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+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #51913 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51913)
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Carter, and Other People
-
-Author: Don Marquis
-
-Release Date: May 1, 2016 [EBook #51913]
-Last Updated: March 13, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE
-
-By Don Marquis
-
-D. Appleton and Co.
-
-1921
-
-
-
-
-FOREWORD
-
-|I wish to acknowledge my indebtedness to the editors of several
-magazines for permission to reprint the following stories in book form.
-“Carter” was originally published in _Harpers Monthly Magazine_ under
-the title “The Mulatto.”
-
-“Death and Old Man Murtrie” was printed in The New _Republic_; others
-were first brought out in _Everybody's Magazine, Short Stories, Putnam's
-Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post_. “The Penitent” was originally
-printed in _The Pictorial Review_, with the title “The Healer and
-the Penitent.” The plot of this story is taken from two poems, one by
-Browning and one by Owen Meredith. Happening to read these two poems,
-one after the other, I was struck by the fact that Owen Meredith had
-unwittingly written what was in effect a continuation of a situation
-invented by Browning; the plot of the one poem, telescoped into the plot
-of the other, made in effect a complete short story. I pasted the two
-situations together, so to speak, inventing an ending of my own, and had
-a short story which neither Browning nor Owen Meredith could claim as
-his-and which I scarcely have the nerve to claim as mine. And yet this
-story, taken piecemeal from the two poets, gave me more trouble than
-anything else I ever tried to write; it was all there, apparently; but
-to transpose the story into a modern American setting was a difficult
-job. It is my only essay in conscious plagiarism-I hate to call it
-plagiarism, but what else could one call it?--and I give you my word
-that it is easier to invent than to plagiarize.
-
-The one-act play, “Words and Thoughts,” was written ten years ago-in
-1911-and has been offered to every theatrical manager in America, and
-refused by them all. I still believe in it as a thing that could be
-acted with effect, and I am determined to get it read, even if I
-cannot get it produced. The fact that it has been going the rounds of
-theatrical managers for ten years is no indication that it has ever been
-read.
-
-Don Marquis
-
-New York
-
-
-
-
-I.-Carter
-
-|Carter was not exactly a negro, but he was a “nigger.” Seven drops of
-his blood out of every eight were Caucasian. The eighth, being African,
-classified him. The white part of him despised and pitied the black
-part. The black part hated the white part. Consequently, wherever Carter
-went he carried his own hell along inside of him.
-
-Carter began to learn that he was a nigger very early in life. Nigger
-children are not left long in doubt anywhere, and especially in the
-South. Carter first saw the light--and the shadows--of day in Atlanta.
-The color line itself, about which one hears so much talk, seemed to run
-along one end of the alley in which he was born. It was an alley with a
-gutter and a great deal of mud in it. At the corner, where it gave into
-a little narrow street not much better than an alley itself, the mud was
-the thickest, deepest, and best adapted to sculptural purposes. But in
-the little street lived a number of white families. They were most
-of them mill hands, and a numerous spawn of skinny children, little
-“crackers,” with faces white and sad even from babyhood, disputed the
-mud with the nigger children. Nigger babies of five, four, three, and
-even two, understood quite well that this most desirable mud, even
-though it was in the nigger alley, was claimed by the white babies as
-_their_ mud. It was in every way a more attractive sort of mud than
-any in the little street proper; and juvenile race riots were of almost
-hourly occurrence--skirmishes in which the very dogs took part. For the
-dogs grasped the situation as clearly as did the children; a “nigger”
- dog, even though he may have started in life as a white man's dog, soon
-gets a certain look about him.
-
-So there was no chance for Carter to escape the knowledge that he was
-a nigger. But it was with a thrill that he perceived in his youthful
-excursions from the home alley, that he was sometimes mistaken for a
-white child. He was so white in color that one could not tell he was a
-nigger at a casual glance.
-
-As he grew up, he made another discovery that elated and embittered him
-still more. He found out who his father was--or rather, who his father
-had been, since he never saw that gentleman. The white blood in Carter's
-veins was no common ichor. Because white people seldom speak of these
-things it does not follow that they are not known pretty generally among
-the negroes. They are, in fact, discussed.
-
-Carter went to school; he made the further discovery that he had
-brains--“white man's brains” is the way he put it to himself. Given the
-opportunity, he told himself, he could go as far as the average white
-man--perhaps further than the average. The white man's standard, nigger
-though he was, was still the standard by which he must measure himself.
-But the opportunity! Even as the youth prepared himself for it he
-perceived, hopelessly, that it would be denied him.
-
-As he matured he began to feel a strange, secret pride in that
-white family whose blood he shared. He familiarized himself with its
-genealogy. There is many a courtier who cannot trace his ancestry as
-far back as Carter could. One of his forebears had signed Magna Charta;
-several had fought in the Revolutionary War. There had been a United
-States Senator in the family, and a Confederate General. At times,
-feeling the vigorous impulse of hereditary instinct and ambitions,
-Carter looked upon himself as all white man, but never for long, nor to
-any purpose. The consciousness of his negro blood pulled him down again.
-
-But, as he grew up, he ceased to herd with black negroes; he scorned
-them. He crept about the world cursing it and himself--an unfortunate
-and bitter creature that had no place; unfortunate and bitter, cursed
-with an intellect, denied that mitigation that might have come with a
-full share of the negro jovialty of disposition, forever unreconciled.
-
-There was one member of that white family from which he drew so much of
-his blood whom Carter particularly admired. Willoughby Howard was about
-Carter's own age, and he was Carter's half-brother. Howard did not
-distinguish Carter from any other mulatto; probably did not know of his
-existence. But as Howard reached manhood, and, through virtue of his
-wealth and standing and parts, began to attain an excellent place in
-the world, his rise was watched by Carter with a strange intensity of
-emotion. Carter in some occult way identified himself with the career of
-Willoughby Howard--sometimes he almost worshiped Willoughby Howard,
-and then he hated him; he envied him and raged over him with the same
-breath.
-
-But mostly, as the isolation of his own condition, ate into his soul,
-he raged over himself; he pitied himself; he hated himself. Out of the
-turmoil of his spirit arose the one despairing cry, Oh, to be white,
-white, _white!_
-
-Many a night he lay awake until daybreak, measuring the slow minutes
-with the ceaseless iteration of that useless prayer: Only to be white! O
-God, for _one little year of being white!_
-
-Fruitless hours of prayers and curses!
-
-Carter went North. He went to New York. But the North, which affects to
-promise so much to the negro, in a large, loose, general way, does not
-perform in the same degree. There was only one thing which Carter would
-have thanked any one for performing; it was the one thing that could
-never be performed--he wanted to be made white. Sometimes, indeed, from
-the depths of his despair, he cried out that he wanted to be altogether
-black; but in his soul he did not really want that.
-
-Nevertheless, at several different periods he yielded to temptation
-and “went over to the whites.” In the South he could not have done
-this without discovery, in spite of the color of his skin. But in the
-Northern cities, with their enormous numbers of aliens, all more or less
-strange to the American eye, Carter found no great difficulty in passing
-as white. He “looked a little foreign” to the casual glance; that was
-all.
-
-But if there was no great difficulty in it, there was no great
-satisfaction in it, either. In fact, it only made him the more bitter.
-Others might think him a white man, but he knew that he was a nigger.
-
-The incident which sent him back South, resolved to be a nigger, and to
-live and die among the niggers, might not have affected another in his
-condition just as it did Carter. But to him it showed conclusively that
-his destiny was not a matter of environment so much as a question of
-himself.
-
-He fell in love. The girl was a waitress in a cheap restaurant near the
-barber shop where Carter worked. She was herself a product of the
-East Side, struggling upward from the slums; partly Italian, with some
-Oriental strain in her that had given the least perceptible obliqueness
-to her eyes--one of those rare hybrid products which give the thinker
-pause and make him wonder what the word “American” will signify a
-century from now; a creature with very red lips and very black eyebrows;
-she seemed to know more than she really did; she had a kind of naïve
-charm, a sort of allurement, without actual beauty; and her name had
-been Anglicized into Mary.
-
-And she loved Carter. This being, doomed from the cradle to despair, had
-his moment of romance. But even in his intoxication there was no hope;
-his elation was embittered and perplexed. He was tempted not to tell the
-girl that he was a nigger. But if he married her, and did not tell her,
-perhaps the first child would tell her. It might look more of a nigger
-than he did.
-
-But if he told her, would she marry a nigger? He decided he would tell
-her. Perhaps his conscience had less to do with this decision than the
-fatalism of his temperament.
-
-So he made his revelation one Sunday evening, as they walked along the
-boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton. To him, it was a tremendous
-moment. For days he had been revolving in his mind the phrases he
-would use; he had been rehearsing his plea; in his imagination he saw
-something spectacular, something histrionic, in his confession.
-
-“Mary,” he said, as they sat down on a bench on the beach, “there is
-something I think I ought to tell you before we get married.”
-
-The girl turned toward him her big, sleepy, dark eyes, which always
-seemed to see and understand so much more than they really did, and
-looked away again.
-
-“I ought to tell you,” he said--and as he said it, staring out to sea,
-he was so imposed upon by the importance of the moment to himself that
-he almost felt as if the sea listened and the waves paused--“I ought to
-tell you that I have negro blood in my veins.”
-
-She was silent. There was a moment before he dared look at her; he could
-not bear to read his doom in her eyes. But finally he did muster up
-courage enough to turn his head.
-
-The girl was placidly chewing gum and gazing at an excursion vessel that
-was making a landing at one of the piers.
-
-He thought she had not heard. “Mary,” he repeated, “I have negro blood
-in my veins.”
-
-“Uh-huh,” said she. “I gotcha the first time, Steve! Say, I wonder if we
-couldn't take the boat back to town? Huh? Whatcha say?”
-
-He looked at her almost incredulous. She had understood, and yet she
-had not shrunk away from him! He examined her with a new interest; his
-personal drama, in which she, perforce, must share, seemed to have made
-no impression upon her whatsoever.
-
-“Do you mean,” he said, hesitatingly, “that it will--that it won't make
-any difference to you? That you can marry me, that you _will_ marry me,
-in spite of--of--in spite of what I am?”
-
-“Gee! but ain't you the solemn one!” said the girl, taking hold of her
-gum and “stringing” it out from her lips. “Whatcha s'pose I care for a
-little thing like that?”
-
-He had looked for a sort of dramatic “situation”; and, behold, there was
-none! There was none simply because the girl had no vantage point from
-which to look at his life and hers. He had negro blood in his veins--and
-she simply did not care one way or the other!
-
-He felt no elation, no exultation; he believed that she _should_ have
-cared; whether her love was great enough to pardon that in him or not,
-she should have felt it as a thing that _needed_ pardon.
-
-As he stared at the girl, and she continued to chew her gum, he swiftly
-and subtly revised his estimate of her; and in his new appraisement
-there was more than a tinge of disgust. And for a moment he became
-altogether a white man in his judgment of the thing that was happening;
-he looked at the situation as a patrician of the South might have looked
-at it; the seven eighths of his blood which was white spoke:
-
-“By God!” he said, suddenly leaping to his feet and flinging aside the
-startled hand which the girl put out toward him, “I can't have anything
-to do with a woman who'd marry a nigger!”
-
-So Carter went back to Atlanta. And, curiously enough, he stepped from
-the train almost into the midst of a strange and terrible conflict of
-which the struggle in his individual breast was, in a sense, the type
-and the symbol.
-
-It was a Saturday night in September, an evening on which there began
-a memorable and sanguinary massacre of negroes; an event which has been
-variously explained and analyzed, but of which, perhaps, the underlying
-causes will never be completely understood.
-
-There was riot in the streets, a whirlwind of passion which lashed the
-town and lifted up the trivial souls of men and spun them round and
-round, and passed and left the stains of blood behind. White men were
-making innocent negroes suffer for the brutal crimes of guilty negroes.
-It had been a hot summer; scarcely a day had passed during July and
-August without bringing to the newspapers from somewhere in Georgia
-a report of a negro assault upon some white woman. A blind,
-undiscriminating anger against the whole negro race had been growing and
-growing. And when, on that Saturday afternoon, the newspapers reported
-four more crimes, in rapid succession, all in or near Atlanta, the
-cumulative rage burst into a storm.
-
-There was no danger for Carter in the streets; more than a hasty glance
-was necessary to spy out his negro taint. He stood in a doorway, in the
-heart of the business district of the town, and watched the wild work
-that went on in a large, irregular plaza, where five streets come
-together and all the car lines in the place converge. From this roughly
-triangular plaza leads Decatur Street, at one time notorious throughout
-the South for its negro dives and gambling-dens.
-
-Now and then Carter could hear the crack of a pistol, close at hand
-or far away; and again some fleeing negro would start from a place of
-temporary concealment, at the approach of a mob that beat its way along
-a street, and make a wild dash for safety, as a rabbit startled from the
-sedge-grass scurries to the brush. There was not one mob, but several;
-the different bands united, split up, and reunited, as the shifting
-winds of madness blew. The plaza, with arc lights all about it, was
-the brilliantly illuminated stage on which more than one scene of that
-disgusting melodrama was played out; from some dim hell of gloom and
-clamor to the north or east would rush a shouting group that whirled
-and swayed beneath the lights, dancing like flecks of soot in their
-brightness, to disappear in the gloom again, shouting, cursing, and
-gesticulating, down one of the thoroughfares to the west or south. And
-to Carter, in whose heart there waxed a fearful turmoil of emotions,
-even as the two races clashed along the echoing streets, there was a
-strange element of unreality about it all; or, rather, the night was
-dreadful with that superior reality which makes so much more vivid than
-waking life the intense experience of dreams. Carter thrilled; he shook;
-he was torn with terror and pity and horror and hatred.
-
-No white man felt all that Carter felt that night; nor yet any negro.
-For he was both, and he was neither; and he beheld that conflict which
-was forever active in his own nature dramatized by fate and staged with
-a thousand actors in the lighted proscenium at his feet.
-
-This thought struck Carter himself, and he turned toward another man who
-had paused in the doorway, with no clear intention, but perhaps with the
-vague impulse of addressing him, as a point of solid contact and relief
-from the sense of hurrying nightmare that possessed both the streets and
-his own spirit.
-
-Startled, he saw that the other man was Willoughby Howard. Carter
-hesitated, and then advanced a step. But whatever he had to say was
-interrupted by a crowd that swept past them from Decatur Street in
-pursuit of a panting negro. The fleeing colored man was struck a dozen
-times; he fell at the street corner near them, and the mob surged
-on again into the darkness beyond, already in full chase of another
-quarry--all but one man, who left the mob and ran back as if to assure
-himself that the prostrate negro was really dead.
-
-This was a short man, a very short man, a dwarf with a big head too
-heavy for him, and little bandy legs--legs so inadequate that he wabbled
-like an overfed poodle when he ran. Carter had seen him twice before
-that night, dodging in and out among the feet of the rioters like an
-excited cur, stumbling, falling, trodden upon; a being with bloodshot
-eyes and matted hair, hoarse voice and menacing fist, drunken and
-staggering with blood lust; the very Gnome of Riot himself come up from
-some foul cave and howling in the streets. “Kill them! Kill them!”
- he would cry, and then shake with cackling laughter. But he was only
-valiant when there was; no danger. As he approached the negro who lay
-upon the ground, and bent over him, Willoughby Howard stepped down
-from the doorway and aimed a blow at the creature with a cane. The blow
-missed, but the dwarf ran shrieking down Decatur Street.
-
-Howard bent over the negro. The negro stirred; he was not dead. Howard
-turned toward Carter and said:
-
-“He's alive! Help me get him out of the street.”
-
-Together they lifted the wounded man, moving him toward the curbstone.
-He groaned and twisted, and they laid him down. Howard poured whisky
-into him from a pocket flask, and a little later he managed to struggle
-to a sitting posture on the curb, looking up at them with dazed eyes and
-a bloody face.
-
-Howard took his slow gaze from the negro and covered his face with his
-hands.
-
-Carter watched him.
-
-Of all men in the world this was the one whom Carter most honored and
-most loved--honored and loved, while he envied; he was the only man,
-perhaps, that could have touched Carter through his crust of bitterness.
-Carter listened with strained attention for what Howard would say, as if
-with some premonition that the words would be the cue for the most vital
-action of his life.
-
-“My God! My God!” said Willoughby Howard, “will this thing never stop?”
- And then he straightened himself and turned toward the shadow into which
-Carter had retired, and there was the glow and glory of a large idea on
-his face; the thought of a line of men never lacking, when once aroused,
-in the courage to do and die for a principle or a human need. “There is
-one way,” he cried, stretching out his hands impulsively to Carter, and
-not knowing to whom or to what manner of man he spoke--“there is one way
-to make them pause and think! If two of us white men of the better class
-offer our lives for these poor devils--die in their defense!--the mob
-will halt; the crowd will think; we can end it! Will you do it, with me?
-Will you do it?”
-
-Two of us white men of the better class! Willoughby Howard had taken him
-for a white man!
-
-It was like an accolade. A light blazed through the haunted caverns of
-his soul; he swelled with a vast exultation.
-
-Willoughby Howard had taken him for a white man! Then, by God, he would
-be one! Since he was nothing in this life, he could at least die--and in
-his death he would be a white man! Nay, more:--he would die shoulder to
-shoulder with one of that family whose blood he shared. He would show
-that he, too, could shed that blood for an idea or a principle! For
-humanity! At the thought he could feel it singing in his veins. Oh, to
-be white, white, white! The dreams and the despairs of all his miserable
-and hampered life passed before him in a whirl, and now the cry was
-answered!
-
-“Yes,” he said, lifting his head, and rising at that instant into a
-larger thing than he had ever been, “I will stand by you. I will die
-with you.” And under his breath he added--“my brother.”
-
-They had not long to wait. In the confused horror of that night things
-happened quickly. Even as Carter spoke the wounded negro struggled to
-his feet with a scarce articulate cry of alarm, for around the corner
-swept a mob, and the dwarf with matted hair was in the lead. He had come
-back with help to make sure of his job.
-
-With the negro cowering behind them, the white man and the mulatto
-stepped forth to face the mob. Their attitude made their intention
-obvious.
-
-“Don't be a damned fool, Willoughby Howard,” said a voice from the
-crowd, “or you may get hurt yourself.” And with the words there was a
-rush, and the three were in the midst of the clamoring madness, the mob
-dragging the negro from his two defenders.
-
-“Be careful--don't hurt Willoughby Howard!” said the same voice again.
-Willoughby turned, and, recognizing the speaker as an acquaintance, with
-a sudden access of scorn and fury and disgust, struck him across the
-mouth. The next moment his arms were pinioned, and he was lifted and
-flung away from the negro he had been fighting to protect by half a
-dozen men.
-
-“You fools! You fools!” he raged, struggling toward the center of
-the crowd again, “you're killing a white man there. An innocent white
-man------ Do you stop at nothing? You're killing a _white man_, I say!”
-
-“White man?” said the person whom he had struck, and who appeared to
-bear him little resentment for the blow. “Who's a white man? Not Jerry
-Carter here! He wasn't any white man. I've known him since he was a
-kid--he was just one of those yaller niggers.”
-
-And Carter heard it as he died.
-
-
-
-
-II--Old Man Murtrie
-
-|Old Man Murtrie never got any fresh air at all, except on Sundays on
-his way to and from church. He lived, slept, cooked and ate back of the
-prescription case in his little dismal drug store in one of the most
-depressing quarters of Brooklyn. The store was dimly lighted by gas and
-it was always damp and suggested a tomb. Drifting feebly about in the
-pale and cold and faintly greenish radiance reflected from bottles and
-show cases, Old Man Murtrie with his bloodless face and dead white hair
-and wisps of whisker was like a ghost that has not managed to get free
-from the neighborhood of a sepulcher where its body lies disintegrating.
-
-People said that Old Man Murtrie was nearly a hundred years old,
-but this was not true; he was only getting along towards ninety. The
-neighborhood, however, seemed a little impatient with him for not dying.
-Some persons suggested that perhaps he really had been dead for a long
-time, and did not know it. If so, they thought, it might be kind to tell
-him about it.
-
-But Old Man Murtrie was not dead, any more than he was alive. And Death
-himself, who has his moments of impatience, began to get worried about
-Old Man Murtrie. It was time, Death thought, that he was dead, since he
-looked so dead; and Death had said so, both to God and to the Devil.
-
-“But I don't want to garner him, naturally,” Death would say, “till
-I know which one of you is to have him. He's got to go somewhere, you
-know.”
-
-God and Death and the Devil used to sit on the prescription counter in
-a row, now and then, and watch Old Man Murtrie as he slept in his humble
-little cot back there, and discuss him.
-
-God would look at Old Man Murtrie's pale little Adam's Apple sticking up
-in the faint gaslight, and moving as he snored--moving feebly, for even
-his snores were feeble--and say, with a certain distaste:
-
-“I don't want him. He can't get into Heaven.”
-
-And the Devil would look at his large, weak, characterless nose;--a
-nose so big that it might have suggested force on any one but Old Man
-Murtrie--and think what a sham it was, and how effectually all its
-contemptible effort to be a real nose was exposed in Old Man Murtrie's
-sleep. And the Devil would say:
-
-“I don't want him. He can't get into Hell.”
-
-And then Death would say, querulously: “But he can't go on living
-forever. My reputation is suffering.”
-
-“You should take him,” the Devil would say to God. “He goes to church
-on Sunday, and he is the most meek and pious and humble and prayerful
-person in all Brooklyn, and perhaps in all the world.”
-
-“But he takes drugs,” God would say. “You should take him, because he is
-a drug fiend.”
-
-“He takes drugs,” the Devil would admit, “but that doesn't make him a
-_fiend_. You have to do something besides take drugs to be a fiend. You
-will permit me to have my own notions, I am sure, on what constitutes a
-fiend.”
-
-“You ought to forgive him the drugs for the sake of his piety,” the
-Devil would say. “And taking drugs is his only vice. He doesn't drink,
-or smoke tobacco, or use profane language, or gamble. And he doesn't run
-after women.”
-
-“You ought to forgive him the piety for the sake of the drugs,” God
-would tell the Devil.
-
-“I never saw such a pair as you two,” Death would say querulously.
-“Quibble, quibble, quibble!--while Old Man Murtrie goes on and on
-living! He's lived so long that he is affecting death rates and
-insurance tables, all by himself, and you know what that does to my
-reputation.”
-
-And Death would stoop over and run his finger caressingly across Old Man
-Murtrie's throat, as the Old Man slept. Whereupon Old Man Murtrie would
-roll over on his back and moan in his sleep and gurgle.
-
-“He has wanted to be a cheat all his life,” God would say to the Devil.
-“He has always had the impulse to give short weight and substitute
-inferior drugs in his prescriptions and overcharge children who were
-sent on errands to his store. If that isn't sin I don't know what sin
-is. You should take him.”
-
-“I admit he has had those impulses,” the Devil would say to God. “But
-he has never yielded to them. In my opinion having those impulses and
-conquering them makes him a great deal more virtuous than if he'd never
-had 'em. No one who is as virtuous as all that can get into Hell.”
-
-“I never saw such a pair,” Death would grumble. “Can't you agree with
-each other about anything?”
-
-“He didn't abstain from his vices because of any courage,” God would
-say. “He abstained simply because he was afraid. It wasn't virtue in
-him; it was cowardice.”
-
-“The fear of the Lord,” murmured the Devil, dreamily, “is the beginning
-of all wisdom.”
-
-“But not necessarily the end of it,” God would remark.
-
-“Argue, argue, argue,” Death would say, “and here's Old Man Murtrie
-still alive! I'm criticized about the way I do my work, but no one has
-any idea of the vacillation and inefficiency I have to contend with! I
-never saw such a pair as you two to vacillate!”
-
-Sometimes Old Man Murtrie would wake up and turn over on his couch and
-see God and Death and the Devil sitting in a row on the prescription
-counter, looking at him. But he always persuaded himself that it was
-a sort of dream, induced by the “medicine” he took; and he would take
-another dose of his “medicine” and go back to sleep again. He never
-spoke to them when he waked, but just lay on his cot and stared at them;
-and if they spoke to him he would pretend to himself that they had not
-spoken. For it was absurd to think that God and Death and the Devil
-could really be sitting there, in the dim greenish gaslight, among all
-the faintly radiant bottles, talking to each other and looking at him;
-and so Old Man Murtrie would not believe it.
-
-When he first began taking his “medicine” Old Man Murtrie took it in the
-form of a certain patent preparation which was full of opium. He wanted
-the opium more and more after he started, but he pretended to himself
-that he did not know there was much opium in that medicine. Then, when a
-federal law banished that kind of medicine from the markets, he took to
-making it for his own use. He would not take opium outright, for that
-would be to acknowledge to himself that he was an opium eater; he
-thought eating opium was a sin, and he thought of himself as sinless.
-But to make the medicine with the exact formula that its manufacturers
-had used, before they had been compelled to shut up shop, and use it,
-did not seem to him to be the same thing at all as being an opium eater.
-And yet, after the law was passed, abolishing the medicine, he would not
-sell to any one else what he made for himself; his conscience would not
-allow him to do so. Therefore, he must have known that he was eating
-opium at the same time he tried to fool himself about it.
-
-God and the Devil used to discuss the ethics of this attitude towards
-the “medicine,” and Old Man Murtrie would sometimes pretend to be asleep
-and would listen to them.
-
-“He knows it is opium all right,” God would say. “He is just lying to
-himself about it. He ought to go to Hell. No one that lies to himself
-that way can get into Heaven.”
-
-“He's pretending for the sake of society in general and for the sake of
-religion,” the Devil would say. “If he admitted to himself that it was
-opium and if he let the world know that he took opium, it might bring
-discredit on the church that he loves so well. He might become a
-stumbling block to others who are seeking salvation, and who seek it
-through the church. He is willing to sacrifice himself so as not to
-hamper others in their religious life. For my part, I think it is highly
-honorable of him, and highly virtuous. No person as moral as that in his
-instincts can get into Hell.”
-
-“Talk, talk, talk!” Death would say. “The trouble with you two is that
-neither one of you wants Old Man Murtrie around where you will have to
-look at him through all eternity, and each of you is trying to put it on
-moral grounds.”
-
-And Old Man Murtrie kept on living and praying and being pious and
-wanting to be bad and not daring to and taking his medicine and being
-generally as ineffectual in the world either for good or evil as a
-butterfly in a hurricane.
-
-But things took a turn. There was a faded-looking blonde woman with
-stringy hair by the name of Mable who assisted Old Man Murtrie in the
-store, keeping his books and waiting on customers, and so forth. She was
-unmarried, and one day she announced to him that she was going to have a
-child.
-
-Old Man Murtrie had often looked at her with a recollection, a dim and
-faint remembrance, of the lusts of his youth and of his middle age.
-In his youth and middle age he had lusted after many women, but he had
-never let any of them know it, because he was afraid, and he had called
-his fears virtue, and had really believed that he was virtuous.
-
-“Whom do you suspect?” asked Old Man Murtrie, leering at Mable like a
-wraith blown down the ages from the dead adulteries of ruined Babylon.
-
-“Who?” cried Mable, an unlessoned person, but with a cruel, instinctive
-humor. “Who but you!”
-
-She had expected Old Man Murtrie to be outraged at her ridiculous joke,
-and, because she was unhappy herself, had anticipated enjoying his
-astounded protests. But it was she who was astounded. Old Man Murtrie's
-face was blank and his eyes were big for a moment, and then he chuckled;
-a queer little cackling chuckle. And when she went out he opened the
-door for her and cocked his head and cackled again.
-
-It gave Mable an idea. She reflected that he took so much opium that he
-might possibly be led to believe the incredible, and she might get some
-money out of him. So the next evening she brought her mother and her
-brother to the store and accused him.
-
-Old Man Murtrie chuckled and... _and admitted it!_ Whether he believed
-that it could be true or not, Mable and her people were unable to
-determine. But they made the tactical error of giving him his choice
-between marriage and money, and he chose matrimony.
-
-And then Old Man Murtrie was suddenly seized with a mania for
-confession. God and Death and the Devil used to listen to him nights,
-and they wondered over him, and began to change their minds about him, a
-little. He confessed to the officials of his church. He confessed to all
-the people whom he knew. He insisted on making a confession, a public
-confession, in the church itself and asking for the prayers of the
-preacher and congregation for his sin, and telling them that he was
-going to atone by matrimony, and asking for a blessing on the wedding.
-
-And one night, full of opium, while he-was babbling about it in his
-sleep, God and Death and the Devil sat on the prescription counter again
-and looked at him and listened to his ravings and speculated.
-
-“I'm going to have him,” said the Devil. “Any one who displays such
-conspicuous bad taste that he goes around confessing that he has ruined
-a woman ought to go to Hell.”
-
-“You don't want him for that reason,” said God. “And you know you don't.
-You want him because you admire the idea of adultery, and think that now
-he is worthy of a place in Hell. You are rather entertained by Old Man
-Murtrie, and want him around now.”
-
-“Well,” said the Devil, “suppose I admit that is true! Have you any
-counter claim?”
-
-“Yes,” said God. “I am going to take Old Man Murtrie into Heaven. He
-knows he is not the father of the child that is going to be born, but he
-has deliberately assumed the responsibility lest it be born fatherless,
-and I think that is a noble act.”
-
-“Rubbish!” said the Devil. “That isn't the reason you want him. You want
-him because of the paternal instinct he displays. It flatters you!”
-
-“Well,” said God, “why not? The paternal instinct is another name for
-the great creative force of the universe. I have been known by many
-names in many countries... they called me Osiris, the All-Father, in
-Egypt, and they called me Jehovah in Palestine, and they called me
-Zeus and Brahm... but always they recognized me as the Father. And this
-instinct for fatherliness appeals to me. Old Man Murtrie shall come to
-Heaven.”
-
-“Such a pair as you two,” said Death, gloomily, “I never did see!
-Discuss and discuss, but never get anywhere! And all the time Old Man
-Murtrie goes on living.”
-
-And then Death added:
-
-“Why not settle this matter once and for all, right now? Why not wake
-Old Man Murtrie up and let him decide?”
-
-“Decide?” asked the Devil.
-
-“Yes,--whether he wants to go to Hell or to Heaven.”
-
-“I imagine,” said God, “that if we do that there can be no question as
-to which place he would rather go to.”
-
-“Oh, I don't know,” said the Devil. “Some people come to Hell quite
-willingly. I've been to Heaven myself, you know, and I can quite
-understand why. Are you afraid to have Old Man Murtrie make the choice?”
-
-“Wake him up, Death, wake him up,” said God. “It's unusual to allow
-people to know that they are making their own decision--though all of
-them, in a sense, do make it--but wake him up, Death, and we'll see.”
-
-So Death prodded Old Man Murtrie in the ribs, and they asked him. For a
-long time he thought it was only opium, but when he finally understood
-that it was really God and Death and the Devil who were there, and that
-it was really they who had often been there before, he was very much
-frightened. He was so frightened he couldn't choose.
-
-“I'll leave it to you, I'll leave it to you,” said Old Man Murtrie. “Who
-am I that I should set myself up to decide?”
-
-“Well,” said God, getting a little angry, perhaps, “if you don't want to
-go to Heaven, Murtrie, you don't have to. But you've been, praying to go
-to Heaven, and all that sort of thing, for seventy or eighty years, and
-I naturally thought you were in earnest. But I'm through with you... you
-can go to Hell.”
-
-“Oh! Oh! Oh!” moaned Old Man Murtrie.
-
-“No,” said the Devil, “I've changed my mind, too. My distaste for
-Murtrie has returned to me. I don't want him around. I won't have him in
-Hell.”
-
-“See here, now!” cried Death. “You two are starting it all over again.
-I won't have it, so I won't! You aren't fair to Murtrie, and you aren't
-fair to me! This matter has got to be settled, and settled to-night!”
-
-“Well, then,” said God, “settle it. I've ceased to care one way or
-another.”
-
-“I will not,” said Death, “I know my job, and I stick to my job. One of
-you two has got to settle it.”
-
-“Toss a coin,” suggested the Devil, indifferently.
-
-Death looked around for one.
-
-“There's a qu-qu-quarter in m-m-my t-t-trousers' p-p-pocket,” stammered
-Old Man Murtrie, and then stuck his head under the bedclothes and
-shivered as if he had the ague.
-
-Death picked up Murtrie's poor little weazened trousers from the floor
-at the foot of the cot, where they lay sprawled untidily, and shook them
-till the quarter dropped out.
-
-He picked it up.
-
-“Heads, he goes to Heaven. Tails, he goes to Hell,” said Death, and
-tossed the coin to the ceiling. Murtrie heard it hit the ceiling, and
-started. He heard it hit the floor, and bounce, and jingle and spin and
-roll and come to rest. And he thrust his head deeper under the covers
-and lay there quaking. He did not dare look.
-
-“Look at it, Murtrie,” said Death.
-
-“Oh! Oh! Oh!” groaned Murtrie, shaking the cot.
-
-But Death reached over and caught him by the neck and turned his face so
-that he could not help seeing. And Old Man Murtrie looked and saw that
-the coin had fallen with the side up that sent him to----
-
-But, really, why should I tell you? Go and worry about your own soul,
-and let Old Man Murtrie's alone.
-
-
-
-
-III.--Never Say Die
-
-|There seemed nothing left but suicide.
-
-But how? In what manner? By what method? Mr. Gooley lay on his bed and
-thought--or tried to think. The pain in his head, which had been there
-ever since the day after he had last eaten, prevented easy and coherent
-thought.
-
-It had been three days ago that the pain left his stomach and went into
-his head. Hunger had become a cerebral thing, he told himself. His body
-had felt hunger so long that it refused to feel it any longer; it had
-shifted the burden to his brain.
-
-“It has passed the buck to my mind, my stomach has,” murmured Mr. Gooley
-feebly. And the mind, less by the process of coherent and connected
-thought than by a sudden impulsive pounce, had grasped the idea of
-suicide.
-
-“Not with a knife,” considered Mr. Gooley. He had no knife. He had no
-money to buy a knife. He had no strength to go down the three flights
-of stairs in the cheap Brooklyn lodging house where he lay, and borrow a
-knife from the landlady who came and went vaguely in the nether regions,
-dim and damp and dismal.
-
-“Not with a knife,” repeated Mr. Gooley. And a large cockroach, which
-had been crawling along the footpiece of the old-fashioned wooden bed,
-stopped crawling at the words as if it understood, and turned about and
-looked at him.
-
-Mr. Gooley wondered painfully, for it was a pain even to wonder about
-anything, why this cockroach should remind him of somebody who was
-somehow connected with a knife, and not unpleasantly connected with a
-knife. The cockroach stood up on the hindmost pair of his six legs, and
-seemed to put his head on one side and motion with his front legs at Mr.
-Gooley.
-
-“I get you,” said Mr. Gooley, conscious that his mind was wandering from
-the point, and willing to let it wander. “I know who you are! You were
-Old Man Archibald Hammil, the hardware merchant back in Mapletown, where
-I was a kid, before you dried up and turned into a cockroach.” And Mr.
-Gooley wept a few weak tears. For old Archibald Hammil, the village
-hardware merchant, had sold him the first knife he had ever owned.
-His father had taken him into Hammil's store to buy it on his seventh
-birthday, for a present, and it had had a buckhorn handle and two
-blades. Again he saw Old Man Hammil in his dingy brown clothes, looking
-at him, with his head on one side, as this cockroach was doing. Again
-he felt his father pat him on the head, and heard him say always to
-remember to whittle _away_ from himself, never _toward_ himself. And he
-saw himself, shy and flushed and eager, a freckle-faced boy as good and
-as bad as most boys, looking up at his father and wriggling and wanting
-to thank him, and not knowing how. That was nearly forty years ago--and
-here he was, a failure and starving and------
-
-_Why_ had he wanted a knife? Yes, he remembered now! To kill himself
-with.
-
-“It's none of your damned business, Old Man Hammil,” he said to the
-cockroach, which was crawling back and forth on the footboard, and
-pausing every now and then to look at him with disapproval.
-
-Old Man Hammil had had ropes in his store, too, and guns and pistols,
-he remembered. He hadn't thought of Old Man Hammi's store in many years;
-but now he saw it, and the village street outside it, and the place
-where the stores left off on the street and the residences began, and
-berry bushes, and orchards, and clover in the grass--the random bloom,
-the little creek that bounded the town, and beyond the creek the open
-country with its waving fields of oats and rye and com. His head hurt
-him worse. He would go right back into Old Man Hammil's store and get a
-rope or a gun and end that pain.
-
-But _that_ was foolish, too. There wasn't any store. There was only Old
-Man Hammil here, shrunk to the size of a cockroach, in his rusty brown
-suit, looking at him from the footboard of the bed and telling him in
-pantomime not to kill himself.
-
-“I will too!” cried Mr. Gooley to Old Man Hammil. And he repeated, “It's
-none of _your_ damned business!”
-
-But how? Not with a knife. He had none. Not with a gun. He had none. Not
-with a rope. He had none. He thought of his suspenders. But they would
-never hold him.
-
-“Too weak, even for me,” muttered Mr. Gooley. “I have shrunk so I
-don't weigh much more than Old Man Hammil there, but even at that those
-suspenders would never do the business.”
-
-How did people kill themselves? He must squeeze his head till the pain
-let up a little, so he could think. Poison! That was it--yes, poison!
-And then he cackled out a small, dry, throaty laugh, his Adam's apple
-fluttering in his weazened throat under his sandy beard. Poison! He
-_hadn't_ any poison. He hadn't any money with which to buy poison.
-
-And then began a long, broken and miserable debate within himself. If he
-had money enough with which to buy poison, would he go and buy poison?
-Or go and buy a bowl of soup? It was some moments before Mr. Gooley
-decided.
-
-“I'd be game,” he said. “I'd buy the soup. I'd give myself that one more
-chance. I must remember while I'm killing myself, that I'm not killing
-myself because I _want_ to. I'm just doing it because I've _got_ to. I'm
-not romantic. I'm just all in. It's the end; that's all.”
-
-Old Man Hammil, on the footboard of the bed, permitted himself a series
-of gestures which Mr. Gooley construed as applause of this resolution.
-They angered Mr. Gooley, those gestures.
-
-“You shut up!” he told the cockroach, although that insect had not
-spoken, but only made signs. “This is none of your damned business, Old
-Man Hammil!”
-
-Old Man Hammil, he remembered, had always been a meddlesome old
-party--one of the village gossips, in fact. And that set him to thinking
-of Mapletown again.
-
-The mill pond near the schoolhouse would soon be freezing over, and
-the boys would be skating on it--it was getting into December. And they
-would be going into Old Man Hammil's store for skates and straps and
-heel plates and files. And he remembered his first pair of skates, and
-how his father had taught him the proper way to keep them sharp with a
-file. He and the old dad had always been pretty good pals, and----
-
-Good God! Why _should_ he be coming back to that? And to Old Man
-Hammil's store? It was that confounded cockroach there, reminding him of
-Old Man Hammil, that had done it. He wanted to die decently and quietly,
-and as quickly as might be, without thinking of all these things.
-He didn't want to lie there and die of starvation, he wanted to kill
-himself and be done with it without further misery--and it was a part
-of the ridiculous futility of his life, his baffled and broken and
-insignificant life, that he couldn't even kill himself competently--that
-he lay there suffering and ineffectual and full of self-pity, a prey to
-memories and harassing visions of the past, all mingled with youth and
-innocence and love, without the means of a quick escape. It was that
-damned cockroach, looking like Old Man Hammil, the village hardware
-merchant, that had brought back the village and his youth to him, and
-all those intolerable recollections.
-
-He took his dirty pillow and feebly menaced the cockroach. Feeble as the
-gesture was, the insect took alarm. It disappeared from the footboard
-of the bed. A minute later, however, he saw it climbing the wall. It
-reached the ceiling, and crawled to the center of the room. Mr. Goo-ley
-watched it. He felt as if he, too, could crawl along the ceiling. He had
-the crazy notion of trying. After all, he told himself light-headedly,
-Old Cockroach Hammil up there on the ceiling had been friendly--the only
-friendly thing, human or otherwise, that had made overtures to him in
-many, many months. And he had scared Cockroach Hammil away! He shed some
-more maudlin tears.
-
-What was the thing doing now? He watched as the insect climbed on to
-the gas pipe that came down from the ceiling. It descended the rod and
-perched itself on the gas jet. From this point of vantage it began once
-more to regard Mr. Gooley with a singular intentness.
-
-Ah! Gas! That was it! What a fool he had been not to think of it sooner!
-That was the way people killed themselves! Gas!
-
-Mr. Gooley got himself weakly out of bed. He would get the thing over as
-quickly as possible now. It would be damnably unpleasant before he lost
-consciousness, no doubt, and painful. But likely not more unpleasant and
-painful than his present state. And he simply could not bear any more of
-those recollections, any more visions.
-
-He turned his back on the cockroach, which was watching him from the
-gas jet, and went methodically to work. The window rattled; between the
-upper and lower sashes there was a crevice a quarter of an inch wide. He
-plugged it with paper. There was a break in the wall of his closet; the
-plaster had fallen away, and a chink allowed the cockroaches from his
-room easy access to the closet of the adjoining room. He plugged that
-also, and was about to turn his attention to the keyhole, when there
-came a knock on his door.
-
-Mr. Gooley's first thought was: “What can any one want with a dead man?”
- For he looked upon himself as already dead. There came a second knock,
-more peremptory than the first, and he said mechanically, “Come in!” It
-would have to be postponed a few minutes, that was all.
-
-The door opened, and in walked his landlady. She was a tall and bulky
-and worried-looking woman, who wore a faded blond wig that was always
-askew, and Mr. Gooley was afraid of her. Her wig was more askew than
-usual when she entered, and he gathered from this that she was angry
-about something--why the devil must she intrude her trivial mundane
-anger upon himself, a doomed man? It was not seemly.
-
-“Mr. Gooley,” she began severely, without preamble, “I have always
-looked on you as a gentleman.”
-
-“Yes?” he murmured dully.
-
-“But you ain't,” she continued. “You ain't no better than a cheat.”
-
-He shrugged his shoulders patiently. He supposed that she was right
-about it. He owed her three weeks' room rent, and he was going to die
-and beat her out of it. But he couldn't help it.
-
-“It ain't the room rent,” she went on, as if vaguely cognizant of the
-general trend of his thoughts. “It ain't the room rent alone. You either
-pay me that or you don't pay me that, and if you don't, out you go. But
-while you are here, you must conduct yourself as a gentleman should!”
-
-“Well,” murmured Mr. Gooley, “haven't I?”
-
-And the cockroach, perched on the gas jet above the landlady's head, and
-apparently listening to this conversation, moved several of his legs, as
-if in surprise.
-
-“You have not!” said the landlady, straightening her wig.
-
-“What have I done, Mrs. Hinkley?” asked Mr. Gooley humbly. And Old
-Cockroach Hammil from his perch also made signs of inquiry.
-
-“What have you done! What have you done!” cried Mrs. Hinkley. “As if the
-man didn't know what he had done I You've been stealin' my gas, that's
-what you have been doin'--stealin', I say, and there's no other word for
-it!”
-
-Mr. Gooley started guiltily. He had not been stealing her gas, but it
-came over him with a shock for the first time that that was what he
-had, in effect, been planning to do. The cockroach, as if it also felt
-convicted of sin, gave the gas jet a glance of horror and moved up the
-rod to the ceiling, where it continued to listen.
-
-“Stealin'!” repeated Mrs. Hinkley. “That's what it is, nothin' else
-but stealin'. You don't ever stop to think when you use one of them gas
-plates to cook in your room, Mr. Gooley--which it is expressly forbid
-and agreed on that no cooking shall be done in these rooms when they're
-rented to you--that it's my gas you're using, and that I have to pay for
-it, and that it's just as much stealin' as if you was to put your hand
-into my pocket-book and take my money!”
-
-“Cooking? Gas plate?” muttered Mr. Gooley. “Don't say you ain't got
-one!” cried Mrs. Hinkley. “You all got 'em! Every last one of you! Don't
-you try to come none of your sweet innocence dodges over me. I know
-you, and the whole tribe of you! I ain't kept lodgers for thirty years
-without knowing the kind of people they be! 'Gas plate! Gas plate!' says
-you, as innocent as if you didn't know what a gas plate was! You got it
-hid here somewheres, and I ain't going to stir from this room until I
-get my hands on it and squash it under my feet! Come across with it, Mr.
-Gooley, come across with it!”
-
-“But I _haven't_ one,” said Mr. Gooley, very ill and very weary. “You
-can look, if you want to.”
-
-And he lay back upon the bed. The cockroach slyly withdrew himself from
-the ceiling, came down the wall, and crawled to the foot of the bed
-again. If Mrs. Hinkley noticed him, she said nothing; perhaps it was not
-a part of her professional policy to draw attention to cockroaches on
-the premises. She stood and regarded Mr. Gooley for some moments, while
-he turned his head away from her in apathy. Her first anger seemed to
-have spent itself. But finally, with a new resolution, she said: “And
-look I will! You got one, or else that blondined party in the next room
-has lied.”
-
-She went into the closet and he heard her opening his trunk. She pulled
-it into the bedroom and examined the interior. It didn't take long. She
-dived under the bed and drew out his battered suitcase, so dilapidated
-that he had not been able to get a quarter for it at the pawnshop, but
-no more dilapidated than his trunk.
-
-She seemed struck, for the first time since her entrance, with the utter
-bareness of the room. Outside of the bed, one chair, the bureau, and
-Mr. Cooley's broken shoes at the foot of the bed, there was absolutely
-nothing in it.
-
-She sat down in the chair beside the bed. “Mr. Gooley,” she said, “you
-_ain't_ got any gas plate.”
-
-“No,” he said.
-
-“Mr. Gooley,” she said, “you got _nothing at all._
-
-“No,” he said, “nothing.”
-
-“You had a passel of books and an overcoat five or six weeks ago,” she
-said, “when you come here. It was seein' them books, and knowing what
-you was four or five years ago, when you lived here once before, that
-made me sure you was a gentleman.”
-
-Mr. Gooley made no reply. The cockroach on the foot of the bed also
-seemed to be listening to see if Mrs. Hinkley had anything more to say,
-and suspending judgment.
-
-“Mr. Gooley,” said the landlady, “I beg your pardon. You was lied on by
-one that has a gas plate herself, and when I taxed her with it, and took
-it away from her, and got rid of her, she had the impudence to say she
-thought it was _allowed_, and that everybody done it, and named you as
-one that did.”
-
-Mrs. Hinkley paused, but neither Mr. Gooley nor the cockroach had
-anything to contribute to the conversation.
-
-“Gas,” continued Mrs. Hinkley, “is gas. And gas costs money. I hadn't
-orter jumped on you the way I did, Mr. Gooley, but gas plates has got
-to be what you might call corns on my brain, Mr. Gooley. They're my
-sensitive spot, Mr. Gooley. If I was to tell you the half of what I have
-had to suffer from gas plates during the last thirty years, Mr. Gooley,
-you wouldn't believe it! There's them that will cheat you one way and
-there's them that will cheat you another, but the best of them will
-cheat you with gas plates, Mr. Gooley. With the exception of yourself,
-Mr. Gooley, I ain't had a lodger in thirty years that wouldn't rob me
-on the gas. Some don't think it's stealin', Mr. Gooley, when they steal
-gas. And some of 'em don't care if it is. But there ain't none of 'em
-ever thinks what a _landlady_ goes through with, year in and year out.”
-
-She paused for a moment, and then, overcome with self-pity, she began to
-sniffle.
-
-“And my rent's been raised on me again, Mr. Gooley! And I'm a month
-behind! And if I ain't come across with the two months, the old month
-and the new, by day after to-morrow, out I goes; and it means the
-poorhouse as fur as I can see, because I don't know anything else but
-keeping lodgers, and I got no place to go!”
-
-She gathered her apron up and wiped her eyes and nose with it. The
-cockroach on the footboard wiped his front set of feet across his face
-sympathetically.
-
-“I got it all ready but fifteen dollars,” continued Mrs. Hinkley, “and
-then in comes the gas bill this morning with _arrears_ onto it. It is
-them _arrears_, Mr. Gooley, that always knocks me out! If it wasn't for
-them arrears, I could get along. And now I got to pay out part of the
-rent money onto the gas bill, with them arrears on it, or the gas will
-be shut off this afternoon.”
-
-The pain in Mr. Gooley's head was getting worse. He wished she would go.
-He hated hearing her troubles. But she continued:
-
-“It's the way them arrears come onto the bill, Mr. Gooley, that has got
-me sore. About a week before you come here again to live, Mr. Gooley,
-there was a fellow stole fifteen dollars worth of my gas all at once. He
-went and killed himself, Mr. Gooley, and he used my gas to do it with.
-It leaked out of two jets for forty-eight hours up on the top floor,
-before the door was busted in and the body was found, and it came
-to fifteen dollars, and all on account of that man's cussedness, Mr.
-Gooley, I will likely get turned out into the street, and me sixty years
-old and no place to turn.”
-
-Mr. Gooley sat up in bed feebly and looked at her. She _was_ in real
-trouble--in about as much trouble as he was. The cockroach walked
-meditatively up and down the footboard, as if thinking it over very
-seriously.
-
-Mrs. Hinkley finally rose.
-
-“Mr. Gooley,” she said, regarding him sharply, “you look kind o' done
-up!”
-
-“Uh-huh,” said Mr. Gooley.
-
-She lingered in the room for a few seconds more, irresolutely, and then
-departed.
-
-Mr. Gooley thought. Gas was barred to him now. He couldn't bring himself
-to do it with gas. There was still a chance that the old woman might
-get hold of the gas money and the rent money, too, and go on for a few
-years, but if he selfishly stole twelve or fifteen dollars' worth of gas
-from her this afternoon it might be just the thing that would plunge her
-into immediate destitution. At any rate, it was, as she had said, like
-stealing money from her pocketbook. He thought of what her life as a
-rooming-house keeper must have been, and pitied her. He had known many
-rooming houses. The down-and-outers know how to gauge the reality and
-poignancy of the troubles of the down-and-out. No, he simply could not
-do it with gas.
-
-He must think of some other method. He was on the fourth floor. He might
-throw himself out of the window onto the brick walk at the back of the
-building, and die. He shuddered as he thought of it. To jump from a
-twentieth story, or from the top of the Woolworth Tower, to a certain
-death is one thing. To contemplate a fall of three or four stories that
-may maim you without killing you, is another.
-
-Nevertheless, he would do it. He pulled the paper out of the crevice
-between the window sashes, opened the window and looked down. He saw the
-back stoop and there was a dirty mop beside it; there was an ash can,
-and there were two garbage cans there. And there was a starved cat that
-sat and looked up at him. He had a tremor and drew back and covered his
-face with his hands as he thought of that cat--that knowing cat, that
-loathsome, that obscene cat.
-
-He sat down on the edge of the bed to collect his strength and summon
-his resolution. The cockroach had crawled to the head of the bed and
-seemed to wish to partake of his thoughts.
-
-“Damn you, Old Archibald Hammil!” he cried. And he scooped the cockroach
-into his hand with a sudden sweep and flung it out of the window. The
-insect fell without perceptible discomfort, and at once began to climb
-up the outside wall again, making for the window.
-
-The door opened and Mrs. Hinkley entered, her face cleft with a grin,
-and a tray in her hands.
-
-“Mr. Gooley,” she said, setting it on the wash-stand, “I'll bet you
-ain't had nothing to eat today!”
-
-On the tray was a bowl of soup, a half loaf of bread with a long keen
-bread knife, a pat of butter, a boiled egg and a cup of coffee.
-
-“No, nor yesterday, either,” said Mr. Gooley, and he looked at the soup
-and at the long keen bread knife.
-
-“Here's something else I want to show you, Mr. Gooley,” said the
-landlady, dodging out of the door and back in again instantly. She bore
-in her hands this time a surprising length of flexible gas tubing, and a
-small nickel-plated pearl-handled revolver.
-
-“You see that there gas tubing?” she said.
-
-“That is what that blondined party in the next room had on to her gas
-plate--the nerve of her! Strung from the gas jet clear across the room
-to the window sill. And when I throwed her out, Mr. Gooley, she wouldn't
-pay her rent, and I took this here revolver to part pay it. What kind of
-a woman is it, Mr. Gooley, that has a revolver in her room, and a loaded
-one, too?”
-
-Just then the doorbell rang in the dim lower regions, and she left the
-room to answer it.
-
-And Mr. Gooley sat and looked at the knife, with which he might so
-easily stab himself, and at the gas cord, with which he might so easily
-hang himself, and at the loaded revolver, with which he might so easily
-shoot himself.
-
-He looked also at the bowl of soup.
-
-He had the strength to reflect--a meal is a meal. But _after_ that meal,
-what? Penniless, broken in health, friendless, a failure--why prolong it
-for another twenty-four hours? A meal would prolong it, but that was
-all a meal _would_ do--and after that would come the suffering and the
-despair and the end to be faced all over again.
-
-Was he man enough to take the pistol and do it now?
-
-Or did true manhood lie the other way? Was he man enough to drink the
-soup, and dare to live and hope?
-
-Just then the cockroach, which had climbed into the window and upon the
-washstand, made for the bowl of soup.
-
-“Here!” cried Mr. Gooley, grabbing the bowl in both hands, “Old Man
-Hammil! Get away from that soup!”
-
-And the bowl being in his hands, he drank.
-
-“What do you mean by Old Man Hammil?”
-
-It was Mrs. Hinkley who spoke. She stood again in the doorway, with a
-letter in her hands and a look of wonder on her face.
-
-Mr. Gooley set down the soup bowl. By an effort of the will he had
-only drunk half the liquid. He had heard somewhere that those who are
-suffering from starvation had better go slow at first when they get hold
-of food again. And he already felt better, warmed and resurrected, from
-the first gulp.
-
-“What,” demanded the landlady, “do you mean by yelling out about Old Man
-Hammil?”
-
-“Why,” said Mr. Gooley, feeling foolish, and looking it, “I was talking
-to that cockroach there. He looks sort of like some one I knew when I
-was a kid, by the name of Hammil--Archibald Hammil.”
-
-“_Where_ was you a kid?” asked Mrs. Hinkley.
-
-“In a place called Mapletown--Mapletown, Illinois,” said Mr. Gooley.
-“There's where I knew Old Man Hammil.”
-
-“Well,” said the landlady, “when you go back there you won't see him.
-He's dead. He died a week ago. This letter tells it. I was his niece.
-And the old man went and left me his hardware store. I never expected
-it. But all his kids is dead--it seems he outlived 'em all, and he was
-nearly ninety when he passed away.”
-
-“Well,” said Mr. Gooley, “I don't remember you.”
-
-“You wouldn't,” said the landlady. “You must have been in short pants
-when I ran away from home and married the hardware drummer. But I'll bet
-you the old-timers in that burg still remembers it against me!”
-
-“The kids will be coming into that store about now to get their skates
-sharpened,” said Mr. Gooley, looking at the boiled egg.
-
-“Uh-huh!” said Mrs. Hinkley. “Don't you want to go back home and help
-sharpen 'em? I'm goin' back and run that there store, and I'll need a
-clerk, I suppose.”
-
-“Uh-huh,” said Mr. Gooley, breaking the eggshell.
-
-The cockroach, busy with a crumb on the floor, waved his three starboard
-legs genially at Mr. Gooley and Mrs. Hinkley--as if, in fact, he were
-winking with his feet.
-
-
-
-
-IV.--McDermott
-
-|McDermott had gone over with a cargo of mules. The animals were
-disembarked at a Channel port, received by officers of that grand
-organization which guesses right so frequently, the Quartermaster Corps,
-and started in a southerly direction, in carload lots, toward the Toul
-sector of the Western Front. McDermott went with one of the carloads
-in an unofficial capacity. He had no business in the war zone. But the
-Quartermaster Corps, or that part of it in charge of his particular car,
-was in no mood to be harsh toward any one who seemed to understand the
-wants and humors of mules and who was willing to associate with them.
-And so, with his blue overalls and his red beard, McDermott went along.
-
-“I'll have a look at the war,” said McDermott, “and if I like it, I'll
-jine it.”
-
-“And if you don't like it,” said the teamster to whom he confided his
-intention, “I reckon you'll stop it?”
-
-“I dunno,” replied McDermott, “as I would be justified in stoppin' a
-good war. The McDermotts has niver been great hands f'r stoppin' wars.
-The McDermotts is always more like to be startin' wars.”
-
-McDermott got a look at the war sooner than any one, including the high
-command of the Entente Allies, would have thought likely--or, rather,
-the war got a look at McDermott. The carload of mules, separated from
-its right and proper train, got too far eastward at just the time
-the Germans got too far westward. It was in April, 1918, that, having
-entered Hazebrouck from the north, McDermott and his mules left it
-again, bound eastward. They passed through a turmoil of guns and
-lorries, Scotchmen and ambulances, Englishmen, tanks and ammunition
-wagons, Irishmen, colonials and field kitchens, all moving slowly
-eastward, and came to a halt at a little village where they should not
-have been at all, halfway between the northern rim of the forest of
-Nieppe and Bailleul.
-
-The mules did not stay there long.
-
-“I'll stretch me legs a bit,” said McDermott, climbing off the car
-and strolling toward a Grande Place surrounded by sixteenth-century
-architecture. And just then something passed over the Renaissance roofs
-with the scream of one of Dante's devils, struck McDermott's car of
-mules with a great noise and a burst of flame, and straightway created a
-situation in which there was neither car nor mules.
-
-For a minute it seemed to McDermott that possibly there was no
-McDermott, either. When McDermott regained consciousness of McDermott,
-he was sitting on the ground, and he sat there and felt of himself for
-many seconds before he spoke or rose. Great guns he had been hearing for
-hours, and a rattle and roll of small-arms fire had been getting nearer
-all that day; but it seemed to McDermott that there was something quite
-vicious and personal about the big shell that had separated him forever
-from his mules. Not that he had loved the mules, but he loved McDermott.
-
-“Mules,” said he, still sitting on the ground, but trying to get his
-philosophy of life on to its legs again, “is here wan minute an' gawn
-the nixt. Mules is fickle an' untrustworthy animals. Here was thim
-mules, wigglin' their long ears and arsk-in' f'r Gawd's sake c'u'd they
-have a dhrink of wather, an' promisin' a lifelong friendship--but where
-is thim mules now?”
-
-He scratched his red head as he spoke, feeling-of an old scar under the
-thick thatch of hair. The wound had been made some years previously
-with a bung starter, and whenever McDermott was agitated he caressed it
-tenderly.
-
-He got up, turned about and regarded the extraordinary Grande Place.
-There had once been several pretty little shops about it, he could see,
-with pleasant courtyards, where the April sun was trying to bring green
-things into life again, but now some of these were in newly made and
-smoking ruins. The shell that had stricken McDermott's mules from the
-roster of existence had not been the only one to fall into the village
-recently.
-
-But it was neither old ruins nor new ruins that interested McDermott
-chiefly. It was the humanity that flowed through the Grande Place in a
-feeble trickle westward, and the humanity that stayed there.
-
-Women and old men went by with household treasures slung in bundles or
-pushed before them in carts and perambulators, and they were wearing
-their best clothes, as if they were going to some village fête, instead
-of into desolation and homelessness; the children whom they carried, or
-who straggled after them, were also in their holiday best. Here was an
-ancient peasant with a coop of skinny chickens on a barrow; there was a
-girl in a silk gown carrying something in a bed quilt; yonder was a boy
-of twelve on a bicycle, and two things were tied to the handlebars--a
-loaf of bread and a soldier's bayonet. Perhaps it had been his father's
-bayonet. Quietly they went westward; their lips were dumb and their
-faces showed their souls were dumb, too. A long time they had heard the
-battle growling to the eastward; and now the war was upon them. It was
-upon them, indeed; for as McDermott gazed, another shell struck full
-upon a bell-shaped tower that stood at the north side of the Grande
-Place and it leaped up in flames and fell in dust and ruin, all gone but
-one irregular point of masonry that still stuck out like a snaggle tooth
-from a trampled skull.
-
-These were the ones that were going, and almost the last of the
-dreary pageant disappeared as McDermott watched. But those who stayed
-astonished him even more by their strange actions and uncouth postures.
-
-“Don't tell me,” mumbled McDermott, rubbing his scar, “that all thim
-sojers is aslape!”
-
-But asleep they were. To the east and to the north the world was one rip
-and rat-a-tat of rifle and machine-gun fire--how near, McDermott could
-not guess--and over the village whined and droned the shells, of
-great or lesser caliber; here was one gate to a hell of noise, and the
-buildings stirred and the budding vines in the courtyards moved and
-the dust itself was agitated with the breath and blast of far and near
-concussions; but yet the big open Place itself was held in the grip of a
-grotesque and incredible slumber.
-
-Sprawled in the gutters, collapsed across the doorsills, leaning against
-the walls, slept that portion of the British army; slept strangely,
-without snoring. In the middle of the Grande Place there was a young
-lieutenant bending forward across the wreck of a motor car; he had tried
-to pluck forth a basket from the tonneau and sleep had touched him with
-his fingers on the handle. And from the eastern fringes of the village
-there entered the square, as actors enter upon a stage, a group of
-a dozen men, with their arms linked together, swaying and dazed and
-stumbling. At first McDermott thought that wounded were being helped
-from the field. But these men were not wounded; they were walking in
-their sleep, and the group fell apart, as McDermott looked at them, and
-sank severally to the cobblestones. Scotchmen, Canadians, English, torn
-and battered remnants of many different commands, they had striven with
-their guns and bodies for more than a week to dam the vast, rising wave
-of the German attack--day melting into night and night burning into day
-again, till there was no such thing as time to them any longer; there
-were but two things in the world, battle and weariness, weariness and
-battle.
-
-McDermott moved across the square unchallenged. He had eaten and slept
-but little for two days himself, and he made instinctively for the open
-door of an empty inn, to search for food. In the doorway he stumbled
-across a lad who roused and spoke to him.
-
-“Jack,” said the boy, looking at him with red eyes out of an old, worn
-face, “have you got the makin's?”
-
-He was in a ragged and muddied Canadian uniform, but McDermott guessed
-that he was an American.
-
-“I have that,” said McDermott, producing papers and tobacco. But the boy
-had lapsed into slumber again. McDermott rolled the cigarette for him,
-placed it between his lips, waked him and lighted it for him.
-
-The boy took a puff or two, and then said dreamily: “And what the hell
-are you doin' here with them blue overalls on?”
-
-“I come to look at the war,” said McDermott.
-
-The soldier glanced around the Grande Place, and a gleam of deviltry
-flashed through his utter exhaustion. “So you come to see the war, huh?
-Well, don't you wake it now. It's restin'. But if you'll take a chair
-and set down, I'll have it--called--for--you--in--in--in 'n 'our--or
-so------”
-
-His voice tailed off into sleep once more; he mangled the cigarette, the
-tobacco mingling with the scraggly beard about his drawn mouth; his head
-fell forward upon his chest. McDermott stepped past him into the Hôtel
-Faucon, as the inn had called itself. He found no food, but he found
-liquor there.
-
-“Frinch booze,” said McDermott, getting the cork out of a bottle of
-brandy and sniffing it; “but booze is booze!”
-
-And more booze is more booze, especially upon an empty stomach. It was
-after the fourth drink that McDermott pulled his chair up to one of the
-open windows of the inn and sat down, with the brandy beside him.
-
-“I'm neglictin' that war I come all this way to see,” said McDermott.
-
-The Grande Place, still shaken by the tremendous and unceasing
-pulsations of battle, far and near, was beginning to wake up. A fresh,
-or, at least, a fresher, battalion was arriving over the spur line of
-railroad along which McDermott's mules had been so mistakenly shunted,
-and was moving eastward through the town to the firing line. The men
-whom McDermott had seen asleep were rising at the word of command;
-taking their weapons, falling in, and staggering back to the
-interminable battle once more.
-
-“I dunno,” mused McDermott, as the tired men straggled past, “whether I
-want to be afther j'inin' that war or not. It makes all thim lads that
-slapey! I dunno phwat the devil it is, the Frinch booze bein' so close
-to me, inside, or that war so close to me, outside, but I'm gittin'
-slapey m'silf.”
-
-It was, likely, the brandy. There had not been a great deal of French
-brandy in McDermott's previous experience, and he did not stint himself.
-It was somewhere between the ninth and the fifteenth swallows of it that
-McDermott remarked to himself, rubbing the scar on his head:
-
-“I w'u'd jine that war now, if I c'u'd be sure which way it had wint!”
-
-And then he slid gently out of his chair and went to sleep on the floor
-just inside the open window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
-
-The war crept closer and took another look at McDermott. As the warm
-golden afternoon waned, the British troops, fighting like fiends for
-every inch of ground, exacting a ghastly toll of lives from the Germans,
-were forced back into the eastern outskirts of the town. There, with
-rifle and machine gun, from walls, trees, courtyards, roofs and ruins,
-they held the advancing Germans for an hour. But they were pushed back
-again, doggedly establishing themselves in the houses of the Grande
-Place. Neither British nor Germans were dropping shells into that
-village now, each side fearful of damaging its own men.
-
-A British subaltern with a machine gun and two private soldiers entered
-the inn and were setting the gun up at McDermott's window when a
-German bullet struck the officer and he fell dead across the slumbering
-McDermott. Nevertheless, the gun was manned and fought for half an hour
-above McDermott, who stirred now and then, but did not waken. Just at
-dusk an Irish battalion struck the Germans on the right flank of their
-assaulting force, a half mile to the north of the village, rolled them
-back temporarily, and cleared the village of them. This counter attack
-took the firing line a good thousand yards eastward once more.
-
-McDermott roused, crawled from beneath the body of the British officer,
-and viewed it with surprise. “That war has been here ag'in an' me
-aslape,” said McDermott. “I might jine that war if I c'u'd ketch up wid
-it--but 'tis here, 'tis there, 'tis gawn ag'in! An' how c'u'd I jine it
-wid no weapons, not even a good thick club to m' hands?”
-
-He foraged and found a piece of sausage that he had overlooked in his
-former search, ate it greedily and then stood in the doorway, listening
-to the sound of the firing. It was getting dark and northward toward
-Messines and Wytschaete and southward for more miles than he could guess
-the lightning of big guns flickered along the sky.
-
-“Anny way I w'u'd go,” mused McDermott, “I w'u'd run into that war if I
-was thryin' to dodge ut. And anny wray I w'u'd go, I w'u'd miss that war
-if I was thryin' to come up wid ut. An' till I make up me mind which wan
-I want to do, here will I sthay.”
-
-He opened another bottle of brandy, and drank and cogitated. Whether it
-was the cogitation or the drinks or the effect of the racket of war, his
-head began to ache dully. When McDermott's scar ached, it was his custom
-to take another drink. After a while there came a stage at which, if it
-still ached, he at least ceased to feel it aching any more.
-
-“The hotel here,” he remarked, “is filled wid hospitality and midical
-tratement, and where bet-ther c'u'd I be?”
-
-And presently, once more, a deep sleep overtook him. A deeper, more
-profound sleep, indeed, than his former one. And this time the war came
-still nearer to McDermott.
-
-The British were driven back again and again occupied the town, the
-Germans in close pursuit. From house to house and from wall to wall
-the struggle went on, with grenade, rifle and bayonet. A German, with
-a Scotchman's steel in his chest, fell screaming, back through the open
-window, and his blood as he died soaked McDermott's feet. But McDermott
-slept. Full night came, thick and cloudy, and both sides sent up
-floating flares. The square was strewn with the bodies of the dead and
-the bodies of the maimed in increasing numbers; the wounded groaned and
-whimpered in the shadows of the trampled Place, crawling, if they still
-could crawl, to whatever bit of broken wall seemed to offer momentary
-shelter and praying for the stretcher bearers to be speedy. But still
-McDermott slept.
-
-At ten o'clock that night two Englishmen once more brought a machine gun
-into the Hôtel Fauçon; they worked the weapon for twenty minutes from
-the window within ten feet of which McDermott now lay with his brandy
-bottle beside him. Once McDermott stirred; he sat up sleepily on the
-floor and murmured: “An' where is that war now? Begad, an' I don't
-belave there is anny war!”
-
-And he rolled over and went to sleep again. The men with the machine gun
-did not notice him; they were too busy. A moment later one of them sank
-with a bullet through his heart. His comrade lasted a little longer, and
-then he, too, went down, a wound in his lungs. It took him some weary
-minutes to choke and bleed to death, there in that dark place, upon the
-floor, among the dead men and McDermott's brandy bottles and the heap
-of ammunition he had brought with him. Hist struggle did not wake
-McDermott.
-
-By midnight the British had been driven back until they held the houses
-at the west end of the town and the end of the spur railroad that came
-eastward from Hazebrouck. The Germans were in the eastern part of the
-village, and between was a “no man's land,” of which the Grande Place
-was a part. What was left of the Hôtel Faucon, with the sleeping
-McDermott in it, was toward the middle of the south side of the square.
-In the streets to the north and south of the Place patrols still clashed
-with grenade and bayonet and rifle, but the Germans attempted no further
-advance in any force after midnight. No doubt they were bringing up more
-men; no doubt, with the first morning light, they would move forward a
-regiment or two, possibly even a division, against the British who
-still clung stubbornly to the western side of the town. All the way from
-Wytschaete south to Givenchy the battle-line was broken up into many
-little bitter struggles of this sort, the British at every point facing
-great odds.
-
-When dawn came, there came with it a mist. And three men of a German
-patrol, creeping from house to house and ruin to ruin along the south
-side of that part of “no man's land” which was the Grande Place, entered
-the open door of the Hôtel Fauçon.
-
-One of them stepped upon McDermott's stomach, where he lay sleeping and
-dreaming of the war he had come to look at.
-
-McDermott, when he had been drinking, was often cross. And especially
-was he cross if, when sleeping off his liquor, some one purposely or
-inadvertently interfered with his rightful and legitimate rest. When
-this coarse and heavy-footed intruder set his boot, albeit unwittingly,
-upon McDermott's stomach, McDermott sat up with a bellow of rage,
-instinctively and instantaneously grabbed the leg attached to the boot,
-rose as burning rocks rise from a volcano, with the leg in his hands,
-upset the man attached to the leg, and jumped with two large feet
-accurately upon the back of that person's neck. Whereupon the Boche went
-to Valhalla. McDermott, though nearer fifty than forty years old, was a
-barroom fighter of wonderful speed and technique, and this instinctive
-and spontaneous maneuver was all one motion, just as it is all one
-motion when a cat in a cellar leaps over a sack of potatoes, lands upon
-a rat, and sinks her teeth into a vital spot. The second German and
-the third German hung back an instant toward the door, and then came
-on toward the moving shadow in the midst of shadows. For their own good
-they should have come on without hanging back that second; but perhaps
-their training, otherwise so efficient, did not include barroom tactics.
-Their hesitation gave McDermott just the time he needed, for when he
-faced them he had the first German's gun in his hands.
-
-“No war,” said McDermott, “can come into me slapin' chamber and stand on
-me stomach like that, and expict me to take it peaceful!”
-
-With the words he fired the first German's rifle into the second
-German. The third German, to the rear of the second one, fired his gun
-simultaneously, but perhaps he was a hit flurried, for he also fired
-directly into the second German, and there was nothing the second German
-could do but die; which he did at once. McDermott leaped at the third
-German with his rifle clubbed just as the man pressed the trigger again.
-The bullet struck McDermott's rifle, splintered the butt of it and
-knocked it from his hands; but a second later McDermott's hands were on
-the barrel of the German's gun and the two of them were struggling for
-it.
-
-There is one defect in the German military system, observers say: the
-drill masters do not teach their men independent thinking; perhaps the
-drill-masters do not have the most promising material to work upon.
-At any rate, it occurred to McDermott to kick the third German in the
-stomach while the third German was still thinking of nothing else than
-trying to depress the gun to shoot or bayonet McDermott. Thought and
-kick were as well coordinated as if they had proceeded from one of
-McDermott's late mules.
-
-The Boche went to the floor of the Hôtel Faucon with a groan. “Gott!” he
-said.
-
-“A stomach f'r a stomach,” said Mc-Dermott, standing over him with the
-rifle. “Git up!”
-
-The German painfully arose.
-
-“Ye are me prisoner,” said McDermott, “an' the furst wan I iver took.
-Hould up y'r hands! Hould thim up, I say! Not over y'r stomach, man, but
-over y'r head!”
-
-The Boche complied hurriedly.
-
-“I see ye understhand United States,” said McDermott. “I was afraid ye
-might not, an' I w'u'd have to shoot ye.”
-
-“_Kamerad!_” exclaimed the man.
-
-“Ye are no comrade av mine,” said McDermott, peering at the man's face
-through the eery halflight of early morning, “an' comrade av mine ye
-niver was! I know ye well! Ye are Goostave Schmidt b' name, an' wanst ye
-tinded bar in a dive down b' the Brooklyn wather front!”
-
-The man stared at McDermott in silence for a long minute, and then
-recollection slowly came to him.
-
-“MagDermodd!” he said. “Batrick MagDermodd!”
-
-“The same,” said McDermott.
-
-“_Gott sei dank!_” said the German. “I haf fallen into der hands of
-a friend.” And with the beginning of a smile he started to lower his
-hands.
-
-“Put thim up!” cried McDermott. “Don't desave y'silf! Ye are no fri'nd
-av mine!”
-
-The smile faded, and something like a look of panic took its place on
-the German's face.
-
-“Th' last time I saw ye, ye was in bad company, f'r ye was alone,” said
-McDermott. “An' I come over here lookin' f'r ye, an' I find ye in bad
-company ag'in!”
-
-“Looking?” said the German with quite sincere perplexity. “You gome here
-_looking_ for me?”
-
-The wonder on the man's face at this unpremeditated jest of his having
-crossed the Atlantic especially to look for Gustave Schmidt titillated
-McDermott's whole being. But he did not laugh, and he let the German
-wonder. “And phwy sh'u'd I not?” he said.
-
-The German thought intensely for a while. “Why _should_ you gome all der
-vay agross der Adlandic looking for _me?_” he said finally.
-
-“Ye have a short mimory,” said McDermott. “Ye do not recollict the time
-ye hit me on the head wid a bung starter whin I was too soused to defind
-m'silf? The scar is there yet, bad luck to ye!”
-
-“But dot was nudding,” said the German. “Dot bung-starder business was
-all a bart of der day's vork.”
-
-“But ye cript up behint me,” said McDermott; “an' me soused!”
-
-“But dot was der bractical vay to do it,” said the German. “Dot was
-nuddings at all, dot bung-starder business. I haf forgodden it long
-ago!”
-
-“The McDermotts remimber thim compliments longer,” said McDermott. “An'
-b' rights I sh'u'd give ye wan good clout wid this gun and be done wid
-ye. But I'm thinkin' I may be usin' ye otherwise.”
-
-“You gome all der vay agross der Adlandic yoost because I hit you on der
-head mit a bung starder?” persisted the German, still wondering. “Dot,
-MagDermodd, I cannot belief--_Nein!_”
-
-“And ye tore up y'r citizenship papers and come all the way across
-the Atlantic just to jine this gang av murtherin' child-killers,” said
-McDermott. “That I c'n belave! Yis!”
-
-“But I haf not dorn up my American cidizen papers--_Nein!_” exclaimed
-the German, earnestly. “Dose I haf kept. I gome across to fight for mein
-Faderland--dot vas orders. _Ja!_ But mein American cidizenship papers I
-haf kept, and ven der war is ofer I shall go back to Brooklyn and once
-more an American citizen be, undill der next war. _Ja!_ You haf not
-understood, but dot is der vay of it. _Ja!_”
-
-“Goostave,” said McDermott, “ye have too many countries workin' f'r ye.
-But y'r takin' ordhers from m'silf now--do ye get that? C'n ye play that
-musical insthrumint there by the window?”
-
-“_Ja!_” said Gustave. “Dot gun I can vork. Dot is der Lewis machine gun.
-Id is not so good a gun as our machine gun, for our machine gun haf been
-a colossal sugcess, but id is a goot gun.”
-
-“Ye been fightin' f'r the Kaiser f'r three or four years, Goostave,”
- said McDermott, menacing him with his rifle, “but this mornin' I'll be
-afther seein' that ye do a bit av work f'r thim citizenship papers, an',
-later, ye can go to hell, if ye like, an' naturalize y'rsilf in still a
-third country. Ye will shoot Germans wid that gun till I get the hang
-av the mechanism m'silf. And thin I will shoot Germans wid that gun. But
-furst, ye will give me that fancy tin soup-bowl ye're wearin'.”
-
-Gustave handed over his helmet. McDermott put it on his red head.
-
-“I've been thinkin',” said McDermott, “will I jine this war, or will I
-not jine it. An' the only way ye c'n tell do ye like a thing or do ye
-not is to thry it wance. Wid y'r assistance, Goostave, I'll thry it this
-mornin', if anny more av it comes my way.”
-
-More of it was coming his way. The Germans, tired of trifling with the
-small British force which held the village, had brought up the better
-part of a division during the night and were marshaling the troops for
-their favorite feat of arms, an overwhelming frontal attack _en masse_.
-The British had likewise received reinforcements, drawing from the north
-and from the south every man the hard-pressed lines could spare. But
-they were not many, perhaps some three thousand men in all, to resist
-the massed assault, with the railroad for its objective, which would
-surely come with dawn. If troops were needed in the village they were
-no less needed on the lines that flanked it. The little town, which
-had been the scene of so much desperate skirmishing the day before and
-during the first half of the night, was now about to become the ground
-of something like a battle.
-
-“There's a French division on the way,” said the British colonel in
-command in the village to one of his captains. “If we can only hold them
-for an hour----”
-
-He did not finish the sentence. As he spoke the German bombardment,
-precedent to the infantry attack, began to comb the western fringes
-of the town and the railroad line behind, searching for the
-hurriedly-digged and shallow trenches, the improvised dugouts, the
-shell holes, the cellars and the embankments where the British lay. The
-British guns to the rear of the village made answer, and the uproar tore
-the mists of dawn to tatters. A shell fell short, into the middle of the
-Grande Place, and McDermott saw the broken motor car against which the
-sleeping lieutenant had leaned the day before vanish into nothingness;
-and then a house directly opposite the Hôtel Fauçon jumped into flame
-and was no more. Looking out across the back of the stooping Gustave at
-the window, McDermott muttered, “I dunno as I w'u'd want to jine that
-war.” And then he bellowed in Gustave Schmidt's ear: “Cut loose! Cut
-loose wid y'rgun! Cut loose!”
-
-“I vill not!” shrieked Gustave. “Mein Gott! Dat is mein own regiment!”
-
-“Ye lie!” shouted McDermott. “Ye will!” He thrust a bit of bayonet into
-the fleshiest part of the German's back.
-
-“I vill! I vill!” cried Gustave.
-
-“Ye will that,” said McDermott, “an' the less damned nonsinse I hear
-from ye about y'r own rigimint the betther f'r ye! Ye're undher me
-own ordhers till I c'n make up me mind about this war.” The mists were
-rising. In the clearing daylight at the eastern end of the square, as if
-other clouds were moving forward with a solid front, appeared the first
-gray wave of the German infantry. Close packed, shoulder to shoulder,
-three deep, they came, almost filling the space from side to side of the
-Grande Place, moving across that open stretch against the British fire
-with a certain heavy-footed and heavy-brained contempt of everything
-before them. Ten steps, and the British machine guns and rifles caught
-them. The first wave, or half of it, went down in a long writhing
-windrow, across the east end of the square, and in the instant that he
-saw it squirm and toss before the trampling second wave swept over it
-and through it, the twisting gray-clad figures on the stones reminded
-McDermott of the heaps of heaving worms he used to see at the bottom of
-his bait-can when he went fishing as a boy.
-
-“Hold that nozzle lower, Goostave!” he yelled to his captive. “Spray
-thim! Spray thim! Ye're shootin' over their heads, ye lumberin'
-Dutchman, ye!”
-
-“_Gott!_” cried Gustave, as another jab of the bayonet urged him to his
-uncongenial task.
-
-And then McDermott made one of the few errors of his military career.
-Whether it was the French brandy he had drunk to excess the night
-before, or whether it was the old bung-starter wound on his head, which
-always throbbed and jumped when he became excited, his judgment deserted
-him for an instant. For one instant he forgot that there must be no
-instants free from the immediate occupation of guiding and directing
-Gustave.
-
-“Let me see if I can't work that gun m'self,” he cried.
-
-As he relaxed his vigilance, pushing the German to one side, the Boche
-suddenly struck him upon the jaw. McDermott reeled and dropped his
-rifle; before he could recover himself, the German had it. The weapon
-swung upward in the air and--just then a shell burst outside the open
-window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
-
-Both men were flung from their feet by the concussion. For a moment
-everything was blank to McDermott. And then, stretching out his hand to
-rise, his fingers encountered something smooth and hard upon the floor.
-Automatically his grasp closed over it and he rose. At the same instant
-the German struggled to his feet, one hand behind his back, and the
-other extended, as if in entreaty.
-
-“_Kamerad_,” he whined, and even as he whined he lurched nearer and
-flung at McDermott a jagged, broken bottle. McDermott ducked, and
-the dagger-like glass splintered on his helmet. And then McDermott
-struck--once. Once was enough. The Boche sank to the floor without a
-groan, lifeless. McDermott looked at him, and then, for the first time,
-looked at what he held in his own hand, the weighty thing which he had
-wielded so instinctively and with such ferocity. It was the bung starter
-of the Hôtel Fauçon.
-
-“Goostave niver knowed what hit him,” said McDermott. And if there had
-been any one to hear, in all that din, a note of regret that Gustave
-never knew might have been remarked in his voice.
-
-McDermott turned his attention to the machine gun, which, with its
-tripod, had been knocked to the floor. He squatted, with his head below
-the level of the window sill, and looked it over.
-
-“'Tis not broken,” he decided, after some moments of examination. “Did
-Goostave do it so? Or did he do it so?” He removed his helmet and rubbed
-the scar under his red hair reflectively. “If I was to make up me mind
-to jine that war,” mused McDermott, “this same w'u'd be a handy thing to
-take wid me. It w'u'd that! Now, did that Goostave that used to be here
-pull this pretty little thingumajig so? Or did he pull it so? Ihaveut!
-He pulled it so! And thim ca'tridges, now--do they feed in so? Or do
-they feed in so? 'T w'u'd be a handy thing, now, f'r a man that had anny
-intintions av jinin' the war to know about all thim things!”
-
-And, patiently, McDermott studied the mechanism, while the red sunlight
-turned to yellow in the Grande Place outside, and the budding green
-vines withered along the broken walls, and the stones ran blood, and the
-Hôtel Fauçon began to fall to pieces about his ears. McDermott did not
-hurry; he felt that there was no need to hurry; he had not yet made up
-his mind whether he intended to participate in this war. By the time he
-had learned how to work that machine gun, and had used it on the Germans
-for a while, he thought, he might be vouchsafed some light on that
-particular subject. It was one of McDermott's fixed beliefs that he
-was an extremely cautious sort of man, though many of his acquaintances
-thought of him differently, and he told himself that he must not get too
-far into this war until he was sure that it was going to be congenial.
-So far, it promised well.
-
-And also, McDermott, as he puzzled over the machine gun, was not quite
-the normal McDermott. He was, rather, a supernormal McDermott. He had
-been awakened rudely from an alcoholic slumber and he had been rather
-busy ever since; so many things had taken place in his immediate
-neighborhood, and were still taking place, that he was not quite sure
-of their reality. As he sat on the floor and studied the weapon, he was
-actually, from moment to moment, more than half convinced that he was
-dreaming--he might awaken and find that that war had eluded him again.
-Perhaps he is scarcely to be chided for being in what is sometimes known
-as a state of mind.
-
-And while McDermott was looking at the machine gun, the British
-commander prayed, as a greater British commander before him had prayed
-one time, for assistance, only this one did not pray for night or
-Blucher as Wellington had done. Night was many hours beyond all
-hope and would probably bring its own hell when it came, and as for
-Prussians, there were too many Prussians now. His men would hold on;
-they had been holding on for epic days and unbelievable nights, and they
-would still hold while there was breath in their bodies, and when their
-bodies were breathless they would hold one minute more. But--God! For
-Foch's _poilus!_ There is a moment which is the ultimate moment; the
-spirit can drag the body until--until spirit and body are wrenched into
-two things. No longer. His men could die in their tracks; they were
-dying where they stood and crouched and lay, by dozens and by scores and
-by heroic hundreds--but when they were dead, who would bar the way to
-Hazebrouck, and beyond Hazebrouck, to the channel ports?
-
-That way was all but open now, if the enemy but realized it. Any moment
-they might discover it. A half-mile to the south of the village the line
-was so thinly held that one strong, quick thrust must make a gap. Let
-the enemy but fling a third of the troops he was pounding to pieces in
-the bloody streets of the town, in the torn fields that flanked it, and
-in the shambles of the Grande Place that was the center of this action,
-at that weak spot, and all was over. But with a fury mechanical,
-insensate, the Germans still came on in direct frontal attacks.
-
-The British had slain and slain and slain, firing into the gray masses
-until the water boiled in the jackets of the machine guns. Five attacks
-had broken down in the Grande Place itself--and now a sixth was forming.
-Should he still hold fast, the colonel asked himself, or should he
-retire, saving what machine guns he might, and flinging a desperate
-detachment southward in the attempt to make a stronger right flank? But
-to do that might be the very move that would awaken the Germans to their
-opportunity there. So long as they pounded, pounded at his center, he
-would take a toll of them, at least--but the moment was coming--
-
-“I have ut!” cried McDermott, and mounted his gun at the window.
-
-“It is time to retire,” said the British colonel, and was about to give
-the order.
-
-“Right in their bloody backs,” said McDermott to himself.
-
-And so it was. For the sixth advance of the German masses had carried
-them well into the Grande Place. McDermott, crouched at his window, cut
-loose with his gun at pointblank range as the first wave, five men deep,
-passed by him, splashing along the thick ranks from behind as one might
-sweep a garden hose down a row of vegetables. Taken thus in the rear,
-ambushed, with no knowledge of the strength of the attacking force
-behind them, the German shock troops swayed and staggered, faced about
-and fell and broke. For right into the milling herd of them, and
-into the second advancing wave, the British poured their bullets. The
-colonel, who had been about to order a retreat, ordered a charge,
-and before the stampeded remnant of the first two waves could recover
-themselves the British were on them with grenades and bayonets, flinging
-them back into the third wave, just advancing to their support, in a
-bleeding huddle of defeat.
-
-McDermott saw the beginning of that charge, and with his bung starter in
-his hand he rushed from the door to join it. But he did not see the
-end of it, nor did he see the _poilus_, as they came slouching into the
-village five minutes later to give the repulse weight and confirmation,
-redolent of onions and strange stews, but with their bayonets--those
-bayonets that are part of the men who wield them, living things,
-instinct with the beautiful, straight, keen soul of France herself.
-
-McDermott did not see them, for some more of the Hôtel Fauçon had fallen
-on him, crushing one of his ankles and giving him a clout on the head.
-
-“Whoever it was turned loose that machine gun from the inn window, did
-the trick,” said the colonel, later. “It's hardly too much to say that
-he blocked the way to Hazebrouck--for the time, at least, if one man can
-be said to have done such a thing--what's that?”
-
-“That” was McDermott, who was being carried forth, unconscious, to an
-ambulance. It was his blue overalls that had occasioned the colonel's
-surprise. He was neither French nor British nor German; palpably he was
-a civilian, and a civilian who had no business there. And in his hand he
-clasped a bung starter. His fingers were closed over it so tightly that
-in the base hospital later they found difficulty in taking it away from
-him.
-
-Owing, no doubt, to the blow on his head, McDermott was unable to recall
-clearly anything that had taken place from the moment he had first
-fallen asleep under the influence of French brandy until he awakened in
-the hospital nearly four weeks later. During this period there had been
-several intervals of more open-eyed dreaming, succeeded by lapses into
-profound stupor; but even in these open-eyed intervals, McDermott
-had not been himself. It was during one of these intervals that a
-representative of the French Government bestowed the Croix de Guerre
-upon McDermott, for it had been learned that he was the man behind the
-machine gun that had turned the tide of combat.
-
-McDermott, his eyes open, but his mind in too much of a daze even to
-wonder what the ceremony was about, sat in a wheel chair, and in company
-with half a dozen other men selected for decoration, listened to a brief
-oration in very good French, which he could not have understood had he
-been normal. In answer he muttered in a low tone, rubbing his broken and
-bandaged head: “I think maybe I will jine that war, afther all!”
-
-The French officer assumed that McDermott had spoken some sort of
-compliment to France and kissed McDermott on both cheeks, in front
-of the hospital staff, several American reporters, and as much of the
-French army as qould be spared to do honor to the occasion. The _Croix
-de Guerre_ made no impression upon McDermott, but the kiss briefly
-arrested his wandering consciousness, and he cried out, starting up in
-his chair and menacing the officer: “Where is me bung starter?” Then he
-fainted.
-
-A good many thousands of people in France and England and America
-learned from the newspapers the story of the nondescript in the blue
-overalls, who had behaved so gallantly at the crucial moment of a
-crucial fight. But McDermott never did. He seldom read newspapers. No
-one had been able to learn his name, so the reporters had given him a
-name. They called him “Dennis.” And it was “Dennis” who got the fame and
-glory. McDermott would not have identified himself with Dennis had he
-seen the newspapers. When he awakened from his long, broken stupor, with
-its intervals of dazed halfconsciousness, the first thing he did was to
-steal away from that hospital; he left without having heard of Dennis or
-of the decoration of Dennis.
-
-There was one thing that he had experienced that did live hazily and
-confusedly in his memory, however, although he could not fix it in its
-relationship to any other thing. And that was the fact that he had met
-Gustave Schmidt. Three or four months after he slipped away from the
-hospital--a period of unchronicled wanderings, during which he had tried
-unsuccessfully to enlist several times--he limped into a saloon on the
-Brooklyn water front and asked Tim O'Toole, the proprietor, for his
-usual. He had just got back to Brooklyn, and he carried his earthly
-possessions in a bundle wrapped in brown paper.
-
-“I hear Yordy Crowley isn't givin' his racket this year,” said
-McDermott, laying his bundle on the bar and pouring out his drink.
-
-“He is not,” said Tim. “He is in France helpin' out thim English.”
-
-“Yordy will make a good sojer,” said McDermott. “He is a good man of his
-fists.”
-
-“The Irish is all good sojers,” said Mr. O'Toole, sententiously. “There
-was that man Dinnis, now, that was in all av the papers.”
-
-“I did not hear av him,” said McDermott. “An' phwat did he do?”
-
-“He licked th' entire German army wan morn-in',” said O'Toole, “an'
-saved England, an' the Quane of France kissed him for it. 'Twas in all
-the papers. Or, maybe,” said Mr. O'Toole, “it was the King av Belg'um
-kissed him for ut. Anny-way wan of thim foreign powers kissed him wid
-the whole world lookin' on.”
-
-“An' phwat did this Dinnis do thin?” asked McDermott.
-
-“He attimpted to assault the person that kissed him,” said O'Toole.
-“Maybe 'twas the King av Italy. 'Twas in all the papers at th' time.
-Some wan told me ye were in France y'rsilf, Paddy.”
-
-“I was that,” said McDermott. “I wint wid mules.”
-
-“Did ye see annything av the war?”
-
-“I did not,” said McDermott. “Divil a bit of ut, barrin' a lot o'
-racket an' a big roarin' divil av a stame-boiler thing that come bustin'
-through th' air an' took away the mules that was me passport. But I come
-near seein' some av ut, wan time.”
-
-“An' how was it that ye come near it, an' missed it?” inquired Tim.
-
-“I wint to slape,” said McDermott. “The war was slapin', an' I laid
-m'silf down b' the side av ut an' took a nap, too. Later, I woke up in
-the hospital, some wan havin' stipped on me whilst I was slapin', or
-somethin'. They was afther keep-in' me in th' hospital indefinite, an'
-I slipped away wan mornin', dodgin' the orderlies an' nurses, or I might
-have been there yet eatin' jelly an' gettin' me face washed f'r me. An'
-afther I got back here I thried to jine that war, but th' Amurrican Army
-w'u'd not have me.”
-
-“And phwy not?”
-
-“Because av me fut.”
-
-“And how did ye hurt y'r fut?”
-
-“Divil a bit do I know how,” said McDermott. “I'm tellin' ye 'twas done
-whilst I was aslape. I remimber gettin' soused in wan av thim Frinch
-barrooms, an' I w'u'd think it was a mule stipped on me fut whin I was
-slapin' off me souse, excipt that thim mules was gone before I got me
-souse.”
-
-“An' ye saw naught av the war?” Tim was distinctly disappointed.
-
-“But little of ut, but little of ut,” said McDermott. “But, Timmy,--wan
-thing I did whilst I was in France.”
-
-“An' phwat was that?”
-
-“I avened up an ould grudge,” said McDermott. He put away a second
-drink, rolling it over his tongue with satisfaction. “Do ye mind that
-Goostave Schmidt that used to kape bar acrost the strate? Ye do! Do ye
-mind th' time he hit me wid th' bung starter? Ye do!”
-
-“Phwat thin?”
-
-“Well, thin,” said McDermott, “I met up wid him ag'in in wan av thim
-Frinch barrooms. I do not remimber phwat he said to me nor phwat I said
-to him, for I was soused, Timmy. But wan word led to another, an' I give
-him as good as he sint, an' 'twas wid a bung starter, too. I brung it
-back wid me as a sooveneer av me travels in France.”
-
-And, undoing his brown paper bundle, McDermott fished forth from among
-his change of socks and shirts and underwear the bung starter of the
-Hôtel Fauçon and laid it upon the bar for his friend's inspection.
-Something else in the bundle caught O'Toole's eye.
-
-“An' phwat is that thing ye have there?” asked Tim.
-
-“Divil a bit do I know phwat,” said McDermott, picking the article up
-and tossing it carelessly upon the bar. “'Twas layin' by me cot in
-the hospital, along wid m' bung starter an' me clothes whin I come to
-m'silf, an' whin I made me sneak from that place I brung it along.”
-
-It was the _Croix de Guerre_.
-
-
-
-
-V.--Looney the Mutt
-
-|Looney had but one object in life, one thought, one conscious motive
-of existence--to find Slim again. After he found Slim, things would be
-different, things would be better, somehow. Just how, Looney did not
-know.
-
-Looney did not know much, anyhow. Likely he would never have known much,
-in the most favorable circumstances. And the circumstances under which
-he had passed his life were scarcely conducive to mental growth. He
-could remember, vaguely, that he had not always been called Looney
-Hogan. There had been a time when he was called Kid Hogan. Something had
-happened inside his head one day, and then there had come a period of
-which he remembered nothing at all; after that, when he could remember
-again, he was not Kid any more, but Looney. Perhaps some one had hit him
-on the head. People were always hitting him, before he knew Slim. And
-now that Slim was gone, people were always hitting him again. When he
-was with Slim, Slim had not let people hit him--often. So he must find
-Slim again; Slim, who was the only God he had ever known.
-
-In the course of time he became known, in his own queer world, from
-Baltimore to Seattle, from Los Angeles to Boston, as Slim's Lost
-Mutt, or as Looney the Mutt. Looney did not resent being called a
-dog, particularly, but he never called himself “The Mutt”; he stuck to
-“Looney”; Slim had called him Looney, and Looney must, therefore, be
-right.
-
-The humors of Looney's world are not, uniformly, kindly humors. Giving
-Looney the Mutt a “bum steer” as to Slim's whereabouts was considered a
-legitimate jest.
-
-“Youse ain't seen Slim Matchett anywheres?” he would ask of hobo or
-wobbly, working stiff or yeggman, his faded pale-blue eyes peering from
-his weather-worn face with the same anxious intensity, the same eager
-hope, as if he had not asked the question ten thousand times before.
-
-And the other wanderer, if he were one that knew of Looney the Mutt and
-Looney's quest would answer, like as not:
-
-“Slimmy de Match? Uh-huh! I seen Slim last mont' in Chi. He's lookin'
-fer youse, Looney.” One day the Burlington Crip, who lacked a hand, and
-who looked so mean that it was of common report that he had got sore at
-himself and bitten it off, varied the reply a bit by saying:
-
-“I seen Slim las' week, an' he says: 'Where t' hell's dat kid o' mine?
-Youse ain't seen nuttin' o' dat kid o' mine, has you, Crip? Dat kid o'
-mine give me de slip, Crip. He lammistered, and I ain't seen him since.
-If youse gets yer lamps on dat kid o' mine, Crip, give him a wallop on
-his mush fer me, an' tell him to come an' find me an' I'm gonna give him
-another one.'”
-
-Looney stared and wondered and grieved. It hurt him especially that Slim
-should think that he, Looney, had run away from Slim; he agonized anew
-that he could not tell Slim at once that such was not the truth. And he
-wondered and grieved at the change that must have taken place in Slim,
-who now promised him “a wallop on the mush.” For Slim had never struck
-him. It was Slim who had always kept other people from striking him.
-It was Slim who had, upon occasion, struck other people to protect
-him--once, in a hangout among the lakeside sand dunes south of Chicago,
-Slim had knifed a man who had, by way of jovial byplay to enliven a dull
-afternoon, flung Looney into the fire.
-
-It never occurred to Looney to doubt, entirely, these bearers of
-misinformation. He was hunting Slim, and of course, he thought, Slim
-was hunting Looney. His nature was all credulity. Such mind as the boy
-possessed--he was somewhere in his twenties, but had the physique of
-a boy--was saturated with belief in Slim, with faith in Slim, and he
-thought that all the world must admire Slim. He did not see why any one
-should tell lies that might increase Slim's difficulties, or his own.
-
-There was a big red star he used to look at nights, when he slept in the
-open, and because it seemed to him bigger and better and more splendid
-than any of the other stars he took to calling it Slim's star. It was a
-cocky, confident-looking star; it looked as if it would know how to take
-care of itself, and Slim had been like that. It looked good-natured,
-too, and Slim had been that way. When Looney had rustled the scoffin's
-for Slim, Slim had always let him have some of the best chow--or almost
-always. And he used to talk to that star about Slim when he was alone.
-It seemed sympathetic. And although he believed the hoboes were telling
-him the truth when they said that they had seen Slim, it was apparent
-even to his intelligence that they had no real sympathy with his quest.
-
-Once he did find a certain sympathy, if no great understanding. He
-worked a week, one Spring, for a farmer in Indiana. The farmer wished
-to keep him, for that Summer at least, for Looney was docile, willing
-enough, and had a natural, unconscious tact with the work-horses. Looney
-was never afraid of animals, and they were never afraid of him. Dogs
-took to him, and the instant liking of dogs had often stood him in good
-stead in his profession.
-
-“Why won't you stay?” asked the farmer.
-
-“Slim's lookin' fer me, somewheres,” said Looney. And he told the farmer
-about Slim. The farmer, having perceived Looney's mental twilight, and
-feeling kindly toward the creature, advanced an argument that he thought
-might hold him.
-
-“Slim is just as likely to find you if you stay in one place, as if you
-go travelin' all over the country,” he said.
-
-“Huh-uh,” said Looney. “He ain't, Mister. It's this way, Mister: every
-time I stop long any-, wheres, Slim, he passes me by.”
-
-And then he continued, after a pause: “Slim, he was always good to me,
-Mister. I kinda want to be the one that finds Slim, instead of just
-stayin' still an' waitin' to be found.”
-
-They were standing in the dusk by the barn, and the early stars were
-out. Looney told him about Slim's star.
-
-“I want to be the guy that does the findin',” went on Looney presently,
-“because I was the guy that done the losin'. One night they was five or
-six of us layin' under a lot of railroad ties we had propped up against
-a fence to keep the weather off, an' we figgered on hoppin' a train fer
-Chi that night. Well, the train comes along, but I'm asleep. See? The
-rest of t' gang gits into an empty in de dark, an' I don't wake up. I
-s'pose Slim he t'inks I'm wit' t' gang, but I don't wake up under them
-ties till mornin'. I went to Chi soon's I could, but I ain't never
-glommed him since, Mister. I didn't find him dere. An' dat's t' way I
-lost Slim, Mister.”
-
-“Maybe,” suggested the farmer, “he is dead.”
-
-“Nit,” said Looney. “He ain't dead. If Slim was croaked or anything, I'd
-be wised up to it. Look at that there star. Dat is Slim's star, like I
-told youse. If Slim had been bumped off, or anything, Mister, that star
-wouldn't be shinin' that way, Mister.”
-
-And he went back to his own world--his world--which was a succession of
-freight and cattle cars, ruinous sheds and shelters in dubious suburbs
-near to railroad sidings, police stations, workhouses, jails, city
-missions, transient hangouts in bedraggled clumps of wood, improvised
-shacks, shared with others of his kind in vacant lots in sooty
-industrial towns, chance bivouacs amidst lumber piles and under dripping
-water tanks, lucky infrequent lodgings in slum hotels that used to
-charge fifteen cents for a bed and now charge a quarter, golden moments
-in vile barrooms and blind tigers, occasional orgies in quarries or
-gravel pits or abandoned tin-roofed tool houses, uneasy, loiterings
-and interrupted slumbers in urban parks and the squares or outskirts of
-villages. Sometimes he worked, as he had with the Indiana farmer, with
-the wheat harvesters of the Northwest, or the snow shovelers of the
-metropoli, or the fruit gatherers of California; but more often he
-loafed, and rustled grub and small coin from the charitably disposed.
-
-It all seemed the natural way of life to Looney. He could not remember
-anything else. He viewed the people of the world who did not live so,
-and whom he saw to be the majority, as strange, unaccountable beings
-whom he could never hope to understand; he vaguely perceived that they
-were stronger than he and his ever-hiking clan, and he knew that they
-might do unpleasant things to him with their laws and their courts
-and their strength, but he bore them no rancor, unlike many of his
-associates.
-
-He had no theories about work or idleness; he accepted either as it
-came; he had little conscious thought about anything, except finding
-Slim again. And one thing worried him: Slim, who was supposed to be
-looking for Looney, even as Looney was looking for Slim, left no mark.
-He was forever looking for it, searching for the traces of Slim's
-knife--a name, a date, a destination, a message bidding Looney to follow
-or to wait--on freight sheds and water tanks, and known and charted
-telegraph poles and the tool houses of construction gangs. But Slim,
-always just ahead of him, as he thought, continually returning and
-passing him, ever receding in the distance, left no mark, no wanderer's
-pateran, behind. Looney left his own marks everywhere, but, strangely
-enough, it seemed that Slim never saw them. Looney remembered that one
-time when he and Slim were together Slim had wished to meet and confer
-with the Burlington Crip, and had left word to that effect, penciled and
-carved and sown by the speech of the mouth, from the Barbary Coast to
-the Erie Basin. And the Burlington Crip, with his snaggle teeth and his
-stump where a hand had been, had joined them on the Brooklyn waterfront
-within two months. It had been simple, and Looney wondered why Slim
-omitted this easy method of communication. Perhaps Slim was using it and
-Looney was not finding the marks. He knew himself for stupid, and set
-his failure down to that, never to neglect on Slim's part. For Slim was
-Slim, and Slim could do no wrong.
-
-His habit of searching for some scratched or written word of Slim's
-became known to his whole section of the underworld, and furnished
-material for an elaboration of the standing jest at his expense. When
-ennui descended upon some chance gathering in one of the transient
-hangouts--caravanserai as familiar to the loose-foot, casual guests,
-from coast to coast, as was ever the Blackstone in Chicago or the
-Biltmore in New York to those who read this simple history--it was
-customary for some wag to say:
-
-“Looney, I seen a mark that looked like Slim's mark on a shed down in
-Alexandria, Virginny, right by where the Long Bridge starts over to
-Washington.”
-
-And it might be that Looney would start at once, without a word, for
-Alexandria. Therein lay the cream of this subtle witticism, for its
-perpetrators--in Looney's swift departures.
-
-Or it might be that Looney would sit and ponder, his washed-out eyes
-interrogating the speaker in a puzzled fashion, but never doubting. And
-then the jester would say, perhaps: “Why don't you get a move onto you,
-Looney? You're gonna miss Slim again.”
-
-And Looney would answer, perchance: “Slim, he ain't there now. The' was
-one of them wobblies' bump-off men sayin' he seen Slim in Tacoma two
-weeks ago, an' Slim was headin' this way. I'm gonna wait fer him a while
-longer.”
-
-But he never waited long. He could never make himself. As he had told
-the Indiana farmer, he was afraid to wait long. It was the Burlington
-Crip who had made him afraid to do that. The Crip had told him one time:
-“Looney, Slim went through here last night, while youse was asleep over
-on that lumber pile. I forgets youse is lookin' fer him or I'd a tipped
-him off youse was here.”
-
-Slim had been within a hundred yards of him, and he had been asleep and
-had never known! What would Slim think, if he knew that? So thereafter
-he was continually tortured by the fancy that Slim might be passing
-him in the night; or that Slim, while he himself was riding the rods
-underneath a railway car, might be on the blind baggage of that very
-train, and would hop off first and be missed again. From day to day he
-became more muddled and perplexed trying to decide whether it would be
-better to choose this route or that, whether it would be better to stop
-here a week, or go yonder with all possible speed. And from month to
-month he developed more and more the questing, peering, wavering manner
-of the lost dog that seeks its master.
-
-Looney was always welcome In the hang-outs of the wandering underworld.
-Not only was he a source of diversion, a convenient butt, but few could
-rustle grub so successfully. His meager frame and his wistfulness, his
-evident feebleness of intellect, drew alms from the solvent population,
-and Looney faithfully brought his takings to the hangouts and was
-dispatched again for more. Servant and butt he was to such lords as the
-Burlington Crip and the English Basher. But he did not mind so long as
-he was not physically maltreated--as he often was. The occasional
-crimes of his associates, the occasional connection of some of them with
-industrial warfare here and there, Looney sometimes participated in; but
-he never understood. If he were told to do so and so, for the most part
-he did it. If he were asked to do too much, or was beaten up for his
-stupidity, and he was always stupid, he quietly slunk away at his first
-opportunity.
-
-The English Basher was a red-faced savage with fists as hard and rough
-as tarred rope; and he conceived the idea that Looney should be his kid,
-and wait upon him, even as he had been Slim's kid. Looney, afraid of the
-man, for a time seemed to acquiesce. But the Basher had reckoned without
-Looney's faculty for blundering.
-
-He dispatched Looney one day, ostensibly to bum a handout, but in
-reality to get the lay of a certain house in a suburb near Cincinnati,
-which the Basher meditated cracking the next convenient night. Looney
-returned with the food but without the information. He had been willing
-enough, for he admired yeggmen and all their ways and works, and was
-withheld by no moral considerations from anything he was asked to do;
-but he had bungled. He had been in the kitchen, he had eaten his own
-scoffin's there, he had talked with the cook for twenty minutes, he had
-even brought up from the cellar a scuttle of coal for the kitchen range
-to save the cook's back, but he actually knew less about that house, its
-plan, its fastenings, its doors and basement windows than the Basher had
-been able to gather with a single stroke of the eye as he loitered down
-the street.
-
-“Cripes! Whadje chin about with the kitchen mechanic all dat time, you?”
- demanded the Basher.
-
-“She was stringin' me along,” said Looney humbly, “an' I spilled to her
-about me an' Slim.”
-
-“Slim! ------ -------- yer, I've a mind t' croak yer!” cried the Basher.
-
-And he nearly did it, knocking the boy down repeatedly, till finally
-Looney lay still upon the ground.
-
-“'S'elp me,” said the Basher, “I've a mind to give yer m' boots! You
-get up an' beat it! An' if I ever gets my lamps onto you again I _will_
-croak you, by Gawd, an' no mistake!”
-
-Looney staggered to his feet and hobbled to a safe distance. And then,
-spitting out a broken tooth, he dared to mutter: “If Slimmy was here,
-he'd see de color o' youse insides, Slimmy would. Slimmy, he knifed a
-yegg oncet wot done less'n dat t'me!”
-
-It was only a week or two after he left the Basher that Looney's faith
-in Slim's star was tested again. Half a dozen of the brotherhood were
-gathered about a fire in a gravel pit in northern Illinois, swapping
-yarns and experiences and making merry. It was a tremendous fire, and
-lighted up the hollow as if it were the entrance to Gehenna, flinging
-the grotesque shadows of the men against the overhanging embankments,
-and causing the inhabitants of a village a mile or so away to wonder
-what farmer's haystack was aflame. The tramps were wasting five times
-the wood they needed, after their fashion. They had eaten to repletion,
-and they were wasting the left-over food from their evening gorge; they
-had booze; they were smoking; they felt, for the hour, at peace with the
-world.
-
-“Wot ever _did_ become of dat Slim?” asked the Burlington Crip, who
-happened to be of the party, looking speculatively at Looney. Even the
-sinister Crip, for the nonce, was not toting with him his usual mordant
-grouch.
-
-Looney was tending the fire, while he listened to tales of the spacious
-days of the great Johnny Yegg himself, and other Titans of the road who
-have now assumed the state of legendary heroes; and he was, as usual,
-saying nothing.
-
-“Slim? Slimmy t' Match wot Looney here's been tailin' after fer so
-long?” said the San Diego Kid. “Slim, he was bumped off in Paterson
-t'ree or four years ago.”
-
-“He wasn't neither,” spoke up Looney. “Tex, here, seen him in Chi last
-mont'.”
-
-And, indeed, Tex had told Looney so. But now, thus directly appealed
-to, Tex answered nothing. And for the first time Looney began to get
-the vague suspicion that these, his friends, might have trifled with him
-before. Certainly they were serious now. He looked around the sprawled
-circle and sensed that their manner was somehow different from the
-attitude with which they had usually discussed his quest for Slim.
-
-“Bumped off?” said Tex. “How?”
-
-“A wobbly done it,” said the San Diego Kid. “Slim, he was scabbin'.
-Strike-breakin'. And they was some wobblies there helpin' on the strike.
-See? An' this wobbly bumps Slim off.”
-
-“He didn't neither,” said Looney again.
-
-“T' hell he didn't? He said he did,” said the San Diego Kid pacifically.
-“Is a guy gonna say he's bumped off a guy unless he's bumped him off?”
-
-Looney, somewhat shaken, withdrew from the group to seek comfort from
-the constellations; and particularly from that big, red star, the
-apparent king of stars, which he had come to think of as Slim's star,
-and vaguely, as Slim's mascot. It was brighter and redder than ever
-that night, Looney thought, and sitting on a discarded railroad tie and
-staring at the planet, Looney gradually recovered his faith.
-
-“He ain't neither been bumped off, Slim ain't,” he muttered, “an' I'm
-gonna find him yet.”
-
-And Slim had not been bumped off, however sincere the San Diego Kid may
-have been in his belief.
-
-It was some months later that Looney did find him in a little city in
-Pennsylvania--or found some one that looked like him.
-
-Looney had dropped from a freight train early in the morning, had
-rustled himself some grub, had eaten two good meals and had part of a
-day's sleep, and now, just as dark was coming on, and the street lamps
-were being lighted, was loafing aimlessly on the platform of the railway
-depot. He purposed to take a train south that night, when it became so
-dark that he could crawl into an empty in the yards without too much
-danger of being seen and he was merely putting in the time until full
-night came on.
-
-While he was standing idly so, an automobile drew up beside the station
-platform and an elegantly dressed and slender man of about thirty got
-out. He assisted from the car a woman and a small child, and they made
-toward the door of the waiting room.
-
-“Slim!” cried Looney, rushing forward.
-
-For this was Slim--it must be Slim--it was Slimmy the Match in every
-feature--and yet, the car!--the clothes--the woman--the baby--the
-prosperity----- _Was_ it Slim?
-
-“Slim!” cried Looney again, his heart leaping in his meager body. “It's
-me, Slim! It's Looney! I've got youse again, Slim! Gawd! I've found
-yuh!”
-
-The woman hastily snatched the child up into her arms, with a suppressed
-scream, and recoiled.
-
-The man made no sound, but he, too, drew back a step, not seeming to see
-Looney's outstretched hand.
-
-But he did see it--he saw more than that. He saw, as if they were
-flashed before him at lightning speed upon a cinema screen, a dozen
-scenes of a wild and reckless and indigent youth that he had thought was
-dead forever; he saw these roughneck years suddenly leap alive and
-stalk toward him again, toward him and his; he saw his later years of
-industry, his hard-won success, his position so strenuously battled for,
-his respectability that was become so dear to him, all his house of
-life so laboriously builded, crumbling before the touch of this torn and
-grotesque outcast that confronted and claimed him, this wavering,
-dusty lunatic whom he dimly remembered. If his wife knew--if her people
-knew--if the business men of this town were to know----
-
-He shuddered and turned sick, and then with a sudden recovery he took
-his child from its mother and guided her before him into the waiting
-room.
-
-Looney watched them enter, in silence. He stood dazed for a moment,
-and then he slowly turned and walked down the railroad track beyond the
-limits of the town. There, upon a spot of turf beside the right of
-way, he threw himself upon his face and sobbed and moaned, as a
-broken-hearted child sobs, as a dog moans upon its master's grave.
-
-But after a while he looked up. Slim's star was looking down at him, red
-and confident and heartening as ever. He gazed at it a long time, and
-then an idea took form in his ruined brain and he said aloud:
-
-“Now, dat wasn't _really_ Slim! I been lookin' fer Slim so long I t'ink
-I see Slim where he ain't! Dat was jus' some guy wot looks like Slimmy.
-Slimmy, he wouldn't never of gone back on an old pal like dat!”
-
-The rumble of an approaching train caught his ears. He got to his feet
-and prepared to board it.
-
-“Slim, he's waitin' fer me somewheres,” he told the star. “I may be
-kinda looney about some t'ings, but I knows Slim, an' dey ain't no
-yellow streak nowheres in Slim!”
-
-And with unshaken loyalty Looney the Mutt boarded the train and set off
-upon his endless quest anew.
-
-
-
-
-VI--Kale
-
-|See that old fellow there?” asked Ed the waiter. “Well, his fad is
-money.”
-
-The old fellow indicated--he must have been nearly eighty--sat eating
-corned beef and cabbage in a little booth in a certain delightful,
-greasy old chophouse in downtown New York. It was nearly time to close
-the chophouse for that day for it was almost eleven o'clock at night; it
-was nearly time to close the chophouse forever, for it was the middle of
-June, 1919. In a couple of weeks the wartime prohibition act would be in
-force, and Ed and I had been discussing what effect it would have upon
-our respective lives.
-
-There was no one else in the place at the time except the cashier and
-the old man whose fad was money, and so Ed had condescended toward me,
-as a faithful customer, and was sitting down to have a drink with me.
-
-“His fad is money?” I questioned, glancing at the old gentleman, who
-seemed to be nothing extraordinary as regards face or manner or attire.
-He had a long, bony New Englandish head and a short, white, well-trimmed
-beard; he was finishing his nowise delicate food with gusto. “I should
-say,” I added, “that his fad was corned beef and cabbage.”
-
-“That's one of his fads,” admitted Ed the waiter, “and I don't know but
-that it's as strong in him as his money fad. At any rate, I've never
-seen him without one or the other was near him, and both in large
-quantities.”
-
-We had been conversing in a mumble, so that our voices should not carry
-to the old gentleman. And now Ed dropped his voice still lower and
-whispered:
-
-“That's Old Man Singleton.”
-
-I looked at him with a renewed interest. Every one knew who Old Man
-Singleton was, and many persons liked to guess how much he was worth.
-Ostensibly he had retired, leaving to his two sons the management of the
-Singleton banking business, with its many ramifications; but actually
-he kept his interest in the concern and was reputed to be coaching his
-grandsons in the ways of the world, and especially that part of the
-world known as “The Street.”
-
-Starting out as a New England villager who hated poverty because his
-family had always known it, he had come to New York as a lad of twenty,
-with red knitted mittens on his osseous hands, and he had at once
-removed the mittens and put the hands to work gathering money; it was
-rumored that the hands had never turned loose any of the garnered coin;
-it was even said by some persons that he still had the same pair of
-mittens.
-
-The details of his rise I cannot give; he had achieved his ambition
-to be one of the very rich men of America because the ambition was so
-strong within him.
-
-“Of course his fad is money,” I muttered to Ed the waiter. “Everybody
-knows that Old Man Singleton's fad is money.”
-
-Ed was about to reply, when Mr. Singleton looked up and motioned for his
-check. Ed brought it, and gave the old gentleman his hat and his stick
-and his change.
-
-“I hope everything was all right,” Mr. Singleton said Ed, palpably
-bidding for recognition and a tip.
-
-“Eh? said Singleton, looking blankly at Ed You know me, hey? I don't
-recall you. Yes, everything was all right, thank you.” He gave the
-waiter a dime and passed out, after another blank, fumbling look at Ed,
-and a shake of his head. There was something feeble and wandering in the
-old fellow's manner; his memory was going; it was obvious that before
-long the rest of him would follow his memory. He shouldn't be allowed to
-go around this way alone at night,” murmured Ed, watching the door
-through which he had made his exit. “But I suppose he's as bull-headed
-as ever about doing what he pleases, even if his legs are shaky.”
-
-“He didn't know you,” I hinted, for I wished to learn all that Ed knew
-about Old Man Singleton.
-
-Ed is a person who has been in the world nearly fifty years; he has had
-some very unusual acquaintances and experiences. It is never safe to
-predict just what Ed will know and what he will not know. One afternoon,
-after I had known Ed for about a year, I was attempting to argue some
-scientific point with a friend who was lunching with me, and Ed, who was
-waiting on us and listening, remarked: “I beg your pardon, sir, but it
-wasn't in _The Descent of Man_ that Darwin said that; it was in _The
-Origin of Species_.”
-
-And yet, if you deduce from that remark that Ed knows a great deal about
-modern science, you will be mistaken; as likely as not he could quote
-pages of Marcus Aurelius to you, and at the same time he might pronounce
-“Euripides” as if the last two syllables were one, riming with “hides”;
-his reading, like his life, has been elective.
-
-“He doesn't recall you,” I repeated.
-
-“And that's ingratitude,” said Ed, “if he only knew it. I saved the old
-man's life once.”
-
-And Ed limped over to the table and resumed his seat opposite me. He
-has a bullet under one kneecap, and at times it makes him very lame. He
-would never tell me how it came there; to this day I do not know.
-
-“From what did you save his life?” I asked. “From a man,” said Ed
-moodily. “From a man who had a notion to bean him one night. And to this
-day I ask myself: 'Did I do right, or did I do wrong?'”
-
-“Tell me about it,” I insisted,
-
-“Drink up,” said Ed, manipulating the Scotch bottle and the siphon of
-seltzer. “This is one of the last highballs you'll ever have, unless
-you sneak around and take it on the sly. I don't know that I should have
-another one myself; it settles in this damned knee of mine if I get a
-little too much.”
-
-“Tell me when, where and how you knew Old Man Singleton,” I demanded
-again.
-
-“This knee of mine,” went on Ed, disregarding me, “is a hell of a
-handicap. We were talking about prohibition--what's prohibition going to
-do to me? Hey? It puts me out of a job in a barroom like this the first
-thing. And what else can I do? With this game leg, you can see me going
-on the stage as a Russian dancer, can't you? Or digging trenches to lay
-gas pipes in, or carrying a Hod? Huh? And I can't even get a job in a
-swell restaurant uptown; they don't want any gamelegged waiters sticking
-around, falling over the chairs. This was about the only kind of a joint
-and the only kind of a job I was fit for, this chop-house thing down
-here, and it's going to close in two weeks. What then? Be somebody's
-housemaid? I can't see it. I don't wish anybody any bad luck, but I
-hope the guy that put over this prohibition thing gets stiff in all his
-joints and lives forever.”
-
-I sympathized and waited, and finally he began. “Old Man Singleton's
-fad,” said Ed, “as I re marked before, is money. And as you remarked,
-another of his fads is corned beef and cabbage--especially cabbage. He
-will eat corned beef with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat pork
-with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat cabbage without either; it
-is the cabbage he likes--or kale. In fact, you could reduce his two fads
-to one, and say what he likes is kale--kale in the slang sense of money,
-and kale that is cabbage. And all his life he has been stuffing himself
-with kale.
-
-“His fad is kale that he can see and feel and handle and show and carry
-about with him. Not merely money in the bank and stocks and bonds and
-property and real estate, but actual cash. He likes to carry it with
-him, and he does carry it with him. I guess he likes the feel of it in
-his billfolder, and the thought that he has got it on him--on him, the
-poor boy that came out of New England with the red knitted mittens on
-that everybody has heard so much about. I can understand the way
-he feels about it; with a folder full of thousand-dollar and
-ten-thousand-dollar bills he feels safe, somehow; feels like he'll never
-have to go back to that little New England town and saw cordwood and
-shovel snow again.
-
-“He's got it on him now, that folder, and I'll bet you on it. That's
-what I meant when I said it wasn't safe for him to be trotting about
-this way after night. For if I know it, it stands to reason others know
-it, too.
-
-“What you want to know is, how I know it. Well, I was not always what I
-am now. Once I was quite a bird and wore dress suits and went to the
-Metropolitan Opera and listened to Caruso as he jumped his voice from
-peak to peak. Yes, sir, I know every darned acoustic in that place! They
-weren't my dress suits that I wore, but they fit me. Once I moved in the
-circles of the idle rich, though they didn't know it, and helped 'em
-spend the unearned increment they wrung from the toil of the downtrodden
-laboring man.
-
-“Once, to come down to brass tacks, I was a butler's companion. It is
-an office you won't find listed in the social directory, but it existed,
-for me at least. The butler in the case was a good friend of mine by the
-name of Larry Hodgkins, and being part Irish, he was an ideal English
-butler. Larry and his mother were in the employ of the Hergsheimers, a
-wealthy Jewish family--you know who they are if you read the financial
-pages or the Sunday supplements. Mrs. Hodgkins was the housekeeper and
-Larry was the butler, and when the Hergsheimers were traveling Larry and
-his mother stayed in the New York house as caretakers and kept things
-shipshape. And let me give you a tip, by the way: if you ever take a
-notion to quit the writing game and go into domestic service, plant
-yourself with a rich Hebrew family. They want things done right,
-but they are the most liberal people on earth, especially to Gentile
-servants.
-
-“This Hergsheimer was Jacob Hergsheimer, and he was in right socially in
-New York, as well as financially; he had put himself across into the
-big time socially because, if you ask me, he belonged there; all the
-Hergsheimers didn't get across, but this one did. His New York house is
-uptown, between the sixties and the eighties, east of the Park, and
-he wants it kept so he can drop into it with his family and a flock of
-servants at any hour of the day or night, from any part of the earth,
-without a minute's notice, and give a dinner party at once, if he feels
-like it, and he frequently feels like it.
-
-“It was Mrs. Hodgkins's and Larry's job to keep the fire from going
-out in the boilers, so to speak, and a head of steam on, so that the
-domestic ship could sail in any direction on receipt of orders by wire,
-wireless or telephone. They were permanent there, but Jake Hergsheimer
-and his family, as far as I could make out, never got more than an
-average of about three months' use a year out of that mansion.
-
-“This time I am speaking of was nearly ten years ago. I was a waiter in
-an uptown restaurant, and both my legs were good then; Larry and I
-were old pals. The Jake Hergsheimers were sailing around the world in a
-yacht, and would be at it for about a year, as far as Larry knew, and
-he asked me up to live with him. I accepted; and believe me, the eight
-months I put in as Jake Hergsheimer's guest were _some_ eight months.
-Not that Jake knew about it; but if he had known it, he wouldn't have
-cared. This Jake was a real human being.
-
-“And his clothes fit me; just as if I had been measured for them. He had
-what you might call an automatic tailor, Jake did. Every six weeks, rain
-or shine, that tailor delivered a new suit of clothes to the Hergsheimer
-house, and he sent in his bill once a year, so Larry the butler told me.
-Some people go away and forget to stop the milk; and when Jake sailed
-for the other side of the world he forgot to tell anybody to stop the
-tailor. Larry didn't feel as if it were any part of his duty to stop
-him; for Larry liked that tailor. He made Larry's clothes, too.
-
-“And I didn't see where it was up to me to protest. As I said, Jake's
-garments might have been made for me. In fact, a great many of them
-_were_ made for me. There were at least fifteen suits of clothes that
-had never been worn in that house, made to my measure and Jake's, when
-I became butler's companion in the establishment, and they kept right
-on coming. Also, there was a standing order for orchestra seats at the
-Metropolitan. Jake had a box every second Thursday, or something like
-that, but when he really wanted to hear the music and see the show he
-usually sat in the orchestra. Not only did his business suits fit me,
-but his dress clothes fit me, too.
-
-“I used to go often, with a lady's maid that had the same access to
-clothing as I did. She was part of a caretaking staff also. Being a
-writing person, you have, of course, only viewed New York's society and
-near-society from the outside, and no doubt you have been intimidated by
-the haughty manners of the servants. Well, when you get close to swells
-and really know them personally, you will find they are human, too.
-
-“A butler on duty is a swelled-up proposition, because he has to be that
-way. But take him as you find him among his peers, and he quits acting
-like the Duke of Westminster Abbey, and is real sociable. This Larry
-person, for instance, could distend himself like a poisoned pup and
-make a timid millionaire feel like the sleeves of his undershirt must be
-showing below his cuffs; but in our little select circle Larry was the
-life of the party.
-
-“Being, as I said before, an outsider, you likely don't realize how
-many of those big swell millionaires' cribs uptown are in the hands of
-caretakers like Larry and his mother and me the best part of the year.
-Well, they are; and there's a social life goes on in them that don't
-ever get into the papers. The parties we had that year in Jake's house
-would have done Jake himself good, if Jake could have got an invitation
-to them. But Jake was absent, though his cellar and his grocers were
-at our service; and he never questioned a bill, Larry said. There were
-twelve or fifteen hand-picked servants in our little social circle that
-year, and before I left there I could begin to understand how these
-débutantes feel at the end of the season--sort of tired and bored and
-willing to relax and go in for work and rest and athletics for a change.
-
-“I had only been butler's companion for a few weeks when Old Man
-Singleton dropped in one evening--yes, sir, Old Lemuel Singleton
-himself. He came to see the butler's mother, Mrs. Hodgkins. He had known
-her a good many years before, when he was wearing those red mittens and
-sawing wood up in that New England town and she was somebody's Irish
-cook. And he had run across her again, after he became a millionaire,
-down here in New York City. He was tickled to see her, and he didn't
-care a darn if she was Jake Hergsheimer's housekeeper. She could cook
-cabbage and kale better than any one else in the world, and he used to
-come and sit with her, and talk about that little old town up there, and
-indulge in his favorite dissipation.
-
-“Old Man Singleton has had what you call the social entrée in New York
-for a good many years; for so long that some of his children, and
-all his grandchildren, were born with it. But he never took it very
-seriously himself. He has been an in-and-outer, you might say. If he saw
-Mrs. Hodgkins around Jake's house, he would call her Mary and ask her
-how folks were up home in front of Jake and his wife and a whole bunch
-of guests, just as soon as not.
-
-“And his sons and his daughters and his grandchildren never could get
-him out of those ways; he always was bull-headed about doing what he
-pleased, so Mrs. Hodgkins told me, and he always will be. And the old
-lady liked to see him and chin with him and cook for him; and believe
-me, she was some cook when she set herself to it. Not merely kale, but
-everything. She didn't cook for the Hergsheimers--they had a chef for
-that--but they missed it by not having her. Victuals was old Mary's
-middle name, and she could rustle up some of the best grub you ever
-threw your lip over.
-
-“At first, Old Man Singleton and Mrs. Hodgkins didn't mix much with
-us younger folks when we pulled a party. It wasn't that we were too
-aristocratic for them, for off duty, as I said before, butlers and other
-swells can be as easy and jolly as common people. But they seemed too
-antiquated, if you get me; they were living too much in the past.
-
-“And then, one night, I discovered what Old Man Singleton's fad
-was--kale. Money. Big money. Big money on his person. It was this way:
-Larry and I wanted to go downtown and have a little fun, but neither
-of us had any cash in hand. Larry had a check for one hundred and fifty
-dollars which Jake Hergsheimer had sent him, but all the tradesmen we
-knew were closed at that hour, and there wasn't any way to cash it,
-unless Old Man Singleton could.
-
-“'Mr. Singleton,' says Larry to the old man, who was sitting down to a
-mess of pork and kale with Mrs. Hodgkins, 'maybe you can cash this for
-me.' And he handed him the check.
-
-“The old man stopped eating and put his glasses on and pulled a
-billfolder out of his pocket, with a kind of pleased smile on his face.
-
-“'Let me see,' he says, taking out the bills, and running them over with
-his fingers; 'let me see.'
-
-“I nearly dropped dead. There wasn't a bill in there of lower
-denomination than one thousand dollars; and most of them were
-ten-thousand-dol-lar bills.
-
-“'No, Larry,' says the old man, 'I'm afraid I can't, afraid I
-can't--haven't got the change.'
-
-“And while we stood there and looked, he smoothed and patted those
-bills, and folded and refolded them, and then put them back into his
-pocket, and patted the pocket.
-
-“'Mary,' he says to the old woman with a grin, 'that's quite a lot of
-money for little Lem Singleton to be carrying around in his pocket,
-isn't it?' “'It is that, Lemuel,' said the old lady, 'and I should think
-you'd be afraid of leaving it out of the bank.'
-
-“'Well, Mary,' says the old man, 'I kind o' like to have it around me
-all the time--uh--huh! a little bit where I can put my hands on it, all
-the time. I used to carry gold; but I gave that up; it's too heavy, for
-what it's worth. But I like it, Mary; I used to look at that gold and
-say to myself, “Well, there's one thing you got, Lem Singleton, they
-never thought you'd get when you left home! And they aren't going to
-take it away from you, either!” It was a long time before I could make
-paper seem as real to me as gold. But it does now.'
-
-“And what does the old bird do but take it out of his pocket again and
-crinkle it through his fingers and smooth it out again and pet it and do
-everything but kiss it. Larry and I stood looking at him with our eyes
-sticking out, and he looked at us and laughed. It came to me all of a
-sudden that he liked to come where we servants were because he could
-pull that kind of thing in front of us, but that he was sort of lost
-among the swell-society bunch because he didn't dare pull it there and
-didn't feel so rich among them.
-
-“'My God, Larry,' I said, when we were outside the house, 'did you
-notice how much kale the old man had there?'
-
-“'Uh-huh,' said Larry. 'Mother always cooks a lot for him.'
-
-“'Wake up, Stupid,' I said. 'I don't mean cabbage. I mean money. There
-must have been nearly two hundred thousand dollars in that roll!'
-
-“'He always has around one hundred thousand dollars on him, at least,'
-says Larry. 'And I've seen him flash as high as a quarter of a million.'
-
-“'Well,' I says, 'something ought to be done about it.'
-
-“'What do you mean, Ed?' says he.
-
-“'Oh, nothing,' I said.
-
-“We walked over to get the L train downtown, saying nothing, and then
-finally Larry remarked: “'Electricity is a great thing, Ed.'
-
-“'I never said it wasn't,' says I.
-
-“'It's a great thing,' says Larry, 'but when you sit on it, sit on
-it right. For instance, I'd a darned sight rather sit in one of these
-electric trains than in that electric chair up at Sing Sing.'
-
-“'Who said anything about an electric chair?' I asked him.
-
-“'Nobody said anything,' says Larry, 'but you're thinking so darned loud
-I can get you.'
-
-“'Piffle, peanuts and petrification,' I said. 'Take care of your own
-thoughts, and I'll skim the fat off of mine myself.'
-
-“Well, as I said, after that we got better acquainted, the old man and
-I. I paid more attention to him. He interested me more. I've always
-been interested in science of all kinds, and the year I spent in Jake
-Hergsheimer's house I cut the leaves of a lot of books in his library
-and gave them the once over. I was always interested in psychology, even
-before the word got to be a headliner in the Sunday supplements, and I
-took a good deal of pleasure that winter trying to get inside of Old
-Man Singleton's mind. I must say, I never got very far in, at that. My
-general conclusion at the end is what it was at the beginning--his fad
-is kale.
-
-“And he loved to show it, you could see that. Not that he pulled it
-every time he happened to be at one of our parties. Often he would drop
-in that winter from some swell social event at one of the big houses
-uptown, where he had been a guest, and eat some of old Mary's chow, and
-never intimate by word or look that he had all that kale on him. And
-then again he'd come among us, diked out in the soup and fish, and flash
-the roll, for no other reason that I know except he enjoyed seeing us
-get the blind staggers, which we always did. And then he'd fuss with it
-and pet it and go into a dream over it, and wake up again and grin and
-talk about life with old Mary. And they agreed about life; you never
-heard two more moral persons exchange views. It was sometimes as good as
-a Sunday-school to listen to them for half an hour.
-
-“One night, when they had been gassing for a while, they sort of got my
-goat, and I said to him:
-
-“'Mr. Singleton, does it ever strike you as a little peculiar that you
-should have so much money and so many other people, such as myself, none
-at all?'
-
-“'No, Ed,' he says. 'No, it doesn't. That's the Lord's way, Ed! Money is
-given as a sacred trust by the Lord to them that are best fitted to have
-and to hold.'
-
-“'Meaning,' I asked him, 'that if you were ever to let loose of any of
-it, it might work harm in the world?'
-
-“He chewed over that for quite a while, as if he saw something personal
-in it, and he gave me a ten-dollar bill for a Christmas present. He
-isn't as stingy as some people say he is; he just looks so stingy that
-if he was the most liberal man on earth he would get the reputation of
-being stingy.
-
-“The lady's maid that I used to go to the opera with quit me a little
-while after Christmas. She and I were walking around the promenade
-between the acts one night at the Metropolitan and Larry was with
-us, when a fellow stopped Larry and spoke to him. I could see the guy
-looking at the girl and me as he and Larry talked. Later, Larry told me
-that it was one of Jake Hergsheimer's friends, and he had been a little
-bit surprised to see Larry at the opera all diked out, and he had wanted
-to know who the girl was.
-
-“Well, anyhow, she never went to the opera with me after that; but a few
-weeks later I saw her at a cabaret with Jake's friend. It was a grief to
-me; but I got into some real trouble, or let it get into me, about
-the same time, and that helped take the sting off. I had once been
-married--but there's no use going into all that. Anyhow, when the
-marriage kind o' wore off, my own folks took my wife's side of the case
-and she went to live with them. My old dad was sick, and they needed
-money, and my wife wrote to me that she was willing to let bygones be
-bygones and accept some money from me, and that my parents felt the same
-way, and there was a kid, too, that my folks were bringing up.
-
-“Well, I was desperate for some way to get hold of some cash and send
-to them. In the end, I took one of Jake Hergsheimer's silver vases and
-hocked it and sent the money, and got it out of hock two or three months
-later; but in the meantime there was a spell when I was so hard pressed
-it looked to me like I would actually have to do something dishonest to
-get that money.
-
-“One night, before Jake Hergsheimer came to my rescue and lent me that
-silver vase, if you want to call it that, I was sitting alone in the
-house thinking what a failure in life I was, and how rotten it was to
-have a wife and kid and parents all set against me, and drinking some of
-Jake's good booze, and getting more and more low in my mind, when there
-came a ring at the front doorbell. The butler was out, and old Mary was
-asleep way up in the top of the house, at the back, and wouldn't hear.
-
-“'I'll bet,' I said to myself, 'that's Old Man Singleton nosing around
-for his cabbage.' And I made up my mind I wouldn't let him in--he could
-ring till he froze to death on the front steps, and I wouldn't. It was
-a blustery, snowy January night, with new snow over the old ice
-underneath, and I says to myself, 'It's a wonder the old coot don't slip
-down and bust some of those big New England bones of his. And I wouldn't
-care much if he did.'
-
-“But he kept on ringing, and finally I thought I'd better go and let him
-in. I didn't have any ulterior notions when I went up the stairs from
-the servants' dining room and made for the front door. But the minute I
-clapped eyes on him I thought of all that kale in his pocket.
-
-“I opened the front door, but outside of that was an iron grille. It had
-a number of fastenings, but the final one was a short, heavy iron bar
-that lay in two sockets, one on each side of the opening.
-
-“I lifted the bar and swung the grille open.
-
-“'Ha! Hum!' said he, and sneezed. 'It's you, Ed, is it?'
-
-“And, snuffing and sneezing, he passed in front of me.
-
-“And as he passed by me that bar said something to my hand. And the hand
-raised up. It wasn't any of my doings, it was all the hand and the bar.
-It raised up, that bar did, right behind the old man's head. He stopped
-just outside the front door and flapped his big bony feet on a rug
-that was there, to get the snow off his shoes, and while he flapped and
-sneezed that bar was right over the old man's brain-box.
-
-“'Well,' I said to myself, 'here is your chance to be an honest man and
-a prosperous man, reunited with your wife and your kid and your folks
-at home, and not have to borrow anything from Jake Hergsheimer's
-collection--just one little tap on the old man's head, and down he goes,
-and he's got anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred and fifty
-thousand dollars in his clothes.'
-
-“'Yes,' said myself to me, 'one little tap, and maybe you kill him. What
-then? The electric chair, huh?'
-
-“'Hell!' I said to myself. 'Take a chance! The old man has so much money
-that what he has in his pocket means nothing to him one way or another.
-Larry's gone till morning, and the old woman won't wake for a long time.
-It means a little bit of a headache for Old Lemuel here, and it means
-your chance to lead an honest life hereafter and be a useful citizen and
-take care of those you have been neglecting.'
-
-“'Yes,' said myself to me, 'it's more moral to do it, and make your life
-over, but you never have been one for morality in the past. Besides,
-you'd kill him.'
-
-“And I might have killed him, boss. I wasn't sure of it then, but I've
-been sure of it since then. I was that strung up that I would have hit
-too hard.
-
-“And yet, I might _not_ have done so! I might have hit him just enough
-to put him out and make my get-away, and I might have led an honest life
-since then.
-
-“But at the moment I couldn't do it. I saw, all of a sudden, something
-funny. I saw the old man stamping his feet and getting the snow off, and
-I thought of him as a dead man, and I says to myself: 'How damned funny
-for a dead man to stamp the snow off his feet!' And I laughed.
-
-“'Heh? Heh? What did you say, Ed?' says the old man, and turns around.
-
-“I dropped the iron bar to my side, and that dead man came up out of the
-grave.
-
-“'Nothing, Mr. Singleton,' I said. 'I was just going to say, go on in,
-and I'll get a brush and clean the snow off of you.'
-
-“I said I saved his life from a man one time. Well, I was the man I
-saved his life from.
-
-“He went on in, and I barred the grille and locked the door, and we went
-on down to the dining room. I was shaking, and still I wasn't easy in my
-mind. I told him there wasn't anybody home but me, and he said he'd take
-a drop of Jake's brandy. And while I was opening a bottle of it for him,
-what does he do but pull out that billfolder.
-
-“'For God's sake, Mr. Singleton,' I said, turning weak and sitting down
-in a chair all of a sudden, 'put that money up.'
-
-“He sat there and sipped his brandy and talked, but I didn't hear what
-he was saying. I just looked at him, and kept saying to myself, should I
-have done it? Or should I have let him go by?
-
-“Boss, that was nearly ten years ago, and I've been asking myself that
-question from time to time ever since. Should I have done it? Was it
-moral to refuse that chance to make my life over again? You know me,
-kid. You know some of me, at least. You know I don't hold much by
-morals. If I was to tell you how I got that bullet under my kneecap,
-you'd know me better than _you_ do. If I had hit him just right and made
-my get-away, I would have led a different life.
-
-“And I wouldn't now be 'waiting for my death sentence. For that's
-practically what this prohibition thing means to me. I can't work at
-anything but this. And this is through with. And I'm through with. I'm a
-bum from now on. There's no use kidding myself; I'm a bum.
-
-“And yet, often, I'm glad I didn't do it.”
-
-Ed brooded in silence for a while.
-
-And then I said, “It's strange he didn't know you.”
-
-“It's been ten years,” said Ed, “and you saw that the old man's got
-to the doddering stage. He likely wouldn't know his own children if he
-didn't see them every day or two.”
-
-“I suppose,” I said, “that the old man feels he is ending his days in a
-very satisfactory manner--the national prohibition thing triumphant, and
-all that.”
-
-“How do you mean?” asked Ed.
-
-“Don't you know?” I said. “Why, Old Man Singleton, it is said, helped
-to finance the fight, and used his money and his influence on other big
-money all over the country in getting next to doubtful politicians and
-putting the thing through the state legislatures. I don't mean there
-was anything crooked about it anywhere, but he was one of the bunch that
-represented organized power, and put the stunt across while the liquor
-interests were still saying national prohibition could never come.”
-
-“The hell he did!” said Ed. “I didn't know he was mixed up with it. I
-never saw him take a drink, now that I remember, except the brandy on
-the night I saved his life.”
-
-“Old Man Singleton,” I said, “is credited with having had more to do
-with it than any other one person, by those who are on the inside.”
-
-“The old coot!” said Ed. And then added wryly: “I hope he gets as stiff
-in his knee joint as I am and lives forever! He's made a bum of me!”
-
-It was three or four weeks after my talk with Ed that I read in the
-papers of a peculiar accident of which Old Man Singleton had been the
-victim. A head of cabbage, he said, had fallen out of a tree and hit him
-on his own head one evening as he was walking alone in Central Park. He
-had been dazed by the blow for a moment; and when he regained his feet
-a considerable sum of money which he had been carrying was gone. He was
-sure that he had been struck by a head of cabbage, for a head of cabbage
-lay on the pathway near him when he was helped to his feet. He did not
-pretend to be able to say how a head of cabbage could have gotten into
-one of the park trees.
-
-The police discredited his story, pointing out that likely the old
-man, who was near-sighted, had blundered against a tree in the dusk and
-struck his head. The head of cabbage, they told the reporters, could
-have had nothing to do with it; it could not have come into contact with
-his head at all, unless, indeed, some one had put it into a sack and
-swung it on him like a bludgeon; and this, the police said, was too
-absurd to be considered. For why should a crook use a head of cabbage,
-when the same results might have been attained with the more usual
-blackjack, stick or fist?
-
-Old Man Singleton was not badly hurt; and as regarded the loss of the
-money, he never said, nor did his family ever say, just how large the
-sum was. Mr. Singleton had the vague impression that after the cabbage
-fell out of the tree and hit him he had been helped to his feet by a man
-who limped and who said to him: “Kale is given to them that can best use
-it, to have and to hold.”
-
-He did not accuse this person, who disappeared before he was thoroughly
-himself again, of having found the money which had evidently dropped
-from his pocket when the cabbage fell from the tree and hit him, but
-he was suspicious, and he thought the police were taking the matter too
-lightly; he criticized the police in an interview given to the papers.
-The police pointed out the irrelevance of the alleged words of the
-alleged person who limped, and intimated that Mr. Singleton was
-irrational and should be kept at home evenings; as far as they were
-concerned, the incident was closed.
-
-But I got another slant at it, as Ed might have said. Last winter I was
-talking at my club with a friend just back from Cuba, where the rum is
-red and joy is unconfined.
-
-“I met a friend of yours,” he said, “by the name of Ed down there, who
-is running a barroom and seems to be quite a sport in his way. Sent his
-regards to you. Must have made it pay--seems to have all kinds of money.
-Named his barroom 'The Second Thought.' Asked him why. He said nobody
-knew but himself, and he was keeping it a secret--though you might
-guess. Wants you to come down. Sent you a message. Let's see: what was
-it? Oh, yes! Cryptic! Very cryptic! Wrote it down--here it is: '_Kale!
-Kale! The gang's all here_.' Make anything out of it? I can't.”
-
-I could, though I didn't tell him what. But I shall not visit Ed in
-Cuba; I consider him an immoral person.
-
-
-
-
-VII--Bubbles
-
-
-I
-
-|Tommy Hawkins was not so sober that you could tell it on him. Certainly
-his friend Jack Dobson, calling on him one dreary winter evening--an
-evening of that winter before John Barleycorn cried maudlin tears into
-his glass and kissed America good-by--would never have guessed it from
-Tommy's occupation. Presenting himself at Tommy's door and finding it
-unlocked, Jack had gone on in. A languid splashing guided him to the
-bathroom. In the tub sat Tommy with the water up to his shoulders,
-blowing soap bubbles.
-
-“You darned old fool!” said Jack. “Aren't you ever going to grow up,
-Tommy?”
-
-“Nope,” said Tommy placidly. “What for?” Sitting on a chair close by
-the bathtub was a shallow silver dish with a cake of soap and some
-reddish-colored suds in it. Tommy had bought the dish to give some one
-for a wedding present, and then had forgotten to send it.
-
-“What makes the suds red?” asked Jack.
-
-“I poured a lot of that nose-and-throat spray stuff into it,” explained
-Tommy. “It makes them prettier. Look!”
-
-As a pipe he was using a piece of hollow brass curtain rod six or eight
-inches long and of about the diameter of a fat lead pencil. He soused
-this thing in the reddish suds and manufactured a bubble with elaborate
-care. With a graceful gesture of his wet arm he gently waved the rod
-until the bubble detached itself. It floated in the air for a moment,
-and the thin, reddish integument caught the light from the electric
-globe and gave forth a brief answering flash as of fire. Then the bubble
-suddenly and whimsically dashed itself against the wall and was no more,
-leaving a faint, damp, reddish trace upon the white plaster.
-
-“Air current caught it,” elucidated Tommy with the air of a circus
-proprietor showing off pet elephants. In his most facetious moments
-Tommy was wont to hide his childish soul beneath an exterior of serious
-dignity. “This old dump is full of air currents. They come in round
-the windows, come in round the doors, come right in through the
-walls. Damned annoying, too, for a scientist making experiments with
-bubbles--starts a bubble and never knows which way it's going to jump.
-I'm gonna complain to the management of this hotel.”
-
-“You're going to come out of that bathtub and get into your duds,” said
-Jack. “That water's getting cool now, and between cold water and air
-currents you'll have pneumonia the first thing you know--you poor silly
-fish, you.”
-
-“Speaking of fish,” said Tommy elliptically, “there's a bottle of
-cocktails on the mantel in the room there. Forgot it for a moment. Don't
-want to be inhospitable, but don't drink all of it.”
-
-“It's all gone,” said Dobson a moment later.
-
-“So?” said Tommy in surprise. “That's the way with cocktails. Here
-one minute and gone the next--like bubbles. Bubbles! Life's like that,
-Jack!” He made another bubble with great solemnity, watched it float and
-dart and burst. “Pouf!” he said. “Bubbles! Bubbles! Life's like that!”
-
-“You're an original philosopher, you are,” said Jack, seizing him by the
-shoulders. “You're about as original as a valentine. Douse yourself
-with cold water and rub yourself down and dress. Come out of it, kid, or
-you'll be sick.”
-
-“If I get sick,” said Tommy, obeying, nevertheless, “I won't have to go
-to work to-morrow.”
-
-“Why aren't you working to-day?” asked his friend, working on him with a
-coarse towel.
-
-“Day off,” said Tommy.
-
-“Day off!” rejoined Dobson. “Since when has the _Morning Despatch_
-been giving two days off a week to its reporters? You had your day off
-Tuesday, and this is Thursday.”
-
-“Is it?” said Tommy. “I always get Tuesday and Thursday mixed. Both
-begin with a T. Hey, Jack, how's that? Both begin with a T! End with a
-tea party! Good line, hey, Jack? Tuesday and Thursday both begin with
-a T and end with a tea party. I'm gonna write a play round that, Jack.
-Broadway success! Letters a foot high! Royalties for both of us! I won't
-forget you, Jack! You suggested the idea for the plot, Jack. Drag you
-out in front of the curtain with me when I make my speech. 'Author!
-Author!' yells the crowd. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'here is the
-obscure and humble person who set in motion the train of thought that
-led to my writing this masterpiece. Such as he is, I introduce him to
-you.'”
-
-“Shut up!” said Jack, and continued to lacerate Tommy's hide with the
-rough towel. “Hold still! Now go and get into your clothes.” And as
-Tommy began to dress he regarded that person darkly. “You're a brilliant
-wag, you are! It's a shame the way the copy readers down on the
-_Despatch_ keep your best things out of print, you splattering
-supermudhen of journalism, you! You'll wake up some morning without any
-more job than a kaiser.” And as Tommy threaded himself into the mystic
-maze of his garments Mr. Dobson continued to look at him and mutter
-disgustedly, “Bubbles!”
-
-Not that he was afraid that Tommy would actually lose his job. If it had
-been possible for Tommy to lose his job that must have happened years
-before. But Tommy wrote a certain joyous type of story better than any
-other person in New York, and his facetiousness got him out of as many
-scrapes as it got him into. He was thirty years old. At ninety he would
-still be experimenting with the visible world in a spirit of random
-eagerness, joshing everything in it, including himself. He looked
-exactly like the young gentleman pictured in a widely disseminated
-collar advertisement. He enjoyed looking that way, and occasionally he
-enjoyed talking as if he were exactly that kind of person. He loved to
-turn his ironic levity against the character he seemed to be, much as
-the mad wags who grace the column of F. P. A. delight in getting their
-sayings across accompanied by a gentle satirical fillip at all mad
-waggery.
-
-“Speaking of bubbles,” he suddenly chuckled as he carefully adjusted his
-tie in the collar that looked exactly like the one in the advertisement,
-“there's an old party in the next room that takes 'em more seriously
-than you do, Jack.”
-
-The old downtown hotel in which Tommy lived had once been a known and
-noted hostelry, and persons from Plumville, Pennsylvania, Griffin,
-Georgia, and Galva, Illinois, still stopped there when in New York,
-because their fathers and mothers had stopped there on their wedding
-journeys perhaps. It was not such a very long way from the Eden Musee,
-when there was an Eden Musee. Tommy's room had once formed part of a
-suite. The bathroom which adjoined it had belonged jointly to another
-room in the suite. But now these two rooms were always let separately.
-Still, however, the bathroom was a joint affair. When Tommy wished to
-bathe he must first insure privacy by hooking on the inside the door
-that led into the bathroom from the chamber beyond.
-
-“Old party in the next room?” questioned Jack.
-
-“Uh-huh,” said Tommy, who had benefited by his cold sluicing and his
-rubdown. “I gave him a few bubbles for his very own--through the keyhole
-into his room, you know. Poked that brass rod through and blew the
-bubble in his room. Detached it with a little jerk and let it float.
-Seemed more sociable, you know, to let him in on the fun. Never be
-stingy with your pleasures, Jack. Shows a mean spirit--a mean soul. Why
-not cheer the old party up with soap bubbles? Cost little, bubbles
-do. More than likely he's a stranger in New York. Unfriendly city, he
-thinks. Big city. Nobody thinks of him. Nobody cares for him. Away from
-home. Winter day. Melancholy. Well, I say, give him a bubble now and
-then. Shows some one is thinking of him. Shows the world isn't so
-thoughtless and gloomy after all. Neighborly sort of thing to do, Jack.
-Makes him think of his youth--home--mother's knee--all that kind of
-thing, Jack. Cheers him up. Sat in the tub there and got to thinking
-of him. Almost cried, Jack, when I thought how lonely the old man must
-be--got one of these old man's voices. Whiskers. Whiskers deduced from
-the voice. So I climbed out of the tub every ten or fifteen minutes all
-afternoon and gave the old man a bubble. Rain outside--fog, sleet. Dark
-indoors. Old man sits and thinks nobody loves him. Along comes a bubble.
-Old man gets happy. Laughs. Remembers his infancy. Skies clear. You
-think I'm a selfish person, Jack? I'm not. I'm a Samaritan. Where will
-we eat?”
-
-“You are a darned fool,” said Jack. “You say he took them seriously?
-What do you mean? Did he like 'em?”
-
-“Couldn't quite make out,” said Tommy. “But they moved him. Gasped every
-now and then. Think he prayed. Emotion, Jack. Probably made him think
-of boyhood's happy days down on the farm. Heard him talking to himself.
-Think he cried. Went to bed anyhow with his clothes on and pulled the
-covers over his head. Looked through the keyhole and saw that. Gray
-whiskers sticking up, and that's all. Deduced the whiskers from the
-voice, Jack. Let's give the old party a couple more bubbles and then go
-eat. It's been an hour since he's had one. Thinks I'm forgetting him, no
-doubt.”
-
-So they gave the old man a couple of bubbles, poking the brass rod
-through the keyhole of the door.
-
-The result was startling and unexpected. First there came a gasp from
-the other room, a sort of whistling release of the breath, and an
-instant later a high, whining, nasal voice.
-
-“Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God! You meant it!”
-
-The two young men started back and looked at each other in wonderment.
-There was such a quivering agony, such an utter groveling terror in this
-voice from the room beyond that they were daunted.
-
-“What's eating him?” asked Dobson, instinctively dropping his tones to a
-whisper.
-
-“I don't know,” said Tommy, temporarily subdued. “Sounds like that last
-one shell-shocked him when it exploded, doesn't it?”
-
-But Tommy was subdued only for a moment.
-
-As they went out into the corridor he giggled and remarked, “Told you he
-took 'em seriously, Jack.”
-
-
-
-II
-
-“Seriously” was a word scarcely strong enough for the way in which the
-old party in the room beyond had taken it, though he had not, in fact,
-seen the bubble. He had only seen a puff of smoke coming apparently from
-nowhere, originating in the air itself, as it seemed to him, manifesting
-itself, materializing itself out of nothing, and floating in front of
-the one eye which was peeping fearfully out of the huddled bedclothing
-which he had drawn over himself. He had lain quaking on the bed, waiting
-for this puff of smoke for an hour or more, hoping against hope that it
-would not come, praying and muttering, knotting his bony hands in the
-whiskers that Tommy had seen sticking up from the coverings, twisting
-convulsively.
-
-Tommy had whimsically filled the bubble, as he blew it, with smoke
-from his cigarette. He had in like manner, throughout the afternoon and
-early-evening, filled all the bubbles that he had given the old man
-with cigarette or pipe smoke. The old party had not been bowled over
-by anything in Tommy's tobacco. He had not noticed that the smoke was
-tobacco smoke, for he had been smoking a pipe himself the greater part
-of the day, and had not aired out the room. It was neither bubbles nor
-tobacco that had flicked a raw spot on his soul. It was smoke.
-
-
-
-III
-
-Bubbles! They seemed to be in Tommy's brain. Perhaps it was the
-association of ideas that made him think of champagne. At any rate he
-declared that he must have some, and vetoed his friend's suggestion that
-they dine--as they frequently did--at one of the little Italian table
-d'hote places in Greenwich Village.
-
-“You're a bubble and I'm a bubble and the world is a bubble,” Tommy
-was saying a little later as he watched the gas stirring in his golden
-drink.
-
-They had gone to the genial old Brevoort, which was--but why tell
-persons who missed the Brevoort in its mellower days what they missed,
-and why cause anguished yearnings in the bosoms of those who knew it
-well?
-
-“Tommy,” said his friend, “don't, if you love me, hand out any more of
-your jejune poeticism or musical-comedy philosophy. I'll agree with you
-that the world is a bubble for the sake of argument, if you'll change
-the record. I want to eat, and nothing interferes with my pleasure in
-a meal so much as this line of pseudocerebration that you seem to have
-adopted lately.”
-
-“Bubbles seem trivial things, Jack,” went on Tommy, altogether
-unperturbed. “But I have a theory that there aren't any trivial things.
-I like to think of the world balancing itself on a trivial thing. Look
-at the Kaiser, for instance. A madman. Well, let's say there's been a
-blood clot in his brain for years--a little trivial thing the size of a
-pin point, Jack. It hooks up with the wrong brain cell; it gets into
-the wrong channel, and--pouf! The world goes to war. A thousand million
-people are affected by it--by that one little clot of blood no bigger
-than a pin point that gets into the wrong channel. An atom! A planet
-balanced on an atom! A star pivoting on a molecule!”
-
-“Have some soup,” said his friend.
-
-“Bubbles! Bubbles and butterflies!” continued Tommy. “Some day, Jack,
-I'm going to write a play in which a butterfly's wing brushes over an
-empire.”
-
-“No, you're not,” said Jack. “You're just going to talk about it and
-think you're writing it and peddle the idea round to everybody you know,
-and then finally some wise guy is going to grab it off and really write
-it. You've been going to write a play ever since I knew you.”
-
-“Yes, I am; I'm really going to write that play.”
-
-“Well, Tommy,” said Jack, looking round the chattering dining room,
-“this is a hell of a place to do it in!”
-
-“Meaning, of course,” said Tommy serenely, “that it takes more than a
-butterfly to write a play about a butterfly.”
-
-“You get me,” said his friend. And then after a pause he went on with
-sincerity in his manner: “You know I think you could write the play,
-Tommy. But unless you get to work on some of your ideas pretty soon, and
-buckle down to them in earnest, other people will continue to write your
-plays--and you will continue to josh them and yourself, and your friends
-will continue to think that you could write better plays if you would
-only do it. People aren't going to take you seriously, Tommy, till you
-begin to take yourself a little seriously. Why, you poor, futile, silly,
-misguided, dear old mutt, you! You don't even have sense enough--you
-don't have the moral continuity, if you follow me--to stay sore at a man
-that does you dirt! Now, do you?”
-
-“Oh, I don't know about that,” said Tommy a little more seriously.
-
-“Well now, do you?” persisted his friend. “I don't say it's good
-Christian doctrine not to forgive people. It isn't. But I've seen people
-put things across on you, Tommy, and seen you laugh it off and let 'em
-be friends with you again inside of six weeks. I couldn't do it, and
-nine-tenths of the fellows we know couldn't do it; and in the way you
-do it it shouldn't be done. You should at least remember, even if you do
-forgive; remember well enough not to get bit by the same dog again. With
-you, old kid, it's all a part of your being a butterfly and a bubble.
-It's no particular virtue in you. I wouldn't talk to you like a Dutch
-uncle if I didn't think you had it in you to make good. But you've got
-to be prodded.”
-
-“There's one fellow that did me dirt,” said Tommy musingly, “that I've
-never taken to my bosom again.”
-
-“What did you do to him?” asked his friend. “Beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, Tommy, or blow him out of existence with a soap
-bubble?”
-
-“I've never done anything to him,” said Tommy soberly. “And I don't
-think I ever would do anything to him. I just remember, that's all. If
-he ever gets his come-uppance, as they say in the rural districts, it
-won't be through any act of mine. Let life take revenge for me. I never
-will.”
-
-“I suppose you're right,” said Dobson. “But who was this guy? And what
-did he do to you?”
-
-
-
-IV
-
-“He was--and is--my uncle,” said Tommy, “and he did about everything
-to me. Listen! You think I do nothing but flitter, flutter, frivol and
-flivver! And you may be right, and maybe I never will do anything else.
-Maybe I never will be anything but a kid.
-
-“I was young when I was born. No, that's not one of my silly lines,
-Jack. I mean it seriously. I was young when I was born. I was born with
-a jolly disposition. But this uncle of mine took it out of me. I'll say
-he did! The reason I'm such a kid now, Jack, is because I had to grow up
-when I was about five years old, and I stayed grown up until I was
-seventeen or eighteen. I never had a chance to be a boy. If I showed any
-desire to be it was knocked out of me on the spot. And if I live two
-hundred years, and stay nineteen years old all that time, Jack, I won't
-any more than make up for the childhood I missed--that was stolen from
-me. Frivol? I could frivol a thousand years and not dull my appetite. I
-want froth, Jack: froth and bubbles!
-
-“This old uncle of mine--he wasn't so old in years when I first knew
-him, but in his soul he was as old as the overseers who whipped the
-slaves that built Cheops' pyramid, and as sandy and as flinty--hated me
-as soon as he saw me. He hated me before he saw me. He would have hated
-me if he had never seen me, because I was young and happy and careless.
-
-“I was that, when I went to live with him--young and happy and careless.
-I was five years old. He was my father's brother, Uncle Ezra was, and he
-beat my father out of money in his dirty, underhanded way. Oh, nothing
-illegal! At least, I suppose not. Uncle Ezra was too cautious to do
-anything that might be found out on him. There was nothing that my
-mother could prove, at any rate, and my father had been careless and had
-trusted him. When my father died my mother was ill. He gave us a home,
-Uncle Ezra did. She had to live somewhere; she had to have a roof over
-her head and attention of some sort. She had no near relations, and I
-had to be looked after.
-
-“So she and I went into his house to live. It was to be temporary. We
-were to move as soon as she got better. But she did not live long. I
-don't remember her definitely as she was before we went to live with
-Uncle Ezra. I can only see her as she lay on a bed in a dark room before
-she died. It was a large wooden bed, with wooden slats and a straw
-mattress. I can see myself sitting on a chair by the head of the bed and
-talking to her. My feet did not reach to the floor by any means; they
-only reached to the chair rungs. I can't remember what she said or what
-I said. All I remember of her is that she had very bright eyes and that
-her arms were thin. I remember her arms, but not her face, except the
-eyes. I suppose she used to reach her arms out to me. I think she
-must have been jolly at one time, too. There is a vague feeling, a
-remembrance, that before we went to Uncle Ezra's she was jolly, and
-that she and I laughed and played together in some place where there was
-red-clover bloom.
-
-“One day when I was siting on the chair, the door opened and Uncle Ezra
-came in. There was some man with him that was, I suppose, a doctor.
-I can recall Uncle Ezra's false grin and the way he put his hand on my
-head--to impress the doctor, I suppose--and the way I pulled away from
-him. For I felt that he disliked me, and I feared and hated him.
-
-“Yes, Uncle Ezra gave us a home. I don't know how much you know about
-the rural districts, Jack. But when an Uncle Ezra in a country town
-gives some one a home he acquires merit. This was a little town in
-Pennsylvania that Pm talking about, and Uncle Ezra was a prominent
-citizen--deacon in the church and all that sort of thing. Truly rural
-drama stuff, Jack, but I can't help that--it's true. Uncle Ezra had a
-reputation for being stingy and mean. Giving us a home was a good card
-for him to play. My mother had a little money, and he stole that, too,
-when she died.
-
-“I suppose he stole it legally. I don't know. It wasn't much. No one had
-any particular interest in looking out for me, and nobody would want to
-start anything in opposition to Uncle Ezra in that town if it could be
-helped anyhow. He didn't have the whole village and the whole of the
-farming country round about sewed up, all by himself, but he was one
-of the little group that did. There's a gang like that in every country
-town, I imagine. He was one of four or five big ducks in that little
-puddle--lent money, took mortgages and all that kind of thing you read
-about. I don't know how much he is worth now, counting what he has
-been stealing all his life. But it can't be a staggering sum. He's too
-cowardly to plunge or take a long chance. He steals and saves and grinds
-in a little way. He is too mean and small and blind and limited in his
-intelligence to be a big, really successful crook, such as you will find
-in New York City.
-
-“When my mother died, of course, I stayed with Uncle Ezra. I suppose
-everybody said how good it was of him to keep me, and that it showed a
-soft and kindly spot in his nature after all, and that he couldn't be so
-hard as he had the name of being. But I don't see what else could have
-been done with me, unless he had taken me out and dropped me in the mill
-pond like a blind cat. Sometimes I used to wish he had done that.
-
-“It isn't hard to put a five-year-old kid in the wrong, so as to make it
-appear--even to the child himself--that he is bad and disobedient. Uncle
-Ezra began that way with me. I'm not going into details. This isn't a
-howl; it's merely an explanation. But he persecuted me in every way. He
-put me to work before I should have known what work was--work too hard
-for me. He deviled me and he beat me, he clothed me like a beggar and he
-fed me like a dog, he robbed me of childhood and of boyhood. I won't go
-over the whole thing.
-
-“I never had decent shoes, or a hat that wasn't a rag, and I never went
-to kid parties or anything, or even owned so much as an air rifle of my
-own. The only pair of skates I ever had, Jack, I made for myself out of
-two old files, with the help of the village blacksmith--and I got licked
-for that. Uncle Ezra said I had stolen the files and the straps. They
-belonged to him.
-
-“But there's one thing I remember with more of anger than any other. He
-used to make me kneel down and pray every night before I went to bed,
-in his presence; and sometimes he would pray with me. He was a deacon in
-the church. There are plenty of them on the square--likely most of them
-are. But this one was the kind you used to see in the old-fashioned
-melodramas. Truly rural stuff, Jack. He used to be quite a shark at
-prayer himself, Uncle Ezra did. I can remember how he looked when he
-prayed, with his eyes shut and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down and
-the sound whining through his nose.
-
-“The only person that was ever human to me was a woman I called Aunt
-Lizzie. I don't know really what relation she wras to me; a distant
-cousin of Uncle Ezra's, I think. She was half blind and she was deaf,
-and he bullied her and made her do all the housework. She was bent
-nearly double with drudgery. He had given her a home, too. She didn't
-dare be very good to me. He might find it out, and then we both would
-catch it. She baked me some apple dumplings once on one of my birthdays.
-I was nine years old. And he said she had stolen the apples and flour
-from him; that he had not ordered her to make any apple dumplings,
-and it was theft; and he made me pray for her, and made her pray for
-herself, and he prayed for both of us in family prayers every day for a
-week.
-
-“I was nearly eighteen when I ran away. I might have done it sooner, but
-I was small for my age, and I was cowed. I didn't dare to call my soul
-my own, and I had a reputation for being queer, too. For I used to grin
-and laugh at things no one else thought were funny--when Uncle Ezra
-wasn't round. I suppose people in that town thought it was odd that I
-could laugh at all. No one could understand how I had a laugh left in
-me. But when I was alone I used to laugh. I used to laugh at myself
-sometimes because I was so little and so queer. When I was seventeen I
-wasn't much bigger than a thirteen-year-old kid should be. I packed a
-lot of growing into the years between seventeen and twenty-one.
-
-“When I ran away Aunt Lizzie gave me eighty-seven cents, all in nickels
-and pennies, and there were two or three of those old-fashioned two-cent
-pieces in it, too, that she had had for God knows how long. It was
-all she had. I don't suppose he ever paid her anything at all, and the
-wonder was she had that much. I told her that when I got out into the
-world and made good I would come and get her, but she shivered all over
-with fright at the idea of daring to leave. I have sent her things from
-time to time in the last ten years--money, and dresses I have bought
-for her, and little things I thought she would like. But I don't know
-whether he let her have them or not I never got any letter from her at
-all. I don't even know whether she can write, to tell the truth, and she
-wouldn't dare get one of the neighbors to write for her. But if I ever
-make any real money, Jack, I am going to go and get her, whether she
-dares to come away or not.
-
-“Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle
-Ezra hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a
-town where there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep
-school attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and
-college in five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute
-I got away from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The
-clouds rolled by and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned
-into a kid. I romped through that prep school and that college, and made
-my own living while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved
-the world and everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes
-to a duck. I came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a
-chance as a reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
-
-“I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
-good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
-want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much
-I'm never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have
-a dream that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little
-town, and that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
-
-“Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New
-York to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that
-place, and I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If
-he ever really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
-
-“You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used
-to be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
-
-“Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
-enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll
-ever change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't
-know that I'd ever do anything to him if I did--beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested.
-Let him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is.
-I wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other--not even a
-puff of cigarette smoke.”
-
-He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
-finished, and then he remarked, “Let's go somewhere and dance.”
-
-“Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown,” suggested Jack, “and I have a couple
-of tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little.”
-
-“Nope,” said Tommy. “Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
-Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden.”
-
-
-
-V
-
-But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
-beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
-sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
-saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
-
-The old party in the room next to Tommy's at the hotel had arrived the
-day before, with an umbrella, a straw suitcase and a worried eye on
-either side his long, white, chalkish, pitted nose. He seemed chilly
-in spite of his large plum-colored overcoat, of a cut that has survived
-only in the rural districts. He wore a salient, assertive beard, that
-had once been sandy and was now almost white, but it was the only
-assertive thing about him. His manner was far from aggressive.
-
-An hour after he had been shown to his room he appeared at the desk
-again and inquired timidly of the clerk, “There's a fire near here?”
-
-“Little blaze in the next block. Doesn't amount to anything,” said the
-clerk.
-
-“I heard the--the engines,” said the guest apologetically.
-
-“Doesn't amount to anything,” said the clerk again. And then, “Nervous
-about fire?”
-
-The old party seemed startled.
-
-“Who? Me? Why should I be nervous about fire? No! No! No!” He beat a
-sudden retreat. “I was just asking--just asking,” he threw back over his
-shoulder.
-
-“Old duck's scared of fire and ashamed to own it,” mused the clerk,
-watching him out of the lobby.
-
-The old party went back to his room, and there one of the first
-things he saw was a copy of the Bible lying on the bureau. There is an
-organization which professes for its object the placing of a Bible in
-every hotel room in the land. The old party had his own Bible with him.
-As if reminded of it by the one on the bureau, he took it out of
-his suitcase and sat down and began to turn the leaves like a person
-familiar with the book--and like a person in need of comfort, as indeed
-he was.
-
-There was a text in Matthew that he sought--where was it? Somewhere in
-the first part of Matthew's gospel--ah, here it is: The twelfth chapter
-and the thirty-first verse:
-
-“All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men....”
-
-There is a terrible reservation in the same verse. He kept his eyes from
-it, and read the first part over and over, forming the syllables with
-his lips, but not speaking aloud.
-
-“All manner of sin--all manner of sin-------”
-
-And then, as if no longer able to avoid it, he yielded his consciousness
-to the latter clause of the verse:
-
-“But the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto
-men.”
-
-What was blasphemy against the Holy Ghost? Could what he had done be
-construed as that? Probably if one lied to God in his prayers, that was
-blasphemy against the Holy Ghost--one form of it. And had he been lying
-to God these last two weeks when he had said over and over again in his
-prayers that it was all a mistake? It hadn't been all a mistake, but the
-worst part of it had been a mistake.
-
-He went out for his dinner that evening, but he was in again before ten
-o'clock. He could not have slept well. At two o'clock in the morning he
-appeared in front of the desk.
-
-He had heard fire engines again.
-
-“See here,” said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
-done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
-fire, “you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
-we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy.”
-
-The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
-down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
-
-He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
-to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At
-noon he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the
-Eden Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had
-been closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture
-house round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet
-all together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party
-elected not to go out after all.
-
-He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
-descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
-brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
-himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no
-good. Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and
-was experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him
-and the agony would begin again.
-
-The old debate--he had burned the store, with the living quarters over
-it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
-insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
-wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was
-merely sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before
-that, when one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been
-forced to accept from the same insurance company less than was actually
-due him as a matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that
-company by a shrewd trick was in a way merely to get back his own again.
-It wasn't the sort of thing that a deacon in the church would care to
-have found out on him, of course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was
-the wrong that it had led to that worried him.
-
-It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn
-her to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
-
-He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
-cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was
-not to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must
-have crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she
-was there.
-
-“I didn't know! I didn't know!”
-
-There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
-
-It was at midnight that he had set fire to the place. The old woman was
-deaf. Even when the flames began to crackle she could not have heard
-them. She had had no more chance than a rat in a trap. The old fool! It
-was her own fault! Why had she not obeyed him? Why had she come creeping
-back, like a deaf old half-blind tabby cat, to die in the flames? It
-was her own fault! When he thought of the way she had returned to kill
-herself there were moments when he cursed and hated her.
-
-But had she killed herself? Back and forth swung the inner argument. At
-times he saw clearly enough that this incident joined on without a break
-to the texture of his whole miserable life; when he recognized that,
-though it might be an accident in a strictly literal sense that the old
-woman was dead, yet it was the sort of accident for which his previous
-existence had been a preparation. Even while he fiercely denied
-his guilt, or talked of it in a seizure of whining prayer that was
-essentially a lying denial, he knew that guilt there was.
-
-Would he be forgiven? There were comforting passages in the Bible. He
-switched on the rather insufficient electric light, which was all the
-old hotel provided, for the day was too dark to read without that help,
-and turned the pages of the New Testament through and through again.
-
-At three o'clock in the afternoon he was sitting on the edge of his bed,
-with the book open in front of him and his head bowed, almost dozing.
-His pipe, with which he had filled the room with the fumes of tobacco,
-had fallen to the floor. Perhaps it was weariness, but for a brief
-period his sharper sense of fear had been somewhat stilled again. Maybe
-it was going to be like this--a gradual easing off of the strain in
-answer to his prayers. He had asked God for an answer as to whether
-he should be forgiven, and God was answering in this way, so he told
-himself. God was going to let him get some sleep, and maybe when he woke
-everything would be all right again--bearable at least.
-
-So he mused, half asleep.
-
-And then all at once he sprang wide awake again, and his terror wakened
-with him. For suddenly in front of his half-shut eyes, coming from
-nowhere in particular, there passed a puff of smoke!
-
-What could it mean? He had asked God for an answer. He had been lulled
-for a moment almost into something like peace, and--now--this puff of
-smoke! Was it a sign? Was it God's answer?
-
-He sat up on the edge of the bed, rigid, in a cold, still agony of
-superstitious fright. He dared not move or turn his head. He was afraid
-that he would see--something--if he looked behind him. He was afraid
-that he would in another moment hear something--a voice!
-
-He closed his eyes. He prayed. He prayed aloud. His eyes once closed,
-he scarcely dared open them again. After seme minutes he began to tell
-himself that perhaps he had been mistaken; perhaps he had not seen smoke
-at all. Perhaps even if he had seen smoke it was due to some explicable
-cause, and not meant for him.
-
-He greatly dared. He opened his eyes. And drifting lazily above the
-white pillow at the head of the bed was another puff of smoke.
-
-He rocked back and forth upon the bed, with his arms up as if to shield
-his head from a physical blow, and then he passed in a moment from the
-quakings of fear to a kind of still certainty of doom. God was angry at
-him. God was telling him so. God would send the devil for him. There
-was no further doubt. He would go to hell--to hell! To burn forever!
-Forever--even as the old woman had burned for a quarter of an hour. He
-began to search through the pages of the Bible again, not for words of
-comfort this time, but in a morbid ecstasy of despair, for phrases about
-hell, for verses that mentioned fire and flames.
-
-He did not need the concordance. He knew his Bible well, and his fear
-helped him. Consciousness and subconsciousness joined to guide his
-fingers and eyes in the quest.
-
-“Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming,” he
-read in Isaiah, and he took it to himself.
-
-“Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and
-ye shall be melted in the midst thereof,” he read in Ezekiel.
-
-He had a literal imagination, and he had a literal belief, and at every
-repetition of the word “fire” the flesh cringed and crawled on his
-bones. God! To burn! How it must hurt!
-
-“And the God that answereth by fire, let Him be God,” met his eyes in
-the first book of Kings.
-
-And it all meant him. Now and then over his shoulder would float another
-little puff of smoke; and once, lifting his head suddenly from poring
-over the book, he thought he saw something that moved and glinted like a
-traveling spark, and was gone.
-
-He began to feel himself in hell already. This was the foretaste, that
-was all. Would he begin to burn even before he died? Did this smoke
-presage something of that kind? Would flames physically seize upon him,
-and would he burn, even as the old woman had burned?
-
-Suddenly in his hysteria there came a revulsion--a revolt. Having
-reached the nethermost depths of despair, he began to move upward a
-little. His soul stirred and took a step and tried to climb. He began to
-pray once more. After all, the Good Book did promise mercy! He began to
-dare to pray again. And he prayed in a whisper that now and then broke
-into a whine--a strange prayer, characteristic of the man.
-
-“Oh, God,” he cried, “you promise forgiveness in that book there, and
-I'm gonna hold you to it! I'm gonna hold you to it! It's down there in
-black and white, your own words, God, and I'm gonna hold you to it! It's
-a contract, God, and you ain't the kind of a man, God, to go back on a
-contract that's down in black and white!”
-
-Thus he prayed, with a naïve, unconscious blasphemy. And after long
-minutes of this sort of thing his soul dared take another step. A
-faint, far glimmering of hope came to him where he groveled. For he was
-groveling on the bed now, with the covers pulled up to his head and his
-hand upon the open Bible. He found the courage to peer from beneath the
-covers at intervals as he prayed and muttered, and minutes passed with
-no more smoke. Had the smoke ceased? The sound of his own murmuring
-voice began to reassure him. The smoke had certainly ceased! It had been
-twenty minutes since he had seen it--half an hour!
-
-What could it mean? That God was hearkening to his prayer?
-
-An hour went by, and still there was no more sign of smoke. He prayed
-feverishly, he gabbled, as if by the rapidity of his utterance and the
-repeated strokes of his words he were beating back and holding at bay
-the smoke that was God's warning and the symbol of his displeasure. And
-the smoke had ceased to come! He was to be forgiven! He was winning! His
-prayers were winning for him! At least God was listening!
-
-Yes, that must be it. God was listening now. The smoke had come as a
-warning; and he had, upon receiving this warning, repented. God had not
-meant, after all, that he was doomed irrevocably. God had meant that,
-to be forgiven, his repentance must be genuine, must be thorough--and
-it was thorough now. Now it was genuine! And the smoke had ceased! The
-smoke had been a sign, and he had heeded the sign, and now if he kept up
-his prayers and lived a good life in the future he was to be forgiven.
-He would not have to burn in hell after all.
-
-The minutes passed, and he prayed steadily, and every minute that went
-by and brought no further sign of the smoke built up in him a little
-more hope, another grain of confidence.
-
-An hour and a quarter, and he almost dared be sure that he was
-forgiven--but he was not quite sure. If he could only be quite sure! He
-wallowed on the bed, and his hand turned idly the pages of the Bible,
-lying outside on the coverlet.
-
-More than an hour had gone by. Could he accept it as an indication that
-God had indeed heard him? He shifted himself upon the bed, and stared
-up at the ceiling through a chink in the covers as if through and beyond
-the ceiling he were interrogating heaven.
-
-And lying so, there came a damp touch upon his hand, soft and chill and
-silent, as if it were delicately and ironically brushed by the kiss of
-Death. A sudden agony numbed his hand and arm. With the compulsion of
-hysteria, not to be resisted, his head lifted and he sat up and looked.
-Over the Bible and his hand that lay upon the open page there floated
-again a puff of smoke, and faintly staining his Angers and the paper
-itself was something moist and red. It stained his Angers and it marked
-with red for his straining sight this passage of Isaiah:
-
-“The earth also shall disclose her blood.”
-
-It was then he cried out, “Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God!
-You meant it.”
-
-It was nearly midnight when Tommy and his friend Dobson returned to the
-hotel. “Your paper's been trying to get you for an hour, Mr. Hawkins,”
- said the night clerk when they came in. “Story right in the next room to
-yours. Old party in there hanged himself.”
-
-“So?” said Tommy. “Ungrateful old guy, he is! I put in the afternoon
-trying to cheer him up a little.”
-
-“Did you know him?” asked the clerk.
-
-“Nope,” said Tommy, moving toward the elevator.
-
-But a few moments later, confronted with the grotesque spectacle in the
-room upstairs, he said, “Yes--I--I know him. Jack! Jack! Get me out of
-here, Jack! It's Uncle Ezra, Jack! He's--he's come for me!”
-
-As has been remarked before, sometimes even a bubble may be a mordant
-weapon.
-
-
-
-
-VIII.--The Chances of the Street
-
-
-|Merriwether Buck had lost all his money. Also his sisters', and his
-cousins', and his aunts'.
-
-“At two o'clock sharp I will shoot myself,” said Merriwether Buck.
-
-He caressed a ten-shot automatic pistol in the right-hand pocket of his
-coat as he loitered up Broadway. He was light-headed. He had had nothing
-to eat for forty-eight hours.
-
-“How I hate you!” said Merriwether Buck, comprehensively to the city in
-general. “If nine pistol shots would blot you out, I'd do it!”
-
-Very melodramatic language, this, for a well-brought-up young man; and
-thus indicating that he was light-headed, indeed. And as for the city,
-it continued to roar and rattle and honk and rumble and squeak and bawl
-and shuffle and thunder and grate in the same old way--supreme in its
-confidence that nine pistol shots could not, by any possibility, blot
-it out. That is one of the most disconcerting things about a city; you
-become enraged at it, and the city doesn't even know it. Unless you
-happen to be Nero it is very difficult to blot them out satisfactorily.
-
-It was one o'clock. Merriwether Buck crossed the street at Herald Square
-and went over and stood in front of the big newspaper office. A portly
-young fellow with leaden eyes came out of the building and stood
-meditatively on the curb with his hands in the pockets of clothing that
-clamored shrilly of expense.
-
-“Excuse me,” said Merriwether Buck, approaching him, “but are you, by
-any chance, a reporter?”
-
-“Uh,” grunted the young man, frigidly affirmative.
-
-“I can put you in the way of a good story,” said Merriwether Buck,
-obeying an impulse: We may live anonymously but most of us like to feel
-that it will make a little stir when we die.
-
-“Huh,” remarked the reporter.
-
-“At two o'clock,” persisted Merriwether Buck, “I am going to shoot
-myself.”
-
-The reporter looked bored; his specialty was politics.
-
-“Are you anybody in particular?” he asked, discouragingly.
-
-“No,” confessed Merriwether Buck. It didn't seem to be worth while to
-mention that he was one of the Bucks of Bucktown, Merriwether County,
-Georgia.
-
-“I thought,” said the reporter, with an air of rebuke, “that you said it
-was a _good_ story.”
-
-“I am, at least, a human being,” said Merriwether Buck, on the
-defensive.
-
-“They're cheap, hereabout,” returned the other, in the manner of a
-person who has estimated a good many assorted lots.
-
-“You are callous,” said Merriwether Buck. “Callous to the soul! What are
-you, but--but--Why, you are New York incarnate! That is what you are!
-And I think I will shoot you first!”
-
-“I don't want to be a spoil sport,” said the reporter, “but I'm afraid I
-can't allow it. I have a rather important assignment.”
-
-Merriwether played with the little automatic pistol in his pocket. It
-was not any regard for the consequences that deterred him from shooting
-the portly young man. But in his somewhat dizzy brain a fancy was taking
-shape; a whim worked in him. He drew his hand empty from the pocket, and
-that reporter came up out of the grave.
-
-“I am hungry,” said Merriwether Buck, in obedience to the whim.
-
-“Now that you remind me of it,” said the other, his lack-luster
-eyes lighting up a little, “so am I!” And he crossed the street and
-disappeared through the swinging doors of a café.
-
-Callous, leaden-eyed young man! epitome of this hard town! So cried the
-spirit of Merriwether Buck; and then he spoke aloud, formulating his
-idea:
-
-“New York, you are on trial. You are in the balances. I give you an
-hour. If I'm asked to lunch by two o'clock, all right. If not, I will
-kill myself, first carefully shooting down the most prosperous citizens,
-and as many of 'em as I can reach. New York, it's up to you!”
-
-The idea of playing it out that way tickled him to the heart; he had
-always loved games of chance. One man or woman out of all the prosperous
-thousands in the streets might save another prosperous half-dozen;
-might save as many as he could otherwise reach with nine shots from his
-pistol, for he would reserve the tenth for himself. Otherwise, there
-should be a sacrifice; he would offer up a blood atonement for the pagan
-city's selfishness. Giddy and feverish, and drunk with the sense of his
-power to slay, he beheld himself as a kind of grotesque priest--and he
-threw back his head and laughed at the maniac conceit.
-
-A woman who was passing turned at the sound, and their eyes met. She
-smiled. Merriwether Buck was good to look at. So was she. She was of
-that type of which men are certain at once, without quite knowing why;
-while women are often puzzled, saying to themselves: “After all, it may
-be only her rings.”
-
-“Pardon me,” said Merriwether Buck, overtaking her, “but you and I are
-to lunch together, aren't we?”
-
-“I like your nerve!” said she. And she laughed. It was evident that she
-did like it. “Where?” she asked briefly, falling into step beside him.
-
-“Wherever you like,” said Merriwether. “I leave that to you, as I'm
-depending on you to pay the check.”
-
-She began a doubtful laugh, and then, seeing that it wasn't a joke,
-repeated:
-
-“I like your nerve!” And it was now evident that she didn't like it.
-
-“See here,” he said, speaking rapidly, “my clothes look all right yet,
-but I'm broke. I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since day
-before yesterday. I'm not kidding you; it's true. You looked like a good
-fellow to me, and I took a chance. Hunger” (as he spoke it he seemed to
-remember having heard the remark before), “hunger makes one a judge of
-faces; I gambled on yours.”
-
-She wasn't complimented; she regarded him with a manner in which scorn
-and incredulity were blended; Merriwether Buck perceived that, for some
-reason or other, she was insulted.
-
-“Don't,” she said, “don't pull any of that sentimental stuff on me. I
-thought you was a gentleman!”
-
-And she turned away from him. He took a step in pursuit and started to
-renew his plea; for he was determined to play his game square and give
-the directing deities of the city a fair chance to soften whatsoever
-random heart they would.
-
-“Beat it!” she shrilled, “beat it, you cheap grafter, or I'll call a
-cop!”
-
-And Merriwether beat it; nor' by nor'west he beat it, as the street
-beats it; as the tides beat. The clock on the Times building marked 1.20
-as he paused by the subway station there. In forty minutes--just the
-time it takes to hook your wife's dress or put a girdle round the
-world--Merri-wether Buck would be beating it toward eternity, shooing
-before him a flock of astonished ghosts of his own making. Twenty
-minutes had gone by and whatever gods they be that rule New York had
-made no sign; perhaps said gods were out at lunch or gone to Coney
-Island. Twice twenty minutes more, and----
-
-But no. It is all over now. It must be. There emerges from the subway
-station one who is unmistakably a preacher. The creases of his face
-attest a smiling habit; no doubt long years of doing good have given it
-that stamp; the puffs of white hair above the temples add distinction to
-benignity.
-
-“I beg your pardon,” said Merriwether Buck, “but are you a minister?”
-
-“Eh?” said the reverend gentleman, adjusting a pair of gold-rimmed
-eyeglasses. “Yes,” he said pleasantly, “I am,” and he removed the
-glasses and put them back on once again, as he spoke. Somehow, the way
-he did it was a benediction.
-
-“I am hungry,” said Merriwether.
-
-“Dear me!” said the reverend gentleman. “I shouldn't have thought it.”
-
-“Will you ask me to lunch?”
-
-“Eh?” It was an embarrassing question; but the gentleman was all
-good nature. His air indicated that he did not intend to let his
-own embarrassment embarrass Merriwether too much. “My dear man, you
-know--really----” He placed a shapely hand upon Merriwether's shoulder,
-rallyingly, almost affectionately, and completed the sentence with a
-laugh.
-
-“It's charity I'm asking for,” said Merriwether.
-
-“Oh!” For some reason he seemed vastly relieved. “Have you been--but,
-dear me, are you sure you aren't joking?”
-
-“Yes; sure.”
-
-“And have you--ahem!--have you sought aid from any institution; any
-charitable organization, you know?”
-
-“But no,” said Merriwether, who had instinctively eliminated charitable
-organizations, free lunches and police stations from the terms of his
-wager, “I thought----”
-
-“My, my, my,” hummed the reverend gentleman, interrupting him. He
-produced his card case and took a card therefrom. “I am going,” he said,
-writing on the card with a pencil, “to give you my card to the secretary
-of the Combined Charities. Excellent system they have there. You'll be
-investigated, you know,” he said brightly, as if that were an especial
-boon he was conferring, “your record looked into--character and
-antecedents and all that sort of thing!”
-
-“And fed?” asked Merriwether.
-
-“Oh, indeed!” And he handed over the card as if he were giving
-Merriwether the keys to the city--but not too gross and material a city
-either; Merriwether felt almost as if he were being baptized.
-
-“But,” said Merriwether Buck, “I wanted _you_ to feed me!”
-
-“Oh, my dear man!” smiled the minister, “I _am_ doing it, you know. I'm
-a subscriber--do _all_ my charitable work this way. Saves time. Well,
-good-by.” And he nodded cheerily.
-
-“But,” said Merriwether Buck, “aren't you interested in me personally?
-Don't you want to hear my story?”
-
-“Story? Story?” hummed the other. “Indeed, but they'll learn your story
-there! They have the most excellent system there; card system; cases
-and case numbers, you know--Stories, bless you! Hundreds and hundreds of
-stories! Big file cases! You'll be number so-and-so. Really,” he said,
-with a beaming enthusiasm, “they have a _wonderful_ system. Well,
-good-by!” There was a touch of finality in his pleasant tone, but
-Merriwether caught him by the sleeve.
-
-“See here,” he said, “haven't you even got any _curiosity_ about
-me? Don't you even want to know why I'm hungry? Can't you find time
-_yourself_ to listen to the tale?”
-
-“Time,” said the reverend gentleman, “_time_ is just what I feel the
-lack of--feel it sadly, at moments like these, sadly.” He sighed, but it
-was an optimistic, good-humored sort of sigh. “But I tell you what you
-do.” He drew forth another card and scribbled on it. “If you want to
-tell me your story so very badly--(dear me, what remarkable situations
-the clerical life lets one in for!)--so _very_ badly, take this card
-to my study about 3.30. You'll find my stenographer there and you can
-dictate it to her; she'll type it out. Yes, indeed, she'll type it out!
-Well, _good_-by!”
-
-And with a bright backward nod he was off.
-
-It was 1.25. There were thirty-five minutes more of life. Merriwether
-Buck gave the reverend gentleman's cards to a seedy individual who
-begged from him, with the injunction to go and get himself charitably
-Bertilloned like a gentleman and stop whining, and turned eastward on
-Forty-second Street. If you have but thirty-five minutes of life, why
-not spend them on Fifth Avenue, where sightly things abound?--indeed
-if you happen to be a homicidal maniac of some hours standing, like
-Merriwether Buck, Fifth Avenue should be good hunting ground; the very
-place to mark the fat and greasy citizens of your sacrifice.
-
-Time, the only patrician, will not step lively for the pert subway
-guards of human need, nor yet slacken pace for any bawling traffic cop
-of man's desire; he comes of an old family too proud to rush, too proud
-to wait; a fine old fellow with a sense of his own value. Time walked
-with Merriwether Buck as he loitered up Fifth Avenue, for the old
-gentleman loves to assist personally at these little comedies,
-sometimes; with Death a hang-dog third. Not even a fly-cop took note of
-the trio, although several, if they robbed a jewelry store or anything
-like that, would tell the reporters later that they had noticed
-something suspicious at the time. And the patron deities of New York
-City might have been over in Hoboken playing pinochle for all the heed
-_they_ took.
-
-Which brings us to Sixty-fifth Street and 1.58 o'clock and the presence
-of the great man, all at once.
-
-When Merriwether Buck first saw him, Meriwether Buck gasped. He couldn't
-believe it. And, indeed, it was a thing that might not happen again this
-year or next year or in five years--J. Dupont Evans, minus bulwark or
-attendant, even minus his habitual grouch, walking leisurely toward him
-like any approachable and common mortal. Merriwether Buck might well be
-incredulous. But it was he; the presentment of that remarkable face has
-been printed a hundred thousand times; it is as well known to the world
-at large as Uncle Pete Watson's cork leg is on the streets of Prairie
-Centre, Ill.; it is unmistakable.
-
-To have J. Dupont Evans at the point of a pistol might almost intoxicate
-some sane and well-fed men, and Merriwether Buck was neither. J. Dupont
-Evans--the wealth of Croesus would be just one cracked white chip in the
-game he plays. But at this moment his power and his importance had been
-extraordinarily multiplied by circumstances. The chances of the street
-had tumbled down a half dozen banks--(well did Merriwether Buck know
-that, since it had ruined him)--and financial panic was in the air;
-an epochal and staggering disaster threatened; and at this juncture a
-president in no wise humble had publicly confessed his own impotence and
-put it up to J. Dupont Evans to avert, to save, to reassure.
-
-Merriwether Buck had not dreamed of this; in the crook of his trigger
-finger lay, not merely the life of a man, but the immediate destiny of a
-nation.
-
-He grasped the pistol in his pocket, and aimed it through the cloth.
-
-“Do you know what time it is?” he asked J. Dupont Evans, politely
-enough.
-
-It was only a second before the man answered. But in that second
-Merriwether Buck, crazily exalted, and avid of the sensation he was
-about to create, had a swift vision. He saw bank after bank come
-crashing down; great railroad systems ruined; factories closed and
-markets stagnant; mines shut and crops ungathered in the fields; ships
-idle at the wharves; pandemonium and ruin everywhere.
-
-“Huh?” said J. Dupont Evans, gruffly, removing an unlighted cigar from
-his mouth. He looked at Merriwether Buck suspiciously, and made as if to
-move on. But he thought better of it the next instant, evidently, for
-he pulled out a plain silver watch and said grudgingly: “Two minutes
-of two.” And then, in a tone less unpleasant, he asked: “Have you got a
-match, young man?”
-
-Merriwether fumbled in his vest pocket. In a minute and a half he would
-perfunctorily ask this man for lunch, and then he would kill him. But he
-would give him a match first--for Merriwether Buck was a well-brought-up
-young man. As he fumbled he picked out the exact spot on the other's
-waistcoat where he would plant the bullet. But the idea of a man on the
-edge of the grave lighting a cigar tickled him so that he laughed aloud
-as he held out the matches.
-
-“What can I do with these?” snorted J. Dupont Evans. “They are the sort
-that light only on their own box.” From his glance one might have gained
-the impression that he thought Merriwether Buck a fool.
-
-“Great principle that,” said Merriwether Buck, cackling with hysteria.
-It was so funny that a dead man should want to smoke a cigar! He would
-let him play he was alive for fifty seconds longer.
-
-“Principle?” said Evans. “Principle? What Principle?”
-
-“Well,” said Merriwether, with the random argumentativeness of insanity,
-“it _is_ a great principle. Apply that principle to some high explosive,
-for instance, and you have no more battleship flare-backs--no premature
-mine blasts----”
-
-“Say,” the other suddenly interrupted, “are you an inventor?”
-
-“Yes,” lied Merriwether Buck, glibly, although he had never given five
-seconds' thought to the subject of high explosives in his life. “That's
-how I know. I've invented an explosive more powerful than dynamite. But
-it won't explode by contact with fire, like powder. Won't explode with a
-jar, like dynamite. Won't freeze, like dynamite. Only one way to explode
-it--you've got to bring it into contact with a certain other chemical
-the same as scratching one of these matches on its own box.”
-
-“The deuce, young man!” said the other. “There's a fortune in it! Is it
-on the market at all?”
-
-“No,” said Merriwether Buck, raising his pistol hand slightly and
-thrusting it a bit forward, under the mask of his coat pocket, “no money
-to start it going.”
-
-“Hum,” mused the other. “I tell you what you do, young man. You come
-along to lunch with me and we'll talk the thing over--money and all.”
-
-And the directing deities of New York struck twice on all the city
-clocks, and striking, winked.
-
-
-
-
-IX.--The Professor's Awakening
-
-|How I ever come to hit such a swell-looking house for a handout I never
-knew. Not that there was anything so gaudy about it, neither, as far as
-putting up a bluff at being a millionaire's mansion went, which I found
-out afterwards it was, or pretty near that at any rate. But it was just
-about the biggest house in that Illinois town, and it's mostly that kind
-o' place with them naked iron heathens in the front yard and a brick
-stable behind that it ain't no use to go up against unless you're
-looking for a lemon. If you need real food and need it sudden and ain't
-prospecting around town for no other kind of an opening you better make
-for the nearest public works like a canal being dug, or a railroad gang.
-Hit the little tin dinner buckets, men that does the unskilled labor
-on jobs like that, except Swedes and Dagos, knowing what it is to be
-up against it themselves now and then and not inclined to ask no fool
-questions.
-
-Well, I went around to the back door, and Biddy Malone she lets me in. I
-found out that was her name afterwards, but as soon as I seen her face
-I guessed if her name wasn't Bridget it was Nora. It's all in the
-first look they give you after they open the door. If that look's right
-they're coming across and you'll get some kind of a surprise for your
-digestive ornaments and you don't need to make no fool breaks about
-sawing wood neither. I makes my little talk and Biddy she says come in;
-and into the kitchen I went.
-
-“It's Minnesota you're working towards,” says Biddy, pouring me out a
-cup of coffee.
-
-She was thinking of the wheat harvest where there's thousands makes for
-every fall. But not for me, I never did like to work for none of them
-Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians that gets into the field before
-daylight and stays at it so long the hired men got to milk the cows by
-moonlight. They got no sense of proportion, them Gusses and Oles ain't.
-
-“I been across the river into I'way,” I says, “working at my trade, and
-I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more.”
-
-“And what may your trade be?” says Biddy, sizing me up careful. I seen I
-made a hit somehow or she wouldn't of asked me in the first place was
-I going to the wheat harvest, but would of just supposed I was a hobo,
-which I ain't. I got a lot of trades when I want to use one, and as a
-regular thing I rather work at one of them for a while, too, but can't
-stand it very long on account of not feeling right to stay in one place
-too long, especially in the summer. When I seen I made a hit with Biddy
-I thinks I'll hand her a good one she never heard tell of before.
-
-“I'm an agnostic by trade,” I says. I spotted that one in a Carnegie
-library one time and that was the first chance I ever had to spring it.
-
-“I see,” says Biddy. And she opened her eyes and mouth to once. I seen
-she didn't see, but I didn't help her none. She would of rather killed
-herself than let on she didn't see. Most of the Irish is like that
-whether they is kitchen mechanics or what. After a while she says,
-pouring me out some more coffee and handing me a little glass jar full
-of watermelon rinds boiled in with molasses and things, she says:
-
-“And ain't that the dangerous thing to work at, though!”
-
-“It is,” I says, and says nothing further.
-
-She sets down and folds her arms like she was thinking about it,
-watching my hands all the time as if she was looking for scars where
-something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Finally she says with
-a sigh:
-
-“Sure, and it's dangerous! Me brother Patrick was kilt at it in the old
-country. He was the most vinturesome lad of thim all!”
-
-She was putting up a stiff front, and for a minute I don't know whether
-she's stringing me or I'm stringing her. The Irish is like that. So
-being through eating I says:
-
-“Did it fly up and hit him?”
-
-She looks at me scornful and tosses her chin up and says:
-
-“No. He fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what one of them
-is, after!”
-
-“What is it, then?” says I.
-
-“Then you _don't_ know,” says she; and the next thing I knew I'd been
-eased out the back door and she was grinning at me through the crack of
-it with superiousness all over her face.
-
-So I was walking slow around towards the front thinking to myself how
-the Irish was a great people; and shall I go to Chicago and maybe get a
-job sailing on the lakes till navigation closes, or shall I go back to
-Omaha and work in the railroad yards again, which I don't like much, or
-shall I go on down to Saint Looey just to see what's doing. And then I
-thinks: “Billy, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave
-you asleep with nothing over you but a barb wire fence this morning, and
-what are you going to do now? First thing you know you'll be a regular
-hobo, which some folks can't distinguish you ain't now.” And then I
-thinks I'll go down to the river and take a swim and lazy around in the
-grass a while and think things over and maybe something will happen.
-Anyways, you can always join the army. And just when I was thinking that
-I got by one of them naked stone heathens that was squirting water out
-of a sea shell and a guy comes down the front steps on the jump and nabs
-me by the coat collar. I seen he was a doctor or else a piano tuner by
-the satchel he dropped when he grabbed me.
-
-“Did you come out of this house?” he says.
-
-“I did,” I says, wondering what next.
-
-“Back in you goes,” he says, marching me towards the front steps.
-“They've got smallpox in there.”
-
-I liked to a-jumped loose when he said that, but he twisted my coat
-collar and dug his thumbs into my neck and I seen they wasn't no use
-pulling back. If a guy that's knocking around mixes up with one of the
-solid citizens the magistrate's going to give him the worst of it on
-principle. I ain't no hobo and never was, and never traveled much with
-none of them professional bums, but there has been times I had hard work
-making some people believe it. I seen I couldn't jerk away and I seen I
-couldn't fight and so I went along. He rung the door bell, and I says:
-
-“Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, doc.”
-
-“No?” says he. And the door opened, and in we went. The girl that opened
-it, she drew back when she seen me.
-
-“Tell Professor Booth that Dr. Wilkins wants to see him,” says the doc,
-not letting loose of me.
-
-And we stood there saying nothing till the per-fessor come in, which he
-did slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he stopped and took off a
-pair of thick glasses that was split in two like a mended show case, so
-he could see me better, and he says:
-
-“What is that you have there, Dr. Wilkins?”
-
-“A guest for you,” says Dr. Wilkins, grinning all over himself. “I
-caught him leaving the house, and you being under quarantine and me
-being secretary to the board of health, I'll have to ask you to keep him
-here until we can get Miss Margery on her feet again,” he says. Or they
-was words to that effect, as the lawyers asks you.
-
-“Dear me,” says Perfessor Booth, kind o' helplesslike.
-
-And he put his glasses on and took them off again, and come up close and
-looked at me like I was one of them amphimissourian specimens in a free
-museum. “Dear me,” he says, looking worrieder and worrieder all the
-time. And then he went to the foot of the stairs and pipes out in a
-voice that was so flat-chested and bleached-out it would a-looked just
-like him if you could a-saw it--“Estelle,” he says, “O Estelle!”
-
-I thinks the perfessor is one of them folks that can maybe do a lot
-of high-class thinking, but has got to have some one tell 'em what the
-answer is. But I doped him out wrong as I seen later on.
-
-Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big
-brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no
-spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her
-face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was
-a kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had
-hair down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was
-a girl or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me
-shiver, while the doctor and the per-fessor jaws about whose fault it is
-the smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening
-she says to the perfessor: “You had better go back to your laboratory.”
- And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him.
-
-“What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?” the kid asks her.
-
-“What would _you_ suggest, William Dear?” asks his aunt. I ain't feeling
-very comfortable, and I was getting all ready just to natcherally bolt
-out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be
-no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox.
-Fur I had ricolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated
-a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsory medical advice, me being
-temporary engaged in repair work on the city pavements through a mistake
-in the police court.
-
-William Dear looks at me when his aunt put it up to him just as solemn
-as if it was the day of judgment and his job was separating the fatted
-calves from the goats and the prodigals, and he says:
-
-“Don't you think, Aunt Estelle, we better cut his hair and bathe him and
-get him some clothes the first thing?”
-
-“William is my friend,” thinks I, and I seen right off he was one of
-them serious kids that you can't tell what is going on inside their
-heads.
-
-So she calls James, which was the butler, and James he buttled me into a
-bathroom the like of which I never see before; and he buttled me into a
-suit of somebody's clothes and into a room at the top of the house next
-to his'n, and then he come back and buttled a razor and a comb and brush
-at me; him being the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he
-informs me that me not being respectable I will eat alone in the kitchen
-after the servants is done. People has made them errors about me before.
-And I looks around the room and I thinks to myself that this is all
-right so far as it has went. But is these four walls, disregarding
-the rest of the house, to be my home, and them only? Not, thinks I, if
-little Billy knows it. It was not me that invited myself to become the
-guest of this family; and if I got to be a guest I be damned if I don't
-be one according to Hoyle's rules of etiquette or I'll quit the job.
-Will I stay in this one room? Not me. Suppose the perfessor takes it
-next? And then William Dear? And suppose when William Dear gets through
-with it he gives it to Aunt Estelle? Am I to waste the golden hours
-when, maybe, my country needs me, just for accommodation? But I thinks
-it's all right for a day or two and then I'll leave my regrets and go on
-down to Saint Looey or somewheres. And then James he buttles back into
-the room like a funeral procession and says the perfessor says he wants
-to see me in the laboratory.
-
-That was a big room and the darndest looking room I ever see, and it
-smelt strong enough to chase a Hungarian pig sticker out of a Chicago
-slaughter house. It smelt like a drug store had died of old age and got
-buried in a glue factory. I never seen so much scientific effusions and
-the things to hold 'em in mixed up in one place before. They must of
-been several brands of science being mixed up there all to once. They
-was dinky little stoves, they was glass jars of all shapes and sizes
-labeled with Dago names standing around on shelves like in one of them
-Dutch delicatessen stores; they was straight glass tubes and they was
-glass tubes that had the spinal contortions; they was bones and they
-was whole skeletons, and they was things that looked like whisky stills;
-they was a bookcase full of bugs and butterflies against one wall; they
-was chunks of things that might have been human for all I know floating
-around in vats like pickled pork in a barrel; they was beer schooners
-with twisted spouts to them; they was microscopes and telescopes and
-twenty-seven shapes and sizes of knives; they was crates of stuff that
-was unpacked and crates that wasn't; and they was tables with things
-just piled and spilled over 'em, every which way, and the looks of
-everything was dirty on account of the perfessor not allowing any one in
-there but himself and Miss Estelle and William. And whether you knowed
-anything about them different brands of science or not you could see the
-perfessor was one of them nuts that's always starting to do things and
-then leaving them go and starting something else. It looked as if the
-operating room of an emergency hospital and a blacksmith shop and a
-people's free museum and a side show full of freaks, snakes and oneeyed
-calves had all gone out and got drunk together, all four of them, and
-wandered into a cremation plant to sleep off that souse; and when they
-woke up they couldn't tell which was which nor nothing else except
-they had a bad taste in their mouth and was sentenced to stay there
-unseparated and unhappy and unsociable in each other's company for
-evermore. And every time you turned around you stepped on something new,
-and if you saw a rat or a lizard or a spider you better let him alone
-for how was you going to tell he was dead or alive till he crawled up
-you?
-
-The perfessor, he was setting over by a window, and he pushed out
-another chair for me and he says sit down.
-
-“You are a gentleman of leisure?” he says, with a grin; or words to that
-effect.
-
-“I work at that sometimes,” I told him, “although it ain't rightly my
-trade.”
-
-“Biddy Malone says you're an agnostic,” he says, looking at me close.
-It won't do, I thinks, to spring none of them agnostic gags on him, so I
-says nothing.
-
-“I'm one myself,” he says.
-
-“Regular,” I asks him, “or just occasional?” He kind o' grins again, and
-I thinks: “Billy, you're making a hit somehow.”
-
-Then he says, like he was apologizing to someone about something: “Being
-interested in sociology and the lower classes in general, I sent for you
-to get some first-hand observations on your train of mind,” he says. Or
-it was words like them. “I'm a sociologist,” he says.
-
-I seen I made a hit before and I thinks I'll push my luck, so I swells
-up and says:
-
-“I'm a kind of sociologist myself.”
-
-“Hum,” he says, thoughtful-like. “Indeed? And your itinerant mode of
-subsistence is persecuted in pursuit of your desire to study knowledge
-of the human specimen and to observe wisdom as to the ways they live
-in the underworld,” he says. Or it was words to that effect. I wish I'd
-a-had him wrote them words down. Then I'd a-had 'em just right now. I
-seen a bunch of good words help a man out of a hole before this. Words
-has always been more or less my admiration; you can never tell what one
-of them long gazaboos is going to do till you spring it on somebody. So
-I says:
-
-“That's me, perfessor. I likes to float around and see what's doing.”
-
-Then he tells me that sociology was how the criminal classes and the
-lower classes in general was regarded by the scientific classes, only
-it's a difficult brand of science to get next to, he says, on account
-of the lower classes like me being mostly broke out with environment he
-says, unbeknownst even to theirselves. He's not what you would call a
-practicing sociologist all the time, being afraid, I suppose, he would
-catch it if he got too close to it; he's just one of the boys that
-writes about it, so as both the lower classes and the scientific classes
-won't make no bad breaks, he says.
-
-But what he wants of me just now ain't got nothing to do with that, he
-says. He's been making experiments with all kinds of canned victuals,
-that is put up with acid that eats holes in your stomach, he says, and
-so long as I'm going to be a guest he's going to mix some of them acids
-in my chuck and weigh me after each meal. He says I'll start slow and
-easy and there won't be nothing dangerous about it. He's been practicing
-on William Dear and Miss Estelle, which I suppose it was the acids got
-into her smile, but he's going to give them a rest, them being naturally
-delicate. I ain't got no kick, I thinks, and I'm going to leave this
-place in a day or two anyhow. Besides, I always was intrusted in
-scientific things and games of chance of all kinds.
-
-But I didn't leave in a few days, and the first thing I knew I'd been
-there a week. I had pretty much the run of the house, and I eat my meals
-with Biddy Malone, the only uncomfortable feature of being a guest being
-that Miss Estelle, soon as she found out I was an agnostic (whatever
-brand of science that is, which I never found out to this day, just
-having come across the word accidental), she begun to take charge of my
-religion and intellectuals and things like that. She used to try to cure
-the perfessor, too, but she had to give it up for a bad job, Biddy says.
-
-Biddy, she says Mrs. Booth's been over to her mother's while this
-smallpox has been going on; which I hadn't knowed they was a Mrs. Booth
-before. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, too.
-They's been a lot of talk, anyhow, Biddy says, about Mrs. Booth and some
-musician fellow around town. But Biddy she likes Mrs. Booth, and even if
-it was so who could blame her?
-
-Things ain't right around that house since Miss Estelle's been there,
-which the perfessor's science, though worrying to the nerves, ain't cut
-much ice till about four years ago when Miss Estelle come.
-
-But Mrs. Booth she's getting where she can't stand it much longer, Biddy
-says. I didn't blame her none for feeling sore about things.
-
-You can't expect a woman that's pretty and knows it, and ain't more'n
-thirty-two or three years old, and don't look it, to be interested in
-mummies and pickled snakes and the preservation of the criminal classes
-and chemical profusions, not _all_ the time. And maybe when she'd ask
-the perfessor if he wasn't going to take her to the opera he'd ask her
-did she know them Germans had invented a newfangled disease or that it
-was a mistake about them Austrians hiding their heads in the sand when
-they are scared, which any fool that's ever seen 'em working around a
-coal mine ought to of knowed. It wouldn't a-been so bad if the perfessor
-had just picked out one brand of science and stuck to it. She could
-a-got used to any one kind and knowed what to expect. But maybe this
-week the perfessor's bug would be ornithography, and he'd be chasing
-sparrows all over the front lawn; and next week it would be geneology
-and he'd be trying to grow bananas on a potato vine. Then, he'd get
-worried about the nigger problem in the south, and settle it all
-up scientific and explain how ethnology done the whole damn thing,
-lynchings and all, and it never could be straightened out till it was
-done scientific. Every new gag that come out the perfessor took up with
-it, Biddy says; one time he'd be fussing around with gastronomy through
-a telescope and the next he'd be putting astrology into William's
-breakfast food.
-
-They was a row on all the time about the kids, which they hadn't been
-till Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth she said they could kill their own
-selves if they wanted to, but she had more right than anybody to say
-what went into William's digestive ornaments, and she didn't want him
-brought up scientific nohow, but just human. He was always making notes
-on William, which was how William come to take so little interest in
-life after a while. But Miss Estelle, she egged him on. She seen he
-didn't have no sense about his money, which had been left to him when
-he was a sure enough perfessor in a college before he quit and went nuts
-and everything begun to go wrong between him and Mrs. Booth, so Miss
-Estelle she took to running his money herself; but she seen likewise
-that when it come to writing articles about William's insides and
-intellectuals the perfessor he was a genius. Well, maybe he was; but
-Biddy wouldn't let him try none of them laboratory gags on her though
-she just as soon be hypnotized and telepathed as not just to humor him.
-Miss Estelle, she eat what the perfessor give her, and after a while
-she says she'll take charge of the children's education herself, their
-mother being a frivolous young thing, and it was too bad, she says, a
-genius like him couldn't a-mar-ried a noble woman who would a-understood
-his great work for humanity and sympathized with it. So while the
-perfessor filled William and Miss Margery up on new discovered food and
-weighed 'em and probed 'em and sterilized 'em and did everything else
-but put 'em in glass bottles, Miss Estelle she laid out courses of
-reading matter for them and tended to their religion and intellectuals
-and things like that. I reckon they never was two kids more completely
-educated, inside and out. It hadn't worked much on Miss Margery yet, her
-being younger than William. But William took it hard and serious, being
-more like his father's family, and it made bumps all over his head. I
-reckon by the time William was ten years old he knew more than a whole
-high school, and every time that boy cut his finger he just naturally
-bled science. But somehow he wasn't very chipper, and whenever the
-perfessor would notice that he and Miss Estelle would change treatment.
-But Biddy liked William just the same, they hadn't spoiled his
-disposition none; and she said he seen a lot of things his aunt never
-would a-seen, William did. One day when I first was a guest I says to
-his aunt, I says:
-
-“Miss Booth, William looks kind o' pale to me like he was getting too
-much bringin' up to the square inch.”
-
-She acted like she didn't care for no outsiders butting in, but I
-seen she'd noticed it, too, and she liked William, too, in a kind of
-scientific sort of a way, and she says in a minute:
-
-“What do you suggest?”
-
-“Why,” says I, “what a kid like that needs is to roll around and play in
-the dirt now and then, and yell and holler.”
-
-She went away like she was kind o' mad about it; but about an hour later
-the perfessor sent word for me to come down to the labaratory, and Miss
-Estelle was there.
-
-“We have decided that there is something in what you say,” says the
-perfessor. “Even the crudest and most untrained intellectuals has now
-and then a bright hunch from which us men of special knowledge may take
-a suggestion,” he says, or words to that effect. And they was a whole
-lot more, and they was more scientific than that. I didn't know I'd done
-nothing important like that, but when he told me all about it in science
-talk I seen I made a ten strike, though I should of thought anyone could
-of saw all William needed was just to be allowed to be a little more
-human.
-
-But what do you think--I never was so jarred in my life as I was the
-next day. I seen Miss Estelle spreading an oilcloth on the floor, and
-then the butler come in and poured a lot of nice, clean, sterilized dirt
-on to it. And then she sent for William.
-
-“William Dear,” she says, “we have decided that what you need is more
-recreation mixed in along with your intellectuals. You ought to romp and
-play in the dirt, close to the soil and nature, as is right for a youth
-of your age. For an hour each day right after you study your biology and
-before you take up your Euclid you will romp and play in this dirt like
-a child of nature, and frolic. You may now begin to frolic, William, and
-James will gather up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic.” Or it was
-words to that effect.
-
-But William didn't frolic none. He seen things they didn't. He just
-looked at that dirt, and he come the nearest to smiling I ever seen
-William come; and then he come the nearest to getting mad I ever seen
-William come. And then he says very serious:
-
-“Aunt Estelle,” he says, “I shall _not_ frolic. I have come to that
-place in my discretions where my intellectuals got to work some for
-theirselves. It is them intellectuals which you have trained that
-refuses to be made ridiculous one hour each day between the biology
-lesson and the Euclid lesson with sand.” Those was not William's exact
-words, which he always had down as slick as his pa, but they was what he
-meant. William was a serious kid, but he seen things his aunt never had
-no idea of. And he never did frolic, neither, and all that nice clean
-dirt had to be throwed out by the stable amongst the unscientific dirt
-again.
-
-That was before Biddy Malone told me about why it was that the perfessor
-and his wife didn't get along well, and as I was saying I didn't
-blame her none, Miss Estelle having finally beat her out about her own
-children, too; and she feeling she didn't scarcely own 'em no more, and
-they hardly daring to kiss their own mamma with Miss Estelle in the room
-because of germs, so Biddy says. Biddy, she says the perfessor is all
-right, he's just a fool and don't mean no harm by his scientific gags,
-but Miss Estelle she's a she-devil and takes that way to make herself
-the boss of that house. If she wasn't there Mrs. Booth would have been
-boss and never let the perfessor know it and things wouldn't a-been so
-bad. Which shows that so long as every house got to have a boss it ain't
-so much difference if it's a him or her so long as it ain't a relation.
-
-The perfessor always eats his dinner in one of them coats with the
-open-face vest to it, and one night I thinks I will, too. When you is in
-Rome you does like the Dagos does, I thinks.
-
-So I sends for James along before dinner time and I says: “Where is my
-dinky clothes to eat dinner in?” I says.
-
-James he says I'm to continue to eat dinner by myself. Which is all
-right, I tells him, but I'll do it in style or I'll quit the job. So he
-goes and asks Miss Estelle, and she comes in with that lemon grin on,
-but looking, too, like I done something to please her.
-
-“Is it true,” she says, “that already the effects of a refined
-environment has overcome defections in early training and a misfortune
-in ancestral hereditary?” she says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-“It is true,” I says. And the perfessor's being too small she made James
-give me his'n. But when I seen all that shirt front it made me feel
-kind of uncomfortable, too. So I takes them off again and puts on my old
-striped sweater and puts on the vest and coat over that, and the effect
-of them red stripes running crossways is something gorgeous with one of
-them open-face vests over it.
-
-So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
-perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
-got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves,
-and most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got
-hold of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest
-book! It was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in
-real talk down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what
-it was about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's
-never been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been
-going against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there
-ain't nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli
-stories I read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart
-movie or a Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man
-of that story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross
-circling around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It
-wasn't for nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on
-everybody gets as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands
-when another savings bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him.
-And the snakes wiggles all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one
-time when they cleaned out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns
-gets its drinking water from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die
-and can't make it; and their ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and
-they go by him in the moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a
-frosty morning out of an engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to
-that story, too. I bet the fellow that doped that out had been on an
-awful bat. I like to of talked with that nut. They was a fellow named
-Looney Hogan use to have them phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what
-he saw after he had 'em. Looney was awful good company and I use to like
-to hear him tell what he seen and what he thinks he seen, but he walked
-off of a grain barge up to Duluth when he was asleep one night and he
-never did wake up.
-
-Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
-ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the
-nuts that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two
-guys can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has
-seen different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long
-time there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I
-wakes up sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room
-that opens right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors
-like is on to a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's,
-and she says like she was choked up:
-
-“But I _must_ see them before we go, Henry.”
-
-And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
-
-“But, my God!” he says, “suppose you catch it yourself, Jane!”
-
-I set up straight then, and I would of give a good deal to see through
-that door, because Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name.
-
-“You mean suppose _you_ get it,” she says. I like to of seen the look
-she must of give him to fit in with the way she says that _you_. He
-didn't say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down
-some, and she says, low and slow: “Henry, wouldn't you love me if I
-_did_ get it? Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?”
-
-“Oh, of course,” he says, “of course I would. Nothing can change the way
-I feel. _You_ know that.” He said it quick enough, all right, just the
-way they do in a show, but it sounded _too much_ like it does on the
-stage to of suited me if _I'd_ been her. I seen folks overdo them little
-talks before this.
-
-I listens some more, and then I see how it is. This is that musician
-feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with
-him all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that.
-They may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em
-don't like the kids. I thinks to myself: “It must be late. I bet they
-was already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here
-first so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She just simply couldn't
-get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see
-Margery with that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night?
-And even if she tries just to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot
-he'll wake up and she'll be ketched at it.”
-
-And then I thinks, suppose she _is_ ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a
-woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key,
-even if they is a quarantine on to it, and see her kids? And if she is
-ketched seeing them, how would anyone know she was going to run off? And
-ain't she got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring
-her over from her mother's house, even if it is a little late?
-
-Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby
-I better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated
-me purty white. And then I thinks: “I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle.
-So fur as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's
-coming to him, nohow. And as fur _her_, you got to let some people find
-out what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?”
-
-But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my
-shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors,
-and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward
-and forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and
-her undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's
-kind o' hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids,
-and she's begging off fur more time ginerally.
-
-Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She
-was a peach.
-
-And I couldn't blame her so much, either, when I thought of Miss Estelle
-and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and
-years world without end.
-
-Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right
-off that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to
-keep a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married
-to her. But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right
-when they ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown,
-pointed beards fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too
-much like a woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of
-pie at the lunch counter and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big.
-She was setting in front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and
-he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad and trying not to show it,
-and I seen he was scared of the smallpox and trying not to show that,
-too. And just about that time something happened that kind o' jolted me.
-
-They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got
-a high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on
-the other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which
-was a bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy.
-First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and
-Henry didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the
-room, with their back to it.
-
-Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair
-does. Will she squeak, I wonders?
-
-“Don't you be a fool, Jane,” says the Henry feller.
-
-Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak.
-
-“A fool?” asks Jane, and laughs. “And I'm not a fool to think of going
-with you at all, then?”
-
-That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and
-part of a crumpled-up coat tail.
-
-“But I _am_ going with you, Henry,” says Jane. And she gets up just like
-she is going to put her arms around him.
-
-But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the
-perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes
-like he's just woke up recent, and he's got a grin on to his face that
-makes him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time.
-
-“Excuse me,” says the perfessor.
-
-They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane
-never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But
-if they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and
-having a fit. They looks at him and he just sets there and grins at
-them.
-
-But after a while Jane, she says:
-
-“Well, now you _know!_ What are you going to do about it?”
-
-Henry, he starts to say something, too. But----
-
-“Don't start anything,” says the perfessor to him. “_You_ aren't going
-to do anything.” Or they was words to that effect.
-
-“Professor Booth,” he says, seeing he has got to say something or else
-Jane will think the worse of him, “I am----”
-
-“Shut up,” says the perfessor, real quiet. “I'll tend to you in a minute
-or two. _You_ don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me and
-my wife.”
-
-When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something
-into him beside science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised
-herself. But she says nothing, except:
-
-“What are you going to do, Frederick?” And she laughs one of them mean
-kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a
-little more, and says: “What _can_ you do, Frederick?”
-
-Frederick, he says, not excited a bit:
-
-“There's quite a number of things I _could_ do that would look bad when
-they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you
-forces it on to me.” Then he says:
-
-“You _did_ want to see the children, Jane?”
-
-She nodded.
-
-“Jane,” he says, “can't you see I'm the better man?”
-
-The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and
-he didn't want to see her go. “Look at him,” he says, pointing to the
-feller with the brown beard, “he's scared stiff right now.”
-
-Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way
-like Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping
-ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no
-blood on the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making
-up his mind about something, too. Jane, she says:
-
-“_You_ a better man? _You?_ You think you've been a model husband just
-because you've never beaten me, don't you?”
-
-“No,” says the perfessor, “I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been
-a worse fool, maybe, than if I _had_ beaten you.” Then he turns to Henry
-and he says:
-
-“Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in
-the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me.” With which he gets
-up and trots out, and I heard him running down stairs to his labertory.
-
-Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane
-a-looking at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some
-kind of a strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't
-do it. And Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects
-it. And me, I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, “What is
-that there perfessor up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one
-else. He is looney, that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I
-wonder if they is anyone that ain't looney sometimes? I been around the
-country a good 'eal, too, and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable
-things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or less looney when
-the _search us the femm_ comes into the case. Which is a Dago word I got
-out'n a newspaper and it means: Who was the dead gent's lady friend?'
-And we all set and sweat and got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor
-to come back.
-
-“Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin on to his face and a pill
-box in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and
-chilly: “Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science.
-All the same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she
-isn't worth fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I
-made 'em myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it
-gets to working well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken.
-The other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one,
-I keep her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait
-long enough after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town.”
-
-Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of
-it. When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek
-on the inside like a piece of sandpaper. He was scared, Henry was.
-
-“But _you_ know which is which,” Jane sings out. “The thing's not fair!”
-
-“That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around
-each other herself,” says the perfessor, “and then pick out one for him
-and one for me. _You_ don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the
-favorite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I want
-him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking it.
-In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house that
-he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal without
-I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and respectable. The
-effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one can tell the
-difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood anywhere. I will
-be found dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, or else he
-will be picked up dead in the street, far enough away so as to make no
-talk.” Or they was words to that effect.
-
-He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder
-if I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: “No, it's
-between them three.” Beside, I want to see which one is going to get
-that there loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chance of
-all kinds, and when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I
-been misjudging him all this time.
-
-Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick.
-
-“I won't touch 'em,” she says. “I refuse to be a party to any murder of
-that kind.”
-
-“Huh? You do?” says the perfessor. “But the time when you might have
-refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already.
-You're really the _main_ party to it.
-
-“But do as you like,” he goes on. “I'm giving him more chance than I
-ought to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face
-the music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane.
-If you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out
-these pills, one to him and then one to me. _You_ must kill one or the
-other of us, or else _I'll_ kill _him_ the other way. And _you_ had
-better pick one out for him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else
-let him pick one out for himself,” he says.
-
-Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he
-hadn't. I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry
-inside.
-
-Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she
-looked at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: “Fur God's
-sake, spunk up some, and take one if it _does_ kill you!” Then she says
-out loud: “Henry, if you die I will die, too!”
-
-And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If
-she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur
-Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or
-not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor.
-What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: “Mebby I better jump
-in now and stop this thing.” And then I thinks agin: “No, it is between
-them three and Providence.” Beside, I'm anxious to see who is going
-to get that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling just like
-Providence hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with
-his own hands. And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right
-and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the
-wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's
-place I would of let them all off kind o' easy.
-
-Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is just looking at it and shaking.
-
-The perfessor reaches for his watch, and don't find none. Then he
-reaches over and takes Henry's watch, and opens it, and lays it on the
-table. “A quarter past one,” he says. “Mr. Murray, are you going to make
-me shoot you after all? I didn't want any blood nor any scandal,” he
-says. “It's up to you,” he says, “whether you want to take that pill and
-get your even chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting way
-is sure, but looks bad in the papers. The pill way don't implicate any
-one,” he says. “Which?” And he pulls a gun.
-
-Henry he looks at the gun.
-
-Then he looks at the pill.
-
-Then he swallows the pill.
-
-The perfessor puts his'n into his mouth. But he don't swallow it. He
-looks at the watch, and he looks at Henry. “Sixteen minutes past one,”
- he says. “_Mr. Murray will be dead at exactly fourteen minutes to two_.
-I got the harmless one. I can tell by the taste of the chemicals.”
-
-And he put the pieces out into his hand to show that he chewed his'n
-up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes for a verdict from his
-digestive ornaments. Then he put 'em back into his mouth and chewed 'em
-and swallowed 'em down like it was coughdrops.
-
-Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make
-fur the door, but he falls down on to a sofa.
-
-“This is murder,” he says, weaklike. And he tries to get up agin, but
-this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
-
-“It's a dern short fifteen minutes,” I thinks to myself. “That perfessor
-must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it
-to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes.”
-
-When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top
-of him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was
-turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she just
-gurgles in her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He
-ketches her. “Sit up, Jane,” he says, with that Estelle look on to his
-face, “and let us have a talk.”
-
-She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty
-has got. But she can't look away from him.
-
-And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor
-had only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of
-loosened up and yelled, and I would of. I just _needed_ to fetch a yell.
-But Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling just like
-he'd _always_ been there, and I'd _always_ been staring into that room,
-and the last word anyone spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years
-ago.
-
-“You're a murderer,” says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in
-that stare-eyed way. “You're a _murderer,_” she says, saying it like she
-was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one.
-
-“Murder!” says the perfessor. “Did you think I was going to run any
-chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted
-through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and
-sugar. He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing
-you that the fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine
-woman like you, Jane,” he says.
-
-Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wildlike, her
-voice clucking like a hen does, and she says:
-
-“It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a
-murder! Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was,” she
-says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder
-than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but just wasn't
-no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry.
-Women is made unlike most other animals in many ways. When they is
-foolish about a man they can stand to have that man killed a good 'eal
-better than to have him showed up ridiculous right in front of them.
-They will still be crazy about the man that's killed, but they don't
-never forgive the lobster. I seen that work out before this. You can be
-most any thing else and get away with it, but if you're a lobster it's
-all off even if you can't help being a lobster. And when the perfessor
-kicks Henry in the ribs and he comes to and sneaks out, Jane she never
-even looks at him.
-
-“Jane,” says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, “you got a lot to
-forgive me. But do you s'pose I learned enough sense so we can make a go
-of it if we start over again?”
-
-But Jane never said nothing.
-
-“Jane,” he says, “Estelle is going back to New England to stay there for
-good.”
-
-She begins to take a little interest then. “Did Estelle tell you so?”
- she says.
-
-“No,” says the perfessor, “Estelle don't know it yet. But she is. I'm
-going to tell her in the mornin'.”
-
-But she still hates him. She's making herself. She wouldn't of been a
-female woman if she'd of been coaxed that easy. Pretty soon she says,
-“I'm going upstairs and go to bed. I'm tired.” And she went out looking
-like the perfessor was a perfect stranger.
-
-After she left the perfessor set there quite a while and he was looking
-tired out, too; and there wasn't no mistake about me. I was asleep all
-through my legs, and I kept a wondering to myself, suppose them pills
-had one of them been loaded sure enough, which one would of got it? And
-when the perfessor leaves I says to myself, I reckon I better light a
-rag. So I goes to the front window and opens it easy; but I thinks
-about Henry's watch on the table, every one else having forgot it, and I
-thinks I better hunt him up and give it to him.
-
-And then I thinks why should I give him pain, for that watch will always
-remind him of an unpleasant time he once had.
-
-And if it hadn't been for me sitting in that window looking at that
-watch I wouldn't a-been writing this, for I wouldn't of been in jail
-now.
-
-I tried to explain my intentions was all right, but the police says
-it ain't natural to be seen coming out of a front window at two in the
-morning in a striped sweater and a dinky dinner suit with a gold watch
-in your hand; if you are hunting the owner you are doing it peculiar.
-
-One of them reporters he says to me to write the truth about how I got
-into jail; nobody else never done it and stuck to facts. But this is
-the truth so help me; it was all on account of that watch, which my
-intentions with regard to was perfectly honorable, and all that goes
-before leads up to that watch. There wasn't no larceny about it; it was
-just another mistake on the part of the police. If I'd of been stealing
-wouldn't I stole the silverware a week before that?
-
-The more I travel around the more dumb people I see that can't
-understand how an honest and upright citizen can get into circumstantial
-evidence and still be a honest and upright citizen.
-
-
-
-
-X.--The Penitent
-
-
-|You, who are not married,” said the penitent, “cannot know--can never
-realize----”
-
-He hesitated, his glance wandering over the evidences of luxury, the
-hints of Oriental artistry, the esthetic effectiveness of Dr. Eustace
-Beaulieu's studio.
-
-“Proceed,” said Dr. Beaulieu, suavely. “What I may know is not the
-important thing. You do not address yourself to me, but through me
-to that principle of Harmony in the Cosmos which is Spirit--Ultimate
-Spirit--which we call God. All that I can do is assist you to get into
-Accord with the Infinite again, help you to vibrate in unison with the
-Cosmic All.”
-
-“You are right; I do not look to you,” said the penitent, “for ease of
-mind or spirit.” And a fleeting half-smile showed in his eyes, as if
-some ulterior thought gave a certain gusto to the manner in which he
-stressed the pronoun _you_. But the rest of his scarred and twisted
-face was expressionless, beneath the thick mask of a heavy gray-streaked
-beard that grew almost to his eyes.
-
- * Author's Note: “The Penitent” was suggested by two poems,
- “A Forgiveness,” by Browning, and “The Portrait,” by Owen
- Meredith.
-
-Dr. Eustace Beaulieu was the leader--nay, the founder--of one of the
-many, many cults that have sprung up in New York City and elsewhere in
-America during the past three or four decades. An extraordinary number
-of idle, well-to-do women gathered at his studio two or three times a
-week, and listened to his expositions of ethics _de luxe_, served with
-just the proper dash of Oriental mysticism and European pseudoscience.
-He was forty, he was handsome, with magnetic brown eyes and the long
-sensitive fingers of a musician; he was eloquent, he was persuasive, he
-was prosperous.
-
-When he talked of the Zend-Avesta, when he spoke of the Vedantic
-writings, when he touched upon the Shinto worship of the Nipponese, when
-he descanted upon the likeness of the Christian teachings to the tenets
-of Buddhism, when he revealed the secrets of the Yogi philosophy, when
-he hinted his knowledge of the priestly craft of older Egypt and of
-later Eleusis, his feminine followers thrilled in their seats as a
-garden of flowers that is breathed upon by a Summer wind--they vibrated
-to his words and his manner and his restrained fervor with a faint
-rustling of silken garments and a delicate fragrance of perfume.
-
-Men were not, as a rule, so enthusiastic concerning Dr. Eustace Beaulieu
-and his cult; there were few of them at his lectures, there were few of
-them enrolled in the classes where he inducted his followers into the
-more subtle phases of ethics, where he led them to the higher planes
-of occultism, for a monetary consideration; few of them submitted
-themselves to him for the psychic healing that was one of his major
-claims to fame. And this scarred and bearded stranger, who limped, was
-one of the very few men who had ever intimated a desire to bare his soul
-to Dr. Beaulieu, to tell his story and receive spiritual ministration,
-in the manner of the confessional. These confessionals, after the public
-lectures, had been recently introduced by Dr. Beaulieu, and they were
-giving him, he felt, a firmer grip upon his flock--his disciples, he did
-not hesitate to call them.
-
-“I repeat,” said the penitent--if he was a repentant man, indeed--“no
-bachelor can know what love really is. He cannot conceive of what the
-daily habit of association with a woman who seems made for him, and for
-him alone, may mean to a man. My love for my wife was almost worship.
-She was my wife indeed, I told myself, and she it was for whom I worked.
-
-“For I did work, worked well and unselfishly. Every man must have
-some work. Some do it from necessity, but I did it because I loved
-the work--and the woman--and thus I gained a double reward. I was a
-politician, and something more. I think I may say that I was a patriot,
-too. The inheritor of wealth and position, I undertook to clear the city
-in which I lived, and which my forefathers had helped to build, of
-the ring of grafters who were making the name of the town a byword
-throughout the nation. The details of that long and hard strife are not
-pertinent. I fought with something more than boldness and determination;
-I fought with a joy in every struggle, because I fought for something
-more than the world knew. The world could not see that my inspiration
-was in my home; that in the hours of battle my blood sang joyously with
-the thought of--her! Was it any wonder that I worked well?
-
-“One day, as I sat in my office downtown, the thought of her drew me so
-strongly that I determined to surprise her by coming home unexpectedly
-early. It was summer, and we were living in our country home, an
-old-fashioned stone residence a couple of miles from the outskirts of
-the city. The house was situated at the edge of a park that was, indeed,
-almost virgin forest, for the whole estate had been in my family for
-nearly a hundred years.
-
-“I determined to surprise my wife, and at the same time to take the rare
-relaxation of a suburban walk. I was soon outside the city limits, and
-through the zone where vacant lots broaden into fields; and then I left
-the road, cutting across the fields and finally plunging into the woods
-on my own place. Thus it was that I approached the house from the rear
-and came suddenly out of the timber into my own orchard. I seldom walked
-from town, and it was a good long hour before my usual time of arrival,
-although in that sheltered and woody place the dusk was already
-gathering in.
-
-“As I entered the orchard a man made a hurried exit from a vine-wreathed
-pergola where my wife often sat to read, cast one look at me, cleared
-the orchard fence, and made off through the woods, disappearing at once
-among the boles of the trees.
-
-“He had not turned his full face toward me at any time, but had shielded
-it with an upflung arm; from the moment he broke cover until his
-disappearance there had passed less time than it takes to tell it, and I
-was scarcely to be blamed if I was left guessing as to his identity, for
-the moment. For the moment, I say.
-
-“There had been so much fright in his manner that I stood and looked
-after him. The thought came to me that perhaps here was a man who had
-had an affair with one of my servants. I turned toward the pergola and
-met--my wife!
-
-“She was a beautiful woman, always more beautiful in her moments of
-excitement. She confronted me now with a manner which I could not help
-but admire. I trusted her so that she might readily have passed off a
-much more anomalous situation with an easy explanation. But in her face
-I read a deliberate wish to make me feel the truth.
-
-“I looked at her long, and she returned the gaze unflinchingly. And
-I recognized her look for what it was. She had cast off the chains of
-deceit. Her glance was a sword of hatred, and the first open thrust of
-the blade was an intense pleasure to her. We both knew all without a
-word.
-
-“I might have killed her then. But I did not. I turned and walked toward
-the house; she followed me, and I opened the door; she preceded me
-inside. She paused again, as if gathering all her forces for a struggle;
-but I passed her in silence, and went upstairs to my own room.
-
-“And then began a strange period in my life. Shortly after this episode
-came a partial triumph of the reform element in my city; the grafters
-were ousted, and I found myself with more than a local reputation, and
-thrust into an office. My life was now even more of a public matter than
-before. We entertained largely. We were always in the public eye. Before
-our guests and in public we were always all that should be. But when
-the occasion was past, we would drop the mask, turn from each other with
-dumb faces, and go each our severed ways.
-
-“For a year this sort of life kept up. I still worked; but now I worked
-to forget. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, it was always
-as of some one who was dead. Or so I told myself, over and over again,
-until I believed it.
-
-“One day there was a close election. I was the successful candidate. I
-was to go to Congress. All evening and far into the night my wife and
-I played our parts well. But when the last congratulation had been
-received, and the last speech made, and the last friend had gone, and
-we were alone with each other once more, she turned to me with a look
-something like the one she had met me with on that summer evening a year
-before.
-
-“'I want to speak with you,' she said.
-
-“'Yes?'
-
-“They were the first words we had exchanged in that year, when not
-compelled by the necessities.
-
-“'What do you wish to speak about?' I asked her.
-
-“'You know,' she said, briefly. And I did know. There was little use
-trying to deny it.
-
-“'Why have you asked me no questions?' she said.
-
-“I would have made another attempt to pass the situation over without
-going into it, but I saw that that would be impossible. She had reached
-the place where she must speak. I read all this in her face. And looking
-at her closely with the first candid glance I had given her in that
-year, I saw that she had changed greatly, but she was still beautiful.
-
-“'I did not choose to open the subject with you,' I said; 'I thought
-that you would explain when you could stand it no longer. Evidently that
-time has come. You were to me like a dead person. If the dead have any
-messages for me, they must bring them to me unsolicited. It was not my
-place to hunt among the tombs.'
-
-“'No,' she said, 'let us be honest, since it is the last talk we may
-ever have together. Let us be frank with each other, and with ourselves.
-I was not like a dead person to you. The dead are dead, and I am not.
-You asked me no questions because you disdained me so. You despised
-me so--and it was sweet to you to make me feel the full weight of your
-scorn through this silence. It was better than killing me. Is that not
-the real reason?'
-
-“'Yes,' I admitted, 'that is it. That is the truth.' “'Listen,' she
-said, 'it would surprise you--would it not--to learn that I still love
-you--that I have loved you all along--that you are the only man I have
-ever really loved--that I love you now? All that is incredible to you,
-is it not?'
-
-“'Yes,' I said, 'it is. You must pardon me, but--it is incredible to
-me.'
-
-“'Well, it is true,' she said, and paused a moment. 'And I can tell you
-why it is true, and why--why--the--the other was true, too. You--you
-do not understand women,' she said. 'Sometimes I think if you were a
-smaller man, in some ways, you would understand them better. Sometimes
-I think that you are too--too big, somehow--ever to make a woman happy.
-Not too self-centered; you are not consciously selfish; you never mean
-to be. But you give, give, give the riches of your nature to people--to
-the world at large--instead of to those who should share them.
-
-“'Oh, I know--the fault is all mine! Another kind of woman--the right
-kind for you--the kind you thought I was--would not have asked for all
-that was a necessity for me; would have been big enough to have done
-without it; would have lost herself in your love for all humanity. That
-is the kind of woman you thought I was. And I tried to be. But I wasn't.
-I wasn't that big.
-
-“'I did sympathize with your work; I could understand it; I loved to
-hear you tell about it. But I loved it because it was you that told
-me about it. You didn't see that! You thought I was a goddess. It was
-enough for your nature to worship me; to set me upon a pedestal and to
-call me your inspiration; oh, you treated me well--you were faithful
-to me--you were generous! But you neglected me in a way that men do not
-understand; that some men will never understand. While you were giving
-your days and your nights, and every fiber of your brain and body, to
-what you called the cause of the people, you more and more forgot you
-had a wife. Again and again and again I tried to win you back to
-what you were when I married you--to the time when your cause was not
-all--but you wouldn't see; I couldn't make you feel.
-
-“'Then I thought I would show you that other men were not such fools as
-to overlook what was wasted on you. But you never noticed; you trusted
-me too much; you were too much engrossed. And then I began to hate you.
-I loved you more than I ever did before, and at the same time I hated
-you. Can you understand that? Do you see how women can hate and love at
-the same time? Well, they can.
-
-“'At last--for I was a fool--I took a lover!”
-
-“'What was his name?' I broke in.
-
-“'His name?' she cried; 'that does not matter! What matter if there was
-one of them, or two of them. That is nothing!--the name is nothing--they
-were nothing--nothing but tools; the symbols of my rage, of my hatred
-for you; whether I loved or hated you, you were all--always.'
-
-“'They were merely convenient clubs with which to murder my honor in the
-dark--is that it?' I said.
-
-“'Yes,' she said, 'that is it, if you choose to put it so.' And she
-spoke with a humility foreign to her nature.
-
-“'And what now?' I asked.
-
-“'Now,' she said, 'now that I have spoken; now that I have told you
-everything; now that I have told you that I have gone on loving you more
-and more and more--now--I am going to die.'
-
-“'You have not asked me to forgive you,' I said.
-
-“'No,' she replied. 'For what is forgiveness? I do not know exactly what
-that word means. It is supposed to wipe out something that has happened,
-is it not?--to make things the same as they were before! But it does not
-do that. That which has happened, has happened; and you and I know it.'
-
-“'You had better live,' I said; 'I no longer consider you worthless. I
-feel that you are worthy of my anger now.'
-
-“Her face cleared almost into something like joy.
-
-“'I have told the truth, and I raise myself from the depths of your
-scorn to the place where you can feel a hot rage against me?' she asked.
-
-“'Yes,' I said. And the light on her face was like that of which some
-women are capable when they are told that they are beloved.
-
-“'And if I die?' she asked.
-
-“'Who knows but that you might climb by it?' I said. 'Who knows but what
-your death might turn my anger to love again?' And with that I turned
-and left her there.
-
-“That night I sat all night in my study, and in the morning they brought
-me the news that she was dead. She must have used some poison. What, I
-do not know; and the physicians called it heart-failure. But what is the
-matter, Doctor?”
-
-“Nothing, nothing!” said Dr. Beaulieu. And he motioned for the narrator
-to proceed. But there were beads of perspiration upon the healer's
-forehead, and a pallor overspread his face.
-
-“I had condemned her to death,” the penitent went on, “and she had been
-her own executioner. She had loved me; she had sinned against me;
-but she had always loved me; she had hated the flesh that sinned, and
-scorned it as much as I; her life was intolerable and she had been her
-own executioner.
-
-“The revulsion of feeling came. I loved her again; now that I had lost
-her. All that day I shut myself up, seeing no one; refusing to look
-at the dozens of telegrams that came pouring in from friends and
-acquaintances, thinking--thinking--thinking----
-
-“Night came again; and with it the word that the best friend I had was
-in the house; a friend of my college days, who had stood shoulder to
-shoulder with me in many a fight, then and since. He had come to be
-under the same roof with me in the hour of my bitterest bereavement,
-was the word he sent--how bitter now, he did not know. But
-he did not intrude upon the privacy of my grief. And I sat
-thinking--thinking--thinking--
-
-“Suddenly the idea came to me that I would go upstairs to the chamber
-where she was, and look at her once more. Quietly I stole up the stairs,
-and through the hushed, dim house, on into the gloomy room, lighted only
-by the candles at the head and foot of the curtained couch on which she
-lay.
-
-“In the room beyond, the watchers sat. I stole softly across the floor
-so as not to attract their attention; there was no one in the room
-with the body. I approached the couch, and with my hand put by the
-curtain----
-
-“Then I dropped it suddenly. I remembered a locket which she had
-formerly worn that had always had my picture in it, in the early days
-of our married life; a locket that had never left her neck, waking or
-sleeping. And I wondered----
-
-“I wondered something about women which no one has ever been able to
-tell me; not even a woman. I wondered if any light o' love had ever been
-able to make her feel anything like _real_ love, after all! I wondered
-if she had ever hugged the thought of her sin to her bosom, even as
-she had at first hugged the thought of our real love--hers and mine. I
-wondered if she had ever carried about with her a sentimental reminder
-of her lover, of any lover, as she had once done of her husband--and how
-long ago! I wondered how important a thing it had seemed to her, after
-all! She had reconciled herself to herself, with her death, and made
-me love her again. And I wondered to how great an extent she had
-ever fooled a lover into thinking she loved him! There are depths and
-contradictions and cross-currents in the souls of women that even women
-do not know, far less men--I wondered whose picture was in that locket!
-
-“I thrust my hand through the curtains of the bed again, and then jumped
-back.
-
-“I had felt something warm there.
-
-“Did she live, after all?
-
-“At the same instant I heard a movement on the other side of the bed. I
-went around.
-
-“My best friend was removing his hand from the curtains on the other
-side, and in his hand was the locket. It was his hand that I had felt.
-
-“We stared at each other. I spoke first, and in a whisper, so that the
-others in the next room, who had come to watch, should not hear.
-
-“'I came for that,' I said.
-
-“'The locket? So did I,” he said. And then added quite simply, 'My
-picture is in it.'
-
-“'You lie!' I whispered, shaken by a wind of fury. And yet I knew that
-perhaps he did not lie, that what he said might well be true. Perhaps
-that was the cause of my fury.
-
-“His face was lined with a grief and weariness terrible to behold. To
-look at him you would have thought that there was nothing else in the
-world for him except grief. It was a great grief that made him careless
-of everything else.
-
-“'It is my picture,' he said. 'She loved me.'
-
-“'I say that you lie,' I repeated. 'She may have played with you--but
-she never loved any one but me--in her heart she never did!'
-
-“'You!' And because he whispered, hissing out the words, they seemed to
-gain in intensity of scorn. 'You! She hated you! You who neglected her,
-you with your damned eternal politics, you who could never understand
-her--love? You who could never give her the things a woman needs and
-must have--the warmth--the color--the romance--the poetry of life!
-You!--with your cold-blooded humanitarianism! I tell you, she loved
-_me!_ Why should I hesitate to avow it to you? It is the sweetest
-thing on earth to me, that she loved me! She turned from you to me
-because----'
-
-“'Don't go into all that,' I said. 'I heard all about that last
-night--from her! Open the locket, and let us see whose face is there!'
-
-“He opened it, and dropped the locket. He reeled against the wall, with
-his hands over his face, as if he had been struck a physical blow.
-
-“I picked the toy up and looked at it.
-
-“The face in the locket was neither his face nor mine. It was the face
-of--of the man who ran from the pergola and vaulted over the orchard
-wall into the woods that summer night a year earlier; the man whom I had
-not, for the moment, recognized.
-
-“We stood there, this man who had been my best friend and I, with the
-locket between us, and I debated whether to strike him down----”
-
-The narrator paused. And then he said, fixing Dr. Beaulieu with an
-intent gaze:
-
-“Should I have struck him down? You, who are a teacher of ethics,
-who set yourself up to be, after a fashion, a preacher, a priest, a
-spiritual director, tell me, would I have been justified if I had killed
-him?”
-
-Dr. Beaulieu seemed to shrink, seemed to contract and grow smaller,
-physically, under the other man's look. He opened his mouth as if to
-articulate, but for a second or two no word came. And then, regaining
-something of his usual poise, he said, although his voice was a bit
-husky:
-
-“No! It is for the Creator of life to take life, and no other. Hatred
-and strife are disharmony, and bring their own punishment by throwing
-the soul out of unity with the spirit of love which rules the universe.”
-
-It sounded stereotyped and emotionless, even in Dr. Beaulieu's own ears,
-as he said it; there was a mocking gleam in the eyes of the other man
-that spoke of a far more vital and genuine emotion. Dr. Beaulieu licked
-his lips and there came a knot in his forehead; beads of perspiration
-stood out upon his brow.
-
-“You were right,” said Dr. Beaulieu, “in not striking him down. You were
-right in sparing him.”
-
-The bearded man laughed. “I did not say that I spared him,” he said.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu looked a question; a question that, perhaps, he dared
-not utter; or at least that he did not care to utter. He had dropped
-completely his rôle of spiritual counselor; he regarded his visitor with
-an emotion that might have been horror and might have been terror,
-or might have been a mixture of the two. The visitor replied to the
-unspoken interrogation in the healer's manner.
-
-“I did not strike him down. Neither did I spare him. I waited and I--I
-used him. I know how to wait; I am of the nature that can wait. It was
-years before fate drew all things together for my purpose, and gave him
-into my hands--fate, assisted by myself.
-
-“I waited, and I used him. The details are not pertinent for it is not
-his story that I am telling. I piloted him to the brink of destruction,
-and then--then, I saved him.”
-
-“You saved him?” Dr. Beaulieu was puzzled; but his fear, if fear it was,
-had not abated. There was a frank menace, now, in his visitor's air. And
-the healer seemed to be struggling, as he listened to the tale, to force
-some reluctant brain-cell to unlock and give its stored memories to his
-conscious mind.
-
-“I saved him. I saved him to be my creature. I broke him, and I saved
-him. I made him my slave, my dog, my--my anything I choose to have him.
-I have work for him to do.”
-
-Again the man paused, looking about the rich profusion of Dr. Beaulieu's
-studio. There was a table in the room which contained a number of curios
-from Eastern lands. The visitor suddenly rose from his chair and picked
-from among them a thin, keen-bladed dagger. It was a beautiful weapon,
-of some Oriental make; beautiful in its lines; beautiful with the sullen
-fire of many jewels blazing in its hilt--an evil levin that got into the
-mind and led the thoughts astray even as the dainty deadliness of
-the whole tool seduced the hand to grasp and strike. As his visitor,
-strangely breaking the flow of his narrative, examined and handled the
-thing, Dr. Beaulieu shuddered.
-
-“The man is as much my tool,” said the visitor slowly, “as this dagger
-would be your tool, Dr. Beaulieu, if you chose to thrust it into my
-breast--or into your own.”
-
-He laid the dagger down on the table, and resumed his seat. Dr. Beaulieu
-said nothing, but he found it difficult to withdraw his eyes from his
-visitor's steady stare. Slumped and sagged within his chair, he said
-nothing. Presently the visitor went on.
-
-“I had a fancy, Dr. Beaulieu; I had a fancy! It suited me to make my
-revenge a less obvious thing than striking down the old friend who had
-betrayed my love and confidence, a less obvious thing than striking down
-the other man--the man whose face was in the locket.”
-
-As he spoke he took from his pocket a locket. He opened it, and gazed
-upon the face. The healer half rose from his chair, and then sank back,
-with a hoarse, inarticulate murmur. His face had turned livid, and he
-trembled in every limb. It was evident that the missing scene which he
-had sought before had suddenly been flashed upon the cinema screen of
-his recollection. He remembered, now----
-
-“It was my fancy, Dr. Beaulieu, to make one of them take revenge upon
-the other, that I might thus be revenged upon them both.”
-
-He suddenly rose, and forced the locket into the healer's nerveless
-grasp.
-
-“That face--look at it!” he cried, towering over the collapsed figure
-before him.
-
-Compelled by a will stronger than his own, Dr. Beaulieu looked. It
-was the counterfeit presentment of himself within. It fell from his
-trembling fingers and rolled upon the floor. The cultist buried his face
-in his hands.
-
-The other man stepped back and regarded him sardonically for a moment or
-two.
-
-“I should not wonder,” he said, “if the man who used to be my best
-friend would pay you a visit before long--perhaps in an hour, perhaps in
-a week, perhaps in a month.”
-
-He picked up the dagger again, and toyed with it.
-
-“This thing,” he said, impersonally, trying the point upon his finger,
-“is sharp. It would give a quick death, a sure death, an almost painless
-death, if one used it against another man--or against one's self.”
-
-And without another word he turned and left the room.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu sat and listened to his retreating footsteps. And, long
-after they had ceased to sound, Dr. Beaulieu still sat and listened.
-Perhaps he was listening for some one to come, now that the bearded
-man had left. He sat and listened, and presently he reached over to the
-table and picked up the dagger that the visitor had laid down with its
-handle toward him. He pressed its point against his finger, as the other
-man had done. It was sharp. It would give, as the fellow had said, “a
-quick death, a sure death, an almost painless death.”
-
-And as he whispered these words he was still
-listening--listening--waiting for some one to come----
-
-
-
-
-XI.--The Locked Box
-
-
-
-I
-
-|It was a small, oblong affair, not more than three inches wide or deep,
-by twice that much in length, made of some dark, hard wood; brass bound
-and with brass lock and brass hinges; altogether such a box as a woman
-might choose to keep about her room for any one of a half dozen possible
-uses.
-
-Clarke did not remember that he had ever seen it prior to his
-unexpectedly early return from a western trip of a month's duration.
-He thought he would give his wife a pleasant surprise, so he did not
-telephone the news of his arrival to the house, but went home and
-entered her room unannounced. As he came in his wife hastily slipped
-something into the box, locked it, and put it into one of the drawers
-of her desk. Then she came to meet him, and he would not have thought
-of the matter at all had it not been for just the slightest trace of
-confusion in her manner.
-
-She was glad to see him. She always was after his absences, but it
-seemed to him that she was exceptionally so this time. She had never
-been a demonstrative woman; but it seemed to Clarke that she came nearer
-that description on the occasion of this home-coming than ever before.
-They had a deal to say to each other, and it was not until after dinner
-that the picture of his wife hurriedly disposing of the box crossed
-Clarke's consciousness again. Even then he mentioned it casually because
-they were talked out of more important topics rather than because of any
-very sharp curiosity. He asked her what it was; what was in it.
-
-“Oh, nothing!--nothing of any importance--nothing at all,” she said;
-and moved over to the piano and began one of his favorite airs. And he
-forgot the box again in an instant. She had always been able to make
-Clarke forget things, when she wanted to. But the next day it suddenly
-came to him, out of that nowhere-in-particular from which thoughts come
-to mortals, that she had been almost as much confused at his sudden
-question as she had at his previous sudden entrance.
-
-Clarke was not a suspicious person; not even a very curious one, as a
-rule. But it was so evident to him that there was something in that
-box which his wife did not wish him to see that he could not help but
-wonder. Always frank with her, and always accustomed to an equal
-candor on her part, it occurred to him that he would ask her again, in
-something more than a casual way, and that she would certainly tell him,
-at the same time clearing up her former hesitation. But no!--why should
-he ask her? That would be to make something out of nothing; this was a
-trifle, and not worth thinking about. But he continued thinking about
-it, nevertheless....
-
-Ah, he had it! What a chump he had been, not to guess it sooner! His
-birthday was only ten days off, and his wife had been planning to
-surprise him with a remembrance of some sort. Of course! That accounted
-for the whole thing.
-
-With this idea in his head, he said nothing more about the box, but
-waited. And when dinner was over and they sat before the fire together,
-on the evening of the anniversary, he still forbore to mention it,
-expecting every moment that the next she would present him with the
-token. But as the evening wore away, with no sign on her part, he
-finally broke an interval of silence with the remark:
-
-“Well, dear, don't keep me guessing any longer! Bring it to me!”
-
-“Guessing? Bring you--what?” And he could see that she was genuinely
-puzzled.
-
-“Why, my birthday present.”
-
-“Why, my dear boy! And did you expect one? And I had forgotten!
-Positively forgotten--it _is_ your birthday, isn't it, Dickie! If I had
-only known you _wanted_ one--------” And she came up and kissed him,
-with something like contrition, although his birthday had never been one
-of the sentimental anniversaries which she felt bound to observe with
-gifts.
-
-“Don't feel bad about it--I don't care, you know--really,” he said.
-“Only, I thought you had something of the sort in that brass-bound
-box--that was the only reason I mentioned it.”
-
-“Brass-bound box--why, no, I--I forgot it. I'm ashamed of myself, but I
-forgot the date entirely!”
-
-But she volunteered no explanation of what the box contained, although
-the opportunity was so good a one.
-
-And Clarke wondered more than ever.
-
-What could it be? The letters of some former sweetheart? Well, all girls
-had sweethearts before they married, he supposed; at least all men did.
-He had had several himself. There was nothing in that. And he would not
-make an ass of himself by saying any more about it.
-
-Only... he could not remember any old sweethearts that he wouldn't have
-told Agnes all about, if she had asked him. He had no secrets from her.
-But she had a secret from him... innocent enough, of course. But still,
-a secret. There was none of those old sweethearts of his whose letters
-he cared to keep after five years of marriage. And there was no... But,
-steady! Where were his reflections leading him? Into something very like
-suspicion? Positively, yes; to the verge of it. Until Agnes got ready to
-tell him all about it, he would forget that damned box!
-
-And if she never got ready, why, that was all right, too. She was his
-wife, and he loved her... and that settled it.
-
-Perhaps that should have settled it, but it did not. Certain
-healthy-looking, fleshy specimens of humanity are said to succumb the
-quickest to pneumonia, and it may be that the most ingenuous natures
-suffer the most intensely with suspicion, when once thoroughly
-inoculated.
-
-
-
-II
-
-|Clarke fought against it, cursing his own baseness. But the very effort
-necessary to the fight showed him the persistence of the thing itself.
-He loved his wife, and trusted her, he told himself over and over again,
-and in all their relations hitherto there had never been the slightest
-deviation from mutual confidence and understanding. What did he suspect?
-He could not have told himself. He went over their life together in his
-mind. In the five years of their married life, he could not have helped
-but notice that men were attracted to her. Of course they were. That was
-natural. She was a charming woman. He quite approved of it; it reflected
-credit upon him, in a way. He was not a Bluebeard of a husband, to lock
-a wife up and deny her the society proper to her years. And her
-very catholicity of taste, the perfect frankness of her enjoyment of
-masculine attention, had but served to make his confidence all the more
-complete. True, he had never thought she loved him as much as he loved
-her... but now that he came to think of it, was there not a warmer
-quality to her affection since his return from this last trip west? Was
-there not a kind of thoughtfulness, was there not a watchful increase in
-attentiveness, that he had always missed before? Was she not making love
-to him every day now; just as he had always made love to her before?
-Were not the parts which they had played for the five years of their
-married life suddenly reversed? They were! Indeed they were! And what
-did that mean? What did that portend? Did the brass-bound box have aught
-to do with that? What was the explanation of this change?
-
-The subtle imp of suspicion turned this matter of the exchanged rôles
-into capital. Clarke, still ashamed of himself for doing it, began
-covertly to watch his wife; to set traps of various kinds for her. He
-said nothing more about the box, but within six months after the first
-day upon which he had seen it, it became the constant companion of his
-thoughts.
-
-_What_ did he suspect? Not even now could he have said. He suspected
-nothing definite; vaguely, he suspected anything and everything. If
-his wife noticed his changed manner towards her, she made no sign.
-If anything, her efforts to please him, her attentiveness, her
-thoughtfulness in small things, increased.
-
-
-
-III
-
-|There came a day when he could stand this self-torture no longer,
-he thought. He came home from his office--Clarke was a partner in a
-prosperous real-estate concern--at an hour when he thought his wife not
-yet returned from an afternoon of call making, determined to end the
-matter once for all.
-
-He went to her room, found the key to her desk, and opened the drawer.
-He found the box, but It was locked, and he began rummaging through the
-drawers, and among the papers and letters therein, for the key.
-
-Perhaps she carried it with her. Very well, then, he would break it
-open! With the thing in his hand he began to look around for something
-with which to force the fastenings, and was about deciding that he would
-take it down to the basement, and use the hatchet, when he heard a step.
-He turned, just as his wife entered the room.
-
-Her glance traveled from the box in his hand to the ransacked desk, and
-rested there inquiringly for a moment. Strangely enough, in view of the
-fact that he felt himself an injured husband and well within his rights,
-it was Clarke who became confused, apologetic, and evasive under her
-gaze. He essayed a clumsy lie:
-
-“Agnes,” he began, indicating the desk, “I--I got a bill to-day from
-Meigs and Horner, for those furs, you know--I was sure that the
-account had been settled--that you had paid them, and had shown me the
-receipt--that you had paid them from your allowance, you know--and I
-thought I would come home and look up the receipt.”
-
-It was very lame; and very lamely done, at that, as he felt even while
-he was doing it. But it gave him an opportunity of setting the box down
-on the desk almost in a casual manner, as if he had picked it up quite
-casually, while he began to tumble the papers again with his hands.
-
-“The receipt is here,” she said; and got it for him.
-
-The box lay between them, but they did not look at it, nor at each
-other, and they both trembled with agitation.
-
-Each knew that the thoughts of the other were on nothing except that
-little locked receptacle of wood and brass, yet neither one referred
-to it; and for a full half minute they stood with averted faces, and
-fumbling hands, and played out the deception.
-
-Finally she looked full at him, and drew a long breath, as if the
-story were coming now; and there was in her manner a quality of
-softness--almost of sentimentality, Clarke felt. She was getting ready
-to try and melt him into a kind of sympathy for her frailty, was she!
-Well, that would not work with him! And with the receipted bill waving
-in his hand, he made it the text of a lecture on extravagance, into
-which he plunged with vehemence.
-
-Why did he not let her speak? He would not admit the real reason to
-himself, just then. But in his heart he was afraid to have her go on.
-Afraid, either way it turned. If she were innocent of any wrong, he
-would have made an ass of himself--and much worse than an ass. If she
-were guilty, she might melt him into a weak forgiveness in spite of
-her guilt! No, she must not speak... not now! If she were innocent, how
-could he confess his suspicions to her and acknowledge his baseness? And
-besides... women were so damned clever... whatever was in that box, she
-might fool him about it, somehow!
-
-And then, “Good God!” he thought, “I have got to the place where I hug
-my suspicion to me as a dearer thing than my love, have I? Have I got so
-low as that?”
-
-While these thoughts raced and rioted through his mind, his lips
-were feverishly pouring out torrents in denunciation of feminine
-extravagance. Even as he spoke he felt the black injustice of his
-speech, for he had always encouraged his wife, rather than otherwise, in
-the expenditure of money; his income was a good one; and the very furs
-which formed the text of his harangue he had helped her select and even
-urged upon her.
-
-It was their first quarrel, if that can be called a quarrel which has
-only one side to it. For she listened in silence, with white lips
-and hurt eyes, and a face that was soon set into a semblance of hard
-indifference. He stormed out of the room, ashamed of himself, and
-feeling that he had disgraced the name of civilization.
-
-
-
-IV
-
-|Ashamed of himself, indeed; but before the angel of contrition could
-take full possession of his nature, the devil of suspicion, the imp of
-the box, regained its place.
-
-For why had she not answered him? She knew he cared nothing about the
-trivial bill, the matter of the furs, he told himself. Why had she not
-insisted on a hearing, and told him about the box? She knew as well as
-he that that was what he had broken into her desk to get!
-
-Justice whispered that she had been about to speak, and that he had
-denied her the chance. But the imp of the box said that an honest woman
-would have _demanded_ the chance--would have persisted until she got it!
-And thus, his very shame, and anger at himself, were cunningly turned
-and twisted by the genius of the brass-bound box into a confirmation of
-his suspicions.
-
-V
-
-|Suspicions? Nay, convictions! Beliefs. Certainties!
-
-They were certainties, now! Certainties to Clarke's mind, at least. For
-in a month after this episode he had become a silent monomaniac on the
-subject of the brass-bound box. He felt shame no longer. She was guilty.
-Of just what, he did not know. But guilty. Guilty as Hell itself, he
-told himself, rhetorically, in one of the dumb rages which now became so
-frequent with him.
-
-_Guilty--guilty--guilty_--the clock on the mantelpiece ticked off many
-dragging hours of intolerable minutes to that tune, while Clarke lay
-awake and listened. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--repeat any word often
-enough, and it will hypnotize you. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--so he and
-the clock would talk to each other, back and forth, the whole night
-through. If any suggestions of his former, more normal habits of thought
-came to him now it was they that were laughed out of court; it was they
-that were flung away and scorned as traitors.
-
-She was guilty. But he would be crafty! He would be cunning. He would
-make no mistake. He would allow her no subterfuge. He would give her no
-chance to snare him back into a condition of half belief. There should
-be no juggling explanations. They were clever as the devil, women were!
-But this one should have no chance to fool him again. She had fooled him
-too long already.
-
-And she kept trying to fool him. Shortly after his outburst over the
-furs, she began again a series of timid advances which would have struck
-him as pathetic had he not known that her whole nature was corroded and
-corrupted with deceit, with abominable deceit. She was trying to make
-him believe that she did not know why he was angry and estranged, was
-she? He would show her! He hated her now, with that restless, burning
-intensity of hatred known only to him who has injured another. A hatred
-that consumed his own vitality, and made him sick in soul and body. The
-little sleep he got was passed in uneasy dreams of his revenge; and his
-waking hours were devoted to plots and plans of the form which it should
-take. Oh, but she had been cunning to fool him for so long; but she
-should see! She should see! When the time for action came, she should
-see!
-
-
-
-VI
-
-|Something, one tense and feverish midnight, when he lay in his bed
-snarling and brooding and chuckling--a kind of snapping sense in some
-remote interior chamber of his brain, followed by a nervous shock that
-made him sit upright--warned him that the time for action was at hand.
-What is it that makes sinners, at provincial revival meetings, suddenly
-aware that the hours of dalliance are past and the great instant that
-shall send them to “the mourners' bench” is at hand? Somehow, they seem
-to know! And, somehow, Clarke felt an occult touch and knew that his
-time for action had arrived.
-
-He did not care what came afterwards. Any jury in the world, so he told
-himself, ought to acquit him of his deed, when they once knew his story;
-when they once looked at the damning evidence of her guilt which she
-had hidden away for so long in the brass-bound box. But if they did not
-acquit him, that was all right, too. His work in the world would have
-been done; he would have punished a guilty woman. He would have shown
-that all men are not fools.
-
-But he did not spend a great deal of thought on how other people would
-regard what he was about to do. As he crept down the hall with the knife
-in his hand, his chief sensation was a premonitory itch, a salty tang
-of pleasure in the doing of the deed itself. When hatred comes in where
-love has gone out, there may be a kind of voluptuary delight in the act
-of murder.
-
-Very carefully he opened the door of her room. And then he smiled to
-himself, and entered noisily; for what was the need of being careful
-about waking up a woman who was already dead? He did not care whether he
-killed her in her sleep or not;--indeed, if she wakened and begged for
-her life, he thought it might add a certain zest to the business. He
-should enjoy hearing her plead. He would not mind prolonging things.
-
-But things were not prolonged. His hand and the muscles of his forearm
-had tensed so often with the thought, with the idea, that the first blow
-went home. She never waked.
-
-
-
-VII
-
-|He got the box, and opened it.
-
-Inside was a long envelope, and written on that were the words:
-
-“To be opened by my husband only after my death.”
-
-That time had come!
-
-Within the envelope was a letter. It was dated on the day of his return
-from his western trip, a few months before. He read:
-
-“Dick, I love you!
-
-“Does it seem strange to you that I should write it down?
-
-“Listen, Dickie dear--I _had_ to write it! I couldn't tell you when I
-was alive--but I just had to tell you, too. And now that I am dead, what
-I say will come to you with all of its sweetness increased; and all
-of its bitterness left out! It will, now that I am dead--or if you die
-first, you will never see this. This is from beyond the grave to you,
-Dickie dear, to make all your life good to you afterwards!
-
-“Now, listen, dear, and don't be hard on me.
-
-“When I married you, Dickie, I _didn't_ love you! You were wild about
-me. But I only _liked_ you very much. It wasn't really love. It wasn't
-what you _deserved_. But I was only a girl, and you were the first man,
-and I didn't know things; I didn't know what I _should have_ felt.
-
-“Later, when I realized how very much you cared, I was ashamed of
-myself. I grew to see that I had done wrong in marrying you. Wrong to
-both of us. For no woman should marry a man she doesn't love. And I was
-ashamed, and worried about it. You were so good to me! So sweet--and you
-never suspected that I didn't care like I should. And because you were
-so good and sweet to me, I felt _worse_. And I made up my mind you
-should _never_ know! That I would be everything to you any woman could
-be. I tried to be a good wife. Wasn't I, Dickie, even then?
-
-“But I prayed and prayed and prayed. 'O God,' I used to say, 'let me
-love him like he loves me!' It was five years, Dickie, and I _liked_ you
-more, and _admired_ you more, and saw more in you that was worth while,
-every week; but still, no miracle happened.
-
-“And then one morning _a miracle did happen!_
-
-“It was when you were on that trip West. I had gone to bed thinking how
-kind and dear you were. I missed you, Dickie dear, and _needed_ you. And
-when I woke up, there was a change over the world. I felt so different,
-somehow. It had come! Wasn't it wonderful, Dickie?--it had come! And I
-sang all that day for joy. I could hardly wait for you to come home so
-that I could tell you. I loved you, loved you, loved you, Dickie, _as
-you deserved!_ My prayers had been answered, somehow--or maybe it was
-what any woman would do just living near you and being with you.
-
-“And then I saw _I couldn't tell you, after all!_
-
-“For if I told you I loved you now, that would be to tell you that for
-five years _I hadn't loved you_, Dickie!
-
-“And how would _that_ make you feel? Wouldn't that have been like a
-knife, Dickie?
-
-“Oh, I wanted you to know! _How_ I wanted you to know! But, you see, I
-couldn't tell you, could I, dear, without telling the other, too? I just
-_had_ to save you from that! And I just had to make you feel it, somehow
-or other. And I _will_ make you feel it, Dickie!
-
-“But I can't tell you. Who knows what ideas you might get into your head
-about those five years, if I told you now? Men are so queer, and they
-can be so stupid sometimes! And I can't bear to think of losing one
-smallest bit of your love... not now! It would _kill_ me!
-
-“But I want you to know, sometime. And so I'm writing you--it's my first
-love letter--the first real one, Dickie. If _you_ die first, I'll tell
-you in Heaven. And if _I_ die first, you'll understand!
-
-“Agnes.”
-
-
-
-
-XII.--Behind the Curtain
-
-|It was as dark as the belly of the fish that swallowed Jonah. A
-drizzling rain blanketed the earth in chill discomfort. As I splashed
-and struggled along the country road, now in the beaten path, and now
-among the wet weeds by its side, I had never more heartily yearned
-for the dullness and comforts of respectability. Here was I with more
-talents in my quiver, it pleased me to think, than nine out of ten of
-the burghers I had left sleeping snug and smug in the town a few miles
-behind; with as much real love of humanity as the next man, too; and yet
-shivering and cursing my way into another situation that might well mean
-my death. And all for what? For fame or riches? No, for little more than
-a mere existence, albeit free from responsibility. Indeed, I was all but
-ready to become an honest man then and there, to turn back and give
-up the night's adventure, had but my imagination furnished me with the
-picture of some occupation whereby I might gain the same leisure and
-independence as by what your precisians call thieving.
-
-With the thought I stumbled off the road again, and into a narrow gully
-that splashed me to the knees with muddy water. Out of that, I walked
-plump into a hedge, and when I sought to turn from it at right angles, I
-found myself still following its line. This circumstance showed me that
-I was come unaware upon the sharp turn of the road which marked the
-whereabouts of the house that was my object. Following the hedge, I
-found the entrance to the graveled driveway within a hundred yards of
-my last misstep, and entered the grounds. I groped about me for a space,
-not daring to show a light, until presently a blacker bulk, lifting
-itself out of the night's comprehensive blackness, indicated the
-house itself, to my left and a bit in front of me. I left the moist
-gravel--for there is nothing to be gained on an expedition of this
-sort by advertising the size and shape of your boots to a morbidly
-inquisitive public--and reached the shelter of the veranda by walking
-across the lawn.
-
-There, being out of eyeshot from the upper windows, I risked a gleam
-from my pocket lantern, one of those little electric affairs that are
-occasionally useful to others than night watchmen. Two long French
-windows gave on the veranda; and, as I knew, both of them opened from
-the reception hall. A bit of a way with the women is not amiss in my
-profession; and the little grayeyed Irish maid, who had told me three
-weeks before of old man Rolfe's stinginess and brutality towards the
-young wife whom he had cooped up here for the past four years, had also
-given me, bit by bit, other information more valuable than she could
-guess. So, thanks to the maid, I was aware that the safe where the Rolfe
-jewels were kept--and often a substantial bit of money as well--was
-situated in the library; which was just beyond the hall and connected
-with it by a flight of four or five steps. This safe was my objective
-point.
-
-The wooden window shutters were but the work of a moment; and the window
-fastenings themselves of only a few minutes more. (I flatter myself that
-I have a very coaxing way with window fasteners.) The safe itself would
-give me the devil's own trouble, I knew. It was really a job for two
-men, and I ached all over to be at it, to be safely through with it, and
-away, a good hour before sunrise.
-
-The window opened noiselessly enough, and I stepped within and set my
-little satchel full of necessary tools upon the floor. But the damp
-weather had swelled the woodwork, and as I closed the window again,
-though I pushed it ever so gently, it gave forth a noise something
-between a grunt and a squeak.
-
-And as pat as the report of a pistol to the pressure of the trigger came
-the answer--a sound of a quickly-caught breath from the warm dimness of
-the room. I made no motion; though the blood drummed desperately through
-my brain and my scalp tingled with apprehension and excitement.
-
-For ten, for twenty, for thirty seconds I stood so; and then the silence
-was broken by the unmistakable rustle of a woman's skirts. The sound
-came softly towards me through the darkness. It was my turn to let loose
-my held breath with a gasp, and in another moment I should have been
-through the window and running for it; when a woman's whisper halted me.
-
-“Is that you, Charles? And why did you not rap upon the shutter?”
-
-So some one called Charles was expected? Then, ticked off my thoughts
-almost automatically, the lady somewhere near me in the dark might have
-her own reasons for not caring to alarm the house just then! The thought
-steadied me to action.
-
-“Shh,” I whispered, feeling behind me for the window, and gradually
-opening it again. “S-h-h! No, it is not Charles”--and I put one foot
-backward across the sill. “It is not Charles, but Charles has sent me to
-say----”
-
-Click!--went something by the window, and the room was flooded with
-sudden brilliance from a dozen electric globes. And again, click!--and
-I looked with blinking eyes at the muzzle of a cocked pistol held by the
-most beautiful, the most be-jeweled, the most determined-looking young
-woman it has ever been my lot to meet.
-
-“Who are you?” she asked in a voice that was at once hoarse and sweet.
-“Who are you? And what do you want? And where is Charles?”
-
-As I stood there dripping moisture upon the oiled floor, with my hands
-in the air--they had gone up quite involuntarily--I must have been the
-very picture of idiocy and discomfiture. I wondered if Charles, whoever
-the devil Charles might be, was always welcomed with a cocked pistol.
-Probably not; but, I wondered, how did she happen to have a pistol with
-her? I wondered why neck, breast, hair, arms, and hands should be ablaze
-with the diamonds that accentuated her lithe and vivid loveliness. I
-wondered why, now that she saw I was not Charles, she did not alarm the
-house. I wondered everything; but nothing to the point. And as I stood
-wondering she repeated:
-
-“Who are you? And what do you want?”
-
-“Madame,” I stammered, my jarred brain fastening upon the sentence she
-had interrupted, “Charles sent me to--to say to you----”
-
-“Charles who?” she asked. And as tense as was her face, a gleam of
-merriment shot through her eyes. “Charles who?” she repeated.
-
-Charles was not one of the points upon which the Irish maid had given me
-information.
-
-The lady with the pistol considered for a moment. “You are not very
-clever, are you?” she said.
-
-“If you will pardon me,” I said, “I think I had better be going. I seem
-to have mistaken the house.”
-
-“You at least seem to have mistaken the proper manner in which to enter
-it,” she returned.
-
-“Why, as to the mode of entrance,” I said, “I might plead that the
-mistake appears to have been less in that than in the person who
-employed it.”
-
-I could not resist the retort. A dull red crept slowly up her neck and
-face; a pallid, olive-tinted face, beautiful in itself, beautiful for
-its oval contour and broad brow, and frame of black hair; beautiful in
-itself, and yet dominated and outdone by the lustrous, restless beauty
-of the dark eyes wherewith she held me more surely captive than by
-virtue of the pistol.
-
-“You will come in,” she said, “and sit there.” She indicated a seat
-beside a central table. “But first you will kindly let me have whatever
-weapons you may possess.” She took my revolver, examined it, and put her
-own in the breast of her gown. “Now you may put your hands down,” she
-said, “your arms must ache by now. Sit down.”
-
-I sat. She stood and looked at me for a moment.
-
-“I am wondering what you are going to do with me,” I ventured.
-
-In all of her quick actions, and in the tones of her voice, there was
-evident a most unnatural sort of strain. She may well have been excited;
-that was only to be expected in the circumstances. But the repressed
-excitement in this woman's manner was not that of a woman who is forcing
-herself to keep her courage up; not that of a woman who would like to
-scream; but a steadier nervous energy which seemed to burn in her like a
-fire, to escape from her finger tips, and almost to crackle in her
-hair; an intensity that was vibrant. I marveled. Most women would have
-screamed at the advent of a man in the dead of night; screamed and
-fainted. Or the ones who would not, and who were armed as she, would
-ordinarily have been inclined to shoot, and at once; or immediately to
-have given the alarm. She had done none of these things. She had merely
-taken me captive. She had set me down in a chair at the center of the
-room. She had not roused the house. And now she stood looking at me with
-a trace of abstraction in her manner; looking at me, for the moment,
-less as if I were a human being than as if I were a factor in some
-mathematical problem which it was the immediate task of that active,
-high-keyed brain of hers to solve. And there was a measure of irony in
-her glance, as if she alone tasted and enjoyed some ulterior jest.
-
-“I am wondering,” I repeated, “what you are going to do with me.”
-
-She sat down at the opposite side of the table before she replied.
-
-“I believe,” she said slowly, “that I have nearly made up my mind what
-to do with you.”
-
-“Well?” I asked.
-
-But she said nothing, and continued to say nothing. I looked at her and
-her diamonds--the diamonds I had come after!--and wondered again why she
-was wearing them; wondered why she had tricked herself out as for
-some grand entertainment. And as the ignominious result of my night's
-expedition pressed more sharply against my pride I could have strangled
-her through sheer disappointment and mortification. The pistol she held
-was the answer to that impulse. But what was the answer to her hesitancy
-in alarming the house? Why did she not give me up and be done with me?
-
-At the farther end of the room was a long red curtain, which covered the
-entrance to a sitting-room or parlor, as I guessed; and by the side
-of the curtain hung an old-fashioned bell cord, also of red, which
-I supposed to communicate with the servants' quarters. It were easy
-enough, now that she had taken the whip hand of me so cleverly, to pull
-that rope, to set the bell jangling, to rouse the house. Why did she not
-do so?
-
-Was she a mad woman? There was that in her inexplicable conduct, and in
-her highly-wrought, yet governed, mood, as she sat in brooding silence
-across the table from me, to make the theory plausible. Brooding she
-was, and studying me, I thought; yet watchful, too. For at any least
-motion of mine her hand tightened slightly upon the pistol. We sat
-thus while the slow seconds lengthened into intolerable minutes; and I
-steamed with sweat, and fidgeted. Nor was I set more at my ease by her
-long searching glances. In fact, my overthrow had been so instant and
-so complete that my scattered wits had never drawn themselves together
-again; I continued as one in a haze; as a person half under the power
-of the hypnotist; as a mouse must feel after the first blow of the cat's
-paw. And yet one idea began to loom clearly out of that haze and possess
-me--the idea that she desired the alarm to be given as little as I did
-myself.
-
-But there was no light in that. It was easy to understand why she
-did not wish the house aroused while she still believed me to be
-Charles--whoever Charles might be. But now?--it was too much for me.
-I could not find a justification in reason for my belief; and yet the
-conviction grew.
-
-She broke the silence with a question that might have been put with full
-knowledge of my thought.
-
-“You are still wondering why I do not give you up?” she said.
-
-I nodded. She leaned towards me across the table, and if ever the demons
-of mockery danced through a woman's eyes it was then; and her lips
-parted in a kind of silent laughter.
-
-She touched the diamonds about her throat.
-
-“It was these you came after?”
-
-I nodded again. Evidently speech was of no avail with this lady. She
-asked questions at her will, and reserved the right of answering none.
-
-“Tell me,” she said, “Why are you a thief? Why do you steal?”
-
-“'Convey, the wise it call,'” I quoted. “Accident, or fate, or destiny,
-I suppose,” I went on, wondering more than ever at the question, but
-with a fluttering hope. Perhaps the lady (in spite of Charles--such
-things have been!) was an amateur sociologist, a crank reformer, or
-something of that sort. There had been no mockery in her tone when
-she asked the question; instead, I thought, a kind of pity. “Fate,
-or destiny,” I went on, “or what you please, 'There is a destiny that
-shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will,'” I quoted again, in my
-best actor manner.
-
-“Why,” she said, “you are a man with some air of better things about
-you. You quote Shakespeare as if he were an old friend. And yet, you are
-a thief! Tell me,” she continued, “tell me--I dare say there were many
-struggles against that destiny?” There was a note almost of eagerness
-in her voice, as if she were a leniently-inclined judge who would fain
-search out and put in the mouth of a condemned man some plausible plea
-for the exercise of clemency. “Come--were there not?--I dare say there
-were--circumstances of uncommon bitterness that forced you to become
-what I see you? And even now you hate the thing you are?”
-
-“Why, as to that,” I said, possessed of the sudden whim to be honest
-with myself for once, “I am afraid that I can complain of no bitterer
-usage at the hands of the world than can the majority of those who reap
-where they have not sowed. When I think of it all, I am used to putting
-it to myself that my life is devoted to a kind of private warfare
-against the unjust conditions of a hypocritical social order.”
-
-“Warfare!” she flouted, hard and brilliant as one of her own diamonds
-again. “And you could justify it, too, could you not?”
-
-And then she asked me: “Have you ever killed a man?”
-
-“Why, no,” said I, “but I have tried to.”
-
-“He lived?--and you were sorry that he lived?”
-
-“No,” I said, quite out of my depths in all this moral quibbling, “I was
-glad he lived.”
-
-“And yet you hated him?”
-
-“I would have taken his life in a rage,” I said. “He had wronged me as
-greatly as one man can wrong another.”
-
-“And yet you were glad he lived? My dear thief----”
-
-“Higgins is the name,” said I. “You may call me Higgins.”
-
-“My dear Higgins,” she went on, “you are inconsistent. You attempt to
-slay a man in what I should judge to have been a not ignoble passion.
-It may have been an anger that did you credit. And yet you are not
-bold enough to face the thought of killing him. You are glib with
-justifications of your thievery; and perhaps that is also because you
-are too much of a coward to look steadily at it. You creep along a mean
-and despicable path in life, contentedly, it seems to me, with a dead
-soul. You are what you are because there is nothing positive in you for
-either good or evil. You are negative; you were better dead. Yes, better
-dead!”
-
-Why should I have felt as if she were seeking self-justification in
-advance for some death she planned for me? Certainly, my life, or death,
-was not hers to give or take; she might give me up, and probably would.
-But just as certainly she had made me feel, as she passed her judgment
-upon me, that she was likely to turn executioner as well as judge. My
-doubts as to her sanity returned.
-
-“Still,” I said, for the sake of saying something, “if I killed a man, I
-should not like to think about it, even if he deserved death.”
-
-“Even if he deserved death?” she repeated, and sprang up, as if the
-phrase had touched her. “You make yourself the judge, you do, of when
-a man 'deserves' to lose his wealth. Come, what is your idea of when he
-deserves to die?”
-
-Up and down the room she swept; yet still watchful. And the emotion
-which she had so long suppressed burst out into a poisonous lovely bloom
-that suffused her being with an awful beauty.
-
-“When does he deserve to die?” she repeated. “Listen to me. I knew
-a woman once--no matter where--no matter when--who was sold--sold! I
-say--by the sordid devil she called her father, to the veriest beast
-that ever trod this earth. Her beauty--for she had beauty--her wit--for
-wit she had--became this husband's chattels before she turned her
-twentieth year. She would never have loved him, but she would have been
-faithful to him--she was faithful to him, in fact, in spite of all his
-drunkenness and bestiality--and abuse! It was not neglect alone that she
-had to complain of--she had never looked for understanding or sympathy.
-But she had not looked for abuse. Abuse, I say, and worse than abuse.
-Before she had been married a year she knew what it was, not only to
-feel the weight of a heavy hand and to hide the bruises from her maid,
-but to see other women brought into her very house. Pah!--hate? She
-hated him? Hate is not the word. She became a live coal. But she never
-cried out; she found strength to smile at him even when he beat her; she
-was proud enough for that. It pleased him, in his hellish humor, and
-because she was made to shine, to cage her in a country house, and there
-to taunt her that although she was sold to him she got little of what
-money may buy. And still she smiled at him, and still her hatred grew
-through all the weeks and months until it filled her whole being. And
-then--love came. For God has ordained that love may enter even Hell.
-Love, I say; and she loved this lover of hers with a passion that was
-measured only by the degree in which she hated her husband. And she
-would have left with him; but on the very night they would have flown
-together her lord and master-----”
-
-She said the words with an indescribable spluttering sneer, sidewise
-from her mouth. It is so a lioness may snarl and spit before she leaps.
-
-“Her--lord and master--found it out, and waited up to catch them; and
-coming upon her alone, taunted her. Taunted her, and struck her----”
-
-“Look!” she cried, and tore the diamonds from her breast, and rent the
-laces, and wrenched the fastenings apart. A new red weal that seemed to
-throb and pulse with her respiration stood out from the whiteness of her
-bosom.
-
-“Tell me,” she whispered hoarsely, “would it have been murder if she had
-killed that man? Which were the more courageous thing--to kill him, or
-to step back into her living hell? If she had killed him, would she have
-regretted it?”
-
-I know not what I might have answered; but at that instant three raps
-sounded distinctly upon the window-shutter. I leaped to my feet. Then
-Charles had come!
-
-An instant she stood as if stricken to a statue in mid-rage.
-
-And then she cried out, and there was a furious triumph in her voice--a
-kind of joy that matched itself to, and blended with, the fierce and
-reckless beauty of her shaken jewels, possessed her.
-
-“Charles,” she cried, “come in! Come in!”
-
-Slowly the window opened and a man entered. He drew back in amaze at the
-sight of me, and turned to her with an air that was all one question.
-
-“I thought you would never come,” she said.
-
-He was a big blond man, and as he turned from the one to the other of
-us, with his helpless, inquiring face, and eyes that blinked from the
-outer darkness, he looked oddly like a sleepy schoolboy who has been
-awakened from an afternoon nap by the teacher's ruler.
-
-“Katherine,” he finally stammered, “what is this? Who is this man?” He
-passed his hand across his forehead as one may do who doubts whether or
-not he dreams; and walked towards the table.
-
-“Charles,” she said, “I have shot the old man.” I have seen a beef
-stricken on the head with a mallet look at its executioner with big eyes
-for an instant before the quivering in its limbs set in and it sank to
-the ground. So this Charles looked with wide, stupid eyes, and shivered,
-and dropped the great bulk of him into a chair. His head sank upon his
-hand. But finally he looked up, and spoke in a confused voice, as if
-through a mist. “Good God, Katherine, what do you mean?”
-
-“I mean,” she said, framing the words slowly, as one speaks a lesson to
-a child, “I mean that I have killed the old man.”
-
-And moving swiftly across the room she flung back the heavy red curtain
-at the end of it; and I saw the answer to my many questionings.
-
-The body lay upon its back, with one arm bent, the hand across the
-chest, and the fingers spread wide. The face was that of a man of sixty
-or thereabouts, but, indeed, so deeply lined and wrinkled and pouched
-with evil living that the age even in life must have been hard to
-determine. Blood was coagulating about a bullet wound in the temple,
-and there were powder burns on the forehead. The shot had been fired at
-close range, evidently from the weapon with which I had been confronted
-on my entrance; and the sound had been so muffled in the curtain that it
-was little wonder that the servants in the rooms above, and across the
-house, had not heard it. He had a monstrous nose, that man upon the
-floor, and it must have been a red nose in life; but now it was of a
-bluish-white color, like the skin of an old and scrawny fowl. That, and
-the thin, drawn-up legs, and the big flabby paunch of the thing, robbed
-the sight, for me, of all the solemnity which (we are taught) exudes
-from the presence of death. It made me sick; and yet I cackled with
-sheer hysteria, too; or rather my strained nerves jarred and laughed, if
-not myself. It was too damned grotesque.
-
-Herself, she did not look at it. She looked at the man called Charles;
-and he, with a shudder, lifted his slow gaze from the thing behind the
-curtain to her face.
-
-She was the first to speak, and the terrible joy with which she had bade
-Charles to enter still dominated her accents.
-
-“Don't you understand, Charles? This man,” and she indicated me with the
-pistol, “this man takes the blame of this. He is a thief. He came just
-after--just afterwards. And I held him for your coming. Don't you see?
-Don't you see? His presence clears us of this deed!”
-
-“_Us?_” queried Charles.
-
-“Not _us?_” she asked.
-
-“My God, Katherine,” he burst forth, “why did you do this thing? And
-you would heap murder on murder! Why, why, why did you do it? Why splash
-this blood upon our love? A useless thing to do! We might have--we might
-have------”
-
-He broke down and sobbed. And then: “God knows the old man never did me
-any harm,” he said. “And she'd accuse the thief, too!” he cried a moment
-later, with a kind of wondering horror.
-
-“Listen, Charles,” she said, and moved towards him; and yet with a
-sidelong glance she still took heed of me. “Listen, and understand
-me. We must act quickly--but after it happened it was necessary that I
-should see you before we could act. This man came to rob; here is his
-pistol, and in that satchel by the window are his tools, no doubt. He
-may tell what wild tale he will; but who will believe him? You go as you
-came; I give him up--and we--we wait awhile, and then the rest of life
-is ours.”
-
-I suppose that it is given to few men to hear their death plotted in
-their presence. But I had come to the pass by this time where it struck
-me as an impersonal thing. I listened; but somehow the full sense of
-what she said, as affecting me, did not then impinge upon my brain with
-waking force. I stood as if in a trance; I stood and looked on at those
-two contending personalities, that were concerned just now with the
-question of my life or death, as if I were a spectator in a theater--as
-if it were someone else of whom they spoke.
-
-“Go,” she cried to Charles again, “and I will give him up.”
-
-“Katherine,” he said, “and you would do this thing?”
-
-“Why?” she retorted, “what is this man's life beside mine? His soul is
-dead! I tell you, Charles, that I have come through Hell alive to gain
-one ray of happiness! But go!--and leave the rest to me.”
-
-And she grasped the bell cord and pulled it. Pulled it again and again.
-The sound wandered crazily through what remote corridors I know not.
-
-She made a step towards him. He leaped to his feet with an oath, with
-loathing in his eyes, shrank back from her, and held out a hand as if to
-ward off some unclean thing.
-
-Bewilderment lined her face. She groped to understand. And then, as the
-full significance of his gesture came home to her, she winced and swayed
-as if from a blow; and the pistol dropped from her loosened grasp to the
-floor.
-
-“You--you abandon me?” she said slowly. “You desert me, then? Love,
-Love, think how I have loved you that I did this thing! And is what I
-have suffered--what I have done--still to purchase--nothing?”
-
-She pleaded for my death; but I hope that I shall never again see on any
-human face the look of despair that was on hers. I pitied her!
-
-Heavy feet on the stairway woke me from my trance. Unregarded of them
-both I grasped my pistol from the floor and sprang for the window. A
-door opened somewhere above, and a voice asked:
-
-“You rang, Ma'am?”
-
-From without the window I looked back into the room. She stood with
-outstretched hands--hands that reached upward from the pit of torment,
-my fancy told me--and pleaded for a little love. “In all this world is
-there no little ray of love for me?”--it was so my imagination rather
-than my hearing translated the slight movement of her lips. And while
-she and the man called Charles stood thus at gaze with one another, the
-servant spoke again from the stairway.
-
-“You rang?” he asked.
-
-She slowly straightened. She steadied herself. And with her eyes still
-fixed upon those of Charles she cried:
-
-“Yes, yes, I rang, Jones! Your master is--dead. Your master's murdered!
-And there, there,” and she stabbed an accusing finger at her erstwhile
-lover, “there is the man who murdered him!”
-
-And then I turned from the window and ran from that house; and as I ran
-I saw the Dawn, like a wild, fair woman, walk up the eastern sky with
-blood-stained feet.
-
-
-
-
-XIII.--Words and Thoughts
-
-[A Play in One Act]
-
-Characters:
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Maid
-
-Period, the present. Place, any American city.
-
-The Scene _represents two drawing rooms, exact duplicates, furnished
-alike to the smallest detail. Either room might be the reflection of the
-other in a mirror. Each occupies half of the stage. The division line
-between them is indicated, towards the hack of the stage, by two pianos,
-which sit hack to back at the center of the hack drop. This division
-is carried by the pianos a quarter or a third of the way towards the
-footlights. The division is further suggested, towards the front of the
-stage, hy a couple of settees or couches, which also sit back to back._
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker _remain all the time in the room at the
-right of the stage. They are not aware of_ John Thinker _and_ Mary
-Thinker, _who are, throughout the play, in the room at the left. The_
-Thinkers, _however, are aware of the_ Speakers.
-
-_In make-up, looks, dress, etc., the two_Johns _are precisely alike.
-The same is true of_ Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker. _The_ Johns _are
-conventional-looking, prosperous Americans of from 38 to 40 years of
-age. The two_ Marys _are a few years younger._
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock _is a dried-up, querulous old woman of seventy._
-
-_The Curtain, on rising, discovers the two_ Johns _and the two_ Marys.
-_It is between 7 and 8 in the evening; they are all in evening dress,
-and are preparing to go out, putting on their gloves, etc., etc._
-
-John Speaker [_Picking up over coat._]
-
-Are you ready, Mary dear?
-
-Mary Speaker [_Holding out a gloved hand._]
-
-Quite, John dear. Button this for me, won't you, love?
-
-John Speaker [_Busy with glove._]
-
-It's been nearly a year, hasn't it, since we've been out together of
-an evening? I'm afraid Cousin Fanny is terribly trying on you at times,
-Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You know, John, I don't consider her a trial. I _love_ Cousin Fanny.
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Busy with Mary Thinker's glove._]
-
-The old cat's letting us off to-night, for a wonder, Mary. She's a
-horrible affliction!
-
-Mary Thinker [_Passionately._]
-
-Affliction is no word. She makes my life a living hell! I hate her!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Helping Mary Speaker on with coat, which action is simultaneously
-imitated hy John and Mary Thinker._]
-
-Well, we must bear with her gently, Mary. I am afraid poor Cousin Fanny
-will not be with us many more years.
-
-John Thinker [_To Mary Thinker._]
-
-One comfort is she'll die before long!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker._]
-
-Oh, John, you don't think Cousin Fanny's going to die, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker._]
-
-Don't fool yourself about her dying soon, John. There's no such luck!
-
-[_Enter Maid through door in right back to John and Mary Speaker,
-who look up. John and Mary Thinker also notice entrance of Maid and
-listen._]
-
-Maid
-
-[_To Mary Speaker._]
-
-Miss Hemlock sent me to inquire whether you were going out to-night.
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker, quickly._]
-
-The old cat's up to something!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To Maid_.]
-
-Yes. We were just starting. Does Miss Hemlock want anything? I will go
-to her if she wishes to speak with me.
-
-Maid
-
-She said, in case you were going out, that I was to tell you _not_ to do
-so.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-_Not_ to do so?
-
-Maid
-
-Yes, ma'am; that's what she said. She said in case you were getting
-ready to go out, you were to change your plans and stop at home.
-
-John Speaker [_To Maid._]
-
-Not to do so? But, surely, there must be some mistake!
-
-[_Maid shakes her head slowly, deliberately, looking fixedly at John
-Speaker; and while she is doing so John Thinker says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-Some malicious idea is working in her head tonight!
-
-Maid
-
-[_To John Speaker._]
-
-No, sir, no mistake. She said very plainly and distinctly that you were
-not to go out tonight.
-
-[_Maid bows and exits._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is not so well to-night, I'm afraid, dear, or she would
-certainly have put her request in some other way.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-If I didn't love Cousin Fanny, John, I would be tempted to believe that
-she deliberately tries at times to annoy us.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is old, and we must remember that she is very fond of us.
-We will have to bear with her.
-
-[_John Speaker takes his top coat and his wife's coat> and lays them on
-a chair, while John Thinker, who has been frowning and brooding, flings
-himself into chair and says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-For cold-blooded, devilish nerve in a man's own house, Cousin Fanny
-certainly takes the cake, Mary!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She gets more spiteful every day. She knows her power, and the more
-childish she gets the more delight she takes in playing tyrant.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Cheer up, it isn't forever! If she doesn't change her will before she
-dies, it means fifteen thousand dollars a year. That's worth a little
-trouble!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-You're away at your office all day. I'm here at home with her. It is I
-who catch all the trouble!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, after all, she's more nearly related to you, Mary, than she is to
-me.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She's my mother's third cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, then, she's my father's fifth cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-What were you thinking of, John, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing, Mary... except that
-
-Cousin Fanny is a poor, lonely old soul, after all.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Poor, lonely old woman, indeed--it's odd, isn't it, that she is related
-to both you and me, John?
-
-John Speaker
-
-She's closer to you than to me, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You couldn't call a fourth or fifth cousin very near, John.
-
-John Speaker
-
-It almost seems as if you were trying to deny the blood tie, Mary!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-No, John, dear, blood is thicker than water.
-
-John Speaker Thicker than water!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Relations are the most unpleasant persons on earth. I hate cousins.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Especially cousins who are also cousins-in-law! John Speaker
-
-But even if she were only _my_ relation, Mary, and not related to _you_
-at all, I know enough of your sweet nature to know that she would always
-be welcome in our home in spite of her little idiosyncrasies.
-
-[_Enter Cousin Fanny, to John and Mary Speaker, through door right hack.
-She coughs as she steps forward, leaning on a cane, and puts her hand to
-her chest, stop-ping. Then as she comes forward, she stumbles. John and
-Mary Speaker leap forward, put their arms behind her, and, supporting
-and leading her, conduct her tenderly down stage to chair at center of
-room they are in. John and Mary Thinker, near together at table in their
-room, lean forward eagerly and watch this entrance, and when the old
-woman stumbles, John Thinker says to Mary Thinker, nudging her:_]
-
-John Thinker
-
-You see?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-See what?
-
-John Thinker
-
-She totters!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She stumbled.
-
-John Thinker
-
-She's getting weaker.
-
-[_Mary Speaker tenderly kisses Cousin Fanny, as Mary Thinker says_:]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Weaker! She'll live to be a hundred and ten!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Not she!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-The mean kind always do!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Tenderly, to Cousin Fanny, arranging cushion behind her._]
-
-Can't I get you a wrap, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Don't you feel a draught, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Bitterly, frowning at other group_.]
-
-No draught will ever harm her!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker, sneeringly; petulantly._] You're mighty anxious
-about a _wrap_, John! But you were thinking of going out and leaving me
-practically alone in the house.
-
-John Speaker [_Deprecatingly._ ]
-
-But, Cousin Fanny----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting_.]
-
-Don't deny it! Don't take the trouble to deny it! Don't lie about it!
-You can't lie to me! Don't I see your evening clothes? And Mary, too!
-Both of you were going out--_both_ of you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, we gave it up when we learned that you wanted us to stop
-at home with you. Didn't we, John?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Querulously, childishly, shrilly._]
-
-Don't deny it, Mary, don't deny it! Don't excuse yourself! I can see you
-were going out! I can see your evening clothes!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-We'll go and change to something else, won't we, John?
-
-[_She is going, as she speaks, but Cousin Fanny cries out_:]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-[_Mary Speaker stops, and Cousin Fanny continues_:]
-
-Don't take them off. I don't want you to take them off. What do you want
-to take them off for? Are they too good for _me_ to see? Are they too
-grand for me to look at? Ain't I as good as any one you'd find if you
-went out? Heh?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, I didn't mean that. I meant----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting._]
-
-I know what you meant! Don't tell me what you meant, Mary. You meant to
-slip out and leave me here alone, both of you. It's lucky I caught you
-in time. It's lucky I have money! It's lucky I don't have to put up with
-the treatment most old folks get. I'd starve, if I were poor! I'd die of
-hunger and neglect!
-
-[_She begins to cry, and Mary Speaker says_:]
-
-Mary Speaker No, no, no, Cousin Fanny!
-
-[_Mary Speaker soothes her, in pantomime, and pets her, trying to take
-her hands away from her face, Cousin Fanny resisting, like a spoiled and
-spiteful child. John Speaker, behind Cousin Fanny and his wife, walks
-up and down, with his eyes on them, running his hand nervously and
-excitedly through his hair. While this pantomime goes on, John and Mary
-Thinker are watching and saying _:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-This is to be one of Cousin Fanny's pleasant evenings!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-This happens a dozen times a day.
-
-John Thinker She's not really crying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Pretence! She works it up to be unpleasant.
-
-John Thinker The old she-devil!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking Cousin Fanny's hand._]
-
-You know, Cousin Fanny, that we try to do our duty by you.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Flinging his hand off._]
-
-You try to do your duty by my money! I know!
-
-I see! You talk of love and duty, but it's my money you want! But I may
-fool you--I may fool you yet. It's not too late to change my will. It's
-not too late to leave it all to charity!
-
-[_She speaks these lines with a cunning leer, and John Thinker, nudging
-Mary Thinker and pointing to her, says:_]
-
-John Thinker The old cat is capable of it, too!
-
-John Speaker [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-If you should leave your money to charity, Cousin Fanny, you would find
-it made no difference with us. You know blood is thicker than water,
-Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Shrewdly, maliciously_.]
-
-So is sticky flypaper!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Come, come, you don't doubt the genuineness of our affection, do you,
-Cousin Fanny? You've known me from my boyhood, Cousin Fanny, and you've
-lived with us for ten years. You ought to know us by this time! You
-ought to know us in ten years!
-
-Mary Thinker Ten years of torture!
-
-John Thinker It can't last much longer!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Who has taken her hand again, and has been patting it as a
-continuation of his last speech, and looking at her fondly_.]
-
-You trust us, don't you, Cousin Fanny? You really are sure of our
-affection, aren't you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker. She shows that she really is willing to be convinced;
-she searches their faces wistfully; she is pathetically eager._ ]
-
-John, John, you really _do_ care for me, don't you? [_She takes a hand
-of each._]
-
-It isn't _all_ on account of my money, is it? If you knew I hadn't a
-cent, you'd still be good to me, wouldn't you?
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker [_Together._]
-
-Yes, yes, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I lost it all; if I told you I'd lost it all, you'd be just the same,
-wouldn't you?
-
-[_John Speaker and Mary Speaker exchange glances over her head, and John
-Speaker drops her hand, while John Thinker grabs Mary Thinker excitedly
-by the arm and says quickly_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-My God, you don't suppose she's really _lost_ it, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-No! This is just one of her cunning spells now. She can be as crafty as
-a witch.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I hadn't a cent you'd still care for me, wouldn't you, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Why, Cousin Fanny, you know I would!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-But I'm hard on you at times. I'm unjust. I don't mean to be spiteful,
-but I _am_ spiteful. When we get old we get suspicious of people. We get
-suspicious of everybody. And suspicion makes us spiteful and unjust. I
-know I'm not easy to live with, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker [_Kissing Cousin Fanny._]
-
-You get such strange notions, Cousin Fanny!
-
-John Thinker
-
-And such true ones, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Tell me the truth, Mary. You find me a trial, Mary. You and John find me
-a trial!
-
-Mary Speaker and John Speaker [_Together._ ]
-
-Never, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Mary Thinker and John Thinker [_Together._ ]
-
-Always, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny And that is the truth?
-
-John Speaker, John Thinker, Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker [_All
-together._ ]
-
-And that is the truth, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-You don't know how suspicious one gets!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Petting her_.]
-
-But suspicion never stays long in your good heart, Cousin Fanny. There's
-no room for it there, I know. But don't you think you'd better go to bed
-now? Let me call the maid.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing up in chair; suspicion and meanness all awake again_.]
-
-To bed? Why to bed? Why do you want to pack me off to bed? I know! I
-know why! You want me to go to bed so you two can talk about me. So you
-can talk me over! So you can speculate on how long I will live. I know
-you! I know what you talk about when I'm not around! I know what you've
-been waiting and hoping for the last ten years!
-
-[_Begins to cry._]
-
-Well, you won't have long to wait now. The time's almost come! I feel
-it's almost here. You'll get the money soon enough!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Soothing her_.]
-
-There, there, Cousin Fanny, don't go on like this!
-
-You know it isn't true--you know you'll live ten years yet!
-
-[_John Speaker runs his hands through his hair and looks silently at
-Mary Speaker, and John Thinker, with the same gesture, says to Mary
-Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-If I thought she'd live ten years yet----!
-
-[_Pauses._]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Well, if you thought she'd live ten years yet----?
-
-John Thinker [_With a gesture of de pair._ ]
-
-My God--ten years like the last ten years! Ten years! Talk about earning
-money! If it hasn't been earned ten times over!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Fiercely._]
-
-You see it mornings and evenings. I have it all day long, and every
-day. I've had it for ten years. I go nowhere, I see no one. I have no
-pleasures. I have no friends; I've lost my friends. I'm losing my youth.
-I'm losing my looks. I'm losing my very soul. I'm shedding my life's
-blood drop by drop to keep that querulous fool alive--just merely alive!
-I'm tired of it! I'm sick of it! I'm desperate! I'm dying from her, I
-tell you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Still soothing Cousin Fanny, but speaking with one hand nervously
-clutching her own head as she does so_.]
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny--you'd better go to bed now!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-I won't go to bed yet! I want my medicine. It's time for my medicine
-now. I won't go to bed till I've had my sleeping tablets.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Where are they, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-On top of the bookcase there. The small phial. [_John Speaker goes to
-the bookcase and begins to rummage for phial, while John Thinker says,
-meditatively_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-I suppose if one ever gave her the wrong medicine by mistake it would be
-called by some ugly name!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-People like her never get the wrong medicine given to them, and never
-take it by mistake themselves.
-
-John Speaker [_Finding bottle; examining it_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, didn't you have one of these about an hour ago?
-Didn't I see you take one of them right after dinner?
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Peevishly._]
-
-I don't know. I don't remember. I want one now, anyhow. My nerves are on
-the jump. You have got all my nerves on the jump. I'll take one, and nap
-here in the chair.
-
-John Speaker [_To Mary Speaker_.]
-
-She took one about an hour ago. I don't think it's quite right to let
-her have another so soon. They have a powerful depressing effect on the
-heart.
-
-Mary Speaker Let me see which ones they are.
-
-[_John Speaker holds the bottle out towards Mary Speaker, in front of
-Cousin Fanny. Cousin Fanny snatches it with a sudden motion, and laughs
-childishly. John Speaker and Mary Speaker look at each other inquiringly
-over her head._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-She really shouldn't have another one now, I'm afraid, dear. It might be
-pretty serious. [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-You _did_ take one right after dinner, didn't you, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Hugging bottle to her very excitedly_.]
-
-No! No! I tell you I didn't! I _will_ take one! You don't want me to get
-to sleep! You don't want me to get any rest! You want me to die!
-
-John Thinker I _know_ that she _did_ have one.
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker_.]
-
-What can you do, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking hold of Cousin Fanny's hands, and trying to take phial
-gently_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, you must be reasonable... you mustn't be
-stubborn about this. You can't have another tablet now. It's dangerous.
-It might even kill you!
-
-John Thinker
-
-It _would_ kill her as certainly as she sits there. John Speaker
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny... it might be dangerous.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John, don't struggle with her! Don't you know if you struggle with her
-it is likely to prove fatal? The doctor says the _least_ strain will
-prove fatal.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Whimpering and struggling._]
-
-Let me have it! Let me alone! Let go of my hands! You want to kill me!
-You want me to die so you can get my money!
-
-John Speaker [_Releasing her._]
-
-No! No! No! Cousin Fanny... Come, be reasonable!
-
-[_He reaches for her hands again, and she grabs his hand and bites it.
-He draws back and says_:]
-
-Damn!
-
-[_Nurses his hand._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Did she bite you?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes.
-
-[_Nurses his hand, and Mary Speaker examines it, while Cousin Fanny
-pulls cork from phial with teeth, and John Thinker says_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-The old viper has teeth yet!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is a cat... she is a she-devil... she is a witch... she has a bad
-heart....
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_To Mary Speaker, pointing to Cousin Fanny, who is shaking tablet out
-of bottle; she drops one and gropes for it, and shakes another more
-carefully, with air of childish triumph._]
-
-Mary, what _can_ I do? She _will_ have it! And if I struggle with her
-it will kill her! She is too weak to struggle! It will kill her to
-struggle! And if I let her take the tablet it may do her harm!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Perhaps the tablet won't do her any harm, John.
-
-John Thinker
-
-It will kill her as surely as she sits there. I know it will and _you_
-know it will.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Maybe it won't hurt her, Mary... but we can never tell.... I'm afraid...
-I'm afraid it really _might_ harm her....
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Putting tablet into her mouth_.]
-
-There! I'm going to sleep, now.... I'm going to sleep in spite of you.
-You hate me--both of you hate me--but you can't prevent me going to
-sleep!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-She's taken it, John. Do you suppose she really _did_ have one before?
-
-John Speaker [To Cousin Fanny.]
-
-Cousin Fanny, you _didn't_ have one before, did you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_She has closed her eyes; she opens them and rocks back and forth,
-laughing foolishly_.]
-
-Yes!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking out handkerchief; mopping fore-head_.]
-
-I don't believe she did. She says she did, but she doesn't know.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Rocking and laughing sillily._]
-
-Yes, I did! You know I did!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She doesn't know.... She doesn't know whether she did or not.... She
-hasn't really been right in her mind for a long time. I don't think she
-had one before.
-
-[_As he speaks Cousin Fanny ceases rocking and leans hack in her chair,
-closing her eyes. From this time on the two Johns and the two Marys
-stare at her intently, never taking their eyes off of her while they
-speak._]
-
-John Thinker
-
-She _did_ have one before.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-I _know_ she did.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will she die? Will I see her die? I should hate to see her die!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She _would_ have that tablet... she WOULD have it. If I had taken it
-away from her by force it would have killed her; the struggle would have
-killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will I see her die? Will she die?
-
-John Speaker
-
-I let her have it to save her life... it was to save her life that I
-quit struggling with her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-If she dies... but _will_ she die?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing from her lethargy slightly; open-ing her eyes._]
-
-John... Mary.... You really love me, don't you? Don't you? You really...
-really...
-
-[_Sinks back, with head slightly on one side and eyes closed again; does
-not move after this._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_They all speak with lowered voices now._] She is asleep. She really
-needed the tablet. It was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and
-overwrought, and it has put her to sleep.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes, it was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and overwrought, and it
-has put her to sleep.
-
-... And you know, Mary, she _would_ have t... if I had _struggled_ with
-her, she would have _died!_ A struggle would have killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-And now she will die because there was no struggle.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Is she breathing quite naturally, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker Quite. Quite naturally.
-
-Mary Thinker _Death_ is quite natural.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Well, if she had struggled and died... if she had died through any fault
-of mine... I would always have reproached myself....
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You need never reproach
-yourself with regard to her....
-
-John Thinker
-
-She was old. She was very old. She will be better dead.
-
-Mary Thinker She is not quite dead.
-
-John Speaker
-
-I don't like the way she is breathing.... She is scarcely breathing....
-She doesn't seem to be breathing at all!
-
-Mary Speaker Old people breathe very quietly.
-
-Mary Thinker Old people die very quietly.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is dead!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary... Mary... is she breathing at all? Mary Speaker
-
-Call the maid.... Send for the doctor.... Call the maid!
-
-John Thinker It is too late for any doctor.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Too late!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary, Mary.... My God... she can't be _dead!_
-
-Mary Speaker [_Bending above her._]
-
-John, dear... try to bear it bravely... but... but I'm afraid she is....
-Poor Cousin Fanny has left us!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Rapidly_.]
-
-Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny....
-
-John Thinker
-
-Fifteen thousand a year... fifteen thousand a year.... Why do I think of
-that?... But I can't help it.... I can't help thinking of it....
-
-Mary Speaker I'll go get the maid.
-
-[_Going_.]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Stop.... Wait, Mary.... Don't call her yet... get her presently.... I
-don't want to be alone just now.... I'm in a kind of fog....
-
-[_Lights go out as he says this; he continues in the darkness._]
-
-I'm all in the dark.
-
-[_Lights on again_.]
-
-[_In the interim, which is very short, Cousin Fanny has gone over to the
-room on the left in which are John and Mary Thinker, and sits in chair
-corresponding to one which she has just left._]
-
-[_She is silent and motionless, but her head is lifted; her eyes are
-open; she is alive again. When lights go on again, John and Mary Speaker
-still stand before chair she has left as if she were in it; it is
-apparent that they believe themselves to be still looking at the old
-woman._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Nonsense... all in the dark?... What do you mean by all in the dark?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing now. It has passed....
-
-[Pointing to chair where Cousin Fanny was.] She died with a smile on her
-face!
-
-John Thinker
-
-But she isn't there.... Cousin Fanny isn't there.
-
-... She's here.... She's over here with us... over here with _us_!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Here with us... over here, forever, now.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Holding John Speaker's hand and gazing at vacant chair_.]
-
-How beautiful she looks! She is at rest, now! She is better off so.
-Better dead. She is better at peace!
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Violently; starting towards other room_.]
-
-My God. I'm going to stop it... stop it... stop that lying... stop it
-at any cost.... I'm going to stop that pretending... that damned
-pretending....
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Quickly getting in front of him; holding him back._]
-
-What are you going to do?
-
-John Thinker
-
-Stop it, I tell you.... Tell the truth... stop that pretense....
-
-[_Moves towards the other room. As he does so, Mary Speaker and John
-Speaker, for the first time become aware of John and Mary Thinker, and
-shrink back in terror and alarm, clinging together, confused, convicted,
-abject, retreating, powerless; Cousin Fanny leaps in front of John
-Thinker at same instant, and bars him back, saying:_]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Why? I _will_ stop this pretense... Why not?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_All four of the others lean forward and hang eagerly upon her words_.]
-
-You must not. It can't be done. It is the foundation upon which your
-society rests. It is necessary..._ over there!_
-
-CURTAIN
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Carter, and Other People
-
-Author: Don Marquis
-
-Release Date: May 1, 2016 [EBook #51913]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE
-
-By Don Marquis
-
-D. Appleton and Co.
-
-1921
-
-
-
-
-FOREWORD
-
-|I wish to acknowledge my indebtedness to the editors of several
-magazines for permission to reprint the following stories in book form.
-"Carter" was originally published in _Harpers Monthly Magazine_ under
-the title "The Mulatto."
-
-"Death and Old Man Murtrie" was printed in The New _Republic_; others
-were first brought out in _Everybody's Magazine, Short Stories, Putnam's
-Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post_. "The Penitent" was originally
-printed in _The Pictorial Review_, with the title "The Healer and
-the Penitent." The plot of this story is taken from two poems, one by
-Browning and one by Owen Meredith. Happening to read these two poems,
-one after the other, I was struck by the fact that Owen Meredith had
-unwittingly written what was in effect a continuation of a situation
-invented by Browning; the plot of the one poem, telescoped into the plot
-of the other, made in effect a complete short story. I pasted the two
-situations together, so to speak, inventing an ending of my own, and had
-a short story which neither Browning nor Owen Meredith could claim as
-his-and which I scarcely have the nerve to claim as mine. And yet this
-story, taken piecemeal from the two poets, gave me more trouble than
-anything else I ever tried to write; it was all there, apparently; but
-to transpose the story into a modern American setting was a difficult
-job. It is my only essay in conscious plagiarism-I hate to call it
-plagiarism, but what else could one call it?--and I give you my word
-that it is easier to invent than to plagiarize.
-
-The one-act play, "Words and Thoughts," was written ten years ago-in
-1911-and has been offered to every theatrical manager in America, and
-refused by them all. I still believe in it as a thing that could be
-acted with effect, and I am determined to get it read, even if I
-cannot get it produced. The fact that it has been going the rounds of
-theatrical managers for ten years is no indication that it has ever been
-read.
-
-Don Marquis
-
-New York
-
-
-
-
-I.-Carter
-
-|Carter was not exactly a negro, but he was a "nigger." Seven drops of
-his blood out of every eight were Caucasian. The eighth, being African,
-classified him. The white part of him despised and pitied the black
-part. The black part hated the white part. Consequently, wherever Carter
-went he carried his own hell along inside of him.
-
-Carter began to learn that he was a nigger very early in life. Nigger
-children are not left long in doubt anywhere, and especially in the
-South. Carter first saw the light--and the shadows--of day in Atlanta.
-The color line itself, about which one hears so much talk, seemed to run
-along one end of the alley in which he was born. It was an alley with a
-gutter and a great deal of mud in it. At the corner, where it gave into
-a little narrow street not much better than an alley itself, the mud was
-the thickest, deepest, and best adapted to sculptural purposes. But in
-the little street lived a number of white families. They were most
-of them mill hands, and a numerous spawn of skinny children, little
-"crackers," with faces white and sad even from babyhood, disputed the
-mud with the nigger children. Nigger babies of five, four, three, and
-even two, understood quite well that this most desirable mud, even
-though it was in the nigger alley, was claimed by the white babies as
-_their_ mud. It was in every way a more attractive sort of mud than
-any in the little street proper; and juvenile race riots were of almost
-hourly occurrence--skirmishes in which the very dogs took part. For the
-dogs grasped the situation as clearly as did the children; a "nigger"
-dog, even though he may have started in life as a white man's dog, soon
-gets a certain look about him.
-
-So there was no chance for Carter to escape the knowledge that he was
-a nigger. But it was with a thrill that he perceived in his youthful
-excursions from the home alley, that he was sometimes mistaken for a
-white child. He was so white in color that one could not tell he was a
-nigger at a casual glance.
-
-As he grew up, he made another discovery that elated and embittered him
-still more. He found out who his father was--or rather, who his father
-had been, since he never saw that gentleman. The white blood in Carter's
-veins was no common ichor. Because white people seldom speak of these
-things it does not follow that they are not known pretty generally among
-the negroes. They are, in fact, discussed.
-
-Carter went to school; he made the further discovery that he had
-brains--"white man's brains" is the way he put it to himself. Given the
-opportunity, he told himself, he could go as far as the average white
-man--perhaps further than the average. The white man's standard, nigger
-though he was, was still the standard by which he must measure himself.
-But the opportunity! Even as the youth prepared himself for it he
-perceived, hopelessly, that it would be denied him.
-
-As he matured he began to feel a strange, secret pride in that
-white family whose blood he shared. He familiarized himself with its
-genealogy. There is many a courtier who cannot trace his ancestry as
-far back as Carter could. One of his forebears had signed Magna Charta;
-several had fought in the Revolutionary War. There had been a United
-States Senator in the family, and a Confederate General. At times,
-feeling the vigorous impulse of hereditary instinct and ambitions,
-Carter looked upon himself as all white man, but never for long, nor to
-any purpose. The consciousness of his negro blood pulled him down again.
-
-But, as he grew up, he ceased to herd with black negroes; he scorned
-them. He crept about the world cursing it and himself--an unfortunate
-and bitter creature that had no place; unfortunate and bitter, cursed
-with an intellect, denied that mitigation that might have come with a
-full share of the negro jovialty of disposition, forever unreconciled.
-
-There was one member of that white family from which he drew so much of
-his blood whom Carter particularly admired. Willoughby Howard was about
-Carter's own age, and he was Carter's half-brother. Howard did not
-distinguish Carter from any other mulatto; probably did not know of his
-existence. But as Howard reached manhood, and, through virtue of his
-wealth and standing and parts, began to attain an excellent place in
-the world, his rise was watched by Carter with a strange intensity of
-emotion. Carter in some occult way identified himself with the career of
-Willoughby Howard--sometimes he almost worshiped Willoughby Howard,
-and then he hated him; he envied him and raged over him with the same
-breath.
-
-But mostly, as the isolation of his own condition, ate into his soul,
-he raged over himself; he pitied himself; he hated himself. Out of the
-turmoil of his spirit arose the one despairing cry, Oh, to be white,
-white, _white!_
-
-Many a night he lay awake until daybreak, measuring the slow minutes
-with the ceaseless iteration of that useless prayer: Only to be white! O
-God, for _one little year of being white!_
-
-Fruitless hours of prayers and curses!
-
-Carter went North. He went to New York. But the North, which affects to
-promise so much to the negro, in a large, loose, general way, does not
-perform in the same degree. There was only one thing which Carter would
-have thanked any one for performing; it was the one thing that could
-never be performed--he wanted to be made white. Sometimes, indeed, from
-the depths of his despair, he cried out that he wanted to be altogether
-black; but in his soul he did not really want that.
-
-Nevertheless, at several different periods he yielded to temptation
-and "went over to the whites." In the South he could not have done
-this without discovery, in spite of the color of his skin. But in the
-Northern cities, with their enormous numbers of aliens, all more or less
-strange to the American eye, Carter found no great difficulty in passing
-as white. He "looked a little foreign" to the casual glance; that was
-all.
-
-But if there was no great difficulty in it, there was no great
-satisfaction in it, either. In fact, it only made him the more bitter.
-Others might think him a white man, but he knew that he was a nigger.
-
-The incident which sent him back South, resolved to be a nigger, and to
-live and die among the niggers, might not have affected another in his
-condition just as it did Carter. But to him it showed conclusively that
-his destiny was not a matter of environment so much as a question of
-himself.
-
-He fell in love. The girl was a waitress in a cheap restaurant near the
-barber shop where Carter worked. She was herself a product of the
-East Side, struggling upward from the slums; partly Italian, with some
-Oriental strain in her that had given the least perceptible obliqueness
-to her eyes--one of those rare hybrid products which give the thinker
-pause and make him wonder what the word "American" will signify a
-century from now; a creature with very red lips and very black eyebrows;
-she seemed to know more than she really did; she had a kind of nave
-charm, a sort of allurement, without actual beauty; and her name had
-been Anglicized into Mary.
-
-And she loved Carter. This being, doomed from the cradle to despair, had
-his moment of romance. But even in his intoxication there was no hope;
-his elation was embittered and perplexed. He was tempted not to tell the
-girl that he was a nigger. But if he married her, and did not tell her,
-perhaps the first child would tell her. It might look more of a nigger
-than he did.
-
-But if he told her, would she marry a nigger? He decided he would tell
-her. Perhaps his conscience had less to do with this decision than the
-fatalism of his temperament.
-
-So he made his revelation one Sunday evening, as they walked along the
-boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton. To him, it was a tremendous
-moment. For days he had been revolving in his mind the phrases he
-would use; he had been rehearsing his plea; in his imagination he saw
-something spectacular, something histrionic, in his confession.
-
-"Mary," he said, as they sat down on a bench on the beach, "there is
-something I think I ought to tell you before we get married."
-
-The girl turned toward him her big, sleepy, dark eyes, which always
-seemed to see and understand so much more than they really did, and
-looked away again.
-
-"I ought to tell you," he said--and as he said it, staring out to sea,
-he was so imposed upon by the importance of the moment to himself that
-he almost felt as if the sea listened and the waves paused--"I ought to
-tell you that I have negro blood in my veins."
-
-She was silent. There was a moment before he dared look at her; he could
-not bear to read his doom in her eyes. But finally he did muster up
-courage enough to turn his head.
-
-The girl was placidly chewing gum and gazing at an excursion vessel that
-was making a landing at one of the piers.
-
-He thought she had not heard. "Mary," he repeated, "I have negro blood
-in my veins."
-
-"Uh-huh," said she. "I gotcha the first time, Steve! Say, I wonder if we
-couldn't take the boat back to town? Huh? Whatcha say?"
-
-He looked at her almost incredulous. She had understood, and yet she
-had not shrunk away from him! He examined her with a new interest; his
-personal drama, in which she, perforce, must share, seemed to have made
-no impression upon her whatsoever.
-
-"Do you mean," he said, hesitatingly, "that it will--that it won't make
-any difference to you? That you can marry me, that you _will_ marry me,
-in spite of--of--in spite of what I am?"
-
-"Gee! but ain't you the solemn one!" said the girl, taking hold of her
-gum and "stringing" it out from her lips. "Whatcha s'pose I care for a
-little thing like that?"
-
-He had looked for a sort of dramatic "situation"; and, behold, there was
-none! There was none simply because the girl had no vantage point from
-which to look at his life and hers. He had negro blood in his veins--and
-she simply did not care one way or the other!
-
-He felt no elation, no exultation; he believed that she _should_ have
-cared; whether her love was great enough to pardon that in him or not,
-she should have felt it as a thing that _needed_ pardon.
-
-As he stared at the girl, and she continued to chew her gum, he swiftly
-and subtly revised his estimate of her; and in his new appraisement
-there was more than a tinge of disgust. And for a moment he became
-altogether a white man in his judgment of the thing that was happening;
-he looked at the situation as a patrician of the South might have looked
-at it; the seven eighths of his blood which was white spoke:
-
-"By God!" he said, suddenly leaping to his feet and flinging aside the
-startled hand which the girl put out toward him, "I can't have anything
-to do with a woman who'd marry a nigger!"
-
-So Carter went back to Atlanta. And, curiously enough, he stepped from
-the train almost into the midst of a strange and terrible conflict of
-which the struggle in his individual breast was, in a sense, the type
-and the symbol.
-
-It was a Saturday night in September, an evening on which there began
-a memorable and sanguinary massacre of negroes; an event which has been
-variously explained and analyzed, but of which, perhaps, the underlying
-causes will never be completely understood.
-
-There was riot in the streets, a whirlwind of passion which lashed the
-town and lifted up the trivial souls of men and spun them round and
-round, and passed and left the stains of blood behind. White men were
-making innocent negroes suffer for the brutal crimes of guilty negroes.
-It had been a hot summer; scarcely a day had passed during July and
-August without bringing to the newspapers from somewhere in Georgia
-a report of a negro assault upon some white woman. A blind,
-undiscriminating anger against the whole negro race had been growing and
-growing. And when, on that Saturday afternoon, the newspapers reported
-four more crimes, in rapid succession, all in or near Atlanta, the
-cumulative rage burst into a storm.
-
-There was no danger for Carter in the streets; more than a hasty glance
-was necessary to spy out his negro taint. He stood in a doorway, in the
-heart of the business district of the town, and watched the wild work
-that went on in a large, irregular plaza, where five streets come
-together and all the car lines in the place converge. From this roughly
-triangular plaza leads Decatur Street, at one time notorious throughout
-the South for its negro dives and gambling-dens.
-
-Now and then Carter could hear the crack of a pistol, close at hand
-or far away; and again some fleeing negro would start from a place of
-temporary concealment, at the approach of a mob that beat its way along
-a street, and make a wild dash for safety, as a rabbit startled from the
-sedge-grass scurries to the brush. There was not one mob, but several;
-the different bands united, split up, and reunited, as the shifting
-winds of madness blew. The plaza, with arc lights all about it, was
-the brilliantly illuminated stage on which more than one scene of that
-disgusting melodrama was played out; from some dim hell of gloom and
-clamor to the north or east would rush a shouting group that whirled
-and swayed beneath the lights, dancing like flecks of soot in their
-brightness, to disappear in the gloom again, shouting, cursing, and
-gesticulating, down one of the thoroughfares to the west or south. And
-to Carter, in whose heart there waxed a fearful turmoil of emotions,
-even as the two races clashed along the echoing streets, there was a
-strange element of unreality about it all; or, rather, the night was
-dreadful with that superior reality which makes so much more vivid than
-waking life the intense experience of dreams. Carter thrilled; he shook;
-he was torn with terror and pity and horror and hatred.
-
-No white man felt all that Carter felt that night; nor yet any negro.
-For he was both, and he was neither; and he beheld that conflict which
-was forever active in his own nature dramatized by fate and staged with
-a thousand actors in the lighted proscenium at his feet.
-
-This thought struck Carter himself, and he turned toward another man who
-had paused in the doorway, with no clear intention, but perhaps with the
-vague impulse of addressing him, as a point of solid contact and relief
-from the sense of hurrying nightmare that possessed both the streets and
-his own spirit.
-
-Startled, he saw that the other man was Willoughby Howard. Carter
-hesitated, and then advanced a step. But whatever he had to say was
-interrupted by a crowd that swept past them from Decatur Street in
-pursuit of a panting negro. The fleeing colored man was struck a dozen
-times; he fell at the street corner near them, and the mob surged
-on again into the darkness beyond, already in full chase of another
-quarry--all but one man, who left the mob and ran back as if to assure
-himself that the prostrate negro was really dead.
-
-This was a short man, a very short man, a dwarf with a big head too
-heavy for him, and little bandy legs--legs so inadequate that he wabbled
-like an overfed poodle when he ran. Carter had seen him twice before
-that night, dodging in and out among the feet of the rioters like an
-excited cur, stumbling, falling, trodden upon; a being with bloodshot
-eyes and matted hair, hoarse voice and menacing fist, drunken and
-staggering with blood lust; the very Gnome of Riot himself come up from
-some foul cave and howling in the streets. "Kill them! Kill them!"
-he would cry, and then shake with cackling laughter. But he was only
-valiant when there was; no danger. As he approached the negro who lay
-upon the ground, and bent over him, Willoughby Howard stepped down
-from the doorway and aimed a blow at the creature with a cane. The blow
-missed, but the dwarf ran shrieking down Decatur Street.
-
-Howard bent over the negro. The negro stirred; he was not dead. Howard
-turned toward Carter and said:
-
-"He's alive! Help me get him out of the street."
-
-Together they lifted the wounded man, moving him toward the curbstone.
-He groaned and twisted, and they laid him down. Howard poured whisky
-into him from a pocket flask, and a little later he managed to struggle
-to a sitting posture on the curb, looking up at them with dazed eyes and
-a bloody face.
-
-Howard took his slow gaze from the negro and covered his face with his
-hands.
-
-Carter watched him.
-
-Of all men in the world this was the one whom Carter most honored and
-most loved--honored and loved, while he envied; he was the only man,
-perhaps, that could have touched Carter through his crust of bitterness.
-Carter listened with strained attention for what Howard would say, as if
-with some premonition that the words would be the cue for the most vital
-action of his life.
-
-"My God! My God!" said Willoughby Howard, "will this thing never stop?"
-And then he straightened himself and turned toward the shadow into which
-Carter had retired, and there was the glow and glory of a large idea on
-his face; the thought of a line of men never lacking, when once aroused,
-in the courage to do and die for a principle or a human need. "There is
-one way," he cried, stretching out his hands impulsively to Carter, and
-not knowing to whom or to what manner of man he spoke--"there is one way
-to make them pause and think! If two of us white men of the better class
-offer our lives for these poor devils--die in their defense!--the mob
-will halt; the crowd will think; we can end it! Will you do it, with me?
-Will you do it?"
-
-Two of us white men of the better class! Willoughby Howard had taken him
-for a white man!
-
-It was like an accolade. A light blazed through the haunted caverns of
-his soul; he swelled with a vast exultation.
-
-Willoughby Howard had taken him for a white man! Then, by God, he would
-be one! Since he was nothing in this life, he could at least die--and in
-his death he would be a white man! Nay, more:--he would die shoulder to
-shoulder with one of that family whose blood he shared. He would show
-that he, too, could shed that blood for an idea or a principle! For
-humanity! At the thought he could feel it singing in his veins. Oh, to
-be white, white, white! The dreams and the despairs of all his miserable
-and hampered life passed before him in a whirl, and now the cry was
-answered!
-
-"Yes," he said, lifting his head, and rising at that instant into a
-larger thing than he had ever been, "I will stand by you. I will die
-with you." And under his breath he added--"my brother."
-
-They had not long to wait. In the confused horror of that night things
-happened quickly. Even as Carter spoke the wounded negro struggled to
-his feet with a scarce articulate cry of alarm, for around the corner
-swept a mob, and the dwarf with matted hair was in the lead. He had come
-back with help to make sure of his job.
-
-With the negro cowering behind them, the white man and the mulatto
-stepped forth to face the mob. Their attitude made their intention
-obvious.
-
-"Don't be a damned fool, Willoughby Howard," said a voice from the
-crowd, "or you may get hurt yourself." And with the words there was a
-rush, and the three were in the midst of the clamoring madness, the mob
-dragging the negro from his two defenders.
-
-"Be careful--don't hurt Willoughby Howard!" said the same voice again.
-Willoughby turned, and, recognizing the speaker as an acquaintance, with
-a sudden access of scorn and fury and disgust, struck him across the
-mouth. The next moment his arms were pinioned, and he was lifted and
-flung away from the negro he had been fighting to protect by half a
-dozen men.
-
-"You fools! You fools!" he raged, struggling toward the center of
-the crowd again, "you're killing a white man there. An innocent white
-man------ Do you stop at nothing? You're killing a _white man_, I say!"
-
-"White man?" said the person whom he had struck, and who appeared to
-bear him little resentment for the blow. "Who's a white man? Not Jerry
-Carter here! He wasn't any white man. I've known him since he was a
-kid--he was just one of those yaller niggers."
-
-And Carter heard it as he died.
-
-
-
-
-II--Old Man Murtrie
-
-|Old Man Murtrie never got any fresh air at all, except on Sundays on
-his way to and from church. He lived, slept, cooked and ate back of the
-prescription case in his little dismal drug store in one of the most
-depressing quarters of Brooklyn. The store was dimly lighted by gas and
-it was always damp and suggested a tomb. Drifting feebly about in the
-pale and cold and faintly greenish radiance reflected from bottles and
-show cases, Old Man Murtrie with his bloodless face and dead white hair
-and wisps of whisker was like a ghost that has not managed to get free
-from the neighborhood of a sepulcher where its body lies disintegrating.
-
-People said that Old Man Murtrie was nearly a hundred years old,
-but this was not true; he was only getting along towards ninety. The
-neighborhood, however, seemed a little impatient with him for not dying.
-Some persons suggested that perhaps he really had been dead for a long
-time, and did not know it. If so, they thought, it might be kind to tell
-him about it.
-
-But Old Man Murtrie was not dead, any more than he was alive. And Death
-himself, who has his moments of impatience, began to get worried about
-Old Man Murtrie. It was time, Death thought, that he was dead, since he
-looked so dead; and Death had said so, both to God and to the Devil.
-
-"But I don't want to garner him, naturally," Death would say, "till
-I know which one of you is to have him. He's got to go somewhere, you
-know."
-
-God and Death and the Devil used to sit on the prescription counter in
-a row, now and then, and watch Old Man Murtrie as he slept in his humble
-little cot back there, and discuss him.
-
-God would look at Old Man Murtrie's pale little Adam's Apple sticking up
-in the faint gaslight, and moving as he snored--moving feebly, for even
-his snores were feeble--and say, with a certain distaste:
-
-"I don't want him. He can't get into Heaven."
-
-And the Devil would look at his large, weak, characterless nose;--a
-nose so big that it might have suggested force on any one but Old Man
-Murtrie--and think what a sham it was, and how effectually all its
-contemptible effort to be a real nose was exposed in Old Man Murtrie's
-sleep. And the Devil would say:
-
-"I don't want him. He can't get into Hell."
-
-And then Death would say, querulously: "But he can't go on living
-forever. My reputation is suffering."
-
-"You should take him," the Devil would say to God. "He goes to church
-on Sunday, and he is the most meek and pious and humble and prayerful
-person in all Brooklyn, and perhaps in all the world."
-
-"But he takes drugs," God would say. "You should take him, because he is
-a drug fiend."
-
-"He takes drugs," the Devil would admit, "but that doesn't make him a
-_fiend_. You have to do something besides take drugs to be a fiend. You
-will permit me to have my own notions, I am sure, on what constitutes a
-fiend."
-
-"You ought to forgive him the drugs for the sake of his piety," the
-Devil would say. "And taking drugs is his only vice. He doesn't drink,
-or smoke tobacco, or use profane language, or gamble. And he doesn't run
-after women."
-
-"You ought to forgive him the piety for the sake of the drugs," God
-would tell the Devil.
-
-"I never saw such a pair as you two," Death would say querulously.
-"Quibble, quibble, quibble!--while Old Man Murtrie goes on and on
-living! He's lived so long that he is affecting death rates and
-insurance tables, all by himself, and you know what that does to my
-reputation."
-
-And Death would stoop over and run his finger caressingly across Old Man
-Murtrie's throat, as the Old Man slept. Whereupon Old Man Murtrie would
-roll over on his back and moan in his sleep and gurgle.
-
-"He has wanted to be a cheat all his life," God would say to the Devil.
-"He has always had the impulse to give short weight and substitute
-inferior drugs in his prescriptions and overcharge children who were
-sent on errands to his store. If that isn't sin I don't know what sin
-is. You should take him."
-
-"I admit he has had those impulses," the Devil would say to God. "But
-he has never yielded to them. In my opinion having those impulses and
-conquering them makes him a great deal more virtuous than if he'd never
-had 'em. No one who is as virtuous as all that can get into Hell."
-
-"I never saw such a pair," Death would grumble. "Can't you agree with
-each other about anything?"
-
-"He didn't abstain from his vices because of any courage," God would
-say. "He abstained simply because he was afraid. It wasn't virtue in
-him; it was cowardice."
-
-"The fear of the Lord," murmured the Devil, dreamily, "is the beginning
-of all wisdom."
-
-"But not necessarily the end of it," God would remark.
-
-"Argue, argue, argue," Death would say, "and here's Old Man Murtrie
-still alive! I'm criticized about the way I do my work, but no one has
-any idea of the vacillation and inefficiency I have to contend with! I
-never saw such a pair as you two to vacillate!"
-
-Sometimes Old Man Murtrie would wake up and turn over on his couch and
-see God and Death and the Devil sitting in a row on the prescription
-counter, looking at him. But he always persuaded himself that it was
-a sort of dream, induced by the "medicine" he took; and he would take
-another dose of his "medicine" and go back to sleep again. He never
-spoke to them when he waked, but just lay on his cot and stared at them;
-and if they spoke to him he would pretend to himself that they had not
-spoken. For it was absurd to think that God and Death and the Devil
-could really be sitting there, in the dim greenish gaslight, among all
-the faintly radiant bottles, talking to each other and looking at him;
-and so Old Man Murtrie would not believe it.
-
-When he first began taking his "medicine" Old Man Murtrie took it in the
-form of a certain patent preparation which was full of opium. He wanted
-the opium more and more after he started, but he pretended to himself
-that he did not know there was much opium in that medicine. Then, when a
-federal law banished that kind of medicine from the markets, he took to
-making it for his own use. He would not take opium outright, for that
-would be to acknowledge to himself that he was an opium eater; he
-thought eating opium was a sin, and he thought of himself as sinless.
-But to make the medicine with the exact formula that its manufacturers
-had used, before they had been compelled to shut up shop, and use it,
-did not seem to him to be the same thing at all as being an opium eater.
-And yet, after the law was passed, abolishing the medicine, he would not
-sell to any one else what he made for himself; his conscience would not
-allow him to do so. Therefore, he must have known that he was eating
-opium at the same time he tried to fool himself about it.
-
-God and the Devil used to discuss the ethics of this attitude towards
-the "medicine," and Old Man Murtrie would sometimes pretend to be asleep
-and would listen to them.
-
-"He knows it is opium all right," God would say. "He is just lying to
-himself about it. He ought to go to Hell. No one that lies to himself
-that way can get into Heaven."
-
-"He's pretending for the sake of society in general and for the sake of
-religion," the Devil would say. "If he admitted to himself that it was
-opium and if he let the world know that he took opium, it might bring
-discredit on the church that he loves so well. He might become a
-stumbling block to others who are seeking salvation, and who seek it
-through the church. He is willing to sacrifice himself so as not to
-hamper others in their religious life. For my part, I think it is highly
-honorable of him, and highly virtuous. No person as moral as that in his
-instincts can get into Hell."
-
-"Talk, talk, talk!" Death would say. "The trouble with you two is that
-neither one of you wants Old Man Murtrie around where you will have to
-look at him through all eternity, and each of you is trying to put it on
-moral grounds."
-
-And Old Man Murtrie kept on living and praying and being pious and
-wanting to be bad and not daring to and taking his medicine and being
-generally as ineffectual in the world either for good or evil as a
-butterfly in a hurricane.
-
-But things took a turn. There was a faded-looking blonde woman with
-stringy hair by the name of Mable who assisted Old Man Murtrie in the
-store, keeping his books and waiting on customers, and so forth. She was
-unmarried, and one day she announced to him that she was going to have a
-child.
-
-Old Man Murtrie had often looked at her with a recollection, a dim and
-faint remembrance, of the lusts of his youth and of his middle age.
-In his youth and middle age he had lusted after many women, but he had
-never let any of them know it, because he was afraid, and he had called
-his fears virtue, and had really believed that he was virtuous.
-
-"Whom do you suspect?" asked Old Man Murtrie, leering at Mable like a
-wraith blown down the ages from the dead adulteries of ruined Babylon.
-
-"Who?" cried Mable, an unlessoned person, but with a cruel, instinctive
-humor. "Who but you!"
-
-She had expected Old Man Murtrie to be outraged at her ridiculous joke,
-and, because she was unhappy herself, had anticipated enjoying his
-astounded protests. But it was she who was astounded. Old Man Murtrie's
-face was blank and his eyes were big for a moment, and then he chuckled;
-a queer little cackling chuckle. And when she went out he opened the
-door for her and cocked his head and cackled again.
-
-It gave Mable an idea. She reflected that he took so much opium that he
-might possibly be led to believe the incredible, and she might get some
-money out of him. So the next evening she brought her mother and her
-brother to the store and accused him.
-
-Old Man Murtrie chuckled and... _and admitted it!_ Whether he believed
-that it could be true or not, Mable and her people were unable to
-determine. But they made the tactical error of giving him his choice
-between marriage and money, and he chose matrimony.
-
-And then Old Man Murtrie was suddenly seized with a mania for
-confession. God and Death and the Devil used to listen to him nights,
-and they wondered over him, and began to change their minds about him, a
-little. He confessed to the officials of his church. He confessed to all
-the people whom he knew. He insisted on making a confession, a public
-confession, in the church itself and asking for the prayers of the
-preacher and congregation for his sin, and telling them that he was
-going to atone by matrimony, and asking for a blessing on the wedding.
-
-And one night, full of opium, while he-was babbling about it in his
-sleep, God and Death and the Devil sat on the prescription counter again
-and looked at him and listened to his ravings and speculated.
-
-"I'm going to have him," said the Devil. "Any one who displays such
-conspicuous bad taste that he goes around confessing that he has ruined
-a woman ought to go to Hell."
-
-"You don't want him for that reason," said God. "And you know you don't.
-You want him because you admire the idea of adultery, and think that now
-he is worthy of a place in Hell. You are rather entertained by Old Man
-Murtrie, and want him around now."
-
-"Well," said the Devil, "suppose I admit that is true! Have you any
-counter claim?"
-
-"Yes," said God. "I am going to take Old Man Murtrie into Heaven. He
-knows he is not the father of the child that is going to be born, but he
-has deliberately assumed the responsibility lest it be born fatherless,
-and I think that is a noble act."
-
-"Rubbish!" said the Devil. "That isn't the reason you want him. You want
-him because of the paternal instinct he displays. It flatters you!"
-
-"Well," said God, "why not? The paternal instinct is another name for
-the great creative force of the universe. I have been known by many
-names in many countries... they called me Osiris, the All-Father, in
-Egypt, and they called me Jehovah in Palestine, and they called me
-Zeus and Brahm... but always they recognized me as the Father. And this
-instinct for fatherliness appeals to me. Old Man Murtrie shall come to
-Heaven."
-
-"Such a pair as you two," said Death, gloomily, "I never did see!
-Discuss and discuss, but never get anywhere! And all the time Old Man
-Murtrie goes on living."
-
-And then Death added:
-
-"Why not settle this matter once and for all, right now? Why not wake
-Old Man Murtrie up and let him decide?"
-
-"Decide?" asked the Devil.
-
-"Yes,--whether he wants to go to Hell or to Heaven."
-
-"I imagine," said God, "that if we do that there can be no question as
-to which place he would rather go to."
-
-"Oh, I don't know," said the Devil. "Some people come to Hell quite
-willingly. I've been to Heaven myself, you know, and I can quite
-understand why. Are you afraid to have Old Man Murtrie make the choice?"
-
-"Wake him up, Death, wake him up," said God. "It's unusual to allow
-people to know that they are making their own decision--though all of
-them, in a sense, do make it--but wake him up, Death, and we'll see."
-
-So Death prodded Old Man Murtrie in the ribs, and they asked him. For a
-long time he thought it was only opium, but when he finally understood
-that it was really God and Death and the Devil who were there, and that
-it was really they who had often been there before, he was very much
-frightened. He was so frightened he couldn't choose.
-
-"I'll leave it to you, I'll leave it to you," said Old Man Murtrie. "Who
-am I that I should set myself up to decide?"
-
-"Well," said God, getting a little angry, perhaps, "if you don't want to
-go to Heaven, Murtrie, you don't have to. But you've been, praying to go
-to Heaven, and all that sort of thing, for seventy or eighty years, and
-I naturally thought you were in earnest. But I'm through with you... you
-can go to Hell."
-
-"Oh! Oh! Oh!" moaned Old Man Murtrie.
-
-"No," said the Devil, "I've changed my mind, too. My distaste for
-Murtrie has returned to me. I don't want him around. I won't have him in
-Hell."
-
-"See here, now!" cried Death. "You two are starting it all over again.
-I won't have it, so I won't! You aren't fair to Murtrie, and you aren't
-fair to me! This matter has got to be settled, and settled to-night!"
-
-"Well, then," said God, "settle it. I've ceased to care one way or
-another."
-
-"I will not," said Death, "I know my job, and I stick to my job. One of
-you two has got to settle it."
-
-"Toss a coin," suggested the Devil, indifferently.
-
-Death looked around for one.
-
-"There's a qu-qu-quarter in m-m-my t-t-trousers' p-p-pocket," stammered
-Old Man Murtrie, and then stuck his head under the bedclothes and
-shivered as if he had the ague.
-
-Death picked up Murtrie's poor little weazened trousers from the floor
-at the foot of the cot, where they lay sprawled untidily, and shook them
-till the quarter dropped out.
-
-He picked it up.
-
-"Heads, he goes to Heaven. Tails, he goes to Hell," said Death, and
-tossed the coin to the ceiling. Murtrie heard it hit the ceiling, and
-started. He heard it hit the floor, and bounce, and jingle and spin and
-roll and come to rest. And he thrust his head deeper under the covers
-and lay there quaking. He did not dare look.
-
-"Look at it, Murtrie," said Death.
-
-"Oh! Oh! Oh!" groaned Murtrie, shaking the cot.
-
-But Death reached over and caught him by the neck and turned his face so
-that he could not help seeing. And Old Man Murtrie looked and saw that
-the coin had fallen with the side up that sent him to----
-
-But, really, why should I tell you? Go and worry about your own soul,
-and let Old Man Murtrie's alone.
-
-
-
-
-III.--Never Say Die
-
-|There seemed nothing left but suicide.
-
-But how? In what manner? By what method? Mr. Gooley lay on his bed and
-thought--or tried to think. The pain in his head, which had been there
-ever since the day after he had last eaten, prevented easy and coherent
-thought.
-
-It had been three days ago that the pain left his stomach and went into
-his head. Hunger had become a cerebral thing, he told himself. His body
-had felt hunger so long that it refused to feel it any longer; it had
-shifted the burden to his brain.
-
-"It has passed the buck to my mind, my stomach has," murmured Mr. Gooley
-feebly. And the mind, less by the process of coherent and connected
-thought than by a sudden impulsive pounce, had grasped the idea of
-suicide.
-
-"Not with a knife," considered Mr. Gooley. He had no knife. He had no
-money to buy a knife. He had no strength to go down the three flights
-of stairs in the cheap Brooklyn lodging house where he lay, and borrow a
-knife from the landlady who came and went vaguely in the nether regions,
-dim and damp and dismal.
-
-"Not with a knife," repeated Mr. Gooley. And a large cockroach, which
-had been crawling along the footpiece of the old-fashioned wooden bed,
-stopped crawling at the words as if it understood, and turned about and
-looked at him.
-
-Mr. Gooley wondered painfully, for it was a pain even to wonder about
-anything, why this cockroach should remind him of somebody who was
-somehow connected with a knife, and not unpleasantly connected with a
-knife. The cockroach stood up on the hindmost pair of his six legs, and
-seemed to put his head on one side and motion with his front legs at Mr.
-Gooley.
-
-"I get you," said Mr. Gooley, conscious that his mind was wandering from
-the point, and willing to let it wander. "I know who you are! You were
-Old Man Archibald Hammil, the hardware merchant back in Mapletown, where
-I was a kid, before you dried up and turned into a cockroach." And Mr.
-Gooley wept a few weak tears. For old Archibald Hammil, the village
-hardware merchant, had sold him the first knife he had ever owned.
-His father had taken him into Hammil's store to buy it on his seventh
-birthday, for a present, and it had had a buckhorn handle and two
-blades. Again he saw Old Man Hammil in his dingy brown clothes, looking
-at him, with his head on one side, as this cockroach was doing. Again
-he felt his father pat him on the head, and heard him say always to
-remember to whittle _away_ from himself, never _toward_ himself. And he
-saw himself, shy and flushed and eager, a freckle-faced boy as good and
-as bad as most boys, looking up at his father and wriggling and wanting
-to thank him, and not knowing how. That was nearly forty years ago--and
-here he was, a failure and starving and------
-
-_Why_ had he wanted a knife? Yes, he remembered now! To kill himself
-with.
-
-"It's none of your damned business, Old Man Hammil," he said to the
-cockroach, which was crawling back and forth on the footboard, and
-pausing every now and then to look at him with disapproval.
-
-Old Man Hammil had had ropes in his store, too, and guns and pistols,
-he remembered. He hadn't thought of Old Man Hammi's store in many years;
-but now he saw it, and the village street outside it, and the place
-where the stores left off on the street and the residences began, and
-berry bushes, and orchards, and clover in the grass--the random bloom,
-the little creek that bounded the town, and beyond the creek the open
-country with its waving fields of oats and rye and com. His head hurt
-him worse. He would go right back into Old Man Hammil's store and get a
-rope or a gun and end that pain.
-
-But _that_ was foolish, too. There wasn't any store. There was only Old
-Man Hammil here, shrunk to the size of a cockroach, in his rusty brown
-suit, looking at him from the footboard of the bed and telling him in
-pantomime not to kill himself.
-
-"I will too!" cried Mr. Gooley to Old Man Hammil. And he repeated, "It's
-none of _your_ damned business!"
-
-But how? Not with a knife. He had none. Not with a gun. He had none. Not
-with a rope. He had none. He thought of his suspenders. But they would
-never hold him.
-
-"Too weak, even for me," muttered Mr. Gooley. "I have shrunk so I
-don't weigh much more than Old Man Hammil there, but even at that those
-suspenders would never do the business."
-
-How did people kill themselves? He must squeeze his head till the pain
-let up a little, so he could think. Poison! That was it--yes, poison!
-And then he cackled out a small, dry, throaty laugh, his Adam's apple
-fluttering in his weazened throat under his sandy beard. Poison! He
-_hadn't_ any poison. He hadn't any money with which to buy poison.
-
-And then began a long, broken and miserable debate within himself. If he
-had money enough with which to buy poison, would he go and buy poison?
-Or go and buy a bowl of soup? It was some moments before Mr. Gooley
-decided.
-
-"I'd be game," he said. "I'd buy the soup. I'd give myself that one more
-chance. I must remember while I'm killing myself, that I'm not killing
-myself because I _want_ to. I'm just doing it because I've _got_ to. I'm
-not romantic. I'm just all in. It's the end; that's all."
-
-Old Man Hammil, on the footboard of the bed, permitted himself a series
-of gestures which Mr. Gooley construed as applause of this resolution.
-They angered Mr. Gooley, those gestures.
-
-"You shut up!" he told the cockroach, although that insect had not
-spoken, but only made signs. "This is none of your damned business, Old
-Man Hammil!"
-
-Old Man Hammil, he remembered, had always been a meddlesome old
-party--one of the village gossips, in fact. And that set him to thinking
-of Mapletown again.
-
-The mill pond near the schoolhouse would soon be freezing over, and
-the boys would be skating on it--it was getting into December. And they
-would be going into Old Man Hammil's store for skates and straps and
-heel plates and files. And he remembered his first pair of skates, and
-how his father had taught him the proper way to keep them sharp with a
-file. He and the old dad had always been pretty good pals, and----
-
-Good God! Why _should_ he be coming back to that? And to Old Man
-Hammil's store? It was that confounded cockroach there, reminding him of
-Old Man Hammil, that had done it. He wanted to die decently and quietly,
-and as quickly as might be, without thinking of all these things.
-He didn't want to lie there and die of starvation, he wanted to kill
-himself and be done with it without further misery--and it was a part
-of the ridiculous futility of his life, his baffled and broken and
-insignificant life, that he couldn't even kill himself competently--that
-he lay there suffering and ineffectual and full of self-pity, a prey to
-memories and harassing visions of the past, all mingled with youth and
-innocence and love, without the means of a quick escape. It was that
-damned cockroach, looking like Old Man Hammil, the village hardware
-merchant, that had brought back the village and his youth to him, and
-all those intolerable recollections.
-
-He took his dirty pillow and feebly menaced the cockroach. Feeble as the
-gesture was, the insect took alarm. It disappeared from the footboard
-of the bed. A minute later, however, he saw it climbing the wall. It
-reached the ceiling, and crawled to the center of the room. Mr. Goo-ley
-watched it. He felt as if he, too, could crawl along the ceiling. He had
-the crazy notion of trying. After all, he told himself light-headedly,
-Old Cockroach Hammil up there on the ceiling had been friendly--the only
-friendly thing, human or otherwise, that had made overtures to him in
-many, many months. And he had scared Cockroach Hammil away! He shed some
-more maudlin tears.
-
-What was the thing doing now? He watched as the insect climbed on to
-the gas pipe that came down from the ceiling. It descended the rod and
-perched itself on the gas jet. From this point of vantage it began once
-more to regard Mr. Gooley with a singular intentness.
-
-Ah! Gas! That was it! What a fool he had been not to think of it sooner!
-That was the way people killed themselves! Gas!
-
-Mr. Gooley got himself weakly out of bed. He would get the thing over as
-quickly as possible now. It would be damnably unpleasant before he lost
-consciousness, no doubt, and painful. But likely not more unpleasant and
-painful than his present state. And he simply could not bear any more of
-those recollections, any more visions.
-
-He turned his back on the cockroach, which was watching him from the
-gas jet, and went methodically to work. The window rattled; between the
-upper and lower sashes there was a crevice a quarter of an inch wide. He
-plugged it with paper. There was a break in the wall of his closet; the
-plaster had fallen away, and a chink allowed the cockroaches from his
-room easy access to the closet of the adjoining room. He plugged that
-also, and was about to turn his attention to the keyhole, when there
-came a knock on his door.
-
-Mr. Gooley's first thought was: "What can any one want with a dead man?"
-For he looked upon himself as already dead. There came a second knock,
-more peremptory than the first, and he said mechanically, "Come in!" It
-would have to be postponed a few minutes, that was all.
-
-The door opened, and in walked his landlady. She was a tall and bulky
-and worried-looking woman, who wore a faded blond wig that was always
-askew, and Mr. Gooley was afraid of her. Her wig was more askew than
-usual when she entered, and he gathered from this that she was angry
-about something--why the devil must she intrude her trivial mundane
-anger upon himself, a doomed man? It was not seemly.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she began severely, without preamble, "I have always
-looked on you as a gentleman."
-
-"Yes?" he murmured dully.
-
-"But you ain't," she continued. "You ain't no better than a cheat."
-
-He shrugged his shoulders patiently. He supposed that she was right
-about it. He owed her three weeks' room rent, and he was going to die
-and beat her out of it. But he couldn't help it.
-
-"It ain't the room rent," she went on, as if vaguely cognizant of the
-general trend of his thoughts. "It ain't the room rent alone. You either
-pay me that or you don't pay me that, and if you don't, out you go. But
-while you are here, you must conduct yourself as a gentleman should!"
-
-"Well," murmured Mr. Gooley, "haven't I?"
-
-And the cockroach, perched on the gas jet above the landlady's head, and
-apparently listening to this conversation, moved several of his legs, as
-if in surprise.
-
-"You have not!" said the landlady, straightening her wig.
-
-"What have I done, Mrs. Hinkley?" asked Mr. Gooley humbly. And Old
-Cockroach Hammil from his perch also made signs of inquiry.
-
-"What have you done! What have you done!" cried Mrs. Hinkley. "As if the
-man didn't know what he had done I You've been stealin' my gas, that's
-what you have been doin'--stealin', I say, and there's no other word for
-it!"
-
-Mr. Gooley started guiltily. He had not been stealing her gas, but it
-came over him with a shock for the first time that that was what he
-had, in effect, been planning to do. The cockroach, as if it also felt
-convicted of sin, gave the gas jet a glance of horror and moved up the
-rod to the ceiling, where it continued to listen.
-
-"Stealin'!" repeated Mrs. Hinkley. "That's what it is, nothin' else
-but stealin'. You don't ever stop to think when you use one of them gas
-plates to cook in your room, Mr. Gooley--which it is expressly forbid
-and agreed on that no cooking shall be done in these rooms when they're
-rented to you--that it's my gas you're using, and that I have to pay for
-it, and that it's just as much stealin' as if you was to put your hand
-into my pocket-book and take my money!"
-
-"Cooking? Gas plate?" muttered Mr. Gooley. "Don't say you ain't got
-one!" cried Mrs. Hinkley. "You all got 'em! Every last one of you! Don't
-you try to come none of your sweet innocence dodges over me. I know
-you, and the whole tribe of you! I ain't kept lodgers for thirty years
-without knowing the kind of people they be! 'Gas plate! Gas plate!' says
-you, as innocent as if you didn't know what a gas plate was! You got it
-hid here somewheres, and I ain't going to stir from this room until I
-get my hands on it and squash it under my feet! Come across with it, Mr.
-Gooley, come across with it!"
-
-"But I _haven't_ one," said Mr. Gooley, very ill and very weary. "You
-can look, if you want to."
-
-And he lay back upon the bed. The cockroach slyly withdrew himself from
-the ceiling, came down the wall, and crawled to the foot of the bed
-again. If Mrs. Hinkley noticed him, she said nothing; perhaps it was not
-a part of her professional policy to draw attention to cockroaches on
-the premises. She stood and regarded Mr. Gooley for some moments, while
-he turned his head away from her in apathy. Her first anger seemed to
-have spent itself. But finally, with a new resolution, she said: "And
-look I will! You got one, or else that blondined party in the next room
-has lied."
-
-She went into the closet and he heard her opening his trunk. She pulled
-it into the bedroom and examined the interior. It didn't take long. She
-dived under the bed and drew out his battered suitcase, so dilapidated
-that he had not been able to get a quarter for it at the pawnshop, but
-no more dilapidated than his trunk.
-
-She seemed struck, for the first time since her entrance, with the utter
-bareness of the room. Outside of the bed, one chair, the bureau, and
-Mr. Cooley's broken shoes at the foot of the bed, there was absolutely
-nothing in it.
-
-She sat down in the chair beside the bed. "Mr. Gooley," she said, "you
-_ain't_ got any gas plate."
-
-"No," he said.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, "you got _nothing at all._
-
-"No," he said, "nothing."
-
-"You had a passel of books and an overcoat five or six weeks ago," she
-said, "when you come here. It was seein' them books, and knowing what
-you was four or five years ago, when you lived here once before, that
-made me sure you was a gentleman."
-
-Mr. Gooley made no reply. The cockroach on the foot of the bed also
-seemed to be listening to see if Mrs. Hinkley had anything more to say,
-and suspending judgment.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," said the landlady, "I beg your pardon. You was lied on by
-one that has a gas plate herself, and when I taxed her with it, and took
-it away from her, and got rid of her, she had the impudence to say she
-thought it was _allowed_, and that everybody done it, and named you as
-one that did."
-
-Mrs. Hinkley paused, but neither Mr. Gooley nor the cockroach had
-anything to contribute to the conversation.
-
-"Gas," continued Mrs. Hinkley, "is gas. And gas costs money. I hadn't
-orter jumped on you the way I did, Mr. Gooley, but gas plates has got
-to be what you might call corns on my brain, Mr. Gooley. They're my
-sensitive spot, Mr. Gooley. If I was to tell you the half of what I have
-had to suffer from gas plates during the last thirty years, Mr. Gooley,
-you wouldn't believe it! There's them that will cheat you one way and
-there's them that will cheat you another, but the best of them will
-cheat you with gas plates, Mr. Gooley. With the exception of yourself,
-Mr. Gooley, I ain't had a lodger in thirty years that wouldn't rob me
-on the gas. Some don't think it's stealin', Mr. Gooley, when they steal
-gas. And some of 'em don't care if it is. But there ain't none of 'em
-ever thinks what a _landlady_ goes through with, year in and year out."
-
-She paused for a moment, and then, overcome with self-pity, she began to
-sniffle.
-
-"And my rent's been raised on me again, Mr. Gooley! And I'm a month
-behind! And if I ain't come across with the two months, the old month
-and the new, by day after to-morrow, out I goes; and it means the
-poorhouse as fur as I can see, because I don't know anything else but
-keeping lodgers, and I got no place to go!"
-
-She gathered her apron up and wiped her eyes and nose with it. The
-cockroach on the footboard wiped his front set of feet across his face
-sympathetically.
-
-"I got it all ready but fifteen dollars," continued Mrs. Hinkley, "and
-then in comes the gas bill this morning with _arrears_ onto it. It is
-them _arrears_, Mr. Gooley, that always knocks me out! If it wasn't for
-them arrears, I could get along. And now I got to pay out part of the
-rent money onto the gas bill, with them arrears on it, or the gas will
-be shut off this afternoon."
-
-The pain in Mr. Gooley's head was getting worse. He wished she would go.
-He hated hearing her troubles. But she continued:
-
-"It's the way them arrears come onto the bill, Mr. Gooley, that has got
-me sore. About a week before you come here again to live, Mr. Gooley,
-there was a fellow stole fifteen dollars worth of my gas all at once. He
-went and killed himself, Mr. Gooley, and he used my gas to do it with.
-It leaked out of two jets for forty-eight hours up on the top floor,
-before the door was busted in and the body was found, and it came
-to fifteen dollars, and all on account of that man's cussedness, Mr.
-Gooley, I will likely get turned out into the street, and me sixty years
-old and no place to turn."
-
-Mr. Gooley sat up in bed feebly and looked at her. She _was_ in real
-trouble--in about as much trouble as he was. The cockroach walked
-meditatively up and down the footboard, as if thinking it over very
-seriously.
-
-Mrs. Hinkley finally rose.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, regarding him sharply, "you look kind o' done
-up!"
-
-"Uh-huh," said Mr. Gooley.
-
-She lingered in the room for a few seconds more, irresolutely, and then
-departed.
-
-Mr. Gooley thought. Gas was barred to him now. He couldn't bring himself
-to do it with gas. There was still a chance that the old woman might
-get hold of the gas money and the rent money, too, and go on for a few
-years, but if he selfishly stole twelve or fifteen dollars' worth of gas
-from her this afternoon it might be just the thing that would plunge her
-into immediate destitution. At any rate, it was, as she had said, like
-stealing money from her pocketbook. He thought of what her life as a
-rooming-house keeper must have been, and pitied her. He had known many
-rooming houses. The down-and-outers know how to gauge the reality and
-poignancy of the troubles of the down-and-out. No, he simply could not
-do it with gas.
-
-He must think of some other method. He was on the fourth floor. He might
-throw himself out of the window onto the brick walk at the back of the
-building, and die. He shuddered as he thought of it. To jump from a
-twentieth story, or from the top of the Woolworth Tower, to a certain
-death is one thing. To contemplate a fall of three or four stories that
-may maim you without killing you, is another.
-
-Nevertheless, he would do it. He pulled the paper out of the crevice
-between the window sashes, opened the window and looked down. He saw the
-back stoop and there was a dirty mop beside it; there was an ash can,
-and there were two garbage cans there. And there was a starved cat that
-sat and looked up at him. He had a tremor and drew back and covered his
-face with his hands as he thought of that cat--that knowing cat, that
-loathsome, that obscene cat.
-
-He sat down on the edge of the bed to collect his strength and summon
-his resolution. The cockroach had crawled to the head of the bed and
-seemed to wish to partake of his thoughts.
-
-"Damn you, Old Archibald Hammil!" he cried. And he scooped the cockroach
-into his hand with a sudden sweep and flung it out of the window. The
-insect fell without perceptible discomfort, and at once began to climb
-up the outside wall again, making for the window.
-
-The door opened and Mrs. Hinkley entered, her face cleft with a grin,
-and a tray in her hands.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, setting it on the wash-stand, "I'll bet you
-ain't had nothing to eat today!"
-
-On the tray was a bowl of soup, a half loaf of bread with a long keen
-bread knife, a pat of butter, a boiled egg and a cup of coffee.
-
-"No, nor yesterday, either," said Mr. Gooley, and he looked at the soup
-and at the long keen bread knife.
-
-"Here's something else I want to show you, Mr. Gooley," said the
-landlady, dodging out of the door and back in again instantly. She bore
-in her hands this time a surprising length of flexible gas tubing, and a
-small nickel-plated pearl-handled revolver.
-
-"You see that there gas tubing?" she said.
-
-"That is what that blondined party in the next room had on to her gas
-plate--the nerve of her! Strung from the gas jet clear across the room
-to the window sill. And when I throwed her out, Mr. Gooley, she wouldn't
-pay her rent, and I took this here revolver to part pay it. What kind of
-a woman is it, Mr. Gooley, that has a revolver in her room, and a loaded
-one, too?"
-
-Just then the doorbell rang in the dim lower regions, and she left the
-room to answer it.
-
-And Mr. Gooley sat and looked at the knife, with which he might so
-easily stab himself, and at the gas cord, with which he might so easily
-hang himself, and at the loaded revolver, with which he might so easily
-shoot himself.
-
-He looked also at the bowl of soup.
-
-He had the strength to reflect--a meal is a meal. But _after_ that meal,
-what? Penniless, broken in health, friendless, a failure--why prolong it
-for another twenty-four hours? A meal would prolong it, but that was
-all a meal _would_ do--and after that would come the suffering and the
-despair and the end to be faced all over again.
-
-Was he man enough to take the pistol and do it now?
-
-Or did true manhood lie the other way? Was he man enough to drink the
-soup, and dare to live and hope?
-
-Just then the cockroach, which had climbed into the window and upon the
-washstand, made for the bowl of soup.
-
-"Here!" cried Mr. Gooley, grabbing the bowl in both hands, "Old Man
-Hammil! Get away from that soup!"
-
-And the bowl being in his hands, he drank.
-
-"What do you mean by Old Man Hammil?"
-
-It was Mrs. Hinkley who spoke. She stood again in the doorway, with a
-letter in her hands and a look of wonder on her face.
-
-Mr. Gooley set down the soup bowl. By an effort of the will he had
-only drunk half the liquid. He had heard somewhere that those who are
-suffering from starvation had better go slow at first when they get hold
-of food again. And he already felt better, warmed and resurrected, from
-the first gulp.
-
-"What," demanded the landlady, "do you mean by yelling out about Old Man
-Hammil?"
-
-"Why," said Mr. Gooley, feeling foolish, and looking it, "I was talking
-to that cockroach there. He looks sort of like some one I knew when I
-was a kid, by the name of Hammil--Archibald Hammil."
-
-"_Where_ was you a kid?" asked Mrs. Hinkley.
-
-"In a place called Mapletown--Mapletown, Illinois," said Mr. Gooley.
-"There's where I knew Old Man Hammil."
-
-"Well," said the landlady, "when you go back there you won't see him.
-He's dead. He died a week ago. This letter tells it. I was his niece.
-And the old man went and left me his hardware store. I never expected
-it. But all his kids is dead--it seems he outlived 'em all, and he was
-nearly ninety when he passed away."
-
-"Well," said Mr. Gooley, "I don't remember you."
-
-"You wouldn't," said the landlady. "You must have been in short pants
-when I ran away from home and married the hardware drummer. But I'll bet
-you the old-timers in that burg still remembers it against me!"
-
-"The kids will be coming into that store about now to get their skates
-sharpened," said Mr. Gooley, looking at the boiled egg.
-
-"Uh-huh!" said Mrs. Hinkley. "Don't you want to go back home and help
-sharpen 'em? I'm goin' back and run that there store, and I'll need a
-clerk, I suppose."
-
-"Uh-huh," said Mr. Gooley, breaking the eggshell.
-
-The cockroach, busy with a crumb on the floor, waved his three starboard
-legs genially at Mr. Gooley and Mrs. Hinkley--as if, in fact, he were
-winking with his feet.
-
-
-
-
-IV.--McDermott
-
-|McDermott had gone over with a cargo of mules. The animals were
-disembarked at a Channel port, received by officers of that grand
-organization which guesses right so frequently, the Quartermaster Corps,
-and started in a southerly direction, in carload lots, toward the Toul
-sector of the Western Front. McDermott went with one of the carloads
-in an unofficial capacity. He had no business in the war zone. But the
-Quartermaster Corps, or that part of it in charge of his particular car,
-was in no mood to be harsh toward any one who seemed to understand the
-wants and humors of mules and who was willing to associate with them.
-And so, with his blue overalls and his red beard, McDermott went along.
-
-"I'll have a look at the war," said McDermott, "and if I like it, I'll
-jine it."
-
-"And if you don't like it," said the teamster to whom he confided his
-intention, "I reckon you'll stop it?"
-
-"I dunno," replied McDermott, "as I would be justified in stoppin' a
-good war. The McDermotts has niver been great hands f'r stoppin' wars.
-The McDermotts is always more like to be startin' wars."
-
-McDermott got a look at the war sooner than any one, including the high
-command of the Entente Allies, would have thought likely--or, rather,
-the war got a look at McDermott. The carload of mules, separated from
-its right and proper train, got too far eastward at just the time
-the Germans got too far westward. It was in April, 1918, that, having
-entered Hazebrouck from the north, McDermott and his mules left it
-again, bound eastward. They passed through a turmoil of guns and
-lorries, Scotchmen and ambulances, Englishmen, tanks and ammunition
-wagons, Irishmen, colonials and field kitchens, all moving slowly
-eastward, and came to a halt at a little village where they should not
-have been at all, halfway between the northern rim of the forest of
-Nieppe and Bailleul.
-
-The mules did not stay there long.
-
-"I'll stretch me legs a bit," said McDermott, climbing off the car
-and strolling toward a Grande Place surrounded by sixteenth-century
-architecture. And just then something passed over the Renaissance roofs
-with the scream of one of Dante's devils, struck McDermott's car of
-mules with a great noise and a burst of flame, and straightway created a
-situation in which there was neither car nor mules.
-
-For a minute it seemed to McDermott that possibly there was no
-McDermott, either. When McDermott regained consciousness of McDermott,
-he was sitting on the ground, and he sat there and felt of himself for
-many seconds before he spoke or rose. Great guns he had been hearing for
-hours, and a rattle and roll of small-arms fire had been getting nearer
-all that day; but it seemed to McDermott that there was something quite
-vicious and personal about the big shell that had separated him forever
-from his mules. Not that he had loved the mules, but he loved McDermott.
-
-"Mules," said he, still sitting on the ground, but trying to get his
-philosophy of life on to its legs again, "is here wan minute an' gawn
-the nixt. Mules is fickle an' untrustworthy animals. Here was thim
-mules, wigglin' their long ears and arsk-in' f'r Gawd's sake c'u'd they
-have a dhrink of wather, an' promisin' a lifelong friendship--but where
-is thim mules now?"
-
-He scratched his red head as he spoke, feeling-of an old scar under the
-thick thatch of hair. The wound had been made some years previously
-with a bung starter, and whenever McDermott was agitated he caressed it
-tenderly.
-
-He got up, turned about and regarded the extraordinary Grande Place.
-There had once been several pretty little shops about it, he could see,
-with pleasant courtyards, where the April sun was trying to bring green
-things into life again, but now some of these were in newly made and
-smoking ruins. The shell that had stricken McDermott's mules from the
-roster of existence had not been the only one to fall into the village
-recently.
-
-But it was neither old ruins nor new ruins that interested McDermott
-chiefly. It was the humanity that flowed through the Grande Place in a
-feeble trickle westward, and the humanity that stayed there.
-
-Women and old men went by with household treasures slung in bundles or
-pushed before them in carts and perambulators, and they were wearing
-their best clothes, as if they were going to some village fte, instead
-of into desolation and homelessness; the children whom they carried, or
-who straggled after them, were also in their holiday best. Here was an
-ancient peasant with a coop of skinny chickens on a barrow; there was a
-girl in a silk gown carrying something in a bed quilt; yonder was a boy
-of twelve on a bicycle, and two things were tied to the handlebars--a
-loaf of bread and a soldier's bayonet. Perhaps it had been his father's
-bayonet. Quietly they went westward; their lips were dumb and their
-faces showed their souls were dumb, too. A long time they had heard the
-battle growling to the eastward; and now the war was upon them. It was
-upon them, indeed; for as McDermott gazed, another shell struck full
-upon a bell-shaped tower that stood at the north side of the Grande
-Place and it leaped up in flames and fell in dust and ruin, all gone but
-one irregular point of masonry that still stuck out like a snaggle tooth
-from a trampled skull.
-
-These were the ones that were going, and almost the last of the
-dreary pageant disappeared as McDermott watched. But those who stayed
-astonished him even more by their strange actions and uncouth postures.
-
-"Don't tell me," mumbled McDermott, rubbing his scar, "that all thim
-sojers is aslape!"
-
-But asleep they were. To the east and to the north the world was one rip
-and rat-a-tat of rifle and machine-gun fire--how near, McDermott could
-not guess--and over the village whined and droned the shells, of
-great or lesser caliber; here was one gate to a hell of noise, and the
-buildings stirred and the budding vines in the courtyards moved and
-the dust itself was agitated with the breath and blast of far and near
-concussions; but yet the big open Place itself was held in the grip of a
-grotesque and incredible slumber.
-
-Sprawled in the gutters, collapsed across the doorsills, leaning against
-the walls, slept that portion of the British army; slept strangely,
-without snoring. In the middle of the Grande Place there was a young
-lieutenant bending forward across the wreck of a motor car; he had tried
-to pluck forth a basket from the tonneau and sleep had touched him with
-his fingers on the handle. And from the eastern fringes of the village
-there entered the square, as actors enter upon a stage, a group of
-a dozen men, with their arms linked together, swaying and dazed and
-stumbling. At first McDermott thought that wounded were being helped
-from the field. But these men were not wounded; they were walking in
-their sleep, and the group fell apart, as McDermott looked at them, and
-sank severally to the cobblestones. Scotchmen, Canadians, English, torn
-and battered remnants of many different commands, they had striven with
-their guns and bodies for more than a week to dam the vast, rising wave
-of the German attack--day melting into night and night burning into day
-again, till there was no such thing as time to them any longer; there
-were but two things in the world, battle and weariness, weariness and
-battle.
-
-McDermott moved across the square unchallenged. He had eaten and slept
-but little for two days himself, and he made instinctively for the open
-door of an empty inn, to search for food. In the doorway he stumbled
-across a lad who roused and spoke to him.
-
-"Jack," said the boy, looking at him with red eyes out of an old, worn
-face, "have you got the makin's?"
-
-He was in a ragged and muddied Canadian uniform, but McDermott guessed
-that he was an American.
-
-"I have that," said McDermott, producing papers and tobacco. But the boy
-had lapsed into slumber again. McDermott rolled the cigarette for him,
-placed it between his lips, waked him and lighted it for him.
-
-The boy took a puff or two, and then said dreamily: "And what the hell
-are you doin' here with them blue overalls on?"
-
-"I come to look at the war," said McDermott.
-
-The soldier glanced around the Grande Place, and a gleam of deviltry
-flashed through his utter exhaustion. "So you come to see the war, huh?
-Well, don't you wake it now. It's restin'. But if you'll take a chair
-and set down, I'll have it--called--for--you--in--in--in 'n 'our--or
-so------"
-
-His voice tailed off into sleep once more; he mangled the cigarette, the
-tobacco mingling with the scraggly beard about his drawn mouth; his head
-fell forward upon his chest. McDermott stepped past him into the Htel
-Faucon, as the inn had called itself. He found no food, but he found
-liquor there.
-
-"Frinch booze," said McDermott, getting the cork out of a bottle of
-brandy and sniffing it; "but booze is booze!"
-
-And more booze is more booze, especially upon an empty stomach. It was
-after the fourth drink that McDermott pulled his chair up to one of the
-open windows of the inn and sat down, with the brandy beside him.
-
-"I'm neglictin' that war I come all this way to see," said McDermott.
-
-The Grande Place, still shaken by the tremendous and unceasing
-pulsations of battle, far and near, was beginning to wake up. A fresh,
-or, at least, a fresher, battalion was arriving over the spur line of
-railroad along which McDermott's mules had been so mistakenly shunted,
-and was moving eastward through the town to the firing line. The men
-whom McDermott had seen asleep were rising at the word of command;
-taking their weapons, falling in, and staggering back to the
-interminable battle once more.
-
-"I dunno," mused McDermott, as the tired men straggled past, "whether I
-want to be afther j'inin' that war or not. It makes all thim lads that
-slapey! I dunno phwat the devil it is, the Frinch booze bein' so close
-to me, inside, or that war so close to me, outside, but I'm gittin'
-slapey m'silf."
-
-It was, likely, the brandy. There had not been a great deal of French
-brandy in McDermott's previous experience, and he did not stint himself.
-It was somewhere between the ninth and the fifteenth swallows of it that
-McDermott remarked to himself, rubbing the scar on his head:
-
-"I w'u'd jine that war now, if I c'u'd be sure which way it had wint!"
-
-And then he slid gently out of his chair and went to sleep on the floor
-just inside the open window of the Htel Fauon.
-
-The war crept closer and took another look at McDermott. As the warm
-golden afternoon waned, the British troops, fighting like fiends for
-every inch of ground, exacting a ghastly toll of lives from the Germans,
-were forced back into the eastern outskirts of the town. There, with
-rifle and machine gun, from walls, trees, courtyards, roofs and ruins,
-they held the advancing Germans for an hour. But they were pushed back
-again, doggedly establishing themselves in the houses of the Grande
-Place. Neither British nor Germans were dropping shells into that
-village now, each side fearful of damaging its own men.
-
-A British subaltern with a machine gun and two private soldiers entered
-the inn and were setting the gun up at McDermott's window when a
-German bullet struck the officer and he fell dead across the slumbering
-McDermott. Nevertheless, the gun was manned and fought for half an hour
-above McDermott, who stirred now and then, but did not waken. Just at
-dusk an Irish battalion struck the Germans on the right flank of their
-assaulting force, a half mile to the north of the village, rolled them
-back temporarily, and cleared the village of them. This counter attack
-took the firing line a good thousand yards eastward once more.
-
-McDermott roused, crawled from beneath the body of the British officer,
-and viewed it with surprise. "That war has been here ag'in an' me
-aslape," said McDermott. "I might jine that war if I c'u'd ketch up wid
-it--but 'tis here, 'tis there, 'tis gawn ag'in! An' how c'u'd I jine it
-wid no weapons, not even a good thick club to m' hands?"
-
-He foraged and found a piece of sausage that he had overlooked in his
-former search, ate it greedily and then stood in the doorway, listening
-to the sound of the firing. It was getting dark and northward toward
-Messines and Wytschaete and southward for more miles than he could guess
-the lightning of big guns flickered along the sky.
-
-"Anny way I w'u'd go," mused McDermott, "I w'u'd run into that war if I
-was thryin' to dodge ut. And anny wray I w'u'd go, I w'u'd miss that war
-if I was thryin' to come up wid ut. An' till I make up me mind which wan
-I want to do, here will I sthay."
-
-He opened another bottle of brandy, and drank and cogitated. Whether it
-was the cogitation or the drinks or the effect of the racket of war, his
-head began to ache dully. When McDermott's scar ached, it was his custom
-to take another drink. After a while there came a stage at which, if it
-still ached, he at least ceased to feel it aching any more.
-
-"The hotel here," he remarked, "is filled wid hospitality and midical
-tratement, and where bet-ther c'u'd I be?"
-
-And presently, once more, a deep sleep overtook him. A deeper, more
-profound sleep, indeed, than his former one. And this time the war came
-still nearer to McDermott.
-
-The British were driven back again and again occupied the town, the
-Germans in close pursuit. From house to house and from wall to wall
-the struggle went on, with grenade, rifle and bayonet. A German, with
-a Scotchman's steel in his chest, fell screaming, back through the open
-window, and his blood as he died soaked McDermott's feet. But McDermott
-slept. Full night came, thick and cloudy, and both sides sent up
-floating flares. The square was strewn with the bodies of the dead and
-the bodies of the maimed in increasing numbers; the wounded groaned and
-whimpered in the shadows of the trampled Place, crawling, if they still
-could crawl, to whatever bit of broken wall seemed to offer momentary
-shelter and praying for the stretcher bearers to be speedy. But still
-McDermott slept.
-
-At ten o'clock that night two Englishmen once more brought a machine gun
-into the Htel Fauon; they worked the weapon for twenty minutes from
-the window within ten feet of which McDermott now lay with his brandy
-bottle beside him. Once McDermott stirred; he sat up sleepily on the
-floor and murmured: "An' where is that war now? Begad, an' I don't
-belave there is anny war!"
-
-And he rolled over and went to sleep again. The men with the machine gun
-did not notice him; they were too busy. A moment later one of them sank
-with a bullet through his heart. His comrade lasted a little longer, and
-then he, too, went down, a wound in his lungs. It took him some weary
-minutes to choke and bleed to death, there in that dark place, upon the
-floor, among the dead men and McDermott's brandy bottles and the heap
-of ammunition he had brought with him. Hist struggle did not wake
-McDermott.
-
-By midnight the British had been driven back until they held the houses
-at the west end of the town and the end of the spur railroad that came
-eastward from Hazebrouck. The Germans were in the eastern part of the
-village, and between was a "no man's land," of which the Grande Place
-was a part. What was left of the Htel Faucon, with the sleeping
-McDermott in it, was toward the middle of the south side of the square.
-In the streets to the north and south of the Place patrols still clashed
-with grenade and bayonet and rifle, but the Germans attempted no further
-advance in any force after midnight. No doubt they were bringing up more
-men; no doubt, with the first morning light, they would move forward a
-regiment or two, possibly even a division, against the British who
-still clung stubbornly to the western side of the town. All the way from
-Wytschaete south to Givenchy the battle-line was broken up into many
-little bitter struggles of this sort, the British at every point facing
-great odds.
-
-When dawn came, there came with it a mist. And three men of a German
-patrol, creeping from house to house and ruin to ruin along the south
-side of that part of "no man's land" which was the Grande Place, entered
-the open door of the Htel Fauon.
-
-One of them stepped upon McDermott's stomach, where he lay sleeping and
-dreaming of the war he had come to look at.
-
-McDermott, when he had been drinking, was often cross. And especially
-was he cross if, when sleeping off his liquor, some one purposely or
-inadvertently interfered with his rightful and legitimate rest. When
-this coarse and heavy-footed intruder set his boot, albeit unwittingly,
-upon McDermott's stomach, McDermott sat up with a bellow of rage,
-instinctively and instantaneously grabbed the leg attached to the boot,
-rose as burning rocks rise from a volcano, with the leg in his hands,
-upset the man attached to the leg, and jumped with two large feet
-accurately upon the back of that person's neck. Whereupon the Boche went
-to Valhalla. McDermott, though nearer fifty than forty years old, was a
-barroom fighter of wonderful speed and technique, and this instinctive
-and spontaneous maneuver was all one motion, just as it is all one
-motion when a cat in a cellar leaps over a sack of potatoes, lands upon
-a rat, and sinks her teeth into a vital spot. The second German and
-the third German hung back an instant toward the door, and then came
-on toward the moving shadow in the midst of shadows. For their own good
-they should have come on without hanging back that second; but perhaps
-their training, otherwise so efficient, did not include barroom tactics.
-Their hesitation gave McDermott just the time he needed, for when he
-faced them he had the first German's gun in his hands.
-
-"No war," said McDermott, "can come into me slapin' chamber and stand on
-me stomach like that, and expict me to take it peaceful!"
-
-With the words he fired the first German's rifle into the second
-German. The third German, to the rear of the second one, fired his gun
-simultaneously, but perhaps he was a hit flurried, for he also fired
-directly into the second German, and there was nothing the second German
-could do but die; which he did at once. McDermott leaped at the third
-German with his rifle clubbed just as the man pressed the trigger again.
-The bullet struck McDermott's rifle, splintered the butt of it and
-knocked it from his hands; but a second later McDermott's hands were on
-the barrel of the German's gun and the two of them were struggling for
-it.
-
-There is one defect in the German military system, observers say: the
-drill masters do not teach their men independent thinking; perhaps the
-drill-masters do not have the most promising material to work upon.
-At any rate, it occurred to McDermott to kick the third German in the
-stomach while the third German was still thinking of nothing else than
-trying to depress the gun to shoot or bayonet McDermott. Thought and
-kick were as well coordinated as if they had proceeded from one of
-McDermott's late mules.
-
-The Boche went to the floor of the Htel Faucon with a groan. "Gott!" he
-said.
-
-"A stomach f'r a stomach," said Mc-Dermott, standing over him with the
-rifle. "Git up!"
-
-The German painfully arose.
-
-"Ye are me prisoner," said McDermott, "an' the furst wan I iver took.
-Hould up y'r hands! Hould thim up, I say! Not over y'r stomach, man, but
-over y'r head!"
-
-The Boche complied hurriedly.
-
-"I see ye understhand United States," said McDermott. "I was afraid ye
-might not, an' I w'u'd have to shoot ye."
-
-"_Kamerad!_" exclaimed the man.
-
-"Ye are no comrade av mine," said McDermott, peering at the man's face
-through the eery halflight of early morning, "an' comrade av mine ye
-niver was! I know ye well! Ye are Goostave Schmidt b' name, an' wanst ye
-tinded bar in a dive down b' the Brooklyn wather front!"
-
-The man stared at McDermott in silence for a long minute, and then
-recollection slowly came to him.
-
-"MagDermodd!" he said. "Batrick MagDermodd!"
-
-"The same," said McDermott.
-
-"_Gott sei dank!_" said the German. "I haf fallen into der hands of
-a friend." And with the beginning of a smile he started to lower his
-hands.
-
-"Put thim up!" cried McDermott. "Don't desave y'silf! Ye are no fri'nd
-av mine!"
-
-The smile faded, and something like a look of panic took its place on
-the German's face.
-
-"Th' last time I saw ye, ye was in bad company, f'r ye was alone," said
-McDermott. "An' I come over here lookin' f'r ye, an' I find ye in bad
-company ag'in!"
-
-"Looking?" said the German with quite sincere perplexity. "You gome here
-_looking_ for me?"
-
-The wonder on the man's face at this unpremeditated jest of his having
-crossed the Atlantic especially to look for Gustave Schmidt titillated
-McDermott's whole being. But he did not laugh, and he let the German
-wonder. "And phwy sh'u'd I not?" he said.
-
-The German thought intensely for a while. "Why _should_ you gome all der
-vay agross der Adlandic looking for _me?_" he said finally.
-
-"Ye have a short mimory," said McDermott. "Ye do not recollict the time
-ye hit me on the head wid a bung starter whin I was too soused to defind
-m'silf? The scar is there yet, bad luck to ye!"
-
-"But dot was nudding," said the German. "Dot bung-starder business was
-all a bart of der day's vork."
-
-"But ye cript up behint me," said McDermott; "an' me soused!"
-
-"But dot was der bractical vay to do it," said the German. "Dot was
-nuddings at all, dot bung-starder business. I haf forgodden it long
-ago!"
-
-"The McDermotts remimber thim compliments longer," said McDermott. "An'
-b' rights I sh'u'd give ye wan good clout wid this gun and be done wid
-ye. But I'm thinkin' I may be usin' ye otherwise."
-
-"You gome all der vay agross der Adlandic yoost because I hit you on der
-head mit a bung starder?" persisted the German, still wondering. "Dot,
-MagDermodd, I cannot belief--_Nein!_"
-
-"And ye tore up y'r citizenship papers and come all the way across
-the Atlantic just to jine this gang av murtherin' child-killers," said
-McDermott. "That I c'n belave! Yis!"
-
-"But I haf not dorn up my American cidizen papers--_Nein!_" exclaimed
-the German, earnestly. "Dose I haf kept. I gome across to fight for mein
-Faderland--dot vas orders. _Ja!_ But mein American cidizenship papers I
-haf kept, and ven der war is ofer I shall go back to Brooklyn and once
-more an American citizen be, undill der next war. _Ja!_ You haf not
-understood, but dot is der vay of it. _Ja!_"
-
-"Goostave," said McDermott, "ye have too many countries workin' f'r ye.
-But y'r takin' ordhers from m'silf now--do ye get that? C'n ye play that
-musical insthrumint there by the window?"
-
-"_Ja!_" said Gustave. "Dot gun I can vork. Dot is der Lewis machine gun.
-Id is not so good a gun as our machine gun, for our machine gun haf been
-a colossal sugcess, but id is a goot gun."
-
-"Ye been fightin' f'r the Kaiser f'r three or four years, Goostave,"
-said McDermott, menacing him with his rifle, "but this mornin' I'll be
-afther seein' that ye do a bit av work f'r thim citizenship papers, an',
-later, ye can go to hell, if ye like, an' naturalize y'rsilf in still a
-third country. Ye will shoot Germans wid that gun till I get the hang
-av the mechanism m'silf. And thin I will shoot Germans wid that gun. But
-furst, ye will give me that fancy tin soup-bowl ye're wearin'."
-
-Gustave handed over his helmet. McDermott put it on his red head.
-
-"I've been thinkin'," said McDermott, "will I jine this war, or will I
-not jine it. An' the only way ye c'n tell do ye like a thing or do ye
-not is to thry it wance. Wid y'r assistance, Goostave, I'll thry it this
-mornin', if anny more av it comes my way."
-
-More of it was coming his way. The Germans, tired of trifling with the
-small British force which held the village, had brought up the better
-part of a division during the night and were marshaling the troops for
-their favorite feat of arms, an overwhelming frontal attack _en masse_.
-The British had likewise received reinforcements, drawing from the north
-and from the south every man the hard-pressed lines could spare. But
-they were not many, perhaps some three thousand men in all, to resist
-the massed assault, with the railroad for its objective, which would
-surely come with dawn. If troops were needed in the village they were
-no less needed on the lines that flanked it. The little town, which
-had been the scene of so much desperate skirmishing the day before and
-during the first half of the night, was now about to become the ground
-of something like a battle.
-
-"There's a French division on the way," said the British colonel in
-command in the village to one of his captains. "If we can only hold them
-for an hour----"
-
-He did not finish the sentence. As he spoke the German bombardment,
-precedent to the infantry attack, began to comb the western fringes
-of the town and the railroad line behind, searching for the
-hurriedly-digged and shallow trenches, the improvised dugouts, the
-shell holes, the cellars and the embankments where the British lay. The
-British guns to the rear of the village made answer, and the uproar tore
-the mists of dawn to tatters. A shell fell short, into the middle of the
-Grande Place, and McDermott saw the broken motor car against which the
-sleeping lieutenant had leaned the day before vanish into nothingness;
-and then a house directly opposite the Htel Fauon jumped into flame
-and was no more. Looking out across the back of the stooping Gustave at
-the window, McDermott muttered, "I dunno as I w'u'd want to jine that
-war." And then he bellowed in Gustave Schmidt's ear: "Cut loose! Cut
-loose wid y'rgun! Cut loose!"
-
-"I vill not!" shrieked Gustave. "Mein Gott! Dat is mein own regiment!"
-
-"Ye lie!" shouted McDermott. "Ye will!" He thrust a bit of bayonet into
-the fleshiest part of the German's back.
-
-"I vill! I vill!" cried Gustave.
-
-"Ye will that," said McDermott, "an' the less damned nonsinse I hear
-from ye about y'r own rigimint the betther f'r ye! Ye're undher me
-own ordhers till I c'n make up me mind about this war." The mists were
-rising. In the clearing daylight at the eastern end of the square, as if
-other clouds were moving forward with a solid front, appeared the first
-gray wave of the German infantry. Close packed, shoulder to shoulder,
-three deep, they came, almost filling the space from side to side of the
-Grande Place, moving across that open stretch against the British fire
-with a certain heavy-footed and heavy-brained contempt of everything
-before them. Ten steps, and the British machine guns and rifles caught
-them. The first wave, or half of it, went down in a long writhing
-windrow, across the east end of the square, and in the instant that he
-saw it squirm and toss before the trampling second wave swept over it
-and through it, the twisting gray-clad figures on the stones reminded
-McDermott of the heaps of heaving worms he used to see at the bottom of
-his bait-can when he went fishing as a boy.
-
-"Hold that nozzle lower, Goostave!" he yelled to his captive. "Spray
-thim! Spray thim! Ye're shootin' over their heads, ye lumberin'
-Dutchman, ye!"
-
-"_Gott!_" cried Gustave, as another jab of the bayonet urged him to his
-uncongenial task.
-
-And then McDermott made one of the few errors of his military career.
-Whether it was the French brandy he had drunk to excess the night
-before, or whether it was the old bung-starter wound on his head, which
-always throbbed and jumped when he became excited, his judgment deserted
-him for an instant. For one instant he forgot that there must be no
-instants free from the immediate occupation of guiding and directing
-Gustave.
-
-"Let me see if I can't work that gun m'self," he cried.
-
-As he relaxed his vigilance, pushing the German to one side, the Boche
-suddenly struck him upon the jaw. McDermott reeled and dropped his
-rifle; before he could recover himself, the German had it. The weapon
-swung upward in the air and--just then a shell burst outside the open
-window of the Htel Fauon.
-
-Both men were flung from their feet by the concussion. For a moment
-everything was blank to McDermott. And then, stretching out his hand to
-rise, his fingers encountered something smooth and hard upon the floor.
-Automatically his grasp closed over it and he rose. At the same instant
-the German struggled to his feet, one hand behind his back, and the
-other extended, as if in entreaty.
-
-"_Kamerad_," he whined, and even as he whined he lurched nearer and
-flung at McDermott a jagged, broken bottle. McDermott ducked, and
-the dagger-like glass splintered on his helmet. And then McDermott
-struck--once. Once was enough. The Boche sank to the floor without a
-groan, lifeless. McDermott looked at him, and then, for the first time,
-looked at what he held in his own hand, the weighty thing which he had
-wielded so instinctively and with such ferocity. It was the bung starter
-of the Htel Fauon.
-
-"Goostave niver knowed what hit him," said McDermott. And if there had
-been any one to hear, in all that din, a note of regret that Gustave
-never knew might have been remarked in his voice.
-
-McDermott turned his attention to the machine gun, which, with its
-tripod, had been knocked to the floor. He squatted, with his head below
-the level of the window sill, and looked it over.
-
-"'Tis not broken," he decided, after some moments of examination. "Did
-Goostave do it so? Or did he do it so?" He removed his helmet and rubbed
-the scar under his red hair reflectively. "If I was to make up me mind
-to jine that war," mused McDermott, "this same w'u'd be a handy thing to
-take wid me. It w'u'd that! Now, did that Goostave that used to be here
-pull this pretty little thingumajig so? Or did he pull it so? Ihaveut!
-He pulled it so! And thim ca'tridges, now--do they feed in so? Or do
-they feed in so? 'T w'u'd be a handy thing, now, f'r a man that had anny
-intintions av jinin' the war to know about all thim things!"
-
-And, patiently, McDermott studied the mechanism, while the red sunlight
-turned to yellow in the Grande Place outside, and the budding green
-vines withered along the broken walls, and the stones ran blood, and the
-Htel Fauon began to fall to pieces about his ears. McDermott did not
-hurry; he felt that there was no need to hurry; he had not yet made up
-his mind whether he intended to participate in this war. By the time he
-had learned how to work that machine gun, and had used it on the Germans
-for a while, he thought, he might be vouchsafed some light on that
-particular subject. It was one of McDermott's fixed beliefs that he
-was an extremely cautious sort of man, though many of his acquaintances
-thought of him differently, and he told himself that he must not get too
-far into this war until he was sure that it was going to be congenial.
-So far, it promised well.
-
-And also, McDermott, as he puzzled over the machine gun, was not quite
-the normal McDermott. He was, rather, a supernormal McDermott. He had
-been awakened rudely from an alcoholic slumber and he had been rather
-busy ever since; so many things had taken place in his immediate
-neighborhood, and were still taking place, that he was not quite sure
-of their reality. As he sat on the floor and studied the weapon, he was
-actually, from moment to moment, more than half convinced that he was
-dreaming--he might awaken and find that that war had eluded him again.
-Perhaps he is scarcely to be chided for being in what is sometimes known
-as a state of mind.
-
-And while McDermott was looking at the machine gun, the British
-commander prayed, as a greater British commander before him had prayed
-one time, for assistance, only this one did not pray for night or
-Blucher as Wellington had done. Night was many hours beyond all
-hope and would probably bring its own hell when it came, and as for
-Prussians, there were too many Prussians now. His men would hold on;
-they had been holding on for epic days and unbelievable nights, and they
-would still hold while there was breath in their bodies, and when their
-bodies were breathless they would hold one minute more. But--God! For
-Foch's _poilus!_ There is a moment which is the ultimate moment; the
-spirit can drag the body until--until spirit and body are wrenched into
-two things. No longer. His men could die in their tracks; they were
-dying where they stood and crouched and lay, by dozens and by scores and
-by heroic hundreds--but when they were dead, who would bar the way to
-Hazebrouck, and beyond Hazebrouck, to the channel ports?
-
-That way was all but open now, if the enemy but realized it. Any moment
-they might discover it. A half-mile to the south of the village the line
-was so thinly held that one strong, quick thrust must make a gap. Let
-the enemy but fling a third of the troops he was pounding to pieces in
-the bloody streets of the town, in the torn fields that flanked it, and
-in the shambles of the Grande Place that was the center of this action,
-at that weak spot, and all was over. But with a fury mechanical,
-insensate, the Germans still came on in direct frontal attacks.
-
-The British had slain and slain and slain, firing into the gray masses
-until the water boiled in the jackets of the machine guns. Five attacks
-had broken down in the Grande Place itself--and now a sixth was forming.
-Should he still hold fast, the colonel asked himself, or should he
-retire, saving what machine guns he might, and flinging a desperate
-detachment southward in the attempt to make a stronger right flank? But
-to do that might be the very move that would awaken the Germans to their
-opportunity there. So long as they pounded, pounded at his center, he
-would take a toll of them, at least--but the moment was coming--
-
-"I have ut!" cried McDermott, and mounted his gun at the window.
-
-"It is time to retire," said the British colonel, and was about to give
-the order.
-
-"Right in their bloody backs," said McDermott to himself.
-
-And so it was. For the sixth advance of the German masses had carried
-them well into the Grande Place. McDermott, crouched at his window, cut
-loose with his gun at pointblank range as the first wave, five men deep,
-passed by him, splashing along the thick ranks from behind as one might
-sweep a garden hose down a row of vegetables. Taken thus in the rear,
-ambushed, with no knowledge of the strength of the attacking force
-behind them, the German shock troops swayed and staggered, faced about
-and fell and broke. For right into the milling herd of them, and
-into the second advancing wave, the British poured their bullets. The
-colonel, who had been about to order a retreat, ordered a charge,
-and before the stampeded remnant of the first two waves could recover
-themselves the British were on them with grenades and bayonets, flinging
-them back into the third wave, just advancing to their support, in a
-bleeding huddle of defeat.
-
-McDermott saw the beginning of that charge, and with his bung starter in
-his hand he rushed from the door to join it. But he did not see the
-end of it, nor did he see the _poilus_, as they came slouching into the
-village five minutes later to give the repulse weight and confirmation,
-redolent of onions and strange stews, but with their bayonets--those
-bayonets that are part of the men who wield them, living things,
-instinct with the beautiful, straight, keen soul of France herself.
-
-McDermott did not see them, for some more of the Htel Fauon had fallen
-on him, crushing one of his ankles and giving him a clout on the head.
-
-"Whoever it was turned loose that machine gun from the inn window, did
-the trick," said the colonel, later. "It's hardly too much to say that
-he blocked the way to Hazebrouck--for the time, at least, if one man can
-be said to have done such a thing--what's that?"
-
-"That" was McDermott, who was being carried forth, unconscious, to an
-ambulance. It was his blue overalls that had occasioned the colonel's
-surprise. He was neither French nor British nor German; palpably he was
-a civilian, and a civilian who had no business there. And in his hand he
-clasped a bung starter. His fingers were closed over it so tightly that
-in the base hospital later they found difficulty in taking it away from
-him.
-
-Owing, no doubt, to the blow on his head, McDermott was unable to recall
-clearly anything that had taken place from the moment he had first
-fallen asleep under the influence of French brandy until he awakened in
-the hospital nearly four weeks later. During this period there had been
-several intervals of more open-eyed dreaming, succeeded by lapses into
-profound stupor; but even in these open-eyed intervals, McDermott
-had not been himself. It was during one of these intervals that a
-representative of the French Government bestowed the Croix de Guerre
-upon McDermott, for it had been learned that he was the man behind the
-machine gun that had turned the tide of combat.
-
-McDermott, his eyes open, but his mind in too much of a daze even to
-wonder what the ceremony was about, sat in a wheel chair, and in company
-with half a dozen other men selected for decoration, listened to a brief
-oration in very good French, which he could not have understood had he
-been normal. In answer he muttered in a low tone, rubbing his broken and
-bandaged head: "I think maybe I will jine that war, afther all!"
-
-The French officer assumed that McDermott had spoken some sort of
-compliment to France and kissed McDermott on both cheeks, in front
-of the hospital staff, several American reporters, and as much of the
-French army as qould be spared to do honor to the occasion. The _Croix
-de Guerre_ made no impression upon McDermott, but the kiss briefly
-arrested his wandering consciousness, and he cried out, starting up in
-his chair and menacing the officer: "Where is me bung starter?" Then he
-fainted.
-
-A good many thousands of people in France and England and America
-learned from the newspapers the story of the nondescript in the blue
-overalls, who had behaved so gallantly at the crucial moment of a
-crucial fight. But McDermott never did. He seldom read newspapers. No
-one had been able to learn his name, so the reporters had given him a
-name. They called him "Dennis." And it was "Dennis" who got the fame and
-glory. McDermott would not have identified himself with Dennis had he
-seen the newspapers. When he awakened from his long, broken stupor, with
-its intervals of dazed halfconsciousness, the first thing he did was to
-steal away from that hospital; he left without having heard of Dennis or
-of the decoration of Dennis.
-
-There was one thing that he had experienced that did live hazily and
-confusedly in his memory, however, although he could not fix it in its
-relationship to any other thing. And that was the fact that he had met
-Gustave Schmidt. Three or four months after he slipped away from the
-hospital--a period of unchronicled wanderings, during which he had tried
-unsuccessfully to enlist several times--he limped into a saloon on the
-Brooklyn water front and asked Tim O'Toole, the proprietor, for his
-usual. He had just got back to Brooklyn, and he carried his earthly
-possessions in a bundle wrapped in brown paper.
-
-"I hear Yordy Crowley isn't givin' his racket this year," said
-McDermott, laying his bundle on the bar and pouring out his drink.
-
-"He is not," said Tim. "He is in France helpin' out thim English."
-
-"Yordy will make a good sojer," said McDermott. "He is a good man of his
-fists."
-
-"The Irish is all good sojers," said Mr. O'Toole, sententiously. "There
-was that man Dinnis, now, that was in all av the papers."
-
-"I did not hear av him," said McDermott. "An' phwat did he do?"
-
-"He licked th' entire German army wan morn-in'," said O'Toole, "an'
-saved England, an' the Quane of France kissed him for it. 'Twas in all
-the papers. Or, maybe," said Mr. O'Toole, "it was the King av Belg'um
-kissed him for ut. Anny-way wan of thim foreign powers kissed him wid
-the whole world lookin' on."
-
-"An' phwat did this Dinnis do thin?" asked McDermott.
-
-"He attimpted to assault the person that kissed him," said O'Toole.
-"Maybe 'twas the King av Italy. 'Twas in all the papers at th' time.
-Some wan told me ye were in France y'rsilf, Paddy."
-
-"I was that," said McDermott. "I wint wid mules."
-
-"Did ye see annything av the war?"
-
-"I did not," said McDermott. "Divil a bit of ut, barrin' a lot o'
-racket an' a big roarin' divil av a stame-boiler thing that come bustin'
-through th' air an' took away the mules that was me passport. But I come
-near seein' some av ut, wan time."
-
-"An' how was it that ye come near it, an' missed it?" inquired Tim.
-
-"I wint to slape," said McDermott. "The war was slapin', an' I laid
-m'silf down b' the side av ut an' took a nap, too. Later, I woke up in
-the hospital, some wan havin' stipped on me whilst I was slapin', or
-somethin'. They was afther keep-in' me in th' hospital indefinite, an'
-I slipped away wan mornin', dodgin' the orderlies an' nurses, or I might
-have been there yet eatin' jelly an' gettin' me face washed f'r me. An'
-afther I got back here I thried to jine that war, but th' Amurrican Army
-w'u'd not have me."
-
-"And phwy not?"
-
-"Because av me fut."
-
-"And how did ye hurt y'r fut?"
-
-"Divil a bit do I know how," said McDermott. "I'm tellin' ye 'twas done
-whilst I was aslape. I remimber gettin' soused in wan av thim Frinch
-barrooms, an' I w'u'd think it was a mule stipped on me fut whin I was
-slapin' off me souse, excipt that thim mules was gone before I got me
-souse."
-
-"An' ye saw naught av the war?" Tim was distinctly disappointed.
-
-"But little of ut, but little of ut," said McDermott. "But, Timmy,--wan
-thing I did whilst I was in France."
-
-"An' phwat was that?"
-
-"I avened up an ould grudge," said McDermott. He put away a second
-drink, rolling it over his tongue with satisfaction. "Do ye mind that
-Goostave Schmidt that used to kape bar acrost the strate? Ye do! Do ye
-mind th' time he hit me wid th' bung starter? Ye do!"
-
-"Phwat thin?"
-
-"Well, thin," said McDermott, "I met up wid him ag'in in wan av thim
-Frinch barrooms. I do not remimber phwat he said to me nor phwat I said
-to him, for I was soused, Timmy. But wan word led to another, an' I give
-him as good as he sint, an' 'twas wid a bung starter, too. I brung it
-back wid me as a sooveneer av me travels in France."
-
-And, undoing his brown paper bundle, McDermott fished forth from among
-his change of socks and shirts and underwear the bung starter of the
-Htel Fauon and laid it upon the bar for his friend's inspection.
-Something else in the bundle caught O'Toole's eye.
-
-"An' phwat is that thing ye have there?" asked Tim.
-
-"Divil a bit do I know phwat," said McDermott, picking the article up
-and tossing it carelessly upon the bar. "'Twas layin' by me cot in
-the hospital, along wid m' bung starter an' me clothes whin I come to
-m'silf, an' whin I made me sneak from that place I brung it along."
-
-It was the _Croix de Guerre_.
-
-
-
-
-V.--Looney the Mutt
-
-|Looney had but one object in life, one thought, one conscious motive
-of existence--to find Slim again. After he found Slim, things would be
-different, things would be better, somehow. Just how, Looney did not
-know.
-
-Looney did not know much, anyhow. Likely he would never have known much,
-in the most favorable circumstances. And the circumstances under which
-he had passed his life were scarcely conducive to mental growth. He
-could remember, vaguely, that he had not always been called Looney
-Hogan. There had been a time when he was called Kid Hogan. Something had
-happened inside his head one day, and then there had come a period of
-which he remembered nothing at all; after that, when he could remember
-again, he was not Kid any more, but Looney. Perhaps some one had hit him
-on the head. People were always hitting him, before he knew Slim. And
-now that Slim was gone, people were always hitting him again. When he
-was with Slim, Slim had not let people hit him--often. So he must find
-Slim again; Slim, who was the only God he had ever known.
-
-In the course of time he became known, in his own queer world, from
-Baltimore to Seattle, from Los Angeles to Boston, as Slim's Lost
-Mutt, or as Looney the Mutt. Looney did not resent being called a
-dog, particularly, but he never called himself "The Mutt"; he stuck to
-"Looney"; Slim had called him Looney, and Looney must, therefore, be
-right.
-
-The humors of Looney's world are not, uniformly, kindly humors. Giving
-Looney the Mutt a "bum steer" as to Slim's whereabouts was considered a
-legitimate jest.
-
-"Youse ain't seen Slim Matchett anywheres?" he would ask of hobo or
-wobbly, working stiff or yeggman, his faded pale-blue eyes peering from
-his weather-worn face with the same anxious intensity, the same eager
-hope, as if he had not asked the question ten thousand times before.
-
-And the other wanderer, if he were one that knew of Looney the Mutt and
-Looney's quest would answer, like as not:
-
-"Slimmy de Match? Uh-huh! I seen Slim last mont' in Chi. He's lookin'
-fer youse, Looney." One day the Burlington Crip, who lacked a hand, and
-who looked so mean that it was of common report that he had got sore at
-himself and bitten it off, varied the reply a bit by saying:
-
-"I seen Slim las' week, an' he says: 'Where t' hell's dat kid o' mine?
-Youse ain't seen nuttin' o' dat kid o' mine, has you, Crip? Dat kid o'
-mine give me de slip, Crip. He lammistered, and I ain't seen him since.
-If youse gets yer lamps on dat kid o' mine, Crip, give him a wallop on
-his mush fer me, an' tell him to come an' find me an' I'm gonna give him
-another one.'"
-
-Looney stared and wondered and grieved. It hurt him especially that Slim
-should think that he, Looney, had run away from Slim; he agonized anew
-that he could not tell Slim at once that such was not the truth. And he
-wondered and grieved at the change that must have taken place in Slim,
-who now promised him "a wallop on the mush." For Slim had never struck
-him. It was Slim who had always kept other people from striking him.
-It was Slim who had, upon occasion, struck other people to protect
-him--once, in a hangout among the lakeside sand dunes south of Chicago,
-Slim had knifed a man who had, by way of jovial byplay to enliven a dull
-afternoon, flung Looney into the fire.
-
-It never occurred to Looney to doubt, entirely, these bearers of
-misinformation. He was hunting Slim, and of course, he thought, Slim
-was hunting Looney. His nature was all credulity. Such mind as the boy
-possessed--he was somewhere in his twenties, but had the physique of
-a boy--was saturated with belief in Slim, with faith in Slim, and he
-thought that all the world must admire Slim. He did not see why any one
-should tell lies that might increase Slim's difficulties, or his own.
-
-There was a big red star he used to look at nights, when he slept in the
-open, and because it seemed to him bigger and better and more splendid
-than any of the other stars he took to calling it Slim's star. It was a
-cocky, confident-looking star; it looked as if it would know how to take
-care of itself, and Slim had been like that. It looked good-natured,
-too, and Slim had been that way. When Looney had rustled the scoffin's
-for Slim, Slim had always let him have some of the best chow--or almost
-always. And he used to talk to that star about Slim when he was alone.
-It seemed sympathetic. And although he believed the hoboes were telling
-him the truth when they said that they had seen Slim, it was apparent
-even to his intelligence that they had no real sympathy with his quest.
-
-Once he did find a certain sympathy, if no great understanding. He
-worked a week, one Spring, for a farmer in Indiana. The farmer wished
-to keep him, for that Summer at least, for Looney was docile, willing
-enough, and had a natural, unconscious tact with the work-horses. Looney
-was never afraid of animals, and they were never afraid of him. Dogs
-took to him, and the instant liking of dogs had often stood him in good
-stead in his profession.
-
-"Why won't you stay?" asked the farmer.
-
-"Slim's lookin' fer me, somewheres," said Looney. And he told the farmer
-about Slim. The farmer, having perceived Looney's mental twilight, and
-feeling kindly toward the creature, advanced an argument that he thought
-might hold him.
-
-"Slim is just as likely to find you if you stay in one place, as if you
-go travelin' all over the country," he said.
-
-"Huh-uh," said Looney. "He ain't, Mister. It's this way, Mister: every
-time I stop long any-, wheres, Slim, he passes me by."
-
-And then he continued, after a pause: "Slim, he was always good to me,
-Mister. I kinda want to be the one that finds Slim, instead of just
-stayin' still an' waitin' to be found."
-
-They were standing in the dusk by the barn, and the early stars were
-out. Looney told him about Slim's star.
-
-"I want to be the guy that does the findin'," went on Looney presently,
-"because I was the guy that done the losin'. One night they was five or
-six of us layin' under a lot of railroad ties we had propped up against
-a fence to keep the weather off, an' we figgered on hoppin' a train fer
-Chi that night. Well, the train comes along, but I'm asleep. See? The
-rest of t' gang gits into an empty in de dark, an' I don't wake up. I
-s'pose Slim he t'inks I'm wit' t' gang, but I don't wake up under them
-ties till mornin'. I went to Chi soon's I could, but I ain't never
-glommed him since, Mister. I didn't find him dere. An' dat's t' way I
-lost Slim, Mister."
-
-"Maybe," suggested the farmer, "he is dead."
-
-"Nit," said Looney. "He ain't dead. If Slim was croaked or anything, I'd
-be wised up to it. Look at that there star. Dat is Slim's star, like I
-told youse. If Slim had been bumped off, or anything, Mister, that star
-wouldn't be shinin' that way, Mister."
-
-And he went back to his own world--his world--which was a succession of
-freight and cattle cars, ruinous sheds and shelters in dubious suburbs
-near to railroad sidings, police stations, workhouses, jails, city
-missions, transient hangouts in bedraggled clumps of wood, improvised
-shacks, shared with others of his kind in vacant lots in sooty
-industrial towns, chance bivouacs amidst lumber piles and under dripping
-water tanks, lucky infrequent lodgings in slum hotels that used to
-charge fifteen cents for a bed and now charge a quarter, golden moments
-in vile barrooms and blind tigers, occasional orgies in quarries or
-gravel pits or abandoned tin-roofed tool houses, uneasy, loiterings
-and interrupted slumbers in urban parks and the squares or outskirts of
-villages. Sometimes he worked, as he had with the Indiana farmer, with
-the wheat harvesters of the Northwest, or the snow shovelers of the
-metropoli, or the fruit gatherers of California; but more often he
-loafed, and rustled grub and small coin from the charitably disposed.
-
-It all seemed the natural way of life to Looney. He could not remember
-anything else. He viewed the people of the world who did not live so,
-and whom he saw to be the majority, as strange, unaccountable beings
-whom he could never hope to understand; he vaguely perceived that they
-were stronger than he and his ever-hiking clan, and he knew that they
-might do unpleasant things to him with their laws and their courts
-and their strength, but he bore them no rancor, unlike many of his
-associates.
-
-He had no theories about work or idleness; he accepted either as it
-came; he had little conscious thought about anything, except finding
-Slim again. And one thing worried him: Slim, who was supposed to be
-looking for Looney, even as Looney was looking for Slim, left no mark.
-He was forever looking for it, searching for the traces of Slim's
-knife--a name, a date, a destination, a message bidding Looney to follow
-or to wait--on freight sheds and water tanks, and known and charted
-telegraph poles and the tool houses of construction gangs. But Slim,
-always just ahead of him, as he thought, continually returning and
-passing him, ever receding in the distance, left no mark, no wanderer's
-pateran, behind. Looney left his own marks everywhere, but, strangely
-enough, it seemed that Slim never saw them. Looney remembered that one
-time when he and Slim were together Slim had wished to meet and confer
-with the Burlington Crip, and had left word to that effect, penciled and
-carved and sown by the speech of the mouth, from the Barbary Coast to
-the Erie Basin. And the Burlington Crip, with his snaggle teeth and his
-stump where a hand had been, had joined them on the Brooklyn waterfront
-within two months. It had been simple, and Looney wondered why Slim
-omitted this easy method of communication. Perhaps Slim was using it and
-Looney was not finding the marks. He knew himself for stupid, and set
-his failure down to that, never to neglect on Slim's part. For Slim was
-Slim, and Slim could do no wrong.
-
-His habit of searching for some scratched or written word of Slim's
-became known to his whole section of the underworld, and furnished
-material for an elaboration of the standing jest at his expense. When
-ennui descended upon some chance gathering in one of the transient
-hangouts--caravanserai as familiar to the loose-foot, casual guests,
-from coast to coast, as was ever the Blackstone in Chicago or the
-Biltmore in New York to those who read this simple history--it was
-customary for some wag to say:
-
-"Looney, I seen a mark that looked like Slim's mark on a shed down in
-Alexandria, Virginny, right by where the Long Bridge starts over to
-Washington."
-
-And it might be that Looney would start at once, without a word, for
-Alexandria. Therein lay the cream of this subtle witticism, for its
-perpetrators--in Looney's swift departures.
-
-Or it might be that Looney would sit and ponder, his washed-out eyes
-interrogating the speaker in a puzzled fashion, but never doubting. And
-then the jester would say, perhaps: "Why don't you get a move onto you,
-Looney? You're gonna miss Slim again."
-
-And Looney would answer, perchance: "Slim, he ain't there now. The' was
-one of them wobblies' bump-off men sayin' he seen Slim in Tacoma two
-weeks ago, an' Slim was headin' this way. I'm gonna wait fer him a while
-longer."
-
-But he never waited long. He could never make himself. As he had told
-the Indiana farmer, he was afraid to wait long. It was the Burlington
-Crip who had made him afraid to do that. The Crip had told him one time:
-"Looney, Slim went through here last night, while youse was asleep over
-on that lumber pile. I forgets youse is lookin' fer him or I'd a tipped
-him off youse was here."
-
-Slim had been within a hundred yards of him, and he had been asleep and
-had never known! What would Slim think, if he knew that? So thereafter
-he was continually tortured by the fancy that Slim might be passing
-him in the night; or that Slim, while he himself was riding the rods
-underneath a railway car, might be on the blind baggage of that very
-train, and would hop off first and be missed again. From day to day he
-became more muddled and perplexed trying to decide whether it would be
-better to choose this route or that, whether it would be better to stop
-here a week, or go yonder with all possible speed. And from month to
-month he developed more and more the questing, peering, wavering manner
-of the lost dog that seeks its master.
-
-Looney was always welcome In the hang-outs of the wandering underworld.
-Not only was he a source of diversion, a convenient butt, but few could
-rustle grub so successfully. His meager frame and his wistfulness, his
-evident feebleness of intellect, drew alms from the solvent population,
-and Looney faithfully brought his takings to the hangouts and was
-dispatched again for more. Servant and butt he was to such lords as the
-Burlington Crip and the English Basher. But he did not mind so long as
-he was not physically maltreated--as he often was. The occasional
-crimes of his associates, the occasional connection of some of them with
-industrial warfare here and there, Looney sometimes participated in; but
-he never understood. If he were told to do so and so, for the most part
-he did it. If he were asked to do too much, or was beaten up for his
-stupidity, and he was always stupid, he quietly slunk away at his first
-opportunity.
-
-The English Basher was a red-faced savage with fists as hard and rough
-as tarred rope; and he conceived the idea that Looney should be his kid,
-and wait upon him, even as he had been Slim's kid. Looney, afraid of the
-man, for a time seemed to acquiesce. But the Basher had reckoned without
-Looney's faculty for blundering.
-
-He dispatched Looney one day, ostensibly to bum a handout, but in
-reality to get the lay of a certain house in a suburb near Cincinnati,
-which the Basher meditated cracking the next convenient night. Looney
-returned with the food but without the information. He had been willing
-enough, for he admired yeggmen and all their ways and works, and was
-withheld by no moral considerations from anything he was asked to do;
-but he had bungled. He had been in the kitchen, he had eaten his own
-scoffin's there, he had talked with the cook for twenty minutes, he had
-even brought up from the cellar a scuttle of coal for the kitchen range
-to save the cook's back, but he actually knew less about that house, its
-plan, its fastenings, its doors and basement windows than the Basher had
-been able to gather with a single stroke of the eye as he loitered down
-the street.
-
-"Cripes! Whadje chin about with the kitchen mechanic all dat time, you?"
-demanded the Basher.
-
-"She was stringin' me along," said Looney humbly, "an' I spilled to her
-about me an' Slim."
-
-"Slim! ------ -------- yer, I've a mind t' croak yer!" cried the Basher.
-
-And he nearly did it, knocking the boy down repeatedly, till finally
-Looney lay still upon the ground.
-
-"'S'elp me," said the Basher, "I've a mind to give yer m' boots! You
-get up an' beat it! An' if I ever gets my lamps onto you again I _will_
-croak you, by Gawd, an' no mistake!"
-
-Looney staggered to his feet and hobbled to a safe distance. And then,
-spitting out a broken tooth, he dared to mutter: "If Slimmy was here,
-he'd see de color o' youse insides, Slimmy would. Slimmy, he knifed a
-yegg oncet wot done less'n dat t'me!"
-
-It was only a week or two after he left the Basher that Looney's faith
-in Slim's star was tested again. Half a dozen of the brotherhood were
-gathered about a fire in a gravel pit in northern Illinois, swapping
-yarns and experiences and making merry. It was a tremendous fire, and
-lighted up the hollow as if it were the entrance to Gehenna, flinging
-the grotesque shadows of the men against the overhanging embankments,
-and causing the inhabitants of a village a mile or so away to wonder
-what farmer's haystack was aflame. The tramps were wasting five times
-the wood they needed, after their fashion. They had eaten to repletion,
-and they were wasting the left-over food from their evening gorge; they
-had booze; they were smoking; they felt, for the hour, at peace with the
-world.
-
-"Wot ever _did_ become of dat Slim?" asked the Burlington Crip, who
-happened to be of the party, looking speculatively at Looney. Even the
-sinister Crip, for the nonce, was not toting with him his usual mordant
-grouch.
-
-Looney was tending the fire, while he listened to tales of the spacious
-days of the great Johnny Yegg himself, and other Titans of the road who
-have now assumed the state of legendary heroes; and he was, as usual,
-saying nothing.
-
-"Slim? Slimmy t' Match wot Looney here's been tailin' after fer so
-long?" said the San Diego Kid. "Slim, he was bumped off in Paterson
-t'ree or four years ago."
-
-"He wasn't neither," spoke up Looney. "Tex, here, seen him in Chi last
-mont'."
-
-And, indeed, Tex had told Looney so. But now, thus directly appealed
-to, Tex answered nothing. And for the first time Looney began to get
-the vague suspicion that these, his friends, might have trifled with him
-before. Certainly they were serious now. He looked around the sprawled
-circle and sensed that their manner was somehow different from the
-attitude with which they had usually discussed his quest for Slim.
-
-"Bumped off?" said Tex. "How?"
-
-"A wobbly done it," said the San Diego Kid. "Slim, he was scabbin'.
-Strike-breakin'. And they was some wobblies there helpin' on the strike.
-See? An' this wobbly bumps Slim off."
-
-"He didn't neither," said Looney again.
-
-"T' hell he didn't? He said he did," said the San Diego Kid pacifically.
-"Is a guy gonna say he's bumped off a guy unless he's bumped him off?"
-
-Looney, somewhat shaken, withdrew from the group to seek comfort from
-the constellations; and particularly from that big, red star, the
-apparent king of stars, which he had come to think of as Slim's star,
-and vaguely, as Slim's mascot. It was brighter and redder than ever
-that night, Looney thought, and sitting on a discarded railroad tie and
-staring at the planet, Looney gradually recovered his faith.
-
-"He ain't neither been bumped off, Slim ain't," he muttered, "an' I'm
-gonna find him yet."
-
-And Slim had not been bumped off, however sincere the San Diego Kid may
-have been in his belief.
-
-It was some months later that Looney did find him in a little city in
-Pennsylvania--or found some one that looked like him.
-
-Looney had dropped from a freight train early in the morning, had
-rustled himself some grub, had eaten two good meals and had part of a
-day's sleep, and now, just as dark was coming on, and the street lamps
-were being lighted, was loafing aimlessly on the platform of the railway
-depot. He purposed to take a train south that night, when it became so
-dark that he could crawl into an empty in the yards without too much
-danger of being seen and he was merely putting in the time until full
-night came on.
-
-While he was standing idly so, an automobile drew up beside the station
-platform and an elegantly dressed and slender man of about thirty got
-out. He assisted from the car a woman and a small child, and they made
-toward the door of the waiting room.
-
-"Slim!" cried Looney, rushing forward.
-
-For this was Slim--it must be Slim--it was Slimmy the Match in every
-feature--and yet, the car!--the clothes--the woman--the baby--the
-prosperity----- _Was_ it Slim?
-
-"Slim!" cried Looney again, his heart leaping in his meager body. "It's
-me, Slim! It's Looney! I've got youse again, Slim! Gawd! I've found
-yuh!"
-
-The woman hastily snatched the child up into her arms, with a suppressed
-scream, and recoiled.
-
-The man made no sound, but he, too, drew back a step, not seeming to see
-Looney's outstretched hand.
-
-But he did see it--he saw more than that. He saw, as if they were
-flashed before him at lightning speed upon a cinema screen, a dozen
-scenes of a wild and reckless and indigent youth that he had thought was
-dead forever; he saw these roughneck years suddenly leap alive and
-stalk toward him again, toward him and his; he saw his later years of
-industry, his hard-won success, his position so strenuously battled for,
-his respectability that was become so dear to him, all his house of
-life so laboriously builded, crumbling before the touch of this torn and
-grotesque outcast that confronted and claimed him, this wavering,
-dusty lunatic whom he dimly remembered. If his wife knew--if her people
-knew--if the business men of this town were to know----
-
-He shuddered and turned sick, and then with a sudden recovery he took
-his child from its mother and guided her before him into the waiting
-room.
-
-Looney watched them enter, in silence. He stood dazed for a moment,
-and then he slowly turned and walked down the railroad track beyond the
-limits of the town. There, upon a spot of turf beside the right of
-way, he threw himself upon his face and sobbed and moaned, as a
-broken-hearted child sobs, as a dog moans upon its master's grave.
-
-But after a while he looked up. Slim's star was looking down at him, red
-and confident and heartening as ever. He gazed at it a long time, and
-then an idea took form in his ruined brain and he said aloud:
-
-"Now, dat wasn't _really_ Slim! I been lookin' fer Slim so long I t'ink
-I see Slim where he ain't! Dat was jus' some guy wot looks like Slimmy.
-Slimmy, he wouldn't never of gone back on an old pal like dat!"
-
-The rumble of an approaching train caught his ears. He got to his feet
-and prepared to board it.
-
-"Slim, he's waitin' fer me somewheres," he told the star. "I may be
-kinda looney about some t'ings, but I knows Slim, an' dey ain't no
-yellow streak nowheres in Slim!"
-
-And with unshaken loyalty Looney the Mutt boarded the train and set off
-upon his endless quest anew.
-
-
-
-
-VI--Kale
-
-|See that old fellow there?" asked Ed the waiter. "Well, his fad is
-money."
-
-The old fellow indicated--he must have been nearly eighty--sat eating
-corned beef and cabbage in a little booth in a certain delightful,
-greasy old chophouse in downtown New York. It was nearly time to close
-the chophouse for that day for it was almost eleven o'clock at night; it
-was nearly time to close the chophouse forever, for it was the middle of
-June, 1919. In a couple of weeks the wartime prohibition act would be in
-force, and Ed and I had been discussing what effect it would have upon
-our respective lives.
-
-There was no one else in the place at the time except the cashier and
-the old man whose fad was money, and so Ed had condescended toward me,
-as a faithful customer, and was sitting down to have a drink with me.
-
-"His fad is money?" I questioned, glancing at the old gentleman, who
-seemed to be nothing extraordinary as regards face or manner or attire.
-He had a long, bony New Englandish head and a short, white, well-trimmed
-beard; he was finishing his nowise delicate food with gusto. "I should
-say," I added, "that his fad was corned beef and cabbage."
-
-"That's one of his fads," admitted Ed the waiter, "and I don't know but
-that it's as strong in him as his money fad. At any rate, I've never
-seen him without one or the other was near him, and both in large
-quantities."
-
-We had been conversing in a mumble, so that our voices should not carry
-to the old gentleman. And now Ed dropped his voice still lower and
-whispered:
-
-"That's Old Man Singleton."
-
-I looked at him with a renewed interest. Every one knew who Old Man
-Singleton was, and many persons liked to guess how much he was worth.
-Ostensibly he had retired, leaving to his two sons the management of the
-Singleton banking business, with its many ramifications; but actually
-he kept his interest in the concern and was reputed to be coaching his
-grandsons in the ways of the world, and especially that part of the
-world known as "The Street."
-
-Starting out as a New England villager who hated poverty because his
-family had always known it, he had come to New York as a lad of twenty,
-with red knitted mittens on his osseous hands, and he had at once
-removed the mittens and put the hands to work gathering money; it was
-rumored that the hands had never turned loose any of the garnered coin;
-it was even said by some persons that he still had the same pair of
-mittens.
-
-The details of his rise I cannot give; he had achieved his ambition
-to be one of the very rich men of America because the ambition was so
-strong within him.
-
-"Of course his fad is money," I muttered to Ed the waiter. "Everybody
-knows that Old Man Singleton's fad is money."
-
-Ed was about to reply, when Mr. Singleton looked up and motioned for his
-check. Ed brought it, and gave the old gentleman his hat and his stick
-and his change.
-
-"I hope everything was all right," Mr. Singleton said Ed, palpably
-bidding for recognition and a tip.
-
-"Eh? said Singleton, looking blankly at Ed You know me, hey? I don't
-recall you. Yes, everything was all right, thank you." He gave the
-waiter a dime and passed out, after another blank, fumbling look at Ed,
-and a shake of his head. There was something feeble and wandering in the
-old fellow's manner; his memory was going; it was obvious that before
-long the rest of him would follow his memory. He shouldn't be allowed to
-go around this way alone at night," murmured Ed, watching the door
-through which he had made his exit. "But I suppose he's as bull-headed
-as ever about doing what he pleases, even if his legs are shaky."
-
-"He didn't know you," I hinted, for I wished to learn all that Ed knew
-about Old Man Singleton.
-
-Ed is a person who has been in the world nearly fifty years; he has had
-some very unusual acquaintances and experiences. It is never safe to
-predict just what Ed will know and what he will not know. One afternoon,
-after I had known Ed for about a year, I was attempting to argue some
-scientific point with a friend who was lunching with me, and Ed, who was
-waiting on us and listening, remarked: "I beg your pardon, sir, but it
-wasn't in _The Descent of Man_ that Darwin said that; it was in _The
-Origin of Species_."
-
-And yet, if you deduce from that remark that Ed knows a great deal about
-modern science, you will be mistaken; as likely as not he could quote
-pages of Marcus Aurelius to you, and at the same time he might pronounce
-"Euripides" as if the last two syllables were one, riming with "hides";
-his reading, like his life, has been elective.
-
-"He doesn't recall you," I repeated.
-
-"And that's ingratitude," said Ed, "if he only knew it. I saved the old
-man's life once."
-
-And Ed limped over to the table and resumed his seat opposite me. He
-has a bullet under one kneecap, and at times it makes him very lame. He
-would never tell me how it came there; to this day I do not know.
-
-"From what did you save his life?" I asked. "From a man," said Ed
-moodily. "From a man who had a notion to bean him one night. And to this
-day I ask myself: 'Did I do right, or did I do wrong?'"
-
-"Tell me about it," I insisted,
-
-"Drink up," said Ed, manipulating the Scotch bottle and the siphon of
-seltzer. "This is one of the last highballs you'll ever have, unless
-you sneak around and take it on the sly. I don't know that I should have
-another one myself; it settles in this damned knee of mine if I get a
-little too much."
-
-"Tell me when, where and how you knew Old Man Singleton," I demanded
-again.
-
-"This knee of mine," went on Ed, disregarding me, "is a hell of a
-handicap. We were talking about prohibition--what's prohibition going to
-do to me? Hey? It puts me out of a job in a barroom like this the first
-thing. And what else can I do? With this game leg, you can see me going
-on the stage as a Russian dancer, can't you? Or digging trenches to lay
-gas pipes in, or carrying a Hod? Huh? And I can't even get a job in a
-swell restaurant uptown; they don't want any gamelegged waiters sticking
-around, falling over the chairs. This was about the only kind of a joint
-and the only kind of a job I was fit for, this chop-house thing down
-here, and it's going to close in two weeks. What then? Be somebody's
-housemaid? I can't see it. I don't wish anybody any bad luck, but I
-hope the guy that put over this prohibition thing gets stiff in all his
-joints and lives forever."
-
-I sympathized and waited, and finally he began. "Old Man Singleton's
-fad," said Ed, "as I re marked before, is money. And as you remarked,
-another of his fads is corned beef and cabbage--especially cabbage. He
-will eat corned beef with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat pork
-with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat cabbage without either; it
-is the cabbage he likes--or kale. In fact, you could reduce his two fads
-to one, and say what he likes is kale--kale in the slang sense of money,
-and kale that is cabbage. And all his life he has been stuffing himself
-with kale.
-
-"His fad is kale that he can see and feel and handle and show and carry
-about with him. Not merely money in the bank and stocks and bonds and
-property and real estate, but actual cash. He likes to carry it with
-him, and he does carry it with him. I guess he likes the feel of it in
-his billfolder, and the thought that he has got it on him--on him, the
-poor boy that came out of New England with the red knitted mittens on
-that everybody has heard so much about. I can understand the way
-he feels about it; with a folder full of thousand-dollar and
-ten-thousand-dollar bills he feels safe, somehow; feels like he'll never
-have to go back to that little New England town and saw cordwood and
-shovel snow again.
-
-"He's got it on him now, that folder, and I'll bet you on it. That's
-what I meant when I said it wasn't safe for him to be trotting about
-this way after night. For if I know it, it stands to reason others know
-it, too.
-
-"What you want to know is, how I know it. Well, I was not always what I
-am now. Once I was quite a bird and wore dress suits and went to the
-Metropolitan Opera and listened to Caruso as he jumped his voice from
-peak to peak. Yes, sir, I know every darned acoustic in that place! They
-weren't my dress suits that I wore, but they fit me. Once I moved in the
-circles of the idle rich, though they didn't know it, and helped 'em
-spend the unearned increment they wrung from the toil of the downtrodden
-laboring man.
-
-"Once, to come down to brass tacks, I was a butler's companion. It is
-an office you won't find listed in the social directory, but it existed,
-for me at least. The butler in the case was a good friend of mine by the
-name of Larry Hodgkins, and being part Irish, he was an ideal English
-butler. Larry and his mother were in the employ of the Hergsheimers, a
-wealthy Jewish family--you know who they are if you read the financial
-pages or the Sunday supplements. Mrs. Hodgkins was the housekeeper and
-Larry was the butler, and when the Hergsheimers were traveling Larry and
-his mother stayed in the New York house as caretakers and kept things
-shipshape. And let me give you a tip, by the way: if you ever take a
-notion to quit the writing game and go into domestic service, plant
-yourself with a rich Hebrew family. They want things done right,
-but they are the most liberal people on earth, especially to Gentile
-servants.
-
-"This Hergsheimer was Jacob Hergsheimer, and he was in right socially in
-New York, as well as financially; he had put himself across into the
-big time socially because, if you ask me, he belonged there; all the
-Hergsheimers didn't get across, but this one did. His New York house is
-uptown, between the sixties and the eighties, east of the Park, and
-he wants it kept so he can drop into it with his family and a flock of
-servants at any hour of the day or night, from any part of the earth,
-without a minute's notice, and give a dinner party at once, if he feels
-like it, and he frequently feels like it.
-
-"It was Mrs. Hodgkins's and Larry's job to keep the fire from going
-out in the boilers, so to speak, and a head of steam on, so that the
-domestic ship could sail in any direction on receipt of orders by wire,
-wireless or telephone. They were permanent there, but Jake Hergsheimer
-and his family, as far as I could make out, never got more than an
-average of about three months' use a year out of that mansion.
-
-"This time I am speaking of was nearly ten years ago. I was a waiter in
-an uptown restaurant, and both my legs were good then; Larry and I
-were old pals. The Jake Hergsheimers were sailing around the world in a
-yacht, and would be at it for about a year, as far as Larry knew, and
-he asked me up to live with him. I accepted; and believe me, the eight
-months I put in as Jake Hergsheimer's guest were _some_ eight months.
-Not that Jake knew about it; but if he had known it, he wouldn't have
-cared. This Jake was a real human being.
-
-"And his clothes fit me; just as if I had been measured for them. He had
-what you might call an automatic tailor, Jake did. Every six weeks, rain
-or shine, that tailor delivered a new suit of clothes to the Hergsheimer
-house, and he sent in his bill once a year, so Larry the butler told me.
-Some people go away and forget to stop the milk; and when Jake sailed
-for the other side of the world he forgot to tell anybody to stop the
-tailor. Larry didn't feel as if it were any part of his duty to stop
-him; for Larry liked that tailor. He made Larry's clothes, too.
-
-"And I didn't see where it was up to me to protest. As I said, Jake's
-garments might have been made for me. In fact, a great many of them
-_were_ made for me. There were at least fifteen suits of clothes that
-had never been worn in that house, made to my measure and Jake's, when
-I became butler's companion in the establishment, and they kept right
-on coming. Also, there was a standing order for orchestra seats at the
-Metropolitan. Jake had a box every second Thursday, or something like
-that, but when he really wanted to hear the music and see the show he
-usually sat in the orchestra. Not only did his business suits fit me,
-but his dress clothes fit me, too.
-
-"I used to go often, with a lady's maid that had the same access to
-clothing as I did. She was part of a caretaking staff also. Being a
-writing person, you have, of course, only viewed New York's society and
-near-society from the outside, and no doubt you have been intimidated by
-the haughty manners of the servants. Well, when you get close to swells
-and really know them personally, you will find they are human, too.
-
-"A butler on duty is a swelled-up proposition, because he has to be that
-way. But take him as you find him among his peers, and he quits acting
-like the Duke of Westminster Abbey, and is real sociable. This Larry
-person, for instance, could distend himself like a poisoned pup and
-make a timid millionaire feel like the sleeves of his undershirt must be
-showing below his cuffs; but in our little select circle Larry was the
-life of the party.
-
-"Being, as I said before, an outsider, you likely don't realize how
-many of those big swell millionaires' cribs uptown are in the hands of
-caretakers like Larry and his mother and me the best part of the year.
-Well, they are; and there's a social life goes on in them that don't
-ever get into the papers. The parties we had that year in Jake's house
-would have done Jake himself good, if Jake could have got an invitation
-to them. But Jake was absent, though his cellar and his grocers were
-at our service; and he never questioned a bill, Larry said. There were
-twelve or fifteen hand-picked servants in our little social circle that
-year, and before I left there I could begin to understand how these
-dbutantes feel at the end of the season--sort of tired and bored and
-willing to relax and go in for work and rest and athletics for a change.
-
-"I had only been butler's companion for a few weeks when Old Man
-Singleton dropped in one evening--yes, sir, Old Lemuel Singleton
-himself. He came to see the butler's mother, Mrs. Hodgkins. He had known
-her a good many years before, when he was wearing those red mittens and
-sawing wood up in that New England town and she was somebody's Irish
-cook. And he had run across her again, after he became a millionaire,
-down here in New York City. He was tickled to see her, and he didn't
-care a darn if she was Jake Hergsheimer's housekeeper. She could cook
-cabbage and kale better than any one else in the world, and he used to
-come and sit with her, and talk about that little old town up there, and
-indulge in his favorite dissipation.
-
-"Old Man Singleton has had what you call the social entre in New York
-for a good many years; for so long that some of his children, and
-all his grandchildren, were born with it. But he never took it very
-seriously himself. He has been an in-and-outer, you might say. If he saw
-Mrs. Hodgkins around Jake's house, he would call her Mary and ask her
-how folks were up home in front of Jake and his wife and a whole bunch
-of guests, just as soon as not.
-
-"And his sons and his daughters and his grandchildren never could get
-him out of those ways; he always was bull-headed about doing what he
-pleased, so Mrs. Hodgkins told me, and he always will be. And the old
-lady liked to see him and chin with him and cook for him; and believe
-me, she was some cook when she set herself to it. Not merely kale, but
-everything. She didn't cook for the Hergsheimers--they had a chef for
-that--but they missed it by not having her. Victuals was old Mary's
-middle name, and she could rustle up some of the best grub you ever
-threw your lip over.
-
-"At first, Old Man Singleton and Mrs. Hodgkins didn't mix much with
-us younger folks when we pulled a party. It wasn't that we were too
-aristocratic for them, for off duty, as I said before, butlers and other
-swells can be as easy and jolly as common people. But they seemed too
-antiquated, if you get me; they were living too much in the past.
-
-"And then, one night, I discovered what Old Man Singleton's fad
-was--kale. Money. Big money. Big money on his person. It was this way:
-Larry and I wanted to go downtown and have a little fun, but neither
-of us had any cash in hand. Larry had a check for one hundred and fifty
-dollars which Jake Hergsheimer had sent him, but all the tradesmen we
-knew were closed at that hour, and there wasn't any way to cash it,
-unless Old Man Singleton could.
-
-"'Mr. Singleton,' says Larry to the old man, who was sitting down to a
-mess of pork and kale with Mrs. Hodgkins, 'maybe you can cash this for
-me.' And he handed him the check.
-
-"The old man stopped eating and put his glasses on and pulled a
-billfolder out of his pocket, with a kind of pleased smile on his face.
-
-"'Let me see,' he says, taking out the bills, and running them over with
-his fingers; 'let me see.'
-
-"I nearly dropped dead. There wasn't a bill in there of lower
-denomination than one thousand dollars; and most of them were
-ten-thousand-dol-lar bills.
-
-"'No, Larry,' says the old man, 'I'm afraid I can't, afraid I
-can't--haven't got the change.'
-
-"And while we stood there and looked, he smoothed and patted those
-bills, and folded and refolded them, and then put them back into his
-pocket, and patted the pocket.
-
-"'Mary,' he says to the old woman with a grin, 'that's quite a lot of
-money for little Lem Singleton to be carrying around in his pocket,
-isn't it?' "'It is that, Lemuel,' said the old lady, 'and I should think
-you'd be afraid of leaving it out of the bank.'
-
-"'Well, Mary,' says the old man, 'I kind o' like to have it around me
-all the time--uh--huh! a little bit where I can put my hands on it, all
-the time. I used to carry gold; but I gave that up; it's too heavy, for
-what it's worth. But I like it, Mary; I used to look at that gold and
-say to myself, "Well, there's one thing you got, Lem Singleton, they
-never thought you'd get when you left home! And they aren't going to
-take it away from you, either!" It was a long time before I could make
-paper seem as real to me as gold. But it does now.'
-
-"And what does the old bird do but take it out of his pocket again and
-crinkle it through his fingers and smooth it out again and pet it and do
-everything but kiss it. Larry and I stood looking at him with our eyes
-sticking out, and he looked at us and laughed. It came to me all of a
-sudden that he liked to come where we servants were because he could
-pull that kind of thing in front of us, but that he was sort of lost
-among the swell-society bunch because he didn't dare pull it there and
-didn't feel so rich among them.
-
-"'My God, Larry,' I said, when we were outside the house, 'did you
-notice how much kale the old man had there?'
-
-"'Uh-huh,' said Larry. 'Mother always cooks a lot for him.'
-
-"'Wake up, Stupid,' I said. 'I don't mean cabbage. I mean money. There
-must have been nearly two hundred thousand dollars in that roll!'
-
-"'He always has around one hundred thousand dollars on him, at least,'
-says Larry. 'And I've seen him flash as high as a quarter of a million.'
-
-"'Well,' I says, 'something ought to be done about it.'
-
-"'What do you mean, Ed?' says he.
-
-"'Oh, nothing,' I said.
-
-"We walked over to get the L train downtown, saying nothing, and then
-finally Larry remarked: "'Electricity is a great thing, Ed.'
-
-"'I never said it wasn't,' says I.
-
-"'It's a great thing,' says Larry, 'but when you sit on it, sit on
-it right. For instance, I'd a darned sight rather sit in one of these
-electric trains than in that electric chair up at Sing Sing.'
-
-"'Who said anything about an electric chair?' I asked him.
-
-"'Nobody said anything,' says Larry, 'but you're thinking so darned loud
-I can get you.'
-
-"'Piffle, peanuts and petrification,' I said. 'Take care of your own
-thoughts, and I'll skim the fat off of mine myself.'
-
-"Well, as I said, after that we got better acquainted, the old man and
-I. I paid more attention to him. He interested me more. I've always
-been interested in science of all kinds, and the year I spent in Jake
-Hergsheimer's house I cut the leaves of a lot of books in his library
-and gave them the once over. I was always interested in psychology, even
-before the word got to be a headliner in the Sunday supplements, and I
-took a good deal of pleasure that winter trying to get inside of Old
-Man Singleton's mind. I must say, I never got very far in, at that. My
-general conclusion at the end is what it was at the beginning--his fad
-is kale.
-
-"And he loved to show it, you could see that. Not that he pulled it
-every time he happened to be at one of our parties. Often he would drop
-in that winter from some swell social event at one of the big houses
-uptown, where he had been a guest, and eat some of old Mary's chow, and
-never intimate by word or look that he had all that kale on him. And
-then again he'd come among us, diked out in the soup and fish, and flash
-the roll, for no other reason that I know except he enjoyed seeing us
-get the blind staggers, which we always did. And then he'd fuss with it
-and pet it and go into a dream over it, and wake up again and grin and
-talk about life with old Mary. And they agreed about life; you never
-heard two more moral persons exchange views. It was sometimes as good as
-a Sunday-school to listen to them for half an hour.
-
-"One night, when they had been gassing for a while, they sort of got my
-goat, and I said to him:
-
-"'Mr. Singleton, does it ever strike you as a little peculiar that you
-should have so much money and so many other people, such as myself, none
-at all?'
-
-"'No, Ed,' he says. 'No, it doesn't. That's the Lord's way, Ed! Money is
-given as a sacred trust by the Lord to them that are best fitted to have
-and to hold.'
-
-"'Meaning,' I asked him, 'that if you were ever to let loose of any of
-it, it might work harm in the world?'
-
-"He chewed over that for quite a while, as if he saw something personal
-in it, and he gave me a ten-dollar bill for a Christmas present. He
-isn't as stingy as some people say he is; he just looks so stingy that
-if he was the most liberal man on earth he would get the reputation of
-being stingy.
-
-"The lady's maid that I used to go to the opera with quit me a little
-while after Christmas. She and I were walking around the promenade
-between the acts one night at the Metropolitan and Larry was with
-us, when a fellow stopped Larry and spoke to him. I could see the guy
-looking at the girl and me as he and Larry talked. Later, Larry told me
-that it was one of Jake Hergsheimer's friends, and he had been a little
-bit surprised to see Larry at the opera all diked out, and he had wanted
-to know who the girl was.
-
-"Well, anyhow, she never went to the opera with me after that; but a few
-weeks later I saw her at a cabaret with Jake's friend. It was a grief to
-me; but I got into some real trouble, or let it get into me, about
-the same time, and that helped take the sting off. I had once been
-married--but there's no use going into all that. Anyhow, when the
-marriage kind o' wore off, my own folks took my wife's side of the case
-and she went to live with them. My old dad was sick, and they needed
-money, and my wife wrote to me that she was willing to let bygones be
-bygones and accept some money from me, and that my parents felt the same
-way, and there was a kid, too, that my folks were bringing up.
-
-"Well, I was desperate for some way to get hold of some cash and send
-to them. In the end, I took one of Jake Hergsheimer's silver vases and
-hocked it and sent the money, and got it out of hock two or three months
-later; but in the meantime there was a spell when I was so hard pressed
-it looked to me like I would actually have to do something dishonest to
-get that money.
-
-"One night, before Jake Hergsheimer came to my rescue and lent me that
-silver vase, if you want to call it that, I was sitting alone in the
-house thinking what a failure in life I was, and how rotten it was to
-have a wife and kid and parents all set against me, and drinking some of
-Jake's good booze, and getting more and more low in my mind, when there
-came a ring at the front doorbell. The butler was out, and old Mary was
-asleep way up in the top of the house, at the back, and wouldn't hear.
-
-"'I'll bet,' I said to myself, 'that's Old Man Singleton nosing around
-for his cabbage.' And I made up my mind I wouldn't let him in--he could
-ring till he froze to death on the front steps, and I wouldn't. It was
-a blustery, snowy January night, with new snow over the old ice
-underneath, and I says to myself, 'It's a wonder the old coot don't slip
-down and bust some of those big New England bones of his. And I wouldn't
-care much if he did.'
-
-"But he kept on ringing, and finally I thought I'd better go and let him
-in. I didn't have any ulterior notions when I went up the stairs from
-the servants' dining room and made for the front door. But the minute I
-clapped eyes on him I thought of all that kale in his pocket.
-
-"I opened the front door, but outside of that was an iron grille. It had
-a number of fastenings, but the final one was a short, heavy iron bar
-that lay in two sockets, one on each side of the opening.
-
-"I lifted the bar and swung the grille open.
-
-"'Ha! Hum!' said he, and sneezed. 'It's you, Ed, is it?'
-
-"And, snuffing and sneezing, he passed in front of me.
-
-"And as he passed by me that bar said something to my hand. And the hand
-raised up. It wasn't any of my doings, it was all the hand and the bar.
-It raised up, that bar did, right behind the old man's head. He stopped
-just outside the front door and flapped his big bony feet on a rug
-that was there, to get the snow off his shoes, and while he flapped and
-sneezed that bar was right over the old man's brain-box.
-
-"'Well,' I said to myself, 'here is your chance to be an honest man and
-a prosperous man, reunited with your wife and your kid and your folks
-at home, and not have to borrow anything from Jake Hergsheimer's
-collection--just one little tap on the old man's head, and down he goes,
-and he's got anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred and fifty
-thousand dollars in his clothes.'
-
-"'Yes,' said myself to me, 'one little tap, and maybe you kill him. What
-then? The electric chair, huh?'
-
-"'Hell!' I said to myself. 'Take a chance! The old man has so much money
-that what he has in his pocket means nothing to him one way or another.
-Larry's gone till morning, and the old woman won't wake for a long time.
-It means a little bit of a headache for Old Lemuel here, and it means
-your chance to lead an honest life hereafter and be a useful citizen and
-take care of those you have been neglecting.'
-
-"'Yes,' said myself to me, 'it's more moral to do it, and make your life
-over, but you never have been one for morality in the past. Besides,
-you'd kill him.'
-
-"And I might have killed him, boss. I wasn't sure of it then, but I've
-been sure of it since then. I was that strung up that I would have hit
-too hard.
-
-"And yet, I might _not_ have done so! I might have hit him just enough
-to put him out and make my get-away, and I might have led an honest life
-since then.
-
-"But at the moment I couldn't do it. I saw, all of a sudden, something
-funny. I saw the old man stamping his feet and getting the snow off, and
-I thought of him as a dead man, and I says to myself: 'How damned funny
-for a dead man to stamp the snow off his feet!' And I laughed.
-
-"'Heh? Heh? What did you say, Ed?' says the old man, and turns around.
-
-"I dropped the iron bar to my side, and that dead man came up out of the
-grave.
-
-"'Nothing, Mr. Singleton,' I said. 'I was just going to say, go on in,
-and I'll get a brush and clean the snow off of you.'
-
-"I said I saved his life from a man one time. Well, I was the man I
-saved his life from.
-
-"He went on in, and I barred the grille and locked the door, and we went
-on down to the dining room. I was shaking, and still I wasn't easy in my
-mind. I told him there wasn't anybody home but me, and he said he'd take
-a drop of Jake's brandy. And while I was opening a bottle of it for him,
-what does he do but pull out that billfolder.
-
-"'For God's sake, Mr. Singleton,' I said, turning weak and sitting down
-in a chair all of a sudden, 'put that money up.'
-
-"He sat there and sipped his brandy and talked, but I didn't hear what
-he was saying. I just looked at him, and kept saying to myself, should I
-have done it? Or should I have let him go by?
-
-"Boss, that was nearly ten years ago, and I've been asking myself that
-question from time to time ever since. Should I have done it? Was it
-moral to refuse that chance to make my life over again? You know me,
-kid. You know some of me, at least. You know I don't hold much by
-morals. If I was to tell you how I got that bullet under my kneecap,
-you'd know me better than _you_ do. If I had hit him just right and made
-my get-away, I would have led a different life.
-
-"And I wouldn't now be 'waiting for my death sentence. For that's
-practically what this prohibition thing means to me. I can't work at
-anything but this. And this is through with. And I'm through with. I'm a
-bum from now on. There's no use kidding myself; I'm a bum.
-
-"And yet, often, I'm glad I didn't do it."
-
-Ed brooded in silence for a while.
-
-And then I said, "It's strange he didn't know you."
-
-"It's been ten years," said Ed, "and you saw that the old man's got
-to the doddering stage. He likely wouldn't know his own children if he
-didn't see them every day or two."
-
-"I suppose," I said, "that the old man feels he is ending his days in a
-very satisfactory manner--the national prohibition thing triumphant, and
-all that."
-
-"How do you mean?" asked Ed.
-
-"Don't you know?" I said. "Why, Old Man Singleton, it is said, helped
-to finance the fight, and used his money and his influence on other big
-money all over the country in getting next to doubtful politicians and
-putting the thing through the state legislatures. I don't mean there
-was anything crooked about it anywhere, but he was one of the bunch that
-represented organized power, and put the stunt across while the liquor
-interests were still saying national prohibition could never come."
-
-"The hell he did!" said Ed. "I didn't know he was mixed up with it. I
-never saw him take a drink, now that I remember, except the brandy on
-the night I saved his life."
-
-"Old Man Singleton," I said, "is credited with having had more to do
-with it than any other one person, by those who are on the inside."
-
-"The old coot!" said Ed. And then added wryly: "I hope he gets as stiff
-in his knee joint as I am and lives forever! He's made a bum of me!"
-
-It was three or four weeks after my talk with Ed that I read in the
-papers of a peculiar accident of which Old Man Singleton had been the
-victim. A head of cabbage, he said, had fallen out of a tree and hit him
-on his own head one evening as he was walking alone in Central Park. He
-had been dazed by the blow for a moment; and when he regained his feet
-a considerable sum of money which he had been carrying was gone. He was
-sure that he had been struck by a head of cabbage, for a head of cabbage
-lay on the pathway near him when he was helped to his feet. He did not
-pretend to be able to say how a head of cabbage could have gotten into
-one of the park trees.
-
-The police discredited his story, pointing out that likely the old
-man, who was near-sighted, had blundered against a tree in the dusk and
-struck his head. The head of cabbage, they told the reporters, could
-have had nothing to do with it; it could not have come into contact with
-his head at all, unless, indeed, some one had put it into a sack and
-swung it on him like a bludgeon; and this, the police said, was too
-absurd to be considered. For why should a crook use a head of cabbage,
-when the same results might have been attained with the more usual
-blackjack, stick or fist?
-
-Old Man Singleton was not badly hurt; and as regarded the loss of the
-money, he never said, nor did his family ever say, just how large the
-sum was. Mr. Singleton had the vague impression that after the cabbage
-fell out of the tree and hit him he had been helped to his feet by a man
-who limped and who said to him: "Kale is given to them that can best use
-it, to have and to hold."
-
-He did not accuse this person, who disappeared before he was thoroughly
-himself again, of having found the money which had evidently dropped
-from his pocket when the cabbage fell from the tree and hit him, but
-he was suspicious, and he thought the police were taking the matter too
-lightly; he criticized the police in an interview given to the papers.
-The police pointed out the irrelevance of the alleged words of the
-alleged person who limped, and intimated that Mr. Singleton was
-irrational and should be kept at home evenings; as far as they were
-concerned, the incident was closed.
-
-But I got another slant at it, as Ed might have said. Last winter I was
-talking at my club with a friend just back from Cuba, where the rum is
-red and joy is unconfined.
-
-"I met a friend of yours," he said, "by the name of Ed down there, who
-is running a barroom and seems to be quite a sport in his way. Sent his
-regards to you. Must have made it pay--seems to have all kinds of money.
-Named his barroom 'The Second Thought.' Asked him why. He said nobody
-knew but himself, and he was keeping it a secret--though you might
-guess. Wants you to come down. Sent you a message. Let's see: what was
-it? Oh, yes! Cryptic! Very cryptic! Wrote it down--here it is: '_Kale!
-Kale! The gang's all here_.' Make anything out of it? I can't."
-
-I could, though I didn't tell him what. But I shall not visit Ed in
-Cuba; I consider him an immoral person.
-
-
-
-
-VII--Bubbles
-
-
-I
-
-|Tommy Hawkins was not so sober that you could tell it on him. Certainly
-his friend Jack Dobson, calling on him one dreary winter evening--an
-evening of that winter before John Barleycorn cried maudlin tears into
-his glass and kissed America good-by--would never have guessed it from
-Tommy's occupation. Presenting himself at Tommy's door and finding it
-unlocked, Jack had gone on in. A languid splashing guided him to the
-bathroom. In the tub sat Tommy with the water up to his shoulders,
-blowing soap bubbles.
-
-"You darned old fool!" said Jack. "Aren't you ever going to grow up,
-Tommy?"
-
-"Nope," said Tommy placidly. "What for?" Sitting on a chair close by
-the bathtub was a shallow silver dish with a cake of soap and some
-reddish-colored suds in it. Tommy had bought the dish to give some one
-for a wedding present, and then had forgotten to send it.
-
-"What makes the suds red?" asked Jack.
-
-"I poured a lot of that nose-and-throat spray stuff into it," explained
-Tommy. "It makes them prettier. Look!"
-
-As a pipe he was using a piece of hollow brass curtain rod six or eight
-inches long and of about the diameter of a fat lead pencil. He soused
-this thing in the reddish suds and manufactured a bubble with elaborate
-care. With a graceful gesture of his wet arm he gently waved the rod
-until the bubble detached itself. It floated in the air for a moment,
-and the thin, reddish integument caught the light from the electric
-globe and gave forth a brief answering flash as of fire. Then the bubble
-suddenly and whimsically dashed itself against the wall and was no more,
-leaving a faint, damp, reddish trace upon the white plaster.
-
-"Air current caught it," elucidated Tommy with the air of a circus
-proprietor showing off pet elephants. In his most facetious moments
-Tommy was wont to hide his childish soul beneath an exterior of serious
-dignity. "This old dump is full of air currents. They come in round
-the windows, come in round the doors, come right in through the
-walls. Damned annoying, too, for a scientist making experiments with
-bubbles--starts a bubble and never knows which way it's going to jump.
-I'm gonna complain to the management of this hotel."
-
-"You're going to come out of that bathtub and get into your duds," said
-Jack. "That water's getting cool now, and between cold water and air
-currents you'll have pneumonia the first thing you know--you poor silly
-fish, you."
-
-"Speaking of fish," said Tommy elliptically, "there's a bottle of
-cocktails on the mantel in the room there. Forgot it for a moment. Don't
-want to be inhospitable, but don't drink all of it."
-
-"It's all gone," said Dobson a moment later.
-
-"So?" said Tommy in surprise. "That's the way with cocktails. Here
-one minute and gone the next--like bubbles. Bubbles! Life's like that,
-Jack!" He made another bubble with great solemnity, watched it float and
-dart and burst. "Pouf!" he said. "Bubbles! Bubbles! Life's like that!"
-
-"You're an original philosopher, you are," said Jack, seizing him by the
-shoulders. "You're about as original as a valentine. Douse yourself
-with cold water and rub yourself down and dress. Come out of it, kid, or
-you'll be sick."
-
-"If I get sick," said Tommy, obeying, nevertheless, "I won't have to go
-to work to-morrow."
-
-"Why aren't you working to-day?" asked his friend, working on him with a
-coarse towel.
-
-"Day off," said Tommy.
-
-"Day off!" rejoined Dobson. "Since when has the _Morning Despatch_
-been giving two days off a week to its reporters? You had your day off
-Tuesday, and this is Thursday."
-
-"Is it?" said Tommy. "I always get Tuesday and Thursday mixed. Both
-begin with a T. Hey, Jack, how's that? Both begin with a T! End with a
-tea party! Good line, hey, Jack? Tuesday and Thursday both begin with
-a T and end with a tea party. I'm gonna write a play round that, Jack.
-Broadway success! Letters a foot high! Royalties for both of us! I won't
-forget you, Jack! You suggested the idea for the plot, Jack. Drag you
-out in front of the curtain with me when I make my speech. 'Author!
-Author!' yells the crowd. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'here is the
-obscure and humble person who set in motion the train of thought that
-led to my writing this masterpiece. Such as he is, I introduce him to
-you.'"
-
-"Shut up!" said Jack, and continued to lacerate Tommy's hide with the
-rough towel. "Hold still! Now go and get into your clothes." And as
-Tommy began to dress he regarded that person darkly. "You're a brilliant
-wag, you are! It's a shame the way the copy readers down on the
-_Despatch_ keep your best things out of print, you splattering
-supermudhen of journalism, you! You'll wake up some morning without any
-more job than a kaiser." And as Tommy threaded himself into the mystic
-maze of his garments Mr. Dobson continued to look at him and mutter
-disgustedly, "Bubbles!"
-
-Not that he was afraid that Tommy would actually lose his job. If it had
-been possible for Tommy to lose his job that must have happened years
-before. But Tommy wrote a certain joyous type of story better than any
-other person in New York, and his facetiousness got him out of as many
-scrapes as it got him into. He was thirty years old. At ninety he would
-still be experimenting with the visible world in a spirit of random
-eagerness, joshing everything in it, including himself. He looked
-exactly like the young gentleman pictured in a widely disseminated
-collar advertisement. He enjoyed looking that way, and occasionally he
-enjoyed talking as if he were exactly that kind of person. He loved to
-turn his ironic levity against the character he seemed to be, much as
-the mad wags who grace the column of F. P. A. delight in getting their
-sayings across accompanied by a gentle satirical fillip at all mad
-waggery.
-
-"Speaking of bubbles," he suddenly chuckled as he carefully adjusted his
-tie in the collar that looked exactly like the one in the advertisement,
-"there's an old party in the next room that takes 'em more seriously
-than you do, Jack."
-
-The old downtown hotel in which Tommy lived had once been a known and
-noted hostelry, and persons from Plumville, Pennsylvania, Griffin,
-Georgia, and Galva, Illinois, still stopped there when in New York,
-because their fathers and mothers had stopped there on their wedding
-journeys perhaps. It was not such a very long way from the Eden Musee,
-when there was an Eden Musee. Tommy's room had once formed part of a
-suite. The bathroom which adjoined it had belonged jointly to another
-room in the suite. But now these two rooms were always let separately.
-Still, however, the bathroom was a joint affair. When Tommy wished to
-bathe he must first insure privacy by hooking on the inside the door
-that led into the bathroom from the chamber beyond.
-
-"Old party in the next room?" questioned Jack.
-
-"Uh-huh," said Tommy, who had benefited by his cold sluicing and his
-rubdown. "I gave him a few bubbles for his very own--through the keyhole
-into his room, you know. Poked that brass rod through and blew the
-bubble in his room. Detached it with a little jerk and let it float.
-Seemed more sociable, you know, to let him in on the fun. Never be
-stingy with your pleasures, Jack. Shows a mean spirit--a mean soul. Why
-not cheer the old party up with soap bubbles? Cost little, bubbles
-do. More than likely he's a stranger in New York. Unfriendly city, he
-thinks. Big city. Nobody thinks of him. Nobody cares for him. Away from
-home. Winter day. Melancholy. Well, I say, give him a bubble now and
-then. Shows some one is thinking of him. Shows the world isn't so
-thoughtless and gloomy after all. Neighborly sort of thing to do, Jack.
-Makes him think of his youth--home--mother's knee--all that kind of
-thing, Jack. Cheers him up. Sat in the tub there and got to thinking
-of him. Almost cried, Jack, when I thought how lonely the old man must
-be--got one of these old man's voices. Whiskers. Whiskers deduced from
-the voice. So I climbed out of the tub every ten or fifteen minutes all
-afternoon and gave the old man a bubble. Rain outside--fog, sleet. Dark
-indoors. Old man sits and thinks nobody loves him. Along comes a bubble.
-Old man gets happy. Laughs. Remembers his infancy. Skies clear. You
-think I'm a selfish person, Jack? I'm not. I'm a Samaritan. Where will
-we eat?"
-
-"You are a darned fool," said Jack. "You say he took them seriously?
-What do you mean? Did he like 'em?"
-
-"Couldn't quite make out," said Tommy. "But they moved him. Gasped every
-now and then. Think he prayed. Emotion, Jack. Probably made him think
-of boyhood's happy days down on the farm. Heard him talking to himself.
-Think he cried. Went to bed anyhow with his clothes on and pulled the
-covers over his head. Looked through the keyhole and saw that. Gray
-whiskers sticking up, and that's all. Deduced the whiskers from the
-voice, Jack. Let's give the old party a couple more bubbles and then go
-eat. It's been an hour since he's had one. Thinks I'm forgetting him, no
-doubt."
-
-So they gave the old man a couple of bubbles, poking the brass rod
-through the keyhole of the door.
-
-The result was startling and unexpected. First there came a gasp from
-the other room, a sort of whistling release of the breath, and an
-instant later a high, whining, nasal voice.
-
-"Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God! You meant it!"
-
-The two young men started back and looked at each other in wonderment.
-There was such a quivering agony, such an utter groveling terror in this
-voice from the room beyond that they were daunted.
-
-"What's eating him?" asked Dobson, instinctively dropping his tones to a
-whisper.
-
-"I don't know," said Tommy, temporarily subdued. "Sounds like that last
-one shell-shocked him when it exploded, doesn't it?"
-
-But Tommy was subdued only for a moment.
-
-As they went out into the corridor he giggled and remarked, "Told you he
-took 'em seriously, Jack."
-
-
-
-II
-
-"Seriously" was a word scarcely strong enough for the way in which the
-old party in the room beyond had taken it, though he had not, in fact,
-seen the bubble. He had only seen a puff of smoke coming apparently from
-nowhere, originating in the air itself, as it seemed to him, manifesting
-itself, materializing itself out of nothing, and floating in front of
-the one eye which was peeping fearfully out of the huddled bedclothing
-which he had drawn over himself. He had lain quaking on the bed, waiting
-for this puff of smoke for an hour or more, hoping against hope that it
-would not come, praying and muttering, knotting his bony hands in the
-whiskers that Tommy had seen sticking up from the coverings, twisting
-convulsively.
-
-Tommy had whimsically filled the bubble, as he blew it, with smoke
-from his cigarette. He had in like manner, throughout the afternoon and
-early-evening, filled all the bubbles that he had given the old man
-with cigarette or pipe smoke. The old party had not been bowled over
-by anything in Tommy's tobacco. He had not noticed that the smoke was
-tobacco smoke, for he had been smoking a pipe himself the greater part
-of the day, and had not aired out the room. It was neither bubbles nor
-tobacco that had flicked a raw spot on his soul. It was smoke.
-
-
-
-III
-
-Bubbles! They seemed to be in Tommy's brain. Perhaps it was the
-association of ideas that made him think of champagne. At any rate he
-declared that he must have some, and vetoed his friend's suggestion that
-they dine--as they frequently did--at one of the little Italian table
-d'hote places in Greenwich Village.
-
-"You're a bubble and I'm a bubble and the world is a bubble," Tommy
-was saying a little later as he watched the gas stirring in his golden
-drink.
-
-They had gone to the genial old Brevoort, which was--but why tell
-persons who missed the Brevoort in its mellower days what they missed,
-and why cause anguished yearnings in the bosoms of those who knew it
-well?
-
-"Tommy," said his friend, "don't, if you love me, hand out any more of
-your jejune poeticism or musical-comedy philosophy. I'll agree with you
-that the world is a bubble for the sake of argument, if you'll change
-the record. I want to eat, and nothing interferes with my pleasure in
-a meal so much as this line of pseudocerebration that you seem to have
-adopted lately."
-
-"Bubbles seem trivial things, Jack," went on Tommy, altogether
-unperturbed. "But I have a theory that there aren't any trivial things.
-I like to think of the world balancing itself on a trivial thing. Look
-at the Kaiser, for instance. A madman. Well, let's say there's been a
-blood clot in his brain for years--a little trivial thing the size of a
-pin point, Jack. It hooks up with the wrong brain cell; it gets into
-the wrong channel, and--pouf! The world goes to war. A thousand million
-people are affected by it--by that one little clot of blood no bigger
-than a pin point that gets into the wrong channel. An atom! A planet
-balanced on an atom! A star pivoting on a molecule!"
-
-"Have some soup," said his friend.
-
-"Bubbles! Bubbles and butterflies!" continued Tommy. "Some day, Jack,
-I'm going to write a play in which a butterfly's wing brushes over an
-empire."
-
-"No, you're not," said Jack. "You're just going to talk about it and
-think you're writing it and peddle the idea round to everybody you know,
-and then finally some wise guy is going to grab it off and really write
-it. You've been going to write a play ever since I knew you."
-
-"Yes, I am; I'm really going to write that play."
-
-"Well, Tommy," said Jack, looking round the chattering dining room,
-"this is a hell of a place to do it in!"
-
-"Meaning, of course," said Tommy serenely, "that it takes more than a
-butterfly to write a play about a butterfly."
-
-"You get me," said his friend. And then after a pause he went on with
-sincerity in his manner: "You know I think you could write the play,
-Tommy. But unless you get to work on some of your ideas pretty soon, and
-buckle down to them in earnest, other people will continue to write your
-plays--and you will continue to josh them and yourself, and your friends
-will continue to think that you could write better plays if you would
-only do it. People aren't going to take you seriously, Tommy, till you
-begin to take yourself a little seriously. Why, you poor, futile, silly,
-misguided, dear old mutt, you! You don't even have sense enough--you
-don't have the moral continuity, if you follow me--to stay sore at a man
-that does you dirt! Now, do you?"
-
-"Oh, I don't know about that," said Tommy a little more seriously.
-
-"Well now, do you?" persisted his friend. "I don't say it's good
-Christian doctrine not to forgive people. It isn't. But I've seen people
-put things across on you, Tommy, and seen you laugh it off and let 'em
-be friends with you again inside of six weeks. I couldn't do it, and
-nine-tenths of the fellows we know couldn't do it; and in the way you
-do it it shouldn't be done. You should at least remember, even if you do
-forgive; remember well enough not to get bit by the same dog again. With
-you, old kid, it's all a part of your being a butterfly and a bubble.
-It's no particular virtue in you. I wouldn't talk to you like a Dutch
-uncle if I didn't think you had it in you to make good. But you've got
-to be prodded."
-
-"There's one fellow that did me dirt," said Tommy musingly, "that I've
-never taken to my bosom again."
-
-"What did you do to him?" asked his friend. "Beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, Tommy, or blow him out of existence with a soap
-bubble?"
-
-"I've never done anything to him," said Tommy soberly. "And I don't
-think I ever would do anything to him. I just remember, that's all. If
-he ever gets his come-uppance, as they say in the rural districts, it
-won't be through any act of mine. Let life take revenge for me. I never
-will."
-
-"I suppose you're right," said Dobson. "But who was this guy? And what
-did he do to you?"
-
-
-
-IV
-
-"He was--and is--my uncle," said Tommy, "and he did about everything
-to me. Listen! You think I do nothing but flitter, flutter, frivol and
-flivver! And you may be right, and maybe I never will do anything else.
-Maybe I never will be anything but a kid.
-
-"I was young when I was born. No, that's not one of my silly lines,
-Jack. I mean it seriously. I was young when I was born. I was born with
-a jolly disposition. But this uncle of mine took it out of me. I'll say
-he did! The reason I'm such a kid now, Jack, is because I had to grow up
-when I was about five years old, and I stayed grown up until I was
-seventeen or eighteen. I never had a chance to be a boy. If I showed any
-desire to be it was knocked out of me on the spot. And if I live two
-hundred years, and stay nineteen years old all that time, Jack, I won't
-any more than make up for the childhood I missed--that was stolen from
-me. Frivol? I could frivol a thousand years and not dull my appetite. I
-want froth, Jack: froth and bubbles!
-
-"This old uncle of mine--he wasn't so old in years when I first knew
-him, but in his soul he was as old as the overseers who whipped the
-slaves that built Cheops' pyramid, and as sandy and as flinty--hated me
-as soon as he saw me. He hated me before he saw me. He would have hated
-me if he had never seen me, because I was young and happy and careless.
-
-"I was that, when I went to live with him--young and happy and careless.
-I was five years old. He was my father's brother, Uncle Ezra was, and he
-beat my father out of money in his dirty, underhanded way. Oh, nothing
-illegal! At least, I suppose not. Uncle Ezra was too cautious to do
-anything that might be found out on him. There was nothing that my
-mother could prove, at any rate, and my father had been careless and had
-trusted him. When my father died my mother was ill. He gave us a home,
-Uncle Ezra did. She had to live somewhere; she had to have a roof over
-her head and attention of some sort. She had no near relations, and I
-had to be looked after.
-
-"So she and I went into his house to live. It was to be temporary. We
-were to move as soon as she got better. But she did not live long. I
-don't remember her definitely as she was before we went to live with
-Uncle Ezra. I can only see her as she lay on a bed in a dark room before
-she died. It was a large wooden bed, with wooden slats and a straw
-mattress. I can see myself sitting on a chair by the head of the bed and
-talking to her. My feet did not reach to the floor by any means; they
-only reached to the chair rungs. I can't remember what she said or what
-I said. All I remember of her is that she had very bright eyes and that
-her arms were thin. I remember her arms, but not her face, except the
-eyes. I suppose she used to reach her arms out to me. I think she
-must have been jolly at one time, too. There is a vague feeling, a
-remembrance, that before we went to Uncle Ezra's she was jolly, and
-that she and I laughed and played together in some place where there was
-red-clover bloom.
-
-"One day when I was siting on the chair, the door opened and Uncle Ezra
-came in. There was some man with him that was, I suppose, a doctor.
-I can recall Uncle Ezra's false grin and the way he put his hand on my
-head--to impress the doctor, I suppose--and the way I pulled away from
-him. For I felt that he disliked me, and I feared and hated him.
-
-"Yes, Uncle Ezra gave us a home. I don't know how much you know about
-the rural districts, Jack. But when an Uncle Ezra in a country town
-gives some one a home he acquires merit. This was a little town in
-Pennsylvania that Pm talking about, and Uncle Ezra was a prominent
-citizen--deacon in the church and all that sort of thing. Truly rural
-drama stuff, Jack, but I can't help that--it's true. Uncle Ezra had a
-reputation for being stingy and mean. Giving us a home was a good card
-for him to play. My mother had a little money, and he stole that, too,
-when she died.
-
-"I suppose he stole it legally. I don't know. It wasn't much. No one had
-any particular interest in looking out for me, and nobody would want to
-start anything in opposition to Uncle Ezra in that town if it could be
-helped anyhow. He didn't have the whole village and the whole of the
-farming country round about sewed up, all by himself, but he was one
-of the little group that did. There's a gang like that in every country
-town, I imagine. He was one of four or five big ducks in that little
-puddle--lent money, took mortgages and all that kind of thing you read
-about. I don't know how much he is worth now, counting what he has
-been stealing all his life. But it can't be a staggering sum. He's too
-cowardly to plunge or take a long chance. He steals and saves and grinds
-in a little way. He is too mean and small and blind and limited in his
-intelligence to be a big, really successful crook, such as you will find
-in New York City.
-
-"When my mother died, of course, I stayed with Uncle Ezra. I suppose
-everybody said how good it was of him to keep me, and that it showed a
-soft and kindly spot in his nature after all, and that he couldn't be so
-hard as he had the name of being. But I don't see what else could have
-been done with me, unless he had taken me out and dropped me in the mill
-pond like a blind cat. Sometimes I used to wish he had done that.
-
-"It isn't hard to put a five-year-old kid in the wrong, so as to make it
-appear--even to the child himself--that he is bad and disobedient. Uncle
-Ezra began that way with me. I'm not going into details. This isn't a
-howl; it's merely an explanation. But he persecuted me in every way. He
-put me to work before I should have known what work was--work too hard
-for me. He deviled me and he beat me, he clothed me like a beggar and he
-fed me like a dog, he robbed me of childhood and of boyhood. I won't go
-over the whole thing.
-
-"I never had decent shoes, or a hat that wasn't a rag, and I never went
-to kid parties or anything, or even owned so much as an air rifle of my
-own. The only pair of skates I ever had, Jack, I made for myself out of
-two old files, with the help of the village blacksmith--and I got licked
-for that. Uncle Ezra said I had stolen the files and the straps. They
-belonged to him.
-
-"But there's one thing I remember with more of anger than any other. He
-used to make me kneel down and pray every night before I went to bed,
-in his presence; and sometimes he would pray with me. He was a deacon in
-the church. There are plenty of them on the square--likely most of them
-are. But this one was the kind you used to see in the old-fashioned
-melodramas. Truly rural stuff, Jack. He used to be quite a shark at
-prayer himself, Uncle Ezra did. I can remember how he looked when he
-prayed, with his eyes shut and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down and
-the sound whining through his nose.
-
-"The only person that was ever human to me was a woman I called Aunt
-Lizzie. I don't know really what relation she wras to me; a distant
-cousin of Uncle Ezra's, I think. She was half blind and she was deaf,
-and he bullied her and made her do all the housework. She was bent
-nearly double with drudgery. He had given her a home, too. She didn't
-dare be very good to me. He might find it out, and then we both would
-catch it. She baked me some apple dumplings once on one of my birthdays.
-I was nine years old. And he said she had stolen the apples and flour
-from him; that he had not ordered her to make any apple dumplings,
-and it was theft; and he made me pray for her, and made her pray for
-herself, and he prayed for both of us in family prayers every day for a
-week.
-
-"I was nearly eighteen when I ran away. I might have done it sooner, but
-I was small for my age, and I was cowed. I didn't dare to call my soul
-my own, and I had a reputation for being queer, too. For I used to grin
-and laugh at things no one else thought were funny--when Uncle Ezra
-wasn't round. I suppose people in that town thought it was odd that I
-could laugh at all. No one could understand how I had a laugh left in
-me. But when I was alone I used to laugh. I used to laugh at myself
-sometimes because I was so little and so queer. When I was seventeen I
-wasn't much bigger than a thirteen-year-old kid should be. I packed a
-lot of growing into the years between seventeen and twenty-one.
-
-"When I ran away Aunt Lizzie gave me eighty-seven cents, all in nickels
-and pennies, and there were two or three of those old-fashioned two-cent
-pieces in it, too, that she had had for God knows how long. It was
-all she had. I don't suppose he ever paid her anything at all, and the
-wonder was she had that much. I told her that when I got out into the
-world and made good I would come and get her, but she shivered all over
-with fright at the idea of daring to leave. I have sent her things from
-time to time in the last ten years--money, and dresses I have bought
-for her, and little things I thought she would like. But I don't know
-whether he let her have them or not I never got any letter from her at
-all. I don't even know whether she can write, to tell the truth, and she
-wouldn't dare get one of the neighbors to write for her. But if I ever
-make any real money, Jack, I am going to go and get her, whether she
-dares to come away or not.
-
-"Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle
-Ezra hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a
-town where there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep
-school attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and
-college in five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute
-I got away from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The
-clouds rolled by and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned
-into a kid. I romped through that prep school and that college, and made
-my own living while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved
-the world and everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes
-to a duck. I came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a
-chance as a reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
-
-"I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
-good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
-want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much
-I'm never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have
-a dream that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little
-town, and that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
-
-"Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New
-York to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that
-place, and I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If
-he ever really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
-
-"You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used
-to be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
-
-"Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
-enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll
-ever change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't
-know that I'd ever do anything to him if I did--beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested.
-Let him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is.
-I wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other--not even a
-puff of cigarette smoke."
-
-He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
-finished, and then he remarked, "Let's go somewhere and dance."
-
-"Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown," suggested Jack, "and I have a couple
-of tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little."
-
-"Nope," said Tommy. "Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
-Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden."
-
-
-
-V
-
-But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
-beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
-sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
-saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
-
-The old party in the room next to Tommy's at the hotel had arrived the
-day before, with an umbrella, a straw suitcase and a worried eye on
-either side his long, white, chalkish, pitted nose. He seemed chilly
-in spite of his large plum-colored overcoat, of a cut that has survived
-only in the rural districts. He wore a salient, assertive beard, that
-had once been sandy and was now almost white, but it was the only
-assertive thing about him. His manner was far from aggressive.
-
-An hour after he had been shown to his room he appeared at the desk
-again and inquired timidly of the clerk, "There's a fire near here?"
-
-"Little blaze in the next block. Doesn't amount to anything," said the
-clerk.
-
-"I heard the--the engines," said the guest apologetically.
-
-"Doesn't amount to anything," said the clerk again. And then, "Nervous
-about fire?"
-
-The old party seemed startled.
-
-"Who? Me? Why should I be nervous about fire? No! No! No!" He beat a
-sudden retreat. "I was just asking--just asking," he threw back over his
-shoulder.
-
-"Old duck's scared of fire and ashamed to own it," mused the clerk,
-watching him out of the lobby.
-
-The old party went back to his room, and there one of the first
-things he saw was a copy of the Bible lying on the bureau. There is an
-organization which professes for its object the placing of a Bible in
-every hotel room in the land. The old party had his own Bible with him.
-As if reminded of it by the one on the bureau, he took it out of
-his suitcase and sat down and began to turn the leaves like a person
-familiar with the book--and like a person in need of comfort, as indeed
-he was.
-
-There was a text in Matthew that he sought--where was it? Somewhere in
-the first part of Matthew's gospel--ah, here it is: The twelfth chapter
-and the thirty-first verse:
-
-"All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men...."
-
-There is a terrible reservation in the same verse. He kept his eyes from
-it, and read the first part over and over, forming the syllables with
-his lips, but not speaking aloud.
-
-"All manner of sin--all manner of sin-------"
-
-And then, as if no longer able to avoid it, he yielded his consciousness
-to the latter clause of the verse:
-
-"But the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto
-men."
-
-What was blasphemy against the Holy Ghost? Could what he had done be
-construed as that? Probably if one lied to God in his prayers, that was
-blasphemy against the Holy Ghost--one form of it. And had he been lying
-to God these last two weeks when he had said over and over again in his
-prayers that it was all a mistake? It hadn't been all a mistake, but the
-worst part of it had been a mistake.
-
-He went out for his dinner that evening, but he was in again before ten
-o'clock. He could not have slept well. At two o'clock in the morning he
-appeared in front of the desk.
-
-He had heard fire engines again.
-
-"See here," said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
-done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
-fire, "you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
-we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy."
-
-The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
-down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
-
-He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
-to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At
-noon he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the
-Eden Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had
-been closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture
-house round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet
-all together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party
-elected not to go out after all.
-
-He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
-descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
-brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
-himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no
-good. Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and
-was experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him
-and the agony would begin again.
-
-The old debate--he had burned the store, with the living quarters over
-it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
-insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
-wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was
-merely sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before
-that, when one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been
-forced to accept from the same insurance company less than was actually
-due him as a matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that
-company by a shrewd trick was in a way merely to get back his own again.
-It wasn't the sort of thing that a deacon in the church would care to
-have found out on him, of course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was
-the wrong that it had led to that worried him.
-
-It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn
-her to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
-
-He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
-cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was
-not to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must
-have crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she
-was there.
-
-"I didn't know! I didn't know!"
-
-There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
-
-It was at midnight that he had set fire to the place. The old woman was
-deaf. Even when the flames began to crackle she could not have heard
-them. She had had no more chance than a rat in a trap. The old fool! It
-was her own fault! Why had she not obeyed him? Why had she come creeping
-back, like a deaf old half-blind tabby cat, to die in the flames? It
-was her own fault! When he thought of the way she had returned to kill
-herself there were moments when he cursed and hated her.
-
-But had she killed herself? Back and forth swung the inner argument. At
-times he saw clearly enough that this incident joined on without a break
-to the texture of his whole miserable life; when he recognized that,
-though it might be an accident in a strictly literal sense that the old
-woman was dead, yet it was the sort of accident for which his previous
-existence had been a preparation. Even while he fiercely denied
-his guilt, or talked of it in a seizure of whining prayer that was
-essentially a lying denial, he knew that guilt there was.
-
-Would he be forgiven? There were comforting passages in the Bible. He
-switched on the rather insufficient electric light, which was all the
-old hotel provided, for the day was too dark to read without that help,
-and turned the pages of the New Testament through and through again.
-
-At three o'clock in the afternoon he was sitting on the edge of his bed,
-with the book open in front of him and his head bowed, almost dozing.
-His pipe, with which he had filled the room with the fumes of tobacco,
-had fallen to the floor. Perhaps it was weariness, but for a brief
-period his sharper sense of fear had been somewhat stilled again. Maybe
-it was going to be like this--a gradual easing off of the strain in
-answer to his prayers. He had asked God for an answer as to whether
-he should be forgiven, and God was answering in this way, so he told
-himself. God was going to let him get some sleep, and maybe when he woke
-everything would be all right again--bearable at least.
-
-So he mused, half asleep.
-
-And then all at once he sprang wide awake again, and his terror wakened
-with him. For suddenly in front of his half-shut eyes, coming from
-nowhere in particular, there passed a puff of smoke!
-
-What could it mean? He had asked God for an answer. He had been lulled
-for a moment almost into something like peace, and--now--this puff of
-smoke! Was it a sign? Was it God's answer?
-
-He sat up on the edge of the bed, rigid, in a cold, still agony of
-superstitious fright. He dared not move or turn his head. He was afraid
-that he would see--something--if he looked behind him. He was afraid
-that he would in another moment hear something--a voice!
-
-He closed his eyes. He prayed. He prayed aloud. His eyes once closed,
-he scarcely dared open them again. After seme minutes he began to tell
-himself that perhaps he had been mistaken; perhaps he had not seen smoke
-at all. Perhaps even if he had seen smoke it was due to some explicable
-cause, and not meant for him.
-
-He greatly dared. He opened his eyes. And drifting lazily above the
-white pillow at the head of the bed was another puff of smoke.
-
-He rocked back and forth upon the bed, with his arms up as if to shield
-his head from a physical blow, and then he passed in a moment from the
-quakings of fear to a kind of still certainty of doom. God was angry at
-him. God was telling him so. God would send the devil for him. There
-was no further doubt. He would go to hell--to hell! To burn forever!
-Forever--even as the old woman had burned for a quarter of an hour. He
-began to search through the pages of the Bible again, not for words of
-comfort this time, but in a morbid ecstasy of despair, for phrases about
-hell, for verses that mentioned fire and flames.
-
-He did not need the concordance. He knew his Bible well, and his fear
-helped him. Consciousness and subconsciousness joined to guide his
-fingers and eyes in the quest.
-
-"Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming," he
-read in Isaiah, and he took it to himself.
-
-"Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and
-ye shall be melted in the midst thereof," he read in Ezekiel.
-
-He had a literal imagination, and he had a literal belief, and at every
-repetition of the word "fire" the flesh cringed and crawled on his
-bones. God! To burn! How it must hurt!
-
-"And the God that answereth by fire, let Him be God," met his eyes in
-the first book of Kings.
-
-And it all meant him. Now and then over his shoulder would float another
-little puff of smoke; and once, lifting his head suddenly from poring
-over the book, he thought he saw something that moved and glinted like a
-traveling spark, and was gone.
-
-He began to feel himself in hell already. This was the foretaste, that
-was all. Would he begin to burn even before he died? Did this smoke
-presage something of that kind? Would flames physically seize upon him,
-and would he burn, even as the old woman had burned?
-
-Suddenly in his hysteria there came a revulsion--a revolt. Having
-reached the nethermost depths of despair, he began to move upward a
-little. His soul stirred and took a step and tried to climb. He began to
-pray once more. After all, the Good Book did promise mercy! He began to
-dare to pray again. And he prayed in a whisper that now and then broke
-into a whine--a strange prayer, characteristic of the man.
-
-"Oh, God," he cried, "you promise forgiveness in that book there, and
-I'm gonna hold you to it! I'm gonna hold you to it! It's down there in
-black and white, your own words, God, and I'm gonna hold you to it! It's
-a contract, God, and you ain't the kind of a man, God, to go back on a
-contract that's down in black and white!"
-
-Thus he prayed, with a nave, unconscious blasphemy. And after long
-minutes of this sort of thing his soul dared take another step. A
-faint, far glimmering of hope came to him where he groveled. For he was
-groveling on the bed now, with the covers pulled up to his head and his
-hand upon the open Bible. He found the courage to peer from beneath the
-covers at intervals as he prayed and muttered, and minutes passed with
-no more smoke. Had the smoke ceased? The sound of his own murmuring
-voice began to reassure him. The smoke had certainly ceased! It had been
-twenty minutes since he had seen it--half an hour!
-
-What could it mean? That God was hearkening to his prayer?
-
-An hour went by, and still there was no more sign of smoke. He prayed
-feverishly, he gabbled, as if by the rapidity of his utterance and the
-repeated strokes of his words he were beating back and holding at bay
-the smoke that was God's warning and the symbol of his displeasure. And
-the smoke had ceased to come! He was to be forgiven! He was winning! His
-prayers were winning for him! At least God was listening!
-
-Yes, that must be it. God was listening now. The smoke had come as a
-warning; and he had, upon receiving this warning, repented. God had not
-meant, after all, that he was doomed irrevocably. God had meant that,
-to be forgiven, his repentance must be genuine, must be thorough--and
-it was thorough now. Now it was genuine! And the smoke had ceased! The
-smoke had been a sign, and he had heeded the sign, and now if he kept up
-his prayers and lived a good life in the future he was to be forgiven.
-He would not have to burn in hell after all.
-
-The minutes passed, and he prayed steadily, and every minute that went
-by and brought no further sign of the smoke built up in him a little
-more hope, another grain of confidence.
-
-An hour and a quarter, and he almost dared be sure that he was
-forgiven--but he was not quite sure. If he could only be quite sure! He
-wallowed on the bed, and his hand turned idly the pages of the Bible,
-lying outside on the coverlet.
-
-More than an hour had gone by. Could he accept it as an indication that
-God had indeed heard him? He shifted himself upon the bed, and stared
-up at the ceiling through a chink in the covers as if through and beyond
-the ceiling he were interrogating heaven.
-
-And lying so, there came a damp touch upon his hand, soft and chill and
-silent, as if it were delicately and ironically brushed by the kiss of
-Death. A sudden agony numbed his hand and arm. With the compulsion of
-hysteria, not to be resisted, his head lifted and he sat up and looked.
-Over the Bible and his hand that lay upon the open page there floated
-again a puff of smoke, and faintly staining his Angers and the paper
-itself was something moist and red. It stained his Angers and it marked
-with red for his straining sight this passage of Isaiah:
-
-"The earth also shall disclose her blood."
-
-It was then he cried out, "Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God!
-You meant it."
-
-It was nearly midnight when Tommy and his friend Dobson returned to the
-hotel. "Your paper's been trying to get you for an hour, Mr. Hawkins,"
-said the night clerk when they came in. "Story right in the next room to
-yours. Old party in there hanged himself."
-
-"So?" said Tommy. "Ungrateful old guy, he is! I put in the afternoon
-trying to cheer him up a little."
-
-"Did you know him?" asked the clerk.
-
-"Nope," said Tommy, moving toward the elevator.
-
-But a few moments later, confronted with the grotesque spectacle in the
-room upstairs, he said, "Yes--I--I know him. Jack! Jack! Get me out of
-here, Jack! It's Uncle Ezra, Jack! He's--he's come for me!"
-
-As has been remarked before, sometimes even a bubble may be a mordant
-weapon.
-
-
-
-
-VIII.--The Chances of the Street
-
-
-|Merriwether Buck had lost all his money. Also his sisters', and his
-cousins', and his aunts'.
-
-"At two o'clock sharp I will shoot myself," said Merriwether Buck.
-
-He caressed a ten-shot automatic pistol in the right-hand pocket of his
-coat as he loitered up Broadway. He was light-headed. He had had nothing
-to eat for forty-eight hours.
-
-"How I hate you!" said Merriwether Buck, comprehensively to the city in
-general. "If nine pistol shots would blot you out, I'd do it!"
-
-Very melodramatic language, this, for a well-brought-up young man; and
-thus indicating that he was light-headed, indeed. And as for the city,
-it continued to roar and rattle and honk and rumble and squeak and bawl
-and shuffle and thunder and grate in the same old way--supreme in its
-confidence that nine pistol shots could not, by any possibility, blot
-it out. That is one of the most disconcerting things about a city; you
-become enraged at it, and the city doesn't even know it. Unless you
-happen to be Nero it is very difficult to blot them out satisfactorily.
-
-It was one o'clock. Merriwether Buck crossed the street at Herald Square
-and went over and stood in front of the big newspaper office. A portly
-young fellow with leaden eyes came out of the building and stood
-meditatively on the curb with his hands in the pockets of clothing that
-clamored shrilly of expense.
-
-"Excuse me," said Merriwether Buck, approaching him, "but are you, by
-any chance, a reporter?"
-
-"Uh," grunted the young man, frigidly affirmative.
-
-"I can put you in the way of a good story," said Merriwether Buck,
-obeying an impulse: We may live anonymously but most of us like to feel
-that it will make a little stir when we die.
-
-"Huh," remarked the reporter.
-
-"At two o'clock," persisted Merriwether Buck, "I am going to shoot
-myself."
-
-The reporter looked bored; his specialty was politics.
-
-"Are you anybody in particular?" he asked, discouragingly.
-
-"No," confessed Merriwether Buck. It didn't seem to be worth while to
-mention that he was one of the Bucks of Bucktown, Merriwether County,
-Georgia.
-
-"I thought," said the reporter, with an air of rebuke, "that you said it
-was a _good_ story."
-
-"I am, at least, a human being," said Merriwether Buck, on the
-defensive.
-
-"They're cheap, hereabout," returned the other, in the manner of a
-person who has estimated a good many assorted lots.
-
-"You are callous," said Merriwether Buck. "Callous to the soul! What are
-you, but--but--Why, you are New York incarnate! That is what you are!
-And I think I will shoot you first!"
-
-"I don't want to be a spoil sport," said the reporter, "but I'm afraid I
-can't allow it. I have a rather important assignment."
-
-Merriwether played with the little automatic pistol in his pocket. It
-was not any regard for the consequences that deterred him from shooting
-the portly young man. But in his somewhat dizzy brain a fancy was taking
-shape; a whim worked in him. He drew his hand empty from the pocket, and
-that reporter came up out of the grave.
-
-"I am hungry," said Merriwether Buck, in obedience to the whim.
-
-"Now that you remind me of it," said the other, his lack-luster
-eyes lighting up a little, "so am I!" And he crossed the street and
-disappeared through the swinging doors of a caf.
-
-Callous, leaden-eyed young man! epitome of this hard town! So cried the
-spirit of Merriwether Buck; and then he spoke aloud, formulating his
-idea:
-
-"New York, you are on trial. You are in the balances. I give you an
-hour. If I'm asked to lunch by two o'clock, all right. If not, I will
-kill myself, first carefully shooting down the most prosperous citizens,
-and as many of 'em as I can reach. New York, it's up to you!"
-
-The idea of playing it out that way tickled him to the heart; he had
-always loved games of chance. One man or woman out of all the prosperous
-thousands in the streets might save another prosperous half-dozen;
-might save as many as he could otherwise reach with nine shots from his
-pistol, for he would reserve the tenth for himself. Otherwise, there
-should be a sacrifice; he would offer up a blood atonement for the pagan
-city's selfishness. Giddy and feverish, and drunk with the sense of his
-power to slay, he beheld himself as a kind of grotesque priest--and he
-threw back his head and laughed at the maniac conceit.
-
-A woman who was passing turned at the sound, and their eyes met. She
-smiled. Merriwether Buck was good to look at. So was she. She was of
-that type of which men are certain at once, without quite knowing why;
-while women are often puzzled, saying to themselves: "After all, it may
-be only her rings."
-
-"Pardon me," said Merriwether Buck, overtaking her, "but you and I are
-to lunch together, aren't we?"
-
-"I like your nerve!" said she. And she laughed. It was evident that she
-did like it. "Where?" she asked briefly, falling into step beside him.
-
-"Wherever you like," said Merriwether. "I leave that to you, as I'm
-depending on you to pay the check."
-
-She began a doubtful laugh, and then, seeing that it wasn't a joke,
-repeated:
-
-"I like your nerve!" And it was now evident that she didn't like it.
-
-"See here," he said, speaking rapidly, "my clothes look all right yet,
-but I'm broke. I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since day
-before yesterday. I'm not kidding you; it's true. You looked like a good
-fellow to me, and I took a chance. Hunger" (as he spoke it he seemed to
-remember having heard the remark before), "hunger makes one a judge of
-faces; I gambled on yours."
-
-She wasn't complimented; she regarded him with a manner in which scorn
-and incredulity were blended; Merriwether Buck perceived that, for some
-reason or other, she was insulted.
-
-"Don't," she said, "don't pull any of that sentimental stuff on me. I
-thought you was a gentleman!"
-
-And she turned away from him. He took a step in pursuit and started to
-renew his plea; for he was determined to play his game square and give
-the directing deities of the city a fair chance to soften whatsoever
-random heart they would.
-
-"Beat it!" she shrilled, "beat it, you cheap grafter, or I'll call a
-cop!"
-
-And Merriwether beat it; nor' by nor'west he beat it, as the street
-beats it; as the tides beat. The clock on the Times building marked 1.20
-as he paused by the subway station there. In forty minutes--just the
-time it takes to hook your wife's dress or put a girdle round the
-world--Merri-wether Buck would be beating it toward eternity, shooing
-before him a flock of astonished ghosts of his own making. Twenty
-minutes had gone by and whatever gods they be that rule New York had
-made no sign; perhaps said gods were out at lunch or gone to Coney
-Island. Twice twenty minutes more, and----
-
-But no. It is all over now. It must be. There emerges from the subway
-station one who is unmistakably a preacher. The creases of his face
-attest a smiling habit; no doubt long years of doing good have given it
-that stamp; the puffs of white hair above the temples add distinction to
-benignity.
-
-"I beg your pardon," said Merriwether Buck, "but are you a minister?"
-
-"Eh?" said the reverend gentleman, adjusting a pair of gold-rimmed
-eyeglasses. "Yes," he said pleasantly, "I am," and he removed the
-glasses and put them back on once again, as he spoke. Somehow, the way
-he did it was a benediction.
-
-"I am hungry," said Merriwether.
-
-"Dear me!" said the reverend gentleman. "I shouldn't have thought it."
-
-"Will you ask me to lunch?"
-
-"Eh?" It was an embarrassing question; but the gentleman was all
-good nature. His air indicated that he did not intend to let his
-own embarrassment embarrass Merriwether too much. "My dear man, you
-know--really----" He placed a shapely hand upon Merriwether's shoulder,
-rallyingly, almost affectionately, and completed the sentence with a
-laugh.
-
-"It's charity I'm asking for," said Merriwether.
-
-"Oh!" For some reason he seemed vastly relieved. "Have you been--but,
-dear me, are you sure you aren't joking?"
-
-"Yes; sure."
-
-"And have you--ahem!--have you sought aid from any institution; any
-charitable organization, you know?"
-
-"But no," said Merriwether, who had instinctively eliminated charitable
-organizations, free lunches and police stations from the terms of his
-wager, "I thought----"
-
-"My, my, my," hummed the reverend gentleman, interrupting him. He
-produced his card case and took a card therefrom. "I am going," he said,
-writing on the card with a pencil, "to give you my card to the secretary
-of the Combined Charities. Excellent system they have there. You'll be
-investigated, you know," he said brightly, as if that were an especial
-boon he was conferring, "your record looked into--character and
-antecedents and all that sort of thing!"
-
-"And fed?" asked Merriwether.
-
-"Oh, indeed!" And he handed over the card as if he were giving
-Merriwether the keys to the city--but not too gross and material a city
-either; Merriwether felt almost as if he were being baptized.
-
-"But," said Merriwether Buck, "I wanted _you_ to feed me!"
-
-"Oh, my dear man!" smiled the minister, "I _am_ doing it, you know. I'm
-a subscriber--do _all_ my charitable work this way. Saves time. Well,
-good-by." And he nodded cheerily.
-
-"But," said Merriwether Buck, "aren't you interested in me personally?
-Don't you want to hear my story?"
-
-"Story? Story?" hummed the other. "Indeed, but they'll learn your story
-there! They have the most excellent system there; card system; cases
-and case numbers, you know--Stories, bless you! Hundreds and hundreds of
-stories! Big file cases! You'll be number so-and-so. Really," he said,
-with a beaming enthusiasm, "they have a _wonderful_ system. Well,
-good-by!" There was a touch of finality in his pleasant tone, but
-Merriwether caught him by the sleeve.
-
-"See here," he said, "haven't you even got any _curiosity_ about
-me? Don't you even want to know why I'm hungry? Can't you find time
-_yourself_ to listen to the tale?"
-
-"Time," said the reverend gentleman, "_time_ is just what I feel the
-lack of--feel it sadly, at moments like these, sadly." He sighed, but it
-was an optimistic, good-humored sort of sigh. "But I tell you what you
-do." He drew forth another card and scribbled on it. "If you want to
-tell me your story so very badly--(dear me, what remarkable situations
-the clerical life lets one in for!)--so _very_ badly, take this card
-to my study about 3.30. You'll find my stenographer there and you can
-dictate it to her; she'll type it out. Yes, indeed, she'll type it out!
-Well, _good_-by!"
-
-And with a bright backward nod he was off.
-
-It was 1.25. There were thirty-five minutes more of life. Merriwether
-Buck gave the reverend gentleman's cards to a seedy individual who
-begged from him, with the injunction to go and get himself charitably
-Bertilloned like a gentleman and stop whining, and turned eastward on
-Forty-second Street. If you have but thirty-five minutes of life, why
-not spend them on Fifth Avenue, where sightly things abound?--indeed
-if you happen to be a homicidal maniac of some hours standing, like
-Merriwether Buck, Fifth Avenue should be good hunting ground; the very
-place to mark the fat and greasy citizens of your sacrifice.
-
-Time, the only patrician, will not step lively for the pert subway
-guards of human need, nor yet slacken pace for any bawling traffic cop
-of man's desire; he comes of an old family too proud to rush, too proud
-to wait; a fine old fellow with a sense of his own value. Time walked
-with Merriwether Buck as he loitered up Fifth Avenue, for the old
-gentleman loves to assist personally at these little comedies,
-sometimes; with Death a hang-dog third. Not even a fly-cop took note of
-the trio, although several, if they robbed a jewelry store or anything
-like that, would tell the reporters later that they had noticed
-something suspicious at the time. And the patron deities of New York
-City might have been over in Hoboken playing pinochle for all the heed
-_they_ took.
-
-Which brings us to Sixty-fifth Street and 1.58 o'clock and the presence
-of the great man, all at once.
-
-When Merriwether Buck first saw him, Meriwether Buck gasped. He couldn't
-believe it. And, indeed, it was a thing that might not happen again this
-year or next year or in five years--J. Dupont Evans, minus bulwark or
-attendant, even minus his habitual grouch, walking leisurely toward him
-like any approachable and common mortal. Merriwether Buck might well be
-incredulous. But it was he; the presentment of that remarkable face has
-been printed a hundred thousand times; it is as well known to the world
-at large as Uncle Pete Watson's cork leg is on the streets of Prairie
-Centre, Ill.; it is unmistakable.
-
-To have J. Dupont Evans at the point of a pistol might almost intoxicate
-some sane and well-fed men, and Merriwether Buck was neither. J. Dupont
-Evans--the wealth of Croesus would be just one cracked white chip in the
-game he plays. But at this moment his power and his importance had been
-extraordinarily multiplied by circumstances. The chances of the street
-had tumbled down a half dozen banks--(well did Merriwether Buck know
-that, since it had ruined him)--and financial panic was in the air;
-an epochal and staggering disaster threatened; and at this juncture a
-president in no wise humble had publicly confessed his own impotence and
-put it up to J. Dupont Evans to avert, to save, to reassure.
-
-Merriwether Buck had not dreamed of this; in the crook of his trigger
-finger lay, not merely the life of a man, but the immediate destiny of a
-nation.
-
-He grasped the pistol in his pocket, and aimed it through the cloth.
-
-"Do you know what time it is?" he asked J. Dupont Evans, politely
-enough.
-
-It was only a second before the man answered. But in that second
-Merriwether Buck, crazily exalted, and avid of the sensation he was
-about to create, had a swift vision. He saw bank after bank come
-crashing down; great railroad systems ruined; factories closed and
-markets stagnant; mines shut and crops ungathered in the fields; ships
-idle at the wharves; pandemonium and ruin everywhere.
-
-"Huh?" said J. Dupont Evans, gruffly, removing an unlighted cigar from
-his mouth. He looked at Merriwether Buck suspiciously, and made as if to
-move on. But he thought better of it the next instant, evidently, for
-he pulled out a plain silver watch and said grudgingly: "Two minutes
-of two." And then, in a tone less unpleasant, he asked: "Have you got a
-match, young man?"
-
-Merriwether fumbled in his vest pocket. In a minute and a half he would
-perfunctorily ask this man for lunch, and then he would kill him. But he
-would give him a match first--for Merriwether Buck was a well-brought-up
-young man. As he fumbled he picked out the exact spot on the other's
-waistcoat where he would plant the bullet. But the idea of a man on the
-edge of the grave lighting a cigar tickled him so that he laughed aloud
-as he held out the matches.
-
-"What can I do with these?" snorted J. Dupont Evans. "They are the sort
-that light only on their own box." From his glance one might have gained
-the impression that he thought Merriwether Buck a fool.
-
-"Great principle that," said Merriwether Buck, cackling with hysteria.
-It was so funny that a dead man should want to smoke a cigar! He would
-let him play he was alive for fifty seconds longer.
-
-"Principle?" said Evans. "Principle? What Principle?"
-
-"Well," said Merriwether, with the random argumentativeness of insanity,
-"it _is_ a great principle. Apply that principle to some high explosive,
-for instance, and you have no more battleship flare-backs--no premature
-mine blasts----"
-
-"Say," the other suddenly interrupted, "are you an inventor?"
-
-"Yes," lied Merriwether Buck, glibly, although he had never given five
-seconds' thought to the subject of high explosives in his life. "That's
-how I know. I've invented an explosive more powerful than dynamite. But
-it won't explode by contact with fire, like powder. Won't explode with a
-jar, like dynamite. Won't freeze, like dynamite. Only one way to explode
-it--you've got to bring it into contact with a certain other chemical
-the same as scratching one of these matches on its own box."
-
-"The deuce, young man!" said the other. "There's a fortune in it! Is it
-on the market at all?"
-
-"No," said Merriwether Buck, raising his pistol hand slightly and
-thrusting it a bit forward, under the mask of his coat pocket, "no money
-to start it going."
-
-"Hum," mused the other. "I tell you what you do, young man. You come
-along to lunch with me and we'll talk the thing over--money and all."
-
-And the directing deities of New York struck twice on all the city
-clocks, and striking, winked.
-
-
-
-
-IX.--The Professor's Awakening
-
-|How I ever come to hit such a swell-looking house for a handout I never
-knew. Not that there was anything so gaudy about it, neither, as far as
-putting up a bluff at being a millionaire's mansion went, which I found
-out afterwards it was, or pretty near that at any rate. But it was just
-about the biggest house in that Illinois town, and it's mostly that kind
-o' place with them naked iron heathens in the front yard and a brick
-stable behind that it ain't no use to go up against unless you're
-looking for a lemon. If you need real food and need it sudden and ain't
-prospecting around town for no other kind of an opening you better make
-for the nearest public works like a canal being dug, or a railroad gang.
-Hit the little tin dinner buckets, men that does the unskilled labor
-on jobs like that, except Swedes and Dagos, knowing what it is to be
-up against it themselves now and then and not inclined to ask no fool
-questions.
-
-Well, I went around to the back door, and Biddy Malone she lets me in. I
-found out that was her name afterwards, but as soon as I seen her face
-I guessed if her name wasn't Bridget it was Nora. It's all in the
-first look they give you after they open the door. If that look's right
-they're coming across and you'll get some kind of a surprise for your
-digestive ornaments and you don't need to make no fool breaks about
-sawing wood neither. I makes my little talk and Biddy she says come in;
-and into the kitchen I went.
-
-"It's Minnesota you're working towards," says Biddy, pouring me out a
-cup of coffee.
-
-She was thinking of the wheat harvest where there's thousands makes for
-every fall. But not for me, I never did like to work for none of them
-Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians that gets into the field before
-daylight and stays at it so long the hired men got to milk the cows by
-moonlight. They got no sense of proportion, them Gusses and Oles ain't.
-
-"I been across the river into I'way," I says, "working at my trade, and
-I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more."
-
-"And what may your trade be?" says Biddy, sizing me up careful. I seen I
-made a hit somehow or she wouldn't of asked me in the first place was
-I going to the wheat harvest, but would of just supposed I was a hobo,
-which I ain't. I got a lot of trades when I want to use one, and as a
-regular thing I rather work at one of them for a while, too, but can't
-stand it very long on account of not feeling right to stay in one place
-too long, especially in the summer. When I seen I made a hit with Biddy
-I thinks I'll hand her a good one she never heard tell of before.
-
-"I'm an agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that one in a Carnegie
-library one time and that was the first chance I ever had to spring it.
-
-"I see," says Biddy. And she opened her eyes and mouth to once. I seen
-she didn't see, but I didn't help her none. She would of rather killed
-herself than let on she didn't see. Most of the Irish is like that
-whether they is kitchen mechanics or what. After a while she says,
-pouring me out some more coffee and handing me a little glass jar full
-of watermelon rinds boiled in with molasses and things, she says:
-
-"And ain't that the dangerous thing to work at, though!"
-
-"It is," I says, and says nothing further.
-
-She sets down and folds her arms like she was thinking about it,
-watching my hands all the time as if she was looking for scars where
-something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Finally she says with
-a sigh:
-
-"Sure, and it's dangerous! Me brother Patrick was kilt at it in the old
-country. He was the most vinturesome lad of thim all!"
-
-She was putting up a stiff front, and for a minute I don't know whether
-she's stringing me or I'm stringing her. The Irish is like that. So
-being through eating I says:
-
-"Did it fly up and hit him?"
-
-She looks at me scornful and tosses her chin up and says:
-
-"No. He fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what one of them
-is, after!"
-
-"What is it, then?" says I.
-
-"Then you _don't_ know," says she; and the next thing I knew I'd been
-eased out the back door and she was grinning at me through the crack of
-it with superiousness all over her face.
-
-So I was walking slow around towards the front thinking to myself how
-the Irish was a great people; and shall I go to Chicago and maybe get a
-job sailing on the lakes till navigation closes, or shall I go back to
-Omaha and work in the railroad yards again, which I don't like much, or
-shall I go on down to Saint Looey just to see what's doing. And then I
-thinks: "Billy, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave
-you asleep with nothing over you but a barb wire fence this morning, and
-what are you going to do now? First thing you know you'll be a regular
-hobo, which some folks can't distinguish you ain't now." And then I
-thinks I'll go down to the river and take a swim and lazy around in the
-grass a while and think things over and maybe something will happen.
-Anyways, you can always join the army. And just when I was thinking that
-I got by one of them naked stone heathens that was squirting water out
-of a sea shell and a guy comes down the front steps on the jump and nabs
-me by the coat collar. I seen he was a doctor or else a piano tuner by
-the satchel he dropped when he grabbed me.
-
-"Did you come out of this house?" he says.
-
-"I did," I says, wondering what next.
-
-"Back in you goes," he says, marching me towards the front steps.
-"They've got smallpox in there."
-
-I liked to a-jumped loose when he said that, but he twisted my coat
-collar and dug his thumbs into my neck and I seen they wasn't no use
-pulling back. If a guy that's knocking around mixes up with one of the
-solid citizens the magistrate's going to give him the worst of it on
-principle. I ain't no hobo and never was, and never traveled much with
-none of them professional bums, but there has been times I had hard work
-making some people believe it. I seen I couldn't jerk away and I seen I
-couldn't fight and so I went along. He rung the door bell, and I says:
-
-"Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, doc."
-
-"No?" says he. And the door opened, and in we went. The girl that opened
-it, she drew back when she seen me.
-
-"Tell Professor Booth that Dr. Wilkins wants to see him," says the doc,
-not letting loose of me.
-
-And we stood there saying nothing till the per-fessor come in, which he
-did slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he stopped and took off a
-pair of thick glasses that was split in two like a mended show case, so
-he could see me better, and he says:
-
-"What is that you have there, Dr. Wilkins?"
-
-"A guest for you," says Dr. Wilkins, grinning all over himself. "I
-caught him leaving the house, and you being under quarantine and me
-being secretary to the board of health, I'll have to ask you to keep him
-here until we can get Miss Margery on her feet again," he says. Or they
-was words to that effect, as the lawyers asks you.
-
-"Dear me," says Perfessor Booth, kind o' helplesslike.
-
-And he put his glasses on and took them off again, and come up close and
-looked at me like I was one of them amphimissourian specimens in a free
-museum. "Dear me," he says, looking worrieder and worrieder all the
-time. And then he went to the foot of the stairs and pipes out in a
-voice that was so flat-chested and bleached-out it would a-looked just
-like him if you could a-saw it--"Estelle," he says, "O Estelle!"
-
-I thinks the perfessor is one of them folks that can maybe do a lot
-of high-class thinking, but has got to have some one tell 'em what the
-answer is. But I doped him out wrong as I seen later on.
-
-Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big
-brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no
-spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her
-face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was
-a kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had
-hair down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was
-a girl or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me
-shiver, while the doctor and the per-fessor jaws about whose fault it is
-the smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening
-she says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory."
-And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him.
-
-"What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asks her.
-
-"What would _you_ suggest, William Dear?" asks his aunt. I ain't feeling
-very comfortable, and I was getting all ready just to natcherally bolt
-out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be
-no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox.
-Fur I had ricolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated
-a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsory medical advice, me being
-temporary engaged in repair work on the city pavements through a mistake
-in the police court.
-
-William Dear looks at me when his aunt put it up to him just as solemn
-as if it was the day of judgment and his job was separating the fatted
-calves from the goats and the prodigals, and he says:
-
-"Don't you think, Aunt Estelle, we better cut his hair and bathe him and
-get him some clothes the first thing?"
-
-"William is my friend," thinks I, and I seen right off he was one of
-them serious kids that you can't tell what is going on inside their
-heads.
-
-So she calls James, which was the butler, and James he buttled me into a
-bathroom the like of which I never see before; and he buttled me into a
-suit of somebody's clothes and into a room at the top of the house next
-to his'n, and then he come back and buttled a razor and a comb and brush
-at me; him being the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he
-informs me that me not being respectable I will eat alone in the kitchen
-after the servants is done. People has made them errors about me before.
-And I looks around the room and I thinks to myself that this is all
-right so far as it has went. But is these four walls, disregarding
-the rest of the house, to be my home, and them only? Not, thinks I, if
-little Billy knows it. It was not me that invited myself to become the
-guest of this family; and if I got to be a guest I be damned if I don't
-be one according to Hoyle's rules of etiquette or I'll quit the job.
-Will I stay in this one room? Not me. Suppose the perfessor takes it
-next? And then William Dear? And suppose when William Dear gets through
-with it he gives it to Aunt Estelle? Am I to waste the golden hours
-when, maybe, my country needs me, just for accommodation? But I thinks
-it's all right for a day or two and then I'll leave my regrets and go on
-down to Saint Looey or somewheres. And then James he buttles back into
-the room like a funeral procession and says the perfessor says he wants
-to see me in the laboratory.
-
-That was a big room and the darndest looking room I ever see, and it
-smelt strong enough to chase a Hungarian pig sticker out of a Chicago
-slaughter house. It smelt like a drug store had died of old age and got
-buried in a glue factory. I never seen so much scientific effusions and
-the things to hold 'em in mixed up in one place before. They must of
-been several brands of science being mixed up there all to once. They
-was dinky little stoves, they was glass jars of all shapes and sizes
-labeled with Dago names standing around on shelves like in one of them
-Dutch delicatessen stores; they was straight glass tubes and they was
-glass tubes that had the spinal contortions; they was bones and they
-was whole skeletons, and they was things that looked like whisky stills;
-they was a bookcase full of bugs and butterflies against one wall; they
-was chunks of things that might have been human for all I know floating
-around in vats like pickled pork in a barrel; they was beer schooners
-with twisted spouts to them; they was microscopes and telescopes and
-twenty-seven shapes and sizes of knives; they was crates of stuff that
-was unpacked and crates that wasn't; and they was tables with things
-just piled and spilled over 'em, every which way, and the looks of
-everything was dirty on account of the perfessor not allowing any one in
-there but himself and Miss Estelle and William. And whether you knowed
-anything about them different brands of science or not you could see the
-perfessor was one of them nuts that's always starting to do things and
-then leaving them go and starting something else. It looked as if the
-operating room of an emergency hospital and a blacksmith shop and a
-people's free museum and a side show full of freaks, snakes and oneeyed
-calves had all gone out and got drunk together, all four of them, and
-wandered into a cremation plant to sleep off that souse; and when they
-woke up they couldn't tell which was which nor nothing else except
-they had a bad taste in their mouth and was sentenced to stay there
-unseparated and unhappy and unsociable in each other's company for
-evermore. And every time you turned around you stepped on something new,
-and if you saw a rat or a lizard or a spider you better let him alone
-for how was you going to tell he was dead or alive till he crawled up
-you?
-
-The perfessor, he was setting over by a window, and he pushed out
-another chair for me and he says sit down.
-
-"You are a gentleman of leisure?" he says, with a grin; or words to that
-effect.
-
-"I work at that sometimes," I told him, "although it ain't rightly my
-trade."
-
-"Biddy Malone says you're an agnostic," he says, looking at me close.
-It won't do, I thinks, to spring none of them agnostic gags on him, so I
-says nothing.
-
-"I'm one myself," he says.
-
-"Regular," I asks him, "or just occasional?" He kind o' grins again, and
-I thinks: "Billy, you're making a hit somehow."
-
-Then he says, like he was apologizing to someone about something: "Being
-interested in sociology and the lower classes in general, I sent for you
-to get some first-hand observations on your train of mind," he says. Or
-it was words like them. "I'm a sociologist," he says.
-
-I seen I made a hit before and I thinks I'll push my luck, so I swells
-up and says:
-
-"I'm a kind of sociologist myself."
-
-"Hum," he says, thoughtful-like. "Indeed? And your itinerant mode of
-subsistence is persecuted in pursuit of your desire to study knowledge
-of the human specimen and to observe wisdom as to the ways they live
-in the underworld," he says. Or it was words to that effect. I wish I'd
-a-had him wrote them words down. Then I'd a-had 'em just right now. I
-seen a bunch of good words help a man out of a hole before this. Words
-has always been more or less my admiration; you can never tell what one
-of them long gazaboos is going to do till you spring it on somebody. So
-I says:
-
-"That's me, perfessor. I likes to float around and see what's doing."
-
-Then he tells me that sociology was how the criminal classes and the
-lower classes in general was regarded by the scientific classes, only
-it's a difficult brand of science to get next to, he says, on account
-of the lower classes like me being mostly broke out with environment he
-says, unbeknownst even to theirselves. He's not what you would call a
-practicing sociologist all the time, being afraid, I suppose, he would
-catch it if he got too close to it; he's just one of the boys that
-writes about it, so as both the lower classes and the scientific classes
-won't make no bad breaks, he says.
-
-But what he wants of me just now ain't got nothing to do with that, he
-says. He's been making experiments with all kinds of canned victuals,
-that is put up with acid that eats holes in your stomach, he says, and
-so long as I'm going to be a guest he's going to mix some of them acids
-in my chuck and weigh me after each meal. He says I'll start slow and
-easy and there won't be nothing dangerous about it. He's been practicing
-on William Dear and Miss Estelle, which I suppose it was the acids got
-into her smile, but he's going to give them a rest, them being naturally
-delicate. I ain't got no kick, I thinks, and I'm going to leave this
-place in a day or two anyhow. Besides, I always was intrusted in
-scientific things and games of chance of all kinds.
-
-But I didn't leave in a few days, and the first thing I knew I'd been
-there a week. I had pretty much the run of the house, and I eat my meals
-with Biddy Malone, the only uncomfortable feature of being a guest being
-that Miss Estelle, soon as she found out I was an agnostic (whatever
-brand of science that is, which I never found out to this day, just
-having come across the word accidental), she begun to take charge of my
-religion and intellectuals and things like that. She used to try to cure
-the perfessor, too, but she had to give it up for a bad job, Biddy says.
-
-Biddy, she says Mrs. Booth's been over to her mother's while this
-smallpox has been going on; which I hadn't knowed they was a Mrs. Booth
-before. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, too.
-They's been a lot of talk, anyhow, Biddy says, about Mrs. Booth and some
-musician fellow around town. But Biddy she likes Mrs. Booth, and even if
-it was so who could blame her?
-
-Things ain't right around that house since Miss Estelle's been there,
-which the perfessor's science, though worrying to the nerves, ain't cut
-much ice till about four years ago when Miss Estelle come.
-
-But Mrs. Booth she's getting where she can't stand it much longer, Biddy
-says. I didn't blame her none for feeling sore about things.
-
-You can't expect a woman that's pretty and knows it, and ain't more'n
-thirty-two or three years old, and don't look it, to be interested in
-mummies and pickled snakes and the preservation of the criminal classes
-and chemical profusions, not _all_ the time. And maybe when she'd ask
-the perfessor if he wasn't going to take her to the opera he'd ask her
-did she know them Germans had invented a newfangled disease or that it
-was a mistake about them Austrians hiding their heads in the sand when
-they are scared, which any fool that's ever seen 'em working around a
-coal mine ought to of knowed. It wouldn't a-been so bad if the perfessor
-had just picked out one brand of science and stuck to it. She could
-a-got used to any one kind and knowed what to expect. But maybe this
-week the perfessor's bug would be ornithography, and he'd be chasing
-sparrows all over the front lawn; and next week it would be geneology
-and he'd be trying to grow bananas on a potato vine. Then, he'd get
-worried about the nigger problem in the south, and settle it all
-up scientific and explain how ethnology done the whole damn thing,
-lynchings and all, and it never could be straightened out till it was
-done scientific. Every new gag that come out the perfessor took up with
-it, Biddy says; one time he'd be fussing around with gastronomy through
-a telescope and the next he'd be putting astrology into William's
-breakfast food.
-
-They was a row on all the time about the kids, which they hadn't been
-till Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth she said they could kill their own
-selves if they wanted to, but she had more right than anybody to say
-what went into William's digestive ornaments, and she didn't want him
-brought up scientific nohow, but just human. He was always making notes
-on William, which was how William come to take so little interest in
-life after a while. But Miss Estelle, she egged him on. She seen he
-didn't have no sense about his money, which had been left to him when
-he was a sure enough perfessor in a college before he quit and went nuts
-and everything begun to go wrong between him and Mrs. Booth, so Miss
-Estelle she took to running his money herself; but she seen likewise
-that when it come to writing articles about William's insides and
-intellectuals the perfessor he was a genius. Well, maybe he was; but
-Biddy wouldn't let him try none of them laboratory gags on her though
-she just as soon be hypnotized and telepathed as not just to humor him.
-Miss Estelle, she eat what the perfessor give her, and after a while
-she says she'll take charge of the children's education herself, their
-mother being a frivolous young thing, and it was too bad, she says, a
-genius like him couldn't a-mar-ried a noble woman who would a-understood
-his great work for humanity and sympathized with it. So while the
-perfessor filled William and Miss Margery up on new discovered food and
-weighed 'em and probed 'em and sterilized 'em and did everything else
-but put 'em in glass bottles, Miss Estelle she laid out courses of
-reading matter for them and tended to their religion and intellectuals
-and things like that. I reckon they never was two kids more completely
-educated, inside and out. It hadn't worked much on Miss Margery yet, her
-being younger than William. But William took it hard and serious, being
-more like his father's family, and it made bumps all over his head. I
-reckon by the time William was ten years old he knew more than a whole
-high school, and every time that boy cut his finger he just naturally
-bled science. But somehow he wasn't very chipper, and whenever the
-perfessor would notice that he and Miss Estelle would change treatment.
-But Biddy liked William just the same, they hadn't spoiled his
-disposition none; and she said he seen a lot of things his aunt never
-would a-seen, William did. One day when I first was a guest I says to
-his aunt, I says:
-
-"Miss Booth, William looks kind o' pale to me like he was getting too
-much bringin' up to the square inch."
-
-She acted like she didn't care for no outsiders butting in, but I
-seen she'd noticed it, too, and she liked William, too, in a kind of
-scientific sort of a way, and she says in a minute:
-
-"What do you suggest?"
-
-"Why," says I, "what a kid like that needs is to roll around and play in
-the dirt now and then, and yell and holler."
-
-She went away like she was kind o' mad about it; but about an hour later
-the perfessor sent word for me to come down to the labaratory, and Miss
-Estelle was there.
-
-"We have decided that there is something in what you say," says the
-perfessor. "Even the crudest and most untrained intellectuals has now
-and then a bright hunch from which us men of special knowledge may take
-a suggestion," he says, or words to that effect. And they was a whole
-lot more, and they was more scientific than that. I didn't know I'd done
-nothing important like that, but when he told me all about it in science
-talk I seen I made a ten strike, though I should of thought anyone could
-of saw all William needed was just to be allowed to be a little more
-human.
-
-But what do you think--I never was so jarred in my life as I was the
-next day. I seen Miss Estelle spreading an oilcloth on the floor, and
-then the butler come in and poured a lot of nice, clean, sterilized dirt
-on to it. And then she sent for William.
-
-"William Dear," she says, "we have decided that what you need is more
-recreation mixed in along with your intellectuals. You ought to romp and
-play in the dirt, close to the soil and nature, as is right for a youth
-of your age. For an hour each day right after you study your biology and
-before you take up your Euclid you will romp and play in this dirt like
-a child of nature, and frolic. You may now begin to frolic, William, and
-James will gather up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic." Or it was
-words to that effect.
-
-But William didn't frolic none. He seen things they didn't. He just
-looked at that dirt, and he come the nearest to smiling I ever seen
-William come; and then he come the nearest to getting mad I ever seen
-William come. And then he says very serious:
-
-"Aunt Estelle," he says, "I shall _not_ frolic. I have come to that
-place in my discretions where my intellectuals got to work some for
-theirselves. It is them intellectuals which you have trained that
-refuses to be made ridiculous one hour each day between the biology
-lesson and the Euclid lesson with sand." Those was not William's exact
-words, which he always had down as slick as his pa, but they was what he
-meant. William was a serious kid, but he seen things his aunt never had
-no idea of. And he never did frolic, neither, and all that nice clean
-dirt had to be throwed out by the stable amongst the unscientific dirt
-again.
-
-That was before Biddy Malone told me about why it was that the perfessor
-and his wife didn't get along well, and as I was saying I didn't
-blame her none, Miss Estelle having finally beat her out about her own
-children, too; and she feeling she didn't scarcely own 'em no more, and
-they hardly daring to kiss their own mamma with Miss Estelle in the room
-because of germs, so Biddy says. Biddy, she says the perfessor is all
-right, he's just a fool and don't mean no harm by his scientific gags,
-but Miss Estelle she's a she-devil and takes that way to make herself
-the boss of that house. If she wasn't there Mrs. Booth would have been
-boss and never let the perfessor know it and things wouldn't a-been so
-bad. Which shows that so long as every house got to have a boss it ain't
-so much difference if it's a him or her so long as it ain't a relation.
-
-The perfessor always eats his dinner in one of them coats with the
-open-face vest to it, and one night I thinks I will, too. When you is in
-Rome you does like the Dagos does, I thinks.
-
-So I sends for James along before dinner time and I says: "Where is my
-dinky clothes to eat dinner in?" I says.
-
-James he says I'm to continue to eat dinner by myself. Which is all
-right, I tells him, but I'll do it in style or I'll quit the job. So he
-goes and asks Miss Estelle, and she comes in with that lemon grin on,
-but looking, too, like I done something to please her.
-
-"Is it true," she says, "that already the effects of a refined
-environment has overcome defections in early training and a misfortune
-in ancestral hereditary?" she says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-"It is true," I says. And the perfessor's being too small she made James
-give me his'n. But when I seen all that shirt front it made me feel
-kind of uncomfortable, too. So I takes them off again and puts on my old
-striped sweater and puts on the vest and coat over that, and the effect
-of them red stripes running crossways is something gorgeous with one of
-them open-face vests over it.
-
-So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
-perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
-got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves,
-and most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got
-hold of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest
-book! It was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in
-real talk down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what
-it was about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's
-never been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been
-going against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there
-ain't nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli
-stories I read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart
-movie or a Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man
-of that story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross
-circling around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It
-wasn't for nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on
-everybody gets as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands
-when another savings bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him.
-And the snakes wiggles all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one
-time when they cleaned out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns
-gets its drinking water from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die
-and can't make it; and their ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and
-they go by him in the moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a
-frosty morning out of an engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to
-that story, too. I bet the fellow that doped that out had been on an
-awful bat. I like to of talked with that nut. They was a fellow named
-Looney Hogan use to have them phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what
-he saw after he had 'em. Looney was awful good company and I use to like
-to hear him tell what he seen and what he thinks he seen, but he walked
-off of a grain barge up to Duluth when he was asleep one night and he
-never did wake up.
-
-Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
-ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the
-nuts that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two
-guys can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has
-seen different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long
-time there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I
-wakes up sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room
-that opens right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors
-like is on to a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's,
-and she says like she was choked up:
-
-"But I _must_ see them before we go, Henry."
-
-And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
-
-"But, my God!" he says, "suppose you catch it yourself, Jane!"
-
-I set up straight then, and I would of give a good deal to see through
-that door, because Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name.
-
-"You mean suppose _you_ get it," she says. I like to of seen the look
-she must of give him to fit in with the way she says that _you_. He
-didn't say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down
-some, and she says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I
-_did_ get it? Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?"
-
-"Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way
-I feel. _You_ know that." He said it quick enough, all right, just the
-way they do in a show, but it sounded _too much_ like it does on the
-stage to of suited me if _I'd_ been her. I seen folks overdo them little
-talks before this.
-
-I listens some more, and then I see how it is. This is that musician
-feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with
-him all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that.
-They may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em
-don't like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they
-was already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here
-first so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She just simply couldn't
-get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see
-Margery with that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night?
-And even if she tries just to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot
-he'll wake up and she'll be ketched at it."
-
-And then I thinks, suppose she _is_ ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a
-woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key,
-even if they is a quarantine on to it, and see her kids? And if she is
-ketched seeing them, how would anyone know she was going to run off? And
-ain't she got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring
-her over from her mother's house, even if it is a little late?
-
-Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby
-I better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated
-me purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle.
-So fur as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's
-coming to him, nohow. And as fur _her_, you got to let some people find
-out what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?"
-
-But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my
-shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors,
-and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward
-and forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and
-her undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's
-kind o' hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids,
-and she's begging off fur more time ginerally.
-
-Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She
-was a peach.
-
-And I couldn't blame her so much, either, when I thought of Miss Estelle
-and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and
-years world without end.
-
-Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right
-off that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to
-keep a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married
-to her. But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right
-when they ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown,
-pointed beards fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too
-much like a woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of
-pie at the lunch counter and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big.
-She was setting in front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and
-he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad and trying not to show it,
-and I seen he was scared of the smallpox and trying not to show that,
-too. And just about that time something happened that kind o' jolted me.
-
-They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got
-a high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on
-the other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which
-was a bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy.
-First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and
-Henry didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the
-room, with their back to it.
-
-Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair
-does. Will she squeak, I wonders?
-
-"Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller.
-
-Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak.
-
-"A fool?" asks Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going
-with you at all, then?"
-
-That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and
-part of a crumpled-up coat tail.
-
-"But I _am_ going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up just like
-she is going to put her arms around him.
-
-But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the
-perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes
-like he's just woke up recent, and he's got a grin on to his face that
-makes him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time.
-
-"Excuse me," says the perfessor.
-
-They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane
-never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But
-if they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and
-having a fit. They looks at him and he just sets there and grins at
-them.
-
-But after a while Jane, she says:
-
-"Well, now you _know!_ What are you going to do about it?"
-
-Henry, he starts to say something, too. But----
-
-"Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "_You_ aren't going
-to do anything." Or they was words to that effect.
-
-"Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else
-Jane will think the worse of him, "I am----"
-
-"Shut up," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a minute
-or two. _You_ don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me and
-my wife."
-
-When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something
-into him beside science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised
-herself. But she says nothing, except:
-
-"What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean
-kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a
-little more, and says: "What _can_ you do, Frederick?"
-
-Frederick, he says, not excited a bit:
-
-"There's quite a number of things I _could_ do that would look bad when
-they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you
-forces it on to me." Then he says:
-
-"You _did_ want to see the children, Jane?"
-
-She nodded.
-
-"Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?"
-
-The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and
-he didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the
-feller with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now."
-
-Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way
-like Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping
-ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no
-blood on the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making
-up his mind about something, too. Jane, she says:
-
-"_You_ a better man? _You?_ You think you've been a model husband just
-because you've never beaten me, don't you?"
-
-"No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been
-a worse fool, maybe, than if I _had_ beaten you." Then he turns to Henry
-and he says:
-
-"Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in
-the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets
-up and trots out, and I heard him running down stairs to his labertory.
-
-Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane
-a-looking at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some
-kind of a strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't
-do it. And Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects
-it. And me, I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is
-that there perfessor up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one
-else. He is looney, that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I
-wonder if they is anyone that ain't looney sometimes? I been around the
-country a good 'eal, too, and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable
-things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or less looney when
-the _search us the femm_ comes into the case. Which is a Dago word I got
-out'n a newspaper and it means: Who was the dead gent's lady friend?'
-And we all set and sweat and got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor
-to come back.
-
-"Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin on to his face and a pill
-box in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and
-chilly: "Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science.
-All the same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she
-isn't worth fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I
-made 'em myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it
-gets to working well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken.
-The other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one,
-I keep her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait
-long enough after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town."
-
-Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of
-it. When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek
-on the inside like a piece of sandpaper. He was scared, Henry was.
-
-"But _you_ know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!"
-
-"That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around
-each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him
-and one for me. _You_ don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the
-favorite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I want
-him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking it.
-In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house that
-he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal without
-I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and respectable. The
-effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one can tell the
-difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood anywhere. I will
-be found dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, or else he
-will be picked up dead in the street, far enough away so as to make no
-talk." Or they was words to that effect.
-
-He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder
-if I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's
-between them three." Beside, I want to see which one is going to get
-that there loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chance of
-all kinds, and when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I
-been misjudging him all this time.
-
-Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick.
-
-"I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of
-that kind."
-
-"Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have
-refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already.
-You're really the _main_ party to it.
-
-"But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I
-ought to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face
-the music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane.
-If you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out
-these pills, one to him and then one to me. _You_ must kill one or the
-other of us, or else _I'll_ kill _him_ the other way. And _you_ had
-better pick one out for him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else
-let him pick one out for himself," he says.
-
-Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he
-hadn't. I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry
-inside.
-
-Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she
-looked at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's
-sake, spunk up some, and take one if it _does_ kill you!" Then she says
-out loud: "Henry, if you die I will die, too!"
-
-And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If
-she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur
-Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or
-not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor.
-What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump
-in now and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between
-them three and Providence." Beside, I'm anxious to see who is going
-to get that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling just like
-Providence hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with
-his own hands. And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right
-and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the
-wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's
-place I would of let them all off kind o' easy.
-
-Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is just looking at it and shaking.
-
-The perfessor reaches for his watch, and don't find none. Then he
-reaches over and takes Henry's watch, and opens it, and lays it on the
-table. "A quarter past one," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to make
-me shoot you after all? I didn't want any blood nor any scandal," he
-says. "It's up to you," he says, "whether you want to take that pill and
-get your even chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting way
-is sure, but looks bad in the papers. The pill way don't implicate any
-one," he says. "Which?" And he pulls a gun.
-
-Henry he looks at the gun.
-
-Then he looks at the pill.
-
-Then he swallows the pill.
-
-The perfessor puts his'n into his mouth. But he don't swallow it. He
-looks at the watch, and he looks at Henry. "Sixteen minutes past one,"
-he says. "_Mr. Murray will be dead at exactly fourteen minutes to two_.
-I got the harmless one. I can tell by the taste of the chemicals."
-
-And he put the pieces out into his hand to show that he chewed his'n
-up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes for a verdict from his
-digestive ornaments. Then he put 'em back into his mouth and chewed 'em
-and swallowed 'em down like it was coughdrops.
-
-Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make
-fur the door, but he falls down on to a sofa.
-
-"This is murder," he says, weaklike. And he tries to get up agin, but
-this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
-
-"It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor
-must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it
-to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes."
-
-When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top
-of him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was
-turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she just
-gurgles in her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He
-ketches her. "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look on to his
-face, "and let us have a talk."
-
-She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty
-has got. But she can't look away from him.
-
-And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor
-had only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of
-loosened up and yelled, and I would of. I just _needed_ to fetch a yell.
-But Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling just like
-he'd _always_ been there, and I'd _always_ been staring into that room,
-and the last word anyone spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years
-ago.
-
-"You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in
-that stare-eyed way. "You're a _murderer,_" she says, saying it like she
-was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one.
-
-"Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any
-chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted
-through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and
-sugar. He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing
-you that the fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine
-woman like you, Jane," he says.
-
-Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wildlike, her
-voice clucking like a hen does, and she says:
-
-"It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a
-murder! Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she
-says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder
-than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but just wasn't
-no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry.
-Women is made unlike most other animals in many ways. When they is
-foolish about a man they can stand to have that man killed a good 'eal
-better than to have him showed up ridiculous right in front of them.
-They will still be crazy about the man that's killed, but they don't
-never forgive the lobster. I seen that work out before this. You can be
-most any thing else and get away with it, but if you're a lobster it's
-all off even if you can't help being a lobster. And when the perfessor
-kicks Henry in the ribs and he comes to and sneaks out, Jane she never
-even looks at him.
-
-"Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you got a lot to
-forgive me. But do you s'pose I learned enough sense so we can make a go
-of it if we start over again?"
-
-But Jane never said nothing.
-
-"Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England to stay there for
-good."
-
-She begins to take a little interest then. "Did Estelle tell you so?"
-she says.
-
-"No," says the perfessor, "Estelle don't know it yet. But she is. I'm
-going to tell her in the mornin'."
-
-But she still hates him. She's making herself. She wouldn't of been a
-female woman if she'd of been coaxed that easy. Pretty soon she says,
-"I'm going upstairs and go to bed. I'm tired." And she went out looking
-like the perfessor was a perfect stranger.
-
-After she left the perfessor set there quite a while and he was looking
-tired out, too; and there wasn't no mistake about me. I was asleep all
-through my legs, and I kept a wondering to myself, suppose them pills
-had one of them been loaded sure enough, which one would of got it? And
-when the perfessor leaves I says to myself, I reckon I better light a
-rag. So I goes to the front window and opens it easy; but I thinks
-about Henry's watch on the table, every one else having forgot it, and I
-thinks I better hunt him up and give it to him.
-
-And then I thinks why should I give him pain, for that watch will always
-remind him of an unpleasant time he once had.
-
-And if it hadn't been for me sitting in that window looking at that
-watch I wouldn't a-been writing this, for I wouldn't of been in jail
-now.
-
-I tried to explain my intentions was all right, but the police says
-it ain't natural to be seen coming out of a front window at two in the
-morning in a striped sweater and a dinky dinner suit with a gold watch
-in your hand; if you are hunting the owner you are doing it peculiar.
-
-One of them reporters he says to me to write the truth about how I got
-into jail; nobody else never done it and stuck to facts. But this is
-the truth so help me; it was all on account of that watch, which my
-intentions with regard to was perfectly honorable, and all that goes
-before leads up to that watch. There wasn't no larceny about it; it was
-just another mistake on the part of the police. If I'd of been stealing
-wouldn't I stole the silverware a week before that?
-
-The more I travel around the more dumb people I see that can't
-understand how an honest and upright citizen can get into circumstantial
-evidence and still be a honest and upright citizen.
-
-
-
-
-X.--The Penitent
-
-
-|You, who are not married," said the penitent, "cannot know--can never
-realize----"
-
-He hesitated, his glance wandering over the evidences of luxury, the
-hints of Oriental artistry, the esthetic effectiveness of Dr. Eustace
-Beaulieu's studio.
-
-"Proceed," said Dr. Beaulieu, suavely. "What I may know is not the
-important thing. You do not address yourself to me, but through me
-to that principle of Harmony in the Cosmos which is Spirit--Ultimate
-Spirit--which we call God. All that I can do is assist you to get into
-Accord with the Infinite again, help you to vibrate in unison with the
-Cosmic All."
-
-"You are right; I do not look to you," said the penitent, "for ease of
-mind or spirit." And a fleeting half-smile showed in his eyes, as if
-some ulterior thought gave a certain gusto to the manner in which he
-stressed the pronoun _you_. But the rest of his scarred and twisted
-face was expressionless, beneath the thick mask of a heavy gray-streaked
-beard that grew almost to his eyes.
-
- * Author's Note: "The Penitent" was suggested by two poems,
- "A Forgiveness," by Browning, and "The Portrait," by Owen
- Meredith.
-
-Dr. Eustace Beaulieu was the leader--nay, the founder--of one of the
-many, many cults that have sprung up in New York City and elsewhere in
-America during the past three or four decades. An extraordinary number
-of idle, well-to-do women gathered at his studio two or three times a
-week, and listened to his expositions of ethics _de luxe_, served with
-just the proper dash of Oriental mysticism and European pseudoscience.
-He was forty, he was handsome, with magnetic brown eyes and the long
-sensitive fingers of a musician; he was eloquent, he was persuasive, he
-was prosperous.
-
-When he talked of the Zend-Avesta, when he spoke of the Vedantic
-writings, when he touched upon the Shinto worship of the Nipponese, when
-he descanted upon the likeness of the Christian teachings to the tenets
-of Buddhism, when he revealed the secrets of the Yogi philosophy, when
-he hinted his knowledge of the priestly craft of older Egypt and of
-later Eleusis, his feminine followers thrilled in their seats as a
-garden of flowers that is breathed upon by a Summer wind--they vibrated
-to his words and his manner and his restrained fervor with a faint
-rustling of silken garments and a delicate fragrance of perfume.
-
-Men were not, as a rule, so enthusiastic concerning Dr. Eustace Beaulieu
-and his cult; there were few of them at his lectures, there were few of
-them enrolled in the classes where he inducted his followers into the
-more subtle phases of ethics, where he led them to the higher planes
-of occultism, for a monetary consideration; few of them submitted
-themselves to him for the psychic healing that was one of his major
-claims to fame. And this scarred and bearded stranger, who limped, was
-one of the very few men who had ever intimated a desire to bare his soul
-to Dr. Beaulieu, to tell his story and receive spiritual ministration,
-in the manner of the confessional. These confessionals, after the public
-lectures, had been recently introduced by Dr. Beaulieu, and they were
-giving him, he felt, a firmer grip upon his flock--his disciples, he did
-not hesitate to call them.
-
-"I repeat," said the penitent--if he was a repentant man, indeed--"no
-bachelor can know what love really is. He cannot conceive of what the
-daily habit of association with a woman who seems made for him, and for
-him alone, may mean to a man. My love for my wife was almost worship.
-She was my wife indeed, I told myself, and she it was for whom I worked.
-
-"For I did work, worked well and unselfishly. Every man must have
-some work. Some do it from necessity, but I did it because I loved
-the work--and the woman--and thus I gained a double reward. I was a
-politician, and something more. I think I may say that I was a patriot,
-too. The inheritor of wealth and position, I undertook to clear the city
-in which I lived, and which my forefathers had helped to build, of
-the ring of grafters who were making the name of the town a byword
-throughout the nation. The details of that long and hard strife are not
-pertinent. I fought with something more than boldness and determination;
-I fought with a joy in every struggle, because I fought for something
-more than the world knew. The world could not see that my inspiration
-was in my home; that in the hours of battle my blood sang joyously with
-the thought of--her! Was it any wonder that I worked well?
-
-"One day, as I sat in my office downtown, the thought of her drew me so
-strongly that I determined to surprise her by coming home unexpectedly
-early. It was summer, and we were living in our country home, an
-old-fashioned stone residence a couple of miles from the outskirts of
-the city. The house was situated at the edge of a park that was, indeed,
-almost virgin forest, for the whole estate had been in my family for
-nearly a hundred years.
-
-"I determined to surprise my wife, and at the same time to take the rare
-relaxation of a suburban walk. I was soon outside the city limits, and
-through the zone where vacant lots broaden into fields; and then I left
-the road, cutting across the fields and finally plunging into the woods
-on my own place. Thus it was that I approached the house from the rear
-and came suddenly out of the timber into my own orchard. I seldom walked
-from town, and it was a good long hour before my usual time of arrival,
-although in that sheltered and woody place the dusk was already
-gathering in.
-
-"As I entered the orchard a man made a hurried exit from a vine-wreathed
-pergola where my wife often sat to read, cast one look at me, cleared
-the orchard fence, and made off through the woods, disappearing at once
-among the boles of the trees.
-
-"He had not turned his full face toward me at any time, but had shielded
-it with an upflung arm; from the moment he broke cover until his
-disappearance there had passed less time than it takes to tell it, and I
-was scarcely to be blamed if I was left guessing as to his identity, for
-the moment. For the moment, I say.
-
-"There had been so much fright in his manner that I stood and looked
-after him. The thought came to me that perhaps here was a man who had
-had an affair with one of my servants. I turned toward the pergola and
-met--my wife!
-
-"She was a beautiful woman, always more beautiful in her moments of
-excitement. She confronted me now with a manner which I could not help
-but admire. I trusted her so that she might readily have passed off a
-much more anomalous situation with an easy explanation. But in her face
-I read a deliberate wish to make me feel the truth.
-
-"I looked at her long, and she returned the gaze unflinchingly. And
-I recognized her look for what it was. She had cast off the chains of
-deceit. Her glance was a sword of hatred, and the first open thrust of
-the blade was an intense pleasure to her. We both knew all without a
-word.
-
-"I might have killed her then. But I did not. I turned and walked toward
-the house; she followed me, and I opened the door; she preceded me
-inside. She paused again, as if gathering all her forces for a struggle;
-but I passed her in silence, and went upstairs to my own room.
-
-"And then began a strange period in my life. Shortly after this episode
-came a partial triumph of the reform element in my city; the grafters
-were ousted, and I found myself with more than a local reputation, and
-thrust into an office. My life was now even more of a public matter than
-before. We entertained largely. We were always in the public eye. Before
-our guests and in public we were always all that should be. But when
-the occasion was past, we would drop the mask, turn from each other with
-dumb faces, and go each our severed ways.
-
-"For a year this sort of life kept up. I still worked; but now I worked
-to forget. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, it was always
-as of some one who was dead. Or so I told myself, over and over again,
-until I believed it.
-
-"One day there was a close election. I was the successful candidate. I
-was to go to Congress. All evening and far into the night my wife and
-I played our parts well. But when the last congratulation had been
-received, and the last speech made, and the last friend had gone, and
-we were alone with each other once more, she turned to me with a look
-something like the one she had met me with on that summer evening a year
-before.
-
-"'I want to speak with you,' she said.
-
-"'Yes?'
-
-"They were the first words we had exchanged in that year, when not
-compelled by the necessities.
-
-"'What do you wish to speak about?' I asked her.
-
-"'You know,' she said, briefly. And I did know. There was little use
-trying to deny it.
-
-"'Why have you asked me no questions?' she said.
-
-"I would have made another attempt to pass the situation over without
-going into it, but I saw that that would be impossible. She had reached
-the place where she must speak. I read all this in her face. And looking
-at her closely with the first candid glance I had given her in that
-year, I saw that she had changed greatly, but she was still beautiful.
-
-"'I did not choose to open the subject with you,' I said; 'I thought
-that you would explain when you could stand it no longer. Evidently that
-time has come. You were to me like a dead person. If the dead have any
-messages for me, they must bring them to me unsolicited. It was not my
-place to hunt among the tombs.'
-
-"'No,' she said, 'let us be honest, since it is the last talk we may
-ever have together. Let us be frank with each other, and with ourselves.
-I was not like a dead person to you. The dead are dead, and I am not.
-You asked me no questions because you disdained me so. You despised
-me so--and it was sweet to you to make me feel the full weight of your
-scorn through this silence. It was better than killing me. Is that not
-the real reason?'
-
-"'Yes,' I admitted, 'that is it. That is the truth.' "'Listen,' she
-said, 'it would surprise you--would it not--to learn that I still love
-you--that I have loved you all along--that you are the only man I have
-ever really loved--that I love you now? All that is incredible to you,
-is it not?'
-
-"'Yes,' I said, 'it is. You must pardon me, but--it is incredible to
-me.'
-
-"'Well, it is true,' she said, and paused a moment. 'And I can tell you
-why it is true, and why--why--the--the other was true, too. You--you
-do not understand women,' she said. 'Sometimes I think if you were a
-smaller man, in some ways, you would understand them better. Sometimes
-I think that you are too--too big, somehow--ever to make a woman happy.
-Not too self-centered; you are not consciously selfish; you never mean
-to be. But you give, give, give the riches of your nature to people--to
-the world at large--instead of to those who should share them.
-
-"'Oh, I know--the fault is all mine! Another kind of woman--the right
-kind for you--the kind you thought I was--would not have asked for all
-that was a necessity for me; would have been big enough to have done
-without it; would have lost herself in your love for all humanity. That
-is the kind of woman you thought I was. And I tried to be. But I wasn't.
-I wasn't that big.
-
-"'I did sympathize with your work; I could understand it; I loved to
-hear you tell about it. But I loved it because it was you that told
-me about it. You didn't see that! You thought I was a goddess. It was
-enough for your nature to worship me; to set me upon a pedestal and to
-call me your inspiration; oh, you treated me well--you were faithful
-to me--you were generous! But you neglected me in a way that men do not
-understand; that some men will never understand. While you were giving
-your days and your nights, and every fiber of your brain and body, to
-what you called the cause of the people, you more and more forgot you
-had a wife. Again and again and again I tried to win you back to
-what you were when I married you--to the time when your cause was not
-all--but you wouldn't see; I couldn't make you feel.
-
-"'Then I thought I would show you that other men were not such fools as
-to overlook what was wasted on you. But you never noticed; you trusted
-me too much; you were too much engrossed. And then I began to hate you.
-I loved you more than I ever did before, and at the same time I hated
-you. Can you understand that? Do you see how women can hate and love at
-the same time? Well, they can.
-
-"'At last--for I was a fool--I took a lover!"
-
-"'What was his name?' I broke in.
-
-"'His name?' she cried; 'that does not matter! What matter if there was
-one of them, or two of them. That is nothing!--the name is nothing--they
-were nothing--nothing but tools; the symbols of my rage, of my hatred
-for you; whether I loved or hated you, you were all--always.'
-
-"'They were merely convenient clubs with which to murder my honor in the
-dark--is that it?' I said.
-
-"'Yes,' she said, 'that is it, if you choose to put it so.' And she
-spoke with a humility foreign to her nature.
-
-"'And what now?' I asked.
-
-"'Now,' she said, 'now that I have spoken; now that I have told you
-everything; now that I have told you that I have gone on loving you more
-and more and more--now--I am going to die.'
-
-"'You have not asked me to forgive you,' I said.
-
-"'No,' she replied. 'For what is forgiveness? I do not know exactly what
-that word means. It is supposed to wipe out something that has happened,
-is it not?--to make things the same as they were before! But it does not
-do that. That which has happened, has happened; and you and I know it.'
-
-"'You had better live,' I said; 'I no longer consider you worthless. I
-feel that you are worthy of my anger now.'
-
-"Her face cleared almost into something like joy.
-
-"'I have told the truth, and I raise myself from the depths of your
-scorn to the place where you can feel a hot rage against me?' she asked.
-
-"'Yes,' I said. And the light on her face was like that of which some
-women are capable when they are told that they are beloved.
-
-"'And if I die?' she asked.
-
-"'Who knows but that you might climb by it?' I said. 'Who knows but what
-your death might turn my anger to love again?' And with that I turned
-and left her there.
-
-"That night I sat all night in my study, and in the morning they brought
-me the news that she was dead. She must have used some poison. What, I
-do not know; and the physicians called it heart-failure. But what is the
-matter, Doctor?"
-
-"Nothing, nothing!" said Dr. Beaulieu. And he motioned for the narrator
-to proceed. But there were beads of perspiration upon the healer's
-forehead, and a pallor overspread his face.
-
-"I had condemned her to death," the penitent went on, "and she had been
-her own executioner. She had loved me; she had sinned against me;
-but she had always loved me; she had hated the flesh that sinned, and
-scorned it as much as I; her life was intolerable and she had been her
-own executioner.
-
-"The revulsion of feeling came. I loved her again; now that I had lost
-her. All that day I shut myself up, seeing no one; refusing to look
-at the dozens of telegrams that came pouring in from friends and
-acquaintances, thinking--thinking--thinking----
-
-"Night came again; and with it the word that the best friend I had was
-in the house; a friend of my college days, who had stood shoulder to
-shoulder with me in many a fight, then and since. He had come to be
-under the same roof with me in the hour of my bitterest bereavement,
-was the word he sent--how bitter now, he did not know. But
-he did not intrude upon the privacy of my grief. And I sat
-thinking--thinking--thinking--
-
-"Suddenly the idea came to me that I would go upstairs to the chamber
-where she was, and look at her once more. Quietly I stole up the stairs,
-and through the hushed, dim house, on into the gloomy room, lighted only
-by the candles at the head and foot of the curtained couch on which she
-lay.
-
-"In the room beyond, the watchers sat. I stole softly across the floor
-so as not to attract their attention; there was no one in the room
-with the body. I approached the couch, and with my hand put by the
-curtain----
-
-"Then I dropped it suddenly. I remembered a locket which she had
-formerly worn that had always had my picture in it, in the early days
-of our married life; a locket that had never left her neck, waking or
-sleeping. And I wondered----
-
-"I wondered something about women which no one has ever been able to
-tell me; not even a woman. I wondered if any light o' love had ever been
-able to make her feel anything like _real_ love, after all! I wondered
-if she had ever hugged the thought of her sin to her bosom, even as
-she had at first hugged the thought of our real love--hers and mine. I
-wondered if she had ever carried about with her a sentimental reminder
-of her lover, of any lover, as she had once done of her husband--and how
-long ago! I wondered how important a thing it had seemed to her, after
-all! She had reconciled herself to herself, with her death, and made
-me love her again. And I wondered to how great an extent she had
-ever fooled a lover into thinking she loved him! There are depths and
-contradictions and cross-currents in the souls of women that even women
-do not know, far less men--I wondered whose picture was in that locket!
-
-"I thrust my hand through the curtains of the bed again, and then jumped
-back.
-
-"I had felt something warm there.
-
-"Did she live, after all?
-
-"At the same instant I heard a movement on the other side of the bed. I
-went around.
-
-"My best friend was removing his hand from the curtains on the other
-side, and in his hand was the locket. It was his hand that I had felt.
-
-"We stared at each other. I spoke first, and in a whisper, so that the
-others in the next room, who had come to watch, should not hear.
-
-"'I came for that,' I said.
-
-"'The locket? So did I," he said. And then added quite simply, 'My
-picture is in it.'
-
-"'You lie!' I whispered, shaken by a wind of fury. And yet I knew that
-perhaps he did not lie, that what he said might well be true. Perhaps
-that was the cause of my fury.
-
-"His face was lined with a grief and weariness terrible to behold. To
-look at him you would have thought that there was nothing else in the
-world for him except grief. It was a great grief that made him careless
-of everything else.
-
-"'It is my picture,' he said. 'She loved me.'
-
-"'I say that you lie,' I repeated. 'She may have played with you--but
-she never loved any one but me--in her heart she never did!'
-
-"'You!' And because he whispered, hissing out the words, they seemed to
-gain in intensity of scorn. 'You! She hated you! You who neglected her,
-you with your damned eternal politics, you who could never understand
-her--love? You who could never give her the things a woman needs and
-must have--the warmth--the color--the romance--the poetry of life!
-You!--with your cold-blooded humanitarianism! I tell you, she loved
-_me!_ Why should I hesitate to avow it to you? It is the sweetest
-thing on earth to me, that she loved me! She turned from you to me
-because----'
-
-"'Don't go into all that,' I said. 'I heard all about that last
-night--from her! Open the locket, and let us see whose face is there!'
-
-"He opened it, and dropped the locket. He reeled against the wall, with
-his hands over his face, as if he had been struck a physical blow.
-
-"I picked the toy up and looked at it.
-
-"The face in the locket was neither his face nor mine. It was the face
-of--of the man who ran from the pergola and vaulted over the orchard
-wall into the woods that summer night a year earlier; the man whom I had
-not, for the moment, recognized.
-
-"We stood there, this man who had been my best friend and I, with the
-locket between us, and I debated whether to strike him down----"
-
-The narrator paused. And then he said, fixing Dr. Beaulieu with an
-intent gaze:
-
-"Should I have struck him down? You, who are a teacher of ethics,
-who set yourself up to be, after a fashion, a preacher, a priest, a
-spiritual director, tell me, would I have been justified if I had killed
-him?"
-
-Dr. Beaulieu seemed to shrink, seemed to contract and grow smaller,
-physically, under the other man's look. He opened his mouth as if to
-articulate, but for a second or two no word came. And then, regaining
-something of his usual poise, he said, although his voice was a bit
-husky:
-
-"No! It is for the Creator of life to take life, and no other. Hatred
-and strife are disharmony, and bring their own punishment by throwing
-the soul out of unity with the spirit of love which rules the universe."
-
-It sounded stereotyped and emotionless, even in Dr. Beaulieu's own ears,
-as he said it; there was a mocking gleam in the eyes of the other man
-that spoke of a far more vital and genuine emotion. Dr. Beaulieu licked
-his lips and there came a knot in his forehead; beads of perspiration
-stood out upon his brow.
-
-"You were right," said Dr. Beaulieu, "in not striking him down. You were
-right in sparing him."
-
-The bearded man laughed. "I did not say that I spared him," he said.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu looked a question; a question that, perhaps, he dared
-not utter; or at least that he did not care to utter. He had dropped
-completely his rle of spiritual counselor; he regarded his visitor with
-an emotion that might have been horror and might have been terror,
-or might have been a mixture of the two. The visitor replied to the
-unspoken interrogation in the healer's manner.
-
-"I did not strike him down. Neither did I spare him. I waited and I--I
-used him. I know how to wait; I am of the nature that can wait. It was
-years before fate drew all things together for my purpose, and gave him
-into my hands--fate, assisted by myself.
-
-"I waited, and I used him. The details are not pertinent for it is not
-his story that I am telling. I piloted him to the brink of destruction,
-and then--then, I saved him."
-
-"You saved him?" Dr. Beaulieu was puzzled; but his fear, if fear it was,
-had not abated. There was a frank menace, now, in his visitor's air. And
-the healer seemed to be struggling, as he listened to the tale, to force
-some reluctant brain-cell to unlock and give its stored memories to his
-conscious mind.
-
-"I saved him. I saved him to be my creature. I broke him, and I saved
-him. I made him my slave, my dog, my--my anything I choose to have him.
-I have work for him to do."
-
-Again the man paused, looking about the rich profusion of Dr. Beaulieu's
-studio. There was a table in the room which contained a number of curios
-from Eastern lands. The visitor suddenly rose from his chair and picked
-from among them a thin, keen-bladed dagger. It was a beautiful weapon,
-of some Oriental make; beautiful in its lines; beautiful with the sullen
-fire of many jewels blazing in its hilt--an evil levin that got into the
-mind and led the thoughts astray even as the dainty deadliness of
-the whole tool seduced the hand to grasp and strike. As his visitor,
-strangely breaking the flow of his narrative, examined and handled the
-thing, Dr. Beaulieu shuddered.
-
-"The man is as much my tool," said the visitor slowly, "as this dagger
-would be your tool, Dr. Beaulieu, if you chose to thrust it into my
-breast--or into your own."
-
-He laid the dagger down on the table, and resumed his seat. Dr. Beaulieu
-said nothing, but he found it difficult to withdraw his eyes from his
-visitor's steady stare. Slumped and sagged within his chair, he said
-nothing. Presently the visitor went on.
-
-"I had a fancy, Dr. Beaulieu; I had a fancy! It suited me to make my
-revenge a less obvious thing than striking down the old friend who had
-betrayed my love and confidence, a less obvious thing than striking down
-the other man--the man whose face was in the locket."
-
-As he spoke he took from his pocket a locket. He opened it, and gazed
-upon the face. The healer half rose from his chair, and then sank back,
-with a hoarse, inarticulate murmur. His face had turned livid, and he
-trembled in every limb. It was evident that the missing scene which he
-had sought before had suddenly been flashed upon the cinema screen of
-his recollection. He remembered, now----
-
-"It was my fancy, Dr. Beaulieu, to make one of them take revenge upon
-the other, that I might thus be revenged upon them both."
-
-He suddenly rose, and forced the locket into the healer's nerveless
-grasp.
-
-"That face--look at it!" he cried, towering over the collapsed figure
-before him.
-
-Compelled by a will stronger than his own, Dr. Beaulieu looked. It
-was the counterfeit presentment of himself within. It fell from his
-trembling fingers and rolled upon the floor. The cultist buried his face
-in his hands.
-
-The other man stepped back and regarded him sardonically for a moment or
-two.
-
-"I should not wonder," he said, "if the man who used to be my best
-friend would pay you a visit before long--perhaps in an hour, perhaps in
-a week, perhaps in a month."
-
-He picked up the dagger again, and toyed with it.
-
-"This thing," he said, impersonally, trying the point upon his finger,
-"is sharp. It would give a quick death, a sure death, an almost painless
-death, if one used it against another man--or against one's self."
-
-And without another word he turned and left the room.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu sat and listened to his retreating footsteps. And, long
-after they had ceased to sound, Dr. Beaulieu still sat and listened.
-Perhaps he was listening for some one to come, now that the bearded
-man had left. He sat and listened, and presently he reached over to the
-table and picked up the dagger that the visitor had laid down with its
-handle toward him. He pressed its point against his finger, as the other
-man had done. It was sharp. It would give, as the fellow had said, "a
-quick death, a sure death, an almost painless death."
-
-And as he whispered these words he was still
-listening--listening--waiting for some one to come----
-
-
-
-
-XI.--The Locked Box
-
-
-
-I
-
-|It was a small, oblong affair, not more than three inches wide or deep,
-by twice that much in length, made of some dark, hard wood; brass bound
-and with brass lock and brass hinges; altogether such a box as a woman
-might choose to keep about her room for any one of a half dozen possible
-uses.
-
-Clarke did not remember that he had ever seen it prior to his
-unexpectedly early return from a western trip of a month's duration.
-He thought he would give his wife a pleasant surprise, so he did not
-telephone the news of his arrival to the house, but went home and
-entered her room unannounced. As he came in his wife hastily slipped
-something into the box, locked it, and put it into one of the drawers
-of her desk. Then she came to meet him, and he would not have thought
-of the matter at all had it not been for just the slightest trace of
-confusion in her manner.
-
-She was glad to see him. She always was after his absences, but it
-seemed to him that she was exceptionally so this time. She had never
-been a demonstrative woman; but it seemed to Clarke that she came nearer
-that description on the occasion of this home-coming than ever before.
-They had a deal to say to each other, and it was not until after dinner
-that the picture of his wife hurriedly disposing of the box crossed
-Clarke's consciousness again. Even then he mentioned it casually because
-they were talked out of more important topics rather than because of any
-very sharp curiosity. He asked her what it was; what was in it.
-
-"Oh, nothing!--nothing of any importance--nothing at all," she said;
-and moved over to the piano and began one of his favorite airs. And he
-forgot the box again in an instant. She had always been able to make
-Clarke forget things, when she wanted to. But the next day it suddenly
-came to him, out of that nowhere-in-particular from which thoughts come
-to mortals, that she had been almost as much confused at his sudden
-question as she had at his previous sudden entrance.
-
-Clarke was not a suspicious person; not even a very curious one, as a
-rule. But it was so evident to him that there was something in that
-box which his wife did not wish him to see that he could not help but
-wonder. Always frank with her, and always accustomed to an equal
-candor on her part, it occurred to him that he would ask her again, in
-something more than a casual way, and that she would certainly tell him,
-at the same time clearing up her former hesitation. But no!--why should
-he ask her? That would be to make something out of nothing; this was a
-trifle, and not worth thinking about. But he continued thinking about
-it, nevertheless....
-
-Ah, he had it! What a chump he had been, not to guess it sooner! His
-birthday was only ten days off, and his wife had been planning to
-surprise him with a remembrance of some sort. Of course! That accounted
-for the whole thing.
-
-With this idea in his head, he said nothing more about the box, but
-waited. And when dinner was over and they sat before the fire together,
-on the evening of the anniversary, he still forbore to mention it,
-expecting every moment that the next she would present him with the
-token. But as the evening wore away, with no sign on her part, he
-finally broke an interval of silence with the remark:
-
-"Well, dear, don't keep me guessing any longer! Bring it to me!"
-
-"Guessing? Bring you--what?" And he could see that she was genuinely
-puzzled.
-
-"Why, my birthday present."
-
-"Why, my dear boy! And did you expect one? And I had forgotten!
-Positively forgotten--it _is_ your birthday, isn't it, Dickie! If I had
-only known you _wanted_ one--------" And she came up and kissed him,
-with something like contrition, although his birthday had never been one
-of the sentimental anniversaries which she felt bound to observe with
-gifts.
-
-"Don't feel bad about it--I don't care, you know--really," he said.
-"Only, I thought you had something of the sort in that brass-bound
-box--that was the only reason I mentioned it."
-
-"Brass-bound box--why, no, I--I forgot it. I'm ashamed of myself, but I
-forgot the date entirely!"
-
-But she volunteered no explanation of what the box contained, although
-the opportunity was so good a one.
-
-And Clarke wondered more than ever.
-
-What could it be? The letters of some former sweetheart? Well, all girls
-had sweethearts before they married, he supposed; at least all men did.
-He had had several himself. There was nothing in that. And he would not
-make an ass of himself by saying any more about it.
-
-Only... he could not remember any old sweethearts that he wouldn't have
-told Agnes all about, if she had asked him. He had no secrets from her.
-But she had a secret from him... innocent enough, of course. But still,
-a secret. There was none of those old sweethearts of his whose letters
-he cared to keep after five years of marriage. And there was no... But,
-steady! Where were his reflections leading him? Into something very like
-suspicion? Positively, yes; to the verge of it. Until Agnes got ready to
-tell him all about it, he would forget that damned box!
-
-And if she never got ready, why, that was all right, too. She was his
-wife, and he loved her... and that settled it.
-
-Perhaps that should have settled it, but it did not. Certain
-healthy-looking, fleshy specimens of humanity are said to succumb the
-quickest to pneumonia, and it may be that the most ingenuous natures
-suffer the most intensely with suspicion, when once thoroughly
-inoculated.
-
-
-
-II
-
-|Clarke fought against it, cursing his own baseness. But the very effort
-necessary to the fight showed him the persistence of the thing itself.
-He loved his wife, and trusted her, he told himself over and over again,
-and in all their relations hitherto there had never been the slightest
-deviation from mutual confidence and understanding. What did he suspect?
-He could not have told himself. He went over their life together in his
-mind. In the five years of their married life, he could not have helped
-but notice that men were attracted to her. Of course they were. That was
-natural. She was a charming woman. He quite approved of it; it reflected
-credit upon him, in a way. He was not a Bluebeard of a husband, to lock
-a wife up and deny her the society proper to her years. And her
-very catholicity of taste, the perfect frankness of her enjoyment of
-masculine attention, had but served to make his confidence all the more
-complete. True, he had never thought she loved him as much as he loved
-her... but now that he came to think of it, was there not a warmer
-quality to her affection since his return from this last trip west? Was
-there not a kind of thoughtfulness, was there not a watchful increase in
-attentiveness, that he had always missed before? Was she not making love
-to him every day now; just as he had always made love to her before?
-Were not the parts which they had played for the five years of their
-married life suddenly reversed? They were! Indeed they were! And what
-did that mean? What did that portend? Did the brass-bound box have aught
-to do with that? What was the explanation of this change?
-
-The subtle imp of suspicion turned this matter of the exchanged rles
-into capital. Clarke, still ashamed of himself for doing it, began
-covertly to watch his wife; to set traps of various kinds for her. He
-said nothing more about the box, but within six months after the first
-day upon which he had seen it, it became the constant companion of his
-thoughts.
-
-_What_ did he suspect? Not even now could he have said. He suspected
-nothing definite; vaguely, he suspected anything and everything. If
-his wife noticed his changed manner towards her, she made no sign.
-If anything, her efforts to please him, her attentiveness, her
-thoughtfulness in small things, increased.
-
-
-
-III
-
-|There came a day when he could stand this self-torture no longer,
-he thought. He came home from his office--Clarke was a partner in a
-prosperous real-estate concern--at an hour when he thought his wife not
-yet returned from an afternoon of call making, determined to end the
-matter once for all.
-
-He went to her room, found the key to her desk, and opened the drawer.
-He found the box, but It was locked, and he began rummaging through the
-drawers, and among the papers and letters therein, for the key.
-
-Perhaps she carried it with her. Very well, then, he would break it
-open! With the thing in his hand he began to look around for something
-with which to force the fastenings, and was about deciding that he would
-take it down to the basement, and use the hatchet, when he heard a step.
-He turned, just as his wife entered the room.
-
-Her glance traveled from the box in his hand to the ransacked desk, and
-rested there inquiringly for a moment. Strangely enough, in view of the
-fact that he felt himself an injured husband and well within his rights,
-it was Clarke who became confused, apologetic, and evasive under her
-gaze. He essayed a clumsy lie:
-
-"Agnes," he began, indicating the desk, "I--I got a bill to-day from
-Meigs and Horner, for those furs, you know--I was sure that the
-account had been settled--that you had paid them, and had shown me the
-receipt--that you had paid them from your allowance, you know--and I
-thought I would come home and look up the receipt."
-
-It was very lame; and very lamely done, at that, as he felt even while
-he was doing it. But it gave him an opportunity of setting the box down
-on the desk almost in a casual manner, as if he had picked it up quite
-casually, while he began to tumble the papers again with his hands.
-
-"The receipt is here," she said; and got it for him.
-
-The box lay between them, but they did not look at it, nor at each
-other, and they both trembled with agitation.
-
-Each knew that the thoughts of the other were on nothing except that
-little locked receptacle of wood and brass, yet neither one referred
-to it; and for a full half minute they stood with averted faces, and
-fumbling hands, and played out the deception.
-
-Finally she looked full at him, and drew a long breath, as if the
-story were coming now; and there was in her manner a quality of
-softness--almost of sentimentality, Clarke felt. She was getting ready
-to try and melt him into a kind of sympathy for her frailty, was she!
-Well, that would not work with him! And with the receipted bill waving
-in his hand, he made it the text of a lecture on extravagance, into
-which he plunged with vehemence.
-
-Why did he not let her speak? He would not admit the real reason to
-himself, just then. But in his heart he was afraid to have her go on.
-Afraid, either way it turned. If she were innocent of any wrong, he
-would have made an ass of himself--and much worse than an ass. If she
-were guilty, she might melt him into a weak forgiveness in spite of
-her guilt! No, she must not speak... not now! If she were innocent, how
-could he confess his suspicions to her and acknowledge his baseness? And
-besides... women were so damned clever... whatever was in that box, she
-might fool him about it, somehow!
-
-And then, "Good God!" he thought, "I have got to the place where I hug
-my suspicion to me as a dearer thing than my love, have I? Have I got so
-low as that?"
-
-While these thoughts raced and rioted through his mind, his lips
-were feverishly pouring out torrents in denunciation of feminine
-extravagance. Even as he spoke he felt the black injustice of his
-speech, for he had always encouraged his wife, rather than otherwise, in
-the expenditure of money; his income was a good one; and the very furs
-which formed the text of his harangue he had helped her select and even
-urged upon her.
-
-It was their first quarrel, if that can be called a quarrel which has
-only one side to it. For she listened in silence, with white lips
-and hurt eyes, and a face that was soon set into a semblance of hard
-indifference. He stormed out of the room, ashamed of himself, and
-feeling that he had disgraced the name of civilization.
-
-
-
-IV
-
-|Ashamed of himself, indeed; but before the angel of contrition could
-take full possession of his nature, the devil of suspicion, the imp of
-the box, regained its place.
-
-For why had she not answered him? She knew he cared nothing about the
-trivial bill, the matter of the furs, he told himself. Why had she not
-insisted on a hearing, and told him about the box? She knew as well as
-he that that was what he had broken into her desk to get!
-
-Justice whispered that she had been about to speak, and that he had
-denied her the chance. But the imp of the box said that an honest woman
-would have _demanded_ the chance--would have persisted until she got it!
-And thus, his very shame, and anger at himself, were cunningly turned
-and twisted by the genius of the brass-bound box into a confirmation of
-his suspicions.
-
-V
-
-|Suspicions? Nay, convictions! Beliefs. Certainties!
-
-They were certainties, now! Certainties to Clarke's mind, at least. For
-in a month after this episode he had become a silent monomaniac on the
-subject of the brass-bound box. He felt shame no longer. She was guilty.
-Of just what, he did not know. But guilty. Guilty as Hell itself, he
-told himself, rhetorically, in one of the dumb rages which now became so
-frequent with him.
-
-_Guilty--guilty--guilty_--the clock on the mantelpiece ticked off many
-dragging hours of intolerable minutes to that tune, while Clarke lay
-awake and listened. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--repeat any word often
-enough, and it will hypnotize you. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--so he and
-the clock would talk to each other, back and forth, the whole night
-through. If any suggestions of his former, more normal habits of thought
-came to him now it was they that were laughed out of court; it was they
-that were flung away and scorned as traitors.
-
-She was guilty. But he would be crafty! He would be cunning. He would
-make no mistake. He would allow her no subterfuge. He would give her no
-chance to snare him back into a condition of half belief. There should
-be no juggling explanations. They were clever as the devil, women were!
-But this one should have no chance to fool him again. She had fooled him
-too long already.
-
-And she kept trying to fool him. Shortly after his outburst over the
-furs, she began again a series of timid advances which would have struck
-him as pathetic had he not known that her whole nature was corroded and
-corrupted with deceit, with abominable deceit. She was trying to make
-him believe that she did not know why he was angry and estranged, was
-she? He would show her! He hated her now, with that restless, burning
-intensity of hatred known only to him who has injured another. A hatred
-that consumed his own vitality, and made him sick in soul and body. The
-little sleep he got was passed in uneasy dreams of his revenge; and his
-waking hours were devoted to plots and plans of the form which it should
-take. Oh, but she had been cunning to fool him for so long; but she
-should see! She should see! When the time for action came, she should
-see!
-
-
-
-VI
-
-|Something, one tense and feverish midnight, when he lay in his bed
-snarling and brooding and chuckling--a kind of snapping sense in some
-remote interior chamber of his brain, followed by a nervous shock that
-made him sit upright--warned him that the time for action was at hand.
-What is it that makes sinners, at provincial revival meetings, suddenly
-aware that the hours of dalliance are past and the great instant that
-shall send them to "the mourners' bench" is at hand? Somehow, they seem
-to know! And, somehow, Clarke felt an occult touch and knew that his
-time for action had arrived.
-
-He did not care what came afterwards. Any jury in the world, so he told
-himself, ought to acquit him of his deed, when they once knew his story;
-when they once looked at the damning evidence of her guilt which she
-had hidden away for so long in the brass-bound box. But if they did not
-acquit him, that was all right, too. His work in the world would have
-been done; he would have punished a guilty woman. He would have shown
-that all men are not fools.
-
-But he did not spend a great deal of thought on how other people would
-regard what he was about to do. As he crept down the hall with the knife
-in his hand, his chief sensation was a premonitory itch, a salty tang
-of pleasure in the doing of the deed itself. When hatred comes in where
-love has gone out, there may be a kind of voluptuary delight in the act
-of murder.
-
-Very carefully he opened the door of her room. And then he smiled to
-himself, and entered noisily; for what was the need of being careful
-about waking up a woman who was already dead? He did not care whether he
-killed her in her sleep or not;--indeed, if she wakened and begged for
-her life, he thought it might add a certain zest to the business. He
-should enjoy hearing her plead. He would not mind prolonging things.
-
-But things were not prolonged. His hand and the muscles of his forearm
-had tensed so often with the thought, with the idea, that the first blow
-went home. She never waked.
-
-
-
-VII
-
-|He got the box, and opened it.
-
-Inside was a long envelope, and written on that were the words:
-
-"To be opened by my husband only after my death."
-
-That time had come!
-
-Within the envelope was a letter. It was dated on the day of his return
-from his western trip, a few months before. He read:
-
-"Dick, I love you!
-
-"Does it seem strange to you that I should write it down?
-
-"Listen, Dickie dear--I _had_ to write it! I couldn't tell you when I
-was alive--but I just had to tell you, too. And now that I am dead, what
-I say will come to you with all of its sweetness increased; and all
-of its bitterness left out! It will, now that I am dead--or if you die
-first, you will never see this. This is from beyond the grave to you,
-Dickie dear, to make all your life good to you afterwards!
-
-"Now, listen, dear, and don't be hard on me.
-
-"When I married you, Dickie, I _didn't_ love you! You were wild about
-me. But I only _liked_ you very much. It wasn't really love. It wasn't
-what you _deserved_. But I was only a girl, and you were the first man,
-and I didn't know things; I didn't know what I _should have_ felt.
-
-"Later, when I realized how very much you cared, I was ashamed of
-myself. I grew to see that I had done wrong in marrying you. Wrong to
-both of us. For no woman should marry a man she doesn't love. And I was
-ashamed, and worried about it. You were so good to me! So sweet--and you
-never suspected that I didn't care like I should. And because you were
-so good and sweet to me, I felt _worse_. And I made up my mind you
-should _never_ know! That I would be everything to you any woman could
-be. I tried to be a good wife. Wasn't I, Dickie, even then?
-
-"But I prayed and prayed and prayed. 'O God,' I used to say, 'let me
-love him like he loves me!' It was five years, Dickie, and I _liked_ you
-more, and _admired_ you more, and saw more in you that was worth while,
-every week; but still, no miracle happened.
-
-"And then one morning _a miracle did happen!_
-
-"It was when you were on that trip West. I had gone to bed thinking how
-kind and dear you were. I missed you, Dickie dear, and _needed_ you. And
-when I woke up, there was a change over the world. I felt so different,
-somehow. It had come! Wasn't it wonderful, Dickie?--it had come! And I
-sang all that day for joy. I could hardly wait for you to come home so
-that I could tell you. I loved you, loved you, loved you, Dickie, _as
-you deserved!_ My prayers had been answered, somehow--or maybe it was
-what any woman would do just living near you and being with you.
-
-"And then I saw _I couldn't tell you, after all!_
-
-"For if I told you I loved you now, that would be to tell you that for
-five years _I hadn't loved you_, Dickie!
-
-"And how would _that_ make you feel? Wouldn't that have been like a
-knife, Dickie?
-
-"Oh, I wanted you to know! _How_ I wanted you to know! But, you see, I
-couldn't tell you, could I, dear, without telling the other, too? I just
-_had_ to save you from that! And I just had to make you feel it, somehow
-or other. And I _will_ make you feel it, Dickie!
-
-"But I can't tell you. Who knows what ideas you might get into your head
-about those five years, if I told you now? Men are so queer, and they
-can be so stupid sometimes! And I can't bear to think of losing one
-smallest bit of your love... not now! It would _kill_ me!
-
-"But I want you to know, sometime. And so I'm writing you--it's my first
-love letter--the first real one, Dickie. If _you_ die first, I'll tell
-you in Heaven. And if _I_ die first, you'll understand!
-
-"Agnes."
-
-
-
-
-XII.--Behind the Curtain
-
-|It was as dark as the belly of the fish that swallowed Jonah. A
-drizzling rain blanketed the earth in chill discomfort. As I splashed
-and struggled along the country road, now in the beaten path, and now
-among the wet weeds by its side, I had never more heartily yearned
-for the dullness and comforts of respectability. Here was I with more
-talents in my quiver, it pleased me to think, than nine out of ten of
-the burghers I had left sleeping snug and smug in the town a few miles
-behind; with as much real love of humanity as the next man, too; and yet
-shivering and cursing my way into another situation that might well mean
-my death. And all for what? For fame or riches? No, for little more than
-a mere existence, albeit free from responsibility. Indeed, I was all but
-ready to become an honest man then and there, to turn back and give
-up the night's adventure, had but my imagination furnished me with the
-picture of some occupation whereby I might gain the same leisure and
-independence as by what your precisians call thieving.
-
-With the thought I stumbled off the road again, and into a narrow gully
-that splashed me to the knees with muddy water. Out of that, I walked
-plump into a hedge, and when I sought to turn from it at right angles, I
-found myself still following its line. This circumstance showed me that
-I was come unaware upon the sharp turn of the road which marked the
-whereabouts of the house that was my object. Following the hedge, I
-found the entrance to the graveled driveway within a hundred yards of
-my last misstep, and entered the grounds. I groped about me for a space,
-not daring to show a light, until presently a blacker bulk, lifting
-itself out of the night's comprehensive blackness, indicated the
-house itself, to my left and a bit in front of me. I left the moist
-gravel--for there is nothing to be gained on an expedition of this
-sort by advertising the size and shape of your boots to a morbidly
-inquisitive public--and reached the shelter of the veranda by walking
-across the lawn.
-
-There, being out of eyeshot from the upper windows, I risked a gleam
-from my pocket lantern, one of those little electric affairs that are
-occasionally useful to others than night watchmen. Two long French
-windows gave on the veranda; and, as I knew, both of them opened from
-the reception hall. A bit of a way with the women is not amiss in my
-profession; and the little grayeyed Irish maid, who had told me three
-weeks before of old man Rolfe's stinginess and brutality towards the
-young wife whom he had cooped up here for the past four years, had also
-given me, bit by bit, other information more valuable than she could
-guess. So, thanks to the maid, I was aware that the safe where the Rolfe
-jewels were kept--and often a substantial bit of money as well--was
-situated in the library; which was just beyond the hall and connected
-with it by a flight of four or five steps. This safe was my objective
-point.
-
-The wooden window shutters were but the work of a moment; and the window
-fastenings themselves of only a few minutes more. (I flatter myself that
-I have a very coaxing way with window fasteners.) The safe itself would
-give me the devil's own trouble, I knew. It was really a job for two
-men, and I ached all over to be at it, to be safely through with it, and
-away, a good hour before sunrise.
-
-The window opened noiselessly enough, and I stepped within and set my
-little satchel full of necessary tools upon the floor. But the damp
-weather had swelled the woodwork, and as I closed the window again,
-though I pushed it ever so gently, it gave forth a noise something
-between a grunt and a squeak.
-
-And as pat as the report of a pistol to the pressure of the trigger came
-the answer--a sound of a quickly-caught breath from the warm dimness of
-the room. I made no motion; though the blood drummed desperately through
-my brain and my scalp tingled with apprehension and excitement.
-
-For ten, for twenty, for thirty seconds I stood so; and then the silence
-was broken by the unmistakable rustle of a woman's skirts. The sound
-came softly towards me through the darkness. It was my turn to let loose
-my held breath with a gasp, and in another moment I should have been
-through the window and running for it; when a woman's whisper halted me.
-
-"Is that you, Charles? And why did you not rap upon the shutter?"
-
-So some one called Charles was expected? Then, ticked off my thoughts
-almost automatically, the lady somewhere near me in the dark might have
-her own reasons for not caring to alarm the house just then! The thought
-steadied me to action.
-
-"Shh," I whispered, feeling behind me for the window, and gradually
-opening it again. "S-h-h! No, it is not Charles"--and I put one foot
-backward across the sill. "It is not Charles, but Charles has sent me to
-say----"
-
-Click!--went something by the window, and the room was flooded with
-sudden brilliance from a dozen electric globes. And again, click!--and
-I looked with blinking eyes at the muzzle of a cocked pistol held by the
-most beautiful, the most be-jeweled, the most determined-looking young
-woman it has ever been my lot to meet.
-
-"Who are you?" she asked in a voice that was at once hoarse and sweet.
-"Who are you? And what do you want? And where is Charles?"
-
-As I stood there dripping moisture upon the oiled floor, with my hands
-in the air--they had gone up quite involuntarily--I must have been the
-very picture of idiocy and discomfiture. I wondered if Charles, whoever
-the devil Charles might be, was always welcomed with a cocked pistol.
-Probably not; but, I wondered, how did she happen to have a pistol with
-her? I wondered why neck, breast, hair, arms, and hands should be ablaze
-with the diamonds that accentuated her lithe and vivid loveliness. I
-wondered why, now that she saw I was not Charles, she did not alarm the
-house. I wondered everything; but nothing to the point. And as I stood
-wondering she repeated:
-
-"Who are you? And what do you want?"
-
-"Madame," I stammered, my jarred brain fastening upon the sentence she
-had interrupted, "Charles sent me to--to say to you----"
-
-"Charles who?" she asked. And as tense as was her face, a gleam of
-merriment shot through her eyes. "Charles who?" she repeated.
-
-Charles was not one of the points upon which the Irish maid had given me
-information.
-
-The lady with the pistol considered for a moment. "You are not very
-clever, are you?" she said.
-
-"If you will pardon me," I said, "I think I had better be going. I seem
-to have mistaken the house."
-
-"You at least seem to have mistaken the proper manner in which to enter
-it," she returned.
-
-"Why, as to the mode of entrance," I said, "I might plead that the
-mistake appears to have been less in that than in the person who
-employed it."
-
-I could not resist the retort. A dull red crept slowly up her neck and
-face; a pallid, olive-tinted face, beautiful in itself, beautiful for
-its oval contour and broad brow, and frame of black hair; beautiful in
-itself, and yet dominated and outdone by the lustrous, restless beauty
-of the dark eyes wherewith she held me more surely captive than by
-virtue of the pistol.
-
-"You will come in," she said, "and sit there." She indicated a seat
-beside a central table. "But first you will kindly let me have whatever
-weapons you may possess." She took my revolver, examined it, and put her
-own in the breast of her gown. "Now you may put your hands down," she
-said, "your arms must ache by now. Sit down."
-
-I sat. She stood and looked at me for a moment.
-
-"I am wondering what you are going to do with me," I ventured.
-
-In all of her quick actions, and in the tones of her voice, there was
-evident a most unnatural sort of strain. She may well have been excited;
-that was only to be expected in the circumstances. But the repressed
-excitement in this woman's manner was not that of a woman who is forcing
-herself to keep her courage up; not that of a woman who would like to
-scream; but a steadier nervous energy which seemed to burn in her like a
-fire, to escape from her finger tips, and almost to crackle in her
-hair; an intensity that was vibrant. I marveled. Most women would have
-screamed at the advent of a man in the dead of night; screamed and
-fainted. Or the ones who would not, and who were armed as she, would
-ordinarily have been inclined to shoot, and at once; or immediately to
-have given the alarm. She had done none of these things. She had merely
-taken me captive. She had set me down in a chair at the center of the
-room. She had not roused the house. And now she stood looking at me with
-a trace of abstraction in her manner; looking at me, for the moment,
-less as if I were a human being than as if I were a factor in some
-mathematical problem which it was the immediate task of that active,
-high-keyed brain of hers to solve. And there was a measure of irony in
-her glance, as if she alone tasted and enjoyed some ulterior jest.
-
-"I am wondering," I repeated, "what you are going to do with me."
-
-She sat down at the opposite side of the table before she replied.
-
-"I believe," she said slowly, "that I have nearly made up my mind what
-to do with you."
-
-"Well?" I asked.
-
-But she said nothing, and continued to say nothing. I looked at her and
-her diamonds--the diamonds I had come after!--and wondered again why she
-was wearing them; wondered why she had tricked herself out as for
-some grand entertainment. And as the ignominious result of my night's
-expedition pressed more sharply against my pride I could have strangled
-her through sheer disappointment and mortification. The pistol she held
-was the answer to that impulse. But what was the answer to her hesitancy
-in alarming the house? Why did she not give me up and be done with me?
-
-At the farther end of the room was a long red curtain, which covered the
-entrance to a sitting-room or parlor, as I guessed; and by the side
-of the curtain hung an old-fashioned bell cord, also of red, which
-I supposed to communicate with the servants' quarters. It were easy
-enough, now that she had taken the whip hand of me so cleverly, to pull
-that rope, to set the bell jangling, to rouse the house. Why did she not
-do so?
-
-Was she a mad woman? There was that in her inexplicable conduct, and in
-her highly-wrought, yet governed, mood, as she sat in brooding silence
-across the table from me, to make the theory plausible. Brooding she
-was, and studying me, I thought; yet watchful, too. For at any least
-motion of mine her hand tightened slightly upon the pistol. We sat
-thus while the slow seconds lengthened into intolerable minutes; and I
-steamed with sweat, and fidgeted. Nor was I set more at my ease by her
-long searching glances. In fact, my overthrow had been so instant and
-so complete that my scattered wits had never drawn themselves together
-again; I continued as one in a haze; as a person half under the power
-of the hypnotist; as a mouse must feel after the first blow of the cat's
-paw. And yet one idea began to loom clearly out of that haze and possess
-me--the idea that she desired the alarm to be given as little as I did
-myself.
-
-But there was no light in that. It was easy to understand why she
-did not wish the house aroused while she still believed me to be
-Charles--whoever Charles might be. But now?--it was too much for me.
-I could not find a justification in reason for my belief; and yet the
-conviction grew.
-
-She broke the silence with a question that might have been put with full
-knowledge of my thought.
-
-"You are still wondering why I do not give you up?" she said.
-
-I nodded. She leaned towards me across the table, and if ever the demons
-of mockery danced through a woman's eyes it was then; and her lips
-parted in a kind of silent laughter.
-
-She touched the diamonds about her throat.
-
-"It was these you came after?"
-
-I nodded again. Evidently speech was of no avail with this lady. She
-asked questions at her will, and reserved the right of answering none.
-
-"Tell me," she said, "Why are you a thief? Why do you steal?"
-
-"'Convey, the wise it call,'" I quoted. "Accident, or fate, or destiny,
-I suppose," I went on, wondering more than ever at the question, but
-with a fluttering hope. Perhaps the lady (in spite of Charles--such
-things have been!) was an amateur sociologist, a crank reformer, or
-something of that sort. There had been no mockery in her tone when
-she asked the question; instead, I thought, a kind of pity. "Fate,
-or destiny," I went on, "or what you please, 'There is a destiny that
-shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will,'" I quoted again, in my
-best actor manner.
-
-"Why," she said, "you are a man with some air of better things about
-you. You quote Shakespeare as if he were an old friend. And yet, you are
-a thief! Tell me," she continued, "tell me--I dare say there were many
-struggles against that destiny?" There was a note almost of eagerness
-in her voice, as if she were a leniently-inclined judge who would fain
-search out and put in the mouth of a condemned man some plausible plea
-for the exercise of clemency. "Come--were there not?--I dare say there
-were--circumstances of uncommon bitterness that forced you to become
-what I see you? And even now you hate the thing you are?"
-
-"Why, as to that," I said, possessed of the sudden whim to be honest
-with myself for once, "I am afraid that I can complain of no bitterer
-usage at the hands of the world than can the majority of those who reap
-where they have not sowed. When I think of it all, I am used to putting
-it to myself that my life is devoted to a kind of private warfare
-against the unjust conditions of a hypocritical social order."
-
-"Warfare!" she flouted, hard and brilliant as one of her own diamonds
-again. "And you could justify it, too, could you not?"
-
-And then she asked me: "Have you ever killed a man?"
-
-"Why, no," said I, "but I have tried to."
-
-"He lived?--and you were sorry that he lived?"
-
-"No," I said, quite out of my depths in all this moral quibbling, "I was
-glad he lived."
-
-"And yet you hated him?"
-
-"I would have taken his life in a rage," I said. "He had wronged me as
-greatly as one man can wrong another."
-
-"And yet you were glad he lived? My dear thief----"
-
-"Higgins is the name," said I. "You may call me Higgins."
-
-"My dear Higgins," she went on, "you are inconsistent. You attempt to
-slay a man in what I should judge to have been a not ignoble passion.
-It may have been an anger that did you credit. And yet you are not
-bold enough to face the thought of killing him. You are glib with
-justifications of your thievery; and perhaps that is also because you
-are too much of a coward to look steadily at it. You creep along a mean
-and despicable path in life, contentedly, it seems to me, with a dead
-soul. You are what you are because there is nothing positive in you for
-either good or evil. You are negative; you were better dead. Yes, better
-dead!"
-
-Why should I have felt as if she were seeking self-justification in
-advance for some death she planned for me? Certainly, my life, or death,
-was not hers to give or take; she might give me up, and probably would.
-But just as certainly she had made me feel, as she passed her judgment
-upon me, that she was likely to turn executioner as well as judge. My
-doubts as to her sanity returned.
-
-"Still," I said, for the sake of saying something, "if I killed a man, I
-should not like to think about it, even if he deserved death."
-
-"Even if he deserved death?" she repeated, and sprang up, as if the
-phrase had touched her. "You make yourself the judge, you do, of when
-a man 'deserves' to lose his wealth. Come, what is your idea of when he
-deserves to die?"
-
-Up and down the room she swept; yet still watchful. And the emotion
-which she had so long suppressed burst out into a poisonous lovely bloom
-that suffused her being with an awful beauty.
-
-"When does he deserve to die?" she repeated. "Listen to me. I knew
-a woman once--no matter where--no matter when--who was sold--sold! I
-say--by the sordid devil she called her father, to the veriest beast
-that ever trod this earth. Her beauty--for she had beauty--her wit--for
-wit she had--became this husband's chattels before she turned her
-twentieth year. She would never have loved him, but she would have been
-faithful to him--she was faithful to him, in fact, in spite of all his
-drunkenness and bestiality--and abuse! It was not neglect alone that she
-had to complain of--she had never looked for understanding or sympathy.
-But she had not looked for abuse. Abuse, I say, and worse than abuse.
-Before she had been married a year she knew what it was, not only to
-feel the weight of a heavy hand and to hide the bruises from her maid,
-but to see other women brought into her very house. Pah!--hate? She
-hated him? Hate is not the word. She became a live coal. But she never
-cried out; she found strength to smile at him even when he beat her; she
-was proud enough for that. It pleased him, in his hellish humor, and
-because she was made to shine, to cage her in a country house, and there
-to taunt her that although she was sold to him she got little of what
-money may buy. And still she smiled at him, and still her hatred grew
-through all the weeks and months until it filled her whole being. And
-then--love came. For God has ordained that love may enter even Hell.
-Love, I say; and she loved this lover of hers with a passion that was
-measured only by the degree in which she hated her husband. And she
-would have left with him; but on the very night they would have flown
-together her lord and master-----"
-
-She said the words with an indescribable spluttering sneer, sidewise
-from her mouth. It is so a lioness may snarl and spit before she leaps.
-
-"Her--lord and master--found it out, and waited up to catch them; and
-coming upon her alone, taunted her. Taunted her, and struck her----"
-
-"Look!" she cried, and tore the diamonds from her breast, and rent the
-laces, and wrenched the fastenings apart. A new red weal that seemed to
-throb and pulse with her respiration stood out from the whiteness of her
-bosom.
-
-"Tell me," she whispered hoarsely, "would it have been murder if she had
-killed that man? Which were the more courageous thing--to kill him, or
-to step back into her living hell? If she had killed him, would she have
-regretted it?"
-
-I know not what I might have answered; but at that instant three raps
-sounded distinctly upon the window-shutter. I leaped to my feet. Then
-Charles had come!
-
-An instant she stood as if stricken to a statue in mid-rage.
-
-And then she cried out, and there was a furious triumph in her voice--a
-kind of joy that matched itself to, and blended with, the fierce and
-reckless beauty of her shaken jewels, possessed her.
-
-"Charles," she cried, "come in! Come in!"
-
-Slowly the window opened and a man entered. He drew back in amaze at the
-sight of me, and turned to her with an air that was all one question.
-
-"I thought you would never come," she said.
-
-He was a big blond man, and as he turned from the one to the other of
-us, with his helpless, inquiring face, and eyes that blinked from the
-outer darkness, he looked oddly like a sleepy schoolboy who has been
-awakened from an afternoon nap by the teacher's ruler.
-
-"Katherine," he finally stammered, "what is this? Who is this man?" He
-passed his hand across his forehead as one may do who doubts whether or
-not he dreams; and walked towards the table.
-
-"Charles," she said, "I have shot the old man." I have seen a beef
-stricken on the head with a mallet look at its executioner with big eyes
-for an instant before the quivering in its limbs set in and it sank to
-the ground. So this Charles looked with wide, stupid eyes, and shivered,
-and dropped the great bulk of him into a chair. His head sank upon his
-hand. But finally he looked up, and spoke in a confused voice, as if
-through a mist. "Good God, Katherine, what do you mean?"
-
-"I mean," she said, framing the words slowly, as one speaks a lesson to
-a child, "I mean that I have killed the old man."
-
-And moving swiftly across the room she flung back the heavy red curtain
-at the end of it; and I saw the answer to my many questionings.
-
-The body lay upon its back, with one arm bent, the hand across the
-chest, and the fingers spread wide. The face was that of a man of sixty
-or thereabouts, but, indeed, so deeply lined and wrinkled and pouched
-with evil living that the age even in life must have been hard to
-determine. Blood was coagulating about a bullet wound in the temple,
-and there were powder burns on the forehead. The shot had been fired at
-close range, evidently from the weapon with which I had been confronted
-on my entrance; and the sound had been so muffled in the curtain that it
-was little wonder that the servants in the rooms above, and across the
-house, had not heard it. He had a monstrous nose, that man upon the
-floor, and it must have been a red nose in life; but now it was of a
-bluish-white color, like the skin of an old and scrawny fowl. That, and
-the thin, drawn-up legs, and the big flabby paunch of the thing, robbed
-the sight, for me, of all the solemnity which (we are taught) exudes
-from the presence of death. It made me sick; and yet I cackled with
-sheer hysteria, too; or rather my strained nerves jarred and laughed, if
-not myself. It was too damned grotesque.
-
-Herself, she did not look at it. She looked at the man called Charles;
-and he, with a shudder, lifted his slow gaze from the thing behind the
-curtain to her face.
-
-She was the first to speak, and the terrible joy with which she had bade
-Charles to enter still dominated her accents.
-
-"Don't you understand, Charles? This man," and she indicated me with the
-pistol, "this man takes the blame of this. He is a thief. He came just
-after--just afterwards. And I held him for your coming. Don't you see?
-Don't you see? His presence clears us of this deed!"
-
-"_Us?_" queried Charles.
-
-"Not _us?_" she asked.
-
-"My God, Katherine," he burst forth, "why did you do this thing? And
-you would heap murder on murder! Why, why, why did you do it? Why splash
-this blood upon our love? A useless thing to do! We might have--we might
-have------"
-
-He broke down and sobbed. And then: "God knows the old man never did me
-any harm," he said. "And she'd accuse the thief, too!" he cried a moment
-later, with a kind of wondering horror.
-
-"Listen, Charles," she said, and moved towards him; and yet with a
-sidelong glance she still took heed of me. "Listen, and understand
-me. We must act quickly--but after it happened it was necessary that I
-should see you before we could act. This man came to rob; here is his
-pistol, and in that satchel by the window are his tools, no doubt. He
-may tell what wild tale he will; but who will believe him? You go as you
-came; I give him up--and we--we wait awhile, and then the rest of life
-is ours."
-
-I suppose that it is given to few men to hear their death plotted in
-their presence. But I had come to the pass by this time where it struck
-me as an impersonal thing. I listened; but somehow the full sense of
-what she said, as affecting me, did not then impinge upon my brain with
-waking force. I stood as if in a trance; I stood and looked on at those
-two contending personalities, that were concerned just now with the
-question of my life or death, as if I were a spectator in a theater--as
-if it were someone else of whom they spoke.
-
-"Go," she cried to Charles again, "and I will give him up."
-
-"Katherine," he said, "and you would do this thing?"
-
-"Why?" she retorted, "what is this man's life beside mine? His soul is
-dead! I tell you, Charles, that I have come through Hell alive to gain
-one ray of happiness! But go!--and leave the rest to me."
-
-And she grasped the bell cord and pulled it. Pulled it again and again.
-The sound wandered crazily through what remote corridors I know not.
-
-She made a step towards him. He leaped to his feet with an oath, with
-loathing in his eyes, shrank back from her, and held out a hand as if to
-ward off some unclean thing.
-
-Bewilderment lined her face. She groped to understand. And then, as the
-full significance of his gesture came home to her, she winced and swayed
-as if from a blow; and the pistol dropped from her loosened grasp to the
-floor.
-
-"You--you abandon me?" she said slowly. "You desert me, then? Love,
-Love, think how I have loved you that I did this thing! And is what I
-have suffered--what I have done--still to purchase--nothing?"
-
-She pleaded for my death; but I hope that I shall never again see on any
-human face the look of despair that was on hers. I pitied her!
-
-Heavy feet on the stairway woke me from my trance. Unregarded of them
-both I grasped my pistol from the floor and sprang for the window. A
-door opened somewhere above, and a voice asked:
-
-"You rang, Ma'am?"
-
-From without the window I looked back into the room. She stood with
-outstretched hands--hands that reached upward from the pit of torment,
-my fancy told me--and pleaded for a little love. "In all this world is
-there no little ray of love for me?"--it was so my imagination rather
-than my hearing translated the slight movement of her lips. And while
-she and the man called Charles stood thus at gaze with one another, the
-servant spoke again from the stairway.
-
-"You rang?" he asked.
-
-She slowly straightened. She steadied herself. And with her eyes still
-fixed upon those of Charles she cried:
-
-"Yes, yes, I rang, Jones! Your master is--dead. Your master's murdered!
-And there, there," and she stabbed an accusing finger at her erstwhile
-lover, "there is the man who murdered him!"
-
-And then I turned from the window and ran from that house; and as I ran
-I saw the Dawn, like a wild, fair woman, walk up the eastern sky with
-blood-stained feet.
-
-
-
-
-XIII.--Words and Thoughts
-
-[A Play in One Act]
-
-Characters:
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Maid
-
-Period, the present. Place, any American city.
-
-The Scene _represents two drawing rooms, exact duplicates, furnished
-alike to the smallest detail. Either room might be the reflection of the
-other in a mirror. Each occupies half of the stage. The division line
-between them is indicated, towards the hack of the stage, by two pianos,
-which sit hack to back at the center of the hack drop. This division
-is carried by the pianos a quarter or a third of the way towards the
-footlights. The division is further suggested, towards the front of the
-stage, hy a couple of settees or couches, which also sit back to back._
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker _remain all the time in the room at the
-right of the stage. They are not aware of_ John Thinker _and_ Mary
-Thinker, _who are, throughout the play, in the room at the left. The_
-Thinkers, _however, are aware of the_ Speakers.
-
-_In make-up, looks, dress, etc., the two_Johns _are precisely alike.
-The same is true of_ Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker. _The_ Johns _are
-conventional-looking, prosperous Americans of from 38 to 40 years of
-age. The two_ Marys _are a few years younger._
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock _is a dried-up, querulous old woman of seventy._
-
-_The Curtain, on rising, discovers the two_ Johns _and the two_ Marys.
-_It is between 7 and 8 in the evening; they are all in evening dress,
-and are preparing to go out, putting on their gloves, etc., etc._
-
-John Speaker [_Picking up over coat._]
-
-Are you ready, Mary dear?
-
-Mary Speaker [_Holding out a gloved hand._]
-
-Quite, John dear. Button this for me, won't you, love?
-
-John Speaker [_Busy with glove._]
-
-It's been nearly a year, hasn't it, since we've been out together of
-an evening? I'm afraid Cousin Fanny is terribly trying on you at times,
-Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You know, John, I don't consider her a trial. I _love_ Cousin Fanny.
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Busy with Mary Thinker's glove._]
-
-The old cat's letting us off to-night, for a wonder, Mary. She's a
-horrible affliction!
-
-Mary Thinker [_Passionately._]
-
-Affliction is no word. She makes my life a living hell! I hate her!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Helping Mary Speaker on with coat, which action is simultaneously
-imitated hy John and Mary Thinker._]
-
-Well, we must bear with her gently, Mary. I am afraid poor Cousin Fanny
-will not be with us many more years.
-
-John Thinker [_To Mary Thinker._]
-
-One comfort is she'll die before long!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker._]
-
-Oh, John, you don't think Cousin Fanny's going to die, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker._]
-
-Don't fool yourself about her dying soon, John. There's no such luck!
-
-[_Enter Maid through door in right back to John and Mary Speaker,
-who look up. John and Mary Thinker also notice entrance of Maid and
-listen._]
-
-Maid
-
-[_To Mary Speaker._]
-
-Miss Hemlock sent me to inquire whether you were going out to-night.
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker, quickly._]
-
-The old cat's up to something!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To Maid_.]
-
-Yes. We were just starting. Does Miss Hemlock want anything? I will go
-to her if she wishes to speak with me.
-
-Maid
-
-She said, in case you were going out, that I was to tell you _not_ to do
-so.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-_Not_ to do so?
-
-Maid
-
-Yes, ma'am; that's what she said. She said in case you were getting
-ready to go out, you were to change your plans and stop at home.
-
-John Speaker [_To Maid._]
-
-Not to do so? But, surely, there must be some mistake!
-
-[_Maid shakes her head slowly, deliberately, looking fixedly at John
-Speaker; and while she is doing so John Thinker says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-Some malicious idea is working in her head tonight!
-
-Maid
-
-[_To John Speaker._]
-
-No, sir, no mistake. She said very plainly and distinctly that you were
-not to go out tonight.
-
-[_Maid bows and exits._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is not so well to-night, I'm afraid, dear, or she would
-certainly have put her request in some other way.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-If I didn't love Cousin Fanny, John, I would be tempted to believe that
-she deliberately tries at times to annoy us.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is old, and we must remember that she is very fond of us.
-We will have to bear with her.
-
-[_John Speaker takes his top coat and his wife's coat> and lays them on
-a chair, while John Thinker, who has been frowning and brooding, flings
-himself into chair and says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-For cold-blooded, devilish nerve in a man's own house, Cousin Fanny
-certainly takes the cake, Mary!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She gets more spiteful every day. She knows her power, and the more
-childish she gets the more delight she takes in playing tyrant.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Cheer up, it isn't forever! If she doesn't change her will before she
-dies, it means fifteen thousand dollars a year. That's worth a little
-trouble!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-You're away at your office all day. I'm here at home with her. It is I
-who catch all the trouble!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, after all, she's more nearly related to you, Mary, than she is to
-me.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She's my mother's third cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, then, she's my father's fifth cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-What were you thinking of, John, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing, Mary... except that
-
-Cousin Fanny is a poor, lonely old soul, after all.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Poor, lonely old woman, indeed--it's odd, isn't it, that she is related
-to both you and me, John?
-
-John Speaker
-
-She's closer to you than to me, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You couldn't call a fourth or fifth cousin very near, John.
-
-John Speaker
-
-It almost seems as if you were trying to deny the blood tie, Mary!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-No, John, dear, blood is thicker than water.
-
-John Speaker Thicker than water!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Relations are the most unpleasant persons on earth. I hate cousins.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Especially cousins who are also cousins-in-law! John Speaker
-
-But even if she were only _my_ relation, Mary, and not related to _you_
-at all, I know enough of your sweet nature to know that she would always
-be welcome in our home in spite of her little idiosyncrasies.
-
-[_Enter Cousin Fanny, to John and Mary Speaker, through door right hack.
-She coughs as she steps forward, leaning on a cane, and puts her hand to
-her chest, stop-ping. Then as she comes forward, she stumbles. John and
-Mary Speaker leap forward, put their arms behind her, and, supporting
-and leading her, conduct her tenderly down stage to chair at center of
-room they are in. John and Mary Thinker, near together at table in their
-room, lean forward eagerly and watch this entrance, and when the old
-woman stumbles, John Thinker says to Mary Thinker, nudging her:_]
-
-John Thinker
-
-You see?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-See what?
-
-John Thinker
-
-She totters!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She stumbled.
-
-John Thinker
-
-She's getting weaker.
-
-[_Mary Speaker tenderly kisses Cousin Fanny, as Mary Thinker says_:]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Weaker! She'll live to be a hundred and ten!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Not she!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-The mean kind always do!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Tenderly, to Cousin Fanny, arranging cushion behind her._]
-
-Can't I get you a wrap, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Don't you feel a draught, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Bitterly, frowning at other group_.]
-
-No draught will ever harm her!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker, sneeringly; petulantly._] You're mighty anxious
-about a _wrap_, John! But you were thinking of going out and leaving me
-practically alone in the house.
-
-John Speaker [_Deprecatingly._ ]
-
-But, Cousin Fanny----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting_.]
-
-Don't deny it! Don't take the trouble to deny it! Don't lie about it!
-You can't lie to me! Don't I see your evening clothes? And Mary, too!
-Both of you were going out--_both_ of you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, we gave it up when we learned that you wanted us to stop
-at home with you. Didn't we, John?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Querulously, childishly, shrilly._]
-
-Don't deny it, Mary, don't deny it! Don't excuse yourself! I can see you
-were going out! I can see your evening clothes!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-We'll go and change to something else, won't we, John?
-
-[_She is going, as she speaks, but Cousin Fanny cries out_:]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-[_Mary Speaker stops, and Cousin Fanny continues_:]
-
-Don't take them off. I don't want you to take them off. What do you want
-to take them off for? Are they too good for _me_ to see? Are they too
-grand for me to look at? Ain't I as good as any one you'd find if you
-went out? Heh?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, I didn't mean that. I meant----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting._]
-
-I know what you meant! Don't tell me what you meant, Mary. You meant to
-slip out and leave me here alone, both of you. It's lucky I caught you
-in time. It's lucky I have money! It's lucky I don't have to put up with
-the treatment most old folks get. I'd starve, if I were poor! I'd die of
-hunger and neglect!
-
-[_She begins to cry, and Mary Speaker says_:]
-
-Mary Speaker No, no, no, Cousin Fanny!
-
-[_Mary Speaker soothes her, in pantomime, and pets her, trying to take
-her hands away from her face, Cousin Fanny resisting, like a spoiled and
-spiteful child. John Speaker, behind Cousin Fanny and his wife, walks
-up and down, with his eyes on them, running his hand nervously and
-excitedly through his hair. While this pantomime goes on, John and Mary
-Thinker are watching and saying _:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-This is to be one of Cousin Fanny's pleasant evenings!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-This happens a dozen times a day.
-
-John Thinker She's not really crying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Pretence! She works it up to be unpleasant.
-
-John Thinker The old she-devil!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking Cousin Fanny's hand._]
-
-You know, Cousin Fanny, that we try to do our duty by you.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Flinging his hand off._]
-
-You try to do your duty by my money! I know!
-
-I see! You talk of love and duty, but it's my money you want! But I may
-fool you--I may fool you yet. It's not too late to change my will. It's
-not too late to leave it all to charity!
-
-[_She speaks these lines with a cunning leer, and John Thinker, nudging
-Mary Thinker and pointing to her, says:_]
-
-John Thinker The old cat is capable of it, too!
-
-John Speaker [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-If you should leave your money to charity, Cousin Fanny, you would find
-it made no difference with us. You know blood is thicker than water,
-Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Shrewdly, maliciously_.]
-
-So is sticky flypaper!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Come, come, you don't doubt the genuineness of our affection, do you,
-Cousin Fanny? You've known me from my boyhood, Cousin Fanny, and you've
-lived with us for ten years. You ought to know us by this time! You
-ought to know us in ten years!
-
-Mary Thinker Ten years of torture!
-
-John Thinker It can't last much longer!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Who has taken her hand again, and has been patting it as a
-continuation of his last speech, and looking at her fondly_.]
-
-You trust us, don't you, Cousin Fanny? You really are sure of our
-affection, aren't you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker. She shows that she really is willing to be convinced;
-she searches their faces wistfully; she is pathetically eager._ ]
-
-John, John, you really _do_ care for me, don't you? [_She takes a hand
-of each._]
-
-It isn't _all_ on account of my money, is it? If you knew I hadn't a
-cent, you'd still be good to me, wouldn't you?
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker [_Together._]
-
-Yes, yes, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I lost it all; if I told you I'd lost it all, you'd be just the same,
-wouldn't you?
-
-[_John Speaker and Mary Speaker exchange glances over her head, and John
-Speaker drops her hand, while John Thinker grabs Mary Thinker excitedly
-by the arm and says quickly_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-My God, you don't suppose she's really _lost_ it, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-No! This is just one of her cunning spells now. She can be as crafty as
-a witch.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I hadn't a cent you'd still care for me, wouldn't you, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Why, Cousin Fanny, you know I would!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-But I'm hard on you at times. I'm unjust. I don't mean to be spiteful,
-but I _am_ spiteful. When we get old we get suspicious of people. We get
-suspicious of everybody. And suspicion makes us spiteful and unjust. I
-know I'm not easy to live with, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker [_Kissing Cousin Fanny._]
-
-You get such strange notions, Cousin Fanny!
-
-John Thinker
-
-And such true ones, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Tell me the truth, Mary. You find me a trial, Mary. You and John find me
-a trial!
-
-Mary Speaker and John Speaker [_Together._ ]
-
-Never, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Mary Thinker and John Thinker [_Together._ ]
-
-Always, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny And that is the truth?
-
-John Speaker, John Thinker, Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker [_All
-together._ ]
-
-And that is the truth, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-You don't know how suspicious one gets!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Petting her_.]
-
-But suspicion never stays long in your good heart, Cousin Fanny. There's
-no room for it there, I know. But don't you think you'd better go to bed
-now? Let me call the maid.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing up in chair; suspicion and meanness all awake again_.]
-
-To bed? Why to bed? Why do you want to pack me off to bed? I know! I
-know why! You want me to go to bed so you two can talk about me. So you
-can talk me over! So you can speculate on how long I will live. I know
-you! I know what you talk about when I'm not around! I know what you've
-been waiting and hoping for the last ten years!
-
-[_Begins to cry._]
-
-Well, you won't have long to wait now. The time's almost come! I feel
-it's almost here. You'll get the money soon enough!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Soothing her_.]
-
-There, there, Cousin Fanny, don't go on like this!
-
-You know it isn't true--you know you'll live ten years yet!
-
-[_John Speaker runs his hands through his hair and looks silently at
-Mary Speaker, and John Thinker, with the same gesture, says to Mary
-Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-If I thought she'd live ten years yet----!
-
-[_Pauses._]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Well, if you thought she'd live ten years yet----?
-
-John Thinker [_With a gesture of de pair._ ]
-
-My God--ten years like the last ten years! Ten years! Talk about earning
-money! If it hasn't been earned ten times over!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Fiercely._]
-
-You see it mornings and evenings. I have it all day long, and every
-day. I've had it for ten years. I go nowhere, I see no one. I have no
-pleasures. I have no friends; I've lost my friends. I'm losing my youth.
-I'm losing my looks. I'm losing my very soul. I'm shedding my life's
-blood drop by drop to keep that querulous fool alive--just merely alive!
-I'm tired of it! I'm sick of it! I'm desperate! I'm dying from her, I
-tell you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Still soothing Cousin Fanny, but speaking with one hand nervously
-clutching her own head as she does so_.]
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny--you'd better go to bed now!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-I won't go to bed yet! I want my medicine. It's time for my medicine
-now. I won't go to bed till I've had my sleeping tablets.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Where are they, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-On top of the bookcase there. The small phial. [_John Speaker goes to
-the bookcase and begins to rummage for phial, while John Thinker says,
-meditatively_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-I suppose if one ever gave her the wrong medicine by mistake it would be
-called by some ugly name!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-People like her never get the wrong medicine given to them, and never
-take it by mistake themselves.
-
-John Speaker [_Finding bottle; examining it_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, didn't you have one of these about an hour ago?
-Didn't I see you take one of them right after dinner?
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Peevishly._]
-
-I don't know. I don't remember. I want one now, anyhow. My nerves are on
-the jump. You have got all my nerves on the jump. I'll take one, and nap
-here in the chair.
-
-John Speaker [_To Mary Speaker_.]
-
-She took one about an hour ago. I don't think it's quite right to let
-her have another so soon. They have a powerful depressing effect on the
-heart.
-
-Mary Speaker Let me see which ones they are.
-
-[_John Speaker holds the bottle out towards Mary Speaker, in front of
-Cousin Fanny. Cousin Fanny snatches it with a sudden motion, and laughs
-childishly. John Speaker and Mary Speaker look at each other inquiringly
-over her head._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-She really shouldn't have another one now, I'm afraid, dear. It might be
-pretty serious. [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-You _did_ take one right after dinner, didn't you, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Hugging bottle to her very excitedly_.]
-
-No! No! I tell you I didn't! I _will_ take one! You don't want me to get
-to sleep! You don't want me to get any rest! You want me to die!
-
-John Thinker I _know_ that she _did_ have one.
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker_.]
-
-What can you do, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking hold of Cousin Fanny's hands, and trying to take phial
-gently_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, you must be reasonable... you mustn't be
-stubborn about this. You can't have another tablet now. It's dangerous.
-It might even kill you!
-
-John Thinker
-
-It _would_ kill her as certainly as she sits there. John Speaker
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny... it might be dangerous.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John, don't struggle with her! Don't you know if you struggle with her
-it is likely to prove fatal? The doctor says the _least_ strain will
-prove fatal.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Whimpering and struggling._]
-
-Let me have it! Let me alone! Let go of my hands! You want to kill me!
-You want me to die so you can get my money!
-
-John Speaker [_Releasing her._]
-
-No! No! No! Cousin Fanny... Come, be reasonable!
-
-[_He reaches for her hands again, and she grabs his hand and bites it.
-He draws back and says_:]
-
-Damn!
-
-[_Nurses his hand._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Did she bite you?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes.
-
-[_Nurses his hand, and Mary Speaker examines it, while Cousin Fanny
-pulls cork from phial with teeth, and John Thinker says_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-The old viper has teeth yet!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is a cat... she is a she-devil... she is a witch... she has a bad
-heart....
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_To Mary Speaker, pointing to Cousin Fanny, who is shaking tablet out
-of bottle; she drops one and gropes for it, and shakes another more
-carefully, with air of childish triumph._]
-
-Mary, what _can_ I do? She _will_ have it! And if I struggle with her
-it will kill her! She is too weak to struggle! It will kill her to
-struggle! And if I let her take the tablet it may do her harm!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Perhaps the tablet won't do her any harm, John.
-
-John Thinker
-
-It will kill her as surely as she sits there. I know it will and _you_
-know it will.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Maybe it won't hurt her, Mary... but we can never tell.... I'm afraid...
-I'm afraid it really _might_ harm her....
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Putting tablet into her mouth_.]
-
-There! I'm going to sleep, now.... I'm going to sleep in spite of you.
-You hate me--both of you hate me--but you can't prevent me going to
-sleep!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-She's taken it, John. Do you suppose she really _did_ have one before?
-
-John Speaker [To Cousin Fanny.]
-
-Cousin Fanny, you _didn't_ have one before, did you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_She has closed her eyes; she opens them and rocks back and forth,
-laughing foolishly_.]
-
-Yes!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking out handkerchief; mopping fore-head_.]
-
-I don't believe she did. She says she did, but she doesn't know.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Rocking and laughing sillily._]
-
-Yes, I did! You know I did!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She doesn't know.... She doesn't know whether she did or not.... She
-hasn't really been right in her mind for a long time. I don't think she
-had one before.
-
-[_As he speaks Cousin Fanny ceases rocking and leans hack in her chair,
-closing her eyes. From this time on the two Johns and the two Marys
-stare at her intently, never taking their eyes off of her while they
-speak._]
-
-John Thinker
-
-She _did_ have one before.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-I _know_ she did.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will she die? Will I see her die? I should hate to see her die!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She _would_ have that tablet... she WOULD have it. If I had taken it
-away from her by force it would have killed her; the struggle would have
-killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will I see her die? Will she die?
-
-John Speaker
-
-I let her have it to save her life... it was to save her life that I
-quit struggling with her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-If she dies... but _will_ she die?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing from her lethargy slightly; open-ing her eyes._]
-
-John... Mary.... You really love me, don't you? Don't you? You really...
-really...
-
-[_Sinks back, with head slightly on one side and eyes closed again; does
-not move after this._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_They all speak with lowered voices now._] She is asleep. She really
-needed the tablet. It was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and
-overwrought, and it has put her to sleep.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes, it was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and overwrought, and it
-has put her to sleep.
-
-... And you know, Mary, she _would_ have t... if I had _struggled_ with
-her, she would have _died!_ A struggle would have killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-And now she will die because there was no struggle.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Is she breathing quite naturally, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker Quite. Quite naturally.
-
-Mary Thinker _Death_ is quite natural.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Well, if she had struggled and died... if she had died through any fault
-of mine... I would always have reproached myself....
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You need never reproach
-yourself with regard to her....
-
-John Thinker
-
-She was old. She was very old. She will be better dead.
-
-Mary Thinker She is not quite dead.
-
-John Speaker
-
-I don't like the way she is breathing.... She is scarcely breathing....
-She doesn't seem to be breathing at all!
-
-Mary Speaker Old people breathe very quietly.
-
-Mary Thinker Old people die very quietly.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is dead!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary... Mary... is she breathing at all? Mary Speaker
-
-Call the maid.... Send for the doctor.... Call the maid!
-
-John Thinker It is too late for any doctor.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Too late!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary, Mary.... My God... she can't be _dead!_
-
-Mary Speaker [_Bending above her._]
-
-John, dear... try to bear it bravely... but... but I'm afraid she is....
-Poor Cousin Fanny has left us!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Rapidly_.]
-
-Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny....
-
-John Thinker
-
-Fifteen thousand a year... fifteen thousand a year.... Why do I think of
-that?... But I can't help it.... I can't help thinking of it....
-
-Mary Speaker I'll go get the maid.
-
-[_Going_.]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Stop.... Wait, Mary.... Don't call her yet... get her presently.... I
-don't want to be alone just now.... I'm in a kind of fog....
-
-[_Lights go out as he says this; he continues in the darkness._]
-
-I'm all in the dark.
-
-[_Lights on again_.]
-
-[_In the interim, which is very short, Cousin Fanny has gone over to the
-room on the left in which are John and Mary Thinker, and sits in chair
-corresponding to one which she has just left._]
-
-[_She is silent and motionless, but her head is lifted; her eyes are
-open; she is alive again. When lights go on again, John and Mary Speaker
-still stand before chair she has left as if she were in it; it is
-apparent that they believe themselves to be still looking at the old
-woman._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Nonsense... all in the dark?... What do you mean by all in the dark?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing now. It has passed....
-
-[Pointing to chair where Cousin Fanny was.] She died with a smile on her
-face!
-
-John Thinker
-
-But she isn't there.... Cousin Fanny isn't there.
-
-... She's here.... She's over here with us... over here with _us_!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Here with us... over here, forever, now.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Holding John Speaker's hand and gazing at vacant chair_.]
-
-How beautiful she looks! She is at rest, now! She is better off so.
-Better dead. She is better at peace!
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Violently; starting towards other room_.]
-
-My God. I'm going to stop it... stop it... stop that lying... stop it
-at any cost.... I'm going to stop that pretending... that damned
-pretending....
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Quickly getting in front of him; holding him back._]
-
-What are you going to do?
-
-John Thinker
-
-Stop it, I tell you.... Tell the truth... stop that pretense....
-
-[_Moves towards the other room. As he does so, Mary Speaker and John
-Speaker, for the first time become aware of John and Mary Thinker, and
-shrink back in terror and alarm, clinging together, confused, convicted,
-abject, retreating, powerless; Cousin Fanny leaps in front of John
-Thinker at same instant, and bars him back, saying:_]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Why? I _will_ stop this pretense... Why not?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_All four of the others lean forward and hang eagerly upon her words_.]
-
-You must not. It can't be done. It is the foundation upon which your
-society rests. It is necessary..._ over there!_
-
-CURTAIN
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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- Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
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-Title: Carter, and Other People
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-Author: Don Marquis
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-Release Date: May 1, 2016 [EBook #51913]
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-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE ***
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-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
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-</pre>
-
- <div style="height: 8em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h1>
- CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE
- </h1>
- <h2>
- By Don Marquis
- </h2>
- <h4>
- D. Appleton and Co.
- </h4>
- <h5>
- 1921
- </h5>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <p>
- <b>CONTENTS</b>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_FORE"> FOREWORD </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> I.-Carter </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> II&mdash;Old Man Murtrie </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> III.&mdash;Never Say Die </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> IV.&mdash;McDermott </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> V.&mdash;Looney the Mutt </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> VI&mdash;Kale </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VII&mdash;Bubbles </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VIII.&mdash;The Chances of the Street </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> IX.&mdash;The Professor's Awakening </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> X.&mdash;The Penitent </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> XI.&mdash;The Locked Box </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XII.&mdash;Behind the Curtain </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XIII.&mdash;Words and Thoughts </a>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_FORE" id="link2H_FORE"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- FOREWORD
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span> wish to
- acknowledge my indebtedness to the editors of several magazines for
- permission to reprint the following stories in book form. &ldquo;Carter&rdquo; was
- originally published in <i>Harpers Monthly Magazine</i> under the title
- &ldquo;The Mulatto.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Death and Old Man Murtrie&rdquo; was printed in The New <i>Republic</i>; others
- were first brought out in <i>Everybody's Magazine, Short Stories, Putnam's
- Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post</i>. &ldquo;The Penitent&rdquo; was originally
- printed in <i>The Pictorial Review</i>, with the title &ldquo;The Healer and the
- Penitent.&rdquo; The plot of this story is taken from two poems, one by Browning
- and one by Owen Meredith. Happening to read these two poems, one after the
- other, I was struck by the fact that Owen Meredith had unwittingly written
- what was in effect a continuation of a situation invented by Browning; the
- plot of the one poem, telescoped into the plot of the other, made in
- effect a complete short story. I pasted the two situations together, so to
- speak, inventing an ending of my own, and had a short story which neither
- Browning nor Owen Meredith could claim as his-and which I scarcely have
- the nerve to claim as mine. And yet this story, taken piecemeal from the
- two poets, gave me more trouble than anything else I ever tried to write;
- it was all there, apparently; but to transpose the story into a modern
- American setting was a difficult job. It is my only essay in conscious
- plagiarism-I hate to call it plagiarism, but what else could one call it?&mdash;and
- I give you my word that it is easier to invent than to plagiarize.
- </p>
- <p>
- The one-act play, &ldquo;Words and Thoughts,&rdquo; was written ten years ago-in
- 1911-and has been offered to every theatrical manager in America, and
- refused by them all. I still believe in it as a thing that could be acted
- with effect, and I am determined to get it read, even if I cannot get it
- produced. The fact that it has been going the rounds of theatrical
- managers for ten years is no indication that it has ever been read.
- </p>
- <p>
- Don Marquis
- </p>
- <p>
- New York
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- I.-Carter
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">C</span>arter was not
- exactly a negro, but he was a &ldquo;nigger.&rdquo; Seven drops of his blood out of
- every eight were Caucasian. The eighth, being African, classified him. The
- white part of him despised and pitied the black part. The black part hated
- the white part. Consequently, wherever Carter went he carried his own hell
- along inside of him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter began to learn that he was a nigger very early in life. Nigger
- children are not left long in doubt anywhere, and especially in the South.
- Carter first saw the light&mdash;and the shadows&mdash;of day in Atlanta.
- The color line itself, about which one hears so much talk, seemed to run
- along one end of the alley in which he was born. It was an alley with a
- gutter and a great deal of mud in it. At the corner, where it gave into a
- little narrow street not much better than an alley itself, the mud was the
- thickest, deepest, and best adapted to sculptural purposes. But in the
- little street lived a number of white families. They were most of them
- mill hands, and a numerous spawn of skinny children, little &ldquo;crackers,&rdquo;
- with faces white and sad even from babyhood, disputed the mud with the
- nigger children. Nigger babies of five, four, three, and even two,
- understood quite well that this most desirable mud, even though it was in
- the nigger alley, was claimed by the white babies as <i>their</i> mud. It
- was in every way a more attractive sort of mud than any in the little
- street proper; and juvenile race riots were of almost hourly occurrence&mdash;skirmishes
- in which the very dogs took part. For the dogs grasped the situation as
- clearly as did the children; a &ldquo;nigger&rdquo; dog, even though he may have
- started in life as a white man's dog, soon gets a certain look about him.
- </p>
- <p>
- So there was no chance for Carter to escape the knowledge that he was a
- nigger. But it was with a thrill that he perceived in his youthful
- excursions from the home alley, that he was sometimes mistaken for a white
- child. He was so white in color that one could not tell he was a nigger at
- a casual glance.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he grew up, he made another discovery that elated and embittered him
- still more. He found out who his father was&mdash;or rather, who his
- father had been, since he never saw that gentleman. The white blood in
- Carter's veins was no common ichor. Because white people seldom speak of
- these things it does not follow that they are not known pretty generally
- among the negroes. They are, in fact, discussed.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter went to school; he made the further discovery that he had brains&mdash;&ldquo;white
- man's brains&rdquo; is the way he put it to himself. Given the opportunity, he
- told himself, he could go as far as the average white man&mdash;perhaps
- further than the average. The white man's standard, nigger though he was,
- was still the standard by which he must measure himself. But the
- opportunity! Even as the youth prepared himself for it he perceived,
- hopelessly, that it would be denied him.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he matured he began to feel a strange, secret pride in that white
- family whose blood he shared. He familiarized himself with its genealogy.
- There is many a courtier who cannot trace his ancestry as far back as
- Carter could. One of his forebears had signed Magna Charta; several had
- fought in the Revolutionary War. There had been a United States Senator in
- the family, and a Confederate General. At times, feeling the vigorous
- impulse of hereditary instinct and ambitions, Carter looked upon himself
- as all white man, but never for long, nor to any purpose. The
- consciousness of his negro blood pulled him down again.
- </p>
- <p>
- But, as he grew up, he ceased to herd with black negroes; he scorned them.
- He crept about the world cursing it and himself&mdash;an unfortunate and
- bitter creature that had no place; unfortunate and bitter, cursed with an
- intellect, denied that mitigation that might have come with a full share
- of the negro jovialty of disposition, forever unreconciled.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was one member of that white family from which he drew so much of
- his blood whom Carter particularly admired. Willoughby Howard was about
- Carter's own age, and he was Carter's half-brother. Howard did not
- distinguish Carter from any other mulatto; probably did not know of his
- existence. But as Howard reached manhood, and, through virtue of his
- wealth and standing and parts, began to attain an excellent place in the
- world, his rise was watched by Carter with a strange intensity of emotion.
- Carter in some occult way identified himself with the career of Willoughby
- Howard&mdash;sometimes he almost worshiped Willoughby Howard, and then he
- hated him; he envied him and raged over him with the same breath.
- </p>
- <p>
- But mostly, as the isolation of his own condition, ate into his soul, he
- raged over himself; he pitied himself; he hated himself. Out of the
- turmoil of his spirit arose the one despairing cry, Oh, to be white,
- white, <i>white!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Many a night he lay awake until daybreak, measuring the slow minutes with
- the ceaseless iteration of that useless prayer: Only to be white! O God,
- for <i>one little year of being white!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Fruitless hours of prayers and curses!
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter went North. He went to New York. But the North, which affects to
- promise so much to the negro, in a large, loose, general way, does not
- perform in the same degree. There was only one thing which Carter would
- have thanked any one for performing; it was the one thing that could never
- be performed&mdash;he wanted to be made white. Sometimes, indeed, from the
- depths of his despair, he cried out that he wanted to be altogether black;
- but in his soul he did not really want that.
- </p>
- <p>
- Nevertheless, at several different periods he yielded to temptation and
- &ldquo;went over to the whites.&rdquo; In the South he could not have done this
- without discovery, in spite of the color of his skin. But in the Northern
- cities, with their enormous numbers of aliens, all more or less strange to
- the American eye, Carter found no great difficulty in passing as white. He
- &ldquo;looked a little foreign&rdquo; to the casual glance; that was all.
- </p>
- <p>
- But if there was no great difficulty in it, there was no great
- satisfaction in it, either. In fact, it only made him the more bitter.
- Others might think him a white man, but he knew that he was a nigger.
- </p>
- <p>
- The incident which sent him back South, resolved to be a nigger, and to
- live and die among the niggers, might not have affected another in his
- condition just as it did Carter. But to him it showed conclusively that
- his destiny was not a matter of environment so much as a question of
- himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- He fell in love. The girl was a waitress in a cheap restaurant near the
- barber shop where Carter worked. She was herself a product of the East
- Side, struggling upward from the slums; partly Italian, with some Oriental
- strain in her that had given the least perceptible obliqueness to her eyes&mdash;one
- of those rare hybrid products which give the thinker pause and make him
- wonder what the word &ldquo;American&rdquo; will signify a century from now; a
- creature with very red lips and very black eyebrows; she seemed to know
- more than she really did; she had a kind of naïve charm, a sort of
- allurement, without actual beauty; and her name had been Anglicized into
- Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- And she loved Carter. This being, doomed from the cradle to despair, had
- his moment of romance. But even in his intoxication there was no hope; his
- elation was embittered and perplexed. He was tempted not to tell the girl
- that he was a nigger. But if he married her, and did not tell her, perhaps
- the first child would tell her. It might look more of a nigger than he
- did.
- </p>
- <p>
- But if he told her, would she marry a nigger? He decided he would tell
- her. Perhaps his conscience had less to do with this decision than the
- fatalism of his temperament.
- </p>
- <p>
- So he made his revelation one Sunday evening, as they walked along the
- boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton. To him, it was a tremendous
- moment. For days he had been revolving in his mind the phrases he would
- use; he had been rehearsing his plea; in his imagination he saw something
- spectacular, something histrionic, in his confession.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he said, as they sat down on a bench on the beach, &ldquo;there is
- something I think I ought to tell you before we get married.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The girl turned toward him her big, sleepy, dark eyes, which always seemed
- to see and understand so much more than they really did, and looked away
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I ought to tell you,&rdquo; he said&mdash;and as he said it, staring out to
- sea, he was so imposed upon by the importance of the moment to himself
- that he almost felt as if the sea listened and the waves paused&mdash;&ldquo;I
- ought to tell you that I have negro blood in my veins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She was silent. There was a moment before he dared look at her; he could
- not bear to read his doom in her eyes. But finally he did muster up
- courage enough to turn his head.
- </p>
- <p>
- The girl was placidly chewing gum and gazing at an excursion vessel that
- was making a landing at one of the piers.
- </p>
- <p>
- He thought she had not heard. &ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he repeated, &ldquo;I have negro blood in
- my veins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said she. &ldquo;I gotcha the first time, Steve! Say, I wonder if we
- couldn't take the boat back to town? Huh? Whatcha say?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He looked at her almost incredulous. She had understood, and yet she had
- not shrunk away from him! He examined her with a new interest; his
- personal drama, in which she, perforce, must share, seemed to have made no
- impression upon her whatsoever.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you mean,&rdquo; he said, hesitatingly, &ldquo;that it will&mdash;that it won't
- make any difference to you? That you can marry me, that you <i>will</i>
- marry me, in spite of&mdash;of&mdash;in spite of what I am?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Gee! but ain't you the solemn one!&rdquo; said the girl, taking hold of her gum
- and &ldquo;stringing&rdquo; it out from her lips. &ldquo;Whatcha s'pose I care for a little
- thing like that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He had looked for a sort of dramatic &ldquo;situation&rdquo;; and, behold, there was
- none! There was none simply because the girl had no vantage point from
- which to look at his life and hers. He had negro blood in his veins&mdash;and
- she simply did not care one way or the other!
- </p>
- <p>
- He felt no elation, no exultation; he believed that she <i>should</i> have
- cared; whether her love was great enough to pardon that in him or not, she
- should have felt it as a thing that <i>needed</i> pardon.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he stared at the girl, and she continued to chew her gum, he swiftly
- and subtly revised his estimate of her; and in his new appraisement there
- was more than a tinge of disgust. And for a moment he became altogether a
- white man in his judgment of the thing that was happening; he looked at
- the situation as a patrician of the South might have looked at it; the
- seven eighths of his blood which was white spoke:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;By God!&rdquo; he said, suddenly leaping to his feet and flinging aside the
- startled hand which the girl put out toward him, &ldquo;I can't have anything to
- do with a woman who'd marry a nigger!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So Carter went back to Atlanta. And, curiously enough, he stepped from the
- train almost into the midst of a strange and terrible conflict of which
- the struggle in his individual breast was, in a sense, the type and the
- symbol.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was a Saturday night in September, an evening on which there began a
- memorable and sanguinary massacre of negroes; an event which has been
- variously explained and analyzed, but of which, perhaps, the underlying
- causes will never be completely understood.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was riot in the streets, a whirlwind of passion which lashed the
- town and lifted up the trivial souls of men and spun them round and round,
- and passed and left the stains of blood behind. White men were making
- innocent negroes suffer for the brutal crimes of guilty negroes. It had
- been a hot summer; scarcely a day had passed during July and August
- without bringing to the newspapers from somewhere in Georgia a report of a
- negro assault upon some white woman. A blind, undiscriminating anger
- against the whole negro race had been growing and growing. And when, on
- that Saturday afternoon, the newspapers reported four more crimes, in
- rapid succession, all in or near Atlanta, the cumulative rage burst into a
- storm.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was no danger for Carter in the streets; more than a hasty glance
- was necessary to spy out his negro taint. He stood in a doorway, in the
- heart of the business district of the town, and watched the wild work that
- went on in a large, irregular plaza, where five streets come together and
- all the car lines in the place converge. From this roughly triangular
- plaza leads Decatur Street, at one time notorious throughout the South for
- its negro dives and gambling-dens.
- </p>
- <p>
- Now and then Carter could hear the crack of a pistol, close at hand or far
- away; and again some fleeing negro would start from a place of temporary
- concealment, at the approach of a mob that beat its way along a street,
- and make a wild dash for safety, as a rabbit startled from the sedge-grass
- scurries to the brush. There was not one mob, but several; the different
- bands united, split up, and reunited, as the shifting winds of madness
- blew. The plaza, with arc lights all about it, was the brilliantly
- illuminated stage on which more than one scene of that disgusting
- melodrama was played out; from some dim hell of gloom and clamor to the
- north or east would rush a shouting group that whirled and swayed beneath
- the lights, dancing like flecks of soot in their brightness, to disappear
- in the gloom again, shouting, cursing, and gesticulating, down one of the
- thoroughfares to the west or south. And to Carter, in whose heart there
- waxed a fearful turmoil of emotions, even as the two races clashed along
- the echoing streets, there was a strange element of unreality about it
- all; or, rather, the night was dreadful with that superior reality which
- makes so much more vivid than waking life the intense experience of
- dreams. Carter thrilled; he shook; he was torn with terror and pity and
- horror and hatred.
- </p>
- <p>
- No white man felt all that Carter felt that night; nor yet any negro. For
- he was both, and he was neither; and he beheld that conflict which was
- forever active in his own nature dramatized by fate and staged with a
- thousand actors in the lighted proscenium at his feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- This thought struck Carter himself, and he turned toward another man who
- had paused in the doorway, with no clear intention, but perhaps with the
- vague impulse of addressing him, as a point of solid contact and relief
- from the sense of hurrying nightmare that possessed both the streets and
- his own spirit.
- </p>
- <p>
- Startled, he saw that the other man was Willoughby Howard. Carter
- hesitated, and then advanced a step. But whatever he had to say was
- interrupted by a crowd that swept past them from Decatur Street in pursuit
- of a panting negro. The fleeing colored man was struck a dozen times; he
- fell at the street corner near them, and the mob surged on again into the
- darkness beyond, already in full chase of another quarry&mdash;all but one
- man, who left the mob and ran back as if to assure himself that the
- prostrate negro was really dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- This was a short man, a very short man, a dwarf with a big head too heavy
- for him, and little bandy legs&mdash;legs so inadequate that he wabbled
- like an overfed poodle when he ran. Carter had seen him twice before that
- night, dodging in and out among the feet of the rioters like an excited
- cur, stumbling, falling, trodden upon; a being with bloodshot eyes and
- matted hair, hoarse voice and menacing fist, drunken and staggering with
- blood lust; the very Gnome of Riot himself come up from some foul cave and
- howling in the streets. &ldquo;Kill them! Kill them!&rdquo; he would cry, and then
- shake with cackling laughter. But he was only valiant when there was; no
- danger. As he approached the negro who lay upon the ground, and bent over
- him, Willoughby Howard stepped down from the doorway and aimed a blow at
- the creature with a cane. The blow missed, but the dwarf ran shrieking
- down Decatur Street.
- </p>
- <p>
- Howard bent over the negro. The negro stirred; he was not dead. Howard
- turned toward Carter and said:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's alive! Help me get him out of the street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Together they lifted the wounded man, moving him toward the curbstone. He
- groaned and twisted, and they laid him down. Howard poured whisky into him
- from a pocket flask, and a little later he managed to struggle to a
- sitting posture on the curb, looking up at them with dazed eyes and a
- bloody face.
- </p>
- <p>
- Howard took his slow gaze from the negro and covered his face with his
- hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter watched him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Of all men in the world this was the one whom Carter most honored and most
- loved&mdash;honored and loved, while he envied; he was the only man,
- perhaps, that could have touched Carter through his crust of bitterness.
- Carter listened with strained attention for what Howard would say, as if
- with some premonition that the words would be the cue for the most vital
- action of his life.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My God! My God!&rdquo; said Willoughby Howard, &ldquo;will this thing never stop?&rdquo;
- And then he straightened himself and turned toward the shadow into which
- Carter had retired, and there was the glow and glory of a large idea on
- his face; the thought of a line of men never lacking, when once aroused,
- in the courage to do and die for a principle or a human need. &ldquo;There is
- one way,&rdquo; he cried, stretching out his hands impulsively to Carter, and
- not knowing to whom or to what manner of man he spoke&mdash;&ldquo;there is one
- way to make them pause and think! If two of us white men of the better
- class offer our lives for these poor devils&mdash;die in their defense!&mdash;the
- mob will halt; the crowd will think; we can end it! Will you do it, with
- me? Will you do it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Two of us white men of the better class! Willoughby Howard had taken him
- for a white man!
- </p>
- <p>
- It was like an accolade. A light blazed through the haunted caverns of his
- soul; he swelled with a vast exultation.
- </p>
- <p>
- Willoughby Howard had taken him for a white man! Then, by God, he would be
- one! Since he was nothing in this life, he could at least die&mdash;and in
- his death he would be a white man! Nay, more:&mdash;he would die shoulder
- to shoulder with one of that family whose blood he shared. He would show
- that he, too, could shed that blood for an idea or a principle! For
- humanity! At the thought he could feel it singing in his veins. Oh, to be
- white, white, white! The dreams and the despairs of all his miserable and
- hampered life passed before him in a whirl, and now the cry was answered!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, lifting his head, and rising at that instant into a larger
- thing than he had ever been, &ldquo;I will stand by you. I will die with you.&rdquo;
- And under his breath he added&mdash;&ldquo;my brother.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- They had not long to wait. In the confused horror of that night things
- happened quickly. Even as Carter spoke the wounded negro struggled to his
- feet with a scarce articulate cry of alarm, for around the corner swept a
- mob, and the dwarf with matted hair was in the lead. He had come back with
- help to make sure of his job.
- </p>
- <p>
- With the negro cowering behind them, the white man and the mulatto stepped
- forth to face the mob. Their attitude made their intention obvious.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't be a damned fool, Willoughby Howard,&rdquo; said a voice from the crowd,
- &ldquo;or you may get hurt yourself.&rdquo; And with the words there was a rush, and
- the three were in the midst of the clamoring madness, the mob dragging the
- negro from his two defenders.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Be careful&mdash;don't hurt Willoughby Howard!&rdquo; said the same voice
- again. Willoughby turned, and, recognizing the speaker as an acquaintance,
- with a sudden access of scorn and fury and disgust, struck him across the
- mouth. The next moment his arms were pinioned, and he was lifted and flung
- away from the negro he had been fighting to protect by half a dozen men.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You fools! You fools!&rdquo; he raged, struggling toward the center of the
- crowd again, &ldquo;you're killing a white man there. An innocent white man&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
- Do you stop at nothing? You're killing a <i>white man</i>, I say!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;White man?&rdquo; said the person whom he had struck, and who appeared to bear
- him little resentment for the blow. &ldquo;Who's a white man? Not Jerry Carter
- here! He wasn't any white man. I've known him since he was a kid&mdash;he
- was just one of those yaller niggers.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Carter heard it as he died.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- II&mdash;Old Man Murtrie
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">O</span>ld Man Murtrie
- never got any fresh air at all, except on Sundays on his way to and from
- church. He lived, slept, cooked and ate back of the prescription case in
- his little dismal drug store in one of the most depressing quarters of
- Brooklyn. The store was dimly lighted by gas and it was always damp and
- suggested a tomb. Drifting feebly about in the pale and cold and faintly
- greenish radiance reflected from bottles and show cases, Old Man Murtrie
- with his bloodless face and dead white hair and wisps of whisker was like
- a ghost that has not managed to get free from the neighborhood of a
- sepulcher where its body lies disintegrating.
- </p>
- <p>
- People said that Old Man Murtrie was nearly a hundred years old, but this
- was not true; he was only getting along towards ninety. The neighborhood,
- however, seemed a little impatient with him for not dying. Some persons
- suggested that perhaps he really had been dead for a long time, and did
- not know it. If so, they thought, it might be kind to tell him about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Old Man Murtrie was not dead, any more than he was alive. And Death
- himself, who has his moments of impatience, began to get worried about Old
- Man Murtrie. It was time, Death thought, that he was dead, since he looked
- so dead; and Death had said so, both to God and to the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I don't want to garner him, naturally,&rdquo; Death would say, &ldquo;till I know
- which one of you is to have him. He's got to go somewhere, you know.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- God and Death and the Devil used to sit on the prescription counter in a
- row, now and then, and watch Old Man Murtrie as he slept in his humble
- little cot back there, and discuss him.
- </p>
- <p>
- God would look at Old Man Murtrie's pale little Adam's Apple sticking up
- in the faint gaslight, and moving as he snored&mdash;moving feebly, for
- even his snores were feeble&mdash;and say, with a certain distaste:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want him. He can't get into Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the Devil would look at his large, weak, characterless nose;&mdash;a
- nose so big that it might have suggested force on any one but Old Man
- Murtrie&mdash;and think what a sham it was, and how effectually all its
- contemptible effort to be a real nose was exposed in Old Man Murtrie's
- sleep. And the Devil would say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want him. He can't get into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Death would say, querulously: &ldquo;But he can't go on living forever.
- My reputation is suffering.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You should take him,&rdquo; the Devil would say to God. &ldquo;He goes to church on
- Sunday, and he is the most meek and pious and humble and prayerful person
- in all Brooklyn, and perhaps in all the world.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But he takes drugs,&rdquo; God would say. &ldquo;You should take him, because he is a
- drug fiend.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He takes drugs,&rdquo; the Devil would admit, &ldquo;but that doesn't make him a <i>fiend</i>.
- You have to do something besides take drugs to be a fiend. You will permit
- me to have my own notions, I am sure, on what constitutes a fiend.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You ought to forgive him the drugs for the sake of his piety,&rdquo; the Devil
- would say. &ldquo;And taking drugs is his only vice. He doesn't drink, or smoke
- tobacco, or use profane language, or gamble. And he doesn't run after
- women.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You ought to forgive him the piety for the sake of the drugs,&rdquo; God would
- tell the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never saw such a pair as you two,&rdquo; Death would say querulously.
- &ldquo;Quibble, quibble, quibble!&mdash;while Old Man Murtrie goes on and on
- living! He's lived so long that he is affecting death rates and insurance
- tables, all by himself, and you know what that does to my reputation.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Death would stoop over and run his finger caressingly across Old Man
- Murtrie's throat, as the Old Man slept. Whereupon Old Man Murtrie would
- roll over on his back and moan in his sleep and gurgle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He has wanted to be a cheat all his life,&rdquo; God would say to the Devil.
- &ldquo;He has always had the impulse to give short weight and substitute
- inferior drugs in his prescriptions and overcharge children who were sent
- on errands to his store. If that isn't sin I don't know what sin is. You
- should take him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I admit he has had those impulses,&rdquo; the Devil would say to God. &ldquo;But he
- has never yielded to them. In my opinion having those impulses and
- conquering them makes him a great deal more virtuous than if he'd never
- had 'em. No one who is as virtuous as all that can get into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never saw such a pair,&rdquo; Death would grumble. &ldquo;Can't you agree with each
- other about anything?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't abstain from his vices because of any courage,&rdquo; God would say.
- &ldquo;He abstained simply because he was afraid. It wasn't virtue in him; it
- was cowardice.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The fear of the Lord,&rdquo; murmured the Devil, dreamily, &ldquo;is the beginning of
- all wisdom.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But not necessarily the end of it,&rdquo; God would remark.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Argue, argue, argue,&rdquo; Death would say, &ldquo;and here's Old Man Murtrie still
- alive! I'm criticized about the way I do my work, but no one has any idea
- of the vacillation and inefficiency I have to contend with! I never saw
- such a pair as you two to vacillate!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Sometimes Old Man Murtrie would wake up and turn over on his couch and see
- God and Death and the Devil sitting in a row on the prescription counter,
- looking at him. But he always persuaded himself that it was a sort of
- dream, induced by the &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; he took; and he would take another dose
- of his &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; and go back to sleep again. He never spoke to them when
- he waked, but just lay on his cot and stared at them; and if they spoke to
- him he would pretend to himself that they had not spoken. For it was
- absurd to think that God and Death and the Devil could really be sitting
- there, in the dim greenish gaslight, among all the faintly radiant
- bottles, talking to each other and looking at him; and so Old Man Murtrie
- would not believe it.
- </p>
- <p>
- When he first began taking his &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; Old Man Murtrie took it in the
- form of a certain patent preparation which was full of opium. He wanted
- the opium more and more after he started, but he pretended to himself that
- he did not know there was much opium in that medicine. Then, when a
- federal law banished that kind of medicine from the markets, he took to
- making it for his own use. He would not take opium outright, for that
- would be to acknowledge to himself that he was an opium eater; he thought
- eating opium was a sin, and he thought of himself as sinless. But to make
- the medicine with the exact formula that its manufacturers had used,
- before they had been compelled to shut up shop, and use it, did not seem
- to him to be the same thing at all as being an opium eater. And yet, after
- the law was passed, abolishing the medicine, he would not sell to any one
- else what he made for himself; his conscience would not allow him to do
- so. Therefore, he must have known that he was eating opium at the same
- time he tried to fool himself about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- God and the Devil used to discuss the ethics of this attitude towards the
- &ldquo;medicine,&rdquo; and Old Man Murtrie would sometimes pretend to be asleep and
- would listen to them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He knows it is opium all right,&rdquo; God would say. &ldquo;He is just lying to
- himself about it. He ought to go to Hell. No one that lies to himself that
- way can get into Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's pretending for the sake of society in general and for the sake of
- religion,&rdquo; the Devil would say. &ldquo;If he admitted to himself that it was
- opium and if he let the world know that he took opium, it might bring
- discredit on the church that he loves so well. He might become a stumbling
- block to others who are seeking salvation, and who seek it through the
- church. He is willing to sacrifice himself so as not to hamper others in
- their religious life. For my part, I think it is highly honorable of him,
- and highly virtuous. No person as moral as that in his instincts can get
- into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Talk, talk, talk!&rdquo; Death would say. &ldquo;The trouble with you two is that
- neither one of you wants Old Man Murtrie around where you will have to
- look at him through all eternity, and each of you is trying to put it on
- moral grounds.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Old Man Murtrie kept on living and praying and being pious and wanting
- to be bad and not daring to and taking his medicine and being generally as
- ineffectual in the world either for good or evil as a butterfly in a
- hurricane.
- </p>
- <p>
- But things took a turn. There was a faded-looking blonde woman with
- stringy hair by the name of Mable who assisted Old Man Murtrie in the
- store, keeping his books and waiting on customers, and so forth. She was
- unmarried, and one day she announced to him that she was going to have a
- child.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Murtrie had often looked at her with a recollection, a dim and
- faint remembrance, of the lusts of his youth and of his middle age. In his
- youth and middle age he had lusted after many women, but he had never let
- any of them know it, because he was afraid, and he had called his fears
- virtue, and had really believed that he was virtuous.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Whom do you suspect?&rdquo; asked Old Man Murtrie, leering at Mable like a
- wraith blown down the ages from the dead adulteries of ruined Babylon.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who?&rdquo; cried Mable, an unlessoned person, but with a cruel, instinctive
- humor. &ldquo;Who but you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She had expected Old Man Murtrie to be outraged at her ridiculous joke,
- and, because she was unhappy herself, had anticipated enjoying his
- astounded protests. But it was she who was astounded. Old Man Murtrie's
- face was blank and his eyes were big for a moment, and then he chuckled; a
- queer little cackling chuckle. And when she went out he opened the door
- for her and cocked his head and cackled again.
- </p>
- <p>
- It gave Mable an idea. She reflected that he took so much opium that he
- might possibly be led to believe the incredible, and she might get some
- money out of him. So the next evening she brought her mother and her
- brother to the store and accused him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Murtrie chuckled and... <i>and admitted it!</i> Whether he
- believed that it could be true or not, Mable and her people were unable to
- determine. But they made the tactical error of giving him his choice
- between marriage and money, and he chose matrimony.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Old Man Murtrie was suddenly seized with a mania for confession.
- God and Death and the Devil used to listen to him nights, and they
- wondered over him, and began to change their minds about him, a little. He
- confessed to the officials of his church. He confessed to all the people
- whom he knew. He insisted on making a confession, a public confession, in
- the church itself and asking for the prayers of the preacher and
- congregation for his sin, and telling them that he was going to atone by
- matrimony, and asking for a blessing on the wedding.
- </p>
- <p>
- And one night, full of opium, while he-was babbling about it in his sleep,
- God and Death and the Devil sat on the prescription counter again and
- looked at him and listened to his ravings and speculated.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm going to have him,&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;Any one who displays such
- conspicuous bad taste that he goes around confessing that he has ruined a
- woman ought to go to Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You don't want him for that reason,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;And you know you don't.
- You want him because you admire the idea of adultery, and think that now
- he is worthy of a place in Hell. You are rather entertained by Old Man
- Murtrie, and want him around now.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the Devil, &ldquo;suppose I admit that is true! Have you any
- counter claim?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;I am going to take Old Man Murtrie into Heaven. He knows
- he is not the father of the child that is going to be born, but he has
- deliberately assumed the responsibility lest it be born fatherless, and I
- think that is a noble act.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Rubbish!&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;That isn't the reason you want him. You want
- him because of the paternal instinct he displays. It flatters you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;why not? The paternal instinct is another name for the
- great creative force of the universe. I have been known by many names in
- many countries... they called me Osiris, the All-Father, in Egypt, and
- they called me Jehovah in Palestine, and they called me Zeus and Brahm...
- but always they recognized me as the Father. And this instinct for
- fatherliness appeals to me. Old Man Murtrie shall come to Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Such a pair as you two,&rdquo; said Death, gloomily, &ldquo;I never did see! Discuss
- and discuss, but never get anywhere! And all the time Old Man Murtrie goes
- on living.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Death added:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why not settle this matter once and for all, right now? Why not wake Old
- Man Murtrie up and let him decide?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Decide?&rdquo; asked the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&mdash;whether he wants to go to Hell or to Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I imagine,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;that if we do that there can be no question as to
- which place he would rather go to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I don't know,&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;Some people come to Hell quite
- willingly. I've been to Heaven myself, you know, and I can quite
- understand why. Are you afraid to have Old Man Murtrie make the choice?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wake him up, Death, wake him up,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;It's unusual to allow people
- to know that they are making their own decision&mdash;though all of them,
- in a sense, do make it&mdash;but wake him up, Death, and we'll see.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So Death prodded Old Man Murtrie in the ribs, and they asked him. For a
- long time he thought it was only opium, but when he finally understood
- that it was really God and Death and the Devil who were there, and that it
- was really they who had often been there before, he was very much
- frightened. He was so frightened he couldn't choose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll leave it to you, I'll leave it to you,&rdquo; said Old Man Murtrie. &ldquo;Who
- am I that I should set myself up to decide?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said God, getting a little angry, perhaps, &ldquo;if you don't want to
- go to Heaven, Murtrie, you don't have to. But you've been, praying to go
- to Heaven, and all that sort of thing, for seventy or eighty years, and I
- naturally thought you were in earnest. But I'm through with you... you can
- go to Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh! Oh! Oh!&rdquo; moaned Old Man Murtrie.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said the Devil, &ldquo;I've changed my mind, too. My distaste for Murtrie
- has returned to me. I don't want him around. I won't have him in Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here, now!&rdquo; cried Death. &ldquo;You two are starting it all over again. I
- won't have it, so I won't! You aren't fair to Murtrie, and you aren't fair
- to me! This matter has got to be settled, and settled to-night!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, then,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;settle it. I've ceased to care one way or
- another.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I will not,&rdquo; said Death, &ldquo;I know my job, and I stick to my job. One of
- you two has got to settle it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Toss a coin,&rdquo; suggested the Devil, indifferently.
- </p>
- <p>
- Death looked around for one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's a qu-qu-quarter in m-m-my t-t-trousers' p-p-pocket,&rdquo; stammered
- Old Man Murtrie, and then stuck his head under the bedclothes and shivered
- as if he had the ague.
- </p>
- <p>
- Death picked up Murtrie's poor little weazened trousers from the floor at
- the foot of the cot, where they lay sprawled untidily, and shook them till
- the quarter dropped out.
- </p>
- <p>
- He picked it up.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Heads, he goes to Heaven. Tails, he goes to Hell,&rdquo; said Death, and tossed
- the coin to the ceiling. Murtrie heard it hit the ceiling, and started. He
- heard it hit the floor, and bounce, and jingle and spin and roll and come
- to rest. And he thrust his head deeper under the covers and lay there
- quaking. He did not dare look.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Look at it, Murtrie,&rdquo; said Death.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh! Oh! Oh!&rdquo; groaned Murtrie, shaking the cot.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Death reached over and caught him by the neck and turned his face so
- that he could not help seeing. And Old Man Murtrie looked and saw that the
- coin had fallen with the side up that sent him to&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- But, really, why should I tell you? Go and worry about your own soul, and
- let Old Man Murtrie's alone.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- III.&mdash;Never Say Die
- </h2>
- <h3>
- |There seemed nothing left but suicide.
- </h3>
- <p>
- But how? In what manner? By what method? Mr. Gooley lay on his bed and
- thought&mdash;or tried to think. The pain in his head, which had been
- there ever since the day after he had last eaten, prevented easy and
- coherent thought.
- </p>
- <p>
- It had been three days ago that the pain left his stomach and went into
- his head. Hunger had become a cerebral thing, he told himself. His body
- had felt hunger so long that it refused to feel it any longer; it had
- shifted the burden to his brain.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It has passed the buck to my mind, my stomach has,&rdquo; murmured Mr. Gooley
- feebly. And the mind, less by the process of coherent and connected
- thought than by a sudden impulsive pounce, had grasped the idea of
- suicide.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not with a knife,&rdquo; considered Mr. Gooley. He had no knife. He had no
- money to buy a knife. He had no strength to go down the three flights of
- stairs in the cheap Brooklyn lodging house where he lay, and borrow a
- knife from the landlady who came and went vaguely in the nether regions,
- dim and damp and dismal.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not with a knife,&rdquo; repeated Mr. Gooley. And a large cockroach, which had
- been crawling along the footpiece of the old-fashioned wooden bed, stopped
- crawling at the words as if it understood, and turned about and looked at
- him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley wondered painfully, for it was a pain even to wonder about
- anything, why this cockroach should remind him of somebody who was somehow
- connected with a knife, and not unpleasantly connected with a knife. The
- cockroach stood up on the hindmost pair of his six legs, and seemed to put
- his head on one side and motion with his front legs at Mr. Gooley.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I get you,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, conscious that his mind was wandering from
- the point, and willing to let it wander. &ldquo;I know who you are! You were Old
- Man Archibald Hammil, the hardware merchant back in Mapletown, where I was
- a kid, before you dried up and turned into a cockroach.&rdquo; And Mr. Gooley
- wept a few weak tears. For old Archibald Hammil, the village hardware
- merchant, had sold him the first knife he had ever owned. His father had
- taken him into Hammil's store to buy it on his seventh birthday, for a
- present, and it had had a buckhorn handle and two blades. Again he saw Old
- Man Hammil in his dingy brown clothes, looking at him, with his head on
- one side, as this cockroach was doing. Again he felt his father pat him on
- the head, and heard him say always to remember to whittle <i>away</i> from
- himself, never <i>toward</i> himself. And he saw himself, shy and flushed
- and eager, a freckle-faced boy as good and as bad as most boys, looking up
- at his father and wriggling and wanting to thank him, and not knowing how.
- That was nearly forty years ago&mdash;and here he was, a failure and
- starving and&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Why</i> had he wanted a knife? Yes, he remembered now! To kill himself
- with.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's none of your damned business, Old Man Hammil,&rdquo; he said to the
- cockroach, which was crawling back and forth on the footboard, and pausing
- every now and then to look at him with disapproval.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil had had ropes in his store, too, and guns and pistols, he
- remembered. He hadn't thought of Old Man Hammi's store in many years; but
- now he saw it, and the village street outside it, and the place where the
- stores left off on the street and the residences began, and berry bushes,
- and orchards, and clover in the grass&mdash;the random bloom, the little
- creek that bounded the town, and beyond the creek the open country with
- its waving fields of oats and rye and com. His head hurt him worse. He
- would go right back into Old Man Hammil's store and get a rope or a gun
- and end that pain.
- </p>
- <p>
- But <i>that</i> was foolish, too. There wasn't any store. There was only
- Old Man Hammil here, shrunk to the size of a cockroach, in his rusty brown
- suit, looking at him from the footboard of the bed and telling him in
- pantomime not to kill himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I will too!&rdquo; cried Mr. Gooley to Old Man Hammil. And he repeated, &ldquo;It's
- none of <i>your</i> damned business!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But how? Not with a knife. He had none. Not with a gun. He had none. Not
- with a rope. He had none. He thought of his suspenders. But they would
- never hold him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Too weak, even for me,&rdquo; muttered Mr. Gooley. &ldquo;I have shrunk so I don't
- weigh much more than Old Man Hammil there, but even at that those
- suspenders would never do the business.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- How did people kill themselves? He must squeeze his head till the pain let
- up a little, so he could think. Poison! That was it&mdash;yes, poison! And
- then he cackled out a small, dry, throaty laugh, his Adam's apple
- fluttering in his weazened throat under his sandy beard. Poison! He <i>hadn't</i>
- any poison. He hadn't any money with which to buy poison.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then began a long, broken and miserable debate within himself. If he
- had money enough with which to buy poison, would he go and buy poison? Or
- go and buy a bowl of soup? It was some moments before Mr. Gooley decided.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'd be game,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'd buy the soup. I'd give myself that one more
- chance. I must remember while I'm killing myself, that I'm not killing
- myself because I <i>want</i> to. I'm just doing it because I've <i>got</i>
- to. I'm not romantic. I'm just all in. It's the end; that's all.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil, on the footboard of the bed, permitted himself a series of
- gestures which Mr. Gooley construed as applause of this resolution. They
- angered Mr. Gooley, those gestures.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You shut up!&rdquo; he told the cockroach, although that insect had not spoken,
- but only made signs. &ldquo;This is none of your damned business, Old Man
- Hammil!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil, he remembered, had always been a meddlesome old party&mdash;one
- of the village gossips, in fact. And that set him to thinking of Mapletown
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- The mill pond near the schoolhouse would soon be freezing over, and the
- boys would be skating on it&mdash;it was getting into December. And they
- would be going into Old Man Hammil's store for skates and straps and heel
- plates and files. And he remembered his first pair of skates, and how his
- father had taught him the proper way to keep them sharp with a file. He
- and the old dad had always been pretty good pals, and&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- Good God! Why <i>should</i> he be coming back to that? And to Old Man
- Hammil's store? It was that confounded cockroach there, reminding him of
- Old Man Hammil, that had done it. He wanted to die decently and quietly,
- and as quickly as might be, without thinking of all these things. He
- didn't want to lie there and die of starvation, he wanted to kill himself
- and be done with it without further misery&mdash;and it was a part of the
- ridiculous futility of his life, his baffled and broken and insignificant
- life, that he couldn't even kill himself competently&mdash;that he lay
- there suffering and ineffectual and full of self-pity, a prey to memories
- and harassing visions of the past, all mingled with youth and innocence
- and love, without the means of a quick escape. It was that damned
- cockroach, looking like Old Man Hammil, the village hardware merchant,
- that had brought back the village and his youth to him, and all those
- intolerable recollections.
- </p>
- <p>
- He took his dirty pillow and feebly menaced the cockroach. Feeble as the
- gesture was, the insect took alarm. It disappeared from the footboard of
- the bed. A minute later, however, he saw it climbing the wall. It reached
- the ceiling, and crawled to the center of the room. Mr. Goo-ley watched
- it. He felt as if he, too, could crawl along the ceiling. He had the crazy
- notion of trying. After all, he told himself light-headedly, Old Cockroach
- Hammil up there on the ceiling had been friendly&mdash;the only friendly
- thing, human or otherwise, that had made overtures to him in many, many
- months. And he had scared Cockroach Hammil away! He shed some more maudlin
- tears.
- </p>
- <p>
- What was the thing doing now? He watched as the insect climbed on to the
- gas pipe that came down from the ceiling. It descended the rod and perched
- itself on the gas jet. From this point of vantage it began once more to
- regard Mr. Gooley with a singular intentness.
- </p>
- <p>
- Ah! Gas! That was it! What a fool he had been not to think of it sooner!
- That was the way people killed themselves! Gas!
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley got himself weakly out of bed. He would get the thing over as
- quickly as possible now. It would be damnably unpleasant before he lost
- consciousness, no doubt, and painful. But likely not more unpleasant and
- painful than his present state. And he simply could not bear any more of
- those recollections, any more visions.
- </p>
- <p>
- He turned his back on the cockroach, which was watching him from the gas
- jet, and went methodically to work. The window rattled; between the upper
- and lower sashes there was a crevice a quarter of an inch wide. He plugged
- it with paper. There was a break in the wall of his closet; the plaster
- had fallen away, and a chink allowed the cockroaches from his room easy
- access to the closet of the adjoining room. He plugged that also, and was
- about to turn his attention to the keyhole, when there came a knock on his
- door.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley's first thought was: &ldquo;What can any one want with a dead man?&rdquo;
- For he looked upon himself as already dead. There came a second knock,
- more peremptory than the first, and he said mechanically, &ldquo;Come in!&rdquo; It
- would have to be postponed a few minutes, that was all.
- </p>
- <p>
- The door opened, and in walked his landlady. She was a tall and bulky and
- worried-looking woman, who wore a faded blond wig that was always askew,
- and Mr. Gooley was afraid of her. Her wig was more askew than usual when
- she entered, and he gathered from this that she was angry about something&mdash;why
- the devil must she intrude her trivial mundane anger upon himself, a
- doomed man? It was not seemly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she began severely, without preamble, &ldquo;I have always looked
- on you as a gentleman.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes?&rdquo; he murmured dully.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But you ain't,&rdquo; she continued. &ldquo;You ain't no better than a cheat.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He shrugged his shoulders patiently. He supposed that she was right about
- it. He owed her three weeks' room rent, and he was going to die and beat
- her out of it. But he couldn't help it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It ain't the room rent,&rdquo; she went on, as if vaguely cognizant of the
- general trend of his thoughts. &ldquo;It ain't the room rent alone. You either
- pay me that or you don't pay me that, and if you don't, out you go. But
- while you are here, you must conduct yourself as a gentleman should!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; murmured Mr. Gooley, &ldquo;haven't I?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the cockroach, perched on the gas jet above the landlady's head, and
- apparently listening to this conversation, moved several of his legs, as
- if in surprise.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You have not!&rdquo; said the landlady, straightening her wig.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What have I done, Mrs. Hinkley?&rdquo; asked Mr. Gooley humbly. And Old
- Cockroach Hammil from his perch also made signs of inquiry.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What have you done! What have you done!&rdquo; cried Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;As if the
- man didn't know what he had done I You've been stealin' my gas, that's
- what you have been doin'&mdash;stealin', I say, and there's no other word
- for it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley started guiltily. He had not been stealing her gas, but it came
- over him with a shock for the first time that that was what he had, in
- effect, been planning to do. The cockroach, as if it also felt convicted
- of sin, gave the gas jet a glance of horror and moved up the rod to the
- ceiling, where it continued to listen.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Stealin'!&rdquo; repeated Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;That's what it is, nothin' else but
- stealin'. You don't ever stop to think when you use one of them gas plates
- to cook in your room, Mr. Gooley&mdash;which it is expressly forbid and
- agreed on that no cooking shall be done in these rooms when they're rented
- to you&mdash;that it's my gas you're using, and that I have to pay for it,
- and that it's just as much stealin' as if you was to put your hand into my
- pocket-book and take my money!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Cooking? Gas plate?&rdquo; muttered Mr. Gooley. &ldquo;Don't say you ain't got one!&rdquo;
- cried Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;You all got 'em! Every last one of you! Don't you try
- to come none of your sweet innocence dodges over me. I know you, and the
- whole tribe of you! I ain't kept lodgers for thirty years without knowing
- the kind of people they be! 'Gas plate! Gas plate!' says you, as innocent
- as if you didn't know what a gas plate was! You got it hid here
- somewheres, and I ain't going to stir from this room until I get my hands
- on it and squash it under my feet! Come across with it, Mr. Gooley, come
- across with it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>haven't</i> one,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, very ill and very weary. &ldquo;You
- can look, if you want to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he lay back upon the bed. The cockroach slyly withdrew himself from
- the ceiling, came down the wall, and crawled to the foot of the bed again.
- If Mrs. Hinkley noticed him, she said nothing; perhaps it was not a part
- of her professional policy to draw attention to cockroaches on the
- premises. She stood and regarded Mr. Gooley for some moments, while he
- turned his head away from her in apathy. Her first anger seemed to have
- spent itself. But finally, with a new resolution, she said: &ldquo;And look I
- will! You got one, or else that blondined party in the next room has
- lied.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She went into the closet and he heard her opening his trunk. She pulled it
- into the bedroom and examined the interior. It didn't take long. She dived
- under the bed and drew out his battered suitcase, so dilapidated that he
- had not been able to get a quarter for it at the pawnshop, but no more
- dilapidated than his trunk.
- </p>
- <p>
- She seemed struck, for the first time since her entrance, with the utter
- bareness of the room. Outside of the bed, one chair, the bureau, and Mr.
- Cooley's broken shoes at the foot of the bed, there was absolutely nothing
- in it.
- </p>
- <p>
- She sat down in the chair beside the bed. &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you <i>ain't</i>
- got any gas plate.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you got <i>nothing at all.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;nothing.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You had a passel of books and an overcoat five or six weeks ago,&rdquo; she
- said, &ldquo;when you come here. It was seein' them books, and knowing what you
- was four or five years ago, when you lived here once before, that made me
- sure you was a gentleman.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley made no reply. The cockroach on the foot of the bed also seemed
- to be listening to see if Mrs. Hinkley had anything more to say, and
- suspending judgment.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; said the landlady, &ldquo;I beg your pardon. You was lied on by
- one that has a gas plate herself, and when I taxed her with it, and took
- it away from her, and got rid of her, she had the impudence to say she
- thought it was <i>allowed</i>, and that everybody done it, and named you
- as one that did.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mrs. Hinkley paused, but neither Mr. Gooley nor the cockroach had anything
- to contribute to the conversation.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Gas,&rdquo; continued Mrs. Hinkley, &ldquo;is gas. And gas costs money. I hadn't
- orter jumped on you the way I did, Mr. Gooley, but gas plates has got to
- be what you might call corns on my brain, Mr. Gooley. They're my sensitive
- spot, Mr. Gooley. If I was to tell you the half of what I have had to
- suffer from gas plates during the last thirty years, Mr. Gooley, you
- wouldn't believe it! There's them that will cheat you one way and there's
- them that will cheat you another, but the best of them will cheat you with
- gas plates, Mr. Gooley. With the exception of yourself, Mr. Gooley, I
- ain't had a lodger in thirty years that wouldn't rob me on the gas. Some
- don't think it's stealin', Mr. Gooley, when they steal gas. And some of
- 'em don't care if it is. But there ain't none of 'em ever thinks what a <i>landlady</i>
- goes through with, year in and year out.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She paused for a moment, and then, overcome with self-pity, she began to
- sniffle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And my rent's been raised on me again, Mr. Gooley! And I'm a month
- behind! And if I ain't come across with the two months, the old month and
- the new, by day after to-morrow, out I goes; and it means the poorhouse as
- fur as I can see, because I don't know anything else but keeping lodgers,
- and I got no place to go!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She gathered her apron up and wiped her eyes and nose with it. The
- cockroach on the footboard wiped his front set of feet across his face
- sympathetically.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I got it all ready but fifteen dollars,&rdquo; continued Mrs. Hinkley, &ldquo;and
- then in comes the gas bill this morning with <i>arrears</i> onto it. It is
- them <i>arrears</i>, Mr. Gooley, that always knocks me out! If it wasn't
- for them arrears, I could get along. And now I got to pay out part of the
- rent money onto the gas bill, with them arrears on it, or the gas will be
- shut off this afternoon.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The pain in Mr. Gooley's head was getting worse. He wished she would go.
- He hated hearing her troubles. But she continued:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's the way them arrears come onto the bill, Mr. Gooley, that has got me
- sore. About a week before you come here again to live, Mr. Gooley, there
- was a fellow stole fifteen dollars worth of my gas all at once. He went
- and killed himself, Mr. Gooley, and he used my gas to do it with. It
- leaked out of two jets for forty-eight hours up on the top floor, before
- the door was busted in and the body was found, and it came to fifteen
- dollars, and all on account of that man's cussedness, Mr. Gooley, I will
- likely get turned out into the street, and me sixty years old and no place
- to turn.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley sat up in bed feebly and looked at her. She <i>was</i> in real
- trouble&mdash;in about as much trouble as he was. The cockroach walked
- meditatively up and down the footboard, as if thinking it over very
- seriously.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mrs. Hinkley finally rose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, regarding him sharply, &ldquo;you look kind o' done up!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley.
- </p>
- <p>
- She lingered in the room for a few seconds more, irresolutely, and then
- departed.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley thought. Gas was barred to him now. He couldn't bring himself
- to do it with gas. There was still a chance that the old woman might get
- hold of the gas money and the rent money, too, and go on for a few years,
- but if he selfishly stole twelve or fifteen dollars' worth of gas from her
- this afternoon it might be just the thing that would plunge her into
- immediate destitution. At any rate, it was, as she had said, like stealing
- money from her pocketbook. He thought of what her life as a rooming-house
- keeper must have been, and pitied her. He had known many rooming houses.
- The down-and-outers know how to gauge the reality and poignancy of the
- troubles of the down-and-out. No, he simply could not do it with gas.
- </p>
- <p>
- He must think of some other method. He was on the fourth floor. He might
- throw himself out of the window onto the brick walk at the back of the
- building, and die. He shuddered as he thought of it. To jump from a
- twentieth story, or from the top of the Woolworth Tower, to a certain
- death is one thing. To contemplate a fall of three or four stories that
- may maim you without killing you, is another.
- </p>
- <p>
- Nevertheless, he would do it. He pulled the paper out of the crevice
- between the window sashes, opened the window and looked down. He saw the
- back stoop and there was a dirty mop beside it; there was an ash can, and
- there were two garbage cans there. And there was a starved cat that sat
- and looked up at him. He had a tremor and drew back and covered his face
- with his hands as he thought of that cat&mdash;that knowing cat, that
- loathsome, that obscene cat.
- </p>
- <p>
- He sat down on the edge of the bed to collect his strength and summon his
- resolution. The cockroach had crawled to the head of the bed and seemed to
- wish to partake of his thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Damn you, Old Archibald Hammil!&rdquo; he cried. And he scooped the cockroach
- into his hand with a sudden sweep and flung it out of the window. The
- insect fell without perceptible discomfort, and at once began to climb up
- the outside wall again, making for the window.
- </p>
- <p>
- The door opened and Mrs. Hinkley entered, her face cleft with a grin, and
- a tray in her hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, setting it on the wash-stand, &ldquo;I'll bet you ain't
- had nothing to eat today!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- On the tray was a bowl of soup, a half loaf of bread with a long keen
- bread knife, a pat of butter, a boiled egg and a cup of coffee.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No, nor yesterday, either,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, and he looked at the soup
- and at the long keen bread knife.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Here's something else I want to show you, Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; said the landlady,
- dodging out of the door and back in again instantly. She bore in her hands
- this time a surprising length of flexible gas tubing, and a small
- nickel-plated pearl-handled revolver.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You see that there gas tubing?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That is what that blondined party in the next room had on to her gas
- plate&mdash;the nerve of her! Strung from the gas jet clear across the
- room to the window sill. And when I throwed her out, Mr. Gooley, she
- wouldn't pay her rent, and I took this here revolver to part pay it. What
- kind of a woman is it, Mr. Gooley, that has a revolver in her room, and a
- loaded one, too?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Just then the doorbell rang in the dim lower regions, and she left the
- room to answer it.
- </p>
- <p>
- And Mr. Gooley sat and looked at the knife, with which he might so easily
- stab himself, and at the gas cord, with which he might so easily hang
- himself, and at the loaded revolver, with which he might so easily shoot
- himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- He looked also at the bowl of soup.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had the strength to reflect&mdash;a meal is a meal. But <i>after</i>
- that meal, what? Penniless, broken in health, friendless, a failure&mdash;why
- prolong it for another twenty-four hours? A meal would prolong it, but
- that was all a meal <i>would</i> do&mdash;and after that would come the
- suffering and the despair and the end to be faced all over again.
- </p>
- <p>
- Was he man enough to take the pistol and do it now?
- </p>
- <p>
- Or did true manhood lie the other way? Was he man enough to drink the
- soup, and dare to live and hope?
- </p>
- <p>
- Just then the cockroach, which had climbed into the window and upon the
- washstand, made for the bowl of soup.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Here!&rdquo; cried Mr. Gooley, grabbing the bowl in both hands, &ldquo;Old Man
- Hammil! Get away from that soup!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the bowl being in his hands, he drank.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What do you mean by Old Man Hammil?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was Mrs. Hinkley who spoke. She stood again in the doorway, with a
- letter in her hands and a look of wonder on her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley set down the soup bowl. By an effort of the will he had only
- drunk half the liquid. He had heard somewhere that those who are suffering
- from starvation had better go slow at first when they get hold of food
- again. And he already felt better, warmed and resurrected, from the first
- gulp.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What,&rdquo; demanded the landlady, &ldquo;do you mean by yelling out about Old Man
- Hammil?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, feeling foolish, and looking it, &ldquo;I was talking to
- that cockroach there. He looks sort of like some one I knew when I was a
- kid, by the name of Hammil&mdash;Archibald Hammil.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Where</i> was you a kid?&rdquo; asked Mrs. Hinkley.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;In a place called Mapletown&mdash;Mapletown, Illinois,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley.
- &ldquo;There's where I knew Old Man Hammil.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the landlady, &ldquo;when you go back there you won't see him. He's
- dead. He died a week ago. This letter tells it. I was his niece. And the
- old man went and left me his hardware store. I never expected it. But all
- his kids is dead&mdash;it seems he outlived 'em all, and he was nearly
- ninety when he passed away.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, &ldquo;I don't remember you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You wouldn't,&rdquo; said the landlady. &ldquo;You must have been in short pants when
- I ran away from home and married the hardware drummer. But I'll bet you
- the old-timers in that burg still remembers it against me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The kids will be coming into that store about now to get their skates
- sharpened,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, looking at the boiled egg.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh!&rdquo; said Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;Don't you want to go back home and help
- sharpen 'em? I'm goin' back and run that there store, and I'll need a
- clerk, I suppose.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, breaking the eggshell.
- </p>
- <p>
- The cockroach, busy with a crumb on the floor, waved his three starboard
- legs genially at Mr. Gooley and Mrs. Hinkley&mdash;as if, in fact, he were
- winking with his feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- IV.&mdash;McDermott
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">M</span>cDermott had gone
- over with a cargo of mules. The animals were disembarked at a Channel
- port, received by officers of that grand organization which guesses right
- so frequently, the Quartermaster Corps, and started in a southerly
- direction, in carload lots, toward the Toul sector of the Western Front.
- McDermott went with one of the carloads in an unofficial capacity. He had
- no business in the war zone. But the Quartermaster Corps, or that part of
- it in charge of his particular car, was in no mood to be harsh toward any
- one who seemed to understand the wants and humors of mules and who was
- willing to associate with them. And so, with his blue overalls and his red
- beard, McDermott went along.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll have a look at the war,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;and if I like it, I'll
- jine it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And if you don't like it,&rdquo; said the teamster to whom he confided his
- intention, &ldquo;I reckon you'll stop it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dunno,&rdquo; replied McDermott, &ldquo;as I would be justified in stoppin' a good
- war. The McDermotts has niver been great hands f'r stoppin' wars. The
- McDermotts is always more like to be startin' wars.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott got a look at the war sooner than any one, including the high
- command of the Entente Allies, would have thought likely&mdash;or, rather,
- the war got a look at McDermott. The carload of mules, separated from its
- right and proper train, got too far eastward at just the time the Germans
- got too far westward. It was in April, 1918, that, having entered
- Hazebrouck from the north, McDermott and his mules left it again, bound
- eastward. They passed through a turmoil of guns and lorries, Scotchmen and
- ambulances, Englishmen, tanks and ammunition wagons, Irishmen, colonials
- and field kitchens, all moving slowly eastward, and came to a halt at a
- little village where they should not have been at all, halfway between the
- northern rim of the forest of Nieppe and Bailleul.
- </p>
- <p>
- The mules did not stay there long.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll stretch me legs a bit,&rdquo; said McDermott, climbing off the car and
- strolling toward a Grande Place surrounded by sixteenth-century
- architecture. And just then something passed over the Renaissance roofs
- with the scream of one of Dante's devils, struck McDermott's car of mules
- with a great noise and a burst of flame, and straightway created a
- situation in which there was neither car nor mules.
- </p>
- <p>
- For a minute it seemed to McDermott that possibly there was no McDermott,
- either. When McDermott regained consciousness of McDermott, he was sitting
- on the ground, and he sat there and felt of himself for many seconds
- before he spoke or rose. Great guns he had been hearing for hours, and a
- rattle and roll of small-arms fire had been getting nearer all that day;
- but it seemed to McDermott that there was something quite vicious and
- personal about the big shell that had separated him forever from his
- mules. Not that he had loved the mules, but he loved McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mules,&rdquo; said he, still sitting on the ground, but trying to get his
- philosophy of life on to its legs again, &ldquo;is here wan minute an' gawn the
- nixt. Mules is fickle an' untrustworthy animals. Here was thim mules,
- wigglin' their long ears and arsk-in' f'r Gawd's sake c'u'd they have a
- dhrink of wather, an' promisin' a lifelong friendship&mdash;but where is
- thim mules now?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He scratched his red head as he spoke, feeling-of an old scar under the
- thick thatch of hair. The wound had been made some years previously with a
- bung starter, and whenever McDermott was agitated he caressed it tenderly.
- </p>
- <p>
- He got up, turned about and regarded the extraordinary Grande Place. There
- had once been several pretty little shops about it, he could see, with
- pleasant courtyards, where the April sun was trying to bring green things
- into life again, but now some of these were in newly made and smoking
- ruins. The shell that had stricken McDermott's mules from the roster of
- existence had not been the only one to fall into the village recently.
- </p>
- <p>
- But it was neither old ruins nor new ruins that interested McDermott
- chiefly. It was the humanity that flowed through the Grande Place in a
- feeble trickle westward, and the humanity that stayed there.
- </p>
- <p>
- Women and old men went by with household treasures slung in bundles or
- pushed before them in carts and perambulators, and they were wearing their
- best clothes, as if they were going to some village fête, instead of into
- desolation and homelessness; the children whom they carried, or who
- straggled after them, were also in their holiday best. Here was an ancient
- peasant with a coop of skinny chickens on a barrow; there was a girl in a
- silk gown carrying something in a bed quilt; yonder was a boy of twelve on
- a bicycle, and two things were tied to the handlebars&mdash;a loaf of
- bread and a soldier's bayonet. Perhaps it had been his father's bayonet.
- Quietly they went westward; their lips were dumb and their faces showed
- their souls were dumb, too. A long time they had heard the battle growling
- to the eastward; and now the war was upon them. It was upon them, indeed;
- for as McDermott gazed, another shell struck full upon a bell-shaped tower
- that stood at the north side of the Grande Place and it leaped up in
- flames and fell in dust and ruin, all gone but one irregular point of
- masonry that still stuck out like a snaggle tooth from a trampled skull.
- </p>
- <p>
- These were the ones that were going, and almost the last of the dreary
- pageant disappeared as McDermott watched. But those who stayed astonished
- him even more by their strange actions and uncouth postures.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't tell me,&rdquo; mumbled McDermott, rubbing his scar, &ldquo;that all thim
- sojers is aslape!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But asleep they were. To the east and to the north the world was one rip
- and rat-a-tat of rifle and machine-gun fire&mdash;how near, McDermott
- could not guess&mdash;and over the village whined and droned the shells,
- of great or lesser caliber; here was one gate to a hell of noise, and the
- buildings stirred and the budding vines in the courtyards moved and the
- dust itself was agitated with the breath and blast of far and near
- concussions; but yet the big open Place itself was held in the grip of a
- grotesque and incredible slumber.
- </p>
- <p>
- Sprawled in the gutters, collapsed across the doorsills, leaning against
- the walls, slept that portion of the British army; slept strangely,
- without snoring. In the middle of the Grande Place there was a young
- lieutenant bending forward across the wreck of a motor car; he had tried
- to pluck forth a basket from the tonneau and sleep had touched him with
- his fingers on the handle. And from the eastern fringes of the village
- there entered the square, as actors enter upon a stage, a group of a dozen
- men, with their arms linked together, swaying and dazed and stumbling. At
- first McDermott thought that wounded were being helped from the field. But
- these men were not wounded; they were walking in their sleep, and the
- group fell apart, as McDermott looked at them, and sank severally to the
- cobblestones. Scotchmen, Canadians, English, torn and battered remnants of
- many different commands, they had striven with their guns and bodies for
- more than a week to dam the vast, rising wave of the German attack&mdash;day
- melting into night and night burning into day again, till there was no
- such thing as time to them any longer; there were but two things in the
- world, battle and weariness, weariness and battle.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott moved across the square unchallenged. He had eaten and slept but
- little for two days himself, and he made instinctively for the open door
- of an empty inn, to search for food. In the doorway he stumbled across a
- lad who roused and spoke to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jack,&rdquo; said the boy, looking at him with red eyes out of an old, worn
- face, &ldquo;have you got the makin's?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He was in a ragged and muddied Canadian uniform, but McDermott guessed
- that he was an American.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I have that,&rdquo; said McDermott, producing papers and tobacco. But the boy
- had lapsed into slumber again. McDermott rolled the cigarette for him,
- placed it between his lips, waked him and lighted it for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- The boy took a puff or two, and then said dreamily: &ldquo;And what the hell are
- you doin' here with them blue overalls on?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I come to look at the war,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The soldier glanced around the Grande Place, and a gleam of deviltry
- flashed through his utter exhaustion. &ldquo;So you come to see the war, huh?
- Well, don't you wake it now. It's restin'. But if you'll take a chair and
- set down, I'll have it&mdash;called&mdash;for&mdash;you&mdash;in&mdash;in&mdash;in
- 'n 'our&mdash;or so&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- His voice tailed off into sleep once more; he mangled the cigarette, the
- tobacco mingling with the scraggly beard about his drawn mouth; his head
- fell forward upon his chest. McDermott stepped past him into the Hôtel
- Faucon, as the inn had called itself. He found no food, but he found
- liquor there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Frinch booze,&rdquo; said McDermott, getting the cork out of a bottle of brandy
- and sniffing it; &ldquo;but booze is booze!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And more booze is more booze, especially upon an empty stomach. It was
- after the fourth drink that McDermott pulled his chair up to one of the
- open windows of the inn and sat down, with the brandy beside him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm neglictin' that war I come all this way to see,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Grande Place, still shaken by the tremendous and unceasing pulsations
- of battle, far and near, was beginning to wake up. A fresh, or, at least,
- a fresher, battalion was arriving over the spur line of railroad along
- which McDermott's mules had been so mistakenly shunted, and was moving
- eastward through the town to the firing line. The men whom McDermott had
- seen asleep were rising at the word of command; taking their weapons,
- falling in, and staggering back to the interminable battle once more.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dunno,&rdquo; mused McDermott, as the tired men straggled past, &ldquo;whether I
- want to be afther j'inin' that war or not. It makes all thim lads that
- slapey! I dunno phwat the devil it is, the Frinch booze bein' so close to
- me, inside, or that war so close to me, outside, but I'm gittin' slapey
- m'silf.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was, likely, the brandy. There had not been a great deal of French
- brandy in McDermott's previous experience, and he did not stint himself.
- It was somewhere between the ninth and the fifteenth swallows of it that
- McDermott remarked to himself, rubbing the scar on his head:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I w'u'd jine that war now, if I c'u'd be sure which way it had wint!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then he slid gently out of his chair and went to sleep on the floor
- just inside the open window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- The war crept closer and took another look at McDermott. As the warm
- golden afternoon waned, the British troops, fighting like fiends for every
- inch of ground, exacting a ghastly toll of lives from the Germans, were
- forced back into the eastern outskirts of the town. There, with rifle and
- machine gun, from walls, trees, courtyards, roofs and ruins, they held the
- advancing Germans for an hour. But they were pushed back again, doggedly
- establishing themselves in the houses of the Grande Place. Neither British
- nor Germans were dropping shells into that village now, each side fearful
- of damaging its own men.
- </p>
- <p>
- A British subaltern with a machine gun and two private soldiers entered
- the inn and were setting the gun up at McDermott's window when a German
- bullet struck the officer and he fell dead across the slumbering
- McDermott. Nevertheless, the gun was manned and fought for half an hour
- above McDermott, who stirred now and then, but did not waken. Just at dusk
- an Irish battalion struck the Germans on the right flank of their
- assaulting force, a half mile to the north of the village, rolled them
- back temporarily, and cleared the village of them. This counter attack
- took the firing line a good thousand yards eastward once more.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott roused, crawled from beneath the body of the British officer,
- and viewed it with surprise. &ldquo;That war has been here ag'in an' me aslape,&rdquo;
- said McDermott. &ldquo;I might jine that war if I c'u'd ketch up wid it&mdash;but
- 'tis here, 'tis there, 'tis gawn ag'in! An' how c'u'd I jine it wid no
- weapons, not even a good thick club to m' hands?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He foraged and found a piece of sausage that he had overlooked in his
- former search, ate it greedily and then stood in the doorway, listening to
- the sound of the firing. It was getting dark and northward toward Messines
- and Wytschaete and southward for more miles than he could guess the
- lightning of big guns flickered along the sky.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Anny way I w'u'd go,&rdquo; mused McDermott, &ldquo;I w'u'd run into that war if I
- was thryin' to dodge ut. And anny wray I w'u'd go, I w'u'd miss that war
- if I was thryin' to come up wid ut. An' till I make up me mind which wan I
- want to do, here will I sthay.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He opened another bottle of brandy, and drank and cogitated. Whether it
- was the cogitation or the drinks or the effect of the racket of war, his
- head began to ache dully. When McDermott's scar ached, it was his custom
- to take another drink. After a while there came a stage at which, if it
- still ached, he at least ceased to feel it aching any more.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The hotel here,&rdquo; he remarked, &ldquo;is filled wid hospitality and midical
- tratement, and where bet-ther c'u'd I be?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And presently, once more, a deep sleep overtook him. A deeper, more
- profound sleep, indeed, than his former one. And this time the war came
- still nearer to McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The British were driven back again and again occupied the town, the
- Germans in close pursuit. From house to house and from wall to wall the
- struggle went on, with grenade, rifle and bayonet. A German, with a
- Scotchman's steel in his chest, fell screaming, back through the open
- window, and his blood as he died soaked McDermott's feet. But McDermott
- slept. Full night came, thick and cloudy, and both sides sent up floating
- flares. The square was strewn with the bodies of the dead and the bodies
- of the maimed in increasing numbers; the wounded groaned and whimpered in
- the shadows of the trampled Place, crawling, if they still could crawl, to
- whatever bit of broken wall seemed to offer momentary shelter and praying
- for the stretcher bearers to be speedy. But still McDermott slept.
- </p>
- <p>
- At ten o'clock that night two Englishmen once more brought a machine gun
- into the Hôtel Fauçon; they worked the weapon for twenty minutes from the
- window within ten feet of which McDermott now lay with his brandy bottle
- beside him. Once McDermott stirred; he sat up sleepily on the floor and
- murmured: &ldquo;An' where is that war now? Begad, an' I don't belave there is
- anny war!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he rolled over and went to sleep again. The men with the machine gun
- did not notice him; they were too busy. A moment later one of them sank
- with a bullet through his heart. His comrade lasted a little longer, and
- then he, too, went down, a wound in his lungs. It took him some weary
- minutes to choke and bleed to death, there in that dark place, upon the
- floor, among the dead men and McDermott's brandy bottles and the heap of
- ammunition he had brought with him. Hist struggle did not wake McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- By midnight the British had been driven back until they held the houses at
- the west end of the town and the end of the spur railroad that came
- eastward from Hazebrouck. The Germans were in the eastern part of the
- village, and between was a &ldquo;no man's land,&rdquo; of which the Grande Place was
- a part. What was left of the Hôtel Faucon, with the sleeping McDermott in
- it, was toward the middle of the south side of the square. In the streets
- to the north and south of the Place patrols still clashed with grenade and
- bayonet and rifle, but the Germans attempted no further advance in any
- force after midnight. No doubt they were bringing up more men; no doubt,
- with the first morning light, they would move forward a regiment or two,
- possibly even a division, against the British who still clung stubbornly
- to the western side of the town. All the way from Wytschaete south to
- Givenchy the battle-line was broken up into many little bitter struggles
- of this sort, the British at every point facing great odds.
- </p>
- <p>
- When dawn came, there came with it a mist. And three men of a German
- patrol, creeping from house to house and ruin to ruin along the south side
- of that part of &ldquo;no man's land&rdquo; which was the Grande Place, entered the
- open door of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- One of them stepped upon McDermott's stomach, where he lay sleeping and
- dreaming of the war he had come to look at.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott, when he had been drinking, was often cross. And especially was
- he cross if, when sleeping off his liquor, some one purposely or
- inadvertently interfered with his rightful and legitimate rest. When this
- coarse and heavy-footed intruder set his boot, albeit unwittingly, upon
- McDermott's stomach, McDermott sat up with a bellow of rage, instinctively
- and instantaneously grabbed the leg attached to the boot, rose as burning
- rocks rise from a volcano, with the leg in his hands, upset the man
- attached to the leg, and jumped with two large feet accurately upon the
- back of that person's neck. Whereupon the Boche went to Valhalla.
- McDermott, though nearer fifty than forty years old, was a barroom fighter
- of wonderful speed and technique, and this instinctive and spontaneous
- maneuver was all one motion, just as it is all one motion when a cat in a
- cellar leaps over a sack of potatoes, lands upon a rat, and sinks her
- teeth into a vital spot. The second German and the third German hung back
- an instant toward the door, and then came on toward the moving shadow in
- the midst of shadows. For their own good they should have come on without
- hanging back that second; but perhaps their training, otherwise so
- efficient, did not include barroom tactics. Their hesitation gave
- McDermott just the time he needed, for when he faced them he had the first
- German's gun in his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No war,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;can come into me slapin' chamber and stand on
- me stomach like that, and expict me to take it peaceful!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- With the words he fired the first German's rifle into the second German.
- The third German, to the rear of the second one, fired his gun
- simultaneously, but perhaps he was a hit flurried, for he also fired
- directly into the second German, and there was nothing the second German
- could do but die; which he did at once. McDermott leaped at the third
- German with his rifle clubbed just as the man pressed the trigger again.
- The bullet struck McDermott's rifle, splintered the butt of it and knocked
- it from his hands; but a second later McDermott's hands were on the barrel
- of the German's gun and the two of them were struggling for it.
- </p>
- <p>
- There is one defect in the German military system, observers say: the
- drill masters do not teach their men independent thinking; perhaps the
- drill-masters do not have the most promising material to work upon. At any
- rate, it occurred to McDermott to kick the third German in the stomach
- while the third German was still thinking of nothing else than trying to
- depress the gun to shoot or bayonet McDermott. Thought and kick were as
- well coordinated as if they had proceeded from one of McDermott's late
- mules.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Boche went to the floor of the Hôtel Faucon with a groan. &ldquo;Gott!&rdquo; he
- said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A stomach f'r a stomach,&rdquo; said Mc-Dermott, standing over him with the
- rifle. &ldquo;Git up!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The German painfully arose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye are me prisoner,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;an' the furst wan I iver took.
- Hould up y'r hands! Hould thim up, I say! Not over y'r stomach, man, but
- over y'r head!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The Boche complied hurriedly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see ye understhand United States,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I was afraid ye
- might not, an' I w'u'd have to shoot ye.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Kamerad!</i>&rdquo; exclaimed the man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye are no comrade av mine,&rdquo; said McDermott, peering at the man's face
- through the eery halflight of early morning, &ldquo;an' comrade av mine ye niver
- was! I know ye well! Ye are Goostave Schmidt b' name, an' wanst ye tinded
- bar in a dive down b' the Brooklyn wather front!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The man stared at McDermott in silence for a long minute, and then
- recollection slowly came to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;MagDermodd!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Batrick MagDermodd!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The same,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Gott sei dank!</i>&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;I haf fallen into der hands of a
- friend.&rdquo; And with the beginning of a smile he started to lower his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Put thim up!&rdquo; cried McDermott. &ldquo;Don't desave y'silf! Ye are no fri'nd av
- mine!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The smile faded, and something like a look of panic took its place on the
- German's face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Th' last time I saw ye, ye was in bad company, f'r ye was alone,&rdquo; said
- McDermott. &ldquo;An' I come over here lookin' f'r ye, an' I find ye in bad
- company ag'in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Looking?&rdquo; said the German with quite sincere perplexity. &ldquo;You gome here
- <i>looking</i> for me?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The wonder on the man's face at this unpremeditated jest of his having
- crossed the Atlantic especially to look for Gustave Schmidt titillated
- McDermott's whole being. But he did not laugh, and he let the German
- wonder. &ldquo;And phwy sh'u'd I not?&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- The German thought intensely for a while. &ldquo;Why <i>should</i> you gome all
- der vay agross der Adlandic looking for <i>me?</i>&rdquo; he said finally.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye have a short mimory,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;Ye do not recollict the time ye
- hit me on the head wid a bung starter whin I was too soused to defind
- m'silf? The scar is there yet, bad luck to ye!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But dot was nudding,&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;Dot bung-starder business was all
- a bart of der day's vork.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But ye cript up behint me,&rdquo; said McDermott; &ldquo;an' me soused!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But dot was der bractical vay to do it,&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;Dot was
- nuddings at all, dot bung-starder business. I haf forgodden it long ago!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The McDermotts remimber thim compliments longer,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;An' b'
- rights I sh'u'd give ye wan good clout wid this gun and be done wid ye.
- But I'm thinkin' I may be usin' ye otherwise.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You gome all der vay agross der Adlandic yoost because I hit you on der
- head mit a bung starder?&rdquo; persisted the German, still wondering. &ldquo;Dot,
- MagDermodd, I cannot belief&mdash;<i>Nein!</i>&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And ye tore up y'r citizenship papers and come all the way across the
- Atlantic just to jine this gang av murtherin' child-killers,&rdquo; said
- McDermott. &ldquo;That I c'n belave! Yis!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I haf not dorn up my American cidizen papers&mdash;<i>Nein!</i>&rdquo;
- exclaimed the German, earnestly. &ldquo;Dose I haf kept. I gome across to fight
- for mein Faderland&mdash;dot vas orders. <i>Ja!</i> But mein American
- cidizenship papers I haf kept, and ven der war is ofer I shall go back to
- Brooklyn and once more an American citizen be, undill der next war. <i>Ja!</i>
- You haf not understood, but dot is der vay of it. <i>Ja!</i>&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Goostave,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;ye have too many countries workin' f'r ye.
- But y'r takin' ordhers from m'silf now&mdash;do ye get that? C'n ye play
- that musical insthrumint there by the window?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Ja!</i>&rdquo; said Gustave. &ldquo;Dot gun I can vork. Dot is der Lewis machine
- gun. Id is not so good a gun as our machine gun, for our machine gun haf
- been a colossal sugcess, but id is a goot gun.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye been fightin' f'r the Kaiser f'r three or four years, Goostave,&rdquo; said
- McDermott, menacing him with his rifle, &ldquo;but this mornin' I'll be afther
- seein' that ye do a bit av work f'r thim citizenship papers, an', later,
- ye can go to hell, if ye like, an' naturalize y'rsilf in still a third
- country. Ye will shoot Germans wid that gun till I get the hang av the
- mechanism m'silf. And thin I will shoot Germans wid that gun. But furst,
- ye will give me that fancy tin soup-bowl ye're wearin'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Gustave handed over his helmet. McDermott put it on his red head.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I've been thinkin',&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;will I jine this war, or will I not
- jine it. An' the only way ye c'n tell do ye like a thing or do ye not is
- to thry it wance. Wid y'r assistance, Goostave, I'll thry it this mornin',
- if anny more av it comes my way.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- More of it was coming his way. The Germans, tired of trifling with the
- small British force which held the village, had brought up the better part
- of a division during the night and were marshaling the troops for their
- favorite feat of arms, an overwhelming frontal attack <i>en masse</i>. The
- British had likewise received reinforcements, drawing from the north and
- from the south every man the hard-pressed lines could spare. But they were
- not many, perhaps some three thousand men in all, to resist the massed
- assault, with the railroad for its objective, which would surely come with
- dawn. If troops were needed in the village they were no less needed on the
- lines that flanked it. The little town, which had been the scene of so
- much desperate skirmishing the day before and during the first half of the
- night, was now about to become the ground of something like a battle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's a French division on the way,&rdquo; said the British colonel in
- command in the village to one of his captains. &ldquo;If we can only hold them
- for an hour&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not finish the sentence. As he spoke the German bombardment,
- precedent to the infantry attack, began to comb the western fringes of the
- town and the railroad line behind, searching for the hurriedly-digged and
- shallow trenches, the improvised dugouts, the shell holes, the cellars and
- the embankments where the British lay. The British guns to the rear of the
- village made answer, and the uproar tore the mists of dawn to tatters. A
- shell fell short, into the middle of the Grande Place, and McDermott saw
- the broken motor car against which the sleeping lieutenant had leaned the
- day before vanish into nothingness; and then a house directly opposite the
- Hôtel Fauçon jumped into flame and was no more. Looking out across the
- back of the stooping Gustave at the window, McDermott muttered, &ldquo;I dunno
- as I w'u'd want to jine that war.&rdquo; And then he bellowed in Gustave
- Schmidt's ear: &ldquo;Cut loose! Cut loose wid y'rgun! Cut loose!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I vill not!&rdquo; shrieked Gustave. &ldquo;Mein Gott! Dat is mein own regiment!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye lie!&rdquo; shouted McDermott. &ldquo;Ye will!&rdquo; He thrust a bit of bayonet into
- the fleshiest part of the German's back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I vill! I vill!&rdquo; cried Gustave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye will that,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;an' the less damned nonsinse I hear from
- ye about y'r own rigimint the betther f'r ye! Ye're undher me own ordhers
- till I c'n make up me mind about this war.&rdquo; The mists were rising. In the
- clearing daylight at the eastern end of the square, as if other clouds
- were moving forward with a solid front, appeared the first gray wave of
- the German infantry. Close packed, shoulder to shoulder, three deep, they
- came, almost filling the space from side to side of the Grande Place,
- moving across that open stretch against the British fire with a certain
- heavy-footed and heavy-brained contempt of everything before them. Ten
- steps, and the British machine guns and rifles caught them. The first
- wave, or half of it, went down in a long writhing windrow, across the east
- end of the square, and in the instant that he saw it squirm and toss
- before the trampling second wave swept over it and through it, the
- twisting gray-clad figures on the stones reminded McDermott of the heaps
- of heaving worms he used to see at the bottom of his bait-can when he went
- fishing as a boy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hold that nozzle lower, Goostave!&rdquo; he yelled to his captive. &ldquo;Spray thim!
- Spray thim! Ye're shootin' over their heads, ye lumberin' Dutchman, ye!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Gott!</i>&rdquo; cried Gustave, as another jab of the bayonet urged him to
- his uncongenial task.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then McDermott made one of the few errors of his military career.
- Whether it was the French brandy he had drunk to excess the night before,
- or whether it was the old bung-starter wound on his head, which always
- throbbed and jumped when he became excited, his judgment deserted him for
- an instant. For one instant he forgot that there must be no instants free
- from the immediate occupation of guiding and directing Gustave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Let me see if I can't work that gun m'self,&rdquo; he cried.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he relaxed his vigilance, pushing the German to one side, the Boche
- suddenly struck him upon the jaw. McDermott reeled and dropped his rifle;
- before he could recover himself, the German had it. The weapon swung
- upward in the air and&mdash;just then a shell burst outside the open
- window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- Both men were flung from their feet by the concussion. For a moment
- everything was blank to McDermott. And then, stretching out his hand to
- rise, his fingers encountered something smooth and hard upon the floor.
- Automatically his grasp closed over it and he rose. At the same instant
- the German struggled to his feet, one hand behind his back, and the other
- extended, as if in entreaty.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Kamerad</i>,&rdquo; he whined, and even as he whined he lurched nearer and
- flung at McDermott a jagged, broken bottle. McDermott ducked, and the
- dagger-like glass splintered on his helmet. And then McDermott struck&mdash;once.
- Once was enough. The Boche sank to the floor without a groan, lifeless.
- McDermott looked at him, and then, for the first time, looked at what he
- held in his own hand, the weighty thing which he had wielded so
- instinctively and with such ferocity. It was the bung starter of the Hôtel
- Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Goostave niver knowed what hit him,&rdquo; said McDermott. And if there had
- been any one to hear, in all that din, a note of regret that Gustave never
- knew might have been remarked in his voice.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott turned his attention to the machine gun, which, with its tripod,
- had been knocked to the floor. He squatted, with his head below the level
- of the window sill, and looked it over.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Tis not broken,&rdquo; he decided, after some moments of examination. &ldquo;Did
- Goostave do it so? Or did he do it so?&rdquo; He removed his helmet and rubbed
- the scar under his red hair reflectively. &ldquo;If I was to make up me mind to
- jine that war,&rdquo; mused McDermott, &ldquo;this same w'u'd be a handy thing to take
- wid me. It w'u'd that! Now, did that Goostave that used to be here pull
- this pretty little thingumajig so? Or did he pull it so? Ihaveut! He
- pulled it so! And thim ca'tridges, now&mdash;do they feed in so? Or do
- they feed in so? 'T w'u'd be a handy thing, now, f'r a man that had anny
- intintions av jinin' the war to know about all thim things!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, patiently, McDermott studied the mechanism, while the red sunlight
- turned to yellow in the Grande Place outside, and the budding green vines
- withered along the broken walls, and the stones ran blood, and the Hôtel
- Fauçon began to fall to pieces about his ears. McDermott did not hurry; he
- felt that there was no need to hurry; he had not yet made up his mind
- whether he intended to participate in this war. By the time he had learned
- how to work that machine gun, and had used it on the Germans for a while,
- he thought, he might be vouchsafed some light on that particular subject.
- It was one of McDermott's fixed beliefs that he was an extremely cautious
- sort of man, though many of his acquaintances thought of him differently,
- and he told himself that he must not get too far into this war until he
- was sure that it was going to be congenial. So far, it promised well.
- </p>
- <p>
- And also, McDermott, as he puzzled over the machine gun, was not quite the
- normal McDermott. He was, rather, a supernormal McDermott. He had been
- awakened rudely from an alcoholic slumber and he had been rather busy ever
- since; so many things had taken place in his immediate neighborhood, and
- were still taking place, that he was not quite sure of their reality. As
- he sat on the floor and studied the weapon, he was actually, from moment
- to moment, more than half convinced that he was dreaming&mdash;he might
- awaken and find that that war had eluded him again. Perhaps he is scarcely
- to be chided for being in what is sometimes known as a state of mind.
- </p>
- <p>
- And while McDermott was looking at the machine gun, the British commander
- prayed, as a greater British commander before him had prayed one time, for
- assistance, only this one did not pray for night or Blucher as Wellington
- had done. Night was many hours beyond all hope and would probably bring
- its own hell when it came, and as for Prussians, there were too many
- Prussians now. His men would hold on; they had been holding on for epic
- days and unbelievable nights, and they would still hold while there was
- breath in their bodies, and when their bodies were breathless they would
- hold one minute more. But&mdash;God! For Foch's <i>poilus!</i> There is a
- moment which is the ultimate moment; the spirit can drag the body until&mdash;until
- spirit and body are wrenched into two things. No longer. His men could die
- in their tracks; they were dying where they stood and crouched and lay, by
- dozens and by scores and by heroic hundreds&mdash;but when they were dead,
- who would bar the way to Hazebrouck, and beyond Hazebrouck, to the channel
- ports?
- </p>
- <p>
- That way was all but open now, if the enemy but realized it. Any moment
- they might discover it. A half-mile to the south of the village the line
- was so thinly held that one strong, quick thrust must make a gap. Let the
- enemy but fling a third of the troops he was pounding to pieces in the
- bloody streets of the town, in the torn fields that flanked it, and in the
- shambles of the Grande Place that was the center of this action, at that
- weak spot, and all was over. But with a fury mechanical, insensate, the
- Germans still came on in direct frontal attacks.
- </p>
- <p>
- The British had slain and slain and slain, firing into the gray masses
- until the water boiled in the jackets of the machine guns. Five attacks
- had broken down in the Grande Place itself&mdash;and now a sixth was
- forming. Should he still hold fast, the colonel asked himself, or should
- he retire, saving what machine guns he might, and flinging a desperate
- detachment southward in the attempt to make a stronger right flank? But to
- do that might be the very move that would awaken the Germans to their
- opportunity there. So long as they pounded, pounded at his center, he
- would take a toll of them, at least&mdash;but the moment was coming&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I have ut!&rdquo; cried McDermott, and mounted his gun at the window.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is time to retire,&rdquo; said the British colonel, and was about to give
- the order.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Right in their bloody backs,&rdquo; said McDermott to himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- And so it was. For the sixth advance of the German masses had carried them
- well into the Grande Place. McDermott, crouched at his window, cut loose
- with his gun at pointblank range as the first wave, five men deep, passed
- by him, splashing along the thick ranks from behind as one might sweep a
- garden hose down a row of vegetables. Taken thus in the rear, ambushed,
- with no knowledge of the strength of the attacking force behind them, the
- German shock troops swayed and staggered, faced about and fell and broke.
- For right into the milling herd of them, and into the second advancing
- wave, the British poured their bullets. The colonel, who had been about to
- order a retreat, ordered a charge, and before the stampeded remnant of the
- first two waves could recover themselves the British were on them with
- grenades and bayonets, flinging them back into the third wave, just
- advancing to their support, in a bleeding huddle of defeat.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott saw the beginning of that charge, and with his bung starter in
- his hand he rushed from the door to join it. But he did not see the end of
- it, nor did he see the <i>poilus</i>, as they came slouching into the
- village five minutes later to give the repulse weight and confirmation,
- redolent of onions and strange stews, but with their bayonets&mdash;those
- bayonets that are part of the men who wield them, living things, instinct
- with the beautiful, straight, keen soul of France herself.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott did not see them, for some more of the Hôtel Fauçon had fallen
- on him, crushing one of his ankles and giving him a clout on the head.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Whoever it was turned loose that machine gun from the inn window, did the
- trick,&rdquo; said the colonel, later. &ldquo;It's hardly too much to say that he
- blocked the way to Hazebrouck&mdash;for the time, at least, if one man can
- be said to have done such a thing&mdash;what's that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That&rdquo; was McDermott, who was being carried forth, unconscious, to an
- ambulance. It was his blue overalls that had occasioned the colonel's
- surprise. He was neither French nor British nor German; palpably he was a
- civilian, and a civilian who had no business there. And in his hand he
- clasped a bung starter. His fingers were closed over it so tightly that in
- the base hospital later they found difficulty in taking it away from him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Owing, no doubt, to the blow on his head, McDermott was unable to recall
- clearly anything that had taken place from the moment he had first fallen
- asleep under the influence of French brandy until he awakened in the
- hospital nearly four weeks later. During this period there had been
- several intervals of more open-eyed dreaming, succeeded by lapses into
- profound stupor; but even in these open-eyed intervals, McDermott had not
- been himself. It was during one of these intervals that a representative
- of the French Government bestowed the Croix de Guerre upon McDermott, for
- it had been learned that he was the man behind the machine gun that had
- turned the tide of combat.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott, his eyes open, but his mind in too much of a daze even to
- wonder what the ceremony was about, sat in a wheel chair, and in company
- with half a dozen other men selected for decoration, listened to a brief
- oration in very good French, which he could not have understood had he
- been normal. In answer he muttered in a low tone, rubbing his broken and
- bandaged head: &ldquo;I think maybe I will jine that war, afther all!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The French officer assumed that McDermott had spoken some sort of
- compliment to France and kissed McDermott on both cheeks, in front of the
- hospital staff, several American reporters, and as much of the French army
- as qould be spared to do honor to the occasion. The <i>Croix de Guerre</i>
- made no impression upon McDermott, but the kiss briefly arrested his
- wandering consciousness, and he cried out, starting up in his chair and
- menacing the officer: &ldquo;Where is me bung starter?&rdquo; Then he fainted.
- </p>
- <p>
- A good many thousands of people in France and England and America learned
- from the newspapers the story of the nondescript in the blue overalls, who
- had behaved so gallantly at the crucial moment of a crucial fight. But
- McDermott never did. He seldom read newspapers. No one had been able to
- learn his name, so the reporters had given him a name. They called him
- &ldquo;Dennis.&rdquo; And it was &ldquo;Dennis&rdquo; who got the fame and glory. McDermott would
- not have identified himself with Dennis had he seen the newspapers. When
- he awakened from his long, broken stupor, with its intervals of dazed
- halfconsciousness, the first thing he did was to steal away from that
- hospital; he left without having heard of Dennis or of the decoration of
- Dennis.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was one thing that he had experienced that did live hazily and
- confusedly in his memory, however, although he could not fix it in its
- relationship to any other thing. And that was the fact that he had met
- Gustave Schmidt. Three or four months after he slipped away from the
- hospital&mdash;a period of unchronicled wanderings, during which he had
- tried unsuccessfully to enlist several times&mdash;he limped into a saloon
- on the Brooklyn water front and asked Tim O'Toole, the proprietor, for his
- usual. He had just got back to Brooklyn, and he carried his earthly
- possessions in a bundle wrapped in brown paper.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I hear Yordy Crowley isn't givin' his racket this year,&rdquo; said McDermott,
- laying his bundle on the bar and pouring out his drink.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He is not,&rdquo; said Tim. &ldquo;He is in France helpin' out thim English.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yordy will make a good sojer,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;He is a good man of his
- fists.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The Irish is all good sojers,&rdquo; said Mr. O'Toole, sententiously. &ldquo;There
- was that man Dinnis, now, that was in all av the papers.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not hear av him,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;An' phwat did he do?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He licked th' entire German army wan morn-in',&rdquo; said O'Toole, &ldquo;an' saved
- England, an' the Quane of France kissed him for it. 'Twas in all the
- papers. Or, maybe,&rdquo; said Mr. O'Toole, &ldquo;it was the King av Belg'um kissed
- him for ut. Anny-way wan of thim foreign powers kissed him wid the whole
- world lookin' on.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat did this Dinnis do thin?&rdquo; asked McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He attimpted to assault the person that kissed him,&rdquo; said O'Toole. &ldquo;Maybe
- 'twas the King av Italy. 'Twas in all the papers at th' time. Some wan
- told me ye were in France y'rsilf, Paddy.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was that,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I wint wid mules.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did ye see annything av the war?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;Divil a bit of ut, barrin' a lot o' racket
- an' a big roarin' divil av a stame-boiler thing that come bustin' through
- th' air an' took away the mules that was me passport. But I come near
- seein' some av ut, wan time.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' how was it that ye come near it, an' missed it?&rdquo; inquired Tim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I wint to slape,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;The war was slapin', an' I laid m'silf
- down b' the side av ut an' took a nap, too. Later, I woke up in the
- hospital, some wan havin' stipped on me whilst I was slapin', or
- somethin'. They was afther keep-in' me in th' hospital indefinite, an' I
- slipped away wan mornin', dodgin' the orderlies an' nurses, or I might
- have been there yet eatin' jelly an' gettin' me face washed f'r me. An'
- afther I got back here I thried to jine that war, but th' Amurrican Army
- w'u'd not have me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And phwy not?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Because av me fut.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And how did ye hurt y'r fut?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Divil a bit do I know how,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I'm tellin' ye 'twas done
- whilst I was aslape. I remimber gettin' soused in wan av thim Frinch
- barrooms, an' I w'u'd think it was a mule stipped on me fut whin I was
- slapin' off me souse, excipt that thim mules was gone before I got me
- souse.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' ye saw naught av the war?&rdquo; Tim was distinctly disappointed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But little of ut, but little of ut,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;But, Timmy,&mdash;wan
- thing I did whilst I was in France.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat was that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I avened up an ould grudge,&rdquo; said McDermott. He put away a second drink,
- rolling it over his tongue with satisfaction. &ldquo;Do ye mind that Goostave
- Schmidt that used to kape bar acrost the strate? Ye do! Do ye mind th'
- time he hit me wid th' bung starter? Ye do!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Phwat thin?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, thin,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;I met up wid him ag'in in wan av thim
- Frinch barrooms. I do not remimber phwat he said to me nor phwat I said to
- him, for I was soused, Timmy. But wan word led to another, an' I give him
- as good as he sint, an' 'twas wid a bung starter, too. I brung it back wid
- me as a sooveneer av me travels in France.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, undoing his brown paper bundle, McDermott fished forth from among his
- change of socks and shirts and underwear the bung starter of the Hôtel
- Fauçon and laid it upon the bar for his friend's inspection. Something
- else in the bundle caught O'Toole's eye.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat is that thing ye have there?&rdquo; asked Tim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Divil a bit do I know phwat,&rdquo; said McDermott, picking the article up and
- tossing it carelessly upon the bar. &ldquo;'Twas layin' by me cot in the
- hospital, along wid m' bung starter an' me clothes whin I come to m'silf,
- an' whin I made me sneak from that place I brung it along.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was the <i>Croix de Guerre</i>.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- V.&mdash;Looney the Mutt
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">L</span>ooney had but one
- object in life, one thought, one conscious motive of existence&mdash;to
- find Slim again. After he found Slim, things would be different, things
- would be better, somehow. Just how, Looney did not know.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney did not know much, anyhow. Likely he would never have known much,
- in the most favorable circumstances. And the circumstances under which he
- had passed his life were scarcely conducive to mental growth. He could
- remember, vaguely, that he had not always been called Looney Hogan. There
- had been a time when he was called Kid Hogan. Something had happened
- inside his head one day, and then there had come a period of which he
- remembered nothing at all; after that, when he could remember again, he
- was not Kid any more, but Looney. Perhaps some one had hit him on the
- head. People were always hitting him, before he knew Slim. And now that
- Slim was gone, people were always hitting him again. When he was with
- Slim, Slim had not let people hit him&mdash;often. So he must find Slim
- again; Slim, who was the only God he had ever known.
- </p>
- <p>
- In the course of time he became known, in his own queer world, from
- Baltimore to Seattle, from Los Angeles to Boston, as Slim's Lost Mutt, or
- as Looney the Mutt. Looney did not resent being called a dog,
- particularly, but he never called himself &ldquo;The Mutt&rdquo;; he stuck to
- &ldquo;Looney&rdquo;; Slim had called him Looney, and Looney must, therefore, be
- right.
- </p>
- <p>
- The humors of Looney's world are not, uniformly, kindly humors. Giving
- Looney the Mutt a &ldquo;bum steer&rdquo; as to Slim's whereabouts was considered a
- legitimate jest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Youse ain't seen Slim Matchett anywheres?&rdquo; he would ask of hobo or
- wobbly, working stiff or yeggman, his faded pale-blue eyes peering from
- his weather-worn face with the same anxious intensity, the same eager
- hope, as if he had not asked the question ten thousand times before.
- </p>
- <p>
- And the other wanderer, if he were one that knew of Looney the Mutt and
- Looney's quest would answer, like as not:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slimmy de Match? Uh-huh! I seen Slim last mont' in Chi. He's lookin' fer
- youse, Looney.&rdquo; One day the Burlington Crip, who lacked a hand, and who
- looked so mean that it was of common report that he had got sore at
- himself and bitten it off, varied the reply a bit by saying:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I seen Slim las' week, an' he says: 'Where t' hell's dat kid o' mine?
- Youse ain't seen nuttin' o' dat kid o' mine, has you, Crip? Dat kid o'
- mine give me de slip, Crip. He lammistered, and I ain't seen him since. If
- youse gets yer lamps on dat kid o' mine, Crip, give him a wallop on his
- mush fer me, an' tell him to come an' find me an' I'm gonna give him
- another one.'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney stared and wondered and grieved. It hurt him especially that Slim
- should think that he, Looney, had run away from Slim; he agonized anew
- that he could not tell Slim at once that such was not the truth. And he
- wondered and grieved at the change that must have taken place in Slim, who
- now promised him &ldquo;a wallop on the mush.&rdquo; For Slim had never struck him. It
- was Slim who had always kept other people from striking him. It was Slim
- who had, upon occasion, struck other people to protect him&mdash;once, in
- a hangout among the lakeside sand dunes south of Chicago, Slim had knifed
- a man who had, by way of jovial byplay to enliven a dull afternoon, flung
- Looney into the fire.
- </p>
- <p>
- It never occurred to Looney to doubt, entirely, these bearers of
- misinformation. He was hunting Slim, and of course, he thought, Slim was
- hunting Looney. His nature was all credulity. Such mind as the boy
- possessed&mdash;he was somewhere in his twenties, but had the physique of
- a boy&mdash;was saturated with belief in Slim, with faith in Slim, and he
- thought that all the world must admire Slim. He did not see why any one
- should tell lies that might increase Slim's difficulties, or his own.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was a big red star he used to look at nights, when he slept in the
- open, and because it seemed to him bigger and better and more splendid
- than any of the other stars he took to calling it Slim's star. It was a
- cocky, confident-looking star; it looked as if it would know how to take
- care of itself, and Slim had been like that. It looked good-natured, too,
- and Slim had been that way. When Looney had rustled the scoffin's for
- Slim, Slim had always let him have some of the best chow&mdash;or almost
- always. And he used to talk to that star about Slim when he was alone. It
- seemed sympathetic. And although he believed the hoboes were telling him
- the truth when they said that they had seen Slim, it was apparent even to
- his intelligence that they had no real sympathy with his quest.
- </p>
- <p>
- Once he did find a certain sympathy, if no great understanding. He worked
- a week, one Spring, for a farmer in Indiana. The farmer wished to keep
- him, for that Summer at least, for Looney was docile, willing enough, and
- had a natural, unconscious tact with the work-horses. Looney was never
- afraid of animals, and they were never afraid of him. Dogs took to him,
- and the instant liking of dogs had often stood him in good stead in his
- profession.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why won't you stay?&rdquo; asked the farmer.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim's lookin' fer me, somewheres,&rdquo; said Looney. And he told the farmer
- about Slim. The farmer, having perceived Looney's mental twilight, and
- feeling kindly toward the creature, advanced an argument that he thought
- might hold him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim is just as likely to find you if you stay in one place, as if you go
- travelin' all over the country,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh-uh,&rdquo; said Looney. &ldquo;He ain't, Mister. It's this way, Mister: every
- time I stop long any-, wheres, Slim, he passes me by.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then he continued, after a pause: &ldquo;Slim, he was always good to me,
- Mister. I kinda want to be the one that finds Slim, instead of just
- stayin' still an' waitin' to be found.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- They were standing in the dusk by the barn, and the early stars were out.
- Looney told him about Slim's star.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I want to be the guy that does the findin',&rdquo; went on Looney presently,
- &ldquo;because I was the guy that done the losin'. One night they was five or
- six of us layin' under a lot of railroad ties we had propped up against a
- fence to keep the weather off, an' we figgered on hoppin' a train fer Chi
- that night. Well, the train comes along, but I'm asleep. See? The rest of
- t' gang gits into an empty in de dark, an' I don't wake up. I s'pose Slim
- he t'inks I'm wit' t' gang, but I don't wake up under them ties till
- mornin'. I went to Chi soon's I could, but I ain't never glommed him
- since, Mister. I didn't find him dere. An' dat's t' way I lost Slim,
- Mister.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Maybe,&rdquo; suggested the farmer, &ldquo;he is dead.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nit,&rdquo; said Looney. &ldquo;He ain't dead. If Slim was croaked or anything, I'd
- be wised up to it. Look at that there star. Dat is Slim's star, like I
- told youse. If Slim had been bumped off, or anything, Mister, that star
- wouldn't be shinin' that way, Mister.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he went back to his own world&mdash;his world&mdash;which was a
- succession of freight and cattle cars, ruinous sheds and shelters in
- dubious suburbs near to railroad sidings, police stations, workhouses,
- jails, city missions, transient hangouts in bedraggled clumps of wood,
- improvised shacks, shared with others of his kind in vacant lots in sooty
- industrial towns, chance bivouacs amidst lumber piles and under dripping
- water tanks, lucky infrequent lodgings in slum hotels that used to charge
- fifteen cents for a bed and now charge a quarter, golden moments in vile
- barrooms and blind tigers, occasional orgies in quarries or gravel pits or
- abandoned tin-roofed tool houses, uneasy, loiterings and interrupted
- slumbers in urban parks and the squares or outskirts of villages.
- Sometimes he worked, as he had with the Indiana farmer, with the wheat
- harvesters of the Northwest, or the snow shovelers of the metropoli, or
- the fruit gatherers of California; but more often he loafed, and rustled
- grub and small coin from the charitably disposed.
- </p>
- <p>
- It all seemed the natural way of life to Looney. He could not remember
- anything else. He viewed the people of the world who did not live so, and
- whom he saw to be the majority, as strange, unaccountable beings whom he
- could never hope to understand; he vaguely perceived that they were
- stronger than he and his ever-hiking clan, and he knew that they might do
- unpleasant things to him with their laws and their courts and their
- strength, but he bore them no rancor, unlike many of his associates.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had no theories about work or idleness; he accepted either as it came;
- he had little conscious thought about anything, except finding Slim again.
- And one thing worried him: Slim, who was supposed to be looking for
- Looney, even as Looney was looking for Slim, left no mark. He was forever
- looking for it, searching for the traces of Slim's knife&mdash;a name, a
- date, a destination, a message bidding Looney to follow or to wait&mdash;on
- freight sheds and water tanks, and known and charted telegraph poles and
- the tool houses of construction gangs. But Slim, always just ahead of him,
- as he thought, continually returning and passing him, ever receding in the
- distance, left no mark, no wanderer's pateran, behind. Looney left his own
- marks everywhere, but, strangely enough, it seemed that Slim never saw
- them. Looney remembered that one time when he and Slim were together Slim
- had wished to meet and confer with the Burlington Crip, and had left word
- to that effect, penciled and carved and sown by the speech of the mouth,
- from the Barbary Coast to the Erie Basin. And the Burlington Crip, with
- his snaggle teeth and his stump where a hand had been, had joined them on
- the Brooklyn waterfront within two months. It had been simple, and Looney
- wondered why Slim omitted this easy method of communication. Perhaps Slim
- was using it and Looney was not finding the marks. He knew himself for
- stupid, and set his failure down to that, never to neglect on Slim's part.
- For Slim was Slim, and Slim could do no wrong.
- </p>
- <p>
- His habit of searching for some scratched or written word of Slim's became
- known to his whole section of the underworld, and furnished material for
- an elaboration of the standing jest at his expense. When ennui descended
- upon some chance gathering in one of the transient hangouts&mdash;caravanserai
- as familiar to the loose-foot, casual guests, from coast to coast, as was
- ever the Blackstone in Chicago or the Biltmore in New York to those who
- read this simple history&mdash;it was customary for some wag to say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Looney, I seen a mark that looked like Slim's mark on a shed down in
- Alexandria, Virginny, right by where the Long Bridge starts over to
- Washington.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And it might be that Looney would start at once, without a word, for
- Alexandria. Therein lay the cream of this subtle witticism, for its
- perpetrators&mdash;in Looney's swift departures.
- </p>
- <p>
- Or it might be that Looney would sit and ponder, his washed-out eyes
- interrogating the speaker in a puzzled fashion, but never doubting. And
- then the jester would say, perhaps: &ldquo;Why don't you get a move onto you,
- Looney? You're gonna miss Slim again.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Looney would answer, perchance: &ldquo;Slim, he ain't there now. The' was
- one of them wobblies' bump-off men sayin' he seen Slim in Tacoma two weeks
- ago, an' Slim was headin' this way. I'm gonna wait fer him a while
- longer.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But he never waited long. He could never make himself. As he had told the
- Indiana farmer, he was afraid to wait long. It was the Burlington Crip who
- had made him afraid to do that. The Crip had told him one time: &ldquo;Looney,
- Slim went through here last night, while youse was asleep over on that
- lumber pile. I forgets youse is lookin' fer him or I'd a tipped him off
- youse was here.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Slim had been within a hundred yards of him, and he had been asleep and
- had never known! What would Slim think, if he knew that? So thereafter he
- was continually tortured by the fancy that Slim might be passing him in
- the night; or that Slim, while he himself was riding the rods underneath a
- railway car, might be on the blind baggage of that very train, and would
- hop off first and be missed again. From day to day he became more muddled
- and perplexed trying to decide whether it would be better to choose this
- route or that, whether it would be better to stop here a week, or go
- yonder with all possible speed. And from month to month he developed more
- and more the questing, peering, wavering manner of the lost dog that seeks
- its master.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney was always welcome In the hang-outs of the wandering underworld.
- Not only was he a source of diversion, a convenient butt, but few could
- rustle grub so successfully. His meager frame and his wistfulness, his
- evident feebleness of intellect, drew alms from the solvent population,
- and Looney faithfully brought his takings to the hangouts and was
- dispatched again for more. Servant and butt he was to such lords as the
- Burlington Crip and the English Basher. But he did not mind so long as he
- was not physically maltreated&mdash;as he often was. The occasional crimes
- of his associates, the occasional connection of some of them with
- industrial warfare here and there, Looney sometimes participated in; but
- he never understood. If he were told to do so and so, for the most part he
- did it. If he were asked to do too much, or was beaten up for his
- stupidity, and he was always stupid, he quietly slunk away at his first
- opportunity.
- </p>
- <p>
- The English Basher was a red-faced savage with fists as hard and rough as
- tarred rope; and he conceived the idea that Looney should be his kid, and
- wait upon him, even as he had been Slim's kid. Looney, afraid of the man,
- for a time seemed to acquiesce. But the Basher had reckoned without
- Looney's faculty for blundering.
- </p>
- <p>
- He dispatched Looney one day, ostensibly to bum a handout, but in reality
- to get the lay of a certain house in a suburb near Cincinnati, which the
- Basher meditated cracking the next convenient night. Looney returned with
- the food but without the information. He had been willing enough, for he
- admired yeggmen and all their ways and works, and was withheld by no moral
- considerations from anything he was asked to do; but he had bungled. He
- had been in the kitchen, he had eaten his own scoffin's there, he had
- talked with the cook for twenty minutes, he had even brought up from the
- cellar a scuttle of coal for the kitchen range to save the cook's back,
- but he actually knew less about that house, its plan, its fastenings, its
- doors and basement windows than the Basher had been able to gather with a
- single stroke of the eye as he loitered down the street.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Cripes! Whadje chin about with the kitchen mechanic all dat time, you?&rdquo;
- demanded the Basher.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;She was stringin' me along,&rdquo; said Looney humbly, &ldquo;an' I spilled to her
- about me an' Slim.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim! &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; yer, I've a mind
- t' croak yer!&rdquo; cried the Basher.
- </p>
- <p>
- And he nearly did it, knocking the boy down repeatedly, till finally
- Looney lay still upon the ground.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'S'elp me,&rdquo; said the Basher, &ldquo;I've a mind to give yer m' boots! You get
- up an' beat it! An' if I ever gets my lamps onto you again I <i>will</i>
- croak you, by Gawd, an' no mistake!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney staggered to his feet and hobbled to a safe distance. And then,
- spitting out a broken tooth, he dared to mutter: &ldquo;If Slimmy was here, he'd
- see de color o' youse insides, Slimmy would. Slimmy, he knifed a yegg
- oncet wot done less'n dat t'me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was only a week or two after he left the Basher that Looney's faith in
- Slim's star was tested again. Half a dozen of the brotherhood were
- gathered about a fire in a gravel pit in northern Illinois, swapping yarns
- and experiences and making merry. It was a tremendous fire, and lighted up
- the hollow as if it were the entrance to Gehenna, flinging the grotesque
- shadows of the men against the overhanging embankments, and causing the
- inhabitants of a village a mile or so away to wonder what farmer's
- haystack was aflame. The tramps were wasting five times the wood they
- needed, after their fashion. They had eaten to repletion, and they were
- wasting the left-over food from their evening gorge; they had booze; they
- were smoking; they felt, for the hour, at peace with the world.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wot ever <i>did</i> become of dat Slim?&rdquo; asked the Burlington Crip, who
- happened to be of the party, looking speculatively at Looney. Even the
- sinister Crip, for the nonce, was not toting with him his usual mordant
- grouch.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney was tending the fire, while he listened to tales of the spacious
- days of the great Johnny Yegg himself, and other Titans of the road who
- have now assumed the state of legendary heroes; and he was, as usual,
- saying nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim? Slimmy t' Match wot Looney here's been tailin' after fer so long?&rdquo;
- said the San Diego Kid. &ldquo;Slim, he was bumped off in Paterson t'ree or four
- years ago.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He wasn't neither,&rdquo; spoke up Looney. &ldquo;Tex, here, seen him in Chi last
- mont'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, indeed, Tex had told Looney so. But now, thus directly appealed to,
- Tex answered nothing. And for the first time Looney began to get the vague
- suspicion that these, his friends, might have trifled with him before.
- Certainly they were serious now. He looked around the sprawled circle and
- sensed that their manner was somehow different from the attitude with
- which they had usually discussed his quest for Slim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bumped off?&rdquo; said Tex. &ldquo;How?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A wobbly done it,&rdquo; said the San Diego Kid. &ldquo;Slim, he was scabbin'.
- Strike-breakin'. And they was some wobblies there helpin' on the strike.
- See? An' this wobbly bumps Slim off.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't neither,&rdquo; said Looney again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;T' hell he didn't? He said he did,&rdquo; said the San Diego Kid pacifically.
- &ldquo;Is a guy gonna say he's bumped off a guy unless he's bumped him off?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney, somewhat shaken, withdrew from the group to seek comfort from the
- constellations; and particularly from that big, red star, the apparent
- king of stars, which he had come to think of as Slim's star, and vaguely,
- as Slim's mascot. It was brighter and redder than ever that night, Looney
- thought, and sitting on a discarded railroad tie and staring at the
- planet, Looney gradually recovered his faith.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He ain't neither been bumped off, Slim ain't,&rdquo; he muttered, &ldquo;an' I'm
- gonna find him yet.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Slim had not been bumped off, however sincere the San Diego Kid may
- have been in his belief.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was some months later that Looney did find him in a little city in
- Pennsylvania&mdash;or found some one that looked like him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney had dropped from a freight train early in the morning, had rustled
- himself some grub, had eaten two good meals and had part of a day's sleep,
- and now, just as dark was coming on, and the street lamps were being
- lighted, was loafing aimlessly on the platform of the railway depot. He
- purposed to take a train south that night, when it became so dark that he
- could crawl into an empty in the yards without too much danger of being
- seen and he was merely putting in the time until full night came on.
- </p>
- <p>
- While he was standing idly so, an automobile drew up beside the station
- platform and an elegantly dressed and slender man of about thirty got out.
- He assisted from the car a woman and a small child, and they made toward
- the door of the waiting room.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim!&rdquo; cried Looney, rushing forward.
- </p>
- <p>
- For this was Slim&mdash;it must be Slim&mdash;it was Slimmy the Match in
- every feature&mdash;and yet, the car!&mdash;the clothes&mdash;the woman&mdash;the
- baby&mdash;the prosperity&mdash;&mdash;- <i>Was</i> it Slim?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim!&rdquo; cried Looney again, his heart leaping in his meager body. &ldquo;It's
- me, Slim! It's Looney! I've got youse again, Slim! Gawd! I've found yuh!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The woman hastily snatched the child up into her arms, with a suppressed
- scream, and recoiled.
- </p>
- <p>
- The man made no sound, but he, too, drew back a step, not seeming to see
- Looney's outstretched hand.
- </p>
- <p>
- But he did see it&mdash;he saw more than that. He saw, as if they were
- flashed before him at lightning speed upon a cinema screen, a dozen scenes
- of a wild and reckless and indigent youth that he had thought was dead
- forever; he saw these roughneck years suddenly leap alive and stalk toward
- him again, toward him and his; he saw his later years of industry, his
- hard-won success, his position so strenuously battled for, his
- respectability that was become so dear to him, all his house of life so
- laboriously builded, crumbling before the touch of this torn and grotesque
- outcast that confronted and claimed him, this wavering, dusty lunatic whom
- he dimly remembered. If his wife knew&mdash;if her people knew&mdash;if
- the business men of this town were to know&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- He shuddered and turned sick, and then with a sudden recovery he took his
- child from its mother and guided her before him into the waiting room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney watched them enter, in silence. He stood dazed for a moment, and
- then he slowly turned and walked down the railroad track beyond the limits
- of the town. There, upon a spot of turf beside the right of way, he threw
- himself upon his face and sobbed and moaned, as a broken-hearted child
- sobs, as a dog moans upon its master's grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- But after a while he looked up. Slim's star was looking down at him, red
- and confident and heartening as ever. He gazed at it a long time, and then
- an idea took form in his ruined brain and he said aloud:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, dat wasn't <i>really</i> Slim! I been lookin' fer Slim so long I
- t'ink I see Slim where he ain't! Dat was jus' some guy wot looks like
- Slimmy. Slimmy, he wouldn't never of gone back on an old pal like dat!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The rumble of an approaching train caught his ears. He got to his feet and
- prepared to board it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim, he's waitin' fer me somewheres,&rdquo; he told the star. &ldquo;I may be kinda
- looney about some t'ings, but I knows Slim, an' dey ain't no yellow streak
- nowheres in Slim!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And with unshaken loyalty Looney the Mutt boarded the train and set off
- upon his endless quest anew.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VI&mdash;Kale
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>ee that old fellow
- there?&rdquo; asked Ed the waiter. &ldquo;Well, his fad is money.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old fellow indicated&mdash;he must have been nearly eighty&mdash;sat
- eating corned beef and cabbage in a little booth in a certain delightful,
- greasy old chophouse in downtown New York. It was nearly time to close the
- chophouse for that day for it was almost eleven o'clock at night; it was
- nearly time to close the chophouse forever, for it was the middle of June,
- 1919. In a couple of weeks the wartime prohibition act would be in force,
- and Ed and I had been discussing what effect it would have upon our
- respective lives.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was no one else in the place at the time except the cashier and the
- old man whose fad was money, and so Ed had condescended toward me, as a
- faithful customer, and was sitting down to have a drink with me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His fad is money?&rdquo; I questioned, glancing at the old gentleman, who
- seemed to be nothing extraordinary as regards face or manner or attire. He
- had a long, bony New Englandish head and a short, white, well-trimmed
- beard; he was finishing his nowise delicate food with gusto. &ldquo;I should
- say,&rdquo; I added, &ldquo;that his fad was corned beef and cabbage.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's one of his fads,&rdquo; admitted Ed the waiter, &ldquo;and I don't know but
- that it's as strong in him as his money fad. At any rate, I've never seen
- him without one or the other was near him, and both in large quantities.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- We had been conversing in a mumble, so that our voices should not carry to
- the old gentleman. And now Ed dropped his voice still lower and whispered:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's Old Man Singleton.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I looked at him with a renewed interest. Every one knew who Old Man
- Singleton was, and many persons liked to guess how much he was worth.
- Ostensibly he had retired, leaving to his two sons the management of the
- Singleton banking business, with its many ramifications; but actually he
- kept his interest in the concern and was reputed to be coaching his
- grandsons in the ways of the world, and especially that part of the world
- known as &ldquo;The Street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Starting out as a New England villager who hated poverty because his
- family had always known it, he had come to New York as a lad of twenty,
- with red knitted mittens on his osseous hands, and he had at once removed
- the mittens and put the hands to work gathering money; it was rumored that
- the hands had never turned loose any of the garnered coin; it was even
- said by some persons that he still had the same pair of mittens.
- </p>
- <p>
- The details of his rise I cannot give; he had achieved his ambition to be
- one of the very rich men of America because the ambition was so strong
- within him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Of course his fad is money,&rdquo; I muttered to Ed the waiter. &ldquo;Everybody
- knows that Old Man Singleton's fad is money.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed was about to reply, when Mr. Singleton looked up and motioned for his
- check. Ed brought it, and gave the old gentleman his hat and his stick and
- his change.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I hope everything was all right,&rdquo; Mr. Singleton said Ed, palpably bidding
- for recognition and a tip.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh? said Singleton, looking blankly at Ed You know me, hey? I don't
- recall you. Yes, everything was all right, thank you.&rdquo; He gave the waiter
- a dime and passed out, after another blank, fumbling look at Ed, and a
- shake of his head. There was something feeble and wandering in the old
- fellow's manner; his memory was going; it was obvious that before long the
- rest of him would follow his memory. He shouldn't be allowed to go around
- this way alone at night,&rdquo; murmured Ed, watching the door through which he
- had made his exit. &ldquo;But I suppose he's as bull-headed as ever about doing
- what he pleases, even if his legs are shaky.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't know you,&rdquo; I hinted, for I wished to learn all that Ed knew
- about Old Man Singleton.
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed is a person who has been in the world nearly fifty years; he has had
- some very unusual acquaintances and experiences. It is never safe to
- predict just what Ed will know and what he will not know. One afternoon,
- after I had known Ed for about a year, I was attempting to argue some
- scientific point with a friend who was lunching with me, and Ed, who was
- waiting on us and listening, remarked: &ldquo;I beg your pardon, sir, but it
- wasn't in <i>The Descent of Man</i> that Darwin said that; it was in <i>The
- Origin of Species</i>.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And yet, if you deduce from that remark that Ed knows a great deal about
- modern science, you will be mistaken; as likely as not he could quote
- pages of Marcus Aurelius to you, and at the same time he might pronounce
- &ldquo;Euripides&rdquo; as if the last two syllables were one, riming with &ldquo;hides&rdquo;;
- his reading, like his life, has been elective.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He doesn't recall you,&rdquo; I repeated.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And that's ingratitude,&rdquo; said Ed, &ldquo;if he only knew it. I saved the old
- man's life once.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Ed limped over to the table and resumed his seat opposite me. He has a
- bullet under one kneecap, and at times it makes him very lame. He would
- never tell me how it came there; to this day I do not know.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;From what did you save his life?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;From a man,&rdquo; said Ed moodily.
- &ldquo;From a man who had a notion to bean him one night. And to this day I ask
- myself: 'Did I do right, or did I do wrong?'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me about it,&rdquo; I insisted,
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Drink up,&rdquo; said Ed, manipulating the Scotch bottle and the siphon of
- seltzer. &ldquo;This is one of the last highballs you'll ever have, unless you
- sneak around and take it on the sly. I don't know that I should have
- another one myself; it settles in this damned knee of mine if I get a
- little too much.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me when, where and how you knew Old Man Singleton,&rdquo; I demanded
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This knee of mine,&rdquo; went on Ed, disregarding me, &ldquo;is a hell of a
- handicap. We were talking about prohibition&mdash;what's prohibition going
- to do to me? Hey? It puts me out of a job in a barroom like this the first
- thing. And what else can I do? With this game leg, you can see me going on
- the stage as a Russian dancer, can't you? Or digging trenches to lay gas
- pipes in, or carrying a Hod? Huh? And I can't even get a job in a swell
- restaurant uptown; they don't want any gamelegged waiters sticking around,
- falling over the chairs. This was about the only kind of a joint and the
- only kind of a job I was fit for, this chop-house thing down here, and
- it's going to close in two weeks. What then? Be somebody's housemaid? I
- can't see it. I don't wish anybody any bad luck, but I hope the guy that
- put over this prohibition thing gets stiff in all his joints and lives
- forever.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I sympathized and waited, and finally he began. &ldquo;Old Man Singleton's fad,&rdquo;
- said Ed, &ldquo;as I re marked before, is money. And as you remarked, another of
- his fads is corned beef and cabbage&mdash;especially cabbage. He will eat
- corned beef with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat pork with his
- cabbage, and like it; or he will eat cabbage without either; it is the
- cabbage he likes&mdash;or kale. In fact, you could reduce his two fads to
- one, and say what he likes is kale&mdash;kale in the slang sense of money,
- and kale that is cabbage. And all his life he has been stuffing himself
- with kale.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His fad is kale that he can see and feel and handle and show and carry
- about with him. Not merely money in the bank and stocks and bonds and
- property and real estate, but actual cash. He likes to carry it with him,
- and he does carry it with him. I guess he likes the feel of it in his
- billfolder, and the thought that he has got it on him&mdash;on him, the
- poor boy that came out of New England with the red knitted mittens on that
- everybody has heard so much about. I can understand the way he feels about
- it; with a folder full of thousand-dollar and ten-thousand-dollar bills he
- feels safe, somehow; feels like he'll never have to go back to that little
- New England town and saw cordwood and shovel snow again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's got it on him now, that folder, and I'll bet you on it. That's what
- I meant when I said it wasn't safe for him to be trotting about this way
- after night. For if I know it, it stands to reason others know it, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What you want to know is, how I know it. Well, I was not always what I am
- now. Once I was quite a bird and wore dress suits and went to the
- Metropolitan Opera and listened to Caruso as he jumped his voice from peak
- to peak. Yes, sir, I know every darned acoustic in that place! They
- weren't my dress suits that I wore, but they fit me. Once I moved in the
- circles of the idle rich, though they didn't know it, and helped 'em spend
- the unearned increment they wrung from the toil of the downtrodden
- laboring man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Once, to come down to brass tacks, I was a butler's companion. It is an
- office you won't find listed in the social directory, but it existed, for
- me at least. The butler in the case was a good friend of mine by the name
- of Larry Hodgkins, and being part Irish, he was an ideal English butler.
- Larry and his mother were in the employ of the Hergsheimers, a wealthy
- Jewish family&mdash;you know who they are if you read the financial pages
- or the Sunday supplements. Mrs. Hodgkins was the housekeeper and Larry was
- the butler, and when the Hergsheimers were traveling Larry and his mother
- stayed in the New York house as caretakers and kept things shipshape. And
- let me give you a tip, by the way: if you ever take a notion to quit the
- writing game and go into domestic service, plant yourself with a rich
- Hebrew family. They want things done right, but they are the most liberal
- people on earth, especially to Gentile servants.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This Hergsheimer was Jacob Hergsheimer, and he was in right socially in
- New York, as well as financially; he had put himself across into the big
- time socially because, if you ask me, he belonged there; all the
- Hergsheimers didn't get across, but this one did. His New York house is
- uptown, between the sixties and the eighties, east of the Park, and he
- wants it kept so he can drop into it with his family and a flock of
- servants at any hour of the day or night, from any part of the earth,
- without a minute's notice, and give a dinner party at once, if he feels
- like it, and he frequently feels like it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was Mrs. Hodgkins's and Larry's job to keep the fire from going out in
- the boilers, so to speak, and a head of steam on, so that the domestic
- ship could sail in any direction on receipt of orders by wire, wireless or
- telephone. They were permanent there, but Jake Hergsheimer and his family,
- as far as I could make out, never got more than an average of about three
- months' use a year out of that mansion.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This time I am speaking of was nearly ten years ago. I was a waiter in an
- uptown restaurant, and both my legs were good then; Larry and I were old
- pals. The Jake Hergsheimers were sailing around the world in a yacht, and
- would be at it for about a year, as far as Larry knew, and he asked me up
- to live with him. I accepted; and believe me, the eight months I put in as
- Jake Hergsheimer's guest were <i>some</i> eight months. Not that Jake knew
- about it; but if he had known it, he wouldn't have cared. This Jake was a
- real human being.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And his clothes fit me; just as if I had been measured for them. He had
- what you might call an automatic tailor, Jake did. Every six weeks, rain
- or shine, that tailor delivered a new suit of clothes to the Hergsheimer
- house, and he sent in his bill once a year, so Larry the butler told me.
- Some people go away and forget to stop the milk; and when Jake sailed for
- the other side of the world he forgot to tell anybody to stop the tailor.
- Larry didn't feel as if it were any part of his duty to stop him; for
- Larry liked that tailor. He made Larry's clothes, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I didn't see where it was up to me to protest. As I said, Jake's
- garments might have been made for me. In fact, a great many of them <i>were</i>
- made for me. There were at least fifteen suits of clothes that had never
- been worn in that house, made to my measure and Jake's, when I became
- butler's companion in the establishment, and they kept right on coming.
- Also, there was a standing order for orchestra seats at the Metropolitan.
- Jake had a box every second Thursday, or something like that, but when he
- really wanted to hear the music and see the show he usually sat in the
- orchestra. Not only did his business suits fit me, but his dress clothes
- fit me, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I used to go often, with a lady's maid that had the same access to
- clothing as I did. She was part of a caretaking staff also. Being a
- writing person, you have, of course, only viewed New York's society and
- near-society from the outside, and no doubt you have been intimidated by
- the haughty manners of the servants. Well, when you get close to swells
- and really know them personally, you will find they are human, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A butler on duty is a swelled-up proposition, because he has to be that
- way. But take him as you find him among his peers, and he quits acting
- like the Duke of Westminster Abbey, and is real sociable. This Larry
- person, for instance, could distend himself like a poisoned pup and make a
- timid millionaire feel like the sleeves of his undershirt must be showing
- below his cuffs; but in our little select circle Larry was the life of the
- party.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Being, as I said before, an outsider, you likely don't realize how many
- of those big swell millionaires' cribs uptown are in the hands of
- caretakers like Larry and his mother and me the best part of the year.
- Well, they are; and there's a social life goes on in them that don't ever
- get into the papers. The parties we had that year in Jake's house would
- have done Jake himself good, if Jake could have got an invitation to them.
- But Jake was absent, though his cellar and his grocers were at our
- service; and he never questioned a bill, Larry said. There were twelve or
- fifteen hand-picked servants in our little social circle that year, and
- before I left there I could begin to understand how these débutantes feel
- at the end of the season&mdash;sort of tired and bored and willing to
- relax and go in for work and rest and athletics for a change.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had only been butler's companion for a few weeks when Old Man Singleton
- dropped in one evening&mdash;yes, sir, Old Lemuel Singleton himself. He
- came to see the butler's mother, Mrs. Hodgkins. He had known her a good
- many years before, when he was wearing those red mittens and sawing wood
- up in that New England town and she was somebody's Irish cook. And he had
- run across her again, after he became a millionaire, down here in New York
- City. He was tickled to see her, and he didn't care a darn if she was Jake
- Hergsheimer's housekeeper. She could cook cabbage and kale better than any
- one else in the world, and he used to come and sit with her, and talk
- about that little old town up there, and indulge in his favorite
- dissipation.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old Man Singleton has had what you call the social entrée in New York for
- a good many years; for so long that some of his children, and all his
- grandchildren, were born with it. But he never took it very seriously
- himself. He has been an in-and-outer, you might say. If he saw Mrs.
- Hodgkins around Jake's house, he would call her Mary and ask her how folks
- were up home in front of Jake and his wife and a whole bunch of guests,
- just as soon as not.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And his sons and his daughters and his grandchildren never could get him
- out of those ways; he always was bull-headed about doing what he pleased,
- so Mrs. Hodgkins told me, and he always will be. And the old lady liked to
- see him and chin with him and cook for him; and believe me, she was some
- cook when she set herself to it. Not merely kale, but everything. She
- didn't cook for the Hergsheimers&mdash;they had a chef for that&mdash;but
- they missed it by not having her. Victuals was old Mary's middle name, and
- she could rustle up some of the best grub you ever threw your lip over.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At first, Old Man Singleton and Mrs. Hodgkins didn't mix much with us
- younger folks when we pulled a party. It wasn't that we were too
- aristocratic for them, for off duty, as I said before, butlers and other
- swells can be as easy and jolly as common people. But they seemed too
- antiquated, if you get me; they were living too much in the past.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then, one night, I discovered what Old Man Singleton's fad was&mdash;kale.
- Money. Big money. Big money on his person. It was this way: Larry and I
- wanted to go downtown and have a little fun, but neither of us had any
- cash in hand. Larry had a check for one hundred and fifty dollars which
- Jake Hergsheimer had sent him, but all the tradesmen we knew were closed
- at that hour, and there wasn't any way to cash it, unless Old Man
- Singleton could.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mr. Singleton,' says Larry to the old man, who was sitting down to a
- mess of pork and kale with Mrs. Hodgkins, 'maybe you can cash this for
- me.' And he handed him the check.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The old man stopped eating and put his glasses on and pulled a billfolder
- out of his pocket, with a kind of pleased smile on his face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Let me see,' he says, taking out the bills, and running them over with
- his fingers; 'let me see.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I nearly dropped dead. There wasn't a bill in there of lower denomination
- than one thousand dollars; and most of them were ten-thousand-dol-lar
- bills.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No, Larry,' says the old man, 'I'm afraid I can't, afraid I can't&mdash;haven't
- got the change.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And while we stood there and looked, he smoothed and patted those bills,
- and folded and refolded them, and then put them back into his pocket, and
- patted the pocket.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mary,' he says to the old woman with a grin, 'that's quite a lot of
- money for little Lem Singleton to be carrying around in his pocket, isn't
- it?' &ldquo;'It is that, Lemuel,' said the old lady, 'and I should think you'd
- be afraid of leaving it out of the bank.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well, Mary,' says the old man, 'I kind o' like to have it around me all
- the time&mdash;uh&mdash;huh! a little bit where I can put my hands on it,
- all the time. I used to carry gold; but I gave that up; it's too heavy,
- for what it's worth. But I like it, Mary; I used to look at that gold and
- say to myself, &ldquo;Well, there's one thing you got, Lem Singleton, they never
- thought you'd get when you left home! And they aren't going to take it
- away from you, either!&rdquo; It was a long time before I could make paper seem
- as real to me as gold. But it does now.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And what does the old bird do but take it out of his pocket again and
- crinkle it through his fingers and smooth it out again and pet it and do
- everything but kiss it. Larry and I stood looking at him with our eyes
- sticking out, and he looked at us and laughed. It came to me all of a
- sudden that he liked to come where we servants were because he could pull
- that kind of thing in front of us, but that he was sort of lost among the
- swell-society bunch because he didn't dare pull it there and didn't feel
- so rich among them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'My God, Larry,' I said, when we were outside the house, 'did you notice
- how much kale the old man had there?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Uh-huh,' said Larry. 'Mother always cooks a lot for him.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Wake up, Stupid,' I said. 'I don't mean cabbage. I mean money. There
- must have been nearly two hundred thousand dollars in that roll!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'He always has around one hundred thousand dollars on him, at least,'
- says Larry. 'And I've seen him flash as high as a quarter of a million.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'something ought to be done about it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What do you mean, Ed?' says he.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Oh, nothing,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We walked over to get the L train downtown, saying nothing, and then
- finally Larry remarked: &ldquo;'Electricity is a great thing, Ed.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I never said it wasn't,' says I.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'It's a great thing,' says Larry, 'but when you sit on it, sit on it
- right. For instance, I'd a darned sight rather sit in one of these
- electric trains than in that electric chair up at Sing Sing.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Who said anything about an electric chair?' I asked him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Nobody said anything,' says Larry, 'but you're thinking so darned loud I
- can get you.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Piffle, peanuts and petrification,' I said. 'Take care of your own
- thoughts, and I'll skim the fat off of mine myself.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, as I said, after that we got better acquainted, the old man and I.
- I paid more attention to him. He interested me more. I've always been
- interested in science of all kinds, and the year I spent in Jake
- Hergsheimer's house I cut the leaves of a lot of books in his library and
- gave them the once over. I was always interested in psychology, even
- before the word got to be a headliner in the Sunday supplements, and I
- took a good deal of pleasure that winter trying to get inside of Old Man
- Singleton's mind. I must say, I never got very far in, at that. My general
- conclusion at the end is what it was at the beginning&mdash;his fad is
- kale.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And he loved to show it, you could see that. Not that he pulled it every
- time he happened to be at one of our parties. Often he would drop in that
- winter from some swell social event at one of the big houses uptown, where
- he had been a guest, and eat some of old Mary's chow, and never intimate
- by word or look that he had all that kale on him. And then again he'd come
- among us, diked out in the soup and fish, and flash the roll, for no other
- reason that I know except he enjoyed seeing us get the blind staggers,
- which we always did. And then he'd fuss with it and pet it and go into a
- dream over it, and wake up again and grin and talk about life with old
- Mary. And they agreed about life; you never heard two more moral persons
- exchange views. It was sometimes as good as a Sunday-school to listen to
- them for half an hour.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One night, when they had been gassing for a while, they sort of got my
- goat, and I said to him:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mr. Singleton, does it ever strike you as a little peculiar that you
- should have so much money and so many other people, such as myself, none
- at all?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No, Ed,' he says. 'No, it doesn't. That's the Lord's way, Ed! Money is
- given as a sacred trust by the Lord to them that are best fitted to have
- and to hold.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Meaning,' I asked him, 'that if you were ever to let loose of any of it,
- it might work harm in the world?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He chewed over that for quite a while, as if he saw something personal in
- it, and he gave me a ten-dollar bill for a Christmas present. He isn't as
- stingy as some people say he is; he just looks so stingy that if he was
- the most liberal man on earth he would get the reputation of being stingy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The lady's maid that I used to go to the opera with quit me a little
- while after Christmas. She and I were walking around the promenade between
- the acts one night at the Metropolitan and Larry was with us, when a
- fellow stopped Larry and spoke to him. I could see the guy looking at the
- girl and me as he and Larry talked. Later, Larry told me that it was one
- of Jake Hergsheimer's friends, and he had been a little bit surprised to
- see Larry at the opera all diked out, and he had wanted to know who the
- girl was.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, anyhow, she never went to the opera with me after that; but a few
- weeks later I saw her at a cabaret with Jake's friend. It was a grief to
- me; but I got into some real trouble, or let it get into me, about the
- same time, and that helped take the sting off. I had once been married&mdash;but
- there's no use going into all that. Anyhow, when the marriage kind o' wore
- off, my own folks took my wife's side of the case and she went to live
- with them. My old dad was sick, and they needed money, and my wife wrote
- to me that she was willing to let bygones be bygones and accept some money
- from me, and that my parents felt the same way, and there was a kid, too,
- that my folks were bringing up.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, I was desperate for some way to get hold of some cash and send to
- them. In the end, I took one of Jake Hergsheimer's silver vases and hocked
- it and sent the money, and got it out of hock two or three months later;
- but in the meantime there was a spell when I was so hard pressed it looked
- to me like I would actually have to do something dishonest to get that
- money.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One night, before Jake Hergsheimer came to my rescue and lent me that
- silver vase, if you want to call it that, I was sitting alone in the house
- thinking what a failure in life I was, and how rotten it was to have a
- wife and kid and parents all set against me, and drinking some of Jake's
- good booze, and getting more and more low in my mind, when there came a
- ring at the front doorbell. The butler was out, and old Mary was asleep
- way up in the top of the house, at the back, and wouldn't hear.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I'll bet,' I said to myself, 'that's Old Man Singleton nosing around for
- his cabbage.' And I made up my mind I wouldn't let him in&mdash;he could
- ring till he froze to death on the front steps, and I wouldn't. It was a
- blustery, snowy January night, with new snow over the old ice underneath,
- and I says to myself, 'It's a wonder the old coot don't slip down and bust
- some of those big New England bones of his. And I wouldn't care much if he
- did.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But he kept on ringing, and finally I thought I'd better go and let him
- in. I didn't have any ulterior notions when I went up the stairs from the
- servants' dining room and made for the front door. But the minute I
- clapped eyes on him I thought of all that kale in his pocket.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I opened the front door, but outside of that was an iron grille. It had a
- number of fastenings, but the final one was a short, heavy iron bar that
- lay in two sockets, one on each side of the opening.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I lifted the bar and swung the grille open.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Ha! Hum!' said he, and sneezed. 'It's you, Ed, is it?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And, snuffing and sneezing, he passed in front of me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And as he passed by me that bar said something to my hand. And the hand
- raised up. It wasn't any of my doings, it was all the hand and the bar. It
- raised up, that bar did, right behind the old man's head. He stopped just
- outside the front door and flapped his big bony feet on a rug that was
- there, to get the snow off his shoes, and while he flapped and sneezed
- that bar was right over the old man's brain-box.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well,' I said to myself, 'here is your chance to be an honest man and a
- prosperous man, reunited with your wife and your kid and your folks at
- home, and not have to borrow anything from Jake Hergsheimer's collection&mdash;just
- one little tap on the old man's head, and down he goes, and he's got
- anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred and fifty thousand
- dollars in his clothes.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' said myself to me, 'one little tap, and maybe you kill him. What
- then? The electric chair, huh?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Hell!' I said to myself. 'Take a chance! The old man has so much money
- that what he has in his pocket means nothing to him one way or another.
- Larry's gone till morning, and the old woman won't wake for a long time.
- It means a little bit of a headache for Old Lemuel here, and it means your
- chance to lead an honest life hereafter and be a useful citizen and take
- care of those you have been neglecting.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' said myself to me, 'it's more moral to do it, and make your life
- over, but you never have been one for morality in the past. Besides, you'd
- kill him.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I might have killed him, boss. I wasn't sure of it then, but I've
- been sure of it since then. I was that strung up that I would have hit too
- hard.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet, I might <i>not</i> have done so! I might have hit him just
- enough to put him out and make my get-away, and I might have led an honest
- life since then.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But at the moment I couldn't do it. I saw, all of a sudden, something
- funny. I saw the old man stamping his feet and getting the snow off, and I
- thought of him as a dead man, and I says to myself: 'How damned funny for
- a dead man to stamp the snow off his feet!' And I laughed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Heh? Heh? What did you say, Ed?' says the old man, and turns around.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dropped the iron bar to my side, and that dead man came up out of the
- grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Nothing, Mr. Singleton,' I said. 'I was just going to say, go on in, and
- I'll get a brush and clean the snow off of you.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I said I saved his life from a man one time. Well, I was the man I saved
- his life from.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He went on in, and I barred the grille and locked the door, and we went
- on down to the dining room. I was shaking, and still I wasn't easy in my
- mind. I told him there wasn't anybody home but me, and he said he'd take a
- drop of Jake's brandy. And while I was opening a bottle of it for him,
- what does he do but pull out that billfolder.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'For God's sake, Mr. Singleton,' I said, turning weak and sitting down in
- a chair all of a sudden, 'put that money up.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He sat there and sipped his brandy and talked, but I didn't hear what he
- was saying. I just looked at him, and kept saying to myself, should I have
- done it? Or should I have let him go by?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Boss, that was nearly ten years ago, and I've been asking myself that
- question from time to time ever since. Should I have done it? Was it moral
- to refuse that chance to make my life over again? You know me, kid. You
- know some of me, at least. You know I don't hold much by morals. If I was
- to tell you how I got that bullet under my kneecap, you'd know me better
- than <i>you</i> do. If I had hit him just right and made my get-away, I
- would have led a different life.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I wouldn't now be 'waiting for my death sentence. For that's
- practically what this prohibition thing means to me. I can't work at
- anything but this. And this is through with. And I'm through with. I'm a
- bum from now on. There's no use kidding myself; I'm a bum.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet, often, I'm glad I didn't do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed brooded in silence for a while.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I said, &ldquo;It's strange he didn't know you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's been ten years,&rdquo; said Ed, &ldquo;and you saw that the old man's got to the
- doddering stage. He likely wouldn't know his own children if he didn't see
- them every day or two.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that the old man feels he is ending his days in a
- very satisfactory manner&mdash;the national prohibition thing triumphant,
- and all that.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;How do you mean?&rdquo; asked Ed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you know?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Why, Old Man Singleton, it is said, helped to
- finance the fight, and used his money and his influence on other big money
- all over the country in getting next to doubtful politicians and putting
- the thing through the state legislatures. I don't mean there was anything
- crooked about it anywhere, but he was one of the bunch that represented
- organized power, and put the stunt across while the liquor interests were
- still saying national prohibition could never come.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The hell he did!&rdquo; said Ed. &ldquo;I didn't know he was mixed up with it. I
- never saw him take a drink, now that I remember, except the brandy on the
- night I saved his life.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old Man Singleton,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;is credited with having had more to do with
- it than any other one person, by those who are on the inside.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The old coot!&rdquo; said Ed. And then added wryly: &ldquo;I hope he gets as stiff in
- his knee joint as I am and lives forever! He's made a bum of me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was three or four weeks after my talk with Ed that I read in the papers
- of a peculiar accident of which Old Man Singleton had been the victim. A
- head of cabbage, he said, had fallen out of a tree and hit him on his own
- head one evening as he was walking alone in Central Park. He had been
- dazed by the blow for a moment; and when he regained his feet a
- considerable sum of money which he had been carrying was gone. He was sure
- that he had been struck by a head of cabbage, for a head of cabbage lay on
- the pathway near him when he was helped to his feet. He did not pretend to
- be able to say how a head of cabbage could have gotten into one of the
- park trees.
- </p>
- <p>
- The police discredited his story, pointing out that likely the old man,
- who was near-sighted, had blundered against a tree in the dusk and struck
- his head. The head of cabbage, they told the reporters, could have had
- nothing to do with it; it could not have come into contact with his head
- at all, unless, indeed, some one had put it into a sack and swung it on
- him like a bludgeon; and this, the police said, was too absurd to be
- considered. For why should a crook use a head of cabbage, when the same
- results might have been attained with the more usual blackjack, stick or
- fist?
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Singleton was not badly hurt; and as regarded the loss of the
- money, he never said, nor did his family ever say, just how large the sum
- was. Mr. Singleton had the vague impression that after the cabbage fell
- out of the tree and hit him he had been helped to his feet by a man who
- limped and who said to him: &ldquo;Kale is given to them that can best use it,
- to have and to hold.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not accuse this person, who disappeared before he was thoroughly
- himself again, of having found the money which had evidently dropped from
- his pocket when the cabbage fell from the tree and hit him, but he was
- suspicious, and he thought the police were taking the matter too lightly;
- he criticized the police in an interview given to the papers. The police
- pointed out the irrelevance of the alleged words of the alleged person who
- limped, and intimated that Mr. Singleton was irrational and should be kept
- at home evenings; as far as they were concerned, the incident was closed.
- </p>
- <p>
- But I got another slant at it, as Ed might have said. Last winter I was
- talking at my club with a friend just back from Cuba, where the rum is red
- and joy is unconfined.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I met a friend of yours,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;by the name of Ed down there, who is
- running a barroom and seems to be quite a sport in his way. Sent his
- regards to you. Must have made it pay&mdash;seems to have all kinds of
- money. Named his barroom 'The Second Thought.' Asked him why. He said
- nobody knew but himself, and he was keeping it a secret&mdash;though you
- might guess. Wants you to come down. Sent you a message. Let's see: what
- was it? Oh, yes! Cryptic! Very cryptic! Wrote it down&mdash;here it is: '<i>Kale!
- Kale! The gang's all here</i>.' Make anything out of it? I can't.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I could, though I didn't tell him what. But I shall not visit Ed in Cuba;
- I consider him an immoral person.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VII&mdash;Bubbles
- </h2>
- <h3>
- I
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>ommy Hawkins was
- not so sober that you could tell it on him. Certainly his friend Jack
- Dobson, calling on him one dreary winter evening&mdash;an evening of that
- winter before John Barleycorn cried maudlin tears into his glass and
- kissed America good-by&mdash;would never have guessed it from Tommy's
- occupation. Presenting himself at Tommy's door and finding it unlocked,
- Jack had gone on in. A languid splashing guided him to the bathroom. In
- the tub sat Tommy with the water up to his shoulders, blowing soap
- bubbles.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You darned old fool!&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;Aren't you ever going to grow up,
- Tommy?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy placidly. &ldquo;What for?&rdquo; Sitting on a chair close by the
- bathtub was a shallow silver dish with a cake of soap and some
- reddish-colored suds in it. Tommy had bought the dish to give some one for
- a wedding present, and then had forgotten to send it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What makes the suds red?&rdquo; asked Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I poured a lot of that nose-and-throat spray stuff into it,&rdquo; explained
- Tommy. &ldquo;It makes them prettier. Look!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As a pipe he was using a piece of hollow brass curtain rod six or eight
- inches long and of about the diameter of a fat lead pencil. He soused this
- thing in the reddish suds and manufactured a bubble with elaborate care.
- With a graceful gesture of his wet arm he gently waved the rod until the
- bubble detached itself. It floated in the air for a moment, and the thin,
- reddish integument caught the light from the electric globe and gave forth
- a brief answering flash as of fire. Then the bubble suddenly and
- whimsically dashed itself against the wall and was no more, leaving a
- faint, damp, reddish trace upon the white plaster.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Air current caught it,&rdquo; elucidated Tommy with the air of a circus
- proprietor showing off pet elephants. In his most facetious moments Tommy
- was wont to hide his childish soul beneath an exterior of serious dignity.
- &ldquo;This old dump is full of air currents. They come in round the windows,
- come in round the doors, come right in through the walls. Damned annoying,
- too, for a scientist making experiments with bubbles&mdash;starts a bubble
- and never knows which way it's going to jump. I'm gonna complain to the
- management of this hotel.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're going to come out of that bathtub and get into your duds,&rdquo; said
- Jack. &ldquo;That water's getting cool now, and between cold water and air
- currents you'll have pneumonia the first thing you know&mdash;you poor
- silly fish, you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Speaking of fish,&rdquo; said Tommy elliptically, &ldquo;there's a bottle of
- cocktails on the mantel in the room there. Forgot it for a moment. Don't
- want to be inhospitable, but don't drink all of it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's all gone,&rdquo; said Dobson a moment later.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So?&rdquo; said Tommy in surprise. &ldquo;That's the way with cocktails. Here one
- minute and gone the next&mdash;like bubbles. Bubbles! Life's like that,
- Jack!&rdquo; He made another bubble with great solemnity, watched it float and
- dart and burst. &ldquo;Pouf!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Bubbles! Bubbles! Life's like that!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're an original philosopher, you are,&rdquo; said Jack, seizing him by the
- shoulders. &ldquo;You're about as original as a valentine. Douse yourself with
- cold water and rub yourself down and dress. Come out of it, kid, or you'll
- be sick.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If I get sick,&rdquo; said Tommy, obeying, nevertheless, &ldquo;I won't have to go to
- work to-morrow.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why aren't you working to-day?&rdquo; asked his friend, working on him with a
- coarse towel.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Day off,&rdquo; said Tommy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Day off!&rdquo; rejoined Dobson. &ldquo;Since when has the <i>Morning Despatch</i>
- been giving two days off a week to its reporters? You had your day off
- Tuesday, and this is Thursday.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is it?&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;I always get Tuesday and Thursday mixed. Both begin
- with a T. Hey, Jack, how's that? Both begin with a T! End with a tea
- party! Good line, hey, Jack? Tuesday and Thursday both begin with a T and
- end with a tea party. I'm gonna write a play round that, Jack. Broadway
- success! Letters a foot high! Royalties for both of us! I won't forget
- you, Jack! You suggested the idea for the plot, Jack. Drag you out in
- front of the curtain with me when I make my speech. 'Author! Author!'
- yells the crowd. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'here is the obscure and
- humble person who set in motion the train of thought that led to my
- writing this masterpiece. Such as he is, I introduce him to you.'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo; said Jack, and continued to lacerate Tommy's hide with the
- rough towel. &ldquo;Hold still! Now go and get into your clothes.&rdquo; And as Tommy
- began to dress he regarded that person darkly. &ldquo;You're a brilliant wag,
- you are! It's a shame the way the copy readers down on the <i>Despatch</i>
- keep your best things out of print, you splattering supermudhen of
- journalism, you! You'll wake up some morning without any more job than a
- kaiser.&rdquo; And as Tommy threaded himself into the mystic maze of his
- garments Mr. Dobson continued to look at him and mutter disgustedly,
- &ldquo;Bubbles!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Not that he was afraid that Tommy would actually lose his job. If it had
- been possible for Tommy to lose his job that must have happened years
- before. But Tommy wrote a certain joyous type of story better than any
- other person in New York, and his facetiousness got him out of as many
- scrapes as it got him into. He was thirty years old. At ninety he would
- still be experimenting with the visible world in a spirit of random
- eagerness, joshing everything in it, including himself. He looked exactly
- like the young gentleman pictured in a widely disseminated collar
- advertisement. He enjoyed looking that way, and occasionally he enjoyed
- talking as if he were exactly that kind of person. He loved to turn his
- ironic levity against the character he seemed to be, much as the mad wags
- who grace the column of F. P. A. delight in getting their sayings across
- accompanied by a gentle satirical fillip at all mad waggery.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Speaking of bubbles,&rdquo; he suddenly chuckled as he carefully adjusted his
- tie in the collar that looked exactly like the one in the advertisement,
- &ldquo;there's an old party in the next room that takes 'em more seriously than
- you do, Jack.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old downtown hotel in which Tommy lived had once been a known and
- noted hostelry, and persons from Plumville, Pennsylvania, Griffin,
- Georgia, and Galva, Illinois, still stopped there when in New York,
- because their fathers and mothers had stopped there on their wedding
- journeys perhaps. It was not such a very long way from the Eden Musee,
- when there was an Eden Musee. Tommy's room had once formed part of a
- suite. The bathroom which adjoined it had belonged jointly to another room
- in the suite. But now these two rooms were always let separately. Still,
- however, the bathroom was a joint affair. When Tommy wished to bathe he
- must first insure privacy by hooking on the inside the door that led into
- the bathroom from the chamber beyond.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old party in the next room?&rdquo; questioned Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Tommy, who had benefited by his cold sluicing and his
- rubdown. &ldquo;I gave him a few bubbles for his very own&mdash;through the
- keyhole into his room, you know. Poked that brass rod through and blew the
- bubble in his room. Detached it with a little jerk and let it float.
- Seemed more sociable, you know, to let him in on the fun. Never be stingy
- with your pleasures, Jack. Shows a mean spirit&mdash;a mean soul. Why not
- cheer the old party up with soap bubbles? Cost little, bubbles do. More
- than likely he's a stranger in New York. Unfriendly city, he thinks. Big
- city. Nobody thinks of him. Nobody cares for him. Away from home. Winter
- day. Melancholy. Well, I say, give him a bubble now and then. Shows some
- one is thinking of him. Shows the world isn't so thoughtless and gloomy
- after all. Neighborly sort of thing to do, Jack. Makes him think of his
- youth&mdash;home&mdash;mother's knee&mdash;all that kind of thing, Jack.
- Cheers him up. Sat in the tub there and got to thinking of him. Almost
- cried, Jack, when I thought how lonely the old man must be&mdash;got one
- of these old man's voices. Whiskers. Whiskers deduced from the voice. So I
- climbed out of the tub every ten or fifteen minutes all afternoon and gave
- the old man a bubble. Rain outside&mdash;fog, sleet. Dark indoors. Old man
- sits and thinks nobody loves him. Along comes a bubble. Old man gets
- happy. Laughs. Remembers his infancy. Skies clear. You think I'm a selfish
- person, Jack? I'm not. I'm a Samaritan. Where will we eat?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are a darned fool,&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;You say he took them seriously? What
- do you mean? Did he like 'em?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Couldn't quite make out,&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;But they moved him. Gasped every
- now and then. Think he prayed. Emotion, Jack. Probably made him think of
- boyhood's happy days down on the farm. Heard him talking to himself. Think
- he cried. Went to bed anyhow with his clothes on and pulled the covers
- over his head. Looked through the keyhole and saw that. Gray whiskers
- sticking up, and that's all. Deduced the whiskers from the voice, Jack.
- Let's give the old party a couple more bubbles and then go eat. It's been
- an hour since he's had one. Thinks I'm forgetting him, no doubt.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So they gave the old man a couple of bubbles, poking the brass rod through
- the keyhole of the door.
- </p>
- <p>
- The result was startling and unexpected. First there came a gasp from the
- other room, a sort of whistling release of the breath, and an instant
- later a high, whining, nasal voice.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God! You meant it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The two young men started back and looked at each other in wonderment.
- There was such a quivering agony, such an utter groveling terror in this
- voice from the room beyond that they were daunted.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What's eating him?&rdquo; asked Dobson, instinctively dropping his tones to a
- whisper.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't know,&rdquo; said Tommy, temporarily subdued. &ldquo;Sounds like that last
- one shell-shocked him when it exploded, doesn't it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But Tommy was subdued only for a moment.
- </p>
- <p>
- As they went out into the corridor he giggled and remarked, &ldquo;Told you he
- took 'em seriously, Jack.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- II
- </h3>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Seriously&rdquo; was a word scarcely strong enough for the way in which the old
- party in the room beyond had taken it, though he had not, in fact, seen
- the bubble. He had only seen a puff of smoke coming apparently from
- nowhere, originating in the air itself, as it seemed to him, manifesting
- itself, materializing itself out of nothing, and floating in front of the
- one eye which was peeping fearfully out of the huddled bedclothing which
- he had drawn over himself. He had lain quaking on the bed, waiting for
- this puff of smoke for an hour or more, hoping against hope that it would
- not come, praying and muttering, knotting his bony hands in the whiskers
- that Tommy had seen sticking up from the coverings, twisting convulsively.
- </p>
- <p>
- Tommy had whimsically filled the bubble, as he blew it, with smoke from
- his cigarette. He had in like manner, throughout the afternoon and
- early-evening, filled all the bubbles that he had given the old man with
- cigarette or pipe smoke. The old party had not been bowled over by
- anything in Tommy's tobacco. He had not noticed that the smoke was tobacco
- smoke, for he had been smoking a pipe himself the greater part of the day,
- and had not aired out the room. It was neither bubbles nor tobacco that
- had flicked a raw spot on his soul. It was smoke.
- </p>
- <h3>
- III
- </h3>
- <p>
- Bubbles! They seemed to be in Tommy's brain. Perhaps it was the
- association of ideas that made him think of champagne. At any rate he
- declared that he must have some, and vetoed his friend's suggestion that
- they dine&mdash;as they frequently did&mdash;at one of the little Italian
- table d'hote places in Greenwich Village.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're a bubble and I'm a bubble and the world is a bubble,&rdquo; Tommy was
- saying a little later as he watched the gas stirring in his golden drink.
- </p>
- <p>
- They had gone to the genial old Brevoort, which was&mdash;but why tell
- persons who missed the Brevoort in its mellower days what they missed, and
- why cause anguished yearnings in the bosoms of those who knew it well?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tommy,&rdquo; said his friend, &ldquo;don't, if you love me, hand out any more of
- your jejune poeticism or musical-comedy philosophy. I'll agree with you
- that the world is a bubble for the sake of argument, if you'll change the
- record. I want to eat, and nothing interferes with my pleasure in a meal
- so much as this line of pseudocerebration that you seem to have adopted
- lately.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bubbles seem trivial things, Jack,&rdquo; went on Tommy, altogether
- unperturbed. &ldquo;But I have a theory that there aren't any trivial things. I
- like to think of the world balancing itself on a trivial thing. Look at
- the Kaiser, for instance. A madman. Well, let's say there's been a blood
- clot in his brain for years&mdash;a little trivial thing the size of a pin
- point, Jack. It hooks up with the wrong brain cell; it gets into the wrong
- channel, and&mdash;pouf! The world goes to war. A thousand million people
- are affected by it&mdash;by that one little clot of blood no bigger than a
- pin point that gets into the wrong channel. An atom! A planet balanced on
- an atom! A star pivoting on a molecule!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Have some soup,&rdquo; said his friend.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bubbles! Bubbles and butterflies!&rdquo; continued Tommy. &ldquo;Some day, Jack, I'm
- going to write a play in which a butterfly's wing brushes over an empire.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No, you're not,&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;You're just going to talk about it and think
- you're writing it and peddle the idea round to everybody you know, and
- then finally some wise guy is going to grab it off and really write it.
- You've been going to write a play ever since I knew you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, I am; I'm really going to write that play.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, Tommy,&rdquo; said Jack, looking round the chattering dining room, &ldquo;this
- is a hell of a place to do it in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Meaning, of course,&rdquo; said Tommy serenely, &ldquo;that it takes more than a
- butterfly to write a play about a butterfly.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You get me,&rdquo; said his friend. And then after a pause he went on with
- sincerity in his manner: &ldquo;You know I think you could write the play,
- Tommy. But unless you get to work on some of your ideas pretty soon, and
- buckle down to them in earnest, other people will continue to write your
- plays&mdash;and you will continue to josh them and yourself, and your
- friends will continue to think that you could write better plays if you
- would only do it. People aren't going to take you seriously, Tommy, till
- you begin to take yourself a little seriously. Why, you poor, futile,
- silly, misguided, dear old mutt, you! You don't even have sense enough&mdash;you
- don't have the moral continuity, if you follow me&mdash;to stay sore at a
- man that does you dirt! Now, do you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I don't know about that,&rdquo; said Tommy a little more seriously.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well now, do you?&rdquo; persisted his friend. &ldquo;I don't say it's good Christian
- doctrine not to forgive people. It isn't. But I've seen people put things
- across on you, Tommy, and seen you laugh it off and let 'em be friends
- with you again inside of six weeks. I couldn't do it, and nine-tenths of
- the fellows we know couldn't do it; and in the way you do it it shouldn't
- be done. You should at least remember, even if you do forgive; remember
- well enough not to get bit by the same dog again. With you, old kid, it's
- all a part of your being a butterfly and a bubble. It's no particular
- virtue in you. I wouldn't talk to you like a Dutch uncle if I didn't think
- you had it in you to make good. But you've got to be prodded.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's one fellow that did me dirt,&rdquo; said Tommy musingly, &ldquo;that I've
- never taken to my bosom again.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What did you do to him?&rdquo; asked his friend. &ldquo;Beat him to death with a
- butterfly's wing, Tommy, or blow him out of existence with a soap bubble?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I've never done anything to him,&rdquo; said Tommy soberly. &ldquo;And I don't think
- I ever would do anything to him. I just remember, that's all. If he ever
- gets his come-uppance, as they say in the rural districts, it won't be
- through any act of mine. Let life take revenge for me. I never will.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose you're right,&rdquo; said Dobson. &ldquo;But who was this guy? And what did
- he do to you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- IV
- </h3>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He was&mdash;and is&mdash;my uncle,&rdquo; said Tommy, &ldquo;and he did about
- everything to me. Listen! You think I do nothing but flitter, flutter,
- frivol and flivver! And you may be right, and maybe I never will do
- anything else. Maybe I never will be anything but a kid.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was young when I was born. No, that's not one of my silly lines, Jack.
- I mean it seriously. I was young when I was born. I was born with a jolly
- disposition. But this uncle of mine took it out of me. I'll say he did!
- The reason I'm such a kid now, Jack, is because I had to grow up when I
- was about five years old, and I stayed grown up until I was seventeen or
- eighteen. I never had a chance to be a boy. If I showed any desire to be
- it was knocked out of me on the spot. And if I live two hundred years, and
- stay nineteen years old all that time, Jack, I won't any more than make up
- for the childhood I missed&mdash;that was stolen from me. Frivol? I could
- frivol a thousand years and not dull my appetite. I want froth, Jack:
- froth and bubbles!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This old uncle of mine&mdash;he wasn't so old in years when I first knew
- him, but in his soul he was as old as the overseers who whipped the slaves
- that built Cheops' pyramid, and as sandy and as flinty&mdash;hated me as
- soon as he saw me. He hated me before he saw me. He would have hated me if
- he had never seen me, because I was young and happy and careless.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was that, when I went to live with him&mdash;young and happy and
- careless. I was five years old. He was my father's brother, Uncle Ezra
- was, and he beat my father out of money in his dirty, underhanded way. Oh,
- nothing illegal! At least, I suppose not. Uncle Ezra was too cautious to
- do anything that might be found out on him. There was nothing that my
- mother could prove, at any rate, and my father had been careless and had
- trusted him. When my father died my mother was ill. He gave us a home,
- Uncle Ezra did. She had to live somewhere; she had to have a roof over her
- head and attention of some sort. She had no near relations, and I had to
- be looked after.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So she and I went into his house to live. It was to be temporary. We were
- to move as soon as she got better. But she did not live long. I don't
- remember her definitely as she was before we went to live with Uncle Ezra.
- I can only see her as she lay on a bed in a dark room before she died. It
- was a large wooden bed, with wooden slats and a straw mattress. I can see
- myself sitting on a chair by the head of the bed and talking to her. My
- feet did not reach to the floor by any means; they only reached to the
- chair rungs. I can't remember what she said or what I said. All I remember
- of her is that she had very bright eyes and that her arms were thin. I
- remember her arms, but not her face, except the eyes. I suppose she used
- to reach her arms out to me. I think she must have been jolly at one time,
- too. There is a vague feeling, a remembrance, that before we went to Uncle
- Ezra's she was jolly, and that she and I laughed and played together in
- some place where there was red-clover bloom.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day when I was siting on the chair, the door opened and Uncle Ezra
- came in. There was some man with him that was, I suppose, a doctor. I can
- recall Uncle Ezra's false grin and the way he put his hand on my head&mdash;to
- impress the doctor, I suppose&mdash;and the way I pulled away from him.
- For I felt that he disliked me, and I feared and hated him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, Uncle Ezra gave us a home. I don't know how much you know about the
- rural districts, Jack. But when an Uncle Ezra in a country town gives some
- one a home he acquires merit. This was a little town in Pennsylvania that
- Pm talking about, and Uncle Ezra was a prominent citizen&mdash;deacon in
- the church and all that sort of thing. Truly rural drama stuff, Jack, but
- I can't help that&mdash;it's true. Uncle Ezra had a reputation for being
- stingy and mean. Giving us a home was a good card for him to play. My
- mother had a little money, and he stole that, too, when she died.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose he stole it legally. I don't know. It wasn't much. No one had
- any particular interest in looking out for me, and nobody would want to
- start anything in opposition to Uncle Ezra in that town if it could be
- helped anyhow. He didn't have the whole village and the whole of the
- farming country round about sewed up, all by himself, but he was one of
- the little group that did. There's a gang like that in every country town,
- I imagine. He was one of four or five big ducks in that little puddle&mdash;lent
- money, took mortgages and all that kind of thing you read about. I don't
- know how much he is worth now, counting what he has been stealing all his
- life. But it can't be a staggering sum. He's too cowardly to plunge or
- take a long chance. He steals and saves and grinds in a little way. He is
- too mean and small and blind and limited in his intelligence to be a big,
- really successful crook, such as you will find in New York City.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When my mother died, of course, I stayed with Uncle Ezra. I suppose
- everybody said how good it was of him to keep me, and that it showed a
- soft and kindly spot in his nature after all, and that he couldn't be so
- hard as he had the name of being. But I don't see what else could have
- been done with me, unless he had taken me out and dropped me in the mill
- pond like a blind cat. Sometimes I used to wish he had done that.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It isn't hard to put a five-year-old kid in the wrong, so as to make it
- appear&mdash;even to the child himself&mdash;that he is bad and
- disobedient. Uncle Ezra began that way with me. I'm not going into
- details. This isn't a howl; it's merely an explanation. But he persecuted
- me in every way. He put me to work before I should have known what work
- was&mdash;work too hard for me. He deviled me and he beat me, he clothed
- me like a beggar and he fed me like a dog, he robbed me of childhood and
- of boyhood. I won't go over the whole thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never had decent shoes, or a hat that wasn't a rag, and I never went to
- kid parties or anything, or even owned so much as an air rifle of my own.
- The only pair of skates I ever had, Jack, I made for myself out of two old
- files, with the help of the village blacksmith&mdash;and I got licked for
- that. Uncle Ezra said I had stolen the files and the straps. They belonged
- to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But there's one thing I remember with more of anger than any other. He
- used to make me kneel down and pray every night before I went to bed, in
- his presence; and sometimes he would pray with me. He was a deacon in the
- church. There are plenty of them on the square&mdash;likely most of them
- are. But this one was the kind you used to see in the old-fashioned
- melodramas. Truly rural stuff, Jack. He used to be quite a shark at prayer
- himself, Uncle Ezra did. I can remember how he looked when he prayed, with
- his eyes shut and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down and the sound
- whining through his nose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The only person that was ever human to me was a woman I called Aunt
- Lizzie. I don't know really what relation she wras to me; a distant cousin
- of Uncle Ezra's, I think. She was half blind and she was deaf, and he
- bullied her and made her do all the housework. She was bent nearly double
- with drudgery. He had given her a home, too. She didn't dare be very good
- to me. He might find it out, and then we both would catch it. She baked me
- some apple dumplings once on one of my birthdays. I was nine years old.
- And he said she had stolen the apples and flour from him; that he had not
- ordered her to make any apple dumplings, and it was theft; and he made me
- pray for her, and made her pray for herself, and he prayed for both of us
- in family prayers every day for a week.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was nearly eighteen when I ran away. I might have done it sooner, but I
- was small for my age, and I was cowed. I didn't dare to call my soul my
- own, and I had a reputation for being queer, too. For I used to grin and
- laugh at things no one else thought were funny&mdash;when Uncle Ezra
- wasn't round. I suppose people in that town thought it was odd that I
- could laugh at all. No one could understand how I had a laugh left in me.
- But when I was alone I used to laugh. I used to laugh at myself sometimes
- because I was so little and so queer. When I was seventeen I wasn't much
- bigger than a thirteen-year-old kid should be. I packed a lot of growing
- into the years between seventeen and twenty-one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When I ran away Aunt Lizzie gave me eighty-seven cents, all in nickels
- and pennies, and there were two or three of those old-fashioned two-cent
- pieces in it, too, that she had had for God knows how long. It was all she
- had. I don't suppose he ever paid her anything at all, and the wonder was
- she had that much. I told her that when I got out into the world and made
- good I would come and get her, but she shivered all over with fright at
- the idea of daring to leave. I have sent her things from time to time in
- the last ten years&mdash;money, and dresses I have bought for her, and
- little things I thought she would like. But I don't know whether he let
- her have them or not I never got any letter from her at all. I don't even
- know whether she can write, to tell the truth, and she wouldn't dare get
- one of the neighbors to write for her. But if I ever make any real money,
- Jack, I am going to go and get her, whether she dares to come away or not.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle Ezra
- hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a town where
- there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep school
- attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and college in
- five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute I got away
- from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The clouds rolled by
- and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned into a kid. I
- romped through that prep school and that college, and made my own living
- while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved the world and
- everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes to a duck. I
- came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a chance as a
- reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
- good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
- want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much I'm
- never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have a dream
- that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little town, and
- that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New York
- to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that place, and
- I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If he ever
- really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used to
- be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
- enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll ever
- change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't know
- that I'd ever do anything to him if I did&mdash;beat him to death with a
- butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested. Let
- him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is. I
- wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other&mdash;not even a
- puff of cigarette smoke.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
- finished, and then he remarked, &ldquo;Let's go somewhere and dance.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown,&rdquo; suggested Jack, &ldquo;and I have a couple of
- tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
- Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- V
- </h3>
- <p>
- But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
- beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
- sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
- saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party in the room next to Tommy's at the hotel had arrived the day
- before, with an umbrella, a straw suitcase and a worried eye on either
- side his long, white, chalkish, pitted nose. He seemed chilly in spite of
- his large plum-colored overcoat, of a cut that has survived only in the
- rural districts. He wore a salient, assertive beard, that had once been
- sandy and was now almost white, but it was the only assertive thing about
- him. His manner was far from aggressive.
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour after he had been shown to his room he appeared at the desk again
- and inquired timidly of the clerk, &ldquo;There's a fire near here?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Little blaze in the next block. Doesn't amount to anything,&rdquo; said the
- clerk.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I heard the&mdash;the engines,&rdquo; said the guest apologetically.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Doesn't amount to anything,&rdquo; said the clerk again. And then, &ldquo;Nervous
- about fire?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party seemed startled.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who? Me? Why should I be nervous about fire? No! No! No!&rdquo; He beat a
- sudden retreat. &ldquo;I was just asking&mdash;just asking,&rdquo; he threw back over
- his shoulder.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old duck's scared of fire and ashamed to own it,&rdquo; mused the clerk,
- watching him out of the lobby.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party went back to his room, and there one of the first things he
- saw was a copy of the Bible lying on the bureau. There is an organization
- which professes for its object the placing of a Bible in every hotel room
- in the land. The old party had his own Bible with him. As if reminded of
- it by the one on the bureau, he took it out of his suitcase and sat down
- and began to turn the leaves like a person familiar with the book&mdash;and
- like a person in need of comfort, as indeed he was.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was a text in Matthew that he sought&mdash;where was it? Somewhere
- in the first part of Matthew's gospel&mdash;ah, here it is: The twelfth
- chapter and the thirty-first verse:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men....&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- There is a terrible reservation in the same verse. He kept his eyes from
- it, and read the first part over and over, forming the syllables with his
- lips, but not speaking aloud.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All manner of sin&mdash;all manner of sin&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;-&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then, as if no longer able to avoid it, he yielded his consciousness
- to the latter clause of the verse:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- What was blasphemy against the Holy Ghost? Could what he had done be
- construed as that? Probably if one lied to God in his prayers, that was
- blasphemy against the Holy Ghost&mdash;one form of it. And had he been
- lying to God these last two weeks when he had said over and over again in
- his prayers that it was all a mistake? It hadn't been all a mistake, but
- the worst part of it had been a mistake.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went out for his dinner that evening, but he was in again before ten
- o'clock. He could not have slept well. At two o'clock in the morning he
- appeared in front of the desk.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had heard fire engines again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
- done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
- fire, &ldquo;you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
- we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
- down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
- to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At noon
- he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the Eden
- Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had been
- closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture house
- round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet all
- together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party elected
- not to go out after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
- descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
- brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
- himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no good.
- Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and was
- experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him and the
- agony would begin again.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old debate&mdash;he had burned the store, with the living quarters
- over it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
- insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
- wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was merely
- sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before that, when
- one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been forced to
- accept from the same insurance company less than was actually due him as a
- matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that company by a shrewd
- trick was in a way merely to get back his own again. It wasn't the sort of
- thing that a deacon in the church would care to have found out on him, of
- course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was the wrong that it had led to
- that worried him.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn her
- to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
- cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was not
- to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must have
- crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she was
- there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I didn't know! I didn't know!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was at midnight that he had set fire to the place. The old woman was
- deaf. Even when the flames began to crackle she could not have heard them.
- She had had no more chance than a rat in a trap. The old fool! It was her
- own fault! Why had she not obeyed him? Why had she come creeping back,
- like a deaf old half-blind tabby cat, to die in the flames? It was her own
- fault! When he thought of the way she had returned to kill herself there
- were moments when he cursed and hated her.
- </p>
- <p>
- But had she killed herself? Back and forth swung the inner argument. At
- times he saw clearly enough that this incident joined on without a break
- to the texture of his whole miserable life; when he recognized that,
- though it might be an accident in a strictly literal sense that the old
- woman was dead, yet it was the sort of accident for which his previous
- existence had been a preparation. Even while he fiercely denied his guilt,
- or talked of it in a seizure of whining prayer that was essentially a
- lying denial, he knew that guilt there was.
- </p>
- <p>
- Would he be forgiven? There were comforting passages in the Bible. He
- switched on the rather insufficient electric light, which was all the old
- hotel provided, for the day was too dark to read without that help, and
- turned the pages of the New Testament through and through again.
- </p>
- <p>
- At three o'clock in the afternoon he was sitting on the edge of his bed,
- with the book open in front of him and his head bowed, almost dozing. His
- pipe, with which he had filled the room with the fumes of tobacco, had
- fallen to the floor. Perhaps it was weariness, but for a brief period his
- sharper sense of fear had been somewhat stilled again. Maybe it was going
- to be like this&mdash;a gradual easing off of the strain in answer to his
- prayers. He had asked God for an answer as to whether he should be
- forgiven, and God was answering in this way, so he told himself. God was
- going to let him get some sleep, and maybe when he woke everything would
- be all right again&mdash;bearable at least.
- </p>
- <p>
- So he mused, half asleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then all at once he sprang wide awake again, and his terror wakened
- with him. For suddenly in front of his half-shut eyes, coming from nowhere
- in particular, there passed a puff of smoke!
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it mean? He had asked God for an answer. He had been lulled for
- a moment almost into something like peace, and&mdash;now&mdash;this puff
- of smoke! Was it a sign? Was it God's answer?
- </p>
- <p>
- He sat up on the edge of the bed, rigid, in a cold, still agony of
- superstitious fright. He dared not move or turn his head. He was afraid
- that he would see&mdash;something&mdash;if he looked behind him. He was
- afraid that he would in another moment hear something&mdash;a voice!
- </p>
- <p>
- He closed his eyes. He prayed. He prayed aloud. His eyes once closed, he
- scarcely dared open them again. After seme minutes he began to tell
- himself that perhaps he had been mistaken; perhaps he had not seen smoke
- at all. Perhaps even if he had seen smoke it was due to some explicable
- cause, and not meant for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- He greatly dared. He opened his eyes. And drifting lazily above the white
- pillow at the head of the bed was another puff of smoke.
- </p>
- <p>
- He rocked back and forth upon the bed, with his arms up as if to shield
- his head from a physical blow, and then he passed in a moment from the
- quakings of fear to a kind of still certainty of doom. God was angry at
- him. God was telling him so. God would send the devil for him. There was
- no further doubt. He would go to hell&mdash;to hell! To burn forever!
- Forever&mdash;even as the old woman had burned for a quarter of an hour.
- He began to search through the pages of the Bible again, not for words of
- comfort this time, but in a morbid ecstasy of despair, for phrases about
- hell, for verses that mentioned fire and flames.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not need the concordance. He knew his Bible well, and his fear
- helped him. Consciousness and subconsciousness joined to guide his fingers
- and eyes in the quest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming,&rdquo; he read
- in Isaiah, and he took it to himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and ye
- shall be melted in the midst thereof,&rdquo; he read in Ezekiel.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had a literal imagination, and he had a literal belief, and at every
- repetition of the word &ldquo;fire&rdquo; the flesh cringed and crawled on his bones.
- God! To burn! How it must hurt!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And the God that answereth by fire, let Him be God,&rdquo; met his eyes in the
- first book of Kings.
- </p>
- <p>
- And it all meant him. Now and then over his shoulder would float another
- little puff of smoke; and once, lifting his head suddenly from poring over
- the book, he thought he saw something that moved and glinted like a
- traveling spark, and was gone.
- </p>
- <p>
- He began to feel himself in hell already. This was the foretaste, that was
- all. Would he begin to burn even before he died? Did this smoke presage
- something of that kind? Would flames physically seize upon him, and would
- he burn, even as the old woman had burned?
- </p>
- <p>
- Suddenly in his hysteria there came a revulsion&mdash;a revolt. Having
- reached the nethermost depths of despair, he began to move upward a
- little. His soul stirred and took a step and tried to climb. He began to
- pray once more. After all, the Good Book did promise mercy! He began to
- dare to pray again. And he prayed in a whisper that now and then broke
- into a whine&mdash;a strange prayer, characteristic of the man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, God,&rdquo; he cried, &ldquo;you promise forgiveness in that book there, and I'm
- gonna hold you to it! I'm gonna hold you to it! It's down there in black
- and white, your own words, God, and I'm gonna hold you to it! It's a
- contract, God, and you ain't the kind of a man, God, to go back on a
- contract that's down in black and white!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Thus he prayed, with a naïve, unconscious blasphemy. And after long
- minutes of this sort of thing his soul dared take another step. A faint,
- far glimmering of hope came to him where he groveled. For he was groveling
- on the bed now, with the covers pulled up to his head and his hand upon
- the open Bible. He found the courage to peer from beneath the covers at
- intervals as he prayed and muttered, and minutes passed with no more
- smoke. Had the smoke ceased? The sound of his own murmuring voice began to
- reassure him. The smoke had certainly ceased! It had been twenty minutes
- since he had seen it&mdash;half an hour!
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it mean? That God was hearkening to his prayer?
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour went by, and still there was no more sign of smoke. He prayed
- feverishly, he gabbled, as if by the rapidity of his utterance and the
- repeated strokes of his words he were beating back and holding at bay the
- smoke that was God's warning and the symbol of his displeasure. And the
- smoke had ceased to come! He was to be forgiven! He was winning! His
- prayers were winning for him! At least God was listening!
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, that must be it. God was listening now. The smoke had come as a
- warning; and he had, upon receiving this warning, repented. God had not
- meant, after all, that he was doomed irrevocably. God had meant that, to
- be forgiven, his repentance must be genuine, must be thorough&mdash;and it
- was thorough now. Now it was genuine! And the smoke had ceased! The smoke
- had been a sign, and he had heeded the sign, and now if he kept up his
- prayers and lived a good life in the future he was to be forgiven. He
- would not have to burn in hell after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- The minutes passed, and he prayed steadily, and every minute that went by
- and brought no further sign of the smoke built up in him a little more
- hope, another grain of confidence.
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour and a quarter, and he almost dared be sure that he was forgiven&mdash;but
- he was not quite sure. If he could only be quite sure! He wallowed on the
- bed, and his hand turned idly the pages of the Bible, lying outside on the
- coverlet.
- </p>
- <p>
- More than an hour had gone by. Could he accept it as an indication that
- God had indeed heard him? He shifted himself upon the bed, and stared up
- at the ceiling through a chink in the covers as if through and beyond the
- ceiling he were interrogating heaven.
- </p>
- <p>
- And lying so, there came a damp touch upon his hand, soft and chill and
- silent, as if it were delicately and ironically brushed by the kiss of
- Death. A sudden agony numbed his hand and arm. With the compulsion of
- hysteria, not to be resisted, his head lifted and he sat up and looked.
- Over the Bible and his hand that lay upon the open page there floated
- again a puff of smoke, and faintly staining his Angers and the paper
- itself was something moist and red. It stained his Angers and it marked
- with red for his straining sight this passage of Isaiah:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The earth also shall disclose her blood.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was then he cried out, &ldquo;Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God!
- You meant it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was nearly midnight when Tommy and his friend Dobson returned to the
- hotel. &ldquo;Your paper's been trying to get you for an hour, Mr. Hawkins,&rdquo;
- said the night clerk when they came in. &ldquo;Story right in the next room to
- yours. Old party in there hanged himself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So?&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;Ungrateful old guy, he is! I put in the afternoon
- trying to cheer him up a little.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did you know him?&rdquo; asked the clerk.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy, moving toward the elevator.
- </p>
- <p>
- But a few moments later, confronted with the grotesque spectacle in the
- room upstairs, he said, &ldquo;Yes&mdash;I&mdash;I know him. Jack! Jack! Get me
- out of here, Jack! It's Uncle Ezra, Jack! He's&mdash;he's come for me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As has been remarked before, sometimes even a bubble may be a mordant
- weapon.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VIII.&mdash;The Chances of the Street
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">M</span>erriwether Buck
- had lost all his money. Also his sisters', and his cousins', and his
- aunts'.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At two o'clock sharp I will shoot myself,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck.
- </p>
- <p>
- He caressed a ten-shot automatic pistol in the right-hand pocket of his
- coat as he loitered up Broadway. He was light-headed. He had had nothing
- to eat for forty-eight hours.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;How I hate you!&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, comprehensively to the city in
- general. &ldquo;If nine pistol shots would blot you out, I'd do it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Very melodramatic language, this, for a well-brought-up young man; and
- thus indicating that he was light-headed, indeed. And as for the city, it
- continued to roar and rattle and honk and rumble and squeak and bawl and
- shuffle and thunder and grate in the same old way&mdash;supreme in its
- confidence that nine pistol shots could not, by any possibility, blot it
- out. That is one of the most disconcerting things about a city; you become
- enraged at it, and the city doesn't even know it. Unless you happen to be
- Nero it is very difficult to blot them out satisfactorily.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was one o'clock. Merriwether Buck crossed the street at Herald Square
- and went over and stood in front of the big newspaper office. A portly
- young fellow with leaden eyes came out of the building and stood
- meditatively on the curb with his hands in the pockets of clothing that
- clamored shrilly of expense.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Excuse me,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, approaching him, &ldquo;but are you, by any
- chance, a reporter?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh,&rdquo; grunted the young man, frigidly affirmative.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I can put you in the way of a good story,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, obeying
- an impulse: We may live anonymously but most of us like to feel that it
- will make a little stir when we die.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh,&rdquo; remarked the reporter.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At two o'clock,&rdquo; persisted Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;I am going to shoot
- myself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The reporter looked bored; his specialty was politics.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Are you anybody in particular?&rdquo; he asked, discouragingly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; confessed Merriwether Buck. It didn't seem to be worth while to
- mention that he was one of the Bucks of Bucktown, Merriwether County,
- Georgia.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thought,&rdquo; said the reporter, with an air of rebuke, &ldquo;that you said it
- was a <i>good</i> story.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am, at least, a human being,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, on the defensive.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;They're cheap, hereabout,&rdquo; returned the other, in the manner of a person
- who has estimated a good many assorted lots.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are callous,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck. &ldquo;Callous to the soul! What are
- you, but&mdash;but&mdash;Why, you are New York incarnate! That is what you
- are! And I think I will shoot you first!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want to be a spoil sport,&rdquo; said the reporter, &ldquo;but I'm afraid I
- can't allow it. I have a rather important assignment.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether played with the little automatic pistol in his pocket. It was
- not any regard for the consequences that deterred him from shooting the
- portly young man. But in his somewhat dizzy brain a fancy was taking
- shape; a whim worked in him. He drew his hand empty from the pocket, and
- that reporter came up out of the grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am hungry,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, in obedience to the whim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now that you remind me of it,&rdquo; said the other, his lack-luster eyes
- lighting up a little, &ldquo;so am I!&rdquo; And he crossed the street and disappeared
- through the swinging doors of a café.
- </p>
- <p>
- Callous, leaden-eyed young man! epitome of this hard town! So cried the
- spirit of Merriwether Buck; and then he spoke aloud, formulating his idea:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;New York, you are on trial. You are in the balances. I give you an hour.
- If I'm asked to lunch by two o'clock, all right. If not, I will kill
- myself, first carefully shooting down the most prosperous citizens, and as
- many of 'em as I can reach. New York, it's up to you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The idea of playing it out that way tickled him to the heart; he had
- always loved games of chance. One man or woman out of all the prosperous
- thousands in the streets might save another prosperous half-dozen; might
- save as many as he could otherwise reach with nine shots from his pistol,
- for he would reserve the tenth for himself. Otherwise, there should be a
- sacrifice; he would offer up a blood atonement for the pagan city's
- selfishness. Giddy and feverish, and drunk with the sense of his power to
- slay, he beheld himself as a kind of grotesque priest&mdash;and he threw
- back his head and laughed at the maniac conceit.
- </p>
- <p>
- A woman who was passing turned at the sound, and their eyes met. She
- smiled. Merriwether Buck was good to look at. So was she. She was of that
- type of which men are certain at once, without quite knowing why; while
- women are often puzzled, saying to themselves: &ldquo;After all, it may be only
- her rings.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, overtaking her, &ldquo;but you and I are to
- lunch together, aren't we?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I like your nerve!&rdquo; said she. And she laughed. It was evident that she
- did like it. &ldquo;Where?&rdquo; she asked briefly, falling into step beside him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wherever you like,&rdquo; said Merriwether. &ldquo;I leave that to you, as I'm
- depending on you to pay the check.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She began a doubtful laugh, and then, seeing that it wasn't a joke,
- repeated:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I like your nerve!&rdquo; And it was now evident that she didn't like it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; he said, speaking rapidly, &ldquo;my clothes look all right yet, but
- I'm broke. I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since day before
- yesterday. I'm not kidding you; it's true. You looked like a good fellow
- to me, and I took a chance. Hunger&rdquo; (as he spoke it he seemed to remember
- having heard the remark before), &ldquo;hunger makes one a judge of faces; I
- gambled on yours.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She wasn't complimented; she regarded him with a manner in which scorn and
- incredulity were blended; Merriwether Buck perceived that, for some reason
- or other, she was insulted.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;don't pull any of that sentimental stuff on me. I
- thought you was a gentleman!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And she turned away from him. He took a step in pursuit and started to
- renew his plea; for he was determined to play his game square and give the
- directing deities of the city a fair chance to soften whatsoever random
- heart they would.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Beat it!&rdquo; she shrilled, &ldquo;beat it, you cheap grafter, or I'll call a cop!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Merriwether beat it; nor' by nor'west he beat it, as the street beats
- it; as the tides beat. The clock on the Times building marked 1.20 as he
- paused by the subway station there. In forty minutes&mdash;just the time
- it takes to hook your wife's dress or put a girdle round the world&mdash;Merri-wether
- Buck would be beating it toward eternity, shooing before him a flock of
- astonished ghosts of his own making. Twenty minutes had gone by and
- whatever gods they be that rule New York had made no sign; perhaps said
- gods were out at lunch or gone to Coney Island. Twice twenty minutes more,
- and&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- But no. It is all over now. It must be. There emerges from the subway
- station one who is unmistakably a preacher. The creases of his face attest
- a smiling habit; no doubt long years of doing good have given it that
- stamp; the puffs of white hair above the temples add distinction to
- benignity.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I beg your pardon,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;but are you a minister?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh?&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman, adjusting a pair of gold-rimmed
- eyeglasses. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said pleasantly, &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; and he removed the glasses
- and put them back on once again, as he spoke. Somehow, the way he did it
- was a benediction.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am hungry,&rdquo; said Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dear me!&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman. &ldquo;I shouldn't have thought it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Will you ask me to lunch?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh?&rdquo; It was an embarrassing question; but the gentleman was all good
- nature. His air indicated that he did not intend to let his own
- embarrassment embarrass Merriwether too much. &ldquo;My dear man, you know&mdash;really&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- He placed a shapely hand upon Merriwether's shoulder, rallyingly, almost
- affectionately, and completed the sentence with a laugh.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's charity I'm asking for,&rdquo; said Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; For some reason he seemed vastly relieved. &ldquo;Have you been&mdash;but,
- dear me, are you sure you aren't joking?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes; sure.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And have you&mdash;ahem!&mdash;have you sought aid from any institution;
- any charitable organization, you know?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But no,&rdquo; said Merriwether, who had instinctively eliminated charitable
- organizations, free lunches and police stations from the terms of his
- wager, &ldquo;I thought&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My, my, my,&rdquo; hummed the reverend gentleman, interrupting him. He produced
- his card case and took a card therefrom. &ldquo;I am going,&rdquo; he said, writing on
- the card with a pencil, &ldquo;to give you my card to the secretary of the
- Combined Charities. Excellent system they have there. You'll be
- investigated, you know,&rdquo; he said brightly, as if that were an especial
- boon he was conferring, &ldquo;your record looked into&mdash;character and
- antecedents and all that sort of thing!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And fed?&rdquo; asked Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, indeed!&rdquo; And he handed over the card as if he were giving Merriwether
- the keys to the city&mdash;but not too gross and material a city either;
- Merriwether felt almost as if he were being baptized.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;I wanted <i>you</i> to feed me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, my dear man!&rdquo; smiled the minister, &ldquo;I <i>am</i> doing it, you know.
- I'm a subscriber&mdash;do <i>all</i> my charitable work this way. Saves
- time. Well, good-by.&rdquo; And he nodded cheerily.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;aren't you interested in me personally?
- Don't you want to hear my story?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Story? Story?&rdquo; hummed the other. &ldquo;Indeed, but they'll learn your story
- there! They have the most excellent system there; card system; cases and
- case numbers, you know&mdash;Stories, bless you! Hundreds and hundreds of
- stories! Big file cases! You'll be number so-and-so. Really,&rdquo; he said,
- with a beaming enthusiasm, &ldquo;they have a <i>wonderful</i> system. Well,
- good-by!&rdquo; There was a touch of finality in his pleasant tone, but
- Merriwether caught him by the sleeve.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;haven't you even got any <i>curiosity</i> about me?
- Don't you even want to know why I'm hungry? Can't you find time <i>yourself</i>
- to listen to the tale?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Time,&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman, &ldquo;<i>time</i> is just what I feel the
- lack of&mdash;feel it sadly, at moments like these, sadly.&rdquo; He sighed, but
- it was an optimistic, good-humored sort of sigh. &ldquo;But I tell you what you
- do.&rdquo; He drew forth another card and scribbled on it. &ldquo;If you want to tell
- me your story so very badly&mdash;(dear me, what remarkable situations the
- clerical life lets one in for!)&mdash;so <i>very</i> badly, take this card
- to my study about 3.30. You'll find my stenographer there and you can
- dictate it to her; she'll type it out. Yes, indeed, she'll type it out!
- Well, <i>good</i>-by!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And with a bright backward nod he was off.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was 1.25. There were thirty-five minutes more of life. Merriwether Buck
- gave the reverend gentleman's cards to a seedy individual who begged from
- him, with the injunction to go and get himself charitably Bertilloned like
- a gentleman and stop whining, and turned eastward on Forty-second Street.
- If you have but thirty-five minutes of life, why not spend them on Fifth
- Avenue, where sightly things abound?&mdash;indeed if you happen to be a
- homicidal maniac of some hours standing, like Merriwether Buck, Fifth
- Avenue should be good hunting ground; the very place to mark the fat and
- greasy citizens of your sacrifice.
- </p>
- <p>
- Time, the only patrician, will not step lively for the pert subway guards
- of human need, nor yet slacken pace for any bawling traffic cop of man's
- desire; he comes of an old family too proud to rush, too proud to wait; a
- fine old fellow with a sense of his own value. Time walked with
- Merriwether Buck as he loitered up Fifth Avenue, for the old gentleman
- loves to assist personally at these little comedies, sometimes; with Death
- a hang-dog third. Not even a fly-cop took note of the trio, although
- several, if they robbed a jewelry store or anything like that, would tell
- the reporters later that they had noticed something suspicious at the
- time. And the patron deities of New York City might have been over in
- Hoboken playing pinochle for all the heed <i>they</i> took.
- </p>
- <p>
- Which brings us to Sixty-fifth Street and 1.58 o'clock and the presence of
- the great man, all at once.
- </p>
- <p>
- When Merriwether Buck first saw him, Meriwether Buck gasped. He couldn't
- believe it. And, indeed, it was a thing that might not happen again this
- year or next year or in five years&mdash;J. Dupont Evans, minus bulwark or
- attendant, even minus his habitual grouch, walking leisurely toward him
- like any approachable and common mortal. Merriwether Buck might well be
- incredulous. But it was he; the presentment of that remarkable face has
- been printed a hundred thousand times; it is as well known to the world at
- large as Uncle Pete Watson's cork leg is on the streets of Prairie Centre,
- Ill.; it is unmistakable.
- </p>
- <p>
- To have J. Dupont Evans at the point of a pistol might almost intoxicate
- some sane and well-fed men, and Merriwether Buck was neither. J. Dupont
- Evans&mdash;the wealth of Croesus would be just one cracked white chip in
- the game he plays. But at this moment his power and his importance had
- been extraordinarily multiplied by circumstances. The chances of the
- street had tumbled down a half dozen banks&mdash;(well did Merriwether
- Buck know that, since it had ruined him)&mdash;and financial panic was in
- the air; an epochal and staggering disaster threatened; and at this
- juncture a president in no wise humble had publicly confessed his own
- impotence and put it up to J. Dupont Evans to avert, to save, to reassure.
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether Buck had not dreamed of this; in the crook of his trigger
- finger lay, not merely the life of a man, but the immediate destiny of a
- nation.
- </p>
- <p>
- He grasped the pistol in his pocket, and aimed it through the cloth.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you know what time it is?&rdquo; he asked J. Dupont Evans, politely enough.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was only a second before the man answered. But in that second
- Merriwether Buck, crazily exalted, and avid of the sensation he was about
- to create, had a swift vision. He saw bank after bank come crashing down;
- great railroad systems ruined; factories closed and markets stagnant;
- mines shut and crops ungathered in the fields; ships idle at the wharves;
- pandemonium and ruin everywhere.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh?&rdquo; said J. Dupont Evans, gruffly, removing an unlighted cigar from his
- mouth. He looked at Merriwether Buck suspiciously, and made as if to move
- on. But he thought better of it the next instant, evidently, for he pulled
- out a plain silver watch and said grudgingly: &ldquo;Two minutes of two.&rdquo; And
- then, in a tone less unpleasant, he asked: &ldquo;Have you got a match, young
- man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether fumbled in his vest pocket. In a minute and a half he would
- perfunctorily ask this man for lunch, and then he would kill him. But he
- would give him a match first&mdash;for Merriwether Buck was a
- well-brought-up young man. As he fumbled he picked out the exact spot on
- the other's waistcoat where he would plant the bullet. But the idea of a
- man on the edge of the grave lighting a cigar tickled him so that he
- laughed aloud as he held out the matches.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What can I do with these?&rdquo; snorted J. Dupont Evans. &ldquo;They are the sort
- that light only on their own box.&rdquo; From his glance one might have gained
- the impression that he thought Merriwether Buck a fool.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Great principle that,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, cackling with hysteria. It
- was so funny that a dead man should want to smoke a cigar! He would let
- him play he was alive for fifty seconds longer.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Principle?&rdquo; said Evans. &ldquo;Principle? What Principle?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Merriwether, with the random argumentativeness of insanity,
- &ldquo;it <i>is</i> a great principle. Apply that principle to some high
- explosive, for instance, and you have no more battleship flare-backs&mdash;no
- premature mine blasts&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Say,&rdquo; the other suddenly interrupted, &ldquo;are you an inventor?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; lied Merriwether Buck, glibly, although he had never given five
- seconds' thought to the subject of high explosives in his life. &ldquo;That's
- how I know. I've invented an explosive more powerful than dynamite. But it
- won't explode by contact with fire, like powder. Won't explode with a jar,
- like dynamite. Won't freeze, like dynamite. Only one way to explode it&mdash;you've
- got to bring it into contact with a certain other chemical the same as
- scratching one of these matches on its own box.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The deuce, young man!&rdquo; said the other. &ldquo;There's a fortune in it! Is it on
- the market at all?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, raising his pistol hand slightly and
- thrusting it a bit forward, under the mask of his coat pocket, &ldquo;no money
- to start it going.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hum,&rdquo; mused the other. &ldquo;I tell you what you do, young man. You come along
- to lunch with me and we'll talk the thing over&mdash;money and all.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the directing deities of New York struck twice on all the city clocks,
- and striking, winked.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- IX.&mdash;The Professor's Awakening
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">H</span>ow I ever come to
- hit such a swell-looking house for a handout I never knew. Not that there
- was anything so gaudy about it, neither, as far as putting up a bluff at
- being a millionaire's mansion went, which I found out afterwards it was,
- or pretty near that at any rate. But it was just about the biggest house
- in that Illinois town, and it's mostly that kind o' place with them naked
- iron heathens in the front yard and a brick stable behind that it ain't no
- use to go up against unless you're looking for a lemon. If you need real
- food and need it sudden and ain't prospecting around town for no other
- kind of an opening you better make for the nearest public works like a
- canal being dug, or a railroad gang. Hit the little tin dinner buckets,
- men that does the unskilled labor on jobs like that, except Swedes and
- Dagos, knowing what it is to be up against it themselves now and then and
- not inclined to ask no fool questions.
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, I went around to the back door, and Biddy Malone she lets me in. I
- found out that was her name afterwards, but as soon as I seen her face I
- guessed if her name wasn't Bridget it was Nora. It's all in the first look
- they give you after they open the door. If that look's right they're
- coming across and you'll get some kind of a surprise for your digestive
- ornaments and you don't need to make no fool breaks about sawing wood
- neither. I makes my little talk and Biddy she says come in; and into the
- kitchen I went.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's Minnesota you're working towards,&rdquo; says Biddy, pouring me out a cup
- of coffee.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was thinking of the wheat harvest where there's thousands makes for
- every fall. But not for me, I never did like to work for none of them
- Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians that gets into the field before
- daylight and stays at it so long the hired men got to milk the cows by
- moonlight. They got no sense of proportion, them Gusses and Oles ain't.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I been across the river into I'way,&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;working at my trade, and
- I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And what may your trade be?&rdquo; says Biddy, sizing me up careful. I seen I
- made a hit somehow or she wouldn't of asked me in the first place was I
- going to the wheat harvest, but would of just supposed I was a hobo, which
- I ain't. I got a lot of trades when I want to use one, and as a regular
- thing I rather work at one of them for a while, too, but can't stand it
- very long on account of not feeling right to stay in one place too long,
- especially in the summer. When I seen I made a hit with Biddy I thinks
- I'll hand her a good one she never heard tell of before.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm an agnostic by trade,&rdquo; I says. I spotted that one in a Carnegie
- library one time and that was the first chance I ever had to spring it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see,&rdquo; says Biddy. And she opened her eyes and mouth to once. I seen she
- didn't see, but I didn't help her none. She would of rather killed herself
- than let on she didn't see. Most of the Irish is like that whether they is
- kitchen mechanics or what. After a while she says, pouring me out some
- more coffee and handing me a little glass jar full of watermelon rinds
- boiled in with molasses and things, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And ain't that the dangerous thing to work at, though!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is,&rdquo; I says, and says nothing further.
- </p>
- <p>
- She sets down and folds her arms like she was thinking about it, watching
- my hands all the time as if she was looking for scars where something
- slipped when I done that agnostic work. Finally she says with a sigh:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Sure, and it's dangerous! Me brother Patrick was kilt at it in the old
- country. He was the most vinturesome lad of thim all!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She was putting up a stiff front, and for a minute I don't know whether
- she's stringing me or I'm stringing her. The Irish is like that. So being
- through eating I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did it fly up and hit him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She looks at me scornful and tosses her chin up and says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No. He fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what one of them
- is, after!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What is it, then?&rdquo; says I.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Then you <i>don't</i> know,&rdquo; says she; and the next thing I knew I'd been
- eased out the back door and she was grinning at me through the crack of it
- with superiousness all over her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- So I was walking slow around towards the front thinking to myself how the
- Irish was a great people; and shall I go to Chicago and maybe get a job
- sailing on the lakes till navigation closes, or shall I go back to Omaha
- and work in the railroad yards again, which I don't like much, or shall I
- go on down to Saint Looey just to see what's doing. And then I thinks:
- &ldquo;Billy, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave you asleep
- with nothing over you but a barb wire fence this morning, and what are you
- going to do now? First thing you know you'll be a regular hobo, which some
- folks can't distinguish you ain't now.&rdquo; And then I thinks I'll go down to
- the river and take a swim and lazy around in the grass a while and think
- things over and maybe something will happen. Anyways, you can always join
- the army. And just when I was thinking that I got by one of them naked
- stone heathens that was squirting water out of a sea shell and a guy comes
- down the front steps on the jump and nabs me by the coat collar. I seen he
- was a doctor or else a piano tuner by the satchel he dropped when he
- grabbed me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did you come out of this house?&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; I says, wondering what next.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Back in you goes,&rdquo; he says, marching me towards the front steps. &ldquo;They've
- got smallpox in there.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I liked to a-jumped loose when he said that, but he twisted my coat collar
- and dug his thumbs into my neck and I seen they wasn't no use pulling
- back. If a guy that's knocking around mixes up with one of the solid
- citizens the magistrate's going to give him the worst of it on principle.
- I ain't no hobo and never was, and never traveled much with none of them
- professional bums, but there has been times I had hard work making some
- people believe it. I seen I couldn't jerk away and I seen I couldn't fight
- and so I went along. He rung the door bell, and I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, doc.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No?&rdquo; says he. And the door opened, and in we went. The girl that opened
- it, she drew back when she seen me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell Professor Booth that Dr. Wilkins wants to see him,&rdquo; says the doc,
- not letting loose of me.
- </p>
- <p>
- And we stood there saying nothing till the per-fessor come in, which he
- did slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he stopped and took off a pair
- of thick glasses that was split in two like a mended show case, so he
- could see me better, and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What is that you have there, Dr. Wilkins?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A guest for you,&rdquo; says Dr. Wilkins, grinning all over himself. &ldquo;I caught
- him leaving the house, and you being under quarantine and me being
- secretary to the board of health, I'll have to ask you to keep him here
- until we can get Miss Margery on her feet again,&rdquo; he says. Or they was
- words to that effect, as the lawyers asks you.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dear me,&rdquo; says Perfessor Booth, kind o' helplesslike.
- </p>
- <p>
- And he put his glasses on and took them off again, and come up close and
- looked at me like I was one of them amphimissourian specimens in a free
- museum. &ldquo;Dear me,&rdquo; he says, looking worrieder and worrieder all the time.
- And then he went to the foot of the stairs and pipes out in a voice that
- was so flat-chested and bleached-out it would a-looked just like him if
- you could a-saw it&mdash;&ldquo;Estelle,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;O Estelle!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I thinks the perfessor is one of them folks that can maybe do a lot of
- high-class thinking, but has got to have some one tell 'em what the answer
- is. But I doped him out wrong as I seen later on.
- </p>
- <p>
- Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big
- brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no
- spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her
- face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was a
- kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had hair
- down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was a girl
- or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me shiver,
- while the doctor and the per-fessor jaws about whose fault it is the
- smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening she
- says to the perfessor: &ldquo;You had better go back to your laboratory.&rdquo; And
- the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?&rdquo; the kid asks her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What would <i>you</i> suggest, William Dear?&rdquo; asks his aunt. I ain't
- feeling very comfortable, and I was getting all ready just to natcherally
- bolt out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't
- be no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the
- smallpox. Fur I had ricolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been
- vaccinated a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsory medical advice,
- me being temporary engaged in repair work on the city pavements through a
- mistake in the police court.
- </p>
- <p>
- William Dear looks at me when his aunt put it up to him just as solemn as
- if it was the day of judgment and his job was separating the fatted calves
- from the goats and the prodigals, and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you think, Aunt Estelle, we better cut his hair and bathe him and
- get him some clothes the first thing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;William is my friend,&rdquo; thinks I, and I seen right off he was one of them
- serious kids that you can't tell what is going on inside their heads.
- </p>
- <p>
- So she calls James, which was the butler, and James he buttled me into a
- bathroom the like of which I never see before; and he buttled me into a
- suit of somebody's clothes and into a room at the top of the house next to
- his'n, and then he come back and buttled a razor and a comb and brush at
- me; him being the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he
- informs me that me not being respectable I will eat alone in the kitchen
- after the servants is done. People has made them errors about me before.
- And I looks around the room and I thinks to myself that this is all right
- so far as it has went. But is these four walls, disregarding the rest of
- the house, to be my home, and them only? Not, thinks I, if little Billy
- knows it. It was not me that invited myself to become the guest of this
- family; and if I got to be a guest I be damned if I don't be one according
- to Hoyle's rules of etiquette or I'll quit the job. Will I stay in this
- one room? Not me. Suppose the perfessor takes it next? And then William
- Dear? And suppose when William Dear gets through with it he gives it to
- Aunt Estelle? Am I to waste the golden hours when, maybe, my country needs
- me, just for accommodation? But I thinks it's all right for a day or two
- and then I'll leave my regrets and go on down to Saint Looey or
- somewheres. And then James he buttles back into the room like a funeral
- procession and says the perfessor says he wants to see me in the
- laboratory.
- </p>
- <p>
- That was a big room and the darndest looking room I ever see, and it smelt
- strong enough to chase a Hungarian pig sticker out of a Chicago slaughter
- house. It smelt like a drug store had died of old age and got buried in a
- glue factory. I never seen so much scientific effusions and the things to
- hold 'em in mixed up in one place before. They must of been several brands
- of science being mixed up there all to once. They was dinky little stoves,
- they was glass jars of all shapes and sizes labeled with Dago names
- standing around on shelves like in one of them Dutch delicatessen stores;
- they was straight glass tubes and they was glass tubes that had the spinal
- contortions; they was bones and they was whole skeletons, and they was
- things that looked like whisky stills; they was a bookcase full of bugs
- and butterflies against one wall; they was chunks of things that might
- have been human for all I know floating around in vats like pickled pork
- in a barrel; they was beer schooners with twisted spouts to them; they was
- microscopes and telescopes and twenty-seven shapes and sizes of knives;
- they was crates of stuff that was unpacked and crates that wasn't; and
- they was tables with things just piled and spilled over 'em, every which
- way, and the looks of everything was dirty on account of the perfessor not
- allowing any one in there but himself and Miss Estelle and William. And
- whether you knowed anything about them different brands of science or not
- you could see the perfessor was one of them nuts that's always starting to
- do things and then leaving them go and starting something else. It looked
- as if the operating room of an emergency hospital and a blacksmith shop
- and a people's free museum and a side show full of freaks, snakes and
- oneeyed calves had all gone out and got drunk together, all four of them,
- and wandered into a cremation plant to sleep off that souse; and when they
- woke up they couldn't tell which was which nor nothing else except they
- had a bad taste in their mouth and was sentenced to stay there unseparated
- and unhappy and unsociable in each other's company for evermore. And every
- time you turned around you stepped on something new, and if you saw a rat
- or a lizard or a spider you better let him alone for how was you going to
- tell he was dead or alive till he crawled up you?
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor, he was setting over by a window, and he pushed out another
- chair for me and he says sit down.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are a gentleman of leisure?&rdquo; he says, with a grin; or words to that
- effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I work at that sometimes,&rdquo; I told him, &ldquo;although it ain't rightly my
- trade.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Biddy Malone says you're an agnostic,&rdquo; he says, looking at me close. It
- won't do, I thinks, to spring none of them agnostic gags on him, so I says
- nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm one myself,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Regular,&rdquo; I asks him, &ldquo;or just occasional?&rdquo; He kind o' grins again, and I
- thinks: &ldquo;Billy, you're making a hit somehow.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he says, like he was apologizing to someone about something: &ldquo;Being
- interested in sociology and the lower classes in general, I sent for you
- to get some first-hand observations on your train of mind,&rdquo; he says. Or it
- was words like them. &ldquo;I'm a sociologist,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- I seen I made a hit before and I thinks I'll push my luck, so I swells up
- and says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm a kind of sociologist myself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hum,&rdquo; he says, thoughtful-like. &ldquo;Indeed? And your itinerant mode of
- subsistence is persecuted in pursuit of your desire to study knowledge of
- the human specimen and to observe wisdom as to the ways they live in the
- underworld,&rdquo; he says. Or it was words to that effect. I wish I'd a-had him
- wrote them words down. Then I'd a-had 'em just right now. I seen a bunch
- of good words help a man out of a hole before this. Words has always been
- more or less my admiration; you can never tell what one of them long
- gazaboos is going to do till you spring it on somebody. So I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's me, perfessor. I likes to float around and see what's doing.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he tells me that sociology was how the criminal classes and the lower
- classes in general was regarded by the scientific classes, only it's a
- difficult brand of science to get next to, he says, on account of the
- lower classes like me being mostly broke out with environment he says,
- unbeknownst even to theirselves. He's not what you would call a practicing
- sociologist all the time, being afraid, I suppose, he would catch it if he
- got too close to it; he's just one of the boys that writes about it, so as
- both the lower classes and the scientific classes won't make no bad
- breaks, he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- But what he wants of me just now ain't got nothing to do with that, he
- says. He's been making experiments with all kinds of canned victuals, that
- is put up with acid that eats holes in your stomach, he says, and so long
- as I'm going to be a guest he's going to mix some of them acids in my
- chuck and weigh me after each meal. He says I'll start slow and easy and
- there won't be nothing dangerous about it. He's been practicing on William
- Dear and Miss Estelle, which I suppose it was the acids got into her
- smile, but he's going to give them a rest, them being naturally delicate.
- I ain't got no kick, I thinks, and I'm going to leave this place in a day
- or two anyhow. Besides, I always was intrusted in scientific things and
- games of chance of all kinds.
- </p>
- <p>
- But I didn't leave in a few days, and the first thing I knew I'd been
- there a week. I had pretty much the run of the house, and I eat my meals
- with Biddy Malone, the only uncomfortable feature of being a guest being
- that Miss Estelle, soon as she found out I was an agnostic (whatever brand
- of science that is, which I never found out to this day, just having come
- across the word accidental), she begun to take charge of my religion and
- intellectuals and things like that. She used to try to cure the perfessor,
- too, but she had to give it up for a bad job, Biddy says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Biddy, she says Mrs. Booth's been over to her mother's while this smallpox
- has been going on; which I hadn't knowed they was a Mrs. Booth before. And
- Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, too. They's been a
- lot of talk, anyhow, Biddy says, about Mrs. Booth and some musician fellow
- around town. But Biddy she likes Mrs. Booth, and even if it was so who
- could blame her?
- </p>
- <p>
- Things ain't right around that house since Miss Estelle's been there,
- which the perfessor's science, though worrying to the nerves, ain't cut
- much ice till about four years ago when Miss Estelle come.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Mrs. Booth she's getting where she can't stand it much longer, Biddy
- says. I didn't blame her none for feeling sore about things.
- </p>
- <p>
- You can't expect a woman that's pretty and knows it, and ain't more'n
- thirty-two or three years old, and don't look it, to be interested in
- mummies and pickled snakes and the preservation of the criminal classes
- and chemical profusions, not <i>all</i> the time. And maybe when she'd ask
- the perfessor if he wasn't going to take her to the opera he'd ask her did
- she know them Germans had invented a newfangled disease or that it was a
- mistake about them Austrians hiding their heads in the sand when they are
- scared, which any fool that's ever seen 'em working around a coal mine
- ought to of knowed. It wouldn't a-been so bad if the perfessor had just
- picked out one brand of science and stuck to it. She could a-got used to
- any one kind and knowed what to expect. But maybe this week the
- perfessor's bug would be ornithography, and he'd be chasing sparrows all
- over the front lawn; and next week it would be geneology and he'd be
- trying to grow bananas on a potato vine. Then, he'd get worried about the
- nigger problem in the south, and settle it all up scientific and explain
- how ethnology done the whole damn thing, lynchings and all, and it never
- could be straightened out till it was done scientific. Every new gag that
- come out the perfessor took up with it, Biddy says; one time he'd be
- fussing around with gastronomy through a telescope and the next he'd be
- putting astrology into William's breakfast food.
- </p>
- <p>
- They was a row on all the time about the kids, which they hadn't been till
- Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth she said they could kill their own selves if
- they wanted to, but she had more right than anybody to say what went into
- William's digestive ornaments, and she didn't want him brought up
- scientific nohow, but just human. He was always making notes on William,
- which was how William come to take so little interest in life after a
- while. But Miss Estelle, she egged him on. She seen he didn't have no
- sense about his money, which had been left to him when he was a sure
- enough perfessor in a college before he quit and went nuts and everything
- begun to go wrong between him and Mrs. Booth, so Miss Estelle she took to
- running his money herself; but she seen likewise that when it come to
- writing articles about William's insides and intellectuals the perfessor
- he was a genius. Well, maybe he was; but Biddy wouldn't let him try none
- of them laboratory gags on her though she just as soon be hypnotized and
- telepathed as not just to humor him. Miss Estelle, she eat what the
- perfessor give her, and after a while she says she'll take charge of the
- children's education herself, their mother being a frivolous young thing,
- and it was too bad, she says, a genius like him couldn't a-mar-ried a
- noble woman who would a-understood his great work for humanity and
- sympathized with it. So while the perfessor filled William and Miss
- Margery up on new discovered food and weighed 'em and probed 'em and
- sterilized 'em and did everything else but put 'em in glass bottles, Miss
- Estelle she laid out courses of reading matter for them and tended to
- their religion and intellectuals and things like that. I reckon they never
- was two kids more completely educated, inside and out. It hadn't worked
- much on Miss Margery yet, her being younger than William. But William took
- it hard and serious, being more like his father's family, and it made
- bumps all over his head. I reckon by the time William was ten years old he
- knew more than a whole high school, and every time that boy cut his finger
- he just naturally bled science. But somehow he wasn't very chipper, and
- whenever the perfessor would notice that he and Miss Estelle would change
- treatment. But Biddy liked William just the same, they hadn't spoiled his
- disposition none; and she said he seen a lot of things his aunt never
- would a-seen, William did. One day when I first was a guest I says to his
- aunt, I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Miss Booth, William looks kind o' pale to me like he was getting too much
- bringin' up to the square inch.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She acted like she didn't care for no outsiders butting in, but I seen
- she'd noticed it, too, and she liked William, too, in a kind of scientific
- sort of a way, and she says in a minute:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What do you suggest?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; says I, &ldquo;what a kid like that needs is to roll around and play in
- the dirt now and then, and yell and holler.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She went away like she was kind o' mad about it; but about an hour later
- the perfessor sent word for me to come down to the labaratory, and Miss
- Estelle was there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We have decided that there is something in what you say,&rdquo; says the
- perfessor. &ldquo;Even the crudest and most untrained intellectuals has now and
- then a bright hunch from which us men of special knowledge may take a
- suggestion,&rdquo; he says, or words to that effect. And they was a whole lot
- more, and they was more scientific than that. I didn't know I'd done
- nothing important like that, but when he told me all about it in science
- talk I seen I made a ten strike, though I should of thought anyone could
- of saw all William needed was just to be allowed to be a little more
- human.
- </p>
- <p>
- But what do you think&mdash;I never was so jarred in my life as I was the
- next day. I seen Miss Estelle spreading an oilcloth on the floor, and then
- the butler come in and poured a lot of nice, clean, sterilized dirt on to
- it. And then she sent for William.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;William Dear,&rdquo; she says, &ldquo;we have decided that what you need is more
- recreation mixed in along with your intellectuals. You ought to romp and
- play in the dirt, close to the soil and nature, as is right for a youth of
- your age. For an hour each day right after you study your biology and
- before you take up your Euclid you will romp and play in this dirt like a
- child of nature, and frolic. You may now begin to frolic, William, and
- James will gather up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic.&rdquo; Or it was
- words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- But William didn't frolic none. He seen things they didn't. He just looked
- at that dirt, and he come the nearest to smiling I ever seen William come;
- and then he come the nearest to getting mad I ever seen William come. And
- then he says very serious:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Aunt Estelle,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;I shall <i>not</i> frolic. I have come to that
- place in my discretions where my intellectuals got to work some for
- theirselves. It is them intellectuals which you have trained that refuses
- to be made ridiculous one hour each day between the biology lesson and the
- Euclid lesson with sand.&rdquo; Those was not William's exact words, which he
- always had down as slick as his pa, but they was what he meant. William
- was a serious kid, but he seen things his aunt never had no idea of. And
- he never did frolic, neither, and all that nice clean dirt had to be
- throwed out by the stable amongst the unscientific dirt again.
- </p>
- <p>
- That was before Biddy Malone told me about why it was that the perfessor
- and his wife didn't get along well, and as I was saying I didn't blame her
- none, Miss Estelle having finally beat her out about her own children,
- too; and she feeling she didn't scarcely own 'em no more, and they hardly
- daring to kiss their own mamma with Miss Estelle in the room because of
- germs, so Biddy says. Biddy, she says the perfessor is all right, he's
- just a fool and don't mean no harm by his scientific gags, but Miss
- Estelle she's a she-devil and takes that way to make herself the boss of
- that house. If she wasn't there Mrs. Booth would have been boss and never
- let the perfessor know it and things wouldn't a-been so bad. Which shows
- that so long as every house got to have a boss it ain't so much difference
- if it's a him or her so long as it ain't a relation.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor always eats his dinner in one of them coats with the
- open-face vest to it, and one night I thinks I will, too. When you is in
- Rome you does like the Dagos does, I thinks.
- </p>
- <p>
- So I sends for James along before dinner time and I says: &ldquo;Where is my
- dinky clothes to eat dinner in?&rdquo; I says.
- </p>
- <p>
- James he says I'm to continue to eat dinner by myself. Which is all right,
- I tells him, but I'll do it in style or I'll quit the job. So he goes and
- asks Miss Estelle, and she comes in with that lemon grin on, but looking,
- too, like I done something to please her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is it true,&rdquo; she says, &ldquo;that already the effects of a refined environment
- has overcome defections in early training and a misfortune in ancestral
- hereditary?&rdquo; she says. Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is true,&rdquo; I says. And the perfessor's being too small she made James
- give me his'n. But when I seen all that shirt front it made me feel kind
- of uncomfortable, too. So I takes them off again and puts on my old
- striped sweater and puts on the vest and coat over that, and the effect of
- them red stripes running crossways is something gorgeous with one of them
- open-face vests over it.
- </p>
- <p>
- So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
- perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
- got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves, and
- most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got hold
- of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest book! It
- was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in real talk
- down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what it was
- about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's never
- been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been going
- against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there ain't
- nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli stories I
- read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart movie or a
- Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man of that
- story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross circling
- around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It wasn't for
- nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on everybody gets
- as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands when another savings
- bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him. And the snakes wiggles
- all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one time when they cleaned
- out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns gets its drinking water
- from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die and can't make it; and their
- ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and they go by him in the
- moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a frosty morning out of an
- engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to that story, too. I bet the
- fellow that doped that out had been on an awful bat. I like to of talked
- with that nut. They was a fellow named Looney Hogan use to have them
- phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what he saw after he had 'em. Looney
- was awful good company and I use to like to hear him tell what he seen and
- what he thinks he seen, but he walked off of a grain barge up to Duluth
- when he was asleep one night and he never did wake up.
- </p>
- <p>
- Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
- ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the nuts
- that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two guys
- can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has seen
- different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long time
- there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I wakes up
- sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room that opens
- right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors like is on to
- a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's, and she says
- like she was choked up:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>must</i> see them before we go, Henry.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But, my God!&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;suppose you catch it yourself, Jane!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I set up straight then, and I would of give a good deal to see through
- that door, because Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You mean suppose <i>you</i> get it,&rdquo; she says. I like to of seen the look
- she must of give him to fit in with the way she says that <i>you</i>. He
- didn't say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some,
- and she says, low and slow: &ldquo;Henry, wouldn't you love me if I <i>did</i>
- get it? Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, of course,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;of course I would. Nothing can change the way I
- feel. <i>You</i> know that.&rdquo; He said it quick enough, all right, just the
- way they do in a show, but it sounded <i>too much</i> like it does on the
- stage to of suited me if <i>I'd</i> been her. I seen folks overdo them
- little talks before this.
- </p>
- <p>
- I listens some more, and then I see how it is. This is that musician
- feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with him
- all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. They
- may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em don't
- like the kids. I thinks to myself: &ldquo;It must be late. I bet they was
- already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here first
- so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She just simply couldn't get by.
- But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see Margery with
- that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? And even if she
- tries just to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot he'll wake up and
- she'll be ketched at it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I thinks, suppose she <i>is</i> ketched at it? What of it? Ain't
- a woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even
- if they is a quarantine on to it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched
- seeing them, how would anyone know she was going to run off? And ain't she
- got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her over from
- her mother's house, even if it is a little late?
- </p>
- <p>
- Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby I
- better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated me
- purty white. And then I thinks: &ldquo;I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. So fur
- as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's coming to
- him, nohow. And as fur <i>her</i>, you got to let some people find out
- what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do <i>I</i> come in at?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my
- shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors,
- and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward and
- forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and her
- undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's kind o'
- hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, and she's
- begging off fur more time ginerally.
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She
- was a peach.
- </p>
- <p>
- And I couldn't blame her so much, either, when I thought of Miss Estelle
- and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and years
- world without end.
- </p>
- <p>
- Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right off
- that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to keep a
- woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married to her.
- But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right when they
- ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, pointed beards
- fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too much like a woman's.
- Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of pie at the lunch counter
- and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. She was setting in front of
- a table, twisting her fingers together, and he was walking up and down. I
- seen he was mad and trying not to show it, and I seen he was scared of the
- smallpox and trying not to show that, too. And just about that time
- something happened that kind o' jolted me.
- </p>
- <p>
- They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got a
- high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on the
- other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which was a
- bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. First I
- thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and Henry
- didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the room,
- with their back to it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair does.
- Will she squeak, I wonders?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you be a fool, Jane,&rdquo; says the Henry feller.
- </p>
- <p>
- Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A fool?&rdquo; asks Jane, and laughs. &ldquo;And I'm not a fool to think of going
- with you at all, then?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and
- part of a crumpled-up coat tail.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>am</i> going with you, Henry,&rdquo; says Jane. And she gets up just
- like she is going to put her arms around him.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the
- perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes like
- he's just woke up recent, and he's got a grin on to his face that makes
- him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Excuse me,&rdquo; says the perfessor.
- </p>
- <p>
- They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane
- never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But if
- they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and having a
- fit. They looks at him and he just sets there and grins at them.
- </p>
- <p>
- But after a while Jane, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, now you <i>know!</i> What are you going to do about it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he starts to say something, too. But&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't start anything,&rdquo; says the perfessor to him. &ldquo;<i>You</i> aren't
- going to do anything.&rdquo; Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Professor Booth,&rdquo; he says, seeing he has got to say something or else
- Jane will think the worse of him, &ldquo;I am&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shut up,&rdquo; says the perfessor, real quiet. &ldquo;I'll tend to you in a minute
- or two. <i>You</i> don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me
- and my wife.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something
- into him beside science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised
- herself. But she says nothing, except:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What are you going to do, Frederick?&rdquo; And she laughs one of them mean
- kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a
- little more, and says: &ldquo;What <i>can</i> you do, Frederick?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Frederick, he says, not excited a bit:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's quite a number of things I <i>could</i> do that would look bad
- when they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of
- you forces it on to me.&rdquo; Then he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You <i>did</i> want to see the children, Jane?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She nodded.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;can't you see I'm the better man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and he
- didn't want to see her go. &ldquo;Look at him,&rdquo; he says, pointing to the feller
- with the brown beard, &ldquo;he's scared stiff right now.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way like
- Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping ice
- every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no blood on
- the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making up his mind
- about something, too. Jane, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>You</i> a better man? <i>You?</i> You think you've been a model
- husband just because you've never beaten me, don't you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been a
- worse fool, maybe, than if I <i>had</i> beaten you.&rdquo; Then he turns to
- Henry and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in
- the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me.&rdquo; With which he gets up
- and trots out, and I heard him running down stairs to his labertory.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane a-looking
- at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some kind of a
- strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't do it. And
- Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects it. And me, I'm
- getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, &ldquo;What is that there perfessor
- up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one else. He is looney, that
- perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I wonder if they is anyone
- that ain't looney sometimes? I been around the country a good 'eal, too,
- and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable things, and I never seen no
- one that wasn't more or less looney when the <i>search us the femm</i>
- comes into the case. Which is a Dago word I got out'n a newspaper and it
- means: Who was the dead gent's lady friend?' And we all set and sweat and
- got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor to come back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin on to his face and a pill box
- in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly:
- &ldquo;Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the
- same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth
- fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em
- myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to
- working well&mdash;which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The
- other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep
- her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long enough
- after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of it.
- When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek on
- the inside like a piece of sandpaper. He was scared, Henry was.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But <i>you</i> know which is which,&rdquo; Jane sings out. &ldquo;The thing's not
- fair!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around
- each other herself,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;and then pick out one for him
- and one for me. <i>You</i> don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is
- the favorite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I
- want him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking
- it. In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house
- that he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal
- without I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and
- respectable. The effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one
- can tell the difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood
- anywhere. I will be found dead in my house in the morning with heart
- failure, or else he will be picked up dead in the street, far enough away
- so as to make no talk.&rdquo; Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder if
- I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: &ldquo;No, it's between
- them three.&rdquo; Beside, I want to see which one is going to get that there
- loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chance of all kinds, and
- when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I been misjudging
- him all this time.
- </p>
- <p>
- Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I won't touch 'em,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I refuse to be a party to any murder of
- that kind.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh? You do?&rdquo; says the perfessor. &ldquo;But the time when you might have
- refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. You're
- really the <i>main</i> party to it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But do as you like,&rdquo; he goes on. &ldquo;I'm giving him more chance than I ought
- to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face the
- music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. If
- you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out these
- pills, one to him and then one to me. <i>You</i> must kill one or the
- other of us, or else <i>I'll</i> kill <i>him</i> the other way. And <i>you</i>
- had better pick one out for him, because <i>I</i> know which is which. Or
- else let him pick one out for himself,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he hadn't.
- I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry inside.
- </p>
- <p>
- Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she looked
- at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: &ldquo;Fur God's sake,
- spunk up some, and take one if it <i>does</i> kill you!&rdquo; Then she says out
- loud: &ldquo;Henry, if you die I will die, too!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If
- she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur
- Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or
- not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. What
- she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: &ldquo;Mebby I better jump in now
- and stop this thing.&rdquo; And then I thinks agin: &ldquo;No, it is between them
- three and Providence.&rdquo; Beside, I'm anxious to see who is going to get that
- pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling just like Providence
- hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with his own hands.
- And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right and wrong was
- like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, but if I had
- of been in there running them pills in Providence's place I would of let
- them all off kind o' easy.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is just looking at it and shaking.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor reaches for his watch, and don't find none. Then he reaches
- over and takes Henry's watch, and opens it, and lays it on the table. &ldquo;A
- quarter past one,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;Mr. Murray, are you going to make me shoot
- you after all? I didn't want any blood nor any scandal,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;It's up
- to you,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;whether you want to take that pill and get your even
- chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting way is sure, but
- looks bad in the papers. The pill way don't implicate any one,&rdquo; he says.
- &ldquo;Which?&rdquo; And he pulls a gun.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry he looks at the gun.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he looks at the pill.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he swallows the pill.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor puts his'n into his mouth. But he don't swallow it. He looks
- at the watch, and he looks at Henry. &ldquo;Sixteen minutes past one,&rdquo; he says.
- &ldquo;<i>Mr. Murray will be dead at exactly fourteen minutes to two</i>. I got
- the harmless one. I can tell by the taste of the chemicals.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he put the pieces out into his hand to show that he chewed his'n up,
- not being willing to wait fifteen minutes for a verdict from his digestive
- ornaments. Then he put 'em back into his mouth and chewed 'em and
- swallowed 'em down like it was coughdrops.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make
- fur the door, but he falls down on to a sofa.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This is murder,&rdquo; he says, weaklike. And he tries to get up agin, but this
- time he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's a dern short fifteen minutes,&rdquo; I thinks to myself. &ldquo;That perfessor
- must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it
- to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top of
- him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was turned
- up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she just gurgles in
- her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He ketches her.
- &ldquo;Sit up, Jane,&rdquo; he says, with that Estelle look on to his face, &ldquo;and let
- us have a talk.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty has
- got. But she can't look away from him.
- </p>
- <p>
- And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor had
- only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of loosened
- up and yelled, and I would of. I just <i>needed</i> to fetch a yell. But
- Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling just like he'd <i>always</i>
- been there, and I'd <i>always</i> been staring into that room, and the
- last word anyone spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're a murderer,&rdquo; says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in
- that stare-eyed way. &ldquo;You're a <i>murderer,</i>&rdquo; she says, saying it like
- she was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murder!&rdquo; says the perfessor. &ldquo;Did you think I was going to run any
- chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted
- through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and sugar.
- He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing you that the
- fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine woman like
- you, Jane,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wildlike, her
- voice clucking like a hen does, and she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a murder!
- Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was,&rdquo; she says. Or
- they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder
- than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but just wasn't
- no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry.
- Women is made unlike most other animals in many ways. When they is foolish
- about a man they can stand to have that man killed a good 'eal better than
- to have him showed up ridiculous right in front of them. They will still
- be crazy about the man that's killed, but they don't never forgive the
- lobster. I seen that work out before this. You can be most any thing else
- and get away with it, but if you're a lobster it's all off even if you
- can't help being a lobster. And when the perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs
- and he comes to and sneaks out, Jane she never even looks at him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, &ldquo;you got a lot to
- forgive me. But do you s'pose I learned enough sense so we can make a go
- of it if we start over again?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But Jane never said nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;Estelle is going back to New England to stay there for
- good.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She begins to take a little interest then. &ldquo;Did Estelle tell you so?&rdquo; she
- says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;Estelle don't know it yet. But she is. I'm
- going to tell her in the mornin'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But she still hates him. She's making herself. She wouldn't of been a
- female woman if she'd of been coaxed that easy. Pretty soon she says, &ldquo;I'm
- going upstairs and go to bed. I'm tired.&rdquo; And she went out looking like
- the perfessor was a perfect stranger.
- </p>
- <p>
- After she left the perfessor set there quite a while and he was looking
- tired out, too; and there wasn't no mistake about me. I was asleep all
- through my legs, and I kept a wondering to myself, suppose them pills had
- one of them been loaded sure enough, which one would of got it? And when
- the perfessor leaves I says to myself, I reckon I better light a rag. So I
- goes to the front window and opens it easy; but I thinks about Henry's
- watch on the table, every one else having forgot it, and I thinks I better
- hunt him up and give it to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I thinks why should I give him pain, for that watch will always
- remind him of an unpleasant time he once had.
- </p>
- <p>
- And if it hadn't been for me sitting in that window looking at that watch
- I wouldn't a-been writing this, for I wouldn't of been in jail now.
- </p>
- <p>
- I tried to explain my intentions was all right, but the police says it
- ain't natural to be seen coming out of a front window at two in the
- morning in a striped sweater and a dinky dinner suit with a gold watch in
- your hand; if you are hunting the owner you are doing it peculiar.
- </p>
- <p>
- One of them reporters he says to me to write the truth about how I got
- into jail; nobody else never done it and stuck to facts. But this is the
- truth so help me; it was all on account of that watch, which my intentions
- with regard to was perfectly honorable, and all that goes before leads up
- to that watch. There wasn't no larceny about it; it was just another
- mistake on the part of the police. If I'd of been stealing wouldn't I
- stole the silverware a week before that?
- </p>
- <p>
- The more I travel around the more dumb people I see that can't understand
- how an honest and upright citizen can get into circumstantial evidence and
- still be a honest and upright citizen.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- X.&mdash;The Penitent
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">Y</span>ou, who are not
- married,&rdquo; said the penitent, &ldquo;cannot know&mdash;can never realize&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He hesitated, his glance wandering over the evidences of luxury, the hints
- of Oriental artistry, the esthetic effectiveness of Dr. Eustace Beaulieu's
- studio.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Proceed,&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu, suavely. &ldquo;What I may know is not the
- important thing. You do not address yourself to me, but through me to that
- principle of Harmony in the Cosmos which is Spirit&mdash;Ultimate Spirit&mdash;which
- we call God. All that I can do is assist you to get into Accord with the
- Infinite again, help you to vibrate in unison with the Cosmic All.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are right; I do not look to you,&rdquo; said the penitent, &ldquo;for ease of
- mind or spirit.&rdquo; And a fleeting half-smile showed in his eyes, as if some
- ulterior thought gave a certain gusto to the manner in which he stressed
- the pronoun <i>you</i>. But the rest of his scarred and twisted face was
- expressionless, beneath the thick mask of a heavy gray-streaked beard that
- grew almost to his eyes.
- </p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
- * Author's Note: &ldquo;The Penitent&rdquo; was suggested by two poems,
- &ldquo;A Forgiveness,&rdquo; by Browning, and &ldquo;The Portrait,&rdquo; by Owen
- Meredith.
-</pre>
- <p>
- Dr. Eustace Beaulieu was the leader&mdash;nay, the founder&mdash;of one of
- the many, many cults that have sprung up in New York City and elsewhere in
- America during the past three or four decades. An extraordinary number of
- idle, well-to-do women gathered at his studio two or three times a week,
- and listened to his expositions of ethics <i>de luxe</i>, served with just
- the proper dash of Oriental mysticism and European pseudoscience. He was
- forty, he was handsome, with magnetic brown eyes and the long sensitive
- fingers of a musician; he was eloquent, he was persuasive, he was
- prosperous.
- </p>
- <p>
- When he talked of the Zend-Avesta, when he spoke of the Vedantic writings,
- when he touched upon the Shinto worship of the Nipponese, when he
- descanted upon the likeness of the Christian teachings to the tenets of
- Buddhism, when he revealed the secrets of the Yogi philosophy, when he
- hinted his knowledge of the priestly craft of older Egypt and of later
- Eleusis, his feminine followers thrilled in their seats as a garden of
- flowers that is breathed upon by a Summer wind&mdash;they vibrated to his
- words and his manner and his restrained fervor with a faint rustling of
- silken garments and a delicate fragrance of perfume.
- </p>
- <p>
- Men were not, as a rule, so enthusiastic concerning Dr. Eustace Beaulieu
- and his cult; there were few of them at his lectures, there were few of
- them enrolled in the classes where he inducted his followers into the more
- subtle phases of ethics, where he led them to the higher planes of
- occultism, for a monetary consideration; few of them submitted themselves
- to him for the psychic healing that was one of his major claims to fame.
- And this scarred and bearded stranger, who limped, was one of the very few
- men who had ever intimated a desire to bare his soul to Dr. Beaulieu, to
- tell his story and receive spiritual ministration, in the manner of the
- confessional. These confessionals, after the public lectures, had been
- recently introduced by Dr. Beaulieu, and they were giving him, he felt, a
- firmer grip upon his flock&mdash;his disciples, he did not hesitate to
- call them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I repeat,&rdquo; said the penitent&mdash;if he was a repentant man, indeed&mdash;&ldquo;no
- bachelor can know what love really is. He cannot conceive of what the
- daily habit of association with a woman who seems made for him, and for
- him alone, may mean to a man. My love for my wife was almost worship. She
- was my wife indeed, I told myself, and she it was for whom I worked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For I did work, worked well and unselfishly. Every man must have some
- work. Some do it from necessity, but I did it because I loved the work&mdash;and
- the woman&mdash;and thus I gained a double reward. I was a politician, and
- something more. I think I may say that I was a patriot, too. The inheritor
- of wealth and position, I undertook to clear the city in which I lived,
- and which my forefathers had helped to build, of the ring of grafters who
- were making the name of the town a byword throughout the nation. The
- details of that long and hard strife are not pertinent. I fought with
- something more than boldness and determination; I fought with a joy in
- every struggle, because I fought for something more than the world knew.
- The world could not see that my inspiration was in my home; that in the
- hours of battle my blood sang joyously with the thought of&mdash;her! Was
- it any wonder that I worked well?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day, as I sat in my office downtown, the thought of her drew me so
- strongly that I determined to surprise her by coming home unexpectedly
- early. It was summer, and we were living in our country home, an
- old-fashioned stone residence a couple of miles from the outskirts of the
- city. The house was situated at the edge of a park that was, indeed,
- almost virgin forest, for the whole estate had been in my family for
- nearly a hundred years.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I determined to surprise my wife, and at the same time to take the rare
- relaxation of a suburban walk. I was soon outside the city limits, and
- through the zone where vacant lots broaden into fields; and then I left
- the road, cutting across the fields and finally plunging into the woods on
- my own place. Thus it was that I approached the house from the rear and
- came suddenly out of the timber into my own orchard. I seldom walked from
- town, and it was a good long hour before my usual time of arrival,
- although in that sheltered and woody place the dusk was already gathering
- in.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;As I entered the orchard a man made a hurried exit from a vine-wreathed
- pergola where my wife often sat to read, cast one look at me, cleared the
- orchard fence, and made off through the woods, disappearing at once among
- the boles of the trees.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He had not turned his full face toward me at any time, but had shielded
- it with an upflung arm; from the moment he broke cover until his
- disappearance there had passed less time than it takes to tell it, and I
- was scarcely to be blamed if I was left guessing as to his identity, for
- the moment. For the moment, I say.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There had been so much fright in his manner that I stood and looked after
- him. The thought came to me that perhaps here was a man who had had an
- affair with one of my servants. I turned toward the pergola and met&mdash;my
- wife!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;She was a beautiful woman, always more beautiful in her moments of
- excitement. She confronted me now with a manner which I could not help but
- admire. I trusted her so that she might readily have passed off a much
- more anomalous situation with an easy explanation. But in her face I read
- a deliberate wish to make me feel the truth.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I looked at her long, and she returned the gaze unflinchingly. And I
- recognized her look for what it was. She had cast off the chains of
- deceit. Her glance was a sword of hatred, and the first open thrust of the
- blade was an intense pleasure to her. We both knew all without a word.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I might have killed her then. But I did not. I turned and walked toward
- the house; she followed me, and I opened the door; she preceded me inside.
- She paused again, as if gathering all her forces for a struggle; but I
- passed her in silence, and went upstairs to my own room.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then began a strange period in my life. Shortly after this episode
- came a partial triumph of the reform element in my city; the grafters were
- ousted, and I found myself with more than a local reputation, and thrust
- into an office. My life was now even more of a public matter than before.
- We entertained largely. We were always in the public eye. Before our
- guests and in public we were always all that should be. But when the
- occasion was past, we would drop the mask, turn from each other with dumb
- faces, and go each our severed ways.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For a year this sort of life kept up. I still worked; but now I worked to
- forget. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, it was always as of
- some one who was dead. Or so I told myself, over and over again, until I
- believed it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day there was a close election. I was the successful candidate. I was
- to go to Congress. All evening and far into the night my wife and I played
- our parts well. But when the last congratulation had been received, and
- the last speech made, and the last friend had gone, and we were alone with
- each other once more, she turned to me with a look something like the one
- she had met me with on that summer evening a year before.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I want to speak with you,' she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;They were the first words we had exchanged in that year, when not
- compelled by the necessities.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What do you wish to speak about?' I asked her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You know,' she said, briefly. And I did know. There was little use
- trying to deny it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Why have you asked me no questions?' she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I would have made another attempt to pass the situation over without
- going into it, but I saw that that would be impossible. She had reached
- the place where she must speak. I read all this in her face. And looking
- at her closely with the first candid glance I had given her in that year,
- I saw that she had changed greatly, but she was still beautiful.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I did not choose to open the subject with you,' I said; 'I thought that
- you would explain when you could stand it no longer. Evidently that time
- has come. You were to me like a dead person. If the dead have any messages
- for me, they must bring them to me unsolicited. It was not my place to
- hunt among the tombs.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No,' she said, 'let us be honest, since it is the last talk we may ever
- have together. Let us be frank with each other, and with ourselves. I was
- not like a dead person to you. The dead are dead, and I am not. You asked
- me no questions because you disdained me so. You despised me so&mdash;and
- it was sweet to you to make me feel the full weight of your scorn through
- this silence. It was better than killing me. Is that not the real reason?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I admitted, 'that is it. That is the truth.' &ldquo;'Listen,' she said,
- 'it would surprise you&mdash;would it not&mdash;to learn that I still love
- you&mdash;that I have loved you all along&mdash;that you are the only man
- I have ever really loved&mdash;that I love you now? All that is incredible
- to you, is it not?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I said, 'it is. You must pardon me, but&mdash;it is incredible to
- me.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well, it is true,' she said, and paused a moment. 'And I can tell you
- why it is true, and why&mdash;why&mdash;the&mdash;the other was true, too.
- You&mdash;you do not understand women,' she said. 'Sometimes I think if
- you were a smaller man, in some ways, you would understand them better.
- Sometimes I think that you are too&mdash;too big, somehow&mdash;ever to
- make a woman happy. Not too self-centered; you are not consciously
- selfish; you never mean to be. But you give, give, give the riches of your
- nature to people&mdash;to the world at large&mdash;instead of to those who
- should share them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Oh, I know&mdash;the fault is all mine! Another kind of woman&mdash;the
- right kind for you&mdash;the kind you thought I was&mdash;would not have
- asked for all that was a necessity for me; would have been big enough to
- have done without it; would have lost herself in your love for all
- humanity. That is the kind of woman you thought I was. And I tried to be.
- But I wasn't. I wasn't that big.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I did sympathize with your work; I could understand it; I loved to hear
- you tell about it. But I loved it because it was you that told me about
- it. You didn't see that! You thought I was a goddess. It was enough for
- your nature to worship me; to set me upon a pedestal and to call me your
- inspiration; oh, you treated me well&mdash;you were faithful to me&mdash;you
- were generous! But you neglected me in a way that men do not understand;
- that some men will never understand. While you were giving your days and
- your nights, and every fiber of your brain and body, to what you called
- the cause of the people, you more and more forgot you had a wife. Again
- and again and again I tried to win you back to what you were when I
- married you&mdash;to the time when your cause was not all&mdash;but you
- wouldn't see; I couldn't make you feel.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Then I thought I would show you that other men were not such fools as to
- overlook what was wasted on you. But you never noticed; you trusted me too
- much; you were too much engrossed. And then I began to hate you. I loved
- you more than I ever did before, and at the same time I hated you. Can you
- understand that? Do you see how women can hate and love at the same time?
- Well, they can.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'At last&mdash;for I was a fool&mdash;I took a lover!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What was his name?' I broke in.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'His name?' she cried; 'that does not matter! What matter if there was
- one of them, or two of them. That is nothing!&mdash;the name is nothing&mdash;they
- were nothing&mdash;nothing but tools; the symbols of my rage, of my hatred
- for you; whether I loved or hated you, you were all&mdash;always.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'They were merely convenient clubs with which to murder my honor in the
- dark&mdash;is that it?' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' she said, 'that is it, if you choose to put it so.' And she spoke
- with a humility foreign to her nature.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'And what now?' I asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Now,' she said, 'now that I have spoken; now that I have told you
- everything; now that I have told you that I have gone on loving you more
- and more and more&mdash;now&mdash;I am going to die.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You have not asked me to forgive you,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No,' she replied. 'For what is forgiveness? I do not know exactly what
- that word means. It is supposed to wipe out something that has happened,
- is it not?&mdash;to make things the same as they were before! But it does
- not do that. That which has happened, has happened; and you and I know
- it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You had better live,' I said; 'I no longer consider you worthless. I
- feel that you are worthy of my anger now.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Her face cleared almost into something like joy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I have told the truth, and I raise myself from the depths of your scorn
- to the place where you can feel a hot rage against me?' she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I said. And the light on her face was like that of which some
- women are capable when they are told that they are beloved.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'And if I die?' she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Who knows but that you might climb by it?' I said. 'Who knows but what
- your death might turn my anger to love again?' And with that I turned and
- left her there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That night I sat all night in my study, and in the morning they brought
- me the news that she was dead. She must have used some poison. What, I do
- not know; and the physicians called it heart-failure. But what is the
- matter, Doctor?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nothing, nothing!&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu. And he motioned for the narrator to
- proceed. But there were beads of perspiration upon the healer's forehead,
- and a pallor overspread his face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had condemned her to death,&rdquo; the penitent went on, &ldquo;and she had been
- her own executioner. She had loved me; she had sinned against me; but she
- had always loved me; she had hated the flesh that sinned, and scorned it
- as much as I; her life was intolerable and she had been her own
- executioner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The revulsion of feeling came. I loved her again; now that I had lost
- her. All that day I shut myself up, seeing no one; refusing to look at the
- dozens of telegrams that came pouring in from friends and acquaintances,
- thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Night came again; and with it the word that the best friend I had was in
- the house; a friend of my college days, who had stood shoulder to shoulder
- with me in many a fight, then and since. He had come to be under the same
- roof with me in the hour of my bitterest bereavement, was the word he sent&mdash;how
- bitter now, he did not know. But he did not intrude upon the privacy of my
- grief. And I sat thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Suddenly the idea came to me that I would go upstairs to the chamber
- where she was, and look at her once more. Quietly I stole up the stairs,
- and through the hushed, dim house, on into the gloomy room, lighted only
- by the candles at the head and foot of the curtained couch on which she
- lay.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;In the room beyond, the watchers sat. I stole softly across the floor so
- as not to attract their attention; there was no one in the room with the
- body. I approached the couch, and with my hand put by the curtain&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Then I dropped it suddenly. I remembered a locket which she had formerly
- worn that had always had my picture in it, in the early days of our
- married life; a locket that had never left her neck, waking or sleeping.
- And I wondered&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I wondered something about women which no one has ever been able to tell
- me; not even a woman. I wondered if any light o' love had ever been able
- to make her feel anything like <i>real</i> love, after all! I wondered if
- she had ever hugged the thought of her sin to her bosom, even as she had
- at first hugged the thought of our real love&mdash;hers and mine. I
- wondered if she had ever carried about with her a sentimental reminder of
- her lover, of any lover, as she had once done of her husband&mdash;and how
- long ago! I wondered how important a thing it had seemed to her, after
- all! She had reconciled herself to herself, with her death, and made me
- love her again. And I wondered to how great an extent she had ever fooled
- a lover into thinking she loved him! There are depths and contradictions
- and cross-currents in the souls of women that even women do not know, far
- less men&mdash;I wondered whose picture was in that locket!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thrust my hand through the curtains of the bed again, and then jumped
- back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had felt something warm there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did she live, after all?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At the same instant I heard a movement on the other side of the bed. I
- went around.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My best friend was removing his hand from the curtains on the other side,
- and in his hand was the locket. It was his hand that I had felt.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We stared at each other. I spoke first, and in a whisper, so that the
- others in the next room, who had come to watch, should not hear.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I came for that,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'The locket? So did I,&rdquo; he said. And then added quite simply, 'My picture
- is in it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You lie!' I whispered, shaken by a wind of fury. And yet I knew that
- perhaps he did not lie, that what he said might well be true. Perhaps that
- was the cause of my fury.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His face was lined with a grief and weariness terrible to behold. To look
- at him you would have thought that there was nothing else in the world for
- him except grief. It was a great grief that made him careless of
- everything else.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'It is my picture,' he said. 'She loved me.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I say that you lie,' I repeated. 'She may have played with you&mdash;but
- she never loved any one but me&mdash;in her heart she never did!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You!' And because he whispered, hissing out the words, they seemed to
- gain in intensity of scorn. 'You! She hated you! You who neglected her,
- you with your damned eternal politics, you who could never understand her&mdash;love?
- You who could never give her the things a woman needs and must have&mdash;the
- warmth&mdash;the color&mdash;the romance&mdash;the poetry of life! You!&mdash;with
- your cold-blooded humanitarianism! I tell you, she loved <i>me!</i> Why
- should I hesitate to avow it to you? It is the sweetest thing on earth to
- me, that she loved me! She turned from you to me because&mdash;&mdash;'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Don't go into all that,' I said. 'I heard all about that last night&mdash;from
- her! Open the locket, and let us see whose face is there!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He opened it, and dropped the locket. He reeled against the wall, with
- his hands over his face, as if he had been struck a physical blow.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I picked the toy up and looked at it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The face in the locket was neither his face nor mine. It was the face of&mdash;of
- the man who ran from the pergola and vaulted over the orchard wall into
- the woods that summer night a year earlier; the man whom I had not, for
- the moment, recognized.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We stood there, this man who had been my best friend and I, with the
- locket between us, and I debated whether to strike him down&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The narrator paused. And then he said, fixing Dr. Beaulieu with an intent
- gaze:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Should I have struck him down? You, who are a teacher of ethics, who set
- yourself up to be, after a fashion, a preacher, a priest, a spiritual
- director, tell me, would I have been justified if I had killed him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu seemed to shrink, seemed to contract and grow smaller,
- physically, under the other man's look. He opened his mouth as if to
- articulate, but for a second or two no word came. And then, regaining
- something of his usual poise, he said, although his voice was a bit husky:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No! It is for the Creator of life to take life, and no other. Hatred and
- strife are disharmony, and bring their own punishment by throwing the soul
- out of unity with the spirit of love which rules the universe.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It sounded stereotyped and emotionless, even in Dr. Beaulieu's own ears,
- as he said it; there was a mocking gleam in the eyes of the other man that
- spoke of a far more vital and genuine emotion. Dr. Beaulieu licked his
- lips and there came a knot in his forehead; beads of perspiration stood
- out upon his brow.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You were right,&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu, &ldquo;in not striking him down. You were
- right in sparing him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The bearded man laughed. &ldquo;I did not say that I spared him,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu looked a question; a question that, perhaps, he dared not
- utter; or at least that he did not care to utter. He had dropped
- completely his rôle of spiritual counselor; he regarded his visitor with
- an emotion that might have been horror and might have been terror, or
- might have been a mixture of the two. The visitor replied to the unspoken
- interrogation in the healer's manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not strike him down. Neither did I spare him. I waited and I&mdash;I
- used him. I know how to wait; I am of the nature that can wait. It was
- years before fate drew all things together for my purpose, and gave him
- into my hands&mdash;fate, assisted by myself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I waited, and I used him. The details are not pertinent for it is not his
- story that I am telling. I piloted him to the brink of destruction, and
- then&mdash;then, I saved him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You saved him?&rdquo; Dr. Beaulieu was puzzled; but his fear, if fear it was,
- had not abated. There was a frank menace, now, in his visitor's air. And
- the healer seemed to be struggling, as he listened to the tale, to force
- some reluctant brain-cell to unlock and give its stored memories to his
- conscious mind.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I saved him. I saved him to be my creature. I broke him, and I saved him.
- I made him my slave, my dog, my&mdash;my anything I choose to have him. I
- have work for him to do.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Again the man paused, looking about the rich profusion of Dr. Beaulieu's
- studio. There was a table in the room which contained a number of curios
- from Eastern lands. The visitor suddenly rose from his chair and picked
- from among them a thin, keen-bladed dagger. It was a beautiful weapon, of
- some Oriental make; beautiful in its lines; beautiful with the sullen fire
- of many jewels blazing in its hilt&mdash;an evil levin that got into the
- mind and led the thoughts astray even as the dainty deadliness of the
- whole tool seduced the hand to grasp and strike. As his visitor, strangely
- breaking the flow of his narrative, examined and handled the thing, Dr.
- Beaulieu shuddered.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The man is as much my tool,&rdquo; said the visitor slowly, &ldquo;as this dagger
- would be your tool, Dr. Beaulieu, if you chose to thrust it into my breast&mdash;or
- into your own.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He laid the dagger down on the table, and resumed his seat. Dr. Beaulieu
- said nothing, but he found it difficult to withdraw his eyes from his
- visitor's steady stare. Slumped and sagged within his chair, he said
- nothing. Presently the visitor went on.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had a fancy, Dr. Beaulieu; I had a fancy! It suited me to make my
- revenge a less obvious thing than striking down the old friend who had
- betrayed my love and confidence, a less obvious thing than striking down
- the other man&mdash;the man whose face was in the locket.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As he spoke he took from his pocket a locket. He opened it, and gazed upon
- the face. The healer half rose from his chair, and then sank back, with a
- hoarse, inarticulate murmur. His face had turned livid, and he trembled in
- every limb. It was evident that the missing scene which he had sought
- before had suddenly been flashed upon the cinema screen of his
- recollection. He remembered, now&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was my fancy, Dr. Beaulieu, to make one of them take revenge upon the
- other, that I might thus be revenged upon them both.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He suddenly rose, and forced the locket into the healer's nerveless grasp.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That face&mdash;look at it!&rdquo; he cried, towering over the collapsed figure
- before him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Compelled by a will stronger than his own, Dr. Beaulieu looked. It was the
- counterfeit presentment of himself within. It fell from his trembling
- fingers and rolled upon the floor. The cultist buried his face in his
- hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- The other man stepped back and regarded him sardonically for a moment or
- two.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I should not wonder,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if the man who used to be my best friend
- would pay you a visit before long&mdash;perhaps in an hour, perhaps in a
- week, perhaps in a month.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He picked up the dagger again, and toyed with it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This thing,&rdquo; he said, impersonally, trying the point upon his finger, &ldquo;is
- sharp. It would give a quick death, a sure death, an almost painless
- death, if one used it against another man&mdash;or against one's self.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And without another word he turned and left the room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu sat and listened to his retreating footsteps. And, long after
- they had ceased to sound, Dr. Beaulieu still sat and listened. Perhaps he
- was listening for some one to come, now that the bearded man had left. He
- sat and listened, and presently he reached over to the table and picked up
- the dagger that the visitor had laid down with its handle toward him. He
- pressed its point against his finger, as the other man had done. It was
- sharp. It would give, as the fellow had said, &ldquo;a quick death, a sure
- death, an almost painless death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And as he whispered these words he was still listening&mdash;listening&mdash;waiting
- for some one to come&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XI.&mdash;The Locked Box
- </h2>
- <h3>
- I
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>t was a small,
- oblong affair, not more than three inches wide or deep, by twice that much
- in length, made of some dark, hard wood; brass bound and with brass lock
- and brass hinges; altogether such a box as a woman might choose to keep
- about her room for any one of a half dozen possible uses.
- </p>
- <p>
- Clarke did not remember that he had ever seen it prior to his unexpectedly
- early return from a western trip of a month's duration. He thought he
- would give his wife a pleasant surprise, so he did not telephone the news
- of his arrival to the house, but went home and entered her room
- unannounced. As he came in his wife hastily slipped something into the
- box, locked it, and put it into one of the drawers of her desk. Then she
- came to meet him, and he would not have thought of the matter at all had
- it not been for just the slightest trace of confusion in her manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was glad to see him. She always was after his absences, but it seemed
- to him that she was exceptionally so this time. She had never been a
- demonstrative woman; but it seemed to Clarke that she came nearer that
- description on the occasion of this home-coming than ever before. They had
- a deal to say to each other, and it was not until after dinner that the
- picture of his wife hurriedly disposing of the box crossed Clarke's
- consciousness again. Even then he mentioned it casually because they were
- talked out of more important topics rather than because of any very sharp
- curiosity. He asked her what it was; what was in it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, nothing!&mdash;nothing of any importance&mdash;nothing at all,&rdquo; she
- said; and moved over to the piano and began one of his favorite airs. And
- he forgot the box again in an instant. She had always been able to make
- Clarke forget things, when she wanted to. But the next day it suddenly
- came to him, out of that nowhere-in-particular from which thoughts come to
- mortals, that she had been almost as much confused at his sudden question
- as she had at his previous sudden entrance.
- </p>
- <p>
- Clarke was not a suspicious person; not even a very curious one, as a
- rule. But it was so evident to him that there was something in that box
- which his wife did not wish him to see that he could not help but wonder.
- Always frank with her, and always accustomed to an equal candor on her
- part, it occurred to him that he would ask her again, in something more
- than a casual way, and that she would certainly tell him, at the same time
- clearing up her former hesitation. But no!&mdash;why should he ask her?
- That would be to make something out of nothing; this was a trifle, and not
- worth thinking about. But he continued thinking about it, nevertheless....
- </p>
- <p>
- Ah, he had it! What a chump he had been, not to guess it sooner! His
- birthday was only ten days off, and his wife had been planning to surprise
- him with a remembrance of some sort. Of course! That accounted for the
- whole thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- With this idea in his head, he said nothing more about the box, but
- waited. And when dinner was over and they sat before the fire together, on
- the evening of the anniversary, he still forbore to mention it, expecting
- every moment that the next she would present him with the token. But as
- the evening wore away, with no sign on her part, he finally broke an
- interval of silence with the remark:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, dear, don't keep me guessing any longer! Bring it to me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Guessing? Bring you&mdash;what?&rdquo; And he could see that she was genuinely
- puzzled.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, my birthday present.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, my dear boy! And did you expect one? And I had forgotten! Positively
- forgotten&mdash;it <i>is</i> your birthday, isn't it, Dickie! If I had
- only known you <i>wanted</i> one&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo; And she came
- up and kissed him, with something like contrition, although his birthday
- had never been one of the sentimental anniversaries which she felt bound
- to observe with gifts.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't feel bad about it&mdash;I don't care, you know&mdash;really,&rdquo; he
- said. &ldquo;Only, I thought you had something of the sort in that brass-bound
- box&mdash;that was the only reason I mentioned it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Brass-bound box&mdash;why, no, I&mdash;I forgot it. I'm ashamed of
- myself, but I forgot the date entirely!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But she volunteered no explanation of what the box contained, although the
- opportunity was so good a one.
- </p>
- <p>
- And Clarke wondered more than ever.
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it be? The letters of some former sweetheart? Well, all girls
- had sweethearts before they married, he supposed; at least all men did. He
- had had several himself. There was nothing in that. And he would not make
- an ass of himself by saying any more about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Only... he could not remember any old sweethearts that he wouldn't have
- told Agnes all about, if she had asked him. He had no secrets from her.
- But she had a secret from him... innocent enough, of course. But still, a
- secret. There was none of those old sweethearts of his whose letters he
- cared to keep after five years of marriage. And there was no... But,
- steady! Where were his reflections leading him? Into something very like
- suspicion? Positively, yes; to the verge of it. Until Agnes got ready to
- tell him all about it, he would forget that damned box!
- </p>
- <p>
- And if she never got ready, why, that was all right, too. She was his
- wife, and he loved her... and that settled it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps that should have settled it, but it did not. Certain
- healthy-looking, fleshy specimens of humanity are said to succumb the
- quickest to pneumonia, and it may be that the most ingenuous natures
- suffer the most intensely with suspicion, when once thoroughly inoculated.
- </p>
- <h3>
- II
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">C</span>larke fought
- against it, cursing his own baseness. But the very effort necessary to the
- fight showed him the persistence of the thing itself. He loved his wife,
- and trusted her, he told himself over and over again, and in all their
- relations hitherto there had never been the slightest deviation from
- mutual confidence and understanding. What did he suspect? He could not
- have told himself. He went over their life together in his mind. In the
- five years of their married life, he could not have helped but notice that
- men were attracted to her. Of course they were. That was natural. She was
- a charming woman. He quite approved of it; it reflected credit upon him,
- in a way. He was not a Bluebeard of a husband, to lock a wife up and deny
- her the society proper to her years. And her very catholicity of taste,
- the perfect frankness of her enjoyment of masculine attention, had but
- served to make his confidence all the more complete. True, he had never
- thought she loved him as much as he loved her... but now that he came to
- think of it, was there not a warmer quality to her affection since his
- return from this last trip west? Was there not a kind of thoughtfulness,
- was there not a watchful increase in attentiveness, that he had always
- missed before? Was she not making love to him every day now; just as he
- had always made love to her before? Were not the parts which they had
- played for the five years of their married life suddenly reversed? They
- were! Indeed they were! And what did that mean? What did that portend? Did
- the brass-bound box have aught to do with that? What was the explanation
- of this change?
- </p>
- <p>
- The subtle imp of suspicion turned this matter of the exchanged rôles into
- capital. Clarke, still ashamed of himself for doing it, began covertly to
- watch his wife; to set traps of various kinds for her. He said nothing
- more about the box, but within six months after the first day upon which
- he had seen it, it became the constant companion of his thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>What</i> did he suspect? Not even now could he have said. He suspected
- nothing definite; vaguely, he suspected anything and everything. If his
- wife noticed his changed manner towards her, she made no sign. If
- anything, her efforts to please him, her attentiveness, her thoughtfulness
- in small things, increased.
- </p>
- <h3>
- III
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>here came a day
- when he could stand this self-torture no longer, he thought. He came home
- from his office&mdash;Clarke was a partner in a prosperous real-estate
- concern&mdash;at an hour when he thought his wife not yet returned from an
- afternoon of call making, determined to end the matter once for all.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went to her room, found the key to her desk, and opened the drawer. He
- found the box, but It was locked, and he began rummaging through the
- drawers, and among the papers and letters therein, for the key.
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps she carried it with her. Very well, then, he would break it open!
- With the thing in his hand he began to look around for something with
- which to force the fastenings, and was about deciding that he would take
- it down to the basement, and use the hatchet, when he heard a step. He
- turned, just as his wife entered the room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Her glance traveled from the box in his hand to the ransacked desk, and
- rested there inquiringly for a moment. Strangely enough, in view of the
- fact that he felt himself an injured husband and well within his rights,
- it was Clarke who became confused, apologetic, and evasive under her gaze.
- He essayed a clumsy lie:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Agnes,&rdquo; he began, indicating the desk, &ldquo;I&mdash;I got a bill to-day from
- Meigs and Horner, for those furs, you know&mdash;I was sure that the
- account had been settled&mdash;that you had paid them, and had shown me
- the receipt&mdash;that you had paid them from your allowance, you know&mdash;and
- I thought I would come home and look up the receipt.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was very lame; and very lamely done, at that, as he felt even while he
- was doing it. But it gave him an opportunity of setting the box down on
- the desk almost in a casual manner, as if he had picked it up quite
- casually, while he began to tumble the papers again with his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The receipt is here,&rdquo; she said; and got it for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- The box lay between them, but they did not look at it, nor at each other,
- and they both trembled with agitation.
- </p>
- <p>
- Each knew that the thoughts of the other were on nothing except that
- little locked receptacle of wood and brass, yet neither one referred to
- it; and for a full half minute they stood with averted faces, and fumbling
- hands, and played out the deception.
- </p>
- <p>
- Finally she looked full at him, and drew a long breath, as if the story
- were coming now; and there was in her manner a quality of softness&mdash;almost
- of sentimentality, Clarke felt. She was getting ready to try and melt him
- into a kind of sympathy for her frailty, was she! Well, that would not
- work with him! And with the receipted bill waving in his hand, he made it
- the text of a lecture on extravagance, into which he plunged with
- vehemence.
- </p>
- <p>
- Why did he not let her speak? He would not admit the real reason to
- himself, just then. But in his heart he was afraid to have her go on.
- Afraid, either way it turned. If she were innocent of any wrong, he would
- have made an ass of himself&mdash;and much worse than an ass. If she were
- guilty, she might melt him into a weak forgiveness in spite of her guilt!
- No, she must not speak... not now! If she were innocent, how could he
- confess his suspicions to her and acknowledge his baseness? And besides...
- women were so damned clever... whatever was in that box, she might fool
- him about it, somehow!
- </p>
- <p>
- And then, &ldquo;Good God!&rdquo; he thought, &ldquo;I have got to the place where I hug my
- suspicion to me as a dearer thing than my love, have I? Have I got so low
- as that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- While these thoughts raced and rioted through his mind, his lips were
- feverishly pouring out torrents in denunciation of feminine extravagance.
- Even as he spoke he felt the black injustice of his speech, for he had
- always encouraged his wife, rather than otherwise, in the expenditure of
- money; his income was a good one; and the very furs which formed the text
- of his harangue he had helped her select and even urged upon her.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was their first quarrel, if that can be called a quarrel which has only
- one side to it. For she listened in silence, with white lips and hurt
- eyes, and a face that was soon set into a semblance of hard indifference.
- He stormed out of the room, ashamed of himself, and feeling that he had
- disgraced the name of civilization.
- </p>
- <h3>
- IV
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>shamed of himself,
- indeed; but before the angel of contrition could take full possession of
- his nature, the devil of suspicion, the imp of the box, regained its
- place.
- </p>
- <p>
- For why had she not answered him? She knew he cared nothing about the
- trivial bill, the matter of the furs, he told himself. Why had she not
- insisted on a hearing, and told him about the box? She knew as well as he
- that that was what he had broken into her desk to get!
- </p>
- <p>
- Justice whispered that she had been about to speak, and that he had denied
- her the chance. But the imp of the box said that an honest woman would
- have <i>demanded</i> the chance&mdash;would have persisted until she got
- it! And thus, his very shame, and anger at himself, were cunningly turned
- and twisted by the genius of the brass-bound box into a confirmation of
- his suspicions.
- </p>
- <h3>
- V
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>uspicions? Nay,
- convictions! Beliefs. Certainties!
- </p>
- <p>
- They were certainties, now! Certainties to Clarke's mind, at least. For in
- a month after this episode he had become a silent monomaniac on the
- subject of the brass-bound box. He felt shame no longer. She was guilty.
- Of just what, he did not know. But guilty. Guilty as Hell itself, he told
- himself, rhetorically, in one of the dumb rages which now became so
- frequent with him.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;the clock on the mantelpiece
- ticked off many dragging hours of intolerable minutes to that tune, while
- Clarke lay awake and listened. <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;repeat
- any word often enough, and it will hypnotize you. <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;so
- he and the clock would talk to each other, back and forth, the whole night
- through. If any suggestions of his former, more normal habits of thought
- came to him now it was they that were laughed out of court; it was they
- that were flung away and scorned as traitors.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was guilty. But he would be crafty! He would be cunning. He would make
- no mistake. He would allow her no subterfuge. He would give her no chance
- to snare him back into a condition of half belief. There should be no
- juggling explanations. They were clever as the devil, women were! But this
- one should have no chance to fool him again. She had fooled him too long
- already.
- </p>
- <p>
- And she kept trying to fool him. Shortly after his outburst over the furs,
- she began again a series of timid advances which would have struck him as
- pathetic had he not known that her whole nature was corroded and corrupted
- with deceit, with abominable deceit. She was trying to make him believe
- that she did not know why he was angry and estranged, was she? He would
- show her! He hated her now, with that restless, burning intensity of
- hatred known only to him who has injured another. A hatred that consumed
- his own vitality, and made him sick in soul and body. The little sleep he
- got was passed in uneasy dreams of his revenge; and his waking hours were
- devoted to plots and plans of the form which it should take. Oh, but she
- had been cunning to fool him for so long; but she should see! She should
- see! When the time for action came, she should see!
- </p>
- <h3>
- VI
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>omething, one
- tense and feverish midnight, when he lay in his bed snarling and brooding
- and chuckling&mdash;a kind of snapping sense in some remote interior
- chamber of his brain, followed by a nervous shock that made him sit
- upright&mdash;warned him that the time for action was at hand. What is it
- that makes sinners, at provincial revival meetings, suddenly aware that
- the hours of dalliance are past and the great instant that shall send them
- to &ldquo;the mourners' bench&rdquo; is at hand? Somehow, they seem to know! And,
- somehow, Clarke felt an occult touch and knew that his time for action had
- arrived.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not care what came afterwards. Any jury in the world, so he told
- himself, ought to acquit him of his deed, when they once knew his story;
- when they once looked at the damning evidence of her guilt which she had
- hidden away for so long in the brass-bound box. But if they did not acquit
- him, that was all right, too. His work in the world would have been done;
- he would have punished a guilty woman. He would have shown that all men
- are not fools.
- </p>
- <p>
- But he did not spend a great deal of thought on how other people would
- regard what he was about to do. As he crept down the hall with the knife
- in his hand, his chief sensation was a premonitory itch, a salty tang of
- pleasure in the doing of the deed itself. When hatred comes in where love
- has gone out, there may be a kind of voluptuary delight in the act of
- murder.
- </p>
- <p>
- Very carefully he opened the door of her room. And then he smiled to
- himself, and entered noisily; for what was the need of being careful about
- waking up a woman who was already dead? He did not care whether he killed
- her in her sleep or not;&mdash;indeed, if she wakened and begged for her
- life, he thought it might add a certain zest to the business. He should
- enjoy hearing her plead. He would not mind prolonging things.
- </p>
- <p>
- But things were not prolonged. His hand and the muscles of his forearm had
- tensed so often with the thought, with the idea, that the first blow went
- home. She never waked.
- </p>
- <h3>
- VII
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">H</span>e got the box, and
- opened it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Inside was a long envelope, and written on that were the words:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;To be opened by my husband only after my death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- That time had come!
- </p>
- <p>
- Within the envelope was a letter. It was dated on the day of his return
- from his western trip, a few months before. He read:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dick, I love you!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Does it seem strange to you that I should write it down?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Listen, Dickie dear&mdash;I <i>had</i> to write it! I couldn't tell you
- when I was alive&mdash;but I just had to tell you, too. And now that I am
- dead, what I say will come to you with all of its sweetness increased; and
- all of its bitterness left out! It will, now that I am dead&mdash;or if
- you die first, you will never see this. This is from beyond the grave to
- you, Dickie dear, to make all your life good to you afterwards!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, listen, dear, and don't be hard on me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When I married you, Dickie, I <i>didn't</i> love you! You were wild about
- me. But I only <i>liked</i> you very much. It wasn't really love. It
- wasn't what you <i>deserved</i>. But I was only a girl, and you were the
- first man, and I didn't know things; I didn't know what I <i>should have</i>
- felt.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Later, when I realized how very much you cared, I was ashamed of myself.
- I grew to see that I had done wrong in marrying you. Wrong to both of us.
- For no woman should marry a man she doesn't love. And I was ashamed, and
- worried about it. You were so good to me! So sweet&mdash;and you never
- suspected that I didn't care like I should. And because you were so good
- and sweet to me, I felt <i>worse</i>. And I made up my mind you should <i>never</i>
- know! That I would be everything to you any woman could be. I tried to be
- a good wife. Wasn't I, Dickie, even then?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I prayed and prayed and prayed. 'O God,' I used to say, 'let me love
- him like he loves me!' It was five years, Dickie, and I <i>liked</i> you
- more, and <i>admired</i> you more, and saw more in you that was worth
- while, every week; but still, no miracle happened.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then one morning <i>a miracle did happen!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was when you were on that trip West. I had gone to bed thinking how
- kind and dear you were. I missed you, Dickie dear, and <i>needed</i> you.
- And when I woke up, there was a change over the world. I felt so
- different, somehow. It had come! Wasn't it wonderful, Dickie?&mdash;it had
- come! And I sang all that day for joy. I could hardly wait for you to come
- home so that I could tell you. I loved you, loved you, loved you, Dickie,
- <i>as you deserved!</i> My prayers had been answered, somehow&mdash;or
- maybe it was what any woman would do just living near you and being with
- you.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then I saw <i>I couldn't tell you, after all!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For if I told you I loved you now, that would be to tell you that for
- five years <i>I hadn't loved you</i>, Dickie!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And how would <i>that</i> make you feel? Wouldn't that have been like a
- knife, Dickie?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I wanted you to know! <i>How</i> I wanted you to know! But, you see,
- I couldn't tell you, could I, dear, without telling the other, too? I just
- <i>had</i> to save you from that! And I just had to make you feel it,
- somehow or other. And I <i>will</i> make you feel it, Dickie!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I can't tell you. Who knows what ideas you might get into your head
- about those five years, if I told you now? Men are so queer, and they can
- be so stupid sometimes! And I can't bear to think of losing one smallest
- bit of your love... not now! It would <i>kill</i> me!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I want you to know, sometime. And so I'm writing you&mdash;it's my
- first love letter&mdash;the first real one, Dickie. If <i>you</i> die
- first, I'll tell you in Heaven. And if <i>I</i> die first, you'll
- understand!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Agnes.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XII.&mdash;Behind the Curtain
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>t was as dark as
- the belly of the fish that swallowed Jonah. A drizzling rain blanketed the
- earth in chill discomfort. As I splashed and struggled along the country
- road, now in the beaten path, and now among the wet weeds by its side, I
- had never more heartily yearned for the dullness and comforts of
- respectability. Here was I with more talents in my quiver, it pleased me
- to think, than nine out of ten of the burghers I had left sleeping snug
- and smug in the town a few miles behind; with as much real love of
- humanity as the next man, too; and yet shivering and cursing my way into
- another situation that might well mean my death. And all for what? For
- fame or riches? No, for little more than a mere existence, albeit free
- from responsibility. Indeed, I was all but ready to become an honest man
- then and there, to turn back and give up the night's adventure, had but my
- imagination furnished me with the picture of some occupation whereby I
- might gain the same leisure and independence as by what your precisians
- call thieving.
- </p>
- <p>
- With the thought I stumbled off the road again, and into a narrow gully
- that splashed me to the knees with muddy water. Out of that, I walked
- plump into a hedge, and when I sought to turn from it at right angles, I
- found myself still following its line. This circumstance showed me that I
- was come unaware upon the sharp turn of the road which marked the
- whereabouts of the house that was my object. Following the hedge, I found
- the entrance to the graveled driveway within a hundred yards of my last
- misstep, and entered the grounds. I groped about me for a space, not
- daring to show a light, until presently a blacker bulk, lifting itself out
- of the night's comprehensive blackness, indicated the house itself, to my
- left and a bit in front of me. I left the moist gravel&mdash;for there is
- nothing to be gained on an expedition of this sort by advertising the size
- and shape of your boots to a morbidly inquisitive public&mdash;and reached
- the shelter of the veranda by walking across the lawn.
- </p>
- <p>
- There, being out of eyeshot from the upper windows, I risked a gleam from
- my pocket lantern, one of those little electric affairs that are
- occasionally useful to others than night watchmen. Two long French windows
- gave on the veranda; and, as I knew, both of them opened from the
- reception hall. A bit of a way with the women is not amiss in my
- profession; and the little grayeyed Irish maid, who had told me three
- weeks before of old man Rolfe's stinginess and brutality towards the young
- wife whom he had cooped up here for the past four years, had also given
- me, bit by bit, other information more valuable than she could guess. So,
- thanks to the maid, I was aware that the safe where the Rolfe jewels were
- kept&mdash;and often a substantial bit of money as well&mdash;was situated
- in the library; which was just beyond the hall and connected with it by a
- flight of four or five steps. This safe was my objective point.
- </p>
- <p>
- The wooden window shutters were but the work of a moment; and the window
- fastenings themselves of only a few minutes more. (I flatter myself that I
- have a very coaxing way with window fasteners.) The safe itself would give
- me the devil's own trouble, I knew. It was really a job for two men, and I
- ached all over to be at it, to be safely through with it, and away, a good
- hour before sunrise.
- </p>
- <p>
- The window opened noiselessly enough, and I stepped within and set my
- little satchel full of necessary tools upon the floor. But the damp
- weather had swelled the woodwork, and as I closed the window again, though
- I pushed it ever so gently, it gave forth a noise something between a
- grunt and a squeak.
- </p>
- <p>
- And as pat as the report of a pistol to the pressure of the trigger came
- the answer&mdash;a sound of a quickly-caught breath from the warm dimness
- of the room. I made no motion; though the blood drummed desperately
- through my brain and my scalp tingled with apprehension and excitement.
- </p>
- <p>
- For ten, for twenty, for thirty seconds I stood so; and then the silence
- was broken by the unmistakable rustle of a woman's skirts. The sound came
- softly towards me through the darkness. It was my turn to let loose my
- held breath with a gasp, and in another moment I should have been through
- the window and running for it; when a woman's whisper halted me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is that you, Charles? And why did you not rap upon the shutter?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So some one called Charles was expected? Then, ticked off my thoughts
- almost automatically, the lady somewhere near me in the dark might have
- her own reasons for not caring to alarm the house just then! The thought
- steadied me to action.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shh,&rdquo; I whispered, feeling behind me for the window, and gradually
- opening it again. &ldquo;S-h-h! No, it is not Charles&rdquo;&mdash;and I put one foot
- backward across the sill. &ldquo;It is not Charles, but Charles has sent me to
- say&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Click!&mdash;went something by the window, and the room was flooded with
- sudden brilliance from a dozen electric globes. And again, click!&mdash;and
- I looked with blinking eyes at the muzzle of a cocked pistol held by the
- most beautiful, the most be-jeweled, the most determined-looking young
- woman it has ever been my lot to meet.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; she asked in a voice that was at once hoarse and sweet.
- &ldquo;Who are you? And what do you want? And where is Charles?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As I stood there dripping moisture upon the oiled floor, with my hands in
- the air&mdash;they had gone up quite involuntarily&mdash;I must have been
- the very picture of idiocy and discomfiture. I wondered if Charles,
- whoever the devil Charles might be, was always welcomed with a cocked
- pistol. Probably not; but, I wondered, how did she happen to have a pistol
- with her? I wondered why neck, breast, hair, arms, and hands should be
- ablaze with the diamonds that accentuated her lithe and vivid loveliness.
- I wondered why, now that she saw I was not Charles, she did not alarm the
- house. I wondered everything; but nothing to the point. And as I stood
- wondering she repeated:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who are you? And what do you want?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Madame,&rdquo; I stammered, my jarred brain fastening upon the sentence she had
- interrupted, &ldquo;Charles sent me to&mdash;to say to you&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles who?&rdquo; she asked. And as tense as was her face, a gleam of
- merriment shot through her eyes. &ldquo;Charles who?&rdquo; she repeated.
- </p>
- <p>
- Charles was not one of the points upon which the Irish maid had given me
- information.
- </p>
- <p>
- The lady with the pistol considered for a moment. &ldquo;You are not very
- clever, are you?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If you will pardon me,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I think I had better be going. I seem to
- have mistaken the house.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You at least seem to have mistaken the proper manner in which to enter
- it,&rdquo; she returned.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, as to the mode of entrance,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I might plead that the mistake
- appears to have been less in that than in the person who employed it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I could not resist the retort. A dull red crept slowly up her neck and
- face; a pallid, olive-tinted face, beautiful in itself, beautiful for its
- oval contour and broad brow, and frame of black hair; beautiful in itself,
- and yet dominated and outdone by the lustrous, restless beauty of the dark
- eyes wherewith she held me more surely captive than by virtue of the
- pistol.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You will come in,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;and sit there.&rdquo; She indicated a seat beside
- a central table. &ldquo;But first you will kindly let me have whatever weapons
- you may possess.&rdquo; She took my revolver, examined it, and put her own in
- the breast of her gown. &ldquo;Now you may put your hands down,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;your
- arms must ache by now. Sit down.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I sat. She stood and looked at me for a moment.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am wondering what you are going to do with me,&rdquo; I ventured.
- </p>
- <p>
- In all of her quick actions, and in the tones of her voice, there was
- evident a most unnatural sort of strain. She may well have been excited;
- that was only to be expected in the circumstances. But the repressed
- excitement in this woman's manner was not that of a woman who is forcing
- herself to keep her courage up; not that of a woman who would like to
- scream; but a steadier nervous energy which seemed to burn in her like a
- fire, to escape from her finger tips, and almost to crackle in her hair;
- an intensity that was vibrant. I marveled. Most women would have screamed
- at the advent of a man in the dead of night; screamed and fainted. Or the
- ones who would not, and who were armed as she, would ordinarily have been
- inclined to shoot, and at once; or immediately to have given the alarm.
- She had done none of these things. She had merely taken me captive. She
- had set me down in a chair at the center of the room. She had not roused
- the house. And now she stood looking at me with a trace of abstraction in
- her manner; looking at me, for the moment, less as if I were a human being
- than as if I were a factor in some mathematical problem which it was the
- immediate task of that active, high-keyed brain of hers to solve. And
- there was a measure of irony in her glance, as if she alone tasted and
- enjoyed some ulterior jest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am wondering,&rdquo; I repeated, &ldquo;what you are going to do with me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She sat down at the opposite side of the table before she replied.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I believe,&rdquo; she said slowly, &ldquo;that I have nearly made up my mind what to
- do with you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; I asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- But she said nothing, and continued to say nothing. I looked at her and
- her diamonds&mdash;the diamonds I had come after!&mdash;and wondered again
- why she was wearing them; wondered why she had tricked herself out as for
- some grand entertainment. And as the ignominious result of my night's
- expedition pressed more sharply against my pride I could have strangled
- her through sheer disappointment and mortification. The pistol she held
- was the answer to that impulse. But what was the answer to her hesitancy
- in alarming the house? Why did she not give me up and be done with me?
- </p>
- <p>
- At the farther end of the room was a long red curtain, which covered the
- entrance to a sitting-room or parlor, as I guessed; and by the side of the
- curtain hung an old-fashioned bell cord, also of red, which I supposed to
- communicate with the servants' quarters. It were easy enough, now that she
- had taken the whip hand of me so cleverly, to pull that rope, to set the
- bell jangling, to rouse the house. Why did she not do so?
- </p>
- <p>
- Was she a mad woman? There was that in her inexplicable conduct, and in
- her highly-wrought, yet governed, mood, as she sat in brooding silence
- across the table from me, to make the theory plausible. Brooding she was,
- and studying me, I thought; yet watchful, too. For at any least motion of
- mine her hand tightened slightly upon the pistol. We sat thus while the
- slow seconds lengthened into intolerable minutes; and I steamed with
- sweat, and fidgeted. Nor was I set more at my ease by her long searching
- glances. In fact, my overthrow had been so instant and so complete that my
- scattered wits had never drawn themselves together again; I continued as
- one in a haze; as a person half under the power of the hypnotist; as a
- mouse must feel after the first blow of the cat's paw. And yet one idea
- began to loom clearly out of that haze and possess me&mdash;the idea that
- she desired the alarm to be given as little as I did myself.
- </p>
- <p>
- But there was no light in that. It was easy to understand why she did not
- wish the house aroused while she still believed me to be Charles&mdash;whoever
- Charles might be. But now?&mdash;it was too much for me. I could not find
- a justification in reason for my belief; and yet the conviction grew.
- </p>
- <p>
- She broke the silence with a question that might have been put with full
- knowledge of my thought.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are still wondering why I do not give you up?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- I nodded. She leaned towards me across the table, and if ever the demons
- of mockery danced through a woman's eyes it was then; and her lips parted
- in a kind of silent laughter.
- </p>
- <p>
- She touched the diamonds about her throat.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was these you came after?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I nodded again. Evidently speech was of no avail with this lady. She asked
- questions at her will, and reserved the right of answering none.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;Why are you a thief? Why do you steal?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Convey, the wise it call,'&rdquo; I quoted. &ldquo;Accident, or fate, or destiny, I
- suppose,&rdquo; I went on, wondering more than ever at the question, but with a
- fluttering hope. Perhaps the lady (in spite of Charles&mdash;such things
- have been!) was an amateur sociologist, a crank reformer, or something of
- that sort. There had been no mockery in her tone when she asked the
- question; instead, I thought, a kind of pity. &ldquo;Fate, or destiny,&rdquo; I went
- on, &ldquo;or what you please, 'There is a destiny that shapes our ends,
- rough-hew them how we will,'&rdquo; I quoted again, in my best actor manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you are a man with some air of better things about you.
- You quote Shakespeare as if he were an old friend. And yet, you are a
- thief! Tell me,&rdquo; she continued, &ldquo;tell me&mdash;I dare say there were many
- struggles against that destiny?&rdquo; There was a note almost of eagerness in
- her voice, as if she were a leniently-inclined judge who would fain search
- out and put in the mouth of a condemned man some plausible plea for the
- exercise of clemency. &ldquo;Come&mdash;were there not?&mdash;I dare say there
- were&mdash;circumstances of uncommon bitterness that forced you to become
- what I see you? And even now you hate the thing you are?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, as to that,&rdquo; I said, possessed of the sudden whim to be honest with
- myself for once, &ldquo;I am afraid that I can complain of no bitterer usage at
- the hands of the world than can the majority of those who reap where they
- have not sowed. When I think of it all, I am used to putting it to myself
- that my life is devoted to a kind of private warfare against the unjust
- conditions of a hypocritical social order.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Warfare!&rdquo; she flouted, hard and brilliant as one of her own diamonds
- again. &ldquo;And you could justify it, too, could you not?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then she asked me: &ldquo;Have you ever killed a man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, no,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;but I have tried to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He lived?&mdash;and you were sorry that he lived?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, quite out of my depths in all this moral quibbling, &ldquo;I was
- glad he lived.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet you hated him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I would have taken his life in a rage,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;He had wronged me as
- greatly as one man can wrong another.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet you were glad he lived? My dear thief&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Higgins is the name,&rdquo; said I. &ldquo;You may call me Higgins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My dear Higgins,&rdquo; she went on, &ldquo;you are inconsistent. You attempt to slay
- a man in what I should judge to have been a not ignoble passion. It may
- have been an anger that did you credit. And yet you are not bold enough to
- face the thought of killing him. You are glib with justifications of your
- thievery; and perhaps that is also because you are too much of a coward to
- look steadily at it. You creep along a mean and despicable path in life,
- contentedly, it seems to me, with a dead soul. You are what you are
- because there is nothing positive in you for either good or evil. You are
- negative; you were better dead. Yes, better dead!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Why should I have felt as if she were seeking self-justification in
- advance for some death she planned for me? Certainly, my life, or death,
- was not hers to give or take; she might give me up, and probably would.
- But just as certainly she had made me feel, as she passed her judgment
- upon me, that she was likely to turn executioner as well as judge. My
- doubts as to her sanity returned.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Still,&rdquo; I said, for the sake of saying something, &ldquo;if I killed a man, I
- should not like to think about it, even if he deserved death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Even if he deserved death?&rdquo; she repeated, and sprang up, as if the phrase
- had touched her. &ldquo;You make yourself the judge, you do, of when a man
- 'deserves' to lose his wealth. Come, what is your idea of when he deserves
- to die?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Up and down the room she swept; yet still watchful. And the emotion which
- she had so long suppressed burst out into a poisonous lovely bloom that
- suffused her being with an awful beauty.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When does he deserve to die?&rdquo; she repeated. &ldquo;Listen to me. I knew a woman
- once&mdash;no matter where&mdash;no matter when&mdash;who was sold&mdash;sold!
- I say&mdash;by the sordid devil she called her father, to the veriest
- beast that ever trod this earth. Her beauty&mdash;for she had beauty&mdash;her
- wit&mdash;for wit she had&mdash;became this husband's chattels before she
- turned her twentieth year. She would never have loved him, but she would
- have been faithful to him&mdash;she was faithful to him, in fact, in spite
- of all his drunkenness and bestiality&mdash;and abuse! It was not neglect
- alone that she had to complain of&mdash;she had never looked for
- understanding or sympathy. But she had not looked for abuse. Abuse, I say,
- and worse than abuse. Before she had been married a year she knew what it
- was, not only to feel the weight of a heavy hand and to hide the bruises
- from her maid, but to see other women brought into her very house. Pah!&mdash;hate?
- She hated him? Hate is not the word. She became a live coal. But she never
- cried out; she found strength to smile at him even when he beat her; she
- was proud enough for that. It pleased him, in his hellish humor, and
- because she was made to shine, to cage her in a country house, and there
- to taunt her that although she was sold to him she got little of what
- money may buy. And still she smiled at him, and still her hatred grew
- through all the weeks and months until it filled her whole being. And then&mdash;love
- came. For God has ordained that love may enter even Hell. Love, I say; and
- she loved this lover of hers with a passion that was measured only by the
- degree in which she hated her husband. And she would have left with him;
- but on the very night they would have flown together her lord and master&mdash;&mdash;-&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She said the words with an indescribable spluttering sneer, sidewise from
- her mouth. It is so a lioness may snarl and spit before she leaps.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Her&mdash;lord and master&mdash;found it out, and waited up to catch
- them; and coming upon her alone, taunted her. Taunted her, and struck her&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Look!&rdquo; she cried, and tore the diamonds from her breast, and rent the
- laces, and wrenched the fastenings apart. A new red weal that seemed to
- throb and pulse with her respiration stood out from the whiteness of her
- bosom.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me,&rdquo; she whispered hoarsely, &ldquo;would it have been murder if she had
- killed that man? Which were the more courageous thing&mdash;to kill him,
- or to step back into her living hell? If she had killed him, would she
- have regretted it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I know not what I might have answered; but at that instant three raps
- sounded distinctly upon the window-shutter. I leaped to my feet. Then
- Charles had come!
- </p>
- <p>
- An instant she stood as if stricken to a statue in mid-rage.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then she cried out, and there was a furious triumph in her voice&mdash;a
- kind of joy that matched itself to, and blended with, the fierce and
- reckless beauty of her shaken jewels, possessed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles,&rdquo; she cried, &ldquo;come in! Come in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Slowly the window opened and a man entered. He drew back in amaze at the
- sight of me, and turned to her with an air that was all one question.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thought you would never come,&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- He was a big blond man, and as he turned from the one to the other of us,
- with his helpless, inquiring face, and eyes that blinked from the outer
- darkness, he looked oddly like a sleepy schoolboy who has been awakened
- from an afternoon nap by the teacher's ruler.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Katherine,&rdquo; he finally stammered, &ldquo;what is this? Who is this man?&rdquo; He
- passed his hand across his forehead as one may do who doubts whether or
- not he dreams; and walked towards the table.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I have shot the old man.&rdquo; I have seen a beef
- stricken on the head with a mallet look at its executioner with big eyes
- for an instant before the quivering in its limbs set in and it sank to the
- ground. So this Charles looked with wide, stupid eyes, and shivered, and
- dropped the great bulk of him into a chair. His head sank upon his hand.
- But finally he looked up, and spoke in a confused voice, as if through a
- mist. &ldquo;Good God, Katherine, what do you mean?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; she said, framing the words slowly, as one speaks a lesson to a
- child, &ldquo;I mean that I have killed the old man.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And moving swiftly across the room she flung back the heavy red curtain at
- the end of it; and I saw the answer to my many questionings.
- </p>
- <p>
- The body lay upon its back, with one arm bent, the hand across the chest,
- and the fingers spread wide. The face was that of a man of sixty or
- thereabouts, but, indeed, so deeply lined and wrinkled and pouched with
- evil living that the age even in life must have been hard to determine.
- Blood was coagulating about a bullet wound in the temple, and there were
- powder burns on the forehead. The shot had been fired at close range,
- evidently from the weapon with which I had been confronted on my entrance;
- and the sound had been so muffled in the curtain that it was little wonder
- that the servants in the rooms above, and across the house, had not heard
- it. He had a monstrous nose, that man upon the floor, and it must have
- been a red nose in life; but now it was of a bluish-white color, like the
- skin of an old and scrawny fowl. That, and the thin, drawn-up legs, and
- the big flabby paunch of the thing, robbed the sight, for me, of all the
- solemnity which (we are taught) exudes from the presence of death. It made
- me sick; and yet I cackled with sheer hysteria, too; or rather my strained
- nerves jarred and laughed, if not myself. It was too damned grotesque.
- </p>
- <p>
- Herself, she did not look at it. She looked at the man called Charles; and
- he, with a shudder, lifted his slow gaze from the thing behind the curtain
- to her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was the first to speak, and the terrible joy with which she had bade
- Charles to enter still dominated her accents.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you understand, Charles? This man,&rdquo; and she indicated me with the
- pistol, &ldquo;this man takes the blame of this. He is a thief. He came just
- after&mdash;just afterwards. And I held him for your coming. Don't you
- see? Don't you see? His presence clears us of this deed!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Us?</i>&rdquo; queried Charles.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not <i>us?</i>&rdquo; she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My God, Katherine,&rdquo; he burst forth, &ldquo;why did you do this thing? And you
- would heap murder on murder! Why, why, why did you do it? Why splash this
- blood upon our love? A useless thing to do! We might have&mdash;we might
- have&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He broke down and sobbed. And then: &ldquo;God knows the old man never did me
- any harm,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And she'd accuse the thief, too!&rdquo; he cried a moment
- later, with a kind of wondering horror.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Listen, Charles,&rdquo; she said, and moved towards him; and yet with a
- sidelong glance she still took heed of me. &ldquo;Listen, and understand me. We
- must act quickly&mdash;but after it happened it was necessary that I
- should see you before we could act. This man came to rob; here is his
- pistol, and in that satchel by the window are his tools, no doubt. He may
- tell what wild tale he will; but who will believe him? You go as you came;
- I give him up&mdash;and we&mdash;we wait awhile, and then the rest of life
- is ours.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I suppose that it is given to few men to hear their death plotted in their
- presence. But I had come to the pass by this time where it struck me as an
- impersonal thing. I listened; but somehow the full sense of what she said,
- as affecting me, did not then impinge upon my brain with waking force. I
- stood as if in a trance; I stood and looked on at those two contending
- personalities, that were concerned just now with the question of my life
- or death, as if I were a spectator in a theater&mdash;as if it were
- someone else of whom they spoke.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Go,&rdquo; she cried to Charles again, &ldquo;and I will give him up.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Katherine,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and you would do this thing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why?&rdquo; she retorted, &ldquo;what is this man's life beside mine? His soul is
- dead! I tell you, Charles, that I have come through Hell alive to gain one
- ray of happiness! But go!&mdash;and leave the rest to me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And she grasped the bell cord and pulled it. Pulled it again and again.
- The sound wandered crazily through what remote corridors I know not.
- </p>
- <p>
- She made a step towards him. He leaped to his feet with an oath, with
- loathing in his eyes, shrank back from her, and held out a hand as if to
- ward off some unclean thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- Bewilderment lined her face. She groped to understand. And then, as the
- full significance of his gesture came home to her, she winced and swayed
- as if from a blow; and the pistol dropped from her loosened grasp to the
- floor.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You&mdash;you abandon me?&rdquo; she said slowly. &ldquo;You desert me, then? Love,
- Love, think how I have loved you that I did this thing! And is what I have
- suffered&mdash;what I have done&mdash;still to purchase&mdash;nothing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She pleaded for my death; but I hope that I shall never again see on any
- human face the look of despair that was on hers. I pitied her!
- </p>
- <p>
- Heavy feet on the stairway woke me from my trance. Unregarded of them both
- I grasped my pistol from the floor and sprang for the window. A door
- opened somewhere above, and a voice asked:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You rang, Ma'am?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- From without the window I looked back into the room. She stood with
- outstretched hands&mdash;hands that reached upward from the pit of
- torment, my fancy told me&mdash;and pleaded for a little love. &ldquo;In all
- this world is there no little ray of love for me?&rdquo;&mdash;it was so my
- imagination rather than my hearing translated the slight movement of her
- lips. And while she and the man called Charles stood thus at gaze with one
- another, the servant spoke again from the stairway.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You rang?&rdquo; he asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- She slowly straightened. She steadied herself. And with her eyes still
- fixed upon those of Charles she cried:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, yes, I rang, Jones! Your master is&mdash;dead. Your master's
- murdered! And there, there,&rdquo; and she stabbed an accusing finger at her
- erstwhile lover, &ldquo;there is the man who murdered him!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I turned from the window and ran from that house; and as I ran I
- saw the Dawn, like a wild, fair woman, walk up the eastern sky with
- blood-stained feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XIII.&mdash;Words and Thoughts
- </h2>
- <h3>
- [A Play in One Act]
- </h3>
- <p>
- Characters:
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny Hemlock
- </p>
- <p>
- John Speaker
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary Speaker
- </p>
- <p>
- John Thinker
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary Thinker
- </p>
- <p>
- Maid
- </p>
- <p>
- Period, the present. Place, any American city.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Scene <i>represents two drawing rooms, exact duplicates, furnished
- alike to the smallest detail. Either room might be the reflection of the
- other in a mirror. Each occupies half of the stage. The division line
- between them is indicated, towards the hack of the stage, by two pianos,
- which sit hack to back at the center of the hack drop. This division is
- carried by the pianos a quarter or a third of the way towards the
- footlights. The division is further suggested, towards the front of the
- stage, hy a couple of settees or couches, which also sit back to back.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- John Speaker and Mary Speaker <i>remain all the time in the room at the
- right of the stage. They are not aware of</i> John Thinker <i>and</i> Mary
- Thinker, <i>who are, throughout the play, in the room at the left. The</i>
- Thinkers, <i>however, are aware of the</i> Speakers.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>In make-up, looks, dress, etc., the two</i>Johns <i>are precisely
- alike. The same is true of</i> Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker. <i>The</i>
- Johns <i>are conventional-looking, prosperous Americans of from 38 to 40
- years of age. The two</i> Marys <i>are a few years younger.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny Hemlock <i>is a dried-up, querulous old woman of seventy.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>The Curtain, on rising, discovers the two</i> Johns <i>and the two</i>
- Marys. <i>It is between 7 and 8 in the evening; they are all in evening
- dress, and are preparing to go out, putting on their gloves, etc., etc.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Picking up over coat.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Are you ready, Mary dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Holding out a gloved hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Quite, John dear. Button this for me, won't you, love?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Busy with glove.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- It's been nearly a year, hasn't it, since we've been out together of an
- evening? I'm afraid Cousin Fanny is terribly trying on you at times, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You know, John, I don't consider her a trial. I <i>love</i> Cousin Fanny.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Busy with Mary Thinker's glove.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- The old cat's letting us off to-night, for a wonder, Mary. She's a
- horrible affliction!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>Passionately.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Affliction is no word. She makes my life a living hell! I hate her!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Helping <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> on with coat, which action is
- simultaneously imitated hy John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, we must bear with her gently, Mary. I am afraid poor Cousin Fanny
- will not be with us many more years.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- One comfort is she'll die before long!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Oh, John, you don't think Cousin Fanny's going to die, do you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't fool yourself about her dying soon, John. There's no such luck!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Enter Maid through door in right back to John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>,
- who look up. John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> also notice entrance of
- Maid and listen.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Miss Hemlock sent me to inquire whether you were going out to-night.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, quickly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- The old cat's up to something!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To Maid</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes. We were just starting. Does Miss Hemlock want anything? I will go to
- her if she wishes to speak with me.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She said, in case you were going out, that I was to tell you <i>not</i> to
- do so.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Not</i> to do so?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, ma'am; that's what she said. She said in case you were getting ready
- to go out, you were to change your plans and stop at home.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To Maid.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Not to do so? But, surely, there must be some mistake!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Maid shakes her head slowly, deliberately, looking fixedly at John
- Speaker; and while she is doing so <br /><b>John Thinker</b> says to <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b></i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Some malicious idea is working in her head tonight!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- No, sir, no mistake. She said very plainly and distinctly that you were
- not to go out tonight.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Maid bows and exits.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is not so well to-night, I'm afraid, dear, or she would
- certainly have put her request in some other way.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I didn't love Cousin Fanny, John, I would be tempted to believe that
- she deliberately tries at times to annoy us.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is old, and we must remember that she is very fond of us. We
- will have to bear with her.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> takes his top coat and his wife's coat> and
- lays them on a chair, while <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, who has been
- frowning and brooding, flings himself into chair and says to <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b></i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- For cold-blooded, devilish nerve in a man's own house, Cousin Fanny
- certainly takes the cake, Mary!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She gets more spiteful every day. She knows her power, and the more
- childish she gets the more delight she takes in playing tyrant.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cheer up, it isn't forever! If she doesn't change her will before she
- dies, it means fifteen thousand dollars a year. That's worth a little
- trouble!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You're away at your office all day. I'm here at home with her. It is I who
- catch all the trouble!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, after all, she's more nearly related to you, Mary, than she is to
- me.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's my mother's third cousin, if you call <i>that</i> near!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, then, she's my father's fifth cousin, if you call <i>that</i> near!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- What were you thinking of, John, dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nothing... nothing, Mary... except that
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is a poor, lonely old soul, after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Poor, lonely old woman, indeed&mdash;it's odd, isn't it, that she is
- related to both you and me, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's closer to you than to me, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You couldn't call a fourth or fifth cousin very near, John.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It almost seems as if you were trying to deny the blood tie, Mary!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- No, John, dear, blood is thicker than water.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> Thicker than water!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Relations are the most unpleasant persons on earth. I hate cousins.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Especially cousins who are also cousins-in-law! <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But even if she were only <i>my</i> relation, Mary, and not related to <i>you</i>
- at all, I know enough of your sweet nature to know that she would always
- be welcome in our home in spite of her little idiosyncrasies.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Enter Cousin Fanny, to John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, through door
- right hack. She coughs as she steps forward, leaning on a cane, and puts
- her hand to her chest, stop-ping. Then as she comes forward, she stumbles.
- John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> leap forward, put their arms behind her,
- and, supporting and leading her, conduct her tenderly down stage to chair
- at center of room they are in. John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>, near
- together at table in their room, lean forward eagerly and watch this
- entrance, and when the old woman stumbles, <br /><b>John Thinker</b> says
- to <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>, nudging her:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You see?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- See what?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She totters!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She stumbled.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's getting weaker.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> tenderly kisses Cousin Fanny, as <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b> says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Weaker! She'll live to be a hundred and ten!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Not she!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- The mean kind always do!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Tenderly, to Cousin Fanny, arranging cushion behind her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Can't I get you a wrap, Cousin Fanny?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't you feel a draught, Cousin Fanny?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Bitterly, frowning at other group</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- No draught will ever harm her!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>, sneeringly; petulantly.</i>] You're
- mighty anxious about a <i>wrap</i>, John! But you were thinking of going
- out and leaving me practically alone in the house.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Deprecatingly.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- But, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Interrupting</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't deny it! Don't take the trouble to deny it! Don't lie about it! You
- can't lie to me! Don't I see your evening clothes? And Mary, too! Both of
- you were going out&mdash;<i>both</i> of you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, we gave it up when we learned that you wanted us
- to stop at home with you. Didn't we, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Querulously, childishly, shrilly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't deny it, Mary, don't deny it! Don't excuse yourself! I can see you
- were going out! I can see your evening clothes!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- We'll go and change to something else, won't we, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She is going, as she speaks, but <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> cries out</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> stops, and <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> continues</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't take them off. I don't want you to take them off. What do you want
- to take them off for? Are they too good for <i>me</i> to see? Are they too
- grand for me to look at? Ain't I as good as any one you'd find if you went
- out? Heh?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, I didn't mean that. I meant&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Interrupting.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I know what you meant! Don't tell me what you meant, Mary. You meant to
- slip out and leave me here alone, both of you. It's lucky I caught you in
- time. It's lucky I have money! It's lucky I don't have to put up with the
- treatment most old folks get. I'd starve, if I were poor! I'd die of
- hunger and neglect!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She begins to cry, and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> No, no, no, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> soothes her, in pantomime, and pets her,
- trying to take her hands away from her face, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- resisting, like a spoiled and spiteful child. <br /><b>John Speaker</b>,
- behind <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> and his wife, walks up and down, with his
- eyes on them, running his hand nervously and excitedly through his hair.
- While this pantomime goes on, John and Mary Thinker are watching and
- saying </i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- This is to be one of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s pleasant evenings!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- This happens a dozen times a day.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> She's not really crying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Pretence! She works it up to be unpleasant.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> The old she-devil!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You know, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, that we try to do our duty by you.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Flinging his hand off.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You try to do your duty by my money! I know!
- </p>
- <p>
- I see! You talk of love and duty, but it's my money you want! But I may
- fool you&mdash;I may fool you yet. It's not too late to change my will.
- It's not too late to leave it all to charity!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She speaks these lines with a cunning leer, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>,
- nudging <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> and pointing to her, says:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> The old cat is capable of it, too!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- If you should leave your money to charity, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you
- would find it made no difference with us. You know blood is thicker than
- water, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Shrewdly, maliciously</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- So is sticky flypaper!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, you don't doubt the genuineness of our affection, do you,
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>? You've known me from my boyhood, <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b>, and you've lived with us for ten years. You ought to know us by
- this time! You ought to know us in ten years!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> Ten years of torture!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> It can't last much longer!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Who has taken her hand again, and has been patting it as a
- continuation of his last speech, and looking at her fondly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You trust us, don't you, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>? You really are sure of
- our affection, aren't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>. She shows that she really is willing to
- be convinced; she searches their faces wistfully; she is pathetically
- eager.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- John, John, you really <i>do</i> care for me, don't you? [<i>She takes a
- hand of each.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- It isn't <i>all</i> on account of my money, is it? If you knew I hadn't a
- cent, you'd still be good to me, wouldn't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Together.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, yes, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I lost it all; if I told you I'd lost it all, you'd be just the same,
- wouldn't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> exchange glances
- over her head, and John Speaker drops her hand, while <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- grabs <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> excitedly by the arm and says quickly</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- My God, you don't suppose she's really <i>lost</i> it, do you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- No! This is just one of her cunning spells now. She can be as crafty as a
- witch.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I hadn't a cent you'd still care for me, wouldn't you, Mary?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Why, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you know I would!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But I'm hard on you at times. I'm unjust. I don't mean to be spiteful, but
- I <i>am</i> spiteful. When we get old we get suspicious of people. We get
- suspicious of everybody. And suspicion makes us spiteful and unjust. I
- know I'm not easy to live with, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Kissing <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You get such strange notions, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- And such true ones, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Tell me the truth, Mary. You find me a trial, Mary. You and John find me a
- trial!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> and <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- Never, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> and <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>Together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- Always, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> And that is the truth?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>, <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>All together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- And that is the truth, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You don't know how suspicious one gets!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Petting her</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- But suspicion never stays long in your good heart, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.
- There's no room for it there, I know. But don't you think you'd better go
- to bed now? Let me call the maid.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rousing up in chair; suspicion and meanness all awake again</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- To bed? Why to bed? Why do you want to pack me off to bed? I know! I know
- why! You want me to go to bed so you two can talk about me. So you can
- talk me over! So you can speculate on how long I will live. I know you! I
- know what you talk about when I'm not around! I know what you've been
- waiting and hoping for the last ten years!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Begins to cry.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, you won't have long to wait now. The time's almost come! I feel it's
- almost here. You'll get the money soon enough!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Soothing her</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- There, there, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, don't go on like this!
- </p>
- <p>
- You know it isn't true&mdash;you know you'll live ten years yet!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> runs his hands through his hair and looks
- silently at <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, with
- the same gesture, says to Mary Thinker</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I thought she'd live ten years yet&mdash;&mdash;!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Pauses.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, if you thought she'd live ten years yet&mdash;&mdash;?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>With a gesture of de pair.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- My God&mdash;ten years like the last ten years! Ten years! Talk about
- earning money! If it hasn't been earned ten times over!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Fiercely.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You see it mornings and evenings. I have it all day long, and every day.
- I've had it for ten years. I go nowhere, I see no one. I have no
- pleasures. I have no friends; I've lost my friends. I'm losing my youth.
- I'm losing my looks. I'm losing my very soul. I'm shedding my life's blood
- drop by drop to keep that querulous fool alive&mdash;just merely alive!
- I'm tired of it! I'm sick of it! I'm desperate! I'm dying from her, I tell
- you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Still soothing <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, but speaking with one hand
- nervously clutching her own head as she does so</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>&mdash;you'd better go to bed now!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I won't go to bed yet! I want my medicine. It's time for my medicine now.
- I won't go to bed till I've had my sleeping tablets.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Where are they, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- On top of the bookcase there. The small phial. [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- goes to the bookcase and begins to rummage for phial, while <br /><b>John
- Thinker</b> says, meditatively</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I suppose if one ever gave her the wrong medicine by mistake it would be
- called by some ugly name!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- People like her never get the wrong medicine given to them, and never take
- it by mistake themselves.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Finding bottle; examining it</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- See here, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, didn't you have one of these about an
- hour ago? Didn't I see you take one of them right after dinner?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Peevishly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't know. I don't remember. I want one now, anyhow. My nerves are on
- the jump. You have got all my nerves on the jump. I'll take one, and nap
- here in the chair.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- She took one about an hour ago. I don't think it's quite right to let her
- have another so soon. They have a powerful depressing effect on the heart.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Let me see which ones they are.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> holds the bottle out towards <br /><b>Mary
- Speaker</b>, in front of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>. <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- snatches it with a sudden motion, and laughs childishly. <br /><b>John
- Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> look at each other inquiringly
- over her head.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She really shouldn't have another one now, I'm afraid, dear. It might be
- pretty serious. [<i>To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You <i>did</i> take one right after dinner, didn't you, <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b>?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Hugging bottle to her very excitedly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- No! No! I tell you I didn't! I <i>will</i> take one! You don't want me to
- get to sleep! You don't want me to get any rest! You want me to die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> I <i>know</i> that she <i>did</i> have one.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- What can you do, dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking hold of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s hands, and trying to take
- phial gently</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- See here, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you must be reasonable... you mustn't
- be stubborn about this. You can't have another tablet now. It's dangerous.
- It might even kill you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It <i>would</i> kill her as certainly as she sits there. <br /><b>John
- Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>... it might be dangerous.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- John, don't struggle with her! Don't you know if you struggle with her it
- is likely to prove fatal? The doctor says the <i>least</i> strain will
- prove fatal.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Whimpering and struggling.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Let me have it! Let me alone! Let go of my hands! You want to kill me! You
- want me to die so you can get my money!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Releasing her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- No! No! No! <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>... Come, be reasonable!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>He reaches for her hands again, and she grabs his hand and bites it.
- He draws back and says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- Damn!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Nurses his hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Did she bite you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Nurses his hand, and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> examines it, while <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b> pulls cork from phial with teeth, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- The old viper has teeth yet!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She is a cat... she is a she-devil... she is a witch... she has a bad
- heart....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, pointing to <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, who
- is shaking tablet out of bottle; she drops one and gropes for it, and
- shakes another more carefully, with air of childish triumph.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary, what <i>can</i> I do? She <i>will</i> have it! And if I struggle
- with her it will kill her! She is too weak to struggle! It will kill her
- to struggle! And if I let her take the tablet it may do her harm!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps the tablet won't do her any harm, John.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It will kill her as surely as she sits there. I know it will and <i>you</i>
- know it will.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Maybe it won't hurt her, Mary... but we can never tell.... I'm afraid...
- I'm afraid it really <i>might</i> harm her....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Putting tablet into her mouth</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- There! I'm going to sleep, now.... I'm going to sleep in spite of you. You
- hate me&mdash;both of you hate me&mdash;but you can't prevent me going to
- sleep!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's taken it, John. Do you suppose she really <i>did</i> have one
- before?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you <i>didn't</i> have one before, did you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She has closed her eyes; she opens them and rocks back and forth,
- laughing foolishly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking out handkerchief; mopping fore-head</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't believe she did. She says she did, but she doesn't know.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Rocking and laughing sillily.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, I did! You know I did!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She doesn't know.... She doesn't know whether she did or not.... She
- hasn't really been right in her mind for a long time. I don't think she
- had one before.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>As he speaks <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> ceases rocking and leans hack in
- her chair, closing her eyes. From this time on the two Johns and the two
- Marys stare at her intently, never taking their eyes off of her while they
- speak.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She <i>did</i> have one before.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I <i>know</i> she did.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Will she die? Will I see her die? I should hate to see her die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She <i>would</i> have that tablet... she WOULD have it. If I had taken it
- away from her by force it would have killed her; the struggle would have
- killed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Will I see her die? Will she die?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I let her have it to save her life... it was to save her life that I quit
- struggling with her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If she dies... but <i>will</i> she die?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She will die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rousing from her lethargy slightly; open-ing her eyes.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- John... Mary.... You really love me, don't you? Don't you? You really...
- really...
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Sinks back, with head slightly on one side and eyes closed again; does
- not move after this.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>They all speak with lowered voices now.</i>] She is asleep. She really
- needed the tablet. It was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and
- overwrought, and it has put her to sleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, it was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and overwrought, and it
- has put her to sleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- ... And you know, Mary, she <i>would</i> have t... if I had <i>struggled</i>
- with her, she would have <i>died!</i> A struggle would have killed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- And now she will die because there was no struggle.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She will die.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Is she breathing quite naturally, Mary?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Quite. Quite naturally.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> <i>Death</i> is quite natural.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> And she is dying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, if she had struggled and died... if she had died through any fault
- of mine... I would always have reproached myself....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You need never reproach
- yourself with regard to her....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She was old. She was very old. She will be better dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> She is not quite dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't like the way she is breathing.... She is scarcely breathing....
- She doesn't seem to be breathing at all!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Old people breathe very quietly.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> Old people die very quietly.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> And she is dying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She is dead!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary... Mary... is she breathing at all? <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Call the maid.... Send for the doctor.... Call the maid!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> It is too late for any doctor.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Too late!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary, Mary.... My God... she can't be <i>dead!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Bending above her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- John, dear... try to bear it bravely... but... but I'm afraid she is....
- Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> has left us!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rapidly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.... Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.... Poor
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Fifteen thousand a year... fifteen thousand a year.... Why do I think of
- that?... But I can't help it.... I can't help thinking of it....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> I'll go get the maid.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Going</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop.... Wait, Mary.... Don't call her yet... get her presently.... I
- don't want to be alone just now.... I'm in a kind of fog....
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Lights go out as he says this; he continues in the darkness.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I'm all in the dark.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Lights on again</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>In the interim, which is very short, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> has gone
- over to the room on the left in which are John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>,
- and sits in chair corresponding to one which she has just left.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She is silent and motionless, but her head is lifted; her eyes are
- open; she is alive again. When lights go on again, John and <br /><b>Mary
- Speaker</b> still stand before chair she has left as if she were in it; it
- is apparent that they believe themselves to be still looking at the old
- woman.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nonsense... all in the dark?... What do you mean by all in the dark?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nothing... nothing now. It has passed....
- </p>
- <p>
- [Pointing to chair where <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> was.] She died with a
- smile on her face!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But she isn't there.... <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> isn't there.
- </p>
- <p>
- ... She's here.... She's over here with us... over here with <i>us</i>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Here with us... over here, forever, now.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Holding <br /><b>John Speaker</b>'s hand and gazing at vacant chair</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- How beautiful she looks! She is at rest, now! She is better off so. Better
- dead. She is better at peace!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Violently; starting towards other room</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- My God. I'm going to stop it... stop it... stop that lying... stop it at
- any cost.... I'm going to stop that pretending... that damned
- pretending....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Quickly getting in front of him; holding him back.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- What are you going to do?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop it, I tell you.... Tell the truth... stop that pretense....
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Moves towards the other room. As he does so, <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- and John Speaker, for the first time become aware of John and <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b>, and shrink back in terror and alarm, clinging together,
- confused, convicted, abject, retreating, powerless; <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- leaps in front of John Thinker at same instant, and bars him back, saying:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Why? I <i>will</i> stop this pretense... Why not?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>All four of the others lean forward and hang eagerly upon her words</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You must not. It can't be done. It is the foundation upon which your
- society rests. It is necessary...<i> over there!</i>
- </p>
- <h3>
- CURTAIN
- </h3>
- <div style="height: 6em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Carter, and Other People
-
-Author: Don Marquis
-
-Release Date: May 1, 2016 [EBook #51913]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE
-
-By Don Marquis
-
-D. Appleton and Co.
-
-1921
-
-
-
-
-FOREWORD
-
-|I wish to acknowledge my indebtedness to the editors of several
-magazines for permission to reprint the following stories in book form.
-"Carter" was originally published in _Harpers Monthly Magazine_ under
-the title "The Mulatto."
-
-"Death and Old Man Murtrie" was printed in The New _Republic_; others
-were first brought out in _Everybody's Magazine, Short Stories, Putnam's
-Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post_. "The Penitent" was originally
-printed in _The Pictorial Review_, with the title "The Healer and
-the Penitent." The plot of this story is taken from two poems, one by
-Browning and one by Owen Meredith. Happening to read these two poems,
-one after the other, I was struck by the fact that Owen Meredith had
-unwittingly written what was in effect a continuation of a situation
-invented by Browning; the plot of the one poem, telescoped into the plot
-of the other, made in effect a complete short story. I pasted the two
-situations together, so to speak, inventing an ending of my own, and had
-a short story which neither Browning nor Owen Meredith could claim as
-his-and which I scarcely have the nerve to claim as mine. And yet this
-story, taken piecemeal from the two poets, gave me more trouble than
-anything else I ever tried to write; it was all there, apparently; but
-to transpose the story into a modern American setting was a difficult
-job. It is my only essay in conscious plagiarism-I hate to call it
-plagiarism, but what else could one call it?--and I give you my word
-that it is easier to invent than to plagiarize.
-
-The one-act play, "Words and Thoughts," was written ten years ago-in
-1911-and has been offered to every theatrical manager in America, and
-refused by them all. I still believe in it as a thing that could be
-acted with effect, and I am determined to get it read, even if I
-cannot get it produced. The fact that it has been going the rounds of
-theatrical managers for ten years is no indication that it has ever been
-read.
-
-Don Marquis
-
-New York
-
-
-
-
-I.-Carter
-
-|Carter was not exactly a negro, but he was a "nigger." Seven drops of
-his blood out of every eight were Caucasian. The eighth, being African,
-classified him. The white part of him despised and pitied the black
-part. The black part hated the white part. Consequently, wherever Carter
-went he carried his own hell along inside of him.
-
-Carter began to learn that he was a nigger very early in life. Nigger
-children are not left long in doubt anywhere, and especially in the
-South. Carter first saw the light--and the shadows--of day in Atlanta.
-The color line itself, about which one hears so much talk, seemed to run
-along one end of the alley in which he was born. It was an alley with a
-gutter and a great deal of mud in it. At the corner, where it gave into
-a little narrow street not much better than an alley itself, the mud was
-the thickest, deepest, and best adapted to sculptural purposes. But in
-the little street lived a number of white families. They were most
-of them mill hands, and a numerous spawn of skinny children, little
-"crackers," with faces white and sad even from babyhood, disputed the
-mud with the nigger children. Nigger babies of five, four, three, and
-even two, understood quite well that this most desirable mud, even
-though it was in the nigger alley, was claimed by the white babies as
-_their_ mud. It was in every way a more attractive sort of mud than
-any in the little street proper; and juvenile race riots were of almost
-hourly occurrence--skirmishes in which the very dogs took part. For the
-dogs grasped the situation as clearly as did the children; a "nigger"
-dog, even though he may have started in life as a white man's dog, soon
-gets a certain look about him.
-
-So there was no chance for Carter to escape the knowledge that he was
-a nigger. But it was with a thrill that he perceived in his youthful
-excursions from the home alley, that he was sometimes mistaken for a
-white child. He was so white in color that one could not tell he was a
-nigger at a casual glance.
-
-As he grew up, he made another discovery that elated and embittered him
-still more. He found out who his father was--or rather, who his father
-had been, since he never saw that gentleman. The white blood in Carter's
-veins was no common ichor. Because white people seldom speak of these
-things it does not follow that they are not known pretty generally among
-the negroes. They are, in fact, discussed.
-
-Carter went to school; he made the further discovery that he had
-brains--"white man's brains" is the way he put it to himself. Given the
-opportunity, he told himself, he could go as far as the average white
-man--perhaps further than the average. The white man's standard, nigger
-though he was, was still the standard by which he must measure himself.
-But the opportunity! Even as the youth prepared himself for it he
-perceived, hopelessly, that it would be denied him.
-
-As he matured he began to feel a strange, secret pride in that
-white family whose blood he shared. He familiarized himself with its
-genealogy. There is many a courtier who cannot trace his ancestry as
-far back as Carter could. One of his forebears had signed Magna Charta;
-several had fought in the Revolutionary War. There had been a United
-States Senator in the family, and a Confederate General. At times,
-feeling the vigorous impulse of hereditary instinct and ambitions,
-Carter looked upon himself as all white man, but never for long, nor to
-any purpose. The consciousness of his negro blood pulled him down again.
-
-But, as he grew up, he ceased to herd with black negroes; he scorned
-them. He crept about the world cursing it and himself--an unfortunate
-and bitter creature that had no place; unfortunate and bitter, cursed
-with an intellect, denied that mitigation that might have come with a
-full share of the negro jovialty of disposition, forever unreconciled.
-
-There was one member of that white family from which he drew so much of
-his blood whom Carter particularly admired. Willoughby Howard was about
-Carter's own age, and he was Carter's half-brother. Howard did not
-distinguish Carter from any other mulatto; probably did not know of his
-existence. But as Howard reached manhood, and, through virtue of his
-wealth and standing and parts, began to attain an excellent place in
-the world, his rise was watched by Carter with a strange intensity of
-emotion. Carter in some occult way identified himself with the career of
-Willoughby Howard--sometimes he almost worshiped Willoughby Howard,
-and then he hated him; he envied him and raged over him with the same
-breath.
-
-But mostly, as the isolation of his own condition, ate into his soul,
-he raged over himself; he pitied himself; he hated himself. Out of the
-turmoil of his spirit arose the one despairing cry, Oh, to be white,
-white, _white!_
-
-Many a night he lay awake until daybreak, measuring the slow minutes
-with the ceaseless iteration of that useless prayer: Only to be white! O
-God, for _one little year of being white!_
-
-Fruitless hours of prayers and curses!
-
-Carter went North. He went to New York. But the North, which affects to
-promise so much to the negro, in a large, loose, general way, does not
-perform in the same degree. There was only one thing which Carter would
-have thanked any one for performing; it was the one thing that could
-never be performed--he wanted to be made white. Sometimes, indeed, from
-the depths of his despair, he cried out that he wanted to be altogether
-black; but in his soul he did not really want that.
-
-Nevertheless, at several different periods he yielded to temptation
-and "went over to the whites." In the South he could not have done
-this without discovery, in spite of the color of his skin. But in the
-Northern cities, with their enormous numbers of aliens, all more or less
-strange to the American eye, Carter found no great difficulty in passing
-as white. He "looked a little foreign" to the casual glance; that was
-all.
-
-But if there was no great difficulty in it, there was no great
-satisfaction in it, either. In fact, it only made him the more bitter.
-Others might think him a white man, but he knew that he was a nigger.
-
-The incident which sent him back South, resolved to be a nigger, and to
-live and die among the niggers, might not have affected another in his
-condition just as it did Carter. But to him it showed conclusively that
-his destiny was not a matter of environment so much as a question of
-himself.
-
-He fell in love. The girl was a waitress in a cheap restaurant near the
-barber shop where Carter worked. She was herself a product of the
-East Side, struggling upward from the slums; partly Italian, with some
-Oriental strain in her that had given the least perceptible obliqueness
-to her eyes--one of those rare hybrid products which give the thinker
-pause and make him wonder what the word "American" will signify a
-century from now; a creature with very red lips and very black eyebrows;
-she seemed to know more than she really did; she had a kind of naive
-charm, a sort of allurement, without actual beauty; and her name had
-been Anglicized into Mary.
-
-And she loved Carter. This being, doomed from the cradle to despair, had
-his moment of romance. But even in his intoxication there was no hope;
-his elation was embittered and perplexed. He was tempted not to tell the
-girl that he was a nigger. But if he married her, and did not tell her,
-perhaps the first child would tell her. It might look more of a nigger
-than he did.
-
-But if he told her, would she marry a nigger? He decided he would tell
-her. Perhaps his conscience had less to do with this decision than the
-fatalism of his temperament.
-
-So he made his revelation one Sunday evening, as they walked along the
-boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton. To him, it was a tremendous
-moment. For days he had been revolving in his mind the phrases he
-would use; he had been rehearsing his plea; in his imagination he saw
-something spectacular, something histrionic, in his confession.
-
-"Mary," he said, as they sat down on a bench on the beach, "there is
-something I think I ought to tell you before we get married."
-
-The girl turned toward him her big, sleepy, dark eyes, which always
-seemed to see and understand so much more than they really did, and
-looked away again.
-
-"I ought to tell you," he said--and as he said it, staring out to sea,
-he was so imposed upon by the importance of the moment to himself that
-he almost felt as if the sea listened and the waves paused--"I ought to
-tell you that I have negro blood in my veins."
-
-She was silent. There was a moment before he dared look at her; he could
-not bear to read his doom in her eyes. But finally he did muster up
-courage enough to turn his head.
-
-The girl was placidly chewing gum and gazing at an excursion vessel that
-was making a landing at one of the piers.
-
-He thought she had not heard. "Mary," he repeated, "I have negro blood
-in my veins."
-
-"Uh-huh," said she. "I gotcha the first time, Steve! Say, I wonder if we
-couldn't take the boat back to town? Huh? Whatcha say?"
-
-He looked at her almost incredulous. She had understood, and yet she
-had not shrunk away from him! He examined her with a new interest; his
-personal drama, in which she, perforce, must share, seemed to have made
-no impression upon her whatsoever.
-
-"Do you mean," he said, hesitatingly, "that it will--that it won't make
-any difference to you? That you can marry me, that you _will_ marry me,
-in spite of--of--in spite of what I am?"
-
-"Gee! but ain't you the solemn one!" said the girl, taking hold of her
-gum and "stringing" it out from her lips. "Whatcha s'pose I care for a
-little thing like that?"
-
-He had looked for a sort of dramatic "situation"; and, behold, there was
-none! There was none simply because the girl had no vantage point from
-which to look at his life and hers. He had negro blood in his veins--and
-she simply did not care one way or the other!
-
-He felt no elation, no exultation; he believed that she _should_ have
-cared; whether her love was great enough to pardon that in him or not,
-she should have felt it as a thing that _needed_ pardon.
-
-As he stared at the girl, and she continued to chew her gum, he swiftly
-and subtly revised his estimate of her; and in his new appraisement
-there was more than a tinge of disgust. And for a moment he became
-altogether a white man in his judgment of the thing that was happening;
-he looked at the situation as a patrician of the South might have looked
-at it; the seven eighths of his blood which was white spoke:
-
-"By God!" he said, suddenly leaping to his feet and flinging aside the
-startled hand which the girl put out toward him, "I can't have anything
-to do with a woman who'd marry a nigger!"
-
-So Carter went back to Atlanta. And, curiously enough, he stepped from
-the train almost into the midst of a strange and terrible conflict of
-which the struggle in his individual breast was, in a sense, the type
-and the symbol.
-
-It was a Saturday night in September, an evening on which there began
-a memorable and sanguinary massacre of negroes; an event which has been
-variously explained and analyzed, but of which, perhaps, the underlying
-causes will never be completely understood.
-
-There was riot in the streets, a whirlwind of passion which lashed the
-town and lifted up the trivial souls of men and spun them round and
-round, and passed and left the stains of blood behind. White men were
-making innocent negroes suffer for the brutal crimes of guilty negroes.
-It had been a hot summer; scarcely a day had passed during July and
-August without bringing to the newspapers from somewhere in Georgia
-a report of a negro assault upon some white woman. A blind,
-undiscriminating anger against the whole negro race had been growing and
-growing. And when, on that Saturday afternoon, the newspapers reported
-four more crimes, in rapid succession, all in or near Atlanta, the
-cumulative rage burst into a storm.
-
-There was no danger for Carter in the streets; more than a hasty glance
-was necessary to spy out his negro taint. He stood in a doorway, in the
-heart of the business district of the town, and watched the wild work
-that went on in a large, irregular plaza, where five streets come
-together and all the car lines in the place converge. From this roughly
-triangular plaza leads Decatur Street, at one time notorious throughout
-the South for its negro dives and gambling-dens.
-
-Now and then Carter could hear the crack of a pistol, close at hand
-or far away; and again some fleeing negro would start from a place of
-temporary concealment, at the approach of a mob that beat its way along
-a street, and make a wild dash for safety, as a rabbit startled from the
-sedge-grass scurries to the brush. There was not one mob, but several;
-the different bands united, split up, and reunited, as the shifting
-winds of madness blew. The plaza, with arc lights all about it, was
-the brilliantly illuminated stage on which more than one scene of that
-disgusting melodrama was played out; from some dim hell of gloom and
-clamor to the north or east would rush a shouting group that whirled
-and swayed beneath the lights, dancing like flecks of soot in their
-brightness, to disappear in the gloom again, shouting, cursing, and
-gesticulating, down one of the thoroughfares to the west or south. And
-to Carter, in whose heart there waxed a fearful turmoil of emotions,
-even as the two races clashed along the echoing streets, there was a
-strange element of unreality about it all; or, rather, the night was
-dreadful with that superior reality which makes so much more vivid than
-waking life the intense experience of dreams. Carter thrilled; he shook;
-he was torn with terror and pity and horror and hatred.
-
-No white man felt all that Carter felt that night; nor yet any negro.
-For he was both, and he was neither; and he beheld that conflict which
-was forever active in his own nature dramatized by fate and staged with
-a thousand actors in the lighted proscenium at his feet.
-
-This thought struck Carter himself, and he turned toward another man who
-had paused in the doorway, with no clear intention, but perhaps with the
-vague impulse of addressing him, as a point of solid contact and relief
-from the sense of hurrying nightmare that possessed both the streets and
-his own spirit.
-
-Startled, he saw that the other man was Willoughby Howard. Carter
-hesitated, and then advanced a step. But whatever he had to say was
-interrupted by a crowd that swept past them from Decatur Street in
-pursuit of a panting negro. The fleeing colored man was struck a dozen
-times; he fell at the street corner near them, and the mob surged
-on again into the darkness beyond, already in full chase of another
-quarry--all but one man, who left the mob and ran back as if to assure
-himself that the prostrate negro was really dead.
-
-This was a short man, a very short man, a dwarf with a big head too
-heavy for him, and little bandy legs--legs so inadequate that he wabbled
-like an overfed poodle when he ran. Carter had seen him twice before
-that night, dodging in and out among the feet of the rioters like an
-excited cur, stumbling, falling, trodden upon; a being with bloodshot
-eyes and matted hair, hoarse voice and menacing fist, drunken and
-staggering with blood lust; the very Gnome of Riot himself come up from
-some foul cave and howling in the streets. "Kill them! Kill them!"
-he would cry, and then shake with cackling laughter. But he was only
-valiant when there was; no danger. As he approached the negro who lay
-upon the ground, and bent over him, Willoughby Howard stepped down
-from the doorway and aimed a blow at the creature with a cane. The blow
-missed, but the dwarf ran shrieking down Decatur Street.
-
-Howard bent over the negro. The negro stirred; he was not dead. Howard
-turned toward Carter and said:
-
-"He's alive! Help me get him out of the street."
-
-Together they lifted the wounded man, moving him toward the curbstone.
-He groaned and twisted, and they laid him down. Howard poured whisky
-into him from a pocket flask, and a little later he managed to struggle
-to a sitting posture on the curb, looking up at them with dazed eyes and
-a bloody face.
-
-Howard took his slow gaze from the negro and covered his face with his
-hands.
-
-Carter watched him.
-
-Of all men in the world this was the one whom Carter most honored and
-most loved--honored and loved, while he envied; he was the only man,
-perhaps, that could have touched Carter through his crust of bitterness.
-Carter listened with strained attention for what Howard would say, as if
-with some premonition that the words would be the cue for the most vital
-action of his life.
-
-"My God! My God!" said Willoughby Howard, "will this thing never stop?"
-And then he straightened himself and turned toward the shadow into which
-Carter had retired, and there was the glow and glory of a large idea on
-his face; the thought of a line of men never lacking, when once aroused,
-in the courage to do and die for a principle or a human need. "There is
-one way," he cried, stretching out his hands impulsively to Carter, and
-not knowing to whom or to what manner of man he spoke--"there is one way
-to make them pause and think! If two of us white men of the better class
-offer our lives for these poor devils--die in their defense!--the mob
-will halt; the crowd will think; we can end it! Will you do it, with me?
-Will you do it?"
-
-Two of us white men of the better class! Willoughby Howard had taken him
-for a white man!
-
-It was like an accolade. A light blazed through the haunted caverns of
-his soul; he swelled with a vast exultation.
-
-Willoughby Howard had taken him for a white man! Then, by God, he would
-be one! Since he was nothing in this life, he could at least die--and in
-his death he would be a white man! Nay, more:--he would die shoulder to
-shoulder with one of that family whose blood he shared. He would show
-that he, too, could shed that blood for an idea or a principle! For
-humanity! At the thought he could feel it singing in his veins. Oh, to
-be white, white, white! The dreams and the despairs of all his miserable
-and hampered life passed before him in a whirl, and now the cry was
-answered!
-
-"Yes," he said, lifting his head, and rising at that instant into a
-larger thing than he had ever been, "I will stand by you. I will die
-with you." And under his breath he added--"my brother."
-
-They had not long to wait. In the confused horror of that night things
-happened quickly. Even as Carter spoke the wounded negro struggled to
-his feet with a scarce articulate cry of alarm, for around the corner
-swept a mob, and the dwarf with matted hair was in the lead. He had come
-back with help to make sure of his job.
-
-With the negro cowering behind them, the white man and the mulatto
-stepped forth to face the mob. Their attitude made their intention
-obvious.
-
-"Don't be a damned fool, Willoughby Howard," said a voice from the
-crowd, "or you may get hurt yourself." And with the words there was a
-rush, and the three were in the midst of the clamoring madness, the mob
-dragging the negro from his two defenders.
-
-"Be careful--don't hurt Willoughby Howard!" said the same voice again.
-Willoughby turned, and, recognizing the speaker as an acquaintance, with
-a sudden access of scorn and fury and disgust, struck him across the
-mouth. The next moment his arms were pinioned, and he was lifted and
-flung away from the negro he had been fighting to protect by half a
-dozen men.
-
-"You fools! You fools!" he raged, struggling toward the center of
-the crowd again, "you're killing a white man there. An innocent white
-man------ Do you stop at nothing? You're killing a _white man_, I say!"
-
-"White man?" said the person whom he had struck, and who appeared to
-bear him little resentment for the blow. "Who's a white man? Not Jerry
-Carter here! He wasn't any white man. I've known him since he was a
-kid--he was just one of those yaller niggers."
-
-And Carter heard it as he died.
-
-
-
-
-II--Old Man Murtrie
-
-|Old Man Murtrie never got any fresh air at all, except on Sundays on
-his way to and from church. He lived, slept, cooked and ate back of the
-prescription case in his little dismal drug store in one of the most
-depressing quarters of Brooklyn. The store was dimly lighted by gas and
-it was always damp and suggested a tomb. Drifting feebly about in the
-pale and cold and faintly greenish radiance reflected from bottles and
-show cases, Old Man Murtrie with his bloodless face and dead white hair
-and wisps of whisker was like a ghost that has not managed to get free
-from the neighborhood of a sepulcher where its body lies disintegrating.
-
-People said that Old Man Murtrie was nearly a hundred years old,
-but this was not true; he was only getting along towards ninety. The
-neighborhood, however, seemed a little impatient with him for not dying.
-Some persons suggested that perhaps he really had been dead for a long
-time, and did not know it. If so, they thought, it might be kind to tell
-him about it.
-
-But Old Man Murtrie was not dead, any more than he was alive. And Death
-himself, who has his moments of impatience, began to get worried about
-Old Man Murtrie. It was time, Death thought, that he was dead, since he
-looked so dead; and Death had said so, both to God and to the Devil.
-
-"But I don't want to garner him, naturally," Death would say, "till
-I know which one of you is to have him. He's got to go somewhere, you
-know."
-
-God and Death and the Devil used to sit on the prescription counter in
-a row, now and then, and watch Old Man Murtrie as he slept in his humble
-little cot back there, and discuss him.
-
-God would look at Old Man Murtrie's pale little Adam's Apple sticking up
-in the faint gaslight, and moving as he snored--moving feebly, for even
-his snores were feeble--and say, with a certain distaste:
-
-"I don't want him. He can't get into Heaven."
-
-And the Devil would look at his large, weak, characterless nose;--a
-nose so big that it might have suggested force on any one but Old Man
-Murtrie--and think what a sham it was, and how effectually all its
-contemptible effort to be a real nose was exposed in Old Man Murtrie's
-sleep. And the Devil would say:
-
-"I don't want him. He can't get into Hell."
-
-And then Death would say, querulously: "But he can't go on living
-forever. My reputation is suffering."
-
-"You should take him," the Devil would say to God. "He goes to church
-on Sunday, and he is the most meek and pious and humble and prayerful
-person in all Brooklyn, and perhaps in all the world."
-
-"But he takes drugs," God would say. "You should take him, because he is
-a drug fiend."
-
-"He takes drugs," the Devil would admit, "but that doesn't make him a
-_fiend_. You have to do something besides take drugs to be a fiend. You
-will permit me to have my own notions, I am sure, on what constitutes a
-fiend."
-
-"You ought to forgive him the drugs for the sake of his piety," the
-Devil would say. "And taking drugs is his only vice. He doesn't drink,
-or smoke tobacco, or use profane language, or gamble. And he doesn't run
-after women."
-
-"You ought to forgive him the piety for the sake of the drugs," God
-would tell the Devil.
-
-"I never saw such a pair as you two," Death would say querulously.
-"Quibble, quibble, quibble!--while Old Man Murtrie goes on and on
-living! He's lived so long that he is affecting death rates and
-insurance tables, all by himself, and you know what that does to my
-reputation."
-
-And Death would stoop over and run his finger caressingly across Old Man
-Murtrie's throat, as the Old Man slept. Whereupon Old Man Murtrie would
-roll over on his back and moan in his sleep and gurgle.
-
-"He has wanted to be a cheat all his life," God would say to the Devil.
-"He has always had the impulse to give short weight and substitute
-inferior drugs in his prescriptions and overcharge children who were
-sent on errands to his store. If that isn't sin I don't know what sin
-is. You should take him."
-
-"I admit he has had those impulses," the Devil would say to God. "But
-he has never yielded to them. In my opinion having those impulses and
-conquering them makes him a great deal more virtuous than if he'd never
-had 'em. No one who is as virtuous as all that can get into Hell."
-
-"I never saw such a pair," Death would grumble. "Can't you agree with
-each other about anything?"
-
-"He didn't abstain from his vices because of any courage," God would
-say. "He abstained simply because he was afraid. It wasn't virtue in
-him; it was cowardice."
-
-"The fear of the Lord," murmured the Devil, dreamily, "is the beginning
-of all wisdom."
-
-"But not necessarily the end of it," God would remark.
-
-"Argue, argue, argue," Death would say, "and here's Old Man Murtrie
-still alive! I'm criticized about the way I do my work, but no one has
-any idea of the vacillation and inefficiency I have to contend with! I
-never saw such a pair as you two to vacillate!"
-
-Sometimes Old Man Murtrie would wake up and turn over on his couch and
-see God and Death and the Devil sitting in a row on the prescription
-counter, looking at him. But he always persuaded himself that it was
-a sort of dream, induced by the "medicine" he took; and he would take
-another dose of his "medicine" and go back to sleep again. He never
-spoke to them when he waked, but just lay on his cot and stared at them;
-and if they spoke to him he would pretend to himself that they had not
-spoken. For it was absurd to think that God and Death and the Devil
-could really be sitting there, in the dim greenish gaslight, among all
-the faintly radiant bottles, talking to each other and looking at him;
-and so Old Man Murtrie would not believe it.
-
-When he first began taking his "medicine" Old Man Murtrie took it in the
-form of a certain patent preparation which was full of opium. He wanted
-the opium more and more after he started, but he pretended to himself
-that he did not know there was much opium in that medicine. Then, when a
-federal law banished that kind of medicine from the markets, he took to
-making it for his own use. He would not take opium outright, for that
-would be to acknowledge to himself that he was an opium eater; he
-thought eating opium was a sin, and he thought of himself as sinless.
-But to make the medicine with the exact formula that its manufacturers
-had used, before they had been compelled to shut up shop, and use it,
-did not seem to him to be the same thing at all as being an opium eater.
-And yet, after the law was passed, abolishing the medicine, he would not
-sell to any one else what he made for himself; his conscience would not
-allow him to do so. Therefore, he must have known that he was eating
-opium at the same time he tried to fool himself about it.
-
-God and the Devil used to discuss the ethics of this attitude towards
-the "medicine," and Old Man Murtrie would sometimes pretend to be asleep
-and would listen to them.
-
-"He knows it is opium all right," God would say. "He is just lying to
-himself about it. He ought to go to Hell. No one that lies to himself
-that way can get into Heaven."
-
-"He's pretending for the sake of society in general and for the sake of
-religion," the Devil would say. "If he admitted to himself that it was
-opium and if he let the world know that he took opium, it might bring
-discredit on the church that he loves so well. He might become a
-stumbling block to others who are seeking salvation, and who seek it
-through the church. He is willing to sacrifice himself so as not to
-hamper others in their religious life. For my part, I think it is highly
-honorable of him, and highly virtuous. No person as moral as that in his
-instincts can get into Hell."
-
-"Talk, talk, talk!" Death would say. "The trouble with you two is that
-neither one of you wants Old Man Murtrie around where you will have to
-look at him through all eternity, and each of you is trying to put it on
-moral grounds."
-
-And Old Man Murtrie kept on living and praying and being pious and
-wanting to be bad and not daring to and taking his medicine and being
-generally as ineffectual in the world either for good or evil as a
-butterfly in a hurricane.
-
-But things took a turn. There was a faded-looking blonde woman with
-stringy hair by the name of Mable who assisted Old Man Murtrie in the
-store, keeping his books and waiting on customers, and so forth. She was
-unmarried, and one day she announced to him that she was going to have a
-child.
-
-Old Man Murtrie had often looked at her with a recollection, a dim and
-faint remembrance, of the lusts of his youth and of his middle age.
-In his youth and middle age he had lusted after many women, but he had
-never let any of them know it, because he was afraid, and he had called
-his fears virtue, and had really believed that he was virtuous.
-
-"Whom do you suspect?" asked Old Man Murtrie, leering at Mable like a
-wraith blown down the ages from the dead adulteries of ruined Babylon.
-
-"Who?" cried Mable, an unlessoned person, but with a cruel, instinctive
-humor. "Who but you!"
-
-She had expected Old Man Murtrie to be outraged at her ridiculous joke,
-and, because she was unhappy herself, had anticipated enjoying his
-astounded protests. But it was she who was astounded. Old Man Murtrie's
-face was blank and his eyes were big for a moment, and then he chuckled;
-a queer little cackling chuckle. And when she went out he opened the
-door for her and cocked his head and cackled again.
-
-It gave Mable an idea. She reflected that he took so much opium that he
-might possibly be led to believe the incredible, and she might get some
-money out of him. So the next evening she brought her mother and her
-brother to the store and accused him.
-
-Old Man Murtrie chuckled and... _and admitted it!_ Whether he believed
-that it could be true or not, Mable and her people were unable to
-determine. But they made the tactical error of giving him his choice
-between marriage and money, and he chose matrimony.
-
-And then Old Man Murtrie was suddenly seized with a mania for
-confession. God and Death and the Devil used to listen to him nights,
-and they wondered over him, and began to change their minds about him, a
-little. He confessed to the officials of his church. He confessed to all
-the people whom he knew. He insisted on making a confession, a public
-confession, in the church itself and asking for the prayers of the
-preacher and congregation for his sin, and telling them that he was
-going to atone by matrimony, and asking for a blessing on the wedding.
-
-And one night, full of opium, while he-was babbling about it in his
-sleep, God and Death and the Devil sat on the prescription counter again
-and looked at him and listened to his ravings and speculated.
-
-"I'm going to have him," said the Devil. "Any one who displays such
-conspicuous bad taste that he goes around confessing that he has ruined
-a woman ought to go to Hell."
-
-"You don't want him for that reason," said God. "And you know you don't.
-You want him because you admire the idea of adultery, and think that now
-he is worthy of a place in Hell. You are rather entertained by Old Man
-Murtrie, and want him around now."
-
-"Well," said the Devil, "suppose I admit that is true! Have you any
-counter claim?"
-
-"Yes," said God. "I am going to take Old Man Murtrie into Heaven. He
-knows he is not the father of the child that is going to be born, but he
-has deliberately assumed the responsibility lest it be born fatherless,
-and I think that is a noble act."
-
-"Rubbish!" said the Devil. "That isn't the reason you want him. You want
-him because of the paternal instinct he displays. It flatters you!"
-
-"Well," said God, "why not? The paternal instinct is another name for
-the great creative force of the universe. I have been known by many
-names in many countries... they called me Osiris, the All-Father, in
-Egypt, and they called me Jehovah in Palestine, and they called me
-Zeus and Brahm... but always they recognized me as the Father. And this
-instinct for fatherliness appeals to me. Old Man Murtrie shall come to
-Heaven."
-
-"Such a pair as you two," said Death, gloomily, "I never did see!
-Discuss and discuss, but never get anywhere! And all the time Old Man
-Murtrie goes on living."
-
-And then Death added:
-
-"Why not settle this matter once and for all, right now? Why not wake
-Old Man Murtrie up and let him decide?"
-
-"Decide?" asked the Devil.
-
-"Yes,--whether he wants to go to Hell or to Heaven."
-
-"I imagine," said God, "that if we do that there can be no question as
-to which place he would rather go to."
-
-"Oh, I don't know," said the Devil. "Some people come to Hell quite
-willingly. I've been to Heaven myself, you know, and I can quite
-understand why. Are you afraid to have Old Man Murtrie make the choice?"
-
-"Wake him up, Death, wake him up," said God. "It's unusual to allow
-people to know that they are making their own decision--though all of
-them, in a sense, do make it--but wake him up, Death, and we'll see."
-
-So Death prodded Old Man Murtrie in the ribs, and they asked him. For a
-long time he thought it was only opium, but when he finally understood
-that it was really God and Death and the Devil who were there, and that
-it was really they who had often been there before, he was very much
-frightened. He was so frightened he couldn't choose.
-
-"I'll leave it to you, I'll leave it to you," said Old Man Murtrie. "Who
-am I that I should set myself up to decide?"
-
-"Well," said God, getting a little angry, perhaps, "if you don't want to
-go to Heaven, Murtrie, you don't have to. But you've been, praying to go
-to Heaven, and all that sort of thing, for seventy or eighty years, and
-I naturally thought you were in earnest. But I'm through with you... you
-can go to Hell."
-
-"Oh! Oh! Oh!" moaned Old Man Murtrie.
-
-"No," said the Devil, "I've changed my mind, too. My distaste for
-Murtrie has returned to me. I don't want him around. I won't have him in
-Hell."
-
-"See here, now!" cried Death. "You two are starting it all over again.
-I won't have it, so I won't! You aren't fair to Murtrie, and you aren't
-fair to me! This matter has got to be settled, and settled to-night!"
-
-"Well, then," said God, "settle it. I've ceased to care one way or
-another."
-
-"I will not," said Death, "I know my job, and I stick to my job. One of
-you two has got to settle it."
-
-"Toss a coin," suggested the Devil, indifferently.
-
-Death looked around for one.
-
-"There's a qu-qu-quarter in m-m-my t-t-trousers' p-p-pocket," stammered
-Old Man Murtrie, and then stuck his head under the bedclothes and
-shivered as if he had the ague.
-
-Death picked up Murtrie's poor little weazened trousers from the floor
-at the foot of the cot, where they lay sprawled untidily, and shook them
-till the quarter dropped out.
-
-He picked it up.
-
-"Heads, he goes to Heaven. Tails, he goes to Hell," said Death, and
-tossed the coin to the ceiling. Murtrie heard it hit the ceiling, and
-started. He heard it hit the floor, and bounce, and jingle and spin and
-roll and come to rest. And he thrust his head deeper under the covers
-and lay there quaking. He did not dare look.
-
-"Look at it, Murtrie," said Death.
-
-"Oh! Oh! Oh!" groaned Murtrie, shaking the cot.
-
-But Death reached over and caught him by the neck and turned his face so
-that he could not help seeing. And Old Man Murtrie looked and saw that
-the coin had fallen with the side up that sent him to----
-
-But, really, why should I tell you? Go and worry about your own soul,
-and let Old Man Murtrie's alone.
-
-
-
-
-III.--Never Say Die
-
-|There seemed nothing left but suicide.
-
-But how? In what manner? By what method? Mr. Gooley lay on his bed and
-thought--or tried to think. The pain in his head, which had been there
-ever since the day after he had last eaten, prevented easy and coherent
-thought.
-
-It had been three days ago that the pain left his stomach and went into
-his head. Hunger had become a cerebral thing, he told himself. His body
-had felt hunger so long that it refused to feel it any longer; it had
-shifted the burden to his brain.
-
-"It has passed the buck to my mind, my stomach has," murmured Mr. Gooley
-feebly. And the mind, less by the process of coherent and connected
-thought than by a sudden impulsive pounce, had grasped the idea of
-suicide.
-
-"Not with a knife," considered Mr. Gooley. He had no knife. He had no
-money to buy a knife. He had no strength to go down the three flights
-of stairs in the cheap Brooklyn lodging house where he lay, and borrow a
-knife from the landlady who came and went vaguely in the nether regions,
-dim and damp and dismal.
-
-"Not with a knife," repeated Mr. Gooley. And a large cockroach, which
-had been crawling along the footpiece of the old-fashioned wooden bed,
-stopped crawling at the words as if it understood, and turned about and
-looked at him.
-
-Mr. Gooley wondered painfully, for it was a pain even to wonder about
-anything, why this cockroach should remind him of somebody who was
-somehow connected with a knife, and not unpleasantly connected with a
-knife. The cockroach stood up on the hindmost pair of his six legs, and
-seemed to put his head on one side and motion with his front legs at Mr.
-Gooley.
-
-"I get you," said Mr. Gooley, conscious that his mind was wandering from
-the point, and willing to let it wander. "I know who you are! You were
-Old Man Archibald Hammil, the hardware merchant back in Mapletown, where
-I was a kid, before you dried up and turned into a cockroach." And Mr.
-Gooley wept a few weak tears. For old Archibald Hammil, the village
-hardware merchant, had sold him the first knife he had ever owned.
-His father had taken him into Hammil's store to buy it on his seventh
-birthday, for a present, and it had had a buckhorn handle and two
-blades. Again he saw Old Man Hammil in his dingy brown clothes, looking
-at him, with his head on one side, as this cockroach was doing. Again
-he felt his father pat him on the head, and heard him say always to
-remember to whittle _away_ from himself, never _toward_ himself. And he
-saw himself, shy and flushed and eager, a freckle-faced boy as good and
-as bad as most boys, looking up at his father and wriggling and wanting
-to thank him, and not knowing how. That was nearly forty years ago--and
-here he was, a failure and starving and------
-
-_Why_ had he wanted a knife? Yes, he remembered now! To kill himself
-with.
-
-"It's none of your damned business, Old Man Hammil," he said to the
-cockroach, which was crawling back and forth on the footboard, and
-pausing every now and then to look at him with disapproval.
-
-Old Man Hammil had had ropes in his store, too, and guns and pistols,
-he remembered. He hadn't thought of Old Man Hammi's store in many years;
-but now he saw it, and the village street outside it, and the place
-where the stores left off on the street and the residences began, and
-berry bushes, and orchards, and clover in the grass--the random bloom,
-the little creek that bounded the town, and beyond the creek the open
-country with its waving fields of oats and rye and com. His head hurt
-him worse. He would go right back into Old Man Hammil's store and get a
-rope or a gun and end that pain.
-
-But _that_ was foolish, too. There wasn't any store. There was only Old
-Man Hammil here, shrunk to the size of a cockroach, in his rusty brown
-suit, looking at him from the footboard of the bed and telling him in
-pantomime not to kill himself.
-
-"I will too!" cried Mr. Gooley to Old Man Hammil. And he repeated, "It's
-none of _your_ damned business!"
-
-But how? Not with a knife. He had none. Not with a gun. He had none. Not
-with a rope. He had none. He thought of his suspenders. But they would
-never hold him.
-
-"Too weak, even for me," muttered Mr. Gooley. "I have shrunk so I
-don't weigh much more than Old Man Hammil there, but even at that those
-suspenders would never do the business."
-
-How did people kill themselves? He must squeeze his head till the pain
-let up a little, so he could think. Poison! That was it--yes, poison!
-And then he cackled out a small, dry, throaty laugh, his Adam's apple
-fluttering in his weazened throat under his sandy beard. Poison! He
-_hadn't_ any poison. He hadn't any money with which to buy poison.
-
-And then began a long, broken and miserable debate within himself. If he
-had money enough with which to buy poison, would he go and buy poison?
-Or go and buy a bowl of soup? It was some moments before Mr. Gooley
-decided.
-
-"I'd be game," he said. "I'd buy the soup. I'd give myself that one more
-chance. I must remember while I'm killing myself, that I'm not killing
-myself because I _want_ to. I'm just doing it because I've _got_ to. I'm
-not romantic. I'm just all in. It's the end; that's all."
-
-Old Man Hammil, on the footboard of the bed, permitted himself a series
-of gestures which Mr. Gooley construed as applause of this resolution.
-They angered Mr. Gooley, those gestures.
-
-"You shut up!" he told the cockroach, although that insect had not
-spoken, but only made signs. "This is none of your damned business, Old
-Man Hammil!"
-
-Old Man Hammil, he remembered, had always been a meddlesome old
-party--one of the village gossips, in fact. And that set him to thinking
-of Mapletown again.
-
-The mill pond near the schoolhouse would soon be freezing over, and
-the boys would be skating on it--it was getting into December. And they
-would be going into Old Man Hammil's store for skates and straps and
-heel plates and files. And he remembered his first pair of skates, and
-how his father had taught him the proper way to keep them sharp with a
-file. He and the old dad had always been pretty good pals, and----
-
-Good God! Why _should_ he be coming back to that? And to Old Man
-Hammil's store? It was that confounded cockroach there, reminding him of
-Old Man Hammil, that had done it. He wanted to die decently and quietly,
-and as quickly as might be, without thinking of all these things.
-He didn't want to lie there and die of starvation, he wanted to kill
-himself and be done with it without further misery--and it was a part
-of the ridiculous futility of his life, his baffled and broken and
-insignificant life, that he couldn't even kill himself competently--that
-he lay there suffering and ineffectual and full of self-pity, a prey to
-memories and harassing visions of the past, all mingled with youth and
-innocence and love, without the means of a quick escape. It was that
-damned cockroach, looking like Old Man Hammil, the village hardware
-merchant, that had brought back the village and his youth to him, and
-all those intolerable recollections.
-
-He took his dirty pillow and feebly menaced the cockroach. Feeble as the
-gesture was, the insect took alarm. It disappeared from the footboard
-of the bed. A minute later, however, he saw it climbing the wall. It
-reached the ceiling, and crawled to the center of the room. Mr. Goo-ley
-watched it. He felt as if he, too, could crawl along the ceiling. He had
-the crazy notion of trying. After all, he told himself light-headedly,
-Old Cockroach Hammil up there on the ceiling had been friendly--the only
-friendly thing, human or otherwise, that had made overtures to him in
-many, many months. And he had scared Cockroach Hammil away! He shed some
-more maudlin tears.
-
-What was the thing doing now? He watched as the insect climbed on to
-the gas pipe that came down from the ceiling. It descended the rod and
-perched itself on the gas jet. From this point of vantage it began once
-more to regard Mr. Gooley with a singular intentness.
-
-Ah! Gas! That was it! What a fool he had been not to think of it sooner!
-That was the way people killed themselves! Gas!
-
-Mr. Gooley got himself weakly out of bed. He would get the thing over as
-quickly as possible now. It would be damnably unpleasant before he lost
-consciousness, no doubt, and painful. But likely not more unpleasant and
-painful than his present state. And he simply could not bear any more of
-those recollections, any more visions.
-
-He turned his back on the cockroach, which was watching him from the
-gas jet, and went methodically to work. The window rattled; between the
-upper and lower sashes there was a crevice a quarter of an inch wide. He
-plugged it with paper. There was a break in the wall of his closet; the
-plaster had fallen away, and a chink allowed the cockroaches from his
-room easy access to the closet of the adjoining room. He plugged that
-also, and was about to turn his attention to the keyhole, when there
-came a knock on his door.
-
-Mr. Gooley's first thought was: "What can any one want with a dead man?"
-For he looked upon himself as already dead. There came a second knock,
-more peremptory than the first, and he said mechanically, "Come in!" It
-would have to be postponed a few minutes, that was all.
-
-The door opened, and in walked his landlady. She was a tall and bulky
-and worried-looking woman, who wore a faded blond wig that was always
-askew, and Mr. Gooley was afraid of her. Her wig was more askew than
-usual when she entered, and he gathered from this that she was angry
-about something--why the devil must she intrude her trivial mundane
-anger upon himself, a doomed man? It was not seemly.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she began severely, without preamble, "I have always
-looked on you as a gentleman."
-
-"Yes?" he murmured dully.
-
-"But you ain't," she continued. "You ain't no better than a cheat."
-
-He shrugged his shoulders patiently. He supposed that she was right
-about it. He owed her three weeks' room rent, and he was going to die
-and beat her out of it. But he couldn't help it.
-
-"It ain't the room rent," she went on, as if vaguely cognizant of the
-general trend of his thoughts. "It ain't the room rent alone. You either
-pay me that or you don't pay me that, and if you don't, out you go. But
-while you are here, you must conduct yourself as a gentleman should!"
-
-"Well," murmured Mr. Gooley, "haven't I?"
-
-And the cockroach, perched on the gas jet above the landlady's head, and
-apparently listening to this conversation, moved several of his legs, as
-if in surprise.
-
-"You have not!" said the landlady, straightening her wig.
-
-"What have I done, Mrs. Hinkley?" asked Mr. Gooley humbly. And Old
-Cockroach Hammil from his perch also made signs of inquiry.
-
-"What have you done! What have you done!" cried Mrs. Hinkley. "As if the
-man didn't know what he had done I You've been stealin' my gas, that's
-what you have been doin'--stealin', I say, and there's no other word for
-it!"
-
-Mr. Gooley started guiltily. He had not been stealing her gas, but it
-came over him with a shock for the first time that that was what he
-had, in effect, been planning to do. The cockroach, as if it also felt
-convicted of sin, gave the gas jet a glance of horror and moved up the
-rod to the ceiling, where it continued to listen.
-
-"Stealin'!" repeated Mrs. Hinkley. "That's what it is, nothin' else
-but stealin'. You don't ever stop to think when you use one of them gas
-plates to cook in your room, Mr. Gooley--which it is expressly forbid
-and agreed on that no cooking shall be done in these rooms when they're
-rented to you--that it's my gas you're using, and that I have to pay for
-it, and that it's just as much stealin' as if you was to put your hand
-into my pocket-book and take my money!"
-
-"Cooking? Gas plate?" muttered Mr. Gooley. "Don't say you ain't got
-one!" cried Mrs. Hinkley. "You all got 'em! Every last one of you! Don't
-you try to come none of your sweet innocence dodges over me. I know
-you, and the whole tribe of you! I ain't kept lodgers for thirty years
-without knowing the kind of people they be! 'Gas plate! Gas plate!' says
-you, as innocent as if you didn't know what a gas plate was! You got it
-hid here somewheres, and I ain't going to stir from this room until I
-get my hands on it and squash it under my feet! Come across with it, Mr.
-Gooley, come across with it!"
-
-"But I _haven't_ one," said Mr. Gooley, very ill and very weary. "You
-can look, if you want to."
-
-And he lay back upon the bed. The cockroach slyly withdrew himself from
-the ceiling, came down the wall, and crawled to the foot of the bed
-again. If Mrs. Hinkley noticed him, she said nothing; perhaps it was not
-a part of her professional policy to draw attention to cockroaches on
-the premises. She stood and regarded Mr. Gooley for some moments, while
-he turned his head away from her in apathy. Her first anger seemed to
-have spent itself. But finally, with a new resolution, she said: "And
-look I will! You got one, or else that blondined party in the next room
-has lied."
-
-She went into the closet and he heard her opening his trunk. She pulled
-it into the bedroom and examined the interior. It didn't take long. She
-dived under the bed and drew out his battered suitcase, so dilapidated
-that he had not been able to get a quarter for it at the pawnshop, but
-no more dilapidated than his trunk.
-
-She seemed struck, for the first time since her entrance, with the utter
-bareness of the room. Outside of the bed, one chair, the bureau, and
-Mr. Cooley's broken shoes at the foot of the bed, there was absolutely
-nothing in it.
-
-She sat down in the chair beside the bed. "Mr. Gooley," she said, "you
-_ain't_ got any gas plate."
-
-"No," he said.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, "you got _nothing at all._
-
-"No," he said, "nothing."
-
-"You had a passel of books and an overcoat five or six weeks ago," she
-said, "when you come here. It was seein' them books, and knowing what
-you was four or five years ago, when you lived here once before, that
-made me sure you was a gentleman."
-
-Mr. Gooley made no reply. The cockroach on the foot of the bed also
-seemed to be listening to see if Mrs. Hinkley had anything more to say,
-and suspending judgment.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," said the landlady, "I beg your pardon. You was lied on by
-one that has a gas plate herself, and when I taxed her with it, and took
-it away from her, and got rid of her, she had the impudence to say she
-thought it was _allowed_, and that everybody done it, and named you as
-one that did."
-
-Mrs. Hinkley paused, but neither Mr. Gooley nor the cockroach had
-anything to contribute to the conversation.
-
-"Gas," continued Mrs. Hinkley, "is gas. And gas costs money. I hadn't
-orter jumped on you the way I did, Mr. Gooley, but gas plates has got
-to be what you might call corns on my brain, Mr. Gooley. They're my
-sensitive spot, Mr. Gooley. If I was to tell you the half of what I have
-had to suffer from gas plates during the last thirty years, Mr. Gooley,
-you wouldn't believe it! There's them that will cheat you one way and
-there's them that will cheat you another, but the best of them will
-cheat you with gas plates, Mr. Gooley. With the exception of yourself,
-Mr. Gooley, I ain't had a lodger in thirty years that wouldn't rob me
-on the gas. Some don't think it's stealin', Mr. Gooley, when they steal
-gas. And some of 'em don't care if it is. But there ain't none of 'em
-ever thinks what a _landlady_ goes through with, year in and year out."
-
-She paused for a moment, and then, overcome with self-pity, she began to
-sniffle.
-
-"And my rent's been raised on me again, Mr. Gooley! And I'm a month
-behind! And if I ain't come across with the two months, the old month
-and the new, by day after to-morrow, out I goes; and it means the
-poorhouse as fur as I can see, because I don't know anything else but
-keeping lodgers, and I got no place to go!"
-
-She gathered her apron up and wiped her eyes and nose with it. The
-cockroach on the footboard wiped his front set of feet across his face
-sympathetically.
-
-"I got it all ready but fifteen dollars," continued Mrs. Hinkley, "and
-then in comes the gas bill this morning with _arrears_ onto it. It is
-them _arrears_, Mr. Gooley, that always knocks me out! If it wasn't for
-them arrears, I could get along. And now I got to pay out part of the
-rent money onto the gas bill, with them arrears on it, or the gas will
-be shut off this afternoon."
-
-The pain in Mr. Gooley's head was getting worse. He wished she would go.
-He hated hearing her troubles. But she continued:
-
-"It's the way them arrears come onto the bill, Mr. Gooley, that has got
-me sore. About a week before you come here again to live, Mr. Gooley,
-there was a fellow stole fifteen dollars worth of my gas all at once. He
-went and killed himself, Mr. Gooley, and he used my gas to do it with.
-It leaked out of two jets for forty-eight hours up on the top floor,
-before the door was busted in and the body was found, and it came
-to fifteen dollars, and all on account of that man's cussedness, Mr.
-Gooley, I will likely get turned out into the street, and me sixty years
-old and no place to turn."
-
-Mr. Gooley sat up in bed feebly and looked at her. She _was_ in real
-trouble--in about as much trouble as he was. The cockroach walked
-meditatively up and down the footboard, as if thinking it over very
-seriously.
-
-Mrs. Hinkley finally rose.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, regarding him sharply, "you look kind o' done
-up!"
-
-"Uh-huh," said Mr. Gooley.
-
-She lingered in the room for a few seconds more, irresolutely, and then
-departed.
-
-Mr. Gooley thought. Gas was barred to him now. He couldn't bring himself
-to do it with gas. There was still a chance that the old woman might
-get hold of the gas money and the rent money, too, and go on for a few
-years, but if he selfishly stole twelve or fifteen dollars' worth of gas
-from her this afternoon it might be just the thing that would plunge her
-into immediate destitution. At any rate, it was, as she had said, like
-stealing money from her pocketbook. He thought of what her life as a
-rooming-house keeper must have been, and pitied her. He had known many
-rooming houses. The down-and-outers know how to gauge the reality and
-poignancy of the troubles of the down-and-out. No, he simply could not
-do it with gas.
-
-He must think of some other method. He was on the fourth floor. He might
-throw himself out of the window onto the brick walk at the back of the
-building, and die. He shuddered as he thought of it. To jump from a
-twentieth story, or from the top of the Woolworth Tower, to a certain
-death is one thing. To contemplate a fall of three or four stories that
-may maim you without killing you, is another.
-
-Nevertheless, he would do it. He pulled the paper out of the crevice
-between the window sashes, opened the window and looked down. He saw the
-back stoop and there was a dirty mop beside it; there was an ash can,
-and there were two garbage cans there. And there was a starved cat that
-sat and looked up at him. He had a tremor and drew back and covered his
-face with his hands as he thought of that cat--that knowing cat, that
-loathsome, that obscene cat.
-
-He sat down on the edge of the bed to collect his strength and summon
-his resolution. The cockroach had crawled to the head of the bed and
-seemed to wish to partake of his thoughts.
-
-"Damn you, Old Archibald Hammil!" he cried. And he scooped the cockroach
-into his hand with a sudden sweep and flung it out of the window. The
-insect fell without perceptible discomfort, and at once began to climb
-up the outside wall again, making for the window.
-
-The door opened and Mrs. Hinkley entered, her face cleft with a grin,
-and a tray in her hands.
-
-"Mr. Gooley," she said, setting it on the wash-stand, "I'll bet you
-ain't had nothing to eat today!"
-
-On the tray was a bowl of soup, a half loaf of bread with a long keen
-bread knife, a pat of butter, a boiled egg and a cup of coffee.
-
-"No, nor yesterday, either," said Mr. Gooley, and he looked at the soup
-and at the long keen bread knife.
-
-"Here's something else I want to show you, Mr. Gooley," said the
-landlady, dodging out of the door and back in again instantly. She bore
-in her hands this time a surprising length of flexible gas tubing, and a
-small nickel-plated pearl-handled revolver.
-
-"You see that there gas tubing?" she said.
-
-"That is what that blondined party in the next room had on to her gas
-plate--the nerve of her! Strung from the gas jet clear across the room
-to the window sill. And when I throwed her out, Mr. Gooley, she wouldn't
-pay her rent, and I took this here revolver to part pay it. What kind of
-a woman is it, Mr. Gooley, that has a revolver in her room, and a loaded
-one, too?"
-
-Just then the doorbell rang in the dim lower regions, and she left the
-room to answer it.
-
-And Mr. Gooley sat and looked at the knife, with which he might so
-easily stab himself, and at the gas cord, with which he might so easily
-hang himself, and at the loaded revolver, with which he might so easily
-shoot himself.
-
-He looked also at the bowl of soup.
-
-He had the strength to reflect--a meal is a meal. But _after_ that meal,
-what? Penniless, broken in health, friendless, a failure--why prolong it
-for another twenty-four hours? A meal would prolong it, but that was
-all a meal _would_ do--and after that would come the suffering and the
-despair and the end to be faced all over again.
-
-Was he man enough to take the pistol and do it now?
-
-Or did true manhood lie the other way? Was he man enough to drink the
-soup, and dare to live and hope?
-
-Just then the cockroach, which had climbed into the window and upon the
-washstand, made for the bowl of soup.
-
-"Here!" cried Mr. Gooley, grabbing the bowl in both hands, "Old Man
-Hammil! Get away from that soup!"
-
-And the bowl being in his hands, he drank.
-
-"What do you mean by Old Man Hammil?"
-
-It was Mrs. Hinkley who spoke. She stood again in the doorway, with a
-letter in her hands and a look of wonder on her face.
-
-Mr. Gooley set down the soup bowl. By an effort of the will he had
-only drunk half the liquid. He had heard somewhere that those who are
-suffering from starvation had better go slow at first when they get hold
-of food again. And he already felt better, warmed and resurrected, from
-the first gulp.
-
-"What," demanded the landlady, "do you mean by yelling out about Old Man
-Hammil?"
-
-"Why," said Mr. Gooley, feeling foolish, and looking it, "I was talking
-to that cockroach there. He looks sort of like some one I knew when I
-was a kid, by the name of Hammil--Archibald Hammil."
-
-"_Where_ was you a kid?" asked Mrs. Hinkley.
-
-"In a place called Mapletown--Mapletown, Illinois," said Mr. Gooley.
-"There's where I knew Old Man Hammil."
-
-"Well," said the landlady, "when you go back there you won't see him.
-He's dead. He died a week ago. This letter tells it. I was his niece.
-And the old man went and left me his hardware store. I never expected
-it. But all his kids is dead--it seems he outlived 'em all, and he was
-nearly ninety when he passed away."
-
-"Well," said Mr. Gooley, "I don't remember you."
-
-"You wouldn't," said the landlady. "You must have been in short pants
-when I ran away from home and married the hardware drummer. But I'll bet
-you the old-timers in that burg still remembers it against me!"
-
-"The kids will be coming into that store about now to get their skates
-sharpened," said Mr. Gooley, looking at the boiled egg.
-
-"Uh-huh!" said Mrs. Hinkley. "Don't you want to go back home and help
-sharpen 'em? I'm goin' back and run that there store, and I'll need a
-clerk, I suppose."
-
-"Uh-huh," said Mr. Gooley, breaking the eggshell.
-
-The cockroach, busy with a crumb on the floor, waved his three starboard
-legs genially at Mr. Gooley and Mrs. Hinkley--as if, in fact, he were
-winking with his feet.
-
-
-
-
-IV.--McDermott
-
-|McDermott had gone over with a cargo of mules. The animals were
-disembarked at a Channel port, received by officers of that grand
-organization which guesses right so frequently, the Quartermaster Corps,
-and started in a southerly direction, in carload lots, toward the Toul
-sector of the Western Front. McDermott went with one of the carloads
-in an unofficial capacity. He had no business in the war zone. But the
-Quartermaster Corps, or that part of it in charge of his particular car,
-was in no mood to be harsh toward any one who seemed to understand the
-wants and humors of mules and who was willing to associate with them.
-And so, with his blue overalls and his red beard, McDermott went along.
-
-"I'll have a look at the war," said McDermott, "and if I like it, I'll
-jine it."
-
-"And if you don't like it," said the teamster to whom he confided his
-intention, "I reckon you'll stop it?"
-
-"I dunno," replied McDermott, "as I would be justified in stoppin' a
-good war. The McDermotts has niver been great hands f'r stoppin' wars.
-The McDermotts is always more like to be startin' wars."
-
-McDermott got a look at the war sooner than any one, including the high
-command of the Entente Allies, would have thought likely--or, rather,
-the war got a look at McDermott. The carload of mules, separated from
-its right and proper train, got too far eastward at just the time
-the Germans got too far westward. It was in April, 1918, that, having
-entered Hazebrouck from the north, McDermott and his mules left it
-again, bound eastward. They passed through a turmoil of guns and
-lorries, Scotchmen and ambulances, Englishmen, tanks and ammunition
-wagons, Irishmen, colonials and field kitchens, all moving slowly
-eastward, and came to a halt at a little village where they should not
-have been at all, halfway between the northern rim of the forest of
-Nieppe and Bailleul.
-
-The mules did not stay there long.
-
-"I'll stretch me legs a bit," said McDermott, climbing off the car
-and strolling toward a Grande Place surrounded by sixteenth-century
-architecture. And just then something passed over the Renaissance roofs
-with the scream of one of Dante's devils, struck McDermott's car of
-mules with a great noise and a burst of flame, and straightway created a
-situation in which there was neither car nor mules.
-
-For a minute it seemed to McDermott that possibly there was no
-McDermott, either. When McDermott regained consciousness of McDermott,
-he was sitting on the ground, and he sat there and felt of himself for
-many seconds before he spoke or rose. Great guns he had been hearing for
-hours, and a rattle and roll of small-arms fire had been getting nearer
-all that day; but it seemed to McDermott that there was something quite
-vicious and personal about the big shell that had separated him forever
-from his mules. Not that he had loved the mules, but he loved McDermott.
-
-"Mules," said he, still sitting on the ground, but trying to get his
-philosophy of life on to its legs again, "is here wan minute an' gawn
-the nixt. Mules is fickle an' untrustworthy animals. Here was thim
-mules, wigglin' their long ears and arsk-in' f'r Gawd's sake c'u'd they
-have a dhrink of wather, an' promisin' a lifelong friendship--but where
-is thim mules now?"
-
-He scratched his red head as he spoke, feeling-of an old scar under the
-thick thatch of hair. The wound had been made some years previously
-with a bung starter, and whenever McDermott was agitated he caressed it
-tenderly.
-
-He got up, turned about and regarded the extraordinary Grande Place.
-There had once been several pretty little shops about it, he could see,
-with pleasant courtyards, where the April sun was trying to bring green
-things into life again, but now some of these were in newly made and
-smoking ruins. The shell that had stricken McDermott's mules from the
-roster of existence had not been the only one to fall into the village
-recently.
-
-But it was neither old ruins nor new ruins that interested McDermott
-chiefly. It was the humanity that flowed through the Grande Place in a
-feeble trickle westward, and the humanity that stayed there.
-
-Women and old men went by with household treasures slung in bundles or
-pushed before them in carts and perambulators, and they were wearing
-their best clothes, as if they were going to some village fete, instead
-of into desolation and homelessness; the children whom they carried, or
-who straggled after them, were also in their holiday best. Here was an
-ancient peasant with a coop of skinny chickens on a barrow; there was a
-girl in a silk gown carrying something in a bed quilt; yonder was a boy
-of twelve on a bicycle, and two things were tied to the handlebars--a
-loaf of bread and a soldier's bayonet. Perhaps it had been his father's
-bayonet. Quietly they went westward; their lips were dumb and their
-faces showed their souls were dumb, too. A long time they had heard the
-battle growling to the eastward; and now the war was upon them. It was
-upon them, indeed; for as McDermott gazed, another shell struck full
-upon a bell-shaped tower that stood at the north side of the Grande
-Place and it leaped up in flames and fell in dust and ruin, all gone but
-one irregular point of masonry that still stuck out like a snaggle tooth
-from a trampled skull.
-
-These were the ones that were going, and almost the last of the
-dreary pageant disappeared as McDermott watched. But those who stayed
-astonished him even more by their strange actions and uncouth postures.
-
-"Don't tell me," mumbled McDermott, rubbing his scar, "that all thim
-sojers is aslape!"
-
-But asleep they were. To the east and to the north the world was one rip
-and rat-a-tat of rifle and machine-gun fire--how near, McDermott could
-not guess--and over the village whined and droned the shells, of
-great or lesser caliber; here was one gate to a hell of noise, and the
-buildings stirred and the budding vines in the courtyards moved and
-the dust itself was agitated with the breath and blast of far and near
-concussions; but yet the big open Place itself was held in the grip of a
-grotesque and incredible slumber.
-
-Sprawled in the gutters, collapsed across the doorsills, leaning against
-the walls, slept that portion of the British army; slept strangely,
-without snoring. In the middle of the Grande Place there was a young
-lieutenant bending forward across the wreck of a motor car; he had tried
-to pluck forth a basket from the tonneau and sleep had touched him with
-his fingers on the handle. And from the eastern fringes of the village
-there entered the square, as actors enter upon a stage, a group of
-a dozen men, with their arms linked together, swaying and dazed and
-stumbling. At first McDermott thought that wounded were being helped
-from the field. But these men were not wounded; they were walking in
-their sleep, and the group fell apart, as McDermott looked at them, and
-sank severally to the cobblestones. Scotchmen, Canadians, English, torn
-and battered remnants of many different commands, they had striven with
-their guns and bodies for more than a week to dam the vast, rising wave
-of the German attack--day melting into night and night burning into day
-again, till there was no such thing as time to them any longer; there
-were but two things in the world, battle and weariness, weariness and
-battle.
-
-McDermott moved across the square unchallenged. He had eaten and slept
-but little for two days himself, and he made instinctively for the open
-door of an empty inn, to search for food. In the doorway he stumbled
-across a lad who roused and spoke to him.
-
-"Jack," said the boy, looking at him with red eyes out of an old, worn
-face, "have you got the makin's?"
-
-He was in a ragged and muddied Canadian uniform, but McDermott guessed
-that he was an American.
-
-"I have that," said McDermott, producing papers and tobacco. But the boy
-had lapsed into slumber again. McDermott rolled the cigarette for him,
-placed it between his lips, waked him and lighted it for him.
-
-The boy took a puff or two, and then said dreamily: "And what the hell
-are you doin' here with them blue overalls on?"
-
-"I come to look at the war," said McDermott.
-
-The soldier glanced around the Grande Place, and a gleam of deviltry
-flashed through his utter exhaustion. "So you come to see the war, huh?
-Well, don't you wake it now. It's restin'. But if you'll take a chair
-and set down, I'll have it--called--for--you--in--in--in 'n 'our--or
-so------"
-
-His voice tailed off into sleep once more; he mangled the cigarette, the
-tobacco mingling with the scraggly beard about his drawn mouth; his head
-fell forward upon his chest. McDermott stepped past him into the Hotel
-Faucon, as the inn had called itself. He found no food, but he found
-liquor there.
-
-"Frinch booze," said McDermott, getting the cork out of a bottle of
-brandy and sniffing it; "but booze is booze!"
-
-And more booze is more booze, especially upon an empty stomach. It was
-after the fourth drink that McDermott pulled his chair up to one of the
-open windows of the inn and sat down, with the brandy beside him.
-
-"I'm neglictin' that war I come all this way to see," said McDermott.
-
-The Grande Place, still shaken by the tremendous and unceasing
-pulsations of battle, far and near, was beginning to wake up. A fresh,
-or, at least, a fresher, battalion was arriving over the spur line of
-railroad along which McDermott's mules had been so mistakenly shunted,
-and was moving eastward through the town to the firing line. The men
-whom McDermott had seen asleep were rising at the word of command;
-taking their weapons, falling in, and staggering back to the
-interminable battle once more.
-
-"I dunno," mused McDermott, as the tired men straggled past, "whether I
-want to be afther j'inin' that war or not. It makes all thim lads that
-slapey! I dunno phwat the devil it is, the Frinch booze bein' so close
-to me, inside, or that war so close to me, outside, but I'm gittin'
-slapey m'silf."
-
-It was, likely, the brandy. There had not been a great deal of French
-brandy in McDermott's previous experience, and he did not stint himself.
-It was somewhere between the ninth and the fifteenth swallows of it that
-McDermott remarked to himself, rubbing the scar on his head:
-
-"I w'u'd jine that war now, if I c'u'd be sure which way it had wint!"
-
-And then he slid gently out of his chair and went to sleep on the floor
-just inside the open window of the Hotel Faucon.
-
-The war crept closer and took another look at McDermott. As the warm
-golden afternoon waned, the British troops, fighting like fiends for
-every inch of ground, exacting a ghastly toll of lives from the Germans,
-were forced back into the eastern outskirts of the town. There, with
-rifle and machine gun, from walls, trees, courtyards, roofs and ruins,
-they held the advancing Germans for an hour. But they were pushed back
-again, doggedly establishing themselves in the houses of the Grande
-Place. Neither British nor Germans were dropping shells into that
-village now, each side fearful of damaging its own men.
-
-A British subaltern with a machine gun and two private soldiers entered
-the inn and were setting the gun up at McDermott's window when a
-German bullet struck the officer and he fell dead across the slumbering
-McDermott. Nevertheless, the gun was manned and fought for half an hour
-above McDermott, who stirred now and then, but did not waken. Just at
-dusk an Irish battalion struck the Germans on the right flank of their
-assaulting force, a half mile to the north of the village, rolled them
-back temporarily, and cleared the village of them. This counter attack
-took the firing line a good thousand yards eastward once more.
-
-McDermott roused, crawled from beneath the body of the British officer,
-and viewed it with surprise. "That war has been here ag'in an' me
-aslape," said McDermott. "I might jine that war if I c'u'd ketch up wid
-it--but 'tis here, 'tis there, 'tis gawn ag'in! An' how c'u'd I jine it
-wid no weapons, not even a good thick club to m' hands?"
-
-He foraged and found a piece of sausage that he had overlooked in his
-former search, ate it greedily and then stood in the doorway, listening
-to the sound of the firing. It was getting dark and northward toward
-Messines and Wytschaete and southward for more miles than he could guess
-the lightning of big guns flickered along the sky.
-
-"Anny way I w'u'd go," mused McDermott, "I w'u'd run into that war if I
-was thryin' to dodge ut. And anny wray I w'u'd go, I w'u'd miss that war
-if I was thryin' to come up wid ut. An' till I make up me mind which wan
-I want to do, here will I sthay."
-
-He opened another bottle of brandy, and drank and cogitated. Whether it
-was the cogitation or the drinks or the effect of the racket of war, his
-head began to ache dully. When McDermott's scar ached, it was his custom
-to take another drink. After a while there came a stage at which, if it
-still ached, he at least ceased to feel it aching any more.
-
-"The hotel here," he remarked, "is filled wid hospitality and midical
-tratement, and where bet-ther c'u'd I be?"
-
-And presently, once more, a deep sleep overtook him. A deeper, more
-profound sleep, indeed, than his former one. And this time the war came
-still nearer to McDermott.
-
-The British were driven back again and again occupied the town, the
-Germans in close pursuit. From house to house and from wall to wall
-the struggle went on, with grenade, rifle and bayonet. A German, with
-a Scotchman's steel in his chest, fell screaming, back through the open
-window, and his blood as he died soaked McDermott's feet. But McDermott
-slept. Full night came, thick and cloudy, and both sides sent up
-floating flares. The square was strewn with the bodies of the dead and
-the bodies of the maimed in increasing numbers; the wounded groaned and
-whimpered in the shadows of the trampled Place, crawling, if they still
-could crawl, to whatever bit of broken wall seemed to offer momentary
-shelter and praying for the stretcher bearers to be speedy. But still
-McDermott slept.
-
-At ten o'clock that night two Englishmen once more brought a machine gun
-into the Hotel Faucon; they worked the weapon for twenty minutes from
-the window within ten feet of which McDermott now lay with his brandy
-bottle beside him. Once McDermott stirred; he sat up sleepily on the
-floor and murmured: "An' where is that war now? Begad, an' I don't
-belave there is anny war!"
-
-And he rolled over and went to sleep again. The men with the machine gun
-did not notice him; they were too busy. A moment later one of them sank
-with a bullet through his heart. His comrade lasted a little longer, and
-then he, too, went down, a wound in his lungs. It took him some weary
-minutes to choke and bleed to death, there in that dark place, upon the
-floor, among the dead men and McDermott's brandy bottles and the heap
-of ammunition he had brought with him. Hist struggle did not wake
-McDermott.
-
-By midnight the British had been driven back until they held the houses
-at the west end of the town and the end of the spur railroad that came
-eastward from Hazebrouck. The Germans were in the eastern part of the
-village, and between was a "no man's land," of which the Grande Place
-was a part. What was left of the Hotel Faucon, with the sleeping
-McDermott in it, was toward the middle of the south side of the square.
-In the streets to the north and south of the Place patrols still clashed
-with grenade and bayonet and rifle, but the Germans attempted no further
-advance in any force after midnight. No doubt they were bringing up more
-men; no doubt, with the first morning light, they would move forward a
-regiment or two, possibly even a division, against the British who
-still clung stubbornly to the western side of the town. All the way from
-Wytschaete south to Givenchy the battle-line was broken up into many
-little bitter struggles of this sort, the British at every point facing
-great odds.
-
-When dawn came, there came with it a mist. And three men of a German
-patrol, creeping from house to house and ruin to ruin along the south
-side of that part of "no man's land" which was the Grande Place, entered
-the open door of the Hotel Faucon.
-
-One of them stepped upon McDermott's stomach, where he lay sleeping and
-dreaming of the war he had come to look at.
-
-McDermott, when he had been drinking, was often cross. And especially
-was he cross if, when sleeping off his liquor, some one purposely or
-inadvertently interfered with his rightful and legitimate rest. When
-this coarse and heavy-footed intruder set his boot, albeit unwittingly,
-upon McDermott's stomach, McDermott sat up with a bellow of rage,
-instinctively and instantaneously grabbed the leg attached to the boot,
-rose as burning rocks rise from a volcano, with the leg in his hands,
-upset the man attached to the leg, and jumped with two large feet
-accurately upon the back of that person's neck. Whereupon the Boche went
-to Valhalla. McDermott, though nearer fifty than forty years old, was a
-barroom fighter of wonderful speed and technique, and this instinctive
-and spontaneous maneuver was all one motion, just as it is all one
-motion when a cat in a cellar leaps over a sack of potatoes, lands upon
-a rat, and sinks her teeth into a vital spot. The second German and
-the third German hung back an instant toward the door, and then came
-on toward the moving shadow in the midst of shadows. For their own good
-they should have come on without hanging back that second; but perhaps
-their training, otherwise so efficient, did not include barroom tactics.
-Their hesitation gave McDermott just the time he needed, for when he
-faced them he had the first German's gun in his hands.
-
-"No war," said McDermott, "can come into me slapin' chamber and stand on
-me stomach like that, and expict me to take it peaceful!"
-
-With the words he fired the first German's rifle into the second
-German. The third German, to the rear of the second one, fired his gun
-simultaneously, but perhaps he was a hit flurried, for he also fired
-directly into the second German, and there was nothing the second German
-could do but die; which he did at once. McDermott leaped at the third
-German with his rifle clubbed just as the man pressed the trigger again.
-The bullet struck McDermott's rifle, splintered the butt of it and
-knocked it from his hands; but a second later McDermott's hands were on
-the barrel of the German's gun and the two of them were struggling for
-it.
-
-There is one defect in the German military system, observers say: the
-drill masters do not teach their men independent thinking; perhaps the
-drill-masters do not have the most promising material to work upon.
-At any rate, it occurred to McDermott to kick the third German in the
-stomach while the third German was still thinking of nothing else than
-trying to depress the gun to shoot or bayonet McDermott. Thought and
-kick were as well coordinated as if they had proceeded from one of
-McDermott's late mules.
-
-The Boche went to the floor of the Hotel Faucon with a groan. "Gott!" he
-said.
-
-"A stomach f'r a stomach," said Mc-Dermott, standing over him with the
-rifle. "Git up!"
-
-The German painfully arose.
-
-"Ye are me prisoner," said McDermott, "an' the furst wan I iver took.
-Hould up y'r hands! Hould thim up, I say! Not over y'r stomach, man, but
-over y'r head!"
-
-The Boche complied hurriedly.
-
-"I see ye understhand United States," said McDermott. "I was afraid ye
-might not, an' I w'u'd have to shoot ye."
-
-"_Kamerad!_" exclaimed the man.
-
-"Ye are no comrade av mine," said McDermott, peering at the man's face
-through the eery halflight of early morning, "an' comrade av mine ye
-niver was! I know ye well! Ye are Goostave Schmidt b' name, an' wanst ye
-tinded bar in a dive down b' the Brooklyn wather front!"
-
-The man stared at McDermott in silence for a long minute, and then
-recollection slowly came to him.
-
-"MagDermodd!" he said. "Batrick MagDermodd!"
-
-"The same," said McDermott.
-
-"_Gott sei dank!_" said the German. "I haf fallen into der hands of
-a friend." And with the beginning of a smile he started to lower his
-hands.
-
-"Put thim up!" cried McDermott. "Don't desave y'silf! Ye are no fri'nd
-av mine!"
-
-The smile faded, and something like a look of panic took its place on
-the German's face.
-
-"Th' last time I saw ye, ye was in bad company, f'r ye was alone," said
-McDermott. "An' I come over here lookin' f'r ye, an' I find ye in bad
-company ag'in!"
-
-"Looking?" said the German with quite sincere perplexity. "You gome here
-_looking_ for me?"
-
-The wonder on the man's face at this unpremeditated jest of his having
-crossed the Atlantic especially to look for Gustave Schmidt titillated
-McDermott's whole being. But he did not laugh, and he let the German
-wonder. "And phwy sh'u'd I not?" he said.
-
-The German thought intensely for a while. "Why _should_ you gome all der
-vay agross der Adlandic looking for _me?_" he said finally.
-
-"Ye have a short mimory," said McDermott. "Ye do not recollict the time
-ye hit me on the head wid a bung starter whin I was too soused to defind
-m'silf? The scar is there yet, bad luck to ye!"
-
-"But dot was nudding," said the German. "Dot bung-starder business was
-all a bart of der day's vork."
-
-"But ye cript up behint me," said McDermott; "an' me soused!"
-
-"But dot was der bractical vay to do it," said the German. "Dot was
-nuddings at all, dot bung-starder business. I haf forgodden it long
-ago!"
-
-"The McDermotts remimber thim compliments longer," said McDermott. "An'
-b' rights I sh'u'd give ye wan good clout wid this gun and be done wid
-ye. But I'm thinkin' I may be usin' ye otherwise."
-
-"You gome all der vay agross der Adlandic yoost because I hit you on der
-head mit a bung starder?" persisted the German, still wondering. "Dot,
-MagDermodd, I cannot belief--_Nein!_"
-
-"And ye tore up y'r citizenship papers and come all the way across
-the Atlantic just to jine this gang av murtherin' child-killers," said
-McDermott. "That I c'n belave! Yis!"
-
-"But I haf not dorn up my American cidizen papers--_Nein!_" exclaimed
-the German, earnestly. "Dose I haf kept. I gome across to fight for mein
-Faderland--dot vas orders. _Ja!_ But mein American cidizenship papers I
-haf kept, and ven der war is ofer I shall go back to Brooklyn and once
-more an American citizen be, undill der next war. _Ja!_ You haf not
-understood, but dot is der vay of it. _Ja!_"
-
-"Goostave," said McDermott, "ye have too many countries workin' f'r ye.
-But y'r takin' ordhers from m'silf now--do ye get that? C'n ye play that
-musical insthrumint there by the window?"
-
-"_Ja!_" said Gustave. "Dot gun I can vork. Dot is der Lewis machine gun.
-Id is not so good a gun as our machine gun, for our machine gun haf been
-a colossal sugcess, but id is a goot gun."
-
-"Ye been fightin' f'r the Kaiser f'r three or four years, Goostave,"
-said McDermott, menacing him with his rifle, "but this mornin' I'll be
-afther seein' that ye do a bit av work f'r thim citizenship papers, an',
-later, ye can go to hell, if ye like, an' naturalize y'rsilf in still a
-third country. Ye will shoot Germans wid that gun till I get the hang
-av the mechanism m'silf. And thin I will shoot Germans wid that gun. But
-furst, ye will give me that fancy tin soup-bowl ye're wearin'."
-
-Gustave handed over his helmet. McDermott put it on his red head.
-
-"I've been thinkin'," said McDermott, "will I jine this war, or will I
-not jine it. An' the only way ye c'n tell do ye like a thing or do ye
-not is to thry it wance. Wid y'r assistance, Goostave, I'll thry it this
-mornin', if anny more av it comes my way."
-
-More of it was coming his way. The Germans, tired of trifling with the
-small British force which held the village, had brought up the better
-part of a division during the night and were marshaling the troops for
-their favorite feat of arms, an overwhelming frontal attack _en masse_.
-The British had likewise received reinforcements, drawing from the north
-and from the south every man the hard-pressed lines could spare. But
-they were not many, perhaps some three thousand men in all, to resist
-the massed assault, with the railroad for its objective, which would
-surely come with dawn. If troops were needed in the village they were
-no less needed on the lines that flanked it. The little town, which
-had been the scene of so much desperate skirmishing the day before and
-during the first half of the night, was now about to become the ground
-of something like a battle.
-
-"There's a French division on the way," said the British colonel in
-command in the village to one of his captains. "If we can only hold them
-for an hour----"
-
-He did not finish the sentence. As he spoke the German bombardment,
-precedent to the infantry attack, began to comb the western fringes
-of the town and the railroad line behind, searching for the
-hurriedly-digged and shallow trenches, the improvised dugouts, the
-shell holes, the cellars and the embankments where the British lay. The
-British guns to the rear of the village made answer, and the uproar tore
-the mists of dawn to tatters. A shell fell short, into the middle of the
-Grande Place, and McDermott saw the broken motor car against which the
-sleeping lieutenant had leaned the day before vanish into nothingness;
-and then a house directly opposite the Hotel Faucon jumped into flame
-and was no more. Looking out across the back of the stooping Gustave at
-the window, McDermott muttered, "I dunno as I w'u'd want to jine that
-war." And then he bellowed in Gustave Schmidt's ear: "Cut loose! Cut
-loose wid y'rgun! Cut loose!"
-
-"I vill not!" shrieked Gustave. "Mein Gott! Dat is mein own regiment!"
-
-"Ye lie!" shouted McDermott. "Ye will!" He thrust a bit of bayonet into
-the fleshiest part of the German's back.
-
-"I vill! I vill!" cried Gustave.
-
-"Ye will that," said McDermott, "an' the less damned nonsinse I hear
-from ye about y'r own rigimint the betther f'r ye! Ye're undher me
-own ordhers till I c'n make up me mind about this war." The mists were
-rising. In the clearing daylight at the eastern end of the square, as if
-other clouds were moving forward with a solid front, appeared the first
-gray wave of the German infantry. Close packed, shoulder to shoulder,
-three deep, they came, almost filling the space from side to side of the
-Grande Place, moving across that open stretch against the British fire
-with a certain heavy-footed and heavy-brained contempt of everything
-before them. Ten steps, and the British machine guns and rifles caught
-them. The first wave, or half of it, went down in a long writhing
-windrow, across the east end of the square, and in the instant that he
-saw it squirm and toss before the trampling second wave swept over it
-and through it, the twisting gray-clad figures on the stones reminded
-McDermott of the heaps of heaving worms he used to see at the bottom of
-his bait-can when he went fishing as a boy.
-
-"Hold that nozzle lower, Goostave!" he yelled to his captive. "Spray
-thim! Spray thim! Ye're shootin' over their heads, ye lumberin'
-Dutchman, ye!"
-
-"_Gott!_" cried Gustave, as another jab of the bayonet urged him to his
-uncongenial task.
-
-And then McDermott made one of the few errors of his military career.
-Whether it was the French brandy he had drunk to excess the night
-before, or whether it was the old bung-starter wound on his head, which
-always throbbed and jumped when he became excited, his judgment deserted
-him for an instant. For one instant he forgot that there must be no
-instants free from the immediate occupation of guiding and directing
-Gustave.
-
-"Let me see if I can't work that gun m'self," he cried.
-
-As he relaxed his vigilance, pushing the German to one side, the Boche
-suddenly struck him upon the jaw. McDermott reeled and dropped his
-rifle; before he could recover himself, the German had it. The weapon
-swung upward in the air and--just then a shell burst outside the open
-window of the Hotel Faucon.
-
-Both men were flung from their feet by the concussion. For a moment
-everything was blank to McDermott. And then, stretching out his hand to
-rise, his fingers encountered something smooth and hard upon the floor.
-Automatically his grasp closed over it and he rose. At the same instant
-the German struggled to his feet, one hand behind his back, and the
-other extended, as if in entreaty.
-
-"_Kamerad_," he whined, and even as he whined he lurched nearer and
-flung at McDermott a jagged, broken bottle. McDermott ducked, and
-the dagger-like glass splintered on his helmet. And then McDermott
-struck--once. Once was enough. The Boche sank to the floor without a
-groan, lifeless. McDermott looked at him, and then, for the first time,
-looked at what he held in his own hand, the weighty thing which he had
-wielded so instinctively and with such ferocity. It was the bung starter
-of the Hotel Faucon.
-
-"Goostave niver knowed what hit him," said McDermott. And if there had
-been any one to hear, in all that din, a note of regret that Gustave
-never knew might have been remarked in his voice.
-
-McDermott turned his attention to the machine gun, which, with its
-tripod, had been knocked to the floor. He squatted, with his head below
-the level of the window sill, and looked it over.
-
-"'Tis not broken," he decided, after some moments of examination. "Did
-Goostave do it so? Or did he do it so?" He removed his helmet and rubbed
-the scar under his red hair reflectively. "If I was to make up me mind
-to jine that war," mused McDermott, "this same w'u'd be a handy thing to
-take wid me. It w'u'd that! Now, did that Goostave that used to be here
-pull this pretty little thingumajig so? Or did he pull it so? Ihaveut!
-He pulled it so! And thim ca'tridges, now--do they feed in so? Or do
-they feed in so? 'T w'u'd be a handy thing, now, f'r a man that had anny
-intintions av jinin' the war to know about all thim things!"
-
-And, patiently, McDermott studied the mechanism, while the red sunlight
-turned to yellow in the Grande Place outside, and the budding green
-vines withered along the broken walls, and the stones ran blood, and the
-Hotel Faucon began to fall to pieces about his ears. McDermott did not
-hurry; he felt that there was no need to hurry; he had not yet made up
-his mind whether he intended to participate in this war. By the time he
-had learned how to work that machine gun, and had used it on the Germans
-for a while, he thought, he might be vouchsafed some light on that
-particular subject. It was one of McDermott's fixed beliefs that he
-was an extremely cautious sort of man, though many of his acquaintances
-thought of him differently, and he told himself that he must not get too
-far into this war until he was sure that it was going to be congenial.
-So far, it promised well.
-
-And also, McDermott, as he puzzled over the machine gun, was not quite
-the normal McDermott. He was, rather, a supernormal McDermott. He had
-been awakened rudely from an alcoholic slumber and he had been rather
-busy ever since; so many things had taken place in his immediate
-neighborhood, and were still taking place, that he was not quite sure
-of their reality. As he sat on the floor and studied the weapon, he was
-actually, from moment to moment, more than half convinced that he was
-dreaming--he might awaken and find that that war had eluded him again.
-Perhaps he is scarcely to be chided for being in what is sometimes known
-as a state of mind.
-
-And while McDermott was looking at the machine gun, the British
-commander prayed, as a greater British commander before him had prayed
-one time, for assistance, only this one did not pray for night or
-Blucher as Wellington had done. Night was many hours beyond all
-hope and would probably bring its own hell when it came, and as for
-Prussians, there were too many Prussians now. His men would hold on;
-they had been holding on for epic days and unbelievable nights, and they
-would still hold while there was breath in their bodies, and when their
-bodies were breathless they would hold one minute more. But--God! For
-Foch's _poilus!_ There is a moment which is the ultimate moment; the
-spirit can drag the body until--until spirit and body are wrenched into
-two things. No longer. His men could die in their tracks; they were
-dying where they stood and crouched and lay, by dozens and by scores and
-by heroic hundreds--but when they were dead, who would bar the way to
-Hazebrouck, and beyond Hazebrouck, to the channel ports?
-
-That way was all but open now, if the enemy but realized it. Any moment
-they might discover it. A half-mile to the south of the village the line
-was so thinly held that one strong, quick thrust must make a gap. Let
-the enemy but fling a third of the troops he was pounding to pieces in
-the bloody streets of the town, in the torn fields that flanked it, and
-in the shambles of the Grande Place that was the center of this action,
-at that weak spot, and all was over. But with a fury mechanical,
-insensate, the Germans still came on in direct frontal attacks.
-
-The British had slain and slain and slain, firing into the gray masses
-until the water boiled in the jackets of the machine guns. Five attacks
-had broken down in the Grande Place itself--and now a sixth was forming.
-Should he still hold fast, the colonel asked himself, or should he
-retire, saving what machine guns he might, and flinging a desperate
-detachment southward in the attempt to make a stronger right flank? But
-to do that might be the very move that would awaken the Germans to their
-opportunity there. So long as they pounded, pounded at his center, he
-would take a toll of them, at least--but the moment was coming--
-
-"I have ut!" cried McDermott, and mounted his gun at the window.
-
-"It is time to retire," said the British colonel, and was about to give
-the order.
-
-"Right in their bloody backs," said McDermott to himself.
-
-And so it was. For the sixth advance of the German masses had carried
-them well into the Grande Place. McDermott, crouched at his window, cut
-loose with his gun at pointblank range as the first wave, five men deep,
-passed by him, splashing along the thick ranks from behind as one might
-sweep a garden hose down a row of vegetables. Taken thus in the rear,
-ambushed, with no knowledge of the strength of the attacking force
-behind them, the German shock troops swayed and staggered, faced about
-and fell and broke. For right into the milling herd of them, and
-into the second advancing wave, the British poured their bullets. The
-colonel, who had been about to order a retreat, ordered a charge,
-and before the stampeded remnant of the first two waves could recover
-themselves the British were on them with grenades and bayonets, flinging
-them back into the third wave, just advancing to their support, in a
-bleeding huddle of defeat.
-
-McDermott saw the beginning of that charge, and with his bung starter in
-his hand he rushed from the door to join it. But he did not see the
-end of it, nor did he see the _poilus_, as they came slouching into the
-village five minutes later to give the repulse weight and confirmation,
-redolent of onions and strange stews, but with their bayonets--those
-bayonets that are part of the men who wield them, living things,
-instinct with the beautiful, straight, keen soul of France herself.
-
-McDermott did not see them, for some more of the Hotel Faucon had fallen
-on him, crushing one of his ankles and giving him a clout on the head.
-
-"Whoever it was turned loose that machine gun from the inn window, did
-the trick," said the colonel, later. "It's hardly too much to say that
-he blocked the way to Hazebrouck--for the time, at least, if one man can
-be said to have done such a thing--what's that?"
-
-"That" was McDermott, who was being carried forth, unconscious, to an
-ambulance. It was his blue overalls that had occasioned the colonel's
-surprise. He was neither French nor British nor German; palpably he was
-a civilian, and a civilian who had no business there. And in his hand he
-clasped a bung starter. His fingers were closed over it so tightly that
-in the base hospital later they found difficulty in taking it away from
-him.
-
-Owing, no doubt, to the blow on his head, McDermott was unable to recall
-clearly anything that had taken place from the moment he had first
-fallen asleep under the influence of French brandy until he awakened in
-the hospital nearly four weeks later. During this period there had been
-several intervals of more open-eyed dreaming, succeeded by lapses into
-profound stupor; but even in these open-eyed intervals, McDermott
-had not been himself. It was during one of these intervals that a
-representative of the French Government bestowed the Croix de Guerre
-upon McDermott, for it had been learned that he was the man behind the
-machine gun that had turned the tide of combat.
-
-McDermott, his eyes open, but his mind in too much of a daze even to
-wonder what the ceremony was about, sat in a wheel chair, and in company
-with half a dozen other men selected for decoration, listened to a brief
-oration in very good French, which he could not have understood had he
-been normal. In answer he muttered in a low tone, rubbing his broken and
-bandaged head: "I think maybe I will jine that war, afther all!"
-
-The French officer assumed that McDermott had spoken some sort of
-compliment to France and kissed McDermott on both cheeks, in front
-of the hospital staff, several American reporters, and as much of the
-French army as qould be spared to do honor to the occasion. The _Croix
-de Guerre_ made no impression upon McDermott, but the kiss briefly
-arrested his wandering consciousness, and he cried out, starting up in
-his chair and menacing the officer: "Where is me bung starter?" Then he
-fainted.
-
-A good many thousands of people in France and England and America
-learned from the newspapers the story of the nondescript in the blue
-overalls, who had behaved so gallantly at the crucial moment of a
-crucial fight. But McDermott never did. He seldom read newspapers. No
-one had been able to learn his name, so the reporters had given him a
-name. They called him "Dennis." And it was "Dennis" who got the fame and
-glory. McDermott would not have identified himself with Dennis had he
-seen the newspapers. When he awakened from his long, broken stupor, with
-its intervals of dazed halfconsciousness, the first thing he did was to
-steal away from that hospital; he left without having heard of Dennis or
-of the decoration of Dennis.
-
-There was one thing that he had experienced that did live hazily and
-confusedly in his memory, however, although he could not fix it in its
-relationship to any other thing. And that was the fact that he had met
-Gustave Schmidt. Three or four months after he slipped away from the
-hospital--a period of unchronicled wanderings, during which he had tried
-unsuccessfully to enlist several times--he limped into a saloon on the
-Brooklyn water front and asked Tim O'Toole, the proprietor, for his
-usual. He had just got back to Brooklyn, and he carried his earthly
-possessions in a bundle wrapped in brown paper.
-
-"I hear Yordy Crowley isn't givin' his racket this year," said
-McDermott, laying his bundle on the bar and pouring out his drink.
-
-"He is not," said Tim. "He is in France helpin' out thim English."
-
-"Yordy will make a good sojer," said McDermott. "He is a good man of his
-fists."
-
-"The Irish is all good sojers," said Mr. O'Toole, sententiously. "There
-was that man Dinnis, now, that was in all av the papers."
-
-"I did not hear av him," said McDermott. "An' phwat did he do?"
-
-"He licked th' entire German army wan morn-in'," said O'Toole, "an'
-saved England, an' the Quane of France kissed him for it. 'Twas in all
-the papers. Or, maybe," said Mr. O'Toole, "it was the King av Belg'um
-kissed him for ut. Anny-way wan of thim foreign powers kissed him wid
-the whole world lookin' on."
-
-"An' phwat did this Dinnis do thin?" asked McDermott.
-
-"He attimpted to assault the person that kissed him," said O'Toole.
-"Maybe 'twas the King av Italy. 'Twas in all the papers at th' time.
-Some wan told me ye were in France y'rsilf, Paddy."
-
-"I was that," said McDermott. "I wint wid mules."
-
-"Did ye see annything av the war?"
-
-"I did not," said McDermott. "Divil a bit of ut, barrin' a lot o'
-racket an' a big roarin' divil av a stame-boiler thing that come bustin'
-through th' air an' took away the mules that was me passport. But I come
-near seein' some av ut, wan time."
-
-"An' how was it that ye come near it, an' missed it?" inquired Tim.
-
-"I wint to slape," said McDermott. "The war was slapin', an' I laid
-m'silf down b' the side av ut an' took a nap, too. Later, I woke up in
-the hospital, some wan havin' stipped on me whilst I was slapin', or
-somethin'. They was afther keep-in' me in th' hospital indefinite, an'
-I slipped away wan mornin', dodgin' the orderlies an' nurses, or I might
-have been there yet eatin' jelly an' gettin' me face washed f'r me. An'
-afther I got back here I thried to jine that war, but th' Amurrican Army
-w'u'd not have me."
-
-"And phwy not?"
-
-"Because av me fut."
-
-"And how did ye hurt y'r fut?"
-
-"Divil a bit do I know how," said McDermott. "I'm tellin' ye 'twas done
-whilst I was aslape. I remimber gettin' soused in wan av thim Frinch
-barrooms, an' I w'u'd think it was a mule stipped on me fut whin I was
-slapin' off me souse, excipt that thim mules was gone before I got me
-souse."
-
-"An' ye saw naught av the war?" Tim was distinctly disappointed.
-
-"But little of ut, but little of ut," said McDermott. "But, Timmy,--wan
-thing I did whilst I was in France."
-
-"An' phwat was that?"
-
-"I avened up an ould grudge," said McDermott. He put away a second
-drink, rolling it over his tongue with satisfaction. "Do ye mind that
-Goostave Schmidt that used to kape bar acrost the strate? Ye do! Do ye
-mind th' time he hit me wid th' bung starter? Ye do!"
-
-"Phwat thin?"
-
-"Well, thin," said McDermott, "I met up wid him ag'in in wan av thim
-Frinch barrooms. I do not remimber phwat he said to me nor phwat I said
-to him, for I was soused, Timmy. But wan word led to another, an' I give
-him as good as he sint, an' 'twas wid a bung starter, too. I brung it
-back wid me as a sooveneer av me travels in France."
-
-And, undoing his brown paper bundle, McDermott fished forth from among
-his change of socks and shirts and underwear the bung starter of the
-Hotel Faucon and laid it upon the bar for his friend's inspection.
-Something else in the bundle caught O'Toole's eye.
-
-"An' phwat is that thing ye have there?" asked Tim.
-
-"Divil a bit do I know phwat," said McDermott, picking the article up
-and tossing it carelessly upon the bar. "'Twas layin' by me cot in
-the hospital, along wid m' bung starter an' me clothes whin I come to
-m'silf, an' whin I made me sneak from that place I brung it along."
-
-It was the _Croix de Guerre_.
-
-
-
-
-V.--Looney the Mutt
-
-|Looney had but one object in life, one thought, one conscious motive
-of existence--to find Slim again. After he found Slim, things would be
-different, things would be better, somehow. Just how, Looney did not
-know.
-
-Looney did not know much, anyhow. Likely he would never have known much,
-in the most favorable circumstances. And the circumstances under which
-he had passed his life were scarcely conducive to mental growth. He
-could remember, vaguely, that he had not always been called Looney
-Hogan. There had been a time when he was called Kid Hogan. Something had
-happened inside his head one day, and then there had come a period of
-which he remembered nothing at all; after that, when he could remember
-again, he was not Kid any more, but Looney. Perhaps some one had hit him
-on the head. People were always hitting him, before he knew Slim. And
-now that Slim was gone, people were always hitting him again. When he
-was with Slim, Slim had not let people hit him--often. So he must find
-Slim again; Slim, who was the only God he had ever known.
-
-In the course of time he became known, in his own queer world, from
-Baltimore to Seattle, from Los Angeles to Boston, as Slim's Lost
-Mutt, or as Looney the Mutt. Looney did not resent being called a
-dog, particularly, but he never called himself "The Mutt"; he stuck to
-"Looney"; Slim had called him Looney, and Looney must, therefore, be
-right.
-
-The humors of Looney's world are not, uniformly, kindly humors. Giving
-Looney the Mutt a "bum steer" as to Slim's whereabouts was considered a
-legitimate jest.
-
-"Youse ain't seen Slim Matchett anywheres?" he would ask of hobo or
-wobbly, working stiff or yeggman, his faded pale-blue eyes peering from
-his weather-worn face with the same anxious intensity, the same eager
-hope, as if he had not asked the question ten thousand times before.
-
-And the other wanderer, if he were one that knew of Looney the Mutt and
-Looney's quest would answer, like as not:
-
-"Slimmy de Match? Uh-huh! I seen Slim last mont' in Chi. He's lookin'
-fer youse, Looney." One day the Burlington Crip, who lacked a hand, and
-who looked so mean that it was of common report that he had got sore at
-himself and bitten it off, varied the reply a bit by saying:
-
-"I seen Slim las' week, an' he says: 'Where t' hell's dat kid o' mine?
-Youse ain't seen nuttin' o' dat kid o' mine, has you, Crip? Dat kid o'
-mine give me de slip, Crip. He lammistered, and I ain't seen him since.
-If youse gets yer lamps on dat kid o' mine, Crip, give him a wallop on
-his mush fer me, an' tell him to come an' find me an' I'm gonna give him
-another one.'"
-
-Looney stared and wondered and grieved. It hurt him especially that Slim
-should think that he, Looney, had run away from Slim; he agonized anew
-that he could not tell Slim at once that such was not the truth. And he
-wondered and grieved at the change that must have taken place in Slim,
-who now promised him "a wallop on the mush." For Slim had never struck
-him. It was Slim who had always kept other people from striking him.
-It was Slim who had, upon occasion, struck other people to protect
-him--once, in a hangout among the lakeside sand dunes south of Chicago,
-Slim had knifed a man who had, by way of jovial byplay to enliven a dull
-afternoon, flung Looney into the fire.
-
-It never occurred to Looney to doubt, entirely, these bearers of
-misinformation. He was hunting Slim, and of course, he thought, Slim
-was hunting Looney. His nature was all credulity. Such mind as the boy
-possessed--he was somewhere in his twenties, but had the physique of
-a boy--was saturated with belief in Slim, with faith in Slim, and he
-thought that all the world must admire Slim. He did not see why any one
-should tell lies that might increase Slim's difficulties, or his own.
-
-There was a big red star he used to look at nights, when he slept in the
-open, and because it seemed to him bigger and better and more splendid
-than any of the other stars he took to calling it Slim's star. It was a
-cocky, confident-looking star; it looked as if it would know how to take
-care of itself, and Slim had been like that. It looked good-natured,
-too, and Slim had been that way. When Looney had rustled the scoffin's
-for Slim, Slim had always let him have some of the best chow--or almost
-always. And he used to talk to that star about Slim when he was alone.
-It seemed sympathetic. And although he believed the hoboes were telling
-him the truth when they said that they had seen Slim, it was apparent
-even to his intelligence that they had no real sympathy with his quest.
-
-Once he did find a certain sympathy, if no great understanding. He
-worked a week, one Spring, for a farmer in Indiana. The farmer wished
-to keep him, for that Summer at least, for Looney was docile, willing
-enough, and had a natural, unconscious tact with the work-horses. Looney
-was never afraid of animals, and they were never afraid of him. Dogs
-took to him, and the instant liking of dogs had often stood him in good
-stead in his profession.
-
-"Why won't you stay?" asked the farmer.
-
-"Slim's lookin' fer me, somewheres," said Looney. And he told the farmer
-about Slim. The farmer, having perceived Looney's mental twilight, and
-feeling kindly toward the creature, advanced an argument that he thought
-might hold him.
-
-"Slim is just as likely to find you if you stay in one place, as if you
-go travelin' all over the country," he said.
-
-"Huh-uh," said Looney. "He ain't, Mister. It's this way, Mister: every
-time I stop long any-, wheres, Slim, he passes me by."
-
-And then he continued, after a pause: "Slim, he was always good to me,
-Mister. I kinda want to be the one that finds Slim, instead of just
-stayin' still an' waitin' to be found."
-
-They were standing in the dusk by the barn, and the early stars were
-out. Looney told him about Slim's star.
-
-"I want to be the guy that does the findin'," went on Looney presently,
-"because I was the guy that done the losin'. One night they was five or
-six of us layin' under a lot of railroad ties we had propped up against
-a fence to keep the weather off, an' we figgered on hoppin' a train fer
-Chi that night. Well, the train comes along, but I'm asleep. See? The
-rest of t' gang gits into an empty in de dark, an' I don't wake up. I
-s'pose Slim he t'inks I'm wit' t' gang, but I don't wake up under them
-ties till mornin'. I went to Chi soon's I could, but I ain't never
-glommed him since, Mister. I didn't find him dere. An' dat's t' way I
-lost Slim, Mister."
-
-"Maybe," suggested the farmer, "he is dead."
-
-"Nit," said Looney. "He ain't dead. If Slim was croaked or anything, I'd
-be wised up to it. Look at that there star. Dat is Slim's star, like I
-told youse. If Slim had been bumped off, or anything, Mister, that star
-wouldn't be shinin' that way, Mister."
-
-And he went back to his own world--his world--which was a succession of
-freight and cattle cars, ruinous sheds and shelters in dubious suburbs
-near to railroad sidings, police stations, workhouses, jails, city
-missions, transient hangouts in bedraggled clumps of wood, improvised
-shacks, shared with others of his kind in vacant lots in sooty
-industrial towns, chance bivouacs amidst lumber piles and under dripping
-water tanks, lucky infrequent lodgings in slum hotels that used to
-charge fifteen cents for a bed and now charge a quarter, golden moments
-in vile barrooms and blind tigers, occasional orgies in quarries or
-gravel pits or abandoned tin-roofed tool houses, uneasy, loiterings
-and interrupted slumbers in urban parks and the squares or outskirts of
-villages. Sometimes he worked, as he had with the Indiana farmer, with
-the wheat harvesters of the Northwest, or the snow shovelers of the
-metropoli, or the fruit gatherers of California; but more often he
-loafed, and rustled grub and small coin from the charitably disposed.
-
-It all seemed the natural way of life to Looney. He could not remember
-anything else. He viewed the people of the world who did not live so,
-and whom he saw to be the majority, as strange, unaccountable beings
-whom he could never hope to understand; he vaguely perceived that they
-were stronger than he and his ever-hiking clan, and he knew that they
-might do unpleasant things to him with their laws and their courts
-and their strength, but he bore them no rancor, unlike many of his
-associates.
-
-He had no theories about work or idleness; he accepted either as it
-came; he had little conscious thought about anything, except finding
-Slim again. And one thing worried him: Slim, who was supposed to be
-looking for Looney, even as Looney was looking for Slim, left no mark.
-He was forever looking for it, searching for the traces of Slim's
-knife--a name, a date, a destination, a message bidding Looney to follow
-or to wait--on freight sheds and water tanks, and known and charted
-telegraph poles and the tool houses of construction gangs. But Slim,
-always just ahead of him, as he thought, continually returning and
-passing him, ever receding in the distance, left no mark, no wanderer's
-pateran, behind. Looney left his own marks everywhere, but, strangely
-enough, it seemed that Slim never saw them. Looney remembered that one
-time when he and Slim were together Slim had wished to meet and confer
-with the Burlington Crip, and had left word to that effect, penciled and
-carved and sown by the speech of the mouth, from the Barbary Coast to
-the Erie Basin. And the Burlington Crip, with his snaggle teeth and his
-stump where a hand had been, had joined them on the Brooklyn waterfront
-within two months. It had been simple, and Looney wondered why Slim
-omitted this easy method of communication. Perhaps Slim was using it and
-Looney was not finding the marks. He knew himself for stupid, and set
-his failure down to that, never to neglect on Slim's part. For Slim was
-Slim, and Slim could do no wrong.
-
-His habit of searching for some scratched or written word of Slim's
-became known to his whole section of the underworld, and furnished
-material for an elaboration of the standing jest at his expense. When
-ennui descended upon some chance gathering in one of the transient
-hangouts--caravanserai as familiar to the loose-foot, casual guests,
-from coast to coast, as was ever the Blackstone in Chicago or the
-Biltmore in New York to those who read this simple history--it was
-customary for some wag to say:
-
-"Looney, I seen a mark that looked like Slim's mark on a shed down in
-Alexandria, Virginny, right by where the Long Bridge starts over to
-Washington."
-
-And it might be that Looney would start at once, without a word, for
-Alexandria. Therein lay the cream of this subtle witticism, for its
-perpetrators--in Looney's swift departures.
-
-Or it might be that Looney would sit and ponder, his washed-out eyes
-interrogating the speaker in a puzzled fashion, but never doubting. And
-then the jester would say, perhaps: "Why don't you get a move onto you,
-Looney? You're gonna miss Slim again."
-
-And Looney would answer, perchance: "Slim, he ain't there now. The' was
-one of them wobblies' bump-off men sayin' he seen Slim in Tacoma two
-weeks ago, an' Slim was headin' this way. I'm gonna wait fer him a while
-longer."
-
-But he never waited long. He could never make himself. As he had told
-the Indiana farmer, he was afraid to wait long. It was the Burlington
-Crip who had made him afraid to do that. The Crip had told him one time:
-"Looney, Slim went through here last night, while youse was asleep over
-on that lumber pile. I forgets youse is lookin' fer him or I'd a tipped
-him off youse was here."
-
-Slim had been within a hundred yards of him, and he had been asleep and
-had never known! What would Slim think, if he knew that? So thereafter
-he was continually tortured by the fancy that Slim might be passing
-him in the night; or that Slim, while he himself was riding the rods
-underneath a railway car, might be on the blind baggage of that very
-train, and would hop off first and be missed again. From day to day he
-became more muddled and perplexed trying to decide whether it would be
-better to choose this route or that, whether it would be better to stop
-here a week, or go yonder with all possible speed. And from month to
-month he developed more and more the questing, peering, wavering manner
-of the lost dog that seeks its master.
-
-Looney was always welcome In the hang-outs of the wandering underworld.
-Not only was he a source of diversion, a convenient butt, but few could
-rustle grub so successfully. His meager frame and his wistfulness, his
-evident feebleness of intellect, drew alms from the solvent population,
-and Looney faithfully brought his takings to the hangouts and was
-dispatched again for more. Servant and butt he was to such lords as the
-Burlington Crip and the English Basher. But he did not mind so long as
-he was not physically maltreated--as he often was. The occasional
-crimes of his associates, the occasional connection of some of them with
-industrial warfare here and there, Looney sometimes participated in; but
-he never understood. If he were told to do so and so, for the most part
-he did it. If he were asked to do too much, or was beaten up for his
-stupidity, and he was always stupid, he quietly slunk away at his first
-opportunity.
-
-The English Basher was a red-faced savage with fists as hard and rough
-as tarred rope; and he conceived the idea that Looney should be his kid,
-and wait upon him, even as he had been Slim's kid. Looney, afraid of the
-man, for a time seemed to acquiesce. But the Basher had reckoned without
-Looney's faculty for blundering.
-
-He dispatched Looney one day, ostensibly to bum a handout, but in
-reality to get the lay of a certain house in a suburb near Cincinnati,
-which the Basher meditated cracking the next convenient night. Looney
-returned with the food but without the information. He had been willing
-enough, for he admired yeggmen and all their ways and works, and was
-withheld by no moral considerations from anything he was asked to do;
-but he had bungled. He had been in the kitchen, he had eaten his own
-scoffin's there, he had talked with the cook for twenty minutes, he had
-even brought up from the cellar a scuttle of coal for the kitchen range
-to save the cook's back, but he actually knew less about that house, its
-plan, its fastenings, its doors and basement windows than the Basher had
-been able to gather with a single stroke of the eye as he loitered down
-the street.
-
-"Cripes! Whadje chin about with the kitchen mechanic all dat time, you?"
-demanded the Basher.
-
-"She was stringin' me along," said Looney humbly, "an' I spilled to her
-about me an' Slim."
-
-"Slim! ------ -------- yer, I've a mind t' croak yer!" cried the Basher.
-
-And he nearly did it, knocking the boy down repeatedly, till finally
-Looney lay still upon the ground.
-
-"'S'elp me," said the Basher, "I've a mind to give yer m' boots! You
-get up an' beat it! An' if I ever gets my lamps onto you again I _will_
-croak you, by Gawd, an' no mistake!"
-
-Looney staggered to his feet and hobbled to a safe distance. And then,
-spitting out a broken tooth, he dared to mutter: "If Slimmy was here,
-he'd see de color o' youse insides, Slimmy would. Slimmy, he knifed a
-yegg oncet wot done less'n dat t'me!"
-
-It was only a week or two after he left the Basher that Looney's faith
-in Slim's star was tested again. Half a dozen of the brotherhood were
-gathered about a fire in a gravel pit in northern Illinois, swapping
-yarns and experiences and making merry. It was a tremendous fire, and
-lighted up the hollow as if it were the entrance to Gehenna, flinging
-the grotesque shadows of the men against the overhanging embankments,
-and causing the inhabitants of a village a mile or so away to wonder
-what farmer's haystack was aflame. The tramps were wasting five times
-the wood they needed, after their fashion. They had eaten to repletion,
-and they were wasting the left-over food from their evening gorge; they
-had booze; they were smoking; they felt, for the hour, at peace with the
-world.
-
-"Wot ever _did_ become of dat Slim?" asked the Burlington Crip, who
-happened to be of the party, looking speculatively at Looney. Even the
-sinister Crip, for the nonce, was not toting with him his usual mordant
-grouch.
-
-Looney was tending the fire, while he listened to tales of the spacious
-days of the great Johnny Yegg himself, and other Titans of the road who
-have now assumed the state of legendary heroes; and he was, as usual,
-saying nothing.
-
-"Slim? Slimmy t' Match wot Looney here's been tailin' after fer so
-long?" said the San Diego Kid. "Slim, he was bumped off in Paterson
-t'ree or four years ago."
-
-"He wasn't neither," spoke up Looney. "Tex, here, seen him in Chi last
-mont'."
-
-And, indeed, Tex had told Looney so. But now, thus directly appealed
-to, Tex answered nothing. And for the first time Looney began to get
-the vague suspicion that these, his friends, might have trifled with him
-before. Certainly they were serious now. He looked around the sprawled
-circle and sensed that their manner was somehow different from the
-attitude with which they had usually discussed his quest for Slim.
-
-"Bumped off?" said Tex. "How?"
-
-"A wobbly done it," said the San Diego Kid. "Slim, he was scabbin'.
-Strike-breakin'. And they was some wobblies there helpin' on the strike.
-See? An' this wobbly bumps Slim off."
-
-"He didn't neither," said Looney again.
-
-"T' hell he didn't? He said he did," said the San Diego Kid pacifically.
-"Is a guy gonna say he's bumped off a guy unless he's bumped him off?"
-
-Looney, somewhat shaken, withdrew from the group to seek comfort from
-the constellations; and particularly from that big, red star, the
-apparent king of stars, which he had come to think of as Slim's star,
-and vaguely, as Slim's mascot. It was brighter and redder than ever
-that night, Looney thought, and sitting on a discarded railroad tie and
-staring at the planet, Looney gradually recovered his faith.
-
-"He ain't neither been bumped off, Slim ain't," he muttered, "an' I'm
-gonna find him yet."
-
-And Slim had not been bumped off, however sincere the San Diego Kid may
-have been in his belief.
-
-It was some months later that Looney did find him in a little city in
-Pennsylvania--or found some one that looked like him.
-
-Looney had dropped from a freight train early in the morning, had
-rustled himself some grub, had eaten two good meals and had part of a
-day's sleep, and now, just as dark was coming on, and the street lamps
-were being lighted, was loafing aimlessly on the platform of the railway
-depot. He purposed to take a train south that night, when it became so
-dark that he could crawl into an empty in the yards without too much
-danger of being seen and he was merely putting in the time until full
-night came on.
-
-While he was standing idly so, an automobile drew up beside the station
-platform and an elegantly dressed and slender man of about thirty got
-out. He assisted from the car a woman and a small child, and they made
-toward the door of the waiting room.
-
-"Slim!" cried Looney, rushing forward.
-
-For this was Slim--it must be Slim--it was Slimmy the Match in every
-feature--and yet, the car!--the clothes--the woman--the baby--the
-prosperity----- _Was_ it Slim?
-
-"Slim!" cried Looney again, his heart leaping in his meager body. "It's
-me, Slim! It's Looney! I've got youse again, Slim! Gawd! I've found
-yuh!"
-
-The woman hastily snatched the child up into her arms, with a suppressed
-scream, and recoiled.
-
-The man made no sound, but he, too, drew back a step, not seeming to see
-Looney's outstretched hand.
-
-But he did see it--he saw more than that. He saw, as if they were
-flashed before him at lightning speed upon a cinema screen, a dozen
-scenes of a wild and reckless and indigent youth that he had thought was
-dead forever; he saw these roughneck years suddenly leap alive and
-stalk toward him again, toward him and his; he saw his later years of
-industry, his hard-won success, his position so strenuously battled for,
-his respectability that was become so dear to him, all his house of
-life so laboriously builded, crumbling before the touch of this torn and
-grotesque outcast that confronted and claimed him, this wavering,
-dusty lunatic whom he dimly remembered. If his wife knew--if her people
-knew--if the business men of this town were to know----
-
-He shuddered and turned sick, and then with a sudden recovery he took
-his child from its mother and guided her before him into the waiting
-room.
-
-Looney watched them enter, in silence. He stood dazed for a moment,
-and then he slowly turned and walked down the railroad track beyond the
-limits of the town. There, upon a spot of turf beside the right of
-way, he threw himself upon his face and sobbed and moaned, as a
-broken-hearted child sobs, as a dog moans upon its master's grave.
-
-But after a while he looked up. Slim's star was looking down at him, red
-and confident and heartening as ever. He gazed at it a long time, and
-then an idea took form in his ruined brain and he said aloud:
-
-"Now, dat wasn't _really_ Slim! I been lookin' fer Slim so long I t'ink
-I see Slim where he ain't! Dat was jus' some guy wot looks like Slimmy.
-Slimmy, he wouldn't never of gone back on an old pal like dat!"
-
-The rumble of an approaching train caught his ears. He got to his feet
-and prepared to board it.
-
-"Slim, he's waitin' fer me somewheres," he told the star. "I may be
-kinda looney about some t'ings, but I knows Slim, an' dey ain't no
-yellow streak nowheres in Slim!"
-
-And with unshaken loyalty Looney the Mutt boarded the train and set off
-upon his endless quest anew.
-
-
-
-
-VI--Kale
-
-|See that old fellow there?" asked Ed the waiter. "Well, his fad is
-money."
-
-The old fellow indicated--he must have been nearly eighty--sat eating
-corned beef and cabbage in a little booth in a certain delightful,
-greasy old chophouse in downtown New York. It was nearly time to close
-the chophouse for that day for it was almost eleven o'clock at night; it
-was nearly time to close the chophouse forever, for it was the middle of
-June, 1919. In a couple of weeks the wartime prohibition act would be in
-force, and Ed and I had been discussing what effect it would have upon
-our respective lives.
-
-There was no one else in the place at the time except the cashier and
-the old man whose fad was money, and so Ed had condescended toward me,
-as a faithful customer, and was sitting down to have a drink with me.
-
-"His fad is money?" I questioned, glancing at the old gentleman, who
-seemed to be nothing extraordinary as regards face or manner or attire.
-He had a long, bony New Englandish head and a short, white, well-trimmed
-beard; he was finishing his nowise delicate food with gusto. "I should
-say," I added, "that his fad was corned beef and cabbage."
-
-"That's one of his fads," admitted Ed the waiter, "and I don't know but
-that it's as strong in him as his money fad. At any rate, I've never
-seen him without one or the other was near him, and both in large
-quantities."
-
-We had been conversing in a mumble, so that our voices should not carry
-to the old gentleman. And now Ed dropped his voice still lower and
-whispered:
-
-"That's Old Man Singleton."
-
-I looked at him with a renewed interest. Every one knew who Old Man
-Singleton was, and many persons liked to guess how much he was worth.
-Ostensibly he had retired, leaving to his two sons the management of the
-Singleton banking business, with its many ramifications; but actually
-he kept his interest in the concern and was reputed to be coaching his
-grandsons in the ways of the world, and especially that part of the
-world known as "The Street."
-
-Starting out as a New England villager who hated poverty because his
-family had always known it, he had come to New York as a lad of twenty,
-with red knitted mittens on his osseous hands, and he had at once
-removed the mittens and put the hands to work gathering money; it was
-rumored that the hands had never turned loose any of the garnered coin;
-it was even said by some persons that he still had the same pair of
-mittens.
-
-The details of his rise I cannot give; he had achieved his ambition
-to be one of the very rich men of America because the ambition was so
-strong within him.
-
-"Of course his fad is money," I muttered to Ed the waiter. "Everybody
-knows that Old Man Singleton's fad is money."
-
-Ed was about to reply, when Mr. Singleton looked up and motioned for his
-check. Ed brought it, and gave the old gentleman his hat and his stick
-and his change.
-
-"I hope everything was all right," Mr. Singleton said Ed, palpably
-bidding for recognition and a tip.
-
-"Eh? said Singleton, looking blankly at Ed You know me, hey? I don't
-recall you. Yes, everything was all right, thank you." He gave the
-waiter a dime and passed out, after another blank, fumbling look at Ed,
-and a shake of his head. There was something feeble and wandering in the
-old fellow's manner; his memory was going; it was obvious that before
-long the rest of him would follow his memory. He shouldn't be allowed to
-go around this way alone at night," murmured Ed, watching the door
-through which he had made his exit. "But I suppose he's as bull-headed
-as ever about doing what he pleases, even if his legs are shaky."
-
-"He didn't know you," I hinted, for I wished to learn all that Ed knew
-about Old Man Singleton.
-
-Ed is a person who has been in the world nearly fifty years; he has had
-some very unusual acquaintances and experiences. It is never safe to
-predict just what Ed will know and what he will not know. One afternoon,
-after I had known Ed for about a year, I was attempting to argue some
-scientific point with a friend who was lunching with me, and Ed, who was
-waiting on us and listening, remarked: "I beg your pardon, sir, but it
-wasn't in _The Descent of Man_ that Darwin said that; it was in _The
-Origin of Species_."
-
-And yet, if you deduce from that remark that Ed knows a great deal about
-modern science, you will be mistaken; as likely as not he could quote
-pages of Marcus Aurelius to you, and at the same time he might pronounce
-"Euripides" as if the last two syllables were one, riming with "hides";
-his reading, like his life, has been elective.
-
-"He doesn't recall you," I repeated.
-
-"And that's ingratitude," said Ed, "if he only knew it. I saved the old
-man's life once."
-
-And Ed limped over to the table and resumed his seat opposite me. He
-has a bullet under one kneecap, and at times it makes him very lame. He
-would never tell me how it came there; to this day I do not know.
-
-"From what did you save his life?" I asked. "From a man," said Ed
-moodily. "From a man who had a notion to bean him one night. And to this
-day I ask myself: 'Did I do right, or did I do wrong?'"
-
-"Tell me about it," I insisted,
-
-"Drink up," said Ed, manipulating the Scotch bottle and the siphon of
-seltzer. "This is one of the last highballs you'll ever have, unless
-you sneak around and take it on the sly. I don't know that I should have
-another one myself; it settles in this damned knee of mine if I get a
-little too much."
-
-"Tell me when, where and how you knew Old Man Singleton," I demanded
-again.
-
-"This knee of mine," went on Ed, disregarding me, "is a hell of a
-handicap. We were talking about prohibition--what's prohibition going to
-do to me? Hey? It puts me out of a job in a barroom like this the first
-thing. And what else can I do? With this game leg, you can see me going
-on the stage as a Russian dancer, can't you? Or digging trenches to lay
-gas pipes in, or carrying a Hod? Huh? And I can't even get a job in a
-swell restaurant uptown; they don't want any gamelegged waiters sticking
-around, falling over the chairs. This was about the only kind of a joint
-and the only kind of a job I was fit for, this chop-house thing down
-here, and it's going to close in two weeks. What then? Be somebody's
-housemaid? I can't see it. I don't wish anybody any bad luck, but I
-hope the guy that put over this prohibition thing gets stiff in all his
-joints and lives forever."
-
-I sympathized and waited, and finally he began. "Old Man Singleton's
-fad," said Ed, "as I re marked before, is money. And as you remarked,
-another of his fads is corned beef and cabbage--especially cabbage. He
-will eat corned beef with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat pork
-with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat cabbage without either; it
-is the cabbage he likes--or kale. In fact, you could reduce his two fads
-to one, and say what he likes is kale--kale in the slang sense of money,
-and kale that is cabbage. And all his life he has been stuffing himself
-with kale.
-
-"His fad is kale that he can see and feel and handle and show and carry
-about with him. Not merely money in the bank and stocks and bonds and
-property and real estate, but actual cash. He likes to carry it with
-him, and he does carry it with him. I guess he likes the feel of it in
-his billfolder, and the thought that he has got it on him--on him, the
-poor boy that came out of New England with the red knitted mittens on
-that everybody has heard so much about. I can understand the way
-he feels about it; with a folder full of thousand-dollar and
-ten-thousand-dollar bills he feels safe, somehow; feels like he'll never
-have to go back to that little New England town and saw cordwood and
-shovel snow again.
-
-"He's got it on him now, that folder, and I'll bet you on it. That's
-what I meant when I said it wasn't safe for him to be trotting about
-this way after night. For if I know it, it stands to reason others know
-it, too.
-
-"What you want to know is, how I know it. Well, I was not always what I
-am now. Once I was quite a bird and wore dress suits and went to the
-Metropolitan Opera and listened to Caruso as he jumped his voice from
-peak to peak. Yes, sir, I know every darned acoustic in that place! They
-weren't my dress suits that I wore, but they fit me. Once I moved in the
-circles of the idle rich, though they didn't know it, and helped 'em
-spend the unearned increment they wrung from the toil of the downtrodden
-laboring man.
-
-"Once, to come down to brass tacks, I was a butler's companion. It is
-an office you won't find listed in the social directory, but it existed,
-for me at least. The butler in the case was a good friend of mine by the
-name of Larry Hodgkins, and being part Irish, he was an ideal English
-butler. Larry and his mother were in the employ of the Hergsheimers, a
-wealthy Jewish family--you know who they are if you read the financial
-pages or the Sunday supplements. Mrs. Hodgkins was the housekeeper and
-Larry was the butler, and when the Hergsheimers were traveling Larry and
-his mother stayed in the New York house as caretakers and kept things
-shipshape. And let me give you a tip, by the way: if you ever take a
-notion to quit the writing game and go into domestic service, plant
-yourself with a rich Hebrew family. They want things done right,
-but they are the most liberal people on earth, especially to Gentile
-servants.
-
-"This Hergsheimer was Jacob Hergsheimer, and he was in right socially in
-New York, as well as financially; he had put himself across into the
-big time socially because, if you ask me, he belonged there; all the
-Hergsheimers didn't get across, but this one did. His New York house is
-uptown, between the sixties and the eighties, east of the Park, and
-he wants it kept so he can drop into it with his family and a flock of
-servants at any hour of the day or night, from any part of the earth,
-without a minute's notice, and give a dinner party at once, if he feels
-like it, and he frequently feels like it.
-
-"It was Mrs. Hodgkins's and Larry's job to keep the fire from going
-out in the boilers, so to speak, and a head of steam on, so that the
-domestic ship could sail in any direction on receipt of orders by wire,
-wireless or telephone. They were permanent there, but Jake Hergsheimer
-and his family, as far as I could make out, never got more than an
-average of about three months' use a year out of that mansion.
-
-"This time I am speaking of was nearly ten years ago. I was a waiter in
-an uptown restaurant, and both my legs were good then; Larry and I
-were old pals. The Jake Hergsheimers were sailing around the world in a
-yacht, and would be at it for about a year, as far as Larry knew, and
-he asked me up to live with him. I accepted; and believe me, the eight
-months I put in as Jake Hergsheimer's guest were _some_ eight months.
-Not that Jake knew about it; but if he had known it, he wouldn't have
-cared. This Jake was a real human being.
-
-"And his clothes fit me; just as if I had been measured for them. He had
-what you might call an automatic tailor, Jake did. Every six weeks, rain
-or shine, that tailor delivered a new suit of clothes to the Hergsheimer
-house, and he sent in his bill once a year, so Larry the butler told me.
-Some people go away and forget to stop the milk; and when Jake sailed
-for the other side of the world he forgot to tell anybody to stop the
-tailor. Larry didn't feel as if it were any part of his duty to stop
-him; for Larry liked that tailor. He made Larry's clothes, too.
-
-"And I didn't see where it was up to me to protest. As I said, Jake's
-garments might have been made for me. In fact, a great many of them
-_were_ made for me. There were at least fifteen suits of clothes that
-had never been worn in that house, made to my measure and Jake's, when
-I became butler's companion in the establishment, and they kept right
-on coming. Also, there was a standing order for orchestra seats at the
-Metropolitan. Jake had a box every second Thursday, or something like
-that, but when he really wanted to hear the music and see the show he
-usually sat in the orchestra. Not only did his business suits fit me,
-but his dress clothes fit me, too.
-
-"I used to go often, with a lady's maid that had the same access to
-clothing as I did. She was part of a caretaking staff also. Being a
-writing person, you have, of course, only viewed New York's society and
-near-society from the outside, and no doubt you have been intimidated by
-the haughty manners of the servants. Well, when you get close to swells
-and really know them personally, you will find they are human, too.
-
-"A butler on duty is a swelled-up proposition, because he has to be that
-way. But take him as you find him among his peers, and he quits acting
-like the Duke of Westminster Abbey, and is real sociable. This Larry
-person, for instance, could distend himself like a poisoned pup and
-make a timid millionaire feel like the sleeves of his undershirt must be
-showing below his cuffs; but in our little select circle Larry was the
-life of the party.
-
-"Being, as I said before, an outsider, you likely don't realize how
-many of those big swell millionaires' cribs uptown are in the hands of
-caretakers like Larry and his mother and me the best part of the year.
-Well, they are; and there's a social life goes on in them that don't
-ever get into the papers. The parties we had that year in Jake's house
-would have done Jake himself good, if Jake could have got an invitation
-to them. But Jake was absent, though his cellar and his grocers were
-at our service; and he never questioned a bill, Larry said. There were
-twelve or fifteen hand-picked servants in our little social circle that
-year, and before I left there I could begin to understand how these
-debutantes feel at the end of the season--sort of tired and bored and
-willing to relax and go in for work and rest and athletics for a change.
-
-"I had only been butler's companion for a few weeks when Old Man
-Singleton dropped in one evening--yes, sir, Old Lemuel Singleton
-himself. He came to see the butler's mother, Mrs. Hodgkins. He had known
-her a good many years before, when he was wearing those red mittens and
-sawing wood up in that New England town and she was somebody's Irish
-cook. And he had run across her again, after he became a millionaire,
-down here in New York City. He was tickled to see her, and he didn't
-care a darn if she was Jake Hergsheimer's housekeeper. She could cook
-cabbage and kale better than any one else in the world, and he used to
-come and sit with her, and talk about that little old town up there, and
-indulge in his favorite dissipation.
-
-"Old Man Singleton has had what you call the social entree in New York
-for a good many years; for so long that some of his children, and
-all his grandchildren, were born with it. But he never took it very
-seriously himself. He has been an in-and-outer, you might say. If he saw
-Mrs. Hodgkins around Jake's house, he would call her Mary and ask her
-how folks were up home in front of Jake and his wife and a whole bunch
-of guests, just as soon as not.
-
-"And his sons and his daughters and his grandchildren never could get
-him out of those ways; he always was bull-headed about doing what he
-pleased, so Mrs. Hodgkins told me, and he always will be. And the old
-lady liked to see him and chin with him and cook for him; and believe
-me, she was some cook when she set herself to it. Not merely kale, but
-everything. She didn't cook for the Hergsheimers--they had a chef for
-that--but they missed it by not having her. Victuals was old Mary's
-middle name, and she could rustle up some of the best grub you ever
-threw your lip over.
-
-"At first, Old Man Singleton and Mrs. Hodgkins didn't mix much with
-us younger folks when we pulled a party. It wasn't that we were too
-aristocratic for them, for off duty, as I said before, butlers and other
-swells can be as easy and jolly as common people. But they seemed too
-antiquated, if you get me; they were living too much in the past.
-
-"And then, one night, I discovered what Old Man Singleton's fad
-was--kale. Money. Big money. Big money on his person. It was this way:
-Larry and I wanted to go downtown and have a little fun, but neither
-of us had any cash in hand. Larry had a check for one hundred and fifty
-dollars which Jake Hergsheimer had sent him, but all the tradesmen we
-knew were closed at that hour, and there wasn't any way to cash it,
-unless Old Man Singleton could.
-
-"'Mr. Singleton,' says Larry to the old man, who was sitting down to a
-mess of pork and kale with Mrs. Hodgkins, 'maybe you can cash this for
-me.' And he handed him the check.
-
-"The old man stopped eating and put his glasses on and pulled a
-billfolder out of his pocket, with a kind of pleased smile on his face.
-
-"'Let me see,' he says, taking out the bills, and running them over with
-his fingers; 'let me see.'
-
-"I nearly dropped dead. There wasn't a bill in there of lower
-denomination than one thousand dollars; and most of them were
-ten-thousand-dol-lar bills.
-
-"'No, Larry,' says the old man, 'I'm afraid I can't, afraid I
-can't--haven't got the change.'
-
-"And while we stood there and looked, he smoothed and patted those
-bills, and folded and refolded them, and then put them back into his
-pocket, and patted the pocket.
-
-"'Mary,' he says to the old woman with a grin, 'that's quite a lot of
-money for little Lem Singleton to be carrying around in his pocket,
-isn't it?' "'It is that, Lemuel,' said the old lady, 'and I should think
-you'd be afraid of leaving it out of the bank.'
-
-"'Well, Mary,' says the old man, 'I kind o' like to have it around me
-all the time--uh--huh! a little bit where I can put my hands on it, all
-the time. I used to carry gold; but I gave that up; it's too heavy, for
-what it's worth. But I like it, Mary; I used to look at that gold and
-say to myself, "Well, there's one thing you got, Lem Singleton, they
-never thought you'd get when you left home! And they aren't going to
-take it away from you, either!" It was a long time before I could make
-paper seem as real to me as gold. But it does now.'
-
-"And what does the old bird do but take it out of his pocket again and
-crinkle it through his fingers and smooth it out again and pet it and do
-everything but kiss it. Larry and I stood looking at him with our eyes
-sticking out, and he looked at us and laughed. It came to me all of a
-sudden that he liked to come where we servants were because he could
-pull that kind of thing in front of us, but that he was sort of lost
-among the swell-society bunch because he didn't dare pull it there and
-didn't feel so rich among them.
-
-"'My God, Larry,' I said, when we were outside the house, 'did you
-notice how much kale the old man had there?'
-
-"'Uh-huh,' said Larry. 'Mother always cooks a lot for him.'
-
-"'Wake up, Stupid,' I said. 'I don't mean cabbage. I mean money. There
-must have been nearly two hundred thousand dollars in that roll!'
-
-"'He always has around one hundred thousand dollars on him, at least,'
-says Larry. 'And I've seen him flash as high as a quarter of a million.'
-
-"'Well,' I says, 'something ought to be done about it.'
-
-"'What do you mean, Ed?' says he.
-
-"'Oh, nothing,' I said.
-
-"We walked over to get the L train downtown, saying nothing, and then
-finally Larry remarked: "'Electricity is a great thing, Ed.'
-
-"'I never said it wasn't,' says I.
-
-"'It's a great thing,' says Larry, 'but when you sit on it, sit on
-it right. For instance, I'd a darned sight rather sit in one of these
-electric trains than in that electric chair up at Sing Sing.'
-
-"'Who said anything about an electric chair?' I asked him.
-
-"'Nobody said anything,' says Larry, 'but you're thinking so darned loud
-I can get you.'
-
-"'Piffle, peanuts and petrification,' I said. 'Take care of your own
-thoughts, and I'll skim the fat off of mine myself.'
-
-"Well, as I said, after that we got better acquainted, the old man and
-I. I paid more attention to him. He interested me more. I've always
-been interested in science of all kinds, and the year I spent in Jake
-Hergsheimer's house I cut the leaves of a lot of books in his library
-and gave them the once over. I was always interested in psychology, even
-before the word got to be a headliner in the Sunday supplements, and I
-took a good deal of pleasure that winter trying to get inside of Old
-Man Singleton's mind. I must say, I never got very far in, at that. My
-general conclusion at the end is what it was at the beginning--his fad
-is kale.
-
-"And he loved to show it, you could see that. Not that he pulled it
-every time he happened to be at one of our parties. Often he would drop
-in that winter from some swell social event at one of the big houses
-uptown, where he had been a guest, and eat some of old Mary's chow, and
-never intimate by word or look that he had all that kale on him. And
-then again he'd come among us, diked out in the soup and fish, and flash
-the roll, for no other reason that I know except he enjoyed seeing us
-get the blind staggers, which we always did. And then he'd fuss with it
-and pet it and go into a dream over it, and wake up again and grin and
-talk about life with old Mary. And they agreed about life; you never
-heard two more moral persons exchange views. It was sometimes as good as
-a Sunday-school to listen to them for half an hour.
-
-"One night, when they had been gassing for a while, they sort of got my
-goat, and I said to him:
-
-"'Mr. Singleton, does it ever strike you as a little peculiar that you
-should have so much money and so many other people, such as myself, none
-at all?'
-
-"'No, Ed,' he says. 'No, it doesn't. That's the Lord's way, Ed! Money is
-given as a sacred trust by the Lord to them that are best fitted to have
-and to hold.'
-
-"'Meaning,' I asked him, 'that if you were ever to let loose of any of
-it, it might work harm in the world?'
-
-"He chewed over that for quite a while, as if he saw something personal
-in it, and he gave me a ten-dollar bill for a Christmas present. He
-isn't as stingy as some people say he is; he just looks so stingy that
-if he was the most liberal man on earth he would get the reputation of
-being stingy.
-
-"The lady's maid that I used to go to the opera with quit me a little
-while after Christmas. She and I were walking around the promenade
-between the acts one night at the Metropolitan and Larry was with
-us, when a fellow stopped Larry and spoke to him. I could see the guy
-looking at the girl and me as he and Larry talked. Later, Larry told me
-that it was one of Jake Hergsheimer's friends, and he had been a little
-bit surprised to see Larry at the opera all diked out, and he had wanted
-to know who the girl was.
-
-"Well, anyhow, she never went to the opera with me after that; but a few
-weeks later I saw her at a cabaret with Jake's friend. It was a grief to
-me; but I got into some real trouble, or let it get into me, about
-the same time, and that helped take the sting off. I had once been
-married--but there's no use going into all that. Anyhow, when the
-marriage kind o' wore off, my own folks took my wife's side of the case
-and she went to live with them. My old dad was sick, and they needed
-money, and my wife wrote to me that she was willing to let bygones be
-bygones and accept some money from me, and that my parents felt the same
-way, and there was a kid, too, that my folks were bringing up.
-
-"Well, I was desperate for some way to get hold of some cash and send
-to them. In the end, I took one of Jake Hergsheimer's silver vases and
-hocked it and sent the money, and got it out of hock two or three months
-later; but in the meantime there was a spell when I was so hard pressed
-it looked to me like I would actually have to do something dishonest to
-get that money.
-
-"One night, before Jake Hergsheimer came to my rescue and lent me that
-silver vase, if you want to call it that, I was sitting alone in the
-house thinking what a failure in life I was, and how rotten it was to
-have a wife and kid and parents all set against me, and drinking some of
-Jake's good booze, and getting more and more low in my mind, when there
-came a ring at the front doorbell. The butler was out, and old Mary was
-asleep way up in the top of the house, at the back, and wouldn't hear.
-
-"'I'll bet,' I said to myself, 'that's Old Man Singleton nosing around
-for his cabbage.' And I made up my mind I wouldn't let him in--he could
-ring till he froze to death on the front steps, and I wouldn't. It was
-a blustery, snowy January night, with new snow over the old ice
-underneath, and I says to myself, 'It's a wonder the old coot don't slip
-down and bust some of those big New England bones of his. And I wouldn't
-care much if he did.'
-
-"But he kept on ringing, and finally I thought I'd better go and let him
-in. I didn't have any ulterior notions when I went up the stairs from
-the servants' dining room and made for the front door. But the minute I
-clapped eyes on him I thought of all that kale in his pocket.
-
-"I opened the front door, but outside of that was an iron grille. It had
-a number of fastenings, but the final one was a short, heavy iron bar
-that lay in two sockets, one on each side of the opening.
-
-"I lifted the bar and swung the grille open.
-
-"'Ha! Hum!' said he, and sneezed. 'It's you, Ed, is it?'
-
-"And, snuffing and sneezing, he passed in front of me.
-
-"And as he passed by me that bar said something to my hand. And the hand
-raised up. It wasn't any of my doings, it was all the hand and the bar.
-It raised up, that bar did, right behind the old man's head. He stopped
-just outside the front door and flapped his big bony feet on a rug
-that was there, to get the snow off his shoes, and while he flapped and
-sneezed that bar was right over the old man's brain-box.
-
-"'Well,' I said to myself, 'here is your chance to be an honest man and
-a prosperous man, reunited with your wife and your kid and your folks
-at home, and not have to borrow anything from Jake Hergsheimer's
-collection--just one little tap on the old man's head, and down he goes,
-and he's got anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred and fifty
-thousand dollars in his clothes.'
-
-"'Yes,' said myself to me, 'one little tap, and maybe you kill him. What
-then? The electric chair, huh?'
-
-"'Hell!' I said to myself. 'Take a chance! The old man has so much money
-that what he has in his pocket means nothing to him one way or another.
-Larry's gone till morning, and the old woman won't wake for a long time.
-It means a little bit of a headache for Old Lemuel here, and it means
-your chance to lead an honest life hereafter and be a useful citizen and
-take care of those you have been neglecting.'
-
-"'Yes,' said myself to me, 'it's more moral to do it, and make your life
-over, but you never have been one for morality in the past. Besides,
-you'd kill him.'
-
-"And I might have killed him, boss. I wasn't sure of it then, but I've
-been sure of it since then. I was that strung up that I would have hit
-too hard.
-
-"And yet, I might _not_ have done so! I might have hit him just enough
-to put him out and make my get-away, and I might have led an honest life
-since then.
-
-"But at the moment I couldn't do it. I saw, all of a sudden, something
-funny. I saw the old man stamping his feet and getting the snow off, and
-I thought of him as a dead man, and I says to myself: 'How damned funny
-for a dead man to stamp the snow off his feet!' And I laughed.
-
-"'Heh? Heh? What did you say, Ed?' says the old man, and turns around.
-
-"I dropped the iron bar to my side, and that dead man came up out of the
-grave.
-
-"'Nothing, Mr. Singleton,' I said. 'I was just going to say, go on in,
-and I'll get a brush and clean the snow off of you.'
-
-"I said I saved his life from a man one time. Well, I was the man I
-saved his life from.
-
-"He went on in, and I barred the grille and locked the door, and we went
-on down to the dining room. I was shaking, and still I wasn't easy in my
-mind. I told him there wasn't anybody home but me, and he said he'd take
-a drop of Jake's brandy. And while I was opening a bottle of it for him,
-what does he do but pull out that billfolder.
-
-"'For God's sake, Mr. Singleton,' I said, turning weak and sitting down
-in a chair all of a sudden, 'put that money up.'
-
-"He sat there and sipped his brandy and talked, but I didn't hear what
-he was saying. I just looked at him, and kept saying to myself, should I
-have done it? Or should I have let him go by?
-
-"Boss, that was nearly ten years ago, and I've been asking myself that
-question from time to time ever since. Should I have done it? Was it
-moral to refuse that chance to make my life over again? You know me,
-kid. You know some of me, at least. You know I don't hold much by
-morals. If I was to tell you how I got that bullet under my kneecap,
-you'd know me better than _you_ do. If I had hit him just right and made
-my get-away, I would have led a different life.
-
-"And I wouldn't now be 'waiting for my death sentence. For that's
-practically what this prohibition thing means to me. I can't work at
-anything but this. And this is through with. And I'm through with. I'm a
-bum from now on. There's no use kidding myself; I'm a bum.
-
-"And yet, often, I'm glad I didn't do it."
-
-Ed brooded in silence for a while.
-
-And then I said, "It's strange he didn't know you."
-
-"It's been ten years," said Ed, "and you saw that the old man's got
-to the doddering stage. He likely wouldn't know his own children if he
-didn't see them every day or two."
-
-"I suppose," I said, "that the old man feels he is ending his days in a
-very satisfactory manner--the national prohibition thing triumphant, and
-all that."
-
-"How do you mean?" asked Ed.
-
-"Don't you know?" I said. "Why, Old Man Singleton, it is said, helped
-to finance the fight, and used his money and his influence on other big
-money all over the country in getting next to doubtful politicians and
-putting the thing through the state legislatures. I don't mean there
-was anything crooked about it anywhere, but he was one of the bunch that
-represented organized power, and put the stunt across while the liquor
-interests were still saying national prohibition could never come."
-
-"The hell he did!" said Ed. "I didn't know he was mixed up with it. I
-never saw him take a drink, now that I remember, except the brandy on
-the night I saved his life."
-
-"Old Man Singleton," I said, "is credited with having had more to do
-with it than any other one person, by those who are on the inside."
-
-"The old coot!" said Ed. And then added wryly: "I hope he gets as stiff
-in his knee joint as I am and lives forever! He's made a bum of me!"
-
-It was three or four weeks after my talk with Ed that I read in the
-papers of a peculiar accident of which Old Man Singleton had been the
-victim. A head of cabbage, he said, had fallen out of a tree and hit him
-on his own head one evening as he was walking alone in Central Park. He
-had been dazed by the blow for a moment; and when he regained his feet
-a considerable sum of money which he had been carrying was gone. He was
-sure that he had been struck by a head of cabbage, for a head of cabbage
-lay on the pathway near him when he was helped to his feet. He did not
-pretend to be able to say how a head of cabbage could have gotten into
-one of the park trees.
-
-The police discredited his story, pointing out that likely the old
-man, who was near-sighted, had blundered against a tree in the dusk and
-struck his head. The head of cabbage, they told the reporters, could
-have had nothing to do with it; it could not have come into contact with
-his head at all, unless, indeed, some one had put it into a sack and
-swung it on him like a bludgeon; and this, the police said, was too
-absurd to be considered. For why should a crook use a head of cabbage,
-when the same results might have been attained with the more usual
-blackjack, stick or fist?
-
-Old Man Singleton was not badly hurt; and as regarded the loss of the
-money, he never said, nor did his family ever say, just how large the
-sum was. Mr. Singleton had the vague impression that after the cabbage
-fell out of the tree and hit him he had been helped to his feet by a man
-who limped and who said to him: "Kale is given to them that can best use
-it, to have and to hold."
-
-He did not accuse this person, who disappeared before he was thoroughly
-himself again, of having found the money which had evidently dropped
-from his pocket when the cabbage fell from the tree and hit him, but
-he was suspicious, and he thought the police were taking the matter too
-lightly; he criticized the police in an interview given to the papers.
-The police pointed out the irrelevance of the alleged words of the
-alleged person who limped, and intimated that Mr. Singleton was
-irrational and should be kept at home evenings; as far as they were
-concerned, the incident was closed.
-
-But I got another slant at it, as Ed might have said. Last winter I was
-talking at my club with a friend just back from Cuba, where the rum is
-red and joy is unconfined.
-
-"I met a friend of yours," he said, "by the name of Ed down there, who
-is running a barroom and seems to be quite a sport in his way. Sent his
-regards to you. Must have made it pay--seems to have all kinds of money.
-Named his barroom 'The Second Thought.' Asked him why. He said nobody
-knew but himself, and he was keeping it a secret--though you might
-guess. Wants you to come down. Sent you a message. Let's see: what was
-it? Oh, yes! Cryptic! Very cryptic! Wrote it down--here it is: '_Kale!
-Kale! The gang's all here_.' Make anything out of it? I can't."
-
-I could, though I didn't tell him what. But I shall not visit Ed in
-Cuba; I consider him an immoral person.
-
-
-
-
-VII--Bubbles
-
-
-I
-
-|Tommy Hawkins was not so sober that you could tell it on him. Certainly
-his friend Jack Dobson, calling on him one dreary winter evening--an
-evening of that winter before John Barleycorn cried maudlin tears into
-his glass and kissed America good-by--would never have guessed it from
-Tommy's occupation. Presenting himself at Tommy's door and finding it
-unlocked, Jack had gone on in. A languid splashing guided him to the
-bathroom. In the tub sat Tommy with the water up to his shoulders,
-blowing soap bubbles.
-
-"You darned old fool!" said Jack. "Aren't you ever going to grow up,
-Tommy?"
-
-"Nope," said Tommy placidly. "What for?" Sitting on a chair close by
-the bathtub was a shallow silver dish with a cake of soap and some
-reddish-colored suds in it. Tommy had bought the dish to give some one
-for a wedding present, and then had forgotten to send it.
-
-"What makes the suds red?" asked Jack.
-
-"I poured a lot of that nose-and-throat spray stuff into it," explained
-Tommy. "It makes them prettier. Look!"
-
-As a pipe he was using a piece of hollow brass curtain rod six or eight
-inches long and of about the diameter of a fat lead pencil. He soused
-this thing in the reddish suds and manufactured a bubble with elaborate
-care. With a graceful gesture of his wet arm he gently waved the rod
-until the bubble detached itself. It floated in the air for a moment,
-and the thin, reddish integument caught the light from the electric
-globe and gave forth a brief answering flash as of fire. Then the bubble
-suddenly and whimsically dashed itself against the wall and was no more,
-leaving a faint, damp, reddish trace upon the white plaster.
-
-"Air current caught it," elucidated Tommy with the air of a circus
-proprietor showing off pet elephants. In his most facetious moments
-Tommy was wont to hide his childish soul beneath an exterior of serious
-dignity. "This old dump is full of air currents. They come in round
-the windows, come in round the doors, come right in through the
-walls. Damned annoying, too, for a scientist making experiments with
-bubbles--starts a bubble and never knows which way it's going to jump.
-I'm gonna complain to the management of this hotel."
-
-"You're going to come out of that bathtub and get into your duds," said
-Jack. "That water's getting cool now, and between cold water and air
-currents you'll have pneumonia the first thing you know--you poor silly
-fish, you."
-
-"Speaking of fish," said Tommy elliptically, "there's a bottle of
-cocktails on the mantel in the room there. Forgot it for a moment. Don't
-want to be inhospitable, but don't drink all of it."
-
-"It's all gone," said Dobson a moment later.
-
-"So?" said Tommy in surprise. "That's the way with cocktails. Here
-one minute and gone the next--like bubbles. Bubbles! Life's like that,
-Jack!" He made another bubble with great solemnity, watched it float and
-dart and burst. "Pouf!" he said. "Bubbles! Bubbles! Life's like that!"
-
-"You're an original philosopher, you are," said Jack, seizing him by the
-shoulders. "You're about as original as a valentine. Douse yourself
-with cold water and rub yourself down and dress. Come out of it, kid, or
-you'll be sick."
-
-"If I get sick," said Tommy, obeying, nevertheless, "I won't have to go
-to work to-morrow."
-
-"Why aren't you working to-day?" asked his friend, working on him with a
-coarse towel.
-
-"Day off," said Tommy.
-
-"Day off!" rejoined Dobson. "Since when has the _Morning Despatch_
-been giving two days off a week to its reporters? You had your day off
-Tuesday, and this is Thursday."
-
-"Is it?" said Tommy. "I always get Tuesday and Thursday mixed. Both
-begin with a T. Hey, Jack, how's that? Both begin with a T! End with a
-tea party! Good line, hey, Jack? Tuesday and Thursday both begin with
-a T and end with a tea party. I'm gonna write a play round that, Jack.
-Broadway success! Letters a foot high! Royalties for both of us! I won't
-forget you, Jack! You suggested the idea for the plot, Jack. Drag you
-out in front of the curtain with me when I make my speech. 'Author!
-Author!' yells the crowd. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'here is the
-obscure and humble person who set in motion the train of thought that
-led to my writing this masterpiece. Such as he is, I introduce him to
-you.'"
-
-"Shut up!" said Jack, and continued to lacerate Tommy's hide with the
-rough towel. "Hold still! Now go and get into your clothes." And as
-Tommy began to dress he regarded that person darkly. "You're a brilliant
-wag, you are! It's a shame the way the copy readers down on the
-_Despatch_ keep your best things out of print, you splattering
-supermudhen of journalism, you! You'll wake up some morning without any
-more job than a kaiser." And as Tommy threaded himself into the mystic
-maze of his garments Mr. Dobson continued to look at him and mutter
-disgustedly, "Bubbles!"
-
-Not that he was afraid that Tommy would actually lose his job. If it had
-been possible for Tommy to lose his job that must have happened years
-before. But Tommy wrote a certain joyous type of story better than any
-other person in New York, and his facetiousness got him out of as many
-scrapes as it got him into. He was thirty years old. At ninety he would
-still be experimenting with the visible world in a spirit of random
-eagerness, joshing everything in it, including himself. He looked
-exactly like the young gentleman pictured in a widely disseminated
-collar advertisement. He enjoyed looking that way, and occasionally he
-enjoyed talking as if he were exactly that kind of person. He loved to
-turn his ironic levity against the character he seemed to be, much as
-the mad wags who grace the column of F. P. A. delight in getting their
-sayings across accompanied by a gentle satirical fillip at all mad
-waggery.
-
-"Speaking of bubbles," he suddenly chuckled as he carefully adjusted his
-tie in the collar that looked exactly like the one in the advertisement,
-"there's an old party in the next room that takes 'em more seriously
-than you do, Jack."
-
-The old downtown hotel in which Tommy lived had once been a known and
-noted hostelry, and persons from Plumville, Pennsylvania, Griffin,
-Georgia, and Galva, Illinois, still stopped there when in New York,
-because their fathers and mothers had stopped there on their wedding
-journeys perhaps. It was not such a very long way from the Eden Musee,
-when there was an Eden Musee. Tommy's room had once formed part of a
-suite. The bathroom which adjoined it had belonged jointly to another
-room in the suite. But now these two rooms were always let separately.
-Still, however, the bathroom was a joint affair. When Tommy wished to
-bathe he must first insure privacy by hooking on the inside the door
-that led into the bathroom from the chamber beyond.
-
-"Old party in the next room?" questioned Jack.
-
-"Uh-huh," said Tommy, who had benefited by his cold sluicing and his
-rubdown. "I gave him a few bubbles for his very own--through the keyhole
-into his room, you know. Poked that brass rod through and blew the
-bubble in his room. Detached it with a little jerk and let it float.
-Seemed more sociable, you know, to let him in on the fun. Never be
-stingy with your pleasures, Jack. Shows a mean spirit--a mean soul. Why
-not cheer the old party up with soap bubbles? Cost little, bubbles
-do. More than likely he's a stranger in New York. Unfriendly city, he
-thinks. Big city. Nobody thinks of him. Nobody cares for him. Away from
-home. Winter day. Melancholy. Well, I say, give him a bubble now and
-then. Shows some one is thinking of him. Shows the world isn't so
-thoughtless and gloomy after all. Neighborly sort of thing to do, Jack.
-Makes him think of his youth--home--mother's knee--all that kind of
-thing, Jack. Cheers him up. Sat in the tub there and got to thinking
-of him. Almost cried, Jack, when I thought how lonely the old man must
-be--got one of these old man's voices. Whiskers. Whiskers deduced from
-the voice. So I climbed out of the tub every ten or fifteen minutes all
-afternoon and gave the old man a bubble. Rain outside--fog, sleet. Dark
-indoors. Old man sits and thinks nobody loves him. Along comes a bubble.
-Old man gets happy. Laughs. Remembers his infancy. Skies clear. You
-think I'm a selfish person, Jack? I'm not. I'm a Samaritan. Where will
-we eat?"
-
-"You are a darned fool," said Jack. "You say he took them seriously?
-What do you mean? Did he like 'em?"
-
-"Couldn't quite make out," said Tommy. "But they moved him. Gasped every
-now and then. Think he prayed. Emotion, Jack. Probably made him think
-of boyhood's happy days down on the farm. Heard him talking to himself.
-Think he cried. Went to bed anyhow with his clothes on and pulled the
-covers over his head. Looked through the keyhole and saw that. Gray
-whiskers sticking up, and that's all. Deduced the whiskers from the
-voice, Jack. Let's give the old party a couple more bubbles and then go
-eat. It's been an hour since he's had one. Thinks I'm forgetting him, no
-doubt."
-
-So they gave the old man a couple of bubbles, poking the brass rod
-through the keyhole of the door.
-
-The result was startling and unexpected. First there came a gasp from
-the other room, a sort of whistling release of the breath, and an
-instant later a high, whining, nasal voice.
-
-"Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God! You meant it!"
-
-The two young men started back and looked at each other in wonderment.
-There was such a quivering agony, such an utter groveling terror in this
-voice from the room beyond that they were daunted.
-
-"What's eating him?" asked Dobson, instinctively dropping his tones to a
-whisper.
-
-"I don't know," said Tommy, temporarily subdued. "Sounds like that last
-one shell-shocked him when it exploded, doesn't it?"
-
-But Tommy was subdued only for a moment.
-
-As they went out into the corridor he giggled and remarked, "Told you he
-took 'em seriously, Jack."
-
-
-
-II
-
-"Seriously" was a word scarcely strong enough for the way in which the
-old party in the room beyond had taken it, though he had not, in fact,
-seen the bubble. He had only seen a puff of smoke coming apparently from
-nowhere, originating in the air itself, as it seemed to him, manifesting
-itself, materializing itself out of nothing, and floating in front of
-the one eye which was peeping fearfully out of the huddled bedclothing
-which he had drawn over himself. He had lain quaking on the bed, waiting
-for this puff of smoke for an hour or more, hoping against hope that it
-would not come, praying and muttering, knotting his bony hands in the
-whiskers that Tommy had seen sticking up from the coverings, twisting
-convulsively.
-
-Tommy had whimsically filled the bubble, as he blew it, with smoke
-from his cigarette. He had in like manner, throughout the afternoon and
-early-evening, filled all the bubbles that he had given the old man
-with cigarette or pipe smoke. The old party had not been bowled over
-by anything in Tommy's tobacco. He had not noticed that the smoke was
-tobacco smoke, for he had been smoking a pipe himself the greater part
-of the day, and had not aired out the room. It was neither bubbles nor
-tobacco that had flicked a raw spot on his soul. It was smoke.
-
-
-
-III
-
-Bubbles! They seemed to be in Tommy's brain. Perhaps it was the
-association of ideas that made him think of champagne. At any rate he
-declared that he must have some, and vetoed his friend's suggestion that
-they dine--as they frequently did--at one of the little Italian table
-d'hote places in Greenwich Village.
-
-"You're a bubble and I'm a bubble and the world is a bubble," Tommy
-was saying a little later as he watched the gas stirring in his golden
-drink.
-
-They had gone to the genial old Brevoort, which was--but why tell
-persons who missed the Brevoort in its mellower days what they missed,
-and why cause anguished yearnings in the bosoms of those who knew it
-well?
-
-"Tommy," said his friend, "don't, if you love me, hand out any more of
-your jejune poeticism or musical-comedy philosophy. I'll agree with you
-that the world is a bubble for the sake of argument, if you'll change
-the record. I want to eat, and nothing interferes with my pleasure in
-a meal so much as this line of pseudocerebration that you seem to have
-adopted lately."
-
-"Bubbles seem trivial things, Jack," went on Tommy, altogether
-unperturbed. "But I have a theory that there aren't any trivial things.
-I like to think of the world balancing itself on a trivial thing. Look
-at the Kaiser, for instance. A madman. Well, let's say there's been a
-blood clot in his brain for years--a little trivial thing the size of a
-pin point, Jack. It hooks up with the wrong brain cell; it gets into
-the wrong channel, and--pouf! The world goes to war. A thousand million
-people are affected by it--by that one little clot of blood no bigger
-than a pin point that gets into the wrong channel. An atom! A planet
-balanced on an atom! A star pivoting on a molecule!"
-
-"Have some soup," said his friend.
-
-"Bubbles! Bubbles and butterflies!" continued Tommy. "Some day, Jack,
-I'm going to write a play in which a butterfly's wing brushes over an
-empire."
-
-"No, you're not," said Jack. "You're just going to talk about it and
-think you're writing it and peddle the idea round to everybody you know,
-and then finally some wise guy is going to grab it off and really write
-it. You've been going to write a play ever since I knew you."
-
-"Yes, I am; I'm really going to write that play."
-
-"Well, Tommy," said Jack, looking round the chattering dining room,
-"this is a hell of a place to do it in!"
-
-"Meaning, of course," said Tommy serenely, "that it takes more than a
-butterfly to write a play about a butterfly."
-
-"You get me," said his friend. And then after a pause he went on with
-sincerity in his manner: "You know I think you could write the play,
-Tommy. But unless you get to work on some of your ideas pretty soon, and
-buckle down to them in earnest, other people will continue to write your
-plays--and you will continue to josh them and yourself, and your friends
-will continue to think that you could write better plays if you would
-only do it. People aren't going to take you seriously, Tommy, till you
-begin to take yourself a little seriously. Why, you poor, futile, silly,
-misguided, dear old mutt, you! You don't even have sense enough--you
-don't have the moral continuity, if you follow me--to stay sore at a man
-that does you dirt! Now, do you?"
-
-"Oh, I don't know about that," said Tommy a little more seriously.
-
-"Well now, do you?" persisted his friend. "I don't say it's good
-Christian doctrine not to forgive people. It isn't. But I've seen people
-put things across on you, Tommy, and seen you laugh it off and let 'em
-be friends with you again inside of six weeks. I couldn't do it, and
-nine-tenths of the fellows we know couldn't do it; and in the way you
-do it it shouldn't be done. You should at least remember, even if you do
-forgive; remember well enough not to get bit by the same dog again. With
-you, old kid, it's all a part of your being a butterfly and a bubble.
-It's no particular virtue in you. I wouldn't talk to you like a Dutch
-uncle if I didn't think you had it in you to make good. But you've got
-to be prodded."
-
-"There's one fellow that did me dirt," said Tommy musingly, "that I've
-never taken to my bosom again."
-
-"What did you do to him?" asked his friend. "Beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, Tommy, or blow him out of existence with a soap
-bubble?"
-
-"I've never done anything to him," said Tommy soberly. "And I don't
-think I ever would do anything to him. I just remember, that's all. If
-he ever gets his come-uppance, as they say in the rural districts, it
-won't be through any act of mine. Let life take revenge for me. I never
-will."
-
-"I suppose you're right," said Dobson. "But who was this guy? And what
-did he do to you?"
-
-
-
-IV
-
-"He was--and is--my uncle," said Tommy, "and he did about everything
-to me. Listen! You think I do nothing but flitter, flutter, frivol and
-flivver! And you may be right, and maybe I never will do anything else.
-Maybe I never will be anything but a kid.
-
-"I was young when I was born. No, that's not one of my silly lines,
-Jack. I mean it seriously. I was young when I was born. I was born with
-a jolly disposition. But this uncle of mine took it out of me. I'll say
-he did! The reason I'm such a kid now, Jack, is because I had to grow up
-when I was about five years old, and I stayed grown up until I was
-seventeen or eighteen. I never had a chance to be a boy. If I showed any
-desire to be it was knocked out of me on the spot. And if I live two
-hundred years, and stay nineteen years old all that time, Jack, I won't
-any more than make up for the childhood I missed--that was stolen from
-me. Frivol? I could frivol a thousand years and not dull my appetite. I
-want froth, Jack: froth and bubbles!
-
-"This old uncle of mine--he wasn't so old in years when I first knew
-him, but in his soul he was as old as the overseers who whipped the
-slaves that built Cheops' pyramid, and as sandy and as flinty--hated me
-as soon as he saw me. He hated me before he saw me. He would have hated
-me if he had never seen me, because I was young and happy and careless.
-
-"I was that, when I went to live with him--young and happy and careless.
-I was five years old. He was my father's brother, Uncle Ezra was, and he
-beat my father out of money in his dirty, underhanded way. Oh, nothing
-illegal! At least, I suppose not. Uncle Ezra was too cautious to do
-anything that might be found out on him. There was nothing that my
-mother could prove, at any rate, and my father had been careless and had
-trusted him. When my father died my mother was ill. He gave us a home,
-Uncle Ezra did. She had to live somewhere; she had to have a roof over
-her head and attention of some sort. She had no near relations, and I
-had to be looked after.
-
-"So she and I went into his house to live. It was to be temporary. We
-were to move as soon as she got better. But she did not live long. I
-don't remember her definitely as she was before we went to live with
-Uncle Ezra. I can only see her as she lay on a bed in a dark room before
-she died. It was a large wooden bed, with wooden slats and a straw
-mattress. I can see myself sitting on a chair by the head of the bed and
-talking to her. My feet did not reach to the floor by any means; they
-only reached to the chair rungs. I can't remember what she said or what
-I said. All I remember of her is that she had very bright eyes and that
-her arms were thin. I remember her arms, but not her face, except the
-eyes. I suppose she used to reach her arms out to me. I think she
-must have been jolly at one time, too. There is a vague feeling, a
-remembrance, that before we went to Uncle Ezra's she was jolly, and
-that she and I laughed and played together in some place where there was
-red-clover bloom.
-
-"One day when I was siting on the chair, the door opened and Uncle Ezra
-came in. There was some man with him that was, I suppose, a doctor.
-I can recall Uncle Ezra's false grin and the way he put his hand on my
-head--to impress the doctor, I suppose--and the way I pulled away from
-him. For I felt that he disliked me, and I feared and hated him.
-
-"Yes, Uncle Ezra gave us a home. I don't know how much you know about
-the rural districts, Jack. But when an Uncle Ezra in a country town
-gives some one a home he acquires merit. This was a little town in
-Pennsylvania that Pm talking about, and Uncle Ezra was a prominent
-citizen--deacon in the church and all that sort of thing. Truly rural
-drama stuff, Jack, but I can't help that--it's true. Uncle Ezra had a
-reputation for being stingy and mean. Giving us a home was a good card
-for him to play. My mother had a little money, and he stole that, too,
-when she died.
-
-"I suppose he stole it legally. I don't know. It wasn't much. No one had
-any particular interest in looking out for me, and nobody would want to
-start anything in opposition to Uncle Ezra in that town if it could be
-helped anyhow. He didn't have the whole village and the whole of the
-farming country round about sewed up, all by himself, but he was one
-of the little group that did. There's a gang like that in every country
-town, I imagine. He was one of four or five big ducks in that little
-puddle--lent money, took mortgages and all that kind of thing you read
-about. I don't know how much he is worth now, counting what he has
-been stealing all his life. But it can't be a staggering sum. He's too
-cowardly to plunge or take a long chance. He steals and saves and grinds
-in a little way. He is too mean and small and blind and limited in his
-intelligence to be a big, really successful crook, such as you will find
-in New York City.
-
-"When my mother died, of course, I stayed with Uncle Ezra. I suppose
-everybody said how good it was of him to keep me, and that it showed a
-soft and kindly spot in his nature after all, and that he couldn't be so
-hard as he had the name of being. But I don't see what else could have
-been done with me, unless he had taken me out and dropped me in the mill
-pond like a blind cat. Sometimes I used to wish he had done that.
-
-"It isn't hard to put a five-year-old kid in the wrong, so as to make it
-appear--even to the child himself--that he is bad and disobedient. Uncle
-Ezra began that way with me. I'm not going into details. This isn't a
-howl; it's merely an explanation. But he persecuted me in every way. He
-put me to work before I should have known what work was--work too hard
-for me. He deviled me and he beat me, he clothed me like a beggar and he
-fed me like a dog, he robbed me of childhood and of boyhood. I won't go
-over the whole thing.
-
-"I never had decent shoes, or a hat that wasn't a rag, and I never went
-to kid parties or anything, or even owned so much as an air rifle of my
-own. The only pair of skates I ever had, Jack, I made for myself out of
-two old files, with the help of the village blacksmith--and I got licked
-for that. Uncle Ezra said I had stolen the files and the straps. They
-belonged to him.
-
-"But there's one thing I remember with more of anger than any other. He
-used to make me kneel down and pray every night before I went to bed,
-in his presence; and sometimes he would pray with me. He was a deacon in
-the church. There are plenty of them on the square--likely most of them
-are. But this one was the kind you used to see in the old-fashioned
-melodramas. Truly rural stuff, Jack. He used to be quite a shark at
-prayer himself, Uncle Ezra did. I can remember how he looked when he
-prayed, with his eyes shut and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down and
-the sound whining through his nose.
-
-"The only person that was ever human to me was a woman I called Aunt
-Lizzie. I don't know really what relation she wras to me; a distant
-cousin of Uncle Ezra's, I think. She was half blind and she was deaf,
-and he bullied her and made her do all the housework. She was bent
-nearly double with drudgery. He had given her a home, too. She didn't
-dare be very good to me. He might find it out, and then we both would
-catch it. She baked me some apple dumplings once on one of my birthdays.
-I was nine years old. And he said she had stolen the apples and flour
-from him; that he had not ordered her to make any apple dumplings,
-and it was theft; and he made me pray for her, and made her pray for
-herself, and he prayed for both of us in family prayers every day for a
-week.
-
-"I was nearly eighteen when I ran away. I might have done it sooner, but
-I was small for my age, and I was cowed. I didn't dare to call my soul
-my own, and I had a reputation for being queer, too. For I used to grin
-and laugh at things no one else thought were funny--when Uncle Ezra
-wasn't round. I suppose people in that town thought it was odd that I
-could laugh at all. No one could understand how I had a laugh left in
-me. But when I was alone I used to laugh. I used to laugh at myself
-sometimes because I was so little and so queer. When I was seventeen I
-wasn't much bigger than a thirteen-year-old kid should be. I packed a
-lot of growing into the years between seventeen and twenty-one.
-
-"When I ran away Aunt Lizzie gave me eighty-seven cents, all in nickels
-and pennies, and there were two or three of those old-fashioned two-cent
-pieces in it, too, that she had had for God knows how long. It was
-all she had. I don't suppose he ever paid her anything at all, and the
-wonder was she had that much. I told her that when I got out into the
-world and made good I would come and get her, but she shivered all over
-with fright at the idea of daring to leave. I have sent her things from
-time to time in the last ten years--money, and dresses I have bought
-for her, and little things I thought she would like. But I don't know
-whether he let her have them or not I never got any letter from her at
-all. I don't even know whether she can write, to tell the truth, and she
-wouldn't dare get one of the neighbors to write for her. But if I ever
-make any real money, Jack, I am going to go and get her, whether she
-dares to come away or not.
-
-"Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle
-Ezra hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a
-town where there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep
-school attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and
-college in five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute
-I got away from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The
-clouds rolled by and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned
-into a kid. I romped through that prep school and that college, and made
-my own living while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved
-the world and everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes
-to a duck. I came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a
-chance as a reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
-
-"I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
-good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
-want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much
-I'm never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have
-a dream that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little
-town, and that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
-
-"Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New
-York to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that
-place, and I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If
-he ever really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
-
-"You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used
-to be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
-
-"Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
-enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll
-ever change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't
-know that I'd ever do anything to him if I did--beat him to death with
-a butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested.
-Let him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is.
-I wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other--not even a
-puff of cigarette smoke."
-
-He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
-finished, and then he remarked, "Let's go somewhere and dance."
-
-"Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown," suggested Jack, "and I have a couple
-of tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little."
-
-"Nope," said Tommy. "Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
-Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden."
-
-
-
-V
-
-But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
-beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
-sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
-saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
-
-The old party in the room next to Tommy's at the hotel had arrived the
-day before, with an umbrella, a straw suitcase and a worried eye on
-either side his long, white, chalkish, pitted nose. He seemed chilly
-in spite of his large plum-colored overcoat, of a cut that has survived
-only in the rural districts. He wore a salient, assertive beard, that
-had once been sandy and was now almost white, but it was the only
-assertive thing about him. His manner was far from aggressive.
-
-An hour after he had been shown to his room he appeared at the desk
-again and inquired timidly of the clerk, "There's a fire near here?"
-
-"Little blaze in the next block. Doesn't amount to anything," said the
-clerk.
-
-"I heard the--the engines," said the guest apologetically.
-
-"Doesn't amount to anything," said the clerk again. And then, "Nervous
-about fire?"
-
-The old party seemed startled.
-
-"Who? Me? Why should I be nervous about fire? No! No! No!" He beat a
-sudden retreat. "I was just asking--just asking," he threw back over his
-shoulder.
-
-"Old duck's scared of fire and ashamed to own it," mused the clerk,
-watching him out of the lobby.
-
-The old party went back to his room, and there one of the first
-things he saw was a copy of the Bible lying on the bureau. There is an
-organization which professes for its object the placing of a Bible in
-every hotel room in the land. The old party had his own Bible with him.
-As if reminded of it by the one on the bureau, he took it out of
-his suitcase and sat down and began to turn the leaves like a person
-familiar with the book--and like a person in need of comfort, as indeed
-he was.
-
-There was a text in Matthew that he sought--where was it? Somewhere in
-the first part of Matthew's gospel--ah, here it is: The twelfth chapter
-and the thirty-first verse:
-
-"All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men...."
-
-There is a terrible reservation in the same verse. He kept his eyes from
-it, and read the first part over and over, forming the syllables with
-his lips, but not speaking aloud.
-
-"All manner of sin--all manner of sin-------"
-
-And then, as if no longer able to avoid it, he yielded his consciousness
-to the latter clause of the verse:
-
-"But the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto
-men."
-
-What was blasphemy against the Holy Ghost? Could what he had done be
-construed as that? Probably if one lied to God in his prayers, that was
-blasphemy against the Holy Ghost--one form of it. And had he been lying
-to God these last two weeks when he had said over and over again in his
-prayers that it was all a mistake? It hadn't been all a mistake, but the
-worst part of it had been a mistake.
-
-He went out for his dinner that evening, but he was in again before ten
-o'clock. He could not have slept well. At two o'clock in the morning he
-appeared in front of the desk.
-
-He had heard fire engines again.
-
-"See here," said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
-done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
-fire, "you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
-we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy."
-
-The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
-down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
-
-He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
-to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At
-noon he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the
-Eden Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had
-been closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture
-house round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet
-all together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party
-elected not to go out after all.
-
-He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
-descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
-brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
-himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no
-good. Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and
-was experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him
-and the agony would begin again.
-
-The old debate--he had burned the store, with the living quarters over
-it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
-insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
-wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was
-merely sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before
-that, when one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been
-forced to accept from the same insurance company less than was actually
-due him as a matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that
-company by a shrewd trick was in a way merely to get back his own again.
-It wasn't the sort of thing that a deacon in the church would care to
-have found out on him, of course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was
-the wrong that it had led to that worried him.
-
-It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn
-her to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
-
-He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
-cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was
-not to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must
-have crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she
-was there.
-
-"I didn't know! I didn't know!"
-
-There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
-
-It was at midnight that he had set fire to the place. The old woman was
-deaf. Even when the flames began to crackle she could not have heard
-them. She had had no more chance than a rat in a trap. The old fool! It
-was her own fault! Why had she not obeyed him? Why had she come creeping
-back, like a deaf old half-blind tabby cat, to die in the flames? It
-was her own fault! When he thought of the way she had returned to kill
-herself there were moments when he cursed and hated her.
-
-But had she killed herself? Back and forth swung the inner argument. At
-times he saw clearly enough that this incident joined on without a break
-to the texture of his whole miserable life; when he recognized that,
-though it might be an accident in a strictly literal sense that the old
-woman was dead, yet it was the sort of accident for which his previous
-existence had been a preparation. Even while he fiercely denied
-his guilt, or talked of it in a seizure of whining prayer that was
-essentially a lying denial, he knew that guilt there was.
-
-Would he be forgiven? There were comforting passages in the Bible. He
-switched on the rather insufficient electric light, which was all the
-old hotel provided, for the day was too dark to read without that help,
-and turned the pages of the New Testament through and through again.
-
-At three o'clock in the afternoon he was sitting on the edge of his bed,
-with the book open in front of him and his head bowed, almost dozing.
-His pipe, with which he had filled the room with the fumes of tobacco,
-had fallen to the floor. Perhaps it was weariness, but for a brief
-period his sharper sense of fear had been somewhat stilled again. Maybe
-it was going to be like this--a gradual easing off of the strain in
-answer to his prayers. He had asked God for an answer as to whether
-he should be forgiven, and God was answering in this way, so he told
-himself. God was going to let him get some sleep, and maybe when he woke
-everything would be all right again--bearable at least.
-
-So he mused, half asleep.
-
-And then all at once he sprang wide awake again, and his terror wakened
-with him. For suddenly in front of his half-shut eyes, coming from
-nowhere in particular, there passed a puff of smoke!
-
-What could it mean? He had asked God for an answer. He had been lulled
-for a moment almost into something like peace, and--now--this puff of
-smoke! Was it a sign? Was it God's answer?
-
-He sat up on the edge of the bed, rigid, in a cold, still agony of
-superstitious fright. He dared not move or turn his head. He was afraid
-that he would see--something--if he looked behind him. He was afraid
-that he would in another moment hear something--a voice!
-
-He closed his eyes. He prayed. He prayed aloud. His eyes once closed,
-he scarcely dared open them again. After seme minutes he began to tell
-himself that perhaps he had been mistaken; perhaps he had not seen smoke
-at all. Perhaps even if he had seen smoke it was due to some explicable
-cause, and not meant for him.
-
-He greatly dared. He opened his eyes. And drifting lazily above the
-white pillow at the head of the bed was another puff of smoke.
-
-He rocked back and forth upon the bed, with his arms up as if to shield
-his head from a physical blow, and then he passed in a moment from the
-quakings of fear to a kind of still certainty of doom. God was angry at
-him. God was telling him so. God would send the devil for him. There
-was no further doubt. He would go to hell--to hell! To burn forever!
-Forever--even as the old woman had burned for a quarter of an hour. He
-began to search through the pages of the Bible again, not for words of
-comfort this time, but in a morbid ecstasy of despair, for phrases about
-hell, for verses that mentioned fire and flames.
-
-He did not need the concordance. He knew his Bible well, and his fear
-helped him. Consciousness and subconsciousness joined to guide his
-fingers and eyes in the quest.
-
-"Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming," he
-read in Isaiah, and he took it to himself.
-
-"Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and
-ye shall be melted in the midst thereof," he read in Ezekiel.
-
-He had a literal imagination, and he had a literal belief, and at every
-repetition of the word "fire" the flesh cringed and crawled on his
-bones. God! To burn! How it must hurt!
-
-"And the God that answereth by fire, let Him be God," met his eyes in
-the first book of Kings.
-
-And it all meant him. Now and then over his shoulder would float another
-little puff of smoke; and once, lifting his head suddenly from poring
-over the book, he thought he saw something that moved and glinted like a
-traveling spark, and was gone.
-
-He began to feel himself in hell already. This was the foretaste, that
-was all. Would he begin to burn even before he died? Did this smoke
-presage something of that kind? Would flames physically seize upon him,
-and would he burn, even as the old woman had burned?
-
-Suddenly in his hysteria there came a revulsion--a revolt. Having
-reached the nethermost depths of despair, he began to move upward a
-little. His soul stirred and took a step and tried to climb. He began to
-pray once more. After all, the Good Book did promise mercy! He began to
-dare to pray again. And he prayed in a whisper that now and then broke
-into a whine--a strange prayer, characteristic of the man.
-
-"Oh, God," he cried, "you promise forgiveness in that book there, and
-I'm gonna hold you to it! I'm gonna hold you to it! It's down there in
-black and white, your own words, God, and I'm gonna hold you to it! It's
-a contract, God, and you ain't the kind of a man, God, to go back on a
-contract that's down in black and white!"
-
-Thus he prayed, with a naive, unconscious blasphemy. And after long
-minutes of this sort of thing his soul dared take another step. A
-faint, far glimmering of hope came to him where he groveled. For he was
-groveling on the bed now, with the covers pulled up to his head and his
-hand upon the open Bible. He found the courage to peer from beneath the
-covers at intervals as he prayed and muttered, and minutes passed with
-no more smoke. Had the smoke ceased? The sound of his own murmuring
-voice began to reassure him. The smoke had certainly ceased! It had been
-twenty minutes since he had seen it--half an hour!
-
-What could it mean? That God was hearkening to his prayer?
-
-An hour went by, and still there was no more sign of smoke. He prayed
-feverishly, he gabbled, as if by the rapidity of his utterance and the
-repeated strokes of his words he were beating back and holding at bay
-the smoke that was God's warning and the symbol of his displeasure. And
-the smoke had ceased to come! He was to be forgiven! He was winning! His
-prayers were winning for him! At least God was listening!
-
-Yes, that must be it. God was listening now. The smoke had come as a
-warning; and he had, upon receiving this warning, repented. God had not
-meant, after all, that he was doomed irrevocably. God had meant that,
-to be forgiven, his repentance must be genuine, must be thorough--and
-it was thorough now. Now it was genuine! And the smoke had ceased! The
-smoke had been a sign, and he had heeded the sign, and now if he kept up
-his prayers and lived a good life in the future he was to be forgiven.
-He would not have to burn in hell after all.
-
-The minutes passed, and he prayed steadily, and every minute that went
-by and brought no further sign of the smoke built up in him a little
-more hope, another grain of confidence.
-
-An hour and a quarter, and he almost dared be sure that he was
-forgiven--but he was not quite sure. If he could only be quite sure! He
-wallowed on the bed, and his hand turned idly the pages of the Bible,
-lying outside on the coverlet.
-
-More than an hour had gone by. Could he accept it as an indication that
-God had indeed heard him? He shifted himself upon the bed, and stared
-up at the ceiling through a chink in the covers as if through and beyond
-the ceiling he were interrogating heaven.
-
-And lying so, there came a damp touch upon his hand, soft and chill and
-silent, as if it were delicately and ironically brushed by the kiss of
-Death. A sudden agony numbed his hand and arm. With the compulsion of
-hysteria, not to be resisted, his head lifted and he sat up and looked.
-Over the Bible and his hand that lay upon the open page there floated
-again a puff of smoke, and faintly staining his Angers and the paper
-itself was something moist and red. It stained his Angers and it marked
-with red for his straining sight this passage of Isaiah:
-
-"The earth also shall disclose her blood."
-
-It was then he cried out, "Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God!
-You meant it."
-
-It was nearly midnight when Tommy and his friend Dobson returned to the
-hotel. "Your paper's been trying to get you for an hour, Mr. Hawkins,"
-said the night clerk when they came in. "Story right in the next room to
-yours. Old party in there hanged himself."
-
-"So?" said Tommy. "Ungrateful old guy, he is! I put in the afternoon
-trying to cheer him up a little."
-
-"Did you know him?" asked the clerk.
-
-"Nope," said Tommy, moving toward the elevator.
-
-But a few moments later, confronted with the grotesque spectacle in the
-room upstairs, he said, "Yes--I--I know him. Jack! Jack! Get me out of
-here, Jack! It's Uncle Ezra, Jack! He's--he's come for me!"
-
-As has been remarked before, sometimes even a bubble may be a mordant
-weapon.
-
-
-
-
-VIII.--The Chances of the Street
-
-
-|Merriwether Buck had lost all his money. Also his sisters', and his
-cousins', and his aunts'.
-
-"At two o'clock sharp I will shoot myself," said Merriwether Buck.
-
-He caressed a ten-shot automatic pistol in the right-hand pocket of his
-coat as he loitered up Broadway. He was light-headed. He had had nothing
-to eat for forty-eight hours.
-
-"How I hate you!" said Merriwether Buck, comprehensively to the city in
-general. "If nine pistol shots would blot you out, I'd do it!"
-
-Very melodramatic language, this, for a well-brought-up young man; and
-thus indicating that he was light-headed, indeed. And as for the city,
-it continued to roar and rattle and honk and rumble and squeak and bawl
-and shuffle and thunder and grate in the same old way--supreme in its
-confidence that nine pistol shots could not, by any possibility, blot
-it out. That is one of the most disconcerting things about a city; you
-become enraged at it, and the city doesn't even know it. Unless you
-happen to be Nero it is very difficult to blot them out satisfactorily.
-
-It was one o'clock. Merriwether Buck crossed the street at Herald Square
-and went over and stood in front of the big newspaper office. A portly
-young fellow with leaden eyes came out of the building and stood
-meditatively on the curb with his hands in the pockets of clothing that
-clamored shrilly of expense.
-
-"Excuse me," said Merriwether Buck, approaching him, "but are you, by
-any chance, a reporter?"
-
-"Uh," grunted the young man, frigidly affirmative.
-
-"I can put you in the way of a good story," said Merriwether Buck,
-obeying an impulse: We may live anonymously but most of us like to feel
-that it will make a little stir when we die.
-
-"Huh," remarked the reporter.
-
-"At two o'clock," persisted Merriwether Buck, "I am going to shoot
-myself."
-
-The reporter looked bored; his specialty was politics.
-
-"Are you anybody in particular?" he asked, discouragingly.
-
-"No," confessed Merriwether Buck. It didn't seem to be worth while to
-mention that he was one of the Bucks of Bucktown, Merriwether County,
-Georgia.
-
-"I thought," said the reporter, with an air of rebuke, "that you said it
-was a _good_ story."
-
-"I am, at least, a human being," said Merriwether Buck, on the
-defensive.
-
-"They're cheap, hereabout," returned the other, in the manner of a
-person who has estimated a good many assorted lots.
-
-"You are callous," said Merriwether Buck. "Callous to the soul! What are
-you, but--but--Why, you are New York incarnate! That is what you are!
-And I think I will shoot you first!"
-
-"I don't want to be a spoil sport," said the reporter, "but I'm afraid I
-can't allow it. I have a rather important assignment."
-
-Merriwether played with the little automatic pistol in his pocket. It
-was not any regard for the consequences that deterred him from shooting
-the portly young man. But in his somewhat dizzy brain a fancy was taking
-shape; a whim worked in him. He drew his hand empty from the pocket, and
-that reporter came up out of the grave.
-
-"I am hungry," said Merriwether Buck, in obedience to the whim.
-
-"Now that you remind me of it," said the other, his lack-luster
-eyes lighting up a little, "so am I!" And he crossed the street and
-disappeared through the swinging doors of a cafe.
-
-Callous, leaden-eyed young man! epitome of this hard town! So cried the
-spirit of Merriwether Buck; and then he spoke aloud, formulating his
-idea:
-
-"New York, you are on trial. You are in the balances. I give you an
-hour. If I'm asked to lunch by two o'clock, all right. If not, I will
-kill myself, first carefully shooting down the most prosperous citizens,
-and as many of 'em as I can reach. New York, it's up to you!"
-
-The idea of playing it out that way tickled him to the heart; he had
-always loved games of chance. One man or woman out of all the prosperous
-thousands in the streets might save another prosperous half-dozen;
-might save as many as he could otherwise reach with nine shots from his
-pistol, for he would reserve the tenth for himself. Otherwise, there
-should be a sacrifice; he would offer up a blood atonement for the pagan
-city's selfishness. Giddy and feverish, and drunk with the sense of his
-power to slay, he beheld himself as a kind of grotesque priest--and he
-threw back his head and laughed at the maniac conceit.
-
-A woman who was passing turned at the sound, and their eyes met. She
-smiled. Merriwether Buck was good to look at. So was she. She was of
-that type of which men are certain at once, without quite knowing why;
-while women are often puzzled, saying to themselves: "After all, it may
-be only her rings."
-
-"Pardon me," said Merriwether Buck, overtaking her, "but you and I are
-to lunch together, aren't we?"
-
-"I like your nerve!" said she. And she laughed. It was evident that she
-did like it. "Where?" she asked briefly, falling into step beside him.
-
-"Wherever you like," said Merriwether. "I leave that to you, as I'm
-depending on you to pay the check."
-
-She began a doubtful laugh, and then, seeing that it wasn't a joke,
-repeated:
-
-"I like your nerve!" And it was now evident that she didn't like it.
-
-"See here," he said, speaking rapidly, "my clothes look all right yet,
-but I'm broke. I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since day
-before yesterday. I'm not kidding you; it's true. You looked like a good
-fellow to me, and I took a chance. Hunger" (as he spoke it he seemed to
-remember having heard the remark before), "hunger makes one a judge of
-faces; I gambled on yours."
-
-She wasn't complimented; she regarded him with a manner in which scorn
-and incredulity were blended; Merriwether Buck perceived that, for some
-reason or other, she was insulted.
-
-"Don't," she said, "don't pull any of that sentimental stuff on me. I
-thought you was a gentleman!"
-
-And she turned away from him. He took a step in pursuit and started to
-renew his plea; for he was determined to play his game square and give
-the directing deities of the city a fair chance to soften whatsoever
-random heart they would.
-
-"Beat it!" she shrilled, "beat it, you cheap grafter, or I'll call a
-cop!"
-
-And Merriwether beat it; nor' by nor'west he beat it, as the street
-beats it; as the tides beat. The clock on the Times building marked 1.20
-as he paused by the subway station there. In forty minutes--just the
-time it takes to hook your wife's dress or put a girdle round the
-world--Merri-wether Buck would be beating it toward eternity, shooing
-before him a flock of astonished ghosts of his own making. Twenty
-minutes had gone by and whatever gods they be that rule New York had
-made no sign; perhaps said gods were out at lunch or gone to Coney
-Island. Twice twenty minutes more, and----
-
-But no. It is all over now. It must be. There emerges from the subway
-station one who is unmistakably a preacher. The creases of his face
-attest a smiling habit; no doubt long years of doing good have given it
-that stamp; the puffs of white hair above the temples add distinction to
-benignity.
-
-"I beg your pardon," said Merriwether Buck, "but are you a minister?"
-
-"Eh?" said the reverend gentleman, adjusting a pair of gold-rimmed
-eyeglasses. "Yes," he said pleasantly, "I am," and he removed the
-glasses and put them back on once again, as he spoke. Somehow, the way
-he did it was a benediction.
-
-"I am hungry," said Merriwether.
-
-"Dear me!" said the reverend gentleman. "I shouldn't have thought it."
-
-"Will you ask me to lunch?"
-
-"Eh?" It was an embarrassing question; but the gentleman was all
-good nature. His air indicated that he did not intend to let his
-own embarrassment embarrass Merriwether too much. "My dear man, you
-know--really----" He placed a shapely hand upon Merriwether's shoulder,
-rallyingly, almost affectionately, and completed the sentence with a
-laugh.
-
-"It's charity I'm asking for," said Merriwether.
-
-"Oh!" For some reason he seemed vastly relieved. "Have you been--but,
-dear me, are you sure you aren't joking?"
-
-"Yes; sure."
-
-"And have you--ahem!--have you sought aid from any institution; any
-charitable organization, you know?"
-
-"But no," said Merriwether, who had instinctively eliminated charitable
-organizations, free lunches and police stations from the terms of his
-wager, "I thought----"
-
-"My, my, my," hummed the reverend gentleman, interrupting him. He
-produced his card case and took a card therefrom. "I am going," he said,
-writing on the card with a pencil, "to give you my card to the secretary
-of the Combined Charities. Excellent system they have there. You'll be
-investigated, you know," he said brightly, as if that were an especial
-boon he was conferring, "your record looked into--character and
-antecedents and all that sort of thing!"
-
-"And fed?" asked Merriwether.
-
-"Oh, indeed!" And he handed over the card as if he were giving
-Merriwether the keys to the city--but not too gross and material a city
-either; Merriwether felt almost as if he were being baptized.
-
-"But," said Merriwether Buck, "I wanted _you_ to feed me!"
-
-"Oh, my dear man!" smiled the minister, "I _am_ doing it, you know. I'm
-a subscriber--do _all_ my charitable work this way. Saves time. Well,
-good-by." And he nodded cheerily.
-
-"But," said Merriwether Buck, "aren't you interested in me personally?
-Don't you want to hear my story?"
-
-"Story? Story?" hummed the other. "Indeed, but they'll learn your story
-there! They have the most excellent system there; card system; cases
-and case numbers, you know--Stories, bless you! Hundreds and hundreds of
-stories! Big file cases! You'll be number so-and-so. Really," he said,
-with a beaming enthusiasm, "they have a _wonderful_ system. Well,
-good-by!" There was a touch of finality in his pleasant tone, but
-Merriwether caught him by the sleeve.
-
-"See here," he said, "haven't you even got any _curiosity_ about
-me? Don't you even want to know why I'm hungry? Can't you find time
-_yourself_ to listen to the tale?"
-
-"Time," said the reverend gentleman, "_time_ is just what I feel the
-lack of--feel it sadly, at moments like these, sadly." He sighed, but it
-was an optimistic, good-humored sort of sigh. "But I tell you what you
-do." He drew forth another card and scribbled on it. "If you want to
-tell me your story so very badly--(dear me, what remarkable situations
-the clerical life lets one in for!)--so _very_ badly, take this card
-to my study about 3.30. You'll find my stenographer there and you can
-dictate it to her; she'll type it out. Yes, indeed, she'll type it out!
-Well, _good_-by!"
-
-And with a bright backward nod he was off.
-
-It was 1.25. There were thirty-five minutes more of life. Merriwether
-Buck gave the reverend gentleman's cards to a seedy individual who
-begged from him, with the injunction to go and get himself charitably
-Bertilloned like a gentleman and stop whining, and turned eastward on
-Forty-second Street. If you have but thirty-five minutes of life, why
-not spend them on Fifth Avenue, where sightly things abound?--indeed
-if you happen to be a homicidal maniac of some hours standing, like
-Merriwether Buck, Fifth Avenue should be good hunting ground; the very
-place to mark the fat and greasy citizens of your sacrifice.
-
-Time, the only patrician, will not step lively for the pert subway
-guards of human need, nor yet slacken pace for any bawling traffic cop
-of man's desire; he comes of an old family too proud to rush, too proud
-to wait; a fine old fellow with a sense of his own value. Time walked
-with Merriwether Buck as he loitered up Fifth Avenue, for the old
-gentleman loves to assist personally at these little comedies,
-sometimes; with Death a hang-dog third. Not even a fly-cop took note of
-the trio, although several, if they robbed a jewelry store or anything
-like that, would tell the reporters later that they had noticed
-something suspicious at the time. And the patron deities of New York
-City might have been over in Hoboken playing pinochle for all the heed
-_they_ took.
-
-Which brings us to Sixty-fifth Street and 1.58 o'clock and the presence
-of the great man, all at once.
-
-When Merriwether Buck first saw him, Meriwether Buck gasped. He couldn't
-believe it. And, indeed, it was a thing that might not happen again this
-year or next year or in five years--J. Dupont Evans, minus bulwark or
-attendant, even minus his habitual grouch, walking leisurely toward him
-like any approachable and common mortal. Merriwether Buck might well be
-incredulous. But it was he; the presentment of that remarkable face has
-been printed a hundred thousand times; it is as well known to the world
-at large as Uncle Pete Watson's cork leg is on the streets of Prairie
-Centre, Ill.; it is unmistakable.
-
-To have J. Dupont Evans at the point of a pistol might almost intoxicate
-some sane and well-fed men, and Merriwether Buck was neither. J. Dupont
-Evans--the wealth of Croesus would be just one cracked white chip in the
-game he plays. But at this moment his power and his importance had been
-extraordinarily multiplied by circumstances. The chances of the street
-had tumbled down a half dozen banks--(well did Merriwether Buck know
-that, since it had ruined him)--and financial panic was in the air;
-an epochal and staggering disaster threatened; and at this juncture a
-president in no wise humble had publicly confessed his own impotence and
-put it up to J. Dupont Evans to avert, to save, to reassure.
-
-Merriwether Buck had not dreamed of this; in the crook of his trigger
-finger lay, not merely the life of a man, but the immediate destiny of a
-nation.
-
-He grasped the pistol in his pocket, and aimed it through the cloth.
-
-"Do you know what time it is?" he asked J. Dupont Evans, politely
-enough.
-
-It was only a second before the man answered. But in that second
-Merriwether Buck, crazily exalted, and avid of the sensation he was
-about to create, had a swift vision. He saw bank after bank come
-crashing down; great railroad systems ruined; factories closed and
-markets stagnant; mines shut and crops ungathered in the fields; ships
-idle at the wharves; pandemonium and ruin everywhere.
-
-"Huh?" said J. Dupont Evans, gruffly, removing an unlighted cigar from
-his mouth. He looked at Merriwether Buck suspiciously, and made as if to
-move on. But he thought better of it the next instant, evidently, for
-he pulled out a plain silver watch and said grudgingly: "Two minutes
-of two." And then, in a tone less unpleasant, he asked: "Have you got a
-match, young man?"
-
-Merriwether fumbled in his vest pocket. In a minute and a half he would
-perfunctorily ask this man for lunch, and then he would kill him. But he
-would give him a match first--for Merriwether Buck was a well-brought-up
-young man. As he fumbled he picked out the exact spot on the other's
-waistcoat where he would plant the bullet. But the idea of a man on the
-edge of the grave lighting a cigar tickled him so that he laughed aloud
-as he held out the matches.
-
-"What can I do with these?" snorted J. Dupont Evans. "They are the sort
-that light only on their own box." From his glance one might have gained
-the impression that he thought Merriwether Buck a fool.
-
-"Great principle that," said Merriwether Buck, cackling with hysteria.
-It was so funny that a dead man should want to smoke a cigar! He would
-let him play he was alive for fifty seconds longer.
-
-"Principle?" said Evans. "Principle? What Principle?"
-
-"Well," said Merriwether, with the random argumentativeness of insanity,
-"it _is_ a great principle. Apply that principle to some high explosive,
-for instance, and you have no more battleship flare-backs--no premature
-mine blasts----"
-
-"Say," the other suddenly interrupted, "are you an inventor?"
-
-"Yes," lied Merriwether Buck, glibly, although he had never given five
-seconds' thought to the subject of high explosives in his life. "That's
-how I know. I've invented an explosive more powerful than dynamite. But
-it won't explode by contact with fire, like powder. Won't explode with a
-jar, like dynamite. Won't freeze, like dynamite. Only one way to explode
-it--you've got to bring it into contact with a certain other chemical
-the same as scratching one of these matches on its own box."
-
-"The deuce, young man!" said the other. "There's a fortune in it! Is it
-on the market at all?"
-
-"No," said Merriwether Buck, raising his pistol hand slightly and
-thrusting it a bit forward, under the mask of his coat pocket, "no money
-to start it going."
-
-"Hum," mused the other. "I tell you what you do, young man. You come
-along to lunch with me and we'll talk the thing over--money and all."
-
-And the directing deities of New York struck twice on all the city
-clocks, and striking, winked.
-
-
-
-
-IX.--The Professor's Awakening
-
-|How I ever come to hit such a swell-looking house for a handout I never
-knew. Not that there was anything so gaudy about it, neither, as far as
-putting up a bluff at being a millionaire's mansion went, which I found
-out afterwards it was, or pretty near that at any rate. But it was just
-about the biggest house in that Illinois town, and it's mostly that kind
-o' place with them naked iron heathens in the front yard and a brick
-stable behind that it ain't no use to go up against unless you're
-looking for a lemon. If you need real food and need it sudden and ain't
-prospecting around town for no other kind of an opening you better make
-for the nearest public works like a canal being dug, or a railroad gang.
-Hit the little tin dinner buckets, men that does the unskilled labor
-on jobs like that, except Swedes and Dagos, knowing what it is to be
-up against it themselves now and then and not inclined to ask no fool
-questions.
-
-Well, I went around to the back door, and Biddy Malone she lets me in. I
-found out that was her name afterwards, but as soon as I seen her face
-I guessed if her name wasn't Bridget it was Nora. It's all in the
-first look they give you after they open the door. If that look's right
-they're coming across and you'll get some kind of a surprise for your
-digestive ornaments and you don't need to make no fool breaks about
-sawing wood neither. I makes my little talk and Biddy she says come in;
-and into the kitchen I went.
-
-"It's Minnesota you're working towards," says Biddy, pouring me out a
-cup of coffee.
-
-She was thinking of the wheat harvest where there's thousands makes for
-every fall. But not for me, I never did like to work for none of them
-Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians that gets into the field before
-daylight and stays at it so long the hired men got to milk the cows by
-moonlight. They got no sense of proportion, them Gusses and Oles ain't.
-
-"I been across the river into I'way," I says, "working at my trade, and
-I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more."
-
-"And what may your trade be?" says Biddy, sizing me up careful. I seen I
-made a hit somehow or she wouldn't of asked me in the first place was
-I going to the wheat harvest, but would of just supposed I was a hobo,
-which I ain't. I got a lot of trades when I want to use one, and as a
-regular thing I rather work at one of them for a while, too, but can't
-stand it very long on account of not feeling right to stay in one place
-too long, especially in the summer. When I seen I made a hit with Biddy
-I thinks I'll hand her a good one she never heard tell of before.
-
-"I'm an agnostic by trade," I says. I spotted that one in a Carnegie
-library one time and that was the first chance I ever had to spring it.
-
-"I see," says Biddy. And she opened her eyes and mouth to once. I seen
-she didn't see, but I didn't help her none. She would of rather killed
-herself than let on she didn't see. Most of the Irish is like that
-whether they is kitchen mechanics or what. After a while she says,
-pouring me out some more coffee and handing me a little glass jar full
-of watermelon rinds boiled in with molasses and things, she says:
-
-"And ain't that the dangerous thing to work at, though!"
-
-"It is," I says, and says nothing further.
-
-She sets down and folds her arms like she was thinking about it,
-watching my hands all the time as if she was looking for scars where
-something slipped when I done that agnostic work. Finally she says with
-a sigh:
-
-"Sure, and it's dangerous! Me brother Patrick was kilt at it in the old
-country. He was the most vinturesome lad of thim all!"
-
-She was putting up a stiff front, and for a minute I don't know whether
-she's stringing me or I'm stringing her. The Irish is like that. So
-being through eating I says:
-
-"Did it fly up and hit him?"
-
-She looks at me scornful and tosses her chin up and says:
-
-"No. He fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what one of them
-is, after!"
-
-"What is it, then?" says I.
-
-"Then you _don't_ know," says she; and the next thing I knew I'd been
-eased out the back door and she was grinning at me through the crack of
-it with superiousness all over her face.
-
-So I was walking slow around towards the front thinking to myself how
-the Irish was a great people; and shall I go to Chicago and maybe get a
-job sailing on the lakes till navigation closes, or shall I go back to
-Omaha and work in the railroad yards again, which I don't like much, or
-shall I go on down to Saint Looey just to see what's doing. And then I
-thinks: "Billy, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave
-you asleep with nothing over you but a barb wire fence this morning, and
-what are you going to do now? First thing you know you'll be a regular
-hobo, which some folks can't distinguish you ain't now." And then I
-thinks I'll go down to the river and take a swim and lazy around in the
-grass a while and think things over and maybe something will happen.
-Anyways, you can always join the army. And just when I was thinking that
-I got by one of them naked stone heathens that was squirting water out
-of a sea shell and a guy comes down the front steps on the jump and nabs
-me by the coat collar. I seen he was a doctor or else a piano tuner by
-the satchel he dropped when he grabbed me.
-
-"Did you come out of this house?" he says.
-
-"I did," I says, wondering what next.
-
-"Back in you goes," he says, marching me towards the front steps.
-"They've got smallpox in there."
-
-I liked to a-jumped loose when he said that, but he twisted my coat
-collar and dug his thumbs into my neck and I seen they wasn't no use
-pulling back. If a guy that's knocking around mixes up with one of the
-solid citizens the magistrate's going to give him the worst of it on
-principle. I ain't no hobo and never was, and never traveled much with
-none of them professional bums, but there has been times I had hard work
-making some people believe it. I seen I couldn't jerk away and I seen I
-couldn't fight and so I went along. He rung the door bell, and I says:
-
-"Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, doc."
-
-"No?" says he. And the door opened, and in we went. The girl that opened
-it, she drew back when she seen me.
-
-"Tell Professor Booth that Dr. Wilkins wants to see him," says the doc,
-not letting loose of me.
-
-And we stood there saying nothing till the per-fessor come in, which he
-did slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he stopped and took off a
-pair of thick glasses that was split in two like a mended show case, so
-he could see me better, and he says:
-
-"What is that you have there, Dr. Wilkins?"
-
-"A guest for you," says Dr. Wilkins, grinning all over himself. "I
-caught him leaving the house, and you being under quarantine and me
-being secretary to the board of health, I'll have to ask you to keep him
-here until we can get Miss Margery on her feet again," he says. Or they
-was words to that effect, as the lawyers asks you.
-
-"Dear me," says Perfessor Booth, kind o' helplesslike.
-
-And he put his glasses on and took them off again, and come up close and
-looked at me like I was one of them amphimissourian specimens in a free
-museum. "Dear me," he says, looking worrieder and worrieder all the
-time. And then he went to the foot of the stairs and pipes out in a
-voice that was so flat-chested and bleached-out it would a-looked just
-like him if you could a-saw it--"Estelle," he says, "O Estelle!"
-
-I thinks the perfessor is one of them folks that can maybe do a lot
-of high-class thinking, but has got to have some one tell 'em what the
-answer is. But I doped him out wrong as I seen later on.
-
-Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big
-brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no
-spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her
-face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was
-a kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had
-hair down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was
-a girl or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me
-shiver, while the doctor and the per-fessor jaws about whose fault it is
-the smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening
-she says to the perfessor: "You had better go back to your laboratory."
-And the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him.
-
-"What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?" the kid asks her.
-
-"What would _you_ suggest, William Dear?" asks his aunt. I ain't feeling
-very comfortable, and I was getting all ready just to natcherally bolt
-out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't be
-no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the smallpox.
-Fur I had ricolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been vaccinated
-a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsory medical advice, me being
-temporary engaged in repair work on the city pavements through a mistake
-in the police court.
-
-William Dear looks at me when his aunt put it up to him just as solemn
-as if it was the day of judgment and his job was separating the fatted
-calves from the goats and the prodigals, and he says:
-
-"Don't you think, Aunt Estelle, we better cut his hair and bathe him and
-get him some clothes the first thing?"
-
-"William is my friend," thinks I, and I seen right off he was one of
-them serious kids that you can't tell what is going on inside their
-heads.
-
-So she calls James, which was the butler, and James he buttled me into a
-bathroom the like of which I never see before; and he buttled me into a
-suit of somebody's clothes and into a room at the top of the house next
-to his'n, and then he come back and buttled a razor and a comb and brush
-at me; him being the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he
-informs me that me not being respectable I will eat alone in the kitchen
-after the servants is done. People has made them errors about me before.
-And I looks around the room and I thinks to myself that this is all
-right so far as it has went. But is these four walls, disregarding
-the rest of the house, to be my home, and them only? Not, thinks I, if
-little Billy knows it. It was not me that invited myself to become the
-guest of this family; and if I got to be a guest I be damned if I don't
-be one according to Hoyle's rules of etiquette or I'll quit the job.
-Will I stay in this one room? Not me. Suppose the perfessor takes it
-next? And then William Dear? And suppose when William Dear gets through
-with it he gives it to Aunt Estelle? Am I to waste the golden hours
-when, maybe, my country needs me, just for accommodation? But I thinks
-it's all right for a day or two and then I'll leave my regrets and go on
-down to Saint Looey or somewheres. And then James he buttles back into
-the room like a funeral procession and says the perfessor says he wants
-to see me in the laboratory.
-
-That was a big room and the darndest looking room I ever see, and it
-smelt strong enough to chase a Hungarian pig sticker out of a Chicago
-slaughter house. It smelt like a drug store had died of old age and got
-buried in a glue factory. I never seen so much scientific effusions and
-the things to hold 'em in mixed up in one place before. They must of
-been several brands of science being mixed up there all to once. They
-was dinky little stoves, they was glass jars of all shapes and sizes
-labeled with Dago names standing around on shelves like in one of them
-Dutch delicatessen stores; they was straight glass tubes and they was
-glass tubes that had the spinal contortions; they was bones and they
-was whole skeletons, and they was things that looked like whisky stills;
-they was a bookcase full of bugs and butterflies against one wall; they
-was chunks of things that might have been human for all I know floating
-around in vats like pickled pork in a barrel; they was beer schooners
-with twisted spouts to them; they was microscopes and telescopes and
-twenty-seven shapes and sizes of knives; they was crates of stuff that
-was unpacked and crates that wasn't; and they was tables with things
-just piled and spilled over 'em, every which way, and the looks of
-everything was dirty on account of the perfessor not allowing any one in
-there but himself and Miss Estelle and William. And whether you knowed
-anything about them different brands of science or not you could see the
-perfessor was one of them nuts that's always starting to do things and
-then leaving them go and starting something else. It looked as if the
-operating room of an emergency hospital and a blacksmith shop and a
-people's free museum and a side show full of freaks, snakes and oneeyed
-calves had all gone out and got drunk together, all four of them, and
-wandered into a cremation plant to sleep off that souse; and when they
-woke up they couldn't tell which was which nor nothing else except
-they had a bad taste in their mouth and was sentenced to stay there
-unseparated and unhappy and unsociable in each other's company for
-evermore. And every time you turned around you stepped on something new,
-and if you saw a rat or a lizard or a spider you better let him alone
-for how was you going to tell he was dead or alive till he crawled up
-you?
-
-The perfessor, he was setting over by a window, and he pushed out
-another chair for me and he says sit down.
-
-"You are a gentleman of leisure?" he says, with a grin; or words to that
-effect.
-
-"I work at that sometimes," I told him, "although it ain't rightly my
-trade."
-
-"Biddy Malone says you're an agnostic," he says, looking at me close.
-It won't do, I thinks, to spring none of them agnostic gags on him, so I
-says nothing.
-
-"I'm one myself," he says.
-
-"Regular," I asks him, "or just occasional?" He kind o' grins again, and
-I thinks: "Billy, you're making a hit somehow."
-
-Then he says, like he was apologizing to someone about something: "Being
-interested in sociology and the lower classes in general, I sent for you
-to get some first-hand observations on your train of mind," he says. Or
-it was words like them. "I'm a sociologist," he says.
-
-I seen I made a hit before and I thinks I'll push my luck, so I swells
-up and says:
-
-"I'm a kind of sociologist myself."
-
-"Hum," he says, thoughtful-like. "Indeed? And your itinerant mode of
-subsistence is persecuted in pursuit of your desire to study knowledge
-of the human specimen and to observe wisdom as to the ways they live
-in the underworld," he says. Or it was words to that effect. I wish I'd
-a-had him wrote them words down. Then I'd a-had 'em just right now. I
-seen a bunch of good words help a man out of a hole before this. Words
-has always been more or less my admiration; you can never tell what one
-of them long gazaboos is going to do till you spring it on somebody. So
-I says:
-
-"That's me, perfessor. I likes to float around and see what's doing."
-
-Then he tells me that sociology was how the criminal classes and the
-lower classes in general was regarded by the scientific classes, only
-it's a difficult brand of science to get next to, he says, on account
-of the lower classes like me being mostly broke out with environment he
-says, unbeknownst even to theirselves. He's not what you would call a
-practicing sociologist all the time, being afraid, I suppose, he would
-catch it if he got too close to it; he's just one of the boys that
-writes about it, so as both the lower classes and the scientific classes
-won't make no bad breaks, he says.
-
-But what he wants of me just now ain't got nothing to do with that, he
-says. He's been making experiments with all kinds of canned victuals,
-that is put up with acid that eats holes in your stomach, he says, and
-so long as I'm going to be a guest he's going to mix some of them acids
-in my chuck and weigh me after each meal. He says I'll start slow and
-easy and there won't be nothing dangerous about it. He's been practicing
-on William Dear and Miss Estelle, which I suppose it was the acids got
-into her smile, but he's going to give them a rest, them being naturally
-delicate. I ain't got no kick, I thinks, and I'm going to leave this
-place in a day or two anyhow. Besides, I always was intrusted in
-scientific things and games of chance of all kinds.
-
-But I didn't leave in a few days, and the first thing I knew I'd been
-there a week. I had pretty much the run of the house, and I eat my meals
-with Biddy Malone, the only uncomfortable feature of being a guest being
-that Miss Estelle, soon as she found out I was an agnostic (whatever
-brand of science that is, which I never found out to this day, just
-having come across the word accidental), she begun to take charge of my
-religion and intellectuals and things like that. She used to try to cure
-the perfessor, too, but she had to give it up for a bad job, Biddy says.
-
-Biddy, she says Mrs. Booth's been over to her mother's while this
-smallpox has been going on; which I hadn't knowed they was a Mrs. Booth
-before. And Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, too.
-They's been a lot of talk, anyhow, Biddy says, about Mrs. Booth and some
-musician fellow around town. But Biddy she likes Mrs. Booth, and even if
-it was so who could blame her?
-
-Things ain't right around that house since Miss Estelle's been there,
-which the perfessor's science, though worrying to the nerves, ain't cut
-much ice till about four years ago when Miss Estelle come.
-
-But Mrs. Booth she's getting where she can't stand it much longer, Biddy
-says. I didn't blame her none for feeling sore about things.
-
-You can't expect a woman that's pretty and knows it, and ain't more'n
-thirty-two or three years old, and don't look it, to be interested in
-mummies and pickled snakes and the preservation of the criminal classes
-and chemical profusions, not _all_ the time. And maybe when she'd ask
-the perfessor if he wasn't going to take her to the opera he'd ask her
-did she know them Germans had invented a newfangled disease or that it
-was a mistake about them Austrians hiding their heads in the sand when
-they are scared, which any fool that's ever seen 'em working around a
-coal mine ought to of knowed. It wouldn't a-been so bad if the perfessor
-had just picked out one brand of science and stuck to it. She could
-a-got used to any one kind and knowed what to expect. But maybe this
-week the perfessor's bug would be ornithography, and he'd be chasing
-sparrows all over the front lawn; and next week it would be geneology
-and he'd be trying to grow bananas on a potato vine. Then, he'd get
-worried about the nigger problem in the south, and settle it all
-up scientific and explain how ethnology done the whole damn thing,
-lynchings and all, and it never could be straightened out till it was
-done scientific. Every new gag that come out the perfessor took up with
-it, Biddy says; one time he'd be fussing around with gastronomy through
-a telescope and the next he'd be putting astrology into William's
-breakfast food.
-
-They was a row on all the time about the kids, which they hadn't been
-till Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth she said they could kill their own
-selves if they wanted to, but she had more right than anybody to say
-what went into William's digestive ornaments, and she didn't want him
-brought up scientific nohow, but just human. He was always making notes
-on William, which was how William come to take so little interest in
-life after a while. But Miss Estelle, she egged him on. She seen he
-didn't have no sense about his money, which had been left to him when
-he was a sure enough perfessor in a college before he quit and went nuts
-and everything begun to go wrong between him and Mrs. Booth, so Miss
-Estelle she took to running his money herself; but she seen likewise
-that when it come to writing articles about William's insides and
-intellectuals the perfessor he was a genius. Well, maybe he was; but
-Biddy wouldn't let him try none of them laboratory gags on her though
-she just as soon be hypnotized and telepathed as not just to humor him.
-Miss Estelle, she eat what the perfessor give her, and after a while
-she says she'll take charge of the children's education herself, their
-mother being a frivolous young thing, and it was too bad, she says, a
-genius like him couldn't a-mar-ried a noble woman who would a-understood
-his great work for humanity and sympathized with it. So while the
-perfessor filled William and Miss Margery up on new discovered food and
-weighed 'em and probed 'em and sterilized 'em and did everything else
-but put 'em in glass bottles, Miss Estelle she laid out courses of
-reading matter for them and tended to their religion and intellectuals
-and things like that. I reckon they never was two kids more completely
-educated, inside and out. It hadn't worked much on Miss Margery yet, her
-being younger than William. But William took it hard and serious, being
-more like his father's family, and it made bumps all over his head. I
-reckon by the time William was ten years old he knew more than a whole
-high school, and every time that boy cut his finger he just naturally
-bled science. But somehow he wasn't very chipper, and whenever the
-perfessor would notice that he and Miss Estelle would change treatment.
-But Biddy liked William just the same, they hadn't spoiled his
-disposition none; and she said he seen a lot of things his aunt never
-would a-seen, William did. One day when I first was a guest I says to
-his aunt, I says:
-
-"Miss Booth, William looks kind o' pale to me like he was getting too
-much bringin' up to the square inch."
-
-She acted like she didn't care for no outsiders butting in, but I
-seen she'd noticed it, too, and she liked William, too, in a kind of
-scientific sort of a way, and she says in a minute:
-
-"What do you suggest?"
-
-"Why," says I, "what a kid like that needs is to roll around and play in
-the dirt now and then, and yell and holler."
-
-She went away like she was kind o' mad about it; but about an hour later
-the perfessor sent word for me to come down to the labaratory, and Miss
-Estelle was there.
-
-"We have decided that there is something in what you say," says the
-perfessor. "Even the crudest and most untrained intellectuals has now
-and then a bright hunch from which us men of special knowledge may take
-a suggestion," he says, or words to that effect. And they was a whole
-lot more, and they was more scientific than that. I didn't know I'd done
-nothing important like that, but when he told me all about it in science
-talk I seen I made a ten strike, though I should of thought anyone could
-of saw all William needed was just to be allowed to be a little more
-human.
-
-But what do you think--I never was so jarred in my life as I was the
-next day. I seen Miss Estelle spreading an oilcloth on the floor, and
-then the butler come in and poured a lot of nice, clean, sterilized dirt
-on to it. And then she sent for William.
-
-"William Dear," she says, "we have decided that what you need is more
-recreation mixed in along with your intellectuals. You ought to romp and
-play in the dirt, close to the soil and nature, as is right for a youth
-of your age. For an hour each day right after you study your biology and
-before you take up your Euclid you will romp and play in this dirt like
-a child of nature, and frolic. You may now begin to frolic, William, and
-James will gather up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic." Or it was
-words to that effect.
-
-But William didn't frolic none. He seen things they didn't. He just
-looked at that dirt, and he come the nearest to smiling I ever seen
-William come; and then he come the nearest to getting mad I ever seen
-William come. And then he says very serious:
-
-"Aunt Estelle," he says, "I shall _not_ frolic. I have come to that
-place in my discretions where my intellectuals got to work some for
-theirselves. It is them intellectuals which you have trained that
-refuses to be made ridiculous one hour each day between the biology
-lesson and the Euclid lesson with sand." Those was not William's exact
-words, which he always had down as slick as his pa, but they was what he
-meant. William was a serious kid, but he seen things his aunt never had
-no idea of. And he never did frolic, neither, and all that nice clean
-dirt had to be throwed out by the stable amongst the unscientific dirt
-again.
-
-That was before Biddy Malone told me about why it was that the perfessor
-and his wife didn't get along well, and as I was saying I didn't
-blame her none, Miss Estelle having finally beat her out about her own
-children, too; and she feeling she didn't scarcely own 'em no more, and
-they hardly daring to kiss their own mamma with Miss Estelle in the room
-because of germs, so Biddy says. Biddy, she says the perfessor is all
-right, he's just a fool and don't mean no harm by his scientific gags,
-but Miss Estelle she's a she-devil and takes that way to make herself
-the boss of that house. If she wasn't there Mrs. Booth would have been
-boss and never let the perfessor know it and things wouldn't a-been so
-bad. Which shows that so long as every house got to have a boss it ain't
-so much difference if it's a him or her so long as it ain't a relation.
-
-The perfessor always eats his dinner in one of them coats with the
-open-face vest to it, and one night I thinks I will, too. When you is in
-Rome you does like the Dagos does, I thinks.
-
-So I sends for James along before dinner time and I says: "Where is my
-dinky clothes to eat dinner in?" I says.
-
-James he says I'm to continue to eat dinner by myself. Which is all
-right, I tells him, but I'll do it in style or I'll quit the job. So he
-goes and asks Miss Estelle, and she comes in with that lemon grin on,
-but looking, too, like I done something to please her.
-
-"Is it true," she says, "that already the effects of a refined
-environment has overcome defections in early training and a misfortune
-in ancestral hereditary?" she says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-"It is true," I says. And the perfessor's being too small she made James
-give me his'n. But when I seen all that shirt front it made me feel
-kind of uncomfortable, too. So I takes them off again and puts on my old
-striped sweater and puts on the vest and coat over that, and the effect
-of them red stripes running crossways is something gorgeous with one of
-them open-face vests over it.
-
-So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
-perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
-got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves,
-and most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got
-hold of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest
-book! It was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in
-real talk down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what
-it was about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's
-never been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been
-going against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there
-ain't nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli
-stories I read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart
-movie or a Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man
-of that story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross
-circling around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It
-wasn't for nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on
-everybody gets as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands
-when another savings bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him.
-And the snakes wiggles all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one
-time when they cleaned out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns
-gets its drinking water from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die
-and can't make it; and their ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and
-they go by him in the moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a
-frosty morning out of an engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to
-that story, too. I bet the fellow that doped that out had been on an
-awful bat. I like to of talked with that nut. They was a fellow named
-Looney Hogan use to have them phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what
-he saw after he had 'em. Looney was awful good company and I use to like
-to hear him tell what he seen and what he thinks he seen, but he walked
-off of a grain barge up to Duluth when he was asleep one night and he
-never did wake up.
-
-Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
-ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the
-nuts that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two
-guys can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has
-seen different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long
-time there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I
-wakes up sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room
-that opens right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors
-like is on to a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's,
-and she says like she was choked up:
-
-"But I _must_ see them before we go, Henry."
-
-And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
-
-"But, my God!" he says, "suppose you catch it yourself, Jane!"
-
-I set up straight then, and I would of give a good deal to see through
-that door, because Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name.
-
-"You mean suppose _you_ get it," she says. I like to of seen the look
-she must of give him to fit in with the way she says that _you_. He
-didn't say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down
-some, and she says, low and slow: "Henry, wouldn't you love me if I
-_did_ get it? Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?"
-
-"Oh, of course," he says, "of course I would. Nothing can change the way
-I feel. _You_ know that." He said it quick enough, all right, just the
-way they do in a show, but it sounded _too much_ like it does on the
-stage to of suited me if _I'd_ been her. I seen folks overdo them little
-talks before this.
-
-I listens some more, and then I see how it is. This is that musician
-feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with
-him all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that.
-They may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em
-don't like the kids. I thinks to myself: "It must be late. I bet they
-was already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here
-first so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She just simply couldn't
-get by. But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see
-Margery with that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night?
-And even if she tries just to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot
-he'll wake up and she'll be ketched at it."
-
-And then I thinks, suppose she _is_ ketched at it? What of it? Ain't a
-woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key,
-even if they is a quarantine on to it, and see her kids? And if she is
-ketched seeing them, how would anyone know she was going to run off? And
-ain't she got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring
-her over from her mother's house, even if it is a little late?
-
-Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby
-I better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated
-me purty white. And then I thinks: "I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle.
-So fur as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's
-coming to him, nohow. And as fur _her_, you got to let some people find
-out what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do _I_ come in at?"
-
-But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my
-shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors,
-and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward
-and forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and
-her undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's
-kind o' hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids,
-and she's begging off fur more time ginerally.
-
-Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She
-was a peach.
-
-And I couldn't blame her so much, either, when I thought of Miss Estelle
-and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and
-years world without end.
-
-Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right
-off that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to
-keep a woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married
-to her. But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right
-when they ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown,
-pointed beards fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too
-much like a woman's. Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of
-pie at the lunch counter and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big.
-She was setting in front of a table, twisting her fingers together, and
-he was walking up and down. I seen he was mad and trying not to show it,
-and I seen he was scared of the smallpox and trying not to show that,
-too. And just about that time something happened that kind o' jolted me.
-
-They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got
-a high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on
-the other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which
-was a bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy.
-First I thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and
-Henry didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the
-room, with their back to it.
-
-Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair
-does. Will she squeak, I wonders?
-
-"Don't you be a fool, Jane," says the Henry feller.
-
-Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak.
-
-"A fool?" asks Jane, and laughs. "And I'm not a fool to think of going
-with you at all, then?"
-
-That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and
-part of a crumpled-up coat tail.
-
-"But I _am_ going with you, Henry," says Jane. And she gets up just like
-she is going to put her arms around him.
-
-But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the
-perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes
-like he's just woke up recent, and he's got a grin on to his face that
-makes him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time.
-
-"Excuse me," says the perfessor.
-
-They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane
-never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But
-if they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and
-having a fit. They looks at him and he just sets there and grins at
-them.
-
-But after a while Jane, she says:
-
-"Well, now you _know!_ What are you going to do about it?"
-
-Henry, he starts to say something, too. But----
-
-"Don't start anything," says the perfessor to him. "_You_ aren't going
-to do anything." Or they was words to that effect.
-
-"Professor Booth," he says, seeing he has got to say something or else
-Jane will think the worse of him, "I am----"
-
-"Shut up," says the perfessor, real quiet. "I'll tend to you in a minute
-or two. _You_ don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me and
-my wife."
-
-When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something
-into him beside science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised
-herself. But she says nothing, except:
-
-"What are you going to do, Frederick?" And she laughs one of them mean
-kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a
-little more, and says: "What _can_ you do, Frederick?"
-
-Frederick, he says, not excited a bit:
-
-"There's quite a number of things I _could_ do that would look bad when
-they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of you
-forces it on to me." Then he says:
-
-"You _did_ want to see the children, Jane?"
-
-She nodded.
-
-"Jane," he says, "can't you see I'm the better man?"
-
-The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and
-he didn't want to see her go. "Look at him," he says, pointing to the
-feller with the brown beard, "he's scared stiff right now."
-
-Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way
-like Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping
-ice every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no
-blood on the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making
-up his mind about something, too. Jane, she says:
-
-"_You_ a better man? _You?_ You think you've been a model husband just
-because you've never beaten me, don't you?"
-
-"No," says the perfessor, "I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been
-a worse fool, maybe, than if I _had_ beaten you." Then he turns to Henry
-and he says:
-
-"Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in
-the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me." With which he gets
-up and trots out, and I heard him running down stairs to his labertory.
-
-Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane
-a-looking at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some
-kind of a strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't
-do it. And Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects
-it. And me, I'm getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, "What is
-that there perfessor up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one
-else. He is looney, that perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I
-wonder if they is anyone that ain't looney sometimes? I been around the
-country a good 'eal, too, and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable
-things, and I never seen no one that wasn't more or less looney when
-the _search us the femm_ comes into the case. Which is a Dago word I got
-out'n a newspaper and it means: Who was the dead gent's lady friend?'
-And we all set and sweat and got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor
-to come back.
-
-"Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin on to his face and a pill
-box in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and
-chilly: "Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science.
-All the same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she
-isn't worth fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I
-made 'em myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it
-gets to working well--which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken.
-The other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one,
-I keep her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait
-long enough after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town."
-
-Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of
-it. When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek
-on the inside like a piece of sandpaper. He was scared, Henry was.
-
-"But _you_ know which is which," Jane sings out. "The thing's not fair!"
-
-"That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around
-each other herself," says the perfessor, "and then pick out one for him
-and one for me. _You_ don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is the
-favorite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I want
-him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking it.
-In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house that
-he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal without
-I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and respectable. The
-effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one can tell the
-difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood anywhere. I will
-be found dead in my house in the morning with heart failure, or else he
-will be picked up dead in the street, far enough away so as to make no
-talk." Or they was words to that effect.
-
-He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder
-if I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: "No, it's
-between them three." Beside, I want to see which one is going to get
-that there loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chance of
-all kinds, and when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I
-been misjudging him all this time.
-
-Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick.
-
-"I won't touch 'em," she says. "I refuse to be a party to any murder of
-that kind."
-
-"Huh? You do?" says the perfessor. "But the time when you might have
-refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already.
-You're really the _main_ party to it.
-
-"But do as you like," he goes on. "I'm giving him more chance than I
-ought to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face
-the music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane.
-If you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out
-these pills, one to him and then one to me. _You_ must kill one or the
-other of us, or else _I'll_ kill _him_ the other way. And _you_ had
-better pick one out for him, because _I_ know which is which. Or else
-let him pick one out for himself," he says.
-
-Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he
-hadn't. I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry
-inside.
-
-Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she
-looked at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: "Fur God's
-sake, spunk up some, and take one if it _does_ kill you!" Then she says
-out loud: "Henry, if you die I will die, too!"
-
-And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If
-she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur
-Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or
-not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor.
-What she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: "Mebby I better jump
-in now and stop this thing." And then I thinks agin: "No, it is between
-them three and Providence." Beside, I'm anxious to see who is going
-to get that pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling just like
-Providence hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with
-his own hands. And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right
-and wrong was like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the
-wrong, but if I had of been in there running them pills in Providence's
-place I would of let them all off kind o' easy.
-
-Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is just looking at it and shaking.
-
-The perfessor reaches for his watch, and don't find none. Then he
-reaches over and takes Henry's watch, and opens it, and lays it on the
-table. "A quarter past one," he says. "Mr. Murray, are you going to make
-me shoot you after all? I didn't want any blood nor any scandal," he
-says. "It's up to you," he says, "whether you want to take that pill and
-get your even chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting way
-is sure, but looks bad in the papers. The pill way don't implicate any
-one," he says. "Which?" And he pulls a gun.
-
-Henry he looks at the gun.
-
-Then he looks at the pill.
-
-Then he swallows the pill.
-
-The perfessor puts his'n into his mouth. But he don't swallow it. He
-looks at the watch, and he looks at Henry. "Sixteen minutes past one,"
-he says. "_Mr. Murray will be dead at exactly fourteen minutes to two_.
-I got the harmless one. I can tell by the taste of the chemicals."
-
-And he put the pieces out into his hand to show that he chewed his'n
-up, not being willing to wait fifteen minutes for a verdict from his
-digestive ornaments. Then he put 'em back into his mouth and chewed 'em
-and swallowed 'em down like it was coughdrops.
-
-Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make
-fur the door, but he falls down on to a sofa.
-
-"This is murder," he says, weaklike. And he tries to get up agin, but
-this time he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
-
-"It's a dern short fifteen minutes," I thinks to myself. "That perfessor
-must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it
-to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes."
-
-When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top
-of him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was
-turned up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she just
-gurgles in her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He
-ketches her. "Sit up, Jane," he says, with that Estelle look on to his
-face, "and let us have a talk."
-
-She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty
-has got. But she can't look away from him.
-
-And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor
-had only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of
-loosened up and yelled, and I would of. I just _needed_ to fetch a yell.
-But Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling just like
-he'd _always_ been there, and I'd _always_ been staring into that room,
-and the last word anyone spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years
-ago.
-
-"You're a murderer," says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in
-that stare-eyed way. "You're a _murderer,_" she says, saying it like she
-was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one.
-
-"Murder!" says the perfessor. "Did you think I was going to run any
-chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted
-through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and
-sugar. He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing
-you that the fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine
-woman like you, Jane," he says.
-
-Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wildlike, her
-voice clucking like a hen does, and she says:
-
-"It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a
-murder! Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was," she
-says. Or they was words to that effect.
-
-And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder
-than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but just wasn't
-no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry.
-Women is made unlike most other animals in many ways. When they is
-foolish about a man they can stand to have that man killed a good 'eal
-better than to have him showed up ridiculous right in front of them.
-They will still be crazy about the man that's killed, but they don't
-never forgive the lobster. I seen that work out before this. You can be
-most any thing else and get away with it, but if you're a lobster it's
-all off even if you can't help being a lobster. And when the perfessor
-kicks Henry in the ribs and he comes to and sneaks out, Jane she never
-even looks at him.
-
-"Jane," says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, "you got a lot to
-forgive me. But do you s'pose I learned enough sense so we can make a go
-of it if we start over again?"
-
-But Jane never said nothing.
-
-"Jane," he says, "Estelle is going back to New England to stay there for
-good."
-
-She begins to take a little interest then. "Did Estelle tell you so?"
-she says.
-
-"No," says the perfessor, "Estelle don't know it yet. But she is. I'm
-going to tell her in the mornin'."
-
-But she still hates him. She's making herself. She wouldn't of been a
-female woman if she'd of been coaxed that easy. Pretty soon she says,
-"I'm going upstairs and go to bed. I'm tired." And she went out looking
-like the perfessor was a perfect stranger.
-
-After she left the perfessor set there quite a while and he was looking
-tired out, too; and there wasn't no mistake about me. I was asleep all
-through my legs, and I kept a wondering to myself, suppose them pills
-had one of them been loaded sure enough, which one would of got it? And
-when the perfessor leaves I says to myself, I reckon I better light a
-rag. So I goes to the front window and opens it easy; but I thinks
-about Henry's watch on the table, every one else having forgot it, and I
-thinks I better hunt him up and give it to him.
-
-And then I thinks why should I give him pain, for that watch will always
-remind him of an unpleasant time he once had.
-
-And if it hadn't been for me sitting in that window looking at that
-watch I wouldn't a-been writing this, for I wouldn't of been in jail
-now.
-
-I tried to explain my intentions was all right, but the police says
-it ain't natural to be seen coming out of a front window at two in the
-morning in a striped sweater and a dinky dinner suit with a gold watch
-in your hand; if you are hunting the owner you are doing it peculiar.
-
-One of them reporters he says to me to write the truth about how I got
-into jail; nobody else never done it and stuck to facts. But this is
-the truth so help me; it was all on account of that watch, which my
-intentions with regard to was perfectly honorable, and all that goes
-before leads up to that watch. There wasn't no larceny about it; it was
-just another mistake on the part of the police. If I'd of been stealing
-wouldn't I stole the silverware a week before that?
-
-The more I travel around the more dumb people I see that can't
-understand how an honest and upright citizen can get into circumstantial
-evidence and still be a honest and upright citizen.
-
-
-
-
-X.--The Penitent
-
-
-|You, who are not married," said the penitent, "cannot know--can never
-realize----"
-
-He hesitated, his glance wandering over the evidences of luxury, the
-hints of Oriental artistry, the esthetic effectiveness of Dr. Eustace
-Beaulieu's studio.
-
-"Proceed," said Dr. Beaulieu, suavely. "What I may know is not the
-important thing. You do not address yourself to me, but through me
-to that principle of Harmony in the Cosmos which is Spirit--Ultimate
-Spirit--which we call God. All that I can do is assist you to get into
-Accord with the Infinite again, help you to vibrate in unison with the
-Cosmic All."
-
-"You are right; I do not look to you," said the penitent, "for ease of
-mind or spirit." And a fleeting half-smile showed in his eyes, as if
-some ulterior thought gave a certain gusto to the manner in which he
-stressed the pronoun _you_. But the rest of his scarred and twisted
-face was expressionless, beneath the thick mask of a heavy gray-streaked
-beard that grew almost to his eyes.
-
- * Author's Note: "The Penitent" was suggested by two poems,
- "A Forgiveness," by Browning, and "The Portrait," by Owen
- Meredith.
-
-Dr. Eustace Beaulieu was the leader--nay, the founder--of one of the
-many, many cults that have sprung up in New York City and elsewhere in
-America during the past three or four decades. An extraordinary number
-of idle, well-to-do women gathered at his studio two or three times a
-week, and listened to his expositions of ethics _de luxe_, served with
-just the proper dash of Oriental mysticism and European pseudoscience.
-He was forty, he was handsome, with magnetic brown eyes and the long
-sensitive fingers of a musician; he was eloquent, he was persuasive, he
-was prosperous.
-
-When he talked of the Zend-Avesta, when he spoke of the Vedantic
-writings, when he touched upon the Shinto worship of the Nipponese, when
-he descanted upon the likeness of the Christian teachings to the tenets
-of Buddhism, when he revealed the secrets of the Yogi philosophy, when
-he hinted his knowledge of the priestly craft of older Egypt and of
-later Eleusis, his feminine followers thrilled in their seats as a
-garden of flowers that is breathed upon by a Summer wind--they vibrated
-to his words and his manner and his restrained fervor with a faint
-rustling of silken garments and a delicate fragrance of perfume.
-
-Men were not, as a rule, so enthusiastic concerning Dr. Eustace Beaulieu
-and his cult; there were few of them at his lectures, there were few of
-them enrolled in the classes where he inducted his followers into the
-more subtle phases of ethics, where he led them to the higher planes
-of occultism, for a monetary consideration; few of them submitted
-themselves to him for the psychic healing that was one of his major
-claims to fame. And this scarred and bearded stranger, who limped, was
-one of the very few men who had ever intimated a desire to bare his soul
-to Dr. Beaulieu, to tell his story and receive spiritual ministration,
-in the manner of the confessional. These confessionals, after the public
-lectures, had been recently introduced by Dr. Beaulieu, and they were
-giving him, he felt, a firmer grip upon his flock--his disciples, he did
-not hesitate to call them.
-
-"I repeat," said the penitent--if he was a repentant man, indeed--"no
-bachelor can know what love really is. He cannot conceive of what the
-daily habit of association with a woman who seems made for him, and for
-him alone, may mean to a man. My love for my wife was almost worship.
-She was my wife indeed, I told myself, and she it was for whom I worked.
-
-"For I did work, worked well and unselfishly. Every man must have
-some work. Some do it from necessity, but I did it because I loved
-the work--and the woman--and thus I gained a double reward. I was a
-politician, and something more. I think I may say that I was a patriot,
-too. The inheritor of wealth and position, I undertook to clear the city
-in which I lived, and which my forefathers had helped to build, of
-the ring of grafters who were making the name of the town a byword
-throughout the nation. The details of that long and hard strife are not
-pertinent. I fought with something more than boldness and determination;
-I fought with a joy in every struggle, because I fought for something
-more than the world knew. The world could not see that my inspiration
-was in my home; that in the hours of battle my blood sang joyously with
-the thought of--her! Was it any wonder that I worked well?
-
-"One day, as I sat in my office downtown, the thought of her drew me so
-strongly that I determined to surprise her by coming home unexpectedly
-early. It was summer, and we were living in our country home, an
-old-fashioned stone residence a couple of miles from the outskirts of
-the city. The house was situated at the edge of a park that was, indeed,
-almost virgin forest, for the whole estate had been in my family for
-nearly a hundred years.
-
-"I determined to surprise my wife, and at the same time to take the rare
-relaxation of a suburban walk. I was soon outside the city limits, and
-through the zone where vacant lots broaden into fields; and then I left
-the road, cutting across the fields and finally plunging into the woods
-on my own place. Thus it was that I approached the house from the rear
-and came suddenly out of the timber into my own orchard. I seldom walked
-from town, and it was a good long hour before my usual time of arrival,
-although in that sheltered and woody place the dusk was already
-gathering in.
-
-"As I entered the orchard a man made a hurried exit from a vine-wreathed
-pergola where my wife often sat to read, cast one look at me, cleared
-the orchard fence, and made off through the woods, disappearing at once
-among the boles of the trees.
-
-"He had not turned his full face toward me at any time, but had shielded
-it with an upflung arm; from the moment he broke cover until his
-disappearance there had passed less time than it takes to tell it, and I
-was scarcely to be blamed if I was left guessing as to his identity, for
-the moment. For the moment, I say.
-
-"There had been so much fright in his manner that I stood and looked
-after him. The thought came to me that perhaps here was a man who had
-had an affair with one of my servants. I turned toward the pergola and
-met--my wife!
-
-"She was a beautiful woman, always more beautiful in her moments of
-excitement. She confronted me now with a manner which I could not help
-but admire. I trusted her so that she might readily have passed off a
-much more anomalous situation with an easy explanation. But in her face
-I read a deliberate wish to make me feel the truth.
-
-"I looked at her long, and she returned the gaze unflinchingly. And
-I recognized her look for what it was. She had cast off the chains of
-deceit. Her glance was a sword of hatred, and the first open thrust of
-the blade was an intense pleasure to her. We both knew all without a
-word.
-
-"I might have killed her then. But I did not. I turned and walked toward
-the house; she followed me, and I opened the door; she preceded me
-inside. She paused again, as if gathering all her forces for a struggle;
-but I passed her in silence, and went upstairs to my own room.
-
-"And then began a strange period in my life. Shortly after this episode
-came a partial triumph of the reform element in my city; the grafters
-were ousted, and I found myself with more than a local reputation, and
-thrust into an office. My life was now even more of a public matter than
-before. We entertained largely. We were always in the public eye. Before
-our guests and in public we were always all that should be. But when
-the occasion was past, we would drop the mask, turn from each other with
-dumb faces, and go each our severed ways.
-
-"For a year this sort of life kept up. I still worked; but now I worked
-to forget. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, it was always
-as of some one who was dead. Or so I told myself, over and over again,
-until I believed it.
-
-"One day there was a close election. I was the successful candidate. I
-was to go to Congress. All evening and far into the night my wife and
-I played our parts well. But when the last congratulation had been
-received, and the last speech made, and the last friend had gone, and
-we were alone with each other once more, she turned to me with a look
-something like the one she had met me with on that summer evening a year
-before.
-
-"'I want to speak with you,' she said.
-
-"'Yes?'
-
-"They were the first words we had exchanged in that year, when not
-compelled by the necessities.
-
-"'What do you wish to speak about?' I asked her.
-
-"'You know,' she said, briefly. And I did know. There was little use
-trying to deny it.
-
-"'Why have you asked me no questions?' she said.
-
-"I would have made another attempt to pass the situation over without
-going into it, but I saw that that would be impossible. She had reached
-the place where she must speak. I read all this in her face. And looking
-at her closely with the first candid glance I had given her in that
-year, I saw that she had changed greatly, but she was still beautiful.
-
-"'I did not choose to open the subject with you,' I said; 'I thought
-that you would explain when you could stand it no longer. Evidently that
-time has come. You were to me like a dead person. If the dead have any
-messages for me, they must bring them to me unsolicited. It was not my
-place to hunt among the tombs.'
-
-"'No,' she said, 'let us be honest, since it is the last talk we may
-ever have together. Let us be frank with each other, and with ourselves.
-I was not like a dead person to you. The dead are dead, and I am not.
-You asked me no questions because you disdained me so. You despised
-me so--and it was sweet to you to make me feel the full weight of your
-scorn through this silence. It was better than killing me. Is that not
-the real reason?'
-
-"'Yes,' I admitted, 'that is it. That is the truth.' "'Listen,' she
-said, 'it would surprise you--would it not--to learn that I still love
-you--that I have loved you all along--that you are the only man I have
-ever really loved--that I love you now? All that is incredible to you,
-is it not?'
-
-"'Yes,' I said, 'it is. You must pardon me, but--it is incredible to
-me.'
-
-"'Well, it is true,' she said, and paused a moment. 'And I can tell you
-why it is true, and why--why--the--the other was true, too. You--you
-do not understand women,' she said. 'Sometimes I think if you were a
-smaller man, in some ways, you would understand them better. Sometimes
-I think that you are too--too big, somehow--ever to make a woman happy.
-Not too self-centered; you are not consciously selfish; you never mean
-to be. But you give, give, give the riches of your nature to people--to
-the world at large--instead of to those who should share them.
-
-"'Oh, I know--the fault is all mine! Another kind of woman--the right
-kind for you--the kind you thought I was--would not have asked for all
-that was a necessity for me; would have been big enough to have done
-without it; would have lost herself in your love for all humanity. That
-is the kind of woman you thought I was. And I tried to be. But I wasn't.
-I wasn't that big.
-
-"'I did sympathize with your work; I could understand it; I loved to
-hear you tell about it. But I loved it because it was you that told
-me about it. You didn't see that! You thought I was a goddess. It was
-enough for your nature to worship me; to set me upon a pedestal and to
-call me your inspiration; oh, you treated me well--you were faithful
-to me--you were generous! But you neglected me in a way that men do not
-understand; that some men will never understand. While you were giving
-your days and your nights, and every fiber of your brain and body, to
-what you called the cause of the people, you more and more forgot you
-had a wife. Again and again and again I tried to win you back to
-what you were when I married you--to the time when your cause was not
-all--but you wouldn't see; I couldn't make you feel.
-
-"'Then I thought I would show you that other men were not such fools as
-to overlook what was wasted on you. But you never noticed; you trusted
-me too much; you were too much engrossed. And then I began to hate you.
-I loved you more than I ever did before, and at the same time I hated
-you. Can you understand that? Do you see how women can hate and love at
-the same time? Well, they can.
-
-"'At last--for I was a fool--I took a lover!"
-
-"'What was his name?' I broke in.
-
-"'His name?' she cried; 'that does not matter! What matter if there was
-one of them, or two of them. That is nothing!--the name is nothing--they
-were nothing--nothing but tools; the symbols of my rage, of my hatred
-for you; whether I loved or hated you, you were all--always.'
-
-"'They were merely convenient clubs with which to murder my honor in the
-dark--is that it?' I said.
-
-"'Yes,' she said, 'that is it, if you choose to put it so.' And she
-spoke with a humility foreign to her nature.
-
-"'And what now?' I asked.
-
-"'Now,' she said, 'now that I have spoken; now that I have told you
-everything; now that I have told you that I have gone on loving you more
-and more and more--now--I am going to die.'
-
-"'You have not asked me to forgive you,' I said.
-
-"'No,' she replied. 'For what is forgiveness? I do not know exactly what
-that word means. It is supposed to wipe out something that has happened,
-is it not?--to make things the same as they were before! But it does not
-do that. That which has happened, has happened; and you and I know it.'
-
-"'You had better live,' I said; 'I no longer consider you worthless. I
-feel that you are worthy of my anger now.'
-
-"Her face cleared almost into something like joy.
-
-"'I have told the truth, and I raise myself from the depths of your
-scorn to the place where you can feel a hot rage against me?' she asked.
-
-"'Yes,' I said. And the light on her face was like that of which some
-women are capable when they are told that they are beloved.
-
-"'And if I die?' she asked.
-
-"'Who knows but that you might climb by it?' I said. 'Who knows but what
-your death might turn my anger to love again?' And with that I turned
-and left her there.
-
-"That night I sat all night in my study, and in the morning they brought
-me the news that she was dead. She must have used some poison. What, I
-do not know; and the physicians called it heart-failure. But what is the
-matter, Doctor?"
-
-"Nothing, nothing!" said Dr. Beaulieu. And he motioned for the narrator
-to proceed. But there were beads of perspiration upon the healer's
-forehead, and a pallor overspread his face.
-
-"I had condemned her to death," the penitent went on, "and she had been
-her own executioner. She had loved me; she had sinned against me;
-but she had always loved me; she had hated the flesh that sinned, and
-scorned it as much as I; her life was intolerable and she had been her
-own executioner.
-
-"The revulsion of feeling came. I loved her again; now that I had lost
-her. All that day I shut myself up, seeing no one; refusing to look
-at the dozens of telegrams that came pouring in from friends and
-acquaintances, thinking--thinking--thinking----
-
-"Night came again; and with it the word that the best friend I had was
-in the house; a friend of my college days, who had stood shoulder to
-shoulder with me in many a fight, then and since. He had come to be
-under the same roof with me in the hour of my bitterest bereavement,
-was the word he sent--how bitter now, he did not know. But
-he did not intrude upon the privacy of my grief. And I sat
-thinking--thinking--thinking--
-
-"Suddenly the idea came to me that I would go upstairs to the chamber
-where she was, and look at her once more. Quietly I stole up the stairs,
-and through the hushed, dim house, on into the gloomy room, lighted only
-by the candles at the head and foot of the curtained couch on which she
-lay.
-
-"In the room beyond, the watchers sat. I stole softly across the floor
-so as not to attract their attention; there was no one in the room
-with the body. I approached the couch, and with my hand put by the
-curtain----
-
-"Then I dropped it suddenly. I remembered a locket which she had
-formerly worn that had always had my picture in it, in the early days
-of our married life; a locket that had never left her neck, waking or
-sleeping. And I wondered----
-
-"I wondered something about women which no one has ever been able to
-tell me; not even a woman. I wondered if any light o' love had ever been
-able to make her feel anything like _real_ love, after all! I wondered
-if she had ever hugged the thought of her sin to her bosom, even as
-she had at first hugged the thought of our real love--hers and mine. I
-wondered if she had ever carried about with her a sentimental reminder
-of her lover, of any lover, as she had once done of her husband--and how
-long ago! I wondered how important a thing it had seemed to her, after
-all! She had reconciled herself to herself, with her death, and made
-me love her again. And I wondered to how great an extent she had
-ever fooled a lover into thinking she loved him! There are depths and
-contradictions and cross-currents in the souls of women that even women
-do not know, far less men--I wondered whose picture was in that locket!
-
-"I thrust my hand through the curtains of the bed again, and then jumped
-back.
-
-"I had felt something warm there.
-
-"Did she live, after all?
-
-"At the same instant I heard a movement on the other side of the bed. I
-went around.
-
-"My best friend was removing his hand from the curtains on the other
-side, and in his hand was the locket. It was his hand that I had felt.
-
-"We stared at each other. I spoke first, and in a whisper, so that the
-others in the next room, who had come to watch, should not hear.
-
-"'I came for that,' I said.
-
-"'The locket? So did I," he said. And then added quite simply, 'My
-picture is in it.'
-
-"'You lie!' I whispered, shaken by a wind of fury. And yet I knew that
-perhaps he did not lie, that what he said might well be true. Perhaps
-that was the cause of my fury.
-
-"His face was lined with a grief and weariness terrible to behold. To
-look at him you would have thought that there was nothing else in the
-world for him except grief. It was a great grief that made him careless
-of everything else.
-
-"'It is my picture,' he said. 'She loved me.'
-
-"'I say that you lie,' I repeated. 'She may have played with you--but
-she never loved any one but me--in her heart she never did!'
-
-"'You!' And because he whispered, hissing out the words, they seemed to
-gain in intensity of scorn. 'You! She hated you! You who neglected her,
-you with your damned eternal politics, you who could never understand
-her--love? You who could never give her the things a woman needs and
-must have--the warmth--the color--the romance--the poetry of life!
-You!--with your cold-blooded humanitarianism! I tell you, she loved
-_me!_ Why should I hesitate to avow it to you? It is the sweetest
-thing on earth to me, that she loved me! She turned from you to me
-because----'
-
-"'Don't go into all that,' I said. 'I heard all about that last
-night--from her! Open the locket, and let us see whose face is there!'
-
-"He opened it, and dropped the locket. He reeled against the wall, with
-his hands over his face, as if he had been struck a physical blow.
-
-"I picked the toy up and looked at it.
-
-"The face in the locket was neither his face nor mine. It was the face
-of--of the man who ran from the pergola and vaulted over the orchard
-wall into the woods that summer night a year earlier; the man whom I had
-not, for the moment, recognized.
-
-"We stood there, this man who had been my best friend and I, with the
-locket between us, and I debated whether to strike him down----"
-
-The narrator paused. And then he said, fixing Dr. Beaulieu with an
-intent gaze:
-
-"Should I have struck him down? You, who are a teacher of ethics,
-who set yourself up to be, after a fashion, a preacher, a priest, a
-spiritual director, tell me, would I have been justified if I had killed
-him?"
-
-Dr. Beaulieu seemed to shrink, seemed to contract and grow smaller,
-physically, under the other man's look. He opened his mouth as if to
-articulate, but for a second or two no word came. And then, regaining
-something of his usual poise, he said, although his voice was a bit
-husky:
-
-"No! It is for the Creator of life to take life, and no other. Hatred
-and strife are disharmony, and bring their own punishment by throwing
-the soul out of unity with the spirit of love which rules the universe."
-
-It sounded stereotyped and emotionless, even in Dr. Beaulieu's own ears,
-as he said it; there was a mocking gleam in the eyes of the other man
-that spoke of a far more vital and genuine emotion. Dr. Beaulieu licked
-his lips and there came a knot in his forehead; beads of perspiration
-stood out upon his brow.
-
-"You were right," said Dr. Beaulieu, "in not striking him down. You were
-right in sparing him."
-
-The bearded man laughed. "I did not say that I spared him," he said.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu looked a question; a question that, perhaps, he dared
-not utter; or at least that he did not care to utter. He had dropped
-completely his role of spiritual counselor; he regarded his visitor with
-an emotion that might have been horror and might have been terror,
-or might have been a mixture of the two. The visitor replied to the
-unspoken interrogation in the healer's manner.
-
-"I did not strike him down. Neither did I spare him. I waited and I--I
-used him. I know how to wait; I am of the nature that can wait. It was
-years before fate drew all things together for my purpose, and gave him
-into my hands--fate, assisted by myself.
-
-"I waited, and I used him. The details are not pertinent for it is not
-his story that I am telling. I piloted him to the brink of destruction,
-and then--then, I saved him."
-
-"You saved him?" Dr. Beaulieu was puzzled; but his fear, if fear it was,
-had not abated. There was a frank menace, now, in his visitor's air. And
-the healer seemed to be struggling, as he listened to the tale, to force
-some reluctant brain-cell to unlock and give its stored memories to his
-conscious mind.
-
-"I saved him. I saved him to be my creature. I broke him, and I saved
-him. I made him my slave, my dog, my--my anything I choose to have him.
-I have work for him to do."
-
-Again the man paused, looking about the rich profusion of Dr. Beaulieu's
-studio. There was a table in the room which contained a number of curios
-from Eastern lands. The visitor suddenly rose from his chair and picked
-from among them a thin, keen-bladed dagger. It was a beautiful weapon,
-of some Oriental make; beautiful in its lines; beautiful with the sullen
-fire of many jewels blazing in its hilt--an evil levin that got into the
-mind and led the thoughts astray even as the dainty deadliness of
-the whole tool seduced the hand to grasp and strike. As his visitor,
-strangely breaking the flow of his narrative, examined and handled the
-thing, Dr. Beaulieu shuddered.
-
-"The man is as much my tool," said the visitor slowly, "as this dagger
-would be your tool, Dr. Beaulieu, if you chose to thrust it into my
-breast--or into your own."
-
-He laid the dagger down on the table, and resumed his seat. Dr. Beaulieu
-said nothing, but he found it difficult to withdraw his eyes from his
-visitor's steady stare. Slumped and sagged within his chair, he said
-nothing. Presently the visitor went on.
-
-"I had a fancy, Dr. Beaulieu; I had a fancy! It suited me to make my
-revenge a less obvious thing than striking down the old friend who had
-betrayed my love and confidence, a less obvious thing than striking down
-the other man--the man whose face was in the locket."
-
-As he spoke he took from his pocket a locket. He opened it, and gazed
-upon the face. The healer half rose from his chair, and then sank back,
-with a hoarse, inarticulate murmur. His face had turned livid, and he
-trembled in every limb. It was evident that the missing scene which he
-had sought before had suddenly been flashed upon the cinema screen of
-his recollection. He remembered, now----
-
-"It was my fancy, Dr. Beaulieu, to make one of them take revenge upon
-the other, that I might thus be revenged upon them both."
-
-He suddenly rose, and forced the locket into the healer's nerveless
-grasp.
-
-"That face--look at it!" he cried, towering over the collapsed figure
-before him.
-
-Compelled by a will stronger than his own, Dr. Beaulieu looked. It
-was the counterfeit presentment of himself within. It fell from his
-trembling fingers and rolled upon the floor. The cultist buried his face
-in his hands.
-
-The other man stepped back and regarded him sardonically for a moment or
-two.
-
-"I should not wonder," he said, "if the man who used to be my best
-friend would pay you a visit before long--perhaps in an hour, perhaps in
-a week, perhaps in a month."
-
-He picked up the dagger again, and toyed with it.
-
-"This thing," he said, impersonally, trying the point upon his finger,
-"is sharp. It would give a quick death, a sure death, an almost painless
-death, if one used it against another man--or against one's self."
-
-And without another word he turned and left the room.
-
-Dr. Beaulieu sat and listened to his retreating footsteps. And, long
-after they had ceased to sound, Dr. Beaulieu still sat and listened.
-Perhaps he was listening for some one to come, now that the bearded
-man had left. He sat and listened, and presently he reached over to the
-table and picked up the dagger that the visitor had laid down with its
-handle toward him. He pressed its point against his finger, as the other
-man had done. It was sharp. It would give, as the fellow had said, "a
-quick death, a sure death, an almost painless death."
-
-And as he whispered these words he was still
-listening--listening--waiting for some one to come----
-
-
-
-
-XI.--The Locked Box
-
-
-
-I
-
-|It was a small, oblong affair, not more than three inches wide or deep,
-by twice that much in length, made of some dark, hard wood; brass bound
-and with brass lock and brass hinges; altogether such a box as a woman
-might choose to keep about her room for any one of a half dozen possible
-uses.
-
-Clarke did not remember that he had ever seen it prior to his
-unexpectedly early return from a western trip of a month's duration.
-He thought he would give his wife a pleasant surprise, so he did not
-telephone the news of his arrival to the house, but went home and
-entered her room unannounced. As he came in his wife hastily slipped
-something into the box, locked it, and put it into one of the drawers
-of her desk. Then she came to meet him, and he would not have thought
-of the matter at all had it not been for just the slightest trace of
-confusion in her manner.
-
-She was glad to see him. She always was after his absences, but it
-seemed to him that she was exceptionally so this time. She had never
-been a demonstrative woman; but it seemed to Clarke that she came nearer
-that description on the occasion of this home-coming than ever before.
-They had a deal to say to each other, and it was not until after dinner
-that the picture of his wife hurriedly disposing of the box crossed
-Clarke's consciousness again. Even then he mentioned it casually because
-they were talked out of more important topics rather than because of any
-very sharp curiosity. He asked her what it was; what was in it.
-
-"Oh, nothing!--nothing of any importance--nothing at all," she said;
-and moved over to the piano and began one of his favorite airs. And he
-forgot the box again in an instant. She had always been able to make
-Clarke forget things, when she wanted to. But the next day it suddenly
-came to him, out of that nowhere-in-particular from which thoughts come
-to mortals, that she had been almost as much confused at his sudden
-question as she had at his previous sudden entrance.
-
-Clarke was not a suspicious person; not even a very curious one, as a
-rule. But it was so evident to him that there was something in that
-box which his wife did not wish him to see that he could not help but
-wonder. Always frank with her, and always accustomed to an equal
-candor on her part, it occurred to him that he would ask her again, in
-something more than a casual way, and that she would certainly tell him,
-at the same time clearing up her former hesitation. But no!--why should
-he ask her? That would be to make something out of nothing; this was a
-trifle, and not worth thinking about. But he continued thinking about
-it, nevertheless....
-
-Ah, he had it! What a chump he had been, not to guess it sooner! His
-birthday was only ten days off, and his wife had been planning to
-surprise him with a remembrance of some sort. Of course! That accounted
-for the whole thing.
-
-With this idea in his head, he said nothing more about the box, but
-waited. And when dinner was over and they sat before the fire together,
-on the evening of the anniversary, he still forbore to mention it,
-expecting every moment that the next she would present him with the
-token. But as the evening wore away, with no sign on her part, he
-finally broke an interval of silence with the remark:
-
-"Well, dear, don't keep me guessing any longer! Bring it to me!"
-
-"Guessing? Bring you--what?" And he could see that she was genuinely
-puzzled.
-
-"Why, my birthday present."
-
-"Why, my dear boy! And did you expect one? And I had forgotten!
-Positively forgotten--it _is_ your birthday, isn't it, Dickie! If I had
-only known you _wanted_ one--------" And she came up and kissed him,
-with something like contrition, although his birthday had never been one
-of the sentimental anniversaries which she felt bound to observe with
-gifts.
-
-"Don't feel bad about it--I don't care, you know--really," he said.
-"Only, I thought you had something of the sort in that brass-bound
-box--that was the only reason I mentioned it."
-
-"Brass-bound box--why, no, I--I forgot it. I'm ashamed of myself, but I
-forgot the date entirely!"
-
-But she volunteered no explanation of what the box contained, although
-the opportunity was so good a one.
-
-And Clarke wondered more than ever.
-
-What could it be? The letters of some former sweetheart? Well, all girls
-had sweethearts before they married, he supposed; at least all men did.
-He had had several himself. There was nothing in that. And he would not
-make an ass of himself by saying any more about it.
-
-Only... he could not remember any old sweethearts that he wouldn't have
-told Agnes all about, if she had asked him. He had no secrets from her.
-But she had a secret from him... innocent enough, of course. But still,
-a secret. There was none of those old sweethearts of his whose letters
-he cared to keep after five years of marriage. And there was no... But,
-steady! Where were his reflections leading him? Into something very like
-suspicion? Positively, yes; to the verge of it. Until Agnes got ready to
-tell him all about it, he would forget that damned box!
-
-And if she never got ready, why, that was all right, too. She was his
-wife, and he loved her... and that settled it.
-
-Perhaps that should have settled it, but it did not. Certain
-healthy-looking, fleshy specimens of humanity are said to succumb the
-quickest to pneumonia, and it may be that the most ingenuous natures
-suffer the most intensely with suspicion, when once thoroughly
-inoculated.
-
-
-
-II
-
-|Clarke fought against it, cursing his own baseness. But the very effort
-necessary to the fight showed him the persistence of the thing itself.
-He loved his wife, and trusted her, he told himself over and over again,
-and in all their relations hitherto there had never been the slightest
-deviation from mutual confidence and understanding. What did he suspect?
-He could not have told himself. He went over their life together in his
-mind. In the five years of their married life, he could not have helped
-but notice that men were attracted to her. Of course they were. That was
-natural. She was a charming woman. He quite approved of it; it reflected
-credit upon him, in a way. He was not a Bluebeard of a husband, to lock
-a wife up and deny her the society proper to her years. And her
-very catholicity of taste, the perfect frankness of her enjoyment of
-masculine attention, had but served to make his confidence all the more
-complete. True, he had never thought she loved him as much as he loved
-her... but now that he came to think of it, was there not a warmer
-quality to her affection since his return from this last trip west? Was
-there not a kind of thoughtfulness, was there not a watchful increase in
-attentiveness, that he had always missed before? Was she not making love
-to him every day now; just as he had always made love to her before?
-Were not the parts which they had played for the five years of their
-married life suddenly reversed? They were! Indeed they were! And what
-did that mean? What did that portend? Did the brass-bound box have aught
-to do with that? What was the explanation of this change?
-
-The subtle imp of suspicion turned this matter of the exchanged roles
-into capital. Clarke, still ashamed of himself for doing it, began
-covertly to watch his wife; to set traps of various kinds for her. He
-said nothing more about the box, but within six months after the first
-day upon which he had seen it, it became the constant companion of his
-thoughts.
-
-_What_ did he suspect? Not even now could he have said. He suspected
-nothing definite; vaguely, he suspected anything and everything. If
-his wife noticed his changed manner towards her, she made no sign.
-If anything, her efforts to please him, her attentiveness, her
-thoughtfulness in small things, increased.
-
-
-
-III
-
-|There came a day when he could stand this self-torture no longer,
-he thought. He came home from his office--Clarke was a partner in a
-prosperous real-estate concern--at an hour when he thought his wife not
-yet returned from an afternoon of call making, determined to end the
-matter once for all.
-
-He went to her room, found the key to her desk, and opened the drawer.
-He found the box, but It was locked, and he began rummaging through the
-drawers, and among the papers and letters therein, for the key.
-
-Perhaps she carried it with her. Very well, then, he would break it
-open! With the thing in his hand he began to look around for something
-with which to force the fastenings, and was about deciding that he would
-take it down to the basement, and use the hatchet, when he heard a step.
-He turned, just as his wife entered the room.
-
-Her glance traveled from the box in his hand to the ransacked desk, and
-rested there inquiringly for a moment. Strangely enough, in view of the
-fact that he felt himself an injured husband and well within his rights,
-it was Clarke who became confused, apologetic, and evasive under her
-gaze. He essayed a clumsy lie:
-
-"Agnes," he began, indicating the desk, "I--I got a bill to-day from
-Meigs and Horner, for those furs, you know--I was sure that the
-account had been settled--that you had paid them, and had shown me the
-receipt--that you had paid them from your allowance, you know--and I
-thought I would come home and look up the receipt."
-
-It was very lame; and very lamely done, at that, as he felt even while
-he was doing it. But it gave him an opportunity of setting the box down
-on the desk almost in a casual manner, as if he had picked it up quite
-casually, while he began to tumble the papers again with his hands.
-
-"The receipt is here," she said; and got it for him.
-
-The box lay between them, but they did not look at it, nor at each
-other, and they both trembled with agitation.
-
-Each knew that the thoughts of the other were on nothing except that
-little locked receptacle of wood and brass, yet neither one referred
-to it; and for a full half minute they stood with averted faces, and
-fumbling hands, and played out the deception.
-
-Finally she looked full at him, and drew a long breath, as if the
-story were coming now; and there was in her manner a quality of
-softness--almost of sentimentality, Clarke felt. She was getting ready
-to try and melt him into a kind of sympathy for her frailty, was she!
-Well, that would not work with him! And with the receipted bill waving
-in his hand, he made it the text of a lecture on extravagance, into
-which he plunged with vehemence.
-
-Why did he not let her speak? He would not admit the real reason to
-himself, just then. But in his heart he was afraid to have her go on.
-Afraid, either way it turned. If she were innocent of any wrong, he
-would have made an ass of himself--and much worse than an ass. If she
-were guilty, she might melt him into a weak forgiveness in spite of
-her guilt! No, she must not speak... not now! If she were innocent, how
-could he confess his suspicions to her and acknowledge his baseness? And
-besides... women were so damned clever... whatever was in that box, she
-might fool him about it, somehow!
-
-And then, "Good God!" he thought, "I have got to the place where I hug
-my suspicion to me as a dearer thing than my love, have I? Have I got so
-low as that?"
-
-While these thoughts raced and rioted through his mind, his lips
-were feverishly pouring out torrents in denunciation of feminine
-extravagance. Even as he spoke he felt the black injustice of his
-speech, for he had always encouraged his wife, rather than otherwise, in
-the expenditure of money; his income was a good one; and the very furs
-which formed the text of his harangue he had helped her select and even
-urged upon her.
-
-It was their first quarrel, if that can be called a quarrel which has
-only one side to it. For she listened in silence, with white lips
-and hurt eyes, and a face that was soon set into a semblance of hard
-indifference. He stormed out of the room, ashamed of himself, and
-feeling that he had disgraced the name of civilization.
-
-
-
-IV
-
-|Ashamed of himself, indeed; but before the angel of contrition could
-take full possession of his nature, the devil of suspicion, the imp of
-the box, regained its place.
-
-For why had she not answered him? She knew he cared nothing about the
-trivial bill, the matter of the furs, he told himself. Why had she not
-insisted on a hearing, and told him about the box? She knew as well as
-he that that was what he had broken into her desk to get!
-
-Justice whispered that she had been about to speak, and that he had
-denied her the chance. But the imp of the box said that an honest woman
-would have _demanded_ the chance--would have persisted until she got it!
-And thus, his very shame, and anger at himself, were cunningly turned
-and twisted by the genius of the brass-bound box into a confirmation of
-his suspicions.
-
-V
-
-|Suspicions? Nay, convictions! Beliefs. Certainties!
-
-They were certainties, now! Certainties to Clarke's mind, at least. For
-in a month after this episode he had become a silent monomaniac on the
-subject of the brass-bound box. He felt shame no longer. She was guilty.
-Of just what, he did not know. But guilty. Guilty as Hell itself, he
-told himself, rhetorically, in one of the dumb rages which now became so
-frequent with him.
-
-_Guilty--guilty--guilty_--the clock on the mantelpiece ticked off many
-dragging hours of intolerable minutes to that tune, while Clarke lay
-awake and listened. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--repeat any word often
-enough, and it will hypnotize you. _Guilty--guilty--guilty_--so he and
-the clock would talk to each other, back and forth, the whole night
-through. If any suggestions of his former, more normal habits of thought
-came to him now it was they that were laughed out of court; it was they
-that were flung away and scorned as traitors.
-
-She was guilty. But he would be crafty! He would be cunning. He would
-make no mistake. He would allow her no subterfuge. He would give her no
-chance to snare him back into a condition of half belief. There should
-be no juggling explanations. They were clever as the devil, women were!
-But this one should have no chance to fool him again. She had fooled him
-too long already.
-
-And she kept trying to fool him. Shortly after his outburst over the
-furs, she began again a series of timid advances which would have struck
-him as pathetic had he not known that her whole nature was corroded and
-corrupted with deceit, with abominable deceit. She was trying to make
-him believe that she did not know why he was angry and estranged, was
-she? He would show her! He hated her now, with that restless, burning
-intensity of hatred known only to him who has injured another. A hatred
-that consumed his own vitality, and made him sick in soul and body. The
-little sleep he got was passed in uneasy dreams of his revenge; and his
-waking hours were devoted to plots and plans of the form which it should
-take. Oh, but she had been cunning to fool him for so long; but she
-should see! She should see! When the time for action came, she should
-see!
-
-
-
-VI
-
-|Something, one tense and feverish midnight, when he lay in his bed
-snarling and brooding and chuckling--a kind of snapping sense in some
-remote interior chamber of his brain, followed by a nervous shock that
-made him sit upright--warned him that the time for action was at hand.
-What is it that makes sinners, at provincial revival meetings, suddenly
-aware that the hours of dalliance are past and the great instant that
-shall send them to "the mourners' bench" is at hand? Somehow, they seem
-to know! And, somehow, Clarke felt an occult touch and knew that his
-time for action had arrived.
-
-He did not care what came afterwards. Any jury in the world, so he told
-himself, ought to acquit him of his deed, when they once knew his story;
-when they once looked at the damning evidence of her guilt which she
-had hidden away for so long in the brass-bound box. But if they did not
-acquit him, that was all right, too. His work in the world would have
-been done; he would have punished a guilty woman. He would have shown
-that all men are not fools.
-
-But he did not spend a great deal of thought on how other people would
-regard what he was about to do. As he crept down the hall with the knife
-in his hand, his chief sensation was a premonitory itch, a salty tang
-of pleasure in the doing of the deed itself. When hatred comes in where
-love has gone out, there may be a kind of voluptuary delight in the act
-of murder.
-
-Very carefully he opened the door of her room. And then he smiled to
-himself, and entered noisily; for what was the need of being careful
-about waking up a woman who was already dead? He did not care whether he
-killed her in her sleep or not;--indeed, if she wakened and begged for
-her life, he thought it might add a certain zest to the business. He
-should enjoy hearing her plead. He would not mind prolonging things.
-
-But things were not prolonged. His hand and the muscles of his forearm
-had tensed so often with the thought, with the idea, that the first blow
-went home. She never waked.
-
-
-
-VII
-
-|He got the box, and opened it.
-
-Inside was a long envelope, and written on that were the words:
-
-"To be opened by my husband only after my death."
-
-That time had come!
-
-Within the envelope was a letter. It was dated on the day of his return
-from his western trip, a few months before. He read:
-
-"Dick, I love you!
-
-"Does it seem strange to you that I should write it down?
-
-"Listen, Dickie dear--I _had_ to write it! I couldn't tell you when I
-was alive--but I just had to tell you, too. And now that I am dead, what
-I say will come to you with all of its sweetness increased; and all
-of its bitterness left out! It will, now that I am dead--or if you die
-first, you will never see this. This is from beyond the grave to you,
-Dickie dear, to make all your life good to you afterwards!
-
-"Now, listen, dear, and don't be hard on me.
-
-"When I married you, Dickie, I _didn't_ love you! You were wild about
-me. But I only _liked_ you very much. It wasn't really love. It wasn't
-what you _deserved_. But I was only a girl, and you were the first man,
-and I didn't know things; I didn't know what I _should have_ felt.
-
-"Later, when I realized how very much you cared, I was ashamed of
-myself. I grew to see that I had done wrong in marrying you. Wrong to
-both of us. For no woman should marry a man she doesn't love. And I was
-ashamed, and worried about it. You were so good to me! So sweet--and you
-never suspected that I didn't care like I should. And because you were
-so good and sweet to me, I felt _worse_. And I made up my mind you
-should _never_ know! That I would be everything to you any woman could
-be. I tried to be a good wife. Wasn't I, Dickie, even then?
-
-"But I prayed and prayed and prayed. 'O God,' I used to say, 'let me
-love him like he loves me!' It was five years, Dickie, and I _liked_ you
-more, and _admired_ you more, and saw more in you that was worth while,
-every week; but still, no miracle happened.
-
-"And then one morning _a miracle did happen!_
-
-"It was when you were on that trip West. I had gone to bed thinking how
-kind and dear you were. I missed you, Dickie dear, and _needed_ you. And
-when I woke up, there was a change over the world. I felt so different,
-somehow. It had come! Wasn't it wonderful, Dickie?--it had come! And I
-sang all that day for joy. I could hardly wait for you to come home so
-that I could tell you. I loved you, loved you, loved you, Dickie, _as
-you deserved!_ My prayers had been answered, somehow--or maybe it was
-what any woman would do just living near you and being with you.
-
-"And then I saw _I couldn't tell you, after all!_
-
-"For if I told you I loved you now, that would be to tell you that for
-five years _I hadn't loved you_, Dickie!
-
-"And how would _that_ make you feel? Wouldn't that have been like a
-knife, Dickie?
-
-"Oh, I wanted you to know! _How_ I wanted you to know! But, you see, I
-couldn't tell you, could I, dear, without telling the other, too? I just
-_had_ to save you from that! And I just had to make you feel it, somehow
-or other. And I _will_ make you feel it, Dickie!
-
-"But I can't tell you. Who knows what ideas you might get into your head
-about those five years, if I told you now? Men are so queer, and they
-can be so stupid sometimes! And I can't bear to think of losing one
-smallest bit of your love... not now! It would _kill_ me!
-
-"But I want you to know, sometime. And so I'm writing you--it's my first
-love letter--the first real one, Dickie. If _you_ die first, I'll tell
-you in Heaven. And if _I_ die first, you'll understand!
-
-"Agnes."
-
-
-
-
-XII.--Behind the Curtain
-
-|It was as dark as the belly of the fish that swallowed Jonah. A
-drizzling rain blanketed the earth in chill discomfort. As I splashed
-and struggled along the country road, now in the beaten path, and now
-among the wet weeds by its side, I had never more heartily yearned
-for the dullness and comforts of respectability. Here was I with more
-talents in my quiver, it pleased me to think, than nine out of ten of
-the burghers I had left sleeping snug and smug in the town a few miles
-behind; with as much real love of humanity as the next man, too; and yet
-shivering and cursing my way into another situation that might well mean
-my death. And all for what? For fame or riches? No, for little more than
-a mere existence, albeit free from responsibility. Indeed, I was all but
-ready to become an honest man then and there, to turn back and give
-up the night's adventure, had but my imagination furnished me with the
-picture of some occupation whereby I might gain the same leisure and
-independence as by what your precisians call thieving.
-
-With the thought I stumbled off the road again, and into a narrow gully
-that splashed me to the knees with muddy water. Out of that, I walked
-plump into a hedge, and when I sought to turn from it at right angles, I
-found myself still following its line. This circumstance showed me that
-I was come unaware upon the sharp turn of the road which marked the
-whereabouts of the house that was my object. Following the hedge, I
-found the entrance to the graveled driveway within a hundred yards of
-my last misstep, and entered the grounds. I groped about me for a space,
-not daring to show a light, until presently a blacker bulk, lifting
-itself out of the night's comprehensive blackness, indicated the
-house itself, to my left and a bit in front of me. I left the moist
-gravel--for there is nothing to be gained on an expedition of this
-sort by advertising the size and shape of your boots to a morbidly
-inquisitive public--and reached the shelter of the veranda by walking
-across the lawn.
-
-There, being out of eyeshot from the upper windows, I risked a gleam
-from my pocket lantern, one of those little electric affairs that are
-occasionally useful to others than night watchmen. Two long French
-windows gave on the veranda; and, as I knew, both of them opened from
-the reception hall. A bit of a way with the women is not amiss in my
-profession; and the little grayeyed Irish maid, who had told me three
-weeks before of old man Rolfe's stinginess and brutality towards the
-young wife whom he had cooped up here for the past four years, had also
-given me, bit by bit, other information more valuable than she could
-guess. So, thanks to the maid, I was aware that the safe where the Rolfe
-jewels were kept--and often a substantial bit of money as well--was
-situated in the library; which was just beyond the hall and connected
-with it by a flight of four or five steps. This safe was my objective
-point.
-
-The wooden window shutters were but the work of a moment; and the window
-fastenings themselves of only a few minutes more. (I flatter myself that
-I have a very coaxing way with window fasteners.) The safe itself would
-give me the devil's own trouble, I knew. It was really a job for two
-men, and I ached all over to be at it, to be safely through with it, and
-away, a good hour before sunrise.
-
-The window opened noiselessly enough, and I stepped within and set my
-little satchel full of necessary tools upon the floor. But the damp
-weather had swelled the woodwork, and as I closed the window again,
-though I pushed it ever so gently, it gave forth a noise something
-between a grunt and a squeak.
-
-And as pat as the report of a pistol to the pressure of the trigger came
-the answer--a sound of a quickly-caught breath from the warm dimness of
-the room. I made no motion; though the blood drummed desperately through
-my brain and my scalp tingled with apprehension and excitement.
-
-For ten, for twenty, for thirty seconds I stood so; and then the silence
-was broken by the unmistakable rustle of a woman's skirts. The sound
-came softly towards me through the darkness. It was my turn to let loose
-my held breath with a gasp, and in another moment I should have been
-through the window and running for it; when a woman's whisper halted me.
-
-"Is that you, Charles? And why did you not rap upon the shutter?"
-
-So some one called Charles was expected? Then, ticked off my thoughts
-almost automatically, the lady somewhere near me in the dark might have
-her own reasons for not caring to alarm the house just then! The thought
-steadied me to action.
-
-"Shh," I whispered, feeling behind me for the window, and gradually
-opening it again. "S-h-h! No, it is not Charles"--and I put one foot
-backward across the sill. "It is not Charles, but Charles has sent me to
-say----"
-
-Click!--went something by the window, and the room was flooded with
-sudden brilliance from a dozen electric globes. And again, click!--and
-I looked with blinking eyes at the muzzle of a cocked pistol held by the
-most beautiful, the most be-jeweled, the most determined-looking young
-woman it has ever been my lot to meet.
-
-"Who are you?" she asked in a voice that was at once hoarse and sweet.
-"Who are you? And what do you want? And where is Charles?"
-
-As I stood there dripping moisture upon the oiled floor, with my hands
-in the air--they had gone up quite involuntarily--I must have been the
-very picture of idiocy and discomfiture. I wondered if Charles, whoever
-the devil Charles might be, was always welcomed with a cocked pistol.
-Probably not; but, I wondered, how did she happen to have a pistol with
-her? I wondered why neck, breast, hair, arms, and hands should be ablaze
-with the diamonds that accentuated her lithe and vivid loveliness. I
-wondered why, now that she saw I was not Charles, she did not alarm the
-house. I wondered everything; but nothing to the point. And as I stood
-wondering she repeated:
-
-"Who are you? And what do you want?"
-
-"Madame," I stammered, my jarred brain fastening upon the sentence she
-had interrupted, "Charles sent me to--to say to you----"
-
-"Charles who?" she asked. And as tense as was her face, a gleam of
-merriment shot through her eyes. "Charles who?" she repeated.
-
-Charles was not one of the points upon which the Irish maid had given me
-information.
-
-The lady with the pistol considered for a moment. "You are not very
-clever, are you?" she said.
-
-"If you will pardon me," I said, "I think I had better be going. I seem
-to have mistaken the house."
-
-"You at least seem to have mistaken the proper manner in which to enter
-it," she returned.
-
-"Why, as to the mode of entrance," I said, "I might plead that the
-mistake appears to have been less in that than in the person who
-employed it."
-
-I could not resist the retort. A dull red crept slowly up her neck and
-face; a pallid, olive-tinted face, beautiful in itself, beautiful for
-its oval contour and broad brow, and frame of black hair; beautiful in
-itself, and yet dominated and outdone by the lustrous, restless beauty
-of the dark eyes wherewith she held me more surely captive than by
-virtue of the pistol.
-
-"You will come in," she said, "and sit there." She indicated a seat
-beside a central table. "But first you will kindly let me have whatever
-weapons you may possess." She took my revolver, examined it, and put her
-own in the breast of her gown. "Now you may put your hands down," she
-said, "your arms must ache by now. Sit down."
-
-I sat. She stood and looked at me for a moment.
-
-"I am wondering what you are going to do with me," I ventured.
-
-In all of her quick actions, and in the tones of her voice, there was
-evident a most unnatural sort of strain. She may well have been excited;
-that was only to be expected in the circumstances. But the repressed
-excitement in this woman's manner was not that of a woman who is forcing
-herself to keep her courage up; not that of a woman who would like to
-scream; but a steadier nervous energy which seemed to burn in her like a
-fire, to escape from her finger tips, and almost to crackle in her
-hair; an intensity that was vibrant. I marveled. Most women would have
-screamed at the advent of a man in the dead of night; screamed and
-fainted. Or the ones who would not, and who were armed as she, would
-ordinarily have been inclined to shoot, and at once; or immediately to
-have given the alarm. She had done none of these things. She had merely
-taken me captive. She had set me down in a chair at the center of the
-room. She had not roused the house. And now she stood looking at me with
-a trace of abstraction in her manner; looking at me, for the moment,
-less as if I were a human being than as if I were a factor in some
-mathematical problem which it was the immediate task of that active,
-high-keyed brain of hers to solve. And there was a measure of irony in
-her glance, as if she alone tasted and enjoyed some ulterior jest.
-
-"I am wondering," I repeated, "what you are going to do with me."
-
-She sat down at the opposite side of the table before she replied.
-
-"I believe," she said slowly, "that I have nearly made up my mind what
-to do with you."
-
-"Well?" I asked.
-
-But she said nothing, and continued to say nothing. I looked at her and
-her diamonds--the diamonds I had come after!--and wondered again why she
-was wearing them; wondered why she had tricked herself out as for
-some grand entertainment. And as the ignominious result of my night's
-expedition pressed more sharply against my pride I could have strangled
-her through sheer disappointment and mortification. The pistol she held
-was the answer to that impulse. But what was the answer to her hesitancy
-in alarming the house? Why did she not give me up and be done with me?
-
-At the farther end of the room was a long red curtain, which covered the
-entrance to a sitting-room or parlor, as I guessed; and by the side
-of the curtain hung an old-fashioned bell cord, also of red, which
-I supposed to communicate with the servants' quarters. It were easy
-enough, now that she had taken the whip hand of me so cleverly, to pull
-that rope, to set the bell jangling, to rouse the house. Why did she not
-do so?
-
-Was she a mad woman? There was that in her inexplicable conduct, and in
-her highly-wrought, yet governed, mood, as she sat in brooding silence
-across the table from me, to make the theory plausible. Brooding she
-was, and studying me, I thought; yet watchful, too. For at any least
-motion of mine her hand tightened slightly upon the pistol. We sat
-thus while the slow seconds lengthened into intolerable minutes; and I
-steamed with sweat, and fidgeted. Nor was I set more at my ease by her
-long searching glances. In fact, my overthrow had been so instant and
-so complete that my scattered wits had never drawn themselves together
-again; I continued as one in a haze; as a person half under the power
-of the hypnotist; as a mouse must feel after the first blow of the cat's
-paw. And yet one idea began to loom clearly out of that haze and possess
-me--the idea that she desired the alarm to be given as little as I did
-myself.
-
-But there was no light in that. It was easy to understand why she
-did not wish the house aroused while she still believed me to be
-Charles--whoever Charles might be. But now?--it was too much for me.
-I could not find a justification in reason for my belief; and yet the
-conviction grew.
-
-She broke the silence with a question that might have been put with full
-knowledge of my thought.
-
-"You are still wondering why I do not give you up?" she said.
-
-I nodded. She leaned towards me across the table, and if ever the demons
-of mockery danced through a woman's eyes it was then; and her lips
-parted in a kind of silent laughter.
-
-She touched the diamonds about her throat.
-
-"It was these you came after?"
-
-I nodded again. Evidently speech was of no avail with this lady. She
-asked questions at her will, and reserved the right of answering none.
-
-"Tell me," she said, "Why are you a thief? Why do you steal?"
-
-"'Convey, the wise it call,'" I quoted. "Accident, or fate, or destiny,
-I suppose," I went on, wondering more than ever at the question, but
-with a fluttering hope. Perhaps the lady (in spite of Charles--such
-things have been!) was an amateur sociologist, a crank reformer, or
-something of that sort. There had been no mockery in her tone when
-she asked the question; instead, I thought, a kind of pity. "Fate,
-or destiny," I went on, "or what you please, 'There is a destiny that
-shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will,'" I quoted again, in my
-best actor manner.
-
-"Why," she said, "you are a man with some air of better things about
-you. You quote Shakespeare as if he were an old friend. And yet, you are
-a thief! Tell me," she continued, "tell me--I dare say there were many
-struggles against that destiny?" There was a note almost of eagerness
-in her voice, as if she were a leniently-inclined judge who would fain
-search out and put in the mouth of a condemned man some plausible plea
-for the exercise of clemency. "Come--were there not?--I dare say there
-were--circumstances of uncommon bitterness that forced you to become
-what I see you? And even now you hate the thing you are?"
-
-"Why, as to that," I said, possessed of the sudden whim to be honest
-with myself for once, "I am afraid that I can complain of no bitterer
-usage at the hands of the world than can the majority of those who reap
-where they have not sowed. When I think of it all, I am used to putting
-it to myself that my life is devoted to a kind of private warfare
-against the unjust conditions of a hypocritical social order."
-
-"Warfare!" she flouted, hard and brilliant as one of her own diamonds
-again. "And you could justify it, too, could you not?"
-
-And then she asked me: "Have you ever killed a man?"
-
-"Why, no," said I, "but I have tried to."
-
-"He lived?--and you were sorry that he lived?"
-
-"No," I said, quite out of my depths in all this moral quibbling, "I was
-glad he lived."
-
-"And yet you hated him?"
-
-"I would have taken his life in a rage," I said. "He had wronged me as
-greatly as one man can wrong another."
-
-"And yet you were glad he lived? My dear thief----"
-
-"Higgins is the name," said I. "You may call me Higgins."
-
-"My dear Higgins," she went on, "you are inconsistent. You attempt to
-slay a man in what I should judge to have been a not ignoble passion.
-It may have been an anger that did you credit. And yet you are not
-bold enough to face the thought of killing him. You are glib with
-justifications of your thievery; and perhaps that is also because you
-are too much of a coward to look steadily at it. You creep along a mean
-and despicable path in life, contentedly, it seems to me, with a dead
-soul. You are what you are because there is nothing positive in you for
-either good or evil. You are negative; you were better dead. Yes, better
-dead!"
-
-Why should I have felt as if she were seeking self-justification in
-advance for some death she planned for me? Certainly, my life, or death,
-was not hers to give or take; she might give me up, and probably would.
-But just as certainly she had made me feel, as she passed her judgment
-upon me, that she was likely to turn executioner as well as judge. My
-doubts as to her sanity returned.
-
-"Still," I said, for the sake of saying something, "if I killed a man, I
-should not like to think about it, even if he deserved death."
-
-"Even if he deserved death?" she repeated, and sprang up, as if the
-phrase had touched her. "You make yourself the judge, you do, of when
-a man 'deserves' to lose his wealth. Come, what is your idea of when he
-deserves to die?"
-
-Up and down the room she swept; yet still watchful. And the emotion
-which she had so long suppressed burst out into a poisonous lovely bloom
-that suffused her being with an awful beauty.
-
-"When does he deserve to die?" she repeated. "Listen to me. I knew
-a woman once--no matter where--no matter when--who was sold--sold! I
-say--by the sordid devil she called her father, to the veriest beast
-that ever trod this earth. Her beauty--for she had beauty--her wit--for
-wit she had--became this husband's chattels before she turned her
-twentieth year. She would never have loved him, but she would have been
-faithful to him--she was faithful to him, in fact, in spite of all his
-drunkenness and bestiality--and abuse! It was not neglect alone that she
-had to complain of--she had never looked for understanding or sympathy.
-But she had not looked for abuse. Abuse, I say, and worse than abuse.
-Before she had been married a year she knew what it was, not only to
-feel the weight of a heavy hand and to hide the bruises from her maid,
-but to see other women brought into her very house. Pah!--hate? She
-hated him? Hate is not the word. She became a live coal. But she never
-cried out; she found strength to smile at him even when he beat her; she
-was proud enough for that. It pleased him, in his hellish humor, and
-because she was made to shine, to cage her in a country house, and there
-to taunt her that although she was sold to him she got little of what
-money may buy. And still she smiled at him, and still her hatred grew
-through all the weeks and months until it filled her whole being. And
-then--love came. For God has ordained that love may enter even Hell.
-Love, I say; and she loved this lover of hers with a passion that was
-measured only by the degree in which she hated her husband. And she
-would have left with him; but on the very night they would have flown
-together her lord and master-----"
-
-She said the words with an indescribable spluttering sneer, sidewise
-from her mouth. It is so a lioness may snarl and spit before she leaps.
-
-"Her--lord and master--found it out, and waited up to catch them; and
-coming upon her alone, taunted her. Taunted her, and struck her----"
-
-"Look!" she cried, and tore the diamonds from her breast, and rent the
-laces, and wrenched the fastenings apart. A new red weal that seemed to
-throb and pulse with her respiration stood out from the whiteness of her
-bosom.
-
-"Tell me," she whispered hoarsely, "would it have been murder if she had
-killed that man? Which were the more courageous thing--to kill him, or
-to step back into her living hell? If she had killed him, would she have
-regretted it?"
-
-I know not what I might have answered; but at that instant three raps
-sounded distinctly upon the window-shutter. I leaped to my feet. Then
-Charles had come!
-
-An instant she stood as if stricken to a statue in mid-rage.
-
-And then she cried out, and there was a furious triumph in her voice--a
-kind of joy that matched itself to, and blended with, the fierce and
-reckless beauty of her shaken jewels, possessed her.
-
-"Charles," she cried, "come in! Come in!"
-
-Slowly the window opened and a man entered. He drew back in amaze at the
-sight of me, and turned to her with an air that was all one question.
-
-"I thought you would never come," she said.
-
-He was a big blond man, and as he turned from the one to the other of
-us, with his helpless, inquiring face, and eyes that blinked from the
-outer darkness, he looked oddly like a sleepy schoolboy who has been
-awakened from an afternoon nap by the teacher's ruler.
-
-"Katherine," he finally stammered, "what is this? Who is this man?" He
-passed his hand across his forehead as one may do who doubts whether or
-not he dreams; and walked towards the table.
-
-"Charles," she said, "I have shot the old man." I have seen a beef
-stricken on the head with a mallet look at its executioner with big eyes
-for an instant before the quivering in its limbs set in and it sank to
-the ground. So this Charles looked with wide, stupid eyes, and shivered,
-and dropped the great bulk of him into a chair. His head sank upon his
-hand. But finally he looked up, and spoke in a confused voice, as if
-through a mist. "Good God, Katherine, what do you mean?"
-
-"I mean," she said, framing the words slowly, as one speaks a lesson to
-a child, "I mean that I have killed the old man."
-
-And moving swiftly across the room she flung back the heavy red curtain
-at the end of it; and I saw the answer to my many questionings.
-
-The body lay upon its back, with one arm bent, the hand across the
-chest, and the fingers spread wide. The face was that of a man of sixty
-or thereabouts, but, indeed, so deeply lined and wrinkled and pouched
-with evil living that the age even in life must have been hard to
-determine. Blood was coagulating about a bullet wound in the temple,
-and there were powder burns on the forehead. The shot had been fired at
-close range, evidently from the weapon with which I had been confronted
-on my entrance; and the sound had been so muffled in the curtain that it
-was little wonder that the servants in the rooms above, and across the
-house, had not heard it. He had a monstrous nose, that man upon the
-floor, and it must have been a red nose in life; but now it was of a
-bluish-white color, like the skin of an old and scrawny fowl. That, and
-the thin, drawn-up legs, and the big flabby paunch of the thing, robbed
-the sight, for me, of all the solemnity which (we are taught) exudes
-from the presence of death. It made me sick; and yet I cackled with
-sheer hysteria, too; or rather my strained nerves jarred and laughed, if
-not myself. It was too damned grotesque.
-
-Herself, she did not look at it. She looked at the man called Charles;
-and he, with a shudder, lifted his slow gaze from the thing behind the
-curtain to her face.
-
-She was the first to speak, and the terrible joy with which she had bade
-Charles to enter still dominated her accents.
-
-"Don't you understand, Charles? This man," and she indicated me with the
-pistol, "this man takes the blame of this. He is a thief. He came just
-after--just afterwards. And I held him for your coming. Don't you see?
-Don't you see? His presence clears us of this deed!"
-
-"_Us?_" queried Charles.
-
-"Not _us?_" she asked.
-
-"My God, Katherine," he burst forth, "why did you do this thing? And
-you would heap murder on murder! Why, why, why did you do it? Why splash
-this blood upon our love? A useless thing to do! We might have--we might
-have------"
-
-He broke down and sobbed. And then: "God knows the old man never did me
-any harm," he said. "And she'd accuse the thief, too!" he cried a moment
-later, with a kind of wondering horror.
-
-"Listen, Charles," she said, and moved towards him; and yet with a
-sidelong glance she still took heed of me. "Listen, and understand
-me. We must act quickly--but after it happened it was necessary that I
-should see you before we could act. This man came to rob; here is his
-pistol, and in that satchel by the window are his tools, no doubt. He
-may tell what wild tale he will; but who will believe him? You go as you
-came; I give him up--and we--we wait awhile, and then the rest of life
-is ours."
-
-I suppose that it is given to few men to hear their death plotted in
-their presence. But I had come to the pass by this time where it struck
-me as an impersonal thing. I listened; but somehow the full sense of
-what she said, as affecting me, did not then impinge upon my brain with
-waking force. I stood as if in a trance; I stood and looked on at those
-two contending personalities, that were concerned just now with the
-question of my life or death, as if I were a spectator in a theater--as
-if it were someone else of whom they spoke.
-
-"Go," she cried to Charles again, "and I will give him up."
-
-"Katherine," he said, "and you would do this thing?"
-
-"Why?" she retorted, "what is this man's life beside mine? His soul is
-dead! I tell you, Charles, that I have come through Hell alive to gain
-one ray of happiness! But go!--and leave the rest to me."
-
-And she grasped the bell cord and pulled it. Pulled it again and again.
-The sound wandered crazily through what remote corridors I know not.
-
-She made a step towards him. He leaped to his feet with an oath, with
-loathing in his eyes, shrank back from her, and held out a hand as if to
-ward off some unclean thing.
-
-Bewilderment lined her face. She groped to understand. And then, as the
-full significance of his gesture came home to her, she winced and swayed
-as if from a blow; and the pistol dropped from her loosened grasp to the
-floor.
-
-"You--you abandon me?" she said slowly. "You desert me, then? Love,
-Love, think how I have loved you that I did this thing! And is what I
-have suffered--what I have done--still to purchase--nothing?"
-
-She pleaded for my death; but I hope that I shall never again see on any
-human face the look of despair that was on hers. I pitied her!
-
-Heavy feet on the stairway woke me from my trance. Unregarded of them
-both I grasped my pistol from the floor and sprang for the window. A
-door opened somewhere above, and a voice asked:
-
-"You rang, Ma'am?"
-
-From without the window I looked back into the room. She stood with
-outstretched hands--hands that reached upward from the pit of torment,
-my fancy told me--and pleaded for a little love. "In all this world is
-there no little ray of love for me?"--it was so my imagination rather
-than my hearing translated the slight movement of her lips. And while
-she and the man called Charles stood thus at gaze with one another, the
-servant spoke again from the stairway.
-
-"You rang?" he asked.
-
-She slowly straightened. She steadied herself. And with her eyes still
-fixed upon those of Charles she cried:
-
-"Yes, yes, I rang, Jones! Your master is--dead. Your master's murdered!
-And there, there," and she stabbed an accusing finger at her erstwhile
-lover, "there is the man who murdered him!"
-
-And then I turned from the window and ran from that house; and as I ran
-I saw the Dawn, like a wild, fair woman, walk up the eastern sky with
-blood-stained feet.
-
-
-
-
-XIII.--Words and Thoughts
-
-[A Play in One Act]
-
-Characters:
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Maid
-
-Period, the present. Place, any American city.
-
-The Scene _represents two drawing rooms, exact duplicates, furnished
-alike to the smallest detail. Either room might be the reflection of the
-other in a mirror. Each occupies half of the stage. The division line
-between them is indicated, towards the hack of the stage, by two pianos,
-which sit hack to back at the center of the hack drop. This division
-is carried by the pianos a quarter or a third of the way towards the
-footlights. The division is further suggested, towards the front of the
-stage, hy a couple of settees or couches, which also sit back to back._
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker _remain all the time in the room at the
-right of the stage. They are not aware of_ John Thinker _and_ Mary
-Thinker, _who are, throughout the play, in the room at the left. The_
-Thinkers, _however, are aware of the_ Speakers.
-
-_In make-up, looks, dress, etc., the two_Johns _are precisely alike.
-The same is true of_ Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker. _The_ Johns _are
-conventional-looking, prosperous Americans of from 38 to 40 years of
-age. The two_ Marys _are a few years younger._
-
-Cousin Fanny Hemlock _is a dried-up, querulous old woman of seventy._
-
-_The Curtain, on rising, discovers the two_ Johns _and the two_ Marys.
-_It is between 7 and 8 in the evening; they are all in evening dress,
-and are preparing to go out, putting on their gloves, etc., etc._
-
-John Speaker [_Picking up over coat._]
-
-Are you ready, Mary dear?
-
-Mary Speaker [_Holding out a gloved hand._]
-
-Quite, John dear. Button this for me, won't you, love?
-
-John Speaker [_Busy with glove._]
-
-It's been nearly a year, hasn't it, since we've been out together of
-an evening? I'm afraid Cousin Fanny is terribly trying on you at times,
-Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You know, John, I don't consider her a trial. I _love_ Cousin Fanny.
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Busy with Mary Thinker's glove._]
-
-The old cat's letting us off to-night, for a wonder, Mary. She's a
-horrible affliction!
-
-Mary Thinker [_Passionately._]
-
-Affliction is no word. She makes my life a living hell! I hate her!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Helping Mary Speaker on with coat, which action is simultaneously
-imitated hy John and Mary Thinker._]
-
-Well, we must bear with her gently, Mary. I am afraid poor Cousin Fanny
-will not be with us many more years.
-
-John Thinker [_To Mary Thinker._]
-
-One comfort is she'll die before long!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker._]
-
-Oh, John, you don't think Cousin Fanny's going to die, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker._]
-
-Don't fool yourself about her dying soon, John. There's no such luck!
-
-[_Enter Maid through door in right back to John and Mary Speaker,
-who look up. John and Mary Thinker also notice entrance of Maid and
-listen._]
-
-Maid
-
-[_To Mary Speaker._]
-
-Miss Hemlock sent me to inquire whether you were going out to-night.
-
-Mary Thinker [_To John Thinker, quickly._]
-
-The old cat's up to something!
-
-Mary Speaker [_To Maid_.]
-
-Yes. We were just starting. Does Miss Hemlock want anything? I will go
-to her if she wishes to speak with me.
-
-Maid
-
-She said, in case you were going out, that I was to tell you _not_ to do
-so.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-_Not_ to do so?
-
-Maid
-
-Yes, ma'am; that's what she said. She said in case you were getting
-ready to go out, you were to change your plans and stop at home.
-
-John Speaker [_To Maid._]
-
-Not to do so? But, surely, there must be some mistake!
-
-[_Maid shakes her head slowly, deliberately, looking fixedly at John
-Speaker; and while she is doing so John Thinker says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-Some malicious idea is working in her head tonight!
-
-Maid
-
-[_To John Speaker._]
-
-No, sir, no mistake. She said very plainly and distinctly that you were
-not to go out tonight.
-
-[_Maid bows and exits._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is not so well to-night, I'm afraid, dear, or she would
-certainly have put her request in some other way.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-If I didn't love Cousin Fanny, John, I would be tempted to believe that
-she deliberately tries at times to annoy us.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny is old, and we must remember that she is very fond of us.
-We will have to bear with her.
-
-[_John Speaker takes his top coat and his wife's coat> and lays them on
-a chair, while John Thinker, who has been frowning and brooding, flings
-himself into chair and says to Mary Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-For cold-blooded, devilish nerve in a man's own house, Cousin Fanny
-certainly takes the cake, Mary!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She gets more spiteful every day. She knows her power, and the more
-childish she gets the more delight she takes in playing tyrant.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Cheer up, it isn't forever! If she doesn't change her will before she
-dies, it means fifteen thousand dollars a year. That's worth a little
-trouble!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-You're away at your office all day. I'm here at home with her. It is I
-who catch all the trouble!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, after all, she's more nearly related to you, Mary, than she is to
-me.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She's my mother's third cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Well, then, she's my father's fifth cousin, if you call _that_ near!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-What were you thinking of, John, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing, Mary... except that
-
-Cousin Fanny is a poor, lonely old soul, after all.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Poor, lonely old woman, indeed--it's odd, isn't it, that she is related
-to both you and me, John?
-
-John Speaker
-
-She's closer to you than to me, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You couldn't call a fourth or fifth cousin very near, John.
-
-John Speaker
-
-It almost seems as if you were trying to deny the blood tie, Mary!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-No, John, dear, blood is thicker than water.
-
-John Speaker Thicker than water!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Relations are the most unpleasant persons on earth. I hate cousins.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Especially cousins who are also cousins-in-law! John Speaker
-
-But even if she were only _my_ relation, Mary, and not related to _you_
-at all, I know enough of your sweet nature to know that she would always
-be welcome in our home in spite of her little idiosyncrasies.
-
-[_Enter Cousin Fanny, to John and Mary Speaker, through door right hack.
-She coughs as she steps forward, leaning on a cane, and puts her hand to
-her chest, stop-ping. Then as she comes forward, she stumbles. John and
-Mary Speaker leap forward, put their arms behind her, and, supporting
-and leading her, conduct her tenderly down stage to chair at center of
-room they are in. John and Mary Thinker, near together at table in their
-room, lean forward eagerly and watch this entrance, and when the old
-woman stumbles, John Thinker says to Mary Thinker, nudging her:_]
-
-John Thinker
-
-You see?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-See what?
-
-John Thinker
-
-She totters!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She stumbled.
-
-John Thinker
-
-She's getting weaker.
-
-[_Mary Speaker tenderly kisses Cousin Fanny, as Mary Thinker says_:]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Weaker! She'll live to be a hundred and ten!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Not she!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-The mean kind always do!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Tenderly, to Cousin Fanny, arranging cushion behind her._]
-
-Can't I get you a wrap, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Don't you feel a draught, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Bitterly, frowning at other group_.]
-
-No draught will ever harm her!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker, sneeringly; petulantly._] You're mighty anxious
-about a _wrap_, John! But you were thinking of going out and leaving me
-practically alone in the house.
-
-John Speaker [_Deprecatingly._ ]
-
-But, Cousin Fanny----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting_.]
-
-Don't deny it! Don't take the trouble to deny it! Don't lie about it!
-You can't lie to me! Don't I see your evening clothes? And Mary, too!
-Both of you were going out--_both_ of you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, we gave it up when we learned that you wanted us to stop
-at home with you. Didn't we, John?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Querulously, childishly, shrilly._]
-
-Don't deny it, Mary, don't deny it! Don't excuse yourself! I can see you
-were going out! I can see your evening clothes!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-We'll go and change to something else, won't we, John?
-
-[_She is going, as she speaks, but Cousin Fanny cries out_:]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-[_Mary Speaker stops, and Cousin Fanny continues_:]
-
-Don't take them off. I don't want you to take them off. What do you want
-to take them off for? Are they too good for _me_ to see? Are they too
-grand for me to look at? Ain't I as good as any one you'd find if you
-went out? Heh?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Cousin Fanny, I didn't mean that. I meant----
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Interrupting._]
-
-I know what you meant! Don't tell me what you meant, Mary. You meant to
-slip out and leave me here alone, both of you. It's lucky I caught you
-in time. It's lucky I have money! It's lucky I don't have to put up with
-the treatment most old folks get. I'd starve, if I were poor! I'd die of
-hunger and neglect!
-
-[_She begins to cry, and Mary Speaker says_:]
-
-Mary Speaker No, no, no, Cousin Fanny!
-
-[_Mary Speaker soothes her, in pantomime, and pets her, trying to take
-her hands away from her face, Cousin Fanny resisting, like a spoiled and
-spiteful child. John Speaker, behind Cousin Fanny and his wife, walks
-up and down, with his eyes on them, running his hand nervously and
-excitedly through his hair. While this pantomime goes on, John and Mary
-Thinker are watching and saying _:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-This is to be one of Cousin Fanny's pleasant evenings!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-This happens a dozen times a day.
-
-John Thinker She's not really crying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Pretence! She works it up to be unpleasant.
-
-John Thinker The old she-devil!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking Cousin Fanny's hand._]
-
-You know, Cousin Fanny, that we try to do our duty by you.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Flinging his hand off._]
-
-You try to do your duty by my money! I know!
-
-I see! You talk of love and duty, but it's my money you want! But I may
-fool you--I may fool you yet. It's not too late to change my will. It's
-not too late to leave it all to charity!
-
-[_She speaks these lines with a cunning leer, and John Thinker, nudging
-Mary Thinker and pointing to her, says:_]
-
-John Thinker The old cat is capable of it, too!
-
-John Speaker [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-If you should leave your money to charity, Cousin Fanny, you would find
-it made no difference with us. You know blood is thicker than water,
-Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Shrewdly, maliciously_.]
-
-So is sticky flypaper!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Come, come, you don't doubt the genuineness of our affection, do you,
-Cousin Fanny? You've known me from my boyhood, Cousin Fanny, and you've
-lived with us for ten years. You ought to know us by this time! You
-ought to know us in ten years!
-
-Mary Thinker Ten years of torture!
-
-John Thinker It can't last much longer!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Who has taken her hand again, and has been patting it as a
-continuation of his last speech, and looking at her fondly_.]
-
-You trust us, don't you, Cousin Fanny? You really are sure of our
-affection, aren't you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_To John Speaker. She shows that she really is willing to be convinced;
-she searches their faces wistfully; she is pathetically eager._ ]
-
-John, John, you really _do_ care for me, don't you? [_She takes a hand
-of each._]
-
-It isn't _all_ on account of my money, is it? If you knew I hadn't a
-cent, you'd still be good to me, wouldn't you?
-
-John Speaker and Mary Speaker [_Together._]
-
-Yes, yes, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I lost it all; if I told you I'd lost it all, you'd be just the same,
-wouldn't you?
-
-[_John Speaker and Mary Speaker exchange glances over her head, and John
-Speaker drops her hand, while John Thinker grabs Mary Thinker excitedly
-by the arm and says quickly_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-My God, you don't suppose she's really _lost_ it, do you?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-No! This is just one of her cunning spells now. She can be as crafty as
-a witch.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-If I hadn't a cent you'd still care for me, wouldn't you, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Why, Cousin Fanny, you know I would!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-But I'm hard on you at times. I'm unjust. I don't mean to be spiteful,
-but I _am_ spiteful. When we get old we get suspicious of people. We get
-suspicious of everybody. And suspicion makes us spiteful and unjust. I
-know I'm not easy to live with, Mary.
-
-Mary Speaker [_Kissing Cousin Fanny._]
-
-You get such strange notions, Cousin Fanny!
-
-John Thinker
-
-And such true ones, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Tell me the truth, Mary. You find me a trial, Mary. You and John find me
-a trial!
-
-Mary Speaker and John Speaker [_Together._ ]
-
-Never, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Mary Thinker and John Thinker [_Together._ ]
-
-Always, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny And that is the truth?
-
-John Speaker, John Thinker, Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker [_All
-together._ ]
-
-And that is the truth, Cousin Fanny!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-You don't know how suspicious one gets!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Petting her_.]
-
-But suspicion never stays long in your good heart, Cousin Fanny. There's
-no room for it there, I know. But don't you think you'd better go to bed
-now? Let me call the maid.
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing up in chair; suspicion and meanness all awake again_.]
-
-To bed? Why to bed? Why do you want to pack me off to bed? I know! I
-know why! You want me to go to bed so you two can talk about me. So you
-can talk me over! So you can speculate on how long I will live. I know
-you! I know what you talk about when I'm not around! I know what you've
-been waiting and hoping for the last ten years!
-
-[_Begins to cry._]
-
-Well, you won't have long to wait now. The time's almost come! I feel
-it's almost here. You'll get the money soon enough!
-
-Mary Speaker [_Soothing her_.]
-
-There, there, Cousin Fanny, don't go on like this!
-
-You know it isn't true--you know you'll live ten years yet!
-
-[_John Speaker runs his hands through his hair and looks silently at
-Mary Speaker, and John Thinker, with the same gesture, says to Mary
-Thinker_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-If I thought she'd live ten years yet----!
-
-[_Pauses._]
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Well, if you thought she'd live ten years yet----?
-
-John Thinker [_With a gesture of de pair._ ]
-
-My God--ten years like the last ten years! Ten years! Talk about earning
-money! If it hasn't been earned ten times over!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Fiercely._]
-
-You see it mornings and evenings. I have it all day long, and every
-day. I've had it for ten years. I go nowhere, I see no one. I have no
-pleasures. I have no friends; I've lost my friends. I'm losing my youth.
-I'm losing my looks. I'm losing my very soul. I'm shedding my life's
-blood drop by drop to keep that querulous fool alive--just merely alive!
-I'm tired of it! I'm sick of it! I'm desperate! I'm dying from her, I
-tell you!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Still soothing Cousin Fanny, but speaking with one hand nervously
-clutching her own head as she does so_.]
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny--you'd better go to bed now!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-I won't go to bed yet! I want my medicine. It's time for my medicine
-now. I won't go to bed till I've had my sleeping tablets.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Where are they, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-On top of the bookcase there. The small phial. [_John Speaker goes to
-the bookcase and begins to rummage for phial, while John Thinker says,
-meditatively_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-I suppose if one ever gave her the wrong medicine by mistake it would be
-called by some ugly name!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-People like her never get the wrong medicine given to them, and never
-take it by mistake themselves.
-
-John Speaker [_Finding bottle; examining it_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, didn't you have one of these about an hour ago?
-Didn't I see you take one of them right after dinner?
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Peevishly._]
-
-I don't know. I don't remember. I want one now, anyhow. My nerves are on
-the jump. You have got all my nerves on the jump. I'll take one, and nap
-here in the chair.
-
-John Speaker [_To Mary Speaker_.]
-
-She took one about an hour ago. I don't think it's quite right to let
-her have another so soon. They have a powerful depressing effect on the
-heart.
-
-Mary Speaker Let me see which ones they are.
-
-[_John Speaker holds the bottle out towards Mary Speaker, in front of
-Cousin Fanny. Cousin Fanny snatches it with a sudden motion, and laughs
-childishly. John Speaker and Mary Speaker look at each other inquiringly
-over her head._]
-
-John Speaker
-
-She really shouldn't have another one now, I'm afraid, dear. It might be
-pretty serious. [_To Cousin Fanny_.]
-
-You _did_ take one right after dinner, didn't you, Cousin Fanny?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Hugging bottle to her very excitedly_.]
-
-No! No! I tell you I didn't! I _will_ take one! You don't want me to get
-to sleep! You don't want me to get any rest! You want me to die!
-
-John Thinker I _know_ that she _did_ have one.
-
-Mary Speaker [_To John Speaker_.]
-
-What can you do, dear?
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking hold of Cousin Fanny's hands, and trying to take phial
-gently_.]
-
-See here, Cousin Fanny, you must be reasonable... you mustn't be
-stubborn about this. You can't have another tablet now. It's dangerous.
-It might even kill you!
-
-John Thinker
-
-It _would_ kill her as certainly as she sits there. John Speaker
-
-Come, come, Cousin Fanny... it might be dangerous.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-John, don't struggle with her! Don't you know if you struggle with her
-it is likely to prove fatal? The doctor says the _least_ strain will
-prove fatal.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Whimpering and struggling._]
-
-Let me have it! Let me alone! Let go of my hands! You want to kill me!
-You want me to die so you can get my money!
-
-John Speaker [_Releasing her._]
-
-No! No! No! Cousin Fanny... Come, be reasonable!
-
-[_He reaches for her hands again, and she grabs his hand and bites it.
-He draws back and says_:]
-
-Damn!
-
-[_Nurses his hand._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Did she bite you?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes.
-
-[_Nurses his hand, and Mary Speaker examines it, while Cousin Fanny
-pulls cork from phial with teeth, and John Thinker says_:]
-
-John Thinker
-
-The old viper has teeth yet!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is a cat... she is a she-devil... she is a witch... she has a bad
-heart....
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_To Mary Speaker, pointing to Cousin Fanny, who is shaking tablet out
-of bottle; she drops one and gropes for it, and shakes another more
-carefully, with air of childish triumph._]
-
-Mary, what _can_ I do? She _will_ have it! And if I struggle with her
-it will kill her! She is too weak to struggle! It will kill her to
-struggle! And if I let her take the tablet it may do her harm!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Perhaps the tablet won't do her any harm, John.
-
-John Thinker
-
-It will kill her as surely as she sits there. I know it will and _you_
-know it will.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Maybe it won't hurt her, Mary... but we can never tell.... I'm afraid...
-I'm afraid it really _might_ harm her....
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Putting tablet into her mouth_.]
-
-There! I'm going to sleep, now.... I'm going to sleep in spite of you.
-You hate me--both of you hate me--but you can't prevent me going to
-sleep!
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-She's taken it, John. Do you suppose she really _did_ have one before?
-
-John Speaker [To Cousin Fanny.]
-
-Cousin Fanny, you _didn't_ have one before, did you?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_She has closed her eyes; she opens them and rocks back and forth,
-laughing foolishly_.]
-
-Yes!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Taking out handkerchief; mopping fore-head_.]
-
-I don't believe she did. She says she did, but she doesn't know.
-
-Cousin Fanny [_Rocking and laughing sillily._]
-
-Yes, I did! You know I did!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She doesn't know.... She doesn't know whether she did or not.... She
-hasn't really been right in her mind for a long time. I don't think she
-had one before.
-
-[_As he speaks Cousin Fanny ceases rocking and leans hack in her chair,
-closing her eyes. From this time on the two Johns and the two Marys
-stare at her intently, never taking their eyes off of her while they
-speak._]
-
-John Thinker
-
-She _did_ have one before.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-I _know_ she did.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will she die? Will I see her die? I should hate to see her die!
-
-John Speaker
-
-She _would_ have that tablet... she WOULD have it. If I had taken it
-away from her by force it would have killed her; the struggle would have
-killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-Will I see her die? Will she die?
-
-John Speaker
-
-I let her have it to save her life... it was to save her life that I
-quit struggling with her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-If she dies... but _will_ she die?
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die!
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_Rousing from her lethargy slightly; open-ing her eyes._]
-
-John... Mary.... You really love me, don't you? Don't you? You really...
-really...
-
-[_Sinks back, with head slightly on one side and eyes closed again; does
-not move after this._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_They all speak with lowered voices now._] She is asleep. She really
-needed the tablet. It was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and
-overwrought, and it has put her to sleep.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Yes, it was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and overwrought, and it
-has put her to sleep.
-
-... And you know, Mary, she _would_ have t... if I had _struggled_ with
-her, she would have _died!_ A struggle would have killed her.
-
-John Thinker
-
-And now she will die because there was no struggle.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She will die.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Is she breathing quite naturally, Mary?
-
-Mary Speaker Quite. Quite naturally.
-
-Mary Thinker _Death_ is quite natural.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-John Speaker
-
-Well, if she had struggled and died... if she had died through any fault
-of mine... I would always have reproached myself....
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You need never reproach
-yourself with regard to her....
-
-John Thinker
-
-She was old. She was very old. She will be better dead.
-
-Mary Thinker She is not quite dead.
-
-John Speaker
-
-I don't like the way she is breathing.... She is scarcely breathing....
-She doesn't seem to be breathing at all!
-
-Mary Speaker Old people breathe very quietly.
-
-Mary Thinker Old people die very quietly.
-
-John Thinker And she is dying.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-She is dead!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Mary... Mary... is she breathing at all? Mary Speaker
-
-Call the maid.... Send for the doctor.... Call the maid!
-
-John Thinker It is too late for any doctor.
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Too late!
-
-John Speaker
-
-Mary, Mary.... My God... she can't be _dead!_
-
-Mary Speaker [_Bending above her._]
-
-John, dear... try to bear it bravely... but... but I'm afraid she is....
-Poor Cousin Fanny has left us!
-
-John Speaker
-
-[_Rapidly_.]
-
-Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny.... Poor Cousin Fanny....
-
-John Thinker
-
-Fifteen thousand a year... fifteen thousand a year.... Why do I think of
-that?... But I can't help it.... I can't help thinking of it....
-
-Mary Speaker I'll go get the maid.
-
-[_Going_.]
-
-John Speaker
-
-Stop.... Wait, Mary.... Don't call her yet... get her presently.... I
-don't want to be alone just now.... I'm in a kind of fog....
-
-[_Lights go out as he says this; he continues in the darkness._]
-
-I'm all in the dark.
-
-[_Lights on again_.]
-
-[_In the interim, which is very short, Cousin Fanny has gone over to the
-room on the left in which are John and Mary Thinker, and sits in chair
-corresponding to one which she has just left._]
-
-[_She is silent and motionless, but her head is lifted; her eyes are
-open; she is alive again. When lights go on again, John and Mary Speaker
-still stand before chair she has left as if she were in it; it is
-apparent that they believe themselves to be still looking at the old
-woman._]
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-Nonsense... all in the dark?... What do you mean by all in the dark?
-
-John Speaker
-
-Nothing... nothing now. It has passed....
-
-[Pointing to chair where Cousin Fanny was.] She died with a smile on her
-face!
-
-John Thinker
-
-But she isn't there.... Cousin Fanny isn't there.
-
-... She's here.... She's over here with us... over here with _us_!
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-Here with us... over here, forever, now.
-
-Mary Speaker
-
-[_Holding John Speaker's hand and gazing at vacant chair_.]
-
-How beautiful she looks! She is at rest, now! She is better off so.
-Better dead. She is better at peace!
-
-John Thinker
-
-[_Violently; starting towards other room_.]
-
-My God. I'm going to stop it... stop it... stop that lying... stop it
-at any cost.... I'm going to stop that pretending... that damned
-pretending....
-
-Mary Thinker
-
-[_Quickly getting in front of him; holding him back._]
-
-What are you going to do?
-
-John Thinker
-
-Stop it, I tell you.... Tell the truth... stop that pretense....
-
-[_Moves towards the other room. As he does so, Mary Speaker and John
-Speaker, for the first time become aware of John and Mary Thinker, and
-shrink back in terror and alarm, clinging together, confused, convicted,
-abject, retreating, powerless; Cousin Fanny leaps in front of John
-Thinker at same instant, and bars him back, saying:_]
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-Stop!
-
-John Thinker
-
-Why? I _will_ stop this pretense... Why not?
-
-Cousin Fanny
-
-[_All four of the others lean forward and hang eagerly upon her words_.]
-
-You must not. It can't be done. It is the foundation upon which your
-society rests. It is necessary..._ over there!_
-
-CURTAIN
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
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- <head>
- <title>
- Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
- </title>
- <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
-
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- P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; }
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-
-<pre>
-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of Carter, and Other People, by Don Marquis
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: Carter, and Other People
-
-Author: Don Marquis
-
-Release Date: May 1, 2016 [EBook #51913]
-Last Updated: March 13, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
- <div style="height: 8em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h1>
- CARTER, AND OTHER PEOPLE
- </h1>
- <h2>
- By Don Marquis
- </h2>
- <h4>
- D. Appleton and Co.
- </h4>
- <h5>
- 1921
- </h5>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <p>
- <b>CONTENTS</b>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_FORE"> FOREWORD </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0002"> I.-Carter </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0003"> II&mdash;Old Man Murtrie </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0004"> III.&mdash;Never Say Die </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0005"> IV.&mdash;McDermott </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0006"> V.&mdash;Looney the Mutt </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0007"> VI&mdash;Kale </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0008"> VII&mdash;Bubbles </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0009"> VIII.&mdash;The Chances of the Street </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0010"> IX.&mdash;The Professor's Awakening </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> X.&mdash;The Penitent </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0012"> XI.&mdash;The Locked Box </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0013"> XII.&mdash;Behind the Curtain </a>
- </p>
- <p class="toc">
- <a href="#link2H_4_0014"> XIII.&mdash;Words and Thoughts </a>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_FORE" id="link2H_FORE"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- FOREWORD
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span> wish to
- acknowledge my indebtedness to the editors of several magazines for
- permission to reprint the following stories in book form. &ldquo;Carter&rdquo; was
- originally published in <i>Harpers Monthly Magazine</i> under the title
- &ldquo;The Mulatto.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Death and Old Man Murtrie&rdquo; was printed in The New <i>Republic</i>; others
- were first brought out in <i>Everybody's Magazine, Short Stories, Putnam's
- Magazine and the Saturday Evening Post</i>. &ldquo;The Penitent&rdquo; was originally
- printed in <i>The Pictorial Review</i>, with the title &ldquo;The Healer and the
- Penitent.&rdquo; The plot of this story is taken from two poems, one by Browning
- and one by Owen Meredith. Happening to read these two poems, one after the
- other, I was struck by the fact that Owen Meredith had unwittingly written
- what was in effect a continuation of a situation invented by Browning; the
- plot of the one poem, telescoped into the plot of the other, made in
- effect a complete short story. I pasted the two situations together, so to
- speak, inventing an ending of my own, and had a short story which neither
- Browning nor Owen Meredith could claim as his-and which I scarcely have
- the nerve to claim as mine. And yet this story, taken piecemeal from the
- two poets, gave me more trouble than anything else I ever tried to write;
- it was all there, apparently; but to transpose the story into a modern
- American setting was a difficult job. It is my only essay in conscious
- plagiarism-I hate to call it plagiarism, but what else could one call it?&mdash;and
- I give you my word that it is easier to invent than to plagiarize.
- </p>
- <p>
- The one-act play, &ldquo;Words and Thoughts,&rdquo; was written ten years ago-in
- 1911-and has been offered to every theatrical manager in America, and
- refused by them all. I still believe in it as a thing that could be acted
- with effect, and I am determined to get it read, even if I cannot get it
- produced. The fact that it has been going the rounds of theatrical
- managers for ten years is no indication that it has ever been read.
- </p>
- <p>
- Don Marquis
- </p>
- <p>
- New York
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0002" id="link2H_4_0002"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- I.-Carter
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">C</span>arter was not
- exactly a negro, but he was a &ldquo;nigger.&rdquo; Seven drops of his blood out of
- every eight were Caucasian. The eighth, being African, classified him. The
- white part of him despised and pitied the black part. The black part hated
- the white part. Consequently, wherever Carter went he carried his own hell
- along inside of him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter began to learn that he was a nigger very early in life. Nigger
- children are not left long in doubt anywhere, and especially in the South.
- Carter first saw the light&mdash;and the shadows&mdash;of day in Atlanta.
- The color line itself, about which one hears so much talk, seemed to run
- along one end of the alley in which he was born. It was an alley with a
- gutter and a great deal of mud in it. At the corner, where it gave into a
- little narrow street not much better than an alley itself, the mud was the
- thickest, deepest, and best adapted to sculptural purposes. But in the
- little street lived a number of white families. They were most of them
- mill hands, and a numerous spawn of skinny children, little &ldquo;crackers,&rdquo;
- with faces white and sad even from babyhood, disputed the mud with the
- nigger children. Nigger babies of five, four, three, and even two,
- understood quite well that this most desirable mud, even though it was in
- the nigger alley, was claimed by the white babies as <i>their</i> mud. It
- was in every way a more attractive sort of mud than any in the little
- street proper; and juvenile race riots were of almost hourly occurrence&mdash;skirmishes
- in which the very dogs took part. For the dogs grasped the situation as
- clearly as did the children; a &ldquo;nigger&rdquo; dog, even though he may have
- started in life as a white man's dog, soon gets a certain look about him.
- </p>
- <p>
- So there was no chance for Carter to escape the knowledge that he was a
- nigger. But it was with a thrill that he perceived in his youthful
- excursions from the home alley, that he was sometimes mistaken for a white
- child. He was so white in color that one could not tell he was a nigger at
- a casual glance.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he grew up, he made another discovery that elated and embittered him
- still more. He found out who his father was&mdash;or rather, who his
- father had been, since he never saw that gentleman. The white blood in
- Carter's veins was no common ichor. Because white people seldom speak of
- these things it does not follow that they are not known pretty generally
- among the negroes. They are, in fact, discussed.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter went to school; he made the further discovery that he had brains&mdash;&ldquo;white
- man's brains&rdquo; is the way he put it to himself. Given the opportunity, he
- told himself, he could go as far as the average white man&mdash;perhaps
- further than the average. The white man's standard, nigger though he was,
- was still the standard by which he must measure himself. But the
- opportunity! Even as the youth prepared himself for it he perceived,
- hopelessly, that it would be denied him.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he matured he began to feel a strange, secret pride in that white
- family whose blood he shared. He familiarized himself with its genealogy.
- There is many a courtier who cannot trace his ancestry as far back as
- Carter could. One of his forebears had signed Magna Charta; several had
- fought in the Revolutionary War. There had been a United States Senator in
- the family, and a Confederate General. At times, feeling the vigorous
- impulse of hereditary instinct and ambitions, Carter looked upon himself
- as all white man, but never for long, nor to any purpose. The
- consciousness of his negro blood pulled him down again.
- </p>
- <p>
- But, as he grew up, he ceased to herd with black negroes; he scorned them.
- He crept about the world cursing it and himself&mdash;an unfortunate and
- bitter creature that had no place; unfortunate and bitter, cursed with an
- intellect, denied that mitigation that might have come with a full share
- of the negro jovialty of disposition, forever unreconciled.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was one member of that white family from which he drew so much of
- his blood whom Carter particularly admired. Willoughby Howard was about
- Carter's own age, and he was Carter's half-brother. Howard did not
- distinguish Carter from any other mulatto; probably did not know of his
- existence. But as Howard reached manhood, and, through virtue of his
- wealth and standing and parts, began to attain an excellent place in the
- world, his rise was watched by Carter with a strange intensity of emotion.
- Carter in some occult way identified himself with the career of Willoughby
- Howard&mdash;sometimes he almost worshiped Willoughby Howard, and then he
- hated him; he envied him and raged over him with the same breath.
- </p>
- <p>
- But mostly, as the isolation of his own condition, ate into his soul, he
- raged over himself; he pitied himself; he hated himself. Out of the
- turmoil of his spirit arose the one despairing cry, Oh, to be white,
- white, <i>white!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Many a night he lay awake until daybreak, measuring the slow minutes with
- the ceaseless iteration of that useless prayer: Only to be white! O God,
- for <i>one little year of being white!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Fruitless hours of prayers and curses!
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter went North. He went to New York. But the North, which affects to
- promise so much to the negro, in a large, loose, general way, does not
- perform in the same degree. There was only one thing which Carter would
- have thanked any one for performing; it was the one thing that could never
- be performed&mdash;he wanted to be made white. Sometimes, indeed, from the
- depths of his despair, he cried out that he wanted to be altogether black;
- but in his soul he did not really want that.
- </p>
- <p>
- Nevertheless, at several different periods he yielded to temptation and
- &ldquo;went over to the whites.&rdquo; In the South he could not have done this
- without discovery, in spite of the color of his skin. But in the Northern
- cities, with their enormous numbers of aliens, all more or less strange to
- the American eye, Carter found no great difficulty in passing as white. He
- &ldquo;looked a little foreign&rdquo; to the casual glance; that was all.
- </p>
- <p>
- But if there was no great difficulty in it, there was no great
- satisfaction in it, either. In fact, it only made him the more bitter.
- Others might think him a white man, but he knew that he was a nigger.
- </p>
- <p>
- The incident which sent him back South, resolved to be a nigger, and to
- live and die among the niggers, might not have affected another in his
- condition just as it did Carter. But to him it showed conclusively that
- his destiny was not a matter of environment so much as a question of
- himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- He fell in love. The girl was a waitress in a cheap restaurant near the
- barber shop where Carter worked. She was herself a product of the East
- Side, struggling upward from the slums; partly Italian, with some Oriental
- strain in her that had given the least perceptible obliqueness to her eyes&mdash;one
- of those rare hybrid products which give the thinker pause and make him
- wonder what the word &ldquo;American&rdquo; will signify a century from now; a
- creature with very red lips and very black eyebrows; she seemed to know
- more than she really did; she had a kind of naïve charm, a sort of
- allurement, without actual beauty; and her name had been Anglicized into
- Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- And she loved Carter. This being, doomed from the cradle to despair, had
- his moment of romance. But even in his intoxication there was no hope; his
- elation was embittered and perplexed. He was tempted not to tell the girl
- that he was a nigger. But if he married her, and did not tell her, perhaps
- the first child would tell her. It might look more of a nigger than he
- did.
- </p>
- <p>
- But if he told her, would she marry a nigger? He decided he would tell
- her. Perhaps his conscience had less to do with this decision than the
- fatalism of his temperament.
- </p>
- <p>
- So he made his revelation one Sunday evening, as they walked along the
- boardwalk from Coney Island to Brighton. To him, it was a tremendous
- moment. For days he had been revolving in his mind the phrases he would
- use; he had been rehearsing his plea; in his imagination he saw something
- spectacular, something histrionic, in his confession.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he said, as they sat down on a bench on the beach, &ldquo;there is
- something I think I ought to tell you before we get married.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The girl turned toward him her big, sleepy, dark eyes, which always seemed
- to see and understand so much more than they really did, and looked away
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I ought to tell you,&rdquo; he said&mdash;and as he said it, staring out to
- sea, he was so imposed upon by the importance of the moment to himself
- that he almost felt as if the sea listened and the waves paused&mdash;&ldquo;I
- ought to tell you that I have negro blood in my veins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She was silent. There was a moment before he dared look at her; he could
- not bear to read his doom in her eyes. But finally he did muster up
- courage enough to turn his head.
- </p>
- <p>
- The girl was placidly chewing gum and gazing at an excursion vessel that
- was making a landing at one of the piers.
- </p>
- <p>
- He thought she had not heard. &ldquo;Mary,&rdquo; he repeated, &ldquo;I have negro blood in
- my veins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said she. &ldquo;I gotcha the first time, Steve! Say, I wonder if we
- couldn't take the boat back to town? Huh? Whatcha say?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He looked at her almost incredulous. She had understood, and yet she had
- not shrunk away from him! He examined her with a new interest; his
- personal drama, in which she, perforce, must share, seemed to have made no
- impression upon her whatsoever.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you mean,&rdquo; he said, hesitatingly, &ldquo;that it will&mdash;that it won't
- make any difference to you? That you can marry me, that you <i>will</i>
- marry me, in spite of&mdash;of&mdash;in spite of what I am?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Gee! but ain't you the solemn one!&rdquo; said the girl, taking hold of her gum
- and &ldquo;stringing&rdquo; it out from her lips. &ldquo;Whatcha s'pose I care for a little
- thing like that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He had looked for a sort of dramatic &ldquo;situation&rdquo;; and, behold, there was
- none! There was none simply because the girl had no vantage point from
- which to look at his life and hers. He had negro blood in his veins&mdash;and
- she simply did not care one way or the other!
- </p>
- <p>
- He felt no elation, no exultation; he believed that she <i>should</i> have
- cared; whether her love was great enough to pardon that in him or not, she
- should have felt it as a thing that <i>needed</i> pardon.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he stared at the girl, and she continued to chew her gum, he swiftly
- and subtly revised his estimate of her; and in his new appraisement there
- was more than a tinge of disgust. And for a moment he became altogether a
- white man in his judgment of the thing that was happening; he looked at
- the situation as a patrician of the South might have looked at it; the
- seven eighths of his blood which was white spoke:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;By God!&rdquo; he said, suddenly leaping to his feet and flinging aside the
- startled hand which the girl put out toward him, &ldquo;I can't have anything to
- do with a woman who'd marry a nigger!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So Carter went back to Atlanta. And, curiously enough, he stepped from the
- train almost into the midst of a strange and terrible conflict of which
- the struggle in his individual breast was, in a sense, the type and the
- symbol.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was a Saturday night in September, an evening on which there began a
- memorable and sanguinary massacre of negroes; an event which has been
- variously explained and analyzed, but of which, perhaps, the underlying
- causes will never be completely understood.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was riot in the streets, a whirlwind of passion which lashed the
- town and lifted up the trivial souls of men and spun them round and round,
- and passed and left the stains of blood behind. White men were making
- innocent negroes suffer for the brutal crimes of guilty negroes. It had
- been a hot summer; scarcely a day had passed during July and August
- without bringing to the newspapers from somewhere in Georgia a report of a
- negro assault upon some white woman. A blind, undiscriminating anger
- against the whole negro race had been growing and growing. And when, on
- that Saturday afternoon, the newspapers reported four more crimes, in
- rapid succession, all in or near Atlanta, the cumulative rage burst into a
- storm.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was no danger for Carter in the streets; more than a hasty glance
- was necessary to spy out his negro taint. He stood in a doorway, in the
- heart of the business district of the town, and watched the wild work that
- went on in a large, irregular plaza, where five streets come together and
- all the car lines in the place converge. From this roughly triangular
- plaza leads Decatur Street, at one time notorious throughout the South for
- its negro dives and gambling-dens.
- </p>
- <p>
- Now and then Carter could hear the crack of a pistol, close at hand or far
- away; and again some fleeing negro would start from a place of temporary
- concealment, at the approach of a mob that beat its way along a street,
- and make a wild dash for safety, as a rabbit startled from the sedge-grass
- scurries to the brush. There was not one mob, but several; the different
- bands united, split up, and reunited, as the shifting winds of madness
- blew. The plaza, with arc lights all about it, was the brilliantly
- illuminated stage on which more than one scene of that disgusting
- melodrama was played out; from some dim hell of gloom and clamor to the
- north or east would rush a shouting group that whirled and swayed beneath
- the lights, dancing like flecks of soot in their brightness, to disappear
- in the gloom again, shouting, cursing, and gesticulating, down one of the
- thoroughfares to the west or south. And to Carter, in whose heart there
- waxed a fearful turmoil of emotions, even as the two races clashed along
- the echoing streets, there was a strange element of unreality about it
- all; or, rather, the night was dreadful with that superior reality which
- makes so much more vivid than waking life the intense experience of
- dreams. Carter thrilled; he shook; he was torn with terror and pity and
- horror and hatred.
- </p>
- <p>
- No white man felt all that Carter felt that night; nor yet any negro. For
- he was both, and he was neither; and he beheld that conflict which was
- forever active in his own nature dramatized by fate and staged with a
- thousand actors in the lighted proscenium at his feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- This thought struck Carter himself, and he turned toward another man who
- had paused in the doorway, with no clear intention, but perhaps with the
- vague impulse of addressing him, as a point of solid contact and relief
- from the sense of hurrying nightmare that possessed both the streets and
- his own spirit.
- </p>
- <p>
- Startled, he saw that the other man was Willoughby Howard. Carter
- hesitated, and then advanced a step. But whatever he had to say was
- interrupted by a crowd that swept past them from Decatur Street in pursuit
- of a panting negro. The fleeing colored man was struck a dozen times; he
- fell at the street corner near them, and the mob surged on again into the
- darkness beyond, already in full chase of another quarry&mdash;all but one
- man, who left the mob and ran back as if to assure himself that the
- prostrate negro was really dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- This was a short man, a very short man, a dwarf with a big head too heavy
- for him, and little bandy legs&mdash;legs so inadequate that he wabbled
- like an overfed poodle when he ran. Carter had seen him twice before that
- night, dodging in and out among the feet of the rioters like an excited
- cur, stumbling, falling, trodden upon; a being with bloodshot eyes and
- matted hair, hoarse voice and menacing fist, drunken and staggering with
- blood lust; the very Gnome of Riot himself come up from some foul cave and
- howling in the streets. &ldquo;Kill them! Kill them!&rdquo; he would cry, and then
- shake with cackling laughter. But he was only valiant when there was; no
- danger. As he approached the negro who lay upon the ground, and bent over
- him, Willoughby Howard stepped down from the doorway and aimed a blow at
- the creature with a cane. The blow missed, but the dwarf ran shrieking
- down Decatur Street.
- </p>
- <p>
- Howard bent over the negro. The negro stirred; he was not dead. Howard
- turned toward Carter and said:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's alive! Help me get him out of the street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Together they lifted the wounded man, moving him toward the curbstone. He
- groaned and twisted, and they laid him down. Howard poured whisky into him
- from a pocket flask, and a little later he managed to struggle to a
- sitting posture on the curb, looking up at them with dazed eyes and a
- bloody face.
- </p>
- <p>
- Howard took his slow gaze from the negro and covered his face with his
- hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- Carter watched him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Of all men in the world this was the one whom Carter most honored and most
- loved&mdash;honored and loved, while he envied; he was the only man,
- perhaps, that could have touched Carter through his crust of bitterness.
- Carter listened with strained attention for what Howard would say, as if
- with some premonition that the words would be the cue for the most vital
- action of his life.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My God! My God!&rdquo; said Willoughby Howard, &ldquo;will this thing never stop?&rdquo;
- And then he straightened himself and turned toward the shadow into which
- Carter had retired, and there was the glow and glory of a large idea on
- his face; the thought of a line of men never lacking, when once aroused,
- in the courage to do and die for a principle or a human need. &ldquo;There is
- one way,&rdquo; he cried, stretching out his hands impulsively to Carter, and
- not knowing to whom or to what manner of man he spoke&mdash;&ldquo;there is one
- way to make them pause and think! If two of us white men of the better
- class offer our lives for these poor devils&mdash;die in their defense!&mdash;the
- mob will halt; the crowd will think; we can end it! Will you do it, with
- me? Will you do it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Two of us white men of the better class! Willoughby Howard had taken him
- for a white man!
- </p>
- <p>
- It was like an accolade. A light blazed through the haunted caverns of his
- soul; he swelled with a vast exultation.
- </p>
- <p>
- Willoughby Howard had taken him for a white man! Then, by God, he would be
- one! Since he was nothing in this life, he could at least die&mdash;and in
- his death he would be a white man! Nay, more:&mdash;he would die shoulder
- to shoulder with one of that family whose blood he shared. He would show
- that he, too, could shed that blood for an idea or a principle! For
- humanity! At the thought he could feel it singing in his veins. Oh, to be
- white, white, white! The dreams and the despairs of all his miserable and
- hampered life passed before him in a whirl, and now the cry was answered!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said, lifting his head, and rising at that instant into a larger
- thing than he had ever been, &ldquo;I will stand by you. I will die with you.&rdquo;
- And under his breath he added&mdash;&ldquo;my brother.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- They had not long to wait. In the confused horror of that night things
- happened quickly. Even as Carter spoke the wounded negro struggled to his
- feet with a scarce articulate cry of alarm, for around the corner swept a
- mob, and the dwarf with matted hair was in the lead. He had come back with
- help to make sure of his job.
- </p>
- <p>
- With the negro cowering behind them, the white man and the mulatto stepped
- forth to face the mob. Their attitude made their intention obvious.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't be a damned fool, Willoughby Howard,&rdquo; said a voice from the crowd,
- &ldquo;or you may get hurt yourself.&rdquo; And with the words there was a rush, and
- the three were in the midst of the clamoring madness, the mob dragging the
- negro from his two defenders.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Be careful&mdash;don't hurt Willoughby Howard!&rdquo; said the same voice
- again. Willoughby turned, and, recognizing the speaker as an acquaintance,
- with a sudden access of scorn and fury and disgust, struck him across the
- mouth. The next moment his arms were pinioned, and he was lifted and flung
- away from the negro he had been fighting to protect by half a dozen men.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You fools! You fools!&rdquo; he raged, struggling toward the center of the
- crowd again, &ldquo;you're killing a white man there. An innocent white man&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
- Do you stop at nothing? You're killing a <i>white man</i>, I say!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;White man?&rdquo; said the person whom he had struck, and who appeared to bear
- him little resentment for the blow. &ldquo;Who's a white man? Not Jerry Carter
- here! He wasn't any white man. I've known him since he was a kid&mdash;he
- was just one of those yaller niggers.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Carter heard it as he died.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0003" id="link2H_4_0003"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- II&mdash;Old Man Murtrie
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">O</span>ld Man Murtrie
- never got any fresh air at all, except on Sundays on his way to and from
- church. He lived, slept, cooked and ate back of the prescription case in
- his little dismal drug store in one of the most depressing quarters of
- Brooklyn. The store was dimly lighted by gas and it was always damp and
- suggested a tomb. Drifting feebly about in the pale and cold and faintly
- greenish radiance reflected from bottles and show cases, Old Man Murtrie
- with his bloodless face and dead white hair and wisps of whisker was like
- a ghost that has not managed to get free from the neighborhood of a
- sepulcher where its body lies disintegrating.
- </p>
- <p>
- People said that Old Man Murtrie was nearly a hundred years old, but this
- was not true; he was only getting along towards ninety. The neighborhood,
- however, seemed a little impatient with him for not dying. Some persons
- suggested that perhaps he really had been dead for a long time, and did
- not know it. If so, they thought, it might be kind to tell him about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Old Man Murtrie was not dead, any more than he was alive. And Death
- himself, who has his moments of impatience, began to get worried about Old
- Man Murtrie. It was time, Death thought, that he was dead, since he looked
- so dead; and Death had said so, both to God and to the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I don't want to garner him, naturally,&rdquo; Death would say, &ldquo;till I know
- which one of you is to have him. He's got to go somewhere, you know.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- God and Death and the Devil used to sit on the prescription counter in a
- row, now and then, and watch Old Man Murtrie as he slept in his humble
- little cot back there, and discuss him.
- </p>
- <p>
- God would look at Old Man Murtrie's pale little Adam's Apple sticking up
- in the faint gaslight, and moving as he snored&mdash;moving feebly, for
- even his snores were feeble&mdash;and say, with a certain distaste:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want him. He can't get into Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the Devil would look at his large, weak, characterless nose;&mdash;a
- nose so big that it might have suggested force on any one but Old Man
- Murtrie&mdash;and think what a sham it was, and how effectually all its
- contemptible effort to be a real nose was exposed in Old Man Murtrie's
- sleep. And the Devil would say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want him. He can't get into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Death would say, querulously: &ldquo;But he can't go on living forever.
- My reputation is suffering.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You should take him,&rdquo; the Devil would say to God. &ldquo;He goes to church on
- Sunday, and he is the most meek and pious and humble and prayerful person
- in all Brooklyn, and perhaps in all the world.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But he takes drugs,&rdquo; God would say. &ldquo;You should take him, because he is a
- drug fiend.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He takes drugs,&rdquo; the Devil would admit, &ldquo;but that doesn't make him a <i>fiend</i>.
- You have to do something besides take drugs to be a fiend. You will permit
- me to have my own notions, I am sure, on what constitutes a fiend.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You ought to forgive him the drugs for the sake of his piety,&rdquo; the Devil
- would say. &ldquo;And taking drugs is his only vice. He doesn't drink, or smoke
- tobacco, or use profane language, or gamble. And he doesn't run after
- women.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You ought to forgive him the piety for the sake of the drugs,&rdquo; God would
- tell the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never saw such a pair as you two,&rdquo; Death would say querulously.
- &ldquo;Quibble, quibble, quibble!&mdash;while Old Man Murtrie goes on and on
- living! He's lived so long that he is affecting death rates and insurance
- tables, all by himself, and you know what that does to my reputation.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Death would stoop over and run his finger caressingly across Old Man
- Murtrie's throat, as the Old Man slept. Whereupon Old Man Murtrie would
- roll over on his back and moan in his sleep and gurgle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He has wanted to be a cheat all his life,&rdquo; God would say to the Devil.
- &ldquo;He has always had the impulse to give short weight and substitute
- inferior drugs in his prescriptions and overcharge children who were sent
- on errands to his store. If that isn't sin I don't know what sin is. You
- should take him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I admit he has had those impulses,&rdquo; the Devil would say to God. &ldquo;But he
- has never yielded to them. In my opinion having those impulses and
- conquering them makes him a great deal more virtuous than if he'd never
- had 'em. No one who is as virtuous as all that can get into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never saw such a pair,&rdquo; Death would grumble. &ldquo;Can't you agree with each
- other about anything?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't abstain from his vices because of any courage,&rdquo; God would say.
- &ldquo;He abstained simply because he was afraid. It wasn't virtue in him; it
- was cowardice.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The fear of the Lord,&rdquo; murmured the Devil, dreamily, &ldquo;is the beginning of
- all wisdom.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But not necessarily the end of it,&rdquo; God would remark.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Argue, argue, argue,&rdquo; Death would say, &ldquo;and here's Old Man Murtrie still
- alive! I'm criticized about the way I do my work, but no one has any idea
- of the vacillation and inefficiency I have to contend with! I never saw
- such a pair as you two to vacillate!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Sometimes Old Man Murtrie would wake up and turn over on his couch and see
- God and Death and the Devil sitting in a row on the prescription counter,
- looking at him. But he always persuaded himself that it was a sort of
- dream, induced by the &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; he took; and he would take another dose
- of his &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; and go back to sleep again. He never spoke to them when
- he waked, but just lay on his cot and stared at them; and if they spoke to
- him he would pretend to himself that they had not spoken. For it was
- absurd to think that God and Death and the Devil could really be sitting
- there, in the dim greenish gaslight, among all the faintly radiant
- bottles, talking to each other and looking at him; and so Old Man Murtrie
- would not believe it.
- </p>
- <p>
- When he first began taking his &ldquo;medicine&rdquo; Old Man Murtrie took it in the
- form of a certain patent preparation which was full of opium. He wanted
- the opium more and more after he started, but he pretended to himself that
- he did not know there was much opium in that medicine. Then, when a
- federal law banished that kind of medicine from the markets, he took to
- making it for his own use. He would not take opium outright, for that
- would be to acknowledge to himself that he was an opium eater; he thought
- eating opium was a sin, and he thought of himself as sinless. But to make
- the medicine with the exact formula that its manufacturers had used,
- before they had been compelled to shut up shop, and use it, did not seem
- to him to be the same thing at all as being an opium eater. And yet, after
- the law was passed, abolishing the medicine, he would not sell to any one
- else what he made for himself; his conscience would not allow him to do
- so. Therefore, he must have known that he was eating opium at the same
- time he tried to fool himself about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- God and the Devil used to discuss the ethics of this attitude towards the
- &ldquo;medicine,&rdquo; and Old Man Murtrie would sometimes pretend to be asleep and
- would listen to them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He knows it is opium all right,&rdquo; God would say. &ldquo;He is just lying to
- himself about it. He ought to go to Hell. No one that lies to himself that
- way can get into Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's pretending for the sake of society in general and for the sake of
- religion,&rdquo; the Devil would say. &ldquo;If he admitted to himself that it was
- opium and if he let the world know that he took opium, it might bring
- discredit on the church that he loves so well. He might become a stumbling
- block to others who are seeking salvation, and who seek it through the
- church. He is willing to sacrifice himself so as not to hamper others in
- their religious life. For my part, I think it is highly honorable of him,
- and highly virtuous. No person as moral as that in his instincts can get
- into Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Talk, talk, talk!&rdquo; Death would say. &ldquo;The trouble with you two is that
- neither one of you wants Old Man Murtrie around where you will have to
- look at him through all eternity, and each of you is trying to put it on
- moral grounds.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Old Man Murtrie kept on living and praying and being pious and wanting
- to be bad and not daring to and taking his medicine and being generally as
- ineffectual in the world either for good or evil as a butterfly in a
- hurricane.
- </p>
- <p>
- But things took a turn. There was a faded-looking blonde woman with
- stringy hair by the name of Mable who assisted Old Man Murtrie in the
- store, keeping his books and waiting on customers, and so forth. She was
- unmarried, and one day she announced to him that she was going to have a
- child.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Murtrie had often looked at her with a recollection, a dim and
- faint remembrance, of the lusts of his youth and of his middle age. In his
- youth and middle age he had lusted after many women, but he had never let
- any of them know it, because he was afraid, and he had called his fears
- virtue, and had really believed that he was virtuous.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Whom do you suspect?&rdquo; asked Old Man Murtrie, leering at Mable like a
- wraith blown down the ages from the dead adulteries of ruined Babylon.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who?&rdquo; cried Mable, an unlessoned person, but with a cruel, instinctive
- humor. &ldquo;Who but you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She had expected Old Man Murtrie to be outraged at her ridiculous joke,
- and, because she was unhappy herself, had anticipated enjoying his
- astounded protests. But it was she who was astounded. Old Man Murtrie's
- face was blank and his eyes were big for a moment, and then he chuckled; a
- queer little cackling chuckle. And when she went out he opened the door
- for her and cocked his head and cackled again.
- </p>
- <p>
- It gave Mable an idea. She reflected that he took so much opium that he
- might possibly be led to believe the incredible, and she might get some
- money out of him. So the next evening she brought her mother and her
- brother to the store and accused him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Murtrie chuckled and... <i>and admitted it!</i> Whether he
- believed that it could be true or not, Mable and her people were unable to
- determine. But they made the tactical error of giving him his choice
- between marriage and money, and he chose matrimony.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Old Man Murtrie was suddenly seized with a mania for confession.
- God and Death and the Devil used to listen to him nights, and they
- wondered over him, and began to change their minds about him, a little. He
- confessed to the officials of his church. He confessed to all the people
- whom he knew. He insisted on making a confession, a public confession, in
- the church itself and asking for the prayers of the preacher and
- congregation for his sin, and telling them that he was going to atone by
- matrimony, and asking for a blessing on the wedding.
- </p>
- <p>
- And one night, full of opium, while he-was babbling about it in his sleep,
- God and Death and the Devil sat on the prescription counter again and
- looked at him and listened to his ravings and speculated.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm going to have him,&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;Any one who displays such
- conspicuous bad taste that he goes around confessing that he has ruined a
- woman ought to go to Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You don't want him for that reason,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;And you know you don't.
- You want him because you admire the idea of adultery, and think that now
- he is worthy of a place in Hell. You are rather entertained by Old Man
- Murtrie, and want him around now.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the Devil, &ldquo;suppose I admit that is true! Have you any
- counter claim?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;I am going to take Old Man Murtrie into Heaven. He knows
- he is not the father of the child that is going to be born, but he has
- deliberately assumed the responsibility lest it be born fatherless, and I
- think that is a noble act.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Rubbish!&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;That isn't the reason you want him. You want
- him because of the paternal instinct he displays. It flatters you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;why not? The paternal instinct is another name for the
- great creative force of the universe. I have been known by many names in
- many countries... they called me Osiris, the All-Father, in Egypt, and
- they called me Jehovah in Palestine, and they called me Zeus and Brahm...
- but always they recognized me as the Father. And this instinct for
- fatherliness appeals to me. Old Man Murtrie shall come to Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Such a pair as you two,&rdquo; said Death, gloomily, &ldquo;I never did see! Discuss
- and discuss, but never get anywhere! And all the time Old Man Murtrie goes
- on living.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then Death added:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why not settle this matter once and for all, right now? Why not wake Old
- Man Murtrie up and let him decide?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Decide?&rdquo; asked the Devil.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&mdash;whether he wants to go to Hell or to Heaven.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I imagine,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;that if we do that there can be no question as to
- which place he would rather go to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I don't know,&rdquo; said the Devil. &ldquo;Some people come to Hell quite
- willingly. I've been to Heaven myself, you know, and I can quite
- understand why. Are you afraid to have Old Man Murtrie make the choice?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wake him up, Death, wake him up,&rdquo; said God. &ldquo;It's unusual to allow people
- to know that they are making their own decision&mdash;though all of them,
- in a sense, do make it&mdash;but wake him up, Death, and we'll see.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So Death prodded Old Man Murtrie in the ribs, and they asked him. For a
- long time he thought it was only opium, but when he finally understood
- that it was really God and Death and the Devil who were there, and that it
- was really they who had often been there before, he was very much
- frightened. He was so frightened he couldn't choose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll leave it to you, I'll leave it to you,&rdquo; said Old Man Murtrie. &ldquo;Who
- am I that I should set myself up to decide?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said God, getting a little angry, perhaps, &ldquo;if you don't want to
- go to Heaven, Murtrie, you don't have to. But you've been, praying to go
- to Heaven, and all that sort of thing, for seventy or eighty years, and I
- naturally thought you were in earnest. But I'm through with you... you can
- go to Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh! Oh! Oh!&rdquo; moaned Old Man Murtrie.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said the Devil, &ldquo;I've changed my mind, too. My distaste for Murtrie
- has returned to me. I don't want him around. I won't have him in Hell.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here, now!&rdquo; cried Death. &ldquo;You two are starting it all over again. I
- won't have it, so I won't! You aren't fair to Murtrie, and you aren't fair
- to me! This matter has got to be settled, and settled to-night!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, then,&rdquo; said God, &ldquo;settle it. I've ceased to care one way or
- another.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I will not,&rdquo; said Death, &ldquo;I know my job, and I stick to my job. One of
- you two has got to settle it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Toss a coin,&rdquo; suggested the Devil, indifferently.
- </p>
- <p>
- Death looked around for one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's a qu-qu-quarter in m-m-my t-t-trousers' p-p-pocket,&rdquo; stammered
- Old Man Murtrie, and then stuck his head under the bedclothes and shivered
- as if he had the ague.
- </p>
- <p>
- Death picked up Murtrie's poor little weazened trousers from the floor at
- the foot of the cot, where they lay sprawled untidily, and shook them till
- the quarter dropped out.
- </p>
- <p>
- He picked it up.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Heads, he goes to Heaven. Tails, he goes to Hell,&rdquo; said Death, and tossed
- the coin to the ceiling. Murtrie heard it hit the ceiling, and started. He
- heard it hit the floor, and bounce, and jingle and spin and roll and come
- to rest. And he thrust his head deeper under the covers and lay there
- quaking. He did not dare look.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Look at it, Murtrie,&rdquo; said Death.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh! Oh! Oh!&rdquo; groaned Murtrie, shaking the cot.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Death reached over and caught him by the neck and turned his face so
- that he could not help seeing. And Old Man Murtrie looked and saw that the
- coin had fallen with the side up that sent him to&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- But, really, why should I tell you? Go and worry about your own soul, and
- let Old Man Murtrie's alone.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0004" id="link2H_4_0004"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- III.&mdash;Never Say Die
- </h2>
- <h3>
- |There seemed nothing left but suicide.
- </h3>
- <p>
- But how? In what manner? By what method? Mr. Gooley lay on his bed and
- thought&mdash;or tried to think. The pain in his head, which had been
- there ever since the day after he had last eaten, prevented easy and
- coherent thought.
- </p>
- <p>
- It had been three days ago that the pain left his stomach and went into
- his head. Hunger had become a cerebral thing, he told himself. His body
- had felt hunger so long that it refused to feel it any longer; it had
- shifted the burden to his brain.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It has passed the buck to my mind, my stomach has,&rdquo; murmured Mr. Gooley
- feebly. And the mind, less by the process of coherent and connected
- thought than by a sudden impulsive pounce, had grasped the idea of
- suicide.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not with a knife,&rdquo; considered Mr. Gooley. He had no knife. He had no
- money to buy a knife. He had no strength to go down the three flights of
- stairs in the cheap Brooklyn lodging house where he lay, and borrow a
- knife from the landlady who came and went vaguely in the nether regions,
- dim and damp and dismal.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not with a knife,&rdquo; repeated Mr. Gooley. And a large cockroach, which had
- been crawling along the footpiece of the old-fashioned wooden bed, stopped
- crawling at the words as if it understood, and turned about and looked at
- him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley wondered painfully, for it was a pain even to wonder about
- anything, why this cockroach should remind him of somebody who was somehow
- connected with a knife, and not unpleasantly connected with a knife. The
- cockroach stood up on the hindmost pair of his six legs, and seemed to put
- his head on one side and motion with his front legs at Mr. Gooley.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I get you,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, conscious that his mind was wandering from
- the point, and willing to let it wander. &ldquo;I know who you are! You were Old
- Man Archibald Hammil, the hardware merchant back in Mapletown, where I was
- a kid, before you dried up and turned into a cockroach.&rdquo; And Mr. Gooley
- wept a few weak tears. For old Archibald Hammil, the village hardware
- merchant, had sold him the first knife he had ever owned. His father had
- taken him into Hammil's store to buy it on his seventh birthday, for a
- present, and it had had a buckhorn handle and two blades. Again he saw Old
- Man Hammil in his dingy brown clothes, looking at him, with his head on
- one side, as this cockroach was doing. Again he felt his father pat him on
- the head, and heard him say always to remember to whittle <i>away</i> from
- himself, never <i>toward</i> himself. And he saw himself, shy and flushed
- and eager, a freckle-faced boy as good and as bad as most boys, looking up
- at his father and wriggling and wanting to thank him, and not knowing how.
- That was nearly forty years ago&mdash;and here he was, a failure and
- starving and&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Why</i> had he wanted a knife? Yes, he remembered now! To kill himself
- with.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's none of your damned business, Old Man Hammil,&rdquo; he said to the
- cockroach, which was crawling back and forth on the footboard, and pausing
- every now and then to look at him with disapproval.
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil had had ropes in his store, too, and guns and pistols, he
- remembered. He hadn't thought of Old Man Hammi's store in many years; but
- now he saw it, and the village street outside it, and the place where the
- stores left off on the street and the residences began, and berry bushes,
- and orchards, and clover in the grass&mdash;the random bloom, the little
- creek that bounded the town, and beyond the creek the open country with
- its waving fields of oats and rye and com. His head hurt him worse. He
- would go right back into Old Man Hammil's store and get a rope or a gun
- and end that pain.
- </p>
- <p>
- But <i>that</i> was foolish, too. There wasn't any store. There was only
- Old Man Hammil here, shrunk to the size of a cockroach, in his rusty brown
- suit, looking at him from the footboard of the bed and telling him in
- pantomime not to kill himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I will too!&rdquo; cried Mr. Gooley to Old Man Hammil. And he repeated, &ldquo;It's
- none of <i>your</i> damned business!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But how? Not with a knife. He had none. Not with a gun. He had none. Not
- with a rope. He had none. He thought of his suspenders. But they would
- never hold him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Too weak, even for me,&rdquo; muttered Mr. Gooley. &ldquo;I have shrunk so I don't
- weigh much more than Old Man Hammil there, but even at that those
- suspenders would never do the business.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- How did people kill themselves? He must squeeze his head till the pain let
- up a little, so he could think. Poison! That was it&mdash;yes, poison! And
- then he cackled out a small, dry, throaty laugh, his Adam's apple
- fluttering in his weazened throat under his sandy beard. Poison! He <i>hadn't</i>
- any poison. He hadn't any money with which to buy poison.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then began a long, broken and miserable debate within himself. If he
- had money enough with which to buy poison, would he go and buy poison? Or
- go and buy a bowl of soup? It was some moments before Mr. Gooley decided.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'd be game,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'd buy the soup. I'd give myself that one more
- chance. I must remember while I'm killing myself, that I'm not killing
- myself because I <i>want</i> to. I'm just doing it because I've <i>got</i>
- to. I'm not romantic. I'm just all in. It's the end; that's all.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil, on the footboard of the bed, permitted himself a series of
- gestures which Mr. Gooley construed as applause of this resolution. They
- angered Mr. Gooley, those gestures.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You shut up!&rdquo; he told the cockroach, although that insect had not spoken,
- but only made signs. &ldquo;This is none of your damned business, Old Man
- Hammil!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Hammil, he remembered, had always been a meddlesome old party&mdash;one
- of the village gossips, in fact. And that set him to thinking of Mapletown
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- The mill pond near the schoolhouse would soon be freezing over, and the
- boys would be skating on it&mdash;it was getting into December. And they
- would be going into Old Man Hammil's store for skates and straps and heel
- plates and files. And he remembered his first pair of skates, and how his
- father had taught him the proper way to keep them sharp with a file. He
- and the old dad had always been pretty good pals, and&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- Good God! Why <i>should</i> he be coming back to that? And to Old Man
- Hammil's store? It was that confounded cockroach there, reminding him of
- Old Man Hammil, that had done it. He wanted to die decently and quietly,
- and as quickly as might be, without thinking of all these things. He
- didn't want to lie there and die of starvation, he wanted to kill himself
- and be done with it without further misery&mdash;and it was a part of the
- ridiculous futility of his life, his baffled and broken and insignificant
- life, that he couldn't even kill himself competently&mdash;that he lay
- there suffering and ineffectual and full of self-pity, a prey to memories
- and harassing visions of the past, all mingled with youth and innocence
- and love, without the means of a quick escape. It was that damned
- cockroach, looking like Old Man Hammil, the village hardware merchant,
- that had brought back the village and his youth to him, and all those
- intolerable recollections.
- </p>
- <p>
- He took his dirty pillow and feebly menaced the cockroach. Feeble as the
- gesture was, the insect took alarm. It disappeared from the footboard of
- the bed. A minute later, however, he saw it climbing the wall. It reached
- the ceiling, and crawled to the center of the room. Mr. Goo-ley watched
- it. He felt as if he, too, could crawl along the ceiling. He had the crazy
- notion of trying. After all, he told himself light-headedly, Old Cockroach
- Hammil up there on the ceiling had been friendly&mdash;the only friendly
- thing, human or otherwise, that had made overtures to him in many, many
- months. And he had scared Cockroach Hammil away! He shed some more maudlin
- tears.
- </p>
- <p>
- What was the thing doing now? He watched as the insect climbed on to the
- gas pipe that came down from the ceiling. It descended the rod and perched
- itself on the gas jet. From this point of vantage it began once more to
- regard Mr. Gooley with a singular intentness.
- </p>
- <p>
- Ah! Gas! That was it! What a fool he had been not to think of it sooner!
- That was the way people killed themselves! Gas!
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley got himself weakly out of bed. He would get the thing over as
- quickly as possible now. It would be damnably unpleasant before he lost
- consciousness, no doubt, and painful. But likely not more unpleasant and
- painful than his present state. And he simply could not bear any more of
- those recollections, any more visions.
- </p>
- <p>
- He turned his back on the cockroach, which was watching him from the gas
- jet, and went methodically to work. The window rattled; between the upper
- and lower sashes there was a crevice a quarter of an inch wide. He plugged
- it with paper. There was a break in the wall of his closet; the plaster
- had fallen away, and a chink allowed the cockroaches from his room easy
- access to the closet of the adjoining room. He plugged that also, and was
- about to turn his attention to the keyhole, when there came a knock on his
- door.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley's first thought was: &ldquo;What can any one want with a dead man?&rdquo;
- For he looked upon himself as already dead. There came a second knock,
- more peremptory than the first, and he said mechanically, &ldquo;Come in!&rdquo; It
- would have to be postponed a few minutes, that was all.
- </p>
- <p>
- The door opened, and in walked his landlady. She was a tall and bulky and
- worried-looking woman, who wore a faded blond wig that was always askew,
- and Mr. Gooley was afraid of her. Her wig was more askew than usual when
- she entered, and he gathered from this that she was angry about something&mdash;why
- the devil must she intrude her trivial mundane anger upon himself, a
- doomed man? It was not seemly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she began severely, without preamble, &ldquo;I have always looked
- on you as a gentleman.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes?&rdquo; he murmured dully.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But you ain't,&rdquo; she continued. &ldquo;You ain't no better than a cheat.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He shrugged his shoulders patiently. He supposed that she was right about
- it. He owed her three weeks' room rent, and he was going to die and beat
- her out of it. But he couldn't help it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It ain't the room rent,&rdquo; she went on, as if vaguely cognizant of the
- general trend of his thoughts. &ldquo;It ain't the room rent alone. You either
- pay me that or you don't pay me that, and if you don't, out you go. But
- while you are here, you must conduct yourself as a gentleman should!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; murmured Mr. Gooley, &ldquo;haven't I?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the cockroach, perched on the gas jet above the landlady's head, and
- apparently listening to this conversation, moved several of his legs, as
- if in surprise.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You have not!&rdquo; said the landlady, straightening her wig.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What have I done, Mrs. Hinkley?&rdquo; asked Mr. Gooley humbly. And Old
- Cockroach Hammil from his perch also made signs of inquiry.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What have you done! What have you done!&rdquo; cried Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;As if the
- man didn't know what he had done I You've been stealin' my gas, that's
- what you have been doin'&mdash;stealin', I say, and there's no other word
- for it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley started guiltily. He had not been stealing her gas, but it came
- over him with a shock for the first time that that was what he had, in
- effect, been planning to do. The cockroach, as if it also felt convicted
- of sin, gave the gas jet a glance of horror and moved up the rod to the
- ceiling, where it continued to listen.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Stealin'!&rdquo; repeated Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;That's what it is, nothin' else but
- stealin'. You don't ever stop to think when you use one of them gas plates
- to cook in your room, Mr. Gooley&mdash;which it is expressly forbid and
- agreed on that no cooking shall be done in these rooms when they're rented
- to you&mdash;that it's my gas you're using, and that I have to pay for it,
- and that it's just as much stealin' as if you was to put your hand into my
- pocket-book and take my money!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Cooking? Gas plate?&rdquo; muttered Mr. Gooley. &ldquo;Don't say you ain't got one!&rdquo;
- cried Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;You all got 'em! Every last one of you! Don't you try
- to come none of your sweet innocence dodges over me. I know you, and the
- whole tribe of you! I ain't kept lodgers for thirty years without knowing
- the kind of people they be! 'Gas plate! Gas plate!' says you, as innocent
- as if you didn't know what a gas plate was! You got it hid here
- somewheres, and I ain't going to stir from this room until I get my hands
- on it and squash it under my feet! Come across with it, Mr. Gooley, come
- across with it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>haven't</i> one,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, very ill and very weary. &ldquo;You
- can look, if you want to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he lay back upon the bed. The cockroach slyly withdrew himself from
- the ceiling, came down the wall, and crawled to the foot of the bed again.
- If Mrs. Hinkley noticed him, she said nothing; perhaps it was not a part
- of her professional policy to draw attention to cockroaches on the
- premises. She stood and regarded Mr. Gooley for some moments, while he
- turned his head away from her in apathy. Her first anger seemed to have
- spent itself. But finally, with a new resolution, she said: &ldquo;And look I
- will! You got one, or else that blondined party in the next room has
- lied.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She went into the closet and he heard her opening his trunk. She pulled it
- into the bedroom and examined the interior. It didn't take long. She dived
- under the bed and drew out his battered suitcase, so dilapidated that he
- had not been able to get a quarter for it at the pawnshop, but no more
- dilapidated than his trunk.
- </p>
- <p>
- She seemed struck, for the first time since her entrance, with the utter
- bareness of the room. Outside of the bed, one chair, the bureau, and Mr.
- Cooley's broken shoes at the foot of the bed, there was absolutely nothing
- in it.
- </p>
- <p>
- She sat down in the chair beside the bed. &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you <i>ain't</i>
- got any gas plate.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you got <i>nothing at all.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;nothing.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You had a passel of books and an overcoat five or six weeks ago,&rdquo; she
- said, &ldquo;when you come here. It was seein' them books, and knowing what you
- was four or five years ago, when you lived here once before, that made me
- sure you was a gentleman.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley made no reply. The cockroach on the foot of the bed also seemed
- to be listening to see if Mrs. Hinkley had anything more to say, and
- suspending judgment.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; said the landlady, &ldquo;I beg your pardon. You was lied on by
- one that has a gas plate herself, and when I taxed her with it, and took
- it away from her, and got rid of her, she had the impudence to say she
- thought it was <i>allowed</i>, and that everybody done it, and named you
- as one that did.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mrs. Hinkley paused, but neither Mr. Gooley nor the cockroach had anything
- to contribute to the conversation.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Gas,&rdquo; continued Mrs. Hinkley, &ldquo;is gas. And gas costs money. I hadn't
- orter jumped on you the way I did, Mr. Gooley, but gas plates has got to
- be what you might call corns on my brain, Mr. Gooley. They're my sensitive
- spot, Mr. Gooley. If I was to tell you the half of what I have had to
- suffer from gas plates during the last thirty years, Mr. Gooley, you
- wouldn't believe it! There's them that will cheat you one way and there's
- them that will cheat you another, but the best of them will cheat you with
- gas plates, Mr. Gooley. With the exception of yourself, Mr. Gooley, I
- ain't had a lodger in thirty years that wouldn't rob me on the gas. Some
- don't think it's stealin', Mr. Gooley, when they steal gas. And some of
- 'em don't care if it is. But there ain't none of 'em ever thinks what a <i>landlady</i>
- goes through with, year in and year out.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She paused for a moment, and then, overcome with self-pity, she began to
- sniffle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And my rent's been raised on me again, Mr. Gooley! And I'm a month
- behind! And if I ain't come across with the two months, the old month and
- the new, by day after to-morrow, out I goes; and it means the poorhouse as
- fur as I can see, because I don't know anything else but keeping lodgers,
- and I got no place to go!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She gathered her apron up and wiped her eyes and nose with it. The
- cockroach on the footboard wiped his front set of feet across his face
- sympathetically.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I got it all ready but fifteen dollars,&rdquo; continued Mrs. Hinkley, &ldquo;and
- then in comes the gas bill this morning with <i>arrears</i> onto it. It is
- them <i>arrears</i>, Mr. Gooley, that always knocks me out! If it wasn't
- for them arrears, I could get along. And now I got to pay out part of the
- rent money onto the gas bill, with them arrears on it, or the gas will be
- shut off this afternoon.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The pain in Mr. Gooley's head was getting worse. He wished she would go.
- He hated hearing her troubles. But she continued:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's the way them arrears come onto the bill, Mr. Gooley, that has got me
- sore. About a week before you come here again to live, Mr. Gooley, there
- was a fellow stole fifteen dollars worth of my gas all at once. He went
- and killed himself, Mr. Gooley, and he used my gas to do it with. It
- leaked out of two jets for forty-eight hours up on the top floor, before
- the door was busted in and the body was found, and it came to fifteen
- dollars, and all on account of that man's cussedness, Mr. Gooley, I will
- likely get turned out into the street, and me sixty years old and no place
- to turn.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley sat up in bed feebly and looked at her. She <i>was</i> in real
- trouble&mdash;in about as much trouble as he was. The cockroach walked
- meditatively up and down the footboard, as if thinking it over very
- seriously.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mrs. Hinkley finally rose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, regarding him sharply, &ldquo;you look kind o' done up!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley.
- </p>
- <p>
- She lingered in the room for a few seconds more, irresolutely, and then
- departed.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley thought. Gas was barred to him now. He couldn't bring himself
- to do it with gas. There was still a chance that the old woman might get
- hold of the gas money and the rent money, too, and go on for a few years,
- but if he selfishly stole twelve or fifteen dollars' worth of gas from her
- this afternoon it might be just the thing that would plunge her into
- immediate destitution. At any rate, it was, as she had said, like stealing
- money from her pocketbook. He thought of what her life as a rooming-house
- keeper must have been, and pitied her. He had known many rooming houses.
- The down-and-outers know how to gauge the reality and poignancy of the
- troubles of the down-and-out. No, he simply could not do it with gas.
- </p>
- <p>
- He must think of some other method. He was on the fourth floor. He might
- throw himself out of the window onto the brick walk at the back of the
- building, and die. He shuddered as he thought of it. To jump from a
- twentieth story, or from the top of the Woolworth Tower, to a certain
- death is one thing. To contemplate a fall of three or four stories that
- may maim you without killing you, is another.
- </p>
- <p>
- Nevertheless, he would do it. He pulled the paper out of the crevice
- between the window sashes, opened the window and looked down. He saw the
- back stoop and there was a dirty mop beside it; there was an ash can, and
- there were two garbage cans there. And there was a starved cat that sat
- and looked up at him. He had a tremor and drew back and covered his face
- with his hands as he thought of that cat&mdash;that knowing cat, that
- loathsome, that obscene cat.
- </p>
- <p>
- He sat down on the edge of the bed to collect his strength and summon his
- resolution. The cockroach had crawled to the head of the bed and seemed to
- wish to partake of his thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Damn you, Old Archibald Hammil!&rdquo; he cried. And he scooped the cockroach
- into his hand with a sudden sweep and flung it out of the window. The
- insect fell without perceptible discomfort, and at once began to climb up
- the outside wall again, making for the window.
- </p>
- <p>
- The door opened and Mrs. Hinkley entered, her face cleft with a grin, and
- a tray in her hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; she said, setting it on the wash-stand, &ldquo;I'll bet you ain't
- had nothing to eat today!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- On the tray was a bowl of soup, a half loaf of bread with a long keen
- bread knife, a pat of butter, a boiled egg and a cup of coffee.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No, nor yesterday, either,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, and he looked at the soup
- and at the long keen bread knife.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Here's something else I want to show you, Mr. Gooley,&rdquo; said the landlady,
- dodging out of the door and back in again instantly. She bore in her hands
- this time a surprising length of flexible gas tubing, and a small
- nickel-plated pearl-handled revolver.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You see that there gas tubing?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That is what that blondined party in the next room had on to her gas
- plate&mdash;the nerve of her! Strung from the gas jet clear across the
- room to the window sill. And when I throwed her out, Mr. Gooley, she
- wouldn't pay her rent, and I took this here revolver to part pay it. What
- kind of a woman is it, Mr. Gooley, that has a revolver in her room, and a
- loaded one, too?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Just then the doorbell rang in the dim lower regions, and she left the
- room to answer it.
- </p>
- <p>
- And Mr. Gooley sat and looked at the knife, with which he might so easily
- stab himself, and at the gas cord, with which he might so easily hang
- himself, and at the loaded revolver, with which he might so easily shoot
- himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- He looked also at the bowl of soup.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had the strength to reflect&mdash;a meal is a meal. But <i>after</i>
- that meal, what? Penniless, broken in health, friendless, a failure&mdash;why
- prolong it for another twenty-four hours? A meal would prolong it, but
- that was all a meal <i>would</i> do&mdash;and after that would come the
- suffering and the despair and the end to be faced all over again.
- </p>
- <p>
- Was he man enough to take the pistol and do it now?
- </p>
- <p>
- Or did true manhood lie the other way? Was he man enough to drink the
- soup, and dare to live and hope?
- </p>
- <p>
- Just then the cockroach, which had climbed into the window and upon the
- washstand, made for the bowl of soup.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Here!&rdquo; cried Mr. Gooley, grabbing the bowl in both hands, &ldquo;Old Man
- Hammil! Get away from that soup!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the bowl being in his hands, he drank.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What do you mean by Old Man Hammil?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was Mrs. Hinkley who spoke. She stood again in the doorway, with a
- letter in her hands and a look of wonder on her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- Mr. Gooley set down the soup bowl. By an effort of the will he had only
- drunk half the liquid. He had heard somewhere that those who are suffering
- from starvation had better go slow at first when they get hold of food
- again. And he already felt better, warmed and resurrected, from the first
- gulp.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What,&rdquo; demanded the landlady, &ldquo;do you mean by yelling out about Old Man
- Hammil?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, feeling foolish, and looking it, &ldquo;I was talking to
- that cockroach there. He looks sort of like some one I knew when I was a
- kid, by the name of Hammil&mdash;Archibald Hammil.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Where</i> was you a kid?&rdquo; asked Mrs. Hinkley.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;In a place called Mapletown&mdash;Mapletown, Illinois,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley.
- &ldquo;There's where I knew Old Man Hammil.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the landlady, &ldquo;when you go back there you won't see him. He's
- dead. He died a week ago. This letter tells it. I was his niece. And the
- old man went and left me his hardware store. I never expected it. But all
- his kids is dead&mdash;it seems he outlived 'em all, and he was nearly
- ninety when he passed away.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, &ldquo;I don't remember you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You wouldn't,&rdquo; said the landlady. &ldquo;You must have been in short pants when
- I ran away from home and married the hardware drummer. But I'll bet you
- the old-timers in that burg still remembers it against me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The kids will be coming into that store about now to get their skates
- sharpened,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, looking at the boiled egg.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh!&rdquo; said Mrs. Hinkley. &ldquo;Don't you want to go back home and help
- sharpen 'em? I'm goin' back and run that there store, and I'll need a
- clerk, I suppose.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Mr. Gooley, breaking the eggshell.
- </p>
- <p>
- The cockroach, busy with a crumb on the floor, waved his three starboard
- legs genially at Mr. Gooley and Mrs. Hinkley&mdash;as if, in fact, he were
- winking with his feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0005" id="link2H_4_0005"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- IV.&mdash;McDermott
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">M</span>cDermott had gone
- over with a cargo of mules. The animals were disembarked at a Channel
- port, received by officers of that grand organization which guesses right
- so frequently, the Quartermaster Corps, and started in a southerly
- direction, in carload lots, toward the Toul sector of the Western Front.
- McDermott went with one of the carloads in an unofficial capacity. He had
- no business in the war zone. But the Quartermaster Corps, or that part of
- it in charge of his particular car, was in no mood to be harsh toward any
- one who seemed to understand the wants and humors of mules and who was
- willing to associate with them. And so, with his blue overalls and his red
- beard, McDermott went along.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll have a look at the war,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;and if I like it, I'll
- jine it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And if you don't like it,&rdquo; said the teamster to whom he confided his
- intention, &ldquo;I reckon you'll stop it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dunno,&rdquo; replied McDermott, &ldquo;as I would be justified in stoppin' a good
- war. The McDermotts has niver been great hands f'r stoppin' wars. The
- McDermotts is always more like to be startin' wars.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott got a look at the war sooner than any one, including the high
- command of the Entente Allies, would have thought likely&mdash;or, rather,
- the war got a look at McDermott. The carload of mules, separated from its
- right and proper train, got too far eastward at just the time the Germans
- got too far westward. It was in April, 1918, that, having entered
- Hazebrouck from the north, McDermott and his mules left it again, bound
- eastward. They passed through a turmoil of guns and lorries, Scotchmen and
- ambulances, Englishmen, tanks and ammunition wagons, Irishmen, colonials
- and field kitchens, all moving slowly eastward, and came to a halt at a
- little village where they should not have been at all, halfway between the
- northern rim of the forest of Nieppe and Bailleul.
- </p>
- <p>
- The mules did not stay there long.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'll stretch me legs a bit,&rdquo; said McDermott, climbing off the car and
- strolling toward a Grande Place surrounded by sixteenth-century
- architecture. And just then something passed over the Renaissance roofs
- with the scream of one of Dante's devils, struck McDermott's car of mules
- with a great noise and a burst of flame, and straightway created a
- situation in which there was neither car nor mules.
- </p>
- <p>
- For a minute it seemed to McDermott that possibly there was no McDermott,
- either. When McDermott regained consciousness of McDermott, he was sitting
- on the ground, and he sat there and felt of himself for many seconds
- before he spoke or rose. Great guns he had been hearing for hours, and a
- rattle and roll of small-arms fire had been getting nearer all that day;
- but it seemed to McDermott that there was something quite vicious and
- personal about the big shell that had separated him forever from his
- mules. Not that he had loved the mules, but he loved McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Mules,&rdquo; said he, still sitting on the ground, but trying to get his
- philosophy of life on to its legs again, &ldquo;is here wan minute an' gawn the
- nixt. Mules is fickle an' untrustworthy animals. Here was thim mules,
- wigglin' their long ears and arsk-in' f'r Gawd's sake c'u'd they have a
- dhrink of wather, an' promisin' a lifelong friendship&mdash;but where is
- thim mules now?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He scratched his red head as he spoke, feeling-of an old scar under the
- thick thatch of hair. The wound had been made some years previously with a
- bung starter, and whenever McDermott was agitated he caressed it tenderly.
- </p>
- <p>
- He got up, turned about and regarded the extraordinary Grande Place. There
- had once been several pretty little shops about it, he could see, with
- pleasant courtyards, where the April sun was trying to bring green things
- into life again, but now some of these were in newly made and smoking
- ruins. The shell that had stricken McDermott's mules from the roster of
- existence had not been the only one to fall into the village recently.
- </p>
- <p>
- But it was neither old ruins nor new ruins that interested McDermott
- chiefly. It was the humanity that flowed through the Grande Place in a
- feeble trickle westward, and the humanity that stayed there.
- </p>
- <p>
- Women and old men went by with household treasures slung in bundles or
- pushed before them in carts and perambulators, and they were wearing their
- best clothes, as if they were going to some village fête, instead of into
- desolation and homelessness; the children whom they carried, or who
- straggled after them, were also in their holiday best. Here was an ancient
- peasant with a coop of skinny chickens on a barrow; there was a girl in a
- silk gown carrying something in a bed quilt; yonder was a boy of twelve on
- a bicycle, and two things were tied to the handlebars&mdash;a loaf of
- bread and a soldier's bayonet. Perhaps it had been his father's bayonet.
- Quietly they went westward; their lips were dumb and their faces showed
- their souls were dumb, too. A long time they had heard the battle growling
- to the eastward; and now the war was upon them. It was upon them, indeed;
- for as McDermott gazed, another shell struck full upon a bell-shaped tower
- that stood at the north side of the Grande Place and it leaped up in
- flames and fell in dust and ruin, all gone but one irregular point of
- masonry that still stuck out like a snaggle tooth from a trampled skull.
- </p>
- <p>
- These were the ones that were going, and almost the last of the dreary
- pageant disappeared as McDermott watched. But those who stayed astonished
- him even more by their strange actions and uncouth postures.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't tell me,&rdquo; mumbled McDermott, rubbing his scar, &ldquo;that all thim
- sojers is aslape!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But asleep they were. To the east and to the north the world was one rip
- and rat-a-tat of rifle and machine-gun fire&mdash;how near, McDermott
- could not guess&mdash;and over the village whined and droned the shells,
- of great or lesser caliber; here was one gate to a hell of noise, and the
- buildings stirred and the budding vines in the courtyards moved and the
- dust itself was agitated with the breath and blast of far and near
- concussions; but yet the big open Place itself was held in the grip of a
- grotesque and incredible slumber.
- </p>
- <p>
- Sprawled in the gutters, collapsed across the doorsills, leaning against
- the walls, slept that portion of the British army; slept strangely,
- without snoring. In the middle of the Grande Place there was a young
- lieutenant bending forward across the wreck of a motor car; he had tried
- to pluck forth a basket from the tonneau and sleep had touched him with
- his fingers on the handle. And from the eastern fringes of the village
- there entered the square, as actors enter upon a stage, a group of a dozen
- men, with their arms linked together, swaying and dazed and stumbling. At
- first McDermott thought that wounded were being helped from the field. But
- these men were not wounded; they were walking in their sleep, and the
- group fell apart, as McDermott looked at them, and sank severally to the
- cobblestones. Scotchmen, Canadians, English, torn and battered remnants of
- many different commands, they had striven with their guns and bodies for
- more than a week to dam the vast, rising wave of the German attack&mdash;day
- melting into night and night burning into day again, till there was no
- such thing as time to them any longer; there were but two things in the
- world, battle and weariness, weariness and battle.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott moved across the square unchallenged. He had eaten and slept but
- little for two days himself, and he made instinctively for the open door
- of an empty inn, to search for food. In the doorway he stumbled across a
- lad who roused and spoke to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jack,&rdquo; said the boy, looking at him with red eyes out of an old, worn
- face, &ldquo;have you got the makin's?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He was in a ragged and muddied Canadian uniform, but McDermott guessed
- that he was an American.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I have that,&rdquo; said McDermott, producing papers and tobacco. But the boy
- had lapsed into slumber again. McDermott rolled the cigarette for him,
- placed it between his lips, waked him and lighted it for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- The boy took a puff or two, and then said dreamily: &ldquo;And what the hell are
- you doin' here with them blue overalls on?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I come to look at the war,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The soldier glanced around the Grande Place, and a gleam of deviltry
- flashed through his utter exhaustion. &ldquo;So you come to see the war, huh?
- Well, don't you wake it now. It's restin'. But if you'll take a chair and
- set down, I'll have it&mdash;called&mdash;for&mdash;you&mdash;in&mdash;in&mdash;in
- 'n 'our&mdash;or so&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- His voice tailed off into sleep once more; he mangled the cigarette, the
- tobacco mingling with the scraggly beard about his drawn mouth; his head
- fell forward upon his chest. McDermott stepped past him into the Hôtel
- Faucon, as the inn had called itself. He found no food, but he found
- liquor there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Frinch booze,&rdquo; said McDermott, getting the cork out of a bottle of brandy
- and sniffing it; &ldquo;but booze is booze!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And more booze is more booze, especially upon an empty stomach. It was
- after the fourth drink that McDermott pulled his chair up to one of the
- open windows of the inn and sat down, with the brandy beside him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm neglictin' that war I come all this way to see,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Grande Place, still shaken by the tremendous and unceasing pulsations
- of battle, far and near, was beginning to wake up. A fresh, or, at least,
- a fresher, battalion was arriving over the spur line of railroad along
- which McDermott's mules had been so mistakenly shunted, and was moving
- eastward through the town to the firing line. The men whom McDermott had
- seen asleep were rising at the word of command; taking their weapons,
- falling in, and staggering back to the interminable battle once more.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dunno,&rdquo; mused McDermott, as the tired men straggled past, &ldquo;whether I
- want to be afther j'inin' that war or not. It makes all thim lads that
- slapey! I dunno phwat the devil it is, the Frinch booze bein' so close to
- me, inside, or that war so close to me, outside, but I'm gittin' slapey
- m'silf.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was, likely, the brandy. There had not been a great deal of French
- brandy in McDermott's previous experience, and he did not stint himself.
- It was somewhere between the ninth and the fifteenth swallows of it that
- McDermott remarked to himself, rubbing the scar on his head:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I w'u'd jine that war now, if I c'u'd be sure which way it had wint!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then he slid gently out of his chair and went to sleep on the floor
- just inside the open window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- The war crept closer and took another look at McDermott. As the warm
- golden afternoon waned, the British troops, fighting like fiends for every
- inch of ground, exacting a ghastly toll of lives from the Germans, were
- forced back into the eastern outskirts of the town. There, with rifle and
- machine gun, from walls, trees, courtyards, roofs and ruins, they held the
- advancing Germans for an hour. But they were pushed back again, doggedly
- establishing themselves in the houses of the Grande Place. Neither British
- nor Germans were dropping shells into that village now, each side fearful
- of damaging its own men.
- </p>
- <p>
- A British subaltern with a machine gun and two private soldiers entered
- the inn and were setting the gun up at McDermott's window when a German
- bullet struck the officer and he fell dead across the slumbering
- McDermott. Nevertheless, the gun was manned and fought for half an hour
- above McDermott, who stirred now and then, but did not waken. Just at dusk
- an Irish battalion struck the Germans on the right flank of their
- assaulting force, a half mile to the north of the village, rolled them
- back temporarily, and cleared the village of them. This counter attack
- took the firing line a good thousand yards eastward once more.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott roused, crawled from beneath the body of the British officer,
- and viewed it with surprise. &ldquo;That war has been here ag'in an' me aslape,&rdquo;
- said McDermott. &ldquo;I might jine that war if I c'u'd ketch up wid it&mdash;but
- 'tis here, 'tis there, 'tis gawn ag'in! An' how c'u'd I jine it wid no
- weapons, not even a good thick club to m' hands?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He foraged and found a piece of sausage that he had overlooked in his
- former search, ate it greedily and then stood in the doorway, listening to
- the sound of the firing. It was getting dark and northward toward Messines
- and Wytschaete and southward for more miles than he could guess the
- lightning of big guns flickered along the sky.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Anny way I w'u'd go,&rdquo; mused McDermott, &ldquo;I w'u'd run into that war if I
- was thryin' to dodge ut. And anny wray I w'u'd go, I w'u'd miss that war
- if I was thryin' to come up wid ut. An' till I make up me mind which wan I
- want to do, here will I sthay.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He opened another bottle of brandy, and drank and cogitated. Whether it
- was the cogitation or the drinks or the effect of the racket of war, his
- head began to ache dully. When McDermott's scar ached, it was his custom
- to take another drink. After a while there came a stage at which, if it
- still ached, he at least ceased to feel it aching any more.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The hotel here,&rdquo; he remarked, &ldquo;is filled wid hospitality and midical
- tratement, and where bet-ther c'u'd I be?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And presently, once more, a deep sleep overtook him. A deeper, more
- profound sleep, indeed, than his former one. And this time the war came
- still nearer to McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- The British were driven back again and again occupied the town, the
- Germans in close pursuit. From house to house and from wall to wall the
- struggle went on, with grenade, rifle and bayonet. A German, with a
- Scotchman's steel in his chest, fell screaming, back through the open
- window, and his blood as he died soaked McDermott's feet. But McDermott
- slept. Full night came, thick and cloudy, and both sides sent up floating
- flares. The square was strewn with the bodies of the dead and the bodies
- of the maimed in increasing numbers; the wounded groaned and whimpered in
- the shadows of the trampled Place, crawling, if they still could crawl, to
- whatever bit of broken wall seemed to offer momentary shelter and praying
- for the stretcher bearers to be speedy. But still McDermott slept.
- </p>
- <p>
- At ten o'clock that night two Englishmen once more brought a machine gun
- into the Hôtel Fauçon; they worked the weapon for twenty minutes from the
- window within ten feet of which McDermott now lay with his brandy bottle
- beside him. Once McDermott stirred; he sat up sleepily on the floor and
- murmured: &ldquo;An' where is that war now? Begad, an' I don't belave there is
- anny war!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he rolled over and went to sleep again. The men with the machine gun
- did not notice him; they were too busy. A moment later one of them sank
- with a bullet through his heart. His comrade lasted a little longer, and
- then he, too, went down, a wound in his lungs. It took him some weary
- minutes to choke and bleed to death, there in that dark place, upon the
- floor, among the dead men and McDermott's brandy bottles and the heap of
- ammunition he had brought with him. Hist struggle did not wake McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- By midnight the British had been driven back until they held the houses at
- the west end of the town and the end of the spur railroad that came
- eastward from Hazebrouck. The Germans were in the eastern part of the
- village, and between was a &ldquo;no man's land,&rdquo; of which the Grande Place was
- a part. What was left of the Hôtel Faucon, with the sleeping McDermott in
- it, was toward the middle of the south side of the square. In the streets
- to the north and south of the Place patrols still clashed with grenade and
- bayonet and rifle, but the Germans attempted no further advance in any
- force after midnight. No doubt they were bringing up more men; no doubt,
- with the first morning light, they would move forward a regiment or two,
- possibly even a division, against the British who still clung stubbornly
- to the western side of the town. All the way from Wytschaete south to
- Givenchy the battle-line was broken up into many little bitter struggles
- of this sort, the British at every point facing great odds.
- </p>
- <p>
- When dawn came, there came with it a mist. And three men of a German
- patrol, creeping from house to house and ruin to ruin along the south side
- of that part of &ldquo;no man's land&rdquo; which was the Grande Place, entered the
- open door of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- One of them stepped upon McDermott's stomach, where he lay sleeping and
- dreaming of the war he had come to look at.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott, when he had been drinking, was often cross. And especially was
- he cross if, when sleeping off his liquor, some one purposely or
- inadvertently interfered with his rightful and legitimate rest. When this
- coarse and heavy-footed intruder set his boot, albeit unwittingly, upon
- McDermott's stomach, McDermott sat up with a bellow of rage, instinctively
- and instantaneously grabbed the leg attached to the boot, rose as burning
- rocks rise from a volcano, with the leg in his hands, upset the man
- attached to the leg, and jumped with two large feet accurately upon the
- back of that person's neck. Whereupon the Boche went to Valhalla.
- McDermott, though nearer fifty than forty years old, was a barroom fighter
- of wonderful speed and technique, and this instinctive and spontaneous
- maneuver was all one motion, just as it is all one motion when a cat in a
- cellar leaps over a sack of potatoes, lands upon a rat, and sinks her
- teeth into a vital spot. The second German and the third German hung back
- an instant toward the door, and then came on toward the moving shadow in
- the midst of shadows. For their own good they should have come on without
- hanging back that second; but perhaps their training, otherwise so
- efficient, did not include barroom tactics. Their hesitation gave
- McDermott just the time he needed, for when he faced them he had the first
- German's gun in his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No war,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;can come into me slapin' chamber and stand on
- me stomach like that, and expict me to take it peaceful!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- With the words he fired the first German's rifle into the second German.
- The third German, to the rear of the second one, fired his gun
- simultaneously, but perhaps he was a hit flurried, for he also fired
- directly into the second German, and there was nothing the second German
- could do but die; which he did at once. McDermott leaped at the third
- German with his rifle clubbed just as the man pressed the trigger again.
- The bullet struck McDermott's rifle, splintered the butt of it and knocked
- it from his hands; but a second later McDermott's hands were on the barrel
- of the German's gun and the two of them were struggling for it.
- </p>
- <p>
- There is one defect in the German military system, observers say: the
- drill masters do not teach their men independent thinking; perhaps the
- drill-masters do not have the most promising material to work upon. At any
- rate, it occurred to McDermott to kick the third German in the stomach
- while the third German was still thinking of nothing else than trying to
- depress the gun to shoot or bayonet McDermott. Thought and kick were as
- well coordinated as if they had proceeded from one of McDermott's late
- mules.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Boche went to the floor of the Hôtel Faucon with a groan. &ldquo;Gott!&rdquo; he
- said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A stomach f'r a stomach,&rdquo; said Mc-Dermott, standing over him with the
- rifle. &ldquo;Git up!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The German painfully arose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye are me prisoner,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;an' the furst wan I iver took.
- Hould up y'r hands! Hould thim up, I say! Not over y'r stomach, man, but
- over y'r head!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The Boche complied hurriedly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see ye understhand United States,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I was afraid ye
- might not, an' I w'u'd have to shoot ye.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Kamerad!</i>&rdquo; exclaimed the man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye are no comrade av mine,&rdquo; said McDermott, peering at the man's face
- through the eery halflight of early morning, &ldquo;an' comrade av mine ye niver
- was! I know ye well! Ye are Goostave Schmidt b' name, an' wanst ye tinded
- bar in a dive down b' the Brooklyn wather front!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The man stared at McDermott in silence for a long minute, and then
- recollection slowly came to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;MagDermodd!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Batrick MagDermodd!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The same,&rdquo; said McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Gott sei dank!</i>&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;I haf fallen into der hands of a
- friend.&rdquo; And with the beginning of a smile he started to lower his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Put thim up!&rdquo; cried McDermott. &ldquo;Don't desave y'silf! Ye are no fri'nd av
- mine!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The smile faded, and something like a look of panic took its place on the
- German's face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Th' last time I saw ye, ye was in bad company, f'r ye was alone,&rdquo; said
- McDermott. &ldquo;An' I come over here lookin' f'r ye, an' I find ye in bad
- company ag'in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Looking?&rdquo; said the German with quite sincere perplexity. &ldquo;You gome here
- <i>looking</i> for me?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The wonder on the man's face at this unpremeditated jest of his having
- crossed the Atlantic especially to look for Gustave Schmidt titillated
- McDermott's whole being. But he did not laugh, and he let the German
- wonder. &ldquo;And phwy sh'u'd I not?&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- The German thought intensely for a while. &ldquo;Why <i>should</i> you gome all
- der vay agross der Adlandic looking for <i>me?</i>&rdquo; he said finally.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye have a short mimory,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;Ye do not recollict the time ye
- hit me on the head wid a bung starter whin I was too soused to defind
- m'silf? The scar is there yet, bad luck to ye!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But dot was nudding,&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;Dot bung-starder business was all
- a bart of der day's vork.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But ye cript up behint me,&rdquo; said McDermott; &ldquo;an' me soused!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But dot was der bractical vay to do it,&rdquo; said the German. &ldquo;Dot was
- nuddings at all, dot bung-starder business. I haf forgodden it long ago!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The McDermotts remimber thim compliments longer,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;An' b'
- rights I sh'u'd give ye wan good clout wid this gun and be done wid ye.
- But I'm thinkin' I may be usin' ye otherwise.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You gome all der vay agross der Adlandic yoost because I hit you on der
- head mit a bung starder?&rdquo; persisted the German, still wondering. &ldquo;Dot,
- MagDermodd, I cannot belief&mdash;<i>Nein!</i>&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And ye tore up y'r citizenship papers and come all the way across the
- Atlantic just to jine this gang av murtherin' child-killers,&rdquo; said
- McDermott. &ldquo;That I c'n belave! Yis!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I haf not dorn up my American cidizen papers&mdash;<i>Nein!</i>&rdquo;
- exclaimed the German, earnestly. &ldquo;Dose I haf kept. I gome across to fight
- for mein Faderland&mdash;dot vas orders. <i>Ja!</i> But mein American
- cidizenship papers I haf kept, and ven der war is ofer I shall go back to
- Brooklyn and once more an American citizen be, undill der next war. <i>Ja!</i>
- You haf not understood, but dot is der vay of it. <i>Ja!</i>&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Goostave,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;ye have too many countries workin' f'r ye.
- But y'r takin' ordhers from m'silf now&mdash;do ye get that? C'n ye play
- that musical insthrumint there by the window?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Ja!</i>&rdquo; said Gustave. &ldquo;Dot gun I can vork. Dot is der Lewis machine
- gun. Id is not so good a gun as our machine gun, for our machine gun haf
- been a colossal sugcess, but id is a goot gun.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye been fightin' f'r the Kaiser f'r three or four years, Goostave,&rdquo; said
- McDermott, menacing him with his rifle, &ldquo;but this mornin' I'll be afther
- seein' that ye do a bit av work f'r thim citizenship papers, an', later,
- ye can go to hell, if ye like, an' naturalize y'rsilf in still a third
- country. Ye will shoot Germans wid that gun till I get the hang av the
- mechanism m'silf. And thin I will shoot Germans wid that gun. But furst,
- ye will give me that fancy tin soup-bowl ye're wearin'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Gustave handed over his helmet. McDermott put it on his red head.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I've been thinkin',&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;will I jine this war, or will I not
- jine it. An' the only way ye c'n tell do ye like a thing or do ye not is
- to thry it wance. Wid y'r assistance, Goostave, I'll thry it this mornin',
- if anny more av it comes my way.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- More of it was coming his way. The Germans, tired of trifling with the
- small British force which held the village, had brought up the better part
- of a division during the night and were marshaling the troops for their
- favorite feat of arms, an overwhelming frontal attack <i>en masse</i>. The
- British had likewise received reinforcements, drawing from the north and
- from the south every man the hard-pressed lines could spare. But they were
- not many, perhaps some three thousand men in all, to resist the massed
- assault, with the railroad for its objective, which would surely come with
- dawn. If troops were needed in the village they were no less needed on the
- lines that flanked it. The little town, which had been the scene of so
- much desperate skirmishing the day before and during the first half of the
- night, was now about to become the ground of something like a battle.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's a French division on the way,&rdquo; said the British colonel in
- command in the village to one of his captains. &ldquo;If we can only hold them
- for an hour&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not finish the sentence. As he spoke the German bombardment,
- precedent to the infantry attack, began to comb the western fringes of the
- town and the railroad line behind, searching for the hurriedly-digged and
- shallow trenches, the improvised dugouts, the shell holes, the cellars and
- the embankments where the British lay. The British guns to the rear of the
- village made answer, and the uproar tore the mists of dawn to tatters. A
- shell fell short, into the middle of the Grande Place, and McDermott saw
- the broken motor car against which the sleeping lieutenant had leaned the
- day before vanish into nothingness; and then a house directly opposite the
- Hôtel Fauçon jumped into flame and was no more. Looking out across the
- back of the stooping Gustave at the window, McDermott muttered, &ldquo;I dunno
- as I w'u'd want to jine that war.&rdquo; And then he bellowed in Gustave
- Schmidt's ear: &ldquo;Cut loose! Cut loose wid y'rgun! Cut loose!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I vill not!&rdquo; shrieked Gustave. &ldquo;Mein Gott! Dat is mein own regiment!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye lie!&rdquo; shouted McDermott. &ldquo;Ye will!&rdquo; He thrust a bit of bayonet into
- the fleshiest part of the German's back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I vill! I vill!&rdquo; cried Gustave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Ye will that,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;an' the less damned nonsinse I hear from
- ye about y'r own rigimint the betther f'r ye! Ye're undher me own ordhers
- till I c'n make up me mind about this war.&rdquo; The mists were rising. In the
- clearing daylight at the eastern end of the square, as if other clouds
- were moving forward with a solid front, appeared the first gray wave of
- the German infantry. Close packed, shoulder to shoulder, three deep, they
- came, almost filling the space from side to side of the Grande Place,
- moving across that open stretch against the British fire with a certain
- heavy-footed and heavy-brained contempt of everything before them. Ten
- steps, and the British machine guns and rifles caught them. The first
- wave, or half of it, went down in a long writhing windrow, across the east
- end of the square, and in the instant that he saw it squirm and toss
- before the trampling second wave swept over it and through it, the
- twisting gray-clad figures on the stones reminded McDermott of the heaps
- of heaving worms he used to see at the bottom of his bait-can when he went
- fishing as a boy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hold that nozzle lower, Goostave!&rdquo; he yelled to his captive. &ldquo;Spray thim!
- Spray thim! Ye're shootin' over their heads, ye lumberin' Dutchman, ye!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Gott!</i>&rdquo; cried Gustave, as another jab of the bayonet urged him to
- his uncongenial task.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then McDermott made one of the few errors of his military career.
- Whether it was the French brandy he had drunk to excess the night before,
- or whether it was the old bung-starter wound on his head, which always
- throbbed and jumped when he became excited, his judgment deserted him for
- an instant. For one instant he forgot that there must be no instants free
- from the immediate occupation of guiding and directing Gustave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Let me see if I can't work that gun m'self,&rdquo; he cried.
- </p>
- <p>
- As he relaxed his vigilance, pushing the German to one side, the Boche
- suddenly struck him upon the jaw. McDermott reeled and dropped his rifle;
- before he could recover himself, the German had it. The weapon swung
- upward in the air and&mdash;just then a shell burst outside the open
- window of the Hôtel Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- Both men were flung from their feet by the concussion. For a moment
- everything was blank to McDermott. And then, stretching out his hand to
- rise, his fingers encountered something smooth and hard upon the floor.
- Automatically his grasp closed over it and he rose. At the same instant
- the German struggled to his feet, one hand behind his back, and the other
- extended, as if in entreaty.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Kamerad</i>,&rdquo; he whined, and even as he whined he lurched nearer and
- flung at McDermott a jagged, broken bottle. McDermott ducked, and the
- dagger-like glass splintered on his helmet. And then McDermott struck&mdash;once.
- Once was enough. The Boche sank to the floor without a groan, lifeless.
- McDermott looked at him, and then, for the first time, looked at what he
- held in his own hand, the weighty thing which he had wielded so
- instinctively and with such ferocity. It was the bung starter of the Hôtel
- Fauçon.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Goostave niver knowed what hit him,&rdquo; said McDermott. And if there had
- been any one to hear, in all that din, a note of regret that Gustave never
- knew might have been remarked in his voice.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott turned his attention to the machine gun, which, with its tripod,
- had been knocked to the floor. He squatted, with his head below the level
- of the window sill, and looked it over.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Tis not broken,&rdquo; he decided, after some moments of examination. &ldquo;Did
- Goostave do it so? Or did he do it so?&rdquo; He removed his helmet and rubbed
- the scar under his red hair reflectively. &ldquo;If I was to make up me mind to
- jine that war,&rdquo; mused McDermott, &ldquo;this same w'u'd be a handy thing to take
- wid me. It w'u'd that! Now, did that Goostave that used to be here pull
- this pretty little thingumajig so? Or did he pull it so? Ihaveut! He
- pulled it so! And thim ca'tridges, now&mdash;do they feed in so? Or do
- they feed in so? 'T w'u'd be a handy thing, now, f'r a man that had anny
- intintions av jinin' the war to know about all thim things!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, patiently, McDermott studied the mechanism, while the red sunlight
- turned to yellow in the Grande Place outside, and the budding green vines
- withered along the broken walls, and the stones ran blood, and the Hôtel
- Fauçon began to fall to pieces about his ears. McDermott did not hurry; he
- felt that there was no need to hurry; he had not yet made up his mind
- whether he intended to participate in this war. By the time he had learned
- how to work that machine gun, and had used it on the Germans for a while,
- he thought, he might be vouchsafed some light on that particular subject.
- It was one of McDermott's fixed beliefs that he was an extremely cautious
- sort of man, though many of his acquaintances thought of him differently,
- and he told himself that he must not get too far into this war until he
- was sure that it was going to be congenial. So far, it promised well.
- </p>
- <p>
- And also, McDermott, as he puzzled over the machine gun, was not quite the
- normal McDermott. He was, rather, a supernormal McDermott. He had been
- awakened rudely from an alcoholic slumber and he had been rather busy ever
- since; so many things had taken place in his immediate neighborhood, and
- were still taking place, that he was not quite sure of their reality. As
- he sat on the floor and studied the weapon, he was actually, from moment
- to moment, more than half convinced that he was dreaming&mdash;he might
- awaken and find that that war had eluded him again. Perhaps he is scarcely
- to be chided for being in what is sometimes known as a state of mind.
- </p>
- <p>
- And while McDermott was looking at the machine gun, the British commander
- prayed, as a greater British commander before him had prayed one time, for
- assistance, only this one did not pray for night or Blucher as Wellington
- had done. Night was many hours beyond all hope and would probably bring
- its own hell when it came, and as for Prussians, there were too many
- Prussians now. His men would hold on; they had been holding on for epic
- days and unbelievable nights, and they would still hold while there was
- breath in their bodies, and when their bodies were breathless they would
- hold one minute more. But&mdash;God! For Foch's <i>poilus!</i> There is a
- moment which is the ultimate moment; the spirit can drag the body until&mdash;until
- spirit and body are wrenched into two things. No longer. His men could die
- in their tracks; they were dying where they stood and crouched and lay, by
- dozens and by scores and by heroic hundreds&mdash;but when they were dead,
- who would bar the way to Hazebrouck, and beyond Hazebrouck, to the channel
- ports?
- </p>
- <p>
- That way was all but open now, if the enemy but realized it. Any moment
- they might discover it. A half-mile to the south of the village the line
- was so thinly held that one strong, quick thrust must make a gap. Let the
- enemy but fling a third of the troops he was pounding to pieces in the
- bloody streets of the town, in the torn fields that flanked it, and in the
- shambles of the Grande Place that was the center of this action, at that
- weak spot, and all was over. But with a fury mechanical, insensate, the
- Germans still came on in direct frontal attacks.
- </p>
- <p>
- The British had slain and slain and slain, firing into the gray masses
- until the water boiled in the jackets of the machine guns. Five attacks
- had broken down in the Grande Place itself&mdash;and now a sixth was
- forming. Should he still hold fast, the colonel asked himself, or should
- he retire, saving what machine guns he might, and flinging a desperate
- detachment southward in the attempt to make a stronger right flank? But to
- do that might be the very move that would awaken the Germans to their
- opportunity there. So long as they pounded, pounded at his center, he
- would take a toll of them, at least&mdash;but the moment was coming&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I have ut!&rdquo; cried McDermott, and mounted his gun at the window.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is time to retire,&rdquo; said the British colonel, and was about to give
- the order.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Right in their bloody backs,&rdquo; said McDermott to himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- And so it was. For the sixth advance of the German masses had carried them
- well into the Grande Place. McDermott, crouched at his window, cut loose
- with his gun at pointblank range as the first wave, five men deep, passed
- by him, splashing along the thick ranks from behind as one might sweep a
- garden hose down a row of vegetables. Taken thus in the rear, ambushed,
- with no knowledge of the strength of the attacking force behind them, the
- German shock troops swayed and staggered, faced about and fell and broke.
- For right into the milling herd of them, and into the second advancing
- wave, the British poured their bullets. The colonel, who had been about to
- order a retreat, ordered a charge, and before the stampeded remnant of the
- first two waves could recover themselves the British were on them with
- grenades and bayonets, flinging them back into the third wave, just
- advancing to their support, in a bleeding huddle of defeat.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott saw the beginning of that charge, and with his bung starter in
- his hand he rushed from the door to join it. But he did not see the end of
- it, nor did he see the <i>poilus</i>, as they came slouching into the
- village five minutes later to give the repulse weight and confirmation,
- redolent of onions and strange stews, but with their bayonets&mdash;those
- bayonets that are part of the men who wield them, living things, instinct
- with the beautiful, straight, keen soul of France herself.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott did not see them, for some more of the Hôtel Fauçon had fallen
- on him, crushing one of his ankles and giving him a clout on the head.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Whoever it was turned loose that machine gun from the inn window, did the
- trick,&rdquo; said the colonel, later. &ldquo;It's hardly too much to say that he
- blocked the way to Hazebrouck&mdash;for the time, at least, if one man can
- be said to have done such a thing&mdash;what's that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That&rdquo; was McDermott, who was being carried forth, unconscious, to an
- ambulance. It was his blue overalls that had occasioned the colonel's
- surprise. He was neither French nor British nor German; palpably he was a
- civilian, and a civilian who had no business there. And in his hand he
- clasped a bung starter. His fingers were closed over it so tightly that in
- the base hospital later they found difficulty in taking it away from him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Owing, no doubt, to the blow on his head, McDermott was unable to recall
- clearly anything that had taken place from the moment he had first fallen
- asleep under the influence of French brandy until he awakened in the
- hospital nearly four weeks later. During this period there had been
- several intervals of more open-eyed dreaming, succeeded by lapses into
- profound stupor; but even in these open-eyed intervals, McDermott had not
- been himself. It was during one of these intervals that a representative
- of the French Government bestowed the Croix de Guerre upon McDermott, for
- it had been learned that he was the man behind the machine gun that had
- turned the tide of combat.
- </p>
- <p>
- McDermott, his eyes open, but his mind in too much of a daze even to
- wonder what the ceremony was about, sat in a wheel chair, and in company
- with half a dozen other men selected for decoration, listened to a brief
- oration in very good French, which he could not have understood had he
- been normal. In answer he muttered in a low tone, rubbing his broken and
- bandaged head: &ldquo;I think maybe I will jine that war, afther all!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The French officer assumed that McDermott had spoken some sort of
- compliment to France and kissed McDermott on both cheeks, in front of the
- hospital staff, several American reporters, and as much of the French army
- as qould be spared to do honor to the occasion. The <i>Croix de Guerre</i>
- made no impression upon McDermott, but the kiss briefly arrested his
- wandering consciousness, and he cried out, starting up in his chair and
- menacing the officer: &ldquo;Where is me bung starter?&rdquo; Then he fainted.
- </p>
- <p>
- A good many thousands of people in France and England and America learned
- from the newspapers the story of the nondescript in the blue overalls, who
- had behaved so gallantly at the crucial moment of a crucial fight. But
- McDermott never did. He seldom read newspapers. No one had been able to
- learn his name, so the reporters had given him a name. They called him
- &ldquo;Dennis.&rdquo; And it was &ldquo;Dennis&rdquo; who got the fame and glory. McDermott would
- not have identified himself with Dennis had he seen the newspapers. When
- he awakened from his long, broken stupor, with its intervals of dazed
- halfconsciousness, the first thing he did was to steal away from that
- hospital; he left without having heard of Dennis or of the decoration of
- Dennis.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was one thing that he had experienced that did live hazily and
- confusedly in his memory, however, although he could not fix it in its
- relationship to any other thing. And that was the fact that he had met
- Gustave Schmidt. Three or four months after he slipped away from the
- hospital&mdash;a period of unchronicled wanderings, during which he had
- tried unsuccessfully to enlist several times&mdash;he limped into a saloon
- on the Brooklyn water front and asked Tim O'Toole, the proprietor, for his
- usual. He had just got back to Brooklyn, and he carried his earthly
- possessions in a bundle wrapped in brown paper.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I hear Yordy Crowley isn't givin' his racket this year,&rdquo; said McDermott,
- laying his bundle on the bar and pouring out his drink.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He is not,&rdquo; said Tim. &ldquo;He is in France helpin' out thim English.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yordy will make a good sojer,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;He is a good man of his
- fists.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The Irish is all good sojers,&rdquo; said Mr. O'Toole, sententiously. &ldquo;There
- was that man Dinnis, now, that was in all av the papers.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not hear av him,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;An' phwat did he do?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He licked th' entire German army wan morn-in',&rdquo; said O'Toole, &ldquo;an' saved
- England, an' the Quane of France kissed him for it. 'Twas in all the
- papers. Or, maybe,&rdquo; said Mr. O'Toole, &ldquo;it was the King av Belg'um kissed
- him for ut. Anny-way wan of thim foreign powers kissed him wid the whole
- world lookin' on.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat did this Dinnis do thin?&rdquo; asked McDermott.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He attimpted to assault the person that kissed him,&rdquo; said O'Toole. &ldquo;Maybe
- 'twas the King av Italy. 'Twas in all the papers at th' time. Some wan
- told me ye were in France y'rsilf, Paddy.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was that,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I wint wid mules.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did ye see annything av the war?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;Divil a bit of ut, barrin' a lot o' racket
- an' a big roarin' divil av a stame-boiler thing that come bustin' through
- th' air an' took away the mules that was me passport. But I come near
- seein' some av ut, wan time.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' how was it that ye come near it, an' missed it?&rdquo; inquired Tim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I wint to slape,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;The war was slapin', an' I laid m'silf
- down b' the side av ut an' took a nap, too. Later, I woke up in the
- hospital, some wan havin' stipped on me whilst I was slapin', or
- somethin'. They was afther keep-in' me in th' hospital indefinite, an' I
- slipped away wan mornin', dodgin' the orderlies an' nurses, or I might
- have been there yet eatin' jelly an' gettin' me face washed f'r me. An'
- afther I got back here I thried to jine that war, but th' Amurrican Army
- w'u'd not have me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And phwy not?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Because av me fut.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And how did ye hurt y'r fut?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Divil a bit do I know how,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;I'm tellin' ye 'twas done
- whilst I was aslape. I remimber gettin' soused in wan av thim Frinch
- barrooms, an' I w'u'd think it was a mule stipped on me fut whin I was
- slapin' off me souse, excipt that thim mules was gone before I got me
- souse.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' ye saw naught av the war?&rdquo; Tim was distinctly disappointed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But little of ut, but little of ut,&rdquo; said McDermott. &ldquo;But, Timmy,&mdash;wan
- thing I did whilst I was in France.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat was that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I avened up an ould grudge,&rdquo; said McDermott. He put away a second drink,
- rolling it over his tongue with satisfaction. &ldquo;Do ye mind that Goostave
- Schmidt that used to kape bar acrost the strate? Ye do! Do ye mind th'
- time he hit me wid th' bung starter? Ye do!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Phwat thin?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, thin,&rdquo; said McDermott, &ldquo;I met up wid him ag'in in wan av thim
- Frinch barrooms. I do not remimber phwat he said to me nor phwat I said to
- him, for I was soused, Timmy. But wan word led to another, an' I give him
- as good as he sint, an' 'twas wid a bung starter, too. I brung it back wid
- me as a sooveneer av me travels in France.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, undoing his brown paper bundle, McDermott fished forth from among his
- change of socks and shirts and underwear the bung starter of the Hôtel
- Fauçon and laid it upon the bar for his friend's inspection. Something
- else in the bundle caught O'Toole's eye.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;An' phwat is that thing ye have there?&rdquo; asked Tim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Divil a bit do I know phwat,&rdquo; said McDermott, picking the article up and
- tossing it carelessly upon the bar. &ldquo;'Twas layin' by me cot in the
- hospital, along wid m' bung starter an' me clothes whin I come to m'silf,
- an' whin I made me sneak from that place I brung it along.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was the <i>Croix de Guerre</i>.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0006" id="link2H_4_0006"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- V.&mdash;Looney the Mutt
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">L</span>ooney had but one
- object in life, one thought, one conscious motive of existence&mdash;to
- find Slim again. After he found Slim, things would be different, things
- would be better, somehow. Just how, Looney did not know.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney did not know much, anyhow. Likely he would never have known much,
- in the most favorable circumstances. And the circumstances under which he
- had passed his life were scarcely conducive to mental growth. He could
- remember, vaguely, that he had not always been called Looney Hogan. There
- had been a time when he was called Kid Hogan. Something had happened
- inside his head one day, and then there had come a period of which he
- remembered nothing at all; after that, when he could remember again, he
- was not Kid any more, but Looney. Perhaps some one had hit him on the
- head. People were always hitting him, before he knew Slim. And now that
- Slim was gone, people were always hitting him again. When he was with
- Slim, Slim had not let people hit him&mdash;often. So he must find Slim
- again; Slim, who was the only God he had ever known.
- </p>
- <p>
- In the course of time he became known, in his own queer world, from
- Baltimore to Seattle, from Los Angeles to Boston, as Slim's Lost Mutt, or
- as Looney the Mutt. Looney did not resent being called a dog,
- particularly, but he never called himself &ldquo;The Mutt&rdquo;; he stuck to
- &ldquo;Looney&rdquo;; Slim had called him Looney, and Looney must, therefore, be
- right.
- </p>
- <p>
- The humors of Looney's world are not, uniformly, kindly humors. Giving
- Looney the Mutt a &ldquo;bum steer&rdquo; as to Slim's whereabouts was considered a
- legitimate jest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Youse ain't seen Slim Matchett anywheres?&rdquo; he would ask of hobo or
- wobbly, working stiff or yeggman, his faded pale-blue eyes peering from
- his weather-worn face with the same anxious intensity, the same eager
- hope, as if he had not asked the question ten thousand times before.
- </p>
- <p>
- And the other wanderer, if he were one that knew of Looney the Mutt and
- Looney's quest would answer, like as not:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slimmy de Match? Uh-huh! I seen Slim last mont' in Chi. He's lookin' fer
- youse, Looney.&rdquo; One day the Burlington Crip, who lacked a hand, and who
- looked so mean that it was of common report that he had got sore at
- himself and bitten it off, varied the reply a bit by saying:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I seen Slim las' week, an' he says: 'Where t' hell's dat kid o' mine?
- Youse ain't seen nuttin' o' dat kid o' mine, has you, Crip? Dat kid o'
- mine give me de slip, Crip. He lammistered, and I ain't seen him since. If
- youse gets yer lamps on dat kid o' mine, Crip, give him a wallop on his
- mush fer me, an' tell him to come an' find me an' I'm gonna give him
- another one.'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney stared and wondered and grieved. It hurt him especially that Slim
- should think that he, Looney, had run away from Slim; he agonized anew
- that he could not tell Slim at once that such was not the truth. And he
- wondered and grieved at the change that must have taken place in Slim, who
- now promised him &ldquo;a wallop on the mush.&rdquo; For Slim had never struck him. It
- was Slim who had always kept other people from striking him. It was Slim
- who had, upon occasion, struck other people to protect him&mdash;once, in
- a hangout among the lakeside sand dunes south of Chicago, Slim had knifed
- a man who had, by way of jovial byplay to enliven a dull afternoon, flung
- Looney into the fire.
- </p>
- <p>
- It never occurred to Looney to doubt, entirely, these bearers of
- misinformation. He was hunting Slim, and of course, he thought, Slim was
- hunting Looney. His nature was all credulity. Such mind as the boy
- possessed&mdash;he was somewhere in his twenties, but had the physique of
- a boy&mdash;was saturated with belief in Slim, with faith in Slim, and he
- thought that all the world must admire Slim. He did not see why any one
- should tell lies that might increase Slim's difficulties, or his own.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was a big red star he used to look at nights, when he slept in the
- open, and because it seemed to him bigger and better and more splendid
- than any of the other stars he took to calling it Slim's star. It was a
- cocky, confident-looking star; it looked as if it would know how to take
- care of itself, and Slim had been like that. It looked good-natured, too,
- and Slim had been that way. When Looney had rustled the scoffin's for
- Slim, Slim had always let him have some of the best chow&mdash;or almost
- always. And he used to talk to that star about Slim when he was alone. It
- seemed sympathetic. And although he believed the hoboes were telling him
- the truth when they said that they had seen Slim, it was apparent even to
- his intelligence that they had no real sympathy with his quest.
- </p>
- <p>
- Once he did find a certain sympathy, if no great understanding. He worked
- a week, one Spring, for a farmer in Indiana. The farmer wished to keep
- him, for that Summer at least, for Looney was docile, willing enough, and
- had a natural, unconscious tact with the work-horses. Looney was never
- afraid of animals, and they were never afraid of him. Dogs took to him,
- and the instant liking of dogs had often stood him in good stead in his
- profession.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why won't you stay?&rdquo; asked the farmer.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim's lookin' fer me, somewheres,&rdquo; said Looney. And he told the farmer
- about Slim. The farmer, having perceived Looney's mental twilight, and
- feeling kindly toward the creature, advanced an argument that he thought
- might hold him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim is just as likely to find you if you stay in one place, as if you go
- travelin' all over the country,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh-uh,&rdquo; said Looney. &ldquo;He ain't, Mister. It's this way, Mister: every
- time I stop long any-, wheres, Slim, he passes me by.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then he continued, after a pause: &ldquo;Slim, he was always good to me,
- Mister. I kinda want to be the one that finds Slim, instead of just
- stayin' still an' waitin' to be found.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- They were standing in the dusk by the barn, and the early stars were out.
- Looney told him about Slim's star.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I want to be the guy that does the findin',&rdquo; went on Looney presently,
- &ldquo;because I was the guy that done the losin'. One night they was five or
- six of us layin' under a lot of railroad ties we had propped up against a
- fence to keep the weather off, an' we figgered on hoppin' a train fer Chi
- that night. Well, the train comes along, but I'm asleep. See? The rest of
- t' gang gits into an empty in de dark, an' I don't wake up. I s'pose Slim
- he t'inks I'm wit' t' gang, but I don't wake up under them ties till
- mornin'. I went to Chi soon's I could, but I ain't never glommed him
- since, Mister. I didn't find him dere. An' dat's t' way I lost Slim,
- Mister.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Maybe,&rdquo; suggested the farmer, &ldquo;he is dead.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nit,&rdquo; said Looney. &ldquo;He ain't dead. If Slim was croaked or anything, I'd
- be wised up to it. Look at that there star. Dat is Slim's star, like I
- told youse. If Slim had been bumped off, or anything, Mister, that star
- wouldn't be shinin' that way, Mister.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he went back to his own world&mdash;his world&mdash;which was a
- succession of freight and cattle cars, ruinous sheds and shelters in
- dubious suburbs near to railroad sidings, police stations, workhouses,
- jails, city missions, transient hangouts in bedraggled clumps of wood,
- improvised shacks, shared with others of his kind in vacant lots in sooty
- industrial towns, chance bivouacs amidst lumber piles and under dripping
- water tanks, lucky infrequent lodgings in slum hotels that used to charge
- fifteen cents for a bed and now charge a quarter, golden moments in vile
- barrooms and blind tigers, occasional orgies in quarries or gravel pits or
- abandoned tin-roofed tool houses, uneasy, loiterings and interrupted
- slumbers in urban parks and the squares or outskirts of villages.
- Sometimes he worked, as he had with the Indiana farmer, with the wheat
- harvesters of the Northwest, or the snow shovelers of the metropoli, or
- the fruit gatherers of California; but more often he loafed, and rustled
- grub and small coin from the charitably disposed.
- </p>
- <p>
- It all seemed the natural way of life to Looney. He could not remember
- anything else. He viewed the people of the world who did not live so, and
- whom he saw to be the majority, as strange, unaccountable beings whom he
- could never hope to understand; he vaguely perceived that they were
- stronger than he and his ever-hiking clan, and he knew that they might do
- unpleasant things to him with their laws and their courts and their
- strength, but he bore them no rancor, unlike many of his associates.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had no theories about work or idleness; he accepted either as it came;
- he had little conscious thought about anything, except finding Slim again.
- And one thing worried him: Slim, who was supposed to be looking for
- Looney, even as Looney was looking for Slim, left no mark. He was forever
- looking for it, searching for the traces of Slim's knife&mdash;a name, a
- date, a destination, a message bidding Looney to follow or to wait&mdash;on
- freight sheds and water tanks, and known and charted telegraph poles and
- the tool houses of construction gangs. But Slim, always just ahead of him,
- as he thought, continually returning and passing him, ever receding in the
- distance, left no mark, no wanderer's pateran, behind. Looney left his own
- marks everywhere, but, strangely enough, it seemed that Slim never saw
- them. Looney remembered that one time when he and Slim were together Slim
- had wished to meet and confer with the Burlington Crip, and had left word
- to that effect, penciled and carved and sown by the speech of the mouth,
- from the Barbary Coast to the Erie Basin. And the Burlington Crip, with
- his snaggle teeth and his stump where a hand had been, had joined them on
- the Brooklyn waterfront within two months. It had been simple, and Looney
- wondered why Slim omitted this easy method of communication. Perhaps Slim
- was using it and Looney was not finding the marks. He knew himself for
- stupid, and set his failure down to that, never to neglect on Slim's part.
- For Slim was Slim, and Slim could do no wrong.
- </p>
- <p>
- His habit of searching for some scratched or written word of Slim's became
- known to his whole section of the underworld, and furnished material for
- an elaboration of the standing jest at his expense. When ennui descended
- upon some chance gathering in one of the transient hangouts&mdash;caravanserai
- as familiar to the loose-foot, casual guests, from coast to coast, as was
- ever the Blackstone in Chicago or the Biltmore in New York to those who
- read this simple history&mdash;it was customary for some wag to say:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Looney, I seen a mark that looked like Slim's mark on a shed down in
- Alexandria, Virginny, right by where the Long Bridge starts over to
- Washington.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And it might be that Looney would start at once, without a word, for
- Alexandria. Therein lay the cream of this subtle witticism, for its
- perpetrators&mdash;in Looney's swift departures.
- </p>
- <p>
- Or it might be that Looney would sit and ponder, his washed-out eyes
- interrogating the speaker in a puzzled fashion, but never doubting. And
- then the jester would say, perhaps: &ldquo;Why don't you get a move onto you,
- Looney? You're gonna miss Slim again.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Looney would answer, perchance: &ldquo;Slim, he ain't there now. The' was
- one of them wobblies' bump-off men sayin' he seen Slim in Tacoma two weeks
- ago, an' Slim was headin' this way. I'm gonna wait fer him a while
- longer.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But he never waited long. He could never make himself. As he had told the
- Indiana farmer, he was afraid to wait long. It was the Burlington Crip who
- had made him afraid to do that. The Crip had told him one time: &ldquo;Looney,
- Slim went through here last night, while youse was asleep over on that
- lumber pile. I forgets youse is lookin' fer him or I'd a tipped him off
- youse was here.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Slim had been within a hundred yards of him, and he had been asleep and
- had never known! What would Slim think, if he knew that? So thereafter he
- was continually tortured by the fancy that Slim might be passing him in
- the night; or that Slim, while he himself was riding the rods underneath a
- railway car, might be on the blind baggage of that very train, and would
- hop off first and be missed again. From day to day he became more muddled
- and perplexed trying to decide whether it would be better to choose this
- route or that, whether it would be better to stop here a week, or go
- yonder with all possible speed. And from month to month he developed more
- and more the questing, peering, wavering manner of the lost dog that seeks
- its master.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney was always welcome In the hang-outs of the wandering underworld.
- Not only was he a source of diversion, a convenient butt, but few could
- rustle grub so successfully. His meager frame and his wistfulness, his
- evident feebleness of intellect, drew alms from the solvent population,
- and Looney faithfully brought his takings to the hangouts and was
- dispatched again for more. Servant and butt he was to such lords as the
- Burlington Crip and the English Basher. But he did not mind so long as he
- was not physically maltreated&mdash;as he often was. The occasional crimes
- of his associates, the occasional connection of some of them with
- industrial warfare here and there, Looney sometimes participated in; but
- he never understood. If he were told to do so and so, for the most part he
- did it. If he were asked to do too much, or was beaten up for his
- stupidity, and he was always stupid, he quietly slunk away at his first
- opportunity.
- </p>
- <p>
- The English Basher was a red-faced savage with fists as hard and rough as
- tarred rope; and he conceived the idea that Looney should be his kid, and
- wait upon him, even as he had been Slim's kid. Looney, afraid of the man,
- for a time seemed to acquiesce. But the Basher had reckoned without
- Looney's faculty for blundering.
- </p>
- <p>
- He dispatched Looney one day, ostensibly to bum a handout, but in reality
- to get the lay of a certain house in a suburb near Cincinnati, which the
- Basher meditated cracking the next convenient night. Looney returned with
- the food but without the information. He had been willing enough, for he
- admired yeggmen and all their ways and works, and was withheld by no moral
- considerations from anything he was asked to do; but he had bungled. He
- had been in the kitchen, he had eaten his own scoffin's there, he had
- talked with the cook for twenty minutes, he had even brought up from the
- cellar a scuttle of coal for the kitchen range to save the cook's back,
- but he actually knew less about that house, its plan, its fastenings, its
- doors and basement windows than the Basher had been able to gather with a
- single stroke of the eye as he loitered down the street.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Cripes! Whadje chin about with the kitchen mechanic all dat time, you?&rdquo;
- demanded the Basher.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;She was stringin' me along,&rdquo; said Looney humbly, &ldquo;an' I spilled to her
- about me an' Slim.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim! &mdash;&mdash;&mdash; &mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash; yer, I've a mind
- t' croak yer!&rdquo; cried the Basher.
- </p>
- <p>
- And he nearly did it, knocking the boy down repeatedly, till finally
- Looney lay still upon the ground.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'S'elp me,&rdquo; said the Basher, &ldquo;I've a mind to give yer m' boots! You get
- up an' beat it! An' if I ever gets my lamps onto you again I <i>will</i>
- croak you, by Gawd, an' no mistake!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney staggered to his feet and hobbled to a safe distance. And then,
- spitting out a broken tooth, he dared to mutter: &ldquo;If Slimmy was here, he'd
- see de color o' youse insides, Slimmy would. Slimmy, he knifed a yegg
- oncet wot done less'n dat t'me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was only a week or two after he left the Basher that Looney's faith in
- Slim's star was tested again. Half a dozen of the brotherhood were
- gathered about a fire in a gravel pit in northern Illinois, swapping yarns
- and experiences and making merry. It was a tremendous fire, and lighted up
- the hollow as if it were the entrance to Gehenna, flinging the grotesque
- shadows of the men against the overhanging embankments, and causing the
- inhabitants of a village a mile or so away to wonder what farmer's
- haystack was aflame. The tramps were wasting five times the wood they
- needed, after their fashion. They had eaten to repletion, and they were
- wasting the left-over food from their evening gorge; they had booze; they
- were smoking; they felt, for the hour, at peace with the world.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wot ever <i>did</i> become of dat Slim?&rdquo; asked the Burlington Crip, who
- happened to be of the party, looking speculatively at Looney. Even the
- sinister Crip, for the nonce, was not toting with him his usual mordant
- grouch.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney was tending the fire, while he listened to tales of the spacious
- days of the great Johnny Yegg himself, and other Titans of the road who
- have now assumed the state of legendary heroes; and he was, as usual,
- saying nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim? Slimmy t' Match wot Looney here's been tailin' after fer so long?&rdquo;
- said the San Diego Kid. &ldquo;Slim, he was bumped off in Paterson t'ree or four
- years ago.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He wasn't neither,&rdquo; spoke up Looney. &ldquo;Tex, here, seen him in Chi last
- mont'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And, indeed, Tex had told Looney so. But now, thus directly appealed to,
- Tex answered nothing. And for the first time Looney began to get the vague
- suspicion that these, his friends, might have trifled with him before.
- Certainly they were serious now. He looked around the sprawled circle and
- sensed that their manner was somehow different from the attitude with
- which they had usually discussed his quest for Slim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bumped off?&rdquo; said Tex. &ldquo;How?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A wobbly done it,&rdquo; said the San Diego Kid. &ldquo;Slim, he was scabbin'.
- Strike-breakin'. And they was some wobblies there helpin' on the strike.
- See? An' this wobbly bumps Slim off.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't neither,&rdquo; said Looney again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;T' hell he didn't? He said he did,&rdquo; said the San Diego Kid pacifically.
- &ldquo;Is a guy gonna say he's bumped off a guy unless he's bumped him off?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney, somewhat shaken, withdrew from the group to seek comfort from the
- constellations; and particularly from that big, red star, the apparent
- king of stars, which he had come to think of as Slim's star, and vaguely,
- as Slim's mascot. It was brighter and redder than ever that night, Looney
- thought, and sitting on a discarded railroad tie and staring at the
- planet, Looney gradually recovered his faith.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He ain't neither been bumped off, Slim ain't,&rdquo; he muttered, &ldquo;an' I'm
- gonna find him yet.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Slim had not been bumped off, however sincere the San Diego Kid may
- have been in his belief.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was some months later that Looney did find him in a little city in
- Pennsylvania&mdash;or found some one that looked like him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney had dropped from a freight train early in the morning, had rustled
- himself some grub, had eaten two good meals and had part of a day's sleep,
- and now, just as dark was coming on, and the street lamps were being
- lighted, was loafing aimlessly on the platform of the railway depot. He
- purposed to take a train south that night, when it became so dark that he
- could crawl into an empty in the yards without too much danger of being
- seen and he was merely putting in the time until full night came on.
- </p>
- <p>
- While he was standing idly so, an automobile drew up beside the station
- platform and an elegantly dressed and slender man of about thirty got out.
- He assisted from the car a woman and a small child, and they made toward
- the door of the waiting room.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim!&rdquo; cried Looney, rushing forward.
- </p>
- <p>
- For this was Slim&mdash;it must be Slim&mdash;it was Slimmy the Match in
- every feature&mdash;and yet, the car!&mdash;the clothes&mdash;the woman&mdash;the
- baby&mdash;the prosperity&mdash;&mdash;- <i>Was</i> it Slim?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim!&rdquo; cried Looney again, his heart leaping in his meager body. &ldquo;It's
- me, Slim! It's Looney! I've got youse again, Slim! Gawd! I've found yuh!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The woman hastily snatched the child up into her arms, with a suppressed
- scream, and recoiled.
- </p>
- <p>
- The man made no sound, but he, too, drew back a step, not seeming to see
- Looney's outstretched hand.
- </p>
- <p>
- But he did see it&mdash;he saw more than that. He saw, as if they were
- flashed before him at lightning speed upon a cinema screen, a dozen scenes
- of a wild and reckless and indigent youth that he had thought was dead
- forever; he saw these roughneck years suddenly leap alive and stalk toward
- him again, toward him and his; he saw his later years of industry, his
- hard-won success, his position so strenuously battled for, his
- respectability that was become so dear to him, all his house of life so
- laboriously builded, crumbling before the touch of this torn and grotesque
- outcast that confronted and claimed him, this wavering, dusty lunatic whom
- he dimly remembered. If his wife knew&mdash;if her people knew&mdash;if
- the business men of this town were to know&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- He shuddered and turned sick, and then with a sudden recovery he took his
- child from its mother and guided her before him into the waiting room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Looney watched them enter, in silence. He stood dazed for a moment, and
- then he slowly turned and walked down the railroad track beyond the limits
- of the town. There, upon a spot of turf beside the right of way, he threw
- himself upon his face and sobbed and moaned, as a broken-hearted child
- sobs, as a dog moans upon its master's grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- But after a while he looked up. Slim's star was looking down at him, red
- and confident and heartening as ever. He gazed at it a long time, and then
- an idea took form in his ruined brain and he said aloud:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, dat wasn't <i>really</i> Slim! I been lookin' fer Slim so long I
- t'ink I see Slim where he ain't! Dat was jus' some guy wot looks like
- Slimmy. Slimmy, he wouldn't never of gone back on an old pal like dat!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The rumble of an approaching train caught his ears. He got to his feet and
- prepared to board it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Slim, he's waitin' fer me somewheres,&rdquo; he told the star. &ldquo;I may be kinda
- looney about some t'ings, but I knows Slim, an' dey ain't no yellow streak
- nowheres in Slim!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And with unshaken loyalty Looney the Mutt boarded the train and set off
- upon his endless quest anew.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0007" id="link2H_4_0007"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VI&mdash;Kale
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>ee that old fellow
- there?&rdquo; asked Ed the waiter. &ldquo;Well, his fad is money.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old fellow indicated&mdash;he must have been nearly eighty&mdash;sat
- eating corned beef and cabbage in a little booth in a certain delightful,
- greasy old chophouse in downtown New York. It was nearly time to close the
- chophouse for that day for it was almost eleven o'clock at night; it was
- nearly time to close the chophouse forever, for it was the middle of June,
- 1919. In a couple of weeks the wartime prohibition act would be in force,
- and Ed and I had been discussing what effect it would have upon our
- respective lives.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was no one else in the place at the time except the cashier and the
- old man whose fad was money, and so Ed had condescended toward me, as a
- faithful customer, and was sitting down to have a drink with me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His fad is money?&rdquo; I questioned, glancing at the old gentleman, who
- seemed to be nothing extraordinary as regards face or manner or attire. He
- had a long, bony New Englandish head and a short, white, well-trimmed
- beard; he was finishing his nowise delicate food with gusto. &ldquo;I should
- say,&rdquo; I added, &ldquo;that his fad was corned beef and cabbage.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's one of his fads,&rdquo; admitted Ed the waiter, &ldquo;and I don't know but
- that it's as strong in him as his money fad. At any rate, I've never seen
- him without one or the other was near him, and both in large quantities.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- We had been conversing in a mumble, so that our voices should not carry to
- the old gentleman. And now Ed dropped his voice still lower and whispered:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's Old Man Singleton.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I looked at him with a renewed interest. Every one knew who Old Man
- Singleton was, and many persons liked to guess how much he was worth.
- Ostensibly he had retired, leaving to his two sons the management of the
- Singleton banking business, with its many ramifications; but actually he
- kept his interest in the concern and was reputed to be coaching his
- grandsons in the ways of the world, and especially that part of the world
- known as &ldquo;The Street.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Starting out as a New England villager who hated poverty because his
- family had always known it, he had come to New York as a lad of twenty,
- with red knitted mittens on his osseous hands, and he had at once removed
- the mittens and put the hands to work gathering money; it was rumored that
- the hands had never turned loose any of the garnered coin; it was even
- said by some persons that he still had the same pair of mittens.
- </p>
- <p>
- The details of his rise I cannot give; he had achieved his ambition to be
- one of the very rich men of America because the ambition was so strong
- within him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Of course his fad is money,&rdquo; I muttered to Ed the waiter. &ldquo;Everybody
- knows that Old Man Singleton's fad is money.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed was about to reply, when Mr. Singleton looked up and motioned for his
- check. Ed brought it, and gave the old gentleman his hat and his stick and
- his change.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I hope everything was all right,&rdquo; Mr. Singleton said Ed, palpably bidding
- for recognition and a tip.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh? said Singleton, looking blankly at Ed You know me, hey? I don't
- recall you. Yes, everything was all right, thank you.&rdquo; He gave the waiter
- a dime and passed out, after another blank, fumbling look at Ed, and a
- shake of his head. There was something feeble and wandering in the old
- fellow's manner; his memory was going; it was obvious that before long the
- rest of him would follow his memory. He shouldn't be allowed to go around
- this way alone at night,&rdquo; murmured Ed, watching the door through which he
- had made his exit. &ldquo;But I suppose he's as bull-headed as ever about doing
- what he pleases, even if his legs are shaky.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He didn't know you,&rdquo; I hinted, for I wished to learn all that Ed knew
- about Old Man Singleton.
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed is a person who has been in the world nearly fifty years; he has had
- some very unusual acquaintances and experiences. It is never safe to
- predict just what Ed will know and what he will not know. One afternoon,
- after I had known Ed for about a year, I was attempting to argue some
- scientific point with a friend who was lunching with me, and Ed, who was
- waiting on us and listening, remarked: &ldquo;I beg your pardon, sir, but it
- wasn't in <i>The Descent of Man</i> that Darwin said that; it was in <i>The
- Origin of Species</i>.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And yet, if you deduce from that remark that Ed knows a great deal about
- modern science, you will be mistaken; as likely as not he could quote
- pages of Marcus Aurelius to you, and at the same time he might pronounce
- &ldquo;Euripides&rdquo; as if the last two syllables were one, riming with &ldquo;hides&rdquo;;
- his reading, like his life, has been elective.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He doesn't recall you,&rdquo; I repeated.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And that's ingratitude,&rdquo; said Ed, &ldquo;if he only knew it. I saved the old
- man's life once.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Ed limped over to the table and resumed his seat opposite me. He has a
- bullet under one kneecap, and at times it makes him very lame. He would
- never tell me how it came there; to this day I do not know.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;From what did you save his life?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;From a man,&rdquo; said Ed moodily.
- &ldquo;From a man who had a notion to bean him one night. And to this day I ask
- myself: 'Did I do right, or did I do wrong?'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me about it,&rdquo; I insisted,
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Drink up,&rdquo; said Ed, manipulating the Scotch bottle and the siphon of
- seltzer. &ldquo;This is one of the last highballs you'll ever have, unless you
- sneak around and take it on the sly. I don't know that I should have
- another one myself; it settles in this damned knee of mine if I get a
- little too much.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me when, where and how you knew Old Man Singleton,&rdquo; I demanded
- again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This knee of mine,&rdquo; went on Ed, disregarding me, &ldquo;is a hell of a
- handicap. We were talking about prohibition&mdash;what's prohibition going
- to do to me? Hey? It puts me out of a job in a barroom like this the first
- thing. And what else can I do? With this game leg, you can see me going on
- the stage as a Russian dancer, can't you? Or digging trenches to lay gas
- pipes in, or carrying a Hod? Huh? And I can't even get a job in a swell
- restaurant uptown; they don't want any gamelegged waiters sticking around,
- falling over the chairs. This was about the only kind of a joint and the
- only kind of a job I was fit for, this chop-house thing down here, and
- it's going to close in two weeks. What then? Be somebody's housemaid? I
- can't see it. I don't wish anybody any bad luck, but I hope the guy that
- put over this prohibition thing gets stiff in all his joints and lives
- forever.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I sympathized and waited, and finally he began. &ldquo;Old Man Singleton's fad,&rdquo;
- said Ed, &ldquo;as I re marked before, is money. And as you remarked, another of
- his fads is corned beef and cabbage&mdash;especially cabbage. He will eat
- corned beef with his cabbage, and like it; or he will eat pork with his
- cabbage, and like it; or he will eat cabbage without either; it is the
- cabbage he likes&mdash;or kale. In fact, you could reduce his two fads to
- one, and say what he likes is kale&mdash;kale in the slang sense of money,
- and kale that is cabbage. And all his life he has been stuffing himself
- with kale.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His fad is kale that he can see and feel and handle and show and carry
- about with him. Not merely money in the bank and stocks and bonds and
- property and real estate, but actual cash. He likes to carry it with him,
- and he does carry it with him. I guess he likes the feel of it in his
- billfolder, and the thought that he has got it on him&mdash;on him, the
- poor boy that came out of New England with the red knitted mittens on that
- everybody has heard so much about. I can understand the way he feels about
- it; with a folder full of thousand-dollar and ten-thousand-dollar bills he
- feels safe, somehow; feels like he'll never have to go back to that little
- New England town and saw cordwood and shovel snow again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He's got it on him now, that folder, and I'll bet you on it. That's what
- I meant when I said it wasn't safe for him to be trotting about this way
- after night. For if I know it, it stands to reason others know it, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What you want to know is, how I know it. Well, I was not always what I am
- now. Once I was quite a bird and wore dress suits and went to the
- Metropolitan Opera and listened to Caruso as he jumped his voice from peak
- to peak. Yes, sir, I know every darned acoustic in that place! They
- weren't my dress suits that I wore, but they fit me. Once I moved in the
- circles of the idle rich, though they didn't know it, and helped 'em spend
- the unearned increment they wrung from the toil of the downtrodden
- laboring man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Once, to come down to brass tacks, I was a butler's companion. It is an
- office you won't find listed in the social directory, but it existed, for
- me at least. The butler in the case was a good friend of mine by the name
- of Larry Hodgkins, and being part Irish, he was an ideal English butler.
- Larry and his mother were in the employ of the Hergsheimers, a wealthy
- Jewish family&mdash;you know who they are if you read the financial pages
- or the Sunday supplements. Mrs. Hodgkins was the housekeeper and Larry was
- the butler, and when the Hergsheimers were traveling Larry and his mother
- stayed in the New York house as caretakers and kept things shipshape. And
- let me give you a tip, by the way: if you ever take a notion to quit the
- writing game and go into domestic service, plant yourself with a rich
- Hebrew family. They want things done right, but they are the most liberal
- people on earth, especially to Gentile servants.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This Hergsheimer was Jacob Hergsheimer, and he was in right socially in
- New York, as well as financially; he had put himself across into the big
- time socially because, if you ask me, he belonged there; all the
- Hergsheimers didn't get across, but this one did. His New York house is
- uptown, between the sixties and the eighties, east of the Park, and he
- wants it kept so he can drop into it with his family and a flock of
- servants at any hour of the day or night, from any part of the earth,
- without a minute's notice, and give a dinner party at once, if he feels
- like it, and he frequently feels like it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was Mrs. Hodgkins's and Larry's job to keep the fire from going out in
- the boilers, so to speak, and a head of steam on, so that the domestic
- ship could sail in any direction on receipt of orders by wire, wireless or
- telephone. They were permanent there, but Jake Hergsheimer and his family,
- as far as I could make out, never got more than an average of about three
- months' use a year out of that mansion.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This time I am speaking of was nearly ten years ago. I was a waiter in an
- uptown restaurant, and both my legs were good then; Larry and I were old
- pals. The Jake Hergsheimers were sailing around the world in a yacht, and
- would be at it for about a year, as far as Larry knew, and he asked me up
- to live with him. I accepted; and believe me, the eight months I put in as
- Jake Hergsheimer's guest were <i>some</i> eight months. Not that Jake knew
- about it; but if he had known it, he wouldn't have cared. This Jake was a
- real human being.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And his clothes fit me; just as if I had been measured for them. He had
- what you might call an automatic tailor, Jake did. Every six weeks, rain
- or shine, that tailor delivered a new suit of clothes to the Hergsheimer
- house, and he sent in his bill once a year, so Larry the butler told me.
- Some people go away and forget to stop the milk; and when Jake sailed for
- the other side of the world he forgot to tell anybody to stop the tailor.
- Larry didn't feel as if it were any part of his duty to stop him; for
- Larry liked that tailor. He made Larry's clothes, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I didn't see where it was up to me to protest. As I said, Jake's
- garments might have been made for me. In fact, a great many of them <i>were</i>
- made for me. There were at least fifteen suits of clothes that had never
- been worn in that house, made to my measure and Jake's, when I became
- butler's companion in the establishment, and they kept right on coming.
- Also, there was a standing order for orchestra seats at the Metropolitan.
- Jake had a box every second Thursday, or something like that, but when he
- really wanted to hear the music and see the show he usually sat in the
- orchestra. Not only did his business suits fit me, but his dress clothes
- fit me, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I used to go often, with a lady's maid that had the same access to
- clothing as I did. She was part of a caretaking staff also. Being a
- writing person, you have, of course, only viewed New York's society and
- near-society from the outside, and no doubt you have been intimidated by
- the haughty manners of the servants. Well, when you get close to swells
- and really know them personally, you will find they are human, too.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A butler on duty is a swelled-up proposition, because he has to be that
- way. But take him as you find him among his peers, and he quits acting
- like the Duke of Westminster Abbey, and is real sociable. This Larry
- person, for instance, could distend himself like a poisoned pup and make a
- timid millionaire feel like the sleeves of his undershirt must be showing
- below his cuffs; but in our little select circle Larry was the life of the
- party.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Being, as I said before, an outsider, you likely don't realize how many
- of those big swell millionaires' cribs uptown are in the hands of
- caretakers like Larry and his mother and me the best part of the year.
- Well, they are; and there's a social life goes on in them that don't ever
- get into the papers. The parties we had that year in Jake's house would
- have done Jake himself good, if Jake could have got an invitation to them.
- But Jake was absent, though his cellar and his grocers were at our
- service; and he never questioned a bill, Larry said. There were twelve or
- fifteen hand-picked servants in our little social circle that year, and
- before I left there I could begin to understand how these débutantes feel
- at the end of the season&mdash;sort of tired and bored and willing to
- relax and go in for work and rest and athletics for a change.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had only been butler's companion for a few weeks when Old Man Singleton
- dropped in one evening&mdash;yes, sir, Old Lemuel Singleton himself. He
- came to see the butler's mother, Mrs. Hodgkins. He had known her a good
- many years before, when he was wearing those red mittens and sawing wood
- up in that New England town and she was somebody's Irish cook. And he had
- run across her again, after he became a millionaire, down here in New York
- City. He was tickled to see her, and he didn't care a darn if she was Jake
- Hergsheimer's housekeeper. She could cook cabbage and kale better than any
- one else in the world, and he used to come and sit with her, and talk
- about that little old town up there, and indulge in his favorite
- dissipation.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old Man Singleton has had what you call the social entrée in New York for
- a good many years; for so long that some of his children, and all his
- grandchildren, were born with it. But he never took it very seriously
- himself. He has been an in-and-outer, you might say. If he saw Mrs.
- Hodgkins around Jake's house, he would call her Mary and ask her how folks
- were up home in front of Jake and his wife and a whole bunch of guests,
- just as soon as not.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And his sons and his daughters and his grandchildren never could get him
- out of those ways; he always was bull-headed about doing what he pleased,
- so Mrs. Hodgkins told me, and he always will be. And the old lady liked to
- see him and chin with him and cook for him; and believe me, she was some
- cook when she set herself to it. Not merely kale, but everything. She
- didn't cook for the Hergsheimers&mdash;they had a chef for that&mdash;but
- they missed it by not having her. Victuals was old Mary's middle name, and
- she could rustle up some of the best grub you ever threw your lip over.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At first, Old Man Singleton and Mrs. Hodgkins didn't mix much with us
- younger folks when we pulled a party. It wasn't that we were too
- aristocratic for them, for off duty, as I said before, butlers and other
- swells can be as easy and jolly as common people. But they seemed too
- antiquated, if you get me; they were living too much in the past.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then, one night, I discovered what Old Man Singleton's fad was&mdash;kale.
- Money. Big money. Big money on his person. It was this way: Larry and I
- wanted to go downtown and have a little fun, but neither of us had any
- cash in hand. Larry had a check for one hundred and fifty dollars which
- Jake Hergsheimer had sent him, but all the tradesmen we knew were closed
- at that hour, and there wasn't any way to cash it, unless Old Man
- Singleton could.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mr. Singleton,' says Larry to the old man, who was sitting down to a
- mess of pork and kale with Mrs. Hodgkins, 'maybe you can cash this for
- me.' And he handed him the check.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The old man stopped eating and put his glasses on and pulled a billfolder
- out of his pocket, with a kind of pleased smile on his face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Let me see,' he says, taking out the bills, and running them over with
- his fingers; 'let me see.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I nearly dropped dead. There wasn't a bill in there of lower denomination
- than one thousand dollars; and most of them were ten-thousand-dol-lar
- bills.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No, Larry,' says the old man, 'I'm afraid I can't, afraid I can't&mdash;haven't
- got the change.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And while we stood there and looked, he smoothed and patted those bills,
- and folded and refolded them, and then put them back into his pocket, and
- patted the pocket.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mary,' he says to the old woman with a grin, 'that's quite a lot of
- money for little Lem Singleton to be carrying around in his pocket, isn't
- it?' &ldquo;'It is that, Lemuel,' said the old lady, 'and I should think you'd
- be afraid of leaving it out of the bank.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well, Mary,' says the old man, 'I kind o' like to have it around me all
- the time&mdash;uh&mdash;huh! a little bit where I can put my hands on it,
- all the time. I used to carry gold; but I gave that up; it's too heavy,
- for what it's worth. But I like it, Mary; I used to look at that gold and
- say to myself, &ldquo;Well, there's one thing you got, Lem Singleton, they never
- thought you'd get when you left home! And they aren't going to take it
- away from you, either!&rdquo; It was a long time before I could make paper seem
- as real to me as gold. But it does now.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And what does the old bird do but take it out of his pocket again and
- crinkle it through his fingers and smooth it out again and pet it and do
- everything but kiss it. Larry and I stood looking at him with our eyes
- sticking out, and he looked at us and laughed. It came to me all of a
- sudden that he liked to come where we servants were because he could pull
- that kind of thing in front of us, but that he was sort of lost among the
- swell-society bunch because he didn't dare pull it there and didn't feel
- so rich among them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'My God, Larry,' I said, when we were outside the house, 'did you notice
- how much kale the old man had there?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Uh-huh,' said Larry. 'Mother always cooks a lot for him.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Wake up, Stupid,' I said. 'I don't mean cabbage. I mean money. There
- must have been nearly two hundred thousand dollars in that roll!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'He always has around one hundred thousand dollars on him, at least,'
- says Larry. 'And I've seen him flash as high as a quarter of a million.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well,' I says, 'something ought to be done about it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What do you mean, Ed?' says he.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Oh, nothing,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We walked over to get the L train downtown, saying nothing, and then
- finally Larry remarked: &ldquo;'Electricity is a great thing, Ed.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I never said it wasn't,' says I.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'It's a great thing,' says Larry, 'but when you sit on it, sit on it
- right. For instance, I'd a darned sight rather sit in one of these
- electric trains than in that electric chair up at Sing Sing.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Who said anything about an electric chair?' I asked him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Nobody said anything,' says Larry, 'but you're thinking so darned loud I
- can get you.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Piffle, peanuts and petrification,' I said. 'Take care of your own
- thoughts, and I'll skim the fat off of mine myself.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, as I said, after that we got better acquainted, the old man and I.
- I paid more attention to him. He interested me more. I've always been
- interested in science of all kinds, and the year I spent in Jake
- Hergsheimer's house I cut the leaves of a lot of books in his library and
- gave them the once over. I was always interested in psychology, even
- before the word got to be a headliner in the Sunday supplements, and I
- took a good deal of pleasure that winter trying to get inside of Old Man
- Singleton's mind. I must say, I never got very far in, at that. My general
- conclusion at the end is what it was at the beginning&mdash;his fad is
- kale.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And he loved to show it, you could see that. Not that he pulled it every
- time he happened to be at one of our parties. Often he would drop in that
- winter from some swell social event at one of the big houses uptown, where
- he had been a guest, and eat some of old Mary's chow, and never intimate
- by word or look that he had all that kale on him. And then again he'd come
- among us, diked out in the soup and fish, and flash the roll, for no other
- reason that I know except he enjoyed seeing us get the blind staggers,
- which we always did. And then he'd fuss with it and pet it and go into a
- dream over it, and wake up again and grin and talk about life with old
- Mary. And they agreed about life; you never heard two more moral persons
- exchange views. It was sometimes as good as a Sunday-school to listen to
- them for half an hour.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One night, when they had been gassing for a while, they sort of got my
- goat, and I said to him:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Mr. Singleton, does it ever strike you as a little peculiar that you
- should have so much money and so many other people, such as myself, none
- at all?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No, Ed,' he says. 'No, it doesn't. That's the Lord's way, Ed! Money is
- given as a sacred trust by the Lord to them that are best fitted to have
- and to hold.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Meaning,' I asked him, 'that if you were ever to let loose of any of it,
- it might work harm in the world?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He chewed over that for quite a while, as if he saw something personal in
- it, and he gave me a ten-dollar bill for a Christmas present. He isn't as
- stingy as some people say he is; he just looks so stingy that if he was
- the most liberal man on earth he would get the reputation of being stingy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The lady's maid that I used to go to the opera with quit me a little
- while after Christmas. She and I were walking around the promenade between
- the acts one night at the Metropolitan and Larry was with us, when a
- fellow stopped Larry and spoke to him. I could see the guy looking at the
- girl and me as he and Larry talked. Later, Larry told me that it was one
- of Jake Hergsheimer's friends, and he had been a little bit surprised to
- see Larry at the opera all diked out, and he had wanted to know who the
- girl was.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, anyhow, she never went to the opera with me after that; but a few
- weeks later I saw her at a cabaret with Jake's friend. It was a grief to
- me; but I got into some real trouble, or let it get into me, about the
- same time, and that helped take the sting off. I had once been married&mdash;but
- there's no use going into all that. Anyhow, when the marriage kind o' wore
- off, my own folks took my wife's side of the case and she went to live
- with them. My old dad was sick, and they needed money, and my wife wrote
- to me that she was willing to let bygones be bygones and accept some money
- from me, and that my parents felt the same way, and there was a kid, too,
- that my folks were bringing up.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, I was desperate for some way to get hold of some cash and send to
- them. In the end, I took one of Jake Hergsheimer's silver vases and hocked
- it and sent the money, and got it out of hock two or three months later;
- but in the meantime there was a spell when I was so hard pressed it looked
- to me like I would actually have to do something dishonest to get that
- money.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One night, before Jake Hergsheimer came to my rescue and lent me that
- silver vase, if you want to call it that, I was sitting alone in the house
- thinking what a failure in life I was, and how rotten it was to have a
- wife and kid and parents all set against me, and drinking some of Jake's
- good booze, and getting more and more low in my mind, when there came a
- ring at the front doorbell. The butler was out, and old Mary was asleep
- way up in the top of the house, at the back, and wouldn't hear.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I'll bet,' I said to myself, 'that's Old Man Singleton nosing around for
- his cabbage.' And I made up my mind I wouldn't let him in&mdash;he could
- ring till he froze to death on the front steps, and I wouldn't. It was a
- blustery, snowy January night, with new snow over the old ice underneath,
- and I says to myself, 'It's a wonder the old coot don't slip down and bust
- some of those big New England bones of his. And I wouldn't care much if he
- did.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But he kept on ringing, and finally I thought I'd better go and let him
- in. I didn't have any ulterior notions when I went up the stairs from the
- servants' dining room and made for the front door. But the minute I
- clapped eyes on him I thought of all that kale in his pocket.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I opened the front door, but outside of that was an iron grille. It had a
- number of fastenings, but the final one was a short, heavy iron bar that
- lay in two sockets, one on each side of the opening.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I lifted the bar and swung the grille open.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Ha! Hum!' said he, and sneezed. 'It's you, Ed, is it?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And, snuffing and sneezing, he passed in front of me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And as he passed by me that bar said something to my hand. And the hand
- raised up. It wasn't any of my doings, it was all the hand and the bar. It
- raised up, that bar did, right behind the old man's head. He stopped just
- outside the front door and flapped his big bony feet on a rug that was
- there, to get the snow off his shoes, and while he flapped and sneezed
- that bar was right over the old man's brain-box.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well,' I said to myself, 'here is your chance to be an honest man and a
- prosperous man, reunited with your wife and your kid and your folks at
- home, and not have to borrow anything from Jake Hergsheimer's collection&mdash;just
- one little tap on the old man's head, and down he goes, and he's got
- anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred and fifty thousand
- dollars in his clothes.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' said myself to me, 'one little tap, and maybe you kill him. What
- then? The electric chair, huh?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Hell!' I said to myself. 'Take a chance! The old man has so much money
- that what he has in his pocket means nothing to him one way or another.
- Larry's gone till morning, and the old woman won't wake for a long time.
- It means a little bit of a headache for Old Lemuel here, and it means your
- chance to lead an honest life hereafter and be a useful citizen and take
- care of those you have been neglecting.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' said myself to me, 'it's more moral to do it, and make your life
- over, but you never have been one for morality in the past. Besides, you'd
- kill him.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I might have killed him, boss. I wasn't sure of it then, but I've
- been sure of it since then. I was that strung up that I would have hit too
- hard.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet, I might <i>not</i> have done so! I might have hit him just
- enough to put him out and make my get-away, and I might have led an honest
- life since then.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But at the moment I couldn't do it. I saw, all of a sudden, something
- funny. I saw the old man stamping his feet and getting the snow off, and I
- thought of him as a dead man, and I says to myself: 'How damned funny for
- a dead man to stamp the snow off his feet!' And I laughed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Heh? Heh? What did you say, Ed?' says the old man, and turns around.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I dropped the iron bar to my side, and that dead man came up out of the
- grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Nothing, Mr. Singleton,' I said. 'I was just going to say, go on in, and
- I'll get a brush and clean the snow off of you.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I said I saved his life from a man one time. Well, I was the man I saved
- his life from.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He went on in, and I barred the grille and locked the door, and we went
- on down to the dining room. I was shaking, and still I wasn't easy in my
- mind. I told him there wasn't anybody home but me, and he said he'd take a
- drop of Jake's brandy. And while I was opening a bottle of it for him,
- what does he do but pull out that billfolder.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'For God's sake, Mr. Singleton,' I said, turning weak and sitting down in
- a chair all of a sudden, 'put that money up.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He sat there and sipped his brandy and talked, but I didn't hear what he
- was saying. I just looked at him, and kept saying to myself, should I have
- done it? Or should I have let him go by?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Boss, that was nearly ten years ago, and I've been asking myself that
- question from time to time ever since. Should I have done it? Was it moral
- to refuse that chance to make my life over again? You know me, kid. You
- know some of me, at least. You know I don't hold much by morals. If I was
- to tell you how I got that bullet under my kneecap, you'd know me better
- than <i>you</i> do. If I had hit him just right and made my get-away, I
- would have led a different life.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And I wouldn't now be 'waiting for my death sentence. For that's
- practically what this prohibition thing means to me. I can't work at
- anything but this. And this is through with. And I'm through with. I'm a
- bum from now on. There's no use kidding myself; I'm a bum.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet, often, I'm glad I didn't do it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Ed brooded in silence for a while.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I said, &ldquo;It's strange he didn't know you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's been ten years,&rdquo; said Ed, &ldquo;and you saw that the old man's got to the
- doddering stage. He likely wouldn't know his own children if he didn't see
- them every day or two.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that the old man feels he is ending his days in a
- very satisfactory manner&mdash;the national prohibition thing triumphant,
- and all that.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;How do you mean?&rdquo; asked Ed.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you know?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Why, Old Man Singleton, it is said, helped to
- finance the fight, and used his money and his influence on other big money
- all over the country in getting next to doubtful politicians and putting
- the thing through the state legislatures. I don't mean there was anything
- crooked about it anywhere, but he was one of the bunch that represented
- organized power, and put the stunt across while the liquor interests were
- still saying national prohibition could never come.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The hell he did!&rdquo; said Ed. &ldquo;I didn't know he was mixed up with it. I
- never saw him take a drink, now that I remember, except the brandy on the
- night I saved his life.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old Man Singleton,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;is credited with having had more to do with
- it than any other one person, by those who are on the inside.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The old coot!&rdquo; said Ed. And then added wryly: &ldquo;I hope he gets as stiff in
- his knee joint as I am and lives forever! He's made a bum of me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was three or four weeks after my talk with Ed that I read in the papers
- of a peculiar accident of which Old Man Singleton had been the victim. A
- head of cabbage, he said, had fallen out of a tree and hit him on his own
- head one evening as he was walking alone in Central Park. He had been
- dazed by the blow for a moment; and when he regained his feet a
- considerable sum of money which he had been carrying was gone. He was sure
- that he had been struck by a head of cabbage, for a head of cabbage lay on
- the pathway near him when he was helped to his feet. He did not pretend to
- be able to say how a head of cabbage could have gotten into one of the
- park trees.
- </p>
- <p>
- The police discredited his story, pointing out that likely the old man,
- who was near-sighted, had blundered against a tree in the dusk and struck
- his head. The head of cabbage, they told the reporters, could have had
- nothing to do with it; it could not have come into contact with his head
- at all, unless, indeed, some one had put it into a sack and swung it on
- him like a bludgeon; and this, the police said, was too absurd to be
- considered. For why should a crook use a head of cabbage, when the same
- results might have been attained with the more usual blackjack, stick or
- fist?
- </p>
- <p>
- Old Man Singleton was not badly hurt; and as regarded the loss of the
- money, he never said, nor did his family ever say, just how large the sum
- was. Mr. Singleton had the vague impression that after the cabbage fell
- out of the tree and hit him he had been helped to his feet by a man who
- limped and who said to him: &ldquo;Kale is given to them that can best use it,
- to have and to hold.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not accuse this person, who disappeared before he was thoroughly
- himself again, of having found the money which had evidently dropped from
- his pocket when the cabbage fell from the tree and hit him, but he was
- suspicious, and he thought the police were taking the matter too lightly;
- he criticized the police in an interview given to the papers. The police
- pointed out the irrelevance of the alleged words of the alleged person who
- limped, and intimated that Mr. Singleton was irrational and should be kept
- at home evenings; as far as they were concerned, the incident was closed.
- </p>
- <p>
- But I got another slant at it, as Ed might have said. Last winter I was
- talking at my club with a friend just back from Cuba, where the rum is red
- and joy is unconfined.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I met a friend of yours,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;by the name of Ed down there, who is
- running a barroom and seems to be quite a sport in his way. Sent his
- regards to you. Must have made it pay&mdash;seems to have all kinds of
- money. Named his barroom 'The Second Thought.' Asked him why. He said
- nobody knew but himself, and he was keeping it a secret&mdash;though you
- might guess. Wants you to come down. Sent you a message. Let's see: what
- was it? Oh, yes! Cryptic! Very cryptic! Wrote it down&mdash;here it is: '<i>Kale!
- Kale! The gang's all here</i>.' Make anything out of it? I can't.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I could, though I didn't tell him what. But I shall not visit Ed in Cuba;
- I consider him an immoral person.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0008" id="link2H_4_0008"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VII&mdash;Bubbles
- </h2>
- <h3>
- I
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>ommy Hawkins was
- not so sober that you could tell it on him. Certainly his friend Jack
- Dobson, calling on him one dreary winter evening&mdash;an evening of that
- winter before John Barleycorn cried maudlin tears into his glass and
- kissed America good-by&mdash;would never have guessed it from Tommy's
- occupation. Presenting himself at Tommy's door and finding it unlocked,
- Jack had gone on in. A languid splashing guided him to the bathroom. In
- the tub sat Tommy with the water up to his shoulders, blowing soap
- bubbles.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You darned old fool!&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;Aren't you ever going to grow up,
- Tommy?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy placidly. &ldquo;What for?&rdquo; Sitting on a chair close by the
- bathtub was a shallow silver dish with a cake of soap and some
- reddish-colored suds in it. Tommy had bought the dish to give some one for
- a wedding present, and then had forgotten to send it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What makes the suds red?&rdquo; asked Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I poured a lot of that nose-and-throat spray stuff into it,&rdquo; explained
- Tommy. &ldquo;It makes them prettier. Look!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As a pipe he was using a piece of hollow brass curtain rod six or eight
- inches long and of about the diameter of a fat lead pencil. He soused this
- thing in the reddish suds and manufactured a bubble with elaborate care.
- With a graceful gesture of his wet arm he gently waved the rod until the
- bubble detached itself. It floated in the air for a moment, and the thin,
- reddish integument caught the light from the electric globe and gave forth
- a brief answering flash as of fire. Then the bubble suddenly and
- whimsically dashed itself against the wall and was no more, leaving a
- faint, damp, reddish trace upon the white plaster.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Air current caught it,&rdquo; elucidated Tommy with the air of a circus
- proprietor showing off pet elephants. In his most facetious moments Tommy
- was wont to hide his childish soul beneath an exterior of serious dignity.
- &ldquo;This old dump is full of air currents. They come in round the windows,
- come in round the doors, come right in through the walls. Damned annoying,
- too, for a scientist making experiments with bubbles&mdash;starts a bubble
- and never knows which way it's going to jump. I'm gonna complain to the
- management of this hotel.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're going to come out of that bathtub and get into your duds,&rdquo; said
- Jack. &ldquo;That water's getting cool now, and between cold water and air
- currents you'll have pneumonia the first thing you know&mdash;you poor
- silly fish, you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Speaking of fish,&rdquo; said Tommy elliptically, &ldquo;there's a bottle of
- cocktails on the mantel in the room there. Forgot it for a moment. Don't
- want to be inhospitable, but don't drink all of it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's all gone,&rdquo; said Dobson a moment later.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So?&rdquo; said Tommy in surprise. &ldquo;That's the way with cocktails. Here one
- minute and gone the next&mdash;like bubbles. Bubbles! Life's like that,
- Jack!&rdquo; He made another bubble with great solemnity, watched it float and
- dart and burst. &ldquo;Pouf!&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Bubbles! Bubbles! Life's like that!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're an original philosopher, you are,&rdquo; said Jack, seizing him by the
- shoulders. &ldquo;You're about as original as a valentine. Douse yourself with
- cold water and rub yourself down and dress. Come out of it, kid, or you'll
- be sick.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If I get sick,&rdquo; said Tommy, obeying, nevertheless, &ldquo;I won't have to go to
- work to-morrow.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why aren't you working to-day?&rdquo; asked his friend, working on him with a
- coarse towel.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Day off,&rdquo; said Tommy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Day off!&rdquo; rejoined Dobson. &ldquo;Since when has the <i>Morning Despatch</i>
- been giving two days off a week to its reporters? You had your day off
- Tuesday, and this is Thursday.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is it?&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;I always get Tuesday and Thursday mixed. Both begin
- with a T. Hey, Jack, how's that? Both begin with a T! End with a tea
- party! Good line, hey, Jack? Tuesday and Thursday both begin with a T and
- end with a tea party. I'm gonna write a play round that, Jack. Broadway
- success! Letters a foot high! Royalties for both of us! I won't forget
- you, Jack! You suggested the idea for the plot, Jack. Drag you out in
- front of the curtain with me when I make my speech. 'Author! Author!'
- yells the crowd. 'Ladies and gentlemen,' says I, 'here is the obscure and
- humble person who set in motion the train of thought that led to my
- writing this masterpiece. Such as he is, I introduce him to you.'&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shut up!&rdquo; said Jack, and continued to lacerate Tommy's hide with the
- rough towel. &ldquo;Hold still! Now go and get into your clothes.&rdquo; And as Tommy
- began to dress he regarded that person darkly. &ldquo;You're a brilliant wag,
- you are! It's a shame the way the copy readers down on the <i>Despatch</i>
- keep your best things out of print, you splattering supermudhen of
- journalism, you! You'll wake up some morning without any more job than a
- kaiser.&rdquo; And as Tommy threaded himself into the mystic maze of his
- garments Mr. Dobson continued to look at him and mutter disgustedly,
- &ldquo;Bubbles!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Not that he was afraid that Tommy would actually lose his job. If it had
- been possible for Tommy to lose his job that must have happened years
- before. But Tommy wrote a certain joyous type of story better than any
- other person in New York, and his facetiousness got him out of as many
- scrapes as it got him into. He was thirty years old. At ninety he would
- still be experimenting with the visible world in a spirit of random
- eagerness, joshing everything in it, including himself. He looked exactly
- like the young gentleman pictured in a widely disseminated collar
- advertisement. He enjoyed looking that way, and occasionally he enjoyed
- talking as if he were exactly that kind of person. He loved to turn his
- ironic levity against the character he seemed to be, much as the mad wags
- who grace the column of F. P. A. delight in getting their sayings across
- accompanied by a gentle satirical fillip at all mad waggery.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Speaking of bubbles,&rdquo; he suddenly chuckled as he carefully adjusted his
- tie in the collar that looked exactly like the one in the advertisement,
- &ldquo;there's an old party in the next room that takes 'em more seriously than
- you do, Jack.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old downtown hotel in which Tommy lived had once been a known and
- noted hostelry, and persons from Plumville, Pennsylvania, Griffin,
- Georgia, and Galva, Illinois, still stopped there when in New York,
- because their fathers and mothers had stopped there on their wedding
- journeys perhaps. It was not such a very long way from the Eden Musee,
- when there was an Eden Musee. Tommy's room had once formed part of a
- suite. The bathroom which adjoined it had belonged jointly to another room
- in the suite. But now these two rooms were always let separately. Still,
- however, the bathroom was a joint affair. When Tommy wished to bathe he
- must first insure privacy by hooking on the inside the door that led into
- the bathroom from the chamber beyond.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old party in the next room?&rdquo; questioned Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh-huh,&rdquo; said Tommy, who had benefited by his cold sluicing and his
- rubdown. &ldquo;I gave him a few bubbles for his very own&mdash;through the
- keyhole into his room, you know. Poked that brass rod through and blew the
- bubble in his room. Detached it with a little jerk and let it float.
- Seemed more sociable, you know, to let him in on the fun. Never be stingy
- with your pleasures, Jack. Shows a mean spirit&mdash;a mean soul. Why not
- cheer the old party up with soap bubbles? Cost little, bubbles do. More
- than likely he's a stranger in New York. Unfriendly city, he thinks. Big
- city. Nobody thinks of him. Nobody cares for him. Away from home. Winter
- day. Melancholy. Well, I say, give him a bubble now and then. Shows some
- one is thinking of him. Shows the world isn't so thoughtless and gloomy
- after all. Neighborly sort of thing to do, Jack. Makes him think of his
- youth&mdash;home&mdash;mother's knee&mdash;all that kind of thing, Jack.
- Cheers him up. Sat in the tub there and got to thinking of him. Almost
- cried, Jack, when I thought how lonely the old man must be&mdash;got one
- of these old man's voices. Whiskers. Whiskers deduced from the voice. So I
- climbed out of the tub every ten or fifteen minutes all afternoon and gave
- the old man a bubble. Rain outside&mdash;fog, sleet. Dark indoors. Old man
- sits and thinks nobody loves him. Along comes a bubble. Old man gets
- happy. Laughs. Remembers his infancy. Skies clear. You think I'm a selfish
- person, Jack? I'm not. I'm a Samaritan. Where will we eat?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are a darned fool,&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;You say he took them seriously? What
- do you mean? Did he like 'em?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Couldn't quite make out,&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;But they moved him. Gasped every
- now and then. Think he prayed. Emotion, Jack. Probably made him think of
- boyhood's happy days down on the farm. Heard him talking to himself. Think
- he cried. Went to bed anyhow with his clothes on and pulled the covers
- over his head. Looked through the keyhole and saw that. Gray whiskers
- sticking up, and that's all. Deduced the whiskers from the voice, Jack.
- Let's give the old party a couple more bubbles and then go eat. It's been
- an hour since he's had one. Thinks I'm forgetting him, no doubt.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So they gave the old man a couple of bubbles, poking the brass rod through
- the keyhole of the door.
- </p>
- <p>
- The result was startling and unexpected. First there came a gasp from the
- other room, a sort of whistling release of the breath, and an instant
- later a high, whining, nasal voice.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God! You meant it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The two young men started back and looked at each other in wonderment.
- There was such a quivering agony, such an utter groveling terror in this
- voice from the room beyond that they were daunted.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What's eating him?&rdquo; asked Dobson, instinctively dropping his tones to a
- whisper.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't know,&rdquo; said Tommy, temporarily subdued. &ldquo;Sounds like that last
- one shell-shocked him when it exploded, doesn't it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But Tommy was subdued only for a moment.
- </p>
- <p>
- As they went out into the corridor he giggled and remarked, &ldquo;Told you he
- took 'em seriously, Jack.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- II
- </h3>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Seriously&rdquo; was a word scarcely strong enough for the way in which the old
- party in the room beyond had taken it, though he had not, in fact, seen
- the bubble. He had only seen a puff of smoke coming apparently from
- nowhere, originating in the air itself, as it seemed to him, manifesting
- itself, materializing itself out of nothing, and floating in front of the
- one eye which was peeping fearfully out of the huddled bedclothing which
- he had drawn over himself. He had lain quaking on the bed, waiting for
- this puff of smoke for an hour or more, hoping against hope that it would
- not come, praying and muttering, knotting his bony hands in the whiskers
- that Tommy had seen sticking up from the coverings, twisting convulsively.
- </p>
- <p>
- Tommy had whimsically filled the bubble, as he blew it, with smoke from
- his cigarette. He had in like manner, throughout the afternoon and
- early-evening, filled all the bubbles that he had given the old man with
- cigarette or pipe smoke. The old party had not been bowled over by
- anything in Tommy's tobacco. He had not noticed that the smoke was tobacco
- smoke, for he had been smoking a pipe himself the greater part of the day,
- and had not aired out the room. It was neither bubbles nor tobacco that
- had flicked a raw spot on his soul. It was smoke.
- </p>
- <h3>
- III
- </h3>
- <p>
- Bubbles! They seemed to be in Tommy's brain. Perhaps it was the
- association of ideas that made him think of champagne. At any rate he
- declared that he must have some, and vetoed his friend's suggestion that
- they dine&mdash;as they frequently did&mdash;at one of the little Italian
- table d'hote places in Greenwich Village.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're a bubble and I'm a bubble and the world is a bubble,&rdquo; Tommy was
- saying a little later as he watched the gas stirring in his golden drink.
- </p>
- <p>
- They had gone to the genial old Brevoort, which was&mdash;but why tell
- persons who missed the Brevoort in its mellower days what they missed, and
- why cause anguished yearnings in the bosoms of those who knew it well?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tommy,&rdquo; said his friend, &ldquo;don't, if you love me, hand out any more of
- your jejune poeticism or musical-comedy philosophy. I'll agree with you
- that the world is a bubble for the sake of argument, if you'll change the
- record. I want to eat, and nothing interferes with my pleasure in a meal
- so much as this line of pseudocerebration that you seem to have adopted
- lately.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bubbles seem trivial things, Jack,&rdquo; went on Tommy, altogether
- unperturbed. &ldquo;But I have a theory that there aren't any trivial things. I
- like to think of the world balancing itself on a trivial thing. Look at
- the Kaiser, for instance. A madman. Well, let's say there's been a blood
- clot in his brain for years&mdash;a little trivial thing the size of a pin
- point, Jack. It hooks up with the wrong brain cell; it gets into the wrong
- channel, and&mdash;pouf! The world goes to war. A thousand million people
- are affected by it&mdash;by that one little clot of blood no bigger than a
- pin point that gets into the wrong channel. An atom! A planet balanced on
- an atom! A star pivoting on a molecule!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Have some soup,&rdquo; said his friend.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Bubbles! Bubbles and butterflies!&rdquo; continued Tommy. &ldquo;Some day, Jack, I'm
- going to write a play in which a butterfly's wing brushes over an empire.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No, you're not,&rdquo; said Jack. &ldquo;You're just going to talk about it and think
- you're writing it and peddle the idea round to everybody you know, and
- then finally some wise guy is going to grab it off and really write it.
- You've been going to write a play ever since I knew you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, I am; I'm really going to write that play.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, Tommy,&rdquo; said Jack, looking round the chattering dining room, &ldquo;this
- is a hell of a place to do it in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Meaning, of course,&rdquo; said Tommy serenely, &ldquo;that it takes more than a
- butterfly to write a play about a butterfly.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You get me,&rdquo; said his friend. And then after a pause he went on with
- sincerity in his manner: &ldquo;You know I think you could write the play,
- Tommy. But unless you get to work on some of your ideas pretty soon, and
- buckle down to them in earnest, other people will continue to write your
- plays&mdash;and you will continue to josh them and yourself, and your
- friends will continue to think that you could write better plays if you
- would only do it. People aren't going to take you seriously, Tommy, till
- you begin to take yourself a little seriously. Why, you poor, futile,
- silly, misguided, dear old mutt, you! You don't even have sense enough&mdash;you
- don't have the moral continuity, if you follow me&mdash;to stay sore at a
- man that does you dirt! Now, do you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I don't know about that,&rdquo; said Tommy a little more seriously.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well now, do you?&rdquo; persisted his friend. &ldquo;I don't say it's good Christian
- doctrine not to forgive people. It isn't. But I've seen people put things
- across on you, Tommy, and seen you laugh it off and let 'em be friends
- with you again inside of six weeks. I couldn't do it, and nine-tenths of
- the fellows we know couldn't do it; and in the way you do it it shouldn't
- be done. You should at least remember, even if you do forgive; remember
- well enough not to get bit by the same dog again. With you, old kid, it's
- all a part of your being a butterfly and a bubble. It's no particular
- virtue in you. I wouldn't talk to you like a Dutch uncle if I didn't think
- you had it in you to make good. But you've got to be prodded.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's one fellow that did me dirt,&rdquo; said Tommy musingly, &ldquo;that I've
- never taken to my bosom again.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What did you do to him?&rdquo; asked his friend. &ldquo;Beat him to death with a
- butterfly's wing, Tommy, or blow him out of existence with a soap bubble?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I've never done anything to him,&rdquo; said Tommy soberly. &ldquo;And I don't think
- I ever would do anything to him. I just remember, that's all. If he ever
- gets his come-uppance, as they say in the rural districts, it won't be
- through any act of mine. Let life take revenge for me. I never will.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose you're right,&rdquo; said Dobson. &ldquo;But who was this guy? And what did
- he do to you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- IV
- </h3>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He was&mdash;and is&mdash;my uncle,&rdquo; said Tommy, &ldquo;and he did about
- everything to me. Listen! You think I do nothing but flitter, flutter,
- frivol and flivver! And you may be right, and maybe I never will do
- anything else. Maybe I never will be anything but a kid.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was young when I was born. No, that's not one of my silly lines, Jack.
- I mean it seriously. I was young when I was born. I was born with a jolly
- disposition. But this uncle of mine took it out of me. I'll say he did!
- The reason I'm such a kid now, Jack, is because I had to grow up when I
- was about five years old, and I stayed grown up until I was seventeen or
- eighteen. I never had a chance to be a boy. If I showed any desire to be
- it was knocked out of me on the spot. And if I live two hundred years, and
- stay nineteen years old all that time, Jack, I won't any more than make up
- for the childhood I missed&mdash;that was stolen from me. Frivol? I could
- frivol a thousand years and not dull my appetite. I want froth, Jack:
- froth and bubbles!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This old uncle of mine&mdash;he wasn't so old in years when I first knew
- him, but in his soul he was as old as the overseers who whipped the slaves
- that built Cheops' pyramid, and as sandy and as flinty&mdash;hated me as
- soon as he saw me. He hated me before he saw me. He would have hated me if
- he had never seen me, because I was young and happy and careless.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was that, when I went to live with him&mdash;young and happy and
- careless. I was five years old. He was my father's brother, Uncle Ezra
- was, and he beat my father out of money in his dirty, underhanded way. Oh,
- nothing illegal! At least, I suppose not. Uncle Ezra was too cautious to
- do anything that might be found out on him. There was nothing that my
- mother could prove, at any rate, and my father had been careless and had
- trusted him. When my father died my mother was ill. He gave us a home,
- Uncle Ezra did. She had to live somewhere; she had to have a roof over her
- head and attention of some sort. She had no near relations, and I had to
- be looked after.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So she and I went into his house to live. It was to be temporary. We were
- to move as soon as she got better. But she did not live long. I don't
- remember her definitely as she was before we went to live with Uncle Ezra.
- I can only see her as she lay on a bed in a dark room before she died. It
- was a large wooden bed, with wooden slats and a straw mattress. I can see
- myself sitting on a chair by the head of the bed and talking to her. My
- feet did not reach to the floor by any means; they only reached to the
- chair rungs. I can't remember what she said or what I said. All I remember
- of her is that she had very bright eyes and that her arms were thin. I
- remember her arms, but not her face, except the eyes. I suppose she used
- to reach her arms out to me. I think she must have been jolly at one time,
- too. There is a vague feeling, a remembrance, that before we went to Uncle
- Ezra's she was jolly, and that she and I laughed and played together in
- some place where there was red-clover bloom.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day when I was siting on the chair, the door opened and Uncle Ezra
- came in. There was some man with him that was, I suppose, a doctor. I can
- recall Uncle Ezra's false grin and the way he put his hand on my head&mdash;to
- impress the doctor, I suppose&mdash;and the way I pulled away from him.
- For I felt that he disliked me, and I feared and hated him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, Uncle Ezra gave us a home. I don't know how much you know about the
- rural districts, Jack. But when an Uncle Ezra in a country town gives some
- one a home he acquires merit. This was a little town in Pennsylvania that
- Pm talking about, and Uncle Ezra was a prominent citizen&mdash;deacon in
- the church and all that sort of thing. Truly rural drama stuff, Jack, but
- I can't help that&mdash;it's true. Uncle Ezra had a reputation for being
- stingy and mean. Giving us a home was a good card for him to play. My
- mother had a little money, and he stole that, too, when she died.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I suppose he stole it legally. I don't know. It wasn't much. No one had
- any particular interest in looking out for me, and nobody would want to
- start anything in opposition to Uncle Ezra in that town if it could be
- helped anyhow. He didn't have the whole village and the whole of the
- farming country round about sewed up, all by himself, but he was one of
- the little group that did. There's a gang like that in every country town,
- I imagine. He was one of four or five big ducks in that little puddle&mdash;lent
- money, took mortgages and all that kind of thing you read about. I don't
- know how much he is worth now, counting what he has been stealing all his
- life. But it can't be a staggering sum. He's too cowardly to plunge or
- take a long chance. He steals and saves and grinds in a little way. He is
- too mean and small and blind and limited in his intelligence to be a big,
- really successful crook, such as you will find in New York City.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When my mother died, of course, I stayed with Uncle Ezra. I suppose
- everybody said how good it was of him to keep me, and that it showed a
- soft and kindly spot in his nature after all, and that he couldn't be so
- hard as he had the name of being. But I don't see what else could have
- been done with me, unless he had taken me out and dropped me in the mill
- pond like a blind cat. Sometimes I used to wish he had done that.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It isn't hard to put a five-year-old kid in the wrong, so as to make it
- appear&mdash;even to the child himself&mdash;that he is bad and
- disobedient. Uncle Ezra began that way with me. I'm not going into
- details. This isn't a howl; it's merely an explanation. But he persecuted
- me in every way. He put me to work before I should have known what work
- was&mdash;work too hard for me. He deviled me and he beat me, he clothed
- me like a beggar and he fed me like a dog, he robbed me of childhood and
- of boyhood. I won't go over the whole thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I never had decent shoes, or a hat that wasn't a rag, and I never went to
- kid parties or anything, or even owned so much as an air rifle of my own.
- The only pair of skates I ever had, Jack, I made for myself out of two old
- files, with the help of the village blacksmith&mdash;and I got licked for
- that. Uncle Ezra said I had stolen the files and the straps. They belonged
- to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But there's one thing I remember with more of anger than any other. He
- used to make me kneel down and pray every night before I went to bed, in
- his presence; and sometimes he would pray with me. He was a deacon in the
- church. There are plenty of them on the square&mdash;likely most of them
- are. But this one was the kind you used to see in the old-fashioned
- melodramas. Truly rural stuff, Jack. He used to be quite a shark at prayer
- himself, Uncle Ezra did. I can remember how he looked when he prayed, with
- his eyes shut and his Adam's apple bobbing up and down and the sound
- whining through his nose.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The only person that was ever human to me was a woman I called Aunt
- Lizzie. I don't know really what relation she wras to me; a distant cousin
- of Uncle Ezra's, I think. She was half blind and she was deaf, and he
- bullied her and made her do all the housework. She was bent nearly double
- with drudgery. He had given her a home, too. She didn't dare be very good
- to me. He might find it out, and then we both would catch it. She baked me
- some apple dumplings once on one of my birthdays. I was nine years old.
- And he said she had stolen the apples and flour from him; that he had not
- ordered her to make any apple dumplings, and it was theft; and he made me
- pray for her, and made her pray for herself, and he prayed for both of us
- in family prayers every day for a week.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I was nearly eighteen when I ran away. I might have done it sooner, but I
- was small for my age, and I was cowed. I didn't dare to call my soul my
- own, and I had a reputation for being queer, too. For I used to grin and
- laugh at things no one else thought were funny&mdash;when Uncle Ezra
- wasn't round. I suppose people in that town thought it was odd that I
- could laugh at all. No one could understand how I had a laugh left in me.
- But when I was alone I used to laugh. I used to laugh at myself sometimes
- because I was so little and so queer. When I was seventeen I wasn't much
- bigger than a thirteen-year-old kid should be. I packed a lot of growing
- into the years between seventeen and twenty-one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When I ran away Aunt Lizzie gave me eighty-seven cents, all in nickels
- and pennies, and there were two or three of those old-fashioned two-cent
- pieces in it, too, that she had had for God knows how long. It was all she
- had. I don't suppose he ever paid her anything at all, and the wonder was
- she had that much. I told her that when I got out into the world and made
- good I would come and get her, but she shivered all over with fright at
- the idea of daring to leave. I have sent her things from time to time in
- the last ten years&mdash;money, and dresses I have bought for her, and
- little things I thought she would like. But I don't know whether he let
- her have them or not I never got any letter from her at all. I don't even
- know whether she can write, to tell the truth, and she wouldn't dare get
- one of the neighbors to write for her. But if I ever make any real money,
- Jack, I am going to go and get her, whether she dares to come away or not.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, when I left, the thing I wanted to do was go to school. Uncle Ezra
- hadn't given me time to go to school much. But I tramped to a town where
- there was a little fresh-water college that had its own prep school
- attached, and I did the whole seven years of prep school and college in
- five years. You see, I had a lot of bounce in me. The minute I got away
- from Uncle Ezra the whole world brightened up for me. The clouds rolled by
- and life looked like one grand long joke, and I turned into a kid. I
- romped through that prep school and that college, and made my own living
- while I was doing it, and laughed all the time and loved the world and
- everything in it, and it came as easy to me as water comes to a duck. I
- came on down here to New York and was lucky enough to get a chance as a
- reporter, and I've been romping ever since.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want to do anything but romp. Of course, I want to write some
- good stuff some day, but I want to keep romping while I write it, and I
- want it to be stuff that has a romp in it, too. You say I romp so much I'm
- never serious. Well, I do have some serious moments, too. I have a dream
- that keeps coming to me. I dream that I'm back in that little town, and
- that I'm Uncle Ezra's slave again, and that I can't get away.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Sometimes the dream takes the form of Uncle Ezra coming here to New York
- to get me, and I know that I've got to go back with him to that place, and
- I wake up sweating and crying like an eight-year-old kid. If he ever
- really came it would put a crimp into me, Jack.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You say I'm a butterfly. And I say, yes, Jack, thank God I am! I used to
- be a grubworm, and now I'm a butterfly, praise heaven!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, that's the guy I hold the grudge against, and that's why I'm fool
- enough to rush into every pleasure I can find. I don't know that I'll ever
- change. And as for the man, I don't ever want to see him. I don't know
- that I'd ever do anything to him if I did&mdash;beat him to death with a
- butterfly's wing, or blow him up with a soap bubble, as you suggested. Let
- him alone. He'll punish himself. He is punished by being what he is. I
- wouldn't put a breath into the scale one way or the other&mdash;not even a
- puff of cigarette smoke.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He blew a breath of cigarette smoke luxuriously out of his nose as he
- finished, and then he remarked, &ldquo;Let's go somewhere and dance.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nazimova is doing Ibsen uptown,&rdquo; suggested Jack, &ldquo;and I have a couple of
- tickets. Let's go and see Ibsen lb a little.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;Ibsen's got too much sense. I want something silly.
- Me for a cabaret, or some kind of a hop garden.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <h3>
- V
- </h3>
- <p>
- But sometimes in this ironical world it happens that we have already
- beaten a man to death with a butterfly's wing, slain him with a bubble,
- sent him whirling into the hereafter on a puff of smoke, even as we are
- saying that such a thing is foreign to our thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party in the room next to Tommy's at the hotel had arrived the day
- before, with an umbrella, a straw suitcase and a worried eye on either
- side his long, white, chalkish, pitted nose. He seemed chilly in spite of
- his large plum-colored overcoat, of a cut that has survived only in the
- rural districts. He wore a salient, assertive beard, that had once been
- sandy and was now almost white, but it was the only assertive thing about
- him. His manner was far from aggressive.
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour after he had been shown to his room he appeared at the desk again
- and inquired timidly of the clerk, &ldquo;There's a fire near here?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Little blaze in the next block. Doesn't amount to anything,&rdquo; said the
- clerk.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I heard the&mdash;the engines,&rdquo; said the guest apologetically.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Doesn't amount to anything,&rdquo; said the clerk again. And then, &ldquo;Nervous
- about fire?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party seemed startled.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who? Me? Why should I be nervous about fire? No! No! No!&rdquo; He beat a
- sudden retreat. &ldquo;I was just asking&mdash;just asking,&rdquo; he threw back over
- his shoulder.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Old duck's scared of fire and ashamed to own it,&rdquo; mused the clerk,
- watching him out of the lobby.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party went back to his room, and there one of the first things he
- saw was a copy of the Bible lying on the bureau. There is an organization
- which professes for its object the placing of a Bible in every hotel room
- in the land. The old party had his own Bible with him. As if reminded of
- it by the one on the bureau, he took it out of his suitcase and sat down
- and began to turn the leaves like a person familiar with the book&mdash;and
- like a person in need of comfort, as indeed he was.
- </p>
- <p>
- There was a text in Matthew that he sought&mdash;where was it? Somewhere
- in the first part of Matthew's gospel&mdash;ah, here it is: The twelfth
- chapter and the thirty-first verse:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men....&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- There is a terrible reservation in the same verse. He kept his eyes from
- it, and read the first part over and over, forming the syllables with his
- lips, but not speaking aloud.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;All manner of sin&mdash;all manner of sin&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;-&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then, as if no longer able to avoid it, he yielded his consciousness
- to the latter clause of the verse:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- What was blasphemy against the Holy Ghost? Could what he had done be
- construed as that? Probably if one lied to God in his prayers, that was
- blasphemy against the Holy Ghost&mdash;one form of it. And had he been
- lying to God these last two weeks when he had said over and over again in
- his prayers that it was all a mistake? It hadn't been all a mistake, but
- the worst part of it had been a mistake.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went out for his dinner that evening, but he was in again before ten
- o'clock. He could not have slept well. At two o'clock in the morning he
- appeared in front of the desk.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had heard fire engines again.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; said the night clerk, appraising him, as the day clerk had
- done, as a rube who had been seldom to the city and was nervous about
- fire, &ldquo;you don't need to be worried. If anything should happen near here
- we'd get all the guests out in a jiffy.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The old party returned to his room. He was up early the next morning and
- down to breakfast before the dining room was open.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not look as if he had had much rest. The morning hours he devoted
- to reading his Bible in his room. Perhaps he found comfort in it. At noon
- he seemed a bit more cheerful. He asked the clerk the way to the Eden
- Musee, and was surprised to learn that that place of amusement had been
- closed for a year or two. The clerk recommended a moving-picture house
- round the corner. But it had begun to rain and snow and sleet all
- together; the sky was dark and the wind was rising; the old party elected
- not to go out after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went back to his room once more, and his black fear and melancholy
- descended upon him again, and the old debate began to weave through his
- brain anew. For two weeks he had been fleeing from the debate and from
- himself. He had come to New York to get away from it, but it was no good.
- Just when he had made up his mind that God had forgiven him, and was
- experiencing a momentary respite, some new doubt would assail him and the
- agony would begin again.
- </p>
- <p>
- The old debate&mdash;he had burned the store, with the living quarters
- over it, to get the insurance money, after having removed a part of the
- insured goods, but he did not regard that as an overwhelming sin. It
- wasn't right, of course, in one way. And yet in another way it was merely
- sharp business practice, so he told himself. For a year before that, when
- one of his buildings had burned through accident, he had been forced to
- accept from the same insurance company less than was actually due him as a
- matter of equity. Therefore, to make money out of that company by a shrewd
- trick was in a way merely to get back his own again. It wasn't the sort of
- thing that a deacon in the church would care to have found out on him, of
- course. It was wrong in a sense. But it was the wrong that it had led to
- that worried him.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was the old woman's death that worried him. He hadn't meant to burn her
- to death, God knows! He hadn't known she was in the building.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had sent her on a week's visit to another town, to see a surprised
- cousin of his own, and it had been distinctly understood that she was not
- to return until Saturday. But some time on Friday evening she must have
- crept back home and gone to bed in her room. He had not known she was
- there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I didn't know! I didn't know!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- There were times when he gibbered the words to himself by the hour.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was at midnight that he had set fire to the place. The old woman was
- deaf. Even when the flames began to crackle she could not have heard them.
- She had had no more chance than a rat in a trap. The old fool! It was her
- own fault! Why had she not obeyed him? Why had she come creeping back,
- like a deaf old half-blind tabby cat, to die in the flames? It was her own
- fault! When he thought of the way she had returned to kill herself there
- were moments when he cursed and hated her.
- </p>
- <p>
- But had she killed herself? Back and forth swung the inner argument. At
- times he saw clearly enough that this incident joined on without a break
- to the texture of his whole miserable life; when he recognized that,
- though it might be an accident in a strictly literal sense that the old
- woman was dead, yet it was the sort of accident for which his previous
- existence had been a preparation. Even while he fiercely denied his guilt,
- or talked of it in a seizure of whining prayer that was essentially a
- lying denial, he knew that guilt there was.
- </p>
- <p>
- Would he be forgiven? There were comforting passages in the Bible. He
- switched on the rather insufficient electric light, which was all the old
- hotel provided, for the day was too dark to read without that help, and
- turned the pages of the New Testament through and through again.
- </p>
- <p>
- At three o'clock in the afternoon he was sitting on the edge of his bed,
- with the book open in front of him and his head bowed, almost dozing. His
- pipe, with which he had filled the room with the fumes of tobacco, had
- fallen to the floor. Perhaps it was weariness, but for a brief period his
- sharper sense of fear had been somewhat stilled again. Maybe it was going
- to be like this&mdash;a gradual easing off of the strain in answer to his
- prayers. He had asked God for an answer as to whether he should be
- forgiven, and God was answering in this way, so he told himself. God was
- going to let him get some sleep, and maybe when he woke everything would
- be all right again&mdash;bearable at least.
- </p>
- <p>
- So he mused, half asleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then all at once he sprang wide awake again, and his terror wakened
- with him. For suddenly in front of his half-shut eyes, coming from nowhere
- in particular, there passed a puff of smoke!
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it mean? He had asked God for an answer. He had been lulled for
- a moment almost into something like peace, and&mdash;now&mdash;this puff
- of smoke! Was it a sign? Was it God's answer?
- </p>
- <p>
- He sat up on the edge of the bed, rigid, in a cold, still agony of
- superstitious fright. He dared not move or turn his head. He was afraid
- that he would see&mdash;something&mdash;if he looked behind him. He was
- afraid that he would in another moment hear something&mdash;a voice!
- </p>
- <p>
- He closed his eyes. He prayed. He prayed aloud. His eyes once closed, he
- scarcely dared open them again. After seme minutes he began to tell
- himself that perhaps he had been mistaken; perhaps he had not seen smoke
- at all. Perhaps even if he had seen smoke it was due to some explicable
- cause, and not meant for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- He greatly dared. He opened his eyes. And drifting lazily above the white
- pillow at the head of the bed was another puff of smoke.
- </p>
- <p>
- He rocked back and forth upon the bed, with his arms up as if to shield
- his head from a physical blow, and then he passed in a moment from the
- quakings of fear to a kind of still certainty of doom. God was angry at
- him. God was telling him so. God would send the devil for him. There was
- no further doubt. He would go to hell&mdash;to hell! To burn forever!
- Forever&mdash;even as the old woman had burned for a quarter of an hour.
- He began to search through the pages of the Bible again, not for words of
- comfort this time, but in a morbid ecstasy of despair, for phrases about
- hell, for verses that mentioned fire and flames.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not need the concordance. He knew his Bible well, and his fear
- helped him. Consciousness and subconsciousness joined to guide his fingers
- and eyes in the quest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hell from beneath is moved for thee to meet thee at thy coming,&rdquo; he read
- in Isaiah, and he took it to himself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yea, I will gather you, and blow upon you in the fire of my wrath, and ye
- shall be melted in the midst thereof,&rdquo; he read in Ezekiel.
- </p>
- <p>
- He had a literal imagination, and he had a literal belief, and at every
- repetition of the word &ldquo;fire&rdquo; the flesh cringed and crawled on his bones.
- God! To burn! How it must hurt!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And the God that answereth by fire, let Him be God,&rdquo; met his eyes in the
- first book of Kings.
- </p>
- <p>
- And it all meant him. Now and then over his shoulder would float another
- little puff of smoke; and once, lifting his head suddenly from poring over
- the book, he thought he saw something that moved and glinted like a
- traveling spark, and was gone.
- </p>
- <p>
- He began to feel himself in hell already. This was the foretaste, that was
- all. Would he begin to burn even before he died? Did this smoke presage
- something of that kind? Would flames physically seize upon him, and would
- he burn, even as the old woman had burned?
- </p>
- <p>
- Suddenly in his hysteria there came a revulsion&mdash;a revolt. Having
- reached the nethermost depths of despair, he began to move upward a
- little. His soul stirred and took a step and tried to climb. He began to
- pray once more. After all, the Good Book did promise mercy! He began to
- dare to pray again. And he prayed in a whisper that now and then broke
- into a whine&mdash;a strange prayer, characteristic of the man.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, God,&rdquo; he cried, &ldquo;you promise forgiveness in that book there, and I'm
- gonna hold you to it! I'm gonna hold you to it! It's down there in black
- and white, your own words, God, and I'm gonna hold you to it! It's a
- contract, God, and you ain't the kind of a man, God, to go back on a
- contract that's down in black and white!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Thus he prayed, with a naïve, unconscious blasphemy. And after long
- minutes of this sort of thing his soul dared take another step. A faint,
- far glimmering of hope came to him where he groveled. For he was groveling
- on the bed now, with the covers pulled up to his head and his hand upon
- the open Bible. He found the courage to peer from beneath the covers at
- intervals as he prayed and muttered, and minutes passed with no more
- smoke. Had the smoke ceased? The sound of his own murmuring voice began to
- reassure him. The smoke had certainly ceased! It had been twenty minutes
- since he had seen it&mdash;half an hour!
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it mean? That God was hearkening to his prayer?
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour went by, and still there was no more sign of smoke. He prayed
- feverishly, he gabbled, as if by the rapidity of his utterance and the
- repeated strokes of his words he were beating back and holding at bay the
- smoke that was God's warning and the symbol of his displeasure. And the
- smoke had ceased to come! He was to be forgiven! He was winning! His
- prayers were winning for him! At least God was listening!
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, that must be it. God was listening now. The smoke had come as a
- warning; and he had, upon receiving this warning, repented. God had not
- meant, after all, that he was doomed irrevocably. God had meant that, to
- be forgiven, his repentance must be genuine, must be thorough&mdash;and it
- was thorough now. Now it was genuine! And the smoke had ceased! The smoke
- had been a sign, and he had heeded the sign, and now if he kept up his
- prayers and lived a good life in the future he was to be forgiven. He
- would not have to burn in hell after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- The minutes passed, and he prayed steadily, and every minute that went by
- and brought no further sign of the smoke built up in him a little more
- hope, another grain of confidence.
- </p>
- <p>
- An hour and a quarter, and he almost dared be sure that he was forgiven&mdash;but
- he was not quite sure. If he could only be quite sure! He wallowed on the
- bed, and his hand turned idly the pages of the Bible, lying outside on the
- coverlet.
- </p>
- <p>
- More than an hour had gone by. Could he accept it as an indication that
- God had indeed heard him? He shifted himself upon the bed, and stared up
- at the ceiling through a chink in the covers as if through and beyond the
- ceiling he were interrogating heaven.
- </p>
- <p>
- And lying so, there came a damp touch upon his hand, soft and chill and
- silent, as if it were delicately and ironically brushed by the kiss of
- Death. A sudden agony numbed his hand and arm. With the compulsion of
- hysteria, not to be resisted, his head lifted and he sat up and looked.
- Over the Bible and his hand that lay upon the open page there floated
- again a puff of smoke, and faintly staining his Angers and the paper
- itself was something moist and red. It stained his Angers and it marked
- with red for his straining sight this passage of Isaiah:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The earth also shall disclose her blood.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was then he cried out, &ldquo;Oh, God! God! Again! You meant it, then, God!
- You meant it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was nearly midnight when Tommy and his friend Dobson returned to the
- hotel. &ldquo;Your paper's been trying to get you for an hour, Mr. Hawkins,&rdquo;
- said the night clerk when they came in. &ldquo;Story right in the next room to
- yours. Old party in there hanged himself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;So?&rdquo; said Tommy. &ldquo;Ungrateful old guy, he is! I put in the afternoon
- trying to cheer him up a little.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did you know him?&rdquo; asked the clerk.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nope,&rdquo; said Tommy, moving toward the elevator.
- </p>
- <p>
- But a few moments later, confronted with the grotesque spectacle in the
- room upstairs, he said, &ldquo;Yes&mdash;I&mdash;I know him. Jack! Jack! Get me
- out of here, Jack! It's Uncle Ezra, Jack! He's&mdash;he's come for me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As has been remarked before, sometimes even a bubble may be a mordant
- weapon.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0009" id="link2H_4_0009"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- VIII.&mdash;The Chances of the Street
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">M</span>erriwether Buck
- had lost all his money. Also his sisters', and his cousins', and his
- aunts'.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At two o'clock sharp I will shoot myself,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck.
- </p>
- <p>
- He caressed a ten-shot automatic pistol in the right-hand pocket of his
- coat as he loitered up Broadway. He was light-headed. He had had nothing
- to eat for forty-eight hours.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;How I hate you!&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, comprehensively to the city in
- general. &ldquo;If nine pistol shots would blot you out, I'd do it!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Very melodramatic language, this, for a well-brought-up young man; and
- thus indicating that he was light-headed, indeed. And as for the city, it
- continued to roar and rattle and honk and rumble and squeak and bawl and
- shuffle and thunder and grate in the same old way&mdash;supreme in its
- confidence that nine pistol shots could not, by any possibility, blot it
- out. That is one of the most disconcerting things about a city; you become
- enraged at it, and the city doesn't even know it. Unless you happen to be
- Nero it is very difficult to blot them out satisfactorily.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was one o'clock. Merriwether Buck crossed the street at Herald Square
- and went over and stood in front of the big newspaper office. A portly
- young fellow with leaden eyes came out of the building and stood
- meditatively on the curb with his hands in the pockets of clothing that
- clamored shrilly of expense.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Excuse me,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, approaching him, &ldquo;but are you, by any
- chance, a reporter?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Uh,&rdquo; grunted the young man, frigidly affirmative.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I can put you in the way of a good story,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, obeying
- an impulse: We may live anonymously but most of us like to feel that it
- will make a little stir when we die.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh,&rdquo; remarked the reporter.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At two o'clock,&rdquo; persisted Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;I am going to shoot
- myself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The reporter looked bored; his specialty was politics.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Are you anybody in particular?&rdquo; he asked, discouragingly.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; confessed Merriwether Buck. It didn't seem to be worth while to
- mention that he was one of the Bucks of Bucktown, Merriwether County,
- Georgia.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thought,&rdquo; said the reporter, with an air of rebuke, &ldquo;that you said it
- was a <i>good</i> story.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am, at least, a human being,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, on the defensive.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;They're cheap, hereabout,&rdquo; returned the other, in the manner of a person
- who has estimated a good many assorted lots.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are callous,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck. &ldquo;Callous to the soul! What are
- you, but&mdash;but&mdash;Why, you are New York incarnate! That is what you
- are! And I think I will shoot you first!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I don't want to be a spoil sport,&rdquo; said the reporter, &ldquo;but I'm afraid I
- can't allow it. I have a rather important assignment.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether played with the little automatic pistol in his pocket. It was
- not any regard for the consequences that deterred him from shooting the
- portly young man. But in his somewhat dizzy brain a fancy was taking
- shape; a whim worked in him. He drew his hand empty from the pocket, and
- that reporter came up out of the grave.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am hungry,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, in obedience to the whim.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now that you remind me of it,&rdquo; said the other, his lack-luster eyes
- lighting up a little, &ldquo;so am I!&rdquo; And he crossed the street and disappeared
- through the swinging doors of a café.
- </p>
- <p>
- Callous, leaden-eyed young man! epitome of this hard town! So cried the
- spirit of Merriwether Buck; and then he spoke aloud, formulating his idea:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;New York, you are on trial. You are in the balances. I give you an hour.
- If I'm asked to lunch by two o'clock, all right. If not, I will kill
- myself, first carefully shooting down the most prosperous citizens, and as
- many of 'em as I can reach. New York, it's up to you!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The idea of playing it out that way tickled him to the heart; he had
- always loved games of chance. One man or woman out of all the prosperous
- thousands in the streets might save another prosperous half-dozen; might
- save as many as he could otherwise reach with nine shots from his pistol,
- for he would reserve the tenth for himself. Otherwise, there should be a
- sacrifice; he would offer up a blood atonement for the pagan city's
- selfishness. Giddy and feverish, and drunk with the sense of his power to
- slay, he beheld himself as a kind of grotesque priest&mdash;and he threw
- back his head and laughed at the maniac conceit.
- </p>
- <p>
- A woman who was passing turned at the sound, and their eyes met. She
- smiled. Merriwether Buck was good to look at. So was she. She was of that
- type of which men are certain at once, without quite knowing why; while
- women are often puzzled, saying to themselves: &ldquo;After all, it may be only
- her rings.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, overtaking her, &ldquo;but you and I are to
- lunch together, aren't we?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I like your nerve!&rdquo; said she. And she laughed. It was evident that she
- did like it. &ldquo;Where?&rdquo; she asked briefly, falling into step beside him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Wherever you like,&rdquo; said Merriwether. &ldquo;I leave that to you, as I'm
- depending on you to pay the check.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She began a doubtful laugh, and then, seeing that it wasn't a joke,
- repeated:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I like your nerve!&rdquo; And it was now evident that she didn't like it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; he said, speaking rapidly, &ldquo;my clothes look all right yet, but
- I'm broke. I'm hungry. I haven't had anything to eat since day before
- yesterday. I'm not kidding you; it's true. You looked like a good fellow
- to me, and I took a chance. Hunger&rdquo; (as he spoke it he seemed to remember
- having heard the remark before), &ldquo;hunger makes one a judge of faces; I
- gambled on yours.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She wasn't complimented; she regarded him with a manner in which scorn and
- incredulity were blended; Merriwether Buck perceived that, for some reason
- or other, she was insulted.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;don't pull any of that sentimental stuff on me. I
- thought you was a gentleman!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And she turned away from him. He took a step in pursuit and started to
- renew his plea; for he was determined to play his game square and give the
- directing deities of the city a fair chance to soften whatsoever random
- heart they would.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Beat it!&rdquo; she shrilled, &ldquo;beat it, you cheap grafter, or I'll call a cop!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Merriwether beat it; nor' by nor'west he beat it, as the street beats
- it; as the tides beat. The clock on the Times building marked 1.20 as he
- paused by the subway station there. In forty minutes&mdash;just the time
- it takes to hook your wife's dress or put a girdle round the world&mdash;Merri-wether
- Buck would be beating it toward eternity, shooing before him a flock of
- astonished ghosts of his own making. Twenty minutes had gone by and
- whatever gods they be that rule New York had made no sign; perhaps said
- gods were out at lunch or gone to Coney Island. Twice twenty minutes more,
- and&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- But no. It is all over now. It must be. There emerges from the subway
- station one who is unmistakably a preacher. The creases of his face attest
- a smiling habit; no doubt long years of doing good have given it that
- stamp; the puffs of white hair above the temples add distinction to
- benignity.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I beg your pardon,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;but are you a minister?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh?&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman, adjusting a pair of gold-rimmed
- eyeglasses. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; he said pleasantly, &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; and he removed the glasses
- and put them back on once again, as he spoke. Somehow, the way he did it
- was a benediction.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am hungry,&rdquo; said Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dear me!&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman. &ldquo;I shouldn't have thought it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Will you ask me to lunch?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Eh?&rdquo; It was an embarrassing question; but the gentleman was all good
- nature. His air indicated that he did not intend to let his own
- embarrassment embarrass Merriwether too much. &ldquo;My dear man, you know&mdash;really&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- He placed a shapely hand upon Merriwether's shoulder, rallyingly, almost
- affectionately, and completed the sentence with a laugh.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's charity I'm asking for,&rdquo; said Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh!&rdquo; For some reason he seemed vastly relieved. &ldquo;Have you been&mdash;but,
- dear me, are you sure you aren't joking?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes; sure.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And have you&mdash;ahem!&mdash;have you sought aid from any institution;
- any charitable organization, you know?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But no,&rdquo; said Merriwether, who had instinctively eliminated charitable
- organizations, free lunches and police stations from the terms of his
- wager, &ldquo;I thought&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My, my, my,&rdquo; hummed the reverend gentleman, interrupting him. He produced
- his card case and took a card therefrom. &ldquo;I am going,&rdquo; he said, writing on
- the card with a pencil, &ldquo;to give you my card to the secretary of the
- Combined Charities. Excellent system they have there. You'll be
- investigated, you know,&rdquo; he said brightly, as if that were an especial
- boon he was conferring, &ldquo;your record looked into&mdash;character and
- antecedents and all that sort of thing!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And fed?&rdquo; asked Merriwether.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, indeed!&rdquo; And he handed over the card as if he were giving Merriwether
- the keys to the city&mdash;but not too gross and material a city either;
- Merriwether felt almost as if he were being baptized.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;I wanted <i>you</i> to feed me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, my dear man!&rdquo; smiled the minister, &ldquo;I <i>am</i> doing it, you know.
- I'm a subscriber&mdash;do <i>all</i> my charitable work this way. Saves
- time. Well, good-by.&rdquo; And he nodded cheerily.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, &ldquo;aren't you interested in me personally?
- Don't you want to hear my story?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Story? Story?&rdquo; hummed the other. &ldquo;Indeed, but they'll learn your story
- there! They have the most excellent system there; card system; cases and
- case numbers, you know&mdash;Stories, bless you! Hundreds and hundreds of
- stories! Big file cases! You'll be number so-and-so. Really,&rdquo; he said,
- with a beaming enthusiasm, &ldquo;they have a <i>wonderful</i> system. Well,
- good-by!&rdquo; There was a touch of finality in his pleasant tone, but
- Merriwether caught him by the sleeve.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;See here,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;haven't you even got any <i>curiosity</i> about me?
- Don't you even want to know why I'm hungry? Can't you find time <i>yourself</i>
- to listen to the tale?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Time,&rdquo; said the reverend gentleman, &ldquo;<i>time</i> is just what I feel the
- lack of&mdash;feel it sadly, at moments like these, sadly.&rdquo; He sighed, but
- it was an optimistic, good-humored sort of sigh. &ldquo;But I tell you what you
- do.&rdquo; He drew forth another card and scribbled on it. &ldquo;If you want to tell
- me your story so very badly&mdash;(dear me, what remarkable situations the
- clerical life lets one in for!)&mdash;so <i>very</i> badly, take this card
- to my study about 3.30. You'll find my stenographer there and you can
- dictate it to her; she'll type it out. Yes, indeed, she'll type it out!
- Well, <i>good</i>-by!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And with a bright backward nod he was off.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was 1.25. There were thirty-five minutes more of life. Merriwether Buck
- gave the reverend gentleman's cards to a seedy individual who begged from
- him, with the injunction to go and get himself charitably Bertilloned like
- a gentleman and stop whining, and turned eastward on Forty-second Street.
- If you have but thirty-five minutes of life, why not spend them on Fifth
- Avenue, where sightly things abound?&mdash;indeed if you happen to be a
- homicidal maniac of some hours standing, like Merriwether Buck, Fifth
- Avenue should be good hunting ground; the very place to mark the fat and
- greasy citizens of your sacrifice.
- </p>
- <p>
- Time, the only patrician, will not step lively for the pert subway guards
- of human need, nor yet slacken pace for any bawling traffic cop of man's
- desire; he comes of an old family too proud to rush, too proud to wait; a
- fine old fellow with a sense of his own value. Time walked with
- Merriwether Buck as he loitered up Fifth Avenue, for the old gentleman
- loves to assist personally at these little comedies, sometimes; with Death
- a hang-dog third. Not even a fly-cop took note of the trio, although
- several, if they robbed a jewelry store or anything like that, would tell
- the reporters later that they had noticed something suspicious at the
- time. And the patron deities of New York City might have been over in
- Hoboken playing pinochle for all the heed <i>they</i> took.
- </p>
- <p>
- Which brings us to Sixty-fifth Street and 1.58 o'clock and the presence of
- the great man, all at once.
- </p>
- <p>
- When Merriwether Buck first saw him, Meriwether Buck gasped. He couldn't
- believe it. And, indeed, it was a thing that might not happen again this
- year or next year or in five years&mdash;J. Dupont Evans, minus bulwark or
- attendant, even minus his habitual grouch, walking leisurely toward him
- like any approachable and common mortal. Merriwether Buck might well be
- incredulous. But it was he; the presentment of that remarkable face has
- been printed a hundred thousand times; it is as well known to the world at
- large as Uncle Pete Watson's cork leg is on the streets of Prairie Centre,
- Ill.; it is unmistakable.
- </p>
- <p>
- To have J. Dupont Evans at the point of a pistol might almost intoxicate
- some sane and well-fed men, and Merriwether Buck was neither. J. Dupont
- Evans&mdash;the wealth of Croesus would be just one cracked white chip in
- the game he plays. But at this moment his power and his importance had
- been extraordinarily multiplied by circumstances. The chances of the
- street had tumbled down a half dozen banks&mdash;(well did Merriwether
- Buck know that, since it had ruined him)&mdash;and financial panic was in
- the air; an epochal and staggering disaster threatened; and at this
- juncture a president in no wise humble had publicly confessed his own
- impotence and put it up to J. Dupont Evans to avert, to save, to reassure.
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether Buck had not dreamed of this; in the crook of his trigger
- finger lay, not merely the life of a man, but the immediate destiny of a
- nation.
- </p>
- <p>
- He grasped the pistol in his pocket, and aimed it through the cloth.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Do you know what time it is?&rdquo; he asked J. Dupont Evans, politely enough.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was only a second before the man answered. But in that second
- Merriwether Buck, crazily exalted, and avid of the sensation he was about
- to create, had a swift vision. He saw bank after bank come crashing down;
- great railroad systems ruined; factories closed and markets stagnant;
- mines shut and crops ungathered in the fields; ships idle at the wharves;
- pandemonium and ruin everywhere.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh?&rdquo; said J. Dupont Evans, gruffly, removing an unlighted cigar from his
- mouth. He looked at Merriwether Buck suspiciously, and made as if to move
- on. But he thought better of it the next instant, evidently, for he pulled
- out a plain silver watch and said grudgingly: &ldquo;Two minutes of two.&rdquo; And
- then, in a tone less unpleasant, he asked: &ldquo;Have you got a match, young
- man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Merriwether fumbled in his vest pocket. In a minute and a half he would
- perfunctorily ask this man for lunch, and then he would kill him. But he
- would give him a match first&mdash;for Merriwether Buck was a
- well-brought-up young man. As he fumbled he picked out the exact spot on
- the other's waistcoat where he would plant the bullet. But the idea of a
- man on the edge of the grave lighting a cigar tickled him so that he
- laughed aloud as he held out the matches.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What can I do with these?&rdquo; snorted J. Dupont Evans. &ldquo;They are the sort
- that light only on their own box.&rdquo; From his glance one might have gained
- the impression that he thought Merriwether Buck a fool.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Great principle that,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, cackling with hysteria. It
- was so funny that a dead man should want to smoke a cigar! He would let
- him play he was alive for fifty seconds longer.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Principle?&rdquo; said Evans. &ldquo;Principle? What Principle?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Merriwether, with the random argumentativeness of insanity,
- &ldquo;it <i>is</i> a great principle. Apply that principle to some high
- explosive, for instance, and you have no more battleship flare-backs&mdash;no
- premature mine blasts&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Say,&rdquo; the other suddenly interrupted, &ldquo;are you an inventor?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; lied Merriwether Buck, glibly, although he had never given five
- seconds' thought to the subject of high explosives in his life. &ldquo;That's
- how I know. I've invented an explosive more powerful than dynamite. But it
- won't explode by contact with fire, like powder. Won't explode with a jar,
- like dynamite. Won't freeze, like dynamite. Only one way to explode it&mdash;you've
- got to bring it into contact with a certain other chemical the same as
- scratching one of these matches on its own box.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The deuce, young man!&rdquo; said the other. &ldquo;There's a fortune in it! Is it on
- the market at all?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Merriwether Buck, raising his pistol hand slightly and
- thrusting it a bit forward, under the mask of his coat pocket, &ldquo;no money
- to start it going.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hum,&rdquo; mused the other. &ldquo;I tell you what you do, young man. You come along
- to lunch with me and we'll talk the thing over&mdash;money and all.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the directing deities of New York struck twice on all the city clocks,
- and striking, winked.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0010" id="link2H_4_0010"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- IX.&mdash;The Professor's Awakening
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">H</span>ow I ever come to
- hit such a swell-looking house for a handout I never knew. Not that there
- was anything so gaudy about it, neither, as far as putting up a bluff at
- being a millionaire's mansion went, which I found out afterwards it was,
- or pretty near that at any rate. But it was just about the biggest house
- in that Illinois town, and it's mostly that kind o' place with them naked
- iron heathens in the front yard and a brick stable behind that it ain't no
- use to go up against unless you're looking for a lemon. If you need real
- food and need it sudden and ain't prospecting around town for no other
- kind of an opening you better make for the nearest public works like a
- canal being dug, or a railroad gang. Hit the little tin dinner buckets,
- men that does the unskilled labor on jobs like that, except Swedes and
- Dagos, knowing what it is to be up against it themselves now and then and
- not inclined to ask no fool questions.
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, I went around to the back door, and Biddy Malone she lets me in. I
- found out that was her name afterwards, but as soon as I seen her face I
- guessed if her name wasn't Bridget it was Nora. It's all in the first look
- they give you after they open the door. If that look's right they're
- coming across and you'll get some kind of a surprise for your digestive
- ornaments and you don't need to make no fool breaks about sawing wood
- neither. I makes my little talk and Biddy she says come in; and into the
- kitchen I went.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's Minnesota you're working towards,&rdquo; says Biddy, pouring me out a cup
- of coffee.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was thinking of the wheat harvest where there's thousands makes for
- every fall. But not for me, I never did like to work for none of them
- Scandiluvian Swedes and Norwegians that gets into the field before
- daylight and stays at it so long the hired men got to milk the cows by
- moonlight. They got no sense of proportion, them Gusses and Oles ain't.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I been across the river into I'way,&rdquo; I says, &ldquo;working at my trade, and
- I'm going back to Chicago to work at it some more.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And what may your trade be?&rdquo; says Biddy, sizing me up careful. I seen I
- made a hit somehow or she wouldn't of asked me in the first place was I
- going to the wheat harvest, but would of just supposed I was a hobo, which
- I ain't. I got a lot of trades when I want to use one, and as a regular
- thing I rather work at one of them for a while, too, but can't stand it
- very long on account of not feeling right to stay in one place too long,
- especially in the summer. When I seen I made a hit with Biddy I thinks
- I'll hand her a good one she never heard tell of before.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm an agnostic by trade,&rdquo; I says. I spotted that one in a Carnegie
- library one time and that was the first chance I ever had to spring it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I see,&rdquo; says Biddy. And she opened her eyes and mouth to once. I seen she
- didn't see, but I didn't help her none. She would of rather killed herself
- than let on she didn't see. Most of the Irish is like that whether they is
- kitchen mechanics or what. After a while she says, pouring me out some
- more coffee and handing me a little glass jar full of watermelon rinds
- boiled in with molasses and things, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And ain't that the dangerous thing to work at, though!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is,&rdquo; I says, and says nothing further.
- </p>
- <p>
- She sets down and folds her arms like she was thinking about it, watching
- my hands all the time as if she was looking for scars where something
- slipped when I done that agnostic work. Finally she says with a sigh:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Sure, and it's dangerous! Me brother Patrick was kilt at it in the old
- country. He was the most vinturesome lad of thim all!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She was putting up a stiff front, and for a minute I don't know whether
- she's stringing me or I'm stringing her. The Irish is like that. So being
- through eating I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did it fly up and hit him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She looks at me scornful and tosses her chin up and says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No. He fell off of it. And I'm thinking you don't know what one of them
- is, after!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What is it, then?&rdquo; says I.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Then you <i>don't</i> know,&rdquo; says she; and the next thing I knew I'd been
- eased out the back door and she was grinning at me through the crack of it
- with superiousness all over her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- So I was walking slow around towards the front thinking to myself how the
- Irish was a great people; and shall I go to Chicago and maybe get a job
- sailing on the lakes till navigation closes, or shall I go back to Omaha
- and work in the railroad yards again, which I don't like much, or shall I
- go on down to Saint Looey just to see what's doing. And then I thinks:
- &ldquo;Billy, you was a fool to let that circus walk off and leave you asleep
- with nothing over you but a barb wire fence this morning, and what are you
- going to do now? First thing you know you'll be a regular hobo, which some
- folks can't distinguish you ain't now.&rdquo; And then I thinks I'll go down to
- the river and take a swim and lazy around in the grass a while and think
- things over and maybe something will happen. Anyways, you can always join
- the army. And just when I was thinking that I got by one of them naked
- stone heathens that was squirting water out of a sea shell and a guy comes
- down the front steps on the jump and nabs me by the coat collar. I seen he
- was a doctor or else a piano tuner by the satchel he dropped when he
- grabbed me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did you come out of this house?&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; I says, wondering what next.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Back in you goes,&rdquo; he says, marching me towards the front steps. &ldquo;They've
- got smallpox in there.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I liked to a-jumped loose when he said that, but he twisted my coat collar
- and dug his thumbs into my neck and I seen they wasn't no use pulling
- back. If a guy that's knocking around mixes up with one of the solid
- citizens the magistrate's going to give him the worst of it on principle.
- I ain't no hobo and never was, and never traveled much with none of them
- professional bums, but there has been times I had hard work making some
- people believe it. I seen I couldn't jerk away and I seen I couldn't fight
- and so I went along. He rung the door bell, and I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Smallpox ain't no inducement to me, doc.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No?&rdquo; says he. And the door opened, and in we went. The girl that opened
- it, she drew back when she seen me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell Professor Booth that Dr. Wilkins wants to see him,&rdquo; says the doc,
- not letting loose of me.
- </p>
- <p>
- And we stood there saying nothing till the per-fessor come in, which he
- did slow and absent-minded. When he seen me he stopped and took off a pair
- of thick glasses that was split in two like a mended show case, so he
- could see me better, and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What is that you have there, Dr. Wilkins?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A guest for you,&rdquo; says Dr. Wilkins, grinning all over himself. &ldquo;I caught
- him leaving the house, and you being under quarantine and me being
- secretary to the board of health, I'll have to ask you to keep him here
- until we can get Miss Margery on her feet again,&rdquo; he says. Or they was
- words to that effect, as the lawyers asks you.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dear me,&rdquo; says Perfessor Booth, kind o' helplesslike.
- </p>
- <p>
- And he put his glasses on and took them off again, and come up close and
- looked at me like I was one of them amphimissourian specimens in a free
- museum. &ldquo;Dear me,&rdquo; he says, looking worrieder and worrieder all the time.
- And then he went to the foot of the stairs and pipes out in a voice that
- was so flat-chested and bleached-out it would a-looked just like him if
- you could a-saw it&mdash;&ldquo;Estelle,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;O Estelle!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I thinks the perfessor is one of them folks that can maybe do a lot of
- high-class thinking, but has got to have some one tell 'em what the answer
- is. But I doped him out wrong as I seen later on.
- </p>
- <p>
- Estelle, she come down stairs looking like she was the perfessor's big
- brother. I found out later she was his old maid sister. She wasn't no
- spring chicken, Estelle wasn't, and they was a continuous grin on her
- face. I figgered it must of froze there years and years ago. They was a
- kid about ten or eleven years old come along down with her, that had hair
- down to its shoulders and didn't look like it knowed whether it was a girl
- or a boy. Miss Estelle, she looks me over in a way that makes me shiver,
- while the doctor and the per-fessor jaws about whose fault it is the
- smallpox sign ain't been hung out. And when she was done listening she
- says to the perfessor: &ldquo;You had better go back to your laboratory.&rdquo; And
- the perfessor he went along out, and the doctor with him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What are you going to do with him, Aunt Estelle?&rdquo; the kid asks her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What would <i>you</i> suggest, William Dear?&rdquo; asks his aunt. I ain't
- feeling very comfortable, and I was getting all ready just to natcherally
- bolt out the front door now the doctor was gone. Then I thinks it mightn't
- be no bad place to stay in fur a couple o' days, even risking the
- smallpox. Fur I had ricolected I couldn't ketch it nohow, having been
- vaccinated a few months before in Terry Hutt by compulsory medical advice,
- me being temporary engaged in repair work on the city pavements through a
- mistake in the police court.
- </p>
- <p>
- William Dear looks at me when his aunt put it up to him just as solemn as
- if it was the day of judgment and his job was separating the fatted calves
- from the goats and the prodigals, and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you think, Aunt Estelle, we better cut his hair and bathe him and
- get him some clothes the first thing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;William is my friend,&rdquo; thinks I, and I seen right off he was one of them
- serious kids that you can't tell what is going on inside their heads.
- </p>
- <p>
- So she calls James, which was the butler, and James he buttled me into a
- bathroom the like of which I never see before; and he buttled me into a
- suit of somebody's clothes and into a room at the top of the house next to
- his'n, and then he come back and buttled a razor and a comb and brush at
- me; him being the most mournful-looking fat man I ever seen, and he
- informs me that me not being respectable I will eat alone in the kitchen
- after the servants is done. People has made them errors about me before.
- And I looks around the room and I thinks to myself that this is all right
- so far as it has went. But is these four walls, disregarding the rest of
- the house, to be my home, and them only? Not, thinks I, if little Billy
- knows it. It was not me that invited myself to become the guest of this
- family; and if I got to be a guest I be damned if I don't be one according
- to Hoyle's rules of etiquette or I'll quit the job. Will I stay in this
- one room? Not me. Suppose the perfessor takes it next? And then William
- Dear? And suppose when William Dear gets through with it he gives it to
- Aunt Estelle? Am I to waste the golden hours when, maybe, my country needs
- me, just for accommodation? But I thinks it's all right for a day or two
- and then I'll leave my regrets and go on down to Saint Looey or
- somewheres. And then James he buttles back into the room like a funeral
- procession and says the perfessor says he wants to see me in the
- laboratory.
- </p>
- <p>
- That was a big room and the darndest looking room I ever see, and it smelt
- strong enough to chase a Hungarian pig sticker out of a Chicago slaughter
- house. It smelt like a drug store had died of old age and got buried in a
- glue factory. I never seen so much scientific effusions and the things to
- hold 'em in mixed up in one place before. They must of been several brands
- of science being mixed up there all to once. They was dinky little stoves,
- they was glass jars of all shapes and sizes labeled with Dago names
- standing around on shelves like in one of them Dutch delicatessen stores;
- they was straight glass tubes and they was glass tubes that had the spinal
- contortions; they was bones and they was whole skeletons, and they was
- things that looked like whisky stills; they was a bookcase full of bugs
- and butterflies against one wall; they was chunks of things that might
- have been human for all I know floating around in vats like pickled pork
- in a barrel; they was beer schooners with twisted spouts to them; they was
- microscopes and telescopes and twenty-seven shapes and sizes of knives;
- they was crates of stuff that was unpacked and crates that wasn't; and
- they was tables with things just piled and spilled over 'em, every which
- way, and the looks of everything was dirty on account of the perfessor not
- allowing any one in there but himself and Miss Estelle and William. And
- whether you knowed anything about them different brands of science or not
- you could see the perfessor was one of them nuts that's always starting to
- do things and then leaving them go and starting something else. It looked
- as if the operating room of an emergency hospital and a blacksmith shop
- and a people's free museum and a side show full of freaks, snakes and
- oneeyed calves had all gone out and got drunk together, all four of them,
- and wandered into a cremation plant to sleep off that souse; and when they
- woke up they couldn't tell which was which nor nothing else except they
- had a bad taste in their mouth and was sentenced to stay there unseparated
- and unhappy and unsociable in each other's company for evermore. And every
- time you turned around you stepped on something new, and if you saw a rat
- or a lizard or a spider you better let him alone for how was you going to
- tell he was dead or alive till he crawled up you?
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor, he was setting over by a window, and he pushed out another
- chair for me and he says sit down.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are a gentleman of leisure?&rdquo; he says, with a grin; or words to that
- effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I work at that sometimes,&rdquo; I told him, &ldquo;although it ain't rightly my
- trade.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Biddy Malone says you're an agnostic,&rdquo; he says, looking at me close. It
- won't do, I thinks, to spring none of them agnostic gags on him, so I says
- nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm one myself,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Regular,&rdquo; I asks him, &ldquo;or just occasional?&rdquo; He kind o' grins again, and I
- thinks: &ldquo;Billy, you're making a hit somehow.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he says, like he was apologizing to someone about something: &ldquo;Being
- interested in sociology and the lower classes in general, I sent for you
- to get some first-hand observations on your train of mind,&rdquo; he says. Or it
- was words like them. &ldquo;I'm a sociologist,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- I seen I made a hit before and I thinks I'll push my luck, so I swells up
- and says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I'm a kind of sociologist myself.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Hum,&rdquo; he says, thoughtful-like. &ldquo;Indeed? And your itinerant mode of
- subsistence is persecuted in pursuit of your desire to study knowledge of
- the human specimen and to observe wisdom as to the ways they live in the
- underworld,&rdquo; he says. Or it was words to that effect. I wish I'd a-had him
- wrote them words down. Then I'd a-had 'em just right now. I seen a bunch
- of good words help a man out of a hole before this. Words has always been
- more or less my admiration; you can never tell what one of them long
- gazaboos is going to do till you spring it on somebody. So I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That's me, perfessor. I likes to float around and see what's doing.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he tells me that sociology was how the criminal classes and the lower
- classes in general was regarded by the scientific classes, only it's a
- difficult brand of science to get next to, he says, on account of the
- lower classes like me being mostly broke out with environment he says,
- unbeknownst even to theirselves. He's not what you would call a practicing
- sociologist all the time, being afraid, I suppose, he would catch it if he
- got too close to it; he's just one of the boys that writes about it, so as
- both the lower classes and the scientific classes won't make no bad
- breaks, he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- But what he wants of me just now ain't got nothing to do with that, he
- says. He's been making experiments with all kinds of canned victuals, that
- is put up with acid that eats holes in your stomach, he says, and so long
- as I'm going to be a guest he's going to mix some of them acids in my
- chuck and weigh me after each meal. He says I'll start slow and easy and
- there won't be nothing dangerous about it. He's been practicing on William
- Dear and Miss Estelle, which I suppose it was the acids got into her
- smile, but he's going to give them a rest, them being naturally delicate.
- I ain't got no kick, I thinks, and I'm going to leave this place in a day
- or two anyhow. Besides, I always was intrusted in scientific things and
- games of chance of all kinds.
- </p>
- <p>
- But I didn't leave in a few days, and the first thing I knew I'd been
- there a week. I had pretty much the run of the house, and I eat my meals
- with Biddy Malone, the only uncomfortable feature of being a guest being
- that Miss Estelle, soon as she found out I was an agnostic (whatever brand
- of science that is, which I never found out to this day, just having come
- across the word accidental), she begun to take charge of my religion and
- intellectuals and things like that. She used to try to cure the perfessor,
- too, but she had to give it up for a bad job, Biddy says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Biddy, she says Mrs. Booth's been over to her mother's while this smallpox
- has been going on; which I hadn't knowed they was a Mrs. Booth before. And
- Biddy, she says if she was Mrs. Booth she'd stay there, too. They's been a
- lot of talk, anyhow, Biddy says, about Mrs. Booth and some musician fellow
- around town. But Biddy she likes Mrs. Booth, and even if it was so who
- could blame her?
- </p>
- <p>
- Things ain't right around that house since Miss Estelle's been there,
- which the perfessor's science, though worrying to the nerves, ain't cut
- much ice till about four years ago when Miss Estelle come.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Mrs. Booth she's getting where she can't stand it much longer, Biddy
- says. I didn't blame her none for feeling sore about things.
- </p>
- <p>
- You can't expect a woman that's pretty and knows it, and ain't more'n
- thirty-two or three years old, and don't look it, to be interested in
- mummies and pickled snakes and the preservation of the criminal classes
- and chemical profusions, not <i>all</i> the time. And maybe when she'd ask
- the perfessor if he wasn't going to take her to the opera he'd ask her did
- she know them Germans had invented a newfangled disease or that it was a
- mistake about them Austrians hiding their heads in the sand when they are
- scared, which any fool that's ever seen 'em working around a coal mine
- ought to of knowed. It wouldn't a-been so bad if the perfessor had just
- picked out one brand of science and stuck to it. She could a-got used to
- any one kind and knowed what to expect. But maybe this week the
- perfessor's bug would be ornithography, and he'd be chasing sparrows all
- over the front lawn; and next week it would be geneology and he'd be
- trying to grow bananas on a potato vine. Then, he'd get worried about the
- nigger problem in the south, and settle it all up scientific and explain
- how ethnology done the whole damn thing, lynchings and all, and it never
- could be straightened out till it was done scientific. Every new gag that
- come out the perfessor took up with it, Biddy says; one time he'd be
- fussing around with gastronomy through a telescope and the next he'd be
- putting astrology into William's breakfast food.
- </p>
- <p>
- They was a row on all the time about the kids, which they hadn't been till
- Miss Estelle come. Mrs. Booth she said they could kill their own selves if
- they wanted to, but she had more right than anybody to say what went into
- William's digestive ornaments, and she didn't want him brought up
- scientific nohow, but just human. He was always making notes on William,
- which was how William come to take so little interest in life after a
- while. But Miss Estelle, she egged him on. She seen he didn't have no
- sense about his money, which had been left to him when he was a sure
- enough perfessor in a college before he quit and went nuts and everything
- begun to go wrong between him and Mrs. Booth, so Miss Estelle she took to
- running his money herself; but she seen likewise that when it come to
- writing articles about William's insides and intellectuals the perfessor
- he was a genius. Well, maybe he was; but Biddy wouldn't let him try none
- of them laboratory gags on her though she just as soon be hypnotized and
- telepathed as not just to humor him. Miss Estelle, she eat what the
- perfessor give her, and after a while she says she'll take charge of the
- children's education herself, their mother being a frivolous young thing,
- and it was too bad, she says, a genius like him couldn't a-mar-ried a
- noble woman who would a-understood his great work for humanity and
- sympathized with it. So while the perfessor filled William and Miss
- Margery up on new discovered food and weighed 'em and probed 'em and
- sterilized 'em and did everything else but put 'em in glass bottles, Miss
- Estelle she laid out courses of reading matter for them and tended to
- their religion and intellectuals and things like that. I reckon they never
- was two kids more completely educated, inside and out. It hadn't worked
- much on Miss Margery yet, her being younger than William. But William took
- it hard and serious, being more like his father's family, and it made
- bumps all over his head. I reckon by the time William was ten years old he
- knew more than a whole high school, and every time that boy cut his finger
- he just naturally bled science. But somehow he wasn't very chipper, and
- whenever the perfessor would notice that he and Miss Estelle would change
- treatment. But Biddy liked William just the same, they hadn't spoiled his
- disposition none; and she said he seen a lot of things his aunt never
- would a-seen, William did. One day when I first was a guest I says to his
- aunt, I says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Miss Booth, William looks kind o' pale to me like he was getting too much
- bringin' up to the square inch.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She acted like she didn't care for no outsiders butting in, but I seen
- she'd noticed it, too, and she liked William, too, in a kind of scientific
- sort of a way, and she says in a minute:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What do you suggest?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; says I, &ldquo;what a kid like that needs is to roll around and play in
- the dirt now and then, and yell and holler.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She went away like she was kind o' mad about it; but about an hour later
- the perfessor sent word for me to come down to the labaratory, and Miss
- Estelle was there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We have decided that there is something in what you say,&rdquo; says the
- perfessor. &ldquo;Even the crudest and most untrained intellectuals has now and
- then a bright hunch from which us men of special knowledge may take a
- suggestion,&rdquo; he says, or words to that effect. And they was a whole lot
- more, and they was more scientific than that. I didn't know I'd done
- nothing important like that, but when he told me all about it in science
- talk I seen I made a ten strike, though I should of thought anyone could
- of saw all William needed was just to be allowed to be a little more
- human.
- </p>
- <p>
- But what do you think&mdash;I never was so jarred in my life as I was the
- next day. I seen Miss Estelle spreading an oilcloth on the floor, and then
- the butler come in and poured a lot of nice, clean, sterilized dirt on to
- it. And then she sent for William.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;William Dear,&rdquo; she says, &ldquo;we have decided that what you need is more
- recreation mixed in along with your intellectuals. You ought to romp and
- play in the dirt, close to the soil and nature, as is right for a youth of
- your age. For an hour each day right after you study your biology and
- before you take up your Euclid you will romp and play in this dirt like a
- child of nature, and frolic. You may now begin to frolic, William, and
- James will gather up the dirt again for to-morrow's frolic.&rdquo; Or it was
- words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- But William didn't frolic none. He seen things they didn't. He just looked
- at that dirt, and he come the nearest to smiling I ever seen William come;
- and then he come the nearest to getting mad I ever seen William come. And
- then he says very serious:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Aunt Estelle,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;I shall <i>not</i> frolic. I have come to that
- place in my discretions where my intellectuals got to work some for
- theirselves. It is them intellectuals which you have trained that refuses
- to be made ridiculous one hour each day between the biology lesson and the
- Euclid lesson with sand.&rdquo; Those was not William's exact words, which he
- always had down as slick as his pa, but they was what he meant. William
- was a serious kid, but he seen things his aunt never had no idea of. And
- he never did frolic, neither, and all that nice clean dirt had to be
- throwed out by the stable amongst the unscientific dirt again.
- </p>
- <p>
- That was before Biddy Malone told me about why it was that the perfessor
- and his wife didn't get along well, and as I was saying I didn't blame her
- none, Miss Estelle having finally beat her out about her own children,
- too; and she feeling she didn't scarcely own 'em no more, and they hardly
- daring to kiss their own mamma with Miss Estelle in the room because of
- germs, so Biddy says. Biddy, she says the perfessor is all right, he's
- just a fool and don't mean no harm by his scientific gags, but Miss
- Estelle she's a she-devil and takes that way to make herself the boss of
- that house. If she wasn't there Mrs. Booth would have been boss and never
- let the perfessor know it and things wouldn't a-been so bad. Which shows
- that so long as every house got to have a boss it ain't so much difference
- if it's a him or her so long as it ain't a relation.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor always eats his dinner in one of them coats with the
- open-face vest to it, and one night I thinks I will, too. When you is in
- Rome you does like the Dagos does, I thinks.
- </p>
- <p>
- So I sends for James along before dinner time and I says: &ldquo;Where is my
- dinky clothes to eat dinner in?&rdquo; I says.
- </p>
- <p>
- James he says I'm to continue to eat dinner by myself. Which is all right,
- I tells him, but I'll do it in style or I'll quit the job. So he goes and
- asks Miss Estelle, and she comes in with that lemon grin on, but looking,
- too, like I done something to please her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is it true,&rdquo; she says, &ldquo;that already the effects of a refined environment
- has overcome defections in early training and a misfortune in ancestral
- hereditary?&rdquo; she says. Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It is true,&rdquo; I says. And the perfessor's being too small she made James
- give me his'n. But when I seen all that shirt front it made me feel kind
- of uncomfortable, too. So I takes them off again and puts on my old
- striped sweater and puts on the vest and coat over that, and the effect of
- them red stripes running crossways is something gorgeous with one of them
- open-face vests over it.
- </p>
- <p>
- So after I eat I don't want to go to bed and I gets a box of the
- perfessor's cigars and goes into the library and thinks I'll see if he's
- got anything fit to read. I dig around for a while among them shelves, and
- most everything is one brand of science or other, but finally I got hold
- of a little book that was real interesting. That was the damndest book! It
- was all in rhyme, with the explanations of the rhyme printed in real talk
- down the sides so as you could tell where you was at and what it was
- about. It's about an Ancient Mariner. The nut that wrote it he's never
- been sailing none, I bet; but he can make you feel like you been going
- against the hop in one of them Chink joints. Of course, there ain't
- nothing real literary about it like one of them Marie Corelli stories I
- read once and it ain't got the excitement of a good Bill Hart movie or a
- Nick Carter story, but I got real interested in it. The I-man of that
- story he was a Jonah to the whole ship. He seen an albatross circling
- around, and he up with his air gun and give him his'n. It wasn't for
- nothing to eat, but just to be a-shooting. And from that on everybody gets
- as sick of living as a bunch of Chicago factory hands when another savings
- bank busts, and they all falls down and curses him. And the snakes wiggles
- all over the top of the water like I seen 'em one time when they cleaned
- out a reservoir where one of them prairie towns gets its drinking water
- from. And the Ancient Mariner he tries to die and can't make it; and their
- ghosts is whizzing all around that ship and they go by him in the
- moonlight like a puff of steam goes by you on a frosty morning out of an
- engine-room manhole. And there's a moral to that story, too. I bet the
- fellow that doped that out had been on an awful bat. I like to of talked
- with that nut. They was a fellow named Looney Hogan use to have them
- phoney hunches, and he use to tell me what he saw after he had 'em. Looney
- was awful good company and I use to like to hear him tell what he seen and
- what he thinks he seen, but he walked off of a grain barge up to Duluth
- when he was asleep one night and he never did wake up.
- </p>
- <p>
- Sitting there thinking of the awful remarkable things that is, and the
- ones that isn't, and the ones that maybe is and maybe isn't, and the nuts
- that is phoney about some things and not about others, and how two guys
- can look at the same thing and when you ask them about it both has seen
- different things, I must a-went to sleep. And I must a-slept a long time
- there, and pretty soon in my sleep I heard two voices and then I wakes up
- sudden and still hears them, low and quicklike, in the room that opens
- right off from the library with a pair of them sliding doors like is on to
- a boxcar. One was a woman's voice, and not Miss Estelle's, and she says
- like she was choked up:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>must</i> see them before we go, Henry.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And the other was a man's voice, and it wasn't no one around our house.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But, my God!&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;suppose you catch it yourself, Jane!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I set up straight then, and I would of give a good deal to see through
- that door, because Jane was the perfessor's wife's first name.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You mean suppose <i>you</i> get it,&rdquo; she says. I like to of seen the look
- she must of give him to fit in with the way she says that <i>you</i>. He
- didn't say nothing, the man didn't; and then her voice softens down some,
- and she says, low and slow: &ldquo;Henry, wouldn't you love me if I <i>did</i>
- get it? Suppose it marked and pitted me all up?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, of course,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;of course I would. Nothing can change the way I
- feel. <i>You</i> know that.&rdquo; He said it quick enough, all right, just the
- way they do in a show, but it sounded <i>too much</i> like it does on the
- stage to of suited me if <i>I'd</i> been her. I seen folks overdo them
- little talks before this.
- </p>
- <p>
- I listens some more, and then I see how it is. This is that musician
- feller Biddy Malone's been talking about. Jane's going to run off with him
- all right, but she's got to kiss the kids first. Women is like that. They
- may hate the kids' pa all right, but they's dad-burned few of 'em don't
- like the kids. I thinks to myself: &ldquo;It must be late. I bet they was
- already started, or ready to start, and she made him bring her here first
- so's she could sneak in and see the kids. She just simply couldn't get by.
- But she's taking a fool risk, too. Fur how's she going to see Margery with
- that nurse coming and going and hanging around all night? And even if she
- tries just to see William Dear it's a ten to one shot he'll wake up and
- she'll be ketched at it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I thinks, suppose she <i>is</i> ketched at it? What of it? Ain't
- a woman got a right to come into her own house with her own door key, even
- if they is a quarantine on to it, and see her kids? And if she is ketched
- seeing them, how would anyone know she was going to run off? And ain't she
- got a right to have a friend of hern and her husband's bring her over from
- her mother's house, even if it is a little late?
- </p>
- <p>
- Then I seen she wasn't taking no great risks neither, and I thinks mebby I
- better go and tell that perfessor what is going on, fur he has treated me
- purty white. And then I thinks: &ldquo;I'll be gosh-derned if I meddle. So fur
- as I can see that there perfessor ain't getting fur from what's coming to
- him, nohow. And as fur <i>her</i>, you got to let some people find out
- what they want fur theirselves. Anyhow, where do <i>I</i> come in at?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But I want to get a look at her and Henry, anyhow. So I eases off my
- shoes, careful-like, and I eases acrost the floor to them sliding doors,
- and I puts my eye down to the little crack. The talk is going backward and
- forward between them two, him wanting her to come away quick, and her
- undecided whether to risk seeing the kids. And all the time she's kind o'
- hoping mebby she will be ketched if she tries to see the kids, and she's
- begging off fur more time ginerally.
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, sir, I didn't blame that musician feller none when I seen her. She
- was a peach.
- </p>
- <p>
- And I couldn't blame her so much, either, when I thought of Miss Estelle
- and all them scientifics of the perfessor's strung out fur years and years
- world without end.
- </p>
- <p>
- Yet, when I seen the man, I sort o' wished she wouldn't. I seen right off
- that Henry wouldn't do. It takes a man with a lot of gumption to keep a
- woman feeling good and not sorry fur doing it when he's married to her.
- But it takes a man with twicet as much to make her feel right when they
- ain't married. This feller wears one of them little, brown, pointed beards
- fur to hide where his chin ain't. And his eyes is too much like a woman's.
- Which is the kind that gets the biggest piece of pie at the lunch counter
- and fergits to thank the girl as cuts it big. She was setting in front of
- a table, twisting her fingers together, and he was walking up and down. I
- seen he was mad and trying not to show it, and I seen he was scared of the
- smallpox and trying not to show that, too. And just about that time
- something happened that kind o' jolted me.
- </p>
- <p>
- They was one of them big chairs in the room where they was that has got a
- high back and spins around on itself. It was right acrost from me, on the
- other side of the room, and it was facing the front window, which was a
- bow window. And that there chair begins to turn, slow and easy. First I
- thought she wasn't turning. Then I seen she was. But Jane and Henry
- didn't. They was all took up with each other in the middle of the room,
- with their back to it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry is a-begging of Jane, and she turns a little more, that chair does.
- Will she squeak, I wonders?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you be a fool, Jane,&rdquo; says the Henry feller.
- </p>
- <p>
- Around she comes three hull inches, that there chair, and nary a squeak.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;A fool?&rdquo; asks Jane, and laughs. &ldquo;And I'm not a fool to think of going
- with you at all, then?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- That chair, she moved six inches more and I seen the calf of a leg and
- part of a crumpled-up coat tail.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I <i>am</i> going with you, Henry,&rdquo; says Jane. And she gets up just
- like she is going to put her arms around him.
- </p>
- <p>
- But Jane don't. Fur that chair swings clear around and there sets the
- perfessor. He's all hunched up and caved in and he's rubbing his eyes like
- he's just woke up recent, and he's got a grin on to his face that makes
- him look like his sister Estelle looks all the time.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Excuse me,&rdquo; says the perfessor.
- </p>
- <p>
- They both swings around and faces him. I can hear my heart bumping. Jane
- never says a word. The man with the brown beard never says a word. But if
- they felt like me they both felt like laying right down there and having a
- fit. They looks at him and he just sets there and grins at them.
- </p>
- <p>
- But after a while Jane, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, now you <i>know!</i> What are you going to do about it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he starts to say something, too. But&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't start anything,&rdquo; says the perfessor to him. &ldquo;<i>You</i> aren't
- going to do anything.&rdquo; Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Professor Booth,&rdquo; he says, seeing he has got to say something or else
- Jane will think the worse of him, &ldquo;I am&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shut up,&rdquo; says the perfessor, real quiet. &ldquo;I'll tend to you in a minute
- or two. <i>You</i> don't count for much. This thing is mostly between me
- and my wife.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- When he talks so decided I thinks mebby that perfessor has got something
- into him beside science after all. Jane, she looks kind o' surprised
- herself. But she says nothing, except:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;What are you going to do, Frederick?&rdquo; And she laughs one of them mean
- kind of laughs, and looks at Henry like she wanted him to spunk up a
- little more, and says: &ldquo;What <i>can</i> you do, Frederick?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Frederick, he says, not excited a bit:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There's quite a number of things I <i>could</i> do that would look bad
- when they got into the newspapers. But it's none of them, unless one of
- you forces it on to me.&rdquo; Then he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You <i>did</i> want to see the children, Jane?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She nodded.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;can't you see I'm the better man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor, he was woke up after all them years of scientifics, and he
- didn't want to see her go. &ldquo;Look at him,&rdquo; he says, pointing to the feller
- with the brown beard, &ldquo;he's scared stiff right now.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Which I would of been scared myself if I'd a-been ketched that-a-way like
- Henry was, and the perfessor's voice sounding like you was chopping ice
- every time he spoke. I seen the perfessor didn't want to have no blood on
- the carpet without he had to have it, but I seen he was making up his mind
- about something, too. Jane, she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>You</i> a better man? <i>You?</i> You think you've been a model
- husband just because you've never beaten me, don't you?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;I've been a blamed fool all right. I've been a
- worse fool, maybe, than if I <i>had</i> beaten you.&rdquo; Then he turns to
- Henry and he says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Duels are out of fashion, aren't they? And a plain killing looks bad in
- the papers, doesn't it? Well, you just wait for me.&rdquo; With which he gets up
- and trots out, and I heard him running down stairs to his labertory.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he'd ruther go now. He don't want to wait. But with Jane a-looking
- at him he's shamed not to wait. It's his place to make some kind of a
- strong action now to show Jane he is a great man. But he don't do it. And
- Jane is too much of a thoroughbred to show him she expects it. And me, I'm
- getting the fidgets and wondering to myself, &ldquo;What is that there perfessor
- up to now? Whatever it is, it ain't like no one else. He is looney, that
- perfessor is. And she is kind o' looney, too. I wonder if they is anyone
- that ain't looney sometimes? I been around the country a good 'eal, too,
- and seen and hearn of some awful remarkable things, and I never seen no
- one that wasn't more or less looney when the <i>search us the femm</i>
- comes into the case. Which is a Dago word I got out'n a newspaper and it
- means: Who was the dead gent's lady friend?' And we all set and sweat and
- got the fidgets waiting fur that perfessor to come back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Which he done with that Sister Estelle grin on to his face and a pill box
- in his hand. They was two pills in the box. He says, placid and chilly:
- &ldquo;Yes, sir, duels are out of fashion. This is the age of science. All the
- same, the one that gets her has got to fight for her. If she isn't worth
- fighting for, she isn't worth having. Here are two pills. I made 'em
- myself. One has enough poison in it to kill a regiment when it gets to
- working well&mdash;which it does fifteen minutes after it is taken. The
- other one has got nothing harmful in it. If you get the poison one, I keep
- her. If I get it, you can have her. Only I hope you will wait long enough
- after I'm dead so there won't be any scandal around town.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he never said a word. He opened his mouth, but nothing come of it.
- When he done that I thought I hearn his tongue scrape agin his cheek on
- the inside like a piece of sandpaper. He was scared, Henry was.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But <i>you</i> know which is which,&rdquo; Jane sings out. &ldquo;The thing's not
- fair!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That is the reason my dear Jane is going to shuffle these pills around
- each other herself,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;and then pick out one for him
- and one for me. <i>You</i> don't know which is which, Jane. And as he is
- the favorite, he is going to get the first chance. If he gets the one I
- want him to get, he will have just fifteen minutes to live after taking
- it. In that fifteen minutes he will please to walk so far from my house
- that he won't die near it and make a scandal. I won't have a scandal
- without I have to. Everything is going to be nice and quiet and
- respectable. The effect of the poison is similar to heart failure. No one
- can tell the difference on the corpse. There's going to be no blood
- anywhere. I will be found dead in my house in the morning with heart
- failure, or else he will be picked up dead in the street, far enough away
- so as to make no talk.&rdquo; Or they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- He is rubbing it in considerable, I thinks, that perfessor is. I wonder if
- I better jump in and stop the hull thing. Then I thinks: &ldquo;No, it's between
- them three.&rdquo; Beside, I want to see which one is going to get that there
- loaded pill. I always been intrusted in games of chance of all kinds, and
- when I seen the perfessor was such a sport, I'm sorry I been misjudging
- him all this time.
- </p>
- <p>
- Jane, she looks at the box, and she breathes hard and quick.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I won't touch 'em,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I refuse to be a party to any murder of
- that kind.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Huh? You do?&rdquo; says the perfessor. &ldquo;But the time when you might have
- refused has gone by. You have made yourself a party to it already. You're
- really the <i>main</i> party to it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But do as you like,&rdquo; he goes on. &ldquo;I'm giving him more chance than I ought
- to with those pills. I might shoot him, and I would, and then face the
- music, if it wasn't for mixing the children up in the scandal, Jane. If
- you want to see him get a fair chance, Jane, you've got to hand out these
- pills, one to him and then one to me. <i>You</i> must kill one or the
- other of us, or else <i>I'll</i> kill <i>him</i> the other way. And <i>you</i>
- had better pick one out for him, because <i>I</i> know which is which. Or
- else let him pick one out for himself,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he wasn't saying nothing. I thought he had fainted. But he hadn't.
- I seen him licking his lips. I bet Henry's mouth was all dry inside.
- </p>
- <p>
- Jane, she took the box and she went round in front of Henry and she looked
- at him hard. She looked at him like she was thinking: &ldquo;Fur God's sake,
- spunk up some, and take one if it <i>does</i> kill you!&rdquo; Then she says out
- loud: &ldquo;Henry, if you die I will die, too!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And Henry, he took one. His hand shook, but he took it out'n the box. If
- she had of looked like that at me mebby I would of took one myself. Fur
- Jane, she was a peach, she was. But I don't know whether I would of or
- not. When she makes that brag about dying, I looked at the perfessor. What
- she said never fazed him. And I thinks agin: &ldquo;Mebby I better jump in now
- and stop this thing.&rdquo; And then I thinks agin: &ldquo;No, it is between them
- three and Providence.&rdquo; Beside, I'm anxious to see who is going to get that
- pill with the science in it. I gets to feeling just like Providence
- hisself was in that there room picking out them pills with his own hands.
- And I was anxious to see what Providence's ideas of right and wrong was
- like. So fur as I could see they was all three in the wrong, but if I had
- of been in there running them pills in Providence's place I would of let
- them all off kind o' easy.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry, he ain't eat his pill yet. He is just looking at it and shaking.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor reaches for his watch, and don't find none. Then he reaches
- over and takes Henry's watch, and opens it, and lays it on the table. &ldquo;A
- quarter past one,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;Mr. Murray, are you going to make me shoot
- you after all? I didn't want any blood nor any scandal,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;It's up
- to you,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;whether you want to take that pill and get your even
- chance, or whether you want to get shot. The shooting way is sure, but
- looks bad in the papers. The pill way don't implicate any one,&rdquo; he says.
- &ldquo;Which?&rdquo; And he pulls a gun.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry he looks at the gun.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he looks at the pill.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then he swallows the pill.
- </p>
- <p>
- The perfessor puts his'n into his mouth. But he don't swallow it. He looks
- at the watch, and he looks at Henry. &ldquo;Sixteen minutes past one,&rdquo; he says.
- &ldquo;<i>Mr. Murray will be dead at exactly fourteen minutes to two</i>. I got
- the harmless one. I can tell by the taste of the chemicals.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And he put the pieces out into his hand to show that he chewed his'n up,
- not being willing to wait fifteen minutes for a verdict from his digestive
- ornaments. Then he put 'em back into his mouth and chewed 'em and
- swallowed 'em down like it was coughdrops.
- </p>
- <p>
- Henry has got sweat breaking out all over his face, and he tries to make
- fur the door, but he falls down on to a sofa.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This is murder,&rdquo; he says, weaklike. And he tries to get up agin, but this
- time he falls to the floor in a dead faint.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's a dern short fifteen minutes,&rdquo; I thinks to myself. &ldquo;That perfessor
- must of put more science into Henry's pill than he thought he did fur it
- to of knocked him out this quick. It ain't skeercly three minutes.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- When Henry falls the woman staggers and tries to throw herself on top of
- him. The corners of her mouth was all drawed down, and her eyes was turned
- up. But she don't yell none. She can't. She tries, but she just gurgles in
- her throat. The perfessor won't let her fall acrost Henry. He ketches her.
- &ldquo;Sit up, Jane,&rdquo; he says, with that Estelle look on to his face, &ldquo;and let
- us have a talk.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She looks at him with no more sense in her face than a piece of putty has
- got. But she can't look away from him.
- </p>
- <p>
- And I'm kind o' paralyzed, too. If that feller laying on the floor had
- only jest kicked oncet, or grunted, or done something, I could of loosened
- up and yelled, and I would of. I just <i>needed</i> to fetch a yell. But
- Henry ain't more'n dropped down there till I'm feeling just like he'd <i>always</i>
- been there, and I'd <i>always</i> been staring into that room, and the
- last word anyone spoke was said hundreds and hundreds of years ago.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You're a murderer,&rdquo; says Jane in a whisper, looking at the perfessor in
- that stare-eyed way. &ldquo;You're a <i>murderer,</i>&rdquo; she says, saying it like
- she was trying to make herself feel sure he really was one.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Murder!&rdquo; says the perfessor. &ldquo;Did you think I was going to run any
- chances for a pup like him? He's scared, that's all. He's just fainted
- through fright. He's a coward. Those pills were both just bread and sugar.
- He'll be all right in a minute or two. I've just been showing you that the
- fellow hasn't got nerve enough nor brains enough for a fine woman like
- you, Jane,&rdquo; he says.
- </p>
- <p>
- Then Jane begins to sob and laugh, both to oncet, kind o' wildlike, her
- voice clucking like a hen does, and she says:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It's worse then, it's worse! It's worse for me than if it were a murder!
- Some farces can be more tragic than any tragedy ever was,&rdquo; she says. Or
- they was words to that effect.
- </p>
- <p>
- And if Henry had of been really dead she couldn't of took it no harder
- than she begun to take it now when she saw he was alive, but just wasn't
- no good. But I seen she was taking on fur herself now more'n fur Henry.
- Women is made unlike most other animals in many ways. When they is foolish
- about a man they can stand to have that man killed a good 'eal better than
- to have him showed up ridiculous right in front of them. They will still
- be crazy about the man that's killed, but they don't never forgive the
- lobster. I seen that work out before this. You can be most any thing else
- and get away with it, but if you're a lobster it's all off even if you
- can't help being a lobster. And when the perfessor kicks Henry in the ribs
- and he comes to and sneaks out, Jane she never even looks at him.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; says the perfessor, when she quiets down some, &ldquo;you got a lot to
- forgive me. But do you s'pose I learned enough sense so we can make a go
- of it if we start over again?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But Jane never said nothing.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Jane,&rdquo; he says, &ldquo;Estelle is going back to New England to stay there for
- good.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She begins to take a little interest then. &ldquo;Did Estelle tell you so?&rdquo; she
- says.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says the perfessor, &ldquo;Estelle don't know it yet. But she is. I'm
- going to tell her in the mornin'.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But she still hates him. She's making herself. She wouldn't of been a
- female woman if she'd of been coaxed that easy. Pretty soon she says, &ldquo;I'm
- going upstairs and go to bed. I'm tired.&rdquo; And she went out looking like
- the perfessor was a perfect stranger.
- </p>
- <p>
- After she left the perfessor set there quite a while and he was looking
- tired out, too; and there wasn't no mistake about me. I was asleep all
- through my legs, and I kept a wondering to myself, suppose them pills had
- one of them been loaded sure enough, which one would of got it? And when
- the perfessor leaves I says to myself, I reckon I better light a rag. So I
- goes to the front window and opens it easy; but I thinks about Henry's
- watch on the table, every one else having forgot it, and I thinks I better
- hunt him up and give it to him.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I thinks why should I give him pain, for that watch will always
- remind him of an unpleasant time he once had.
- </p>
- <p>
- And if it hadn't been for me sitting in that window looking at that watch
- I wouldn't a-been writing this, for I wouldn't of been in jail now.
- </p>
- <p>
- I tried to explain my intentions was all right, but the police says it
- ain't natural to be seen coming out of a front window at two in the
- morning in a striped sweater and a dinky dinner suit with a gold watch in
- your hand; if you are hunting the owner you are doing it peculiar.
- </p>
- <p>
- One of them reporters he says to me to write the truth about how I got
- into jail; nobody else never done it and stuck to facts. But this is the
- truth so help me; it was all on account of that watch, which my intentions
- with regard to was perfectly honorable, and all that goes before leads up
- to that watch. There wasn't no larceny about it; it was just another
- mistake on the part of the police. If I'd of been stealing wouldn't I
- stole the silverware a week before that?
- </p>
- <p>
- The more I travel around the more dumb people I see that can't understand
- how an honest and upright citizen can get into circumstantial evidence and
- still be a honest and upright citizen.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- X.&mdash;The Penitent
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">Y</span>ou, who are not
- married,&rdquo; said the penitent, &ldquo;cannot know&mdash;can never realize&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He hesitated, his glance wandering over the evidences of luxury, the hints
- of Oriental artistry, the esthetic effectiveness of Dr. Eustace Beaulieu's
- studio.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Proceed,&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu, suavely. &ldquo;What I may know is not the
- important thing. You do not address yourself to me, but through me to that
- principle of Harmony in the Cosmos which is Spirit&mdash;Ultimate Spirit&mdash;which
- we call God. All that I can do is assist you to get into Accord with the
- Infinite again, help you to vibrate in unison with the Cosmic All.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are right; I do not look to you,&rdquo; said the penitent, &ldquo;for ease of
- mind or spirit.&rdquo; And a fleeting half-smile showed in his eyes, as if some
- ulterior thought gave a certain gusto to the manner in which he stressed
- the pronoun <i>you</i>. But the rest of his scarred and twisted face was
- expressionless, beneath the thick mask of a heavy gray-streaked beard that
- grew almost to his eyes.
- </p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
- * Author's Note: &ldquo;The Penitent&rdquo; was suggested by two poems,
- &ldquo;A Forgiveness,&rdquo; by Browning, and &ldquo;The Portrait,&rdquo; by Owen
- Meredith.
-</pre>
- <p>
- Dr. Eustace Beaulieu was the leader&mdash;nay, the founder&mdash;of one of
- the many, many cults that have sprung up in New York City and elsewhere in
- America during the past three or four decades. An extraordinary number of
- idle, well-to-do women gathered at his studio two or three times a week,
- and listened to his expositions of ethics <i>de luxe</i>, served with just
- the proper dash of Oriental mysticism and European pseudoscience. He was
- forty, he was handsome, with magnetic brown eyes and the long sensitive
- fingers of a musician; he was eloquent, he was persuasive, he was
- prosperous.
- </p>
- <p>
- When he talked of the Zend-Avesta, when he spoke of the Vedantic writings,
- when he touched upon the Shinto worship of the Nipponese, when he
- descanted upon the likeness of the Christian teachings to the tenets of
- Buddhism, when he revealed the secrets of the Yogi philosophy, when he
- hinted his knowledge of the priestly craft of older Egypt and of later
- Eleusis, his feminine followers thrilled in their seats as a garden of
- flowers that is breathed upon by a Summer wind&mdash;they vibrated to his
- words and his manner and his restrained fervor with a faint rustling of
- silken garments and a delicate fragrance of perfume.
- </p>
- <p>
- Men were not, as a rule, so enthusiastic concerning Dr. Eustace Beaulieu
- and his cult; there were few of them at his lectures, there were few of
- them enrolled in the classes where he inducted his followers into the more
- subtle phases of ethics, where he led them to the higher planes of
- occultism, for a monetary consideration; few of them submitted themselves
- to him for the psychic healing that was one of his major claims to fame.
- And this scarred and bearded stranger, who limped, was one of the very few
- men who had ever intimated a desire to bare his soul to Dr. Beaulieu, to
- tell his story and receive spiritual ministration, in the manner of the
- confessional. These confessionals, after the public lectures, had been
- recently introduced by Dr. Beaulieu, and they were giving him, he felt, a
- firmer grip upon his flock&mdash;his disciples, he did not hesitate to
- call them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I repeat,&rdquo; said the penitent&mdash;if he was a repentant man, indeed&mdash;&ldquo;no
- bachelor can know what love really is. He cannot conceive of what the
- daily habit of association with a woman who seems made for him, and for
- him alone, may mean to a man. My love for my wife was almost worship. She
- was my wife indeed, I told myself, and she it was for whom I worked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For I did work, worked well and unselfishly. Every man must have some
- work. Some do it from necessity, but I did it because I loved the work&mdash;and
- the woman&mdash;and thus I gained a double reward. I was a politician, and
- something more. I think I may say that I was a patriot, too. The inheritor
- of wealth and position, I undertook to clear the city in which I lived,
- and which my forefathers had helped to build, of the ring of grafters who
- were making the name of the town a byword throughout the nation. The
- details of that long and hard strife are not pertinent. I fought with
- something more than boldness and determination; I fought with a joy in
- every struggle, because I fought for something more than the world knew.
- The world could not see that my inspiration was in my home; that in the
- hours of battle my blood sang joyously with the thought of&mdash;her! Was
- it any wonder that I worked well?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day, as I sat in my office downtown, the thought of her drew me so
- strongly that I determined to surprise her by coming home unexpectedly
- early. It was summer, and we were living in our country home, an
- old-fashioned stone residence a couple of miles from the outskirts of the
- city. The house was situated at the edge of a park that was, indeed,
- almost virgin forest, for the whole estate had been in my family for
- nearly a hundred years.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I determined to surprise my wife, and at the same time to take the rare
- relaxation of a suburban walk. I was soon outside the city limits, and
- through the zone where vacant lots broaden into fields; and then I left
- the road, cutting across the fields and finally plunging into the woods on
- my own place. Thus it was that I approached the house from the rear and
- came suddenly out of the timber into my own orchard. I seldom walked from
- town, and it was a good long hour before my usual time of arrival,
- although in that sheltered and woody place the dusk was already gathering
- in.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;As I entered the orchard a man made a hurried exit from a vine-wreathed
- pergola where my wife often sat to read, cast one look at me, cleared the
- orchard fence, and made off through the woods, disappearing at once among
- the boles of the trees.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He had not turned his full face toward me at any time, but had shielded
- it with an upflung arm; from the moment he broke cover until his
- disappearance there had passed less time than it takes to tell it, and I
- was scarcely to be blamed if I was left guessing as to his identity, for
- the moment. For the moment, I say.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;There had been so much fright in his manner that I stood and looked after
- him. The thought came to me that perhaps here was a man who had had an
- affair with one of my servants. I turned toward the pergola and met&mdash;my
- wife!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;She was a beautiful woman, always more beautiful in her moments of
- excitement. She confronted me now with a manner which I could not help but
- admire. I trusted her so that she might readily have passed off a much
- more anomalous situation with an easy explanation. But in her face I read
- a deliberate wish to make me feel the truth.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I looked at her long, and she returned the gaze unflinchingly. And I
- recognized her look for what it was. She had cast off the chains of
- deceit. Her glance was a sword of hatred, and the first open thrust of the
- blade was an intense pleasure to her. We both knew all without a word.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I might have killed her then. But I did not. I turned and walked toward
- the house; she followed me, and I opened the door; she preceded me inside.
- She paused again, as if gathering all her forces for a struggle; but I
- passed her in silence, and went upstairs to my own room.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then began a strange period in my life. Shortly after this episode
- came a partial triumph of the reform element in my city; the grafters were
- ousted, and I found myself with more than a local reputation, and thrust
- into an office. My life was now even more of a public matter than before.
- We entertained largely. We were always in the public eye. Before our
- guests and in public we were always all that should be. But when the
- occasion was past, we would drop the mask, turn from each other with dumb
- faces, and go each our severed ways.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For a year this sort of life kept up. I still worked; but now I worked to
- forget. When I allowed myself to think of her at all, it was always as of
- some one who was dead. Or so I told myself, over and over again, until I
- believed it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;One day there was a close election. I was the successful candidate. I was
- to go to Congress. All evening and far into the night my wife and I played
- our parts well. But when the last congratulation had been received, and
- the last speech made, and the last friend had gone, and we were alone with
- each other once more, she turned to me with a look something like the one
- she had met me with on that summer evening a year before.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I want to speak with you,' she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;They were the first words we had exchanged in that year, when not
- compelled by the necessities.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What do you wish to speak about?' I asked her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You know,' she said, briefly. And I did know. There was little use
- trying to deny it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Why have you asked me no questions?' she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I would have made another attempt to pass the situation over without
- going into it, but I saw that that would be impossible. She had reached
- the place where she must speak. I read all this in her face. And looking
- at her closely with the first candid glance I had given her in that year,
- I saw that she had changed greatly, but she was still beautiful.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I did not choose to open the subject with you,' I said; 'I thought that
- you would explain when you could stand it no longer. Evidently that time
- has come. You were to me like a dead person. If the dead have any messages
- for me, they must bring them to me unsolicited. It was not my place to
- hunt among the tombs.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No,' she said, 'let us be honest, since it is the last talk we may ever
- have together. Let us be frank with each other, and with ourselves. I was
- not like a dead person to you. The dead are dead, and I am not. You asked
- me no questions because you disdained me so. You despised me so&mdash;and
- it was sweet to you to make me feel the full weight of your scorn through
- this silence. It was better than killing me. Is that not the real reason?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I admitted, 'that is it. That is the truth.' &ldquo;'Listen,' she said,
- 'it would surprise you&mdash;would it not&mdash;to learn that I still love
- you&mdash;that I have loved you all along&mdash;that you are the only man
- I have ever really loved&mdash;that I love you now? All that is incredible
- to you, is it not?'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I said, 'it is. You must pardon me, but&mdash;it is incredible to
- me.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Well, it is true,' she said, and paused a moment. 'And I can tell you
- why it is true, and why&mdash;why&mdash;the&mdash;the other was true, too.
- You&mdash;you do not understand women,' she said. 'Sometimes I think if
- you were a smaller man, in some ways, you would understand them better.
- Sometimes I think that you are too&mdash;too big, somehow&mdash;ever to
- make a woman happy. Not too self-centered; you are not consciously
- selfish; you never mean to be. But you give, give, give the riches of your
- nature to people&mdash;to the world at large&mdash;instead of to those who
- should share them.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Oh, I know&mdash;the fault is all mine! Another kind of woman&mdash;the
- right kind for you&mdash;the kind you thought I was&mdash;would not have
- asked for all that was a necessity for me; would have been big enough to
- have done without it; would have lost herself in your love for all
- humanity. That is the kind of woman you thought I was. And I tried to be.
- But I wasn't. I wasn't that big.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I did sympathize with your work; I could understand it; I loved to hear
- you tell about it. But I loved it because it was you that told me about
- it. You didn't see that! You thought I was a goddess. It was enough for
- your nature to worship me; to set me upon a pedestal and to call me your
- inspiration; oh, you treated me well&mdash;you were faithful to me&mdash;you
- were generous! But you neglected me in a way that men do not understand;
- that some men will never understand. While you were giving your days and
- your nights, and every fiber of your brain and body, to what you called
- the cause of the people, you more and more forgot you had a wife. Again
- and again and again I tried to win you back to what you were when I
- married you&mdash;to the time when your cause was not all&mdash;but you
- wouldn't see; I couldn't make you feel.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Then I thought I would show you that other men were not such fools as to
- overlook what was wasted on you. But you never noticed; you trusted me too
- much; you were too much engrossed. And then I began to hate you. I loved
- you more than I ever did before, and at the same time I hated you. Can you
- understand that? Do you see how women can hate and love at the same time?
- Well, they can.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'At last&mdash;for I was a fool&mdash;I took a lover!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'What was his name?' I broke in.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'His name?' she cried; 'that does not matter! What matter if there was
- one of them, or two of them. That is nothing!&mdash;the name is nothing&mdash;they
- were nothing&mdash;nothing but tools; the symbols of my rage, of my hatred
- for you; whether I loved or hated you, you were all&mdash;always.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'They were merely convenient clubs with which to murder my honor in the
- dark&mdash;is that it?' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' she said, 'that is it, if you choose to put it so.' And she spoke
- with a humility foreign to her nature.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'And what now?' I asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Now,' she said, 'now that I have spoken; now that I have told you
- everything; now that I have told you that I have gone on loving you more
- and more and more&mdash;now&mdash;I am going to die.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You have not asked me to forgive you,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'No,' she replied. 'For what is forgiveness? I do not know exactly what
- that word means. It is supposed to wipe out something that has happened,
- is it not?&mdash;to make things the same as they were before! But it does
- not do that. That which has happened, has happened; and you and I know
- it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You had better live,' I said; 'I no longer consider you worthless. I
- feel that you are worthy of my anger now.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Her face cleared almost into something like joy.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I have told the truth, and I raise myself from the depths of your scorn
- to the place where you can feel a hot rage against me?' she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Yes,' I said. And the light on her face was like that of which some
- women are capable when they are told that they are beloved.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'And if I die?' she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Who knows but that you might climb by it?' I said. 'Who knows but what
- your death might turn my anger to love again?' And with that I turned and
- left her there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That night I sat all night in my study, and in the morning they brought
- me the news that she was dead. She must have used some poison. What, I do
- not know; and the physicians called it heart-failure. But what is the
- matter, Doctor?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Nothing, nothing!&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu. And he motioned for the narrator to
- proceed. But there were beads of perspiration upon the healer's forehead,
- and a pallor overspread his face.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had condemned her to death,&rdquo; the penitent went on, &ldquo;and she had been
- her own executioner. She had loved me; she had sinned against me; but she
- had always loved me; she had hated the flesh that sinned, and scorned it
- as much as I; her life was intolerable and she had been her own
- executioner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The revulsion of feeling came. I loved her again; now that I had lost
- her. All that day I shut myself up, seeing no one; refusing to look at the
- dozens of telegrams that came pouring in from friends and acquaintances,
- thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Night came again; and with it the word that the best friend I had was in
- the house; a friend of my college days, who had stood shoulder to shoulder
- with me in many a fight, then and since. He had come to be under the same
- roof with me in the hour of my bitterest bereavement, was the word he sent&mdash;how
- bitter now, he did not know. But he did not intrude upon the privacy of my
- grief. And I sat thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;thinking&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Suddenly the idea came to me that I would go upstairs to the chamber
- where she was, and look at her once more. Quietly I stole up the stairs,
- and through the hushed, dim house, on into the gloomy room, lighted only
- by the candles at the head and foot of the curtained couch on which she
- lay.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;In the room beyond, the watchers sat. I stole softly across the floor so
- as not to attract their attention; there was no one in the room with the
- body. I approached the couch, and with my hand put by the curtain&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Then I dropped it suddenly. I remembered a locket which she had formerly
- worn that had always had my picture in it, in the early days of our
- married life; a locket that had never left her neck, waking or sleeping.
- And I wondered&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I wondered something about women which no one has ever been able to tell
- me; not even a woman. I wondered if any light o' love had ever been able
- to make her feel anything like <i>real</i> love, after all! I wondered if
- she had ever hugged the thought of her sin to her bosom, even as she had
- at first hugged the thought of our real love&mdash;hers and mine. I
- wondered if she had ever carried about with her a sentimental reminder of
- her lover, of any lover, as she had once done of her husband&mdash;and how
- long ago! I wondered how important a thing it had seemed to her, after
- all! She had reconciled herself to herself, with her death, and made me
- love her again. And I wondered to how great an extent she had ever fooled
- a lover into thinking she loved him! There are depths and contradictions
- and cross-currents in the souls of women that even women do not know, far
- less men&mdash;I wondered whose picture was in that locket!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thrust my hand through the curtains of the bed again, and then jumped
- back.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had felt something warm there.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Did she live, after all?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;At the same instant I heard a movement on the other side of the bed. I
- went around.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My best friend was removing his hand from the curtains on the other side,
- and in his hand was the locket. It was his hand that I had felt.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We stared at each other. I spoke first, and in a whisper, so that the
- others in the next room, who had come to watch, should not hear.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I came for that,' I said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'The locket? So did I,&rdquo; he said. And then added quite simply, 'My picture
- is in it.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You lie!' I whispered, shaken by a wind of fury. And yet I knew that
- perhaps he did not lie, that what he said might well be true. Perhaps that
- was the cause of my fury.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;His face was lined with a grief and weariness terrible to behold. To look
- at him you would have thought that there was nothing else in the world for
- him except grief. It was a great grief that made him careless of
- everything else.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'It is my picture,' he said. 'She loved me.'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'I say that you lie,' I repeated. 'She may have played with you&mdash;but
- she never loved any one but me&mdash;in her heart she never did!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'You!' And because he whispered, hissing out the words, they seemed to
- gain in intensity of scorn. 'You! She hated you! You who neglected her,
- you with your damned eternal politics, you who could never understand her&mdash;love?
- You who could never give her the things a woman needs and must have&mdash;the
- warmth&mdash;the color&mdash;the romance&mdash;the poetry of life! You!&mdash;with
- your cold-blooded humanitarianism! I tell you, she loved <i>me!</i> Why
- should I hesitate to avow it to you? It is the sweetest thing on earth to
- me, that she loved me! She turned from you to me because&mdash;&mdash;'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Don't go into all that,' I said. 'I heard all about that last night&mdash;from
- her! Open the locket, and let us see whose face is there!'
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He opened it, and dropped the locket. He reeled against the wall, with
- his hands over his face, as if he had been struck a physical blow.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I picked the toy up and looked at it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The face in the locket was neither his face nor mine. It was the face of&mdash;of
- the man who ran from the pergola and vaulted over the orchard wall into
- the woods that summer night a year earlier; the man whom I had not, for
- the moment, recognized.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;We stood there, this man who had been my best friend and I, with the
- locket between us, and I debated whether to strike him down&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The narrator paused. And then he said, fixing Dr. Beaulieu with an intent
- gaze:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Should I have struck him down? You, who are a teacher of ethics, who set
- yourself up to be, after a fashion, a preacher, a priest, a spiritual
- director, tell me, would I have been justified if I had killed him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu seemed to shrink, seemed to contract and grow smaller,
- physically, under the other man's look. He opened his mouth as if to
- articulate, but for a second or two no word came. And then, regaining
- something of his usual poise, he said, although his voice was a bit husky:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No! It is for the Creator of life to take life, and no other. Hatred and
- strife are disharmony, and bring their own punishment by throwing the soul
- out of unity with the spirit of love which rules the universe.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It sounded stereotyped and emotionless, even in Dr. Beaulieu's own ears,
- as he said it; there was a mocking gleam in the eyes of the other man that
- spoke of a far more vital and genuine emotion. Dr. Beaulieu licked his
- lips and there came a knot in his forehead; beads of perspiration stood
- out upon his brow.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You were right,&rdquo; said Dr. Beaulieu, &ldquo;in not striking him down. You were
- right in sparing him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- The bearded man laughed. &ldquo;I did not say that I spared him,&rdquo; he said.
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu looked a question; a question that, perhaps, he dared not
- utter; or at least that he did not care to utter. He had dropped
- completely his rôle of spiritual counselor; he regarded his visitor with
- an emotion that might have been horror and might have been terror, or
- might have been a mixture of the two. The visitor replied to the unspoken
- interrogation in the healer's manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I did not strike him down. Neither did I spare him. I waited and I&mdash;I
- used him. I know how to wait; I am of the nature that can wait. It was
- years before fate drew all things together for my purpose, and gave him
- into my hands&mdash;fate, assisted by myself.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I waited, and I used him. The details are not pertinent for it is not his
- story that I am telling. I piloted him to the brink of destruction, and
- then&mdash;then, I saved him.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You saved him?&rdquo; Dr. Beaulieu was puzzled; but his fear, if fear it was,
- had not abated. There was a frank menace, now, in his visitor's air. And
- the healer seemed to be struggling, as he listened to the tale, to force
- some reluctant brain-cell to unlock and give its stored memories to his
- conscious mind.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I saved him. I saved him to be my creature. I broke him, and I saved him.
- I made him my slave, my dog, my&mdash;my anything I choose to have him. I
- have work for him to do.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Again the man paused, looking about the rich profusion of Dr. Beaulieu's
- studio. There was a table in the room which contained a number of curios
- from Eastern lands. The visitor suddenly rose from his chair and picked
- from among them a thin, keen-bladed dagger. It was a beautiful weapon, of
- some Oriental make; beautiful in its lines; beautiful with the sullen fire
- of many jewels blazing in its hilt&mdash;an evil levin that got into the
- mind and led the thoughts astray even as the dainty deadliness of the
- whole tool seduced the hand to grasp and strike. As his visitor, strangely
- breaking the flow of his narrative, examined and handled the thing, Dr.
- Beaulieu shuddered.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The man is as much my tool,&rdquo; said the visitor slowly, &ldquo;as this dagger
- would be your tool, Dr. Beaulieu, if you chose to thrust it into my breast&mdash;or
- into your own.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He laid the dagger down on the table, and resumed his seat. Dr. Beaulieu
- said nothing, but he found it difficult to withdraw his eyes from his
- visitor's steady stare. Slumped and sagged within his chair, he said
- nothing. Presently the visitor went on.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I had a fancy, Dr. Beaulieu; I had a fancy! It suited me to make my
- revenge a less obvious thing than striking down the old friend who had
- betrayed my love and confidence, a less obvious thing than striking down
- the other man&mdash;the man whose face was in the locket.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As he spoke he took from his pocket a locket. He opened it, and gazed upon
- the face. The healer half rose from his chair, and then sank back, with a
- hoarse, inarticulate murmur. His face had turned livid, and he trembled in
- every limb. It was evident that the missing scene which he had sought
- before had suddenly been flashed upon the cinema screen of his
- recollection. He remembered, now&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was my fancy, Dr. Beaulieu, to make one of them take revenge upon the
- other, that I might thus be revenged upon them both.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He suddenly rose, and forced the locket into the healer's nerveless grasp.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;That face&mdash;look at it!&rdquo; he cried, towering over the collapsed figure
- before him.
- </p>
- <p>
- Compelled by a will stronger than his own, Dr. Beaulieu looked. It was the
- counterfeit presentment of himself within. It fell from his trembling
- fingers and rolled upon the floor. The cultist buried his face in his
- hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- The other man stepped back and regarded him sardonically for a moment or
- two.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I should not wonder,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if the man who used to be my best friend
- would pay you a visit before long&mdash;perhaps in an hour, perhaps in a
- week, perhaps in a month.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He picked up the dagger again, and toyed with it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;This thing,&rdquo; he said, impersonally, trying the point upon his finger, &ldquo;is
- sharp. It would give a quick death, a sure death, an almost painless
- death, if one used it against another man&mdash;or against one's self.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And without another word he turned and left the room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Dr. Beaulieu sat and listened to his retreating footsteps. And, long after
- they had ceased to sound, Dr. Beaulieu still sat and listened. Perhaps he
- was listening for some one to come, now that the bearded man had left. He
- sat and listened, and presently he reached over to the table and picked up
- the dagger that the visitor had laid down with its handle toward him. He
- pressed its point against his finger, as the other man had done. It was
- sharp. It would give, as the fellow had said, &ldquo;a quick death, a sure
- death, an almost painless death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And as he whispered these words he was still listening&mdash;listening&mdash;waiting
- for some one to come&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0012" id="link2H_4_0012"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XI.&mdash;The Locked Box
- </h2>
- <h3>
- I
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>t was a small,
- oblong affair, not more than three inches wide or deep, by twice that much
- in length, made of some dark, hard wood; brass bound and with brass lock
- and brass hinges; altogether such a box as a woman might choose to keep
- about her room for any one of a half dozen possible uses.
- </p>
- <p>
- Clarke did not remember that he had ever seen it prior to his unexpectedly
- early return from a western trip of a month's duration. He thought he
- would give his wife a pleasant surprise, so he did not telephone the news
- of his arrival to the house, but went home and entered her room
- unannounced. As he came in his wife hastily slipped something into the
- box, locked it, and put it into one of the drawers of her desk. Then she
- came to meet him, and he would not have thought of the matter at all had
- it not been for just the slightest trace of confusion in her manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was glad to see him. She always was after his absences, but it seemed
- to him that she was exceptionally so this time. She had never been a
- demonstrative woman; but it seemed to Clarke that she came nearer that
- description on the occasion of this home-coming than ever before. They had
- a deal to say to each other, and it was not until after dinner that the
- picture of his wife hurriedly disposing of the box crossed Clarke's
- consciousness again. Even then he mentioned it casually because they were
- talked out of more important topics rather than because of any very sharp
- curiosity. He asked her what it was; what was in it.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, nothing!&mdash;nothing of any importance&mdash;nothing at all,&rdquo; she
- said; and moved over to the piano and began one of his favorite airs. And
- he forgot the box again in an instant. She had always been able to make
- Clarke forget things, when she wanted to. But the next day it suddenly
- came to him, out of that nowhere-in-particular from which thoughts come to
- mortals, that she had been almost as much confused at his sudden question
- as she had at his previous sudden entrance.
- </p>
- <p>
- Clarke was not a suspicious person; not even a very curious one, as a
- rule. But it was so evident to him that there was something in that box
- which his wife did not wish him to see that he could not help but wonder.
- Always frank with her, and always accustomed to an equal candor on her
- part, it occurred to him that he would ask her again, in something more
- than a casual way, and that she would certainly tell him, at the same time
- clearing up her former hesitation. But no!&mdash;why should he ask her?
- That would be to make something out of nothing; this was a trifle, and not
- worth thinking about. But he continued thinking about it, nevertheless....
- </p>
- <p>
- Ah, he had it! What a chump he had been, not to guess it sooner! His
- birthday was only ten days off, and his wife had been planning to surprise
- him with a remembrance of some sort. Of course! That accounted for the
- whole thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- With this idea in his head, he said nothing more about the box, but
- waited. And when dinner was over and they sat before the fire together, on
- the evening of the anniversary, he still forbore to mention it, expecting
- every moment that the next she would present him with the token. But as
- the evening wore away, with no sign on her part, he finally broke an
- interval of silence with the remark:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well, dear, don't keep me guessing any longer! Bring it to me!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Guessing? Bring you&mdash;what?&rdquo; And he could see that she was genuinely
- puzzled.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, my birthday present.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, my dear boy! And did you expect one? And I had forgotten! Positively
- forgotten&mdash;it <i>is</i> your birthday, isn't it, Dickie! If I had
- only known you <i>wanted</i> one&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo; And she came
- up and kissed him, with something like contrition, although his birthday
- had never been one of the sentimental anniversaries which she felt bound
- to observe with gifts.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't feel bad about it&mdash;I don't care, you know&mdash;really,&rdquo; he
- said. &ldquo;Only, I thought you had something of the sort in that brass-bound
- box&mdash;that was the only reason I mentioned it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Brass-bound box&mdash;why, no, I&mdash;I forgot it. I'm ashamed of
- myself, but I forgot the date entirely!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- But she volunteered no explanation of what the box contained, although the
- opportunity was so good a one.
- </p>
- <p>
- And Clarke wondered more than ever.
- </p>
- <p>
- What could it be? The letters of some former sweetheart? Well, all girls
- had sweethearts before they married, he supposed; at least all men did. He
- had had several himself. There was nothing in that. And he would not make
- an ass of himself by saying any more about it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Only... he could not remember any old sweethearts that he wouldn't have
- told Agnes all about, if she had asked him. He had no secrets from her.
- But she had a secret from him... innocent enough, of course. But still, a
- secret. There was none of those old sweethearts of his whose letters he
- cared to keep after five years of marriage. And there was no... But,
- steady! Where were his reflections leading him? Into something very like
- suspicion? Positively, yes; to the verge of it. Until Agnes got ready to
- tell him all about it, he would forget that damned box!
- </p>
- <p>
- And if she never got ready, why, that was all right, too. She was his
- wife, and he loved her... and that settled it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps that should have settled it, but it did not. Certain
- healthy-looking, fleshy specimens of humanity are said to succumb the
- quickest to pneumonia, and it may be that the most ingenuous natures
- suffer the most intensely with suspicion, when once thoroughly inoculated.
- </p>
- <h3>
- II
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">C</span>larke fought
- against it, cursing his own baseness. But the very effort necessary to the
- fight showed him the persistence of the thing itself. He loved his wife,
- and trusted her, he told himself over and over again, and in all their
- relations hitherto there had never been the slightest deviation from
- mutual confidence and understanding. What did he suspect? He could not
- have told himself. He went over their life together in his mind. In the
- five years of their married life, he could not have helped but notice that
- men were attracted to her. Of course they were. That was natural. She was
- a charming woman. He quite approved of it; it reflected credit upon him,
- in a way. He was not a Bluebeard of a husband, to lock a wife up and deny
- her the society proper to her years. And her very catholicity of taste,
- the perfect frankness of her enjoyment of masculine attention, had but
- served to make his confidence all the more complete. True, he had never
- thought she loved him as much as he loved her... but now that he came to
- think of it, was there not a warmer quality to her affection since his
- return from this last trip west? Was there not a kind of thoughtfulness,
- was there not a watchful increase in attentiveness, that he had always
- missed before? Was she not making love to him every day now; just as he
- had always made love to her before? Were not the parts which they had
- played for the five years of their married life suddenly reversed? They
- were! Indeed they were! And what did that mean? What did that portend? Did
- the brass-bound box have aught to do with that? What was the explanation
- of this change?
- </p>
- <p>
- The subtle imp of suspicion turned this matter of the exchanged rôles into
- capital. Clarke, still ashamed of himself for doing it, began covertly to
- watch his wife; to set traps of various kinds for her. He said nothing
- more about the box, but within six months after the first day upon which
- he had seen it, it became the constant companion of his thoughts.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>What</i> did he suspect? Not even now could he have said. He suspected
- nothing definite; vaguely, he suspected anything and everything. If his
- wife noticed his changed manner towards her, she made no sign. If
- anything, her efforts to please him, her attentiveness, her thoughtfulness
- in small things, increased.
- </p>
- <h3>
- III
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">T</span>here came a day
- when he could stand this self-torture no longer, he thought. He came home
- from his office&mdash;Clarke was a partner in a prosperous real-estate
- concern&mdash;at an hour when he thought his wife not yet returned from an
- afternoon of call making, determined to end the matter once for all.
- </p>
- <p>
- He went to her room, found the key to her desk, and opened the drawer. He
- found the box, but It was locked, and he began rummaging through the
- drawers, and among the papers and letters therein, for the key.
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps she carried it with her. Very well, then, he would break it open!
- With the thing in his hand he began to look around for something with
- which to force the fastenings, and was about deciding that he would take
- it down to the basement, and use the hatchet, when he heard a step. He
- turned, just as his wife entered the room.
- </p>
- <p>
- Her glance traveled from the box in his hand to the ransacked desk, and
- rested there inquiringly for a moment. Strangely enough, in view of the
- fact that he felt himself an injured husband and well within his rights,
- it was Clarke who became confused, apologetic, and evasive under her gaze.
- He essayed a clumsy lie:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Agnes,&rdquo; he began, indicating the desk, &ldquo;I&mdash;I got a bill to-day from
- Meigs and Horner, for those furs, you know&mdash;I was sure that the
- account had been settled&mdash;that you had paid them, and had shown me
- the receipt&mdash;that you had paid them from your allowance, you know&mdash;and
- I thought I would come home and look up the receipt.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- It was very lame; and very lamely done, at that, as he felt even while he
- was doing it. But it gave him an opportunity of setting the box down on
- the desk almost in a casual manner, as if he had picked it up quite
- casually, while he began to tumble the papers again with his hands.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;The receipt is here,&rdquo; she said; and got it for him.
- </p>
- <p>
- The box lay between them, but they did not look at it, nor at each other,
- and they both trembled with agitation.
- </p>
- <p>
- Each knew that the thoughts of the other were on nothing except that
- little locked receptacle of wood and brass, yet neither one referred to
- it; and for a full half minute they stood with averted faces, and fumbling
- hands, and played out the deception.
- </p>
- <p>
- Finally she looked full at him, and drew a long breath, as if the story
- were coming now; and there was in her manner a quality of softness&mdash;almost
- of sentimentality, Clarke felt. She was getting ready to try and melt him
- into a kind of sympathy for her frailty, was she! Well, that would not
- work with him! And with the receipted bill waving in his hand, he made it
- the text of a lecture on extravagance, into which he plunged with
- vehemence.
- </p>
- <p>
- Why did he not let her speak? He would not admit the real reason to
- himself, just then. But in his heart he was afraid to have her go on.
- Afraid, either way it turned. If she were innocent of any wrong, he would
- have made an ass of himself&mdash;and much worse than an ass. If she were
- guilty, she might melt him into a weak forgiveness in spite of her guilt!
- No, she must not speak... not now! If she were innocent, how could he
- confess his suspicions to her and acknowledge his baseness? And besides...
- women were so damned clever... whatever was in that box, she might fool
- him about it, somehow!
- </p>
- <p>
- And then, &ldquo;Good God!&rdquo; he thought, &ldquo;I have got to the place where I hug my
- suspicion to me as a dearer thing than my love, have I? Have I got so low
- as that?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- While these thoughts raced and rioted through his mind, his lips were
- feverishly pouring out torrents in denunciation of feminine extravagance.
- Even as he spoke he felt the black injustice of his speech, for he had
- always encouraged his wife, rather than otherwise, in the expenditure of
- money; his income was a good one; and the very furs which formed the text
- of his harangue he had helped her select and even urged upon her.
- </p>
- <p>
- It was their first quarrel, if that can be called a quarrel which has only
- one side to it. For she listened in silence, with white lips and hurt
- eyes, and a face that was soon set into a semblance of hard indifference.
- He stormed out of the room, ashamed of himself, and feeling that he had
- disgraced the name of civilization.
- </p>
- <h3>
- IV
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">A</span>shamed of himself,
- indeed; but before the angel of contrition could take full possession of
- his nature, the devil of suspicion, the imp of the box, regained its
- place.
- </p>
- <p>
- For why had she not answered him? She knew he cared nothing about the
- trivial bill, the matter of the furs, he told himself. Why had she not
- insisted on a hearing, and told him about the box? She knew as well as he
- that that was what he had broken into her desk to get!
- </p>
- <p>
- Justice whispered that she had been about to speak, and that he had denied
- her the chance. But the imp of the box said that an honest woman would
- have <i>demanded</i> the chance&mdash;would have persisted until she got
- it! And thus, his very shame, and anger at himself, were cunningly turned
- and twisted by the genius of the brass-bound box into a confirmation of
- his suspicions.
- </p>
- <h3>
- V
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>uspicions? Nay,
- convictions! Beliefs. Certainties!
- </p>
- <p>
- They were certainties, now! Certainties to Clarke's mind, at least. For in
- a month after this episode he had become a silent monomaniac on the
- subject of the brass-bound box. He felt shame no longer. She was guilty.
- Of just what, he did not know. But guilty. Guilty as Hell itself, he told
- himself, rhetorically, in one of the dumb rages which now became so
- frequent with him.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;the clock on the mantelpiece
- ticked off many dragging hours of intolerable minutes to that tune, while
- Clarke lay awake and listened. <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;repeat
- any word often enough, and it will hypnotize you. <i>Guilty&mdash;guilty&mdash;guilty</i>&mdash;so
- he and the clock would talk to each other, back and forth, the whole night
- through. If any suggestions of his former, more normal habits of thought
- came to him now it was they that were laughed out of court; it was they
- that were flung away and scorned as traitors.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was guilty. But he would be crafty! He would be cunning. He would make
- no mistake. He would allow her no subterfuge. He would give her no chance
- to snare him back into a condition of half belief. There should be no
- juggling explanations. They were clever as the devil, women were! But this
- one should have no chance to fool him again. She had fooled him too long
- already.
- </p>
- <p>
- And she kept trying to fool him. Shortly after his outburst over the furs,
- she began again a series of timid advances which would have struck him as
- pathetic had he not known that her whole nature was corroded and corrupted
- with deceit, with abominable deceit. She was trying to make him believe
- that she did not know why he was angry and estranged, was she? He would
- show her! He hated her now, with that restless, burning intensity of
- hatred known only to him who has injured another. A hatred that consumed
- his own vitality, and made him sick in soul and body. The little sleep he
- got was passed in uneasy dreams of his revenge; and his waking hours were
- devoted to plots and plans of the form which it should take. Oh, but she
- had been cunning to fool him for so long; but she should see! She should
- see! When the time for action came, she should see!
- </p>
- <h3>
- VI
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">S</span>omething, one
- tense and feverish midnight, when he lay in his bed snarling and brooding
- and chuckling&mdash;a kind of snapping sense in some remote interior
- chamber of his brain, followed by a nervous shock that made him sit
- upright&mdash;warned him that the time for action was at hand. What is it
- that makes sinners, at provincial revival meetings, suddenly aware that
- the hours of dalliance are past and the great instant that shall send them
- to &ldquo;the mourners' bench&rdquo; is at hand? Somehow, they seem to know! And,
- somehow, Clarke felt an occult touch and knew that his time for action had
- arrived.
- </p>
- <p>
- He did not care what came afterwards. Any jury in the world, so he told
- himself, ought to acquit him of his deed, when they once knew his story;
- when they once looked at the damning evidence of her guilt which she had
- hidden away for so long in the brass-bound box. But if they did not acquit
- him, that was all right, too. His work in the world would have been done;
- he would have punished a guilty woman. He would have shown that all men
- are not fools.
- </p>
- <p>
- But he did not spend a great deal of thought on how other people would
- regard what he was about to do. As he crept down the hall with the knife
- in his hand, his chief sensation was a premonitory itch, a salty tang of
- pleasure in the doing of the deed itself. When hatred comes in where love
- has gone out, there may be a kind of voluptuary delight in the act of
- murder.
- </p>
- <p>
- Very carefully he opened the door of her room. And then he smiled to
- himself, and entered noisily; for what was the need of being careful about
- waking up a woman who was already dead? He did not care whether he killed
- her in her sleep or not;&mdash;indeed, if she wakened and begged for her
- life, he thought it might add a certain zest to the business. He should
- enjoy hearing her plead. He would not mind prolonging things.
- </p>
- <p>
- But things were not prolonged. His hand and the muscles of his forearm had
- tensed so often with the thought, with the idea, that the first blow went
- home. She never waked.
- </p>
- <h3>
- VII
- </h3>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">H</span>e got the box, and
- opened it.
- </p>
- <p>
- Inside was a long envelope, and written on that were the words:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;To be opened by my husband only after my death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- That time had come!
- </p>
- <p>
- Within the envelope was a letter. It was dated on the day of his return
- from his western trip, a few months before. He read:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Dick, I love you!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Does it seem strange to you that I should write it down?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Listen, Dickie dear&mdash;I <i>had</i> to write it! I couldn't tell you
- when I was alive&mdash;but I just had to tell you, too. And now that I am
- dead, what I say will come to you with all of its sweetness increased; and
- all of its bitterness left out! It will, now that I am dead&mdash;or if
- you die first, you will never see this. This is from beyond the grave to
- you, Dickie dear, to make all your life good to you afterwards!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Now, listen, dear, and don't be hard on me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When I married you, Dickie, I <i>didn't</i> love you! You were wild about
- me. But I only <i>liked</i> you very much. It wasn't really love. It
- wasn't what you <i>deserved</i>. But I was only a girl, and you were the
- first man, and I didn't know things; I didn't know what I <i>should have</i>
- felt.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Later, when I realized how very much you cared, I was ashamed of myself.
- I grew to see that I had done wrong in marrying you. Wrong to both of us.
- For no woman should marry a man she doesn't love. And I was ashamed, and
- worried about it. You were so good to me! So sweet&mdash;and you never
- suspected that I didn't care like I should. And because you were so good
- and sweet to me, I felt <i>worse</i>. And I made up my mind you should <i>never</i>
- know! That I would be everything to you any woman could be. I tried to be
- a good wife. Wasn't I, Dickie, even then?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I prayed and prayed and prayed. 'O God,' I used to say, 'let me love
- him like he loves me!' It was five years, Dickie, and I <i>liked</i> you
- more, and <i>admired</i> you more, and saw more in you that was worth
- while, every week; but still, no miracle happened.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then one morning <i>a miracle did happen!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was when you were on that trip West. I had gone to bed thinking how
- kind and dear you were. I missed you, Dickie dear, and <i>needed</i> you.
- And when I woke up, there was a change over the world. I felt so
- different, somehow. It had come! Wasn't it wonderful, Dickie?&mdash;it had
- come! And I sang all that day for joy. I could hardly wait for you to come
- home so that I could tell you. I loved you, loved you, loved you, Dickie,
- <i>as you deserved!</i> My prayers had been answered, somehow&mdash;or
- maybe it was what any woman would do just living near you and being with
- you.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And then I saw <i>I couldn't tell you, after all!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;For if I told you I loved you now, that would be to tell you that for
- five years <i>I hadn't loved you</i>, Dickie!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And how would <i>that</i> make you feel? Wouldn't that have been like a
- knife, Dickie?
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Oh, I wanted you to know! <i>How</i> I wanted you to know! But, you see,
- I couldn't tell you, could I, dear, without telling the other, too? I just
- <i>had</i> to save you from that! And I just had to make you feel it,
- somehow or other. And I <i>will</i> make you feel it, Dickie!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I can't tell you. Who knows what ideas you might get into your head
- about those five years, if I told you now? Men are so queer, and they can
- be so stupid sometimes! And I can't bear to think of losing one smallest
- bit of your love... not now! It would <i>kill</i> me!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;But I want you to know, sometime. And so I'm writing you&mdash;it's my
- first love letter&mdash;the first real one, Dickie. If <i>you</i> die
- first, I'll tell you in Heaven. And if <i>I</i> die first, you'll
- understand!
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Agnes.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0013" id="link2H_4_0013"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XII.&mdash;Behind the Curtain
- </h2>
- <p class="pfirst">
- <span class="dropcap" style="font-size: 4.00em">I</span>t was as dark as
- the belly of the fish that swallowed Jonah. A drizzling rain blanketed the
- earth in chill discomfort. As I splashed and struggled along the country
- road, now in the beaten path, and now among the wet weeds by its side, I
- had never more heartily yearned for the dullness and comforts of
- respectability. Here was I with more talents in my quiver, it pleased me
- to think, than nine out of ten of the burghers I had left sleeping snug
- and smug in the town a few miles behind; with as much real love of
- humanity as the next man, too; and yet shivering and cursing my way into
- another situation that might well mean my death. And all for what? For
- fame or riches? No, for little more than a mere existence, albeit free
- from responsibility. Indeed, I was all but ready to become an honest man
- then and there, to turn back and give up the night's adventure, had but my
- imagination furnished me with the picture of some occupation whereby I
- might gain the same leisure and independence as by what your precisians
- call thieving.
- </p>
- <p>
- With the thought I stumbled off the road again, and into a narrow gully
- that splashed me to the knees with muddy water. Out of that, I walked
- plump into a hedge, and when I sought to turn from it at right angles, I
- found myself still following its line. This circumstance showed me that I
- was come unaware upon the sharp turn of the road which marked the
- whereabouts of the house that was my object. Following the hedge, I found
- the entrance to the graveled driveway within a hundred yards of my last
- misstep, and entered the grounds. I groped about me for a space, not
- daring to show a light, until presently a blacker bulk, lifting itself out
- of the night's comprehensive blackness, indicated the house itself, to my
- left and a bit in front of me. I left the moist gravel&mdash;for there is
- nothing to be gained on an expedition of this sort by advertising the size
- and shape of your boots to a morbidly inquisitive public&mdash;and reached
- the shelter of the veranda by walking across the lawn.
- </p>
- <p>
- There, being out of eyeshot from the upper windows, I risked a gleam from
- my pocket lantern, one of those little electric affairs that are
- occasionally useful to others than night watchmen. Two long French windows
- gave on the veranda; and, as I knew, both of them opened from the
- reception hall. A bit of a way with the women is not amiss in my
- profession; and the little grayeyed Irish maid, who had told me three
- weeks before of old man Rolfe's stinginess and brutality towards the young
- wife whom he had cooped up here for the past four years, had also given
- me, bit by bit, other information more valuable than she could guess. So,
- thanks to the maid, I was aware that the safe where the Rolfe jewels were
- kept&mdash;and often a substantial bit of money as well&mdash;was situated
- in the library; which was just beyond the hall and connected with it by a
- flight of four or five steps. This safe was my objective point.
- </p>
- <p>
- The wooden window shutters were but the work of a moment; and the window
- fastenings themselves of only a few minutes more. (I flatter myself that I
- have a very coaxing way with window fasteners.) The safe itself would give
- me the devil's own trouble, I knew. It was really a job for two men, and I
- ached all over to be at it, to be safely through with it, and away, a good
- hour before sunrise.
- </p>
- <p>
- The window opened noiselessly enough, and I stepped within and set my
- little satchel full of necessary tools upon the floor. But the damp
- weather had swelled the woodwork, and as I closed the window again, though
- I pushed it ever so gently, it gave forth a noise something between a
- grunt and a squeak.
- </p>
- <p>
- And as pat as the report of a pistol to the pressure of the trigger came
- the answer&mdash;a sound of a quickly-caught breath from the warm dimness
- of the room. I made no motion; though the blood drummed desperately
- through my brain and my scalp tingled with apprehension and excitement.
- </p>
- <p>
- For ten, for twenty, for thirty seconds I stood so; and then the silence
- was broken by the unmistakable rustle of a woman's skirts. The sound came
- softly towards me through the darkness. It was my turn to let loose my
- held breath with a gasp, and in another moment I should have been through
- the window and running for it; when a woman's whisper halted me.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Is that you, Charles? And why did you not rap upon the shutter?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- So some one called Charles was expected? Then, ticked off my thoughts
- almost automatically, the lady somewhere near me in the dark might have
- her own reasons for not caring to alarm the house just then! The thought
- steadied me to action.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Shh,&rdquo; I whispered, feeling behind me for the window, and gradually
- opening it again. &ldquo;S-h-h! No, it is not Charles&rdquo;&mdash;and I put one foot
- backward across the sill. &ldquo;It is not Charles, but Charles has sent me to
- say&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Click!&mdash;went something by the window, and the room was flooded with
- sudden brilliance from a dozen electric globes. And again, click!&mdash;and
- I looked with blinking eyes at the muzzle of a cocked pistol held by the
- most beautiful, the most be-jeweled, the most determined-looking young
- woman it has ever been my lot to meet.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; she asked in a voice that was at once hoarse and sweet.
- &ldquo;Who are you? And what do you want? And where is Charles?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- As I stood there dripping moisture upon the oiled floor, with my hands in
- the air&mdash;they had gone up quite involuntarily&mdash;I must have been
- the very picture of idiocy and discomfiture. I wondered if Charles,
- whoever the devil Charles might be, was always welcomed with a cocked
- pistol. Probably not; but, I wondered, how did she happen to have a pistol
- with her? I wondered why neck, breast, hair, arms, and hands should be
- ablaze with the diamonds that accentuated her lithe and vivid loveliness.
- I wondered why, now that she saw I was not Charles, she did not alarm the
- house. I wondered everything; but nothing to the point. And as I stood
- wondering she repeated:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Who are you? And what do you want?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Madame,&rdquo; I stammered, my jarred brain fastening upon the sentence she had
- interrupted, &ldquo;Charles sent me to&mdash;to say to you&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles who?&rdquo; she asked. And as tense as was her face, a gleam of
- merriment shot through her eyes. &ldquo;Charles who?&rdquo; she repeated.
- </p>
- <p>
- Charles was not one of the points upon which the Irish maid had given me
- information.
- </p>
- <p>
- The lady with the pistol considered for a moment. &ldquo;You are not very
- clever, are you?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;If you will pardon me,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I think I had better be going. I seem to
- have mistaken the house.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You at least seem to have mistaken the proper manner in which to enter
- it,&rdquo; she returned.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, as to the mode of entrance,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I might plead that the mistake
- appears to have been less in that than in the person who employed it.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I could not resist the retort. A dull red crept slowly up her neck and
- face; a pallid, olive-tinted face, beautiful in itself, beautiful for its
- oval contour and broad brow, and frame of black hair; beautiful in itself,
- and yet dominated and outdone by the lustrous, restless beauty of the dark
- eyes wherewith she held me more surely captive than by virtue of the
- pistol.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You will come in,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;and sit there.&rdquo; She indicated a seat beside
- a central table. &ldquo;But first you will kindly let me have whatever weapons
- you may possess.&rdquo; She took my revolver, examined it, and put her own in
- the breast of her gown. &ldquo;Now you may put your hands down,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;your
- arms must ache by now. Sit down.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I sat. She stood and looked at me for a moment.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am wondering what you are going to do with me,&rdquo; I ventured.
- </p>
- <p>
- In all of her quick actions, and in the tones of her voice, there was
- evident a most unnatural sort of strain. She may well have been excited;
- that was only to be expected in the circumstances. But the repressed
- excitement in this woman's manner was not that of a woman who is forcing
- herself to keep her courage up; not that of a woman who would like to
- scream; but a steadier nervous energy which seemed to burn in her like a
- fire, to escape from her finger tips, and almost to crackle in her hair;
- an intensity that was vibrant. I marveled. Most women would have screamed
- at the advent of a man in the dead of night; screamed and fainted. Or the
- ones who would not, and who were armed as she, would ordinarily have been
- inclined to shoot, and at once; or immediately to have given the alarm.
- She had done none of these things. She had merely taken me captive. She
- had set me down in a chair at the center of the room. She had not roused
- the house. And now she stood looking at me with a trace of abstraction in
- her manner; looking at me, for the moment, less as if I were a human being
- than as if I were a factor in some mathematical problem which it was the
- immediate task of that active, high-keyed brain of hers to solve. And
- there was a measure of irony in her glance, as if she alone tasted and
- enjoyed some ulterior jest.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I am wondering,&rdquo; I repeated, &ldquo;what you are going to do with me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She sat down at the opposite side of the table before she replied.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I believe,&rdquo; she said slowly, &ldquo;that I have nearly made up my mind what to
- do with you.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; I asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- But she said nothing, and continued to say nothing. I looked at her and
- her diamonds&mdash;the diamonds I had come after!&mdash;and wondered again
- why she was wearing them; wondered why she had tricked herself out as for
- some grand entertainment. And as the ignominious result of my night's
- expedition pressed more sharply against my pride I could have strangled
- her through sheer disappointment and mortification. The pistol she held
- was the answer to that impulse. But what was the answer to her hesitancy
- in alarming the house? Why did she not give me up and be done with me?
- </p>
- <p>
- At the farther end of the room was a long red curtain, which covered the
- entrance to a sitting-room or parlor, as I guessed; and by the side of the
- curtain hung an old-fashioned bell cord, also of red, which I supposed to
- communicate with the servants' quarters. It were easy enough, now that she
- had taken the whip hand of me so cleverly, to pull that rope, to set the
- bell jangling, to rouse the house. Why did she not do so?
- </p>
- <p>
- Was she a mad woman? There was that in her inexplicable conduct, and in
- her highly-wrought, yet governed, mood, as she sat in brooding silence
- across the table from me, to make the theory plausible. Brooding she was,
- and studying me, I thought; yet watchful, too. For at any least motion of
- mine her hand tightened slightly upon the pistol. We sat thus while the
- slow seconds lengthened into intolerable minutes; and I steamed with
- sweat, and fidgeted. Nor was I set more at my ease by her long searching
- glances. In fact, my overthrow had been so instant and so complete that my
- scattered wits had never drawn themselves together again; I continued as
- one in a haze; as a person half under the power of the hypnotist; as a
- mouse must feel after the first blow of the cat's paw. And yet one idea
- began to loom clearly out of that haze and possess me&mdash;the idea that
- she desired the alarm to be given as little as I did myself.
- </p>
- <p>
- But there was no light in that. It was easy to understand why she did not
- wish the house aroused while she still believed me to be Charles&mdash;whoever
- Charles might be. But now?&mdash;it was too much for me. I could not find
- a justification in reason for my belief; and yet the conviction grew.
- </p>
- <p>
- She broke the silence with a question that might have been put with full
- knowledge of my thought.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You are still wondering why I do not give you up?&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- I nodded. She leaned towards me across the table, and if ever the demons
- of mockery danced through a woman's eyes it was then; and her lips parted
- in a kind of silent laughter.
- </p>
- <p>
- She touched the diamonds about her throat.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;It was these you came after?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I nodded again. Evidently speech was of no avail with this lady. She asked
- questions at her will, and reserved the right of answering none.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;Why are you a thief? Why do you steal?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;'Convey, the wise it call,'&rdquo; I quoted. &ldquo;Accident, or fate, or destiny, I
- suppose,&rdquo; I went on, wondering more than ever at the question, but with a
- fluttering hope. Perhaps the lady (in spite of Charles&mdash;such things
- have been!) was an amateur sociologist, a crank reformer, or something of
- that sort. There had been no mockery in her tone when she asked the
- question; instead, I thought, a kind of pity. &ldquo;Fate, or destiny,&rdquo; I went
- on, &ldquo;or what you please, 'There is a destiny that shapes our ends,
- rough-hew them how we will,'&rdquo; I quoted again, in my best actor manner.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you are a man with some air of better things about you.
- You quote Shakespeare as if he were an old friend. And yet, you are a
- thief! Tell me,&rdquo; she continued, &ldquo;tell me&mdash;I dare say there were many
- struggles against that destiny?&rdquo; There was a note almost of eagerness in
- her voice, as if she were a leniently-inclined judge who would fain search
- out and put in the mouth of a condemned man some plausible plea for the
- exercise of clemency. &ldquo;Come&mdash;were there not?&mdash;I dare say there
- were&mdash;circumstances of uncommon bitterness that forced you to become
- what I see you? And even now you hate the thing you are?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, as to that,&rdquo; I said, possessed of the sudden whim to be honest with
- myself for once, &ldquo;I am afraid that I can complain of no bitterer usage at
- the hands of the world than can the majority of those who reap where they
- have not sowed. When I think of it all, I am used to putting it to myself
- that my life is devoted to a kind of private warfare against the unjust
- conditions of a hypocritical social order.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Warfare!&rdquo; she flouted, hard and brilliant as one of her own diamonds
- again. &ldquo;And you could justify it, too, could you not?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then she asked me: &ldquo;Have you ever killed a man?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why, no,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;but I have tried to.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;He lived?&mdash;and you were sorry that he lived?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, quite out of my depths in all this moral quibbling, &ldquo;I was
- glad he lived.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet you hated him?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I would have taken his life in a rage,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;He had wronged me as
- greatly as one man can wrong another.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;And yet you were glad he lived? My dear thief&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Higgins is the name,&rdquo; said I. &ldquo;You may call me Higgins.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My dear Higgins,&rdquo; she went on, &ldquo;you are inconsistent. You attempt to slay
- a man in what I should judge to have been a not ignoble passion. It may
- have been an anger that did you credit. And yet you are not bold enough to
- face the thought of killing him. You are glib with justifications of your
- thievery; and perhaps that is also because you are too much of a coward to
- look steadily at it. You creep along a mean and despicable path in life,
- contentedly, it seems to me, with a dead soul. You are what you are
- because there is nothing positive in you for either good or evil. You are
- negative; you were better dead. Yes, better dead!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Why should I have felt as if she were seeking self-justification in
- advance for some death she planned for me? Certainly, my life, or death,
- was not hers to give or take; she might give me up, and probably would.
- But just as certainly she had made me feel, as she passed her judgment
- upon me, that she was likely to turn executioner as well as judge. My
- doubts as to her sanity returned.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Still,&rdquo; I said, for the sake of saying something, &ldquo;if I killed a man, I
- should not like to think about it, even if he deserved death.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Even if he deserved death?&rdquo; she repeated, and sprang up, as if the phrase
- had touched her. &ldquo;You make yourself the judge, you do, of when a man
- 'deserves' to lose his wealth. Come, what is your idea of when he deserves
- to die?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Up and down the room she swept; yet still watchful. And the emotion which
- she had so long suppressed burst out into a poisonous lovely bloom that
- suffused her being with an awful beauty.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;When does he deserve to die?&rdquo; she repeated. &ldquo;Listen to me. I knew a woman
- once&mdash;no matter where&mdash;no matter when&mdash;who was sold&mdash;sold!
- I say&mdash;by the sordid devil she called her father, to the veriest
- beast that ever trod this earth. Her beauty&mdash;for she had beauty&mdash;her
- wit&mdash;for wit she had&mdash;became this husband's chattels before she
- turned her twentieth year. She would never have loved him, but she would
- have been faithful to him&mdash;she was faithful to him, in fact, in spite
- of all his drunkenness and bestiality&mdash;and abuse! It was not neglect
- alone that she had to complain of&mdash;she had never looked for
- understanding or sympathy. But she had not looked for abuse. Abuse, I say,
- and worse than abuse. Before she had been married a year she knew what it
- was, not only to feel the weight of a heavy hand and to hide the bruises
- from her maid, but to see other women brought into her very house. Pah!&mdash;hate?
- She hated him? Hate is not the word. She became a live coal. But she never
- cried out; she found strength to smile at him even when he beat her; she
- was proud enough for that. It pleased him, in his hellish humor, and
- because she was made to shine, to cage her in a country house, and there
- to taunt her that although she was sold to him she got little of what
- money may buy. And still she smiled at him, and still her hatred grew
- through all the weeks and months until it filled her whole being. And then&mdash;love
- came. For God has ordained that love may enter even Hell. Love, I say; and
- she loved this lover of hers with a passion that was measured only by the
- degree in which she hated her husband. And she would have left with him;
- but on the very night they would have flown together her lord and master&mdash;&mdash;-&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She said the words with an indescribable spluttering sneer, sidewise from
- her mouth. It is so a lioness may snarl and spit before she leaps.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Her&mdash;lord and master&mdash;found it out, and waited up to catch
- them; and coming upon her alone, taunted her. Taunted her, and struck her&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Look!&rdquo; she cried, and tore the diamonds from her breast, and rent the
- laces, and wrenched the fastenings apart. A new red weal that seemed to
- throb and pulse with her respiration stood out from the whiteness of her
- bosom.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Tell me,&rdquo; she whispered hoarsely, &ldquo;would it have been murder if she had
- killed that man? Which were the more courageous thing&mdash;to kill him,
- or to step back into her living hell? If she had killed him, would she
- have regretted it?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I know not what I might have answered; but at that instant three raps
- sounded distinctly upon the window-shutter. I leaped to my feet. Then
- Charles had come!
- </p>
- <p>
- An instant she stood as if stricken to a statue in mid-rage.
- </p>
- <p>
- And then she cried out, and there was a furious triumph in her voice&mdash;a
- kind of joy that matched itself to, and blended with, the fierce and
- reckless beauty of her shaken jewels, possessed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles,&rdquo; she cried, &ldquo;come in! Come in!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- Slowly the window opened and a man entered. He drew back in amaze at the
- sight of me, and turned to her with an air that was all one question.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I thought you would never come,&rdquo; she said.
- </p>
- <p>
- He was a big blond man, and as he turned from the one to the other of us,
- with his helpless, inquiring face, and eyes that blinked from the outer
- darkness, he looked oddly like a sleepy schoolboy who has been awakened
- from an afternoon nap by the teacher's ruler.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Katherine,&rdquo; he finally stammered, &ldquo;what is this? Who is this man?&rdquo; He
- passed his hand across his forehead as one may do who doubts whether or
- not he dreams; and walked towards the table.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Charles,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;I have shot the old man.&rdquo; I have seen a beef
- stricken on the head with a mallet look at its executioner with big eyes
- for an instant before the quivering in its limbs set in and it sank to the
- ground. So this Charles looked with wide, stupid eyes, and shivered, and
- dropped the great bulk of him into a chair. His head sank upon his hand.
- But finally he looked up, and spoke in a confused voice, as if through a
- mist. &ldquo;Good God, Katherine, what do you mean?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; she said, framing the words slowly, as one speaks a lesson to a
- child, &ldquo;I mean that I have killed the old man.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And moving swiftly across the room she flung back the heavy red curtain at
- the end of it; and I saw the answer to my many questionings.
- </p>
- <p>
- The body lay upon its back, with one arm bent, the hand across the chest,
- and the fingers spread wide. The face was that of a man of sixty or
- thereabouts, but, indeed, so deeply lined and wrinkled and pouched with
- evil living that the age even in life must have been hard to determine.
- Blood was coagulating about a bullet wound in the temple, and there were
- powder burns on the forehead. The shot had been fired at close range,
- evidently from the weapon with which I had been confronted on my entrance;
- and the sound had been so muffled in the curtain that it was little wonder
- that the servants in the rooms above, and across the house, had not heard
- it. He had a monstrous nose, that man upon the floor, and it must have
- been a red nose in life; but now it was of a bluish-white color, like the
- skin of an old and scrawny fowl. That, and the thin, drawn-up legs, and
- the big flabby paunch of the thing, robbed the sight, for me, of all the
- solemnity which (we are taught) exudes from the presence of death. It made
- me sick; and yet I cackled with sheer hysteria, too; or rather my strained
- nerves jarred and laughed, if not myself. It was too damned grotesque.
- </p>
- <p>
- Herself, she did not look at it. She looked at the man called Charles; and
- he, with a shudder, lifted his slow gaze from the thing behind the curtain
- to her face.
- </p>
- <p>
- She was the first to speak, and the terrible joy with which she had bade
- Charles to enter still dominated her accents.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Don't you understand, Charles? This man,&rdquo; and she indicated me with the
- pistol, &ldquo;this man takes the blame of this. He is a thief. He came just
- after&mdash;just afterwards. And I held him for your coming. Don't you
- see? Don't you see? His presence clears us of this deed!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;<i>Us?</i>&rdquo; queried Charles.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Not <i>us?</i>&rdquo; she asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;My God, Katherine,&rdquo; he burst forth, &ldquo;why did you do this thing? And you
- would heap murder on murder! Why, why, why did you do it? Why splash this
- blood upon our love? A useless thing to do! We might have&mdash;we might
- have&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- He broke down and sobbed. And then: &ldquo;God knows the old man never did me
- any harm,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;And she'd accuse the thief, too!&rdquo; he cried a moment
- later, with a kind of wondering horror.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Listen, Charles,&rdquo; she said, and moved towards him; and yet with a
- sidelong glance she still took heed of me. &ldquo;Listen, and understand me. We
- must act quickly&mdash;but after it happened it was necessary that I
- should see you before we could act. This man came to rob; here is his
- pistol, and in that satchel by the window are his tools, no doubt. He may
- tell what wild tale he will; but who will believe him? You go as you came;
- I give him up&mdash;and we&mdash;we wait awhile, and then the rest of life
- is ours.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- I suppose that it is given to few men to hear their death plotted in their
- presence. But I had come to the pass by this time where it struck me as an
- impersonal thing. I listened; but somehow the full sense of what she said,
- as affecting me, did not then impinge upon my brain with waking force. I
- stood as if in a trance; I stood and looked on at those two contending
- personalities, that were concerned just now with the question of my life
- or death, as if I were a spectator in a theater&mdash;as if it were
- someone else of whom they spoke.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Go,&rdquo; she cried to Charles again, &ldquo;and I will give him up.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Katherine,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;and you would do this thing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Why?&rdquo; she retorted, &ldquo;what is this man's life beside mine? His soul is
- dead! I tell you, Charles, that I have come through Hell alive to gain one
- ray of happiness! But go!&mdash;and leave the rest to me.&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And she grasped the bell cord and pulled it. Pulled it again and again.
- The sound wandered crazily through what remote corridors I know not.
- </p>
- <p>
- She made a step towards him. He leaped to his feet with an oath, with
- loathing in his eyes, shrank back from her, and held out a hand as if to
- ward off some unclean thing.
- </p>
- <p>
- Bewilderment lined her face. She groped to understand. And then, as the
- full significance of his gesture came home to her, she winced and swayed
- as if from a blow; and the pistol dropped from her loosened grasp to the
- floor.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You&mdash;you abandon me?&rdquo; she said slowly. &ldquo;You desert me, then? Love,
- Love, think how I have loved you that I did this thing! And is what I have
- suffered&mdash;what I have done&mdash;still to purchase&mdash;nothing?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- She pleaded for my death; but I hope that I shall never again see on any
- human face the look of despair that was on hers. I pitied her!
- </p>
- <p>
- Heavy feet on the stairway woke me from my trance. Unregarded of them both
- I grasped my pistol from the floor and sprang for the window. A door
- opened somewhere above, and a voice asked:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You rang, Ma'am?&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- From without the window I looked back into the room. She stood with
- outstretched hands&mdash;hands that reached upward from the pit of
- torment, my fancy told me&mdash;and pleaded for a little love. &ldquo;In all
- this world is there no little ray of love for me?&rdquo;&mdash;it was so my
- imagination rather than my hearing translated the slight movement of her
- lips. And while she and the man called Charles stood thus at gaze with one
- another, the servant spoke again from the stairway.
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;You rang?&rdquo; he asked.
- </p>
- <p>
- She slowly straightened. She steadied herself. And with her eyes still
- fixed upon those of Charles she cried:
- </p>
- <p>
- &ldquo;Yes, yes, I rang, Jones! Your master is&mdash;dead. Your master's
- murdered! And there, there,&rdquo; and she stabbed an accusing finger at her
- erstwhile lover, &ldquo;there is the man who murdered him!&rdquo;
- </p>
- <p>
- And then I turned from the window and ran from that house; and as I ran I
- saw the Dawn, like a wild, fair woman, walk up the eastern sky with
- blood-stained feet.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><br />
- </p>
- <hr />
- <p>
- <a name="link2H_4_0014" id="link2H_4_0014"> </a>
- </p>
- <div style="height: 4em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
- <h2>
- XIII.&mdash;Words and Thoughts
- </h2>
- <h3>
- [A Play in One Act]
- </h3>
- <p>
- Characters:
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny Hemlock
- </p>
- <p>
- John Speaker
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary Speaker
- </p>
- <p>
- John Thinker
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary Thinker
- </p>
- <p>
- Maid
- </p>
- <p>
- Period, the present. Place, any American city.
- </p>
- <p>
- The Scene <i>represents two drawing rooms, exact duplicates, furnished
- alike to the smallest detail. Either room might be the reflection of the
- other in a mirror. Each occupies half of the stage. The division line
- between them is indicated, towards the hack of the stage, by two pianos,
- which sit hack to back at the center of the hack drop. This division is
- carried by the pianos a quarter or a third of the way towards the
- footlights. The division is further suggested, towards the front of the
- stage, hy a couple of settees or couches, which also sit back to back.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- John Speaker and Mary Speaker <i>remain all the time in the room at the
- right of the stage. They are not aware of</i> John Thinker <i>and</i> Mary
- Thinker, <i>who are, throughout the play, in the room at the left. The</i>
- Thinkers, <i>however, are aware of the</i> Speakers.
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>In make-up, looks, dress, etc., the two</i>Johns <i>are precisely
- alike. The same is true of</i> Mary Speaker and Mary Thinker. <i>The</i>
- Johns <i>are conventional-looking, prosperous Americans of from 38 to 40
- years of age. The two</i> Marys <i>are a few years younger.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny Hemlock <i>is a dried-up, querulous old woman of seventy.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>The Curtain, on rising, discovers the two</i> Johns <i>and the two</i>
- Marys. <i>It is between 7 and 8 in the evening; they are all in evening
- dress, and are preparing to go out, putting on their gloves, etc., etc.</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Picking up over coat.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Are you ready, Mary dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Holding out a gloved hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Quite, John dear. Button this for me, won't you, love?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Busy with glove.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- It's been nearly a year, hasn't it, since we've been out together of an
- evening? I'm afraid Cousin Fanny is terribly trying on you at times, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You know, John, I don't consider her a trial. I <i>love</i> Cousin Fanny.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Busy with Mary Thinker's glove.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- The old cat's letting us off to-night, for a wonder, Mary. She's a
- horrible affliction!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>Passionately.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Affliction is no word. She makes my life a living hell! I hate her!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Helping <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> on with coat, which action is
- simultaneously imitated hy John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, we must bear with her gently, Mary. I am afraid poor Cousin Fanny
- will not be with us many more years.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- One comfort is she'll die before long!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Oh, John, you don't think Cousin Fanny's going to die, do you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Thinker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't fool yourself about her dying soon, John. There's no such luck!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Enter Maid through door in right back to John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>,
- who look up. John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> also notice entrance of
- Maid and listen.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Miss Hemlock sent me to inquire whether you were going out to-night.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, quickly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- The old cat's up to something!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To Maid</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes. We were just starting. Does Miss Hemlock want anything? I will go to
- her if she wishes to speak with me.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She said, in case you were going out, that I was to tell you <i>not</i> to
- do so.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <i>Not</i> to do so?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, ma'am; that's what she said. She said in case you were getting ready
- to go out, you were to change your plans and stop at home.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To Maid.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Not to do so? But, surely, there must be some mistake!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Maid shakes her head slowly, deliberately, looking fixedly at John
- Speaker; and while she is doing so <br /><b>John Thinker</b> says to <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b></i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Some malicious idea is working in her head tonight!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Maid</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- No, sir, no mistake. She said very plainly and distinctly that you were
- not to go out tonight.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Maid bows and exits.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is not so well to-night, I'm afraid, dear, or she would
- certainly have put her request in some other way.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I didn't love Cousin Fanny, John, I would be tempted to believe that
- she deliberately tries at times to annoy us.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is old, and we must remember that she is very fond of us. We
- will have to bear with her.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> takes his top coat and his wife's coat> and
- lays them on a chair, while <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, who has been
- frowning and brooding, flings himself into chair and says to <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b></i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- For cold-blooded, devilish nerve in a man's own house, Cousin Fanny
- certainly takes the cake, Mary!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She gets more spiteful every day. She knows her power, and the more
- childish she gets the more delight she takes in playing tyrant.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Cheer up, it isn't forever! If she doesn't change her will before she
- dies, it means fifteen thousand dollars a year. That's worth a little
- trouble!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You're away at your office all day. I'm here at home with her. It is I who
- catch all the trouble!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, after all, she's more nearly related to you, Mary, than she is to
- me.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's my mother's third cousin, if you call <i>that</i> near!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, then, she's my father's fifth cousin, if you call <i>that</i> near!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- What were you thinking of, John, dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nothing... nothing, Mary... except that
- </p>
- <p>
- Cousin Fanny is a poor, lonely old soul, after all.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Poor, lonely old woman, indeed&mdash;it's odd, isn't it, that she is
- related to both you and me, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's closer to you than to me, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You couldn't call a fourth or fifth cousin very near, John.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It almost seems as if you were trying to deny the blood tie, Mary!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- No, John, dear, blood is thicker than water.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> Thicker than water!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Relations are the most unpleasant persons on earth. I hate cousins.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Especially cousins who are also cousins-in-law! <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But even if she were only <i>my</i> relation, Mary, and not related to <i>you</i>
- at all, I know enough of your sweet nature to know that she would always
- be welcome in our home in spite of her little idiosyncrasies.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Enter Cousin Fanny, to John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, through door
- right hack. She coughs as she steps forward, leaning on a cane, and puts
- her hand to her chest, stop-ping. Then as she comes forward, she stumbles.
- John and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> leap forward, put their arms behind her,
- and, supporting and leading her, conduct her tenderly down stage to chair
- at center of room they are in. John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>, near
- together at table in their room, lean forward eagerly and watch this
- entrance, and when the old woman stumbles, <br /><b>John Thinker</b> says
- to <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>, nudging her:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You see?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- See what?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She totters!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She stumbled.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's getting weaker.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> tenderly kisses Cousin Fanny, as <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b> says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Weaker! She'll live to be a hundred and ten!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Not she!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- The mean kind always do!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Tenderly, to Cousin Fanny, arranging cushion behind her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Can't I get you a wrap, Cousin Fanny?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't you feel a draught, Cousin Fanny?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Bitterly, frowning at other group</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- No draught will ever harm her!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>, sneeringly; petulantly.</i>] You're
- mighty anxious about a <i>wrap</i>, John! But you were thinking of going
- out and leaving me practically alone in the house.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Deprecatingly.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- But, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Interrupting</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't deny it! Don't take the trouble to deny it! Don't lie about it! You
- can't lie to me! Don't I see your evening clothes? And Mary, too! Both of
- you were going out&mdash;<i>both</i> of you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, we gave it up when we learned that you wanted us
- to stop at home with you. Didn't we, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Querulously, childishly, shrilly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't deny it, Mary, don't deny it! Don't excuse yourself! I can see you
- were going out! I can see your evening clothes!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- We'll go and change to something else, won't we, John?
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She is going, as she speaks, but <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> cries out</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> stops, and <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> continues</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- Don't take them off. I don't want you to take them off. What do you want
- to take them off for? Are they too good for <i>me</i> to see? Are they too
- grand for me to look at? Ain't I as good as any one you'd find if you went
- out? Heh?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, I didn't mean that. I meant&mdash;&mdash;
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Interrupting.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I know what you meant! Don't tell me what you meant, Mary. You meant to
- slip out and leave me here alone, both of you. It's lucky I caught you in
- time. It's lucky I have money! It's lucky I don't have to put up with the
- treatment most old folks get. I'd starve, if I were poor! I'd die of
- hunger and neglect!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She begins to cry, and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> No, no, no, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> soothes her, in pantomime, and pets her,
- trying to take her hands away from her face, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- resisting, like a spoiled and spiteful child. <br /><b>John Speaker</b>,
- behind <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> and his wife, walks up and down, with his
- eyes on them, running his hand nervously and excitedly through his hair.
- While this pantomime goes on, John and Mary Thinker are watching and
- saying </i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- This is to be one of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s pleasant evenings!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- This happens a dozen times a day.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> She's not really crying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Pretence! She works it up to be unpleasant.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> The old she-devil!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You know, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, that we try to do our duty by you.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Flinging his hand off.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You try to do your duty by my money! I know!
- </p>
- <p>
- I see! You talk of love and duty, but it's my money you want! But I may
- fool you&mdash;I may fool you yet. It's not too late to change my will.
- It's not too late to leave it all to charity!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She speaks these lines with a cunning leer, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>,
- nudging <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> and pointing to her, says:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> The old cat is capable of it, too!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- If you should leave your money to charity, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you
- would find it made no difference with us. You know blood is thicker than
- water, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Shrewdly, maliciously</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- So is sticky flypaper!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, you don't doubt the genuineness of our affection, do you,
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>? You've known me from my boyhood, <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b>, and you've lived with us for ten years. You ought to know us by
- this time! You ought to know us in ten years!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> Ten years of torture!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> It can't last much longer!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Who has taken her hand again, and has been patting it as a
- continuation of his last speech, and looking at her fondly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You trust us, don't you, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>? You really are sure of
- our affection, aren't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b>. She shows that she really is willing to
- be convinced; she searches their faces wistfully; she is pathetically
- eager.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- John, John, you really <i>do</i> care for me, don't you? [<i>She takes a
- hand of each.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- It isn't <i>all</i> on account of my money, is it? If you knew I hadn't a
- cent, you'd still be good to me, wouldn't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Together.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, yes, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I lost it all; if I told you I'd lost it all, you'd be just the same,
- wouldn't you?
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> exchange glances
- over her head, and John Speaker drops her hand, while <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- grabs <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> excitedly by the arm and says quickly</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- My God, you don't suppose she's really <i>lost</i> it, do you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- No! This is just one of her cunning spells now. She can be as crafty as a
- witch.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I hadn't a cent you'd still care for me, wouldn't you, Mary?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Why, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you know I would!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But I'm hard on you at times. I'm unjust. I don't mean to be spiteful, but
- I <i>am</i> spiteful. When we get old we get suspicious of people. We get
- suspicious of everybody. And suspicion makes us spiteful and unjust. I
- know I'm not easy to live with, Mary.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Kissing <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You get such strange notions, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- And such true ones, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Tell me the truth, Mary. You find me a trial, Mary. You and John find me a
- trial!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> and <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- Never, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> and <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>Together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- Always, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> And that is the truth?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>, <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> [<i>All together.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- And that is the truth, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You don't know how suspicious one gets!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Petting her</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- But suspicion never stays long in your good heart, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.
- There's no room for it there, I know. But don't you think you'd better go
- to bed now? Let me call the maid.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rousing up in chair; suspicion and meanness all awake again</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- To bed? Why to bed? Why do you want to pack me off to bed? I know! I know
- why! You want me to go to bed so you two can talk about me. So you can
- talk me over! So you can speculate on how long I will live. I know you! I
- know what you talk about when I'm not around! I know what you've been
- waiting and hoping for the last ten years!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Begins to cry.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, you won't have long to wait now. The time's almost come! I feel it's
- almost here. You'll get the money soon enough!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Soothing her</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- There, there, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, don't go on like this!
- </p>
- <p>
- You know it isn't true&mdash;you know you'll live ten years yet!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> runs his hands through his hair and looks
- silently at <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>, with
- the same gesture, says to Mary Thinker</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If I thought she'd live ten years yet&mdash;&mdash;!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Pauses.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, if you thought she'd live ten years yet&mdash;&mdash;?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> [<i>With a gesture of de pair.</i> ]
- </p>
- <p>
- My God&mdash;ten years like the last ten years! Ten years! Talk about
- earning money! If it hasn't been earned ten times over!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Fiercely.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- You see it mornings and evenings. I have it all day long, and every day.
- I've had it for ten years. I go nowhere, I see no one. I have no
- pleasures. I have no friends; I've lost my friends. I'm losing my youth.
- I'm losing my looks. I'm losing my very soul. I'm shedding my life's blood
- drop by drop to keep that querulous fool alive&mdash;just merely alive!
- I'm tired of it! I'm sick of it! I'm desperate! I'm dying from her, I tell
- you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Still soothing <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, but speaking with one hand
- nervously clutching her own head as she does so</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>&mdash;you'd better go to bed now!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I won't go to bed yet! I want my medicine. It's time for my medicine now.
- I won't go to bed till I've had my sleeping tablets.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Where are they, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- On top of the bookcase there. The small phial. [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- goes to the bookcase and begins to rummage for phial, while <br /><b>John
- Thinker</b> says, meditatively</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I suppose if one ever gave her the wrong medicine by mistake it would be
- called by some ugly name!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- People like her never get the wrong medicine given to them, and never take
- it by mistake themselves.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Finding bottle; examining it</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- See here, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, didn't you have one of these about an
- hour ago? Didn't I see you take one of them right after dinner?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Peevishly.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't know. I don't remember. I want one now, anyhow. My nerves are on
- the jump. You have got all my nerves on the jump. I'll take one, and nap
- here in the chair.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- She took one about an hour ago. I don't think it's quite right to let her
- have another so soon. They have a powerful depressing effect on the heart.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Let me see which ones they are.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i><br /><b>John Speaker</b> holds the bottle out towards <br /><b>Mary
- Speaker</b>, in front of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>. <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- snatches it with a sudden motion, and laughs childishly. <br /><b>John
- Speaker</b> and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> look at each other inquiringly
- over her head.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She really shouldn't have another one now, I'm afraid, dear. It might be
- pretty serious. [<i>To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You <i>did</i> take one right after dinner, didn't you, <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b>?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Hugging bottle to her very excitedly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- No! No! I tell you I didn't! I <i>will</i> take one! You don't want me to
- get to sleep! You don't want me to get any rest! You want me to die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> I <i>know</i> that she <i>did</i> have one.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>To <br /><b>John Speaker</b></i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- What can you do, dear?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking hold of <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>'s hands, and trying to take
- phial gently</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- See here, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you must be reasonable... you mustn't
- be stubborn about this. You can't have another tablet now. It's dangerous.
- It might even kill you!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It <i>would</i> kill her as certainly as she sits there. <br /><b>John
- Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Come, come, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>... it might be dangerous.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- John, don't struggle with her! Don't you know if you struggle with her it
- is likely to prove fatal? The doctor says the <i>least</i> strain will
- prove fatal.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Whimpering and struggling.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Let me have it! Let me alone! Let go of my hands! You want to kill me! You
- want me to die so you can get my money!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [<i>Releasing her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- No! No! No! <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>... Come, be reasonable!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>He reaches for her hands again, and she grabs his hand and bites it.
- He draws back and says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- Damn!
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Nurses his hand.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Did she bite you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Nurses his hand, and <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> examines it, while <br /><b>Cousin
- Fanny</b> pulls cork from phial with teeth, and <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- says</i>:]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- The old viper has teeth yet!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She is a cat... she is a she-devil... she is a witch... she has a bad
- heart....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>To <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>, pointing to <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, who
- is shaking tablet out of bottle; she drops one and gropes for it, and
- shakes another more carefully, with air of childish triumph.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary, what <i>can</i> I do? She <i>will</i> have it! And if I struggle
- with her it will kill her! She is too weak to struggle! It will kill her
- to struggle! And if I let her take the tablet it may do her harm!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Perhaps the tablet won't do her any harm, John.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- It will kill her as surely as she sits there. I know it will and <i>you</i>
- know it will.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Maybe it won't hurt her, Mary... but we can never tell.... I'm afraid...
- I'm afraid it really <i>might</i> harm her....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Putting tablet into her mouth</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- There! I'm going to sleep, now.... I'm going to sleep in spite of you. You
- hate me&mdash;both of you hate me&mdash;but you can't prevent me going to
- sleep!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She's taken it, John. Do you suppose she really <i>did</i> have one
- before?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b> [To <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>, you <i>didn't</i> have one before, did you?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She has closed her eyes; she opens them and rocks back and forth,
- laughing foolishly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Taking out handkerchief; mopping fore-head</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't believe she did. She says she did, but she doesn't know.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> [<i>Rocking and laughing sillily.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, I did! You know I did!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She doesn't know.... She doesn't know whether she did or not.... She
- hasn't really been right in her mind for a long time. I don't think she
- had one before.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>As he speaks <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> ceases rocking and leans hack in
- her chair, closing her eyes. From this time on the two Johns and the two
- Marys stare at her intently, never taking their eyes off of her while they
- speak.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She <i>did</i> have one before.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I <i>know</i> she did.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Will she die? Will I see her die? I should hate to see her die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She <i>would</i> have that tablet... she WOULD have it. If I had taken it
- away from her by force it would have killed her; the struggle would have
- killed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Will I see her die? Will she die?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I let her have it to save her life... it was to save her life that I quit
- struggling with her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- If she dies... but <i>will</i> she die?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She will die!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rousing from her lethargy slightly; open-ing her eyes.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- John... Mary.... You really love me, don't you? Don't you? You really...
- really...
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Sinks back, with head slightly on one side and eyes closed again; does
- not move after this.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>They all speak with lowered voices now.</i>] She is asleep. She really
- needed the tablet. It was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and
- overwrought, and it has put her to sleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Yes, it was a mercy she got it. She was nervous and overwrought, and it
- has put her to sleep.
- </p>
- <p>
- ... And you know, Mary, she <i>would</i> have t... if I had <i>struggled</i>
- with her, she would have <i>died!</i> A struggle would have killed her.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- And now she will die because there was no struggle.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She will die.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Is she breathing quite naturally, Mary?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Quite. Quite naturally.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> <i>Death</i> is quite natural.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> And she is dying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Well, if she had struggled and died... if she had died through any fault
- of mine... I would always have reproached myself....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- You have nothing to reproach yourself for. You need never reproach
- yourself with regard to her....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She was old. She was very old. She will be better dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> She is not quite dead.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- I don't like the way she is breathing.... She is scarcely breathing....
- She doesn't seem to be breathing at all!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> Old people breathe very quietly.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b> Old people die very quietly.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> And she is dying.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- She is dead!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary... Mary... is she breathing at all? <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Call the maid.... Send for the doctor.... Call the maid!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b> It is too late for any doctor.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Too late!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Mary, Mary.... My God... she can't be <i>dead!</i>
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> [<i>Bending above her.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- John, dear... try to bear it bravely... but... but I'm afraid she is....
- Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> has left us!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Rapidly</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.... Poor <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>.... Poor
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Fifteen thousand a year... fifteen thousand a year.... Why do I think of
- that?... But I can't help it.... I can't help thinking of it....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b> I'll go get the maid.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Going</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop.... Wait, Mary.... Don't call her yet... get her presently.... I
- don't want to be alone just now.... I'm in a kind of fog....
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Lights go out as he says this; he continues in the darkness.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- I'm all in the dark.
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Lights on again</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>In the interim, which is very short, <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> has gone
- over to the room on the left in which are John and <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>,
- and sits in chair corresponding to one which she has just left.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>She is silent and motionless, but her head is lifted; her eyes are
- open; she is alive again. When lights go on again, John and <br /><b>Mary
- Speaker</b> still stand before chair she has left as if she were in it; it
- is apparent that they believe themselves to be still looking at the old
- woman.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nonsense... all in the dark?... What do you mean by all in the dark?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Nothing... nothing now. It has passed....
- </p>
- <p>
- [Pointing to chair where <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> was.] She died with a
- smile on her face!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- But she isn't there.... <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b> isn't there.
- </p>
- <p>
- ... She's here.... She's over here with us... over here with <i>us</i>!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Here with us... over here, forever, now.
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Holding <br /><b>John Speaker</b>'s hand and gazing at vacant chair</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- How beautiful she looks! She is at rest, now! She is better off so. Better
- dead. She is better at peace!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Violently; starting towards other room</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- My God. I'm going to stop it... stop it... stop that lying... stop it at
- any cost.... I'm going to stop that pretending... that damned
- pretending....
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Mary Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Quickly getting in front of him; holding him back.</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- What are you going to do?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop it, I tell you.... Tell the truth... stop that pretense....
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>Moves towards the other room. As he does so, <br /><b>Mary Speaker</b>
- and John Speaker, for the first time become aware of John and <br /><b>Mary
- Thinker</b>, and shrink back in terror and alarm, clinging together,
- confused, convicted, abject, retreating, powerless; <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- leaps in front of John Thinker at same instant, and bars him back, saying:</i>]
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Stop!
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>John Thinker</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- Why? I <i>will</i> stop this pretense... Why not?
- </p>
- <p>
- <br /><b>Cousin Fanny</b>
- </p>
- <p>
- [<i>All four of the others lean forward and hang eagerly upon her words</i>.]
- </p>
- <p>
- You must not. It can't be done. It is the foundation upon which your
- society rests. It is necessary...<i> over there!</i>
- </p>
- <h3>
- CURTAIN
- </h3>
- <div style="height: 6em;">
- <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
- </div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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