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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/5112-0.txt b/5112-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..de1cdba --- /dev/null +++ b/5112-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6403 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Citation and Examination of William +Shakspeare, by Walter Savage Landor + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most +other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions +whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare + + +Author: Walter Savage Landor + + + +Release Date: February 9, 2015 [eBook #5112] +[This file was first posted on April 30, 2002] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE*** + + +Transcribed from the 1891 Chatto & Windus edition by David Price, email +ccx074@pglaf.org + + + + + + CITATION AND EXAMINATION + OF + William Shakspeare + + + EUSEBY TREEN JOSEPH CARNABY AND + SILAS GOUGH CLERK + + BEFORE THE WORSHIPFUL + + SIR THOMAS LUCY KNIGHT + + TOUCHING DEER-STEELING + + _On the Nineteenth Day of September in the Year of Grace 1582_ + + NOW FIRST PUBLISHED FROM ORIGINAL PAPERS + + TO WHICH IS ADDED + + A Conference of Master Edmund Spenser + A GENTLEMAN OF NOTE + WITH + THE EARL OF ESSEX + TOUCHING THE STATE OF IRELAND A.D. 1595 + + BY + WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR + + London + CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY + 1891 + + + + +EDITOR’S PREFACE. + + + “IT was an ancestor of my husband who _brought out_ the famous + Shakspeare.” + +These words were really spoken, and were repeated in conversation as most +ridiculous. Certainly such was very far from the lady’s intention; and +who knows to what extent they are true? + +The frolic of Shakspeare in deer-stealing was the cause of his _Hegira_; +and his connection with players in London was the cause of his writing +plays. Had he remained in his native town, his ambition had never been +excited by the applause of the intellectual, the popular, and the +powerful, which, after all, was hardly sufficient to excite it. He wrote +from the same motive as he acted,—to earn his daily bread. He felt his +own powers; but he cared little for making them felt by others more than +served his wants. + +The malignant may doubt, or pretend to doubt, the authenticity of the +_Examination_ here published. Let us, who are not malignant, be cautious +of adding anything to the noisome mass of incredulity that surrounds us; +let us avoid the crying sin of our age, in which the “Memoirs of a Parish +Clerk,” edited as they were by a pious and learned dignitary of the +Established Church, are questioned in regard to their genuineness; and +even the privileges of Parliament are inadequate to cover from the +foulest imputation—the imputation of having exercised his inventive +faculties—the elegant and accomplished editor of Eugene Aram’s +apprehension, trial, and defence. + +Indeed, there is little of real history, excepting in romances. Some of +these are strictly true to nature; while histories in general give a +distorted view of her, and rarely a faithful record either of momentous +or of common events. + +Examinations taken from the mouth are surely the most trustworthy. +Whoever doubts it may be convinced by Ephraim Barnett. + +The Editor is confident he can give no offence to any person who may +happen to bear the name of Lucy. The family of Sir Thomas became extinct +nearly half a century ago, and the estates descended to the Rev. Mr. John +Hammond, of Jesus College, in Oxford, a respectable Welsh curate, between +whom and him there existed at his birth eighteen prior claimants. He +took the name of Lucy. + +The reader will form to himself, from this “Examination of Shakspeare,” +more favourable opinion of Sir Thomas than is left upon his mind by the +dramatist in the character of Justice Shallow. The knight, indeed, is +here exhibited in all his pride of birth and station, in all his pride of +theologian and poet; he is led by the nose, while he believes that nobody +can move him, and shows some other weaknesses, which the least attentive +observer will discover; but he is not without a little kindness at the +bottom of the heart,—a heart too contracted to hold much, or to let what +it holds ebulliate very freely. But, upon the whole, we neither can +utterly hate nor utterly despise him. Ungainly as he is.— + + Circum præcordia ludit. + +The author of the “Imaginary Conversations” seems, in his “Boccacio and +Petrarca,” to have taken his idea of _Sir Magnus_ from this manuscript. +He, however, has adapted that character to the times; and in _Sir Magnus_ +the coward rises to the courageous, the unskilful in arms becomes the +skilful, and war is to him a teacher of humanity. With much +superstition, theology never molests him; scholarship and poetry are no +affairs of his. He doubts of himself and others, and is as suspicious in +his ignorance as Sir Thomas is confident. + +With these wide diversities, there are family features, such as are +likely to display themselves in different times and circumstances, and +some so generically prevalent as never to lie quite dormant in the breed. +In both of them there is parsimony, there is arrogance, there is contempt +of inferiors, there is abject awe of power, there is irresolution, there +is imbecility. But Sir Magnus has no knowledge, and no respect for it. +Sir Thomas would almost go thirty miles, even to Oxford, to see a fine +specimen of it, although, like most of those who call themselves the +godly, he entertains the most undoubting belief that he is competent to +correct the errors of the wisest and most practised theologian. + + + + +EDITOR’S APOLOGY. + + +A PART only of the many deficiencies which the reader will discover in +this book is attributable to the Editor. These, however, it is his duty +to account for, and he will do it as briefly as he can. + +The _fac-similes_ (as printers’ boys call them, meaning _specimens_) of +the handwriting of nearly all the persons introduced, might perhaps have +been procured had sufficient time been allowed for another journey into +Warwickshire. That of Shakspeare is known already in the signature to +his will, but deformed by sickness; that of Sir Thomas Lucy is extant at +the bottom of a commitment of a female vagrant, for having a sucking +child in her arms on the public road; that of Silas Gough is affixed to +the register of births and marriages, during several years, in the +parishes of Hampton Lucy and Charlecote, and certifies one death,—Euseby +Treen’s; surmised, at least, to be his by the letters “E. T.” cut on a +bench seven inches thick, under an old pollard-oak outside the park +paling of Charlecote, toward the northeast. For this discovery the +Editor is indebted to a most respectable, intelligent farmer in the +adjoining parish of Wasperton, in which parish Treen’s elder brother lies +buried. The worthy farmer is unwilling to accept the large portion of +fame justly due to him for the services he has thus rendered to +literature in elucidating the history of Shakspeare and his times. In +possession of another agricultural gentleman there was recently a very +curious piece of iron, believed by many celebrated antiquaries to have +constituted a part of a knight’s breast-plate. It was purchased for two +hundred pounds by the trustees of the British Museum, among whom, the +reader will be grieved to hear, it produced dissension and coldness; +several of them being of opinion that it was merely a gorget, while +others were inclined to the belief that it was the forepart of a +horse-shoe. The Committee of Taste and the Heads of the Archæological +Society were consulted. These learned, dispassionate, and benevolent men +had the satisfaction of conciliating the parties at variance,—each having +yielded somewhat and every member signing, and affixing his seal to the +signature, that, if indeed it be the forepart of a horse-shoe, it was +probably Ismael’s,—there being a curved indentation along it, resembling +the first letter of his name, and there being no certainty or record that +he died in France, or was left in that country by Sir Magnus. + +The Editor is unable to render adequate thanks to the Rev. Stephen +Turnover for the gratification he received in his curious library by a +sight of Joseph Carnaby’s name at full length, in red ink, coming from a +trumpet in the mouth of an angel. This invaluable document is upon an +engraving in a frontispiece to the New Testament. But since unhappily he +could procure no signature of Hannah Hathaway, nor of her mother, and +only a questionable one of Mr. John Shakspeare, the poet’s father,—there +being two, in two very different hands,—both he and the publisher were of +opinion that the graphical part of the volume would be justly censured as +extremely incomplete, and that what we could give would only raise +inextinguishable regret for that which we could not. On this reflection +all have been omitted. + +The Editor is unwilling to affix any mark of disapprobation on the very +clever engraver who undertook the sorrel mare; but as in the memorable +words of that ingenious gentleman from Ireland whose polished and +elaborate epigrams raised him justly to the rank of prime minister,— + + “White was not _so very_ white,”— + +in like manner it appeared to nearly all the artists he consulted that +the sorrel mare was not _so sorrel_ in print. + +There is another and a graver reason why the Editor was induced to reject +the contribution of his friend the engraver; and this is, a neglect of +the late improvements in his art, he having, unadvisedly or +thoughtlessly, drawn in the old-fashioned manner lines at the two sides +and at the top and bottom of his print, confining it to such limits as +paintings are confined in by their frames. Our spirited engravers, it is +well-known, disdain this thraldom, and not only give unbounded space to +their scenery, but also melt their figures in the air,—so advantageously, +that, for the most part, they approach the condition of cherubs. This is +the true aërial perspective, so little understood heretofore. Trees, +castles, rivers, volcanoes, oceans, float together in absolute vacancy; +the solid earth is represented, what we know it actually is, buoyant as a +bubble, so that no wonder if every horse is endued with all the +privileges of Pegasus, save and except our sorrel. Malicious carpers, +insensible or invidious of England’s glory, deny her in this beautiful +practice the merit of invention, assigning it to the Chinese in their +tea-cups and saucers; but if not absolutely new and ours, it must be +acknowledged that we have greatly improved and extended the invention. + +Such are the reasons why the little volume here laid before the public is +defective in those decorations which the exalted state of literature +demands. Something of compensation is supplied by a Memorandum of +Ephraim Barnett, written upon the inner cover, and printed below. + +The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little practised in the ways of +literature; much less is he gifted with that prophetic spirit which can +anticipate the judgment of the public. It may be that he is too idle or +too apathetic to think anxiously or much about the matter; and yet he has +been amused, in his earlier days, at watching the first appearance of +such few books as he believed to be the production of some powerful +intellect. He has seen people slowly rise up to them, like carp in a +pond when food is thrown into it; some of which carp snatch suddenly at a +morsel, and swallow it; others touch it gently with their barb, pass +deliberately by, and leave it; others wriggle and rub against it more +disdainfully; others, in sober truth, know not what to make of it, swim +round and round it, eye it on the sunny side, eye it on the shady, +approach it, question it, shoulder it, flap it with the tail, turn it +over, look askance at it, take a pea-shell or a worm instead of it, and +plunge again their heads into the comfortable mud. After some seasons +the same food will suit their stomachs better. + + + + +EXAMINATION, +ETC., ETC. + + +ABOUT one hour before noontide the youth WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, accused of +deer-stealing, and apprehended for that offence, was brought into the +great hall at Charlecote, where, having made his obeisance, it was most +graciously permitted him to stand. + +The worshipful Sir Thomas Lucy, Knight, seeing him right opposite, on the +farther side of the long table, and fearing no disadvantage, did frown +upon him with great dignity; then, deigning ne’er a word to the culprit, +turned he his face toward his chaplain, Sir Silas Gough, who stood beside +him, and said unto him most courteously, and unlike unto one who in his +own right commandeth,— + +“Stand out of the way! What are those two varlets bringing into the +room?” + +“The table, sir,” replied Master Silas, “upon the which the consumption +of the venison was perpetrated.” + +The youth, William Shakspeare, did thereupon pray and beseech his +lordship most fervently, in this guise:— + +“Oh, sir! do not let him turn the tables against me, who am only a simple +stripling, and he an old codger.” + +But Master Silas did bite his nether lip, and did cry aloud,— + +“Look upon those deadly spots!” + +And his worship did look thereupon most staidly, and did say in the ear +of Master Silas, but in such wise that it reached even unto mine, + +“Good honest chandlery, methinks!” + +“God grant it may turn out so!” ejaculated Master Silas. + +The youth, hearing these words, said unto him,— + +“I fear, Master Silas, gentry like you often pray God to grant what _he_ +would rather not; and now and then what _you_ would rather not.” + +Sir Silas was wroth at this rudeness of speech about God in the face of a +preacher, and said, reprovingly,— + +“Out upon thy foul mouth, knave! upon which lie slaughter and venison.” + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare sit mute awhile, and discomfited; then +turning toward Sir Thomas, and looking and speaking as one submiss and +contrite, he thus appealed unto him:— + +“Worshipful sir! were there any signs of venison on my mouth, Master +Silas could not for his life cry out upon it, nor help kissing it as +’twere a wench’s.” + +Sir Thomas looked upon him with most lordly gravity and wisdom, and said +unto him, in a voice that might have come from the bench: + +“Youth, thou speakest irreverently;” and then unto Master Silas: “Silas! +to the business on hand. Taste the fat upon yon boor’s table, which the +constable hath brought hither, good Master Silas! And declare upon oath, +being sworn in my presence, first, whether said fat do proceed of +venison; secondly, whether said venison be of buck or doe.” + +Whereupon the reverend Sir Silas did go incontinently, and did bend +forward his head, shoulders, and body, and did severally taste four white +solid substances upon an oaken board; said board being about two yards +long, and one yard four inches wide,—found in, and brought thither from, +the tenement or messuage of Andrew Haggit, who hath absconded. Of these +four white solid substances, two were somewhat larger than a groat, and +thicker; one about the size of King Henry the Eighth’s shilling, when our +late sovereign lord of blessed memory was toward the lustiest; and the +other, that is to say the middlemost, did resemble in some sort, a +mushroom, not over fresh, turned upward on its stalk. + +“And what sayest thou, Master Silas?” quoth the knight. + +In reply whereunto Sir Silas thus averred:— + + “Venison! o’ my conscience! + Buck! or burn me alive! + +The three splashes in the circumference are verily and indeed venison; +buck, moreover,—and Charlecote buck, upon my oath!” + +Then carefully tasting the protuberance in the centre, he spat it out, +crying,— + +“_Pho_! _pho_! _villain_! _villain_!” and shaking his fist at the +culprit. + +Whereat the said culprit smiled and winked, and said off-hand,— + +“Save thy spittle, Silas! It would supply a gaudy mess to the hungriest +litter; but it would turn them from whelps into wolvets. ’T is pity to +throw the best of thee away. Nothing comes out of thy mouth that is not +savoury and solid, bating thy wit, thy sermons, and thy promises.” + +It was my duty to write down the very words, irreverent as they are, +being so commanded. More of the like, it is to be feared, would have +ensued, but that Sir Thomas did check him, saying, shrewdly,— + +“Young man! I perceive that if I do not stop thee in thy courses, thy +name, being involved in thy company’s, may one day or other reach across +the county; and folks may handle it and turn it about, as it deserveth, +from Coleshill to Nuneaton, from Bromwicham to Brownsover. And who +knoweth but that, years after thy death, the very house wherein thou wert +born may be pointed at, and commented on, by knots of people, gentle and +simple! What a shame for an honest man’s son! Thanks to me, who +consider of measures to prevent it! Posterity shall laud and glorify me +for plucking thee clean out of her head, and for picking up timely a +ticklish skittle, that might overthrow with it a power of others just as +light. I will rid the hundred of thee, with God’s blessing!—nay, the +whole shire. We will have none such in our county; we justices are +agreed upon it, and we will keep our word now and forevermore. Woe +betide any that resembles thee in any part of him!” + +Whereunto Sir Silas added,— + +“We will dog him, and worry him, and haunt him, and bedevil him; and if +ever he hear a comfortable word, it shall be in a language very different +from his own.” + +“As different as thine is from a Christian’s,” said the youth. + +“Boy! thou art slow of apprehension,” said Sir Thomas, with much gravity; +and taking up the cue, did rejoin,— + +“Master Silas would impress upon thy ductile and tender mind the danger +of evil doing; that we, in other words that justice is resolved to follow +him up, even beyond his country, where he shall hear nothing better than +the Italian or the Spanish, or the black language, or the language of +Turk or Troubadour, or Tartar or Mongol. And, forsooth, for this gentle +and indirect reproof, a gentleman in priest’s orders is told by a +stripling that he lacketh Christianity! Who then shall give it?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Who, indeed? when the founder of the feast leaveth an invited guest so +empty! Yea, sir, the guest was invited, and the board was spread. The +fruits that lay upon it be there still, and fresh as ever; and the bread +of life in those capacious canisters is unconsumed and unbroken.” + + SIR SILAS (_aside_). + +“The knave maketh me hungry with his mischievous similitudes.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou hast aggravated thy offence, Wil Shakspeare! Irreverent caitiff! +is this a discourse for my chaplain and clerk? Can he or the worthy +scribe Ephraim (his worship was pleased to call me worthy) write down +such words as those, about litter and wolvets, for the perusal and +meditation of the grand jury? If the whole corporation of Stratford had +not unanimously given it against thee, still his tongue would catch thee, +as the evet catcheth a gnat. Know, sirrah, the reverend Sir Silas, +albeit ill appointed for riding, and not over-fond of it, goeth to every +house wherein is a venison feast for thirty miles round. Not a buck’s +hoof on any stable-door but it awakeneth his recollections like a red +letter.” + +This wholesome reproof did bring the youth back again to his right +senses; and then said he, with contrition, and with a wisdom beyond his +years, and little to be expected from one who had spoken just before so +unadvisedly and rashly,— + +“Well do I know it, your worship! And verily do I believe that a bone of +one being shovelled among the soil upon his coffin would forthwith +quicken {8a} him. Sooth to say, there is ne’er a buckhound in the county +but he treateth him as a godchild, patting him on the head, soothing his +velvety ear between thumb and forefinger, ejecting tick from tenement, +calling him ‘fine fellow,’ ‘noble lad,’ and giving him his blessing, as +one dearer to him than a king’s debt to a debtor, {8b} or a bastard to a +dad of eighty. This is the only kindness I ever heard of Master Silas +toward his fellow-creatures. Never hold me unjust, Sir Knight, to Master +Silas. Could I learn other good of him, I would freely say it; for we do +good by speaking it, and none is easier. Even bad men are not bad men +while they praise the just. Their first step backward is more +troublesome and wrenching to them than the first forward.” + +“In God’s name, where did he gather all this?” whispered his worship to +the chaplain, by whose side I was sitting. “Why, he talks like a man of +forty-seven, or more!” + +“I doubt his sincerity, sir!” replied the chaplain. “His words are +fairer now—” + +“Devil choke him for them!” interjected he, with an undervoice. + +“—and almost book-worthy; but out of place. What the scurvy cur yelped +against me, I forgive him as a Christian. Murrain upon such varlet +vermin! It is but of late years that dignities have come to be reviled. +The other parts of the Gospel were broken long before,—this was left us; +and now this likewise is to be kicked out of doors, amid the mutterings +of such mooncalves as him yonder.” + +“Too true, Silas!” said the knight, sighing deeply. “Things are not as +they were in our glorious wars of York and Lancaster. The knaves were +thinned then,—two or three crops a year of that rank squitch-grass which +it has become the fashion of late to call the people. There was some +difference then between buff doublets and iron mail, and the rogues felt +it. Well-a-day! we must bear what God willeth, and never repine, +although it gives a man the heart-ache. We are bound in duty to keep +these things for the closet, and to tell God of them only when we call +upon his holy name, and have him quite by ourselves.” + +Sir Silas looked discontented and impatient, and said, snappishly,— + +“Cast we off here, or we shall be at fault. Start him, sir!—prithee, +start him.” + +Again his worship, Sir Thomas, did look gravely and grandly, and taking a +scrap of paper out of the Holy Book then lying before him, did read +distinctly these words:— + +“Providence hath sent Master Silas back hither, this morning, to confound +thee in thy guilt.” + +Again, with all the courage and composure of an innocent man, and indeed +with more than what an innocent man ought to possess in the presence of a +magistrate, the youngster said, pointing toward Master Silas,— + +“The first moment he ventureth to lift up his visage from the table, hath +Providence marked him miraculously. I have heard of black malice. How +many of our words have more in them than we think of! Give a countryman +a plough of silver, and he will plough with it all the season, and never +know its substance. ’T is thus with our daily speech. What riches lie +hidden in the vulgar tongue of the poorest and most ignorant! What +flowers of Paradise lie under our feet, with their beauties and parts +undistinguished and undiscerned, from having been daily trodden on! O, +sir, look you!—but let me cover my eyes! Look at his lips! Gracious +Heaven! they were not thus when he entered. They are blacker now than +Harry Tewe’s bull-bitch’s!” + +Master Silas did lift up his eyes in astonishment and wrath; and his +worship, Sir Thomas, did open his wider and wider, and cried by fits and +starts:— + +“Gramercy! true enough! nay, afore God, too true by half! I never saw +the like! Who would believe it? I wish I were fairly rid of this +examination,—my hands washed clean thereof! Another time,—anon! We have +our quarterly sessions; we are many together. At present I remand—” + +And now, indeed, unless Sir Silas had taken his worship by the sleeve, he +would may-hap have remanded the lad. But Sir Silas, still holding the +sleeve and shaking it, said, hurriedly,— + +“Let me entreat your worship to ponder. What black does the fellow talk +of? My blood and bile rose up against the rogue; but surely I did not +turn black in the face, or in the mouth, as the fellow calls it?” + +Whether Master Silas had some suspicion and inkling of the cause or not, +he rubbed his right hand along his face and lips, and, looking upon it, +cried aloud,— + +“Ho, ho! is it off? There is some upon my finger’s end, I find. Now I +have it,—ay, there it is. That large splash upon the centre of the table +is tallow, by my salvation! The profligates sat up until the candle +burned out, and the last of it ran through the socket upon the board. We +knew it before. I did convey into my mouth both fat and smut!” + +“Many of your cloth and kidney do that, good Master Silas, and make no +wry faces about it,” quoth the youngster, with indiscreet merriment, +although short of laughter, as became him who had already stepped too far +and reached the mire. + +To save paper and time, I shall now, for the most part, write only what +they all said, not saying that they said it, and just copying out in my +clearest hand what fell respectively from their mouths. + + SIR SILAS. + +“I did indeed spit it forth, and emunge my lips, as who should not?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Would it were so!” + + SIR SILAS. + +“_Would it were so_! in thy teeth, hypocrite!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And, truly, I likewise do incline to hope and credit it, as thus +paraphrased and expounded.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Wait until this blessed day next year, sir, at the same hour. You shall +see it forth again at its due season; it would be no miracle if it +lasted. Spittle may cure sore eyes, but not blasted mouths and scald +consciences.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Why! who taught thee all this?” + +Then turned he leisurely toward Sir Silas, and placing his hand +outspreaden upon the arm of the chaplain, said unto him in a low, +judicial, hollow voice,— + +“Every word true and solemn! I have heard less wise saws from between +black covers.” + +Sir Silas was indignant at this under-rating, as he appeared to think it, +of the church and its ministry, and answered impatiently, with Christian +freedom,— + +“Your worship surely will not listen to this wild wizard in his +brothel-pulpit!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Do I live to hear Charlecote Hall called a brothel-pulpit? Alas, then, +I have lived too long!” + + SIR SILAS. + +“We will try to amend that for thee.” + +William seemed not to hear him, loudly as he spake and pointedly unto the +youngster, who wiped his eyes, crying,— + +“Commit me, sir! in mercy commit me! Master Ephraim! Oh, Master +Ephraim! A guiltless man may feel all the pangs of the guilty! Is it +you who are to make out the commitment? Dispatch! dispatch. I am +a-weary of my life. If I dared to lie, I would plead guilty.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Heyday! No wonder, Master Ephraim, thy entrails are moved and wamble. +Dost weep, lad? Nay, nay; thou bearest up bravely. Silas, I now find, +although the example come before me from humble life, that what my mother +said was true—’t was upon my father’s demise—‘In great grief there are +few tears.’” + +Upon which did the youth, Willy Shakspeare, jog himself by the memory, +and repeat these short verses, not wide from the same purport: + + “There are, alas, some depths of woe + Too vast for tears to overflow.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Let those who are sadly vexed in spirit mind that notion, whoever +indited it, and be men. I always was; but some little griefs have +pinched me woundily.” + +Master Silas grew impatient, for he had ridden hard that morning, and had +no cushion upon his seat, as Sir Thomas had. I have seen in my time that +he who is seated on beech-wood hath very different thoughts and +moralities from him who is seated on goose-feathers under doe-skin. But +that is neither here nor there, albeit, an’ I die, as I must, my heirs, +Judith and her boy Elijah, may note it. + +Master Silas, as above, looked sourishly, and cried aloud,— + +“The witnesses! the witnesses! testimony! testimony! We shall now see +whose black goes deepest. There is a fork to be had that can hold the +slipperiest eel, and a finger that can strip the slimiest. I cry your +worship to the witnesses.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay, indeed, we are losing the day; it wastes toward noon, and nothing +done. Call the witnesses. How are they called by name? Give me the +paper.” + +The paper being forthwith delivered into his worship’s hand by the +learned clerk, his worship did read aloud the name of Euseby Treen. +Whereupon did Euseby Treen come forth through the great hall-door which +was ajar, and answer most audibly,— + +“Your worship!” + +Straightway did Sir Thomas read aloud, in like form and manner, the name +of Joseph Carnaby; and in like manner as aforesaid did Joseph Carnaby +make answer and say,— + +“Your worship!” + +Lastly did Sir Thomas turn the light of his countenance on William +Shakspeare, saying,— + +“Thou seest these good men deponents against thee, William Shakspeare.” +And then did Sir Thomas pause. And pending this pause did William +Shakspeare look steadfastly in the faces of both; and stroking down his +own with the hollow of his hand from the jaw-bone to the chin-point, said +unto his honour,— + +“Faith! it would give me much pleasure, and the neighbourhood much +vantage, to see these two fellows good men. Joseph Carnaby and Euseby +Treen! Why! your worship! they know every hare’s form in +Luddington-field better than their own beds, and as well pretty nigh as +any wench’s in the parish.” + +Then turned he with jocular scoff unto Joseph Carnaby, thus accosting +him, whom his shirt, being made stiffer than usual for the occasion, +rubbed and frayed,— + +“Ay, Joseph! smoothen and soothe thy collar-piece again and again! Hark +ye! I know what smock that was knavishly cut from.” + +Master Silas rose up in high choler, and said unto Sir Thomas,— + +“Sir! do not listen to that lewd reviler; I wager ten groats I prove him +to be wrong in his scent. Joseph Carnaby is righteous and discreet.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“By daylight and before the parson. Bears and boars are tame creatures, +and discreet, in the sunshine and after dinner.” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“I do know his down-goings and uprisings.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The man and his wife are one, saith holy Scripture.” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. Few keep Lent like unto +him.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I warrant him, both lent and stolen.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou depose on particulars.” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“May it please your worship! I was returning from Hampton upon +Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and eleven at night, in +company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we came to the bottom of +Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in discourse. I plucked Euseby Treen +by the doublet, and whispered in his ear, ‘Euseby! Euseby! let us slink +along in the shadow of the elms and willows.’” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“_Willows and elm-trees_ were the words.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot agree in their own +story.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“The same thing, the same thing, in the main.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“By less differences than this estates have been lost, hearts broken, and +England, our country, filled with homeless, helpless, destitute orphans. +I protest against it.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member of the House of Lords. +They alone can protest.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Your attorney may _object_, not _protest_, before the lord judge. + +“Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby.” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, then—” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own story, man, and do not +borrow his.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more futile and frivolous.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do me justice by +hearing me attentively. I am young; nevertheless, having more than one +year written in the office of an attorney, and having heard and listened +to many discourses and questions on law, I cannot but remember the heavy +fine inflicted on a gentleman of this county who committed a poor man to +prison for being in possession of a hare, it being proved that the hare +was in his possession, and not he in the hare’s.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Synonymous term! synonymous term!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“In what term sayest thou was it? I do not remember the case.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! Jesuitical!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the law by its +perversions to the side of oppression and cruelty. The order of Jesuits, +I fear, is as numerous as its tenets are lax and comprehensive. I am +sorry to see their frocks flounced with English serge.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I don’t understand thee, viper!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy place. And do thou, Joseph +Carnaby, take up again the thread of thy testimony.” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“We were still at some distance from the party, when on a sudden Euseby +hung an —” {21a} + + SIR THOMAS. + +“As well write _drew back_, Master Ephraim and Master Silas! Be +circumspecter in speech, Master Joseph Carnaby! I did not look for such +rude phrases from that starch-warehouse under thy chin. Continue, man!” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“‘Euseby,’ said I in his ear, ‘what ails thee, Euseby?’ ‘I wag no +farther,’ quoth he. ‘What a number of names and voices!’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Dreadful gang! a number of names and voices! Had it been any other day +in the year but Allhallowmas eve! To steal a buck upon such a day! +Well! God may pardon even that. Go on, go on. But the laws of our +country must have their satisfaction and atonement. Were it upon any +other day in the calendar less holy, the buck were nothing, or next to +nothing, saving the law and our conscience and our good report. Yet we, +her Majesty’s justices, must stand in the gap, body and soul, against +evil-doers. Now do thou, in furtherance of this business, give thine aid +unto us, Joseph Carnaby!—remembering that mine eye from this +judgment-seat, and her Majesty’s bright and glorious one overlooking the +whole realm, and the broader of God above, are upon thee.” + +Carnaby did quail a matter at these words about the judgment-seat and the +broad eye, aptly and gravely delivered by him moreover who hath to +administer truth and righteousness in our ancient and venerable laws, and +especially, at the present juncture, in those against park-breaking and +deer-stealing. But finally, nought discomfited, and putting his hand +valiantly atwixt hip and midriff, so that his elbow well-nigh touched the +taller pen in the ink-pot, he went on. + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“‘_In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees_,’ said he, ‘_and get +nearer_.’ We were still at some distance, maybe a score of furlongs, +from the party—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou hast said it already—all save the score of furlongs.” + +“Hast room for them, Master Silas?” + +“Yea,” quoth Master Silas, “and would make room for fifty, to let the +fellow swing at his ease.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Hast room, Master Ephraim?” + +“’T is done, most worshipful!” said I. The learned knight did not +recollect that I could put fifty furlongs in a needle’s eye, give me pen +fine enough. + +But far be it from me to vaunt of my penmanship, although there be those +who do malign it, even in my own township and parish; yet they never have +unperched me from my calling, and have had hard work to take an idle +wench or two from under me on Saturday nights. + +I memorize thus much, not out of any malice or any soreness about me, but +that those of my kindred into whose hands it please God these papers do +fall hereafter, may bear up stoutly in such straits; and if they be good +at the cudgel, that they, looking first at their man, do give it him +heartily and unsparingly, keeping within law. + +Sir Thomas, having overlooked what we had written, and meditated a while +thereupon, said unto Joseph,— + +“It appeareth by thy testimony that there was a huge and desperate gang +of them afoot. Revengeful dogs! it is difficult to deal with them. The +laws forbid precipitancy and violence. A dozen or two may return and +harm me; not me, indeed, but my tenants and servants. I would fain act +with prudence, and like unto him who looketh abroad. He must tie his +shoe tightly who passeth through mire; he must step softly who steppeth +over stones; he must walk in the fear of the Lord (which, without a brag, +I do at this present feel upon me), who hopeth to reach the end of the +straightest road in safety.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Tut, tut! your worship! Her Majesty’s deputy hath matchlocks and +halters at a knight’s disposal, or the world were topsyturvy indeed.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“My mental ejaculations, and an influx of grace thereupon, have shaken +and washed from my brain all thy last words, good Joseph! Thy companion +here, Euseby Treen, said unto thee—ay—” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Said unto me, ‘What a number of names and voices! And there be but +three living men in all! And look again! Christ deliver us! all the +shadows save one go leftward; that one lieth right upon the river. It +seemeth a big, squat monster, shaking a little, as one ready to spring +upon its prey!’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“A dead man in his last agonies, no doubt! Your deer-stealer doth boggle +at nothing. He hath alway the knife in doublet and the devil at elbow. + +“I wot not of any keeper killed or missing. To lose one’s deer and +keeper too were overmuch. + +“Do, in God’s merciful name, hand unto me a glass of sack, Master Silas! +I wax faintish at the big, squat man. He hath harmed not only me, but +mine. Furthermore, the examination is grown so long.” + +Then was the wine delivered by Sir Silas into the hand of his worship, +who drank it off in a beaker of about half a pint,—but little to his +satisfaction, for he said shortly afterward,— + +“Hast thou poured no water into the sack, good Master Silas? It seemeth +weaker and washier than ordinary, and affordeth small comfort unto the +breast and stomach.” + +“Not I, truly, sir,” replied Master Silas “and the bottle is a fresh and +sound one. The cork reported on drawing, as the best diver doth on +sousing from Warwick bridge into Avon. A rare cork! as bright as the +glass bottle, and as smooth as the lips of any cow.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“My mouth is out of taste this morning; or the same wine, mayhap, hath a +different force and flavor in the dining-room and among friends. But to +business—what more?” + +“Euseby Treen, what may it be?” said I. + +“I know,” quoth he, “but dare not breathe it.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I thought I had taken a glass of wine, verily. Attention to my duty as +a magistrate is paramount. I mind nothing else when that lies before me. + +“Carnaby! I credit thy honesty, but doubt thy manhood. Why not breathe +it, with a vengeance?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“It was Euseby who dared not.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Stand still! Say nothing yet; mind my orders. Fair and softly! compose +thyself.” + +They all stood silent for some time, and looked very composed, awaiting +the commands of the knight. His mind was clearly in such a state of +devotion that peradventure he might not have descended for a while longer +to his mundane duties, had not Master Silas told him that, under the +shadow of his wing, their courage had returned and they were quite +composed again. + +“You may proceed,” said the knight. + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Master Treen did take off his cap and wipe his forehead. I, for the +sake of comforting him in this his heaviness, placed my hand upon his +crown; and truly I might have taken it for a tuft of bents, the hair on +end, the skin immovable as God’s earth!” + +Sir Thomas, hearing these words, lifted up his hands above his own head, +and in the loudest voice he had yet uttered did he cry,— + +“Wonderful are thy ways in Israel, O Lord!” + +So saying, the pious knight did strike his knee with the palm of his +right hand; and then gave he a sign, bowing his head and closing his +eyes, by which Master Carnaby did think he signified his pleasure that he +should go on deposing. And he went on thus:— + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“At this moment one of the accomplices cried, ‘Willy! Willy! prithee +stop! enough in all conscience! First thou divertedst us from our +undertaking with thy strange vagaries, thy Italian girls’ nursery sigh, +thy Pucks and pinchings, and thy Windsor whimsies. No kitten upon a bed +of marum ever played such antics. It was summer and winter, night and +day with us within the hour; and in such religion did we think and feel +it, we would have broken the man’s jaw who gainsaid it. We have slept +with thee under the oaks in the ancient forest of Arden, and we have +wakened from our sleep in the tempest far at sea. {29a} Now art thou for +frightening us again out of all the senses thou hadst given us, with +witches and women more murderous than they.’ + +“Then followed a deeper voice: ‘Stouter men and more resolute are few; +but thou, my lad, hast words too weighty for flesh and bones to bear up +against. And who knows but these creatures may pop amongst us at last, +as the wolf did, sure enough, upon him, the noisy rogue, who so long had +been crying _wolf_! and _wolf_!’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Well spoken, for two thieves; albeit I miss the meaning of the most +part. Did they prevail with the scapegrace and stop him?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“The last who had spoken did slap him on the shoulder, saying, ‘Jump into +the punt, lad, and across.’ Thereupon did Will Shakspeare jump into said +punt, and begin to sing a song about a mermaid.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir! is this credible? I will be sworn I never saw one; and verily do +believe that scarcely one in a hundred years doth venture so far up the +Avon.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“There is something in this. Thou mayest have sung about one, +nevertheless. Young poets take great liberties with all female kind; not +that mermaids are such very unlawful game for them, and there be songs +even about worse and staler fish. Mind ye that! Thou hast written +songs, and hast sung them, and lewd enough they be, God wot!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Pardon me, your worship! they were not mine then. Peradventure the song +about the mermaid may have been that ancient one which every boy in most +parishes has been singing for many years, and, perhaps, his father before +him; and somebody was singing it then, mayhap, to keep up his courage in +the night.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I never heard it.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Nobody would dare to sing in the presence of your worship, unless +commanded,—not even the mermaid herself.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Canst thou sing it?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Verily, I can sing nothing.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Canst thou repeat it from memory?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“It is so long since I have thought about it, that I may fail in the +attempt.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Try, however.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + + “‘The mermaid sat upon the rocks + All day long, + Admiring her beauty and combing her locks, + And singing a mermaid song.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What was it? what was it? I thought as much. There thou standest, like +a woodpecker, chattering and chattering, breaking the bark with thy beak, +and leaving the grub where it was. This is enough to put a saint out of +patience.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The wishes of your worship possess a mysterious influence,—I now +remember all. + + “‘And hear the mermaid’s song you may, + As sure as sure can be, + If you will but follow the sun all day, + And souse with him into the sea.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It must be an idle fellow who would take that trouble; besides, unless +he nicked the time he might miss the monster. There be many who are slow +to believe that the mermaid singeth.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Ah sir! not only the mermaid singeth, but the merman sweareth, as +another old song will convince you.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I would fain be convinced of God’s wonders in the great deeps, and would +lean upon the weakest reed like unto thee to manifest his glory. Thou +mayest convince me.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + + 1. + + “‘A wonderful story, my lasses and lads, + Peradventure you’ve heard from your grannams or dads, + Of a merman that came every night to woo + The spinster of spinsters, our Catherine Crewe. + + 2. + + “‘But Catherine Crewe + Is now seventy-two, + And avers she hath half forgotten + The truth of the tale, when you ask her about it, + And says, as if fain to deny it or flout it, + “_Pooh_! _the merman is dead and rotten_.” + + 3. + + “‘The merman came up as the mermen are wont, + To the top of the water, and then swam upon ’t; + And Catherine saw him with both her two eyes, + A lusty young merman full six feet in size. + + 4. + + “‘And Catherine was frighten’d, + Her scalp-skin it tighten’d, + And her head it swam strangely, although on dry land; + And the merman made bold + Eftsoons to lay hold + (_This_ Catherine well recollects) of her hand. + + 5. + + “‘But how could a merman, if ever so good, + Or if ever so clever, be well understood + By a simple young creature of our flesh and blood? + + 6. + + “‘Some tell us the merman + Can only speak German, + In a voice between grunting and snoring; + But Catherine says he had learned in the wars + The language, persuasions, and oaths of our tars, + And that even his voice was not foreign. + + 7. + + “‘Yet when she was asked how he managed to hide + The green fishy tail, coming out of the tide + For night after night above twenty, + “You troublesome creatures!” old Catherine replied, + “_In his pocket_; won’t that now content ye?”’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I have my doubts yet. I should have said unto her, seriously, ‘Kate! +Kate! I am not convinced.’ There may be witchcraft or sortilege in it. +I would have made it a star-chamber matter.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“It was one, sir.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And now I am reminded by this silly, childish song,—which, after all, is +not the true mermaid’s,—thou didst tell me, Silas, that the papers found +in the lad’s pocket were intended for poetry.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I wish he had missed his aim, sir, in your park, as he hath missed it in +his poetry. The papers are not worth reading; they do not go against him +in the point at issue.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“We must see that,—they being taken upon his person when apprehended.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Let Ephraim read them, then; it behooveth not me, a Master of Arts, to +con a whelp’s whining.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Do thou read them aloud unto us, good Master Ephraim.” + +Whereupon I took the papers which young Willy had not bestowed much pains +on; and they posed and puzzled me grievously, for they were blotted and +scrawled in many places, as if somebody had put him out. These likewise +I thought fit, after long consideration, to write better, and preserve, +great as the loss of time is when men of business take in hand such +unseemly matters. However, they are decenter than most, and not without +their moral; for example:— + + “TO THE OWLET. + + “Who, O thou sapient, saintly bird! + Thy shouted warnings ever heard + Unbleached by fear? + The blue-faced blubbering imp, who steals + Yon turnips, thinks thee at his heels, + Afar or near. + + “The brawnier churl, who brags at times + To front and top the rankest crimes,— + To paunch a deer, + Quarter a priest, or squeeze a wench,— + Scuds from thee, clammy as a tench, + He knows not where. + + “For this the righteous Lord of all + Consigns to thee the castle-wall, + When, many a year, + Closed in the chancel-vaults, are eyes + Rainy or sunny at the sighs + Of knight or peer.” + +Sir Thomas, when I had ended, said unto me, + +“No harm herein; but are they over?” + +I replied, “Yea, sir!” + +“I miss the _posy_,” quoth he; “there is usually a lump of sugar, or a +smack thereof at the bottom of the glass. They who are inexperienced in +poetry do write it as boys do their copies in the copy-book, without a +flourish at the finis. It is only the master who can do this +befittingly.” + +I bowed unto his worship reverentially, thinking of a surety he meant me, +and returned my best thanks in set language. But his worship rebuffed +them, and told me graciously that he had an eye on another of very +different quality; that the plain sense of his discourse might do for me, +the subtler was certainly for himself. He added that in his younger days +he had heard from a person of great parts, and had since profited by it, +that ordinary poets are like adders,—the tail blunt and the body rough, +and the whole reptile cold-blooded and sluggish: “whereas we,” he +subjoined, “leap and caracole and curvet, and are as warm as velvet, and +as sleek as satin, and as perfumed as a Naples fan, in every part of us; +and the end of our poems is as pointed as a perch’s back-fin, and it +requires as much nicety to pick it up as a needle{38a} at nine groats the +hundred.” + +Then turning toward the culprit, he said mildly unto him,— + +“Now why canst thou not apply thyself unto study? Why canst thou not ask +advice of thy superiors in rank and wisdom? In a few years, under good +discipline, thou mightest rise from the owlet unto the peacock. I know +not what pleasant things might not come into the youthful head thereupon. + +“He was the bird of Venus, {39b} goddess of beauty. He flew down (I +speak as a poet, and not in my quality of knight and Christian) with half +the stars of heaven upon his tail; and his long, blue neck doth verily +appear a dainty slice out of the solid sky.” + +Sir Silas smote me with his elbow, and said in my ear,— + +“He wanteth not this stuffing; he beats a pheasant out of the kitchen, to +my mind, take him only at the pheasant’s size, and don’t (upon your life) +overdo him. + +“Never be cast down in spirit, nor take it too ‘grievously to heart, if +the colour be a suspicion of the pinkish,—no sign of rawness in that; +none whatever. It is as becoming to him as to the salmon; it is as +natural to your pea-chick in his best cookery, as it is to the finest +October morning,—moist underfoot, when partridge’s and puss’s and +renard’s scent lies sweetly.” + +Willie Shakspeare, in the mean time, lifted up his hands above his ears +half a cubit, and taking breath again, said, audibly, although he willed +it to be said unto himself alone,— + +“O that knights could deign to be our teachers! Methinks I should +briefly spring up into heaven, through the very chink out of which the +peacock took his neck.” + +Master Silas, who like myself and the worshipful knight, did overhear +him, said angrily,— + +“To spring up into heaven, my lad, it would be as well to have at least +one foot upon the ground to make the spring withal. I doubt whether we +shall leave thee this vantage.” + +“Nay, nay! thou art hard upon him, Silas,” said the knight. + +I was turning over the other papers taken from the pocket of the culprit +on his apprehension, and had fixed my eyes on one, when Sir Thomas caught +them thus occupied, and exclaimed,— + +“Mercy upon us! have we more?” + +“Your patience, worshipful sir!” said I; “must I forward?” + +“Yea, yea,” quoth he, resignedly, “we must go through; we are pilgrims in +this life.” + +Then did I read, in a clear voice, the contents of paper the second, +being as followeth:— + + “THE MAID’S LAMENT. + + “I loved him not; and yet, now he is gone, + I feel I am alone. + I check’d him while he spoke; yet, could he speak, + Alas! I would not check. + For reasons not to love him once I sought, + And wearied all my thought + To vex myself and him: I now would give + My love could he but live + Who lately lived for me, and when he found + ’T was vain, in holy ground + He hid his face amid the shades of death! + I waste for him my breath + Who wasted his for me! but mine returns, + And this loin bosom burns + With stifling heat, heaving it up in sleep, + And waking me to weep + Tears that had melted his soft heart. For years + Wept he as bitter tears! + _Merciful God_! such was his latest prayer, + _These may she never share_! + Quieter is his breath, his breast more cold, + Than daisies in the mould, + Where children spell, athwart the churchyard gate, + His name and life’s brief date. + Pray for him, gentle souls, whoe’er you be, + And, oh! pray too for me!” + +Sir Thomas had fallen into a most comfortable and refreshing slumber ere +this lecture was concluded; but the pause broke it, as there be many who +experience after the evening service in our parish-church. Howbeit, he +had presently all his wits about him, and remembered well that he had +been carefully counting the syllables, about the time when I had pierced +as far as into the middle. + +“Young man,” said he to Willy, “thou givest short measure in every other +sack of the load. Thy uppermost stake is of right length; the undermost +falleth off, methinks. + +“Master Ephraim, canst thou count syllables? I mean no offence. I may +have counted wrongfully myself, not being born nor educated for an +accountant.” + +At such order I did count; and truly the suspicion was as just as if he +had neither been a knight nor a sleeper. + +“Sad stuff! sad stuff, indeed!” said Master Silas, “and smelling of +popery and wax-candles.” + +“Ay?” said Sir Thomas, “I must sift that.” + +“If praying for the dead is not popery,” said Master Silas, “I know not +what the devil is. Let them pray for us; they may know whether it will +do us any good. We need not pray for them; we cannot tell whether it +will do them any. I call this sound divinity.” + +“Are our churchmen all agreed thereupon?” asked Sir Thomas. + +“The wisest are,” replied Master Silas. + +“There are some lank rascals who will never agree upon anything but upon +doubting. I would not give ninepence for the best gown upon the most +thrifty of ’em; and their fingers are as stiff and hard with their +pedlary, knavish writing, as any bishop’s are with chalk-stones won +honestly from the gout.” + +Sir Thomas took the paper up from the table on which I had laid it, and +said after a while,— + +“The man may only have swooned. I scorn to play the critic, or to ask +any one the meaning of a word; but, sirrah!” + +Here he turned in his chair from the side of Master Silas, and said unto +Willy,— + +“William Shakspeare! out of this thraldom in regard to popery, I hope, by +God’s blessing, to deliver thee. If ever thou repeatest the said verses, +knowing the man to be to all intents and purposes a dead man, prythee +read the censurable line as thus corrected,— + + ‘Pray for our Virgin Queen, gentles! whoe’er you be.’ + +although it is not quite the thing that another should impinge so closely +on her skirts. + +“By this improvement, of me suggested, thou mayest make some amends—a +syllable or two—for the many that are weighed in the balance and are +found wanting.” + +Then turning unto me, as being conversant by my profession in such +matters, and the same being not very worthy of learned and staid clerks +the like of Master Silas, he said,— + +“Of all the youths that did ever write in verse, this one verily is he +who hath the fewest flowers and devices. But it would be loss of time to +form a border, in the fashion of a kingly crown, or a dragon, or a Turk +on horseback, out of buttercups and dandelions. + +“Master Ephraim! look at these badgers! with a long leg on one quarter +and a short leg on the other. The wench herself might well and truly +have said all that matter without the poet, bating the rhymes and metre. +Among the girls in the country there are many such _shilly-shallys_, who +give themselves sore eyes and sharp eye-water; I would cure them rod in +hand.” + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare say, with great humility,— + +“So would I, may it please your worship, an they would let me.” + +“Incorrigible sluts! Out upon ’em! and thou art no better than they +are,” quoth the knight. + +Master Silas cried aloud, “No better, marry! they at the worst are but +carted and whipped for the edification of the market-folks. {44a} Not a +squire or parson in the country round but comes in his best to see a man +hanged.” + +“The edification then is higher by a deal,” said William, very +composedly. + +“Troth! is it,” replied Master Silas. “The most poisonous reptile has +the richest jewel in his head; thou shalt share the richest gift bestowed +upon royalty, and shalt cure the king’s evil.” {45a} + +“It is more tractable, then, than the church’s,” quoth William; and, +turning his face toward the chair, he made an obeisance to Sir Thomas, +saying,— + +“Sir! the more submissive my behaviour is, the more vehement and +boisterous is Master Silas. My gentlest words serve only to carry him +toward the contrary quarter, as the south wind bloweth a ship northward.” + +“Youth,” said Sir Thomas, smiling most benignly, “I find, and well indeed +might I have surmised, thy utter ignorance of winds, equinoxes, and +tides. Consider now a little! With what propriety can a wind be called +a south wind if it bloweth a vessel to the north? Would it be a south +wind that blew it from this hall into Warwick market-place?” + +“It would be a strong one,” said Master Silas unto me, pointing his +remark, as witty men are wont, with the elbow-pan. + +But Sir Thomas, who waited for an answer, and received none, continued,— + +“Would a man be called a good man who tended and pushed on toward evil?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I stand corrected. I could sail to Cathay or Tartary {46a} with half +the nautical knowledge I have acquired in this glorious hall. + +“The devil impelling a mortal to wrong courses, is thereby known to be +the devil. He, on the contrary, who exciteth to good is no devil, but an +angel of light, or under the guidance of one. The devil driveth unto his +own home; so doth the south wind, so doth the north wind. + +“Alas! alas! we possess not the mastery over our own weak minds when a +higher spirit standeth nigh and draweth us within his influence.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Those thy words are well enough,—very well, very good, wise, discreet, +judicious beyond thy years. But then that _sailing_ comes in an awkward, +ugly way across me,—that _Cathay_, that _Tartarus_! + +“Have a care! Do thou nothing rashly. Mind! an thou stealest my punt +for the purpose, I send the constable after thee or e’er thou art half +way over.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He would make a stock-fish of me an he caught me. It is hard sailing +out of his straits, although they be carefully laid down in most +parishes, and may have taken them from actual survey.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Sir, we have bestowed on him already well-nigh a good hour of our time.” + +Sir Thomas, who was always fond of giving admonition and reproof to the +ignorant and erring, and who had found the seeds (little mustard-seeds, +’t is true, and never likely to arise into the great mustard-tree of the +Gospel) in the poor lad Willy, did let his heart soften a whit tenderer +and kindlier than Master Silas did, and said unto Master Silas,— + +“A good hour of our time! Yea, Silas! and thou wouldst give _him_ +eternity!” + +“What, sir! would you let him go?” said Master Silas. “Presently we +shall have neither deer nor dog, neither hare nor coney, neither swan nor +heron; every carp from pool, every bream from brook, will be groped for. +The marble monuments in the church will no longer protect the leaden +coffins; and if there be any ring of gold on the finger of knight or +dame, it will be torn away with as little ruth and ceremony as the ring +from a butchered sow’s snout.” + +“Awful words! Master Silas,” quoth the knight, musing; “but thou +mistakest my intentions. I let him not go; howbeit, at worst I would +only mark him in the ear, and turn him up again after this warning, +peradventure with a few stripes to boot athwart the shoulders, in order +to make them shrug a little, and shake off the burden of idleness.” + +Now I, having seen, I dare not say the innocence, but the innocent and +simple manner of Willy, and pitying his tender years, and having an +inkling that he was a lad, poor Willy! whom God had endowed with some +parts, and into whose breast he had instilled that milk of +loving-kindness by which alone we can be like unto those little children +of whom is the household and kingdom of our Lord,—I was moved, yea, even +unto tears. And now, to bring gentler thoughts into the hearts of Master +Silas and Sir Thomas, who, in his wisdom, deemed it a light punishment to +slit an ear or two, or inflict a wiry scourging, I did remind his worship +that another paper was yet unread, at least to them, although I had been +perusing it. + +This was much pleasanter than the two former, and overflowing with the +praises of the worthy knight and his gracious lady; and having an echo to +it in another voice, I did hope thereby to disarm their just wrath and +indignation. It was thus couched:— + + “FIRST SHEPHERD. + + “Jesu! what lofty elms are here! + Let me look through them at the clear, + Deep sky above, and bless my star + That such a worthy knight’s they are! + + “SECOND SHEPHERD. + + “Innocent creatures! how those deer + Trot merrily, and romp and rear! + + “FIRST SHEPHERD. + + “The glorious knight who walks beside + His most majestic lady bride, + + “SECOND SHEPHERD. + + “Under these branches spreading wide, + + “FIRST SHEPHERD. + + “Carries about so many cares + Touching his ancestors and heirs, + That came from Athens and from Rome— + + “SECOND SHEPHERD. + + “As many of them as are come— + + “FIRST SHEPHERD. + + “Nought else the smallest lodge can find + In the vast manors of his mind; + Envying not Solomon his wit— + + “SECOND SHEPHERD. + + “No, nor his women not a bit; + Being well-built and well-behavèd + As Solomon, I trow, or David. + + “FIRST SHEPHERD. + + “And taking by his jewell’d hand + The jewel of that lady bland, + He sees the tossing antlers pass + And throw quaint shadows o’er the grass; + While she alike the hour beguiles, + And looks at him and them, and smiles. + + “SECOND SHEPHERD. + + “With conscience proof ’gainst Satan’s shock, + Albeit finer than her smock, {50a} + Marry! her smiles are not of vanity, + But resting on sound Christianity. + Faith, you would swear, had nail’d {50b} her ears on + The book and cushion of the parson.” + +“Methinks the rhyme at the latter end might be bettered,” said Sir +Thomas. “The remainder is indited not unaptly. But, young man, never +having obtained the permission of my honourable dame to praise her in +guise of poetry, I cannot see all the merit I would fain discern in the +verses. She ought first to have been sounded; and it being certified +that she disapproved not her glorification, then might it be trumpeted +forth into the world below.” + +“Most worshipful knight,” replied the youngster, “I never could take it +in hand to sound a dame of quality,—they are all of them too deep and too +practised for me, and have better and abler men about ’em. And surely I +did imagine to myself that if it were asked of any honourable man +(omitting to speak of ladies) whether he would give permission to be +openly praised, he would reject the application as a gross offence. It +appeareth to me that even to praise one’s self, although it be shameful, +is less shameful than to throw a burning coal into the incense-box that +another doth hold to waft before us, and then to snift and simper over +it, with maidenly, wishful coyness, as if forsooth one had no hand in +setting it asmoke.” + +Then did Sir Thomas, in his zeal to instruct the ignorant, and so make +the lowly hold up their heads, say unto him,— + +“Nay, but all the great do thus. Thou must not praise them without leave +and license. Praise unpermitted is plebeian praise. It is presumption +to suppose that thou knowest enough of the noble and the great to +discover their high qualities. They alone could manifest them unto thee. +It requireth much discernment and much time to enucleate and bring into +light their abstruse wisdom and gravely featured virtues. Those of +ordinary men lie before thee in thy daily walks; thou mayest know them by +converse at their tables, as thou knowest the little tame squirrel that +chippeth his nuts in the open sunshine of a bowling-green. But beware +how thou enterest the awful arbours of the great, who conceal their +magnanimity in the depths of their hearts, as lions do.” + +He then paused; and observing the youth in deep and earnest meditation +over the fruits of his experience, as one who tasted and who would fain +digest them; he gave him encouragement, and relieved the weight of his +musings by kind interrogation. + +“So, then, these verses are thine own?” The youth answered,— + +“Sir, I must confess my fault.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And who was the shepherd written here _Second Shepherd_, that had the +ill manners to interrupt thee? Methinks, in helping thee to mount the +saddle, he pretty nigh tossed thee over, {53a} with his jerks and +quirks.” + +Without waiting for any answer, his worship continued his interrogations. + +“But do you woolstaplers call yourselves by the style and title of +shepherds?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Verily, sir, do we; and I trust by right. The last owner of any place +is called the master more properly than the dead and gone who once held +it. If that be true (and who doubts it?) we, who have the last of the +sheep, namely, the wool and skin, and who buy all of all the flock, +surely may more properly be called shepherds than those idle vagrants who +tend them only for a season, selling a score or purchasing a score, as +may happen.” + +Here Sir Thomas did pause a while, and then said unto Master Silas,— + +“My own cogitations, and not this stripling, have induced me to consider +and to conclude a weighty matter for knightly scholarship. I never could +rightly understand before how Colin Clout, and sundry others calling +themselves shepherds, should argue like doctors in law, physic, and +divinity. + +“Silas! they were woolstaplers; and they must have exercised their wits +in dealing with tithe-proctors and parsons, and moreover with fellows of +colleges from our two learned universities, who have sundry lands held +under them, as thou knowest, and take the small tithes in kind. Colin +Clout, methinks, from his extensive learning, might have acquired enough +interest with the Queen’s Highness to change his name for the better, +and, furthermore, her royal license to carry armorial bearings, in no +peril of taint from so unsavoury an appellation.” + +Master Silas did interrupt this discourse, by saying,— + +“May it please your worship, the constable is waiting.” + +Whereat Sir Thomas said, tartly,— + +“And let him wait.” {55a} + +Then to me,— + +“I hope we have done with verses, and are not to be befooled by the lad’s +nonsense touching mermaids or worse creatures.” + +Then to Will,— + +“William Shakspeare! we live in a Christian land, a land of great +toleration and forbearance. Three score cartsful of fagots a year are +fully sufficient to clear our English air from every pestilence of heresy +and witchcraft. It hath not alway been so, God wot! Innocent and guilty +took their turns before the fire, like geese and capons. The spit was +never cold; the cook’s sleeve was ever above the elbow. Countrymen came +down from distant villages into towns and cities, to see perverters whom +they had never heard of, and to learn the righteousness of hatred. When +heretics waxed fewer the religious began to grumble that God, in losing +his enemies, had also lost his avengers. + +“Do not thou, William Shakspeare, dig the hole for thy own stake. If +thou canst not make men wise, do not make them merry at thy cost. We are +not to be paganised any more. Having struck from our calendars, and +unnailed from our chapels, many dozens of decent saints, with as little +compunction and remorse as unlucky lads throw frog-spawn and tadpoles out +of stagnant ditches, never let us think of bringing back among us the +daintier divinities they ousted. All these are the devil’s imps, +beautiful as they appear in what we falsely call works of genius, which +really and truly are the devil’s own,—statues more graceful than +humanity, pictures more living than life, eloquence that raised single +cities above empires, poor men above kings. If these are not Satan’s +works, where are they? I will tell thee where they are likewise. In +holding vain converse with false gods. The utmost we can allow in +propriety is to call a knight Phœbus, and a dame Diana. They are not +meat for every trencher. + +“We must now proceed straightforward with the business on which thou +comest before us. What further sayest thou, witness?” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“His face was toward me; I saw it clearly. The graver man followed him +into the punt, and said, roughly, ‘We shall get hanged as sure as thou +pipest.’ + +“Whereunto he answered,— + + ‘Naturally, as fall upon the ground + The leaves in winter and the girls in spring.’ + +And then began he again with the mermaid; whereat the graver man clapped +a hand before his mouth, and swore he should take her in wedlock, to have +and to hold, if he sang another stave. ‘And thou shalt be her pretty +little bridemaid,’ quoth he gaily to the graver man, chucking him under +the chin.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And what did Carnaby say unto thee, or what didst thou say unto +Carnaby?” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“Carnaby said unto me, somewhat tauntingly, ‘The big squat man, that lay +upon thy bread-basket like a nightmare, is a punt at last, it seems.’ + +“‘Punt, and more too,’ answered I. ‘Tarry awhile, and thou shalt see +this punt (so let me call it) lead them into temptation, and swamp them +or carry them to the gallows; I would not stay else.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And what didst thou, Joseph Carnaby?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Finding him neither slack nor shy, I readily tarried. We knelt down +opposite each other, and said our prayers; and he told me he was now +comfortable. ‘The evil one,’ said he, ‘hath enough to mind yonder: he +shall not hurt us.’ + +“Never was a sweeter night, had there been but some mild ale under it, +which any one would have sworn it was made for. The milky way looked +like a long drift of hail-stones on a sunny ridge.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Hast thou done describing?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Yea, an please your worship.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“God’s blessing be upon thee, honest Carnaby! I feared a moon-fall. In +our days nobody can think about a plum-pudding but the moon comes down +upon it. I warrant ye this lad here hath as many moons in his poems as +the Saracens had in their banners.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I have not hatched mine yet, sir. Whenever I do I trust it will be +worth taking to market.” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“I said all I know of the stars; but Master Euseby can run over half a +score and upward, here and there. ‘Am I right, or wrong?’ cried he, +spreading on the back of my hand all his fingers, stiff as antlers and +cold as icicles. ‘Look up, Joseph! Joseph! there is no Lucifer in the +firmament!’ I myself did feel queerish and qualmy upon hearing that a +star was missing, being no master of gainsaying it; and I abased my eyes, +and entreated of Euseby to do in like manner. And in this posture did we +both of us remain; and the missing star did not disquiet me; and all the +others seemed as if they knew us and would not tell of us; and there was +peace and pleasantness over sky and earth. And I said to my companion,— + +“‘How quiet now, good Master Euseby, are all God’s creatures in this +meadow, because they never pry into such high matters, but breathe +sweetly among the pig-nuts. The only things we hear or see stirring are +the glow-worms and dormice, as though they were sent for our edification, +teaching us to rest contented with our own little light, and to come out +and seek our sustenance where none molest or thwart us.’” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Ye would have it thus, no doubt, when your pockets and pouches are full +of gins and nooses.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“A bridle upon thy dragon’s tongue! And do thou, Master Joseph, quit the +dormice and glow-worms, and tell us whither did the rogues go.” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“I wot not after they had crossed the river they were soon out of sight +and hearing.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Went they toward Charlecote?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Their first steps were thitherward.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Did they come back unto the punt?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“They went down the stream in it, and crossed the Avon some fourscore +yards below where we were standing. They came back in it, and moored it +to the sedges in which it had stood before.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“How long were they absent?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Within an hour, or thereabout, all the three men returned. Will +Shakspeare and another were sitting in the middle, the third punted. + +“‘Remember now, gentles!’ quoth William Shakspeare, ‘the road we have +taken is henceforward a footpath for ever, according to law.’ + +“‘How so?’ asked the punter, turning toward him, + +“‘Forasmuch as a corpse hath passed along it,’ answered he. + +“Whereupon both Euseby and myself did forthwith fall upon our faces, +commending our souls unto the Lord.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It was then really the dead body that quivered so fearfully upon the +water, covering all the punt! Christ, deliver us! I hope the keeper +they murdered was not Jeremiah. His wife and four children would be very +chargeable, and the man was by no means amiss. Proceed! what further?” + +“On reaching the bank, ‘I never sat pleasanter in my lifetime,’ said +William Shakspeare, ‘than upon this carcass.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Lord have mercy upon us! Thou upon a carcass, at thy years!” + +And the knight drew back his chair half an ell farther from the table, +and his lips quivered at the thought of such inhumanity. + +“And what said he more? and what did he?” asked the knight. + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“He patted it smartly, and said, ‘Lug it out; break it.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“These four poor children! who shall feed them?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Sir! in God’s name have you forgotten that Jeremiah is gone to Nuneaton +to see his father, and that the murdered man is the buck?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“They killed the buck likewise. But what, ye cowardly varlets! have ye +been deceiving me all this time? And thou, youngster! couldst thou say +nothing to clear up the case? Thou shalt smart for it. Methought I had +lost by a violent death the best servant ever man had—righteous, if there +be no blame in saying it, as the prophet whose name he beareth, and brave +as the lion of Judah.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, if these men could deceive your worship for a moment, they might +deceive me for ever. I could not guess what their story aimed at, except +my ruin. I am inclined to lean for once toward the opinion of Master +Silas, and to believe it was really the stolen buck on which this William +(if indeed there is any truth at all in the story) was sitting.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What more hast thou for me that is not enigma or parable?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“I did not see the carcass, man’s or beast’s, may it please your worship, +and I have recited and can recite that only which I saw and heard. After +the words of lugging out and breaking it, knives were drawn accordingly. +It was no time to loiter or linger. We crope back under the shadow of +the alders and hazels on the high bank that bordereth Mickle Meadow, and, +making straight for the public road, hastened homeward.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Hearing this deposition, dost thou affirm the like upon thy oath, Master +Euseby Treen, or dost thou vary in aught essential?” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“Upon my oath I do depose and affirm the like, and truly the identical +same; and I will never more vary upon aught essential.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I do now further demand of thee whether thou knowest anything more +appertaining unto this business.” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“Ay, verily; that your worship may never hold me for timorsome and +superstitious, I do furthermore add that some other than deer-stealers +was abroad. In sign whereof, although it was the dryest and clearest +night of the season, my jerkin was damp inside and outside when I reached +my house-door.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I warrant thee, Euseby, the damp began not at the outside. A word in +thy ear—Lucifer was thy tapster, I trow.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Irreverent swine! hast no awe nor shame. Thou hast aggravated thy +offence, William Shakspeare, by thy foul-mouthedness.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I must remind your worship that he not only has committed this iniquity +afore, but hath pawed the puddle he made, and relapsed into it after due +caution and reproof. God forbid that what he spake against me, out of +the gall of his proud stomach, should move me. I defy him, a low, +ignorant wretch, a rogue and vagabond, a thief and cut-throat, a — {66a} +monger and mutton-eater.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Your worship doth hear the learned clerk’s testimony in my behalf. ‘Out +of the mouth of babes and sucklings’—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas, the youth has failings—a madcap; but he is pious.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Alas, no, sir! Would I were! But Sir Silas, like the prophet, came to +curse, and was forced to bless me, even me, a sinner, a mutton-eater!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou urgedst him. He beareth no ill-will toward thee. Thou knewedst, I +suspect, that the blackness in his mouth proceeded from a natural cause.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The Lord is merciful! I was brought hither in jeopardy; I shall return +in joy. Whether my innocence be declared or otherwise, my piety and +knowledge will be forwarded and increased; for your worship will +condescend, even from the judgment-seat, to enlighten the ignorant where +a soul shall be saved or lost. And I, even I, may trespass a moment on +your courtesy. I quail at the words _natural cause_. Be there any +such?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Youth! I never thought thee so staid. Thou hast, for these many +months, been represented unto me as one dissolute and light, much given +unto mummeries and mysteries, wakes and carousals, cudgel-fighters and +mountebanks and wanton women. They do also represent of thee—I hope it +may be without foundation—that thou enactest the parts, not simply of +foresters and fairies, girls in the green-sickness and friars, lawyers +and outlaws, but likewise, having small reverence for station, of kings +and queens, knights and privy-counsellors, in all their glory. It hath +been whispered, moreover, and the testimony of these two witnesses doth +appear in some measure to countenance and confirm it, that thou hast at +divers times this last summer been seen and heard alone, inasmuch as +human eye may discover, on the narrow slip of greensward between the Avon +and the chancel, distorting thy body like one possessed, and uttering +strange language, like unto incantation. This, however, cometh not +before me. Take heed! take heed unto thy ways; there are graver things +in law even than homicide and deer-stealing.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“And strong against him. Folks have been consumed at the stake for +pettier felonies and upon weaker evidence.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“To that anon.” + +William Shakspeare did hold down his head, answering nought. And Sir +Thomas spake again unto him, as one mild and fatherly, if so be that such +a word may be spoken of a knight and parliament-man. And these are the +words he spake:— + +“Reason and ruminate with thyself now. To pass over and pretermit the +danger of representing the actions of the others, and mainly of lawyers +and churchmen, the former of whom do pardon no offences, and the latter +those only against God, having no warrant for more, canst thou believe it +innocent to counterfeit kings and queens? Supposest thou that if the +impression of their faces on a farthing be felonious and rope-worthy, the +imitation of head and body, voice and bearing, plume and strut, crown and +mantle, and everything else that maketh them royal and glorious, be aught +less? Perpend, young man, perpend! Consider, who among inferior mortals +shall imitate them becomingly? Dreamest thou they talk and act like +checkmen at Banbury fair? How can thy shallow brain suffice for their +vast conceptions? How darest thou say, as they do: ‘Hang this fellow; +quarter that; flay; mutilate; stab; shoot; press; hook; torture; burn +alive’? These are royalties. Who appointed thee to such office? The +Holy Ghost? He alone can confer it; but when wert thou anointed?” + +William was so zealous in storing up these verities that he looked as +though he were unconscious that the pouring-out was over. He started, +which he had not done before, at the voice of Master Silas; but soon +recovered his complacency, and smiled with much serenity at being called +low-minded varlet. + +“Low-minded varlet!” cried Master Silas, most contemptuously, “dost thou +imagine that king calleth king, like thy chums, _filcher_ and _fibber_, +_whirligig_ and _nincompoop_? Instead of this low vulgarity and sordid +idleness, ending in nothing, they throw at one another such fellows as +thee by the thousand, and when they have cleared the land, render God +thanks and make peace.” + +Willy did now sigh out his ignorance of these matters; and he sighed, +mayhap, too, at the recollection of the peril he had run into, and had +ne’er a word on the nail. {70a} + +The bowels of Sir Thomas waxed tenderer and tenderer; and he opened his +lips in this fashion:— + +“Stripling! I would now communicate unto thee, on finding thee docile +and assentaneous, the instruction thou needest on the signification of +the words _natural cause_, if thy duty toward thy neighbour had been +first instilled into thee.” + +Whereupon Master Silas did interpose, for the dinner hour was drawing +nigh. + +“We cannot do all at once,” quoth he. “Coming out of order, it might +harm him. Malt before hops, the world over, or the beer muddies.” + +But Sir Thomas was not to be pricked out of his form even by so shrewd a +pricker; and like unto one who heareth not, he continued to look most +graciously on the homely vessel that stood ready to receive his wisdom. + +“Thy mind,” said he, “being unprepared for higher cogitations, and the +groundwork and religious duty not being well rammer-beaten and flinted, I +do pass over this supererogatory point, and inform thee rather, that +bucks and swans and herons have something in their very names announcing +them of knightly appurtenance; and (God forfend that evil do ensue +therefrom!) that a goose on the common, or a game-cock on the loft of a +cottager or villager, may be seized, bagged, and abducted, with far less +offence to the laws. In a buck there is something so gainly and so +grand, he treadeth the earth with such ease and such agility, he +abstaineth from all other animals with such punctilious avoidance, one +would imagine God created him when he created knighthood. In the swan +there is such purity, such coldness is there in the element he +inhabiteth, such solitude of station, that verily he doth remind me of +the Virgin Queen herself. Of the heron I have less to say, not having +him about me; but I never heard his lordly croak without the conceit that +it resembled a chancellor’s or a primate’s. + +“I do perceive, William Shakspeare, thy compunction and contrition.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I was thinking, may it please your worship, of the game-cock and the +goose, having but small notion of herons. This doctrine of abduction, +please your worship, hath been alway inculcated by the soundest of our +judges. Would they had spoken on other points with the same clearness. +How many unfortunates might thereby have been saved from crossing the +Cordilleras!” {72a} + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay, ay! they have been fain to fly the country at last, thither or +elsewhere.” + +And then did Sir Thomas call unto him Master Silas, and say,— + +“Walk we into the bay-window. And thou mayest come, Ephraim.” + +And when we were there together, I, Master Silas, and his worship, did +his worship say unto the chaplain, but oftener looking toward me,— + +“I am not ashamed to avouch that it goeth against me to hang this young +fellow, richly as the offence in its own nature doth deserve it, he +talketh so reasonably; not indeed so reasonably, but so like unto what a +reasonable man may listen to and reflect on. There is so much, too, of +compassion for others in hard cases, and something so very near in +semblance to innocence itself in that airy swing of lightheartedness +about him. I cannot fix my eyes (as one would say) on the shifting and +sudden _shade-and-shine_, which cometh back to me, do what I will, and +mazes me in a manner, and blinks me.” + +At this juncture I was ready to fall upon the ground before his worship, +and clasp his knees for Willy’s pardon. But he had so many points about +him, that I feared to discompose ’em, and thus make bad worse. Besides +which, Master Silas left me but scanty space for good resolutions, +crying,— + +“He may be committed, to save time. Afterward he may be sentenced to +death, or he may not.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“’T were shame upon me were he not; ’t were indication that I acted +unadvisedly in the commitment.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“The penalty of the law may be commuted, if expedient, on application to +the fountain of mercy in London.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Maybe, Silas, those shall be standing round the fount of mercy who play +in idleness and wantonness with its waters, and let them not flow widely, +nor take their natural course. Dutiful gallants may encompass it, and it +may linger among the flowers they throw into it, and never reach the +parched lip on the wayside. + +“These are homely thoughts—thoughts from a-field, thoughts for the study +and housekeeper’s room. But whenever I have given utterance unto them, +as my heart hath often prompted me with beatings at the breast, my +hearers seemed to bear toward me more true and kindly affection than my +richest fancies and choicest phraseologies could purchase. + +“’T were convenient to bethink thee, should any other great man’s park +have been robbed this season, no judge upon the bench will back my +recommendation for mercy. And, indeed, how could I expect it? Things +may soon be brought to such a pass that their lordships shall scarcely +find three haunches each upon the circuit.” + +“Well, Sir!” quoth Master Silas, “you have a right to go on in your own +way. Make him only give up the girl.” + +Here Sir Thomas reddened with righteous indignation, and answered,— + +“I cannot think it! such a stripling! poor, penniless; it must be some +one else.” And now Master Silas did redden in his turn, redder than Sir +Thomas, and first asked me,— + +“What the devil do you stare at?” And then asked his worship,— + +“Who should it be if not the rogue?” and his lips turned as blue as a +blue-bell. Then Sir Thomas left the window, and again took his chair, +and having stood so long on his legs, groaned upon it to ease him. His +worship scowled with all his might, and looked exceedingly wroth and +vengeful at the culprit, and said unto him,— + +“Harkye, knave! I have been conferring with my learned clerk and +chaplain in what manner I may, with the least severity, rid the county +(which thou disgracest) of thee.” + +William Shakspeare raised up his eyes, modestly and fearfully, and said +slowly these few words, which, had they been a better and nobler man’s, +would deserve to be written in letters of gold. I, not having that art +nor substance, do therefore write them in my largest and roundest +character, and do leave space about ’em, according to their rank and +dignity:— + +“Worshipful sir!” + +“A WORD IN THE EAR IS OFTEN AS GOOD AS A HALTER UNDER IT, AND SAVES THE +GROAT.” + +“Thou discoursest well,” said Sir Thomas, “but others can discourse well +likewise. Thou shalt avoid; I am resolute.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I supplicate your honour to impart unto me, in your wisdom, the mode and +means whereby I may surcease to be disgraceful to the county.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I am not bloody-minded. + +“First, thou shalt have the fairest and fullest examination. Much hath +been deposed against thee; something may come forth for thy advantage. I +will not thy death; thou shalt not die. + +“The laws have loopholes, like castles, both to shoot from and to let +folks down.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“That pointed ear would look the better for paring, and that high +forehead can hold many letters.” + +Whereupon did William, poor lad! turn deadly pale, but spake not. + +Sir Thomas then abated a whit of his severity, and said, staidly,— + +“Testimony doth appear plain and positive against thee; nevertheless am I +minded and prompted to aid thee myself, in disclosing and unfolding what +thou couldst not of thine own wits, in furtherance of thine own defence. + +“One witness is persuaded and assured of the evil spirit having been +abroad, and the punt appeared unto him diversely from what it appeared +unto the other.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“If the evil spirit produced one appearance, he might have produced all, +with deference to the graver judgment of your worship. + +“If what seemed _punt_ was _devil_, what seemed _buck_ might have been +_devil_ too; nay, more easily, the horns being forthcoming. + +“Thieves and reprobates do resemble him more nearly still; and it would +be hard if he could not make free with their bodies, when he has their +souls already.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“But, then, those voices! and thou thyself, Will Shakspeare!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“O might I kiss the hand of my deliverer, whose clear-sightedness +throweth such manifest and plenary light upon my innocence!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“How so? What light, in God’s name, have I thrown upon it as yet?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Oh! those voices! those faeries and spirits! whence came they? None can +deal with ’em but the devil, the parson, and witches. And does not the +devil oftentimes take the very form, features, and habiliments of +knights, and bishops, and other good men, to lead them into temptation +and destroy them? or to injure their good name, in failure of seduction? + +“He is sure of the wicked; he lets them go their ways out of hand. + +“I think your worship once delivered some such observation, in more +courtly guise, which I would not presume to ape. If it was not your +worship, it was our glorious lady the queen, or the wise Master +Walsingham, or the great Lord Cecil. I may have marred and broken it, as +sluts do a pancake, in the turning.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Why! ay, indeed, I had occasion once to remark as much.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“So have I heard in many places; although I was not present when Matthew +Atterend fought about it for the honour of Kineton hundred.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Fought about it!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“As your honour recollects. Not but on other occasions he would have +fought no less bravely for the queen.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“We must get thee through, were it only for thy memory,—the most precious +gift among the mental powers that Providence hath bestowed upon us. I +had half forgotten the thing myself. Thou mayest, in time, take thy +satchel for London, and aid good old Master Holingshed. + +“We must clear thee, Will! I am slow to surmise that there is blood upon +thy hands!” + +His worship’s choler had all gone down again; and he sat as cool and +comfortable as a man sitteth to be shaved. Then called he on Euseby +Treen, and said,— + +“Euseby Treen! tell us whether thou observedst anything unnoticed or +unsaid by the last witness.” + + EUSEBY TREEN. + +“One thing only, sir! + +“When they had passed the water an owlet hooted after them; and +methought, if they had any fear of God before their eyes they would have +turned back, he cried so lustily.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, I cannot forbear to take the owlet out of your mouth. He knocks +them all on the head like so many mice. Likely story! One fellow hears +him cry lustily, the other doth not hear him at all!” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“Not hear him! A body might have heard him at Barford or Sherbourne.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Why didst not name him? Canst not answer me?” + + JOSEPH CARNABY. + +“_He_ doubted whether punt were punt; I doubted whether owlet were owlet, +after Lucifer was away from the roll-call. + +“We say, _Speak the truth and shame the devil_; but shaming him is one +thing, your honour, and facing him another! I have heard owlets, but +never owlet like him.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The Lord be praised! All, at last, a-running to my rescue. + +“Owlet, indeed! Your worship may have remembered in an ancient +book—indeed, what book is so ancient that your worship doth not remember +it?—a book printed by Doctor Faustus—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Before he dealt with the devil?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Not long before, it being the very book that made the devil think it +worth his while to deal with him.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What chapter thereof wouldst thou recall unto my recollection?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“That concerning owls, with the grim print afore it. + +“Doctor Faustus, the wise doctor, who knew other than owls and owlets, +knew the tempter in that form. Faustus was not your man for fancies and +figments; and he tells us that, to his certain knowledge, it was verily +an owl’s face that whispered so much mischief in the ear of our first +parent. + +“One plainly sees it, quoth Doctor Faustus, under that gravity which in +human life we call dignity, but of which we read nothing in the Gospel. +We despise the hangman, we detest the hanged; and yet, saith Duns Scotus, +could we turn aside the heavy curtain, or stand high enough a-tiptoe to +peep through its chinks and crevices, we should perhaps find these two +characters to stand justly among the most innocent in the drama. He who +blinketh the eyes of the poor wretch about to die doeth it out of mercy; +those who preceded him, bidding him in the garb of justice to shed the +blood of his fellow-man, had less or none. So they hedge well their own +grounds, what care they? For this do they catch at stakes and thorns, at +quick and rotten—” + +Here Master Silas interrupted the discourse of the devil’s own doctor, +delivered and printed by him before he was the devil’s, to which his +worship had listened very attentively and delightedly. But Master Silas +could keep his temper no longer, and cried, fiercely, “Seditious +sermonizer! hold thy peace, or thou shalt answer for ’t before +convocation.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas! thou dost not approve, then, the doctrine of this Doctor Duns?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Heretical Rabbi!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“_If two of a trade can never agree_, yet surely two of a name may.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Who dares call me heretical? who dares call me rabbi? who dares call me +Scotus? Spider! spider! yea, thou hast one corner left; I espy thee, and +my broom shall reach thee yet.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I perceive that Master Silas doth verily believe I have been guilty of +suborning the witnesses, at least the last, the best man (if any +difference) of the two. No, sir, no. If my family and friends have +united their wits and money for this purpose, be the crime of perverted +justice on their heads! They injure whom they intended to serve. +Improvident men!—if the young may speak thus of the elderly; could they +imagine to themselves that your worship was to be hoodwinked and led +astray?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“No man shall ever dare to hoodwink me, to lead me astray,—no, nor lead +me anywise. Powerful defence! Heyday! Sit quiet, Master Treen!—Euseby +Treen! dost hear me? Clench thy fist again, sirrah! and I clap thee in +the stocks. + +“Joseph Carnaby! do not scratch thy breast nor thy pate before me.” + +Now Joseph had not only done that in his wrath, but had unbuckled his +leathern garter, fit instrument for strife and blood, and peradventure +would have smitten, had not the knight, with magisterial authority, +interposed. + +His worship said unto him, gravely,— + +“Joseph Carnaby! Joseph Carnaby! hast thou never read the words ‘_Put up +thy sword_’?” + +“Subornation! your worship!” cried Master Joe. “The fellow hath ne’er a +shilling in leather or till, and many must go to suborn one like me.” + +“I do believe it of thee,” said Sir Thomas; “but patience, man! patience! +he rather tended toward exculpating thee. Ye have far to walk for +dinner; ye may depart.” + +They went accordingly. + +Then did Sir Thomas say, “These are hot men, Silas!” + +And Master Silas did reply unto him,— + +“There are brands that would set fire to the bulrushes in the mill-pool. +I know these twain for quiet folks, having coursed with them over +Wincott.” + +Sir Thomas then said unto William, “It behooveth thee to stand clear of +yon Joseph, unless when thou mayest call to thy aid the Matthew Atterend +thou speakest of. He did then fight valiantly, eh?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“His cause fought valiantly; his fist but seconded it. He won,—proving +the golden words to be no property of our lady’s, although her Highness +hath never disclaimed them.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What art thou saying?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“So I heard from a preacher at Oxford, who had preached at Easter in the +chapel-royal of Westminster.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou! why, how could that happen? Oxford! chapel-royal!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“And to whom I said (your worship will forgive my forwardness), ‘_I have +the honour_, _sir_, _to live within two measured miles of the very Sir +Thomas Lucy who spake that_.’ And I vow I said it without any hope or +belief that he would invite me, as he did, to dine with him thereupon.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“There be nigh upon three miles betwixt this house and Stratford +bridge-end.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I dropt a mile in my pride and exultation, God forgive me! I would not +conceal my fault.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Wonderful! that a preacher so learned as to preach before majesty in the +chapel-royal should not have caught thee tripping over a whole lawful +mile,—a good third of the distance between my house and the cross-roads. +This is incomprehensible in a scholar.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“God willed that he should become my teacher, and in the bowels of his +mercy hid my shame.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“How camest thou into the converse of such eminent and ghostly men?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“How, indeed?—everything against me!” + +He sighed, and entered into a long discourse, which Master Silas would at +sundry times have interrupted, but that Sir Thomas more than once frowned +upon him, even as he had frowned heretofore on young Will, who thus began +and continued his narration:— + +“Hearing the preacher preach at Saint Mary’s (for being about my father’s +business on Saturday, and not choosing to be a-horseback on Sundays, +albeit time-pressed, I footed it to Oxford for my edification on the +Lord’s day, leaving the sorrel with Master Hal Webster of the _Tankard +and Unicorn_)—hearing him preach, as I was saying, before the University +in St. Mary’s Church, and hearing him use moreover the very words that +Matthew fought about, I was impatient (God forgive me!) for the end and +consummation, and I thought I never should hear those precious words that +ease every man’s heart, ‘_Now to conclude_.’ However, come they did. I +hurried out among the foremost, and thought the congratulations of the +other doctors and dons would last for ever. He walked sharply off, and +few cared to keep his pace,—for they are lusty men mostly; and spiteful +bad women had breathed {89a} in the faces of some among them, or the +gowns had got between their legs. For my part, I was not to be balked; +so, tripping on aside him, I looked in his face askance. Whether he +misgave or how, he turned his eyes downward. No matter—have him I would. +I licked my lips and smacked them loud and smart, and scarcely venturing +to nod, I gave my head such a sort of motion as dace and roach give an +angler’s quill when they begin to bite. And this fairly hooked him.” + +“‘Young gentleman!’ said he, ‘where is your gown?’ + +“‘Reverend sir!’ said I, ‘I am unworthy to wear one.’ + +“‘A proper youth, nevertheless, and mightily well-spoken!’ he was pleased +to say. + +“‘Your reverence hath given me heart, which failed me,’ was my reply. +‘Ah! your reverence! those words about the devil were spicy words; but, +under favour, I do know the brook-side they sprang and flowered by. ’T +is just where it runs into Avon; ’t is called Hogbrook.’ + +“‘Right!’ quoth he, putting his hand gently on my shoulder; ‘but if I had +thought it needful to say so in my sermon, I should have affronted the +seniors of the University, since many claim them, and some peradventure +would fain transpose them into higher places, and giving up all right and +title to them, would accept in lieu thereof the poor recompense of a +mitre.’ + +“I wished (unworthy wish for a Sunday!) I had Matthew Atterend in the +midst of them. He would have given them skulls mitre-fashioned, if +mitres are cloven now as we see them on ancient monuments. Matt is your +milliner for gentles, who think no more harm of purloining rich saws in a +mitre than lane-born boys do of embezzling hazel-nuts in a woollen cap. +I did not venture to expound or suggest my thoughts, but feeling my +choler rise higher and higher, I craved permission to make my obeisance +and depart. + +“‘Where dost thou lodge, young man?’ said the preacher. + +“‘At the public,’ said I, ‘where my father customarily lodgeth. There, +too, is a mitre of the old fashion, swinging on the sign-post in the +middle of the street.’ + +“‘Respectable tavern enough!’ quoth the reverend doctor; ‘and worthy men +do turn in there, even quality,—Master Davenant, Master Powel, Master +Whorwood, aged and grave men. But taverns are Satan’s chapels, and are +always well attended on the Lord’s day, to twit him. Hast thou no friend +in such a city as Oxford?’ + +“‘Only the landlady of the Mitre,’ said I. + +“‘A comely woman,’ quoth he, ‘but too young for business by half. + +“‘Stay thou with me to-day, and fare frugally, but safely. + +“‘What may thy name be, and where is thy abode?’ + +“‘William Shakspeare, of Stratford-upon-Avon, at your service, sir.’ + +“‘And welcome,’ said he; ‘thy father ere now hath bought our college +wool. A truly good man we ever found him; and I doubt not he hath +educated his son to follow him in his paths. There is in the blood of +man, as in the blood of animals, that which giveth the temper and +disposition. These require nurture and culture. But what nurture will +turn flint-stones into garden mould? or what culture rear cabbages in the +quarries of Hedington Hill? To be well born is the greatest of all God’s +primary blessings, young man, and there are many well born among the poor +and needy. Thou art not of the indigent and destitute, who have great +temptations; thou art not of the wealthy and affluent, who have greater +still. God hath placed thee, William Shakspeare, in that pleasant +island, on one side whereof are the sirens, on the other the harpies, but +inhabiting the coasts on the wider continent, and unable to make their +talons felt, or their voices heard by thee. Unite with me in prayer and +thanksgiving for the blessings thus vouchsafed. We must not close the +heart when the finger of God would touch it. Enough, if thou sayest +only, _My soul_, _praise thou the Lord_!’” + +Sir Thomas said, “_Amen_!” Master Silas was mute for the moment, but +then quoth he, “I can say amen too in the proper place.” + +The knight of Charlecote, who appeared to have been much taken with this +conversation, then interrogated Willy:— + +“What farther might have been thy discourse with the doctor? or did he +discourse at all at trencher-time? Thou must have been very much abashed +to sit down at table with one who weareth a pure lambskin across his +shoulder, and moreover a pink hood.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Faith! was I, your honour! and could neither utter nor gulp.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“These are good signs. Thou hast not lost all grace.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“With the encouragement of Dr. Glaston—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And was it Dr. Glaston?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Said I not so?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“The learnedst clerk in Christendom! a very Friar Bacon! The Pope +offered a hundred marks in Latin to who should eviscerate or evirate +him,—poisons very potent, whereat the Italians are handy,—so apostolic +and desperate a doctor is Doctor Glaston! so acute in his quiddities, and +so resolute in his bearing! He knows the dark arts, but stands aloof +from them. Prithee, what were his words unto thee?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Manna, sir, manna! pure from the desert!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay, but what spake he? for most sermons are that, and likewise many +conversations after dinner.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He spake of the various races and qualities of men, as before stated; +but chiefly on the elect and reprobate, and how to distinguish and know +them.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Did he go so far?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He told me that by such discussion he should say enough to keep me +constantly out of evil company.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“See there! see there! and yet thou art come before me!—Can nothing warn +thee?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I dare not dissemble, nor feign, nor hold aught back, although it be to +my confusion. As well may I speak at once the whole truth for your +worship could find it out if I abstained.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay, that I should indeed, and shortly. But, come now, I am sated of thy +follies and roguish tricks, and yearn after the sound doctrine of that +pious man. What expounded the grave Glaston upon signs and tokens +whereby ye shall be known?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Wonderful things! things beyond belief! ‘There be certain men,’ quoth +he—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“He began well. This promises. But why canst not thou go on?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘There be certain men, who, rubbing one corner of the eye, do see a +peacock’s feather at the other, and even fire. We know, William, what +that fire is, and whence it cometh. Those wicked men, William, all have +their marks upon them, be it only a corn, or a wart, or a mole, or a +hairy ear, or a toe-nail turned inward. Sufficient, and more than +sufficient! He knoweth his own by less tokens. There is not one of them +that doth not sweat at some secret sin committed, or some inclination +toward it unsnaffled. + +“‘Certain men are there, likewise, who venerate so little the glorious +works of the Creator that I myself have known them to sneeze at the sun! +Sometimes it was against their will, and they would gladly have checked +it had they been able; but they were forced to shew what they are. In +our carnal state we say, _What is one against numbers_? In another we +shall truly say, _What are numbers against one_?’” + +Sir Thomas did ejaculate, “_Amen_! _Amen_!” And then his lips moved +silently, piously, and quickly; and then said he, audibly and loudly,— + +“_And make us at last true Israelites_!” + +After which he turned to young Willy, and said, anxiously,— + +“Hast thou more, lad? give us it while the Lord strengtheneth.” + +“Sir,” answered Willy, “although I thought it no trouble, on my return to +the _Mitre_, to write down every word I could remember, and although few +did then escape me, yet at this present I can bring to mind but scanty +sentences, and those so stray and out of order that they would only prove +my incapacity for sterling wisdom, and my incontinence of spiritual +treasure.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Even that sentence hath a twang of the doctor in it. Nothing is so +sweet as humility. The mountains may descend, but the valleys cannot +rise. Every man should know himself. Come, repeat what thou canst. I +would fain have three or four more heads.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I know not whether I can give your worship more than one other. Let me +try. It was when Doctor Glaston was discoursing on the protection the +wise and powerful should afford to the ignorant and weak:— + +“‘In the earlier ages of mankind, your Greek and Latin authors inform +you, there went forth sundry worthies, men of might, to deliver, not +wandering damsels, albeit for those likewise they had stowage, but +low-conditioned men, who fell under the displeasure of the higher, and +groaned in thraldom and captivity. And these mighty ones were believed +to have done such services to poor humanity that their memory grew +greater than they, as shadows do than substances at day-fall. And the +sons and grandsons of the delivered did laud and magnify those glorious +names; and some in gratitude, and some in tribulation, did ascend the +hills, which appeared unto them as altars bestrown with flowers and +herbage for heaven’s acceptance. And many did go far into the quiet +groves, under lofty trees, looking for whatever was mightiest and most +protecting. And in such places did they cry aloud unto the mighty who +had left them, “_Return_! _return_! _help us_! _help us_! _be blessed_! +_for ever blessed_!” + +“‘Vain men! but had they stayed there, not evil. Out of gratitude, +purest gratitude, rose idolatry. For the devil sees the fairest, and +soils it. + +“‘In these our days, methinks, whatever other sins we may fall into, such +idolatry is the least dangerous. For neither on the one side is there +much disposition for gratitude, nor on the other much zeal to deliver the +innocent and oppressed. Even this deliverance, although a merit, and a +high one, is not the highest. Forgiveness is beyond it. Forgive, or ye +shall not be forgiven. This ye may do every day; for if ye find not +offences, ye feign them; and surely ye may remove your own work, if ye +may re-remove another’s. To rescue requires more thought and wariness; +learn, then, the easier lesson first. Afterward, when ye rescue any from +another’s violence, or from his own (which oftentimes is more dangerous, +as the enemies are within not only the penetrals of his house but of his +heart), bind up his wounds before ye send him on his way. Should ye at +any time overtake the erring, and resolve to deliver him up, I will tell +you whither to conduct him. Conduct him to his Lord and Master, whose +household he hath left. It is better to consign him to Christ his +Saviour than to man his murderer; it is better to bid him live than to +bid him die. The one word our Teacher and Preserver said, the other our +enemy and destroyer. Bring him back again, the stray, the lost one bring +him back, not with clubs and cudgels, not with halberts and halters, but +generously and gently, and with the linking of the arm. In this posture +shall God above smile upon ye; in this posture of yours he shall +recognize again his beloved Son upon earth. Do ye likewise, and depart +in peace.’” + +William had ended, and there was silence in the hall for some time after, +when Sir Thomas said,— + +“He spake unto somewhat mean persons, who may do it without +disparagement. I look for authority, I look for doctrine, and find none +yet. If he could not have drawn us out a thread or two from the coat of +an apostle, he might have given us a smack of Augustin, or a sprig of +Basil. Our older sermons are headier than these, Master Silas! our new +beer is the sweeter and clammier, and wants more spice. The doctor hath +seasoned his with pretty wit enough, to do him justice, which in a sermon +is never out of place; for if there be the bane, there likewise is the +antidote. + +“What dost thou think about it, Master Silas?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I would not give ten farthings for ten folios of such sermons.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“These words, Master Silas, will oftener be quoted than any others of +thine; but rarely (do I suspect) as applicable to Doctor Glaston. I must +stick unto his gown. I must declare that, to my poor knowledge, many +have been raised to the bench of bishops for less wisdom and worse than +is contained in the few sentences I have been commanded by authority to +recite. No disparagement to any body I know, Master Silas, and +multitudes bear witness, that thou above most art a dead hand at a +sermon.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Touch my sermons, wilt dare?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Nay, Master Silas, be not angered; it is courage enough to hear them.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Now, Silas, hold thy peace and rest contented. He hath excused himself +unto thee, throwing in a compliment far above his station, and not +unworthy of Rome or Florence. I did not think him so ready. Our +Warwickshire lads are fitter for football than courtesies; and, sooth to +say, not only the inferior.” + +His worship turned from Master Silas toward William, and said, “Brave +Willy, thou hast given us our bitters; we are ready now for any thing +solid. What hast left?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Little or nothing, sir.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Well, give us that little or nothing.” + +William Shakspeare was obedient to the commands of Sir Thomas, who had +spoken thus kindly unto him, and had deigned to cast at him from his +_lordly dish_ (as the Psalmist hath it) a fragment of facetiousness. + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Alas, sir! may I repeat it without offence, it not being doctrine but +admonition, and meant for me only?” + +“Speak it the rather for that,” quoth Sir Thomas. + +Then did William give utterance to the words of the preacher, not indeed +in his sermon at St. Mary’s, but after dinner. + +“‘Lust seizeth us in youth, ambition in midlife, avarice in old age; but +vanity and pride are the besetting sins that drive the angels from our +cradle, pamper us with luscious and most unwholesome food, ride our first +stick with us, mount our first horse with us, wake with us in the +morning, dream with us in the night, and never at any time abandon us. +In this world, beginning with pride and vanity, we are delivered over +from tormentor to tormentor, until the worst tormentor of all taketh +absolute possession of us for ever, seizing us at the mouth of the grave, +enchaining us in his own dark dungeon, standing at the door, and laughing +at our cries. But the Lord, out of his infinite mercy, hath placed in +the hand of every man the helm to steer his course by, pointing it out +with his finger, and giving him strength as well as knowledge to pursue +it. + +“‘William! William! there is in the moral straits a current from right to +wrong, but no re-flux from wrong to right; for which destination we must +hoist our sails aloft and ply our oars incessantly, or night and the +tempest will overtake us, and we shall shriek out in vain from the +billows, and irrecoverably sink.’” + +“Amen!” cried Sir Thomas most devoutly, sustaining his voice long and +loud. + +“Open that casement, good Silas! the day is sultry for the season of the +year; it approacheth unto noontide. The room is close, and those blue +flies do make a strange hubbub.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“In troth do they, sir; they come from the kitchen, and do savour +woundily of roast goose! And, methinks—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What bethinkest thou?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The fancy of a moment,—a light and vain one.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou relievest me; speak it!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“How could the creatures cast their coarse rank odour thus far?—even into +your presence! A noble and spacious hall! Charlecote, in my mind, beats +Warwick Castle, and challenges Kenilworth.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“The hall is well enough; I must say it is a noble hall,—a hall for a +queen to sit down in. And I stuffed an arm-chair with horse-hair on +purpose, feathers over it, swan-down over them again, and covered it with +scarlet cloth of Bruges, five crowns the short ell. But her highness +came not hither; she was taken short; she had a tongue in her ear.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Where all is spring, all is buzz and murmur.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Quaint and solid as the best yew hedge. I marvel at thee. A knight +might have spoken it, under favour. They stopped her at Warwick—to see +what? two old towers that don’t match, {105a} and a portcullis that +(people say) opens only upon fast-days. Charlecote Hall, I could have +told her sweet Highness, was built by those Lucys who came over with +Julius Cæsar and William the Conqueror, with cross and scallop-shell on +breast and beaver.” + +“But, _honest Willy_!?—” + +Such were the very words; I wrote them down with two signs in the +margent,—one a mark of admiration, as thus (!), the other of +interrogation (so we call it) as thus (?). + +“But, honest Willy, I would fain hear more,” quoth he, “about the learned +Doctor Glaston. He seemeth to be a man after God’s own heart.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Ay is he! Never doth he sit down to dinner but he readeth first a +chapter of the Revelation; and if he tasteth a pound of butter at Carfax, +he saith a grace long enough to bring an appetite for a baked bull’s +{106a} —zle. If this be not after God’s own heart, I know not what is.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I would fain confer with him, but that Oxford lieth afar off,—a matter +of thirty miles, I hear. I might, indeed, write unto him; but our +Warwickshire pens are mighty broad-nibbed, and there is a something in +this plaguy ink of ours sadly ropy—” + +“I fear there is,” quoth Willy. + +“And I should scorn,” continued his worship, “to write otherwise than in +a fine Italian character to the master of a college, near in dignity to +knighthood.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Worshipful sir! is there no other way of communicating but by person, or +writing, or messages?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I will consider and devise. At present I can think of none so +satisfactory.” + +And now did the great clock over the gateway strike. And Bill Shakspeare +did move his lips, even as Sir Thomas had moved his erewhile in +ejaculating. And when he had wagged them twice or thrice after the +twelve strokes of the clock were over, again he ejaculated with voice +also, saying,— + +“Mercy upon us! how the day wears! Twelve strokes! Might I retire, +please your worship, into the chapel for about three quarters of an hour, +and perform the service {108a} as ordained?” + +Before Sir Thomas could give him leave or answer, did Sir Silas cry +aloud,— + +“He would purloin the chalice, worth forty-eight shillings, and melt it +down in the twinkling of an eye, he is so crafty.” + +But the knight was more reasonable, and said, reprovingly,— + +“There now, Silas! thou talkest widely, and verily in malice, if there be +any in thee.” + +“Try him,” answered Master Silas; “I don’t kneel where he does. Could he +have but his wicked will of me he would chop my legs off, as he did the +poor buck’s.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“No, no, no; he hath neither guile nor revenge in him. We may let him +have his way, now that he hath taken the right one.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Popery! sheer popery! strong as harts-horn! Your papists keep these +outlandish hours for their masses and mummery. Surely we might let God +alone at twelve o’clock! Have we no bowels?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Gracious sir! I do not urge it; and the time is now past by some +minutes.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Art thou popishly inclined, William?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, I am not popishly inclined; I am not inclined to pay tribute of +coin or understanding to those who rush forward with a pistol at my +breast, crying, ‘_Stand_, _or you are a dead man_.’ I have but one guide +in faith,—a powerful, an almighty one. He will not suffer to waste away +and vanish the faith for which he died. He hath chosen in all countries +pure hearts for its depositaries; and I would rather take it from a +friend and neighbour, intelligent and righteous, and rejecting lucre, +than from some foreigner educated in the pride of cities or in the +moroseness of monasteries, who sells me what Christ gave me,—his own +flesh and blood. + +“I can repeat by heart what I read above a year agone, albeit I cannot +bring to mind the title of the book in which I read it. These are the +words,— + +“‘The most venal and sordid of all the superstitions that have swept and +darkened our globe may, indeed, like African locusts, have consumed the +green corn in very extensive regions, and may return periodically to +consume it; but the strong, unwearied labourer who sowed it hath alway +sown it in other places less exposed to such devouring pestilences. +Those cunning men who formed to themselves the gorgeous plan of universal +dominion were aware that they had a better chance of establishing it than +brute ignorance or brute force could supply, and that soldiers and their +paymasters were subject to other and powerfuller fears than the +transitory ones of war and invasion. What they found in heaven they +seized; what they wanted they forged. + +“‘And so long as there is vice and ignorance in the world, so long as +fear is a passion, their dominion will prevail; but their dominion is +not, and never shall be, universal. Can we wonder that it is so general? +Can we wonder that anything is wanting to give it authority and effect, +when every learned, every prudent, every powerful, every ambitious man in +Europe, for above a thousand years, united in the league to consolidate +it? + +“‘The old dealers in the shambles, where Christ’s body is exposed for +sale in convenient marketable slices, {111a} have not covered with blood +and filth the whole pavement. Beautiful usages are remaining +still,—kindly affections, radiant hopes, and ardent aspirations! + +“‘It is a comfortable thing to reflect, as they do, and as we may do +unblamably, that we are uplifting to our Guide and Maker the same incense +of the heart, and are uttering the very words, which our dearest friends +in all quarters of the earth, nay in heaven itself, are offering to the +throne of grace at the same moment. + +“‘Thus are we together through the immensity of space. What are these +bodies? Do they unite us? No; they keep us apart and asunder even while +we touch. Realms and oceans, worlds and ages, open before two spirits +bent on heaven. What a choir surrounds us when we resolve to live +unitedly and harmoniously in Christian faith!’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Now, Silas, what sayest thou?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Ignorant fool!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Ignorant fools are bearable, Master Silas! your wise ones are the +worst.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Prithee no bandying of loggerheads.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + + “Or else what mortal man shall say + Whose shins may suffer in the fray?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou reasonest aptly and timest well. And surely, being now in so +rational and religious a frame of mind, thou couldst recall to memory a +section or head or two of the sermon holden at St. Mary’s. It would do +thee and us as much good as _Lighten our darkness_, or _Forasmuch as it +hath pleased_; and somewhat less than three quarters of an hour (maybe +less than one quarter) sufficeth.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Or he hangs without me. I am for dinner in half the time.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas! Silas! he hangeth not with thee or without thee.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“He thinketh himself a clever fellow; but he (look ye) is the cleverest +that gets off.” + +“I hold quite the contrary,” quoth Will Shakspeare, winking at Master +Silas from the comfort and encouragement he had just received touching +the hanging. + +And Master Silas had his answer ready, and shewed that he was more than a +match for poor Willy in wit and poetry. + +He answered thus:— + + “If winks are wit, + Who wanteth it? + +Thou hadst other bolts to kill bucks withal. In wit, sirrah, thou art a +mere child.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Little dogs are jealous of children, great ones fondle them.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“An that were written in the Apocrypha, in the very teeth of Bel and the +Dragon, it could not be truer. I have witnessed it with my own eyes over +and over.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“He will take this for wit, likewise, now the arms of Lucy do seal it.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas, they may stamp wit, they may further wit, they may send wit into +good company, but not make it.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Behold my wall of defence!” + + SIR SILAS. + +“An thou art for walls, I have one for thee from Oxford, pithy and +apposite, sound and solid, and trimmed up becomingly, as a collar of +brawn with a crown of rosemary, or a boar’s head with a lemon in the +mouth.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Egad, Master Silas, those are your walls for lads to climb over, an they +were higher than Babel’s.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Have at thee!” + + “Thou art a wall + To make the ball + Rebound from. + + “Thou hast a back + For beadle’s crack + To sound from, to sound from. + +The foolishest dolts are the ground-plot of the most wit, as the idlest +rogues are of the most industry. Even thou hast brought wit down from +Oxford. And before a thief is hanged, parliament must make laws, +attorneys must engross them, printers stamp and publish them, hawkers cry +them, judges expound them, juries weigh and measure them with offences, +then executioners carry them into effect. The farmer hath already sown +the hemp, the ropemaker hath twisted it; sawyers saw the timber, +carpenters tack together the shell, grave-diggers delve the earth. And +all this truly for fellows like unto thee.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Whom a God came down from heaven to save.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas! he hangeth not. William, I must have the heads of the sermon, +six or seven of ’em; thou hast whetted my appetite keenly. How! dost +duck thy pate into thy hat? nay, nay, that is proper and becoming at +church; we need not such solemnity. Repeat unto us the setting forth at +St. Mary’s.” + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare entreat of Master Silas that he would +help him in his ghostly endeavours, by repeating what he called the +_preliminary_ prayer; which prayer I find nowhere in our ritual, and do +suppose it to be one of those Latin supplications used in our learned +universities now or erewhile. + +I am afeard it hath not the approbation of the strictly orthodox, for +inasmuch as Master Silas at such entreaty did close his teeth against it, +and with teeth thus closed did say, Athanasiuswise, “Go and be damned!” + +Bill was not disheartened, but said he hoped better, and began thus:— + +“‘My brethren!’ said the preacher, ‘or rather let me call you my +children, such is my age confronted with yours, for the most part,—my +children, then, and my brethren (for here are both), believe me, killing +is forbidden.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“This, not being delivered unto us from the pulpit by the preacher +himself, we may look into. Sensible man! shrewd reasoner! What a stroke +against deer-stealers! how full of truth and ruth! Excellent discourse!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The last part was the best.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I always find it so. The softest of the cheesecake is left in the +platter when the crust is eaten. He kept the best bit for the last, +then? He pushed it under the salt, eh? He told thee—” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Exactly so.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What was it?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘Ye shall not kill.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“How I did he run in a circle like a hare? One of his mettle should +break cover and off across the country like a fox or hart.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘And yet ye kill time when ye can, and are uneasy when ye cannot.’” + +Whereupon did Sir Thomas say, aside unto himself, but within my hearing,— + +“Faith and troth! he must have had a head in at the window here one day +or other.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘This sin cryeth unto the Lord.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“He was wrong there. It is not one of those that cry; mortal sins cry. +Surely he could not have fallen into such an error! it must be thine; +thou misunderstoodest him.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Mayhap, sir! A great heaviness came over me; I was oppressed in spirit, +and did feel as one awakening from a dream.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Godlier men than thou art do often feel the right hand of the Lord upon +their heads in like manner. It followeth contrition, and precedeth +conversion. Continue.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘My brethren and children,’ said the teacher, ‘whenever ye want to kill +time call God to the chase, and bid the angels blow the horn; and thus ye +are sure to kill time to your heart’s content. And ye may feast another +day, and another after that—’” + +Then said Master Silas unto me, concernedly, + +“This is the mischief-fullest of all the devil’s imps, to talk in such +wise at a quarter past twelve!” + +But William went straight on, not hearing him, + +“‘—upon what ye shall, in such pursuit, have brought home with you. +Whereas, if ye go alone, or two or three together, nay, even if ye go in +thick and gallant company, and yet provide not that these be with ye, my +word for it, and a powerfuller word than mine, ye shall return to your +supper tired and jaded, and rest little when ye want to rest most.’” + +“Hast no other head of the Doctor’s?” quoth Sir Thomas. + +“Verily none,” replied Willy, “of the morning’s discourse, saving the +last words of it, which, with God’s help, I shall always remember.” + +“Give us them, give us them,” said Sir Thomas. + +“He wants doctrine; he wants authority; his are grains of millet,—grains +for unfledged doves; but they are sound, except the _crying_. + +“Deliver unto us the last words; for the last of the preacher, as of the +hanged, are usually the best.” + +Then did William repeat the concluding words of the discourse, being +these:— + +“‘As years are running past us, let us throw something on them which they +cannot shake off in the dust and hurry of the world, but must carry with +them to that great year of all, whereunto the lesser of this mortal life +do tend and are subservient.’” + +Sir Thomas, after a pause, and after having bent his knee under the +table, as though there had been the church-cushion, said unto us,— + +“Here he spake _through a glass_, _darkly_, as blessed Paul hath it.” + +Then turning toward Willy,— + +“And nothing more?” + +“Nothing but the _glory_,” quoth Willy, “at which there is always such a +clatter of feet upon the floor, and creaking of benches, and rustling of +gowns, and bustle of bonnets, and justle of cushions, and dust of mats, +and treading of toes, and punching of elbows, from the spitefuller, that +one wishes to be fairly out of it, after the scramble for _the peace of +God_ is at an end—” + +Sir Thomas threw himself back upon his armchair, and exclaimed in +wonderment, “How!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“—and in the midst of the service again, were it possible. For nothing +is painfuller than to have the pail shaken off the head when it is +brim-full of the waters of life, and we are walking staidly under it.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Had the learned Doctor preached again in the evening, pursuing the +thread of his discourse, he might, peradventure, have made up the +deficiencies I find in him.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He had not that opportunity.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“The more’s the pity.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“The evening admonition, delivered by him unto the household—” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What! and did he indeed shew wind enough for that? Prithee out with it, +if thou didst put it into thy tablets.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Alack, sir! there were so many Latin words, I fear me I should be at +fault in such attempt.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Fear not; we can help thee out between us, were there a dozen or a +score.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Bating those latinities, I do verily think I could tie up again most of +the points in his doublet.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“At him then! What was his bearing?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“In dividing his matter, he spooned out and apportioned the commons in +his discourse, as best suited the quality, capacity, and constitution of +his hearers. To those in priests’ orders he delivered a sort of +catechism.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“He catechise grown men! He catechise men in priests’ orders!—being no +bishop, nor bishop’s ordinary!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He did so; it may be at his peril.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“And what else? for catechisms are baby’s pap.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He did not catechise, but he admonished the richer gentlemen with gold +tassels for their top-knots.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I thought as much. It was no better in my time. Admonitions fell +gently upon those gold tassels; and they ripened degrees as glass and +sunshine ripen cucumbers. We priests, forsooth, are catechised! The +worst question to any gold tasseller is, ‘_How do you do_?’ Old _Alma +Mater_ coaxes and would be coaxed. But let her look sharp, or spectacles +may be thrust upon her nose that shall make her eyes water. Aristotle +could make out no royal road to wisdom; but this old woman of ours will +shew you one, an you tip her. + +“Tilley valley! {124a} catechise priests, indeed!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Peradventure he did it discreetly. Let us examine and judge him. +Repeat thou what he said unto them.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“‘Many,’ said he, ‘are ingenuous, many are devout, some timidly, some +strenuously, but nearly all flinch, and rear, and kick, at the slightest +touch, or least inquisitive suspicion of an unsound part in their +doctrine. And yet, my brethren, we ought rather to flinch and feel sore +at our own searching touch, our own serious inquisition into ourselves. +Let us preachers, who are sufficiently liberal in bestowing our advice +upon others, inquire of ourselves whether the exercise of spiritual +authority may not be sometimes too pleasant, tickling our breasts with a +plume from Satan’s wing, and turning our heads with that inebriating +poison which he hath been seen to instil into the very chalice of our +salvation. Let us ask ourselves in the closet whether, after we have +humbled ourselves before God in our prayers, we never rise beyond the due +standard in the pulpit; whether our zeal for the truth be never +over-heated by internal fires less holy; whether we never grow stiffly +and sternly pertinacious, at the very time when we are reproving the +obstinacy of others; and whether we have not frequently so acted as if we +believed that opposition were to be relaxed and borne away by +self-sufficiency and intolerance. Believe me, the wisest of us have our +catechism to learn; and these, my dear friends, are not the only +questions contained in it. No Christian can hate; no Christian can +malign. Nevertheless, do we not often both hate and malign those unhappy +men who are insensible to God’s mercies? And I fear this unchristian +spirit swells darkly, with all its venom, in the marble of our hearts, +not because our brother is insensible to these mercies, but because he is +insensible to our faculty of persuasion, turning a deaf ear unto our +claim upon his obedience, or a blind or sleepy eye upon the fountain of +light, whereof we deem ourselves the sacred reservoirs. There is one +more question at which ye will tremble when ye ask it in the recesses of +your souls; I do tremble at it, yet must utter it. Whether we do not +more warmly and erectly stand up for God’s word because it came from our +mouths, than because it came from his? Learned and ingenious men may +indeed find a solution and excuse for all these propositions; but the +wise unto salvation will cry, “Forgive me, O my God, if, called by thee +to walk in thy way, I have not swept this dust from the sanctuary!”’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“All this, methinks, is for the behoof of clerks and ministers.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He taught them what they who teach others should learn and practise. +Then did he look toward the young gentlemen of large fortune; and lastly +his glances fell upon us poorer folk, whom he instructed in the duty we +owe to our superiors.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay, there he had a host.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“In one part of his admonition he said,— + +“‘Young gentlemen! let not the highest of you who hear me this evening be +led into the delusion, for such it is, that the founder of his family was +_originally_ a greater or a better man than the lowest here. He willed +it, and became it. He must have stood low; he must have worked hard,—and +with tools, moreover, of his own invention and fashioning. He waved and +whistled off ten thousand strong and importunate temptations; he dashed +the dice-box from the jewelled hand of Chance, the cup from Pleasure’s, +and trod under foot the sorceries of each; he ascended steadily the +precipices of Danger, and looked down with intrepidity from the summit; +he overawed Arrogance with Sedateness; he seized by the horn and +overleaped low Violence; and he fairly swung Fortune round. + +“‘The very high cannot rise much higher; the very low may,—the truly +great must have done it. + +“‘This is not the doctrine, my friends, of the silkenly and lawnly +religious; it wears the coarse texture of the fisherman, and walks +uprightly and straightforward under it. I am speaking now more +particularly to you among us upon whom God hath laid the incumbrances of +wealth, the sweets whereof bring teazing and poisonous things about you, +not easily sent away. What now are your pretensions under sacks of +money? or your enjoyments under the shade of genealogical trees? Are +they rational? Are they real? Do they exist at all? Strange +inconsistency! to be proud of having as much gold and silver laid upon +you as a mule hath, and yet to carry it less composedly! The mule is not +answerable for the conveyance and discharge of his burden,—you are. +Stranger infatuation still! to be prouder of an excellent thing done by +another than by yourselves, supposing any excellent thing to have +actually been done; and, after all, to be more elated on his cruelties +than his kindnesses, by the blood he hath spilt than by the benefits he +had conferred; and to acknowledge less obligation to a well-informed and +well-intentioned progenitor than to a lawless and ferocious barbarian. +Would stocks and stumps, if they could utter words, utter such gross +stupidity? Would the apple boast of his crab origin, or the peach of his +prune? Hardly any man is ashamed of being inferior to his ancestors, +although it is the very thing at which the great should blush, if, +indeed, the great in general descended from the worthy. I did expect to +see the day, and although I shall not see it, it must come at last, when +he shall be treated as a madman or an impostor who dares to claim +nobility or precedency and cannot shew his family name in the history of +his country. Even he who can shew it, and who cannot write his own under +it in the same or as goodly characters, must submit to the imputation of +degeneracy, from which the lowly and obscure are exempt. + +“‘He alone who maketh you wiser maketh you greater; and it is only by +such an implement that Almighty God himself effects it. When he taketh +away a man’s wisdom he taketh away his strength, his power over others +and over himself. What help for him then? He may sit idly and swell his +spleen, saying,—_Who is this_? _who is that_? and at the question’s end +the spirit of inquiry dies away in him. It would not have been so if, in +happier hour, he had said within himself, _Who am I_? _what am I_? and +had prosecuted the search in good earnest. + +“‘When we ask who _this_ man is, or who _that_ man is, we do not expect +or hope for a plain answer; we should be disappointed at a direct, or a +rational, or a kind one. We desire to hear that he was of low origin, or +had committed some crime, or been subjected to some calamity. Whoever he +be, in general we disregard or despise him, unless we discover that he +possesseth by nature many qualities of mind and body which he never +brings into use, and many accessories of situation and fortune which he +brings into abuse every day. According to the arithmetic in practice, he +who makes the most idlers and the most ingrates is the most worshipful. +But wiser ones than the scorers in this school will tell you how riches +and power were bestowed by Providence that generosity and mercy should be +exercised; for, if every gift of the Almighty were distributed in equal +portions to every creature, less of such virtues would be called into the +field; consequently there would be less of gratitude, less of submission, +less of devotion, less of hope, and, in the total, less of content.’” + +Here he ceased, and Sir Thomas nodded, and said,— + +“Reasonable enough! nay, almost too reasonable!” + +“But where are the apostles? Where are the disciples? Where are the +saints? Where is hell-fire?” + +“Well! patience! we may come to it yet. Go on, Will!” + +With such encouragement before him, did Will Shakspeare take breath and +continue:— + +“‘We mortals are too much accustomed to behold our superiors in rank and +station as we behold the leaves in the forest. While we stand under +these leaves, our protection and refuge from heat and labour, we see only +the rougher side of them, and the gloominess of the branches on which +they hang. In the midst of their benefits we are insensible to their +utility and their beauty, and appear to be ignorant that if they were +placed less high above us we should derive from them less advantage.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Ay; envy of superiority made the angels kick and run restive.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“May it please your worship! with all my faults, I have ever borne due +submission and reverence toward my superiors.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Very right! very scriptural! But most folks do that. Our duty is not +fulfilled unless we bear absolute veneration; unless we are ready to lay +down our lives and fortunes at the foot of the throne, and every thing +else at the foot of those who administer the laws under virgin majesty.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Honoured sir! I am quite ready to lay down my life and fortune, and all +the rest of me, before that great virgin.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Thy life and fortune, to wit! + +“What are they worth? A June cob-nut, maggot and all.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Silas, we will not repudiate nor rebuff his Magdalen, that bringeth a +pot of ointment. Rather let us teach and tutor than twit. It is a +tractable and conducible youth, being in good company.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Teach and tutor! Hold hard, sir! These base varlets ought to be taught +but two things: to bow as beseemeth them to their betters, and to hang +perpendicular. We have authority for it, that no man can add an inch to +his stature; but by aid of the sheriff I engage to find a chap who shall +add two or three to this whoreson’s.” {133a} + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Nay, nay, now, Silas! the lad’s mother was always held to be an honest +woman.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“His mother may be an honest woman for me.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“No small privilege, by my faith! for any woman in the next parish to +thee, Master Silas!” + + SIR SILAS. + +“There again! out comes the filthy runlet from the quagmire, that but now +lay so quiet with all its own in it.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Until it was trodden on by the ass that could not leap over it. These, +I think, are the words of the fable.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“They are so.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“What fable?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Tush! don’t press him too hard; he wants not wit, but learning.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“He wants a rope’s-end; and a rope’s-end is not enough for him, unless we +throw in the other.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Peradventure he may be an instrument, a potter’s clay, a type, a token. + +“I have seen many young men, and none like unto him. He is shallow but +clear; he is simple, but ingenuous.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Drag the ford again, then. In my mind he is as deep as the big tankard; +and a mouthful of rough burrage will be the beginning and end of it.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“No fear of that. Neither, if rightly reported by the youngster, is +there so much doctrine in the doctor as we expected. He doth not dwell +upon the main; he is worldly; he is wise in his generation,—he says +things out of his own head. + +“Silas, that can’t hold! We want _props—fulcrums_, I think you called +’em to the farmers; or was it _stimulums_?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Both very good words.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I should be mightily pleased to hear thee dispute with that great don.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I hate disputations. Saint Paul warns us against them. If one wants to +be thirsty, the tail of a stockfish is as good for it as the head of a +logician. + +“The doctor there, at Oxford, is in flesh and mettle; but let him be +sleek and gingered as he may, clap me in St. Mary’s pulpit, cassock me, +lamb-skin me, give me pink for my colours, glove me to the elbow, +heel-piece me half an ell high, cushion me before and behind, bring me a +mug of mild ale and a rasher of bacon, only just to con over the text +withal; then allow me fair play, and as much of my own way as he had, and +the devil take the hindermost. I am his man at any time.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I am fain to believe it. Verily, I do think, Silas, thou hast as much +stuff in thee as most men. Our beef and mutton at Charlecote rear other +than babes and sucklings. + +“I like words taken, like thine, from black-letter books. They look +stiff and sterling, and as though a man might dig about ’em for a week, +and never loosen the lightest. + +“Thou hast alway at hand either saint or devil, as occasion needeth, +according to the quality of the sinner, and they never come uncalled for. +Moreover, Master Silas, I have observed that thy hell-fire is generally +lighted up in the pulpit about the dog-days.” + +Then turned the worthy knight unto the youth, saying,— + +“’T were well for thee, William Shakspeare, if the learned doctor had +kept thee longer in his house, and had shewn unto thee the danger of +idleness, which hath often led unto deer-stealing and poetry. In thee we +already know the one, although the distemper hath eaten but skin-deep for +the present; and we have the testimony of two burgesses on the other. +The pursuit of poetry, as likewise of game, is unforbidden to persons of +condition.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, that of game is the more likely to keep them in it.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It is the more knightly of the two; but poetry hath also her pursuers +among us. I myself, in my youth, had some experience that way; and I am +fain to blush at the reputation I obtained. His honour, my father, took +me to London at the age of twenty; and, sparing no expense in my +education, gave fifty shillings to one Monsieur Dubois to teach me +fencing and poetry, in twenty lessons. In vacant hours he taught us also +the laws of honour, which are different from ours. + +“In France you are unpolite unless you solicit a judge or his wife to +favour your cause; and you inevitably lose it. In France there is no +want of honour where there is no want of courage; you may lie, but you +must not hear that you lie. I asked him what he thought then of lying; +and he replied,— + +“‘_C’est selon_.’ + +“‘And suppose you should overhear the whisper?’ + +“‘_Ah_, _parbleu_! _Cela m’irrite_; _cela me pousse au bout_.’ + +“I was going on to remark that a real man of honour could less bear to +lie than to hear it; when he cried, at the words _real man of honour_,— + +“‘_Le voilà_, _Monsieur_! _le voilà_!’ and gave himself such a blow on +the breast as convinced me the French are a brave people. + +“He told us that nothing but his honour was left him, but that it +supplied the place of all he had lost. It was discovered some time +afterward that M. Dubois had been guilty of perjury, had been a spy, and +had lost nothing but a dozen or two of tin patty-pans, hereditary in his +family, his father having been a cook on his own account. + +“William, it is well at thy time of life that thou shouldst know the +customs of far countries, particularly if it should be the will of God to +place thee in a company of players. Of all nations in the world, the +French best understand the stage. If thou shouldst ever write for it, +which God forbid, copy them very carefully. Murders on their stage are +quite decorous and cleanly. Few gentlemen and ladies die by violence who +would not have died by exhaustion. ‘For they rant and rave until their +voice fails them, one after another; and those who do not die of it die +consumptive. They cannot bear to see cruelty; they would rather see any +image than their own.’ These are not my observations, but were made by +Sir Everard Starkeye, who likewise did remark to Monsieur Dubois, that +‘cats, if you hold them up to the looking-glass, will scratch you +terribly; and that the same fierce animal, as if proud of its cleanly +coat and velvety paw, doth carefully put aside what other animals of more +estimation take no trouble to conceal.’ + +“‘Our people,’ said Sir Everard, ‘must see upon the stage what they never +could have imagined; so the best men in the world would earnestly take a +peep of hell through a chink, whereas the worser would skulk away.’ + +“Do not thou be their caterer, William! Avoid the writing of comedies +and tragedies. To make people laugh is uncivil, and to make people cry +is unkind. And what, after all, are these comedies and these tragedies? +They are what, for the benefit of all future generations, I have myself +described them,— + + ‘The whimsies of wantons and stories of dread, + That make the stout-hearted look under the bed.’ + +Furthermore, let me warn thee against the same on account of the vast +charges thou must stand at. We Englishmen cannot find it in our hearts +to murder a man without much difficulty, hesitation, and delay. We have +little or no invention for pains and penalties; it is only our acutest +lawyers who have wit enough to frame them. Therefore it behooveth your +tragedy-man to provide a rich assortment of them, in order to strike the +auditor with awe and wonder. And a tragedy-man, in our country, who +cannot afford a fair dozen of stabbed males, and a trifle under that mark +of poisoned females, and chains enow to moor a whole navy in dock, is but +a scurvy fellow at the best. Thou wilt find trouble in purveying these +necessaries; and then must come the gim-cracks for the second +course,—gods, goddesses, fates, furies, battles, marriages, music, and +the maypole. Hast thou within thee wherewithal?” + +“Sir!” replied Billy, with great modesty, “I am most grateful for these +ripe fruits of your experience. To admit delightful visions into my own +twilight chamber is not dangerous nor forbidden. Believe me, sir, he who +indulges in them will abstain from injuring his neighbour; he will see no +glory in peril, and no delight in strife. + +“The world shall never be troubled by any battles and marriages of mine, +and I desire no other music and no other maypole than have lightened my +heart at Stratford.” + +Sir Thomas, finding him well-conditioned and manageable, proceeded:— + +“Although I have admonished thee of sundry and insurmountable +impediments, yet more are lying in the pathway. We have no verse for +tragedy. One in his hurry hath dropped rhyme, and walketh like unto the +man who wanteth the left-leg stocking. Others can give us rhyme indeed, +but can hold no longer after the tenth or eleventh syllable. Now Sir +Everard Starkeye, who is a pretty poet, did confess to Monsieur Dubois +the potency of the French tragic verse, which thou never canst hope to +bring over. + +“‘I wonder, Monsieur Dubois!’ said Sir Everard, ‘that your countrymen +should have thought it necessary to transport their heavy artillery into +Italy. No Italian could stand a volley of your heroic verses from the +best and biggest pieces. With these brought into action, you never could +have lost the battle of Pavia.’ + +“Now my friend Sir Everard is not quite so good a historian as he is a +poet; and Monsieur Dubois took advantage of him. + +“‘Pardon! Monsieur Sir Everard!’ said Monsieur Dubois, smiling at my +friend’s slip, ‘We did not lose the battle of Pavia. We had the +misfortune to lose our king, who delivered himself up, as our kings +always do, for the good and glory of his country.’ + +“‘How was this?’ said Sir Everard, in surprise. + +“‘I will tell you, Monsieur Sir Everard!’ said Monsieur Dubois. ‘I had +it from my own father, who fought in the battle, and told my mother, word +for word. + +“‘The king seeing his household troops, being only one thousand strong, +surrounded by twelve regiments, the best Spanish troops, amounting to +eighteen thousand four hundred and forty-two, although he doubted not of +victory, yet thought he might lose many brave men before the close of the +day, and rode up instantly to King Charles, and said,— + +“‘“My brother! I am loath to lose so many of those brave men yonder. +Whistle off your Spanish pointers, and I agree to ride home with you.” + +“‘And so he did. But what did King Charles? Abusing French loyalty, he +made our Francis his prisoner, would you believe it? and treated him +worse than ever badger was treated at the bottom of any paltry +stable-yard, putting upon his table beer and Rhenish wine and wild boar.’ + +“I have digressed with thee, young man,” continued the knight, much to +the improvement of my knowledge, I do reverentially confess, as it was of +the lad’s. “We will now,” said he, “endeavour our best to sober thee, +finding that Doctor Glaston hath omitted it.” + +“Not entirely omitted it,” said William, gratefully; “he did after dinner +all that could be done at such a time toward it. The doctor could, +however, speak only of the Greeks and Romans, and certainly what he said +of them gave me but little encouragement.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“What said he?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“He said, ‘The Greeks conveyed all their wisdom into their theatre,—their +stages were churches and parliament-houses; but what was false prevailed +over what was true. They had their own wisdom, the wisdom of the +foolish. Who is Sophocles, if compared to Doctor Hammersley of Oriel? or +Euripides, if compared to Doctor Prichard of Jesus? Without the Gospel, +light is darkness; and with it, children are giants. + +“‘William, I need not expatiate on Greek with thee, since thou knowest it +not, but some crumbs of Latin are picked up by the callowest beaks. The +Romans had, as thou findest, and have still, more taste for murder than +morality, and, as they could not find heroes among them, looked for +gladiators. Their only very high poet employed his elevation and +strength to dethrone and debase the Deity. They had several others, who +polished their language and pitched their instruments with admirable +skill; several who glued over their thin and flimsy gaberdines many +bright feathers from the widespread downs of Ionia, and the richly +cultivated rocks of Attica. + +“‘Some of them have spoken from inspiration; for thou art not to suppose +that from the heathen were withheld all the manifestations of the Lord. +We do agree at Oxford that the Pollio of Virgil is our Saviour. True, it +is the dullest and poorest poem that a nation not very poetical hath +bequeathed unto us; and even the versification, in which this master +excelled, is wanting in fluency and sweetness. I can only account for it +from the weight of the subject. Two verses, which are fairly worth two +hundred such poems, are from another pagan; he was forced to sigh for the +church without knowing her. He saith,— + + “May I gaze upon thee when my latest hour is come! + May I hold thy hand when mine faileth me!” + +This, if adumbrating the church, is the most beautiful thought that ever +issued from the heart of man; but if addressed to a wanton, as some do +opine, is filth from the sink, nauseating and insufferable. + +“‘William! that which moveth the heart most is the best poetry; it comes +nearest unto God, the source of all power.’” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Yea; and he appeareth unto me to know more of poetry than of divinity. +Those ancients have little flesh upon the body poetical, and lack the +savour that sufficeth. The Song of Solomon drowns all their voices: they +seem but whistlers and guitar-players compared to a full-cheeked +trumpeter; they standing under the eaves in some dark lane, he upon a +well-caparisoned stallion, tossing his mane and all his ribbons to the +sun. I doubt the doctor spake too fondly of the Greeks; they were giddy +creatures. William, I am loath to be hard on them; but they please me +not. There are those now living who could make them bite their nails to +the quick, and turn green as grass with envy.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, one of those Greeks, methinks, thrown into the pickle-pot, would be +a treasure to the housewife’s young jerkins.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Simpleton! simpleton! but thou valuest them justly. Now attend. If +ever thou shouldst hear, at Oxford or London, the verses I am about to +repeat, prithee do not communicate them to that fiery spirit Mat +Atterend. It might not be the battle of two hundreds, but two counties; +a sort of York and Lancaster war, whereof I would wash my hands. +Listen!” + +And now did Sir Thomas clear his voice, always high and sonorous, and did +repeat from the stores of his memory these rich and proud verses,— + + “‘Chloe! mean men must ever make mean loves; + They deal in dog-roses, but I in cloves. + They are just scorch’d enough to blow their fingers; + I am a phœnix downright burnt to cinders.’” + +At which noble conceits, so far above what poor Bill had ever imagined, +he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and exclaimed,— + +“The world itself must be reduced to that condition before such glorious +verses die! _Chloe_ and _Clove_! Why, sir! Chloe wants but a V toward +the tail to become the very thing! Never tell me that such matters can +come about of themselves. And how truly is it said that we mean men deal +in dog-roses. + +“Sir, if it were permitted me to swear on that holy Bible, I would swear +I never until this day heard that dog-roses were our provender; and yet +did I, no longer ago than last summer, write, not indeed upon a dog-rose, +but upon a sweet-briar, what would only serve to rinse the mouth withal +after the clove.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Repeat the same, youth. We may haply give thee our counsel thereupon.” + +Willy took heart, and lowering his voice, which hath much natural +mellowness, repeated these from memory:— + + “My briar that smelledst sweet + When gentle spring’s first heat + Ran through thy quiet veins,— + Thou that wouldst injure none, + But wouldst be left alone,— + Alone thou leavest me, and nought of thine remains. + + “What! hath no poet’s lyre + O’er thee, sweet-breathing briar, + Hung fondly, ill or well? + And yet methinks with thee + A poet’s sympathy, + Whether in weal or woe, in life or death, might dwell. + + “Hard usage both must bear, + Few hands your youth will rear, + Few bosoms cherish you; + Your tender prime must bleed + Ere you are sweet, but freed + From life, you then are prized; thus prized are poets too.” + +Sir Thomas said, with kind encouragement, “He who beginneth so discreetly +with a dog-rose, may hope to encompass a damask-rose ere he die.” + +Willy did now breathe freely. The commendation of a knight and +magistrate worked powerfully within him; and Sir Thomas said +furthermore,— + +“These short matters do not suit me. Thou mightest have added some moral +about life and beauty,—poets never handle roses without one; but thou art +young, and mayest get into the train.” + +Willy made the best excuse he could; and no bad one it was, the knight +acknowledged; namely, that the sweet-briar was not really dead, although +left for dead. + +“Then,” said Sir Thomas, “as life and beauty would not serve thy turn, +thou mightest have had full enjoyment of the beggar, the wayside, the +thieves, and the good Samaritan,—enough to tapestry the bridal chamber of +an empress.” + +William bowed respectfully, and sighed. + +“Ha! thou hast lost them, sure enough, and it may not be quite so fair to +smile at thy quandary,” quoth Sir Thomas. + +“I did my best the first time,” said Willy, “and fell short the second.” + +“That, indeed, thou must have done,” said Sir Thomas. “It is a grievous +disappointment, in the midst of our lamentations for the dead, to find +ourselves balked. I am curious to see how thou couldst help thyself. +Don’t be abashed; I am ready for even worse than the last.” + +Bill hesitated, but obeyed:— + + “And art thou yet alive? + And shall the happy hive + Send out her youth to cull + Thy sweets of leaf and flower, + And spend the sunny hour + With thee, and thy faint heart with murmuring music lull? + + “Tell me what tender care, + Tell me what pious prayer, + Bade thee arise and live. + The fondest-favoured bee + Shall whisper nought to thee + More loving than the song my grateful muse shall give.” + +Sir Thomas looked somewhat less pleased at the conclusion of these verses +than at the conclusion of the former, and said, gravely,— + +“Young man! methinks it is betimes that thou talkest of having a muse to +thyself; or even in common with others. It is only great poets who have +muses; I mean to say who have the right to talk in that fashion. The +French, I hear, _Phœbus_ it and _muse-me_ it right and left; and boggle +not to throw all nine, together with mother and master, into the compass +of a dozen lines or thereabout. And your Italian can hardly do without +’em in the multiplication-table. We Englishmen do let them in quietly, +shut the door, and say nothing of what passes. I have read a whole book +of comedies, and ne’er a muse to help the lamest.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Wonderful forbearance! I marvel how the poet could get through.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“By God’s help. And I think we did as well without ’em; for it must be +an unabashable man that ever shook his sides in their company. They lay +heavy restraint both upon laughing and crying. In the great master +Virgil of Rome, they tell me they come in to count the ships, and having +cast up the sum total, and proved it, make off again. Sure token of two +things,—first, that he held ’em dog-cheap; secondly, that he had made but +little progress (for a Lombard born) in book-keeping at double entry. + +“He, and every other great genius, began with small subject-matters, +gnats and the like. I myself, similar unto him, wrote upon fruit. I +would give thee some copies for thy copying, if I thought thou wouldst +use them temperately, and not render them common, as hath befallen the +poetry of some among the brightest geniuses. I could shew thee how to +say new things, and how to time the same. Before my day, nearly all the +flowers and fruits had been gathered by poets, old and young, _from the +cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop on the wall_; roses went up to Solomon, +apples to Adam, and so forth. + +“Willy! my brave lad! I was the first that ever handled a quince, I’ll +be sworn. + +“Hearken! + + “Chloe! I would not have thee wince + That I unto thee send a quince. + I would not have thee say unto ’t + _Begone_! and trample ’t underfoot, + For, trust me, ’t is no fulsome fruit. + It came not out of mine own garden, + But all the way from Henly in Arden,— + Of an uncommon fine old tree, + Belonging to John Asbury. + And if that of it thou shalt eat, + ’Twill make thy breath e’en yet more sweet; + As a translation here doth shew, + _On fruit-trees_, _by Jean Mirabeau_. + The frontispiece is printed so. + But eat it with some wine and cake, + Or it may give the belly-ache. {153a} + This doth my worthy clerk indite, + I sign, + + SIR THOMAS LUCY, Knight.” + +“Now, Willy, there is not one poet or lover in twenty who careth for +consequences. Many hint to the lady what to do, few what not to do +although it would oftentimes, as in this case, go to one’s heart to see +the upshot.” + +“Ah, sir,” said Bill, in all humility, “I would make bold to put the +parings of that quince under my pillow, for sweet dreams and insights, if +Doctor Glaston had given me encouragement to continue the pursuit of +poetry. Of a surety it would bless me with a bedful of churches and +crucifixions, duly adumbrated.” + +Whereat Sir Thomas, shaking his head, did inform him,— + +“It was in the golden age of the world, as pagans call it, that poets of +condition sent fruits and flowers to their beloved, with posies fairly +penned. We, in our days, have done the like. But manners of late are +much corrupted on the one side, if not on both. + +“Willy! it hath been whispered that there be those who would rather have +a piece of brocade or velvet for a stomacher than the touchingest copy of +verses, with a bleeding heart at the bottom.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Incredible!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“’T is even so!” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“They must surely be rotten fragments of the world before the +flood,—saved out of it by the devil.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I am not of that mind. + +“Their eyes, mayhap, fell upon some of the bravery cast ashore from the +Spanish Armada. In ancienter days, a few pages of good poetry outvalued +a whole ell of the finest Genoa.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“When will such days return?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It is only within these few years that corruption and avarice have made +such ghastly strides. They always did exist, but were gentler. + +“My youth is waning, and has been nigh upon these seven years, I being +now in my forty-eighth.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I have understood that the god of poetry is in the enjoyment of eternal +youth; I was ignorant that his sons were.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“No, child! we are hale and comely, but must go the way of all flesh.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Must it, can it, be?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Time was, my smallest gifts were acceptable, as thus recorded:— + + “From my fair hand, O will ye, will ye + Deign humbly to accept a gilly- + Flower for thy bosom, sugared maid! + + “Scarce had I said it ere she took it, + And in a twinkling, faith! had stuck it, + Where e’en proud knighthood might have laid.” + +William was now quite unable to contain himself, and seemed utterly to +have forgotten the grievous charge against him; to such a pitch did his +joy o’erleap his jeopardy. + +Master Silas in the meantime was much disquieted; and first did he strip +away all the white feather from every pen in the inkpot, and then did he +mend them, one and all, and then did he slit them with his thumb-nail, +and then did he pare and slash away at them again and then did he cut off +the tops, until at last he left upon them neither nib nor plume, nor +enough of the middle to serve as quill to a virginal. It went to my +heart to see such a power of pens so wasted; there could not be fewer +than five. Sir Thomas was less wary than usual, being overjoyed. For +great poets do mightly affect to have little poets under them; and little +poets do forget themselves in great company, as fiddlers do, who _hail +fellow well met_ even with lords. + +Sir Thomas did not interrupt our Bill’s wild gladness. I never thought +so worshipful a personage could bear so much. At last he said unto the +lad,— + +“I do bethink me, if thou hearest much more of my poetry, and the success +attendant thereon, good Doctor Glaston would tear thy skirt off ere he +could drag thee back from the occupation.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I fear me, for once, all his wisdom would sluice out in vain.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It was reported to me that when our virgin queen’s highness (her Dear +Dread’s {157a} ear not being then poisoned) heard these verses, she said +before her courtiers, to the sore travail of some, and heart’s content of +others,— + +“‘We need not envy our young cousin James of Scotland his ass’s bite of a +thistle, having such flowers as these gillyflowers on the chimney-stacks +of Charlecote.’ + +“I could have told her highness that all this poetry, from beginning to +end, was real matter of fact, well and truly spoken by mine own self. I +had only to harness the rhymes thereunto, at my leisure.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“None could ever doubt it. Greeks and Trojans may fight for the quince; +neither shall have it + + While a Warwickshire lad + Is on earth to be had, + With a wand to wag + On a trusty nag, + He shall keep the lists + With cudgel or fists. + And black shall be whose eye + Looks evil on Lucy.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Nay, nay, nay! do not trespass too soon upon heroics. Thou seest thou +canst not hold thy wind beyond eight lines. What wouldst thou do under +the heavy mettle that should have wrought such wonders at Pavia, if thou +findest these petards so troublesome in discharging? Surely, the good +doctor, had he entered at large on the subject, would have been very +particular in urging this expostulation.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Sir, to my mortification I must confess that I took to myself the +counsel he was giving to another; a young gentleman who, from his pale +face, his abstinence at table, his cough, his taciturnity, and his +gentleness, seemed already more than half poet. To him did Doctor +Glaston urge, with all his zeal and judgment, many arguments against the +vocation; telling him that, even in college, he had few applauders, being +the first, and not the second or third, who always are more fortunate; +reminding him that he must solicit and obtain much interest with men of +rank and quality, before he could expect their favour; and that without +it the vein chilled, the nerve relaxed, and the poet was left at next +door to the bellman. ‘In the coldness of the world,’ said he, ‘in the +absence of ready friends and adherents, to light thee upstairs to the +richly tapestried chamber of the muses, thy spirits will abandon thee, +thy heart will sicken and swell within thee; overladen, thou wilt make, O +Ethelbert! a slow and painful progress, and ere the door open, sink. +Praise giveth weight unto the wanting, and happiness giveth elasticity +unto the heavy. As the mightiest streams of the unexplored world, +America, run languidly in the night, {159a} and await the sun on high to +contend with him in strength and grandeur, so doth genius halt and pause +in the thraldom of outspread darkness, and move onward with all his +vigour then only when creative light and jubilant warmth surround him.’ + +“Ethelbert coughed faintly; a tinge of red, the size of a rose-bud, +coloured the middle of his cheek; and yet he seemed not to be pained by +the reproof. He looked fondly and affectionately at his teacher, who +thus proceeded: + +“‘My dear youth, do not carry the stone of Sisyphus on thy shoulder to +pave the way to disappointment. If thou writest but indifferent poetry +none will envy thee, and some will praise thee; but nature, in her +malignity, hath denied unto thee a capacity for the enjoyment of such +praise. In this she hath been kinder to most others than to thee; we +know wherein she hath been kinder to thee than to most others. If thou +writest good poetry many will call it flat, many will call it obscure, +many will call it inharmonious; and some of these will speak as they +think; for, as in giving a feast to great numbers, it is easier to +possess the wine than to procure the cups, so happens it in poetry; thou +hast the beverage of thy own growth, but canst not find the recipients. +What is simple and elegant to thee and me, to many an honest man is flat +and sterile; what to us is an innocently sly allusion, to as worthy a one +as either of us is dull obscurity; and that moreover which swims upon our +brain, and which throbs against our temples, and which we delight in +sounding to ourselves when the voice has done with it, touches their ear, +and awakens no harmony in any cell of it. Rivals will run up to thee and +call thee a plagiary, and, rather than that proof should be wanting, +similar words to some of thine will be thrown in thy teeth out of +Leviticus and Deuteronomy. + +“‘Do you desire calm studies? Do you desire high thoughts? Penetrate +into theology. What is nobler than to dissect and discern the opinions +of the gravest men upon the subtlest matters? And what glorious +victories are those over Infidelity and Scepticism! How much loftier, +how much more lasting in their effects, than such as ye are invited unto +by what this ingenious youth hath contemptuously and truly called + + “The swaggering drum, and trumpet hoarse with rage.” + +And what a delightful and edifying sight it is, to see hundreds of the +most able doctors, all stripped for the combat, each closing with his +antagonist, and tugging and tearing, tooth and nail, to lay down and +establish truths which have been floating in the air for ages, and which +the lower order of mortals are forbidden to see, and commanded to +embrace. And then the shouts of victory! And then the crowns of +amaranth held over their heads by the applauding angels! Besides, these +combats have other great and distinct advantages. Whereas, in the +carnal, the longer ye contend the more blows do ye receive; in these +against Satan, the more fiercely and pertinaciously ye drive at him, the +slacker do ye find him; every good hit makes him redden and rave with +anger, but diminishes its effect. + +“‘My dear friends, who would not enter a service in which he may give +blows to his mortal enemy, and receive none; and in which not only the +eternal gain is incalculable, but also the temporal, at four-and-twenty, +may be far above the emolument of generals, who, before the priest was +born, had bled profusely for their country, established her security, +brightened her glory, and augmented her dominions?’” + +At this pause did Sir Thomas turn unto Sir Silas, and asked,— + +“What sayest thou, Silas?” + +Whereupon did Sir Silas make answer,— + +“I say it is so, and was so, and should be so, and shall be so. If the +queen’s brother had not sopped the priests and bishops out of the +Catholic cup, they could have held the Catholic cup in their own hands, +instead of yielding it into his. They earned their money; if they sold +their consciences for it, the business is theirs, not ours. I call this +facing the devil with a vengeance. We have their coats; no matter who +made ’em,—we have ’em, I say, and we will wear ’em; and not a button, +tag, or tassel, shall any man tear away.” + +Sir Thomas then turned to Willy, and requested him to proceed with the +doctor’s discourse, who thereupon continued:— + +“‘Within your own recollections, how many good, quiet, inoffensive men, +unendowed with any extraordinary abilities, have been enabled, by means +of divinity, to enjoy a long life in tranquillity and affluence?’ + +“Whereupon did one of the young gentlemen smile, and, on small +encouragement from Doctor Glaston to enounce the cause thereof, he +repeated these verses, which he gave afterward unto me:— + + “‘In the names on our books + Was standing Tom Flooke’s, + Who took in due time his degrees; + Which when he had taken, + Like Ascham or Bacon, + By night he could snore and by day he could sneeze. + + “‘Calm, pithy, pragmatical, {164a} + Tom Flooke he could at a call + Rise up like a hound from his sleep; + And if many a quarto + He gave not his heart to, + If pellucid in lore, in his cups he was deep. + + “‘He never did harm, + And his heart might be warm, + For his doublet most certainly was so; + And now has Torn Flooke + A quieter nook + Than ever had Spenser or Tasso. + + “‘He lives in his house, + As still as a mouse, + Until he has eaten his dinner; + But then doth his nose + Outroar all the woes + That encompass the death of a sinner. + + “‘And there oft has been seen + No less than a dean + To tarry a week in the parish, + In October and March, + When deans are less starch, + And days are less gleamy and garish. + + “‘That Sunday Tom’s eyes + Look’d always more wise, + He repeated more often his text; + Two leaves stuck together, + (The fault of the weather) + And . . . _the rest ye shall hear in my next_. + + “‘At mess he lost quite + His small appetite, + By losing his friend the good dean; + The cook’s sight must fail her! + The eggs sure are staler! + The beef, too!—why, what can it mean? + + “‘He turned off the butcher, + To the cook could he clutch her, + What his choler had done there’s no saying— + ’T is verily said + He smote low the cock’s head, + And took other pullets for laying.’ + +“On this being concluded, Doctor Glaston said he shrewdly suspected an +indigestion on the part of Mr. Thomas Flooke, caused by sitting up late +and studying hard with Mr. Dean; and he protested that theology itself +should not carry us into the rawness of the morning air, particularly in +such critical months as March and October, in one of which the sap rises, +in the other sinks, and there are many stars very sinister.” + +Sir Thomas shook his head, and declared he would not be uncharitable to +rector, or dean, or doctor, but that certain surmises swam uppermost. He +then winked at Master Silas, who said, incontinently,— + +“You have it, Sir Thomas! The blind buzzards! with their stars and +saps!” + +“Well, but Silas! you yourself have told us over and over again, in +church, that there are _arcana_.” + +“So there are,—I uphold it,” replied Master Silas; “but a fig for the +greater part, and a fig-leaf for the rest. As for these signs, they are +as plain as any page in the Revelation.” + +Sir Thomas, after short pondering, said, scoffingly,— + +“In regard to the rawness of the air having any effect whatsoever on +those who discourse orthodoxically on theology, it is quite as absurd as +to imagine that a man ever caught cold in a Protestant church. I am +rather of opinion that it was a judgment on the rector for his +evil-mindedness toward the cook, the Lord foreknowing that he was about +to be wilful and vengeful in that quarter. It was, however, more +advisedly that he took other pullets, on his own view of the case, +although it might be that the same pullets would suit him again as well +as ever, when his appetite should return; for it doth not appear that +they were loath to lay, but laid somewhat unsatisfactorily. + +“Now, youth,” continued his worship, “if in our clemency we should spare +thy life, study this higher elegiacal strain which thou hast carried with +thee from Oxford; it containeth, over and above an unusual store of +biography, much sound moral doctrine, for those who are heedful in the +weighing of it. And what can be more affecting than— + + ‘At mess he lost quite + His small appetite, + By losing his friend the good dean’? + +And what an insight into character! Store it up; store it up! _Small +appetite_, particular; _good dean_, generick.” + +Hereupon did Master Silas jerk me with his indicative joint, the elbow to +wit, and did say in my ear,— + +“He means _deanery_. Give me one of those bones so full of marrow, and +let my lord bishop have all the meat over it, and welcome. If a dean is +not on his stilts, he is not on his stumps; he stands on his own ground; +he is a _noli-metangeretarian_.” + +“What art thou saying of those sectaries, good Master Silas?” quoth Sir +Thomas, not hearing him distinctly. + +“I was talking of the dean,” replied Master Silas. “He was the very dean +who wrote and sang that song called the _Two Jacks_.” + +“Hast it?” asked he. + +Master Silas shook his head, and, trying in vain to recollect it, said at +last,— + +“After dinner it sometimes pops out of a filbert-shell in a crack; and I +have known it float on the first glass of Herefordshire cider; it also +hath some affinity with very stiff and old bottled beer; but in a morning +it seemeth unto me like a remnant of over-night.” + +“Our memory waneth, Master Silas!” quoth Sir Thomas, looking seriously. +“If thou couldst repeat it, without the grimace of singing, it were not +ill.” + +Master Silas struck the table with his fist, and repeated the first stave +angrily; but in the second he forgot the admonition of Sir Thomas, and +did sing outright,— + + “Jack Calvin and Jack Cade, + Two gentles of one trade, + Two tinkers, + Very gladly would pull down + Mother Church and Father Crown, + And would starve or would drown + Right thinkers. + + “Honest man! honest man! + Fill the can, fill the can, + They are coming! they are coming! they are coming! + If any drop be left, + It might tempt ’em to a theft— + Zooks! it was only the ale that was humming.” + +“In the first stave, gramercy! there is an awful verity,” quoth Sir +Thomas; “but I wonder that a dean should let his skewer slip out, and his +fat catch fire so wofully, in the second. Light stuff, Silas, fit only +for ale-houses.” + +Master Silas was nettled in the nose, and answered,— + +“Let me see the man in Warwickshire, and in all the counties round, who +can run at such a rate with so light a feather in the palm of his hand. +I am no poet, thank God! but I know what folks can do, and what folks +cannot do.” + +“Well, Silas,” replied Sir Thomas, “after thy thanksgiving for being no +poet, let us have the rest of the piece.” + +“The rest!” quoth Master Silas. “When the ale hath done with its +humming, it is time, methinks, to dismiss it. Sir, there never was any +more; you might as well ask for more after Amen or the see of +Canterbury.” + +Sir Thomas was dissatisfied, and turned off the discourse; and +peradventure he grew more inclined to be gracious unto Willy from the +slight rub his chaplain had given him, were it only for the contrariety. +When he had collected his thoughts he was determined to assert his +supremacy on the score of poetry. + +“Deans, I perceive, like other quality,” said he, “cannot run on long +together. My friend, Sir Everard Starkeye, could never overleap four +bars. I remember but one composition of his, on a young lady who mocked +at his inconsistency, in calling her sometimes his Grace and at other +times his Muse. + + ‘My Grace shall Fanny Carew be, + While here she deigns to stay; + And (ah, how sad the change for me!) + My Muse when far away!’ + +And when we laughed at him for turning his back upon her after the fourth +verse, all he could say for himself was, that he would rather a game at +_all fours_ with Fanny, than _ombre_ and _picquet_ with the finest +furbelows in Christendom. Men of condition do usually want a belt in the +course.” + +Whereunto said Master Silas,— + +“Men out of condition are quite as liable to lack it, methinks.” + +“Silas! Silas!” replied the knight, impatiently, “prithee keep to thy +divinity, thy strong hold upon Zion; thence none that faces thee can draw +thee without being bitten to the bone. Leave poetry to me.” + +“With all my heart,” quoth Master Silas, “I will never ask a belt from +her, until I see she can afford to give a shirt. She has promised a +belt, indeed,—not one, however, that doth much improve the wind,—to this +lad here, and will keep her word; but she was forced to borrow the +pattern from a Carthusian friar, and somehow it slips above the +shoulder.” + +“I am by no means sure of that,” quoth Sir Thomas. “He shall have fair +play. He carrieth in his mind many valuable things, whereof it hath +pleased Providence to ordain him the depository. He hath laid before us +certain sprigs of poetry from Oxford, trim as pennyroyal, and larger +leaves of household divinity, the most mildly-savoured,—pleasant in +health and wholesome in sickness.” + +“I relish not such mutton-broth divinity,” said Master Silas. “It makes +me sick in order to settle my stomach.” + +“We may improve it,” said the knight, “but first let us hear more.” + +Then did William Shakspeare resume Dr. Glaston’s discourse. + +“‘Ethelbert! I think thou walkest but little; otherwise I should take +thee with me, some fine fresh morning, as far as unto the first hamlet on +the Cherwell. There lies young Wellerby, who, the year before, was wont +to pass many hours of the day poetising amid the ruins of Godstow +nunnery. It is said that he bore a fondness toward a young maiden in +that place, formerly a village, now containing but two old farm-houses. +In my memory there were still extant several dormitories. Some love-sick +girl had recollected an ancient name, and had engraven on a stone with a +garden-nail, which lay in rust near it,— + + “POORE ROSAMUND.” + +I entered these precincts, and beheld a youth of manly form and +countenance, washing and wiping a stone with a handful of wet grass; and +on my going up to him, and asking what he had found, he shewed it to me. +The next time I saw him was near the banks of the Cherwell. He had +tried, it appears, to forget or overcome his foolish passion, and had +applied his whole mind unto study. He was foiled by his competitor; and +now he sought consolation in poetry. Whether this opened the wounds that +had closed in his youthful breast, and malignant Love, in his revenge, +poisoned it; or whether the disappointment he had experienced in finding +others preferred to him, first in the paths of fortune, then in those of +the muses,—he was thought to have died broken-hearted. + +“‘About half a mile from St. John’s College is the termination of a +natural terrace, with the Cherwell close under it, in some places bright +with yellow and red flowers glancing and glowing through the stream, and +suddenly in others dark with the shadows of many different trees, in +broad, overbending thickets, and with rushes spear-high, and +party-coloured flags. + +“‘After a walk in Midsummer, the emersion of our hands into the cool and +closing grass is surely not the least among our animal delights. I was +just seated, and the first sensation of rest vibrated in me gently, as +though it were music to the limbs, when I discovered by a hollow in the +herbage that another was near. The long meadow-sweet and blooming burnet +half concealed from me him whom the earth was about to hide totally and +for ever. + +“‘Master Batchelor,’ said I, ‘it is ill-sleeping by the water-side.’ + +“‘No answer was returned. I arose, went to the place, and recognised +poor Wellerby. His brow was moist, his cheek was warm. A few moments +earlier, and that dismal lake whereunto and wherefrom the waters of life, +the buoyant blood, ran no longer, might have received one vivifying ray +reflected from my poor casement. I might not indeed have comforted—I +have often failed; but there is one who never has; and the strengthener +of the bruised reed should have been with us. + +“‘Remembering that his mother did abide one mile further on, I walked +forward to the mansion, and asked her what tidings she lately had +received of her son. She replied that, having given up his mind to light +studies, the fellows of the college would not elect him. The master had +warned him beforehand to abandon his selfish poetry, take up manfully the +quarterstaff of logic, and wield it for St. John’s, come who would into +the ring. “‘We want our man,’” said he to me, “‘and your son hath failed +us in the hour of need. Madam, he hath been foully beaten in the schools +by one he might have swallowed, with due exercise.’” + +“‘“I rated him, told him I was poor, and he knew it. He was stung, and +threw himself upon my neck, and wept. Twelve days have passed since, and +only three rainy ones. I hear he has been seen upon the knoll yonder; +but hither he hath not come. I trust he knows at last the value of time, +and I shall be heartily glad to see him after this accession of +knowledge. Twelve days, it is true, are rather a chink than a gap in +time; yet, O gentle sir, they are that chink which makes the vase quite +valueless. There are light words which may never be shaken off the mind +they fall on. My child, who was hurt by me, will not let me see the +marks.” + +“‘“Lady,” said I, “none are left upon him. Be comforted! thou shalt see +him this hour. All that thy God hath not taken is yet thine.” She +looked at me earnestly, and would have then asked something, but her +voice failed her. There was no agony, no motion, save in the lips and +cheeks. Being the widow of one who fought under Hawkins, she remembered +his courage and sustained the shock, saying calmly, “God’s will be done! +I pray that he find me as worthy as he findeth me willing to join them.” + +“‘Now, in her unearthly thoughts she had led her only son to the bosom of +her husband; and in her spirit (which often is permitted to pass the +gates of death with holy love) she left them both with their Creator. + +“‘The curate of the village sent those who should bring home the body; +and some days afterward he came unto me, beseeching me to write the +epitaph. Being no friend to stonecutters’ charges, I entered not into +biography, but wrote these few words:— + + JOANNES WELLERBY, + LITERARUM QUÆSIVIT GLORIAM, + VIDET DEI.’” + +“Poor tack! poor tack!” sourly quoth Master Silas. “If your wise doctor +could say nothing more about the fool, who died like a rotten sheep among +the darnels, his Latin might have held out for the father, and might have +told people he was as cool as a cucumber at home, and as hot as pepper in +battle. Could he not find room enough on the whinstone, to tell the +folks of the village how he played the devil among the dons, burning +their fingers when they would put thumbscrews upon us, punching them in +the weasand as a blacksmith punches a horse-shoe, and throwing them +overboard like bilgewater? + +“Has Oxford lost all her Latin? Here is no _capitani filius_; no more +mention of family than a Welchman would have allowed him; no _hîc jacet_; +and, worse than all, the devil a tittle of _spe redemptionis_, or _anno +Domini_.” + +“Willy!” quoth Sir Thomas, “I shrewdly do suspect there was more, and +that thou hast forgotten it.” + +“Sir!” answered Willy, “I wrote not down the words, fearing to mis-spell +them, and begged them of the doctor, when I took my leave of him on the +morrow; and verily he wrote down all he had repeated. I keep them always +in the tin-box in my waistcoat-pocket, among the eel-hooks, on a scrap of +paper a finger’s length and breadth, folded in the middle to fit. And +when the eels are running, I often take it out and read it before I am +aware. I could as soon forget my own epitaph as this.” + +“Simpleton!” said Sir Thomas, with his gentle, compassionate smile; “but +thou hast cleared thyself.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I think the doctor gave one idle chap as much solid pudding as he could +digest, with a slice to spare for another.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“And yet after this pudding the doctor gave him a spoonful of custard, +flavoured with a little bitter, which was mostly left at the bottom for +the other idle chap.” + +Sir Thomas not only did endure this very goodnaturedly, but deigned even +to take in good part the smile upon my countenance, as though he were a +smile collector, and as though his estate were so humble that he could +hold his laced bonnet (in all his bravery) for bear and fiddle. + +He then said unto Willy, + +“Place likewise this custard before us.” + +“There is but little of it; the platter is shallow,” replied he; “’t was +suited to Master Ethelbert’s appetite. The contents were these: + +“‘The things whereon thy whole soul brooded in its innermost recesses, +and with all its warmth and energy, will pass unprized and unregarded, +not only throughout thy lifetime but long after. For the higher beauties +of poetry are beyond the capacity, beyond the vision of almost all. Once +perhaps in half a century a single star is discovered, then named and +registered, then mentioned by five studious men to five more; at last +some twenty say, or repeat in writing, what they have heard about it. +Other stars await other discoveries. Few and solitary and wide asunder +are those who calculate their relative distances, their mysterious +influences, their glorious magnitude, and their stupendous height. ’T is +so, believe me, and ever was so, with the truest and best poetry. Homer, +they say, was blind; he might have been ere he died,—that he sat among +the blind, we are sure. + +“‘Happy they who, like this young lad from Stratford, write poetry on the +saddle-bow when their geldings are jaded, and keep the desk for better +purposes.’ + +“The young gentlemen, like the elderly, all turned their faces toward me, +to my confusion, so much did I remark of sneer and scoff at my cost. +Master Ethelbert was the only one who spared me. He smiled and said,— + +“‘Be patient! From the higher heavens of poetry, it is long before the +radiance of the brightest star can reach the world below. We hear that +one man finds out one beauty, another man finds out another, placing his +observatory and instruments on the poet’s grave. The worms must have +eaten us before it is rightly known what we are. It is only when we are +skeletons that we are boxed and ticketed, and prized and shewn. Be it +so! I shall not be tired of waiting.’” + +“Reasonable youth!” said Sir Thomas; “yet both he and Glaston walk rather +_a-straddle_, methinks. They might have stepped up to thee more +straightforwardly, and told thee the trade ill suiteth thee, having +little fire, little fantasy, and little learning. Furthermore, that one +poet, as one bull, sufficeth for two parishes, and that where they are +stuck too close together they are apt to fire, like haystacks. I have +known it myself; I have had my malignants and scoffers.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I never could have thought it!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“There again! Another proof of thy inexperience.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Mat Atterend! Mat Atterend! where wert thou sleeping?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I shall now from my own stores impart unto thee what will avail to tame +thee, shewing the utter hopelessness of standing on that golden +weathercock which supporteth but one at a time. + +“The passion for poetry wherewith Monsieur Dubois would have inspired me, +as he was bound to do, being paid beforehand, had cold water thrown upon +it by that unlucky one, Sir Everard. He ridiculed the idea of male and +female rhymes, and the necessity of trying them as rigidly by the eye as +by the ear,—saying to Monsieur Dubois that the palate, in which the +French excel all mortals, ought also to be consulted in their acceptance +or rejection. Monsieur Dubois told us that if we did not wish to be +taught French verse, he would teach us English. Sir Everard preferred +the Greek; but Monsieur Dubois would not engage to teach the mysteries of +that poetry in fewer than thirty lessons,—having (since his misfortunes) +forgotten the letters and some other necessaries. + +“The first poem I ever wrote was in the character of a shepherd, to +Mistress Anne Nanfan, daughter of Squire Fulke Nanfan, of Worcestershire, +at that time on a visit to the worshipful family of Compton at Long +Compton. + +“We were young creatures,—I but twenty-four and seven months (for it was +written on the 14th of May), and she well-nigh upon a twelve-month +younger. My own verses, the first, are neither here nor there; indeed, +they were imbedded in solid prose, like lampreys and ram’s-horns {181a} +in our limestone, and would be hard to get out whole. What they are may +be seen by her answer, all in verse:— + + “‘Faithful shepherd! dearest Tommy! + I have received the letter from ye, + And mightily delight therein. + But mother, _she_ says, “Nanny! Nanny! + _How_, _being staid and prudent_, _can ye_ + _Think of a man and not of sin_?” + + “‘Sir shepherd! I held down my head, + And “_Mother_! _fie_, _for shame_!” I said; + All I could say would not content her; + Mother she would for ever harp on’t, + “_A man’s no better than a sarpent_, + _And not a crumb more innocenter_.”’ + +“I know not how it happeneth; but a poet doth open before a poet, albeit +of baser sort. It is not that I hold my poetry to be better than some +other in time past, it is because I would shew thee that I was virtuous +and wooed virtuously, that I repeat it. Furthermore, I wished to leave a +deep impression on the mother’s mind that she was exceedingly wrong in +doubting my innocence.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Gracious Heaven! and was this too doubted?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Maybe not; but the whole race of men, the whole male sex, wanted and +found in me a protector. I shewed her what I was ready to do.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Perhaps, sir, it was for that very thing that she put the daughter back +and herself forward.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I say not so; but thou mayest know as much as befitteth, by what +follows:— + + “‘Worshipful lady! honoured madam! + I at this present truly glad am + To have so fair an opportunity + Of saying I would be the man + To bind in wedlock Mistress Anne, + Living with her in holy unity. + + “‘And for a jointure I will gi’e her + A good two hundred pounds a year + Accruing from my landed rents, + Whereof see t’other paper, telling + Lands, copses, and grown woods for felling, + Capons, and cottage tenements. + + “‘And who must come at sound of horn, + And who pays but a barley-corn, + And who is bound to keep a whelp, + And what is brought me for the pound, + And copyholders, which are sound, + And which do need the leech’s help. + + “‘And you may see in these two pages + Exact their illnesses and ages, + Enough (God willing) to content ye; + Who looks full red, who looks full yellow, + Who plies the mullen, who the mallow, + Who fails at fifty, who at twenty. + + “‘Jim Yates must go; he’s one day very hot, + And one day ice; I take a heriot; + And poorly, poorly’s Jacob Burgess. + The doctor tells me he has pour’d + Into his stomach half his hoard + Of anthelminticals and purges. + + “‘Judith, the wife of Ebenezer + Fillpots, won’t have him long to tease her; + Fillpots blows hot and cold like Jim, + And, sleepless lest the boys should plunder + His orchard, he must soon knock under; + Death has been looking out for him. + + “‘He blusters; but his good yard land + Under the church, his ale-house, and + His Bible, which he cut in spite, + Must all fall in; he stamps and swears + And sets his neighbours by the ears— + Fillpots, thy saddle sits not tight!’ + +“The epitaph is ready:— + + “‘_Here_ + _Lies one whom all his friends did fear_ + _More than they ever feared the Lord_; + _In peace he was at times a Christian_; + _In strife_, _what stubborner Philistine_! + _Sing_, _sing his psalm with one accord_. + + “‘And he who lent my lord his wife + Has but a very ticklish life; + Although she won him many a hundred, + ’T won’t do; none comes with briefs and wills, + And all her gainings are gilt pills + From the sick madman that she plundered. + + “‘And the brave lad who sent the bluff + Olive-faced Frenchman (sure enough) + Screaming and scouring like a plover, + Must follow—him I mean who dash’d + Into the water and then thrash’d + The cullion past the town of Dover. + + “‘But first there goes the blear old dame + Who nurs’d me; you have heard her name, + No doubt, at Compton, Sarah Salways; + There are twelve groats at once, beside + The frying-pan in which she fried + Her pancakes. + + Madam, I am always, etc., + + Sir THOMAS LUCY, Knight.’ + +“I did believe that such a clear and conscientious exposure of my affairs +would have brought me a like return. My letter was sent back to me with +small courtesy. It may be there was no paper in the house, or none +equalling mine in whiteness. No notice was taken of the rent-roll; but +between the second and third stanza these four lines were written, in a +very fine hand:— + + “‘Most honour’d knight, Sir Thomas! two + For merry Nan will never do; + Now under favour let me say ’t, + She will bring more herself than that.’ + +I have reason to believe that the worthy lady did neither write nor +countenance the same, perhaps did not ever know of them. She always had +at her elbow one who jogged it when he listed, and although he could not +overrule the daughter, he took especial care that none other should +remove her from his tutelage, even when she had fairly grown up to +woman’s estate. + +“Now, after all this condescension and confidence, promise me, good lad, +promise that thou wilt not edge and elbow me. Never let it be said, when +people say, _Sir Thomas was a poet when he will edit_,—_So is Bill +Shakspeare_! It beseemeth not that our names do go together cheek by +jowl in this familiar fashion, like an old beagle and a whelp, in +couples, where if the one would, the other would not.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“Sir, while these thoughts are passing in your mind, remember there is +another pair of couples out of which it would be as well to keep the +cur’s neck.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Young man! dost thou understand Master Silas?” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“But too well. Not those couples in which it might be apprehended that +your worship and my unworthiness should appear too close together; but +those sorrowfuller which peradventure might unite Master Silas and me in +our road to Warwick and upwards. But I resign all right and title unto +these as willingly as I did unto the other, and am as ready to let him go +alone.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“If we keep wheeling and wheeling, like a flock of pigeons, and rising +again when we are within a foot of the ground, we shall never fill the +craw.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Do thou then question him, Silas.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“I am none of the quorum; the business is none of mine.” + +Then Sir Thomas took Master Silas again into the bay window, and said +softly,— + +“Silas, he hath no inkling of thy meaning. The business is a ticklish +one. I like not overmuch to meddle and make therein.” + +Master Silas stood dissatisfied awhile, and then answered,— + +“The girl’s mother, sir, was housemaid and sempstress in your own family, +time back, and you thereby have a right over her unto the third and +fourth generation.” + +“I may have, Silas,” said his worship, “but it was no longer than four or +five years agone that folks were fain to speak maliciously of me for only +finding my horse in her hovel.” + +Sir Silas looked red and shiny as a ripe strawberry on a Snitterfield +tile, and answered somewhat peevishly,— + +“The same folks, I misgive me, may find the rogue’s there any night in +the week.” + +Whereunto replied Sir Thomas, mortifiedly, + +“I cannot think it, Silas! I cannot think it.” + +And after some hesitation and disquiet,— + +“Nay, I am resolved I will not think it; no man, friend or enemy, shall +push it into me.” + +“Worshipful sir,” answered Master Silas, “I am as resolute as any one in +what I would think and what I would not think, and never was known to +fight dunghill in either cockpit. + +“Were he only out of the way, she might do duty, but what doth she now? + +“She points his young beard for him; persuading him it grows thicker and +thicker, blacker and blacker; she washes his ruff, stiffens it, plaits +it, tries it upon his neck, removes the hair from under it, pinches it +with thumb and fore-finger, pretending that he hath moiled it, puts her +hand all the way round it, _setting it to rights_, as she calleth it— + +“Ah, Sir Thomas! a louder whistle than that will never call her back +again when she is off with him.” + +Sir Thomas was angered, and cried tartly,— + +“Who whistled? I would know.” + +Master Silas said submissively,— + +“Your honour, as wrongfully I fancied.” + +“Wrongfully, indeed, and to my no small disparagement and discomfort,” +said the knight, verily believing that he had not whistled; for deep and +dubious were his cogitations. + +“I protest,” went he on to say, “I protest it was the wind of the +casement; and if I live another year I will put a better in the place of +it. Whistle indeed—for what? I care no more about her than about an +unfledged cygnet,—a child, {189a} a chicken, a mere kitten, a +crab-blossom in the hedge.” + +The dignity of his worship was wounded by Master Silas unaware, and his +wrath again turned suddenly upon poor William. + +“Hark-ye, knave! hark-ye again, ill-looking stripling, lanky from vicious +courses! I will reclaim thee from them; I will do what thy own father +would, and cannot. Thou shalt follow his business.” + +“I cannot do better, may it please your worship!” said the lad. + +“It shall lead thee unto wealth and respectability,” said the knight, +somewhat appeased by his ready compliancy and low, gentle voice. “Yea, +but not here,—no witches, no wantons (this word fell gravely and at +full-length upon the ear), no spells hereabout. + +“Gloucestershire is within a measured mile of thy dwelling. There is one +at Bristol, formerly a parish-boy, or little better, who now writeth +himself _gentleman_ in large, round letters, and hath been elected, I +hear, to serve as burgess in parliament for his native city; just as +though he had eaten a capon or turkey-poult in his youth, and had +actually been at grammar school and college. When he began, he had not +credit for a goat-skin; and now, behold ye! this very coat upon my back +did cost me eight shillings the dearer for him, he bought up wool so +largely.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“May it please your worship! if my father so ordereth, I go cheerfully.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Thou art grown discreet and dutiful. I am fain to command thy release, +taking thy promise on oath, and some reasonable security, that thou wilt +abstain and withhold in future from that idle and silly slut, that sly +and scoffing giggler, Hannah Hathaway, with whom, to the heartache of thy +poor, worthy father, thou wantonly keepest company.” + +Then did Sir Thomas ask Master Silas Gough for the Book of Life, bidding +him deliver it into the right hand of Billy, with an eye upon him that he +touch it with both lips,—it being taught by the Jesuits, and caught too +greedily out of their society and communion, that whoso toucheth it with +one lip only, and thereafter sweareth falsely, cannot be called a +perjurer, since perjury is breaking an oath. But breaking half an oath, +as he doth who toucheth the Bible or crucifix with one lip only, is no +more perjury than breaking an eggshell is breaking an egg, the shell +being a part, and the egg being an integral. + +William did take the Holy Book with all due reverence the instant it was +offered to his hand. His stature seemed to rise therefrom as from a +pulpit, and Sir Thomas was quite edified. + +“Obedient and conducible youth!” said he. “See there, Master Silas! what +hast thou now to say against him? Who sees farthest?” + +“The man from the gallows is the most likely, bating his nightcap and +blinker,” said Master Silas, peevishly. “He hath not outwitted me yet.” + +“He seized upon the Anchor of Faith like a martyr,” said Sir Thomas, “and +even now his face burns red as elder-wine before the gossips.” + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“I await the further orders of your worship from the chair.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“I return and seat myself.” + +And then did Sir Thomas say with great complacency and satisfaction in +the ear of Master Silas,— + +“What civility, and deference, and sedateness of mind, Silas!” + +But Master Silas answered not. + + WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +“Must I swear, sirs?” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Yea, swear; be of good courage. I protest to thee by my honour and +knighthood, no ill shall come unto thee therefrom. Thou shalt not be +circumvented in thy simpleness and inexperience.” + +Willy, having taken the Book of Life, did kiss it piously, and did press +it unto his breast, saying, + +“Tenderest love is the growth of my heart, as the grass is of Alvescote +mead. + +“May I lose my life or my friends, or my memory, or my reason; may I be +viler in my own eyes than those men are—” + +Here he was interrupted, most lovingly, by Sir Thomas, who said unto +him,— + +“Nay, nay, nay! poor youth! do not tell me so! they are not such very bad +men, since thou appealest unto Cæsar,—that is, unto the judgment-seat.” + +Now his worship did mean the two witnesses, Joseph and Euseby; and, sooth +to say there be many worse. But William had them not in his eye; his +thoughts were elsewhere, as will be evident, for he went on thus:— + +“—if ever I forget or desert thee, or ever cease to worship {193a} and +cherish thee, my Hannah!” + + SIR SILAS. + +“The madman! the audacious, desperate, outrageous villain! Look-ye, sir! +where he flung the Holy Gospel! Behold it on the holly and box boughs in +the chimney-place, spreaden all abroad, like a lad about to be whipped!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Miscreant knave! I will send after him forthwith! + +“Ho, there! is the caitiff at hand, or running off?” + +Jonas Greenfield the butler did budge forward after a while, and say, on +being questioned,— + +“Surely, that was he! Was his nag tied to the iron gate at the lodge, +Master Silas?” + + SIR SILAS. + +“What should I know about a thief’s nag, Jonas Greenfield?” + +“And didst thou let him go, Jonas,—even thou?” said Sir Thomas. “What! +are none found faithful?” + +“Lord love your worship,” said Jonas Greenfield; “a man of threescore and +two may miss catching a kite upon wing. Fleetness doth not make folks +the faithfuller, or that youth yonder beats us all in faithfulness. + +“Look! he darts on like a greyhound whelp after a leveret. He, sure +enough, it was! I now remember the sorrel mare his father bought of John +Kinderley last Lammas, swift as he threaded the trees along the park. He +must have reached Wellesbourne ere now at that gallop, and pretty nigh +Walton-hill.” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“Merciful Christ! grant the country be rid of him for ever! What +dishonour upon his friends and native town! A reputable wool-stapler’s +son turned gipsy and poet for life.” + + SIR SILAS. + +“A Beelzebub; he spake as bigly and fiercely as a soaken yeoman at an +election feast,—this obedient and conducible youth!” + + SIR THOMAS. + +“It was so written. Hold thy peace, Silas!” + + LAUS DEO. + + E. B. + + + +POST-SCRIPTUM +BY ME, EPHRAIM BARNETT. + + +Twelve days are over and gone since William Shakspeare did leave our +parts. And the spinster, Hannah Hathaway, is in sad doleful plight about +him; forasmuch as Master Silas Cough went yesterday unto her, in her +mother’s house at Shottery, and did desire both her and her mother to +take heed and be admonished, that if ever she, Hannah, threw away one +thought after the runagate William Shakspeare, he should swing. + +The girl could do nothing but weep; while as the mother did give her +solemn promise that her daughter should never more think about him all +her natural life, reckoning from the moment of this her promise. + +And the maiden, now growing more reasonable, did promise the same. But +Master Silas said, + +“_I doubt you will_, _though_.” + +“_No_,” said the mother, “_I answer for her she shall not think of him_, +_even if she see his ghost_.” + +Hannah screamed, and swooned, the better to forget him. And Master Silas +went home easier and contenteder. For now all the worst of his hard duty +was accomplished,—he having been, on the Wednesday of last week, at the +speech of Master John Shakspeare, Will’s father, to inquire whether the +sorrel mare was his. To which question the said Master John Shakspeare +did answer, “_Yea_.” + +“_Enough said_!” rejoined Master Silas. + +“_Horse-stealing is capital_. _We shall bind thee over to appear against +the culprit_, _as prosecutor_, _at the next assizes_.” + +May the Lord in his mercy give the lad a good deliverance, if so be it be +no sin to wish it! + +_October_ 1, A.D. 1582. + + LAUS DEO. + + + + +A CONFERENCE +OF +MASTER EDMUND SPENSER, +A GENTLEMAN OF NOTE, +WITH +THE EARL OF ESSEX, +TOUCHING +THE STATE OF IRELAND. + + + ANNO DOM. 1598. + + + +PREFACE. + + +TO the same worthy man who preserved the _Examination of Shakspeare_, we +are indebted for what he entitles on the cover, _A Conference of Master +Edmund Spenser_, _etc._, _with the Earl of Essex_. It must be confessed +that this Conference throws little light upon the great rebellion of +Ireland. Nevertheless, there are some curious minds, which perhaps may +take an interest in the conversation of two illustrious men, one +distinguished by his genius, the other by the favour of his sovereign. +The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little practised in the ways of +literature; much less is he gifted with that prophetic spirit which can +anticipate the judgment of the public. It may be that he is too idle or +too apathetic to think anxiously or much about the matter; and yet he has +been amused, in his earlier days, at watching the first appearance of +such few books as he believed to be the production of some powerful +intellect. He has seen people slowly rise up to them, like carp in a +pond when food is thrown among them; some of which carp snatch suddenly +at a morsel, and swallow it; others touch it gently with their barbe, +pass deliberately by, and leave it; others wriggle and rub against it +more disdainfully; others, in sober truth, know not what to make of it, +swim round and round it, eye it on the sunny side, eye it on the shady, +approach it, question it, shoulder it, flap it with the tail, turn it +over, look askance at it, take a pea-shell or a worm instead of it, and +plunge again their contented heads into the comfortable mud; after some +seasons the same food will suit their stomachs better. + +The Editor has seen all this, and been an actor in it, whether at +Chantilly or Fontainebleau is indifferent to the reader; and it has +occurred to him that Shakspeare and Spenser were thrown among such carp, +and began to be relished (the worst, of course, first) after many years. +He is certain that these two publications can interest only the antiquary +and biographer; enough if even such find their account in them. + + * * * * * + +IT happened by mere accident that so obscure a man as Ephraim Barnett, +with no peculiar zeal for genius, and with no other scope or intention +than a lesson for his descendants, has preserved an authentic memorial of +the principal event both in the life of Shakspeare and of Spenser; the +one event was very near the cause of terminating Shakspeare’s, the other +did terminate Spenser’s. He accounts for his knowledge of the facts +naturally enough, as those will readily admit who have the patience to +read his paper on the subject. It would be inhumane in the Editor to ask +any of it for himself, when it is about to undergo such an exertion. + + + +ESSEX AND SPENSER. + + + ESSEX. + +“INSTANTLY on hearing of thy arrival from Ireland I sent a message to +thee, good Edmund, that I might learn from one so judicious and +dispassionate as thou art, the real state of things in that distracted +country,—it having pleased the queen’s majesty to think of appointing me +her deputy, in order to bring the rebellious to submission.” + + SPENSER. + +“Wisely and well considered; but more worthily of her judgment than her +affection. May your lordship overcome, as you have ever done, the +difficulties and dangers you foresee.” + + ESSEX. + +“We grow weak by striking at random; and knowing that I must strike, and +strike heavily, I would fain see exactly where the stroke shall fall. + +“Some attribute to the Irish all sorts of excesses; others tell us that +these are old stories; that there is not a more inoffensive race of merry +creatures under heaven, and that their crimes are all hatched for them +here in England, by the incubation of printers’ boys, and are brought to +market at times of distressing dearth in news. From all that I myself +have seen of them, I can only say that the civilized (I mean the richer +and titled) are as susceptible of heat as iron, and as impenetrable to +light as granite. The half-barbarous are probably worse; the utterly +barbarous may be somewhat better. Like game-cocks, they must spur when +they meet. One fights because he fights an Englishman; another because +the fellow he quarrels with comes from a distant county; a third because +the next parish is an eyesore to him, and his fist-mate is from it. The +only thing in which they all agree as proper law is the tooth-for-tooth +act. Luckily we have a bishop who is a native, and we called him before +the queen. He represented to her majesty that every thing in Old Ireland +tended to re-produce its kind,—crimes among others; and he declared, +frankly, that if an honest man is murdered, or what is dearer to an +honest man, if his honour is wounded in the person of his wife, it must +be expected that he will retaliate. Her Majesty delivered it as her +opinion that the latter case of vindictiveness was more likely to take +effect than the former. But the bishop replied that in his conscience he +could not answer for either if the man was up. The dean of the same +diocese gave us a more favorable report. Being a justice of the peace, +he averred most solemnly that no man ever had complained to him of +murder, excepting one who had lost so many fore-teeth by a cudgel that +his deposition could not be taken exactly,—added to which, his head was a +little clouded with drunkenness; furthermore, that extremely few women +had adduced sufficiently clear proofs of violence, excepting those who +were wilful and resisted with tooth and nail. In all which cases it was +difficult, nay impossible, to ascertain which violence began first and +lasted longest. + +“There is not a nation upon earth that pretends to be so superlatively +generous and high-minded; and there is not one (I speak from experience) +so utterly base and venal. I have positive proof that the nobility, in a +mass, are agreed to sell, for a stipulated sum, all their rights and +privileges, so much per man; and the queen is inclined thereunto. But +would our parliament consent to pay money for a cargo of rotten +pilchards? And would not our captains be readier to swamp than to import +them? The noisiest rogues in that kingdom, if not quieted by a halter, +may be quieted by making them brief-collectors, and by allowing them +first to encourage the incendiary, then to denounce and hang him, and +lastly to collect all the money they can, running up and down with the +whining ferocity of half-starved hyenas, under pretence of repairing the +damages their exhausted country hath sustained. Others ask modestly a +few thousands a year, and no more, from those whom they represent to us +as naked and famished; and prove clearly to every dispassionate man who +hath a single drop of free blood in his veins that at least this pittance +is due to them for abandoning their liberal and lucrative professions, +and for endangering their valuable lives on the tempestuous seas, in +order that the voice of Truth may sound for once upon the shores of +England, and Humanity cast her shadow on the council-chamber. + +“I gave a dinner to a party of these fellows a few weeks ago. I know not +how many kings and princes were amongst them, nor how many poets, and +prophets, and legislators, and sages. When they were half-drunk, they +coaxed and threatened; when they had gone somewhat deeper, they joked, +and croaked, and hiccoughed, and wept over sweet Ireland; and when they +could neither stand nor sit any longer, they fell upon their knees and +their noddles, and swore that limbs, life, liberty, Ireland, and God +himself, were all at the queen’s service. It was only their holy +religion, the religion of their forefathers— Here sobs interrupted some, +howls others, execrations more, and the liquor they had ingulfed, the +rest. I looked down on them with stupor and astonishment, seeing faces, +forms, dresses, much like ours, and recollecting their ignorance, levity, +and ferocity. My pages drew them gently by the heels down the steps; my +grooms set them upright (inasmuch as might be) on their horses; and the +people in the streets, shouting and pelting, sent forward the beasts to +their straw. + +“Various plans have been laid before us for civilising or coercing them. +Among the pacific, it was proposed to make an offer to five-hundred of +the richer Jews in the Hanse-towns and in Poland, who should be raised to +the dignity of the Irish peerage, and endowed with four thousand acres of +good forfeited land, on condition of each paying two thousand pounds, and +of keeping up ten horsemen and twenty foot, Germans or Poles, in +readiness for service. + +“The Catholics bear no where such ill-will toward Jews as toward +Protestants. Brooks make even worse neighbours than oceans do. + +“I myself saw no objection to the measure; but our gracious queen +declared she had an insuperable one—_they stank_! We all acknowledged +the strength of the argument, and took out our handkerchiefs. Lord +Burleigh almost fainted; and Raleigh wondered how the Emperor Titus could +bring up his men against Jerusalem. + +“‘Ah!’ said he, looking reverentially at her Majesty, ‘the star of +Berenice shone above him! and what evil influence could that star not +quell? what malignancy could it not annihilate?’ + +“Hereupon he touched the earth with his brow, until the queen said,— + +“‘Sir Walter! lift me up those laurels.’ + +“At which manifestation of princely goodwill he was advancing to kiss her +Majesty’s hand, but she waved it, and said, sharply,— + +“‘Stand there, dog!’ + +“Now what tale have you for us?” + + SPENSER. + +“Interrogate me, my lord, that I may answer each question distinctly, my +mind being in sad confusion at what I have seen and undergone.” + + ESSEX. + +“Give me thy account and opinion of these very affairs as thou leftest +them; for I would rather know one part well than all imperfectly; and the +violences of which I have heard within the day surpass belief. + +“Why weepest thou, my gentle Spenser? Have the rebels sacked thy house?” + + SPENSER. + +“They have plundered and utterly destroyed it.” + + ESSEX. + +“I grieve for thee, and will see thee righted.” + + SPENSER. + +“In this they have little harmed me.” + + ESSEX. + +“Howl I have heard it reported that thy grounds are fertile and thy +mansion {211} large and pleasant.” + + SPENSER. + +“If river, and lake, and meadow-ground, and mountain, could render any +place the abode of pleasantness, pleasant was mine, indeed! + +“On the lovely banks of Mulla I found deep contentment. Under the dark +alders did I muse and meditate. Innocent hopes were my gravest cares, +and my playfullest fancy was with kindly wishes. Ah! surely, of all +cruelties the worst is to extinguish our kindness. Mine is gone: I love +the people and the land no longer. My lord, ask me not about them; I may +speak injuriously.” + + ESSEX. + +“Think rather, then, of thy happier hours and busier occupations; these +likewise may instruct me.” + + SPENSER. + +“The first seeds I sowed in the garden, ere the old castle was made +habitable for my lovely bride, were acorns from Penshurst. I planted a +little oak before my mansion at the birth of each child. ‘My sons,’ I +said to myself, ‘shall often play in the shade of them when I am gone, +and every year shall they take the measure of their growth, as fondly as +I take theirs.’” + + ESSEX. + +“Well, well; but let not this thought make thee weep so bitterly.” + + SPENSER. + +“Poison may ooze from beautiful plants; deadly grief from dearest +reminiscences. + +“I _must_ grieve, I _must_ weep; it seems the law of God, and the only +one that men are not disposed to contravene. In the performance of this +alone do they effectually aid one another.” + + ESSEX. + +“Spenser! I wish I had at hand any arguments or persuasions of force +sufficient to remove thy sorrow; but really I am not in the habit of +seeing men grieve at any thing except the loss of favour at court, or of +a hawk, or of a buck-hound. And were I to swear out my condolences to a +man of thy discernment, in the same round, roll-call phrases we employ +with one another upon these occasions, I should be guilty, not of +insincerity, but of insolence. True grief hath ever something sacred in +it, and when it visiteth a wise man and a brave one, is most holy. + +“Nay, kiss not my hand; he whom God smiteth hath God with him. In his +presence what am I?” + + SPENSER. + +“Never so great, my lord, as at this hour, when you see aright who is +greater. May He guide your counsels, and preserve your life and glory!” + + ESSEX. + +“Where are thy friends? Are they with thee?” + + SPENSER. + +“Ah, where indeed? Generous, true-hearted Philip! where art thou? whose +presence was unto me peace and safety, whose smile was contentment, and +whose praise renown. My lord! I cannot but think of him among still +heavier losses; he was my earliest friend, and would have taught me +wisdom.” + + ESSEX. + +“Pastoral poetry, my dear Spenser, doth not require tears and +lamentations. Dry thine eyes; rebuild thine house. The queen and +council, I venture to promise thee, will make ample amends for every evil +thou hast sustained. What! does that enforce thee to wail yet louder?” + + SPENSER. + +“Pardon me, bear with me, most noble heart! I have lost what no council, +no queen, no Essex can restore.” + + ESSEX. + +“We will see that! There are other swords, and other arms to wield them, +besides a Leicester’s and a Raleigh’s. Others can crush their enemies +and serve their friends.” + + SPENSER. + +“O my sweet child! And of many so powerful, many so wise and so +beneficent, was there none to save thee? None! none!” + + ESSEX. + +“I now perceive that thou lamentest what almost every father is destined +to lament. Happiness must be bought, although the payment may be +delayed. Consider; the same calamity might have befallen thee here in +London. Neither the houses of ambassadors, nor the palaces of kings, nor +the altars of God himself, are asylums against death. How do I know but +under this very roof there may sleep some latent calamity, that in an +instant shall cover with gloom every inmate of the house, and every far +dependent?” + + SPENSER. + +“God avert it!” + + ESSEX. + +“Every day, every hour of the year, do hundreds mourn what thou +mournest.” + + SPENSER. + +“Oh, no, no, no! Calamities there are around us; calamities there are +all over the earth; calamities there are in all seasons; but none in any +season, none in any place, like mine.” + + ESSEX. + +“So say all fathers, so say all husbands. Look at any old mansion-house, +and let the sun shine as gloriously as it may on the golden vanes, or the +arms recently quartered over the gateway, or the embayed window, and on +the happy pair that haply is toying at it; nevertheless, thou mayest say +that of a certainty the same fabric hath seen much sorrow within its +chambers, and heard many wailings; and each time this was the heaviest +stroke of all. Funerals have passed along through the stout-hearted +knights upon the wainscot, and amidst the laughing nymphs upon the arras. +Old servants have shaken their heads, as if somebody had deceived them, +when they found that beauty and nobility could perish. + +“Edmund! the things that are too true pass by us as if they were not true +at all; and when they have singled us out, then only do they strike us. +Thou and I must go too. Perhaps the next year may blow us away with its +fallen leaves.” {217} + + SPENSER. + +“For you, my lord, many years (I trust) are waiting; I never shall see +those fallen leaves. No leaf, no bud will spring upon the earth before I +sink into her breast for ever.” + + ESSEX. + +“Thou, who art wiser than most men, shouldst bear with patience, +equanimity, and courage, what is common to all.” + + SPENSER. + +“Enough! enough! enough! Have all men seen their infant burnt to ashes +before their eyes?” + + + +MEMORANDUM BY EPHRAIM BARNETT. + + + WRITTEN UPON THE INNER COVER. + +STUDYING the benefit and advantage of such as by God’s blessing may come +after me, and willing to shew them the highways of Providence from the +narrow by-lane in the which it hath been his pleasure to station me, and +being now advanced full-nigh unto the close and consummation of my +earthly pilgrimage, methinks I cannot do better, at this juncture, than +preserve the looser and lesser records of those who have gone before me +in the same, with higher heel-piece to their shoe and more polished +scallop to their beaver. And here, beforehand, let us think gravely and +religiously on what the pagans, in their blindness, did call fortune, +making a goddess of her, and saying,— + + “One body she lifts up so high + And suddenly, she makes him cry + And scream as any wench might do + That you should play the rogue unto. + And the same Lady Light sees good + To drop another in the mud, + Against all hope and likelihood.” {221} + +My kinsman, Jacob Eldridge, having been taught by me, among other useful +things, to write a fair and laudable hand, was recommended and introduced +by our worthy townsman, Master Thomas Greene, unto the Earl of Essex, to +keep his accounts, and to write down sundry matters from his dictation, +even letters occasionally. For although our nobility, very unlike the +French, not only can read and write, but often do, yet some from +generosity, and some from dignity, keep in their employment what those +who are illiterate, and would not appear so, call an _amanuensis_, +thereby meaning _secretary_ or _scribe_. Now it happened that our +gracious queen’s highness was desirous of knowing all that could be known +about the Rebellion in Ireland; and hearing but little truth from her +nobility in that country, even the fathers in God inclining more unto +court favour than will be readily believed of spiritual lords, and +moulding their ductile depositions on the pasteboard of their temporal +mistress, until she was angry at seeing the lawn-sleeves so besmirched +from wrist to elbow, she herself did say unto the Earl of Essex,— + +“Essex! these fellows lie! I am inclined to unfrock and scourge them +sorely for their leasings. Of that anon. Find out, if you can, somebody +who hath his wit and his honesty about him at the same time. I know that +when one of these paniers is full the other is apt to be empty, and that +men walk crookedly for want of balance. No matter—we must search and +find. Persuade—thou canst persuade, Essex!—say any thing, do any thing. +We must talk gold and give—iron. Dost understand me?” + +The earl did kiss the jewels upon the dread fingers, for only the last +joint of each is visible; and surely no mortal was ever so foolhardy as +to take such a monstrous liberty as touching it, except in spirit! On +the next day there did arrive many fugitives from Ireland; and among the +rest was Master Edmund Spenser, known even in those parts for his rich +vein of poetry, in which he is declared by our best judges to excel the +noblest of the ancients, and to leave all the moderns at his feet. +Whether he notified his arrival unto the earl, or whether fame brought +the notice thereof unto his lordship, Jacob knoweth not. But early in +the morrow did the earl send for Jacob, and say unto him,— + +“Eldridge! thou must write fairly and clearly out, and in somewhat large +letters, and in lines somewhat wide apart, all that thou hearest of the +conversation I shall hold with a gentleman from Ireland. Take this gilt +and illumined vellum, and albeit the civet make thee sick fifty times, +write upon it all that passes! Come not out of the closet until the +gentleman hath gone homeward. The queen requireth much exactness; and +this is equally a man of genius, a man of business, and a man of worth. +I expect from him not only what is true, but what is the most important +and necessary to understand rightly and completely; and nobody in +existence is more capable of giving me both information and advice. +Perhaps if he thought another were within hearing he would be offended or +over-cautious. His delicacy and mine are warranted safe and sound by the +observance of those commands which I am delivering unto thee.” + +It happened that no information was given in this conference relating to +the movements or designs of the rebels. So that Master Jacob Eldridge +was left possessor of the costly vellum, which, now Master Spenser is +departed this life, I keep as a memorial of him, albeit oftener than once +I have taken pounce box and penknife in hand, in order to make it a fit +and proper vehicle for my own very best writing. But I pretermitted it, +finding that my hand is no longer the hand it was, or rather that the +breed of geese is very much degenerated, and that their quills, like +men’s manners, are grown softer and flaccider. Where it will end God +only knows; I shall not live to see it. + +Alas, poor Jacob Eldridge! he little thought that within twelve months +his glorious master, and the scarcely less glorious poet, would be no +more! In the third week of the following year was Master Edmund buried +at the charges of the earl; and within these few days hath this lofty +nobleman bowed his head under the axe of God’s displeasure,—such being +our gracious queen’s. My kinsman Jacob sent unto me by the Alcester +drover, old Clem Fisher, this, among other papers, fearing the wrath of +that offended highness which allowed not her own sweet disposition to +question or thwart the will divine. Jacob did likewise tell me in his +letter that he was sure I should be happy to hear the success of William +Shakspeare, our townsman. And in truth right glad was I to hear of it, +being a principal in bringing it about, as those several sheets will shew +which have the broken tile laid upon them to keep them down compactly. + +Jacob’s words are these:— + +“Now I speak of poets, you will be in a maze at hearing that our townsman +hath written a power of matter for the playhouse. Neither he nor the +booksellers think it quite good enough to print; but I do assure you, on +the faith of a Christian, it is not bad; and there is rare fun in the +last thing of his about Venus, where a Jew, one Shiloh, is choused out of +his money and his revenge. However, the best critics and the greatest +lords find fault, and very justly, in the words,— + + “‘Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, + senses, affections, passions? fed with the same food, hurt with the + same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, + warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?’ + +“Surely, this is very unchristianlike. Nay, for supposition sake, +suppose it to be true, was it his business to tell the people so? Was it +his duty to ring the crier’s bell and cry to them, _The sorry Jews are +quite as much men as you are_? The impudentest thing (excepting some +bauderies) that ever came from the stage! The church, luckily, has let +him alone for the present; and the queen winks upon it. The best defence +he can make for himself is that it comes from the mouth of a Jew, who +says many other things as abominable. Master Greene may overrate him; +but Master Greene declares that if William goes on improving and taking +his advice, it will be desperate hard work in another seven years to find +so many as half a dozen chaps equal to him within the liberties. Master +Greene and myself took him with us to see the burial of Master Edmund +Spenser in Westminster Abbey, on the 19th of January last. The +halberdmen pushed us back as having no business there. Master Greene +told them he belonged to the queen’s company of players. William +Shakspeare could have said the same, but did not. And I, fearing that +Master Greene and he might be halberded back into the crowd, shewed the +badge of the Earl of Essex. Whereupon did the serjeant ground his +halberd, and say unto me,— + +“‘That badge commands admittance everywhere; your folk likewise may come +in.’ + +“Master Greene was red-hot angry, and told me he would bring him before +the _council_. + +“William smiled, and Master Greene said,— + +“‘Why! would not you, if you were in my place?’ + +“He replied,— + +“‘I am an half inclined to do worse,—to bring him before the _audience_ +some spare hour.’ + +“At the close of the burial-service all the poets of the age threw their +pens into the grave, together with the pieces they had composed in praise +or lamentation of the deceased. William Shakspeare was the only poet who +abstained from throwing in either pen or poem,—at which no one marvelled, +he being of low estate, and the others not having yet taken him by the +hand. Yet many authors recognised him, not indeed as author, but as +player; and one, civiller than the rest, came up unto him triumphantly, +his eyes sparkling with glee and satisfaction, and said, consolatorily,— + +“‘In due time, my honest friend, you may be admitted to do as much for +one of us.’ + +“‘After such encouragement,’ replied our townsman, ‘I am bound in duty to +give you the preference, should I indeed be worthy.’ + +“‘This was the only smart thing he uttered all the remainder of the day; +during the whole of it he appeared to be half-lost, I know not whether in +melancholy or in meditation, and soon left us.” + +Here endeth all that my kinsman Jacob wrote about William Shakspeare, +saving and excepting his excuse for having written so much. The rest of +his letter was on a matter of wider and weightier import, namely, on the +price of Cotteswolde cheese at Evesham fair. And yet, although ingenious +men be not among the necessaries of life, there is something in them that +makes us curious in regard to their goings and doings. It were to be +wished that some of them had attempted to be better accountants; and +others do appear to have laid aside the copybook full early in the day. +Nevertheless, they have their uses and their merits. Master Eldridge’s +letter is the wrapper of much wholesome food for contemplation. Although +the decease (within so brief a period) of such a poet as Master Spenser, +and such a patron as the earl, be unto us appalling, we laud and magnify +the great Disposer of events, no less for his goodness in raising the +humble than for his power in extinguishing the great. And peradventure +ye, my heirs and descendants, who shall read with due attention what my +pen now writeth, will say, with the royal Psalmist, that it inditeth of a +good matter, when it sheweth unto you that, whereas it pleased the +queen’s highness to send a great lord before the judgment-seat of Heaven, +having fitted him by means of such earthly instruments as princes in like +cases do usually employ, and deeming (no doubt) in her princely heart +that by such shrewd tonsure his head would be best fitted for a crown of +glory, and thus doing all that she did out of the purest and most +considerate love for him,—it likewise hath pleased her highness to use +her right hand as freely as her left, and to raise up a second burgess of +our town to be one of her company of players. And ye, also, by industry +and loyalty, may cheerfully hope for promotion in your callings, and come +up (some of you) as nearly to him in the presence of royalty, as he +cometh up (far off, indeed, at present) to the great and wonderful poet +who lies dead among more spices than any phœnix, and more quills than any +porcupine. If this thought may not prick and incitate you, little is to +be hoped from any gentle admonition, or any earnest expostulation, of + + Your loving friend and kinsman, + + E. B. + + ANNO ÆT. SUÆ 74, DOM. 1599, + DECEMB. 16; + GLORIA DP. DF. ET DSS. + AMOR VERSUS VIRGINEM REGINAM! + PROTESTANTICE LOQUOR ET HONESTO SENSU: + OBTESTOR CONSCIENTIAM MEAM! + + * * * * * + + PRINTED BY + SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE + LONDON + + + + +FOOTNOTES + + +{8a} Quicken, bring to life. + +{8b} Debtors were often let out of prison at the coronation of a new +king; but creditors never paid by him. + +{21a} The word here omitted is quite illegible. It appears to have some +reference to the language of the Highlanders. That it was rough and +outlandish is apparent from the reprimand of Sir Thomas. + +{29a} By this deposition it would appear that Shakspeare had formed the +idea, if not the outline, of several plays already, much as he altered +them, no doubt, in after life. + +{38a} The greater part of the value of the present work arises from the +certain information it affords us on the price of small needles in the +reign of Elizabeth. Fine needles in her days were made only at Liege, +and some few cities in the Netherlands, and may be reckoned among those +things which were much dearer than they are now. + +{39b} Mr. Tooke had not yet published his _Pantheon_. + +{44a} This was really the case within our memory. + +{45a} It was formerly thought, and perhaps is thought still, that the +hand of a man recently hanged, being rubbed on the tumour of the king’s +evil, was able to cure it. The crown and the gallows divided the glory +of the sovereign remedy. + +{46a} And yet he never did sail any farther than into Bohemia. + +{50a} _Smock_, formerly a part of the female dress, corresponding with +_shroud_, or what we now call (or lately called) _shirt_ of the man’s. +Fox, speaking of Latimer’s burning, says, “Being slipped into his +_shroud_.” + +{50b} Faith nailing the ears is a strong and sacred metaphor. The rhyme +is imperfect,—Shakspeare was not always attentive to these minor +beauties. + +{53a} Shakspeare seems to have profited afterward by this metaphor, even +more perhaps than by all the direct pieces of instruction in poetry given +him so handsomely by the worthy knight. And here it may be permitted the +editor to profit also by the manuscript, correcting in Shakspeare what is +absolute nonsense as now printed:— + + “_Vaulting_ ambition that o’erleaps _itself_.” + +It should be its _sell_. _Sell_ is _saddle_ in Spenser and elsewhere, +from the Latin and Italian. + +This emendation was shewn to the late Mr. Hazlitt, an acute man at least, +who expressed his conviction that it was the right reading, and added +somewhat more in approbation of it. + +{55a} It has been suggested that this answer was borrowed from Virgil, +and goes strongly against the genuineness of the manuscript. The +Editor’s memory was upon the stretch to recollect the words; the learned +critic supplied them:— + + “Solum Æneas vocat: _et vocet_, oro.” + +The Editor could only reply, indeed weakly, that _calling_ and _waiting_ +are not exactly the same, unless when tradesmen rap and gentlemen are +leaving town. + +{66a} Here the manuscript is blotted; but the probability is that it was +_fishmonger_, rather than _ironmonger_, fishmongers having always been +notorious cheats and liars. + +{70a} _On the nail_ appears to be intended to express _ready payment_. + +{72a} The Cordilleras are mountains, we know, running through South +America. Perhaps a pun was intended; or possibly it might, in the age of +Elizabeth, have been a vulgar term for _hanging_, although we find no +trace of the expression in other books. We have no clue to guide us +here. It might be suggested that Shakspeare, who shines little in +geographical knowledge, fancied the Cordilleras to extend into North +America, had convicts in his time been transported to those colonies. +Certainly, many adventurers and desperate men went thither. + +{89a} In that age there was prevalent a sort of cholera, on which +Fracastorius, half a century before, wrote a Latin poem, employing the +graceful nymphs of Homer and Hesiod, somewhat disguised, in the drudgery +of pounding certain barks and minerals. An article in the Impeachment of +Cardinal Wolsey accuses him of breathing in the king’s face, knowing that +he was affected with this cholera. It was a great assistant to the +Reformation, by removing some of the most vigorous champions that opposed +it. In the Holy College it was followed by the _sweating sickness_, +which thinned it very sorely; and several even of God’s vicegerents were +laid under tribulation by it. Among the chambers of the Vatican it hung +for ages, and it crowned the labours of Pope Leo XII., of blessed memory, +with a crown somewhat uneasy. + +{105a} Sir Thomas seems to have been jealous of these two towers, +certainly the finest in England. If Warwick Castle could borrow the +windows from Kenilworth, it would be complete. The knight is not very +courteous on its hospitality. He may, perhaps, have experienced it, as +Garrick and Quin did under the present occupant’s grandfather, on whom +the title of Earl of Warwick was conferred for the eminent services he +had rendered to his country as one of the lords of the bedchamber to his +Majesty George the Second. The verses of Garrick on his invitation and +visit are remembered by many. Quin’s are less known. + + He shewed us Guy’s pot, but the soup he forgot; + Not a meal did his lordship allow, + Unless we gnaw’d o’er the blade-bone of the boar, + Or the rib of the famous _Dun Cow_. + + When Nevile the great Earl of Warwick lived here, + Three oxen for breakfast were slain, + And strangers invited to sports and good cheer, + And invited again and again. + + This earl is in purse or in spirit so low, + That he with no oxen will feed ’em; + And all of the former great doings we know + Is, he gives us a book and we read ’em. + + GARRICK. + + _Stale_ peers are but tough morsels, and ’t were well + If we had found the _fresh_ more eatable; + Garrick! I do not say ’t were well for _him_, + For we had pluck’d the plover limb from limb. + + QUIN. + +{106a} Another untoward blot! but leaving no doubt of the word. The +only doubt is whether he meant the _muzzle_ of the animal itself, or one +of those leathern muzzles which are often employed to coerce the violence +of ferocious animals. In besieged cities men have been reduced to such +extremities. But the _muzzle_, in this place, we suspect, would more +properly be called the _blinker_, which is often put upon bulls in +pastures when they are vicious. + +{108a} This would countenance the opinion of those who are inclined to +believe that Shakspeare was a Roman Catholic. His hatred and contempt of +priests, which are demonstrated wherever he has introduced them, may have +originated from the unfairness of Silas Gough. Nothing of that kind, we +may believe, had occurred to him from friars and monks, whom he treats +respectfully and kindly, perhaps in return for some such services to +himself as Friar Lawrence had bestowed on Romeo,—or rather less; for +Shakspeare was grateful. The words quoted by him from some sermon, now +lost, prove him no friend to the filchings and swindling of popery. + +{111a} It is a pity that the old divines should have indulged, as they +often did, in such images as this. Some readers in search of +argumentative subtility, some in search of sound Christianity, some in +search of pure English undefiled, have gone through with them; and their +labours (however heavy) have been well repaid. + +{124a} _Tilley valley_ was the favourite adjuration of James the Second. +It appears in the comedies of Shakspeare. + +{133a} _Whoreson_, if we may hazard a conjecture, means the son of a +woman of ill-repute. In this we are borne out by the context. It +appears to have escaped the commentators on Shakspeare. + +_Whoreson_, a word of frequent occurrence in the comedies; more rarely +found in the tragedies. Although now obsolete, the expression proves +that there were (or were believed to be) such persons formerly. + +The Editor is indebted to two learned friends for these two remarks, +which appear no less just than ingenious. + +{153a} _Belly-ache_, a disorder once not uncommon in England. Even the +name is now almost forgotten; yet the elder of us may remember at least +the report of it, and some, perhaps, even the complaint itself, in our +school-days. It usually broke out about the cherry season; and in some +cases made its appearance again at the first nutting. + +{157a} Sir Thomas borrowed this expression from Spenser, who thus calls +Queen Elizabeth. + +{159a} Humboldt notices this. + +{164a} _Pragmatical_ here means only _precise_. + +{181a} It is doubtful whether Doctor Buckland will agree with Sir Thomas +that these petrifactions are ram’s-horns and lampreys. + +{189a} She was then twenty-eight years of age. Sir Thomas must have +spoken of her from earlier recollections. Shakspeare was in his +twentieth year. + +{193a} It is to be feared that his taste for venison outlasted that for +matrimony, spite of this vow. + +{211} It was purchased by a victualler and banker, the father or +grandfather of Lord Riversdale. + +{217} It happened so. + +{221} The editor has been unable to discover who was the author of this +very free translation of an Ode in Horace. He is certainly happy in his +amplification of the _stridore acuto_. May it not be surmised that he +was some favourite scholar of Ephraim Barnett? + + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF WILLIAM +SHAKSPEARE*** + + +******* This file should be named 5112-0.txt or 5112-0.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/1/1/5112 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of +the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at +www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have +to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. + + + + +Title: Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare + + +Author: Walter Savage Landor + + + +Release Date: February 9, 2015 [eBook #5112] +[This file was first posted on April 30, 2002] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE*** +</pre> +<p>Transcribed from the 1891 Chatto & Windus edition by David +Price, email ccx074@pglaf.org</p> +<h1>CITATION AND EXAMINATION<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">OF</span><br /> +William Shakspeare</h1> +<p style="text-align: center">EUSEBY TREEN JOSEPH CARNABY AND<br +/> +SILAS GOUGH <span class="smcap">Clerk</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">BEFORE THE +WORSHIPFUL</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center">SIR THOMAS LUCY <span +class="smcap">Knight</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center">TOUCHING DEER-STEELING</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall"><i>On the +Nineteenth Day of September in the Year of Grace +1582</i></span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">NOW FIRST +PUBLISHED FROM ORIGINAL PAPERS</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">TO WHICH IS +ADDED</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><b>A Conference of Master Edmund +Spenser</b><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">A GENTLEMAN OF NOTE</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">WITH</span><br /> +THE EARL OF ESSEX<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">TOUCHING THE STATE OF IRELAND A.D. +1595</span></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">BY</span><br +/> +WALTER SAVAGE LANDOR</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><b>London</b><br /> +CHATTO & WINDUS, PICCADILLY<br /> +1891</p> +<h2>EDITOR’S PREFACE.</h2> +<blockquote><p>“<span class="smcap">It</span> was an +ancestor of my husband who <i>brought out</i> the famous +Shakspeare.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>These words were really spoken, and were repeated in +conversation as most ridiculous. Certainly such was very +far from the lady’s intention; and who knows to what extent +they are true?</p> +<p>The frolic of Shakspeare in deer-stealing was the cause of his +<i>Hegira</i>; and his connection with players in London was the +cause of his writing plays. Had he remained in his native +town, his ambition had never been excited by the applause of the +intellectual, the popular, and the powerful, which, after all, +was hardly sufficient to excite it. He wrote from the same +motive as he acted,—to earn his daily bread. He felt +his own powers; but he cared little for making them felt by +others more than served his wants.</p> +<p>The malignant may doubt, or pretend to doubt, the authenticity +of the <i>Examination</i> here published. Let us, who are +not malignant, be cautious of adding anything to the noisome mass +of incredulity that surrounds us; let us avoid the crying sin of +our age, in which the “Memoirs of a Parish Clerk,” +edited as they were by a pious and learned dignitary of the +Established Church, are questioned in regard to their +genuineness; and even the privileges of Parliament are inadequate +to cover from the foulest imputation—the imputation of +having exercised his inventive faculties—the elegant and +accomplished editor of Eugene Aram’s apprehension, trial, +and defence.</p> +<p>Indeed, there is little of real history, excepting in +romances. Some of these are strictly true to nature; while +histories in general give a distorted view of her, and rarely a +faithful record either of momentous or of common events.</p> +<p>Examinations taken from the mouth are surely the most +trustworthy. Whoever doubts it may be convinced by Ephraim +Barnett.</p> +<p>The Editor is confident he can give no offence to any person +who may happen to bear the name of Lucy. The family of Sir +Thomas became extinct nearly half a century ago, and the estates +descended to the Rev. Mr. John Hammond, of Jesus College, in +Oxford, a respectable Welsh curate, between whom and him there +existed at his birth eighteen prior claimants. He took the +name of Lucy.</p> +<p>The reader will form to himself, from this “Examination +of Shakspeare,” more favourable opinion of Sir Thomas than +is left upon his mind by the dramatist in the character of +Justice Shallow. The knight, indeed, is here exhibited in +all his pride of birth and station, in all his pride of +theologian and poet; he is led by the nose, while he believes +that nobody can move him, and shows some other weaknesses, which +the least attentive observer will discover; but he is not without +a little kindness at the bottom of the heart,—a heart too +contracted to hold much, or to let what it holds ebulliate very +freely. But, upon the whole, we neither can utterly hate +nor utterly despise him. Ungainly as he is.—</p> +<blockquote><p style="text-align: center">Circum præcordia +ludit.</p> +</blockquote> +<p>The author of the “Imaginary Conversations” seems, +in his “Boccacio and Petrarca,” to have taken his +idea of <i>Sir Magnus</i> from this manuscript. He, +however, has adapted that character to the times; and in <i>Sir +Magnus</i> the coward rises to the courageous, the unskilful in +arms becomes the skilful, and war is to him a teacher of +humanity. With much superstition, theology never molests +him; scholarship and poetry are no affairs of his. He +doubts of himself and others, and is as suspicious in his +ignorance as Sir Thomas is confident.</p> +<p>With these wide diversities, there are family features, such +as are likely to display themselves in different times and +circumstances, and some so generically prevalent as never to lie +quite dormant in the breed. In both of them there is +parsimony, there is arrogance, there is contempt of inferiors, +there is abject awe of power, there is irresolution, there is +imbecility. But Sir Magnus has no knowledge, and no respect +for it. Sir Thomas would almost go thirty miles, even to +Oxford, to see a fine specimen of it, although, like most of +those who call themselves the godly, he entertains the most +undoubting belief that he is competent to correct the errors of +the wisest and most practised theologian.</p> +<h2>EDITOR’S APOLOGY.</h2> +<p>A <span class="smcap">part</span> only of the many +deficiencies which the reader will discover in this book is +attributable to the Editor. These, however, it is his duty +to account for, and he will do it as briefly as he can.</p> +<p>The <i>fac-similes</i> (as printers’ boys call them, +meaning <i>specimens</i>) of the handwriting of nearly all the +persons introduced, might perhaps have been procured had +sufficient time been allowed for another journey into +Warwickshire. That of Shakspeare is known already in the +signature to his will, but deformed by sickness; that of Sir +Thomas Lucy is extant at the bottom of a commitment of a female +vagrant, for having a sucking child in her arms on the public +road; that of Silas Gough is affixed to the register of births +and marriages, during several years, in the parishes of Hampton +Lucy and Charlecote, and certifies one death,—Euseby +Treen’s; surmised, at least, to be his by the letters +“E. T.” cut on a bench seven inches thick, under an +old pollard-oak outside the park paling of Charlecote, toward the +northeast. For this discovery the Editor is indebted to a +most respectable, intelligent farmer in the adjoining parish of +Wasperton, in which parish Treen’s elder brother lies +buried. The worthy farmer is unwilling to accept the large +portion of fame justly due to him for the services he has thus +rendered to literature in elucidating the history of Shakspeare +and his times. In possession of another agricultural +gentleman there was recently a very curious piece of iron, +believed by many celebrated antiquaries to have constituted a +part of a knight’s breast-plate. It was purchased for +two hundred pounds by the trustees of the British Museum, among +whom, the reader will be grieved to hear, it produced dissension +and coldness; several of them being of opinion that it was merely +a gorget, while others were inclined to the belief that it was +the forepart of a horse-shoe. The Committee of Taste and +the Heads of the Archæological Society were +consulted. These learned, dispassionate, and benevolent men +had the satisfaction of conciliating the parties at +variance,—each having yielded somewhat and every member +signing, and affixing his seal to the signature, that, if indeed +it be the forepart of a horse-shoe, it was probably +Ismael’s,—there being a curved indentation along it, +resembling the first letter of his name, and there being no +certainty or record that he died in France, or was left in that +country by Sir Magnus.</p> +<p>The Editor is unable to render adequate thanks to the Rev. +Stephen Turnover for the gratification he received in his curious +library by a sight of Joseph Carnaby’s name at full length, +in red ink, coming from a trumpet in the mouth of an angel. +This invaluable document is upon an engraving in a frontispiece +to the New Testament. But since unhappily he could procure +no signature of Hannah Hathaway, nor of her mother, and only a +questionable one of Mr. John Shakspeare, the poet’s +father,—there being two, in two very different +hands,—both he and the publisher were of opinion that the +graphical part of the volume would be justly censured as +extremely incomplete, and that what we could give would only +raise inextinguishable regret for that which we could not. +On this reflection all have been omitted.</p> +<p>The Editor is unwilling to affix any mark of disapprobation on +the very clever engraver who undertook the sorrel mare; but as in +the memorable words of that ingenious gentleman from Ireland +whose polished and elaborate epigrams raised him justly to the +rank of prime minister,—</p> +<blockquote><p style="text-align: center">“White was not +<i>so very</i> white,”—</p> +</blockquote> +<p>in like manner it appeared to nearly all the artists he +consulted that the sorrel mare was not <i>so sorrel</i> in +print.</p> +<p>There is another and a graver reason why the Editor was +induced to reject the contribution of his friend the engraver; +and this is, a neglect of the late improvements in his art, he +having, unadvisedly or thoughtlessly, drawn in the old-fashioned +manner lines at the two sides and at the top and bottom of his +print, confining it to such limits as paintings are confined in +by their frames. Our spirited engravers, it is well-known, +disdain this thraldom, and not only give unbounded space to their +scenery, but also melt their figures in the air,—so +advantageously, that, for the most part, they approach the +condition of cherubs. This is the true aërial +perspective, so little understood heretofore. Trees, +castles, rivers, volcanoes, oceans, float together in absolute +vacancy; the solid earth is represented, what we know it actually +is, buoyant as a bubble, so that no wonder if every horse is +endued with all the privileges of Pegasus, save and except our +sorrel. Malicious carpers, insensible or invidious of +England’s glory, deny her in this beautiful practice the +merit of invention, assigning it to the Chinese in their tea-cups +and saucers; but if not absolutely new and ours, it must be +acknowledged that we have greatly improved and extended the +invention.</p> +<p>Such are the reasons why the little volume here laid before +the public is defective in those decorations which the exalted +state of literature demands. Something of compensation is +supplied by a Memorandum of Ephraim Barnett, written upon the +inner cover, and printed below.</p> +<p>The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little practised in +the ways of literature; much less is he gifted with that +prophetic spirit which can anticipate the judgment of the +public. It may be that he is too idle or too apathetic to +think anxiously or much about the matter; and yet he has been +amused, in his earlier days, at watching the first appearance of +such few books as he believed to be the production of some +powerful intellect. He has seen people slowly rise up to +them, like carp in a pond when food is thrown into it; some of +which carp snatch suddenly at a morsel, and swallow it; others +touch it gently with their barb, pass deliberately by, and leave +it; others wriggle and rub against it more disdainfully; others, +in sober truth, know not what to make of it, swim round and round +it, eye it on the sunny side, eye it on the shady, approach it, +question it, shoulder it, flap it with the tail, turn it over, +look askance at it, take a pea-shell or a worm instead of it, and +plunge again their heads into the comfortable mud. After +some seasons the same food will suit their stomachs better.</p> +<h2>EXAMINATION,<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">ETC., ETC.</span></h2> +<p><span class="smcap">About</span> one hour before noontide the +youth <span class="smcap">William Shakspeare</span>, accused of +deer-stealing, and apprehended for that offence, was brought into +the great hall at Charlecote, where, having made his obeisance, +it was most graciously permitted him to stand.</p> +<p>The worshipful Sir Thomas Lucy, Knight, seeing him right +opposite, on the farther side of the long table, and fearing no +disadvantage, did frown upon him with great dignity; then, +deigning ne’er a word to the culprit, turned he his face +toward his chaplain, Sir Silas Gough, who stood beside him, and +said unto him most courteously, and unlike unto one who in his +own right commandeth,—</p> +<p>“Stand out of the way! What are those two varlets +bringing into the room?”</p> +<p>“The table, sir,” replied Master Silas, +“upon the which the consumption of the venison was +perpetrated.”</p> +<p>The youth, William Shakspeare, did thereupon pray and beseech +his lordship most fervently, in this guise:—</p> +<p>“Oh, sir! do not let him turn the tables against me, who +am only a simple stripling, and he an old codger.”</p> +<p>But Master Silas did bite his nether lip, and did cry +aloud,—</p> +<p>“Look upon those deadly spots!”</p> +<p>And his worship did look thereupon most staidly, and did say +in the ear of Master Silas, but in such wise that it reached even +unto mine,</p> +<p>“Good honest chandlery, methinks!”</p> +<p>“God grant it may turn out so!” ejaculated Master +Silas.</p> +<p>The youth, hearing these words, said unto him,—</p> +<p>“I fear, Master Silas, gentry like you often pray God to +grant what <i>he</i> would rather not; and now and then what +<i>you</i> would rather not.”</p> +<p>Sir Silas was wroth at this rudeness of speech about God in +the face of a preacher, and said, reprovingly,—</p> +<p>“Out upon thy foul mouth, knave! upon which lie +slaughter and venison.”</p> +<p>Whereupon did William Shakspeare sit mute awhile, and +discomfited; then turning toward Sir Thomas, and looking and +speaking as one submiss and contrite, he thus appealed unto +him:—</p> +<p>“Worshipful sir! were there any signs of venison on my +mouth, Master Silas could not for his life cry out upon it, nor +help kissing it as ’twere a wench’s.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas looked upon him with most lordly gravity and +wisdom, and said unto him, in a voice that might have come from +the bench:</p> +<p>“Youth, thou speakest irreverently;” and then unto +Master Silas: “Silas! to the business on hand. Taste +the fat upon yon boor’s table, which the constable hath +brought hither, good Master Silas! And declare upon oath, +being sworn in my presence, first, whether said fat do proceed of +venison; secondly, whether said venison be of buck or +doe.”</p> +<p>Whereupon the reverend Sir Silas did go incontinently, and did +bend forward his head, shoulders, and body, and did severally +taste four white solid substances upon an oaken board; said board +being about two yards long, and one yard four inches +wide,—found in, and brought thither from, the tenement or +messuage of Andrew Haggit, who hath absconded. Of these +four white solid substances, two were somewhat larger than a +groat, and thicker; one about the size of King Henry the +Eighth’s shilling, when our late sovereign lord of blessed +memory was toward the lustiest; and the other, that is to say the +middlemost, did resemble in some sort, a mushroom, not over +fresh, turned upward on its stalk.</p> +<p>“And what sayest thou, Master Silas?” quoth the +knight.</p> +<p>In reply whereunto Sir Silas thus averred:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“Venison! o’ my conscience!<br /> +Buck! or burn me alive!</p> +<p>The three splashes in the circumference are verily and indeed +venison; buck, moreover,—and Charlecote buck, upon my +oath!”</p> +<p>Then carefully tasting the protuberance in the centre, he spat +it out, crying,—</p> +<p>“<i>Pho</i>! <i>pho</i>! <i>villain</i>! +<i>villain</i>!” and shaking his fist at the culprit.</p> +<p>Whereat the said culprit smiled and winked, and said +off-hand,—</p> +<p>“Save thy spittle, Silas! It would supply a gaudy +mess to the hungriest litter; but it would turn them from whelps +into wolvets. ’T is pity to throw the best of thee +away. Nothing comes out of thy mouth that is not savoury +and solid, bating thy wit, thy sermons, and thy +promises.”</p> +<p>It was my duty to write down the very words, irreverent as +they are, being so commanded. More of the like, it is to be +feared, would have ensued, but that Sir Thomas did check him, +saying, shrewdly,—</p> +<p>“Young man! I perceive that if I do not stop thee +in thy courses, thy name, being involved in thy company’s, +may one day or other reach across the county; and folks may +handle it and turn it about, as it deserveth, from Coleshill to +Nuneaton, from Bromwicham to Brownsover. And who knoweth +but that, years after thy death, the very house wherein thou wert +born may be pointed at, and commented on, by knots of people, +gentle and simple! What a shame for an honest man’s +son! Thanks to me, who consider of measures to prevent +it! Posterity shall laud and glorify me for plucking thee +clean out of her head, and for picking up timely a ticklish +skittle, that might overthrow with it a power of others just as +light. I will rid the hundred of thee, with God’s +blessing!—nay, the whole shire. We will have none +such in our county; we justices are agreed upon it, and we will +keep our word now and forevermore. Woe betide any that +resembles thee in any part of him!”</p> +<p>Whereunto Sir Silas added,—</p> +<p>“We will dog him, and worry him, and haunt him, and +bedevil him; and if ever he hear a comfortable word, it shall be +in a language very different from his own.”</p> +<p>“As different as thine is from a +Christian’s,” said the youth.</p> +<p>“Boy! thou art slow of apprehension,” said Sir +Thomas, with much gravity; and taking up the cue, did +rejoin,—</p> +<p>“Master Silas would impress upon thy ductile and tender +mind the danger of evil doing; that we, in other words that +justice is resolved to follow him up, even beyond his country, +where he shall hear nothing better than the Italian or the +Spanish, or the black language, or the language of Turk or +Troubadour, or Tartar or Mongol. And, forsooth, for this +gentle and indirect reproof, a gentleman in priest’s orders +is told by a stripling that he lacketh Christianity! Who +then shall give it?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Who, indeed? when the founder of the feast leaveth an +invited guest so empty! Yea, sir, the guest was invited, +and the board was spread. The fruits that lay upon it be +there still, and fresh as ever; and the bread of life in those +capacious canisters is unconsumed and unbroken.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span> (<i>aside</i>).</p> +<p>“The knave maketh me hungry with his mischievous +similitudes.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou hast aggravated thy offence, Wil Shakspeare! +Irreverent caitiff! is this a discourse for my chaplain and +clerk? Can he or the worthy scribe Ephraim (his worship was +pleased to call me worthy) write down such words as those, about +litter and wolvets, for the perusal and meditation of the grand +jury? If the whole corporation of Stratford had not +unanimously given it against thee, still his tongue would catch +thee, as the evet catcheth a gnat. Know, sirrah, the +reverend Sir Silas, albeit ill appointed for riding, and not +over-fond of it, goeth to every house wherein is a venison feast +for thirty miles round. Not a buck’s hoof on any +stable-door but it awakeneth his recollections like a red +letter.”</p> +<p>This wholesome reproof did bring the youth back again to his +right senses; and then said he, with contrition, and with a +wisdom beyond his years, and little to be expected from one who +had spoken just before so unadvisedly and rashly,—</p> +<p>“Well do I know it, your worship! And verily do I +believe that a bone of one being shovelled among the soil upon +his coffin would forthwith quicken <a name="citation8a"></a><a +href="#footnote8a" class="citation">[8a]</a> him. Sooth to +say, there is ne’er a buckhound in the county but he +treateth him as a godchild, patting him on the head, soothing his +velvety ear between thumb and forefinger, ejecting tick from +tenement, calling him ‘fine fellow,’ ‘noble +lad,’ and giving him his blessing, as one dearer to him +than a king’s debt to a debtor, <a name="citation8b"></a><a +href="#footnote8b" class="citation">[8b]</a> or a bastard to a +dad of eighty. This is the only kindness I ever heard of +Master Silas toward his fellow-creatures. Never hold me +unjust, Sir Knight, to Master Silas. Could I learn other +good of him, I would freely say it; for we do good by speaking +it, and none is easier. Even bad men are not bad men while +they praise the just. Their first step backward is more +troublesome and wrenching to them than the first +forward.”</p> +<p>“In God’s name, where did he gather all +this?” whispered his worship to the chaplain, by whose side +I was sitting. “Why, he talks like a man of +forty-seven, or more!”</p> +<p>“I doubt his sincerity, sir!” replied the +chaplain. “His words are fairer now—”</p> +<p>“Devil choke him for them!” interjected he, with +an undervoice.</p> +<p>“—and almost book-worthy; but out of place. +What the scurvy cur yelped against me, I forgive him as a +Christian. Murrain upon such varlet vermin! It is but +of late years that dignities have come to be reviled. The +other parts of the Gospel were broken long before,—this was +left us; and now this likewise is to be kicked out of doors, amid +the mutterings of such mooncalves as him yonder.”</p> +<p>“Too true, Silas!” said the knight, sighing +deeply. “Things are not as they were in our glorious +wars of York and Lancaster. The knaves were thinned +then,—two or three crops a year of that rank squitch-grass +which it has become the fashion of late to call the people. +There was some difference then between buff doublets and iron +mail, and the rogues felt it. Well-a-day! we must bear what +God willeth, and never repine, although it gives a man the +heart-ache. We are bound in duty to keep these things for +the closet, and to tell God of them only when we call upon his +holy name, and have him quite by ourselves.”</p> +<p>Sir Silas looked discontented and impatient, and said, +snappishly,—</p> +<p>“Cast we off here, or we shall be at fault. Start +him, sir!—prithee, start him.”</p> +<p>Again his worship, Sir Thomas, did look gravely and grandly, +and taking a scrap of paper out of the Holy Book then lying +before him, did read distinctly these words:—</p> +<p>“Providence hath sent Master Silas back hither, this +morning, to confound thee in thy guilt.”</p> +<p>Again, with all the courage and composure of an innocent man, +and indeed with more than what an innocent man ought to possess +in the presence of a magistrate, the youngster said, pointing +toward Master Silas,—</p> +<p>“The first moment he ventureth to lift up his visage +from the table, hath Providence marked him miraculously. I +have heard of black malice. How many of our words have more +in them than we think of! Give a countryman a plough of +silver, and he will plough with it all the season, and never know +its substance. ’T is thus with our daily +speech. What riches lie hidden in the vulgar tongue of the +poorest and most ignorant! What flowers of Paradise lie +under our feet, with their beauties and parts undistinguished and +undiscerned, from having been daily trodden on! O, sir, +look you!—but let me cover my eyes! Look at his +lips! Gracious Heaven! they were not thus when he +entered. They are blacker now than Harry Tewe’s +bull-bitch’s!”</p> +<p>Master Silas did lift up his eyes in astonishment and wrath; +and his worship, Sir Thomas, did open his wider and wider, and +cried by fits and starts:—</p> +<p>“Gramercy! true enough! nay, afore God, too true by +half! I never saw the like! Who would believe +it? I wish I were fairly rid of this examination,—my +hands washed clean thereof! Another time,—anon! +We have our quarterly sessions; we are many together. At +present I remand—”</p> +<p>And now, indeed, unless Sir Silas had taken his worship by the +sleeve, he would may-hap have remanded the lad. But Sir +Silas, still holding the sleeve and shaking it, said, +hurriedly,—</p> +<p>“Let me entreat your worship to ponder. What black +does the fellow talk of? My blood and bile rose up against +the rogue; but surely I did not turn black in the face, or in the +mouth, as the fellow calls it?”</p> +<p>Whether Master Silas had some suspicion and inkling of the +cause or not, he rubbed his right hand along his face and lips, +and, looking upon it, cried aloud,—</p> +<p>“Ho, ho! is it off? There is some upon my +finger’s end, I find. Now I have it,—ay, there +it is. That large splash upon the centre of the table is +tallow, by my salvation! The profligates sat up until the +candle burned out, and the last of it ran through the socket upon +the board. We knew it before. I did convey into my +mouth both fat and smut!”</p> +<p>“Many of your cloth and kidney do that, good Master +Silas, and make no wry faces about it,” quoth the +youngster, with indiscreet merriment, although short of laughter, +as became him who had already stepped too far and reached the +mire.</p> +<p>To save paper and time, I shall now, for the most part, write +only what they all said, not saying that they said it, and just +copying out in my clearest hand what fell respectively from their +mouths.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I did indeed spit it forth, and emunge my lips, as who +should not?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Would it were so!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“<i>Would it were so</i>! in thy teeth, +hypocrite!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And, truly, I likewise do incline to hope and credit +it, as thus paraphrased and expounded.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Wait until this blessed day next year, sir, at the same +hour. You shall see it forth again at its due season; it +would be no miracle if it lasted. Spittle may cure sore +eyes, but not blasted mouths and scald consciences.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Why! who taught thee all this?”</p> +<p>Then turned he leisurely toward Sir Silas, and placing his +hand outspreaden upon the arm of the chaplain, said unto him in a +low, judicial, hollow voice,—</p> +<p>“Every word true and solemn! I have heard less +wise saws from between black covers.”</p> +<p>Sir Silas was indignant at this under-rating, as he appeared +to think it, of the church and its ministry, and answered +impatiently, with Christian freedom,—</p> +<p>“Your worship surely will not listen to this wild wizard +in his brothel-pulpit!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Do I live to hear Charlecote Hall called a +brothel-pulpit? Alas, then, I have lived too +long!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“We will try to amend that for thee.”</p> +<p>William seemed not to hear him, loudly as he spake and +pointedly unto the youngster, who wiped his eyes, +crying,—</p> +<p>“Commit me, sir! in mercy commit me! Master +Ephraim! Oh, Master Ephraim! A guiltless man may feel +all the pangs of the guilty! Is it you who are to make out +the commitment? Dispatch! dispatch. I am a-weary of +my life. If I dared to lie, I would plead +guilty.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Heyday! No wonder, Master Ephraim, thy entrails +are moved and wamble. Dost weep, lad? Nay, nay; thou +bearest up bravely. Silas, I now find, although the example +come before me from humble life, that what my mother said was +true—’t was upon my father’s +demise—‘In great grief there are few +tears.’”</p> +<p>Upon which did the youth, Willy Shakspeare, jog himself by the +memory, and repeat these short verses, not wide from the same +purport:</p> +<p class="poetry">“There are, alas, some depths of woe<br +/> +Too vast for tears to overflow.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Let those who are sadly vexed in spirit mind that +notion, whoever indited it, and be men. I always was; but +some little griefs have pinched me woundily.”</p> +<p>Master Silas grew impatient, for he had ridden hard that +morning, and had no cushion upon his seat, as Sir Thomas +had. I have seen in my time that he who is seated on +beech-wood hath very different thoughts and moralities from him +who is seated on goose-feathers under doe-skin. But that is +neither here nor there, albeit, an’ I die, as I must, my +heirs, Judith and her boy Elijah, may note it.</p> +<p>Master Silas, as above, looked sourishly, and cried +aloud,—</p> +<p>“The witnesses! the witnesses! testimony! +testimony! We shall now see whose black goes deepest. +There is a fork to be had that can hold the slipperiest eel, and +a finger that can strip the slimiest. I cry your worship to +the witnesses.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, indeed, we are losing the day; it wastes toward +noon, and nothing done. Call the witnesses. How are +they called by name? Give me the paper.”</p> +<p>The paper being forthwith delivered into his worship’s +hand by the learned clerk, his worship did read aloud the name of +Euseby Treen. Whereupon did Euseby Treen come forth through +the great hall-door which was ajar, and answer most +audibly,—</p> +<p>“Your worship!”</p> +<p>Straightway did Sir Thomas read aloud, in like form and +manner, the name of Joseph Carnaby; and in like manner as +aforesaid did Joseph Carnaby make answer and say,—</p> +<p>“Your worship!”</p> +<p>Lastly did Sir Thomas turn the light of his countenance on +William Shakspeare, saying,—</p> +<p>“Thou seest these good men deponents against thee, +William Shakspeare.” And then did Sir Thomas +pause. And pending this pause did William Shakspeare look +steadfastly in the faces of both; and stroking down his own with +the hollow of his hand from the jaw-bone to the chin-point, said +unto his honour,—</p> +<p>“Faith! it would give me much pleasure, and the +neighbourhood much vantage, to see these two fellows good +men. Joseph Carnaby and Euseby Treen! Why! your +worship! they know every hare’s form in Luddington-field +better than their own beds, and as well pretty nigh as any +wench’s in the parish.”</p> +<p>Then turned he with jocular scoff unto Joseph Carnaby, thus +accosting him, whom his shirt, being made stiffer than usual for +the occasion, rubbed and frayed,—</p> +<p>“Ay, Joseph! smoothen and soothe thy collar-piece again +and again! Hark ye! I know what smock that was +knavishly cut from.”</p> +<p>Master Silas rose up in high choler, and said unto Sir +Thomas,—</p> +<p>“Sir! do not listen to that lewd reviler; I wager ten +groats I prove him to be wrong in his scent. Joseph Carnaby +is righteous and discreet.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“By daylight and before the parson. Bears and +boars are tame creatures, and discreet, in the sunshine and after +dinner.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“I do know his down-goings and uprisings.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The man and his wife are one, saith holy +Scripture.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. +Few keep Lent like unto him.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I warrant him, both lent and stolen.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou +depose on particulars.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“May it please your worship! I was returning from +Hampton upon Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and +eleven at night, in company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we +came to the bottom of Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in +discourse. I plucked Euseby Treen by the doublet, and +whispered in his ear, ‘Euseby! Euseby! let us slink along +in the shadow of the elms and willows.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“<i>Willows and elm-trees</i> were the words.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot +agree in their own story.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“The same thing, the same thing, in the main.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“By less differences than this estates have been lost, +hearts broken, and England, our country, filled with homeless, +helpless, destitute orphans. I protest against +it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member +of the House of Lords. They alone can protest.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Your attorney may <i>object</i>, not <i>protest</i>, +before the lord judge.</p> +<p>“Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, +then—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own +story, man, and do not borrow his.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more +futile and frivolous.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do +me justice by hearing me attentively. I am young; +nevertheless, having more than one year written in the office of +an attorney, and having heard and listened to many discourses and +questions on law, I cannot but remember the heavy fine inflicted +on a gentleman of this county who committed a poor man to prison +for being in possession of a hare, it being proved that the hare +was in his possession, and not he in the hare’s.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Synonymous term! synonymous term!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“In what term sayest thou was it? I do not +remember the case.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! +Jesuitical!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the +law by its perversions to the side of oppression and +cruelty. The order of Jesuits, I fear, is as numerous as +its tenets are lax and comprehensive. I am sorry to see +their frocks flounced with English serge.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I don’t understand thee, viper!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy +place. And do thou, Joseph Carnaby, take up again the +thread of thy testimony.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“We were still at some distance from the party, when on +a sudden Euseby hung an —” <a +name="citation21a"></a><a href="#footnote21a" +class="citation">[21a]</a></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“As well write <i>drew back</i>, Master Ephraim and +Master Silas! Be circumspecter in speech, Master Joseph +Carnaby! I did not look for such rude phrases from that +starch-warehouse under thy chin. Continue, man!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“‘Euseby,’ said I in his ear, ‘what +ails thee, Euseby?’ ‘I wag no farther,’ +quoth he. ‘What a number of names and +voices!’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Dreadful gang! a number of names and voices! Had +it been any other day in the year but Allhallowmas eve! To +steal a buck upon such a day! Well! God may pardon +even that. Go on, go on. But the laws of our country +must have their satisfaction and atonement. Were it upon +any other day in the calendar less holy, the buck were nothing, +or next to nothing, saving the law and our conscience and our +good report. Yet we, her Majesty’s justices, must +stand in the gap, body and soul, against evil-doers. Now do +thou, in furtherance of this business, give thine aid unto us, +Joseph Carnaby!—remembering that mine eye from this +judgment-seat, and her Majesty’s bright and glorious one +overlooking the whole realm, and the broader of God above, are +upon thee.”</p> +<p>Carnaby did quail a matter at these words about the +judgment-seat and the broad eye, aptly and gravely delivered by +him moreover who hath to administer truth and righteousness in +our ancient and venerable laws, and especially, at the present +juncture, in those against park-breaking and deer-stealing. +But finally, nought discomfited, and putting his hand valiantly +atwixt hip and midriff, so that his elbow well-nigh touched the +taller pen in the ink-pot, he went on.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“‘<i>In the shadow of the willows and +elm-trees</i>,’ said he, ‘<i>and get +nearer</i>.’ We were still at some distance, maybe a +score of furlongs, from the party—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou hast said it already—all save the score of +furlongs.”</p> +<p>“Hast room for them, Master Silas?”</p> +<p>“Yea,” quoth Master Silas, “and would make +room for fifty, to let the fellow swing at his ease.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Hast room, Master Ephraim?”</p> +<p>“’T is done, most worshipful!” said I. +The learned knight did not recollect that I could put fifty +furlongs in a needle’s eye, give me pen fine enough.</p> +<p>But far be it from me to vaunt of my penmanship, although +there be those who do malign it, even in my own township and +parish; yet they never have unperched me from my calling, and +have had hard work to take an idle wench or two from under me on +Saturday nights.</p> +<p>I memorize thus much, not out of any malice or any soreness +about me, but that those of my kindred into whose hands it please +God these papers do fall hereafter, may bear up stoutly in such +straits; and if they be good at the cudgel, that they, looking +first at their man, do give it him heartily and unsparingly, +keeping within law.</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, having overlooked what we had written, and +meditated a while thereupon, said unto Joseph,—</p> +<p>“It appeareth by thy testimony that there was a huge and +desperate gang of them afoot. Revengeful dogs! it is +difficult to deal with them. The laws forbid precipitancy +and violence. A dozen or two may return and harm me; not +me, indeed, but my tenants and servants. I would fain act +with prudence, and like unto him who looketh abroad. He +must tie his shoe tightly who passeth through mire; he must step +softly who steppeth over stones; he must walk in the fear of the +Lord (which, without a brag, I do at this present feel upon me), +who hopeth to reach the end of the straightest road in +safety.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Tut, tut! your worship! Her Majesty’s +deputy hath matchlocks and halters at a knight’s disposal, +or the world were topsyturvy indeed.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“My mental ejaculations, and an influx of grace +thereupon, have shaken and washed from my brain all thy last +words, good Joseph! Thy companion here, Euseby Treen, said +unto thee—ay—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Said unto me, ‘What a number of names and +voices! And there be but three living men in all! And +look again! Christ deliver us! all the shadows save one go +leftward; that one lieth right upon the river. It seemeth a +big, squat monster, shaking a little, as one ready to spring upon +its prey!’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“A dead man in his last agonies, no doubt! Your +deer-stealer doth boggle at nothing. He hath alway the +knife in doublet and the devil at elbow.</p> +<p>“I wot not of any keeper killed or missing. To +lose one’s deer and keeper too were overmuch.</p> +<p>“Do, in God’s merciful name, hand unto me a glass +of sack, Master Silas! I wax faintish at the big, squat +man. He hath harmed not only me, but mine. +Furthermore, the examination is grown so long.”</p> +<p>Then was the wine delivered by Sir Silas into the hand of his +worship, who drank it off in a beaker of about half a +pint,—but little to his satisfaction, for he said shortly +afterward,—</p> +<p>“Hast thou poured no water into the sack, good Master +Silas? It seemeth weaker and washier than ordinary, and +affordeth small comfort unto the breast and stomach.”</p> +<p>“Not I, truly, sir,” replied Master Silas +“and the bottle is a fresh and sound one. The cork +reported on drawing, as the best diver doth on sousing from +Warwick bridge into Avon. A rare cork! as bright as the +glass bottle, and as smooth as the lips of any cow.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“My mouth is out of taste this morning; or the same +wine, mayhap, hath a different force and flavor in the +dining-room and among friends. But to business—what +more?”</p> +<p>“Euseby Treen, what may it be?” said I.</p> +<p>“I know,” quoth he, “but dare not breathe +it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I thought I had taken a glass of wine, verily. +Attention to my duty as a magistrate is paramount. I mind +nothing else when that lies before me.</p> +<p>“Carnaby! I credit thy honesty, but doubt thy +manhood. Why not breathe it, with a vengeance?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“It was Euseby who dared not.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Stand still! Say nothing yet; mind my +orders. Fair and softly! compose thyself.”</p> +<p>They all stood silent for some time, and looked very composed, +awaiting the commands of the knight. His mind was clearly +in such a state of devotion that peradventure he might not have +descended for a while longer to his mundane duties, had not +Master Silas told him that, under the shadow of his wing, their +courage had returned and they were quite composed again.</p> +<p>“You may proceed,” said the knight.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Master Treen did take off his cap and wipe his +forehead. I, for the sake of comforting him in this his +heaviness, placed my hand upon his crown; and truly I might have +taken it for a tuft of bents, the hair on end, the skin immovable +as God’s earth!”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, hearing these words, lifted up his hands above his +own head, and in the loudest voice he had yet uttered did he +cry,—</p> +<p>“Wonderful are thy ways in Israel, O Lord!”</p> +<p>So saying, the pious knight did strike his knee with the palm +of his right hand; and then gave he a sign, bowing his head and +closing his eyes, by which Master Carnaby did think he signified +his pleasure that he should go on deposing. And he went on +thus:—</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“At this moment one of the accomplices cried, +‘Willy! Willy! prithee stop! enough in all +conscience! First thou divertedst us from our undertaking +with thy strange vagaries, thy Italian girls’ nursery sigh, +thy Pucks and pinchings, and thy Windsor whimsies. No +kitten upon a bed of marum ever played such antics. It was +summer and winter, night and day with us within the hour; and in +such religion did we think and feel it, we would have broken the +man’s jaw who gainsaid it. We have slept with thee +under the oaks in the ancient forest of Arden, and we have +wakened from our sleep in the tempest far at sea. <a +name="citation29a"></a><a href="#footnote29a" +class="citation">[29a]</a> Now art thou for frightening us +again out of all the senses thou hadst given us, with witches and +women more murderous than they.’</p> +<p>“Then followed a deeper voice: ‘Stouter men and +more resolute are few; but thou, my lad, hast words too weighty +for flesh and bones to bear up against. And who knows but +these creatures may pop amongst us at last, as the wolf did, sure +enough, upon him, the noisy rogue, who so long had been crying +<i>wolf</i>! and <i>wolf</i>!’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Well spoken, for two thieves; albeit I miss the meaning +of the most part. Did they prevail with the scapegrace and +stop him?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“The last who had spoken did slap him on the shoulder, +saying, ‘Jump into the punt, lad, and across.’ +Thereupon did Will Shakspeare jump into said punt, and begin to +sing a song about a mermaid.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir! is this credible? I will be sworn I never +saw one; and verily do believe that scarcely one in a hundred +years doth venture so far up the Avon.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“There is something in this. Thou mayest have sung +about one, nevertheless. Young poets take great liberties +with all female kind; not that mermaids are such very unlawful +game for them, and there be songs even about worse and staler +fish. Mind ye that! Thou hast written songs, and hast +sung them, and lewd enough they be, God wot!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Pardon me, your worship! they were not mine then. +Peradventure the song about the mermaid may have been that +ancient one which every boy in most parishes has been singing for +many years, and, perhaps, his father before him; and somebody was +singing it then, mayhap, to keep up his courage in the +night.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I never heard it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Nobody would dare to sing in the presence of your +worship, unless commanded,—not even the mermaid +herself.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Canst thou sing it?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Verily, I can sing nothing.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Canst thou repeat it from memory?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“It is so long since I have thought about it, that I may +fail in the attempt.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Try, however.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘The mermaid sat upon the rocks<br +/> + All day long,<br /> +Admiring her beauty and combing her locks,<br /> + And singing a mermaid song.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What was it? what was it? I thought as +much. There thou standest, like a woodpecker, chattering +and chattering, breaking the bark with thy beak, and leaving the +grub where it was. This is enough to put a saint out of +patience.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The wishes of your worship possess a mysterious +influence,—I now remember all.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And hear the mermaid’s song +you may,<br /> + As sure as sure can be,<br /> +If you will but follow the sun all day,<br /> + And souse with him into the sea.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It must be an idle fellow who would take that trouble; +besides, unless he nicked the time he might miss the +monster. There be many who are slow to believe that the +mermaid singeth.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Ah sir! not only the mermaid singeth, but the merman +sweareth, as another old song will convince you.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I would fain be convinced of God’s wonders in the +great deeps, and would lean upon the weakest reed like unto thee +to manifest his glory. Thou mayest convince me.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">1.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘A wonderful story, my lasses and +lads,<br /> +Peradventure you’ve heard from your grannams or dads,<br /> +Of a merman that came every night to woo<br /> +The spinster of spinsters, our Catherine Crewe.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">2.</p> +<p +class="poetry"> “‘But +Catherine Crewe<br /> + Is now seventy-two,<br /> + And avers she hath half forgotten<br /> +The truth of the tale, when you ask her about it,<br /> +And says, as if fain to deny it or flout it,<br /> + “<i>Pooh</i>! <i>the merman is dead and +rotten</i>.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center">3.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘The merman came up as the mermen +are wont,<br /> +To the top of the water, and then swam upon ’t;<br /> +And Catherine saw him with both her two eyes,<br /> +A lusty young merman full six feet in size.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">4.</p> +<p +class="poetry"> “‘And +Catherine was frighten’d,<br /> + Her scalp-skin it +tighten’d,<br /> +And her head it swam strangely, although on dry land;<br /> + And the merman made bold<br /> + Eftsoons to lay hold<br /> +(<i>This</i> Catherine well recollects) of her hand.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">5.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘But how could a merman, if ever +so good,<br /> +Or if ever so clever, be well understood<br /> +By a simple young creature of our flesh and blood?</p> +<p style="text-align: center">6.</p> +<p +class="poetry"> “‘Some +tell us the merman<br /> + Can only speak German,<br /> + In a voice between grunting and snoring;<br /> +But Catherine says he had learned in the wars<br /> +The language, persuasions, and oaths of our tars,<br /> + And that even his voice was not foreign.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">7.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Yet when she was asked how he +managed to hide<br /> +The green fishy tail, coming out of the tide<br /> + For night after night above twenty,<br /> +“You troublesome creatures!” old Catherine +replied,<br /> + “<i>In his pocket</i>; won’t that now +content ye?”’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I have my doubts yet. I should have said unto +her, seriously, ‘Kate! Kate! I am not +convinced.’ There may be witchcraft or sortilege in +it. I would have made it a star-chamber matter.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“It was one, sir.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And now I am reminded by this silly, childish +song,—which, after all, is not the true +mermaid’s,—thou didst tell me, Silas, that the papers +found in the lad’s pocket were intended for +poetry.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I wish he had missed his aim, sir, in your park, as he +hath missed it in his poetry. The papers are not worth +reading; they do not go against him in the point at +issue.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“We must see that,—they being taken upon his +person when apprehended.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Let Ephraim read them, then; it behooveth not me, a +Master of Arts, to con a whelp’s whining.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Do thou read them aloud unto us, good Master +Ephraim.”</p> +<p>Whereupon I took the papers which young Willy had not bestowed +much pains on; and they posed and puzzled me grievously, for they +were blotted and scrawled in many places, as if somebody had put +him out. These likewise I thought fit, after long +consideration, to write better, and preserve, great as the loss +of time is when men of business take in hand such unseemly +matters. However, they are decenter than most, and not +without their moral; for example:—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“TO THE OWLET.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Who, O thou sapient, saintly bird!<br /> +Thy shouted warnings ever heard<br /> + Unbleached by fear?<br /> +The blue-faced blubbering imp, who steals<br /> +Yon turnips, thinks thee at his heels,<br /> + Afar or near.</p> +<p class="poetry">“The brawnier churl, who brags at +times<br /> +To front and top the rankest crimes,—<br /> + To paunch a deer,<br /> +Quarter a priest, or squeeze a wench,—<br /> +Scuds from thee, clammy as a tench,<br /> + He knows not where.</p> +<p class="poetry">“For this the righteous Lord of all<br /> +Consigns to thee the castle-wall,<br /> + When, many a year,<br /> +Closed in the chancel-vaults, are eyes<br /> +Rainy or sunny at the sighs<br /> + Of knight or peer.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, when I had ended, said unto me,</p> +<p>“No harm herein; but are they over?”</p> +<p>I replied, “Yea, sir!”</p> +<p>“I miss the <i>posy</i>,” quoth he; “there +is usually a lump of sugar, or a smack thereof at the bottom of +the glass. They who are inexperienced in poetry do write it +as boys do their copies in the copy-book, without a flourish at +the finis. It is only the master who can do this +befittingly.”</p> +<p>I bowed unto his worship reverentially, thinking of a surety +he meant me, and returned my best thanks in set language. +But his worship rebuffed them, and told me graciously that he had +an eye on another of very different quality; that the plain sense +of his discourse might do for me, the subtler was certainly for +himself. He added that in his younger days he had heard +from a person of great parts, and had since profited by it, that +ordinary poets are like adders,—the tail blunt and the body +rough, and the whole reptile cold-blooded and sluggish: +“whereas we,” he subjoined, “leap and caracole +and curvet, and are as warm as velvet, and as sleek as satin, and +as perfumed as a Naples fan, in every part of us; and the end of +our poems is as pointed as a perch’s back-fin, and it +requires as much nicety to pick it up as a needle<a +name="citation38a"></a><a href="#footnote38a" +class="citation">[38a]</a> at nine groats the hundred.”</p> +<p>Then turning toward the culprit, he said mildly unto +him,—</p> +<p>“Now why canst thou not apply thyself unto study? +Why canst thou not ask advice of thy superiors in rank and +wisdom? In a few years, under good discipline, thou +mightest rise from the owlet unto the peacock. I know not +what pleasant things might not come into the youthful head +thereupon.</p> +<p>“He was the bird of Venus, <a name="citation39b"></a><a +href="#footnote39b" class="citation">[39b]</a> goddess of +beauty. He flew down (I speak as a poet, and not in my +quality of knight and Christian) with half the stars of heaven +upon his tail; and his long, blue neck doth verily appear a +dainty slice out of the solid sky.”</p> +<p>Sir Silas smote me with his elbow, and said in my +ear,—</p> +<p>“He wanteth not this stuffing; he beats a pheasant out +of the kitchen, to my mind, take him only at the pheasant’s +size, and don’t (upon your life) overdo him.</p> +<p>“Never be cast down in spirit, nor take it too +‘grievously to heart, if the colour be a suspicion of the +pinkish,—no sign of rawness in that; none whatever. +It is as becoming to him as to the salmon; it is as natural to +your pea-chick in his best cookery, as it is to the finest +October morning,—moist underfoot, when partridge’s +and puss’s and renard’s scent lies +sweetly.”</p> +<p>Willie Shakspeare, in the mean time, lifted up his hands above +his ears half a cubit, and taking breath again, said, audibly, +although he willed it to be said unto himself alone,—</p> +<p>“O that knights could deign to be our teachers! +Methinks I should briefly spring up into heaven, through the very +chink out of which the peacock took his neck.”</p> +<p>Master Silas, who like myself and the worshipful knight, did +overhear him, said angrily,—</p> +<p>“To spring up into heaven, my lad, it would be as well +to have at least one foot upon the ground to make the spring +withal. I doubt whether we shall leave thee this +vantage.”</p> +<p>“Nay, nay! thou art hard upon him, Silas,” said +the knight.</p> +<p>I was turning over the other papers taken from the pocket of +the culprit on his apprehension, and had fixed my eyes on one, +when Sir Thomas caught them thus occupied, and +exclaimed,—</p> +<p>“Mercy upon us! have we more?”</p> +<p>“Your patience, worshipful sir!” said I; +“must I forward?”</p> +<p>“Yea, yea,” quoth he, resignedly, “we must +go through; we are pilgrims in this life.”</p> +<p>Then did I read, in a clear voice, the contents of paper the +second, being as followeth:—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“THE MAID’S LAMENT.</p> +<p class="poetry">“I loved him not; and yet, now he is +gone,<br /> + I feel I am alone.<br /> +I check’d him while he spoke; yet, could he speak,<br /> + Alas! I would not check.<br /> +For reasons not to love him once I sought,<br /> + And wearied all my thought<br /> +To vex myself and him: I now would give<br /> + My love could he but live<br /> +Who lately lived for me, and when he found<br /> + ’T was vain, in holy ground<br /> +He hid his face amid the shades of death!<br /> + I waste for him my breath<br /> +Who wasted his for me! but mine returns,<br /> + And this loin bosom burns<br /> +With stifling heat, heaving it up in sleep,<br /> + And waking me to weep<br /> +Tears that had melted his soft heart. For years<br /> + Wept he as bitter tears!<br /> +<i>Merciful God</i>! such was his latest prayer,<br /> + <i>These may she never share</i>!<br /> +Quieter is his breath, his breast more cold,<br /> + Than daisies in the mould,<br /> +Where children spell, athwart the churchyard gate,<br /> + His name and life’s brief date.<br /> +Pray for him, gentle souls, whoe’er you be,<br /> + And, oh! pray too for me!”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas had fallen into a most comfortable and refreshing +slumber ere this lecture was concluded; but the pause broke it, +as there be many who experience after the evening service in our +parish-church. Howbeit, he had presently all his wits about +him, and remembered well that he had been carefully counting the +syllables, about the time when I had pierced as far as into the +middle.</p> +<p>“Young man,” said he to Willy, “thou givest +short measure in every other sack of the load. Thy +uppermost stake is of right length; the undermost falleth off, +methinks.</p> +<p>“Master Ephraim, canst thou count syllables? I +mean no offence. I may have counted wrongfully myself, not +being born nor educated for an accountant.”</p> +<p>At such order I did count; and truly the suspicion was as just +as if he had neither been a knight nor a sleeper.</p> +<p>“Sad stuff! sad stuff, indeed!” said Master Silas, +“and smelling of popery and wax-candles.”</p> +<p>“Ay?” said Sir Thomas, “I must sift +that.”</p> +<p>“If praying for the dead is not popery,” said +Master Silas, “I know not what the devil is. Let them +pray for us; they may know whether it will do us any good. +We need not pray for them; we cannot tell whether it will do them +any. I call this sound divinity.”</p> +<p>“Are our churchmen all agreed thereupon?” asked +Sir Thomas.</p> +<p>“The wisest are,” replied Master Silas.</p> +<p>“There are some lank rascals who will never agree upon +anything but upon doubting. I would not give ninepence for +the best gown upon the most thrifty of ’em; and their +fingers are as stiff and hard with their pedlary, knavish +writing, as any bishop’s are with chalk-stones won honestly +from the gout.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas took the paper up from the table on which I had +laid it, and said after a while,—</p> +<p>“The man may only have swooned. I scorn to play +the critic, or to ask any one the meaning of a word; but, +sirrah!”</p> +<p>Here he turned in his chair from the side of Master Silas, and +said unto Willy,—</p> +<p>“William Shakspeare! out of this thraldom in regard to +popery, I hope, by God’s blessing, to deliver thee. +If ever thou repeatest the said verses, knowing the man to be to +all intents and purposes a dead man, prythee read the censurable +line as thus corrected,—</p> +<p style="text-align: center" class="poetry">‘Pray for our +Virgin Queen, gentles! whoe’er you be.’</p> +<p>although it is not quite the thing that another should impinge +so closely on her skirts.</p> +<p>“By this improvement, of me suggested, thou mayest make +some amends—a syllable or two—for the many that are +weighed in the balance and are found wanting.”</p> +<p>Then turning unto me, as being conversant by my profession in +such matters, and the same being not very worthy of learned and +staid clerks the like of Master Silas, he said,—</p> +<p>“Of all the youths that did ever write in verse, this +one verily is he who hath the fewest flowers and devices. +But it would be loss of time to form a border, in the fashion of +a kingly crown, or a dragon, or a Turk on horseback, out of +buttercups and dandelions.</p> +<p>“Master Ephraim! look at these badgers! with a long leg +on one quarter and a short leg on the other. The wench +herself might well and truly have said all that matter without +the poet, bating the rhymes and metre. Among the girls in +the country there are many such <i>shilly-shallys</i>, who give +themselves sore eyes and sharp eye-water; I would cure them rod +in hand.”</p> +<p>Whereupon did William Shakspeare say, with great +humility,—</p> +<p>“So would I, may it please your worship, an they would +let me.”</p> +<p>“Incorrigible sluts! Out upon ’em! and thou +art no better than they are,” quoth the knight.</p> +<p>Master Silas cried aloud, “No better, marry! they at the +worst are but carted and whipped for the edification of the +market-folks. <a name="citation44a"></a><a href="#footnote44a" +class="citation">[44a]</a> Not a squire or parson in the +country round but comes in his best to see a man +hanged.”</p> +<p>“The edification then is higher by a deal,” said +William, very composedly.</p> +<p>“Troth! is it,” replied Master Silas. +“The most poisonous reptile has the richest jewel in his +head; thou shalt share the richest gift bestowed upon royalty, +and shalt cure the king’s evil.” <a +name="citation45a"></a><a href="#footnote45a" +class="citation">[45a]</a></p> +<p>“It is more tractable, then, than the +church’s,” quoth William; and, turning his face +toward the chair, he made an obeisance to Sir Thomas, +saying,—</p> +<p>“Sir! the more submissive my behaviour is, the more +vehement and boisterous is Master Silas. My gentlest words +serve only to carry him toward the contrary quarter, as the south +wind bloweth a ship northward.”</p> +<p>“Youth,” said Sir Thomas, smiling most benignly, +“I find, and well indeed might I have surmised, thy utter +ignorance of winds, equinoxes, and tides. Consider now a +little! With what propriety can a wind be called a south +wind if it bloweth a vessel to the north? Would it be a +south wind that blew it from this hall into Warwick +market-place?”</p> +<p>“It would be a strong one,” said Master Silas unto +me, pointing his remark, as witty men are wont, with the +elbow-pan.</p> +<p>But Sir Thomas, who waited for an answer, and received none, +continued,—</p> +<p>“Would a man be called a good man who tended and pushed +on toward evil?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I stand corrected. I could sail to Cathay or +Tartary <a name="citation46a"></a><a href="#footnote46a" +class="citation">[46a]</a> with half the nautical knowledge I +have acquired in this glorious hall.</p> +<p>“The devil impelling a mortal to wrong courses, is +thereby known to be the devil. He, on the contrary, who +exciteth to good is no devil, but an angel of light, or under the +guidance of one. The devil driveth unto his own home; so +doth the south wind, so doth the north wind.</p> +<p>“Alas! alas! we possess not the mastery over our own +weak minds when a higher spirit standeth nigh and draweth us +within his influence.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Those thy words are well enough,—very well, very +good, wise, discreet, judicious beyond thy years. But then +that <i>sailing</i> comes in an awkward, ugly way across +me,—that <i>Cathay</i>, that <i>Tartarus</i>!</p> +<p>“Have a care! Do thou nothing rashly. Mind! +an thou stealest my punt for the purpose, I send the constable +after thee or e’er thou art half way over.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He would make a stock-fish of me an he caught me. +It is hard sailing out of his straits, although they be carefully +laid down in most parishes, and may have taken them from actual +survey.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, we have bestowed on him already well-nigh a good +hour of our time.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, who was always fond of giving admonition and +reproof to the ignorant and erring, and who had found the seeds +(little mustard-seeds, ’t is true, and never likely to +arise into the great mustard-tree of the Gospel) in the poor lad +Willy, did let his heart soften a whit tenderer and kindlier than +Master Silas did, and said unto Master Silas,—</p> +<p>“A good hour of our time! Yea, Silas! and thou +wouldst give <i>him</i> eternity!”</p> +<p>“What, sir! would you let him go?” said Master +Silas. “Presently we shall have neither deer nor dog, +neither hare nor coney, neither swan nor heron; every carp from +pool, every bream from brook, will be groped for. The +marble monuments in the church will no longer protect the leaden +coffins; and if there be any ring of gold on the finger of knight +or dame, it will be torn away with as little ruth and ceremony as +the ring from a butchered sow’s snout.”</p> +<p>“Awful words! Master Silas,” quoth the +knight, musing; “but thou mistakest my intentions. I +let him not go; howbeit, at worst I would only mark him in the +ear, and turn him up again after this warning, peradventure with +a few stripes to boot athwart the shoulders, in order to make +them shrug a little, and shake off the burden of +idleness.”</p> +<p>Now I, having seen, I dare not say the innocence, but the +innocent and simple manner of Willy, and pitying his tender +years, and having an inkling that he was a lad, poor Willy! whom +God had endowed with some parts, and into whose breast he had +instilled that milk of loving-kindness by which alone we can be +like unto those little children of whom is the household and +kingdom of our Lord,—I was moved, yea, even unto +tears. And now, to bring gentler thoughts into the hearts +of Master Silas and Sir Thomas, who, in his wisdom, deemed it a +light punishment to slit an ear or two, or inflict a wiry +scourging, I did remind his worship that another paper was yet +unread, at least to them, although I had been perusing it.</p> +<p>This was much pleasanter than the two former, and overflowing +with the praises of the worthy knight and his gracious lady; and +having an echo to it in another voice, I did hope thereby to +disarm their just wrath and indignation. It was thus +couched:—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“FIRST SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Jesu! what lofty elms are here!<br /> +Let me look through them at the clear,<br /> +Deep sky above, and bless my star<br /> +That such a worthy knight’s they are!</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“SECOND SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Innocent creatures! how those deer<br /> +Trot merrily, and romp and rear!</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“FIRST SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“The glorious knight who walks beside<br +/> +His most majestic lady bride,</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“SECOND SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Under these branches spreading wide,</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“FIRST SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Carries about so many cares<br /> +Touching his ancestors and heirs,<br /> +That came from Athens and from Rome—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“SECOND SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“As many of them as are come—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“FIRST SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Nought else the smallest lodge can +find<br /> +In the vast manors of his mind;<br /> +Envying not Solomon his wit—</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“SECOND SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“No, nor his women not a bit;<br /> +Being well-built and well-behavèd<br /> +As Solomon, I trow, or David.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“FIRST SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“And taking by his jewell’d hand<br +/> +The jewel of that lady bland,<br /> +He sees the tossing antlers pass<br /> +And throw quaint shadows o’er the grass;<br /> +While she alike the hour beguiles,<br /> +And looks at him and them, and smiles.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">“SECOND SHEPHERD.</p> +<p class="poetry">“With conscience proof ’gainst +Satan’s shock,<br /> +Albeit finer than her smock, <a name="citation50a"></a><a +href="#footnote50a" class="citation">[50a]</a><br /> +Marry! her smiles are not of vanity,<br /> +But resting on sound Christianity.<br /> +Faith, you would swear, had nail’d <a +name="citation50b"></a><a href="#footnote50b" +class="citation">[50b]</a> her ears on<br /> +The book and cushion of the parson.”</p> +<p>“Methinks the rhyme at the latter end might be +bettered,” said Sir Thomas. “The remainder is +indited not unaptly. But, young man, never having obtained +the permission of my honourable dame to praise her in guise of +poetry, I cannot see all the merit I would fain discern in the +verses. She ought first to have been sounded; and it being +certified that she disapproved not her glorification, then might +it be trumpeted forth into the world below.”</p> +<p>“Most worshipful knight,” replied the youngster, +“I never could take it in hand to sound a dame of +quality,—they are all of them too deep and too practised +for me, and have better and abler men about ’em. And +surely I did imagine to myself that if it were asked of any +honourable man (omitting to speak of ladies) whether he would +give permission to be openly praised, he would reject the +application as a gross offence. It appeareth to me that +even to praise one’s self, although it be shameful, is less +shameful than to throw a burning coal into the incense-box that +another doth hold to waft before us, and then to snift and simper +over it, with maidenly, wishful coyness, as if forsooth one had +no hand in setting it asmoke.”</p> +<p>Then did Sir Thomas, in his zeal to instruct the ignorant, and +so make the lowly hold up their heads, say unto him,—</p> +<p>“Nay, but all the great do thus. Thou must not +praise them without leave and license. Praise unpermitted +is plebeian praise. It is presumption to suppose that thou +knowest enough of the noble and the great to discover their high +qualities. They alone could manifest them unto thee. +It requireth much discernment and much time to enucleate and +bring into light their abstruse wisdom and gravely featured +virtues. Those of ordinary men lie before thee in thy daily +walks; thou mayest know them by converse at their tables, as thou +knowest the little tame squirrel that chippeth his nuts in the +open sunshine of a bowling-green. But beware how thou +enterest the awful arbours of the great, who conceal their +magnanimity in the depths of their hearts, as lions +do.”</p> +<p>He then paused; and observing the youth in deep and earnest +meditation over the fruits of his experience, as one who tasted +and who would fain digest them; he gave him encouragement, and +relieved the weight of his musings by kind interrogation.</p> +<p>“So, then, these verses are thine own?” The +youth answered,—</p> +<p>“Sir, I must confess my fault.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And who was the shepherd written here <i>Second +Shepherd</i>, that had the ill manners to interrupt thee? +Methinks, in helping thee to mount the saddle, he pretty nigh +tossed thee over, <a name="citation53a"></a><a +href="#footnote53a" class="citation">[53a]</a> with his jerks and +quirks.”</p> +<p>Without waiting for any answer, his worship continued his +interrogations.</p> +<p>“But do you woolstaplers call yourselves by the style +and title of shepherds?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Verily, sir, do we; and I trust by right. The +last owner of any place is called the master more properly than +the dead and gone who once held it. If that be true (and +who doubts it?) we, who have the last of the sheep, namely, the +wool and skin, and who buy all of all the flock, surely may more +properly be called shepherds than those idle vagrants who tend +them only for a season, selling a score or purchasing a score, as +may happen.”</p> +<p>Here Sir Thomas did pause a while, and then said unto Master +Silas,—</p> +<p>“My own cogitations, and not this stripling, have +induced me to consider and to conclude a weighty matter for +knightly scholarship. I never could rightly understand +before how Colin Clout, and sundry others calling themselves +shepherds, should argue like doctors in law, physic, and +divinity.</p> +<p>“Silas! they were woolstaplers; and they must have +exercised their wits in dealing with tithe-proctors and parsons, +and moreover with fellows of colleges from our two learned +universities, who have sundry lands held under them, as thou +knowest, and take the small tithes in kind. Colin Clout, +methinks, from his extensive learning, might have acquired enough +interest with the Queen’s Highness to change his name for +the better, and, furthermore, her royal license to carry armorial +bearings, in no peril of taint from so unsavoury an +appellation.”</p> +<p>Master Silas did interrupt this discourse, by +saying,—</p> +<p>“May it please your worship, the constable is +waiting.”</p> +<p>Whereat Sir Thomas said, tartly,—</p> +<p>“And let him wait.” <a name="citation55a"></a><a +href="#footnote55a" class="citation">[55a]</a></p> +<p>Then to me,—</p> +<p>“I hope we have done with verses, and are not to be +befooled by the lad’s nonsense touching mermaids or worse +creatures.”</p> +<p>Then to Will,—</p> +<p>“William Shakspeare! we live in a Christian land, a land +of great toleration and forbearance. Three score cartsful +of fagots a year are fully sufficient to clear our English air +from every pestilence of heresy and witchcraft. It hath not +alway been so, God wot! Innocent and guilty took their +turns before the fire, like geese and capons. The spit was +never cold; the cook’s sleeve was ever above the +elbow. Countrymen came down from distant villages into +towns and cities, to see perverters whom they had never heard of, +and to learn the righteousness of hatred. When heretics +waxed fewer the religious began to grumble that God, in losing +his enemies, had also lost his avengers.</p> +<p>“Do not thou, William Shakspeare, dig the hole for thy +own stake. If thou canst not make men wise, do not make +them merry at thy cost. We are not to be paganised any +more. Having struck from our calendars, and unnailed from +our chapels, many dozens of decent saints, with as little +compunction and remorse as unlucky lads throw frog-spawn and +tadpoles out of stagnant ditches, never let us think of bringing +back among us the daintier divinities they ousted. All +these are the devil’s imps, beautiful as they appear in +what we falsely call works of genius, which really and truly are +the devil’s own,—statues more graceful than humanity, +pictures more living than life, eloquence that raised single +cities above empires, poor men above kings. If these are +not Satan’s works, where are they? I will tell thee +where they are likewise. In holding vain converse with +false gods. The utmost we can allow in propriety is to call +a knight Phœbus, and a dame Diana. They are not meat +for every trencher.</p> +<p>“We must now proceed straightforward with the business +on which thou comest before us. What further sayest thou, +witness?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“His face was toward me; I saw it clearly. The +graver man followed him into the punt, and said, roughly, +‘We shall get hanged as sure as thou pipest.’</p> +<p>“Whereunto he answered,—</p> +<p class="poetry">‘Naturally, as fall upon the ground<br /> +The leaves in winter and the girls in spring.’</p> +<p>And then began he again with the mermaid; whereat the graver +man clapped a hand before his mouth, and swore he should take her +in wedlock, to have and to hold, if he sang another stave. +‘And thou shalt be her pretty little bridemaid,’ +quoth he gaily to the graver man, chucking him under the +chin.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And what did Carnaby say unto thee, or what didst thou +say unto Carnaby?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“Carnaby said unto me, somewhat tauntingly, ‘The +big squat man, that lay upon thy bread-basket like a nightmare, +is a punt at last, it seems.’</p> +<p>“‘Punt, and more too,’ answered I. +‘Tarry awhile, and thou shalt see this punt (so let me call +it) lead them into temptation, and swamp them or carry them to +the gallows; I would not stay else.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And what didst thou, Joseph Carnaby?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Finding him neither slack nor shy, I readily +tarried. We knelt down opposite each other, and said our +prayers; and he told me he was now comfortable. ‘The +evil one,’ said he, ‘hath enough to mind yonder: he +shall not hurt us.’</p> +<p>“Never was a sweeter night, had there been but some mild +ale under it, which any one would have sworn it was made +for. The milky way looked like a long drift of hail-stones +on a sunny ridge.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Hast thou done describing?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Yea, an please your worship.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“God’s blessing be upon thee, honest +Carnaby! I feared a moon-fall. In our days nobody can +think about a plum-pudding but the moon comes down upon it. +I warrant ye this lad here hath as many moons in his poems as the +Saracens had in their banners.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I have not hatched mine yet, sir. Whenever I do I +trust it will be worth taking to market.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“I said all I know of the stars; but Master Euseby can +run over half a score and upward, here and there. ‘Am +I right, or wrong?’ cried he, spreading on the back of my +hand all his fingers, stiff as antlers and cold as icicles. +‘Look up, Joseph! Joseph! there is no Lucifer in the +firmament!’ I myself did feel queerish and qualmy +upon hearing that a star was missing, being no master of +gainsaying it; and I abased my eyes, and entreated of Euseby to +do in like manner. And in this posture did we both of us +remain; and the missing star did not disquiet me; and all the +others seemed as if they knew us and would not tell of us; and +there was peace and pleasantness over sky and earth. And I +said to my companion,—</p> +<p>“‘How quiet now, good Master Euseby, are all +God’s creatures in this meadow, because they never pry into +such high matters, but breathe sweetly among the pig-nuts. +The only things we hear or see stirring are the glow-worms and +dormice, as though they were sent for our edification, teaching +us to rest contented with our own little light, and to come out +and seek our sustenance where none molest or thwart +us.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Ye would have it thus, no doubt, when your pockets and +pouches are full of gins and nooses.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“A bridle upon thy dragon’s tongue! And do +thou, Master Joseph, quit the dormice and glow-worms, and tell us +whither did the rogues go.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“I wot not after they had crossed the river they were +soon out of sight and hearing.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Went they toward Charlecote?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Their first steps were thitherward.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Did they come back unto the punt?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“They went down the stream in it, and crossed the Avon +some fourscore yards below where we were standing. They +came back in it, and moored it to the sedges in which it had +stood before.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“How long were they absent?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Within an hour, or thereabout, all the three men +returned. Will Shakspeare and another were sitting in the +middle, the third punted.</p> +<p>“‘Remember now, gentles!’ quoth William +Shakspeare, ‘the road we have taken is henceforward a +footpath for ever, according to law.’</p> +<p>“‘How so?’ asked the punter, turning toward +him,</p> +<p>“‘Forasmuch as a corpse hath passed along +it,’ answered he.</p> +<p>“Whereupon both Euseby and myself did forthwith fall +upon our faces, commending our souls unto the Lord.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It was then really the dead body that quivered so +fearfully upon the water, covering all the punt! Christ, +deliver us! I hope the keeper they murdered was not +Jeremiah. His wife and four children would be very +chargeable, and the man was by no means amiss. Proceed! +what further?”</p> +<p>“On reaching the bank, ‘I never sat pleasanter in +my lifetime,’ said William Shakspeare, ‘than upon +this carcass.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Lord have mercy upon us! Thou upon a carcass, at +thy years!”</p> +<p>And the knight drew back his chair half an ell farther from +the table, and his lips quivered at the thought of such +inhumanity.</p> +<p>“And what said he more? and what did he?” asked +the knight.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“He patted it smartly, and said, ‘Lug it out; +break it.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“These four poor children! who shall feed +them?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir! in God’s name have you forgotten that +Jeremiah is gone to Nuneaton to see his father, and that the +murdered man is the buck?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“They killed the buck likewise. But what, ye +cowardly varlets! have ye been deceiving me all this time? +And thou, youngster! couldst thou say nothing to clear up the +case? Thou shalt smart for it. Methought I had lost +by a violent death the best servant ever man had—righteous, +if there be no blame in saying it, as the prophet whose name he +beareth, and brave as the lion of Judah.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, if these men could deceive your worship for a +moment, they might deceive me for ever. I could not guess +what their story aimed at, except my ruin. I am inclined to +lean for once toward the opinion of Master Silas, and to believe +it was really the stolen buck on which this William (if indeed +there is any truth at all in the story) was sitting.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What more hast thou for me that is not enigma or +parable?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“I did not see the carcass, man’s or +beast’s, may it please your worship, and I have recited and +can recite that only which I saw and heard. After the words +of lugging out and breaking it, knives were drawn +accordingly. It was no time to loiter or linger. We +crope back under the shadow of the alders and hazels on the high +bank that bordereth Mickle Meadow, and, making straight for the +public road, hastened homeward.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Hearing this deposition, dost thou affirm the like upon +thy oath, Master Euseby Treen, or dost thou vary in aught +essential?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“Upon my oath I do depose and affirm the like, and truly +the identical same; and I will never more vary upon aught +essential.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I do now further demand of thee whether thou knowest +anything more appertaining unto this business.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, verily; that your worship may never hold me for +timorsome and superstitious, I do furthermore add that some other +than deer-stealers was abroad. In sign whereof, although it +was the dryest and clearest night of the season, my jerkin was +damp inside and outside when I reached my house-door.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I warrant thee, Euseby, the damp began not at the +outside. A word in thy ear—Lucifer was thy tapster, I +trow.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Irreverent swine! hast no awe nor shame. Thou +hast aggravated thy offence, William Shakspeare, by thy +foul-mouthedness.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I must remind your worship that he not only has +committed this iniquity afore, but hath pawed the puddle he made, +and relapsed into it after due caution and reproof. God +forbid that what he spake against me, out of the gall of his +proud stomach, should move me. I defy him, a low, ignorant +wretch, a rogue and vagabond, a thief and cut-throat, a — +<a name="citation66a"></a><a href="#footnote66a" +class="citation">[66a]</a> monger and mutton-eater.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Your worship doth hear the learned clerk’s +testimony in my behalf. ‘Out of the mouth of babes +and sucklings’—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas, the youth has failings—a madcap; but he is +pious.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Alas, no, sir! Would I were! But Sir Silas, +like the prophet, came to curse, and was forced to bless me, even +me, a sinner, a mutton-eater!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou urgedst him. He beareth no ill-will toward +thee. Thou knewedst, I suspect, that the blackness in his +mouth proceeded from a natural cause.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The Lord is merciful! I was brought hither in +jeopardy; I shall return in joy. Whether my innocence be +declared or otherwise, my piety and knowledge will be forwarded +and increased; for your worship will condescend, even from the +judgment-seat, to enlighten the ignorant where a soul shall be +saved or lost. And I, even I, may trespass a moment on your +courtesy. I quail at the words <i>natural cause</i>. +Be there any such?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Youth! I never thought thee so staid. Thou +hast, for these many months, been represented unto me as one +dissolute and light, much given unto mummeries and mysteries, +wakes and carousals, cudgel-fighters and mountebanks and wanton +women. They do also represent of thee—I hope it may +be without foundation—that thou enactest the parts, not +simply of foresters and fairies, girls in the green-sickness and +friars, lawyers and outlaws, but likewise, having small reverence +for station, of kings and queens, knights and privy-counsellors, +in all their glory. It hath been whispered, moreover, and +the testimony of these two witnesses doth appear in some measure +to countenance and confirm it, that thou hast at divers times +this last summer been seen and heard alone, inasmuch as human eye +may discover, on the narrow slip of greensward between the Avon +and the chancel, distorting thy body like one possessed, and +uttering strange language, like unto incantation. This, +however, cometh not before me. Take heed! take heed unto +thy ways; there are graver things in law even than homicide and +deer-stealing.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“And strong against him. Folks have been consumed +at the stake for pettier felonies and upon weaker +evidence.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“To that anon.”</p> +<p>William Shakspeare did hold down his head, answering +nought. And Sir Thomas spake again unto him, as one mild +and fatherly, if so be that such a word may be spoken of a knight +and parliament-man. And these are the words he +spake:—</p> +<p>“Reason and ruminate with thyself now. To pass +over and pretermit the danger of representing the actions of the +others, and mainly of lawyers and churchmen, the former of whom +do pardon no offences, and the latter those only against God, +having no warrant for more, canst thou believe it innocent to +counterfeit kings and queens? Supposest thou that if the +impression of their faces on a farthing be felonious and +rope-worthy, the imitation of head and body, voice and bearing, +plume and strut, crown and mantle, and everything else that +maketh them royal and glorious, be aught less? Perpend, +young man, perpend! Consider, who among inferior mortals +shall imitate them becomingly? Dreamest thou they talk and +act like checkmen at Banbury fair? How can thy shallow +brain suffice for their vast conceptions? How darest thou +say, as they do: ‘Hang this fellow; quarter that; flay; +mutilate; stab; shoot; press; hook; torture; burn +alive’? These are royalties. Who appointed thee +to such office? The Holy Ghost? He alone can confer +it; but when wert thou anointed?”</p> +<p>William was so zealous in storing up these verities that he +looked as though he were unconscious that the pouring-out was +over. He started, which he had not done before, at the +voice of Master Silas; but soon recovered his complacency, and +smiled with much serenity at being called low-minded varlet.</p> +<p>“Low-minded varlet!” cried Master Silas, most +contemptuously, “dost thou imagine that king calleth king, +like thy chums, <i>filcher</i> and <i>fibber</i>, +<i>whirligig</i> and <i>nincompoop</i>? Instead of this low +vulgarity and sordid idleness, ending in nothing, they throw at +one another such fellows as thee by the thousand, and when they +have cleared the land, render God thanks and make +peace.”</p> +<p>Willy did now sigh out his ignorance of these matters; and he +sighed, mayhap, too, at the recollection of the peril he had run +into, and had ne’er a word on the nail. <a +name="citation70a"></a><a href="#footnote70a" +class="citation">[70a]</a></p> +<p>The bowels of Sir Thomas waxed tenderer and tenderer; and he +opened his lips in this fashion:—</p> +<p>“Stripling! I would now communicate unto thee, on +finding thee docile and assentaneous, the instruction thou +needest on the signification of the words <i>natural cause</i>, +if thy duty toward thy neighbour had been first instilled into +thee.”</p> +<p>Whereupon Master Silas did interpose, for the dinner hour was +drawing nigh.</p> +<p>“We cannot do all at once,” quoth he. +“Coming out of order, it might harm him. Malt before +hops, the world over, or the beer muddies.”</p> +<p>But Sir Thomas was not to be pricked out of his form even by +so shrewd a pricker; and like unto one who heareth not, he +continued to look most graciously on the homely vessel that stood +ready to receive his wisdom.</p> +<p>“Thy mind,” said he, “being unprepared for +higher cogitations, and the groundwork and religious duty not +being well rammer-beaten and flinted, I do pass over this +supererogatory point, and inform thee rather, that bucks and +swans and herons have something in their very names announcing +them of knightly appurtenance; and (God forfend that evil do +ensue therefrom!) that a goose on the common, or a game-cock on +the loft of a cottager or villager, may be seized, bagged, and +abducted, with far less offence to the laws. In a buck +there is something so gainly and so grand, he treadeth the earth +with such ease and such agility, he abstaineth from all other +animals with such punctilious avoidance, one would imagine God +created him when he created knighthood. In the swan there +is such purity, such coldness is there in the element he +inhabiteth, such solitude of station, that verily he doth remind +me of the Virgin Queen herself. Of the heron I have less to +say, not having him about me; but I never heard his lordly croak +without the conceit that it resembled a chancellor’s or a +primate’s.</p> +<p>“I do perceive, William Shakspeare, thy compunction and +contrition.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I was thinking, may it please your worship, of the +game-cock and the goose, having but small notion of herons. +This doctrine of abduction, please your worship, hath been alway +inculcated by the soundest of our judges. Would they had +spoken on other points with the same clearness. How many +unfortunates might thereby have been saved from crossing the +Cordilleras!” <a name="citation72a"></a><a +href="#footnote72a" class="citation">[72a]</a></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, ay! they have been fain to fly the country at last, +thither or elsewhere.”</p> +<p>And then did Sir Thomas call unto him Master Silas, and +say,—</p> +<p>“Walk we into the bay-window. And thou mayest +come, Ephraim.”</p> +<p>And when we were there together, I, Master Silas, and his +worship, did his worship say unto the chaplain, but oftener +looking toward me,—</p> +<p>“I am not ashamed to avouch that it goeth against me to +hang this young fellow, richly as the offence in its own nature +doth deserve it, he talketh so reasonably; not indeed so +reasonably, but so like unto what a reasonable man may listen to +and reflect on. There is so much, too, of compassion for +others in hard cases, and something so very near in semblance to +innocence itself in that airy swing of lightheartedness about +him. I cannot fix my eyes (as one would say) on the +shifting and sudden <i>shade-and-shine</i>, which cometh back to +me, do what I will, and mazes me in a manner, and blinks +me.”</p> +<p>At this juncture I was ready to fall upon the ground before +his worship, and clasp his knees for Willy’s pardon. +But he had so many points about him, that I feared to discompose +’em, and thus make bad worse. Besides which, Master +Silas left me but scanty space for good resolutions, +crying,—</p> +<p>“He may be committed, to save time. Afterward he +may be sentenced to death, or he may not.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“’T were shame upon me were he not; ’t were +indication that I acted unadvisedly in the commitment.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“The penalty of the law may be commuted, if expedient, +on application to the fountain of mercy in London.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Maybe, Silas, those shall be standing round the fount +of mercy who play in idleness and wantonness with its waters, and +let them not flow widely, nor take their natural course. +Dutiful gallants may encompass it, and it may linger among the +flowers they throw into it, and never reach the parched lip on +the wayside.</p> +<p>“These are homely thoughts—thoughts from a-field, +thoughts for the study and housekeeper’s room. But +whenever I have given utterance unto them, as my heart hath often +prompted me with beatings at the breast, my hearers seemed to +bear toward me more true and kindly affection than my richest +fancies and choicest phraseologies could purchase.</p> +<p>“’T were convenient to bethink thee, should any +other great man’s park have been robbed this season, no +judge upon the bench will back my recommendation for mercy. +And, indeed, how could I expect it? Things may soon be +brought to such a pass that their lordships shall scarcely find +three haunches each upon the circuit.”</p> +<p>“Well, Sir!” quoth Master Silas, “you have a +right to go on in your own way. Make him only give up the +girl.”</p> +<p>Here Sir Thomas reddened with righteous indignation, and +answered,—</p> +<p>“I cannot think it! such a stripling! poor, penniless; +it must be some one else.” And now Master Silas did +redden in his turn, redder than Sir Thomas, and first asked +me,—</p> +<p>“What the devil do you stare at?” And then +asked his worship,—</p> +<p>“Who should it be if not the rogue?” and his lips +turned as blue as a blue-bell. Then Sir Thomas left the +window, and again took his chair, and having stood so long on his +legs, groaned upon it to ease him. His worship scowled with +all his might, and looked exceedingly wroth and vengeful at the +culprit, and said unto him,—</p> +<p>“Harkye, knave! I have been conferring with my +learned clerk and chaplain in what manner I may, with the least +severity, rid the county (which thou disgracest) of +thee.”</p> +<p>William Shakspeare raised up his eyes, modestly and fearfully, +and said slowly these few words, which, had they been a better +and nobler man’s, would deserve to be written in letters of +gold. I, not having that art nor substance, do therefore +write them in my largest and roundest character, and do leave +space about ’em, according to their rank and +dignity:—</p> +<p>“Worshipful sir!”</p> +<p>“A <span class="smcap">word in the ear is often as good +as a halter under it, and saves the groat</span>.”</p> +<p>“Thou discoursest well,” said Sir Thomas, +“but others can discourse well likewise. Thou shalt +avoid; I am resolute.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I supplicate your honour to impart unto me, in your +wisdom, the mode and means whereby I may surcease to be +disgraceful to the county.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I am not bloody-minded.</p> +<p>“First, thou shalt have the fairest and fullest +examination. Much hath been deposed against thee; something +may come forth for thy advantage. I will not thy death; +thou shalt not die.</p> +<p>“The laws have loopholes, like castles, both to shoot +from and to let folks down.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“That pointed ear would look the better for paring, and +that high forehead can hold many letters.”</p> +<p>Whereupon did William, poor lad! turn deadly pale, but spake +not.</p> +<p>Sir Thomas then abated a whit of his severity, and said, +staidly,—</p> +<p>“Testimony doth appear plain and positive against thee; +nevertheless am I minded and prompted to aid thee myself, in +disclosing and unfolding what thou couldst not of thine own wits, +in furtherance of thine own defence.</p> +<p>“One witness is persuaded and assured of the evil spirit +having been abroad, and the punt appeared unto him diversely from +what it appeared unto the other.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“If the evil spirit produced one appearance, he might +have produced all, with deference to the graver judgment of your +worship.</p> +<p>“If what seemed <i>punt</i> was <i>devil</i>, what +seemed <i>buck</i> might have been <i>devil</i> too; nay, more +easily, the horns being forthcoming.</p> +<p>“Thieves and reprobates do resemble him more nearly +still; and it would be hard if he could not make free with their +bodies, when he has their souls already.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“But, then, those voices! and thou thyself, Will +Shakspeare!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“O might I kiss the hand of my deliverer, whose +clear-sightedness throweth such manifest and plenary light upon +my innocence!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“How so? What light, in God’s name, have I +thrown upon it as yet?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Oh! those voices! those faeries and spirits! whence +came they? None can deal with ’em but the devil, the +parson, and witches. And does not the devil oftentimes take +the very form, features, and habiliments of knights, and bishops, +and other good men, to lead them into temptation and destroy +them? or to injure their good name, in failure of seduction?</p> +<p>“He is sure of the wicked; he lets them go their ways +out of hand.</p> +<p>“I think your worship once delivered some such +observation, in more courtly guise, which I would not presume to +ape. If it was not your worship, it was our glorious lady +the queen, or the wise Master Walsingham, or the great Lord +Cecil. I may have marred and broken it, as sluts do a +pancake, in the turning.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Why! ay, indeed, I had occasion once to remark as +much.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“So have I heard in many places; although I was not +present when Matthew Atterend fought about it for the honour of +Kineton hundred.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Fought about it!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“As your honour recollects. Not but on other +occasions he would have fought no less bravely for the +queen.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“We must get thee through, were it only for thy +memory,—the most precious gift among the mental powers that +Providence hath bestowed upon us. I had half forgotten the +thing myself. Thou mayest, in time, take thy satchel for +London, and aid good old Master Holingshed.</p> +<p>“We must clear thee, Will! I am slow to surmise +that there is blood upon thy hands!”</p> +<p>His worship’s choler had all gone down again; and he sat +as cool and comfortable as a man sitteth to be shaved. Then +called he on Euseby Treen, and said,—</p> +<p>“Euseby Treen! tell us whether thou observedst anything +unnoticed or unsaid by the last witness.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Euseby +Treen</span>.</p> +<p>“One thing only, sir!</p> +<p>“When they had passed the water an owlet hooted after +them; and methought, if they had any fear of God before their +eyes they would have turned back, he cried so lustily.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, I cannot forbear to take the owlet out of your +mouth. He knocks them all on the head like so many +mice. Likely story! One fellow hears him cry lustily, +the other doth not hear him at all!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“Not hear him! A body might have heard him at +Barford or Sherbourne.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Why didst not name him? Canst not answer +me?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Joseph +Carnaby</span>.</p> +<p>“<i>He</i> doubted whether punt were punt; I doubted +whether owlet were owlet, after Lucifer was away from the +roll-call.</p> +<p>“We say, <i>Speak the truth and shame the devil</i>; but +shaming him is one thing, your honour, and facing him +another! I have heard owlets, but never owlet like +him.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The Lord be praised! All, at last, a-running to +my rescue.</p> +<p>“Owlet, indeed! Your worship may have remembered +in an ancient book—indeed, what book is so ancient that +your worship doth not remember it?—a book printed by Doctor +Faustus—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Before he dealt with the devil?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Not long before, it being the very book that made the +devil think it worth his while to deal with him.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What chapter thereof wouldst thou recall unto my +recollection?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“That concerning owls, with the grim print afore it.</p> +<p>“Doctor Faustus, the wise doctor, who knew other than +owls and owlets, knew the tempter in that form. Faustus was +not your man for fancies and figments; and he tells us that, to +his certain knowledge, it was verily an owl’s face that +whispered so much mischief in the ear of our first parent.</p> +<p>“One plainly sees it, quoth Doctor Faustus, under that +gravity which in human life we call dignity, but of which we read +nothing in the Gospel. We despise the hangman, we detest +the hanged; and yet, saith Duns Scotus, could we turn aside the +heavy curtain, or stand high enough a-tiptoe to peep through its +chinks and crevices, we should perhaps find these two characters +to stand justly among the most innocent in the drama. He +who blinketh the eyes of the poor wretch about to die doeth it +out of mercy; those who preceded him, bidding him in the garb of +justice to shed the blood of his fellow-man, had less or +none. So they hedge well their own grounds, what care +they? For this do they catch at stakes and thorns, at quick +and rotten—”</p> +<p>Here Master Silas interrupted the discourse of the +devil’s own doctor, delivered and printed by him before he +was the devil’s, to which his worship had listened very +attentively and delightedly. But Master Silas could keep +his temper no longer, and cried, fiercely, “Seditious +sermonizer! hold thy peace, or thou shalt answer for ’t +before convocation.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas! thou dost not approve, then, the doctrine of +this Doctor Duns?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Heretical Rabbi!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“<i>If two of a trade can never agree</i>, yet surely +two of a name may.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Who dares call me heretical? who dares call me rabbi? +who dares call me Scotus? Spider! spider! yea, thou hast +one corner left; I espy thee, and my broom shall reach thee +yet.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I perceive that Master Silas doth verily believe I have +been guilty of suborning the witnesses, at least the last, the +best man (if any difference) of the two. No, sir, no. +If my family and friends have united their wits and money for +this purpose, be the crime of perverted justice on their +heads! They injure whom they intended to serve. +Improvident men!—if the young may speak thus of the +elderly; could they imagine to themselves that your worship was +to be hoodwinked and led astray?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“No man shall ever dare to hoodwink me, to lead me +astray,—no, nor lead me anywise. Powerful +defence! Heyday! Sit quiet, Master +Treen!—Euseby Treen! dost hear me? Clench thy fist +again, sirrah! and I clap thee in the stocks.</p> +<p>“Joseph Carnaby! do not scratch thy breast nor thy pate +before me.”</p> +<p>Now Joseph had not only done that in his wrath, but had +unbuckled his leathern garter, fit instrument for strife and +blood, and peradventure would have smitten, had not the knight, +with magisterial authority, interposed.</p> +<p>His worship said unto him, gravely,—</p> +<p>“Joseph Carnaby! Joseph Carnaby! hast thou never +read the words ‘<i>Put up thy sword</i>’?”</p> +<p>“Subornation! your worship!” cried Master +Joe. “The fellow hath ne’er a shilling in +leather or till, and many must go to suborn one like +me.”</p> +<p>“I do believe it of thee,” said Sir Thomas; +“but patience, man! patience! he rather tended toward +exculpating thee. Ye have far to walk for dinner; ye may +depart.”</p> +<p>They went accordingly.</p> +<p>Then did Sir Thomas say, “These are hot men, +Silas!”</p> +<p>And Master Silas did reply unto him,—</p> +<p>“There are brands that would set fire to the bulrushes +in the mill-pool. I know these twain for quiet folks, +having coursed with them over Wincott.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas then said unto William, “It behooveth thee to +stand clear of yon Joseph, unless when thou mayest call to thy +aid the Matthew Atterend thou speakest of. He did then +fight valiantly, eh?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“His cause fought valiantly; his fist but seconded +it. He won,—proving the golden words to be no +property of our lady’s, although her Highness hath never +disclaimed them.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What art thou saying?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“So I heard from a preacher at Oxford, who had preached +at Easter in the chapel-royal of Westminster.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou! why, how could that happen? Oxford! +chapel-royal!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“And to whom I said (your worship will forgive my +forwardness), ‘<i>I have the honour</i>, <i>sir</i>, <i>to +live within two measured miles of the very Sir Thomas Lucy who +spake that</i>.’ And I vow I said it without any hope +or belief that he would invite me, as he did, to dine with him +thereupon.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“There be nigh upon three miles betwixt this house and +Stratford bridge-end.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I dropt a mile in my pride and exultation, God forgive +me! I would not conceal my fault.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Wonderful! that a preacher so learned as to preach +before majesty in the chapel-royal should not have caught thee +tripping over a whole lawful mile,—a good third of the +distance between my house and the cross-roads. This is +incomprehensible in a scholar.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“God willed that he should become my teacher, and in the +bowels of his mercy hid my shame.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“How camest thou into the converse of such eminent and +ghostly men?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“How, indeed?—everything against me!”</p> +<p>He sighed, and entered into a long discourse, which Master +Silas would at sundry times have interrupted, but that Sir Thomas +more than once frowned upon him, even as he had frowned +heretofore on young Will, who thus began and continued his +narration:—</p> +<p>“Hearing the preacher preach at Saint Mary’s (for +being about my father’s business on Saturday, and not +choosing to be a-horseback on Sundays, albeit time-pressed, I +footed it to Oxford for my edification on the Lord’s day, +leaving the sorrel with Master Hal Webster of the <i>Tankard and +Unicorn</i>)—hearing him preach, as I was saying, before +the University in St. Mary’s Church, and hearing him use +moreover the very words that Matthew fought about, I was +impatient (God forgive me!) for the end and consummation, and I +thought I never should hear those precious words that ease every +man’s heart, ‘<i>Now to conclude</i>.’ +However, come they did. I hurried out among the foremost, +and thought the congratulations of the other doctors and dons +would last for ever. He walked sharply off, and few cared +to keep his pace,—for they are lusty men mostly; and +spiteful bad women had breathed <a name="citation89a"></a><a +href="#footnote89a" class="citation">[89a]</a> in the faces of +some among them, or the gowns had got between their legs. +For my part, I was not to be balked; so, tripping on aside him, I +looked in his face askance. Whether he misgave or how, he +turned his eyes downward. No matter—have him I +would. I licked my lips and smacked them loud and smart, +and scarcely venturing to nod, I gave my head such a sort of +motion as dace and roach give an angler’s quill when they +begin to bite. And this fairly hooked him.”</p> +<p>“‘Young gentleman!’ said he, ‘where is +your gown?’</p> +<p>“‘Reverend sir!’ said I, ‘I am +unworthy to wear one.’</p> +<p>“‘A proper youth, nevertheless, and mightily +well-spoken!’ he was pleased to say.</p> +<p>“‘Your reverence hath given me heart, which failed +me,’ was my reply. ‘Ah! your reverence! those +words about the devil were spicy words; but, under favour, I do +know the brook-side they sprang and flowered by. ’T +is just where it runs into Avon; ’t is called +Hogbrook.’</p> +<p>“‘Right!’ quoth he, putting his hand gently +on my shoulder; ‘but if I had thought it needful to say so +in my sermon, I should have affronted the seniors of the +University, since many claim them, and some peradventure would +fain transpose them into higher places, and giving up all right +and title to them, would accept in lieu thereof the poor +recompense of a mitre.’</p> +<p>“I wished (unworthy wish for a Sunday!) I had Matthew +Atterend in the midst of them. He would have given them +skulls mitre-fashioned, if mitres are cloven now as we see them +on ancient monuments. Matt is your milliner for gentles, +who think no more harm of purloining rich saws in a mitre than +lane-born boys do of embezzling hazel-nuts in a woollen +cap. I did not venture to expound or suggest my thoughts, +but feeling my choler rise higher and higher, I craved permission +to make my obeisance and depart.</p> +<p>“‘Where dost thou lodge, young man?’ said +the preacher.</p> +<p>“‘At the public,’ said I, ‘where my +father customarily lodgeth. There, too, is a mitre of the +old fashion, swinging on the sign-post in the middle of the +street.’</p> +<p>“‘Respectable tavern enough!’ quoth the +reverend doctor; ‘and worthy men do turn in there, even +quality,—Master Davenant, Master Powel, Master Whorwood, +aged and grave men. But taverns are Satan’s chapels, +and are always well attended on the Lord’s day, to twit +him. Hast thou no friend in such a city as +Oxford?’</p> +<p>“‘Only the landlady of the Mitre,’ said +I.</p> +<p>“‘A comely woman,’ quoth he, ‘but too +young for business by half.</p> +<p>“‘Stay thou with me to-day, and fare frugally, but +safely.</p> +<p>“‘What may thy name be, and where is thy +abode?’</p> +<p>“‘William Shakspeare, of Stratford-upon-Avon, at +your service, sir.’</p> +<p>“‘And welcome,’ said he; ‘thy father +ere now hath bought our college wool. A truly good man we +ever found him; and I doubt not he hath educated his son to +follow him in his paths. There is in the blood of man, as +in the blood of animals, that which giveth the temper and +disposition. These require nurture and culture. But +what nurture will turn flint-stones into garden mould? or what +culture rear cabbages in the quarries of Hedington Hill? To +be well born is the greatest of all God’s primary +blessings, young man, and there are many well born among the poor +and needy. Thou art not of the indigent and destitute, who +have great temptations; thou art not of the wealthy and affluent, +who have greater still. God hath placed thee, William +Shakspeare, in that pleasant island, on one side whereof are the +sirens, on the other the harpies, but inhabiting the coasts on +the wider continent, and unable to make their talons felt, or +their voices heard by thee. Unite with me in prayer and +thanksgiving for the blessings thus vouchsafed. We must not +close the heart when the finger of God would touch it. +Enough, if thou sayest only, <i>My soul</i>, <i>praise thou the +Lord</i>!’”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas said, “<i>Amen</i>!” Master Silas +was mute for the moment, but then quoth he, “I can say amen +too in the proper place.”</p> +<p>The knight of Charlecote, who appeared to have been much taken +with this conversation, then interrogated Willy:—</p> +<p>“What farther might have been thy discourse with the +doctor? or did he discourse at all at trencher-time? Thou +must have been very much abashed to sit down at table with one +who weareth a pure lambskin across his shoulder, and moreover a +pink hood.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Faith! was I, your honour! and could neither utter nor +gulp.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“These are good signs. Thou hast not lost all +grace.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“With the encouragement of Dr. Glaston—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And was it Dr. Glaston?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Said I not so?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“The learnedst clerk in Christendom! a very Friar +Bacon! The Pope offered a hundred marks in Latin to who +should eviscerate or evirate him,—poisons very potent, +whereat the Italians are handy,—so apostolic and desperate +a doctor is Doctor Glaston! so acute in his quiddities, and so +resolute in his bearing! He knows the dark arts, but stands +aloof from them. Prithee, what were his words unto +thee?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Manna, sir, manna! pure from the desert!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, but what spake he? for most sermons are that, and +likewise many conversations after dinner.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He spake of the various races and qualities of men, as +before stated; but chiefly on the elect and reprobate, and how to +distinguish and know them.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Did he go so far?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He told me that by such discussion he should say enough +to keep me constantly out of evil company.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“See there! see there! and yet thou art come before +me!—Can nothing warn thee?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I dare not dissemble, nor feign, nor hold aught back, +although it be to my confusion. As well may I speak at once +the whole truth for your worship could find it out if I +abstained.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, that I should indeed, and shortly. But, come +now, I am sated of thy follies and roguish tricks, and yearn +after the sound doctrine of that pious man. What expounded +the grave Glaston upon signs and tokens whereby ye shall be +known?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Wonderful things! things beyond belief! +‘There be certain men,’ quoth he—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“He began well. This promises. But why canst +not thou go on?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘There be certain men, who, rubbing one corner of +the eye, do see a peacock’s feather at the other, and even +fire. We know, William, what that fire is, and whence it +cometh. Those wicked men, William, all have their marks +upon them, be it only a corn, or a wart, or a mole, or a hairy +ear, or a toe-nail turned inward. Sufficient, and more than +sufficient! He knoweth his own by less tokens. There +is not one of them that doth not sweat at some secret sin +committed, or some inclination toward it unsnaffled.</p> +<p>“‘Certain men are there, likewise, who venerate so +little the glorious works of the Creator that I myself have known +them to sneeze at the sun! Sometimes it was against their +will, and they would gladly have checked it had they been able; +but they were forced to shew what they are. In our carnal +state we say, <i>What is one against numbers</i>? In +another we shall truly say, <i>What are numbers against +one</i>?’”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas did ejaculate, “<i>Amen</i>! +<i>Amen</i>!” And then his lips moved silently, +piously, and quickly; and then said he, audibly and +loudly,—</p> +<p>“<i>And make us at last true Israelites</i>!”</p> +<p>After which he turned to young Willy, and said, +anxiously,—</p> +<p>“Hast thou more, lad? give us it while the Lord +strengtheneth.”</p> +<p>“Sir,” answered Willy, “although I thought +it no trouble, on my return to the <i>Mitre</i>, to write down +every word I could remember, and although few did then escape me, +yet at this present I can bring to mind but scanty sentences, and +those so stray and out of order that they would only prove my +incapacity for sterling wisdom, and my incontinence of spiritual +treasure.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Even that sentence hath a twang of the doctor in +it. Nothing is so sweet as humility. The mountains +may descend, but the valleys cannot rise. Every man should +know himself. Come, repeat what thou canst. I would +fain have three or four more heads.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I know not whether I can give your worship more than +one other. Let me try. It was when Doctor Glaston was +discoursing on the protection the wise and powerful should afford +to the ignorant and weak:—</p> +<p>“‘In the earlier ages of mankind, your Greek and +Latin authors inform you, there went forth sundry worthies, men +of might, to deliver, not wandering damsels, albeit for those +likewise they had stowage, but low-conditioned men, who fell +under the displeasure of the higher, and groaned in thraldom and +captivity. And these mighty ones were believed to have done +such services to poor humanity that their memory grew greater +than they, as shadows do than substances at day-fall. And +the sons and grandsons of the delivered did laud and magnify +those glorious names; and some in gratitude, and some in +tribulation, did ascend the hills, which appeared unto them as +altars bestrown with flowers and herbage for heaven’s +acceptance. And many did go far into the quiet groves, +under lofty trees, looking for whatever was mightiest and most +protecting. And in such places did they cry aloud unto the +mighty who had left them, “<i>Return</i>! <i>return</i>! +<i>help us</i>! <i>help us</i>! <i>be blessed</i>! <i>for ever +blessed</i>!”</p> +<p>“‘Vain men! but had they stayed there, not +evil. Out of gratitude, purest gratitude, rose +idolatry. For the devil sees the fairest, and soils it.</p> +<p>“‘In these our days, methinks, whatever other sins +we may fall into, such idolatry is the least dangerous. For +neither on the one side is there much disposition for gratitude, +nor on the other much zeal to deliver the innocent and +oppressed. Even this deliverance, although a merit, and a +high one, is not the highest. Forgiveness is beyond +it. Forgive, or ye shall not be forgiven. This ye may +do every day; for if ye find not offences, ye feign them; and +surely ye may remove your own work, if ye may re-remove +another’s. To rescue requires more thought and +wariness; learn, then, the easier lesson first. Afterward, +when ye rescue any from another’s violence, or from his own +(which oftentimes is more dangerous, as the enemies are within +not only the penetrals of his house but of his heart), bind up +his wounds before ye send him on his way. Should ye at any +time overtake the erring, and resolve to deliver him up, I will +tell you whither to conduct him. Conduct him to his Lord +and Master, whose household he hath left. It is better to +consign him to Christ his Saviour than to man his murderer; it is +better to bid him live than to bid him die. The one word +our Teacher and Preserver said, the other our enemy and +destroyer. Bring him back again, the stray, the lost one +bring him back, not with clubs and cudgels, not with halberts and +halters, but generously and gently, and with the linking of the +arm. In this posture shall God above smile upon ye; in this +posture of yours he shall recognize again his beloved Son upon +earth. Do ye likewise, and depart in +peace.’”</p> +<p>William had ended, and there was silence in the hall for some +time after, when Sir Thomas said,—</p> +<p>“He spake unto somewhat mean persons, who may do it +without disparagement. I look for authority, I look for +doctrine, and find none yet. If he could not have drawn us +out a thread or two from the coat of an apostle, he might have +given us a smack of Augustin, or a sprig of Basil. Our +older sermons are headier than these, Master Silas! our new beer +is the sweeter and clammier, and wants more spice. The +doctor hath seasoned his with pretty wit enough, to do him +justice, which in a sermon is never out of place; for if there be +the bane, there likewise is the antidote.</p> +<p>“What dost thou think about it, Master Silas?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I would not give ten farthings for ten folios of such +sermons.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“These words, Master Silas, will oftener be quoted than +any others of thine; but rarely (do I suspect) as applicable to +Doctor Glaston. I must stick unto his gown. I must +declare that, to my poor knowledge, many have been raised to the +bench of bishops for less wisdom and worse than is contained in +the few sentences I have been commanded by authority to +recite. No disparagement to any body I know, Master Silas, +and multitudes bear witness, that thou above most art a dead hand +at a sermon.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Touch my sermons, wilt dare?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Nay, Master Silas, be not angered; it is courage enough +to hear them.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Now, Silas, hold thy peace and rest contented. He +hath excused himself unto thee, throwing in a compliment far +above his station, and not unworthy of Rome or Florence. I +did not think him so ready. Our Warwickshire lads are +fitter for football than courtesies; and, sooth to say, not only +the inferior.”</p> +<p>His worship turned from Master Silas toward William, and said, +“Brave Willy, thou hast given us our bitters; we are ready +now for any thing solid. What hast left?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Little or nothing, sir.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Well, give us that little or nothing.”</p> +<p>William Shakspeare was obedient to the commands of Sir Thomas, +who had spoken thus kindly unto him, and had deigned to cast at +him from his <i>lordly dish</i> (as the Psalmist hath it) a +fragment of facetiousness.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Alas, sir! may I repeat it without offence, it not +being doctrine but admonition, and meant for me only?”</p> +<p>“Speak it the rather for that,” quoth Sir +Thomas.</p> +<p>Then did William give utterance to the words of the preacher, +not indeed in his sermon at St. Mary’s, but after +dinner.</p> +<p>“‘Lust seizeth us in youth, ambition in midlife, +avarice in old age; but vanity and pride are the besetting sins +that drive the angels from our cradle, pamper us with luscious +and most unwholesome food, ride our first stick with us, mount +our first horse with us, wake with us in the morning, dream with +us in the night, and never at any time abandon us. In this +world, beginning with pride and vanity, we are delivered over +from tormentor to tormentor, until the worst tormentor of all +taketh absolute possession of us for ever, seizing us at the +mouth of the grave, enchaining us in his own dark dungeon, +standing at the door, and laughing at our cries. But the +Lord, out of his infinite mercy, hath placed in the hand of every +man the helm to steer his course by, pointing it out with his +finger, and giving him strength as well as knowledge to pursue +it.</p> +<p>“‘William! William! there is in the moral straits +a current from right to wrong, but no re-flux from wrong to +right; for which destination we must hoist our sails aloft and +ply our oars incessantly, or night and the tempest will overtake +us, and we shall shriek out in vain from the billows, and +irrecoverably sink.’”</p> +<p>“Amen!” cried Sir Thomas most devoutly, sustaining +his voice long and loud.</p> +<p>“Open that casement, good Silas! the day is sultry for +the season of the year; it approacheth unto noontide. The +room is close, and those blue flies do make a strange +hubbub.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“In troth do they, sir; they come from the kitchen, and +do savour woundily of roast goose! And, +methinks—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What bethinkest thou?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The fancy of a moment,—a light and vain +one.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou relievest me; speak it!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“How could the creatures cast their coarse rank odour +thus far?—even into your presence! A noble and +spacious hall! Charlecote, in my mind, beats Warwick +Castle, and challenges Kenilworth.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“The hall is well enough; I must say it is a noble +hall,—a hall for a queen to sit down in. And I +stuffed an arm-chair with horse-hair on purpose, feathers over +it, swan-down over them again, and covered it with scarlet cloth +of Bruges, five crowns the short ell. But her highness came +not hither; she was taken short; she had a tongue in her +ear.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Where all is spring, all is buzz and murmur.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Quaint and solid as the best yew hedge. I marvel +at thee. A knight might have spoken it, under favour. +They stopped her at Warwick—to see what? two old towers +that don’t match, <a name="citation105a"></a><a +href="#footnote105a" class="citation">[105a]</a> and a portcullis +that (people say) opens only upon fast-days. Charlecote +Hall, I could have told her sweet Highness, was built by those +Lucys who came over with Julius Cæsar and William the +Conqueror, with cross and scallop-shell on breast and +beaver.”</p> +<p>“But, <i>honest Willy</i>!?—”</p> +<p>Such were the very words; I wrote them down with two signs in +the margent,—one a mark of admiration, as thus (!), the +other of interrogation (so we call it) as thus (?).</p> +<p>“But, honest Willy, I would fain hear more,” quoth +he, “about the learned Doctor Glaston. He seemeth to +be a man after God’s own heart.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay is he! Never doth he sit down to dinner but he +readeth first a chapter of the Revelation; and if he tasteth a +pound of butter at Carfax, he saith a grace long enough to bring +an appetite for a baked bull’s <a +name="citation106a"></a><a href="#footnote106a" +class="citation">[106a]</a> —zle. If this be not +after God’s own heart, I know not what is.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I would fain confer with him, but that Oxford lieth +afar off,—a matter of thirty miles, I hear. I might, +indeed, write unto him; but our Warwickshire pens are mighty +broad-nibbed, and there is a something in this plaguy ink of ours +sadly ropy—”</p> +<p>“I fear there is,” quoth Willy.</p> +<p>“And I should scorn,” continued his worship, +“to write otherwise than in a fine Italian character to the +master of a college, near in dignity to knighthood.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Worshipful sir! is there no other way of communicating +but by person, or writing, or messages?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I will consider and devise. At present I can +think of none so satisfactory.”</p> +<p>And now did the great clock over the gateway strike. And +Bill Shakspeare did move his lips, even as Sir Thomas had moved +his erewhile in ejaculating. And when he had wagged them +twice or thrice after the twelve strokes of the clock were over, +again he ejaculated with voice also, saying,—</p> +<p>“Mercy upon us! how the day wears! Twelve +strokes! Might I retire, please your worship, into the +chapel for about three quarters of an hour, and perform the +service <a name="citation108a"></a><a href="#footnote108a" +class="citation">[108a]</a> as ordained?”</p> +<p>Before Sir Thomas could give him leave or answer, did Sir +Silas cry aloud,—</p> +<p>“He would purloin the chalice, worth forty-eight +shillings, and melt it down in the twinkling of an eye, he is so +crafty.”</p> +<p>But the knight was more reasonable, and said, +reprovingly,—</p> +<p>“There now, Silas! thou talkest widely, and verily in +malice, if there be any in thee.”</p> +<p>“Try him,” answered Master Silas; “I +don’t kneel where he does. Could he have but his +wicked will of me he would chop my legs off, as he did the poor +buck’s.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“No, no, no; he hath neither guile nor revenge in +him. We may let him have his way, now that he hath taken +the right one.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Popery! sheer popery! strong as harts-horn! Your +papists keep these outlandish hours for their masses and +mummery. Surely we might let God alone at twelve +o’clock! Have we no bowels?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Gracious sir! I do not urge it; and the time is +now past by some minutes.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Art thou popishly inclined, William?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, I am not popishly inclined; I am not inclined to +pay tribute of coin or understanding to those who rush forward +with a pistol at my breast, crying, ‘<i>Stand</i>, <i>or +you are a dead man</i>.’ I have but one guide in +faith,—a powerful, an almighty one. He will not +suffer to waste away and vanish the faith for which he +died. He hath chosen in all countries pure hearts for its +depositaries; and I would rather take it from a friend and +neighbour, intelligent and righteous, and rejecting lucre, than +from some foreigner educated in the pride of cities or in the +moroseness of monasteries, who sells me what Christ gave +me,—his own flesh and blood.</p> +<p>“I can repeat by heart what I read above a year agone, +albeit I cannot bring to mind the title of the book in which I +read it. These are the words,—</p> +<p>“‘The most venal and sordid of all the +superstitions that have swept and darkened our globe may, indeed, +like African locusts, have consumed the green corn in very +extensive regions, and may return periodically to consume it; but +the strong, unwearied labourer who sowed it hath alway sown it in +other places less exposed to such devouring pestilences. +Those cunning men who formed to themselves the gorgeous plan of +universal dominion were aware that they had a better chance of +establishing it than brute ignorance or brute force could supply, +and that soldiers and their paymasters were subject to other and +powerfuller fears than the transitory ones of war and +invasion. What they found in heaven they seized; what they +wanted they forged.</p> +<p>“‘And so long as there is vice and ignorance in +the world, so long as fear is a passion, their dominion will +prevail; but their dominion is not, and never shall be, +universal. Can we wonder that it is so general? Can +we wonder that anything is wanting to give it authority and +effect, when every learned, every prudent, every powerful, every +ambitious man in Europe, for above a thousand years, united in +the league to consolidate it?</p> +<p>“‘The old dealers in the shambles, where +Christ’s body is exposed for sale in convenient marketable +slices, <a name="citation111a"></a><a href="#footnote111a" +class="citation">[111a]</a> have not covered with blood and filth +the whole pavement. Beautiful usages are remaining +still,—kindly affections, radiant hopes, and ardent +aspirations!</p> +<p>“‘It is a comfortable thing to reflect, as they +do, and as we may do unblamably, that we are uplifting to our +Guide and Maker the same incense of the heart, and are uttering +the very words, which our dearest friends in all quarters of the +earth, nay in heaven itself, are offering to the throne of grace +at the same moment.</p> +<p>“‘Thus are we together through the immensity of +space. What are these bodies? Do they unite us? +No; they keep us apart and asunder even while we touch. +Realms and oceans, worlds and ages, open before two spirits bent +on heaven. What a choir surrounds us when we resolve to +live unitedly and harmoniously in Christian +faith!’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Now, Silas, what sayest thou?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ignorant fool!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Ignorant fools are bearable, Master Silas! your wise +ones are the worst.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Prithee no bandying of loggerheads.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Or else what mortal man shall say<br /> +Whose shins may suffer in the fray?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou reasonest aptly and timest well. And surely, +being now in so rational and religious a frame of mind, thou +couldst recall to memory a section or head or two of the sermon +holden at St. Mary’s. It would do thee and us as much +good as <i>Lighten our darkness</i>, or <i>Forasmuch as it hath +pleased</i>; and somewhat less than three quarters of an hour +(maybe less than one quarter) sufficeth.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Or he hangs without me. I am for dinner in half +the time.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas! Silas! he hangeth not with thee or without +thee.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“He thinketh himself a clever fellow; but he (look ye) +is the cleverest that gets off.”</p> +<p>“I hold quite the contrary,” quoth Will +Shakspeare, winking at Master Silas from the comfort and +encouragement he had just received touching the hanging.</p> +<p>And Master Silas had his answer ready, and shewed that he was +more than a match for poor Willy in wit and poetry.</p> +<p>He answered thus:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“If winks are wit,<br /> +Who wanteth it?</p> +<p>Thou hadst other bolts to kill bucks withal. In wit, +sirrah, thou art a mere child.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Little dogs are jealous of children, great ones fondle +them.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“An that were written in the Apocrypha, in the very +teeth of Bel and the Dragon, it could not be truer. I have +witnessed it with my own eyes over and over.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“He will take this for wit, likewise, now the arms of +Lucy do seal it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas, they may stamp wit, they may further wit, they +may send wit into good company, but not make it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Behold my wall of defence!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“An thou art for walls, I have one for thee from Oxford, +pithy and apposite, sound and solid, and trimmed up becomingly, +as a collar of brawn with a crown of rosemary, or a boar’s +head with a lemon in the mouth.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Egad, Master Silas, those are your walls for lads to +climb over, an they were higher than Babel’s.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Have at thee!”</p> +<p class="poetry">“Thou art a wall<br /> +To make the ball<br /> + Rebound from.</p> +<p class="poetry">“Thou hast a back<br /> +For beadle’s crack<br /> + To sound from, to sound from.</p> +<p>The foolishest dolts are the ground-plot of the most wit, as +the idlest rogues are of the most industry. Even thou hast +brought wit down from Oxford. And before a thief is hanged, +parliament must make laws, attorneys must engross them, printers +stamp and publish them, hawkers cry them, judges expound them, +juries weigh and measure them with offences, then executioners +carry them into effect. The farmer hath already sown the +hemp, the ropemaker hath twisted it; sawyers saw the timber, +carpenters tack together the shell, grave-diggers delve the +earth. And all this truly for fellows like unto +thee.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Whom a God came down from heaven to save.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas! he hangeth not. William, I must have the +heads of the sermon, six or seven of ’em; thou hast whetted +my appetite keenly. How! dost duck thy pate into thy hat? +nay, nay, that is proper and becoming at church; we need not such +solemnity. Repeat unto us the setting forth at St. +Mary’s.”</p> +<p>Whereupon did William Shakspeare entreat of Master Silas that +he would help him in his ghostly endeavours, by repeating what he +called the <i>preliminary</i> prayer; which prayer I find nowhere +in our ritual, and do suppose it to be one of those Latin +supplications used in our learned universities now or +erewhile.</p> +<p>I am afeard it hath not the approbation of the strictly +orthodox, for inasmuch as Master Silas at such entreaty did close +his teeth against it, and with teeth thus closed did say, +Athanasiuswise, “Go and be damned!”</p> +<p>Bill was not disheartened, but said he hoped better, and began +thus:—</p> +<p>“‘My brethren!’ said the preacher, ‘or +rather let me call you my children, such is my age confronted +with yours, for the most part,—my children, then, and my +brethren (for here are both), believe me, killing is +forbidden.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“This, not being delivered unto us from the pulpit by +the preacher himself, we may look into. Sensible man! +shrewd reasoner! What a stroke against deer-stealers! how +full of truth and ruth! Excellent discourse!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The last part was the best.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I always find it so. The softest of the +cheesecake is left in the platter when the crust is eaten. +He kept the best bit for the last, then? He pushed it under +the salt, eh? He told thee—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Exactly so.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What was it?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘Ye shall not kill.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“How I did he run in a circle like a hare? One of +his mettle should break cover and off across the country like a +fox or hart.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘And yet ye kill time when ye can, and are uneasy +when ye cannot.’”</p> +<p>Whereupon did Sir Thomas say, aside unto himself, but within +my hearing,—</p> +<p>“Faith and troth! he must have had a head in at the +window here one day or other.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘This sin cryeth unto the Lord.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“He was wrong there. It is not one of those that +cry; mortal sins cry. Surely he could not have fallen into +such an error! it must be thine; thou misunderstoodest +him.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Mayhap, sir! A great heaviness came over me; I +was oppressed in spirit, and did feel as one awakening from a +dream.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Godlier men than thou art do often feel the right hand +of the Lord upon their heads in like manner. It followeth +contrition, and precedeth conversion. Continue.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘My brethren and children,’ said the +teacher, ‘whenever ye want to kill time call God to the +chase, and bid the angels blow the horn; and thus ye are sure to +kill time to your heart’s content. And ye may feast +another day, and another after that—’”</p> +<p>Then said Master Silas unto me, concernedly,</p> +<p>“This is the mischief-fullest of all the devil’s +imps, to talk in such wise at a quarter past twelve!”</p> +<p>But William went straight on, not hearing him,</p> +<p>“‘—upon what ye shall, in such pursuit, have +brought home with you. Whereas, if ye go alone, or two or +three together, nay, even if ye go in thick and gallant company, +and yet provide not that these be with ye, my word for it, and a +powerfuller word than mine, ye shall return to your supper tired +and jaded, and rest little when ye want to rest +most.’”</p> +<p>“Hast no other head of the Doctor’s?” quoth +Sir Thomas.</p> +<p>“Verily none,” replied Willy, “of the +morning’s discourse, saving the last words of it, which, +with God’s help, I shall always remember.”</p> +<p>“Give us them, give us them,” said Sir Thomas.</p> +<p>“He wants doctrine; he wants authority; his are grains +of millet,—grains for unfledged doves; but they are sound, +except the <i>crying</i>.</p> +<p>“Deliver unto us the last words; for the last of the +preacher, as of the hanged, are usually the best.”</p> +<p>Then did William repeat the concluding words of the discourse, +being these:—</p> +<p>“‘As years are running past us, let us throw +something on them which they cannot shake off in the dust and +hurry of the world, but must carry with them to that great year +of all, whereunto the lesser of this mortal life do tend and are +subservient.’”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, after a pause, and after having bent his knee +under the table, as though there had been the church-cushion, +said unto us,—</p> +<p>“Here he spake <i>through a glass</i>, <i>darkly</i>, as +blessed Paul hath it.”</p> +<p>Then turning toward Willy,—</p> +<p>“And nothing more?”</p> +<p>“Nothing but the <i>glory</i>,” quoth Willy, +“at which there is always such a clatter of feet upon the +floor, and creaking of benches, and rustling of gowns, and bustle +of bonnets, and justle of cushions, and dust of mats, and +treading of toes, and punching of elbows, from the spitefuller, +that one wishes to be fairly out of it, after the scramble for +<i>the peace of God</i> is at an end—”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas threw himself back upon his armchair, and exclaimed +in wonderment, “How!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“—and in the midst of the service again, were it +possible. For nothing is painfuller than to have the pail +shaken off the head when it is brim-full of the waters of life, +and we are walking staidly under it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Had the learned Doctor preached again in the evening, +pursuing the thread of his discourse, he might, peradventure, +have made up the deficiencies I find in him.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He had not that opportunity.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“The more’s the pity.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“The evening admonition, delivered by him unto the +household—”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What! and did he indeed shew wind enough for +that? Prithee out with it, if thou didst put it into thy +tablets.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Alack, sir! there were so many Latin words, I fear me I +should be at fault in such attempt.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Fear not; we can help thee out between us, were there a +dozen or a score.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Bating those latinities, I do verily think I could tie +up again most of the points in his doublet.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“At him then! What was his bearing?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“In dividing his matter, he spooned out and apportioned +the commons in his discourse, as best suited the quality, +capacity, and constitution of his hearers. To those in +priests’ orders he delivered a sort of +catechism.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“He catechise grown men! He catechise men in +priests’ orders!—being no bishop, nor bishop’s +ordinary!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He did so; it may be at his peril.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“And what else? for catechisms are baby’s +pap.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He did not catechise, but he admonished the richer +gentlemen with gold tassels for their top-knots.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I thought as much. It was no better in my +time. Admonitions fell gently upon those gold tassels; and +they ripened degrees as glass and sunshine ripen cucumbers. +We priests, forsooth, are catechised! The worst question to +any gold tasseller is, ‘<i>How do you do</i>?’ +Old <i>Alma Mater</i> coaxes and would be coaxed. But let +her look sharp, or spectacles may be thrust upon her nose that +shall make her eyes water. Aristotle could make out no +royal road to wisdom; but this old woman of ours will shew you +one, an you tip her.</p> +<p>“Tilley valley! <a name="citation124a"></a><a +href="#footnote124a" class="citation">[124a]</a> catechise +priests, indeed!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Peradventure he did it discreetly. Let us examine +and judge him. Repeat thou what he said unto +them.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“‘Many,’ said he, ‘are ingenuous, many +are devout, some timidly, some strenuously, but nearly all +flinch, and rear, and kick, at the slightest touch, or least +inquisitive suspicion of an unsound part in their doctrine. +And yet, my brethren, we ought rather to flinch and feel sore at +our own searching touch, our own serious inquisition into +ourselves. Let us preachers, who are sufficiently liberal +in bestowing our advice upon others, inquire of ourselves whether +the exercise of spiritual authority may not be sometimes too +pleasant, tickling our breasts with a plume from Satan’s +wing, and turning our heads with that inebriating poison which he +hath been seen to instil into the very chalice of our +salvation. Let us ask ourselves in the closet whether, +after we have humbled ourselves before God in our prayers, we +never rise beyond the due standard in the pulpit; whether our +zeal for the truth be never over-heated by internal fires less +holy; whether we never grow stiffly and sternly pertinacious, at +the very time when we are reproving the obstinacy of others; and +whether we have not frequently so acted as if we believed that +opposition were to be relaxed and borne away by self-sufficiency +and intolerance. Believe me, the wisest of us have our +catechism to learn; and these, my dear friends, are not the only +questions contained in it. No Christian can hate; no +Christian can malign. Nevertheless, do we not often both +hate and malign those unhappy men who are insensible to +God’s mercies? And I fear this unchristian spirit +swells darkly, with all its venom, in the marble of our hearts, +not because our brother is insensible to these mercies, but +because he is insensible to our faculty of persuasion, turning a +deaf ear unto our claim upon his obedience, or a blind or sleepy +eye upon the fountain of light, whereof we deem ourselves the +sacred reservoirs. There is one more question at which ye +will tremble when ye ask it in the recesses of your souls; I do +tremble at it, yet must utter it. Whether we do not more +warmly and erectly stand up for God’s word because it came +from our mouths, than because it came from his? Learned and +ingenious men may indeed find a solution and excuse for all these +propositions; but the wise unto salvation will cry, +“Forgive me, O my God, if, called by thee to walk in thy +way, I have not swept this dust from the +sanctuary!”’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“All this, methinks, is for the behoof of clerks and +ministers.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He taught them what they who teach others should learn +and practise. Then did he look toward the young gentlemen +of large fortune; and lastly his glances fell upon us poorer +folk, whom he instructed in the duty we owe to our +superiors.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay, there he had a host.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“In one part of his admonition he said,—</p> +<p>“‘Young gentlemen! let not the highest of you who +hear me this evening be led into the delusion, for such it is, +that the founder of his family was <i>originally</i> a greater or +a better man than the lowest here. He willed it, and became +it. He must have stood low; he must have worked +hard,—and with tools, moreover, of his own invention and +fashioning. He waved and whistled off ten thousand strong +and importunate temptations; he dashed the dice-box from the +jewelled hand of Chance, the cup from Pleasure’s, and trod +under foot the sorceries of each; he ascended steadily the +precipices of Danger, and looked down with intrepidity from the +summit; he overawed Arrogance with Sedateness; he seized by the +horn and overleaped low Violence; and he fairly swung Fortune +round.</p> +<p>“‘The very high cannot rise much higher; the very +low may,—the truly great must have done it.</p> +<p>“‘This is not the doctrine, my friends, of the +silkenly and lawnly religious; it wears the coarse texture of the +fisherman, and walks uprightly and straightforward under +it. I am speaking now more particularly to you among us +upon whom God hath laid the incumbrances of wealth, the sweets +whereof bring teazing and poisonous things about you, not easily +sent away. What now are your pretensions under sacks of +money? or your enjoyments under the shade of genealogical +trees? Are they rational? Are they real? Do +they exist at all? Strange inconsistency! to be proud of +having as much gold and silver laid upon you as a mule hath, and +yet to carry it less composedly! The mule is not answerable +for the conveyance and discharge of his burden,—you +are. Stranger infatuation still! to be prouder of an +excellent thing done by another than by yourselves, supposing any +excellent thing to have actually been done; and, after all, to be +more elated on his cruelties than his kindnesses, by the blood he +hath spilt than by the benefits he had conferred; and to +acknowledge less obligation to a well-informed and +well-intentioned progenitor than to a lawless and ferocious +barbarian. Would stocks and stumps, if they could utter +words, utter such gross stupidity? Would the apple boast of +his crab origin, or the peach of his prune? Hardly any man +is ashamed of being inferior to his ancestors, although it is the +very thing at which the great should blush, if, indeed, the great +in general descended from the worthy. I did expect to see +the day, and although I shall not see it, it must come at last, +when he shall be treated as a madman or an impostor who dares to +claim nobility or precedency and cannot shew his family name in +the history of his country. Even he who can shew it, and +who cannot write his own under it in the same or as goodly +characters, must submit to the imputation of degeneracy, from +which the lowly and obscure are exempt.</p> +<p>“‘He alone who maketh you wiser maketh you +greater; and it is only by such an implement that Almighty God +himself effects it. When he taketh away a man’s +wisdom he taketh away his strength, his power over others and +over himself. What help for him then? He may sit idly +and swell his spleen, saying,—<i>Who is this</i>? <i>who is +that</i>? and at the question’s end the spirit of inquiry +dies away in him. It would not have been so if, in happier +hour, he had said within himself, <i>Who am I</i>? <i>what am +I</i>? and had prosecuted the search in good earnest.</p> +<p>“‘When we ask who <i>this</i> man is, or who +<i>that</i> man is, we do not expect or hope for a plain answer; +we should be disappointed at a direct, or a rational, or a kind +one. We desire to hear that he was of low origin, or had +committed some crime, or been subjected to some calamity. +Whoever he be, in general we disregard or despise him, unless we +discover that he possesseth by nature many qualities of mind and +body which he never brings into use, and many accessories of +situation and fortune which he brings into abuse every day. +According to the arithmetic in practice, he who makes the most +idlers and the most ingrates is the most worshipful. But +wiser ones than the scorers in this school will tell you how +riches and power were bestowed by Providence that generosity and +mercy should be exercised; for, if every gift of the Almighty +were distributed in equal portions to every creature, less of +such virtues would be called into the field; consequently there +would be less of gratitude, less of submission, less of devotion, +less of hope, and, in the total, less of +content.’”</p> +<p>Here he ceased, and Sir Thomas nodded, and said,—</p> +<p>“Reasonable enough! nay, almost too +reasonable!”</p> +<p>“But where are the apostles? Where are the +disciples? Where are the saints? Where is +hell-fire?”</p> +<p>“Well! patience! we may come to it yet. Go on, +Will!”</p> +<p>With such encouragement before him, did Will Shakspeare take +breath and continue:—</p> +<p>“‘We mortals are too much accustomed to behold our +superiors in rank and station as we behold the leaves in the +forest. While we stand under these leaves, our protection +and refuge from heat and labour, we see only the rougher side of +them, and the gloominess of the branches on which they +hang. In the midst of their benefits we are insensible to +their utility and their beauty, and appear to be ignorant that if +they were placed less high above us we should derive from them +less advantage.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Ay; envy of superiority made the angels kick and run +restive.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“May it please your worship! with all my faults, I have +ever borne due submission and reverence toward my +superiors.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Very right! very scriptural! But most folks do +that. Our duty is not fulfilled unless we bear absolute +veneration; unless we are ready to lay down our lives and +fortunes at the foot of the throne, and every thing else at the +foot of those who administer the laws under virgin +majesty.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Honoured sir! I am quite ready to lay down my +life and fortune, and all the rest of me, before that great +virgin.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thy life and fortune, to wit!</p> +<p>“What are they worth? A June cob-nut, maggot and +all.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Silas, we will not repudiate nor rebuff his Magdalen, +that bringeth a pot of ointment. Rather let us teach and +tutor than twit. It is a tractable and conducible youth, +being in good company.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Teach and tutor! Hold hard, sir! These base +varlets ought to be taught but two things: to bow as beseemeth +them to their betters, and to hang perpendicular. We have +authority for it, that no man can add an inch to his stature; but +by aid of the sheriff I engage to find a chap who shall add two +or three to this whoreson’s.” <a +name="citation133a"></a><a href="#footnote133a" +class="citation">[133a]</a></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Nay, nay, now, Silas! the lad’s mother was always +held to be an honest woman.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“His mother may be an honest woman for me.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“No small privilege, by my faith! for any woman in the +next parish to thee, Master Silas!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“There again! out comes the filthy runlet from the +quagmire, that but now lay so quiet with all its own in +it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Until it was trodden on by the ass that could not leap +over it. These, I think, are the words of the +fable.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“They are so.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“What fable?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Tush! don’t press him too hard; he wants not wit, +but learning.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“He wants a rope’s-end; and a rope’s-end is +not enough for him, unless we throw in the other.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Peradventure he may be an instrument, a potter’s +clay, a type, a token.</p> +<p>“I have seen many young men, and none like unto +him. He is shallow but clear; he is simple, but +ingenuous.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Drag the ford again, then. In my mind he is as +deep as the big tankard; and a mouthful of rough burrage will be +the beginning and end of it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“No fear of that. Neither, if rightly reported by +the youngster, is there so much doctrine in the doctor as we +expected. He doth not dwell upon the main; he is worldly; +he is wise in his generation,—he says things out of his own +head.</p> +<p>“Silas, that can’t hold! We want +<i>props—fulcrums</i>, I think you called ’em to the +farmers; or was it <i>stimulums</i>?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Both very good words.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I should be mightily pleased to hear thee dispute with +that great don.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I hate disputations. Saint Paul warns us against +them. If one wants to be thirsty, the tail of a stockfish +is as good for it as the head of a logician.</p> +<p>“The doctor there, at Oxford, is in flesh and mettle; +but let him be sleek and gingered as he may, clap me in St. +Mary’s pulpit, cassock me, lamb-skin me, give me pink for +my colours, glove me to the elbow, heel-piece me half an ell +high, cushion me before and behind, bring me a mug of mild ale +and a rasher of bacon, only just to con over the text withal; +then allow me fair play, and as much of my own way as he had, and +the devil take the hindermost. I am his man at any +time.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I am fain to believe it. Verily, I do think, +Silas, thou hast as much stuff in thee as most men. Our +beef and mutton at Charlecote rear other than babes and +sucklings.</p> +<p>“I like words taken, like thine, from black-letter +books. They look stiff and sterling, and as though a man +might dig about ’em for a week, and never loosen the +lightest.</p> +<p>“Thou hast alway at hand either saint or devil, as +occasion needeth, according to the quality of the sinner, and +they never come uncalled for. Moreover, Master Silas, I +have observed that thy hell-fire is generally lighted up in the +pulpit about the dog-days.”</p> +<p>Then turned the worthy knight unto the youth, +saying,—</p> +<p>“’T were well for thee, William Shakspeare, if the +learned doctor had kept thee longer in his house, and had shewn +unto thee the danger of idleness, which hath often led unto +deer-stealing and poetry. In thee we already know the one, +although the distemper hath eaten but skin-deep for the present; +and we have the testimony of two burgesses on the other. +The pursuit of poetry, as likewise of game, is unforbidden to +persons of condition.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, that of game is the more likely to keep them in +it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It is the more knightly of the two; but poetry hath +also her pursuers among us. I myself, in my youth, had some +experience that way; and I am fain to blush at the reputation I +obtained. His honour, my father, took me to London at the +age of twenty; and, sparing no expense in my education, gave +fifty shillings to one Monsieur Dubois to teach me fencing and +poetry, in twenty lessons. In vacant hours he taught us +also the laws of honour, which are different from ours.</p> +<p>“In France you are unpolite unless you solicit a judge +or his wife to favour your cause; and you inevitably lose +it. In France there is no want of honour where there is no +want of courage; you may lie, but you must not hear that you +lie. I asked him what he thought then of lying; and he +replied,—</p> +<p>“‘<i>C’est selon</i>.’</p> +<p>“‘And suppose you should overhear the +whisper?’</p> +<p>“‘<i>Ah</i>, <i>parbleu</i>! <i>Cela +m’irrite</i>; <i>cela me pousse au bout</i>.’</p> +<p>“I was going on to remark that a real man of honour +could less bear to lie than to hear it; when he cried, at the +words <i>real man of honour</i>,—</p> +<p>“‘<i>Le voilà</i>, <i>Monsieur</i>! <i>le +voilà</i>!’ and gave himself such a blow on the +breast as convinced me the French are a brave people.</p> +<p>“He told us that nothing but his honour was left him, +but that it supplied the place of all he had lost. It was +discovered some time afterward that M. Dubois had been guilty of +perjury, had been a spy, and had lost nothing but a dozen or two +of tin patty-pans, hereditary in his family, his father having +been a cook on his own account.</p> +<p>“William, it is well at thy time of life that thou +shouldst know the customs of far countries, particularly if it +should be the will of God to place thee in a company of +players. Of all nations in the world, the French best +understand the stage. If thou shouldst ever write for it, +which God forbid, copy them very carefully. Murders on +their stage are quite decorous and cleanly. Few gentlemen +and ladies die by violence who would not have died by +exhaustion. ‘For they rant and rave until their voice +fails them, one after another; and those who do not die of it die +consumptive. They cannot bear to see cruelty; they would +rather see any image than their own.’ These are not +my observations, but were made by Sir Everard Starkeye, who +likewise did remark to Monsieur Dubois, that ‘cats, if you +hold them up to the looking-glass, will scratch you terribly; and +that the same fierce animal, as if proud of its cleanly coat and +velvety paw, doth carefully put aside what other animals of more +estimation take no trouble to conceal.’</p> +<p>“‘Our people,’ said Sir Everard, ‘must +see upon the stage what they never could have imagined; so the +best men in the world would earnestly take a peep of hell through +a chink, whereas the worser would skulk away.’</p> +<p>“Do not thou be their caterer, William! Avoid the +writing of comedies and tragedies. To make people laugh is +uncivil, and to make people cry is unkind. And what, after +all, are these comedies and these tragedies? They are what, +for the benefit of all future generations, I have myself +described them,—</p> +<p class="poetry">‘The whimsies of wantons and stories of +dread,<br /> +That make the stout-hearted look under the bed.’</p> +<p>Furthermore, let me warn thee against the same on account of +the vast charges thou must stand at. We Englishmen cannot +find it in our hearts to murder a man without much difficulty, +hesitation, and delay. We have little or no invention for +pains and penalties; it is only our acutest lawyers who have wit +enough to frame them. Therefore it behooveth your +tragedy-man to provide a rich assortment of them, in order to +strike the auditor with awe and wonder. And a tragedy-man, +in our country, who cannot afford a fair dozen of stabbed males, +and a trifle under that mark of poisoned females, and chains enow +to moor a whole navy in dock, is but a scurvy fellow at the +best. Thou wilt find trouble in purveying these +necessaries; and then must come the gim-cracks for the second +course,—gods, goddesses, fates, furies, battles, marriages, +music, and the maypole. Hast thou within thee +wherewithal?”</p> +<p>“Sir!” replied Billy, with great modesty, “I +am most grateful for these ripe fruits of your experience. +To admit delightful visions into my own twilight chamber is not +dangerous nor forbidden. Believe me, sir, he who indulges +in them will abstain from injuring his neighbour; he will see no +glory in peril, and no delight in strife.</p> +<p>“The world shall never be troubled by any battles and +marriages of mine, and I desire no other music and no other +maypole than have lightened my heart at Stratford.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, finding him well-conditioned and manageable, +proceeded:—</p> +<p>“Although I have admonished thee of sundry and +insurmountable impediments, yet more are lying in the +pathway. We have no verse for tragedy. One in his +hurry hath dropped rhyme, and walketh like unto the man who +wanteth the left-leg stocking. Others can give us rhyme +indeed, but can hold no longer after the tenth or eleventh +syllable. Now Sir Everard Starkeye, who is a pretty poet, +did confess to Monsieur Dubois the potency of the French tragic +verse, which thou never canst hope to bring over.</p> +<p>“‘I wonder, Monsieur Dubois!’ said Sir +Everard, ‘that your countrymen should have thought it +necessary to transport their heavy artillery into Italy. No +Italian could stand a volley of your heroic verses from the best +and biggest pieces. With these brought into action, you +never could have lost the battle of Pavia.’</p> +<p>“Now my friend Sir Everard is not quite so good a +historian as he is a poet; and Monsieur Dubois took advantage of +him.</p> +<p>“‘Pardon! Monsieur Sir Everard!’ said +Monsieur Dubois, smiling at my friend’s slip, ‘We did +not lose the battle of Pavia. We had the misfortune to lose +our king, who delivered himself up, as our kings always do, for +the good and glory of his country.’</p> +<p>“‘How was this?’ said Sir Everard, in +surprise.</p> +<p>“‘I will tell you, Monsieur Sir Everard!’ +said Monsieur Dubois. ‘I had it from my own father, +who fought in the battle, and told my mother, word for word.</p> +<p>“‘The king seeing his household troops, being only +one thousand strong, surrounded by twelve regiments, the best +Spanish troops, amounting to eighteen thousand four hundred and +forty-two, although he doubted not of victory, yet thought he +might lose many brave men before the close of the day, and rode +up instantly to King Charles, and said,—</p> +<p>“‘“My brother! I am loath to lose so +many of those brave men yonder. Whistle off your Spanish +pointers, and I agree to ride home with you.”</p> +<p>“‘And so he did. But what did King +Charles? Abusing French loyalty, he made our Francis his +prisoner, would you believe it? and treated him worse than ever +badger was treated at the bottom of any paltry stable-yard, +putting upon his table beer and Rhenish wine and wild +boar.’</p> +<p>“I have digressed with thee, young man,” continued +the knight, much to the improvement of my knowledge, I do +reverentially confess, as it was of the lad’s. +“We will now,” said he, “endeavour our best to +sober thee, finding that Doctor Glaston hath omitted +it.”</p> +<p>“Not entirely omitted it,” said William, +gratefully; “he did after dinner all that could be done at +such a time toward it. The doctor could, however, speak +only of the Greeks and Romans, and certainly what he said of them +gave me but little encouragement.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“What said he?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“He said, ‘The Greeks conveyed all their wisdom +into their theatre,—their stages were churches and +parliament-houses; but what was false prevailed over what was +true. They had their own wisdom, the wisdom of the +foolish. Who is Sophocles, if compared to Doctor Hammersley +of Oriel? or Euripides, if compared to Doctor Prichard of +Jesus? Without the Gospel, light is darkness; and with it, +children are giants.</p> +<p>“‘William, I need not expatiate on Greek with +thee, since thou knowest it not, but some crumbs of Latin are +picked up by the callowest beaks. The Romans had, as thou +findest, and have still, more taste for murder than morality, +and, as they could not find heroes among them, looked for +gladiators. Their only very high poet employed his +elevation and strength to dethrone and debase the Deity. +They had several others, who polished their language and pitched +their instruments with admirable skill; several who glued over +their thin and flimsy gaberdines many bright feathers from the +widespread downs of Ionia, and the richly cultivated rocks of +Attica.</p> +<p>“‘Some of them have spoken from inspiration; for +thou art not to suppose that from the heathen were withheld all +the manifestations of the Lord. We do agree at Oxford that +the Pollio of Virgil is our Saviour. True, it is the +dullest and poorest poem that a nation not very poetical hath +bequeathed unto us; and even the versification, in which this +master excelled, is wanting in fluency and sweetness. I can +only account for it from the weight of the subject. Two +verses, which are fairly worth two hundred such poems, are from +another pagan; he was forced to sigh for the church without +knowing her. He saith,—</p> +<p class="poetry">“May I gaze upon thee when my latest hour +is come!<br /> +May I hold thy hand when mine faileth me!”</p> +<p>This, if adumbrating the church, is the most beautiful thought +that ever issued from the heart of man; but if addressed to a +wanton, as some do opine, is filth from the sink, nauseating and +insufferable.</p> +<p>“‘William! that which moveth the heart most is the +best poetry; it comes nearest unto God, the source of all +power.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Yea; and he appeareth unto me to know more of poetry +than of divinity. Those ancients have little flesh upon the +body poetical, and lack the savour that sufficeth. The Song +of Solomon drowns all their voices: they seem but whistlers and +guitar-players compared to a full-cheeked trumpeter; they +standing under the eaves in some dark lane, he upon a +well-caparisoned stallion, tossing his mane and all his ribbons +to the sun. I doubt the doctor spake too fondly of the +Greeks; they were giddy creatures. William, I am loath to +be hard on them; but they please me not. There are those +now living who could make them bite their nails to the quick, and +turn green as grass with envy.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, one of those Greeks, methinks, thrown into the +pickle-pot, would be a treasure to the housewife’s young +jerkins.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Simpleton! simpleton! but thou valuest them +justly. Now attend. If ever thou shouldst hear, at +Oxford or London, the verses I am about to repeat, prithee do not +communicate them to that fiery spirit Mat Atterend. It +might not be the battle of two hundreds, but two counties; a sort +of York and Lancaster war, whereof I would wash my hands. +Listen!”</p> +<p>And now did Sir Thomas clear his voice, always high and +sonorous, and did repeat from the stores of his memory these rich +and proud verses,—</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Chloe! mean men must ever make +mean loves;<br /> +They deal in dog-roses, but I in cloves.<br /> +They are just scorch’d enough to blow their fingers;<br /> +I am a phœnix downright burnt to cinders.’”</p> +<p>At which noble conceits, so far above what poor Bill had ever +imagined, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and +exclaimed,—</p> +<p>“The world itself must be reduced to that condition +before such glorious verses die! <i>Chloe</i> and +<i>Clove</i>! Why, sir! Chloe wants but a V toward the tail +to become the very thing! Never tell me that such matters +can come about of themselves. And how truly is it said that +we mean men deal in dog-roses.</p> +<p>“Sir, if it were permitted me to swear on that holy +Bible, I would swear I never until this day heard that dog-roses +were our provender; and yet did I, no longer ago than last +summer, write, not indeed upon a dog-rose, but upon a +sweet-briar, what would only serve to rinse the mouth withal +after the clove.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Repeat the same, youth. We may haply give thee +our counsel thereupon.”</p> +<p>Willy took heart, and lowering his voice, which hath much +natural mellowness, repeated these from memory:—</p> +<p class="poetry"> “My briar that +smelledst sweet<br /> + When gentle spring’s first heat<br /> + Ran through thy quiet +veins,—<br /> + Thou that wouldst injure none,<br /> + But wouldst be left alone,—<br /> +Alone thou leavest me, and nought of thine remains.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “What! hath no +poet’s lyre<br /> + O’er thee, sweet-breathing briar,<br /> + Hung fondly, ill or well?<br /> + And yet methinks with thee<br /> + A poet’s sympathy,<br /> +Whether in weal or woe, in life or death, might dwell.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “Hard usage both must +bear,<br /> + Few hands your youth will rear,<br /> + Few bosoms cherish you;<br /> + Your tender prime must bleed<br /> + Ere you are sweet, but freed<br /> +From life, you then are prized; thus prized are poets +too.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas said, with kind encouragement, “He who +beginneth so discreetly with a dog-rose, may hope to encompass a +damask-rose ere he die.”</p> +<p>Willy did now breathe freely. The commendation of a +knight and magistrate worked powerfully within him; and Sir +Thomas said furthermore,—</p> +<p>“These short matters do not suit me. Thou mightest +have added some moral about life and beauty,—poets never +handle roses without one; but thou art young, and mayest get into +the train.”</p> +<p>Willy made the best excuse he could; and no bad one it was, +the knight acknowledged; namely, that the sweet-briar was not +really dead, although left for dead.</p> +<p>“Then,” said Sir Thomas, “as life and beauty +would not serve thy turn, thou mightest have had full enjoyment +of the beggar, the wayside, the thieves, and the good +Samaritan,—enough to tapestry the bridal chamber of an +empress.”</p> +<p>William bowed respectfully, and sighed.</p> +<p>“Ha! thou hast lost them, sure enough, and it may not be +quite so fair to smile at thy quandary,” quoth Sir +Thomas.</p> +<p>“I did my best the first time,” said Willy, +“and fell short the second.”</p> +<p>“That, indeed, thou must have done,” said Sir +Thomas. “It is a grievous disappointment, in the +midst of our lamentations for the dead, to find ourselves +balked. I am curious to see how thou couldst help +thyself. Don’t be abashed; I am ready for even worse +than the last.”</p> +<p>Bill hesitated, but obeyed:—</p> +<p class="poetry"> “And art thou yet +alive?<br /> + And shall the happy hive<br /> + Send out her youth to cull<br /> + Thy sweets of leaf and flower,<br /> + And spend the sunny hour<br /> +With thee, and thy faint heart with murmuring music lull?</p> +<p class="poetry"> “Tell me what tender +care,<br /> + Tell me what pious prayer,<br /> + Bade thee arise and live.<br /> + The fondest-favoured bee<br /> + Shall whisper nought to thee<br /> +More loving than the song my grateful muse shall give.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas looked somewhat less pleased at the conclusion of +these verses than at the conclusion of the former, and said, +gravely,—</p> +<p>“Young man! methinks it is betimes that thou talkest of +having a muse to thyself; or even in common with others. It +is only great poets who have muses; I mean to say who have the +right to talk in that fashion. The French, I hear, +<i>Phœbus</i> it and <i>muse-me</i> it right and left; and +boggle not to throw all nine, together with mother and master, +into the compass of a dozen lines or thereabout. And your +Italian can hardly do without ’em in the +multiplication-table. We Englishmen do let them in quietly, +shut the door, and say nothing of what passes. I have read +a whole book of comedies, and ne’er a muse to help the +lamest.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Wonderful forbearance! I marvel how the poet +could get through.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“By God’s help. And I think we did as well +without ’em; for it must be an unabashable man that ever +shook his sides in their company. They lay heavy restraint +both upon laughing and crying. In the great master Virgil +of Rome, they tell me they come in to count the ships, and having +cast up the sum total, and proved it, make off again. Sure +token of two things,—first, that he held ’em +dog-cheap; secondly, that he had made but little progress (for a +Lombard born) in book-keeping at double entry.</p> +<p>“He, and every other great genius, began with small +subject-matters, gnats and the like. I myself, similar unto +him, wrote upon fruit. I would give thee some copies for +thy copying, if I thought thou wouldst use them temperately, and +not render them common, as hath befallen the poetry of some among +the brightest geniuses. I could shew thee how to say new +things, and how to time the same. Before my day, nearly all +the flowers and fruits had been gathered by poets, old and young, +<i>from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop on the wall</i>; roses +went up to Solomon, apples to Adam, and so forth.</p> +<p>“Willy! my brave lad! I was the first that ever +handled a quince, I’ll be sworn.</p> +<p>“Hearken!</p> +<p class="poetry">“Chloe! I would not have thee +wince<br /> +That I unto thee send a quince.<br /> +I would not have thee say unto ’t<br /> +<i>Begone</i>! and trample ’t underfoot,<br /> +For, trust me, ’t is no fulsome fruit.<br /> +It came not out of mine own garden,<br /> +But all the way from Henly in Arden,—<br /> +Of an uncommon fine old tree,<br /> +Belonging to John Asbury.<br /> +And if that of it thou shalt eat,<br /> +’Twill make thy breath e’en yet more sweet;<br /> +As a translation here doth shew,<br /> +<i>On fruit-trees</i>, <i>by Jean Mirabeau</i>.<br /> +The frontispiece is printed so.<br /> +But eat it with some wine and cake,<br /> +Or it may give the belly-ache. <a name="citation153a"></a><a +href="#footnote153a" class="citation">[153a]</a><br /> +This doth my worthy clerk indite,<br /> +I sign,</p> +<p style="text-align: right" class="poetry"><span +class="smcap">Sir Thomas Lucy</span>, Knight.”</p> +<p>“Now, Willy, there is not one poet or lover in twenty +who careth for consequences. Many hint to the lady what to +do, few what not to do although it would oftentimes, as in this +case, go to one’s heart to see the upshot.”</p> +<p>“Ah, sir,” said Bill, in all humility, “I +would make bold to put the parings of that quince under my +pillow, for sweet dreams and insights, if Doctor Glaston had +given me encouragement to continue the pursuit of poetry. +Of a surety it would bless me with a bedful of churches and +crucifixions, duly adumbrated.”</p> +<p>Whereat Sir Thomas, shaking his head, did inform +him,—</p> +<p>“It was in the golden age of the world, as pagans call +it, that poets of condition sent fruits and flowers to their +beloved, with posies fairly penned. We, in our days, have +done the like. But manners of late are much corrupted on +the one side, if not on both.</p> +<p>“Willy! it hath been whispered that there be those who +would rather have a piece of brocade or velvet for a stomacher +than the touchingest copy of verses, with a bleeding heart at the +bottom.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Incredible!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“’T is even so!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“They must surely be rotten fragments of the world +before the flood,—saved out of it by the devil.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I am not of that mind.</p> +<p>“Their eyes, mayhap, fell upon some of the bravery cast +ashore from the Spanish Armada. In ancienter days, a few +pages of good poetry outvalued a whole ell of the finest +Genoa.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“When will such days return?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It is only within these few years that corruption and +avarice have made such ghastly strides. They always did +exist, but were gentler.</p> +<p>“My youth is waning, and has been nigh upon these seven +years, I being now in my forty-eighth.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I have understood that the god of poetry is in the +enjoyment of eternal youth; I was ignorant that his sons +were.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“No, child! we are hale and comely, but must go the way +of all flesh.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Must it, can it, be?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Time was, my smallest gifts were acceptable, as thus +recorded:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“From my fair hand, O will ye, will ye<br +/> +Deign humbly to accept a gilly-<br /> + Flower for thy bosom, sugared maid!</p> +<p class="poetry">“Scarce had I said it ere she took it,<br +/> +And in a twinkling, faith! had stuck it,<br /> + Where e’en proud knighthood might have +laid.”</p> +<p>William was now quite unable to contain himself, and seemed +utterly to have forgotten the grievous charge against him; to +such a pitch did his joy o’erleap his jeopardy.</p> +<p>Master Silas in the meantime was much disquieted; and first +did he strip away all the white feather from every pen in the +inkpot, and then did he mend them, one and all, and then did he +slit them with his thumb-nail, and then did he pare and slash +away at them again and then did he cut off the tops, until at +last he left upon them neither nib nor plume, nor enough of the +middle to serve as quill to a virginal. It went to my heart +to see such a power of pens so wasted; there could not be fewer +than five. Sir Thomas was less wary than usual, being +overjoyed. For great poets do mightly affect to have little +poets under them; and little poets do forget themselves in great +company, as fiddlers do, who <i>hail fellow well met</i> even +with lords.</p> +<p>Sir Thomas did not interrupt our Bill’s wild +gladness. I never thought so worshipful a personage could +bear so much. At last he said unto the lad,—</p> +<p>“I do bethink me, if thou hearest much more of my +poetry, and the success attendant thereon, good Doctor Glaston +would tear thy skirt off ere he could drag thee back from the +occupation.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I fear me, for once, all his wisdom would sluice out in +vain.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It was reported to me that when our virgin +queen’s highness (her Dear Dread’s <a +name="citation157a"></a><a href="#footnote157a" +class="citation">[157a]</a> ear not being then poisoned) heard +these verses, she said before her courtiers, to the sore travail +of some, and heart’s content of others,—</p> +<p>“‘We need not envy our young cousin James of +Scotland his ass’s bite of a thistle, having such flowers +as these gillyflowers on the chimney-stacks of +Charlecote.’</p> +<p>“I could have told her highness that all this poetry, +from beginning to end, was real matter of fact, well and truly +spoken by mine own self. I had only to harness the rhymes +thereunto, at my leisure.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“None could ever doubt it. Greeks and Trojans may +fight for the quince; neither shall have it</p> +<p class="poetry">While a Warwickshire lad<br /> +Is on earth to be had,<br /> +With a wand to wag<br /> +On a trusty nag,<br /> +He shall keep the lists<br /> +With cudgel or fists.<br /> +And black shall be whose eye<br /> +Looks evil on Lucy.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Nay, nay, nay! do not trespass too soon upon +heroics. Thou seest thou canst not hold thy wind beyond +eight lines. What wouldst thou do under the heavy mettle +that should have wrought such wonders at Pavia, if thou findest +these petards so troublesome in discharging? Surely, the +good doctor, had he entered at large on the subject, would have +been very particular in urging this expostulation.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, to my mortification I must confess that I took to +myself the counsel he was giving to another; a young gentleman +who, from his pale face, his abstinence at table, his cough, his +taciturnity, and his gentleness, seemed already more than half +poet. To him did Doctor Glaston urge, with all his zeal and +judgment, many arguments against the vocation; telling him that, +even in college, he had few applauders, being the first, and not +the second or third, who always are more fortunate; reminding him +that he must solicit and obtain much interest with men of rank +and quality, before he could expect their favour; and that +without it the vein chilled, the nerve relaxed, and the poet was +left at next door to the bellman. ‘In the coldness of +the world,’ said he, ‘in the absence of ready friends +and adherents, to light thee upstairs to the richly tapestried +chamber of the muses, thy spirits will abandon thee, thy heart +will sicken and swell within thee; overladen, thou wilt make, O +Ethelbert! a slow and painful progress, and ere the door open, +sink. Praise giveth weight unto the wanting, and happiness +giveth elasticity unto the heavy. As the mightiest streams +of the unexplored world, America, run languidly in the night, <a +name="citation159a"></a><a href="#footnote159a" +class="citation">[159a]</a> and await the sun on high to contend +with him in strength and grandeur, so doth genius halt and pause +in the thraldom of outspread darkness, and move onward with all +his vigour then only when creative light and jubilant warmth +surround him.’</p> +<p>“Ethelbert coughed faintly; a tinge of red, the size of +a rose-bud, coloured the middle of his cheek; and yet he seemed +not to be pained by the reproof. He looked fondly and +affectionately at his teacher, who thus proceeded:</p> +<p>“‘My dear youth, do not carry the stone of +Sisyphus on thy shoulder to pave the way to disappointment. +If thou writest but indifferent poetry none will envy thee, and +some will praise thee; but nature, in her malignity, hath denied +unto thee a capacity for the enjoyment of such praise. In +this she hath been kinder to most others than to thee; we know +wherein she hath been kinder to thee than to most others. +If thou writest good poetry many will call it flat, many will +call it obscure, many will call it inharmonious; and some of +these will speak as they think; for, as in giving a feast to +great numbers, it is easier to possess the wine than to procure +the cups, so happens it in poetry; thou hast the beverage of thy +own growth, but canst not find the recipients. What is +simple and elegant to thee and me, to many an honest man is flat +and sterile; what to us is an innocently sly allusion, to as +worthy a one as either of us is dull obscurity; and that moreover +which swims upon our brain, and which throbs against our temples, +and which we delight in sounding to ourselves when the voice has +done with it, touches their ear, and awakens no harmony in any +cell of it. Rivals will run up to thee and call thee a +plagiary, and, rather than that proof should be wanting, similar +words to some of thine will be thrown in thy teeth out of +Leviticus and Deuteronomy.</p> +<p>“‘Do you desire calm studies? Do you desire +high thoughts? Penetrate into theology. What is +nobler than to dissect and discern the opinions of the gravest +men upon the subtlest matters? And what glorious victories +are those over Infidelity and Scepticism! How much loftier, +how much more lasting in their effects, than such as ye are +invited unto by what this ingenious youth hath contemptuously and +truly called</p> +<p class="poetry">“The swaggering drum, and trumpet hoarse +with rage.”</p> +<p>And what a delightful and edifying sight it is, to see +hundreds of the most able doctors, all stripped for the combat, +each closing with his antagonist, and tugging and tearing, tooth +and nail, to lay down and establish truths which have been +floating in the air for ages, and which the lower order of +mortals are forbidden to see, and commanded to embrace. And +then the shouts of victory! And then the crowns of amaranth +held over their heads by the applauding angels! Besides, +these combats have other great and distinct advantages. +Whereas, in the carnal, the longer ye contend the more blows do +ye receive; in these against Satan, the more fiercely and +pertinaciously ye drive at him, the slacker do ye find him; every +good hit makes him redden and rave with anger, but diminishes its +effect.</p> +<p>“‘My dear friends, who would not enter a service +in which he may give blows to his mortal enemy, and receive none; +and in which not only the eternal gain is incalculable, but also +the temporal, at four-and-twenty, may be far above the emolument +of generals, who, before the priest was born, had bled profusely +for their country, established her security, brightened her +glory, and augmented her dominions?’”</p> +<p>At this pause did Sir Thomas turn unto Sir Silas, and +asked,—</p> +<p>“What sayest thou, Silas?”</p> +<p>Whereupon did Sir Silas make answer,—</p> +<p>“I say it is so, and was so, and should be so, and shall +be so. If the queen’s brother had not sopped the +priests and bishops out of the Catholic cup, they could have held +the Catholic cup in their own hands, instead of yielding it into +his. They earned their money; if they sold their +consciences for it, the business is theirs, not ours. I +call this facing the devil with a vengeance. We have their +coats; no matter who made ’em,—we have ’em, I +say, and we will wear ’em; and not a button, tag, or +tassel, shall any man tear away.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas then turned to Willy, and requested him to proceed +with the doctor’s discourse, who thereupon +continued:—</p> +<p>“‘Within your own recollections, how many good, +quiet, inoffensive men, unendowed with any extraordinary +abilities, have been enabled, by means of divinity, to enjoy a +long life in tranquillity and affluence?’</p> +<p>“Whereupon did one of the young gentlemen smile, and, on +small encouragement from Doctor Glaston to enounce the cause +thereof, he repeated these verses, which he gave afterward unto +me:—</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘In the names on +our books<br /> + Was standing Tom Flooke’s,<br /> +Who took in due time his degrees;<br /> + Which when he had taken,<br /> + Like Ascham or Bacon,<br /> +By night he could snore and by day he could sneeze.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘Calm, pithy, +pragmatical, <a name="citation164a"></a><a href="#footnote164a" +class="citation">[164a]</a><br /> + Tom Flooke he could at a call<br /> +Rise up like a hound from his sleep;<br /> + And if many a quarto<br /> + He gave not his heart to,<br /> +If pellucid in lore, in his cups he was deep.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘He never did +harm,<br /> + And his heart might be warm,<br /> +For his doublet most certainly was so;<br /> + And now has Torn Flooke<br /> + A quieter nook<br /> +Than ever had Spenser or Tasso.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘He lives in his +house,<br /> + As still as a mouse,<br /> +Until he has eaten his dinner;<br /> + But then doth his nose<br /> + Outroar all the woes<br /> +That encompass the death of a sinner.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘And there oft +has been seen<br /> + No less than a dean<br /> +To tarry a week in the parish,<br /> + In October and March,<br /> + When deans are less starch,<br /> +And days are less gleamy and garish.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘That Sunday +Tom’s eyes<br /> + Look’d always more wise,<br /> +He repeated more often his text;<br /> + Two leaves stuck together,<br /> + (The fault of the weather)<br /> +And . . . <i>the rest ye shall hear in my next</i>.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘At mess he lost +quite<br /> + His small appetite,<br /> +By losing his friend the good dean;<br /> + The cook’s sight must fail her!<br /> + The eggs sure are staler!<br /> +The beef, too!—why, what can it mean?</p> +<p class="poetry"> “‘He turned off +the butcher,<br /> + To the cook could he clutch her,<br /> +What his choler had done there’s no saying—<br /> + ’T is verily said<br /> + He smote low the cock’s head,<br /> +And took other pullets for laying.’</p> +<p>“On this being concluded, Doctor Glaston said he +shrewdly suspected an indigestion on the part of Mr. Thomas +Flooke, caused by sitting up late and studying hard with Mr. +Dean; and he protested that theology itself should not carry us +into the rawness of the morning air, particularly in such +critical months as March and October, in one of which the sap +rises, in the other sinks, and there are many stars very +sinister.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas shook his head, and declared he would not be +uncharitable to rector, or dean, or doctor, but that certain +surmises swam uppermost. He then winked at Master Silas, +who said, incontinently,—</p> +<p>“You have it, Sir Thomas! The blind buzzards! with +their stars and saps!”</p> +<p>“Well, but Silas! you yourself have told us over and +over again, in church, that there are <i>arcana</i>.”</p> +<p>“So there are,—I uphold it,” replied Master +Silas; “but a fig for the greater part, and a fig-leaf for +the rest. As for these signs, they are as plain as any page +in the Revelation.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas, after short pondering, said, +scoffingly,—</p> +<p>“In regard to the rawness of the air having any effect +whatsoever on those who discourse orthodoxically on theology, it +is quite as absurd as to imagine that a man ever caught cold in a +Protestant church. I am rather of opinion that it was a +judgment on the rector for his evil-mindedness toward the cook, +the Lord foreknowing that he was about to be wilful and vengeful +in that quarter. It was, however, more advisedly that he +took other pullets, on his own view of the case, although it +might be that the same pullets would suit him again as well as +ever, when his appetite should return; for it doth not appear +that they were loath to lay, but laid somewhat +unsatisfactorily.</p> +<p>“Now, youth,” continued his worship, “if in +our clemency we should spare thy life, study this higher +elegiacal strain which thou hast carried with thee from Oxford; +it containeth, over and above an unusual store of biography, much +sound moral doctrine, for those who are heedful in the weighing +of it. And what can be more affecting than—</p> +<p class="poetry"> ‘At mess he lost +quite<br /> + His small appetite,<br /> +By losing his friend the good dean’?</p> +<p>And what an insight into character! Store it up; store +it up! <i>Small appetite</i>, particular; <i>good dean</i>, +generick.”</p> +<p>Hereupon did Master Silas jerk me with his indicative joint, +the elbow to wit, and did say in my ear,—</p> +<p>“He means <i>deanery</i>. Give me one of those +bones so full of marrow, and let my lord bishop have all the meat +over it, and welcome. If a dean is not on his stilts, he is +not on his stumps; he stands on his own ground; he is a +<i>noli-metangeretarian</i>.”</p> +<p>“What art thou saying of those sectaries, good Master +Silas?” quoth Sir Thomas, not hearing him distinctly.</p> +<p>“I was talking of the dean,” replied Master +Silas. “He was the very dean who wrote and sang that +song called the <i>Two Jacks</i>.”</p> +<p>“Hast it?” asked he.</p> +<p>Master Silas shook his head, and, trying in vain to recollect +it, said at last,—</p> +<p>“After dinner it sometimes pops out of a filbert-shell +in a crack; and I have known it float on the first glass of +Herefordshire cider; it also hath some affinity with very stiff +and old bottled beer; but in a morning it seemeth unto me like a +remnant of over-night.”</p> +<p>“Our memory waneth, Master Silas!” quoth Sir +Thomas, looking seriously. “If thou couldst repeat +it, without the grimace of singing, it were not ill.”</p> +<p>Master Silas struck the table with his fist, and repeated the +first stave angrily; but in the second he forgot the admonition +of Sir Thomas, and did sing outright,—</p> +<p class="poetry"> “Jack Calvin and Jack +Cade,<br /> + Two gentles of one trade,<br /> + Two tinkers,<br /> + Very gladly would pull down<br /> + Mother Church and Father Crown,<br /> + And would starve or would drown<br /> + Right thinkers.</p> +<p class="poetry"> “Honest man! honest +man!<br /> + Fill the can, fill the can,<br /> +They are coming! they are coming! they are coming!<br /> + If any drop be left,<br /> + It might tempt ’em to a theft—<br /> +Zooks! it was only the ale that was humming.”</p> +<p>“In the first stave, gramercy! there is an awful +verity,” quoth Sir Thomas; “but I wonder that a dean +should let his skewer slip out, and his fat catch fire so +wofully, in the second. Light stuff, Silas, fit only for +ale-houses.”</p> +<p>Master Silas was nettled in the nose, and answered,—</p> +<p>“Let me see the man in Warwickshire, and in all the +counties round, who can run at such a rate with so light a +feather in the palm of his hand. I am no poet, thank God! +but I know what folks can do, and what folks cannot +do.”</p> +<p>“Well, Silas,” replied Sir Thomas, “after +thy thanksgiving for being no poet, let us have the rest of the +piece.”</p> +<p>“The rest!” quoth Master Silas. “When +the ale hath done with its humming, it is time, methinks, to +dismiss it. Sir, there never was any more; you might as +well ask for more after Amen or the see of Canterbury.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas was dissatisfied, and turned off the discourse; and +peradventure he grew more inclined to be gracious unto Willy from +the slight rub his chaplain had given him, were it only for the +contrariety. When he had collected his thoughts he was +determined to assert his supremacy on the score of poetry.</p> +<p>“Deans, I perceive, like other quality,” said he, +“cannot run on long together. My friend, Sir Everard +Starkeye, could never overleap four bars. I remember but +one composition of his, on a young lady who mocked at his +inconsistency, in calling her sometimes his Grace and at other +times his Muse.</p> +<p class="poetry">‘My Grace shall Fanny Carew be,<br /> + While here she deigns to stay;<br /> +And (ah, how sad the change for me!)<br /> + My Muse when far away!’</p> +<p>And when we laughed at him for turning his back upon her after +the fourth verse, all he could say for himself was, that he would +rather a game at <i>all fours</i> with Fanny, than <i>ombre</i> +and <i>picquet</i> with the finest furbelows in +Christendom. Men of condition do usually want a belt in the +course.”</p> +<p>Whereunto said Master Silas,—</p> +<p>“Men out of condition are quite as liable to lack it, +methinks.”</p> +<p>“Silas! Silas!” replied the knight, +impatiently, “prithee keep to thy divinity, thy strong hold +upon Zion; thence none that faces thee can draw thee without +being bitten to the bone. Leave poetry to me.”</p> +<p>“With all my heart,” quoth Master Silas, “I +will never ask a belt from her, until I see she can afford to +give a shirt. She has promised a belt, indeed,—not +one, however, that doth much improve the wind,—to this lad +here, and will keep her word; but she was forced to borrow the +pattern from a Carthusian friar, and somehow it slips above the +shoulder.”</p> +<p>“I am by no means sure of that,” quoth Sir +Thomas. “He shall have fair play. He carrieth +in his mind many valuable things, whereof it hath pleased +Providence to ordain him the depository. He hath laid +before us certain sprigs of poetry from Oxford, trim as +pennyroyal, and larger leaves of household divinity, the most +mildly-savoured,—pleasant in health and wholesome in +sickness.”</p> +<p>“I relish not such mutton-broth divinity,” said +Master Silas. “It makes me sick in order to settle my +stomach.”</p> +<p>“We may improve it,” said the knight, “but +first let us hear more.”</p> +<p>Then did William Shakspeare resume Dr. Glaston’s +discourse.</p> +<p>“‘Ethelbert! I think thou walkest but +little; otherwise I should take thee with me, some fine fresh +morning, as far as unto the first hamlet on the Cherwell. +There lies young Wellerby, who, the year before, was wont to pass +many hours of the day poetising amid the ruins of Godstow +nunnery. It is said that he bore a fondness toward a young +maiden in that place, formerly a village, now containing but two +old farm-houses. In my memory there were still extant +several dormitories. Some love-sick girl had recollected an +ancient name, and had engraven on a stone with a garden-nail, +which lay in rust near it,—</p> +<blockquote><p style="text-align: center"><span +class="GutSmall">“POORE ROSAMUND.”</span></p> +</blockquote> +<p>I entered these precincts, and beheld a youth of manly form +and countenance, washing and wiping a stone with a handful of wet +grass; and on my going up to him, and asking what he had found, +he shewed it to me. The next time I saw him was near the +banks of the Cherwell. He had tried, it appears, to forget +or overcome his foolish passion, and had applied his whole mind +unto study. He was foiled by his competitor; and now he +sought consolation in poetry. Whether this opened the +wounds that had closed in his youthful breast, and malignant +Love, in his revenge, poisoned it; or whether the disappointment +he had experienced in finding others preferred to him, first in +the paths of fortune, then in those of the muses,—he was +thought to have died broken-hearted.</p> +<p>“‘About half a mile from St. John’s College +is the termination of a natural terrace, with the Cherwell close +under it, in some places bright with yellow and red flowers +glancing and glowing through the stream, and suddenly in others +dark with the shadows of many different trees, in broad, +overbending thickets, and with rushes spear-high, and +party-coloured flags.</p> +<p>“‘After a walk in Midsummer, the emersion of our +hands into the cool and closing grass is surely not the least +among our animal delights. I was just seated, and the first +sensation of rest vibrated in me gently, as though it were music +to the limbs, when I discovered by a hollow in the herbage that +another was near. The long meadow-sweet and blooming burnet +half concealed from me him whom the earth was about to hide +totally and for ever.</p> +<p>“‘Master Batchelor,’ said I, ‘it is +ill-sleeping by the water-side.’</p> +<p>“‘No answer was returned. I arose, went to +the place, and recognised poor Wellerby. His brow was +moist, his cheek was warm. A few moments earlier, and that +dismal lake whereunto and wherefrom the waters of life, the +buoyant blood, ran no longer, might have received one vivifying +ray reflected from my poor casement. I might not indeed +have comforted—I have often failed; but there is one who +never has; and the strengthener of the bruised reed should have +been with us.</p> +<p>“‘Remembering that his mother did abide one mile +further on, I walked forward to the mansion, and asked her what +tidings she lately had received of her son. She replied +that, having given up his mind to light studies, the fellows of +the college would not elect him. The master had warned him +beforehand to abandon his selfish poetry, take up manfully the +quarterstaff of logic, and wield it for St. John’s, come +who would into the ring. “‘We want our +man,’” said he to me, “‘and your son hath +failed us in the hour of need. Madam, he hath been foully +beaten in the schools by one he might have swallowed, with due +exercise.’”</p> +<p>“‘“I rated him, told him I was poor, and he +knew it. He was stung, and threw himself upon my neck, and +wept. Twelve days have passed since, and only three rainy +ones. I hear he has been seen upon the knoll yonder; but +hither he hath not come. I trust he knows at last the value +of time, and I shall be heartily glad to see him after this +accession of knowledge. Twelve days, it is true, are rather +a chink than a gap in time; yet, O gentle sir, they are that +chink which makes the vase quite valueless. There are light +words which may never be shaken off the mind they fall on. +My child, who was hurt by me, will not let me see the +marks.”</p> +<p>“‘“Lady,” said I, “none are left +upon him. Be comforted! thou shalt see him this hour. +All that thy God hath not taken is yet thine.” She +looked at me earnestly, and would have then asked something, but +her voice failed her. There was no agony, no motion, save +in the lips and cheeks. Being the widow of one who fought +under Hawkins, she remembered his courage and sustained the +shock, saying calmly, “God’s will be done! I +pray that he find me as worthy as he findeth me willing to join +them.”</p> +<p>“‘Now, in her unearthly thoughts she had led her +only son to the bosom of her husband; and in her spirit (which +often is permitted to pass the gates of death with holy love) she +left them both with their Creator.</p> +<p>“‘The curate of the village sent those who should +bring home the body; and some days afterward he came unto me, +beseeching me to write the epitaph. Being no friend to +stonecutters’ charges, I entered not into biography, but +wrote these few words:—</p> +<blockquote><p style="text-align: center">JOANNES WELLERBY,<br /> +LITERARUM QUÆSIVIT GLORIAM,<br /> +VIDET DEI.’”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>“Poor tack! poor tack!” sourly quoth Master +Silas. “If your wise doctor could say nothing more +about the fool, who died like a rotten sheep among the darnels, +his Latin might have held out for the father, and might have told +people he was as cool as a cucumber at home, and as hot as pepper +in battle. Could he not find room enough on the whinstone, +to tell the folks of the village how he played the devil among +the dons, burning their fingers when they would put thumbscrews +upon us, punching them in the weasand as a blacksmith punches a +horse-shoe, and throwing them overboard like bilgewater?</p> +<p>“Has Oxford lost all her Latin? Here is no +<i>capitani filius</i>; no more mention of family than a Welchman +would have allowed him; no <i>hîc jacet</i>; and, worse +than all, the devil a tittle of <i>spe redemptionis</i>, or +<i>anno Domini</i>.”</p> +<p>“Willy!” quoth Sir Thomas, “I shrewdly do +suspect there was more, and that thou hast forgotten +it.”</p> +<p>“Sir!” answered Willy, “I wrote not down the +words, fearing to mis-spell them, and begged them of the doctor, +when I took my leave of him on the morrow; and verily he wrote +down all he had repeated. I keep them always in the tin-box +in my waistcoat-pocket, among the eel-hooks, on a scrap of paper +a finger’s length and breadth, folded in the middle to +fit. And when the eels are running, I often take it out and +read it before I am aware. I could as soon forget my own +epitaph as this.”</p> +<p>“Simpleton!” said Sir Thomas, with his gentle, +compassionate smile; “but thou hast cleared +thyself.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I think the doctor gave one idle chap as much solid +pudding as he could digest, with a slice to spare for +another.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“And yet after this pudding the doctor gave him a +spoonful of custard, flavoured with a little bitter, which was +mostly left at the bottom for the other idle chap.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas not only did endure this very goodnaturedly, but +deigned even to take in good part the smile upon my countenance, +as though he were a smile collector, and as though his estate +were so humble that he could hold his laced bonnet (in all his +bravery) for bear and fiddle.</p> +<p>He then said unto Willy,</p> +<p>“Place likewise this custard before us.”</p> +<p>“There is but little of it; the platter is +shallow,” replied he; “’t was suited to Master +Ethelbert’s appetite. The contents were these:</p> +<p>“‘The things whereon thy whole soul brooded in its +innermost recesses, and with all its warmth and energy, will pass +unprized and unregarded, not only throughout thy lifetime but +long after. For the higher beauties of poetry are beyond +the capacity, beyond the vision of almost all. Once perhaps +in half a century a single star is discovered, then named and +registered, then mentioned by five studious men to five more; at +last some twenty say, or repeat in writing, what they have heard +about it. Other stars await other discoveries. Few +and solitary and wide asunder are those who calculate their +relative distances, their mysterious influences, their glorious +magnitude, and their stupendous height. ’T is so, +believe me, and ever was so, with the truest and best +poetry. Homer, they say, was blind; he might have been ere +he died,—that he sat among the blind, we are sure.</p> +<p>“‘Happy they who, like this young lad from +Stratford, write poetry on the saddle-bow when their geldings are +jaded, and keep the desk for better purposes.’</p> +<p>“The young gentlemen, like the elderly, all turned their +faces toward me, to my confusion, so much did I remark of sneer +and scoff at my cost. Master Ethelbert was the only one who +spared me. He smiled and said,—</p> +<p>“‘Be patient! From the higher heavens of +poetry, it is long before the radiance of the brightest star can +reach the world below. We hear that one man finds out one +beauty, another man finds out another, placing his observatory +and instruments on the poet’s grave. The worms must +have eaten us before it is rightly known what we are. It is +only when we are skeletons that we are boxed and ticketed, and +prized and shewn. Be it so! I shall not be tired of +waiting.’”</p> +<p>“Reasonable youth!” said Sir Thomas; “yet +both he and Glaston walk rather <i>a-straddle</i>, +methinks. They might have stepped up to thee more +straightforwardly, and told thee the trade ill suiteth thee, +having little fire, little fantasy, and little learning. +Furthermore, that one poet, as one bull, sufficeth for two +parishes, and that where they are stuck too close together they +are apt to fire, like haystacks. I have known it myself; I +have had my malignants and scoffers.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I never could have thought it!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“There again! Another proof of thy +inexperience.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Mat Atterend! Mat Atterend! where wert thou +sleeping?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I shall now from my own stores impart unto thee what +will avail to tame thee, shewing the utter hopelessness of +standing on that golden weathercock which supporteth but one at a +time.</p> +<p>“The passion for poetry wherewith Monsieur Dubois would +have inspired me, as he was bound to do, being paid beforehand, +had cold water thrown upon it by that unlucky one, Sir +Everard. He ridiculed the idea of male and female rhymes, +and the necessity of trying them as rigidly by the eye as by the +ear,—saying to Monsieur Dubois that the palate, in which +the French excel all mortals, ought also to be consulted in their +acceptance or rejection. Monsieur Dubois told us that if we +did not wish to be taught French verse, he would teach us +English. Sir Everard preferred the Greek; but Monsieur +Dubois would not engage to teach the mysteries of that poetry in +fewer than thirty lessons,—having (since his misfortunes) +forgotten the letters and some other necessaries.</p> +<p>“The first poem I ever wrote was in the character of a +shepherd, to Mistress Anne Nanfan, daughter of Squire Fulke +Nanfan, of Worcestershire, at that time on a visit to the +worshipful family of Compton at Long Compton.</p> +<p>“We were young creatures,—I but twenty-four and +seven months (for it was written on the 14th of May), and she +well-nigh upon a twelve-month younger. My own verses, the +first, are neither here nor there; indeed, they were imbedded in +solid prose, like lampreys and ram’s-horns <a +name="citation181a"></a><a href="#footnote181a" +class="citation">[181a]</a> in our limestone, and would be hard +to get out whole. What they are may be seen by her answer, +all in verse:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Faithful shepherd! dearest +Tommy!<br /> +I have received the letter from ye,<br /> + And mightily delight therein.<br /> +But mother, <i>she</i> says, “Nanny! Nanny!<br /> +<i>How</i>, <i>being staid and prudent</i>, <i>can ye</i><br /> + <i>Think of a man and not of sin</i>?”</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Sir shepherd! I held down +my head,<br /> +And “<i>Mother</i>! <i>fie</i>, <i>for shame</i>!” I +said;<br /> + All I could say would not content her;<br /> +Mother she would for ever harp on’t,<br /> +“<i>A man’s no better than a sarpent</i>,<br /> + <i>And not a crumb more +innocenter</i>.”’</p> +<p>“I know not how it happeneth; but a poet doth open +before a poet, albeit of baser sort. It is not that I hold +my poetry to be better than some other in time past, it is +because I would shew thee that I was virtuous and wooed +virtuously, that I repeat it. Furthermore, I wished to +leave a deep impression on the mother’s mind that she was +exceedingly wrong in doubting my innocence.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Gracious Heaven! and was this too doubted?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Maybe not; but the whole race of men, the whole male +sex, wanted and found in me a protector. I shewed her what +I was ready to do.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Perhaps, sir, it was for that very thing that she put +the daughter back and herself forward.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I say not so; but thou mayest know as much as +befitteth, by what follows:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Worshipful lady! honoured +madam!<br /> +I at this present truly glad am<br /> + To have so fair an opportunity<br /> +Of saying I would be the man<br /> +To bind in wedlock Mistress Anne,<br /> + Living with her in holy unity.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And for a jointure I will +gi’e her<br /> +A good two hundred pounds a year<br /> + Accruing from my landed rents,<br /> +Whereof see t’other paper, telling<br /> +Lands, copses, and grown woods for felling,<br /> + Capons, and cottage tenements.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And who must come at sound of +horn,<br /> +And who pays but a barley-corn,<br /> + And who is bound to keep a whelp,<br /> +And what is brought me for the pound,<br /> +And copyholders, which are sound,<br /> + And which do need the leech’s help.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And you may see in these two +pages<br /> +Exact their illnesses and ages,<br /> + Enough (God willing) to content ye;<br /> +Who looks full red, who looks full yellow,<br /> +Who plies the mullen, who the mallow,<br /> + Who fails at fifty, who at twenty.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Jim Yates must go; he’s one +day very hot,<br /> +And one day ice; I take a heriot;<br /> + And poorly, poorly’s Jacob Burgess.<br /> +The doctor tells me he has pour’d<br /> +Into his stomach half his hoard<br /> + Of anthelminticals and purges.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Judith, the wife of Ebenezer<br +/> +Fillpots, won’t have him long to tease her;<br /> + Fillpots blows hot and cold like Jim,<br /> +And, sleepless lest the boys should plunder<br /> +His orchard, he must soon knock under;<br /> + Death has been looking out for him.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘He blusters; but his good yard +land<br /> +Under the church, his ale-house, and<br /> + His Bible, which he cut in spite,<br /> +Must all fall in; he stamps and swears<br /> +And sets his neighbours by the ears—<br /> + Fillpots, thy saddle sits not tight!’</p> +<p>“The epitaph is ready:—</p> +<p +class="poetry"> “‘<i>Here</i><br +/> +<i>Lies one whom all his friends did fear</i><br /> + <i>More than they ever feared the Lord</i>;<br /> +<i>In peace he was at times a Christian</i>;<br /> +<i>In strife</i>, <i>what stubborner Philistine</i>!<br /> + <i>Sing</i>, <i>sing his psalm with one +accord</i>.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And he who lent my lord his +wife<br /> +Has but a very ticklish life;<br /> + Although she won him many a hundred,<br /> +’T won’t do; none comes with briefs and wills,<br /> +And all her gainings are gilt pills<br /> + From the sick madman that she plundered.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘And the brave lad who sent the +bluff<br /> +Olive-faced Frenchman (sure enough)<br /> + Screaming and scouring like a plover,<br /> +Must follow—him I mean who dash’d<br /> +Into the water and then thrash’d<br /> + The cullion past the town of Dover.</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘But first there goes the blear +old dame<br /> +Who nurs’d me; you have heard her name,<br /> + No doubt, at Compton, Sarah Salways;<br /> +There are twelve groats at once, beside<br /> +The frying-pan in which she fried<br /> + Her pancakes.</p> +<p style="text-align: center" class="poetry">Madam, I am always, +etc.,</p> +<p style="text-align: right" class="poetry">Sir <span +class="smcap">Thomas Lucy</span>, Knight.’</p> +<p>“I did believe that such a clear and conscientious +exposure of my affairs would have brought me a like return. +My letter was sent back to me with small courtesy. It may +be there was no paper in the house, or none equalling mine in +whiteness. No notice was taken of the rent-roll; but +between the second and third stanza these four lines were +written, in a very fine hand:—</p> +<p class="poetry">“‘Most honour’d knight, Sir +Thomas! two<br /> +For merry Nan will never do;<br /> +Now under favour let me say ’t,<br /> +She will bring more herself than that.’</p> +<p>I have reason to believe that the worthy lady did neither +write nor countenance the same, perhaps did not ever know of +them. She always had at her elbow one who jogged it when he +listed, and although he could not overrule the daughter, he took +especial care that none other should remove her from his +tutelage, even when she had fairly grown up to woman’s +estate.</p> +<p>“Now, after all this condescension and confidence, +promise me, good lad, promise that thou wilt not edge and elbow +me. Never let it be said, when people say, <i>Sir Thomas +was a poet when he will edit</i>,—<i>So is Bill +Shakspeare</i>! It beseemeth not that our names do go +together cheek by jowl in this familiar fashion, like an old +beagle and a whelp, in couples, where if the one would, the other +would not.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“Sir, while these thoughts are passing in your mind, +remember there is another pair of couples out of which it would +be as well to keep the cur’s neck.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Young man! dost thou understand Master +Silas?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“But too well. Not those couples in which it might +be apprehended that your worship and my unworthiness should +appear too close together; but those sorrowfuller which +peradventure might unite Master Silas and me in our road to +Warwick and upwards. But I resign all right and title unto +these as willingly as I did unto the other, and am as ready to +let him go alone.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“If we keep wheeling and wheeling, like a flock of +pigeons, and rising again when we are within a foot of the +ground, we shall never fill the craw.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Do thou then question him, Silas.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“I am none of the quorum; the business is none of +mine.”</p> +<p>Then Sir Thomas took Master Silas again into the bay window, +and said softly,—</p> +<p>“Silas, he hath no inkling of thy meaning. The +business is a ticklish one. I like not overmuch to meddle +and make therein.”</p> +<p>Master Silas stood dissatisfied awhile, and then +answered,—</p> +<p>“The girl’s mother, sir, was housemaid and +sempstress in your own family, time back, and you thereby have a +right over her unto the third and fourth generation.”</p> +<p>“I may have, Silas,” said his worship, “but +it was no longer than four or five years agone that folks were +fain to speak maliciously of me for only finding my horse in her +hovel.”</p> +<p>Sir Silas looked red and shiny as a ripe strawberry on a +Snitterfield tile, and answered somewhat peevishly,—</p> +<p>“The same folks, I misgive me, may find the +rogue’s there any night in the week.”</p> +<p>Whereunto replied Sir Thomas, mortifiedly,</p> +<p>“I cannot think it, Silas! I cannot think +it.”</p> +<p>And after some hesitation and disquiet,—</p> +<p>“Nay, I am resolved I will not think it; no man, friend +or enemy, shall push it into me.”</p> +<p>“Worshipful sir,” answered Master Silas, “I +am as resolute as any one in what I would think and what I would +not think, and never was known to fight dunghill in either +cockpit.</p> +<p>“Were he only out of the way, she might do duty, but +what doth she now?</p> +<p>“She points his young beard for him; persuading him it +grows thicker and thicker, blacker and blacker; she washes his +ruff, stiffens it, plaits it, tries it upon his neck, removes the +hair from under it, pinches it with thumb and fore-finger, +pretending that he hath moiled it, puts her hand all the way +round it, <i>setting it to rights</i>, as she calleth +it—</p> +<p>“Ah, Sir Thomas! a louder whistle than that will never +call her back again when she is off with him.”</p> +<p>Sir Thomas was angered, and cried tartly,—</p> +<p>“Who whistled? I would know.”</p> +<p>Master Silas said submissively,—</p> +<p>“Your honour, as wrongfully I fancied.”</p> +<p>“Wrongfully, indeed, and to my no small disparagement +and discomfort,” said the knight, verily believing that he +had not whistled; for deep and dubious were his cogitations.</p> +<p>“I protest,” went he on to say, “I protest +it was the wind of the casement; and if I live another year I +will put a better in the place of it. Whistle +indeed—for what? I care no more about her than about +an unfledged cygnet,—a child, <a name="citation189a"></a><a +href="#footnote189a" class="citation">[189a]</a> a chicken, a +mere kitten, a crab-blossom in the hedge.”</p> +<p>The dignity of his worship was wounded by Master Silas +unaware, and his wrath again turned suddenly upon poor +William.</p> +<p>“Hark-ye, knave! hark-ye again, ill-looking stripling, +lanky from vicious courses! I will reclaim thee from them; +I will do what thy own father would, and cannot. Thou shalt +follow his business.”</p> +<p>“I cannot do better, may it please your worship!” +said the lad.</p> +<p>“It shall lead thee unto wealth and +respectability,” said the knight, somewhat appeased by his +ready compliancy and low, gentle voice. “Yea, but not +here,—no witches, no wantons (this word fell gravely and at +full-length upon the ear), no spells hereabout.</p> +<p>“Gloucestershire is within a measured mile of thy +dwelling. There is one at Bristol, formerly a parish-boy, +or little better, who now writeth himself <i>gentleman</i> in +large, round letters, and hath been elected, I hear, to serve as +burgess in parliament for his native city; just as though he had +eaten a capon or turkey-poult in his youth, and had actually been +at grammar school and college. When he began, he had not +credit for a goat-skin; and now, behold ye! this very coat upon +my back did cost me eight shillings the dearer for him, he bought +up wool so largely.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“May it please your worship! if my father so ordereth, I +go cheerfully.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou art grown discreet and dutiful. I am fain to +command thy release, taking thy promise on oath, and some +reasonable security, that thou wilt abstain and withhold in +future from that idle and silly slut, that sly and scoffing +giggler, Hannah Hathaway, with whom, to the heartache of thy +poor, worthy father, thou wantonly keepest company.”</p> +<p>Then did Sir Thomas ask Master Silas Gough for the Book of +Life, bidding him deliver it into the right hand of Billy, with +an eye upon him that he touch it with both lips,—it being +taught by the Jesuits, and caught too greedily out of their +society and communion, that whoso toucheth it with one lip only, +and thereafter sweareth falsely, cannot be called a perjurer, +since perjury is breaking an oath. But breaking half an +oath, as he doth who toucheth the Bible or crucifix with one lip +only, is no more perjury than breaking an eggshell is breaking an +egg, the shell being a part, and the egg being an integral.</p> +<p>William did take the Holy Book with all due reverence the +instant it was offered to his hand. His stature seemed to +rise therefrom as from a pulpit, and Sir Thomas was quite +edified.</p> +<p>“Obedient and conducible youth!” said he. +“See there, Master Silas! what hast thou now to say against +him? Who sees farthest?”</p> +<p>“The man from the gallows is the most likely, bating his +nightcap and blinker,” said Master Silas, peevishly. +“He hath not outwitted me yet.”</p> +<p>“He seized upon the Anchor of Faith like a +martyr,” said Sir Thomas, “and even now his face +burns red as elder-wine before the gossips.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“I await the further orders of your worship from the +chair.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“I return and seat myself.”</p> +<p>And then did Sir Thomas say with great complacency and +satisfaction in the ear of Master Silas,—</p> +<p>“What civility, and deference, and sedateness of mind, +Silas!”</p> +<p>But Master Silas answered not.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">William +Shakspeare</span>.</p> +<p>“Must I swear, sirs?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Yea, swear; be of good courage. I protest to thee +by my honour and knighthood, no ill shall come unto thee +therefrom. Thou shalt not be circumvented in thy simpleness +and inexperience.”</p> +<p>Willy, having taken the Book of Life, did kiss it piously, and +did press it unto his breast, saying,</p> +<p>“Tenderest love is the growth of my heart, as the grass +is of Alvescote mead.</p> +<p>“May I lose my life or my friends, or my memory, or my +reason; may I be viler in my own eyes than those men +are—”</p> +<p>Here he was interrupted, most lovingly, by Sir Thomas, who +said unto him,—</p> +<p>“Nay, nay, nay! poor youth! do not tell me so! they are +not such very bad men, since thou appealest unto +Cæsar,—that is, unto the judgment-seat.”</p> +<p>Now his worship did mean the two witnesses, Joseph and Euseby; +and, sooth to say there be many worse. But William had them +not in his eye; his thoughts were elsewhere, as will be evident, +for he went on thus:—</p> +<p>“—if ever I forget or desert thee, or ever cease +to worship <a name="citation193a"></a><a href="#footnote193a" +class="citation">[193a]</a> and cherish thee, my +Hannah!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“The madman! the audacious, desperate, outrageous +villain! Look-ye, sir! where he flung the Holy +Gospel! Behold it on the holly and box boughs in the +chimney-place, spreaden all abroad, like a lad about to be +whipped!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Miscreant knave! I will send after him +forthwith!</p> +<p>“Ho, there! is the caitiff at hand, or running +off?”</p> +<p>Jonas Greenfield the butler did budge forward after a while, +and say, on being questioned,—</p> +<p>“Surely, that was he! Was his nag tied to the iron +gate at the lodge, Master Silas?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“What should I know about a thief’s nag, Jonas +Greenfield?”</p> +<p>“And didst thou let him go, Jonas,—even +thou?” said Sir Thomas. “What! are none found +faithful?”</p> +<p>“Lord love your worship,” said Jonas Greenfield; +“a man of threescore and two may miss catching a kite upon +wing. Fleetness doth not make folks the faithfuller, or +that youth yonder beats us all in faithfulness.</p> +<p>“Look! he darts on like a greyhound whelp after a +leveret. He, sure enough, it was! I now remember the +sorrel mare his father bought of John Kinderley last Lammas, +swift as he threaded the trees along the park. He must have +reached Wellesbourne ere now at that gallop, and pretty nigh +Walton-hill.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“Merciful Christ! grant the country be rid of him for +ever! What dishonour upon his friends and native +town! A reputable wool-stapler’s son turned gipsy and +poet for life.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Silas</span>.</p> +<p>“A Beelzebub; he spake as bigly and fiercely as a soaken +yeoman at an election feast,—this obedient and conducible +youth!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="smcap">Sir +Thomas</span>.</p> +<p>“It was so written. Hold thy peace, +Silas!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center">LAUS DEO.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">E. B.</p> +<h3>POST-SCRIPTUM<br /> +BY ME, EPHRAIM BARNETT.</h3> +<p>Twelve days are over and gone since William Shakspeare did +leave our parts. And the spinster, Hannah Hathaway, is in +sad doleful plight about him; forasmuch as Master Silas Cough +went yesterday unto her, in her mother’s house at Shottery, +and did desire both her and her mother to take heed and be +admonished, that if ever she, Hannah, threw away one thought +after the runagate William Shakspeare, he should swing.</p> +<p>The girl could do nothing but weep; while as the mother did +give her solemn promise that her daughter should never more think +about him all her natural life, reckoning from the moment of this +her promise.</p> +<p>And the maiden, now growing more reasonable, did promise the +same. But Master Silas said,</p> +<p>“<i>I doubt you will</i>, <i>though</i>.”</p> +<p>“<i>No</i>,” said the mother, “<i>I answer +for her she shall not think of him</i>, <i>even if she see his +ghost</i>.”</p> +<p>Hannah screamed, and swooned, the better to forget him. +And Master Silas went home easier and contenteder. For now +all the worst of his hard duty was accomplished,—he having +been, on the Wednesday of last week, at the speech of Master John +Shakspeare, Will’s father, to inquire whether the sorrel +mare was his. To which question the said Master John +Shakspeare did answer, “<i>Yea</i>.”</p> +<p>“<i>Enough said</i>!” rejoined Master Silas.</p> +<p>“<i>Horse-stealing is capital</i>. <i>We shall +bind thee over to appear against the culprit</i>, <i>as +prosecutor</i>, <i>at the next assizes</i>.”</p> +<p>May the Lord in his mercy give the lad a good deliverance, if +so be it be no sin to wish it!</p> +<p><i>October</i> 1, <span class="GutSmall">A.D.</span> 1582.</p> +<p style="text-align: center">LAUS DEO.</p> +<h2><a name="page199"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 199</span>A +CONFERENCE<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">OF</span><br /> +MASTER EDMUND SPENSER,<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">A GENTLEMAN OF NOTE,</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">WITH</span><br /> +THE EARL OF ESSEX,<br /> +<span class="GutSmall">TOUCHING</span><br /> +THE STATE OF IRELAND.</h2> +<p style="text-align: center">ANNO DOM. 1598.</p> +<h3><a name="page201"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +201</span>PREFACE.</h3> +<p><span class="smcap">To</span> the same worthy man who +preserved the <i>Examination of Shakspeare</i>, we are indebted +for what he entitles on the cover, <i>A Conference of Master +Edmund Spenser</i>, <i>etc.</i>, <i>with the Earl of +Essex</i>. It must be confessed that this Conference throws +little light upon the great rebellion of Ireland. +Nevertheless, there are some curious minds, which perhaps may +take an interest in the conversation of two illustrious men, one +distinguished by his genius, the other by the favour of his +sovereign. The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little +practised in the ways of literature; much less is he gifted with +that prophetic spirit which can anticipate the judgment of the +public. It may be that he is too idle or too apathetic to +think anxiously or much about the matter; and yet he has been +amused, in his earlier days, at watching the first appearance of +such few books as he believed to be the production of some +powerful <a name="page202"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +202</span>intellect. He has seen people slowly rise up to +them, like carp in a pond when food is thrown among them; some of +which carp snatch suddenly at a morsel, and swallow it; others +touch it gently with their barbe, pass deliberately by, and leave +it; others wriggle and rub against it more disdainfully; others, +in sober truth, know not what to make of it, swim round and round +it, eye it on the sunny side, eye it on the shady, approach it, +question it, shoulder it, flap it with the tail, turn it over, +look askance at it, take a pea-shell or a worm instead of it, and +plunge again their contented heads into the comfortable mud; +after some seasons the same food will suit their stomachs +better.</p> +<p>The Editor has seen all this, and been an actor in it, whether +at Chantilly or Fontainebleau is indifferent to the reader; and +it has occurred to him that Shakspeare and Spenser were thrown +among such carp, and began to be relished (the worst, of course, +first) after many years. He is certain that these two +publications can interest only the antiquary and biographer; +enough if even such find their account in them.</p> + +<div class="gapspace"> </div> +<p><a name="page203"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 203</span><span +class="smcap">It</span> happened by mere accident that so obscure +a man as Ephraim Barnett, with no peculiar zeal for genius, and +with no other scope or intention than a lesson for his +descendants, has preserved an authentic memorial of the principal +event both in the life of Shakspeare and of Spenser; the one +event was very near the cause of terminating Shakspeare’s, +the other did terminate Spenser’s. He accounts for +his knowledge of the facts naturally enough, as those will +readily admit who have the patience to read his paper on the +subject. It would be inhumane in the Editor to ask any of +it for himself, when it is about to undergo such an exertion.</p> +<h3><a name="page205"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +205</span>ESSEX AND SPENSER.</h3> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“<span class="smcap">Instantly</span> on hearing of thy +arrival from Ireland I sent a message to thee, good Edmund, that +I might learn from one so judicious and dispassionate as thou +art, the real state of things in that distracted +country,—it having pleased the queen’s majesty to +think of appointing me her deputy, in order to bring the +rebellious to submission.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Wisely and well considered; but more worthily of her +judgment than her affection. May your lordship overcome, as +you have ever done, the difficulties and dangers you +foresee.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“We grow weak by striking at random; and knowing that I +must strike, and strike heavily, I would fain see exactly where +the stroke shall fall.</p> +<p><a name="page206"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +206</span>“Some attribute to the Irish all sorts of +excesses; others tell us that these are old stories; that there +is not a more inoffensive race of merry creatures under heaven, +and that their crimes are all hatched for them here in England, +by the incubation of printers’ boys, and are brought to +market at times of distressing dearth in news. From all +that I myself have seen of them, I can only say that the +civilized (I mean the richer and titled) are as susceptible of +heat as iron, and as impenetrable to light as granite. The +half-barbarous are probably worse; the utterly barbarous may be +somewhat better. Like game-cocks, they must spur when they +meet. One fights because he fights an Englishman; another +because the fellow he quarrels with comes from a distant county; +a third because the next parish is an eyesore to him, and his +fist-mate is from it. The only thing in which they all +agree as proper law is the tooth-for-tooth act. Luckily we +have a bishop who is a native, and we called him before the +queen. He represented to her majesty that every thing in +Old Ireland tended to re-produce its kind,—crimes among +others; and he declared, frankly, that if an honest man is +murdered, or what is dearer to an honest man, if his honour is +wounded in the person of his wife, it must be <a +name="page207"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 207</span>expected +that he will retaliate. Her Majesty delivered it as her +opinion that the latter case of vindictiveness was more likely to +take effect than the former. But the bishop replied that in +his conscience he could not answer for either if the man was +up. The dean of the same diocese gave us a more favorable +report. Being a justice of the peace, he averred most +solemnly that no man ever had complained to him of murder, +excepting one who had lost so many fore-teeth by a cudgel that +his deposition could not be taken exactly,—added to which, +his head was a little clouded with drunkenness; furthermore, that +extremely few women had adduced sufficiently clear proofs of +violence, excepting those who were wilful and resisted with tooth +and nail. In all which cases it was difficult, nay +impossible, to ascertain which violence began first and lasted +longest.</p> +<p>“There is not a nation upon earth that pretends to be so +superlatively generous and high-minded; and there is not one (I +speak from experience) so utterly base and venal. I have +positive proof that the nobility, in a mass, are agreed to sell, +for a stipulated sum, all their rights and privileges, so much +per man; and the queen is inclined thereunto. But would our +parliament consent to pay money for a <a name="page208"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 208</span>cargo of rotten pilchards? And +would not our captains be readier to swamp than to import +them? The noisiest rogues in that kingdom, if not quieted +by a halter, may be quieted by making them brief-collectors, and +by allowing them first to encourage the incendiary, then to +denounce and hang him, and lastly to collect all the money they +can, running up and down with the whining ferocity of +half-starved hyenas, under pretence of repairing the damages +their exhausted country hath sustained. Others ask modestly +a few thousands a year, and no more, from those whom they +represent to us as naked and famished; and prove clearly to every +dispassionate man who hath a single drop of free blood in his +veins that at least this pittance is due to them for abandoning +their liberal and lucrative professions, and for endangering +their valuable lives on the tempestuous seas, in order that the +voice of Truth may sound for once upon the shores of England, and +Humanity cast her shadow on the council-chamber.</p> +<p>“I gave a dinner to a party of these fellows a few weeks +ago. I know not how many kings and princes were amongst +them, nor how many poets, and prophets, and legislators, and +sages. When they were half-drunk, they coaxed and +threatened; when they had gone <a name="page209"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 209</span>somewhat deeper, they joked, and +croaked, and hiccoughed, and wept over sweet Ireland; and when +they could neither stand nor sit any longer, they fell upon their +knees and their noddles, and swore that limbs, life, liberty, +Ireland, and God himself, were all at the queen’s +service. It was only their holy religion, the religion of +their forefathers— Here sobs interrupted some, howls +others, execrations more, and the liquor they had ingulfed, the +rest. I looked down on them with stupor and astonishment, +seeing faces, forms, dresses, much like ours, and recollecting +their ignorance, levity, and ferocity. My pages drew them +gently by the heels down the steps; my grooms set them upright +(inasmuch as might be) on their horses; and the people in the +streets, shouting and pelting, sent forward the beasts to their +straw.</p> +<p>“Various plans have been laid before us for civilising +or coercing them. Among the pacific, it was proposed to +make an offer to five-hundred of the richer Jews in the +Hanse-towns and in Poland, who should be raised to the dignity of +the Irish peerage, and endowed with four thousand acres of good +forfeited land, on condition of each paying two thousand pounds, +and of keeping up ten horsemen and twenty foot, Germans or Poles, +in readiness for service.</p> +<p><a name="page210"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +210</span>“The Catholics bear no where such ill-will toward +Jews as toward Protestants. Brooks make even worse +neighbours than oceans do.</p> +<p>“I myself saw no objection to the measure; but our +gracious queen declared she had an insuperable one—<i>they +stank</i>! We all acknowledged the strength of the +argument, and took out our handkerchiefs. Lord Burleigh +almost fainted; and Raleigh wondered how the Emperor Titus could +bring up his men against Jerusalem.</p> +<p>“‘Ah!’ said he, looking reverentially at her +Majesty, ‘the star of Berenice shone above him! and what +evil influence could that star not quell? what malignancy could +it not annihilate?’</p> +<p>“Hereupon he touched the earth with his brow, until the +queen said,—</p> +<p>“‘Sir Walter! lift me up those laurels.’</p> +<p>“At which manifestation of princely goodwill he was +advancing to kiss her Majesty’s hand, but she waved it, and +said, sharply,—</p> +<p>“‘Stand there, dog!’</p> +<p>“Now what tale have you for us?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Interrogate me, my lord, that I may answer each +question distinctly, my mind being <a name="page211"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 211</span>in sad confusion at what I have seen +and undergone.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Give me thy account and opinion of these very affairs +as thou leftest them; for I would rather know one part well than +all imperfectly; and the violences of which I have heard within +the day surpass belief.</p> +<p>“Why weepest thou, my gentle Spenser? Have the +rebels sacked thy house?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“They have plundered and utterly destroyed +it.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“I grieve for thee, and will see thee +righted.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“In this they have little harmed me.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Howl I have heard it reported that thy grounds are +fertile and thy mansion <a name="citation211"></a><a +href="#footnote211" class="citation">[211]</a> large and +pleasant.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><a name="page212"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 212</span><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“If river, and lake, and meadow-ground, and mountain, +could render any place the abode of pleasantness, pleasant was +mine, indeed!</p> +<p>“On the lovely banks of Mulla I found deep +contentment. Under the dark alders did I muse and +meditate. Innocent hopes were my gravest cares, and my +playfullest fancy was with kindly wishes. Ah! surely, of +all cruelties the worst is to extinguish our kindness. Mine +is gone: I love the people and the land no longer. My lord, +ask me not about them; I may speak injuriously.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Think rather, then, of thy happier hours and busier +occupations; these likewise may instruct me.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“The first seeds I sowed in the garden, ere the old +castle was made habitable for my lovely bride, were acorns from +Penshurst. I planted a little oak before my mansion at the +birth of each child. ‘My sons,’ I said to +myself, ‘shall often play in the shade of them when I am +gone, and every year shall they take the measure of their growth, +as fondly as I take theirs.’”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><a name="page213"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 213</span><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Well, well; but let not this thought make thee weep so +bitterly.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Poison may ooze from beautiful plants; deadly grief +from dearest reminiscences.</p> +<p>“I <i>must</i> grieve, I <i>must</i> weep; it seems the +law of God, and the only one that men are not disposed to +contravene. In the performance of this alone do they +effectually aid one another.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Spenser! I wish I had at hand any arguments or +persuasions of force sufficient to remove thy sorrow; but really +I am not in the habit of seeing men grieve at any thing except +the loss of favour at court, or of a hawk, or of a +buck-hound. And were I to swear out my condolences to a man +of thy discernment, in the same round, roll-call phrases we +employ with one another upon these occasions, I should be guilty, +not of insincerity, but of insolence. True grief hath ever +something sacred in it, and when it visiteth a wise man and a +brave one, is most holy.</p> +<p>“Nay, kiss not my hand; he whom God <a +name="page214"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 214</span>smiteth +hath God with him. In his presence what am I?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Never so great, my lord, as at this hour, when you see +aright who is greater. May He guide your counsels, and +preserve your life and glory!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Where are thy friends? Are they with +thee?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Ah, where indeed? Generous, true-hearted Philip! +where art thou? whose presence was unto me peace and safety, +whose smile was contentment, and whose praise renown. My +lord! I cannot but think of him among still heavier losses; he +was my earliest friend, and would have taught me +wisdom.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Pastoral poetry, my dear Spenser, doth not require +tears and lamentations. Dry thine eyes; rebuild thine +house. The queen and council, I venture to promise thee, +will make ample amends for every evil thou hast sustained. +What! does that enforce thee to wail yet louder?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><a name="page215"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 215</span><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Pardon me, bear with me, most noble heart! I have +lost what no council, no queen, no Essex can restore.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“We will see that! There are other swords, and +other arms to wield them, besides a Leicester’s and a +Raleigh’s. Others can crush their enemies and serve +their friends.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“O my sweet child! And of many so powerful, many +so wise and so beneficent, was there none to save thee? +None! none!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“I now perceive that thou lamentest what almost every +father is destined to lament. Happiness must be bought, +although the payment may be delayed. Consider; the same +calamity might have befallen thee here in London. Neither +the houses of ambassadors, nor the palaces of kings, nor the +altars of God himself, are asylums against death. How do I +know but under this very roof there may sleep some latent +calamity, that in an instant shall cover <a +name="page216"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 216</span>with gloom +every inmate of the house, and every far dependent?”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“God avert it!”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Every day, every hour of the year, do hundreds mourn +what thou mournest.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Oh, no, no, no! Calamities there are around us; +calamities there are all over the earth; calamities there are in +all seasons; but none in any season, none in any place, like +mine.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“So say all fathers, so say all husbands. Look at +any old mansion-house, and let the sun shine as gloriously as it +may on the golden vanes, or the arms recently quartered over the +gateway, or the embayed window, and on the happy pair that haply +is toying at it; nevertheless, thou mayest say that of a +certainty the same fabric hath seen much sorrow within its +chambers, and heard many wailings; and each time this was the +heaviest stroke of all. Funerals have passed along through +the stout-hearted <a name="page217"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +217</span>knights upon the wainscot, and amidst the laughing +nymphs upon the arras. Old servants have shaken their +heads, as if somebody had deceived them, when they found that +beauty and nobility could perish.</p> +<p>“Edmund! the things that are too true pass by us as if +they were not true at all; and when they have singled us out, +then only do they strike us. Thou and I must go too. +Perhaps the next year may blow us away with its fallen +leaves.” <a name="citation217"></a><a href="#footnote217" +class="citation">[217]</a></p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“For you, my lord, many years (I trust) are waiting; I +never shall see those fallen leaves. No leaf, no bud will +spring upon the earth before I sink into her breast for +ever.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Essex</span>.</p> +<p>“Thou, who art wiser than most men, shouldst bear with +patience, equanimity, and courage, what is common to +all.”</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span +class="smcap">Spenser</span>.</p> +<p>“Enough! enough! enough! Have all men seen their +infant burnt to ashes before their eyes?”</p> +<h3><a name="page220"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +220</span>MEMORANDUM BY EPHRAIM BARNETT.</h3> +<p style="text-align: center">WRITTEN UPON THE INNER COVER.</p> +<p><span class="smcap">Studying</span> the benefit and advantage +of such as by God’s blessing may come after me, and willing +to shew them the highways of Providence from the narrow by-lane +in the which it hath been his pleasure to station me, and being +now advanced full-nigh unto the close and consummation of my +earthly pilgrimage, methinks I cannot do better, at this +juncture, than preserve the looser and lesser records of those +who have gone before me in the same, with higher heel-piece to +their shoe and more polished scallop to their beaver. And +here, beforehand, let us think gravely and religiously on what +the pagans, in their blindness, did call fortune, making a +goddess of her, and saying,—</p> +<blockquote><p>“One body she lifts up so high<br /> +And suddenly, she makes him cry<br /> +And scream as any wench might do<br /> +That you should play the rogue unto.<br /> +<a name="page221"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 221</span>And the +same Lady Light sees good<br /> +To drop another in the mud,<br /> +Against all hope and likelihood.” <a +name="citation221"></a><a href="#footnote221" +class="citation">[221]</a></p> +</blockquote> +<p>My kinsman, Jacob Eldridge, having been taught by me, among +other useful things, to write a fair and laudable hand, was +recommended and introduced by our worthy townsman, Master Thomas +Greene, unto the Earl of Essex, to keep his accounts, and to +write down sundry matters from his dictation, even letters +occasionally. For although our nobility, very unlike the +French, not only can read and write, but often do, yet some from +generosity, and some from dignity, keep in their employment what +those who are illiterate, and would not appear so, call an +<i>amanuensis</i>, thereby meaning <i>secretary</i> or +<i>scribe</i>. Now it happened that our gracious +queen’s highness was desirous of knowing all that could be +known about the Rebellion in Ireland; and hearing but little +truth from her nobility in that country, even the fathers in God +inclining more unto court favour than will be readily believed of +spiritual lords, and moulding <a name="page222"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 222</span>their ductile depositions on the +pasteboard of their temporal mistress, until she was angry at +seeing the lawn-sleeves so besmirched from wrist to elbow, she +herself did say unto the Earl of Essex,—</p> +<p>“Essex! these fellows lie! I am inclined to +unfrock and scourge them sorely for their leasings. Of that +anon. Find out, if you can, somebody who hath his wit and +his honesty about him at the same time. I know that when +one of these paniers is full the other is apt to be empty, and +that men walk crookedly for want of balance. No +matter—we must search and find. Persuade—thou +canst persuade, Essex!—say any thing, do any thing. +We must talk gold and give—iron. Dost understand +me?”</p> +<p>The earl did kiss the jewels upon the dread fingers, for only +the last joint of each is visible; and surely no mortal was ever +so foolhardy as to take such a monstrous liberty as touching it, +except in spirit! On the next day there did arrive many +fugitives from Ireland; and among the rest was Master Edmund +Spenser, known even in those parts for his rich vein of poetry, +in which he is declared by our best judges to excel the noblest +of the ancients, and to leave all the moderns at his feet. +Whether he notified his <a name="page223"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 223</span>arrival unto the earl, or whether +fame brought the notice thereof unto his lordship, Jacob knoweth +not. But early in the morrow did the earl send for Jacob, +and say unto him,—</p> +<p>“Eldridge! thou must write fairly and clearly out, and +in somewhat large letters, and in lines somewhat wide apart, all +that thou hearest of the conversation I shall hold with a +gentleman from Ireland. Take this gilt and illumined +vellum, and albeit the civet make thee sick fifty times, write +upon it all that passes! Come not out of the closet until +the gentleman hath gone homeward. The queen requireth much +exactness; and this is equally a man of genius, a man of +business, and a man of worth. I expect from him not only +what is true, but what is the most important and necessary to +understand rightly and completely; and nobody in existence is +more capable of giving me both information and advice. +Perhaps if he thought another were within hearing he would be +offended or over-cautious. His delicacy and mine are +warranted safe and sound by the observance of those commands +which I am delivering unto thee.”</p> +<p>It happened that no information was given in this conference +relating to the movements or designs of the rebels. So that +Master Jacob Eldridge was left possessor of the costly vellum, <a +name="page224"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 224</span>which, now +Master Spenser is departed this life, I keep as a memorial of +him, albeit oftener than once I have taken pounce box and +penknife in hand, in order to make it a fit and proper vehicle +for my own very best writing. But I pretermitted it, +finding that my hand is no longer the hand it was, or rather that +the breed of geese is very much degenerated, and that their +quills, like men’s manners, are grown softer and +flaccider. Where it will end God only knows; I shall not +live to see it.</p> +<p>Alas, poor Jacob Eldridge! he little thought that within +twelve months his glorious master, and the scarcely less glorious +poet, would be no more! In the third week of the following +year was Master Edmund buried at the charges of the earl; and +within these few days hath this lofty nobleman bowed his head +under the axe of God’s displeasure,—such being our +gracious queen’s. My kinsman Jacob sent unto me by +the Alcester drover, old Clem Fisher, this, among other papers, +fearing the wrath of that offended highness which allowed not her +own sweet disposition to question or thwart the will +divine. Jacob did likewise tell me in his letter that he +was sure I should be happy to hear the success of William +Shakspeare, our townsman. And in truth right glad was I to +hear of it, being <a name="page225"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +225</span>a principal in bringing it about, as those several +sheets will shew which have the broken tile laid upon them to +keep them down compactly.</p> +<p>Jacob’s words are these:—</p> +<p>“Now I speak of poets, you will be in a maze at hearing +that our townsman hath written a power of matter for the +playhouse. Neither he nor the booksellers think it quite +good enough to print; but I do assure you, on the faith of a +Christian, it is not bad; and there is rare fun in the last thing +of his about Venus, where a Jew, one Shiloh, is choused out of +his money and his revenge. However, the best critics and +the greatest lords find fault, and very justly, in the +words,—</p> +<blockquote><p>“‘Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew +hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? fed with +the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same +diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same +winter and summer, as a Christian is?’</p> +</blockquote> +<p>“Surely, this is very unchristianlike. Nay, for +supposition sake, suppose it to be true, was it his business to +tell the people so? Was it his duty to ring the +crier’s bell and cry to them, <i>The sorry Jews are quite +as much men as you are</i>? The impudentest thing +(excepting some bauderies) that ever came from the stage! +The church, luckily, has let him alone for the <a +name="page226"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 226</span>present; +and the queen winks upon it. The best defence he can make +for himself is that it comes from the mouth of a Jew, who says +many other things as abominable. Master Greene may overrate +him; but Master Greene declares that if William goes on improving +and taking his advice, it will be desperate hard work in another +seven years to find so many as half a dozen chaps equal to him +within the liberties. Master Greene and myself took him +with us to see the burial of Master Edmund Spenser in Westminster +Abbey, on the 19th of January last. The halberdmen pushed +us back as having no business there. Master Greene told +them he belonged to the queen’s company of players. +William Shakspeare could have said the same, but did not. +And I, fearing that Master Greene and he might be halberded back +into the crowd, shewed the badge of the Earl of Essex. +Whereupon did the serjeant ground his halberd, and say unto +me,—</p> +<p>“‘That badge commands admittance everywhere; your +folk likewise may come in.’</p> +<p>“Master Greene was red-hot angry, and told me he would +bring him before the <i>council</i>.</p> +<p>“William smiled, and Master Greene said,—</p> +<p>“‘Why! would not you, if you were in my +place?’</p> +<p><a name="page227"></a><span class="pagenum">p. +227</span>“He replied,—</p> +<p>“‘I am an half inclined to do worse,—to +bring him before the <i>audience</i> some spare hour.’</p> +<p>“At the close of the burial-service all the poets of the +age threw their pens into the grave, together with the pieces +they had composed in praise or lamentation of the deceased. +William Shakspeare was the only poet who abstained from throwing +in either pen or poem,—at which no one marvelled, he being +of low estate, and the others not having yet taken him by the +hand. Yet many authors recognised him, not indeed as +author, but as player; and one, civiller than the rest, came up +unto him triumphantly, his eyes sparkling with glee and +satisfaction, and said, consolatorily,—</p> +<p>“‘In due time, my honest friend, you may be +admitted to do as much for one of us.’</p> +<p>“‘After such encouragement,’ replied our +townsman, ‘I am bound in duty to give you the preference, +should I indeed be worthy.’</p> +<p>“‘This was the only smart thing he uttered all the +remainder of the day; during the whole of it he appeared to be +half-lost, I know not whether in melancholy or in meditation, and +soon left us.”</p> +<p>Here endeth all that my kinsman Jacob wrote <a +name="page228"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 228</span>about +William Shakspeare, saving and excepting his excuse for having +written so much. The rest of his letter was on a matter of +wider and weightier import, namely, on the price of Cotteswolde +cheese at Evesham fair. And yet, although ingenious men be +not among the necessaries of life, there is something in them +that makes us curious in regard to their goings and doings. +It were to be wished that some of them had attempted to be better +accountants; and others do appear to have laid aside the copybook +full early in the day. Nevertheless, they have their uses +and their merits. Master Eldridge’s letter is the +wrapper of much wholesome food for contemplation. Although +the decease (within so brief a period) of such a poet as Master +Spenser, and such a patron as the earl, be unto us appalling, we +laud and magnify the great Disposer of events, no less for his +goodness in raising the humble than for his power in +extinguishing the great. And peradventure ye, my heirs and +descendants, who shall read with due attention what my pen now +writeth, will say, with the royal Psalmist, that it inditeth of a +good matter, when it sheweth unto you that, whereas it pleased +the queen’s highness to send a great lord before the +judgment-seat of Heaven, having fitted him by <a +name="page229"></a><span class="pagenum">p. 229</span>means of +such earthly instruments as princes in like cases do usually +employ, and deeming (no doubt) in her princely heart that by such +shrewd tonsure his head would be best fitted for a crown of +glory, and thus doing all that she did out of the purest and most +considerate love for him,—it likewise hath pleased her +highness to use her right hand as freely as her left, and to +raise up a second burgess of our town to be one of her company of +players. And ye, also, by industry and loyalty, may +cheerfully hope for promotion in your callings, and come up (some +of you) as nearly to him in the presence of royalty, as he cometh +up (far off, indeed, at present) to the great and wonderful poet +who lies dead among more spices than any phœnix, and more +quills than any porcupine. If this thought may not prick +and incitate you, little is to be hoped from any gentle +admonition, or any earnest expostulation, of</p> +<p style="text-align: center">Your loving friend and kinsman,</p> +<p style="text-align: right">E. B.</p> +<p style="text-align: center"><span class="GutSmall">ANNO +ÆT. SUÆ 74, DOM. 1599,</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">DECEMB. 16;</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">GLORIA DP. DF. ET DSS.</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">AMOR VERSUS VIRGINEM REGINAM!</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">PROTESTANTICE LOQUOR ET HONESTO +SENSU:</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">OBTESTOR CONSCIENTIAM MEAM!</span></p> + +<div class="gapspace"> </div> +<p style="text-align: center"><a name="page230"></a><span +class="pagenum">p. 230</span><span class="GutSmall">PRINTED +BY</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET +SQUARE</span><br /> +<span class="GutSmall">LONDON</span></p> +<h2>FOOTNOTES</h2> +<p><a name="footnote8a"></a><a href="#citation8a" +class="footnote">[8a]</a> Quicken, bring to life.</p> +<p><a name="footnote8b"></a><a href="#citation8b" +class="footnote">[8b]</a> Debtors were often let out of +prison at the coronation of a new king; but creditors never paid +by him.</p> +<p><a name="footnote21a"></a><a href="#citation21a" +class="footnote">[21a]</a> The word here omitted is quite +illegible. It appears to have some reference to the +language of the Highlanders. That it was rough and +outlandish is apparent from the reprimand of Sir Thomas.</p> +<p><a name="footnote29a"></a><a href="#citation29a" +class="footnote">[29a]</a> By this deposition it would +appear that Shakspeare had formed the idea, if not the outline, +of several plays already, much as he altered them, no doubt, in +after life.</p> +<p><a name="footnote38a"></a><a href="#citation38a" +class="footnote">[38a]</a> The greater part of the value of +the present work arises from the certain information it affords +us on the price of small needles in the reign of Elizabeth. +Fine needles in her days were made only at Liege, and some few +cities in the Netherlands, and may be reckoned among those things +which were much dearer than they are now.</p> +<p><a name="footnote39b"></a><a href="#citation39b" +class="footnote">[39b]</a> Mr. Tooke had not yet published +his <i>Pantheon</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote44a"></a><a href="#citation44a" +class="footnote">[44a]</a> This was really the case within +our memory.</p> +<p><a name="footnote45a"></a><a href="#citation45a" +class="footnote">[45a]</a> It was formerly thought, and +perhaps is thought still, that the hand of a man recently hanged, +being rubbed on the tumour of the king’s evil, was able to +cure it. The crown and the gallows divided the glory of the +sovereign remedy.</p> +<p><a name="footnote46a"></a><a href="#citation46a" +class="footnote">[46a]</a> And yet he never did sail any +farther than into Bohemia.</p> +<p><a name="footnote50a"></a><a href="#citation50a" +class="footnote">[50a]</a> <i>Smock</i>, formerly a part of +the female dress, corresponding with <i>shroud</i>, or what we +now call (or lately called) <i>shirt</i> of the +man’s. Fox, speaking of Latimer’s burning, +says, “Being slipped into his <i>shroud</i>.”</p> +<p><a name="footnote50b"></a><a href="#citation50b" +class="footnote">[50b]</a> Faith nailing the ears is a +strong and sacred metaphor. The rhyme is +imperfect,—Shakspeare was not always attentive to these +minor beauties.</p> +<p><a name="footnote53a"></a><a href="#citation53a" +class="footnote">[53a]</a> Shakspeare seems to have +profited afterward by this metaphor, even more perhaps than by +all the direct pieces of instruction in poetry given him so +handsomely by the worthy knight. And here it may be +permitted the editor to profit also by the manuscript, correcting +in Shakspeare what is absolute nonsense as now +printed:—</p> +<blockquote><p>“<i>Vaulting</i> ambition that +o’erleaps <i>itself</i>.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>It should be its <i>sell</i>. <i>Sell</i> is +<i>saddle</i> in Spenser and elsewhere, from the Latin and +Italian.</p> +<p>This emendation was shewn to the late Mr. Hazlitt, an acute +man at least, who expressed his conviction that it was the right +reading, and added somewhat more in approbation of it.</p> +<p><a name="footnote55a"></a><a href="#citation55a" +class="footnote">[55a]</a> It has been suggested that this +answer was borrowed from Virgil, and goes strongly against the +genuineness of the manuscript. The Editor’s memory +was upon the stretch to recollect the words; the learned critic +supplied them:—</p> +<blockquote><p>“Solum Æneas vocat: <i>et vocet</i>, +oro.”</p> +</blockquote> +<p>The Editor could only reply, indeed weakly, that +<i>calling</i> and <i>waiting</i> are not exactly the same, +unless when tradesmen rap and gentlemen are leaving town.</p> +<p><a name="footnote66a"></a><a href="#citation66a" +class="footnote">[66a]</a> Here the manuscript is blotted; +but the probability is that it was <i>fishmonger</i>, rather than +<i>ironmonger</i>, fishmongers having always been notorious +cheats and liars.</p> +<p><a name="footnote70a"></a><a href="#citation70a" +class="footnote">[70a]</a> <i>On the nail</i> appears to be +intended to express <i>ready payment</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote72a"></a><a href="#citation72a" +class="footnote">[72a]</a> The Cordilleras are mountains, +we know, running through South America. Perhaps a pun was +intended; or possibly it might, in the age of Elizabeth, have +been a vulgar term for <i>hanging</i>, although we find no trace +of the expression in other books. We have no clue to guide +us here. It might be suggested that Shakspeare, who shines +little in geographical knowledge, fancied the Cordilleras to +extend into North America, had convicts in his time been +transported to those colonies. Certainly, many adventurers +and desperate men went thither.</p> +<p><a name="footnote89a"></a><a href="#citation89a" +class="footnote">[89a]</a> In that age there was prevalent +a sort of cholera, on which Fracastorius, half a century before, +wrote a Latin poem, employing the graceful nymphs of Homer and +Hesiod, somewhat disguised, in the drudgery of pounding certain +barks and minerals. An article in the Impeachment of +Cardinal Wolsey accuses him of breathing in the king’s +face, knowing that he was affected with this cholera. It +was a great assistant to the Reformation, by removing some of the +most vigorous champions that opposed it. In the Holy +College it was followed by the <i>sweating sickness</i>, which +thinned it very sorely; and several even of God’s +vicegerents were laid under tribulation by it. Among the +chambers of the Vatican it hung for ages, and it crowned the +labours of Pope Leo XII., of blessed memory, with a crown +somewhat uneasy.</p> +<p><a name="footnote105a"></a><a href="#citation105a" +class="footnote">[105a]</a> Sir Thomas seems to have been +jealous of these two towers, certainly the finest in +England. If Warwick Castle could borrow the windows from +Kenilworth, it would be complete. The knight is not very +courteous on its hospitality. He may, perhaps, have +experienced it, as Garrick and Quin did under the present +occupant’s grandfather, on whom the title of Earl of +Warwick was conferred for the eminent services he had rendered to +his country as one of the lords of the bedchamber to his Majesty +George the Second. The verses of Garrick on his invitation +and visit are remembered by many. Quin’s are less +known.</p> +<p class="poetry">He shewed us Guy’s pot, but the soup he +forgot;<br /> + Not a meal did his lordship allow,<br /> +Unless we gnaw’d o’er the blade-bone of the boar,<br +/> + Or the rib of the famous <i>Dun Cow</i>.</p> +<p class="poetry">When Nevile the great Earl of Warwick lived +here,<br /> + Three oxen for breakfast were slain,<br /> +And strangers invited to sports and good cheer,<br /> + And invited again and again.</p> +<p class="poetry">This earl is in purse or in spirit so low,<br +/> + That he with no oxen will feed ’em;<br /> +And all of the former great doings we know<br /> + Is, he gives us a book and we read ’em.</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span +class="smcap">Garrick</span>.</p> +<p class="poetry"><i>Stale</i> peers are but tough morsels, and +’t were well<br /> + If we had found the <i>fresh</i> more eatable;<br /> +Garrick! I do not say ’t were well for <i>him</i>,<br +/> + For we had pluck’d the plover limb from +limb.</p> +<p style="text-align: right"><span class="smcap">Quin</span>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote106a"></a><a href="#citation106a" +class="footnote">[106a]</a> Another untoward blot! but +leaving no doubt of the word. The only doubt is whether he +meant the <i>muzzle</i> of the animal itself, or one of those +leathern muzzles which are often employed to coerce the violence +of ferocious animals. In besieged cities men have been +reduced to such extremities. But the <i>muzzle</i>, in this +place, we suspect, would more properly be called the +<i>blinker</i>, which is often put upon bulls in pastures when +they are vicious.</p> +<p><a name="footnote108a"></a><a href="#citation108a" +class="footnote">[108a]</a> This would countenance the +opinion of those who are inclined to believe that Shakspeare was +a Roman Catholic. His hatred and contempt of priests, which +are demonstrated wherever he has introduced them, may have +originated from the unfairness of Silas Gough. Nothing of +that kind, we may believe, had occurred to him from friars and +monks, whom he treats respectfully and kindly, perhaps in return +for some such services to himself as Friar Lawrence had bestowed +on Romeo,—or rather less; for Shakspeare was +grateful. The words quoted by him from some sermon, now +lost, prove him no friend to the filchings and swindling of +popery.</p> +<p><a name="footnote111a"></a><a href="#citation111a" +class="footnote">[111a]</a> It is a pity that the old +divines should have indulged, as they often did, in such images +as this. Some readers in search of argumentative subtility, +some in search of sound Christianity, some in search of pure +English undefiled, have gone through with them; and their labours +(however heavy) have been well repaid.</p> +<p><a name="footnote124a"></a><a href="#citation124a" +class="footnote">[124a]</a> <i>Tilley valley</i> was the +favourite adjuration of James the Second. It appears in the +comedies of Shakspeare.</p> +<p><a name="footnote133a"></a><a href="#citation133a" +class="footnote">[133a]</a> <i>Whoreson</i>, if we may +hazard a conjecture, means the son of a woman of +ill-repute. In this we are borne out by the context. +It appears to have escaped the commentators on Shakspeare.</p> +<p><i>Whoreson</i>, a word of frequent occurrence in the +comedies; more rarely found in the tragedies. Although now +obsolete, the expression proves that there were (or were believed +to be) such persons formerly.</p> +<p>The Editor is indebted to two learned friends for these two +remarks, which appear no less just than ingenious.</p> +<p><a name="footnote153a"></a><a href="#citation153a" +class="footnote">[153a]</a> <i>Belly-ache</i>, a disorder +once not uncommon in England. Even the name is now almost +forgotten; yet the elder of us may remember at least the report +of it, and some, perhaps, even the complaint itself, in our +school-days. It usually broke out about the cherry season; +and in some cases made its appearance again at the first +nutting.</p> +<p><a name="footnote157a"></a><a href="#citation157a" +class="footnote">[157a]</a> Sir Thomas borrowed this +expression from Spenser, who thus calls Queen Elizabeth.</p> +<p><a name="footnote159a"></a><a href="#citation159a" +class="footnote">[159a]</a> Humboldt notices this.</p> +<p><a name="footnote164a"></a><a href="#citation164a" +class="footnote">[164a]</a> <i>Pragmatical</i> here means +only <i>precise</i>.</p> +<p><a name="footnote181a"></a><a href="#citation181a" +class="footnote">[181a]</a> It is doubtful whether Doctor +Buckland will agree with Sir Thomas that these petrifactions are +ram’s-horns and lampreys.</p> +<p><a name="footnote189a"></a><a href="#citation189a" +class="footnote">[189a]</a> She was then twenty-eight years +of age. Sir Thomas must have spoken of her from earlier +recollections. Shakspeare was in his twentieth year.</p> +<p><a name="footnote193a"></a><a href="#citation193a" +class="footnote">[193a]</a> It is to be feared that his +taste for venison outlasted that for matrimony, spite of this +vow.</p> +<p><a name="footnote211"></a><a href="#citation211" +class="footnote">[211]</a> It was purchased by a victualler +and banker, the father or grandfather of Lord Riversdale.</p> +<p><a name="footnote217"></a><a href="#citation217" +class="footnote">[217]</a> It happened so.</p> +<p><a name="footnote221"></a><a href="#citation221" +class="footnote">[221]</a> The editor has been unable to +discover who was the author of this very free translation of an +Ode in Horace. He is certainly happy in his amplification +of the <i>stridore acuto</i>. May it not be surmised that +he was some favourite scholar of Ephraim Barnett?</p> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF WILLIAM +SHAKSPEARE***</p> +<pre> + + +***** This file should be named 5112-h.htm or 5112-h.zip****** + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/1/1/5112 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will +be renamed. + +Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright +law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, +so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United +States without permission and without paying copyright +royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part +of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm +concept and trademark. 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SHAKSPEARE *** + + + + +Transcribed from the 1891 Chatto & Windus edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk + + + + +CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE +EUSEBY TREEN JOSEPH CARNABY AND SILAS GOUGH CLERK +BEFORE THE WORSHIPFUL +SIR THOMAS LUCY KNIGHT +TOUCHING DEER-STEELING +On the Nineteenth Day of September in the Year of Grace 1582 +NOW FIRST PUBLISHED FROM ORIGINAL PAPERS + + + + +EDITOR'S PREFACE. + + + +"It was an ancestor of my husband who BROUGHT OUT the famous +Shakspeare." + +These words were really spoken, and were repeated in conversation as +most ridiculous. Certainly such was very far from the lady's +intention; and who knows to what extent they are true? + + +The frolic of Shakspeare in deer-stealing was the cause of his +Hegira; and his connection with players in London was the cause of +his writing plays. Had he remained in his native town, his ambition +had never been excited by the applause of the intellectual, the +popular, and the powerful, which, after all, was hardly sufficient +to excite it. He wrote from the same motive as he acted,--to earn +his daily bread. He felt his own powers; but he cared little for +making them felt by others more than served his wants. + +The malignant may doubt, or pretend to doubt, the authenticity of +the Examination here published. Let us, who are not malignant, be +cautious of adding anything to the noisome mass of incredulity that +surrounds us; let us avoid the crying sin of our age, in which the +"Memoirs of a Parish Clerk," edited as they were by a pious and +learned dignitary of the Established Church, are questioned in +regard to their genuineness; and even the privileges of Parliament +are inadequate to cover from the foulest imputation--the imputation +of having exercised his inventive faculties--the elegant and +accomplished editor of Eugene Aram's apprehension, trial, and +defence. + +Indeed, there is little of real history, excepting in romances. +Some of these are strictly true to nature; while histories in +general give a distorted view of her, and rarely a faithful record +either of momentous or of common events. + +Examinations taken from the mouth are surely the most trustworthy. +Whoever doubts it may be convinced by Ephraim Barnett. + +The Editor is confident he can give no offence to any person who may +happen to bear the name of Lucy. The family of Sir Thomas became +extinct nearly half a century ago, and the estates descended to the +Rev. Mr. John Hammond, of Jesus College, in Oxford, a respectable +Welsh curate, between whom and him there existed at his birth +eighteen prior claimants. He took the name of Lucy. + +The reader will form to himself, from this "Examination of +Shakspeare," more favourable opinion of Sir Thomas than is left upon +his mind by the dramatist in the character of Justice Shallow. The +knight, indeed, is here exhibited in all his pride of birth and +station, in all his pride of theologian and poet; he is led by the +nose, while he believes that nobody can move him, and shows some +other weaknesses, which the least attentive observer will discover; +but he is not without a little kindness at the bottom of the heart,- +-a heart too contracted to hold much, or to let what it holds +ebulliate very freely. But, upon the whole, we neither can utterly +hate nor utterly despise him. Ungainly as he is. - + + +Circum praecordia ludit. + + +The author of the "Imaginary Conversations" seems, in his "Boccacio +and Petrarca," to have taken his idea of Sir Magnus from this +manuscript. He, however, has adapted that character to the times; +and in Sir Magnus the coward rises to the courageous, the unskilful +in arms becomes the skilful, and war is to him a teacher of +humanity. With much superstition, theology never molests him; +scholarship and poetry are no affairs of his. He doubts of himself +and others, and is as suspicious in his ignorance as Sir Thomas is +confident. + +With these wide diversities, there are family features, such as are +likely to display themselves in different times and circumstances, +and some so generically prevalent as never to lie quite dormant in +the breed. In both of them there is parsimony, there is arrogance, +there is contempt of inferiors, there is abject awe of power, there +is irresolution, there is imbecility. But Sir Magnus has no +knowledge, and no respect for it. Sir Thomas would almost go thirty +miles, even to Oxford, to see a fine specimen of it, although, like +most of those who call themselves the godly, he entertains the most +undoubting belief that he is competent to correct the errors of the +wisest and most practised theologian. + + + +EDITOR'S APOLOGY. + + + +A part only of the many deficiencies which the reader will discover +in this book is attributable to the Editor. These, however, it is +his duty to account for, and he will do it as briefly as he can. + +The fac-similes (as printers' boys call them, meaning specimens) of +the handwriting of nearly all the persons introduced, might perhaps +have been procured had sufficient time been allowed for another +journey into Warwickshire. That of Shakspeare is known already in +the signature to his will, but deformed by sickness; that of Sir +Thomas Lucy is extant at the bottom of a commitment of a female +vagrant, for having a sucking child in her arms on the public road; +that of Silas Gough is affixed to the register of births and +marriages, during several years, in the parishes of Hampton Lucy and +Charlecote, and certifies one death,--Euseby Treen's; surmised, at +least, to be his by the letters "E. T." cut on a bench seven inches +thick, under an old pollard-oak outside the park paling of +Charlecote, toward the northeast. For this discovery the Editor is +indebted to a most respectable, intelligent farmer in the adjoining +parish of Wasperton, in which parish Treen's elder brother lies +buried. The worthy farmer is unwilling to accept the large portion +of fame justly due to him for the services he has thus rendered to +literature in elucidating the history of Shakspeare and his times. +In possession of another agricultural gentleman there was recently a +very curious piece of iron, believed by many celebrated antiquaries +to have constituted a part of a knight's breast-plate. It was +purchased for two hundred pounds by the trustees of the British +Museum, among whom, the reader will be grieved to hear, it produced +dissension and coldness; several of them being of opinion that it +was merely a gorget, while others were inclined to the belief that +it was the forepart of a horse-shoe. The Committee of Taste and the +Heads of the Archaeological Society were consulted. These learned, +dispassionate, and benevolent men had the satisfaction of +conciliating the parties at variance,--each having yielded somewhat +and every member signing, and affixing his seal to the signature, +that, if indeed it be the forepart of a horse-shoe, it was probably +Ismael's,--there being a curved indentation along it, resembling the +first letter of his name, and there being no certainty or record +that he died in France, or was left in that country by Sir Magnus. + +The Editor is unable to render adequate thanks to the Rev. Stephen +Turnover for the gratification he received in his curious library by +a sight of Joseph Carnaby's name at full length, in red ink, coming +from a trumpet in the mouth of an angel. This invaluable document +is upon an engraving in a frontispiece to the New Testament. But +since unhappily he could procure no signature of Hannah Hathaway, +nor of her mother, and only a questionable one of Mr. John +Shakspeare, the poet's father,--there being two, in two very +different hands,--both he and the publisher were of opinion that the +graphical part of the volume would be justly censured as extremely +incomplete, and that what we could give would only raise +inextinguishable regret for that which we could not. On this +reflection all have been omitted. + +The Editor is unwilling to affix any mark of disapprobation on the +very clever engraver who undertook the sorrel mare; but as in the +memorable words of that ingenious gentleman from Ireland whose +polished and elaborate epigrams raised him justly to the rank of +prime minister, - + + +"White was not SO VERY white," - + + +in like manner it appeared to nearly all the artists he consulted +that the sorrel mare was not SO SORREL in print. + +There is another and a graver reason why the Editor was induced to +reject the contribution of his friend the engraver; and this is, a +neglect of the late improvements in his art, he having, unadvisedly +or thoughtlessly, drawn in the old-fashioned manner lines at the two +sides and at the top and bottom of his print, confining it to such +limits as paintings are confined in by their frames. Our spirited +engravers, it is well-known, disdain this thraldom, and not only +give unbounded space to their scenery, but also melt their figures +in the air,--so advantageously, that, for the most part, they +approach the condition of cherubs. This is the true aerial +perspective, so little understood heretofore. Trees, castles, +rivers, volcanoes, oceans, float together in absolute vacancy; the +solid earth is represented, what we know it actually is, buoyant as +a bubble, so that no wonder if every horse is endued with all the +privileges of Pegasus, save and except our sorrel. Malicious +carpers, insensible or invidious of England's glory, deny her in +this beautiful practice the merit of invention, assigning it to the +Chinese in their tea-cups and saucers; but if not absolutely new and +ours, it must be acknowledged that we have greatly improved and +extended the invention. + +Such are the reasons why the little volume here laid before the +public is defective in those decorations which the exalted state of +literature demands. Something of compensation is supplied by a +Memorandum of Ephraim Barnett, written upon the inner cover, and +printed below. + +The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little practised in the +ways of literature; much less is he gifted with that prophetic +spirit which can anticipate the judgment of the public. It may be +that he is too idle or too apathetic to think anxiously or much +about the matter; and yet he has been amused, in his earlier days, +at watching the first appearance of such few books as he believed to +be the production of some powerful intellect. He has seen people +slowly rise up to them, like carp in a pond when food is thrown into +it; some of which carp snatch suddenly at a morsel, and swallow it; +others touch it gently with their barb, pass deliberately by, and +leave it; others wriggle and rub against it more disdainfully; +others, in sober truth, know not what to make of it, swim round and +round it, eye it on the sunny side, eye it on the shady, approach +it, question it, shoulder it, flap it with the tail, turn it over, +look askance at it, take a pea-shell or a worm instead of it, and +plunge again their heads into the comfortable mud. After some +seasons the same food will suit their stomachs better. + + + +EXAMINATION, ETC., ETC. + + + +About one hour before noontide the youth WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, accused +of deer-stealing, and apprehended for that offence, was brought into +the great hall at Charlecote, where, having made his obeisance, it +was most graciously permitted him to stand. + +The worshipful Sir Thomas Lucy, Knight, seeing him right opposite, +on the farther side of the long table, and fearing no disadvantage, +did frown upon him with great dignity; then, deigning ne'er a word +to the culprit, turned he his face toward his chaplain, Sir Silas +Gough, who stood beside him, and said unto him most courteously, and +unlike unto one who in his own right commandeth, - + +"Stand out of the way! What are those two varlets bringing into the +room?" + +"The table, sir," replied Master Silas, "upon the which the +consumption of the venison was perpetrated." + +The youth, William Shakspeare, did thereupon pray and beseech his +lordship most fervently, in this guise:- + +"Oh, sir! do not let him turn the tables against me, who am only a +simple stripling, and he an old codger." + +But Master Silas did bite his nether lip, and did cry aloud, - + +"Look upon those deadly spots!" + +And his worship did look thereupon most staidly, and did say in the +ear of Master Silas, but in such wise that it reached even unto +mine, + +"Good honest chandlery, methinks!" + +"God grant it may turn out so!" ejaculated Master Silas. + +The youth, hearing these words, said unto him, - + +"I fear, Master Silas, gentry like you often pray God to grant what +HE would rather not; and now and then what YOU would rather not." + +Sir Silas was wroth at this rudeness of speech about God in the face +of a preacher, and said, reprovingly, - + +"Out upon thy foul mouth, knave! upon which lie slaughter and +venison." + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare sit mute awhile, and discomfited; +then turning toward Sir Thomas, and looking and speaking as one +submiss and contrite, he thus appealed unto him:- + +"Worshipful sir! were there any signs of venison on my mouth, Master +Silas could not for his life cry out upon it, nor help kissing it as +'twere a wench's." + +Sir Thomas looked upon him with most lordly gravity and wisdom, and +said unto him, in a voice that might have come from the bench: + +"Youth, thou speakest irreverently;" and then unto Master Silas: +"Silas! to the business on hand. Taste the fat upon yon boor's +table, which the constable hath brought hither, good Master Silas! +And declare upon oath, being sworn in my presence, first, whether +said fat do proceed of venison; secondly, whether said venison be of +buck or doe." + +Whereupon the reverend Sir Silas did go incontinently, and did bend +forward his head, shoulders, and body, and did severally taste four +white solid substances upon an oaken board; said board being about +two yards long, and one yard four inches wide,--found in, and +brought thither from, the tenement or messuage of Andrew Haggit, who +hath absconded. Of these four white solid substances, two were +somewhat larger than a groat, and thicker; one about the size of +King Henry the Eighth's shilling, when our late sovereign lord of +blessed memory was toward the lustiest; and the other, that is to +say the middlemost, did resemble in some sort, a mushroom, not over +fresh, turned upward on its stalk. + +"And what sayest thou, Master Silas?" quoth the knight. + +In reply whereunto Sir Silas thus averred:- + + +"Venison! o' my conscience! +Buck! or burn me alive! + + +The three splashes in the circumference are verily and indeed +venison; buck, moreover,--and Charlecote buck, upon my oath!" + +Then carefully tasting the protuberance in the centre, he spat it +out, crying, - + +"Pho! pho! villain! villain!" and shaking his fist at the culprit. + +Whereat the said culprit smiled and winked, and said off-hand, - + +"Save thy spittle, Silas! It would supply a gaudy mess to the +hungriest litter; but it would turn them from whelps into wolvets. +'T is pity to throw the best of thee away. Nothing comes out of thy +mouth that is not savoury and solid, bating thy wit, thy sermons, +and thy promises." + +It was my duty to write down the very words, irreverent as they are, +being so commanded. More of the like, it is to be feared, would +have ensued, but that Sir Thomas did check him, saying, shrewdly, - + +"Young man! I perceive that if I do not stop thee in thy courses, +thy name, being involved in thy company's, may one day or other +reach across the county; and folks may handle it and turn it about, +as it deserveth, from Coleshill to Nuneaton, from Bromwicham to +Brownsover. And who knoweth but that, years after thy death, the +very house wherein thou wert born may be pointed at, and commented +on, by knots of people, gentle and simple! What a shame for an +honest man's son! Thanks to me, who consider of measures to prevent +it! Posterity shall laud and glorify me for plucking thee clean out +of her head, and for picking up timely a ticklish skittle, that +might overthrow with it a power of others just as light. I will rid +the hundred of thee, with God's blessing!--nay, the whole shire. We +will have none such in our county; we justices are agreed upon it, +and we will keep our word now and forevermore. Woe betide any that +resembles thee in any part of him!" + +Whereunto Sir Silas added, - + +"We will dog him, and worry him, and haunt him, and bedevil him; and +if ever he hear a comfortable word, it shall be in a language very +different from his own." + +"As different as thine is from a Christian's," said the youth. + +"Boy! thou art slow of apprehension," said Sir Thomas, with much +gravity; and taking up the cue, did rejoin, - + +"Master Silas would impress upon thy ductile and tender mind the +danger of evil doing; that we, in other words that justice is +resolved to follow him up, even beyond his country, where he shall +hear nothing better than the Italian or the Spanish, or the black +language, or the language of Turk or Troubadour, or Tartar or +Mongol. And, forsooth, for this gentle and indirect reproof, a +gentleman in priest's orders is told by a stripling that he lacketh +Christianity! Who then shall give it?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Who, indeed? when the founder of the feast leaveth an invited guest +so empty! Yea, sir, the guest was invited, and the board was +spread. The fruits that lay upon it be there still, and fresh as +ever; and the bread of life in those capacious canisters is +unconsumed and unbroken," + +SIR SILAS (aside). + +"The knave maketh me hungry with his mischievous similitudes." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou hast aggravated thy offence, Wil Shakspeare! Irreverent +caitiff! is this a discourse for my chaplain and clerk? Can he or +the worthy scribe Ephraim (his worship was pleased to call me +worthy) write down such words as those, about litter and wolvets, +for the perusal and meditation of the grand jury? If the whole +corporation of Stratford had not unanimously given it against thee, +still his tongue would catch thee, as the evet catcheth a gnat. +Know, sirrah, the reverend Sir Silas, albeit ill appointed for +riding, and not over-fond of it, goeth to every house wherein is a +venison feast for thirty miles round. Not a buck's hoof on any +stable-door but it awakeneth his recollections like a red letter." + +This wholesome reproof did bring the youth back again to his right +senses; and then said he, with contrition, and with a wisdom beyond +his years, and little to be expected from one who had spoken just +before so unadvisedly and rashly, - + +"Well do I know it, your worship! And verily do I believe that a +bone of one being shovelled among the soil upon his coffin would +forthwith quicken {8a} him. Sooth to say, there is ne'er a +buckhound in the county but he treateth him as a godchild, patting +him on the head, soothing his velvety ear between thumb and +forefinger, ejecting tick from tenement, calling him 'fine fellow,' +'noble lad,' and giving him his blessing, as one dearer to him than +a king's debt to a debtor, {8b} or a bastard to a dad of eighty. +This is the only kindness I ever heard of Master Silas toward his +fellow-creatures. Never hold me unjust, Sir Knight, to Master +Silas. Could I learn other good of him, I would freely say it; for +we do good by speaking it, and none is easier. Even bad men are not +bad men while they praise the just. Their first step backward is +more troublesome and wrenching to them than the first forward." + +"In God's name, where did he gather all this?" whispered his worship +to the chaplain, by whose side I was sitting. "Why, he talks like a +man of forty-seven, or more!" + +"I doubt his sincerity, sir!" replied the chaplain. "His words are +fairer now--" + +"Devil choke him for them!" interjected he, with an undervoice. + +"--and almost book-worthy; but out of place. What the scurvy cur +yelped against me, I forgive him as a Christian. Murrain upon such +varlet vermin! It is but of late years that dignities have come to +be reviled. The other parts of the Gospel were broken long before,- +-this was left us; and now this likewise is to be kicked out of +doors, amid the mutterings of such mooncalves as him yonder." + +"Too true, Silas!" said the knight, sighing deeply. "Things are not +as they were in our glorious wars of York and Lancaster. The knaves +were thinned then,--two or three crops a year of that rank squitch- +grass which it has become the fashion of late to call the people. +There was some difference then between buff doublets and iron mail, +and the rogues felt it. Well-a-day! we must bear what God willeth, +and never repine, although it gives a man the heart-ache. We are +bound in duty to keep these things for the closet, and to tell God +of them only when we call upon his holy name, and have him quite by +ourselves." + +Sir Silas looked discontented and impatient, and said, snappishly, - + +"Cast we off here, or we shall be at fault. Start him, sir!-- +prithee, start him." + +Again his worship, Sir Thomas, did look gravely and grandly, and +taking a scrap of paper out of the Holy Book then lying before him, +did read distinctly these words:- + +"Providence hath sent Master Silas back hither, this morning, to +confound thee in thy guilt." + +Again, with all the courage and composure of an innocent man, and +indeed with more than what an innocent man ought to possess in the +presence of a magistrate, the youngster said, pointing toward Master +Silas, - + +"The first moment he ventureth to lift up his visage from the table, +hath Providence marked him miraculously. I have heard of black +malice. How many of our words have more in them than we think of! +Give a countryman a plough of silver, and he will plough with it all +the season, and never know its substance. 'T is thus with our daily +speech. What riches lie hidden in the vulgar tongue of the poorest +and most ignorant! What flowers of Paradise lie under our feet, +with their beauties and parts undistinguished and undiscerned, from +having been daily trodden on! O, sir, look you!--but let me cover +my eyes! Look at his lips! Gracious Heaven! they were not thus +when he entered. They are blacker now than Harry Tewe's bull- +bitch's!" + +Master Silas did lift up his eyes in astonishment and wrath; and his +worship, Sir Thomas, did open his wider and wider, and cried by fits +and starts:- + +"Gramercy! true enough! nay, afore God, too true by half! I never +saw the like! Who would believe it? I wish I were fairly rid of +this examination,--my hands washed clean thereof! Another time,-- +anon! We have our quarterly sessions; we are many together. At +present I remand--" + +And now, indeed, unless Sir Silas had taken his worship by the +sleeve, he would may-hap have remanded the lad. But Sir Silas, +still holding the sleeve and shaking it, said, hurriedly, - + +"Let me entreat your worship to ponder. What black does the fellow +talk of? My blood and bile rose up against the rogue; but surely I +did not turn black in the face, or in the mouth, as the fellow calls +it?" + +Whether Master Silas had some suspicion and inkling of the cause or +not, he rubbed his right hand along his face and lips, and, looking +upon it, cried aloud, - + +"Ho, ho! is it off? There is some upon my finger's end, I find. +Now I have it,--ay, there it is. That large splash upon the centre +of the table is tallow, by my salvation! The profligates sat up +until the candle burned out, and the last of it ran through the +socket upon the board. We knew it before. I did convey into my +mouth both fat and smut!" + +"Many of your cloth and kidney do that, good Master Silas, and make +no wry faces about it," quoth the youngster, with indiscreet +merriment, although short of laughter, as became him who had already +stepped too far and reached the mire. + +To save paper and time, I shall now, for the most part, write only +what they all said, not saying that they said it, and just copying +out in my clearest hand what fell respectively from their mouths. + +SIR SILAS. + +"I did indeed spit it forth, and emunge my lips, as who should not?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Would it were so!" + +SIR SILAS. + +"WOULD IT WERE SO! in thy teeth, hypocrite!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And, truly, I likewise do incline to hope and credit it, as thus +paraphrased and expounded." + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Wait until this blessed day next year, sir, at the same hour. You +shall see it forth again at its due season; it would be no miracle +if it lasted. Spittle may cure sore eyes, but not blasted mouths +and scald consciences." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Why! who taught thee all this?" + +Then turned he leisurely toward Sir Silas, and placing his hand +outspreaden upon the arm of the chaplain, said unto him in a low, +judicial, hollow voice, - + +"Every word true and solemn! I have heard less wise saws from +between black covers." + +Sir Silas was indignant at this under-rating, as he appeared to +think it, of the church and its ministry, and answered impatiently, +with Christian freedom, - + +"Your worship surely will not listen to this wild wizard in his +brothel-pulpit!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Do I live to hear Charlecote Hall called a brothel-pulpit? Alas, +then, I have lived too long!" + +SIR SILAS. + +"We will try to amend that for thee." + +William seemed not to hear him, loudly as he spake and pointedly +unto the youngster, who wiped his eyes, crying, - + +"Commit me, sir! in mercy commit me! Master Ephraim! Oh, Master +Ephraim! A guiltless man may feel all the pangs of the guilty! Is +it you who are to make out the commitment? Dispatch! dispatch. I +am a-weary of my life. If I dared to lie, I would plead guilty." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Heyday! No wonder, Master Ephraim, thy entrails are moved and +wamble. Dost weep, lad? Nay, nay; thou bearest up bravely. Silas, +I now find, although the example come before me from humble life, +that what my mother said was true--'t was upon my father's demise-- +'In great grief there are few tears.'" + +Upon which did the youth, Willy Shakspeare, jog himself by the +memory, and repeat these short verses, not wide from the same +purport: + + +"There are, alas, some depths of woe +Too vast for tears to overflow." + + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Let those who are sadly vexed in spirit mind that notion, whoever +indited it, and be men. I always was; but some little griefs have +pinched me woundily." + +Master Silas grew impatient, for he had ridden hard that morning, +and had no cushion upon his seat, as Sir Thomas had. I have seen in +my time that he who is seated on beech-wood hath very different +thoughts and moralities from him who is seated on goose-feathers +under doe-skin. But that is neither here nor there, albeit, an' I +die, as I must, my heirs, Judith and her boy Elijah, may note it. + +Master Silas, as above, looked sourishly, and cried aloud, - + +"The witnesses! the witnesses! testimony! testimony! We shall now +see whose black goes deepest. There is a fork to be had that can +hold the slipperiest eel, and a finger that can strip the slimiest. +I cry your worship to the witnesses." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay, indeed, we are losing the day; it wastes toward noon, and +nothing done. Call the witnesses. How are they called by name? +Give me the paper." + +The paper being forthwith delivered into his worship's hand by the +learned clerk, his worship did read aloud the name of Euseby Treen. +Whereupon did Euseby Treen come forth through the great hall-door +which was ajar, and answer most audibly, - + +"Your worship!" + +Straightway did Sir Thomas read aloud, in like form and manner, the +name of Joseph Carnaby; and in like manner as aforesaid did Joseph +Carnaby make answer and say, - + +"Your worship!" + +Lastly did Sir Thomas turn the light of his countenance on William +Shakspeare, saying, - + +"Thou seest these good men deponents against thee, William +Shakspeare." And then did Sir Thomas pause. And pending this pause +did William Shakspeare look steadfastly in the faces of both; and +stroking down his own with the hollow of his hand from the jaw-bone +to the chin-point, said unto his honour, - + +"Faith! it would give me much pleasure, and the neighbourhood much +vantage, to see these two fellows good men. Joseph Carnaby and +Euseby Treen! Why! your worship! they know every hare's form in +Luddington-field better than their own beds, and as well pretty nigh +as any wench's in the parish." + +Then turned he with jocular scoff unto Joseph Carnaby, thus +accosting him, whom his shirt, being made stiffer than usual for the +occasion, rubbed and frayed, - + +"Ay, Joseph! smoothen and soothe thy collar-piece again and again! +Hark ye! I know what smock that was knavishly cut from." + +Master Silas rose up in high choler, and said unto Sir Thomas, - + +"Sir! do not listen to that lewd reviler; I wager ten groats I prove +him to be wrong in his scent. Joseph Carnaby is righteous and +discreet." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"By daylight and before the parson. Bears and boars are tame +creatures, and discreet, in the sunshine and after dinner." + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"I do know his down-goings and uprisings." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The man and his wife are one, saith holy Scripture." + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. Few keep Lent like +unto him." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I warrant him, both lent and stolen." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou depose on +particulars." + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"May it please your worship! I was returning from Hampton upon +Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and eleven at night, in +company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we came to the bottom of +Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in discourse. I plucked Euseby +Treen by the doublet, and whispered in his ear, 'Euseby! Euseby! let +us slink along in the shadow of the elms and willows.'" + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"WILLOWS AND ELM-TREES were the words." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot agree in their +own story." + +SIR SILAS. + +"The same thing, the same thing, in the main." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"By less differences than this estates have been lost, hearts +broken, and England, our country, filled with homeless, helpless, +destitute orphans. I protest against it." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member of the House of +Lords. They alone can protest." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Your attorney may OBJECT, not PROTEST, before the lord judge. + +"Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby." + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, then--" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own story, man, and do not +borrow his." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more futile and +frivolous." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do me justice +by hearing me attentively. I am young; nevertheless, having more +than one year written in the office of an attorney, and having heard +and listened to many discourses and questions on law, I cannot but +remember the heavy fine inflicted on a gentleman of this county who +committed a poor man to prison for being in possession of a hare, it +being proved that the hare was in his possession, and not he in the +hare's." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Synonymous term! synonymous term!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"In what term sayest thou was it? I do not remember the case." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! Jesuitical!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the law by its +perversions to the side of oppression and cruelty. The order of +Jesuits, I fear, is as numerous as its tenets are lax and +comprehensive. I am sorry to see their frocks flounced with English +serge." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I don't understand thee, viper!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy place. And do thou, Joseph +Carnaby, take up again the thread of thy testimony." + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"We were still at some distance from the party, when on a sudden +Euseby hung an --- " {21a} + +SIR THOMAS. + +"As well write DREW BACK, Master Ephraim and Master Silas! Be +circumspecter in speech, Master Joseph Carnaby! I did not look for +such rude phrases from that starch-warehouse under thy chin. +Continue, man!" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"'Euseby,' said I in his ear, 'what ails thee, Euseby?' 'I wag no +farther,' quoth he. 'What a number of names and voices!'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Dreadful gang! a number of names and voices! Had it been any other +day in the year but Allhallowmas eve! To steal a buck upon such a +day! Well! God may pardon even that. Go on, go on. But the laws +of our country must have their satisfaction and atonement. Were it +upon any other day in the calendar less holy, the buck were nothing, +or next to nothing, saving the law and our conscience and our good +report. Yet we, her Majesty's justices, must stand in the gap, body +and soul, against evil-doers. Now do thou, in furtherance of this +business, give thine aid unto us, Joseph Carnaby!--remembering that +mine eye from this judgment-seat, and her Majesty's bright and +glorious one overlooking the whole realm, and the broader of God +above, are upon thee." + +Carnaby did quail a matter at these words about the judgment-seat +and the broad eye, aptly and gravely delivered by him moreover who +hath to administer truth and righteousness in our ancient and +venerable laws, and especially, at the present juncture, in those +against park-breaking and deer-stealing. But finally, nought +discomfited, and putting his hand valiantly atwixt hip and midriff, +so that his elbow well-nigh touched the taller pen in the ink-pot, +he went on. + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"'IN THE SHADOW OF THE WILLOWS AND ELM-TREES,' said he, 'AND GET +NEARER.' We were still at some distance, maybe a score of furlongs, +from the party--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou hast said it already--all save the score of furlongs." + +"Hast room for them, Master Silas?" + +"Yea," quoth Master Silas, "and would make room for fifty, to let +the fellow swing at his ease." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Hast room, Master Ephraim?" + +"'T is done, most worshipful!" said I. The learned knight did not +recollect that I could put fifty furlongs in a needle's eye, give me +pen fine enough. + +But far be it from me to vaunt of my penmanship, although there be +those who do malign it, even in my own township and parish; yet they +never have unperched me from my calling, and have had hard work to +take an idle wench or two from under me on Saturday nights. + +I memorize thus much, not out of any malice or any soreness about +me, but that those of my kindred into whose hands it please God +these papers do fall hereafter, may bear up stoutly in such straits; +and if they be good at the cudgel, that they, looking first at their +man, do give it him heartily and unsparingly, keeping within law. + +Sir Thomas, having overlooked what we had written, and meditated a +while thereupon, said unto Joseph, - + +"It appeareth by thy testimony that there was a huge and desperate +gang of them afoot. Revengeful dogs! it is difficult to deal with +them. The laws forbid precipitancy and violence. A dozen or two +may return and harm me; not me, indeed, but my tenants and servants. +I would fain act with prudence, and like unto him who looketh +abroad. He must tie his shoe tightly who passeth through mire; he +must step softly who steppeth over stones; he must walk in the fear +of the Lord (which, without a brag, I do at this present feel upon +me), who hopeth to reach the end of the straightest road in safety." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Tut, tut! your worship! Her Majesty's deputy hath matchlocks and +halters at a knight's disposal, or the world were topsyturvy +indeed." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"My mental ejaculations, and an influx of grace thereupon, have +shaken and washed from my brain all thy last words, good Joseph! +Thy companion here, Euseby Treen, said unto thee--ay--" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Said unto me, 'What a number of names and voices! And there be but +three living men in all! And look again! Christ deliver us! all +the shadows save one go leftward; that one lieth right upon the +river. It seemeth a big, squat monster, shaking a little, as one +ready to spring upon its prey!'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"A dead man in his last agonies, no doubt! Your deer-stealer doth +boggle at nothing. He hath alway the knife in doublet and the devil +at elbow. + +"I wot not of any keeper killed or missing. To lose one's deer and +keeper too were overmuch. + +"Do, in God's merciful name, hand unto me a glass of sack, Master +Silas! I wax faintish at the big, squat man. He hath harmed not +only me, but mine. Furthermore, the examination is grown so long." + +Then was the wine delivered by Sir Silas into the hand of his +worship, who drank it off in a beaker of about half a pint,--but +little to his satisfaction, for he said shortly afterward, - + +"Hast thou poured no water into the sack, good Master Silas? It +seemeth weaker and washier than ordinary, and affordeth small +comfort unto the breast and stomach." + +"Not I, truly, sir," replied Master Silas "and the bottle is a fresh +and sound one. The cork reported on drawing, as the best diver doth +on sousing from Warwick bridge into Avon. A rare cork! as bright as +the glass bottle, and as smooth as the lips of any cow." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"My mouth is out of taste this morning; or the same wine, mayhap, +hath a different force and flavor in the dining-room and among +friends. But to business--what more?" + +"Euseby Treen, what may it be?" said I. + +"I know," quoth he, "but dare not breathe it." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I thought I had taken a glass of wine, verily. Attention to my +duty as a magistrate is paramount. I mind nothing else when that +lies before me. + +"Carnaby! I credit thy honesty, but doubt thy manhood. Why not +breathe it, with a vengeance?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"It was Euseby who dared not." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Stand still! Say nothing yet; mind my orders. Fair and softly! +compose thyself." + +They all stood silent for some time, and looked very composed, +awaiting the commands of the knight. His mind was clearly in such a +state of devotion that peradventure he might not have descended for +a while longer to his mundane duties, had not Master Silas told him +that, under the shadow of his wing, their courage had returned and +they were quite composed again. + +"You may proceed," said the knight. + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Master Treen did take off his cap and wipe his forehead. I, for +the sake of comforting him in this his heaviness, placed my hand +upon his crown; and truly I might have taken it for a tuft of bents, +the hair on end, the skin immovable as God's earth!" + +Sir Thomas, hearing these words, lifted up his hands above his own +head, and in the loudest voice he had yet uttered did he cry, - + +"Wonderful are thy ways in Israel, O Lord!" + +So saying, the pious knight did strike his knee with the palm of his +right hand; and then gave he a sign, bowing his head and closing his +eyes, by which Master Carnaby did think he signified his pleasure +that he should go on deposing. And he went on thus:- + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"At this moment one of the accomplices cried, 'Willy! Willy! +prithee stop! enough in all conscience! First thou divertedst us +from our undertaking with thy strange vagaries, thy Italian girls' +nursery sigh, thy Pucks and pinchings, and thy Windsor whimsies. No +kitten upon a bed of marum ever played such antics. It was summer +and winter, night and day with us within the hour; and in such +religion did we think and feel it, we would have broken the man's +jaw who gainsaid it. We have slept with thee under the oaks in the +ancient forest of Arden, and we have wakened from our sleep in the +tempest far at sea. {29a} Now art thou for frightening us again out +of all the senses thou hadst given us, with witches and women more +murderous than they.' + +"Then followed a deeper voice: 'Stouter men and more resolute are +few; but thou, my lad, hast words too weighty for flesh and bones to +bear up against. And who knows but these creatures may pop amongst +us at last, as the wolf did, sure enough, upon him, the noisy rogue, +who so long had been crying WOLF! and WOLF! + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Well spoken, for two thieves; albeit I miss the meaning of the most +part. Did they prevail with the scapegrace and stop him?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"The last who had spoken did slap him on the shoulder, saying, 'Jump +into the punt, lad, and across.' Thereupon did Will Shakspeare jump +into said punt, and begin to sing a song about a mermaid." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir! is this credible? I will be sworn I never saw one; and verily +do believe that scarcely one in a hundred years doth venture so far +up the Avon." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"There is something in this. Thou mayest have sung about one, +nevertheless. Young poets take great liberties with all female +kind; not that mermaids are such very unlawful game for them, and +there be songs even about worse and staler fish. Mind ye that! +Thou hast written songs, and hast sung them, and lewd enough they +be, God wot!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Pardon me, your worship! they were not mine then. Peradventure the +song about the mermaid may have been that ancient one which every +boy in most parishes has been singing for many years, and, perhaps, +his father before him; and somebody was singing it then, mayhap, to +keep up his courage in the night." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I never heard it." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Nobody would dare to sing in the presence of your worship, unless +commanded,--not even the mermaid herself." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Canst thou sing it? + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Verily, I can sing nothing." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Canst thou repeat it from memory?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"It is so long since I have thought about it, that I may fail in the +attempt." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Try, however." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"'The mermaid sat upon the rocks + All day long, +Admiring her beauty and combing her locks, + And singing a mermaid song.'" + +SIR THOMAS + +"What was it? what was it? I thought as much. There thou standest, +like a woodpecker, chattering and chattering, breaking the bark with +thy beak, and leaving the grub where it was. This is enough to put +a saint out of patience." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The wishes of your worship possess a mysterious influence,--I now +remember all. + +"'And hear the mermaid's song you may, + As sure as sure can be, +If you will but follow the sun all day, + And souse with him into the sea.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"It must be an idle fellow who would take that trouble; besides, +unless he nicked the time he might miss the monster. There be many +who are slow to believe that the mermaid singeth." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Ah sir! not only the mermaid singeth, but the merman sweareth, as +another old song will convince you." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I would fain be convinced of God's wonders in the great deeps, and +would lean upon the weakest reed like unto thee to manifest his +glory. Thou mayest convince me." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +1. + +"'A wonderful story, my lasses and lads, +Peradventure you've heard from your grannams or dads, +Of a merman that came every night to woo +The spinster of spinsters, our Catherine Crewe. + +2. + + "'But Catherine Crewe + Is now seventy-two, + And avers she hath half forgotten +The truth of the tale, when you ask her about it, +And says, as if fain to deny it or flout it, + "POOH! THE MERMAN IS DEAD AND ROTTEN." + +3. + +"'The merman came up as the mermen are wont, +To the top of the water, and then swam upon 't; +And Catherine saw him with both her two eyes, +A lusty young merman full six feet in size. + +4. + + "'And Catherine was frighten'd, + Her scalp-skin it tighten'd, +And her head it swam strangely, although on dry land; + And the merman made bold + Eftsoons to lay hold +(THIS Catherine well recollects) of her hand. + +5. + +"'But how could a merman, if ever so good, +Or if ever so clever, be well understood +By a simple young creature of our flesh and blood? + +6. + + "'Some tell us the merman + Can only speak German, + In a voice between grunting and snoring; +But Catherine says he had learned in the wars +The language, persuasions, and oaths of our tars, + And that even his voice was not foreign. + +7. + +"'Yet when she was asked how he managed to hide +The green fishy tail, coming out of the tide + For night after night above twenty, +"You troublesome creatures!" old Catherine replied, + "IN HIS POCKET; won't that now content ye?"'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I have my doubts yet. I should have said unto her, seriously, +'Kate! Kate! I am not convinced.' There may be witchcraft or +sortilege in it. I would have made it a star-chamber matter." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"It was one, sir." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And now I am reminded by this silly, childish song,--which, after +all, is not the true mermaid's,--thou didst tell me, Silas, that the +papers found in the lad's pocket were intended for poetry." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I wish he had missed his aim, sir, in your park, as he hath missed +it in his poetry. The papers are not worth reading; they do not go +against him in the point at issue." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"We must see that,--they being taken upon his person when +apprehended." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Let Ephraim read them, then; it behooveth not me, a Master of Arts, +to con a whelp's whining." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Do thou read them aloud unto us, good Master Ephraim." + +Whereupon I took the papers which young Willy had not bestowed much +pains on; and they posed and puzzled me grievously, for they were +blotted and scrawled in many places, as if somebody had put him out. +These likewise I thought fit, after long consideration, to write +better, and preserve, great as the loss of time is when men of +business take in hand such unseemly matters. However, they are +decenter than most, and not without their moral; for example:- + + +"TO THE OWLET. + +"Who, O thou sapient, saintly bird! +Thy shouted warnings ever heard + Unbleached by fear? +The blue-faced blubbering imp, who steals +Yon turnips, thinks thee at his heels, + Afar or near. + +"The brawnier churl, who brags at times +To front and top the rankest crimes, - + To paunch a deer, +Quarter a priest, or squeeze a wench, - +Scuds from thee, clammy as a tench, + He knows not where. + +"For this the righteous Lord of all +Consigns to thee the castle-wall, + When, many a year, +Closed in the chancel-vaults, are eyes +Rainy or sunny at the sighs + Of knight or peer." + + +Sir Thomas, when I had ended, said unto me, + +"No harm herein; but are they over?" + +I replied, "Yea, sir!" + +"I miss the POSY," quoth he; "there is usually a lump of sugar, or a +smack thereof at the bottom of the glass. They who are +inexperienced in poetry do write it as boys do their copies in the +copy-book, without a flourish at the finis. It is only the master +who can do this befittingly." + +I bowed unto his worship reverentially, thinking of a surety he +meant me, and returned my best thanks in set language. But his +worship rebuffed them, and told me graciously that he had an eye on +another of very different quality; that the plain sense of his +discourse might do for me, the subtler was certainly for himself. +He added that in his younger days he had heard from a person of +great parts, and had since profited by it, that ordinary poets are +like adders,--the tail blunt and the body rough, and the whole +reptile cold-blooded and sluggish: "whereas we," he subjoined, +"leap and caracole and curvet, and are as warm as velvet, and as +sleek as satin, and as perfumed as a Naples fan, in every part of +us; and the end of our poems is as pointed as a perch's back-fin, +and it requires as much nicety to pick it up as a needle{38a} at +nine groats the hundred." + +Then turning toward the culprit, he said mildly unto him, - + +"Now why canst thou not apply thyself unto study? Why canst thou +not ask advice of thy superiors in rank and wisdom? In a few years, +under good discipline, thou mightest rise from the owlet unto the +peacock. I know not what pleasant things might not come into the +youthful head thereupon. + +"He was the bird of Venus, {39b} goddess of beauty. He flew down (I +speak as a poet, and not in my quality of knight and Christian) with +half the stars of heaven upon his tail; and his long, blue neck doth +verily appear a dainty slice out of the solid sky." + +Sir Silas smote me with his elbow, and said in my ear, - + +"He wanteth not this stuffing; he beats a pheasant out of the +kitchen, to my mind, take him only at the pheasant's size, and don't +(upon your life) overdo him. + +"Never be cast down in spirit, nor take it too 'grievously to heart, +if the colour be a suspicion of the pinkish,--no sign of rawness in +that; none whatever. It is as becoming to him as to the salmon; it +is as natural to your pea-chick in his best cookery, as it is to the +finest October morning,--moist underfoot, when partridge's and +puss's and renard's scent lies sweetly." + +Willie Shakspeare, in the mean time, lifted up his hands above his +ears half a cubit, and taking breath again, said, audibly, although +he willed it to be said unto himself alone, - + +"O that knights could deign to be our teachers! Methinks I should +briefly spring up into heaven, through the very chink out of which +the peacock took his neck." + +Master Silas, who like myself and the worshipful knight, did +overhear him, said angrily, - + +"To spring up into heaven, my lad, it would be as well to have at +least one foot upon the ground to make the spring withal. I doubt +whether we shall leave thee this vantage." + +"Nay, nay! thou art hard upon him, Silas," said the knight. + +I was turning over the other papers taken from the pocket of the +culprit on his apprehension, and had fixed my eyes on one, when Sir +Thomas caught them thus occupied, and exclaimed, - + +" Mercy upon us! have we more?" + +"Your patience, worshipful sir!" said I; "must I forward?" + +"Yea, yea," quoth he, resignedly, "we must go through; we are +pilgrims in this life." + +Then did I read, in a clear voice, the contents of paper the second, +being as followeth:- + + +"THE MAID'S LAMENT. + +"I loved him not; and yet, now he is gone, + I feel I am alone. +I check'd him while he spoke; yet, could he speak, + Alas! I would not check. +For reasons not to love him once I sought, + And wearied all my thought +To vex myself and him: I now would give + My love could he but live +Who lately lived for me, and when he found + 'T was vain, in holy ground +He hid his face amid the shades of death! + I waste for him my breath +Who wasted his for me! but mine returns, + And this loin bosom burns +With stifling heat, heaving it up in sleep, + And waking me to weep +Tears that had melted his soft heart. For years + Wept he as bitter tears! +MERCIFUL GOD! such was his latest prayer, + THESE MAY SHE NEVER SHARE! +Quieter is his breath, his breast more cold, + Than daisies in the mould, +Where children spell, athwart the churchyard gate, + His name and life's brief date. +Pray for him, gentle souls, whoe'er you be, + And, oh! pray too for me!" + + +Sir Thomas had fallen into a most comfortable and refreshing slumber +ere this lecture was concluded; but the pause broke it, as there be +many who experience after the evening service in our parish-church. +Howbeit, he had presently all his wits about him, and remembered +well that he had been carefully counting the syllables, about the +time when I had pierced as far as into the middle. + +"Young man," said he to Willy, "thou givest short measure in every +other sack of the load. Thy uppermost stake is of right length; the +undermost falleth off, methinks. + +"Master Ephraim, canst thou count syllables? I mean no offence. I +may have counted wrongfully myself, not being born nor educated for +an accountant." + +At such order I did count; and truly the suspicion was as just as if +he had neither been a knight nor a sleeper. + +"Sad stuff! sad stuff, indeed!" said Master Silas, "and smelling of +popery and wax-candles." + +"Ay?" said Sir Thomas, "I must sift that." + +"If praying for the dead is not popery," said Master Silas, "I know +not what the devil is. Let them pray for us; they may know whether +it will do us any good. We need not pray for them; we cannot tell +whether it will do them any. I call this sound divinity." + +"Are our churchmen all agreed thereupon?" asked Sir Thomas. + +"The wisest are," replied Master Silas. + +"There are some lank rascals who will never agree upon anything but +upon doubting. I would not give ninepence for the best gown upon +the most thrifty of 'em; and their fingers are as stiff and hard +with their pedlary, knavish writing, as any bishop's are with chalk- +stones won honestly from the gout." + +Sir Thomas took the paper up from the table on which I had laid it, +and said after a while, - + +"The man may only have swooned. I scorn to play the critic, or to +ask any one the meaning of a word; but, sirrah!" + +Here he turned in his chair from the side of Master Silas, and said +unto Willy, - + +"William Shakspeare! out of this thraldom in regard to popery, I +hope, by God's blessing, to deliver thee. If ever thou repeatest +the said verses, knowing the man to be to all intents and purposes a +dead man, prythee read the censurable line as thus corrected, - + + +'Pray for our Virgin Queen, gentles! whoe'er you be.' + + +although it is not quite the thing that another should impinge so +closely on her skirts. + +"By this improvement, of me suggested, thou mayest make some amends- +-a syllable or two--for the many that are weighed in the balance and +are found wanting." + +Then turning unto me, as being conversant by my profession in such +matters, and the same being not very worthy of learned and staid +clerks the like of Master Silas, he said, - + +"Of all the youths that did ever write in verse, this one verily is +he who hath the fewest flowers and devices. But it would be loss of +time to form a border, in the fashion of a kingly crown, or a +dragon, or a Turk on horseback, out of buttercups and dandelions. + +"Master Ephraim! look at these badgers! with a long leg on one +quarter and a short leg on the other. The wench herself might well +and truly have said all that matter without the poet, bating the +rhymes and metre. Among the girls in the country there are many +such SHILLY-SHALLYS, who give themselves sore eyes and sharp eye- +water; I would cure them rod in hand." + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare say, with great humility, - + +"So would I, may it please your worship, an they would let me." + +"Incorrigible sluts! Out upon 'em! and thou art no better than they +are," quoth the knight. + +Master Silas cried aloud, "No better, marry! they at the worst are +but carted and whipped for the edification of the market-folks. +{44a} Not a squire or parson in the country round but comes in his +best to see a man hanged." + +"The edification then is higher by a deal," said William, very +composedly. + +"Troth! is it," replied Master Silas. "The most poisonous reptile +has the richest jewel in his head; thou shalt share the richest gift +bestowed upon royalty, and shalt cure the king's evil." {45a} + +"It is more tractable, then, than the church's," quoth William; and, +turning his face toward the chair, he made an obeisance to Sir +Thomas, saying, - + +"Sir! the more submissive my behaviour is, the more vehement and +boisterous is Master Silas. My gentlest words serve only to carry +him toward the contrary quarter, as the south wind bloweth a ship +northward." + +"Youth," said Sir Thomas, smiling most benignly, "I find, and well +indeed might I have surmised, thy utter ignorance of winds, +equinoxes, and tides. Consider now a little! With what propriety +can a wind be called a south wind if it bloweth a vessel to the +north? Would it be a south wind that blew it from this hall into +Warwick market-place?" + +"It would be a strong one," said Master Silas unto me, pointing his +remark, as witty men are wont, with the elbow-pan. + +But Sir Thomas, who waited for an answer, and received none, +continued, - + +"Would a man be called a good man who tended and pushed on toward +evil?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I stand corrected. I could sail to Cathay or Tartary {46a} with +half the nautical knowledge I have acquired in this glorious hall. + +"The devil impelling a mortal to wrong courses, is thereby known to +be the devil. He, on the contrary, who exciteth to good is no +devil, but an angel of light, or under the guidance of one. The +devil driveth unto his own home; so doth the south wind, so doth the +north wind. + +"Alas! alas! we possess not the mastery over our own weak minds when +a higher spirit standeth nigh and draweth us within his influence." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Those thy words are well enough,--very well, very good, wise, +discreet, judicious beyond thy years. But then that SAILING comes +in an awkward, ugly way across me,--that CATHAY, that TARTARUS! + +"Have a care! Do thou nothing rashly. Mind! an thou stealest my +punt for the purpose, I send the constable after thee or e'er thou +art half way over." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He would make a stock-fish of me an he caught me. It is hard +sailing out of his straits, although they be carefully laid down in +most parishes, and may have taken them from actual survey." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Sir, we have bestowed on him already well-nigh a good hour of our +time." + +Sir Thomas, who was always fond of giving admonition and reproof to +the ignorant and erring, and who had found the seeds (little +mustard-seeds, 't is true, and never likely to arise into the great +mustard-tree of the Gospel) in the poor lad Willy, did let his heart +soften a whit tenderer and kindlier than Master Silas did, and said +unto Master Silas, - + +"A good hour of our time! Yea, Silas! and thou wouldst give HIM +eternity!" + +"What, sir! would you let him go?" said Master Silas. "Presently we +shall have neither deer nor dog, neither hare nor coney, neither +swan nor heron; every carp from pool, every bream from brook, will +be groped for. The marble monuments in the church will no longer +protect the leaden coffins; and if there be any ring of gold on the +finger of knight or dame, it will be torn away with as little ruth +and ceremony as the ring from a butchered sow's snout." + +"Awful words! Master Silas," quoth the knight, musing; "but thou +mistakest my intentions. I let him not go; howbeit, at worst I +would only mark him in the ear, and turn him up again after this +warning, peradventure with a few stripes to boot athwart the +shoulders, in order to make them shrug a little, and shake off the +burden of idleness." + +Now I, having seen, I dare not say the innocence, but the innocent +and simple manner of Willy, and pitying his tender years, and having +an inkling that he was a lad, poor Willy! whom God had endowed with +some parts, and into whose breast he had instilled that milk of +loving-kindness by which alone we can be like unto those little +children of whom is the household and kingdom of our Lord,--I was +moved, yea, even unto tears. And now, to bring gentler thoughts +into the hearts of Master Silas and Sir Thomas, who, in his wisdom, +deemed it a light punishment to slit an ear or two, or inflict a +wiry scourging, I did remind his worship that another paper was yet +unread, at least to them, although I had been perusing it. + +This was much pleasanter than the two former, and overflowing with +the praises of the worthy knight and his gracious lady; and having +an echo to it in another voice, I did hope thereby to disarm their +just wrath and indignation. It was thus couched:- + + +"FIRST SHEPHERD. + +"Jesu! what lofty elms are here! +Let me look through them at the clear, +Deep sky above, and bless my star +That such a worthy knight's they are! + +"SECOND SHEPHERD. + +"Innocent creatures! how those deer +Trot merrily, and romp and rear! + +"FIRST SHEPHERD. + +"The glorious knight who walks beside +His most majestic lady bride, + +"SECOND SHEPHERD. + +"Under these branches spreading wide, + +"FIRST SHEPHERD. + +"Carries about so many cares +Touching his ancestors and heirs, +That came from Athens and from Rome - + +"SECOND SHEPHERD. + +"As many of them as are come - + +"FIRST SHEPHERD. + +"Nought else the smallest lodge can find +In the vast manors of his mind; +Envying not Solomon his wit - + +"SECOND SHEPHERD. + +"No, nor his women not a bit; +Being well-built and well-behaved +As Solomon, I trow, or David. + +"FIRST SHEPHERD. + +"And taking by his jewell'd hand +The jewel of that lady bland, +He sees the tossing antlers pass +And throw quaint shadows o'er the grass; +While she alike the hour beguiles, +And looks at him and them, and smiles. + +"SECOND SHEPHERD. + +"With conscience proof 'gainst Satan's shock, +Albeit finer than her smock, {50a} +Marry! her smiles are not of vanity, +But resting on sound Christianity. +Faith, you would swear, had nail'd {50b} her ears on +The book and cushion of the parson." + + +"Methinks the rhyme at the latter end might be bettered," said Sir +Thomas. "The remainder is indited not unaptly. But, young man, +never having obtained the permission of my honourable dame to praise +her in guise of poetry, I cannot see all the merit I would fain +discern in the verses. She ought first to have been sounded; and it +being certified that she disapproved not her glorification, then +might it be trumpeted forth into the world below." + +"Most worshipful knight," replied the youngster, "I never could take +it in hand to sound a dame of quality,--they are all of them too +deep and too practised for me, and have better and abler men about +'em. And surely I did imagine to myself that if it were asked of +any honourable man (omitting to speak of ladies) whether he would +give permission to be openly praised, he would reject the +application as a gross offence. It appeareth to me that even to +praise one's self, although it be shameful, is less shameful than to +throw a burning coal into the incense-box that another doth hold to +waft before us, and then to snift and simper over it, with maidenly, +wishful coyness, as if forsooth one had no hand in setting it +asmoke." + +Then did Sir Thomas, in his zeal to instruct the ignorant, and so +make the lowly hold up their heads, say unto him, - + +"Nay, but all the great do thus. Thou must not praise them without +leave and license. Praise unpermitted is plebeian praise. It is +presumption to suppose that thou knowest enough of the noble and the +great to discover their high qualities. They alone could manifest +them unto thee. It requireth much discernment and much time to +enucleate and bring into light their abstruse wisdom and gravely +featured virtues. Those of ordinary men lie before thee in thy +daily walks; thou mayest know them by converse at their tables, as +thou knowest the little tame squirrel that chippeth his nuts in the +open sunshine of a bowling-green. But beware how thou enterest the +awful arbours of the great, who conceal their magnanimity in the +depths of their hearts, as lions do." + +He then paused; and observing the youth in deep and earnest +meditation over the fruits of his experience, as one who tasted and +who would fain digest them; he gave him encouragement, and relieved +the weight of his musings by kind interrogation. + +"So, then, these verses are thine own?" The youth answered, - + +"Sir, I must confess my fault." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And who was the shepherd written here Second Shepherd, that had the +ill manners to interrupt thee? Methinks, in helping thee to mount +the saddle, he pretty nigh tossed thee over, {53a} with his jerks +and quirks." + +Without waiting for any answer, his worship continued his +interrogations. + +"But do you woolstaplers call yourselves by the style and title of +shepherds?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Verily, sir, do we; and I trust by right. The last owner of any +place is called the master more properly than the dead and gone who +once held it. If that be true (and who doubts it?) we, who have the +last of the sheep, namely, the wool and skin, and who buy all of all +the flock, surely may more properly be called shepherds than those +idle vagrants who tend them only for a season, selling a score or +purchasing a score, as may happen." + +Here Sir Thomas did pause a while, and then said unto Master Silas, +- + +"My own cogitations, and not this stripling, have induced me to +consider and to conclude a weighty matter for knightly scholarship. +I never could rightly understand before how Colin Clout, and sundry +others calling themselves shepherds, should argue like doctors in +law, physic, and divinity. + +"Silas! they were woolstaplers; and they must have exercised their +wits in dealing with tithe-proctors and parsons, and moreover with +fellows of colleges from our two learned universities, who have +sundry lands held under them, as thou knowest, and take the small +tithes in kind. Colin Clout, methinks, from his extensive learning, +might have acquired enough interest with the Queen's Highness to +change his name for the better, and, furthermore, her royal license +to carry armorial bearings, in no peril of taint from so unsavoury +an appellation." + +Master Silas did interrupt this discourse, by saying, - + +"May it please your worship, the constable is waiting." + +Whereat Sir Thomas said, tartly, - + +"And let him wait." {55a} + +Then to me, - + +"I hope we have done with verses, and are not to be befooled by the +lad's nonsense touching mermaids or worse creatures." + +Then to Will, - + +"William Shakspeare! we live in a Christian land, a land of great +toleration and forbearance. Three score cartsful of fagots a year +are fully sufficient to clear our English air from every pestilence +of heresy and witchcraft. It hath not alway been so, God wot! +Innocent and guilty took their turns before the fire, like geese and +capons. The spit was never cold; the cook's sleeve was ever above +the elbow. Countrymen came down from distant villages into towns +and cities, to see perverters whom they had never heard of, and to +learn the righteousness of hatred. When heretics waxed fewer the +religious began to grumble that God, in losing his enemies, had also +lost his avengers. + +"Do not thou, William Shakspeare, dig the hole for thy own stake. +If thou canst not make men wise, do not make them merry at thy cost. +We are not to be paganised any more. Having struck from our +calendars, and unnailed from our chapels, many dozens of decent +saints, with as little compunction and remorse as unlucky lads throw +frog-spawn and tadpoles out of stagnant ditches, never let us think +of bringing back among us the daintier divinities they ousted. All +these are the devil's imps, beautiful as they appear in what we +falsely call works of genius, which really and truly are the devil's +own,--statues more graceful than humanity, pictures more living than +life, eloquence that raised single cities above empires, poor men +above kings. If these are not Satan's works, where are they? I +will tell thee where they are likewise. In holding vain converse +with false gods. The utmost we can allow in propriety is to call a +knight Phoebus, and a dame Diana. They are not meat for every +trencher. + +"We must now proceed straightforward with the business on which thou +comest before us. What further sayest thou, witness?" + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"His face was toward me; I saw it clearly. The graver man followed +him into the punt, and said, roughly, 'We shall get hanged as sure +as thou pipest.' + +"Whereunto he answered, - + + +'Naturally, as fall upon the ground +The leaves in winter and the girls in spring.' + + +And then began he again with the mermaid; whereat the graver man +clapped a hand before his mouth, and swore he should take her in +wedlock, to have and to hold, if he sang another stave. 'And thou +shalt be her pretty little bridemaid,' quoth he gaily to the graver +man, chucking him under the chin." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And what did Carnaby say unto thee, or what didst thou say unto +Carnaby?" + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"Carnaby said unto me, somewhat tauntingly, 'The big squat man, that +lay upon thy bread-basket like a nightmare, is a punt at last, it +seems.' + +"'Punt, and more too,' answered I. 'Tarry awhile, and thou shalt +see this punt (so let me call it) lead them into temptation, and +swamp them or carry them to the gallows; I would not stay else.' + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And what didst thou, Joseph Carnaby?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Finding him neither slack nor shy, I readily tarried. We knelt +down opposite each other, and said our prayers; and he told me he +was now comfortable. 'The evil one,' said he, 'hath enough to mind +yonder: he shall not hurt us.' + +"Never was a sweeter night, had there been but some mild ale under +it, which any one would have sworn it was made for. The milky way +looked like a long drift of hail-stones on a sunny ridge." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Hast thou done describing?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Yea, an please your worship." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"God's blessing be upon thee, honest Carnaby! I feared a moon-fall. +In our days nobody can think about a plum-pudding but the moon comes +down upon it. I warrant ye this lad here hath as many moons in his +poems as the Saracens had in their banners." + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"I have not hatched mine yet, sir. Whenever I do I trust it will be +worth taking to market." + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"I said all I know of the stars; but Master Euseby can run over half +a score and upward, here and there. 'Am I right, or wrong?' cried +he, spreading on the back of my hand all his fingers, stiff as +antlers and cold as icicles. 'Look up, Joseph! Joseph! there is no +Lucifer in the firmament!' I myself did feel queerish and qualmy +upon hearing that a star was missing, being no master of gainsaying +it; and I abased my eyes, and entreated of Euseby to do in like +manner. And in this posture did we both of us remain; and the +missing star did not disquiet me; and all the others seemed as if +they knew us and would not tell of us; and there was peace and +pleasantness over sky and earth. And I said to my companion, - + +"'How quiet now, good Master Euseby, are all God's creatures in this +meadow, because they never pry into such high matters, but breathe +sweetly among the pig-nuts. The only things we hear or see stirring +are the glow-worms and dormice, as though they were sent for our +edification, teaching us to rest contented with our own little +light, and to come out and seek our sustenance where none molest or +thwart us'" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Ye would have it thus, no doubt, when your pockets and pouches are +full of gins and nooses." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"A bridle upon thy dragon's tongue! And do thou, Master Joseph, +quit the dormice and glow-worms, and tell us whither did the rogues +go." + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"I wot not after they had crossed the river they were soon out of +sight and hearing." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Went they toward Charlecote?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Their first steps were thitherward." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Did they come back unto the punt?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"They went down the stream in it, and crossed the Avon some +fourscore yards below where we were standing. They came back in it, +and moored it to the sedges in which it had stood before." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"How long were they absent?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Within an hour, or thereabout, all the three men returned. Will +Shakspeare and another were sitting in the middle, the third punted. + +"'Remember now, gentles!' quoth William Shakspeare, 'the road we +have taken is henceforward a footpath for ever, according to law.' + +"'How so?' asked the punter, turning toward him, + +"'Forasmuch as a corpse hath passed along it,' answered he. + +"Whereupon both Euseby and myself did forthwith fall upon our faces, +commending our souls unto the Lord." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"It was then really the dead body that quivered so fearfully upon +the water, covering all the punt! Christ, deliver us! I hope the +keeper they murdered was not Jeremiah. His wife and four children +would be very chargeable, and the man was by no means amiss. +Proceed! what further?" + +"On reaching the bank, 'I never sat pleasanter in my lifetime,' said +William Shakspeare, 'than upon this carcass.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Lord have mercy upon us! Thou upon a carcass, at thy years!" + +And the knight drew back his chair half an ell farther from the +table, and his lips quivered at the thought of such inhumanity. + +"And what said he more? and what did he?" asked the knight. + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"He patted it smartly, and said, 'Lug it out; break it.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"These four poor children! who shall feed them?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"Sir! in God's name have you forgotten that Jeremiah is gone to +Nuneaton to see his father, and that the murdered man is the buck?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"They killed the buck likewise. But what, ye cowardly varlets! have +ye been deceiving me all this time? And thou, youngster! couldst +thou say nothing to clear up the case? Thou shalt smart for it. +Methought I had lost by a violent death the best servant ever man +had--righteous, if there be no blame in saying it, as the prophet +whose name he beareth, and brave as the lion of Judah." + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Sir, if these men could deceive your worship for a moment, they +might deceive me for ever. I could not guess what their story aimed +at, except my ruin. I am inclined to lean for once toward the +opinion of Master Silas, and to believe it was really the stolen +buck on which this William (if indeed there is any truth at all in +the story) was sitting." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What more hast thou for me that is not enigma or parable?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"I did not see the carcass, man's or beast's, may it please your +worship, and I have recited and can recite that only which I saw and +heard. After the words of lugging out and breaking it, knives were +drawn accordingly. It was no time to loiter or linger. We crope +back under the shadow of the alders and hazels on the high bank that +bordereth Mickle Meadow, and, making straight for the public road, +hastened homeward." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Hearing this deposition, dost thou affirm the like upon thy oath, +Master Euseby Treen, or dost thou vary in aught essential?" + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"Upon my oath I do depose and affirm the like, and truly the +identical same; and I will never more vary upon aught essential." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I do now further demand of thee whether thou knowest anything more +appertaining unto this business." + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"Ay, verily; that your worship may never hold me for timorsome and +superstitious, I do furthermore add that some other than deer- +stealers was abroad. In sign whereof, although it was the dryest +and clearest night of the season, my jerkin was damp inside and +outside when I reached my house-door." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I warrant thee, Euseby, the damp began not at the outside. A word +in thy ear--Lucifer was thy tapster, I trow." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Irreverent swine! hast no awe nor shame. Thou hast aggravated thy +offence, William Shakspeare, by thy foul-mouthedness." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I must remind your worship that he not only has committed this +iniquity afore, but hath pawed the puddle he made, and relapsed into +it after due caution and reproof. God forbid that what he spake +against me, out of the gall of his proud stomach, should move me. I +defy him, a low, ignorant wretch, a rogue and vagabond, a thief and +cut-throat, a -- {66a} monger and mutton-eater." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Your worship doth hear the learned clerk's testimony in my behalf. +'Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings'--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas, the youth has failings--a madcap; but he is pious." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Alas, no, sir! Would I were! But Sir Silas, like the prophet, +came to curse, and was forced to bless me, even me, a sinner, a +mutton-eater!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou urgedst him. He beareth no ill-will toward thee. Thou +knewedst, I suspect, that the blackness in his mouth proceeded from +a natural cause." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The Lord is merciful! I was brought hither in jeopardy; I shall +return in joy. Whether my innocence be declared or otherwise, my +piety and knowledge will be forwarded and increased; for your +worship will condescend, even from the judgment-seat, to enlighten +the ignorant where a soul shall be saved or lost. And I, even I, +may trespass a moment on your courtesy. I quail at the words +NATURAL CAUSE. Be there any such?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Youth! I never thought thee so staid. Thou hast, for these many +months, been represented unto me as one dissolute and light, much +given unto mummeries and mysteries, wakes and carousals, cudgel- +fighters and mountebanks and wanton women. They do also represent +of thee--I hope it may be without foundation--that thou enactest the +parts, not simply of foresters and fairies, girls in the green- +sickness and friars, lawyers and outlaws, but likewise, having small +reverence for station, of kings and queens, knights and privy- +counsellors, in all their glory. It hath been whispered, moreover, +and the testimony of these two witnesses doth appear in some measure +to countenance and confirm it, that thou hast at divers times this +last summer been seen and heard alone, inasmuch as human eye may +discover, on the narrow slip of greensward between the Avon and the +chancel, distorting thy body like one possessed, and uttering +strange language, like unto incantation. This, however, cometh not +before me. Take heed! take heed unto thy ways; there are graver +things in law even than homicide and deer-stealing." + +SIR SILAS. + +"And strong against him. Folks have been consumed at the stake for +pettier felonies and upon weaker evidence." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"To that anon." + +William Shakspeare did hold down his head, answering nought. And +Sir Thomas spake again unto him, as one mild and fatherly, if so be +that such a word may be spoken of a knight and parliament-man. And +these are the words he spake:- + +"Reason and ruminate with thyself now. To pass over and pretermit +the danger of representing the actions of the others, and mainly of +lawyers and churchmen, the former of whom do pardon no offences, and +the latter those only against God, having no warrant for more, canst +thou believe it innocent to counterfeit kings and queens? Supposest +thou that if the impression of their faces on a farthing be +felonious and rope-worthy, the imitation of head and body, voice and +bearing, plume and strut, crown and mantle, and everything else that +maketh them royal and glorious, be aught less? Perpend, young man, +perpend! Consider, who among inferior mortals shall imitate them +becomingly? Dreamest thou they talk and act like checkmen at +Banbury fair? How can thy shallow brain suffice for their vast +conceptions? How darest thou say, as they do: 'Hang this fellow; +quarter that; flay; mutilate; stab; shoot; press; hook; torture; +burn alive'? These are royalties. Who appointed thee to such +office? The Holy Ghost? He alone can confer it; but when wert thou +anointed?" + +William was so zealous in storing up these verities that he looked +as though he were unconscious that the pouring-out was over. He +started, which he had not done before, at the voice of Master Silas; +but soon recovered his complacency, and smiled with much serenity at +being called low-minded varlet. + +"Low-minded varlet!" cried Master Silas, most contemptuously, "dost +thou imagine that king calleth king, like thy chums, FILCHER and +FIBBER, WHIRLIGIG and NINCOMPOOP? Instead of this low vulgarity and +sordid idleness, ending in nothing, they throw at one another such +fellows as thee by the thousand, and when they have cleared the +land, render God thanks and make peace." + +Willy did now sigh out his ignorance of these matters; and he +sighed, mayhap, too, at the recollection of the peril he had run +into, and had ne'er a word on the nail. {70a} + +The bowels of Sir Thomas waxed tenderer and tenderer; and he opened +his lips in this fashion:- + +"Stripling! I would now communicate unto thee, on finding thee +docile and assentaneous, the instruction thou needest on the +signification of the words NATURAL CAUSE, if thy duty toward thy +neighbour had been first instilled into thee." + +Whereupon Master Silas did interpose, for the dinner hour was +drawing nigh. + +"We cannot do all at once," quoth he. "Coming out of order, it +might harm him. Malt before hops, the world over, or the beer +muddies." + +But Sir Thomas was not to be pricked out of his form even by so +shrewd a pricker; and like unto one who heareth not, he continued to +look most graciously on the homely vessel that stood ready to +receive his wisdom. + +"Thy mind," said he, "being unprepared for higher cogitations, and +the groundwork and religious duty not being well rammer-beaten and +flinted, I do pass over this supererogatory point, and inform thee +rather, that bucks and swans and herons have something in their very +names announcing them of knightly appurtenance; and (God forfend +that evil do ensue therefrom!) that a goose on the common, or a +game-cock on the loft of a cottager or villager, may be seized, +bagged, and abducted, with far less offence to the laws. In a buck +there is something so gainly and so grand, he treadeth the earth +with such ease and such agility, he abstaineth from all other +animals with such punctilious avoidance, one would imagine God +created him when he created knighthood. In the swan there is such +purity, such coldness is there in the element he inhabiteth, such +solitude of station, that verily he doth remind me of the Virgin +Queen herself. Of the heron I have less to say, not having him +about me; but I never heard his lordly croak without the conceit +that it resembled a chancellor's or a primate's. + +"I do perceive, William Shakspeare, thy compunction and contrition." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I was thinking, may it please your worship, of the game-cock and +the goose, having but small notion of herons. This doctrine of +abduction, please your worship, hath been alway inculcated by the +soundest of our judges. Would they had spoken on other points with +the same clearness. How many unfortunates might thereby have been +saved from crossing the Cordilleras!" {72a} + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay, ay! they have been fain to fly the country at last, thither or +elsewhere." + +And then did Sir Thomas call unto him Master Silas, and say, - + +"Walk we into the bay-window. And thou mayest come, Ephraim." + +And when we were there together, I, Master Silas, and his worship, +did his worship say unto the chaplain, but oftener looking toward +me, - + +"I am not ashamed to avouch that it goeth against me to hang this +young fellow, richly as the offence in its own nature doth deserve +it, he talketh so reasonably; not indeed so reasonably, but so like +unto what a reasonable man may listen to and reflect on. There is +so much, too, of compassion for others in hard cases, and something +so very near in semblance to innocence itself in that airy swing of +lightheartedness about him. I cannot fix my eyes (as one would say) +on the shifting and sudden SHADE-AND-SHINE, which cometh back to me, +do what I will, and mazes me in a manner, and blinks me." + +At this juncture I was ready to fall upon the ground before his +worship, and clasp his knees for Willy's pardon. But he had so many +points about him, that I feared to discompose 'em, and thus make bad +worse. Besides which, Master Silas left me but scanty space for +good resolutions, crying, - + +"He may be committed, to save time. Afterward he may be sentenced +to death, or he may not." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"'T were shame upon me were he not; 't were indication that I acted +unadvisedly in the commitment." + +SIR SILAS. + +"The penalty of the law may be commuted, if expedient, on +application to the fountain of mercy in London." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Maybe, Silas, those shall be standing round the fount of mercy who +play in idleness and wantonness with its waters, and let them not +flow widely, nor take their natural course. Dutiful gallants may +encompass it, and it may linger among the flowers they throw into +it, and never reach the parched lip on the wayside. + +"These are homely thoughts--thoughts from a-field, thoughts for the +study and housekeeper's room. But whenever I have given utterance +unto them, as my heart hath often prompted me with beatings at the +breast, my hearers seemed to bear toward me more true and kindly +affection than my richest fancies and choicest phraseologies could +purchase. + +"'T were convenient to bethink thee, should any other great man's +park have been robbed this season, no judge upon the bench will back +my recommendation for mercy. And, indeed, how could I expect it? +Things may soon be brought to such a pass that their lordships shall +scarcely find three haunches each upon the circuit." + +"Well, Sir!" quoth Master Silas, "you have a right to go on in your +own way. Make him only give up the girl." + +Here Sir Thomas reddened with righteous indignation, and answered, - + +"I cannot think it! such a stripling! poor, penniless; it must be +some one else." And now Master Silas did redden in his turn, redder +than Sir Thomas, and first asked me, - + +"What the devil do you stare at?" And then asked his worship, - + +"Who should it be if not the rogue?" and his lips turned as blue as +a blue-bell. Then Sir Thomas left the window, and again took his +chair, and having stood so long on his legs, groaned upon it to ease +him. His worship scowled with all his might, and looked exceedingly +wroth and vengeful at the culprit, and said unto him, - + +"Harkye, knave! I have been conferring with my learned clerk and +chaplain in what manner I may, with the least severity, rid the +county (which thou disgracest) of thee." + +William Shakspeare raised up his eyes, modestly and fearfully, and +said slowly these few words, which, had they been a better and +nobler man's, would deserve to be written in letters of gold. I, +not having that art nor substance, do therefore write them in my +largest and roundest character, and do leave space about 'em, +according to their rank and dignity + +"Worshipful sir!" + +"A WORD IN THE EAR IS OFTEN AS GOOD AS A HALTER UNDER IT, AND SAVES +THE GROAT." + +"Thou discoursest well," said Sir Thomas, "but others can discourse +well likewise. Thou shalt avoid; I am resolute." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I supplicate your honour to impart unto me, in your wisdom, the +mode and means whereby I may surcease to be disgraceful to the +county." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I am not bloody-minded. + +"First, thou shalt have the fairest and fullest examination. Much +hath been deposed against thee; something may come forth for thy +advantage. I will not thy death; thou shalt not die. + +"The laws have loopholes, like castles, both to shoot from and to +let folks down." + +SIR SILAS. + +"That pointed ear would look the better for paring, and that high +forehead can hold many letters." + +Whereupon did William, poor lad! turn deadly pale, but spake not. + +Sir Thomas then abated a whit of his severity, and said, staidly, - + +"Testimony doth appear plain and positive against thee; nevertheless +am I minded and prompted to aid thee myself, in disclosing and +unfolding what thou couldst not of thine own wits, in furtherance of +thine own defence. + +"One witness is persuaded and assured of the evil spirit having been +abroad, and the punt appeared unto him diversely from what it +appeared unto the other." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"If the evil spirit produced one appearance, he might have produced +all, with deference to the graver judgment of your worship. + +"If what seemed PUNT was DEVIL, what seemed BUCK might have been +DEVIL too; nay, more easily, the horns being forthcoming. + +"Thieves and reprobates do resemble him more nearly still; and it +would be hard if he could not make free with their bodies, when he +has their souls already." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"But, then, those voices! and thou thyself, Will Shakspeare!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"O might I kiss the hand of my deliverer, whose clear-sightedness +throweth such manifest and plenary light upon my innocence!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"How so? What light, in God's name, have I thrown upon it as yet?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Oh! those voices! those faeries and spirits! whence came they? +None can deal with 'em but the devil, the parson, and witches. And +does not the devil oftentimes take the very form, features, and +habiliments of knights, and bishops, and other good men, to lead +them into temptation and destroy them? or to injure their good name, +in failure of seduction? + +"He is sure of the wicked; he lets them go their ways out of hand. + +"I think your worship once delivered some such observation, in more +courtly guise, which I would not presume to ape. If it was not your +worship, it was our glorious lady the queen, or the wise Master +Walsingham, or the great Lord Cecil. I may have marred and broken +it, as sluts do a pancake, in the turning." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Why! ay, indeed, I had occasion once to remark as much." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"So have I heard in many places; although I was not present when +Matthew Atterend fought about it for the honour of Kineton hundred." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Fought about it!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"As your honour recollects. Not but on other occasions he would +have fought no less bravely for the queen." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"We must get thee through, were it only for thy memory,--the most +precious gift among the mental powers that Providence hath bestowed +upon us. I had half forgotten the thing myself. Thou mayest, in +time, take thy satchel for London, and aid good old Master +Holingshed. + +"We must clear thee, Will! I am slow to surmise that there is blood +upon thy hands!" + +His worship's choler had all gone down again; and he sat as cool and +comfortable as a man sitteth to be shaved. Then called he on Euseby +Treen, and said, - + +"Euseby Treen! tell us whether thou observedst anything unnoticed or +unsaid by the last witness." + +EUSEBY TREEN. + +"One thing only, sir! + +"When they had passed the water an owlet hooted after them; and +methought, if they had any fear of God before their eyes they would +have turned back, he cried so lustily." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir, I cannot forbear to take the owlet out of your mouth. He +knocks them all on the head like so many mice. Likely story! One +fellow hears him cry lustily, the other doth not hear him at all!" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"Not hear him! A body might have heard him at Barford or +Sherbourne." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Why didst not name him? Canst not answer me?" + +JOSEPH CARNABY. + +"HE doubted whether punt were punt; I doubted whether owlet were +owlet, after Lucifer was away from the roll-call. + +"We say, SPEAK THE TRUTH AND SHAME THE DEVIL; but shaming him is one +thing, your honour, and facing him another! I have heard owlets, +but never owlet like him." + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"The Lord be praised! All, at last, a-running to my rescue. + +"Owlet, indeed! Your worship may have remembered in an ancient +book--indeed, what book is so ancient that your worship doth not +remember it?--a book printed by Doctor Faustus--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Before he dealt with the devil?" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Not long before, it being the very book that made the devil think +it worth his while to deal with him." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What chapter thereof wouldst thou recall unto my recollection?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"That concerning owls, with the grim print afore it. + +"Doctor Faustus, the wise doctor, who knew other than owls and +owlets, knew the tempter in that form. Faustus was not your man for +fancies and figments; and he tells us that, to his certain +knowledge, it was verily an owl's face that whispered so much +mischief in the ear of our first parent. + +"One plainly sees it, quoth Doctor Faustus, under that gravity which +in human life we call dignity, but of which we read nothing in the +Gospel. We despise the hangman, we detest the hanged; and yet, +saith Duns Scotus, could we turn aside the heavy curtain, or stand +high enough a-tiptoe to peep through its chinks and crevices, we +should perhaps find these two characters to stand justly among the +most innocent in the drama. He who blinketh the eyes of the poor +wretch about to die doeth it out of mercy; those who preceded him, +bidding him in the garb of justice to shed the blood of his fellow- +man, had less or none. So they hedge well their own grounds, what +care they? For this do they catch at stakes and thorns, at quick +and rotten--" + +Here Master Silas interrupted the discourse of the devil's own +doctor, delivered and printed by him before he was the devil's, to +which his worship had listened very attentively and delightedly. +But Master Silas could keep his temper no longer, and cried, +fiercely, "Seditious sermonizer! hold thy peace, or thou shalt +answer for 't before convocation." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas! thou dost not approve, then, the doctrine of this Doctor +Duns?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"Heretical Rabbi!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"IF TWO OF A TRADE CAN NEVER AGREE, yet surely two of a name may." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Who dares call me heretical? who dares call me rabbi? who dares +call me Scotus? Spider! spider! yea, thou hast one corner left; I +espy thee, and my broom shall reach thee yet." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I perceive that Master Silas doth verily believe I have been guilty +of suborning the witnesses, at least the last, the best man (if any +difference) of the two. No, sir, no. If my family and friends have +united their wits and money for this purpose, be the crime of +perverted justice on their heads! They injure whom they intended to +serve. Improvident men!--if the young may speak thus of the +elderly; could they imagine to themselves that your worship was to +be hoodwinked and led astray?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"No man shall ever dare to hoodwink me, to lead me astray,--no, nor +lead me anywise. Powerful defence! Heyday! Sit quiet, Master +Treen!--Euseby Treen! dost hear me? Clench thy fist again, sirrah! +and I clap thee in the stocks. + +"Joseph Carnaby! do not scratch thy breast nor thy pate before me." + +Now Joseph had not only done that in his wrath, but had unbuckled +his leathern garter, fit instrument for strife and blood, and +peradventure would have smitten, had not the knight, with +magisterial authority, interposed. + +His worship said unto him, gravely, - + +"Joseph Carnaby! Joseph Carnaby! hast thou never read the words +'PUT UP THY SWORD'?" + +"Subornation! your worship!" cried Master Joe. "The fellow hath +ne'er a shilling in leather or till, and many must go to suborn one +like me." + +"I do believe it of thee," said Sir Thomas; "but patience, man! +patience! he rather tended toward exculpating thee. Ye have far to +walk for dinner; ye may depart." + +They went accordingly. + +Then did Sir Thomas say, "These are hot men, Silas!" + +And Master Silas did reply unto him, - + +"There are brands that would set fire to the bulrushes in the mill- +pool. I know these twain for quiet folks, having coursed with them +over Wincott. + +Sir Thomas then said unto William, "It behooveth thee to stand clear +of yon Joseph, unless when thou mayest call to thy aid the Matthew +Atterend thou speakest of. He did then fight valiantly, eh?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"His cause fought valiantly; his fist but seconded it. He won,-- +proving the golden words to be no property of our lady's, although +her Highness hath never disclaimed them." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What art thou saying?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"So I heard from a preacher at Oxford, who had preached at Easter in +the chapel-royal of Westminster." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou! why, how could that happen? Oxford! chapel-royal!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"And to whom I said (your worship will forgive my forwardness), 'I +HAVE THE HONOUR, SIR, TO LIVE WITHIN TWO MEASURED MILES OF THE VERY +SIR THOMAS LUCY WHO SPAKE THAT.' And I vow I said it without any +hope or belief that he would invite me, as he did, to dine with him +thereupon." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"There be nigh upon three miles betwixt this house and Stratford +bridge-end." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I dropt a mile in my pride and exultation, God forgive me! I would +not conceal my fault." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Wonderful! that a preacher so learned as to preach before majesty +in the chapel-royal should not have caught thee tripping over a +whole lawful mile,--a good third of the distance between my house +and the cross-roads. This is incomprehensible in a scholar." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"God willed that he should become my teacher, and in the bowels of +his mercy hid my shame." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"How camest thou into the converse of such eminent and ghostly men?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"How, indeed?--everything against me!" + +He sighed, and entered into a long discourse, which Master Silas +would at sundry times have interrupted, but that Sir Thomas more +than once frowned upon him, even as he had frowned heretofore on +young Will, who thus began and continued his narration:- + +"Hearing the preacher preach at Saint Mary's (for being about my +father's business on Saturday, and not choosing to be a-horseback on +Sundays, albeit time-pressed, I footed it to Oxford for my +edification on the Lord's day, leaving the sorrel with Master Hal +Webster of the Tankard and Unicorn)--hearing him preach, as I was +saying, before the University in St. Mary's Church, and hearing him +use moreover the very words that Matthew fought about, I was +impatient (God forgive me!) for the end and consummation, and I +thought I never should hear those precious words that ease every +man's heart, 'NOW TO CONCLUDE.' However, come they did. I hurried +out among the foremost, and thought the congratulations of the other +doctors and dons would last for ever. He walked sharply off, and +few cared to keep his pace,--for they are lusty men mostly; and +spiteful bad women had breathed {89a} in the faces of some among +them, or the gowns had got between their legs. For my part, I was +not to be balked; so, tripping on aside him, I looked in his face +askance. Whether he misgave or how, he turned his eyes downward. +No matter--have him I would. I licked my lips and smacked them loud +and smart, and scarcely venturing to nod, I gave my head such a sort +of motion as dace and roach give an angler's quill when they begin +to bite. And this fairly hooked him." + +"'Young gentleman!' said he, 'where is your gown?' + +"'Reverend sir!' said I, 'I am unworthy to wear one.' + +"'A proper youth, nevertheless, and mightily well-spoken!' he was +pleased to say. + +"'Your reverence hath given me heart, which failed me,' was my +reply. 'Ah! your reverence! those words about the devil were spicy +words; but, under favour, I do know the brook-side they sprang and +flowered by. 'T is just where it runs into Avon; 't is called +Hogbrook.' + +"'Right!' quoth he, putting his hand gently on my shoulder; 'but if +I had thought it needful to say so in my sermon, I should have +affronted the seniors of the University, since many claim them, and +some peradventure would fain transpose them into higher places, and +giving up all right and title to them, would accept in lieu thereof +the poor recompense of a mitre.' + +"I wished (unworthy wish for a Sunday!) I had Matthew Atterend in +the midst of them. He would have given them skulls mitre-fashioned, +if mitres are cloven now as we see them on ancient monuments. Matt +is your milliner for gentles, who think no more harm of purloining +rich saws in a mitre than lane-born boys do of embezzling hazel-nuts +in a woollen cap. I did not venture to expound or suggest my +thoughts, but feeling my choler rise higher and higher, I craved +permission to make my obeisance and depart. + +"'Where dost thou lodge, young man?' said the preacher. + +"'At the public,' said I, 'where my father customarily lodgeth. +There, too, is a mitre of the old fashion, swinging on the sign-post +in the middle of the street.' + +"'Respectable tavern enough!' quoth the reverend doctor; 'and worthy +men do turn in there, even quality,--Master Davenant, Master Powel, +Master Whorwood, aged and grave men. But taverns are Satan's +chapels, and are always well attended on the Lord's day, to twit +him. Hast thou no friend in such a city as Oxford?' + +"'Only the landlady of the Mitre,' said I. + +"'A comely woman,' quoth he, 'but too young for business by half. + +"'Stay thou with me to-day, and fare frugally, but safely. + +"'What may thy name be, and where is thy abode?' + +"'William Shakspeare, of Stratford-upon-Avon, at your service, sir.' + +"'And welcome,' said he; 'thy father ere now hath bought our college +wool. A truly good man we ever found him; and I doubt not he hath +educated his son to follow him in his paths. There is in the blood +of man, as in the blood of animals, that which giveth the temper and +disposition. These require nurture and culture. But what nurture +will turn flint-stones into garden mould? or what culture rear +cabbages in the quarries of Hedington Hill? To be well born is the +greatest of all God's primary blessings, young man, and there are +many well born among the poor and needy. Thou art not of the +indigent and destitute, who have great temptations; thou art not of +the wealthy and affluent, who have greater still. God hath placed +thee, William Shakspeare, in that pleasant island, on one side +whereof are the sirens, on the other the harpies, but inhabiting the +coasts on the wider continent, and unable to make their talons felt, +or their voices heard by thee. Unite with me in prayer and +thanksgiving for the blessings thus vouchsafed. We must not close +the heart when the finger of God would touch it. Enough, if thou +sayest only, MY SOUL, PRAISE THOU THE LORD!'" + +Sir Thomas said, "AMEN!" Master Silas was mute for the moment, but +then quoth he, "I can say amen too in the proper place." + +The knight of Charlecote, who appeared to have been much taken with +this conversation, then interrogated Willy:- + +"What farther might have been thy discourse with the doctor? or did +he discourse at all at trencher-time? Thou must have been very much +abashed to sit down at table with one who weareth a pure lambskin +across his shoulder, and moreover a pink hood." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Faith! was I, your honour! and could neither utter nor gulp." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"These are good signs. Thou hast not lost all grace." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"With the encouragement of Dr. Glaston--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And was it Dr. Glaston?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Said I not so?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"The learnedst clerk in Christendom! a very Friar Bacon! The Pope +offered a hundred marks in Latin to who should eviscerate or evirate +him,--poisons very potent, whereat the Italians are handy,--so +apostolic and desperate a doctor is Doctor Glaston! so acute in his +quiddities, and so resolute in his bearing! He knows the dark arts, +but stands aloof from them. Prithee, what were his words unto +thee?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Manna, sir, manna! pure from the desert!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay, but what spake he? for most sermons are that, and likewise many +conversations after dinner." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He spake of the various races and qualities of men, as before +stated; but chiefly on the elect and reprobate, and how to +distinguish and know them." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Did he go so far?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He told me that by such discussion he should say enough to keep me +constantly out of evil company." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"See there! see there! and yet thou art come before me!--Can nothing +warn thee?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I dare not dissemble, nor feign, nor hold aught back, although it +be to my confusion. As well may I speak at once the whole truth for +your worship could find it out if I abstained." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay, that I should indeed, and shortly. But, come now, I am sated +of thy follies and roguish tricks, and yearn after the sound +doctrine of that pious man. What expounded the grave Glaston upon +signs and tokens whereby ye shall be known?" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Wonderful things! things beyond belief! 'There be certain men,' +quoth he--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"He began well. This promises. But why canst not thou go on?" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"'There be certain men, who, rubbing one corner of the eye, do see a +peacock's feather at the other, and even fire. We know, William, +what that fire is, and whence it cometh. Those wicked men, William, +all have their marks upon them, be it only a corn, or a wart, or a +mole, or a hairy ear, or a toe-nail turned inward. Sufficient, and +more than sufficient! He knoweth his own by less tokens. There is +not one of them that doth not sweat at some secret sin committed, or +some inclination toward it unsnaffled. + +"'Certain men are there, likewise, who venerate so little the +glorious works of the Creator that I myself have known them to +sneeze at the sun! Sometimes it was against their will, and they +would gladly have checked it had they been able; but they were +forced to shew what they are. In our carnal state we say, WHAT IS +ONE AGAINST NUMBERS? In another we shall truly say, WHAT ARE +NUMBERS AGAINST ONE?'" + +Sir Thomas did ejaculate, "AMEN! AMEN!" And then his lips moved +silently, piously, and quickly; and then said he, audibly and +loudly, - + +"AND MAKE US AT LAST TRUE ISRAELITES!" + +After which he turned to young Willy, and said, anxiously, - + +"Hast thou more, lad? give us it while the Lord strengtheneth." + +"Sir," answered Willy, "although I thought it no trouble, on my +return to the Mitre, to write down every word I could remember, and +although few did then escape me, yet at this present I can bring to +mind but scanty sentences, and those so stray and out of order that +they would only prove my incapacity for sterling wisdom, and my +incontinence of spiritual treasure." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Even that sentence hath a twang of the doctor in it. Nothing is so +sweet as humility. The mountains may descend, but the valleys +cannot rise. Every man should know himself. Come, repeat what thou +canst. I would fain have three or four more heads." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I know not whether I can give your worship more than one other. +Let me try. It was when Doctor Glaston was discoursing on the +protection the wise and powerful should afford to the ignorant and +weak:- + +"'In the earlier ages of mankind, your Greek and Latin authors +inform you, there went forth sundry worthies, men of might, to +deliver, not wandering damsels, albeit for those likewise they had +stowage, but low-conditioned men, who fell under the displeasure of +the higher, and groaned in thraldom and captivity. And these mighty +ones were believed to have done such services to poor humanity that +their memory grew greater than they, as shadows do than substances +at day-fall. And the sons and grandsons of the delivered did laud +and magnify those glorious names; and some in gratitude, and some in +tribulation, did ascend the hills, which appeared unto them as +altars bestrown with flowers and herbage for heaven's acceptance. +And many did go far into the quiet groves, under lofty trees, +looking for whatever was mightiest and most protecting. And in such +places did they cry aloud unto the mighty who had left them, +"RETURN! RETURN! HELP US! HELP US! BE BLESSED! FOR EVER BLESSED!" + +"'Vain men! but had they stayed there, not evil. Out of gratitude, +purest gratitude, rose idolatry. For the devil sees the fairest, +and soils it. + +"'In these our days, methinks, whatever other sins we may fall into, +such idolatry is the least dangerous. For neither on the one side +is there much disposition for gratitude, nor on the other much zeal +to deliver the innocent and oppressed. Even this deliverance, +although a merit, and a high one, is not the highest. Forgiveness +is beyond it. Forgive, or ye shall not be forgiven. This ye may do +every day; for if ye find not offences, ye feign them; and surely ye +may remove your own work, if ye may re-remove another's. To rescue +requires more thought and wariness; learn, then, the easier lesson +first. Afterward, when ye rescue any from another's violence, or +from his own (which oftentimes is more dangerous, as the enemies are +within not only the penetrals of his house but of his heart), bind +up his wounds before ye send him on his way. Should ye at any time +overtake the erring, and resolve to deliver him up, I will tell you +whither to conduct him. Conduct him to his Lord and Master, whose +household he hath left. It is better to consign him to Christ his +Saviour than to man his murderer; it is better to bid him live than +to bid him die. The one word our Teacher and Preserver said, the +other our enemy and destroyer. Bring him back again, the stray, the +lost one bring him back, not with clubs and cudgels, not with +halberts and halters, but generously and gently, and with the +linking of the arm. In this posture shall God above smile upon ye; +in this posture of yours he shall recognize again his beloved Son +upon earth. Do ye likewise, and depart in peace.'" + +William had ended, and there was silence in the hall for some time +after, when Sir Thomas said, - + +"He spake unto somewhat mean persons, who may do it without +disparagement. I look for authority, I look for doctrine, and find +none yet. If he could not have drawn us out a thread or two from +the coat of an apostle, he might have given us a smack of Augustin, +or a sprig of Basil. Our older sermons are headier than these, +Master Silas! our new beer is the sweeter and clammier, and wants +more spice. The doctor hath seasoned his with pretty wit enough, to +do him justice, which in a sermon is never out of place; for if +there be the bane, there likewise is the antidote. + +"What dost thou think about it, Master Silas?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"1 would not give ten farthings for ten folios of such sermons." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"These words, Master Silas, will oftener be quoted than any others +of thine; but rarely (do I suspect) as applicable to Doctor Glaston. +I must stick unto his gown. I must declare that, to my poor +knowledge, many have been raised to the bench of bishops for less +wisdom and worse than is contained in the few sentences I have been +commanded by authority to recite. No disparagement to any body I +know, Master Silas, and multitudes bear witness, that thou above +most art a dead hand at a sermon." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Touch my sermons, wilt dare?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Nay, Master Silas, be not angered; it is courage enough to hear +them." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Now, Silas, hold thy peace and rest contented. He hath excused +himself unto thee, throwing in a compliment far above his station, +and not unworthy of Rome or Florence. I did not think him so ready. +Our Warwickshire lads are fitter for football than courtesies; and, +sooth to say, not only the inferior." + +His worship turned from Master Silas toward William, and said, +"Brave Willy, thou hast given us our bitters; we are ready now for +any thing solid. What hast left?" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Little or nothing, sir." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Well, give us that little or nothing." + +William Shakspeare was obedient to the commands of Sir Thomas, who +had spoken thus kindly unto him, and had deigned to cast at him from +his LORDLY DISH (as the Psalmist hath it) a fragment of +facetiousness. + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Alas, sir! may I repeat it without offence, it not being doctrine +but admonition, and meant for me only?" + +"Speak it the rather for that," quoth Sir Thomas. + +Then did William give utterance to the words of the preacher, not +indeed in his sermon at St. Mary's, but after dinner. + +"'Lust seizeth us in youth, ambition in midlife, avarice in old age; +but vanity and pride are the besetting sins that drive the angels +from our cradle, pamper us with luscious and most unwholesome food, +ride our first stick with us, mount our first horse with us, wake +with us in the morning, dream with us in the night, and never at any +time abandon us. In this world, beginning with pride and vanity, we +are delivered over from tormentor to tormentor, until the worst +tormentor of all taketh absolute possession of us for ever, seizing +us at the mouth of the grave, enchaining us in his own dark dungeon, +standing at the door, and laughing at our cries. But the Lord, out +of his infinite mercy, hath placed in the hand of every man the helm +to steer his course by, pointing it out with his finger, and giving +him strength as well as knowledge to pursue it. + +"'William! William! there is in the moral straits a current from +right to wrong, but no re-flux from wrong to right; for which +destination we must hoist our sails aloft and ply our oars +incessantly, or night and the tempest will overtake us, and we shall +shriek out in vain from the billows, and irrecoverably sink.'" + +"Amen!" cried Sir Thomas most devoutly, sustaining his voice long +and loud. + +"Open that casement, good Silas! the day is sultry for the season of +the year; it approacheth unto noontide. The room is close, and +those blue flies do make a strange hubbub." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"In troth do they, sir; they come from the kitchen, and do savour +woundily of roast goose! And, methinks--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What bethinkest thou?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The fancy of a moment,--a light and vain one." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou relievest me; speak it!" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"How could the creatures cast their coarse rank odour thus far?-- +even into your presence! A noble and spacious hall! Charlecote, in +my mind, beats Warwick Castle, and challenges Kenilworth." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"The hall is well enough; I must say it is a noble hall,--a hall for +a queen to sit down in. And I stuffed an arm-chair with horse-hair +on purpose, feathers over it, swan-down over them again, and covered +it with scarlet cloth of Bruges, five crowns the short ell. But her +highness came not hither; she was taken short; she had a tongue in +her ear." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Where all is spring, all is buzz and murmur." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Quaint and solid as the best yew hedge. I marvel at thee. A +knight might have spoken it, under favour. They stopped her at +Warwick--to see what? two old towers that don't match, {105a} and a +portcullis that (people say) opens only upon fast-days. Charlecote +Hall, I could have told her sweet Highness, was built by those Lucys +who came over with Julius Caesar and William the Conqueror, with +cross and scallop-shell on breast and beaver." + +"But, HONEST WILLY!?--" + +Such were the very words; I wrote them down with two signs in the +margent,--one a mark of admiration, as thus (!), the other of +interrogation (so we call it) as thus (?). + +"But, honest Willy, I would fain hear more," quoth he, "about the +learned Doctor Glaston. He seemeth to be a man after God's own +heart." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Ay is he! Never doth he sit down to dinner but he readeth first a +chapter of the Revelation; and if he tasteth a pound of butter at +Carfax, he saith a grace long enough to bring an appetite for a +baked bull's {106a} --zle. If this be not after God's own heart, I +know not what is." +*** Corrected and spell-checked to here--page 107 *** +SIR THOMAS. + +"I would fain confer with him, but that Oxford lieth afar off,--a +matter of thirty miles, I hear. I might, indeed, write unto him; +but our Warwickshire pens are mighty broad-nibbed, and there is a +something in this plaguy ink of ours sadly ropy--" + +"I fear there is," quoth Willy. + +"And I should scorn," continued his worship, "to write otherwise +than in a fine Italian character to the master of a college, near in +dignity to knighthood." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Worshipful sir! is there no other way of communicating but by +person, or writing, or messages?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I will consider and devise. At present I can think of none so +satisfactory." + +And now did the great clock over the gateway strike. And Bill +Shakspeare did move his lips, even as Sir Thomas had moved his +erewhile in ejaculating. And when he had wagged them twice or +thrice after the twelve strokes of the clock were over, again he +ejaculated with voice also, saying, - + +"Mercy upon us! how the day wears! Twelve strokes! Might I retire, +please your worship, into the chapel for about three quarters of an +hour, and perform the service {108a} as ordained?" + +Before Sir Thomas could give him leave or answer, did Sir Silas cry +aloud, - + +"He would purloin the chalice, worth forty-eight shillings, and melt +it down in the twinkling of an eye, he is so crafty." + +But the knight was more reasonable, and said, reprovingly, - + +"There now, Silas! thou talkest widely, and verily in malice, if +there be any in thee." + +"Try him," answered Master Silas; "I don't kneel where he does. +Could he have but his wicked will of me he would chop my legs off, +as he did the poor buck's." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"No, no, no; he hath neither guile nor revenge in him. We may let +him have his way, now that he hath taken the right one." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Popery! sheer popery! strong as harts-horn! Your papists keep +these outlandish hours for their masses and mummery. Surely we +might let God alone at twelve o'clock! Have we no bowels?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Gracious sir! I do not urge it; and the time is now past by some +minutes." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Art thou popishly inclined, William?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir, I am not popishly inclined; I am not inclined to pay tribute +of coin or understanding to those who rush forward with a pistol at +my breast, crying, 'STAND, OR YOU ARE A DEAD MAN.' I have but one +guide in faith,--a powerful, an almighty one. He will not suffer to +waste away and vanish the faith for which he died. He hath chosen +in all countries pure hearts for its depositaries; and I would +rather take it from a friend and neighbour, intelligent and +righteous, and rejecting lucre, than from some foreigner educated in +the pride of cities or in the moroseness of monasteries, who sells +me what Christ gave me,--his own flesh and blood. + +"I can repeat by heart what I read above a year agone, albeit I +cannot bring to mind the title of the book in which I read it. +These are the words, - + +"'The most venal and sordid of all the superstitions that have swept +and darkened our globe may, indeed, like African locusts, have +consumed the green corn in very extensive regions, and may return +periodically to consume it; but the strong, unwearied labourer who +sowed it hath alway sown it in other places less exposed to such +devouring pestilences. Those cunning men who formed to themselves +the gorgeous plan of universal dominion were aware that they had a +better chance of establishing it than brute ignorance or brute force +could supply, and that soldiers and their paymasters were subject to +other and powerfuller fears than the transitory ones of war and +invasion. What they found in heaven they seized; what they wanted +they forged. + +"'And so long as there is vice and ignorance in the world, so long +as fear is a passion, their dominion will prevail; but their +dominion is not, and never shall be, universal. Can we wonder that +it is so general? Can we wonder that anything is wanting to give it +authority and effect, when every learned, every prudent, every +powerful, every ambitious man in Europe, for above a thousand years, +united in the league to consolidate it? + +"'The old dealers in the shambles, where Christ's body is exposed +for sale in convenient marketable slices, {111a} have not covered +with blood and filth the whole pavement. Beautiful usages are +remaining still,--kindly affections, radiant hopes, and ardent +aspirations! + +"'It is a comfortable thing to reflect, as they do, and as we may do +unblamably, that we are uplifting to our Guide and Maker the same +incense of the heart, and are uttering the very words, which our +dearest friends in all quarters of the earth, nay in heaven itself, +are offering to the throne of grace at the same moment. + +"'Thus are we together through the immensity of space. What are +these bodies? Do they unite us? No; they keep us apart and asunder +even while we touch. Realms and oceans, worlds and ages, open +before two spirits bent on heaven. What a choir surrounds us when +we resolve to live unitedly and harmoniously in Christian faith!'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Now, Silas, what sayest thou?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"Ignorant fool!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Ignorant fools are bearable, Master Silas! your wise ones are the +worst." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Prithee no bandying of loggerheads." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Or else what mortal man shall say +Whose shins may suffer in the fray?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou reasonest aptly and timest well. And surely, being now in so +rational and religious a frame of mind, thou couldst recall to +memory a section or head or two of the sermon holden at St. Mary's. +It would do thee and us as much good as LIGHTEN OUR DARKNESS, or +FORASMUCH AS IT HATH PLEASED; and somewhat less than three quarters +of an hour (maybe less than one quarter) sufficeth." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Or he hangs without me. I am for dinner in half the time." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas! Silas! he hangeth not with thee or without thee." + +SIR SILAS. + +"He thinketh himself a clever fellow; but he (look ye) is the +cleverest that gets off." + +"I hold quite the contrary," quoth Will Shakspeare, winking at +Master Silas from the comfort and encouragement he had just received +touching the hanging. + +And Master Silas had his answer ready, and shewed that he was more +than a match for poor Willy in wit and poetry. + +He answered thus:- + + +"If winks are wit, +Who wanteth it? + + +Thou hadst other bolts to kill bucks withal. In wit, sirrah, thou +art a mere child." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Little dogs are jealous of children, great ones fondle them." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"An that were written in the Apocrypha, in the very teeth of Bel and +the Dragon, it could not be truer. I have witnessed it with my own +eyes over and over." + +SIR SILAS. + +"He will take this for wit, likewise, now the arms of Lucy do seal +it." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas, they may stamp wit, they may further wit, they may send wit +into good company, but not make it." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Behold my wall of defence!" + +SIR SILAS. + +"An thou art for walls, I have one for thee from Oxford, pithy and +apposite, sound and solid, and trimmed up becomingly, as a collar of +brawn with a crown of rosemary, or a boar's head with a lemon in the +mouth." + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"Egad, Master Silas, those are your walls for lads to climb over, an +they were higher than Babel's." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Have at thee!" + + +"Thou art a wall +To make the ball + Rebound from. + +"Thou hast a back +For beadle's crack + To sound from, to sound from. + + +The foolishest dolts are the ground-plot of the most wit, as the +idlest rogues are of the most industry. Even thou hast brought wit +down from Oxford. And before a thief is hanged, parliament must +make laws, attorneys must engross them, printers stamp and publish +them, hawkers cry them, judges expound them, juries weigh and +measure them with offences, then executioners carry them into +effect. The farmer hath already sown the hemp, the ropemaker hath +twisted it; sawyers saw the timber, carpenters tack together the +shell, grave-diggers delve the earth. And all this truly for +fellows like unto thee." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Whom a God came down from heaven to save." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas! he hangeth not. William, I must have the heads of the +sermon, six or seven of 'em; thou hast whetted my appetite keenly. +How! dost duck thy pate into thy hat? nay, nay, that is proper and +becoming at church; we need not such solemnity. Repeat unto us the +setting forth at St. Mary's." + +Whereupon did William Shakspeare entreat of Master Silas that he +would help him in his ghostly endeavours, by repeating what he +called the PRELIMINARY prayer; which prayer I find nowhere in our +ritual, and do suppose it to be one of those Latin supplications +used in our learned universities now or erewhile. + +I am afeard it hath not the approbation of the strictly orthodox, +for inasmuch as Master Silas at such entreaty did close his teeth +against it, and with teeth thus closed did say, Athanasiuswise, "Go +and be damned!" + +Bill was not disheartened, but said he hoped better, and began +thus:- + +"'My brethren!' said the preacher, 'or rather let me call you my +children, such is my age confronted with yours, for the most part,-- +my children, then, and my brethren (for here are both), believe me, +killing is forbidden.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"This, not being delivered unto us from the pulpit by the preacher +himself, we may look into. Sensible man! shrewd reasoner! What a +stroke against deer-stealers! how full of truth and ruth! Excellent +discourse!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The last part was the best." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I always find it so. The softest of the cheesecake is left in the +platter when the crust is eaten. He kept the best bit for the last, +then? He pushed it under the salt, eh? He told thee--" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Exactly so." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What was it?" + +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE. + +"'Ye shall not kill.' + +SIR THOMAS. + +"How I did he run in a circle like a hare? One of his mettle should +break cover and off across the country like a fox or hart." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"'And yet ye kill time when ye can, and are uneasy when ye cannot.'" + +Whereupon did Sir Thomas say, aside unto himself, but within my +hearing, - + +"Faith and troth! he must have had a head in at the window here one +day or other." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"'This sin cryeth unto the Lord.' + +SIR THOMAS. + +"He was wrong there. It is not one of those that cry; mortal sins +cry. Surely he could not have fallen into such an error! it must be +thine; thou misunderstoodest him." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Mayhap, sir! A great heaviness came over me; I was oppressed in +spirit, and did feel as one awakening from a dream." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Godlier men than thou art do often feel the right hand of the Lord +upon their heads in like manner. It followeth contrition, and +precedeth conversion. Continue." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"'My brethren and children,' said the teacher, 'whenever ye want to +kill time call God to the chase, and bid the angels blow the horn; +and thus ye are sure to kill time to your heart's content. And ye +may feast another day, and another after that--'" + +Then said Master Silas unto me, concernedly, + +"This is the mischief-fullest of all the devil's imps, to talk in +such wise at a quarter past twelve!" + +But William went straight on, not hearing him, + +"'--upon what ye shall, in such pursuit, have brought home with you. +Whereas, if ye go alone, or two or three together, nay, even if ye +go in thick and gallant company, and yet provide not that these be +with ye, my word for it, and a powerfuller word than mine, ye shall +return to your supper tired and jaded, and rest little when ye want +to rest most.'" + +"Hast no other head of the Doctor's?" quoth Sir Thomas. + +"Verily none," replied Willy, "of the morning's discourse, saving +the last words of it, which, with God's help, I shall always +remember." + +"Give us them, give us them," said Sir Thomas. + +"He wants doctrine; he wants authority; his are grains of millet,-- +grains for unfledged doves; but they are sound, except the CRYING. + +"Deliver unto us the last words; for the last of the preacher, as of +the hanged, are usually the best." + +Then did William repeat the concluding words of the discourse, being +these:- + +"'As years are running past us, let us throw something on them which +they cannot shake off in the dust and hurry of the world, but must +carry with them to that great year of all, whereunto the lesser of +this mortal life do tend and are subservient.' + +Sir Thomas, after a pause, and after having bent his knee under the +table, as though there had been the church-cushion, said unto us, - + +"Here he spake THROUGH A GLASS, DARKLY, as blessed Paul hath it." + +Then turning toward Willy, - + +"And nothing more?" + +"Nothing but the GLORY," quoth Willy, "at which there is always such +a clatter of feet upon the floor, and creaking of benches, and +rustling of gowns, and bustle of bonnets, and justle of cushions, +and dust of mats, and treading of toes, and punching of elbows, from +the spitefuller, that one wishes to be fairly out of it, after the +scramble for THE PEACE OF GOD is at an end--" + +Sir Thomas threw himself back upon his armchair, and exclaimed in +wonderment, "How!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"--and in the midst of the service again, were it possible. For +nothing is painfuller than to have the pail shaken off the head when +it is brim-full of the waters of life, and we are walking staidly +under it." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Had the learned Doctor preached again in the evening, pursuing the +thread of his discourse, he might, peradventure, have made up the +deficiencies I find in him." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He had not that opportunity." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"The more's the pity." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"The evening admonition, delivered by him unto the household--" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What! and did he indeed shew wind enough for that? Prithee out +with it, if thou didst put it into thy tablets." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Alack, sir! there were so many Latin words, I fear me I should be +at fault in such attempt." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Fear not; we can help thee out between us, were there a dozen or a +score." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Bating those latinities, I do verily think I could tie up again +most of the points in his doublet." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"At him then! What was his bearing?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"In dividing his matter, he spooned out and apportioned the commons +in his discourse, as best suited the quality, capacity, and +constitution of his hearers. To those in priests' orders he +delivered a sort of catechism." + +SIR SILAS. + +"He catechise grown men! He catechise men in priests' orders!-- +being no bishop, nor bishop's ordinary!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He did so; it may be at his peril." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"And what else? for catechisms are baby's pap." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He did not catechise, but he admonished the richer gentlemen with +gold tassels for their top-knots." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I thought as much. It was no better in my time. Admonitions fell +gently upon those gold tassels; and they ripened degrees as glass +and sunshine ripen cucumbers. We priests, forsooth, are catechised! +The worst question to any gold tasseller is, 'HOW DO YOU DO?' Old +Alma Mater coaxes and would be coaxed. But let her look sharp, or +spectacles may be thrust upon her nose that shall make her eyes +water. Aristotle could make out no royal road to wisdom; but this +old woman of ours will shew you one, an you tip her. + +"Tilley valley! {124a} catechise priests, indeed!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Peradventure he did it discreetly. Let us examine and judge him. +Repeat thou what he said unto them." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"'Many,' said he, 'are ingenuous, many are devout, some timidly, +some strenuously, but nearly all flinch, and rear, and kick, at the +slightest touch, or least inquisitive suspicion of an unsound part +in their doctrine. And yet, my brethren, we ought rather to flinch +and feel sore at our own searching touch, our own serious +inquisition into ourselves. Let us preachers, who are sufficiently +liberal in bestowing our advice upon others, inquire of ourselves +whether the exercise of spiritual authority may not be sometimes too +pleasant, tickling our breasts with a plume from Satan's wing, and +turning our heads with that inebriating poison which he hath been +seen to instil into the very chalice of our salvation. Let us ask +ourselves in the closet whether, after we have humbled ourselves +before God in our prayers, we never rise beyond the due standard in +the pulpit; whether our zeal for the truth be never over-heated by +internal fires less holy; whether we never grow stiffly and sternly +pertinacious, at the very time when we are reproving the obstinacy +of others; and whether we have not frequently so acted as if we +believed that opposition were to be relaxed and borne away by self- +sufficiency and intolerance. Believe me, the wisest of us have our +catechism to learn; and these, my dear friends, are not the only +questions contained in it. No Christian can hate; no Christian can +malign. Nevertheless, do we not often both hate and malign those +unhappy men who are insensible to God's mercies? And I fear this +unchristian spirit swells darkly, with all its venom, in the marble +of our hearts, not because our brother is insensible to these +mercies, but because he is insensible to our faculty of persuasion, +turning a deaf ear unto our claim upon his obedience, or a blind or +sleepy eye upon the fountain of light, whereof we deem ourselves the +sacred reservoirs. There is one more question at which ye will +tremble when ye ask it in the recesses of your souls; I do tremble +at it, yet must utter it. Whether we do not more warmly and erectly +stand up for God's word because it came from our mouths, than +because it came from his? Learned and ingenious men may indeed find +a solution and excuse for all these propositions; but the wise unto +salvation will cry, "Forgive me, O my God, if, called by thee to +walk in thy way, I have not swept this dust from the sanctuary!"'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"All this, methinks, is for the behoof of clerks and ministers." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He taught them what they who teach others should learn and +practise. Then did he look toward the young gentlemen of large +fortune; and lastly his glances fell upon us poorer folk, whom he +instructed in the duty we owe to our superiors." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay, there he had a host." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"In one part of his admonition he said, - + +"'Young gentlemen! let not the highest of you who hear me this +evening be led into the delusion, for such it is, that the founder +of his family was ORIGINALLY a greater or a better man than the +lowest here. He willed it, and became it. He must have stood low; +he must have worked hard,--and with tools, moreover, of his own +invention and fashioning. He waved and whistled off ten thousand +strong and importunate temptations; he dashed the dice-box from the +jewelled hand of Chance, the cup from Pleasure's, and trod under +foot the sorceries of each; he ascended steadily the precipices of +Danger, and looked down with intrepidity from the summit; he +overawed Arrogance with Sedateness; he seized by the horn and +overleaped low Violence; and he fairly swung Fortune round. + +"'The very high cannot rise much higher; the very low may,--the +truly great must have done it. + +"'This is not the doctrine, my friends, of the silkenly and lawnly +religious; it wears the coarse texture of the fisherman, and walks +uprightly and straightforward under it. I am speaking now more +particularly to you among us upon whom God hath laid the +incumbrances of wealth, the sweets whereof bring teazing and +poisonous things about you, not easily sent away. What now are your +pretensions under sacks of money? or your enjoyments under the shade +of genealogical trees? Are they rational? Are they real? Do they +exist at all? Strange inconsistency! to be proud of having as much +gold and silver laid upon you as a mule hath, and yet to carry it +less composedly! The mule is not answerable for the conveyance and +discharge of his burden,--you are. Stranger infatuation still! to +be prouder of an excellent thing done by another than by yourselves, +supposing any excellent thing to have actually been done; and, after +all, to be more elated on his cruelties than his kindnesses, by the +blood he hath spilt than by the benefits he had conferred; and to +acknowledge less obligation to a well-informed and well-intentioned +progenitor than to a lawless and ferocious barbarian. Would stocks +and stumps, if they could utter words, utter such gross stupidity? +Would the apple boast of his crab origin, or the peach of his prune? +Hardly any man is ashamed of being inferior to his ancestors, +although it is the very thing at which the great should blush, if, +indeed, the great in general descended from the worthy. I did +expect to see the day, and although I shall not see it, it must come +at last, when he shall be treated as a madman or an impostor who +dares to claim nobility or precedency and cannot shew his family +name in the history of his country. Even he who can shew it, and +who cannot write his own under it in the same or as goodly +characters, must submit to the imputation of degeneracy, from which +the lowly and obscure are exempt. + +"'He alone who maketh you wiser maketh you greater; and it is only +by such an implement that Almighty God himself effects it. When he +taketh away a man's wisdom he taketh away his strength, his power +over others and over himself. What help for him then? He may sit +idly and swell his spleen, saying,--WHO IS THIS? WHO IS THAT? and at +the question's end the spirit of inquiry dies away in him. It would +not have been so if, in happier hour, he had said within himself, +WHO AM I? WHAT AM I? and had prosecuted the search in good earnest. + +"'When we ask who THIS man is, or who THAT man is, we do not expect +or hope for a plain answer; we should be disappointed at a direct, +or a rational, or a kind one. We desire to hear that he was of low +origin, or had committed some crime, or been subjected to some +calamity. Whoever he be, in general we disregard or despise him, +unless we discover that he possesseth by nature many qualities of +mind and body which he never brings into use, and many accessories +of situation and fortune which he brings into abuse every day. +According to the arithmetic in practice, he who makes the most +idlers and the most ingrates is the most worshipful. But wiser ones +than the scorers in this school will tell you how riches and power +were bestowed by Providence that generosity and mercy should be +exercised; for, if every gift of the Almighty were distributed in +equal portions to every creature, less of such virtues would be +called into the field; consequently there would be less of +gratitude, less of submission, less of devotion, less of hope, and, +in the total, less of content.'" + +Here he ceased, and Sir Thomas nodded, and said, - + +"Reasonable enough! nay, almost too reasonable!" + +"But where are the apostles? Where are the disciples? Where are +the saints? Where is hell-fire?" + +"Well! patience! we may come to it yet. Go on, Will!" + +With such encouragement before him, did Will Shakspeare take breath +and continue:- + +"'We mortals are too much accustomed to behold our superiors in rank +and station as we behold the leaves in the forest. While we stand +under these leaves, our protection and refuge from heat and labour, +we see only the rougher side of them, and the gloominess of the +branches on which they hang. In the midst of their benefits we are +insensible to their utility and their beauty, and appear to be +ignorant that if they were placed less high above us we should +derive from them less advantage.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Ay; envy of superiority made the angels kick and run restive." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"May it please your worship! with all my faults, I have ever borne +due submission and reverence toward my superiors." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Very right! very scriptural! But most folks do that. Our duty is +not fulfilled unless we bear absolute veneration; unless we are +ready to lay down our lives and fortunes at the foot of the throne, +and every thing else at the foot of those who administer the laws +under virgin majesty." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Honoured sir! I am quite ready to lay down my life and fortune, +and all the rest of me, before that great virgin." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Thy life and fortune, to wit! + +"What are they worth? A June cob-nut, maggot and all." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Silas, we will not repudiate nor rebuff his Magdalen, that bringeth +a pot of ointment. Rather let us teach and tutor than twit. It is +a tractable and conducible youth, being in good company." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Teach and tutor! Hold hard, sir! These base varlets ought to be +taught but two things: to bow as beseemeth them to their betters, +and to hang perpendicular. We have authority for it, that no man +can add an inch to his stature; but by aid of the sheriff I engage +to find a chap who shall add two or three to this whoreson's." +{133a} + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Nay, nay, now, Silas! the lad's mother was always held to be an +honest woman." + +SIR SILAS. + +"His mother may be an honest woman for me." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"No small privilege, by my faith! for any woman in the next parish +to thee, Master Silas!" + +SIR SILAS. + +"There again! out comes the filthy runlet from the quagmire, that +but now lay so quiet with all its own in it." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Until it was trodden on by the ass that could not leap over it. +These, I think, are the words of the fable." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"They are so." + +SIR SILAS. + +"What fable?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Tush! don't press him too hard; he wants not wit, but learning." + +SIR SILAS. + +"He wants a rope's-end; and a rope's-end is not enough for him, +unless we throw in the other." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Peradventure he may be an instrument, a potter's clay, a type, a +token. + +"I have seen many young men, and none like unto him. He is shallow +but clear; he is simple, but ingenuous." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Drag the ford again, then. In my mind he is as deep as the big +tankard; and a mouthful of rough burrage will be the beginning and +end of it." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"No fear of that. Neither, if rightly reported by the youngster, is +there so much doctrine in the doctor as we expected. He doth not +dwell upon the main; he is worldly; he is wise in his generation,-- +he says things out of his own head. + +"Silas, that can't hold! We want props--fulcrums, I think you +called 'em to the farmers; or was it stimulums?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"Both very good words." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I should be mightily pleased to hear thee dispute with that great +don." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I hate disputations. Saint Paul warns us against them. If one +wants to be thirsty, the tail of a stockfish is as good for it as +the head of a logician. + +"The doctor there, at Oxford, is in flesh and mettle; but let him be +sleek and gingered as he may, clap me in St. Mary's pulpit, cassock +me, lamb-skin me, give me pink for my colours, glove me to the +elbow, heel-piece me half an ell high, cushion me before and behind, +bring me a mug of mild ale and a rasher of bacon, only just to con +over the text withal; then allow me fair play, and as much of my own +way as he had, and the devil take the hindermost. I am his man at +any time." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I am fain to believe it. Verily, I do think, Silas, thou hast as +much stuff in thee as most men. Our beef and mutton at Charlecote +rear other than babes and sucklings. + +"I like words taken, like thine, from black-letter books. They look +stiff and sterling, and as though a man might dig about 'em for a +week, and never loosen the lightest. + +"Thou hast alway at hand either saint or devil, as occasion needeth, +according to the quality of the sinner, and they never come uncalled +for. Moreover, Master Silas, I have observed that thy hell-fire is +generally lighted up in the pulpit about the dog-days." + +Then turned the worthy knight unto the youth, saying, - + +"'T were well for thee, William Shakspeare, if the learned doctor +had kept thee longer in his house, and had shewn unto thee the +danger of idleness, which hath often led unto deer-stealing and +poetry. In thee we already know the one, although the distemper +hath eaten but skin-deep for the present; and we have the testimony +of two burgesses on the other. The pursuit of poetry, as likewise +of game, is unforbidden to persons of condition." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir, that of game is the more likely to keep them in it." + +SIR THOMAS, + +"It is the more knightly of the two; but poetry hath also her +pursuers among us. I myself, in my youth, had some experience that +way; and I am fain to blush at the reputation I obtained. His +honour, my father, took me to London at the age of twenty; and, +sparing no expense in my education, gave fifty shillings to one +Monsieur Dubois to teach me fencing and poetry, in twenty lessons. +In vacant hours he taught us also the laws of honour, which are +different from ours. + +"In France you are unpolite unless you solicit a judge or his wife +to favour your cause; and you inevitably lose it. In France there +is no want of honour where there is no want of courage; you may lie, +but you must not hear that you lie. I asked him what he thought +then of lying; and he replied, - + +"'C'est selon.' + +"'And suppose you should overhear the whisper?' + +"'Ah, parbleu! Cela m'irrite; cela me pousse au bout.' + +"I was going on to remark that a real man of honour could less bear +to lie than to hear it; when he cried, at the words REAL MAN OF +HONOUR, - + +"'Le voila, Monsieur! le voila!' and gave himself such a blow on the +breast as convinced me the French are a brave people. + +"He told us that nothing but his honour was left him, but that it +supplied the place of all he had lost. It was discovered some time +afterward that M. Dubois had been guilty of perjury, had been a spy, +and had lost nothing but a dozen or two of tin patty-pans, +hereditary in his family, his father having been a cook on his own +account. + +"William, it is well at thy time of life that thou shouldst know the +customs of far countries, particularly if it should be the will of +God to place thee in a company of players. Of all nations in the +world, the French best understand the stage. If thou shouldst ever +write for it, which God forbid, copy them very carefully. Murders +on their stage are quite decorous and cleanly. Few gentlemen and +ladies die by violence who would not have died by exhaustion. 'For +they rant and rave until their voice fails them, one after another; +and those who do not die of it die consumptive. They cannot bear to +see cruelty; they would rather see any image than their own.' These +are not my observations, but were made by Sir Everard Starkeye, who +likewise did remark to Monsieur Dubois, that 'cats, if you hold them +up to the looking-glass, will scratch you terribly; and that the +same fierce animal, as if proud of its cleanly coat and velvety paw, +doth carefully put aside what other animals of more estimation take +no trouble to conceal.' + +"'Our people,' said Sir Everard, 'must see upon the stage what they +never could have imagined; so the best men in the world would +earnestly take a peep of hell through a chink, whereas the worser +would skulk away.' + +"Do not thou be their caterer, William! Avoid the writing of +comedies and tragedies. To make people laugh is uncivil, and to +make people cry is unkind. And what, after all, are these comedies +and these tragedies? They are what, for the benefit of all future +generations, I have myself described them, - + + +'The whimsies of wantons and stories of dread, +That make the stout-hearted look under the bed.' + + +Furthermore, let me warn thee against the same on account of the +vast charges thou must stand at. We Englishmen cannot find it in +our hearts to murder a man without much difficulty, hesitation, and +delay. We have little or no invention for pains and penalties; it +is only our acutest lawyers who have wit enough to frame them. +Therefore it behooveth your tragedy-man to provide a rich assortment +of them, in order to strike the auditor with awe and wonder. And a +tragedy-man, in our country, who cannot afford a fair dozen of +stabbed males, and a trifle under that mark of poisoned females, and +chains enow to moor a whole navy in dock, is but a scurvy fellow at +the best. Thou wilt find trouble in purveying these necessaries; +and then must come the gim-cracks for the second course,--gods, +goddesses, fates, furies, battles, marriages, music, and the +maypole. Hast thou within thee wherewithal?" + +"Sir!" replied Billy, with great modesty, "I am most grateful for +these ripe fruits of your experience. To admit delightful visions +into my own twilight chamber is not dangerous nor forbidden. +Believe me, sir, he who indulges in them will abstain from injuring +his neighbour; he will see no glory in peril, and no delight in +strife. + +"The world shall never be troubled by any battles and marriages of +mine, and I desire no other music and no other maypole than have +lightened my heart at Stratford." + +Sir Thomas, finding him well-conditioned and manageable, proceeded:- + +"Although I have admonished thee of sundry and insurmountable +impediments, yet more are lying in the pathway. We have no verse +for tragedy. One in his hurry hath dropped rhyme, and walketh like +unto the man who wanteth the left-leg stocking. Others can give us +rhyme indeed, but can hold no longer after the tenth or eleventh +syllable. Now Sir Everard Starkeye, who is a pretty poet, did +confess to Monsieur Dubois the potency of the French tragic verse, +which thou never canst hope to bring over. + +"'I wonder, Monsieur Dubois!' said Sir Everard, 'that your +countrymen should have thought it necessary to transport their heavy +artillery into Italy. No Italian could stand a volley of your +heroic verses from the best and biggest pieces. With these brought +into action, you never could have lost the battle of Pavia.' + +"Now my friend Sir Everard is not quite so good a historian as he is +a poet; and Monsieur Dubois took advantage of him. + +"'Pardon! Monsieur Sir Everard!' said Monsieur Dubois, smiling at +my friend's slip, 'We did not lose the battle of Pavia. We had the +misfortune to lose our king, who delivered himself up, as our kings +always do, for the good and glory of his country.' + +"'How was this?' said Sir Everard, in surprise. + +"'I will tell you, Monsieur Sir Everard!' said Monsieur Dubois. 'I +had it from my own father, who fought in the battle, and told my +mother, word for word. + +"'The king seeing his household troops, being only one thousand +strong, surrounded by twelve regiments, the best Spanish troops, +amounting to eighteen thousand four hundred and forty-two, although +he doubted not of victory, yet thought he might lose many brave men +before the close of the day, and rode up instantly to King Charles, +and said, - + +"'"My brother! I am loath to lose so many of those brave men +yonder. Whistle off your Spanish pointers, and I agree to ride home +with you." + +"'And so he did. But what did King Charles? Abusing French +loyalty, he made our Francis his prisoner, would you believe it? and +treated him worse than ever badger was treated at the bottom of any +paltry stable-yard, putting upon his table beer and Rhenish wine and +wild boar.' + +"I have digressed with thee, young man," continued the knight, much +to the improvement of my knowledge, I do reverentially confess, as +it was of the lad's. "We will now," said he, "endeavour our best to +sober thee, finding that Doctor Glaston hath omitted it." + +"Not entirely omitted it," said William, gratefully; "he did after +dinner all that could be done at such a time toward it. The doctor +could, however, speak only of the Greeks and Romans, and certainly +what he said of them gave me but little encouragement." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"What said he?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"He said, 'The Greeks conveyed all their wisdom into their theatre,- +-their stages were churches and parliament-houses; but what was +false prevailed over what was true. They had their own wisdom, the +wisdom of the foolish. Who is Sophocles, if compared to Doctor +Hammersley of Oriel? or Euripides, if compared to Doctor Prichard of +Jesus? Without the Gospel, light is darkness; and with it, children +are giants. + +"'William, I need not expatiate on Greek with thee, since thou +knowest it not, but some crumbs of Latin are picked up by the +callowest beaks. The Romans had, as thou findest, and have still, +more taste for murder than morality, and, as they could not find +heroes among them, looked for gladiators. Their only very high poet +employed his elevation and strength to dethrone and debase the +Deity. They had several others, who polished their language and +pitched their instruments with admirable skill; several who glued +over their thin and flimsy gaberdines many bright feathers from the +widespread downs of Ionia, and the richly cultivated rocks of +Attica. + +"'Some of them have spoken from inspiration; for thou art not to +suppose that from the heathen were withheld all the manifestations +of the Lord. We do agree at Oxford that the Pollio of Virgil is our +Saviour. True, it is the dullest and poorest poem that a nation not +very poetical hath bequeathed unto us; and even the versification, +in which this master excelled, is wanting in fluency and sweetness. +I can only account for it from the weight of the subject. Two +verses, which are fairly worth two hundred such poems, are from +another pagan; he was forced to sigh for the church without knowing +her. He saith, - + + +"May I gaze upon thee when my latest hour is come! +May I hold thy hand when mine faileth me!" + + +This, if adumbrating the church, is the most beautiful thought that +ever issued from the heart of man; but if addressed to a wanton, as +some do opine, is filth from the sink, nauseating and insufferable. + +"'William! that which moveth the heart most is the best poetry; it +comes nearest unto God, the source of all power.'" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Yea; and he appeareth unto me to know more of poetry than of +divinity. Those ancients have little flesh upon the body poetical, +and lack the savour that sufficeth. The Song of Solomon drowns all +their voices: they seem but whistlers and guitar-players compared +to a full-cheeked trumpeter; they standing under the eaves in some +dark lane, he upon a well-caparisoned stallion, tossing his mane and +all his ribbons to the sun. I doubt the doctor spake too fondly of +the Greeks; they were giddy creatures. William, I am loath to be +hard on them; but they please me not. There are those now living +who could make them bite their nails to the quick, and turn green as +grass with envy." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir, one of those Greeks, methinks, thrown into the pickle-pot, +would be a treasure to the housewife's young jerkins." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Simpleton! simpleton! but thou valuest them justly. Now attend. +If ever thou shouldst hear, at Oxford or London, the verses I am +about to repeat, prithee do not communicate them to that fiery +spirit Mat Atterend. It might not be the battle of two hundreds, +but two counties; a sort of York and Lancaster war, whereof I would +wash my hands. Listen!" + +And now did Sir Thomas clear his voice, always high and sonorous, +and did repeat from the stores of his memory these rich and proud +verses, - + + +"'Chloe! mean men must ever make mean loves; +They deal in dog-roses, but I in cloves. +They are just scorch'd enough to blow their fingers; +I am a phoenix downright burnt to cinders.'" + + +At which noble conceits, so far above what poor Bill had ever +imagined, he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and exclaimed, - + +"The world itself must be reduced to that condition before such +glorious verses die! CHLOE and CLOVE! Why, sir! Chloe wants but a +V toward the tail to become the very thing! Never tell me that such +matters can come about of themselves. And how truly is it said that +we mean men deal in dog-roses. + +"Sir, if it were permitted me to swear on that holy Bible, I would +swear I never until this day heard that dog-roses were our +provender; and yet did I, no longer ago than last summer, write, not +indeed upon a dog-rose, but upon a sweet-briar, what would only +serve to rinse the mouth withal after the clove." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Repeat the same, youth. We may haply give thee our counsel +thereupon." + +Willy took heart, and lowering his voice, which hath much natural +mellowness, repeated these from memory:- + + + "My briar that smelledst sweet + When gentle spring's first heat + Ran through thy quiet veins, - + Thou that wouldst injure none, + But wouldst be left alone, - +Alone thou leavest me, and nought of thine remains. + + "What! hath no poet's lyre + O'er thee, sweet-breathing briar, + Hung fondly, ill or well? + And yet methinks with thee + A poet's sympathy, +Whether in weal or woe, in life or death, might dwell. + + "Hard usage both must bear, + Few hands your youth will rear, + Few bosoms cherish you; + Your tender prime must bleed + Ere you are sweet, but freed +From life, you then are prized; thus prized are poets too." + + +Sir Thomas said, with kind encouragement, "He who beginneth so +discreetly with a dog-rose, may hope to encompass a damask-rose ere +he die." + +Willy did now breathe freely. The commendation of a knight and +magistrate worked powerfully within him; and Sir Thomas said +furthermore, - + +"These short matters do not suit me. Thou mightest have added some +moral about life and beauty,--poets never handle roses without one; +but thou art young, and mayest get into the train." + +Willy made the best excuse he could; and no bad one it was, the +knight acknowledged; namely, that the sweet-briar was not really +dead, although left for dead. + +"Then," said Sir Thomas, "as life and beauty would not serve thy +turn, thou mightest have had full enjoyment of the beggar, the +wayside, the thieves, and the good Samaritan,--enough to tapestry +the bridal chamber of an empress." + +William bowed respectfully, and sighed. + +"Ha! thou hast lost them, sure enough, and it may not be quite so +fair to smile at thy quandary," quoth Sir Thomas. + +"I did my best the first time," said Willy, "and fell short the +second." + +"That, indeed, thou must have done," said Sir Thomas. "It is a +grievous disappointment, in the midst of our lamentations for the +dead, to find ourselves balked. I am curious to see how thou +couldst help thyself. Don't be abashed; I am ready for even worse +than the last." + +Bill hesitated, but obeyed:- + + + "And art thou yet alive? + And shall the happy hive + Send out her youth to cull + Thy sweets of leaf and flower, + And spend the sunny hour +With thee, and thy faint heart with murmuring music lull? + + "Tell me what tender care, + Tell me what pious prayer, + Bade thee arise and live. + The fondest-favoured bee + Shall whisper nought to thee +More loving than the song my grateful muse shall give." + + +Sir Thomas looked somewhat less pleased at the conclusion of these +verses than at the conclusion of the former, and said, gravely, - + +"Young man! methinks it is betimes that thou talkest of having a +muse to thyself; or even in common with others. It is only great +poets who have muses; I mean to say who have the right to talk in +that fashion. The French, I hear, Phoebus it and muse-me it right +and left; and boggle not to throw all nine, together with mother and +master, into the compass of a dozen lines or thereabout. And your +Italian can hardly do without 'em in the multiplication-table. We +Englishmen do let them in quietly, shut the door, and say nothing of +what passes. I have read a whole book of comedies, and ne'er a muse +to help the lamest." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Wonderful forbearance! I marvel how the poet could get through." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"By God's help. And I think we did as well without 'em; for it must +be an unabashable man that ever shook his sides in their company. +They lay heavy restraint both upon laughing and crying. In the +great master Virgil of Rome, they tell me they come in to count the +ships, and having cast up the sum total, and proved it, make off +again. Sure token of two things,--first, that he held 'em dog- +cheap; secondly, that he had made but little progress (for a Lombard +born) in book-keeping at double entry. + +"He, and every other great genius, began with small subject-matters, +gnats and the like. I myself, similar unto him, wrote upon fruit. +I would give thee some copies for thy copying, if I thought thou +wouldst use them temperately, and not render them common, as hath +befallen the poetry of some among the brightest geniuses. I could +shew thee how to say new things, and how to time the same. Before +my day, nearly all the flowers and fruits had been gathered by +poets, old and young, FROM THE CEDAR OF LEBANON TO THE HYSSOP ON THE +WALL; roses went up to Solomon, apples to Adam, and so forth. + +"Willy! my brave lad! I was the first that ever handled a quince, +I'll be sworn. + +"Hearken! + + +"Chloe! I would not have thee wince +That I unto thee send a quince. +I would not have thee say unto 't +BEGONE! and trample 't underfoot, +For, trust me, 't is no fulsome fruit. +It came not out of mine own garden, +But all the way from Henly in Arden, - +Of an uncommon fine old tree, +Belonging to John Asbury. +And if that of it thou shalt eat, +'Twill make thy breath e'en yet more sweet; +As a translation here doth shew, +ON FRUIT-TREES, BY JEAN MIRABEAU. +The frontispiece is printed so. +But eat it with some wine and cake, +Or it may give the belly-ache. {153a} +This doth my worthy clerk indite, +I sign, +SIR THOMAS LUCY, Knight." + + +"Now, Willy, there is not one poet or lover in twenty who careth for +consequences. Many hint to the lady what to do, few what not to do +although it would oftentimes, as in this case, go to one's heart to +see the upshot." + +"Ah, sir," said Bill, in all humility, "I would make bold to put the +parings of that quince under my pillow, for sweet dreams and +insights, if Doctor Glaston had given me encouragement to continue +the pursuit of poetry. Of a surety it would bless me with a bedful +of churches and crucifixions, duly adumbrated." + +Whereat Sir Thomas, shaking his head, did inform him, - + +"It was in the golden age of the world, as pagans call it, that +poets of condition sent fruits and flowers to their beloved, with +posies fairly penned. We, in our days, have done the like. But +manners of late are much corrupted on the one side, if not on both. + +"Willy! it hath been whispered that there be those who would rather +have a piece of brocade or velvet for a stomacher than the +touchingest copy of verses, with a bleeding heart at the bottom." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Incredible!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"'T is even so!" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"They must surely be rotten fragments of the world before the +flood,--saved out of it by the devil." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I am not of that mind. + +"Their eyes, mayhap, fell upon some of the bravery cast ashore from +the Spanish Armada. In ancienter days, a few pages of good poetry +outvalued a whole ell of the finest Genoa." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"When will such days return?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"It is only within these few years that corruption and avarice have +made such ghastly strides. They always did exist, but were gentler. + +"My youth is waning, and has been nigh upon these seven years, I +being now in my forty-eighth." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I have understood that the god of poetry is in the enjoyment of +eternal youth; I was ignorant that his sons were." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"No, child! we are hale and comely, but must go the way of all +flesh." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Must it, can it, be?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Time was, my smallest gifts were acceptable, as thus recorded:- + + +"From my fair hand, O will ye, will ye +Deign humbly to accept a gilly- + Flower for thy bosom, sugared maid! + +"Scarce had I said it ere she took it, +And in a twinkling, faith! had stuck it, + Where e'en proud knighthood might have laid." + + +William was now quite unable to contain himself, and seemed utterly +to have forgotten the grievous charge against him; to such a pitch +did his joy o'erleap his jeopardy. + +Master Silas in the meantime was much disquieted; and first did he +strip away all the white feather from every pen in the inkpot, and +then did he mend them, one and all, and then did he slit them with +his thumb-nail, and then did he pare and slash away at them again +and then did he cut off the tops, until at last he left upon them +neither nib nor plume, nor enough of the middle to serve as quill to +a virginal. It went to my heart to see such a power of pens so +wasted; there could not be fewer than five. Sir Thomas was less +wary than usual, being overjoyed. For great poets do mightly affect +to have little poets under them; and little poets do forget +themselves in great company, as fiddlers do, who HAIL FELLOW WELL +MET even with lords. + +Sir Thomas did not interrupt our Bill's wild gladness. I never +thought so worshipful a personage could bear so much. At last he +said unto the lad, - + +"I do bethink me, if thou hearest much more of my poetry, and the +success attendant thereon, good Doctor Glaston would tear thy skirt +off ere he could drag thee back from the occupation." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I fear me, for once, all his wisdom would sluice out in vain." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"It was reported to me that when our virgin queen's highness (her +Dear Dread's {157a} ear not being then poisoned) heard these verses, +she said before her courtiers, to the sore travail of some, and +heart's content of others, - + +"'We need not envy our young cousin James of Scotland his ass's bite +of a thistle, having such flowers as these gillyflowers on the +chimney-stacks of Charlecote.' + +"I could have told her highness that all this poetry, from beginning +to end, was real matter of fact, well and truly spoken by mine own +self. I had only to harness the rhymes thereunto, at my leisure." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"None could ever doubt it. Greeks and Trojans may fight for the +quince; neither shall have it + + +While a Warwickshire lad +Is on earth to be had, +With a wand to wag +On a trusty nag, +He shall keep the lists +With cudgel or fists. +And black shall be whose eye +Looks evil on Lucy." + + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Nay, nay, nay! do not trespass too soon upon heroics. Thou seest +thou canst not hold thy wind beyond eight lines. What wouldst thou +do under the heavy mettle that should have wrought such wonders at +Pavia, if thou findest these petards so troublesome in discharging? +Surely, the good doctor, had he entered at large on the subject, +would have been very particular in urging this expostulation." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Sir, to my mortification I must confess that I took to myself the +counsel he was giving to another; a young gentleman who, from his +pale face, his abstinence at table, his cough, his taciturnity, and +his gentleness, seemed already more than half poet. To him did +Doctor Glaston urge, with all his zeal and judgment, many arguments +against the vocation; telling him that, even in college, he had few +applauders, being the first, and not the second or third, who always +are more fortunate; reminding him that he must solicit and obtain +much interest with men of rank and quality, before he could expect +their favour; and that without it the vein chilled, the nerve +relaxed, and the poet was left at next door to the bellman. 'In the +coldness of the world,' said he, 'in the absence of ready friends +and adherents, to light thee upstairs to the richly tapestried +chamber of the muses, thy spirits will abandon thee, thy heart will +sicken and swell within thee; overladen, thou wilt make, O +Ethelbert! a slow and painful progress, and ere the door open, sink. +Praise giveth weight unto the wanting, and happiness giveth +elasticity unto the heavy. As the mightiest streams of the +unexplored world, America, run languidly in the night, {159a} and +await the sun on high to contend with him in strength and grandeur, +so doth genius halt and pause in the thraldom of outspread darkness, +and move onward with all his vigour then only when creative light +and jubilant warmth surround him.' + +"Ethelbert coughed faintly; a tinge of red, the size of a rose-bud, +coloured the middle of his cheek; and yet he seemed not to be pained +by the reproof. He looked fondly and affectionately at his teacher, +who thus proceeded: + +"'My dear youth, do not carry the stone of Sisyphus on thy shoulder +to pave the way to disappointment. If thou writest but indifferent +poetry none will envy thee, and some will praise thee; but nature, +in her malignity, hath denied unto thee a capacity for the enjoyment +of such praise. In this she hath been kinder to most others than to +thee; we know wherein she hath been kinder to thee than to most +others. If thou writest good poetry many will call it flat, many +will call it obscure, many will call it inharmonious; and some of +these will speak as they think; for, as in giving a feast to great +numbers, it is easier to possess the wine than to procure the cups, +so happens it in poetry; thou hast the beverage of thy own growth, +but canst not find the recipients. What is simple and elegant to +thee and me, to many an honest man is flat and sterile; what to us +is an innocently sly allusion, to as worthy a one as either of us is +dull obscurity; and that moreover which swims upon our brain, and +which throbs against our temples, and which we delight in sounding +to ourselves when the voice has done with it, touches their ear, and +awakens no harmony in any cell of it. Rivals will run up to thee +and call thee a plagiary, and, rather than that proof should be +wanting, similar words to some of thine will be thrown in thy teeth +out of Leviticus and Deuteronomy. + +"'Do you desire calm studies? Do you desire high thoughts? +Penetrate into theology. What is nobler than to dissect and discern +the opinions of the gravest men upon the subtlest matters? And what +glorious victories are those over Infidelity and Scepticism! How +much loftier, how much more lasting in their effects, than such as +ye are invited unto by what this ingenious youth hath contemptuously +and truly called + + +"The swaggering drum, and trumpet hoarse with rage." + + +And what a delightful and edifying sight it is, to see hundreds of +the most able doctors, all stripped for the combat, each closing +with his antagonist, and tugging and tearing, tooth and nail, to lay +down and establish truths which have been floating in the air for +ages, and which the lower order of mortals are forbidden to see, and +commanded to embrace. And then the shouts of victory! And then the +crowns of amaranth held over their heads by the applauding angels! +Besides, these combats have other great and distinct advantages. +Whereas, in the carnal, the longer ye contend the more blows do ye +receive; in these against Satan, the more fiercely and +pertinaciously ye drive at him, the slacker do ye find him; every +good hit makes him redden and rave with anger, but diminishes its +effect. + +"'My dear friends, who would not enter a service in which he may +give blows to his mortal enemy, and receive none; and in which not +only the eternal gain is incalculable, but also the temporal, at +four-and-twenty, may be far above the emolument of generals, who, +before the priest was born, had bled profusely for their country, +established her security, brightened her glory, and augmented her +dominions?'" + +At this pause did Sir Thomas turn unto Sir Silas, and asked, - + +"What sayest thou, Silas?" + +Whereupon did Sir Silas make answer, - + +"I say it is so, and was so, and should be so, and shall be so. If +the queen's brother had not sopped the priests and bishops out of +the Catholic cup, they could have held the Catholic cup in their own +hands, instead of yielding it into his. They earned their money; if +they sold their consciences for it, the business is theirs, not +ours. I call this facing the devil with a vengeance. We have their +coats; no matter who made 'em,--we have 'em, I say, and we will wear +'em; and not a button, tag, or tassel, shall any man tear away." + +Sir Thomas then turned to Willy, and requested him to proceed with +the doctor's discourse, who thereupon continued:- + +"'Within your own recollections, how many good, quiet, inoffensive +men, unendowed with any extraordinary abilities, have been enabled, +by means of divinity, to enjoy a long life in tranquillity and +affluence?' + +"Whereupon did one of the young gentlemen smile, and, on small +encouragement from Doctor Glaston to enounce the cause thereof, he +repeated these verses, which he gave afterward unto me:- + + + "'In the names on our books + Was standing Tom Flooke's, +Who took in due time his degrees; + Which when he had taken, + Like Ascham or Bacon, +By night he could snore and by day he could sneeze. + + "'Calm, pithy, pragmatical, {164a} + Tom Flooke he could at a call +Rise up like a hound from his sleep; + And if many a quarto + He gave not his heart to, +If pellucid in lore, in his cups he was deep. + + "'He never did harm, + And his heart might be warm, +For his doublet most certainly was so; + And now has Torn Flooke + A quieter nook +Than ever had Spenser or Tasso. + + "'He lives in his house, + As still as a mouse, +Until he has eaten his dinner; + But then doth his nose + Outroar all the woes +That encompass the death of a sinner. + + "'And there oft has been seen + No less than a dean +To tarry a week in the parish, + In October and March, + When deans are less starch, +And days are less gleamy and garish. + + "'That Sunday Tom's eyes + Look'd always more wise, +He repeated more often his text; + Two leaves stuck together, + (The fault of the weather) +And . . . THE REST YE SHALL HEAR IN MY NEXT. + + "'At mess he lost quite + His small appetite, +By losing his friend the good dean; + The cook's sight must fail her! + The eggs sure are staler! +The beef, too!--why, what can it mean? + + "'He turned off the butcher, + To the cook could he clutch her, +What his choler had done there's no saying - + 'T is verily said + He smote low the cock's head, +And took other pullets for laying.' + + +"On this being concluded, Doctor Glaston said he shrewdly suspected +an indigestion on the part of Mr. Thomas Flooke, caused by sitting +up late and studying hard with Mr. Dean; and he protested that +theology itself should not carry us into the rawness of the morning +air, particularly in such critical months as March and October, in +one of which the sap rises, in the other sinks, and there are many +stars very sinister." + +Sir Thomas shook his head, and declared he would not be uncharitable +to rector, or dean, or doctor, but that certain surmises swam +uppermost. He then winked at Master Silas, who said, incontinently, +- + +"You have it, Sir Thomas! The blind buzzards! with their stars and +saps!" + +"Well, but Silas! you yourself have told us over and over again, in +church, that there are arcana." + +"So there are,--I uphold it," replied Master Silas; "but a fig for +the greater part, and a fig-leaf for the rest. As for these signs, +they are as plain as any page in the Revelation." + +Sir Thomas, after short pondering, said, scoffingly, - + +"In regard to the rawness of the air having any effect whatsoever on +those who discourse orthodoxically on theology, it is quite as +absurd as to imagine that a man ever caught cold in a Protestant +church. I am rather of opinion that it was a judgment on the rector +for his evil-mindedness toward the cook, the Lord foreknowing that +he was about to be wilful and vengeful in that quarter. It was, +however, more advisedly that he took other pullets, on his own view +of the case, although it might be that the same pullets would suit +him again as well as ever, when his appetite should return; for it +doth not appear that they were loath to lay, but laid somewhat +unsatisfactorily. + +"Now, youth," continued his worship, "if in our clemency we should +spare thy life, study this higher elegiacal strain which thou hast +carried with thee from Oxford; it containeth, over and above an +unusual store of biography, much sound moral doctrine, for those who +are heedful in the weighing of it. And what can be more affecting +than - + + + 'At mess he lost quite + His small appetite, +By losing his friend the good dean'? + + +And what an insight into character! Store it up; store it up! +SMALL APPETITE, particular; GOOD DEAN, generick." + +Hereupon did Master Silas jerk me with his indicative joint, the +elbow to wit, and did say in my ear, - + +"He means DEANERY. Give me one of those bones so full of marrow, +and let my lord bishop have all the meat over it, and welcome. If a +dean is not on his stilts, he is not on his stumps; he stands on his +own ground; he is a noli-metangeretarian." + +"What art thou saying of those sectaries, good Master Silas?" quoth +Sir Thomas, not hearing him distinctly. + +"I was talking of the dean," replied Master Silas. "He was the very +dean who wrote and sang that song called the Two Jacks." + +"Hast it?" asked he. + +Master Silas shook his head, and, trying in vain to recollect it, +said at last, - + +"After dinner it sometimes pops out of a filbert-shell in a crack; +and I have known it float on the first glass of Herefordshire cider; +it also hath some affinity with very stiff and old bottled beer; but +in a morning it seemeth unto me like a remnant of over-night." + +"Our memory waneth, Master Silas!" quoth Sir Thomas, looking +seriously. "If thou couldst repeat it, without the grimace of +singing, it were not ill." + +Master Silas struck the table with his fist, and repeated the first +stave angrily; but in the second he forgot the admonition of Sir +Thomas, and did sing outright, - + + + "Jack Calvin and Jack Cade, + Two gentles of one trade, + Two tinkers, + Very gladly would pull down + Mother Church and Father Crown, + And would starve or would drown + Right thinkers. + + "Honest man! honest man! + Fill the can, fill the can, +They are coming! they are coming! they are coming! + If any drop be left, + It might tempt 'em to a theft - +Zooks! it was only the ale that was humming." + + +"In the first stave, gramercy! there is an awful verity," quoth Sir +Thomas; "but I wonder that a dean should let his skewer slip out, +and his fat catch fire so wofully, in the second. Light stuff, +Silas, fit only for ale-houses." + +Master Silas was nettled in the nose, and answered, - + +"Let me see the man in Warwickshire, and in all the counties round, +who can run at such a rate with so light a feather in the palm of +his hand. I am no poet, thank God! but I know what folks can do, +and what folks cannot do." + +"Well, Silas," replied Sir Thomas, "after thy thanksgiving for being +no poet, let us have the rest of the piece." + +"The rest!" quoth Master Silas. "When the ale hath done with its +humming, it is time, methinks, to dismiss it. Sir, there never was +any more; you might as well ask for more after Amen or the see of +Canterbury." + +Sir Thomas was dissatisfied, and turned off the discourse; and +peradventure he grew more inclined to be gracious unto Willy from +the slight rub his chaplain had given him, were it only for the +contrariety. When he had collected his thoughts he was determined +to assert his supremacy on the score of poetry. + +"Deans, I perceive, like other quality," said he, "cannot run on +long together. My friend, Sir Everard Starkeye, could never +overleap four bars. I remember but one composition of his, on a +young lady who mocked at his inconsistency, in calling her sometimes +his Grace and at other times his Muse. + + +'My Grace shall Fanny Carew be, + While here she deigns to stay; +And (ah, how sad the change for me!) + My Muse when far away!' + + +And when we laughed at him for turning his back upon her after the +fourth verse, all he could say for himself was, that he would rather +a game at ALL FOURS with Fanny, than OMBRE and PICQUET with the +finest furbelows in Christendom. Men of condition do usually want a +belt in the course." + +Whereunto said Master Silas, - + +"Men out of condition are quite as liable to lack it, methinks." + +"Silas! Silas!" replied the knight, impatiently, "prithee keep to +thy divinity, thy strong hold upon Zion; thence none that faces thee +can draw thee without being bitten to the bone. Leave poetry to +me." + +"With all my heart," quoth Master Silas, "I will never ask a belt +from her, until I see she can afford to give a shirt. She has +promised a belt, indeed,--not one, however, that doth much improve +the wind,--to this lad here, and will keep her word; but she was +forced to borrow the pattern from a Carthusian friar, and somehow it +slips above the shoulder." + +"I am by no means sure of that," quoth Sir Thomas. "He shall have +fair play. He carrieth in his mind many valuable things, whereof it +hath pleased Providence to ordain him the depository. He hath laid +before us certain sprigs of poetry from Oxford, trim as pennyroyal, +and larger leaves of household divinity, the most mildly-savoured,-- +pleasant in health and wholesome in sickness." + +"I relish not such mutton-broth divinity," said Master Silas. "It +makes me sick in order to settle my stomach." + +"We may improve it," said the knight, "but first let us hear more." + +Then did William Shakspeare resume Dr. Glaston's discourse. + +"'Ethelbert! I think thou walkest but little; otherwise I should +take thee with me, some fine fresh morning, as far as unto the first +hamlet on the Cherwell. There lies young Wellerby, who, the year +before, was wont to pass many hours of the day poetising amid the +ruins of Godstow nunnery. It is said that he bore a fondness toward +a young maiden in that place, formerly a village, now containing but +two old farm-houses. In my memory there were still extant several +dormitories. Some love-sick girl had recollected an ancient name, +and had engraven on a stone with a garden-nail, which lay in rust +near it, - + + +"POORE ROSAMUND." + + +I entered these precincts, and beheld a youth of manly form and +countenance, washing and wiping a stone with a handful of wet grass; +and on my going up to him, and asking what he had found, he shewed +it to me. The next time I saw him was near the banks of the +Cherwell. He had tried, it appears, to forget or overcome his +foolish passion, and had applied his whole mind unto study. He was +foiled by his competitor; and now he sought consolation in poetry. +Whether this opened the wounds that had closed in his youthful +breast, and malignant Love, in his revenge, poisoned it; or whether +the disappointment he had experienced in finding others preferred to +him, first in the paths of fortune, then in those of the muses,--he +was thought to have died broken-hearted. + +"'About half a mile from St. John's College is the termination of a +natural terrace, with the Cherwell close under it, in some places +bright with yellow and red flowers glancing and glowing through the +stream, and suddenly in others dark with the shadows of many +different trees, in broad, overbending thickets, and with rushes +spear-high, and party-coloured flags. + +"'After a walk in Midsummer, the emersion of our hands into the cool +and closing grass is surely not the least among our animal delights. +I was just seated, and the first sensation of rest vibrated in me +gently, as though it were music to the limbs, when I discovered by a +hollow in the herbage that another was near. The long meadow-sweet +and blooming burnet half concealed from me him whom the earth was +about to hide totally and for ever. + +"'Master Batchelor,' said I, 'it is ill-sleeping by the water-side.' + +"'No answer was returned. I arose, went to the place, and +recognised poor Wellerby. His brow was moist, his cheek was warm. +A few moments earlier, and that dismal lake whereunto and wherefrom +the waters of life, the buoyant blood, ran no longer, might have +received one vivifying ray reflected from my poor casement. I might +not indeed have comforted--I have often failed; but there is one who +never has; and the strengthener of the bruised reed should have been +with us. + +"'Remembering that his mother did abide one mile further on, I +walked forward to the mansion, and asked her what tidings she lately +had received of her son. She replied that, having given up his mind +to light studies, the fellows of the college would not elect him. +The master had warned him beforehand to abandon his selfish poetry, +take up manfully the quarterstaff of logic, and wield it for St. +John's, come who would into the ring. "'We want our man,'" said he +to me, "'and your son hath failed us in the hour of need. Madam, he +hath been foully beaten in the schools by one he might have +swallowed, with due exercise.'" + +"'"I rated him, told him I was poor, and he knew it. He was stung, +and threw himself upon my neck, and wept. Twelve days have passed +since, and only three rainy ones. I hear he has been seen upon the +knoll yonder; but hither he hath not come. I trust he knows at last +the value of time, and I shall be heartily glad to see him after +this accession of knowledge. Twelve days, it is true, are rather a +chink than a gap in time; yet, O gentle sir, they are that chink +which makes the vase quite valueless. There are light words which +may never be shaken off the mind they fall on. My child, who was +hurt by me, will not let me see the marks." + +"'"Lady," said I, "none are left upon him. Be comforted! thou shalt +see him this hour. All that thy God hath not taken is yet thine." +She looked at me earnestly, and would have then asked something, but +her voice failed her. There was no agony, no motion, save in the +lips and cheeks. Being the widow of one who fought under Hawkins, +she remembered his courage and sustained the shock, saying calmly, +"God's will be done! I pray that he find me as worthy as he findeth +me willing to join them." + +"'Now, in her unearthly thoughts she had led her only son to the +bosom of her husband; and in her spirit (which often is permitted to +pass the gates of death with holy love) she left them both with +their Creator. + +"'The curate of the village sent those who should bring home the +body; and some days afterward he came unto me, beseeching me to +write the epitaph. Being no friend to stonecutters' charges, I +entered not into biography, but wrote these few words:- + + +JOANNES WELLERBY, +LITERARUM QUAESIVIT GLORIAM, +VIDET DEI.'" + + +"Poor tack! poor tack!" sourly quoth Master Silas. "If your wise +doctor could say nothing more about the fool, who died like a rotten +sheep among the darnels, his Latin might have held out for the +father, and might have told people he was as cool as a cucumber at +home, and as hot as pepper in battle. Could he not find room enough +on the whinstone, to tell the folks of the village how he played the +devil among the dons, burning their fingers when they would put +thumbscrews upon us, punching them in the weasand as a blacksmith +punches a horse-shoe, and throwing them overboard like bilgewater? + +"Has Oxford lost all her Latin? Here is no capitani filius; no more +mention of family than a Welchman would have allowed him; no hic +jacet; and, worse than all, the devil a tittle of spe redemptionis, +or anno Domini." + +"Willy!" quoth Sir Thomas, "I shrewdly do suspect there was more, +and that thou hast forgotten it." + +"Sir!" answered Willy, "I wrote not down the words, fearing to mis- +spell them, and begged them of the doctor, when I took my leave of +him on the morrow; and verily he wrote down all he had repeated. I +keep them always in the tin-box in my waistcoat-pocket, among the +eel-hooks, on a scrap of paper a finger's length and breadth, folded +in the middle to fit. And when the eels are running, I often take +it out and read it before I am aware. I could as soon forget my own +epitaph as this." + +"Simpleton!" said Sir Thomas, with his gentle, compassionate smile; +"but thou hast cleared thyself." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I think the doctor gave one idle chap as much solid pudding as he +could digest, with a slice to spare for another." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"And yet after this pudding the doctor gave him a spoonful of +custard, flavoured with a little bitter, which was mostly left at +the bottom for the other idle chap." + +Sir Thomas not only did endure this very goodnaturedly, but deigned +even to take in good part the smile upon my countenance, as though +he were a smile collector, and as though his estate were so humble +that he could hold his laced bonnet (in all his bravery) for bear +and fiddle. + +He then said unto Willy, + +"Place likewise this custard before us." + +"There is but little of it; the platter is shallow," replied he; "'t +was suited to Master Ethelbert's appetite. The contents were these: + +"'The things whereon thy whole soul brooded in its innermost +recesses, and with all its warmth and energy, will pass unprized and +unregarded, not only throughout thy lifetime but long after. For +the higher beauties of poetry are beyond the capacity, beyond the +vision of almost all. Once perhaps in half a century a single star +is discovered, then named and registered, then mentioned by five +studious men to five more; at last some twenty say, or repeat in +writing, what they have heard about it. Other stars await other +discoveries. Few and solitary and wide asunder are those who +calculate their relative distances, their mysterious influences, +their glorious magnitude, and their stupendous height. 'T is so, +believe me, and ever was so, with the truest and best poetry. +Homer, they say, was blind; he might have been ere he died,--that he +sat among the blind, we are sure. + +"'Happy they who, like this young lad from Stratford, write poetry +on the saddle-bow when their geldings are jaded, and keep the desk +for better purposes.' + +"The young gentlemen, like the elderly, all turned their faces +toward me, to my confusion, so much did I remark of sneer and scoff +at my cost. Master Ethelbert was the only one who spared me. He +smiled and said, - + +"'Be patient! From the higher heavens of poetry, it is long before +the radiance of the brightest star can reach the world below. We +hear that one man finds out one beauty, another man finds out +another, placing his observatory and instruments on the poet's +grave. The worms must have eaten us before it is rightly known what +we are. It is only when we are skeletons that we are boxed and +ticketed, and prized and shewn. Be it so! I shall not be tired of +waiting.'" + +"Reasonable youth!" said Sir Thomas; "yet both he and Glaston walk +rather A-STRADDLE, methinks. They might have stepped up to thee +more straightforwardly, and told thee the trade ill suiteth thee, +having little fire, little fantasy, and little learning. +Furthermore, that one poet, as one bull, sufficeth for two parishes, +and that where they are stuck too close together they are apt to +fire, like haystacks. I have known it myself; I have had my +malignants and scoffers." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I never could have thought it!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"There again! Another proof of thy inexperience." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Mat Atterend! Mat Atterend! where wert thou sleeping?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I shall now from my own stores impart unto thee what will avail to +tame thee, shewing the utter hopelessness of standing on that golden +weathercock which supporteth but one at a time. + +"The passion for poetry wherewith Monsieur Dubois would have +inspired me, as he was bound to do, being paid beforehand, had cold +water thrown upon it by that unlucky one, Sir Everard. He ridiculed +the idea of male and female rhymes, and the necessity of trying them +as rigidly by the eye as by the ear,--saying to Monsieur Dubois that +the palate, in which the French excel all mortals, ought also to be +consulted in their acceptance or rejection. Monsieur Dubois told us +that if we did not wish to be taught French verse, he would teach us +English. Sir Everard preferred the Greek; but Monsieur Dubois would +not engage to teach the mysteries of that poetry in fewer than +thirty lessons,--having (since his misfortunes) forgotten the +letters and some other necessaries. + +"The first poem I ever wrote was in the character of a shepherd, to +Mistress Anne Nanfan, daughter of Squire Fulke Nanfan, of +Worcestershire, at that time on a visit to the worshipful family of +Compton at Long Compton. + +"We were young creatures,--I but twenty-four and seven months (for +it was written on the 14th of May), and she well-nigh upon a twelve- +month younger. My own verses, the first, are neither here nor +there; indeed, they were imbedded in solid prose, like lampreys and +ram's-horns {181a} in our limestone, and would be hard to get out +whole. What they are may be seen by her answer, all in verse:- + + +"'Faithful shepherd! dearest Tommy! +I have received the letter from ye, + And mightily delight therein. +But mother, SHE says, "Nanny! Nanny! +HOW, BEING STAID AND PRUDENT, CAN YE + THINK OF A MAN AND NOT OF SIN?" + +"Sir shepherd! I held down my head, +And "MOTHER! FIE, FOR SHAME!" I said; + All I could say would not content her; +Mother she would for ever harp on't, +"A MAN'S NO BETTER THAN A SARPENT, + AND NOT A CRUMB MORE INNOCENTER."' + + +"I know not how it happeneth; but a poet doth open before a poet, +albeit of baser sort. It is not that I hold my poetry to be better +than some other in time past, it is because I would shew thee that I +was virtuous and wooed virtuously, that I repeat it. Furthermore, I +wished to leave a deep impression on the mother's mind that she was +exceedingly wrong in doubting my innocence. + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Gracious Heaven! and was this too doubted?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Maybe not; but the whole race of men, the whole male sex, wanted +and found in me a protector. I shewed her what I was ready to do." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"Perhaps, sir, it was for that very thing that she put the daughter +back and herself forward." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I say not so; but thou mayest know as much as befitteth, by what +follows:- + + +"'Worshipful lady! honoured madam! +I at this present truly glad am + To have so fair an opportunity +Of saying I would be the man +To bind in wedlock Mistress Anne, + Living with her in holy unity. + +"'And for a jointure I will gi'e her +A good two hundred pounds a year + Accruing from my landed rents, +Whereof see t'other paper, telling +Lands, copses, and grown woods for felling, + Capons, and cottage tenements. + +"'And who must come at sound of horn, +And who pays but a barley-corn, + And who is bound to keep a whelp, +And what is brought me for the pound, +And copyholders, which are sound, + And which do need the leech's help. + +"'And you may see in these two pages +Exact their illnesses and ages, + Enough (God willing) to content ye; +Who looks full red, who looks full yellow, +Who plies the mullen, who the mallow, + Who fails at fifty, who at twenty. + +"'Jim Yates must go; he's one day very hot, +And one day ice; I take a heriot; + And poorly, poorly's Jacob Burgess. +The doctor tells me he has pour'd +Into his stomach half his hoard + Of anthelminticals and purges. + +"'Judith, the wife of Ebenezer +Fillpots, won't have him long to tease her; + Fillpots blows hot and cold like Jim, +And, sleepless lest the boys should plunder +His orchard, he must soon knock under; + Death has been looking out for him. + +"'He blusters; but his good yard land +Under the church, his ale-house, and + His Bible, which he cut in spite, +Must all fall in; he stamps and swears +And sets his neighbours by the ears - + Fillpots, thy saddle sits not tight!' + + +"The epitaph is ready:- + + + 'HERE +LIES ONE WHOM ALL HIS FRIENDS DID FEAR + MORE THAN THEY EVER FEARED THE LORD; +IN PEACE HE WAS AT TIMES A CHRISTIAN; +IN STRIFE, WHAT STUBBORNER PHILISTINE! + SING, SING HIS PSALM WITH ONE ACCORD. + + +"'And he who lent my lord his wife +Has but a very ticklish life; + Although she won him many a hundred, +'T won't do; none comes with briefs and wills, +And all her gainings are gilt pills + From the sick madman that she plundered. + +"'And the brave lad who sent the bluff +Olive-faced Frenchman (sure enough) + Screaming and scouring like a plover, +Must follow--him I mean who dash'd +Into the water and then thrash'd + The cullion past the town of Dover. + +"'But first there goes the blear old dame +Who nurs'd me; you have heard her name, + No doubt, at Compton, Sarah Salways; +There are twelve groats at once, beside +The frying-pan in which she fried + Her pancakes. + Madam, I am always, etc., + Sir THOMAS LUCY, Knight.' + + +"I did believe that such a clear and conscientious exposure of my +affairs would have brought me a like return. My letter was sent +back to me with small courtesy. It may be there was no paper in the +house, or none equalling mine in whiteness. No notice was taken of +the rent-roll; but between the second and third stanza these four +lines were written, in a very fine hand:- + + +"'Most honour'd knight, Sir Thomas! two +For merry Nan will never do; +Now under favour let me say 't, +She will bring more herself than that.' + + +I have reason to believe that the worthy lady did neither write nor +countenance the same, perhaps did not ever know of them. She always +had at her elbow one who jogged it when he listed, and although he +could not overrule the daughter, he took especial care that none +other should remove her from his tutelage, even when she had fairly +grown up to woman's estate. + +"Now, after all this condescension and confidence, promise me, good +lad, promise that thou wilt not edge and elbow me. Never let it be +said, when people say, SIR THOMAS WAS A POET WHEN HE WILL EDIT,--SO +IS BILL SHAKSPEARE! It beseemeth not that our names do go together +cheek by jowl in this familiar fashion, like an old beagle and a +whelp, in couples, where if the one would, the other would not." + +SIR SILAS. + +"Sir, while these thoughts are passing in your mind, remember there +is another pair of couples out of which it would be as well to keep +the cur's neck." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Young man! dost thou understand Master Silas?" + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"But too well. Not those couples in which it might be apprehended +that your worship and my unworthiness should appear too close +together; but those sorrowfuller which peradventure might unite +Master Silas and me in our road to Warwick and upwards. But I +resign all right and title unto these as willingly as I did unto the +other, and am as ready to let him go alone." + +SIR SILAS. + +"If we keep wheeling and wheeling, like a flock of pigeons, and +rising again when we are within a foot of the ground, we shall never +fill the craw." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Do thou then question him, Silas." + +SIR SILAS. + +"I am none of the quorum; the business is none of mine." + +Then Sir Thomas took Master Silas again into the bay window, and +said softly, - + +"Silas, he hath no inkling of thy meaning. The business is a +ticklish one. I like not overmuch to meddle and make therein." + +Master Silas stood dissatisfied awhile, and then answered, - + +"The girl's mother, sir, was housemaid and sempstress in your own +family, time back, and you thereby have a right over her unto the +third and fourth generation." + +"I may have, Silas," said his worship, "but it was no longer than +four or five years agone that folks were fain to speak maliciously +of me for only finding my horse in her hovel." + +Sir Silas looked red and shiny as a ripe strawberry on a +Snitterfield tile, and answered somewhat peevishly, - + +"The same folks, I misgive me, may find the rogue's there any night +in the week." + +Whereunto replied Sir Thomas, mortifiedly, + +"I cannot think it, Silas! I cannot think it." + +And after some hesitation and disquiet, - + +"Nay, I am resolved I will not think it; no man, friend or enemy, +shall push it into me." + +"Worshipful sir," answered Master Silas, "I am as resolute as any +one in what I would think and what I would not think, and never was +known to fight dunghill in either cockpit. + +"Were he only out of the way, she might do duty, but what doth she +now? + +"She points his young beard for him; persuading him it grows thicker +and thicker, blacker and blacker; she washes his ruff, stiffens it, +plaits it, tries it upon his neck, removes the hair from under it, +pinches it with thumb and fore-finger, pretending that he hath +moiled it, puts her hand all the way round it, SETTING IT TO RIGHTS, +as she calleth it - + +"Ah, Sir Thomas! a louder whistle than that will never call her back +again when she is off with him." + +Sir Thomas was angered, and cried tartly, - + +"Who whistled? I would know." + +Master Silas said submissively, - + +"Your honour, as wrongfully I fancied." + +"Wrongfully, indeed, and to my no small disparagement and +discomfort," said the knight, verily believing that he had not +whistled; for deep and dubious were his cogitations. + +"I protest," went he on to say, "I protest it was the wind of the +casement; and if I live another year I will put a better in the +place of it. Whistle indeed--for what? I care no more about her +than about an unfledged cygnet,--a child, {189a} a chicken, a mere +kitten, a crab-blossom in the hedge." + +The dignity of his worship was wounded by Master Silas unaware, and +his wrath again turned suddenly upon poor William. + +"Hark-ye, knave! hark-ye again, ill-looking stripling, lanky from +vicious courses! I will reclaim thee from them; I will do what thy +own father would, and cannot. Thou shalt follow his business." + +"I cannot do better, may it please your worship!" said the lad. + +"It shall lead thee unto wealth and respectability," said the +knight, somewhat appeased by his ready compliancy and low, gentle +voice. "Yea, but not here,--no witches, no wantons (this word fell +gravely and at full-length upon the ear), no spells hereabout. + +"Gloucestershire is within a measured mile of thy dwelling. There +is one at Bristol, formerly a parish-boy, or little better, who now +writeth himself GENTLEMAN in large, round letters, and hath been +elected, I hear, to serve as burgess in parliament for his native +city; just as though he had eaten a capon or turkey-poult in his +youth, and had actually been at grammar school and college. When he +began, he had not credit for a goat-skin; and now, behold ye! this +very coat upon my back did cost me eight shillings the dearer for +him, he bought up wool so largely." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"May it please your worship! if my father so ordereth, I go +cheerfully." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Thou art grown discreet and dutiful. I am fain to command thy +release, taking thy promise on oath, and some reasonable security, +that thou wilt abstain and withhold in future from that idle and +silly slut, that sly and scoffing giggler, Hannah Hathaway, with +whom, to the heartache of thy poor, worthy father, thou wantonly +keepest company." + +Then did Sir Thomas ask Master Silas Gough for the Book of Life, +bidding him deliver it into the right hand of Billy, with an eye +upon him that he touch it with both lips,--it being taught by the +Jesuits, and caught too greedily out of their society and communion, +that whoso toucheth it with one lip only, and thereafter sweareth +falsely, cannot be called a perjurer, since perjury is breaking an +oath. But breaking half an oath, as he doth who toucheth the Bible +or crucifix with one lip only, is no more perjury than breaking an +eggshell is breaking an egg, the shell being a part, and the egg +being an integral. + +William did take the Holy Book with all due reverence the instant it +was offered to his hand. His stature seemed to rise therefrom as +from a pulpit, and Sir Thomas was quite edified. + +"Obedient and conducible youth!" said he. "See there, Master Silas! +what hast thou now to say against him? Who sees farthest?" + +"The man from the gallows is the most likely, bating his nightcap +and blinker," said Master Silas, peevishly. "He hath not outwitted +me yet." + +"He seized upon the Anchor of Faith like a martyr," said Sir Thomas, +"and even now his face burns red as elder-wine before the gossips." + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE. + +"I await the further orders of your worship from the chair." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"I return and seat myself." + +And then did Sir Thomas say with great complacency and satisfaction +in the ear of Master Silas, - + +"What civility, and deference, and sedateness of mind, Silas!" + +But Master Silas answered not. + +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE + +"Must I swear, sirs?" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Yea, swear; be of good courage. I protest to thee by my honour and +knighthood, no ill shall come unto thee therefrom. Thou shalt not +be circumvented in thy simpleness and inexperience." + +Willy, having taken the Book of Life, did kiss it piously, and did +press it unto his breast, saying, + +"Tenderest love is the growth of my heart, as the grass is of +Alvescote mead. + +"May I lose my life or my friends, or my memory, or my reason; may I +be viler in my own eyes than those men are--" + +Here he was interrupted, most lovingly, by Sir Thomas, who said unto +him, - + +"Nay, nay, nay! poor youth! do not tell me so! they are not such +very bad men, since thou appealest unto Caesar,--that is, unto the +judgment-seat." + +Now his worship did mean the two witnesses, Joseph and Euseby; and, +sooth to say there be many worse. But William had them not in his +eye; his thoughts were elsewhere, as will be evident, for he went on +thus:- + +"--if ever I forget or desert thee, or ever cease to worship {193a} +and cherish thee, my Hannah!" + +SIR SILAS. + +"The madman! the audacious, desperate, outrageous villain! Look-ye, +sir! where he flung the Holy Gospel! Behold it on the holly and box +boughs in the chimney-place, spreaden all abroad, like a lad about +to be whipped!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Miscreant knave! I will send after him forthwith! + +"Ho, there! is the caitiff at hand, or running off?" + +Jonas Greenfield the butler did budge forward after a while, and +say, on being questioned, - + +"Surely, that was he! Was his nag tied to the iron gate at the +lodge, Master Silas?" + +SIR SILAS. + +"What should I know about a thief's nag, Jonas Greenfield?" + +"And didst thou let him go, Jonas,--even thou?" said Sir Thomas. +"What! are none found faithful?" + +"Lord love your worship," said Jonas Greenfield; "a man of +threescore and two may miss catching a kite upon wing. Fleetness +doth not make folks the faithfuller, or that youth yonder beats us +all in faithfulness. + +"Look! he darts on like a greyhound whelp after a leveret. He, sure +enough, it was! I now remember the sorrel mare his father bought of +John Kinderley last Lammas, swift as he threaded the trees along the +park. He must have reached Wellesbourne ere now at that gallop, and +pretty nigh Walton-hill." + +SIR THOMAS. + +"Merciful Christ! grant the country be rid of him for ever! What +dishonour upon his friends and native town! A reputable wool- +stapler's son turned gipsy and poet for life." + +SIR SILAS. + +"A Beelzebub; he spake as bigly and fiercely as a soaken yeoman at +an election feast,--this obedient and conducible youth!" + +SIR THOMAS. + +"It was so written. Hold thy peace, Silas!" + +LAUS DEO. +E. B. + + + +POST-SCRIPTUM +BY ME, EPHRAIM BARNETT. + + + +Twelve days are over and gone since William Shakspeare did leave our +parts. And the spinster, Hannah Hathaway, is in sad doleful plight +about him; forasmuch as Master Silas Cough went yesterday unto her, +in her mother's house at Shottery, and did desire both her and her +mother to take heed and be admonished, that if ever she, Hannah, +threw away one thought after the runagate William Shakspeare, he +should swing. + +The girl could do nothing but weep; while as the mother did give her +solemn promise that her daughter should never more think about him +all her natural life, reckoning from the moment of this her promise. + +And the maiden, now growing more reasonable, did promise the same. +But Master Silas said, + +"I DOUBT YOU WILL, THOUGH." + +"NO," said the mother, "I ANSWER FOR HER SHE SHALL NOT THINK OF HIM, +EVEN IF SHE SEE HIS GHOST." + +Hannah screamed, and swooned, the better to forget him. And Master +Silas went home easier and contenteder. For now all the worst of +his hard duty was accomplished,--he having been, on the Wednesday of +last week, at the speech of Master John Shakspeare, Will's father, +to inquire whether the sorrel mare was his. To which question the +said Master John Shakspeare did answer, "YEA." + +"ENOUGH SAID!" rejoined Master Silas. + +"HORSE-STEALING IS CAPITAL. WE SHALL BIND THEE OVER TO APPEAR +AGAINST THE CULPRIT, AS PROSECUTOR, AT THE NEXT ASSIZES." + +May the Lord in his mercy give the lad a good deliverance, if so be +it be no sin to wish it! + +October 1, A. D. 1582. + +LAUS DEO. + + + +Footnotes: + + + +{8a} Quicken, bring to life. + +{8b} Debtors were often let out of prison at the coronation of a +new king; but creditors never paid by him. + +{21a} The word here omitted is quite illegible. It appears to have +some reference to the language of the Highlanders. That it was +rough and outlandish is apparent from the reprimand of Sir Thomas. + +{29a} By this deposition it would appear that Shakspeare had formed +the idea, if not the outline, of several plays already, much as he +altered them, no doubt, in after life. + +{39a} The greater part of the value of the present work arises from +the certain information it affords us on the price of small needles +in the reign of Elizabeth. Fine needles in her days were made only +at Liege, and some few cities in the Netherlands, and may be +reckoned among those things which were much dearer than they are +now. + +{39b} Mr. Tooke had not yet published his Pantheon. + +{44a} This was really the case within our memory. + +{45a} It was formerly thought, and perhaps is thought still, that +the hand of a man recently hanged, being rubbed on the tumour of the +king's evil, was able to cure it. The crown and the gallows divided +the glory of the sovereign remedy. + +{46a} And yet he never did sail any farther than into Bohemia. + +{50a} Smock, formerly a part of the female dress, corresponding +with shroud, or what we now call (or lately called) shirt of the +man's. Fox, speaking of Latimer's burning, says, "Being slipped +into his shroud." + +{50b} Faith nailing the ears is a strong and sacred metaphor. The +rhyme is imperfect,--Shakspeare was not always attentive to these +minor beauties. + +{53a} Shakspeare seems to have profited afterward by this metaphor, +even more perhaps than by all the direct pieces of instruction in +poetry given him so handsomely by the worthy knight. And here it +may be permitted the editor to profit also by the manuscript, +correcting in Shakspeare what is absolute nonsense as now printed:- + +"VAULTING ambition that o'erleaps ITSELF." + +It should be its SELL. SELL is SADDLE in Spenser and elsewhere, +from the Latin and Italian. + +This emendation was shewn to the late Mr. Hazlitt, an acute man at +least, who expressed his conviction that it was the right reading, +and added somewhat more in approbation of it. + +{55a} It has been suggested that this answer was borrowed from +Virgil, and goes strongly against the genuineness of the manuscript. +The Editor's memory was upon the stretch to recollect the words; the +learned critic supplied them:- + +"Solum AEneas vocat: et vocet, oro." + +The Editor could only reply, indeed weakly, that CALLING and WAITING +are not exactly the same, unless when tradesmen rap and gentlemen +are leaving town. + +{66a} Here the manuscript is blotted; but the probability is that +it was FISHMONGER, rather than IRONMONGER, fishmongers having always +been notorious cheats and liars. + +{70a} ON THE NAIL appears to be intended to express READY PAYMENT. + +{72a} The Cordilleras are mountains, we know, running through South +America. Perhaps a pun was intended; or possibly it might, in the +age of Elizabeth, have been a vulgar term for HANGING, although we +find no trace of the expression in other books. We have no clue to +guide us here. It might be suggested that Shakspeare, who shines +little in geographical knowledge, fancied the Cordilleras to extend +into North America, had convicts in his time been transported to +those colonies. Certainly, many adventurers and desperate men went +thither. + +{89a} In that age there was prevalent a sort of cholera, on which +Fracastorius, half a century before, wrote a Latin poem, employing +the graceful nymphs of Homer and Hesiod, somewhat disguised, in the +drudgery of pounding certain barks and minerals. An article in the +Impeachment of Cardinal Wolsey accuses him of breathing in the +king's face, knowing that he was affected with this cholera. It was +a great assistant to the Reformation, by removing some of the most +vigorous champions that opposed it. In the Holy College it was +followed by the SWEATING SICKNESS, which thinned it very sorely; and +several even of God's vicegerents were laid under tribulation by it. +Among the chambers of the Vatican it hung for ages, and it crowned +the labours of Pope Leo XII., of blessed memory, with a crown +somewhat uneasy. + +{105a} Sir Thomas seems to have been jealous of these two towers, +certainly the finest in England. If Warwick Castle could borrow the +windows from Kenilworth, it would be complete. The knight is not +very courteous on its hospitality. He may, perhaps, have +experienced it, as Garrick and Quin did under the present occupant's +grandfather, on whom the title of Earl of Warwick was conferred for +the eminent services he had rendered to his country as one of the +lords of the bedchamber to his Majesty George the Second. The +verses of Garrick on his invitation and visit are remembered by +many. Quin's are less known. + +He shewed us Guy's pot, but the soup he forgot; + Not a meal did his lordship allow, +Unless we gnaw'd o'er the blade-bone of the boar, + Or the rib of the famous Dun Cow. + +When Nevile the great Earl of Warwick lived here, + Three oxen for breakfast were slain, +And strangers invited to sports and good cheer, + And invited again and again. + +This earl is in purse or in spirit so low, + That he with no oxen will feed 'em; +And all of the former great doings we know + Is, he gives us a book and we read 'em. + +GARRICK. + +STALE peers are but tough morsels, and 't were well + If we had found the FRESH more eatable; +Garrick! I do not say 't were well for HIM, + For we had pluck'd the plover limb from limb. + +QUIN. + +{106a} Another untoward blot! but leaving no doubt of the word. +The only doubt is whether he meant the MUZZLE of the animal itself, +or one of those leathern muzzles which are often employed to coerce +the violence of ferocious animals. In besieged cities men have been +reduced to such extremities. But the MUZZLE, in this place, we +suspect, would more properly be called the BLINKER, which is often +put upon bulls in pastures when they are vicious. + +{108a} This would countenance the opinion of those who are inclined +to believe that Shakspeare was a Roman Catholic. His hatred and +contempt of priests, which are demonstrated wherever he has +introduced them, may have originated from the unfairness of Silas +Gough. Nothing of that kind, we may believe, had occurred to him +from friars and monks, whom he treats respectfully and kindly, +perhaps in return for some such services to himself as Friar +Lawrence had bestowed on Romeo,--or rather less; for Shakspeare was +grateful. The words quoted by him from some sermon, now lost, prove +him no friend to the filchings and swindling of popery. + +{111a} It is a pity that the old divines should have indulged, as +they often did, in such images as this. Some readers in search of +argumentative subtility, some in search of sound Christianity, some +in search of pure English undefiled, have gone through with them; +and their labours (however heavy) have been well repaid. + +{124a} Tilley valley was the favourite adjuration of James the +Second. It appears in the comedies of Shakspeare. + +{133a} Whoreson, if we may hazard a conjecture, means the son of a +woman of ill-repute. In this we are borne out by the context. It +appears to have escaped the commentators on Shakspeare. + +Whoreson, a word of frequent occurrence in the comedies; more rarely +found in the tragedies. Although now obsolete, the expression +proves that there were (or were believed to be) such persons +formerly. + +The Editor is indebted to two learned friends for these two remarks, +which appear no less just than ingenious. + +{153a} Belly-ache, a disorder once not uncommon in England. Even +the name is now almost forgotten; yet the elder of us may remember +at least the report of it, and some, perhaps, even the complaint +itself, in our school-days. It usually broke out about the cherry +season; and in some cases made its appearance again at the first +nutting. + +{157a} Sir Thomas borrowed this expression from Spenser, who thus +calls Queen Elizabeth. + +{159a} Humboldt notices this. + +{164a} Pragmatical here means only PRECISE. + +{181a} It is doubtful whether Doctor Buckland will agree with Sir +Thomas that these petrifactions are ram's-horns and lampreys. + +{189a} She was then twenty-eight years of age. Sir Thomas must +have spoken of her from earlier recollections. Shakspeare was in +his twentieth year. + +{193a} It is to be feared that his taste for venison outlasted that +for matrimony, spite of this vow. + + + + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, CITATION ETC. OF W. 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FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END* + diff --git a/old/trsk10.zip b/old/trsk10.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..050d048 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/trsk10.zip diff --git a/old/trsk10h.htm b/old/trsk10h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d79fd79 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/trsk10h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,6043 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=US-ASCII"> +<title>Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare</title> +</head> +<body> +<h2> +<a href="#startoftext">Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare, by Walter Savage Landor</a> +</h2> +<pre> +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare +by Walter Savage Landor +(#3 in our series by Walter Savage Landor) + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world. 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You can also find out about how to make a +donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved. + + +**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts** + +**eBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971** + +*****These eBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers!***** + + +Title: Citation and Examination of William Shakspeare + +Author: Walter Savage Landor + +Release Date: February, 2004 [EBook #5112] +[Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] +[This file was first posted on April 30, 2002] + +Edition: 10 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII +</pre> +<p> +<a name="startoftext"></a> +Transcribed from the 1891 Chatto & Windus edition by David Price, +email ccx074@coventry.ac.uk<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +CITATION AND EXAMINATION OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE<br> +EUSEBY TREEN JOSEPH CARNABY AND SILAS GOUGH CLERK<br> +BEFORE THE WORSHIPFUL<br> +SIR THOMAS LUCY KNIGHT<br> +TOUCHING DEER-STEELING<br> +On the Nineteenth Day of September in the Year of Grace 1582<br> +NOW FIRST PUBLISHED FROM ORIGINAL PAPERS<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +EDITOR’S PREFACE.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +“It was an ancestor of my husband who <i>brought out</i> the famous +Shakspeare.”<br> +<br> +These words were really spoken, and were repeated in conversation as +most ridiculous. Certainly such was very far from the lady’s +intention; and who knows to what extent they are true?<br> +<br> +<br> +The frolic of Shakspeare in deer-stealing was the cause of his <i>Hegira</i>;<i> +</i>and his connection with players in London was the cause of his writing +plays. Had he remained in his native town, his ambition had never +been excited by the applause of the intellectual, the popular, and the +powerful, which, after all, was hardly sufficient to excite it. +He wrote from the same motive as he acted, - to earn his daily bread. +He felt his own powers; but he cared little for making them felt by +others more than served his wants.<br> +<br> +The malignant may doubt, or pretend to doubt, the authenticity of the +<i>Examination </i>here published. Let us, who are not malignant, +be cautious of adding anything to the noisome mass of incredulity that +surrounds us; let us avoid the crying sin of our age, in which the “Memoirs +of a Parish Clerk,” edited as they were by a pious and learned +dignitary of the Established Church, are questioned in regard to their +genuineness; and even the privileges of Parliament are inadequate to +cover from the foulest imputation - the imputation of having exercised +his inventive faculties - the elegant and accomplished editor of Eugene +Aram’s apprehension, trial, and defence.<br> +<br> +Indeed, there is little of real history, excepting in romances. +Some of these are strictly true to nature; while histories in general +give a distorted view of her, and rarely a faithful record either of +momentous or of common events.<br> +<br> +Examinations taken from the mouth are surely the most trustworthy. +Whoever doubts it may be convinced by Ephraim Barnett.<br> +<br> +The Editor is confident he can give no offence to any person who may +happen to bear the name of Lucy. The family of Sir Thomas became +extinct nearly half a century ago, and the estates descended to the +Rev. Mr. John Hammond, of Jesus College, in Oxford, a respectable Welsh +curate, between whom and him there existed at his birth eighteen prior +claimants. He took the name of Lucy.<br> +<br> +The reader will form to himself, from this “Examination of Shakspeare,” +more favourable opinion of Sir Thomas than is left upon his mind by +the dramatist in the character of Justice Shallow. The knight, +indeed, is here exhibited in all his pride of birth and station, in +all his pride of theologian and poet; he is led by the nose, while he +believes that nobody can move him, and shows some other weaknesses, +which the least attentive observer will discover; but he is not without +a little kindness at the bottom of the heart, - a heart too contracted +to hold much, or to let what it holds ebulliate very freely. But, +upon the whole, we neither can utterly hate nor utterly despise him. +Ungainly as he is. -<br> +<br> +<br> +Circum præcordia ludit.<br> +<br> +<br> +The author of the “Imaginary Conversations” seems, in his +“Boccacio and Petrarca,” to have taken his idea of <i>Sir</i> +<i>Magnus </i>from this manuscript. He, however, has adapted that +character to the times; and in <i>Sir Magnus </i>the coward rises to +the courageous, the unskilful in arms becomes the skilful, and war is +to him a teacher of humanity. With much superstition, theology +never molests him; scholarship and poetry are no affairs of his. +He doubts of himself and others, and is as suspicious in his ignorance +as Sir Thomas is confident.<br> +<br> +With these wide diversities, there are family features, such as are +likely to display themselves in different times and circumstances, and +some so generically prevalent as never to lie quite dormant in the breed. +In both of them there is parsimony, there is arrogance, there is contempt +of inferiors, there is abject awe of power, there is irresolution, there +is imbecility. But Sir Magnus has no knowledge, and no respect +for it. Sir Thomas would almost go thirty miles, even to Oxford, +to see a fine specimen of it, although, like most of those who call +themselves the godly, he entertains the most undoubting belief that +he is competent to correct the errors of the wisest and most practised +theologian.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +EDITOR’S APOLOGY.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +A part only of the many deficiencies which the reader will discover +in this book is attributable to the Editor. These, however, it +is his duty to account for, and he will do it as briefly as he can.<br> +<br> +The <i>fac-similes </i>(as printers’ boys call them, meaning <i>specimens</i>) +of the handwriting of nearly all the persons introduced, might perhaps +have been procured had sufficient time been allowed for another journey +into Warwickshire. That of Shakspeare is known already in the +signature to his will, but deformed by sickness; that of Sir Thomas +Lucy is extant at the bottom of a commitment of a female vagrant, for +having a sucking child in her arms on the public road; that of Silas +Gough is affixed to the register of births and marriages, during several +years, in the parishes of Hampton Lucy and Charlecote, and certifies +one death, - Euseby Treen’s; surmised, at least, to be his by +the letters “E. T.” cut on a bench seven inches thick, under +an old pollard-oak outside the park paling of Charlecote, toward the +northeast. For this discovery the Editor is indebted to a most +respectable, intelligent farmer in the adjoining parish of Wasperton, +in which parish Treen’s elder brother lies buried. The worthy +farmer is unwilling to accept the large portion of fame justly due to +him for the services he has thus rendered to literature in elucidating +the history of Shakspeare and his times. In possession of another +agricultural gentleman there was recently a very curious piece of iron, +believed by many celebrated antiquaries to have constituted a part of +a knight’s breast-plate. It was purchased for two hundred +pounds by the trustees of the British Museum, among whom, the reader +will be grieved to hear, it produced dissension and coldness; several +of them being of opinion that it was merely a gorget, while others were +inclined to the belief that it was the forepart of a horse-shoe. +The Committee of Taste and the Heads of the Archæological Society +were consulted. These learned, dispassionate, and benevolent men +had the satisfaction of conciliating the parties at variance, - each +having yielded somewhat and every member signing, and affixing his seal +to the signature, that, if indeed it be the forepart of a horse-shoe, +it was probably Ismael’s, - there being a curved indentation along +it, resembling the first letter of his name, and there being no certainty +or record that he died in France, or was left in that country by Sir +Magnus.<br> +<br> +The Editor is unable to render adequate thanks to the Rev. Stephen Turnover +for the gratification he received in his curious library by a sight +of Joseph Carnaby’s name at full length, in red ink, coming from +a trumpet in the mouth of an angel. This invaluable document is +upon an engraving in a frontispiece to the New Testament. But +since unhappily he could procure no signature of Hannah Hathaway, nor +of her mother, and only a questionable one of Mr. John Shakspeare, the +poet’s father, - there being two, in two very different hands, +- both he and the publisher were of opinion that the graphical part +of the volume would be justly censured as extremely incomplete, and +that what we could give would only raise inextinguishable regret for +that which we could not. On this reflection all have been omitted.<br> +<br> +The Editor is unwilling to affix any mark of disapprobation on the very +clever engraver who undertook the sorrel mare; but as in the memorable +words of that ingenious gentleman from Ireland whose polished and elaborate +epigrams raised him justly to the rank of prime minister, -<br> +<br> +<br> +“White was not <i>so</i> <i>very </i>white,” -<br> +<br> +<br> +in like manner it appeared to nearly all the artists he consulted that +the sorrel mare was not <i>so sorrel </i>in print.<br> +<br> +There is another and a graver reason why the Editor was induced to reject +the contribution of his friend the engraver; and this is, a neglect +of the late improvements in his art, he having, unadvisedly or thoughtlessly, +drawn in the old-fashioned manner lines at the two sides and at the +top and bottom of his print, confining it to such limits as paintings +are confined in by their frames. Our spirited engravers, it is +well-known, disdain this thraldom, and not only give unbounded space +to their scenery, but also melt their figures in the air, - so advantageously, +that, for the most part, they approach the condition of cherubs. +This is the true aërial perspective, so little understood heretofore. +Trees, castles, rivers, volcanoes, oceans, float together in absolute +vacancy; the solid earth is represented, what we know it actually is, +buoyant as a bubble, so that no wonder if every horse is endued with +all the privileges of Pegasus, save and except our sorrel. Malicious +carpers, insensible or invidious of England’s glory, deny her +in this beautiful practice the merit of invention, assigning it to the +Chinese in their tea-cups and saucers; but if not absolutely new and +ours, it must be acknowledged that we have greatly improved and extended +the invention.<br> +<br> +Such are the reasons why the little volume here laid before the public +is defective in those decorations which the exalted state of literature +demands. Something of compensation is supplied by a Memorandum +of Ephraim Barnett, written upon the inner cover, and printed below.<br> +<br> +The Editor, it will be perceived, is but little practised in the ways +of literature; much less is he gifted with that prophetic spirit which +can anticipate the judgment of the public. It may be that he is +too idle or too apathetic to think anxiously or much about the matter; +and yet he has been amused, in his earlier days, at watching the first +appearance of such few books as he believed to be the production of +some powerful intellect. He has seen people slowly rise up to +them, like carp in a pond when food is thrown into it; some of which +carp snatch suddenly at a morsel, and swallow it; others touch it gently +with their barb, pass deliberately by, and leave it; others wriggle +and rub against it more disdainfully; others, in sober truth, know not +what to make of it, swim round and round it, eye it on the sunny side, +eye it on the shady, approach it, question it, shoulder it, flap it +with the tail, turn it over, look askance at it, take a pea-shell or +a worm instead of it, and plunge again their heads into the comfortable +mud. After some seasons the same food will suit their stomachs +better.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +EXAMINATION, ETC., ETC.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +About one hour before noontide the youth WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE, accused +of deer-stealing, and apprehended for that offence, was brought into +the great hall at Charlecote, where, having made his obeisance, it was +most graciously permitted him to stand.<br> +<br> +The worshipful Sir Thomas Lucy, Knight, seeing him right opposite, on +the farther side of the long table, and fearing no disadvantage, did +frown upon him with great dignity; then, deigning ne’er a word +to the culprit, turned he his face toward his chaplain, Sir Silas Gough, +who stood beside him, and said unto him most courteously, and unlike +unto one who in his own right commandeth, -<br> +<br> +“Stand out of the way! What are those two varlets bringing +into the room?”<br> +<br> +“The table, sir,” replied Master Silas, “upon the +which the consumption of the venison was perpetrated.”<br> +<br> +The youth, William Shakspeare, did thereupon pray and beseech his lordship +most fervently, in this guise:-<br> +<br> +“Oh, sir! do not let him turn the tables against me, who am only +a simple stripling, and he an old codger.”<br> +<br> +But Master Silas did bite his nether lip, and did cry aloud, -<br> +<br> +“Look upon those deadly spots!”<br> +<br> +And his worship did look thereupon most staidly, and did say in the +ear of Master Silas, but in such wise that it reached even unto mine,<br> +<br> +“Good honest chandlery, methinks!”<br> +<br> +“God grant it may turn out so!” ejaculated Master Silas.<br> +<br> +The youth, hearing these words, said unto him, -<br> +<br> +“I fear, Master Silas, gentry like you often pray God to grant +what <i>he </i>would rather not; and now and then what <i>you </i>would +rather not.”<br> +<br> +Sir Silas was wroth at this rudeness of speech about God in the face +of a preacher, and said, reprovingly, -<br> +<br> +“Out upon thy foul mouth, knave! upon which lie slaughter and +venison.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did William Shakspeare sit mute awhile, and discomfited; then +turning toward Sir Thomas, and looking and speaking as one submiss and +contrite, he thus appealed unto him:-<br> +<br> +“Worshipful sir! were there any signs of venison on my mouth, +Master Silas could not for his life cry out upon it, nor help kissing +it as ’twere a wench’s.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas looked upon him with most lordly gravity and wisdom, and +said unto him, in a voice that might have come from the bench:<br> +<br> +“Youth, thou speakest irreverently;” and then unto Master +Silas: “Silas! to the business on hand. Taste the fat upon +yon boor’s table, which the constable hath brought hither, good +Master Silas! And declare upon oath, being sworn in my presence, +first, whether said fat do proceed of venison; secondly, whether said +venison be of buck or doe.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon the reverend Sir Silas did go incontinently, and did bend +forward his head, shoulders, and body, and did severally taste four +white solid substances upon an oaken board; said board being about two +yards long, and one yard four inches wide, - found in, and brought thither +from, the tenement or messuage of Andrew Haggit, who hath absconded. +Of these four white solid substances, two were somewhat larger than +a groat, and thicker; one about the size of King Henry the Eighth’s +shilling, when our late sovereign lord of blessed memory was toward +the lustiest; and the other, that is to say the middlemost, did resemble +in some sort, a mushroom, not over fresh, turned upward on its stalk.<br> +<br> +“And what sayest thou, Master Silas?” quoth the knight.<br> +<br> +In reply whereunto Sir Silas thus averred:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“Venison! o’ my conscience!<br> +Buck! or burn me alive!<br> +<br> +<br> +The three splashes in the circumference are verily and indeed venison; +buck, moreover, - and Charlecote buck, upon my oath!”<br> +<br> +Then carefully tasting the protuberance in the centre, he spat it out, +crying, -<br> +<br> +“<i>Pho! pho</i>! <i>villain</i>! <i>villain</i>!” and shaking +his fist at the culprit.<br> +<br> +Whereat the said culprit smiled and winked, and said off-hand, -<br> +<br> +“Save thy spittle, Silas! It would supply a gaudy mess to +the hungriest litter; but it would turn them from whelps into wolvets. +’T is pity to throw the best of thee away. Nothing comes +out of thy mouth that is not savoury and solid, bating thy wit, thy +sermons, and thy promises.”<br> +<br> +It was my duty to write down the very words, irreverent as they are, +being so commanded. More of the like, it is to be feared, would +have ensued, but that Sir Thomas did check him, saying, shrewdly, -<br> +<br> +“Young man! I perceive that if I do not stop thee in thy +courses, thy name, being involved in thy company’s, may one day +or other reach across the county; and folks may handle it and turn it +about, as it deserveth, from Coleshill to Nuneaton, from Bromwicham +to Brownsover. And who knoweth but that, years after thy death, +the very house wherein thou wert born may be pointed at, and commented +on, by knots of people, gentle and simple! What a shame for an +honest man’s son! Thanks to me, who consider of measures +to prevent it! Posterity shall laud and glorify me for plucking +thee clean out of her head, and for picking up timely a ticklish skittle, +that might overthrow with it a power of others just as light. +I will rid the hundred of thee, with God’s blessing! - nay, the +whole shire. We will have none such in our county; we justices +are agreed upon it, and we will keep our word now and forevermore. +Woe betide any that resembles thee in any part of him!”<br> +<br> +Whereunto Sir Silas added, -<br> +<br> +“We will dog him, and worry him, and haunt him, and bedevil him; +and if ever he hear a comfortable word, it shall be in a language very +different from his own.”<br> +<br> +“As different as thine is from a Christian’s,” said +the youth.<br> +<br> +“Boy! thou art slow of apprehension,” said Sir Thomas, with +much gravity; and taking up the cue, did rejoin, -<br> +<br> +“Master Silas would impress upon thy ductile and tender mind the +danger of evil doing; that we, in other words that justice is resolved +to follow him up, even beyond his country, where he shall hear nothing +better than the Italian or the Spanish, or the black language, or the +language of Turk or Troubadour, or Tartar or Mongol. And, forsooth, +for this gentle and indirect reproof, a gentleman in priest’s +orders is told by a stripling that he lacketh Christianity! Who +then shall give it?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Who, indeed? when the founder of the feast leaveth an invited +guest so empty! Yea, sir, the guest was invited, and the board +was spread. The fruits that lay upon it be there still, and fresh +as ever; and the bread of life in those capacious canisters is unconsumed +and unbroken,”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS <i>(aside).<br> +<br> +</i>“The knave maketh me hungry with his mischievous similitudes.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou hast aggravated thy offence, Wil Shakspeare! Irreverent +caitiff! is this a discourse for my chaplain and clerk? Can he +or the worthy scribe Ephraim (his worship was pleased to call me worthy) +write down such words as those, about litter and wolvets, for the perusal +and meditation of the grand jury? If the whole corporation of +Stratford had not unanimously given it against thee, still his tongue +would catch thee, as the evet catcheth a gnat. Know, sirrah, the +reverend Sir Silas, albeit ill appointed for riding, and not over-fond +of it, goeth to every house wherein is a venison feast for thirty miles +round. Not a buck’s hoof on any stable-door but it awakeneth +his recollections like a red letter.”<br> +<br> +This wholesome reproof did bring the youth back again to his right senses; +and then said he, with contrition, and with a wisdom beyond his years, +and little to be expected from one who had spoken just before so unadvisedly +and rashly, -<br> +<br> +“Well do I know it, your worship! And verily do I believe +that a bone of one being shovelled among the soil upon his coffin would +forthwith quicken <a name="citation8a"></a><a href="#footnote8a">{8a}</a> +him. Sooth to say, there is ne’er a buckhound in the county +but he treateth him as a godchild, patting him on the head, soothing +his velvety ear between thumb and forefinger, ejecting tick from tenement, +calling him ‘fine fellow,’ ‘noble lad,’ and +giving him his blessing, as one dearer to him than a king’s debt +to a debtor, <a name="citation8b"></a><a href="#footnote8b">{8b}</a> +or a bastard to a dad of eighty. This is the only kindness I ever +heard of Master Silas toward his fellow-creatures. Never hold +me unjust, Sir Knight, to Master Silas. Could I learn other good +of him, I would freely say it; for we do good by speaking it, and none +is easier. Even bad men are not bad men while they praise the +just. Their first step backward is more troublesome and wrenching +to them than the first forward.”<br> +<br> +“In God’s name, where did he gather all this?” whispered +his worship to the chaplain, by whose side I was sitting. “Why, +he talks like a man of forty-seven, or more!”<br> +<br> +“I doubt his sincerity, sir!” replied the chaplain. +“His words are fairer now - ”<br> +<br> +“Devil choke him for them!” interjected he, with an undervoice.<br> +<br> +“ - and almost book-worthy; but out of place. What the scurvy +cur yelped against me, I forgive him as a Christian. Murrain upon +such varlet vermin! It is but of late years that dignities have +come to be reviled. The other parts of the Gospel were broken +long before, - this was left us; and now this likewise is to be kicked +out of doors, amid the mutterings of such mooncalves as him yonder.”<br> +<br> +“Too true, Silas!” said the knight, sighing deeply. +“Things are not as they were in our glorious wars of York and +Lancaster. The knaves were thinned then, - two or three crops +a year of that rank squitch-grass which it has become the fashion of +late to call the people. There was some difference then between +buff doublets and iron mail, and the rogues felt it. Well-a-day! +we must bear what God willeth, and never repine, although it gives a +man the heart-ache. We are bound in duty to keep these things +for the closet, and to tell God of them only when we call upon his holy +name, and have him quite by ourselves.”<br> +<br> +Sir Silas looked discontented and impatient, and said, snappishly, -<br> +<br> +“Cast we off here, or we shall be at fault. Start him, sir! +- prithee, start him.”<br> +<br> +Again his worship, Sir Thomas, did look gravely and grandly, and taking +a scrap of paper out of the Holy Book then lying before him, did read +distinctly these words:-<br> +<br> +“Providence hath sent Master Silas back hither, this morning, +to confound thee in thy guilt.”<br> +<br> +Again, with all the courage and composure of an innocent man, and indeed +with more than what an innocent man ought to possess in the presence +of a magistrate, the youngster said, pointing toward Master Silas, -<br> +<br> +“The first moment he ventureth to lift up his visage from the +table, hath Providence marked him miraculously. I have heard of +black malice. How many of our words have more in them than we +think of! Give a countryman a plough of silver, and he will plough +with it all the season, and never know its substance. ’T +is thus with our daily speech. What riches lie hidden in the vulgar +tongue of the poorest and most ignorant! What flowers of Paradise +lie under our feet, with their beauties and parts undistinguished and +undiscerned, from having been daily trodden on! O, sir, look you! +- but let me cover my eyes! Look at his lips! Gracious Heaven! +they were not thus when he entered. They are blacker now than +Harry Tewe’s bull-bitch’s!”<br> +<br> +Master Silas did lift up his eyes in astonishment and wrath; and his +worship, Sir Thomas, did open his wider and wider, and cried by fits +and starts:-<br> +<br> +“Gramercy! true enough! nay, afore God, too true by half! +I never saw the like! Who would believe it? I wish I were +fairly rid of this examination, - my hands washed clean thereof! +Another time, - anon! We have our quarterly sessions; we are many +together. At present I remand - ”<br> +<br> +And now, indeed, unless Sir Silas had taken his worship by the sleeve, +he would may-hap have remanded the lad. But Sir Silas, still holding +the sleeve and shaking it, said, hurriedly, -<br> +<br> +“Let me entreat your worship to ponder. What black does +the fellow talk of? My blood and bile rose up against the rogue; +but surely I did not turn black in the face, or in the mouth, as the +fellow calls it?”<br> +<br> +Whether Master Silas had some suspicion and inkling of the cause or +not, he rubbed his right hand along his face and lips, and, looking +upon it, cried aloud, -<br> +<br> +“Ho, ho! is it off? There is some upon my finger’s +end, I find. Now I have it, - ay, there it is. That large +splash upon the centre of the table is tallow, by my salvation! +The profligates sat up until the candle burned out, and the last of +it ran through the socket upon the board. We knew it before. +I did convey into my mouth both fat and smut!”<br> +<br> +“Many of your cloth and kidney do that, good Master Silas, and +make no wry faces about it,” quoth the youngster, with indiscreet +merriment, although short of laughter, as became him who had already +stepped too far and reached the mire.<br> +<br> +To save paper and time, I shall now, for the most part, write only what +they all said, not saying that they said it, and just copying out in +my clearest hand what fell respectively from their mouths.<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I did indeed spit it forth, and emunge my lips, as who should +not?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Would it were so!”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“<i>Would it were so</i>! in thy teeth, hypocrite!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And, truly, I likewise do incline to hope and credit it, as thus +paraphrased and expounded.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Wait until this blessed day next year, sir, at the same hour. +You shall see it forth again at its due season; it would be no miracle +if it lasted. Spittle may cure sore eyes, but not blasted mouths +and scald consciences.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Why! who taught thee all this?”<br> +<br> +Then turned he leisurely toward Sir Silas, and placing his hand outspreaden +upon the arm of the chaplain, said unto him in a low, judicial, hollow +voice, -<br> +<br> +“Every word true and solemn! I have heard less wise saws +from between black covers.”<br> +<br> +Sir Silas was indignant at this under-rating, as he appeared to think +it, of the church and its ministry, and answered impatiently, with Christian +freedom, -<br> +<br> +“Your worship surely will not listen to this wild wizard in his +brothel-pulpit!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Do I live to hear Charlecote Hall called a brothel-pulpit? +Alas, then, I have lived too long!”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“We will try to amend that for thee.”<br> +<br> +William seemed not to hear him, loudly as he spake and pointedly unto +the youngster, who wiped his eyes, crying, -<br> +<br> +“Commit me, sir! in mercy commit me! Master Ephraim! +Oh, Master Ephraim! A guiltless man may feel all the pangs of +the guilty! Is it you who are to make out the commitment? +Dispatch! dispatch. I am a-weary of my life. If I dared +to lie, I would plead guilty.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Heyday! No wonder, Master Ephraim, thy entrails are moved +and wamble. Dost weep, lad? Nay, nay; thou bearest up bravely. +Silas, I now find, although the example come before me from humble life, +that what my mother said was true - ’t was upon my father’s +demise - ‘In great grief there are few tears.’”<br> +<br> +Upon which did the youth, Willy Shakspeare, jog himself by the memory, +and repeat these short verses, not wide from the same purport:<br> +<br> +<br> +“There are, alas, some depths of woe<br> +Too vast for tears to overflow.”<br> +<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Let those who are sadly vexed in spirit mind that notion, whoever +indited it, and be men. I always was; but some little griefs have +pinched me woundily.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas grew impatient, for he had ridden hard that morning, and +had no cushion upon his seat, as Sir Thomas had. I have seen in +my time that he who is seated on beech-wood hath very different thoughts +and moralities from him who is seated on goose-feathers under doe-skin. +But that is neither here nor there, albeit, an’ I die, as I must, +my heirs, Judith and her boy Elijah, may note it.<br> +<br> +Master Silas, as above, looked sourishly, and cried aloud, -<br> +<br> +“The witnesses! the witnesses! testimony! testimony! We +shall now see whose black goes deepest. There is a fork to be +had that can hold the slipperiest eel, and a finger that can strip the +slimiest. I cry your worship to the witnesses.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay, indeed, we are losing the day; it wastes toward noon, and +nothing done. Call the witnesses. How are they called by +name? Give me the paper.”<br> +<br> +The paper being forthwith delivered into his worship’s hand by +the learned clerk, his worship did read aloud the name of Euseby Treen. +Whereupon did Euseby Treen come forth through the great hall-door which +was ajar, and answer most audibly, -<br> +<br> +“Your worship!”<br> +<br> +Straightway did Sir Thomas read aloud, in like form and manner, the +name of Joseph Carnaby; and in like manner as aforesaid did Joseph Carnaby +make answer and say, -<br> +<br> +“Your worship!”<br> +<br> +Lastly did Sir Thomas turn the light of his countenance on William Shakspeare, +saying, -<br> +<br> +“Thou seest these good men deponents against thee, William Shakspeare.” +And then did Sir Thomas pause. And pending this pause did William +Shakspeare look steadfastly in the faces of both; and stroking down +his own with the hollow of his hand from the jaw-bone to the chin-point, +said unto his honour, -<br> +<br> +“Faith! it would give me much pleasure, and the neighbourhood +much vantage, to see these two fellows good men. Joseph Carnaby +and Euseby Treen! Why! your worship! they know every hare’s +form in Luddington-field better than their own beds, and as well pretty +nigh as any wench’s in the parish.”<br> +<br> +Then turned he with jocular scoff unto Joseph Carnaby, thus accosting +him, whom his shirt, being made stiffer than usual for the occasion, +rubbed and frayed, -<br> +<br> +“Ay, Joseph! smoothen and soothe thy collar-piece again and again! +Hark ye! I know what smock that was knavishly cut from.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas rose up in high choler, and said unto Sir Thomas, -<br> +<br> +“Sir! do not listen to that lewd reviler; I wager ten groats I +prove him to be wrong in his scent. Joseph Carnaby is righteous +and discreet.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“By daylight and before the parson. Bears and boars are +tame creatures, and discreet, in the sunshine and after dinner.”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“I do know his down-goings and uprisings.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The man and his wife are one, saith holy Scripture.”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“A sober-paced and rigid man, if such there be. Few keep +Lent like unto him.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I warrant him, both lent and stolen.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Peace and silence! Now, Joseph Carnaby, do thou depose +on particulars.”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“May it please your worship! I was returning from Hampton +upon Allhallowmas eve, between the hours of ten and eleven at night, +in company with Master Euseby Treen; and when we came to the bottom +of Mickle Meadow, we heard several men in discourse. I plucked +Euseby Treen by the doublet, and whispered in his ear, ‘Euseby! +Euseby! let us slink along in the shadow of the elms and willows.’”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“<i>Willows and elm-trees </i>were the words.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“See, your worship! what discordances! They cannot agree +in their own story.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“The same thing, the same thing, in the main.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“By less differences than this estates have been lost, hearts +broken, and England, our country, filled with homeless, helpless, destitute +orphans. I protest against it.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Protest, indeed! He talks as if he were a member of the +House of Lords. They alone can protest.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Your attorney may <i>object</i>,<i> </i>not <i>protest</i>,<i> +</i>before the lord judge.<br> +<br> +“Proceed you, Joseph Carnaby.”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees, then - ”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“No hints, no conspiracies! Keep to your own story, man, +and do not borrow his.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I overrule the objection. Nothing can be more futile and +frivolous.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“So learned a magistrate as your worship will surely do me justice +by hearing me attentively. I am young; nevertheless, having more +than one year written in the office of an attorney, and having heard +and listened to many discourses and questions on law, I cannot but remember +the heavy fine inflicted on a gentleman of this county who committed +a poor man to prison for being in possession of a hare, it being proved +that the hare was in his possession, and not he in the hare’s.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Synonymous term! synonymous term!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“In what term sayest thou was it? I do not remember the +case.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Mere quibble mere equivocation! Jesuitical! Jesuitical!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“It would be Jesuitical, Sir Silas, if it dragged the law by its +perversions to the side of oppression and cruelty. The order of +Jesuits, I fear, is as numerous as its tenets are lax and comprehensive. +I am sorry to see their frocks flounced with English serge.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I don’t understand thee, viper!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Cease thou, Will Shakspeare! Know thy place. And +do thou, Joseph Carnaby, take up again the thread of thy testimony.”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“We were still at some distance from the party, when on a sudden +Euseby hung an --- ” <a name="citation21a"></a><a href="#footnote21a">{21a}</a><br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“As well write <i>drew back</i>,<i> </i>Master Ephraim and Master +Silas! Be circumspecter in speech, Master Joseph Carnaby! +I did not look for such rude phrases from that starch-warehouse under +thy chin. Continue, man!”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“‘Euseby,’ said I in his ear, ‘what ails thee, +Euseby?’ ‘I wag no farther,’ quoth he. +‘What a number of names and voices!’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Dreadful gang! a number of names and voices! Had it been +any other day in the year but Allhallowmas eve! To steal a buck +upon such a day! Well! God may pardon even that. Go +on, go on. But the laws of our country must have their satisfaction +and atonement. Were it upon any other day in the calendar less +holy, the buck were nothing, or next to nothing, saving the law and +our conscience and our good report. Yet we, her Majesty’s +justices, must stand in the gap, body and soul, against evil-doers. +Now do thou, in furtherance of this business, give thine aid unto us, +Joseph Carnaby! - remembering that mine eye from this judgment-seat, +and her Majesty’s bright and glorious one overlooking the whole +realm, and the broader of God above, are upon thee.”<br> +<br> +Carnaby did quail a matter at these words about the judgment-seat and +the broad eye, aptly and gravely delivered by him moreover who hath +to administer truth and righteousness in our ancient and venerable laws, +and especially, at the present juncture, in those against park-breaking +and deer-stealing. But finally, nought discomfited, and putting +his hand valiantly atwixt hip and midriff, so that his elbow well-nigh +touched the taller pen in the ink-pot, he went on.<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“‘<i>In the shadow of the willows and elm-trees</i>,’ +said he, ‘<i>and get nearer</i>.’ We were still at +some distance, maybe a score of furlongs, from the party - ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou hast said it already - all save the score of furlongs.”<br> +<br> +“Hast room for them, Master Silas?”<br> +<br> +“Yea,” quoth Master Silas, “and would make room for +fifty, to let the fellow swing at his ease.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Hast room, Master Ephraim?”<br> +<br> +“’T is done, most worshipful!” said I. The learned +knight did not recollect that I could put fifty furlongs in a needle’s +eye, give me pen fine enough.<br> +<br> +But far be it from me to vaunt of my penmanship, although there be those +who do malign it, even in my own township and parish; yet they never +have unperched me from my calling, and have had hard work to take an +idle wench or two from under me on Saturday nights.<br> +<br> +I memorize thus much, not out of any malice or any soreness about me, +but that those of my kindred into whose hands it please God these papers +do fall hereafter, may bear up stoutly in such straits; and if they +be good at the cudgel, that they, looking first at their man, do give +it him heartily and unsparingly, keeping within law.<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, having overlooked what we had written, and meditated a while +thereupon, said unto Joseph, -<br> +<br> +“It appeareth by thy testimony that there was a huge and desperate +gang of them afoot. Revengeful dogs! it is difficult to deal with +them. The laws forbid precipitancy and violence. A dozen +or two may return and harm me; not me, indeed, but my tenants and servants. +I would fain act with prudence, and like unto him who looketh abroad. +He must tie his shoe tightly who passeth through mire; he must step +softly who steppeth over stones; he must walk in the fear of the Lord +(which, without a brag, I do at this present feel upon me), who hopeth +to reach the end of the straightest road in safety.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Tut, tut! your worship! Her Majesty’s deputy hath +matchlocks and halters at a knight’s disposal, or the world were +topsyturvy indeed.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“My mental ejaculations, and an influx of grace thereupon, have +shaken and washed from my brain all thy last words, good Joseph! +Thy companion here, Euseby Treen, said unto thee - ay - ”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Said unto me, ‘What a number of names and voices! +And there be but three living men in all! And look again! +Christ deliver us! all the shadows save one go leftward; that one lieth +right upon the river. It seemeth a big, squat monster, shaking +a little, as one ready to spring upon its prey!’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“A dead man in his last agonies, no doubt! Your deer-stealer +doth boggle at nothing. He hath alway the knife in doublet and +the devil at elbow.<br> +<br> +“I wot not of any keeper killed or missing. To lose one’s +deer and keeper too were overmuch.<br> +<br> +“Do, in God’s merciful name, hand unto me a glass of sack, +Master Silas! I wax faintish at the big, squat man. He hath +harmed not only me, but mine. Furthermore, the examination is +grown so long.”<br> +<br> +Then was the wine delivered by Sir Silas into the hand of his worship, +who drank it off in a beaker of about half a pint, - but little to his +satisfaction, for he said shortly afterward, -<br> +<br> +“Hast thou poured no water into the sack, good Master Silas? +It seemeth weaker and washier than ordinary, and affordeth small comfort +unto the breast and stomach.”<br> +<br> +“Not I, truly, sir,” replied Master Silas “and the +bottle is a fresh and sound one. The cork reported on drawing, +as the best diver doth on sousing from Warwick bridge into Avon. +A rare cork! as bright as the glass bottle, and as smooth as the lips +of any cow.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“My mouth is out of taste this morning; or the same wine, mayhap, +hath a different force and flavor in the dining-room and among friends. +But to business - what more?”<br> +<br> +“Euseby Treen, what may it be?” said I.<br> +<br> +“I know,” quoth he, “but dare not breathe it.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I thought I had taken a glass of wine, verily. Attention +to my duty as a magistrate is paramount. I mind nothing else when +that lies before me.<br> +<br> +“Carnaby! I credit thy honesty, but doubt thy manhood. +Why not breathe it, with a vengeance?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“It was Euseby who dared not.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Stand still! Say nothing yet; mind my orders. Fair +and softly! compose thyself.”<br> +<br> +They all stood silent for some time, and looked very composed, awaiting +the commands of the knight. His mind was clearly in such a state +of devotion that peradventure he might not have descended for a while +longer to his mundane duties, had not Master Silas told him that, under +the shadow of his wing, their courage had returned and they were quite +composed again.<br> +<br> +“You may proceed,” said the knight.<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Master Treen did take off his cap and wipe his forehead. +I, for the sake of comforting him in this his heaviness, placed my hand +upon his crown; and truly I might have taken it for a tuft of bents, +the hair on end, the skin immovable as God’s earth!”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, hearing these words, lifted up his hands above his own head, +and in the loudest voice he had yet uttered did he cry, -<br> +<br> +“Wonderful are thy ways in Israel, O Lord!”<br> +<br> +So saying, the pious knight did strike his knee with the palm of his +right hand; and then gave he a sign, bowing his head and closing his +eyes, by which Master Carnaby did think he signified his pleasure that +he should go on deposing. And he went on thus:-<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“At this moment one of the accomplices cried, ‘Willy! +Willy! prithee stop! enough in all conscience! First thou divertedst +us from our undertaking with thy strange vagaries, thy Italian girls’ +nursery sigh, thy Pucks and pinchings, and thy Windsor whimsies. +No kitten upon a bed of marum ever played such antics. It was +summer and winter, night and day with us within the hour; and in such +religion did we think and feel it, we would have broken the man’s +jaw who gainsaid it. We have slept with thee under the oaks in +the ancient forest of Arden, and we have wakened from our sleep in the +tempest far at sea. <a name="citation29a"></a><a href="#footnote29a">{29a}</a> +Now art thou for frightening us again out of all the senses thou hadst +given us, with witches and women more murderous than they.’<br> +<br> +“Then followed a deeper voice: ‘Stouter men and more resolute +are few; but thou, my lad, hast words too weighty for flesh and bones +to bear up against. And who knows but these creatures may pop +amongst us at last, as the wolf did, sure enough, upon him, the noisy +rogue, who so long had been crying <i>wolf</i>! and <i>wolf</i>!<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Well spoken, for two thieves; albeit I miss the meaning of the +most part. Did they prevail with the scapegrace and stop him?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“The last who had spoken did slap him on the shoulder, saying, +‘Jump into the punt, lad, and across.’ Thereupon did +Will Shakspeare jump into said punt, and begin to sing a song about +a mermaid.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir! is this credible? I will be sworn I never saw one; +and verily do believe that scarcely one in a hundred years doth venture +so far up the Avon.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“There is something in this. Thou mayest have sung about +one, nevertheless. Young poets take great liberties with all female +kind; not that mermaids are such very unlawful game for them, and there +be songs even about worse and staler fish. Mind ye that! +Thou hast written songs, and hast sung them, and lewd enough they be, +God wot!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Pardon me, your worship! they were not mine then. Peradventure +the song about the mermaid may have been that ancient one which every +boy in most parishes has been singing for many years, and, perhaps, +his father before him; and somebody was singing it then, mayhap, to +keep up his courage in the night.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I never heard it.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Nobody would dare to sing in the presence of your worship, unless +commanded, - not even the mermaid herself.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Canst thou sing it?<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Verily, I can sing nothing.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Canst thou repeat it from memory?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“It is so long since I have thought about it, that I may fail +in the attempt.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Try, however.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘The mermaid sat upon the rocks<br> + All day long,<br> +Admiring her beauty and combing her locks,<br> + And singing a mermaid song.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS<br> +<br> +“What was it? what was it? I thought as much. There +thou standest, like a woodpecker, chattering and chattering, breaking +the bark with thy beak, and leaving the grub where it was. This +is enough to put a saint out of patience.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The wishes of your worship possess a mysterious influence, - +I now remember all.<br> +<br> +“‘And hear the mermaid’s song you may,<br> + As sure as sure can be,<br> +If you will but follow the sun all day,<br> + And souse with him into the sea.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“It must be an idle fellow who would take that trouble; besides, +unless he nicked the time he might miss the monster. There be +many who are slow to believe that the mermaid singeth.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Ah sir! not only the mermaid singeth, but the merman sweareth, +as another old song will convince you.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I would fain be convinced of God’s wonders in the great +deeps, and would lean upon the weakest reed like unto thee to manifest +his glory. Thou mayest convince me.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +1.<br> +<br> +“‘A wonderful story, my lasses and lads,<br> +Peradventure you’ve heard from your grannams or dads,<br> +Of a merman that came every night to woo<br> +The spinster of spinsters, our Catherine Crewe.<br> +<br> +2.<br> +<br> + “‘But Catherine Crewe<br> + Is now seventy-two,<br> + And avers she hath half forgotten<br> +The truth of the tale, when you ask her about it,<br> +And says, as if fain to deny it or flout it,<br> + “<i>Pooh</i>! <i>the merman is dead and rotten</i>.”<br> +<br> +3.<br> +<br> +“‘The merman came up as the mermen are wont,<br> +To the top of the water, and then swam upon ’t;<br> +And Catherine saw him with both her two eyes,<br> +A lusty young merman full six feet in size.<br> +<br> +4.<br> +<br> + “‘And Catherine was +frighten’d,<br> + Her scalp-skin it tighten’d,<br> +And her head it swam strangely, although on dry land;<br> + And the merman made bold<br> + Eftsoons to lay hold<br> +(<i>This </i>Catherine well recollects) of her hand.<br> +<br> +5.<br> +<br> +“‘But how could a merman, if ever so good,<br> +Or if ever so clever, be well understood<br> +By a simple young creature of our flesh and blood?<br> +<br> +6.<br> +<br> + “‘Some tell us the merman<br> + Can only speak German,<br> + In a voice between grunting and snoring;<br> +But Catherine says he had learned in the wars<br> +The language, persuasions, and oaths of our tars,<br> + And that even his voice was not foreign.<br> +<br> +7.<br> +<br> +“‘Yet when she was asked how he managed to hide<br> +The green fishy tail, coming out of the tide<br> + For night after night above twenty,<br> +“You troublesome creatures!” old Catherine replied,<br> + “<i>In his pocket</i>;<i> </i>won’t that +now content ye?”’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I have my doubts yet. I should have said unto her, seriously, +‘Kate! Kate! I am not convinced.’ There +may be witchcraft or sortilege in it. I would have made it a star-chamber +matter.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“It was one, sir.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And now I am reminded by this silly, childish song, - which, +after all, is not the true mermaid’s, - thou didst tell me, Silas, +that the papers found in the lad’s pocket were intended for poetry.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I wish he had missed his aim, sir, in your park, as he hath missed +it in his poetry. The papers are not worth reading; they do not +go against him in the point at issue.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“We must see that, - they being taken upon his person when apprehended.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Let Ephraim read them, then; it behooveth not me, a Master of +Arts, to con a whelp’s whining.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Do thou read them aloud unto us, good Master Ephraim.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon I took the papers which young Willy had not bestowed much +pains on; and they posed and puzzled me grievously, for they were blotted +and scrawled in many places, as if somebody had put him out. These +likewise I thought fit, after long consideration, to write better, and +preserve, great as the loss of time is when men of business take in +hand such unseemly matters. However, they are decenter than most, +and not without their moral; for example:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“TO THE OWLET.<br> +<br> +“Who, O thou sapient, saintly bird!<br> +Thy shouted warnings ever heard<br> + Unbleached by fear?<br> +The blue-faced blubbering imp, who steals<br> +Yon turnips, thinks thee at his heels,<br> + Afar or near.<br> +<br> +“The brawnier churl, who brags at times<br> +To front and top the rankest crimes, -<br> + To paunch a deer,<br> +Quarter a priest, or squeeze a wench, -<br> +Scuds from thee, clammy as a tench,<br> + He knows not where.<br> +<br> +“For this the righteous Lord of all<br> +Consigns to thee the castle-wall,<br> + When, many a year,<br> +Closed in the chancel-vaults, are eyes<br> +Rainy or sunny at the sighs<br> + Of knight or peer.”<br> +<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, when I had ended, said unto me,<br> +<br> +“No harm herein; but are they over?”<br> +<br> +I replied, “Yea, sir!”<br> +<br> +“I miss the <i>posy</i>,” quoth he; “there is usually +a lump of sugar, or a smack thereof at the bottom of the glass. +They who are inexperienced in poetry do write it as boys do their copies +in the copy-book, without a flourish at the finis. It is only +the master who can do this befittingly.”<br> +<br> +I bowed unto his worship reverentially, thinking of a surety he meant +me, and returned my best thanks in set language. But his worship +rebuffed them, and told me graciously that he had an eye on another +of very different quality; that the plain sense of his discourse might +do for me, the subtler was certainly for himself. He added that +in his younger days he had heard from a person of great parts, and had +since profited by it, that ordinary poets are like adders, - the tail +blunt and the body rough, and the whole reptile cold-blooded and sluggish: +“whereas we,” he subjoined, “leap and caracole and +curvet, and are as warm as velvet, and as sleek as satin, and as perfumed +as a Naples fan, in every part of us; and the end of our poems is as +pointed as a perch’s back-fin, and it requires as much nicety +to pick it up as a needle<a name="citation38a"></a><a href="#footnote38a">{38a}</a> +at nine groats the hundred.”<br> +<br> +Then turning toward the culprit, he said mildly unto him, -<br> +<br> +“Now why canst thou not apply thyself unto study? Why canst +thou not ask advice of thy superiors in rank and wisdom? In a +few years, under good discipline, thou mightest rise from the owlet +unto the peacock. I know not what pleasant things might not come +into the youthful head thereupon.<br> +<br> +“He was the bird of Venus, <a name="citation39b"></a><a href="#footnote39b">{39b}</a> +goddess of beauty. He flew down (I speak as a poet, and not in +my quality of knight and Christian) with half the stars of heaven upon +his tail; and his long, blue neck doth verily appear a dainty slice +out of the solid sky.”<br> +<br> +Sir Silas smote me with his elbow, and said in my ear, -<br> +<br> +“He wanteth not this stuffing; he beats a pheasant out of the +kitchen, to my mind, take him only at the pheasant’s size, and +don’t (upon your life) overdo him.<br> +<br> +“Never be cast down in spirit, nor take it too ‘grievously +to heart, if the colour be a suspicion of the pinkish, - no sign of +rawness in that; none whatever. It is as becoming to him as to +the salmon; it is as natural to your pea-chick in his best cookery, +as it is to the finest October morning, - moist underfoot, when partridge’s +and puss’s and renard’s scent lies sweetly.”<br> +<br> +Willie Shakspeare, in the mean time, lifted up his hands above his ears +half a cubit, and taking breath again, said, audibly, although he willed +it to be said unto himself alone, -<br> +<br> +“O that knights could deign to be our teachers! Methinks +I should briefly spring up into heaven, through the very chink out of +which the peacock took his neck.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas, who like myself and the worshipful knight, did overhear +him, said angrily, -<br> +<br> +“To spring up into heaven, my lad, it would be as well to have +at least one foot upon the ground to make the spring withal. I +doubt whether we shall leave thee this vantage.”<br> +<br> +“Nay, nay! thou art hard upon him, Silas,” said the knight.<br> +<br> +I was turning over the other papers taken from the pocket of the culprit +on his apprehension, and had fixed my eyes on one, when Sir Thomas caught +them thus occupied, and exclaimed, -<br> +<br> +“ Mercy upon us! have we more?”<br> +<br> +“Your patience, worshipful sir!” said I; “must I forward?”<br> +<br> +“Yea, yea,” quoth he, resignedly, “we must go through; +we are pilgrims in this life.”<br> +<br> +Then did I read, in a clear voice, the contents of paper the second, +being as followeth:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“THE MAID’S LAMENT.<br> +<br> +“I loved him not; and yet, now he is gone,<br> + I feel I am alone.<br> +I check’d him while he spoke; yet, could he speak,<br> + Alas! I would not check.<br> +For reasons not to love him once I sought,<br> + And wearied all my thought<br> +To vex myself and him: I now would give<br> + My love could he but live<br> +Who lately lived for me, and when he found<br> + ’T was vain, in holy ground<br> +He hid his face amid the shades of death!<br> + I waste for him my breath<br> +Who wasted his for me! but mine returns,<br> + And this loin bosom burns<br> +With stifling heat, heaving it up in sleep,<br> + And waking me to weep<br> +Tears that had melted his soft heart. For years<br> + Wept he as bitter tears!<br> +<i>Merciful God</i>! such was his latest prayer,<br> + <i>These may she never share</i>!<br> +Quieter is his breath, his breast more cold,<br> + Than daisies in the mould,<br> +Where children spell, athwart the churchyard gate,<br> + His name and life’s brief date.<br> +Pray for him, gentle souls, whoe’er you be,<br> + And, oh! pray too for me!”<br> +<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas had fallen into a most comfortable and refreshing slumber +ere this lecture was concluded; but the pause broke it, as there be +many who experience after the evening service in our parish-church. +Howbeit, he had presently all his wits about him, and remembered well +that he had been carefully counting the syllables, about the time when +I had pierced as far as into the middle.<br> +<br> +“Young man,” said he to Willy, “thou givest short +measure in every other sack of the load. Thy uppermost stake is +of right length; the undermost falleth off, methinks.<br> +<br> +“Master Ephraim, canst thou count syllables? I mean no offence. +I may have counted wrongfully myself, not being born nor educated for +an accountant.”<br> +<br> +At such order I did count; and truly the suspicion was as just as if +he had neither been a knight nor a sleeper.<br> +<br> +“Sad stuff! sad stuff, indeed!” said Master Silas, “and +smelling of popery and wax-candles.”<br> +<br> +“Ay?” said Sir Thomas, “I must sift that.”<br> +<br> +“If praying for the dead is not popery,” said Master Silas, +“I know not what the devil is. Let them pray for us; they +may know whether it will do us any good. We need not pray for +them; we cannot tell whether it will do them any. I call this +sound divinity.”<br> +<br> +“Are our churchmen all agreed thereupon?” asked Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +“The wisest are,” replied Master Silas.<br> +<br> +“There are some lank rascals who will never agree upon anything +but upon doubting. I would not give ninepence for the best gown +upon the most thrifty of ’em; and their fingers are as stiff and +hard with their pedlary, knavish writing, as any bishop’s are +with chalk-stones won honestly from the gout.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas took the paper up from the table on which I had laid it, +and said after a while, -<br> +<br> +“The man may only have swooned. I scorn to play the critic, +or to ask any one the meaning of a word; but, sirrah!”<br> +<br> +Here he turned in his chair from the side of Master Silas, and said +unto Willy, -<br> +<br> +“William Shakspeare! out of this thraldom in regard to popery, +I hope, by God’s blessing, to deliver thee. If ever thou +repeatest the said verses, knowing the man to be to all intents and +purposes a dead man, prythee read the censurable line as thus corrected, +-<br> +<br> +<br> +‘Pray for our Virgin Queen, gentles! whoe’er you be.’<br> +<br> +<br> +although it is not quite the thing that another should impinge so closely +on her skirts.<br> +<br> +“By this improvement, of me suggested, thou mayest make some amends +- a syllable or two - for the many that are weighed in the balance and +are found wanting.”<br> +<br> +Then turning unto me, as being conversant by my profession in such matters, +and the same being not very worthy of learned and staid clerks the like +of Master Silas, he said, -<br> +<br> +“Of all the youths that did ever write in verse, this one verily +is he who hath the fewest flowers and devices. But it would be +loss of time to form a border, in the fashion of a kingly crown, or +a dragon, or a Turk on horseback, out of buttercups and dandelions.<br> +<br> +“Master Ephraim! look at these badgers! with a long leg on one +quarter and a short leg on the other. The wench herself might +well and truly have said all that matter without the poet, bating the +rhymes and metre. Among the girls in the country there are many +such <i>shilly-shallys</i>, who give themselves sore eyes and sharp +eye-water; I would cure them rod in hand.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did William Shakspeare say, with great humility, -<br> +<br> +“So would I, may it please your worship, an they would let me.”<br> +<br> +“Incorrigible sluts! Out upon ’em! and thou art no +better than they are,” quoth the knight.<br> +<br> +Master Silas cried aloud, “No better, marry! they at the worst +are but carted and whipped for the edification of the market-folks. +<a name="citation44a"></a><a href="#footnote44a">{44a}</a> Not +a squire or parson in the country round but comes in his best to see +a man hanged.”<br> +<br> +“The edification then is higher by a deal,” said William, +very composedly.<br> +<br> +“Troth! is it,” replied Master Silas. “The most +poisonous reptile has the richest jewel in his head; thou shalt share +the richest gift bestowed upon royalty, and shalt cure the king’s +evil.” <a name="citation45a"></a><a href="#footnote45a">{45a}</a><br> +<br> +“It is more tractable, then, than the church’s,” quoth +William; and, turning his face toward the chair, he made an obeisance +to Sir Thomas, saying, -<br> +<br> +“Sir! the more submissive my behaviour is, the more vehement and +boisterous is Master Silas. My gentlest words serve only to carry +him toward the contrary quarter, as the south wind bloweth a ship northward.”<br> +<br> +“Youth,” said Sir Thomas, smiling most benignly, “I +find, and well indeed might I have surmised, thy utter ignorance of +winds, equinoxes, and tides. Consider now a little! With +what propriety can a wind be called a south wind if it bloweth a vessel +to the north? Would it be a south wind that blew it from this +hall into Warwick market-place?”<br> +<br> +“It would be a strong one,” said Master Silas unto me, pointing +his remark, as witty men are wont, with the elbow-pan.<br> +<br> +But Sir Thomas, who waited for an answer, and received none, continued, +-<br> +<br> +“Would a man be called a good man who tended and pushed on toward +evil?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I stand corrected. I could sail to Cathay or Tartary <a name="citation46a"></a><a href="#footnote46a">{46a}</a> +with half the nautical knowledge I have acquired in this glorious hall.<br> +<br> +“The devil impelling a mortal to wrong courses, is thereby known +to be the devil. He, on the contrary, who exciteth to good is +no devil, but an angel of light, or under the guidance of one. +The devil driveth unto his own home; so doth the south wind, so doth +the north wind.<br> +<br> +“Alas! alas! we possess not the mastery over our own weak minds +when a higher spirit standeth nigh and draweth us within his influence.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Those thy words are well enough, - very well, very good, wise, +discreet, judicious beyond thy years. But then that <i>sailing +</i>comes in an awkward, ugly way across me, - that <i>Cathay</i>, that +<i>Tartarus</i>!<br> +<br> +“Have a care! Do thou nothing rashly. Mind! an thou +stealest my punt for the purpose, I send the constable after thee or +e’er thou art half way over.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He would make a stock-fish of me an he caught me. It is +hard sailing out of his straits, although they be carefully laid down +in most parishes, and may have taken them from actual survey.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Sir, we have bestowed on him already well-nigh a good hour of +our time.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, who was always fond of giving admonition and reproof to +the ignorant and erring, and who had found the seeds (little mustard-seeds, +’t is true, and never likely to arise into the great mustard-tree +of the Gospel) in the poor lad Willy, did let his heart soften a whit +tenderer and kindlier than Master Silas did, and said unto Master Silas, +-<br> +<br> +“A good hour of our time! Yea, Silas! and thou wouldst give +<i>him </i>eternity!”<br> +<br> +“What, sir! would you let him go?” said Master Silas. +“Presently we shall have neither deer nor dog, neither hare nor +coney, neither swan nor heron; every carp from pool, every bream from +brook, will be groped for. The marble monuments in the church +will no longer protect the leaden coffins; and if there be any ring +of gold on the finger of knight or dame, it will be torn away with as +little ruth and ceremony as the ring from a butchered sow’s snout.”<br> +<br> +“Awful words! Master Silas,” quoth the knight, musing; +“but thou mistakest my intentions. I let him not go; howbeit, +at worst I would only mark him in the ear, and turn him up again after +this warning, peradventure with a few stripes to boot athwart the shoulders, +in order to make them shrug a little, and shake off the burden of idleness.”<br> +<br> +Now I, having seen, I dare not say the innocence, but the innocent and +simple manner of Willy, and pitying his tender years, and having an +inkling that he was a lad, poor Willy! whom God had endowed with some +parts, and into whose breast he had instilled that milk of loving-kindness +by which alone we can be like unto those little children of whom is +the household and kingdom of our Lord, - I was moved, yea, even unto +tears. And now, to bring gentler thoughts into the hearts of Master +Silas and Sir Thomas, who, in his wisdom, deemed it a light punishment +to slit an ear or two, or inflict a wiry scourging, I did remind his +worship that another paper was yet unread, at least to them, although +I had been perusing it.<br> +<br> +This was much pleasanter than the two former, and overflowing with the +praises of the worthy knight and his gracious lady; and having an echo +to it in another voice, I did hope thereby to disarm their just wrath +and indignation. It was thus couched:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“FIRST SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“Jesu! what lofty elms are here!<br> +Let me look through them at the clear,<br> +Deep sky above, and bless my star<br> +That such a worthy knight’s they are!<br> +<br> +“SECOND SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“Innocent creatures! how those deer<br> +Trot merrily, and romp and rear!<br> +<br> +“FIRST SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“The glorious knight who walks beside<br> +His most majestic lady bride,<br> +<br> +“SECOND SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“Under these branches spreading wide,<br> +<br> +“FIRST SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“Carries about so many cares<br> +Touching his ancestors and heirs,<br> +That came from Athens and from Rome -<br> +<br> +“SECOND SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“As many of them as are come -<br> +<br> +“FIRST SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“Nought else the smallest lodge can find<br> +In the vast manors of his mind;<br> +Envying not Solomon his wit -<br> +<br> +“SECOND SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“No, nor his women not a bit;<br> +Being well-built and well-behavèd<br> +As Solomon, I trow, or David.<br> +<br> +“FIRST SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“And taking by his jewell’d hand<br> +The jewel of that lady bland,<br> +He sees the tossing antlers pass<br> +And throw quaint shadows o’er the grass;<br> +While she alike the hour beguiles,<br> +And looks at him and them, and smiles.<br> +<br> +“SECOND SHEPHERD.<br> +<br> +“With conscience proof ’gainst Satan’s shock,<br> +Albeit finer than her smock, <a name="citation50a"></a><a href="#footnote50a">{50a}</a><br> +Marry! her smiles are not of vanity,<br> +But resting on sound Christianity.<br> +Faith, you would swear, had nail’d <a name="citation50b"></a><a href="#footnote50b">{50b}</a> +her ears on<br> +The book and cushion of the parson.”<br> +<br> +<br> +“Methinks the rhyme at the latter end might be bettered,” +said Sir Thomas. “The remainder is indited not unaptly. +But, young man, never having obtained the permission of my honourable +dame to praise her in guise of poetry, I cannot see all the merit I +would fain discern in the verses. She ought first to have been +sounded; and it being certified that she disapproved not her glorification, +then might it be trumpeted forth into the world below.”<br> +<br> +“Most worshipful knight,” replied the youngster, “I +never could take it in hand to sound a dame of quality, - they are all +of them too deep and too practised for me, and have better and abler +men about ’em. And surely I did imagine to myself that if +it were asked of any honourable man (omitting to speak of ladies) whether +he would give permission to be openly praised, he would reject the application +as a gross offence. It appeareth to me that even to praise one’s +self, although it be shameful, is less shameful than to throw a burning +coal into the incense-box that another doth hold to waft before us, +and then to snift and simper over it, with maidenly, wishful coyness, +as if forsooth one had no hand in setting it asmoke.”<br> +<br> +Then did Sir Thomas, in his zeal to instruct the ignorant, and so make +the lowly hold up their heads, say unto him, -<br> +<br> +“Nay, but all the great do thus. Thou must not praise them +without leave and license. Praise unpermitted is plebeian praise. +It is presumption to suppose that thou knowest enough of the noble and +the great to discover their high qualities. They alone could manifest +them unto thee. It requireth much discernment and much time to +enucleate and bring into light their abstruse wisdom and gravely featured +virtues. Those of ordinary men lie before thee in thy daily walks; +thou mayest know them by converse at their tables, as thou knowest the +little tame squirrel that chippeth his nuts in the open sunshine of +a bowling-green. But beware how thou enterest the awful arbours +of the great, who conceal their magnanimity in the depths of their hearts, +as lions do.”<br> +<br> +He then paused; and observing the youth in deep and earnest meditation +over the fruits of his experience, as one who tasted and who would fain +digest them; he gave him encouragement, and relieved the weight of his +musings by kind interrogation.<br> +<br> +“So, then, these verses are thine own?” The youth +answered, -<br> +<br> +“Sir, I must confess my fault.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And who was the shepherd written here <i>Second Shepherd</i>,<i> +</i>that had the ill manners to interrupt thee? Methinks, in helping +thee to mount the saddle, he pretty nigh tossed thee over, <a name="citation53a"></a><a href="#footnote53a">{53a}</a> +with his jerks and quirks.”<br> +<br> +Without waiting for any answer, his worship continued his interrogations.<br> +<br> +“But do you woolstaplers call yourselves by the style and title +of shepherds?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Verily, sir, do we; and I trust by right. The last owner +of any place is called the master more properly than the dead and gone +who once held it. If that be true (and who doubts it?) we, who +have the last of the sheep, namely, the wool and skin, and who buy all +of all the flock, surely may more properly be called shepherds than +those idle vagrants who tend them only for a season, selling a score +or purchasing a score, as may happen.”<br> +<br> +Here Sir Thomas did pause a while, and then said unto Master Silas, +-<br> +<br> +“My own cogitations, and not this stripling, have induced me to +consider and to conclude a weighty matter for knightly scholarship. +I never could rightly understand before how Colin Clout, and sundry +others calling themselves shepherds, should argue like doctors in law, +physic, and divinity.<br> +<br> +“Silas! they were woolstaplers; and they must have exercised their +wits in dealing with tithe-proctors and parsons, and moreover with fellows +of colleges from our two learned universities, who have sundry lands +held under them, as thou knowest, and take the small tithes in kind. +Colin Clout, methinks, from his extensive learning, might have acquired +enough interest with the Queen’s Highness to change his name for +the better, and, furthermore, her royal license to carry armorial bearings, +in no peril of taint from so unsavoury an appellation.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas did interrupt this discourse, by saying, -<br> +<br> +“May it please your worship, the constable is waiting.”<br> +<br> +Whereat Sir Thomas said, tartly, -<br> +<br> +“And let him wait.” <a name="citation55a"></a><a href="#footnote55a">{55a}</a><br> +<br> +Then to me, -<br> +<br> +“I hope we have done with verses, and are not to be befooled by +the lad’s nonsense touching mermaids or worse creatures.”<br> +<br> +Then to Will, -<br> +<br> +“William Shakspeare! we live in a Christian land, a land of great +toleration and forbearance. Three score cartsful of fagots a year +are fully sufficient to clear our English air from every pestilence +of heresy and witchcraft. It hath not alway been so, God wot! +Innocent and guilty took their turns before the fire, like geese and +capons. The spit was never cold; the cook’s sleeve was ever +above the elbow. Countrymen came down from distant villages into +towns and cities, to see perverters whom they had never heard of, and +to learn the righteousness of hatred. When heretics waxed fewer +the religious began to grumble that God, in losing his enemies, had +also lost his avengers.<br> +<br> +“Do not thou, William Shakspeare, dig the hole for thy own stake. +If thou canst not make men wise, do not make them merry at thy cost. +We are not to be paganised any more. Having struck from our calendars, +and unnailed from our chapels, many dozens of decent saints, with as +little compunction and remorse as unlucky lads throw frog-spawn and +tadpoles out of stagnant ditches, never let us think of bringing back +among us the daintier divinities they ousted. All these are the +devil’s imps, beautiful as they appear in what we falsely call +works of genius, which really and truly are the devil’s own, - +statues more graceful than humanity, pictures more living than life, +eloquence that raised single cities above empires, poor men above kings. +If these are not Satan’s works, where are they? I will tell +thee where they are likewise. In holding vain converse with false +gods. The utmost we can allow in propriety is to call a knight +Phœbus, and a dame Diana. They are not meat for every trencher.<br> +<br> +“We must now proceed straightforward with the business on which +thou comest before us. What further sayest thou, witness?”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“His face was toward me; I saw it clearly. The graver man +followed him into the punt, and said, roughly, ‘We shall get hanged +as sure as thou pipest.’<br> +<br> +“Whereunto he answered, -<br> +<br> +<br> +‘Naturally, as fall upon the ground<br> +The leaves in winter and the girls in spring.’<br> +<br> +<br> +And then began he again with the mermaid; whereat the graver man clapped +a hand before his mouth, and swore he should take her in wedlock, to +have and to hold, if he sang another stave. ‘And thou shalt +be her pretty little bridemaid,’ quoth he gaily to the graver +man, chucking him under the chin.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And what did Carnaby say unto thee, or what didst thou say unto +Carnaby?”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“Carnaby said unto me, somewhat tauntingly, ‘The big squat +man, that lay upon thy bread-basket like a nightmare, is a punt at last, +it seems.’<br> +<br> +“‘Punt, and more too,’ answered I. ‘Tarry +awhile, and thou shalt see this punt (so let me call it) lead them into +temptation, and swamp them or carry them to the gallows; I would not +stay else.’<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And what didst thou, Joseph Carnaby?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Finding him neither slack nor shy, I readily tarried. We +knelt down opposite each other, and said our prayers; and he told me +he was now comfortable. ‘The evil one,’ said he, ‘hath +enough to mind yonder: he shall not hurt us.’<br> +<br> +“Never was a sweeter night, had there been but some mild ale under +it, which any one would have sworn it was made for. The milky +way looked like a long drift of hail-stones on a sunny ridge.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Hast thou done describing?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Yea, an please your worship.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“God’s blessing be upon thee, honest Carnaby! I feared +a moon-fall. In our days nobody can think about a plum-pudding +but the moon comes down upon it. I warrant ye this lad here hath +as many moons in his poems as the Saracens had in their banners.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I have not hatched mine yet, sir. Whenever I do I trust +it will be worth taking to market.”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“I said all I know of the stars; but Master Euseby can run over +half a score and upward, here and there. ‘Am I right, or +wrong?’ cried he, spreading on the back of my hand all his fingers, +stiff as antlers and cold as icicles. ‘Look up, Joseph! +Joseph! there is no Lucifer in the firmament!’ I myself +did feel queerish and qualmy upon hearing that a star was missing, being +no master of gainsaying it; and I abased my eyes, and entreated of Euseby +to do in like manner. And in this posture did we both of us remain; +and the missing star did not disquiet me; and all the others seemed +as if they knew us and would not tell of us; and there was peace and +pleasantness over sky and earth. And I said to my companion, -<br> +<br> +“‘How quiet now, good Master Euseby, are all God’s +creatures in this meadow, because they never pry into such high matters, +but breathe sweetly among the pig-nuts. The only things we hear +or see stirring are the glow-worms and dormice, as though they were +sent for our edification, teaching us to rest contented with our own +little light, and to come out and seek our sustenance where none molest +or thwart us’”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Ye would have it thus, no doubt, when your pockets and pouches +are full of gins and nooses.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“A bridle upon thy dragon’s tongue! And do thou, Master +Joseph, quit the dormice and glow-worms, and tell us whither did the +rogues go.”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“I wot not after they had crossed the river they were soon out +of sight and hearing.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Went they toward Charlecote?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Their first steps were thitherward.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Did they come back unto the punt?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“They went down the stream in it, and crossed the Avon some fourscore +yards below where we were standing. They came back in it, and +moored it to the sedges in which it had stood before.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“How long were they absent?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Within an hour, or thereabout, all the three men returned. +Will Shakspeare and another were sitting in the middle, the third punted.<br> +<br> +“‘Remember now, gentles!’ quoth William Shakspeare, +‘the road we have taken is henceforward a footpath for ever, according +to law.’<br> +<br> +“‘How so?’ asked the punter, turning toward him,<br> +<br> +“‘Forasmuch as a corpse hath passed along it,’ answered +he.<br> +<br> +“Whereupon both Euseby and myself did forthwith fall upon our +faces, commending our souls unto the Lord.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“It was then really the dead body that quivered so fearfully upon +the water, covering all the punt! Christ, deliver us! I +hope the keeper they murdered was not Jeremiah. His wife and four +children would be very chargeable, and the man was by no means amiss. +Proceed! what further?”<br> +<br> +“On reaching the bank, ‘I never sat pleasanter in my lifetime,’ +said William Shakspeare, ‘than upon this carcass.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Lord have mercy upon us! Thou upon a carcass, at thy years!”<br> +<br> +And the knight drew back his chair half an ell farther from the table, +and his lips quivered at the thought of such inhumanity.<br> +<br> +“And what said he more? and what did he?” asked the knight.<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“He patted it smartly, and said, ‘Lug it out; break it.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“These four poor children! who shall feed them?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Sir! in God’s name have you forgotten that Jeremiah is +gone to Nuneaton to see his father, and that the murdered man is the +buck?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“They killed the buck likewise. But what, ye cowardly varlets! +have ye been deceiving me all this time? And thou, youngster! +couldst thou say nothing to clear up the case? Thou shalt smart +for it. Methought I had lost by a violent death the best servant +ever man had - righteous, if there be no blame in saying it, as the +prophet whose name he beareth, and brave as the lion of Judah.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, if these men could deceive your worship for a moment, they +might deceive me for ever. I could not guess what their story +aimed at, except my ruin. I am inclined to lean for once toward +the opinion of Master Silas, and to believe it was really the stolen +buck on which this William (if indeed there is any truth at all in the +story) was sitting.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What more hast thou for me that is not enigma or parable?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“I did not see the carcass, man’s or beast’s, may +it please your worship, and I have recited and can recite that only +which I saw and heard. After the words of lugging out and breaking +it, knives were drawn accordingly. It was no time to loiter or +linger. We crope back under the shadow of the alders and hazels +on the high bank that bordereth Mickle Meadow, and, making straight +for the public road, hastened homeward.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Hearing this deposition, dost thou affirm the like upon thy oath, +Master Euseby Treen, or dost thou vary in aught essential?”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“Upon my oath I do depose and affirm the like, and truly the identical +same; and I will never more vary upon aught essential.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I do now further demand of thee whether thou knowest anything +more appertaining unto this business.”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“Ay, verily; that your worship may never hold me for timorsome +and superstitious, I do furthermore add that some other than deer-stealers +was abroad. In sign whereof, although it was the dryest and clearest +night of the season, my jerkin was damp inside and outside when I reached +my house-door.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I warrant thee, Euseby, the damp began not at the outside. +A word in thy ear - Lucifer was thy tapster, I trow.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Irreverent swine! hast no awe nor shame. Thou hast aggravated +thy offence, William Shakspeare, by thy foul-mouthedness.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I must remind your worship that he not only has committed this +iniquity afore, but hath pawed the puddle he made, and relapsed into +it after due caution and reproof. God forbid that what he spake +against me, out of the gall of his proud stomach, should move me. +I defy him, a low, ignorant wretch, a rogue and vagabond, a thief and +cut-throat, a -- <a name="citation66a"></a><a href="#footnote66a">{66a}</a> +monger and mutton-eater.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Your worship doth hear the learned clerk’s testimony in +my behalf. ‘Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings’ +- ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas, the youth has failings - a madcap; but he is pious.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Alas, no, sir! Would I were! But Sir Silas, like +the prophet, came to curse, and was forced to bless me, even me, a sinner, +a mutton-eater!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou urgedst him. He beareth no ill-will toward thee. +Thou knewedst, I suspect, that the blackness in his mouth proceeded +from a natural cause.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The Lord is merciful! I was brought hither in jeopardy; +I shall return in joy. Whether my innocence be declared or otherwise, +my piety and knowledge will be forwarded and increased; for your worship +will condescend, even from the judgment-seat, to enlighten the ignorant +where a soul shall be saved or lost. And I, even I, may trespass +a moment on your courtesy. I quail at the words <i>natural cause</i>. +Be there any such?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Youth! I never thought thee so staid. Thou hast, +for these many months, been represented unto me as one dissolute and +light, much given unto mummeries and mysteries, wakes and carousals, +cudgel-fighters and mountebanks and wanton women. They do also +represent of thee - I hope it may be without foundation - that thou +enactest the parts, not simply of foresters and fairies, girls in the +green-sickness and friars, lawyers and outlaws, but likewise, having +small reverence for station, of kings and queens, knights and privy-counsellors, +in all their glory. It hath been whispered, moreover, and the +testimony of these two witnesses doth appear in some measure to countenance +and confirm it, that thou hast at divers times this last summer been +seen and heard alone, inasmuch as human eye may discover, on the narrow +slip of greensward between the Avon and the chancel, distorting thy +body like one possessed, and uttering strange language, like unto incantation. +This, however, cometh not before me. Take heed! take heed unto +thy ways; there are graver things in law even than homicide and deer-stealing.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“And strong against him. Folks have been consumed at the +stake for pettier felonies and upon weaker evidence.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“To that anon.”<br> +<br> +William Shakspeare did hold down his head, answering nought. And +Sir Thomas spake again unto him, as one mild and fatherly, if so be +that such a word may be spoken of a knight and parliament-man. +And these are the words he spake:-<br> +<br> +“Reason and ruminate with thyself now. To pass over and +pretermit the danger of representing the actions of the others, and +mainly of lawyers and churchmen, the former of whom do pardon no offences, +and the latter those only against God, having no warrant for more, canst +thou believe it innocent to counterfeit kings and queens? Supposest +thou that if the impression of their faces on a farthing be felonious +and rope-worthy, the imitation of head and body, voice and bearing, +plume and strut, crown and mantle, and everything else that maketh them +royal and glorious, be aught less? Perpend, young man, perpend! +Consider, who among inferior mortals shall imitate them becomingly? +Dreamest thou they talk and act like checkmen at Banbury fair? +How can thy shallow brain suffice for their vast conceptions? +How darest thou say, as they do: ‘Hang this fellow; quarter that; +flay; mutilate; stab; shoot; press; hook; torture; burn alive’? +These are royalties. Who appointed thee to such office? +The Holy Ghost? He alone can confer it; but when wert thou anointed?”<br> +<br> +William was so zealous in storing up these verities that he looked as +though he were unconscious that the pouring-out was over. He started, +which he had not done before, at the voice of Master Silas; but soon +recovered his complacency, and smiled with much serenity at being called +low-minded varlet.<br> +<br> +“Low-minded varlet!” cried Master Silas, most contemptuously, +“dost thou imagine that king calleth king, like thy chums, <i>filcher +</i>and <i>fibber</i>,<i> whirligig </i>and <i>nincompoop</i>? +Instead of this low vulgarity and sordid idleness, ending in nothing, +they throw at one another such fellows as thee by the thousand, and +when they have cleared the land, render God thanks and make peace.”<br> +<br> +Willy did now sigh out his ignorance of these matters; and he sighed, +mayhap, too, at the recollection of the peril he had run into, and had +ne’er a word on the nail. <a name="citation70a"></a><a href="#footnote70a">{70a}</a><br> +<br> +The bowels of Sir Thomas waxed tenderer and tenderer; and he opened +his lips in this fashion:-<br> +<br> +“Stripling! I would now communicate unto thee, on finding +thee docile and assentaneous, the instruction thou needest on the signification +of the words <i>natural cause</i>,<i> </i>if thy duty toward thy neighbour +had been first instilled into thee.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon Master Silas did interpose, for the dinner hour was drawing +nigh.<br> +<br> +“We cannot do all at once,” quoth he. “Coming +out of order, it might harm him. Malt before hops, the world over, +or the beer muddies.”<br> +<br> +But Sir Thomas was not to be pricked out of his form even by so shrewd +a pricker; and like unto one who heareth not, he continued to look most +graciously on the homely vessel that stood ready to receive his wisdom.<br> +<br> +“Thy mind,” said he, “being unprepared for higher +cogitations, and the groundwork and religious duty not being well rammer-beaten +and flinted, I do pass over this supererogatory point, and inform thee +rather, that bucks and swans and herons have something in their very +names announcing them of knightly appurtenance; and (God forfend that +evil do ensue therefrom!) that a goose on the common, or a game-cock +on the loft of a cottager or villager, may be seized, bagged, and abducted, +with far less offence to the laws. In a buck there is something +so gainly and so grand, he treadeth the earth with such ease and such +agility, he abstaineth from all other animals with such punctilious +avoidance, one would imagine God created him when he created knighthood. +In the swan there is such purity, such coldness is there in the element +he inhabiteth, such solitude of station, that verily he doth remind +me of the Virgin Queen herself. Of the heron I have less to say, +not having him about me; but I never heard his lordly croak without +the conceit that it resembled a chancellor’s or a primate’s.<br> +<br> +“I do perceive, William Shakspeare, thy compunction and contrition.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I was thinking, may it please your worship, of the game-cock +and the goose, having but small notion of herons. This doctrine +of abduction, please your worship, hath been alway inculcated by the +soundest of our judges. Would they had spoken on other points +with the same clearness. How many unfortunates might thereby have +been saved from crossing the Cordilleras!” <a name="citation72a"></a><a href="#footnote72a">{72a}</a><br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay, ay! they have been fain to fly the country at last, thither +or elsewhere.”<br> +<br> +And then did Sir Thomas call unto him Master Silas, and say, -<br> +<br> +“Walk we into the bay-window. And thou mayest come, Ephraim.”<br> +<br> +And when we were there together, I, Master Silas, and his worship, did +his worship say unto the chaplain, but oftener looking toward me, -<br> +<br> +“I am not ashamed to avouch that it goeth against me to hang this +young fellow, richly as the offence in its own nature doth deserve it, +he talketh so reasonably; not indeed so reasonably, but so like unto +what a reasonable man may listen to and reflect on. There is so +much, too, of compassion for others in hard cases, and something so +very near in semblance to innocence itself in that airy swing of lightheartedness +about him. I cannot fix my eyes (as one would say) on the shifting +and sudden <i>shade-and-shine</i>,<i> </i>which cometh back to me, do +what I will, and mazes me in a manner, and blinks me.”<br> +<br> +At this juncture I was ready to fall upon the ground before his worship, +and clasp his knees for Willy’s pardon. But he had so many +points about him, that I feared to discompose ’em, and thus make +bad worse. Besides which, Master Silas left me but scanty space +for good resolutions, crying, -<br> +<br> +“He may be committed, to save time. Afterward he may be +sentenced to death, or he may not.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“’T were shame upon me were he not; ’t were indication +that I acted unadvisedly in the commitment.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“The penalty of the law may be commuted, if expedient, on application +to the fountain of mercy in London.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Maybe, Silas, those shall be standing round the fount of mercy +who play in idleness and wantonness with its waters, and let them not +flow widely, nor take their natural course. Dutiful gallants may +encompass it, and it may linger among the flowers they throw into it, +and never reach the parched lip on the wayside.<br> +<br> +“These are homely thoughts - thoughts from a-field, thoughts for +the study and housekeeper’s room. But whenever I have given +utterance unto them, as my heart hath often prompted me with beatings +at the breast, my hearers seemed to bear toward me more true and kindly +affection than my richest fancies and choicest phraseologies could purchase.<br> +<br> +“’T were convenient to bethink thee, should any other great +man’s park have been robbed this season, no judge upon the bench +will back my recommendation for mercy. And, indeed, how could +I expect it? Things may soon be brought to such a pass that their +lordships shall scarcely find three haunches each upon the circuit.”<br> +<br> +“Well, Sir!” quoth Master Silas, “you have a right +to go on in your own way. Make him only give up the girl.”<br> +<br> +Here Sir Thomas reddened with righteous indignation, and answered, -<br> +<br> +“I cannot think it! such a stripling! poor, penniless; it must +be some one else.” And now Master Silas did redden in his +turn, redder than Sir Thomas, and first asked me, -<br> +<br> +“What the devil do you stare at?” And then asked his +worship, -<br> +<br> +“Who should it be if not the rogue?” and his lips turned +as blue as a blue-bell. Then Sir Thomas left the window, and again +took his chair, and having stood so long on his legs, groaned upon it +to ease him. His worship scowled with all his might, and looked +exceedingly wroth and vengeful at the culprit, and said unto him, -<br> +<br> +“Harkye, knave! I have been conferring with my learned clerk +and chaplain in what manner I may, with the least severity, rid the +county (which thou disgracest) of thee.”<br> +<br> +William Shakspeare raised up his eyes, modestly and fearfully, and said +slowly these few words, which, had they been a better and nobler man’s, +would deserve to be written in letters of gold. I, not having +that art nor substance, do therefore write them in my largest and roundest +character, and do leave space about ’em, according to their rank +and dignity<br> +<br> +“Worshipful sir!”<br> +<br> +“A WORD IN THE EAR IS OFTEN AS GOOD AS A HALTER UNDER IT, AND +SAVES THE GROAT.”<br> +<br> +“Thou discoursest well,” said Sir Thomas, “but others +can discourse well likewise. Thou shalt avoid; I am resolute.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I supplicate your honour to impart unto me, in your wisdom, the +mode and means whereby I may surcease to be disgraceful to the county.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I am not bloody-minded.<br> +<br> +“First, thou shalt have the fairest and fullest examination. +Much hath been deposed against thee; something may come forth for thy +advantage. I will not thy death; thou shalt not die.<br> +<br> +“The laws have loopholes, like castles, both to shoot from and +to let folks down.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“That pointed ear would look the better for paring, and that high +forehead can hold many letters.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did William, poor lad! turn deadly pale, but spake not.<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas then abated a whit of his severity, and said, staidly, -<br> +<br> +“Testimony doth appear plain and positive against thee; nevertheless +am I minded and prompted to aid thee myself, in disclosing and unfolding +what thou couldst not of thine own wits, in furtherance of thine own +defence.<br> +<br> +“One witness is persuaded and assured of the evil spirit having +been abroad, and the punt appeared unto him diversely from what it appeared +unto the other.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“If the evil spirit produced one appearance, he might have produced +all, with deference to the graver judgment of your worship.<br> +<br> +“If what seemed <i>punt </i>was <i>devil</i>,<i> </i>what seemed +<i>buck </i>might have been <i>devil </i>too; nay, more easily, the +horns being forthcoming.<br> +<br> +“Thieves and reprobates do resemble him more nearly still; and +it would be hard if he could not make free with their bodies, when he +has their souls already.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“But, then, those voices! and thou thyself, Will Shakspeare!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“O might I kiss the hand of my deliverer, whose clear-sightedness +throweth such manifest and plenary light upon my innocence!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“How so? What light, in God’s name, have I thrown +upon it as yet?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Oh! those voices! those faeries and spirits! whence came they? +None can deal with ’em but the devil, the parson, and witches. +And does not the devil oftentimes take the very form, features, and +habiliments of knights, and bishops, and other good men, to lead them +into temptation and destroy them? or to injure their good name, in failure +of seduction?<br> +<br> +“He is sure of the wicked; he lets them go their ways out of hand.<br> +<br> +“I think your worship once delivered some such observation, in +more courtly guise, which I would not presume to ape. If it was +not your worship, it was our glorious lady the queen, or the wise Master +Walsingham, or the great Lord Cecil. I may have marred and broken +it, as sluts do a pancake, in the turning.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Why! ay, indeed, I had occasion once to remark as much.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“So have I heard in many places; although I was not present when +Matthew Atterend fought about it for the honour of Kineton hundred.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Fought about it!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“As your honour recollects. Not but on other occasions he +would have fought no less bravely for the queen.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“We must get thee through, were it only for thy memory, - the +most precious gift among the mental powers that Providence hath bestowed +upon us. I had half forgotten the thing myself. Thou mayest, +in time, take thy satchel for London, and aid good old Master Holingshed.<br> +<br> +“We must clear thee, Will! I am slow to surmise that there +is blood upon thy hands!”<br> +<br> +His worship’s choler had all gone down again; and he sat as cool +and comfortable as a man sitteth to be shaved. Then called he +on Euseby Treen, and said, -<br> +<br> +“Euseby Treen! tell us whether thou observedst anything unnoticed +or unsaid by the last witness.”<br> +<br> +EUSEBY TREEN.<br> +<br> +“One thing only, sir!<br> +<br> +“When they had passed the water an owlet hooted after them; and +methought, if they had any fear of God before their eyes they would +have turned back, he cried so lustily.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, I cannot forbear to take the owlet out of your mouth. +He knocks them all on the head like so many mice. Likely story! +One fellow hears him cry lustily, the other doth not hear him at all!”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“Not hear him! A body might have heard him at Barford or +Sherbourne.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Why didst not name him? Canst not answer me?”<br> +<br> +JOSEPH CARNABY.<br> +<br> +“<i>He </i>doubted whether punt were punt; I doubted whether owlet +were owlet, after Lucifer was away from the roll-call.<br> +<br> +“We say, <i>Speak the truth and shame the devil</i>;<i> </i>but +shaming him is one thing, your honour, and facing him another! +I have heard owlets, but never owlet like him.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The Lord be praised! All, at last, a-running to my rescue.<br> +<br> +“Owlet, indeed! Your worship may have remembered in an ancient +book - indeed, what book is so ancient that your worship doth not remember +it? - a book printed by Doctor Faustus - ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Before he dealt with the devil?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Not long before, it being the very book that made the devil think +it worth his while to deal with him.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What chapter thereof wouldst thou recall unto my recollection?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“That concerning owls, with the grim print afore it.<br> +<br> +“Doctor Faustus, the wise doctor, who knew other than owls and +owlets, knew the tempter in that form. Faustus was not your man +for fancies and figments; and he tells us that, to his certain knowledge, +it was verily an owl’s face that whispered so much mischief in +the ear of our first parent.<br> +<br> +“One plainly sees it, quoth Doctor Faustus, under that gravity +which in human life we call dignity, but of which we read nothing in +the Gospel. We despise the hangman, we detest the hanged; and +yet, saith Duns Scotus, could we turn aside the heavy curtain, or stand +high enough a-tiptoe to peep through its chinks and crevices, we should +perhaps find these two characters to stand justly among the most innocent +in the drama. He who blinketh the eyes of the poor wretch about +to die doeth it out of mercy; those who preceded him, bidding him in +the garb of justice to shed the blood of his fellow-man, had less or +none. So they hedge well their own grounds, what care they? +For this do they catch at stakes and thorns, at quick and rotten - ”<br> +<br> +Here Master Silas interrupted the discourse of the devil’s own +doctor, delivered and printed by him before he was the devil’s, +to which his worship had listened very attentively and delightedly. +But Master Silas could keep his temper no longer, and cried, fiercely, +“Seditious sermonizer! hold thy peace, or thou shalt answer for +’t before convocation.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas! thou dost not approve, then, the doctrine of this Doctor +Duns?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Heretical Rabbi!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“<i>If two of a trade can never agree</i>,<i> </i>yet surely two +of a name may.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Who dares call me heretical? who dares call me rabbi? who dares +call me Scotus? Spider! spider! yea, thou hast one corner left; +I espy thee, and my broom shall reach thee yet.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I perceive that Master Silas doth verily believe I have been +guilty of suborning the witnesses, at least the last, the best man (if +any difference) of the two. No, sir, no. If my family and +friends have united their wits and money for this purpose, be the crime +of perverted justice on their heads! They injure whom they intended +to serve. Improvident men! - if the young may speak thus of the +elderly; could they imagine to themselves that your worship was to be +hoodwinked and led astray?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“No man shall ever dare to hoodwink me, to lead me astray, - no, +nor lead me anywise. Powerful defence! Heyday! Sit +quiet, Master Treen! - Euseby Treen! dost hear me? Clench thy +fist again, sirrah! and I clap thee in the stocks.<br> +<br> +“Joseph Carnaby! do not scratch thy breast nor thy pate before +me.”<br> +<br> +Now Joseph had not only done that in his wrath, but had unbuckled his +leathern garter, fit instrument for strife and blood, and peradventure +would have smitten, had not the knight, with magisterial authority, +interposed.<br> +<br> +His worship said unto him, gravely, -<br> +<br> +“Joseph Carnaby! Joseph Carnaby! hast thou never read the +words ‘<i>Put up thy sword</i>’?”<br> +<br> +“Subornation! your worship!” cried Master Joe. “The +fellow hath ne’er a shilling in leather or till, and many must +go to suborn one like me.”<br> +<br> +“I do believe it of thee,” said Sir Thomas; “but patience, +man! patience! he rather tended toward exculpating thee. Ye have +far to walk for dinner; ye may depart.”<br> +<br> +They went accordingly.<br> +<br> +Then did Sir Thomas say, “These are hot men, Silas!”<br> +<br> +And Master Silas did reply unto him, -<br> +<br> +“There are brands that would set fire to the bulrushes in the +mill-pool. I know these twain for quiet folks, having coursed +with them over Wincott.<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas then said unto William, “It behooveth thee to stand +clear of yon Joseph, unless when thou mayest call to thy aid the Matthew +Atterend thou speakest of. He did then fight valiantly, eh?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“His cause fought valiantly; his fist but seconded it. He +won, - proving the golden words to be no property of our lady’s, +although her Highness hath never disclaimed them.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What art thou saying?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“So I heard from a preacher at Oxford, who had preached at Easter +in the chapel-royal of Westminster.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou! why, how could that happen? Oxford! chapel-royal!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“And to whom I said (your worship will forgive my forwardness), +<i>‘I have the honour</i>,<i> sir</i>,<i> to live within two measured +miles of the very Sir Thomas Lucy who spake that</i>.’ And +I vow I said it without any hope or belief that he would invite me, +as he did, to dine with him thereupon.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“There be nigh upon three miles betwixt this house and Stratford +bridge-end.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I dropt a mile in my pride and exultation, God forgive me! +I would not conceal my fault.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Wonderful! that a preacher so learned as to preach before majesty +in the chapel-royal should not have caught thee tripping over a whole +lawful mile, - a good third of the distance between my house and the +cross-roads. This is incomprehensible in a scholar.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“God willed that he should become my teacher, and in the bowels +of his mercy hid my shame.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“How camest thou into the converse of such eminent and ghostly +men?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“How, indeed? - everything against me!”<br> +<br> +He sighed, and entered into a long discourse, which Master Silas would +at sundry times have interrupted, but that Sir Thomas more than once +frowned upon him, even as he had frowned heretofore on young Will, who +thus began and continued his narration:-<br> +<br> +“Hearing the preacher preach at Saint Mary’s (for being +about my father’s business on Saturday, and not choosing to be +a-horseback on Sundays, albeit time-pressed, I footed it to Oxford for +my edification on the Lord’s day, leaving the sorrel with Master +Hal Webster of the <i>Tankard and Unicorn</i>) - hearing him preach, +as I was saying, before the University in St. Mary’s Church, and +hearing him use moreover the very words that Matthew fought about, I +was impatient (God forgive me!) for the end and consummation, and I +thought I never should hear those precious words that ease every man’s +heart, ‘<i>Now to conclude</i>.’ However, come they +did. I hurried out among the foremost, and thought the congratulations +of the other doctors and dons would last for ever. He walked sharply +off, and few cared to keep his pace, - for they are lusty men mostly; +and spiteful bad women had breathed <a name="citation89a"></a><a href="#footnote89a">{89a}</a> +in the faces of some among them, or the gowns had got between their +legs. For my part, I was not to be balked; so, tripping on aside +him, I looked in his face askance. Whether he misgave or how, +he turned his eyes downward. No matter - have him I would. +I licked my lips and smacked them loud and smart, and scarcely venturing +to nod, I gave my head such a sort of motion as dace and roach give +an angler’s quill when they begin to bite. And this fairly +hooked him.”<br> +<br> +“‘Young gentleman!’ said he, ‘where is your +gown?’<br> +<br> +“‘Reverend sir!’ said I, ‘I am unworthy to wear +one.’<br> +<br> +“‘A proper youth, nevertheless, and mightily well-spoken!’ +he was pleased to say.<br> +<br> +“‘Your reverence hath given me heart, which failed me,’ +was my reply. ‘Ah! your reverence! those words about the +devil were spicy words; but, under favour, I do know the brook-side +they sprang and flowered by. ’T is just where it runs into +Avon; ’t is called Hogbrook.’<br> +<br> +“‘Right!’ quoth he, putting his hand gently on my +shoulder; ‘but if I had thought it needful to say so in my sermon, +I should have affronted the seniors of the University, since many claim +them, and some peradventure would fain transpose them into higher places, +and giving up all right and title to them, would accept in lieu thereof +the poor recompense of a mitre.’<br> +<br> +“I wished (unworthy wish for a Sunday!) I had Matthew Atterend +in the midst of them. He would have given them skulls mitre-fashioned, +if mitres are cloven now as we see them on ancient monuments. +Matt is your milliner for gentles, who think no more harm of purloining +rich saws in a mitre than lane-born boys do of embezzling hazel-nuts +in a woollen cap. I did not venture to expound or suggest my thoughts, +but feeling my choler rise higher and higher, I craved permission to +make my obeisance and depart.<br> +<br> +“‘Where dost thou lodge, young man?’ said the preacher.<br> +<br> +“‘At the public,’ said I, ‘where my father customarily +lodgeth. There, too, is a mitre of the old fashion, swinging on +the sign-post in the middle of the street.’<br> +<br> +“‘Respectable tavern enough!’ quoth the reverend doctor; +‘and worthy men do turn in there, even quality, - Master Davenant, +Master Powel, Master Whorwood, aged and grave men. But taverns +are Satan’s chapels, and are always well attended on the Lord’s +day, to twit him. Hast thou no friend in such a city as Oxford?’<br> +<br> +“‘Only the landlady of the Mitre,’ said I.<br> +<br> +“‘A comely woman,’ quoth he, ‘but too young +for business by half.<br> +<br> +“‘Stay thou with me to-day, and fare frugally, but safely.<br> +<br> +“‘What may thy name be, and where is thy abode?’<br> +<br> +“‘William Shakspeare, of Stratford-upon-Avon, at your service, +sir.’<br> +<br> +“‘And welcome,’ said he; ‘thy father ere now +hath bought our college wool. A truly good man we ever found him; +and I doubt not he hath educated his son to follow him in his paths. +There is in the blood of man, as in the blood of animals, that which +giveth the temper and disposition. These require nurture and culture. +But what nurture will turn flint-stones into garden mould? or what culture +rear cabbages in the quarries of Hedington Hill? To be well born +is the greatest of all God’s primary blessings, young man, and +there are many well born among the poor and needy. Thou art not +of the indigent and destitute, who have great temptations; thou art +not of the wealthy and affluent, who have greater still. God hath +placed thee, William Shakspeare, in that pleasant island, on one side +whereof are the sirens, on the other the harpies, but inhabiting the +coasts on the wider continent, and unable to make their talons felt, +or their voices heard by thee. Unite with me in prayer and thanksgiving +for the blessings thus vouchsafed. We must not close the heart +when the finger of God would touch it. Enough, if thou sayest +only, <i>My soul</i>,<i> praise thou the Lord</i>!’”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas said, “<i>Amen</i>!” Master Silas was mute +for the moment, but then quoth he, “I can say amen too in the +proper place.”<br> +<br> +The knight of Charlecote, who appeared to have been much taken with +this conversation, then interrogated Willy:-<br> +<br> +“What farther might have been thy discourse with the doctor? or +did he discourse at all at trencher-time? Thou must have been +very much abashed to sit down at table with one who weareth a pure lambskin +across his shoulder, and moreover a pink hood.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Faith! was I, your honour! and could neither utter nor gulp.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“These are good signs. Thou hast not lost all grace.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“With the encouragement of Dr. Glaston - ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And was it Dr. Glaston?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Said I not so?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“The learnedst clerk in Christendom! a very Friar Bacon! +The Pope offered a hundred marks in Latin to who should eviscerate or +evirate him, - poisons very potent, whereat the Italians are handy, +- so apostolic and desperate a doctor is Doctor Glaston! so acute in +his quiddities, and so resolute in his bearing! He knows the dark +arts, but stands aloof from them. Prithee, what were his words +unto thee?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Manna, sir, manna! pure from the desert!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay, but what spake he? for most sermons are that, and likewise +many conversations after dinner.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He spake of the various races and qualities of men, as before +stated; but chiefly on the elect and reprobate, and how to distinguish +and know them.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Did he go so far?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He told me that by such discussion he should say enough to keep +me constantly out of evil company.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“See there! see there! and yet thou art come before me! - Can +nothing warn thee?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I dare not dissemble, nor feign, nor hold aught back, although +it be to my confusion. As well may I speak at once the whole truth +for your worship could find it out if I abstained.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay, that I should indeed, and shortly. But, come now, I +am sated of thy follies and roguish tricks, and yearn after the sound +doctrine of that pious man. What expounded the grave Glaston upon +signs and tokens whereby ye shall be known?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Wonderful things! things beyond belief! ‘There be +certain men,’ quoth he - ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“He began well. This promises. But why canst not thou +go on?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘There be certain men, who, rubbing one corner of the eye, +do see a peacock’s feather at the other, and even fire. +We know, William, what that fire is, and whence it cometh. Those +wicked men, William, all have their marks upon them, be it only a corn, +or a wart, or a mole, or a hairy ear, or a toe-nail turned inward. +Sufficient, and more than sufficient! He knoweth his own by less +tokens. There is not one of them that doth not sweat at some secret +sin committed, or some inclination toward it unsnaffled.<br> +<br> +“‘Certain men are there, likewise, who venerate so little +the glorious works of the Creator that I myself have known them to sneeze +at the sun! Sometimes it was against their will, and they would +gladly have checked it had they been able; but they were forced to shew +what they are. In our carnal state we say, <i>What is one against +numbers</i>? In another we shall truly say, <i>What are numbers +against one</i>?’”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas did ejaculate, “<i>Amen</i>! <i>Amen</i>!” +And then his lips moved silently, piously, and quickly; and then said +he, audibly and loudly, -<br> +<br> +“<i>And make us at last true Israelites</i>!”<br> +<br> +After which he turned to young Willy, and said, anxiously, -<br> +<br> +“Hast thou more, lad? give us it while the Lord strengtheneth.”<br> +<br> +“Sir,” answered Willy, “although I thought it no trouble, +on my return to the <i>Mitre</i>,<i> </i>to write down every word I +could remember, and although few did then escape me, yet at this present +I can bring to mind but scanty sentences, and those so stray and out +of order that they would only prove my incapacity for sterling wisdom, +and my incontinence of spiritual treasure.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Even that sentence hath a twang of the doctor in it. Nothing +is so sweet as humility. The mountains may descend, but the valleys +cannot rise. Every man should know himself. Come, repeat +what thou canst. I would fain have three or four more heads.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I know not whether I can give your worship more than one other. +Let me try. It was when Doctor Glaston was discoursing on the +protection the wise and powerful should afford to the ignorant and weak:-<br> +<br> +“‘In the earlier ages of mankind, your Greek and Latin authors +inform you, there went forth sundry worthies, men of might, to deliver, +not wandering damsels, albeit for those likewise they had stowage, but +low-conditioned men, who fell under the displeasure of the higher, and +groaned in thraldom and captivity. And these mighty ones were +believed to have done such services to poor humanity that their memory +grew greater than they, as shadows do than substances at day-fall. +And the sons and grandsons of the delivered did laud and magnify those +glorious names; and some in gratitude, and some in tribulation, did +ascend the hills, which appeared unto them as altars bestrown with flowers +and herbage for heaven’s acceptance. And many did go far +into the quiet groves, under lofty trees, looking for whatever was mightiest +and most protecting. And in such places did they cry aloud unto +the mighty who had left them, “<i>Return</i>! <i>return</i>! <i>help +us</i>! <i>help us</i>! <i>be blessed</i>! <i>for ever blessed</i>!”<br> +<br> +“‘Vain men! but had they stayed there, not evil. Out +of gratitude, purest gratitude, rose idolatry. For the devil sees +the fairest, and soils it.<br> +<br> +“‘In these our days, methinks, whatever other sins we may +fall into, such idolatry is the least dangerous. For neither on +the one side is there much disposition for gratitude, nor on the other +much zeal to deliver the innocent and oppressed. Even this deliverance, +although a merit, and a high one, is not the highest. Forgiveness +is beyond it. Forgive, or ye shall not be forgiven. This +ye may do every day; for if ye find not offences, ye feign them; and +surely ye may remove your own work, if ye may re-remove another’s. +To rescue requires more thought and wariness; learn, then, the easier +lesson first. Afterward, when ye rescue any from another’s +violence, or from his own (which oftentimes is more dangerous, as the +enemies are within not only the penetrals of his house but of his heart), +bind up his wounds before ye send him on his way. Should ye at +any time overtake the erring, and resolve to deliver him up, I will +tell you whither to conduct him. Conduct him to his Lord and Master, +whose household he hath left. It is better to consign him to Christ +his Saviour than to man his murderer; it is better to bid him live than +to bid him die. The one word our Teacher and Preserver said, the +other our enemy and destroyer. Bring him back again, the stray, +the lost one bring him back, not with clubs and cudgels, not with halberts +and halters, but generously and gently, and with the linking of the +arm. In this posture shall God above smile upon ye; in this posture +of yours he shall recognize again his beloved Son upon earth. +Do ye likewise, and depart in peace.’”<br> +<br> +William had ended, and there was silence in the hall for some time after, +when Sir Thomas said, -<br> +<br> +“He spake unto somewhat mean persons, who may do it without disparagement. +I look for authority, I look for doctrine, and find none yet. +If he could not have drawn us out a thread or two from the coat of an +apostle, he might have given us a smack of Augustin, or a sprig of Basil. +Our older sermons are headier than these, Master Silas! our new beer +is the sweeter and clammier, and wants more spice. The doctor +hath seasoned his with pretty wit enough, to do him justice, which in +a sermon is never out of place; for if there be the bane, there likewise +is the antidote.<br> +<br> +“What dost thou think about it, Master Silas?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“1 would not give ten farthings for ten folios of such sermons.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“These words, Master Silas, will oftener be quoted than any others +of thine; but rarely (do I suspect) as applicable to Doctor Glaston. +I must stick unto his gown. I must declare that, to my poor knowledge, +many have been raised to the bench of bishops for less wisdom and worse +than is contained in the few sentences I have been commanded by authority +to recite. No disparagement to any body I know, Master Silas, +and multitudes bear witness, that thou above most art a dead hand at +a sermon.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Touch my sermons, wilt dare?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Nay, Master Silas, be not angered; it is courage enough to hear +them.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Now, Silas, hold thy peace and rest contented. He hath +excused himself unto thee, throwing in a compliment far above his station, +and not unworthy of Rome or Florence. I did not think him so ready. +Our Warwickshire lads are fitter for football than courtesies; and, +sooth to say, not only the inferior.”<br> +<br> +His worship turned from Master Silas toward William, and said, “Brave +Willy, thou hast given us our bitters; we are ready now for any thing +solid. What hast left?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Little or nothing, sir.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Well, give us that little or nothing.”<br> +<br> +William Shakspeare was obedient to the commands of Sir Thomas, who had +spoken thus kindly unto him, and had deigned to cast at him from his +<i>lordly dish </i>(as the Psalmist hath it) a fragment of facetiousness.<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Alas, sir! may I repeat it without offence, it not being doctrine +but admonition, and meant for me only?”<br> +<br> +“Speak it the rather for that,” quoth Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +Then did William give utterance to the words of the preacher, not indeed +in his sermon at St. Mary’s, but after dinner.<br> +<br> +“‘Lust seizeth us in youth, ambition in midlife, avarice +in old age; but vanity and pride are the besetting sins that drive the +angels from our cradle, pamper us with luscious and most unwholesome +food, ride our first stick with us, mount our first horse with us, wake +with us in the morning, dream with us in the night, and never at any +time abandon us. In this world, beginning with pride and vanity, +we are delivered over from tormentor to tormentor, until the worst tormentor +of all taketh absolute possession of us for ever, seizing us at the +mouth of the grave, enchaining us in his own dark dungeon, standing +at the door, and laughing at our cries. But the Lord, out of his +infinite mercy, hath placed in the hand of every man the helm to steer +his course by, pointing it out with his finger, and giving him strength +as well as knowledge to pursue it.<br> +<br> +“‘William! William! there is in the moral straits a current +from right to wrong, but no re-flux from wrong to right; for which destination +we must hoist our sails aloft and ply our oars incessantly, or night +and the tempest will overtake us, and we shall shriek out in vain from +the billows, and irrecoverably sink.’”<br> +<br> +“Amen!” cried Sir Thomas most devoutly, sustaining his voice +long and loud.<br> +<br> +“Open that casement, good Silas! the day is sultry for the season +of the year; it approacheth unto noontide. The room is close, +and those blue flies do make a strange hubbub.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“In troth do they, sir; they come from the kitchen, and do savour +woundily of roast goose! And, methinks - ”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What bethinkest thou?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The fancy of a moment, - a light and vain one.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou relievest me; speak it!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“How could the creatures cast their coarse rank odour thus far? +- even into your presence! A noble and spacious hall! Charlecote, +in my mind, beats Warwick Castle, and challenges Kenilworth.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“The hall is well enough; I must say it is a noble hall, - a hall +for a queen to sit down in. And I stuffed an arm-chair with horse-hair +on purpose, feathers over it, swan-down over them again, and covered +it with scarlet cloth of Bruges, five crowns the short ell. But +her highness came not hither; she was taken short; she had a tongue +in her ear.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Where all is spring, all is buzz and murmur.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Quaint and solid as the best yew hedge. I marvel at thee. +A knight might have spoken it, under favour. They stopped her +at Warwick - to see what? two old towers that don’t match, <a name="citation105a"></a><a href="#footnote105a">{105a}</a> +and a portcullis that (people say) opens only upon fast-days. +Charlecote Hall, I could have told her sweet Highness, was built by +those Lucys who came over with Julius Cæsar and William the Conqueror, +with cross and scallop-shell on breast and beaver.”<br> +<br> +“But, <i>honest Willy</i>!? - ”<br> +<br> +Such were the very words; I wrote them down with two signs in the margent, +- one a mark of admiration, as thus (!), the other of interrogation +(so we call it) as thus (?).<br> +<br> +“But, honest Willy, I would fain hear more,” quoth he, “about +the learned Doctor Glaston. He seemeth to be a man after God’s +own heart.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Ay is he! Never doth he sit down to dinner but he readeth +first a chapter of the Revelation; and if he tasteth a pound of butter +at Carfax, he saith a grace long enough to bring an appetite for a baked +bull’s <a name="citation106a"></a><a href="#footnote106a">{106a}</a> +--zle. If this be not after God’s own heart, I know not +what is.”<br> +*** Corrected and spell-checked to here - page 107 ***<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I would fain confer with him, but that Oxford lieth afar off, +- a matter of thirty miles, I hear. I might, indeed, write unto +him; but our Warwickshire pens are mighty broad-nibbed, and there is +a something in this plaguy ink of ours sadly ropy - ”<br> +<br> +“I fear there is,” quoth Willy.<br> +<br> +“And I should scorn,” continued his worship, “to write +otherwise than in a fine Italian character to the master of a college, +near in dignity to knighthood.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Worshipful sir! is there no other way of communicating but by +person, or writing, or messages?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I will consider and devise. At present I can think of none +so satisfactory.”<br> +<br> +And now did the great clock over the gateway strike. And Bill +Shakspeare did move his lips, even as Sir Thomas had moved his erewhile +in ejaculating. And when he had wagged them twice or thrice after +the twelve strokes of the clock were over, again he ejaculated with +voice also, saying, -<br> +<br> +“Mercy upon us! how the day wears! Twelve strokes! +Might I retire, please your worship, into the chapel for about three +quarters of an hour, and perform the service <a name="citation108a"></a><a href="#footnote108a">{108a}</a> +as ordained?”<br> +<br> +Before Sir Thomas could give him leave or answer, did Sir Silas cry +aloud, -<br> +<br> +“He would purloin the chalice, worth forty-eight shillings, and +melt it down in the twinkling of an eye, he is so crafty.”<br> +<br> +But the knight was more reasonable, and said, reprovingly, -<br> +<br> +“There now, Silas! thou talkest widely, and verily in malice, +if there be any in thee.”<br> +<br> +“Try him,” answered Master Silas; “I don’t kneel +where he does. Could he have but his wicked will of me he would +chop my legs off, as he did the poor buck’s.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“No, no, no; he hath neither guile nor revenge in him. We +may let him have his way, now that he hath taken the right one.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Popery! sheer popery! strong as harts-horn! Your papists +keep these outlandish hours for their masses and mummery. Surely +we might let God alone at twelve o’clock! Have we no bowels?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Gracious sir! I do not urge it; and the time is now past +by some minutes.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Art thou popishly inclined, William?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, I am not popishly inclined; I am not inclined to pay tribute +of coin or understanding to those who rush forward with a pistol at +my breast, crying, ‘<i>Stand</i>,<i> or you are a dead man</i>.’ +I have but one guide in faith, - a powerful, an almighty one. +He will not suffer to waste away and vanish the faith for which he died. +He hath chosen in all countries pure hearts for its depositaries; and +I would rather take it from a friend and neighbour, intelligent and +righteous, and rejecting lucre, than from some foreigner educated in +the pride of cities or in the moroseness of monasteries, who sells me +what Christ gave me, - his own flesh and blood.<br> +<br> +“I can repeat by heart what I read above a year agone, albeit +I cannot bring to mind the title of the book in which I read it. +These are the words, -<br> +<br> +“‘The most venal and sordid of all the superstitions that +have swept and darkened our globe may, indeed, like African locusts, +have consumed the green corn in very extensive regions, and may return +periodically to consume it; but the strong, unwearied labourer who sowed +it hath alway sown it in other places less exposed to such devouring +pestilences. Those cunning men who formed to themselves the gorgeous +plan of universal dominion were aware that they had a better chance +of establishing it than brute ignorance or brute force could supply, +and that soldiers and their paymasters were subject to other and powerfuller +fears than the transitory ones of war and invasion. What they +found in heaven they seized; what they wanted they forged.<br> +<br> +“‘And so long as there is vice and ignorance in the world, +so long as fear is a passion, their dominion will prevail; but their +dominion is not, and never shall be, universal. Can we wonder +that it is so general? Can we wonder that anything is wanting +to give it authority and effect, when every learned, every prudent, +every powerful, every ambitious man in Europe, for above a thousand +years, united in the league to consolidate it?<br> +<br> +“‘The old dealers in the shambles, where Christ’s +body is exposed for sale in convenient marketable slices, <a name="citation111a"></a><a href="#footnote111a">{111a}</a> +have not covered with blood and filth the whole pavement. Beautiful +usages are remaining still, - kindly affections, radiant hopes, and +ardent aspirations!<br> +<br> +“‘It is a comfortable thing to reflect, as they do, and +as we may do unblamably, that we are uplifting to our Guide and Maker +the same incense of the heart, and are uttering the very words, which +our dearest friends in all quarters of the earth, nay in heaven itself, +are offering to the throne of grace at the same moment.<br> +<br> +“‘Thus are we together through the immensity of space. +What are these bodies? Do they unite us? No; they keep us +apart and asunder even while we touch. Realms and oceans, worlds +and ages, open before two spirits bent on heaven. What a choir +surrounds us when we resolve to live unitedly and harmoniously in Christian +faith!’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Now, Silas, what sayest thou?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Ignorant fool!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Ignorant fools are bearable, Master Silas! your wise ones are +the worst.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Prithee no bandying of loggerheads.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Or else what mortal man shall say<br> +Whose shins may suffer in the fray?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou reasonest aptly and timest well. And surely, being +now in so rational and religious a frame of mind, thou couldst recall +to memory a section or head or two of the sermon holden at St. Mary’s. +It would do thee and us as much good as <i>Lighten our darkness</i>,<i> +</i>or <i>Forasmuch as it hath pleased</i>;<i> </i>and somewhat less +than three quarters of an hour (maybe less than one quarter) sufficeth.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Or he hangs without me. I am for dinner in half the time.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas! Silas! he hangeth not with thee or without thee.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“He thinketh himself a clever fellow; but he (look ye) is the +cleverest that gets off.”<br> +<br> +“I hold quite the contrary,” quoth Will Shakspeare, winking +at Master Silas from the comfort and encouragement he had just received +touching the hanging.<br> +<br> +And Master Silas had his answer ready, and shewed that he was more than +a match for poor Willy in wit and poetry.<br> +<br> +He answered thus:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“If winks are wit,<br> +Who wanteth it?<br> +<br> +<br> +Thou hadst other bolts to kill bucks withal. In wit, sirrah, thou +art a mere child.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Little dogs are jealous of children, great ones fondle them.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“An that were written in the Apocrypha, in the very teeth of Bel +and the Dragon, it could not be truer. I have witnessed it with +my own eyes over and over.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“He will take this for wit, likewise, now the arms of Lucy do +seal it.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas, they may stamp wit, they may further wit, they may send +wit into good company, but not make it.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Behold my wall of defence!”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“An thou art for walls, I have one for thee from Oxford, pithy +and apposite, sound and solid, and trimmed up becomingly, as a collar +of brawn with a crown of rosemary, or a boar’s head with a lemon +in the mouth.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Egad, Master Silas, those are your walls for lads to climb over, +an they were higher than Babel’s.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Have at thee!”<br> +<br> +<br> +“Thou art a wall<br> +To make the ball<br> + Rebound from.<br> +<br> +“Thou hast a back<br> +For beadle’s crack<br> + To sound from, to sound from.<br> +<br> +<br> +The foolishest dolts are the ground-plot of the most wit, as the idlest +rogues are of the most industry. Even thou hast brought wit down +from Oxford. And before a thief is hanged, parliament must make +laws, attorneys must engross them, printers stamp and publish them, +hawkers cry them, judges expound them, juries weigh and measure them +with offences, then executioners carry them into effect. The farmer +hath already sown the hemp, the ropemaker hath twisted it; sawyers saw +the timber, carpenters tack together the shell, grave-diggers delve +the earth. And all this truly for fellows like unto thee.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Whom a God came down from heaven to save.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas! he hangeth not. William, I must have the heads of +the sermon, six or seven of ’em; thou hast whetted my appetite +keenly. How! dost duck thy pate into thy hat? nay, nay, that is +proper and becoming at church; we need not such solemnity. Repeat +unto us the setting forth at St. Mary’s.”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did William Shakspeare entreat of Master Silas that he would +help him in his ghostly endeavours, by repeating what he called the +<i>preliminary </i>prayer; which prayer I find nowhere in our ritual, +and do suppose it to be one of those Latin supplications used in our +learned universities now or erewhile.<br> +<br> +I am afeard it hath not the approbation of the strictly orthodox, for +inasmuch as Master Silas at such entreaty did close his teeth against +it, and with teeth thus closed did say, Athanasiuswise, “Go and +be damned!”<br> +<br> +Bill was not disheartened, but said he hoped better, and began thus:-<br> +<br> +“‘My brethren!’ said the preacher, ‘or rather +let me call you my children, such is my age confronted with yours, for +the most part, - my children, then, and my brethren (for here are both), +believe me, killing is forbidden.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“This, not being delivered unto us from the pulpit by the preacher +himself, we may look into. Sensible man! shrewd reasoner! +What a stroke against deer-stealers! how full of truth and ruth! +Excellent discourse!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The last part was the best.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I always find it so. The softest of the cheesecake is left +in the platter when the crust is eaten. He kept the best bit for +the last, then? He pushed it under the salt, eh? He told +thee - ”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Exactly so.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What was it?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘Ye shall not kill.’<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“How I did he run in a circle like a hare? One of his mettle +should break cover and off across the country like a fox or hart.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘And yet ye kill time when ye can, and are uneasy when +ye cannot.’”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did Sir Thomas say, aside unto himself, but within my hearing, +-<br> +<br> +“Faith and troth! he must have had a head in at the window here +one day or other.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘This sin cryeth unto the Lord.’<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“He was wrong there. It is not one of those that cry; mortal +sins cry. Surely he could not have fallen into such an error! +it must be thine; thou misunderstoodest him.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Mayhap, sir! A great heaviness came over me; I was oppressed +in spirit, and did feel as one awakening from a dream.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Godlier men than thou art do often feel the right hand of the +Lord upon their heads in like manner. It followeth contrition, +and precedeth conversion. Continue.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘My brethren and children,’ said the teacher, ‘whenever +ye want to kill time call God to the chase, and bid the angels blow +the horn; and thus ye are sure to kill time to your heart’s content. +And ye may feast another day, and another after that - ’”<br> +<br> +Then said Master Silas unto me, concernedly,<br> +<br> +“This is the mischief-fullest of all the devil’s imps, to +talk in such wise at a quarter past twelve!”<br> +<br> +But William went straight on, not hearing him,<br> +<br> +“‘ - upon what ye shall, in such pursuit, have brought home +with you. Whereas, if ye go alone, or two or three together, nay, +even if ye go in thick and gallant company, and yet provide not that +these be with ye, my word for it, and a powerfuller word than mine, +ye shall return to your supper tired and jaded, and rest little when +ye want to rest most.’”<br> +<br> +“Hast no other head of the Doctor’s?” quoth Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +“Verily none,” replied Willy, “of the morning’s +discourse, saving the last words of it, which, with God’s help, +I shall always remember.”<br> +<br> +“Give us them, give us them,” said Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +“He wants doctrine; he wants authority; his are grains of millet, +- grains for unfledged doves; but they are sound, except the <i>crying.<br> +<br> +</i>“Deliver unto us the last words; for the last of the preacher, +as of the hanged, are usually the best.”<br> +<br> +Then did William repeat the concluding words of the discourse, being +these:-<br> +<br> +“‘As years are running past us, let us throw something on +them which they cannot shake off in the dust and hurry of the world, +but must carry with them to that great year of all, whereunto the lesser +of this mortal life do tend and are subservient.’<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, after a pause, and after having bent his knee under the +table, as though there had been the church-cushion, said unto us, -<br> +<br> +“Here he spake <i>through a glass</i>,<i> darkly</i>,<i> </i>as +blessed Paul hath it.”<br> +<br> +Then turning toward Willy, -<br> +<br> +“And nothing more?”<br> +<br> +“Nothing but the <i>glory</i>,” quoth Willy, “at which +there is always such a clatter of feet upon the floor, and creaking +of benches, and rustling of gowns, and bustle of bonnets, and justle +of cushions, and dust of mats, and treading of toes, and punching of +elbows, from the spitefuller, that one wishes to be fairly out of it, +after the scramble for <i>the peace of God </i>is at an end - ”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas threw himself back upon his armchair, and exclaimed in wonderment, +“How!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“ - and in the midst of the service again, were it possible. +For nothing is painfuller than to have the pail shaken off the head +when it is brim-full of the waters of life, and we are walking staidly +under it.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Had the learned Doctor preached again in the evening, pursuing +the thread of his discourse, he might, peradventure, have made up the +deficiencies I find in him.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He had not that opportunity.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“The more’s the pity.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“The evening admonition, delivered by him unto the household - +”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What! and did he indeed shew wind enough for that? Prithee +out with it, if thou didst put it into thy tablets.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Alack, sir! there were so many Latin words, I fear me I should +be at fault in such attempt.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Fear not; we can help thee out between us, were there a dozen +or a score.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Bating those latinities, I do verily think I could tie up again +most of the points in his doublet.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“At him then! What was his bearing?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“In dividing his matter, he spooned out and apportioned the commons +in his discourse, as best suited the quality, capacity, and constitution +of his hearers. To those in priests’ orders he delivered +a sort of catechism.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“He catechise grown men! He catechise men in priests’ +orders! - being no bishop, nor bishop’s ordinary!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He did so; it may be at his peril.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“And what else? for catechisms are baby’s pap.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He did not catechise, but he admonished the richer gentlemen +with gold tassels for their top-knots.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I thought as much. It was no better in my time. Admonitions +fell gently upon those gold tassels; and they ripened degrees as glass +and sunshine ripen cucumbers. We priests, forsooth, are catechised! +The worst question to any gold tasseller is, ‘<i>How do you do</i>?’ +Old <i>Alma Mater </i>coaxes and would be coaxed. But let her +look sharp, or spectacles may be thrust upon her nose that shall make +her eyes water. Aristotle could make out no royal road to wisdom; +but this old woman of ours will shew you one, an you tip her.<br> +<br> +“Tilley valley! <a name="citation124a"></a><a href="#footnote124a">{124a}</a> +catechise priests, indeed!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Peradventure he did it discreetly. Let us examine and judge +him. Repeat thou what he said unto them.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“‘Many,’ said he, ‘are ingenuous, many are devout, +some timidly, some strenuously, but nearly all flinch, and rear, and +kick, at the slightest touch, or least inquisitive suspicion of an unsound +part in their doctrine. And yet, my brethren, we ought rather +to flinch and feel sore at our own searching touch, our own serious +inquisition into ourselves. Let us preachers, who are sufficiently +liberal in bestowing our advice upon others, inquire of ourselves whether +the exercise of spiritual authority may not be sometimes too pleasant, +tickling our breasts with a plume from Satan’s wing, and turning +our heads with that inebriating poison which he hath been seen to instil +into the very chalice of our salvation. Let us ask ourselves in +the closet whether, after we have humbled ourselves before God in our +prayers, we never rise beyond the due standard in the pulpit; whether +our zeal for the truth be never over-heated by internal fires less holy; +whether we never grow stiffly and sternly pertinacious, at the very +time when we are reproving the obstinacy of others; and whether we have +not frequently so acted as if we believed that opposition were to be +relaxed and borne away by self-sufficiency and intolerance. Believe +me, the wisest of us have our catechism to learn; and these, my dear +friends, are not the only questions contained in it. No Christian +can hate; no Christian can malign. Nevertheless, do we not often +both hate and malign those unhappy men who are insensible to God’s +mercies? And I fear this unchristian spirit swells darkly, with +all its venom, in the marble of our hearts, not because our brother +is insensible to these mercies, but because he is insensible to our +faculty of persuasion, turning a deaf ear unto our claim upon his obedience, +or a blind or sleepy eye upon the fountain of light, whereof we deem +ourselves the sacred reservoirs. There is one more question at +which ye will tremble when ye ask it in the recesses of your souls; +I do tremble at it, yet must utter it. Whether we do not more +warmly and erectly stand up for God’s word because it came from +our mouths, than because it came from his? Learned and ingenious +men may indeed find a solution and excuse for all these propositions; +but the wise unto salvation will cry, “Forgive me, O my God, if, +called by thee to walk in thy way, I have not swept this dust from the +sanctuary!”’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“All this, methinks, is for the behoof of clerks and ministers.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He taught them what they who teach others should learn and practise. +Then did he look toward the young gentlemen of large fortune; and lastly +his glances fell upon us poorer folk, whom he instructed in the duty +we owe to our superiors.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay, there he had a host.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“In one part of his admonition he said, -<br> +<br> +“‘Young gentlemen! let not the highest of you who hear me +this evening be led into the delusion, for such it is, that the founder +of his family was <i>originally </i>a greater or a better man than the +lowest here. He willed it, and became it. He must have stood +low; he must have worked hard, - and with tools, moreover, of his own +invention and fashioning. He waved and whistled off ten thousand +strong and importunate temptations; he dashed the dice-box from the +jewelled hand of Chance, the cup from Pleasure’s, and trod under +foot the sorceries of each; he ascended steadily the precipices of Danger, +and looked down with intrepidity from the summit; he overawed Arrogance +with Sedateness; he seized by the horn and overleaped low Violence; +and he fairly swung Fortune round.<br> +<br> +“‘The very high cannot rise much higher; the very low may, +- the truly great must have done it.<br> +<br> +“‘This is not the doctrine, my friends, of the silkenly +and lawnly religious; it wears the coarse texture of the fisherman, +and walks uprightly and straightforward under it. I am speaking +now more particularly to you among us upon whom God hath laid the incumbrances +of wealth, the sweets whereof bring teazing and poisonous things about +you, not easily sent away. What now are your pretensions under +sacks of money? or your enjoyments under the shade of genealogical trees? +Are they rational? Are they real? Do they exist at all? +Strange inconsistency! to be proud of having as much gold and silver +laid upon you as a mule hath, and yet to carry it less composedly! +The mule is not answerable for the conveyance and discharge of his burden, +- you are. Stranger infatuation still! to be prouder of an excellent +thing done by another than by yourselves, supposing any excellent thing +to have actually been done; and, after all, to be more elated on his +cruelties than his kindnesses, by the blood he hath spilt than by the +benefits he had conferred; and to acknowledge less obligation to a well-informed +and well-intentioned progenitor than to a lawless and ferocious barbarian. +Would stocks and stumps, if they could utter words, utter such gross +stupidity? Would the apple boast of his crab origin, or the peach +of his prune? Hardly any man is ashamed of being inferior to his +ancestors, although it is the very thing at which the great should blush, +if, indeed, the great in general descended from the worthy. I +did expect to see the day, and although I shall not see it, it must +come at last, when he shall be treated as a madman or an impostor who +dares to claim nobility or precedency and cannot shew his family name +in the history of his country. Even he who can shew it, and who +cannot write his own under it in the same or as goodly characters, must +submit to the imputation of degeneracy, from which the lowly and obscure +are exempt.<br> +<br> +“‘He alone who maketh you wiser maketh you greater; and +it is only by such an implement that Almighty God himself effects it. +When he taketh away a man’s wisdom he taketh away his strength, +his power over others and over himself. What help for him then? +He may sit idly and swell his spleen, saying, - <i>Who is this? who +is that? </i>and at the question’s end the spirit of inquiry dies +away in him. It would not have been so if, in happier hour, he +had said within himself, <i>Who am I? what am I? </i>and had prosecuted +the search in good earnest.<br> +<br> +“‘When we ask who <i>this </i>man is, or who <i>that </i>man +is, we do not expect or hope for a plain answer; we should be disappointed +at a direct, or a rational, or a kind one. We desire to hear that +he was of low origin, or had committed some crime, or been subjected +to some calamity. Whoever he be, in general we disregard or despise +him, unless we discover that he possesseth by nature many qualities +of mind and body which he never brings into use, and many accessories +of situation and fortune which he brings into abuse every day. +According to the arithmetic in practice, he who makes the most idlers +and the most ingrates is the most worshipful. But wiser ones than +the scorers in this school will tell you how riches and power were bestowed +by Providence that generosity and mercy should be exercised; for, if +every gift of the Almighty were distributed in equal portions to every +creature, less of such virtues would be called into the field; consequently +there would be less of gratitude, less of submission, less of devotion, +less of hope, and, in the total, less of content.’”<br> +<br> +Here he ceased, and Sir Thomas nodded, and said, -<br> +<br> +“Reasonable enough! nay, almost too reasonable!”<br> +<br> +“But where are the apostles? Where are the disciples? +Where are the saints? Where is hell-fire?”<br> +<br> +“Well! patience! we may come to it yet. Go on, Will!”<br> +<br> +With such encouragement before him, did Will Shakspeare take breath +and continue:-<br> +<br> +“‘We mortals are too much accustomed to behold our superiors +in rank and station as we behold the leaves in the forest. While +we stand under these leaves, our protection and refuge from heat and +labour, we see only the rougher side of them, and the gloominess of +the branches on which they hang. In the midst of their benefits +we are insensible to their utility and their beauty, and appear to be +ignorant that if they were placed less high above us we should derive +from them less advantage.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Ay; envy of superiority made the angels kick and run restive.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“May it please your worship! with all my faults, I have ever borne +due submission and reverence toward my superiors.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Very right! very scriptural! But most folks do that. +Our duty is not fulfilled unless we bear absolute veneration; unless +we are ready to lay down our lives and fortunes at the foot of the throne, +and every thing else at the foot of those who administer the laws under +virgin majesty.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Honoured sir! I am quite ready to lay down my life and +fortune, and all the rest of me, before that great virgin.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Thy life and fortune, to wit!<br> +<br> +“What are they worth? A June cob-nut, maggot and all.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Silas, we will not repudiate nor rebuff his Magdalen, that bringeth +a pot of ointment. Rather let us teach and tutor than twit. +It is a tractable and conducible youth, being in good company.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Teach and tutor! Hold hard, sir! These base varlets +ought to be taught but two things: to bow as beseemeth them to their +betters, and to hang perpendicular. We have authority for it, +that no man can add an inch to his stature; but by aid of the sheriff +I engage to find a chap who shall add two or three to this whoreson’s.” +<a name="citation133a"></a><a href="#footnote133a">{133a}</a><br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Nay, nay, now, Silas! the lad’s mother was always held +to be an honest woman.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“His mother may be an honest woman for me.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“No small privilege, by my faith! for any woman in the next parish +to thee, Master Silas!”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“There again! out comes the filthy runlet from the quagmire, that +but now lay so quiet with all its own in it.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Until it was trodden on by the ass that could not leap over it. +These, I think, are the words of the fable.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“They are so.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“What fable?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Tush! don’t press him too hard; he wants not wit, but learning.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“He wants a rope’s-end; and a rope’s-end is not enough +for him, unless we throw in the other.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Peradventure he may be an instrument, a potter’s clay, +a type, a token.<br> +<br> +“I have seen many young men, and none like unto him. He +is shallow but clear; he is simple, but ingenuous.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Drag the ford again, then. In my mind he is as deep as +the big tankard; and a mouthful of rough burrage will be the beginning +and end of it.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“No fear of that. Neither, if rightly reported by the youngster, +is there so much doctrine in the doctor as we expected. He doth +not dwell upon the main; he is worldly; he is wise in his generation, +- he says things out of his own head.<br> +<br> +“Silas, that can’t hold! We want <i>props -</i> <i>fulcrums</i>,<i> +</i>I think you called ’em to the farmers; or was it <i>stimulums</i>?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Both very good words.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I should be mightily pleased to hear thee dispute with that great +don.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I hate disputations. Saint Paul warns us against them. +If one wants to be thirsty, the tail of a stockfish is as good for it +as the head of a logician.<br> +<br> +“The doctor there, at Oxford, is in flesh and mettle; but let +him be sleek and gingered as he may, clap me in St. Mary’s pulpit, +cassock me, lamb-skin me, give me pink for my colours, glove me to the +elbow, heel-piece me half an ell high, cushion me before and behind, +bring me a mug of mild ale and a rasher of bacon, only just to con over +the text withal; then allow me fair play, and as much of my own way +as he had, and the devil take the hindermost. I am his man at +any time.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I am fain to believe it. Verily, I do think, Silas, thou +hast as much stuff in thee as most men. Our beef and mutton at +Charlecote rear other than babes and sucklings.<br> +<br> +“I like words taken, like thine, from black-letter books. +They look stiff and sterling, and as though a man might dig about ’em +for a week, and never loosen the lightest.<br> +<br> +“Thou hast alway at hand either saint or devil, as occasion needeth, +according to the quality of the sinner, and they never come uncalled +for. Moreover, Master Silas, I have observed that thy hell-fire +is generally lighted up in the pulpit about the dog-days.”<br> +<br> +Then turned the worthy knight unto the youth, saying, -<br> +<br> +“’T were well for thee, William Shakspeare, if the learned +doctor had kept thee longer in his house, and had shewn unto thee the +danger of idleness, which hath often led unto deer-stealing and poetry. +In thee we already know the one, although the distemper hath eaten but +skin-deep for the present; and we have the testimony of two burgesses +on the other. The pursuit of poetry, as likewise of game, is unforbidden +to persons of condition.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, that of game is the more likely to keep them in it.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS,<br> +<br> +“It is the more knightly of the two; but poetry hath also her +pursuers among us. I myself, in my youth, had some experience +that way; and I am fain to blush at the reputation I obtained. +His honour, my father, took me to London at the age of twenty; and, +sparing no expense in my education, gave fifty shillings to one Monsieur +Dubois to teach me fencing and poetry, in twenty lessons. In vacant +hours he taught us also the laws of honour, which are different from +ours.<br> +<br> +“In France you are unpolite unless you solicit a judge or his +wife to favour your cause; and you inevitably lose it. In France +there is no want of honour where there is no want of courage; you may +lie, but you must not hear that you lie. I asked him what he thought +then of lying; and he replied, -<br> +<br> +“‘<i>C’est selon</i>.’<br> +<br> +“‘And suppose you should overhear the whisper?’<br> +<br> +“‘<i>Ah</i>,<i> parbleu</i>! <i>Cela m’irrite</i>;<i> +cela me pousse au bout.</i>’<br> +<br> +“I was going on to remark that a real man of honour could less +bear to lie than to hear it; when he cried, at the words <i>real man +of honour</i>,<i> -<br> +<br> +</i>“‘<i>Le voilà</i>,<i> Monsieur</i>! <i>le voilà</i>!’ +and gave himself such a blow on the breast as convinced me the French +are a brave people.<br> +<br> +“He told us that nothing but his honour was left him, but that +it supplied the place of all he had lost. It was discovered some +time afterward that M. Dubois had been guilty of perjury, had been a +spy, and had lost nothing but a dozen or two of tin patty-pans, hereditary +in his family, his father having been a cook on his own account.<br> +<br> +“William, it is well at thy time of life that thou shouldst know +the customs of far countries, particularly if it should be the will +of God to place thee in a company of players. Of all nations in +the world, the French best understand the stage. If thou shouldst +ever write for it, which God forbid, copy them very carefully. +Murders on their stage are quite decorous and cleanly. Few gentlemen +and ladies die by violence who would not have died by exhaustion. +‘For they rant and rave until their voice fails them, one after +another; and those who do not die of it die consumptive. They +cannot bear to see cruelty; they would rather see any image than their +own.’ These are not my observations, but were made by Sir +Everard Starkeye, who likewise did remark to Monsieur Dubois, that ‘cats, +if you hold them up to the looking-glass, will scratch you terribly; +and that the same fierce animal, as if proud of its cleanly coat and +velvety paw, doth carefully put aside what other animals of more estimation +take no trouble to conceal.’<br> +<br> +“‘Our people,’ said Sir Everard, ‘must see upon +the stage what they never could have imagined; so the best men in the +world would earnestly take a peep of hell through a chink, whereas the +worser would skulk away.’<br> +<br> +“Do not thou be their caterer, William! Avoid the writing +of comedies and tragedies. To make people laugh is uncivil, and +to make people cry is unkind. And what, after all, are these comedies +and these tragedies? They are what, for the benefit of all future +generations, I have myself described them, -<br> +<br> +<br> +‘The whimsies of wantons and stories of dread,<br> +That make the stout-hearted look under the bed.’<br> +<br> +<br> +Furthermore, let me warn thee against the same on account of the vast +charges thou must stand at. We Englishmen cannot find it in our +hearts to murder a man without much difficulty, hesitation, and delay. +We have little or no invention for pains and penalties; it is only our +acutest lawyers who have wit enough to frame them. Therefore it +behooveth your tragedy-man to provide a rich assortment of them, in +order to strike the auditor with awe and wonder. And a tragedy-man, +in our country, who cannot afford a fair dozen of stabbed males, and +a trifle under that mark of poisoned females, and chains enow to moor +a whole navy in dock, is but a scurvy fellow at the best. Thou +wilt find trouble in purveying these necessaries; and then must come +the gim-cracks for the second course, - gods, goddesses, fates, furies, +battles, marriages, music, and the maypole. Hast thou within thee +wherewithal?”<br> +<br> +“Sir!” replied Billy, with great modesty, “I am most +grateful for these ripe fruits of your experience. To admit delightful +visions into my own twilight chamber is not dangerous nor forbidden. +Believe me, sir, he who indulges in them will abstain from injuring +his neighbour; he will see no glory in peril, and no delight in strife.<br> +<br> +“The world shall never be troubled by any battles and marriages +of mine, and I desire no other music and no other maypole than have +lightened my heart at Stratford.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, finding him well-conditioned and manageable, proceeded:-<br> +<br> +“Although I have admonished thee of sundry and insurmountable +impediments, yet more are lying in the pathway. We have no verse +for tragedy. One in his hurry hath dropped rhyme, and walketh +like unto the man who wanteth the left-leg stocking. Others can +give us rhyme indeed, but can hold no longer after the tenth or eleventh +syllable. Now Sir Everard Starkeye, who is a pretty poet, did +confess to Monsieur Dubois the potency of the French tragic verse, which +thou never canst hope to bring over.<br> +<br> +“‘I wonder, Monsieur Dubois!’ said Sir Everard, ‘that +your countrymen should have thought it necessary to transport their +heavy artillery into Italy. No Italian could stand a volley of +your heroic verses from the best and biggest pieces. With these +brought into action, you never could have lost the battle of Pavia.’<br> +<br> +“Now my friend Sir Everard is not quite so good a historian as +he is a poet; and Monsieur Dubois took advantage of him.<br> +<br> +“‘Pardon! Monsieur Sir Everard!’ said Monsieur +Dubois, smiling at my friend’s slip, ‘We did not lose the +battle of Pavia. We had the misfortune to lose our king, who delivered +himself up, as our kings always do, for the good and glory of his country.’<br> +<br> +“‘How was this?’ said Sir Everard, in surprise.<br> +<br> +“‘I will tell you, Monsieur Sir Everard!’ said Monsieur +Dubois. ‘I had it from my own father, who fought in the +battle, and told my mother, word for word.<br> +<br> +“‘The king seeing his household troops, being only one thousand +strong, surrounded by twelve regiments, the best Spanish troops, amounting +to eighteen thousand four hundred and forty-two, although he doubted +not of victory, yet thought he might lose many brave men before the +close of the day, and rode up instantly to King Charles, and said, -<br> +<br> +“‘“My brother! I am loath to lose so many of +those brave men yonder. Whistle off your Spanish pointers, and +I agree to ride home with you.”<br> +<br> +“‘And so he did. But what did King Charles? +Abusing French loyalty, he made our Francis his prisoner, would you +believe it? and treated him worse than ever badger was treated at the +bottom of any paltry stable-yard, putting upon his table beer and Rhenish +wine and wild boar.’<br> +<br> +“I have digressed with thee, young man,” continued the knight, +much to the improvement of my knowledge, I do reverentially confess, +as it was of the lad’s. “We will now,” said +he, “endeavour our best to sober thee, finding that Doctor Glaston +hath omitted it.”<br> +<br> +“Not entirely omitted it,” said William, gratefully; “he +did after dinner all that could be done at such a time toward it. +The doctor could, however, speak only of the Greeks and Romans, and +certainly what he said of them gave me but little encouragement.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“What said he?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“He said, ‘The Greeks conveyed all their wisdom into their +theatre, - their stages were churches and parliament-houses; but what +was false prevailed over what was true. They had their own wisdom, +the wisdom of the foolish. Who is Sophocles, if compared to Doctor +Hammersley of Oriel? or Euripides, if compared to Doctor Prichard of +Jesus? Without the Gospel, light is darkness; and with it, children +are giants.<br> +<br> +“‘William, I need not expatiate on Greek with thee, since +thou knowest it not, but some crumbs of Latin are picked up by the callowest +beaks. The Romans had, as thou findest, and have still, more taste +for murder than morality, and, as they could not find heroes among them, +looked for gladiators. Their only very high poet employed his +elevation and strength to dethrone and debase the Deity. They +had several others, who polished their language and pitched their instruments +with admirable skill; several who glued over their thin and flimsy gaberdines +many bright feathers from the widespread downs of Ionia, and the richly +cultivated rocks of Attica.<br> +<br> +“‘Some of them have spoken from inspiration; for thou art +not to suppose that from the heathen were withheld all the manifestations +of the Lord. We do agree at Oxford that the Pollio of Virgil is +our Saviour. True, it is the dullest and poorest poem that a nation +not very poetical hath bequeathed unto us; and even the versification, +in which this master excelled, is wanting in fluency and sweetness. +I can only account for it from the weight of the subject. Two +verses, which are fairly worth two hundred such poems, are from another +pagan; he was forced to sigh for the church without knowing her. +He saith, -<br> +<br> +<br> +“May I gaze upon thee when my latest hour is come!<br> +May I hold thy hand when mine faileth me!”<br> +<br> +<br> +This, if adumbrating the church, is the most beautiful thought that +ever issued from the heart of man; but if addressed to a wanton, as +some do opine, is filth from the sink, nauseating and insufferable.<br> +<br> +“‘William! that which moveth the heart most is the best +poetry; it comes nearest unto God, the source of all power.’”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Yea; and he appeareth unto me to know more of poetry than of +divinity. Those ancients have little flesh upon the body poetical, +and lack the savour that sufficeth. The Song of Solomon drowns +all their voices: they seem but whistlers and guitar-players compared +to a full-cheeked trumpeter; they standing under the eaves in some dark +lane, he upon a well-caparisoned stallion, tossing his mane and all +his ribbons to the sun. I doubt the doctor spake too fondly of +the Greeks; they were giddy creatures. William, I am loath to +be hard on them; but they please me not. There are those now living +who could make them bite their nails to the quick, and turn green as +grass with envy.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, one of those Greeks, methinks, thrown into the pickle-pot, +would be a treasure to the housewife’s young jerkins.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Simpleton! simpleton! but thou valuest them justly. Now +attend. If ever thou shouldst hear, at Oxford or London, the verses +I am about to repeat, prithee do not communicate them to that fiery +spirit Mat Atterend. It might not be the battle of two hundreds, +but two counties; a sort of York and Lancaster war, whereof I would +wash my hands. Listen!”<br> +<br> +And now did Sir Thomas clear his voice, always high and sonorous, and +did repeat from the stores of his memory these rich and proud verses, +-<br> +<br> +<br> +“‘Chloe! mean men must ever make mean loves;<br> +They deal in dog-roses, but I in cloves.<br> +They are just scorch’d enough to blow their fingers;<br> +I am a phœnix downright burnt to cinders.’”<br> +<br> +<br> +At which noble conceits, so far above what poor Bill had ever imagined, +he lifted up his eyes to heaven, and exclaimed, -<br> +<br> +“The world itself must be reduced to that condition before such +glorious verses die! <i>Chloe </i>and <i>Clove</i>! Why, +sir! Chloe wants but a V toward the tail to become the very thing! +Never tell me that such matters can come about of themselves. +And how truly is it said that we mean men deal in dog-roses.<br> +<br> +“Sir, if it were permitted me to swear on that holy Bible, I would +swear I never until this day heard that dog-roses were our provender; +and yet did I, no longer ago than last summer, write, not indeed upon +a dog-rose, but upon a sweet-briar, what would only serve to rinse the +mouth withal after the clove.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Repeat the same, youth. We may haply give thee our counsel +thereupon.”<br> +<br> +Willy took heart, and lowering his voice, which hath much natural mellowness, +repeated these from memory:-<br> +<br> +<br> + “My briar that smelledst sweet<br> + When gentle spring’s first heat<br> + Ran through thy quiet veins, -<br> + Thou that wouldst injure none,<br> + But wouldst be left alone, -<br> +Alone thou leavest me, and nought of thine remains.<br> +<br> + “What! hath no poet’s lyre<br> + O’er thee, sweet-breathing briar,<br> + Hung fondly, ill or well?<br> + And yet methinks with thee<br> + A poet’s sympathy,<br> +Whether in weal or woe, in life or death, might dwell.<br> +<br> + “Hard usage both must bear,<br> + Few hands your youth will rear,<br> + Few bosoms cherish you;<br> + Your tender prime must bleed<br> + Ere you are sweet, but freed<br> +From life, you then are prized; thus prized are poets too.”<br> +<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas said, with kind encouragement, “He who beginneth so +discreetly with a dog-rose, may hope to encompass a damask-rose ere +he die.”<br> +<br> +Willy did now breathe freely. The commendation of a knight and +magistrate worked powerfully within him; and Sir Thomas said furthermore, +-<br> +<br> +“These short matters do not suit me. Thou mightest have +added some moral about life and beauty, - poets never handle roses without +one; but thou art young, and mayest get into the train.”<br> +<br> +Willy made the best excuse he could; and no bad one it was, the knight +acknowledged; namely, that the sweet-briar was not really dead, although +left for dead.<br> +<br> +“Then,” said Sir Thomas, “as life and beauty would +not serve thy turn, thou mightest have had full enjoyment of the beggar, +the wayside, the thieves, and the good Samaritan, - enough to tapestry +the bridal chamber of an empress.”<br> +<br> +William bowed respectfully, and sighed.<br> +<br> +“Ha! thou hast lost them, sure enough, and it may not be quite +so fair to smile at thy quandary,” quoth Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +“I did my best the first time,” said Willy, “and fell +short the second.”<br> +<br> +“That, indeed, thou must have done,” said Sir Thomas. +“It is a grievous disappointment, in the midst of our lamentations +for the dead, to find ourselves balked. I am curious to see how +thou couldst help thyself. Don’t be abashed; I am ready +for even worse than the last.”<br> +<br> +Bill hesitated, but obeyed:-<br> +<br> +<br> + “And art thou yet alive?<br> + And shall the happy hive<br> + Send out her youth to cull<br> + Thy sweets of leaf and flower,<br> + And spend the sunny hour<br> +With thee, and thy faint heart with murmuring music lull?<br> +<br> + “Tell me what tender care,<br> + Tell me what pious prayer,<br> + Bade thee arise and live.<br> + The fondest-favoured bee<br> + Shall whisper nought to thee<br> +More loving than the song my grateful muse shall give.”<br> +<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas looked somewhat less pleased at the conclusion of these verses +than at the conclusion of the former, and said, gravely, -<br> +<br> +“Young man! methinks it is betimes that thou talkest of having +a muse to thyself; or even in common with others. It is only great +poets who have muses; I mean to say who have the right to talk in that +fashion. The French, I hear, <i>Phœbus </i>it and <i>muse-me +</i>it right and left; and boggle not to throw all nine, together with +mother and master, into the compass of a dozen lines or thereabout. +And your Italian can hardly do without ’em in the multiplication-table. +We Englishmen do let them in quietly, shut the door, and say nothing +of what passes. I have read a whole book of comedies, and ne’er +a muse to help the lamest.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Wonderful forbearance! I marvel how the poet could get +through.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“By God’s help. And I think we did as well without +’em; for it must be an unabashable man that ever shook his sides +in their company. They lay heavy restraint both upon laughing +and crying. In the great master Virgil of Rome, they tell me they +come in to count the ships, and having cast up the sum total, and proved +it, make off again. Sure token of two things, - first, that he +held ’em dog-cheap; secondly, that he had made but little progress +(for a Lombard born) in book-keeping at double entry.<br> +<br> +“He, and every other great genius, began with small subject-matters, +gnats and the like. I myself, similar unto him, wrote upon fruit. +I would give thee some copies for thy copying, if I thought thou wouldst +use them temperately, and not render them common, as hath befallen the +poetry of some among the brightest geniuses. I could shew thee +how to say new things, and how to time the same. Before my day, +nearly all the flowers and fruits had been gathered by poets, old and +young, <i>from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop on the wall</i>;<i> +</i>roses went up to Solomon, apples to Adam, and so forth.<br> +<br> +“Willy! my brave lad! I was the first that ever handled +a quince, I’ll be sworn.<br> +<br> +“Hearken!<br> +<br> +<br> +“Chloe! I would not have thee wince<br> +That I unto thee send a quince.<br> +I would not have thee say unto ’t<br> +<i>Begone</i>! and trample ’t underfoot,<br> +For, trust me, ’t is no fulsome fruit.<br> +It came not out of mine own garden,<br> +But all the way from Henly in Arden, -<br> +Of an uncommon fine old tree,<br> +Belonging to John Asbury.<br> +And if that of it thou shalt eat,<br> +’Twill make thy breath e’en yet more sweet;<br> +As a translation here doth shew,<br> +<i>On fruit-trees</i>,<i> by Jean Mirabeau.<br> +</i>The frontispiece is printed so.<br> +But eat it with some wine and cake,<br> +Or it may give the belly-ache. <a name="citation153a"></a><a href="#footnote153a">{153a}</a><br> +This doth my worthy clerk indite,<br> +I sign,<br> +SIR THOMAS LUCY, Knight.”<br> +<br> +<br> +“Now, Willy, there is not one poet or lover in twenty who careth +for consequences. Many hint to the lady what to do, few what not +to do although it would oftentimes, as in this case, go to one’s +heart to see the upshot.”<br> +<br> +“Ah, sir,” said Bill, in all humility, “I would make +bold to put the parings of that quince under my pillow, for sweet dreams +and insights, if Doctor Glaston had given me encouragement to continue +the pursuit of poetry. Of a surety it would bless me with a bedful +of churches and crucifixions, duly adumbrated.”<br> +<br> +Whereat Sir Thomas, shaking his head, did inform him, -<br> +<br> +“It was in the golden age of the world, as pagans call it, that +poets of condition sent fruits and flowers to their beloved, with posies +fairly penned. We, in our days, have done the like. But +manners of late are much corrupted on the one side, if not on both.<br> +<br> +“Willy! it hath been whispered that there be those who would rather +have a piece of brocade or velvet for a stomacher than the touchingest +copy of verses, with a bleeding heart at the bottom.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Incredible!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“’T is even so!”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“They must surely be rotten fragments of the world before the +flood, - saved out of it by the devil.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I am not of that mind.<br> +<br> +“Their eyes, mayhap, fell upon some of the bravery cast ashore +from the Spanish Armada. In ancienter days, a few pages of good +poetry outvalued a whole ell of the finest Genoa.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“When will such days return?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“It is only within these few years that corruption and avarice +have made such ghastly strides. They always did exist, but were +gentler.<br> +<br> +“My youth is waning, and has been nigh upon these seven years, +I being now in my forty-eighth.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I have understood that the god of poetry is in the enjoyment +of eternal youth; I was ignorant that his sons were.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“No, child! we are hale and comely, but must go the way of all +flesh.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Must it, can it, be?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Time was, my smallest gifts were acceptable, as thus recorded:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“From my fair hand, O will ye, will ye<br> +Deign humbly to accept a gilly-<br> + Flower for thy bosom, sugared maid!<br> +<br> +“Scarce had I said it ere she took it,<br> +And in a twinkling, faith! had stuck it,<br> + Where e’en proud knighthood might have laid.”<br> +<br> +<br> +William was now quite unable to contain himself, and seemed utterly +to have forgotten the grievous charge against him; to such a pitch did +his joy o’erleap his jeopardy.<br> +<br> +Master Silas in the meantime was much disquieted; and first did he strip +away all the white feather from every pen in the inkpot, and then did +he mend them, one and all, and then did he slit them with his thumb-nail, +and then did he pare and slash away at them again and then did he cut +off the tops, until at last he left upon them neither nib nor plume, +nor enough of the middle to serve as quill to a virginal. It went +to my heart to see such a power of pens so wasted; there could not be +fewer than five. Sir Thomas was less wary than usual, being overjoyed. +For great poets do mightly affect to have little poets under them; and +little poets do forget themselves in great company, as fiddlers do, +who <i>hail fellow well met </i>even with lords.<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas did not interrupt our Bill’s wild gladness. I +never thought so worshipful a personage could bear so much. At +last he said unto the lad, -<br> +<br> +“I do bethink me, if thou hearest much more of my poetry, and +the success attendant thereon, good Doctor Glaston would tear thy skirt +off ere he could drag thee back from the occupation.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I fear me, for once, all his wisdom would sluice out in vain.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“It was reported to me that when our virgin queen’s highness +(her Dear Dread’s <a name="citation157a"></a><a href="#footnote157a">{157a}</a> +ear not being then poisoned) heard these verses, she said before her +courtiers, to the sore travail of some, and heart’s content of +others, -<br> +<br> +“‘We need not envy our young cousin James of Scotland his +ass’s bite of a thistle, having such flowers as these gillyflowers +on the chimney-stacks of Charlecote.’<br> +<br> +“I could have told her highness that all this poetry, from beginning +to end, was real matter of fact, well and truly spoken by mine own self. +I had only to harness the rhymes thereunto, at my leisure.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“None could ever doubt it. Greeks and Trojans may fight +for the quince; neither shall have it<br> +<br> +<br> +While a Warwickshire lad<br> +Is on earth to be had,<br> +With a wand to wag<br> +On a trusty nag,<br> +He shall keep the lists<br> +With cudgel or fists.<br> +And black shall be whose eye<br> +Looks evil on Lucy.”<br> +<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Nay, nay, nay! do not trespass too soon upon heroics. Thou +seest thou canst not hold thy wind beyond eight lines. What wouldst +thou do under the heavy mettle that should have wrought such wonders +at Pavia, if thou findest these petards so troublesome in discharging? +Surely, the good doctor, had he entered at large on the subject, would +have been very particular in urging this expostulation.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Sir, to my mortification I must confess that I took to myself +the counsel he was giving to another; a young gentleman who, from his +pale face, his abstinence at table, his cough, his taciturnity, and +his gentleness, seemed already more than half poet. To him did +Doctor Glaston urge, with all his zeal and judgment, many arguments +against the vocation; telling him that, even in college, he had few +applauders, being the first, and not the second or third, who always +are more fortunate; reminding him that he must solicit and obtain much +interest with men of rank and quality, before he could expect their +favour; and that without it the vein chilled, the nerve relaxed, and +the poet was left at next door to the bellman. ‘In the coldness +of the world,’ said he, ‘in the absence of ready friends +and adherents, to light thee upstairs to the richly tapestried chamber +of the muses, thy spirits will abandon thee, thy heart will sicken and +swell within thee; overladen, thou wilt make, O Ethelbert! a slow and +painful progress, and ere the door open, sink. Praise giveth weight +unto the wanting, and happiness giveth elasticity unto the heavy. +As the mightiest streams of the unexplored world, America, run languidly +in the night, <a name="citation159a"></a><a href="#footnote159a">{159a}</a> +and await the sun on high to contend with him in strength and grandeur, +so doth genius halt and pause in the thraldom of outspread darkness, +and move onward with all his vigour then only when creative light and +jubilant warmth surround him.’<br> +<br> +“Ethelbert coughed faintly; a tinge of red, the size of a rose-bud, +coloured the middle of his cheek; and yet he seemed not to be pained +by the reproof. He looked fondly and affectionately at his teacher, +who thus proceeded:<br> +<br> +“‘My dear youth, do not carry the stone of Sisyphus on thy +shoulder to pave the way to disappointment. If thou writest but +indifferent poetry none will envy thee, and some will praise thee; but +nature, in her malignity, hath denied unto thee a capacity for the enjoyment +of such praise. In this she hath been kinder to most others than +to thee; we know wherein she hath been kinder to thee than to most others. +If thou writest good poetry many will call it flat, many will call it +obscure, many will call it inharmonious; and some of these will speak +as they think; for, as in giving a feast to great numbers, it is easier +to possess the wine than to procure the cups, so happens it in poetry; +thou hast the beverage of thy own growth, but canst not find the recipients. +What is simple and elegant to thee and me, to many an honest man is +flat and sterile; what to us is an innocently sly allusion, to as worthy +a one as either of us is dull obscurity; and that moreover which swims +upon our brain, and which throbs against our temples, and which we delight +in sounding to ourselves when the voice has done with it, touches their +ear, and awakens no harmony in any cell of it. Rivals will run +up to thee and call thee a plagiary, and, rather than that proof should +be wanting, similar words to some of thine will be thrown in thy teeth +out of Leviticus and Deuteronomy.<br> +<br> +“‘Do you desire calm studies? Do you desire high thoughts? +Penetrate into theology. What is nobler than to dissect and discern +the opinions of the gravest men upon the subtlest matters? And +what glorious victories are those over Infidelity and Scepticism! +How much loftier, how much more lasting in their effects, than such +as ye are invited unto by what this ingenious youth hath contemptuously +and truly called<br> +<br> +<br> +“The swaggering drum, and trumpet hoarse with rage.”<br> +<br> +<br> +And what a delightful and edifying sight it is, to see hundreds of the +most able doctors, all stripped for the combat, each closing with his +antagonist, and tugging and tearing, tooth and nail, to lay down and +establish truths which have been floating in the air for ages, and which +the lower order of mortals are forbidden to see, and commanded to embrace. +And then the shouts of victory! And then the crowns of amaranth +held over their heads by the applauding angels! Besides, these +combats have other great and distinct advantages. Whereas, in +the carnal, the longer ye contend the more blows do ye receive; in these +against Satan, the more fiercely and pertinaciously ye drive at him, +the slacker do ye find him; every good hit makes him redden and rave +with anger, but diminishes its effect.<br> +<br> +“‘My dear friends, who would not enter a service in which +he may give blows to his mortal enemy, and receive none; and in which +not only the eternal gain is incalculable, but also the temporal, at +four-and-twenty, may be far above the emolument of generals, who, before +the priest was born, had bled profusely for their country, established +her security, brightened her glory, and augmented her dominions?’”<br> +<br> +At this pause did Sir Thomas turn unto Sir Silas, and asked, -<br> +<br> +“What sayest thou, Silas?”<br> +<br> +Whereupon did Sir Silas make answer, -<br> +<br> +“I say it is so, and was so, and should be so, and shall be so. +If the queen’s brother had not sopped the priests and bishops +out of the Catholic cup, they could have held the Catholic cup in their +own hands, instead of yielding it into his. They earned their +money; if they sold their consciences for it, the business is theirs, +not ours. I call this facing the devil with a vengeance. +We have their coats; no matter who made ’em, - we have ’em, +I say, and we will wear ’em; and not a button, tag, or tassel, +shall any man tear away.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas then turned to Willy, and requested him to proceed with the +doctor’s discourse, who thereupon continued:-<br> +<br> +“‘Within your own recollections, how many good, quiet, inoffensive +men, unendowed with any extraordinary abilities, have been enabled, +by means of divinity, to enjoy a long life in tranquillity and affluence?’<br> +<br> +“Whereupon did one of the young gentlemen smile, and, on small +encouragement from Doctor Glaston to enounce the cause thereof, he repeated +these verses, which he gave afterward unto me:-<br> +<br> +<br> + “‘In the names on our books<br> + Was standing Tom Flooke’s,<br> +Who took in due time his degrees;<br> + Which when he had taken,<br> + Like Ascham or Bacon,<br> +By night he could snore and by day he could sneeze.<br> +<br> + “‘Calm, pithy, pragmatical, <a name="citation164a"></a><a href="#footnote164a">{164a}</a><br> + Tom Flooke he could at a call<br> +Rise up like a hound from his sleep;<br> + And if many a quarto<br> + He gave not his heart to,<br> +If pellucid in lore, in his cups he was deep.<br> +<br> + “‘He never did harm,<br> + And his heart might be warm,<br> +For his doublet most certainly was so;<br> + And now has Torn Flooke<br> + A quieter nook<br> +Than ever had Spenser or Tasso.<br> +<br> + “‘He lives in his house,<br> + As still as a mouse,<br> +Until he has eaten his dinner;<br> + But then doth his nose<br> + Outroar all the woes<br> +That encompass the death of a sinner.<br> +<br> + “‘And there oft has been seen<br> + No less than a dean<br> +To tarry a week in the parish,<br> + In October and March,<br> + When deans are less starch,<br> +And days are less gleamy and garish.<br> +<br> + “‘That Sunday Tom’s eyes<br> + Look’d always more wise,<br> +He repeated more often his text;<br> + Two leaves stuck together,<br> + (The fault of the weather)<br> +And . . . <i>the rest ye shall hear in my next.<br> +<br> + </i>“‘At mess he lost quite<br> + His small appetite,<br> +By losing his friend the good dean;<br> + The cook’s sight must fail her!<br> + The eggs sure are staler!<br> +The beef, too! - why, what can it mean?<br> +<br> + “‘He turned off the butcher,<br> + To the cook could he clutch her,<br> +What his choler had done there’s no saying -<br> + ’T is verily said<br> + He smote low the cock’s head,<br> +And took other pullets for laying.’<br> +<br> +<br> +“On this being concluded, Doctor Glaston said he shrewdly suspected +an indigestion on the part of Mr. Thomas Flooke, caused by sitting up +late and studying hard with Mr. Dean; and he protested that theology +itself should not carry us into the rawness of the morning air, particularly +in such critical months as March and October, in one of which the sap +rises, in the other sinks, and there are many stars very sinister.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas shook his head, and declared he would not be uncharitable +to rector, or dean, or doctor, but that certain surmises swam uppermost. +He then winked at Master Silas, who said, incontinently, -<br> +<br> +“You have it, Sir Thomas! The blind buzzards! with their +stars and saps!”<br> +<br> +“Well, but Silas! you yourself have told us over and over again, +in church, that there are <i>arcana</i>.”<br> +<br> +“So there are, - I uphold it,” replied Master Silas; “but +a fig for the greater part, and a fig-leaf for the rest. As for +these signs, they are as plain as any page in the Revelation.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas, after short pondering, said, scoffingly, -<br> +<br> +“In regard to the rawness of the air having any effect whatsoever +on those who discourse orthodoxically on theology, it is quite as absurd +as to imagine that a man ever caught cold in a Protestant church. +I am rather of opinion that it was a judgment on the rector for his +evil-mindedness toward the cook, the Lord foreknowing that he was about +to be wilful and vengeful in that quarter. It was, however, more +advisedly that he took other pullets, on his own view of the case, although +it might be that the same pullets would suit him again as well as ever, +when his appetite should return; for it doth not appear that they were +loath to lay, but laid somewhat unsatisfactorily.<br> +<br> +“Now, youth,” continued his worship, “if in our clemency +we should spare thy life, study this higher elegiacal strain which thou +hast carried with thee from Oxford; it containeth, over and above an +unusual store of biography, much sound moral doctrine, for those who +are heedful in the weighing of it. And what can be more affecting +than -<br> +<br> +<br> + ‘At mess he lost quite<br> + His small appetite,<br> +By losing his friend the good dean’?<br> +<br> +<br> +And what an insight into character! Store it up; store it up! +<i>Small appetite</i>,<i> </i>particular; <i>good dean</i>,<i> </i>generick.”<br> +<br> +Hereupon did Master Silas jerk me with his indicative joint, the elbow +to wit, and did say in my ear, -<br> +<br> +“He means <i>deanery</i>. Give me one of those bones so +full of marrow, and let my lord bishop have all the meat over it, and +welcome. If a dean is not on his stilts, he is not on his stumps; +he stands on his own ground; he is a <i>noli-metangeretarian</i>.”<br> +<br> +“What art thou saying of those sectaries, good Master Silas?” +quoth Sir Thomas, not hearing him distinctly.<br> +<br> +“I was talking of the dean,” replied Master Silas. +“He was the very dean who wrote and sang that song called the +<i>Two Jacks</i>.”<br> +<br> +“Hast it?” asked he.<br> +<br> +Master Silas shook his head, and, trying in vain to recollect it, said +at last, -<br> +<br> +“After dinner it sometimes pops out of a filbert-shell in a crack; +and I have known it float on the first glass of Herefordshire cider; +it also hath some affinity with very stiff and old bottled beer; but +in a morning it seemeth unto me like a remnant of over-night.”<br> +<br> +“Our memory waneth, Master Silas!” quoth Sir Thomas, looking +seriously. “If thou couldst repeat it, without the grimace +of singing, it were not ill.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas struck the table with his fist, and repeated the first +stave angrily; but in the second he forgot the admonition of Sir Thomas, +and did sing outright, -<br> +<br> +<br> + “Jack Calvin and Jack Cade,<br> + Two gentles of one trade,<br> + Two tinkers,<br> + Very gladly would pull down<br> + Mother Church and Father Crown,<br> + And would starve or would drown<br> + Right thinkers.<br> +<br> + “Honest man! honest man!<br> + Fill the can, fill the can,<br> +They are coming! they are coming! they are coming!<br> + If any drop be left,<br> + It might tempt ’em to a theft -<br> +Zooks! it was only the ale that was humming.”<br> +<br> +<br> +“In the first stave, gramercy! there is an awful verity,” +quoth Sir Thomas; “but I wonder that a dean should let his skewer +slip out, and his fat catch fire so wofully, in the second. Light +stuff, Silas, fit only for ale-houses.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas was nettled in the nose, and answered, -<br> +<br> +“Let me see the man in Warwickshire, and in all the counties round, +who can run at such a rate with so light a feather in the palm of his +hand. I am no poet, thank God! but I know what folks can do, and +what folks cannot do.”<br> +<br> +“Well, Silas,” replied Sir Thomas, “after thy thanksgiving +for being no poet, let us have the rest of the piece.”<br> +<br> +“The rest!” quoth Master Silas. “When the ale +hath done with its humming, it is time, methinks, to dismiss it. +Sir, there never was any more; you might as well ask for more after +Amen or the see of Canterbury.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas was dissatisfied, and turned off the discourse; and peradventure +he grew more inclined to be gracious unto Willy from the slight rub +his chaplain had given him, were it only for the contrariety. +When he had collected his thoughts he was determined to assert his supremacy +on the score of poetry.<br> +<br> +“Deans, I perceive, like other quality,” said he, “cannot +run on long together. My friend, Sir Everard Starkeye, could never +overleap four bars. I remember but one composition of his, on +a young lady who mocked at his inconsistency, in calling her sometimes +his Grace and at other times his Muse.<br> +<br> +<br> +‘My Grace shall Fanny Carew be,<br> + While here she deigns to stay;<br> +And (ah, how sad the change for me!)<br> + My Muse when far away!’<br> +<br> +<br> +And when we laughed at him for turning his back upon her after the fourth +verse, all he could say for himself was, that he would rather a game +at <i>all fours </i>with Fanny, than <i>ombre </i>and <i>picquet </i>with +the finest furbelows in Christendom. Men of condition do usually +want a belt in the course.”<br> +<br> +Whereunto said Master Silas, -<br> +<br> +“Men out of condition are quite as liable to lack it, methinks.”<br> +<br> +“Silas! Silas!” replied the knight, impatiently, “prithee +keep to thy divinity, thy strong hold upon Zion; thence none that faces +thee can draw thee without being bitten to the bone. Leave poetry +to me.”<br> +<br> +“With all my heart,” quoth Master Silas, “I will never +ask a belt from her, until I see she can afford to give a shirt. +She has promised a belt, indeed, - not one, however, that doth much +improve the wind, - to this lad here, and will keep her word; but she +was forced to borrow the pattern from a Carthusian friar, and somehow +it slips above the shoulder.”<br> +<br> +“I am by no means sure of that,” quoth Sir Thomas. +“He shall have fair play. He carrieth in his mind many valuable +things, whereof it hath pleased Providence to ordain him the depository. +He hath laid before us certain sprigs of poetry from Oxford, trim as +pennyroyal, and larger leaves of household divinity, the most mildly-savoured, +- pleasant in health and wholesome in sickness.”<br> +<br> +“I relish not such mutton-broth divinity,” said Master Silas. +“It makes me sick in order to settle my stomach.”<br> +<br> +“We may improve it,” said the knight, “but first let +us hear more.”<br> +<br> +Then did William Shakspeare resume Dr. Glaston’s discourse.<br> +<br> +“‘Ethelbert! I think thou walkest but little; otherwise +I should take thee with me, some fine fresh morning, as far as unto +the first hamlet on the Cherwell. There lies young Wellerby, who, +the year before, was wont to pass many hours of the day poetising amid +the ruins of Godstow nunnery. It is said that he bore a fondness +toward a young maiden in that place, formerly a village, now containing +but two old farm-houses. In my memory there were still extant +several dormitories. Some love-sick girl had recollected an ancient +name, and had engraven on a stone with a garden-nail, which lay in rust +near it, -<br> +<br> +<br> +“POORE ROSAMUND.”<br> +<br> +<br> +I entered these precincts, and beheld a youth of manly form and countenance, +washing and wiping a stone with a handful of wet grass; and on my going +up to him, and asking what he had found, he shewed it to me. The +next time I saw him was near the banks of the Cherwell. He had +tried, it appears, to forget or overcome his foolish passion, and had +applied his whole mind unto study. He was foiled by his competitor; +and now he sought consolation in poetry. Whether this opened the +wounds that had closed in his youthful breast, and malignant Love, in +his revenge, poisoned it; or whether the disappointment he had experienced +in finding others preferred to him, first in the paths of fortune, then +in those of the muses, - he was thought to have died broken-hearted.<br> +<br> +“‘About half a mile from St. John’s College is the +termination of a natural terrace, with the Cherwell close under it, +in some places bright with yellow and red flowers glancing and glowing +through the stream, and suddenly in others dark with the shadows of +many different trees, in broad, overbending thickets, and with rushes +spear-high, and party-coloured flags.<br> +<br> +“‘After a walk in Midsummer, the emersion of our hands into +the cool and closing grass is surely not the least among our animal +delights. I was just seated, and the first sensation of rest vibrated +in me gently, as though it were music to the limbs, when I discovered +by a hollow in the herbage that another was near. The long meadow-sweet +and blooming burnet half concealed from me him whom the earth was about +to hide totally and for ever.<br> +<br> +“‘Master Batchelor,’ said I, ‘it is ill-sleeping +by the water-side.’<br> +<br> +“‘No answer was returned. I arose, went to the place, +and recognised poor Wellerby. His brow was moist, his cheek was +warm. A few moments earlier, and that dismal lake whereunto and +wherefrom the waters of life, the buoyant blood, ran no longer, might +have received one vivifying ray reflected from my poor casement. +I might not indeed have comforted - I have often failed; but there is +one who never has; and the strengthener of the bruised reed should have +been with us.<br> +<br> +“‘Remembering that his mother did abide one mile further +on, I walked forward to the mansion, and asked her what tidings she +lately had received of her son. She replied that, having given +up his mind to light studies, the fellows of the college would not elect +him. The master had warned him beforehand to abandon his selfish +poetry, take up manfully the quarterstaff of logic, and wield it for +St. John’s, come who would into the ring. “‘We +want our man,’” said he to me, “‘and your son +hath failed us in the hour of need. Madam, he hath been foully +beaten in the schools by one he might have swallowed, with due exercise.’”<br> +<br> +“‘“I rated him, told him I was poor, and he knew it. +He was stung, and threw himself upon my neck, and wept. Twelve +days have passed since, and only three rainy ones. I hear he has +been seen upon the knoll yonder; but hither he hath not come. +I trust he knows at last the value of time, and I shall be heartily +glad to see him after this accession of knowledge. Twelve days, +it is true, are rather a chink than a gap in time; yet, O gentle sir, +they are that chink which makes the vase quite valueless. There +are light words which may never be shaken off the mind they fall on. +My child, who was hurt by me, will not let me see the marks.”<br> +<br> +“‘“Lady,” said I, “none are left upon +him. Be comforted! thou shalt see him this hour. All that +thy God hath not taken is yet thine.” She looked at me earnestly, +and would have then asked something, but her voice failed her. +There was no agony, no motion, save in the lips and cheeks. Being +the widow of one who fought under Hawkins, she remembered his courage +and sustained the shock, saying calmly, “God’s will be done! +I pray that he find me as worthy as he findeth me willing to join them.”<br> +<br> +“‘Now, in her unearthly thoughts she had led her only son +to the bosom of her husband; and in her spirit (which often is permitted +to pass the gates of death with holy love) she left them both with their +Creator.<br> +<br> +“‘The curate of the village sent those who should bring +home the body; and some days afterward he came unto me, beseeching me +to write the epitaph. Being no friend to stonecutters’ charges, +I entered not into biography, but wrote these few words:-<br> +<br> +<br> +JOANNES WELLERBY,<br> +LITERARUM QUÆSIVIT GLORIAM,<br> +VIDET DEI.’”<br> +<br> +<br> +“Poor tack! poor tack!” sourly quoth Master Silas. +“If your wise doctor could say nothing more about the fool, who +died like a rotten sheep among the darnels, his Latin might have held +out for the father, and might have told people he was as cool as a cucumber +at home, and as hot as pepper in battle. Could he not find room +enough on the whinstone, to tell the folks of the village how he played +the devil among the dons, burning their fingers when they would put +thumbscrews upon us, punching them in the weasand as a blacksmith punches +a horse-shoe, and throwing them overboard like bilgewater?<br> +<br> +“Has Oxford lost all her Latin? Here is no <i>capitani filius</i>;<i> +</i>no more mention of family than a Welchman would have allowed him; +no <i>hîc jacet</i>;<i> </i>and, worse than all, the devil a tittle +of <i>spe redemptionis</i>,<i> </i>or <i>anno Domini</i>.”<br> +<br> +“Willy!” quoth Sir Thomas, “I shrewdly do suspect +there was more, and that thou hast forgotten it.”<br> +<br> +“Sir!” answered Willy, “I wrote not down the words, +fearing to mis-spell them, and begged them of the doctor, when I took +my leave of him on the morrow; and verily he wrote down all he had repeated. +I keep them always in the tin-box in my waistcoat-pocket, among the +eel-hooks, on a scrap of paper a finger’s length and breadth, +folded in the middle to fit. And when the eels are running, I +often take it out and read it before I am aware. I could as soon +forget my own epitaph as this.”<br> +<br> +“Simpleton!” said Sir Thomas, with his gentle, compassionate +smile; “but thou hast cleared thyself.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I think the doctor gave one idle chap as much solid pudding as +he could digest, with a slice to spare for another.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“And yet after this pudding the doctor gave him a spoonful of +custard, flavoured with a little bitter, which was mostly left at the +bottom for the other idle chap.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas not only did endure this very goodnaturedly, but deigned +even to take in good part the smile upon my countenance, as though he +were a smile collector, and as though his estate were so humble that +he could hold his laced bonnet (in all his bravery) for bear and fiddle.<br> +<br> +He then said unto Willy,<br> +<br> +“Place likewise this custard before us.”<br> +<br> +“There is but little of it; the platter is shallow,” replied +he; “’t was suited to Master Ethelbert’s appetite. +The contents were these:<br> +<br> +“‘The things whereon thy whole soul brooded in its innermost +recesses, and with all its warmth and energy, will pass unprized and +unregarded, not only throughout thy lifetime but long after. For +the higher beauties of poetry are beyond the capacity, beyond the vision +of almost all. Once perhaps in half a century a single star is +discovered, then named and registered, then mentioned by five studious +men to five more; at last some twenty say, or repeat in writing, what +they have heard about it. Other stars await other discoveries. +Few and solitary and wide asunder are those who calculate their relative +distances, their mysterious influences, their glorious magnitude, and +their stupendous height. ’T is so, believe me, and ever +was so, with the truest and best poetry. Homer, they say, was +blind; he might have been ere he died, - that he sat among the blind, +we are sure.<br> +<br> +“‘Happy they who, like this young lad from Stratford, write +poetry on the saddle-bow when their geldings are jaded, and keep the +desk for better purposes.’<br> +<br> +“The young gentlemen, like the elderly, all turned their faces +toward me, to my confusion, so much did I remark of sneer and scoff +at my cost. Master Ethelbert was the only one who spared me. +He smiled and said, -<br> +<br> +“‘Be patient! From the higher heavens of poetry, it +is long before the radiance of the brightest star can reach the world +below. We hear that one man finds out one beauty, another man +finds out another, placing his observatory and instruments on the poet’s +grave. The worms must have eaten us before it is rightly known +what we are. It is only when we are skeletons that we are boxed +and ticketed, and prized and shewn. Be it so! I shall not +be tired of waiting.’”<br> +<br> +“Reasonable youth!” said Sir Thomas; “yet both he +and Glaston walk rather <i>a-straddle</i>,<i> </i>methinks. They +might have stepped up to thee more straightforwardly, and told thee +the trade ill suiteth thee, having little fire, little fantasy, and +little learning. Furthermore, that one poet, as one bull, sufficeth +for two parishes, and that where they are stuck too close together they +are apt to fire, like haystacks. I have known it myself; I have +had my malignants and scoffers.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I never could have thought it!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“There again! Another proof of thy inexperience.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Mat Atterend! Mat Atterend! where wert thou sleeping?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I shall now from my own stores impart unto thee what will avail +to tame thee, shewing the utter hopelessness of standing on that golden +weathercock which supporteth but one at a time.<br> +<br> +“The passion for poetry wherewith Monsieur Dubois would have inspired +me, as he was bound to do, being paid beforehand, had cold water thrown +upon it by that unlucky one, Sir Everard. He ridiculed the idea +of male and female rhymes, and the necessity of trying them as rigidly +by the eye as by the ear, - saying to Monsieur Dubois that the palate, +in which the French excel all mortals, ought also to be consulted in +their acceptance or rejection. Monsieur Dubois told us that if +we did not wish to be taught French verse, he would teach us English. +Sir Everard preferred the Greek; but Monsieur Dubois would not engage +to teach the mysteries of that poetry in fewer than thirty lessons, +- having (since his misfortunes) forgotten the letters and some other +necessaries.<br> +<br> +“The first poem I ever wrote was in the character of a shepherd, +to Mistress Anne Nanfan, daughter of Squire Fulke Nanfan, of Worcestershire, +at that time on a visit to the worshipful family of Compton at Long +Compton.<br> +<br> +“We were young creatures, - I but twenty-four and seven months +(for it was written on the 14th of May), and she well-nigh upon a twelve-month +younger. My own verses, the first, are neither here nor there; +indeed, they were imbedded in solid prose, like lampreys and ram’s-horns +<a name="citation181a"></a><a href="#footnote181a">{181a}</a> in our +limestone, and would be hard to get out whole. What they are may +be seen by her answer, all in verse:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“‘Faithful shepherd! dearest Tommy!<br> +I have received the letter from ye,<br> + And mightily delight therein.<br> +But mother, <i>she </i>says, “Nanny! Nanny!<br> +<i>How</i>,<i> being staid and prudent</i>,<i> can ye<br> + Think of a man and not of sin</i>?”<br> +<br> +“Sir shepherd! I held down my head,<br> +And “<i>Mother! fie, for shame</i>!” I said;<br> + All I could say would not content her;<br> +Mother she would for ever harp on’t,<br> +“<i>A man’s no better than a sarpent,<br> + And not a crumb more innocenter</i>.”’<br> +<br> +<br> +“I know not how it happeneth; but a poet doth open before a poet, +albeit of baser sort. It is not that I hold my poetry to be better +than some other in time past, it is because I would shew thee that I +was virtuous and wooed virtuously, that I repeat it. Furthermore, +I wished to leave a deep impression on the mother’s mind that +she was exceedingly wrong in doubting my innocence.<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Gracious Heaven! and was this too doubted?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Maybe not; but the whole race of men, the whole male sex, wanted +and found in me a protector. I shewed her what I was ready to +do.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“Perhaps, sir, it was for that very thing that she put the daughter +back and herself forward.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I say not so; but thou mayest know as much as befitteth, by what +follows:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“‘Worshipful lady! honoured madam!<br> +I at this present truly glad am<br> + To have so fair an opportunity<br> +Of saying I would be the man<br> +To bind in wedlock Mistress Anne,<br> + Living with her in holy unity.<br> +<br> +“‘And for a jointure I will gi’e her<br> +A good two hundred pounds a year<br> + Accruing from my landed rents,<br> +Whereof see t’other paper, telling<br> +Lands, copses, and grown woods for felling,<br> + Capons, and cottage tenements.<br> +<br> +“‘And who must come at sound of horn,<br> +And who pays but a barley-corn,<br> + And who is bound to keep a whelp,<br> +And what is brought me for the pound,<br> +And copyholders, which are sound,<br> + And which do need the leech’s help.<br> +<br> +“‘And you may see in these two pages<br> +Exact their illnesses and ages,<br> + Enough (God willing) to content ye;<br> +Who looks full red, who looks full yellow,<br> +Who plies the mullen, who the mallow,<br> + Who fails at fifty, who at twenty.<br> +<br> +“‘Jim Yates must go; he’s one day very hot,<br> +And one day ice; I take a heriot;<br> + And poorly, poorly’s Jacob Burgess.<br> +The doctor tells me he has pour’d<br> +Into his stomach half his hoard<br> + Of anthelminticals and purges.<br> +<br> +“‘Judith, the wife of Ebenezer<br> +Fillpots, won’t have him long to tease her;<br> + Fillpots blows hot and cold like Jim,<br> +And, sleepless lest the boys should plunder<br> +His orchard, he must soon knock under;<br> + Death has been looking out for him.<br> +<br> +“‘He blusters; but his good yard land<br> +Under the church, his ale-house, and<br> + His Bible, which he cut in spite,<br> +Must all fall in; he stamps and swears<br> +And sets his neighbours by the ears -<br> + Fillpots, thy saddle sits not tight!'<br> +<br> +<br> +“The epitaph is ready:-<br> +<br> +<br> + <i>‘Here<br> +Lies one whom all his friends did fear<br> + More than they ever feared the Lord;<br> +In peace he was at times a Christian;<br> +In strife, what stubborner Philistine!<br> + Sing, sing his psalm with one accord.<br> +<br> +<br> +</i>“‘And he who lent my lord his wife<br> +Has but a very ticklish life;<br> + Although she won him many a hundred,<br> +’T won’t do; none comes with briefs and wills,<br> +And all her gainings are gilt pills<br> + From the sick madman that she plundered.<br> +<br> +“‘And the brave lad who sent the bluff<br> +Olive-faced Frenchman (sure enough)<br> + Screaming and scouring like a plover,<br> +Must follow - him I mean who dash’d<br> +Into the water and then thrash’d<br> + The cullion past the town of Dover.<br> +<br> +“‘But first there goes the blear old dame<br> +Who nurs’d me; you have heard her name,<br> + No doubt, at Compton, Sarah Salways;<br> +There are twelve groats at once, beside<br> +The frying-pan in which she fried<br> + Her pancakes.<br> + Madam, I am always, etc.,<br> + Sir THOMAS LUCY, +Knight.’<br> +<br> +<br> +“I did believe that such a clear and conscientious exposure of +my affairs would have brought me a like return. My letter was +sent back to me with small courtesy. It may be there was no paper +in the house, or none equalling mine in whiteness. No notice was +taken of the rent-roll; but between the second and third stanza these +four lines were written, in a very fine hand:-<br> +<br> +<br> +“‘Most honour’d knight, Sir Thomas! two<br> +For merry Nan will never do;<br> +Now under favour let me say ’t,<br> +She will bring more herself than that.’<br> +<br> +<br> +I have reason to believe that the worthy lady did neither write nor +countenance the same, perhaps did not ever know of them. She always +had at her elbow one who jogged it when he listed, and although he could +not overrule the daughter, he took especial care that none other should +remove her from his tutelage, even when she had fairly grown up to woman’s +estate.<br> +<br> +“Now, after all this condescension and confidence, promise me, +good lad, promise that thou wilt not edge and elbow me. Never +let it be said, when people say, <i>Sir Thomas was a poet when he will +edit, -</i> <i>So is Bill Shakspeare</i>! It beseemeth not that +our names do go together cheek by jowl in this familiar fashion, like +an old beagle and a whelp, in couples, where if the one would, the other +would not.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“Sir, while these thoughts are passing in your mind, remember +there is another pair of couples out of which it would be as well to +keep the cur’s neck.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Young man! dost thou understand Master Silas?”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“But too well. Not those couples in which it might be apprehended +that your worship and my unworthiness should appear too close together; +but those sorrowfuller which peradventure might unite Master Silas and +me in our road to Warwick and upwards. But I resign all right +and title unto these as willingly as I did unto the other, and am as +ready to let him go alone.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“If we keep wheeling and wheeling, like a flock of pigeons, and +rising again when we are within a foot of the ground, we shall never +fill the craw.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Do thou then question him, Silas.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“I am none of the quorum; the business is none of mine.”<br> +<br> +Then Sir Thomas took Master Silas again into the bay window, and said +softly, -<br> +<br> +“Silas, he hath no inkling of thy meaning. The business +is a ticklish one. I like not overmuch to meddle and make therein.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas stood dissatisfied awhile, and then answered, -<br> +<br> +“The girl’s mother, sir, was housemaid and sempstress in +your own family, time back, and you thereby have a right over her unto +the third and fourth generation.”<br> +<br> +“I may have, Silas,” said his worship, “but it was +no longer than four or five years agone that folks were fain to speak +maliciously of me for only finding my horse in her hovel.”<br> +<br> +Sir Silas looked red and shiny as a ripe strawberry on a Snitterfield +tile, and answered somewhat peevishly, -<br> +<br> +“The same folks, I misgive me, may find the rogue’s there +any night in the week.”<br> +<br> +Whereunto replied Sir Thomas, mortifiedly,<br> +<br> +“I cannot think it, Silas! I cannot think it.”<br> +<br> +And after some hesitation and disquiet, -<br> +<br> +“Nay, I am resolved I will not think it; no man, friend or enemy, +shall push it into me.”<br> +<br> +“Worshipful sir,” answered Master Silas, “I am as +resolute as any one in what I would think and what I would not think, +and never was known to fight dunghill in either cockpit.<br> +<br> +“Were he only out of the way, she might do duty, but what doth +she now?<br> +<br> +“She points his young beard for him; persuading him it grows thicker +and thicker, blacker and blacker; she washes his ruff, stiffens it, +plaits it, tries it upon his neck, removes the hair from under it, pinches +it with thumb and fore-finger, pretending that he hath moiled it, puts +her hand all the way round it, <i>setting it to rights, </i>as she calleth +it -<br> +<br> +“Ah, Sir Thomas! a louder whistle than that will never call her +back again when she is off with him.”<br> +<br> +Sir Thomas was angered, and cried tartly, -<br> +<br> +“Who whistled? I would know.”<br> +<br> +Master Silas said submissively, -<br> +<br> +“Your honour, as wrongfully I fancied.”<br> +<br> +“Wrongfully, indeed, and to my no small disparagement and discomfort,” +said the knight, verily believing that he had not whistled; for deep +and dubious were his cogitations.<br> +<br> +“I protest,” went he on to say, “I protest it was +the wind of the casement; and if I live another year I will put a better +in the place of it. Whistle indeed - for what? I care no +more about her than about an unfledged cygnet, - a child, <a name="citation189a"></a><a href="#footnote189a">{189a}</a> +a chicken, a mere kitten, a crab-blossom in the hedge.”<br> +<br> +The dignity of his worship was wounded by Master Silas unaware, and +his wrath again turned suddenly upon poor William.<br> +<br> +“Hark-ye, knave! hark-ye again, ill-looking stripling, lanky from +vicious courses! I will reclaim thee from them; I will do what +thy own father would, and cannot. Thou shalt follow his business.”<br> +<br> +“I cannot do better, may it please your worship!” said the +lad.<br> +<br> +“It shall lead thee unto wealth and respectability,” said +the knight, somewhat appeased by his ready compliancy and low, gentle +voice. “Yea, but not here, - no witches, no wantons (this word +fell gravely and at full-length upon the ear), no spells hereabout.<br> +<br> +“Gloucestershire is within a measured mile of thy dwelling. +There is one at Bristol, formerly a parish-boy, or little better, who +now writeth himself <i>gentleman </i>in large, round letters, and hath +been elected, I hear, to serve as burgess in parliament for his native +city; just as though he had eaten a capon or turkey-poult in his youth, +and had actually been at grammar school and college. When he began, +he had not credit for a goat-skin; and now, behold ye! this very coat +upon my back did cost me eight shillings the dearer for him, he bought +up wool so largely.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“May it please your worship! if my father so ordereth, I go cheerfully.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Thou art grown discreet and dutiful. I am fain to command +thy release, taking thy promise on oath, and some reasonable security, +that thou wilt abstain and withhold in future from that idle and silly +slut, that sly and scoffing giggler, Hannah Hathaway, with whom, to +the heartache of thy poor, worthy father, thou wantonly keepest company.”<br> +<br> +Then did Sir Thomas ask Master Silas Gough for the Book of Life, bidding +him deliver it into the right hand of Billy, with an eye upon him that +he touch it with both lips, - it being taught by the Jesuits, and caught +too greedily out of their society and communion, that whoso toucheth +it with one lip only, and thereafter sweareth falsely, cannot be called +a perjurer, since perjury is breaking an oath. But breaking half +an oath, as he doth who toucheth the Bible or crucifix with one lip +only, is no more perjury than breaking an eggshell is breaking an egg, +the shell being a part, and the egg being an integral.<br> +<br> +William did take the Holy Book with all due reverence the instant it +was offered to his hand. His stature seemed to rise therefrom +as from a pulpit, and Sir Thomas was quite edified.<br> +<br> +“Obedient and conducible youth!” said he. “See +there, Master Silas! what hast thou now to say against him? Who +sees farthest?”<br> +<br> +“The man from the gallows is the most likely, bating his nightcap +and blinker,” said Master Silas, peevishly. “He hath +not outwitted me yet.”<br> +<br> +“He seized upon the Anchor of Faith like a martyr,” said +Sir Thomas, “and even now his face burns red as elder-wine before +the gossips.”<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE.<br> +<br> +“I await the further orders of your worship from the chair.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“I return and seat myself.”<br> +<br> +And then did Sir Thomas say with great complacency and satisfaction +in the ear of Master Silas, -<br> +<br> +“What civility, and deference, and sedateness of mind, Silas!”<br> +<br> +But Master Silas answered not.<br> +<br> +WILLIAM SHAKSPEARE<br> +<br> +“Must I swear, sirs?”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Yea, swear; be of good courage. I protest to thee by my +honour and knighthood, no ill shall come unto thee therefrom. +Thou shalt not be circumvented in thy simpleness and inexperience.”<br> +<br> +Willy, having taken the Book of Life, did kiss it piously, and did press +it unto his breast, saying,<br> +<br> +“Tenderest love is the growth of my heart, as the grass is of +Alvescote mead.<br> +<br> +“May I lose my life or my friends, or my memory, or my reason; +may I be viler in my own eyes than those men are - ”<br> +<br> +Here he was interrupted, most lovingly, by Sir Thomas, who said unto +him, -<br> +<br> +“Nay, nay, nay! poor youth! do not tell me so! they are not such +very bad men, since thou appealest unto Cæsar, - that is, unto +the judgment-seat.”<br> +<br> +Now his worship did mean the two witnesses, Joseph and Euseby; and, +sooth to say there be many worse. But William had them not in +his eye; his thoughts were elsewhere, as will be evident, for he went +on thus:-<br> +<br> +“ - if ever I forget or desert thee, or ever cease to worship +<a name="citation193a"></a><a href="#footnote193a">{193a}</a> and cherish +thee, my Hannah!”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“The madman! the audacious, desperate, outrageous villain! +Look-ye, sir! where he flung the Holy Gospel! Behold it on the +holly and box boughs in the chimney-place, spreaden all abroad, like +a lad about to be whipped!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Miscreant knave! I will send after him forthwith!<br> +<br> +“Ho, there! is the caitiff at hand, or running off?”<br> +<br> +Jonas Greenfield the butler did budge forward after a while, and say, +on being questioned, -<br> +<br> +“Surely, that was he! Was his nag tied to the iron gate +at the lodge, Master Silas?”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“What should I know about a thief’s nag, Jonas Greenfield?”<br> +<br> +“And didst thou let him go, Jonas, - even thou?” said Sir +Thomas. “What! are none found faithful?”<br> +<br> +“Lord love your worship,” said Jonas Greenfield; “a +man of threescore and two may miss catching a kite upon wing. +Fleetness doth not make folks the faithfuller, or that youth yonder +beats us all in faithfulness.<br> +<br> +“Look! he darts on like a greyhound whelp after a leveret. +He, sure enough, it was! I now remember the sorrel mare his father +bought of John Kinderley last Lammas, swift as he threaded the trees +along the park. He must have reached Wellesbourne ere now at that +gallop, and pretty nigh Walton-hill.”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“Merciful Christ! grant the country be rid of him for ever! +What dishonour upon his friends and native town! A reputable wool-stapler’s +son turned gipsy and poet for life.”<br> +<br> +SIR SILAS.<br> +<br> +“A Beelzebub; he spake as bigly and fiercely as a soaken yeoman +at an election feast, - this obedient and conducible youth!”<br> +<br> +SIR THOMAS.<br> +<br> +“It was so written. Hold thy peace, Silas!”<br> +<br> +LAUS DEO.<br> +E. B.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +POST-SCRIPTUM<br> +BY ME, EPHRAIM BARNETT.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +Twelve days are over and gone since William Shakspeare did leave our +parts. And the spinster, Hannah Hathaway, is in sad doleful plight +about him; forasmuch as Master Silas Cough went yesterday unto her, +in her mother’s house at Shottery, and did desire both her and +her mother to take heed and be admonished, that if ever she, Hannah, +threw away one thought after the runagate William Shakspeare, he should +swing.<br> +<br> +The girl could do nothing but weep; while as the mother did give her +solemn promise that her daughter should never more think about him all +her natural life, reckoning from the moment of this her promise.<br> +<br> +And the maiden, now growing more reasonable, did promise the same. +But Master Silas said,<br> +<br> +“<i>I doubt you will, though</i>.”<br> +<br> +“<i>No</i>,” said the mother, “<i>I answer for her +she shall not think of him, even if she see his ghost</i>.”<br> +<br> +Hannah screamed, and swooned, the better to forget him. And Master +Silas went home easier and contenteder. For now all the worst +of his hard duty was accomplished, - he having been, on the Wednesday +of last week, at the speech of Master John Shakspeare, Will’s +father, to inquire whether the sorrel mare was his. To which question +the said Master John Shakspeare did answer, “<i>Yea</i>.”<br> +<br> +“<i>Enough said</i>!” rejoined Master Silas.<br> +<br> +“<i>Horse-stealing is capital. We shall bind thee over to +appear against the culprit, as prosecutor, at the next assizes</i>.”<br> +<br> +May the Lord in his mercy give the lad a good deliverance, if so be +it be no sin to wish it!<br> +<br> +<i>October</i> 1, A. D. 1582.<br> +<br> +LAUS DEO.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +Footnotes:<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote8a"></a><a href="#citation8a">{8a}</a> Quicken, +bring to life.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote8b"></a><a href="#citation8b">{8b}</a> Debtors +were often let out of prison at the coronation of a new king; but creditors +never paid by him.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote21a"></a><a href="#citation21a">{21a}</a> The +word here omitted is quite illegible. It appears to have some +reference to the language of the Highlanders. That it was rough +and outlandish is apparent from the reprimand of Sir Thomas.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote29a"></a><a href="#citation29a">{29a}</a> By +this deposition it would appear that Shakspeare had formed the idea, +if not the outline, of several plays already, much as he altered them, +no doubt, in after life.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote38a"></a><a href="#citation38a">{38a}</a> The +greater part of the value of the present work arises from the certain +information it affords us on the price of small needles in the reign +of Elizabeth. Fine needles in her days were made only at Liege, +and some few cities in the Netherlands, and may be reckoned among those +things which were much dearer than they are now.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote39b"></a><a href="#citation39b">{39b}</a> Mr. +Tooke had not yet published his <i>Pantheon.<br> +<br> +</i><a name="footnote44a"></a><a href="#citation44a">{44a}</a> +This was really the case within our memory.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote45a"></a><a href="#citation45a">{45a}</a> It +was formerly thought, and perhaps is thought still, that the hand of +a man recently hanged, being rubbed on the tumour of the king’s +evil, was able to cure it. The crown and the gallows divided the +glory of the sovereign remedy.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote46a"></a><a href="#citation46a">{46a}</a> And +yet he never did sail any farther than into Bohemia.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote50a"></a><a href="#citation50a">{50a}</a> <i>Smock</i>,<i> +</i>formerly a part of the female dress, corresponding with <i>shroud</i>,<i> +</i>or what we now call (or lately called) <i>shirt </i>of the man’s. +Fox, speaking of Latimer’s burning, says, “Being slipped +into his <i>shroud</i>.”<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote50b"></a><a href="#citation50b">{50b}</a> Faith +nailing the ears is a strong and sacred metaphor. The rhyme is +imperfect, - Shakspeare was not always attentive to these minor beauties.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote53a"></a><a href="#citation53a">{53a}</a> Shakspeare +seems to have profited afterward by this metaphor, even more perhaps +than by all the direct pieces of instruction in poetry given him so +handsomely by the worthy knight. And here it may be permitted +the editor to profit also by the manuscript, correcting in Shakspeare +what is absolute nonsense as now printed:-<br> +<br> +“<i>Vaulting </i>ambition that o’erleaps <i>itself</i>.”<br> +<br> +It should be its <i>sell. Sell </i>is <i>saddle </i>in Spenser +and elsewhere, from the Latin and Italian.<br> +<br> +This emendation was shewn to the late Mr. Hazlitt, an acute man at least, +who expressed his conviction that it was the right reading, and added +somewhat more in approbation of it.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote55a"></a><a href="#citation55a">{55a}</a> It +has been suggested that this answer was borrowed from Virgil, and goes +strongly against the genuineness of the manuscript. The Editor’s +memory was upon the stretch to recollect the words; the learned critic +supplied them:-<br> +<br> +“Solum Æneas vocat: <i>et vocet</i>,<i> </i>oro.”<br> +<br> +The Editor could only reply, indeed weakly, that <i>calling </i>and +<i>waiting </i>are not exactly the same, unless when tradesmen rap and +gentlemen are leaving town.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote66a"></a><a href="#citation66a">{66a}</a> Here +the manuscript is blotted; but the probability is that it was <i>fishmonger</i>,<i> +</i>rather than <i>ironmonger</i>,<i> </i>fishmongers having always +been notorious cheats and liars.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote70a"></a><a href="#citation70a">{70a}</a> <i>On +the nail </i>appears to be intended to express <i>ready payment.<br> +<br> +</i><a name="footnote72a"></a><a href="#citation72a">{72a}</a> +The Cordilleras are mountains, we know, running through South America. +Perhaps a pun was intended; or possibly it might, in the age of Elizabeth, +have been a vulgar term for <i>hanging</i>,<i> </i>although we find +no trace of the expression in other books. We have no clue to +guide us here. It might be suggested that Shakspeare, who shines +little in geographical knowledge, fancied the Cordilleras to extend +into North America, had convicts in his time been transported to those +colonies. Certainly, many adventurers and desperate men went thither.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote89a"></a><a href="#citation89a">{89a}</a> In +that age there was prevalent a sort of cholera, on which Fracastorius, +half a century before, wrote a Latin poem, employing the graceful nymphs +of Homer and Hesiod, somewhat disguised, in the drudgery of pounding +certain barks and minerals. An article in the Impeachment of Cardinal +Wolsey accuses him of breathing in the king’s face, knowing that +he was affected with this cholera. It was a great assistant to +the Reformation, by removing some of the most vigorous champions that +opposed it. In the Holy College it was followed by the <i>sweating +sickness</i>,<i> </i>which thinned it very sorely; and several even +of God’s vicegerents were laid under tribulation by it. +Among the chambers of the Vatican it hung for ages, and it crowned the +labours of Pope Leo XII., of blessed memory, with a crown somewhat uneasy.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote105a"></a><a href="#citation105a">{105a}</a> +Sir Thomas seems to have been jealous of these two towers, certainly +the finest in England. If Warwick Castle could borrow the windows +from Kenilworth, it would be complete. The knight is not very +courteous on its hospitality. He may, perhaps, have experienced +it, as Garrick and Quin did under the present occupant’s grandfather, +on whom the title of Earl of Warwick was conferred for the eminent services +he had rendered to his country as one of the lords of the bedchamber +to his Majesty George the Second. The verses of Garrick on his +invitation and visit are remembered by many. Quin’s are +less known.<br> +<br> +He shewed us Guy’s pot, but the soup he forgot;<br> + Not a meal did his lordship allow,<br> +Unless we gnaw’d o’er the blade-bone of the boar,<br> + Or the rib of the famous <i>Dun Cow.<br> +<br> +</i>When Nevile the great Earl of Warwick lived here,<br> + Three oxen for breakfast were slain,<br> +And strangers invited to sports and good cheer,<br> + And invited again and again.<br> +<br> +This earl is in purse or in spirit so low,<br> + That he with no oxen will feed ’em;<br> +And all of the former great doings we know<br> + Is, he gives us a book and we read ’em.<br> +<br> +GARRICK.<br> +<br> +<i>Stale </i>peers are but tough morsels, and ’t were well<br> + If we had found the <i>fresh </i>more eatable;<br> +Garrick! I do not say ’t were well for <i>him</i>,<br> + For we had pluck’d the plover limb from limb.<br> +<br> +QUIN.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote106a"></a><a href="#citation106a">{106a}</a> +Another untoward blot! but leaving no doubt of the word. The only +doubt is whether he meant the <i>muzzle </i>of the animal itself, or +one of those leathern muzzles which are often employed to coerce the +violence of ferocious animals. In besieged cities men have been +reduced to such extremities. But the <i>muzzle</i>,<i> </i>in +this place, we suspect, would more properly be called the <i>blinker</i>,<i> +</i>which is often put upon bulls in pastures when they are vicious.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote108a"></a><a href="#citation108a">{108a}</a> +This would countenance the opinion of those who are inclined to believe +that Shakspeare was a Roman Catholic. His hatred and contempt +of priests, which are demonstrated wherever he has introduced them, +may have originated from the unfairness of Silas Gough. Nothing +of that kind, we may believe, had occurred to him from friars and monks, +whom he treats respectfully and kindly, perhaps in return for some such +services to himself as Friar Lawrence had bestowed on Romeo, - or rather +less; for Shakspeare was grateful. The words quoted by him from +some sermon, now lost, prove him no friend to the filchings and swindling +of popery.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote111a"></a><a href="#citation111a">{111a}</a> +It is a pity that the old divines should have indulged, as they often +did, in such images as this. Some readers in search of argumentative +subtility, some in search of sound Christianity, some in search of pure +English undefiled, have gone through with them; and their labours (however +heavy) have been well repaid.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote124a"></a><a href="#citation124a">{124a}</a> +<i>Tilley valley </i>was the favourite adjuration of James the Second. +It appears in the comedies of Shakspeare.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote133a"></a><a href="#citation133a">{133a}</a> +<i>Whoreson</i>,<i> </i>if we may hazard a conjecture, means the son +of a woman of ill-repute. In this we are borne out by the context. +It appears to have escaped the commentators on Shakspeare.<br> +<br> +<i>Whoreson</i>,<i> </i>a word of frequent occurrence in the comedies; +more rarely found in the tragedies. Although now obsolete, the +expression proves that there were (or were believed to be) such persons +formerly.<br> +<br> +The Editor is indebted to two learned friends for these two remarks, +which appear no less just than ingenious.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote153a"></a><a href="#citation153a">{153a}</a> +<i>Belly-ache</i>,<i> </i>a disorder once not uncommon in England. +Even the name is now almost forgotten; yet the elder of us may remember +at least the report of it, and some, perhaps, even the complaint itself, +in our school-days. It usually broke out about the cherry season; +and in some cases made its appearance again at the first nutting.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote157a"></a><a href="#citation157a">{157a}</a> +Sir Thomas borrowed this expression from Spenser, who thus calls Queen +Elizabeth.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote159a"></a><a href="#citation159a">{159a}</a> +Humboldt notices this.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote164a"></a><a href="#citation164a">{164a}</a> +<i>Pragmatical </i>here means only <i>precise.<br> +<br> +</i><a name="footnote181a"></a><a href="#citation181a">{181a}</a> +It is doubtful whether Doctor Buckland will agree with Sir Thomas that +these petrifactions are ram’s-horns and lampreys.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote189a"></a><a href="#citation189a">{189a}</a> +She was then twenty-eight years of age. Sir Thomas must have spoken +of her from earlier recollections. Shakspeare was in his twentieth +year.<br> +<br> +<a name="footnote193a"></a><a href="#citation193a">{193a}</a> +It is to be feared that his taste for venison outlasted that for matrimony, +spite of this vow.<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +<br> +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, CITATION ETC. OF W. SHAKSPEARE ***<br> +<pre> + +******This file should be named trsk10h.htm or trsk10h.zip****** +Corrected EDITIONS of our EBooks get a new NUMBER, trsk11h.htm +VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, trsk10ah.htm + +Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US +unless a copyright notice is included. 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