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| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 07:33:14 -0800 |
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| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 07:33:14 -0800 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e7ce8c2 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #51085 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/51085) diff --git a/old/51085-0.txt b/old/51085-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index e6f2e20..0000000 --- a/old/51085-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,5316 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Helen's Babies, by John Habberton - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Helen's Babies - -Author: John Habberton - -Illustrator: Tod Dwiggins - -Release Date: January 30, 2016 [EBook #51085] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HELEN'S BABIES *** - - - - -Produced by David Edwards, Les Galloway and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - -[Illustration: Woman, Man, and two children] - - - HELEN’S BABIES - - _by_ - - JOHN HABBERTON - - _Illustrated by_ - - Tod Dwiggins - - GROSSET & DUNLAP - PUBLISHERS NEW YORK - - - - - COPYRIGHT, 1908, BY - GROSSET & DUNLAP - - _HELEN’S BABIES_ - - _All Rights Reserved_ - - - _Printed in the United States of America_ - - - - -Dedication - - -Everyone knows that there are, in the World, hundreds of thousands of -fathers and mothers, each one of whom possesses the best children that -ever lived. I am, therefore, moved by a sense of the eternal fitness of -things to dedicate this little volume to - - The Parents of the - Best Children in the World - -with the reminder that it is considered the proper thing for each -person, to whom a book is dedicated, to purchase and read a copy. - - - - -LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS - - - _Page_ - - “We Call ’Em the Imps” 5 - - “Here’s My Grass-Cutter” 7 - - “Wheels Go Wound” 11 - - “I Believe You Arranged the Floral Decorations” 15 - - Dropping Them Into the Bathtub 17 - - Budge’s Idea of Jonah and the Whale 25 - - “We Hope He’s Got Lots of Candy” 29 - - I Encountered a Door Ajar 35 - - The Dolly Found 37 - - “Papa Don’t Whip Us With Sticks” 41 - - An Amateur in Packing 45 - - “I Hunged Over More Than Toddie Did” 58 - - “We’ve Got an Umbrella” 67 - - “When I Was a Soldier,” Remarked Toddie 71 - - “Kish My Dolly, Too” 79 - - Two Little Savages 85 - - My Nephew Budge In His Best 91 - - Putting an Extension on the Afternoon 97 - - “I Was All Ate Up By a Lion” 103 - - Toddie Investigating a Hornet’s Nest 109 - - “But Let’s Hurry Home” 113 - - “Oo-Ee! Zha Turtle On My Plate” 125 - - Acting Upon Budge’s Suggestion 133 - - To Skip All Love Talk in Novels 139 - - The Goat, the Carriage, and the Boys 143 - - “An’ Wawtoo to Make Mud-Pies” 151 - - “Wantsh Dancin’ Tune” 157 - - Two Great Hands Seized Toddie 163 - - “He’s Got a Dead Mouse to be Jonah Now” 165 - - Holding Over His Head a Ragged Umbrella 177 - - “I Didn’t Hurt De ’Ittle Mousie” 181 - - A Tribute to Mothers 185 - - I Shouted “Hurrah” 191 - - Two Clouds Go Bump Into Each Other 199 - - “Can’t You Be a Whay-al?” 203 - - “Azh Wadiant Azh ze Matchless Wose” 213 - - Mrs Mayton Stooped to Pick Up Her Glasses 219 - - Made Him Awful Sick 225 - - “The Sun’ll Be Disappointed If It Don’t Have Us - to Look At” 231 - - Galloping Furiously to the Village 235 - - Mike Telling Maggie to Get Lunch 237 - - - - -HELEN’S BABIES - - -The first cause, so far as it can be determined, of the existence of -this book may be found in the following letter, written by my only -married sister, and received by me, Harry Burton, salesman of white -goods, bachelor, aged twenty-eight, and received just as I was trying -to decide where I should spend a fortnight’s vacation: - - “HILLCREST, June 15, 1875. - - “DEAR HARRY:—Remembering that you are always complaining that you - never have a chance to read, and knowing you won’t get it this summer, - if you spend your vacation among people of your own set, I write to - ask you to come up here. I admit that I am not wholly disinterested in - inviting you. The truth is, Tom and I are invited to spend a fortnight - with my old school-mate, Alice Wayne, who, you know, is the dearest - girl in the world, though you _didn’t_ obey me and marry her before - Frank Wayne appeared. Well, we’re dying to go, for Alice and Frank - live in splendid style; but as they haven’t included our children in - their invitation, and have no children of their own, we must leave - Budge and Toddie at home. I’ve no doubt they’ll be perfectly safe, for - my girl is a jewel, and devoted to the children, but I would feel a - great deal easier if there was a man in the house. Besides, there’s - the silver, and burglars are less likely to break into a house where - there’s a savage-looking man. (Never mind about thanking me for the - compliment.) If _you’ll_ only come up, my mind will be completely at - rest. The children won’t give you the slightest trouble; they’re the - best children in the world—everybody says so. - - “Tom has plenty of cigars, I know, for the money I should have had - for a new suit went to pay his cigar-man. He has some new claret, - too, that _he_ goes into ecstasies over, though _I_ can’t tell it - from the vilest black ink, except by the color. Our horses are in - splendid condition, and so is the garden—you see I don’t forget your - old passion for flowers. And, last and best, there never were so many - handsome girls at Hillcrest as there are among the summer boarders - already here; the girls you are already acquainted with here will see - that you meet all the newer acquisitions. - - “Reply by telegraph right away. Of course you’ll say ‘Yes.’ - - “In great haste, your loving - “SISTER HELEN. - - “P.S.—You shall have our own chamber; it catches every breeze, and - commands the finest views. The children’s room communicates with it; - so, if anything _should_ happen to the darlings at night, you’ll be - sure to hear them.” - -“Just the thing!” I ejaculated. Five minutes later I had telegraphed -Helen my acceptance of her invitation, and had mentally selected books -enough to busy me during a dozen vacations. Without sharing Helen’s -belief that her boys were the best ones in the world, I knew them well -enough to feel assured that they would not give me any annoyance. There -were two of them, since Baby Phil died last fall; Budge, the elder, -was five years of age, and had generally, during my flying visits to -Helen, worn a shy, serious, meditative, noble face, with great, pure, -penetrating eyes, that made me almost fear their stare. Tom declared he -was a born philanthropist or prophet, and Helen made so free with Miss -Mulock’s lines as to sing: - - “Ah, the day that _thou_ goest a wooing, - Budgie, my boy!” - -Toddie had seen but three summers, and was a happy little know-nothing, -with a head full of tangled yellow hair, and a very pretty fancy for -finding out sunbeams and dancing in them. I had long envied Tom -his horses, his garden, his house and his location, and the idea of -controlling them for a fortnight was particularly delightful. Tom’s -taste in cigars and claret I had always respected, while the lady -inhabitants of Hillcrest were, according to my memory, much like those -of every other suburban village—the fairest of their sex. - -Three days later I made the hour and a half trip between New York and -Hillcrest, and hired a hackman to drive me over to Tom’s. Half a mile -from my brother-in-law’s residence, our horses shied violently, and the -driver, after talking freely to them, turned to me and remarked: - -“That was one of the ‘Imps.’” - -“What was?” I asked. - -“That little cuss that scared the hosses. There he is, now, holdin’ up -that piece of brushwood. ’Twould be just like his cheek, now, to ask me -to let him ride. Here he comes, runnin’. Wonder where t’other is?—they -most generally travel together. We call ’em the Imps, about these -parts, because they’re so uncommon likely at mischief. Always skeerin’ -hosses, or chasin’ cows, ro frightenin’ chickens. Nice enough father -an’ mother, too—queer, how young ones do turn out!” - -[Illustration: “WE CALL ’EM THE IMPS”] - -As he spoke, the offending youth came panting beside our carriage, and -in a very dirty sailor-suit, and under a broad-brimmed straw hat, with -one stocking about his ankle, and two shoes averaging about two buttons -each, I recognized my nephew, Budge! About the same time there emerged -from the bushes by the roadside a smaller boy, in a green gingham -dress, a ruffle which might once have been white, dirty stockings, -blue slippers worn through at the toes, and an old-fashioned straw -turban. Thrusting into the dust of the road a branch from a bush, and -shouting, “Here’s my grass-cutter!” he ran toward us enveloped in a -“pillar of cloud,” which might have served the purpose of Israel in -Egypt. When we paused, and the dust had somewhat subsided, I beheld the -unmistakable lineaments of the child Toddie! - -“They’re—my nephews,” I gasped. - -“What!” exclaimed the driver. “By gracious! I forgot you were going to -Colonel Lawrence’s! I didn’t tell anything but the truth about ’em, -though; they’re smart enough, an’ good enough, as boys go; but they’d -never die of the complaint that children has in Sunday-school books.” - -“Budge,” said I, with all the sternness I could command, “do you know -me?” - -The searching eyes of the embryo prophet and philanthropist scanned me -for a moment, then their owner replied: - -“Yes, you’re Uncle Harry. Did you bring us anything?” - -“Bring us anything?” echoed Toddie. - -“I wish I could have brought you some big whippings,” said I, with -great severity of manner, “for behaving so badly. Get into this -carriage.” - -“Come on, Tod,” shouted Budge, although Toddie’s farther ear was not a -yard from Budge’s mouth, “Uncle Harry’s going to take us riding!” - -[Illustration: “HERE’S MY GRASS-CUTTER”] - -“Going to take us riding!” echoed Toddie, with the air of one in -a reverie; both the echo and the reverie I soon learned were -characteristics of Toddie. - -As they clambered into the carriage I noticed that each one carried -a very dirty towel, knotted in the center into what is known as a -slip-noose knot, drawn very tight. After some moments of disgusted -contemplation of these rags, without being in the least able to -comprehend their purpose, I asked Budge what those towels were for. - -“They’re not towels—they’re dollies,” promptly answered my nephew. - -“Goodness!” I exclaimed. “I should think your mother could buy you -respectable dolls, and not let you appear in public with those -loathsome rags.” - -“We don’t like buyed dollies,” explained Budge. “These dollies is -lovely; mine’s name is Mary, an’ Toddie’s is Marfa.” - -“Marfa?” I queried. - -“Yes; don’t you know about - - ‘Marfa and Mary’s jus’ gone along - To ring dem charmin’ bells,’ - -that them Jubilees sings about?” - -“Oh, Martha, you mean?” - -“Yes, Marfa—that’s what I say. Toddie’s dolly’s got brown eyes, an’ my -dolly’s got blue eyes.” - -“I want to shee yours watch,” remarked Toddie, snatching at my chain, -and rolling into my lap. - -“Oh—oo—ee, so do I,” shouted Budge, hastening to occupy one knee, and -_in transitu_ wiping his shoes on my trousers and the skirts of my -coat. Each imp put an arm about me to steady himself, as I produced my -three-hundred dollar time-keeper, and showed them the dial. - -“I want to see the wheels go round,” said Budge. - -“Want to shee wheels go wound,” echoed Toddie. - -“No; I can’t open my watch where there’s so much dust,” I said. - -“What for?” inquired Budge. - -“Want to shee the wheels go wound,” repeated Toddie. - -“The dust gets inside the watch and spoils it,” I explained. - -“Want to shee the wheels go wound,” said Toddie, once more. - -“I tell you I can’t, Toddie,” said I, with considerable asperity. “Dust -spoils watches.” - -The innocent gray eyes looked up wonderingly, the dirty but pretty lips -parted slightly, and Toddie murmured:— - -“Want to shee the wheels go wound.” - -I abruptly closed my watch, and put it into my pocket. Instantly -Toddie’s lower lip commenced to turn outward, and continued to do so, -until I seriously feared the bony portion of his chin would be exposed -to view. Then his lower jaw dropped, and he cried:— - -“Ah—h—h—h—h—h—want—to—shee—the wheels—go wou—_ound_.” - -“Charles” (Charles is his baptismal name),—“Charles,” I exclaimed, with -some anger, “stop that noise this instant! Do you hear me?” - -“Yes—oo—oo—oo—ahoo—ahoo.” - -“Then stop it.” - -“Wants to shee——” - -“Toddie, I’ve got some candy in my trunk, but I won’t give you a bit if -you don’t stop that infernal noise.” - -“Well, I wants to shee wheels go wound. Ah—ah—h—h—h—h!” - -“Toddie, dear, don’t cry so. Here’s some ladies coming in a carriage; -you wouldn’t let _them_ see you crying, would you? You shall see the -wheels go round as soon as we get home.” - -[Illustration: “WHEELS GO WOUND”] - -A carriage containing a couple of ladies was rapidly approaching, as -Toddie again raised his voice. - -“Ah—h—h—want’s to shee wheels——” - -Madly I snatched my watch from my pocket, opened the case, and exposed -the works to view. The other carriage was passing ours, and I dropped -my head to avoid meeting the glance of the unknown occupants, for -my few moments of contact with my dreadful nephews had made me feel -inexpressibly unneat. Suddenly the carriage with the ladies stopped. I -heard my own name spoken, and, raising my head quickly (encountering -Budge’s bullet head _en route_, to the serious disarrangement of my -hat), I looked into the other carriage. There, erect, fresh, neat, -composed, bright-eyed, fair-faced, smiling and observant,—she would -have been all this, even if the angel of the resurrection had just -sounded his dreadful trump,—sat Miss Alice Mayton, a lady who, for -about a year, I had been adoring from afar. - -“When did _you_ arrive, Mr. Burton?” she asked, “and how long have you -been officiating as child’s companion? You’re certainly a happy-looking -trio—so unconventional. I hate to see children all dressed up and stiff -as little manikins, when they go out to ride. And you look as if you’d -been having _such_ a good time with them.” - -“I—I assure you, Miss Mayton,” said I, “that my experience has been -the exact reverse of a pleasant one. If King Herod were yet alive I’d -volunteer as an executioner, and engage to deliver two interesting -corpses at a moment’s notice.” - -“You dreadful wretch!” exclaimed the lady. “Mother, let me make you -acquainted with Mr. Burton, Helen Lawrence’s brother. How is your -sister, Mr. Burton?” - -“I don’t know,” I replied; “she has gone with her husband on a -fortnight’s visit to Captain and Mrs. Wayne, and I’ve been silly enough -to promise to have an eye to the place while they’re away.” - -“Why, how delightful!” exclaimed Miss Mayton. “_Such_ horses! _Such_ -flowers! _Such_ a cook!” - -“And such children,” said I, glaring suggestively at the imps, and -rescuing from Toddie a handkerchief which he had extracted from my -pocket, and was waving to the breeze. - -“Why, they’re the best children in the world. Helen told me so the -first time I met her this season. Children will be children, you know. -We had three little cousins with us last summer, and I’m sure they made -me look years older than I really am.” - -“How young you must be, then, Miss Mayton!” said I. I suppose I looked -at her as if I meant what I said, for although she inclined her head -and said, “Oh, thank you,” she didn’t seem to turn my compliment off -in her usual invulnerable style. Nothing happening in the course of -conversation ever discomposed Alice Mayton for more than a hundred -seconds, however, so she soon recovered her usual expression and -self-command, as her next remark fully indicated. - -“I believe you arranged the floral decorations at the St. Zephaniah’s -Fair, last winter, Mr. Burton? ’Twas the most tasteful display of the -season. I don’t wish to give any hints, but at Mrs. Clarkson’s, where -we’re boarding, there’s not a flower in the whole garden. I break -the Tenth Commandment dreadfully every time I pass Colonel Lawrence’s -garden. Good-by, Mr. Burton.” - -[Illustration: “I BELIEVE YOU ARRANGED THE FLORAL DECORATIONS”] - -“Ah, thank you; I shall be delighted. Good-by.” - -“Of course you’ll call,” said Miss Mayton, as her carriage started. -“It’s dreadfully stupid here—no men except on Sundays.” - -I bowed assent. In the contemplation of all the shy possibilities which -my short chat with Miss Mayton had suggested, I had quite forgotten -my dusty clothing and the two living causes thereof. While in Miss -Mayton’s presence the imps had preserved perfect silence, but now their -tongues were loosened. - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, “do you know how to make whistles?” - -“Unken Hawwy,” murmured Toddie, “does you love dat lady?” - -“No, Toddie, of course not.” - -“Then you’s a baddy man, an’ de Lord won’t let you go to heaven if you -don’t love peoples.” - -“Yes, Budge,” I answered hastily, “I _do_ know how to make whistles, -and you shall have one.” - -“Lord don’t like mans what don’t love peoples,” reiterated Toddie. - -“All right, Toddie,” said I. “I’ll see if I can’t please the Lord -some way. Driver, whip up, won’t you? I’m in a hurry to turn these -youngsters over to the girl, and ask her to drop them into the -bath-tub.” - -[Illustration: DROPPING THEM INTO THE BATHTUB] - -I found Helen had made every possible arrangement for my comfort. Her -room commanded exquisite views of mountain slope and valley, and even -the fact that the imps’ bedroom adjoined mine gave me comfort, for I -thought of the pleasure of contemplating them while they were asleep, -and beyond the power of tormenting their deluded uncle. - -At the supper-table Budge and Toddie appeared cleanly clothed and in -their rightful faces. Budge seated himself at the table; Toddie pushed -back his high-chair, climbed into it, and shouted:— - -“Put my legs under ze tabo!” - -Rightfully construing this remark as a request to be moved to the -table, I fulfilled his desire. The girl poured tea for me and milk -for the children, and retired; and then I remembered, to my dismay, -that Helen never had a servant in the dining-room, except upon grand -occasions, her idea being that servants retail to their friends the -cream of the private conversation of the family circle. In principle -I agreed with her, but the penalty of the practical application, with -these two little cormorants on my hands, was greater suffering than any -I had ever been called upon to endure for principle’s sake; but there -was no help for it. I resignedly rapped on the table, bowed my head, -said, “For what we are about to receive, the Lord make us thankful,” -and asked Budge whether he ate bread or biscuit. - -“Why, we ain’t asked no blessin’ yet,” said he. - -“Yes, I did, Budge,” said I. “Didn’t you hear me?” - -“Do you mean what you said just now?” - -“Yes.” - -“Oh, I don’t think that was no blessin’ at all. Papa never says that -kind of a blessin’.” - -“What does papa say, may I ask?” I inquired, with becoming meekness. - -“Why, papa says, ’Our Father, we thank thee for this food; mercifully -remember with us all the hungry and needy to-day, for Christ’s sake, -Amen.’ That’s what he says.” - -“It means the same thing, Budge.” - -“_I_ don’t think it does; and Toddie didn’t have no time to say _his_ -blessin’. I don’t think the Lord’ll like it if you do it that way.” - -“Yes, He will, old boy; He knows what people mean.” - -“Well, how can he tell what Toddie means if Toddie can’t say anything?” - -“Wantsh to shay my blessin’,” whined Toddie. - -It was enough; my single encounter with Toddie had taught me to respect -the young gentleman’s force of character. So again I bowed my head -and repeated what Budge had reported as “papa’s blessin’,” Budge -kindly prompting me where my memory failed. The moment I began, Toddie -commenced to jabber rapidly and aloud, and the instant the “Amen” was -pronounced he raised his head and remarked with evident satisfaction:— - -“I shed my blessin’ _two_ timesh.” - -And Budge said gravely: “_Now_ I guess we’re all right.” - -The supper was an exquisite one, but the appetites of those dreadful -children effectually prevented my enjoying the repast. I hastily -retired, called the girl, and instructed her to see that the children -had enough to eat, and were put to bed immediately after; then I lit a -cigar and strolled into the garden. The roses were just in bloom, the -air was full of the perfume of honeysuckles, the rhododendrons had not -disappeared, while I saw promise of the early unfolding of many other -pet flowers of mine. I confess that I took a careful survey of the -garden to see how fine a bouquet I might make for Miss Mayton, and -was so abundantly satisfied with the material before me that I longed -to begin the work at once, but that it would seem too hasty for true -gentility. So I paced the paths, my hands behind my back, and my face -well hidden by fragrant clouds of smoke, and went into wondering and -reveries. I wondered if there was any sense in the language of flowers, -of which I had occasionally seen mention made by silly writers; I -wished I had learned it if it had any meaning; I wondered if Miss -Mayton understood it. At any rate, I fancied I could arrange flowers to -the taste of any lady whose face I had ever seen; and for Alice Mayton -I would make something so superb that her face could not help lighting -up when she beheld it. I imagined just how her bluish-gray eyes would -brighten, her cheeks would redden,—not with sentiment, not a bit of -it, but with genuine pleasure,—how her strong lips would part slightly -and disclose sweet lines not displayed when she held her features well -in hand. I—I, a clear-headed, driving, successful salesman of white -goods—actually wished I might be divested of all nineteenth-century -abilities and characteristics, and be one of those fairies that only -silly girls and crazy poets think of, and might, unseen, behold the -meeting of my flowers with this highly cultivated specimen of the only -sort of flowers our cities produce. What flower did she most resemble? -A lily?—no; too—not exactly too bold, but too—too, well, I couldn’t -think of the word, but clearly it wasn’t bold. A rose? Certainly, -not like those glorious but blazing remontants, nor yet like the -shy, delicate, ethereal tea roses with their tender suggestions of -color. Like this perfect Gloire de Dijon, perhaps; strong, vigorous, -self-asserting, among its more delicate sisterhood; yet shapely, -perfect in outline and development, exquisite, enchanting in its never -fully analyzed tints, yet compelling the admiration of everyone, and -recalling its admirers again and again by the unspoken appeal of its -own perfection—its unvarying radiance. - -“Ah—h—h—h—ee—ee—ee—ee—ee—oo —oo—oo—oo!” came from the window over my -head. Then came a shout of—“Uncle Harry!” in a voice I recognized as -that of Budge. I made no reply: there are moments when the soul is full -of utterances unfit to be heard by childish ears. “Uncle Har_ray_!” -repeated Budge. Then I heard a window blind open, and Budge exclaiming:— - -“Uncle Harry, we want you to come and tell us stories.” - -I turned my eyes upward quickly, and was about to send a savage -negative in the same direction, when I saw in the window a face unknown -and yet remembered. Could those great, wistful eyes, that angelic -mouth, that spiritual expression, belong to my nephew Budge? Yes, it -must be certainly that super-celestial nose and those enormous ears -never belonged to anyone else. I turned abruptly, and entered the -house, and was received at the head of the stairway by two little -figures in white, the larger of which remarked:— - -“We want you to tell us stories—papa always does nights.” - -“Very well, jump into bed—what kind of stories do you like?” - -“Oh, ’bout Jonah,” said Budge. - -”’Bout Jonah,” echoed Toddie. - -“Well, Jonah was out in the sun one day, and a gourd-vine grew up all -of a sudden, and made it nice and shady for him, and then it all faded -as quick as it came.” - -A dead silence prevailed for a moment, and then Budge indignantly -remarked: - -“That ain’t Jonah a bit—_I_ know ’bout Jonah.” - -“Oh, you do, do you?” said I. “Then maybe you’ll be so good as to -enlighten me?” - -“Huh?” - -“If you know about Jonah, tell me the story; I’d really enjoy listening -to it.” - -“Well,” said Budge, “Once upon a time the Lord told Jonah to go to -Nineveh and tell the people they was all bad. But Jonah didn’t want to -go, so he went on a boat that was going to Joppa. An’ then there was a -big storm, an’ it rained an’ blowed and the big waves went as high as a -house. An’ the sailors thought there must be somebody on the boat that -the Lord didn’t like. An’ Jonah said he guessed _he_ was the man. So -they picked him up and froed him in the ocean, an’ I don’t think it was -well for ’em to do that after Jonah told the troof. An’ a big whale was -comin’ along, an’ he was awful hungry, ’cos the little fishes what he -likes to eat all went down to the bottom of the ocean when it began to -storm, and whales can’t go to the bottom of the ocean, ’cos they have -to come up to breeve, an’ little fishes don’t. An’ Jonah found ’twas -all dark inside the whale, and there wasn’t any fire there, an’ it was -all wet, an’ he couldn’t take off his clothes to dry, ’cos there wasn’t -no place to hang ’em, and there wasn’t no windows to look out of, nor -nothin’ to eat, nor nothin’ nor nothin’ nor nothin’. So he asked the -Lord to let him out, an’ the Lord was sorry for him, an’ He made the -whale go up close to the land, an’ Jonah jumped right out of his mouth, -and _wasn’t_ he glad? An’ then he went to Nineveh, an’ done what the -Lord told him to, an’ he ought to have done it in the first place if he -had known what was good for him.” - -[Illustration: BUDGE’S IDEA OF JONAH AND THE WHALE] - -“Done first payshe, know what’s dood for him,” asserted Toddie, in -support of his brother’s assertion. “Tell us ’nudder story.” - -“Oh, no, sing us a song,” suggested Budge. - -“Shing us shong,” echoed Toddie. - -I searched my mind for a song, but the only one which came promptly was -“M’Appari,” several bars of which I gave my juvenile audience, when -Budge interrupted me, saying:— - -“I don’t think that’s a very good song.” - -“Why not, Budge?” - -”’Cos I don’t. I don’t know a word what you’re talking ’bout.” - -“Shing ’bout ‘Glory, glory, hallelulyah,’” suggested Toddie, and I -meekly obeyed. The old air has a wonderful influence over me. I heard -it in western campmeetings and negro cabins when I was a boy; I saw the -22nd Massachusetts march down Broadway, singing the same air during the -rush to the front in the early days of the war; I have heard it sung -by warrior tongues in nearly every southern state; I heard it roared -by three hundred good old Hunker Democrats as they escorted New York’s -first colored regiment to their place of embarkation; my old brigade -sang it softly, but with a swing that was terrible in its earnestness, -as they lay behind their stacks of arms just before going into action; -I have heard it played over the grave of many a dead comrade; the -semi-mutinous—th cavalry became peaceful and patriotic again, as their -bandmaster played the old air after having asked permission to try -_his_ hand on them; it is the same that burst forth spontaneously in -our barracks, on that glorious morning when we learned that the war was -over, and it was sung, with words adapted to the occasion, by some good -rebel friends of mine, on our first social meeting after the war. All -these recollections came hurrying into my mind as I sang, and probably -excited me beyond my knowledge. For Budge suddenly remarked:— - -“Don’t sing that all day, Uncle Harry; you sing so loud, it hurts my -head.” - -“Beg your pardon, Budge,” said I. “Good night.” - -“Why, Uncle Harry, are you going? You didn’t hear us say our -prayers,—papa always does.” - -“Oh! Well, go ahead.” - -“You must say yours first,” said Budge; “that’s the way papa does.” - -“Very well,” said I, and I repeated St. Chrysostom’s prayer, from the -Episcopal service. I had hardly said “Amen,” when Budge remarked:— - -“My papa don’t say any of them things at all; I don’t think that’s a -very good prayer.” - -“Well, you say a good prayer, Budge.” - -[Illustration: “WE HOPE HE’S GOT LOTS OF CANDY”] - -“All right.” Budge shut his eyes, dropped his voice to the most perfect -tone of supplication, while his face seemed fit for a sleeping angel; -then he said:— - -“Dear Lord, we thank you for lettin’ us have a good time to-day, an’ -we hope all the little boys everywhere have had good times too. We -pray you to take care of us an’ everybody else to-night, an’ don’t let -’em have any trouble. Oh, yes, an’ Uncle Harry’s got some candy in -his trunk, ’cos he said so in the carriage,—we thank you for lettin’ -Uncle Harry come to see us, an’ we hope he’s got _lots_ of candy—lots -an’ piles. An’ we pray you to take care of all the poor little boys -and girls that haven’t got any papas an’ mammas an’ Uncle Harrys an’ -candy an’ beds to sleep in. An’ take us all to Heaven when we die, for -Christ’s sake. Amen. Now give us the candy, Uncle Harry.” - -“Hush, Budge; don’t Toddie say any prayers?” - -“Oh, yes; go on, Tod.” - -Toddie closed his eyes, wriggled, twisted, breathed hard and quick, -acting generally as if prayers were principally a matter of physical -exertion. At last he began:— - -“Dee Lord, not make me sho bad, an’ besh mamma, an’ papa, an’ Budgie, -an’ doppity,[1] an’ both boggies,[2] an’ all good people in dish house, -an’ everybody else, an’ my dolly. A—a—amen!” - - [1] Grandfather. - - [2] Grandmothers. - -“Now give us the candy,” said Budge, with the usual echo from Toddie. - -I hastily extracted the candy from my trunk, gave some to each boy, the -recipients fairly shrieking with delight, and once more said good night. - -“Oh, you didn’t give us any pennies,” said Budge. “Papa gives us some -to put in our banks, every night.” - -“Well, I haven’t got any now—wait until to-morrow.” - -“Then we want drinks.” - -“I’ll let Maggie bring you drink.” - -“Want my dolly,” murmured Toddie. - -I found the knotted towels, took the dirty things up gingerly and threw -them upon the bed. - -“Now want to shee wheels go wound,” said Toddie. - -I hurried out of the room and slammed the door. I looked at my watch—it -was half-past eight; I had spent an hour and a half with those dreadful -children. They _were_ funny, to be sure—I found myself laughing, in -spite of my indignation. Still, if they were to monopolize my time as -they had already done, when was I to do my reading? Taking Fiske’s -“Cosmic Philosophy” from my trunk, I descended to the back parlor, -lit a cigar and a student-lamp, and began to read. I had not fairly -commenced when I heard a patter of small feet, and saw my elder nephew -before me. There was sorrowful protestation in every line of his -countenance, as he exclaimed:— - -“You didn’t say ‘Good-by,’ nor ‘God bless you,’ nor anything.” - -“Oh—good-by.” - -“Good-by.” - -“God bless you.” - -“God bless you.” - -Budge seemed waiting for something else. At last he said:— - -“Papa says, ‘God bless everybody.’” - -“Well, God bless everybody.” - -“God bless everybody,” responded Budge, and turned silently and went -upstairs. - -“Bless your tormenting honest little heart.” I said to myself; “if men -trusted God as you do your papa, how little business there’d be for -preachers to do.” - -The night was a perfect one. The pure, fresh air, the perfume of the -flowers, the music of the insect choir in the trees and shrubbery—the -very season itself seemed to forbid my reading philosophy, so I laid -Fiske aside, delighted myself with a few rare bits from Paul Hayne’s -new volume of poems, read a few chapters of “One Summer,” and finally -sauntered off to bed. My nephews were slumbering sweetly; it seemed -impossible that the pure, exquisite, angelic faces before me belonged -to my tormentors of a few hours before. As I lay on my couch I could -see the dark shadow and rugged crest of the mountain; above it, the -silver stars against the blue, and below it the rival lights of the -fireflies against the dark background formed by the mountain itself. -No rumbling of wheels tormented me, nor any of the thousand noises -that fill city air with the spirit of unrest, and I fell into a wonder -almost indignant that sensible, comfort-loving beings could live in -horrible New York, while such delightful rural homes were so near at -hand. Then Alice Mayton came into my mind, and then a customer; later, -stars and trade-marks, and bouquets, and dirty nephews, and fireflies -and bad accounts, and railway tickets, and candy and Herbert Spencer, -mixed themselves confusingly in my mind. Then a vision of a proud -angel, in the most fashionable attire and a modern carriage, came and -banished them all by its perfect radiance, and I was sinking in the -most blissful unconsciousness— - -“Ah—h—h—h—h—h—oo—oo—oo—oo—ee—ee—e—” - -“Sh—h—h!” I hissed. - -The warning was heeded, and I soon relapsed into oblivion. - -“Ah—h—h—h—oo—oo—ee—_ee_—EE—ee!” - -“Toddie, do you want your uncle to whip you?” - -“No.” - -“Then lie still.” - -“Well, I’ze lost my dolly, an’ I tan’t find her anywhere.” - -“Well, I’ll find her for you in the morning.” - -“Oo—oo—ee—I want my dolly.” - -“Well, I tell you I’ll find her for you in the morning.” - -“I want her _now_—oo—oo—” - -“You can’t have her now, so you can go to sleep.” - -[Illustration: I ENCOUNTERED A DOOR AJAR] - -“Oh—oo—oo—oo—ee—” - -Springing madly to my feet, I started for the offender’s room. I -encountered a door ajar by the way, my forehead being the first to -discover it. I ground my teeth, lit a candle, and said something—no -matter what. - -“Oh, you said a bad swear!” ejaculated Toddie; “you won’t go to heaven -when you die.” - -“Neither will you, if you howl like a little demon all night. Are you -going to be quiet, now?” - -“Yesh, but I wants my dolly.” - -“_I_ don’t know where your dolly is—do you suppose I’m going to search -this entire house for that confounded dolly?” - -“_’Tain’t_ ’founded. I wants my dolly.” - -“I don’t know where it is. You don’t think I stole your dolly, do you?” - -“Well, I wants it, in de bed wif me.” - -“Charles,” said I, “when you arise in the morning, I hope your doll -will be found. At present, however, you must be resigned and go to -sleep. I’ll cover you up nicely”; here I began to rearrange the bed -clothing, when the fateful dolly, source of all my woes, tumbled out of -them. Toddie clutched it, his whole face lighting up with affectionate -delight, and he screamed:— - -“Oh, dare is my dee dolly; turn to your own papa, dolly, an’ I’ll love -you.” - -And that ridiculous child was so completely satisfied by his outlay -of affection, that my own indignation gave place to genuine artistic -pleasure. One _can_ tire of even beautiful pictures, though, when he -is not fully awake, and is holding a candle in a draught of air; so I -covered my nephews and returned to my own room, where I mused upon the -contradictoriness of childhood until I fell asleep. - -[Illustration: THE DOLLY FOUND] - -In the morning I was awakened very early by the light streaming in the -window, the blinds of which I had left open the night before. The air -was alive with bird-song, and the eastern sky was flushed with tints -which no painter’s canvas ever caught. But ante-sunrise skies and songs -are not fit subjects for the continued contemplation of men who read -until midnight; so I hastily closed the blinds, drew the shade, dropped -the curtains and lay down again, dreamily thanking Heaven that I was to -fall asleep to such exquisite music. I am sure that I mentally forgave -all my enemies as I dropped off into a most delicious doze, but the -sudden realization that a light hand was passing over my cheek roused -me to savage anger in an instant. I sprang up, and saw Budge shrink -timidly away from my bedside. - -“I was only lovin’ you, ’cos you was good, and brought us candy. Papa -lets us love him whenever we want to—every morning he does.” - -“As early as this?” demanded I. - -“Yes, just as soon as we can see, if we want to.” - -Poor Tom! I never _could_ comprehend why, with a good wife, a -comfortable income, and a clear conscience, he need always look thin -and worn—worse than he ever did in Virginia woods or Louisiana swamps. -But now I knew all. And yet, what could one do? That child’s eyes -and voice, and his expression, which exceeded in sweetness that of -any of the angels I had ever imagined,—that child could coax a man -to do more self-forgetting deeds than the shortening of his precious -sleeping-hours amounted to. In fact, he was fast divesting me of my -rightful sleepiness, so I kissed him and said:— - -“Run to bed, now, dear old fellow, and let uncle go to sleep again. -After breakfast I’ll make you a whistle.” - -“Oh! will you?” The angel turned into a boy at once. - -“Yes; now run along.” - -“A _loud_ whistle—a real loud one?” - -“Yes, but not if you don’t go right back to bed.” - -The sound of little footsteps receded as I turned over and closed -my eyes. Speedily the bird-song seemed to grow fainter; my thoughts -dropped to pieces; I seemed to be floating on fleecy clouds, in company -with hundreds of cherubs with Budge’s features and night-drawers— - -“Uncle Harry!” - -May the Lord forget the prayer I put up just then! - -“I’ll discipline you, my fine little boy,” thought I. “Perhaps, if -I let you shriek your abominable little throat hoarse, you’ll learn -better than to torment your uncle, that was just getting ready to love -you dearly.” - -“Uncle Har—_ray_!” - -“Howl away, you little imp,” thought I. “You’ve got me wide awake, -and your lungs may suffer for it.” Suddenly I heard, although in -sleepy tones, and with a lazy drawl, some words which appalled me. The -murmurer was Toddie:— - -“Want—shee—wheels—go—wound.” - -“Budge!” I shouted, in the desperation of my dread lest Toddie, too, -might wake up, “what _do_ you want?” - -“Uncle Harry!” - -“WHAT!” - -“Uncle Harry, what kind of wood are you going to make the whistle out -of?” - -“I won’t make any at all—I’ll cut a big stick and give you a sound -whipping with it, for not keeping quiet, as I told you to.” - -“Why, Uncle Harry, papa don’t whip us with sticks—he spanks us.” - -[Illustration: “PAPA DON’T WHIP US WITH STICKS”] - -Heavens! Papa! papa! papa! Was I never to have done with this eternal -quotation of “papa”? I was horrified to find myself gradually -conceiving a dire hatred of my excellent brother-in-law. One thing -was certain, at any rate: sleep was no longer possible; so I hastily -dressed and went into the garden. Among the beauty and the fragrance of -the flowers, and in the delicious morning air, I succeeded in regaining -my temper, and was delighted, on answering the breakfast-bell, two -hours later, to have Budge accost me with:— - -“Why, Uncle Harry, where was you? We looked all over the house for you, -and couldn’t find a speck of you.” - -The breakfast was an excellent one. I afterward learned that Helen, -dear old girl, had herself prepared a bill of fare for every meal I -should take in the house. As the table talk of myself and nephews was -not such as could do harm by being repeated, I requested Maggie, the -servant, to wait upon the children, and I accompanied my request with -a small treasury note. Relieved, thus, of all responsibility for the -dreadful appetites of my nephews, I did full justice to the repast, -and even regarded with some interest and amusement the industry of -Budge and Toddie with their tiny forks and spoons. They ate rapidly -for a while, but soon their appetites weakened and their tongues were -unloosed. - -“Ocken Hawwy,” remarked Toddie, “daysh an awfoo funny chunt up -’tairs—awfoo _big_ chunt. I show it you after brepspup.” - -“Toddie’s a silly little boy,” said Budge, “he always says brepspup for -brekbux.”[3] - - [3] Breakfast. - -“Oh! What does he mean by chunt, Budge?” - -“I _guess_ he means trunk,” replied my oldest nephew. - -Recollections of my childish delight in rummaging an old trunk—it seems -a century ago that I did it—caused me to smile sympathetically at -Toddie, to his apparent great delight. “How delightful it is to strike -a sympathetic chord in child nature,” thought I; “how quickly the -infant eye comprehends the look which precedes the verbal expression -of an idea? Dear Toddie! for years we might sit at one table, careless -of each other’s words, but the casual mention of one of thy delights -has suddenly brought our souls into that sweetest of all human -communions—that one which doubtless bound the Master himself to that -apostle who was otherwise apparently the weakest among the chosen -twelve.” “An awfoo funny chunt” seemed to annihilate suddenly all -differences of age, condition and experience between the wee boy and -myself, and—— - -A direful thought struck me. I dashed up stairs and into my room. Yes, -he _did_ mean my trunk. _I_ could see nothing funny about it—quite -the contrary. The bond of sympathy between my nephew and myself was -suddenly broken. Looking at the matter from the comparative distance -which a few weeks have placed between that day and this, I can see -that I was unable to consider the scene before me with a calm and -unprejudiced mind. I am now satisfied that the sudden birth and hasty -decease of my sympathy with Toddie were striking instances of human -inconsistency. My soul had gone out to his because he loved to rummage -in trunks, and because I imagined he loved to see the monument of -incongruous material which resulted from such an operation; the scene -before me showed clearly that I had rightly divined my nephew’s nature. -And yet my selfish instincts hastened to obscure my soul’s vision, and -to prevent that joy which should ensue when “faith is lost in full -fruition.” - -[Illustration: AN AMATEUR IN PACKING] - -My trunk had contained nearly everything, for while a campaigner I had -learned to reduce packing to an exact science. Now, had there been an -atom of pride in my composition I might have glorified myself, for -it certainly seemed as if the heap upon the floor could never have -come out of a single trunk. Clearly, Toddie was more of a general -connoisseur than an amateur in packing. The method of his work I -quickly discerned, and the discovery threw some light upon the size of -the heap in front of my trunk. A dress hat and its case, when their -natural relationship is dissolved, occupy nearly twice as much space -as before, even if the former contains a blacking-box not usually kept -in it, and the latter a few cigars soaking in bay rum. The same might -be said of a portable dressing-case and its contents, bought for me -in Vienna by a brother ex-soldier, and designed by an old Continental -campaigner to be perfection itself. The straps which prevented the -cover from falling entirely back had been cut, broken or parted in some -way, and in its hollow lay my dress-coat, tightly rolled up. Snatching -it up with a violent exclamation, and unrolling it, there dropped from -it—one of those infernal dolls. At the same time a howl was sounded -from the doorway. - -“You tookted my dolly out of her cradle—I want to wock[4] my -dolly—oo—oo—oo—ee—ee—ee—!” - - [4] Rock. - -“You young scoundrel!” I screamed—yes, howled, I was so enraged—“I’ve a -great mind to cut your throat this minute. What do you mean by meddling -with my trunk?” - -“I—doe—know.” Outward turned Toddie’s lower lip; I believe the sight of -it would move a Bengal tiger to pity, but no such thought occurred to -me just then. - -“What made you do it?” - -“_Be_—cause.” - -“Because what?” - -“I—doe—know.” - -Just then a terrific roar arose from the garden. Looking out, I saw -Budge with a bleeding finger upon one hand, and my razor in the other; -he afterward explained he had been making a boat, and that the knife -was bad to him. To apply adhesive plaster to the cut was the work -of but a minute, and I had barely completed this surgical operation -when Tom’s gardener-coachman appeared, and handed me a letter. It was -addressed in Helen’s well-known hand, and read as follows (the passages -in brackets were my own comments):— - - “BLOOMDALE, JUNE 21, 1875. - - “DEAR HARRY:—I’m very happy in the thought that you are with my - darling children, and, although I’m having a lovely time here, I often - wish I was with you. [Ump—so do I.] I want you to know the little - treasures real well. [Thank you, but I don’t think I care to extend - the acquaintanceship farther than is absolutely necessary.] It seems - to me so unnatural that relatives know so little of those of their own - blood, and especially of the innocent little spirits whose existence - is almost unheeded. [Not when there’s unlocked trunks standing about, - sis.] - - “Now I want to ask a favor of you. When we were boys and girls - at home, you used to talk perfect oceans about physiognomy, and - phrenology, and unerring signs of character. I thought it was all - nonsense then, but if you believe it now, I wish you’d study the - children, and give me your well-considered opinion of them. [Perfect - demons, ma’am; imps, rascals, born to be hung—both of them.] - - “I can’t get over the feeling that dear Budge is born for something - grand. [Grand nuisance.] He is sometimes so thoughtful and so - absorbed, that I almost fear the result of disturbing him; then, he - has that faculty of perseverance which seems to be the only thing - some men have lacked to make them great. [He certainly has it; he - exemplified it while I was trying to get to sleep this morning.] - - “Toddie is going to make a poet or a musician or an artist. [That’s - so; all abominable scamps take to some artistic pursuit as an excuse - for loafing.] His fancies take hold of him very strongly. [They - do—they do; “shee wheels go wound,” for instance.] He has not Budgie’s - sublime earnestness, but he doesn’t need it; the irresistible force - with which he is drawn toward whatever is beautiful compensates for - the lack. [Ah—perhaps that explains his operation with my trunk.] - But I want your _own_ opinion, for I know you make more careful - distinction in character than I do. - - “Delighting myself with the idea that I deserve most of the credit - for the lots of reading you will have done by this time, and hoping I - shall soon have a line telling me how my darlings are, I am, as ever, - - “Your loving sister, - “HELEN.” - -Seldom have I been so roused by a letter as I was by this one, and -never did I promise myself more genuine pleasure in writing a reply. I -determined that it should be a masterpiece of analysis and of calm yet -forcible expression of opinion. - -Upon one step, at any rate, I was positively determined. Calling the -girl, I asked her where the key was that locked the door between my -room and the children. - -“Please, sir, Toddie threw it down the well.” - -“Is there a locksmith in the village?” - -“No, sir; the nearest one is at Paterson.” - -“Is there a screw-driver in the house?” - -“Yes, sir.” - -“Bring it to me, and tell the coachman to get ready at once to drive me -to Paterson.” - -The screw-driver was brought, and with it I removed the lock, got into -the carriage, and told the driver to take me to Paterson by the hill -road—one of the most beautiful roads in America. - -“Paterson!” exclaimed Budge. “Oh, there’s a candy store in that town; -come on, Toddie.” - -“Will you?” thought I, snatching the whip and giving the horses a cut. -“Not if _I_ can help it. The idea of having such a drive spoiled by -the clatter of _such_ a couple!” - -Away went the horses, and up went a piercing shriek and a terrible -roar. It seemed that both children must have been mortally hurt, and -I looked out hastily, only to see Budge and Toddie running after the -carriage, and crying pitifully. It was too pitiful,—I could not have -proceeded without them, even if they had been inflicted with smallpox. -The driver stopped of his own accord,—he seemed to know the children’s -ways and their results,—and I helped Budge and Toddie in, meekly hoping -that the eye of Providence was upon me, and that so self-sacrificing -an act would be duly passed to my credit. As we reached the hill road, -my kindness to my nephews seemed to assume greater proportions, for -the view before me was inexpressibly beautiful. The air was perfectly -clear, and across two score towns I saw the great metropolis itself, -the silent city of Greenwood beyond it, the bay, the Narrows, the -Sound, the two silvery rivers lying between me and the Palisades, and -even, across and to the south of Brooklyn, the ocean itself. Wonderful -effects of light and shadow, picturesque masses, composed of detached -buildings, so far distant that they seemed huddled together; grim -factories turned to beautiful palaces by the dazzling reflection of -sunlight from their window-panes; great ships seeming in the distance -to be toy boats floating idly;—with no signs of life perceptible, the -whole scene recalled the fairy stories read in my youthful days, of -enchanted cities, and the illusion was greatly strengthened by the -dragon-like shape of the roof of New York’s new post-office, lying in -the center of everything, and seeming to brood over all. - -“Uncle Harry!” - -Ah, that was what I expected! - -“Uncle Harry!” - -“Well, Budge?” - -“I always think that looks like heaven.” - -“What does?” - -“Why, all that,—from here over to that other sky ’way back there behind -everything I mean. And I think _that_ (here he pointed toward what -probably was a photographer’s roof-light)—that place where it’s so -shiny, is where God stays.” - -Bless the child! The scene had suggested only elfindom to _me_, and yet -I prided myself on my quick sense of artistic effects. - -“An’ over there where that awful bright _little_ speck is,” continued -Budge, “that’s where dear little brother Phillie is; whenever I look -over there, I see him putting his hand out.” - -“Dee ’ittle Phillie went to s’eep in a box, and ze Lord took him to -heaven,” murmured Toddie, putting together all he had seen and heard of -death. Then he raised his voice and exclaimed:— - -“Ocken Hawwy, you know what Iz’he goin’ do when I be’s big man? Iz’he -goin’ to have hosses an’ tarridge, an’ Iz’he goin’ to wide over all -ze chees an’ all ze houses an’ all ze world an’ ewyfing. An’ whole -lots of little birdies is comin’ in my tarridge an’ sing songs to me, -an’ you can come too if you want to, an’ we’ll have _ice_-cream an’ -trawberries an’ see ’ittle fishes swimmin’ down in ze water, an’ we’ll -get a g’eat big house that’s all p’itty on the outshide an’ all p’itty -on the inshide, an’ it’ll all be ours an’ we’ll do just ewyfing we want -to.” - -“Toddie, you’re an idealist.” - -“_Ain’t_ a ’dealisht.” - -“Toddie’s a goosey-gander,” remarked Budge, with great gravity. “Uncle -Harry, do you think heaven’s as nice as that place over there?” - -“Yes, Budge, a great deal nicer.” - -“Then why don’t we die an’ go there? I don’t want to go on livin’ -forever an’ ever. I don’t see why we don’t die right away; I think -we’ve lived enough of days.” - -“The Lord wants us to live until we get good and strong and smart, and -do a great deal of good before we die, old fellow—that’s why we don’t -die right away.” - -“Well, I want to see dear little Phillie, an’ if the Lord won’t let him -come down here, I think he might let me die an’ go to heaven. Little -Phillie always laughed when I jumped for him. Uncle Harry, angels has -wings, don’t they?” - -“Some people think they have, old boy.” - -“Well, I know they _don’t_, ’cos if Phillie had wings, I know he’d fly -right down an’ see me. So they don’t.” - -“But maybe he has to go somewhere else, Budge, or maybe he comes and -you can’t see him. We can’t see angels with _our_ eyes, you know.” - -“Then what made the Hebrew children in the fiery furnace see one? Their -eyes was just like ours, wasn’t they? I don’t care; I want to see dear -little Phillie _awful_ much. Uncle Harry, if I went to heaven, do you -know what I’d do?” - -“What _would_ you do, Budge?” - -“Why, after I saw little Phillie, I’d go right up to the Lord an’ give -him a great big hug.” - -“What for, Budge?” - -“Oh, ’cos he lets us have nice times, an’ gave me my mamma an’ papa, -an’ Phillie— but he took him away again—an’ Toddie, but Toddie’s a -dreadful bad boy sometimes, though.” - -“Very true, Budge,” said I, remembering my trunk and the object of my -ride. - -“Uncle Harry, did you ever see the Lord?” - -“No, Budge; he has been very close to me a good many times, but I never -saw him.” - -“Well, _I_ have; I see him every time I look up in the sky, and there -ain’t nobody with me.” - -The driver crossed himself and whispered, “He’s foriver a-sayin’ that, -an’ be the powers, I belave him. Sometimes ye’d think that the howly -saints themselves was a-spakin’ whin that bye gits to goin’ on that -way.” - -It _was_ wonderful. Budge’s countenance seemed too pure to be of the -earth as he continued to express his ideas of the better land and its -denizens. As for Toddie, his tongue was going incessantly, although in -a tone scarcely audible; but when I chanced to catch his expressions, -they were so droll and fanciful, that I took him upon my lap that I -might hear him more distinctly. I even detected myself in the act of -examining the mental draft of my proposed letter to Helen, and of being -ashamed of it. But neither Toddie’s fancy nor Budge’s spirituality -caused me to forget the principal object of my ride. I found a -locksmith and left the lock to be fitted with a key; then we drove to -the Falls. Both boys discharged volleys of questions as we stood by -the gorge, and the fact that the roar of the falling water prevented -me from hearing them did not cause them to relax their efforts in the -least. I walked to the hotel for a cigar, taking the children with me. -I certainly spent no more than three minutes in selecting and lighting -a cigar, and asking the barkeeper a few questions about the Falls; but -when I turned, the children were missing, nor could I see them in any -direction. Suddenly, before my eyes, arose from the nearer brink of -the gorge two yellowish disks, which I recognized as the hats of my -nephews; then I saw between the disks and me two small figures lying -upon the ground. I was afraid to shout, for fear of scaring them if -they happened to hear me. I bounded across the grass, industriously -raving and praying by turns. They were lying on their stomachs and -looking over the edge of the cliff. I approached them on tiptoe, threw -myself upon the ground, and grasped a foot of each child. - -“Oh, Uncle Harry!” screamed Budge in my ear, as I dragged him close -to me, kissing and shaking him alternately; “I hunged over more than -Toddie did.” - -[Illustration: “I HUNGED OVER MORE THAN TODDIE DID”] - -“Well, I—I—I—I—I—I—I—hunged over a good deal, _any_how,” said Toddie, -in self-defense. - -That afternoon I devoted to making a bouquet for Miss Mayton, and a -most delightful occupation I found it. It was no florist’s bouquet, -composed of only a few kinds of flowers, wired upon sticks, and -arranged according to geometric pattern. I used many a rare flower, -too shy of bloom to recommend itself to florists; I combined tints -almost as numerous as the flowers were, and perfumes to which city -bouquets are utter strangers. Arranging flowers is a favorite pastime -of mine, but upon this particular occasion I enjoyed my work more than -I had ever done before. Not that I was in love with Miss Mayton; a man -may honestly and strongly admire a handsome, brilliant woman without -being in love with her; he can delight himself in trying to give her -pleasure, without feeling it necessary that she shall give him herself -in return. Since I arrived at years of discretion I have always smiled -sarcastically at the mention of the generosity of men who were in -love; they have seemed to me rather to be asking an immense price for -what they offered. I had no such feeling toward Miss Mayton. There have -been heathens who have offered gifts to goddesses out of pure adoration -and without any idea of ever having the exclusive companionship of -their favorite divinities. I never offered Miss Mayton any attention -which did not put me into closer sympathy with these same great-souled -old Pagans; and with such Christians as follow their good example. -With each new grace my bouquet took on, my pleasure and satisfaction -increased at the thought of how _she_ would enjoy the completed -evidence of my taste. - -At length it was finished, but my delight suddenly became clouded -by the dreadful thought, “What will folks say?” Had we been in New -York instead of Hillcrest, no one but the florist, his messenger, the -lady and myself would know if I sent a bouquet to Miss Mayton; but -in Hillcrest, with its several hundred native-born gossips, and its -acquaintance of everybody with everybody else and their affairs—I -feared talk. Upon the discretion of Mike, the coachman, I could safely -rely; I had already confidentially conveyed sundry bits of fractional -currency to him, and informed him of one of the parties at our store -whose family Mike had known in Old Erin; but every one knew where Mike -was employed; every one knew—mysterious, unseen and swift are the -ways of communication in the country!—that I was the only gentleman -at present residing at Colonel Lawrence’s. Ah!—I had it. I had seen -in one of the library drawers a small pasteboard box, shaped like a -bandbox—doubtless _that_ would hold it. I found the box—it was of just -the size I needed. I dropped my card into the bottom—no danger of a -lady not finding the card accompanying a gift of flowers—neatly fitted -the bouquet in the center of the box, and went in search of Mike. He -winked cheeringly as I explained the nature of his errand, and he -whispered:— - -“I’ll do it as clane as a whistle, yer honor. Mistress Clarkson’s cook -an’ mesilf understhand each other, an’ I’m used to goin’ up the back -way. Dhivil a man can see but the angels, an’ they won’t tell.” - -“Very well, Mike; here’s a dollar for you; you’ll find the box on the -hat-rack, in the hall.” - -Half an hour later, while I sat in my chamber window, reading, I beheld -Mike, cleanly shaved, dressed and brushed, swinging up the road, with -my box balanced on one of his enormous hands. With a head full of -pleasing fancies, I went down to supper. My new friends were unusually -good. Their ride seemed to have toned down their boisterousness and -elevated their little souls; their appetites exhibited no diminution -of force, but they talked but little, and all that they said was -smart, funny, or startling—so much so that when, after supper, they -invited me to put them to bed, I gladly accepted the invitation. Toddie -disappeared somewhere, and came back very disconsolate. - -“I can’t find my dolly’s k’adle,” he whined. - -“Never mind, old pet,” said I, soothingly. “Uncle will ride you on his -foot.” - -“But I _want_ my dolly’s k’adle,” said he, piteously rolling out his -lower lip. - -I remembered my experience when Toddie wanted to “shee wheels go -wound,” and I trembled. - -“Toddie,” said I, in a tone so persuasive that it would be worth -thousands a year to me, as a salesman, if I could only command it at -will; “Toddie, don’t you want to ride on uncle’s back?” - -“No; want my dolly’s k’adle.” - -“Don’t you want me to tell you a story?” - -For a moment Toddie’s face indicated a terrible internal conflict -between old Adam and mother Eve, but curiosity finally overpowered -natural depravity, and Toddie murmured:—Yesh.” - -“What shall I tell you about?” - -”’Bout Nawndeark.” - -“About _what_?” - -“He means Noah an’ the ark,” exclaimed Budge. - -“Datsh what _I_ shay—Nawndeark,” declared Toddie. - -“Well,” said I, hastily refreshing my memory by picking up the -Bible,—for Helen, like most people, is pretty sure to forget to pack -her Bible when she runs away from home for a few days,—“well, once it -rained forty days and nights, and everybody was drowned from the face -of the earth excepting Noah, a righteous man, who was saved with all -his family, in an ark which the Lord commanded him to build.” - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, after contemplating me with open eyes and -mouth for at least two minutes after I had finished, “do you think -that’s Noah?” - -“Certainly, Budge; here’s the whole story in the Bible.” - -“Well, _I_ don’t think it’s Noah one single bit,” said he, with -increasing emphasis. - -“I’m beginning to think we read different Bibles, Budge; but let’s hear -_your_ version.” - -“Huh?” - -“Tell _me_ about Noah, if you know so much about him.” - -“I will, if you want me to. Once the Lord felt so uncomfortable ’cos -folks was bad that he was sorry he ever made anybody, or any world -or anything. But Noah wasn’t bad—the Lord liked him first-rate, so -he told Noah to build a big ark, and then the Lord would make it -rain so everybody should be drownded but Noah an’ his little boys -an’ girls, an’ doggies, an’ pussies, an’ mamma cows, an’ little-boy -cows, an’ little-girl cows, an’ hosses, an’ everything—they’d go in -the ark an’ wouldn’t get wetted a bit, when it rained. An’ Noah took -lots of things to eat in the ark—cookies an’ milk, an’ oatmeal an’ -strawberries, an’ porgies an’—oh, yes; an’ plum puddin’s an’ pumpkin -pies. But Noah didn’t want everybody to get drownded, so he talked to -folks an’ said, ‘It’s goin’ to rain _awful_ pretty soon; you’d better -be good, an’ then the Lord’ll let you come into my ark.” An’ they jus’ -said ‘Oh, if it rains we’ll go in the house till it stops’; an’ other -folks said, ‘_We_ ain’t afraid of rain—we’ve got an umbrella.’ An’ -some more said, they wasn’t goin’ to be afraid of just a rain. But it -_did_ rain, though, an’ folks went in their houses an’ the water came -in, an’ they got on the tops of the houses, an’ up in big trees, an’ -up in mountains, an’ the water went after ’em everywhere an’ drownded -everybody, only just except Noah and the people in the ark. An’ it -rained forty days an’ nights, an’ then it stopped, an’ Noah got out of -the ark, an’ he an’ his little boys an’ girls went wherever they wanted -to, an’ everything in the world was all theirs; there wasn’t anybody to -tell ’em to go home, nor no Kindergarten schools to go to, nor no bad -boys to fight ’em, nor nothin’. Now tell us ’nother story.” - -I determined that I would not again attempt to repeat portions of -the Scripture narrative—my experience in that direction had not been -encouraging. I ventured upon a war story. - -“Do you know what the war was?” I asked, by way of reconnoissance. - -“Oh, yes,” said Budge, “papa was there an’ he’s got a sword; don’t you -see it, hangin’ up there?” - -Yes, I saw it, and the difference between the terrible field where last -I saw Tom’s sword in action, and this quiet room where it now hung, -forced me into a reverie from which I was aroused by Budge remarking:— - -[Illustration: “WE’VE GOT AN UMBRELLA”] - -“Ain’t you goin’ to tell us one?” - -“Oh, yes, Budge. One day while the war was going on, there was a whole -lot of soldiers going along a road, and they were hungry as they could -be; they hadn’t had anything to eat that day.” - -“Why didn’t they go into the houses, and tell the people they was -hungry? That’s what _I_ do when I goes along roads.” - -“Because the people in that country didn’t like them; the brothers and -papas and husbands of those people were soldiers, too; but they didn’t -like the soldiers I told you about first, and they wanted to kill them.” - -“I don’t think they were a bit nice,” said Budge, with considerable -decision. - -“Well, the first soldiers wanted to kill _them_, Budge.” - -“Then they was _all_ bad, to want to kill each other.” - -“Oh no, they weren’t; there were a great many real good men on both -sides.” - -Poor Budge looked sadly puzzled, as he had an excellent right to do, -since the wisest and best men are sorely perplexed by the nature of -warlike feeling. - -“Both parties of soldiers were on horseback,” I continued, “and they -were near each other, and when they saw each other they made their -horses run fast, and the bugles blew, and the soldiers all took their -swords out to kill each other with. Just then a little boy, who had -been out in the woods to pick berries for his mamma, tried to run -across the road, and caught his toe some way, and fell down and cried. -Then somebody hallooed ‘Halt!’ very loud, and all the horses on one -side stopped, and then somebody else hallooed ‘Halt!’ and a lot of -bugles blew, and every horse on the other side stopped, and one soldier -jumped off his horse, and picked up the little boy—he was only about -as big as you, Budge—and tried to comfort him, and then a soldier from -the other side came up to look at him; and then more soldiers came from -both sides to look at him; and when he got better and walked home, the -soldiers all rode away, because they didn’t feel like fighting just -then.” - -“O Uncle Harry! I think it was an _awful_ good soldier that got off his -horse to take care of that poor little boy.” - -“Do you, Budge? who do you think it was?” - -“I dunno.” - -“It was your papa.” - -“Oh—h—h—h—h!” If Tom could have but seen the expression upon his boy’s -face as he prolonged this exclamation, his loss of one of the grandest -chances a cavalry officer ever had would not have seemed so great to -him as it had done for years. He seemed to take in the story in all its -bearings, and his great eyes grew in depth as they took on the far-away -look which seemed too earnest for the strength of an earthly being to -support. - -But Toddie—he who a fond mamma thought endowed with art sense—Toddie -had throughout my recital the air of a man who was musing on some -affair of his own, and Budge’s exclamation had hardly died away, when -Toddie commenced to weave aloud an extravaganza wholly his own. - -“When _I_ was a soldier,” he remarked, very gravely, “I had a coat -an’ a hat on, an’ a muff, an’ a little knake[5] wound my neck to keep -me warm, an’ it wained, an’ hailed, an’ ’tormed, an’ I felt bad, so I -whallowed a sword an’ burned me all down dead.” - - [5] Snake: tippet. - -“And how did you get here?” I asked, with interest proportioned to the -importance of Toddie’s last clause. - -“Oh, I got up from the burn-down dead, an’ _comed_ right here. I want -my dolly’s k’adle.” - -O persistent little dragon! If you were of age, what a fortune you -might make in business! - -“Uncle Harry, I wish my papa would come home right away,” said Budge. - -“Why, Budge?” - -“I want to love him for bein’ so good to that poor little boy in the -war.” - -[Illustration: “WHEN I WAS A SOLDIER,” REMARKED TODDIE] - -“Ocken Hawwy, I wants my dolly’s k’adle, ’tause my dolly’s in it, an’ I -want to shee her”; thus spake Toddie. - -“Don’t you think the Lord loved my papa awful much for doin’ that sweet -thing, Uncle Harry?” asked Budge. - -“Yes, old fellow, I feel sure that he did.” - -“Lord lovesh my papa vewy much, so I love ze Lord vewy much,” remarked -Toddie. “An’ I wants my dolly’s k’adle an’ my dolly.” - -“Toddie, I don’t know where either of them are—I can’t find them -now—_do_ wait until morning, when Uncle Harry will look for them.” - -“I don’t see how the Lord can get along in heaven without my papa, -Uncle Harry,” said Budge. - -“Lord takesh papa to heaven, an’ Budge an’ me, and we’ll go walkin’ -an’ see ze Lord, an play wif ze angels’ wings, an hazh good timsh, an’ -never have to go to bed at all, at all.” - -Pure-hearted little innocents! compared with older people whom we -endure, how great thy faith and how few thy faults! How superior thy -love—— - -A knock at the door interrupted me. “Come in!” I shouted. - -In stepped Mike, with an air of the greatest secrecy, handed me a -letter and the identical box in which I had sent the flowers to Miss -Mayton. What _could_ it mean? I hastily opened the envelope, and at the -same time Toddie shrieked:— - -“Oh, darsh my dolly’s k’adle—dare tizh!” snatched and opened the box, -and displayed—his doll! My heart sickened, and did _not_ regain its -strength during the perusal of the following note:— - - “Miss Mayton herewith returns to Mr. Burton the package which just - arrived, with his card. She recognizes the contents as a portion of - the apparent property of one of Mr. Burton’s nephews, but is unable to - understand why it should have been sent to her. - - “JUNE 20, 1875.” - -“Toddie,” I roared, as my younger nephew caressed his loathsome doll, -and murmured endearing words to it, “where did you get that box?” - -“On the hat-wack,” replied the youth, with perfect fearlessness. “I -keeps it in ze book-case djawer, and somebody took it ’way, and put -nasty ole flowers in it.” - -“Where are those flowers?” I demanded. - -Toddie looked up with considerable surprise, but promptly replied:— - -“I froed ’em away—don’t want no ole flowers in my dolly’s k’adle. -That’s ze way she wocks—see!” And the horrible little destroyer -of human hopes rolled that box back and forth with the most utter -unconcern, as he spoke endearing words to the substitute for my -beautiful bouquet! - -To say that I looked at Toddie reprovingly is to express my feelings in -the most inadequate language, but of language in which to express my -feelings to Toddie, I could find absolutely none. Within two or three -short moments I had discovered how very anxious I really was to merit -Miss Mayton’s regard, and how very different was the regard I wanted -from that which I had previously hoped might be accorded me. It seemed -too ridiculous to be true that I, who had for years had dozens of -charming lady acquaintances, and yet had always maintained my common -sense and self-control; I, who had always considered it unmanly for a -man to specially interest himself in _any_ lady until he had an income -of five thousand a year; I, who had skilfully, and many times, argued -that life attachments, or attempts thereat, which were made without a -careful preliminary study of the mental characteristics of the partner -desired, were the most unpardonable folly,—_I_ had transgressed every -one of my own rules, and, as if to mock me for any pretended wisdom and -care, my weakness was made known to me by a three-year-old marplot and -a hideous rag doll! - -That merciful and ennobling dispensation by which Providence enables us -to temper the severity of our own sufferings by alleviating those of -others, came soon to my rescue. Under my stern glance, Toddie gradually -lost interest in his doll and its cradle, and began to thrust forth and -outward his piteous lower lip, and to weep copiously. - -“Dee Lord not make me sho bad,” he cried through his tears. I doubt -his having had any very clear idea of what he was saying, or whom he -was addressing; but had the publican of whose prayer Toddie made so -fair a paraphrase worn such a face when he offered his famous petition, -it could not have been denied for a moment. Toddie even retired to a -corner, and hid his face in self-imposed penance. - -“Never mind, Toddie,” said I sadly; “you didn’t mean to do it, I know.” - -“I wantsh to love you,” sobbed Toddie. - -“Well, come here, you poor little fellow,” said I, opening my arms, and -wondering whether ’twas not after contemplation of some such sinner -that good Bishop Tegner wrote:— - - “Depths of love are atonement’s depths, for love is atonement.” - -Toddie came to my arms, shed tears freely upon my shirt-front, and -finally, after heaving a very long sigh, remarked:— - -“Wantsh _you_ to love _me_.” - -I complied with his request. Theoretically I had long believed -that the higher wisdom of the Creator was most frequently expressed -through the medium of his most innocent creations. Surely here was a -confirmation of my theory, for who else had ever practically taught -me the duty of the injured one toward his offender? I kissed Toddie -and petted him, and at length succeeded in quieting him; his little -face, in spite of much dirt and many tear-stains, was upturned with -more of beauty in it than it ever held when its owner was full of joy; -he looked earnestly, confidingly, into my eyes, and I congratulated -myself upon the perfection of my forgiving spirit, when Toddie suddenly -re-exhibited to me my old unregenerate nature, and the incompleteness -of my forgiveness, by saying:— - -“Kish my dolly, too.” - -[Illustration: “KISH MY DOLLY, TOO”] - -I obeyed. My forgiveness was made complete, but so was my humiliation. -I abruptly closed our interview. We exchanged “God bless you’s,” -according to Budge’s instructions of the previous night, and at -least one of the participants in this devotional exercise hoped the -petitions made by the other were distinctly heard. Then I dropped into -an easy-chair in the library, and fell to thinking. I found myself -really and seriously troubled by the results of Toddie’s operation with -my bouquet. I might explain the matter to Miss Mayton—I undoubtedly -could, for she was too sensible a woman to be easily offended merely -by a ridiculous mistake, caused by a child. But she would laugh at -_me_—how could she help it?—and to be laughed at by Miss Mayton was -a something, the mere thought of which tormented me in a manner that -made me fairly ashamed of myself. Like every other young man among -young men, I had been the butt of many a rough joke, and had borne them -without wincing; it seemed cowardly and contemptible that I should be -so sensitive under the mere thought of laughter which would probably -be heard by no one but Miss Mayton herself. But the laughter of a -mere acquaintance is likely to lessen respect for the person laughed -at. Heavens! the thought was unendurable! At any rate, I must write -an early apology. When I was correspondent for the house with which -I am now salesman, I reclaimed many an old customer who had wandered -off—certainly I might hope, by a well-written letter, to regain in Miss -Mayton’s respect whatever position I had lost. I hastily drafted a -letter, corrected it carefully, copied it in due form, and forwarded -it by the faithful Michael. Then I tried to read, but without the least -success. For hours I paced the piazza and consumed cigars; when at last -I retired it was with many ideas, hopes, fears, and fancies which had -never before been mine. True to my trust, I looked into my nephews’ -room; there lay the boys, in postures more graceful than any which -brush or chisel have ever reproduced. Toddie, in particular, wore so -lovely an expression that I could not refrain from kissing him. But I -was none the less careful to make use of my new key, and to lock my -other door also. - -The next day was the Sabbath. Believing fully in the binding force -and worldly wisdom of the Fourth Commandment, so far as it refers to -rest, I have conscientiously trained myself to sleep two hours later -on the morning of the holy day than I ever allowed myself to do on -business days. But having inherited, besides a New England conscience, -a New England abhorrence of waste, I regularly sit up two hours later -on Saturday nights than on any others; and the night preceding this -particular Sabbath was no exception to the rule, as the reader may -imagine from the foregoing recital. At about 5.30 A.M., however, I -became conscious that my nephews were not in accord with me on the -Sinaitic law. They were not only awake, but were disputing vigorously, -and, seemingly very loudly, for I heard their words quite distinctly. -With sleepy condescension I endeavored to ignore these noisy -irreverents, but I was suddenly moved to a belief in the doctrine of -vicarious atonement, for a flying body, with more momentum than weight, -struck me upon the not prominent bridge of my nose, and speedily and -with unnecessary force accommodated itself to the outline of my eyes. -After a moment spent in anguish, and in wondering how the missive came -through closed doors and windows, I discovered that my pain had been -caused by one of the dolls, which from its extreme uncleanness, I -suspected belonged to Toddie; I also discovered that the door between -the rooms was open. - -“Who threw that doll?” I shouted, sternly. - -There came no response. - -“Do you hear?” I roared. - -“What is it, Uncle Harry?” asked Budge, with most exquisitely polite -inflection. - -“Who threw that doll?” - -“Huh?” - -“I say, who threw that doll?” - -“Why, nobody did it.” - -“Toddie, who threw that doll?” - -“Budge did,” replied Toddie, in muffled tones, suggestive of a -brotherly hand laid forcibly over a pair of small lips. - -“Budge, what did you do it for?” - -“Why—why—I—because—why, you see—because, why, Toddie froo his dolly in -my mouth; some of her hair went in, anyhow, an’ I didn’t want his dolly -in my mouth, so I sent it back to him, an’ the foot of the bed didn’t -stick up enough, so it went froo the door to your bed—that’s what for.” - -The explanation seemed to bear marks of genuineness, albeit the pain -in my eye was not alleviated thereby, while the exertion expended in -eliciting the information had so thoroughly awakened me that further -sleep was out of the question. Besides, the open door—had a burglar -been in the room? No, my watch and pocket-book were undisturbed. - -“Budge, who opened that door?” - -After some hesitation, as if wondering who really did it, Budge -replied:— - -“Me.” - -“How did you do it?” - -“Why, you see we wanted a drink, an’ the door was fast, so we got out -the window on the parazzo roof, an’ comed in your window.” (Here a -slight pause.) “An’ ’twas fun. An’ then we unlocked the door, an’ comed -back.” - -Then I should be compelled to lock my window blinds—or theirs, and -this in the summer season, too! Oh, if Helen could have but passed the -house as that white-robed procession had filed along the piazza roof! I -lay pondering over the vast amount of unused ingenuity that was locked -up in millions of children, or employed only to work misery among -unsuspecting adults, when I heard light footfalls at my bedside, and -saw a small shape with a grave face approach and remark: - -“I wants to come in your bed.” - -“What for, Toddie?” - -“To fwolic; papa always fwolics us Sunday mornin’s. Tum, Budgie, Ocken -Hawwy’s doin’ to fwolic us.” - -[Illustration: TWO LITTLE SAVAGES] - -Budge replied by shrieking with delight, tumbling out of bed, and -hurrying to that side of my bed not already occupied by Toddie. -Then those two little savages sounded the onslaught and advanced -precipitately upon me. Sometimes, during the course of my life, I -have had day-dreams which I have told to no one. Among these has -been one—not now so distinct as it was before my four years of -campaigning—of one day meeting in deadly combat the painted Indian -of the plains; of listening undismayed to his frightful war-whoop, -and of exemplifying in my own person the inevitable result of the -paleface’s superior intelligence. But upon this particular Sunday -morning I relinquished this idea informally but forever. Before the -advance of these diminutive warriors I quailed contemptibly, and -their battle-cry sent more terror to my soul than that member ever -experienced from the well-remembered rebel yell. According to Toddie, -I was going to “fwolic” _them_; but from the first they took the whole -business into their own little but effective hands. Toddie pronounced -my knees, collectively, “a horsie-bonnie.” and bestrode them, laughing -gleefully at my efforts to unseat him, and holding himself in position -by digging his pudgy fingers into whatever portions of my anatomy -he could most easily seize. Budge shouted,” I want a horsie, too!” -and seated himself upon my chest. “This is the way the horsie goes,” -explained he, as he slowly rocked himself backward and forward. I began -to realize how my brother-in-law, who had once been a fine gymnast, had -become so flat-chested. Just then Budge’s face assumed a more spirited -expression, his eyes opened wide and lighted up, and shouting,” This -the way the horsie _trots_,” he stood upright, threw up his feet, and -dropped his forty-three avoirdupois pounds forcibly upon my lungs. He -repeated this operation several times before I fully recovered from the -shock conveyed by his combined impudence and weight; but pain finally -brought my senses back, and with a wild plunge I unseated my demoniac -riders and gained a clear space in the middle of the floor. - -“Ah—h—h—h—h—h—h!” screamed Toddie; “I wants to ride horshie backen.” - -“Boo—oo—oo—oo—!” roared Budge; “I think you’re real mean. I don’t love -you at all.” - -Regardless alike of Toddie’s desires, of Budge’s opinion and the -cessation of his regard, I performed a hasty toilet. Notwithstanding my -lost rest, I savagely thanked the Lord for Sunday; at church, at least, -I could be free from my tormentors. At the breakfast table both boys -invited themselves to accompany me to the sanctuary, but I declined, -without thanks. To take them might be to assist somewhat in teaching -them one of the best habits, but I strongly doubted whether the -severest Providence would consider it my duty to endure the probable -consequences of such an attempt. Besides I _might_ meet Miss Mayton. -I both hoped and feared I might, and I could not endure the thought -of appearing before her with the causes of my pleasant _remembrance_. -Budge protested, and Toddie wept, but I remained firm, although I -was so willing to gratify their reasonable desires that I took them -out for a long ante-service walk. While enjoying this little trip I -delighted the children by killing a snake and spoiling a slender cane -at the same time, my own sole consolation coming from the discovery -that the remains of the staff were sufficient to make a cane for -Budge. While returning to the house and preparing for church I entered -into a solemn agreement with Budge, who was usually recognized as the -head of this fraternal partnership. Budge contracted, for himself -and brother, to make no attempts to enter my room; to refrain from -fighting; to raise loose dirt only with a shovel, and to convey it to -its destination by means other than their own hats and aprons; to pick -no flowers; to open no water-faucets; to refer all disagreements to the -cook, as arbitrator, and to build no houses of the new books which I -had stacked upon the library table. In consideration of the promised -faithful observance of these conditions, I agreed that Budge should -be allowed to come alone to Sabbath-school, which convened directly -after morning service, he to start only after Maggie had pronounced -him duly cleansed and clothed. As Toddie was daily kept in bed from -eleven till one, I felt that I might safely worship without distracting -fears, for Budge could not alone, and in a single hour, become guilty -of any particular sin. The church at Hillcrest had many more seats -than members, and as but few summer visitors had yet appeared in the -town, I was conscious of being industriously stared at by the native -members of the congregation. This was of itself discomfort enough, -but not all to which I was destined, for the usher conducted me quite -near to the altar, and showed me into a pew whose only other occupant -was Miss Mayton! Of course the lady did not recognize me—she was too -carefully bred to do anything of the sort in church, and I spent ten -uncomfortable minutes in mentally abusing the customs of good society. -The beginning of the service partially ended my uneasiness, for I had -no hymn-book—the pew contained none—so Miss Mayton kindly offered me -a share in her own. And yet so faultlessly perfect and stranger-like -was her manner that I wondered whether her action might not have been -prompted merely by a sense of Christian duty; had I been the Khan of -Tartary she could not have been more polite and frigid. The music to -the first hymn was an air I had never heard before, so I stumbled -miserably through the tenor, although Miss Mayton rendered the soprano -without a single false note. The sermon was longer than I was in the -habit of listening to, and I was frequently conscious of not listening -at all. As for my position and appearance, neither ever seemed so -insignificant as they did throughout the entire service. - -[Illustration: MY NEPHEW BUDGE IN HIS BEST] - -The minister reached “And finally, dear brethren,” with my earnest -prayers for a successful and speedy finale. It seemed to me that the -congregation sympathized with me, for there was a general rustle -behind me as these words were spoken. It soon became evident, however, -that the hearers were moved by some other feeling, for I heard a -profound titter or two behind me. Even Miss Mayton turned her head -with more alacrity than was consistent with that grace which usually -characterized her motions, and the minister himself made a pause of -unusual length, I turned in my seat, and saw my nephew Budge, dressed -in his best, his head irreverently covered, and his new cane swinging -in the most stylish manner. He paused at each pew, carefully surveyed -its occupants, seemed to fail in finding the object of his search, -but continued his efforts in spite of my endeavors to catch his eye. -Finally he recognized a family acquaintance, and to him he unburdened -his bosom by remarking, in tones easily heard throughout the church:— - -“I want to find my uncle.” - -Just then he caught my eye, smiled rapturously, hurried to me, and laid -his rascally soft cheek confidingly against mine, while an audible -sensation pervaded the church. What to do or say to him I scarcely -knew; but my quandary was turned to wonder, as Miss Mayton, her face -full of ill-repressed mirth, but her eyes full of tenderness, drew the -little scamp close to her, and kissed him soundly. At the same instant, -the minister, not without some little hesitation, said, “Let us pray.” -I hastily bowed my head, glad of a chance to hide my face; but as I -stole a glance at the cause of this irreligious disturbance, I caught -Miss Mayton’s eye. She was laughing so violently that the contagion -was unavoidable, and I laughed all the harder as I felt that one -mischievous boy had undone the mischief caused by another. - -After the benediction, Budge was the recipient of a great deal of -attention, during the confusion of which I embraced the opportunity to -say to Miss Mayton:— - -“Do you still sustain my sister in her opinion of my nephews, Miss -Mayton?” - -“I think they’re too funny for anything,” replied the lady, with great -enthusiasm. “I _do_ wish you would bring them to call upon me. I’m -longing to see an _original_ young gentleman.” - -“Thank you,” said I. “And I’ll have Toddie bring a bouquet by way of -atonement.” - -“Do,” she replied, as I allowed her to pass from the pew. The word was -an insignificant one, but it made me happy once more. - -“You see, Uncle Harry,” exclaimed Budge, as we left the church -together, “the Sunday-school wasn’t open yet, an’ I wanted to hear if -they’d sing again in church; so I came in, an’ you wasn’t in papa’s -seat, an’ I knew you was _some_where, so I _looked_ for you.” - -“Bless you,” thought I, snatching him into my arms as if to hurry -him into Sabbath-school, but really to give him a kiss of grateful -affection, “you did right—_exactly_ right.” - -My Sunday dinner was unexceptional in point of quantity and quality, -and a bottle of my brother-in-law’s claret proved to be the most -excellent; yet a certain uneasiness of mind prevented my enjoying the -meal as thoroughly as under other circumstances I might have done. My -uneasiness came of a mingled sense of responsibility and ignorance. I -felt that it was the proper thing for me to see that my nephews spent -the day with some sense of the requirements and duties of the Sabbath; -but how I was to bring it about I hardly knew. The boys were too small -to have Bible-lessons administered to them, and they were too lively to -be kept quiet by any ordinary means. After a great deal of thought, I -determined to consult the children themselves, and try to learn what -their parents’ custom had been. - -“Budge,” said I, “what do you do Sundays when your papa and mamma are -home? What do they read to you—what do they talk about?” - -“Oh, they swing us—lots!” said Budge, with brightening eyes. - -“An’ zey takes us to get jacks,” observed Toddie. - -“Oh, yes!” exclaimed Budge; “jacks-in-the-pulpit,—don’t you know?” - -“Hum—ye—es; I do remember some such thing in my youthful days; they -grow where there’s plenty of mud, don’t they?” - -“Yes, an’ there’s a brook there, an’ ferns, an’ birchbark, an’ if you -don’t look out you’ll tumble into the brook when you go to get birch.” - -“An’ we goes to Hawksnest Rock,” piped Toddie, “an’ papa carries us up -on his back when we gets tired.” - -“An’ he makes us whistles,” said Budge. - -“Budge,” said I, rather hastily, “enough. In the language of the poet - - ‘These earthly pleasures I resign’ - -and I’m rather astonished that your papa hasn’t taught you to do -likewise. Don’t he ever read to you?” - -“Oh, yes,” cried Budge, clapping his hands as a happy thought struck -him. “He gets down the Bible—the great _big_ Bible, you know—an’ we all -lay on the floor, an’ he reads us stories out of it. There’s David, -an’ Noah, an’ when Christ was a little boy, an’ Joseph, an’ turn back -Pharo’s army hallelujah——” - -“And what?” - -“TurnbackPharo’sarmyhallelujah,” repeated Budge. “Don’t you know -how Moses held his cane out over the Red Sea, an’ the water went -’way up one side, an’ ’way up the other side, and all the Isrulites -went across? It’s just the same thing as _drown_ old Pharo’s army -hallelujah—don’t you know.” - -“Budge,” said I; “I suspect you of having, heard the Jubilee Singers.” - -“Oh, an’ papa an’ mamma sings us all those jubilee songs—there’s ‘Swing -Low,’ an’ ‘Roll Jordan,’ an’ ‘Steal Away,’ an’ ‘My Way’s Cloudy,’ an’ -’Get on Board, Childuns,’ an’ lots. An’ you can sing us every one of -’em.” - -“An’ papa takes us in the woods and makesh us canes,” said Toddie. - -[Illustration: PUTTING AN EXTENSION ON THE AFTERNOON] - -“Yes,” said Budge, “and where there’s new houses buildin’, he takes us -up ladders.” - -“Has he any way of putting an extension on the afternoon?” I asked. - -“I don’t know what that is,” said Budge, “but he puts an India-rubber -blanket on the grass, and then we all lie down and make b’lieve we’re -soldiers asleep. Only sometimes when we wake up, papa stays asleep, an’ -mamma won’t let us wake him. I don’t think that’s a very nice play.” - -“Well, I think Bible stories are nicer than anything else, don’t you?” - -Budge seemed somewhat in doubt. “I think swingin’ is nicer,” said -he—“oh, no;—let’s get some jacks—_I’ll_ tell you what!—make us -whistles, an’ we can blow on ’em while we’re goin’ to get the jacks. -Toddie, dear, wouldn’t _you_ like jacks an’ whistles?” - -“Yesh—an’ swingin’—an’ birch—an’ wantsh to go to Hawksnesh Rock,” -answered Toddie. - -“Let’s have Bible stories first,” said I. “The Lord mightn’t like it if -you didn’t learn anything good to-day.” - -“Well,” said Budge, with the regulation religious-matter-of-duty face, -“let’s. I guess I like ’bout Joseph best.” - -“Tell us ’bout Bliaff,” suggested Toddie. - -“Oh, no, Tod,” remonstrated Budge; “Joseph’s coat was just as bloody -as Goliath’s head was.” Then Budge turned to me and explained that -“all Tod likes Goliath for is ’cause when his head was cut off it was -all bloody.” And then Toddie—the airy sprite whom his mother described -as being irresistibly drawn to whatever was beautiful—Toddie glared -upon me, as a butcher’s apprentice might stare at a doomed lamb, and -remarked:— - -“Bliaff’s head was all bluggy, an’ David’s sword was all bluggy—bluggy -as everyfing.” - -I hastily breathed a small prayer, opened the Bible, turned to the -story of Joseph, and audibly condensed it, as I read: - -“Joseph was a good little boy, whose papa loved him very dearly. But -his brothers didn’t like him. And they sold him to go to Egypt. And he -was very smart, and told people what their dreams meant, and he got to -be a great man. And his brothers went to Egypt to buy corn, and Joseph -sold them some, and then he let them know who he was. And he sent them -home to bring their papa to Egypt, and then they all lived there -together.” - -“That ain’t it,” remarked Toddie, with the air of a man who felt -himself to be unjustly treated. “Is it, Budge?” - -“Oh, no,” said Budge, “you didn’t read it good a bit; _I’ll_ tell you -how it is. Once there was a little boy named Joseph, an’ he had eleven -budders—they was _awful_ eleven budders. An’ his papa gave him a new -coat, an’ his budders hadn’t nothin’ but their old jackets to wear. An’ -one day he was carrying ’em their dinner, an’ they put him in a deep, -dark hole, but they didn’t put his nice new coat in—they killed a kid, -an’ dipped the coat—just think of doin’ that to a nice new coat—they -dipped it in the kid’s blood, an’ made it all bloody.” - -“All bluggy,” echoed Toddie, with ferocious emphasis. Budge continued:— - -“But there were some Ishmalites comin’ along that way, and the awful -eleven budders took him out of the deep, dark hole, an’ sold him -to the Ishmalites, an’ they sold him away down in Egypt. An’ his -poor old papa cried, an’ cried, an’ cried, ’cause he thought a big -lion ate Joseph up; but he wasn’t ate up a bit; but there wasn’t no -post-office nor choo-choos,[6] nor stages in Egypt, an’ there wasn’t -any telegraphs, so Joseph couldn’t let his papa know where he was; an’ -he got so smart an’ so good that the king of Egypt let him sell all -the corn an’ take care of the money; ’an one day some men came to buy -some com, an’ Joseph looked at ’em ’an they was his own budders! An’ he -scared ’em like everything; _I’d_ have _slapped_ ’em all if _I’d_ been -Joseph, but he just scared ’em, an’ then he let ’em know who he was, -an’ he kissed ’em an’ he didn’t whip ’em, or make ’em go without their -breakfast, or stand in a corner, nor none of them things; an’ then he -sent them back for their papa, an’ when he saw his papa comin’, he ran -like everything, and gave him a great big hug and a kiss. Joseph was -too big to ask him if he’d brought him any candy, but he was awful glad -to see him. An’ the king gave Joseph’s papa a nice farm, an’ they all -had real good times after that.” - - [6] Railway cars. - -“An’ they dipped the coat in the blood, an’ made it all bluggy,” -reiterated Toddie. - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, “what do you think _my_ papa would do, if -he thought I was all ate up by a lion? I guess he’d cry _awful_, don’t -you? Now tell us another story—oh, _I’ll_ tell you—read us ’bout—” - -”’Bout Bliaff,” interrupted Toddie. - -“_You_ tell _me_ about him, Toddie,” said I. - -“Why,” said Toddie, “Bliaff was a brate bid man, an’ Dave was brate -little man, an’ Bliaff said, ‘Come over here, an’ I’ll eat you up,’ an’ -Dave said, ‘_I_ ain’t fyaid of you.’ So Dave put five little stones in -a sling an’ asked de Lord to help him, an’ let ze sling go bang into -bequeen Bliaff’s eyes an’ knocked him down dead, an’ Dave took Bliaff’s -sword an’ sworded Bliaff’s head off, an’ made it all bluggy, an’ Bliaff -runned away.” This short narration was accompanied by more spirited and -unexpected gestures than Mr. Gough ever puts into a long lecture. - -“I don’t like ’bout Goliath at all,” remarked Budge, “_I’d_ like to -hear ’bout Ferus.” - -“Who?” - -“Ferus; don’t you know?” - -“Never heard of him, Budge.” - -[Illustration: “IF I WAS ALL ATE UP BY A LION”] - -“Why—y—y—!” exclaimed Budge; “didn’t you have no papa when you was a -little boy?” - -“Yes, but he never told me about any one named Ferus; there is no such -person named in Anthon’s Classical Dictionary, either. What sort of a -man was he?” - -“Why, once there was a man, an’ his name was Ferus—_Of_ferus, an’ he -went about fightin’ for kings, but when any king got afraid of anybody, -he wouldn’t fight for him no more. An’ one day he couldn’t find no -kings that wasn’t afraid of nobody. An’ the people told him the Lord -was the biggest king in the world, an’ he wasn’t afraid of nobody nor -nothing. An’ he asked ’em where he could find the Lord, an’ they said -he was ’way up in heaven so nobody couldn’t see him but the angels, -but he liked folks to _work_ for him instead of fight. So Ferus wanted -to know what kind of work he could do, an’ the people said there was a -river not far off, where there wasn’t no ferry-boats, ’cos the water -run so fast, an’ they guessed if he’d carry folks across, the Lord -would like it. So Ferus went there, an’ he cut him a good, strong cane, -an’ whenever anybody wanted to go across the river he’d carry ’em on -his back. - -“One night he was sittin’ in his little house by the fire, and smokin’ -his pipe an’ readin’ the paper, an’ ’twas rainin’ an’ blowin’ an’ -hailin’ an’ stormin’, an’ he was so glad there wasn’t anybody wantin’ -to go ’cross the river, when he heard somebody call out, ‘Ferus!’ An’ -he looked out the window, but he couldn’t see nobody, so he sat down -again. Then somebody called, ‘Ferus!’ again, and he opened the door -again, an’ there was a little bit of a boy, ’bout as big as Toddie. -An’ Ferus said, ‘Hello, young fellow, does your mother know you’re -out?’ An’ the little boy said, ‘I want to go ’cross the river.’—‘Well,’ -says Ferus, ‘you’re a mighty little fellow to be travelin’ alone, but -hop up.’ So the little boy jumped up on Ferus’ back, and Ferus walked -into the water. Oh, my—_wasn’t_ it cold? An’ every step he took, the -little boy got heavier, so Ferus nearly tumbled down an’ they liked -to both got drownded. An’ when they got across the river Ferus said, -’Well, you _are_ the heaviest small fry I ever carried,’ an’ he turned -around to look at him, an’ ’twasn’t no little boy at all—’twas a big -man—’twas Christ. An’ Christ said, ‘Ferus, I heard you was tryin’ to -work for me, so I thought I’d come down an’ see you, an’ not let you -know who I was. An’ now you shall have a new name; you shall be called -_Christ_offerus, ’cos that means Christ-carrier.’ An’ everybody called -him Christofferus after that, an’ when he died they called him _Saint_ -Christopher, ’cos Saint is what they call good people when they’re -dead.” - -Budge, himself, had the face of a rapt saint as he told this story, but -my contemplation of his countenance was suddenly arrested by Toddie, -who, disapproving of the unexciting nature of his brother’s recital, -had strayed into the garden, investigated a hornet’s nest, been stung, -and set up a piercing shriek. He ran in to me, and as I hastily picked -him up, he sobbed:— - -“Want to be wocked.[7] Want ‘Toddie one boy day.’” - - [7] Rocked - -I rocked him violently, and petted him tenderly, but again he sobbed:— - -“Want ‘Toddie one boy day.’” - -“What _does_ the child mean?” I exclaimed. - -“He wants you to sing to him about ‘Charlie boy one day,’” said Budge. -“He always wants mamma to sing that when he’s hurt, an’ then he stops -crying.” - -“I don’t know it,” said I. “Won’t ‘Roll, Jordan,’ do, Toddie?” - -“_I’ll_ tell you how it goes,” said Budge, and forthwith the youth sang -the following song, a line at a time, I following him in words and air:— - - “Where is my little bastik[8] gone? - Said Charley boy one day; - I guess some little boy or girl - Has taken it away. - - “An’ kittie, too—where _ish_ she gone? - Oh, dear, what I shall do? - I wish I could my bastik find, - An’ little kittie, too. - - “I’ll go to mamma’s room an’ look; - Perhaps she may be there; - For kittie likes to take a nap - In mamma’s easy chair. - - “O mamma, mamma, come an’ look! - See what a little heap! - Here’s kittie in the bastik here, - All cuddled down to sleep.” - - [8] Basket. - -Where the applicability of this poem to my nephew’s peculiar trouble -appeared, I could not see, but as I finished it, his sobs gave place to -a sigh of relief. - -“Toddie,” said I, “do you love your Uncle Harry?” - -“Esh, I _do_ love you.” - -“Then tell me how that ridiculous song comforts you?” - -“Makes me feel good, an’ all nicey,” replied Toddie. - -“Wouldn’t you feel just as good if I sang, ‘Plunged in a gulf of dark -despair’?” - -“No, don’t like dokdishpairs; if a dokdishpair done anyfing to me, I’d -knock it right down dead.” - -With this extremely lucid remark, our conversation on this particular -subject ended; but I wondered, during a few uneasy moments, whether -the temporary mental aberration which had once afflicted Helen’s -grandfather and mine was not reappearing in this, his youngest -descendant. My wondering was cut short by Budge, who remarked, in a -confidential tone:— - -“Now, Uncle Harry, we’ll have the whistles, I guess.” - -[Illustration: TODDIE INVESTIGATING A HORNET’S NEST] - -I acted upon the suggestion, and led the way to the woods. I had not -had occasion to seek a hickory sapling before for years; not since -the war, in fact, when I learned how hot a fire small hickory sticks -would make. I had not sought wood for whistles since—— Gracious, -nearly a quarter of a century ago! The dissimilar associations called -up by these recollections threatened to put me in a frame of mind -which might have resulted in a bad poem, had not my nephews kept up -a lively succession of questions, such as no one but children can -ask. The whistles completed, I was marched, with music, to the place -where the “jacks” grew. It was just such a place as boys instinctively -delight in—low, damp, and boggy, with a brook hiding treacherously -away, under overhanging ferns and grasses. The children knew by sight -the plant which bore the “jacks,” and every discovery was announced -by a piercing shriek of delight. At first, I looked hurriedly toward -the brook as each yell clove the air; but, as I became accustomed -to it, my attention was diverted by some exquisite ferns. Suddenly, -however, a succession of shrieks announced that something was wrong, -and across a large fern I saw a small face in a great deal of agony. -Budge was hurrying to the relief of his brother, and was soon as deeply -imbedded as Toddie was, in the rich black mud at the bottom of the -brook. I dashed to the rescue, stood astride the brook, and offered a -hand to each boy, when a treacherous tuft of grass gave way, and, with -a glorious splash, I went in myself. This accident turned Toddie’s -sorrow to laughter, but I can’t say I made light of my misfortune on -that account. To fall into _clean_ water is not pleasant, even when -one is trout-fishing; but to be clad in white pants, and suddenly -drop knee-deep in the lap of mother Earth is quite a different thing. -I hastily picked up the children, and threw them upon the bank, and -then wrathfully strode out myself, and tried to shake myself as I have -seen a Newfoundland dog do. The shake was not a success—it caused my -trouser-leg to flap dismally about my ankles, and sent the streams of -loathsome ooze trickling down into my shoes. My hat, of drab felt, had -fallen off by the brookside, and been plentifully spattered as I got -out. I looked at my youngest nephew with speechless indignation. - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, ”’twas real good of the Lord to let you be -with us, else Toddie might have been drownded.” - -“Yes,” said I, “and I shouldn’t have much——” - -“Ocken Hawwy,” cried Toddie, running impetuously toward me, pulling me -down, and patting my cheek with his muddy, black hand, “I _loves_ you -for taking me out de water.” - -“I accept your apology,” said I, “but let’s hurry home.” There was -but one residence to pass, and that, thank fortune, was so densely -screened by shrubbery that the inmates could not see the road. To be -sure, we were on a favorite driving-road, but we could reach home in -five minutes, and we might dodge into the woods if we heard a carriage -coming. Ha! There came a carriage already, and we—was there ever a -sorrier-looking group? There were ladies in the carriage, too—could it -be—of course it was—did the evil spirit, which guided those children -always, send an attendant for Miss Mayton before he began operations? -There she was, anyway—cool, neat, dainty, trying to look collected, but -severely flushed by the attempt. It was of no use to drop my eyes, for -she had already recognized me; so I turned to her a face which I think -must have been just the one—unless more defiant—that I carried into two -or three cavalry charges. - -“You seem to have been having a real good time together,” said she, -with a conventional smile, as the carriage passed. “Remember, you’re -all going to call on me to-morrow afternoon.” - -[Illustration: “BUT LET’S HURRY HOME”] - -Bless the girl! Her heart was as quick as her eyes—almost any other -young lady would have devoted her entire energy to laughing on such -an occasion, but _she_ took her earliest opportunity to make me feel -at ease. Such a royal-hearted woman deserves to—I caught myself just -here, with my cheeks growing quite hot under the mud Toddie had put -on them, and I led our retreat with a more stylish carriage than my -appearance could possibly have warranted, and then I consigned my -nephews to the maid with very much the air of an officer turning over a -large number of prisoners he had captured. I hastily changed my soiled -clothing for my best—not that I expected to see anyone, but because of -a sudden increase in the degree of respect I felt toward myself. When -the children were put to bed, and I had no one but my thoughts for -companions, I spent a delightful hour or two in imagining as possible -some changes of which I had never dared to think before. - -On Monday morning I was in the garden at sunrise. Toddie was to carry -his expiatory bouquet to Miss Mayton that day, and I proposed that no -pains should be spared to make his atonement as handsome as possible. -I canvassed carefully every border, bed, and detached flowering plant -until I had as accurate an idea of their possibilities as if I had -inventoried the flowers in pen and ink. This done, I consulted the -servant as to the unsoiled clothing of my nephews? She laid out the -entire wardrobe for my inspection, and after a rigid examination of -everything, I selected the suits which the boys were to wear in the -afternoon. Then I told the girl that the boys were going with me after -dinner to call on some ladies and that I desired that she should wash -and dress them carefully. - -“Tell me just what time you’ll start, sir, and I’ll begin an hour -beforehand,” said she. “That’s the only way to be sure that they don’t -disgrace you.” - -For breakfast, we had, among other things, some stewed oysters served -in soup-plates. - -“O Tod,” shrieked Budge, “there’s the turtle-plates again—oh, _ain’t_ I -glad!” - -“Oo—ee—turtle pyates!” squealed Toddie. - -“What on earth do you mean, boys?” I demanded. - -“_I’ll_ show you,” said Budge, jumping down from his chair, and -bringing his plate of oysters cautiously toward me. “Now you just put -your head down underneath my plate, and look up, and you’ll see a -turtle.” - -For a moment I forgot that I was not at a restaurant, and I took the -plate, held it up, and examined its bottom. - -“There!” said Budge, pointing to the trade-mark, in colors, of the -makers of the crockery, “don’t you see the turtle?” - -I abruptly ordered Budge to his seat, unmoved even by Toddie’s remark, -that— - -“Dey ish turtles, but dey can’t kwawl awound like udder turtles.” - -After breakfast I devoted a great deal of fussy attention to myself. -Never did my own wardrobe seem so meager and ill-assorted; never -did I cut myself so many times while shaving; never did I use such -unsatisfactory shoe-polish. I finally gave up in despair my effort to -appear genteel, and devoted myself to the bouquet. I cut almost flowers -enough to dress a church, and then remorselessly excluded every one -which was in the least particular imperfect. In making the bouquet I -enjoyed the benefit of my nephews’ assistance and counsel, and took -enforced part in conversation which flowers suggested. - -“Ocken Hawwy,” said Toddie, “ish heaven all like this, wif pretty -f’owers? ’Cos I don’t see what ze angels ever turns out for if ’tis.” - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, “when the leaves all go up and down and -wriggle around so, are they talking to the wind?” - -“I—I guess so, old fellow.” - -“Who are you making that bouquet for, Uncle Harry?” asked Budge. - -“For a lady—for Miss Mayton—that lady that saw us all muddy yesterday -afternoon,” said I. - -“Oh, I like her,” said Budge. “She looks so nice and pretty—just like a -cake—just as if she was good to eat—oh, I just love her, don’t _you_?” - -“Well, I respect her very highly, Budge.” - -”’Spect? What does ’spect mean?” - -“Why it means that I think she’s a lady—a real pleasant lady—just the -nicest sort of lady in the world—the sort of person I’d like to see -every day, and like to see her better than anyone else.” - -“Oh, why, ’spect an’ love means just the same thing, don’t they, Uncle -Har——” - -“Budge,” I exclaimed, somewhat hastily, “run, ask Maggie for a piece of -string—quick!” - -“All right,” said Budge, moving off, “but they _do_, don’t they?” - -At two o’clock I instructed Maggie to dress my nephews, and at three -we started to make our call. To carry Toddie’s bouquet, and hold a -hand of each boy so as to keep them from darting into the hedges for -grasshoppers and the gutters for butterflies, was no easy work, but -I managed to do it. As we approached Mrs. Clarkson’s boarding-house -I felt my hat was over one ear, and my cravat awry, but there was no -opportunity to rearrange them, for I saw Alice Mayton on the piazza, -and felt that she saw me. Handing the bouquet to Toddie, and promising -him three sticks of candy if he would be careful and not drop it, we -entered the garden. The moment we were inside the hedge and Toddie -saw a man going over the lawn with a lawn-mower, he shrieked: “Oh, -deresh a cutter-grass!” and dropped the bouquet with the carelessness -born of perfect ecstasy. I snatched it before it reached the ground, -dragged the offending youth up the walk, saluted Miss Mayton, and told -Toddie to give the bouquet to the lady. This he succeeded in doing, -but as Miss Mayton thanked him and stooped to kiss him he wriggled -off the piazza like a little eel, shouted, “Turn on!” to his brother, -and a moment later my nephews were following the “cutter-grass” at a -respectful distance in the rear. - -“Those are my sister’s ‘best children in the world,’ Miss Mayton,” said -I. - -“Bless the little darlings!” replied the lady; “I _do_ love to see -children enjoying themselves.” - -“So do I,” said I, “when I’m not responsible for their well-being; but -if the effort I’ve expended on those boys had been directed toward the -interests of my employers, those worthy gentlemen would consider me -invaluable.” - -Miss Mayton made some witty reply, and we settled to a pleasant chat -about mutual acquaintances, about books, pictures, music and gossip of -our set. I would cheerfully have discussed Herbert Spencer’s system, -the Assyrian Tablets, or any other dry subject with Miss Mayton, and -felt that I was richly repaid by the pleasure of seeing her. Handsome, -intelligent, composed, tastefully dressed, without a suspicion of -the flirt or the languid woman of fashion about her, she awakened to -the uttermost every admiring sentiment and every manly feeling. But, -alas! my enjoyment was probably more than I deserved, so it was cut -short. There were other ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson’s, and, as -Miss Mayton truthfully observed at our first meeting, men were very -scarce at Hillcrest. So the ladies, by the merest accident, of course, -happened upon the piazza and each one was presented to me, and common -civility made it impossible for me to speak to Miss Mayton more than -once in ten minutes. At any other time and place I should have found -the meeting of so many ladies a delightful experience, but now—— - -Suddenly, a compound shriek arose from the lawn, and all the ladies -sprang to their feet. I followed their example, setting my teeth firmly -and viciously, hoping that whichever nephew had been hurt was _badly_ -hurt. We saw Toddie running toward us with one hand in his mouth, while -Budge ran beside him, exclaiming:— - -“_Poor_ little Toddie! Don’t cry! _Does_ it hurt you awful? Never -mind—Uncle Harry’ll comfort you. Don’t cry, Toddie, _de_-ar!” - -Both boys reached the piazza steps, and clambered up, Budge exclaiming:— - -“O Uncle Harry, Toddie put his fingers in the little wheels of the -cutter-grass, an’ it turned just the least little biddie, an’ it hurted -him.” - -But Toddie ran up to me, clasped my legs and sobbed: “Sing ‘Toddie one -boy day.’” - -My blood seemed to freeze. I could have choked that dreadful child, -suffering though he was. I stooped over him, caressed him, promised -him candy, took out my watch and gave it to him to play with, but -he returned to his original demand. A lady—the homeliest in the -party—suggested that she should bind up his hand, and I inwardly -blessed her, but he reiterated his request for “Toddie one boy day,” -and sobbed pitifully. - -“What _does_ he mean?” asked Miss Mayton. - -“He wants Uncle Harry to sing, ‘Charley boy one day,’” explained Budge; -“he always wants that song when he’s hurt anyway.” - -“Oh, do sing it to him, Mr. Burton,” pleaded Miss Mayton; and all the -other ladies exclaimed, “Oh, do!” - -I wrathfully picked him up in my arms and hummed the air of the -detested song. - -“Sit in a wockin’-chair,” sobbed Toddie. - -I obeyed; and then my tormentor remarked:— - -“You don’t sing the wydes [words]—I wants the wydes.” - -I sang the words as softly as possible, with my lips close to his ear, -but he roared:— - -“Sing louder!” - -“I don’t know any more of it, Toddle,” I exclaimed in desperation. - -“Oh, I’ll tell it all to you, Uncle Harry,” said Budge. And there, -before that audience, and _her_, I was obliged to sing that dreadful -doggerel, line for line, as Budge repeated it. My teeth were set tight, -my brow grew clammy, and I gazed upon Toddie with terrible thoughts in -my mind. No one laughed—I grew so desperate that a titter would have -given relief. At last I heard someone whisper:— - -“_See_ how he loves him! Poor man!—he’s in perfect agony over the -little fellow.” - -Had not the song reached its natural end just then, I believe I should -have tossed my wounded nephew over the piazza rail. As it was, I set -him upon his feet, announced the necessity of our departure, and began -to take leave, when Miss Mayton’s mother insisted that we should stay -to dinner. - -“For myself, I should be delighted, Mrs. Mayton,” said I; “but my -nephews have hardly learned company manners yet. I’m afraid my sister -wouldn’t forgive me if she heard I had taken them out to dinner.” - -“Oh, I’ll take care of the little dears,” said Miss Mayton; “they’ll be -good with _me_, I _know_.” - -“I couldn’t be so unkind as to let you try it, Miss Mayton,” I replied. -But she insisted, and the pleasure of submitting to her will was so -great that I would have risked even greater mischief. So Miss Mayton -sat down to dinner with Budge upon one side and Toddie on the other, -while I was fortunately placed opposite, from which position I could -indulge in warning winks and frowns. The soup was served. I signaled -the boys to tuck their napkins under their chins, and then turned to -speak to the lady on my right. She politely inclined her head toward -me, but her thoughts seemed elsewhere; following her eyes, I beheld my -youngest nephew with his plate upraised in both hands, his head on the -tablecloth, and his eyes turned painfully upward. I dared not speak, -for fear he would drop the plate. Suddenly he withdrew his head, put -on an angelic smile, tilted his plate so part of its contents sought -refuge in the folds of Miss Mayton’s dainty, snowy dress, while the -offender screamed:— - -“Oo-ee! zha turtle on my pyate!—Budgie, zha turtle on my pyate!” - -[Illustration: “OO-EE! ZHA TURTLE ON MY PYATE”] - -Budge was about to raise his plate when he caught my eye and desisted. -Poor Miss Mayton actually looked discomposed for the first time in -her life, so far as I knew or could imagine. She recovered quickly, -however, and treated that wretched boy with the most Christian -forbearance and consideration during the remainder of the meal. When -the dessert was finished she quickly excused herself, while I removed -Toddie to a secluded corner of the piazza, and favored him with a -lecture which caused him to howl pitifully, and compelled me to caress -him and undo all the good which my rebukes had done. Then he and -Budge removed themselves to the lawn, while I awaited Miss Mayton’s -reappearance to offer an apology for Toddie, and make our adieus. -It was the custom of the ladies at Mrs. Clarkson’s to stroll about -the lovely rural walks after dinner and until twilight; and on this -particular evening they departed in twos and threes, leaving me to make -my apology without witnesses. I was rather sorry they went; it was not -pleasant to feel that I was principally responsible for my nephew’s -blunder, and to have no opportunity to allay my conscience-pangs by -conversation. It seemed to me Miss Mayton was forever in appearing; I -even called up my nephews to have some one to talk to. - -Suddenly she appeared, and in an instant I fervently blessed Toddie and -the soup which the child had sent upon its aimless wanderings. I would -rather pay the price of a fine dress than try to describe Miss Mayton’s -attire; I can only say that in style, color and ornament it became her -perfectly, and set off the beauties of a face which I had never before -thought was more than pleasing and intelligent. Perhaps the anger, -which was excusable after Toddie’s graceless caper, had something to -do with putting unusual color into her cheeks, and a brighter sparkle -than usual in her eyes. Whatever was the cause, she looked queenly, and -I half imagined that I detected in her face a gleam of satisfaction -at the involuntary start which her unexpected appearance caused me to -make. She accepted my apology for Toddie with queenly graciousness, and -then, instead of proposing that we should follow the other ladies, -as a moment before I had hoped she would, she dropped into a chair. -I accepted the invitation; the children should have been in bed half -an hour before, but my sense of responsibility had departed when -Miss Mayton appeared. The little scamps were safe until they should -perform some new and unexpected act of impishness. They retired to -one end of the piazza, and busied themselves in experiments upon a -large Newfoundland dog, while I, the happiest man alive, talked to the -glorious woman before me, and enjoyed the spectacle of her radiant -beauty. The twilight came and deepened, but imagination prevented the -vision from fading. With the coming of the darkness and the starlight, -our voices unconsciously dropped to lower tones, and _her_ voice seemed -purest music. And yet we said nothing which all the world might not -have listened to without suspecting a secret. The ladies returned in -little groups, but either out of womanly intuition or in answer to my -unspoken but fervent prayers, passed us and went into the house. I -was affected by an odd mixture of desperate courage and despicable -cowardice. I determined to tell her all, yet I shrank from the task -with more terror than ever befell me in the first steps of a charge. - -Suddenly a small shadow came from behind us and stood between us, and -the voice of Budge remarked:— - -“Uncle Harry ’spects you, Miss Mayton.” - -“Suspects me?—of what, pray?” exclaimed the lady, patting my nephew’s -cheek. - -“Budge!” said I—I feel that my voice rose nearly to a scream—“Budge, I -must beg of you to respect the sanctity of confidential communications.” - -“What is it, Budge?” persisted Miss Mayton. “You know the old adage, -Mr. Burton: ‘Children and fools speak the truth.’ Of what does he -suspect me, Budge?” - -”’Taint _sus_-pect at all,” said Budge, “it’s es-spect.” - -“Expect?” echoed Miss Mayton. - -“No, not ‘ex,’ it’s _es_-spect. I know all about it, ’cause I asked -him. Es-spect is what folks do when they think you’re nice, and like -to talk to you, and——” - -“Respect is what the boy is trying to say, Miss Mayton,” I interrupted, -to prevent what I feared might follow. “Budge has a terrifying faculty -for asking questions, and the result of some of them, this morning, -was my endeavor to explain to him the nature of the respect in which -gentlemen hold ladies.” - -“Yes,” continued Budge, “I know all about it. Only Uncle Harry don’t -say it right. What he calls espect _I_ calls _love_.” - -There was an awkward pause—it seemed an age. Another blunder, and all -on account of those dreadful children. I could think of no possible way -to turn the conversation; stranger yet, Miss Mayton could not do so, -either. Something _must_ be done—I could at least be honest, come what -would—I would be honest. - -“Miss Mayton,” said I, hastily, earnestly, but in a very low tone. -“Budge is a marplot, but he is a truthful interpreter for all that. But -whatever my fate may be, please do not suspect me of falling suddenly -in love for a holiday’s diversion. My malady is of some months’ -standing. I——” - -“_I_ want to talk _some_” observed Budge. “You talk all the whole time. -I—I—when I loves anybody, I kisses them.” - -Miss Mayton gave a little start, and my thoughts followed each other -with unimagined rapidity. _She_ did not turn the conversation—it could -not be possible that she _could_ not. She was not angry, or she would -have expressed herself. Could it be that—— - -I bent over her, and acted upon Budge’s suggestion. As she displayed no -resentment, I pressed my lips a second time to her forehead, then she -raised her head slightly, and I saw, in spite of darkness and shadows, -that Alice Mayton had surrendered at discretion. Taking her hand and -straightening myself to my full height, I offered to the Lord more -fervent thanks than He ever heard from me in church. Then I heard Budge -say, “_I_ wants to kiss you, too,” and I saw my glorious Alice snatch -the little scamp into her arms, and treat him with more affection than -I ever imagined was in her nature. Then she seized Toddie, and gave him -a few tokens of forgiveness—I dare not think they were of gratitude. - -Suddenly two or three ladies came upon the piazza. - -“Come, boys,” said I; “then I’ll call with the carriage to-morrow at -three, Miss Mayton. Good evening.” - -“Good evening,” replied the sweetest voice in the world; “I’ll be ready -at three.” - -“Budge,” said I, as soon as we were fairly outside the hedge-gate, -“what do you like better than anything else in the world?” - -“Candy,” said Budge, very promptly. - -“What next?” - -“Oranges.” - -“What next?” - -“Oh, figs, an’ raisins, an’ dear little kittie-kitties, an’ drums, -an’ picture-books, an’ little bakin’ dishes to make mud-pies in, an’ -turtles, an’ little wheelbarrows.” - -“Anything else?” - -“Oh, yes—great big black dogs—an’ a goat, an’ a wagon for him to draw -me in.” - -Very well, old fellow—you shall have every one of those things -to-morrow.” - -“Oh—h—h—h—h!” exclaimed Budge,” I guess you’re something like the Lord, -ain’t you?” - -[Illustration: ACTING UPON BUDGES’ SUGGESTION] - -“What makes you think so, Budge?” - -“Oh, ’cause you can do such lots of things at once. But ain’t poor -little Tod goin’ to have noffin’?” - -“Yes, everything he wants. What would you like, Toddie?” - -“Wants a candy cigar,” replied Toddie. - -“What else?” - -“Don’t want _nuffin’_ else—don’t want to be boddered wif _lots_ of -fings.” - -The thoughts which were mine that night—the sense of how glorious a -thing it is to be a man and be loved—the humility that comes with such -a victory as I had gained—the rapid alternation of happy thoughts and -noble resolutions—what man is there who does not know my whole story -better than I can tell it? I put my nephews to bed; I told them every -story they asked for; and when Budge, in saying his prayers, said, -“an’ bless that nice lady that Uncle Harry ’spects,” I interrupted his -devotions with a hearty hug. The children had been awake so far beyond -their usual hour for retiring that they dropped asleep without giving -any special notice of their intention to do so. Asleep, their faces -were simply angelic. As I stood, candle in hand, gazing gratefully upon -them, I remembered a sadly neglected duty. I hurried to the library and -wrote the following to my sister:— - - “HILLCREST. MONDAY NIGHT. - - “DEAR HELEN:—I should have written you before had I been exactly - certain what to say about your boys. I confess that until now I have - been blind to some of their virtues, and have imagined I detected an - occasional fault. But the scales have fallen from my eyes, and I see - clearly that my nephews are angels—positively angels. If I seem to - speak extravagantly, I beg to refer you to Alice Mayton for collateral - evidence. Don’t come home at all—everything is just as it should - be—even if you come, I guess I’ll invite myself to spend the rest of - the summer with you; I’ve changed my mind about its being a bore to - live out of town and take trains back and forth every day. Ask Tom - to think over such bits of real estate in your neighborhood as he - imagines I might like. - - “I repeat it, the boys are angels, and Alice Mayton is another, while - the happiest man in the white goods trade is - - “Your affectionate brother - - “HARRY.” - -Early next morning I sought the society of my nephews. It was -absolutely necessary that I should overflow to _some_ one—some one -who was sympathetic and innocent and pure. I longed for my sister—my -mother, but to _some_ one I must talk at once. Budge fulfilled my -requirements exactly; he was an excellent listener, very sympathetic by -nature, and quick to respond. Not the wisdom of the most reverend sage -alive could have been so grateful to my ear as that child’s prattle -was on that delightful morning. As for Toddie—blessed be the law of -compensation!—his faculty of repetition, and of echoing whatever he -heard said, caused him to murmur, “Miff Mayton, Miff Mayton,” all -morning long, and the sound gained in sweetness by its ceaseless -iteration. To be sure, Budge took early and frequent occasions to -remind me of my promises of the night before, and Toddie occasionally -demanded the promised candy cigar; but these very interruptions only -added joy to my own topic of interest each time it was resumed. The -filling of Budge’s orders occupied two or three hours and all the -vacant space in the carriage; even then the goat and goat-carriage -were compelled to follow behind. - -The program for the afternoon was arranged to the satisfaction of every -one. I gave the coachman, Mike, a dollar to harness the goat and teach -the children to drive him; this left me free to drive off without being -followed by two small figures and two pitiful howls. - -I always believed a horse was infected by the spirit of his driver. My -dear old four-footed military companions always seemed to perfectly -comprehend my desires and intentions, and certainly my brother-in-law’s -horses entered into my own spirits on this particular afternoon. They -stepped proudly, they arched their powerful necks handsomely, their -feet seemed barely to touch the ground; yet they did not grow restive -under the bit, nor were they frightened, even, at a hideous steam -road-rolling machine which passed us. As I drove up to Mrs. Clarkson’s -door I found that most of the boarders were on the piazza—the memories -of ladies are usually good at times. Alice immediately appeared, -composed of course, but more radiant than ever. - -“Why, where are the boys?” she exclaimed. - -“I was afraid they might annoy your mother,” I replied, “so I left them -behind.” - -“Oh, mother hardly feels well enough to go to-day,” said she; “she is -lying down.” - -“Then we can pick up the boys on the road,” said I, for which remark -my enchantress, already descending the steps, gave me a look which the -ladies behind her would have given their best switches to have seen. -We drove off as decorously as if it were Sunday and we were going to -church; we industriously pointed out to each other every handsome -garden and tasteful residence we passed; we met other people driving, -and conversed fluently upon their horses, carriages and dress. But when -we reached the edge of the town, and I turned into “Happy Valley,” -a road following the depressions and curves of a long, well-wooded -valley, in which there was not a single straight line, I turned and -looked into my darling’s face. Her eyes met mine, and although they -were full of a happiness which I had never seen in them before, they -filled with tears, and their dear owner dropped her head on my shoulder. - -[Illustration: TO SKIP ALL LOVE TALKS IN NOVELS] - -What we said on that long drive would not interest the reader. I have -learned by experience to skip all love talks in novels, no matter how -delightful the lovers may be. Recalling now our conversation, it does -not seem to have had anything wonderful in it. I will only say, that -if I had been happy on the evening before, my happiness now seemed to -be sanctified; to be favored with the love and confidence of a simple -girl scarcely past her childhood, is to receive a greater honor than -court or field can bestow; but even this honor is far surpassed by -that which comes to a man when a woman of rare intelligence, tact and -knowledge of society and the world, unburdens her heart of all its -hopes and fears, and unhesitatingly leaves her destiny to be shaped -by his love. Women like Alice Mayton do not thus give themselves -unreservedly away, except when their trust is born of knowledge as -well as affection, and the realization of all this changed me on that -afternoon from whatever I had been, into what I had long hoped I might -one day be. - -But the hours flew rapidly, and I reluctantly turned the horses’ heads -homeward. We had left almost the whole of “Happy Valley” behind us, and -were approaching residences again. - -“Now we must be very proper,” said Alice. - -“Certainly,” I replied, “here’s a good-by to happy nonsense for this -afternoon.” - -I leaned toward her, and gently placed one arm about her neck; she -raised her dear face, from which joy and trust had banished every -indication of caution and reserve, my lips sought hers, when suddenly -we heard a most unearthly, discordant shriek, which presently -separated into two, each of which prolonged itself indefinitely. The -horses started, and Alice—blessed be all frights now, henceforth and -forevermore!—clung tightly to me. The sounds seemed to be approaching -us, and were accompanied by a lively rattling noise, that seemed to -be made by something wooden. Suddenly, as we approached a bend in -the road, I saw my youngest nephew appear from some unknown space, -describe a parabolic curve in the air, ricochet slightly from an earthy -protuberance in the road, and make a final stop in the gutter. At the -same time, there appeared from behind the bend, the goat, then the -carriage dragging on one side, and, lastly, the boy Budge, grasping -tightly the back of the carriage body, and howling frightfully. A -direct collision between the carriage and a stone caused Budge to loose -his hold, while the goat, after taking in the scene, trotted leisurely -off, and disappeared in a road leading to the house of his late owner. - -“Budge,” I shouted, “stop that bawling and come here! Where’s Mike?” - -“He—boo—hoo—went to—boo—light—his—boo—hoo—hoo—pipe, an’ I just let -the—boo—hoo—whip go against to the goat, an’ he scattooed.” - -“Nashty old goat scaddooed,” said Toddie, in corroboration. - -“Well, walk right home, and tell Maggie to wash and dress you,” said I. - -“O Harry,” pleaded Alice, “after they’ve been in such danger! Come -here to your own Aunt Alice, Budgie, dear,—and you, too, Toddie,—you -know you said we could pick the boys up on the road, Harry. There, -there—don’t cry—let me wipe the ugly old dirt off you, and kiss the -face, and make it well.” - -“Alice,” I protested,” don’t let those dirty boys clamber all over you -in that way.” - -“Silence, sir,” said she, with mock dignity, “who gave me my lover, I -should like to ask?” - -So we drove up to the boarding-house with the air of people who had -been devoting themselves to a couple of very disreputable children, -and I drove swiftly away again, lest the children should dispel the -illusion. We soon met Mike, running. The moment he recognized us, he -shouted: - -“Ah, ye little dhivils,—beggin’ yer pardon, Masther Harry, an’ thankin’ -the Howly Mither that their good-for-nothin’ little bones ain’t broke -to bits. Av they saw a hippypottymus hitched to Pharaoh’s chariot -they’d think ’emselves jist the byes to take the bossin’ av it, the -spalpeens!” - -[Illustration: THE GOAT, THE CARRIAGE AND THE BOYS] - -But no number of ordinary hippopotami and chariots could have -disturbed the heavenly tranquillity of my mind on this most glorious -of evenings. Even a subtle sense of the fitness of things seemed to -overshadow my nephews. Perhaps the touch of my enchantress did it; -perhaps it came only from the natural relapse from great excitement; -but no matter what the reason was, the fact remains that for the rest -of the evening two very dirty suits of clothes held two children who -gave one some idea of how the denizens of Paradise might seem and -act. They even ate their suppers without indulging in any of the -repulsive ways of which they had so large an assortment, and they did -not surreptitiously remove from the table any fragments of bread and -butter to leave on the piano, in the card-basket, and other places -inappropriate to the reception of such varieties of abandoned property. -They demanded a song after supper, but when I sang, “Drink to me only -with Thine Eyes,” and “Thou, Thou, Reign’st in this Bosom,” they stood -by with silent tongues and appreciative eyes. When they went to bed, I -accompanied them by special invitation, but they showed no disposition -to engage in the usual bedtime frolic and miniature pandemonium. Budge, -when in bed, closed his eyes, folded his hands and prayed:— - -“Dear Lord, bless papa an’ mamma, an’ Toddie, an’ Uncle Harry, an’ -everybody else; yes, an’ bless just lots that lovely, lovely lady that -comforted me after the goat was bad to me, an’ let her comfort me lots -of times, for Christ’s sake, Amen.” - -And Toddie wriggled, twisted, breathed heavily, threw his head back, -and prayed:— - -“Dee Lord, don’t let dat old goat fro me into de gutter on my head -aden, an’ let Ocken Hawwy an’ ze pitty lady be dere netst time I dets -hurted.” - -Then the good-night salutations were exchanged, and I left the little -darlings and enjoyed communion with my own thoughts, which were as -peaceful and ecstatic as if the world contained no white goods houses, -no doubtful customers, no business competition, no politics, gold -rooms, stock-boards, doubtful banks, political scandals, personal -iniquity nor anything which would prevent a short vacation from lasting -through a long lifetime. - -The next morning would have struck terror to the heart of any one but -a newly accepted lover. Rain was falling fast, and in that steady, -industrious manner which seemed to assert an intention to stick closely -to business for the whole day. The sky was covered by one impenetrable, -leaden cloud, water stood in pools in the streets which were soft -with dust a few hours before; the flowers all hung their heads, like -vagabonds who had been awake all night and were ashamed to face the -daylight. Even the chickens stood about in dejected attitudes, and -stray roosters from other poultry yards found refuge in Tom’s coop, -without first being subjected to a trial of strength and skill by Tom’s -gamecock. - -But no man in my condition of mind could be easily depressed by bad -weather. I would rather have been able to drive about under a clear -sky, or lounge under the trees, or walk to the post-office in the -afternoon by the road which passed directly in front of Mrs. Clarkson’s -boarding-house; but man should not live for himself alone. In the room -next mine, were slumbering two wee people to whom I owed a great deal, -and who would mourn bitterly when they saw the condition of the skies -and ground—I would devote myself to the task of making _them_ so happy -that they would forget the absence of sunshine out of doors—I would sit -by their bedside and have a story ready for them the moment they awoke, -and put them in such a good humor that they could laugh, with me, at -cloud and rain. - -I began at once to construct a story for their especial benefit; the -scene was to be a country residence on a rainy day, and the actors -two little boys who should become uproariously jolly in spite of the -weather. Like most people not used to story-making, my progress was -not very rapid; in fact, I had got no farther than the plot indicated -above when an angry snarl came from the children’s room. - -“What’s the matter, Budge?” I shouted, dressing myself as rapidly as -possible. - -“Ow—oo—ya—ng—um—boo—gaa!” was the somewhat complicated response. - -“What did you say, Budge?” - -“Didn’t say noffin’.” - -“Oh—that’s what I thought.” - -“_Didn’t_ thought.” - -“Budge,—Budge,—be good.” - -“Don’t _want_ to be good—_ya_—A—A!” - -“Let’s have some fun, Budge—don’t you want to frolic?” - -“No; I don’t think frolics is nice.” - -“Don’t you want some candy, Budge?” - -“No—you ain’t _got_ no candy, I bleeve.” - -“Well, you sha’n’t have any, if you don’t stop being so cross.” - -The only reply to this was a mighty and audible rustling of the bedding -in the boys’ room, followed by a sound strongly resembling that caused -by a slap; then came a prolonged wail, resembling that of an ungreased -wagon wheel. - -“What’s the matter, Toddie?” - -“Budge s’apped me—ah—h—h—h!” - -“What made you slap your brother, Budge?” - -“I _didn’t_.” - -“You _did_!” screamed Toddie. - -“I tell you I didn’t—you’re a naughty, bad boy to tell such lies, -Toddie.” - -“What _did_ you do, Budge?” I asked. - -“Why—why—I was—I was turnin’ over in bed, an’ my hand was out, an’ it -tumbled against to Toddie—that’s what.” - -By this time I was dressed and in the boys’ room. Both my nephews were -sitting up in bed, Budge looking as sullen as an old jailbird, and -Toddie with tears streaming all over his face. - -“Boys,” said I, “don’t be angry with each other—it isn’t right. What do -you suppose the Lord thinks, when He sees you so cross to each other?” - -“He don’t think noffin’,” said Budge; “you don’t think He can look -through a black sky like that, do you?” - -“He can look anywhere, Budge, and He feels very unhappy when He sees -little brothers angry with each other.” - -“Well, I feel unhappy, too—I wish there wasn’t never no old rain, nor -noffin’.” - -“Then what would plants and flowers do for a drink and where would -rivers come from for you to go sailing on?” - -“An’ wawtoo to mate mud-pies,” added Toddie. “You’s a naughty boy, -Budgie”; and here Toddie’s tears began to flow afresh. - -“I _ain’t_ a bad boy, an’ I don’t want no old rain nohow, an’ that’s -all about it. An’ I don’t want to get up, an’ Maggie must bring me up -my breakfast in bed.” - -“Boo—hoo—oo,” wept Toddie, “wants my brepspup in bed too.” - -“Boys,” said I, “now listen. You can’t have any breakfast at all, -unless you are up and dressed by the time the bell rings. The -rising-bell rang some time ago. Now dress like good boys, and you shall -have some breakfast, and then you’ll feel a great deal nicer, and then -Uncle Harry will play with you and tell you stories all day long.” - -Budge crept reluctantly out of bed and caught up one of his stockings, -while Toddie again began to cry. - -[Illustration: “AN’ WAWTOO TO MATE MUD-PIES”] - -“Toddie!” I shouted, “stop that dreadful racket, and dress yourself! -What are you crying for?” - -“Well, I feelsh bad.” - -“Well, dress yourself, and you’ll feel better.” - -“Wantsh _you_ to djesh me.” - -“Bring me your clothes, then—quick!” - -Again the tears flowed copiously. “Don’t _want_ to bring ’em,” said -Toddie. - -“Then come here!” I shouted, dragging him across the room and snatching -up his tiny articles of apparel. I had dressed no small children since -I was rather a small boy myself, and Toddies clothing confused me -somewhat. I finally got something on him, when a contemptuous laugh -from Budge interrupted me. - -“How you goin’ to put his shirt on under them things?” queried my -oldest nephew. - -“Budge,” I retorted, “how are you going to get any breakfast if you -don’t put on something besides that stocking?” - -The young man’s countenance fell, and just then the breakfast-bell -rang. Budge raised a blank face, hurried to the head of the stairs and -shouted:— - -“Maggie?” - -“What is it, Budge?” - -“Was—was that the rising-bell or the breakfast-bell?” - -”’Twas the breakfast-bell.” - -There was dead silence for a moment, and then Budge shouted:— - -“Well, we’ll call that the risin’-bell. You can ring another bell -for breakfast pretty soon, when I get dressed.” Then this volunteer -adjuster of household affairs came calmly back and commenced dressing -in good earnest, while I labored along with Toddie’s wardrobe. - -“Where’s the button-hook, Budge?” said I. - -“It’s—I—oh—um—I put it—say, Tod, what did you do with the button-hook -yesterday?” - -“Didn’t hazh no button-hook,” asserted Toddie. - -“Yes, you did; don’t you ’member how we was a playin’ draw teef, an’ -the doctor’s dog had the toofache, and I was pullin’ his teef with the -button-hook an’ you was my little boy, an’ I gived the toof-puller to -you to hold for me? Where did you put it?” - -“_I’d_ no,” replied Toddie, putting his hand in his pocket and bringing -out a sickly-looking toad. - -“Feel again,” said I, throwing the toad out of the window, where it -was followed by an agonized shriek from Toddie. Again he felt, and his -search was rewarded by the tension-screw of Helen’s sewing-machine. -Then I attempted some research myself, and speedily found my fingers -adhering to something of a sticky consistency. I quickly withdrew my -hand, exclaiming:— - -“What nasty stuff _have_ you got in your pocket, Toddie?” - -”’Tain’t nashty ’tuff—it’s byead an’ lasses, an’ it’s nice, an’ Budge -an’ me hazh little tea parties in de kicken-coop, an’ we eats it, an’ -its _dovely_.” - -All this was lucid and disgusting, but utterly unproductive of -button-hooks, and meanwhile the breakfast was growing cold. I succeeded -in buttoning Toddie’s shoes with my fingers, splitting most of my nails -in the operation. I had been too busily engaged with Toddie to pay any -attention to Budge, who I now found about half dressed and trying to -catch flies on the window pane. - -Snatching Toddie, I started for the dining-room, when Budge remarked -reprovingly: - -“Uncle Harry, _you_ wasn’t dressed when the bell rang, and _you_ -oughtn’t to have any breakfast.” - -True enough—I was minus collar, cravat, and coat. Hurrying these on, -and starting again, I was once more arrested:— - -“Uncle Harry, must I brush my teeth this morning?” - -“No—hurry up—come down without doing anything more, if you like, but -_come_—it’ll be dinner-time before we get breakfast.” - -Then that imp was moved, for the first time that morning to something -like good-nature, and he exclaimed with a giggle:— - -“My! What big stomachs we’d have when we got done, wouldn’t we?” - -At the breakfast table Toddie wept again, because I insisted on -beginning operations before Budge came. Then neither boy knew exactly -what he wanted. Then Budge managed to upset the contents of his plate -into his lap, and while I was helping him to clear away the débris, -Toddie improved the opportunity to pour his milk upon his fish and put -several spoonfuls of oatmeal porridge into my coffee-cup. I made an -early excuse to leave the table and turn the children over to Maggie. -I felt as tired as if I had done a hard day’s work, and was somewhat -appalled at realizing that the day had barely begun. I lit a cigar and -sat down to Helen’s piano. I am not a musician, but even the chords of -a hand-organ would have seemed sweet music to me on that morning. The -music-book nearest to my hand was a church hymn-book, and the first -air my eye struck was “Greenville.” I lived once in a town, where, -on a single day, a peddler disposed of thirty-eight accordions, each -with an instruction-book in which this same air, under its original -name, was the only air. For years after, a single bar of this air -awakened the most melancholy reflections in my mind, but now I forgave -all my musical tormentors as the familiar strains came comfortingly -from the piano-keys. But suddenly I heard an accompaniment—a sort of -reedy sound—and looking round, I saw Toddie again in tears. I stopped -abruptly and asked:— - -“What’s the matter _now_, Toddie?” - -“Don’t want dat old tune; wantsh dancin’ tune, so I can dance.” - -[Illustration: “WANTSH DANCIN’ TUNE”] - -I promptly played “Yankee Doodle,” and Toddie began to trot around the -room with the expression of a man who intended to do his whole duty. -Then Budge appeared, hugging a bound volume of “St. Nicholas.” The -moment that Toddie espied this he stopped dancing and devoted himself -anew to the task of weeping. - -“Toddie!” I shouted, springing from the piano stool, “what do you mean -by crying at everything? I shall have to put you to bed again if you’re -going to be such a baby.” - -“That’s the way he _always_ does, rainy days,” exclaimed Budge. - -“Wantsh to see the whay-al what fwallowed Djonah,” sobbed Toddie. - -“Can’t you demand something that’s within the range of possibility, -Toddie?” I mildly asked. - -“The whale Toddie means is in this big red book; I’ll find it for you,” -said Budge, turning over the leaves. - -Suddenly a rejoicing squeal from Toddie announced that leviathan had -been found, and I hastened to gaze. He was certainly a dreadful-looking -animal, but he had an enormous mouth, which Toddie caressed with his -pudgy little hand, and kissed with tenderness, murmuring as he did so:— - -“_Dee_ old whay-al, I loves you. Is Djonah all goneded out of you -’tomach, whay-al? I finks ’twas weal mean in Djonah to get froed up -when you hadn’t noffin’ else to eat, _poor_ old whay-al.” - -“Of _course_ Jonah’s gone,” said Budge, “he went to heaven long -ago—pretty soon after he went to Nineveh an’ done what the Lord told -him to do. Now swing us, Uncle Harry.” - -The swing was on the piazza under cover from the rain; so I obeyed. -Both boys fought for the right to swing first, and when I decided in -favor of Budge, Toddie went off weeping, and declaring that he would -look at his dear whay-al anyhow. A moment later his wail changed to a -piercing shriek; and, running to his assistance, I saw him holding one -finger tenderly and trampling on a wasp. - -“What’s the matter, Toddie?” - -“Oo—oo—ee—ee—ee—_ee_—I putted my finger on a waps, and—oo—oo—the nasty -old waps—oo—bited me. An’ I don’t like wapses a bit, but I likes -whay-als—oo—ee—ee.” - -A happy thought struck me. “Why don’t you boys make believe that big -packing-box in your play-room is a whale?” said I. - -A compound shriek of delight followed the suggestion, and both boys -scrambled upstairs, leaving me a free man again. I looked remorsefully -at the tableful of books which I had brought to read, and had not -looked at for a week. Even now my remorse did not move me to open -them—I found myself, instead, attracted toward Tom’s library, and -conning the titles of novels and volumes of poems. My eye was caught -by “Initials,” a love story which I had always avoided because I had -heard impressionable young ladies rave about it; but now I picked it up -and dropped into an easy chair. Suddenly I heard Mike, the coachman, -shouting:— - -“Go ’way from there, will ye? Ah, ye little spalpeen, it’s good for ye -that yer fahder don’t see ye perched up dhere. Go ’way from dhat, or -I’ll be tellin’ yer uncle.” - -“Don’t care for nashty old uncle,” piped Toddie’s voice. - -I laid down my book with a sigh, and went into the garden. Mike saw me -and shouted: - -“Mister Burthon, will you look dhere? Did ye’s ever see the loike av -dhat bye?” - -Looking up at the play-room window, a long, narrow sort of loop-hole -in a Gothic gable, I beheld my youngest nephew standing upright on the -sill. - -“Toddie, go in—quick!” I shouted, hurrying under the window to catch -him in case he fell outward. - -“I tan’t!” squealed Toddie. - -“Mike, run upstairs and snatch him in! Toddie, go in, I tell you!” - -“Tell you I _tan’t_ doe in,” repeated Toddie. “_Ze_ bid bots ish ze -whay-al, an’ I’ze Djonah, an’ ze whay-al’s froed me up, an’ I’ze dot to -’tay up here else ze whay-al ’ill fwallow me aden.” - -“I won’t _let_ him swallow you. Get in now—hurry,” said I. - -“Will you give him a penny not to fwallow me no more?” queried Toddie. - -“Yes—a whole lot of pennies.” - -“Aw wight. Whay-al, don’t you fwallow me no more, an’ zen my Ocken -Hawwy div you whole lots of pennies. You must be weal dood whay-al now, -an’ then I buys you some tandy wif your pennies, an’——” - -Just then two great hands seized Toddie’s frock in front, and he -disappeared with a howl, while I, with the first feeling of faintness I -had ever experienced, went in search of hammer, nails, and some strips -of board, to nail on the outside of the window-frame. But boards could -not be found, so I went up to the play-room and began to knock a piece -or two off the box which had done duty as whale. A pitiful scream from -Toddie caused me to stop. - -“You’re hurtin’ my dee old whay-al; you’s breakin’ his ’tomach all -open—you’s a baddy man—’_top_ hurtin’ my whay-al, ee—ee—ee!” cried my -nephew. - -“I’m not hurting him, Toddie,” said I. “I’m making his mouth bigger, -so he can swallow you easier.” - -A bright thought came into Toddie’s face and shone through his tears. -“Then he can fwallow Budgie too, an’ there’ll be two Djonahs—ha—ha—ha! -Make his mouf so big he can fwallow Mike, an’ zen mate it ’ittle aden, -so Mike tan’t det _out_; nashty old Mike!” - -[Illustration: TWO GREAT HANDS SEIZED TODDIE] - -I explained that Mike would not come upstairs again, so I was permitted -to depart after securing the window. - -Again I settled myself with book and cigar; there was at least for me -the extra enjoyment that comes from the sense of pleasure earned by -honest toil. Pretty soon Budge entered the room. I affected not to -notice him, but he was not in the least abashed by my neglect. - -“Uncle Harry,” said he, throwing himself in my lap, between my book and -me, “I don’t feel a bit nice.” - -“What’s the matter, old fellow?” I asked. Until he spoke I could have -boxed his ears with great satisfaction to myself; but there is so much -genuine feeling in whatever Budge says that he commands respect. - -“Oh, I’m tired of playin’ with Toddie, an’ I feel lonesome. Won’t you -tell me a story?” - -“Then what’ll poor Toddie do, Budge?” - -“Oh, he won’t mind—he’s got a dead mouse to be Jonah now, so I don’t -have no fun at all. Won’t you tell me a story?” - -“Which one?” - -“Tell me one that I never heard before at all.” - -“Well, let’s see; I guess I’ll tell——” - -“Ah—ah—ah—ah—ee—ee—ee!” sounded afar off, but fatefully. It came -nearer—it came down the stairway and into the library, accompanied by -Toddie, who, on spying me, dropped his inarticulate utterance, held up -both hands, and exclaimed:— - -“Djonah bwoke he tay-al!” - -[Illustration: “HE’S GOT A DEAD MOUSE TO BE JONAH NOW”] - -True enough; in one hand Toddie held the body of a mouse, and in the -other that animal’s caudal appendage; there was also perceptible, -though not by the sense of sight, an objectionable odor in the room. - -“Toddie,” said I, “go throw Jonah into the chicken coop, and I’ll give -you some candy.” - -“Me too,” shouted Budge, ”’cos I found the mouse for him.” - -I made both boys happy with candy, exacted a pledge not to go out in -the rain, and then, turning them loose on the piazza, returned to my -book. I had read, perhaps, half a dozen pages, when there arose and -swelled rapidly in volume a scream from Toddie. Madly determined to put -both boys into chairs, tie them, and clap adhesive plaster over their -mouths, I rushed out upon the piazza. - -“Budgie tried to eat my candy,” complained Toddie. - -“I didn’t,” said Budge. - -“What _did_ you do?” I demanded. - -“I didn’t bite it at all—I only wanted to see how it would feel between -my teeth—that’s all.” - -I felt the corners of my mouth breaking down, and hurried back to the -library, where I spent a quiet quarter of an hour in pondering over -the demoralizing influence exerted upon principle by a sense of the -ludicrous. For some time afterward the boys got along without doing -anything worse than make a dreadful noise, which caused me to resolve -to find some method of deadening piazza floors if _I_ ever owned a -house in the country. In the occasional intervals of comparative quiet, -I caught snatches of very funny conversation. The boys had coined a -great many words whose meaning was evident enough, but I wondered -greatly why Tom and Helen had never taught them the proper substitutes. - -Among others was the word “deader,” whose meaning I could not imagine. -Budge shouted:— - -“O Tod! there comes a deader! See where all them things like rooster’s -tails are a-shakin’?—Well, there’s a deader under them.” - -“Datsh funny,” remarked Toddie. - -“An’ see all the peoples a-comin’ along,” continued Budge, “_they_ know -’bout the deader, an’ they’re goin’ to see it fixed. Here it comes. -Hello, deader!” - -“Hay-oh, deader!” echoed Toddie. - -What _could_ “deader” mean? - -“Oh, here it is right in front of us,” cried Budge, “and _ain’t_ there -lots of people? An’ two horses to pull the deader—_some_ deaders has -only one.” - -My curiosity was too much for my weariness; I went to the front window, -and, peering through, saw—a funeral procession! In a second I was on -the piazza, with my hands on the children’s collars; a second later two -small boys were on the floor of the hall, the front door was closed, -and two determined hands covered two threatening little mouths. - -When the procession had fairly passed the house, I released the boys -and heard two prolonged howls for my pains. Then I asked Budge if he -wasn’t ashamed to talk that way when a funeral was passing. - -“_’Twasn’t_ a funeral,” said he, ”’Twas only a deader, an’ deaders -can’t hear noffin’.” - -“But the people in the carriages could,” said I. - -“Well,” said he, “they were so glad that the other part of the deader -had gone to heaven that they didn’t care _what_ I said. Everbody’s glad -when the other part of deaders go to heaven. Papa told me he was glad -dear little Phillie was in heaven, an’ I _was_, but I do want to see -him again awful.” - -“Wantsh to shee Phillie aden awfoo,” said Toddie, as I kissed Budge -and hurried off to the library, unfit just then to administer further -instruction or reproof. Of one thing I was very certain—I wished the -rain would cease falling, so the children could go out of doors, and -I could get a little rest, and freedom from responsibility. But the -skies showed no sign of being emptied, the boys were snarling on the -stairway, and I was losing my temper quite rapidly. - -Suddenly I bethought me of one of the delights of my own childish -days—the making of scrap-books. One of Tom’s library drawers held -a great many _Lady’s Journals_. Of course Helen meant to have them -bound, but I could easily re-purchase the numbers for her; they would -cost two or three dollars, but peace was cheap at that price. On a -high shelf in the play-room I had seen some supplementary volumes of -“Mercantile Agency” reports, which would in time reach the rag-bag; -there was a bottle of mucilage in the library desk, and the children -owned an old pair of scissors. Within five minutes I had located two -happy children on the bath-room floor, taught them to cut out pictures -(which operation I quickly found they understood as well as I did) -and to paste them into the extemporized scrap-book. Then I left them, -recalling something from Newman Hall’s address on the “Dignity of -Labor.” Why hadn’t I thought before of showing my nephews some way of -occupying their minds and hands? Who could blame the helpless little -things for following every prompting of their unguided minds? Had I not -a hundred times been told, when sent to the woodpile or the weediest -part of the garden in my youthful days, that - - “Satan finds some mischief still - For idle hands to do?” - -Never again would I blame the children for being mischievous when their -minds were neglected. - -I spent a peaceful, pleasant hour over my novel, when I felt that a -fresh cigar would be acceptable. Going upstairs in search of one, I -found that Budge had filled the bath-tub with water, and was sailing -boats, that is, hair-brushes. - -Even this seemed too mild an offense to call for a rebuke, so I passed -on without disturbing him, and went to my own room. I heard Toddie’s -voice, and having heard from my sister that Toddie’s conversations with -himself were worth listening to, I paused outside the door. I heard -Toddie softly murmur:— - -“Zere, pitty yady, ’tay _zere_. Now, ’ittle boy, I put you wif your -mudder, ’tause mudders like zere ’ittle boys wif zem. An’ you s’all -have ’ittle sister tudder side of you,—zere. Now, ’ittle boy’s an’ -’ittle girl’s mudder, don’t you feel happy?—isn’t I awfoo good to give -you your ’ittle tsilderns? You ought to say, ‘Fank you, Toddie,—you’s a -nice, fweet ’ittle djentleman.’” - -I peered cautiously—then I entered the room hastily. I didn’t -say anything for a moment, for it was impossible to do justice -impromptu, to the subject. Toddie had a progressive mind—if pictorial -ornamentation was good for old books, why should not similar -ornamentation be extended to objects more likely to be seen? Such may -not have been Toddie’s line of thought, but his recent operations -warranted such a supposition. He had cut out a number of pictures, and -pasted them upon the wall of my room—my sister’s darling room, with its -walls tinted exquisitely in pink. As a member of a hanging committee, -Toddie would hardly have satisfied taller people, but he had arranged -the pictures quite regularly, at about the height of his own eyes, had -favored no one artist more than another, and had hung indiscriminately -figure pieces, landscapes, and genre pictures. The temporary break of -wall-line occasioned by the door communicating with his own room he had -overcome by closing the door and carrying a line of pictures across -its lower panels. Occasionally a picture fell off the wall, but the -mucilage remained faithful, and glistened with its fervor of devotion. -And yet so untouched was I by this artistic display, that when I -found strength to shout, “Toddie,” it was in a tone which caused this -industrious amateur decorator to start violently, and drop his mucilage -bottle, open end first, upon the carpet. - -“What will mamma say?” I asked. - -Toddie gazed, first blankly, and then inquiringly, into my face; -finding no answer or sympathy there he burst into tears, and replied:— - -“I dunno.” - -The ringing of the lunch bell changed Toddie from a tearful cherub into -a very practical, business-like boy, and shouting, “Come on, Budge!” he -hurried downstairs, while I tormented myself with wonder as to how I -could best and most quickly undo the mischief Toddie had done. - -I will concede to my nephews the credit of keeping reasonably quiet -during meals; their tongues, doubtless, longed to be active in both the -principal capacities of those useful members, but they had no doubt -as to how to choose between silence and hunger. The result was a -reasonably comfortable half-hour. Just as I began to cut a melon, Budge -broke the silence by exclaiming:— - -“O Uncle Harry, we haven’t been out to see the goat to-day!” - -“Budge,” I replied, “I’ll carry you out there under an umbrella after -lunch, and you may play with that goat all the afternoon, if you like.” - -“Oh, won’t that be nice?” exclaimed Budge. “The poor goat! he’ll think -I don’t love him a bit, ’cause I haven’t been to see him to-day. Does -goats go to heaven when they die, Uncle Harry?” - -“Guess not—they’d make trouble in the golden streets I’m afraid.” - -“Oh, dear! then Phillie can’t see my goat. I’m so awful sorry,” said -Budge. - -“_I_ can see your goat, Budgie,” suggested Toddie. - -“Huh!” said Budge, very contemptuously. “_You_ ain’t dead.” - -“Well, Izhe _goin’_ to be dead some day, an’ zen your nashty old -goat sha’n’t see me a bit—see how he like _zat_.” And Toddie made a -ferocious attack on a slice of melon nearly as large as himself. - -After lunch, Toddie was sent to his room to take his afternoon nap, -and Budge went to the barn on my shoulders. I gave Mike a dollar, with -instructions to keep Budge in sight, to keep him from teasing the -goat, and to prevent his being impaled or butted. Then I stretched -myself on a lounge and wondered whether only half a day of daylight -had elapsed since I and the most adorable woman in the world had been -so happy together. How much happier I would be when next I met her! -The very torments of this rainy day would make my joy seem all the -dearer and more intense. I dreamed happily for a few moments with my -eyes open, and then somehow they closed, without my knowledge. What -put into my mind the wreck scene from the play of “David Copperfield,” -I don’t know; but there it came, and in my dream I was sitting in the -balcony at Booth’s, and taking a proper interest in the scene, when -it occurred to me that the thunder had less of reverberation and more -woodenness than good stage thunder should have. The mental exertion -I underwent on this subject disturbed the course of my nap, but as -wakefulness returned, the sound of the poorly simulated thunder did -not cease; on the contrary, it was just as noisy, and more hopelessly -a counterfeit than ever. What could the sound be? I stepped through -the window to the piazza, and the sound was directly over my head. I -sprang down the terrace and out upon the lawn, looked up, and beheld -my youngest nephew strutting back and forth on the tin roof of the -piazza, holding over his head a ragged old parasol. I roared:—“Go in, -Toddie—this instant!” - -The sound of my voice startled the young man so severely that he lost -his footing, fell, and began to roll toward the edge and to scream, -both operations being performed with great rapidity. I ran to catch him -as he fell, but the outer edge of the water trough was high enough to -arrest his progress, though it had no effect in reducing the volume of -his howls. - -“Toddie,” I shouted, “lie perfectly still until uncle can get to you! -Do you hear?” - -“Ess, but don’t want to lie ’till,” came in reply from the roof. - -”’Tan’t shee noffin’ but sky an’ wain.” - -[Illustration: HOLDING OVER HIS HEAD A RAGGED PARASOL] - -“Lie still,” I reiterated, “or I’ll whip you dreadfully.” Then I dashed -upstairs, removed my shoes, climbed out and rescued Toddie, shook him -soundly, and then shook myself. - -“I wash only djust pyayin mamma, an’ walkin’ in ze wain wif an -umbayalla,” Toddie explained. - -I threw him upon his bed and departed. It was plain that neither logic, -threats, nor the presence of danger could keep this dreadful child -from doing whatever he chose; what other means of restraint could be -employed? Although not as religious a man as my good mother could -wish, I really wondered whether prayer, as a last resort, might not -be effective. For his good and my own peace, I would cheerfully have -read through the whole prayer-book. I could hardly have done it just -then, though, for Mike solicited an audience at the back door, and -reported that Budge had given the carriage sponge to the goat, put -handfuls of oats into the pump cylinder, pulled hairs out of the black -mare’s tail, and with a sharp nail drawn pictures on the enamel of the -carriage-body. Budge made no denial, but looked very much aggrieved, -and remarked that he couldn’t never be happy without somebody having -to go get bothered; and he wished there wasn’t nobody in the world -but organ-grinders and candy-store men. He followed me into the house, -flung himself into a chair, put on a look which I imagine Byron wore -before he was old enough to be malicious, and exclaimed:— - -“I don’t see what little boys was made for, anyhow; if ev’rybody gets -cross with them, an’ don’t let ’em do what they want to. I’ll bet when -I get to heaven, the Lord won’t be as ugly to me as Mike is,—an’ some -other folks, too. I wish I could die and be buried right away,—me an’ -the goat—an’ go to heaven, where we wouldn’t be scolded.” - -Poor little fellow! First I laughed inwardly at his idea of heaven, -and then I wondered whether my own was very different from it, or -any more creditable. I had no time to spend, however, even in pious -reflection. Budge was quite wet, his shoes were soaking, and he already -had an attack of catarrh; so I took him to his room and redressed him, -wondering all the while how much similar duties my own father had had -to do for me had shortened his life, and how with such a son as I was, -he lived as long as he did. The idea that I was in some slight degree -atoning for my early sins, so filled my thoughts that I did not at -first notice the absence of Toddie. When it _did_ become evident to me -that my youngest nephew was not in the bed in which I had placed him, -I went in search of him. He was in none of the chambers, but hearing -gentle murmurs issue from a long, light closet, I looked in and saw -Toddie sitting on the floor, and eating the cheese out of a mouse-trap. -A squeak of my boots betrayed me, and Toddie, equal to the emergency, -sprang to his feet and exclaimed:— - -“I didn’t hurt de ’ittle mousie one bittie; I just letted him out, and -he runded away.” - -[Illustration: “I DIDN’T HURT DE ’ITTLE MOUSIE”] - -And still it rained. Oh, for a single hour of sunlight, so that the -mud might be only damp dirt, and the children could play without -tormenting other people! But it was not to be; slowly, and by the aid -of songs, stories, an improvised menagerie, in which I personated -every animal, besides playing ostrich and armadillo, and with a great -many disagreements, the afternoon wore to its close, and my heart -slowly lightened. Only an hour or two more, and the children would be -in bed for the night, and then I would enjoy, in unutterable measure, -the peaceful hours which would be mine. Even now they were inclined to -behave themselves; they were tired and hungry, and stretched themselves -on the floor to await dinner. I embraced the opportunity to return -to my book, but I had hardly read a page, when a combined crash and -scream summoned me to the dining-room. On the floor lay Toddie, a great -many dishes, a roast leg of lamb, several ears of green corn, the -butter-dish and its contents, and several other misplaced edibles. One -thing was quite evident; the scalding contents of the gravy-dish had -been emptied on Toddie’s arm, and how severely the poor child might -be scalded I did not know. I hastily split open his sleeve from wrist -to shoulder, and found the skin very red; so, remembering my mother’s -favorite treatment for scalds and bums, I quickly spread the contents -of a dish of mashed potato on a clean handkerchief, and wound the whole -around Toddie’s arm as a poultice. Then I demanded an explanation. - -“I was only djust reatchin’ for a pieshe of bwed,” sobbed Toddie, “an’ -then the bad old tabo beginded to froe all its fings at me, an’ tumble -down bang.” - -He undoubtedly told the truth as far as he knew it; but reaching over -tables is a bad habit in small boys, especially when their mothers -cling to old-fashioned heirlooms of tables, which have folding leaves; -so I banished Toddie to his room, supperless, to think of what he had -done. With Budge alone, I had a comfortable dinner off the salvage from -the wreck caused by Toddie, and then I went upstairs to see if the -offender had repented. It was hard to tell, by sight, whether he had -or not, for his back was to me, as he flattened his nose against the -window, but I could see that my poultice was gone. - -“Where is what uncle put on your arm, Toddie?” I asked. - -“I ate it up,” said the truthful youth. - -“Did you eat the handkerchief, too?” - -“No; I froed nashty old handkerchief out the window—don’t want dirty -old handkerchiefs in my nice ’ittle room.” - -I was so glad that his burn had been slight that I forgave the -insult to my handkerchief, and called up Budge, so that I might at -once get both boys into bed, and emerge from the bondage in which I -had lived all day long. But the task was no easy one. Of course my -brother-in-law, Tom Lawrence, knows better than any other man the -necessities of his own children, but no children of mine shall ever -be taught so many methods of imposing upon parental good-nature. Their -program called for stories, songs, moral conversations, frolics, the -presentation of pennies, the dropping of the same, at long intervals, -into tin savings-banks, followed by a deafening shaking-up of both -banks; then a prayer must be offered, and no conventional one would be -tolerated; then the boys performed their own devotions, after which I -was allowed to depart with an interchange of “God bless yous.” As this -evening I left the room with their innocent benedictions sounding in my -ears, a sense of personal weakness, induced by the events of the day, -moved me to fervently respond “Amen!” - -[Illustration: A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS] - -Mothers of American boys, accept from me a tribute of respect, which -no words can fitly express—of wonder greater than any of the great -things of the world ever inspired—of adoration as earnest and devout -as the Catholic pays to the Virgin. In a single day, I, a strong man, -with nothing else to occupy my mind, am reduced to physical and mental -worthlessness by the necessities of two boys not overmischievous or -bad. And you—Heaven only knows how—have unbroken weeks, months, years, -yes, lifetimes of just such experiences, and with them the burden of -household cares, of physical ills and depressions, of mental anxieties -that pierce thy hearts with as many sorrows as grieved the Holy -Mother of old. Compared with thy endurance, that of the young man, -the athlete, is as weakness; the secret of thy nerves, wonderful even -in their weakness, is as great as that of the power of the winds. To -display decision, thy opportunities are more frequent than those of the -greatest statesmen; thy heroism laughs into insignificance that of -fort and field; thou art trained in a school of diplomacy such as the -most experienced court cannot furnish. Do scoffers say thou canst not -hold the reins of government? Easier is it to rule a band of savages -than to be the successful autocrat of thy little kingdom. Compared with -the ways of men, even thy failures are full of glory. Be thy faults -what they may, thy one great, mysterious, unapproachable success places -thee, in desert, far above warrior, ruler or priest. - -The foregoing soliloquy passed through my mind as I lay upon the bed -where I had thrown myself after leaving the children’s room. Whatever -else attempted to affect me mentally, found my mind a blank until the -next morning, when I awoke to realize that I had dropped asleep just -where I fell, and that I had spent nearly twelve hours lying across a -bed in an uncomfortable position, and without removing my daily attire. -My next impression was that quite a bulky letter had been pushed under -my chamber-door. Could it be that my darling—I hastily seized the -envelope and found it addressed in my sister’s writing, and promising a -more voluminous letter than that lady had ever before honored me with. -I opened it, dropping an enclosure which, doubtless, was a list of -necessities which I would please pack, etc. and read as follows:— - - JULY 1, 1875. - - “MY DEAR OLD BROTHER:—_Wouldn’t_ I like to give you the warmest of - sisterly hugs? I can’t believe it, and yet I am in ecstasies over it. - To think that _you_ should have got that perfection of a girl, who - has declined so many great catches—_you_, my sober, business-like, - unromantic big brother—oh, it’s too wonderful! But now I think of it, - you are just the people for each other. I’d like to say that it’s just - what I’d always longed for, and I invited you to Hillcrest to bring - it about; but the trouble with such a story would be that it wouldn’t - have a word of truth in it. You always _did_ have a faculty for doing - just what you pleased, and what nobody ever expected you to do, but - now you’ve exceeded yourself. - - “And to think that my little darlings played an important part in - bringing it all about! I shall take the credit of _that_, for if it - hadn’t been for me who would have helped you, sir? I shall expect you - to remember both of them handsomely at Christmas. - - “I don’t believe I am guilty of breach of confidence in sending the - enclosed, which I have just received from my sister-in-law that is to - be. It will tell you some causes of your success of which you, with - a man’s conceit, haven’t imagined for a minute, and it will tell you, - too, of a maiden’s first and natural fear under such circumstances—a - fear which I know you, with your honest, generous heart, will hasten - to dispel. As you’re a man, you’re quite likely to be too stupid to - read what’s written between the lines; so I’d better tell you that - Alice’s fear is that in letting herself go so easily, she may have - seemed to lack proper reserve and self-respect. You don’t need to be - told that no woman alive has more of these very qualities. - - “Bless your dear old heart, Harry,—you deserve to be shaken to death - if you’re not the happiest man alive. I _must_ hurry home and see you - both with my own eyes, and learn to believe that all this wonderful, - glorious thing has come to pass. Give Alice a sister’s kiss for me - (if you know how to give more than one kind), and give my cherubs a - hundred each from the mother that wants to see them so much. - - “With love and congratulations, - - “HELEN.” - -The other letter, which I opened with considerable reverence and more -delight, ran as follows: - - “HILLCREST, June 29, 1875. - - “DEAR FRIEND HELEN:—Something has happened and I am very happy, but I - am more than a little troubled over it, too, and, as you are one of - the persons nearly concerned, I am going to confess to you as soon as - possible. Harry—your brother, I mean—will be sure to tell you very - soon, if he hasn’t done so already, and I want to make all possible - haste to solemnly assure you that I hadn’t the slightest idea of such - a thing coming to pass, and I didn’t do the slightest thing to bring - it about. - - “I always thought your brother was a splendid fellow, and have never - been afraid to express my mind about him, when there was no one but - girls to listen. But out here, I have somehow learned to admire him - more than ever. I cheerfully acquit _him_ of intentionally doing - anything to create a favorable impression; if his several appearances - before me _have_ been studied, he is certainly the most original being - I ever heard of. Your children are angels—you’ve told me so yourself, - and I’ve my own very distinct impression on the subject, but they - _don’t_ study to save their uncle’s appearance. The figures that - unfortunate man has cut several times—well, I won’t try to describe - them on paper, for fear he might some day see a scrap of it and take - offense. But he always seems to be patient with them, and devoted - to them, and I haven’t been able to keep from seeing that a man who - could be so lovable with thoughtless and unreasonable children must be - perfectly adorable to the woman he loved, if she were a woman at all. - Still, I hadn’t the faintest idea that I would be the fortunate woman. - At last _the_ day came, but I was in blissful ignorance of what was to - happen. Your little Charley hurt himself, and insisted upon Har—your - brother singing an odd song to him; and just when the young gentleman - was doing the elegant to a dozen of us ladies at once, too! If you - _could_ have seen his face!—it was too funny, until he got over his - annoyance, and began to feel properly sorry for the little fellow—then - he seemed all at once to be all tenderness and heart, and I _did_ wish - for a moment that conventionalities didn’t exist, and I might tell - him that he was a model. Then your youngest playfully spilt a plate - of soup on my dress (don’t be worried—’twas only a common muslin, and - ’twill wash). Of course I had to change it and, as I retired, the - happy thought struck me that I’d make so elaborate a toilet that I - wouldn’t finish in time to join the other ladies for the usual evening - walk; consequence, I would have a chance to monopolize a gentleman for - half an hour or more—a chance which, no thanks to the gentlemen who - don’t come to Hillcrest, no lady here has had this season. Every time - I peered through the blinds to see if the other girls had started, I - could see _him_ looking so distressed, and brooding over those two - children as if he were their mother, and he seemed _so_ good. He - seemed pleased to see _me_ when I appeared, and coming from such a - man the implied compliment was fully appreciated; everything he said - to me seemed a little more worth hearing than if it had come from any - man not so good. Then, suddenly, your eldest insisted on retailing the - result of a conversation he had had with his uncle, and the upshot was - that Harry declared himself; he wasn’t romantic a bit, but he was real - straightforward and manly, while I was so completely taken back that - I couldn’t think of a thing to say. Then the impudent fellow kissed - me, and I lost my tongue worse than ever. If I had known anything of - his feelings beforehand, I should have been prepared to behave more - properly; but—O Helen, I’m so glad I _didn’t_ know! I should be the - happiest being that ever lived, if I wasn’t afraid that you or your - husband might think that I had given myself away too hastily. As to - other people, we will see that they don’t know a word about it for - months to come. - - “_Do_ write that I was not to blame, and make believe accept me as a - sister, because I _can’t_ offer to give Harry up to any one else you - may have picked out for him. - - “Your sincere friend, - - “ALICE MAYTON.” - -[Illustration: I SHOUTED “HURRAH”.] - -Was there ever so delightful a reveille? All the boyishness in me -seemed suddenly to come to the surface, and instead of saying and -doing the decorous thing which novelists’ heroes do under similar -circumstances. I shouted “Hurrah!” and danced into the children’s room -so violently that Budge sat up in bed and regarded me with reproving -eyes, while Toddie burst into a happy laugh, and volunteered as a -partner in the dance. Then I realized that the rain was over, and the -sun was shining—I could take Alice out for another drive, and until -then the children could take care of themselves. I remembered suddenly, -and with a sharp pang, that my vacation was nearly at an end, and I -found myself consuming with impatience to know how much longer Alice -would remain at Hillcrest. It would be cruel to wish her in the city -before the end of August, yet I—— - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, “my papa says ’tisn’t nice for folks -to sit down an’ go to thinkin’ before they’ve brushed their hair -mornin’s—that’s what he tells _me_.” - -“I beg your pardon, Budge,” said I, springing up in some confusion; “I -was thinking over a matter of a great deal of importance.” - -“What was it—my goat?” - -“No—of course not. Don’t be silly, Budge.” - -“Well, I think about him a good deal, an’ I don’t think it’s silly -a bit. I hope he’ll go to heaven when he dies. Do angels have -goat-carriages, Uncle Harry?” - -“No, old fellow—they can go about without carriages.” - -“When I goesh to hebben,” said Toddie, rising in bed, “Izhe goin’ -to have lots of goat cawidjes an’ Izhe goin’ to tate all ze andjels -a-widen.” - -With many other bits of prophesy and celestial description I was -regaled as I completed my toilet, and I hurried out of doors for an -opportunity to think without disturbance. Strolling past the hen-yard, -I saw a meditative turtle, and, picking him up and shouting to my -nephews, I held the reptile up for their inspection. Their window -blinds flew open and a unanimous though not exactly harmonious “Oh!” -greeted my prize.” - -“Where did you get it, Uncle Harry?” asked Budge. - -“Down by the hen-coop.” - -Budge’s eyes opened wide; he seemed to devote a moment to profound -thought, and then he exclaimed:— - -“Why, I don’t see how the hens _could_ lay such a big thing—just put -him in your hat till I come down, will you?” - -I dropped the turtle into Budge’s wheelbarrow, and made a tour of the -flower-borders. The flowers, always full of suggestion to me, seemed -suddenly to have new charms and powers; they actually impelled me to -try to make rhymes,—me, a steady white-goods salesman! The impulse was -too strong to be resisted, though I must admit that the results were -pitifully meager:— - - “As radiant as that matchless rose - Which poet-artists fancy; - As fair as whitest lily-blows, - As modest as the pansy; - As pure as dew which hides within - Aurora’s sun-kissed chalice; - As tender as the primrose sweet— - All this, and more, is Alice.” - -In inflicting this fragment upon the reader I have not the faintest -idea that he can discover any merit in it; I quote it only that a -subsequent experience of mine may be more intelligible. When I had -composed these wretched lines I became conscious that I had neither -pencil nor paper wherewith to preserve them. Should I lose them—my -first self-constructed poem? Never! This was not the first time in -which I had found it necessary to preserve words by memory alone. So I -repeated my ridiculous lines over and over again, until the eloquent -feeling of which they were the graceless expression inspired me to -accompany my recital with gestures. Six—eight—ten—a dozen—twenty times -I repeated these lines, each time with additional emotion and gesture, -when a thin voice, very near me, remarked:— - -“Ocken Hawwy, you does djust as if you was swimmin’.” - -Turning, I beheld my nephew, Toddie—how long he had been behind me I -had no idea. He looked earnestly into my eyes, and then remarked:— - -“Ocken Hawwy, your faysh is wed, djust like a wosy-posy.” - -“Let’s go right in to breakfast, Toddie,” said I aloud, as I grumbled -to myself about the faculty of observation which Tom’s children seemed -to have. - -Immediately after breakfast I despatched Mike with a note to Alice, -informing her that I would be glad to drive her to the Falls in the -afternoon, calling for her at two. Then I placed myself unreservedly -at the disposal of the boys for the morning, it being distinctly -understood that they must not expect to see me between lunch and -dinner. I was first instructed to harness the goat, which order I -obeyed, and I afterward watched that grave animal as he drew my nephews -up and down the carriage-road, his countenance as demure as if he -had no idea of suddenly departing when my back should be turned. The -wheels of the goat-carriage uttered the most heart-rending noises I had -ever heard from ungreased axle; so I persuaded the boys to dismount, -and submit to the temporary unharnessing of the goat, while I should -lubricate the axles. Half an hour of dirty work sufficed, with such -assistance as I gained from juvenile advice, to accomplish the task -properly; then I put the horned steed into the shafts, Budge cracked -the whip, the carriage moved off without noise, and Toddie began to -weep bitterly. - -“Cawwidge is all bwoke,” said he; “_wheelsh don’t sing a bittie no -more_,” while Budge remarked:— - -“I think the carriage sounds kind o’ lonesome now, don’t you, Uncle -Harry?” - -“Uncle Harry,” asked Budge, a little later in the morning, “do you know -what makes the thunder?” - -“Yes, Budge—when two clouds go bump into each other they make a good -deal of noise, and they call it thunder.” - -“That ain’t it at all,” said Budge “When it thundered yesterday it was -because the Lord was riding along through the sky an’ the wheels of his -carriage made an awful noise, an’ that was the thunder.” - -“Don’t like nashty old funder,” remarked Toddie. “It goesh into our -cellar an’ makesh all ze milk sour—Maggie said so. An’ so I can’t hazh -no nice white tea for my brepspup.” - -“I should think you’d like the Lord to go a-ridin’, Toddie, with all -the angels running after Him,” said Budge, “even if the thunder _does_ -make the milk sour. And it’s so splendid to _see_ the thunder bang.” - -“How do you see it, Budge?” I asked. - -“Why, don’t you know when the thunder bangs, and then you see an awful -bright place in the sky?—that’s where the Lord’s carriage gives an -awful pound, an’ makes little cracks through the floor of heaven, -an’ we see right in. But what’s the reason we can’t ever see anybody -through the cracks, Uncle Harry?” - -“I don’t know, old fellow—I guess it’s because it isn’t cracks in -heaven that look so bright,—it’s a kind of fire that the Lord makes up -in the clouds. You’ll know all about it when you get bigger.” - -“Well, I’ll feel awful sorry if ’tain’t anything but fire. Do you know -that funny song my papa sings ’bout:— - - “‘Roarin’ thunders, lightenin’s blazes, - Shout the great Creator’s praises?’ - -I don’t know ’zactly what it means, but I think it’s kind o’ splendid, -don’t you?” - -[Illustration: “TWO CLOUDS GO BUMP INTO EACH OTHER”] - -I _did_ know the old song; I had heard it in a Western camp-meeting, -when scarcely older than Budge, and it left upon my mind just the -effect it seemed to have done on his. I blessed his sympathetic young -heart, and snatched him into my arms. Instantly, he became all boy -again. - -“Uncle Harry,” he shouted, “you crawl on your hands and knees and play -you was a horse, and I’ll ride on your back.” - -“No, thank you, Budge, not on the dirt.” - -“Then let’s play menagerie, an’ you be all the animals.” - -To this proposition I assented, and after hiding ourselves in one of -the retired angles of the house, so that no one could know who was -guilty of disturbing the peace by such dire noises, the performance -commenced. I was by turns a bear, a lion, a zebra, an elephant, dogs -of various kinds, and a cat. As I personated the latter named animal, -Toddie echoed my voice. - -“Miauw! Miauw!” said he, “dat’s what cats saysh when they goesh down -wells.” - -“Faith, an’ it’s him that knows,” remarked Mike, who had invited -himself to a free seat in the menagerie, and assisted in the applause -which had greeted each personation. “Would ye belave it, Misther Harry, -dhat young dhivil got out the front door one mornin’ afore sunroise, -all in his little noight-gown, an’ wint over to dhe docthor’s an’ -picked up a kitten lyin’ on dhe kitchen door-mat, an’ throwed it down -dhe well. Dhe docthor wasn’t home, but dhe missis saw him, an’ her -heart was dhat tindher dhat she hurried out and throwed boords down for -dhe poor little baste to stand on, an’ let down a hoe on a sthring, -an’ whin she got dhe poor little dhing out, she was dhat faint dhat -she dhrapped on dhe grass. An’ it cost Mr. Lawrence nigh onto thirty -dollars to have the docthor’s well claned out.” - -“Yes,” said Toddie, who had listened carefully to Mike’s recital, -“An’ kitty-kitty said, ‘Miauw! Miauw!’ when she goed down ze well. -An’ Mish Doctor sed, ‘Bad boy—go home—don’t never turn to my housh -no more,’—dat’s what she said to me. Now be some more animals, Ocken -Hawwy. Can’t you be a whay-al?” - -“Whales don’t make a noise, Toddie; they only splash about in the -water.” - -“Zen grop in ze cistern an’ ’plash, can’t you?” - - * * * * * - -Lunch-time, and after it the time for Toddie to take his nap. Poor -Budge was bereft of a playmate, for the doctor’s little girl was sick; -so he quietly followed me about with a wistful face, that almost -persuaded me to take him with me on my drive—_our_ drive. Had he -grumbled, I would have felt less uncomfortable; but there’s nothing so -touching and overpowering to either gods or men, as the spectacle of -mute resignation. At last, to my great relief, he opened his mouth. - -“Uncle Harry,” said he, “do you s’pose folks ever get lonesome in -heaven?” - -“I guess not, Budge.” - -“Do little boy angels’ papas an’ mammas go off visitin’, an’ stay ever -so long?” - -“I don’t exactly know, Budge, but if they do, the little boy angels -have plenty of other little boy angels to play with, so they can’t very -well be lonesome.” - -“Well, I don’t b’leeve they could make _me_ happy, when I wanted to see -my papa an’ mamma. When I haven’t got anybody to play with, then I want -papa an’ mamma _so_ bad—so bad as if I would die if I didn’t see ’em -right away.” - -[Illustration: “CAN’T YOU BE A WHAY-AL?”] - -I was shaving, and only half-done, but I hastily wiped off my face, -dropped into a rocking-chair, took the forlorn little boy into my arms, -and kissed him, caressed him, sympathized with him, and devoted myself -entirely to the task and pleasure of comforting him. His sober little -face gradually assumed a happier appearance; his lips parted in such -lines as no old master ever put upon angel lips; his eyes, from being -dim and hopeless, grew warm and lustrous and melting. At last he said:— - -“Uncle Harry, I’m _ever_ so happy now. An’ can’t Mike go around with me -and the goat, all the time you’re away riding? An bring us home some -candy, an’ marbles—oh, yes—an’ a new dog.” - -Anxious as I was to hurry off to meet my engagement, I was rather -disgusted as I unseated Budge and returned to my razor. So long as -he was lonesome and I was his only hope, words couldn’t express his -devotion, but the moment he had, through my efforts, regained his -spirits, his only use for me was to ask further favors. Yet in trying -the poor boy, judicially, the evidence was more dangerous to humanity -in general than to Budge; it threw a great deal of light upon my own -peculiar theological puzzles, and almost convinced me that my duty was -to preach a new gospel. - -As I drove up to the steps of Mrs. Clarkson’s boarding-house, it seemed -to me a month had elapsed since last I was there, and this apparent -lapse of time was all that prevented my ascribing to miraculous -agencies the wonderful and delightful change that Alice’s countenance -had undergone in two short days. Composure, quickness of perception, -the ability to guard one’s self, are indications of character which are -particularly in place in the countenance of a young lady in society, -but when, without losing these, the face takes on the radiance born -of love and trust, the effect is indescribably charming—especially to -the eyes of the man who causes the change. Longer, more out-of-the-way -roads between Hillcrest and the Falls, I venture to say, were never -known than I drove over that afternoon, and my happy companion, who in -other days I had imagined might one day, by her decision, alertness -and force exceed the exploits of Lady Baker, or Miss Tinne, never once -asked if I was sure we were on the right road. Only a single cloud came -over her brow, and of this I soon learned the cause. - -“Harry,” said she, pressing closer to my side, and taking an appealing -tone, “do you love me well enough to endure something unpleasant for my -sake?” - -My answer was not verbally expressed, but its purport seemed to be -understood and accepted, for Alice continued:— - -“I wouldn’t undo a bit of what’s happened—I’m the happiest, proudest -woman in the world. But we _have_ been very hasty, for people who have -been mere acquaintances. And mother is dreadfully opposed to such -affairs—she is of the old style, you know.” - -“It was all my fault,” said I. “I’ll apologize promptly and handsomely. -The time and agony which I didn’t consume in laying siege to your -heart, I’ll devote to the task of gaining your mother’s good graces.” - -The look I received in reply to this remark would have richly repaid -me, had my task been to conciliate as many mothers-in-law as Brigham -Young possesses. But her smile faded as she said:— - -“You don’t know what a task you have before you. Mother has a very -tender heart, but it’s thoroughly fenced in by proprieties. In her day -and set, courtship was a very slow, stately affair, and mother believes -it the proper way now; so do I, but I admit possible exceptions, and -mother does not. I am afraid she won’t be patient if she knows the -whole truth, yet I can’t bear to keep it from her. I’m her only child, -you know.” - -“_Don’t_ keep it from her,” said I, “unless for some reason of your -own. Let me tell the whole story, take all the responsibility, and -accept the penalties, if there are any. Your mother is right in -principle, if there _is_ a certain delightful exception that we know -of.” - -“My only fear is for _you_,” said my darling, nestling closer to me. -“She comes of a family that can display most glorious indignation when -there’s a good excuse for it, and I can’t bear to think of _you_ being -the cause of such an outbreak.” - -“I’ve faced the ugliest of guns in honor of one form of love, little -girl,” I replied, “and I could do even more for the sentiment for which -_you’re_ to blame. And for my own sake, I’d rather endure anything -than a sense of having deceived any one, especially the mother of such -a daughter. Besides, you’re her dearest treasure, and she has a right -to know of even the least thing that in any way concerns you.” - -“And you’re a noble fellow, and——” Whatever other sentiment my -companion failed to put into words was impulsively and eloquently -communicated by her dear eyes. - -But oh, what a cowardly heart your dear cheek rested upon an instant -later, fair Alice! Not for the first time in my life did I shrink and -tremble at the realization of what duty imperatively required—not for -the first time did I go through a harder battle than was ever fought -with sword and cannon, and a battle with greater possibilities of -danger than the field ever offered. I won it, as a man _must_ do in -such fights, if he deserves to live; but I could not help feeling -considerably sobered on our homeward drive. - -We neared the house, and I had an insane fancy that instead of driving -two horses I was astride of one, with spurs at my heels and a saber at -my side. - -“Let me talk to her _now_, Alice, won’t you? Delays are only cowardly.” - -A slight trembling at my side—an instant of silence that seemed an -hour, yet within which I could count but six footfalls, and Alice -replied:— - -“Yes; if the parlor happens to be empty, I’ll ask her if she won’t go -in and see you a moment.” Then there came a look full of tenderness, -wonder, painful solicitude, and then two dear eyes filled with tears. - -“We’re nearly there, darling,” said I, with a reassuring embrace. - -“Yes, and you sha’n’t be the only hero,” said she, straightening -herself proudly, and looking a fit model for a Zenobia. - -As we passed from behind a clump of evergreens which hid the house from -our view, I involuntarily exclaimed, “Gracious!” Upon the piazza stood -Mrs. Mayton; at her side stood my two nephews, as dirty in face, in -clothing, as I had ever seen them. I don’t know but that for a moment -I freely forgave them, for their presence might grant me the respite -which a sense of duty would not allow me to take. - -“Wezhe comed up to wide home wif you,” exclaimed Toddie, as Mrs. Mayton -greeted me with an odd mixture of courtesy, curiosity and humor. Alice -led the way into the parlor, whispered to her mother, and commenced to -make a rapid exit, when Mrs. Mayton called her back, and motioned her -to a chair. Alice and I exchanged sidelong glances. - -“Alice says you wish to speak with me, Mr. Burton,” said she. “I wonder -whether the subject is one upon which I have this afternoon received a -minute verbal account from the elder Master Lawrence.” - -Alice looked blank;—I am sure that _I_ did. But safety could only lie -in action, so I stammered out:—— - -“If you refer to an apparently unwarrantable intrusion upon your family -circle, Mrs.——” - -“I do, sir,” replied the old lady. “Between the statements made by -that child, and the hitherto unaccountable change in my daughter’s -looks during two or three days, I think I have got at the truth of -the matter. If the offender was any one else, I should be inclined to -be severe; but we mothers of only daughters are apt to have a pretty -distinct idea of the merits of young men, and——” - -The old lady dropped her head; I sprang to my feet, seized her hand, -and reverently kissed it; then Mrs. Mayton, whose only son had died -fifteen years before, raised her head and adopted me in the manner -peculiar to mothers, while Alice burst into tears, and kissed us both. - -A few moments later, as three happy people were occupying conventional -attitudes, and trying to compose faces which should bear the inspection -of whoever might happen into the parlor, Mrs. Mayton observed:— - -“My children, between us this matter is understood, but I must caution -you against acting in such a way as to make the engagement public at -once.” - -“Trust me for that,” hastily exclaimed Alice. - -“And me,” said I. - -“I have no doubt of the intention and discretion of either of you,” -resumed Mrs. Mayton, “but you cannot possibly be too cautious.” Here a -loud laugh from the shrubbery under the windows drowned Mrs. Mayton’s -voice for a moment, but she continued: “Servants, children,”—here she -smiled, and I dropped my head—“persons you may chance to meet——” - -Again the laugh broke forth under the window. - -“What _can_ those girls be laughing at?” exclaimed Alice, moving toward -the window, followed by her mother and me. - -Seated in a semicircle on the grass were most of the ladies boarding at -Mrs. Clarkson’s, and in front of them stood Toddie, in that high state -of excitement to which sympathetic applause always raises him. - -“Say it again,” said one of the ladies. - -Toddie put on an expression of profound wisdom, made violent -gestures with both hands, and repeated the following, with frequent -gesticulations:— - - “Azh wadiant azh ze matchless woze - Zat poeck-artuss fanshy; - Azh fair azh whituss lily-blowzh; - Azh moduss azh a panzhy; - Azh pure azh dew zat hides wiffin - Awwahwah’s sun-tissed tsallish; - Azh tender azh ze pwimwose tweet, - All zish, an’ moah, izh Alish.” - -[Illustration: “AZH WADIANT AZH ZE MATCHLESS WOZE”] - -I gasped for breath. - -“Who taught you all that, Toddie?” asked one of the ladies. - -“Nobody didn’t taught me—I lyned[9] it.” - - [9] Learned. - -“When did you learn it?” - -“Lyned it zish mornin’. Ocken Hawwy said it over, an’ over, an’ over, -djust yots of timezh, out in ze garden.” - -The ladies all exchanged glances—my lady readers will understand just -how, and I assure gentlemen that I did not find their glances at all -hard to read. Alice looked at me inquiringly, and she now tells me that -I blushed sheepishly and guiltily. Poor Mrs. Mayton staggered to a -chair, and exclaimed: - -“Too late! too late!” - -Considering their recent achievements, Toddie and Budge were a very -modest couple as I drove them home that evening. Budge even made some -attempt at apologizing for their appearance, saying that they couldn’t -find Maggie, and _couldn’t_ wait any longer; but I assured him that -no apology was necessary. I was in such excellent spirits that my -feeling became contagious; and we sang songs, told stories, and played -ridiculous games most of the evening, paying but little attention to -the dinner that was set for us. - -“Uncle Harry,” said Budge, suddenly, “do you know we haven’t ever sung,— - - ‘Drown old Pharaoh’s Army, Hallelujah,’ - -since you’ve been here? Let’s do it now.” - -“All right, old fellow.” I knew the song—such as there was of it—and -its chorus, as _every_ one does who ever heard the Jubilee Singers -render it; but I scarcely understood the meaning of the preparations -which Budge made. He drew a large rocking-chair into the middle of the -room, and exclaimed:— - -“There, Uncle Harry—you sit down. Come along, Tod—you sit on that knee, -and I’ll sit on this. Lift up both hands, Tod, like I do. Now we’re all -ready, Uncle Harry.” - -I sang the first line:— - - “When Israel was in bondage, they cried unto the Lord,” - -without any assistance, but the boys came in powerfully on the refrain, -beating time simultaneously with their four fists upon my chest. I -cannot think it strange that I suddenly ceased singing, but the boys -viewed my action from a different standpoint. - -“What makes you stop, Uncle Harry?” asked Budge. - -“Because you hurt me badly, my boy; you mustn’t do that again.” - -“Why, I guess you ain’t very strong: that’s the way we do to papa, an’ -it don’t hurt _him_.” - -Poor Tom! No wonder he grows flat-chested. - -“Guesh you’s a ky-baby,” suggested Toddie. - -This imputation I bore with meekness, but ventured to remark that it -was bedtime. After allowing a few moments for the usual expressions of -dissent, I staggered upstairs with Toddie in my arms, and Budge on my -back, both boys roaring the refrain of the negro hymn:— - - “I’m a-rolling through an unfriendly World!” - -The offer of a stick of candy to whichever boy was first undressed, -caused some lively disrobing, after which each boy received the prize. -Budge bit a large piece, wedged it between his cheek and his teeth, -closed his eyes, folded his hands on his breast, and prayed:— - -“Dear Lord, bless papa an’ mamma, an’ Toddie an’ me, an’ that turtle -Uncle Harry found; and bless that lovely lady Uncle Harry goes ridin’ -with, an’ make ’em take me too, an’ bless that nice old lady with white -hair, that cried, an’ said I was a smart boy. Amen.” - -Toddie sighed as he drew his stick of candy from his lips; then he -shut his eyes and remarked:—“Dee Lord, blesh Toddie, an’ make him good -boy, an’ blesh zem ladies zat told me to say it aden”; the particular -“it” referred to being well understood by at least three adults of my -acquaintance. - -The course of Budge’s interview with Mrs. Mayton was afterward related -by that lady, as follows:— - -She was sitting in her own room (which was on the parlor floor, and in -the rear of the house), and was leisurely reading “Fated to be Free,” -when she accidentally dropped her glasses. Stooping to pick them up, -she became aware that she was not alone. A small, very dirty, but -good-featured boy stood before her, his hands behind his back, and an -inquiring look in his eyes. - -“Run away, little boy,” said she. “Don’t you know it isn’t polite to -enter rooms without knocking?” - -“I’m lookin’ for my uncle,” said Budge, in most melodious accents, “an’ -the other ladies said you would know when he would come back.” - -“I’m afraid they were making fun of you—or me,” said the old lady, a -little severely. “I don’t know anything about little boys’ uncles. Now, -run away, and don’t disturb me any more.” - -“Well,” continued Budge, “they said your little girl went with him, and -you’d know when _she_ would come back.” - -“I haven’t any little girl,” said the old lady, her indignation at a -supposed joke threatening to overcome her dignity. “Now go away.” - -“She isn’t a _very_ little girl,” said Budge, honestly anxious to -conciliate; “that is, she’s bigger’n _I_ am, but they said you was -her mother, an’ so she’s your little girl, isn’t she? _I_ think she’s -lovely, too.” - -[Illustration: MRS. MAYTON STOOPED TO PICK UP HER GLASSES] - -“Do you mean Miss Mayton?” asked the lady, thinking she had a possible -clue to the cause of Budge’s anxiety. - -“Oh, yes—that’s her name—I couldn’t think of it,” eagerly replied -Budge. “An ain’t she AWFUL nice—I _know_ she is!” - -“Your judgment is quite correct, considering your age,” said Mrs. -Mayton, exhibiting more interest in Budge than she had heretofore -done. “But what makes _you_ think she is nice? You are rather younger -than her male admirers usually are.” - -“Why, my Uncle Harry told me so,” replied Budge, “and _he_ knows -_everything_.” - -Mrs. Mayton grew vigilant at once, and dropped her book. - -“Who _is_ your Uncle Harry, little boy?” - -“He’s Uncle Harry; don’t you know him? He can make nicer whistles than -my papa can. An’ he found a turtle——” - -“Who is your papa?” interrupted the old lady. - -“Why, he’s papa—I thought everybody knew who _he_ was.” - -“What is your name?” asked Mrs. Mayton. - -“John Burton Lawrence,” promptly answered Budge. - -Mrs. Mayton wrinkled her brows for a moment, and finally asked:— - -“Is Mr. Burton the uncle you are looking for?” - -“I don’t know any Mr. Burton,” said Budge, a little dazed; “uncle is -mamma’s brother, an’ he’s been livin’ at our house ever since mamma and -papa went off visitin’, an’ he goes ridin’ in our carriage, an’——” - -“Humph!” remarked the old lady with so much emphasis that Budge ceased -talking. A moment later she said:— - -“I didn’t mean to interrupt you, little boy; go on.” - -“An’ he rides with just the loveliest lady that ever was. _He_ thinks -so, an’ _I_ KNOW she is. An’ he ’spects her.” - -“What?” exclaimed the old lady. - -”’Spects her, I say—that’s what _he_ says. _I_ say ’spect means just -what I call _love_. ’Cos if it don’t, what makes him give her hugs an’ -kisses?” - -Mrs. Mayton caught her breath—and did not reply for a moment. At last -she said:— - -“How do you know he—gives her hugs and kisses?” - -”’Cos I saw him, the day Toddie hurt his finger in the grass cutter. -An’ he was so happy that he bought me a goat-carriage next morning—I’ll -show it to you if you come down to our stable, an’ I’ll show you the -goat too. An’ he bought——” - -Just here Budge stopped, for Mrs. Mayton put her handkerchief to her -eyes. Two or three moments later she felt a light touch on her knee, -and, wiping her eyes, saw Budge looking sympathetically into her face. - -“I’m awful sorry you feel bad,” said he. “Are you ’fraid to have your -little girl ridin’ so long?” - -“Yes!” exclaimed Mrs. Mayton, with great decision. - -“Well, you needn’t be,” said Budge, “for Uncle Harry’s awful careful -an’ smart.” - -“He ought to be ashamed of himself!” exclaimed the lady. - -“I guess he is, then,” said Budge, ”’cos he’s ev’rything he ought to -be. He’s awful careful. T’other day, when the goat ran away, an’ -Toddie an’ me got in the carriage with them, he held on to her tight, -so she couldn’t fall out.” - -Mrs. Mayton brought her foot down with a violent stamp. - -“I know you’d ’spect _him_, if you knew how nice he was,” continued -Budge. “He sings awful funny songs, an’ tells splendid stories.” - -“Nonsense!” exclaimed the angry mother. - -“They ain’t no nonsense at all,” said Budge. “I don’t think it’s nice -for to say that, when his stories are always about Joseph, an’ Abraham, -an’ Moses, an’ when Jesus was a little boy, an’ the Hebrew children, -an’ lots of people that the Lord loved. An’ he’s awful ’fectionate, -too.” - -“Yes, I suppose so,” said Mrs. Mayton. - -“When we says our prayers we prays for the nice lady what he ’spects, -an’ he likes us to do it,” continued Budge. - -“How do you know?” demanded Mrs. Mayton. - -”’Cos he always kisses us when we do it an’ that’s what my papa does -when he likes what we pray.” - -Mrs. Mayton’s mind became absorbed in earnest thought, but Budge had -not said all that was in his heart. - -“An’ when Toddie or me tumbles down an hurts ourselves, ’tain’t no -matter what Uncle Harry’s doin’, he runs right out an’ picks us up an’ -comforts us. He froed away a cigar the other day, he was in such a -hurry when a wasp stung me, an’ Toddie picked the cigar up and ate it, -an’ it made him _awful_ sick.” - -The last-named incident did not affect Mrs. Mayton deeply, perhaps on -the score of inapplicability to the question before her. Budge went on:— - -“An’ wasn’t he good to me to-day? Just ’cos I was forlorn, ’cos I -hadn’t nobody to play with, an’ wanted to die an’ go to heaven, he -stopped shavin’, so as to comfort me.” - -Mrs. Mayton had been thinking rapidly and seriously, and her heart had -relented somewhat toward the principal offender. - -“Suppose,” she said, “that I don’t let my little girl go riding with -him any more?” - -“Then,” said Budge, “I know he’ll be awful, awful unhappy, an’ I’ll be -awful sorry for him, ’cos nice folks oughtn’t to be made unhappy.” - -“Suppose, then, that I _do_ let her go?” said Mrs. Mayton. - -[Illustration: MADE HIM AWFUL SICK] - -“Then I’ll give you a whole stomachful of kisses for being so good to -my uncle,” said Budge. And assuming that the latter course would be the -one adopted by Mrs. Mayton, Budge climbed into her lap and began at -once to make payment. - -“Bless your dear little heart! exclaimed Mrs. Mayton; “you’re of the -same blood, and it _is_ good, if it _is_ rather hasty.” - -As I rose the next morning, I found a letter under my door. -Disappointed that it was not addressed in Alice’s writing, I was -nevertheless glad to get a word from my sister, particularly as the -letter ran as follows:— - - “July 1, 1875. - - “DEAR OLD BROTHER:—I’ve been recalling a fortnight’s experience _we_ - once had of courtship in a boarding-house, and I’ve determined to cut - short our visit here, hurry home, and give you and Alice a chance or - two to see each other in parlors where there won’t be a likelihood of - the dozen or two interruptions you must suffer each evening now. Tom - agrees with me, like the obedient old darling that he is; so please - have the carriage at Hillcrest station for us at 11:40 Friday morning. - Invite Alice and her mother for me to dine with us Sunday,—we’ll bring - them home from church with us. - - “Lovingly your sister, - “HELEN. - - “P. S. Of course you’ll have my darlings in the carriage to receive me. - - “P. S. _Would_ it annoy you to move into the best guest-chamber? I - can’t bear to sleep where I can’t have _them_ within reach.” - -Friday morning they intended to arrive,—blessings on their thoughtful -hearts!—and _this_ was Friday. I hurried into the boys’ room and -shouted:— - -“Toddie! Budge! who do you think is coming to see you this morning?” - -“Who?” asked Budge. - -“Organ-grinder?” queried Toddie. - -“No, your papa and mamma.” - -Budge looked like an angel in an instant, but Toddie’s eyes twitched a -little, and he mournfully murmured:— - -“I fought it wash an organ-grinder.” - -“O Uncle Harry!” said Budge, springing out of bed in a perfect delirium -of delight, “I believe if my papa and mamma had stayed away any longer, -I believe I would _die_. I’ve been _so_ lonesome for ’em that I haven’t -known what to do—I’ve cried whole pillowsful about it, right here in -the dark.” - -“Why, my poor old fellow,” said I, picking him up and kissing him, “why -didn’t you come up and tell Uncle Harry, and let him try to comfort -you?” - -“I _couldn’t_,” said Budge; “when I gets lonesome, it feels as if my -mouth was all tied up, an’ a great big stone was right in here.” And -Budge put his hand on his chest. - -“If a big ’tone wazh inshide of _me_,” said Toddie, “I’d take it out -an’ fro it at the shickens.” - -“Toddie,” said I, “aren’t you glad papa and mamma are coming?” - -“Yesh,” said Toddie, “I fink it’ll be awfoo nish. Mamma always bwings -me candy fen she goes away anyfere.” - -“Toddie, you’re a mercenary wretch.” - -“_Ain’t_ a mernesary wetch; Izhe Toddie Yawncie.” - -Toddie made none the less haste in dressing than his brother, -however. Candy was to him what some systems of theology are to their -adherents—not a very lofty motive of action, but sweet, and something -he could fully understand; so the energy displayed in getting himself -tangled up in his clothes was something wonderful. - -“Stop, boys,” said I; “you must have on clean clothes to-day. You don’t -want your father and mother to see you all dirty, do you?” - -“Of course not,” said Budge. - -“Oh, izh I goin’ to be djessed up all nicey?” asked Toddie. “Goody! -goody! goody!” - -I always thought my sister Helen had an undue amount of vanity, and -here it was reappearing in the second generation. - -“An’ I wantsh my shoes made all nigger,” said Toddie. - -“What?” - -“Wantsh my shoes made all nigger wif a bottle-bwush, too,” said Toddie. - -I looked appealingly at Budge, who answered:— - -“He means he wants his shoes blacked, with the polish that’s in the -bottle, an’ you rub it on with a brush.” - -“An’ I wantsh a thath on,” continued Toddie. - -“Sash, he means,” said Budge. “He’s awful proud.” - -“An’ Izhe doin’ to wear my takker-hat,” said Toddie. “An’ my wed -djuvs.” - -“That’s his tassel-hat an’ his red gloves,” continued the interpreter. - -“Toddie, you can’t wear gloves such hot days as these,” said I. - -A look of inquiry was speedily followed by Toddie’s own unmistakable -preparations for weeping; and as I did not want his eyes dimmed when -his mother looked into them I hastily exclaimed:— - -“Put them on, then—put on the mantle of rude Boreas if you choose; but -don’t go to crying.” - -“Don’t want no mantle-o’wude-baw-yusses,” declared Toddie, following me -phonetically, “wantsh my own pitty cozhesh, an’ nobody eshesh.” - -“O Uncle Harry,” exclaimed Budge, “I want to bring mamma home in my -goat-carriage!” - -“The goat isn’t strong enough, Budge, to draw mamma and you.” - -“Well, then, let me drive down to the depot, just to _show_ papa an’ -mamma I’ve got a goat-carriage—I’m sure mamma would be very unhappy -when she found out I had one, and she hadn’t seen it first thing.” - -“Well, I guess you may follow me down, Budge; but you must drive very -carefully.” - -“Oh, yes—I wouldn’t get us hurt when mamma was coming for _any_thing.” - -“Now, boys,” said I, “I want you to stay in the house and play this -morning. If you go out of doors you’ll get yourselves dirty.” - -“I guess the sun’ll be disappointed if it don’t have us to look at,” -suggested Budge. - -[Illustration: “THE SUN’LL BE DISAPPOINTED IF IT DON’T HAVE US TO LOOK -AT”] - -“Never mind,” said I, “the sun’s old enough to have learned to be -patient.” - -Breakfast over, the boys moved reluctantly away to the play-room, -while I inspected the house and grounds pretty closely, to see that -everything should at least fail to do my management discredit. A dollar -given to Mike and another to Maggie were of material assistance in -this work, so I felt free to adorn the parlors and Helen’s chamber -with flowers. As I went into the latter room I heard some one at the -wash-stand, which was in an alcove and, on looking in, I saw Toddie -drinking the last of the contents of a goblet which contained a -dark-colored mixture. - -“Izhe tatin’ black medshin,” said Toddie; “I likes black medshin awfoo -muts.” - -“What do you make it of?” I asked, with some sympathy, and tracing -parental influence again. When Helen and I were children we spent hours -in soaking licorice in water and administering it as medicine. - -“Makesh it out of shoda mitsture,” said Toddie. - -This was another medicine of our childhood days, but one prepared -according to physician’s prescription, and not beneficial when taken -_ad libitum_. As I took the vial—a two-ounce one—I asked:— - -“How much did you take, Toddie?” - -“Took whole bottoo full—’twas nysh,” said he. - -Suddenly, the label caught my eye—it read PAREGORIC. In a second I had -snatched a shawl, wrapped Toddie in it, tucked him under my arm, and -was on my way to the barn. In a moment more I was on one of the horses -and galloping furiously to the village, with Toddie under one arm, his -yellow curls streaming in the breeze. People came out and stared as -they did at John Gilpin, while one old farmer whom I met turned his -team about, whipped up furiously, and followed me, shouting, “Stop, -thief!” I afterward learned that he took me to be one of the abductors -of Charlie Ross, with the lost child under my arm, and that visions of -the $20,000 reward floated before his eyes. In front of an apothecary’s -I brought the horse suddenly upon his haunches, and dashed in, -exclaiming:— - -“Give this child a strong emetic—quick! He’s swallowed poison!” - -The apothecary hurried to his prescription-desk, while a -motherly-looking Irish woman upon whom he had been waiting, exclaimed, -“Holy Mither! I’ll run an’ fetch Father O’Kelley,” and hurried out. -Meanwhile Toddie, upon whom the medicine had not commenced to take -effect, had seized the apothecary’s cat by the tail, which operation -resulted in a considerable vocal protest from that animal. - -The experiences of the next few moments were more pronounced and -revolutionary than pleasing to relate in detail. It is sufficient -to say that Toddie’s weight was materially diminished, and that his -complexion was temporarily pallid. Father O’Kelley arrived at a brisk -run, and was honestly glad to find that his services were not required, -although I assured him that if Catholic baptism and a sprinkling of -holy water would have improved Toddie’s character, I thought there was -excuse for several applications. We rode quietly back to the house, and -while I was asking Maggie to try and coax Toddie into taking a nap, I -heard the patient remark to his brother:— - -[Illustration: GALLOPING FURIOUSLY TO THE VILLAGE] - -“Budgie, down to the village I was a whay-al. I didn’t froe up Djonah, -but I froed up a whole floor full of uvver fings.” - -During the hour which passed before it was time to start for the depot -my sole attention was devoted to keeping the children from soiling -their clothes; but my success was so little, that I lost my temper -entirely. First they insisted upon playing on a part of the lawn which -the sun had not yet reached. Then, while I had gone into the house for -a match to light my cigar, Toddie had gone with his damp shoes into the -middle of the road, where the dust was ankle deep. Then they got upon -their hands and knees on the piazza and played bear. Each one wanted -to pick a bouquet for his mother, and Toddie took the precaution to -smell every flower he approached—an operation which caused him to get -his nose covered with lily-pollen, so that he looked like a badly used -prize-fighter. In one of their spasms of inaction, Budge asked:— - -“What makes some of the men in church have no hair on the tops of their -heads, Uncle Harry?” - -“Because,” said I, pausing long enough to shake Toddie for trying to -get my watch out of my pocket, “because they have bad little boys to -bother them all the time, so their hair drops out.” - -“I dess _my_ hairs is a-goin’ to drop out pitty soon, then,” remarked -Toddie, with an injured air. - -[Illustration: MIKE TELLING MAGGIE TO GET LUNCH] - -“Harness the horses, Mike!” I shouted. - -“An’ the goat, too,” added Budge. - -Five minutes later I was seated in the carriage, or rather in Tom’s -two-seated open wagon. “Mike,” I shouted, “I forgot to tell Maggie to -have some lunch ready for the folks when they get here—run, tell her, -quick, won’t you?” - -“Oye, oye, sur,” said Mike, and off he went. - -“Are you all ready, boys?” I asked. - -“In a minute,” said Budge; “soon as I fix this. Now,” he continued, -getting into his seat, and taking the reins and whip, “go ahead.” - -“Wait a moment, Budge—put down that whip, and don’t touch the goat with -it once on the way. I’m going to drive very slowly—there’s plenty of -time, and all you need to do is to hold your reins.” - -“All right,” said Budge, “but I like to look like mans when I drive.” - -“You may do that when somebody can run beside you. Now!” - -The horses started at a gentle trot, and the goat followed very -closely. When within a minute of the depot, however, the train swept -in. I had intended to be on the platform to meet Tom and Helen, but my -watch was evidently slow. I gave the horses the whip, looked behind -and saw the boys were close upon me, and I was so near the platform -when I turned my head that nothing but the sharpest of turns saved me -from a severe accident. The noble animals saw the danger as quickly as -I did, however, and turned in marvelously small space; as they did so, -I heard two hard thumps upon the wooden wall of the little depot, heard -also two frightful howls, saw both my nephews considerably mixed up on -the platform, while the driver of the Bloom-Park stage growled in my -ear:— - -“What in thunder did you let ’em hitch that goat to your axle-tree for?” - -I looked, and saw the man spoke with just cause. How the goat’s -head and shoulders had maintained their normal connection during -the last minute of my drive, I leave for naturalists to explain. I -had no time to meditate on the matter just then, for the train had -stopped. Fortunately the children had struck on their heads, and the -Lawrence-Burton skull is a marvel of solidity. I set them upon their -feet, brushed them off with my hands, promised them all the candy they -could eat for a week, wiped their eyes, and hurried them to the other -side of the depot. Budge rushed at Tom, exclaiming:— - -“See my goat, papa!” - -Helen opened her arms, and Toddie threw himself into them, sobbing:— - -“Mam—_ma_! shing ’Toddie one-boy-day!’” - -How uncomfortable a man _can_ feel in the society of a dearly beloved -sister and an incomparable brother-in-law I never imagined until that -short drive. Helen was somewhat concerned about the children, but she -found time to look at me with so much of sympathy, humor, affection, -and condescension that I really felt relieved when we reached the -house. I hastily retired to my own room, but before I had shut the door -Helen was with me, and her arms were about my neck; before the dear old -girl removed them we had grown far nearer to each other than we had -ever been before. - -And how gloriously the rest of the day passed off. We had a delightful -little lunch, and Tom brought up a bottle of Roederer, and Helen -didn’t remonstrate when he insisted on its being drank from her finest -glasses, and there were toasts drank to “Her” and “Her Mother,” and -to the Benedict that was to be. And then Helen proposed “The makers -of the match—Budge and Toddie!” which was honored with bumpers. The -gentlemen toasted did not respond, but they stared so curiously that I -sprang from my chair and kissed them soundly, upon which Tom and Helen -exchanged significant glances. - -Then Helen walked down to Mrs. Clarkson’s boarding-house, all for -the purpose of showing a lady there, with a skirt to make over, just -how she had seen a similar garment rearranged exquisitely. And Alice -strolled down to the gate with her to say good-by; and they had so much -to talk about that Helen walked Alice nearly to our house, and then -insisted on her coming the rest of the way, so she might be driven -home. And then Mike was sent back with a note to say to Mrs. Mayton -that her daughter had been prevailed upon to stay to evening dinner, -but would be sent home under capable escort. And after dinner was -over and the children put to bed, Tom groaned that he _must_ attend a -road-board meeting, and Helen begged us to excuse her just a minute -while she ran in to the doctor’s to ask how poor Mrs. Brown had been -doing, and she consumed three hours and twenty-five minutes in asking, -bless her sympathetic soul! - -The dreaded ending of my vacation did not cause me as many pangs as I -had expected. Helen wanted to know one evening why if her poor, dear -Tom could go back and forth to the city to business every day, her lazy -big brother couldn’t go back and forth to Hillcrest daily, if she were -to want him as a boarder for the remainder of the season. Although I -had for years inveighed against the folly of cultivated people leaving -the city to find residences, Helen’s argument was unanswerable and I -submitted. I did even more; I purchased a lovely bit of ground (though -the deed stands in Tom’s name for the present), and Tom has brought up -several plans for cottage-houses, and every evening they are spread on -the dining-room table, and there gather round them four people, among -whom are a white goods salesman and a young lady with the brightest of -eyes and cheeks full of roses and lilies. This latter-named personage -has her own opinions of the merits of all plans suggested, and insisted -that whatever plan _is_ adopted _must_ have a lovely room to be set -apart as the exclusive property of Helen’s boys. Young as these -gentlemen are, I find frequent occasions to be frightfully jealous of -them, but they are unmoved by either my frowns or persuasions—artifice -alone is able to prevent their monopolizing the time of an adorable -being, of whose society I cannot possibly have too much. She insists -that when the ceremony takes place in December, they shall officiate -as groomsmen, and I have not the slightest doubt that she will carry -her point. In fact, I confess to frequent affectionate advances toward -them myself, and when I retire without first seeking their room and -putting a grateful kiss upon their unconscious lips, my conscience -upbraids me with base ingratitude. To think I might yet be a hopeless -bachelor had it not been for them, is to overflow with thankfulness to -the giver of - - HELEN’S BABIES. - - - * * * * * - - -Transcriber’s Notes - -Obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected. Other -variations in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation and accents remain -unchanged. - -Italics are represented thus _italic_. - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Helen's Babies, by John Habberton - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HELEN'S BABIES *** - -***** This file should be named 51085-0.txt or 51085-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/0/8/51085/ - -Produced by David Edwards, Les Galloway and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - -Title: Helen's Babies - -Author: John Habberton - -Illustrator: Tod Dwiggins - -Release Date: January 30, 2016 [EBook #51085] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HELEN'S BABIES *** - - - - -Produced by David Edwards, Les Galloway and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - - -<div class="figcenter" > -<img src="images/frontis.jpg" alt="Woman, Man and two children, the main characters." /> -</div> - - - - -<h1>HELEN'S BABIES</h1> - -<p class="center"><i><small>by</small></i><br /> - -JOHN HABBERTON</p> - -<p class="center"><span class="xs"><i>Illustrated by</i></span><br /> - -<small>Tod Dwiggins</small></p> - -<p class="center space-above">GROSSET & DUNLAP<br /> -<small>PUBLISHERS NEW YORK</small> -</p> - - -<p class="center space-above"> -<span class="smcap xs">Copyright, 1908, by</span><br /> -<small>GROSSET & DUNLAP</small><br /> -<br /> -<i><small>HELEN'S BABIES</small></i><br /> -<br /> -<i><small>All Rights Reserved</small></i></p> -<p class="center"> -<i><small>Printed in the United States of America</small></i><br /> -</p> - - -<hr class="chap" /> - -<h2><a name="Dedication" id="Dedication"></a>Dedication</h2> - - -<p>Everyone knows that there are, in the World, -hundreds of thousands of fathers and mothers, -each one of whom possesses the best children -that ever lived. I am, therefore, moved by -a sense of the eternal fitness of things to dedicate -this little volume to</p> - -<p class="center"> -The Parents of the<br /> -Best Children in the World -</p> - -<p>with the reminder that it is considered the -proper thing for each person, to whom a book -is dedicated, to purchase and read a copy.</p> - - -<hr class="chap" /> -<div class="chapter"> -<h2><a name="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS" id="LIST_OF_ILLUSTRATIONS"></a>LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS</h2> - - - - -<div class="center"> -<table border="0" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" summary=""> -<tr><td class="tdlh"> </td><td class="tdrt"><i><small>Page</small></i></td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p005">"We Call 'Em the Imps"</a></td><td class="tdrt">5</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p007">"Here's My Grass-Cutter"</a></td><td class="tdrt">7</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p011">"Wheels Go Wound"</a></td><td class="tdrt">11</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p015">"I Believe You Arranged the Floral Decorations"</a></td><td class="tdrt">15</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p017">Dropping Them Into the Bathtub</a></td><td class="tdrt">17</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p025">Budge's Idea of Jonah and the Whale</a></td><td class="tdrt">25</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p029">"We Hope He's Got Lots of Candy"</a></td><td class="tdrt">29</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p035">I Encountered a Door Ajar</a></td><td class="tdrt">35</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p037">The Dolly Found</a></td><td class="tdrt">37</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p041">"Papa Don't Whip Us With Sticks"</a></td><td class="tdrt">41</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p045">An Amateur in Packing</a></td><td class="tdrt">45</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p058">"I Hunged Over More Than Toddie Did"</a></td><td class="tdrt">58</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p067">"We've Got an Umbrella"</a></td><td class="tdrt">67</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p071">"When I Was a Soldier," Remarked Toddie</a></td><td class="tdrt">71</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p079">"Kish My Dolly, Too"</a></td><td class="tdrt">79</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p085">Two Little Savages</a></td><td class="tdrt">85</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p091">My Nephew Budge In His Best</a></td><td class="tdrt">91</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p097">Putting an Extension on the Afternoon</a></td><td class="tdrt">97</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p103">"I Was All Ate Up By a Lion"</a></td><td class="tdrt">103</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p109">Toddie Investigating a Hornet's Nest</a></td><td class="tdrt">109</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p113">"But Let's Hurry Home"</a></td><td class="tdrt">113</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p125">"Oo-Ee! Zha Turtle On My Plate"</a></td><td class="tdrt">125</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p133">Acting Upon Budge's Suggestion</a></td><td class="tdrt">133</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p139">To Skip All Love Talk in Novels</a></td><td class="tdrt">139</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p143">The Goat, the Carriage, and the Boys</a></td><td class="tdrt">143</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p151">"An' Wawtoo to Make Mud-Pies"</a></td><td class="tdrt">151</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p157">"Wantsh Dancin' Tune"</a></td><td class="tdrt">157</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p163">Two Great Hands Seized Toddie</a></td><td class="tdrt">163</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p165">"He's Got a Dead Mouse to be Jonah Now"</a></td><td class="tdrt">165</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p177">Holding Over His Head a Ragged Umbrella</a></td><td class="tdrt">177</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p181">"I Didn't Hurt De 'Ittle Mousie"</a></td><td class="tdrt">181</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p185">A Tribute to Mothers</a></td><td class="tdrt">185</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p191">I Shouted "Hurrah"</a></td><td class="tdrt">191</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p199">Two Clouds Go Bump Into Each Other</a></td><td class="tdrt">199</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p203">"Can't You Be a Whay-al?"</a></td><td class="tdrt">203</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p213">"Azh Wadiant Azh ze Matchless Wose"</a></td><td class="tdrt">213</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p219">Mrs Mayton Stooped to Pick Up Her Glasses</a></td><td class="tdrt">219</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p225">Made Him Awful Sick</a></td><td class="tdrt">225</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p231">"The Sun'll Be Disappointed If It Don't Have Us to Look At"</a></td><td class="tdrt">231</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p235">Galloping Furiously to the Village</a></td><td class="tdrt">235</td></tr> -<tr><td class="tdlh"><a href="#p237">Mike Telling Maggie to Get Lunch</a></td><td class="tdrt">237</td></tr> -</table></div> -<p><span class="pagenum"><a name="Page_1" id="Page_1">[Pg 1]</a></span></p> - -<hr class="chap" /> -</div><div class="chapter"> - -<h2><a name="HELENS_BABIES" id="HELENS_BABIES"></a>HELEN'S BABIES</h2> -</div> - -<div> - <img class="drop-cap" src="images/p001.jpg" alt="" /> -</div> -<p class="drop-cap"><span class="smcap">The</span> first cause, so far as it can -be determined, of the existence of this book may be found in the -following letter, written by my only married sister, and received by -me, Harry Burton, salesman of white goods, bachelor, aged twenty-eight, -and received just as I was trying to decide where I should spend a -fortnight's vacation:</p> - -<blockquote> -<p class="right"> -"<span class="smcap">Hillcrest</span>, June 15, 1875.<br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="smcap">Dear Harry</span>:—Remembering that you are always -complaining that you never have a chance to read, and -knowing you won't get it this summer, if you spend -your vacation among people of your own set, I write -to ask you to come up here. I admit that I am not -wholly disinterested in inviting you. The truth is, -Tom and I are invited to spend a fortnight with my -old school-mate, Alice Wayne, who, you know, is the -dearest girl in the world, though you <i>didn't</i> obey me -and marry her before Frank Wayne appeared. Well, -we're dying to go, for Alice and Frank live in splendid -style; but as they haven't included our children in<span class="pagenum" id="Page_2">2</span> -their invitation, and have no children of their own, -we must leave Budge and Toddie at home. I've no -doubt they'll be perfectly safe, for my girl is a jewel, -and devoted to the children, but I would feel a great -deal easier if there was a man in the house. Besides, -there's the silver, and burglars are less likely to break -into a house where there's a savage-looking man. -(Never mind about thanking me for the compliment.) -If <i>you'll</i> only come up, my mind will be completely at -rest. The children won't give you the slightest -trouble; they're the best children in the world—everybody -says so.</p> - -<p>"Tom has plenty of cigars, I know, for the money -I should have had for a new suit went to pay his cigar-man. -He has some new claret, too, that <i>he</i> goes into -ecstasies over, though <i>I</i> can't tell it from the vilest -black ink, except by the color. Our horses are in -splendid condition, and so is the garden—you see I -don't forget your old passion for flowers. And, last -and best, there never were so many handsome girls at -Hillcrest as there are among the summer boarders -already here; the girls you are already acquainted -with here will see that you meet all the newer acquisitions.</p> - -<p>"Reply by telegraph right away. Of course you'll -say 'Yes.'</p> - -<p class="center"> -"In great haste, your loving</p> -<p class="right">"<span class="smcap">Sister Helen</span>. -</p> - -<p>"P.S.—You shall have our own chamber; it catches -every breeze, and commands the finest views. The -children's room communicates with it; so, if anything -<i>should</i> happen to the darlings at night, you'll be sure -to hear them."</p></blockquote> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_3">3</span></p> - -<p>"Just the thing!" I ejaculated. Five minutes -later I had telegraphed Helen my acceptance -of her invitation, and had mentally selected -books enough to busy me during a -dozen vacations. Without sharing Helen's -belief that her boys were the best ones in the -world, I knew them well enough to feel assured -that they would not give me any annoyance. -There were two of them, since -Baby Phil died last fall; Budge, the elder, -was five years of age, and had generally, -during my flying visits to Helen, worn a shy, -serious, meditative, noble face, with great, -pure, penetrating eyes, that made me almost -fear their stare. Tom declared he was a -born philanthropist or prophet, and Helen -made so free with Miss Mulock's lines as to -sing:</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"Ah, the day that <i>thou</i> goest a wooing,</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Budgie, my boy!"</div> -</div></div></div> - -<p>Toddie had seen but three summers, and -was a happy little know-nothing, with a head -full of tangled yellow hair, and a very pretty -fancy for finding out sunbeams and dancing<span class="pagenum" id="Page_4">4</span> -in them. I had long envied Tom his horses, -his garden, his house and his location, and -the idea of controlling them for a fortnight -was particularly delightful. Tom's taste in -cigars and claret I had always respected, -while the lady inhabitants of Hillcrest were, -according to my memory, much like those of -every other suburban village—the fairest of -their sex.</p> - -<p>Three days later I made the hour and a -half trip between New York and Hillcrest, -and hired a hackman to drive me over to -Tom's. Half a mile from my brother-in-law's -residence, our horses shied violently, and the -driver, after talking freely to them, turned -to me and remarked:</p> - -<p>"That was one of the 'Imps.'"</p> - -<p>"What was?" I asked.</p> -<div class="figright" ><a id="p005"></a> -<img src="images/p005.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"WE CALL 'EM THE IMPS"</div> -</div> -<p>"That little cuss that scared the hosses. -There he is, now, holdin' up that piece of -brushwood. 'Twould be just like his cheek, -now, to ask me to let him ride. Here he -comes, runnin'. Wonder where t'other is?—they -most generally travel together. We call<span class="pagenum" id="Page_5">5</span> -'em the Imps, about these parts, because -they're so uncommon likely at mischief. Always skeerin' hosses, or -chasin' cows, or frightenin' chickens. Nice enough father an' mother, -too—queer, how young ones do turn out!"</p> - -<p>As he spoke, -the offending -youth came panting beside our carriage, and -in a very dirty sailor-suit, and under a broad-brimmed -straw hat, with one stocking about -his ankle, and two shoes averaging about two -buttons each, I recognized my nephew, Budge! -About the same time there emerged from the -bushes by the roadside a smaller boy, in a -green gingham dress, a ruffle which might -once have been white, dirty stockings, blue -slippers worn through at the toes, and an old-fashioned -straw turban. Thrusting into the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_6">6</span> -dust of the road a branch from a bush, and -shouting, "Here's my grass-cutter!" he ran -toward us enveloped in a "pillar of cloud," -which might have served the purpose of -Israel in Egypt. When we paused, and the -dust had somewhat subsided, I beheld the -unmistakable lineaments of the child Toddie!</p> - -<p>"They're—my nephews," I gasped.</p> - -<p>"What!" exclaimed the driver. "By gracious! -I forgot you were going to Colonel -Lawrence's! I didn't tell anything but the -truth about 'em, though; they're smart -enough, an' good enough, as boys go; but -they'd never die of the complaint that children -has in Sunday-school books."</p> - -<p>"Budge," said I, with all the sternness I -could command, "do you know me?"</p> - -<p>The searching eyes of the embryo prophet -and philanthropist scanned me for a moment, -then their owner replied:</p> - -<p>"Yes, you're Uncle Harry. Did you bring -us anything?"</p> - -<p>"Bring us anything?" echoed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"I wish I could have brought you some big<span class="pagenum" id="Page_7">7</span> -whippings," said I, with great severity of -manner, "for behaving so badly. Get into -this carriage."</p> - -<p>"Come on, Tod," shouted Budge, although -Toddie's farther ear was not a yard from -Budge's mouth, "Uncle Harry's going to take -us riding!"</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p007"></a> -<img src="images/p007.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"HERE'S MY GRASS-CUTTER"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Going to take us riding!" echoed Toddie, -with the air of one in a reverie; both the echo<span class="pagenum" id="Page_8">8</span> -and the reverie I soon learned were characteristics -of Toddie.</p> - -<p>As they clambered into the carriage I noticed -that each one carried a very dirty towel, -knotted in the center into what is known as -a slip-noose knot, drawn very tight. After -some moments of disgusted contemplation of -these rags, without being in the least able to -comprehend their purpose, I asked Budge -what those towels were for.</p> - -<p>"They're not towels—they're dollies," -promptly answered my nephew.</p> - -<p>"Goodness!" I exclaimed. "I should -think your mother could buy you respectable -dolls, and not let you appear in public with -those loathsome rags."</p> - -<p>"We don't like buyed dollies," explained -Budge. "These dollies is lovely; mine's -name is Mary, an' Toddie's is Marfa."</p> - -<p>"Marfa?" I queried.</p> - -<p>"Yes; don't you know about</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">'Marfa and Mary's jus' gone along</div> -<div class="verse">To ring dem charmin' bells,'</div> -</div></div></div> - -<p>that them Jubilees sings about?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_9">9</span></p> - -<p>"Oh, Martha, you mean?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Marfa—that's what I say. Toddie's -dolly's got brown eyes, an' my dolly's got -blue eyes."</p> - -<p>"I want to shee yours watch," remarked -Toddie, snatching at my chain, and rolling -into my lap.</p> - -<p>"Oh—oo—ee, so do I," shouted Budge, -hastening to occupy one knee, and <i>in transitu</i> -wiping his shoes on my trousers and the skirts -of my coat. Each imp put an arm about me -to steady himself, as I produced my three-hundred -dollar time-keeper, and showed them -the dial.</p> - -<p>"I want to see the wheels go round," said -Budge.</p> - -<p>"Want to shee wheels go wound," echoed -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"No; I can't open my watch where there's -so much dust," I said.</p> - -<p>"What for?" inquired Budge.</p> - -<p>"Want to shee the wheels go wound," repeated -Toddie.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_10">10</span></p> - -<p>"The dust gets inside the watch and spoils -it," I explained.</p> - -<p>"Want to shee the wheels go wound," said -Toddie, once more.</p> - -<p>"I tell you I can't, Toddie," said I, with -considerable asperity. "Dust spoils -watches."</p> - -<p>The innocent gray eyes looked up wonderingly, -the dirty but pretty lips parted slightly, -and Toddie murmured:—</p> - -<p>"Want to shee the wheels go wound."</p> - -<p>I abruptly closed my watch, and put it into -my pocket. Instantly Toddie's lower lip -commenced to turn outward, and continued -to do so, until I seriously feared the bony -portion of his chin would be exposed to view. -Then his lower jaw dropped, and he cried:—</p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—h—h—h—want—to—shee—the -wheels—go wou—<i>ound</i>."</p> - -<p>"Charles" (Charles is his baptismal name),—"Charles," -I exclaimed, with some anger, -"stop that noise this instant! Do you hear -me?"</p> - -<p>"Yes—oo—oo—oo—ahoo—ahoo."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_11">11</span></p> - -<p>"Then stop it."</p> - -<p>"Wants to shee——"</p> - -<p>"Toddie, I've got some candy in my trunk, -but I won't give you a bit if you don't stop -that infernal noise."</p> - -<p>"Well, I wants to shee wheels go wound. -Ah—ah—h—h—h—h!"</p> - -<p>"Toddie, dear, don't cry so. Here's some -ladies coming in a carriage; you wouldn't let -<i>them</i> see you crying, -would you? -You shall see the -wheels go round -as soon as we -get home."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p011"></a> -<img src="images/p011.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"WHEELS GO WOUND"</div> -</div> - -<p>A carriage -containing a -couple of ladies -was rapidly approaching, -as -Toddie again -raised his voice.</p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—want's to shee wheels——"</p> - -<p>Madly I snatched my watch from my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_12">12</span> -pocket, opened the case, and exposed the -works to view. The other carriage was passing -ours, and I dropped my head to avoid -meeting the glance of the unknown occupants, -for my few moments of contact with my -dreadful nephews had made me feel inexpressibly -unneat. Suddenly the carriage -with the ladies stopped. I heard my own -name spoken, and, raising my head quickly -(encountering Budge's bullet head <i>en route</i>, -to the serious disarrangement of my hat), I -looked into the other carriage. There, erect, -fresh, neat, composed, bright-eyed, fair-faced, -smiling and observant,—she would -have been all this, even if the angel of the -resurrection had just sounded his dreadful -trump,—sat Miss Alice Mayton, a lady who, -for about a year, I had been adoring from -afar.</p> - -<p>"When did <i>you</i> arrive, Mr. Burton?" she -asked, "and how long have you been officiating -as child's companion? You're certainly a -happy-looking trio—so unconventional. I -hate to see children all dressed up and stiff as<span class="pagenum" id="Page_13">13</span> -little manikins, when they go out to ride. -And you look as if you'd been having <i>such</i> a -good time with them."</p> - -<p>"I—I assure you, Miss Mayton," said I, -"that my experience has been the exact reverse -of a pleasant one. If King Herod were -yet alive I'd volunteer as an executioner, and -engage to deliver two interesting corpses at -a moment's notice."</p> - -<p>"You dreadful wretch!" exclaimed the -lady. "Mother, let me make you acquainted -with Mr. Burton, Helen Lawrence's brother. -How is your sister, Mr. Burton?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know," I replied; "she has gone -with her husband on a fortnight's visit to -Captain and Mrs. Wayne, and I've been silly -enough to promise to have an eye to the place -while they're away."</p> - -<p>"Why, how delightful!" exclaimed Miss -Mayton. "<i>Such</i> horses! <i>Such</i> flowers! <i>Such</i> -a cook!"</p> - -<p>"And such children," said I, glaring suggestively -at the imps, and rescuing from -Toddie a handkerchief which he had ex<span class="pagenum" id="Page_14">14</span>tracted -from my pocket, and was waving to -the breeze.</p> - -<p>"Why, they're the best children in the -world. Helen told me so the first time I met -her this season. Children will be children, -you know. We had three little cousins with -us last summer, and I'm sure they made me -look years older than I really am."</p> - -<p>"How young you must be, then, Miss Mayton!" -said I. I suppose I looked at her as -if I meant what I said, for although she inclined -her head and said, "Oh, thank you," -she didn't seem to turn my compliment off -in her usual invulnerable style. Nothing -happening in the course of conversation ever -discomposed Alice Mayton for more than a -hundred seconds, however, so she soon recovered -her usual expression and self-command, -as her next remark fully indicated.</p> - -<p>"I believe you arranged the floral decorations -at the St. Zephaniah's Fair, last winter, -Mr. Burton? 'Twas the most tasteful display -of the season. I don't wish to give any hints, -but at Mrs. Clarkson's, where we're board<span class="pagenum" id="Page_15">15</span>ing, -there's not a flower in the whole garden. I -break the Tenth Commandment dreadfully -every time I pass Colonel Lawrence's garden. -Good-by, Mr. Burton."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p015"></a> -<img src="images/p015.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption"> "I BELIEVE YOU ARRANGED THE FLORAL DECORATIONS"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Ah, thank you; I shall be delighted. -Good-by."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_16">16</span></p> - -<p>"Of course you'll call," said Miss Mayton, -as her carriage started. "It's dreadfully -stupid here—no men except on Sundays."</p> - -<p>I bowed assent. In the contemplation of -all the shy possibilities which my short chat -with Miss Mayton had suggested, I had quite -forgotten my dusty clothing and the two living -causes thereof. While in Miss Mayton's -presence the imps had preserved perfect silence, -but now their tongues were loosened.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "do you know -how to make whistles?"</p> - -<p>"Unken Hawwy," murmured Toddie, -"does you love dat lady?"</p> - -<p>"No, Toddie, of course not."</p> - -<p>"Then you's a baddy man, an' de Lord -won't let you go to heaven if you don't love -peoples."</p> - -<p>"Yes, Budge," I answered hastily, "I <i>do</i> -know how to make whistles, and you shall -have one."</p> - -<p>"Lord don't like mans what don't love -peoples," reiterated Toddie.</p> - -<p>"All right, Toddie," said I. "I'll see if I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_17">17</span> -can't please the Lord some way. Driver, -whip up, won't you? I'm in a hurry to turn -these youngsters -over to the girl, -and ask her to -drop them into -the bath-tub."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p017"></a> -<img src="images/p017.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">DROPPING THEM INTO THE BATHTUB</div> -</div> - -<p>I found Helen -had made every -possible arrangement -for -my comfort. -Her room commanded -exquisite views of mountain slope -and valley, and even the fact that the imps' -bedroom adjoined mine gave me comfort, for -I thought of the pleasure of contemplating -them while they were asleep, and beyond the -power of tormenting their deluded uncle.</p> - -<p>At the supper-table Budge and Toddie appeared -cleanly clothed and in their rightful -faces. Budge seated himself at the table; -Toddie pushed back his high-chair, climbed -into it, and shouted:—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_18">18</span></p> - -<p>"Put my legs under ze tabo!"</p> - -<p>Rightfully construing this remark as a request -to be moved to the table, I fulfilled his -desire. The girl poured tea for me and milk -for the children, and retired; and then I remembered, -to my dismay, that Helen never -had a servant in the dining-room, except -upon grand occasions, her idea being that -servants retail to their friends the cream of -the private conversation of the family circle. -In principle I agreed with her, but the penalty -of the practical application, with these -two little cormorants on my hands, was -greater suffering than any I had ever been -called upon to endure for principle's sake; -but there was no help for it. I resignedly -rapped on the table, bowed my head, said, -"For what we are about to receive, the Lord -make us thankful," and asked Budge whether -he ate bread or biscuit.</p> - -<p>"Why, we ain't asked no blessin' yet," -said he.</p> - -<p>"Yes, I did, Budge," said I. "Didn't you -hear me?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_19">19</span></p> - -<p>"Do you mean what you said just now?"</p> - -<p>"Yes."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I don't think that was no blessin' at -all. Papa never says that kind of a blessin'."</p> - -<p>"What does papa say, may I ask?" I inquired, -with becoming meekness.</p> - -<p>"Why, papa says, 'Our Father, we thank -thee for this food; mercifully remember with -us all the hungry and needy to-day, for -Christ's sake, Amen.' That's what he says."</p> - -<p>"It means the same thing, Budge."</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> don't think it does; and Toddie didn't -have no time to say <i>his</i> blessin'. I don't -think the Lord'll like it if you do it that way."</p> - -<p>"Yes, He will, old boy; He knows what -people mean."</p> - -<p>"Well, how can he tell what Toddie means -if Toddie can't say anything?"</p> - -<p>"Wantsh to shay my blessin'," whined -Toddie.</p> - -<p>It was enough; my single encounter with -Toddie had taught me to respect the young -gentleman's force of character. So again I -bowed my head and repeated what Budge<span class="pagenum" id="Page_20">20</span> -had reported as "papa's blessin'," Budge -kindly prompting me where my memory -failed. The moment I began, Toddie commenced -to jabber rapidly and aloud, and the -instant the "Amen" was pronounced he -raised his head and remarked with evident -satisfaction:—</p> - -<p>"I shed my blessin' <i>two</i> timesh."</p> - -<p>And Budge said gravely: "<i>Now</i> I guess -we're all right."</p> - -<p>The supper was an exquisite one, but the -appetites of those dreadful children effectually -prevented my enjoying the repast. I -hastily retired, called the girl, and instructed -her to see that the children had enough to -eat, and were put to bed immediately after; -then I lit a cigar and strolled into the garden. -The roses were just in bloom, the air was full -of the perfume of honeysuckles, the rhododendrons -had not disappeared, while I saw -promise of the early unfolding of many other -pet flowers of mine. I confess that I took a -careful survey of the garden to see how fine -a bouquet I might make for Miss Mayton<span class="pagenum" id="Page_21">21</span>, -and was so abundantly satisfied with the -material before me that I longed to begin -the work at once, but that it would seem too -hasty for true gentility. So I paced the -paths, my hands behind my back, and my -face well hidden by fragrant clouds of smoke, -and went into wondering and reveries. I -wondered if there was any sense in the language -of flowers, of which I had occasionally -seen mention made by silly writers; I wished -I had learned it if it had any meaning; I -wondered if Miss Mayton understood it. At -any rate, I fancied I could arrange flowers to -the taste of any lady whose face I had ever -seen; and for Alice Mayton I would make -something so superb that her face could not -help lighting up when she beheld it. I -imagined just how her bluish-gray eyes would -brighten, her cheeks would redden,—not with -sentiment, not a bit of it, but with genuine -pleasure,—how her strong lips would part -slightly and disclose sweet lines not displayed -when she held her features well in hand. I—I, -a clear-headed, driving, successful sales<span class="pagenum" id="Page_22">22</span>man -of white goods—actually wished I might -be divested of all nineteenth-century abilities -and characteristics, and be one of those fairies -that only silly girls and crazy poets think of, -and might, unseen, behold the meeting of my -flowers with this highly cultivated specimen -of the only sort of flowers our cities produce. -What flower did she most resemble? A lily?—no; -too—not exactly too bold, but too—too, -well, I couldn't think of the word, but -clearly it wasn't bold. A rose? Certainly, -not like those glorious but blazing remontants, -nor yet like the shy, delicate, ethereal -tea roses with their tender suggestions of -color. Like this perfect Gloire de Dijon, -perhaps; strong, vigorous, self-asserting, -among its more delicate sisterhood; yet -shapely, perfect in outline and development, -exquisite, enchanting in its never fully analyzed -tints, yet compelling the admiration of -everyone, and recalling its admirers again and -again by the unspoken appeal of its own perfection—its -unvarying radiance.</p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—h—ee—ee—ee—ee—ee—oo<span class="pagenum" id="Page_23">23</span> -—oo—oo—oo!" came from the window over -my head. Then came a shout of—"Uncle -Harry!" in a voice I recognized as that of -Budge. I made no reply: there are moments -when the soul is full of utterances unfit -to be heard by childish ears. "Uncle Har<i>ray</i>!" -repeated Budge. Then I heard a window -blind open, and Budge exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, we want you to come and -tell us stories."</p> - -<p>I turned my eyes upward quickly, and was -about to send a savage negative in the same -direction, when I saw in the window a face -unknown and yet remembered. Could those -great, wistful eyes, that angelic mouth, that -spiritual expression, belong to my nephew -Budge? Yes, it must be certainly that super-celestial -nose and those enormous ears never -belonged to anyone else. I turned abruptly, -and entered the house, and was received at -the head of the stairway by two little figures -in white, the larger of which remarked:—</p> - -<p>"We want you to tell us stories—papa always -does nights."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_24">24</span></p> - -<p>"Very well, jump into bed—what kind of -stories do you like?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, 'bout Jonah," said Budge.</p> - -<p>"'Bout Jonah," echoed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Well, Jonah was out in the sun one day, -and a gourd-vine grew up all of a sudden, and -made it nice and shady for him, and then it -all faded as quick as it came."</p> - -<p>A dead silence prevailed for a moment, and -then Budge indignantly remarked:</p> - -<p>"That ain't Jonah a bit—<i>I</i> know 'bout -Jonah."</p> - -<p>"Oh, you do, do you?" said I. "Then -maybe you'll be so good as to enlighten me?"</p> - -<p>"Huh?"</p> - -<p>"If you know about Jonah, tell me the -story; I'd really enjoy listening to it."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Budge, "Once upon a time the -Lord told Jonah to go to Nineveh and tell the -people they was all bad. But Jonah didn't -want to go, so he went on a boat that was -going to Joppa. An' then there was a big -storm, an' it rained an' blowed and the big -waves went as high as a house. An' the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_25">25</span> -sailors thought there must be somebody on -the boat that the Lord didn't like. An' -Jonah said he guessed <i>he</i> was the man. So -they picked him up and froed him in the -ocean, an' I don't think it was well for 'em to -do that after Jonah told the troof. An' a big -whale was comin' along, an' he was awful -hungry, 'cos the little fishes what he likes to -eat all went down to the bottom of the ocean -when it began to storm, and whales can't go -to the bottom of the ocean, 'cos they have to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_26">26</span> -come up to breeve, an' little fishes don't. -An' Jonah found 'twas all dark inside the -whale, and there wasn't any fire there, an' it -was all wet, an' he couldn't take off his -clothes to dry, 'cos there wasn't no place to -hang 'em, and there wasn't no windows to -look out of, nor nothin' to eat, nor nothin' nor -nothin' nor nothin'. So he asked the Lord -to let him out, an' the Lord was sorry for -him, an' He made the whale go up close to the -land, an' Jonah jumped right out of his -mouth, and <i>wasn't</i> he glad? An' then he -went to Nineveh, an' done what the Lord -told him to, an' he ought to have done it in -the first place if he had known what was good -for him."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p025"></a> -<img src="images/p025.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">BUDGE'S IDEA OF JONAH AND THE WHALE</div> -</div> - -<p>"Done first payshe, know what's dood for -him," asserted Toddie, in support of his -brother's assertion. "Tell us 'nudder story."</p> - -<p>"Oh, no, sing us a song," suggested Budge.</p> - -<p>"Shing us shong," echoed Toddie.</p> - -<p>I searched my mind for a song, but the -only one which came promptly was "M'Appari," -several bars of which I gave my juvenile<span class="pagenum" id="Page_27">27</span> -audience, when Budge interrupted me, -saying:—</p> - -<p>"I don't think that's a very good song."</p> - -<p>"Why not, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"'Cos I don't. I don't know a word what -you're talking 'bout."</p> - -<p>"Shing 'bout 'Glory, glory, hallelulyah,'" -suggested Toddie, and I meekly obeyed. The -old air has a wonderful influence over me. I -heard it in western campmeetings and negro -cabins when I was a boy; I saw the 22nd -Massachusetts march down Broadway, singing -the same air during the rush to the front -in the early days of the war; I have heard it -sung by warrior tongues in nearly every -southern state; I heard it roared by three -hundred good old Hunker Democrats as they -escorted New York's first colored regiment to -their place of embarkation; my old brigade -sang it softly, but with a swing that was terrible -in its earnestness, as they lay behind their -stacks of arms just before going into action; -I have heard it played over the grave of many -a dead comrade; the semi-mutinous—th<span class="pagenum" id="Page_28">28</span> -cavalry became peaceful and patriotic again, -as their bandmaster played the old air after -having asked permission to try <i>his</i> hand on -them; it is the same that burst forth spontaneously -in our barracks, on that glorious -morning when we learned that the war was -over, and it was sung, with words adapted to -the occasion, by some good rebel friends of -mine, on our first social meeting after the -war. All these recollections came hurrying -into my mind as I sang, and probably excited -me beyond my knowledge. For Budge suddenly -remarked:—</p> - -<p>"Don't sing that all day, Uncle Harry; you -sing so loud, it hurts my head."</p> - -<p>"Beg your pardon, Budge," said I. "Good -night."</p> - -<p>"Why, Uncle Harry, are you going? You -didn't hear us say our prayers,—papa always -does."</p> - -<p>"Oh! Well, go ahead."</p> - -<p>"You must say yours first," said Budge; -"that's the way papa does."</p> - -<p>"Very well," said I, and I repeated St.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_29">29</span> -Chrysostom's prayer, from the Episcopal -service. I had hardly said "Amen," when -Budge remarked:—</p> - -<p>"My papa don't say any of them things at -all; I don't think that's a very good prayer."</p> - -<p>"Well, you say a good prayer, Budge."</p> - -<div class="figleft"><a name="p029"></a> -<img src="images/p029.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"WE HOPE HE'S GOT -LOTS OF CANDY"</div> -</div> - -<p>"All right." Budge shut his eyes, dropped -his voice to the -most perfect -tone of supplication, -while -his face seemed -fit for a sleeping -angel; then -he said:—</p> - -<p>"Dear Lord, -we thank you for lettin' us -have a good time to-day, -an' we hope all the little -boys everywhere have had -good times too. We pray -you to take care of us an' -everybody else to-night, an' don't let 'em -have any trouble. Oh, yes, an' Uncle Harry's<span class="pagenum" id="Page_30">30</span> -got some candy in his trunk, 'cos he said so -in the carriage,—we thank you for lettin' -Uncle Harry come to see us, an' we hope he's -got <i>lots</i> of candy—lots an' piles. An' we -pray you to take care of all the poor little -boys and girls that haven't got any papas -an' mammas an' Uncle Harrys an' candy an' -beds to sleep in. An' take us all to Heaven -when we die, for Christ's sake. Amen. Now -give us the candy, Uncle Harry."</p> - -<p>"Hush, Budge; don't Toddie say any -prayers?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes; go on, Tod."</p> - -<p>Toddie closed his eyes, wriggled, twisted, -breathed hard and quick, acting generally as -if prayers were principally a matter of physical -exertion. At last he began:—</p> - -<p>"Dee Lord, not make me sho bad, an' besh -mamma, an' papa, an' Budgie, an' doppity,<a name="FNanchor_1" id="FNanchor_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a> -an' both boggies,<a name="FNanchor_2" id="FNanchor_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> an' all good people in dish -house, an' everybody else, an' my dolly. -A—a—amen!"</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_1" id="Footnote_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Grandfather.</p></div> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_2" id="Footnote_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Grandmothers.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_31">31</span></p></div> - -<p>"Now give us the candy," said Budge, with -the usual echo from Toddie.</p> - -<p>I hastily extracted the candy from my -trunk, gave some to each boy, the recipients -fairly shrieking with delight, and once more -said good night.</p> - -<p>"Oh, you didn't give us any pennies," said -Budge. "Papa gives us some to put in our -banks, every night."</p> - -<p>"Well, I haven't got any now—wait until -to-morrow."</p> - -<p>"Then we want drinks."</p> - -<p>"I'll let Maggie bring you drink."</p> - -<p>"Want my dolly," murmured Toddie.</p> - -<p>I found the knotted towels, took the dirty -things up gingerly and threw them upon the -bed.</p> - -<p>"Now want to shee wheels go wound," -said Toddie.</p> - -<p>I hurried out of the room and slammed the -door. I looked at my watch—it was half-past -eight; I had spent an hour and a half -with those dreadful children. They <i>were</i> -funny, to be sure—I found myself laughing,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_32">32</span> -in spite of my indignation. Still, if they were -to monopolize my time as they had already -done, when was I to do my reading? Taking -Fiske's "Cosmic Philosophy" from my trunk, -I descended to the back parlor, lit a cigar and -a student-lamp, and began to read. I had -not fairly commenced when I heard a patter -of small feet, and saw my elder nephew before -me. There was sorrowful protestation -in every line of his countenance, as he exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"You didn't say 'Good-by,' nor 'God bless -you,' nor anything."</p> - -<p>"Oh—good-by."</p> - -<p>"Good-by."</p> - -<p>"God bless you."</p> - -<p>"God bless you."</p> - -<p>Budge seemed waiting for something else. -At last he said:—</p> - -<p>"Papa says, 'God bless everybody.'"</p> - -<p>"Well, God bless everybody."</p> - -<p>"God bless everybody," responded Budge, -and turned silently and went upstairs.</p> - -<p>"Bless your tormenting honest little heart."<span class="pagenum" id="Page_33">33</span> -I said to myself; "if men trusted God as you -do your papa, how little business there'd be -for preachers to do."</p> - -<p>The night was a perfect one. The pure, -fresh air, the perfume of the flowers, the music -of the insect choir in the trees and shrubbery—the -very season itself seemed to forbid -my reading philosophy, so I laid Fiske aside, -delighted myself with a few rare bits from -Paul Hayne's new volume of poems, read a -few chapters of "One Summer," and finally -sauntered off to bed. My nephews were slumbering -sweetly; it seemed impossible that the -pure, exquisite, angelic faces before me belonged -to my tormentors of a few hours before. -As I lay on my couch I could see the -dark shadow and rugged crest of the mountain; -above it, the silver stars against the -blue, and below it the rival lights of the fireflies -against the dark background formed by -the mountain itself. No rumbling of wheels -tormented me, nor any of the thousand noises -that fill city air with the spirit of unrest, and -I fell into a wonder almost indignant that<span class="pagenum" id="Page_34">34</span> -sensible, comfort-loving beings could live in -horrible New York, while such delightful -rural homes were so near at hand. Then -Alice Mayton came into my mind, and then -a customer; later, stars and trade-marks, and -bouquets, and dirty nephews, and fireflies -and bad accounts, and railway tickets, and -candy and Herbert Spencer, mixed themselves -confusingly in my mind. Then a vision -of a proud angel, in the most fashionable -attire and a modern carriage, came and banished -them all by its perfect radiance, and I -was sinking in the most blissful unconsciousness—</p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—h—h—h—oo—oo—oo—oo—ee—ee—e—"</p> - -<p>"Sh—h—h!" I hissed.</p> - -<p>The warning was heeded, and I soon relapsed -into oblivion.</p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—h—oo—oo—ee—<i>ee</i>—<span class="smcap">EE</span>—ee!"</p> - -<p>"Toddie, do you want your uncle to whip -you?"</p> - -<p>"No."</p> - -<p>"Then lie still."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_35">35</span></p> - -<p>"Well, I'ze lost my dolly, an' I tan't find -her anywhere."</p> - -<p>"Well, I'll find her for you in the morning."</p> - -<p>"Oo—oo—ee—I -want my -dolly."</p> - -<p>"Well, I tell -you I'll find her -for you in the -morning."</p> - -<p>"I want her -<i>now</i>—oo—oo—"</p> - -<p>"You can't -have her now, so -you can go to -sleep."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p035"></a> -<img src="images/p035.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">I ENCOUNTERED A DOOR AJAR</div> -</div> - -<p>"Oh—oo—oo—oo—ee—"</p> - -<p>Springing madly to my feet, I started for -the offender's room. I encountered a door -ajar by the way, my forehead being the first -to discover it. I ground my teeth, lit a -candle, and said something—no matter what.</p> - -<p>"Oh, you said a bad swear!" ejaculated Toddie; -"you won't go to heaven when you die."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_36">36</span></p> - -<p>"Neither will you, if you howl like a little -demon all night. Are you going to be quiet, -now?"</p> - -<p>"Yesh, but I wants my dolly."</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> don't know where your dolly is—do you -suppose I'm going to search this entire house -for that confounded dolly?"</p> - -<p>"<i>'Tain't</i> 'founded. I wants my dolly."</p> - -<p>"I don't know where it is. You don't -think I stole your dolly, do you?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I wants it, in de bed wif me."</p> - -<p>"Charles," said I, "when you arise in the -morning, I hope your doll will be found. At -present, however, you must be resigned and -go to sleep. I'll cover you up nicely"; here I -began to rearrange the bed clothing, when the -fateful dolly, source of all my woes, tumbled -out of them. Toddie clutched it, his whole -face lighting up with affectionate delight, and -he screamed:—</p> - -<p>"Oh, dare is my dee dolly; turn to your -own papa, dolly, an' I'll love you."</p> - -<p>And that ridiculous child was so completely -satisfied by his outlay of affection, that my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_37">37</span> -own indignation gave place to genuine artistic -pleasure. One <i>can</i> tire of even beautiful -pictures, though, when he is not fully awake, -and is holding a candle -in a draught of air; so -I covered my nephews -and returned to my own -room, where I mused upon the contradictoriness -of childhood until I fell asleep.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p037"></a> -<img src="images/p037.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">THE DOLLY FOUND</div> -</div> - -<p>In the morning I was awakened very early<span class="pagenum" id="Page_38">38</span> -by the light streaming in the window, the -blinds of which I had left open the night before. -The air was alive with bird-song, and -the eastern sky was flushed with tints which -no painter's canvas ever caught. But ante-sunrise -skies and songs are not fit subjects -for the continued contemplation of men who -read until midnight; so I hastily closed the -blinds, drew the shade, dropped the curtains -and lay down again, dreamily thanking -Heaven that I was to fall asleep to such exquisite -music. I am sure that I mentally -forgave all my enemies as I dropped off into -a most delicious doze, but the sudden realization -that a light hand was passing over my -cheek roused me to savage anger in an instant. -I sprang up, and saw Budge shrink -timidly away from my bedside.</p> - -<p>"I was only lovin' you, 'cos you was good, -and brought us candy. Papa lets us love him -whenever we want to—every morning he does."</p> - -<p>"As early as this?" demanded I.</p> - -<p>"Yes, just as soon as we can see, if we want -to."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_39">39</span></p> - -<p>Poor Tom! I never <i>could</i> comprehend -why, with a good wife, a comfortable income, -and a clear conscience, he need always look -thin and worn—worse than he ever did in -Virginia woods or Louisiana swamps. But -now I knew all. And yet, what could one -do? That child's eyes and voice, and his -expression, which exceeded in sweetness that -of any of the angels I had ever imagined,—that -child could coax a man to do more self-forgetting -deeds than the shortening of his -precious sleeping-hours amounted to. In -fact, he was fast divesting me of my rightful -sleepiness, so I kissed him and said:—</p> - -<p>"Run to bed, now, dear old fellow, and let -uncle go to sleep again. After breakfast I'll -make you a whistle."</p> - -<p>"Oh! will you?" The angel turned into a -boy at once.</p> - -<p>"Yes; now run along."</p> - -<p>"A <i>loud</i> whistle—a real loud one?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, but not if you don't go right back -to bed."</p> - -<p>The sound of little footsteps receded as I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_40">40</span> -turned over and closed my eyes. Speedily -the bird-song seemed to grow fainter; my -thoughts dropped to pieces; I seemed to be -floating on fleecy clouds, in company with -hundreds of cherubs with Budge's features -and night-drawers—</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry!"</p> - -<p>May the Lord forget the prayer I put up -just then!</p> - -<p>"I'll discipline you, my fine little boy," -thought I. "Perhaps, if I let you shriek -your abominable little throat hoarse, you'll -learn better than to torment your uncle, -that was just getting ready to love you -dearly."</p> - -<p>"Uncle Har—<i>ray</i>!"</p> - -<p>"Howl away, you little imp," thought I. -"You've got me wide awake, and your lungs -may suffer for it." Suddenly I heard, although -in sleepy tones, and with a lazy -drawl, some words which appalled me. The -murmurer was Toddie:—</p> - -<p>"Want—shee—wheels—go—wound."</p> - -<p>"Budge!" I shouted, in the desperation of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_41">41</span> -my dread lest Toddie, too, might wake up, -"what <i>do</i> you want?"</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry!"</p> - -<p>"WHAT!"</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, what kind of wood are you -going to make the whistle out of?"</p> - -<p>"I won't make any at all—I'll cut a big -stick and give -you a sound -whipping with it, -for not keeping -quiet, as I told -you to."</p> - -<p>"Why, Uncle -Harry, papa don't -whip us with -sticks—he spanks -us."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p041"></a> -<img src="images/p041.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"PAPA DON'T WHIP US WITH STICKS"</div> -</div> - -<p>Heavens! -Papa! papa! -papa! Was I -never to have -done with this eternal quotation of "papa"? I -was horrified to find myself gradually con<span class="pagenum" id="Page_42">42</span>ceiving -a dire hatred of my excellent brother-in-law. -One thing was certain, at any rate: -sleep was no longer possible; so I hastily -dressed and went into the garden. Among -the beauty and the fragrance of the flowers, -and in the delicious morning air, I succeeded -in regaining my temper, and was delighted, -on answering the breakfast-bell, two hours -later, to have Budge accost me with:—</p> - -<p>"Why, Uncle Harry, where was you? We -looked all over the house for you, and -couldn't find a speck of you."</p> - -<p>The breakfast was an excellent one. I -afterward learned that Helen, dear old girl, -had herself prepared a bill of fare for every -meal I should take in the house. As the -table talk of myself and nephews was not -such as could do harm by being repeated, I -requested Maggie, the servant, to wait upon -the children, and I accompanied my request -with a small treasury note. Relieved, thus, -of all responsibility for the dreadful appetites -of my nephews, I did full justice to the repast, -and even regarded with some interest and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_43">43</span> -amusement the industry of Budge and Toddie -with their tiny forks and spoons. They ate -rapidly for a while, but soon their appetites -weakened and their tongues were unloosed.</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy," remarked Toddie, "daysh -an awfoo funny chunt up 'tairs—awfoo <i>big</i> -chunt. I show it you after brepspup."</p> - -<p>"Toddie's a silly little boy," said Budge, -"he always says brepspup for brekbux."<a name="FNanchor_3" id="FNanchor_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a></p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_3" id="Footnote_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> Breakfast.</p></div> - -<p>"Oh! What does he mean by chunt, -Budge?"</p> - -<p>"I <i>guess</i> he means trunk," replied my oldest -nephew.</p> - -<p>Recollections of my childish delight in -rummaging an old trunk—it seems a century -ago that I did it—caused me to smile sympathetically -at Toddie, to his apparent great -delight. "How delightful it is to strike a -sympathetic chord in child nature," thought -I; "how quickly the infant eye comprehends -the look which precedes the verbal expression -of an idea? Dear Toddie! for years we might -sit at one table, careless of each other's words,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_44">44</span> -but the casual mention of one of thy delights -has suddenly brought our souls into that -sweetest of all human communions—that -one which doubtless bound the Master himself -to that apostle who was otherwise apparently -the weakest among the chosen -twelve." "An awfoo funny chunt" seemed -to annihilate suddenly all differences of age, -condition and experience between the wee -boy and myself, and——</p> - -<p>A direful thought struck me. I dashed up -stairs and into my room. Yes, he <i>did</i> mean -my trunk. <i>I</i> could see nothing funny about -it—quite the contrary. The bond of sympathy -between my nephew and myself was -suddenly broken. Looking at the matter -from the comparative distance which a few -weeks have placed between that day and -this, I can see that I was unable to consider -the scene before me with a calm and unprejudiced -mind. I am now satisfied that -the sudden birth and hasty decease of my -sympathy with Toddie were striking instances -of human inconsistency. My soul<span class="pagenum" id="Page_45">45</span> -had gone out to his because he loved to rummage -in trunks, and because I imagined he -loved to see the monument of incongruous -material which resulted from such an operation; -the scene before me showed clearly that -I had rightly divined my nephew's nature. -And yet my selfish instincts hastened to -obscure my soul's vision, and to prevent that -joy which should ensue when "faith is lost -in full fruition."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p045"></a> -<img src="images/p045.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">AN AMATEUR IN PACKING</div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_46">46</span></p> - -<p>My trunk had contained nearly everything, -for while a campaigner I had learned -to reduce packing to an exact science. Now, -had there been an atom of pride in my composition -I might have glorified myself, for it -certainly seemed as if the heap upon the -floor could never have come out of a single -trunk. Clearly, Toddie was more of a general -connoisseur than an amateur in packing. -The method of his work I quickly discerned, -and the discovery threw some light upon the -size of the heap in front of my trunk. A -dress hat and its case, when their natural -relationship is dissolved, occupy nearly twice -as much space as before, even if the former -contains a blacking-box not usually kept in -it, and the latter a few cigars soaking in bay -rum. The same might be said of a portable -dressing-case and its contents, bought for me -in Vienna by a brother ex-soldier, and designed -by an old Continental campaigner to -be perfection itself. The straps which prevented -the cover from falling entirely back -had been cut, broken or parted in some way<span class="pagenum" id="Page_47">47</span>, -and in its hollow lay my dress-coat, tightly -rolled up. Snatching it up with a violent -exclamation, and unrolling it, there dropped -from it—one of those infernal dolls. At the -same time a howl was sounded from the doorway.</p> - -<p>"You tookted my dolly out of her cradle—I -want to wock<a name="FNanchor_4" id="FNanchor_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a> my dolly—oo—oo—oo—ee—ee—ee—!"</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_4" id="Footnote_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Rock.</p></div> - -<p>"You young scoundrel!" I screamed—yes, -howled, I was so enraged—"I've a great -mind to cut your throat this minute. What -do you mean by meddling with my trunk?"</p> - -<p>"I—doe—know." Outward turned Toddie's -lower lip; I believe the sight of it would -move a Bengal tiger to pity, but no such -thought occurred to me just then.</p> - -<p>"What made you do it?"</p> - -<p>"<i>Be</i>—cause."</p> - -<p>"Because what?"</p> - -<p>"I—doe—know."</p> - -<p>Just then a terrific roar arose from the -garden. Looking out, I saw Budge with a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_48">48</span> -bleeding finger upon one hand, and my razor -in the other; he afterward explained he had -been making a boat, and that the knife was -bad to him. To apply adhesive plaster to -the cut was the work of but a minute, and -I had barely completed this surgical operation -when Tom's gardener-coachman appeared, -and handed me a letter. It was -addressed in Helen's well-known hand, and -read as follows (the passages in brackets -were my own comments):—</p> - -<blockquote> -<p> -"<span class="smcap">Bloomdale, June</span> 21, 1875.<br /> -</p> - -<p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Harry</span>:—I'm very happy in the thought -that you are with my darling children, and, although -I'm having a lovely time here, I often wish I was with -you. [Ump—so do I.] I want you to know the -little treasures real well. [Thank you, but I don't -think I care to extend the acquaintanceship farther -than is absolutely necessary.] It seems to me so unnatural -that relatives know so little of those of their -own blood, and especially of the innocent little spirits -whose existence is almost unheeded. [Not when -there's unlocked trunks standing about, sis.]</p> - -<p>"Now I want to ask a favor of you. When we were -boys and girls at home, you used to talk perfect oceans -about physiognomy, and phrenology, and unerring -signs of character. I thought it was all nonsense then, -but if you believe it now, I wish you'd study the children, -and give me your well-considered opinion of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_49">49</span> -them. [Perfect demons, ma'am; imps, rascals, born -to be hung—both of them.]</p> - -<p>"I can't get over the feeling that dear Budge is born -for something grand. [Grand nuisance.] He is sometimes -so thoughtful and so absorbed, that I almost -fear the result of disturbing him; then, he has that -faculty of perseverance which seems to be the only -thing some men have lacked to make them great. -[He certainly has it; he exemplified it while I was trying -to get to sleep this morning.]</p> - -<p>"Toddie is going to make a poet or a musician or an -artist. [That's so; all abominable scamps take to -some artistic pursuit as an excuse for loafing.] His -fancies take hold of him very strongly. [They do—they -do; "shee wheels go wound," for instance.] He -has not Budgie's sublime earnestness, but he doesn't -need it; the irresistible force with which he is drawn -toward whatever is beautiful compensates for the -lack. [Ah—perhaps that explains his operation with -my trunk.] But I want your <i>own</i> opinion, for I know -you make more careful distinction in character than -I do.</p> - -<p>"Delighting myself with the idea that I deserve -most of the credit for the lots of reading you will have -done by this time, and hoping I shall soon have a line -telling me how my darlings are, I am, as ever,</p> - -<p> -"Your loving sister,<br /> -"<span class="smcap">Helen</span>."<br /> -</p></blockquote> - -<p>Seldom have I been so roused by a letter -as I was by this one, and never did I promise -myself more genuine pleasure in writing a -reply. I determined that it should be a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_50">50</span> -masterpiece of analysis and of calm yet forcible -expression of opinion.</p> - -<p>Upon one step, at any rate, I was positively -determined. Calling the girl, I asked her -where the key was that locked the door between -my room and the children.</p> - -<p>"Please, sir, Toddie threw it down the -well."</p> - -<p>"Is there a locksmith in the village?"</p> - -<p>"No, sir; the nearest one is at Paterson."</p> - -<p>"Is there a screw-driver in the house?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, sir."</p> - -<p>"Bring it to me, and tell the coachman to -get ready at once to drive me to Paterson."</p> - -<p>The screw-driver was brought, and with it -I removed the lock, got into the carriage, -and told the driver to take me to Paterson -by the hill road—one of the most beautiful -roads in America.</p> - -<p>"Paterson!" exclaimed Budge. "Oh, -there's a candy store in that town; come on, -Toddie."</p> - -<p>"Will you?" thought I, snatching the whip -and giving the horses a cut. "Not if <i>I</i> can<span class="pagenum" id="Page_51">51</span> -help it. The idea of having such a drive -spoiled by the clatter of <i>such</i> a couple!"</p> - -<p>Away went the horses, and up went a piercing -shriek and a terrible roar. It seemed -that both children must have been mortally -hurt, and I looked out hastily, only to see -Budge and Toddie running after the carriage, -and crying pitifully. It was too pitiful,—I -could not have proceeded without them, even -if they had been inflicted with smallpox. The -driver stopped of his own accord,—he seemed -to know the children's ways and their results,—and -I helped Budge and Toddie in, -meekly hoping that the eye of Providence -was upon me, and that so self-sacrificing an -act would be duly passed to my credit. As -we reached the hill road, my kindness to my -nephews seemed to assume greater proportions, -for the view before me was inexpressibly -beautiful. The air was perfectly clear, -and across two score towns I saw the great -metropolis itself, the silent city of Greenwood -beyond it, the bay, the Narrows, the Sound, -the two silvery rivers lying between me and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_52">52</span> -the Palisades, and even, across and to the -south of Brooklyn, the ocean itself. Wonderful -effects of light and shadow, picturesque -masses, composed of detached buildings, so -far distant that they seemed huddled together; -grim factories turned to beautiful palaces -by the dazzling reflection of sunlight from -their window-panes; great ships seeming in -the distance to be toy boats floating idly;—with -no signs of life perceptible, the whole -scene recalled the fairy stories read in my -youthful days, of enchanted cities, and the -illusion was greatly strengthened by the -dragon-like shape of the roof of New York's -new post-office, lying in the center of everything, -and seeming to brood over all.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry!"</p> - -<p>Ah, that was what I expected!</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry!"</p> - -<p>"Well, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"I always think that looks like heaven."</p> - -<p>"What does?"</p> - -<p>"Why, all that,—from here over to that -other sky 'way back there behind everything<span class="pagenum" id="Page_53">53</span> -I mean. And I think <i>that</i> (here he pointed -toward what probably was a photographer's -roof-light)—that place where it's so shiny, is -where God stays."</p> - -<p>Bless the child! The scene had suggested -only elfindom to <i>me</i>, and yet I prided myself -on my quick sense of artistic effects.</p> - -<p>"An' over there where that awful bright -<i>little</i> speck is," continued Budge, "that's -where dear little brother Phillie is; whenever -I look over there, I see him putting his hand -out."</p> - -<p>"Dee 'ittle Phillie went to s'eep in a box, -and ze Lord took him to heaven," murmured -Toddie, putting together all he had seen and -heard of death. Then he raised his voice and -exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy, you know what Iz'he goin' -do when I be's big man? Iz'he goin' to -have hosses an' tarridge, an' Iz'he goin' to -wide over all ze chees an' all ze houses an' all -ze world an' ewyfing. An' whole lots of -little birdies is comin' in my tarridge an' sing -songs to me, an' you can come too if you want<span class="pagenum" id="Page_54">54</span> -to, an' we'll have <i>ice</i>-cream an' trawberries -an' see 'ittle fishes swimmin' down in ze water, -an' we'll get a g'eat big house that's all -p'itty on the outshide an' all p'itty on the -inshide, an' it'll all be ours an' we'll do just -ewyfing we want to."</p> - -<p>"Toddie, you're an idealist."</p> - -<p>"<i>Ain't</i> a 'dealisht."</p> - -<p>"Toddie's a goosey-gander," remarked -Budge, with great gravity. "Uncle Harry, -do you think heaven's as nice as that place -over there?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Budge, a great deal nicer."</p> - -<p>"Then why don't we die an' go there? I -don't want to go on livin' forever an' ever. -I don't see why we don't die right away; I -think we've lived enough of days."</p> - -<p>"The Lord wants us to live until we get -good and strong and smart, and do a great -deal of good before we die, old fellow—that's -why we don't die right away."</p> - -<p>"Well, I want to see dear little Phillie, an' -if the Lord won't let him come down here, I -think he might let me die an' go to heaven.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_55">55</span> -Little Phillie always laughed when I jumped -for him. Uncle Harry, angels has wings, -don't they?"</p> - -<p>"Some people think they have, old boy."</p> - -<p>"Well, I know they <i>don't</i>, 'cos if Phillie had -wings, I know he'd fly right down an' see me. -So they don't."</p> - -<p>"But maybe he has to go somewhere else, -Budge, or maybe he comes and you can't see -him. We can't see angels with <i>our</i> eyes, you -know."</p> - -<p>"Then what made the Hebrew children in -the fiery furnace see one? Their eyes was -just like ours, wasn't they? I don't care; I -want to see dear little Phillie <i>awful</i> much. -Uncle Harry, if I went to heaven, do you -know what I'd do?"</p> - -<p>"What <i>would</i> you do, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Why, after I saw little Phillie, I'd go -right up to the Lord an' give him a great big -hug."</p> - -<p>"What for, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, 'cos he lets us have nice times, an' -gave me my mamma an' papa, an' Phillie<span class="pagenum" id="Page_56">56</span>— -but he took him away again—an' Toddie, but -Toddie's a dreadful bad boy sometimes, -though."</p> - -<p>"Very true, Budge," said I, remembering -my trunk and the object of my ride.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, did you ever see the Lord?"</p> - -<p>"No, Budge; he has been very close to me -a good many times, but I never saw him."</p> - -<p>"Well, <i>I</i> have; I see him every time I look -up in the sky, and there ain't nobody with -me."</p> - -<p>The driver crossed himself and whispered, -"He's foriver a-sayin' that, an' be the powers, -I belave him. Sometimes ye'd think that -the howly saints themselves was a-spakin' -whin that bye gits to goin' on that way."</p> - -<p>It <i>was</i> wonderful. Budge's countenance -seemed too pure to be of the earth as he continued -to express his ideas of the better land -and its denizens. As for Toddie, his tongue -was going incessantly, although in a tone -scarcely audible; but when I chanced to -catch his expressions, they were so droll and -fanciful, that I took him upon my lap that I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_57">57</span> -might hear him more distinctly. I even detected -myself in the act of examining the -mental draft of my proposed letter to Helen, -and of being ashamed of it. But neither -Toddie's fancy nor Budge's spirituality -caused me to forget the principal object of -my ride. I found a locksmith and left the -lock to be fitted with a key; then we drove -to the Falls. Both boys discharged volleys -of questions as we stood by the gorge, and the -fact that the roar of the falling water prevented -me from hearing them did not cause -them to relax their efforts in the least. I -walked to the hotel for a cigar, taking the -children with me. I certainly spent no more -than three minutes in selecting and lighting -a cigar, and asking the barkeeper a few questions -about the Falls; but when I turned, the -children were missing, nor could I see them -in any direction. Suddenly, before my eyes, -arose from the nearer brink of the gorge two -yellowish disks, which I recognized as the -hats of my nephews; then I saw between the -disks and me two small figures lying upon the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_58">58</span> -ground. I -was afraid -to shout, for -fear of scaring -them if -they happened -to -hear me. I -bounded across the -grass, industriously -raving and praying by -turns. They were lying -on their stomachs and -looking over the edge -of the cliff. I approached -them on tiptoe, threw -myself upon the ground, and -grasped a foot of each child.</p> - -<p>"Oh, Uncle Harry!" screamed -Budge in my ear, as I dragged -him close to me, kissing and -shaking him alternately; "I -hunged over more than Toddie -did."</p> -<div class="figleft"><a name="p058"></a> -<img src="images/p058.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"I HUNGED OVER MORE THAN TODDIE DID"</div> -</div> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_59">59</span></p> - -<p>"Well, I—I—I—I—I—I—I—hunged over -a good deal, <i>any</i>how," said Toddie, in self-defense.</p> - -<p>That afternoon I devoted to making a bouquet -for Miss Mayton, and a most delightful -occupation I found it. It was no florist's -bouquet, composed of only a few kinds of -flowers, wired upon sticks, and arranged according -to geometric pattern. I used many -a rare flower, too shy of bloom to recommend -itself to florists; I combined tints almost as -numerous as the flowers were, and perfumes -to which city bouquets are utter strangers. -Arranging flowers is a favorite pastime of -mine, but upon this particular occasion I enjoyed -my work more than I had ever done -before. Not that I was in love with Miss -Mayton; a man may honestly and strongly -admire a handsome, brilliant woman without -being in love with her; he can delight himself -in trying to give her pleasure, without feeling -it necessary that she shall give him herself in -return. Since I arrived at years of discretion -I have always smiled sarcastically at the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_60">60</span> -mention of the generosity of men who were -in love; they have seemed to me rather to be -asking an immense price for what they offered. -I had no such feeling toward Miss Mayton. -There have been heathens who have offered -gifts to goddesses out of pure adoration and -without any idea of ever having the exclusive -companionship of their favorite divinities. I -never offered Miss Mayton any attention -which did not put me into closer sympathy -with these same great-souled old Pagans; and -with such Christians as follow their good example. -With each new grace my bouquet -took on, my pleasure and satisfaction increased -at the thought of how <i>she</i> would enjoy -the completed evidence of my taste.</p> - -<p>At length it was finished, but my delight -suddenly became clouded by the dreadful -thought, "What will folks say?" Had we -been in New York instead of Hillcrest, no one -but the florist, his messenger, the lady and -myself would know if I sent a bouquet to -Miss Mayton; but in Hillcrest, with its several -hundred native-born gossips, and its<span class="pagenum" id="Page_61">61</span> -acquaintance of everybody with everybody -else and their affairs—I feared talk. Upon -the discretion of Mike, the coachman, I could -safely rely; I had already confidentially conveyed -sundry bits of fractional currency to -him, and informed him of one of the parties -at our store whose family Mike had known in -Old Erin; but every one knew where Mike -was employed; every one knew—mysterious, -unseen and swift are the ways of communication -in the country!—that I was the only -gentleman at present residing at Colonel -Lawrence's. Ah!—I had it. I had seen in -one of the library drawers a small pasteboard -box, shaped like a bandbox—doubtless <i>that</i> -would hold it. I found the box—it was of -just the size I needed. I dropped my card -into the bottom—no danger of a lady not -finding the card accompanying a gift of flowers—neatly -fitted the bouquet in the center -of the box, and went in search of Mike. He -winked cheeringly as I explained the nature -of his errand, and he whispered:—</p> - -<p>"I'll do it as clane as a whistle, yer honor.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_62">62</span> -Mistress Clarkson's cook an' mesilf understhand -each other, an' I'm used to goin' up -the back way. Dhivil a man can see but the -angels, an' they won't tell."</p> - -<p>"Very well, Mike; here's a dollar for you; -you'll find the box on the hat-rack, in the -hall."</p> - -<p>Half an hour later, while I sat in my chamber -window, reading, I beheld Mike, cleanly -shaved, dressed and brushed, swinging up the -road, with my box balanced on one of his -enormous hands. With a head full of pleasing -fancies, I went down to supper. My new -friends were unusually good. Their ride -seemed to have toned down their boisterousness -and elevated their little souls; their appetites -exhibited no diminution of force, but -they talked but little, and all that they said -was smart, funny, or startling—so much so -that when, after supper, they invited me to -put them to bed, I gladly accepted the invitation. -Toddie disappeared somewhere, and -came back very disconsolate.</p> - -<p>"I can't find my dolly's k'adle," he whined.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_63">63</span></p> - -<p>"Never mind, old pet," said I, soothingly. -"Uncle will ride you on his foot."</p> - -<p>"But I <i>want</i> my dolly's k'adle," said he, -piteously rolling out his lower lip.</p> - -<p>I remembered my experience when Toddie -wanted to "shee wheels go wound," and I -trembled.</p> - -<p>"Toddie," said I, in a tone so persuasive -that it would be worth thousands a year to -me, as a salesman, if I could only command -it at will; "Toddie, don't you want to ride -on uncle's back?"</p> - -<p>"No; want my dolly's k'adle."</p> - -<p>"Don't you want me to tell you a story?"</p> - -<p>For a moment Toddie's face indicated a -terrible internal conflict between old Adam -and mother Eve, but curiosity finally overpowered -natural depravity, and Toddie murmured:—Yesh."</p> - -<p>"What shall I tell you about?"</p> - -<p>"'Bout Nawndeark."</p> - -<p>"About <i>what</i>?"</p> - -<p>"He means Noah an' the ark," exclaimed -Budge.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_64">64</span></p> - -<p>"Datsh what <i>I</i> shay—Nawndeark," declared -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Well," said I, hastily refreshing my memory -by picking up the Bible,—for Helen, like -most people, is pretty sure to forget to pack -her Bible when she runs away from home for -a few days,—"well, once it rained forty days -and nights, and everybody was drowned from -the face of the earth excepting Noah, a -righteous man, who was saved with all his -family, in an ark which the Lord commanded -him to build."</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, after contemplating -me with open eyes and mouth for at -least two minutes after I had finished, "do -you think that's Noah?"</p> - -<p>"Certainly, Budge; here's the whole story -in the Bible."</p> - -<p>"Well, <i>I</i> don't think it's Noah one single -bit," said he, with increasing emphasis.</p> - -<p>"I'm beginning to think we read different -Bibles, Budge; but let's hear <i>your</i> version."</p> - -<p>"Huh?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_65">65</span></p> - -<p>"Tell <i>me</i> about Noah, if you know so much -about him."</p> - -<p>"I will, if you want me to. Once the Lord -felt so uncomfortable 'cos folks was bad that -he was sorry he ever made anybody, or any -world or anything. But Noah wasn't bad—the -Lord liked him first-rate, so he told Noah -to build a big ark, and then the Lord would -make it rain so everybody should be drownded -but Noah an' his little boys an' girls, an' -doggies, an' pussies, an' mamma cows, an' -little-boy cows, an' little-girl cows, an' hosses, -an' everything—they'd go in the ark an' -wouldn't get wetted a bit, when it rained. -An' Noah took lots of things to eat in the -ark—cookies an' milk, an' oatmeal an' strawberries, -an' porgies an'—oh, yes; an' plum -puddin's an' pumpkin pies. But Noah didn't -want everybody to get drownded, so he -talked to folks an' said, 'It's goin' to rain -<i>awful</i> pretty soon; you'd better be good, an' -then the Lord'll let you come into my ark." -An' they jus' said 'Oh, if it rains we'll go in -the house till it stops'; an' other folks said,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_66">66</span> -'<i>We</i> ain't afraid of rain—we've got an umbrella.' -An' some more said, they wasn't -goin' to be afraid of just a rain. But it <i>did</i> -rain, though, an' folks went in their houses -an' the water came in, an' they got on the -tops of the houses, an' up in big trees, an' up -in mountains, an' the water went after 'em -everywhere an' drownded everybody, only -just except Noah and the people in the ark. -An' it rained forty days an' nights, an' then -it stopped, an' Noah got out of the ark, an' -he an' his little boys an' girls went wherever -they wanted to, an' everything in the world -was all theirs; there wasn't anybody to tell -'em to go home, nor no Kindergarten schools -to go to, nor no bad boys to fight 'em, nor -nothin'. Now tell us 'nother story."</p> - -<p>I determined that I would not again attempt -to repeat portions of the Scripture -narrative—my experience in that direction -had not been encouraging. I ventured upon -a war story.</p> - -<p>"Do you know what the war was?" I -asked, by way of reconnoissance.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_67">67</span></p> - -<p>"Oh, yes," said Budge, "papa was there -an' he's got a sword; don't you see it, hangin' -up there?"</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p067"></a> -<img src="images/p067.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption"> "WE'VE GOT AN UMBRELLA"</div> -</div> - -<p>Yes, I saw it, -and the difference -between the terrible -field where last -I saw Tom's sword -in action, and this -quiet room where -it now hung, forced -me into a reverie -from which I was -aroused by Budge -remarking:—</p> - -<p>"Ain't you goin' to tell us one?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes, Budge. One day while the war -was going on, there was a whole lot of soldiers -going along a road, and they were hungry as -they could be; they hadn't had anything to -eat that day."</p> - -<p>"Why didn't they go into the houses, and -tell the people they was hungry? That's -what <i>I</i> do when I goes along roads."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_68">68</span></p> - -<p>"Because the people in that country didn't -like them; the brothers and papas and husbands -of those people were soldiers, too; but -they didn't like the soldiers I told you about -first, and they wanted to kill them."</p> - -<p>"I don't think they were a bit nice," said -Budge, with considerable decision.</p> - -<p>"Well, the first soldiers wanted to kill <i>them</i>, -Budge."</p> - -<p>"Then they was <i>all</i> bad, to want to kill -each other."</p> - -<p>"Oh no, they weren't; there were a great -many real good men on both sides."</p> - -<p>Poor Budge looked sadly puzzled, as he -had an excellent right to do, since the wisest -and best men are sorely perplexed by the -nature of warlike feeling.</p> - -<p>"Both parties of soldiers were on horseback," -I continued, "and they were near -each other, and when they saw each other -they made their horses run fast, and the bugles -blew, and the soldiers all took their -swords out to kill each other with. Just then -a little boy, who had been out in the woods<span class="pagenum" id="Page_69">69</span> -to pick berries for his mamma, tried to run -across the road, and caught his toe some way, -and fell down and cried. Then somebody -hallooed 'Halt!' very loud, and all the horses -on one side stopped, and then somebody else -hallooed 'Halt!' and a lot of bugles blew, and -every horse on the other side stopped, and -one soldier jumped off his horse, and picked -up the little boy—he was only about as big -as you, Budge—and tried to comfort him, -and then a soldier from the other side came -up to look at him; and then more soldiers -came from both sides to look at him; and -when he got better and walked home, the -soldiers all rode away, because they didn't -feel like fighting just then."</p> - -<p>"O Uncle Harry! I think it was an <i>awful</i> -good soldier that got off his horse to take -care of that poor little boy."</p> - -<p>"Do you, Budge? who do you think it -was?"</p> - -<p>"I dunno."</p> - -<p>"It was your papa."</p> - -<p>"Oh—h—h—h—h!" If Tom could have<span class="pagenum" id="Page_70">70</span> -but seen the expression upon his boy's face -as he prolonged this exclamation, his loss of -one of the grandest chances a cavalry officer -ever had would not have seemed so great to -him as it had done for years. He seemed to -take in the story in all its bearings, and his -great eyes grew in depth as they took on the -far-away look which seemed too earnest for -the strength of an earthly being to support.</p> - -<p>But Toddie—he who a fond mamma -thought endowed with art sense—Toddie had -throughout my recital the air of a man who -was musing on some affair of his own, and -Budge's exclamation had hardly died away, -when Toddie commenced to weave aloud an -extravaganza wholly his own.</p> - -<p>"When <i>I</i> was a soldier," he remarked, very -gravely, "I had a coat an' a hat on, an' a -muff, an' a little knake<a name="FNanchor_5" id="FNanchor_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a> wound my neck to -keep me warm, an' it wained, an' hailed, an' -'tormed, an' I felt bad, so I whallowed a -sword an' burned me all down dead."</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_5" id="Footnote_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> Snake: tippet.</p></div> - -<p>"And how did you get here?" I asked,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_71">71</span> -with interest proportioned to the importance -of Toddie's last clause.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I got up from the burn-down dead, -an' <i>comed</i> right here. I want my dolly's -k'adle."</p> - -<p>O persistent little dragon! If you were of -age, what a fortune you might make in business!</p> -<div class="figright"><a name="p071"></a> -<img src="images/p071.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"WHEN I WAS A SOLDIER," REMARKED -TODDIE</div> -</div> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, -I wish my papa -would come -home right -away," said -Budge.</p> - -<p>"Why, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"I want to love -him for bein' so -good to that -poor little boy in -the war."</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy, -I wants my -dolly's k'adle, 'tause my dolly's in it, an' I -want to shee her"; thus spake Toddie.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_72">72</span></p> - -<p>"Don't you think the Lord loved my papa -awful much for doin' that sweet thing, Uncle -Harry?" asked Budge.</p> - -<p>"Yes, old fellow, I feel sure that he did."</p> - -<p>"Lord lovesh my papa vewy much, so I -love ze Lord vewy much," remarked Toddie. -"An' I wants my dolly's k'adle an' my -dolly."</p> - -<p>"Toddie, I don't know where either of -them are—I can't find them now—<i>do</i> wait -until morning, when Uncle Harry will look -for them."</p> - -<p>"I don't see how the Lord can get along -in heaven without my papa, Uncle Harry," -said Budge.</p> - -<p>"Lord takesh papa to heaven, an' Budge -an' me, and we'll go walkin' an' see ze Lord, -an play wif ze angels' wings, an hazh good -timsh, an' never have to go to bed at all, at -all."</p> - -<p>Pure-hearted little innocents! compared -with older people whom we endure, how great -thy faith and how few thy faults! How -superior thy love——</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_73">73</span></p> - -<p>A knock at the door interrupted me. -"Come in!" I shouted.</p> - -<p>In stepped Mike, with an air of the greatest -secrecy, handed me a letter and the identical -box in which I had sent the flowers to -Miss Mayton. What <i>could</i> it mean? I -hastily opened the envelope, and at the same -time Toddie shrieked:—</p> - -<p>"Oh, darsh my dolly's k'adle—dare tizh!" -snatched and opened the box, and displayed—his -doll! My heart sickened, and did <i>not</i> -regain its strength during the perusal of the -following note:—</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p>"Miss Mayton herewith returns to Mr. Burton the -package which just arrived, with his card. She recognizes -the contents as a portion of the apparent property -of one of Mr. Burton's nephews, but is unable to -understand why it should have been sent to her.</p> - -<p> -"<span class="smcap">June 20, 1875.</span>"<br /> -</p></blockquote> - -<p>"Toddie," I roared, as my younger nephew -caressed his loathsome doll, and murmured -endearing words to it, "where did you get -that box?"</p> - -<p>"On the hat-wack," replied the youth, -with perfect fearlessness. "I keeps it in ze<span class="pagenum" id="Page_74">74</span> -book-case djawer, and somebody took it -'way, and put nasty ole flowers in it."</p> - -<p>"Where are those flowers?" I demanded.</p> - -<p>Toddie looked up with considerable surprise, -but promptly replied:—</p> - -<p>"I froed 'em away—don't want no ole -flowers in my dolly's k'adle. That's ze way -she wocks—see!" And the horrible little -destroyer of human hopes rolled that box -back and forth with the most utter unconcern, -as he spoke endearing words to the substitute -for my beautiful bouquet!</p> - -<p>To say that I looked at Toddie reprovingly -is to express my feelings in the most inadequate -language, but of language in which to -express my feelings to Toddie, I could find -absolutely none. Within two or three short -moments I had discovered how very anxious -I really was to merit Miss Mayton's regard, -and how very different was the regard I -wanted from that which I had previously -hoped might be accorded me. It seemed too -ridiculous to be true that I, who had for years -had dozens of charming lady acquaintances,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_75">75</span> -and yet had always maintained my common -sense and self-control; I, who had always -considered it unmanly for a man to specially -interest himself in <i>any</i> lady until he had an -income of five thousand a year; I, who had -skilfully, and many times, argued that life -attachments, or attempts thereat, which were -made without a careful preliminary study of -the mental characteristics of the partner desired, -were the most unpardonable folly,—<i>I</i> -had transgressed every one of my own rules, -and, as if to mock me for any pretended wisdom -and care, my weakness was made known -to me by a three-year-old marplot and a hideous -rag doll!</p> - -<p>That merciful and ennobling dispensation -by which Providence enables us to temper -the severity of our own sufferings by alleviating -those of others, came soon to my rescue. -Under my stern glance, Toddie gradually lost -interest in his doll and its cradle, and began -to thrust forth and outward his piteous lower -lip, and to weep copiously.</p> - -<p>"Dee Lord not make me sho bad," he cried<span class="pagenum" id="Page_76">76</span> -through his tears. I doubt his having had -any very clear idea of what he was saying, or -whom he was addressing; but had the publican -of whose prayer Toddie made so fair a -paraphrase worn such a face when he offered -his famous petition, it could not have been -denied for a moment. Toddie even retired -to a corner, and hid his face in self-imposed -penance.</p> - -<p>"Never mind, Toddie," said I sadly; "you -didn't mean to do it, I know."</p> - -<p>"I wantsh to love you," sobbed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Well, come here, you poor little fellow," -said I, opening my arms, and wondering -whether 'twas not after contemplation of -some such sinner that good Bishop Tegner -wrote:—</p> - -<p> -"Depths of love are atonement's depths, for love is atonement."<br /> -</p> - -<p>Toddie came to my arms, shed tears freely -upon my shirt-front, and finally, after heaving -a very long sigh, remarked:—</p> - -<p>"Wantsh <i>you</i> to love <i>me</i>."</p> - -<p>I complied with his request. Theoretically<span class="pagenum" id="Page_77">77</span> -I had long believed that the higher wisdom -of the Creator was most frequently expressed -through the medium of his most innocent -creations. Surely here was a confirmation of -my theory, for who else had ever practically -taught me the duty of the injured one toward -his offender? I kissed Toddie and petted -him, and at length succeeded in quieting him; -his little face, in spite of much dirt and many -tear-stains, was upturned with more of -beauty in it than it ever held when its owner -was full of joy; he looked earnestly, confidingly, -into my eyes, and I congratulated myself -upon the perfection of my forgiving spirit, -when Toddie suddenly re-exhibited to me my -old unregenerate nature, and the incompleteness -of my forgiveness, by saying:—</p> - -<p>"Kish my dolly, too."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p079"></a> -<img src="images/p079.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"KISH MY DOLLY, TOO"</div> -</div> - -<p>I obeyed. My forgiveness was made complete, -but so was my humiliation. I abruptly -closed our interview. We exchanged "God -bless you's," according to Budge's instructions -of the previous night, and at least one -of the participants in this devotional exercise<span class="pagenum" id="Page_78">78</span> -hoped the petitions made by the other were -distinctly heard. Then I dropped into an -easy-chair in the library, and fell to thinking. -I found myself really and seriously troubled -by the results of Toddie's operation with my -bouquet. I might explain the matter to Miss -Mayton—I undoubtedly could, for she was -too sensible a woman to be easily offended -merely by a ridiculous mistake, caused by a -child. But she would laugh at <i>me</i>—how -could she help it?—and to be laughed at by -Miss Mayton was a something, the mere -thought of which tormented me in a manner -that made me fairly ashamed of myself. Like -every other young man among young men, I -had been the butt of many a rough joke, and -had borne them without wincing; it seemed -cowardly and contemptible that I should be -so sensitive under the mere thought of laughter -which would probably be heard by no one -but Miss Mayton herself. But the laughter -of a mere acquaintance is likely to lessen respect -for the person laughed at. Heavens! -the thought was unendurable! At any rate,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_79">79</span> -I must write an early apology. When I was -correspondent for the house with which I am -now salesman, I reclaimed many an old customer -who had wandered off—certainly I -might hope, by a well-written letter, to regain -in Miss Mayton's respect whatever position I -had lost. I hastily drafted a letter, corrected -it carefully, copied it in due form, and for<span class="pagenum" id="Page_80">80</span>warded -it by the faithful Michael. Then I -tried to read, but without the least success. -For hours I paced the piazza and consumed -cigars; when at last I retired it was with -many ideas, hopes, fears, and fancies which -had never before been mine. True to my -trust, I looked into my nephews' room; there -lay the boys, in postures more graceful than -any which brush or chisel have ever reproduced. -Toddie, in particular, wore so lovely -an expression that I could not refrain from -kissing him. But I was none the less careful -to make use of my new key, and to lock my -other door also.</p> - -<p>The next day was the Sabbath. Believing -fully in the binding force and worldly wisdom -of the Fourth Commandment, so far as it -refers to rest, I have conscientiously trained -myself to sleep two hours later on the morning -of the holy day than I ever allowed myself -to do on business days. But having inherited, -besides a New England conscience, -a New England abhorrence of waste, I regularly -sit up two hours later on Saturday<span class="pagenum" id="Page_81">81</span> -nights than on any others; and the night -preceding this particular Sabbath was no -exception to the rule, as the reader may -imagine from the foregoing recital. At about -5.30 <span class="smcap">A.M.</span>, however, I became conscious that -my nephews were not in accord with me on the -Sinaitic law. They were not only awake, but -were disputing vigorously, and, seemingly -very loudly, for I heard their words quite distinctly. -With sleepy condescension I endeavored -to ignore these noisy irreverents, -but I was suddenly moved to a belief in the -doctrine of vicarious atonement, for a flying -body, with more momentum than weight, -struck me upon the not prominent bridge of -my nose, and speedily and with unnecessary -force accommodated itself to the outline of -my eyes. After a moment spent in anguish, and -in wondering how the missive came through -closed doors and windows, I discovered that -my pain had been caused by one of the dolls, -which from its extreme uncleanness, I suspected -belonged to Toddie; I also discovered -that the door between the rooms was open.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_82">82</span></p> - -<p>"Who threw that doll?" I shouted, sternly.</p> - -<p>There came no response.</p> - -<p>"Do you hear?" I roared.</p> - -<p>"What is it, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge, -with most exquisitely polite inflection.</p> - -<p>"Who threw that doll?"</p> - -<p>"Huh?"</p> - -<p>"I say, who threw that doll?"</p> - -<p>"Why, nobody did it."</p> - -<p>"Toddie, who threw that doll?"</p> - -<p>"Budge did," replied Toddie, in muffled -tones, suggestive of a brotherly hand laid -forcibly over a pair of small lips.</p> - -<p>"Budge, what did you do it for?"</p> - -<p>"Why—why—I—because—why, you see—because, -why, Toddie froo his dolly in my -mouth; some of her hair went in, anyhow, -an' I didn't want his dolly in my mouth, so I -sent it back to him, an' the foot of the bed -didn't stick up enough, so it went froo the -door to your bed—that's what for."</p> - -<p>The explanation seemed to bear marks of -genuineness, albeit the pain in my eye was -not alleviated thereby, while the exertion ex<span class="pagenum" id="Page_83">83</span>pended -in eliciting the information had so -thoroughly awakened me that further sleep -was out of the question. Besides, the open -door—had a burglar been in the room? No, -my watch and pocket-book were undisturbed.</p> - -<p>"Budge, who opened that door?"</p> - -<p>After some hesitation, as if wondering who -really did it, Budge replied:—</p> - -<p>"Me."</p> - -<p>"How did you do it?"</p> - -<p>"Why, you see we wanted a drink, an' the -door was fast, so we got out the window on -the parazzo roof, an' comed in your window." -(Here a slight pause.) "An' 'twas fun. An' -then we unlocked the door, an' comed back."</p> - -<p>Then I should be compelled to lock my -window blinds—or theirs, and this in the -summer season, too! Oh, if Helen could -have but passed the house as that white-robed -procession had filed along the piazza roof! I -lay pondering over the vast amount of unused -ingenuity that was locked up in millions -of children, or employed only to work misery -among unsuspecting adults, when I heard<span class="pagenum" id="Page_84">84</span> -light footfalls at my bedside, and saw a -small shape with a grave face approach and -remark:</p> - -<p>"I wants to come in your bed."</p> - -<p>"What for, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"To fwolic; papa always fwolics us Sunday -mornin's. Tum, Budgie, Ocken Hawwy's -doin' to fwolic us."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p085"></a> -<img src="images/p085.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">TWO LITTLE SAVAGES</div> -</div> - -<p>Budge replied by shrieking with delight, -tumbling out of bed, and hurrying to that -side of my bed not already occupied by Toddie. -Then those two little savages sounded -the onslaught and advanced precipitately -upon me. Sometimes, during the course of -my life, I have had day-dreams which I have -told to no one. Among these has been one—not -now so distinct as it was before my four -years of campaigning—of one day meeting in -deadly combat the painted Indian of the -plains; of listening undismayed to his frightful -war-whoop, and of exemplifying in my -own person the inevitable result of the paleface's -superior intelligence. But upon this -particular Sunday morning I relinquished<span class="pagenum" id="Page_85">85</span> -this idea informally but forever. Before the -advance of these diminutive warriors I -quailed contemptibly, and their battle-cry -sent more terror to my soul than that member -ever experienced from the well-remembered -rebel yell. According to Toddie, I was -going to "fwolic" <i>them</i>; but from the first -they took the whole business into their own -little but effective hands. Toddie pronounced -my knees, collectively, "a horsie-bonnie."<span class="pagenum" id="Page_86">86</span> -and bestrode them, laughing gleefully at my -efforts to unseat him, and holding himself in -position by digging his pudgy fingers into -whatever portions of my anatomy he could -most easily seize. Budge shouted," I want -a horsie, too!" and seated himself upon my -chest. "This is the way the horsie goes," -explained he, as he slowly rocked himself -backward and forward. I began to realize -how my brother-in-law, who had once been a -fine gymnast, had become so flat-chested. -Just then Budge's face assumed a more spirited -expression, his eyes opened wide and -lighted up, and shouting," This the way the -horsie <i>trots</i>," he stood upright, threw up his -feet, and dropped his forty-three avoirdupois -pounds forcibly upon my lungs. He repeated -this operation several times before I -fully recovered from the shock conveyed by -his combined impudence and weight; but -pain finally brought my senses back, and -with a wild plunge I unseated my demoniac -riders and gained a clear space in the middle -of the floor.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_87">87</span></p> - -<p>"Ah—h—h—h—h—h—h!" screamed Toddie; -"I wants to ride horshie backen."</p> - -<p>"Boo—oo—oo—oo—!" roared Budge; "I -think you're real mean. I don't love you at -all."</p> - -<p>Regardless alike of Toddie's desires, of -Budge's opinion and the cessation of his regard, -I performed a hasty toilet. Notwithstanding -my lost rest, I savagely thanked the -Lord for Sunday; at church, at least, I could -be free from my tormentors. At the breakfast -table both boys invited themselves to -accompany me to the sanctuary, but I declined, -without thanks. To take them might -be to assist somewhat in teaching them one -of the best habits, but I strongly doubted -whether the severest Providence would consider -it my duty to endure the probable consequences -of such an attempt. Besides I -<i>might</i> meet Miss Mayton. I both hoped and -feared I might, and I could not endure the -thought of appearing before her with the -causes of my pleasant <i>remembrance</i>. Budge -protested, and Toddie wept, but I remained<span class="pagenum" id="Page_88">88</span> -firm, although I was so willing to gratify their -reasonable desires that I took them out for a -long ante-service walk. While enjoying this -little trip I delighted the children by killing -a snake and spoiling a slender cane at the -same time, my own sole consolation coming -from the discovery that the remains of the -staff were sufficient to make a cane for Budge. -While returning to the house and preparing -for church I entered into a solemn agreement -with Budge, who was usually recognized as -the head of this fraternal partnership. Budge -contracted, for himself and brother, to make -no attempts to enter my room; to refrain -from fighting; to raise loose dirt only with a -shovel, and to convey it to its destination by -means other than their own hats and aprons; -to pick no flowers; to open no water-faucets; -to refer all disagreements to the cook, as -arbitrator, and to build no houses of the new -books which I had stacked upon the library -table. In consideration of the promised -faithful observance of these conditions, I -agreed that Budge should be allowed to come<span class="pagenum" id="Page_89">89</span> -alone to Sabbath-school, which convened -directly after morning service, he to start -only after Maggie had pronounced him duly -cleansed and clothed. As Toddie was daily -kept in bed from eleven till one, I felt that I -might safely worship without distracting -fears, for Budge could not alone, and in a single -hour, become guilty of any particular sin. -The church at Hillcrest had many more seats -than members, and as but few summer visitors -had yet appeared in the town, I was -conscious of being industriously stared at by -the native members of the congregation. -This was of itself discomfort enough, but not -all to which I was destined, for the usher conducted -me quite near to the altar, and -showed me into a pew whose only other occupant -was Miss Mayton! Of course the lady -did not recognize me—she was too carefully -bred to do anything of the sort in church, and -I spent ten uncomfortable minutes in mentally -abusing the customs of good society. -The beginning of the service partially ended -my uneasiness, for I had no hymn-book—the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_90">90</span> -pew contained none—so Miss Mayton kindly -offered me a share in her own. And yet so -faultlessly perfect and stranger-like was her -manner that I wondered whether her action -might not have been prompted merely by a -sense of Christian duty; had I been the Khan -of Tartary she could not have been more -polite and frigid. The music to the first hymn -was an air I had never heard before, so I -stumbled miserably through the tenor, although -Miss Mayton rendered the soprano -without a single false note. The sermon was -longer than I was in the habit of listening to, -and I was frequently conscious of not listening -at all. As for my position and appearance, -neither ever seemed so insignificant as -they did throughout the entire service.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p091"></a> -<img src="images/p091.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">MY NEPHEW BUDGE IN HIS BEST</div> -</div> - -<p>The minister reached "And finally, dear -brethren," with my earnest prayers for a successful -and speedy finale. It seemed to me -that the congregation sympathized with me, -for there was a general rustle behind me as -these words were spoken. It soon became -evident, however, that the hearers were<span class="pagenum" id="Page_91">91</span> -moved by some other feeling, for I heard a -profound titter or two behind me. Even -Miss Mayton turned her head with more -alacrity than was consistent with that grace -which usually characterized her motions, and -the minister himself made a pause of unusual -length, I turned in my seat, and saw my -nephew Budge, dressed in his best, his head -irreverently covered, and his new cane swinging -in the most stylish manner. He paused<span class="pagenum" id="Page_92">92</span> -at each pew, carefully surveyed its occupants, -seemed to fail in finding the object of his -search, but continued his efforts in spite of -my endeavors to catch his eye. Finally he -recognized a family acquaintance, and to him -he unburdened his bosom by remarking, in -tones easily heard throughout the church:—</p> - -<p>"I want to find my uncle."</p> - -<p>Just then he caught my eye, smiled rapturously, -hurried to me, and laid his rascally soft -cheek confidingly against mine, while an -audible sensation pervaded the church. What -to do or say to him I scarcely knew; but my -quandary was turned to wonder, as Miss -Mayton, her face full of ill-repressed mirth, -but her eyes full of tenderness, drew the little -scamp close to her, and kissed him soundly. -At the same instant, the minister, not without -some little hesitation, said, "Let us -pray." I hastily bowed my head, glad of a -chance to hide my face; but as I stole a -glance at the cause of this irreligious disturbance, -I caught Miss Mayton's eye. She was -laughing so violently that the contagion was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_93">93</span> -unavoidable, and I laughed all the harder as -I felt that one mischievous boy had undone -the mischief caused by another.</p> - -<p>After the benediction, Budge was the recipient -of a great deal of attention, during the -confusion of which I embraced the opportunity -to say to Miss Mayton:—</p> - -<p>"Do you still sustain my sister in her opinion -of my nephews, Miss Mayton?"</p> - -<p>"I think they're too funny for anything," -replied the lady, with great enthusiasm. "I -<i>do</i> wish you would bring them to call upon -me. I'm longing to see an <i>original</i> young -gentleman."</p> - -<p>"Thank you," said I. "And I'll have -Toddie bring a bouquet by way of atonement."</p> - -<p>"Do," she replied, as I allowed her to pass -from the pew. The word was an insignificant -one, but it made me happy once more.</p> - -<p>"You see, Uncle Harry," exclaimed Budge, -as we left the church together, "the Sunday-school -wasn't open yet, an' I wanted to hear -if they'd sing again in church; so I came in,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_94">94</span> -an' you wasn't in papa's seat, an' I knew you -was <i>some</i>where, so I <i>looked</i> for you."</p> - -<p>"Bless you," thought I, snatching him into -my arms as if to hurry him into Sabbath-school, -but really to give him a kiss of -grateful affection, "you did right—<i>exactly</i> -right."</p> - -<p>My Sunday dinner was unexceptional in -point of quantity and quality, and a bottle of -my brother-in-law's claret proved to be the -most excellent; yet a certain uneasiness of -mind prevented my enjoying the meal as -thoroughly as under other circumstances I -might have done. My uneasiness came of a -mingled sense of responsibility and ignorance. -I felt that it was the proper thing for me to -see that my nephews spent the day with some -sense of the requirements and duties of the -Sabbath; but how I was to bring it about I -hardly knew. The boys were too small to -have Bible-lessons administered to them, and -they were too lively to be kept quiet by any -ordinary means. After a great deal of -thought, I determined to consult the children<span class="pagenum" id="Page_95">95</span> -themselves, and try to learn what their parents' -custom had been.</p> - -<p>"Budge," said I, "what do you do Sundays -when your papa and mamma are home? What -do they read to you—what do they talk about?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, they swing us—lots!" said Budge, -with brightening eyes.</p> - -<p>"An' zey takes us to get jacks," observed -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes!" exclaimed Budge; "jacks-in-the-pulpit,—don't -you know?"</p> - -<p>"Hum—ye—es; I do remember some such -thing in my youthful days; they grow where -there's plenty of mud, don't they?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, an' there's a brook there, an' ferns, an' -birchbark, an' if you don't look out you'll tumble -into the brook when you go to get birch."</p> - -<p>"An' we goes to Hawksnest Rock," piped -Toddie, "an' papa carries us up on his back -when we gets tired."</p> - -<p>"An' he makes us whistles," said Budge.</p> - -<p>"Budge," said I, rather hastily, "enough. -In the language of the poet</p> - -<p> -'These earthly pleasures I resign'<br /> -</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_96">96</span></p> - -<p>and I'm rather astonished that your papa -hasn't taught you to do likewise. Don't he -ever read to you?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes," cried Budge, clapping his hands -as a happy thought struck him. "He gets -down the Bible—the great <i>big</i> Bible, you -know—an' we all lay on the floor, an' he -reads us stories out of it. There's David, an' -Noah, an' when Christ was a little boy, an' -Joseph, an' turn back Pharo's army hallelujah——"</p> - -<p>"And what?"</p> - -<p>"TurnbackPharo'sarmyhallelujah," repeated -Budge. "Don't you know how Moses -held his cane out over the Red Sea, an' the -water went 'way up one side, an' 'way up the -other side, and all the Isrulites went across? -It's just the same thing as <i>drown</i> old Pharo's -army hallelujah—don't you know."</p> - -<p>"Budge," said I; "I suspect you of having, -heard the Jubilee Singers."</p> - -<p>"Oh, an' papa an' mamma sings us all -those jubilee songs—there's 'Swing Low,' an' -'Roll Jordan,' an' 'Steal Away,' an' 'My<span class="pagenum" id="Page_97">97</span> -Way's Cloudy,' an' 'Get on Board, Childuns,' -an' lots. An' you can sing us every one of -'em."</p> - -<p>"An' papa takes us in the woods and -makesh us canes," said Toddie.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p097"></a> -<img src="images/p097.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">PUTTING AN EXTENSION ON THE AFTERNOON</div> -</div> - -<p>"Yes," said Budge, "and where there's -new houses buildin', he takes us up ladders."</p> - -<p>"Has he any way of putting an extension -on the afternoon?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"I don't know what that is," said Budge, -"but he puts an India-rubber blanket on the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_98">98</span> -grass, and then we all lie down and make -b'lieve we're soldiers asleep. Only sometimes -when we wake up, papa stays asleep, -an' mamma won't let us wake him. I don't -think that's a very nice play."</p> - -<p>"Well, I think Bible stories are nicer than -anything else, don't you?"</p> - -<p>Budge seemed somewhat in doubt. "I -think swingin' is nicer," said he—"oh, no;—let's -get some jacks—<i>I'll</i> tell you what!—make -us whistles, an' we can blow on 'em -while we're goin' to get the jacks. Toddie, -dear, wouldn't <i>you</i> like jacks an' whistles?"</p> - -<p>"Yesh—an' swingin'—an' birch—an' -wantsh to go to Hawksnesh Rock," answered -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Let's have Bible stories first," said I. -"The Lord mightn't like it if you didn't learn -anything good to-day."</p> - -<p>"Well," said Budge, with the regulation -religious-matter-of-duty face, "let's. I guess -I like 'bout Joseph best."</p> - -<p>"Tell us 'bout Bliaff," suggested Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Oh, no, Tod," remonstrated Budge; "Jo<span class="pagenum" id="Page_99">99</span>seph's -coat was just as bloody as Goliath's -head was." Then Budge turned to me and -explained that "all Tod likes Goliath for is -'cause when his head was cut off it was all -bloody." And then Toddie—the airy sprite -whom his mother described as being irresistibly -drawn to whatever was beautiful—Toddie -glared upon me, as a butcher's apprentice -might stare at a doomed lamb, and remarked:—</p> - -<p>"Bliaff's head was all bluggy, an' David's -sword was all bluggy—bluggy as everyfing."</p> - -<p>I hastily breathed a small prayer, opened -the Bible, turned to the story of Joseph, and -audibly condensed it, as I read:</p> - -<p>"Joseph was a good little boy, whose papa -loved him very dearly. But his brothers -didn't like him. And they sold him to go to -Egypt. And he was very smart, and told -people what their dreams meant, and he got -to be a great man. And his brothers went to -Egypt to buy corn, and Joseph sold them -some, and then he let them know who he was. -And he sent them home to bring their papa<span class="pagenum" id="Page_100">100</span> -to Egypt, and then they all lived there together."</p> - -<p>"That ain't it," remarked Toddie, with the -air of a man who felt himself to be unjustly -treated. "Is it, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, no," said Budge, "you didn't read it -good a bit; <i>I'll</i> tell you how it is. Once there -was a little boy named Joseph, an' he had -eleven budders—they was <i>awful</i> eleven budders. -An' his papa gave him a new coat, an' -his budders hadn't nothin' but their old jackets -to wear. An' one day he was carrying -'em their dinner, an' they put him in a deep, -dark hole, but they didn't put his nice new -coat in—they killed a kid, an' dipped the -coat—just think of doin' that to a nice new -coat—they dipped it in the kid's blood, an' -made it all bloody."</p> - -<p>"All bluggy," echoed Toddie, with ferocious -emphasis. Budge continued:—</p> - -<p>"But there were some Ishmalites comin' -along that way, and the awful eleven budders -took him out of the deep, dark hole, an' sold -him to the Ishmalites, an' they sold him away<span class="pagenum" id="Page_101">101</span> -down in Egypt. An' his poor old papa cried, -an' cried, an' cried, 'cause he thought a big -lion ate Joseph up; but he wasn't ate up a -bit; but there wasn't no post-office nor choo-choos,<a name="FNanchor_6" id="FNanchor_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> -nor stages in Egypt, an' there wasn't -any telegraphs, so Joseph couldn't let his -papa know where he was; an' he got so smart -an' so good that the king of Egypt let him -sell all the corn an' take care of the money; -'an one day some men came to buy some -com, an' Joseph looked at 'em 'an they was -his own budders! An' he scared 'em like -everything; <i>I'd</i> have <i>slapped</i> 'em all if <i>I'd</i> -been Joseph, but he just scared 'em, an' then -he let 'em know who he was, an' he kissed 'em -an' he didn't whip 'em, or make 'em go without -their breakfast, or stand in a corner, nor -none of them things; an' then he sent them -back for their papa, an' when he saw his papa -comin', he ran like everything, and gave him -a great big hug and a kiss. Joseph was too -big to ask him if he'd brought him any candy, -but he was awful glad to see him. An' the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_102">102</span> -king gave Joseph's papa a nice farm, an' they -all had real good times after that."</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_6" id="Footnote_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Railway cars.</p></div> - -<p>"An' they dipped the coat in the blood, an' -made it all bluggy," reiterated Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "what do you -think <i>my</i> papa would do, if he thought I was -all ate up by a lion? I guess he'd cry <i>awful</i>, -don't you? Now tell us another story—oh, -<i>I'll</i> tell you—read us 'bout—"</p> - -<p>"'Bout Bliaff," interrupted Toddie.</p> - -<p>"<i>You</i> tell <i>me</i> about him, Toddie," said I.</p> - -<p>"Why," said Toddie, "Bliaff was a brate -bid man, an' Dave was brate little man, an' -Bliaff said, 'Come over here, an' I'll eat you -up,' an' Dave said, '<i>I</i> ain't fyaid of you.' So -Dave put five little stones in a sling an' asked -de Lord to help him, an' let ze sling go bang -into bequeen Bliaff's eyes an' knocked him -down dead, an' Dave took Bliaff's sword an' -sworded Bliaff's head off, an' made it all -bluggy, an' Bliaff runned away." This short -narration was accompanied by more spirited -and unexpected gestures than Mr. Gough ever -puts into a long lecture.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_103">103</span></p> - -<p>"I don't like 'bout Goliath at all," remarked -Budge, "<i>I'd</i> like to hear 'bout -Ferus."</p> - -<p>"Who?"</p> - -<p>"Ferus; don't you know?"</p> - -<p>"Never heard of him, Budge."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p103"></a> -<img src="images/p103.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"IF I WAS ALL ATE UP BY A LION"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Why—y—y—!" exclaimed Budge; "didn't -you have no papa when you was a little boy?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, but he never told me about any one -named Ferus; there is no such person named -in Anthon's Classical Dictionary, either. -What sort of a man was he?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_104">104</span></p> - -<p>"Why, once there was a man, an' his name -was Ferus—<i>Of</i>ferus, an' he went about fightin' -for kings, but when any king got afraid of -anybody, he wouldn't fight for him no more. -An' one day he couldn't find no kings that -wasn't afraid of nobody. An' the people -told him the Lord was the biggest king in the -world, an' he wasn't afraid of nobody nor -nothing. An' he asked 'em where he could -find the Lord, an' they said he was 'way up -in heaven so nobody couldn't see him but the -angels, but he liked folks to <i>work</i> for him -instead of fight. So Ferus wanted to know -what kind of work he could do, an' the people -said there was a river not far off, where there -wasn't no ferry-boats, 'cos the water run so -fast, an' they guessed if he'd carry folks -across, the Lord would like it. So Ferus -went there, an' he cut him a good, strong -cane, an' whenever anybody wanted to go -across the river he'd carry 'em on his back.</p> - -<p>"One night he was sittin' in his little house -by the fire, and smokin' his pipe an' readin' -the paper, an' 'twas rainin' an' blowin' an'<span class="pagenum" id="Page_105">105</span> -hailin' an' stormin', an' he was so glad there -wasn't anybody wantin' to go 'cross the river, -when he heard somebody call out, 'Ferus!' -An' he looked out the window, but he couldn't -see nobody, so he sat down again. Then -somebody called, 'Ferus!' again, and he -opened the door again, an' there was a little -bit of a boy, 'bout as big as Toddie. An' -Ferus said, 'Hello, young fellow, does your -mother know you're out?' An' the little boy -said, 'I want to go 'cross the river.'—'Well,' -says Ferus, 'you're a mighty little fellow to -be travelin' alone, but hop up.' So the little -boy jumped up on Ferus' back, and Ferus -walked into the water. Oh, my—<i>wasn't</i> it -cold? An' every step he took, the little boy -got heavier, so Ferus nearly tumbled down -an' they liked to both got drownded. An' -when they got across the river Ferus said, -'Well, you <i>are</i> the heaviest small fry I ever -carried,' an' he turned around to look at him, -an' 'twasn't no little boy at all—'twas a big -man—'twas Christ. An' Christ said, 'Ferus, -I heard you was tryin' to work for me, so I<span class="pagenum" id="Page_106">106</span> -thought I'd come down an' see you, an' not -let you know who I was. An' now you shall -have a new name; you shall be called <i>Christ</i>offerus, -'cos that means Christ-carrier.' An' -everybody called him Christofferus after -that, an' when he died they called him <i>Saint</i> -Christopher, 'cos Saint is what they call good -people when they're dead."</p> - -<p>Budge, himself, had the face of a rapt saint -as he told this story, but my contemplation -of his countenance was suddenly arrested by -Toddie, who, disapproving of the unexciting -nature of his brother's recital, had strayed -into the garden, investigated a hornet's nest, -been stung, and set up a piercing shriek. He -ran in to me, and as I hastily picked him up, -he sobbed:—</p> - -<p>"Want to be wocked.<a name="FNanchor_7" id="FNanchor_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> Want 'Toddie one -boy day.'"</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_7" id="Footnote_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> Rocked</p></div> - -<p>I rocked him violently, and petted him -tenderly, but again he sobbed:—</p> - -<p>"Want 'Toddie one boy day.'"</p> - -<p>"What <i>does</i> the child mean?" I exclaimed.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_107">107</span></p> - -<p>"He wants you to sing to him about -'Charlie boy one day,'" said Budge. "He -always wants mamma to sing that when he's -hurt, an' then he stops crying."</p> - -<p>"I don't know it," said I. "Won't 'Roll, -Jordan,' do, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"<i>I'll</i> tell you how it goes," said Budge, and -forthwith the youth sang the following song, -a line at a time, I following him in words -and air:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"Where is my little bastik<a name="FNanchor_8" id="FNanchor_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a> gone?</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Said Charley boy one day;</div> -<div class="verse">I guess some little boy or girl</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Has taken it away.</div> -</div><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"An' kittie, too—where <i>ish</i> she gone?</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Oh, dear, what I shall do?</div> -<div class="verse">I wish I could my bastik find,</div> -<div class="verse indent2">An' little kittie, too.</div> -</div><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"I'll go to mamma's room an' look;</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Perhaps she may be there;</div> -<div class="verse">For kittie likes to take a nap</div> -<div class="verse indent2">In mamma's easy chair.</div> -</div><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"O mamma, mamma, come an' look!</div> -<div class="verse indent2">See what a little heap!</div> -<div class="verse">Here's kittie in the bastik here,</div> -<div class="verse indent2">All cuddled down to sleep."</div> -</div></div></div> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_8" id="Footnote_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Basket.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_108">108</span></p></div> - -<p>Where the applicability of this poem to my -nephew's peculiar trouble appeared, I could -not see, but as I finished it, his sobs gave -place to a sigh of relief.</p> - -<p>"Toddie," said I, "do you love your Uncle -Harry?"</p> - -<p>"Esh, I <i>do</i> love you."</p> - -<p>"Then tell me how that ridiculous song -comforts you?"</p> - -<p>"Makes me feel good, an' all nicey," replied -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Wouldn't you feel just as good if I sang, -'Plunged in a gulf of dark despair'?"</p> - -<p>"No, don't like dokdishpairs; if a dokdishpair -done anyfing to me, I'd knock it -right down dead."</p> - -<p>With this extremely lucid remark, our -conversation on this particular subject -ended; but I wondered, during a few uneasy -moments, whether the temporary mental -aberration which had once afflicted Helen's -grandfather and mine was not reappearing -in this, his youngest descendant. My<span class="pagenum" id="Page_109">109</span> -wondering was cut short by Budge, who -remarked, in a confidential tone:—</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p109"></a> -<img src="images/p109.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">TODDIE INVESTIGATING A HORNET'S -NEST</div> -</div> - -<p>"Now, Uncle -Harry, we'll -have the whistles, -I guess."</p> - -<p>I acted upon -the suggestion, -and led the -way to the -woods. I had -not had occasion to seek a hickory sapling -before for years; not since the war, in fact, -when I learned how hot a fire small hickory -sticks would make. I had not sought wood -for whistles since—— Gracious, nearly a -quarter of a century ago! The dissimilar -associations called up by these recollections -threatened to put me in a frame of mind -which might have resulted in a bad poem, -had not my nephews kept up a lively -succession of questions, such as no one but -children can ask. The whistles completed, I -was marched, with music, to the place where<span class="pagenum" id="Page_110">110</span> -the "jacks" grew. It was just such a place -as boys instinctively delight in—low, damp, -and boggy, with a brook hiding treacherously -away, under overhanging ferns and grasses. -The children knew by sight the plant which -bore the "jacks," and every discovery was -announced by a piercing shriek of delight. -At first, I looked hurriedly toward the brook -as each yell clove the air; but, as I became -accustomed to it, my attention was diverted -by some exquisite ferns. Suddenly, however, -a succession of shrieks announced that -something was wrong, and across a large fern -I saw a small face in a great deal of agony. -Budge was hurrying to the relief of his -brother, and was soon as deeply imbedded as -Toddie was, in the rich black mud at the bottom -of the brook. I dashed to the rescue, -stood astride the brook, and offered a hand -to each boy, when a treacherous tuft of grass -gave way, and, with a glorious splash, I went -in myself. This accident turned Toddie's -sorrow to laughter, but I can't say I made -light of my misfortune on that account. To<span class="pagenum" id="Page_111">111</span> -fall into <i>clean</i> water is not pleasant, even -when one is trout-fishing; but to be clad in -white pants, and suddenly drop knee-deep in -the lap of mother Earth is quite a different -thing. I hastily picked up the children, and -threw them upon the bank, and then wrathfully -strode out myself, and tried to shake -myself as I have seen a Newfoundland dog -do. The shake was not a success—it caused -my trouser-leg to flap dismally about my -ankles, and sent the streams of loathsome ooze -trickling down into my shoes. My hat, of -drab felt, had fallen off by the brookside, and -been plentifully spattered as I got out. I -looked at my youngest nephew with speechless -indignation.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "'twas real -good of the Lord to let you be with us, else -Toddie might have been drownded."</p> - -<p>"Yes," said I, "and I shouldn't have -much——"</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy," cried Toddie, running -impetuously toward me, pulling me down, -and patting my cheek with his muddy, black<span class="pagenum" id="Page_112">112</span> -hand, "I <i>loves</i> you for taking me out de -water."</p> - -<p>"I accept your apology," said I, "but let's -hurry home." There was but one residence -to pass, and that, thank fortune, was so -densely screened by shrubbery that the inmates -could not see the road. To be sure, -we were on a favorite driving-road, but we -could reach home in five minutes, and we -might dodge into the woods if we heard a -carriage coming. Ha! There came a carriage -already, and we—was there ever a sorrier-looking -group? There were ladies in the -carriage, too—could it be—of course it was—did -the evil spirit, which guided those children -always, send an attendant for Miss -Mayton before he began operations? There -she was, anyway—cool, neat, dainty, trying -to look collected, but severely flushed by the -attempt. It was of no use to drop my eyes, -for she had already recognized me; so I -turned to her a face which I think must have -been just the one—unless more defiant—that -I carried into two or three cavalry charges.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_113">113</span></p> - -<p>"You seem to have been having a real good -time together," said she, with a conventional -smile, as the carriage passed. "Remember, -you're all going to call on me to-morrow -afternoon."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p113"></a> -<img src="images/p113.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"BUT LET'S HURRY HOME"</div> -</div> - -<p>Bless the girl! Her heart was as quick as -her eyes—almost any -other young lady would -have devoted her entire energy to laughing on -such an occasion, but <i>she</i> took her earliest -opportunity to make me feel at ease. Such -a royal-hearted woman deserves to—I caught -myself just here, with my cheeks growing -quite hot under the mud Toddie had put on -them, and I led our retreat with a more sty<span class="pagenum" id="Page_114">114</span>lish -carriage than my appearance could possibly -have warranted, and then I consigned -my nephews to the maid with very much the -air of an officer turning over a large number -of prisoners he had captured. I hastily -changed my soiled clothing for my best—not -that I expected to see anyone, but because -of a sudden increase in the degree of respect -I felt toward myself. When the children -were put to bed, and I had no one but my -thoughts for companions, I spent a delightful -hour or two in imagining as possible some -changes of which I had never dared to think -before.</p> - -<p>On Monday morning I was in the garden -at sunrise. Toddie was to carry his expiatory -bouquet to Miss Mayton that day, and -I proposed that no pains should be spared to -make his atonement as handsome as possible. -I canvassed carefully every border, bed, and -detached flowering plant until I had as accurate -an idea of their possibilities as if I had -inventoried the flowers in pen and ink. This -done, I consulted the servant as to the un<span class="pagenum" id="Page_115">115</span>soiled -clothing of my nephews? She laid out -the entire wardrobe for my inspection, and -after a rigid examination of everything, I -selected the suits which the boys were to -wear in the afternoon. Then I told the girl -that the boys were going with me after dinner -to call on some ladies and that I desired that -she should wash and dress them carefully.</p> - -<p>"Tell me just what time you'll start, sir, -and I'll begin an hour beforehand," said she. -"That's the only way to be sure that they -don't disgrace you."</p> - -<p>For breakfast, we had, among other things, -some stewed oysters served in soup-plates.</p> - -<p>"O Tod," shrieked Budge, "there's the -turtle-plates again—oh, <i>ain't</i> I glad!"</p> - -<p>"Oo—ee—turtle pyates!" squealed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"What on earth do you mean, boys?" I -demanded.</p> - -<p>"<i>I'll</i> show you," said Budge, jumping -down from his chair, and bringing his plate of -oysters cautiously toward me. "Now you -just put your head down underneath my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_116">116</span> -plate, and look up, and you'll see a turtle."</p> - -<p>For a moment I forgot that I was not at a -restaurant, and I took the plate, held it up, -and examined its bottom.</p> - -<p>"There!" said Budge, pointing to the -trade-mark, in colors, of the makers of the -crockery, "don't you see the turtle?"</p> - -<p>I abruptly ordered Budge to his seat, unmoved -even by Toddie's remark, that—</p> - -<p>"Dey ish turtles, but dey can't kwawl -awound like udder turtles."</p> - -<p>After breakfast I devoted a great deal of -fussy attention to myself. Never did my -own wardrobe seem so meager and ill-assorted; -never did I cut myself so many times -while shaving; never did I use such unsatisfactory -shoe-polish. I finally gave up in -despair my effort to appear genteel, and devoted -myself to the bouquet. I cut almost -flowers enough to dress a church, and then -remorselessly excluded every one which was -in the least particular imperfect. In making -the bouquet I enjoyed the benefit of my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_117">117</span> -nephews' assistance and counsel, and took -enforced part in conversation which flowers -suggested.</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy," said Toddie, "ish heaven -all like this, wif pretty f'owers? 'Cos I don't -see what ze angels ever turns out for if 'tis."</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "when the -leaves all go up and down and wriggle around -so, are they talking to the wind?"</p> - -<p>"I—I guess so, old fellow."</p> - -<p>"Who are you making that bouquet for, -Uncle Harry?" asked Budge.</p> - -<p>"For a lady—for Miss Mayton—that lady -that saw us all muddy yesterday afternoon," -said I.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I like her," said Budge. "She looks -so nice and pretty—just like a cake—just as -if she was good to eat—oh, I just love her, -don't <i>you</i>?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I respect her very highly, Budge."</p> - -<p>"'Spect? What does 'spect mean?"</p> - -<p>"Why it means that I think she's a lady—a -real pleasant lady—just the nicest sort of -lady in the world—the sort of person I'd like<span class="pagenum" id="Page_118">118</span> -to see every day, and like to see her better -than anyone else."</p> - -<p>"Oh, why, 'spect an' love means just the -same thing, don't they, Uncle Har——"</p> - -<p>"Budge," I exclaimed, somewhat hastily, -"run, ask Maggie for a piece of string—quick!"</p> - -<p>"All right," said Budge, moving off, "but -they <i>do</i>, don't they?"</p> - -<p>At two o'clock I instructed Maggie to dress -my nephews, and at three we started to make -our call. To carry Toddie's bouquet, and -hold a hand of each boy so as to keep them -from darting into the hedges for grasshoppers -and the gutters for butterflies, was no easy -work, but I managed to do it. As we approached -Mrs. Clarkson's boarding-house I -felt my hat was over one ear, and my cravat -awry, but there was no opportunity to rearrange -them, for I saw Alice Mayton on the -piazza, and felt that she saw me. Handing -the bouquet to Toddie, and promising him -three sticks of candy if he would be careful -and not drop it, we entered the garden. The<span class="pagenum" id="Page_119">119</span> -moment we were inside the hedge and Toddie -saw a man going over the lawn with a lawn-mower, -he shrieked: "Oh, deresh a cutter-grass!" -and dropped the bouquet with the -carelessness born of perfect ecstasy. I -snatched it before it reached the ground, -dragged the offending youth up the walk, -saluted Miss Mayton, and told Toddie to give -the bouquet to the lady. This he succeeded -in doing, but as Miss Mayton thanked him -and stooped to kiss him he wriggled off the -piazza like a little eel, shouted, "Turn on!" -to his brother, and a moment later my -nephews were following the "cutter-grass" -at a respectful distance in the rear.</p> - -<p>"Those are my sister's 'best children in the -world,' Miss Mayton," said I.</p> - -<p>"Bless the little darlings!" replied the -lady; "I <i>do</i> love to see children enjoying -themselves."</p> - -<p>"So do I," said I, "when I'm not responsible -for their well-being; but if the effort -I've expended on those boys had been directed -toward the interests of my employers,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_120">120</span> -those worthy gentlemen would consider me -invaluable."</p> - -<p>Miss Mayton made some witty reply, and -we settled to a pleasant chat about mutual -acquaintances, about books, pictures, music -and gossip of our set. I would cheerfully -have discussed Herbert Spencer's system, the -Assyrian Tablets, or any other dry subject -with Miss Mayton, and felt that I was richly -repaid by the pleasure of seeing her. Handsome, -intelligent, composed, tastefully -dressed, without a suspicion of the flirt or -the languid woman of fashion about her, she -awakened to the uttermost every admiring -sentiment and every manly feeling. But, -alas! my enjoyment was probably more than -I deserved, so it was cut short. There were -other ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson's, and, -as Miss Mayton truthfully observed at our -first meeting, men were very scarce at Hillcrest. -So the ladies, by the merest accident, -of course, happened upon the piazza and each -one was presented to me, and common civility -made it impossible for me to speak to Miss<span class="pagenum" id="Page_121">121</span> -Mayton more than once in ten minutes. At -any other time and place I should have found -the meeting of so many ladies a delightful -experience, but now——</p> - -<p>Suddenly, a compound shriek arose from -the lawn, and all the ladies sprang to their -feet. I followed their example, setting my -teeth firmly and viciously, hoping that -whichever nephew had been hurt was <i>badly</i> -hurt. We saw Toddie running toward us -with one hand in his mouth, while Budge ran -beside him, exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"<i>Poor</i> little Toddie! Don't cry! <i>Does</i> -it hurt you awful? Never mind—Uncle -Harry'll comfort you. Don't cry, Toddie, -<i>de</i>-ar!"</p> - -<p>Both boys reached the piazza steps, and -clambered up, Budge exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"O Uncle Harry, Toddie put his fingers in -the little wheels of the cutter-grass, an' it -turned just the least little biddie, an' it -hurted him."</p> - -<p>But Toddie ran up to me, clasped my legs -and sobbed: "Sing 'Toddie one boy day.'"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_122">122</span></p> - -<p>My blood seemed to freeze. I could have -choked that dreadful child, suffering though -he was. I stooped over him, caressed him, -promised him candy, took out my watch and -gave it to him to play with, but he returned -to his original demand. A lady—the homeliest -in the party—suggested that she should -bind up his hand, and I inwardly blessed her, -but he reiterated his request for "Toddie one -boy day," and sobbed pitifully.</p> - -<p>"What <i>does</i> he mean?" asked Miss Mayton.</p> - -<p>"He wants Uncle Harry to sing, 'Charley -boy one day,'" explained Budge; "he always -wants that song when he's hurt anyway."</p> - -<p>"Oh, do sing it to him, Mr. Burton," -pleaded Miss Mayton; and all the other -ladies exclaimed, "Oh, do!"</p> - -<p>I wrathfully picked him up in my arms -and hummed the air of the detested song.</p> - -<p>"Sit in a wockin'-chair," sobbed Toddie.</p> - -<p>I obeyed; and then my tormentor remarked:—</p> - -<p>"You don't sing the wydes [words]—I -wants the wydes."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_123">123</span></p> - -<p>I sang the words as softly as possible, with -my lips close to his ear, but he roared:—</p> - -<p>"Sing louder!"</p> - -<p>"I don't know any more of it, Toddle," -I exclaimed in desperation.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I'll tell it all to you, Uncle Harry," -said Budge. And there, before that audience, -and <i>her</i>, I was obliged to sing that -dreadful doggerel, line for line, as Budge repeated -it. My teeth were set tight, my brow -grew clammy, and I gazed upon Toddie with -terrible thoughts in my mind. No one -laughed—I grew so desperate that a titter -would have given relief. At last I heard -someone whisper:—</p> - -<p>"<i>See</i> how he loves him! Poor man!—he's -in perfect agony over the little fellow."</p> - -<p>Had not the song reached its natural end -just then, I believe I should have tossed my -wounded nephew over the piazza rail. As it -was, I set him upon his feet, announced the -necessity of our departure, and began to take -leave, when Miss Mayton's mother insisted -that we should stay to dinner.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_124">124</span></p> - -<p>"For myself, I should be delighted, Mrs. -Mayton," said I; "but my nephews have -hardly learned company manners yet. I'm -afraid my sister wouldn't forgive me if she -heard I had taken them out to dinner."</p> - -<p>"Oh, I'll take care of the little dears," said -Miss Mayton; "they'll be good with <i>me</i>, I -<i>know</i>."</p> - -<p>"I couldn't be so unkind as to let you try -it, Miss Mayton," I replied. But she insisted, -and the pleasure of submitting to her will was -so great that I would have risked even greater -mischief. So Miss Mayton sat down to dinner -with Budge upon one side and Toddie on -the other, while I was fortunately placed opposite, -from which position I could indulge in -warning winks and frowns. The soup was -served. I signaled the boys to tuck their -napkins under their chins, and then turned to -speak to the lady on my right. She politely -inclined her head toward me, but her thoughts -seemed elsewhere; following her eyes, I beheld -my youngest nephew with his plate -upraised in both hands, his head on the table<span class="pagenum" id="Page_125">125</span>cloth, -and his eyes turned painfully upward. -I dared not speak, for fear he would drop the -plate. Suddenly he withdrew his head, put -on an angelic smile, tilted his plate so part of -its contents sought refuge in the folds of Miss -Mayton's dainty, snowy dress, while the offender -screamed:—</p> - -<p>"Oo-ee! zha turtle on my pyate!—Budgie, -zha turtle on my pyate!"</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p125"></a> -<img src="images/p125.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"OO-EE! ZHA TURTLE ON MY PYATE"</div> -</div> - -<p>Budge was about to raise his plate when he -caught my eye and desisted. Poor Miss -Mayton actually looked discomposed for the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_126">126</span> -first time in her life, so far as I knew or could -imagine. She recovered quickly, however, -and treated that wretched boy with the most -Christian forbearance and consideration during -the remainder of the meal. When the -dessert was finished she quickly excused herself, -while I removed Toddie to a secluded -corner of the piazza, and favored him with a -lecture which caused him to howl pitifully, -and compelled me to caress him and undo all -the good which my rebukes had done. Then -he and Budge removed themselves to the lawn, -while I awaited Miss Mayton's reappearance -to offer an apology for Toddie, and make our -adieus. It was the custom of the ladies at -Mrs. Clarkson's to stroll about the lovely -rural walks after dinner and until twilight; -and on this particular evening they departed -in twos and threes, leaving me to make my -apology without witnesses. I was rather -sorry they went; it was not pleasant to feel -that I was principally responsible for my -nephew's blunder, and to have no opportunity -to allay my conscience-pangs by con<span class="pagenum" id="Page_127">127</span>versation. -It seemed to me Miss Mayton -was forever in appearing; I even called up -my nephews to have some one to talk to.</p> - -<p>Suddenly she appeared, and in an instant -I fervently blessed Toddie and the soup -which the child had sent upon its aimless -wanderings. I would rather pay the price of -a fine dress than try to describe Miss Mayton's -attire; I can only say that in style, -color and ornament it became her perfectly, -and set off the beauties of a face which I had -never before thought was more than pleasing -and intelligent. Perhaps the anger, which -was excusable after Toddie's graceless caper, -had something to do with putting unusual -color into her cheeks, and a brighter sparkle -than usual in her eyes. Whatever was the -cause, she looked queenly, and I half imagined -that I detected in her face a gleam of -satisfaction at the involuntary start which -her unexpected appearance caused me to -make. She accepted my apology for Toddie -with queenly graciousness, and then, instead -of proposing that we should follow the other<span class="pagenum" id="Page_128">128</span> -ladies, as a moment before I had hoped she -would, she dropped into a chair. I accepted -the invitation; the children should have been -in bed half an hour before, but my sense of -responsibility had departed when Miss Mayton -appeared. The little scamps were safe -until they should perform some new and unexpected -act of impishness. They retired to -one end of the piazza, and busied themselves -in experiments upon a large Newfoundland -dog, while I, the happiest man alive, talked -to the glorious woman before me, and enjoyed -the spectacle of her radiant beauty. The -twilight came and deepened, but imagination -prevented the vision from fading. With the -coming of the darkness and the starlight, our -voices unconsciously dropped to lower tones, -and <i>her</i> voice seemed purest music. And yet -we said nothing which all the world might not -have listened to without suspecting a secret. -The ladies returned in little groups, but either -out of womanly intuition or in answer to my -unspoken but fervent prayers, passed us and -went into the house. I was affected by an<span class="pagenum" id="Page_129">129</span> -odd mixture of desperate courage and despicable -cowardice. I determined to tell her all, -yet I shrank from the task with more terror -than ever befell me in the first steps of a -charge.</p> - -<p>Suddenly a small shadow came from behind -us and stood between us, and the voice -of Budge remarked:—</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry 'spects you, Miss Mayton."</p> - -<p>"Suspects me?—of what, pray?" exclaimed -the lady, patting my nephew's cheek.</p> - -<p>"Budge!" said I—I feel that my voice -rose nearly to a scream—"Budge, I must beg -of you to respect the sanctity of confidential -communications."</p> - -<p>"What is it, Budge?" persisted Miss Mayton. -"You know the old adage, Mr. Burton: -'Children and fools speak the truth.' Of -what does he suspect me, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"'Taint <i>sus</i>-pect at all," said Budge, "it's -es-spect."</p> - -<p>"Expect?" echoed Miss Mayton.</p> - -<p>"No, not 'ex,' it's <i>es</i>-spect. I know all -about it, 'cause I asked him. Es-spect is<span class="pagenum" id="Page_130">130</span> -what folks do when they think you're nice, -and like to talk to you, and——"</p> - -<p>"Respect is what the boy is trying to say, -Miss Mayton," I interrupted, to prevent what -I feared might follow. "Budge has a terrifying -faculty for asking questions, and the result -of some of them, this morning, was my -endeavor to explain to him the nature of the -respect in which gentlemen hold ladies."</p> - -<p>"Yes," continued Budge, "I know all -about it. Only Uncle Harry don't say it -right. What he calls espect <i>I</i> calls <i>love</i>."</p> - -<p>There was an awkward pause—it seemed -an age. Another blunder, and all on account -of those dreadful children. I could think of -no possible way to turn the conversation; -stranger yet, Miss Mayton could not do so, -either. Something <i>must</i> be done—I could at -least be honest, come what would—I would -be honest.</p> - -<p>"Miss Mayton," said I, hastily, earnestly, -but in a very low tone. "Budge is a marplot, -but he is a truthful interpreter for all that. -But whatever my fate may be, please do not<span class="pagenum" id="Page_131">131</span> -suspect me of falling suddenly in love for a -holiday's diversion. My malady is of some -months' standing. I——"</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> want to talk <i>some</i>" observed Budge. -"You talk all the whole time. I—I—when -I loves anybody, I kisses them."</p> - -<p>Miss Mayton gave a little start, and my -thoughts followed each other with unimagined -rapidity. <i>She</i> did not turn the conversation—it -could not be possible that she -<i>could</i> not. She was not angry, or she would -have expressed herself. Could it be that——</p> - -<p>I bent over her, and acted upon Budge's -suggestion. As she displayed no resentment, -I pressed my lips a second time to her forehead, -then she raised her head slightly, and I -saw, in spite of darkness and shadows, that -Alice Mayton had surrendered at discretion. -Taking her hand and straightening myself to -my full height, I offered to the Lord more -fervent thanks than He ever heard from me -in church. Then I heard Budge say, "<i>I</i> -wants to kiss you, too," and I saw my glorious -Alice snatch the little scamp into her<span class="pagenum" id="Page_132">132</span> -arms, and treat him with more affection than -I ever imagined was in her nature. Then she -seized Toddie, and gave him a few tokens of -forgiveness—I dare not think they were of -gratitude.</p> - -<p>Suddenly two or three ladies came upon -the piazza.</p> - -<p>"Come, boys," said I; "then I'll call with -the carriage to-morrow at three, Miss Mayton. -Good evening."</p> - -<p>"Good evening," replied the sweetest voice -in the world; "I'll be ready at three."</p> - -<p>"Budge," said I, as soon as we were fairly -outside the hedge-gate, "what do you like -better than anything else in the world?"</p> - -<p>"Candy," said Budge, very promptly.</p> - -<p>"What next?"</p> - -<p>"Oranges."</p> - -<p>"What next?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, figs, an' raisins, an' dear little kittie-kitties, -an' drums, an' picture-books, an' little -bakin' dishes to make mud-pies in, an' -turtles, an' little wheelbarrows."</p> - -<p>"Anything else?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_133">133</span></p> - -<p>"Oh, yes—great big black dogs—an' a -goat, an' a wagon for him to draw me in."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p133"></a> -<img src="images/p133.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">ACTING UPON BUDGES' SUGGESTION</div> -</div> - -<p>Very well, -old fellow—you -shall -have every one of -those things to-morrow."</p> - -<p>"Oh—h—h—h—h!" -exclaimed -Budge," I guess you're something like the -Lord, ain't you?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_134">134</span></p> - -<p>"What makes you think so, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, 'cause you can do such lots of things -at once. But ain't poor little Tod goin' to -have noffin'?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, everything he wants. What would -you like, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"Wants a candy cigar," replied Toddie.</p> - -<p>"What else?"</p> - -<p>"Don't want <i>nuffin'</i> else—don't want to be -boddered wif <i>lots</i> of fings."</p> - -<p>The thoughts which were mine that night—the -sense of how glorious a thing it is to be a -man and be loved—the humility that comes -with such a victory as I had gained—the -rapid alternation of happy thoughts and noble -resolutions—what man is there who does -not know my whole story better than I can -tell it? I put my nephews to bed; I told -them every story they asked for; and when -Budge, in saying his prayers, said, "an' bless -that nice lady that Uncle Harry 'spects," I -interrupted his devotions with a hearty hug. -The children had been awake so far beyond -their usual hour for retiring that they dropped<span class="pagenum" id="Page_135">135</span> -asleep without giving any special notice of -their intention to do so. Asleep, their faces -were simply angelic. As I stood, candle in -hand, gazing gratefully upon them, I remembered -a sadly neglected duty. I hurried to -the library and wrote the following to my -sister:—</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p> - -"<span class="smcap">Hillcrest. Monday Night.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Helen</span>:—I should have written you before -had I been exactly certain what to say about your -boys. I confess that until now I have been blind to -some of their virtues, and have imagined I detected -an occasional fault. But the scales have fallen from -my eyes, and I see clearly that my nephews are angels—positively -angels. If I seem to speak extravagantly, -I beg to refer you to Alice Mayton for collateral -evidence. Don't come home at all—everything is -just as it should be—even if you come, I guess I'll invite -myself to spend the rest of the summer with you; -I've changed my mind about its being a bore to live -out of town and take trains back and forth every day. -Ask Tom to think over such bits of real estate in your -neighborhood as he imagines I might like.</p> - -<p>"I repeat it, the boys are angels, and Alice Mayton -is another, while the happiest man in the white goods -trade is</p> - -<p> -"Your affectionate brother<br /> -<br /> -"<span class="smcap">Harry</span>."<br /> -</p></blockquote> - -<p>Early next morning I sought the society of -my nephews. It was absolutely necessary<span class="pagenum" id="Page_136">136</span> -that I should overflow to <i>some</i> one—some one -who was sympathetic and innocent and pure. -I longed for my sister—my mother, but to -<i>some</i> one I must talk at once. Budge fulfilled -my requirements exactly; he was an -excellent listener, very sympathetic by nature, -and quick to respond. Not the wisdom -of the most reverend sage alive could have -been so grateful to my ear as that child's -prattle was on that delightful morning. As -for Toddie—blessed be the law of compensation!—his -faculty of repetition, and of echoing -whatever he heard said, caused him to -murmur, "Miff Mayton, Miff Mayton," all -morning long, and the sound gained in sweetness -by its ceaseless iteration. To be sure, -Budge took early and frequent occasions to -remind me of my promises of the night before, -and Toddie occasionally demanded the -promised candy cigar; but these very interruptions -only added joy to my own topic of -interest each time it was resumed. The filling -of Budge's orders occupied two or three -hours and all the vacant space in the carriage;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_137">137</span> -even then the goat and goat-carriage were -compelled to follow behind.</p> - -<p>The program for the afternoon was arranged -to the satisfaction of every one. I -gave the coachman, Mike, a dollar to harness -the goat and teach the children to drive him; -this left me free to drive off without being -followed by two small figures and two pitiful -howls.</p> - -<p>I always believed a horse was infected by -the spirit of his driver. My dear old four-footed -military companions always seemed to -perfectly comprehend my desires and intentions, -and certainly my brother-in-law's -horses entered into my own spirits on this -particular afternoon. They stepped proudly, -they arched their powerful necks handsomely, -their feet seemed barely to touch the ground; -yet they did not grow restive under the bit, -nor were they frightened, even, at a hideous -steam road-rolling machine which passed us. -As I drove up to Mrs. Clarkson's door I found -that most of the boarders were on the piazza—the -memories of ladies are usually good at<span class="pagenum" id="Page_138">138</span> -times. Alice immediately appeared, composed -of course, but more radiant than ever.</p> - -<p>"Why, where are the boys?" she exclaimed.</p> - -<p>"I was afraid they might annoy your -mother," I replied, "so I left them behind."</p> - -<p>"Oh, mother hardly feels well enough to go -to-day," said she; "she is lying down."</p> - -<p>"Then we can pick up the boys on the -road," said I, for which remark my enchantress, -already descending the steps, gave me a -look which the ladies behind her would have -given their best switches to have seen. We -drove off as decorously as if it were Sunday -and we were going to church; we industriously -pointed out to each other every handsome -garden and tasteful residence we -passed; we met other people driving, and -conversed fluently upon their horses, carriages -and dress. But when we reached the -edge of the town, and I turned into "Happy -Valley," a road following the depressions and -curves of a long, well-wooded valley, in which -there was not a single straight line, I turned<span class="pagenum" id="Page_139">139</span> -and looked into my darling's face. Her eyes -met mine, and although they were full of a -happiness which I had never seen in them -before, they filled with tears, and their dear -owner dropped her head on my shoulder.</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p139"></a> -<img src="images/p139.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">TO SKIP ALL LOVE TALKS IN NOVELS</div> -</div> - -<p>What we said on that long drive would not -interest the reader. I have learned by experience -to skip all love talks in novels, no -matter how delightful the lovers may be. -Recalling now our conversation, it does not -seem to have had -anything wonderful -in it. I -will only say, -that if I had -been happy on -the evening before, -my happiness -now seemed -to be sanctified; -to be favored -with the love and confidence of a simple girl -scarcely past her childhood, is to receive a -greater honor than court or field can bestow;<span class="pagenum" id="Page_140">140</span> -but even this honor is far surpassed by that -which comes to a man when a woman of rare -intelligence, tact and knowledge of society and -the world, unburdens her heart of all its hopes -and fears, and unhesitatingly leaves her destiny -to be shaped by his love. Women like -Alice Mayton do not thus give themselves unreservedly -away, except when their trust is -born of knowledge as well as affection, and -the realization of all this changed me on that -afternoon from whatever I had been, into -what I had long hoped I might one day be.</p> - -<p>But the hours flew rapidly, and I reluctantly -turned the horses' heads homeward. -We had left almost the whole of "Happy -Valley" behind us, and were approaching -residences again.</p> - -<p>"Now we must be very proper," said Alice.</p> - -<p>"Certainly," I replied, "here's a good-by -to happy nonsense for this afternoon."</p> - -<p>I leaned toward her, and gently placed one -arm about her neck; she raised her dear face, -from which joy and trust had banished every -indication of caution and reserve, my lips<span class="pagenum" id="Page_141">141</span> -sought hers, when suddenly we heard a most -unearthly, discordant shriek, which presently -separated into two, each of which prolonged -itself indefinitely. The horses started, and -Alice—blessed be all frights now, henceforth -and forevermore!—clung tightly to me. The -sounds seemed to be approaching us, and -were accompanied by a lively rattling noise, -that seemed to be made by something -wooden. Suddenly, as we approached a -bend in the road, I saw my youngest nephew -appear from some unknown space, describe -a parabolic curve in the air, ricochet slightly -from an earthy protuberance in the road, and -make a final stop in the gutter. At the same -time, there appeared from behind the bend, the -goat, then the carriage dragging on one side, -and, lastly, the boy Budge, grasping tightly -the back of the carriage body, and howling -frightfully. A direct collision between the -carriage and a stone caused Budge to loose his -hold, while the goat, after taking in the scene, -trotted leisurely off, and disappeared in a road -leading to the house of his late owner.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_142">142</span></p> - -<p>"Budge," I shouted, "stop that bawling -and come here! Where's Mike?"</p> - -<p>"He—boo—hoo—went to—boo—light—his—boo—hoo—hoo—pipe, -an' I just let the—boo—hoo—whip -go against to the goat, an' -he scattooed."</p> - -<p>"Nashty old goat scaddooed," said Toddie, -in corroboration.</p> - -<p>"Well, walk right home, and tell Maggie to -wash and dress you," said I.</p> - -<p>"O Harry," pleaded Alice, "after they've -been in such danger! Come here to your own -Aunt Alice, Budgie, dear,—and you, too, Toddie,—you -know you said we could pick the -boys up on the road, Harry. There, there—don't -cry—let me wipe the ugly old dirt off -you, and kiss the face, and make it well."</p> - -<p>"Alice," I protested," don't let those dirty -boys clamber all over you in that way."</p> - -<p>"Silence, sir," said she, with mock dignity, -"who gave me my lover, I should like to -ask?"</p> - -<p>So we drove up to the boarding-house with -the air of people who had been devoting<span class="pagenum" id="Page_143">143</span> -themselves to a couple of very disreputable -children, and I drove swiftly away again, lest -the children should dispel the illusion. We -soon met Mike, running. The moment he -recognized us, he shouted:</p> - -<p>"Ah, ye little dhivils,—beggin' yer pardon, -Masther Harry, an' thankin' the Howly -Mither that their good-for-nothin' little bones -ain't broke to bits. Av they saw a hippypottymus -hitched to Pharaoh's chariot -they'd think 'emselves jist the byes to take -the bossin' av it, the spalpeens!"</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p143"></a> -<img src="images/p143.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">THE GOAT, THE CARRIAGE AND THE BOYS</div> -</div> - -<p>But no number of ordinary hippopotami -and chariots could have disturbed the heav<span class="pagenum" id="Page_144">144</span>enly -tranquillity of my mind on this most -glorious of evenings. Even a subtle sense of -the fitness of things seemed to overshadow -my nephews. Perhaps the touch of my enchantress -did it; perhaps it came only from -the natural relapse from great excitement; -but no matter what the reason was, the fact -remains that for the rest of the evening two -very dirty suits of clothes held two children -who gave one some idea of how the denizens -of Paradise might seem and act. They even -ate their suppers without indulging in any of -the repulsive ways of which they had so large -an assortment, and they did not surreptitiously -remove from the table any fragments -of bread and butter to leave on the piano, in -the card-basket, and other places inappropriate -to the reception of such varieties of -abandoned property. They demanded a -song after supper, but when I sang, "Drink -to me only with Thine Eyes," and "Thou, -Thou, Reign'st in this Bosom," they stood by -with silent tongues and appreciative eyes. -When they went to bed, I accompanied them<span class="pagenum" id="Page_145">145</span> -by special invitation, but they showed no disposition -to engage in the usual bedtime frolic -and miniature pandemonium. Budge, when -in bed, closed his eyes, folded his hands and -prayed:—</p> - -<p>"Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' -Toddie, an' Uncle Harry, an' everybody else; -yes, an' bless just lots that lovely, lovely lady -that comforted me after the goat was bad to -me, an' let her comfort me lots of times, for -Christ's sake, Amen."</p> - -<p>And Toddie wriggled, twisted, breathed -heavily, threw his head back, and prayed:—</p> - -<p>"Dee Lord, don't let dat old goat fro me -into de gutter on my head aden, an' let Ocken -Hawwy an' ze pitty lady be dere netst time -I dets hurted."</p> - -<p>Then the good-night salutations were exchanged, -and I left the little darlings and enjoyed -communion with my own thoughts, -which were as peaceful and ecstatic as if the -world contained no white goods houses, no -doubtful customers, no business competition, -no politics, gold rooms, stock-boards, doubt<span class="pagenum" id="Page_146">146</span>ful -banks, political scandals, personal iniquity -nor anything which would prevent a short -vacation from lasting through a long lifetime.</p> - -<p>The next morning would have struck terror -to the heart of any one but a newly accepted -lover. Rain was falling fast, and in -that steady, industrious manner which -seemed to assert an intention to stick closely -to business for the whole day. The sky was -covered by one impenetrable, leaden cloud, -water stood in pools in the streets which were -soft with dust a few hours before; the flowers -all hung their heads, like vagabonds who had -been awake all night and were ashamed to -face the daylight. Even the chickens stood -about in dejected attitudes, and stray roosters -from other poultry yards found refuge in -Tom's coop, without first being subjected to -a trial of strength and skill by Tom's gamecock.</p> - -<p>But no man in my condition of mind could -be easily depressed by bad weather. I would -rather have been able to drive about under a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_147">147</span> -clear sky, or lounge under the trees, or walk -to the post-office in the afternoon by the road -which passed directly in front of Mrs. Clarkson's -boarding-house; but man should not -live for himself alone. In the room next -mine, were slumbering two wee people to -whom I owed a great deal, and who would -mourn bitterly when they saw the condition -of the skies and ground—I would devote -myself to the task of making <i>them</i> so happy -that they would forget the absence of sunshine -out of doors—I would sit by their bedside -and have a story ready for them the -moment they awoke, and put them in such -a good humor that they could laugh, with -me, at cloud and rain.</p> - -<p>I began at once to construct a story for -their especial benefit; the scene was to be a -country residence on a rainy day, and the -actors two little boys who should become uproariously -jolly in spite of the weather. Like -most people not used to story-making, my -progress was not very rapid; in fact, I had -got no farther than the plot indicated above<span class="pagenum" id="Page_148">148</span> -when an angry snarl came from the children's -room.</p> - -<p>"What's the matter, Budge?" I shouted, -dressing myself as rapidly as possible.</p> - -<p>"Ow—oo—ya—ng—um—boo—gaa!" was -the somewhat complicated response.</p> - -<p>"What did you say, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Didn't say noffin'."</p> - -<p>"Oh—that's what I thought."</p> - -<p>"<i>Didn't</i> thought."</p> - -<p>"Budge,—Budge,—be good."</p> - -<p>"Don't <i>want</i> to be good—<i>ya</i>—<span class="smcap">A</span>—A!"</p> - -<p>"Let's have some fun, Budge—don't you -want to frolic?"</p> - -<p>"No; I don't think frolics is nice."</p> - -<p>"Don't you want some candy, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"No—you ain't <i>got</i> no candy, I bleeve."</p> - -<p>"Well, you sha'n't have any, if you don't -stop being so cross."</p> - -<p>The only reply to this was a mighty and audible -rustling of the bedding in the boys' room, -followed by a sound strongly resembling that -caused by a slap; then came a prolonged wail, -resembling that of an ungreased wagon wheel.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_149">149</span></p> - -<p>"What's the matter, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"Budge s'apped me—ah—h—h—h!"</p> - -<p>"What made you slap your brother, -Budge?"</p> - -<p>"I <i>didn't</i>."</p> - -<p>"You <i>did</i>!" screamed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"I tell you I didn't—you're a naughty, bad -boy to tell such lies, Toddie."</p> - -<p>"What <i>did</i> you do, Budge?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"Why—why—I was—I was turnin' over -in bed, an' my hand was out, an' it tumbled -against to Toddie—that's what."</p> - -<p>By this time I was dressed and in the boys' -room. Both my nephews were sitting up in -bed, Budge looking as sullen as an old jailbird, -and Toddie with tears streaming all -over his face.</p> - -<p>"Boys," said I, "don't be angry with each -other—it isn't right. What do you suppose -the Lord thinks, when He sees you so cross -to each other?"</p> - -<p>"He don't think noffin'," said Budge; "you -don't think He can look through a black sky -like that, do you?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_150">150</span></p> - -<p>"He can look anywhere, Budge, and He -feels very unhappy when He sees little -brothers angry with each other."</p> - -<p>"Well, I feel unhappy, too—I wish there -wasn't never no old rain, nor noffin'."</p> - -<p>"Then what would plants and flowers do -for a drink and where would rivers come from -for you to go sailing on?"</p> - -<p>"An' wawtoo to mate mud-pies," added -Toddie. "You's a naughty boy, Budgie"; -and here Toddie's tears began to flow -afresh.</p> - -<p>"I <i>ain't</i> a bad boy, an' I don't want no old -rain nohow, an' that's all about it. An' I -don't want to get up, an' Maggie must bring -me up my breakfast in bed."</p> - -<p>"Boo—hoo—oo," wept Toddie, "wants -my brepspup in bed too."</p> - -<p>"Boys," said I, "now listen. You can't -have any breakfast at all, unless you are up -and dressed by the time the bell rings. The -rising-bell rang some time ago. Now dress -like good boys, and you shall have some -breakfast, and then you'll feel a great deal<span class="pagenum" id="Page_151">151</span> -nicer, and then Uncle Harry will play with -you and tell you stories all day long."</p> - -<p>Budge crept reluctantly out of bed and -caught up one of his stockings, while Toddie -again began to cry.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p151"></a> -<img src="images/p151.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"AN' WAWTOO TO MATE MUD-PIES"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Toddie!" I shouted, "stop that dreadful -racket, and dress yourself! What are you -crying for?"</p> - -<p>"Well, I feelsh bad."</p> - -<p>"Well, dress yourself, and you'll feel better."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_152">152</span></p> - -<p>"Wantsh <i>you</i> to djesh me."</p> - -<p>"Bring me your clothes, then—quick!"</p> - -<p>Again the tears flowed copiously. "Don't -<i>want</i> to bring 'em," said Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Then come here!" I shouted, dragging -him across the room and snatching up his -tiny articles of apparel. I had dressed no -small children since I was rather a small boy -myself, and Toddies clothing confused me -somewhat. I finally got something on him, -when a contemptuous laugh from Budge interrupted -me.</p> - -<p>"How you goin' to put his shirt on -under them things?" queried my oldest -nephew.</p> - -<p>"Budge," I retorted, "how are you going -to get any breakfast if you don't put on something -besides that stocking?"</p> - -<p>The young man's countenance fell, and -just then the breakfast-bell rang. Budge -raised a blank face, hurried to the head of the -stairs and shouted:—</p> - -<p>"Maggie?"</p> - -<p>"What is it, Budge?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_153">153</span></p> - -<p>"Was—was that the rising-bell or the -breakfast-bell?"</p> - -<p>"'Twas the breakfast-bell."</p> - -<p>There was dead silence for a moment, and -then Budge shouted:—</p> - -<p>"Well, we'll call that the risin'-bell. You -can ring another bell for breakfast pretty -soon, when I get dressed." Then this volunteer -adjuster of household affairs came calmly -back and commenced dressing in good earnest, -while I labored along with Toddie's -wardrobe.</p> - -<p>"Where's the button-hook, Budge?" said I.</p> - -<p>"It's—I—oh—um—I put it—say, Tod, -what did you do with the button-hook yesterday?"</p> - -<p>"Didn't hazh no button-hook," asserted -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Yes, you did; don't you 'member how we -was a playin' draw teef, an' the doctor's dog -had the toofache, and I was pullin' his teef -with the button-hook an' you was my little -boy, an' I gived the toof-puller to you to hold -for me? Where did you put it?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_154">154</span></p> - -<p>"<i>I'd</i> no," replied Toddie, putting his hand -in his pocket and bringing out a sickly-looking -toad.</p> - -<p>"Feel again," said I, throwing the toad out -of the window, where it was followed by an -agonized shriek from Toddie. Again he felt, -and his search was rewarded by the tension-screw -of Helen's sewing-machine. Then I -attempted some research myself, and speedily -found my fingers adhering to something -of a sticky consistency. I quickly withdrew -my hand, exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"What nasty stuff <i>have</i> you got in your -pocket, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"'Tain't nashty 'tuff—it's byead an' lasses, -an' it's nice, an' Budge an' me hazh little tea -parties in de kicken-coop, an' we eats it, an' -its <i>dovely</i>."</p> - -<p>All this was lucid and disgusting, but utterly -unproductive of button-hooks, and -meanwhile the breakfast was growing cold. -I succeeded in buttoning Toddie's shoes with -my fingers, splitting most of my nails in the -operation. I had been too busily engaged<span class="pagenum" id="Page_155">155</span> -with Toddie to pay any attention to Budge, -who I now found about half dressed and trying -to catch flies on the window pane.</p> - -<p>Snatching Toddie, I started for the dining-room, -when Budge remarked reprovingly:</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, <i>you</i> wasn't dressed when -the bell rang, and <i>you</i> oughtn't to have any -breakfast."</p> - -<p>True enough—I was minus collar, cravat, -and coat. Hurrying these on, and starting -again, I was once more arrested:—</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, must I brush my teeth this -morning?"</p> - -<p>"No—hurry up—come down without doing -anything more, if you like, but <i>come</i>—it'll -be dinner-time before we get breakfast."</p> - -<p>Then that imp was moved, for the first -time that morning to something like good-nature, -and he exclaimed with a giggle:—</p> - -<p>"My! What big stomachs we'd have when -we got done, wouldn't we?"</p> - -<p>At the breakfast table Toddie wept again, -because I insisted on beginning operations -before Budge came. Then neither boy knew<span class="pagenum" id="Page_156">156</span> -exactly what he wanted. Then Budge managed -to upset the contents of his plate into -his lap, and while I was helping him to clear -away the débris, Toddie improved the opportunity -to pour his milk upon his fish and put -several spoonfuls of oatmeal porridge into -my coffee-cup. I made an early excuse to -leave the table and turn the children over to -Maggie. I felt as tired as if I had done a -hard day's work, and was somewhat appalled -at realizing that the day had barely begun. -I lit a cigar and sat down to Helen's piano. -I am not a musician, but even the chords of -a hand-organ would have seemed sweet -music to me on that morning. The music-book -nearest to my hand was a church hymn-book, -and the first air my eye struck was -"Greenville." I lived once in a town, where, -on a single day, a peddler disposed of thirty-eight -accordions, each with an instruction-book -in which this same air, under its original -name, was the only air. For years after, a -single bar of this air awakened the most -melancholy reflections in my mind, but now<span class="pagenum" id="Page_157">157</span> -I forgave all my musical tormentors as the -familiar strains came comfortingly from the -piano-keys. But suddenly I heard an accompaniment—a -sort of reedy sound—and -looking round, I saw Toddie again in tears. -I stopped abruptly and asked:—</p> - -<p>"What's the matter <i>now</i>, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"Don't want dat old tune; wantsh dancin' -tune, so I can dance."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p157"></a> -<img src="images/p157.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"WANTSH DANCIN' TUNE"</div> -</div> - -<p>I promptly played "Yankee Doodle," and -Toddie began to trot around the room with -the expression of a man who intended to do<span class="pagenum" id="Page_158">158</span> -his whole duty. Then Budge appeared, hugging -a bound volume of "St. Nicholas." The -moment that Toddie espied this he stopped -dancing and devoted himself anew to the task -of weeping.</p> - -<p>"Toddie!" I shouted, springing from the -piano stool, "what do you mean by crying at -everything? I shall have to put you to bed -again if you're going to be such a baby."</p> - -<p>"That's the way he <i>always</i> does, rainy -days," exclaimed Budge.</p> - -<p>"Wantsh to see the whay-al what fwallowed -Djonah," sobbed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Can't you demand something that's within -the range of possibility, Toddie?" I mildly -asked.</p> - -<p>"The whale Toddie means is in this big red -book; I'll find it for you," said Budge, turning -over the leaves.</p> - -<p>Suddenly a rejoicing squeal from Toddie -announced that leviathan had been found, -and I hastened to gaze. He was certainly a -dreadful-looking animal, but he had an enormous -mouth, which Toddie caressed with his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_159">159</span> -pudgy little hand, and kissed with tenderness, -murmuring as he did so:—</p> - -<p>"<i>Dee</i> old whay-al, I loves you. Is Djonah -all goneded out of you 'tomach, whay-al? I -finks 'twas weal mean in Djonah to get froed -up when you hadn't noffin' else to eat, <i>poor</i> -old whay-al."</p> - -<p>"Of <i>course</i> Jonah's gone," said Budge, "he -went to heaven long ago—pretty soon after -he went to Nineveh an' done what the Lord -told him to do. Now swing us, Uncle -Harry."</p> - -<p>The swing was on the piazza under cover -from the rain; so I obeyed. Both boys -fought for the right to swing first, and when -I decided in favor of Budge, Toddie went off -weeping, and declaring that he would look at -his dear whay-al anyhow. A moment later -his wail changed to a piercing shriek; and, -running to his assistance, I saw him holding -one finger tenderly and trampling on a wasp.</p> - -<p>"What's the matter, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"Oo—oo—ee—ee—ee—<i>ee</i>—I putted my -finger on a waps, and—oo—oo—the nasty old<span class="pagenum" id="Page_160">160</span> -waps—oo—bited me. An' I don't like wapses -a bit, but I likes whay-als—oo—ee—ee."</p> - -<p>A happy thought struck me. "Why don't -you boys make believe that big packing-box -in your play-room is a whale?" said I.</p> - -<p>A compound shriek of delight followed the -suggestion, and both boys scrambled upstairs, -leaving me a free man again. I looked remorsefully -at the tableful of books which I -had brought to read, and had not looked at -for a week. Even now my remorse did not -move me to open them—I found myself, instead, -attracted toward Tom's library, and -conning the titles of novels and volumes of -poems. My eye was caught by "Initials," a -love story which I had always avoided because -I had heard impressionable young ladies -rave about it; but now I picked it up and -dropped into an easy chair. Suddenly I -heard Mike, the coachman, shouting:—</p> - -<p>"Go 'way from there, will ye? Ah, ye -little spalpeen, it's good for ye that yer fahder -don't see ye perched up dhere. Go 'way from -dhat, or I'll be tellin' yer uncle."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_161">161</span></p> - -<p>"Don't care for nashty old uncle," piped -Toddie's voice.</p> - -<p>I laid down my book with a sigh, and -went into the garden. Mike saw me and -shouted:</p> - -<p>"Mister Burthon, will you look dhere? -Did ye's ever see the loike av dhat bye?"</p> - -<p>Looking up at the play-room window, a -long, narrow sort of loop-hole in a Gothic -gable, I beheld my youngest nephew standing -upright on the sill.</p> - -<p>"Toddie, go in—quick!" I shouted, hurrying -under the window to catch him in case -he fell outward.</p> - -<p>"I tan't!" squealed Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Mike, run upstairs and snatch him in! -Toddie, go in, I tell you!"</p> - -<p>"Tell you I <i>tan't</i> doe in," repeated Toddie. -"<i>Ze</i> bid bots ish ze whay-al, an' I'ze Djonah, -an' ze whay-al's froed me up, an' I'ze dot to -'tay up here else ze whay-al 'ill fwallow me -aden."</p> - -<p>"I won't <i>let</i> him swallow you. Get in now—hurry," -said I.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_162">162</span></p> - -<p>"Will you give him a penny not to fwallow -me no more?" queried Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Yes—a whole lot of pennies."</p> - -<p>"Aw wight. Whay-al, don't you fwallow -me no more, an' zen my Ocken Hawwy div -you whole lots of pennies. You must be weal -dood whay-al now, an' then I buys you some -tandy wif your pennies, an'——"</p> - -<p>Just then two great hands seized Toddie's -frock in front, and he disappeared with a -howl, while I, with the first feeling of faintness -I had ever experienced, went in search -of hammer, nails, and some strips of board, -to nail on the outside of the window-frame. -But boards could not be found, so I went up -to the play-room and began to knock a piece -or two off the box which had done duty as -whale. A pitiful scream from Toddie caused -me to stop.</p> - -<p>"You're hurtin' my dee old whay-al; you's -breakin' his 'tomach all open—you's a baddy -man—'<i>top</i> hurtin' my whay-al, ee—ee—ee!" -cried my nephew.</p> - -<p>"I'm not hurting him, Toddie," said I.<span class="pagenum" id="Page_163">163</span> -"I'm making his mouth bigger, so he can -swallow you easier."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p163"></a> -<img src="images/p163.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">TWO GREAT HANDS SEIZED TODDIE</div> -</div> - -<p>A bright thought came into Toddie's face -and shone through his -tears. "Then he can -fwallow Budgie too, an' -there'll be -two Djonahs—ha—ha—ha! -Make his -mouf so big -he can fwallow -Mike, -an' zen -mate it 'ittle -aden, so -Mike tan't det <i>out</i>; nashty old Mike!"</p> - -<p>I explained that Mike would not come upstairs -again, so I was permitted to depart -after securing the window.</p> - -<p>Again I settled myself with book and cigar; -there was at least for me the extra enjoyment -that comes from the sense of pleasure earned<span class="pagenum" id="Page_164">164</span> -by honest toil. Pretty soon Budge entered -the room. I affected not to notice him, but -he was not in the least abashed by my -neglect.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said he, throwing himself -in my lap, between my book and me, "I don't -feel a bit nice."</p> - -<p>"What's the matter, old fellow?" I asked. -Until he spoke I could have boxed his ears -with great satisfaction to myself; but there -is so much genuine feeling in whatever Budge -says that he commands respect.</p> - -<p>"Oh, I'm tired of playin' with Toddie, an' -I feel lonesome. Won't you tell me a story?"</p> - -<p>"Then what'll poor Toddie do, Budge?"</p> - -<p>"Oh, he won't mind—he's got a dead -mouse to be Jonah now, so I don't have no -fun at all. Won't you tell me a story?"</p> - -<p>"Which one?"</p> - -<p>"Tell me one that I never heard before at -all."</p> - -<p>"Well, let's see; I guess I'll tell——"</p> - -<p>"Ah—ah—ah—ah—ee—ee—ee!" sounded -afar off, but fatefully. It came nearer—it<span class="pagenum" id="Page_165">165</span> -came down the stairway and into the library, -accompanied by Toddie, who, on spying me, -dropped his inarticulate utterance, held up -both hands, and exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"Djonah bwoke he -tay-al!"</p> - -<p>True enough; in one -hand Toddie held the -body of a -mouse, and -in the other that animal's caudal appendage; -there was also perceptible, though not by the -sense of sight, an objectionable odor in the -room.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p165"></a> -<img src="images/p165.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"HE'S GOT A DEAD MOUSE TO BE JONAH NOW"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Toddie," said I, "go throw Jonah into the -chicken coop, and I'll give you some candy."</p> - -<p>"Me too," shouted Budge, "'cos I found -the mouse for him."</p> - -<p>I made both boys happy with candy, ex<span class="pagenum" id="Page_166">166</span>acted -a pledge not to go out in the rain, and -then, turning them loose on the piazza, returned -to my book. I had read, perhaps, -half a dozen pages, when there arose and -swelled rapidly in volume a scream from -Toddie. Madly determined to put both boys -into chairs, tie them, and clap adhesive plaster -over their mouths, I rushed out upon the -piazza.</p> - -<p>"Budgie tried to eat my candy," complained -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"I didn't," said Budge.</p> - -<p>"What <i>did</i> you do?" I demanded.</p> - -<p>"I didn't bite it at all—I only wanted to -see how it would feel between my teeth—that's -all."</p> - -<p>I felt the corners of my mouth breaking -down, and hurried back to the library, where -I spent a quiet quarter of an hour in pondering -over the demoralizing influence exerted -upon principle by a sense of the ludicrous. -For some time afterward the boys got along -without doing anything worse than make a -dreadful noise, which caused me to resolve to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_167">167</span> -find some method of deadening piazza floors -if <i>I</i> ever owned a house in the country. In -the occasional intervals of comparative quiet, -I caught snatches of very funny conversation. -The boys had coined a great many words -whose meaning was evident enough, but I -wondered greatly why Tom and Helen had -never taught them the proper substitutes.</p> - -<p>Among others was the word "deader," -whose meaning I could not imagine. Budge -shouted:—</p> - -<p>"O Tod! there comes a deader! See where -all them things like rooster's tails are -a-shakin'?—Well, there's a deader under -them."</p> - -<p>"Datsh funny," remarked Toddie.</p> - -<p>"An' see all the peoples a-comin' along," -continued Budge, "<i>they</i> know 'bout the -deader, an' they're goin' to see it fixed. Here -it comes. Hello, deader!"</p> - -<p>"Hay-oh, deader!" echoed Toddie.</p> - -<p>What <i>could</i> "deader" mean?</p> - -<p>"Oh, here it is right in front of us," cried -Budge, "and <i>ain't</i> there lots of people? An'<span class="pagenum" id="Page_168">168</span> -two horses to pull the deader—<i>some</i> deaders -has only one."</p> - -<p>My curiosity was too much for my weariness; -I went to the front window, and, peering -through, saw—a funeral procession! In -a second I was on the piazza, with my hands -on the children's collars; a second later two -small boys were on the floor of the hall, the -front door was closed, and two determined -hands covered two threatening little mouths.</p> - -<p>When the procession had fairly passed the -house, I released the boys and heard two prolonged -howls for my pains. Then I asked -Budge if he wasn't ashamed to talk that way -when a funeral was passing.</p> - -<p>"<i>'Twasn't</i> a funeral," said he, "'Twas only -a deader, an' deaders can't hear noffin'."</p> - -<p>"But the people in the carriages could," -said I.</p> - -<p>"Well," said he, "they were so glad that -the other part of the deader had gone to -heaven that they didn't care <i>what</i> I said. -Everbody's glad when the other part of deaders -go to heaven. Papa told me he was glad<span class="pagenum" id="Page_169">169</span> -dear little Phillie was in heaven, an' I <i>was</i>, -but I do want to see him again awful."</p> - -<p>"Wantsh to shee Phillie aden awfoo," said -Toddie, as I kissed Budge and hurried off to -the library, unfit just then to administer -further instruction or reproof. Of one thing -I was very certain—I wished the rain would -cease falling, so the children could go out of -doors, and I could get a little rest, and freedom -from responsibility. But the skies -showed no sign of being emptied, the boys -were snarling on the stairway, and I was -losing my temper quite rapidly.</p> - -<p>Suddenly I bethought me of one of the -delights of my own childish days—the making -of scrap-books. One of Tom's library -drawers held a great many <i>Lady's Journals</i>. -Of course Helen meant to have them bound, -but I could easily re-purchase the numbers -for her; they would cost two or three dollars, -but peace was cheap at that price. On a -high shelf in the play-room I had seen some -supplementary volumes of "Mercantile -Agency" reports, which would in time reach<span class="pagenum" id="Page_170">170</span> -the rag-bag; there was a bottle of mucilage -in the library desk, and the children owned -an old pair of scissors. Within five minutes -I had located two happy children on the -bath-room floor, taught them to cut out pictures -(which operation I quickly found they -understood as well as I did) and to paste -them into the extemporized scrap-book. -Then I left them, recalling something from -Newman Hall's address on the "Dignity of -Labor." Why hadn't I thought before of -showing my nephews some way of occupying -their minds and hands? Who could blame -the helpless little things for following every -prompting of their unguided minds? Had I -not a hundred times been told, when sent to -the woodpile or the weediest part of the garden -in my youthful days, that</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"Satan finds some mischief still</div> -<div class="verse">For idle hands to do?"</div> -</div></div></div> - -<p>Never again would I blame the children for -being mischievous when their minds were -neglected.</p> - -<p>I spent a peaceful, pleasant hour over my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_171">171</span> -novel, when I felt that a fresh cigar would be -acceptable. Going upstairs in search of one, -I found that Budge had filled the bath-tub -with water, and was sailing boats, that is, -hair-brushes.</p> - -<p>Even this seemed too mild an offense to call -for a rebuke, so I passed on without disturbing -him, and went to my own room. I heard -Toddie's voice, and having heard from my -sister that Toddie's conversations with himself -were worth listening to, I paused outside -the door. I heard Toddie softly murmur:—</p> - -<p>"Zere, pitty yady, 'tay <i>zere</i>. Now, 'ittle -boy, I put you wif your mudder, 'tause mudders -like zere 'ittle boys wif zem. An' you -s'all have 'ittle sister tudder side of you,—zere. -Now, 'ittle boy's an' 'ittle girl's mudder, -don't you feel happy?—isn't I awfoo -good to give you your 'ittle tsilderns? You -ought to say, 'Fank you, Toddie,—you's a -nice, fweet 'ittle djentleman.'"</p> - -<p>I peered cautiously—then I entered the -room hastily. I didn't say anything for a -moment, for it was impossible to do justice<span class="pagenum" id="Page_172">172</span> -impromptu, to the subject. Toddie had a -progressive mind—if pictorial ornamentation -was good for old books, why should not -similar ornamentation be extended to objects -more likely to be seen? Such may not -have been Toddie's line of thought, but his -recent operations warranted such a supposition. -He had cut out a number of pictures, -and pasted them upon the wall of my room—my -sister's darling room, with its walls tinted -exquisitely in pink. As a member of a hanging -committee, Toddie would hardly have -satisfied taller people, but he had arranged -the pictures quite regularly, at about the -height of his own eyes, had favored no one -artist more than another, and had hung indiscriminately -figure pieces, landscapes, and -genre pictures. The temporary break of -wall-line occasioned by the door communicating -with his own room he had overcome -by closing the door and carrying a line of pictures -across its lower panels. Occasionally a -picture fell off the wall, but the mucilage -remained faithful, and glistened with its fer<span class="pagenum" id="Page_173">173</span>vor -of devotion. And yet so untouched was -I by this artistic display, that when I found -strength to shout, "Toddie," it was in a tone -which caused this industrious amateur decorator -to start violently, and drop his mucilage -bottle, open end first, upon the carpet.</p> - -<p>"What will mamma say?" I asked.</p> - -<p>Toddie gazed, first blankly, and then inquiringly, -into my face; finding no answer or -sympathy there he burst into tears, and replied:—</p> - -<p>"I dunno."</p> - -<p>The ringing of the lunch bell changed Toddie -from a tearful cherub into a very practical, -business-like boy, and shouting, "Come -on, Budge!" he hurried downstairs, while I -tormented myself with wonder as to how I -could best and most quickly undo the mischief -Toddie had done.</p> - -<p>I will concede to my nephews the credit of -keeping reasonably quiet during meals; their -tongues, doubtless, longed to be active in -both the principal capacities of those useful -members, but they had no doubt as to how to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_174">174</span> -choose between silence and hunger. The result -was a reasonably comfortable half-hour. -Just as I began to cut a melon, Budge broke -the silence by exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"O Uncle Harry, we haven't been out to -see the goat to-day!"</p> - -<p>"Budge," I replied, "I'll carry you out -there under an umbrella after lunch, and you -may play with that goat all the afternoon, if -you like."</p> - -<p>"Oh, won't that be nice?" exclaimed -Budge. "The poor goat! he'll think I don't -love him a bit, 'cause I haven't been to see -him to-day. Does goats go to heaven when -they die, Uncle Harry?"</p> - -<p>"Guess not—they'd make trouble in the -golden streets I'm afraid."</p> - -<p>"Oh, dear! then Phillie can't see my goat. -I'm so awful sorry," said Budge.</p> - -<p>"<i>I</i> can see your goat, Budgie," suggested -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Huh!" said Budge, very contemptuously. -"<i>You</i> ain't dead."</p> - -<p>"Well, Izhe <i>goin'</i> to be dead some day, an'<span class="pagenum" id="Page_175">175</span> -zen your nashty old goat sha'n't see me a bit—see -how he like <i>zat</i>." And Toddie made a -ferocious attack on a slice of melon nearly as -large as himself.</p> - -<p>After lunch, Toddie was sent to his room to -take his afternoon nap, and Budge went to -the barn on my shoulders. I gave Mike a -dollar, with instructions to keep Budge in -sight, to keep him from teasing the goat, and -to prevent his being impaled or butted. Then -I stretched myself on a lounge and wondered -whether only half a day of daylight had -elapsed since I and the most adorable woman -in the world had been so happy together. -How much happier I would be when next I -met her! The very torments of this rainy -day would make my joy seem all the dearer -and more intense. I dreamed happily for a -few moments with my eyes open, and then -somehow they closed, without my knowledge. -What put into my mind the wreck scene from -the play of "David Copperfield," I don't -know; but there it came, and in my dream -I was sitting in the balcony at Booth's, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_176">176</span> -taking a proper interest in the scene, when it -occurred to me that the thunder had less of -reverberation and more woodenness than -good stage thunder should have. The mental -exertion I underwent on this subject -disturbed the course of my nap, but as wakefulness -returned, the sound of the poorly -simulated thunder did not cease; on the -contrary, it was just as noisy, and more -hopelessly a counterfeit than ever. What -could the sound be? I stepped through the -window to the piazza, and the sound was -directly over my head. I sprang down the -terrace and out upon the lawn, looked up, -and beheld my youngest nephew strutting -back and forth on the tin roof of the piazza, -holding over his head a ragged old parasol. -I roared:—"Go in, Toddie—this instant!"</p> - -<p>The sound of my voice startled the young -man so severely that he lost his footing, fell, -and began to roll toward the edge and to -scream, both operations being performed -with great rapidity. I ran to catch him as -he fell, but the outer edge of the water trough<span class="pagenum" id="Page_177">177</span> -was high enough to arrest his progress, -though it had no effect in reducing the volume -of his howls.</p> - -<p>"Toddie," I shouted, "lie perfectly still -until uncle can -get to you! Do -you hear?"</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p177"></a> -<img src="images/p177.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">HOLDING OVER HIS HEAD A RAGGED PARASOL</div> -</div> - -<p>"Ess, but don't -want to lie 'till," -came in reply -from the roof.</p> - -<p>"'Tan't shee noffin' -but sky an' -wain."</p> - -<p>"Lie still," I -reiterated, "or I'll -whip you dreadfully." -Then I -dashed upstairs, -removed my -shoes, climbed -out and rescued Toddie, shook him soundly, -and then shook myself.</p> - -<p>"I wash only djust pyayin mamma, an'<span class="pagenum" id="Page_178">178</span> -walkin' in ze wain wif an umbayalla," Toddie -explained.</p> - -<p>I threw him upon his bed and departed. -It was plain that neither logic, threats, nor the -presence of danger could keep this dreadful -child from doing whatever he chose; what -other means of restraint could be employed? -Although not as religious a man as my good -mother could wish, I really wondered whether -prayer, as a last resort, might not be effective. -For his good and my own peace, I would -cheerfully have read through the whole -prayer-book. I could hardly have done it -just then, though, for Mike solicited an -audience at the back door, and reported that -Budge had given the carriage sponge to the -goat, put handfuls of oats into the pump -cylinder, pulled hairs out of the black mare's -tail, and with a sharp nail drawn pictures on -the enamel of the carriage-body. Budge -made no denial, but looked very much aggrieved, -and remarked that he couldn't never -be happy without somebody having to go -get bothered; and he wished there wasn't<span class="pagenum" id="Page_179">179</span> -nobody in the world but organ-grinders and -candy-store men. He followed me into the -house, flung himself into a chair, put on a -look which I imagine Byron wore before he -was old enough to be malicious, and exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"I don't see what little boys was made for, -anyhow; if ev'rybody gets cross with them, -an' don't let 'em do what they want to. I'll -bet when I get to heaven, the Lord won't be -as ugly to me as Mike is,—an' some other -folks, too. I wish I could die and be buried -right away,—me an' the goat—an' go to -heaven, where we wouldn't be scolded."</p> - -<p>Poor little fellow! First I laughed inwardly -at his idea of heaven, and then I -wondered whether my own was very different -from it, or any more creditable. I had no -time to spend, however, even in pious reflection. -Budge was quite wet, his shoes were -soaking, and he already had an attack of -catarrh; so I took him to his room and redressed -him, wondering all the while how -much similar duties my own father had had<span class="pagenum" id="Page_180">180</span> -to do for me had shortened his life, and how -with such a son as I was, he lived as long as -he did. The idea that I was in some slight -degree atoning for my early sins, so filled my -thoughts that I did not at first notice the -absence of Toddie. When it <i>did</i> become -evident to me that my youngest nephew was -not in the bed in which I had placed him, I -went in search of him. He was in none of -the chambers, but hearing gentle murmurs -issue from a long, light closet, I looked in and -saw Toddie sitting on the floor, and eating -the cheese out of a mouse-trap. A squeak -of my boots betrayed me, and Toddie, equal -to the emergency, sprang to his feet and -exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"I didn't hurt de 'ittle mousie one bittie; -I just letted him out, and he runded away."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p181"></a> -<img src="images/p181.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"I DIDN'T HURT DE 'ITTLE MOUSIE"</div> -</div> - -<p>And still it rained. Oh, for a single hour -of sunlight, so that the mud might be only -damp dirt, and the children could play without -tormenting other people! But it was not -to be; slowly, and by the aid of songs, stories, -an improvised menagerie, in which I person<span class="pagenum" id="Page_181">181</span>ated -every animal, besides playing ostrich -and armadillo, and with a great many disagreements, -the afternoon wore to its close, -and my heart slowly lightened. Only an -hour or two more, and the children would be -in bed for the night, and then I would enjoy, -in unutterable measure, the peaceful hours -which would be mine. Even now they were -inclined to behave themselves; they were -tired and hungry, and stretched themselves -on the floor to await dinner. I embraced the -opportunity to return to my book, but I had -hardly read a page, when a combined crash -and scream summoned me to the dining-room. -On the floor lay Toddie, a great many -dishes, a roast leg of lamb, several ears of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_182">182</span> -green corn, the butter-dish and its contents, -and several other misplaced edibles. One -thing was quite evident; the scalding contents -of the gravy-dish had been emptied on -Toddie's arm, and how severely the poor -child might be scalded I did not know. I -hastily split open his sleeve from wrist to -shoulder, and found the skin very red; so, -remembering my mother's favorite treatment -for scalds and bums, I quickly spread the -contents of a dish of mashed potato on a -clean handkerchief, and wound the whole -around Toddie's arm as a poultice. Then I -demanded an explanation.</p> - -<p>"I was only djust reatchin' for a pieshe of -bwed," sobbed Toddie, "an' then the bad old -tabo beginded to froe all its fings at me, an' -tumble down bang."</p> - -<p>He undoubtedly told the truth as far as he -knew it; but reaching over tables is a bad habit -in small boys, especially when their mothers -cling to old-fashioned heirlooms of tables, -which have folding leaves; so I banished -Toddie to his room, supperless, to think of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_183">183</span> -what he had done. With Budge alone, I had -a comfortable dinner off the salvage from the -wreck caused by Toddie, and then I went -upstairs to see if the offender had repented. -It was hard to tell, by sight, whether he had -or not, for his back was to me, as he flattened -his nose against the window, but I could see -that my poultice was gone.</p> - -<p>"Where is what uncle put on your arm, -Toddie?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"I ate it up," said the truthful youth.</p> - -<p>"Did you eat the handkerchief, too?"</p> - -<p>"No; I froed nashty old handkerchief out -the window—don't want dirty old handkerchiefs -in my nice 'ittle room."</p> - -<p>I was so glad that his burn had been slight -that I forgave the insult to my handkerchief, -and called up Budge, so that I might at once -get both boys into bed, and emerge from -the bondage in which I had lived all day -long. But the task was no easy one. Of -course my brother-in-law, Tom Lawrence, -knows better than any other man the necessities -of his own children, but no children of<span class="pagenum" id="Page_184">184</span> -mine shall ever be taught so many methods -of imposing upon parental good-nature. -Their program called for stories, songs, -moral conversations, frolics, the presentation -of pennies, the dropping of the same, at long -intervals, into tin savings-banks, followed by -a deafening shaking-up of both banks; then -a prayer must be offered, and no conventional -one would be tolerated; then the boys -performed their own devotions, after which I -was allowed to depart with an interchange of -"God bless yous." As this evening I left -the room with their innocent benedictions -sounding in my ears, a sense of personal -weakness, induced by the events of the day, -moved me to fervently respond "Amen!"</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p185"></a> -<img src="images/p185.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption"> A TRIBUTE TO MOTHERS</div> -</div> - -<p>Mothers of American boys, accept from me -a tribute of respect, which no words can fitly -express—of wonder greater than any of the -great things of the world ever inspired—of -adoration as earnest and devout as the Catholic -pays to the Virgin. In a single day, I, a -strong man, with nothing else to occupy my -mind, am reduced to physical and mental<span class="pagenum" id="Page_185">185</span> -worthlessness by the necessities of two boys -not overmischievous or bad. And you—Heaven -only knows -how—have unbroken -weeks, months, years, -yes, lifetimes of just -such experiences, and -with them the burden -of household cares, -of physical ills and -depressions, of mental -anxieties that -pierce thy hearts -with as many -sorrows as -grieved the -Holy Mother -of old. Compared -with thy endurance, that of the young -man, the athlete, is as weakness; the secret of -thy nerves, wonderful even in their weakness, -is as great as that of the power of the winds. -To display decision, thy opportunities are more -frequent than those of the greatest states<span class="pagenum" id="Page_186">186</span>men; -thy heroism laughs into insignificance -that of fort and field; thou art trained in a -school of diplomacy such as the most experienced -court cannot furnish. Do scoffers say -thou canst not hold the reins of government? -Easier is it to rule a band of savages than to -be the successful autocrat of thy little kingdom. -Compared with the ways of men, even -thy failures are full of glory. Be thy faults -what they may, thy one great, mysterious, -unapproachable success places thee, in desert, -far above warrior, ruler or priest.</p> - -<p>The foregoing soliloquy passed through my -mind as I lay upon the bed where I had -thrown myself after leaving the children's -room. Whatever else attempted to affect me -mentally, found my mind a blank until the -next morning, when I awoke to realize that I -had dropped asleep just where I fell, and that -I had spent nearly twelve hours lying across -a bed in an uncomfortable position, and -without removing my daily attire. My next -impression was that quite a bulky letter had -been pushed under my chamber-door. Could<span class="pagenum" id="Page_187">187</span> -it be that my darling—I hastily seized the -envelope and found it addressed in my sister's -writing, and promising a more voluminous -letter than that lady had ever before -honored me with. I opened it, dropping an -enclosure which, doubtless, was a list of -necessities which I would please pack, etc. -and read as follows:—</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p> - -<span class="smcap">July 1, 1875.</span><br /> -</p> - -<p>"<span class="smcap">My Dear Old Brother</span>:—<i>Wouldn't</i> I like to give -you the warmest of sisterly hugs? I can't believe it, -and yet I am in ecstasies over it. To think that <i>you</i> -should have got that perfection of a girl, who has declined -so many great catches—<i>you</i>, my sober, business-like, -unromantic big brother—oh, it's too wonderful! -But now I think of it, you are just the people for each -other. I'd like to say that it's just what I'd always -longed for, and I invited you to Hillcrest to bring it -about; but the trouble with such a story would be -that it wouldn't have a word of truth in it. You always -<i>did</i> have a faculty for doing just what you -pleased, and what nobody ever expected you to do, -but now you've exceeded yourself.</p> - -<p>"And to think that my little darlings played an important -part in bringing it all about! I shall take the -credit of <i>that</i>, for if it hadn't been for me who would -have helped you, sir? I shall expect you to remember -both of them handsomely at Christmas.</p> - -<p>"I don't believe I am guilty of breach of confidence -in sending the enclosed, which I have just received -from my sister-in-law that is to be. It will tell you<span class="pagenum" id="Page_188">188</span> -some causes of your success of which you, with a man's -conceit, haven't imagined for a minute, and it will tell -you, too, of a maiden's first and natural fear under -such circumstances—a fear which I know you, with -your honest, generous heart, will hasten to dispel. -As you're a man, you're quite likely to be too stupid -to read what's written between the lines; so I'd better -tell you that Alice's fear is that in letting herself go so -easily, she may have seemed to lack proper reserve -and self-respect. You don't need to be told that no -woman alive has more of these very qualities.</p> - -<p>"Bless your dear old heart, Harry,—you deserve to -be shaken to death if you're not the happiest man -alive. I <i>must</i> hurry home and see you both with my -own eyes, and learn to believe that all this wonderful, -glorious thing has come to pass. Give Alice a sister's -kiss for me (if you know how to give more than one -kind), and give my cherubs a hundred each from the -mother that wants to see them so much.</p> - -<p> -"With love and congratulations,<br /> -<br /> -"<span class="smcap">Helen</span>."<br /> -</p></blockquote> - -<p>The other letter, which I opened with considerable -reverence and more delight, ran as -follows:</p> - -<blockquote> - -<p> - -"<span class="smcap">Hillcrest</span>, June 29, 1875.<br /> -</p> - -<p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Friend Helen</span>:—Something has happened -and I am very happy, but I am more than a little -troubled over it, too, and, as you are one of the persons -nearly concerned, I am going to confess to you as soon -as possible. Harry—your brother, I mean—will be -sure to tell you very soon, if he hasn't done so already, -and I want to make all possible haste to solemnly -assure you that I hadn't the slightest idea of such a<span class="pagenum" id="Page_189">189</span> -thing coming to pass, and I didn't do the slightest -thing to bring it about.</p> - -<p>"I always thought your brother was a splendid -fellow, and have never been afraid to express my mind -about him, when there was no one but girls to listen. -But out here, I have somehow learned to admire him -more than ever. I cheerfully acquit <i>him</i> of intentionally -doing anything to create a favorable impression; -if his several appearances before me <i>have</i> been studied, -he is certainly the most original being I ever heard of. -Your children are angels—you've told me so yourself, -and I've my own very distinct impression on the subject, -but they <i>don't</i> study to save their uncle's appearance. -The figures that unfortunate man has cut -several times—well, I won't try to describe them on -paper, for fear he might some day see a scrap of it and -take offense. But he always seems to be patient with -them, and devoted to them, and I haven't been able -to keep from seeing that a man who could be so lovable -with thoughtless and unreasonable children must -be perfectly adorable to the woman he loved, if she -were a woman at all. Still, I hadn't the faintest idea -that I would be the fortunate woman. At last <i>the</i> -day came, but I was in blissful ignorance of what was -to happen. Your little Charley hurt himself, and insisted -upon Har—your brother singing an odd song -to him; and just when the young gentleman was doing -the elegant to a dozen of us ladies at once, too! If you -<i>could</i> have seen his face!—it was too funny, until he -got over his annoyance, and began to feel properly -sorry for the little fellow—then he seemed all at once -to be all tenderness and heart, and I <i>did</i> wish for a -moment that conventionalities didn't exist, and I -might tell him that he was a model. Then your young<span class="pagenum" id="Page_190">190</span>est -playfully spilt a plate of soup on my dress (don't -be worried—'twas only a common muslin, and 'twill -wash). Of course I had to change it and, as I retired, -the happy thought struck me that I'd make so elaborate -a toilet that I wouldn't finish in time to join the -other ladies for the usual evening walk; consequence, -I would have a chance to monopolize a gentleman for -half an hour or more—a chance which, no thanks to -the gentlemen who don't come to Hillcrest, no lady -here has had this season. Every time I peered -through the blinds to see if the other girls had started, -I could see <i>him</i> looking so distressed, and brooding -over those two children as if he were their mother, -and he seemed <i>so</i> good. He seemed pleased to see -<i>me</i> when I appeared, and coming from such a man the -implied compliment was fully appreciated; everything -he said to me seemed a little more worth hearing than -if it had come from any man not so good. Then, -suddenly, your eldest insisted on retailing the result -of a conversation he had had with his uncle, and the -upshot was that Harry declared himself; he wasn't -romantic a bit, but he was real straightforward and -manly, while I was so completely taken back that I -couldn't think of a thing to say. Then the impudent -fellow kissed me, and I lost my tongue worse than -ever. If I had known anything of his feelings beforehand, -I should have been prepared to behave more -properly; but—O Helen, I'm so glad I <i>didn't</i> know! -I should be the happiest being that ever lived, if I -wasn't afraid that you or your husband might think -that I had given myself away too hastily. As to other -people, we will see that they don't know a word about -it for months to come.</p> - -<p>"<i>Do</i> write that I was not to blame, and make be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_191">191</span>lieve -accept me as a sister, because I <i>can't</i> offer to give -Harry up to any one else you may have picked out -for him.</p> - -<p> -"Your sincere friend,<br /> -<br /> -"<span class="smcap">Alice Mayton</span>."<br /> -</p></blockquote> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p191"></a> -<img src="images/p191.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">I SHOUTED "HURRAH".</div> -</div> - -<p>Was there ever so delightful a reveille? -All the boyishness in -me seemed suddenly -to come to the surface, -and instead of saying -and doing the decorous -thing which novelists' -heroes do under similar circumstances. -I shouted "Hurrah!" and danced into the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_192">192</span> -children's room so violently that Budge sat -up in bed and regarded me with reproving -eyes, while Toddie burst into a happy laugh, -and volunteered as a partner in the dance. -Then I realized that the rain was over, and -the sun was shining—I could take Alice out -for another drive, and until then the children -could take care of themselves. I remembered -suddenly, and with a sharp pang, that -my vacation was nearly at an end, and I -found myself consuming with impatience to -know how much longer Alice would remain -at Hillcrest. It would be cruel to wish -her in the city before the end of August, -yet I——</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, "my papa -says 'tisn't nice for folks to sit down an' go -to thinkin' before they've brushed their hair -mornin's—that's what he tells <i>me</i>."</p> - -<p>"I beg your pardon, Budge," said I, -springing up in some confusion; "I was -thinking over a matter of a great deal of importance."</p> - -<p>"What was it—my goat?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_193">193</span></p> - -<p>"No—of course not. Don't be silly, -Budge."</p> - -<p>"Well, I think about him a good deal, an' -I don't think it's silly a bit. I hope he'll go -to heaven when he dies. Do angels have -goat-carriages, Uncle Harry?"</p> - -<p>"No, old fellow—they can go about without -carriages."</p> - -<p>"When I goesh to hebben," said Toddie, -rising in bed, "Izhe goin' to have lots of goat -cawidjes an' Izhe goin' to tate all ze andjels -a-widen."</p> - -<p>With many other bits of prophesy and -celestial description I was regaled as I completed -my toilet, and I hurried out of doors -for an opportunity to think without disturbance. -Strolling past the hen-yard, I saw a -meditative turtle, and, picking him up and -shouting to my nephews, I held the reptile -up for their inspection. Their window blinds -flew open and a unanimous though not exactly -harmonious "Oh!" greeted my prize."</p> - -<p>"Where did you get it, Uncle Harry?" -asked Budge.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_194">194</span></p> - -<p>"Down by the hen-coop."</p> - -<p>Budge's eyes opened wide; he seemed to -devote a moment to profound thought, and -then he exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"Why, I don't see how the hens <i>could</i> lay -such a big thing—just put him in your hat -till I come down, will you?"</p> - -<p>I dropped the turtle into Budge's wheelbarrow, -and made a tour of the flower-borders. -The flowers, always full of suggestion -to me, seemed suddenly to have new charms -and powers; they actually impelled me to try -to make rhymes,—me, a steady white-goods -salesman! The impulse was too strong to be -resisted, though I must admit that the results -were pitifully meager:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"As radiant as that matchless rose</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Which poet-artists fancy;</div> -<div class="verse">As fair as whitest lily-blows,</div> -<div class="verse indent2">As modest as the pansy;</div> -<div class="verse">As pure as dew which hides within</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Aurora's sun-kissed chalice;</div> -<div class="verse">As tender as the primrose sweet—</div> -<div class="verse indent2">All this, and more, is Alice."</div> -</div></div></div> - -<p>In inflicting this fragment upon the reader -I have not the faintest idea that he can dis<span class="pagenum" id="Page_195">195</span>cover -any merit in it; I quote it only that a -subsequent experience of mine may be more -intelligible. When I had composed these -wretched lines I became conscious that I -had neither pencil nor paper wherewith to -preserve them. Should I lose them—my -first self-constructed poem? Never! This -was not the first time in which I had -found it necessary to preserve words by -memory alone. So I repeated my ridiculous -lines over and over again, until the eloquent -feeling of which they were the graceless expression -inspired me to accompany my recital -with gestures. Six—eight—ten—a dozen—twenty -times I repeated these lines, each -time with additional emotion and gesture, -when a thin voice, very near me, remarked:—</p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy, you does djust as if you -was swimmin'."</p> - -<p>Turning, I beheld my nephew, Toddie—how -long he had been behind me I had no -idea. He looked earnestly into my eyes, and -then remarked:—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_196">196</span></p> - -<p>"Ocken Hawwy, your faysh is wed, djust -like a wosy-posy."</p> - -<p>"Let's go right in to breakfast, Toddie," -said I aloud, as I grumbled to myself about -the faculty of observation which Tom's children -seemed to have.</p> - -<p>Immediately after breakfast I despatched -Mike with a note to Alice, informing her that -I would be glad to drive her to the Falls in -the afternoon, calling for her at two. Then -I placed myself unreservedly at the disposal -of the boys for the morning, it being distinctly -understood that they must not expect -to see me between lunch and dinner. I was -first instructed to harness the goat, which -order I obeyed, and I afterward watched that -grave animal as he drew my nephews up and -down the carriage-road, his countenance as -demure as if he had no idea of suddenly departing -when my back should be turned. -The wheels of the goat-carriage uttered the -most heart-rending noises I had ever heard -from ungreased axle; so I persuaded the boys -to dismount, and submit to the temporary<span class="pagenum" id="Page_197">197</span> -unharnessing of the goat, while I should -lubricate the axles. Half an hour of dirty -work sufficed, with such assistance as I -gained from juvenile advice, to accomplish -the task properly; then I put the horned -steed into the shafts, Budge cracked the -whip, the carriage moved off without noise, -and Toddie began to weep bitterly.</p> - -<p>"Cawwidge is all bwoke," said he; "<i>wheelsh -don't sing a bittie no more</i>," while Budge remarked:—</p> - -<p>"I think the carriage sounds kind o' lonesome -now, don't you, Uncle Harry?"</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," asked Budge, a little later -in the morning, "do you know what makes -the thunder?"</p> - -<p>"Yes, Budge—when two clouds go bump -into each other they make a good deal of noise, -and they call it thunder."</p> - -<p>"That ain't it at all," said Budge "When -it thundered yesterday it was because the -Lord was riding along through the sky an' the -wheels of his carriage made an awful noise, -an' that was the thunder."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_198">198</span></p> - -<p>"Don't like nashty old funder," remarked -Toddie. "It goesh into our cellar an' -makesh all ze milk sour—Maggie said so. -An' so I can't hazh no nice white tea for my -brepspup."</p> - -<p>"I should think you'd like the Lord to go -a-ridin', Toddie, with all the angels running -after Him," said Budge, "even if the thunder -<i>does</i> make the milk sour. And it's so splendid -to <i>see</i> the thunder bang."</p> - -<p>"How do you see it, Budge?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"Why, don't you know when the thunder -bangs, and then you see an awful bright place -in the sky?—that's where the Lord's carriage -gives an awful pound, an' makes little cracks -through the floor of heaven, an' we see right -in. But what's the reason we can't ever see -anybody through the cracks, Uncle Harry?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know, old fellow—I guess it's because -it isn't cracks in heaven that look so -bright,—it's a kind of fire that the Lord -makes up in the clouds. You'll know all -about it when you get bigger."</p> - -<p>"Well, I'll feel awful sorry if 'tain't any<span class="pagenum" id="Page_199">199</span>thing -but fire. Do you know that funny -song my papa sings 'bout:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"'Roarin' thunders, lightenin's blazes,</div> -<div class="verse">Shout the great Creator's praises?'</div> -</div></div></div> - -<p>I don't know 'zactly what it means, but I -think it's kind o' splendid, don't you?"</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p199"></a> -<img src="images/p199.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"TWO CLOUDS GO BUMP INTO EACH OTHER"</div> -</div> - -<p>I <i>did</i> know the old song; I had heard it in -a Western camp-meeting, when scarcely -older than Budge, and it left upon my mind -just the effect it seemed to have done on his. -I blessed his sympathetic young heart, and -snatched him into my arms. Instantly, he -became all boy again.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," he shouted, "you crawl on<span class="pagenum" id="Page_200">200</span> -your hands and knees and play you was a -horse, and I'll ride on your back."</p> - -<p>"No, thank you, Budge, not on the dirt."</p> - -<p>"Then let's play menagerie, an' you be all -the animals."</p> - -<p>To this proposition I assented, and after -hiding ourselves in one of the retired angles -of the house, so that no one could know who -was guilty of disturbing the peace by such -dire noises, the performance commenced. I -was by turns a bear, a lion, a zebra, an elephant, -dogs of various kinds, and a cat. As -I personated the latter named animal, Toddie -echoed my voice.</p> - -<p>"Miauw! Miauw!" said he, "dat's what -cats saysh when they goesh down wells."</p> - -<p>"Faith, an' it's him that knows," remarked -Mike, who had invited himself to a free seat -in the menagerie, and assisted in the applause -which had greeted each personation. "Would -ye belave it, Misther Harry, dhat young -dhivil got out the front door one mornin' -afore sunroise, all in his little noight-gown, -an' wint over to dhe docthor's an' picked up<span class="pagenum" id="Page_201">201</span> -a kitten lyin' on dhe kitchen door-mat, an' -throwed it down dhe well. Dhe docthor -wasn't home, but dhe missis saw him, an' her -heart was dhat tindher dhat she hurried out -and throwed boords down for dhe poor little -baste to stand on, an' let down a hoe on a -sthring, an' whin she got dhe poor little dhing -out, she was dhat faint dhat she dhrapped on -dhe grass. An' it cost Mr. Lawrence nigh -onto thirty dollars to have the docthor's well -claned out."</p> - -<p>"Yes," said Toddie, who had listened carefully -to Mike's recital, "An' kitty-kitty said, -'Miauw! Miauw!' when she goed down ze -well. An' Mish Doctor sed, 'Bad boy—go -home—don't never turn to my housh no -more,'—dat's what she said to me. Now be -some more animals, Ocken Hawwy. Can't -you be a whay-al?"</p> - -<p>"Whales don't make a noise, Toddie; they -only splash about in the water."</p> - -<p>"Zen grop in ze cistern an' 'plash, can't -you?"</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_202">202</span></p> - -<hr class="tb" /> - -<p>Lunch-time, and after it the time for Toddie -to take his nap. Poor Budge was bereft -of a playmate, for the doctor's little girl was -sick; so he quietly followed me about with a -wistful face, that almost persuaded me to -take him with me on my drive—<i>our</i> drive. -Had he grumbled, I would have felt less uncomfortable; -but there's nothing so touching -and overpowering to either gods or men, as -the spectacle of mute resignation. At last, -to my great relief, he opened his mouth.</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said he, "do you s'pose -folks ever get lonesome in heaven?"</p> - -<p>"I guess not, Budge."</p> - -<p>"Do little boy angels' papas an' mammas -go off visitin', an' stay ever so long?"</p> - -<p>"I don't exactly know, Budge, but if they -do, the little boy angels have plenty of other -little boy angels to play with, so they can't -very well be lonesome."</p> - -<p>"Well, I don't b'leeve they could make <i>me</i> -happy, when I wanted to see my papa an' -mamma. When I haven't got anybody to -play with, then I want papa an' mamma <i>so</i><span class="pagenum" id="Page_203">203</span> -bad—so bad as if I would die if I didn't see -'em right away."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p203"></a> -<img src="images/p203.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"CAN'T YOU BE A WHAY-AL?"</div> -</div> -<p>I was shaving, and only half-done, but I -hastily wiped off my face, dropped into a -rocking-chair, took the forlorn little boy into -my arms, and kissed him, caressed him, sympathized -with him, and devoted myself entirely -to the task and pleasure of comforting -him. His sober little face gradually assumed -a happier appearance; his lips parted in such -lines as no old master ever put upon angel -lips; his eyes, from being dim and hopeless<span class="pagenum" id="Page_204">204</span>, -grew warm and lustrous and melting. At -last he said:—</p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry, I'm <i>ever</i> so happy now. -An' can't Mike go around with me and the -goat, all the time you're away riding? An -bring us home some candy, an' marbles—oh, -yes—an' a new dog."</p> - -<p>Anxious as I was to hurry off to meet my -engagement, I was rather disgusted as I unseated -Budge and returned to my razor. So -long as he was lonesome and I was his only -hope, words couldn't express his devotion, -but the moment he had, through my efforts, -regained his spirits, his only use for me was -to ask further favors. Yet in trying the poor -boy, judicially, the evidence was more dangerous -to humanity in general than to Budge; -it threw a great deal of light upon my own -peculiar theological puzzles, and almost convinced -me that my duty was to preach a new -gospel.</p> - -<p>As I drove up to the steps of Mrs. Clarkson's -boarding-house, it seemed to me a -month had elapsed since last I was there, and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_205">205</span> -this apparent lapse of time was all that prevented -my ascribing to miraculous agencies -the wonderful and delightful change that -Alice's countenance had undergone in two -short days. Composure, quickness of perception, -the ability to guard one's self, are -indications of character which are particularly -in place in the countenance of a young -lady in society, but when, without losing -these, the face takes on the radiance born of -love and trust, the effect is indescribably -charming—especially to the eyes of the man -who causes the change. Longer, more out-of-the-way -roads between Hillcrest and the -Falls, I venture to say, were never known -than I drove over that afternoon, and my -happy companion, who in other days I had -imagined might one day, by her decision, -alertness and force exceed the exploits of -Lady Baker, or Miss Tinne, never once asked -if I was sure we were on the right road. Only -a single cloud came over her brow, and of -this I soon learned the cause.</p> - -<p>"Harry," said she, pressing closer to my<span class="pagenum" id="Page_206">206</span> -side, and taking an appealing tone, "do you -love me well enough to endure something -unpleasant for my sake?"</p> - -<p>My answer was not verbally expressed, but -its purport seemed to be understood and accepted, -for Alice continued:—</p> - -<p>"I wouldn't undo a bit of what's happened—I'm -the happiest, proudest woman in -the world. But we <i>have</i> been very hasty, for -people who have been mere acquaintances. -And mother is dreadfully opposed to such -affairs—she is of the old style, you know."</p> - -<p>"It was all my fault," said I. "I'll apologize -promptly and handsomely. The time -and agony which I didn't consume in laying -siege to your heart, I'll devote to the task of -gaining your mother's good graces."</p> - -<p>The look I received in reply to this remark -would have richly repaid me, had my task -been to conciliate as many mothers-in-law as -Brigham Young possesses. But her smile -faded as she said:—</p> - -<p>"You don't know what a task you have -before you. Mother has a very tender heart<span class="pagenum" id="Page_207">207</span>, -but it's thoroughly fenced in by proprieties. -In her day and set, courtship was a very slow, -stately affair, and mother believes it the -proper way now; so do I, but I admit possible -exceptions, and mother does not. I am -afraid she won't be patient if she knows the -whole truth, yet I can't bear to keep it from -her. I'm her only child, you know."</p> - -<p>"<i>Don't</i> keep it from her," said I, "unless -for some reason of your own. Let me tell the -whole story, take all the responsibility, and -accept the penalties, if there are any. Your -mother is right in principle, if there <i>is</i> a certain -delightful exception that we know of."</p> - -<p>"My only fear is for <i>you</i>," said my darling, -nestling closer to me. "She comes of a family -that can display most glorious indignation -when there's a good excuse for it, and I can't -bear to think of <i>you</i> being the cause of such -an outbreak."</p> - -<p>"I've faced the ugliest of guns in honor of -one form of love, little girl," I replied, "and -I could do even more for the sentiment for -which <i>you're</i> to blame. And for my own<span class="pagenum" id="Page_208">208</span> -sake, I'd rather endure anything than a sense -of having deceived any one, especially the -mother of such a daughter. Besides, you're -her dearest treasure, and she has a right to -know of even the least thing that in any way -concerns you."</p> - -<p>"And you're a noble fellow, and——" -Whatever other sentiment my companion -failed to put into words was impulsively and -eloquently communicated by her dear eyes.</p> - -<p>But oh, what a cowardly heart your dear -cheek rested upon an instant later, fair Alice! -Not for the first time in my life did I shrink -and tremble at the realization of what duty -imperatively required—not for the first time -did I go through a harder battle than was -ever fought with sword and cannon, and a -battle with greater possibilities of danger -than the field ever offered. I won it, as a -man <i>must</i> do in such fights, if he deserves to -live; but I could not help feeling considerably -sobered on our homeward drive.</p> - -<p>We neared the house, and I had an insane -fancy that instead of driving two horses I was<span class="pagenum" id="Page_209">209</span> -astride of one, with spurs at my heels and a -saber at my side.</p> - -<p>"Let me talk to her <i>now</i>, Alice, won't you? -Delays are only cowardly."</p> - -<p>A slight trembling at my side—an instant -of silence that seemed an hour, yet within -which I could count but six footfalls, and -Alice replied:—</p> - -<p>"Yes; if the parlor happens to be empty, -I'll ask her if she won't go in and see you a -moment." Then there came a look full of -tenderness, wonder, painful solicitude, and -then two dear eyes filled with tears.</p> - -<p>"We're nearly there, darling," said I, with -a reassuring embrace.</p> - -<p>"Yes, and you sha'n't be the only hero," -said she, straightening herself proudly, and -looking a fit model for a Zenobia.</p> - -<p>As we passed from behind a clump of evergreens -which hid the house from our view, I -involuntarily exclaimed, "Gracious!" Upon -the piazza stood Mrs. Mayton; at her side -stood my two nephews, as dirty in face, in -clothing, as I had ever seen them. I don't<span class="pagenum" id="Page_210">210</span> -know but that for a moment I freely forgave -them, for their presence might grant me the -respite which a sense of duty would not allow -me to take.</p> - -<p>"Wezhe comed up to wide home wif you," -exclaimed Toddie, as Mrs. Mayton greeted -me with an odd mixture of courtesy, curiosity -and humor. Alice led the way into the parlor, -whispered to her mother, and commenced -to make a rapid exit, when Mrs. Mayton -called her back, and motioned her to a chair. -Alice and I exchanged sidelong glances.</p> - -<p>"Alice says you wish to speak with me, -Mr. Burton," said she. "I wonder whether -the subject is one upon which I have this -afternoon received a minute verbal account -from the elder Master Lawrence."</p> - -<p>Alice looked blank;—I am sure that <i>I</i> did. -But safety could only lie in action, so I stammered -out:——</p> - -<p>"If you refer to an apparently unwarrantable -intrusion upon your family circle, -Mrs.——"</p> - -<p>"I do, sir," replied the old lady. "Be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_211">211</span>tween -the statements made by that child, and -the hitherto unaccountable change in my -daughter's looks during two or three days, I -think I have got at the truth of the matter. -If the offender was any one else, I should be -inclined to be severe; but we mothers of only -daughters are apt to have a pretty distinct -idea of the merits of young men, and——"</p> - -<p>The old lady dropped her head; I sprang -to my feet, seized her hand, and reverently -kissed it; then Mrs. Mayton, whose only son -had died fifteen years before, raised her head -and adopted me in the manner peculiar to -mothers, while Alice burst into tears, and -kissed us both.</p> - -<p>A few moments later, as three happy people -were occupying conventional attitudes, -and trying to compose faces which should -bear the inspection of whoever might happen -into the parlor, Mrs. Mayton observed:—</p> - -<p>"My children, between us this matter is -understood, but I must caution you against -acting in such a way as to make the engagement -public at once."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_212">212</span></p> - -<p>"Trust me for that," hastily exclaimed -Alice.</p> - -<p>"And me," said I.</p> - -<p>"I have no doubt of the intention and discretion -of either of you," resumed Mrs. Mayton, -"but you cannot possibly be too cautious." -Here a loud laugh from the shrubbery -under the windows drowned Mrs. Mayton's -voice for a moment, but she continued: -"Servants, children,"—here she smiled, and -I dropped my head—"persons you may -chance to meet——"</p> - -<p>Again the laugh broke forth under the -window.</p> - -<p>"What <i>can</i> those girls be laughing at?" -exclaimed Alice, moving toward the window, -followed by her mother and me.</p> - -<p>Seated in a semicircle on the grass were -most of the ladies boarding at Mrs. Clarkson's, -and in front of them stood Toddie, in -that high state of excitement to which sympathetic -applause always raises him.</p> - -<p>"Say it again," said one of the ladies.</p> - -<p>Toddie put on an expression of profound<span class="pagenum" id="Page_213">213</span> -wisdom, made violent gestures with both -hands, and repeated the following, with frequent -gesticulations:—</p> - -<div class="poetry-container"><div class="poetry"><div class="stanza"> -<div class="verse">"Azh wadiant azh ze matchless woze</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Zat poeck-artuss fanshy;</div> -<div class="verse">Azh fair azh whituss lily-blowzh;</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Azh moduss azh a panzhy;</div> -<div class="verse">Azh pure azh dew zat hides wiffin</div> -<div class="verse indent2">Awwahwah's sun-tissed tsallish;</div> -<div class="verse">Azh tender azh ze pwimwose tweet,</div> -<div class="verse indent2">All zish, an' moah, izh Alish."</div> -</div></div></div> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p213"></a> -<img src="images/p213.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"AZH WADIANT AZH ZE MATCHLESS WOZE"</div> -</div> - -<p>I gasped for breath.</p> - -<p>"Who taught you all that, Toddie?" asked -one of the ladies.</p> - -<p>"Nobody didn't taught me—I lyned<a name="FNanchor_9" id="FNanchor_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> it."</p> - -<div class="footnote"> - -<p><a name="Footnote_9" id="Footnote_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Learned.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_214">214</span></p></div> - -<p>"When did you learn it?"</p> - -<p>"Lyned it zish mornin'. Ocken Hawwy -said it over, an' over, an' over, djust yots of -timezh, out in ze garden."</p> - -<p>The ladies all exchanged glances—my lady -readers will understand just how, and I assure -gentlemen that I did not find their -glances at all hard to read. Alice looked at -me inquiringly, and she now tells me that I -blushed sheepishly and guiltily. Poor Mrs. -Mayton staggered to a chair, and exclaimed:</p> - -<p>"Too late! too late!"</p> - -<p>Considering their recent achievements, -Toddie and Budge were a very modest couple -as I drove them home that evening. Budge -even made some attempt at apologizing for -their appearance, saying that they couldn't -find Maggie, and <i>couldn't</i> wait any longer; -but I assured him that no apology was necessary. -I was in such excellent spirits that my -feeling became contagious; and we sang -songs, told stories, and played ridiculous -games most of the evening, paying but little -attention to the dinner that was set for us.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_215">215</span></p> - -<p>"Uncle Harry," said Budge, suddenly, "do -you know we haven't ever sung,—</p> - -<p> -'Drown old Pharaoh's Army, Hallelujah,'<br /> -</p> - -<p>since you've been here? Let's do it now."</p> - -<p>"All right, old fellow." I knew the song—such -as there was of it—and its chorus, as -<i>every</i> one does who ever heard the Jubilee -Singers render it; but I scarcely understood -the meaning of the preparations which Budge -made. He drew a large rocking-chair into -the middle of the room, and exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"There, Uncle Harry—you sit down. Come -along, Tod—you sit on that knee, and I'll sit -on this. Lift up both hands, Tod, like I do. -Now we're all ready, Uncle Harry."</p> - -<p>I sang the first line:—</p> - -<p> -"When Israel was in bondage, they cried unto the Lord,"<br /> -</p> - -<p>without any assistance, but the boys came in -powerfully on the refrain, beating time simultaneously -with their four fists upon my chest. -I cannot think it strange that I suddenly -ceased singing, but the boys viewed my action -from a different standpoint.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_216">216</span></p> - -<p>"What makes you stop, Uncle Harry?" -asked Budge.</p> - -<p>"Because you hurt me badly, my boy; you -mustn't do that again."</p> - -<p>"Why, I guess you ain't very strong: that's -the way we do to papa, an' it don't hurt -<i>him</i>."</p> - -<p>Poor Tom! No wonder he grows flat-chested.</p> - -<p>"Guesh you's a ky-baby," suggested Toddie.</p> - -<p>This imputation I bore with meekness, but -ventured to remark that it was bedtime. -After allowing a few moments for the usual -expressions of dissent, I staggered upstairs -with Toddie in my arms, and Budge on my -back, both boys roaring the refrain of the -negro hymn:—</p> - -<p> -"I'm a-rolling through an unfriendly World!"<br /> -</p> - -<p>The offer of a stick of candy to whichever boy -was first undressed, caused some lively disrobing, -after which each boy received the -prize. Budge bit a large piece, wedged it -between his cheek and his teeth, closed his<span class="pagenum" id="Page_217">217</span> -eyes, folded his hands on his breast, and -prayed:—</p> - -<p>"Dear Lord, bless papa an' mamma, an' -Toddie an' me, an' that turtle Uncle Harry -found; and bless that lovely lady Uncle -Harry goes ridin' with, an' make 'em take me -too, an' bless that nice old lady with white -hair, that cried, an' said I was a smart boy. -Amen."</p> - -<p>Toddie sighed as he drew his stick of candy -from his lips; then he shut his eyes and remarked:—"Dee -Lord, blesh Toddie, an' make -him good boy, an' blesh zem ladies zat told -me to say it aden"; the particular "it" referred -to being well understood by at least -three adults of my acquaintance.</p> - -<p>The course of Budge's interview with Mrs. -Mayton was afterward related by that lady, -as follows:—</p> - -<p>She was sitting in her own room (which -was on the parlor floor, and in the rear of the -house), and was leisurely reading "Fated to -be Free," when she accidentally dropped her -glasses. Stooping to pick them up, she be<span class="pagenum" id="Page_218">218</span>came -aware that she was not alone. A small, -very dirty, but good-featured boy stood -before her, his hands behind his back, and an -inquiring look in his eyes.</p> - -<p>"Run away, little boy," said she. "Don't -you know it isn't polite to enter rooms without -knocking?"</p> - -<p>"I'm lookin' for my uncle," said Budge, in -most melodious accents, "an' the other ladies -said you would know when he would come -back."</p> - -<p>"I'm afraid they were making fun of you—or -me," said the old lady, a little severely. -"I don't know anything about little boys' -uncles. Now, run away, and don't disturb -me any more."</p> - -<p>"Well," continued Budge, "they said your -little girl went with him, and you'd know -when <i>she</i> would come back."</p> - -<p>"I haven't any little girl," said the old -lady, her indignation at a supposed joke -threatening to overcome her dignity. "Now -go away."</p> - -<p>"She isn't a <i>very</i> little girl," said Budge,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_219">219</span> -honestly anxious to conciliate; "that is, -she's bigger'n <i>I</i> am, but they said you was -her mother, an' so she's your little girl, isn't -she? <i>I</i> think she's lovely, too."</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p219"></a> -<img src="images/p219.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">MRS. MAYTON STOOPED TO PICK UP HER GLASSES</div> -</div> - -<p>"Do you mean Miss Mayton?" asked the -lady, thinking she had a possible clue to the -cause of Budge's anxiety.</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes—that's her name—I couldn't<span class="pagenum" id="Page_220">220</span> -think of it," eagerly replied Budge. "An -ain't she <span class="smcap">AWFUL</span> nice—I <i>know</i> she is!"</p> - -<p>"Your judgment is quite correct, considering your age," said Mrs. -Mayton, exhibiting more interest in Budge than she had heretofore done. -"But what makes <i>you</i> think she is nice? You are rather younger than -her male admirers usually are."</p> - -<p>"Why, my Uncle Harry told me so," replied -Budge, "and <i>he</i> knows <i>everything</i>."</p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton grew vigilant at once, and -dropped her book.</p> - -<p>"Who <i>is</i> your Uncle Harry, little boy?"</p> - -<p>"He's Uncle Harry; don't you know him? -He can make nicer whistles than my papa -can. An' he found a turtle——"</p> - -<p>"Who is your papa?" interrupted the old -lady.</p> - -<p>"Why, he's papa—I thought everybody -knew who <i>he</i> was."</p> - -<p>"What is your name?" asked Mrs. Mayton.</p> - -<p>"John Burton Lawrence," promptly answered -Budge.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_221">221</span></p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton wrinkled her brows for a moment, -and finally asked:—</p> - -<p>"Is Mr. Burton the uncle you are looking -for?"</p> - -<p>"I don't know any Mr. Burton," said -Budge, a little dazed; "uncle is mamma's -brother, an' he's been livin' at our house ever -since mamma and papa went off visitin', an' -he goes ridin' in our carriage, an'——"</p> - -<p>"Humph!" remarked the old lady with so -much emphasis that Budge ceased talking. -A moment later she said:—</p> - -<p>"I didn't mean to interrupt you, little boy; -go on."</p> - -<p>"An' he rides with just the loveliest lady -that ever was. <i>He</i> thinks so, an' <i>I</i> <span class="smcap">KNOW</span> she -is. An' he 'spects her."</p> - -<p>"What?" exclaimed the old lady.</p> - -<p>"'Spects her, I say—that's what <i>he</i> says. -<i>I</i> say 'spect means just what I call <i>love</i>. -'Cos if it don't, what makes him give her hugs -an' kisses?"</p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton caught her breath—and did -not reply for a moment. At last she said:—</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_222">222</span></p> - -<p>"How do you know he—gives her hugs and -kisses?"</p> - -<p>"'Cos I saw him, the day Toddie hurt his -finger in the grass cutter. An' he was so -happy that he bought me a goat-carriage -next morning—I'll show it to you if you come -down to our stable, an' I'll show you the goat -too. An' he bought——"</p> - -<p>Just here Budge stopped, for Mrs. Mayton -put her handkerchief to her eyes. Two or -three moments later she felt a light touch on -her knee, and, wiping her eyes, saw Budge -looking sympathetically into her face.</p> - -<p>"I'm awful sorry you feel bad," said he. -"Are you 'fraid to have your little girl ridin' -so long?"</p> - -<p>"Yes!" exclaimed Mrs. Mayton, with -great decision.</p> - -<p>"Well, you needn't be," said Budge, "for -Uncle Harry's awful careful an' smart."</p> - -<p>"He ought to be ashamed of himself!" exclaimed -the lady.</p> - -<p>"I guess he is, then," said Budge, "'cos -he's ev'rything he ought to be. He's awful<span class="pagenum" id="Page_223">223</span> -careful. T'other day, when the goat ran -away, an' Toddie an' me got in the carriage -with them, he held on to her tight, so she -couldn't fall out."</p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton brought her foot down with a -violent stamp.</p> - -<p>"I know you'd 'spect <i>him</i>, if you knew how -nice he was," continued Budge. "He sings -awful funny songs, an' tells splendid stories."</p> - -<p>"Nonsense!" exclaimed the angry mother.</p> - -<p>"They ain't no nonsense at all," said -Budge. "I don't think it's nice for to say -that, when his stories are always about Joseph, -an' Abraham, an' Moses, an' when -Jesus was a little boy, an' the Hebrew children, -an' lots of people that the Lord loved. -An' he's awful 'fectionate, too."</p> - -<p>"Yes, I suppose so," said Mrs. Mayton.</p> - -<p>"When we says our prayers we prays for -the nice lady what he 'spects, an' he likes us -to do it," continued Budge.</p> - -<p>"How do you know?" demanded Mrs. -Mayton.</p> - -<p>"'Cos he always kisses us when we do it<span class="pagenum" id="Page_224">224</span> -an' that's what my papa does when he likes -what we pray."</p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton's mind became absorbed in -earnest thought, but Budge had not said all -that was in his heart.</p> - -<p>"An' when Toddie or me tumbles down an -hurts ourselves, 'tain't no matter what Uncle -Harry's doin', he runs right out an' picks us -up an' comforts us. He froed away a cigar -the other day, he was in such a hurry when -a wasp stung me, an' Toddie picked the -cigar up and ate it, an' it made him <i>awful</i> -sick."</p> - -<p>The last-named incident did not affect Mrs. -Mayton deeply, perhaps on the score of inapplicability -to the question before her. Budge -went on:—</p> - -<p>"An' wasn't he good to me to-day? Just -'cos I was forlorn, 'cos I hadn't nobody to -play with, an' wanted to die an' go to heaven, -he stopped shavin', so as to comfort me."</p> - -<p>Mrs. Mayton had been thinking rapidly -and seriously, and her heart had relented -somewhat toward the principal offender.</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_225">225</span></p> - -<p>"Suppose," she said, "that I don't let my -little girl go riding with him any more?"</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p225"></a> -<img src="images/p225.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">MADE HIM AWFUL SICK</div> -</div> - -<p>"Then," said -Budge, "I know -he'll be awful, -awful unhappy, -an' I'll be awful -sorry for him, -'cos nice folks -oughtn't to be -made unhappy."</p> - -<p>"Suppose, then, -that I <i>do</i> let her -go?" said Mrs. -Mayton.</p> - -<p>"Then I'll give -you a whole -stomachful of -kisses for being so good to my uncle," said -Budge. And assuming that the latter course -would be the one adopted by Mrs. Mayton, -Budge climbed into her lap and began at once -to make payment.</p> - -<p>"Bless your dear little heart! exclaimed<span class="pagenum" id="Page_226">226</span> -Mrs. Mayton; "you're of the same blood, and -it <i>is</i> good, if it <i>is</i> rather hasty."</p> - -<p>As I rose the next morning, I found a -letter under my door. Disappointed that it -was not addressed in Alice's writing, I was -nevertheless glad to get a word from my sister, -particularly as the letter ran as follows:—</p> - -<blockquote> -<p> -"July 1, 1875.<br /> -</p> - -<p>"<span class="smcap">Dear Old Brother</span>:—I've been recalling a fortnight's -experience <i>we</i> once had of courtship in a boarding-house, -and I've determined to cut short our visit -here, hurry home, and give you and Alice a chance or -two to see each other in parlors where there won't be -a likelihood of the dozen or two interruptions you -must suffer each evening now. Tom agrees with me, -like the obedient old darling that he is; so please have -the carriage at Hillcrest station for us at 11:40 -Friday morning. Invite Alice and her mother for me -to dine with us Sunday,—we'll bring them home from -church with us.</p> - -<p> -"Lovingly your sister,<br /> -"<span class="smcap">Helen</span>.<br /> -</p> - -<p>"P. S. Of course you'll have my darlings in the -carriage to receive me.</p> - -<p>"P. S. <i>Would</i> it annoy you to move into the best -guest-chamber? I can't bear to sleep where I can't -have <i>them</i> within reach."</p></blockquote> - -<p>Friday morning they intended to arrive,—blessings -on their thoughtful hearts!—and<span class="pagenum" id="Page_227">227</span> -<i>this</i> was Friday. I hurried into the boys' -room and shouted:—</p> - -<p>"Toddie! Budge! who do you think is -coming to see you this morning?"</p> - -<p>"Who?" asked Budge.</p> - -<p>"Organ-grinder?" queried Toddie.</p> - -<p>"No, your papa and mamma."</p> - -<p>Budge looked like an angel in an instant, -but Toddie's eyes twitched a little, and he -mournfully murmured:—</p> - -<p>"I fought it wash an organ-grinder."</p> - -<p>"O Uncle Harry!" said Budge, springing -out of bed in a perfect delirium of delight, -"I believe if my papa and mamma had stayed -away any longer, I believe I would <i>die</i>. I've -been <i>so</i> lonesome for 'em that I haven't -known what to do—I've cried whole pillowsful -about it, right here in the dark."</p> - -<p>"Why, my poor old fellow," said I, picking -him up and kissing him, "why didn't you -come up and tell Uncle Harry, and let him -try to comfort you?"</p> - -<p>"I <i>couldn't</i>," said Budge; "when I gets -lonesome, it feels as if my mouth was all<span class="pagenum" id="Page_228">228</span> -tied up, an' a great big stone was right in -here." And Budge put his hand on his -chest.</p> - -<p>"If a big 'tone wazh inshide of <i>me</i>," said -Toddie, "I'd take it out an' fro it at the -shickens."</p> - -<p>"Toddie," said I, "aren't you glad papa -and mamma are coming?"</p> - -<p>"Yesh," said Toddie, "I fink it'll be awfoo -nish. Mamma always bwings me candy fen -she goes away anyfere."</p> - -<p>"Toddie, you're a mercenary wretch."</p> - -<p>"<i>Ain't</i> a mernesary wetch; Izhe Toddie -Yawncie."</p> - -<p>Toddie made none the less haste in dressing -than his brother, however. Candy was to -him what some systems of theology are to -their adherents—not a very lofty motive of -action, but sweet, and something he could -fully understand; so the energy displayed in -getting himself tangled up in his clothes was -something wonderful.</p> - -<p>"Stop, boys," said I; "you must have on -clean clothes to-day. You don't want your<span class="pagenum" id="Page_229">229</span> -father and mother to see you all dirty, do -you?"</p> - -<p>"Of course not," said Budge.</p> - -<p>"Oh, izh I goin' to be djessed up all nicey?" -asked Toddie. "Goody! goody! goody!"</p> - -<p>I always thought my sister Helen had an -undue amount of vanity, and here it was reappearing -in the second generation.</p> - -<p>"An' I wantsh my shoes made all nigger," -said Toddie.</p> - -<p>"What?"</p> - -<p>"Wantsh my shoes made all nigger wif a -bottle-bwush, too," said Toddie.</p> - -<p>I looked appealingly at Budge, who answered:—</p> - -<p>"He means he wants his shoes blacked, -with the polish that's in the bottle, an' you -rub it on with a brush."</p> - -<p>"An' I wantsh a thath on," continued -Toddie.</p> - -<p>"Sash, he means," said Budge. "He's -awful proud."</p> - -<p>"An' Izhe doin' to wear my takker-hat," -said Toddie. "An' my wed djuvs."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_230">230</span></p> - -<p>"That's his tassel-hat an' his red gloves," -continued the interpreter.</p> - -<p>"Toddie, you can't wear gloves such hot -days as these," said I.</p> - -<p>A look of inquiry was speedily followed by -Toddie's own unmistakable preparations for -weeping; and as I did not want his eyes -dimmed when his mother looked into them I -hastily exclaimed:—</p> - -<p>"Put them on, then—put on the mantle of -rude Boreas if you choose; but don't go to -crying."</p> - -<p>"Don't want no mantle-o'wude-baw-yusses," -declared Toddie, following me phonetically, -"wantsh my own pitty cozhesh, an' -nobody eshesh."</p> - -<p>"O Uncle Harry," exclaimed Budge, "I -want to bring mamma home in my goat-carriage!"</p> - -<p>"The goat isn't strong enough, Budge, to -draw mamma and you."</p> - -<p>"Well, then, let me drive down to the -depot, just to <i>show</i> papa an' mamma I've -got a goat-carriage—I'm sure mamma would<span class="pagenum" id="Page_231">231</span> -be very unhappy when she found out I had -one, and she hadn't seen it first thing."</p> - -<p>"Well, I guess you may follow me down, -Budge; but you must drive very carefully."</p> - -<p>"Oh, yes—I wouldn't get us hurt when -mamma was coming -for <i>any</i>thing."</p> - -<div class="figright"><a name="p231"></a> -<img src="images/p231.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">"THE SUN'LL BE DISAPPOINTED IF IT DON'T HAVE US TO LOOK AT"</div> -</div> - -<p>"Now, boys," -said I, "I want -you to stay in the -house and play this -morning. If you -go out of doors -you'll get yourselves -dirty."</p> - -<p>"I guess the -sun'll be disappointed -if it -don't have us -to look at," -suggested -Budge.</p> - -<p>"Never mind," said I, "the sun's old -enough to have learned to be patient."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_232">232</span></p> - -<p>Breakfast over, the boys moved reluctantly -away to the play-room, while I inspected -the house and grounds pretty closely, -to see that everything should at least fail to -do my management discredit. A dollar -given to Mike and another to Maggie were of -material assistance in this work, so I felt free -to adorn the parlors and Helen's chamber -with flowers. As I went into the latter room -I heard some one at the wash-stand, which -was in an alcove and, on looking in, I saw -Toddie drinking the last of the contents of a -goblet which contained a dark-colored mixture.</p> - -<p>"Izhe tatin' black medshin," said Toddie; -"I likes black medshin awfoo muts."</p> - -<p>"What do you make it of?" I asked, with -some sympathy, and tracing parental influence -again. When Helen and I were children -we spent hours in soaking licorice in water -and administering it as medicine.</p> - -<p>"Makesh it out of shoda mitsture," said -Toddie.</p> - -<p>This was another medicine of our childhood<span class="pagenum" id="Page_233">233</span> -days, but one prepared according to physician's -prescription, and not beneficial when -taken <i>ad libitum</i>. As I took the vial—a two-ounce -one—I asked:—</p> - -<p>"How much did you take, Toddie?"</p> - -<p>"Took whole bottoo full—'twas nysh," -said he.</p> - -<p>Suddenly, the label caught my eye—it read -PAREGORIC. In a second I had snatched -a shawl, wrapped Toddie in it, tucked him -under my arm, and was on my way to the -barn. In a moment more I was on one of the -horses and galloping furiously to the village, -with Toddie under one arm, his yellow curls -streaming in the breeze. People came out -and stared as they did at John Gilpin, while -one old farmer whom I met turned his team -about, whipped up furiously, and followed -me, shouting, "Stop, thief!" I afterward -learned that he took me to be one of the abductors -of Charlie Ross, with the lost child -under my arm, and that visions of the $20,000 -reward floated before his eyes. In front of -an apothecary's I brought the horse suddenly<span class="pagenum" id="Page_234">234</span> -upon his haunches, and dashed in, exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"Give this child a strong emetic—quick! -He's swallowed poison!"</p> - -<p>The apothecary hurried to his prescription-desk, -while a motherly-looking Irish woman -upon whom he had been waiting, exclaimed, -"Holy Mither! I'll run an' fetch Father -O'Kelley," and hurried out. Meanwhile Toddie, -upon whom the medicine had not commenced -to take effect, had seized the apothecary's -cat by the tail, which operation -resulted in a considerable vocal protest from -that animal.</p> - -<p>The experiences of the next few moments -were more pronounced and revolutionary -than pleasing to relate in detail. It is sufficient -to say that Toddie's weight was materially -diminished, and that his complexion was -temporarily pallid. Father O'Kelley arrived -at a brisk run, and was honestly glad to find -that his services were not required, although -I assured him that if Catholic baptism and a -sprinkling of holy water would have im<span class="pagenum" id="Page_235">235</span>proved -Toddie's character, I thought there -was excuse for several applications. We -rode quietly back to the house, and while I -was asking Maggie to try and coax Toddie -into taking a nap, I heard the patient remark -to his brother:—</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p235"></a> -<img src="images/p235.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption">GALLOPING FURIOUSLY TO THE VILLAGE</div> -</div> - -<p>"Budgie, down to the village I was a -whay-al. I didn't froe up Djonah, but I -froed up a whole floor full of uvver fings."</p> - -<p><span class="pagenum" id="Page_236">236</span></p> - -<p>During the hour which passed before it was -time to start for the depot my sole attention -was devoted to keeping the children from -soiling their clothes; but my success was so -little, that I lost my temper entirely. First -they insisted upon playing on a part of the -lawn which the sun had not yet reached. -Then, while I had gone into the house for a -match to light my cigar, Toddie had gone -with his damp shoes into the middle of the -road, where the dust was ankle deep. Then -they got upon their hands and knees on the -piazza and played bear. Each one wanted -to pick a bouquet for his mother, and Toddie -took the precaution to smell every flower he -approached—an operation which caused him -to get his nose covered with lily-pollen, so -that he looked like a badly used prize-fighter. -In one of their spasms of inaction, Budge -asked:—</p> - -<p>"What makes some of the men in church -have no hair on the tops of their heads, Uncle -Harry?"</p> - -<p>"Because," said I, pausing long enough to<span class="pagenum" id="Page_237">237</span> -shake Toddie for trying to get my watch out -of my pocket, "because they have bad little -boys to bother them all the time, so their -hair drops out."</p> - -<p>"I dess <i>my</i> hairs is a-goin' to drop out -pitty soon, then," remarked Toddie, with an -injured air.</p> - -<div class="figcenter"><a name="p237"></a> -<img src="images/p237.jpg" alt="" /> -<div class="caption"> MIKE TELLING MAGGIE TO GET LUNCH</div> -</div> - -<p>"Harness the horses, Mike!" I shouted.</p> - -<p>"An' the goat, too," added Budge.</p> - -<p>Five minutes later I was seated in the carriage, -or rather in Tom's two-seated open -wagon. "Mike," I shouted, "I forgot to tell -Maggie to have some lunch ready for the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_238">238</span> -folks when they get here—run, tell her, quick, -won't you?"</p> - -<p>"Oye, oye, sur," said Mike, and off he -went.</p> - -<p>"Are you all ready, boys?" I asked.</p> - -<p>"In a minute," said Budge; "soon as I fix -this. Now," he continued, getting into his -seat, and taking the reins and whip, "go -ahead."</p> - -<p>"Wait a moment, Budge—put down that -whip, and don't touch the goat with it once -on the way. I'm going to drive very slowly—there's -plenty of time, and all you need to -do is to hold your reins."</p> - -<p>"All right," said Budge, "but I like to look -like mans when I drive."</p> - -<p>"You may do that when somebody can run -beside you. Now!"</p> - -<p>The horses started at a gentle trot, and the -goat followed very closely. When within a -minute of the depot, however, the train -swept in. I had intended to be on the platform -to meet Tom and Helen, but my watch -was evidently slow. I gave the horses the<span class="pagenum" id="Page_239">239</span> -whip, looked behind and saw the boys were -close upon me, and I was so near the platform -when I turned my head that nothing but the -sharpest of turns saved me from a severe -accident. The noble animals saw the danger -as quickly as I did, however, and turned in -marvelously small space; as they did so, I -heard two hard thumps upon the wooden -wall of the little depot, heard also two frightful -howls, saw both my nephews considerably -mixed up on the platform, while the driver -of the Bloom-Park stage growled in my -ear:—</p> - -<p>"What in thunder did you let 'em hitch -that goat to your axle-tree for?"</p> - -<p>I looked, and saw the man spoke with just -cause. How the goat's head and shoulders -had maintained their normal connection during -the last minute of my drive, I leave for -naturalists to explain. I had no time to -meditate on the matter just then, for the -train had stopped. Fortunately the children -had struck on their heads, and the Lawrence-Burton -skull is a marvel of solidity. I set<span class="pagenum" id="Page_240">240</span> -them upon their feet, brushed them off with -my hands, promised them all the candy they -could eat for a week, wiped their eyes, and -hurried them to the other side of the depot. -Budge rushed at Tom, exclaiming:—</p> - -<p>"See my goat, papa!"</p> - -<p>Helen opened her arms, and Toddie threw -himself into them, sobbing:—</p> - -<p>"Mam—<i>ma</i>! shing 'Toddie one-boy-day!'"</p> - -<p>How uncomfortable a man <i>can</i> feel in the -society of a dearly beloved sister and an incomparable -brother-in-law I never imagined -until that short drive. Helen was somewhat -concerned about the children, but she found -time to look at me with so much of sympathy, -humor, affection, and condescension that I -really felt relieved when we reached the -house. I hastily retired to my own room, -but before I had shut the door Helen was -with me, and her arms were about my neck; -before the dear old girl removed them we had -grown far nearer to each other than we had -ever been before.</p> - -<p>And how gloriously the rest of the day<span class="pagenum" id="Page_241">241</span> -passed off. We had a delightful little lunch, -and Tom brought up a bottle of Roederer, -and Helen didn't remonstrate when he insisted -on its being drank from her finest -glasses, and there were toasts drank to -"Her" and "Her Mother," and to the Benedict -that was to be. And then Helen proposed -"The makers of the match—Budge -and Toddie!" which was honored with bumpers. -The gentlemen toasted did not respond, -but they stared so curiously that I -sprang from my chair and kissed them -soundly, upon which Tom and Helen exchanged -significant glances.</p> - -<p>Then Helen walked down to Mrs. Clarkson's -boarding-house, all for the purpose of -showing a lady there, with a skirt to make -over, just how she had seen a similar garment -rearranged exquisitely. And Alice strolled -down to the gate with her to say good-by; -and they had so much to talk about that -Helen walked Alice nearly to our house, and -then insisted on her coming the rest of the -way, so she might be driven home. And<span class="pagenum" id="Page_242">242</span> -then Mike was sent back with a note to say to -Mrs. Mayton that her daughter had been prevailed -upon to stay to evening dinner, but -would be sent home under capable escort. -And after dinner was over and the children -put to bed, Tom groaned that he <i>must</i> attend -a road-board meeting, and Helen begged us -to excuse her just a minute while she ran in -to the doctor's to ask how poor Mrs. Brown -had been doing, and she consumed three -hours and twenty-five minutes in asking, -bless her sympathetic soul!</p> - -<p>The dreaded ending of my vacation did not -cause me as many pangs as I had expected. -Helen wanted to know one evening why if -her poor, dear Tom could go back and forth -to the city to business every day, her lazy big -brother couldn't go back and forth to Hillcrest -daily, if she were to want him as a -boarder for the remainder of the season. -Although I had for years inveighed against -the folly of cultivated people leaving the city -to find residences, Helen's argument was unanswerable -and I submitted. I did even<span class="pagenum" id="Page_243">243</span> -more; I purchased a lovely bit of ground -(though the deed stands in Tom's name for -the present), and Tom has brought up several -plans for cottage-houses, and every evening -they are spread on the dining-room table, and -there gather round them four people, among -whom are a white goods salesman and a -young lady with the brightest of eyes and -cheeks full of roses and lilies. This latter-named -personage has her own opinions of the -merits of all plans suggested, and insisted -that whatever plan <i>is</i> adopted <i>must</i> have a -lovely room to be set apart as the exclusive -property of Helen's boys. Young as these -gentlemen are, I find frequent occasions to be -frightfully jealous of them, but they are unmoved -by either my frowns or persuasions—artifice -alone is able to prevent their monopolizing -the time of an adorable being, of -whose society I cannot possibly have too -much. She insists that when the ceremony -takes place in December, they shall officiate -as groomsmen, and I have not the slightest -doubt that she will carry her point. In fact,<span class="pagenum" id="Page_244">244</span> -I confess to frequent affectionate advances -toward them myself, and when I retire without -first seeking their room and putting a -grateful kiss upon their unconscious lips, my -conscience upbraids me with base ingratitude. -To think I might yet be a hopeless -bachelor had it not been for them, is to overflow -with thankfulness to the giver of</p> - - - -<p class="center"><span class="smcap">Helen's Babies</span>.</p> - - -<div class="transnote"> - -<h3> Transcriber's Notes</h3> - -<p>Obvious typographical errors have been silently corrected. Other -variations in spelling, punctuation, hyphenation and accents remain -unchanged.</p> - -</div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Helen's Babies, by John Habberton - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HELEN'S BABIES *** - -***** This file should be named 51085-h.htm or 51085-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/5/1/0/8/51085/ - -Produced by David Edwards, Les Galloway and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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