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-
-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Semantic War, by Bill Clothier
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Semantic War
-
-Author: Bill Clothier
-
-Release Date: February 8, 2016 [EBook #51153]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEMANTIC WAR ***
-
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-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
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-</pre>
-
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="401" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="titlepage">
-<h1>THE SEMANTIC WAR</h1>
-
-<p>By BILL CLOTHIER</p>
-
-<p>Illustrated by WES</p>
-
-<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br />
-Galaxy Science Fiction November 1955.<br />
-Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br />
-the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p>
-
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p class="ph3"><i>Perhaps there have been causes for slaughter<br />
-just as silly as this was&mdash;but try to find one!</i></p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>The rain pours down chill out of a sullen sky. My pace quickens as I
-try to regain the relative warmth and shelter of the cavern before I
-become thoroughly drenched. I cannot afford to catch a cold. All alone
-as I am and with no medicine, I would stand too great a chance of a
-quick death. These lowering Oregon skies still hold traces of nameless
-disease in their writhing cloud tendrils. I am not just afraid of
-a cold. That would only be the key for some other malady to use and
-strike me down forever.</p>
-
-<p>I see the cave up ahead and feel a sense of contentment as I draw near
-and then duck inside its stony mouth. The rain hisses without, but
-inside it is dry. There is a heavy cow-hide hanging on a peg in the
-wall and I take it down and wrap it around me. Soon I will be warm.
-Once more I may stave off my ultimate end.</p>
-
-<p>Sometimes I wonder why I wish to put it off. Certainly, according to my
-old standards, there is no point in living. But somehow I feel that the
-mere fact of living is justification in itself. Even for such a life as
-mine.</p>
-
-<p>I didn't always feel this way. But then circumstances change and people
-change with them. I changed my circumstances more than myself, but I
-had no alternative. So now I exist.</p>
-
-<p>I suppose I should be content. After all, I am alive and, in my own
-simple way, I enjoy life. I can remember people who asked nothing more
-than to be allowed to live&mdash;to exist. Ironically enough, I always
-considered them sub-normal. I felt that a man should strive to do
-something that would not only perpetuate the happiness of his own
-life but that of his fellow-men. Something that would make life more
-beautiful, and easier, and more kind.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>It was with this feeling that I applied myself as a student of
-philosophy at Stanford University. And the strengthening of this same
-belief led me to take up teaching and embrace it as the only way of
-obtaining genuine happiness. My personal philosophy was simple. I
-would learn about life in all its real and symbolic meanings and then
-teach it to my pupils, each of whom, I felt sure, were thirsting for
-the knowledge that I was extracting from my cultural environment. I
-would show them the meaning behind things. That, I felt, was the key to
-successful living.</p>
-
-<p>Now it seems strangely pathetic that I should have essayed such an
-impossible task. But even a professor of philosophy can be mistaken and
-become confused.</p>
-
-<p>I remember when I first became aware of the movement. For years, we had
-been drilling certain precepts into the soft, impressionable heads of
-those students who came under our influence. Liberalism, some called
-it, the right to take the values accumulated by society over a period
-of hundreds of years and bend them to fit whatever idea or act was
-contemplated. By such methods, it was possible to fit the mores to the
-deed, not the deed to the mores. Oh, it was a wonderful theory, one
-that promised to project all human activities entirely beyond good and
-evil.</p>
-
-<p>However, I digress. It was a spring morning at Berkeley, California,
-when I had my first inkling of the movement. I was sitting in my office
-gazing out the window and considering life in my usual contemplative
-fashion. I might say I was being rather smug. I was thinking how
-fortunate I was to have been graduated from Stanford with such high
-honors, and how my good luck had stayed with me until I received my
-doctor's degree in a famous Eastern university and came out to take an
-associate professorship at the Berkeley campus.</p>
-
-<p>I was watching the hurrying figures below on the crosswalks and idly
-noting the brilliant green of the shrubbery and the trees and the lawn.
-I was mixing up Keats with a bit of philosophy and thoroughly enjoying
-myself. Knowledge is truth, truth beauty, I mused, that is all we know
-on Earth, and all we need to know.</p>
-
-<p>There was a knock on my door and I said come in, reluctantly abandoning
-my train of thought which had just picked up Shakespeare, whom I was
-going to consider as two-thirds philosopher and one-third poet. I
-have never felt that the field of literature had the sole claim to
-Shakespeare's greatness.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>Professor Lillick came in, visibly perturbed. Lillick was a somewhat
-erratic individual (for a professor, at least) and he was often
-perturbed. Once he became excited about the possibilities of the campus
-shrubbery being stunted and discolored by the actions of certain dogs
-living on campus. He was not a philosophy professor, of course, but a
-member of the political science group.</p>
-
-<p>"Carlson," he asked nervously, "have you heard about it yet?"</p>
-
-<p>"I have no idea," I returned good-naturedly. "Heard about what?"</p>
-
-<p>He looked behind him as if he thought he might be followed. Then
-he whirled around, his sharp-featured face alight with feeling.
-"Carlson&mdash;the Wistick dufels the Moraddy!" And he stared at me
-intently, his gimlet eyes almost blazing.</p>
-
-<p>I stared back at him blankly.</p>
-
-<p>"You haven't heard!" he exclaimed. "I thought surely you would know
-about it. You're always talking about freedom to apply thought for the
-good of humanity. Well, we're finally going to do something about it.
-You'll see. Keep your ears open, Carlson." Then he turned and started
-out of the room. He paused at the threshold and fixed me again with
-his ferretlike eyes. "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!" he said, and
-vanished through the door.</p>
-
-<p>And that was my first unheeded omen of what was to come. I paid little
-attention to it. Lillick wasn't the sort of man who inspired attention.
-As a matter of fact, I considered reporting him to the head of his
-department as being on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But I didn't.
-In those days, nervous breakdowns were a common occurrence around
-college campuses. The educational profession was a very hazardous
-occupation. One Southern university, for example, reported five faculty
-suicides during spring quarter.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>In the days that followed, however, I began to realize that there was
-some sort of movement being fostered by the student body. It couldn't
-be defined, but it could be felt and seen. The students began to form
-groups and hold meetings&mdash;often without official sanction. What they
-were about could not be discovered, but some of the results soon became
-evident.</p>
-
-<p>For one thing, certain students began to walk on one side of the
-street and the other students walked on the other side. The ones who
-used the north side of the street wore green sweaters with white
-trousers or skirts, and the south-side students wore white sweaters
-with green trousers or skirts. It even got to the point where those in
-green sweaters went only to classes in the morning and those in white
-attended the afternoon sessions.</p>
-
-<p>Then the little white cards began to appear. They were sent through
-the mail. They were slipped under doorways and in desk drawers. They
-turned up beside your plate at dinner and under your pillow at night.
-They were pasted on your front door in the morning and they appeared in
-the fly-leaves of your books. They were even hung on trees like fruit,
-and surely no fruit ever spored so queer a seedling.</p>
-
-<p>They said either one thing or the other: THE WISTICK DUFELS THE
-MORADDY, or THE MORADDY DUFELS THE WISTICK. Which card belonged to what
-group was not immediately clear. It was not until the riots broke out
-that the thing began to be seen in its proper perspective. And then it
-was too late.</p>
-
-<p>When the first riot started, it was assumed that the university
-officials and the police could quell it in a very short time. But
-strangely enough, as additional police were called in, the battle raged
-even more fiercely. I could see part of the affair from my window and
-therefore was able to understand why the increasing police force only
-added to the turmoil. They were fighting one another! And through the
-din could be heard the wild shouts of "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!"
-or "The Moraddy dufels the Wistick!"</p>
-
-<p>The final blow came when I saw the Registrar and the Dean of Men
-struggling fiercely in one of the hedge-rows, and heard the Dean of
-Men yell in wild exultation as he brought a briefcase down on the
-Registrar's head, "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!"</p>
-
-<p>Then someone broke in through the door of my office. I turned in alarm
-and saw a huge three-letter man standing only a few feet from me. He
-had been in one of my classes. I remembered something about his being
-the hardest driving fullback on the Pacific coast. He was certainly the
-dumbest philosophy student I ever flunked. His hair was mussed and he
-was wild-eyed. He had blood on his face and chest, and his clothes were
-torn and grass-stained.</p>
-
-<p>"The Wistick dufels the Moraddy," he said.</p>
-
-<p>"Get out of my office," I told him coldly, "and stay out."</p>
-
-<p>"So you're on the other side," he snarled. "I hoped you would be."</p>
-
-<p>He started toward me and I seized a bookend on my desk and tried to
-strike him with it. But he brushed it aside and came on in. His first
-blow nearly broke my arm and as I dropped my guard due to the numbing
-pain, he struck me solidly on the side of the jaw.</p>
-
-<p>When I recovered consciousness, I was lying by the side of my desk
-where I had fallen. My head ached and my neck was stiff. I got
-painfully to my feet and then noticed the big square of cardboard
-pinned to the door of my office. It was lettered in red pencil and in
-past tense said, "The Wistick dufelled the Moraddy."</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>The uprisings arose spontaneously in all parts of the country. They
-were not confined to colleges. They were not confined to any particular
-group. They encompassed nearly the entire population and the fervor
-aroused by their battle-cry, whichever one it might be, was beyond all
-comprehension.</p>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<div class="figcenter">
- <img src="images/illus.jpg" width="360" height="500" alt=""/>
-</div>
-
-<hr class="chap" />
-
-<p>I could not understand either slogan's meaning&mdash;and there were others
-like myself. On several occasions, I attempted to find out, but I was
-beaten twice and threatened with a pistol the third time, so I gave
-up all such efforts. I was never much given to any sort of physical
-violence.</p>
-
-<p>One night, I went home thoroughly disheartened by the state of affairs.
-The university was hardly functioning. Nearly the entire faculty,
-including the college president, had been drawn into one camp or the
-other. Their actions were utterly abhorrent to me. If the professor
-was a green-top, or Wistickian, he lectured only to green-tops. If he
-belonged to the Moraddians, or white-top faction, they were the only
-ones who could enter his classroom.</p>
-
-<p>The two groups were so evenly divided that open violence was frowned
-upon as a means of attaining whatever end they had in view. They were
-biding their time and gathering strength for fresh onslaughts on each
-other.</p>
-
-<p>As I say, I went home feeling very discouraged. My wife was in the
-kitchen preparing dinner, and I went in and sat down at the table while
-she worked. The daily paper was lying on the table, its headlines
-loaded with stories of bloodshed and strife throughout the nation. I
-glanced through them. Lately, there seemed to be a sort of pattern
-forming.</p>
-
-<p>East of the Mississippi, the general slogan was emerging as the Moraddy
-dufelling the Wistick. West of the Mississippi, the Wistick was
-receiving the greater support. And it seemed that the younger people
-and the women preferred the Moraddy, while elderly people and most men
-were on the side of the Wistick.</p>
-
-<p>I commented on this.</p>
-
-<p>My wife answered briefly, "Of course. Anyone should know that the
-Moraddy will win out." She went on with the preparations for dinner,
-not looking at me.</p>
-
-<p>I sat stunned for a moment. Great God in Heaven, not my wife!</p>
-
-<p>"Am I to understand that you are taking any part of this seriously?" I
-asked with some heat. "The whole thing is a horrible, pointless prank!"</p>
-
-<p>She turned and faced me squarely. "Not to me. I say the Moraddy
-will win out. I want it to&mdash;and I think you'd be wise to get on the
-bandwagon while there's still time."</p>
-
-<p>I realized she was serious. Dead serious. I tried a cautious query:</p>
-
-<p>"Just what does the dufellation of the Wistick by the Moraddy mean?"</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>And it made her angry. It actually made her angry! She switched off the
-front burner and walked past me into the living room. I didn't think
-she was going to answer, but she did&mdash;sort of.</p>
-
-<p>"There is no excuse for an egghead in your position not knowing what it
-means." Her voice was strained and tense. "If you had any perception
-whatever, you would understand what the Moraddy has to give the
-American people. It's our only hope. And you've got to take sides.
-You're either for the Moraddy or the Wistick&mdash;you can't take the middle
-way."</p>
-
-<p>I felt completely isolated. "Wait! I don't know what it means&mdash;"</p>
-
-<p>"Forget it," she broke in. "I should have known. You were born, you
-have lived, and you will die an egghead in an ivory tower. Just
-remember&mdash;the Moraddy dufels the Wistick!" And she swept on upstairs to
-pack. And out of my life.</p>
-
-<p>And that's the way it was. Whatever malignant poison had seeped into
-the collective brain of the nation, it was certainly a devastating
-leveler of all sorts of institutions and values. Wives left husbands
-and husbands left wives. Joint bank accounts vanished. Families
-disintegrated. Wall street crumpled.</p>
-
-<p>Developments were swift and ominous. The Army split up into various
-groups. Most of the enlisted men favored the Moraddy, but the officers
-and older non-coms pledged the Wistickian faith. Their power was
-sufficient to hold many in line, but a considerable number in the lower
-ranks deserted and joined forces with the Moraddians, who held the
-eastern half of the country.</p>
-
-<p>The Wisticks ruled the western half with an iron hand, and all signs
-pointed toward civil war. Labor and military authorities conscripted
-the entire population regardless of age, sex or religious convictions.</p>
-
-<p>For my own part, I slipped away from the campus and fled north
-into the Oregon mountains. It was not that I was afraid to fight,
-but I rebelled at the absolute stupidity of the whole thing. The
-idea&mdash;fighting because of a few words!</p>
-
-<p>But they did.</p>
-
-<p>The destruction was frightful. However, it was not as bad as many had
-thought it would be. The forces of the Wistick leveled the city of New
-York, true, but it took three H-bombs to do the job, instead of one,
-as the Air Force had claimed. In retaliation, San Francisco and Los
-Angeles were destroyed in a single night by cleverly placed atom bombs
-smuggled in by a number of fifth-columnist wives who gained access to
-the cities under the pretext of returning to their husbands. This was
-a great victory for the Moraddians, even though the women had to blow
-themselves up to accomplish their mission.</p>
-
-<p>The Moraddian forces were slowly beaten back toward the Atlantic
-shores. They were very cunning fighters and they had youthful courage
-to implement that cunning. But their overall policy lacked the
-stability and long-range thinking necessary to the prosecution of total
-war. One day they might overrun many populous areas and the next day,
-due to the constant bickering and quarreling among their own armies,
-they would lose all they had won, and more, too.</p>
-
-<p>Finally, in desperation, they loosed their most horrible weapon, germ
-warfare. But they forgot to protect themselves against their own
-malignity. The Semantic War ground to a shuddering halt. The carrion
-smell of death lay round the world.</p>
-
-<p>The dufellation of the Wistick and the Moraddy.</p>
-
-<hr class="tb" />
-
-<p>So here I am, scuttling around in the forests like a lonely pack-rat.
-It is not the sort of life I would choose if there were any other
-choice. Yet life has become very simple.</p>
-
-<p>I enjoy the simple things and I enjoy them with gusto. When I find
-food that suits my stomach, I am happy. When I quench my thirst, I am
-happy. When I see a beautiful sunset from one of my mountain crags, I
-am happy. It takes little when you have little, and there have been few
-men who have had less.</p>
-
-<p>Only one thing troubles me. I suppose it doesn't matter, but I go on
-wondering.</p>
-
-<p>I wonder which side was right. I mean <i>really</i> right.</p>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Semantic War, by Bill Clothier
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-The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Semantic War, by Bill Clothier
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
-almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
-re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
-with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org/license
-
-
-Title: The Semantic War
-
-Author: Bill Clothier
-
-Release Date: February 8, 2016 [EBook #51153]
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: ASCII
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SEMANTIC WAR ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online
-Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- THE SEMANTIC WAR
-
- By BILL CLOTHIER
-
- Illustrated by WES
-
- [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
- Galaxy Science Fiction November 1955.
- Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
- the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
-
-
-
-
- Perhaps there have been causes for slaughter
- just as silly as this was--but try to find one!
-
-
-The rain pours down chill out of a sullen sky. My pace quickens as I
-try to regain the relative warmth and shelter of the cavern before I
-become thoroughly drenched. I cannot afford to catch a cold. All alone
-as I am and with no medicine, I would stand too great a chance of a
-quick death. These lowering Oregon skies still hold traces of nameless
-disease in their writhing cloud tendrils. I am not just afraid of
-a cold. That would only be the key for some other malady to use and
-strike me down forever.
-
-I see the cave up ahead and feel a sense of contentment as I draw near
-and then duck inside its stony mouth. The rain hisses without, but
-inside it is dry. There is a heavy cow-hide hanging on a peg in the
-wall and I take it down and wrap it around me. Soon I will be warm.
-Once more I may stave off my ultimate end.
-
-Sometimes I wonder why I wish to put it off. Certainly, according to my
-old standards, there is no point in living. But somehow I feel that the
-mere fact of living is justification in itself. Even for such a life as
-mine.
-
-I didn't always feel this way. But then circumstances change and people
-change with them. I changed my circumstances more than myself, but I
-had no alternative. So now I exist.
-
-I suppose I should be content. After all, I am alive and, in my own
-simple way, I enjoy life. I can remember people who asked nothing more
-than to be allowed to live--to exist. Ironically enough, I always
-considered them sub-normal. I felt that a man should strive to do
-something that would not only perpetuate the happiness of his own
-life but that of his fellow-men. Something that would make life more
-beautiful, and easier, and more kind.
-
- * * * * *
-
-It was with this feeling that I applied myself as a student of
-philosophy at Stanford University. And the strengthening of this same
-belief led me to take up teaching and embrace it as the only way of
-obtaining genuine happiness. My personal philosophy was simple. I
-would learn about life in all its real and symbolic meanings and then
-teach it to my pupils, each of whom, I felt sure, were thirsting for
-the knowledge that I was extracting from my cultural environment. I
-would show them the meaning behind things. That, I felt, was the key to
-successful living.
-
-Now it seems strangely pathetic that I should have essayed such an
-impossible task. But even a professor of philosophy can be mistaken and
-become confused.
-
-I remember when I first became aware of the movement. For years, we had
-been drilling certain precepts into the soft, impressionable heads of
-those students who came under our influence. Liberalism, some called
-it, the right to take the values accumulated by society over a period
-of hundreds of years and bend them to fit whatever idea or act was
-contemplated. By such methods, it was possible to fit the mores to the
-deed, not the deed to the mores. Oh, it was a wonderful theory, one
-that promised to project all human activities entirely beyond good and
-evil.
-
-However, I digress. It was a spring morning at Berkeley, California,
-when I had my first inkling of the movement. I was sitting in my office
-gazing out the window and considering life in my usual contemplative
-fashion. I might say I was being rather smug. I was thinking how
-fortunate I was to have been graduated from Stanford with such high
-honors, and how my good luck had stayed with me until I received my
-doctor's degree in a famous Eastern university and came out to take an
-associate professorship at the Berkeley campus.
-
-I was watching the hurrying figures below on the crosswalks and idly
-noting the brilliant green of the shrubbery and the trees and the lawn.
-I was mixing up Keats with a bit of philosophy and thoroughly enjoying
-myself. Knowledge is truth, truth beauty, I mused, that is all we know
-on Earth, and all we need to know.
-
-There was a knock on my door and I said come in, reluctantly abandoning
-my train of thought which had just picked up Shakespeare, whom I was
-going to consider as two-thirds philosopher and one-third poet. I
-have never felt that the field of literature had the sole claim to
-Shakespeare's greatness.
-
- * * * * *
-
-Professor Lillick came in, visibly perturbed. Lillick was a somewhat
-erratic individual (for a professor, at least) and he was often
-perturbed. Once he became excited about the possibilities of the campus
-shrubbery being stunted and discolored by the actions of certain dogs
-living on campus. He was not a philosophy professor, of course, but a
-member of the political science group.
-
-"Carlson," he asked nervously, "have you heard about it yet?"
-
-"I have no idea," I returned good-naturedly. "Heard about what?"
-
-He looked behind him as if he thought he might be followed. Then
-he whirled around, his sharp-featured face alight with feeling.
-"Carlson--the Wistick dufels the Moraddy!" And he stared at me
-intently, his gimlet eyes almost blazing.
-
-I stared back at him blankly.
-
-"You haven't heard!" he exclaimed. "I thought surely you would know
-about it. You're always talking about freedom to apply thought for the
-good of humanity. Well, we're finally going to do something about it.
-You'll see. Keep your ears open, Carlson." Then he turned and started
-out of the room. He paused at the threshold and fixed me again with
-his ferretlike eyes. "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!" he said, and
-vanished through the door.
-
-And that was my first unheeded omen of what was to come. I paid little
-attention to it. Lillick wasn't the sort of man who inspired attention.
-As a matter of fact, I considered reporting him to the head of his
-department as being on the verge of a nervous breakdown. But I didn't.
-In those days, nervous breakdowns were a common occurrence around
-college campuses. The educational profession was a very hazardous
-occupation. One Southern university, for example, reported five faculty
-suicides during spring quarter.
-
- * * * * *
-
-In the days that followed, however, I began to realize that there was
-some sort of movement being fostered by the student body. It couldn't
-be defined, but it could be felt and seen. The students began to form
-groups and hold meetings--often without official sanction. What they
-were about could not be discovered, but some of the results soon became
-evident.
-
-For one thing, certain students began to walk on one side of the
-street and the other students walked on the other side. The ones who
-used the north side of the street wore green sweaters with white
-trousers or skirts, and the south-side students wore white sweaters
-with green trousers or skirts. It even got to the point where those in
-green sweaters went only to classes in the morning and those in white
-attended the afternoon sessions.
-
-Then the little white cards began to appear. They were sent through
-the mail. They were slipped under doorways and in desk drawers. They
-turned up beside your plate at dinner and under your pillow at night.
-They were pasted on your front door in the morning and they appeared in
-the fly-leaves of your books. They were even hung on trees like fruit,
-and surely no fruit ever spored so queer a seedling.
-
-They said either one thing or the other: THE WISTICK DUFELS THE
-MORADDY, or THE MORADDY DUFELS THE WISTICK. Which card belonged to what
-group was not immediately clear. It was not until the riots broke out
-that the thing began to be seen in its proper perspective. And then it
-was too late.
-
-When the first riot started, it was assumed that the university
-officials and the police could quell it in a very short time. But
-strangely enough, as additional police were called in, the battle raged
-even more fiercely. I could see part of the affair from my window and
-therefore was able to understand why the increasing police force only
-added to the turmoil. They were fighting one another! And through the
-din could be heard the wild shouts of "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!"
-or "The Moraddy dufels the Wistick!"
-
-The final blow came when I saw the Registrar and the Dean of Men
-struggling fiercely in one of the hedge-rows, and heard the Dean of
-Men yell in wild exultation as he brought a briefcase down on the
-Registrar's head, "The Wistick dufels the Moraddy!"
-
-Then someone broke in through the door of my office. I turned in alarm
-and saw a huge three-letter man standing only a few feet from me. He
-had been in one of my classes. I remembered something about his being
-the hardest driving fullback on the Pacific coast. He was certainly the
-dumbest philosophy student I ever flunked. His hair was mussed and he
-was wild-eyed. He had blood on his face and chest, and his clothes were
-torn and grass-stained.
-
-"The Wistick dufels the Moraddy," he said.
-
-"Get out of my office," I told him coldly, "and stay out."
-
-"So you're on the other side," he snarled. "I hoped you would be."
-
-He started toward me and I seized a bookend on my desk and tried to
-strike him with it. But he brushed it aside and came on in. His first
-blow nearly broke my arm and as I dropped my guard due to the numbing
-pain, he struck me solidly on the side of the jaw.
-
-When I recovered consciousness, I was lying by the side of my desk
-where I had fallen. My head ached and my neck was stiff. I got
-painfully to my feet and then noticed the big square of cardboard
-pinned to the door of my office. It was lettered in red pencil and in
-past tense said, "The Wistick dufelled the Moraddy."
-
- * * * * *
-
-The uprisings arose spontaneously in all parts of the country. They
-were not confined to colleges. They were not confined to any particular
-group. They encompassed nearly the entire population and the fervor
-aroused by their battle-cry, whichever one it might be, was beyond all
-comprehension.
-
-I could not understand either slogan's meaning--and there were others
-like myself. On several occasions, I attempted to find out, but I was
-beaten twice and threatened with a pistol the third time, so I gave
-up all such efforts. I was never much given to any sort of physical
-violence.
-
-One night, I went home thoroughly disheartened by the state of affairs.
-The university was hardly functioning. Nearly the entire faculty,
-including the college president, had been drawn into one camp or the
-other. Their actions were utterly abhorrent to me. If the professor
-was a green-top, or Wistickian, he lectured only to green-tops. If he
-belonged to the Moraddians, or white-top faction, they were the only
-ones who could enter his classroom.
-
-The two groups were so evenly divided that open violence was frowned
-upon as a means of attaining whatever end they had in view. They were
-biding their time and gathering strength for fresh onslaughts on each
-other.
-
-As I say, I went home feeling very discouraged. My wife was in the
-kitchen preparing dinner, and I went in and sat down at the table while
-she worked. The daily paper was lying on the table, its headlines
-loaded with stories of bloodshed and strife throughout the nation. I
-glanced through them. Lately, there seemed to be a sort of pattern
-forming.
-
-East of the Mississippi, the general slogan was emerging as the Moraddy
-dufelling the Wistick. West of the Mississippi, the Wistick was
-receiving the greater support. And it seemed that the younger people
-and the women preferred the Moraddy, while elderly people and most men
-were on the side of the Wistick.
-
-I commented on this.
-
-My wife answered briefly, "Of course. Anyone should know that the
-Moraddy will win out." She went on with the preparations for dinner,
-not looking at me.
-
-I sat stunned for a moment. Great God in Heaven, not my wife!
-
-"Am I to understand that you are taking any part of this seriously?" I
-asked with some heat. "The whole thing is a horrible, pointless prank!"
-
-She turned and faced me squarely. "Not to me. I say the Moraddy
-will win out. I want it to--and I think you'd be wise to get on the
-bandwagon while there's still time."
-
-I realized she was serious. Dead serious. I tried a cautious query:
-
-"Just what does the dufellation of the Wistick by the Moraddy mean?"
-
- * * * * *
-
-And it made her angry. It actually made her angry! She switched off the
-front burner and walked past me into the living room. I didn't think
-she was going to answer, but she did--sort of.
-
-"There is no excuse for an egghead in your position not knowing what it
-means." Her voice was strained and tense. "If you had any perception
-whatever, you would understand what the Moraddy has to give the
-American people. It's our only hope. And you've got to take sides.
-You're either for the Moraddy or the Wistick--you can't take the middle
-way."
-
-I felt completely isolated. "Wait! I don't know what it means--"
-
-"Forget it," she broke in. "I should have known. You were born, you
-have lived, and you will die an egghead in an ivory tower. Just
-remember--the Moraddy dufels the Wistick!" And she swept on upstairs to
-pack. And out of my life.
-
-And that's the way it was. Whatever malignant poison had seeped into
-the collective brain of the nation, it was certainly a devastating
-leveler of all sorts of institutions and values. Wives left husbands
-and husbands left wives. Joint bank accounts vanished. Families
-disintegrated. Wall street crumpled.
-
-Developments were swift and ominous. The Army split up into various
-groups. Most of the enlisted men favored the Moraddy, but the officers
-and older non-coms pledged the Wistickian faith. Their power was
-sufficient to hold many in line, but a considerable number in the lower
-ranks deserted and joined forces with the Moraddians, who held the
-eastern half of the country.
-
-The Wisticks ruled the western half with an iron hand, and all signs
-pointed toward civil war. Labor and military authorities conscripted
-the entire population regardless of age, sex or religious convictions.
-
-For my own part, I slipped away from the campus and fled north
-into the Oregon mountains. It was not that I was afraid to fight,
-but I rebelled at the absolute stupidity of the whole thing. The
-idea--fighting because of a few words!
-
-But they did.
-
-The destruction was frightful. However, it was not as bad as many had
-thought it would be. The forces of the Wistick leveled the city of New
-York, true, but it took three H-bombs to do the job, instead of one,
-as the Air Force had claimed. In retaliation, San Francisco and Los
-Angeles were destroyed in a single night by cleverly placed atom bombs
-smuggled in by a number of fifth-columnist wives who gained access to
-the cities under the pretext of returning to their husbands. This was
-a great victory for the Moraddians, even though the women had to blow
-themselves up to accomplish their mission.
-
-The Moraddian forces were slowly beaten back toward the Atlantic
-shores. They were very cunning fighters and they had youthful courage
-to implement that cunning. But their overall policy lacked the
-stability and long-range thinking necessary to the prosecution of total
-war. One day they might overrun many populous areas and the next day,
-due to the constant bickering and quarreling among their own armies,
-they would lose all they had won, and more, too.
-
-Finally, in desperation, they loosed their most horrible weapon, germ
-warfare. But they forgot to protect themselves against their own
-malignity. The Semantic War ground to a shuddering halt. The carrion
-smell of death lay round the world.
-
-The dufellation of the Wistick and the Moraddy.
-
- * * * * *
-
-So here I am, scuttling around in the forests like a lonely pack-rat.
-It is not the sort of life I would choose if there were any other
-choice. Yet life has become very simple.
-
-I enjoy the simple things and I enjoy them with gusto. When I find
-food that suits my stomach, I am happy. When I quench my thirst, I am
-happy. When I see a beautiful sunset from one of my mountain crags, I
-am happy. It takes little when you have little, and there have been few
-men who have had less.
-
-Only one thing troubles me. I suppose it doesn't matter, but I go on
-wondering.
-
-I wonder which side was right. I mean _really_ right.
-
-
-
-
-
-End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Semantic War, by Bill Clothier
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