diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 4 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h.zip | bin | 383872 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/51126-h.htm | 1637 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/images/cover.jpg | bin | 96820 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/images/illus1.jpg | bin | 104037 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/images/illus2.jpg | bin | 39542 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/images/illus3.jpg | bin | 44381 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126-h/images/illus4.jpg | bin | 70874 -> 0 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126.txt | 1498 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/51126.zip | bin | 26908 -> 0 bytes |
12 files changed, 17 insertions, 3135 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..73085a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #51126 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51126) diff --git a/old/51126-h.zip b/old/51126-h.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 6824de1..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126-h/51126-h.htm b/old/51126-h/51126-h.htm deleted file mode 100644 index 370a650..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/51126-h.htm +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1637 +0,0 @@ -<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" - "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd"> -<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="en" lang="en"> - <head> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=us-ascii" /> - <meta http-equiv="Content-Style-Type" content="text/css" /> - <title> - The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Princess and the Physicist, by Evelyn E. Smith. - </title> - <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" /> - - <style type="text/css"> - -body { - margin-left: 10%; - margin-right: 10%; -} - - h1,h2 { - text-align: center; /* all headings centered */ - clear: both; -} - -p { - margin-top: .51em; - text-align: justify; - margin-bottom: .49em; -} - -hr { - width: 33%; - margin-top: 2em; - margin-bottom: 2em; - margin-left: 33.5%; - margin-right: 33.5%; - clear: both; -} - -hr.chap {width: 65%; margin-left: 17.5%; margin-right: 17.5%;} -hr.tb {width: 45%; margin-left: 27.5%; margin-right: 27.5%;} - -.center {text-align: center;} - -.right {text-align: right;} - -.caption {font-weight: bold;} - -/* Images */ -.figcenter { - margin: auto; - text-align: center; -} - -div.titlepage { - text-align: center; - page-break-before: always; - page-break-after: always; -} - -div.titlepage p { - text-align: center; - text-indent: 0em; - font-weight: bold; - line-height: 1.5; - margin-top: 3em; -} - -.ph1, .ph2, .ph3, .ph4 { text-align: center; text-indent: 0em; font-weight: bold; } -.ph1 { font-size: xx-large; margin: .67em auto; } -.ph2 { font-size: x-large; margin: .75em auto; } -.ph3 { font-size: large; margin: .83em auto; } -.ph4 { font-size: medium; margin: 1.12em auto; } - - - </style> - </head> -<body> - - -<pre> - -Project Gutenberg's The Princess and the Physicist, by Evelyn E. Smith - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: The Princess and the Physicist - -Author: Evelyn E. Smith - -Release Date: February 4, 2016 [EBook #51126] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS AND THE PHYSICIST *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="401" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="titlepage"> -<h1>The Princess and the Physicist</h1> - -<p>By EVELYN E. SMITH</p> - -<p>Illustrated by KOSSIN</p> - -<p>[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from<br /> -Galaxy Science Fiction June 1955.<br /> -Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that<br /> -the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]</p> - -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p class="ph3"><i>Elected a god, Zen the Omnipotent longed<br /> -for supernatural powers—for he was also<br /> -Zen the All-Put-Upon, a galactic sucker!</i></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>Zen the Terrible lay quiescent in the secret retreat which housed his -corporeal being, all the aspects of his personality wallowing in the -luxury of a day off. How glad he was that he'd had the forethought to -stipulate a weekly holiday for himself when first this godhood had -been thrust upon him, hundreds of centuries before. He'd accepted the -perquisites of divinity with pleasure then. It was some little time -before he discovered its drawbacks, and by then it was too late; he had -become the established church.</p> - -<p>All the aspects of his personality rested ... save one, that is. And -that one, stretching out an impalpable tendril of curiosity, brought -back to his total consciousness the news that a spaceship from Earth -had arrived when no ship from Earth was due.</p> - -<p><i>So what?</i> the total consciousness asked lazily of itself. <i>Probably -they have a large out-of-season order for hajench. My hajench going to -provide salad bowls for barbarians!</i></p> - -<p>When, twenty years previously, the Earthmen had come back to their -colony on Uxen after a lapse of thousands of years, Zen had been -hopeful that they would take some of the Divine Work off his hands. -After all, since it was they who had originally established the -colony, it should be their responsibility. But it seemed that all -humans, not merely the Uxenach, were irresponsible. The Earthmen were -interested only in trade and tribute. They even refused to believe in -the existence of Zen, an attitude which he found extremely irritating -to his ego.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>True, Uxen prospered commercially to a mild extent after their return, -for the local ceramics that had been developed in the long interval -found wide acceptance throughout the Galaxy, particularly the low bowls -which had hitherto been used only for burning incense before Zen the -Formidable.</p> - -<p>Now every two-bit planet offered hajench in its gift shops.</p> - -<p>Culturally, though, Uxen had degenerated under the new Earth -administration. No more criminals were thrown to the skwitch. Xwoosh -lost its interest when new laws prohibited the ancient custom of -executing the losing side after each game.</p> - -<p>There was no tourist trade, for the planet was too far from the rest -of the Galaxy. The commercial spaceships came only once every three -months and left the same day. The two destroyers that "guarded" the -planet arrived at rare intervals for fueling or repairs, but the crew -never had anything to do with the Uxenach. Local ordinance forbade the -maidens of Uxen to speak to the outlanders, and the outlanders were not -interested in any of the other native products.</p> - -<p>But the last commercial spaceship had departed less than three weeks -before on its regular run, and this was not one of the guard ships.</p> - -<p>Zen reluctantly conceded to himself that he would have to investigate -this situation further, if he wanted to retain his reputation for -omniscience. Sometimes, in an occasional moment of self-doubt, he -wondered if he weren't too much of a perfectionist, but then he -rejected the thought as self-sacrilege.</p> - -<p>Zen dutifully intensified the beam of awareness and returned it to the -audience chamber where the two strange Earthmen who had come on the -ship were being ushered into the presence of the king by none other -than Guj, the venerable prime minister himself.</p> - -<p>"Gentlemen," Guj beamed, his long white beard vibrating in an excess of -hospitality, "His Gracious Majesty will be delighted to receive you at -once."</p> - -<p>And crossing his wrists in the secular xa, he led the way to where Uxlu -the Fifteenth was seated in full regalia upon his imposing golden, -gem-encrusted throne.</p> - -<p>Uxlu himself, Zen admitted grudgingly, was an imposing sight to anyone -who didn't know the old yio. The years—for he was a scant decade -younger than Guj—had merely lent dignity to his handsome features, and -he was still tall and upright.</p> - -<p>"Welcome, Earthlings, to Uxen," King Uxlu said in the sonorous tones of -the practiced public speaker. "If there is aught we can do to advance -your comfort whilst you sojourn on our little planet, you have but to -speak."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus1.jpg" width="600" height="390" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>He did not, Zen noted with approval, rashly promise that requests -would necessarily be granted. Which was fine, because the god well -knew who the carrier out of requests would be—Zen the Almighty, the -All-Powerful, the All-Put-Upon....</p> - -<p>"Thank you, Your Majesty," the older of the two scientists said. "We -merely seek a retired spot in which to conduct our researches."</p> - -<p>"Researches, eh?" the king repeated with warm interest. "Are you -perhaps scientists?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Your Majesty." Every one of Zen's perceptors quivered -expectantly. Earth science was banned on Uxen, with the result that its -acquisition had become the golden dream of every Uxena, including, of -course, their god.</p> - -<p>The older scientist gave a stiff bow. "I am an anthropologist. My -name is Kendrick, Professor Alpheus Kendrick. My assistant, Dr. Peter -Hammond—" he indicated the tall young man with him—"is a physicist."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The king and the prime minister conferred together in whispers. Zen -wished he could join them, but he couldn't materialize on that plane -without incense, and he preferred his subjects not to know that he -could be invisibly present, especially on his day off. Of course, his -Immaterial Omnipresence was a part of the accepted dogma, but there is -a big difference between accepting a concept on a basis of faith or of -proven fact.</p> - -<p>"Curious researches," the king said, emerging from the conference, -"that require both physics <i>and</i> anthropology."</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Kendrick. "They are rather involved at that." Peter Hammond -shuffled his feet.</p> - -<p>"Perhaps some of our technicians might be of assistance to you," the -king suggested. "They may not have your science, but they are very -adept with their hands...."</p> - -<p>"Our researches are rather limited in scope," Kendrick assured him. "We -can do everything needful quite adequately ourselves. All we need is a -place in which to do it."</p> - -<p>"You shall have our own second-best palace," the king said graciously. -"It has both hot and cold water laid on, as well as central heating."</p> - -<p>"We've brought along our own collapsible laboratory-dwelling," Kendrick -explained. "We just want a spot to set it up."</p> - -<p>Uxlu sighed. "The royal parks are at your disposal. You will -undoubtedly require servants?"</p> - -<p>"We have a robot, thanks."</p> - -<p>"A robot is a mechanical man who does all our housework," Hammond, more -courteous than his superior, explained. Zen wondered how he could ever -have felt a moment's uneasiness concerning these wonderful strangers.</p> - -<p>"Zen will be interested to hear of this," the prime minister said -cannily. He and the king nodded at one another.</p> - -<p>"<i>Who</i> did you say?" Kendrick asked eagerly.</p> - -<p>"Zen the Terrible," the king repeated, "Zen the All-Powerful, Zen the -Encyclopedic. Surely you have heard of him?" he asked in some surprise. -"He's Uxen's own particular, personal and private god, exclusive to our -planet."</p> - -<p>"Yes, yes, of course I've heard about him," Kendrick said, trembling -with hardly repressed excitement.</p> - -<p><i>What a correct attitude!</i> Zen thought. <i>One rarely finds such -religious respect among foreigners.</i></p> - -<p>"In fact, I've heard a great deal about him and I should like to know -even more!" Kendrick spoke almost reverently.</p> - -<p>"He <i>is</i> an extremely interesting divinity," the king replied -complacently. "And if your robot cannot teleport or requires a hand -with the heavy work, do not hesitate to call on Zen the Accommodating. -We'll detail a priest to summon—"</p> - -<p>"The robot manages very well all by itself, thank you," Kendrick said -quickly.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In his hideaway, the material body of Zen breathed a vast multiple sigh -of relief. He was getting to like these Earthmen more and more by the -minute.</p> - -<p>"Might I inquire," the king asked, "into the nature of your researches?"</p> - -<p>"An investigation of the prevalent nuclear ritual beliefs on Uxen in -relation to the over-all matrix of social culture, and we really must -get along and see to the unloading of the ship. Good-by, Your -Majesty ... Your Excellency." And Kendrick dragged his protesting aide -off.</p> - -<p>"If only," said the king, "I were still an absolute monarch, I would -teach these Earthlings some manners." His face grew wistful. "Well I -remember how my father would have those who crossed him torn apart by -wild skwitch."</p> - -<p>"If you did have the Earthlings torn apart by wild skwitch, Sire," Guj -pointed out, "then you would certainly never be able to obtain any -information from them."</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus2.jpg" width="172" height="500" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<p>Uxlu sighed. "I would merely have them torn apart a little—just enough -so that they would answer a few civil questions." He sighed again. -"And, supposing they did happen to—er—pass on, in the process, think -of the tremendous lift to my ego. But nobody thinks of the king's ego -any more these days."</p> - -<p>No, things were not what they had been since the time the planet had -been retrieved by the Earthlings. They had not communicated with Uxen -for so many hundreds of years, they had explained, because, after a -more than ordinarily disastrous war, they had lost the secret of space -travel for centuries.</p> - -<p>Now, wanting to make amends for those long years of neglect, they -immediately provided that the Earth language and the Earth income tax -become mandatory upon Uxen. The language was taught by recordings. -Since the Uxenach were a highly intelligent people, they had all -learned it quickly and forgotten most of their native tongue except for -a few untranslatable concepts.</p> - -<p>"Must be a new secret atomic weapon they're working on," Uxlu decided. -"Why else should they come to such a remote corner of the Galaxy? And -you will recall that the older one—Kendrick—said something about -nuclear beliefs. If only we could discover what it is, secure it for -ourselves, perhaps we could defeat the Earthmen, drive them away—" he -sighed for the third time that morning—"and rule the planet ourselves."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Just then the crown princess Iximi entered the throne room. Iximi -really lived up to her title of Most Fair and Exalted, for centuries -of selective breeding under which the kings of Uxen had seized the -loveliest women of the planet for their wives had resulted in an -outstanding pulchritude. Her hair was as golden as the ripe fruit that -bent the boughs of the iolo tree, and her eyes were bluer than the uriz -stones on the belt girdling her slender waist. Reproductions of the -famous portrait of her which hung in the great hall of the palace were -very popular on calendars.</p> - -<p>"My father grieves," she observed, making the secular xa. "Pray tell -your unworthy daughter what sorrow racks your noble bosom."</p> - -<p>"Uxen is a backwash," her father mourned. "A planet forgotten, while -the rest of the Galaxy goes by. Our ego has reached its nadir."</p> - -<p>"Why did you let yourself be conquered?" the princess retorted -scornfully. "Ah, had I been old enough to speak then, matters would be -very different today!" Although she seemed too beautiful to be endowed -with brains, Iximi had been graduated from the Royal University with -high honors.</p> - -<p>Zen the Erudite was particularly fond of her, for she had been his best -student in Advanced Theology. She was, moreover, an ardent patriot and -leader of the underground Moolai (free) Uxen movement, with which Zen -was more or less in sympathy, since he felt Uxen belonged to him and -not to the Earthlings. After all, he had been there first.</p> - -<p>"<i>Let</i> ourselves be conquered!" Her father's voice rose to a squeak. -"<i>Let</i> ourselves! Nobody asked us—we <i>were</i> conquered."</p> - -<p>"True, but we could at least have essayed our strength against the -conquerors instead of capitulating like yioch. We could have fought to -the last man!"</p> - -<p>"A woman is always ready to fight to the last man," Guj commented.</p> - -<p>"Did you hear that, ancient and revered parent! He called me, a -princess of the blood, a—a woman!"</p> - -<p>"We are all equal before Zen," Guj said sententiously, making the high -xa.</p> - -<p>"Praise Zen," Uxlu and Iximi chanted perfunctorily, bowing low.</p> - -<p>Iximi, still angry, ordered Guj—who was also high priest—to start -services. Kindling the incense in the hajen, he began the chant.</p> - -<p>Of course it was his holiday, but Zen couldn't resist the appeal of -the incense. Besides he was there anyway, so it was really no trouble, -<i>no trouble</i>, he thought, greedily sniffing the delicious aroma, <i>at -all</i>. He materialized a head with seven nostrils so that he was able to -inhale the incense in one delectable gulp. Then, "No prayers answered -on Thursday," he said, and disappeared. That would show them!</p> - -<p>"Drat Zen and his days off!" The princess was in a fury. "Very well, -we'll manage without Zen the Spiteful. Now, precisely what is troubling -you, worthy and undeservedly Honored Parent?"</p> - -<p>"Those two scientists who arrived from Earth. Didn't you meet them -when you came in?"</p> - -<p>"No, Respected Father," she said, sitting on the arm of the throne. "I -must have just missed them. What are they like?"</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>He told her what they were like in terms not even a monarch should use -before his daughter. "And these squuch," he concluded, "are undoubtedly -working on a secret weapon. If we had it, we could free Uxen."</p> - -<p>"Moolai Uxen!" the princess shouted, standing up. "My friends, must we -continue to submit to the yoke of the tyrant? Arise. Smite the...."</p> - -<p>"Anyone," said Guj, "can make a speech."</p> - -<p>The princess sat on the steps of the throne and pondered. "Obviously we -must introduce a spy into their household to learn their science and -turn it to our advantage."</p> - -<p>"They are very careful, those Earthlings," Guj informed her -superciliously. "It is obvious that they do not intend to let any of us -come near them."</p> - -<p>The princess gave a knowing smile. "But they undoubtedly will need at -least one menial to care for their dwelling. I shall be that menial. I, -Iximi, will so demean myself for the sake of my planet! Moolai Uxen!"</p> - -<p>"You cannot do it, Iximi," her father said, distressed. "You must not -defile yourself so. I will not hear of it!"</p> - -<p>"And besides," Guj interposed, "they will need no servants. All their -housework is to be done by their robot—a mechanical man that performs -all menial duties. And you, Your Royal Highness, could not plausibly -disguise yourself as a machine."</p> - -<p>"No-o-o-o, I expect not." The princess hugged the rosy knees -revealed by her brief tunic and thought aloud, "But ... just ... -supposing ... something ... went wrong with the robot.... They do -not possess another?"</p> - -<p>"They referred only to one, Highness," Guj replied reluctantly. "But -they may have the parts with which to construct another."</p> - -<p>"Nonetheless, it is well worth the attempt," the princess declared. -"You will cast a spell on the robot, Guj, so that it stops."</p> - -<p>He sighed. "Very well, Your Highness; I suppose I could manage that!"</p> - -<p>Making the secular xa, he left the royal pair. Outside, his voice could -be heard bellowing in the anteroom, "Has any one of you squuch seen my -pliers?"</p> - -<p>"There is no need for worry, Venerated Ancestor," the princess assured -the monarch. "All-Helpful Zen will aid me with my tasks."</p> - -<p>Far away in his arcane retreat, the divinity groaned to himself.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Another aspect of Zen's personality followed the two Earthmen as they -left the palace to supervise the erection of their prefab by the crew -of the spaceship in one of the Royal Parks. A vast crowd of Uxenach -gathered to watch the novelty, and among them there presently appeared -a sinister-looking old man with a red beard, whom Zen the Pansophic had -no difficulty in recognizing as the prime minister, heavily disguised. -Of course it would have been no trouble for Zen to carry out Guj's -mission for him, but he believed in self-help—especially on Thursdays.</p> - -<p>"You certainly fixed us up fine!" Hammond muttered disrespectfully to -the professor. "You should've told the king we were inventing a vacuum -cleaner or something. Now they'll just be more curious than ever.... -And I still don't see why you refused the priest. Seems to me he'd be -just what you needed."</p> - -<p>"Yes, and the first to catch on to why we're here. We mustn't -antagonize the natives; these closed groups are so apt to resent any -investigation into their mythos."</p> - -<p>"If it's all mythical, why do you need a scientist then?"</p> - -<p>"A physical scientist, you mean," Kendrick said austerely. "For -anthropology is a science, too, you know."</p> - -<p>Peter snorted.</p> - -<p>"Some Earthmen claim actually to have seen these alleged -manifestations," Kendrick went on to explain, "in which case there must -be some kind of mechanical trickery involved—which is where you come -in. Of course I would have preferred an engineer to help me, but you -were all I could get from the government."</p> - -<p>"And you wouldn't have got me either, if the Minister of Science didn't -have it in for me!" Peter said irately. "I'm far too good for this -piddling little job, and you know it. If it weren't for envy in high -places—"</p> - -<p>"Better watch out," the professor warned, "or the Minister might decide -you're too good for science altogether, and you'll be switched to a -position more in keeping with your talents—say, as a Refuse Removal -Agent."</p> - -<p><i>And what is wrong with the honored art of Refuse Removal?</i> Zen -wondered. There were a lot of mystifying things about these Earthmen.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The scientists' quaint little edifice was finally set up, and the -spaceship took its departure. It was only then that the Earthmen -discovered that something they called cigarettes couldn't be found in -the welter of packages, and that the robot wouldn't cook dinner or, in -fact, do anything. <i>Good old Guj</i>, Zen thought.</p> - -<p>"I can't figure out what's gone wrong," Peter complained, as he -finished putting the mechanical man together again. "Everything seems -to be all right, and yet the damned thing won't function."</p> - -<p>"Looks as if we'll have to do the housework ourselves, confound it!"</p> - -<p>"Uh-uh," Peter said. "You can, but not me. The Earth government put me -under your orders so far as this project is concerned, sir, but I'm not -supposed to do anything degrading, sir, and menial work is classified -as just that, sir, so—"</p> - -<p>"All right, all <i>right</i>!" Kendrick said. "Though it seems to me if -<i>I'm</i> willing to do it, <i>you</i> should have no objection."</p> - -<p>"It's your project, sir. I gathered from the king, though," Peter -added more helpfully, "that some of the natives still do menial labor -themselves."</p> - -<p>"How disgusting that there should still be a planet so backward that -human beings should be forced to do humiliating tasks," Kendrick said.</p> - -<p><i>You don't know the half of it, either</i>, Zen thought, shocked all the -way back to his physical being. It had never occurred to him that the -functions of gods on other planets might be different than on Uxen ... -unless the Earthlings failed to pay reverence to their own gods, which -seemed unlikely in view of the respectful way with which Professor -Kendrick had greeted the mention of Zen's Awe-Inspiring Name. Then -Refuse Removal was not necessarily a divine prerogative.</p> - -<p><i>Those first colonists were very clever</i>, Zen thought bitterly, -<i>sweet-talking me into becoming a god and doing all their dirty work. -I was happy here as the Only Inhabitant; why did I ever let those -interlopers involve me in Theolatry? But I can't quit now. The Uxenach -need Me ... and I need incense; I'm fettered by my own weakness. Still, -I have the glimmerings of an idea....</i></p> - -<p>"Oh, how much could a half-witted menial find out?" Peter demanded. -"Remember, it's either a native servant, sir, or you do the housework -yourself."</p> - -<p>"All right," Kendrick agreed gloomily. "We'll try one of the natives."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>So the next day, still attended by the Unseen Presence of Zen, they -sought audience with the prime minister.</p> - -<p>"Welcome, Earthmen, to the humble apartments of His Majesty's most -unimportant subject," Guj greeted them, making a very small xa as he -led them into the largest reception room.</p> - -<p>Kendrick absently ran his finger over the undercarving of a small gold -table. "Look, no dust," he whispered. "Must have excellent help here."</p> - -<p>Zen couldn't help preening just a bit. At least he did his work well; -no one could gainsay that.</p> - -<p>"Your desire," Guj went on, apparently anxious to get to the point, "is -my command. Would you like a rojh of dancing girls to perform before -you or—?"</p> - -<p>"The king said something yesterday about servants being available," -Kendrick interrupted. "And our robot seems to have broken down. Could -you tell us where we could get someone to do our housework?"</p> - -<p>An expression of vivid pleasure illuminated the prime minister's -venerable countenance. "By fortunate chance, gentlemen, a small lot of -maids is to be auctioned off at a village very near the Imperial City -tomorrow. I should be delighted to escort you there personally."</p> - -<p>"Auctioned?" Kendrick repeated. "You mean they <i>sell</i> servants here?"</p> - -<p>Guj raised his snowy eyebrows. "Sold? Certainly not; they are leased -for two years apiece. After all, if you have no lease, what guarantee -do you have that your servants will stay after you have trained them? -None whatsoever."</p> - -<p>When the two scientists had gone, Iximi emerged from behind a -bright-colored tapestry depicting Zen in seven hundred and fifty-three -of his Attributes.</p> - -<p>"The younger one is not at all bad-looking," she commented, patting her -hair into place. "I do like big blond men. Perhaps my task will not be -as unpleasant as I fancied."</p> - -<p>Guj stroked his beard. "How do you know the Earthlings will select -<i>you</i>, Your Highness? Many other maids will be auctioned off at the -same time."</p> - -<p>The princess stiffened angrily. "They'll pick me or they'll never leave -Uxen alive and you, Your Excellency, would not outlive them."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Although it meant he had to overwork the other aspects of his multiple -personality, Zen kept one free so that the next day he could join -the Earthmen—in spirit, that was—on their excursion in search of a -menial.</p> - -<p>"If, as an anthropologist, you are interested in local folkways, -Professor," Guj remarked graciously, as he and the scientists piled -into a scarlet, boat-shaped vehicle, "you will find much to attract -your attention in this quaint little planet of ours."</p> - -<p>"Are the eyes painted on front of the car to ward off demons?" Kendrick -asked.</p> - -<p>"Car? Oh, you mean the yio!" Guj patted the forepart of the vehicle. -It purred and fluttered long eyelashes. "We breed an especially bouncy -strain with seats; they're so much more comfortable, you know."</p> - -<p>"You mean this is a <i>live</i> animal?"</p> - -<p>Guj nodded apologetically. "Of course it does not go very fast. Now if -we had the atomic power drive, such as your spaceships have—"</p> - -<p>"You'd shoot right off into space," Hammond assured him.</p> - -<p>"Speed," said Kendrick, "is the curse of modern civilization. Be glad -you still retain some of the old-fashioned graces here on Uxen. You -see," he whispered to his assistant, "a clear case of magico-religious -culture-freezing, resulting in a static society unable to advance -itself, comes of its implicit reliance upon the powers of an omnipotent -deity."</p> - -<p>Zen took some time to figure this out. <i>But that's right!</i> he -concluded, in surprise.</p> - -<p>"I thought your god teleported things?" Peter asked Guj. "How come he -doesn't teleport you around, if you're in such a hurry to go places?"</p> - -<p>Kendrick glared at him. "Please remember that I'm the anthropologist," -he hissed. "You have got to know how to describe the Transcendental -Personality with the proper respect."</p> - -<p>"We don't have Zen teleport animate objects," the prime minister -explained affably. "Or even inanimate ones if they are fragile. -For He tends to lose His Temper sometimes when He feels that He is -overworked—" <i>Feels, indeed!</i> Zen said to himself—"and throws things -about. We cannot reprove Him for His misbehavior. After all, a god is a -god."</p> - -<p>"The apparent irreverence," Kendrick explained in an undertone, -"undoubtedly signifies that he is dealing with ancillary or, perhaps, -peripheral religious beliefs. I must make a note of them." He did so.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>By the time the royal yio had arrived at the village where the -planetary auctions for domestics were held, the maids were already -arranged in a row on the platform. Most were depressingly plain -creatures and dressed in thick sacklike tunics. Among them, the -graceful form of Iximi was conspicuous, clad in a garment similar in -cut but fashioned of translucent gauze almost as blue as her eyes.</p> - -<p>Peter straightened his tie and assumed a much more cheerful expression. -"Let's rent <i>that one</i>!" he exclaimed, pointing to the princess.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus3.jpg" width="600" height="228" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - - -<p>"Nonsense!" Kendrick told him. "In the first place, she is obviously -the most expensive model. Secondly, she would be too distracting -for you. And, finally, a pretty girl is never as good a worker as a -plain.... We'll take that one." The professor pointed to the dumpiest -and oldest of the women. "How much should I offer to start, Your -Excellency? No sense beginning the bidding too high. We Earthmen aren't -made of money, in spite of what the rest of the Galaxy seems to think."</p> - -<p>"A hundred credits is standard," Guj murmured. "However, sir, there is -one problem—have you considered how you are going to communicate with -your maid?"</p> - -<p>"Communicate? Are they mutes?"</p> - -<p>"No, but very few of these women speak Earth." A look of surprise -flitted over the faces of the servants, vanishing as her royal highness -glared at them.</p> - -<p>Kendrick pursed thin lips. "I was under the impression that the Earth -language was mandatory on Uxen."</p> - -<p>"Oh, it is; it is, indeed!" Guj said hastily. "However, it is so -hard to teach these backward peasants new ways." One of the backward -peasants gave a loud sniff, which changed to a squeal as she was -honored with a pinch from the hand of royalty. "But you will not betray -us? We are making rapid advances and before long we hope to make Earth -universal."</p> - -<p>"Of course we won't," Peter put in, before Kendrick had a chance to -reply. "What's more, I don't see why the Uxenians shouldn't be allowed -to speak their own language."</p> - -<p>The princess gave him a dazzling smile. "Moolai Uxen! We must not allow -the beautiful Uxulk tongue to fall into desuetude. Bring back our -lovely language!"</p> - -<p>Guj gestured desperately. She tossed her head, but stopped.</p> - -<p>"Please, Kendrick," Peter begged, "we've got to buy that one!"</p> - -<p>"Certainly not. You can see she's a troublemaker. Do you speak Earth?" -the professor demanded of the maid he had chosen.</p> - -<p>"No speak," she replied.</p> - -<p>Peter tugged at his superior's sleeve. "That one speaks Earth."</p> - -<p>Kendrick shook him off. "Do you speak Earth?" he demanded of the second -oldest and ugliest. She shook her head. The others went through the -same procedure.</p> - -<p>"It looks," Peter said, grinning, "as if we'll have to take mine."</p> - -<p>"I suppose so," Kendrick agreed gloomily, "but somehow I feel no good -will come of this."</p> - -<p>Zen wondered whether Earthmen had powers of precognition.</p> - -<p>No one bid against them, so they took a two-year lease on the crown -princess for the very reasonable price of a hundred credits, and drove -her home with them.</p> - -<p>Iximi gazed at the little prefab with disfavor. "But why are we halting -outside this gluu hutch, masters?"</p> - -<p>Guj cleared his throat. "Sirs, I wish you joy." He made the secular xa. -"Should you ever be in need again, do not hesitate to get in touch with -me at the palace." And, climbing into the yio, he was off.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The others entered the small dwelling. "That little trip certainly gave -me an appetite," Kendrick said, rubbing his hands together. "Iximi, you -had better start lunch right away. This is the kitchen."</p> - -<p>Iximi gazed around the cubicle with disfavor. "Truly it is not much," -she observed. "However, masters, if you will leave me, I shall endeavor -to do my poor best."</p> - -<p>"Let me show you—" Peter began, but Kendrick interrupted.</p> - -<p>"Leave the girl alone, Hammond. She must be able to cook, if she's a -professional servant. We've wasted the whole morning as it is; maybe we -can get something done before lunch."</p> - -<p>Iximi closed the door, got out her portable altar—all members of the -royal family were qualified members of the priesthood, though they -seldom practiced—and in a low voice, for the door and walls were -thin, summoned Zen the All-Capable.</p> - -<p>The god sighed as he materialized his head. "I might have known you -would require Me. What is your will, oh Most Fair?"</p> - -<p>"I have been ordered to prepare the strangers' midday repast, oh -Puissant One, and I know not what to do with all this ukh, which they -assure me is their food." And she pointed scornfully to the cans and -jars and packages.</p> - -<p>"How should <i>I</i> know then?" Zen asked unguardedly.</p> - -<p>The princess looked at him. "Surely Zen the All-Knowing jests?"</p> - -<p>"Er—yes. Merely having My Bit of Fun, you know." He hastily inspected -the exterior of the alleged foods. "There appear to be legends -inscribed upon the containers. Perchance, were we to read them, they -might give a clue as to their contents."</p> - -<p>"Oh, Omniscent One," the princess exclaimed, "truly You are Wise and -Sapient indeed, and it is I who was the fool to have doubted for so -much as an instant."</p> - -<p>"Oh you doubted, did you?" Terrible Zen frowned terribly. "Well, see -that it doesn't happen again." He had no intention of losing his divine -authority at this stage of the game.</p> - -<p>"Your Will is mine, All-Wise One. And I think You had best materialize -a few pair of arms as well as Your August and Awe-inspiring -Countenance, for there is much work to be done."</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Since the partitions were thin, Zen and the princess could hear most of -the conversation in the main room. "... First thing to do," Kendrick's -voice remarked, "is find out whether we're permitted to attend one -of their religious ceremonies, where Zen is said to manifest himself -actually and not, it is contended, just symbolically...."</p> - -<p>"The stove is here, Almighty," the princess suggested, "not against the -door where you are pressing Your Divine Ear."</p> - -<p>"Shhh. What I hear is fraught with import for the future of the planet. -Moolai Uxen."</p> - -<p>"Moolai Uxen," the princess replied automatically.</p> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<div class="figcenter"> - <img src="images/illus4.jpg" width="600" height="312" alt=""/> -</div> - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<p>"... I wonder how hard it'll be to crash the services," Kendrick went -on. "Most primitives don't like outsiders present at their ritual -activities."</p> - -<p>"Especially if there <i>are</i> actual manifestations of their god," -Hammond contributed. "That would mean the priests are up to some sort -of trickery, and they wouldn't care to run the risk of having us see -through—"</p> - -<p>He was interrupted by a loud crash from the kitchen.</p> - -<p>"Are you all right, Iximi!" he yelled. "Need any help?"</p> - -<p>"All is well!" she called back. "But, I pray you, do not enter, -masters. The reverberation was part of a rite designed to deflect evil -spirits from the food. Were a heretic to be present or interrupt the -ceremonies, the spell would be voided and the food contaminated."</p> - -<p>"Okay!" Peter returned and, in a lower tone, which he probably thought -she could not overhear, "Seems you were right."</p> - -<p>"Naturally." There was complacency in the professor's voice. "And now -let us consider the validating features of the social structure as -related to the mythos—and, of course, the ethos, where the two are not -coincident—of the Uxenians...."</p> - -<p>"Imagine," Zen complained in the kitchen, "accusing <i>Me</i> of being a -mere trick of the priesthood—Supreme Me!"</p> - -<p>"Supreme Butterfingers!" the princess snapped, irritation driving her -to the point of sacrilege. "You spilled that red stuff, the ..." she -bent over to read the legend on the container "... the ketchup all over -the floor!"</p> - -<p>"The floor is relatively clean," Zen murmured abstractedly. "We can -scoop up the substance and incorporate it in whatever dainty dish we -prepare for the Earthlings' repast. Now they'll think that I, Zen the -Accessible, am difficult to have audience with," he mourned, "whereas I -was particularly anxious to hold converse with them and discover what -quest brings them to Uxen. That is," he added hastily, remembering he -was omniscient, "just how they would justify its rationale."</p> - -<p>"Shall we get on with our culinary activities, Almighty One?" Iximi -asked coldly.</p> - -<p>If the Most Fair and Exalted had a flaw, Zen thought, it was a -one-track mind.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>"What in hell did you put in this, Iximi?" Kendrick demanded, after -one taste of the steaming casserole of food which she had set proudly -before the two Earthmen.</p> - -<p>"Ketchup, that's for sure...." Peter murmured, rolling a mouthful -around his tongue as he sought to separate its component flavors. "And -rhubarb, I should say."</p> - -<p>"Dried fish and garlic...." Kendrick made further identifications.</p> - -<p>"And a comestible called marshmallow," Iximi beamed. "You like it? I am -<i>so</i> glad!"</p> - -<p>"I do <i>not</i>—" Kendrick began, but Peter intervened.</p> - -<p>"It's very nice, Iximi," he said tactfully, "but I guess we're just -used to old run-of-the-mill Earth cooking. It's all our fault; we -should have given you a recipe."</p> - -<p>"I had a recipe," Iximi returned. "It came to me by Divine Inspiration."</p> - -<p>Kendrick compressed his lips.</p> - -<p>"Useful sort of divinity they have around here," Peter said. -"Everything that goes wrong seems to take place in the name of -religion. Are you sure you didn't happen to overhear us talking before, -Iximi?"</p> - -<p>"Don't be silly, Hammond!" Kendrick snapped. "These simple primitives -do not have the sophistication to use their religious beliefs -consciously as rationalization for their incompetence."</p> - -<p>"Even had I wished to eavesdrop," Iximi said haughtily, "I would hardly -have had the opportunity; I was too busy trying to prepare a palatable -repast for you and—" her voice broke—"you didn't like it."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I did like it, Iximi!" Peter protested. "It's just that I'm -allergic to rhubarb."</p> - -<p>"Wait!" she exclaimed, smiling again. "For dessert I have an especial -surprise for you." She brought in a dish triumphantly. "Is this not -just how you have it on Earth?"</p> - -<p>"Stewed cigarettes with whipped cream," Kendrick muttered. "Stewed -cigarettes! Where on Ear—on Uxen did you find them?"</p> - -<p>"In a large box with the other puddings," she beamed. "Is it not highly -succulent and flavorful?"</p> - -<p>The two scientists sprang from their chairs and dashed into the -kitchen. Iximi stared after them. When they returned, they looked much -more cheerful. They seated themselves, and soon fragrant clouds of -smoke began to curl toward the ceiling.</p> - -<p><i>They are calling me at last</i>, Zen thought happily, <i>and with such -delightful incense! Who wants chants anyway?</i></p> - -<p>"But what are you <i>doing</i>!" the princess shrieked.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Zen hastened to manifest himself, complete with fourteen nostrils, -before she could spoil everything. "The procedure is most unorthodox," -he murmured aloud, "but truly this new incense has a most delicious -aroma, extremely pleasing to My Ego. What is your will, oh, strangers?"</p> - -<p>"All-Merciful Zen," the princess pleaded, "forgive them, for they knew -not what they did. They did not mean to summon You."</p> - -<p>"Then who," asked Zen in a terrible voice, "is this wonderful smoke -for? Some foreign god whom they worship on My Territory?" And he -wouldn't put it past them either.</p> - -<p>Peter looked at the anthropologist, but Kendrick was obviously -too paralyzed with fright to speak. "As a matter of fact, -Your—er—Omnipotence," the physicist said haltingly, "this is not part -of our religious ritual. We burn this particular type of incense which -we call tobacco, for our own pleasure."</p> - -<p>"In other words," Zen said coldly, "you worship yourselves. I work and -slave My Godhood to the bone only to have egotists running all over My -Planet."</p> - -<p>"No, it's nothing like that at all," Kendrick quavered. "We smoke the -tobacco to—well—gratify our appetites. Like—like eating, you know."</p> - -<p>"Well, you will have to forego that pleasure," Zen said, frowning -terribly. Even the tall one cowered, he noted with appreciation. It had -been a long time since people had really cringed before his frown. The -Uxenach had come to take him too much for granted; they would learn -their mistake. "From now on," he said portentously, "the tobacco must -be reserved for My Use alone. Smoke it only for purposes of worship. -Once a day will be sufficient," he added graciously, "and perhaps -twice on holy days."</p> - -<p>"But we do not worship alien gods," Kendrick persisted in a shaky -voice. "Even if you <i>were</i> a god...."</p> - -<p>Zen frowned. "Would you care to step outside and test my divinity?"</p> - -<p>"Well, no ... but...."</p> - -<p>"Then, as far as you're concerned, I am Divine, and let's have no more -quibbling. Don't forget the tobacco once a day. About time I had a -change from that low-grade incense."</p> - -<p>He vanished. Too late he remembered that he'd planned to ask the -Earthlings why they had come to Uxen, and to discuss a little -business proposition with them. Oh, well, time for that at his next -materialization for them. And, now that he considered the matter, the -direct approach might very well be a mistake.</p> - -<p>He hoped Iximi would make sure they burned him tobacco -regularly—really good stuff; almost made godhood worthwhile. But then -he'd felt that way about incense at first. No, he had other ideas for -making divinity worthwhile, and Iximi was going to help him, even if -she didn't know it. People had used him long enough; it was his turn to -use them.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>In the kitchen, Iximi recalled Zen and together they washed the dishes -and listened to the scientists quarreling in the next room.</p> - -<p>"You will note the use of incense as standard socio-religious -parallelism, Hammond. Men have appetites that must be gratified and so -they feel their supreme being must also eat ... only, being a deity, he -consumes aromas."</p> - -<p>"Yes," Peter said. "You explained all that to Him much more succinctly, -though."</p> - -<p>"Hah! Well, have you any idea yet as to how the trick was worked?"</p> - -<p>"Worked? What do you mean?"</p> - -<p>"How they made that talking image appear? Clever device, I must say, -although the Scoomps of Aldebaran III—"</p> - -<p>"Didn't look like a trick to me."</p> - -<p>"That's a fine young man," Zen said approvingly to Iximi. "I <i>like</i> -him."</p> - -<p>"You really do, Most High? I am <i>so</i> glad!"</p> - -<p>"You don't mean you really believe this Zen is an actual living god?" -Kendrick spluttered.</p> - -<p>There was a silence. "No, not a god," Peter said finally, "but not a -human, either. Perhaps another life-form with attributes different from -ours. After all, do we know who or what was on Uxen, before it was -colonized by Earth?"</p> - -<p>"Tcha!" Kendrick said.</p> - -<p>Iximi looked at Zen. Zen looked at Iximi. "The concept of godhood -varies from society to society," the divinity told the princess. -"Peter is not being sacrilegious, just manifesting a healthy -skepticism."</p> - -<p>"You're a credulous fool," Kendrick said hotly to his assistant. "I -don't blame the Secretary for demoting you. When we return to Earth, I -shall recommend your transfer to Refuse Removal. You have no business -at all in Science!"</p> - -<p>There was the sound of footsteps. "Leaving my noxious company?" Peter's -voice asked tightly.</p> - -<p>"I am going out to the nearest temple to have a chat with one of the -priests. I can expect more sensible answers from him than from you!" -The outside door slammed.</p> - -<p>"Speaking of Refuse Removal, Almighty," Iximi said to Zen, "would you -teleport the remains of this miserable repast to the Sacred Garbage -Dump? And you need not return; I'll be able to handle the rest myself."</p> - -<p>"Moolai Uxen," Zen reminded her and vanished with the garbage, but, -although the refuse was duly teleported, the unseen, impalpable -presence of the god remained.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>The door to the kitchen opened, and Hammond walked in, his face grim. -"Need any help, Iximi?" he asked, not very graciously. "Or should I -say 'Your Royal Highness'?"</p> - -<p>Iximi dropped a plate which, fortunately, was plastic. "How did you -know who I was?"</p> - -<p>He sat down on a stool. "Didn't you remember that your portrait hung in -the great hall of the palace?"</p> - -<p>"Of course," she said, chagrined. "A portrait of a servant would hardly -be hung there."</p> - -<p>"Not only that, but I asked whom it depicted. Do you think I wouldn't -notice the picture of such a beautiful girl?"</p> - -<p>"But if you knew, why then did you...?"</p> - -<p>He grinned. "I realized you were up to no good, and I have no especial -interest in the success of Kendrick's project."</p> - -<p>Iximi carefully dried a dish. "And what is his project?"</p> - -<p>"To investigate the mythos of the allegedly corporeal divinity in -static primitive societies, with especial reference to the god-concept -of Zen on Uxen."</p> - -<p>"Is that <i>all</i>?"</p> - -<p><i>All!</i> Zen thought. <i>Sounds like an excellent subject for research to -me. Unfortunate that I cannot possibly let the study be completed, as I -am going to invalidate the available data very shortly.</i></p> - -<p>"That's all, Iximi."</p> - -<p>"And how is it that Professor Kendrick did not recognize me from the -picture?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, he never notices girls' pictures. He's a complete idiot.... You -overheard us just now? When we get back to Earth, I'm going to be a -garbage collector."</p> - -<p>"Here on Uxen, Refuse Removal is a Divine Prerogative," Iximi remarked.</p> - -<p>"Poor Zen, whatever he is," Peter said to himself. "But a god, being a -god," he went on in a louder voice, "can raise himself above the more -sordid aspects of the job. As a mere human, I cannot. Iximi, I wonder -if...." He looked nervously at his watch. "I hope Kendrick takes his -time."</p> - -<p>"He will not return soon," Iximi told him, putting away the dish -towel. "Not if he is determined to find a temple. Because there are no -temples. Zen is a god of the Hearth and Home."</p> - -<p>"Iximi," Peter said, getting up and coming closer to her, "isn't there -some way I can stay here on Uxen, some job I can fill? You're the crown -princess—you must have a drag with the civil service." He looked at -her longingly. "Oh, if only you weren't so far above me in rank."</p> - -<p>"Listen, Peter!" She caught his hands. "If you were the Royal -Physicist, our ranks would not be so far disparate. My distinguished -father would make you a duke. And princesses have often ..." she -blushed "... that is to say, dukes are considered quite eligible."</p> - -<p>"Do you think I have a chance of becoming Royal Physicist?"</p> - -<p>"I am certain of it." She came very close to him. "You could give us -the atomic drive, design space ships ... weapons ... for us, couldn't -you, darling?"</p> - -<p>"I could." He looked troubled. "But it's one thing to become an -extraterrestrial, another to betray my own world."</p> - -<p>Iximi put her arms around him. "But Uxen will be your world, Peter. As -prince consort, you would no longer be concerned with the welfare of -the Earthlings."</p> - -<p>"Yes, but...."</p> - -<p>"And where is there betrayal? We do not seek to conquer Earth or its -colonies. All we want is to regain our own freedom. We are entitled to -freedom, aren't we, Peter?"</p> - -<p>He nodded slowly. "I ... suppose so."</p> - -<p>"Moolai Uxen." She thrust a package of cigarettes into his hand. "Let -us summon the Almighty One to bless our betrothal."</p> - -<p>Peter obediently lit two cigarettes and gave one to her.</p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Zen materialized his head. "Blessings on you, my children," he said, -sniffing ecstatically, "and welcome, Holy Chief Physicist, to My -Service."</p> - -<p>"<i>Royal</i> Chief Physicist," Iximi corrected.</p> - -<p>"No, that is insufficient for his merits. Holy and Sacrosanct Chief -Physicist is what he will be, with the rank of prince. You will have -the honor of serving Terrible Zen Myself, Peter Hammond."</p> - -<p>"Delighted," said the young man dubiously.</p> - -<p>"You will construct robots that do housework, vehicles that carry -refuse to the Sacred Garbage Dump, vans that transport household goods, -machines that lave dishes...."</p> - -<p>"Will do," Peter said with obvious relief. "And may I say, -Your—er—Benignness, that it will be a pleasure to serve You?"</p> - -<p>"But the atomic power drive ... freedom?" Iximi stammered.</p> - -<p>"These will point the surer, shorter way to the true freedom. My -Omnidynamism has stood in the way of your cultural advancement, as -Professor Kendrick will undoubtedly be delighted to explain to you."</p> - -<p>"But, Your Omnipotence...."</p> - -<p>"Let us have no more discussion. I am your God and I know best."</p> - -<p>"Yes, Supreme One," Iximi said sullenly.</p> - -<p>"You Uxenach have kept Me so busy for thousands of years, I have had -no time for My Divine Meditations. I shall now withdraw Myself from -mundane affairs."</p> - -<p>The princess forgot disappointment in anxiety. "You will not leave us, -Zen?"</p> - -<p>"No, My child, I shall be always present, watching over My People, -guiding them, ready to help them in case of emergency. But make sure I -am not summoned save in case of dire need. No more baby-sitting, mind -you."</p> - -<p>"Yes, Almighty One."</p> - -<p>"The incense will continue to be offered to me daily by everyone who -seeks My Sacred Ear, and make sure to import a large quantity of this -tobacco from Earth for holy days ... and other occasions," he added -casually, "when you wish to be especially sure of incurring My Divine -Favor. And I wish to be worshipped in temples like other gods." <i>Less -chance of my being stuck with some unexpected household task.</i> "I shall -manifest Myself on Thursdays only," he concluded gleefully, struck -by the consummate idea. "Thursday will be My Day to work and your -holy day. All other days you will work, and I will indulge in Divine -Meditation. I have spoken."</p> - -<p>And he withdrew all aspects of his personality to his retreat to -wallow in the luxury of six days off per week. Naturally, to make sure -the Uxenach kept the incense up to scratch, he would perform a small -miracle now and again to show he was still Omnipresent.</p> - -<p>Being a god, he thought as he made himself more comfortable, was not a -bad thing at all. One merely needed to learn how to go about it in the -right way.</p> - - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Princess and the Physicist, by Evelyn E. Smith - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS AND THE PHYSICIST *** - -***** This file should be named 51126-h.htm or 51126-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/1/2/51126/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - - - -</pre> - -</body> -</html> diff --git a/old/51126-h/images/cover.jpg b/old/51126-h/images/cover.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 7aaa0a0..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/images/cover.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126-h/images/illus1.jpg b/old/51126-h/images/illus1.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 6e61a40..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/images/illus1.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126-h/images/illus2.jpg b/old/51126-h/images/illus2.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 5aa2a33..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/images/illus2.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126-h/images/illus3.jpg b/old/51126-h/images/illus3.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 1018932..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/images/illus3.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126-h/images/illus4.jpg b/old/51126-h/images/illus4.jpg Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index ef96bc1..0000000 --- a/old/51126-h/images/illus4.jpg +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/51126.txt b/old/51126.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 53fd38b..0000000 --- a/old/51126.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,1498 +0,0 @@ -Project Gutenberg's The Princess and the Physicist, by Evelyn E. Smith - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - -Title: The Princess and the Physicist - -Author: Evelyn E. Smith - -Release Date: February 4, 2016 [EBook #51126] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS AND THE PHYSICIST *** - - - - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - - - - - - - - - The Princess and the Physicist - - By EVELYN E. SMITH - - Illustrated by KOSSIN - - [Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from - Galaxy Science Fiction June 1955. - Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that - the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.] - - - - - Elected a god, Zen the Omnipotent longed - for supernatural powers--for he was also - Zen the All-Put-Upon, a galactic sucker! - - -Zen the Terrible lay quiescent in the secret retreat which housed his -corporeal being, all the aspects of his personality wallowing in the -luxury of a day off. How glad he was that he'd had the forethought to -stipulate a weekly holiday for himself when first this godhood had -been thrust upon him, hundreds of centuries before. He'd accepted the -perquisites of divinity with pleasure then. It was some little time -before he discovered its drawbacks, and by then it was too late; he had -become the established church. - -All the aspects of his personality rested ... save one, that is. And -that one, stretching out an impalpable tendril of curiosity, brought -back to his total consciousness the news that a spaceship from Earth -had arrived when no ship from Earth was due. - -_So what?_ the total consciousness asked lazily of itself. _Probably -they have a large out-of-season order for hajench. My hajench going to -provide salad bowls for barbarians!_ - -When, twenty years previously, the Earthmen had come back to their -colony on Uxen after a lapse of thousands of years, Zen had been -hopeful that they would take some of the Divine Work off his hands. -After all, since it was they who had originally established the -colony, it should be their responsibility. But it seemed that all -humans, not merely the Uxenach, were irresponsible. The Earthmen were -interested only in trade and tribute. They even refused to believe in -the existence of Zen, an attitude which he found extremely irritating -to his ego. - - * * * * * - -True, Uxen prospered commercially to a mild extent after their return, -for the local ceramics that had been developed in the long interval -found wide acceptance throughout the Galaxy, particularly the low bowls -which had hitherto been used only for burning incense before Zen the -Formidable. - -Now every two-bit planet offered hajench in its gift shops. - -Culturally, though, Uxen had degenerated under the new Earth -administration. No more criminals were thrown to the skwitch. Xwoosh -lost its interest when new laws prohibited the ancient custom of -executing the losing side after each game. - -There was no tourist trade, for the planet was too far from the rest -of the Galaxy. The commercial spaceships came only once every three -months and left the same day. The two destroyers that "guarded" the -planet arrived at rare intervals for fueling or repairs, but the crew -never had anything to do with the Uxenach. Local ordinance forbade the -maidens of Uxen to speak to the outlanders, and the outlanders were not -interested in any of the other native products. - -But the last commercial spaceship had departed less than three weeks -before on its regular run, and this was not one of the guard ships. - -Zen reluctantly conceded to himself that he would have to investigate -this situation further, if he wanted to retain his reputation for -omniscience. Sometimes, in an occasional moment of self-doubt, he -wondered if he weren't too much of a perfectionist, but then he -rejected the thought as self-sacrilege. - -Zen dutifully intensified the beam of awareness and returned it to the -audience chamber where the two strange Earthmen who had come on the -ship were being ushered into the presence of the king by none other -than Guj, the venerable prime minister himself. - -"Gentlemen," Guj beamed, his long white beard vibrating in an excess of -hospitality, "His Gracious Majesty will be delighted to receive you at -once." - -And crossing his wrists in the secular xa, he led the way to where Uxlu -the Fifteenth was seated in full regalia upon his imposing golden, -gem-encrusted throne. - -Uxlu himself, Zen admitted grudgingly, was an imposing sight to anyone -who didn't know the old yio. The years--for he was a scant decade -younger than Guj--had merely lent dignity to his handsome features, and -he was still tall and upright. - -"Welcome, Earthlings, to Uxen," King Uxlu said in the sonorous tones of -the practiced public speaker. "If there is aught we can do to advance -your comfort whilst you sojourn on our little planet, you have but to -speak." - -He did not, Zen noted with approval, rashly promise that requests -would necessarily be granted. Which was fine, because the god well -knew who the carrier out of requests would be--Zen the Almighty, the -All-Powerful, the All-Put-Upon.... - -"Thank you, Your Majesty," the older of the two scientists said. "We -merely seek a retired spot in which to conduct our researches." - -"Researches, eh?" the king repeated with warm interest. "Are you -perhaps scientists?" - -"Yes, Your Majesty." Every one of Zen's perceptors quivered -expectantly. Earth science was banned on Uxen, with the result that its -acquisition had become the golden dream of every Uxena, including, of -course, their god. - -The older scientist gave a stiff bow. "I am an anthropologist. My -name is Kendrick, Professor Alpheus Kendrick. My assistant, Dr. Peter -Hammond--" he indicated the tall young man with him--"is a physicist." - - * * * * * - -The king and the prime minister conferred together in whispers. Zen -wished he could join them, but he couldn't materialize on that plane -without incense, and he preferred his subjects not to know that he -could be invisibly present, especially on his day off. Of course, his -Immaterial Omnipresence was a part of the accepted dogma, but there is -a big difference between accepting a concept on a basis of faith or of -proven fact. - -"Curious researches," the king said, emerging from the conference, -"that require both physics _and_ anthropology." - -"Yes," said Kendrick. "They are rather involved at that." Peter Hammond -shuffled his feet. - -"Perhaps some of our technicians might be of assistance to you," the -king suggested. "They may not have your science, but they are very -adept with their hands...." - -"Our researches are rather limited in scope," Kendrick assured him. "We -can do everything needful quite adequately ourselves. All we need is a -place in which to do it." - -"You shall have our own second-best palace," the king said graciously. -"It has both hot and cold water laid on, as well as central heating." - -"We've brought along our own collapsible laboratory-dwelling," Kendrick -explained. "We just want a spot to set it up." - -Uxlu sighed. "The royal parks are at your disposal. You will -undoubtedly require servants?" - -"We have a robot, thanks." - -"A robot is a mechanical man who does all our housework," Hammond, more -courteous than his superior, explained. Zen wondered how he could ever -have felt a moment's uneasiness concerning these wonderful strangers. - -"Zen will be interested to hear of this," the prime minister said -cannily. He and the king nodded at one another. - -"_Who_ did you say?" Kendrick asked eagerly. - -"Zen the Terrible," the king repeated, "Zen the All-Powerful, Zen the -Encyclopedic. Surely you have heard of him?" he asked in some surprise. -"He's Uxen's own particular, personal and private god, exclusive to our -planet." - -"Yes, yes, of course I've heard about him," Kendrick said, trembling -with hardly repressed excitement. - -_What a correct attitude!_ Zen thought. _One rarely finds such -religious respect among foreigners._ - -"In fact, I've heard a great deal about him and I should like to know -even more!" Kendrick spoke almost reverently. - -"He _is_ an extremely interesting divinity," the king replied -complacently. "And if your robot cannot teleport or requires a hand -with the heavy work, do not hesitate to call on Zen the Accommodating. -We'll detail a priest to summon--" - -"The robot manages very well all by itself, thank you," Kendrick said -quickly. - - * * * * * - -In his hideaway, the material body of Zen breathed a vast multiple sigh -of relief. He was getting to like these Earthmen more and more by the -minute. - -"Might I inquire," the king asked, "into the nature of your researches?" - -"An investigation of the prevalent nuclear ritual beliefs on Uxen in -relation to the over-all matrix of social culture, and we really must -get along and see to the unloading of the ship. Good-by, Your -Majesty ... Your Excellency." And Kendrick dragged his protesting aide -off. - -"If only," said the king, "I were still an absolute monarch, I would -teach these Earthlings some manners." His face grew wistful. "Well I -remember how my father would have those who crossed him torn apart by -wild skwitch." - -"If you did have the Earthlings torn apart by wild skwitch, Sire," Guj -pointed out, "then you would certainly never be able to obtain any -information from them." - -Uxlu sighed. "I would merely have them torn apart a little--just enough -so that they would answer a few civil questions." He sighed again. -"And, supposing they did happen to--er--pass on, in the process, think -of the tremendous lift to my ego. But nobody thinks of the king's ego -any more these days." - -No, things were not what they had been since the time the planet had -been retrieved by the Earthlings. They had not communicated with Uxen -for so many hundreds of years, they had explained, because, after a -more than ordinarily disastrous war, they had lost the secret of space -travel for centuries. - -Now, wanting to make amends for those long years of neglect, they -immediately provided that the Earth language and the Earth income tax -become mandatory upon Uxen. The language was taught by recordings. -Since the Uxenach were a highly intelligent people, they had all -learned it quickly and forgotten most of their native tongue except for -a few untranslatable concepts. - -"Must be a new secret atomic weapon they're working on," Uxlu decided. -"Why else should they come to such a remote corner of the Galaxy? And -you will recall that the older one--Kendrick--said something about -nuclear beliefs. If only we could discover what it is, secure it for -ourselves, perhaps we could defeat the Earthmen, drive them away--" he -sighed for the third time that morning--"and rule the planet ourselves." - - * * * * * - -Just then the crown princess Iximi entered the throne room. Iximi -really lived up to her title of Most Fair and Exalted, for centuries -of selective breeding under which the kings of Uxen had seized the -loveliest women of the planet for their wives had resulted in an -outstanding pulchritude. Her hair was as golden as the ripe fruit that -bent the boughs of the iolo tree, and her eyes were bluer than the uriz -stones on the belt girdling her slender waist. Reproductions of the -famous portrait of her which hung in the great hall of the palace were -very popular on calendars. - -"My father grieves," she observed, making the secular xa. "Pray tell -your unworthy daughter what sorrow racks your noble bosom." - -"Uxen is a backwash," her father mourned. "A planet forgotten, while -the rest of the Galaxy goes by. Our ego has reached its nadir." - -"Why did you let yourself be conquered?" the princess retorted -scornfully. "Ah, had I been old enough to speak then, matters would be -very different today!" Although she seemed too beautiful to be endowed -with brains, Iximi had been graduated from the Royal University with -high honors. - -Zen the Erudite was particularly fond of her, for she had been his best -student in Advanced Theology. She was, moreover, an ardent patriot and -leader of the underground Moolai (free) Uxen movement, with which Zen -was more or less in sympathy, since he felt Uxen belonged to him and -not to the Earthlings. After all, he had been there first. - -"_Let_ ourselves be conquered!" Her father's voice rose to a squeak. -"_Let_ ourselves! Nobody asked us--we _were_ conquered." - -"True, but we could at least have essayed our strength against the -conquerors instead of capitulating like yioch. We could have fought to -the last man!" - -"A woman is always ready to fight to the last man," Guj commented. - -"Did you hear that, ancient and revered parent! He called me, a -princess of the blood, a--a woman!" - -"We are all equal before Zen," Guj said sententiously, making the high -xa. - -"Praise Zen," Uxlu and Iximi chanted perfunctorily, bowing low. - -Iximi, still angry, ordered Guj--who was also high priest--to start -services. Kindling the incense in the hajen, he began the chant. - -Of course it was his holiday, but Zen couldn't resist the appeal of -the incense. Besides he was there anyway, so it was really no trouble, -_no trouble_, he thought, greedily sniffing the delicious aroma, _at -all_. He materialized a head with seven nostrils so that he was able to -inhale the incense in one delectable gulp. Then, "No prayers answered -on Thursday," he said, and disappeared. That would show them! - -"Drat Zen and his days off!" The princess was in a fury. "Very well, -we'll manage without Zen the Spiteful. Now, precisely what is troubling -you, worthy and undeservedly Honored Parent?" - -"Those two scientists who arrived from Earth. Didn't you meet them -when you came in?" - -"No, Respected Father," she said, sitting on the arm of the throne. "I -must have just missed them. What are they like?" - - * * * * * - -He told her what they were like in terms not even a monarch should use -before his daughter. "And these squuch," he concluded, "are undoubtedly -working on a secret weapon. If we had it, we could free Uxen." - -"Moolai Uxen!" the princess shouted, standing up. "My friends, must we -continue to submit to the yoke of the tyrant? Arise. Smite the...." - -"Anyone," said Guj, "can make a speech." - -The princess sat on the steps of the throne and pondered. "Obviously we -must introduce a spy into their household to learn their science and -turn it to our advantage." - -"They are very careful, those Earthlings," Guj informed her -superciliously. "It is obvious that they do not intend to let any of us -come near them." - -The princess gave a knowing smile. "But they undoubtedly will need at -least one menial to care for their dwelling. I shall be that menial. I, -Iximi, will so demean myself for the sake of my planet! Moolai Uxen!" - -"You cannot do it, Iximi," her father said, distressed. "You must not -defile yourself so. I will not hear of it!" - -"And besides," Guj interposed, "they will need no servants. All their -housework is to be done by their robot--a mechanical man that performs -all menial duties. And you, Your Royal Highness, could not plausibly -disguise yourself as a machine." - -"No-o-o-o, I expect not." The princess hugged the rosy knees -revealed by her brief tunic and thought aloud, "But ... just ... -supposing ... something ... went wrong with the robot.... They do -not possess another?" - -"They referred only to one, Highness," Guj replied reluctantly. "But -they may have the parts with which to construct another." - -"Nonetheless, it is well worth the attempt," the princess declared. -"You will cast a spell on the robot, Guj, so that it stops." - -He sighed. "Very well, Your Highness; I suppose I could manage that!" - -Making the secular xa, he left the royal pair. Outside, his voice could -be heard bellowing in the anteroom, "Has any one of you squuch seen my -pliers?" - -"There is no need for worry, Venerated Ancestor," the princess assured -the monarch. "All-Helpful Zen will aid me with my tasks." - -Far away in his arcane retreat, the divinity groaned to himself. - - * * * * * - -Another aspect of Zen's personality followed the two Earthmen as they -left the palace to supervise the erection of their prefab by the crew -of the spaceship in one of the Royal Parks. A vast crowd of Uxenach -gathered to watch the novelty, and among them there presently appeared -a sinister-looking old man with a red beard, whom Zen the Pansophic had -no difficulty in recognizing as the prime minister, heavily disguised. -Of course it would have been no trouble for Zen to carry out Guj's -mission for him, but he believed in self-help--especially on Thursdays. - -"You certainly fixed us up fine!" Hammond muttered disrespectfully to -the professor. "You should've told the king we were inventing a vacuum -cleaner or something. Now they'll just be more curious than ever.... -And I still don't see why you refused the priest. Seems to me he'd be -just what you needed." - -"Yes, and the first to catch on to why we're here. We mustn't -antagonize the natives; these closed groups are so apt to resent any -investigation into their mythos." - -"If it's all mythical, why do you need a scientist then?" - -"A physical scientist, you mean," Kendrick said austerely. "For -anthropology is a science, too, you know." - -Peter snorted. - -"Some Earthmen claim actually to have seen these alleged -manifestations," Kendrick went on to explain, "in which case there must -be some kind of mechanical trickery involved--which is where you come -in. Of course I would have preferred an engineer to help me, but you -were all I could get from the government." - -"And you wouldn't have got me either, if the Minister of Science didn't -have it in for me!" Peter said irately. "I'm far too good for this -piddling little job, and you know it. If it weren't for envy in high -places--" - -"Better watch out," the professor warned, "or the Minister might decide -you're too good for science altogether, and you'll be switched to a -position more in keeping with your talents--say, as a Refuse Removal -Agent." - -_And what is wrong with the honored art of Refuse Removal?_ Zen -wondered. There were a lot of mystifying things about these Earthmen. - - * * * * * - -The scientists' quaint little edifice was finally set up, and the -spaceship took its departure. It was only then that the Earthmen -discovered that something they called cigarettes couldn't be found in -the welter of packages, and that the robot wouldn't cook dinner or, in -fact, do anything. _Good old Guj_, Zen thought. - -"I can't figure out what's gone wrong," Peter complained, as he -finished putting the mechanical man together again. "Everything seems -to be all right, and yet the damned thing won't function." - -"Looks as if we'll have to do the housework ourselves, confound it!" - -"Uh-uh," Peter said. "You can, but not me. The Earth government put me -under your orders so far as this project is concerned, sir, but I'm not -supposed to do anything degrading, sir, and menial work is classified -as just that, sir, so--" - -"All right, all _right_!" Kendrick said. "Though it seems to me if -_I'm_ willing to do it, _you_ should have no objection." - -"It's your project, sir. I gathered from the king, though," Peter -added more helpfully, "that some of the natives still do menial labor -themselves." - -"How disgusting that there should still be a planet so backward that -human beings should be forced to do humiliating tasks," Kendrick said. - -_You don't know the half of it, either_, Zen thought, shocked all the -way back to his physical being. It had never occurred to him that the -functions of gods on other planets might be different than on Uxen ... -unless the Earthlings failed to pay reverence to their own gods, which -seemed unlikely in view of the respectful way with which Professor -Kendrick had greeted the mention of Zen's Awe-Inspiring Name. Then -Refuse Removal was not necessarily a divine prerogative. - -_Those first colonists were very clever_, Zen thought bitterly, -_sweet-talking me into becoming a god and doing all their dirty work. -I was happy here as the Only Inhabitant; why did I ever let those -interlopers involve me in Theolatry? But I can't quit now. The Uxenach -need Me ... and I need incense; I'm fettered by my own weakness. Still, -I have the glimmerings of an idea...._ - -"Oh, how much could a half-witted menial find out?" Peter demanded. -"Remember, it's either a native servant, sir, or you do the housework -yourself." - -"All right," Kendrick agreed gloomily. "We'll try one of the natives." - - * * * * * - -So the next day, still attended by the Unseen Presence of Zen, they -sought audience with the prime minister. - -"Welcome, Earthmen, to the humble apartments of His Majesty's most -unimportant subject," Guj greeted them, making a very small xa as he -led them into the largest reception room. - -Kendrick absently ran his finger over the undercarving of a small gold -table. "Look, no dust," he whispered. "Must have excellent help here." - -Zen couldn't help preening just a bit. At least he did his work well; -no one could gainsay that. - -"Your desire," Guj went on, apparently anxious to get to the point, "is -my command. Would you like a rojh of dancing girls to perform before -you or--?" - -"The king said something yesterday about servants being available," -Kendrick interrupted. "And our robot seems to have broken down. Could -you tell us where we could get someone to do our housework?" - -An expression of vivid pleasure illuminated the prime minister's -venerable countenance. "By fortunate chance, gentlemen, a small lot of -maids is to be auctioned off at a village very near the Imperial City -tomorrow. I should be delighted to escort you there personally." - -"Auctioned?" Kendrick repeated. "You mean they _sell_ servants here?" - -Guj raised his snowy eyebrows. "Sold? Certainly not; they are leased -for two years apiece. After all, if you have no lease, what guarantee -do you have that your servants will stay after you have trained them? -None whatsoever." - -When the two scientists had gone, Iximi emerged from behind a -bright-colored tapestry depicting Zen in seven hundred and fifty-three -of his Attributes. - -"The younger one is not at all bad-looking," she commented, patting her -hair into place. "I do like big blond men. Perhaps my task will not be -as unpleasant as I fancied." - -Guj stroked his beard. "How do you know the Earthlings will select -_you_, Your Highness? Many other maids will be auctioned off at the -same time." - -The princess stiffened angrily. "They'll pick me or they'll never leave -Uxen alive and you, Your Excellency, would not outlive them." - - * * * * * - -Although it meant he had to overwork the other aspects of his multiple -personality, Zen kept one free so that the next day he could join -the Earthmen--in spirit, that was--on their excursion in search of a -menial. - -"If, as an anthropologist, you are interested in local folkways, -Professor," Guj remarked graciously, as he and the scientists piled -into a scarlet, boat-shaped vehicle, "you will find much to attract -your attention in this quaint little planet of ours." - -"Are the eyes painted on front of the car to ward off demons?" Kendrick -asked. - -"Car? Oh, you mean the yio!" Guj patted the forepart of the vehicle. -It purred and fluttered long eyelashes. "We breed an especially bouncy -strain with seats; they're so much more comfortable, you know." - -"You mean this is a _live_ animal?" - -Guj nodded apologetically. "Of course it does not go very fast. Now if -we had the atomic power drive, such as your spaceships have--" - -"You'd shoot right off into space," Hammond assured him. - -"Speed," said Kendrick, "is the curse of modern civilization. Be glad -you still retain some of the old-fashioned graces here on Uxen. You -see," he whispered to his assistant, "a clear case of magico-religious -culture-freezing, resulting in a static society unable to advance -itself, comes of its implicit reliance upon the powers of an omnipotent -deity." - -Zen took some time to figure this out. _But that's right!_ he -concluded, in surprise. - -"I thought your god teleported things?" Peter asked Guj. "How come he -doesn't teleport you around, if you're in such a hurry to go places?" - -Kendrick glared at him. "Please remember that I'm the anthropologist," -he hissed. "You have got to know how to describe the Transcendental -Personality with the proper respect." - -"We don't have Zen teleport animate objects," the prime minister -explained affably. "Or even inanimate ones if they are fragile. -For He tends to lose His Temper sometimes when He feels that He is -overworked--" _Feels, indeed!_ Zen said to himself--"and throws things -about. We cannot reprove Him for His misbehavior. After all, a god is a -god." - -"The apparent irreverence," Kendrick explained in an undertone, -"undoubtedly signifies that he is dealing with ancillary or, perhaps, -peripheral religious beliefs. I must make a note of them." He did so. - - * * * * * - -By the time the royal yio had arrived at the village where the -planetary auctions for domestics were held, the maids were already -arranged in a row on the platform. Most were depressingly plain -creatures and dressed in thick sacklike tunics. Among them, the -graceful form of Iximi was conspicuous, clad in a garment similar in -cut but fashioned of translucent gauze almost as blue as her eyes. - -Peter straightened his tie and assumed a much more cheerful expression. -"Let's rent _that one_!" he exclaimed, pointing to the princess. - -"Nonsense!" Kendrick told him. "In the first place, she is obviously -the most expensive model. Secondly, she would be too distracting -for you. And, finally, a pretty girl is never as good a worker as a -plain.... We'll take that one." The professor pointed to the dumpiest -and oldest of the women. "How much should I offer to start, Your -Excellency? No sense beginning the bidding too high. We Earthmen aren't -made of money, in spite of what the rest of the Galaxy seems to think." - -"A hundred credits is standard," Guj murmured. "However, sir, there is -one problem--have you considered how you are going to communicate with -your maid?" - -"Communicate? Are they mutes?" - -"No, but very few of these women speak Earth." A look of surprise -flitted over the faces of the servants, vanishing as her royal highness -glared at them. - -Kendrick pursed thin lips. "I was under the impression that the Earth -language was mandatory on Uxen." - -"Oh, it is; it is, indeed!" Guj said hastily. "However, it is so -hard to teach these backward peasants new ways." One of the backward -peasants gave a loud sniff, which changed to a squeal as she was -honored with a pinch from the hand of royalty. "But you will not betray -us? We are making rapid advances and before long we hope to make Earth -universal." - -"Of course we won't," Peter put in, before Kendrick had a chance to -reply. "What's more, I don't see why the Uxenians shouldn't be allowed -to speak their own language." - -The princess gave him a dazzling smile. "Moolai Uxen! We must not allow -the beautiful Uxulk tongue to fall into desuetude. Bring back our -lovely language!" - -Guj gestured desperately. She tossed her head, but stopped. - -"Please, Kendrick," Peter begged, "we've got to buy that one!" - -"Certainly not. You can see she's a troublemaker. Do you speak Earth?" -the professor demanded of the maid he had chosen. - -"No speak," she replied. - -Peter tugged at his superior's sleeve. "That one speaks Earth." - -Kendrick shook him off. "Do you speak Earth?" he demanded of the second -oldest and ugliest. She shook her head. The others went through the -same procedure. - -"It looks," Peter said, grinning, "as if we'll have to take mine." - -"I suppose so," Kendrick agreed gloomily, "but somehow I feel no good -will come of this." - -Zen wondered whether Earthmen had powers of precognition. - -No one bid against them, so they took a two-year lease on the crown -princess for the very reasonable price of a hundred credits, and drove -her home with them. - -Iximi gazed at the little prefab with disfavor. "But why are we halting -outside this gluu hutch, masters?" - -Guj cleared his throat. "Sirs, I wish you joy." He made the secular xa. -"Should you ever be in need again, do not hesitate to get in touch with -me at the palace." And, climbing into the yio, he was off. - - * * * * * - -The others entered the small dwelling. "That little trip certainly gave -me an appetite," Kendrick said, rubbing his hands together. "Iximi, you -had better start lunch right away. This is the kitchen." - -Iximi gazed around the cubicle with disfavor. "Truly it is not much," -she observed. "However, masters, if you will leave me, I shall endeavor -to do my poor best." - -"Let me show you--" Peter began, but Kendrick interrupted. - -"Leave the girl alone, Hammond. She must be able to cook, if she's a -professional servant. We've wasted the whole morning as it is; maybe we -can get something done before lunch." - -Iximi closed the door, got out her portable altar--all members of the -royal family were qualified members of the priesthood, though they -seldom practiced--and in a low voice, for the door and walls were -thin, summoned Zen the All-Capable. - -The god sighed as he materialized his head. "I might have known you -would require Me. What is your will, oh Most Fair?" - -"I have been ordered to prepare the strangers' midday repast, oh -Puissant One, and I know not what to do with all this ukh, which they -assure me is their food." And she pointed scornfully to the cans and -jars and packages. - -"How should _I_ know then?" Zen asked unguardedly. - -The princess looked at him. "Surely Zen the All-Knowing jests?" - -"Er--yes. Merely having My Bit of Fun, you know." He hastily inspected -the exterior of the alleged foods. "There appear to be legends -inscribed upon the containers. Perchance, were we to read them, they -might give a clue as to their contents." - -"Oh, Omniscent One," the princess exclaimed, "truly You are Wise and -Sapient indeed, and it is I who was the fool to have doubted for so -much as an instant." - -"Oh you doubted, did you?" Terrible Zen frowned terribly. "Well, see -that it doesn't happen again." He had no intention of losing his divine -authority at this stage of the game. - -"Your Will is mine, All-Wise One. And I think You had best materialize -a few pair of arms as well as Your August and Awe-inspiring -Countenance, for there is much work to be done." - - * * * * * - -Since the partitions were thin, Zen and the princess could hear most of -the conversation in the main room. "... First thing to do," Kendrick's -voice remarked, "is find out whether we're permitted to attend one -of their religious ceremonies, where Zen is said to manifest himself -actually and not, it is contended, just symbolically...." - -"The stove is here, Almighty," the princess suggested, "not against the -door where you are pressing Your Divine Ear." - -"Shhh. What I hear is fraught with import for the future of the planet. -Moolai Uxen." - -"Moolai Uxen," the princess replied automatically. - -"... I wonder how hard it'll be to crash the services," Kendrick went -on. "Most primitives don't like outsiders present at their ritual -activities." - -"Especially if there _are_ actual manifestations of their god," -Hammond contributed. "That would mean the priests are up to some sort -of trickery, and they wouldn't care to run the risk of having us see -through--" - -He was interrupted by a loud crash from the kitchen. - -"Are you all right, Iximi!" he yelled. "Need any help?" - -"All is well!" she called back. "But, I pray you, do not enter, -masters. The reverberation was part of a rite designed to deflect evil -spirits from the food. Were a heretic to be present or interrupt the -ceremonies, the spell would be voided and the food contaminated." - -"Okay!" Peter returned and, in a lower tone, which he probably thought -she could not overhear, "Seems you were right." - -"Naturally." There was complacency in the professor's voice. "And now -let us consider the validating features of the social structure as -related to the mythos--and, of course, the ethos, where the two are not -coincident--of the Uxenians...." - -"Imagine," Zen complained in the kitchen, "accusing _Me_ of being a -mere trick of the priesthood--Supreme Me!" - -"Supreme Butterfingers!" the princess snapped, irritation driving her -to the point of sacrilege. "You spilled that red stuff, the ..." she -bent over to read the legend on the container "... the ketchup all over -the floor!" - -"The floor is relatively clean," Zen murmured abstractedly. "We can -scoop up the substance and incorporate it in whatever dainty dish we -prepare for the Earthlings' repast. Now they'll think that I, Zen the -Accessible, am difficult to have audience with," he mourned, "whereas I -was particularly anxious to hold converse with them and discover what -quest brings them to Uxen. That is," he added hastily, remembering he -was omniscient, "just how they would justify its rationale." - -"Shall we get on with our culinary activities, Almighty One?" Iximi -asked coldly. - -If the Most Fair and Exalted had a flaw, Zen thought, it was a -one-track mind. - - * * * * * - -"What in hell did you put in this, Iximi?" Kendrick demanded, after -one taste of the steaming casserole of food which she had set proudly -before the two Earthmen. - -"Ketchup, that's for sure...." Peter murmured, rolling a mouthful -around his tongue as he sought to separate its component flavors. "And -rhubarb, I should say." - -"Dried fish and garlic...." Kendrick made further identifications. - -"And a comestible called marshmallow," Iximi beamed. "You like it? I am -_so_ glad!" - -"I do _not_--" Kendrick began, but Peter intervened. - -"It's very nice, Iximi," he said tactfully, "but I guess we're just -used to old run-of-the-mill Earth cooking. It's all our fault; we -should have given you a recipe." - -"I had a recipe," Iximi returned. "It came to me by Divine Inspiration." - -Kendrick compressed his lips. - -"Useful sort of divinity they have around here," Peter said. -"Everything that goes wrong seems to take place in the name of -religion. Are you sure you didn't happen to overhear us talking before, -Iximi?" - -"Don't be silly, Hammond!" Kendrick snapped. "These simple primitives -do not have the sophistication to use their religious beliefs -consciously as rationalization for their incompetence." - -"Even had I wished to eavesdrop," Iximi said haughtily, "I would hardly -have had the opportunity; I was too busy trying to prepare a palatable -repast for you and--" her voice broke--"you didn't like it." - -"Oh, I did like it, Iximi!" Peter protested. "It's just that I'm -allergic to rhubarb." - -"Wait!" she exclaimed, smiling again. "For dessert I have an especial -surprise for you." She brought in a dish triumphantly. "Is this not -just how you have it on Earth?" - -"Stewed cigarettes with whipped cream," Kendrick muttered. "Stewed -cigarettes! Where on Ear--on Uxen did you find them?" - -"In a large box with the other puddings," she beamed. "Is it not highly -succulent and flavorful?" - -The two scientists sprang from their chairs and dashed into the -kitchen. Iximi stared after them. When they returned, they looked much -more cheerful. They seated themselves, and soon fragrant clouds of -smoke began to curl toward the ceiling. - -_They are calling me at last_, Zen thought happily, _and with such -delightful incense! Who wants chants anyway?_ - -"But what are you _doing_!" the princess shrieked. - - * * * * * - -Zen hastened to manifest himself, complete with fourteen nostrils, -before she could spoil everything. "The procedure is most unorthodox," -he murmured aloud, "but truly this new incense has a most delicious -aroma, extremely pleasing to My Ego. What is your will, oh, strangers?" - -"All-Merciful Zen," the princess pleaded, "forgive them, for they knew -not what they did. They did not mean to summon You." - -"Then who," asked Zen in a terrible voice, "is this wonderful smoke -for? Some foreign god whom they worship on My Territory?" And he -wouldn't put it past them either. - -Peter looked at the anthropologist, but Kendrick was obviously -too paralyzed with fright to speak. "As a matter of fact, -Your--er--Omnipotence," the physicist said haltingly, "this is not part -of our religious ritual. We burn this particular type of incense which -we call tobacco, for our own pleasure." - -"In other words," Zen said coldly, "you worship yourselves. I work and -slave My Godhood to the bone only to have egotists running all over My -Planet." - -"No, it's nothing like that at all," Kendrick quavered. "We smoke the -tobacco to--well--gratify our appetites. Like--like eating, you know." - -"Well, you will have to forego that pleasure," Zen said, frowning -terribly. Even the tall one cowered, he noted with appreciation. It had -been a long time since people had really cringed before his frown. The -Uxenach had come to take him too much for granted; they would learn -their mistake. "From now on," he said portentously, "the tobacco must -be reserved for My Use alone. Smoke it only for purposes of worship. -Once a day will be sufficient," he added graciously, "and perhaps -twice on holy days." - -"But we do not worship alien gods," Kendrick persisted in a shaky -voice. "Even if you _were_ a god...." - -Zen frowned. "Would you care to step outside and test my divinity?" - -"Well, no ... but...." - -"Then, as far as you're concerned, I am Divine, and let's have no more -quibbling. Don't forget the tobacco once a day. About time I had a -change from that low-grade incense." - -He vanished. Too late he remembered that he'd planned to ask the -Earthlings why they had come to Uxen, and to discuss a little -business proposition with them. Oh, well, time for that at his next -materialization for them. And, now that he considered the matter, the -direct approach might very well be a mistake. - -He hoped Iximi would make sure they burned him tobacco -regularly--really good stuff; almost made godhood worthwhile. But then -he'd felt that way about incense at first. No, he had other ideas for -making divinity worthwhile, and Iximi was going to help him, even if -she didn't know it. People had used him long enough; it was his turn to -use them. - - * * * * * - -In the kitchen, Iximi recalled Zen and together they washed the dishes -and listened to the scientists quarreling in the next room. - -"You will note the use of incense as standard socio-religious -parallelism, Hammond. Men have appetites that must be gratified and so -they feel their supreme being must also eat ... only, being a deity, he -consumes aromas." - -"Yes," Peter said. "You explained all that to Him much more succinctly, -though." - -"Hah! Well, have you any idea yet as to how the trick was worked?" - -"Worked? What do you mean?" - -"How they made that talking image appear? Clever device, I must say, -although the Scoomps of Aldebaran III--" - -"Didn't look like a trick to me." - -"That's a fine young man," Zen said approvingly to Iximi. "I _like_ -him." - -"You really do, Most High? I am _so_ glad!" - -"You don't mean you really believe this Zen is an actual living god?" -Kendrick spluttered. - -There was a silence. "No, not a god," Peter said finally, "but not a -human, either. Perhaps another life-form with attributes different from -ours. After all, do we know who or what was on Uxen, before it was -colonized by Earth?" - -"Tcha!" Kendrick said. - -Iximi looked at Zen. Zen looked at Iximi. "The concept of godhood -varies from society to society," the divinity told the princess. -"Peter is not being sacrilegious, just manifesting a healthy -skepticism." - -"You're a credulous fool," Kendrick said hotly to his assistant. "I -don't blame the Secretary for demoting you. When we return to Earth, I -shall recommend your transfer to Refuse Removal. You have no business -at all in Science!" - -There was the sound of footsteps. "Leaving my noxious company?" Peter's -voice asked tightly. - -"I am going out to the nearest temple to have a chat with one of the -priests. I can expect more sensible answers from him than from you!" -The outside door slammed. - -"Speaking of Refuse Removal, Almighty," Iximi said to Zen, "would you -teleport the remains of this miserable repast to the Sacred Garbage -Dump? And you need not return; I'll be able to handle the rest myself." - -"Moolai Uxen," Zen reminded her and vanished with the garbage, but, -although the refuse was duly teleported, the unseen, impalpable -presence of the god remained. - - * * * * * - -The door to the kitchen opened, and Hammond walked in, his face grim. -"Need any help, Iximi?" he asked, not very graciously. "Or should I -say 'Your Royal Highness'?" - -Iximi dropped a plate which, fortunately, was plastic. "How did you -know who I was?" - -He sat down on a stool. "Didn't you remember that your portrait hung in -the great hall of the palace?" - -"Of course," she said, chagrined. "A portrait of a servant would hardly -be hung there." - -"Not only that, but I asked whom it depicted. Do you think I wouldn't -notice the picture of such a beautiful girl?" - -"But if you knew, why then did you...?" - -He grinned. "I realized you were up to no good, and I have no especial -interest in the success of Kendrick's project." - -Iximi carefully dried a dish. "And what is his project?" - -"To investigate the mythos of the allegedly corporeal divinity in -static primitive societies, with especial reference to the god-concept -of Zen on Uxen." - -"Is that _all_?" - -_All!_ Zen thought. _Sounds like an excellent subject for research to -me. Unfortunate that I cannot possibly let the study be completed, as I -am going to invalidate the available data very shortly._ - -"That's all, Iximi." - -"And how is it that Professor Kendrick did not recognize me from the -picture?" - -"Oh, he never notices girls' pictures. He's a complete idiot.... You -overheard us just now? When we get back to Earth, I'm going to be a -garbage collector." - -"Here on Uxen, Refuse Removal is a Divine Prerogative," Iximi remarked. - -"Poor Zen, whatever he is," Peter said to himself. "But a god, being a -god," he went on in a louder voice, "can raise himself above the more -sordid aspects of the job. As a mere human, I cannot. Iximi, I wonder -if...." He looked nervously at his watch. "I hope Kendrick takes his -time." - -"He will not return soon," Iximi told him, putting away the dish -towel. "Not if he is determined to find a temple. Because there are no -temples. Zen is a god of the Hearth and Home." - -"Iximi," Peter said, getting up and coming closer to her, "isn't there -some way I can stay here on Uxen, some job I can fill? You're the crown -princess--you must have a drag with the civil service." He looked at -her longingly. "Oh, if only you weren't so far above me in rank." - -"Listen, Peter!" She caught his hands. "If you were the Royal -Physicist, our ranks would not be so far disparate. My distinguished -father would make you a duke. And princesses have often ..." she -blushed "... that is to say, dukes are considered quite eligible." - -"Do you think I have a chance of becoming Royal Physicist?" - -"I am certain of it." She came very close to him. "You could give us -the atomic drive, design space ships ... weapons ... for us, couldn't -you, darling?" - -"I could." He looked troubled. "But it's one thing to become an -extraterrestrial, another to betray my own world." - -Iximi put her arms around him. "But Uxen will be your world, Peter. As -prince consort, you would no longer be concerned with the welfare of -the Earthlings." - -"Yes, but...." - -"And where is there betrayal? We do not seek to conquer Earth or its -colonies. All we want is to regain our own freedom. We are entitled to -freedom, aren't we, Peter?" - -He nodded slowly. "I ... suppose so." - -"Moolai Uxen." She thrust a package of cigarettes into his hand. "Let -us summon the Almighty One to bless our betrothal." - -Peter obediently lit two cigarettes and gave one to her. - - * * * * * - -Zen materialized his head. "Blessings on you, my children," he said, -sniffing ecstatically, "and welcome, Holy Chief Physicist, to My -Service." - -"_Royal_ Chief Physicist," Iximi corrected. - -"No, that is insufficient for his merits. Holy and Sacrosanct Chief -Physicist is what he will be, with the rank of prince. You will have -the honor of serving Terrible Zen Myself, Peter Hammond." - -"Delighted," said the young man dubiously. - -"You will construct robots that do housework, vehicles that carry -refuse to the Sacred Garbage Dump, vans that transport household goods, -machines that lave dishes...." - -"Will do," Peter said with obvious relief. "And may I say, -Your--er--Benignness, that it will be a pleasure to serve You?" - -"But the atomic power drive ... freedom?" Iximi stammered. - -"These will point the surer, shorter way to the true freedom. My -Omnidynamism has stood in the way of your cultural advancement, as -Professor Kendrick will undoubtedly be delighted to explain to you." - -"But, Your Omnipotence...." - -"Let us have no more discussion. I am your God and I know best." - -"Yes, Supreme One," Iximi said sullenly. - -"You Uxenach have kept Me so busy for thousands of years, I have had -no time for My Divine Meditations. I shall now withdraw Myself from -mundane affairs." - -The princess forgot disappointment in anxiety. "You will not leave us, -Zen?" - -"No, My child, I shall be always present, watching over My People, -guiding them, ready to help them in case of emergency. But make sure I -am not summoned save in case of dire need. No more baby-sitting, mind -you." - -"Yes, Almighty One." - -"The incense will continue to be offered to me daily by everyone who -seeks My Sacred Ear, and make sure to import a large quantity of this -tobacco from Earth for holy days ... and other occasions," he added -casually, "when you wish to be especially sure of incurring My Divine -Favor. And I wish to be worshipped in temples like other gods." _Less -chance of my being stuck with some unexpected household task._ "I shall -manifest Myself on Thursdays only," he concluded gleefully, struck -by the consummate idea. "Thursday will be My Day to work and your -holy day. All other days you will work, and I will indulge in Divine -Meditation. I have spoken." - -And he withdrew all aspects of his personality to his retreat to -wallow in the luxury of six days off per week. Naturally, to make sure -the Uxenach kept the incense up to scratch, he would perform a small -miracle now and again to show he was still Omnipresent. - -Being a god, he thought as he made himself more comfortable, was not a -bad thing at all. One merely needed to learn how to go about it in the -right way. - - - - - -End of Project Gutenberg's The Princess and the Physicist, by Evelyn E. Smith - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE PRINCESS AND THE PHYSICIST *** - -***** This file should be named 51126.txt or 51126.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/1/2/51126/ - -Produced by Greg Weeks, Mary Meehan and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, -and may not be used if you charge for the eBooks, unless you receive -specific permission. If you do not charge anything for copies of this -eBook, complying with the rules is very easy. You may use this eBook -for nearly any purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, -performances and research. They may be modified and printed and given -away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks -not protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the -trademark license, especially commercial redistribution. - -START: FULL LICENSE - -THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE -PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK - -To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free -distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work -(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full -Project Gutenberg-tm License available with this file or online at -www.gutenberg.org/license. - -Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works - -1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to -and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property -(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all -the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or -destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your -possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a -Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound -by the terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the -person or entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph -1.E.8. - -1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be -used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who -agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few -things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See -paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this -agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works. See paragraph 1.E below. - -1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the -Foundation" or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection -of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual -works in the collection are in the public domain in the United -States. If an individual work is unprotected by copyright law in the -United States and you are located in the United States, we do not -claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing, -displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as -all references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope -that you will support the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting -free access to electronic works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm -works in compliance with the terms of this agreement for keeping the -Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with the work. You can easily -comply with the terms of this agreement by keeping this work in the -same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg-tm License when -you share it without charge with others. - -1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern -what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are -in a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, -check the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this -agreement before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, -distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any -other Project Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no -representations concerning the copyright status of any work in any -country outside the United States. - -1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: - -1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other -immediate access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear -prominently whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work -on which the phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the -phrase "Project Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, -performed, viewed, copied or distributed: - - This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and - most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no - restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it - under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this - eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the - United States, you'll have to check the laws of the country where you - are located before using this ebook. - -1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is -derived from texts not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not -contain a notice indicating that it is posted with permission of the -copyright holder), the work can be copied and distributed to anyone in -the United States without paying any fees or charges. If you are -redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase "Project -Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply -either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or -obtain permission for the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted -with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution -must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any -additional terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms -will be linked to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works -posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at the -beginning of this work. - -1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm -License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this -work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. - -1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this -electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without -prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with -active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project -Gutenberg-tm License. - -1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, -compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including -any word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access -to or distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format -other than "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official -version posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site -(www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense -to the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means -of obtaining a copy upon request, of the work in its original "Plain -Vanilla ASCII" or other form. Any alternate format must include the -full Project Gutenberg-tm License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. - -1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, -performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works -unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. - -1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing -access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works -provided that - -* You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from - the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method - you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed - to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he has - agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments must be paid - within 60 days following each date on which you prepare (or are - legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty - payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project - Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in - Section 4, "Information about donations to the Project Gutenberg - Literary Archive Foundation." - -* You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies - you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he - does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm - License. You must require such a user to return or destroy all - copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and discontinue - all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg-tm - works. - -* You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of - any money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the - electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days of - receipt of the work. - -* You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free - distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. - -1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work or group of works on different terms than -are set forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing -from both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and The -Project Gutenberg Trademark LLC, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm -trademark. Contact the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. - -1.F. - -1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable -effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread -works not protected by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project -Gutenberg-tm collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may -contain "Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate -or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other -intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or -other medium, a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or -cannot be read by your equipment. - -1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right -of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project -Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all -liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal -fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT -LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE -PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE -TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE -LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR -INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH -DAMAGE. - -1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a -defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can -receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a -written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you -received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium -with your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you -with the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in -lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the person -or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second -opportunity to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If -the second copy is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing -without further opportunities to fix the problem. - -1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth -in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO -OTHER WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT -LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. - -1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied -warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of -damages. If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement -violates the law of the state applicable to this agreement, the -agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or -limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or -unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the -remaining provisions. - -1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the -trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone -providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in -accordance with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the -production, promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm -electronic works, harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, -including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of -the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this -or any Project Gutenberg-tm work, (b) alteration, modification, or -additions or deletions to any Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any -Defect you cause. - -Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm - -Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of -electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of -computers including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It -exists because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations -from people in all walks of life. - -Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the -assistance they need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's -goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will -remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project -Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure -and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future -generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see -Sections 3 and 4 and the Foundation information page at -www.gutenberg.org Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit -501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the -state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal -Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification -number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent permitted by -U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. - -The Foundation's principal office is in Fairbanks, Alaska, with the -mailing address: PO Box 750175, Fairbanks, AK 99775, but its -volunteers and employees are scattered throughout numerous -locations. Its business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt -Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to -date contact information can be found at the Foundation's web site and -official page at www.gutenberg.org/contact - -For additional contact information: - - Dr. Gregory B. Newby - Chief Executive and Director - gbnewby@pglaf.org - -Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg -Literary Archive Foundation - -Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide -spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of -increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be -freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest -array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations -($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt -status with the IRS. - -The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating -charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United -States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a -considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up -with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations -where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To SEND -DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any particular -state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate - -While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we -have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition -against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who -approach us with offers to donate. - -International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make -any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from -outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. - -Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation -methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other -ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To -donate, please visit: www.gutenberg.org/donate - -Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works. - -Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project -Gutenberg-tm concept of a library of electronic works that could be -freely shared with anyone. For forty years, he produced and -distributed Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of -volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in -the U.S. unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not -necessarily keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper -edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search -facility: www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. - diff --git a/old/51126.zip b/old/51126.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 62e2fbb..0000000 --- a/old/51126.zip +++ /dev/null |
