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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Addicts, by William Morrison
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Addicts
-
-Author: William Morrison
-
-Release Date: February 17, 2016 [EBook #51240]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADDICTS ***
-
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-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="362" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>The Addicts</h1>
-
-<p>By WILLIAM MORRISON</p>
-
-<p>Illustrated by ED. ALEXANDER</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Galaxy Science Fiction January 1952.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3"><i>Wives always try to cure husbands of<br />
-bad habits, even on lonely asteroids!</i></p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>You must understand that Palmer loved his wife as much as ever, or he
-would never have thought of his simple little scheme at all. It was
-entirely for her own good, as he had told himself a dozen times in
-the past day. And with that he stilled whatever qualms of conscience
-he might otherwise have had. He didn't think of himself as being
-something of a murderer.</p>
-
-<p>She was sitting at the artificial fireplace, a cheerful relic of
-ancient days, reading just as peacefully as if she had been back home
-on Mars, instead of on this desolate outpost of space. She had adjusted
-quickly to the loneliness and the strangeness of this life&mdash;to the
-absence of friends, the need for conserving air, the strange feeling of
-an artificial gravity that varied slightly at the whim of impurities in
-the station fuel. To everything, in fact, but her husband.</p>
-
-<p>She seemed to sense his eyes on her, for she looked up and smiled.
-"Feeling all right, dear?" she asked.</p>
-
-<p>"Naturally. How about you?"</p>
-
-<p>"As well as can be expected."</p>
-
-<p>"Not very good, then."</p>
-
-<p>She didn't reply, and he thought, <i>She hates to admit it, but she
-really envies me. Well, I'll fix it so that she needn't any more.</i> And
-he stared through the thick, transparent metal window at the beauty of
-the stars, their light undimmed by dust or atmosphere.</p>
-
-<p>The stories told about the wretchedness of the lighthouse keepers who
-lived on asteroids didn't apply at all to this particular bit of cosmic
-rock. Life here had been wonderful, incredibly satisfying. At least it
-had been that way for him. And now it would be the same way for his
-wife as well.</p>
-
-<p>He would have denied it hotly if you had accused him of finding
-her repulsive. But to certain drunks, the sober man or woman is an
-offense, and Palmer was much more than a drunk. He was a marak addict,
-and in the eyes of the marak fiends, all things and all people were
-wonderful, except those who did not share their taste for the drug. The
-latter were miserable, depraved creatures, practically subhuman.</p>
-
-<p>Of course that was not the way most of them put it. Certainly it was
-not the way Palmer did. He regarded his wife, he told himself, as an
-unfortunate individual whom he loved very much, one whom it was his
-duty to make happy. That her new-found happiness would also hasten
-her death was merely an unfortunate coincidence. She was sure to die
-anyway, before long, so why not have her live out her last days in the
-peace and contentment that only marak could bring?</p>
-
-<p>Louise herself would have had an answer to that, if he had ever put the
-question to her. He was careful never to do so.</p>
-
-<p>She laid the book aside and looked up at him again. She said, "Jim,
-darling, do you think you could get the television set working again?"</p>
-
-<p>"Not without a mesotron rectifier."</p>
-
-<p>"Even the radio would be a comfort."</p>
-
-<p>"It wouldn't do any good, any way. Too much static from both Mars and
-Earth this time of year."</p>
-
-<p>That was the beauty of the marak, he thought. It changed his mood,
-and left him calm and in full command of his faculties, able to handle
-any problem that came up. He himself, of course, missed neither the
-radio nor the television, and he never touched the fine library of
-micro-books. He didn't need them.</p>
-
-<p>A shadow flitted by outside the thick window, blotting out for a moment
-the blaze of stars. It was the shadow of death, as he knew, and he was
-able to smile even at that. Even death was wonderful. When it finally
-came, it would find him happy. He would not shudder away from it, as he
-saw Louise doing now at the sight of the ominous shadow.</p>
-
-<p>He smiled at his wife again, remembering the six years they had lived
-together. It had been a short married life, but&mdash;again the word
-suggested itself to him&mdash;a wonderful one. There had been only one
-quarrel of importance, in the second year, and after that they had got
-along perfectly. And then, two years ago, he had begun to take marak,
-and after that he couldn't have quarreled with anyone. It was a paragon
-among drugs, and it was one of the mysteries of his existence that
-anybody should object to his using it.</p>
-
-<p>Louise had tried to argue with him after she had found out, but he had
-turned every exchange of views into a peaceful discussion, which from
-his side, at least, was brimming over with good humor. He had even
-been good-humored when she tried to slip the antidote into his food.
-It was this attitude of his that had so often left her baffled and
-enraged, and he had a good chuckle out of that, too. Imagine a wife
-getting angry because her husband was too good-natured.</p>
-
-<p>But she was never going to get angry again. He would see to that. Not
-after tonight. A big change was going to take place in her life.</p>
-
-<p>She had picked up another book, and for the moment he pitied her. He
-knew that she wasn't interested in any books. She was merely restless,
-looking for something to do with herself, seeking some method of
-killing time before the shadows outside killed it for her for good and
-all. She couldn't understand his being so peaceful and contented, doing
-nothing at all.</p>
-
-<p>She threw the second book down and snarled&mdash;yes, that was the word,
-"You're such a fool, Jim! You sit there, smug and sure of yourself,
-your mind blank, just waiting&mdash;waiting for them to kill you and me. And
-you seem actually happy when I mention it."</p>
-
-<p>"I'm happy at anything and everything, dear."</p>
-
-<p>"At the thought of dying too?"</p>
-
-<p>"Living or dying&mdash;it doesn't make any difference. Whatever happens,
-I'm incapable of being unhappy."</p>
-
-<p>"If it weren't for the drug, we'd both live. You'd think of a way to
-kill them before they killed us."</p>
-
-<p>"There is no way."</p>
-
-<p>"There must be. You just can't think of it while the drug has you in
-its grip."</p>
-
-<p>"The drug doesn't have you, dear." He asked without sarcasm, "Why don't
-you think of a way?"</p>
-
-<p>"Because I lack the training you have. Because I don't have the
-scientific knowledge, and all the equipment scattered around means
-nothing to me."</p>
-
-<p>"There's nothing to be done."</p>
-
-<p>Her fists clenched. "If you weren't under the influence of the drug&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"You know that it doesn't affect the ability to think. Tests have shown
-that."</p>
-
-<p>"Tests conducted by addicts themselves!"</p>
-
-<p>"The fact that they can conduct the tests should be proof enough that
-there's nothing wrong with their minds."</p>
-
-<p>"But there <i>is</i>!" she shouted. "I can see it in you. Oh, I know that
-you can still add and subtract, and you can draw lines under two
-words which mean the same thing, but that isn't really thinking. Real
-thinking means the ability to tackle real problems&mdash;hard problems that
-you can't handle merely with paper and pencil. It means having the
-incentive to use your brain for a long time at a stretch. And that's
-what the drug has ruined. It has taken away all your incentive."</p>
-
-<p>"I still go about my duties."</p>
-
-<p>"Not as well as you used to, and even at that, only because they've
-become a habit. Just as you talk to me, because I've become a habit. If
-you'd let me give you the antidote&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He chuckled at the absurdity of her suggestion. Once an addict had
-been cured, he could not become addicted again. The antidote acted
-to produce a permanent immunization against the effects of the drug.
-It was the realization of this fact that made addicts fight so hard
-against any attempt to cure them. And she thought that she could
-convince him by argument!</p>
-
-<p>He said, "<i>You</i> talk of not being able to think!"</p>
-
-<p>"I know," she replied hotly. "<i>I'm</i> the one who blunders. <i>I'm</i> the
-fool, for arguing with you, when I realize that it's impossible to
-convince a marak addict."</p>
-
-<p>"That's it," he nodded, and chuckled again. But that wasn't quite it.
-For he was also chuckling at his plan. She had thought him unable to
-tackle a real problem. Well, he would tackle one tonight. Then she
-would simply adopt his point of view, and she would no longer be
-unhappy. After she had accepted the solution he had provided, she would
-wonder how she could ever have opposed him.</p>
-
-<p>He fell into one of his dozes and hardly noticed her glaring at him.
-When he came out of it at last, it was to hear her say, "We have to
-stay alive as long as possible. For the sake of the lighthouse."</p>
-
-<p>"Of course, my dear. I don't dispute that at all."</p>
-
-<p>"And the longer we stay alive, the more chance there is that some ship
-will pick us up."</p>
-
-<p>"Oh, no, there's no chance at all," he asserted cheerfully. "You know
-that as well as I do. No use deceiving yourself, my love."</p>
-
-<p>That, he observed to himself, was the way of non-addicts. They couldn't
-look facts in the face. They had to cling to a blind and silly optimism
-which no facts justified.</p>
-
-<p><i>He</i> knew that there was no hope. <i>He</i> was able to review the facts
-calmly, judiciously, to see the inevitability of their dying&mdash;and to
-take pleasure even in that.</p>
-
-<p>He reviewed them for her now. "Let us see, sweetheart, whether I've
-lost my ability to analyze a situation. We're here with our pretty
-little lighthouse in the middle of a group of asteroids between Mars
-and Earth. Ships have been wrecked here, and our task is to prevent
-further wrecks. The lighthouse sends out a standard high-frequency
-beam whose intensity and phase permit astrogators to estimate their
-distance and direction from us. Ordinarily, there's nothing for us to
-do. But on the rare occasions when the beam fails&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"That will be the end."</p>
-
-<p>"On those occasions," he continued, unruffled by her interruption, "I
-am supposed to leave my cosy little shelter, so thoughtfully equipped
-with all the comforts of Earth or Mars, and make repairs as rapidly as
-possible. Under the usual conditions, lighthousekeeping is a boring
-task. In fact, it has been known to drive people insane. That's why
-it's generally assigned to happily married couples like us, who are
-accustomed to living quietly, without excitement."</p>
-
-<p>"And that," she added bitterly, "is why even happily married couples
-are usually relieved after one year."</p>
-
-<p>"But, darling," he said, his tone cheerful, "you mustn't blame anyone.
-Who would have expected that a maverick meteor would come at us and
-displace us from our orbit? And who would have expected that the meteor
-would have collided first with the outer asteroids, and picked up a
-cargo of&mdash;those?"</p>
-
-<p>He gestured toward the window, where a shadow had momentarily paused.
-By the light that shone through, he could see that the creature was
-relatively harmless-looking. It had what appeared to be a round,
-humorous face whose unhumorous intentions would be revealed only at
-the moment of the kill. The seeming face was actually featureless, for
-it was not a face at all. It had neither eyes, nor nose, nor mouth.
-The effect of features was given by the odd blend of colors. Almost
-escaping notice because of their unusual position and their dull brown
-hue were the stomach fangs, in neat rows which could be extended and
-retracted like those of a snake.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="430" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>He noticed that Louise had shuddered again, and said, in the manner
-of a man making conversation, "Interesting, aren't they? They're rock
-breathers, you know. They need very little oxygen, and they extract
-that from the silicates and other oxygen-containing compounds of the
-rock."</p>
-
-<p>"Don't talk about them."</p>
-
-<p>"All right, if you don't want me to. But about us&mdash;you see, my dear,
-no one expected us to be lost. And even if the Lighthouse Service has
-started to look for us, it'll take a long time to find us."</p>
-
-<p>"We have food, water, air. If not for those beasts, we'd last until a
-rescue ship appeared."</p>
-
-<p>"But even a rescue ship wouldn't be able to reach us unless we kept the
-beam going. So far, we've been lucky. It's really functioned remarkably
-well. But sooner or later it'll go out of order, and then I'll have to
-go out and fix it. You agree to that, don't you, Louise, dear?"</p>
-
-<p>She nodded. She said quietly, "The beam must be kept in order."</p>
-
-<p>"That's when the creatures will get me," he said, almost with
-satisfaction. "I may kill one or two of them, although the way I feel
-toward everything, I hate to kill anything at all. But you know,
-sweetheart, that there are more than a dozen of them altogether, and
-it's clumsy shooting in a spacesuit at beasts which move as swiftly as
-they do."</p>
-
-<p>"And if you don't succeed in fixing what's wrong, if they get you&mdash;"
-She broke down suddenly and began to cry.</p>
-
-<p>He looked at her with compassion, and smoothed her hair. And yet, under
-the influence of the drug, he enjoyed even her crying. It was, as he
-never tired of repeating to himself and to her a wonderful drug. Under
-its spell, a man&mdash;or a woman&mdash;could really enjoy life.</p>
-
-<p>Tonight she would begin to enjoy life along with him.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Their chronometer functioned perfectly, and they still regulated their
-living habits by it, using Greenwich Earth time. At seven in the
-evening they sat down to a fine meal. Knowing that tomorrow they might
-die, Louise had decided that tonight they would eat and drink as well
-as they could, and she had selected a Christmas special. She had merely
-to pull a lever, and the food had slid into the oven, to be cooked at
-once by an intense beam of high-frequency radiation. Jim himself had
-chosen the wine and the brandy&mdash;one of the peculiarities of the marak
-was that it did not affect the actual enjoyment of alcoholic drinks in
-the slightest, and one of the sights of the Solar System was to see an
-addict who was also drunk.</p>
-
-<p>But it was a rare sight, for the marak itself created such a pervading
-sensation of well-being that it often acted as a cure for alcoholism.
-Once an alcoholic had experienced its effect, he had no need to get
-drunk to forget his troubles. He enjoyed his troubles instead, and
-drank the alcohol for its own sake, for its ability to provide a
-slightly different sensation, and not for its ability to release him
-from an unhappy world.</p>
-
-<p>So tonight Palmer drank moderately, taking just enough, as it seemed
-to him, to stimulate his brain. And he did what he now realized he
-should have done long ago. Unobserved, he placed a tablet of marak in
-his own wineglass and one in Louise's. The slight bitterness of taste
-would be hardly perceptible. And after that Louise would be an addict
-too.</p>
-
-<p>That was the way the marak worked. There was nothing mysterious about
-the craving. It was simply that once you had experienced how delightful
-it was, you wouldn't do without it.</p>
-
-<p>The tablet he had taken that morning was losing its effect, but he felt
-so pleased at what he was doing that he didn't mind even that. For the
-next half hour he would enjoy himself simply by looking at Louise, and
-thinking that now at last they would be united again, no longer kept
-apart by her silly ideas about doing something to save themselves. And
-then the drug would take effect, and they would feel themselves lifted
-to the stars together, never to come down to this substitute for Earth
-again until the beam failed, and they went out together to make the
-repairs, and the shadows closed in on them.</p>
-
-<p>He had made sure that Louise had her back to him when he dropped the
-tablet into her glass, and he saw that she suspected nothing. She drank
-her wine, he noticed, without even commenting on the taste. He felt a
-sudden impulse to kiss her, and, somewhat to her surprise, he did so.
-Then he sat down again and went on with the dinner.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="361" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>He waited.</p>
-
-<p>An hour later he knew that he had made her happy. She was laughing as
-she hadn't laughed for a long time. She laughed at the humorous things
-he said, at the flattering way he raised his glass to her, even at what
-she saw through the window. Sometimes it seemed to him that she was
-laughing at nothing at all.</p>
-
-<p>He tried to think of how he had reacted the first time he had taken
-the drug. He hadn't been quite so aggressively cheerful, not quite
-so&mdash;hysterical. But then, the drug didn't have exactly the same effect
-on everyone. She wasn't as well balanced as he had been. The important
-thing was that she was happy.</p>
-
-<p>Curiously enough, he himself wasn't happy at all.</p>
-
-<p>It took about five seconds for the thought to become clear to him,
-five seconds in which he passed from dull amazement to an enraged and
-horrified comprehension. He sprang to his feet, overturning the table
-at which they still sat. And he saw that she wasn't surprised at all,
-that she still stared at him with a secret satisfaction.</p>
-
-<p>"You've cured me!" he cried. "You've fed me the antidote!"</p>
-
-<p>And he began to curse. He remembered the other time she had tried it,
-the time when he had been on the alert, and had easily detected the
-strange metallic taste of the stuff. He had spat it out, and under the
-influence of the drug from which she had hoped to save him, he had
-laughed at her.</p>
-
-<p>Now he was unable to laugh. He had been so intent on feeding the tablet
-to her that he had forgotten to guard himself, and he had been caught.
-He was normal now&mdash;her idea of being normal&mdash;and he would never again
-know the wonderful feeling the drug gave. He began to realize his
-situation on this horrible lonely asteroid. He cast a glance at the
-window and at what must be waiting outside, and it was his turn to
-shudder.</p>
-
-<p>He noticed that she was still smiling.</p>
-
-<p>He said bitterly, "You're the addict now and I'm cured."</p>
-
-<p>She stopped smiling and said quietly, "Jim, listen to me. You're wrong,
-completely wrong. I didn't give you the antidote, and you didn't give
-me the drug."</p>
-
-<p>"I put it in your wineglass myself."</p>
-
-<p>She shook her head. "That was a tablet I substituted for yours. It's
-an anti-virus dose from our medicine chest. You took one of the
-same things. That's why you feel so depressed. You're not under the
-influence of the drug any more."</p>
-
-<p>He took a deep breath. "But I'm not cured?"</p>
-
-<p>"No. I knew that I wouldn't be able to slip you the antidote. The taste
-is too strong. Later you'll be able to start taking the drug again.
-That is, if you want to, after experiencing for a time what it is to
-be normal. But not now. You have to keep your head clear. You have to
-think of something to save us."</p>
-
-<p>"But there's nothing to think of!" he shouted angrily. "I told you that
-the drug doesn't affect the intelligence!"</p>
-
-<p>"I still don't believe you. If you'd only exert yourself, use your
-mind&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He said savagely, "I'm not going to bother. Give me those marak
-tablets."</p>
-
-<p>She backed away from him. "I thought you might want them. I took no
-chances. I threw them out."</p>
-
-<p>"Out there?" A horrified and incredulous look was on his face. "You
-mean that I'm stuck here without them? Louise, you fool, there's no
-help for us! The other way, at least, we'd have died happy. But now&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>He stared out the window. The shadows were there in full force. Not
-one now, but two, three&mdash;he counted half a dozen. It was almost as if
-they knew that the end had come.</p>
-
-<p>They had reason to be happy, he thought with despair. And perhaps&mdash;
-he shrank back from the thought, but it forced itself into his
-mind&mdash;perhaps, now that all happiness had gone, and wretchedness had
-taken its place, he might as well end everything. There would be no
-days to spend torturing himself in anticipation of a horrible death.</p>
-
-<p>Louise exclaimed suddenly, "Jim, <i>look</i>! They're <i>frolicking</i>!"</p>
-
-<p>He looked. The beasts certainly were gay. One of them leaped from
-the airless surface of the asteroid and sailed over its fellow. He
-had never seen them do that before. Usually they clung to the rocky
-surface. Another was spinning around oddly, as if it had lost its sense
-of balance.</p>
-
-<p>Louise said, "<i>They've</i> swallowed the tablets! Over a hundred
-doses&mdash;enough to drug every beast on the asteroid!"</p>
-
-<p>For a moment Palmer stared at the gamboling alien drug addicts. Then
-he put on his spacesuit and took his gun, and, without the slightest
-danger to himself, went out and shot them one by one. He noted, with a
-kind of grim envy, that they died happy.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Addicts, by William Morrison
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Addicts
-
-Author: William Morrison
-
-Release Date: February 17, 2016 [EBook #51240]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADDICTS ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- The Addicts
-
- By WILLIAM MORRISON
-
- Illustrated by ED. ALEXANDER
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Science Fiction January 1952.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- Wives always try to cure husbands of
- bad habits, even on lonely asteroids!
-
-
-You must understand that Palmer loved his wife as much as ever, or he
-would never have thought of his simple little scheme at all. It was
-entirely for her own good, as he had told himself a dozen times in
-the past day. And with that he stilled whatever qualms of conscience
-he might otherwise have had. He didn't think of himself as being
-something of a murderer.
-
-She was sitting at the artificial fireplace, a cheerful relic of
-ancient days, reading just as peacefully as if she had been back home
-on Mars, instead of on this desolate outpost of space. She had adjusted
-quickly to the loneliness and the strangeness of this life--to the
-absence of friends, the need for conserving air, the strange feeling of
-an artificial gravity that varied slightly at the whim of impurities in
-the station fuel. To everything, in fact, but her husband.
-
-She seemed to sense his eyes on her, for she looked up and smiled.
-"Feeling all right, dear?" she asked.
-
-"Naturally. How about you?"
-
-"As well as can be expected."
-
-"Not very good, then."
-
-She didn't reply, and he thought, _She hates to admit it, but she
-really envies me. Well, I'll fix it so that she needn't any more._ And
-he stared through the thick, transparent metal window at the beauty of
-the stars, their light undimmed by dust or atmosphere.
-
-The stories told about the wretchedness of the lighthouse keepers who
-lived on asteroids didn't apply at all to this particular bit of cosmic
-rock. Life here had been wonderful, incredibly satisfying. At least it
-had been that way for him. And now it would be the same way for his
-wife as well.
-
-He would have denied it hotly if you had accused him of finding
-her repulsive. But to certain drunks, the sober man or woman is an
-offense, and Palmer was much more than a drunk. He was a marak addict,
-and in the eyes of the marak fiends, all things and all people were
-wonderful, except those who did not share their taste for the drug. The
-latter were miserable, depraved creatures, practically subhuman.
-
-Of course that was not the way most of them put it. Certainly it was
-not the way Palmer did. He regarded his wife, he told himself, as an
-unfortunate individual whom he loved very much, one whom it was his
-duty to make happy. That her new-found happiness would also hasten
-her death was merely an unfortunate coincidence. She was sure to die
-anyway, before long, so why not have her live out her last days in the
-peace and contentment that only marak could bring?
-
-Louise herself would have had an answer to that, if he had ever put the
-question to her. He was careful never to do so.
-
-She laid the book aside and looked up at him again. She said, "Jim,
-darling, do you think you could get the television set working again?"
-
-"Not without a mesotron rectifier."
-
-"Even the radio would be a comfort."
-
-"It wouldn't do any good, any way. Too much static from both Mars and
-Earth this time of year."
-
-That was the beauty of the marak, he thought. It changed his mood,
-and left him calm and in full command of his faculties, able to handle
-any problem that came up. He himself, of course, missed neither the
-radio nor the television, and he never touched the fine library of
-micro-books. He didn't need them.
-
-A shadow flitted by outside the thick window, blotting out for a moment
-the blaze of stars. It was the shadow of death, as he knew, and he was
-able to smile even at that. Even death was wonderful. When it finally
-came, it would find him happy. He would not shudder away from it, as he
-saw Louise doing now at the sight of the ominous shadow.
-
-He smiled at his wife again, remembering the six years they had lived
-together. It had been a short married life, but--again the word
-suggested itself to him--a wonderful one. There had been only one
-quarrel of importance, in the second year, and after that they had got
-along perfectly. And then, two years ago, he had begun to take marak,
-and after that he couldn't have quarreled with anyone. It was a paragon
-among drugs, and it was one of the mysteries of his existence that
-anybody should object to his using it.
-
-Louise had tried to argue with him after she had found out, but he had
-turned every exchange of views into a peaceful discussion, which from
-his side, at least, was brimming over with good humor. He had even
-been good-humored when she tried to slip the antidote into his food.
-It was this attitude of his that had so often left her baffled and
-enraged, and he had a good chuckle out of that, too. Imagine a wife
-getting angry because her husband was too good-natured.
-
-But she was never going to get angry again. He would see to that. Not
-after tonight. A big change was going to take place in her life.
-
-She had picked up another book, and for the moment he pitied her. He
-knew that she wasn't interested in any books. She was merely restless,
-looking for something to do with herself, seeking some method of
-killing time before the shadows outside killed it for her for good and
-all. She couldn't understand his being so peaceful and contented, doing
-nothing at all.
-
-She threw the second book down and snarled--yes, that was the word,
-"You're such a fool, Jim! You sit there, smug and sure of yourself,
-your mind blank, just waiting--waiting for them to kill you and me. And
-you seem actually happy when I mention it."
-
-"I'm happy at anything and everything, dear."
-
-"At the thought of dying too?"
-
-"Living or dying--it doesn't make any difference. Whatever happens,
-I'm incapable of being unhappy."
-
-"If it weren't for the drug, we'd both live. You'd think of a way to
-kill them before they killed us."
-
-"There is no way."
-
-"There must be. You just can't think of it while the drug has you in
-its grip."
-
-"The drug doesn't have you, dear." He asked without sarcasm, "Why don't
-you think of a way?"
-
-"Because I lack the training you have. Because I don't have the
-scientific knowledge, and all the equipment scattered around means
-nothing to me."
-
-"There's nothing to be done."
-
-Her fists clenched. "If you weren't under the influence of the drug--"
-
-"You know that it doesn't affect the ability to think. Tests have shown
-that."
-
-"Tests conducted by addicts themselves!"
-
-"The fact that they can conduct the tests should be proof enough that
-there's nothing wrong with their minds."
-
-"But there _is_!" she shouted. "I can see it in you. Oh, I know that
-you can still add and subtract, and you can draw lines under two
-words which mean the same thing, but that isn't really thinking. Real
-thinking means the ability to tackle real problems--hard problems that
-you can't handle merely with paper and pencil. It means having the
-incentive to use your brain for a long time at a stretch. And that's
-what the drug has ruined. It has taken away all your incentive."
-
-"I still go about my duties."
-
-"Not as well as you used to, and even at that, only because they've
-become a habit. Just as you talk to me, because I've become a habit. If
-you'd let me give you the antidote--"
-
-He chuckled at the absurdity of her suggestion. Once an addict had
-been cured, he could not become addicted again. The antidote acted
-to produce a permanent immunization against the effects of the drug.
-It was the realization of this fact that made addicts fight so hard
-against any attempt to cure them. And she thought that she could
-convince him by argument!
-
-He said, "_You_ talk of not being able to think!"
-
-"I know," she replied hotly. "_I'm_ the one who blunders. _I'm_ the
-fool, for arguing with you, when I realize that it's impossible to
-convince a marak addict."
-
-"That's it," he nodded, and chuckled again. But that wasn't quite it.
-For he was also chuckling at his plan. She had thought him unable to
-tackle a real problem. Well, he would tackle one tonight. Then she
-would simply adopt his point of view, and she would no longer be
-unhappy. After she had accepted the solution he had provided, she would
-wonder how she could ever have opposed him.
-
-He fell into one of his dozes and hardly noticed her glaring at him.
-When he came out of it at last, it was to hear her say, "We have to
-stay alive as long as possible. For the sake of the lighthouse."
-
-"Of course, my dear. I don't dispute that at all."
-
-"And the longer we stay alive, the more chance there is that some ship
-will pick us up."
-
-"Oh, no, there's no chance at all," he asserted cheerfully. "You know
-that as well as I do. No use deceiving yourself, my love."
-
-That, he observed to himself, was the way of non-addicts. They couldn't
-look facts in the face. They had to cling to a blind and silly optimism
-which no facts justified.
-
-_He_ knew that there was no hope. _He_ was able to review the facts
-calmly, judiciously, to see the inevitability of their dying--and to
-take pleasure even in that.
-
-He reviewed them for her now. "Let us see, sweetheart, whether I've
-lost my ability to analyze a situation. We're here with our pretty
-little lighthouse in the middle of a group of asteroids between Mars
-and Earth. Ships have been wrecked here, and our task is to prevent
-further wrecks. The lighthouse sends out a standard high-frequency
-beam whose intensity and phase permit astrogators to estimate their
-distance and direction from us. Ordinarily, there's nothing for us to
-do. But on the rare occasions when the beam fails--"
-
-"That will be the end."
-
-"On those occasions," he continued, unruffled by her interruption, "I
-am supposed to leave my cosy little shelter, so thoughtfully equipped
-with all the comforts of Earth or Mars, and make repairs as rapidly as
-possible. Under the usual conditions, lighthousekeeping is a boring
-task. In fact, it has been known to drive people insane. That's why
-it's generally assigned to happily married couples like us, who are
-accustomed to living quietly, without excitement."
-
-"And that," she added bitterly, "is why even happily married couples
-are usually relieved after one year."
-
-"But, darling," he said, his tone cheerful, "you mustn't blame anyone.
-Who would have expected that a maverick meteor would come at us and
-displace us from our orbit? And who would have expected that the meteor
-would have collided first with the outer asteroids, and picked up a
-cargo of--those?"
-
-He gestured toward the window, where a shadow had momentarily paused.
-By the light that shone through, he could see that the creature was
-relatively harmless-looking. It had what appeared to be a round,
-humorous face whose unhumorous intentions would be revealed only at
-the moment of the kill. The seeming face was actually featureless, for
-it was not a face at all. It had neither eyes, nor nose, nor mouth.
-The effect of features was given by the odd blend of colors. Almost
-escaping notice because of their unusual position and their dull brown
-hue were the stomach fangs, in neat rows which could be extended and
-retracted like those of a snake.
-
-He noticed that Louise had shuddered again, and said, in the manner
-of a man making conversation, "Interesting, aren't they? They're rock
-breathers, you know. They need very little oxygen, and they extract
-that from the silicates and other oxygen-containing compounds of the
-rock."
-
-"Don't talk about them."
-
-"All right, if you don't want me to. But about us--you see, my dear,
-no one expected us to be lost. And even if the Lighthouse Service has
-started to look for us, it'll take a long time to find us."
-
-"We have food, water, air. If not for those beasts, we'd last until a
-rescue ship appeared."
-
-"But even a rescue ship wouldn't be able to reach us unless we kept the
-beam going. So far, we've been lucky. It's really functioned remarkably
-well. But sooner or later it'll go out of order, and then I'll have to
-go out and fix it. You agree to that, don't you, Louise, dear?"
-
-She nodded. She said quietly, "The beam must be kept in order."
-
-"That's when the creatures will get me," he said, almost with
-satisfaction. "I may kill one or two of them, although the way I feel
-toward everything, I hate to kill anything at all. But you know,
-sweetheart, that there are more than a dozen of them altogether, and
-it's clumsy shooting in a spacesuit at beasts which move as swiftly as
-they do."
-
-"And if you don't succeed in fixing what's wrong, if they get you--"
-She broke down suddenly and began to cry.
-
-He looked at her with compassion, and smoothed her hair. And yet, under
-the influence of the drug, he enjoyed even her crying. It was, as he
-never tired of repeating to himself and to her a wonderful drug. Under
-its spell, a man--or a woman--could really enjoy life.
-
-Tonight she would begin to enjoy life along with him.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Their chronometer functioned perfectly, and they still regulated their
-living habits by it, using Greenwich Earth time. At seven in the
-evening they sat down to a fine meal. Knowing that tomorrow they might
-die, Louise had decided that tonight they would eat and drink as well
-as they could, and she had selected a Christmas special. She had merely
-to pull a lever, and the food had slid into the oven, to be cooked at
-once by an intense beam of high-frequency radiation. Jim himself had
-chosen the wine and the brandy--one of the peculiarities of the marak
-was that it did not affect the actual enjoyment of alcoholic drinks in
-the slightest, and one of the sights of the Solar System was to see an
-addict who was also drunk.
-
-But it was a rare sight, for the marak itself created such a pervading
-sensation of well-being that it often acted as a cure for alcoholism.
-Once an alcoholic had experienced its effect, he had no need to get
-drunk to forget his troubles. He enjoyed his troubles instead, and
-drank the alcohol for its own sake, for its ability to provide a
-slightly different sensation, and not for its ability to release him
-from an unhappy world.
-
-So tonight Palmer drank moderately, taking just enough, as it seemed
-to him, to stimulate his brain. And he did what he now realized he
-should have done long ago. Unobserved, he placed a tablet of marak in
-his own wineglass and one in Louise's. The slight bitterness of taste
-would be hardly perceptible. And after that Louise would be an addict
-too.
-
-That was the way the marak worked. There was nothing mysterious about
-the craving. It was simply that once you had experienced how delightful
-it was, you wouldn't do without it.
-
-The tablet he had taken that morning was losing its effect, but he felt
-so pleased at what he was doing that he didn't mind even that. For the
-next half hour he would enjoy himself simply by looking at Louise, and
-thinking that now at last they would be united again, no longer kept
-apart by her silly ideas about doing something to save themselves. And
-then the drug would take effect, and they would feel themselves lifted
-to the stars together, never to come down to this substitute for Earth
-again until the beam failed, and they went out together to make the
-repairs, and the shadows closed in on them.
-
-He had made sure that Louise had her back to him when he dropped the
-tablet into her glass, and he saw that she suspected nothing. She drank
-her wine, he noticed, without even commenting on the taste. He felt a
-sudden impulse to kiss her, and, somewhat to her surprise, he did so.
-Then he sat down again and went on with the dinner.
-
-He waited.
-
-An hour later he knew that he had made her happy. She was laughing as
-she hadn't laughed for a long time. She laughed at the humorous things
-he said, at the flattering way he raised his glass to her, even at what
-she saw through the window. Sometimes it seemed to him that she was
-laughing at nothing at all.
-
-He tried to think of how he had reacted the first time he had taken
-the drug. He hadn't been quite so aggressively cheerful, not quite
-so--hysterical. But then, the drug didn't have exactly the same effect
-on everyone. She wasn't as well balanced as he had been. The important
-thing was that she was happy.
-
-Curiously enough, he himself wasn't happy at all.
-
-It took about five seconds for the thought to become clear to him,
-five seconds in which he passed from dull amazement to an enraged and
-horrified comprehension. He sprang to his feet, overturning the table
-at which they still sat. And he saw that she wasn't surprised at all,
-that she still stared at him with a secret satisfaction.
-
-"You've cured me!" he cried. "You've fed me the antidote!"
-
-And he began to curse. He remembered the other time she had tried it,
-the time when he had been on the alert, and had easily detected the
-strange metallic taste of the stuff. He had spat it out, and under the
-influence of the drug from which she had hoped to save him, he had
-laughed at her.
-
-Now he was unable to laugh. He had been so intent on feeding the tablet
-to her that he had forgotten to guard himself, and he had been caught.
-He was normal now--her idea of being normal--and he would never again
-know the wonderful feeling the drug gave. He began to realize his
-situation on this horrible lonely asteroid. He cast a glance at the
-window and at what must be waiting outside, and it was his turn to
-shudder.
-
-He noticed that she was still smiling.
-
-He said bitterly, "You're the addict now and I'm cured."
-
-She stopped smiling and said quietly, "Jim, listen to me. You're wrong,
-completely wrong. I didn't give you the antidote, and you didn't give
-me the drug."
-
-"I put it in your wineglass myself."
-
-She shook her head. "That was a tablet I substituted for yours. It's
-an anti-virus dose from our medicine chest. You took one of the
-same things. That's why you feel so depressed. You're not under the
-influence of the drug any more."
-
-He took a deep breath. "But I'm not cured?"
-
-"No. I knew that I wouldn't be able to slip you the antidote. The taste
-is too strong. Later you'll be able to start taking the drug again.
-That is, if you want to, after experiencing for a time what it is to
-be normal. But not now. You have to keep your head clear. You have to
-think of something to save us."
-
-"But there's nothing to think of!" he shouted angrily. "I told you that
-the drug doesn't affect the intelligence!"
-
-"I still don't believe you. If you'd only exert yourself, use your
-mind--"
-
-He said savagely, "I'm not going to bother. Give me those marak
-tablets."
-
-She backed away from him. "I thought you might want them. I took no
-chances. I threw them out."
-
-"Out there?" A horrified and incredulous look was on his face. "You
-mean that I'm stuck here without them? Louise, you fool, there's no
-help for us! The other way, at least, we'd have died happy. But now--"
-
-He stared out the window. The shadows were there in full force. Not
-one now, but two, three--he counted half a dozen. It was almost as if
-they knew that the end had come.
-
-They had reason to be happy, he thought with despair. And perhaps--
-he shrank back from the thought, but it forced itself into his
-mind--perhaps, now that all happiness had gone, and wretchedness had
-taken its place, he might as well end everything. There would be no
-days to spend torturing himself in anticipation of a horrible death.
-
-Louise exclaimed suddenly, "Jim, _look_! They're _frolicking_!"
-
-He looked. The beasts certainly were gay. One of them leaped from
-the airless surface of the asteroid and sailed over its fellow. He
-had never seen them do that before. Usually they clung to the rocky
-surface. Another was spinning around oddly, as if it had lost its sense
-of balance.
-
-Louise said, "_They've_ swallowed the tablets! Over a hundred
-doses--enough to drug every beast on the asteroid!"
-
-For a moment Palmer stared at the gamboling alien drug addicts. Then
-he put on his spacesuit and took his gun, and, without the slightest
-danger to himself, went out and shot them one by one. He noted, with a
-kind of grim envy, that they died happy.
-
-
-
-
-
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