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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5238-h.zip b/5238-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..beecee2 --- /dev/null +++ b/5238-h.zip diff --git a/5238-h/5238-h.htm b/5238-h/5238-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f5904d --- /dev/null +++ b/5238-h/5238-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4870 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="iso-8859-1"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Volume 5 + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body {background:#faebd7; margin:10%; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin-top: .75em; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; text-align: center; } + .figleft {float: left;} + .figright {float: right;} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // +</style> + </head> + <body> + <h2> + THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 5 + </h2> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 5 +by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 5 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: October 27, 2006 [EBook #5238] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 5 *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER + </h2> + <h3> + [By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + </h3> + <h3> + Dublin + </h3> + <h3> + MDCCCXXXIX. + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Volume 5. + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> <img alt="bookcover.jpg (95K)" src="images/bookcover.jpg" + height="986" width="650" /> <br /><br /> <br /><br /> <img alt="spine.jpg (51K)" + src="images/spine.jpg" height="1207" width="650" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> + <img alt="titlepage.jpg (48K)" src="images/titlepage.jpg" height="1141" + width="601" /> <br /><br /><br /><br /> [Note: Though the title page has no + author's name inscribed,<br /> this work is generally attributed to Charles + James Lever.] <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="The_Inn_at_Munich" id="The_Inn_at_Munich">The Inn at Munich</a> + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> <a href="images2/00aTheInnatMunich.jpg"><img + alt="00a The Inn at Munich (96K)" + src="images/00aTheInnatMunich.jpg" height="1179" width="693" /></a> + <br /> Click on this or any of the following images<br /> to view the + engraving in black and white detail. <br /><br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <b> "We talked of pipe-clay regulation caps—<br /> + Long twenty-fours—short culverins and mortars—<br /> + Condemn'd the 'Horse Guards' for a set of raps,<br /> + And cursed our fate at being in such quarters.<br /> Some smoked, some + sighed, and some were heard to snore;<br /> Some + wished themselves five fathoms 'neat the Solway;<br /> And some did + pray—who never prayed before—<br /> That + they might get the 'route' for Cork or Galway."<br /> </b> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /> + </p> + + <h3> + CONTENTS + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <table summary=""> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#ch29">CHAPTER XXIX</a> <br /> Captain Trevanion's Adventure + <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch30">CHAPTER XXX</a> <br /> Difficulties <br /> + <br /> <a href="#ch31">CHAPTER XXXI</a> <br /> Explanation <br /> <br /> + <a href="#ch32">CHAPTER XXXII</a> <br /> Mr O'Leary's First Love <br /> + <br /> <a href="#ch33">CHAPTER XXXIII</a> <br /> Mr O'Leary's Second + Love <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch34">CHAPTER XXXIV</a> <br /> The Duel + <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch35">CHAPTER XXXV</a> <br /> Early Recollections—A + First Love <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch36">CHAPTER XXXVI</a> <br /> Wise + Resolves <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch37">CHAPTER XXXVII</a> <br /> The + Proposal <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch38">CHAPTER XXXVIII</a> <br /> + Thoughts upon Matrimony in general, and in the Army <br />in particular—The + Knight of Kerry and Billy M'Cabe <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch39">CHAPTER + XXXIX</a> <br /> A Reminiscence <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch40">CHAPTER XL</a> + <br /> The Two Letters <br /> <br /> <a href="#ch41">CHAPTER XLI</a> + <br /> Mr O'Leary's Capture + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch29" id="ch29"></a>CHAPTER XXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + CAPTAIN TREVANION'S ADVENTURE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Trevanion_Astonishing_the_Bully_Gendemar" + id="Trevanion_Astonishing_the_Bully_Gendemar">Trevanion Astonishing the + Bully Gendemar</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch29TrevanionAstonishingtheBully.jpg"> + <img alt="Ch 29 Trevanion Astonishing the Bully.jpg (68K)" + src="images/Ch29TrevanionAstonishingtheBully.jpg" + height="780" width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + As the day was now waning apace, and I was still unprovided with any one + who could act as my second, I set out upon a search through the various + large hotels in the neighbourhood, trusting that amid my numerous + acquaintance I should be fortunate enough to find some of them at Paris. + With a most anxious eye I scanned the lists of arrivals at the usual + haunts of my countrymen, in the Rue Rivoli, and the Place Vendome, but + without success; there were long catalogues of "Milors," with their + "couriers," but not one name known to me in the number. + </p> + <p> + I repaired to Galignani's library, which, though crowded as ever with + English, did not present to me one familiar face. From thence I turned + into the Palais Royale, and at last, completely jaded by walking, and sick + from disappointment, I sat down upon a bench in the Tuilleries Garden. + </p> + <p> + I had scarcely been there many minutes when a gentleman accosted me in + English, saying, "May I ask if this be your property?" showing, at the + same time, a pocket-book which I had inadvertently dropped in pulling out + my handkerchief. As I thanked him for his attention, and was about to turn + away, I perceived that he continued to look very steadily at me. At length + he said, + </p> + <p> + "I think I am not mistaken; I have the pleasure to see Mr. Lorrequer, who + may perhaps recollect my name, Trevanion of the 43rd. The last time we met + was at Malta." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, I remember perfectly. Indeed I should be very ungrateful if I did + not; for to your kind offices there I am indebted for my life. You must + surely recollect the street row at the 'Caserne?'" + </p> + <p> + "Yes; that was a rather brisk affair while it lasted; but, pray, how long + are you here?" + </p> + <p> + "Merely a few days; and most anxious am I to leave as soon as possible; + for, independently of pressing reasons to wish myself elsewhere, I have + had nothing but trouble and worry since my arrival, and at this instant am + involved in a duel, without the slightest cause that I can discover, and, + what is still worse, without the aid of a single friend to undertake the + requisite negociation for me." + </p> + <p> + "If my services can in any way assist—" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, my dear captain, this is really so great a favour that I cannot say + how much I thank you." + </p> + <p> + "Say nothing whatever, but rest quite assured that I am completely at your + disposal; for although we are not very old friends, yet I have heard so + much of you from some of ours, that I feel as if we had been long + acquainted." + </p> + <p> + This was an immense piece of good fortune to me; for, of all the persons I + knew, he was the most suited to aid me at this moment. In addition to a + thorough knowledge of the continent and its habits, he spoke French + fluently, and had been the most renomme authority in the duello to a large + military acquaintance; joining to a consummate tact and cleverness in his + diplomacy, a temper that never permitted itself to be ruffled, and a most + unexceptionable reputation for courage. In a word, to have had Trevanion + for your second, was not only to have secured odds in your favour, but, + still better, to have obtained the certainty that, let the affair take + what turn it might, you were sure of coming out of it with credit. He was + the only man I have ever met, who had much mixed himself in transactions + of this nature, and yet never, by any chance, had degenerated into the + fire-eater; more quiet, unassuming manners it was impossible to meet with, + and, in the various anecdotes I have heard of him, I have always traced a + degree of forbearance, that men of less known bravery might not venture to + practise. At the same time, when once roused by any thing like + premeditated insult—or pre-determined affront—he became almost + ungovernable, and it would be safer to beard the lion in his den than + cross his path. Among the many stories, and there were a great many + current in his regiment concerning him, there was one so singularly + characteristic of the man, that, as I have passingly mentioned his name + here, I may as well relate it; at the same time premising that, as it is + well known, I may only be repeating an often-heard tale to many of my + readers. + </p> + <p> + When the regiment to which Trevanion belonged became part of the army of + occupation in Paris, he was left at Versailles seriously ill from the + effects of a sabre-wound he received at Waterloo, and from which his + recovery at first was exceedingly doubtful. At the end of several weeks, + however, he became out of danger, and was able to receive the visits of + his brother officers, whenever they were fortunate enough to obtain a + day's leave of absence, to run down and see him. From them he learned that + one of his oldest friends in the regiment had fallen in a duel, during the + time of his illness, and that two other officers were dangerously wounded—one + of whom was not expected to survive. When he inquired as to the reasons of + these many disasters, he was informed that since the entrance of the + allies into Paris, the French officers, boiling with rage and indignation + at their recent defeat, and smarting under the hourly disgrace which the + presence of their conquerors suggested, sought out, by every means in + their power, opportunities of insult; but always so artfully contrived as + to render the opposite party the challenger, thus reserving to themselves + the choice of weapons. When therefore it is borne in mind that the French + are the most expert swordsmen in Europe, little doubt can exist as to the + issue of these combats; and, in fact, scarcely a morning passed without + three or four English or Prussian officers being carried through the + Barriere de l'Etoile, if not dead, at least seriously wounded, and + condemned to carry with them through life the inflictions of a sanguinary + and savage spirit of revenge. + </p> + <p> + While Trevanion listened to this sad recital, and scarcely did a day come + without adding to the long catalogue of disasters, he at once perceived + that the quiet deportment and unassuming demeanour which so strongly + characterise the English officer, were construed by their French opponents + into evidences of want of courage, and saw that to so systematic a plan + for slaughter no common remedy could be applied, and that some "coup + d'etat" was absolutely necessary, to put it down once and for ever. + </p> + <p> + In the history of these sanguinary rencontres, one name was continually + recurring, generally as the principal, sometimes the instigator of the + quarrel. This was an officer of a chasseur regiment, who had the + reputation of being the best swordsman in the whole French army, and was + no less distinguished for his "skill at fence," than his uncompromising + hatred of the British, with whom alone, of all the allied forces, he was + ever known to come in contact. So celebrated was the "Capitaine Augustin + Gendemar" for his pursuits, that it was well known at that time in Paris + that he was the president of a duelling club, associated for the express + and avowed object of provoking to insult, and as certainly dooming to + death every English officer upon whom they could fasten a quarrel. + </p> + <p> + The Cafe Philidor, at that period in the Rue Vivienne, was the rendezvous + of this reputable faction, and here "le Capitaine" reigned supreme, + receiving accounts of the various "affairs" which were transacting—counselling + and plotting for the future. His ascendancy among his countrymen was + perfectly undisputed, and being possessed of great muscular strength, with + that peculiarly "farouche" exterior, without which courage is nothing in + France, he was in every way calculated for the infamous leadership he + assumed. + </p> + <p> + It was, unfortunately, to this same cafe, being situated in what was + called the English quarter, that the officers of the 43rd regiment were in + the habit of resorting, totally unaware of the plots by which they were + surrounded, and quite unsuspecting the tangled web of deliberate and + cold-blooded assassination in which they were involved, and here took + place the quarrel, the result of which was the death of Trevanion's + friend, a young officer of great promise, and universally beloved in his + regiment. + </p> + <p> + As Trevanion listened to these accounts, his impatience became daily + greater, that his weak state should prevent his being among his brother + officers, when his advice and assistance were so imperatively required, + and where, amid all the solicitude for his perfect recovery, he could not + but perceive they ardently wished for him. + </p> + <p> + The day at last arrived, and restored to something like his former self, + Trevanion once more appeared in the mess-room of his regiment. Amid the + many sincere and hearty congratulations on his recovered looks, were not a + few half-expressed hints that he might not go much out into the world for + some little time to come. To these friendly admonitions Trevanion replied + by a good-humoured laugh, and a ready assurance that he understood the + intended kindness, and felt in no wise disposed to be invalided again. "In + fact," said he, "I have come up here to enjoy life a little, not to risque + it; but, among the sights of your gay capital, I must certainly have a + peep at your famed captain, of whom I have heard too much not to feel an + interest in him." + </p> + <p> + Notwithstanding the many objections to this, made with a view to delay his + visit to the Philidor to a later period, it was at length agreed, that + they should all repair to the cafe that evening, but upon the express + understanding that every cause of quarrel should be strictly avoided, and + that their stay should be merely sufficient to satisfy Trevanion's + curiosity as to the personnel of the renomme captain. + </p> + <p> + It was rather before the usual hour of the cafe's filling, that a number + of English officers, among whom was Trevanion, entered the "salon" of the + "Philidor;" having determined not to attract any unusual attention, they + broke into little knots and parties of threes and fours, and dispersed + through the room, where they either sipped their coffee or played at + dominoes, then, as now, the staple resource of a French cafe. + </p> + <p> + The clock over the "comptoir" struck eight, and, at the same instant, a + waiter made his appearance, carrying a small table, which he placed beside + the fire, and, having trimmed a lamp, and placed a large fauteuil before + it, was about to withdraw, when Trevanion, whose curiosity was roused by + the singularity of these arrangements, determined upon asking for whose + comfort they were intended. The waiter stared for a moment at the + question, with an air as if doubting the seriousness of him who put it, + and at last replied—"Pour Monsieur le Capitaine, je crois," with a + certain tone of significance upon the latter words. + </p> + <p> + "Le Capitaine! but what captain?" said he, carelessly; "for I am a + captain, and that gentleman there—and there, too, is another," at + the same instant throwing himself listlessly into the well-cushioned + chair, and stretching out his legs at full length upon the hearth. + </p> + <p> + The look of horror which this quiet proceeding on his part, elicited from + the poor waiter, so astonished him that he could not help saying—"is + there any thing the matter with you, my friend; are you ill?" + </p> + <p> + "No, monsieur, not ill; nothing the matter with me; but you, sir; oh, you, + sir, pray come away." + </p> + <p> + "Me," said Trevanion; "me! why, my good man, I was never better in my + life; so now just bring me my coffee and the Moniteur, if you have it; + there, don't stare that way, but do as I bid you." + </p> + <p> + There was something in the assured tone of these few words that either + overawed or repressed every rising feeling of the waiter, for his + interrogator; for, silently handing his coffee and the newspaper, he left + the room; not, however, without bestowing a parting glance so full of + terror and dismay that our friend was obliged to smile at it. All this was + the work of a few minutes, and not until the noise of new arrivals had + attracted the attention of his brother officers, did they perceive where + he had installed himself, and to what danger he was thus, as they + supposed, unwittingly exposed. + </p> + <p> + It was now, however, too late for remonstrance; for already several French + officers had noticed the circumstance, and by their interchange of looks + and signs, openly evinced their satisfaction at it, and their delight at + the catastrophe which seemed inevitable to the luckless Englishman. + </p> + <p> + In perfect misery at what they conceived their own fault, in not apprising + him of the sacred character of that place, they stood silently looking at + him as he continued to sip his coffee, apparently unconscious of every + thing and person about him. + </p> + <p> + There was now a more than ordinary silence in the cafe, which at all times + was remarkable for the quiet and noiseless demeanour of its frequenters, + when the door was flung open by the ready waiter, and the Capitaine + Augustin Gendemar entered. He was a large, squarely-built man, with a most + savage expression of countenance, which a bushy beard and shaggy + overhanging moustache served successfully to assist; his eyes were shaded + by deep, projecting brows, and long eyebrows slanting over them, and + increasing their look of piercing sharpness; there was in his whole air + and demeanour that certain French air of swaggering bullyism, which ever + remained in those who, having risen from the ranks, maintained the look of + ruffianly defiance which gave their early character for courage peculiar + merit. + </p> + <p> + To the friendly salutations of his countrymen he returned the slightest + and coldest acknowledgments, throwing a glance of disdain around him as he + wended his way to his accustomed place beside the fire; this he did with + as much of noise and swagger as he could well contrive; his sabre and + sabretasch clanking behind, his spurs jangling, and his heavy step, made + purposely heavier to draw upon him the notice and attention he sought for. + Trevanion alone testified no consciousness of his entrance, and appeared + totally engrossed by the columns of his newspaper, from which he never + lifted his eyes for an instant. Le Capitaine at length reached the + fire-place, when, no sooner did he behold his accustomed seat in the + possession of another, than he absolutely started back with surprise and + anger. + </p> + <p> + What might have been his first impulse it is hard to say, for, as the + blood rushed to his face and forehead, he clenched his hands firmly, and + seemed for an instant, as he eyed the stranger, like a tiger about to + spring upon its victim; this was but for a second, for turning rapidly + round towards his party, he gave them a look of peculiar meaning, showing + two rows of white teeth, with a grin which seemed to say, "I have taken my + line;" and he had done so. He now ordered the waiter, in a voice of + thunder, to bring him a chair, this he took roughly from him, and placed, + with a crash, upon the floor, exactly opposite that of Trevanion, and + still so near as scarcely to permit of his sitting down upon it. The noisy + vehemence of this action at last appeared to have roused Trevanion's + attention, for he now, for the first time, looked up from his paper, and + quietly regarded his vis-a-vis. There could not in the world be a stronger + contrast to the bland look and courteous expression of Trevanion's + handsome features, than the savage scowl of the enraged Frenchman, in + whose features the strong and ill-repressed workings of passion were + twitching and distorting every lineament and line; indeed no words could + ever convey one half so forcibly as did that look, insult—open, + palpable, deep, determined insult. + </p> + <p> + Trevanion, whose eyes had been merely for a moment lifted from his paper, + again fell, and he appeared to take no notice whatever of the + extraordinary proximity of the Frenchman, still less of the savage and + insulting character of his looks. + </p> + <p> + Le Capitaine, having thus failed to bring on the eclaircissement he sought + for, proceeded to accomplish it by other means; for, taking the lamp, by + the light of which Trevanion was still reading, he placed it at his side + of the table, and at the same instant stretching across his arm, he + plucked the newspaper from his hand, giving at the same moment a glance of + triumph towards the bystanders, as though he would say, "you see what he + must submit to." Words cannot describe the astonishment of the British + officers, as they beheld Trevanion, under this gross and open insult, + content himself by a slight smile and half bow, as if returning a + courtesy, and then throw his eyes downward, as if engaged in deep thought, + while the triumphant sneer of the French, at this unaccountable conduct, + was absolutely maddening to them to endure. + </p> + <p> + But their patience was destined to submit to stronger proof, for at this + instant le Capitaine stretched forth one enormous leg, cased in his + massive jack-boot, and with a crash deposited the heel upon the foot of + their friend Trevanion. At length he is roused, thought they, for a slight + flush of crimson flitted across his cheek, and his upper lip trembled with + a quick spasmodic twitching; but both these signs were over in a second, + and his features were as calm and unmoved as before, and his only + appearance of consciousness of the affront, was given by his drawing back + his chair and placing his legs beneath it, as for protection. + </p> + <p> + This last insult, and the tame forbearance with which it was submitted to, + produced all their opposite effects upon the by-standers, and looks of + ungovernable rage and derisive contempt were every moment interchanging; + indeed, were it not for the all-absorbing interest which the two great + actors in the scene had concentrated upon themselves, the two parties must + have come at once into open conflict. + </p> + <p> + The clock of the cafe struck nine, the hour at which Gendemar always + retired, so calling to the waiter for his petit verre of brandy, he placed + his newspaper upon the table, and putting both his elbows upon it, and his + chin upon his hands, he stared full in Trevanion's face, with a look of + the most derisive triumph, meant to crown the achievement of the evening. + To this, as to all his former insults, Trevanion appeared still + insensible, and merely regarded him with his never—changing half + smile; the petite verre arrived; le Capitaine took it in his hand, and, + with a nod of most insulting familiarity, saluted Trevanion, adding with a + loud voice, so as to be heard on every side—"a votre courage, + Anglais." He had scarcely swallowed the liqueur when Trevanion rose slowly + from his chair, displaying to the astonished gaze of the Frenchman the + immense proportions and gigantic frame of a man well known as the largest + officer in the British army; with one stride he was beside the chair of + the Frenchman, and with the speed of lightening he seized his nose by one + hand, while with the other he grasped his lower jaw, and, wrenching open + his mouth with the strength of an ogre, he spat down his throat. + </p> + <p> + So sudden was the movement, that before ten seconds had elapsed, all was + over, and the Frenchman rushed from the room, holding the fragments of his + jaw-bone, (for it was fractured!) And followed by his countrymen, who, + from that hour, deserted the Cafe Philidor, nor was there ever any mention + of the famous captain during the stay of the regiment in Paris. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch30" id="ch30"></a>CHAPTER XXX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + DIFFICULTIES. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + While we walked together towards Meurice, I explained to Trevanion the + position in which I stood; and having detailed, at full length, the fracas + at the Salon, and the imprisonment of O'Leary, entreated his assistance in + behalf of him, as well as to free me from some of my many embarrassments. + </p> + <p> + It was strange enough—though at first so pre-occupied was I with + other thoughts, that I paid but little attention to it—that no part + of my eventful evening seemed to make so strong an impression on him as my + mention of having seen my cousin Guy, and heard from him of the death of + my uncle. At this portion of my story he smiled, with so much significance + of meaning, that I could not help asking his reason. + </p> + <p> + "It is always an unpleasant task, Mr. Lorrequer, to speak in any way, + however delicately, in a tone of disparagement of a man's relatives; and, + therefore, as we are not long enough acquainted—" + </p> + <p> + "But pray," said I, "waive that consideration, and only remember the + position in which I now am. If you know any thing of this business, I + entreat you to tell me—I promise to take whatever you may be + disposed to communicate, in the same good part it is intended." + </p> + <p> + "Well, then, I believe you are right; but, first, let me ask you, how do + you know of your uncle's death; for I have reason to doubt it?" + </p> + <p> + "From Guy; he told me himself." + </p> + <p> + "When did you see him, and where?" + </p> + <p> + "Why, I have just told you; I saw him last night at the Salon." + </p> + <p> + "And you could not be mistaken?" + </p> + <p> + "Impossible! Besides, he wrote to me a note which I received this morning—here + it is." + </p> + <p> + "Hem—ha. Well, are you satisfied that this is his handwriting?" said + Trevanion, as he perused the note slowly twice over. + </p> + <p> + "Why, of course—but stop—you are right; it is not his hand, + nor do I know the writing, now that you direct my attention to it. But + what can that mean? You, surely, do not suppose that I have mistaken any + one for him; for, independent of all else, his knowledge of my family, and + my uncle's affairs, would quite disprove that." + </p> + <p> + "This is really a complex affair," said Trevanion, musingly. "How long may + it be since you saw your cousin—before last night, I mean?" + </p> + <p> + "Several years; above six, certainly." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, it is quite possible, then," said Trevanion, musingly; "do you know, + Mr. Lorrequer, this affair seems much more puzzling to me than to you, and + for this plain reason—I am disposed to think you never saw your + cousin last night." + </p> + <p> + "Why, confound it, there is one circumstance that I think may satisfy you + on that head. You will not deny that I saw some one, who very much + resembled him; and certainly, as he lent me above three thousand franks to + play with at the table, it looks rather more like his act than that of a + perfect stranger." + </p> + <p> + "Have you got the money?" asked Trevanion dryly. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," said I; "but certainly you are the most unbelieving of mortals, and + I am quite happy that I have yet in my possession two of the billets de + banque, for, I suppose, without them, you would scarcely credit me." I + here opened my pocket-book, and produced the notes. + </p> + <p> + He took them, examined them attentively for an instant, held them between + him and the light, refolded them, and, having placed them in my + pocket-book, said—"I thought as much—they are forgeries." + </p> + <p> + "Hold!" said I, "my cousin Guy, whatever wildness he may have committed, + is yet totally incapable of—" + </p> + <p> + "I never said the contrary, replied Trevanion, in the same dry tone as + before. + </p> + <p> + "Then what can you mean, for I see no alternative between that and totally + discrediting the evidence of my senses?" + </p> + <p> + "Perhaps I can suggest a middle course," said Trevanion; "lend me, + therefore, a patient hearing for a few moments, and I may be able to throw + some light upon this difficult matter. You may never have heard that there + is, in this same city of Paris, a person so extremely like your cousin + Guy, that his most intimate friends have daily mistaken one for the other, + and this mistake has the more often been made, from the circumstances of + their both being in the habit of frequenting the same class in society, + where, knowing and walking with the same people, the difficulty of + discriminating has been greatly increased. This individual, who has too + many aliases for one to know which to particularise him by, is one of that + numerous order of beings whom a high state of civilization is always + engendering and throwing up on the surface of society; he is a man of low + birth and mean connexions, but gifted with most taking manners and an + unexceptionable address and appearance; these advantages, and the + possession of apparently independent means, have opened to him the access + to a certain set of people, who are well known and well received in + society, and obtained for him, what he prizes much more, the admission + into several clubs where high play is carried on. In this mixed + assemblage, which sporting habits and gambling, (that grand leveller of + all distinctions,) have brought together, this man and your cousin Guy met + frequently, and, from the constant allusion to the wonderful resemblance + between them, your eccentric cousin, who, I must say, was never too select + in his acquaintances, frequently amused himself by practical jokes upon + their friends, which served still more to nurture the intimacy between + them; and from this habit, Mr. Dudley Morewood, for such is his latest + patronymic, must have enjoyed frequent opportunities of hearing much of + your family and relations, a species of information he never neglected, + though at the moment it might appear not so immediately applicable to his + purposes. Now, this man, who knows of every new English arrival in Paris, + with as much certainty as the police itself, would at once be aware of + your being here, and having learned from Guy how little intercourse there + had been of late years between you, would not let slip an opportunity of + availing himself of the likeness, if any thing could thereby turn to his + profit." + </p> + <p> + "Stop," cried I; "you have opened my eyes completely, for now I remember + that, as I continued to win last night, this man, who was playing hazard + at another table, constantly borrowed from me, but always in gold, + invariably refusing the billets de banque as too high for his game." + </p> + <p> + "There his object was clear enough; for besides obtaining your gold, he + made you the means of disseminating his false billets de banque." + </p> + <p> + "So that I have been actually playing and winning upon this fellow's + forgeries," said I; "and am perhaps at this very instant inscribed in the + 'Livre noir' of the police, as a most accomplished swindler; but what + could be the intention of his note of this morning?" + </p> + <p> + "As to that," said Trevanion, "it is hard to say; one thing you may + assuredly rely upon—it is not an unnecessary epistle, whatever be + its object; he never wastes his powder when the game flies too high; so we + must only wait patiently for the unravelment of his plans, satisfied that + we, at least, know something. What most surprises me is, his venturing, at + present, to appear in public; for it is not above two months since an + escapade of his attracted so much attention of the play world here, that + he was obliged to leave, and it was supposed that he would never return to + Paris." + </p> + <p> + "One piece of good fortune there is at least," said I, "which, I can + safely say repays me for any and all the annoyance this unhappy affair may + cause me; it is, that my poor old uncle is still alive and well. Not all + my anticipated pleasures, in newly acquired wealth, could have afforded me + the same gratification that this fact does, for, although never so much + his favourite as my cousin, yet the sense of protection—the feeling + of confidence, which is inseparable from the degree of relationship + between us—standing, as he has ever done, in the light of a father + to me, is infinitely more pleasurable than the possession of riches, which + must ever suggest to me, the recollection of a kind friend lost to me for + ever. But so many thoughts press on me—so many effects of this + affair are staring me in the face—I really know not which way to + turn, nor can I even collect my ideas sufficiently, to determine what is + first to be done." + </p> + <p> + "Leave all that to me," said Trevanion; "it is a tangled web, but I think + I can unravel it; meanwhile, where does the Militaire reside? for, among + all your pressing engagements, this affair with the Frenchman must come + off first; and for this reason, although you are not really obliged to + give him satisfaction, by his merely producing your card, and insisting + that you are to be responsible for the misdeeds of any one who might show + it as his own address, yet I look upon it as a most fortunate thing, while + charges so heavy may be at this moment hanging over your head, as the + proceedings of last night involve, that you have a public opportunity of + meeting an antagonist in the field—thereby evincing no fear of + publicity, nor any intention of absconding; for be assured, that the + police are at this moment in possession of what has occurred, and from the + fracas which followed, are well disposed to regard the whole as a + concerted scheme to seize upon the property of the banque, a not uncommon + wind-up here after luck fails. My advice is therefore, meet the man at + once; I shall take care that the prefect is informed that you have been + imposed upon by a person passing himself off as your relative, and enter + bail for your appearance, whenever you are called upon; that being done, + we shall have time for a moment's respite to look around us, and consider + the other bearings of this difficult business." + </p> + <p> + "Here, then, is the card of address," said I; "Eugene Dejoncourt Capitaine + de Cavalerie, No. 8, Chausse D'Antin." + </p> + <p> + "Dejoncourt! why, confound it, this is not so pleasant; he is about the + best shot in Paris, and a very steady swordsman besides, I don't like + this." + </p> + <p> + "But you forget he is the friend, not the principal here." + </p> + <p> + "The more good fortune yours," said Trevanion, drily; "for I acknowledge I + should not give much for your chance at twenty paces opposite his pistol; + then who is the other?" + </p> + <p> + "Le Baron d'Haulpenne," said I, "and his name is all that I know of him; + his very appearance is unknown to me." + </p> + <p> + "I believe I am acquainted with him," said Trevanion; "but here we are at + Meurice. Now I shall just write a few lines to a legal friend, who will + manage to liberate Mr. O'Leary, whose services we shall need, two persons + are usual on each side in this country, and then, 'a l'ouvrage.'" + </p> + <p> + The note written and despatched; Trevanion jumped into a cab, and set out + for the Chausse D'Antin; leaving me to think over, as well as I could, the + mass of trouble and confusion that twenty-four hours of life in Paris had + involved me in. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch31" id="ch31"></a>CHAPTER XXXI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + EXPLANATION. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + It was past seven o'clock when Trevanion made his appearance, accompanied + by O'Leary; and having in few words informed me that a meeting was fixed + for the following morning, near St. Cloud, proposed that we should go to + dinner at Verey's, after which we should have plenty of time to discuss + the various steps to be taken. As we were leaving the hotel for this + purpose, a waiter requested of me to permit Mr. Meurice to speak a few + words to me; which, having agreed to, I entered the little bureau where + this Czar of hotels sits enthroned, and what was my surprise to learn the + request he had to prefer, was nothing less than that I would so far oblige + him as to vacate the room I possessed in the hotel, adding that my + compliance would confer upon him the power to accommodate a "milor" who + had written for apartments, and was coming with a large suite of servants. + Suspecting that some rumour of the late affair at Frescati might have + influenced my friend Meurice in this unusual demand, I abruptly refused, + and was about to turn away, when he, perhaps guessing that I had not + believed his statements, handed me an open letter, saying, "You see, sir, + this is the letter; and, as I am so pressed for spare room, I must now + refuse the writer." + </p> + <p> + As my eye glanced at the writing, I started back with amazement to + perceive it was in my cousin Guy's hand, requesting that apartments might + be retained for Sir Guy Lorrequer, my uncle, who was to arrive in Paris by + the end of the week. If any doubt had remained on my mind as to the + deception I had been duped by, this would completely have dispelled it, + but I had long before been convinced of the trick, and only wondered how + the false Guy—Mr. Dudley Morewood—had contrived to present + himself to me so opportunely, and by what means, in so short a space of + time, he had become acquainted with my personal appearance. + </p> + <p> + As I mentioned this circumstance of the letter to Trevanion, he could not + conceal his satisfaction at his sagacity in unravelling the mystery, while + this new intelligence confirmed the justness and accuracy of all his + explanations. + </p> + <p> + While we walked along towards the Palais Royale, Trevanion endeavoured not + very successfully, to explain to my friend O'Leary, the nature of the + trick which had been practised, promising, at another time, some + revelations concerning the accomplished individual who had planned it, + which, in boldness and daring, eclipsed even this. + </p> + <p> + Any one who in waking has had the confused memory of a dream in which + events have been so mingled and mixed as to present no uniform narrative, + but only a mass of strange and incongruous occurrences, without object or + connexion, may form some notion of the state of restless excitement my + brain suffered from, as the many and conflicting ideas my late adventures + suggested, presented themselves to my mind in rapid succession. + </p> + <p> + The glare, the noise, and the clatter of a French cafe are certainly not + the agents most in request for restoring a man to the enjoyment of his + erring faculties; and, if I felt addled and confused before, I had + scarcely passed the threshold of Verey's when I became absolutely like one + in a trance. The large salon was more than usually crowded, and it was + with difficulty that we obtained a place at a table where some other + English were seated, among whom I recognised by lately made acquaintance, + Mr. Edward Bingham. + </p> + <p> + Excepting a cup of coffee I had taken nothing the entire day, and so + completely did my anxieties of different kinds subdue all appetite, that + the most recherche viands of this well-known restaurant did not in the + least tempt me. The champagne alone had any attraction for me; and, + seduced by the icy coldness of the wine, I drank copiously. This was all + that was wanting to complete the maddening confusion of my brain, and the + effect was instantaneous; the lights danced before my eyes; the lustres + whirled round; and, as the scattered fragments of conversations, on either + side met my ear, I was able to form some not very inaccurate conception of + what insanity may be. Politics and literature, Mexican bonds and Noblet's + legs, Pates de perdreaux and the quarantine laws, the extreme gauche and + the "Bains Chinois," Victor Hugo and rouge et noir, had formed a species + of grand ballet d'action in my fevered brain, and I was perfectly beside + myself; occasionally, too, I would revert to my own concerns, although I + was scarcely able to follow up any train of thought for more than a few + seconds together, and totally inadequate to distinguish the false from the + true. I continued to confound the counterfeit with my cousin, and wonder + how my poor uncle, for whom I was about to put on the deepest mourning, + could possibly think of driving me out of my lodgings. Of my duel for the + morning, I had the most shadowy recollection, and could not perfectly + comprehend whether it was O'Leary or I was the principal, and indeed cared + but little. In this happy state of independent existence I must have + passed a considerable time, and as my total silence when spoken to, or my + irrelevant answers, appeared to have tired out my companions, they left me + to the uninterrupted enjoyment of my own pleasant imaginings. + </p> + <p> + "Do you hear, Lorrequer," at last said Trevanion; "are you asleep, my dear + friend? This gentleman has been good enough to invite us to breakfast + to-morrow at St. Cloud." + </p> + <p> + I looked up, and was just able to recognise the well-trimmed moustache of + Mr. Edward Bingham, as he stood mumbling something before me. "St. Cloud + —what of St. Cloud?" said I. + </p> + <p> + "We have something in that quarter to-morrow." + </p> + <p> + "What is it, O'Leary? Can we go?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh! certainly—our engagement's an early one." + </p> + <p> + "We shall accept your polite invitation with pleasure"— + </p> + <p> + Here he stooped over, and whispered something in my ear; what, I cannot + say, but I know that my reply, now equally lost to me, produced a hearty + fit of laughing to my two friends. + </p> + <p> + My next recollection is, finding myself in a crowded loge at the theatre. + It seems that O'Leary had acceded to a proposal from some of the other + party to accompany them to the Porte St. Martin, where Mrs. Bingham and + her daughter had engaged a box. Amid all the confusion which troubled + thoughts and wine produced in me, I could not help perceiving a studied + politeness and attention on the part of Mr. Edward Bingham towards me; and + my first sobering reflection came, on finding that a place was reserved + for me beside Miss Bingham, into which, by some contrivance I can in no + wise explain, I found myself almost immediately installed. To all the + excitements of champagne and punch, let the attractions of a French ballet + be added, and, with a singularly pretty companion at your side, to whom + you have already made sufficient advances to be aware that you are no + longer indifferent to her, and I venture to predict, that it is much more + likely your conversation will incline to flirting than political economy; + and, moreover, that you make more progress during the performance of one + single pas de deux upon the stage, than you have hitherto done in ten + morning calls, with an unexceptionable whisker and the best fitting gloves + in Paris. Alas! alas! it is only the rich man that ever wins at rouge et + noir. The well-insured Indiaman, with her cargo of millions, comes safe + into port; while the whole venture of some hardy veteran of the wave, + founders within sight of his native shore. So is it ever; where success + would be all and every thing, it never comes—but only be indifferent + or regardless, and fortune is at your feet, suing and imploring your + acceptance of her favours. What would I not have given for one half of + that solicitude now so kindly expressed in my favour by Miss Bingham, if + syllabled by the lips of Lady Jane Callonby—how would my heart have + throbbed for one light smile from one, while I ungratefully basked in the + openly avowed preference of the other. These were my first thoughts—what + were the succeeding ones? + </p> + <p> + "Comment elle est belle," said a Frenchwoman, turning round in the box + next to us, and directing at the same moment the eyes of a moustached hero + upon my fair companion. + </p> + <p> + What a turn to my thoughts did this unexpected ejaculation give rise to! I + now began to consider her more attentively, and certainly concurred fully + in the Frenchwoman's verdict. I had never see her look half so well + before. The great fault in her features, which were most classically + regular, lay in the monotony and uniform character of their expression. + Now this was quite changed. Her cheek was slightly flushed, and her eyes + more brilliant than ever; while her slightly parted lips gave a degree of + speaking earnestness to her expression, that made her perfectly beautiful. + </p> + <p> + Whether it was from this cause I cannot say, but I certainly never felt so + suddenly decided in my life from one course to its very opposite, as I now + did to make l'aimable to my lovely companion. And here, I fear, I must + acknowledge, in the honesty of these confessional details, that vanity had + also its share in the decision. To be the admitted and preferred suitor of + the prettiest woman in company, is generally a strong inducement to fall + desperately in love with her, independently of other temptations for so + doing. + </p> + <p> + How far my successes tallied with my good intentions in this respect, I + cannot now say. I only remember, that more than once O'Leary whispered to + me something like a caution of some sort or other; but Emily's encouraging + smiles and still more encouraging speeches had far more effect upon me + than all the eloquence of the united service, had it been engaged in my + behalf, would have effected. Mrs. Bingham, too—who, to do her + justice, seemed but little cognisant of our proceedings—from time to + time evinced that species of motherly satisfaction which very young men + rejoice much in, and older ones are considerably alarmed at. + </p> + <p> + The play over O'Leary charged himself with the protection of madam, while + I enveloped Emily in her cachmere, and drew her arm within my own. What my + hand had to do with her's I know not; it remains one of the unexplained + difficulties of that eventful evening. I have, it is true, a hazy + recollection of pressing some very taper and delicately formed finger—and + remember, too, the pain I felt next morning on awaking, by the pressure of + a too tight ring, which had, by some strange accident, found its way to my + finger, for which its size was but ill adapted. + </p> + <p> + "You will join us at supper, I hope," said Mrs. Bingham, as Trevanion + handed her to her carriage. "Mr. Lorrequer, Mr. O'Leary, we shall expect + you." + </p> + <p> + I was about to promise to do so, when Trevanion, suddenly interrupted me, + saying that he had already accepted an invitation, which would, + unfortunately, prevent us; and having hastily wished the ladies good + night, hurried me away so abruptly, that I had not a moment given for even + one parting look at the fair Emily. + </p> + <p> + "Why, Trevanion," said I, "what invitation are you dreaming of? I, for + one, should have been delighted to have gone home with the Binghams." + </p> + <p> + "So I perceived," said Trevanion, gravely; "and it was for that precise + reason I so firmly refused what, individually, I should have been most + happy to accept." + </p> + <p> + "Then, pray, have the goodness to explain." + </p> + <p> + "It is easily done. You have already, in recounting your manifold + embarrassments, told me enough of these people, to let me see that they + intend you should marry among them; and, indeed, you have gone quite far + enough to encourage such an expectation. Your present excited state has + led you sufficiently far this evening, and I could not answer for your not + proposing in all form before the supper was over; therefore, I had no + other course open to me than positively to refuse Mrs. Bingham's + invitation. But here we are now at the 'Cadran rouge;' we shall have our + lobster and a glass of Moselle, and then to bed, for we must not forget + that we are to be at St. Cloud by seven." + </p> + <p> + "Ah! that is a good thought of yours about the lobster," said O'Leary; + "and now, as you understand these matters, just order supper, and let us + enjoy ourselves." + </p> + <p> + With all the accustomed despatch of a restaurant, a most appetizing petit + souper made its speedy appearance; and although now perfectly divested of + the high excitement which had hitherto possessed me, my spirits were + excellent, and I never more relished our good fare and good fellowship. + </p> + <p> + After a full bumper to the health of the fair Emily had been proposed and + drained by all three, Trevanion again explained how much more serious + difficulty would result from any false step in that quarter than from all + my other scrapes collectively. + </p> + <p> + This he represented so strongly, that for the first time I began to + perceive the train of ill consequences that must inevitably result, and + promised most faithfully to be guided by any counsel he might feel + disposed to give me. + </p> + <p> + "Ah! what a pity," said O'Leary, "it is not my case. It's very little + trouble it would cost any one to break off a match for me. I had always a + most peculiar talent for those things. + </p> + <p> + "Indeed!" said Trevanion. "Pray, may we know your secret? for, perhaps, + ere long we may have occasion for its employment." + </p> + <p> + "Tell it, by all means," said I. + </p> + <p> + "If I do," said O'Leary, "it will cost you a patient hearing; for my + experiences are connected with two episodes in my early life, which, + although not very amusing, are certainly instructive." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! by all means, let us hear them," said Trevanion; "for we have yet two + bottles of chambertin left, and must finish them ere we part." + </p> + <p> + "Well, agreed," said O'Leary; "only, once for all, as what I am about to + confide is strictly confidential, you must promise never even to allude to + it hereafter in even the most remote manner, much less indulge in any + unseemly mirth at what I shall relate." + </p> + <p> + Having pledged ourselves to secrecy and a becoming seriousness, O'Leary + began his story as follows:— + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch32" id="ch32"></a>CHAPTER XXXII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + MR. O'LEARY'S FIRST LOVE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + "It was during the vice-royalty of the late Duke of Richmond that the + incidents I am about to mention took place. That was a few years since, + and I was rather younger, and a little more particular about my dress than + at present." Here the little man cast an eye of stoical satisfaction upon + his uncouth habiliments, that nearly made us forget our compact, and laugh + outright. "Well, in those wild and headstrong days of youthful ardour, I + fell in love—desperately in love—and as always is, I believe, + the case with our early experiments in that unfortunate passion, the + object of my affection was in every way unsuited to me. She was a tall, + dark-haired, dark-eyed maiden, with a romantic imagination, and a kind of + a half-crazed poetic fervour, that often made me fear for her intellect. + I'm a short, rather fat—I was always given this way"—here he + patted a waistcoat that would fit Dame Lambert—"happy-minded little + fellow, that liked my supper of oysters at the Pigeon-house, and my other + creature-comforts, and hated every thing that excited or put one out of + one's way, just as I would have hated a blister. Then, the devil would + have it—for as certainly as marriages are made in heaven, + flirtations have something to say to the other place—that I should + fall most irretrievably in love with Lady Agnes Moreton. Bless my soul, it + absolutely puts me in a perspiration this hot day, just to think over all + I went through on her account; for, strange to say, the more I appeared to + prosper in her good graces, the more did she exact on my part; the pursuit + was like Jacob's ladder—if it did lead to heaven it was certainly an + awfully long journey, and very hard on one's legs. There was not an + amusement she could think of, no matter how unsuited to my tastes or my + abilities, that she did not immediately take a violent fancy to; and then + there was no escaping, and I was at once obliged to go with the tide, and + heaven knows if it would not have carried me to my grave if it were not + for the fortunate (I now call it) accident that broke off the affair for + ever. One time she took a fancy for yachting, and all the danglers about + her—and she always had a cordon of them—young aides-de-camp of + her father the general, and idle hussars, in clanking sabertasches and + most absurd mustachios—all approved of the taste, and so kept + filling her mind with anecdotes of corsairs and smugglers, that at last + nothing would satisfy her till I—I who always would rather have + waited for low water, and waded the Liffey in all its black mud, than + cross over in the ferry-boat, for fear of sickness—I was obliged to + put an advertisement in the newspaper for a pleasure-boat, and, before + three weeks, saw myself owner of a clinker-built schooner, of forty-eight + tons, that by some mockery of fortune was called 'The Delight.' I wish you + saw me, as you might have done every morning for about a month, as I stood + on the Custom-house quay, giving orders for the outfit of the little + craft. At first, as she bobbed and pitched with the flood-tide, I used to + be a little giddy and rather qualmish, but at last I learned to look on + without my head reeling. I began to fancy myself very much of a sailor, a + delusion considerably encouraged by a huge P. jacket and a sou'-wester, + both of which, though it was in the dog-days, Agnes insisted upon my + wearing, saying I looked more like Dirk Hatteraick, who, I understood, was + one of her favourite heroes in Walter Scott. In fact, after she suggested + this, she and all her friends called me nothing but Dirk. + </p> + <p> + "Well, at last, after heaven knows how many excuses on my part, and + entreaties for delay, a day was appointed for our first excursion. I shall + never forget that day—the entire night before it I did not close my + eyes; the skipper had told me in his confounded sea-jargon, that if the + wind was in one quarter we should have a short tossing sea; and if in + another a long rolling swell; and if in a third, a happy union of both—in + fact, he made it out that it could not possibly blow right, an opinion I + most heartily coincided in, and most devoutly did I pray for a calm, that + would not permit of our stirring from our moorings, and thus mar our + projected party of pleasure. My prayer was unheard, but my hopes rose on + the other hand, for it blew tremendously during the entire night, and + although there was a lull towards morning, the sea, even in the river, was + considerable. + </p> + <p> + "I had just come to the conclusion that I was safe for this time, when the + steward poked his head into the room and said, + </p> + <p> + "'Mr. Brail wishes to know, sir, if he'll bend the new mainsail to-day, as + it's blowing rather fresh, and he thinks the spars light.' + </p> + <p> + "'Why the devil take him, he would not have us go out in a hurricane; + surely, Pipes, we could not take out ladies to-day?' + </p> + <p> + "'O, bless your heart, yes, sir; it blows a bit to be sure, but she's a + good sea-boat, and we can run for Arklow or the Hook, if it comes + fresher.' + </p> + <p> + "'Oh, nonsense, there's no pleasure in that; besides I'm sure they won't + like it—the ladies won't venture, you'll see.' + </p> + <p> + "'Ay sir, but they're all on board already: there's eight ladies in the + cabin, and six on deck, and as many hampers of victuals and as much + crockery as if we were a-goin' to Madeira. Captain Grantham, sir, the + soldier officer, with the big beard, is a mixing punch in the grog-tub.' + </p> + <p> + "'From the consequences of this day I proclaim myself innocent,' said I + with a solemn voice, as I drew on my duck trowsers, and prepared to set + out. + </p> + <p> + "'And the mainsail, sir,' said the steward, not understanding what I said. + </p> + <p> + "'I care not which,' said I, doggedly; 'act or part in this wilful + proceeding I'll not take.' + </p> + <p> + "'Ay, ay, sir,' said the stupid wretch, 'then I'll say you're coming, and + he may stretch the large canvas; for the skipper says he likes a wet + jacket when he has gentlemen out.' + </p> + <p> + "Never did a victim put on a flame-coloured garment, the emblem of fate, + and set out on the march of death, with a heavier heart, than did I put on + my pilot-coat that morning to join my friends. + </p> + <p> + "My last hope deserted me as I saw the little vessel lying beside the + quay; for I continued to trust that in getting out from the dock some + accident or mischance might occur to spoil our sport. But no; there she + lay, rolling and pitching in such a way that, even at anchor, they could + not stand on the deck without holding. Amid the torrent of compliments for + the perfection of all my arrangements, and innumerable sweet things on my + taste in the decoration and fitting up of my cabin, I scarcely felt myself + afloat for some minutes, and we got under weigh amid a noise and uproar + that absolutely prevented the possibility of thought. + </p> + <p> + "Hitherto our destination had not been mentioned, and as all the party + appealed to Lady Agnes, I could not be less gallant, and joined them in + their request. + </p> + <p> + "'Well then, what do you think of Lambay?' said she, looking at the same + moment towards the skipper. + </p> + <p> + "'We can make it, my lady,' said the man, 'but we'll have a roughish sea + of it, for there's a strong point of westward in the wind.' + </p> + <p> + "'Then don't think of it,' said I. 'We have come out for pleasure, not to + make our friends sick, or terrify them. It does very well for us men.' + </p> + <p> + "'There you are, Dirk, with your insolent sneers about women's nerves and + female cowardice. Now, nothing but Lambay will content me—what say + you, ladies?' + </p> + <p> + "A general reply of approval met this speech, and it was carried by + acclamation. + </p> + <p> + "'Lambay then be it,' said I, with the voice of a man, who, entreating to + be shot, is informed that he cannot be afforded that pleasure, as his + sentence is to be hanged. But I must hasten over these painful + recollections. We dropped down the river, and soon left the light-house + and its long pier behind us, the mast bending like a whip, and the sea + boiling like barm over the lee gunwale. Still the spirit of our party only + rose the lighter, and nothing but eulogies upon the men and sailing of the + craft resounded on all sides; the din and buz of the conversation went on + only more loudly and less restrictedly than if the party had been on + shore, and all, even myself, seemed happy, for up to this moment I had not + been sea-sick, yet certain pleasant sensations, that alternately evinced + themselves in my stomach and my head, warned me of what was in store for + me. The word was now given to tack; I was in the act of essaying a soft + speech to Lady Agnes, when the confounded cry of 'ready about, starboard + there, let go sheets and tacks, stand by, hawl.' The vessel plunged + head-foremost into the boiling sea, which hissed on either bow; the heavy + boom swung over, carrying my hat along with it—and almost my head + too. The rest of the party, possibly better informed than myself, speedily + changed their places to the opposite side of the boat, while I remained + holding off fast by the gunwale, till the sea rushing over, what was now + becoming the lee-side, carried me head over heels into the shingle ballast + in the waist. Lord, how they did laugh! Agnes, too, who never before could + get beyond a very faint smile, grew almost hysterical at my performance. + As for me, I only wanted this to complete my long threatened misfortune; + sea sickness in all its most miserable forms, set in upon me, and, ere + half an hour, I lay upon that heap of small stones, as indifferent to all + round and about me as though I were dead. Oh, the long, dreary hours of + that melancholy day; it seemed like a year. They tacked and tacked, they + were beat and tacked again, the sea washing over me, and the ruffianly + sailors trampling upon me without the slightest remorse, whenever they had + any occasion to pass back or forward. From my long trance of suffering I + was partly roused by the steward shaking my shoulder, saying, + </p> + <p> + "'The gentlemen wish to know, sir, if you'd like summat to eat, as they're + a goin' to have a morsel; we are getting into slack water now.' + </p> + <p> + "'Where are we?' I replied, in a sepulchral voice. + </p> + <p> + "'Off the Hook, sir; we have had a most splendid run, but I fear we'll + catch it soon; there's some dirty weather to the westward.' + </p> + <p> + "'God grant it,' said I, piously and in a low tone. + </p> + <p> + "'Did you say you'd have a bit to eat. Sir?' + </p> + <p> + "'No!—eat!—am I a cannibal?—eat—go away—mark + me, my good fellow, I'll pay you your wages, if ever we get ashore; you'll + never set another foot aboard with me.' + </p> + <p> + "The man looked perfectly astounded as he moved away, and my thoughts were + soon engrossed by the proceedings near me. The rattle of knives, and the + jingling of plates and glasses went on very briskly for some time, + accompanied by various pleasant observations of my guests, for such I + judged them, from the mirth which ever followed them. At last I thought I + heard my name, or at least what they pleased to use as its substitute, + mentioned; I strained my ears to listen, and learnt that they were + planning to talk over the pretended intention to run for Cowes, and see + the regatta. This they discussed then, for about twenty minutes, in a very + loud voice, purposely to see its effects upon me; but as I was now aware + of the trick, I gave no sign of any intelligence. + </p> + <p> + "'Poor Dirk,' said Grantham; 'I believe by this time he cares very little + which way her head lies; but here comes something better than all our + discussions. Lady Agnes, sit here—Miss Pelham, here's a dry cushion + for you—did you say a wing, Lady Mary?' + </p> + <p> + "Now began the crash and clatter of dinner; champagne corks popping, + glasses ringing, and all that peculiar admixture of fracas and fun, which + accompanies a scrambled meal. How they did laugh, and eat, ay, and drink + too. G's punch seemed to have its success, for sick as I was, I could + perceive the voices of the men grow gradually louder, and discovered that + two gentlemen who had been remarkably timid in the morning, and scarcely + opened their lips, were now rather uproariously given, and one even + proposed to sing. + </p> + <p> + "If any man, thought I, were to look for an instant at the little scene + now enacting here, what a moral might he reap from it; talk of the base + ingratitude of the world, you cannot say too much of it. Who would suppose + that it was my boat these people were assembled in; that it was my + champagne these people were drinking; that my venison and my pheasants + were feeding those lips, which rarely spoke, except to raise a jest at my + expense. My chagrin increased my sickness and my sickness redoubled my + chagrin. + </p> + <p> + "'Mr. Brail,' said I, in a low whisper, 'Mr. Brail.' + </p> + <p> + "'Did you speak, sir?' said he, with about as much surprise in his manner, + as though he had been addressed by a corpse. + </p> + <p> + "'Mr. Brail,' said I, 'is there any danger here?' + </p> + <p> + "'Lord love you, no, sir, she's walking Spanish, and the sea going down; + we shall have lovely weather, and they're all enjoying it, sir,—the + ladies.' + </p> + <p> + "'So I perceive,' said I, with a groan; 'so I perceive; but Mr. Brail, + could you do nothing—just to—to startle them a little, I mean + for fun only? Just ship a heavy sea or two, I don't care for a little + damage, Mr. Brail, and if it were to wash over the dinner-service, and all + the wine, I should not like it worse.' + </p> + <p> + "'Why, sir, you are getting quite funny, the sickness is going.' + </p> + <p> + "'No, Mr. Brail, worse than ever; my head is in two pieces, and my stomach + in the back of my mouth; but I should like you to do this—so just + manage it, will you, and there's twenty pounds in my pocket-book, you can + have it; there now, won't you oblige me, and hark ye, Mr. Brail—if + Captain Grantham were to be washed over by mere accident it cannot be + helped; accidents are always occurring in boating parties. Go now, you + know what I mean.' + </p> + <p> + "'But sir,' began he. + </p> + <p> + "'Well, then, Mr. Brail, you won't—very well: now all I have to say + is this: that the moment I can find strength to do it, I'll stave out a + plank; I'll scuttle the vessel, that's all; I have made up my mind, and + look to yourselves now.' + </p> + <p> + "Saying these words, I again threw myself upon the ballast, and, as the + gay chorus of a drinking song was wafted across me, prayed devoutly that + we might all go down to the bottom. The song over, I heard a harsh, gruff + voice mixing with the more civilized tones of the party, and soon + perceived that Mr. Brail was recounting my proposal amid the most + uproarious shouts of laughter I ever listened to. Then followed a number + of pleasant suggestions for my future management; one proposing to have me + tried for mutiny, and sentenced to a ducking over the side, another that I + should be tarred on my back, to which latter most humane notion, the fair + Agnes subscribed, averring that she was resolved upon my deserving my + sobriquet of Dirk Hatteraick. My wrath was now the master even of deadly + sickness. I got upon my knees, and having in vain tried to reach my legs, + I struggled aft. In this posture did I reach the quarter-deck. What my + intention precisely was in this excursion, I have no notion of now, but I + have some very vague idea, that I meant to re-enact the curse of Kehama + upon the whole party. At last I mustered strength to rise; but alas! I had + scarcely reached the standing position, when a tremendous heel of the boat + to one side, threw me in the gunwale, and before I was able to recover my + balance, a second lurch pitched me headlong into the sea. I have, thank + God, no further recollection of my misfortunes. When I again became + conscious, I found myself wrapped up in a pilot-coat, while my clothes + were drying: the vessel was at anchor in Wexford. My attached friends had + started for town with post-horses, leaving me no less cured of love than + aquatics. + </p> + <p> + "'The Delight' passed over in a few days, to some more favoured son of + Neptune, and I hid my shame and my misfortunes by a year's tour on the + continent." + </p> + <p> + "Although I acknowledge," said Trevanion, "that hitherto I have reaped no + aid from Mr. O'Leary's narrative, yet I think it is not without a moral." + </p> + <p> + "Well, but," said I, "he has got another adventure to tell us; we have + quite time for it, so pray pass the wine and let us have it." + </p> + <p> + "I have just finished the burgundy," said O'Leary, "and if you will ring + for another flask, I have no objection to let you hear the story of my + second love." + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch33" id="ch33"></a>CHAPTER XXXIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + MR. O'LEARY'S SECOND LOVE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Mr._O_Leary_Charges_the_Mob" id="Mr._O_Leary_Charges_the_Mob">Mr. + O'Leary Charges the Mob</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch33MrOLearyChargesaMob.jpg"> <img + alt="Ch 33 Mr O'Leary Charges a Mob.jpg (70K)" + src="images/Ch33MrOLearyChargesaMob.jpg" height="780" + width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + "You may easily suppose," began Mr. O'Leary, "that the unhappy termination + of my first passion served as a shield to me for a long time against my + unfortunate tendencies towards the fair; and such was really the case. I + never spoke to a young lady for three years after, without a reeling in my + head, so associated in my mind was love and sea-sickness. However, at last + what will not time do. It was about four years from the date of this + adventure, when I became so, from oblivion of my former failure, as again + to tempt my fortune. My present choice, in every way unlike the last, was + a gay, lively girl, of great animal spirits, and a considerable turn for + raillery, that spared no one; the members of her own family were not even + sacred in her eyes; and her father, a reverend dean, as frequently figured + among the ludicrous as his neighbours. + </p> + <p> + "The Evershams had been very old friends of a rich aunt of mine, who + never, by the by, had condescended to notice me till I made their + acquaintance; but no sooner had I done so, than she sent for me, and gave + me to understand that in the event of my succeeding to the hand of Fanny + Eversham, I should be her heir, and the possessor of about sixty thousand + pounds. She did not stop here; but by canvassing the dean in my favour, + speedily put the matter on a most favourable footing, and in less than two + months I was received as the accepted suitor of the fair Fanny, then one + of the reigning belles of Dublin. + </p> + <p> + "They lived at this time about three miles from town, in a very pretty + country, where I used to pass all my mornings, and many of my evenings + too, in a state of happiness that I should have considered perfect, if it + were not for two unhappy blots—one, the taste of my betrothed for + laughing at her friends; another the diabolical propensity to talk + politics of my intended father-in-law—to the former I could submit; + but with the latter, submission only made bad worse; for he invariably + drew up as I receded, drily observing that with men who had no avowed + opinions, it was ill agreeing; or that, with persons who kept their + politics as a school-boy does his pocket-money, never to spend, and always + ready to change, it was unpleasant to dispute. Such taunts as these I + submitted to as well as I might; secretly resolving, that as I now knew + the meaning of whig and tory, I'd contrive to spend my life, after + marriage, out of the worthy dean's diocese. + </p> + <p> + "Time wore on, and at length, to my most pressing solicitations, it was + conceded that a day for our marriage should be appointed. Not even the + unlucky termination of this my second love affair can deprive me of the + happy souvenir of the few weeks which were to intervene before our + destined union. + </p> + <p> + "The mornings were passed in ransacking all the shops where wedding finery + could be procured—laces, blondes, velvets, and satins, littered + every corner of the deanery—and there was scarcely a carriage in a + coach-maker's yard in the city that I had not sat and jumped in, to try + the springs, by the special directions of Mrs. Eversham; who never ceased + to impress me with the awful responsibility I was about to take upon me, + in marrying so great a prize as her daughter—a feeling I found very + general among many of my friends at the Kildare-street club. + </p> + <p> + "Among the many indispensable purchases which I was to make, and about + which Fanny expressed herself more than commonly anxious, was a + saddle-horse for me. She was a great horsewoman, and hated riding with + only a servant; and had given me to understand as much about half-a-dozen + times each day for the last five weeks. How shall I acknowledge it—equestrianism + was never my forte. I had all my life considerable respect for the horse + as an animal, pretty much as I dreaded a lion or a tiger; but as to my + intention of mounting upon the back of one, and taking a ride, I should as + soon have dreamed of taking an airing upon a giraffe; and as to the + thought of buying, feeding, and maintaining such a beast at my own proper + cost, I should just as soon have determined to purchase a pillory or a + ducking-stool, by way of amusing my leisure hours. + </p> + <p> + "However, Fanny was obstinate—whether she suspected any thing or not + I cannot say—but nothing seemed to turn her from her purpose; and + although I pleaded a thousand things in delay, yet she each day grew more + impatient, and at last I saw that there was nothing for it but to submit. + </p> + <p> + "When I arrived at this last and bold resolve, I could not help feeling + that to possess a horse and not be able to mount him, was only deferring + the ridicule; and as I had so often expressed the difficulty I felt in + suiting myself as a cause of my delay, I could not possibly come forward + with any thing very objectionable, or I should be only the more laughed + at. There was then but one course to take; a fortnight still intervened + before the day which was to make me happy, and I accordingly resolved to + take lessons in riding during the intervals, and by every endeavour in my + power become, if possible, able to pass muster on the saddle before my + bride. + </p> + <p> + "Poor old Lalouette understood but little of the urgency of the case, when + I requested his leave to take my lessons each morning at six o'clock, for + I dared not absent myself during the day without exciting suspicion; and + never, I will venture to assert, did knight-errant of old strive harder + for the hand of his lady-love than did I during that weary fortnight, if a + hippogriff had been the animal I bestrode, instead of being, as it was, an + old wall-eyed grey, I could not have felt more misgivings at my temerity, + or more proud of my achievement. In the first three days the unaccustomed + exercise proved so severe, that when I reached the deanery I could hardly + move, and crossed the floor, pretty much as a pair of compasses might be + supposed to do if performing that exploit. Nothing, however, could equal + the kindness of my poor dear mother-in-law in embryo, and even the dean + too. Fanny, indeed, said nothing; but I rather think she was disposed to + giggle a little; but my rheumatism, as it was called, was daily inquired + after, and I was compelled to take some infernal stuff in my port wine at + dinner that nearly made me sick at table. + </p> + <p> + "'I am sure you walk too much,' said Fanny, with one of her knowing looks. + 'Papa, don't you think he ought to ride; it would be much better for him.' + </p> + <p> + "'I do, my dear,' said the dean. 'But then you see he is so hard to be + pleased in a horse. Your old hunting days have spoiled you; but you must + forget Melton and Grantham, and condescend to keep a hack.' + </p> + <p> + "I must have looked confoundedly foolish here, for Fanny never took her + eyes off me, and continued to laugh in her own wicked way. + </p> + <p> + "It was now about the ninth or tenth day of my purgatorial performances; + and certainly if there be any merit in fleshly mortifications, these + religious exercises of mine should stand my part hereafter. A review had + been announced in the Phoenix-park, which Fanny had expressed herself most + desirous to witness; and as the dean would not permit her to go without a + chaperon, I had no means of escape, and promised to escort her. No sooner + had I made this rash pledge, than I hastened to my confidential friend, + Lalouette, and having imparted to him my entire secret, asked him in a + solemn and imposing manner, 'Can I do it?' The old man shook his head + dubiously, looked grave, and muttered at length, 'Mosch depend on de + horse.' 'I know it—I know it—I feel it,' said I eagerly—'then + where are we to find an animal that will carry me peaceably through this + awful day—I care not for his price?' + </p> + <p> + "'Votre affaire ne sera pas trop chere,' said he. + </p> + <p> + "'Why. How do you mean?' said I. + </p> + <p> + "He then proceeded to inform me, that by a singularly fortunate chance, + there took place that day an auction of 'cast horses,' as they are termed, + which had been used in the horse police force; and that from long riding, + and training to stand fire, nothing could be more suitable than one of + these; being both easy to ride, and not given to start at noise. + </p> + <p> + "I could have almost hugged the old fellow for his happy suggestion, and + waited with impatience for three o'clock to come, when we repaired + together to Essex-bridge, at that time the place selected for these sales. + </p> + <p> + "I was at first a little shocked at the look of the animals drawn up; they + were most miserably thin—most of them swelled in the legs—few + without sore backs—and not one eye, on an average, in every three; + but still they were all high steppers, and carried a great tail. 'There's + your affaire,' said the old Frenchman, as a long-legged fiddle-headed + beast was led out; turning out his forelegs so as to endanger the man who + walked beside him. + </p> + <p> + "'Yes, there's blood for you, said Charley Dycer, seeing my eye fixed on + the wretched beast; 'equal to fifteen stone with any foxhounds; safe in + all his paces, and warranted sound; except,' added he, in a whisper, 'a + slight spavin in both hind legs, ring gone, and a little touched in the + wind.' Here the animal gave an approving cough. 'Will any gentleman say + fifty pounds to begin?' But no gentleman did. A hackney coachman, however, + said five, and the sale was opened; the beast trotting up and down nearly + over the bidders at every moment, and plunging on so that it was + impossible to know what was doing. + </p> + <p> + "'Five, ten—fifteen—six pounds—thank you, sir,—guineas'—'seven + pounds,' said I, bidding against myself, not perceiving that I had spoken + last. 'Thank you, Mr. Moriarty,' said Dycer, turning towards an invisible + purchaser supposed to be in the crowd. 'Thank you, sir, you'll not let a + good one go that way.' Every one here turned to find out the very knowing + gentleman; but he could no where be seen. + </p> + <p> + "Dycer resumed, 'Seven ten for Mr. Moriarty. Going for seven ten—a + cruel sacrifice—there's action for you—playful beast.' Here + the devil had stumbled and nearly killed a basket-woman with two children. + </p> + <p> + "'Eight,' said I, with a loud voice. + </p> + <p> + "'Eight pounds, quite absurd,' said Dycer, almost rudely; 'a charger like + that for eight pounds—going for eight pounds—going—nothing + above eight pounds—no reserve, gentlemen, you are aware of that. + They are all as it were, his majesty's stud—no reserve whatever—last + time, eight pounds—gone.' + </p> + <p> + "Amid a very hearty cheer from the mob—God knows why—but a + Dublin mob always cheer—I returned, accompanied by a ragged fellow, + leading my new purchase after me with a bay halter. 'What is the meaning + of those letters,' said I, pointing to a very conspicuous G.R. with sundry + other enigmatical signs, burned upon the animal's hind quarter. + </p> + <p> + "'That's to show he was a po-lice,' said the fellow with a grin; 'and whin + ye ride with ladies, ye must turn the decoy side.' + </p> + <p> + "The auspicious morning at last arrived; and strange to say that the first + waking thought was of the unlucky day that ushered in my yachting + excursion, four years before. Why this was so, I cannot pretend to guess; + there was but little analogy in the circumstances, at least so far as any + thing had then gone. 'How is Marius?' said I to my servant, as he opened + my shutters. Here let me mention that a friend of the Kildare-street club + had suggested this name from the remarkably classic character of my + steed's countenance; his nose, he assured me, was perfectly Roman. + </p> + <p> + "'Marius is doing finely, sir, barring his cough, and the thrifle that + ails his hind legs.' + </p> + <p> + "'He'll carry me quietly, Simon, eh?' + </p> + <p> + "'Quietly. I'll warrant he'll carry you quietly, if that's all.' + </p> + <p> + "Here was comfort. Certainly Simon had lived forty years as pantry boy + with my mother, and knew a great deal about horses. I dressed myself, + therefore, in high spirits; and if my pilot jacket and oil-skin cap in + former days had half persuaded me that I was born for marine achievements, + certainly my cords and tops, that morning, went far to convince me that I + must have once been a very keen sportsman somewhere, without knowing it. + It was a delightful July day that I set out to join my friends, who having + recruited a large party, were to rendezvous at the corner of + Stephen's-green; thither I proceeded in a certain ambling trot, which I + have often observed is a very favourite pace with timid horsemen, and + gentlemen of the medical profession. I was hailed with a most hearty + welcome by a large party as I turned out of Grafton-street, among whom I + perceived several friends of Miss Eversham, and some young dragoon + officers, not of my acquaintance, but who appeared to know Fanny + intimately, and were laughing heartily with her as I rode up. + </p> + <p> + "I don't know if other men have experienced what I am about to mention or + not; but certainly to me there is no more painful sensation than to find + yourself among a number of well-mounted, well-equipped people, while the + animal you yourself bestride seems only fit for the kennel. Every look + that is cast at your unlucky steed—every whispered observation about + you are so many thorns in your flesh, till at last you begin to feel that + your appearance is for very little else than the amusement and mirth of + the assembly; and every time you rise in your stirrups you excite a laugh. + </p> + <p> + "'Where for mercy's sake did you find that creature?' said Fanny, + surveying Marius through her glass. + </p> + <p> + "'Oh, him, eh? Why he is a handsome horse, if in condition—a charger + your know—that's his style.' + </p> + <p> + "'Indeed,' lisped a young lancer, 'I should be devilish sorry to charge or + be charged with him.' And here they all chuckled at this puppy's silly + joke, and I drew up to repress further liberties. + </p> + <p> + "'Is he anything of a fencer?' said a young country gentleman. + </p> + <p> + "'To judge from his near eye, I should say much more of a boxer,' said + another. + </p> + <p> + "Here commenced a running fire of pleasantry at the expense of my poor + steed; which, not content with attacking his physical, extended to his + moral qualities. An old gentleman near me observing, 'that I ought not to + have mounted him at all, seeing he was so damned groggy;' to which I + replied, by insinuating, that if others present were as free from the + influence of ardent spirits, society would not be a sufferer; an + observation that I flatter myself turned the mirth against the old fellow, + for they all laughed for a quarter of an hour after. + </p> + <p> + "Well, at last we set out in a brisk trot, and, placed near Fanny, I + speedily forgot all my annoyances in the prospect of figuring to advantage + before her. When we reached College-green the leaders of the cortege + suddenly drew up, and we soon found that the entire street opposite the + Bank was filled with a dense mob of people, who appeared to be swayed + hither and thither, like some mighty beast, as the individuals composing + it were engaged in close conflict. It was nothing more nor less than one + of those almost weekly rows, which then took place between the students of + the University and the town's-people, and which rarely ended without + serious consequences. The numbers of people pressing on to the scene of + action soon blocked up our retreat, and we found ourselves most unwilling + spectators of the conflict. Political watch-words were loudly shouted by + each party; and at last the students, who appeared to be yielding to + superior numbers, called out for the intervention of the police. The aid + was nearer than they expected; for at the same instant a body of mounted + policemen, whose high helmets rendered them sufficiently conspicuous, were + seen trotting at a sharp pace down Dame-street. On they came with drawn + sabres, led by a well-looking gentlemanlike personage in plain clothes, + who dashed at once into the midst of the fray, issuing his orders, and + pointing out to his followers to secure the ringleaders. Up to this moment + I had been a most patient, and rather amused spectator, of what was doing. + Now, however, my part was to commence, for at the word 'charge,' given in + a harsh, deep voice by the sergeant of the party, Marius, remembering his + ancient instinct, pricked up his ears, cocked his tail, flung up both his + hind legs till they nearly broke the Provost's windows, and plunged into + the thickest of the fray like a devil incarnate. + </p> + <p> + "Self-preservation must be a strong instinct, for I well remember how + little pain it cost me to see the people tumbling and rolling before and + beneath me, while I continued to keep my seat. It was only the moment + before and that immense mass were in man to man encounter; now all the + indignation of both parties seemed turned upon me; brick-bats were loudly + implored, and paving stones begged to throw at my devoted head; the wild + huntsman of the German romance never created half the terror, nor + one-tenth of the mischief that I did in less than fifteen minutes, for the + ill-starred beast continued twining and twisting like a serpent, plunging + and kicking the entire time, and occasionally biting too; all which + accomplishments I afterwards learned, however little in request in civil + life, are highly prized in the horse police. + </p> + <p> + "Every new order of the sergeant was followed in his own fashion by + Marius; who very soon contrived to concentrate in my unhappy person, all + the interest of about fifteen hundred people. + </p> + <p> + "'Secure that scoundrel,' said the magistrate, pointing with his finger + towards me, as I rode over a respectable looking old lady, with a grey + muff. 'Secure him. Cut him down.' + </p> + <p> + "'Ah, devil's luck to him, if ye do,' said a newsmonger with a broken + shin. + </p> + <p> + "On I went, however, and now, as the Fates would have it, instead of + bearing me out of further danger, the confounded brute dashed onwards to + where the magistrate was standing, surrounded by policemen. I thought I + saw him change colour as I came on. I suppose my own looks were none of + the pleasantest, for the worthy man liked them not. Into the midst of them + we plunged, upsetting a corporal, horse and all, and appearing as if bent + upon reaching the alderman. + </p> + <p> + "'Cut him down for heaven's sake. Will nobody shoot him' said he, with a + voice trembling with fear and anger. + </p> + <p> + "At these words a wretch lifted up his sabre, and made a cut at my head. I + stooped suddenly, and throwing myself from the saddle, seized the poor + alderman round the neck, and we both came rolling to the ground together. + So completely was he possessed with the notion that I meant to assassinate + him, that while I was endeavouring to extricate myself from his grasp, he + continued to beg his life in the most heartrending manner. + </p> + <p> + "My story is now soon told. So effectually did they rescue the alderman + from his danger, that they left me insensible; and I only came to myself + some days after by finding myself in the dock in Green-street, charged + with an indictment of nineteen counts; the only word of truth is what lay + in the preamble, for the 'devil inciting' me only, would ever have made me + the owner of that infernal beast, the cause of all my misfortunes. I was + so stupified from my hearing, that I know little of the course of the + proceedings. My friends told me afterwards that I had a narrow escape from + transportation; but for the greatest influence exerted in my behalf, I + should certainly have passed the autumn in the agreeable recreation of + pounding oyster shells or carding wool; and it certainly must have gone + hard with me, for stupified as I was, I remember the sensation in court, + when the alderman made his appearance with a patch over his eye. The + affecting admonition of the little judge—who, when passing sentence + upon me, adverted to the former respectability of my life, and the rank of + my relatives—actually made the galleries weep. + </p> + <p> + "Four months in Newgate, and a fine to the king, then rewarded my taste + for horse-exercise; and it's no wonder if I prefer going on foot. + </p> + <p> + "As to Miss Eversham, the following short note from the dean concluded my + hopes in that quarter. + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + "'Deanery, Wednesday morning. + </p> + <p> + "'Sir,—After the very distressing publicity to which your late + conduct has exposed you—the so open avowal of political opinion, + at variance with those (I will say) of every gentleman—and the + recorded sentence of a judge on the verdict of twelve of your + countrymen—I should hope that you will not feel my present + admonition necessary to inform you, that your visits at my house shall + cease. + </p> + <p> + "'The presents you made my daughter, when under our unfortunate + ignorance of your real character, have been addressed to your hotel, + and I am your most obedient, humble servant, + </p> + <p> + "'Oliver Eversham.' + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + "Here ended my second affair 'par amours;' and I freely confess to you + that if I can only obtain a wife in a sea voyage, or a steeple chase, I am + likely to fulfill one great condition in modern advertising—'as + having no incumbrance, or any objection to travel.'" + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch34" id="ch34"></a>CHAPTER XXXIV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE DUEL. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Mr._O_Leary_Imagines_Himself_Kilt" + id="Mr._O_Leary_Imagines_Himself_Kilt">Mr. O'Leary Imagines Himself Kilt</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch34MrOLearyImaginesHimselfKilt.jpg"> + <img alt="Ch 34 Mr O'Leary Imagines Himself Kilt.jpg (70K)" + src="images/Ch34MrOLearyImaginesHimselfKilt.jpg" + height="762" width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Mr. O'Leary had scarcely concluded the narrative of his second adventure, + when the grey light of the breaking day was seen faintly struggling + through the half-closed curtains, and apprising us of the lateness of the + hour. + </p> + <p> + "I think we shall just have time for one finishing flask of Chambertin," + said O'Leary, as he emptied the bottle into his glass. + </p> + <p> + "I forbid the bans, for one," cried Trevanion. "We have all had wine + enough, considering what we have before us this morning; and besides you + are not aware it is now past four o'clock. So garcon—garcon, there—how + soundly the poor fellow sleeps—let us have some coffee, and then + inquire if a carriage is in waiting at the corner of the Rue Vivienne." + </p> + <p> + The coffee made its appearance, very much, as it seemed, to Mr. O'Leary's + chagrin, who, however, solaced himself by sundry petits verres, to correct + the coldness of the wine he had drank, and at length recovered his good + humour. + </p> + <p> + "Do you know, now," said he, after a short pause, in which we had all kept + silence, "I think what we are about to do, is the very ugliest way of + finishing a pleasant evening. For my own part I like the wind up we used + to have in 'Old Trinity' formerly; when, after wringing off half a dozen + knockers, breaking the lamps at the post-office, and getting out the fire + engines of Werburgh's parish, we beat a few watchmen, and went peaceably + to bed." + </p> + <p> + "Well, not being an Irishman," said Trevanion, "I'm half disposed to think + that even our present purpose is nearly as favourable to life and limb; + but here comes my servant. Well, John, is all arranged, and the carriage + ready?" + </p> + <p> + Having ascertained that the carriage was in waiting, and that the small + box—brass bound and Bramah-locked—reposed within, we paid our + bill and departed. A cold, raw, misty-looking morning, with masses of dark + louring clouds overhead, and channels of dark and murky water beneath, + were the pleasant prospects which met us as we issued forth from the Cafe. + The lamps, which hung suspended midway across the street, (we speak of + some years since,) creaked, with a low and plaintive sound, as they swung + backwards and forwards in the wind. Not a footstep was heard in the street—nothing + but the heavy patter of the rain as it fell ceaselessly upon the broad + pavement. It was, indeed, a most depressing and dispiriting accompaniment + to our intended excursion: and even O'Leary, who seemed to have but slight + sympathy with external influences, felt it, for he spoke but little, and + was scarcely ten minutes in the carriage till he was sound asleep. This + was, I confess, a great relief to me; for, however impressed I was, and to + this hour am, with the many sterling qualitites of my poor friend, yet, I + acknowledge, that this was not precisely the time I should have cared for + their exercise, and would have much preferred the companionship of a + different order of person, even though less long acquainted with him. + Trevanion was, of all others, the most suitable for this purpose; and I + felt no embarrassment in opening my mind freely to him upon subjects + which, but twenty-four hours previous, I could not have imparted to a + brother. + </p> + <p> + There is no such unlocker of the secrets of the heart as the possibly near + approach of death. Indeed, I question if a great deal of the bitterness + the thought of it inspires, does not depend upon that very circumstance. + The reflection that the long-treasured mystery of our lives (and who is + there without some such?) is about to become known, and the secret of our + inmost heart laid bare, is in itself depressing. Not one kind word, nor + one remembrancing adieu, to those we are to leave for ever, can be spoken + or written, without calling up its own story of half-forgotten griefs or, + still worse, at such a moment, of happiness never again to be partaken of. + </p> + <p> + "I cannot explain why," said I to Trevanion, "but although it has + unfortunately been pretty often my lot to have gone out on occasions like + this, both as principal and friend, yet never before did I feel so + completely depressed and low-spirited—and never, in fact, did so + many thoughts of regret arise before me for much of the past, and sorrow + for the chance of abandoning the future"— + </p> + <p> + "I can understand," said Trevanion, interrupting—"I have heard of + your prospect in the Callonby family, and certainly, with such hopes, I + can well conceive how little one would be disposed to brook the slightest + incident which could interfere with their accomplishment; but, now that + your cousin Guy's pretensions in that quarter are at an end, I suppose, + from all I have heard, that there can be no great obstacle to yours." + </p> + <p> + "Guy's pretensions at an end! For heaven's sake, tell me all you know of + this affair—for up to this moment I am in utter ignorance of every + thing regarding his position among the Callonby family." + </p> + <p> + "Unfortunately," replied Trevanion, "I know but little, but still that + little is authentic—Guy himself having imparted the secret to a very + intimate friend of mine. It appears, then, that your cousin, having heard + that the Callonbys had been very civil to you in Ireland, and made all + manner of advances to you—had done so under the impression that you + were the other nephew of Sir Guy, and consequently the heir of a large + fortune—that is, Guy himself—and that they had never + discovered the mistake during the time they resided in Ireland, when they + not only permitted, but even encouraged the closest intimacy between you + and Lady Jane. Is so far true?" + </p> + <p> + "I have long suspected it. Indeed in no other way can I account for the + reception I met with from the Callonbys. But is it possible that Lady Jane + could have lent herself to any thing so unworthy."— + </p> + <p> + "Pray, hear me out," said Trevanion, who was evidently struck by the + despondency of my voice and manner. "Guy having heard of their mistake, + and auguring well to himself from this evidence of their disposition, no + sooner heard of their arrival in Paris, than he came over here and got + introduced to them. From that time he scarcely ever left their house, + except to accompany them into society, or to the theatres. It is said that + with Lady Jane he made no progress. Her manner, at the beginning cold and + formal, became daily more so; until, at last, he was half disposed to + abandon the pursuit—in which, by the by, he has since confessed, + monied views entered more than any affection for the lady—when the + thought struck him to benefit by what he supposed at first to be the great + bar to his success. He suddenly pretended to be only desirous of intimacy + with Lady Jane, from having heard so much of her from you—affected + to be greatly in your confidence—and, in fact, assumed the character + of a friend cognizant of all your feelings and hopes, and ardently + desiring, by every means in his power, to advance your views—" + </p> + <p> + "And was it thus he succeeded," I broke in. + </p> + <p> + "'Twas thus he endeavoured to succeed," said Trevanion. + </p> + <p> + "Ah, with what success I but too well know" said I. "My uncle himself + showed me a letter from Guy, in which he absolutely speaks of the affair + as settled, and talks of Lady Jane as about to be his wife." + </p> + <p> + "That may be all quite true; but a little consideration of Guy's tactics + will show what he intended; for I find that he induced your uncle, by some + representations of his, to make the most handsome proposals, with regard + to the marriage, to the Callonbys; and that, to make the story short, + nothing but the decided refusal of Lady Jane, who at length saw through + his entire game prevented the match." + </p> + <p> + "And then she did refuse him," said I, with ill-repressed exultation. + </p> + <p> + "Of that there can be no doubt; for independently of all the gossip and + quizzing upon the subject, to which Guy was exposed in the coteries, he + made little secret of it himself—openly avowing that he did not + consider a repulse a defeat, and that he resolved to sustain the siege as + vigorously as ever." + </p> + <p> + However interested I felt in all Trevanion was telling me, I could not + help falling into a train of thinking on my first acquaintance with the + Callonbys. There are, perhaps, but few things more humiliating than the + knowledge that any attention or consideration we have met with, has been + paid us in mistake for another; and in the very proportion that they were + prized before, are they detested when the truth is known to us. + </p> + <p> + To all the depressing influences these thoughts suggested, came the + healing balm that Lady Jane was true to me—that she, at least, + however others might be biassed by worldly considerations—that she + cared for me —for myself alone. My reader (alas! for my character + for judgment) knows upon how little I founded the conviction; but I have + often, in these Confessions, avowed my failing, par excellence, to be a + great taste for self-deception; and here was a capital occasion for its + indulgence. + </p> + <p> + "We shall have abundant time to discuss this later on," said Trevanion, + laying his hand upon my shoulder to rouse my wandering attention—"for + now, I perceive, we have only eight minutes to spare." + </p> + <p> + As he spoke, a dragoon officer, in an undress, rode up to the window of + the carriage, and looking steadily at our party for a few seconds, asked + if we were "Messieurs les Anglais;" and, almost without waiting for reply, + added, "You had better not go any farther in your carriage, for the next + turn of the road will bring you in sight of the village." + </p> + <p> + We accordingly stopped the driver, and having (with) some difficulty + aroused O'Leary, got out upon the road. The militaire here gave his horse + to a groom, and proceeded to guide us through a corn-field by a narrow + path, with whose windings and crossings he appeared quite conversant. We + at length reached the brow of a little hill, from which an extended view + of the country lay before us, showing the Seine winding its tranquil + course between the richly tilled fields, dotted with many a pretty + cottage. Turning abruptly from this point, our guide led us, by a narrow + and steep path, into a little glen, planted with poplar and willows. A + small stream ran through this, and by the noise we soon detected that a + mill was not far distant, which another turning brought us at once in + front of. + </p> + <p> + And here I cannot help dwelling upon the "tableau" which met our view. In + the porch of the little rural mill sat two gentlemen, one of whom I + immediately recognised as the person who had waited upon me, and the other + I rightly conjectured to be my adversary. Before them stood a small table, + covered with a spotless napkin, upon which a breakfast equipage was spread—a + most inviting melon and a long, slender-necked bottle, reposing in a + little ice-pail, forming part of the "materiel." My opponent was cooly + enjoying his cigar—a half-finished cup of coffee lay beside him—his + friend was occupied in examining the caps of the duelling pistols, which + were placed upon a chair. No sooner had we turned the angle which brought + us in view, than they both rose, and, taking off their hats with much + courtesy, bade us good morning. + </p> + <p> + "May I offer you a cup of coffee," said Monsieur Derigny to me, as I came + up, at the same time filling it out, and pushing over a little flask of + Cogniac towards me. + </p> + <p> + A look from Trevanion decided my acceptance of the proferred civility, and + I seated myself in the chair beside the baron. Trevanion meanwhile had + engaged my adversary in conversation along with the stranger, who had been + our guide, leaving O'Leary alone unoccupied, which, however, he did not + long remain; for, although uninvited by the others, he seized a knife and + fork, and commenced a vigorous attack upon a partridge pie near him; and, + with equal absence of ceremony, uncorked the champaign and filled out a + foaming goblet, nearly one-third of the whole bottle, adding— + </p> + <p> + "I think, Mr. Lorrequer, there's nothing like showing them that we are + just as cool and unconcerned as themselves." + </p> + <p> + If I might judge from the looks of the party, a happier mode of convincing + them of our "free-and-easy" feelings could not possibly have been + discovered. From any mortification this proceeding might have caused me, I + was speedily relieved by Trevanion calling O'Leary to one side, while he + explained to him that he must nominally act as second on the ground, as + Trevanion, being a resident in Paris, might become liable to a + prosecution, should any thing serious arise, while O'Leary, as a mere + passer through, could cross the frontier into Germany, and avoid all + trouble. + </p> + <p> + O'Leary at once acceded—perhaps the more readily because he expected + to be allowed to return to his breakfast—but in this he soon found + himself mistaken, for the whole party now rose, and preceded by the baron, + followed the course of the little stream. + </p> + <p> + After about five minutes' walking, we found ourselves at the outlet of the + glen, which was formed by a large stone quarry, making a species of + amphitheatre, with lofty walls of rugged granite, rising thirty or forty + feet on either side of us. The ground was smooth and level as a boarded + floor, and certainly to amateurs in these sort of matters, presented a + most perfect spot for a "meeting." + </p> + <p> + The stranger who had just joined us, could not help remarking our looks of + satisfaction at the choice of ground, and observed to me— + </p> + <p> + "This is not the first affair that this little spot has witnessed; and the + moulinet of St. Cloud is, I think, the very best 'meet' about Paris." + </p> + <p> + Trevanion who, during these few minutes, had been engaged with Derigny, + now drew me aside. + </p> + <p> + "Well, Lorrequer, have you any recollection now of having seen your + opponent before? or can you make a guess at the source of all this?" + </p> + <p> + "Never till this instant," said I, "have I beheld him," as I looked + towards the tall, stoutly-built figure of my adversary, who was very + leisurely detaching a cordon from his tightly fitting frock, doubtless to + prevent its attracting my aim. + </p> + <p> + "Well, never mind, I shall manage every thing properly. What can you do + with the small sword, for they have rapiers at the mill?" + </p> + <p> + "Nothing whatever; I have not fenced since I was a boy." + </p> + <p> + "N'importe—then we'll fight at a barriere. I know they're not + prepared for that from Englishmen; so just step on one side now, and leave + me to talk it over." + </p> + <p> + As the limited nature of the ground did not permit me to retire to a + distance, I became involuntarily aware of a dialogue, which even the + seriousness of the moment could scarcely keep me from laughing at + outright. + </p> + <p> + It was necessary, for the sake of avoiding any possible legal difficulty + in the result, that O'Leary should give his assent to every step of the + arrangement; and being totally ignorant of French, Trevanion had not only + to translate for him, but also to render in reply O'Leary's own comments + or objections to the propositions of the others. + </p> + <p> + "Then it is agreed—we fight at a barriere," said the Captain + Derigny. + </p> + <p> + "What's that, Trevanion?" + </p> + <p> + "We have agreed to place them at a barriere," replied Trevanion. + </p> + <p> + "That's strange," muttered O'Leary to himself, who, knowing that the word + meant a "turnpike," never supposed it had any other signification. + </p> + <p> + "Vingt quatre pas, n'est pas," said Derigny. + </p> + <p> + "Too far," interposed Trevanion. + </p> + <p> + "What does he say now?" asked O'Leary. + </p> + <p> + "Twenty-four paces for the distance." + </p> + <p> + "Twenty-four of my teeth he means," said O'Leary, snapping his fingers. + "What does he think of the length of Sackville-street? Ask him that, will + ye?" + </p> + <p> + "What says Monsieur?" said the Frenchman. + </p> + <p> + "He thinks the distance much too great." + </p> + <p> + "He may be mistaken," said the Captain, half sneeringly. "My friend is 'de + la premiere force.'" + </p> + <p> + "That must be something impudent, from your looks, Mr. Trevanion. Isn't it + a thousand pities I can't speak French?" + </p> + <p> + "What say you, then, to twelve paces? Fire together, and two shots each, + if the first fire be inconclusive," said Trevanion. + </p> + <p> + "And if necessary," added the Frenchman, carelessly, "conclude with these"—touching + the swords with his foot as he spoke. + </p> + <p> + "The choice of the weapon lies with us, I opine," replied Trevanion. "We + have already named pistols, and by them we shall decide this matter." + </p> + <p> + It was at length, after innumerable objections, agreed upon that we should + be placed back to back, and at a word given each walk forward to a certain + distance marked out by a stone, where we were to halt, and at the signal, + "une," "deux," turn round and fire. + </p> + <p> + This, which is essentially a French invention in duelling, was perfectly + new to me, but by no means to Trevanion, who was fully aware of the + immense consequence of not giving even a momentary opportunity for aim to + my antagonist; and in this mode of firing the most practised and deadly + shot is liable to err—particularly if the signal be given quickly. + </p> + <p> + While Trevanion and the Captain were measuring out the ground, a little + circumstance which was enacted near me was certainly not over calculated + to strengthen my nerve. The stranger who had led us to the ground had + begun to examine the pistols, and finding that one of them was loaded, + turned towards my adversary, saying, "De Haultpenne, you have forgotten to + draw the charge. Come let us see what vein you are in." At the same time, + drawing off his large cavalry glove, he handed the pistol to his friend. + </p> + <p> + "A double Napoleon you don't hit the thumb." + </p> + <p> + "Done," said the other, adjusting the weapon in his hand. + </p> + <p> + The action was scarcely performed, when the bettor flung the glove into + the air with all his force. My opponent raised his pistol, waited for an + instant, till the glove, having attained its greatest height, turned to + fall again. Then click went the trigger—the glove turned round and + round half-a-dozen times, and fell about twenty yards off, and the thumb + was found cut clearly off at the juncture with the hand. + </p> + <p> + This—which did not occupy half as long as I have spent in recounting + it —was certainly a pleasant introduction to standing at fifteen + yards from the principal actor; and I should doubtless have felt it in all + its force, had not my attention been drawn off by the ludicrous expression + of grief in O'Leary's countenance, who evidently regarded me as already + defunct. + </p> + <p> + "Now, Lorrequer, we are ready," said Trevanion, coming forward; and then, + lowering his voice, added, "All is in your favour; I have won the 'word,' + which I shall give the moment you halt. So turn and fire at once: be sure + not to go too far round in the turn—that is the invariable error in + this mode of firing; only no hurry—be calm." + </p> + <p> + "Now, Messieurs," said Derigny, as he approached with his friend leaning + upon his arm, and placed him in the spot allotted to him. Trevanion then + took my arm, and placed me back to back to my antagonist. As I took up my + ground, it so chanced that my adversary's spur slightly grazed me, upon + which he immediately turned round, and, with the most engaging smile, + begged a "thousand pardons," and hoped I was not hurt. + </p> + <p> + O'Leary, who saw the incident, and guessed the action aright, called out: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, the cold-blooded villain; the devil a chance for you, Mr. Lorrequer." + </p> + <p> + "Messieurs, your pistols," said Le Capitaine la Garde, who, as he handed + the weapons, and repeated once more the conditions of the combat, gave the + word to march. + </p> + <p> + I now walked slowly forward to the place marked out by the stone; but it + seemed that I must have been in advance of my opponent, for I remember + some seconds elapsed before Trevanion coughed slightly, and then with a + clear full voice called out "Une," "Deux." I had scarcely turned myself + half round, when my right arm was suddenly lifted up, as if by a galvanic + shock. My pistol jerked upwards, and exploded the same moment, and then + dropped powerlessly from my hand, which I now felt was covered with warm + blood from a wound near the elbow. From the acute but momentary pang this + gave me, my attention was soon called off; for scarcely had my arm been + struck, when a loud clattering noise to my left induced me to turn, and + then, to my astonishment, I saw my friend O'Leary about twelve feet from + the ground, hanging on by some ash twigs that grew from the clefts of the + granite. Fragments of broken rock were falling around him, and his own + position momentarily threatened a downfall. He was screaming with all his + might; but what he said was entirely lost in the shouts of laughter of + Trevanion and the Frenchmen, who could scarcely stand with the immoderate + exuberance of their mirth. + </p> + <p> + I had not time to run to his aid—which, although wounded, I should + have done—when the branch he clung to, slowly yielded with his + weight, and the round, plump figure of my poor friend rolled over the + little cleft of rock, and, after a few faint struggles, came tumbling + heavily down, and at last lay peaceably in the deep heather at the bottom—his + cries the whole time being loud enough to rise even above the vociferous + laughter of the others. + </p> + <p> + I now ran forward, as did Trevanion, when O'Leary, turning his eyes + towards me, said, in the most piteous manner— + </p> + <p> + "Mr. Lorrequer, I forgive you—here is my hand—bad luck to + their French way of fighting, that's all—it's only good for killing + one's friend. I thought I was safe up there, come what might." + </p> + <p> + "My dear O'Leary," said I, in an agony, which prevented my minding the + laughing faces around me, "surely you don't mean to say that I have + wounded you?" + </p> + <p> + "No, dear, not wounded, only killed me outright—through the brain it + must be, from the torture I'm suffering." + </p> + <p> + The shout with which this speech was received, sufficiently aroused me; + while Trevanion, with a voice nearly choked with laughter, said— + </p> + <p> + "Why, Lorrequer, did you not see that your pistol, on being struck, threw + your ball high up on the quarry; fortunately, however, about a foot and a + half above Mr. O'Leary's head, whose most serious wounds are his scratched + hands and bruised bones from his tumble." + </p> + <p> + This explanation, which was perfectly satisfactory to me, was by no means + so consoling to poor O'Leary, who lay quite unconscious to all around, + moaning in the most melancholy manner. Some of the blood, which continued + to flow fast from my wound, having dropped upon his face, roused him a + little—but only to increase his lamentation for his own destiny, + which he believed was fast accomplishing. + </p> + <p> + "Through the skull—clean through the skull—and preserving my + senses to the last! Mr. Lorrequer, stoop down—it is a dying man asks + you—don't refuse me a last request. There's neither luck nor grace, + honor nor glory in such a way of fighting—so just promise me you'll + shoot that grinning baboon there, when he's going off the ground, since + it's the fashion to fire at a man with his back to you. Bring him down, + and I'll die easy." + </p> + <p> + And with these words he closed his eyes, and straightened out his legs—stretched + his arm at either side, and arranged himself as much corpse fashion as the + circumstances of the ground would permit—while I now freely + participated in the mirth of the others, which, loud and boisterous as it + was, never reached the ears of O'Leary. + </p> + <p> + My arm had now become so painful, that I was obliged to ask Trevanion to + assist me in getting off my coat. The surprise of the Frenchmen on + learning that I was wounded was very considerable—O'Leary's + catastrophe having exclusively engaged all attention. My arm was now + examined, when it was discovered that the ball had passed through from one + side to the other, without apparently touching the bone; the bullet and + the portion of my coat carried in by it both lay in my sleeve. The only + serious consequence to be apprehended was the wound of the blood-vessel, + which continued to pour forth blood unceasingly, and I was just surgeon + enough to guess that an artery had been cut. + </p> + <p> + Trevanion bound his handkerchief tightly across the wound, and assisted me + to the high road, which, so sudden was the loss of blood, I reached with + difficulty. During all these proceedings, nothing could be possibly more + kind and considerate than the conduct of our opponents. All the farouche + and swaggering air which they had deemed the "rigueur" before, at once + fled, and in its place we found the most gentlemanlike attention and true + politeness. + </p> + <p> + As soon as I was enabled to speak upon the matter, I begged Trevanion to + look to poor O'Leary, who still lay upon the ground in a state of perfect + unconsciousness. Captain Derigny, on hearing my wish, at once returned to + the quarry, and, with the greatest difficulty, persuaded my friend to rise + and endeavour to walk, which at last he did attempt, calling him to bear + witness that it perhaps was the only case on record where a man with a + bullet in his brain had made such an exertion. + </p> + <p> + With a view to my comfort and quiet, they put him into the cab of Le + Baron; and, having undertaken to send Dupuytrien to me immediately on my + reaching Paris, took their leave, and Trevanion and I set out homeward. + </p> + <p> + Not all my exhaustion and debility—nor even the acute pain I was + suffering, could prevent my laughing at O'Leary's adventure; and it + required all Trevanion's prudence to prevent my indulging too far in my + recollection of it. + </p> + <p> + When we reached Meurice's, I found Dupuytrien in waiting, who immediately + pronounced the main artery of the limb as wounded; and almost as + instantaneously proceeded to pass a ligature round it. This painful + business being concluded, I was placed upon a sofa, and being plentifully + supplied with lemonade, and enjoined to keep quiet, left to my own + meditations, such as they were, till evening—Trevanion having taken + upon him to apologize for our absence at Mrs. Bingham's dejeune, and + O'Leary being fast asleep in his own apartments. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch35" id="ch35"></a>CHAPTER XXXV. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + EARLY RECOLLECTIONS—A FIRST LOVE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + I know of no sensations so very nearly alike, as those felt on awaking + after very sudden and profuse loss of blood, and those resulting from a + large dose of opium. The dizziness, the confusion, and the abstraction at + first, gradually yielding, as the senses became clearer, to a vague and + indistinct consciousness; then the strange mistiness, in which fact and + fiction are wrapped up—the confounding of persons, and places, and + times, not so as to embarrass and annoy—for the very debility you + feel subdues all irritation—but rather to present a panoramic + picture of odd and incongruous events more pleasing than otherwise. + </p> + <p> + Of the circumstances by which I was thus brought to a sick couch, I had + not even the most vague recollection—the faces and the dress of all + those I had lately seen were vividly before me; but how, and for what + purpose I knew not. Something in their kindness and attention had left an + agreeable impression upon my mind, and without being able, or even + attempting to trace it, I felt happy in the thought. While thus the "hour + before" was dim and indistinct, the events of years past were vividly and + brightly pictured before me; and strange, too, the more remote the period, + the more did it seem palpable and present to my imagination. For so it is, + there is in memory a species of mental long-sightedness, which, though + blind to the object close beside you, can reach the blue mountains and the + starry skies, which lie full many a league away. Is this a malady? or is + it rather a providential gift to alleviate the tedious hours of the sick + bed, and cheer the lonely sufferer, whose thoughts are his only realm? + </p> + <p> + My school-boy days, in all their holiday excitement; the bank where I had + culled the earliest cowslips of the year; the clear but rapid stream, + where days long I have watched the speckled trout, as they swam peacefully + beneath, or shook their bright fins in the gay sunshine; the gorgeous + dragon-fly that played above the water, and dipped his bright wings in its + ripple—they were all before me. And then came the thought of school + itself, with its little world of boyish cares and emulations; the early + imbibed passion for success; the ardent longing for superiority; the high + and swelling feeling of the heart, as home drew near, to think that I had + gained the wished for prize—the object of many an hour's toil—the + thought of many a long night's dream; my father's smile; my mother's kiss! + Oh! what a very world of tender memory that one thought suggests; for what + are all our later successes in life—how bright soever our fortune be—compared + with the early triumphs of our infancy? Where, among the jealous rivalry + of some, the cold and half-wrung praise of others, the selfish and + unsympathising regard of all, shall we find any thing to repay us for the + swelling extacy of our young hearts, as those who have cradled and loved + us grow proud in our successes? For myself, a life that has failed in + every prestige of those that prophesied favourably—years that have + followed on each other only to blight the promise that kind and + well-wishing friends foretold—leave but little to dwell upon, that + can be reckoned as success. And yet, some moments I have had, which half + seemed to realize my early dream of ambition, and rouse my spirit within + me; but what were they all compared to my boyish glories? what the passing + excitement one's own heart inspires in the lonely and selfish solitude, + when compared with that little world of sympathy and love our early home + teemed with, as, proud in some trifling distinction, we fell into a + mother's arms, and heard our father's "God bless you, boy?" No, no; the + world has no requital for this. It is like the bright day-spring, which, + as its glories gild the east, display before us a whole world of beauty + and promise—blighted hopes have not withered, false friendships have + not scathed, cold, selfish interest has not yet hardened our hearts, or + dried up our affections, and we are indeed happy; but equally like the + burst of morning is it fleeting and short-lived; and equally so, too, does + it pass away, never, never to return. + </p> + <p> + From thoughts like these my mind wandered on to more advanced years, when, + emerging from very boyhood, I half believed myself a man, and was fully + convinced I was in love. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps, after all, for the time it lasted—ten days, I think—it + was the most sincere passion I ever felt. I had been spending some weeks + at a small watering-place in Wales with some relatives of my mother. There + were, as might be supposed, but few "distractions" in such a place, save + the scenery, and an occasional day's fishing in the little river of + Dolgelly, which ran near. In all these little rambles which the younger + portion of the family made together, frequent mention was ever being made + of a visit from a very dear cousin, and to which all looked forward with + the greatest eagerness—the elder ones of the party with a certain + air of quiet pleasure, as though they knew more than they said, and the + younger with all the childish exuberance of youthful delight. Clara + Mourtray seemed to be, from all I was hourly hearing, the very paragon and + pattern of every thing. If any one was praised for beauty, Clara was + immediately pronounced much prettier—did any one sing, Clara's voice + and taste were far superior. In our homeward walk, should the shadows of + the dark hills fall with a picturesque effect upon the blue lake, some one + was sure to say, "Oh! how Clara would like to sketch that." In short, + there was no charm nor accomplishment ever the gift of woman, that Clara + did not possess; or, what amounted pretty much to the same thing, that my + relatives did not implicitly give her credit for. The constantly recurring + praises of the same person affect us always differently as we go on in + life. In youth the prevailing sentiment is an ardent desire to see the + prodigy of whom we have heard so much—in after years, heartily to + detest what hourly hurts our self-love by comparisons. We would take any + steps to avoid meeting what we have inwardly decreed to be a "bore." The + former was my course; and though my curiosity was certainly very great, I + had made up my mind to as great a disappointment, and half wished for the + longed arrival as a means of criticising what they could see no fault in. + </p> + <p> + The wished-for evening at length came, and we all set out upon a walk to + meet the carriage which was to bring the bien aime Clara among us. We had + not walked above a mile when the eager eye of the foremost detected a + cloud of dust upon the road at some distance; and, after a few minutes + more, four posters were seen coming along at a tremendous rate. The next + moment she was making the tour of about a dozen uncles, aunts, cousins, + and cousines, none of whom, it appeared to me, felt any peculiar desire to + surrender the hearty embrace to the next of kin in succession. At last she + came to me, when, perhaps, in the confusion of the moment, not exactly + remembering whether or not she had seen me before, she stood for a moment + silent—a deep blush mantling her lovely cheek—masses of waving + brown hair disordered and floating upon her shoulders—her large and + liquid blue eyes beaming upon me. One look was enough. I was deeply—irretrievably + in love. + </p> + <p> + "Our cousin Harry—Harry Lorrequer—wild Harry, as we used to + call him, Clara," said one of the girls introducing me. + </p> + <p> + She held out her hand, and said something with a smile. What, I know not—nor + can I tell how I replied; but something absurd it must have been, for they + all laughed heartily, and the worthy papa himself tapped my shoulder + jestingly, adding, + </p> + <p> + "Never mind, Harry—you will do better one day, or I am much mistaken + in you." + </p> + <p> + Whether I was conscious that I had behaved foolishly or not, I cannot well + say; but the whole of that night I thought over plans innumerable how I + should succeed in putting myself forward before "Cousin Clara," and + vindicating myself against any imputation of schoolboy mannerisms that my + first appearance might have caused. + </p> + <p> + The next day we remained at home. Clara was too much fatigued to walk out, + and none of us would leave her. What a day of happiness that was! I knew + something of music, and could sing a second. Clara was delighted at this, + for the others had not cultivated singing much. We therefore spent the + whole morning in this way. Then she produced her sketch-book, and I + brought out mine, and we had a mutual interchange of prisoners. What + cutting out of leaves and detaching of rice-paper landscapes! The she came + out upon the lawn to see my pony leap, and promised to ride him the + following day. She patted the greyhounds, and said Gipsy, which was mine, + was the prettiest. In a word, before night fell Clara had won my heart in + its every fibre, and I went to my room the very happiest of mortals. + </p> + <p> + I need not chronicle my next three days—to me the most glorious + "trois jours" of my life. Clara had evidently singled me out and preferred + me to all the rest. It was beside me she rode—upon my arm she leaned + in walking—and, to comble me with delight unutterable, I overheard + her say to my uncle, "Oh, I doat upon poor Harry! And it is so pleasant, + for I'm sure Mortimer will be so jealous." + </p> + <p> + "And who is Mortimer," thought I; "he is a new character in the piece, of + whom we have seen nothing." + </p> + <p> + I was not long in doubt upon this head, for that very day, at dinner, the + identical Mortimer presented himself. He was a fine, dashing-looking, + soldier-like fellow, of about thirty-five, and with a heavy moustache, and + a bronzed cheek—rather grave in his manner, but still perfectly + good-natured, and when he smiled showing a most handsome set of regular + teeth. Clara seemed less pleased (I thought) at his coming than the + others, and took pleasure in tormenting him by a thousand pettish and + frivolous ways, which I was sorry for, as I thought he did not like it; + and used to look half chidingly at her from time to time, but without any + effect, for she just went on as before, and generally ended by taking my + arm and saying, "Come away, Harry; you always are kind, and never look + sulky. I can agree with you." These were delightful words for me to listen + to, but I could not hear them without feeling for him, who evidently was + pained by Clara's avowed preference for me; and whose years—for I + thought thirty-five at that time a little verging upon the patriarchal—entitled + him to more respect. + </p> + <p> + "Well," thought I, one evening, as this game had been carried rather + farther than usual, "I hope she is content now, for certainly Mortimer is + jealous;" and the result proved it, for the whole of the following day he + absented himself, and never came back till late in the evening. He had + been, I found, from a chance observation I overheard, at the bishop's + palace, and the bishop himself, I learned, was to breakfast with us in the + morning. + </p> + <p> + "Harry, I have a commission for you," said Clara. "You must get up very + early to-morrow, and climb the Cader mountain, and bring me a grand + bouquet of the blue and purple heath that I liked so much the last time I + was there. Mind very early, for I intend to surprise the bishop to-morrow + with my taste in a nosegay." + </p> + <p> + The sun had scarcely risen as I sprang from my bed, and started upon my + errand. Oh! the glorious beauty of that morning's walk. As I climbed the + mountain, the deep mists lay upon all around, and except the path I was + treading, nothing was visible; but before I reached the top, the heavy + masses of vapour were yielding to the influence of the sun; and as they + rolled from the valleys up the mountain sides, were every instant opening + new glens and ravines beneath me—bright in all their verdure, and + speckled with sheep, whose tingling bells reached me even where I stood. + </p> + <p> + I counted above twenty lakes at different levels, below me; some + brilliant, and shining like polished mirrors; others not less beautiful, + dark and solemn with some mighty mountain shadow. As I looked landward, + the mountains reared their huge crests, one above the other, to the + farthest any eye could reach. Towards the opposite side, the calm and + tranquil sea lay beneath me, bathed in the yellow gold of a rising sun; a + few ships were peaceably lying at anchor in the bay; and the only thing in + motion was a row-boat, the heavy monotonous stroke of whose oars rose in + the stillness of the morning air. Not a single habitation of man could I + descry, nor any vestige of a human being, except that mass of something + upon the rock far down beneath be one, and I think it is, for I see the + sheep-dog ever returning again and again to the same spot. + </p> + <p> + My bouquet was gathered; the gentian of the Alps, which is found here, + also contributing its evidence to show where I had been to seek it, and I + turned home. + </p> + <p> + The family were at breakfast as I entered; at least so the servants said, + for I only remembered then that the bishop was our guest, and that I could + not present myself without some slight attention to my dress. I hastened + to my room, and scarcely had I finished, when one of my cousins, a little + girl of eight years, came to the door and said, + </p> + <p> + "Harry, come down; Clara wants you." + </p> + <p> + I rushed down stairs, and as I entered the breakfast parlour, stood still + with surprise. The ladies were all dressed in white, and even my little + cousin wore a gala costume that amazed me. + </p> + <p> + "My bouquet, Harry; I hope you have not forgotten it," said Clara, as I + approached. + </p> + <p> + I presented it at once, when she gaily and coquettishly held out her hand + for me to kiss. This I did, my blood rushing to my face and temples the + while, and almost depriving me of consciousness. + </p> + <p> + "Well, Clara, I am surprised at you," said Mortimer. "How can you treat + the poor boy so?" + </p> + <p> + I grew deadly pale at these words, and, turning round, looked at the + speaker full in the face. Poor fellow, thought I, he is jealous, and I am + really grieved for him; and turned again to Clara. + </p> + <p> + "Here it is—oh! how handsome, papa," said one of the younger + children, running eagerly to the window, as a very pretty open carriage + with four horses drew up before the house. + </p> + <p> + "The bishop has taste," I murmured to myself, scarcely deigning to give a + second look at the equipage. + </p> + <p> + Clara now left the room, but speedily returned—her dress changed, + and shawled as if for a walk. What could all this mean?—and the + whispering, too, what is all that?—and why are they all so sad?—Clara + has been weeping. + </p> + <p> + "God bless you, my child—good by," said my aunt, as she folded her + in her arms for the third time. + </p> + <p> + "Good by, good by," I heard on every side. At length, approaching me, + Clara took my hand and said— + </p> + <p> + "My poor Harry, so we are going to part. I am going to Italy." + </p> + <p> + "To Italy, Clara? Oh! no—say no. Italy! I shall never see you + again." + </p> + <p> + "Won't you wear this ring for me, Harry? It is an old favourite of yours—and + when we meet again"— + </p> + <p> + "Oh! dearest Clara," I said, "do not speak thus." + </p> + <p> + "Good by, my poor boy, good by," said Clara hurriedly; and, rushing out of + the room, she was lifted by Mortimer into the carriage, who, immediately + jumping in after her, the whip cracked, the horses clattered, and all was + out of sight in a second. + </p> + <p> + "Why is she gone with him?" said I, reproachfully, turning towards my + aunt. + </p> + <p> + "Why, my dear, a very sufficient reason. She was married this morning." + </p> + <p> + This was my first love. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch36" id="ch36"></a>CHAPTER XXXVI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + WISE RESOLVES. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Musing over this boyish adventure, I fell into a deep slumber, and on + awakening it took me some minutes before I could recall my senses + sufficiently to know where I was. The whole face of things in my room was + completely changed. Flowers had been put in the china vases upon the + tables—two handsome lamps, shaded with gauzes, stood upon the + consoles—illustrated books, prints, and caricatures, were scattered + about. A piano-forte had also, by some witchcraft, insinuated itself into + a recess near the sofa—a handsome little tea service, of old Dresden + china, graced a marquetry table—and a little picquet table stood + most invitingly beside the fire. I had scarcely time to turn my eyes from + one to the other of these new occupants, when I heard the handle of my + door gently turn, as if by some cautious hand, and immediately closed my + eyes and feigned sleep. Through my half-shut lids I perceived the door + opened. After a pause of about a second, the skirt of a white muslin dress + appeared—then a pretty foot stole a little farther—and at last + the slight and graceful figure of Emily Bingham advanced noiselessly into + the room. Fear had rendered her deadly pale; but the effect of her rich + brown hair, braided plainly on either side of her cheek, suited so well + the character of her features, I thought her far handsomer than ever. She + came forward towards the table, and I now could perceive that she had + something in her hand resembling a letter. This she placed near my hand + —so near as almost to touch it. She leaned over me—I felt her + breath upon my brow, but never moved. At this instant, a tress of her + hair, becoming unfastened, fell over upon my face. She started—the + motion threw me off my guard, and I looked up. She gave a faint, scarce + audible shriek, and sank into the chair beside me. Recovering, however, + upon the instant, she grasped the letter she had just laid down, and, + having crushed it between her fingers, threw it into the fire. This done—as + if the effort had been too much for her strength—she again fell back + upon her seat, and looked so pale I almost thought she had fainted. + </p> + <p> + Before I had time to speak, she rose once more; and now her face was + bathed in blushes, her eyes swam with rising tears, and her lips trembled + with emotion as she spoke. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, what will you—what can you think of this? If you + but knew—;" and here she faltered and again grew pale, while I with + difficulty rising from the sofa, took her hand, and led her to the chair + beside it. + </p> + <p> + "And may I not know?" said I; "may I not know, my dear"—I am not + sure I did not say dearest—"Miss Bingham, when, perhaps, the + knowledge might make me the happiest of mortals?" + </p> + <p> + This was a pretty plunge as a sequel to my late resolutions. She hid her + face between her hands, and sobbed for some seconds. + </p> + <p> + "At least," said I, "as that letter was destined for me but a few moments + since, I trust that you will let me hear its contents." + </p> + <p> + "Oh no—not now—not now," said she entreatingly; and, rising at + the same time, she turned to leave the room. I still held her hand, and + pressed it within mine. I thought she returned the pressure. I leaned + forward to catch her eye, when the door was opened hastily, and a most + extraordinary figure presented itself. + </p> + <p> + It was a short, fat man, with a pair of enormous moustaches, of a fiery + red; huge bushy whiskers of the same colour; a blue frock covered with + braiding, and decorated with several crosses and ribbons; tight pantaloons + and Hessian boots, with long brass spurs. He held a large gold-headed cane + in his hand, and looked about with an expression of very equivocal + drollery, mingled with fear. + </p> + <p> + "May I ask, sir," said I, as this individual closed the door behind him, + "may I ask the reason for this intrusion?" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, upon my conscience, I'll do—I'm sure to pass muster now," said + the well-known voice of Mr. O'Leary, whose pleasant features began to + dilate amid the forest of red hair he was disguised in. "But I see you are + engaged," said he, with a sly look at Miss Bingham, whom he had not yet + recognised; "so I must contrive to hide myself elsewhere, I suppose." + </p> + <p> + "It is Miss Bingham," said I, "who has been kind enough to come here with + her maid, to bring me some flowers. Pray present my respectful compliments + to Mrs. Bingham, and say how deeply I feel her most kind attention." + </p> + <p> + Emily rose at the instant, and recovering her self-possession at once, + said— + </p> + <p> + "You forget, Mr. Lorrequer, it is a secret from whom the flowers came; at + least mamma hoped to place them in your vases without you knowing. So, + pray, don't speak of it—and I'm sure Mr. O'Leary will not tell." + </p> + <p> + If Mr. O'Leary heard one word of this artful speech, I know not, but he + certainly paid no attention to it, nor the speaker, who left the room + without his appearing aware of it. + </p> + <p> + "Now that she is gone—for which heaven be praised," said I to + myself; "let me see what this fellow can mean." + </p> + <p> + As I turned from the door, I could scarcely avoid laughing aloud at the + figure before me. He stood opposite a large mirror, his hat on one side of + his head, one arm in his breast, and the other extended, leaning upon his + stick; a look of as much ferocity as such features could accomplish had + been assumed, and his whole attitude was a kind of caricature of a + melo-dramatic hero in a German drama. + </p> + <p> + "Why, O'Leary, what is all this?" + </p> + <p> + "Hush, hush," said he, in a terrified whisper—"never mention that + name again, till we are over the frontier." + </p> + <p> + "But, man, explain—what do you mean?" + </p> + <p> + "Can't you guess," said he drily. + </p> + <p> + "Impossible; unless the affair at the saloon has induced you to take this + disguise, I cannot conceive the reason." + </p> + <p> + "Nothing farther from it, my dear friend; much worse than that." + </p> + <p> + "Out with it, then, at once." + </p> + <p> + "She's come—she's here—in this very house—No. 29, above + the entre sol." + </p> + <p> + "Who is here, in No. 29, above the entre sol?" + </p> + <p> + "Who, but Mrs. O'Leary herself. I was near saying bad luck to her." + </p> + <p> + "And does she know you are here?" + </p> + <p> + "That is what I can't exactly say," said he, "but she has had the Livre + des Voyageurs brought up to her room, and has been making rather + unpleasant inquiries for the proprietor of certain hieroglyphics beginning + with O, which have given me great alarm—the more, as all the waiters + have been sent for in turn, and subjected to long examination by her. So I + have lost no time, but, under the auspices of your friend Trevanion, have + become the fascinating figure you find me, and am now Compte O'Lieuki, a + Pole of noble family, banished by the Russian government, with a father in + Siberia, and all that; and I hope, by the end of the week, to be able to + cheat at ecarte, and deceive the very police itself." + </p> + <p> + The idea of O'Leary's assuming such a metamorphosis was too absurd not to + throw me into a hearty fit of laughing, in which the worthy emigre + indulged also. + </p> + <p> + "But why not leave this at once," said I, "if you are so much in dread of + a recognition?" + </p> + <p> + "You forget the trial," added O'Leary, "I must be here on the 18th or all + my bail is forfeited." + </p> + <p> + "True—I had forgot that. Well, now, your plans?"— + </p> + <p> + "Simply to keep very quiet here till the affair of the tribunal is over, + and then quit France at once. Meanwhile, Trevanion thinks that we may, by + a bold stratagem, send Mrs. O'Leary off on a wrong scent, and has + requested Mrs. Bingham to contrive to make her acquaintance, and ask her + to tea in her room, when she will see me, en Polonais, at a distance, you + know—hear something of my melancholy destiny from Trevanion—and + leave the hotel quite sure she has no claim on me. Meanwhile, some others + of the party are to mention incidentally having met Mr. O'Leary somewhere, + or heard of his decease, or any pleasant little incident that may occur to + them." + </p> + <p> + "The plan is excellent," said I, "for in all probability she may never + come in your way again, if sent off on a good errand this time." + </p> + <p> + "That's what I'm thinking," said O'Leary; "and I am greatly disposed to + let her hear that I'm with Belzoni in Egypt, with an engagement to spend + the Christmas with the Dey of Algiers. That would give her a very pretty + tour for the remainder of the year, and show her the pyramids. But, tell + me fairly, am I a good Pole?" + </p> + <p> + "Rather short," said I, "and a little too fat, perhaps." + </p> + <p> + "That comes from the dash of Tartar blood, nothing more; and my mother was + a Fin," said he, "she'll never ask whether from Carlow or the Caucasus. + How I revel in the thought, that I may smoke in company without a breach + of the unities. But I must go: there is a gentleman with a quinsey in No. + 9, that gives me a lesson in Polish this morning. So good-by, and don't + forget to be well enough to-night, for you must be present at my debut." + </p> + <p> + O'Leary had scarcely gone, when my thoughts reverted to Emily Bingham. I + was not such a coxcomb as to fancy her in love with me; yet certainly + there was something in the affair which looked not unlike it; and though, + by such a circumstance, every embarrassment which pressed upon me had + become infinitely greater, I could not dissemble from myself a sense of + pleasure at the thought. She was really a very pretty girl, and improved + vastly upon acquaintance. "Le absens ont toujours torts" is the truest + proverb in any language, and I felt it in its fullest force when Trevanion + entered my room. + </p> + <p> + "Well, Lorrequer," said he, "your time is certainly not likely to hang + heavily on your hands in Paris, if occupation will prevent it, for I find + you are just now booked for a new scrape." + </p> + <p> + "What can you mean?" said I, starting up. + </p> + <p> + "Why, O'Leary, who has been since your illness, the constant visiter at + the Binghams—dining there every day, and spending his evenings—has + just told me that the mamma is only waiting for the arrival of Sir Guy + Lorrequer in Paris to open the trenches in all form; and from what she has + heard of Sir Guy, she deems it most likely he will give her every aid and + support to making you the husband of the fair Emily." + </p> + <p> + "And with good reason, too," said I; "for if my uncle were only given to + understand that I had once gone far in my attentions, nothing would induce + him to break off the match. He was crossed in love himself when young, and + has made a score of people miserable since, in the benevolent idea of + marrying them against every obstacle." + </p> + <p> + "How very smart you have become," said Trevanion, taking a look round my + room, and surveying in turn each of the new occupants. "You must certainly + reckon upon seeing your fair friend here, or all this propriete is sadly + wasted." + </p> + <p> + This was the time to explain all about Miss Bingham's visit; and I did so, + of course omitting any details which might seem to me needless, or + involving myself in inconsistency. + </p> + <p> + Trevanion listened patiently to the end—was silent for some moments—then + added— + </p> + <p> + "And you never saw the letter?" + </p> + <p> + "Of course not. It was burned before my eyes." + </p> + <p> + "I think the affair looks very serious, Lorrequer. You may have won this + girl's affections. It matters little whether the mamma be a hacknied + match-maker, or the cousin a bullying duellist. If the girl have a heart, + and that you have gained it"— + </p> + <p> + "Then I must marry, you would say." + </p> + <p> + "Exactly so—without the prompting of your worthy uncle, I see no + other course open to you without dishonour. My advice, therefore, is, + ascertain—and that speedily—how far your attentions have been + attended with the success you dread—and then decide at once. Are you + able to get as far as Mrs. Bingham's room this morning? If so, come along. + I shall take all the frais of la chere mamma off your hands, while you + talk to the daughter; and half-an-hour's courage and resolution will do it + all." + </p> + <p> + Having made the most effective toilet my means would permit, my right arm + in a sling, and my step trembling from weakness, I sallied forth with + Trevanion to make love with as many fears for the result as the most + bashful admirer ever experienced, when pressing his suit upon some haughty + belle—but for a far different reason. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch37" id="ch37"></a>CHAPTER XXXVII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE PROPOSAL. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + On reaching Mrs. Bingham's apartments, we found that she had just left + home to wait upon Mrs. O'Leary, and consequently, that Miss Bingham was + alone. Trevanion, therefore, having wished me a safe deliverance through + my trying mission, shook my hand warmly, and departed. + </p> + <p> + I stood for some minutes irresolutely, with my hand upon the lock of the + door. To think that the next few moments may decide the fortune of one's + after life, is a sufficiently anxious thought; but that your fate may be + so decided, by compelling you to finish in sorrow what you have begun in + folly, is still more insupportable. Such, then, was my condition. I had + resolved within myself, if the result of this meeting should prove that I + had won Miss Bingham's affections, to propose for her at once in all form, + and make her my wife. If, on the other hand, I only found that she too had + amused herself with a little passing flirtation, why then, I was a free + man once more: but, on catechising myself a little closer, also, one + somewhat disposed to make love de novo. + </p> + <p> + With the speed of lightning, my mind ran over every passage of our + acquaintance—our first meeting—our solitary walks—our + daily, hourly associations—our travelling intimacy—the + adventure at Chantraine.— There was, it is true, nothing in all this + which could establish the fact of wooing, but every thing which should + convince an old offender like myself that the young lady was "en prise," + and that I myself—despite my really strong attachment elsewhere—was + not entirely scathless. + </p> + <p> + "Yes," said I, half aloud, as I once more reviewed the past, "it is but + another chapter in my history in keeping with all the rest—one step + has ever led me to a second, and so on to a third; what with other men + have passed for mere trifles, have ever with me become serious + difficulties, and the false enthusiasm with which I ever follow any object + in life, blinds me for the time, and mistaking zeal for inclination, I + never feel how little my heart is interested in success, till the fever of + pursuit is over." + </p> + <p> + These were pleasant thoughts for one about to throw himself at a pretty + girl's feet, and pour out his "soul of love before her;" but that with me + was the least part of it. Curran, they say, usually picked up his facts in + a case from the opposite counsel's statements; I always relied for my + conduct in carrying on any thing, to the chance circumstances of the + moment, and trusted to my animal spirits to give me an interest in + whatever for the time being engaged me. + </p> + <p> + I opened the door. Miss Bingham was sitting at a table, her head leaning + upon her hands—some open letters which lay before her, evidently so + occupying her attention, that my approach was unheard. On my addressing + her, she turned round suddenly, and became at first deep scarlet, then + pale as death: while, turning to the table, she hurriedly threw her + letters into a drawer, and motioned me to a place beside her. + </p> + <p> + After the first brief and common-place inquiry for my health, and hopes + for my speedy recovery, she became silent; and I too, primed with topics + innumerable to discuss—knowing how short my time might prove before + Mrs. Bingham's return—could not say a word. + </p> + <p> + "I hope, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "that you have incurred no + risque by leaving your room so early." + </p> + <p> + "I have not," I replied, "but, even were there a certainty of it, the + anxiety I laboured under to see and speak with you alone, would have + overcome all fears on this account. Since this unfortunate business has + confined me to my chamber, I have done nothing but think over + circumstances which have at length so entirely taken possession of me, + that I must, at any sacrifice, have sought an opportunity to explain to + you"—here Emily looked down, and I continued—"I need scarcely + say what my feelings must long since have betrayed, that to have enjoyed + the daily happiness of living in your society, of estimating your worth, + of feeling your fascinations, were not the means most in request for him, + who knew, too well, how little he deserved, either by fortune or desert, + to hope, to hope to make you his; and yet, how little has prudence or + caution to do with situations like this." She did not guess the animus of + this speech. "I felt all I have described; and yet, and yet, I lingered + on, prizing too dearly the happiness of the present hour, to risque it by + any avowal of sentiments, which might have banished me from your presence + for ever. If the alteration of these hopes and fears have proved too + strong for my reason at last, I cannot help it; and this it is which now + leads me to make this avowal to you." Emily turned her head away from me; + but her agitated manner showed how deeply my words had affected her; and I + too, now that I had finished, felt that I had been "coming it rather + strong." + </p> + <p> + "I hoped, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "I hoped, I confess, to + have had an opportunity of speaking with you." Then, thought I, the game + is over, and Bishop Luscombe is richer by five pounds, than I wish him.— + "Something, I know not what, in your manner, led me to suspect that your + affections might lean towards me; hints you have dropped, and, now and + then, your chance allusions strengthened the belief, and I determined, at + length, that no feeling of maidenly shame on my part should endanger the + happiness of either of us, and I determined to see you; this was so + difficult, that I wrote a letter, and that letter, which might have saved + me all distressing explanation, I burned before you this morning." + </p> + <p> + "But, why, dearest girl,"—here was a plunge—"why, if the + letter could remove any misconstruction, or could be the means of + dispelling any doubt—why not let me see it?" + </p> + <p> + "Hear me out," cried she, eagerly, and evidently not heeding my + interruption, "I determined if your affections were indeed"—a flood + of tears here broke forth, and drowned her words; her head sank between + her hands, and she sobbed bitterly. + </p> + <p> + "Corpo di Baccho!" said I to myself, "It is all over with me; the poor + girl is evidently jealous, and her heart will break." + </p> + <p> + "Dearest, dearest Emily," said I, passing my arm round her, and + approaching my head close to her's, "if you think that any other love than + yours could ever beat within this heart—that I could see you hourly + before me—live beneath your smile, and gaze upon your beauty—and, + still more than all—pardon the boldness of the thought—feel + that I was not indifferent to you."— + </p> + <p> + "Oh! spare me this at least," said she, turning round her tearful eyes + upon me, and looking most bewitchingly beautiful. "Have I then showed you + this plainly?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, dearest girl! That instinct which tells us we are loved has spoken + within me. And here in this beating heart"— + </p> + <p> + "Oh! say not more," said she, "if I have, indeed, gained your affections"— + </p> + <p> + "If—if you have," said I, clasping her to my heart, while she + continued to sob still violently, and I felt half disposed to blow my + brains out for my success. However, there is something in love-making as + in fox-hunting, which carries you along in spite of yourself; and I + continued to pour forth whole rhapsodies of love that the Pastor Fido + could not equal. + </p> + <p> + "Enough," said she, "it is enough that you love me and that I have + encouraged your so doing. But oh! tell me once more, and think how much of + future happiness may rest upon your answer—tell me, may not this be + some passing attachment, which circumstances have created, and others may + dispel? Say, might not absence, time, or another more worthy"— + </p> + <p> + This was certainly a very rigid cross-examination when I thought the trial + was over; and not being exactly prepared for it, I felt no other mode of + reply than pressing her taper fingers alternately to my lips, and + muttering something that might pass for a declaration of love unalterable, + but, to my own ears, resembled a lament on my folly. + </p> + <p> + "She is mine now," thought I, "so we must e'en make the best of it; and + truly she is a very handsome girl, though not a Lady Jane Callonby. The + next step is the mamma; but I do not anticipate much difficulty in that + quarter." + </p> + <p> + "Leave me now," said she, in a low and broken voice; "but promise not to + speak of this meeting to any one before we meet again. I have my reasons; + believe me they are sufficient ones, so promise me this before we part." + </p> + <p> + Having readily given the pledge required, I again kissed her hand and bade + farewell, not a little puzzled the whole time at perceiving that ever + since my declaration and acceptance Emily seemed any thing but happy, and + evidently struggling against some secret feeling of which I knew nothing. + "Yes," thought I, as I wended my way along the corridor, "the poor girl is + tremendously jealous, and I must have said may a thing during our intimacy + to hurt her. However, that is all past and gone; and now comes a new + character for me: my next appearance wil be 'en bon mari.'" + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch38" id="ch38"></a>CHAPTER XXXVIII. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THOUGHTS UPON MATRIMONY IN GENERAL, AND IN THE ARMY IN PARTICULAR —THE + KNIGHT OF KERRY AND BILLY M'CABE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + "So," thought I, as I closed the door of my room behind me, "I am accepted—the + die is cast which makes me a Benedict: yet heaven knows that never was a + man less disposed to be over joyous at his good fortune!" What a happy + invention it were, if when adopting any road in life, we could only manage + to forget that we had ever contemplated any other! It is the eternal + looking back in this world that forms the staple of all our misery; and we + are but ill-requited for such unhappiness by the brightest anticipations + we can conjure up for the future. How much of all that "past" was now to + become a source of painful recollection, and to how little of the future + could I look forward with even hope! + </p> + <p> + Our weaknesses are much more constantly the spring of all our annoyances + and troubles than even our vices. The one we have in some sort of + subjection: we are perfectly slaves to the others. This thought came home + most forcibly to my bosom, as I reflected upon the step which led me on + imperceptibly to my present embarrassment. "Well, c'est fini, now," said + I, drawing upon that bountiful source of consolation ever open to the man + who mars his fortune—that "what is past can't be amended;" which + piece of philosophy, as well as its twin brother, that "all will be the + same a hundred years hence," have been golden rules to me from my + childhood. + </p> + <p> + The transition from one mode of life to another perfectly different has + ever seemed to me a great trial of a man's moral courage; besides that the + fact of quitting for ever any thing, no matter how insignificant or + valueless, is always attended with painful misgivings. My bachelor life + had its share of annoyances and disappointments, it is true; but, upon the + whole it was a most happy one—and now I was about to surrender it + for ever, not yielding to the impulse of affection and love for one + without whom life were valueless to me, but merely a recompense for the + indulgence of that fatal habit I had contracted of pursuing with eagerness + every shadow that crossed my path. All my early friends—all my + vagrant fancies—all my daydreams of the future I was now to + surrender—for, what becomes of any man's bachelor friends when he is + once married? Where are his rambles in high and bye-ways when he has a + wife? and what is left for anticipation after his wedding except, perhaps, + to speculate upon the arrangement of his funeral? To a military man more + than to any other these are serious thoughts. All the fascinations of an + army life, in war or peace, lie in the daily, hourly associations with + your brother officers—the morning cigar, the barrack-square lounge—the + afternoon ride—the game of billiards before dinner—the mess + (that perfection of dinner society)—the plans for the evening—the + deviled kidney at twelve—forming so many points of departure whence + you sail out upon your daily voyage through life. Versus those you have + that awful perversion of all that is natural—an officer's wife. She + has been a beauty when young, had black eyes and high complexion, a good + figure, rather inclined to embonpoint, and a certain springiness in her + walk, and a jauntiness in her air, that are ever sure attractions to a sub + in a marching regiment. She can play backgammon, and sing "di tanti + palpiti," and, if an Irishwoman, is certain to be able to ride a + steeple-chase, and has an uncle a lord, who (en parenthese) always turns + out to be a creation made by King James after his abdication. In + conclusion, she breakfasts en papillote—wears her shoes down at heel—calls + every officer of the regiment by his name—has a great taste for + increasing his majesty's lieges, and delights in London porter. To this + genus of Frow I have never ceased to entertain the most thrilling + abhorrence; and yet how often have I seen what appeared to be pretty and + interesting girls fall into something of this sort! and how often have I + vowed any fate to myself rather than become the husband of a + baggage-waggon wife! + </p> + <p> + Had all my most sanguine hopes promised realizing—had my suit with + Lady Jane been favourable, I could scarcely have bid adieu to my bachelor + life without a sigh. No prospect of future happiness can ever perfectly + exclude all regret at quitting our present state for ever. I am sure if I + had been a caterpillar, it would have been with a heavy heart that I would + have donned my wings as a butterfly. Now the metamorphosis was reversed: + need it be wondered if I were sad? + </p> + <p> + So completely was I absorbed in my thoughts upon this matter, that I had + not perceived the entrance of O'Leary and Trevanion, who, unaware of my + being in the apartment, as I was stretched upon a sofa in a dark corner, + drew their chairs towards the fire and began chatting. + </p> + <p> + "Do you know, Mr. Trevanion," said O'Leary, "I am half afraid of this + disguise of mine. I sometimes think I am not like a Pole; and if she + should discover me"— + </p> + <p> + "No fear of that in the world; your costume is perfect, your beard + unexceptionable. I could, perhaps, have desired a little less paunch; but + then"— + </p> + <p> + "That comes of fretting, as Falstaff says; and you must not forget that I + am banished from my country." + </p> + <p> + "Now, as to your conversation, I should advise you saying very little—not + one word in English. You may, if you like, call in the assistance of Irish + when hard pressed? + </p> + <p> + "I have my fears on that score. There is no knowing where that might lead + to discovery. You know the story of the Knight of Kerry and Billy McCabe?" + </p> + <p> + "I fear I must confess my ignorance—I have never heard of it." + </p> + <p> + "Then may be you never knew Giles Daxon?" + </p> + <p> + "I have not had that pleasure either." + </p> + <p> + "Lord bless me, how strange that is! I thought he was better known than + the Duke of Wellington or the travelling piper. Well, I must tell you the + story, for it has a moral, too—indeed several morals; but you'll + find that out for yourself. Well, it seems that one day the Knight of + Kerry was walking along the Strand in London, killing an hour's time, till + the house was done prayers, and Hume tired of hearing himself speaking; + his eye was caught by an enormous picture displayed upon the wall of a + house, representing a human figure covered with long dark hair, with huge + nails upon his hands, and a most fearful expression of face. At first the + Knight thought it was Dr. Bowring; but on coming nearer he heard a man + with a scarlet livery and a cocked hat, call out, 'Walk in, ladies and + gentlemen—the most vonderful curiosity ever exhibited—only one + shilling—the vild man from Chippoowango, in Africay—eats raw + wittles without being cooked, and many other surprising and pleasing + performances.' + </p> + <p> + "The knight paid his money, and was admitted. At first the crowd prevented + his seeing any thing—for the place was full to suffocation, and the + noise awful—for, besides the exclamations and applause of the + audience, there were three barrel-organs, playing 'Home, sweet Home!' and + 'Cherry Ripe,' and the wild man himself contributed his share to the + uproar. At last, the Knight obtained, by dint of squeezing, and some + pushing a place in the front, when, to his very great horror, he beheld a + figure that far eclipsed the portrait without doors. + </p> + <p> + "It was a man nearly naked, covered with long, shaggy hair, that grew even + over his nose and cheek bones. He sprang about, sometimes on his feet, + sometimes, all-fours, but always uttering the most fearful yells, and + glaring upon the crowd, in a manner that was really dangerous. The Knight + did not feel exactly happy at the whole proceeding, and began heartily to + wish himself back in the 'House,' even upon a committee of privileges, + when, suddenly, the savage gave a more frantic scream than before, and + seized upon a morsel of raw beef, which a keeper extended to him upon a + long fork, like a tandem whip—he was not safe, it appears, at close + quarters;—this he tore to pieces eagerly and devoured in the most + voracious manner, amid great clapping of hands, and other evidences of + satisfaction from the audience. I'll go, now, thought the Knight: for, God + knows whether, in his hungry moods, he might not fancy to conclude his + dinner by a member of parliament. Just at this instant, some sounds struck + upon his ear that surprised him not a little. He listened more + attentively; and, conceive if you can, his amazement, to find that, amid + his most fearful cries, and wild yells, the savage was talking Irish. + Laugh, if you like; but it's truth I am telling you; nothing less than + Irish. There he was, jumping four feet high in the air, eating his raw + meat: pulling out his hair by handfuls; and, amid all this, cursing the + whole company to his heart's content, in as good Irish as ever was heard + in Tralee. Now, though the Knight had heard of red Jews and white Negroes, + he had never happened to read any account of an African Irishman; so, he + listened very closely, and by degrees, not only the words were known to + him, but the very voice was familiar. At length, something he heard, left + no further doubt upon his mind, and, turning to the savage, he addressed + him in Irish, at the same time fixing a look of most scrutinizing import + upon him. + </p> + <p> + "'Who are you, you scoundrel' said the Knight. + </p> + <p> + "'Billy M'Cabe your honour.' + </p> + <p> + "'And what do you mean by playing off these tricks here, instead of + earning your bread like an honest man?' + </p> + <p> + "'Whisht,' said Billy, 'and keep the secret. I'm earning the rent for your + honour. One must do many a queer thing that pays two pound ten an acre for + bad land.' + </p> + <p> + "This was enough: the Knight wished Billy every success, and left him amid + the vociferous applause of a well satisfied audience. This adventure, it + seems, has made the worthy Knight a great friend to the introduction of + poor laws; for, he remarks very truly, 'more of Billy's countrymen might + take a fancy to a savage life, if the secret was found out.'" + </p> + <p> + It was impossible for me to preserve my incognito, as Mr. O'Leary + concluded his story, and I was obliged to join in the mirth of Trevanion, + who laughed loud and long as he finished it. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch39" id="ch39"></a>CHAPTER XXXIX. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + A REMINISCENCE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Harry_Proves_Himself_a_Man_of_Metal" + id="Harry_Proves_Himself_a_Man_of_Metal">Harry Proves Himself a Man of + Metal</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch39HarryProvesaManofMetal.jpg"> + <img alt="Ch 39 Harry Proves a Man of Metal.jpg (74K)" + src="images/Ch39HarryProvesaManofMetal.jpg" + height="780" width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + O'Leary and Trevanion had scarcely left the room when the waiter entered + with two letters—the one bore a German post-mark, and was in the + well-known hand of Lady Callonby—the other in a writing with which I + was no less familiar—that of Emily Bingham. + </p> + <p> + Let any one who has been patient enough to follow me through these + "Confessions," conceive my agitation at this moment. There lay my fate + before me, coupled, in all likelihood, with a view of what it might have + been under happier auspices—at least so in anticipation did I read + the two unopened epistles. My late interview with Miss Bingham left no + doubt upon my mind that I had secured her affections; and acting in + accordance with the counsel of Trevanion, no less than of my own sense of + right, I resolved upon marrying her, with what prospect of happiness I + dared not to think of! + </p> + <p> + Alas! and alas! there is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation—mere + empty, valueless, heartless flirtation. You hide the dice-box and the + billiard queue, lest your son become a gambler—you put aside the + racing calendar, lest he imbibe a jockey predilection—but you never + tremble at his fondness for white muslin and a satin slipper, far more + dangerous tastes though they be, and infinitely more perilous to a man's + peace and prosperity than all the "queens of trumps" that ever figured, + whether on pasteboard or the Doncaster. "Woman's my weakness, yer honor," + said an honest Patlander, on being charged before the lord mayor with + having four wives living; and without having any such "Algerine act" upon + my conscience, I must, I fear, enter a somewhat similar plea for my + downfallings, and avow in humble gratitude, that I have scarcely had a + misfortune through life unattributable to them in one way or another. And + this I say without any reference to country, class, or complexion, "black, + brown or fair," from my first step forth into life, a raw sub. in the + gallant 4_th, to this same hour, I have no other avowal, no other + confession to make. "Be always ready with the pistol," was the dying + advice of an Irish statesman to his sons: mine, in a similar circumstance, + would rather be "Gardez vous des femmes," and more especially if they be + Irish. + </p> + <p> + There is something almost treacherous in the facility with which an Irish + girl receives your early attentions and appears to like them, that + invariably turns a young fellow's head very long before he has any + prospect of touching her heart. She thinks it so natural to be made love + to, that there is neither any affected coyness nor any agitated surprise. + She listens to your declaration of love as quietly as the chief justice + would to one of law, and refers the decision to a packed jury of her + relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy. Love and fighting, too, are + so intimately united in Ireland, that a courtship rarely progresses + without at least one exchange of shots between some of the parties + concerned. My first twenty-four hours in Dublin is so pleasantly + characteristic of this that I may as well relate it here, while the + subject is before us; besides, as these "Confessions" are intended as + warnings and guides to youth, I may convey a useful lesson, showing why a + man should not "make love in the dark." + </p> + <p> + It was upon a raw, cold, drizzling morning in February, 18__, that our + regiment landed on the North-wall from Liverpool, whence we had been + hurriedly ordered to repress some riots and disturbances then agitating + Dublin. + </p> + <p> + We marched to the Royal Barracks, our band playing Patrick's Day, to the + very considerable admiration of as naked a population as ever loved music. + The __th dragoons were at the same time quartered there—right + pleasant jovial fellows, who soon gave us to understand that the troubles + were over before we arrived, and that the great city authorities were now + returning thanks for their preservation from fire and sword, by a series + of entertainments of the most costly, but somewhat incongruous kind—the + company being scarce less melee than the dishes. Peers and playactors, + judges and jailors, archbishops, tailors, attorneys, ropemakers and + apothecaries, all uniting in the festive delight of good feeding, and + drinking the "glorious memory"—but of whom half the company knew + not, only surmising "it was something agin the papists." You may smile, + but these were pleasant times, and I scarcely care to go back there since + they were changed. But to return. The __th had just received an invitation + to a ball, to be given by the high sheriff, and to which they most + considerately said we should also be invited. This negociation was so well + managed that before noon we all received our cards from a green liveried + youth, mounted on a very emaciated pony—the whole turn-out not + auguring flatteringly of the high sheriff's taste in equipage. + </p> + <p> + We dined with the __th, and, as customary before going to an evening + party, took the "other bottle" of claret that lies beyond the frontier of + prudence. In fact, from the lieutenant-colonel down to the newly-joined + ensign, there was not a face in the party that did not betray "signs of + the times" that boded most favourably for the mirth of the sheriff's ball. + We were so perfectly up to the mark, that our major, a Connemara man, + said, as we left the mess-room, "a liqueure glass would spoil us." + </p> + <p> + In this acme of our intellectual wealth, we started about eleven o'clock + upon every species of conveyance that chance could press into the service. + Of hackney coaches there were few—but in jingles, noddies, and + jaunting-cars, with three on a side and "one in the well," we mustered + strong—Down Barrack-street we galloped, the mob cheering us, we + laughing, and I'm afraid shouting a little, too—the watchmen + springing their rattles, as if instinctively at noise, and the whole + population up and awake, evidently entertaining a high opinion of our + convivial qualities. Our voices became gradually more decorous, however, + as we approached the more civilized quarter of the town; and with only the + slight stoppage of the procession to pick up an occasional dropper-off, as + he lapsed from the seat of a jaunting-car, we arrived at length at our + host's residence, somewhere in Sackville-street. + </p> + <p> + Had our advent conferred the order of knighthood upon the host, he could + not have received us with more "empressement." He shook us all in turn by + the hand, to the number of eight and thirty, and then presented us + seriatim to his spouse, a very bejewelled lady of some forty years—who, + what between bugles, feathers, and her turban, looked excessively like a + Chinese pagoda upon a saucer. The rooms were crowded to suffocation—the + noise awful—and the company crushing and elbowing rather a little + more than you expect where the moiety are of the softer sex. However, "on + s'habitue a tout," sayeth the proverb, and with truth, for we all so + perfectly fell in with the habits of the place, that ere half an hour, we + squeezed, ogled, leered, and drank champagne like the rest of the + corporation. + </p> + <p> + "Devilish hot work, this," said the colonel, as he passed me with two + rosy-cheeked, smiling ladies on either arm; "the mayor—that little + fellow in the punch-coloured shorts—has very nearly put me hors de + combat with champagne; take care of him, I advise you." + </p> + <p> + Tipsy as I felt myself, I was yet sufficiently clear to be fully alive to + the drollery of the scene before me. Flirtations that, under other + circumstances, would demand the secrecy and solitude of a country green + lane, or some garden bower, were here conducted in all the open effrontery + of wax lights and lustres; looks were interchanged, hands were squeezed, + and soft things whispered, and smiles returned; till the intoxication of + "punch negus" and spiced port, gave way to the far greater one of bright + looks and tender glances. Quadrilles and country dances—waltzing + there was none, (perhaps all for the best)—whist, backgammon, loo—unlimited + for uproar—sandwiches, and warm liquors, employed us pretty briskly + till supper was announced, when a grand squeeze took place on the stairs—the + population tending thitherward with an eagerness that a previous + starvation of twenty-four hours could alone justify. Among this dense mass + of moving muslin, velvet and broad-cloth, I found myself chaperoning an + extremely tempting little damsel, with a pair of laughing blue eyes and + dark eyelashes, who had been committed to my care and guidance for the + passage. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Moriarty, Mr. Lorrequer," said an old lady in green and spangles, + who I afterwards found was the lady mayoress. + </p> + <p> + "The nicest girl in the room," said a gentleman with a Tipperary accent, + "and has a mighty nice place near Athlone." + </p> + <p> + The hint was not lost upon me, and I speedily began to faire l'amiable to + my charge; and before we reached the supper room, learned certain + particulars of her history, which I have not yet forgot. She was, it + seems, sister to a lady then in the room, the wife of an attorney, who + rejoiced in the pleasing and classical appellation of Mr. Mark Anthony + Fitzpatrick; the aforesaid Mark Anthony being a tall, raw-boned, + black-whiskered, ill-looking dog, that from time to time contrived to + throw very uncomfortable looking glances at me and Mary Anne, for she was + so named, the whole time of supper. After a few minutes, however, I + totally forgot him, and, indeed, every thing else, in the fascination of + my fair companion. She shared her chair with me, upon which I supported + her by my arm passed round the back; we eat our pickled salmon, jelly, + blanc mange, cold chicken, ham, and custard; off the same plate, with an + occasional squeeze of the finger, as our hands met—her eyes making + sad havoc with me all the while, as I poured my tale of love—love, + lasting, burning, all-consuming—into her not unwilling ear. + </p> + <p> + "Ah! now, ye'r not in earnest?" + </p> + <p> + "Yes, Mary Anne, by all that's"— + </p> + <p> + "Well, there now, don't swear, and take care—sure Mark Anthony is + looking." + </p> + <p> + "Mark Anthony be—" + </p> + <p> + "Oh! how passionate you are; I'm sure I never could live easy with you. + There, now, give me some sponge cake, and don't be squeezing me, or + they'll see you." + </p> + <p> + "Yes, to my heart, dearest girl." + </p> + <p> + "Och, it's cheese you're giving me," said she, with a grimace that nearly + cured my passion. + </p> + <p> + "A cottage, a hut, with you—with you," said I, in a cadence that I + defy Macready to rival—"what is worldly splendour, or the empty + glitter of rank." + </p> + <p> + I here glanced at my epaulettes, upon which I saw her eyes rivetted. + </p> + <p> + "Isn't the ginger beer beautiful," said she, emptying a glass of + champagne. + </p> + <p> + Still I was not to be roused from my trance, and continued my courtship as + warmly as ever. + </p> + <p> + "I suppose you'll come home now," said a gruff voice behind Mary Anne. + </p> + <p> + I turned and perceived Mark Anthony with a grim look of peculiar import. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mark dear, I'm engaged to dance another set with this gentleman." + </p> + <p> + "Ye are, are ye?" replied Mark, eyeing me askance. "Troth and I think the + gentleman would be better if he went off to his flea-bag himself." + </p> + <p> + In my then mystified intellect this west country synonyme for a bed a + little puzzled me. + </p> + <p> + "Yes sir, the lady is engaged to me: have you any thing to say to that?" + </p> + <p> + "Nothing at present, at all," said Mark, almost timidly. + </p> + <p> + "Oh dear, oh dear," sobbed Mary Anne; "they're going to fight, and he'll + be killed—I know he will." + </p> + <p> + For which of us this fate was destined, I stopped not to consider, but + amid a very sufficient patting upon the back, and thumping between the + shoulders, bestowed by members of the company who approved of my + proceedings. The three fiddles, the flute, and bassoon, that formed our + band, being by this time sufficiently drunk, played after a fashion of + their own, which by one of those strange sympathies of our nature, + imparted its influence to our legs, and a country dance was performed in a + style of free and easy gesticulation that defies description. At the end + of eighteen couple, tired of my exertions—and they were not slight—I + leaned my back against the wall of the room, which I now, for the first + time, perceived was covered with a very peculiar and novel species of + hanging—no less than a kind of rough, green baize cloth, that moved + and floated at every motion of the air. I paid little attention to this, + till suddenly turning my head, something gave way behind it. I felt myself + struck upon the back of the neck, and fell forward into the room, covered + by a perfect avalanche of fenders, fire-irons, frying-pans, and copper + kettles, mingled with the lesser artillery of small nails, door keys, and + holdfasts. There I lay amid the most vociferous mirth I ever listened to, + under the confounded torrent of ironmongery that half-stunned me. The + laughter over, I was assisted to rise, and having drank about a pint of + vinegar, and had my face and temples washed in strong whiskey punch—the + allocation of the fluids being mistaken, I learned that our host, the high + sheriff, was a celebrated tin and iron man, and that his salles de + reception were no other than his magazine of metals, and that to conceal + the well filled shelves from the gaze of his aristocratic guests, they + were clothed in the manner related; which my unhappy head, by some + misfortune, displaced, and thus brought on a calamity scarcely less + afflicting to him than to myself. I should scarcely have stopped to + mention this here, were it not that Mary Anne's gentle nursing of me in my + misery went far to complete what her fascination had begun; and although + she could not help laughing at the occurrence, I forgave her readily for + her kindness. + </p> + <p> + "Remember," said I, trying to ogle through a black eye, painted by the + angle of a register grate—"remember, Mary Anne, I am to see you + home." + </p> + <p> + "Oh! dear, sir, sure I don't know how you can manage it—" + </p> + <p> + Here Mark Anthony's entrance cut short this speech, for he came to declare + that some of the officers had taken his coach, and was, as might be + supposed, in a towering passion. + </p> + <p> + "If, sir," said I, with an air of the most balmy courtesy—"If I can + be of any use in assisting you to see your friends home—" + </p> + <p> + "Ah! then, ye'r a nice looking article to see ladies home. I wish you seen + yourself this minute," said he. + </p> + <p> + As I felt it would be no breach of the unities—time, place, and + every thing considered—to smash his skull, I should certainly have + proceeded to do so, had not a look of the most imploring kind from Mary + Anne restrained me. By this time, he had taken her under the arm, and was + leading her away. I stood irresolute, till a glance from my charmer caught + me; when I rallied at once, and followed them down stairs. Here the scene + was the full as amusing as above; the cloaking, shawling, shoeing, , of + the ladies being certainly as mirth-moving a process as I should wish to + see. Here were mothers trying to collect their daughters, as a hen her + chickens, and as in that case, the pursuit of one usually lost all the + others; testy papas swearing, lovers leering, as they twisted the boas + round the fair throats of their sweethearts; vows of love, mingling with + lamentations for a lost slipper, or a stray mantle. Sometimes the candles + were extinguished, and the melee became greater, till the order and light + were restored together. Meanwhile, each of our fellows had secured his + fair one, save myself, and I was exposed to no small ridicule for my want + of savoir faire. Nettled at this, I made a plunge to the corner of the + room, where Mary Anne was shawling; I recognized her pink sash, threw her + cloak over her shoulders, and at the very moment that Mark Anthony drew + his wife's arm within his, I performed the same by my friend, and followed + them to the door. Here, the grim brother-in-law turned round to take Mary + Anne's arm, and seeing her with me, merely gave a kind of hoarse chuckle, + and muttered, "Very well, sir: upon my conscience you will have it, I + see." During this brief interval, so occupied was I in watching him, that + I never once looked in my fair friend's face; but the gentle squeeze of + her arm, as she leaned upon me, assured me that I had her approval of what + I was doing. + </p> + <p> + What were the precise train of my thoughts, and what the subjects of + conversation between us, I am unfortunately now unable to recollect. It is + sufficient to remember, that I could not believe five minutes had elapsed, + when we arrived at York-street. "Then you confess you love me," said I, as + I squeezed her arm to my side. + </p> + <p> + "Then, by this kiss," said I, "I swear, never to relinquish."— + </p> + <p> + What I was about to add, I am sure I know not; but true it is, that a + certain smacking noise here attracted Mr. Mark Anthony's attention, who + started round, looked as full in the face, and then gravely added, "Enough + is as good as a feast. I wish you pleasant drames, Mr. Larry Kar, if + that's your name; and you'll hear from me in the morning." + </p> + <p> + "I intend it," said I. "Good night, dearest; think of—" The slam of + the street door in my face spoiled the peroration, and I turned towards + home. + </p> + <p> + By the time I reached the barracks, the united effects of the champagne, + sherry, and Sheffield iron, had, in a good measure subsided, and my head + had become sufficiently clear to permit a slight retrospect of the + evening's amusement. + </p> + <p> + From two illusions I was at least awakened:—First, the high + sheriff's ball was not the most accurate representation of high society; + secondly, I was not deeply enamoured of Mary Anne Moriarty. Strange as it + may seem, and how little soever the apparent connexion between those two + facts, the truth of one had a considerable influence in deciding the + other. N'importe, said I, the thing is over; it was rather good fun, too, + upon the whole—saving the "chute des casseroles;" and as to the + lady, she must have seen it was a joke as well as myself. At least, so I + am decided it shall be; and as there was no witness to our conversation, + the thing is easily got out of. + </p> + <p> + The following day, as I was dressing to ride out, my servant announced no + less a person than Mr. Mark Anthony Fitzpatrick, who said "that he came + upon a little business, and must see me immediately." + </p> + <p> + Mr. Fitzpatrick, upon being announced, speedily opened his negociation by + asking in very terse and unequivocal phrase, my intentions regarding his + sister-in-law. After professing the most perfect astonishment at the + question, and its possible import, I replied, that she was a most charming + person, with whom I intended to have nothing whatever to do. + </p> + <p> + "And maybe you never proposed for her at the ball last night?" + </p> + <p> + "Propose for a lady at a ball the first time I ever met her!" + </p> + <p> + "Just so. Can you carry your memory so far back? or, perhaps I had better + refresh it;" and he here repeated the whole substance of my conversation + on the way homeward, sometimes in the very words I used. + </p> + <p> + "But, my dear sir, the young lady could never have supposed I used such + language as this you have repeated?" + </p> + <p> + "So, then, you intend to break off? Well, then, it's right to tell you + that you're in a very ugly scrape, for it was my wife you took home last + night—not Miss Moriarty; and I leave you to choose at your leisure + whether you'd rather be defendant in a suit for breach of promise or + seduction; and, upon my conscience, I think it's civil in me to give you a + choice." + </p> + <p> + What a pretty disclosure was here! So that while I was imaging myself + squeezing the hand and winning the heart of the fair Mary Anne, I was + merely making a case of strong evidence for a jury, that might expose me + to the world, and half ruin me in damages. There was but one course open—to + make a fight for it; and, from what I saw of my friend Mark Anthony, this + did not seem difficult. + </p> + <p> + I accordingly assumed a high tone—laughed at the entire affair—said + it was a "way we had in the army"—that "we never meant any thing by + it," + </p> + <p> + In a few minutes I perceived the bait was taking. Mr. Fitzpatrick's west + country blood was up: all thought of the legal resource was abandoned; and + he flung out of the room to find a friend, I having given him the name of + "one of ours" as mine upon the occasion. + </p> + <p> + Very little time was lost, for before three o'clock that afternoon a + meeting was fixed for the following morning at the North Bull; and I had + the satisfaction of hearing that I only escaped the malignant eloquence of + Holmes in the King's Bench, to be "blazed" at by the best shot on the + western circuit. The thought was no way agreeable, and I indemnified + myself for the scrape by a very satisfactory anathema upon the high + sheriff and his ball, and his confounded saucepans; for to the lady's + sympathy for my sufferings I attributed much of my folly. + </p> + <p> + At eight the next morning I found myself standing with Curzon and the + doctor upon that bleak portion of her majesty's dominion they term the + North Bull, waiting in a chilly rain, and a raw fog, till it pleased Mark + Anthony Fitzpatrick, to come and shoot me—such being the precise + terms of our combat, in the opinion of all parties. + </p> + <p> + The time, however, passed on, and half-past eight, three quarters, and at + last nine o'clock, without his appearing; when, just as Curzon had + resolved upon our leaving the ground, a hack jaunting-car was seen driving + at full speed along the road near us. It came nearer and at length drew + up; two men leaped off and came towards us; one of whom, as he came + forward, took off his hat politely, and introduced himself as Mr. + O'Gorman, the fighting friend of Mark Anthony. + </p> + <p> + "It's a mighty unpleasant business I'm come upon, gentlemen," said he, + "Mr. Fitzpatrick has been unavoidedly prevented from having the happiness + to meet you this morning—" + </p> + <p> + "Then you can't expect us, sir, to dance attendance upon him here + to-morrow," said Curzon, interrupting. + </p> + <p> + "By no manner of means," replied the other, placidly; "for it would be + equally inconvenient for him to be here then. But I have only to say, + maybe you'd have the kindness to waive all etiquette, and let me stand in + his place." + </p> + <p> + "Certainly and decidedly not," said Curzon. "Waive etiquette!—why, + sir, we have no quarrel with you; never saw you before." + </p> + <p> + "Well, now, isn't this hard?" said Mr. O'Gorman, addressing his friend, + who stood by with a pistol-case under his arm; "but I told Mark that I was + sure they'd be standing upon punctilio, for they were English. Well, sir," + said he, turning towards Curzon, "there's but one way to arrange it now, + that I see. Mr. Fitzpatrick, you must know, was arrested this morning for + a trifle of L140. If you or your friend there, will join us in the bail we + can get him out, and he'll fight you in the morning to your satisfaction." + </p> + <p> + When the astonishment this proposal had created subsided, we assured Mr. + O'Gorman that we were noways disposed to pay such a price for our + amusement—a fact that seemed considerably to surprise both him and + his friend—and adding, that to Mr. Fitzpatrick personally, we should + feel bound to hold ourselves pledged at a future period, we left the + ground, Curzon laughing heartily at the original expedient thus suggested, + and I inwardly pronounced a most glowing eulogy on the law of imprisonment + for debt. + </p> + <p> + Before Mr. Fitzpatrick obtained the benefit of the act, we were ordered + abroad, and I have never since heard of him. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch40" id="ch40"></a>CHAPTER XL. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + THE TWO LETTERS. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + From the digression of the last chapter I was recalled by the sight of the + two letters which lay during my reverie unopened before me. I first broke + the seal of Lady Callonby's epistle, which ran thus: + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + "Munich, La Croix Blanche, + </p> + <p> + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer—I have just heard from Kilkee, that you + are at length about to pay us your long promised visit, and write + these few lines to beg that before leaving Paris you will kindly + execute for me the commissions of which I enclose a formidable list, + or at least as many of them as you can conveniently accomplish. Our + stay here now will be short, that it will require all your despatch to + overtake us before reaching Milan, Lady Jane's health requiring an + immediate change of climate. Our present plans are, to winter in + Italy, although such will interfere considerably with Lord Callonby, + who is pressed much by his friends to accept office. However, all this + and our other gossip I reserve for our meeting. Meanwhile, adieu, and + if any of my tasks bore you, omit them at once, except the white roses + and the Brussels veil, which Lady Jane is most anxious for. + </p> + <p> + "Sincerely yours,<br /> "Charlotte Callonby." + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + How much did these few and apparently common-place lines convey to me? + First, my visit was not only expected, but actually looked forward to, + canvassed—perhaps I might almost whisper to myself the flattery—wished + for. Again, Lady Jane's health was spoken of as precarious, less actual + illness—I said to myself—than mere delicacy requiring the + bluer sky and warmer airs of Italy. Perhaps her spirits were affected—some + mental malady—some ill-placed passion—que sais je? In fact my + brain run on so fast in its devisings, that by a quick process, less + logical than pleasing, I satisfied myself that the lovely Lady Jane + Callonby was actually in love, with whom let the reader guess at. And Lord + Callonby too, about to join the ministry—well, all the better to + have one's father-in-law in power—promotion is so cursed slow now + a-days. And lastly, the sly allusion to the commissions—the + mechancete of introducing her name to interest me. With such materials as + these to build upon, frail as they may seem to others, I found no + difficulty in regarding myself as the dear friend of the family, and the + acknowledged suitor of Lady Jane. + </p> + <p> + In the midst, however, of all my self-gratulation, my eye fell upon the + letter of Emily Bingham, and I suddenly remembered how fatal to all such + happy anticipations it might prove. I tore it open in passionate haste and + read— + </p> + <blockquote> + <blockquote> + <p> + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer—As from the interview we have had this + morning I am inclined to believe that I have gained your affections, I + think that I should ill requite such a state of your feeling for me, + were I to conceal that I cannot return you mine—in fact they are + not mine to bestow. This frank avowal, whatever pain it may have cost + me, I think I owe to you to make. You will perhaps say, the confession + should have been earlier; to which I reply, it should have been so, + had I known, or even guessed at the nature of your feelings for me. + For—and I write it in all truth, and perfect respect for you—I + only saw in your attentions the flirting habits of a man of the world, + with a very uninformed and ignorant girl of eighteen, with whom as it + was his amusement to travel, he deemed it worth his while to talk. I + now see, and bitterly regret my error, yet deem it better to make this + painful confession than suffer you to remain in a delusion which may + involve your happiness in the wreck of mine. I am most faithfully your + friend, + </p> + <p> + "Emily Bingham." + </p> + </blockquote> + </blockquote> + <p> + What a charming girl she is, I cried, as I finished the letter; how full + of true feeling, how honourably, how straight-forward: and yet it is + devilish strange how cunningly she played her part—and it seems now + that I never did touch her affections; Master Harry, I begin to fear you + are not altogether the awful lady-killer you have been thinking. Thus did + I meditate upon this singular note—my delight at being once more + "free" mingling with some chagrin that I was jockied, and by a young miss + of eighteen, too. Confoundedly disagreeable if the mess knew it, thought + I. Per Baccho—how they would quiz upon my difficulty to break off a + match, when the lady was only anxious to get rid of me. + </p> + <p> + This affair must never come to their ears, or I am ruined; and now, the + sooner all negociations are concluded the better. I must obtain a meeting + with Emily. Acknowledge the truth and justice of all her views, express my + deep regret at the issue of the affair, slily hint that I have been merely + playing her own game back upon her; for it would be the devil to let her + go off with the idea that she had singed me, yet never caught fire + herself; so that we both shall draw stakes, and part friends. + </p> + <p> + This valiant resolution taken, I wrote a very short note, begging an + interview, and proceeded to make as formidable a toilet as I could for the + forthcoming meeting; before I had concluded which, a verbal answer by her + maid informed me, that "Miss Bingham was alone, and ready to receive me." + </p> + <p> + As I took my way along the corridor, I could not help feeling that among + all my singular scrapes and embarassing situations through life, my + present mission was certainly not the least—the difficulty, such as + it was, being considerably increased by my own confounded "amour propre," + that would not leave me satisfied with obtaining my liberty, if I could + not insist upon coming off scathless also. In fact, I was not content to + evacuate the fortress, if I were not to march out with all the honours of + war. This feeling I neither attempt to palliate nor defend, I merely + chronicle it as, are too many of these confessions, a matter of truth, yet + not the less a subject for sorrow. + </p> + <p> + My hand was upon the lock of the door. I stopped, hesitated, and listened. + I certainly heard something. Yes, it is too true—she is sobbing. + What a total overthrow to all my selfish resolves, all my egotistical + plans, did that slight cadence give. She was crying—her tears for + the bitter pain she concluded I was suffering—mingling doubtless + with sorrow for her own sources of grief—for it was clear to me that + whoever may have been my favoured rival, the attachment was either unknown + to, or unsanctioned by the mother. I wished I had not listened; all my + determinations were completely routed and as I opened the door I felt my + heart beating almost audibly against my side. + </p> + <p> + In a subdued half-light—tempered through the rose-coloured curtains, + with a small sevres cup of newly-plucked moss-roses upon the table—sat, + or rather leaned, Emily Bingham, her face buried in her hands as I + entered. She did not hear my approach, so that I had above a minute to + admire the graceful character of her head, and the fine undulating curve + of her neck and shoulders, before I spoke. + </p> + <p> + "Miss Bingham," said I— + </p> + <p> + She started—looked up—her dark blue eyes, brilliant though + tearful, were fixed upon me for a second, as if searching my very inmost + thoughts. She held out her hand, and turning her head aside, made room for + me on the sofa beside her. Strange girl, thought I, that in the very + moment of breaking with a man for ever, puts on her most fascinating + toilette—arrays herself in her most bewitching manner, and gives him + a reception only calculated to turn his head, and render him ten times + more in love than ever. Her hand, which remained still in mine, was + burning as if in fever, and the convulsive movement of her neck and + shoulders showed me how much this meeting cost her. We were both silent, + till at length, feeling that any chance interruption might leave us as far + as ever from understanding each other, I resolved to begin. + </p> + <p> + "My dear, dear Emily," I said, "do not I entreat of you add to the misery + I am this moment enduring by letting me see you thus. Whatever your wrongs + towards me, this is far too heavy a retribution. My object was never to + make you wretched, if I am not to obtain the bliss, to strive and make you + happy." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Harry"—this was the first time she had ever so called me—"how + like you, to think of me—of me, at such a time, as if I was not the + cause of all our present unhappiness—but not wilfully, not + intentionally. Oh, no, no—your attentions—the flattery of your + notice, took me at once, and, in the gratification of my self-esteem, I + forgot all else. I heard, too, that you were engaged to another, and + believing, as I did, that you were trifling with my affections, I spared + no effort to win your's. I confess it, I wished this with all my soul." + </p> + <p> + "And now," said I, "that you have gained them"—Here was a pretty + sequel to my well matured plans!—"And now Emily"— + </p> + <p> + "But have I really done so?" said she, hurriedly turning round and fixing + her large full eyes upon me, while one of her hands played convulsively + through my hair—"have I your heart? your whole heart?" + </p> + <p> + "Can you doubt it, dearest," said I, passionately pressing her to my + bosom; and at the same time muttering, "What the devil's in the wind now; + we are surely not going to patch up our separation, and make love in + earnest." + </p> + <p> + There she lay, her head upon my shoulder, her long, brown, waving ringlets + falling loosely across my face and on my bosom, her hand in mine. What + were her thoughts I cannot guess—mine, God forgive me, were a + fervent wish either for her mother's appearance, or that the hotel would + suddenly take fire, or some other extensive calamity arise to put the + finishing stroke to this embarassing situation. + </p> + <p> + None of these, however, were destined to occur; and Emily lay still and + motionless as she was, scarce seeming to breathe, and pale as death. What + can this mean, said I, surely this is not the usual way to treat with a + rejected suitor; if it be, why then, by Jupiter the successful one must + have rather the worst of it—and I fervently hope that Lady Jane be + not at this moment giving his conge to some disappointed swain. She slowly + raised her long, black fringed eyelids, and looked into my face, with an + expression at once so tender and so plaintive, that I felt a struggle + within myself whether to press her to my heart, or—what the deuce + was the alternative. I hope my reader knows, for I really do not. And + after all, thought I, if we are to marry, I am only anticipating a little; + and if not, why then a "chaste salute," as Winifred Jenkins calls it, + she'll be none the worse for. Acting at once upon this resolve, I leaned + downwards, and passing back her ringlets from her now flushed cheek, I was + startled by my name, which I heard called several times in the corridor. + The door at the same instant was burst suddenly open, and Trevanion + appeared. + </p> + <p> + "Harry, Harry Lorrequer," cried he, as he entered; then suddenly checking + himself, added "a thousand, ten thousand pardons. But—" + </p> + <p> + "But what," cried I passionately, forgetting all save the situation of + poor Emily at the moment, "what can justify—" + </p> + <p> + "Nothing certainly can justify such an intrusion," said Trevanion, + finishing my sentence for me, "except the very near danger you run this + moment in being arrested. O'Leary's imprudence has compromised your + safety, and you must leave Paris within an hour." + </p> + <p> + "Oh, Mr. Trevanion," said Emily, who by this time had regained a more + befitting attitude, "pray speak out; what is it? is Harry—is Mr. + Lorrequer, I mean, in any danger?" + </p> + <p> + "Nothing of consequence, Miss Bingham, if he only act with prudence, and + be guided by his friends. Lorrequer, you will find me in your apartments + in half an hour—till then, adieu." + </p> + <p> + While Emily poured forth question after question, as to the nature and + extent of my present difficulty, I could not help thinking of the tact by + which Trevanion escaped, leaving me to make my adieux to Emily as best I + might—for I saw in a glance that I must leave Paris at once. I, + therefore, briefly gave her to understand the affair at the salon—which + I suspected to be the cause of the threatened arrest—and was about + to profess my unaltered and unalterable attachment, when she suddenly + stopped me. + </p> + <p> + "No, Mr. Lorrequer, no. All is over between us. We must never meet again—never. + We have been both playing a part. Good by—good by: do not altogether + forget me—and once more, Harry good by." + </p> + <p> + What I might have said, thought, or done, I know not; but the arrival of + Mrs. Bingham's carriage at the door left no time for any thing but escape. + So, once more pressing her hand firmly to my lips, I said—"au + revoir, Emily, au revoir, not good by," and rushing from the room, + regained my own, just as Mrs. Bingham reached the corridor. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + <a name="ch41" id="ch41"></a>CHAPTER XLI. + </h2> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + MR. O'LEARY'S CAPTURE. + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h3> + <a name="Mr._O_Leary_s_Double_Capture" id="Mr._O_Leary_s_Double_Capture">Mr. + O'Leary's Double Capture</a> + </h3> + <p> + <a href="images2/Ch41Mr.OLearysDoubleCapture.jpg"> <img + alt="Ch 41 Mr. O'Leary's Double Capture.jpg (70K)" + src="images/Ch41Mr.OLearysDoubleCapture.jpg" height="780" + width="480" /></a> <br /> <br /> <br /> + </p> + <p> + Does she really care for me? was my first question to myself as I left the + room. Is this story about pre-engaged affections merely a got up thing, to + try the force of my attachment for her? for, if not, her conduct is most + inexplicable; and great as my experience has been in such affairs, I avow + myself out maneuvered. While I thought over this difficulty, Trevanion + came up, and in a few words, informed me more fully upon what he hinted at + before. It appeared that O'Leary, much more alive to the imperative + necessity of avoiding detection by his sposa, than of involving himself + with the police, had thrown out most dark and mysterious hints in the + hotel as to the reason of his residence at Paris; fully impressed with the + idea that, to be a good Pole, he need only talk "revolutionary;" devote to + the powers below, all kings, czars, and kaisers; weep over the wrongs of + his nation; wear rather seedy habiliments, and smoke profusely. The latter + were with him easy conditions, and he so completely acted the former to + the life, that he had been that morning arrested in the Tuilleries + gardens, under several treasonable charges—among others, the + conspiracy, with some of his compatriots to murder the minister of war. + </p> + <p> + However laughable such an accusation against poor O'Leary, one + circumstance rendered the matter any thing but ludicrous. Although he must + come off free of this grave offence, yet, the salon transaction would + necessarily now become known; I should be immediately involved, and my + departure from Paris prevented. + </p> + <p> + "So," said Trevanion, as he briefly laid before me the difficulty of my + position, "you may perceive that however strongly your affections may be + engaged in a certain quarter, it is quite as well to think of leaving + Paris without delay. O'Leary's arrest will be followed by yours, depend + upon it; and once under the surveillance of the police, escape is + impossible." + </p> + <p> + "But, seriously, Trevanion," said I, nettled at the tone of raillery he + spoke in, "you must see that there is nothing whatever in that business. I + was merely taking my farewell of the fair Emily. Her affections have been + long since engaged, and I—" + </p> + <p> + "Only endeavouring to support her in her attachment to the more favoured + rival. Is it not so?" + </p> + <p> + "Come, no quizzing. Faith I began to feel very uncomfortable about parting + with her, the moment that I discovered that I must do so." + </p> + <p> + "So I guessed," said Trevanion, with a dry look, "from the interesting + scene I so abruptly trespassed upon. But you are right; a little bit of + tendresse is never misplaced, so long as the object is young, pretty, and + still more than all, disposed for it." + </p> + <p> + "Quite out; perfectly mistaken, believe me. Emily not only never cared for + me; but she has gone far enough to tell me so." + </p> + <p> + "Then, from all I know of such matters," replied he, "you were both in a + very fair way to repair that mistake on her part. But hark! what is this?" + A tremendous noise in the street here interrupted our colloquy, and on + opening the window, a strange scene presented itself to our eyes. In the + middle of a dense mass of moving rabble, shouting, yelling, and screaming, + with all their might, were two gens d'armes with a prisoner between them. + The unhappy man was followed by a rather well-dressed, middle-aged looking + woman, who appeared to be desirous of bestowing the most covam publico + endearments upon the culprit, whom a second glance showed us was O'Leary. + </p> + <p> + "I tell you, my dear madam, you are mistaken," said O'Leary, addressing + her with great sternness of manner and voice. + </p> + <p> + "Mistaken! Never, never. How could I ever be mistaken in that dear voice, + those lovely eyes, that sweet little nose?" + </p> + <p> + "Take her away; she's deranged," said O'Leary to the gens d'armes. "Sure, + if I'm a Pole, that's enough of misfortune." + </p> + <p> + "I'll follow him to the end of the earth, I will." + </p> + <p> + "I'm going to the galleys, God be praised," said O'Leary. + </p> + <p> + "To the galleys—to the guillotine—any where," responded she, + throwing herself upon his neck, much less, as it seemed, to his + gratification, than that of the mob, who laughed and shouted most + uproariously. + </p> + <p> + "Mrs. Ram, ain't you ashamed?" + </p> + <p> + "He calls me by my name," said she, "and he attempts to disown me. Ha! ha! + ha! ha!" and immediately fell off into a strong paroxysm of kicking, and + pinching, and punching the bystanders, a malady well known under the name + of hysterics; but being little more than a privileged mode, among certain + ladies, of paying off some scores, which it is not thought decent to do in + their more sober moments. + </p> + <p> + "Lead me away—anywhere—convict me of what you like," said he, + "but don't let her follow me." + </p> + <p> + The gens d'armes, who little comprehended the nature of the scene before + them, were not sorry to anticipate a renewal of it on Mrs. Ram's recovery, + and accordingly seized the opportunity to march on with O'Leary, who + turned the corner of the Rue Rivoli, under a shower of "meurtriers" and + "scelerats" from the mob, that fell fortunately most unconsciously upon + his ears. + </p> + <p> + The possibility of figuring in such a procession contributed much to the + force of Trevanion's reasonings, and I resolved to leave Paris at once. + </p> + <p> + "Promise me, then, to involve yourself in no more scrapes for + half-an-hour. Pack every thing you shall want with you, and, by seven + o'clock, I shall be here with your passport and all ready for a start." + </p> + <p> + With a beating brain, and in a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, I threw + my clothes hither and thither into my trunk; Lady Jane and Emily both + flitting every instant before my imagination, and frequently an + irresolution to proceed stopping all my preparations for departure, I sat + down musing upon a chair, and half determined to stay where I was, coute + qui coute. Finally, the possibility of exposure in a trial, had its + weight. I continued my occupation till the last coat was folded, and the + lock turned, when I seated myself opposite my luggage, and waited + impatiently for my friend's return. <br /> + </p> + <hr /> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, +Vol. 5, by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 5 *** + +***** This file should be named 5238-h.htm or 5238-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/3/5238/ + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 5 +by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, Vol. 5 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: October 27, 2006 [EBook #5238] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 5 *** + + + + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, Vol. 5 + +[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + + +Dublin + +MDCCCXXXIX. + + + +Volume 5. (Chapter XXIX-XLI) + + +Contents: + +CHAPTER XXIX +Captain Trevanion's Adventure + +CHAPTER XXX +Difficulties + +CHAPTER XXXI +Explanation + +CHAPTER XXXII +Mr O'Leary's First Love + +CHAPTER XXXIII +Mr O'Leary's Second Love + +CHAPTER XXXIV +The Duel + +CHAPTER XXXV +Early Recollections--A First Love + +CHAPTER XXXVI +Wise Resolves + +CHAPTER XXXVII +The Proposal + +CHAPTER XXXVIII +Thoughts upon Matrimony in general, and in the Army in particular--The +Knight of Kerry and Billy M'Cabe + +CHAPTER XXXIX +A Reminiscence + +CHAPTER XL +The Two Letters + +CHAPTER XLI +Mr O'Leary's Capture + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +CAPTAIN TREVANION'S ADVENTURE. + +As the day was now waning apace, and I was still unprovided with any one +who could act as my second, I set out upon a search through the various +large hotels in the neighbourhood, trusting that amid my numerous +acquaintance I should be fortunate enough to find some of them at Paris. +With a most anxious eye I scanned the lists of arrivals at the usual +haunts of my countrymen, in the Rue Rivoli, and the Place Vendome, but +without success; there were long catalogues of "Milors," with their +"couriers," &c. but not one name known to me in the number. + +I repaired to Galignani's library, which, though crowded as ever with +English, did not present to me one familiar face. From thence I turned +into the Palais Royale, and at last, completely jaded by walking, and +sick from disappointment, I sat down upon a bench in the Tuilleries +Garden. + +I had scarcely been there many minutes when a gentleman accosted me in +English, saying, "May I ask if this be your property?" showing, at the +same time, a pocket-book which I had inadvertently dropped in pulling out +my handkerchief. As I thanked him for his attention, and was about to +turn away, I perceived that he continued to look very steadily at me. At +length he said, + +"I think I am not mistaken; I have the pleasure to see Mr. Lorrequer, who +may perhaps recollect my name, Trevanion of the 43rd. The last time we +met was at Malta." + +"Oh, I remember perfectly. Indeed I should be very ungrateful if I did +not; for to your kind offices there I am indebted for my life. You must +surely recollect the street row at the 'Caserne?'" + +"Yes; that was a rather brisk affair while it lasted; but, pray, how long +are you here?" + +"Merely a few days; and most anxious am I to leave as soon as possible; +for, independently of pressing reasons to wish myself elsewhere, I have +had nothing but trouble and worry since my arrival, and at this instant +am involved in a duel, without the slightest cause that I can discover, +and, what is still worse, without the aid of a single friend to undertake +the requisite negociation for me." + +"If my services can in any way assist--" + +"Oh, my dear captain, this is really so great a favour that I cannot say +how much I thank you." + +"Say nothing whatever, but rest quite assured that I am completely at +your disposal; for although we are not very old friends, yet I have heard +so much of you from some of ours, that I feel as if we had been long +acquainted." + +This was an immense piece of good fortune to me; for, of all the persons +I knew, he was the most suited to aid me at this moment. In addition to +a thorough knowledge of the continent and its habits, he spoke French +fluently, and had been the most renomme authority in the duello to a +large military acquaintance; joining to a consummate tact and cleverness +in his diplomacy, a temper that never permitted itself to be ruffled, and +a most unexceptionable reputation for courage. In a word, to have had +Trevanion for your second, was not only to have secured odds in your +favour, but, still better, to have obtained the certainty that, let the +affair take what turn it might, you were sure of coming out of it with +credit. He was the only man I have ever met, who had much mixed himself +in transactions of this nature, and yet never, by any chance, had +degenerated into the fire-eater; more quiet, unassuming manners it was +impossible to meet with, and, in the various anecdotes I have heard of +him, I have always traced a degree of forbearance, that men of less known +bravery might not venture to practise. At the same time, when once +roused by any thing like premeditated insult--or pre-determined affront +--he became almost ungovernable, and it would be safer to beard the lion +in his den than cross his path. Among the many stories, and there were a +great many current in his regiment concerning him, there was one so +singularly characteristic of the man, that, as I have passingly mentioned +his name here, I may as well relate it; at the same time premising that, +as it is well known, I may only be repeating an often-heard tale to many +of my readers. + +When the regiment to which Trevanion belonged became part of the army of +occupation in Paris, he was left at Versailles seriously ill from the +effects of a sabre-wound he received at Waterloo, and from which his +recovery at first was exceedingly doubtful. At the end of several weeks, +however, he became out of danger, and was able to receive the visits of +his brother officers, whenever they were fortunate enough to obtain a +day's leave of absence, to run down and see him. From them he learned +that one of his oldest friends in the regiment had fallen in a duel, +during the time of his illness, and that two other officers were +dangerously wounded--one of whom was not expected to survive. When he +inquired as to the reasons of these many disasters, he was informed that +since the entrance of the allies into Paris, the French officers, boiling +with rage and indignation at their recent defeat, and smarting under the +hourly disgrace which the presence of their conquerors suggested, sought +out, by every means in their power, opportunities of insult; but always +so artfully contrived as to render the opposite party the challenger, +thus reserving to themselves the choice of weapons. When therefore it +is borne in mind that the French are the most expert swordsmen in Europe, +little doubt can exist as to the issue of these combats; and, in fact, +scarcely a morning passed without three or four English or Prussian +officers being carried through the Barriere de l'Etoile, if not dead, at +least seriously wounded, and condemned to carry with them through life +the inflictions of a sanguinary and savage spirit of revenge. + +While Trevanion listened to this sad recital, and scarcely did a day come +without adding to the long catalogue of disasters, he at once perceived +that the quiet deportment and unassuming demeanour which so strongly +characterise the English officer, were construed by their French +opponents into evidences of want of courage, and saw that to so +systematic a plan for slaughter no common remedy could be applied, and +that some "coup d'etat" was absolutely necessary, to put it down once +and for ever. + +In the history of these sanguinary rencontres, one name was continually +recurring, generally as the principal, sometimes the instigator of the +quarrel. This was an officer of a chasseur regiment, who had the +reputation of being the best swordsman in the whole French army, and was +no less distinguished for his "skill at fence," than his uncompromising +hatred of the British, with whom alone, of all the allied forces, he was +ever known to come in contact. So celebrated was the "Capitaine Augustin +Gendemar" for his pursuits, that it was well known at that time in Paris +that he was the president of a duelling club, associated for the express +and avowed object of provoking to insult, and as certainly dooming to +death every English officer upon whom they could fasten a quarrel. + +The Cafe Philidor, at that period in the Rue Vivienne, was the rendezvous +of this reputable faction, and here "le Capitaine" reigned supreme, +receiving accounts of the various "affairs" which were transacting +--counselling and plotting for the future. His ascendancy among his +countrymen was perfectly undisputed, and being possessed of great +muscular strength, with that peculiarly "farouche" exterior, without +which courage is nothing in France, he was in every way calculated for +the infamous leadership he assumed. + +It was, unfortunately, to this same cafe, being situated in what was +called the English quarter, that the officers of the 43rd regiment were +in the habit of resorting, totally unaware of the plots by which they +were surrounded, and quite unsuspecting the tangled web of deliberate and +cold-blooded assassination in which they were involved, and here took +place the quarrel, the result of which was the death of Trevanion's +friend, a young officer of great promise, and universally beloved in his +regiment. + +As Trevanion listened to these accounts, his impatience became daily +greater, that his weak state should prevent his being among his brother +officers, when his advice and assistance were so imperatively required, +and where, amid all the solicitude for his perfect recovery, he could not +but perceive they ardently wished for him. + +The day at last arrived, and restored to something like his former self, +Trevanion once more appeared in the mess-room of his regiment. Amid the +many sincere and hearty congratulations on his recovered looks, were not +a few half-expressed hints that he might not go much out into the world +for some little time to come. To these friendly admonitions Trevanion +replied by a good-humoured laugh, and a ready assurance that he +understood the intended kindness, and felt in no wise disposed to be +invalided again. "In fact," said he, "I have come up here to enjoy life +a little, not to risque it; but, among the sights of your gay capital, I +must certainly have a peep at your famed captain, of whom I have heard +too much not to feel an interest in him." + +Notwithstanding the many objections to this, made with a view to delay +his visit to the Philidor to a later period, it was at length agreed, +that they should all repair to the cafe that evening, but upon the +express understanding that every cause of quarrel should be strictly +avoided, and that their stay should be merely sufficient to satisfy +Trevanion's curiosity as to the personnel of the renomme captain. + +It was rather before the usual hour of the cafe's filling, that a number +of English officers, among whom was Trevanion, entered the "salon" of the +"Philidor;" having determined not to attract any unusual attention, they +broke into little knots and parties of threes and fours, and dispersed +through the room, where they either sipped their coffee or played at +dominoes, then, as now, the staple resource of a French cafe. + +The clock over the "comptoir" struck eight, and, at the same instant, +a waiter made his appearance, carrying a small table, which he placed +beside the fire, and, having trimmed a lamp, and placed a large fauteuil +before it, was about to withdraw, when Trevanion, whose curiosity was +roused by the singularity of these arrangements, determined upon asking +for whose comfort they were intended. The waiter stared for a moment at +the question, with an air as if doubting the seriousness of him who put +it, and at last replied--"Pour Monsieur le Capitaine, je crois," with a +certain tone of significance upon the latter words. + +"Le Capitaine! but what captain?" said he, carelessly; "for I am a +captain, and that gentleman there--and there, too, is another," at the +same instant throwing himself listlessly into the well-cushioned chair, +and stretching out his legs at full length upon the hearth. + +The look of horror which this quiet proceeding on his part, elicited from +the poor waiter, so astonished him that he could not help saying--"is +there any thing the matter with you, my friend; are you ill?" + +"No, monsieur, not ill; nothing the matter with me; but you, sir; oh, +you, sir, pray come away." + +"Me," said Trevanion; "me! why, my good man, I was never better in my +life; so now just bring me my coffee and the Moniteur, if you have it; +there, don't stare that way, but do as I bid you." + +There was something in the assured tone of these few words that either +overawed or repressed every rising feeling of the waiter, for his +interrogator; for, silently handing his coffee and the newspaper, he left +the room; not, however, without bestowing a parting glance so full of +terror and dismay that our friend was obliged to smile at it. All this +was the work of a few minutes, and not until the noise of new arrivals +had attracted the attention of his brother officers, did they perceive +where he had installed himself, and to what danger he was thus, as they +supposed, unwittingly exposed. + +It was now, however, too late for remonstrance; for already several +French officers had noticed the circumstance, and by their interchange of +looks and signs, openly evinced their satisfaction at it, and their +delight at the catastrophe which seemed inevitable to the luckless +Englishman. + +In perfect misery at what they conceived their own fault, in not +apprising him of the sacred character of that place, they stood silently +looking at him as he continued to sip his coffee, apparently unconscious +of every thing and person about him. + +There was now a more than ordinary silence in the cafe, which at all +times was remarkable for the quiet and noiseless demeanour of its +frequenters, when the door was flung open by the ready waiter, and the +Capitaine Augustin Gendemar entered. He was a large, squarely-built man, +with a most savage expression of countenance, which a bushy beard and +shaggy overhanging moustache served successfully to assist; his eyes were +shaded by deep, projecting brows, and long eyebrows slanting over them, +and increasing their look of piercing sharpness; there was in his whole +air and demeanour that certain French air of swaggering bullyism, which +ever remained in those who, having risen from the ranks, maintained the +look of ruffianly defiance which gave their early character for courage +peculiar merit. + +To the friendly salutations of his countrymen he returned the slightest +and coldest acknowledgments, throwing a glance of disdain around him as +he wended his way to his accustomed place beside the fire; this he did +with as much of noise and swagger as he could well contrive; his sabre +and sabretasch clanking behind, his spurs jangling, and his heavy step, +made purposely heavier to draw upon him the notice and attention he +sought for. Trevanion alone testified no consciousness of his entrance, +and appeared totally engrossed by the columns of his newspaper, from +which he never lifted his eyes for an instant. Le Capitaine at length +reached the fire-place, when, no sooner did he behold his accustomed seat +in the possession of another, than he absolutely started back with +surprise and anger. + +What might have been his first impulse it is hard to say, for, as the +blood rushed to his face and forehead, he clenched his hands firmly, and +seemed for an instant, as he eyed the stranger, like a tiger about to +spring upon its victim; this was but for a second, for turning rapidly +round towards his party, he gave them a look of peculiar meaning, showing +two rows of white teeth, with a grin which seemed to say, "I have taken +my line;" and he had done so. He now ordered the waiter, in a voice of +thunder, to bring him a chair, this he took roughly from him, and placed, +with a crash, upon the floor, exactly opposite that of Trevanion, and +still so near as scarcely to permit of his sitting down upon it. The +noisy vehemence of this action at last appeared to have roused +Trevanion's attention, for he now, for the first time, looked up from his +paper, and quietly regarded his vis-a-vis. There could not in the world +be a stronger contrast to the bland look and courteous expression of +Trevanion's handsome features, than the savage scowl of the enraged +Frenchman, in whose features the strong and ill-repressed workings of +passion were twitching and distorting every lineament and line; indeed no +words could ever convey one half so forcibly as did that look, insult +--open, palpable, deep, determined insult. + +Trevanion, whose eyes had been merely for a moment lifted from his +paper, again fell, and he appeared to take no notice whatever of the +extraordinary proximity of the Frenchman, still less of the savage and +insulting character of his looks. + +Le Capitaine, having thus failed to bring on the eclaircissement he +sought for, proceeded to accomplish it by other means; for, taking the +lamp, by the light of which Trevanion was still reading, he placed it at +his side of the table, and at the same instant stretching across his arm, +he plucked the newspaper from his hand, giving at the same moment a +glance of triumph towards the bystanders, as though he would say, "you +see what he must submit to." Words cannot describe the astonishment of +the British officers, as they beheld Trevanion, under this gross and open +insult, content himself by a slight smile and half bow, as if returning +a courtesy, and then throw his eyes downward, as if engaged in deep +thought, while the triumphant sneer of the French, at this unaccountable +conduct, was absolutely maddening to them to endure. + +But their patience was destined to submit to stronger proof, for at this +instant le Capitaine stretched forth one enormous leg, cased in his +massive jack-boot, and with a crash deposited the heel upon the foot of +their friend Trevanion. At length he is roused, thought they, for a +slight flush of crimson flitted across his cheek, and his upper lip +trembled with a quick spasmodic twitching; but both these signs were over +in a second, and his features were as calm and unmoved as before, and his +only appearance of consciousness of the affront, was given by his drawing +back his chair and placing his legs beneath it, as for protection. + +This last insult, and the tame forbearance with which it was submitted +to, produced all their opposite effects upon the by-standers, and +looks of ungovernable rage and derisive contempt were every moment +interchanging; indeed, were it not for the all-absorbing interest which +the two great actors in the scene had concentrated upon themselves, the +two parties must have come at once into open conflict. + +The clock of the cafe struck nine, the hour at which Gendemar always +retired, so calling to the waiter for his petit verre of brandy, he +placed his newspaper upon the table, and putting both his elbows upon it, +and his chin upon his hands, he stared full in Trevanion's face, with a +look of the most derisive triumph, meant to crown the achievement of the +evening. To this, as to all his former insults, Trevanion appeared still +insensible, and merely regarded him with his never--changing half smile; +the petite verre arrived; le Capitaine took it in his hand, and, with a +nod of most insulting familiarity, saluted Trevanion, adding with a loud +voice, so as to be heard on every side--"a votre courage, Anglais." He +had scarcely swallowed the liqueur when Trevanion rose slowly from his +chair, displaying to the astonished gaze of the Frenchman the immense +proportions and gigantic frame of a man well known as the largest officer +in the British army; with one stride he was beside the chair of the +Frenchman, and with the speed of lightening he seized his nose by one +hand, while with the other he grasped his lower jaw, and, wrenching open +his mouth with the strength of an ogre, he spat down his throat. + +So sudden was the movement, that before ten seconds had elapsed, all was +over, and the Frenchman rushed from the room, holding the fragments of +his jaw-bone, (for it was fractured!) And followed by his countrymen, +who, from that hour, deserted the Cafe Philidor, nor was there ever any +mention of the famous captain during the stay of the regiment in Paris. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +DIFFICULTIES. + +While we walked together towards Meurice, I explained to Trevanion the +position in which I stood; and having detailed, at full length, the +fracas at the Salon, and the imprisonment of O'Leary, entreated his +assistance in behalf of him, as well as to free me from some of my many +embarrassments. + +It was strange enough--though at first so pre-occupied was I with other +thoughts, that I paid but little attention to it--that no part of my +eventful evening seemed to make so strong an impression on him as my +mention of having seen my cousin Guy, and heard from him of the death of +my uncle. At this portion of my story he smiled, with so much +significance of meaning, that I could not help asking his reason. + +"It is always an unpleasant task, Mr. Lorrequer, to speak in any way, +however delicately, in a tone of disparagement of a man's relatives; and, +therefore, as we are not long enough acquainted--" + +"But pray," said I, "waive that consideration, and only remember the +position in which I now am. If you know any thing of this business, I +entreat you to tell me--I promise to take whatever you may be disposed to +communicate, in the same good part it is intended." + +"Well, then, I believe you are right; but, first, let me ask you, how do +you know of your uncle's death; for I have reason to doubt it?" + +"From Guy; he told me himself." + +"When did you see him, and where?" + +"Why, I have just told you; I saw him last night at the Salon." + +"And you could not be mistaken?" + +"Impossible! Besides, he wrote to me a note which I received this +morning--here it is." + +"Hem--ha. Well, are you satisfied that this is his handwriting?" said +Trevanion, as he perused the note slowly twice over. + +"Why, of course--but stop--you are right; it is not his hand, nor do I +know the writing, now that you direct my attention to it. But what can +that mean? You, surely, do not suppose that I have mistaken any one for +him; for, independent of all else, his knowledge of my family, and my +uncle's affairs, would quite disprove that." + +"This is really a complex affair," said Trevanion, musingly. "How long +may it be since you saw your cousin--before last night, I mean?" + +"Several years; above six, certainly." + +"Oh, it is quite possible, then," said Trevanion, musingly; "do you know, +Mr. Lorrequer, this affair seems much more puzzling to me than to you, +and for this plain reason--I am disposed to think you never saw your +cousin last night." + +"Why, confound it, there is one circumstance that I think may satisfy you +on that head. You will not deny that I saw some one, who very much +resembled him; and certainly, as he lent me above three thousand franks +to play with at the table, it looks rather more like his act than that of +a perfect stranger." + +"Have you got the money?" asked Trevanion dryly. + +"Yes," said I; "but certainly you are the most unbelieving of mortals, +and I am quite happy that I have yet in my possession two of the billets +de banque, for, I suppose, without them, you would scarcely credit me." +I here opened my pocket-book, and produced the notes. + +He took them, examined them attentively for an instant, held them between +him and the light, refolded them, and, having placed them in my +pocket-book, said--"I thought as much--they are forgeries." + +"Hold!" said I, "my cousin Guy, whatever wildness he may have committed, +is yet totally incapable of--" + +"I never said the contrary, replied Trevanion, in the same dry tone as +before. + +"Then what can you mean, for I see no alternative between that and +totally discrediting the evidence of my senses?" + +"Perhaps I can suggest a middle course," said Trevanion; "lend me, +therefore, a patient hearing for a few moments, and I may be able to +throw some light upon this difficult matter. You may never have heard +that there is, in this same city of Paris, a person so extremely like +your cousin Guy, that his most intimate friends have daily mistaken one +for the other, and this mistake has the more often been made, from the +circumstances of their both being in the habit of frequenting the same +class in society, where, knowing and walking with the same people, the +difficulty of discriminating has been greatly increased. This +individual, who has too many aliases for one to know which to +particularise him by, is one of that numerous order of beings whom a +high state of civilization is always engendering and throwing up on the +surface of society; he is a man of low birth and mean connexions, but +gifted with most taking manners and an unexceptionable address and +appearance; these advantages, and the possession of apparently +independent means, have opened to him the access to a certain set of +people, who are well known and well received in society, and obtained for +him, what he prizes much more, the admission into several clubs where +high play is carried on. In this mixed assemblage, which sporting habits +and gambling, (that grand leveller of all distinctions,) have brought +together, this man and your cousin Guy met frequently, and, from the +constant allusion to the wonderful resemblance between them, your +eccentric cousin, who, I must say, was never too select in his +acquaintances, frequently amused himself by practical jokes upon their +friends, which served still more to nurture the intimacy between them; +and from this habit, Mr. Dudley Morewood, for such is his latest +patronymic, must have enjoyed frequent opportunities of hearing much of +your family and relations, a species of information he never neglected, +though at the moment it might appear not so immediately applicable to his +purposes. Now, this man, who knows of every new English arrival in +Paris, with as much certainty as the police itself, would at once be +aware of your being here, and having learned from Guy how little +intercourse there had been of late years between you, would not let slip +an opportunity of availing himself of the likeness, if any thing could +thereby turn to his profit." + +"Stop," cried I; "you have opened my eyes completely, for now I remember +that, as I continued to win last night, this man, who was playing hazard +at another table, constantly borrowed from me, but always in gold, +invariably refusing the billets de banque as too high for his game." + +"There his object was clear enough; for besides obtaining your gold, he +made you the means of disseminating his false billets de banque." + +"So that I have been actually playing and winning upon this fellow's +forgeries," said I; "and am perhaps at this very instant inscribed in the +'Livre noir' of the police, as a most accomplished swindler; but what +could be the intention of his note of this morning?" + +"As to that," said Trevanion, "it is hard to say; one thing you may +assuredly rely upon--it is not an unnecessary epistle, whatever be its +object; he never wastes his powder when the game flies too high; so we +must only wait patiently for the unravelment of his plans, satisfied that +we, at least, know something. What most surprises me is, his venturing, +at present, to appear in public; for it is not above two months since an +escapade of his attracted so much attention of the play world here, that +he was obliged to leave, and it was supposed that he would never return +to Paris." + +"One piece of good fortune there is at least," said I, "which, I can +safely say repays me for any and all the annoyance this unhappy affair +may cause me; it is, that my poor old uncle is still alive and well. +Not all my anticipated pleasures, in newly acquired wealth, could have +afforded me the same gratification that this fact does, for, although +never so much his favourite as my cousin, yet the sense of protection +--the feeling of confidence, which is inseparable from the degree of +relationship between us--standing, as he has ever done, in the light +of a father to me, is infinitely more pleasurable than the possession of +riches, which must ever suggest to me, the recollection of a kind friend +lost to me for ever. But so many thoughts press on me--so many effects +of this affair are staring me in the face--I really know not which way to +turn, nor can I even collect my ideas sufficiently, to determine what is +first to be done." + +"Leave all that to me," said Trevanion; "it is a tangled web, but I think +I can unravel it; meanwhile, where does the Militaire reside? for, among +all your pressing engagements, this affair with the Frenchman must come +off first; and for this reason, although you are not really obliged to +give him satisfaction, by his merely producing your card, and insisting +that you are to be responsible for the misdeeds of any one who might show +it as his own address, yet I look upon it as a most fortunate thing, +while charges so heavy may be at this moment hanging over your head, as +the proceedings of last night involve, that you have a public opportunity +of meeting an antagonist in the field--thereby evincing no fear of +publicity, nor any intention of absconding; for be assured, that the +police are at this moment in possession of what has occurred, and from +the fracas which followed, are well disposed to regard the whole as a +concerted scheme to seize upon the property of the banque, a not uncommon +wind-up here after luck fails. My advice is therefore, meet the man at +once; I shall take care that the prefect is informed that you have been +imposed upon by a person passing himself off as your relative, and enter +bail for your appearance, whenever you are called upon; that being done, +we shall have time for a moment's respite to look around us, and consider +the other bearings of this difficult business." + +"Here, then, is the card of address," said I; "Eugene Dejoncourt +Capitaine de Cavalerie, No. 8, Chausse D'Antin." + +"Dejoncourt! why, confound it, this is not so pleasant; he is about the +best shot in Paris, and a very steady swordsman besides, I don't like +this." + +"But you forget he is the friend, not the principal here." + +"The more good fortune yours," said Trevanion, drily; "for I acknowledge +I should not give much for your chance at twenty paces opposite his +pistol; then who is the other?" + +"Le Baron d'Haulpenne," said I, "and his name is all that I know of him; +his very appearance is unknown to me." + +"I believe I am acquainted with him," said Trevanion; "but here we are at +Meurice. Now I shall just write a few lines to a legal friend, who will +manage to liberate Mr. O'Leary, whose services we shall need, two persons +are usual on each side in this country, and then, 'a l'ouvrage.'" + +The note written and despatched; Trevanion jumped into a cab, and set out +for the Chausse D'Antin; leaving me to think over, as well as I could, +the mass of trouble and confusion that twenty-four hours of life in Paris +had involved me in. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +EXPLANATION. + +It was past seven o'clock when Trevanion made his appearance, accompanied +by O'Leary; and having in few words informed me that a meeting was fixed +for the following morning, near St. Cloud, proposed that we should go to +dinner at Verey's, after which we should have plenty of time to discuss +the various steps to be taken. As we were leaving the hotel for this +purpose, a waiter requested of me to permit Mr. Meurice to speak a few +words to me; which, having agreed to, I entered the little bureau where +this Czar of hotels sits enthroned, and what was my surprise to learn the +request he had to prefer, was nothing less than that I would so far +oblige him as to vacate the room I possessed in the hotel, adding that my +compliance would confer upon him the power to accommodate a "milor" who +had written for apartments, and was coming with a large suite of +servants. Suspecting that some rumour of the late affair at Frescati +might have influenced my friend Meurice in this unusual demand, I +abruptly refused, and was about to turn away, when he, perhaps guessing +that I had not believed his statements, handed me an open letter, saying, +"You see, sir, this is the letter; and, as I am so pressed for spare +room, I must now refuse the writer." + +As my eye glanced at the writing, I started back with amazement to +perceive it was in my cousin Guy's hand, requesting that apartments might +be retained for Sir Guy Lorrequer, my uncle, who was to arrive in Paris +by the end of the week. If any doubt had remained on my mind as to the +deception I had been duped by, this would completely have dispelled it, +but I had long before been convinced of the trick, and only wondered how +the false Guy--Mr. Dudley Morewood--had contrived to present himself to +me so opportunely, and by what means, in so short a space of time, he had +become acquainted with my personal appearance. + +As I mentioned this circumstance of the letter to Trevanion, he could not +conceal his satisfaction at his sagacity in unravelling the mystery, +while this new intelligence confirmed the justness and accuracy of all +his explanations. + +While we walked along towards the Palais Royale, Trevanion endeavoured +not very successfully, to explain to my friend O'Leary, the nature of the +trick which had been practised, promising, at another time, some +revelations concerning the accomplished individual who had planned it, +which, in boldness and daring, eclipsed even this. + +Any one who in waking has had the confused memory of a dream in which +events have been so mingled and mixed as to present no uniform narrative, +but only a mass of strange and incongruous occurrences, without object or +connexion, may form some notion of the state of restless excitement my +brain suffered from, as the many and conflicting ideas my late adventures +suggested, presented themselves to my mind in rapid succession. + +The glare, the noise, and the clatter of a French cafe are certainly not +the agents most in request for restoring a man to the enjoyment of his +erring faculties; and, if I felt addled and confused before, I had +scarcely passed the threshold of Verey's when I became absolutely like +one in a trance. The large salon was more than usually crowded, and it +was with difficulty that we obtained a place at a table where some other +English were seated, among whom I recognised by lately made acquaintance, +Mr. Edward Bingham. + +Excepting a cup of coffee I had taken nothing the entire day, and so +completely did my anxieties of different kinds subdue all appetite, that +the most recherche viands of this well-known restaurant did not in the +least tempt me. The champagne alone had any attraction for me; and, +seduced by the icy coldness of the wine, I drank copiously. This was all +that was wanting to complete the maddening confusion of my brain, and the +effect was instantaneous; the lights danced before my eyes; the lustres +whirled round; and, as the scattered fragments of conversations, on +either side met my ear, I was able to form some not very inaccurate +conception of what insanity may be. Politics and literature, Mexican +bonds and Noblet's legs, Pates de perdreaux and the quarantine laws, the +extreme gauche and the "Bains Chinois," Victor Hugo and rouge et noir, +had formed a species of grand ballet d'action in my fevered brain, and I +was perfectly beside myself; occasionally, too, I would revert to my own +concerns, although I was scarcely able to follow up any train of thought +for more than a few seconds together, and totally inadequate to +distinguish the false from the true. I continued to confound the +counterfeit with my cousin, and wonder how my poor uncle, for whom I was +about to put on the deepest mourning, could possibly think of driving me +out of my lodgings. Of my duel for the morning, I had the most shadowy +recollection, and could not perfectly comprehend whether it was O'Leary +or I was the principal, and indeed cared but little. In this happy state +of independent existence I must have passed a considerable time, and as +my total silence when spoken to, or my irrelevant answers, appeared to +have tired out my companions, they left me to the uninterrupted enjoyment +of my own pleasant imaginings. + +"Do you hear, Lorrequer," at last said Trevanion; "are you asleep, my +dear friend? This gentleman has been good enough to invite us to +breakfast to-morrow at St. Cloud." + +I looked up, and was just able to recognise the well-trimmed moustache of +Mr. Edward Bingham, as he stood mumbling something before me. "St. Cloud +--what of St. Cloud?" said I. + +"We have something in that quarter to-morrow." + +"What is it, O'Leary? Can we go?" + +"Oh! certainly--our engagement's an early one." + +"We shall accept your polite invitation with pleasure"-- + +Here he stooped over, and whispered something in my ear; what, I cannot +say, but I know that my reply, now equally lost to me, produced a hearty +fit of laughing to my two friends. + +My next recollection is, finding myself in a crowded loge at the theatre. +It seems that O'Leary had acceded to a proposal from some of the other +party to accompany them to the Porte St. Martin, where Mrs. Bingham and +her daughter had engaged a box. Amid all the confusion which troubled +thoughts and wine produced in me, I could not help perceiving a studied +politeness and attention on the part of Mr. Edward Bingham towards me; +and my first sobering reflection came, on finding that a place was +reserved for me beside Miss Bingham, into which, by some contrivance I +can in no wise explain, I found myself almost immediately installed. To +all the excitements of champagne and punch, let the attractions of a +French ballet be added, and, with a singularly pretty companion at your +side, to whom you have already made sufficient advances to be aware that +you are no longer indifferent to her, and I venture to predict, that it +is much more likely your conversation will incline to flirting than +political economy; and, moreover, that you make more progress during the +performance of one single pas de deux upon the stage, than you have +hitherto done in ten morning calls, with an unexceptionable whisker and +the best fitting gloves in Paris. Alas! alas! it is only the rich man +that ever wins at rouge et noir. The well-insured Indiaman, with her +cargo of millions, comes safe into port; while the whole venture of some +hardy veteran of the wave, founders within sight of his native shore. So +is it ever; where success would be all and every thing, it never comes +--but only be indifferent or regardless, and fortune is at your feet, +suing and imploring your acceptance of her favours. What would I not +have given for one half of that solicitude now so kindly expressed in my +favour by Miss Bingham, if syllabled by the lips of Lady Jane Callonby +--how would my heart have throbbed for one light smile from one, while I +ungratefully basked in the openly avowed preference of the other. These +were my first thoughts--what were the succeeding ones? + +"Comment elle est belle," said a Frenchwoman, turning round in the box +next to us, and directing at the same moment the eyes of a moustached +hero upon my fair companion. + +What a turn to my thoughts did this unexpected ejaculation give rise to! +I now began to consider her more attentively, and certainly concurred +fully in the Frenchwoman's verdict. I had never see her look half so +well before. The great fault in her features, which were most +classically regular, lay in the monotony and uniform character of their +expression. Now this was quite changed. Her cheek was slightly flushed, +and her eyes more brilliant than ever; while her slightly parted lips +gave a degree of speaking earnestness to her expression, that made her +perfectly beautiful. + +Whether it was from this cause I cannot say, but I certainly never felt +so suddenly decided in my life from one course to its very opposite, as I +now did to make l'aimable to my lovely companion. And here, I fear, I +must acknowledge, in the honesty of these confessional details, that +vanity had also its share in the decision. To be the admitted and +preferred suitor of the prettiest woman in company, is generally a strong +inducement to fall desperately in love with her, independently of other +temptations for so doing. + +How far my successes tallied with my good intentions in this respect, I +cannot now say. I only remember, that more than once O'Leary whispered +to me something like a caution of some sort or other; but Emily's +encouraging smiles and still more encouraging speeches had far more +effect upon me than all the eloquence of the united service, had it been +engaged in my behalf, would have effected. Mrs. Bingham, too--who, to do +her justice, seemed but little cognisant of our proceedings--from time to +time evinced that species of motherly satisfaction which very young men +rejoice much in, and older ones are considerably alarmed at. + +The play over O'Leary charged himself with the protection of madam, +while I enveloped Emily in her cachmere, and drew her arm within my own. +What my hand had to do with her's I know not; it remains one of the +unexplained difficulties of that eventful evening. I have, it is true, +a hazy recollection of pressing some very taper and delicately formed +finger--and remember, too, the pain I felt next morning on awaking, by +the pressure of a too tight ring, which had, by some strange accident, +found its way to my finger, for which its size was but ill adapted. + +"You will join us at supper, I hope," said Mrs. Bingham, as Trevanion +handed her to her carriage. "Mr. Lorrequer, Mr. O'Leary, we shall expect +you." + +I was about to promise to do so, when Trevanion, suddenly interrupted +me, saying that he had already accepted an invitation, which would, +unfortunately, prevent us; and having hastily wished the ladies good +night, hurried me away so abruptly, that I had not a moment given for +even one parting look at the fair Emily. + +"Why, Trevanion," said I, "what invitation are you dreaming of? I, for +one, should have been delighted to have gone home with the Binghams." + +"So I perceived," said Trevanion, gravely; "and it was for that precise +reason I so firmly refused what, individually, I should have been most +happy to accept." + +"Then, pray, have the goodness to explain." + +"It is easily done. You have already, in recounting your manifold +embarrassments, told me enough of these people, to let me see that they +intend you should marry among them; and, indeed, you have gone quite far +enough to encourage such an expectation. Your present excited state has +led you sufficiently far this evening, and I could not answer for your +not proposing in all form before the supper was over; therefore, I had no +other course open to me than positively to refuse Mrs. Bingham's +invitation. But here we are now at the 'Cadran rouge;' we shall have our +lobster and a glass of Moselle, and then to bed, for we must not forget +that we are to be at St. Cloud by seven." + +"Ah! that is a good thought of yours about the lobster," said O'Leary; +"and now, as you understand these matters, just order supper, and let us +enjoy ourselves." + +With all the accustomed despatch of a restaurant, a most appetizing petit +souper made its speedy appearance; and although now perfectly divested of +the high excitement which had hitherto possessed me, my spirits were +excellent, and I never more relished our good fare and good fellowship. + +After a full bumper to the health of the fair Emily had been proposed and +drained by all three, Trevanion again explained how much more serious +difficulty would result from any false step in that quarter than from all +my other scrapes collectively. + +This he represented so strongly, that for the first time I began to +perceive the train of ill consequences that must inevitably result, and +promised most faithfully to be guided by any counsel he might feel +disposed to give me. + +"Ah! what a pity," said O'Leary, "it is not my case. It's very little +trouble it would cost any one to break off a match for me. I had always +a most peculiar talent for those things. + +"Indeed!" said Trevanion. "Pray, may we know your secret? for, perhaps, +ere long we may have occasion for its employment." + +"Tell it, by all means," said I. + +"If I do," said O'Leary, "it will cost you a patient hearing; for my +experiences are connected with two episodes in my early life, which, +although not very amusing, are certainly instructive." + +"Oh! by all means, let us hear them," said Trevanion; "for we have yet +two bottles of chambertin left, and must finish them ere we part." + +"Well, agreed," said O'Leary; "only, once for all, as what I am about to +confide is strictly confidential, you must promise never even to allude +to it hereafter in even the most remote manner, much less indulge in any +unseemly mirth at what I shall relate." + +Having pledged ourselves to secrecy and a becoming seriousness, O'Leary +began his story as follows:-- + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +MR. O'LEARY'S FIRST LOVE. + +"It was during the vice-royalty of the late Duke of Richmond that the +incidents I am about to mention took place. That was a few years since, +and I was rather younger, and a little more particular about my dress +than at present." Here the little man cast an eye of stoical +satisfaction upon his uncouth habiliments, that nearly made us forget our +compact, and laugh outright. "Well, in those wild and headstrong days of +youthful ardour, I fell in love--desperately in love--and as always is, I +believe, the case with our early experiments in that unfortunate passion, +the object of my affection was in every way unsuited to me. She was a +tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed maiden, with a romantic imagination, and a +kind of a half-crazed poetic fervour, that often made me fear for her +intellect. I'm a short, rather fat--I was always given this way"--here +he patted a waistcoat that would fit Dame Lambert--"happy-minded little +fellow, that liked my supper of oysters at the Pigeon-house, and my other +creature-comforts, and hated every thing that excited or put one out of +one's way, just as I would have hated a blister. Then, the devil would +have it--for as certainly as marriages are made in heaven, flirtations +have something to say to the other place--that I should fall most +irretrievably in love with Lady Agnes Moreton. Bless my soul, it +absolutely puts me in a perspiration this hot day, just to think over all +I went through on her account; for, strange to say, the more I appeared +to prosper in her good graces, the more did she exact on my part; the +pursuit was like Jacob's ladder--if it did lead to heaven it was +certainly an awfully long journey, and very hard on one's legs. There +was not an amusement she could think of, no matter how unsuited to my +tastes or my abilities, that she did not immediately take a violent fancy +to; and then there was no escaping, and I was at once obliged to go with +the tide, and heaven knows if it would not have carried me to my grave if +it were not for the fortunate (I now call it) accident that broke off the +affair for ever. One time she took a fancy for yachting, and all the +danglers about her--and she always had a cordon of them--young +aides-de-camp of her father the general, and idle hussars, in clanking +sabertasches and most absurd mustachios--all approved of the taste, and +so kept filling her mind with anecdotes of corsairs and smugglers, that +at last nothing would satisfy her till I--I who always would rather have +waited for low water, and waded the Liffey in all its black mud, than +cross over in the ferry-boat, for fear of sickness--I was obliged to put +an advertisement in the newspaper for a pleasure-boat, and, before three +weeks, saw myself owner of a clinker-built schooner, of forty-eight tons, +that by some mockery of fortune was called 'The Delight.' I wish you saw +me, as you might have done every morning for about a month, as I stood on +the Custom-house quay, giving orders for the outfit of the little craft. +At first, as she bobbed and pitched with the flood-tide, I used to be a +little giddy and rather qualmish, but at last I learned to look on +without my head reeling. I began to fancy myself very much of a sailor, +a delusion considerably encouraged by a huge P. jacket and a sou'-wester, +both of which, though it was in the dog-days, Agnes insisted upon my +wearing, saying I looked more like Dirk Hatteraick, who, I understood, +was one of her favourite heroes in Walter Scott. In fact, after she +suggested this, she and all her friends called me nothing but Dirk. + +"Well, at last, after heaven knows how many excuses on my part, and +entreaties for delay, a day was appointed for our first excursion. I +shall never forget that day--the entire night before it I did not close +my eyes; the skipper had told me in his confounded sea-jargon, that if +the wind was in one quarter we should have a short tossing sea; and if in +another a long rolling swell; and if in a third, a happy union of both +--in fact, he made it out that it could not possibly blow right, an +opinion I most heartily coincided in, and most devoutly did I pray for a +calm, that would not permit of our stirring from our moorings, and thus +mar our projected party of pleasure. My prayer was unheard, but my hopes +rose on the other hand, for it blew tremendously during the entire night, +and although there was a lull towards morning, the sea, even in the +river, was considerable. + +"I had just come to the conclusion that I was safe for this time, when +the steward poked his head into the room and said, + +"'Mr. Brail wishes to know, sir, if he'll bend the new mainsail to-day, +as it's blowing rather fresh, and he thinks the spars light.' + +"'Why the devil take him, he would not have us go out in a hurricane; +surely, Pipes, we could not take out ladies to-day?' + +"'O, bless your heart, yes, sir; it blows a bit to be sure, but she's a +good sea-boat, and we can run for Arklow or the Hook, if it comes +fresher.' + +"'Oh, nonsense, there's no pleasure in that; besides I'm sure they won't +like it--the ladies won't venture, you'll see.' + +"'Ay sir, but they're all on board already: there's eight ladies in the +cabin, and six on deck, and as many hampers of victuals and as much +crockery as if we were a-goin' to Madeira. Captain Grantham, sir, the +soldier officer, with the big beard, is a mixing punch in the grog-tub.' + +"'From the consequences of this day I proclaim myself innocent,' said I +with a solemn voice, as I drew on my duck trowsers, and prepared to set +out. + +"'And the mainsail, sir,' said the steward, not understanding what I +said. + +"'I care not which,' said I, doggedly; 'act or part in this wilful +proceeding I'll not take.' + +"'Ay, ay, sir,' said the stupid wretch, 'then I'll say you're coming, and +he may stretch the large canvas; for the skipper says he likes a wet +jacket when he has gentlemen out.' + +"Never did a victim put on a flame-coloured garment, the emblem of fate, +and set out on the march of death, with a heavier heart, than did I put +on my pilot-coat that morning to join my friends. + +"My last hope deserted me as I saw the little vessel lying beside the +quay; for I continued to trust that in getting out from the dock some +accident or mischance might occur to spoil our sport. But no; there she +lay, rolling and pitching in such a way that, even at anchor, they could +not stand on the deck without holding. Amid the torrent of compliments +for the perfection of all my arrangements, and innumerable sweet things +on my taste in the decoration and fitting up of my cabin, I scarcely felt +myself afloat for some minutes, and we got under weigh amid a noise and +uproar that absolutely prevented the possibility of thought. + +"Hitherto our destination had not been mentioned, and as all the party +appealed to Lady Agnes, I could not be less gallant, and joined them in +their request. + +"'Well then, what do you think of Lambay?' said she, looking at the same +moment towards the skipper. + +"'We can make it, my lady,' said the man, 'but we'll have a roughish sea +of it, for there's a strong point of westward in the wind.' + +"'Then don't think of it,' said I. 'We have come out for pleasure, not +to make our friends sick, or terrify them. It does very well for us +men.' + +"'There you are, Dirk, with your insolent sneers about women's nerves and +female cowardice. Now, nothing but Lambay will content me--what say you, +ladies?' + +"A general reply of approval met this speech, and it was carried by +acclamation. + +"'Lambay then be it,' said I, with the voice of a man, who, entreating to +be shot, is informed that he cannot be afforded that pleasure, as his +sentence is to be hanged. But I must hasten over these painful +recollections. We dropped down the river, and soon left the light-house +and its long pier behind us, the mast bending like a whip, and the sea +boiling like barm over the lee gunwale. Still the spirit of our party +only rose the lighter, and nothing but eulogies upon the men and sailing +of the craft resounded on all sides; the din and buz of the conversation +went on only more loudly and less restrictedly than if the party had been +on shore, and all, even myself, seemed happy, for up to this moment I had +not been sea-sick, yet certain pleasant sensations, that alternately +evinced themselves in my stomach and my head, warned me of what was in +store for me. The word was now given to tack; I was in the act of +essaying a soft speech to Lady Agnes, when the confounded cry of 'ready +about, starboard there, let go sheets and tacks, stand by, hawl.' The +vessel plunged head-foremost into the boiling sea, which hissed on either +bow; the heavy boom swung over, carrying my hat along with it--and almost +my head too. The rest of the party, possibly better informed than +myself, speedily changed their places to the opposite side of the boat, +while I remained holding off fast by the gunwale, till the sea rushing +over, what was now becoming the lee-side, carried me head over heels into +the shingle ballast in the waist. Lord, how they did laugh! Agnes, too, +who never before could get beyond a very faint smile, grew almost +hysterical at my performance. As for me, I only wanted this to complete +my long threatened misfortune; sea sickness in all its most miserable +forms, set in upon me, and, ere half an hour, I lay upon that heap of +small stones, as indifferent to all round and about me as though I were +dead. Oh, the long, dreary hours of that melancholy day; it seemed like +a year. They tacked and tacked, they were beat and tacked again, the sea +washing over me, and the ruffianly sailors trampling upon me without the +slightest remorse, whenever they had any occasion to pass back or +forward. From my long trance of suffering I was partly roused by the +steward shaking my shoulder, saying, + +"'The gentlemen wish to know, sir, if you'd like summat to eat, as +they're a goin' to have a morsel; we are getting into slack water now.' + +"'Where are we?' I replied, in a sepulchral voice. + +"'Off the Hook, sir; we have had a most splendid run, but I fear we'll +catch it soon; there's some dirty weather to the westward.' + +"'God grant it,' said I, piously and in a low tone. + +"'Did you say you'd have a bit to eat. Sir?' + +"'No!--eat!--am I a cannibal?--eat--go away--mark me, my good fellow, +I'll pay you your wages, if ever we get ashore; you'll never set another +foot aboard with me.' + +"The man looked perfectly astounded as he moved away, and my thoughts +were soon engrossed by the proceedings near me. The rattle of knives, +and the jingling of plates and glasses went on very briskly for some +time, accompanied by various pleasant observations of my guests, for such +I judged them, from the mirth which ever followed them. At last I +thought I heard my name, or at least what they pleased to use as its +substitute, mentioned; I strained my ears to listen, and learnt that they +were planning to talk over the pretended intention to run for Cowes, and +see the regatta. This they discussed then, for about twenty minutes, in +a very loud voice, purposely to see its effects upon me; but as I was now +aware of the trick, I gave no sign of any intelligence. + +"'Poor Dirk,' said Grantham; 'I believe by this time he cares very little +which way her head lies; but here comes something better than all our +discussions. Lady Agnes, sit here--Miss Pelham, here's a dry cushion for +you--did you say a wing, Lady Mary?' + +"Now began the crash and clatter of dinner; champagne corks popping, +glasses ringing, and all that peculiar admixture of fracas and fun, which +accompanies a scrambled meal. How they did laugh, and eat, ay, and drink +too. G's punch seemed to have its success, for sick as I was, I could +perceive the voices of the men grow gradually louder, and discovered that +two gentlemen who had been remarkably timid in the morning, and scarcely +opened their lips, were now rather uproariously given, and one even +proposed to sing. + +"If any man, thought I, were to look for an instant at the little scene +now enacting here, what a moral might he reap from it; talk of the base +ingratitude of the world, you cannot say too much of it. Who would +suppose that it was my boat these people were assembled in; that it was +my champagne these people were drinking; that my venison and my pheasants +were feeding those lips, which rarely spoke, except to raise a jest at my +expense. My chagrin increased my sickness and my sickness redoubled my +chagrin. + +"'Mr. Brail,' said I, in a low whisper, 'Mr. Brail.' + +"'Did you speak, sir?' said he, with about as much surprise in his +manner, as though he had been addressed by a corpse. + +"'Mr. Brail,' said I, 'is there any danger here?' + +"'Lord love you, no, sir, she's walking Spanish, and the sea going down; +we shall have lovely weather, and they're all enjoying it, sir,--the +ladies.' + +"'So I perceive,' said I, with a groan; 'so I perceive; but Mr. Brail, +could you do nothing--just to--to startle them a little, I mean for fun +only? Just ship a heavy sea or two, I don't care for a little damage, +Mr. Brail, and if it were to wash over the dinner-service, and all the +wine, I should not like it worse.' + +"'Why, sir, you are getting quite funny, the sickness is going.' + +"'No, Mr. Brail, worse than ever; my head is in two pieces, and my +stomach in the back of my mouth; but I should like you to do this--so +just manage it, will you, and there's twenty pounds in my pocket-book, +you can have it; there now, won't you oblige me, and hark ye, Mr. Brail +--if Captain Grantham were to be washed over by mere accident it cannot +be helped; accidents are always occurring in boating parties. Go now, +you know what I mean.' + +"'But sir,' began he. + +"'Well, then, Mr. Brail, you won't--very well: now all I have to say is +this: that the moment I can find strength to do it, I'll stave out a +plank; I'll scuttle the vessel, that's all; I have made up my mind, and +look to yourselves now.' + +"Saying these words, I again threw myself upon the ballast, and, as the +gay chorus of a drinking song was wafted across me, prayed devoutly that +we might all go down to the bottom. The song over, I heard a harsh, +gruff voice mixing with the more civilized tones of the party, and soon +perceived that Mr. Brail was recounting my proposal amid the most +uproarious shouts of laughter I ever listened to. Then followed a number +of pleasant suggestions for my future management; one proposing to have +me tried for mutiny, and sentenced to a ducking over the side, another +that I should be tarred on my back, to which latter most humane notion, +the fair Agnes subscribed, averring that she was resolved upon my +deserving my sobriquet of Dirk Hatteraick. My wrath was now the master +even of deadly sickness. I got upon my knees, and having in vain tried +to reach my legs, I struggled aft. In this posture did I reach the +quarter-deck. What my intention precisely was in this excursion, I have +no notion of now, but I have some very vague idea, that I meant to +re-enact the curse of Kehama upon the whole party. At last I mustered +strength to rise; but alas! I had scarcely reached the standing position, +when a tremendous heel of the boat to one side, threw me in the gunwale, +and before I was able to recover my balance, a second lurch pitched me +headlong into the sea. I have, thank God, no further recollection of my +misfortunes. When I again became conscious, I found myself wrapped up in +a pilot-coat, while my clothes were drying: the vessel was at anchor in +Wexford. My attached friends had started for town with post-horses, +leaving me no less cured of love than aquatics. + +"'The Delight' passed over in a few days, to some more favoured son of +Neptune, and I hid my shame and my misfortunes by a year's tour on the +continent." + +"Although I acknowledge," said Trevanion, "that hitherto I have reaped no +aid from Mr. O'Leary's narrative, yet I think it is not without a moral." + +"Well, but," said I, "he has got another adventure to tell us; we have +quite time for it, so pray pass the wine and let us have it." + +"I have just finished the burgundy," said O'Leary, "and if you will ring +for another flask, I have no objection to let you hear the story of my +second love." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +MR. O'LEARY'S SECOND LOVE. + +"You may easily suppose," began Mr. O'Leary, "that the unhappy +termination of my first passion served as a shield to me for a long time +against my unfortunate tendencies towards the fair; and such was really +the case. I never spoke to a young lady for three years after, without a +reeling in my head, so associated in my mind was love and sea-sickness. +However, at last what will not time do. It was about four years from the +date of this adventure, when I became so, from oblivion of my former +failure, as again to tempt my fortune. My present choice, in every way +unlike the last, was a gay, lively girl, of great animal spirits, and a +considerable turn for raillery, that spared no one; the members of her +own family were not even sacred in her eyes; and her father, a reverend +dean, as frequently figured among the ludicrous as his neighbours. + +"The Evershams had been very old friends of a rich aunt of mine, who +never, by the by, had condescended to notice me till I made their +acquaintance; but no sooner had I done so, than she sent for me, and gave +me to understand that in the event of my succeeding to the hand of Fanny +Eversham, I should be her heir, and the possessor of about sixty thousand +pounds. She did not stop here; but by canvassing the dean in my favour, +speedily put the matter on a most favourable footing, and in less than +two months I was received as the accepted suitor of the fair Fanny, then +one of the reigning belles of Dublin. + +"They lived at this time about three miles from town, in a very pretty +country, where I used to pass all my mornings, and many of my evenings +too, in a state of happiness that I should have considered perfect, if +it were not for two unhappy blots--one, the taste of my betrothed for +laughing at her friends; another the diabolical propensity to talk +politics of my intended father-in-law--to the former I could submit; but +with the latter, submission only made bad worse; for he invariably drew +up as I receded, drily observing that with men who had no avowed +opinions, it was ill agreeing; or that, with persons who kept their +politics as a school-boy does his pocket-money, never to spend, and +always ready to change, it was unpleasant to dispute. Such taunts as +these I submitted to as well as I might; secretly resolving, that as I +now knew the meaning of whig and tory, I'd contrive to spend my life, +after marriage, out of the worthy dean's diocese. + +"Time wore on, and at length, to my most pressing solicitations, it was +conceded that a day for our marriage should be appointed. Not even the +unlucky termination of this my second love affair can deprive me of the +happy souvenir of the few weeks which were to intervene before our +destined union. + +"The mornings were passed in ransacking all the shops where wedding +finery could be procured--laces, blondes, velvets, and satins, littered +every corner of the deanery--and there was scarcely a carriage in a +coach-maker's yard in the city that I had not sat and jumped in, to try +the springs, by the special directions of Mrs. Eversham; who never ceased +to impress me with the awful responsibility I was about to take upon me, +in marrying so great a prize as her daughter--a feeling I found very +general among many of my friends at the Kildare-street club. + +"Among the many indispensable purchases which I was to make, and about +which Fanny expressed herself more than commonly anxious, was a +saddle-horse for me. She was a great horsewoman, and hated riding with +only a servant; and had given me to understand as much about half-a-dozen +times each day for the last five weeks. How shall I acknowledge it +--equestrianism was never my forte. I had all my life considerable +respect for the horse as an animal, pretty much as I dreaded a lion or a +tiger; but as to my intention of mounting upon the back of one, and +taking a ride, I should as soon have dreamed of taking an airing upon a +giraffe; and as to the thought of buying, feeding, and maintaining such a +beast at my own proper cost, I should just as soon have determined to +purchase a pillory or a ducking-stool, by way of amusing my leisure +hours. + +"However, Fanny was obstinate--whether she suspected any thing or not I +cannot say--but nothing seemed to turn her from her purpose; and although +I pleaded a thousand things in delay, yet she each day grew more +impatient, and at last I saw that there was nothing for it but to submit. + +"When I arrived at this last and bold resolve, I could not help feeling +that to possess a horse and not be able to mount him, was only deferring +the ridicule; and as I had so often expressed the difficulty I felt in +suiting myself as a cause of my delay, I could not possibly come forward +with any thing very objectionable, or I should be only the more laughed +at. There was then but one course to take; a fortnight still intervened +before the day which was to make me happy, and I accordingly resolved to +take lessons in riding during the intervals, and by every endeavour in my +power become, if possible, able to pass muster on the saddle before my +bride. + +"Poor old Lalouette understood but little of the urgency of the case, +when I requested his leave to take my lessons each morning at six +o'clock, for I dared not absent myself during the day without exciting +suspicion; and never, I will venture to assert, did knight-errant of old +strive harder for the hand of his lady-love than did I during that weary +fortnight, if a hippogriff had been the animal I bestrode, instead of +being, as it was, an old wall-eyed grey, I could not have felt more +misgivings at my temerity, or more proud of my achievement. In the first +three days the unaccustomed exercise proved so severe, that when I +reached the deanery I could hardly move, and crossed the floor, pretty +much as a pair of compasses might be supposed to do if performing that +exploit. Nothing, however, could equal the kindness of my poor dear +mother-in-law in embryo, and even the dean too. Fanny, indeed, said +nothing; but I rather think she was disposed to giggle a little; but my +rheumatism, as it was called, was daily inquired after, and I was +compelled to take some infernal stuff in my port wine at dinner that +nearly made me sick at table. + +"'I am sure you walk too much,' said Fanny, with one of her knowing +looks. 'Papa, don't you think he ought to ride; it would be much better +for him.' + +"'I do, my dear,' said the dean. 'But then you see he is so hard to be +pleased in a horse. Your old hunting days have spoiled you; but you must +forget Melton and Grantham, and condescend to keep a hack.' + +"I must have looked confoundedly foolish here, for Fanny never took her +eyes off me, and continued to laugh in her own wicked way. + +"It was now about the ninth or tenth day of my purgatorial performances; +and certainly if there be any merit in fleshly mortifications, these +religious exercises of mine should stand my part hereafter. A review had +been announced in the Phoenix-park, which Fanny had expressed herself +most desirous to witness; and as the dean would not permit her to go +without a chaperon, I had no means of escape, and promised to escort her. +No sooner had I made this rash pledge, than I hastened to my confidential +friend, Lalouette, and having imparted to him my entire secret, asked him +in a solemn and imposing manner, 'Can I do it?' The old man shook his +head dubiously, looked grave, and muttered at length, 'Mosch depend on de +horse.' 'I know it--I know it--I feel it,' said I eagerly--'then where +are we to find an animal that will carry me peaceably through this awful +day--I care not for his price?' + +"'Votre affaire ne sera pas trop chere,' said he. + +"'Why. How do you mean?' said I. + +"He then proceeded to inform me, that by a singularly fortunate chance, +there took place that day an auction of 'cast horses,' as they are +termed, which had been used in the horse police force; and that from long +riding, and training to stand fire, nothing could be more suitable than +one of these; being both easy to ride, and not given to start at noise. + +"I could have almost hugged the old fellow for his happy suggestion, and +waited with impatience for three o'clock to come, when we repaired +together to Essex-bridge, at that time the place selected for these +sales. + +"I was at first a little shocked at the look of the animals drawn up; +they were most miserably thin--most of them swelled in the legs--few +without sore backs--and not one eye, on an average, in every three; but +still they were all high steppers, and carried a great tail. 'There's +your affaire,' said the old Frenchman, as a long-legged fiddle-headed +beast was led out; turning out his forelegs so as to endanger the man who +walked beside him. + +"'Yes, there's blood for you, said Charley Dycer, seeing my eye fixed on +the wretched beast; 'equal to fifteen stone with any foxhounds; safe in +all his paces, and warranted sound; except,' added he, in a whisper, 'a +slight spavin in both hind legs, ring gone, and a little touched in the +wind.' Here the animal gave an approving cough. 'Will any gentleman say +fifty pounds to begin?' But no gentleman did. A hackney coachman, +however, said five, and the sale was opened; the beast trotting up and +down nearly over the bidders at every moment, and plunging on so that it +was impossible to know what was doing. + +"'Five, ten--fifteen--six pounds--thank you, sir,--guineas'--'seven +pounds,' said I, bidding against myself, not perceiving that I had spoken +last. 'Thank you, Mr. Moriarty,' said Dycer, turning towards an +invisible purchaser supposed to be in the crowd. 'Thank you, sir, you'll +not let a good one go that way.' Every one here turned to find out the +very knowing gentleman; but he could no where be seen. + +"Dycer resumed, 'Seven ten for Mr. Moriarty. Going for seven ten--a +cruel sacrifice--there's action for you--playful beast.' Here the devil +had stumbled and nearly killed a basket-woman with two children. + +"'Eight,' said I, with a loud voice. + +"'Eight pounds, quite absurd,' said Dycer, almost rudely; 'a charger like +that for eight pounds--going for eight pounds--going--nothing above eight +pounds--no reserve, gentlemen, you are aware of that. They are all as it +were, his majesty's stud--no reserve whatever--last time, eight pounds +--gone.' + +"Amid a very hearty cheer from the mob--God knows why--but a Dublin mob +always cheer--I returned, accompanied by a ragged fellow, leading my new +purchase after me with a bay halter. 'What is the meaning of those +letters,' said I, pointing to a very conspicuous G.R. with sundry other +enigmatical signs, burned upon the animal's hind quarter. + +"'That's to show he was a po-lice,' said the fellow with a grin; 'and +whin ye ride with ladies, ye must turn the decoy side.' + +"The auspicious morning at last arrived; and strange to say that the +first waking thought was of the unlucky day that ushered in my yachting +excursion, four years before. Why this was so, I cannot pretend to +guess; there was but little analogy in the circumstances, at least so far +as any thing had then gone. 'How is Marius?' said I to my servant, as he +opened my shutters. Here let me mention that a friend of the +Kildare-street club had suggested this name from the remarkably classic +character of my steed's countenance; his nose, he assured me, was +perfectly Roman. + +"'Marius is doing finely, sir, barring his cough, and the thrifle that +ails his hind legs.' + +"'He'll carry me quietly, Simon, eh?' + +"'Quietly. I'll warrant he'll carry you quietly, if that's all.' + +"Here was comfort. Certainly Simon had lived forty years as pantry boy +with my mother, and knew a great deal about horses. I dressed myself, +therefore, in high spirits; and if my pilot jacket and oil-skin cap in +former days had half persuaded me that I was born for marine +achievements, certainly my cords and tops, that morning, went far to +convince me that I must have once been a very keen sportsman somewhere, +without knowing it. It was a delightful July day that I set out to join +my friends, who having recruited a large party, were to rendezvous at the +corner of Stephen's-green; thither I proceeded in a certain ambling trot, +which I have often observed is a very favourite pace with timid horsemen, +and gentlemen of the medical profession. I was hailed with a most hearty +welcome by a large party as I turned out of Grafton-street, among whom I +perceived several friends of Miss Eversham, and some young dragoon +officers, not of my acquaintance, but who appeared to know Fanny +intimately, and were laughing heartily with her as I rode up. + +"I don't know if other men have experienced what I am about to mention or +not; but certainly to me there is no more painful sensation than to find +yourself among a number of well-mounted, well-equipped people, while the +animal you yourself bestride seems only fit for the kennel. Every look +that is cast at your unlucky steed--every whispered observation about you +are so many thorns in your flesh, till at last you begin to feel that +your appearance is for very little else than the amusement and mirth of +the assembly; and every time you rise in your stirrups you excite a +laugh. + +"'Where for mercy's sake did you find that creature?' said Fanny, +surveying Marius through her glass. + +"'Oh, him, eh? Why he is a handsome horse, if in condition--a charger +your know--that's his style.' + +"'Indeed,' lisped a young lancer, 'I should be devilish sorry to charge +or be charged with him.' And here they all chuckled at this puppy's +silly joke, and I drew up to repress further liberties. + +"'Is he anything of a fencer?' said a young country gentleman. + +"'To judge from his near eye, I should say much more of a boxer,' said +another. + +"Here commenced a running fire of pleasantry at the expense of my poor +steed; which, not content with attacking his physical, extended to his +moral qualities. An old gentleman near me observing, 'that I ought not +to have mounted him at all, seeing he was so damned groggy;' to which I +replied, by insinuating, that if others present were as free from the +influence of ardent spirits, society would not be a sufferer; an +observation that I flatter myself turned the mirth against the old +fellow, for they all laughed for a quarter of an hour after. + +"Well, at last we set out in a brisk trot, and, placed near Fanny, I +speedily forgot all my annoyances in the prospect of figuring to +advantage before her. When we reached College-green the leaders of the +cortege suddenly drew up, and we soon found that the entire street +opposite the Bank was filled with a dense mob of people, who appeared to +be swayed hither and thither, like some mighty beast, as the individuals +composing it were engaged in close conflict. It was nothing more nor +less than one of those almost weekly rows, which then took place between +the students of the University and the town's-people, and which rarely +ended without serious consequences. The numbers of people pressing on to +the scene of action soon blocked up our retreat, and we found ourselves +most unwilling spectators of the conflict. Political watch-words were +loudly shouted by each party; and at last the students, who appeared to +be yielding to superior numbers, called out for the intervention of the +police. The aid was nearer than they expected; for at the same instant a +body of mounted policemen, whose high helmets rendered them sufficiently +conspicuous, were seen trotting at a sharp pace down Dame-street. On +they came with drawn sabres, led by a well-looking gentlemanlike +personage in plain clothes, who dashed at once into the midst of the +fray, issuing his orders, and pointing out to his followers to secure the +ringleaders. Up to this moment I had been a most patient, and rather +amused spectator, of what was doing. Now, however, my part was to +commence, for at the word 'charge,' given in a harsh, deep voice by the +sergeant of the party, Marius, remembering his ancient instinct, pricked +up his ears, cocked his tail, flung up both his hind legs till they +nearly broke the Provost's windows, and plunged into the thickest of the +fray like a devil incarnate. + +"Self-preservation must be a strong instinct, for I well remember how +little pain it cost me to see the people tumbling and rolling before and +beneath me, while I continued to keep my seat. It was only the moment +before and that immense mass were in man to man encounter; now all the +indignation of both parties seemed turned upon me; brick-bats were loudly +implored, and paving stones begged to throw at my devoted head; the wild +huntsman of the German romance never created half the terror, nor +one-tenth of the mischief that I did in less than fifteen minutes, for +the ill-starred beast continued twining and twisting like a serpent, +plunging and kicking the entire time, and occasionally biting too; all +which accomplishments I afterwards learned, however little in request in +civil life, are highly prized in the horse police. + +"Every new order of the sergeant was followed in his own fashion by +Marius; who very soon contrived to concentrate in my unhappy person, all +the interest of about fifteen hundred people. + +"'Secure that scoundrel,' said the magistrate, pointing with his finger +towards me, as I rode over a respectable looking old lady, with a grey +muff. 'Secure him. Cut him down.' + +"'Ah, devil's luck to him, if ye do,' said a newsmonger with a broken +shin. + +"On I went, however, and now, as the Fates would have it, instead of +bearing me out of further danger, the confounded brute dashed onwards to +where the magistrate was standing, surrounded by policemen. I thought I +saw him change colour as I came on. I suppose my own looks were none of +the pleasantest, for the worthy man liked them not. Into the midst of +them we plunged, upsetting a corporal, horse and all, and appearing as if +bent upon reaching the alderman. + +"'Cut him down for heaven's sake. Will nobody shoot him' said he, with a +voice trembling with fear and anger. + +"At these words a wretch lifted up his sabre, and made a cut at my head. +I stooped suddenly, and throwing myself from the saddle, seized the poor +alderman round the neck, and we both came rolling to the ground together. +So completely was he possessed with the notion that I meant to +assassinate him, that while I was endeavouring to extricate myself from +his grasp, he continued to beg his life in the most heartrending manner. + +"My story is now soon told. So effectually did they rescue the alderman +from his danger, that they left me insensible; and I only came to myself +some days after by finding myself in the dock in Green-street, charged +with an indictment of nineteen counts; the only word of truth is what lay +in the preamble, for the 'devil inciting' me only, would ever have made +me the owner of that infernal beast, the cause of all my misfortunes. I +was so stupified from my hearing, that I know little of the course of the +proceedings. My friends told me afterwards that I had a narrow escape +from transportation; but for the greatest influence exerted in my behalf, +I should certainly have passed the autumn in the agreeable recreation of +pounding oyster shells or carding wool; and it certainly must have gone +hard with me, for stupified as I was, I remember the sensation in court, +when the alderman made his appearance with a patch over his eye. The +affecting admonition of the little judge--who, when passing sentence upon +me, adverted to the former respectability of my life, and the rank of my +relatives--actually made the galleries weep. + +"Four months in Newgate, and a fine to the king, then rewarded my taste +for horse-exercise; and it's no wonder if I prefer going on foot. + +"As to Miss Eversham, the following short note from the dean concluded my +hopes in that quarter. + + "'Deanery, Wednesday morning. + + "'Sir,--After the very distressing publicity to which your late + conduct has exposed you--the so open avowal of political opinion, at + variance with those (I will say) of every gentleman--and the + recorded sentence of a judge on the verdict of twelve of your + countrymen--I should hope that you will not feel my present + admonition necessary to inform you, that your visits at my house + shall cease. + + "'The presents you made my daughter, when under our unfortunate + ignorance of your real character, have been addressed to your hotel, + and I am your most obedient, humble servant, + + "'Oliver Eversham.' + + +"Here ended my second affair 'par amours;' and I freely confess to you +that if I can only obtain a wife in a sea voyage, or a steeple chase, I +am likely to fulfill one great condition in modern advertising--'as +having no incumbrance, or any objection to travel.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +THE DUEL. + +Mr. O'Leary had scarcely concluded the narrative of his second adventure, +when the grey light of the breaking day was seen faintly struggling +through the half-closed curtains, and apprising us of the lateness of the +hour. + +"I think we shall just have time for one finishing flask of Chambertin," +said O'Leary, as he emptied the bottle into his glass. + +"I forbid the bans, for one," cried Trevanion. "We have all had wine +enough, considering what we have before us this morning; and besides you +are not aware it is now past four o'clock. So garcon--garcon, there--how +soundly the poor fellow sleeps--let us have some coffee, and then inquire +if a carriage is in waiting at the corner of the Rue Vivienne." + +The coffee made its appearance, very much, as it seemed, to Mr. O'Leary's +chagrin, who, however, solaced himself by sundry petits verres, to +correct the coldness of the wine he had drank, and at length recovered +his good humour. + +"Do you know, now," said he, after a short pause, in which we had all +kept silence, "I think what we are about to do, is the very ugliest way +of finishing a pleasant evening. For my own part I like the wind up we +used to have in 'Old Trinity' formerly; when, after wringing off half a +dozen knockers, breaking the lamps at the post-office, and getting out +the fire engines of Werburgh's parish, we beat a few watchmen, and went +peaceably to bed." + +"Well, not being an Irishman," said Trevanion, "I'm half disposed to +think that even our present purpose is nearly as favourable to life and +limb; but here comes my servant. Well, John, is all arranged, and the +carriage ready?" + +Having ascertained that the carriage was in waiting, and that the small +box--brass bound and Bramah-locked--reposed within, we paid our bill and +departed. A cold, raw, misty-looking morning, with masses of dark +louring clouds overhead, and channels of dark and murky water beneath, +were the pleasant prospects which met us as we issued forth from the +Cafe. The lamps, which hung suspended midway across the street, (we +speak of some years since,) creaked, with a low and plaintive sound, as +they swung backwards and forwards in the wind. Not a footstep was heard +in the street--nothing but the heavy patter of the rain as it fell +ceaselessly upon the broad pavement. It was, indeed, a most depressing +and dispiriting accompaniment to our intended excursion: and even +O'Leary, who seemed to have but slight sympathy with external influences, +felt it, for he spoke but little, and was scarcely ten minutes in the +carriage till he was sound asleep. This was, I confess, a great relief +to me; for, however impressed I was, and to this hour am, with the many +sterling qualitites of my poor friend, yet, I acknowledge, that this was +not precisely the time I should have cared for their exercise, and would +have much preferred the companionship of a different order of person, +even though less long acquainted with him. Trevanion was, of all others, +the most suitable for this purpose; and I felt no embarrassment in +opening my mind freely to him upon subjects which, but twenty-four +hours previous, I could not have imparted to a brother. + +There is no such unlocker of the secrets of the heart as the possibly +near approach of death. Indeed, I question if a great deal of the +bitterness the thought of it inspires, does not depend upon that very +circumstance. The reflection that the long-treasured mystery of our +lives (and who is there without some such?) is about to become known, and +the secret of our inmost heart laid bare, is in itself depressing. Not +one kind word, nor one remembrancing adieu, to those we are to leave for +ever, can be spoken or written, without calling up its own story of +half-forgotten griefs or, still worse, at such a moment, of happiness +never again to be partaken of. + +"I cannot explain why," said I to Trevanion, "but although it has +unfortunately been pretty often my lot to have gone out on occasions +like this, both as principal and friend, yet never before did I feel so +completely depressed and low-spirited--and never, in fact, did so many +thoughts of regret arise before me for much of the past, and sorrow for +the chance of abandoning the future"-- + +"I can understand," said Trevanion, interrupting--"I have heard of your +prospect in the Callonby family, and certainly, with such hopes, I can +well conceive how little one would be disposed to brook the slightest +incident which could interfere with their accomplishment; but, now that +your cousin Guy's pretensions in that quarter are at an end, I suppose, +from all I have heard, that there can be no great obstacle to yours." + +"Guy's pretensions at an end! For heaven's sake, tell me all you know of +this affair--for up to this moment I am in utter ignorance of every thing +regarding his position among the Callonby family." + +"Unfortunately," replied Trevanion, "I know but little, but still that +little is authentic--Guy himself having imparted the secret to a very +intimate friend of mine. It appears, then, that your cousin, having +heard that the Callonbys had been very civil to you in Ireland, and made +all manner of advances to you--had done so under the impression that you +were the other nephew of Sir Guy, and consequently the heir of a large +fortune--that is, Guy himself--and that they had never discovered the +mistake during the time they resided in Ireland, when they not only +permitted, but even encouraged the closest intimacy between you and Lady +Jane. Is so far true?" + +"I have long suspected it. Indeed in no other way can I account for the +reception I met with from the Callonbys. But is it possible that Lady +Jane could have lent herself to any thing so unworthy."-- + +"Pray, hear me out," said Trevanion, who was evidently struck by the +despondency of my voice and manner. "Guy having heard of their mistake, +and auguring well to himself from this evidence of their disposition, no +sooner heard of their arrival in Paris, than he came over here and got +introduced to them. From that time he scarcely ever left their house, +except to accompany them into society, or to the theatres. It is said +that with Lady Jane he made no progress. Her manner, at the beginning +cold and formal, became daily more so; until, at last, he was half +disposed to abandon the pursuit--in which, by the by, he has since +confessed, monied views entered more than any affection for the lady +--when the thought struck him to benefit by what he supposed at first +to be the great bar to his success. He suddenly pretended to be only +desirous of intimacy with Lady Jane, from having heard so much of her +from you--affected to be greatly in your confidence--and, in fact, +assumed the character of a friend cognizant of all your feelings and +hopes, and ardently desiring, by every means in his power, to advance +your views--" + +"And was it thus he succeeded," I broke in. + +"'Twas thus he endeavoured to succeed," said Trevanion. + +"Ah, with what success I but too well know" said I. "My uncle himself +showed me a letter from Guy, in which he absolutely speaks of the affair +as settled, and talks of Lady Jane as about to be his wife." + +"That may be all quite true; but a little consideration of Guy's tactics +will show what he intended; for I find that he induced your uncle, by +some representations of his, to make the most handsome proposals, with +regard to the marriage, to the Callonbys; and that, to make the story +short, nothing but the decided refusal of Lady Jane, who at length saw +through his entire game prevented the match." + +"And then she did refuse him," said I, with ill-repressed exultation. + +"Of that there can be no doubt; for independently of all the gossip and +quizzing upon the subject, to which Guy was exposed in the coteries, he +made little secret of it himself--openly avowing that he did not consider +a repulse a defeat, and that he resolved to sustain the siege as +vigorously as ever." + +However interested I felt in all Trevanion was telling me, I could not +help falling into a train of thinking on my first acquaintance with the +Callonbys. There are, perhaps, but few things more humiliating than the +knowledge that any attention or consideration we have met with, has been +paid us in mistake for another; and in the very proportion that they were +prized before, are they detested when the truth is known to us. + +To all the depressing influences these thoughts suggested, came the +healing balm that Lady Jane was true to me--that she, at least, however +others might be biassed by worldly considerations--that she cared for me +--for myself alone. My reader (alas! for my character for judgment) +knows upon how little I founded the conviction; but I have often, in +these Confessions, avowed my failing, par excellence, to be a great taste +for self-deception; and here was a capital occasion for its indulgence. + +"We shall have abundant time to discuss this later on," said Trevanion, +laying his hand upon my shoulder to rouse my wandering attention--"for +now, I perceive, we have only eight minutes to spare." + +As he spoke, a dragoon officer, in an undress, rode up to the window of +the carriage, and looking steadily at our party for a few seconds, asked +if we were "Messieurs les Anglais;" and, almost without waiting for +reply, added, "You had better not go any farther in your carriage, for the +next turn of the road will bring you in sight of the village." + +We accordingly stopped the driver, and having (with) some difficulty +aroused O'Leary, got out upon the road. The militaire here gave his +horse to a groom, and proceeded to guide us through a corn-field by a +narrow path, with whose windings and crossings he appeared quite +conversant. We at length reached the brow of a little hill, from which +an extended view of the country lay before us, showing the Seine winding +its tranquil course between the richly tilled fields, dotted with many a +pretty cottage. Turning abruptly from this point, our guide led us, by a +narrow and steep path, into a little glen, planted with poplar and +willows. A small stream ran through this, and by the noise we soon +detected that a mill was not far distant, which another turning brought +us at once in front of. + +And here I cannot help dwelling upon the "tableau" which met our view. +In the porch of the little rural mill sat two gentlemen, one of whom I +immediately recognised as the person who had waited upon me, and the +other I rightly conjectured to be my adversary. Before them stood a +small table, covered with a spotless napkin, upon which a breakfast +equipage was spread--a most inviting melon and a long, slender-necked +bottle, reposing in a little ice-pail, forming part of the "materiel." +My opponent was cooly enjoying his cigar--a half-finished cup of coffee +lay beside him--his friend was occupied in examining the caps of the +duelling pistols, which were placed upon a chair. No sooner had we +turned the angle which brought us in view, than they both rose, and, +taking off their hats with much courtesy, bade us good morning. + +"May I offer you a cup of coffee," said Monsieur Derigny to me, as I came +up, at the same time filling it out, and pushing over a little flask of +Cogniac towards me. + +A look from Trevanion decided my acceptance of the proferred civility, +and I seated myself in the chair beside the baron. Trevanion meanwhile +had engaged my adversary in conversation along with the stranger, who had +been our guide, leaving O'Leary alone unoccupied, which, however, he did +not long remain; for, although uninvited by the others, he seized a knife +and fork, and commenced a vigorous attack upon a partridge pie near him; +and, with equal absence of ceremony, uncorked the champaign and filled +out a foaming goblet, nearly one-third of the whole bottle, adding-- + +"I think, Mr. Lorrequer, there's nothing like showing them that we are +just as cool and unconcerned as themselves." + +If I might judge from the looks of the party, a happier mode of +convincing them of our "free-and-easy" feelings could not possibly have +been discovered. From any mortification this proceeding might have +caused me, I was speedily relieved by Trevanion calling O'Leary to one +side, while he explained to him that he must nominally act as second on +the ground, as Trevanion, being a resident in Paris, might become liable +to a prosecution, should any thing serious arise, while O'Leary, as a +mere passer through, could cross the frontier into Germany, and avoid all +trouble. + +O'Leary at once acceded--perhaps the more readily because he expected to +be allowed to return to his breakfast--but in this he soon found himself +mistaken, for the whole party now rose, and preceded by the baron, +followed the course of the little stream. + +After about five minutes' walking, we found ourselves at the outlet of +the glen, which was formed by a large stone quarry, making a species of +amphitheatre, with lofty walls of rugged granite, rising thirty or forty +feet on either side of us. The ground was smooth and level as a boarded +floor, and certainly to amateurs in these sort of matters, presented a +most perfect spot for a "meeting." + +The stranger who had just joined us, could not help remarking our looks +of satisfaction at the choice of ground, and observed to me-- + +"This is not the first affair that this little spot has witnessed; and +the moulinet of St. Cloud is, I think, the very best 'meet' about Paris." + +Trevanion who, during these few minutes, had been engaged with Derigny, +now drew me aside. + +"Well, Lorrequer, have you any recollection now of having seen your +opponent before? or can you make a guess at the source of all this?" + +"Never till this instant," said I, "have I beheld him," as I looked +towards the tall, stoutly-built figure of my adversary, who was very +leisurely detaching a cordon from his tightly fitting frock, doubtless to +prevent its attracting my aim. + +"Well, never mind, I shall manage every thing properly. What can you do +with the small sword, for they have rapiers at the mill?" + +"Nothing whatever; I have not fenced since I was a boy." + +"N'importe--then we'll fight at a barriere. I know they're not prepared +for that from Englishmen; so just step on one side now, and leave me to +talk it over." + +As the limited nature of the ground did not permit me to retire to a +distance, I became involuntarily aware of a dialogue, which even the +seriousness of the moment could scarcely keep me from laughing at +outright. + +It was necessary, for the sake of avoiding any possible legal difficulty +in the result, that O'Leary should give his assent to every step of the +arrangement; and being totally ignorant of French, Trevanion had not only +to translate for him, but also to render in reply O'Leary's own comments +or objections to the propositions of the others. + +"Then it is agreed--we fight at a barriere," said the Captain Derigny. + +"What's that, Trevanion?" + +"We have agreed to place them at a barriere," replied Trevanion. + +"That's strange," muttered O'Leary to himself, who, knowing that the word +meant a "turnpike," never supposed it had any other signification. + +"Vingt quatre pas, n'est pas," said Derigny. + +"Too far," interposed Trevanion. + +"What does he say now?" asked O'Leary. + +"Twenty-four paces for the distance." + +"Twenty-four of my teeth he means," said O'Leary, snapping his fingers. +"What does he think of the length of Sackville-street? Ask him that, +will ye?" + +"What says Monsieur?" said the Frenchman. + +"He thinks the distance much too great." + +"He may be mistaken," said the Captain, half sneeringly. "My friend is +'de la premiere force.'" + +"That must be something impudent, from your looks, Mr. Trevanion. Isn't +it a thousand pities I can't speak French?" + +"What say you, then, to twelve paces? Fire together, and two shots each, +if the first fire be inconclusive," said Trevanion. + +"And if necessary," added the Frenchman, carelessly, "conclude with +these"--touching the swords with his foot as he spoke. + +"The choice of the weapon lies with us, I opine," replied Trevanion. +"We have already named pistols, and by them we shall decide this matter." + +It was at length, after innumerable objections, agreed upon that we +should be placed back to back, and at a word given each walk forward to a +certain distance marked out by a stone, where we were to halt, and at the +signal, "une," "deux," turn round and fire. + +This, which is essentially a French invention in duelling, was perfectly +new to me, but by no means to Trevanion, who was fully aware of the +immense consequence of not giving even a momentary opportunity for aim to +my antagonist; and in this mode of firing the most practised and deadly +shot is liable to err--particularly if the signal be given quickly. + +While Trevanion and the Captain were measuring out the ground, a little +circumstance which was enacted near me was certainly not over calculated +to strengthen my nerve. The stranger who had led us to the ground had +begun to examine the pistols, and finding that one of them was loaded, +turned towards my adversary, saying, "De Haultpenne, you have forgotten +to draw the charge. Come let us see what vein you are in." At the same +time, drawing off his large cavalry glove, he handed the pistol to his +friend. + +"A double Napoleon you don't hit the thumb." + +"Done," said the other, adjusting the weapon in his hand. + +The action was scarcely performed, when the bettor flung the glove into +the air with all his force. My opponent raised his pistol, waited for an +instant, till the glove, having attained its greatest height, turned to +fall again. Then click went the trigger--the glove turned round and +round half-a-dozen times, and fell about twenty yards off, and the thumb +was found cut clearly off at the juncture with the hand. + +This--which did not occupy half as long as I have spent in recounting it +--was certainly a pleasant introduction to standing at fifteen yards from +the principal actor; and I should doubtless have felt it in all its +force, had not my attention been drawn off by the ludicrous expression of +grief in O'Leary's countenance, who evidently regarded me as already +defunct. + +"Now, Lorrequer, we are ready," said Trevanion, coming forward; and then, +lowering his voice, added, "All is in your favour; I have won the 'word,' +which I shall give the moment you halt. So turn and fire at once: be +sure not to go too far round in the turn--that is the invariable error in +this mode of firing; only no hurry--be calm." + +"Now, Messieurs," said Derigny, as he approached with his friend leaning +upon his arm, and placed him in the spot allotted to him. Trevanion then +took my arm, and placed me back to back to my antagonist. As I took up +my ground, it so chanced that my adversary's spur slightly grazed me, +upon which he immediately turned round, and, with the most engaging +smile, begged a "thousand pardons," and hoped I was not hurt. + +O'Leary, who saw the incident, and guessed the action aright, called out: + +"Oh, the cold-blooded villain; the devil a chance for you, Mr. +Lorrequer." + +"Messieurs, your pistols," said Le Capitaine la Garde, who, as he handed +the weapons, and repeated once more the conditions of the combat, gave +the word to march. + +I now walked slowly forward to the place marked out by the stone; but it +seemed that I must have been in advance of my opponent, for I remember +some seconds elapsed before Trevanion coughed slightly, and then with a +clear full voice called out "Une," "Deux." I had scarcely turned myself +half round, when my right arm was suddenly lifted up, as if by a galvanic +shock. My pistol jerked upwards, and exploded the same moment, and then +dropped powerlessly from my hand, which I now felt was covered with warm +blood from a wound near the elbow. From the acute but momentary pang +this gave me, my attention was soon called off; for scarcely had my arm +been struck, when a loud clattering noise to my left induced me to turn, +and then, to my astonishment, I saw my friend O'Leary about twelve feet +from the ground, hanging on by some ash twigs that grew from the clefts +of the granite. Fragments of broken rock were falling around him, and +his own position momentarily threatened a downfall. He was screaming +with all his might; but what he said was entirely lost in the shouts of +laughter of Trevanion and the Frenchmen, who could scarcely stand with +the immoderate exuberance of their mirth. + +I had not time to run to his aid--which, although wounded, I should have +done--when the branch he clung to, slowly yielded with his weight, and +the round, plump figure of my poor friend rolled over the little cleft of +rock, and, after a few faint struggles, came tumbling heavily down, and +at last lay peaceably in the deep heather at the bottom--his cries the +whole time being loud enough to rise even above the vociferous laughter +of the others. + +I now ran forward, as did Trevanion, when O'Leary, turning his eyes +towards me, said, in the most piteous manner-- + +"Mr. Lorrequer, I forgive you--here is my hand--bad luck to their French +way of fighting, that's all--it's only good for killing one's friend. +I thought I was safe up there, come what might." + +"My dear O'Leary," said I, in an agony, which prevented my minding the +laughing faces around me, "surely you don't mean to say that I have +wounded you?" + +"No, dear, not wounded, only killed me outright--through the brain it +must be, from the torture I'm suffering." + +The shout with which this speech was received, sufficiently aroused me; +while Trevanion, with a voice nearly choked with laughter, said-- + +"Why, Lorrequer, did you not see that your pistol, on being struck, threw +your ball high up on the quarry; fortunately, however, about a foot and a +half above Mr. O'Leary's head, whose most serious wounds are his +scratched hands and bruised bones from his tumble." + +This explanation, which was perfectly satisfactory to me, was by no means +so consoling to poor O'Leary, who lay quite unconscious to all around, +moaning in the most melancholy manner. Some of the blood, which +continued to flow fast from my wound, having dropped upon his face, +roused him a little--but only to increase his lamentation for his own +destiny, which he believed was fast accomplishing. + +"Through the skull--clean through the skull--and preserving my senses to +the last! Mr. Lorrequer, stoop down--it is a dying man asks you--don't +refuse me a last request. There's neither luck nor grace, honor nor +glory in such a way of fighting--so just promise me you'll shoot that +grinning baboon there, when he's going off the ground, since it's the +fashion to fire at a man with his back to you. Bring him down, and I'll +die easy." + +And with these words he closed his eyes, and straightened out his legs +--stretched his arm at either side, and arranged himself as much corpse +fashion as the circumstances of the ground would permit--while I now +freely participated in the mirth of the others, which, loud and +boisterous as it was, never reached the ears of O'Leary. + +My arm had now become so painful, that I was obliged to ask Trevanion to +assist me in getting off my coat. The surprise of the Frenchmen on +learning that I was wounded was very considerable--O'Leary's catastrophe +having exclusively engaged all attention. My arm was now examined, when +it was discovered that the ball had passed through from one side to the +other, without apparently touching the bone; the bullet and the portion +of my coat carried in by it both lay in my sleeve. The only serious +consequence to be apprehended was the wound of the blood-vessel, which +continued to pour forth blood unceasingly, and I was just surgeon enough +to guess that an artery had been cut. + +Trevanion bound his handkerchief tightly across the wound, and assisted +me to the high road, which, so sudden was the loss of blood, I reached +with difficulty. During all these proceedings, nothing could be possibly +more kind and considerate than the conduct of our opponents. All the +farouche and swaggering air which they had deemed the "rigueur" before, +at once fled, and in its place we found the most gentlemanlike attention +and true politeness. + +As soon as I was enabled to speak upon the matter, I begged Trevanion to +look to poor O'Leary, who still lay upon the ground in a state of perfect +unconsciousness. Captain Derigny, on hearing my wish, at once returned +to the quarry, and, with the greatest difficulty, persuaded my friend to +rise and endeavour to walk, which at last he did attempt, calling him to +bear witness that it perhaps was the only case on record where a man with +a bullet in his brain had made such an exertion. + +With a view to my comfort and quiet, they put him into the cab of Le +Baron; and, having undertaken to send Dupuytrien to me immediately on my +reaching Paris, took their leave, and Trevanion and I set out homeward. + +Not all my exhaustion and debility--nor even the acute pain I was +suffering, could prevent my laughing at O'Leary's adventure; and it +required all Trevanion's prudence to prevent my indulging too far in my +recollection of it. + +When we reached Meurice's, I found Dupuytrien in waiting, who immediately +pronounced the main artery of the limb as wounded; and almost as +instantaneously proceeded to pass a ligature round it. This painful +business being concluded, I was placed upon a sofa, and being plentifully +supplied with lemonade, and enjoined to keep quiet, left to my own +meditations, such as they were, till evening--Trevanion having taken upon +him to apologize for our absence at Mrs. Bingham's dejeune, and O'Leary +being fast asleep in his own apartments. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS--A FIRST LOVE. + +I know of no sensations so very nearly alike, as those felt on awaking +after very sudden and profuse loss of blood, and those resulting from a +large dose of opium. The dizziness, the confusion, and the abstraction +at first, gradually yielding, as the senses became clearer, to a vague +and indistinct consciousness; then the strange mistiness, in which fact +and fiction are wrapped up--the confounding of persons, and places, and +times, not so as to embarrass and annoy--for the very debility you feel +subdues all irritation--but rather to present a panoramic picture of odd +and incongruous events more pleasing than otherwise. + +Of the circumstances by which I was thus brought to a sick couch, I had +not even the most vague recollection--the faces and the dress of all +those I had lately seen were vividly before me; but how, and for what +purpose I knew not. Something in their kindness and attention had left +an agreeable impression upon my mind, and without being able, or even +attempting to trace it, I felt happy in the thought. While thus the +"hour before" was dim and indistinct, the events of years past were +vividly and brightly pictured before me; and strange, too, the more +remote the period, the more did it seem palpable and present to my +imagination. For so it is, there is in memory a species of mental +long-sightedness, which, though blind to the object close beside you, can +reach the blue mountains and the starry skies, which lie full many a +league away. Is this a malady? or is it rather a providential gift to +alleviate the tedious hours of the sick bed, and cheer the lonely +sufferer, whose thoughts are his only realm? + +My school-boy days, in all their holiday excitement; the bank where I had +culled the earliest cowslips of the year; the clear but rapid stream, +where days long I have watched the speckled trout, as they swam +peacefully beneath, or shook their bright fins in the gay sunshine; the +gorgeous dragon-fly that played above the water, and dipped his bright +wings in its ripple--they were all before me. And then came the thought +of school itself, with its little world of boyish cares and emulations; +the early imbibed passion for success; the ardent longing for +superiority; the high and swelling feeling of the heart, as home drew +near, to think that I had gained the wished for prize--the object of many +an hour's toil--the thought of many a long night's dream; my father's +smile; my mother's kiss! Oh! what a very world of tender memory that one +thought suggests; for what are all our later successes in life--how +bright soever our fortune be--compared with the early triumphs of our +infancy? Where, among the jealous rivalry of some, the cold and +half-wrung praise of others, the selfish and unsympathising regard of all, +shall we find any thing to repay us for the swelling extacy of our young +hearts, as those who have cradled and loved us grow proud in our +successes? For myself, a life that has failed in every prestige of those +that prophesied favourably--years that have followed on each other only +to blight the promise that kind and well-wishing friends foretold--leave +but little to dwell upon, that can be reckoned as success. And yet, some +moments I have had, which half seemed to realize my early dream of +ambition, and rouse my spirit within me; but what were they all compared +to my boyish glories? what the passing excitement one's own heart +inspires in the lonely and selfish solitude, when compared with that +little world of sympathy and love our early home teemed with, as, proud +in some trifling distinction, we fell into a mother's arms, and heard our +father's "God bless you, boy?" No, no; the world has no requital for +this. It is like the bright day-spring, which, as its glories gild the +east, display before us a whole world of beauty and promise--blighted +hopes have not withered, false friendships have not scathed, cold, +selfish interest has not yet hardened our hearts, or dried up our +affections, and we are indeed happy; but equally like the burst of +morning is it fleeting and short-lived; and equally so, too, does it pass +away, never, never to return. + +From thoughts like these my mind wandered on to more advanced years, +when, emerging from very boyhood, I half believed myself a man, and was +fully convinced I was in love. + +Perhaps, after all, for the time it lasted--ten days, I think--it was the +most sincere passion I ever felt. I had been spending some weeks at a +small watering-place in Wales with some relatives of my mother. There +were, as might be supposed, but few "distractions" in such a place, save +the scenery, and an occasional day's fishing in the little river of +Dolgelly, which ran near. In all these little rambles which the younger +portion of the family made together, frequent mention was ever being made +of a visit from a very dear cousin, and to which all looked forward with +the greatest eagerness--the elder ones of the party with a certain air of +quiet pleasure, as though they knew more than they said, and the younger +with all the childish exuberance of youthful delight. Clara Mourtray +seemed to be, from all I was hourly hearing, the very paragon and pattern +of every thing. If any one was praised for beauty, Clara was immediately +pronounced much prettier--did any one sing, Clara's voice and taste were +far superior. In our homeward walk, should the shadows of the dark hills +fall with a picturesque effect upon the blue lake, some one was sure to +say, "Oh! how Clara would like to sketch that." In short, there was no +charm nor accomplishment ever the gift of woman, that Clara did not +possess; or, what amounted pretty much to the same thing, that my +relatives did not implicitly give her credit for. The constantly +recurring praises of the same person affect us always differently as we +go on in life. In youth the prevailing sentiment is an ardent desire to +see the prodigy of whom we have heard so much--in after years, heartily +to detest what hourly hurts our self-love by comparisons. We would take +any steps to avoid meeting what we have inwardly decreed to be a "bore." +The former was my course; and though my curiosity was certainly very +great, I had made up my mind to as great a disappointment, and half +wished for the longed arrival as a means of criticising what they could +see no fault in. + +The wished-for evening at length came, and we all set out upon a walk to +meet the carriage which was to bring the bien aime Clara among us. We +had not walked above a mile when the eager eye of the foremost detected a +cloud of dust upon the road at some distance; and, after a few minutes +more, four posters were seen coming along at a tremendous rate. The next +moment she was making the tour of about a dozen uncles, aunts, cousins, +and cousines, none of whom, it appeared to me, felt any peculiar desire +to surrender the hearty embrace to the next of kin in succession. At +last she came to me, when, perhaps, in the confusion of the moment, not +exactly remembering whether or not she had seen me before, she stood for +a moment silent--a deep blush mantling her lovely cheek--masses of waving +brown hair disordered and floating upon her shoulders--her large and +liquid blue eyes beaming upon me. One look was enough. I was deeply +--irretrievably in love. + +"Our cousin Harry--Harry Lorrequer--wild Harry, as we used to call him, +Clara," said one of the girls introducing me. + +She held out her hand, and said something with a smile. What, I know +not--nor can I tell how I replied; but something absurd it must have +been, for they all laughed heartily, and the worthy papa himself tapped +my shoulder jestingly, adding, + +"Never mind, Harry--you will do better one day, or I am much mistaken in +you." + +Whether I was conscious that I had behaved foolishly or not, I cannot +well say; but the whole of that night I thought over plans innumerable +how I should succeed in putting myself forward before "Cousin Clara," and +vindicating myself against any imputation of schoolboy mannerisms that my +first appearance might have caused. + +The next day we remained at home. Clara was too much fatigued to walk +out, and none of us would leave her. What a day of happiness that was! +I knew something of music, and could sing a second. Clara was delighted +at this, for the others had not cultivated singing much. We therefore +spent the whole morning in this way. Then she produced her sketch-book, +and I brought out mine, and we had a mutual interchange of prisoners. +What cutting out of leaves and detaching of rice-paper landscapes! The +she came out upon the lawn to see my pony leap, and promised to ride him +the following day. She patted the greyhounds, and said Gipsy, which was +mine, was the prettiest. In a word, before night fell Clara had won my +heart in its every fibre, and I went to my room the very happiest of +mortals. + +I need not chronicle my next three days--to me the most glorious "trois +jours" of my life. Clara had evidently singled me out and preferred me +to all the rest. It was beside me she rode--upon my arm she leaned in +walking--and, to comble me with delight unutterable, I overheard her say +to my uncle, "Oh, I doat upon poor Harry! And it is so pleasant, for I'm +sure Mortimer will be so jealous." + +"And who is Mortimer," thought I; "he is a new character in the piece, of +whom we have seen nothing." + +I was not long in doubt upon this head, for that very day, at dinner, the +identical Mortimer presented himself. He was a fine, dashing-looking, +soldier-like fellow, of about thirty-five, and with a heavy moustache, +and a bronzed cheek--rather grave in his manner, but still perfectly +good-natured, and when he smiled showing a most handsome set of regular +teeth. Clara seemed less pleased (I thought) at his coming than the +others, and took pleasure in tormenting him by a thousand pettish and +frivolous ways, which I was sorry for, as I thought he did not like it; +and used to look half chidingly at her from time to time, but without any +effect, for she just went on as before, and generally ended by taking my +arm and saying, "Come away, Harry; you always are kind, and never look +sulky. I can agree with you." These were delightful words for me to +listen to, but I could not hear them without feeling for him, who +evidently was pained by Clara's avowed preference for me; and whose +years--for I thought thirty-five at that time a little verging upon the +patriarchal--entitled him to more respect. + +"Well," thought I, one evening, as this game had been carried rather +farther than usual, "I hope she is content now, for certainly Mortimer is +jealous;" and the result proved it, for the whole of the following day he +absented himself, and never came back till late in the evening. He had +been, I found, from a chance observation I overheard, at the bishop's +palace, and the bishop himself, I learned, was to breakfast with us in +the morning. + +"Harry, I have a commission for you," said Clara. "You must get up +very early to-morrow, and climb the Cader mountain, and bring me a grand +bouquet of the blue and purple heath that I liked so much the last time +I was there. Mind very early, for I intend to surprise the bishop +to-morrow with my taste in a nosegay." + +The sun had scarcely risen as I sprang from my bed, and started upon my +errand. Oh! the glorious beauty of that morning's walk. As I climbed +the mountain, the deep mists lay upon all around, and except the path I +was treading, nothing was visible; but before I reached the top, the +heavy masses of vapour were yielding to the influence of the sun; and as +they rolled from the valleys up the mountain sides, were every instant +opening new glens and ravines beneath me--bright in all their verdure, +and speckled with sheep, whose tingling bells reached me even where I +stood. + +I counted above twenty lakes at different levels, below me; some +brilliant, and shining like polished mirrors; others not less beautiful, +dark and solemn with some mighty mountain shadow. As I looked landward, +the mountains reared their huge crests, one above the other, to the +farthest any eye could reach. Towards the opposite side, the calm and +tranquil sea lay beneath me, bathed in the yellow gold of a rising sun; a +few ships were peaceably lying at anchor in the bay; and the only thing +in motion was a row-boat, the heavy monotonous stroke of whose oars rose +in the stillness of the morning air. Not a single habitation of man +could I descry, nor any vestige of a human being, except that mass of +something upon the rock far down beneath be one, and I think it is, for I +see the sheep-dog ever returning again and again to the same spot. + +My bouquet was gathered; the gentian of the Alps, which is found here, +also contributing its evidence to show where I had been to seek it, and I +turned home. + +The family were at breakfast as I entered; at least so the servants said, +for I only remembered then that the bishop was our guest, and that I +could not present myself without some slight attention to my dress. I +hastened to my room, and scarcely had I finished, when one of my cousins, +a little girl of eight years, came to the door and said, + +"Harry, come down; Clara wants you." + +I rushed down stairs, and as I entered the breakfast parlour, stood still +with surprise. The ladies were all dressed in white, and even my little +cousin wore a gala costume that amazed me. + +"My bouquet, Harry; I hope you have not forgotten it," said Clara, as I +approached. + +I presented it at once, when she gaily and coquettishly held out her hand +for me to kiss. This I did, my blood rushing to my face and temples the +while, and almost depriving me of consciousness. + +"Well, Clara, I am surprised at you," said Mortimer. "How can you treat +the poor boy so?" + +I grew deadly pale at these words, and, turning round, looked at the +speaker full in the face. Poor fellow, thought I, he is jealous, and I +am really grieved for him; and turned again to Clara. + +"Here it is--oh! how handsome, papa," said one of the younger children, +running eagerly to the window, as a very pretty open carriage with four +horses drew up before the house. + +"The bishop has taste," I murmured to myself, scarcely deigning to give a +second look at the equipage. + +Clara now left the room, but speedily returned--her dress changed, and +shawled as if for a walk. What could all this mean?--and the whispering, +too, what is all that?--and why are they all so sad?--Clara has been +weeping. + +"God bless you, my child--good by," said my aunt, as she folded her in +her arms for the third time. + +"Good by, good by," I heard on every side. At length, approaching me, +Clara took my hand and said-- + +"My poor Harry, so we are going to part. I am going to Italy." + +"To Italy, Clara? Oh! no--say no. Italy! I shall never see you again." + +"Won't you wear this ring for me, Harry? It is an old favourite of +yours--and when we meet again"-- + +"Oh! dearest Clara," I said, "do not speak thus." + +"Good by, my poor boy, good by," said Clara hurriedly; and, rushing +out of the room, she was lifted by Mortimer into the carriage, who, +immediately jumping in after her, the whip cracked, the horses clattered, +and all was out of sight in a second. + +"Why is she gone with him?" said I, reproachfully, turning towards my +aunt. + +"Why, my dear, a very sufficient reason. She was married this morning." + +This was my first love. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +WISE RESOLVES. + +Musing over this boyish adventure, I fell into a deep slumber, and on +awakening it took me some minutes before I could recall my senses +sufficiently to know where I was. The whole face of things in my room +was completely changed. Flowers had been put in the china vases upon the +tables--two handsome lamps, shaded with gauzes, stood upon the consoles +--illustrated books, prints, and caricatures, were scattered about. A +piano-forte had also, by some witchcraft, insinuated itself into a recess +near the sofa--a handsome little tea service, of old Dresden china, +graced a marquetry table--and a little picquet table stood most +invitingly beside the fire. I had scarcely time to turn my eyes from one +to the other of these new occupants, when I heard the handle of my door +gently turn, as if by some cautious hand, and immediately closed my eyes +and feigned sleep. Through my half-shut lids I perceived the door +opened. After a pause of about a second, the skirt of a white muslin +dress appeared--then a pretty foot stole a little farther--and at last +the slight and graceful figure of Emily Bingham advanced noiselessly into +the room. Fear had rendered her deadly pale; but the effect of her rich +brown hair, braided plainly on either side of her cheek, suited so well +the character of her features, I thought her far handsomer than ever. +She came forward towards the table, and I now could perceive that she had +something in her hand resembling a letter. This she placed near my hand +--so near as almost to touch it. She leaned over me--I felt her breath +upon my brow, but never moved. At this instant, a tress of her hair, +becoming unfastened, fell over upon my face. She started--the motion +threw me off my guard, and I looked up. She gave a faint, scarce audible +shriek, and sank into the chair beside me. Recovering, however, upon the +instant, she grasped the letter she had just laid down, and, having +crushed it between her fingers, threw it into the fire. This done--as if +the effort had been too much for her strength--she again fell back upon +her seat, and looked so pale I almost thought she had fainted. + +Before I had time to speak, she rose once more; and now her face was +bathed in blushes, her eyes swam with rising tears, and her lips trembled +with emotion as she spoke. + +"Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, what will you--what can you think of this? If you +but knew--;" and here she faltered and again grew pale, while I with +difficulty rising from the sofa, took her hand, and led her to the chair +beside it. + +"And may I not know?" said I; "may I not know, my dear"--I am not sure +I did not say dearest--"Miss Bingham, when, perhaps, the knowledge might +make me the happiest of mortals?" + +This was a pretty plunge as a sequel to my late resolutions. She hid her +face between her hands, and sobbed for some seconds. + +"At least," said I, "as that letter was destined for me but a few moments +since, I trust that you will let me hear its contents." + +"Oh no--not now--not now," said she entreatingly; and, rising at the same +time, she turned to leave the room. I still held her hand, and pressed +it within mine. I thought she returned the pressure. I leaned forward +to catch her eye, when the door was opened hastily, and a most +extraordinary figure presented itself. + +It was a short, fat man, with a pair of enormous moustaches, of a fiery +red; huge bushy whiskers of the same colour; a blue frock covered with +braiding, and decorated with several crosses and ribbons; tight +pantaloons and Hessian boots, with long brass spurs. He held a large +gold-headed cane in his hand, and looked about with an expression of very +equivocal drollery, mingled with fear. + +"May I ask, sir," said I, as this individual closed the door behind him, +"may I ask the reason for this intrusion?" + +"Oh, upon my conscience, I'll do--I'm sure to pass muster now," said the +well-known voice of Mr. O'Leary, whose pleasant features began to dilate +amid the forest of red hair he was disguised in. "But I see you are +engaged," said he, with a sly look at Miss Bingham, whom he had not yet +recognised; "so I must contrive to hide myself elsewhere, I suppose." + +"It is Miss Bingham," said I, "who has been kind enough to come here +with her maid, to bring me some flowers. Pray present my respectful +compliments to Mrs. Bingham, and say how deeply I feel her most kind +attention." + +Emily rose at the instant, and recovering her self-possession at once, +said-- + +"You forget, Mr. Lorrequer, it is a secret from whom the flowers came; +at least mamma hoped to place them in your vases without you knowing. +So, pray, don't speak of it--and I'm sure Mr. O'Leary will not tell." + +If Mr. O'Leary heard one word of this artful speech, I know not, but he +certainly paid no attention to it, nor the speaker, who left the room +without his appearing aware of it. + +"Now that she is gone--for which heaven be praised," said I to myself; +"let me see what this fellow can mean." + +As I turned from the door, I could scarcely avoid laughing aloud at the +figure before me. He stood opposite a large mirror, his hat on one side +of his head, one arm in his breast, and the other extended, leaning upon +his stick; a look of as much ferocity as such features could accomplish +had been assumed, and his whole attitude was a kind of caricature of a +melo-dramatic hero in a German drama. + +"Why, O'Leary, what is all this?" + +"Hush, hush," said he, in a terrified whisper--"never mention that name +again, till we are over the frontier." + +"But, man, explain--what do you mean?" + +"Can't you guess," said he drily. + +"Impossible; unless the affair at the saloon has induced you to take this +disguise, I cannot conceive the reason." + +"Nothing farther from it, my dear friend; much worse than that." + +"Out with it, then, at once." + +"She's come--she's here--in this very house--No. 29, above the entre +sol." + +"Who is here, in No. 29, above the entre sol?" + +"Who, but Mrs. O'Leary herself. I was near saying bad luck to her." + +"And does she know you are here?" + +"That is what I can't exactly say," said he, "but she has had the Livre +des Voyageurs brought up to her room, and has been making rather +unpleasant inquiries for the proprietor of certain hieroglyphics +beginning with O, which have given me great alarm--the more, as all the +waiters have been sent for in turn, and subjected to long examination by +her. So I have lost no time, but, under the auspices of your friend +Trevanion, have become the fascinating figure you find me, and am now +Compte O'Lieuki, a Pole of noble family, banished by the Russian +government, with a father in Siberia, and all that; and I hope, by the +end of the week, to be able to cheat at ecarte, and deceive the very +police itself." + +The idea of O'Leary's assuming such a metamorphosis was too absurd not +to throw me into a hearty fit of laughing, in which the worthy emigre +indulged also. + +"But why not leave this at once," said I, "if you are so much in dread of +a recognition?" + +"You forget the trial," added O'Leary, "I must be here on the 18th or all +my bail is forfeited." + +"True--I had forgot that. Well, now, your plans?"-- + +"Simply to keep very quiet here till the affair of the tribunal is over, +and then quit France at once. Meanwhile, Trevanion thinks that we may, +by a bold stratagem, send Mrs. O'Leary off on a wrong scent, and has +requested Mrs. Bingham to contrive to make her acquaintance, and ask her +to tea in her room, when she will see me, en Polonais, at a distance, you +know--hear something of my melancholy destiny from Trevanion--and leave +the hotel quite sure she has no claim on me. Meanwhile, some others of +the party are to mention incidentally having met Mr. O'Leary somewhere, +or heard of his decease, or any pleasant little incident that may occur +to them." + +"The plan is excellent," said I, "for in all probability she may never +come in your way again, if sent off on a good errand this time." + +"That's what I'm thinking," said O'Leary; "and I am greatly disposed to +let her hear that I'm with Belzoni in Egypt, with an engagement to spend +the Christmas with the Dey of Algiers. That would give her a very pretty +tour for the remainder of the year, and show her the pyramids. But, tell +me fairly, am I a good Pole?" + +"Rather short," said I, "and a little too fat, perhaps." + +"That comes from the dash of Tartar blood, nothing more; and my mother +was a Fin," said he, "she'll never ask whether from Carlow or the +Caucasus. How I revel in the thought, that I may smoke in company +without a breach of the unities. But I must go: there is a gentleman +with a quinsey in No. 9, that gives me a lesson in Polish this morning. +So good-by, and don't forget to be well enough to-night, for you must be +present at my debut." + +O'Leary had scarcely gone, when my thoughts reverted to Emily Bingham. +I was not such a coxcomb as to fancy her in love with me; yet certainly +there was something in the affair which looked not unlike it; and though, +by such a circumstance, every embarrassment which pressed upon me had +become infinitely greater, I could not dissemble from myself a sense of +pleasure at the thought. She was really a very pretty girl, and improved +vastly upon acquaintance. "Le absens ont toujours torts" is the truest +proverb in any language, and I felt it in its fullest force when +Trevanion entered my room. + +"Well, Lorrequer," said he, "your time is certainly not likely to hang +heavily on your hands in Paris, if occupation will prevent it, for I find +you are just now booked for a new scrape." + +"What can you mean?" said I, starting up. + +"Why, O'Leary, who has been since your illness, the constant visiter at +the Binghams--dining there every day, and spending his evenings--has just +told me that the mamma is only waiting for the arrival of Sir Guy +Lorrequer in Paris to open the trenches in all form; and from what she +has heard of Sir Guy, she deems it most likely he will give her every aid +and support to making you the husband of the fair Emily." + +"And with good reason, too," said I; "for if my uncle were only given to +understand that I had once gone far in my attentions, nothing would +induce him to break off the match. He was crossed in love himself when +young, and has made a score of people miserable since, in the benevolent +idea of marrying them against every obstacle." + +"How very smart you have become," said Trevanion, taking a look round my +room, and surveying in turn each of the new occupants. "You must +certainly reckon upon seeing your fair friend here, or all this propriete +is sadly wasted." + +This was the time to explain all about Miss Bingham's visit; and I did +so, of course omitting any details which might seem to me needless, or +involving myself in inconsistency. + +Trevanion listened patiently to the end--was silent for some moments +--then added-- + +"And you never saw the letter?" + +"Of course not. It was burned before my eyes." + +"I think the affair looks very serious, Lorrequer. You may have won this +girl's affections. It matters little whether the mamma be a hacknied +match-maker, or the cousin a bullying duellist. If the girl have a +heart, and that you have gained it"-- + +"Then I must marry, you would say." + +"Exactly so--without the prompting of your worthy uncle, I see no +other course open to you without dishonour. My advice, therefore, is, +ascertain--and that speedily--how far your attentions have been attended +with the success you dread--and then decide at once. Are you able to get +as far as Mrs. Bingham's room this morning? If so, come along. I shall +take all the frais of la chere mamma off your hands, while you talk to +the daughter; and half-an-hour's courage and resolution will do it all." + +Having made the most effective toilet my means would permit, my right arm +in a sling, and my step trembling from weakness, I sallied forth with +Trevanion to make love with as many fears for the result as the most +bashful admirer ever experienced, when pressing his suit upon some +haughty belle--but for a far different reason. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +THE PROPOSAL. + +On reaching Mrs. Bingham's apartments, we found that she had just left +home to wait upon Mrs. O'Leary, and consequently, that Miss Bingham was +alone. Trevanion, therefore, having wished me a safe deliverance through +my trying mission, shook my hand warmly, and departed. + +I stood for some minutes irresolutely, with my hand upon the lock of the +door. To think that the next few moments may decide the fortune of one's +after life, is a sufficiently anxious thought; but that your fate may be +so decided, by compelling you to finish in sorrow what you have begun in +folly, is still more insupportable. Such, then, was my condition. I had +resolved within myself, if the result of this meeting should prove that I +had won Miss Bingham's affections, to propose for her at once in all +form, and make her my wife. If, on the other hand, I only found that she +too had amused herself with a little passing flirtation, why then, I was +a free man once more: but, on catechising myself a little closer, also, +one somewhat disposed to make love de novo. + +With the speed of lightning, my mind ran over every passage of our +acquaintance--our first meeting--our solitary walks--our daily, hourly +associations--our travelling intimacy--the adventure at Chantraine; +--There was, it is true, nothing in all this which could establish the +fact of wooing, but every thing which should convince an old offender +like myself that the young lady was "en prise," and that I myself +--despite my really strong attachment elsewhere--was not entirely +scathless. + +"Yes," said I, half aloud, as I once more reviewed the past, "it is but +another chapter in my history in keeping with all the rest--one step has +ever led me to a second, and so on to a third; what with other men have +passed for mere trifles, have ever with me become serious difficulties, +and the false enthusiasm with which I ever follow any object in life, +blinds me for the time, and mistaking zeal for inclination, I never feel +how little my heart is interested in success, till the fever of pursuit +is over." + +These were pleasant thoughts for one about to throw himself at a pretty +girl's feet, and pour out his "soul of love before her;" but that with me +was the least part of it. Curran, they say, usually picked up his facts +in a case from the opposite counsel's statements; I always relied for my +conduct in carrying on any thing, to the chance circumstances of the +moment, and trusted to my animal spirits to give me an interest in +whatever for the time being engaged me. + +I opened the door. Miss Bingham was sitting at a table, her head leaning +upon her hands--some open letters which lay before her, evidently so +occupying her attention, that my approach was unheard. On my addressing +her, she turned round suddenly, and became at first deep scarlet, then +pale as death: while, turning to the table, she hurriedly threw her +letters into a drawer, and motioned me to a place beside her. + +After the first brief and common-place inquiry for my health, and hopes +for my speedy recovery, she became silent; and I too, primed with topics +innumerable to discuss--knowing how short my time might prove before Mrs. +Bingham's return--could not say a word. + +"I hope, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "that you have incurred no +risque by leaving your room so early." + +"I have not," I replied, "but, even were there a certainty of it, the +anxiety I laboured under to see and speak with you alone, would have +overcome all fears on this account. Since this unfortunate business +has confined me to my chamber, I have done nothing but think over +circumstances which have at length so entirely taken possession of me, +that I must, at any sacrifice, have sought an opportunity to explain to +you"--here Emily looked down, and I continued--"I need scarcely say what +my feelings must long since have betrayed, that to have enjoyed the daily +happiness of living in your society, of estimating your worth, of feeling +your fascinations, were not the means most in request for him, who knew, +too well, how little he deserved, either by fortune or desert, to hope, +to hope to make you his; and yet, how little has prudence or caution to +do with situations like this." She did not guess the animus of this +speech. "I felt all I have described; and yet, and yet, I lingered on, +prizing too dearly the happiness of the present hour, to risque it by any +avowal of sentiments, which might have banished me from your presence for +ever. If the alteration of these hopes and fears have proved too strong +for my reason at last, I cannot help it; and this it is which now leads +me to make this avowal to you." Emily turned her head away from me; but +her agitated manner showed how deeply my words had affected her; and I +too, now that I had finished, felt that I had been "coming it rather +strong." + +"I hoped, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "I hoped, I confess, to +have had an opportunity of speaking with you." Then, thought I, the game +is over, and Bishop Luscombe is richer by five pounds, than I wish him. +--"Something, I know not what, in your manner, led me to suspect that your +affections might lean towards me; hints you have dropped, and, now and +then, your chance allusions strengthened the belief, and I determined, at +length, that no feeling of maidenly shame on my part should endanger the +happiness of either of us, and I determined to see you; this was so +difficult, that I wrote a letter, and that letter, which might have saved +me all distressing explanation, I burned before you this morning." + +"But, why, dearest girl,"--here was a plunge--"why, if the letter could +remove any misconstruction, or could be the means of dispelling any +doubt--why not let me see it?" + +"Hear me out," cried she, eagerly, and evidently not heeding my +interruption, "I determined if your affections were indeed"--a flood of +tears here broke forth, and drowned her words; her head sank between her +hands, and she sobbed bitterly. + +"Corpo di Baccho!" said I to myself, "It is all over with me; the poor +girl is evidently jealous, and her heart will break." + +"Dearest, dearest Emily," said I, passing my arm round her, and +approaching my head close to her's, "if you think that any other love +than yours could ever beat within this heart--that I could see you hourly +before me--live beneath your smile, and gaze upon your beauty--and, still +more than all--pardon the boldness of the thought--feel that I was not +indifferent to you."-- + +"Oh! spare me this at least," said she, turning round her tearful eyes +upon me, and looking most bewitchingly beautiful. "Have I then showed +you this plainly?" + +"Yes, dearest girl! That instinct which tells us we are loved has spoken +within me. And here in this beating heart"-- + +"Oh! say not more," said she, "if I have, indeed, gained your +affections"-- + +"If--if you have," said I, clasping her to my heart, while she continued +to sob still violently, and I felt half disposed to blow my brains out +for my success. However, there is something in love-making as in +fox-hunting, which carries you along in spite of yourself; and I +continued to pour forth whole rhapsodies of love that the Pastor Fido +could not equal. + +"Enough," said she, "it is enough that you love me and that I have +encouraged your so doing. But oh! tell me once more, and think how much +of future happiness may rest upon your answer--tell me, may not this be +some passing attachment, which circumstances have created, and others may +dispel? Say, might not absence, time, or another more worthy"-- + +This was certainly a very rigid cross-examination when I thought the +trial was over; and not being exactly prepared for it, I felt no other +mode of reply than pressing her taper fingers alternately to my lips, and +muttering something that might pass for a declaration of love +unalterable, but, to my own ears, resembled a lament on my folly. + +"She is mine now," thought I, "so we must e'en make the best of it; and +truly she is a very handsome girl, though not a Lady Jane Callonby. The +next step is the mamma; but I do not anticipate much difficulty in that +quarter." + +"Leave me now," said she, in a low and broken voice; "but promise not to +speak of this meeting to any one before we meet again. I have my +reasons; believe me they are sufficient ones, so promise me this before +we part." + +Having readily given the pledge required, I again kissed her hand and +bade farewell, not a little puzzled the whole time at perceiving that +ever since my declaration and acceptance Emily seemed any thing but +happy, and evidently struggling against some secret feeling of which I +knew nothing. "Yes," thought I, as I wended my way along the corridor, +"the poor girl is tremendously jealous, and I must have said may a thing +during our intimacy to hurt her. However, that is all past and gone; and +now comes a new character for me: my next appearance wil be 'en bon +mari.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + +THOUGHTS UPON MATRIMONY IN GENERAL, AND IN THE ARMY IN PARTICULAR--THE +KNIGHT OF KERRY AND BILLY M'CABE. + +"So," thought I, as I closed the door of my room behind me, "I am +accepted--the die is cast which makes me a Benedict: yet heaven knows +that never was a man less disposed to be over joyous at his good +fortune!" What a happy invention it were, if when adopting any road in +life, we could only manage to forget that we had ever contemplated any +other! It is the eternal looking back in this world that forms the +staple of all our misery; and we are but ill-requited for such +unhappiness by the brightest anticipations we can conjure up for the +future. How much of all that "past" was now to become a source of +painful recollection, and to how little of the future could I look +forward with even hope! + +Our weaknesses are much more constantly the spring of all our annoyances +and troubles than even our vices. The one we have in some sort of +subjection: we are perfectly slaves to the others. This thought came +home most forcibly to my bosom, as I reflected upon the step which led me +on imperceptibly to my present embarrassment. "Well, c'est fini, now," +said I, drawing upon that bountiful source of consolation ever open to +the man who mars his fortune--that "what is past can't be amended;" which +piece of philosophy, as well as its twin brother, that "all will be the +same a hundred years hence," have been golden rules to me from my +childhood. + +The transition from one mode of life to another perfectly different has +ever seemed to me a great trial of a man's moral courage; besides that +the fact of quitting for ever any thing, no matter how insignificant or +valueless, is always attended with painful misgivings. My bachelor life +had its share of annoyances and disappointments, it is true; but, upon +the whole it was a most happy one--and now I was about to surrender it +for ever, not yielding to the impulse of affection and love for one +without whom life were valueless to me, but merely a recompense for the +indulgence of that fatal habit I had contracted of pursuing with +eagerness every shadow that crossed my path. All my early friends +--all my vagrant fancies--all my daydreams of the future I was now to +surrender--for, what becomes of any man's bachelor friends when he is +once married? Where are his rambles in high and bye-ways when he has a +wife? and what is left for anticipation after his wedding except, +perhaps, to speculate upon the arrangement of his funeral? To a military +man more than to any other these are serious thoughts. All the +fascinations of an army life, in war or peace, lie in the daily, hourly +associations with your brother officers--the morning cigar, the +barrack-square lounge--the afternoon ride--the game of billiards before +dinner--the mess (that perfection of dinner society)--the plans for the +evening--the deviled kidney at twelve--forming so many points of +departure whence you sail out upon your daily voyage through life. +Versus those you have that awful perversion of all that is natural--an +officer's wife. She has been a beauty when young, had black eyes and +high complexion, a good figure, rather inclined to embonpoint, and a +certain springiness in her walk, and a jauntiness in her air, that are +ever sure attractions to a sub in a marching regiment. She can play +backgammon, and sing "di tanti palpiti," and, if an Irishwoman, is +certain to be able to ride a steeple-chase, and has an uncle a lord, who +(en parenthese) always turns out to be a creation made by King James +after his abdication. In conclusion, she breakfasts en papillote--wears +her shoes down at heel--calls every officer of the regiment by his name +--has a great taste for increasing his majesty's lieges, and delights in +London porter. To this genus of Frow I have never ceased to entertain +the most thrilling abhorrence; and yet how often have I seen what +appeared to be pretty and interesting girls fall into something of this +sort! and how often have I vowed any fate to myself rather than become +the husband of a baggage-waggon wife! + +Had all my most sanguine hopes promised realizing--had my suit with Lady +Jane been favourable, I could scarcely have bid adieu to my bachelor life +without a sigh. No prospect of future happiness can ever perfectly +exclude all regret at quitting our present state for ever. I am sure if +I had been a caterpillar, it would have been with a heavy heart that I +would have donned my wings as a butterfly. Now the metamorphosis was +reversed: need it be wondered if I were sad? + +So completely was I absorbed in my thoughts upon this matter, that I had +not perceived the entrance of O'Leary and Trevanion, who, unaware of my +being in the apartment, as I was stretched upon a sofa in a dark corner, +drew their chairs towards the fire and began chatting. + +"Do you know, Mr. Trevanion," said O'Leary, "I am half afraid of this +disguise of mine. I sometimes think I am not like a Pole; and if she +should discover me"-- + +"No fear of that in the world; your costume is perfect, your beard +unexceptionable. I could, perhaps, have desired a little less paunch; +but then"-- + +"That comes of fretting, as Falstaff says; and you must not forget that +I am banished from my country." + +"Now, as to your conversation, I should advise you saying very little +--not one word in English. You may, if you like, call in the assistance +of Irish when hard pressed? + +"I have my fears on that score. There is no knowing where that might +lead to discovery. You know the story of the Knight of Kerry and Billy +McCabe?" + +"I fear I must confess my ignorance--I have never heard of it." + +"Then may be you never knew Giles Daxon?" + +"I have not had that pleasure either." + +"Lord bless me, how strange that is! I thought he was better known than +the Duke of Wellington or the travelling piper. Well, I must tell you +the story, for it has a moral, too--indeed several morals; but you'll +find that out for yourself. Well, it seems that one day the Knight of +Kerry was walking along the Strand in London, killing an hour's time, +till the house was done prayers, and Hume tired of hearing himself +speaking; his eye was caught by an enormous picture displayed upon the +wall of a house, representing a human figure covered with long dark hair, +with huge nails upon his hands, and a most fearful expression of face. +At first the Knight thought it was Dr. Bowring; but on coming nearer he +heard a man with a scarlet livery and a cocked hat, call out, 'Walk in, +ladies and gentlemen--the most vonderful curiosity ever exhibited--only +one shilling--the vild man from Chippoowango, in Africay--eats raw +wittles without being cooked, and many other surprising and pleasing +performances.' + +"The knight paid his money, and was admitted. At first the crowd +prevented his seeing any thing--for the place was full to suffocation, +and the noise awful--for, besides the exclamations and applause of the +audience, there were three barrel-organs, playing 'Home, sweet Home!' and +'Cherry Ripe,' and the wild man himself contributed his share to the +uproar. At last, the Knight obtained, by dint of squeezing, and some +pushing a place in the front, when, to his very great horror, he beheld a +figure that far eclipsed the portrait without doors. + +"It was a man nearly naked, covered with long, shaggy hair, that grew +even over his nose and cheek bones. He sprang about, sometimes on his +feet, sometimes, all-fours, but always uttering the most fearful yells, +and glaring upon the crowd, in a manner that was really dangerous. The +Knight did not feel exactly happy at the whole proceeding, and began +heartily to wish himself back in the 'House,' even upon a committee of +privileges, when, suddenly, the savage gave a more frantic scream than +before, and seized upon a morsel of raw beef, which a keeper extended to +him upon a long fork, like a tandem whip--he was not safe, it appears, at +close quarters;--this he tore to pieces eagerly and devoured in the most +voracious manner, amid great clapping of hands, and other evidences of +satisfaction from the audience. I'll go, now, thought the Knight: for, +God knows whether, in his hungry moods, he might not fancy to conclude +his dinner by a member of parliament. Just at this instant, some sounds +struck upon his ear that surprised him not a little. He listened more +attentively; and, conceive if you can, his amazement, to find that, amid +his most fearful cries, and wild yells, the savage was talking Irish. +Laugh, if you like; but it's truth I am telling you; nothing less than +Irish. There he was, jumping four feet high in the air, eating his raw +meat: pulling out his hair by handfuls; and, amid all this, cursing the +whole company to his heart's content, in as good Irish as ever was heard +in Tralee. Now, though the Knight had heard of red Jews and white +Negroes, he had never happened to read any account of an African +Irishman; so, he listened very closely, and by degrees, not only the +words were known to him, but the very voice was familiar. At length, +something he heard, left no further doubt upon his mind, and, turning to +the savage, he addressed him in Irish, at the same time fixing a look of +most scrutinizing import upon him. + +"'Who are you, you scoundrel' said the Knight. + +"'Billy M'Cabe your honour.' + +"'And what do you mean by playing off these tricks here, instead of +earning your bread like an honest man?' + +"'Whisht,' said Billy, 'and keep the secret. I'm earning the rent for +your honour. One must do many a queer thing that pays two pound ten an +acre for bad land.' + +"This was enough: the Knight wished Billy every success, and left him +amid the vociferous applause of a well satisfied audience. This +adventure, it seems, has made the worthy Knight a great friend to the +introduction of poor laws; for, he remarks very truly, 'more of Billy's +countrymen might take a fancy to a savage life, if the secret was found +out.'" + +It was impossible for me to preserve my incognito, as Mr. O'Leary +concluded his story, and I was obliged to join in the mirth of Trevanion, +who laughed loud and long as he finished it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + +A REMINISCENCE. + +O'Leary and Trevanion had scarcely left the room when the waiter entered +with two letters--the one bore a German post-mark, and was in the +well-known hand of Lady Callonby--the other in a writing with which I was +no less familiar--that of Emily Bingham. + +Let any one who has been patient enough to follow me through these +"Confessions," conceive my agitation at this moment. There lay my fate +before me, coupled, in all likelihood, with a view of what it might have +been under happier auspices--at least so in anticipation did I read the +two unopened epistles. My late interview with Miss Bingham left no doubt +upon my mind that I had secured her affections; and acting in accordance +with the counsel of Trevanion, no less than of my own sense of right, I +resolved upon marrying her, with what prospect of happiness I dared not +to think of! + +Alas! and alas! there is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation +--mere empty, valueless, heartless flirtation. You hide the dice-box and +the billiard queue, lest your son become a gambler--you put aside the +racing calendar, lest he imbibe a jockey predilection--but you never +tremble at his fondness for white muslin and a satin slipper, far more +dangerous tastes though they be, and infinitely more perilous to a man's +peace and prosperity than all the "queens of trumps" that ever figured, +whether on pasteboard or the Doncaster. "Woman's my weakness, yer +honor," said an honest Patlander, on being charged before the lord mayor +with having four wives living; and without having any such "Algerine act" +upon my conscience, I must, I fear, enter a somewhat similar plea for my +downfallings, and avow in humble gratitude, that I have scarcely had a +misfortune through life unattributable to them in one way or another. +And this I say without any reference to country, class, or complexion, +"black, brown or fair," from my first step forth into life, a raw sub. +in the gallant 4_th, to this same hour, I have no other avowal, no other +confession to make. "Be always ready with the pistol," was the dying +advice of an Irish statesman to his sons: mine, in a similar +circumstance, would rather be "Gardez vous des femmes," and more +especially if they be Irish. + +There is something almost treacherous in the facility with which an +Irish girl receives your early attentions and appears to like them, +that invariably turns a young fellow's head very long before he has any +prospect of touching her heart. She thinks it so natural to be made love +to, that there is neither any affected coyness nor any agitated surprise. +She listens to your declaration of love as quietly as the chief justice +would to one of law, and refers the decision to a packed jury of her +relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy. Love and fighting, too, +are so intimately united in Ireland, that a courtship rarely progresses +without at least one exchange of shots between some of the parties +concerned. My first twenty-four hours in Dublin is so pleasantly +characteristic of this that I may as well relate it here, while the +subject is before us; besides, as these "Confessions" are intended as +warnings and guides to youth, I may convey a useful lesson, showing why +a man should not "make love in the dark." + +It was upon a raw, cold, drizzling morning in February, 18__, that our +regiment landed on the North-wall from Liverpool, whence we had been +hurriedly ordered to repress some riots and disturbances then agitating +Dublin. + +We marched to the Royal Barracks, our band playing Patrick's Day, to the +very considerable admiration of as naked a population as ever loved +music. The __th dragoons were at the same time quartered there--right +pleasant jovial fellows, who soon gave us to understand that the troubles +were over before we arrived, and that the great city authorities were now +returning thanks for their preservation from fire and sword, by a series +of entertainments of the most costly, but somewhat incongruous kind--the +company being scarce less melee than the dishes. Peers and playactors, +judges and jailors, archbishops, tailors, attorneys, ropemakers and +apothecaries, all uniting in the festive delight of good feeding, and +drinking the "glorious memory"--but of whom half the company knew not, +only surmising "it was something agin the papists." You may smile, but +these were pleasant times, and I scarcely care to go back there since +they were changed. But to return. The __th had just received an +invitation to a ball, to be given by the high sheriff, and to which they +most considerately said we should also be invited. This negociation was +so well managed that before noon we all received our cards from a green +liveried youth, mounted on a very emaciated pony--the whole turn-out not +auguring flatteringly of the high sheriff's taste in equipage. + +We dined with the __th, and, as customary before going to an evening +party, took the "other bottle" of claret that lies beyond the frontier of +prudence. In fact, from the lieutenant-colonel down to the newly-joined +ensign, there was not a face in the party that did not betray "signs of +the times" that boded most favourably for the mirth of the sheriff's +ball. We were so perfectly up to the mark, that our major, a Connemara +man, said, as we left the mess-room, "a liqueure glass would spoil us." + +In this acme of our intellectual wealth, we started about eleven o'clock +upon every species of conveyance that chance could press into the +service. Of hackney coaches there were few--but in jingles, noddies, and +jaunting-cars, with three on a side and "one in the well," we mustered +strong--Down Barrack-street we galloped, the mob cheering us, we +laughing, and I'm afraid shouting a little, too--the watchmen springing +their rattles, as if instinctively at noise, and the whole population up +and awake, evidently entertaining a high opinion of our convivial +qualities. Our voices became gradually more decorous, however, as we +approached the more civilized quarter of the town; and with only the +slight stoppage of the procession to pick up an occasional dropper-off, +as he lapsed from the seat of a jaunting-car, we arrived at length at our +host's residence, somewhere in Sackville-street. + +Had our advent conferred the order of knighthood upon the host, he could +not have received us with more "empressement." He shook us all in turn +by the hand, to the number of eight and thirty, and then presented us +seriatim to his spouse, a very bejewelled lady of some forty years--who, +what between bugles, feathers, and her turban, looked excessively like a +Chinese pagoda upon a saucer. The rooms were crowded to suffocation--the +noise awful--and the company crushing and elbowing rather a little more +than you expect where the moiety are of the softer sex. However, "on +s'habitue a tout," sayeth the proverb, and with truth, for we all so +perfectly fell in with the habits of the place, that ere half an hour, +we squeezed, ogled, leered, and drank champagne like the rest of the +corporation. + +"Devilish hot work, this," said the colonel, as he passed me with two +rosy-cheeked, smiling ladies on either arm; "the mayor--that little +fellow in the punch-coloured shorts--has very nearly put me hors de +combat with champagne; take care of him, I advise you." + +Tipsy as I felt myself, I was yet sufficiently clear to be fully alive +to the drollery of the scene before me. Flirtations that, under other +circumstances, would demand the secrecy and solitude of a country green +lane, or some garden bower, were here conducted in all the open +effrontery of wax lights and lustres; looks were interchanged, hands +were squeezed, and soft things whispered, and smiles returned; till +the intoxication of "punch negus" and spiced port, gave way to the far +greater one of bright looks and tender glances. Quadrilles and country +dances--waltzing there was none, (perhaps all for the best)--whist, +backgammon, loo--unlimited for uproar--sandwiches, and warm liquors, +employed us pretty briskly till supper was announced, when a grand +squeeze took place on the stairs--the population tending thitherward with +an eagerness that a previous starvation of twenty-four hours could alone +justify. Among this dense mass of moving muslin, velvet and broad-cloth, +I found myself chaperoning an extremely tempting little damsel, with a +pair of laughing blue eyes and dark eyelashes, who had been committed to +my care and guidance for the passage. + +"Miss Moriarty, Mr. Lorrequer," said an old lady in green and spangles, +who I afterwards found was the lady mayoress. + +"The nicest girl in the room," said a gentleman with a Tipperary accent, +"and has a mighty nice place near Athlone." + +The hint was not lost upon me, and I speedily began to faire l'amiable to +my charge; and before we reached the supper room, learned certain +particulars of her history, which I have not yet forgot. She was, it +seems, sister to a lady then in the room, the wife of an attorney, who +rejoiced in the pleasing and classical appellation of Mr. Mark Anthony +Fitzpatrick; the aforesaid Mark Anthony being a tall, raw-boned, +black-whiskered, ill-looking dog, that from time to time contrived to +throw very uncomfortable looking glances at me and Mary Anne, for she was +so named, the whole time of supper. After a few minutes, however, I +totally forgot him, and, indeed, every thing else, in the fascination of +my fair companion. She shared her chair with me, upon which I supported +her by my arm passed round the back; we eat our pickled salmon, jelly, +blanc mange, cold chicken, ham, and custard; off the same plate, with an +occasional squeeze of the finger, as our hands met--her eyes making sad +havoc with me all the while, as I poured my tale of love--love, lasting, +burning, all-consuming--into her not unwilling ear. + +"Ah! now, ye'r not in earnest?" + +"Yes, Mary Anne, by all that's"-- + +"Well, there now, don't swear, and take care--sure Mark Anthony is +looking." + +"Mark Anthony be--" + +"Oh! how passionate you are; I'm sure I never could live easy with you. +There, now, give me some sponge cake, and don't be squeezing me, or +they'll see you." + +"Yes, to my heart, dearest girl." + +"Och, it's cheese you're giving me," said she, with a grimace that nearly +cured my passion. + +"A cottage, a hut, with you--with you," said I, in a cadence that I defy +Macready to rival--"what is worldly splendour, or the empty glitter of +rank." + +I here glanced at my epaulettes, upon which I saw her eyes rivetted. + +"Isn't the ginger beer beautiful," said she, emptying a glass of +champagne. + +Still I was not to be roused from my trance, and continued my courtship +as warmly as ever. + +"I suppose you'll come home now," said a gruff voice behind Mary Anne. + +I turned and perceived Mark Anthony with a grim look of peculiar import. + +"Oh, Mark dear, I'm engaged to dance another set with this gentleman." + +"Ye are, are ye?" replied Mark, eyeing me askance. "Troth and I think +the gentleman would be better if he went off to his flea-bag himself." + +In my then mystified intellect this west country synonyme for a bed a +little puzzled me. + +"Yes sir, the lady is engaged to me: have you any thing to say to that?" + +"Nothing at present, at all," said Mark, almost timidly. + +"Oh dear, oh dear," sobbed Mary Anne; "they're going to fight, and he'll +be killed--I know he will." + +For which of us this fate was destined, I stopped not to consider, but +amid a very sufficient patting upon the back, and thumping between the +shoulders, bestowed by members of the company who approved of my +proceedings. The three fiddles, the flute, and bassoon, that formed our +band, being by this time sufficiently drunk, played after a fashion of +their own, which by one of those strange sympathies of our nature, +imparted its influence to our legs, and a country dance was performed in +a style of free and easy gesticulation that defies description. At the +end of eighteen couple, tired of my exertions--and they were not slight +--I leaned my back against the wall of the room, which I now, for the +first time, perceived was covered with a very peculiar and novel species +of hanging--no less than a kind of rough, green baize cloth, that moved +and floated at every motion of the air. I paid little attention to this, +till suddenly turning my head, something gave way behind it. I felt +myself struck upon the back of the neck, and fell forward into the room, +covered by a perfect avalanche of fenders, fire-irons, frying-pans, and +copper kettles, mingled with the lesser artillery of small nails, door +keys, and holdfasts. There I lay amid the most vociferous mirth I ever +listened to, under the confounded torrent of ironmongery that +half-stunned me. The laughter over, I was assisted to rise, and having +drank about a pint of vinegar, and had my face and temples washed in +strong whiskey punch--the allocation of the fluids being mistaken, I +learned that our host, the high sheriff, was a celebrated tin and iron +man, and that his salles de reception were no other than his magazine of +metals, and that to conceal the well filled shelves from the gaze of his +aristocratic guests, they were clothed in the manner related; which my +unhappy head, by some misfortune, displaced, and thus brought on a +calamity scarcely less afflicting to him than to myself. I should +scarcely have stopped to mention this here, were it not that Mary Anne's +gentle nursing of me in my misery went far to complete what her +fascination had begun; and although she could not help laughing at the +occurrence, I forgave her readily for her kindness. + +"Remember," said I, trying to ogle through a black eye, painted by the +angle of a register grate--"remember, Mary Anne, I am to see you home." + +"Oh! dear, sir, sure I don't know how you can manage it--" + +Here Mark Anthony's entrance cut short this speech, for he came to +declare that some of the officers had taken his coach, and was, as might +be supposed, in a towering passion. + +"If, sir," said I, with an air of the most balmy courtesy--"If I can be +of any use in assisting you to see your friends home--" + +"Ah! then, ye'r a nice looking article to see ladies home. I wish you +seen yourself this minute," said he. + +As I felt it would be no breach of the unities--time, place, and every +thing considered--to smash his skull, I should certainly have proceeded +to do so, had not a look of the most imploring kind from Mary Anne +restrained me. By this time, he had taken her under the arm, and was +leading her away. I stood irresolute, till a glance from my charmer +caught me; when I rallied at once, and followed them down stairs. Here +the scene was the full as amusing as above; the cloaking, shawling, +shoeing, &c., of the ladies being certainly as mirth-moving a process +as I should wish to see. Here were mothers trying to collect their +daughters, as a hen her chickens, and as in that case, the pursuit of one +usually lost all the others; testy papas swearing, lovers leering, as +they twisted the boas round the fair throats of their sweethearts; vows +of love, mingling with lamentations for a lost slipper, or a stray +mantle. Sometimes the candles were extinguished, and the melee became +greater, till the order and light were restored together. Meanwhile, +each of our fellows had secured his fair one, save myself, and I was +exposed to no small ridicule for my want of savoir faire. Nettled at +this, I made a plunge to the corner of the room, where Mary Anne was +shawling; I recognized her pink sash, threw her cloak over her shoulders, +and at the very moment that Mark Anthony drew his wife's arm within his, +I performed the same by my friend, and followed them to the door. Here, +the grim brother-in-law turned round to take Mary Anne's arm, and seeing +her with me, merely gave a kind of hoarse chuckle, and muttered, "Very +well, sir: upon my conscience you will have it, I see." During this +brief interval, so occupied was I in watching him, that I never once +looked in my fair friend's face; but the gentle squeeze of her arm, as +she leaned upon me, assured me that I had her approval of what I was +doing. + +What were the precise train of my thoughts, and what the subjects of +conversation between us, I am unfortunately now unable to recollect. +It is sufficient to remember, that I could not believe five minutes had +elapsed, when we arrived at York-street. "Then you confess you love me," +said I, as I squeezed her arm to my side. + +"Then, by this kiss," said I, "I swear, never to relinquish."-- + +What I was about to add, I am sure I know not; but true it is, that a +certain smacking noise here attracted Mr. Mark Anthony's attention, who +started round, looked as full in the face, and then gravely added, +"Enough is as good as a feast. I wish you pleasant drames, Mr. Larry +Kar, if that's your name; and you'll hear from me in the morning." + +"I intend it," said I. "Good night, dearest; think of--" The slam of +the street door in my face spoiled the peroration, and I turned towards +home. + +By the time I reached the barracks, the united effects of the champagne, +sherry, and Sheffield iron, had, in a good measure subsided, and my head +had become sufficiently clear to permit a slight retrospect of the +evening's amusement. + +From two illusions I was at least awakened:--First, the high sheriff's +ball was not the most accurate representation of high society; secondly, +I was not deeply enamoured of Mary Anne Moriarty. Strange as it may +seem, and how little soever the apparent connexion between those two +facts, the truth of one had a considerable influence in deciding the +other. N'importe, said I, the thing is over; it was rather good fun, +too, upon the whole--saving the "chute des casseroles;" and as to the +lady, she must have seen it was a joke as well as myself. At least, so I +am decided it shall be; and as there was no witness to our conversation, +the thing is easily got out of. + +The following day, as I was dressing to ride out, my servant announced no +less a person than Mr. Mark Anthony Fitzpatrick, who said "that he came +upon a little business, and must see me immediately." + +Mr. Fitzpatrick, upon being announced, speedily opened his negociation by +asking in very terse and unequivocal phrase, my intentions regarding his +sister-in-law. After professing the most perfect astonishment at the +question, and its possible import, I replied, that she was a most +charming person, with whom I intended to have nothing whatever to do. + +"And maybe you never proposed for her at the ball last night?" + +"Propose for a lady at a ball the first time I ever met her!" + +"Just so. Can you carry your memory so far back? or, perhaps I had +better refresh it;" and he here repeated the whole substance of my +conversation on the way homeward, sometimes in the very words I used. + +"But, my dear sir, the young lady could never have supposed I used such +language as this you have repeated?" + +"So, then, you intend to break off? Well, then, it's right to tell you +that you're in a very ugly scrape, for it was my wife you took home last +night--not Miss Moriarty; and I leave you to choose at your leisure +whether you'd rather be defendant in a suit for breach of promise or +seduction; and, upon my conscience, I think it's civil in me to give you +a choice." + +What a pretty disclosure was here! So that while I was imaging myself +squeezing the hand and winning the heart of the fair Mary Anne, I was +merely making a case of strong evidence for a jury, that might expose me +to the world, and half ruin me in damages. There was but one course +open--to make a fight for it; and, from what I saw of my friend Mark +Anthony, this did not seem difficult. + +I accordingly assumed a high tone--laughed at the entire affair--said it +was a "way we had in the army"--that "we never meant any thing by it," +&c. &c. + +In a few minutes I perceived the bait was taking. Mr. Fitzpatrick's west +country blood was up: all thought of the legal resource was abandoned; +and he flung out of the room to find a friend, I having given him the +name of "one of ours" as mine upon the occasion. + +Very little time was lost, for before three o'clock that afternoon a +meeting was fixed for the following morning at the North Bull; and I had +the satisfaction of hearing that I only escaped the malignant eloquence +of Holmes in the King's Bench, to be "blazed" at by the best shot on the +western circuit. The thought was no way agreeable, and I indemnified +myself for the scrape by a very satisfactory anathema upon the high +sheriff and his ball, and his confounded saucepans; for to the lady's +sympathy for my sufferings I attributed much of my folly. + +At eight the next morning I found myself standing with Curzon and the +doctor upon that bleak portion of her majesty's dominion they term the +North Bull, waiting in a chilly rain, and a raw fog, till it pleased Mark +Anthony Fitzpatrick, to come and shoot me--such being the precise terms +of our combat, in the opinion of all parties. + +The time, however, passed on, and half-past eight, three quarters, and at +last nine o'clock, without his appearing; when, just as Curzon had +resolved upon our leaving the ground, a hack jaunting-car was seen +driving at full speed along the road near us. It came nearer and at +length drew up; two men leaped off and came towards us; one of whom, as +he came forward, took off his hat politely, and introduced himself as Mr. +O'Gorman, the fighting friend of Mark Anthony. + +"It's a mighty unpleasant business I'm come upon, gentlemen," said he, +"Mr. Fitzpatrick has been unavoidedly prevented from having the happiness +to meet you this morning--" + +"Then you can't expect us, sir, to dance attendance upon him here +to-morrow," said Curzon, interrupting. + +"By no manner of means," replied the other, placidly; "for it would be +equally inconvenient for him to be here then. But I have only to say, +maybe you'd have the kindness to waive all etiquette, and let me stand in +his place." + +"Certainly and decidedly not," said Curzon. "Waive etiquette!--why, sir, +we have no quarrel with you; never saw you before." + +"Well, now, isn't this hard?" said Mr. O'Gorman, addressing his friend, +who stood by with a pistol-case under his arm; "but I told Mark that I +was sure they'd be standing upon punctilio, for they were English. Well, +sir," said he, turning towards Curzon, "there's but one way to arrange it +now, that I see. Mr. Fitzpatrick, you must know, was arrested this +morning for a trifle of L140. If you or your friend there, will join us +in the bail we can get him out, and he'll fight you in the morning to +your satisfaction." + +When the astonishment this proposal had created subsided, we assured +Mr. O'Gorman that we were noways disposed to pay such a price for our +amusement--a fact that seemed considerably to surprise both him and his +friend--and adding, that to Mr. Fitzpatrick personally, we should feel +bound to hold ourselves pledged at a future period, we left the ground, +Curzon laughing heartily at the original expedient thus suggested, and I +inwardly pronounced a most glowing eulogy on the law of imprisonment for +debt. + +Before Mr. Fitzpatrick obtained the benefit of the act, we were ordered +abroad, and I have never since heard of him. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + +THE TWO LETTERS. + +From the digression of the last chapter I was recalled by the sight of +the two letters which lay during my reverie unopened before me. I first +broke the seal of Lady Callonby's epistle, which ran thus: + + "Munich, La Croix Blanche, + + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer--I have just heard from Kilkee, that you are + at length about to pay us your long promised visit, and write these + few lines to beg that before leaving Paris you will kindly execute + for me the commissions of which I enclose a formidable list, or at + least as many of them as you can conveniently accomplish. Our stay + here now will be short, that it will require all your despatch to + overtake us before reaching Milan, Lady Jane's health requiring an + immediate change of climate. Our present plans are, to winter in + Italy, although such will interfere considerably with Lord Callonby, + who is pressed much by his friends to accept office. However, all + this and our other gossip I reserve for our meeting. Meanwhile, + adieu, and if any of my tasks bore you, omit them at once, except + the white roses and the Brussels veil, which Lady Jane is most + anxious for. + + "Sincerely yours, + "Charlotte Callonby." + +How much did these few and apparently common-place lines convey to me? +First, my visit was not only expected, but actually looked forward to, +canvassed--perhaps I might almost whisper to myself the flattery--wished +for. Again, Lady Jane's health was spoken of as precarious, less actual +illness--I said to myself--than mere delicacy requiring the bluer sky and +warmer airs of Italy. Perhaps her spirits were affected--some mental +malady--some ill-placed passion--que sais je? In fact my brain run on +so fast in its devisings, that by a quick process, less logical than +pleasing, I satisfied myself that the lovely Lady Jane Callonby was +actually in love, with whom let the reader guess at. And Lord Callonby +too, about to join the ministry--well, all the better to have one's +father-in-law in power--promotion is so cursed slow now a-days. And +lastly, the sly allusion to the commissions--the mechancete of +introducing her name to interest me. With such materials as these to +build upon, frail as they may seem to others, I found no difficulty in +regarding myself as the dear friend of the family, and the acknowledged +suitor of Lady Jane. + +In the midst, however, of all my self-gratulation, my eye fell upon the +letter of Emily Bingham, and I suddenly remembered how fatal to all such +happy anticipations it might prove. I tore it open in passionate haste +and read-- + + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer--As from the interview we have had this + morning I am inclined to believe that I have gained your affections, + I think that I should ill requite such a state of your feeling for + me, were I to conceal that I cannot return you mine--in fact they + are not mine to bestow. This frank avowal, whatever pain it may + have cost me, I think I owe to you to make. You will perhaps say, + the confession should have been earlier; to which I reply, it should + have been so, had I known, or even guessed at the nature of your + feelings for me. For--and I write it in all truth, and perfect + respect for you--I only saw in your attentions the flirting habits + of a man of the world, with a very uninformed and ignorant girl of + eighteen, with whom as it was his amusement to travel, he deemed it + worth his while to talk. I now see, and bitterly regret my error, + yet deem it better to make this painful confession than suffer you + to remain in a delusion which may involve your happiness in the + wreck of mine. I am most faithfully your friend, + + "Emily Bingham." + +What a charming girl she is, I cried, as I finished the letter; how full +of true feeling, how honourably, how straight-forward: and yet it is +devilish strange how cunningly she played her part--and it seems now that +I never did touch her affections; Master Harry, I begin to fear you are +not altogether the awful lady-killer you have been thinking. Thus did I +meditate upon this singular note--my delight at being once more "free" +mingling with some chagrin that I was jockied, and by a young miss of +eighteen, too. Confoundedly disagreeable if the mess knew it, thought I. +Per Baccho--how they would quiz upon my difficulty to break off a match, +when the lady was only anxious to get rid of me. + +This affair must never come to their ears, or I am ruined; and now, the +sooner all negociations are concluded the better. I must obtain a +meeting with Emily. Acknowledge the truth and justice of all her views, +express my deep regret at the issue of the affair, slily hint that I have +been merely playing her own game back upon her; for it would be the devil +to let her go off with the idea that she had singed me, yet never caught +fire herself; so that we both shall draw stakes, and part friends. + +This valiant resolution taken, I wrote a very short note, begging an +interview, and proceeded to make as formidable a toilet as I could for +the forthcoming meeting; before I had concluded which, a verbal answer by +her maid informed me, that "Miss Bingham was alone, and ready to receive +me." + +As I took my way along the corridor, I could not help feeling that among +all my singular scrapes and embarassing situations through life, my +present mission was certainly not the least--the difficulty, such as it +was, being considerably increased by my own confounded "amour propre," +that would not leave me satisfied with obtaining my liberty, if I could +not insist upon coming off scathless also. In fact, I was not content to +evacuate the fortress, if I were not to march out with all the honours of +war. This feeling I neither attempt to palliate nor defend, I merely +chronicle it as, are too many of these confessions, a matter of truth, +yet not the less a subject for sorrow. + +My hand was upon the lock of the door. I stopped, hesitated, and +listened. I certainly heard something. Yes, it is too true--she is +sobbing. What a total overthrow to all my selfish resolves, all my +egotistical plans, did that slight cadence give. She was crying--her +tears for the bitter pain she concluded I was suffering--mingling +doubtless with sorrow for her own sources of grief--for it was clear to +me that whoever may have been my favoured rival, the attachment was +either unknown to, or unsanctioned by the mother. I wished I had not +listened; all my determinations were completely routed and as I opened +the door I felt my heart beating almost audibly against my side. + +In a subdued half-light--tempered through the rose-coloured curtains, +with a small sevres cup of newly-plucked moss-roses upon the table--sat, +or rather leaned, Emily Bingham, her face buried in her hands as +I entered. She did not hear my approach, so that I had above a minute +to admire the graceful character of her head, and the fine undulating +curve of her neck and shoulders, before I spoke. + +"Miss Bingham," said I-- + +She started--looked up--her dark blue eyes, brilliant though tearful, +were fixed upon me for a second, as if searching my very inmost thoughts. +She held out her hand, and turning her head aside, made room for me on +the sofa beside her. Strange girl, thought I, that in the very moment +of breaking with a man for ever, puts on her most fascinating toilette +--arrays herself in her most bewitching manner, and gives him a reception +only calculated to turn his head, and render him ten times more in love +than ever. Her hand, which remained still in mine, was burning as if in +fever, and the convulsive movement of her neck and shoulders showed me +how much this meeting cost her. We were both silent, till at length, +feeling that any chance interruption might leave us as far as ever from +understanding each other, I resolved to begin. + +"My dear, dear Emily," I said, "do not I entreat of you add to the misery +I am this moment enduring by letting me see you thus. Whatever your +wrongs towards me, this is far too heavy a retribution. My object was +never to make you wretched, if I am not to obtain the bliss, to strive +and make you happy." + +"Oh, Harry"--this was the first time she had ever so called me--"how like +you, to think of me--of me, at such a time, as if I was not the cause of +all our present unhappiness--but not wilfully, not intentionally. Oh, +no, no--your attentions--the flattery of your notice, took me at once, +and, in the gratification of my self-esteem, I forgot all else. I heard, +too, that you were engaged to another, and believing, as I did, that you +were trifling with my affections, I spared no effort to win your's. I +confess it, I wished this with all my soul." + +"And now," said I, "that you have gained them"--Here was a pretty sequel +to my well matured plans!--"And now Emily"-- + +"But have I really done so?" said she, hurriedly turning round and fixing +her large full eyes upon me, while one of her hands played convulsively +through my hair--"have I your heart? your whole heart?" + +"Can you doubt it, dearest," said I, passionately pressing her to my +bosom; and at the same time muttering, "What the devil's in the wind now; +we are surely not going to patch up our separation, and make love in +earnest." + +There she lay, her head upon my shoulder, her long, brown, waving +ringlets falling loosely across my face and on my bosom, her hand in +mine. What were her thoughts I cannot guess--mine, God forgive me, were +a fervent wish either for her mother's appearance, or that the hotel +would suddenly take fire, or some other extensive calamity arise to put +the finishing stroke to this embarassing situation. + +None of these, however, were destined to occur; and Emily lay still and +motionless as she was, scarce seeming to breathe, and pale as death. +What can this mean, said I, surely this is not the usual way to treat +with a rejected suitor; if it be, why then, by Jupiter the successful one +must have rather the worst of it--and I fervently hope that Lady Jane be +not at this moment giving his conge to some disappointed swain. She +slowly raised her long, black fringed eyelids, and looked into my face, +with an expression at once so tender and so plaintive, that I felt a +struggle within myself whether to press her to my heart, or--what the +deuce was the alternative. I hope my reader knows, for I really do not. +And after all, thought I, if we are to marry, I am only anticipating a +little; and if not, why then a "chaste salute," as Winifred Jenkins calls +it, she'll be none the worse for. Acting at once upon this resolve, I +leaned downwards, and passing back her ringlets from her now flushed +cheek, I was startled by my name, which I heard called several times in +the corridor. The door at the same instant was burst suddenly open, and +Trevanion appeared. + +"Harry, Harry Lorrequer," cried he, as he entered; then suddenly checking +himself, added "a thousand, ten thousand pardons. But--" + +"But what," cried I passionately, forgetting all save the situation of +poor Emily at the moment, "what can justify--" + +"Nothing certainly can justify such an intrusion," said Trevanion, +finishing my sentence for me, "except the very near danger you run this +moment in being arrested. O'Leary's imprudence has compromised your +safety, and you must leave Paris within an hour." + +"Oh, Mr. Trevanion," said Emily, who by this time had regained a more +befitting attitude, "pray speak out; what is it? is Harry--is Mr. +Lorrequer, I mean, in any danger?" + +"Nothing of consequence, Miss Bingham, if he only act with prudence, and +be guided by his friends. Lorrequer, you will find me in your apartments +in half an hour--till then, adieu." + +While Emily poured forth question after question, as to the nature and +extent of my present difficulty, I could not help thinking of the tact +by which Trevanion escaped, leaving me to make my adieux to Emily as best +I might--for I saw in a glance that I must leave Paris at once. +I, therefore, briefly gave her to understand the affair at the salon +--which I suspected to be the cause of the threatened arrest--and was +about to profess my unaltered and unalterable attachment, when she +suddenly stopped me. + +"No, Mr. Lorrequer, no. All is over between us. We must never meet +again--never. We have been both playing a part. Good by--good by: do +not altogether forget me--and once more, Harry good by." + +What I might have said, thought, or done, I know not; but the arrival of +Mrs. Bingham's carriage at the door left no time for any thing but +escape. So, once more pressing her hand firmly to my lips, I said--"au +revoir, Emily, au revoir, not good by," and rushing from the room, +regained my own, just as Mrs. Bingham reached the corridor. + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + +MR. O'LEARY'S CAPTURE. + +Does she really care for me? was my first question to myself as I left +the room. Is this story about pre-engaged affections merely a got up +thing, to try the force of my attachment for her? for, if not, her +conduct is most inexplicable; and great as my experience has been in +such affairs, I avow myself out maneuvered. While I thought over this +difficulty, Trevanion came up, and in a few words, informed me more fully +upon what he hinted at before. It appeared that O'Leary, much more alive +to the imperative necessity of avoiding detection by his sposa, than of +involving himself with the police, had thrown out most dark and +mysterious hints in the hotel as to the reason of his residence at Paris; +fully impressed with the idea that, to be a good Pole, he need only talk +"revolutionary;" devote to the powers below, all kings, czars, and +kaisers; weep over the wrongs of his nation; wear rather seedy +habiliments, and smoke profusely. The latter were with him easy +conditions, and he so completely acted the former to the life, that he +had been that morning arrested in the Tuilleries gardens, under several +treasonable charges--among others, the conspiracy, with some of his +compatriots to murder the minister of war. + +However laughable such an accusation against poor O'Leary, one +circumstance rendered the matter any thing but ludicrous. Although he +must come off free of this grave offence, yet, the salon transaction +would necessarily now become known; I should be immediately involved, +and my departure from Paris prevented. + +"So," said Trevanion, as he briefly laid before me the difficulty of my +position, "you may perceive that however strongly your affections may be +engaged in a certain quarter, it is quite as well to think of leaving +Paris without delay. O'Leary's arrest will be followed by yours, depend +upon it; and once under the surveillance of the police, escape is +impossible." + +"But, seriously, Trevanion," said I, nettled at the tone of raillery he +spoke in, "you must see that there is nothing whatever in that business. +I was merely taking my farewell of the fair Emily. Her affections have +been long since engaged, and I--" + +"Only endeavouring to support her in her attachment to the more favoured +rival. Is it not so?" + +"Come, no quizzing. Faith I began to feel very uncomfortable about +parting with her, the moment that I discovered that I must do so." + +"So I guessed," said Trevanion, with a dry look, "from the interesting +scene I so abruptly trespassed upon. But you are right; a little bit of +tendresse is never misplaced, so long as the object is young, pretty, and +still more than all, disposed for it." + +"Quite out; perfectly mistaken, believe me. Emily not only never cared +for me; but she has gone far enough to tell me so." + +"Then, from all I know of such matters," replied he, "you were both in a +very fair way to repair that mistake on her part. But hark! what is +this?" A tremendous noise in the street here interrupted our colloquy, +and on opening the window, a strange scene presented itself to our eyes. +In the middle of a dense mass of moving rabble, shouting, yelling, and +screaming, with all their might, were two gens d'armes with a prisoner +between them. The unhappy man was followed by a rather well-dressed, +middle-aged looking woman, who appeared to be desirous of bestowing the +most covam publico endearments upon the culprit, whom a second glance +showed us was O'Leary. + +"I tell you, my dear madam, you are mistaken," said O'Leary, addressing +her with great sternness of manner and voice. + +"Mistaken! Never, never. How could I ever be mistaken in that dear +voice, those lovely eyes, that sweet little nose?" + +"Take her away; she's deranged," said O'Leary to the gens d'armes. +"Sure, if I'm a Pole, that's enough of misfortune." + +"I'll follow him to the end of the earth, I will." + +"I'm going to the galleys, God be praised," said O'Leary. + +"To the galleys--to the guillotine--any where," responded she, throwing +herself upon his neck, much less, as it seemed, to his gratification, +than that of the mob, who laughed and shouted most uproariously. + +"Mrs. Ram, ain't you ashamed?" + +"He calls me by my name," said she, "and he attempts to disown me. Ha! +ha! ha! ha!" and immediately fell off into a strong paroxysm of kicking, +and pinching, and punching the bystanders, a malady well known under the +name of hysterics; but being little more than a privileged mode, among +certain ladies, of paying off some scores, which it is not thought decent +to do in their more sober moments. + +"Lead me away--anywhere--convict me of what you like," said he, "but +don't let her follow me." + +The gens d'armes, who little comprehended the nature of the scene before +them, were not sorry to anticipate a renewal of it on Mrs. Ram's +recovery, and accordingly seized the opportunity to march on with +O'Leary, who turned the corner of the Rue Rivoli, under a shower of +"meurtriers" and "scelerats" from the mob, that fell fortunately most +unconsciously upon his ears. + +The possibility of figuring in such a procession contributed much to the +force of Trevanion's reasonings, and I resolved to leave Paris at once. + +"Promise me, then, to involve yourself in no more scrapes for +half-an-hour. Pack every thing you shall want with you, and, by seven +o'clock, I shall be here with your passport and all ready for a start." + +With a beating brain, and in a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, I threw +my clothes hither and thither into my trunk; Lady Jane and Emily both +flitting every instant before my imagination, and frequently an +irresolution to proceed stopping all my preparations for departure, I sat +down musing upon a chair, and half determined to stay where I was, coute +qui coute. Finally, the possibility of exposure in a trial, had its +weight. I continued my occupation till the last coat was folded, and the +lock turned, when I seated myself opposite my luggage, and waited +impatiently for my friend's return. + + + +EBOOK EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Devilish hot work, this, said the colonel +Empty, valueless, heartless flirtation +Enough is as good as a feast +Finish in sorrow what you have begun in folly +Gardez vous des femmes, and more especially if they be Irish +Jaunting-cars, with three on a side and "one in the well" +Mistaking zeal for inclination +Other bottle of claret that lies beyond the frontier of prudence +Packed jury of her relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy +There is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, +Vol. 5, by Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HARRY LORREQUER, VOL. 5 *** + +***** This file should be named 5238.txt or 5238.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/5/2/3/5238/ + +Produced by Mary Munarin and David Widger + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0b2d918 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #5238 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/5238) diff --git a/old/chl5w10.txt b/old/chl5w10.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..75ef752 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/chl5w10.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4072 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, v5 +#5 in our series Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the +copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing +this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook. + +This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project +Gutenberg file. Please do not remove it. Do not change or edit the +header without written permission. + +Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the +eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file. Included is +important information about your specific rights and restrictions in +how the file may be used. You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers***** + + +Title: The Confessions of Harry Lorrequer, v5 + +Author: Charles James Lever (1806-1872) + +Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5238] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on June 10, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + + + + + +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONFESSIONS OF LORREQUER, V5 *** + + + +This eBook was produced by Mary Munarin +and David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + + + +[NOTE: There is a short list of bookmarks, or pointers, at the end of the +file for those who may wish to sample the author's ideas before making an +entire meal of them. D.W.] + + + + + +THE CONFESSIONS OF HARRY LORREQUER, v5 + +[By Charles James Lever (1806-1872)] + + +Dublin + +MDCCCXXXIX. + + + +Volume 5. (Chapter XXIX-XLI) + + +Contents: + +CHAPTER XXIX +Captain Trevanion's Adventure + +CHAPTER XXX +Difficulties + +CHAPTER XXXI +Explanation + +CHAPTER XXXII +Mr O'Leary's First Love + +CHAPTER XXXIII +Mr O'Leary's Second Love + +CHAPTER XXXIV +The Duel + +CHAPTER XXXV +Early Recollections--A First Love + +CHAPTER XXXVI +Wise Resolves + +CHAPTER XXXVII +The Proposal + +CHAPTER XXXVIII +Thoughts upon Matrimony in general, and in the Army in particular--The +Knight of Kerry and Billy M'Cabe + +CHAPTER XXXIX +A Reminiscence + +CHAPTER XL +The Two Letters + +CHAPTER XLI +Mr O'Leary's Capture + + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +CAPTAIN TREVANION'S ADVENTURE. + +As the day was now waning apace, and I was still unprovided with any one +who could act as my second, I set out upon a search through the various +large hotels in the neighbourhood, trusting that amid my numerous +acquaintance I should be fortunate enough to find some of them at Paris. +With a most anxious eye I scanned the lists of arrivals at the usual +haunts of my countrymen, in the Rue Rivoli, and the Place Vendome, but +without success; there were long catalogues of "Milors," with their +"couriers," &c. but not one name known to me in the number. + +I repaired to Galignani's library, which, though crowded as ever with +English, did not present to me one familiar face. From thence I turned +into the Palais Royale, and at last, completely jaded by walking, and +sick from disappointment, I sat down upon a bench in the Tuilleries +Garden. + +I had scarcely been there many minutes when a gentleman accosted me in +English, saying, "May I ask if this be your property?" showing, at the +same time, a pocket-book which I had inadvertently dropped in pulling out +my handkerchief. As I thanked him for his attention, and was about to +turn away, I perceived that he continued to look very steadily at me. At +length he said, + +"I think I am not mistaken; I have the pleasure to see Mr. Lorrequer, who +may perhaps recollect my name, Trevanion of the 43rd. The last time we +met was at Malta." + +"Oh, I remember perfectly. Indeed I should be very ungrateful if I did +not; for to your kind offices there I am indebted for my life. You must +surely recollect the street row at the 'Caserne?'" + +"Yes; that was a rather brisk affair while it lasted; but, pray, how long +are you here?" + +"Merely a few days; and most anxious am I to leave as soon as possible; +for, independently of pressing reasons to wish myself elsewhere, I have +had nothing but trouble and worry since my arrival, and at this instant +am involved in a duel, without the slightest cause that I can discover, +and, what is still worse, without the aid of a single friend to undertake +the requisite negociation for me." + +"If my services can in any way assist--" + +"Oh, my dear captain, this is really so great a favour that I cannot say +how much I thank you." + +"Say nothing whatever, but rest quite assured that I am completely at +your disposal; for although we are not very old friends, yet I have heard +so much of you from some of ours, that I feel as if we had been long +acquainted." + +This was an immense piece of good fortune to me; for, of all the persons +I knew, he was the most suited to aid me at this moment. In addition to +a thorough knowledge of the continent and its habits, he spoke French +fluently, and had been the most renomme authority in the duello to a +large military acquaintance; joining to a consummate tact and cleverness +in his diplomacy, a temper that never permitted itself to be ruffled, and +a most unexceptionable reputation for courage. In a word, to have had +Trevanion for your second, was not only to have secured odds in your +favour, but, still better, to have obtained the certainty that, let the +affair take what turn it might, you were sure of coming out of it with +credit. He was the only man I have ever met, who had much mixed himself +in transactions of this nature, and yet never, by any chance, had +degenerated into the fire-eater; more quiet, unassuming manners it was +impossible to meet with, and, in the various anecdotes I have heard of +him, I have always traced a degree of forbearance, that men of less known +bravery might not venture to practise. At the same time, when once +roused by any thing like premeditated insult--or pre-determined affront-- +he became almost ungovernable, and it would be safer to beard the lion in +his den than cross his path. Among the many stories, and there were a +great many current in his regiment concerning him, there was one so +singularly characteristic of the man, that, as I have passingly mentioned +his name here, I may as well relate it; at the same time premising that, +as it is well known, I may only be repeating an often-heard tale to many +of my readers. + +When the regiment to which Trevanion belonged became part of the army of +occupation in Paris, he was left at Versailles seriously ill from the +effects of a sabre-wound he received at Waterloo, and from which his +recovery at first was exceedingly doubtful. At the end of several weeks, +however, he became out of danger, and was able to receive the visits of +his brother officers, whenever they were fortunate enough to obtain a +day's leave of absence, to run down and see him. From them he learned +that one of his oldest friends in the regiment had fallen in a duel, +during the time of his illness, and that two other officers were +dangerously wounded--one of whom was not expected to survive. When he +inquired as to the reasons of these many disasters, he was informed that +since the entrance of the allies into Paris, the French officers, boiling +with rage and indignation at their recent defeat, and smarting under the +hourly disgrace which the presence of their conquerors suggested, sought +out, by every means in their power, opportunities of insult; but always +so artfully contrived as to render the opposite party the challenger, +thus reserving to themselves the choice of weapons. When therefore it +is borne in mind that the French are the most expert swordsmen in Europe, +little doubt can exist as to the issue of these combats; and, in fact, +scarcely a morning passed without three or four English or Prussian +officers being carried through the Barriere de l'Etoile, if not dead, at +least seriously wounded, and condemned to carry with them through life +the inflictions of a sanguinary and savage spirit of revenge. + +While Trevanion listened to this sad recital, and scarcely did a day come +without adding to the long catalogue of disasters, he at once perceived +that the quiet deportment and unassuming demeanour which so strongly +characterise the English officer, were construed by their French +opponents into evidences of want of courage, and saw that to so +systematic a plan for slaughter no common remedy could be applied, and +that some "coup d'etat" was absolutely necessary, to put it down once +and for ever. + +In the history of these sanguinary rencontres, one name was continually +recurring, generally as the principal, sometimes the instigator of the +quarrel. This was an officer of a chasseur regiment, who had the +reputation of being the best swordsman in the whole French army, and was +no less distinguished for his "skill at fence," than his uncompromising +hatred of the British, with whom alone, of all the allied forces, he was +ever known to come in contact. So celebrated was the "Capitaine Augustin +Gendemar" for his pursuits, that it was well known at that time in Paris +that he was the president of a duelling club, associated for the express +and avowed object of provoking to insult, and as certainly dooming to +death every English officer upon whom they could fasten a quarrel. + +The Cafe Philidor, at that period in the Rue Vivienne, was the rendezvous +of this reputable faction, and here "le Capitaine" reigned supreme, +receiving accounts of the various "affairs" which were transacting-- +counselling and plotting for the future. His ascendancy among his +countrymen was perfectly undisputed, and being possessed of great +muscular strength, with that peculiarly "farouche" exterior, without +which courage is nothing in France, he was in every way calculated for +the infamous leadership he assumed. + +It was, unfortunately, to this same cafe, being situated in what was +called the English quarter, that the officers of the 43rd regiment were +in the habit of resorting, totally unaware of the plots by which they +were surrounded, and quite unsuspecting the tangled web of deliberate and +cold-blooded assassination in which they were involved, and here took +place the quarrel, the result of which was the death of Trevanion's +friend, a young officer of great promise, and universally beloved in his +regiment. + +As Trevanion listened to these accounts, his impatience became daily +greater, that his weak state should prevent his being among his brother +officers, when his advice and assistance were so imperatively required, +and where, amid all the solicitude for his perfect recovery, he could not +but perceive they ardently wished for him. + +The day at last arrived, and restored to something like his former self, +Trevanion once more appeared in the mess-room of his regiment. Amid the +many sincere and hearty congratulations on his recovered looks, were not +a few half-expressed hints that he might not go much out into the world +for some little time to come. To these friendly admonitions Trevanion +replied by a good-humoured laugh, and a ready assurance that he +understood the intended kindness, and felt in no wise disposed to be +invalided again. "In fact," said he, "I have come up here to enjoy life +a little, not to risque it; but, among the sights of your gay capital, I +must certainly have a peep at your famed captain, of whom I have heard +too much not to feel an interest in him." + +Notwithstanding the many objections to this, made with a view to delay +his visit to the Philidor to a later period, it was at length agreed, +that they should all repair to the cafe that evening, but upon the +express understanding that every cause of quarrel should be strictly +avoided, and that their stay should be merely sufficient to satisfy +Trevanion's curiosity as to the personnel of the renomme captain. + +It was rather before the usual hour of the cafe's filling, that a number +of English officers, among whom was Trevanion, entered the "salon" of the +"Philidor;" having determined not to attract any unusual attention, they +broke into little knots and parties of threes and fours, and dispersed +through the room, where they either sipped their coffee or played at +dominoes, then, as now, the staple resource of a French cafe. + +The clock over the "comptoir" struck eight, and, at the same instant, +a waiter made his appearance, carrying a small table, which he placed +beside the fire, and, having trimmed a lamp, and placed a large fauteuil +before it, was about to withdraw, when Trevanion, whose curiosity was +roused by the singularity of these arrangements, determined upon asking +for whose comfort they were intended. The waiter stared for a moment at +the question, with an air as if doubting the seriousness of him who put +it, and at last replied--"Pour Monsieur le Capitaine, je crois," with a +certain tone of significance upon the latter words. + +"Le Capitaine! but what captain?" said he, carelessly; "for I am a +captain, and that gentleman there--and there, too, is another," at the +same instant throwing himself listlessly into the well-cushioned chair, +and stretching out his legs at full length upon the hearth. + +The look of horror which this quiet proceeding on his part, elicited from +the poor waiter, so astonished him that he could not help saying--"is +there any thing the matter with you, my friend; are you ill?" + +"No, monsieur, not ill; nothing the matter with me; but you, sir; oh, +you, sir, pray come away." + +"Me," said Trevanion; "me! why, my good man, I was never better in my +life; so now just bring me my coffee and the Moniteur, if you have it; +there, don't stare that way, but do as I bid you." + +There was something in the assured tone of these few words that either +overawed or repressed every rising feeling of the waiter, for his +interrogator; for, silently handing his coffee and the newspaper, he left +the room; not, however, without bestowing a parting glance so full of +terror and dismay that our friend was obliged to smile at it. All this +was the work of a few minutes, and not until the noise of new arrivals +had attracted the attention of his brother officers, did they perceive +where he had installed himself, and to what danger he was thus, as they +supposed, unwittingly exposed. + +It was now, however, too late for remonstrance; for already several +French officers had noticed the circumstance, and by their interchange of +looks and signs, openly evinced their satisfaction at it, and their +delight at the catastrophe which seemed inevitable to the luckless +Englishman. + +In perfect misery at what they conceived their own fault, in not +apprising him of the sacred character of that place, they stood silently +looking at him as he continued to sip his coffee, apparently unconscious +of every thing and person about him. + +There was now a more than ordinary silence in the cafe, which at all +times was remarkable for the quiet and noiseless demeanour of its +frequenters, when the door was flung open by the ready waiter, and the +Capitaine Augustin Gendemar entered. He was a large, squarely-built man, +with a most savage expression of countenance, which a bushy beard and +shaggy overhanging moustache served successfully to assist; his eyes were +shaded by deep, projecting brows, and long eyebrows slanting over them, +and increasing their look of piercing sharpness; there was in his whole +air and demeanour that certain French air of swaggering bullyism, which +ever remained in those who, having risen from the ranks, maintained the +look of ruffianly defiance which gave their early character for courage +peculiar merit. + +To the friendly salutations of his countrymen he returned the slightest +and coldest acknowledgments, throwing a glance of disdain around him as +he wended his way to his accustomed place beside the fire; this he did +with as much of noise and swagger as he could well contrive; his sabre +and sabretasch clanking behind, his spurs jangling, and his heavy step, +made purposely heavier to draw upon him the notice and attention he +sought for. Trevanion alone testified no consciousness of his entrance, +and appeared totally engrossed by the columns of his newspaper, from +which he never lifted his eyes for an instant. Le Capitaine at length +reached the fire-place, when, no sooner did he behold his accustomed seat +in the possession of another, than he absolutely started back with +surprise and anger. + +What might have been his first impulse it is hard to say, for, as the +blood rushed to his face and forehead, he clenched his hands firmly, and +seemed for an instant, as he eyed the stranger, like a tiger about to +spring upon its victim; this was but for a second, for turning rapidly +round towards his party, he gave them a look of peculiar meaning, showing +two rows of white teeth, with a grin which seemed to say, "I have taken +my line;" and he had done so. He now ordered the waiter, in a voice of +thunder, to bring him a chair, this he took roughly from him, and placed, +with a crash, upon the floor, exactly opposite that of Trevanion, and +still so near as scarcely to permit of his sitting down upon it. The +noisy vehemence of this action at last appeared to have roused +Trevanion's attention, for he now, for the first time, looked up from his +paper, and quietly regarded his vis-a-vis. There could not in the world +be a stronger contrast to the bland look and courteous expression of +Trevanion's handsome features, than the savage scowl of the enraged +Frenchman, in whose features the strong and ill-repressed workings of +passion were twitching and distorting every lineament and line; indeed no +words could ever convey one half so forcibly as did that look, insult-- +open, palpable, deep, determined insult. + +Trevanion, whose eyes had been merely for a moment lifted from his +paper, again fell, and he appeared to take no notice whatever of the +extraordinary proximity of the Frenchman, still less of the savage and +insulting character of his looks. + +Le Capitaine, having thus failed to bring on the eclaircissement he +sought for, proceeded to accomplish it by other means; for, taking the +lamp, by the light of which Trevanion was still reading, he placed it at +his side of the table, and at the same instant stretching across his arm, +he plucked the newspaper from his hand, giving at the same moment a +glance of triumph towards the bystanders, as though he would say, "you +see what he must submit to." Words cannot describe the astonishment of +the British officers, as they beheld Trevanion, under this gross and open +insult, content himself by a slight smile and half bow, as if returning +a courtesy, and then throw his eyes downward, as if engaged in deep +thought, while the triumphant sneer of the French, at this unaccountable +conduct, was absolutely maddening to them to endure. + +But their patience was destined to submit to stronger proof, for at this +instant le Capitaine stretched forth one enormous leg, cased in his +massive jack-boot, and with a crash deposited the heel upon the foot of +their friend Trevanion. At length he is roused, thought they, for a +slight flush of crimson flitted across his cheek, and his upper lip +trembled with a quick spasmodic twitching; but both these signs were over +in a second, and his features were as calm and unmoved as before, and his +only appearance of consciousness of the affront, was given by his drawing +back his chair and placing his legs beneath it, as for protection. + +This last insult, and the tame forbearance with which it was submitted +to, produced all their opposite effects upon the by-standers, and +looks of ungovernable rage and derisive contempt were every moment +interchanging; indeed, were it not for the all-absorbing interest which +the two great actors in the scene had concentrated upon themselves, the +two parties must have come at once into open conflict. + +The clock of the cafe struck nine, the hour at which Gendemar always +retired, so calling to the waiter for his petit verre of brandy, he +placed his newspaper upon the table, and putting both his elbows upon it, +and his chin upon his hands, he stared full in Trevanion's face, with a +look of the most derisive triumph, meant to crown the achievement of the +evening. To this, as to all his former insults, Trevanion appeared still +insensible, and merely regarded him with his never--changing half smile; +the petite verre arrived; le Capitaine took it in his hand, and, with a +nod of most insulting familiarity, saluted Trevanion, adding with a loud +voice, so as to be heard on every side--"a votre courage, Anglais." He +had scarcely swallowed the liqueur when Trevanion rose slowly from his +chair, displaying to the astonished gaze of the Frenchman the immense +proportions and gigantic frame of a man well known as the largest officer +in the British army; with one stride he was beside the chair of the +Frenchman, and with the speed of lightening he seized his nose by one +hand, while with the other he grasped his lower jaw, and, wrenching open +his mouth with the strength of an ogre, he spat down his throat. + +So sudden was the movement, that before ten seconds had elapsed, all was +over, and the Frenchman rushed from the room, holding the fragments of +his jaw-bone, (for it was fractured!) And followed by his countrymen, +who, from that hour, deserted the Cafe Philidor, nor was there ever any +mention of the famous captain during the stay of the regiment in Paris. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +DIFFICULTIES. + +While we walked together towards Meurice, I explained to Trevanion the +position in which I stood; and having detailed, at full length, the +fracas at the Salon, and the imprisonment of O'Leary, entreated his +assistance in behalf of him, as well as to free me from some of my many +embarrassments. + +It was strange enough--though at first so pre-occupied was I with other +thoughts, that I paid but little attention to it--that no part of my +eventful evening seemed to make so strong an impression on him as my +mention of having seen my cousin Guy, and heard from him of the death of +my uncle. At this portion of my story he smiled, with so much +significance of meaning, that I could not help asking his reason. + +"It is always an unpleasant task, Mr. Lorrequer, to speak in any way, +however delicately, in a tone of disparagement of a man's relatives; and, +therefore, as we are not long enough acquainted--" + +"But pray," said I, "waive that consideration, and only remember the +position in which I now am. If you know any thing of this business, I +entreat you to tell me--I promise to take whatever you may be disposed to +communicate, in the same good part it is intended." + +"Well, then, I believe you are right; but, first, let me ask you, how do +you know of your uncle's death; for I have reason to doubt it?" + +"From Guy; he told me himself." + +"When did you see him, and where?" + +"Why, I have just told you; I saw him last night at the Salon." + +"And you could not be mistaken?" + +"Impossible! Besides, he wrote to me a note which I received this +morning--here it is." + +"Hem--ha. Well, are you satisfied that this is his handwriting?" said +Trevanion, as he perused the note slowly twice over. + +"Why, of course--but stop--you are right; it is not his hand, nor do I +know the wiriting, now that you direct my attention to it. But what can +that mean? You, surely, do not suppose that I have mistaken any one for +him; for, independent of all else, his knowledge of my family, and my +uncle's affairs, would quite disprove that." + +"This is really a complex affair," said Trevanion, musingly. "How long +may it be since you saw your cousin--before last night, I mean?" + +"Several years; above six, certainly." + +"Oh, it is quite possible, then," said Trevanion, musingly; "do you know, +Mr. Lorrequer, this affair seems much more puzzling to me than to you, +and for this plain reason--I am disposed to think you never saw your +cousin last night." + +"Why, confound it, there is one circumstance that I think may satisfy you +on that head. You will not deny that I saw some one, who very much +resembled him; and certainly, as he lent me above three thousand franks +to play with at the table, it looks rather more like his act than that of +a perfect stranger." + +"Have you got the money?" asked Trevanion dryly. + +"Yes," said I; "but certainly you are the most unbelieving of mortals, +and I am quite happy that I have yet in my possession two of the billets +de banque, for, I suppose, without them, you would scarcely credit me." +I here opened my pocket-book, and produced the notes. + +He took them, examined them attentively for an instant, held them between +him and the light, refolded them, and, having placed them in my pocket- +book, said--"I thought as much--they are forgeries." + +"Hold!" said I, "my cousin Guy, whatever wildness he may have committed, +is yet totally incapable of--" + +"I never said the contrary, replied Trevanion, in the same dry tone as +before. + +"Then what can you mean, for I see no alternative between that and +totally discrediting the evidence of my senses?" + +"Perhaps I can suggest a middle course," said Trevanion; "lend me, +therefore, a patient hearing for a few moments, and I may be able to +throw some light upon this difficult matter. You may never have heard +that there is, in this same city of Paris, a person so extremely like +your cousin Guy, that his most intimate friends have daily mistaken one +for the other, and this mistake has the more often been made, from the +circumstances of their both being in the habit of frequenting the same +class in society, where, knowing and walking with the same people, the +difficulty of discriminating has been greatly increased. This +individual, who has too many aliases for one to know which to +particularise him by, is one of that numerous order of beings whom a +high state of civilization is always engendering and throwing up on the +surface of society; he is a man of low birth and mean connexions, but +gifted with most taking manners and an unexceptionable address and +appearance; these advantages, and the possession of apparently +independent means, have opened to him the access to a certain set of +people, who are well known and well received in society, and obtained for +him, what he prizes much more, the admission into several clubs where +high play is carried on. In this mixed assemblage, which sporting habits +and gambling, (that grand leveller of all distinctions,) have brought +together, this man and your cousin Guy met frequently, and, from the +constant allusion to the wonderful resemblance between them, your +eccentric cousin, who, I must say, was never too select in his +acquaintances, frequently amused himself by practical jokes upon their +friends, which served still more to nurture the intimacy between them; +and from this habit, Mr. Dudley Morewood, for such is his latest +patronymic, must have enjoyed frequent opportunities of hearing much of +your family and relations, a species of information he never neglected, +though at the moment it might appear not so immediately applicable to his +purposes. Now, this man, who knows of every new English arrival in +Paris, with as much certainty as the police itself, would at once be +aware of your being here, and having learned from Guy how little +intercourse there had been of late years between you, would not let slip +an opportunity of availing himself of the likeness, if any thing could +thereby turn to his profit." + +"Stop," cried I; "you have opened my eyes completely, for now I remember +that, as I continued to win last night, this man, who was playing hazard +at another table, constantly borrowed from me, but always in gold, +invariably refusing the billets de banque as too high for his game." + +"There his object was clear enough; for besides obtaining your gold, he +made you the means of disseminating his false billets de banque." + +"So that I have been actually playing and winning upon this fellow's +forgeries," said I; "and am perhaps at this very instant inscribed in the +'Livre noir' of the police, as a most accomplished swindler; but what +could be the intention of his note of this morning?" + +"As to that," said Trevanion, "it is hard to say; one thing you may +assuredly rely upon--it is not an unnecessary epistle, whatever be its +object; he never wastes his powder when the game flies too high; so we +must only wait patiently for the unravelment of his plans, satisfied that +we, at least, know something. What most surprises me is, his venturing, +at present, to appear in public; for it is not above two months since an +escapade of his attracted so much attention of the play world here, that +he was obliged to leave, and it was supposed that he would never return +to Paris." + +"One piece of good fortune there is at least," said I, "which, I can +safely say repays me for any and all the annoyance this unhappy affair +may cause me; it is, that my poor old uncle is still alive and well. Not +all my anticipated pleasures, in newly acquired wealth, could have +afforded me the same gratification that this fact does, for, although +never so much his favourite as my cousin, yet the sense of protection-- +the feeling of confidence, which is inseparable from the degree of +relationship between us--standing, as he has ever done, in the light +of a father to me, is infinitely more pleasurable than the possession of +riches, which must ever suggest to me, the recollection of a kind friend +lost to me for ever. But so many thoughts press on me--so many effects +of this affair are staring me in the face--I really know not which way to +turn, nor can I even collect my ideas sufficiently, to determine what is +first to be done." + +"Leave all that to me," said Trevanion; "it is a tangled web, but I think +I can unravel it; meanwhile, where does the Militaire reside? for, among +all your pressing engagements, this affair with the Frenchman must come +off first; and for this reason, although you are not really obliged to +give him satisfaction, by his merely producing your card, and insisting +that you are to be responsible for the misdeeds of any one who might show +it as his own address, yet I look upon it as a most fortunate thing, +while charges so heavy may be at this moment hanging over your head, as +the proceedings of last night involve, that you have a public opportunity +of meeting an antagonist in the field--thereby evincing no fear of +publicity, nor any intention of absconding; for be assured, that the +police are at this moment in possession of what has occurred, and from +the fracas which followed, are well disposed to regard the whole as a +concerted scheme to seize upon the property of the banque, a not uncommon +wind-up here after luck fails. My advice is therefore, meet the man at +once; I shall take care that the prefect is informed that you have been +imposed upon by a person passing himself off as your relative, and enter +bail for your appearance, whenever you are called upon; that being done, +we shall have time for a moment's respite to look around us, and consider +the other bearings of this difficult business." + +"Here, then, is the card of address," said I; "Eugene Dejoncourt +Capitaine de Cavalerie, No. 8, Chausse D'Antin." + +"Dejoncourt! why, confound it, this is not so pleasant; he is about the +best shot in Paris, and a very steady swordsman besides, I don't like +this." + +"But you forget he is the friend, not the principal here." + +"The more good fortune yours," said Trevanion, drily; "for I acknowledge +I should not give much for your chance at twenty paces opposite his +pistol; then who is the other?" + +"Le Baron d'Haulpenne," said I, "and his name is all that I know of him; +his very appearance is unknown to me." + +"I believe I am acquainted with him," said Trevanion; "but here we are at +Meurice. Now I shall just write a few lines to a legal friend, who will +manage to liberate Mr. O'Leary, whose services we shall need, two persons +are usual on each side in this country, and then, 'a l'ouvrage.'" + +The note written and despatched; Trevanion jumped into a cab, and set out +for the Chausse D'Antin; leaving me to think over, as well as I could, +the mass of trouble and confusion that twenty-four hours of life in Paris +had involved me in. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +EXPLANATION. + +It was past seven o'clock when Trevanion made his appearance, accompanied +by O'Leary; and having in few words informed me that a meeting was fixed +for the following morning, near St. Cloud, proposed that we should go to +dinner at Verey's, after which we should have plenty of time to discuss +the various steps to be taken. As we were leaving the hotel for this +purpose, a waiter requested of me to permit Mr. Meurice to speak a few +words to me; which, having agreed to, I entered the little bureau where +this Czar of hotels sits enthroned, and what was my surprise to learn the +request he had to prefer, was nothing less than that I would so far +oblige him as to vacate the room I possessed in the hotel, adding that my +compliance would confer upon him the power to accommodate a "milor" who +had written for apartments, and was coming with a large suite of +servants. Suspecting that some rumour of the late affair at Frescati +might have influenced my friend Meurice in this unusual demand, I +abruptly refused, and was about to turn away, when he, perhaps guessing +that I had not believed his statements, handed me an open letter, saying, +"You see, sir, this is the letter; and, as I am so pressed for spare +room, I must now refuse the writer." + +As my eye glanced at the writing, I started back with amazement to +perceive it was in my cousin Guy's hand, requesting that apartments might +be retained for Sir Guy Lorrequer, my uncle, who was to arrive in Paris +by the end of the week. If any doubt had remained on my mind as to the +deception I had been duped by, this would completely have dispelled it, +but I had long before been convinced of the trick, and only wondered how +the false Guy--Mr. Dudley Morewood--had contrived to present himself to +me so opportunely, and by what means, in so short a space of time, he had +become acquainted with my personal appearance. + +As I mentioned this circumstance of the letter to Trevanion, he could not +conceal his satisfaction at his sagacity in unravelling the mystery, +while this new intelligence confirmed the justness and accuracy of all +his explanations. + +While we walked along towards the Palais Royale, Trevanion endeavoured +not very successfully, to explain to my friend O'Leary, the nature of the +trick which had been practised, promising, at another time, some +revelations concerning the accomplished individual who had planned it, +which, in boldness and daring, eclipsed even this. + +Any one who in waking has had the confused memory of a dream in which +events have been so mingled and mixed as to present no uniform narrative, +but only a mass of strange and incongruous occurrences, without object or +connexion, may form some notion of the state of restless excitement my +brain suffered from, as the many and conflicting ideas my late adventures +suggested, presented themselves to my mind in rapid succession. + +The glare, the noise, and the clatter of a French cafe are certainly not +the agents most in request for restoring a man to the enjoyment of his +erring faculties; and, if I felt addled and confused before, I had +scarcely passed the threshold of Verey's when I became absolutely like +one in a trance. The large salon was more than usually crowded, and it +was with difficulty that we obtained a place at a table where some other +English were seated, among whom I recognised by lately made acquaintance, +Mr. Edward Bingham. + +Excepting a cup of coffee I had taken nothing the entire day, and so +completely did my anxieties of different kinds subdue all appetite, that +the most recherche viands of this well-known restaurant did not in the +least tempt me. The champagne alone had any attraction for me; and, +seduced by the icy coldness of the wine, I drank copiously. This was all +that was wanting to complete the maddening confusion of my brain, and the +effect was instantaneous; the lights danced before my eyes; the lustres +whirled round; and, as the scattered fragments of conversations, on +either side met my ear, I was able to form some not very inaccurate +conception of what insanity may be. Politics and literature, Mexican +bonds and Noblet's legs, Pates de perdreaux and the quarantine laws, the +extreme gauche and the "Bains Chinois," Victor Hugo and rouge et noir, +had formed a species of grand ballet d'action in my fevered brain, and I +was perfectly beside myself; occasionally, too, I would revert to my own +concerns, although I was scarcely able to follow up any train of thought +for more than a few seconds together, and totally inadequate to +distinguish the false from the true. I continued to confound the +counterfeit with my cousin, and wonder how my poor uncle, for whom I was +about to put on the deepest mourning, could possibly think of driving me +out of my lodgings. Of my duel for the morning, I had the most shadowy +recollection, and could not perfectly comprehend whether it was O'Leary +or I was the principal, and indeed cared but little. In this happy state +of independent existence I must have passed a considerable time, and as +my total silence when spoken to, or my irrelevant answers, appeared to +have tired out my companions, they left me to the uninterrupted enjoyment +of my own pleasant imaginings. + +"Do you hear, Lorrequer," at last said Trevanion; "are you asleep, my +dear friend? This gentleman has been good enough to invite us to +breakfast to-morrow at St. Cloud." + +I looked up, and was just able to recognise the well-trimmed moustache of +Mr. Edward Bingham, as he stood mumbling something before me. "St Cloud- +--what of St. Cloud?" said I. + +"We have something in that quarter to-morrow." + +"What is it, O'Leary? Can we go?" + +"Oh! certainly--our engagement's an early one." + +"We shall accept your polite invitation with pleasure"-- + +Here he stooped over, and whispered something in my ear; what, I cannot +say, but I know that my reply, now equally lost to me, produced a hearty +fit of laughing to my two friends. + +My next recollection is, finding myself in a crowded loge at the theatre. +It seems that O'Leary had acceded to a proposal from some of the other +party to accompany them to the Porte St. Martin, where Mrs. Bingham and +her daughter had engaged a box. Amid all the confusion which troubled +thoughts and wine produced in me, I could not help perceiving a studied +politeness and attention on the part of Mr. Edward Bingham towards me; +and my first sobering reflection came, on finding that a place was +reserved for me beside Miss Bingham, into which, by some contrivance I +can in no wise explain, I found myself almost immediately installed. To +all the excitements of champagne and punch, let the attractions of a +French ballet be added, and, with a singularly pretty companion at your +side, to whom you have already made sufficient advances to be aware that +you are no longer indifferent to her, and I venture to predict, that it +is much more likely your conversation will incline to flirting than +political economy; and, moreover, that you make more progress during the +performance of one single pas de deux upon the stage, than you have +hitherto done in ten morning calls, with an unexceptionable whisker and +the best fitting gloves in Paris. Alas! alas! it is only the rich man +that ever wins at rouge et noir. The well-insured Indiaman, with her +cargo of millions, comes safe into port; while the whole venture of some +hardy veteran of the wave, founders within sight of his native shore. So +is it ever; where success would be all and every thing, it never comes-- +but only be indifferent or regardless, and fortune is at your feet, suing +and imploring your acceptance of her favours. What would I not have +given for one half of that solicitude now so kindly expressed in my +favour by Miss Bingham, if syllabled by the lips of Lady Jane Callonby-- +how would my heart have throbbed for one light smile from one, while I +ungratefully basked in the openly avowed preference of the other. These +were my first thoughts--what were the succeeding ones? + +"Comment elle est belle," said a Frenchwoman, turning round in the box +next to us, and directing at the same moment the eyes of a moustached +hero upon my fair companion. + +What a turn to my thoughts did this unexpected ejaculation give rise to! +I now began to consider her more attentively, and certainly concurred +fully in the Frenchwoman's verdict. I had never see her look half so +well before. The great fault in her features, which were most +classically regular, lay in the monotony and uniform character of their +expression. Now this was quite changed. Her cheek was slightly flushed, +and her eyes more brilliant than ever; while her slightly parted lips +gave a degree of speaking earnestness to her expression, that made her +perfectly beautiful. + +Whether it was from this cause I cannot say, but I certainly never felt +so suddenly decided in my life from one course to its very opposite, as I +now did to make l'aimable to my lovely companion. And here, I fear, I +must acknowledge, in the honesty of these confessional details, that +vanity had also its share in the decision. To be the admitted and +preferred suitor of the prettiest woman in company, is generally a strong +inducement to fall desperately in love with her, independently of other +temptations for so doing. + +How far my successes tallied with my good intentions in this respect, I +cannot now say. I only remember, that more than once O'Leary whispered +to me something like a caution of some sort or other; but Emily's +encouraging smiles and still more encouraging speeches had far more +effect upon me than all the eloquence of the united service, had it been +engaged in my behalf, would have effected. Mrs. Bingham, too--who, to do +her justice, seemed but little cognisant of our proceedings--from time to +time evinced that species of motherly satisfaction which very young men +rejoice much in, and older ones are considerably alarmed at. + +The play over O'Leary charged himself with the protection of madam, +while I enveloped Emily in her cachmere, and drew her arm within my own. +What my hand had to do with her's I know not; it remains one of the +unexplained difficulties of that eventful evening. I have, it is true, +a hazy recollection of pressing some very taper and delicately formed +finger--and remember, too, the pain I felt next morning on awaking, by +the pressure of a too tight ring, which had, by some strange accident, +found its way to my finger, for which its size was but ill adapted. + +"You will join us at supper, I hope," said Mrs. Bingham, as Trevanion +handed her to her carriage. "Mr. Lorrequer, Mr. O'Leary, we shall expect +you." + +I was about to promise to do so, when Trevanion, suddenly interrupted +me, saying that he had already accepted an invitation, which would, +unfortunately, prevent us; and having hastily wished the ladies good +night, hurried me away so abruptly, that I had not a moment given for +even one parting look at the fair Emily. + +"Why, Trevanion," said I, "what invitation are you dreaming of? I, for +one, should have been delighted to have gone home with the Binghams." + +"So I perceived," said Trevanion, gravely; "and it was for that precise +reason I so firmly refused what, individually, I should have been most +happy to accept." + +"Then, pray, have the goodness to explain." + +"It is easily done. You have already, in recounting your manifold +embarrassments, told me enough of these people, to let me see that they +intend you should marry among them; and, indeed, you have gone quite far +enough to encourage such an expectation. Your present excited state has +led you sufficiently far this evening, and I could not answer for your +not proposing in all form before the supper was over; therefore, I had no +other course open to me than positively to refuse Mrs. Bingham's +invitation. But here we are now at the 'Cadran rouge;' we shall have our +lobster and a glass of Moselle, and then to bed, for we must not forget +that we are to be at St. Cloud by seven." + +"Ah! that is a good thought of yours about the lobster," said O'Leary; +"and now, as you understand these matters, just order supper, and let us +enjoy ourselves." + +With all the accustomed despatch of a restaurant, a most appetizing petit +souper made its speedy appearance; and although now perfectly divested of +the high excitement which had hitherto possessed me, my spirits were +excellent, and I never more relished our good fare and good fellowship. + +After a full bumper to the health of the fair Emily had been proposed and +drained by all three, Trevanion again explained how much more serious +difficulty would result from any false step in that quarter than from all +my other scrapes collectively. + +This he represented so strongly, that for the first time I began to +perceive the train of ill consequences that must inevitably result, and +promised most faithfully to be guided by any counsel he might feel +disposed to give me. + +"Ah! what a pity," said O'Leary, "it is not my case. It's very little +trouble it would cost any one to break off a match for me. I had always +a most peculiar talent for those things. + +"Indeed!" said Trevanion. "Pray, may we know your secret? for, perhaps, +ere long we may have occasion for its employment." + +"Tell it, by all means," said I. + +"If I do," said O'Leary, "it will cost you a patient hearing; for my +experiences are connected with two episodes in my early life, which, +although not very amusing, are certainly instructive." + +"Oh! by all means, let us hear them," said Trevanion; "for we have yet +two bottles of chambertin left, and must finish them ere we part." + +"Well, agreed," said O'Leary; "only, once for all, as what I am about to +confide is strictly confidential, you must promise never even to allude +to it hereafter in even the most remote manner, much less indulge in any +unseemly mirth at what I shall relate." + +Having pledged ourselves to secrecy and a becoming seriousness, O'Leary +began his story as follows:-- + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +MR. O'LEARY'S FIRST LOVE. + +"It was during the vice-royalty of the late Duke of Richmond that the +incidents I am about to mention took place. That was a few years since, +and I was rather younger, and a little more particular about my dress +than at present." Here the little man cast an eye of stoical +satisfaction upon his uncouth habiliments, that nearly made us forget our +compact, and laugh outright. "Well, in those wild and headstrong days of +youthful ardour, I fell in love--desperately in love--and as always is, I +believe, the case with our early experiments in that unfortunate passion, +the object of my affection was in every way unsuited to me. She was a +tall, dark-haired, dark-eyed maiden, with a romantic imagination, and a +kind of a half-crazed poetic fervour, that often made me fear for her +intellect. I'm a short, rather fat--I was always given this way"--here +he patted a waistcoat that would fit Dame Lambert--"happy-minded little +fellow, that liked my supper of oysters at the Pigeon-house, and my other +creature-comforts, and hated every thing that excited or put one out of +one's way, just as I would have hated a blister. Then, the devil would +have it--for as certainly as marriages are made in heaven, flirtations +have something to say to the other place--that I should fall most +irretrievably in love with Lady Agnes Moreton. Bless my soul, it +absolutely puts me in a perspiration this hot day, just to think over all +I went through on her account; for, strange to say, the more I appeared +to prosper in her good graces, the more did she exact on my part; the +pursuit was like Jacob's ladder--if it did lead to heaven it was +certainly an awfully long journey, and very hard on one's legs. There +was not an amusement she could think of, no matter how unsuited to my +tastes or my abilities, that she did not immediately take a violent fancy +to; and then there was no escaping, and I was at once obliged to go with +the tide, and heaven knows if it would not have carried me to my grave if +it were not for the fortunate (I now call it) accident that broke off the +affair for ever. One time she took a fancy for yachting, and all the +danglers about her--and she always had a cordon of them--young aides-de- +camp of her father the general, and idle hussars, in clanking +sabertasches and most absurd mustachios--all approved of the taste, and +so kept filling her mind with anecdotes of corsairs and smugglers, that +at last nothing would satisfy her till I--I who always would rather have +waited for low water, and waded the Liffey in all its black mud, than +cross over in the ferry-boat, for fear of sickness--I was obliged to put +an advertisement in the newspaper for a pleasure-boat, and, before three +weeks, saw myself owner of a clinker-built schooner, of forty-eight tons, +that by some mockery of fortune was called 'The Delight.' I wish you saw +me, as you might have done every morning for about a month, as I stood on +the Custom-house quay, giving orders for the outfit of the little craft. +At first, as she bobbed and pitched with the flood-tide, I used to be a +little giddy and rather qualmish, but at last I learned to look on +without my head reeling. I began to fancy myself very much of a sailor, +a delusion considerably encouraged by a huge P. jacket and a sou'-wester, +both of which, though it was in the dog-days, Agnes insisted upon my +wearing, saying I looked more like Dirk Hatteraick, who, I understood, +was one of her favourite heroes in Walter Scott. In fact, after she +suggested this, she and all her friends called me nothing but Dirk. + +"Well, at last, after heaven knows how many excuses on my part, and +entreaties for delay, a day was appointed for our first excursion. I +shall never forget that day--the entire night before it I did not close +my eyes; the skipper had told me in his confounded sea-jargon, that if +the wind was in one quarter we should have a short tossing sea; and if in +another a long rolling swell; and if in a third, a happy union of both-- +in fact, he made it out that it could not possibly blow right, an opinion +I most heartily coincided in, and most devoutly did I pray for a calm, +that would not permit of our stirring from our moorings, and thus mar our +projected party of pleasure. My prayer was unheard, but my hopes rose on +the other hand, for it blew tremendously during the entire night, and +although there was a lull towards morning, the sea, even in the river, +was considerable. + +"I had just come to the conclusion that I was safe for this time, when +the steward poked his head into the room and said, + +"'Mr. Brail wishes to know, sir, if he'll bend the new mainsail to-day, +as it's blowing rather fresh, and he thinks the spars light.' + +"'Why the devil take him, he would not have us go out in a hurricane; +surely, Pipes, we could not take out ladies to-day?' + +"'O, bless your heart, yes, sir; it blows a bit to be sure, but she's a +good sea-boat, and we can run for Arklow or the Hook, if it comes +fresher.' + +"'Oh, nonsense, there's no pleasure in that; besides I'm sure they won't +like it--the ladies won't venture, you'll see.' + +"'Ay sir, but they're all on board already: there's eight ladies in the +cabin, and six on deck, and as many hampers of victuals and as much +crockery as if we were a-goin' to Madeira. Captain Grantham, sir, the +soldier officer, with the big beard, is a mixing punch in the grog-tub.' + +"'From the consequences of this day I proclaim myself innocent,' said I +with a solemn voice, as I drew on my duck trowsers, and prepared to set +out. + +"'And the mainsail, sir,' said the steward, not understanding what I +said. + +"'I care not which,' said I, doggedly; 'act or part in this wilful +proceeding I'll not take.' + +"'Ay, ay, sir,' said the stupid wretch, 'then I'll say you're coming, and +he may stretch the large canvas; for the skipper says he likes a wet +jacket when he has gentlemen out.' + +"Never did a victim put on a flame-coloured garment, the emblem of fate, +and set out on the march of death, with a heavier heart, than did I put +on my pilot-coat that morning to join my friends. + +"My last hope deserted me as I saw the little vessel lying beside the +quay; for I continued to trust that in getting out from the dock some +accident or mischance might occur to spoil our sport. But no; there she +lay, rolling and pitching in such a way that, even at anchor, they could +not stand on the deck without holding. Amid the torrent of compliments +for the perfection of all my arrangements, and innumerable sweet things +on my taste in the decoration and fitting up of my cabin, I scarcely felt +myself afloat for some minutes, and we got under weigh amid a noise and +uproar that absolutely prevented the possibility of thought. + +"Hitherto our destination had not been mentioned, and as all the party +appealed to Lady Agnes, I could not be less gallant, and joined them in +their request. + +"'Well then, what do you think of Lambay?' said she, looking at the same +moment towards the skipper. + +"'We can make it, my lady,' said the man, 'but we'll have a roughish sea +of it, for there's a strong point of westward in the wind.' + +"'Then don't think of it,' said I. 'We have come out for pleasure, not +to make our friends sick, or terrify them. It does very well for us +men.' + +"'There you are, Dirk, with your insolent sneers about women's nerves and +female cowardice. Now, nothing but Lambay will content me--what say you, +ladies?' + +"A general reply of approval met this speech, and it was carried by +acclamation. + +"'Lambay then be it,' said I, with the voice of a man, who, entreating to +be shot, is informed that he cannot be afforded that pleasure, as his +sentence is to be hanged. But I must hasten over these painful +recollections. We dropped down the river, and soon left the light-house +and its long pier behind us, the mast bending like a whip, and the sea +boiling like barm over the lee gunwale. Still the spirit of our party +only rose the lighter, and nothing but eulogies upon the men and sailing +of the craft resounded on all sides; the din and buz of the conversation +went on only more loudly and less restrictedly than if the party had been +on shore, and all, even myself, seemed happy, for up to this moment I had +not been sea-sick, yet certain pleasant sensations, that alternately +evinced themselves in my stomach and my head, warned me of what was in +store for me. The word was now given to tack; I was in the act of +essaying a soft speech to Lady Agnes, when the confounded cry of 'ready +about, starboard there, let go sheets and tacks, stand by, hawl.' The +vessel plunged head-foremost into the boiling sea, which hissed on either +bow; the heavy boom swung over, carrying my hat along with it--and almost +my head too. The rest of the party, possibly better informed than +myself, speedily changed their places to the opposite side of the boat, +while I remained holding off fast by the gunwale, till the sea rushing +over, what was now becoming the lee-side, carried me head over heels into +the shingle ballast in the waist. Lord, how they did laugh! Agnes, too, +who never before could get beyond a very faint smile, grew almost +hysterical at my performance. As for me, I only wanted this to complete +my long threatened misfortune; sea sickness in all its most miserable +forms, set in upon me, and, ere half an hour, I lay upon that heap of +small stones, as indifferent to all round and about me as though I were +dead. Oh, the long, dreary hours of that melancholy day; it seemed like +a year. They tacked and tacked, they were beat and tacked again, the sea +washing over me, and the ruffianly sailors trampling upon me without the +slightest remorse, whenever they had any occasion to pass back or +forward. From my long trance of suffering I was partly roused by the +steward shaking my shoulder, saying, + +"'The gentlemen wish to know, sir, if you'd like summat to eat, as +they're a goin' to have a morsel; we are getting into slack water now.' + +"'Where are we?' I replied, in a sepulchral voice. + +"'Off the Hook, sir; we have had a most splendid run, but I fear we'll +catch it soon; there's some dirty weather to the westward.' + +"'God grant it,' said I, piously and in a low tone. + +"'Did you say you'd have a bit to eat. Sir?' + +"'No!--eat!--am I a cannibal?--eat--go away--mark me, my good fellow, +I'll pay you your wages, if ever we get ashore; you'll never set another +foot aboard with me.' + +"The man looked perfectly astounded as he moved away, and my thoughts +were soon engrossed by the proceedings near me. The rattle of knives, +and the jingling of plates and glasses went on very briskly for some +time, accompanied by various pleasant observations of my guests, for such +I judged them, from the mirth which ever followed them. At last I +thought I heard my name, or at least what they pleased to use as its +substitute, mentioned; I strained my ears to listen, and learnt that they +were planning to talk over the pretended intention to run for Cowes, and +see the regatta. This they discussed then, for about twenty minutes, in +a very loud voice, purposely to see its effects upon me; but as I was now +aware of the trick, I gave no sign of any intelligence. + +"'Poor Dirk,' said Grantham; 'I believe by this time he cares very little +which way her head lies; but here comes something better than all our +discussions. Lady Agnes, sit here--Miss Pelham, here's a dry cushion for +you--did you say a wing, Lady Mary?' + +"Now began the crash and clatter of dinner; champagne corks popping, +glasses ringing, and all that peculiar admixture of fracas and fun, which +accompanies a scrambled meal. How they did laugh, and eat, ay, and drink +too. G's punch seemed to have its success, for sick as I was, I could +perceive the voices of the men grow gradually louder, and discovered that +two gentlemen who had been remarkably timid in the morning, and scarcely +opened their lips, were now rather uproariously given, and one even +proposed to sing. + +"If any man, thought I, were to look for an instant at the little scene +now enacting here, what a moral might he reap from it; talk of the base +ingratitude of the world, you cannot say too much of it. Who would +suppose that it was my boat these people were assembled in; that it was +my champagne these people were drinking; that my venison and my pheasants +were feeding those lips, which rarely spoke, except to raise a jest at my +expense. My chagrin increased my sickness and my sickness redoubled my +chagrin. + +"'Mr. Brail,' said I, in a low whisper, 'Mr. Brail.' + +"'Did you speak, sir?' said he, with about as much surprise in his +manner, as though he had been addressed by a corpse. + +"'Mr. Brail,' said I, 'is there any danger here?' + +"'Lord love you, no, sir, she's walking Spanish, and the sea going down; +we shall have lovely weather, and they're all enjoying it, sir,--the +ladies.' + +"'So I perceive,' said I, with a groan; 'so I perceive; but Mr. Brail, +could you do nothing--just to--to startle them a little, I mean for fun +only? Just ship a heavy sea or two, I don't care for a little damage, +Mr. Brail, and if it were to wash over the dinner-service, and all the +wine, I should not like it worse.' + +"'Why, sir, you are getting quite funny, the sickness is going.' + +"'No, Mr. Brail, worse than ever; my head is in two pieces, and my +stomach in the back of my mouth; but I should like you to do this--so +just manage it, will you, and there's twenty pounds in my pocket-book, +you can have it; there now, won't you oblige me, and hark ye, Mr. Brail-- +if Captain Grantham were to be washed over by mere accident it cannot be +helped; accidents are always occurring in boating parties. Go now, you +know what I mean.' + +"'But sir,' began he. + +"'Well, then, Mr. Brail, you won't--very well: now all I have to say is +this: that the moment I can find strength to do it, I'll stave out a +plank; I'll scuttle the vessel, that's all; I have made up my mind, and +look to yourselves now.' + +"Saying these words, I again threw myself upon the ballast, and, as the +gay chorus of a drinking song was wafted across me, prayed devoutly that +we might all go down to the bottom. The song over, I heard a harsh, +gruff voice mixing with the more civilized tones of the party, and soon +perceived that Mr. Brail was recounting my proposal amid the most +uproarious shouts of laughter I ever listened to. Then followed a number +of pleasant suggestions for my future management; one proposing to have +me tried for mutiny, and sentenced to a ducking over the side, another +that I should be tarred on my back, to which latter most humane notion, +the fair Agnes subscribed, averring that she was resolved upon my +deserving my sobriquet of Dirk Hatteraick. My wrath was now the master +even of deadly sickness. I got upon my knees, and having in vain tried +to reach my legs, I struggled aft. In this posture did I reach the +quarter-deck. What my intention precisely was in this excursion, I have +no notion of now, but I have some very vague idea, that I meant to re- +enact the curse of Kehama upon the whole party. At last I mustered +strength to rise; but alas! I had scarcely reached the standing position, +when a tremendous heel of the boat to one side, threw me in the gunwale, +and before I was able to recover my balance, a second lurch pitched me +headlong into the sea. I have, thank God, no further recollection of my +misfortunes. When I again became conscious, I found myself wrapped up in +a pilot-coat, while my clothes were drying: the vessel was at anchor in +Wexford. My attached friends had started for town with post-horses, +leaving me no less cured of love than aquatics. + +"'The Delight' passed over in a few days, to some more favoured son of +Neptune, and I hid my shame and my misfortunes by a year's tour on the +continent." + +"Although I acknowledge," said Trevanion, "that hitherto I have reaped no +aid from Mr. O'Leary's narrative, yet I think it is not without a moral." + +"Well, but," said I, "he has got another adventure to tell us; we have +quite time for it, so pray pass the wine and let us have it." + +"I have just finished the burgundy," said O'Leary, "and if you will ring +for another flask, I have no objection to let you hear the story of my +second love." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +MR. O'LEARY'S SECOND LOVE. + +"You may easily suppose," began Mr. O'Leary, "that the unhappy +termination of my first passion served as a shield to me for a long time +against my unfortunate tendencies towards the fair; and such was really +the case. I never spoke to a young lady for three years after, without a +reeling in my head, so associated in my mind was love and sea-sickness. +However, at last what will not time do. It was about four years from the +date of this adventure, when I became so, from oblivion of my former +failure, as again to tempt my fortune. My present choice, in every way +unlike the last, was a gay, lively girl, of great animal spirits, and a +considerable turn for raillery, that spared no one; the members of her +own family were not even sacred in her eyes; and her father, a reverend +dean, as frequently figured among the ludicrous as his neighbours. + +"The Evershams had been very old friends of a rich aunt of mine, who +never, by the by, had condescended to notice me till I made their +acquaintance; but no sooner had I done so, than she sent for me, and gave +me to understand that in the event of my succeeding to the hand of Fanny +Eversham, I should be her heir, and the possessor of about sixty thousand +pounds. She did not stop here; but by canvassing the dean in my favour, +speedily put the matter on a most favourable footing, and in less than +two months I was received as the accepted suitor of the fair Fanny, then +one of the reigning belles of Dublin. + +"They lived at this time about three miles from town, in a very pretty +country, where I used to pass all my mornings, and many of my evenings +too, in a state of happiness that I should have considered perfect, if +it were not for two unhappy blots--one, the taste of my betrothed for +laughing at her friends; another the diabolical propensity to talk +politics of my intended father-in-law--to the former I could submit; but +with the latter, submission only made bad worse; for he invariably drew +up as I receded, drily observing that with men who had no avowed +opinions, it was ill agreeing; or that, with persons who kept their +politics as a school-boy does his pocket-money, never to spend, and +always ready to change, it was unpleasant to dispute. Such taunts as +these I submitted to as well as I might; secretly resolving, that as I +now knew the meaning of whig and tory, I'd contrive to spend my life, +after marriage, out of the worthy dean's diocese. + +"Time wore on, and at length, to my most pressing solicitations, it was +conceded that a day for our marriage should be appointed. Not even the +unlucky termination of this my second love affair can deprive me of the +happy souvenir of the few weeks which were to intervene before our +destined union. + +"The mornings were passed in ransacking all the shops where wedding +finery could be procured--laces, blondes, velvets, and satins, littered +every corner of the deanery--and there was scarcely a carriage in a +coach-maker's yard in the city that I had not sat and jumped in, to try +the springs, by the special directions of Mrs. Eversham; who never ceased +to impress me with the awful responsibility I was about to take upon me, +in marrying so great a prize as her daughter--a feeling I found very +general among many of my friends at the Kildare-street club. + +"Among the many indispensable purchases which I was to make, and about +which Fanny expressed herself more than commonly anxious, was a saddle- +horse for me. She was a great horsewoman, and hated riding with only +a servant; and had given me to understand as much about half-a-dozen +times each day for the last five weeks. How shall I acknowledge it-- +equestrianism was never my forte. I had all my life considerable respect +for the horse as an animal, pretty much as I dreaded a lion or a tiger; +but as to my intention of mounting upon the back of one, and taking a +ride, I should as soon have dreamed of taking an airing upon a giraffe; +and as to the thought of buying, feeding, and maintaining such a beast at +my own proper cost, I should just as soon have determined to purchase a +pillory or a ducking-stool, by way of amusing my leisure hours. + +"However, Fanny was obstinate--whether she suspected any thing or not I +cannot say--but nothing seemed to turn her from her purpose; and although +I pleaded a thousand things in delay, yet she each day grew more +impatient, and at last I saw that there was nothing for it but to submit. + +"When I arrived at this last and bold resolve, I could not help feeling +that to possess a horse and not be able to mount him, was only deferring +the ridicule; and as I had so often expressed the difficulty I felt in +suiting myself as a cause of my delay, I could not possibly come forward +with any thing very objectionable, or I should be only the more laughed +at. There was then but one course to take; a fortnight still intervened +before the day which was to make me happy, and I accordingly resolved to +take lessons in riding during the intervals, and by every endeavour in my +power become, if possible, able to pass muster on the saddle before my +bride. + +"Poor old Lalouette understood but little of the urgency of the case, +when I requested his leave to take my lessons each morning at six +o'clock, for I dared not absent myself during the day without exciting +suspicion; and never, I will venture to assert, did knight-errant of old +strive harder for the hand of his lady-love than did I during that weary +fortnight, if a hippogriff had been the animal I bestrode, instead of +being, as it was, an old wall-eyed grey, I could not have felt more +misgivings at my temerity, or more proud of my achievement. In the first +three days the unaccustomed exercise proved so severe, that when I +reached the deanery I could hardly move, and crossed the floor, pretty +much as a pair of compasses might be supposed to do if performing that +exploit. Nothing, however, could equal the kindness of my poor dear +mother-in-law in embryo, and even the dean too. Fanny, indeed, said +nothing; but I rather think she was disposed to giggle a little; but my +rheumatism, as it was called, was daily inquired after, and I was +compelled to take some infernal stuff in my port wine at dinner that +nearly made me sick at table. + +"'I am sure you walk too much,' said Fanny, with one of her knowing +looks. 'Papa, don't you think he ought to ride; it would be much better +for him.' + +"'I do, my dear,' said the dean. 'But then you see he is so hard to be +pleased in a horse. Your old hunting days have spoiled you; but you must +forget Melton and Grantham, and condescend to keep a hack.' + +"I must have looked confoundedly foolish here, for Fanny never took her +eyes off me, and continued to laugh in her own wicked way. + +"It was now about the ninth or tenth day of my purgatorial performances; +and certainly if there be any merit in fleshly mortifications, these +religious exercises of mine should stand my part hereafter. A review had +been announced in the Phoenix-park, which Fanny had expressed herself +most desirous to witness; and as the dean would not permit her to go +without a chaperon, I had no means of escape, and promised to escort her. +No sooner had I made this rash pledge, than I hastened to my confidential +friend, Lalouette, and having imparted to him my entire secret, asked him +in a solemn and imposing manner, 'Can I do it?' The old man shook his +head dubiously, looked grave, and muttered at length, 'Mosch depend on de +horse.' 'I know it--I know it--I feel it,' said I eagerly--'then where +are we to find an animal that will carry me peaceably through this awful +day--I care not for his price?' + +"'Votre affaire ne sera pas trop chere,' said he. + +"'Why. How do you mean?' said I. + +"He then proceeded to inform me, that by a singularly fortunate chance, +there took place that day an auction of 'cast horses,' as they are +termed, which had been used in the horse police force; and that from long +riding, and training to stand fire, nothing could be more suitable than +one of these; being both easy to ride, and not given to start at noise. + +"I could have almost hugged the old fellow for his happy suggestion, and +waited with impatience for three o'clock to come, when we repaired +together to Essex-bridge, at that time the place selected for these +sales. + +"I was at first a little shocked at the look of the animals drawn up; +they were most miserably thin--most of them swelled in the legs--few +without sore backs--and not one eye, on an average, in every three; but +still they were all high steppers, and carried a great tail. 'There's +your affaire,' said the old Frenchman, as a long-legged fiddle-headed +beast was led out; turning out his forelegs so as to endanger the man who +walked beside him. + +"'Yes, there's blood for you, said Charley Dycer, seeing my eye fixed on +the wretched beast; 'equal to fifteen stone with any foxhounds; safe in +all his paces, and warranted sound; except,' added he, in a whisper, 'a +slight spavin in both hind legs, ring gone, and a little touched in the +wind.' Here the animal gave an approving cough. 'Will any gentleman say +fifty pounds to begin?' But no gentleman did. A hackney coachman, +however, said five, and the sale was opened; the beast trotting up and +down nearly over the bidders at every moment, and plunging on so that it +was impossible to know what was doing. + +"'Five, ten--fifteen--six pounds--thank you, sir,--guineas'--'seven +pounds,' said I, bidding against myself, not perceiving that I had spoken +last. 'Thank you, Mr. Moriarty,' said Dycer, turning towards an +invisible purchaser supposed to be in the crowd. 'Thank you, sir, you'll +not let a good one go that way.' Every one here turned to find out the +very knowing gentleman; but he could no where be seen. + +"Dycer resumed, 'Seven ten for Mr. Moriarty. Going for seven ten--a +cruel sacrifice--there's action for you--playful beast.' Here the devil +had stumbled and nearly killed a basket-woman with two children. + +"'Eight,' said I, with a loud voice. + +"'Eight pounds, quite absurd,' said Dycer, almost rudely; 'a charger like +that for eight pounds--going for eight pounds--going--nothing above eight +pounds--no reserve, gentlemen, you are aware of that. They are all as it +were, his majesty's stud--no reserve whatever--last time, eight pounds-- +gone.' + +"Amid a very hearty cheer from the mob--God knows why--but a Dublin mob +always cheer--I returned, accompanied by a ragged fellow, leading my new +purchase after me with a bay halter. 'What is the meaning of those +letters,' said I, pointing to a very conspicuous G.R. with sundry other +enigmatical signs, burned upon the animal's hind quarter. + +"'That's to show he was a po-lice,' said the fellow with a grin; 'and +whin ye ride with ladies, ye must turn the decoy side.' + +"The auspicious morning at last arrived; and strange to say that the +first waking thought was of the unlucky day that ushered in my yachting +excursion, four years before. Why this was so, I cannot pretend to +guess; there was but little analogy in the circumstances, at least so far +as any thing had then gone. 'How is Marius?' said I to my servant, as he +opened my shutters. Here let me mention that a friend of the Kildare- +street club had suggested this name from the remarkably classic character +of my steed's countenance; his nose, he assured me, was perfectly Roman. + +"'Marius is doing finely, sir, barring his cough, and the thrifle that +ails his hind legs.' + +"'He'll carry me quietly, Simon, eh?' + +"'Quietly. I'll warrant he'll carry you quietly, if that's all.' + +"Here was comfort. Certainly Simon had lived forty years as pantry boy +with my mother, and knew a great deal about horses. I dressed myself, +therefore, in high spirits; and if my pilot jacket and oil-skin cap in +former days had half persuaded me that I was born for marine +achievements, certainly my cords and tops, that morning, went far to +convince me that I must have once been a very keen sportsman somewhere, +without knowing it. It was a delightful July day that I set out to join +my friends, who having recruited a large party, were to rendezvous at the +corner of Stephen's-green; thither I proceeded in a certain ambling trot, +which I have often observed is a very favourite pace with timid horsemen, +and gentlemen of the medical profession. I was hailed with a most hearty +welcome by a large party as I turned out of Grafton-street, among whom I +perceived several friends of Miss Eversham, and some young dragoon +officers, not of my acquaintance, but who appeared to know Fanny +intimately, and were laughing heartily with her as I rode up. + +"I don't know if other men have experienced what I am about to mention or +not; but certainly to me there is no more painful sensation than to find +yourself among a number of well-mounted, well-equipped people, while the +animal you yourself bestride seems only fit for the kennel. Every look +that is cast at your unlucky steed--every whispered observation about you +are so many thorns in your flesh, till at last you begin to feel that +your appearance is for very little else than the amusement and mirth of +the assembly; and every time you rise in your stirrups you excite a +laugh. + +"'Where for mercy's sake did you find that creature?' said Fanny, +surveying Marius through her glass. + +"'Oh, him, eh? Why he is a handsome horse, if in condition--a charger +your know--that's his style.' + +"'Indeed,' lisped a young lancer, 'I should be devilish sorry to charge +or be charged with him.' And here they all chuckled at this puppy's +silly joke, and I drew up to repress further liberties. + +"'Is he anything of a fencer?' said a young country gentleman. + +"'To judge from his near eye, I should say much more of a boxer,' said +another. + +"Here commenced a running fire of pleasantry at the expense of my poor +steed; which, not content with attacking his physical, extended to his +moral qualities. An old gentleman near me observing, 'that I ought not +to have mounted him at all, seeing he was so damned groggy;' to which I +replied, by insinuating, that if others present were as free from the +influence of ardent spirits, society would not be a sufferer; an +observation that I flatter myself turned the mirth against the old +fellow, for they all laughed for a quarter of an hour after. + +"Well, at last we set out in a brisk trot, and, placed near Fanny, I +speedily forgot all my annoyances in the prospect of figuring to +advantage before her. When we reached College-green the leaders of the +cortege suddenly drew up, and we soon found that the entire street +opposite the Bank was filled with a dense mob of people, who appeared to +be swayed hither and thither, like some mighty beast, as the individuals +composing it were engaged in close conflict. It was nothing more nor +less than one of those almost weekly rows, which then took place between +the students of the University and the town's-people, and which rarely +ended without serious consequences. The numbers of people pressing on to +the scene of action soon blocked up our retreat, and we found ourselves +most unwilling spectators of the conflict. Political watch-words were +loudly shouted by each party; and at last the students, who appeared to +be yielding to superior numbers, called out for the intervention of the +police. The aid was nearer than they expected; for at the same instant a +body of mounted policemen, whose high helmets rendered them sufficiently +conspicuous, were seen trotting at a sharp pace down Dame-street. On +they came with drawn sabres, led by a well-looking gentlemanlike +personage in plain clothes, who dashed at once into the midst of the +fray, issuing his orders, and pointing out to his followers to secure the +ringleaders. Up to this moment I had been a most patient, and rather +amused spectator, of what was doing. Now, however, my part was to +commence, for at the word 'charge,' given in a harsh, deep voice by the +sergeant of the party, Marius, remembering his ancient instinct, pricked +up his ears, cocked his tail, flung up both his hind legs till they +nearly broke the Provost's windows, and plunged into the thickest of the +fray like a devil incarnate. + +"Self-preservation must be a strong instinct, for I well remember how +little pain it cost me to see the people tumbling and rolling before and +beneath me, while I continued to keep my seat. It was only the moment +before and that immense mass were in man to man encounter; now all the +indignation of both parties seemed turned upon me; brick-bats were loudly +implored, and paving stones begged to throw at my devoted head; the wild +huntsman of the German romance never created half the terror, nor one- +tenth of the mischief that I did in less than fifteen minutes, for the +ill-starred beast continued twining and twisting like a serpent, plunging +and kicking the entire time, and occasionally biting too; all which +accomplishments I afterwards learned, however little in request in civil +life, are highly prized in the horse police. + +"Every new order of the sergeant was followed in his own fashion by +Marius; who very soon contrived to concentrate in my unhappy person, all +the interest of about fifteen hundred people. + +"'Secure that scoundrel,' said the magistrate, pointing with his finger +towards me, as I rode over a respectable looking old lady, with a grey +muff. 'Secure him. Cut him down.' + +"'Ah, devil's luck to him, if ye do,' said a newsmonger with a broken +shin. + +"On I went, however, and now, as the Fates would have it, instead of +bearing me out of further danger, the confounded brute dashed onwards to +where the magistrate was standing, surrounded by policemen. I thought I +saw him change colour as I came on. I suppose my own looks were none of +the pleasantest, for the worthy man liked them not. Into the midst of +them we plunged, upsetting a corporal, horse and all, and appearing as if +bent upon reaching the alderman. + +"'Cut him down for heaven's sake. Will nobody shoot him' said he, with a +voice trembling with fear and anger. + +"At these words a wretch lifted up his sabre, and made a cut at my head. +I stooped suddenly, and throwing myself from the saddle, seized the poor +alderman round the neck, and we both came rolling to the ground together. +So completely was he possessed with the notion that I meant to +assassinate him, that while I was endeavouring to extricate myself from +his grasp, he continued to beg his life in the most heartrending manner. + +"My story is now soon told. So effectually did they rescue the alderman +from his danger, that they left me insensible; and I only came to myself +some days after by finding myself in the dock in Green-street, charged +with an indictment of nineteen counts; the only word of truth is what lay +in the preamble, for the 'devil inciting' me only, would ever have made +me the owner of that infernal beast, the cause of all my misfortunes. I +was so stupified from my hearing, that I know little of the course of the +proceedings. My friends told me afterwards that I had a narrow escape +from transportation; but for the greatest influence exerted in my behalf, +I should certainly have passed the autumn in the agreeable recreation of +pounding oyster shells or carding wool; and it certainly must have gone +hard with me, for stupified as I was, I remember the sensation in court, +when the alderman made his appearance with a patch over his eye. The +affecting admonition of the little judge--who, when passing sentence upon +me, adverted to the former respectability of my life, and the rank of my +relatives--actually made the galleries weep. + +"Four months in Newgate, and a fine to the king, then rewarded my taste +for horse-exercise; and it's no wonder if I prefer going on foot. + +"As to Miss Eversham, the following short note from the dean concluded my +hopes in that quarter. + + "'Deanery, Wednesday morning. + + "'Sir,--After the very distressing publicity to which your late + conduct has exposed you--the so open avowal of political opinion, at + variance with those (I will say) of every gentleman--and the + recorded sentence of a judge on the verdict of twelve of your + countrymen--I should hope that you will not feel my present + admonition necessary to inform you, that your visits at my house + shall cease. + + "'The presents you made my daughter, when under our unfortunate + ignorance of your real character, have been addressed to your hotel, + and I am your most obedient, humble servant, + + "'Oliver Eversham.' + + +"Here ended my second affair 'par amours;' and I freely confess to you +that if I can only obtain a wife in a sea voyage, or a steeple chase, I +am likely to fulfill one great condition in modern advertising--'as +having no incumbrance, or any objection to travel.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +THE DUEL. + +Mr. O'Leary had scarcely concluded the narrative of his second adventure, +when the grey light of the breaking day was seen faintly struggling +through the half-closed curtains, and apprising us of the lateness of the +hour. + +"I think we shall just have time for one finishing flask of Chambertin," +said O'Leary, as he emptied the bottle into his glass. + +"I forbid the bans, for one," cried Trevanion. "We have all had wine +enough, considering what we have before us this morning; and besides you +are not aware it is now past four o'clock. So garcon--garcon, there--how +soundly the poor fellow sleeps--let us have some coffee, and then inquire +if a carriage is in waiting at the corner of the Rue Vivienne." + +The coffee made its appearance, very much, as it seemed, to Mr. O'Leary's +chagrin, who, however, solaced himself by sundry petits verres, to +correct the coldness of the wine he had drank, and at length recovered +his good humour. + +"Do you know, now," said he, after a short pause, in which we had all +kept silence, "I think what we are about to do, is the very ugliest way +of finishing a pleasant evening. For my own part I like the wind up we +used to have in 'Old Trinity' formerly; when, after wringing off half a +dozen knockers, breaking the lamps at the post-office, and getting out +the fire engines of Werburgh's parish, we beat a few watchmen, and went +peaceably to bed." + +"Well, not being an Irishman," said Trevanion, "I'm half disposed to +think that even our present purpose is nearly as favourable to life and +limb; but here comes my servant. Well, John, is all arranged, and the +carriage ready?" + +Having ascertained that the carriage was in waiting, and that the small +box--brass bound and Bramah-locked--reposed within, we paid our bill and +departed. A cold, raw, misty-looking morning, with masses of dark +louring clouds overhead, and channels of dark and murky water beneath, +were the pleasant prospects which met us as we issued forth from the +Cafe. The lamps, which hung suspended midway across the street, (we +speak of some years since,) creaked, with a low and plaintive sound, as +they swung backwards and forwards in the wind. Not a footstep was heard +in the street--nothing but the heavy patter of the rain as it fell +ceaselessly upon the broad pavement. It was, indeed, a most depressing +and dispiriting accompaniment to our intended excursion: and even +O'Leary, who seemed to have but slight sympathy with external influences, +felt it, for he spoke but little, and was scarcely ten minutes in the +carriage till he was sound asleep. This was, I confess, a great relief +to me; for, however impressed I was, and to this hour am, with the many +sterling qualitites of my poor friend, yet, I acknowledge, that this was +not precisely the time I should have cared for their exercise, and would +have much preferred the companionship of a different order of person, +even though less long acquainted with him. Trevanion was, of all others, +the most suitable for this purpose; and I felt no embarrassment in +opening my mind freely to him upon subjects which, but twenty-four +hours previous, I could not have imparted to a brother. + +There is no such unlocker of the secrets of the heart as the possibly +near approach of death. Indeed, I question if a great deal of the +bitterness the thought of it inspires, does not depend upon that very +circumstance. The reflection that the long-treasured mystery of our +lives (and who is there without some such?) is about to become known, and +the secret of our inmost heart laid bare, is in itself depressing. Not +one kind word, nor one remembrancing adieu, to those we are to leave for +ever, can be spoken or written, without calling up its own story of half- +forgotten griefs or, still worse, at such a moment, of happiness never +again to be partaken of. + +"I cannot explain why," said I to Trevanion, "but although it has +unfortunately been pretty often my lot to have gone out on occasions +like this, both as principal and friend, yet never before did I feel so +completely depressed and low-spirited--and never, in fact, did so many +thoughts of regret arise before me for much of the past, and sorrow for +the chance of abandoning the future"-- + +"I can understand," said Trevanion, interrupting--"I have heard of your +prospect in the Callonby family, and certainly, with such hopes, I can +well conceive how little one would be disposed to brook the slightest +incident which could interfere with their accomplishment; but, now that +your cousin Guy's pretensions in that quarter are at an end, I suppose, +from all I have heard, that there can be no great obstacle to yours." + +"Guy's pretensions at an end! For heaven's sake, tell me all you know of +this affair--for up to this moment I am in utter ignorance of every thing +regarding his position among the Callonby family." + +"Unfortunately," replied Trevanion, "I know but little, but still that +little is authentic--Guy himself having imparted the secret to a very +intimate friend of mine. It appears, then, that your cousin, having +heard that the Callonbys had been very civil to you in Ireland, and made +all manner of advances to you--had done so under the impression that you +were the other nephew of Sir Guy, and consequently the heir of a large +fortune--that is, Guy himself--and that they had never discovered the +mistake during the time they resided in Ireland, when they not only +permitted, but even encouraged the closest intimacy between you and Lady +Jane. Is so far true?" + +"I have long suspected it. Indeed in no other way can I account for the +reception I met with from the Callonbys. But is it possible that Lady +Jane could have lent herself to any thing so unworthy."-- + +"Pray, hear me out," said Trevanion, who was evidently struck by the +despondency of my voice and manner. "Guy having heard of their mistake, +and auguring well to himself from this evidence of their disposition, no +sooner heard of their arrival in Paris, than he came over here and got +introduced to them. From that time he scarcely ever left their house, +except to accompany them into society, or to the theatres. It is said +that with Lady Jane he made no progress. Her manner, at the beginning +cold and formal, became daily more so; until, at last, he was half +disposed to abandon the pursuit--in which, by the by, he has since +confessed, monied views entered more than any affection for the lady-- +when the thought struck him to benefit by what he supposed at first to be +the great bar to his success. He suddenly pretended to be only desirous +of intimacy with Lady Jane, from having heard so much of her from you-- +affected to be greatly in your confidence--and, in fact, assumed the +character of a friend cognizant of all your feelings and hopes, and +ardently desiring, by every means in his power, to advance your views--" + +"And was it thus he succeeded," I broke in. + +"'Twas thus he endeavoured to succeed," said Trevanion. + +"Ah, with what success I but too well know" said I. "My uncle himself +showed me a letter from Guy, in which he absolutely speaks of the affair +as settled, and talks of Lady Jane as about to be his wife." + +"That may be all quite true; but a little consideration of Guy's tactics +will show what he intended; for I find that he induced your uncle, by +some representations of his, to make the most handsome proposals, with +regard to the marriage, to the Callonbys; and that, to make the story +short, nothing but the decided refusal of Lady Jane, who at length saw +through his entire game prevented the match." + +"And then she did refuse him," said I, with ill-repressed exultation. + +"Of that there can be no doubt; for independently of all the gossip and +quizzing upon the subject, to which Guy was exposed in the coteries, he +made little secret of it himself--openly avowing that he did not consider +a repulse a defeat, and that he resolved to sustain the siege as +vigorously as ever." + +However interested I felt in all Trevanion was telling me, I could not +help falling into a train of thinking on my first acquaintance with the +Callonbys. There are, perhaps, but few things more humiliating than the +knowledge that any attention or consideration we have met with, has been +paid us in mistake for another; and in the very proportion that they were +prized before, are they detested when the truth is known to us. + +To all the depressing influences these thoughts suggested, came the +healing balm that Lady Jane was true to me--that she, at least, however +others might be biassed by worldly considerations--that she cared for me +--for myself alone. My reader (alas! for my character for judgment) +knows upon how little I founded the conviction; but I have often, in +these Confessions, avowed my failing, par excellence, to be a great taste +for self-deception; and here was a capital occasion for its indulgence. + +"We shall have abundant time to discuss this later on," said Trevanion, +laying his hand upon my shoulder to rouse my wandering attention--"for +now, I perceive, we have only eight minutes to spare." + +As he spoke, a dragoon officer, in an undress, rode up to the window of +the carriage, and looking steadily at our party for a few seconds, asked +if we were "Messieurs les Anglais;" and, almost without waiting for +reply, added, "You had better not go any farther in your carriage, for the +next turn of the road will bring you in sight of the village." + +We accordingly stopped the driver, and having (with) some difficulty +aroused O'Leary, got out upon the road. The militaire here gave his +horse to a groom, and proceeded to guide us through a corn-field by a +narrow path, with whose windings and crossings he appeared quite +conversant. We at length reached the brow of a little hill, from which +an extended view of the country lay before us, showing the Seine winding +its tranquil course between the richly tilled fields, dotted with many a +pretty cottage. Turning abruptly from this point, our guide led us, by a +narrow and steep path, into a little glen, planted with poplar and +willows. A small stream ran through this, and by the noise we soon +detected that a mill was not far distant, which another turning brought +us at once in front of. + +And here I cannot help dwelling upon the "tableau" which met our view. +In the porch of the little rural mill sat two gentlemen, one of whom I +immediately recognised as the person who had waited upon me, and the +other I rightly conjectured to be my adversary. Before them stood a +small table, covered with a spotless napkin, upon which a breakfast +equipage was spread--a most inviting melon and a long, slender-necked +bottle, reposing in a little ice-pail, forming part of the "materiel." +My opponent was cooly enjoying his cigar--a half-finished cup of coffee +lay beside him--his friend was occupied in examining the caps of the +duelling pistols, which were placed upon a chair. No sooner had we +turned the angle which brought us in view, than they both rose, and, +taking off their hats with much courtesy, bade us good morning. + +"May I offer you a cup of coffee," said Monsieur Derigny to me, as I came +up, at the same time filling it out, and pushing over a little flask of +Cogniac towards me. + +A look from Trevanion decided my acceptance of the proferred civility, +and I seated myself in the chair beside the baron. Trevanion meanwhile +had engaged my adversary in conversation along with the stranger, who had +been our guide, leaving O'Leary alone unoccupied, which, however, he did +not long remain; for, although uninvited by the others, he seized a knife +and fork, and commenced a vigorous attack upon a partridge pie near him; +and, with equal absence of ceremony, uncorked the champaign and filled +out a foaming goblet, nearly one-third of the whole bottle, adding-- + +"I think, Mr. Lorrequer, there's nothing like showing them that we are +just as cool and unconcerned as themselves." + +If I might judge from the looks of the party, a happier mode of +convincing them of our "free-and-easy" feelings could not possibly have +been discovered. From any mortification this proceeding might have +caused me, I was speedily relieved by Trevanion calling O'Leary to one +side, while he explained to him that he must nominally act as second on +the ground, as Trevanion, being a resident in Paris, might become liable +to a prosecution, should any thing serious arise, while O'Leary, as a +mere passer through, could cross the frontier into Germany, and avoid all +trouble. + +O'Leary at once acceded--perhaps the more readily because he expected to +be allowed to return to his breakfast--but in this he soon found himself +mistaken, for the whole party now rose, and preceded by the baron, +followed the course of the little stream. + +After about five minutes' walking, we found ourselves at the outlet of +the glen, which was formed by a large stone quarry, making a species of +amphitheatre, with lofty walls of rugged granite, rising thirty or forty +feet on either side of us. The ground was smooth and level as a boarded +floor, and certainly to amateurs in these sort of matters, presented a +most perfect spot for a "meeting." + +The stranger who had just joined us, could not help remarking our looks +of satisfaction at the choice of ground, and observed to me-- + +"This is not the first affair that this little spot has witnessed; and +the moulinet of St. Cloud is, I think, the very best 'meet' about Paris." + +Trevanion who, during these few minutes, had been engaged with Derigny, +now drew me aside. + +"Well, Lorrequer, have you any recollection now of having seen your +opponent before? or can you make a guess at the source of all this?" + +"Never till this instant," said I, "have I beheld him," as I looked +towards the tall, stoutly-built figure of my adversary, who was very +leisurely detaching a cordon from his tightly fitting frock, doubtless to +prevent its attracting my aim. + +"Well, never mind, I shall manage every thing properly. What can you do +with the small sword, for they have rapiers at the mill?" + +"Nothing whatever; I have not fenced since I was a boy." + +"N'importe--then we'll fight at a barriere. I know they're not prepared +for that from Englishmen; so just step on one side now, and leave me to +talk it over." + +As the limited nature of the ground did not permit me to retire to a +distance, I became involuntarily aware of a dialogue, which even the +seriousness of the moment could scarcely keep me from laughing at +outright. + +It was necessary, for the sake of avoiding any possible legal difficulty +in the result, that O'Leary should give his assent to every step of the +arrangement; and being totally ignorant of French, Trevanion had not only +to translate for him, but also to render in reply O'Leary's own comments +or objections to the propositions of the others. + +"Then it is agreed--we fight at a barriere," said the Captain Derigny. + +"What's that, Trevanion?" + +"We have agreed to place them at a barriere," replied Trevanion. + +"That's strange," muttered O'Leary to himself, who, knowing that the word +meant a "turnpike," never supposed it had any other signification. + +"Vingt quatre pas, n'est pas," said Derigny. + +"Too far," interposed Trevanion. + +"What does he say now?" asked O'Leary. + +"Twenty-four paces for the distance." + +"Twenty-four of my teeth he means," said O'Leary, snapping his fingers. +"What does he think of the length of Sackville-street? Ask him that, +will ye?" + +"What says Monsieur?" said the Frenchman. + +"He thinks the distance much too great." + +"He may be mistaken," said the Captain, half sneeringly. "My friend is +'de la premiere force.'" + +"That must be something impudent, from your looks, Mr. Trevanion. Isn't +it a thousand pities I can't speak French?" + +"What say you, then, to twelve paces? Fire together, and two shots each, +if the first fire be inconclusive," said Trevanion. + +"And if necessary," added the Frenchman, carelessly, "conclude with +these"--touching the swords with his foot as he spoke. + +"The choice of the weapon lies with us, I opine, "replied Trevanion. +"We have already named pistols, and by them we shall decide this matter." + +It was at length, after innumerable objections, agreed upon that we +should be placed back to back, and at a word given each walk forward to a +certain distance marked out by a stone, where we were to halt, and at the +signal, "une," "deux," turn round and fire. + +This, which is essentially a French invention in duelling, was perfectly +new to me, but by no means to Trevanion, who was fully aware of the +immense consequence of not giving even a momentary opportunity for aim to +my antagonist; and in this mode of firing the most practised and deadly +shot is liable to err--particularly if the signal be given quickly. + +While Trevanion and the Captain were measuring out the ground, a little +circumstance which was enacted near me was certainly not over calculated +to strengthen my nerve. The stranger who had led us to the ground had +begun to examine the pistols, and finding that one of them was loaded, +turned towards my adversary, saying, "De Haultpenne, you have forgotten +to draw the charge. Come let us see what vein you are in." At the same +time, drawing off his large cavalry glove, he handed the pistol to his +friend. + +"A double Napoleon you don't hit the thumb." + +"Done," said the other, adjusting the weapon in his hand. + +The action was scarcely performed, when the bettor flung the glove into +the air with all his force. My opponent raised his pistol, waited for an +instant, till the glove, having attained its greatest height, turned to +fall again. Then click went the trigger--the glove turned round and +round half-a-dozen times, and fell about twenty yards off, and the thumb +was found cut clearly off at the juncture with the hand. + +This--which did not occupy half as long as I have spent in recounting it +--was certainly a pleasant introduction to standing at fifteen yards from +the principal actor; and I should doubtless have felt it in all its +force, had not my attention been drawn off by the ludicrous expression of +grief in O'Leary's countenance, who evidently regarded me as already +defunct. + +"Now, Lorrequer, we are ready," said Trevanion, coming forward; and then, +lowering his voice, added, "All is in your favour; I have won the 'word,' +which I shall give the moment you halt. So turn and fire at once: be +sure not to go too far round in the turn--that is the invariable error in +this mode of firing; only no hurry--be calm." + +"Now, Messieurs," said Derigny, as he approached with his friend leaning +upon his arm, and placed him in the spot allotted to him. Trevanion then +took my arm, and placed me back to back to my antagonist. As I took up +my ground, it so chanced that my adversary's spur slightly grazed me, +upon which he immediately turned round, and, with the most engaging +smile, begged a "thousand pardons," and hoped I was not hurt. + +O'Leary, who saw the incident, and guessed the action aright, called out: + +"Oh, the cold-blooded villain; the devil a chance for you, Mr. +Lorrequer." + +"Messieurs, your pistols," said Le Capitaine la Garde, who, as he handed +the weapons, and repeated once more the conditions of the combat, gave +the word to march. + +I now walked slowly forward to the place marked out by the stone; but it +seemed that I must have been in advance of my opponent, for I remember +some seconds elapsed before Trevanion coughed slightly, and then with a +clear full voice called out "Une," "Deux." I had scarcely turned myself +half round, when my right arm was suddenly lifted up, as if by a galvanic +shock. My pistol jerked upwards, and exploded the same moment, and then +dropped powerlessly from my hand, which I now felt was covered with warm +blood from a wound near the elbow. From the acute but momentary pang +this gave me, my attention was soon called off; for scarcely had my arm +been struck, when a loud clattering noise to my left induced me to turn, +and then, to my astonishment, I saw my friend O'Leary about twelve feet +from the ground, hanging on by some ash twigs that grew from the clefts +of the granite. Fragments of broken rock were falling around him, and +his own position momentarily threatened a downfall. He was screaming +with all his might; but what he said was entirely lost in the shouts of +laughter of Trevanion and the Frenchmen, who could scarcely stand with +the immoderate exuberance of their mirth. + +I had not time to run to his aid--which, although wounded, I should have +done--when the branch he clung to, slowly yielded with his weight, and +the round, plump figure of my poor friend rolled over the little cleft of +rock, and, after a few faint struggles, came tumbling heavily down, and +at last lay peaceably in the deep heather at the bottom--his cries the +whole time being loud enough to rise even above the vociferous laughter +of the others. + +I now ran forward, as did Trevanion, when O'Leary, turning his eyes +towards me, said, in the most piteous manner-- + +"Mr. Lorrequer, I forgive you--here is my hand--bad luck to their French +way of fighting, that's all--it's only good for killing one's friend. +I thought I was safe up there, come what might." + +"My dear O'Leary," said I, in an agony, which prevented my minding the +laughing faces around me, "surely you don't mean to say that I have +wounded you?" + +"No, dear, not wounded, only killed me outright--through the brain it +must be, from the torture I'm suffering." + +The shout with which this speech was received, sufficiently aroused me; +while Trevanion, with a voice nearly choked with laughter, said-- + +"Why, Lorrequer, did you not see that your pistol, on being struck, threw +your ball high up on the quarry; fortunately, however, about a foot and a +half above Mr. O'Leary's head, whose most serious wounds are his +scratched hands and bruised bones from his tumble." + +This explanation, which was perfectly satisfactory to me, was by no means +so consoling to poor O'Leary, who lay quite unconscious to all around, +moaning in the most melancholy manner. Some of the blood, which +continued to flow fast from my wound, having dropped upon his face, +roused him a little--but only to increase his lamentation for his own +destiny, which he believed was fast accomplishing. + +"Through the skull--clean through the skull--and preserving my senses to +the last! Mr. Lorrequer, stoop down--it is a dying man asks you--don't +refuse me a last request. There's neither luck nor grace, honor nor +glory in such a way of fighting--so just promise me you'll shoot that +grinning baboon there, when he's going off the ground, since it's the +fashion to fire at a man with his back to you. Bring him down, and I'll +die easy." + +And with these words he closed his eyes, and straightened out his legs-- +stretched his arm at either side, and arranged himself as much corpse +fashion as the circumstances of the ground would permit--while I now +freely participated in the mirth of the others, which, loud and +boisterous as it was, never reached the ears of O'Leary. + +My arm had now become so painful, that I was obliged to ask Trevanion to +assist me in getting off my coat. The surprise of the Frenchmen on +learning that I was wounded was very considerable--O'Leary's catastrophe +having exclusively engaged all attention. My arm was now examined, when +it was discovered that the ball had passed through from one side to the +other, without apparently touching the bone; the bullet and the portion +of my coat carried in by it both lay in my sleeve. The only serious +consequence to be apprehended was the wound of the blood-vessel, which +continued to pour forth blood unceasingly, and I was just surgeon enough +to guess that an artery had been cut. + +Trevanion bound his handkerchief tightly across the wound, and assisted +me to the high road, which, so sudden was the loss of blood, I reached +with difficulty. During all these proceedings, nothing could be possibly +more kind and considerate than the conduct of our opponents. All the +farouche and swaggering air which they had deemed the "rigueur" before, +at once fled, and in its place we found the most gentlemanlike attention +and true politeness. + +As soon as I was enabled to speak upon the matter, I begged Trevanion to +look to poor O'Leary, who still lay upon the ground in a state of perfect +unconsciousness. Captain Derigny, on hearing my wish, at once returned +to the quarry, and, with the greatest difficulty, persuaded my friend to +rise and endeavour to walk, which at last he did attempt, calling him to +bear witness that it perhaps was the only case on record where a man with +a bullet in his brain had made such an exertion. + +With a view to my comfort and quiet, they put him into the cab of Le +Baron; and, having undertaken to send Dupuytrien to me immediately on my +reaching Paris, took their leave, and Trevanion and I set out homeward. + +Not all my exhaustion and debility--nor even the acute pain I was +suffering, could prevent my laughing at O'Leary's adventure; and it +required all Trevanion's prudence to prevent my indulging too far in my +recollection of it. + +When we reached Meurice's, I found Dupuytrien in waiting, who immediately +pronounced the main artery of the limb as wounded; and almost as +instantaneously proceeded to pass a ligature round it. This painful +business being concluded, I was placed upon a sofa, and being plentifully +supplied with lemonade, and enjoined to keep quiet, left to my own +meditations, such as they were, till evening--Trevanion having taken upon +him to apologize for our absence at Mrs. Bingham's dejeune, and O'Leary +being fast asleep in his own apartments. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +EARLY RECOLLECTIONS--A FIRST LOVE. + +I know of no sensations so very nearly alike, as those felt on awaking +after very sudden and profuse loss of blood, and those resulting from a +large dose of opium. The dizziness, the confusion, and the abstraction +at first, gradually yielding, as the senses became clearer, to a vague +and indistinct consciousness; then the strange mistiness, in which fact +and fiction are wrapped up--the confounding of persons, and places, and +times, not so as to embarrass and annoy--for the very debility you feel +subdues all irritation--but rather to present a panoramic picture of odd +and incongruous events more pleasing than otherwise. + +Of the circumstances by which I was thus brought to a sick couch, I had +not even the most vague recollection--the faces and the dress of all +those I had lately seen were vividly before me; but how, and for what +purpose I knew not. Something in their kindness and attention had left +an agreeable impression upon my mind, and without being able, or even +attempting to trace it, I felt happy in the thought. While thus the +"hour before" was dim and indistinct, the events of years past were +vividly and brightly pictured before me; and strange, too, the more +remote the period, the more did it seem palpable and present to my +imagination. For so it is, there is in memory a species of mental long- +sightedness, which, though blind to the object close beside you, can +reach the blue mountains and the starry skies, which lie full many a +league away. Is this a malady? or is it rather a providential gift to +alleviate the tedious hours of the sick bed, and cheer the lonely +sufferer, whose thoughts are his only realm? + +My school-boy days, in all their holiday excitement; the bank where I had +culled the earliest cowslips of the year; the clear but rapid stream, +where days long I have watched the speckled trout, as they swam +peacefully beneath, or shook their bright fins in the gay sunshine; the +gorgeous dragon-fly that played above the water, and dipped his bright +wings in its ripple--they were all before me. And then came the thought +of school itself, with its little world of boyish cares and emulations; +the early imbibed passion for success; the ardent longing for +superiority; the high and swelling feeling of the heart, as home drew +near, to think that I had gained the wished for prize--the object of many +an hour's toil--the thought of many a long night's dream; my father's +smile; my mother's kiss! Oh! what a very world of tender memory that one +thought suggests; for what are all our later successes in life--how +bright soever our fortune be--compared with the early triumphs of our +infancy? Where, among the jealous rivalry of some, the cold and half- +wrung praise of others, the selfish and unsympathising regard of all, +shall we find any thing to repay us for the swelling extacy of our young +hearts, as those who have cradled and loved us grow proud in our +successes? For myself, a life that has failed in every prestige of those +that prophesied favourably--years that have followed on each other only +to blight the promise that kind and well-wishing friends foretold--leave +but little to dwell upon, that can be reckoned as success. And yet, some +moments I have had, which half seemed to realize my early dream of +ambition, and rouse my spirit within me; but what were they all compared +to my boyish glories? what the passing excitement one's own heart +inspires in the lonely and selfish solitude, when compared with that +little world of sympathy and love our early home teemed with, as, proud +in some trifling distinction, we fell into a mother's arms, and heard our +father's "God bless you, boy?" No, no; the world has no requital for +this. It is like the bright day-spring, which, as its glories gild the +east, display before us a whole world of beauty and promise--blighted +hopes have not withered, false friendships have not scathed, cold, +selfish interest has not yet hardened our hearts, or dried up our +affections, and we are indeed happy; but equally like the burst of +morning is it fleeting and short-lived; and equally so, too, does it pass +away, never, never to return. + +From thoughts like these my mind wandered on to more advanced years, +when, emerging from very boyhood, I half believed myself a man, and was +fully convinced I was in love. + +Perhaps, after all, for the time it lasted--ten days, I think--it was the +most sincere passion I ever felt. I had been spending some weeks at a +small watering-place in Wales with some relatives of my mother. There +were, as might be supposed, but few "distractions" in such a place, save +the scenery, and an occasional day's fishing in the little river of +Dolgelly, which ran near. In all these little rambles which the younger +portion of the family made together, frequent mention was ever being made +of a visit from a very dear cousin, and to which all looked forward with +the greatest eagerness--the elder ones of the party with a certain air of +quiet pleasure, as though they knew more than they said, and the younger +with all the childish exuberance of youthful delight. Clara Mourtray +seemed to be, from all I was hourly hearing, the very paragon and pattern +of every thing. If any one was praised for beauty, Clara was immediately +pronounced much prettier--did any one sing, Clara's voice and taste were +far superior. In our homeward walk, should the shadows of the dark hills +fall with a picturesque effect upon the blue lake, some one was sure to +say, "Oh! how Clara would like to sketch that." In short, there was no +charm nor accomplishment ever the gift of woman, that Clara did not +possess; or, what amounted pretty much to the same thing, that my +relatives did not implicitly give her credit for. The constantly +recurring praises of the same person affect us always differently as we +go on in life. In youth the prevailing sentiment is an ardent desire to +see the prodigy of whom we have heard so much--in after years, heartily +to detest what hourly hurts our self-love by comparisons. We would take +any steps to avoid meeting what we have inwardly decreed to be a "bore." +The former was my course; and though my curiosity was certainly very +great, I had made up my mind to as great a disappointment, and half +wished for the longed arrival as a means of criticising what they could +see no fault in. + +The wished-for evening at length came, and we all set out upon a walk to +meet the carriage which was to bring the bien aime Clara among us. We +had not walked above a mile when the eager eye of the foremost detected a +cloud of dust upon the road at some distance; and, after a few minutes +more, four posters were seen coming along at a tremendous rate. The next +moment she was making the tour of about a dozen uncles, aunts, cousins, +and cousines, none of whom, it appeared to me, felt any peculiar desire +to surrender the hearty embrace to the next of kin in succession. At +last she came to me, when, perhaps, in the confusion of the moment, not +exactly remembering whether or not she had seen me before, she stood for +a moment silent--a deep blush mantling her lovely cheek--masses of waving +brown hair disordered and floating upon her shoulders--her large and +liquid blue eyes beaming upon me. One look was enough. I was deeply-- +irretrievably in love. + +"Our cousin Harry--Harry Lorrequer--wild Harry, as we used to call him, +Clara," said one of the girls introducing me. + +She held out her hand, and said something with a smile. What, I know +not--nor can I tell how I replied; but something absurd it must have +been, for they all laughed heartily, and the worthy papa himself tapped +my shoulder jestingly, adding, + +"Never mind, Harry--you will do better one day, or I am much mistaken in +you." + +Whether I was conscious that I had behaved foolishly or not, I cannot +well say; but the whole of that night I thought over plans innumerable +how I should succeed in putting myself forward before "Cousin Clara," and +vindicating myself against any imputation of schoolboy mannerisms that my +first appearance might have caused. + +The next day we remained at home. Clara was too much fatigued to walk +out, and none of us would leave her. What a day of happiness that was! +I knew something of music, and could sing a second. Clara was delighted +at this, for the others had not cultivated singing much. We therefore +spent the whole morning in this way. Then she produced her sketch-book, +and I brought out mine, and we had a mutual interchange of prisoners. +What cutting out of leaves and detaching of rice-paper landscapes! The +she came out upon the lawn to see my pony leap, and promised to ride him +the following day. She patted the greyhounds, and said Gipsy, which was +mine, was the prettiest. In a word, before night fell Clara had won my +heart in its every fibre, and I went to my room the very happiest of +mortals. + +I need not chronicle my next three days--to me the most glorious "trois +jours" of my life. Clara had evidently singled me out and preferred me +to all the rest. It was beside me she rode--upon my arm she leaned in +walking--and, to comble me with delight unutterable, I overheard her say +to my uncle, "Oh, I doat upon poor Harry! And it is so pleasant, for I'm +sure Mortimer will be so jealous." + +"And who is Mortimer," thought I; "he is a new character in the piece, of +whom we have seen nothing." + +I was not long in doubt upon this head, for that very day, at dinner, the +identical Mortimer presented himself. He was a fine, dashing-looking, +soldier-like fellow, of about thirty-five, and with a heavy moustache, +and a bronzed cheek--rather grave in his manner, but still perfectly +good-natured, and when he smiled showing a most handsome set of regular +teeth. Clara seemed less pleased (I thought) at his coming than the +others, and took pleasure in tormenting him by a thousand pettish and +frivolous ways, which I was sorry for, as I thought he did not like it; +and used to look half chidingly at her from time to time, but without any +effect, for she just went on as before, and generally ended by taking my +arm and saying, "Come away, Harry; you always are kind, and never look +sulky. I can agree with you." These were delightful words for me to +listen to, but I could not hear them without feeling for him, who +evidently was pained by Clara's avowed preference for me; and whose +years--for I thought thirty-five at that time a little verging upon the +patriarchal--entitled him to more respect. + +"Well," thought I, one evening, as this game had been carried rather +farther than usual, "I hope she is content now, for certainly Mortimer is +jealous;" and the result proved it, for the whole of the following day he +absented himself, and never came back till late in the evening. He had +been, I found, from a chance observation I overheard, at the bishop's +palace, and the bishop himself, I learned, was to breakfast with us in +the morning. + +"Harry, I have a commission for you," said Clara. "You must get up +very early to-morrow, and climb the Cader mountain, and bring me a grand +bouquet of the blue and purple heath that I liked so much the last time +I was there. Mind very early, for I intend to surprise the bishop +to-morrow with my taste in a nosegay." + +The sun had scarcely risen as I sprang from my bed, and started upon my +errand. Oh! the glorious beauty of that morning's walk. As I climbed +the mountain, the deep mists lay upon all around, and except the path I +was treading, nothing was visible; but before I reached the top, the +heavy masses of vapour were yielding to the influence of the sun; and as +they rolled from the valleys up the mountain sides, were every instant +opening new glens and ravines beneath me--bright in all their verdure, +and speckled with sheep, whose tingling bells reached me even where I +stood. + +I counted above twenty lakes at different levels, below me; some +brilliant, and shining like polished mirrors; others not less beautiful, +dark and solemn with some mighty mountain shadow. As I looked landward, +the mountains reared their huge crests, one above the other, to the +farthest any eye could reach. Towards the opposite side, the calm and +tranquil sea lay beneath me, bathed in the yellow gold of a rising sun; a +few ships were peaceably lying at anchor in the bay; and the only thing +in motion was a row-boat, the heavy monotonous stroke of whose oars rose +in the stillness of the morning air. Not a single habitation of man +could I descry, nor any vestige of a human being, except that mass of +something upon the rock far down beneath be one, and I think it is, for I +see the sheep-dog ever returning again and again to the same spot. + +My bouquet was gathered; the gentian of the Alps, which is found here, +also contributing its evidence to show where I had been to seek it, and I +turned home. + +The family were at breakfast as I entered; at least so the servants said, +for I only remembered then that the bishop was our guest, and that I +could not present myself without some slight attention to my dress. I +hastened to my room, and scarcely had I finished, when one of my cousins, +a little girl of eight years, came to the door and said, + +"Harry, come down; Clara wants you." + +I rushed down stairs, and as I entered the breakfast parlour, stood still +with surprise. The ladies were all dressed in white, and even my little +cousin wore a gala costume that amazed me. + +"My bouquet, Harry; I hope you have not forgotten it," said Clara, as I +approached. + +I presented it at once, when she gaily and coquettishly held out her hand +for me to kiss. This I did, my blood rushing to my face and temples the +while, and almost depriving me of consciousness. + +"Well, Clara, I am surprised at you," said Mortimer. "How can you treat +the poor boy so?" + +I grew deadly pale at these words, and, turning round, looked at the +speaker full in the face. Poor fellow, thought I, he is jealous, and I +am really grieved for him; and turned again to Clara. + +"Here it is--oh! how handsome, papa," said one of the younger children, +running eagerly to the window, as a very pretty open carriage with four +horses drew up before the house. + +"The bishop has taste," I murmured to myself, scarcely deigning to give a +second look at the equipage. + +Clara now left the room, but speedily returned--her dress changed, and +shawled as if for a walk. What could all this mean?--and the whispering, +too, what is all that?--and why are they all so sad?--Clara has been +weeping. + +"God bless you, my child--good by," said my aunt, as she folded her in +her arms for the third time. + +"Good by, good by," I heard on every side. At length, approaching me, +Clara took my hand and said-- + +"My poor Harry, so we are going to part. I am going to Italy." + +"To Italy, Clara? Oh! no--say no. Italy! I shall never see you again." + +"Won't you wear this ring for me, Harry? It is an old favourite of +yours--and when we meet again"-- + +"Oh! dearest Clara," I said, "do not speak thus." + +"Good by, my poor boy, good by," said Clara hurriedly; and, rushing +out of the room, she was lifted by Mortimer into the carriage, who, +immediately jumping in after her, the whip cracked, the horses clattered, +and all was out of sight in a second. + +"Why is she gone with him?" said I, reproachfully, turning towards my +aunt. + +"Why, my dear, a very sufficient reason. She was married this morning." + +This was my first love. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVI. + +WISE RESOLVES. + +Musing over this boyish adventure, I fell into a deep slumber, and on +awakening it took me some minutes before I could recall my senses +sufficiently to know where I was. The whole face of things in my room +was completely changed. Flowers had been put in the china vases upon the +tables--two handsome lamps, shaded with gauzes, stood upon the consoles-- +illustrated books, prints, and caricatures, were scattered about. A +piano-forte had also, by some witchcraft, insinuated itself into a recess +near the sofa--a handsome little tea service, of old Dresden china, +graced a marquetry table--and a little picquet table stood most +invitingly beside the fire. I had scarcely time to turn my eyes from one +to the other of these new occupants, when I heard the handle of my door +gently turn, as if by some cautious hand, and immediately closed my eyes +and feigned sleep. Through my half-shut lids I perceived the door +opened. After a pause of about a second, the skirt of a white muslin +dress appeared--then a pretty foot stole a little farther--and at last +the slight and graceful figure of Emily Bingham advanced noiselessly into +the room. Fear had rendered her deadly pale; but the effect of her rich +brown hair, braided plainly on either side of her cheek, suited so well +the character of her features, I thought her far handsomer than ever. +She came forward towards the table, and I now could perceive that she had +something in her hand resembling a letter. This she placed near my hand +--so near as almost to touch it. She leaned over me--I felt her breath +upon my brow, but never moved. At this instant, a tress of her hair, +becoming unfastened, fell over upon my face. She started--the motion +threw me off my guard, and I looked up. She gave a faint, scarce audible +shriek, and sank into the chair beside me. Recovering, however, upon the +instant, she grasped the letter she had just laid down, and, having +crushed it between her fingers, threw it into the fire. This done--as if +the effort had been too much for her strength--she again fell back upon +her seat, and looked so pale I almost thought she had fainted. + +Before I had time to speak, she rose once more; and now her face was +bathed in blushes, her eyes swam with rising tears, and her lips trembled +with emotion as she spoke. + +"Oh, Mr. Lorrequer, what will you--what can you think of this? If you +but knew--;" and here she faltered and again grew pale, while I with +difficulty rising from the sofa, took her hand, and led her to the chair +beside it. + +"And may I not know?" said I; "may I not know, my dear"--I am not sure +I did not say dearest--"Miss Bingham, when, perhaps, the knowledge might +make me the happiest of mortals?" + +This was a pretty plunge as a sequel to my late resolutions. She hid her +face between her hands, and sobbed for some seconds. + +"At least," said I, "as that letter was destined for me but a few moments +since, I trust that you will let me hear its contents." + +"Oh no--not now--not now," said she entreatingly; and, rising at the same +time, she turned to leave the room. I still held her hand, and pressed +it within mine. I thought she returned the pressure. I leaned forward +to catch her eye, when the door was opened hastily, and a most +extraordinary figure presented itself. + +It was a short, fat man, with a pair of enormous moustaches, of a fiery +red; huge bushy whiskers of the same colour; a blue frock covered with +braiding, and decorated with several crosses and ribbons; tight +pantaloons and Hessian boots, with long brass spurs. He held a large +gold-headed cane in his hand, and looked about with an expression of very +equivocal drollery, mingled with fear. + +"May I ask, sir," said I, as this individual closed the door behind him, +"may I ask the reason for this intrusion?" + +"Oh, upon my conscience, I'll do--I'm sure to pass muster now," said the +well-known voice of Mr. O'Leary, whose pleasant features began to dilate +amid the forest of red hair he was disguised in. "But I see you are +engaged," said he, with a sly look at Miss Bingham, whom he had not yet +recognised; "so I must contrive to hide myself elsewhere, I suppose." + +"It is Miss Bingham," said I, "who has been kind enough to come here +with her maid, to bring me some flowers. Pray present my respectful +compliments to Mrs. Bingham, and say how deeply I feel her most kind +attention." + +Emily rose at the instant, and recovering her self-possession at once, +said-- + +"You forget, Mr. Lorrequer, it is a secret from whom the flowers came; +at least mamma hoped to place them in your vases without you knowing. +So, pray, don't speak of it--and I'm sure Mr. O'Leary will not tell." + +If Mr. O'Leary heard one word of this artful speech, I know not, but he +certainly paid no attention to it, nor the speaker, who left the room +without his appearing aware of it. + +"Now that she is gone--for which heaven be praised," said I to myself; +"let me see what this fellow can mean." + +As I turned from the door, I could scarcely avoid laughing aloud at the +figure before me. He stood opposite a large mirror, his hat on one side +of his head, one arm in his breast, and the other extended, leaning upon +his stick; a look of as much ferocity as such features could accomplish +had been assumed, and his whole attitude was a kind of caricature of a +melo-dramatic hero in a German drama. + +"Why, O'Leary, what is all this?" + +"Hush, hush," said he, in a terrified whisper--"never mention that name +again, till we are over the frontier." + +"But, man, explain--what do you mean?" + +"Can't you guess," said he drily. + +"Impossible; unless the affair at the saloon has induced you to take this +disguise, I cannot conceive the reason." + +"Nothing farther from it, my dear friend; much worse than that." + +"Out with it, then, at once." + +"She's come--she's here--in this very house--No. 29, above the entre +sol." + +"Who is here, in No. 29, above the entre sol?" + +"Who, but Mrs. O'Leary herself. I was near saying bad luck to her." + +"And does she know you are here?" + +"That is what I can't exactly say," said he, "but she has had the Livre +des Voyageurs brought up to her room, and has been making rather +unpleasant inquiries for the proprietor of certain hieroglyphics +beginning with O, which have given me great alarm--the more, as all the +waiters have been sent for in turn, and subjected to long examination by +her. So I have lost no time, but, under the auspices of your friend +Trevanion, have become the fascinating figure you find me, and am now +Compte O'Lieuki, a Pole of noble family, banished by the Russian +government, with a father in Siberia, and all that; and I hope, by the +end of the week, to be able to cheat at ecarte, and deceive the very +police itself." + +The idea of O'Leary's assuming such a metamorphosis was too absurd not +to throw me into a hearty fit of laughing, in which the worthy emigre +indulged also. + +"But why not leave this at once," said I, "if you are so much in dread of +a recognition?" + +"You forget the trial," added O'Leary, "I must be here on the 18th or all +my bail is forfeited." + +"True--I had forgot that. Well, now, your plans?"-- + +"Simply to keep very quiet here till the affair of the tribunal is over, +and then quit France at once. Meanwhile, Trevanion thinks that we may, +by a bold stratagem, send Mrs. O'Leary off on a wrong scent, and has +requested Mrs. Bingham to contrive to make her acquaintance, and ask her +to tea in her room, when she will see me, en Polonais, at a distance, you +know--hear something of my melancholy destiny from Trevanion--and leave +the hotel quite sure she has no claim on me. Meanwhile, some others of +the party are to mention incidentally having met Mr. O'Leary somewhere, +or heard of his decease, or any pleasant little incident that may occur +to them." + +"The plan is excellent," said I, "for in all probability she may never +come in your way again, if sent off on a good errand this time." + +"That's what I'm thinking," said O'Leary; "and I am greatly disposed to +let her hear that I'm with Belzoni in Egypt, with an engagement to spend +the Christmas with the Dey of Algiers. That would give her a very pretty +tour for the remainder of the year, and show her the pyramids. But, tell +me fairly, am I a good Pole?" + +"Rather short," said I, "and a little too fat, perhaps." + +"That comes from the dash of Tartar blood, nothing more; and my mother +was a Fin," said he, "she'll never ask whether from Carlow or the +Caucasus. How I revel in the thought, that I may smoke in company +without a breach of the unities. But I must go: there is a gentleman +with a quinsey in No. 9, that gives me a lesson in Polish this morning. +So good-by, and don't forget to be well enough to-night, for you must be +present at my debut." + +O'Leary had scarcely gone, when my thoughts reverted to Emily Bingham. +I was not such a coxcomb as to fancy her in love with me; yet certainly +there was something in the affair which looked not unlike it; and though, +by such a circumstance, every embarrassment which pressed upon me had +become infinitely greater, I could not dissemble from myself a sense of +pleasure at the thought. She was really a very pretty girl, and improved +vastly upon acquaintance. "Le absens ont toujours torts" is the truest +proverb in any language, and I felt it in its fullest force when +Trevanion entered my room. + +"Well, Lorrequer," said he, "your time is certainly not likely to hang +heavily on your hands in Paris, if occupation will prevent it, for I find +you are just now booked for a new scrape." + +"What can you mean?" said I, starting up. + +"Why, O'Leary, who has been since your illness, the constant visiter at +the Binghams--dining there every day, and spending his evenings--has just +told me that the mamma is only waiting for the arrival of Sir Guy +Lorrequer in Paris to open the trenches in all form; and from what she +has heard of Sir Guy, she deems it most likely he will give her every aid +and support to making you the husband of the fair Emily." + +"And with good reason, too," said I; "for if my uncle were only given to +understand that I had once gone far in my attentions, nothing would +induce him to break off the match. He was crossed in love himself when +young, and has made a score of people miserable since, in the benevolent +idea of marrying them against every obstacle." + +"How very smart you have become," said Trevanion, taking a look round my +room, and surveying in turn each of the new occupants. "You must +certainly reckon upon seeing your fair friend here, or all this propriete +is sadly wasted." + +This was the time to explain all about Miss Bingham's visit; and I did +so, of course omitting any details which might seem to me needless, or +involving myself in inconsistency. + +Trevanion listened patiently to the end--was silent for some moments-- +then added-- + +"And you never saw the letter?" + +"Of course not. It was burned before my eyes." + +"I think the affair looks very serious, Lorrequer. You may have won this +girl's affections. It matters little whether the mamma be a hacknied +match-maker, or the cousin a bullying duellist. If the girl have a +heart, and that you have gained it"-- + +"Then I must marry, you would say." + +"Exactly so--without the prompting of your worthy uncle, I see no +other course open to you without dishonour. My advice, therefore, is, +ascertain--and that speedily--how far your attentions have been attended +with the success you dread--and then decide at once. Are you able to get +as far as Mrs. Bingham's room this morning? If so, come along. I shall +take all the frais of la chere mamma off your hands, while you talk to +the daughter; and half-an-hour's courage and resolution will do it all." + +Having made the most effective toilet my means would permit, my right arm +in a sling, and my step trembling from weakness, I sallied forth with +Trevanion to make love with as many fears for the result as the most +bashful admirer ever experienced, when pressing his suit upon some +haughty belle--but for a far different reason. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVII. + +THE PROPOSAL. + +On reaching Mrs. Bingham's apartments, we found that she had just left +home to wait upon Mrs. O'Leary, and consequently, that Miss Bingham was +alone. Trevanion, therefore, having wished me a safe deliverance through +my trying mission, shook my hand warmly, and departed. + +I stood for some minutes irresolutely, with my hand upon the lock of the +door. To think that the next few moments may decide the fortune of one's +after life, is a sufficiently anxious thought; but that your fate may be +so decided, by compelling you to finish in sorrow what you have begun in +folly, is still more insupportable. Such, then, was my condition. I had +resolved within myself, if the result of this meeting should prove that I +had won Miss Bingham's affections, to propose for her at once in all +form, and make her my wife. If, on the other hand, I only found that she +too had amused herself with a little passing flirtation, why then, I was +a free man once more: but, on catechising myself a little closer, also, +one somewhat disposed to make love de novo. + +With the speed of lightning, my mind ran over every passage of our +acquaintance--our first meeting--our solitary walks--our daily, hourly +associations--our travelling intimacy--the adventure at Chantraine;-- +There was, it is true, nothing in all this which could establish the fact +of wooing, but every thing which should convince an old offender like +myself that the young lady was "en prise," and that I myself--despite my +really strong attachment elsewhere--was not entirely scathless. + +"Yes," said I, half aloud, as I once more reviewed the past, "it is but +another chapter in my history in keeping with all the rest--one step has +ever led me to a second, and so on to a third; what with other men have +passed for mere trifles, have ever with me become serious difficulties, +and the false enthusiasm with which I ever follow any object in life, +blinds me for the time, and mistaking zeal for inclination, I never feel +how little my heart is interested in success, till the fever of pursuit +is over." + +These were pleasant thoughts for one about to throw himself at a pretty +girl's feet, and pour out his "soul of love before her;" but that with me +was the least part of it. Curran, they say, usually picked up his facts +in a case from the opposite counsel's statements; I always relied for my +conduct in carrying on any thing, to the chance circumstances of the +moment, and trusted to my animal spirits to give me an interest in +whatever for the time being engaged me. + +I opened the door. Miss Bingham was sitting at a table, her head leaning +upon her hands--some open letters which lay before her, evidently so +occupying her attention, that my approach was unheard. On my addressing +her, she turned round suddenly, and became at first deep scarlet, then +pale as death: while, turning to the table, she hurriedly threw her +letters into a drawer, and motioned me to a place beside her. + +After the first brief and common-place inquiry for my health, and hopes +for my speedy recovery, she became silent; and I too, primed with topics +innumerable to discuss--knowing how short my time might prove before Mrs. +Bingham's return--could not say a word. + +"I hope, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "that you have incurred no +risque by leaving your room so early." + +"I have not," I replied, "but, even were there a certainty of it, the +anxiety I laboured under to see and speak with you alone, would have +overcome all fears on this account. Since this unfortunate business +has confined me to my chamber, I have done nothing but think over +circumstances which have at length so entirely taken possession of me, +that I must, at any sacrifice, have sought an opportunity to explain to +you"--here Emily looked down, and I continued--"I need scarcely say what +my feelings must long since have betrayed, that to have enjoyed the daily +happiness of living in your society, of estimating your worth, of feeling +your fascinations, were not the means most in request for him, who knew, +too well, how little he deserved, either by fortune or desert, to hope, +to hope to make you his; and yet, how little has prudence or caution to +do with situations like this." She did not guess the animus of this +speech. "I felt all I have described; and yet, and yet, I lingered on, +prizing too dearly the happiness of the present hour, to risque it by any +avowal of sentiments, which might have banished me from your presence for +ever. If the alteration of these hopes and fears have proved too strong +for my reason at last, I cannot help it; and this it is which now leads +me to make this avowal to you." Emily turned her head away from me; but +her agitated manner showed how deeply my words had affected her; and I +too, now that I had finished, felt that I had been "coming it rather +strong." + +"I hoped, Mr. Lorrequer," said she, at length, "I hoped, I confess, to +have had an opportunity of speaking with you." Then, thought I, the game +is over, and Bishop Luscombe is richer by five pounds, than I wish him.-- +"Something, I know not what, in your manner, led me to suspect that your +affections might lean towards me; hints you have dropped, and, now and +then, your chance allusions strengthened the belief, and I determined, at +length, that no feeling of maidenly shame on my part should endanger the +happiness of either of us, and I determined to see you; this was so +difficult, that I wrote a letter, and that letter, which might have saved +me all distressing explanation, I burned before you this morning." + +"But, why, dearest girl,"--here was a plunge--"why, if the letter could +remove any misconstruction, or could be the means of dispelling any +doubt--why not let me see it?" + +"Hear me out," cried she, eagerly, and evidently not heeding my +interruption, "I determined if your affections were indeed"--a flood of +tears here broke forth, and drowned her words; her head sank between her +hands, and she sobbed bitterly. + +"Corpo di Baccho!" said I to myself, "It is all over with me; the poor +girl is evidently jealous, and her heart will break." + +"Dearest, dearest Emily," said I, passing my arm round her, and +approaching my head close to her's, "if you think that any other love +than yours could ever beat within this heart--that I could see you hourly +before me--live beneath your smile, and gaze upon your beauty--and, still +more than all--pardon the boldness of the thought--feel that I was not +indifferent to you."-- + +"Oh! spare me this at least," said she, turning round her tearful eyes +upon me, and looking most bewitchingly beautiful. "Have I then showed +you this plainly?" + +"Yes, dearest girl! That instinct which tells us we are loved has spoken +within me. And here in this beating heart"-- + +"Oh! say not more," said she, "if I have, indeed, gained your +affections"-- + +"If--if you have," said I, clasping her to my heart, while she continued +to sob still violently, and I felt half disposed to blow my brains out +for my success. However, there is something in love-making as in fox- +hunting, which carries you along in spite of yourself; and I continued to +pour forth whole rhapsodies of love that the Pastor Fido could not equal. + +"Enough," said she, "it is enough that you love me and that I have +encouraged your so doing. But oh! tell me once more, and think how much +of future happiness may rest upon your answer--tell me, may not this be +some passing attachment, which circumstances have created, and others may +dispel? Say, might not absence, time, or another more worthy"-- + +This was certainly a very rigid cross-examination when I thought the +trial was over; and not being exactly prepared for it, I felt no other +mode of reply than pressing her taper fingers alternately to my lips, and +muttering something that might pass for a declaration of love +unalterable, but, to my own ears, resembled a lament on my folly. + +"She is mine now," thought I, "so we must e'en make the best of it; and +truly she is a very handsome girl, though not a Lady Jane Callonby. The +next step is the mamma; but I do not anticipate much difficulty in that +quarter." + +"Leave me now," said she, in a low and broken voice; "but promise not to +speak of this meeting to any one before we meet again. I have my +reasons; believe me they are sufficient ones, so promise me this before +we part." + +Having readily given the pledge required, I again kissed her hand and +bade farewell, not a little puzzled the whole time at perceiving that +ever since my declaration and acceptance Emily seemed any thing but +happy, and evidently struggling against some secret feeling of which I +knew nothing. "Yes," thought I, as I wended my way along the corridor, +"the poor girl is tremendously jealous, and I must have said may a thing +during our intimacy to hurt her. However, that is all past and gone; and +now comes a new character for me: my next appearance wil be 'en bon +mari.'" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXVIII. + +THOUGHTS UPON MATRIMONY IN GENERAL, AND IN THE ARMY IN PARTICULAR--THE +KNIGHT OF KERRY AND BILLY M'CABE. + +"So," thought I, as I closed the door of my room behind me, "I am +accepted--the die is cast which makes me a Benedict: yet heaven knows +that never was a man less disposed to be over joyous at his good +fortune!" What a happy invention it were, if when adopting any road in +life, we could only manage to forget that we had ever contemplated any +other! It is the eternal looking back in this world that forms the +staple of all our misery; and we are but ill-requited for such +unhappiness by the brightest anticipations we can conjure up for the +future. How much of all that "past" was now to become a source of +painful recollection, and to how little of the future could I look +forward with even hope! + +Our weaknesses are much more constantly the spring of all our annoyances +and troubles than even our vices. The one we have in some sort of +subjection: we are perfectly slaves to the others. This thought came +home most forcibly to my bosom, as I reflected upon the step which led me +on imperceptibly to my present embarrassment. "Well, c'est fini, now," +said I, drawing upon that bountiful source of consolation ever open to +the man who mars his fortune--that "what is past can't be amended;" which +piece of philosophy, as well as its twin brother, that "all will be the +same a hundred years hence," have been golden rules to me from my +childhood. + +The transition from one mode of life to another perfectly different has +ever seemed to me a great trial of a man's moral courage; besides that +the fact of quitting for ever any thing, no matter how insignificant or +valueless, is always attended with painful misgivings. My bachelor life +had its share of annoyances and disappointments, it is true; but, upon +the whole it was a most happy one--and now I was about to surrender it +for ever, not yielding to the impulse of affection and love for one +without whom life were valueless to me, but merely a recompense for the +indulgence of that fatal habit I had contracted of pursuing with +eagerness every shadow that crossed my path. All my early friends-- +all my vagrant fancies--all my daydreams of the future I was now to +surrender--for, what becomes of any man's bachelor friends when he is +once married? Where are his rambles in high and bye-ways when he has a +wife? and what is left for anticipation after his wedding except, +perhaps, to speculate upon the arrangement of his funeral? To a military +man more than to any other these are serious thoughts. All the +fascinations of an army life, in war or peace, lie in the daily, hourly +associations with your brother officers--the morning cigar, the barrack- +square lounge--the afternoon ride--the game of billiards before dinner-- +the mess (that perfection of dinner society)--the plans for the evening-- +the deviled kidney at twelve--forming so many points of departure whence +you sail out upon your daily voyage through life. Versus those you have +that awful perversion of all that is natural--an officer's wife. She has +been a beauty when young, had black eyes and high complexion, a good +figure, rather inclined to embonpoint, and a certain springiness in her +walk, and a jauntiness in her air, that are ever sure attractions to a +sub in a marching regiment. She can play backgammon, and sing "di tanti +palpiti," and, if an Irishwoman, is certain to be able to ride a steeple- +chase, and has an uncle a lord, who (en parenthese) always turns out to +be a creation made by King James after his abdication. In conclusion, +she breakfasts en papillote--wears her shoes down at heel--calls every +officer of the regiment by his name--has a great taste for increasing his +majesty's lieges, and delights in London porter. To this genus of Frow I +have never ceased to entertain the most thrilling abhorrence; and yet how +often have I seen what appeared to be pretty and interesting girls fall +into something of this sort! and how often have I vowed any fate to +myself rather than become the husband of a baggage-waggon wife! + +Had all my most sanguine hopes promised realizing--had my suit with Lady +Jane been favourable, I could scarcely have bid adieu to my bachelor life +without a sigh. No prospect of future happiness can ever perfectly +exclude all regret at quitting our present state for ever. I am sure if +I had been a caterpillar, it would have been with a heavy heart that I +would have donned my wings as a butterfly. Now the metamorphosis was +reversed: need it be wondered if I were sad? + +So completely was I absorbed in my thoughts upon this matter, that I had +not perceived the entrance of O'Leary and Trevanion, who, unaware of my +being in the apartment, as I was stretched upon a sofa in a dark corner, +drew their chairs towards the fire and began chatting. + +"Do you know, Mr. Trevanion," said O'Leary, "I am half afraid of this +disguise of mine. I sometimes think I am not like a Pole; and if she +should discover me"-- + +"No fear of that in the world; your costume is perfect, your beard +unexceptionable. I could, perhaps, have desired a little less paunch; +but then"-- + +"That comes of fretting, as Falstaff says; and you must not forget that +I am banished from my country." + +"Now, as to your conversation, I should advise you saying very little-- +not one word in English. You may, if you like, call in the assistance of +Irish when hard pressed? + +"I have my fears on that score. There is no knowing where that might +lead to discovery. You know the story of the Knight of Kerry and Billy +McCabe?" + +"I fear I must confess my ignorance--I have never heard of it." + +"Then may be you never knew Giles Daxon?" + +"I have not had that pleasure either." + +"Lord bless me, how strange that is! I thought he was better known than +the Duke of Wellington or the travelling piper. Well, I must tell you +the story, for it has a moral, too--indeed several morals; but you'll +find that out for yourself. Well, it seems that one day the Knight of +Kerry was walking along the Strand in London, killing an hour's time, +till the house was done prayers, and Hume tired of hearing himself +speaking; his eye was caught by an enormous picture displayed upon the +wall of a house, representing a human figure covered with long dark hair, +with huge nails upon his hands, and a most fearful expression of face. +At first the Knight thought it was Dr. Bowring; but on coming nearer he +heard a man with a scarlet livery and a cocked hat, call out, 'Walk in, +ladies and gentlemen--the most vonderful curiosity ever exhibited--only +one shilling--the vild man from Chippoowango, in Africay--eats raw +wittles without being cooked, and many other surprising and pleasing +performances.' + +"The knight paid his money, and was admitted. At first the crowd +prevented his seeing any thing--for the place was full to suffocation, +and the noise awful--for, besides the exclamations and applause of the +audience, there were three barrel-organs, playing 'Home, sweet Home!' and +'Cherry Ripe,' and the wild man himself contributed his share to the +uproar. At last, the Knight obtained, by dint of squeezing, and some +pushing a place in the front, when, to his very great horror, he beheld a +figure that far eclipsed the portrait without doors. + +"It was a man nearly naked, covered with long, shaggy hair, that grew +even over his nose and cheek bones. He sprang about, sometimes on his +feet, sometimes, all-fours, but always uttering the most fearful yells, +and glaring upon the crowd, in a manner that was really dangerous. The +Knight did not feel exactly happy at the whole proceeding, and began +heartily to wish himself back in the 'House,' even upon a committee of +privileges, when, suddenly, the savage gave a more frantic scream than +before, and seized upon a morsel of raw beef, which a keeper extended to +him upon a long fork, like a tandem whip--he was not safe, it appears, at +close quarters;--this he tore to pieces eagerly and devoured in the most +voracious manner, amid great clapping of hands, and other evidences of +satisfaction from the audience. I'll go, now, thought the Knight: for, +God knows whether, in his hungry moods, he might not fancy to conclude +his dinner by a member of parliament. Just at this instant, some sounds +struck upon his ear that surprised him not a little. He listened more +attentively; and, conceive if you can, his amazement, to find that, amid +his most fearful cries, and wild yells, the savage was talking Irish. +Laugh, if you like; but it's truth I am telling you; nothing less than +Irish. There he was, jumping four feet high in the air, eating his raw +meat: pulling out his hair by handfuls; and, amid all this, cursing the +whole company to his heart's content, in as good Irish as ever was heard +in Tralee. Now, though the Knight had heard of red Jews and white +Negroes, he had never happened to read any account of an African +Irishman; so, he listened very closely, and by degrees, not only the +words were known to him, but the very voice was familiar. At length, +something he heard, left no further doubt upon his mind, and, turning to +the savage, he addressed him in Irish, at the same time fixing a look of +most scrutinizing import upon him. + +"'Who are you, you scoundrel' said the Knight. + +"'Billy M'Cabe your honour.' + +"'And what do you mean by playing off these tricks here, instead of +earning your bread like an honest man?' + +"'Whisht,' said Billy, 'and keep the secret. I'm earning the rent for +your honour. One must do many a queer thing that pays two pound ten an +acre for bad land.' + +"This was enough: the Knight wished Billy every success, and left him +amid the vociferous applause of a well satisfied audience. This +adventure, it seems, has made the worthy Knight a great friend to the +introduction of poor laws; for, he remarks very truly, 'more of Billy's +countrymen might take a fancy to a savage life, if the secret was found +out.'" + +It was impossible for me to preserve my incognito, as Mr. O'Leary +concluded his story, and I was obliged to join in the mirth of Trevanion, +who laughed loud and long as he finished it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIX. + +A REMINISCENCE. + +O'Leary and Trevanion had scarcely left the room when the waiter entered +with two letters--the one bore a German post-mark, and was in the well- +known hand of Lady Callonby--the other in a writing with which I was no +less familiar--that of Emily Bingham. + +Let any one who has been patient enough to follow me through these +"Confessions," conceive my agitation at this moment. There lay my fate +before me, coupled, in all likelihood, with a view of what it might have +been under happier auspices--at least so in anticipation did I read the +two unopened epistles. My late interview with Miss Bingham left no doubt +upon my mind that I had secured her affections; and acting in accordance +with the counsel of Trevanion, no less than of my own sense of right, I +resolved upon marrying her, with what prospect of happiness I dared not +to think of! + +Alas! and alas! there is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation-- +mere empty, valueless, heartless flirtation. You hide the dice-box and +the billiard queue, lest your son become a gambler--you put aside the +racing calendar, lest he imbibe a jockey predilection--but you never +tremble at his fondness for white muslin and a satin slipper, far more +dangerous tastes though they be, and infinitely more perilous to a man's +peace and prosperity than all the "queens of trumps" that ever figured, +whether on pasteboard or the Doncaster. "Woman's my weakness, yer +honor," said an honest Patlander, on being charged before the lord mayor +with having four wives living; and without having any such "Algerine act" +upon my conscience, I must, I fear, enter a somewhat similar plea for my +downfallings, and avow in humble gratitude, that I have scarcely had a +misfortune through life unattributable to them in one way or another. +And this I say without any reference to country, class, or complexion, +"black, brown or fair," from my first step forth into life, a raw sub. in +the gallant 4_th, to this same hour, I have no other avowal, no other +confession to make. "Be always ready with the pistol," was the dying +advice of an Irish statesman to his sons: mine, in a similar +circumstance, would rather be "Gardez vous des femmes," and more +especially if they be Irish. + +There is something almost treacherous in the facility with which an +Irish girl receives your early attentions and appears to like them, +that invariably turns a young fellow's head very long before he has any +prospect of touching her heart. She thinks it so natural to be made love +to, that there is neither any affected coyness nor any agitated surprise. +She listens to your declaration of love as quietly as the chief justice +would to one of law, and refers the decision to a packed jury of her +relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy. Love and fighting, too, +are so intimately united in Ireland, that a courtship rarely progresses +without at least one exchange of shots between some of the parties +concerned. My first twenty-four hours in Dublin is so pleasantly +characteristic of this that I may as well relate it here, while the +subject is before us; besides, as these "Confessions" are intended as +warnings and guides to youth, I may convey a useful lesson, showing why +a man should not "make love in the dark." + +It was upon a raw, cold, drizzling morning in February, 18__, that our +regiment landed on the North-wall from Liverpool, whence we had been +hurriedly ordered to repress some riots and disturbances then agitating +Dublin. + +We marched to the Royal Barracks, our band playing Patrick's Day, to the +very considerable admiration of as naked a population as ever loved +music. The __th dragoons were at the same time quartered there--right +pleasant jovial fellows, who soon gave us to understand that the troubles +were over before we arrived, and that the great city authorities were now +returning thanks for their preservation from fire and sword, by a series +of entertainments of the most costly, but somewhat incongruous kind--the +company being scarce less melee than the dishes. Peers and playactors, +judges and jailors, archbishops, tailors, attorneys, ropemakers and +apothecaries, all uniting in the festive delight of good feeding, and +drinking the "glorious memory"--but of whom half the company knew not, +only surmising "it was something agin the papists." You may smile, but +these were pleasant times, and I scarcely care to go back there since +they were changed. But to return. The __th had just received an +invitation to a ball, to be given by the high sheriff, and to which they +most considerately said we should also be invited. This negociation was +so well managed that before noon we all received our cards from a green +liveried youth, mounted on a very emaciated pony--the whole turn-out not +auguring flatteringly of the high sheriff's taste in equipage. + +We dined with the __th, and, as customary before going to an evening +party, took the "other bottle" of claret that lies beyond the frontier of +prudence. In fact, from the lieutenant-colonel down to the newly-joined +ensign, there was not a face in the party that did not betray "signs of +the times" that boded most favourably for the mirth of the sheriff's +ball. We were so perfectly up to the mark, that our major, a Connemara +man, said, as we left the mess-room, "a liqueure glass would spoil us." + +In this acme of our intellectual wealth, we started about eleven o'clock +upon every species of conveyance that chance could press into the +service. Of hackney coaches there were few--but in jingles, noddies, and +jaunting-cars, with three on a side and "one in the well," we mustered +strong--Down Barrack-street we galloped, the mob cheering us, we +laughing, and I'm afraid shouting a little, too--the watchmen springing +their rattles, as if instinctively at noise, and the whole population up +and awake, evidently entertaining a high opinion of our convivial +qualities. Our voices became gradually more decorous, however, as we +approached the more civilized quarter of the town; and with only the +slight stoppage of the procession to pick up an occasional dropper-off, +as he lapsed from the seat of a jaunting-car, we arrived at length at our +host's residence, somewhere in Sackville-street. + +Had our advent conferred the order of knighthood upon the host, he could +not have received us with more "empressement." He shook us all in turn +by the hand, to the number of eight and thirty, and then presented us +seriatim to his spouse, a very bejewelled lady of some forty years--who, +what between bugles, feathers, and her turban, looked excessively like a +Chinese pagoda upon a saucer. The rooms were crowded to suffocation--the +noise awful--and the company crushing and elbowing rather a little more +than you expect where the moiety are of the softer sex. However, "on +s'habitue a tout," sayeth the proverb, and with truth, for we all so +perfectly fell in with the habits of the place, that ere half an hour, +we squeezed, ogled, leered, and drank champagne like the rest of the +corporation. + +"Devilish hot work, this," said the colonel, as he passed me with two +rosy-cheeked, smiling ladies on either arm; "the mayor--that little +fellow in the punch-coloured shorts--has very nearly put me hors de +combat with champagne; take care of him, I advise you." + +Tipsy as I felt myself, I was yet sufficiently clear to be fully alive +to the drollery of the scene before me. Flirtations that, under other +circumstances, would demand the secrecy and solitude of a country green +lane, or some garden bower, were here conducted in all the open +effrontery of wax lights and lustres; looks were interchanged, hands +were squeezed, and soft things whispered, and smiles returned; till +the intoxication of "punch negus" and spiced port, gave way to the far +greater one of bright looks and tender glances. Quadrilles and country +dances--waltzing there was none, (perhaps all for the best)--whist, +backgammon, loo--unlimited for uproar--sandwiches, and warm liquors, +employed us pretty briskly till supper was announced, when a grand +squeeze took place on the stairs--the population tending thitherward with +an eagerness that a previous starvation of twenty-four hours could alone +justify. Among this dense mass of moving muslin, velvet and broad-cloth, +I found myself chaperoning an extremely tempting little damsel, with a +pair of laughing blue eyes and dark eyelashes, who had been committed to +my care and guidance for the passage. + +"Miss Moriarty, Mr. Lorrequer," said an old lady in green and spangles, +who I afterwards found was the lady mayoress. + +"The nicest girl in the room," said a gentleman with a Tipperary accent, +"and has a mighty nice place near Athlone." + +The hint was not lost upon me, and I speedily began to faire l'amiable to +my charge; and before we reached the supper room, learned certain +particulars of her history, which I have not yet forgot. She was, it +seems, sister to a lady then in the room, the wife of an attorney, who +rejoiced in the pleasing and classical appellation of Mr. Mark Anthony +Fitzpatrick; the aforesaid Mark Anthony being a tall, raw-boned, black- +whiskered, ill-looking dog, that from time to time contrived to throw +very uncomfortable looking glances at me and Mary Anne, for she was so +named, the whole time of supper. After a few minutes, however, I totally +forgot him, and, indeed, every thing else, in the fascination of my fair +companion. She shared her chair with me, upon which I supported her by +my arm passed round the back; we eat our pickled salmon, jelly, blanc +mange, cold chicken, ham, and custard; off the same plate, with an +occasional squeeze of the finger, as our hands met--her eyes making sad +havoc with me all the while, as I poured my tale of love--love, lasting, +burning, all-consuming--into her not unwilling ear. + +"Ah! now, ye'r not in earnest?" + +"Yes, Mary Anne, by all that's"-- + +"Well, there now, don't swear, and take care--sure Mark Anthony is +looking." + +"Mark Anthony be--" + +"Oh! how passionate you are; I'm sure I never could live easy with you. +There, now, give me some sponge cake, and don't be squeezing me, or +they'll see you." + +"Yes, to my heart, dearest girl." + +"Och, it's cheese you're giving me," said she, with a grimace that nearly +cured my passion. + +"A cottage, a hut, with you--with you," said I, in a cadence that I defy +Macready to rival--"what is worldly splendour, or the empty glitter of +rank." + +I here glanced at my epaulettes, upon which I saw her eyes rivetted. + +"Isn't the ginger beer beautiful," said she, emptying a glass of +champagne. + +Still I was not to be roused from my trance, and continued my courtship +as warmly as ever. + +"I suppose you'll come home now," said a gruff voice behind Mary Anne. + +I turned and perceived Mark Anthony with a grim look of peculiar import. + +"Oh, Mark dear, I'm engaged to dance another set with this gentleman." + +"Ye are, are ye?" replied Mark, eyeing me askance. "Troth and I think +the gentleman would be better if he went off to his flea-bag himself." + +In my then mystified intellect this west country synonyme for a bed a +little puzzled me. + +"Yes sir, the lady is engaged to me: have you any thing to say to that?" + +"Nothing at present, at all," said Mark, almost timidly. + +"Oh dear, oh dear," sobbed Mary Anne; "they're going to fight, and he'll +be killed--I know he will." + +For which of us this fate was destined, I stopped not to consider, but +amid a very sufficient patting upon the back, and thumping between the +shoulders, bestowed by members of the company who approved of my +proceedings. The three fiddles, the flute, and bassoon, that formed our +band, being by this time sufficiently drunk, played after a fashion of +their own, which by one of those strange sympathies of our nature, +imparted its influence to our legs, and a country dance was performed in +a style of free and easy gesticulation that defies description. At the +end of eighteen couple, tired of my exertions--and they were not slight-- +I leaned my back against the wall of the room, which I now, for the first +time, perceived was covered with a very peculiar and novel species of +hanging--no less than a kind of rough, green baize cloth, that moved and +floated at every motion of the air. I paid little attention to this, +till suddenly turning my head, something gave way behind it. I felt +myself struck upon the back of the neck, and fell forward into the room, +covered by a perfect avalanche of fenders, fire-irons, frying-pans, and +copper kettles, mingled with the lesser artillery of small nails, door +keys, and holdfasts. There I lay amid the most vociferous mirth I ever +listened to, under the confounded torrent of ironmongery that half- +stunned me. The laughter over, I was assisted to rise, and having drank +about a pint of vinegar, and had my face and temples washed in strong +whiskey punch--the allocation of the fluids being mistaken, I learned +that our host, the high sheriff, was a celebrated tin and iron man, and +that his salles de reception were no other than his magazine of metals, +and that to conceal the well filled shelves from the gaze of his +aristocratic guests, they were clothed in the manner related; which my +unhappy head, by some misfortune, displaced, and thus brought on a +calamity scarcely less afflicting to him than to myself. I should +scarcely have stopped to mention this here, were it not that Mary +Anne's gentle nursing of me in my misery went far to complete what her +fascination had begun; and although she could not help laughing at the +occurrence, I forgave her readily for her kindness. + +"Remember," said I, trying to ogle through a black eye, painted by the +angle of a register grate--"remember, Mary Anne, I am to see you home." + +"Oh! dear, sir, sure I don't know how you can manage it--" + +Here Mark Anthony's entrance cut short this speech, for he came to +declare that some of the officers had taken his coach, and was, as might +be supposed, in a towering passion. + +"If, sir," said I, with an air of the most balmy courtesy--"If I can be +of any use in assisting you to see your friends home--" + +"Ah! then, ye'r a nice looking article to see ladies home. I wish you +seen yourself this minute," said he. + +As I felt it would be no breach of the unities--time, place, and every +thing considered--to smash his skull, I should certainly have proceeded +to do so, had not a look of the most imploring kind from Mary Anne +restrained me. By this time, he had taken her under the arm, and was +leading her away. I stood irresolute, till a glance from my charmer +caught me; when I rallied at once, and followed them down stairs. Here +the scene was the full as amusing as above; the cloaking, shawling, +shoeing, &c., of the ladies being certainly as mirth-moving a process +as I should wish to see. Here were mothers trying to collect their +daughters, as a hen her chickens, and as in that case, the pursuit of one +usually lost all the others; testy papas swearing, lovers leering, as +they twisted the boas round the fair throats of their sweethearts; vows +of love, mingling with lamentations for a lost slipper, or a stray +mantle. Sometimes the candles were extinguished, and the melee became +greater, till the order and light were restored together. Meanwhile, +each of our fellows had secured his fair one, save myself, and I was +exposed to no small ridicule for my want of savoir faire. Nettled at +this, I made a plunge to the corner of the room, where Mary Anne was +shawling; I recognized her pink sash, threw her cloak over her shoulders, +and at the very moment that Mark Anthony drew his wife's arm within his, +I performed the same by my friend, and followed them to the door. Here, +the grim brother-in-law turned round to take Mary Anne's arm, and seeing +her with me, merely gave a kind of hoarse chuckle, and muttered, "Very +well, sir: upon my conscience you will have it, I see." During this +brief interval, so occupied was I in watching him, that I never once +looked in my fair friend's face; but the gentle squeeze of her arm, as +she leaned upon me, assured me that I had her approval of what I was +doing. + +What were the precise train of my thoughts, and what the subjects of +conversation between us, I am unfortunately now unable to recollect. +It is sufficient to remember, that I could not believe five minutes had +elapsed, when we arrived at York-street. "Then you confess you love me," +said I, as I squeezed her arm to my side. + +"Then, by this kiss," said I, "I swear, never to relinquish."-- + +What I was about to add, I am sure I know not; but true it is, that a +certain smacking noise here attracted Mr. Mark Anthony's attention, who +started round, looked as full in the face, and then gravely added, +"Enough is as good as a feast. I wish you pleasant drames, Mr. Larry +Kar, if that's your name; and you'll hear from me in the morning." + +"I intend it," said I. "Good night, dearest; think of--" The slam of +the street door in my face spoiled the peroration, and I turned towards +home. + +By the time I reached the barracks, the united effects of the champagne, +sherry, and Sheffield iron, had, in a good measure subsided, and my head +had become sufficiently clear to permit a slight retrospect of the +evening's amusement. + +From two illusions I was at least awakened:--First, the high sheriff's +ball was not the most accurate representation of high society; secondly, +I was not deeply enamoured of Mary Anne Moriarty. Strange as it may +seem, and how little soever the apparent connexion between those two +facts, the truth of one had a considerable influence in deciding the +other. N'importe, said I, the thing is over; it was rather good fun, +too, upon the whole--saving the "chute des casseroles;" and as to the +lady, she must have seen it was a joke as well as myself. At least, so I +am decided it shall be; and as there was no witness to our conversation, +the thing is easily got out of. + +The following day, as I was dressing to ride out, my servant announced no +less a person than Mr. Mark Anthony Fitzpatrick, who said "that he came +upon a little business, and must see me immediately." + +Mr. Fitzpatrick, upon being announced, speedily opened his negociation by +asking in very terse and unequivocal phrase, my intentions regarding his +sister-in-law. After professing the most perfect astonishment at the +question, and its possible import, I replied, that she was a most +charming person, with whom I intended to have nothing whatever to do. + +"And maybe you never proposed for her at the ball last night?" + +"Propose for a lady at a ball the first time I ever met her!" + +"Just so. Can you carry your memory so far back? or, perhaps I had +better refresh it;" and he here repeated the whole substance of my +conversation on the way homeward, sometimes in the very words I used. + +"But, my dear sir, the young lady could never have supposed I used such +language as this you have repeated?" + +"So, then, you intend to break off? Well, then, it's right to tell you +that you're in a very ugly scrape, for it was my wife you took home last +night--not Miss Moriarty; and I leave you to choose at your leisure +whether you'd rather be defendant in a suit for breach of promise or +seduction; and, upon my conscience, I think it's civil in me to give you +a choice." + +What a pretty disclosure was here! So that while I was imaging myself +squeezing the hand and winning the heart of the fair Mary Anne, I was +merely making a case of strong evidence for a jury, that might expose me +to the world, and half ruin me in damages. There was but one course +open--to make a fight for it; and, from what I saw of my friend Mark +Anthony, this did not seem difficult. + +I accordingly assumed a high tone--laughed at the entire affair--said it +was a "way we had in the army"--that "we never meant any thing by it," +&c. &c. + +In a few minutes I perceived the bait was taking. Mr. Fitzpatrick's west +country blood was up: all thought of the legal resource was abandoned; +and he flung out of the room to find a friend, I having given him the +name of "one of ours" as mine upon the occasion. + +Very little time was lost, for before three o'clock that afternoon a +meeting was fixed for the following morning at the North Bull; and I had +the satisfaction of hearing that I only escaped the malignant eloquence +of Holmes in the King's Bench, to be "blazed" at by the best shot on the +western circuit. The thought was no way agreeable, and I indemnified +myself for the scrape by a very satisfactory anathema upon the high +sheriff and his ball, and his confounded saucepans; for to the lady's +sympathy for my sufferings I attributed much of my folly. + +At eight the next morning I found myself standing with Curzon and the +doctor upon that bleak portion of her majesty's dominion they term the +North Bull, waiting in a chilly rain, and a raw fog, till it pleased Mark +Anthony Fitzpatrick, to come and shoot me--such being the precise terms +of our combat, in the opinion of all parties. + +The time, however, passed on, and half-past eight, three quarters, and at +last nine o'clock, without his appearing; when, just as Curzon had +resolved upon our leaving the ground, a hack jaunting-car was seen +driving at full speed along the road near us. It came nearer and at +length drew up; two men leaped off and came towards us; one of whom, as +he came forward, took off his hat politely, and introduced himself as Mr. +O'Gorman, the fighting friend of Mark Anthony. + +"It's a mighty unpleasant business I'm come upon, gentlemen," said he, +"Mr. Fitzpatrick has been unavoidedly prevented from having the happiness +to meet you this morning--" + +"Then you can't expect us, sir, to dance attendance upon him here to- +morrow," said Curzon, interrupting. + +"By no manner of means," replied the other, placidly; "for it would be +equally inconvenient for him to be here then. But I have only to say, +maybe you'd have the kindness to waive all etiquette, and let me stand in +his place." + +"Certainly and decidedly not," said Curzon. "Waive etiquette!--why, sir, +we have no quarrel with you; never saw you before." + +"Well, now, isn't this hard?" said Mr. O'Gorman, addressing his friend, +who stood by with a pistol-case under his arm; "but I told Mark that I +was sure they'd be standing upon punctilio, for they were English. Well, +sir," said he, turning towards Curzon, "there's but one way to arrange it +now, that I see. Mr. Fitzpatrick, you must know, was arrested this +morning for a trifle of L140. If you or your friend there, will join us +in the bail we can get him out, and he'll fight you in the morning to +your satisfaction." + +When the astonishment this proposal had created subsided, we assured +Mr. O'Gorman that we were noways disposed to pay such a price for our +amusement--a fact that seemed considerably to surprise both him and his +friend--and adding, that to Mr. Fitzpatrick personally, we should feel +bound to hold ourselves pledged at a future period, we left the ground, +Curzon laughing heartily at the original expedient thus suggested, and I +inwardly pronounced a most glowing eulogy on the law of imprisonment for +debt. + +Before Mr. Fitzpatrick obtained the benefit of the act, we were ordered +abroad, and I have never since heard of him. + + + + +CHAPTER XL. + +THE TWO LETTERS. + +From the digression of the last chapter I was recalled by the sight of +the two letters which lay during my reverie unopened before me. I first +broke the seal of Lady Callonby's epistle, which ran thus: + + "Munich, La Croix Blanche, + + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer--I have just heard from Kilkee, that you are + at length about to pay us your long promised visit, and write these + few lines to beg that before leaving Paris you will kindly execute + for me the commissions of which I enclose a formidable list, or at + least as many of them as you can conveniently accomplish. Our stay + here now will be short, that it will require all your despatch to + overtake us before reaching Milan, Lady Jane's health requiring an + immediate change of climate. Our present plans are, to winter in + Italy, although such will interfere considerably with Lord Callonby, + who is pressed much by his friends to accept office. However, all + this and our other gossip I reserve for our meeting. Meanwhile, + adieu, and if any of my tasks bore you, omit them at once, except + the white roses and the Brussels veil, which Lady Jane is most + anxious for. + + "Sincerely yours, + "Charlotte Callonby." + +How much did these few and apparently common-place lines convey to me? +First, my visit was not only expected, but actually looked forward to, +canvassed--perhaps I might almost whisper to myself the flattery--wished +for. Again, Lady Jane's health was spoken of as precarious, less actual +illness--I said to myself--than mere delicacy requiring the bluer sky and +warmer airs of Italy. Perhaps her spirits were affected--some mental +malady--some ill-placed passion--que sais je? In fact my brain run on +so fast in its devisings, that by a quick process, less logical than +pleasing, I satisfied myself that the lovely Lady Jane Callonby was +actually in love, with whom let the reader guess at. And Lord Callonby +too, about to join the ministry--well, all the better to have one's +father-in-law in power--promotion is so cursed slow now a-days. And +lastly, the sly allusion to the commissions--the mechancete of +introducing her name to interest me. With such materials as these to +build upon, frail as they may seem to others, I found no difficulty in +regarding myself as the dear friend of the family, and the acknowledged +suitor of Lady Jane. + +In the midst, however, of all my self-gratulation, my eye fell upon the +letter of Emily Bingham, and I suddenly remembered how fatal to all such +happy anticipations it might prove. I tore it open in passionate haste +and read-- + + "My dear Mr. Lorrequer--As from the interview we have had this + morning I am inclined to believe that I have gained your affections, + I think that I should ill requite such a state of your feeling for + me, were I to conceal that I cannot return you mine--in fact they + are not mine to bestow. This frank avowal, whatever pain it may + have cost me, I think I owe to you to make. You will perhaps say, + the confession should have been earlier; to which I reply, it should + have been so, had I known, or even guessed at the nature of your + feelings for me. For--and I write it in all truth, and perfect + respect for you--I only saw in your attentions the flirting habits + of a man of the world, with a very uninformed and ignorant girl of + eighteen, with whom as it was his amusement to travel, he deemed it + worth his while to talk. I now see, and bitterly regret my error, + yet deem it better to make this painful confession than suffer you + to remain in a delusion which may involve your happiness in the + wreck of mine. I am most faithfully your friend, + + "Emily Bingham." + +What a charming girl she is, I cried, as I finished the letter; how full +of true feeling, how honourably, how straight-forward: and yet it is +devilish strange how cunningly she played her part--and it seems now that +I never did touch her affections; Master Harry, I begin to fear you are +not altogether the awful lady-killer you have been thinking. Thus did I +meditate upon this singular note--my delight at being once more "free" +mingling with some chagrin that I was jockied, and by a young miss of +eighteen, too. Confoundedly disagreeable if the mess knew it, thought I. +Per Baccho--how they would quiz upon my difficulty to break off a match, +when the lady was only anxious to get rid of me. + +This affair must never come to their ears, or I am ruined; and now, the +sooner all negociations are concluded the better. I must obtain a +meeting with Emily. Acknowledge the truth and justice of all her views, +express my deep regret at the issue of the affair, slily hint that I have +been merely playing her own game back upon her; for it would be the devil +to let her go off with the idea that she had singed me, yet never caught +fire herself; so that we both shall draw stakes, and part friends. + +This valiant resolution taken, I wrote a very short note, begging an +interview, and proceeded to make as formidable a toilet as I could for +the forthcoming meeting; before I had concluded which, a verbal answer by +her maid informed me, that "Miss Bingham was alone, and ready to receive +me." + +As I took my way along the corridor, I could not help feeling that among +all my singular scrapes and embarassing situations through life, my +present mission was certainly not the least--the difficulty, such as it +was, being considerably increased by my own confounded "amour propre," +that would not leave me satisfied with obtaining my liberty, if I could +not insist upon coming off scathless also. In fact, I was not content to +evacuate the fortress, if I were not to march out with all the honours of +war. This feeling I neither attempt to palliate nor defend, I merely +chronicle it as, are too many of these confessions, a matter of truth, +yet not the less a subject for sorrow. + +My hand was upon the lock of the door. I stopped, hesitated, and +listened. I certainly heard something. Yes, it is too true--she is +sobbing. What a total overthrow to all my selfish resolves, all my +egotistical plans, did that slight cadence give. She was crying--her +tears for the bitter pain she concluded I was suffering--mingling +doubtless with sorrow for her own sources of grief--for it was clear to +me that whoever may have been my favoured rival, the attachment was +either unknown to, or unsanctioned by the mother. I wished I had not +listened; all my determinations were completely routed and as I opened +the door I felt my heart beating almost audibly against my side. + +In a subdued half-light--tempered through the rose-coloured curtains, +with a small sevres cup of newly-plucked moss-roses upon the table--sat, +or rather leaned, Emily Bingham, her face buried in her hands as +I entered. She did not hear my approach, so that I had above a minute +to admire the graceful character of her head, and the fine undulating +curve of her neck and shoulders, before I spoke. + +"Miss Bingham," said I-- + +She started--looked up--her dark blue eyes, brilliant though tearful, +were fixed upon me for a second, as if searching my very inmost thoughts. +She held out her hand, and turning her head aside, made room for me on +the sofa beside her. Strange girl, thought I, that in the very moment +of breaking with a man for ever, puts on her most fascinating toilette-- +arrays herself in her most bewitching manner, and gives him a reception +only calculated to turn his head, and render him ten times more in love +than ever. Her hand, which remained still in mine, was burning as if in +fever, and the convulsive movement of her neck and shoulders showed me +how much this meeting cost her. We were both silent, till at length, +feeling that any chance interruption might leave us as far as ever from +understanding each other, I resolved to begin. + +"My dear, dear Emily," I said, "do not I entreat of you add to the misery +I am this moment enduring by letting me see you thus. Whatever your +wrongs towards me, this is far too heavy a retribution. My object was +never to make you wretched, if I am not to obtain the bliss, to strive +and make you happy." + +"Oh, Harry"--this was the first time she had ever so called me--"how like +you, to think of me--of me, at such a time, as if I was not the cause of +all our present unhappiness--but not wilfully, not intentionally. Oh, +no, no--your attentions--the flattery of your notice, took me at once, +and, in the gratification of my self-esteem, I forgot all else. I heard, +too, that you were engaged to another, and believing, as I did, that you +were trifling with my affections, I spared no effort to win your's. I +confess it, I wished this with all my soul." + +"And now," said I, "that you have gained them"--Here was a pretty sequel +to my well matured plans!--"And now Emily"-- + +"But have I really done so?" said she, hurriedly turning round and fixing +her large full eyes upon me, while one of her hands played convulsively +through my hair--"have I your heart? your whole heart?" + +"Can you doubt it, dearest," said I, passionately pressing her to my +bosom; and at the same time muttering, "What the devil's in the wind now; +we are surely not going to patch up our separation, and make love in +earnest." + +There she lay, her head upon my shoulder, her long, brown, waving +ringlets falling loosely across my face and on my bosom, her hand in +mine. What were her thoughts I cannot guess--mine, God forgive me, were +a fervent wish either for her mother's appearance, or that the hotel +would suddenly take fire, or some other extensive calamity arise to put +the finishing stroke to this embarassing situation. + +None of these, however, were destined to occur; and Emily lay still and +motionless as she was, scarce seeming to breathe, and pale as death. +What can this mean, said I, surely this is not the usual way to treat +with a rejected suitor; if it be, why then, by Jupiter the successful one +must have rather the worst of it--and I fervently hope that Lady Jane be +not at this moment giving his conge to some disappointed swain. She +slowly raised her long, black fringed eyelids, and looked into my face, +with an expression at once so tender and so plaintive, that I felt a +struggle within myself whether to press her to my heart, or--what the +deuce was the alternative. I hope my reader knows, for I really do not. +And after all, thought I, if we are to marry, I am only anticipating a +little; and if not, why then a "chaste salute," as Winifred Jenkins calls +it, she'll be none the worse for. Acting at once upon this resolve, I +leaned downwards, and passing back her ringlets from her now flushed +cheek, I was startled by my name, which I heard called several times in +the corridor. The door at the same instant was burst suddenly open, and +Trevanion appeared. + +"Harry, Harry Lorrequer," cried he, as he entered; then suddenly checking +himself, added "a thousand, ten thousand pardons. But--" + +"But what," cried I passionately, forgetting all save the situation of +poor Emily at the moment, "what can justify--" + +"Nothing certainly can justify such an intrusion," said Trevanion, +finishing my sentence for me, "except the very near danger you run this +moment in being arrested. O'Leary's imprudence has compromised your +safety, and you must leave Paris within an hour." + +"Oh, Mr. Trevanion," said Emily, who by this time had regained a more +befitting attitude, "pray speak out; what is it? is Harry--is Mr. +Lorrequer, I mean, in any danger?" + +"Nothing of consequence, Miss Bingham, if he only act with prudence, and +be guided by his friends. Lorrequer, you will find me in your apartments +in half an hour--till then, adieu." + +While Emily poured forth question after question, as to the nature and +extent of my present difficulty, I could not help thinking of the tact +by which Trevanion escaped, leaving me to make my adieux to Emily as best +I might--for I saw in a glance that I must leave Paris at once. +I, therefore, briefly gave her to understand the affair at the salon-- +which I suspected to be the cause of the threatened arrest--and was about +to profess my unaltered and unalterable attachment, when she suddenly +stopped me. + +"No, Mr. Lorrequer, no. All is over between us. We must never meet +again--never. We have been both playing a part. Good by--good by: do +not altogether forget me--and once more, Harry good by." + +What I might have said, thought, or done, I know not; but the arrival of +Mrs. Bingham's carriage at the door left no time for any thing but +escape. So, once more pressing her hand firmly to my lips, I said--"au +revoir, Emily, au revoir, not good by," and rushing from the room, +regained my own, just as Mrs. Bingham reached the corridor. + + + + +CHAPTER XLI. + +MR. O'LEARY'S CAPTURE. + +Does she really care for me? was my first question to myself as I left +the room. Is this story about pre-engaged affections merely a got up +thing, to try the force of my attachment for her? for, if not, her +conduct is most inexplicable; and great as my experience has been in +such affairs, I avow myself out maneuvered. While I thought over this +difficulty, Trevanion came up, and in a few words, informed me more fully +upon what he hinted at before. It appeared that O'Leary, much more alive +to the imperative necessity of avoiding detection by his sposa, than of +involving himself with the police, had thrown out most dark and +mysterious hints in the hotel as to the reason of his residence at Paris; +fully impressed with the idea that, to be a good Pole, he need only talk +"revolutionary;" devote to the powers below, all kings, czars, and +kaisers; weep over the wrongs of his nation; wear rather seedy +habiliments, and smoke profusely. The latter were with him easy +conditions, and he so completely acted the former to the life, that he +had been that morning arrested in the Tuilleries gardens, under several +treasonable charges--among others, the conspiracy, with some of his +compatriots to murder the minister of war. + +However laughable such an accusation against poor O'Leary, one +circumstance rendered the matter any thing but ludicrous. Although he +must come off free of this grave offence, yet, the salon transaction +would necessarily now become known; I should be immediately involved, +and my departure from Paris prevented. + +"So," said Trevanion, as he briefly laid before me the difficulty of my +position, "you may perceive that however strongly your affections may be +engaged in a certain quarter, it is quite as well to think of leaving +Paris without delay. O'Leary's arrest will be followed by yours, depend +upon it; and once under the surveillance of the police, escape is +impossible." + +"But, seriously, Trevanion," said I, nettled at the tone of raillery he +spoke in, "you must see that there is nothing whatever in that business. +I was merely taking my farewell of the fair Emily. Her affections have +been long since engaged, and I--" + +"Only endeavouring to support her in her attachment to the more favoured +rival. Is it not so?" + +"Come, no quizzing. Faith I began to feel very uncomfortable about +parting with her, the moment that I discovered that I must do so." + +"So I guessed," said Trevanion, with a dry look, "from the interesting +scene I so abruptly trespassed upon. But you are right; a little bit of +tendresse is never misplaced, so long as the object is young, pretty, and +still more than all, disposed for it." + +"Quite out; perfectly mistaken, believe me. Emily not only never cared +for me; but she has gone far enough to tell me so." + +"Then, from all I know of such matters," replied he, "you were both in a +very fair way to repair that mistake on her part. But hark! what is +this?" A tremendous noise in the street here interrupted our colloquy, +and on opening the window, a strange scene presented itself to our eyes. +In the middle of a dense mass of moving rabble, shouting, yelling, and +screaming, with all their might, were two gens d'armes with a prisoner +between them. The unhappy man was followed by a rather well-dressed, +middle-aged looking woman, who appeared to be desirous of bestowing the +most covam publico endearments upon the culprit, whom a second glance +showed us was O'Leary. + +"I tell you, my dear madam, you are mistaken," said O'Leary, addressing +her with great sternness of manner and voice. + +"Mistaken! Never, never. How could I ever be mistaken in that dear +voice, those lovely eyes, that sweet little nose?" + +"Take her away; she's deranged," said O'Leary to the gens d'armes. +"Sure, if I'm a Pole, that's enough of misfortune." + +"I'll follow him to the end of the earth, I will." + +"I'm going to the galleys, God be praised," said O'Leary. + +"To the galleys--to the guillotine--any where," responded she, throwing +herself upon his neck, much less, as it seemed, to his gratification, +than that of the mob, who laughed and shouted most uproariously. + +"Mrs. Ram, ain't you ashamed?" + +"He calls me by my name," said she, "and he attempts to disown me. Ha! +ha! ha! ha!" and immediately fell off into a strong paroxysm of kicking, +and pinching, and punching the bystanders, a malady well known under the +name of hysterics; but being little more than a privileged mode, among +certain ladies, of paying off some scores, which it is not thought decent +to do in their more sober moments. + +"Lead me away--anywhere--convict me of what you like," said he, "but +don't let her follow me." + +The gens d'armes, who little comprehended the nature of the scene before +them, were not sorry to anticipate a renewal of it on Mrs. Ram's +recovery, and accordingly seized the opportunity to march on with +O'Leary, who turned the corner of the Rue Rivoli, under a shower of +"meurtriers" and "scelerats" from the mob, that fell fortunately most +unconsciously upon his ears. + +The possibility of figuring in such a procession contributed much to the +force of Trevanion's reasonings, and I resolved to leave Paris at once. + +"Promise me, then, to involve yourself in no more scrapes for half-an- +hour. Pack every thing you shall want with you, and, by seven o'clock, +I shall be here with your passport and all ready for a start." + +With a beating brain, and in a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts, I threw +my clothes hither and thither into my trunk; Lady Jane and Emily both +flitting every instant before my imagination, and frequently an +irresolution to proceed stopping all my preparations for departure, I sat +down musing upon a chair, and half determined to stay where I was, coute +qui coute. Finally, the possibility of exposure in a trial, had its +weight. I continued my occupation till the last coat was folded, and the +lock turned, when I seated myself opposite my luggage, and waited +impatiently for my friend's return. + + + +EBOOK EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +Devilish hot work, this, said the colonel +Empty, valueless, heartless flirtation +Enough is as good as a feast +Finish in sorrow what you have begun in folly +Gardez vous des femmes, and more especially if they be Irish +Jaunting-cars, with three on a side and "one in the well" +Mistaking zeal for inclination +Other bottle of claret that lies beyond the frontier of prudence +Packed jury of her relatives, who rarely recommend you to mercy +There is no infatuation like the taste for flirtation + + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CONFESSIONS OF LORREQUER, V5 *** + +******** This file should be named chl5w10.txt or chl5w10.zip ********* + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks get a new NUMBER, chl5w11.txt +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, chl5w10a.txt + +This eBook was produced by Mary Munarin +and David Widger <widger@cecomet.net> + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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