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| author | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 06:24:59 -0800 |
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| committer | nfenwick <nfenwick@pglaf.org> | 2025-02-05 06:24:59 -0800 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d7b82bc --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,4 @@ +*.txt text eol=lf +*.htm text eol=lf +*.html text eol=lf +*.md text eol=lf diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..35f8c3f --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #50949 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/50949) diff --git a/old/50949-0.txt b/old/50949-0.txt deleted file mode 100644 index dda269e..0000000 --- a/old/50949-0.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,10036 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook, The English Rogue: Continued in the Life of -Meriton Latroon, and Other Extravagants, by Richard Head and Francis -Kirkman - - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most -other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of -the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you'll have -to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook. - - - - -Title: The English Rogue: Continued in the Life of Meriton Latroon, and Other Extravagants - The Second Part - - -Author: Richard Head and Francis Kirkman - - - -Release Date: January 17, 2016 [eBook #50949] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - - -***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ENGLISH ROGUE: CONTINUED IN -THE LIFE OF MERITON LATROON, AND OTHER EXTRAVAGANTS*** - - -E-text prepared by KD Weeks, Chris Curnow, and the Online Distributed -Proofreading Team (http://www.pgdp.net) from page images generously made -available by Internet Archive (https://archive.org) - - - -Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this - file which includes the original illustrations. - See 50949-h.htm or 50949-h.zip: - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/50949/50949-h/50949-h.htm) - or - (http://www.gutenberg.org/files/50949/50949-h.zip) - - - Images of the original pages are available through - Internet Archive. See - https://archive.org/details/englishroguedesc02headiala - - -Transcriber’s note: - - Text enclosed by underscores is in italics (_italics_). - - [oe] represents the oe-ligature. - - The text as printed employed the long ‘s’ (‘ſ’), which has - been rendered here as a modern ‘s’. - - Please see the transcriber’s note at the end of this text - for details regarding the handling of any textual issues - encountered during its preparation. - - - - - - THE - English Rogue: - CONTINUED - IN THE - _LIFE_ - OF - _MERITON LATROON_, - And other Extravagants. - - COMPREHENDING THE - - MOST EMINENT CHEATS - - OF - _Most Trades and Professions_. - - Read, _but do'nt_ Practice: _for the Author findes_, - _They which live Honest have most quiet mindes_. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - The Second Part. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - Licensed _Feb. 22. 1668_. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - _London_, Printed for _Francis Kirkman_, and are to be - sold at his Shop over against the Custome-House, - in _Thames-Street_, 1671. - - The Epistle - DEDICATORY - TO THE - BOOK-SELLERS - OF - LONDON. - -Gentlemen, - -_It hath been one of the greatest Errors in most Authors to think by -their high Dedications to advance their Books, when as on the contrary, -I have known some of the better sort of Books (though Dedicated to -Worshipful, Honorable, Illustrious, and Reverend Patrons; nay and -sometimes to Majesty it self) instead of being preferred in Book-sellers -shops (and according to their merit bound in Turky or Murrey Leather -gilt, and richly adorned) only to be found in loose sheets at Cooks and -Tobacco-shops, disposed under greasie Pies, to stop Mustard-pots, and to -wrap up Mundungoes Tobacco, or at best (after more cost than was -intended by the Author in damasking and figuring it) used in Truncks and -Hat-cases: and all this hath happened because there was not a fit choice -of a power full Book-seller, which out of profit and interest might -prefer and advance the same._ - -_Now that I might not run into the same Error, and have the like -misfortune, being very well acquainted how much prejudice or profit I -may receive in your stifling and slighting, or preferring and advancing -this Piece, and I (being desirous that it should sell, for to that end -in part was it written and Printed) therefore make choice of you for my -Patrons and Protectors._ - -_Gentlemen, I hope what hath been particularly written in this Book of -your Trade, will not be offensive to you in general, neither that any -particular Person will be offended, unless such as are guilty; and for -their sakes it was written, that they may see their vicious enormities, -and amend them._ - -_Though all these misdemeanors are charged upon the score of one man, as -being acted by one; yet i’le assure you I know not any one person guilty -of all, though it is possible that they are all true, or else our_ -Extravagant _(who recounts his story) gives misinformation: and I for my -own part have so much Charity to believe, that there are several of your -Trade honest-men, and not at all guilty of any thing here Charged on -our_ Extravagants _Master: To those I suppose, I rather do a kindness -than a prejudice in unfolding the Mysterious Knaveries of the Trade, and -in requital I hope they will be my Protectors, in preferring this Piece, -not only to their Customers in_ London, _but to their Chapmen in the -Countrey, and thereby save me the trouble of it: And as for those who -being conscious of their own guilt, are offended with what is here -written, and out of revenge will refuse to protect or sell this Piece, I -am well enough satisfied, and by their refusal or slighting, both I and -the Book-buyer shall by their anger conclude their guilt._ - -_And Gentlemen, it is very well known to you, that the first part of -this book hath (notwithstanding many oppositions) done its business, -being generally liked and approved of; and I am told (by the ingenious) -that this will not come short of the former in pleasure, and exceed it -in profit: and therefore I doubt not of the sale, and I hope it will be -so far from staining your Reputations, that on the contrary, you may -reap credit; besides, as you may gain credit, so you will have profit by -the sale, and that I know will be a very great inducement to you._ - -_For both which causes I hope you will not refuse me your assistance, -which I know may be powerful; and I shall for the future discourse your -civilities, and at present subscribe myself_ - - Your friend and Servant, - - _Fra. Kirkman_. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - _The Preface to the Reader._ - - _GENTLEMEN_, - -The First Part of this Book being so generally well received, I was -induced to procure it to be prosecuted in a second; and to that end I -often solicited the Author to proceed according to his promise; but he -was deterred for several reasons, the most prevalent whereof he told me -was this, That he had reaped a great deal of ignominy by writing of -that; for many people were so ignorant, as to believe that it was a true -and exact account of the Authors life; especially after they had upon -acquaintance or inquiry found that he was indeed guilty of some petty -waggeries which are therein recited; and therefore concluding him guilty -of the whole, lookt on him as a dangerous person, and shunned and -avoided his company, lest they should be damaged thereby, or at -leastwise scandalized; others gazing on him at a distance with the eyes -of wonder. - -Now let me tell you that though I was wholly a stranger to the Author, -when he writ that Book, yet I have been since so well acquainted with -him, that I can directly clear him from the guilt of most of those -enormities contained therein. For in the first place, it is sufficiently -known to me, and many persons more, that he was never upon the Padd: for -I am confident he was never guilty of so base a valour, as either to Rob -a house, or bid a man stand on the Road. Next as to the Cheats, -especially those in Gaming; though he professes so much knowledge -therein, in his Book; yet I am sure of this, (let him be never so well -acquainted in the Theory) that he is ignorant in the practical part -thereof, having been the cheated, not the Cheater, of a good round sum -of mony, which he lost at Dice in my presence, and to my prejudice; and -I believe, that although (what he did write in the first part of the -Book, _Chapter_ 25. about his loss at Dice;) that might be in jest, yet -now he might say in earnest. The Lines are these, - - _I thought my self secure, for I could top, - By which I've forc’d some Citt’s to leave their shop. - I palm’d, and put the change upon them too, - I only studied how I might undo. - But now I'm met with, 'tis but just I see, - That he which others cheats should cheated be._ - -He being clear of these two crimes, Thieving and Cheating (which are the -most Capital,) I know not why he should be avoided for any other, though -we suppose him guilty of many female frauds, his inclination leading him -to be a lover (though Mercurial and unconstant) of the Female sex; with -whom I suppose he may have acted some of the adventures by him recited, -and those passages, with what others he thought or heard of: and whereof -many persons in this our age are guilty, he having methodiz’d, is the -main part of his Book; and the intent of his writing, it was to shew the -deformity of vice, that every one might shun it. The two lines which he -placed on the Title page of many of his Books, sufficiently -demonstrating the Authors intent. The words are these, - - _Read, but don't practice: since the Author finds - They which live honest, have most quiet minds._ - -Thus, although the intent of his writing was good, and the effects -proved answerable in the sale of the Book, yet could I not procure him -to proceed, though I offered him my assistance, in acquainting him with -my experience; but all would not do: Wherefore I applyed my self to -another, a brother of the same trade; a professed Author, and one who -hath been happy enough in the sale of many of his writings; him I -courted into a complyance with my desire, and perswaded to begin to -write somewhat to the purpose; I proposing only to him to give an -account of the knavery of many trades and professions. I gave him my -best instructions, and laid my ground-work well enough, as I hoped to -have him proceed: But so soon as he knew my intention of making his -writing a part of (by joyning it to) _The Rogue_, with some anger he -left it, and refused to proceed. - -He having thus laid down the Cudgels, I then took them up my self, and -those loose scribled papers which I had written for his instruction to -proceed upon, I viewed over, and after some small correction they serve -for the greatest part of this Treatise. - -In what I have written; I begin first with my self (as we all ought to -do when we intend to amend,) and give an account of the greatest -_Knaveries_ which I know, or can at present call to mind, there are or -have been committed in two trades; the one a Scrivener, in which I was -bred, and the other a Book-seller, in which I have been now above twelve -years, on and off, a professed Practitioner. When I was a child I was -intended to be a _Church-man_ in profession, as well as name; but the -time proving unhappy, and no encouragement for that profession, and my -Father aiming at some imployment that might be profitable, and knowing -the trade of a Scrivener to be so, was for that cause enduced to place -me with a Master of that quality, (though my inclination led me rather -to the Book-selling Employ.) Being thus placed out, I not only -endeavoured to learn my calling; but also at all spare times plyed my -Book; and though I had a very great employment under my Master, yet I -made a shift not only to read much, and learn the _French_ and other -Languages, but to write somewhat for the Press. And now I am speaking of -my Master (in regard in part of this Book, I give an account of the -_Knaveries_ of the Scriveners trade) it will be convenient to say -somewhat to clear him from any guilt therein, or else it may be supposed -that I mean him: But they that think so are much mistaken, for he then -was, and still is a solid, honest, sober Citizen; and not in the least -as I know of, guilty of any misdemeanour in his practice: and it was my -folly, and not his fault to leave him: for after about five years -service with him, I went to another, and from thence forward it was that -I gained the first experience of the _Knavery_ of that profession; and -since then, not only by keeping company with some of them, but also by -my own experience and practice, (though not as the Cheater, but -_Cheated_,) I can truly write a _Probatum est_ to what I have written of -that Profession, and if occasion were, give a _Clavis_ or _Key_, to -discover most, if not all of those several pieces of _Knavery_ I have -here discoursed of: And thus much for the Scrivener. - -And as for the Book-sellers trade, my inclination leading me to it very -much, I did about twelve years ago publickly profess it, in keeping a -Shop, wherein I used as well the Bookselling, as the Scriveners quality; -but having knaves to deal with, of whom I bought some part of my ware, I -soon left off the Bookselling trade, only keeping to the other; in which -I sufficiently profited my self; And I defie all the world to charge me -with any _Knavery_ in the whole course of my practice; which during the -time of great buildings at the East part of _London_, (where I dwelt) I -gained much; but that ceasing, and the tide of employment ebbing at the -East part, I thought it would be convenient to remove West-ward, -especially, his Majesty being then happily and gloriously returned, and -fixed at that end of the Town. And therefore taking a house and shop, -that I might have two strings to my Bow, I again professed both Trades, -of a Scrivener and Bookseller. I now thought my self wise enough to deal -with the Booksellers; but I soon found my self deceived, to my cost, for -I was drawn in by some of that profession to be concern’d in printing of -Play-books; in which, I having skill, and much affection to the matter, -willingly engaged. I, for my part, only printed three, which were my own -proper Copies; and they, (though I dissuaded them there-from) made -choice of the best Playes then extant; though the Copies were other -mens, I thought this criminal, but they made a tush at it. - -The owner of the Copies hearing of this wrong done to them, gained a -Warrant to seize them: My Partners secured theirs, and one of them had -so much cunning _Knavery_ as to come to me, and sell me his share, and -within a day or two after delivery, directed the Officers (who had -warrant to seize) to my house, where they at once took from me 1400 -Play-books; the value whereof is easily computed to be considerable. - -This happening in time of much business (for my Mother was then lately -dead, and my Father dying) I could not look after the recovery of my -books, which I heard were divided, and I never to this day had -satisfaction of one or other. My Father soon after dying, and leaving me -a plentifull estate, I resolved to quit all Trading in general, retire -into the Country, and lead a Contemplative life; (for indeed I never had -a love for any Trade, hating the business in general, and only used them -for a livelyhood). I having thus given out, had several offers from -Book-sellers to buy my books (which were of a considerable value, being -valued at some hundreds of pounds;) He who had so lately Cheated me, did -amongst others desire to havè them, and did ingeniously confess the -trick he had lately put upon me: and this his ingenious confession he -made as an argument for me to trust him with the rest of my Books: -Though I should have made this use of his confession, not to deal with -him further, yet he promising all honesty for the future, I again agreed -to trust him with my whole Stock, and thereby did I agree to cheat my -self; for though it was his fault to cheat me the first time, yet now it -was only mine, to let him do it after so fair a knowledge as he did; for -though he lived some years after that, yet I could never get any -considerable returns for my Stock of Books, and he in the late great -Contagion dying, was considerably indebted to me, and I hoping to get -what he owed me, ventured to possess my self of his Estate, and pay -several Debts which he owed to others: but they proved so many, and his -Estate so small, that I was worse than I was before; and this gave me so -sensible a squeeze that I yet am sensible of. - -And this is the only occasion that hath again made me engage my self in -the Book-selling employment: which although I have now used above twelve -years, and in that time laid out several hundreds of pounds in Printing, -yet I was never engaged in printing any Book that was another mans -Propriety, except when I was drawn in by the three Booksellers, and as I -have already told you, and which was so much to my loss: And as for my -Trading in the Scriveners employment, where it is usual for most of that -Trade to keep the best bargains of Lands and Houses for themselves, and -put off the worst to their Customers, I have not done so, but it hath -been my unhappiness to have the worst bargains of houses of any, which I -still keep: and though they did cost me many hundreds of pounds, yet -they are rather a trouble, than any addition to the rest of my estate. -And if I was ever guilty of dealing hardly with, or griping any of my -Clients when I was a publick practitioner, (as I cannot remember any -such action,) I am sure I have been (since I left the publick Profession -of a Scrivener) worse served by some of that quality, with whom I have -had some particular dealing. - -I have given you this account of my transactions, to acquaint you how -_Roguishly_ I have been dealt with, and that I am (and must needs be, -out of all these experiences) able to give you a considerable account of -the greatest _Knaveries_ and _Cheats_ of these two Trades. And what hath -cost me so dear, I here (for publick good) present to you for a small -price; for I’le assure you, I have oftentimes had a Fee given me for my -Advice in one of these many Cases were opened by the Scrivener, and that -part of this Book (if well considered and understood) may and will be of -very great use and consequence to any person who hath any converse in -the world. Besides the _Knaveries_ and _Cheats_ of these two Trades, you -have those of several others, as a _Barber-chyrurgeon_, a _Tapster_, a -_Cook_, a _Lock-smith_, _Taylor_, _Baker_, _Plaisterer_, _Drugster_, and -many others; and in pourtraying of them I have not affected words but -matter, I have written as I would have spoken, and as much in little as -possibly I could. Here is that which (I hope) will please all humours, -both the frollick and the serious, nay some of the factious too will buy -this Part as well as the first; and to make that out, I’le tell you a -late, but true story. - -The Author of the first Part being with a Friend at an Ale-house, -drinking at a publick fire (there being also at the same time two -Crop-ear’d fellows) he accidentally was talking about the Book, and -relating to his Friend the trouble he under-went at the first publishing -thereof, by reason it was not then licensed. Yes, said his Friend, I -remember that some of the Clergy were very much offended, and you as -well as the Printers, were like to have suffered Imprisonment. Why, what -was the matter; said one of these fellows, what were the Bishops -troubled at it? Yes, said the Author, I was forced to absent my self for -some dayes, till the heat of the matter was over: having said thus, he -left the room at present, and the two men taking the opportunity of his -absence, enquired of his Friend what he was, and what was the reason of -the Bishops anger? To this his Friend replyed, that the Author was a -very honest man, (which they in their terms interpret _Fanatick_) and -that all the reason of the trouble was, because it was not Licensed. -Well, said one of them, can he help me to some of them? Yes, said his -Friend: and by this time the Author being returned, he was acquainted by -his Friend with the request of the two strangers, and they likewise -again desiring of it, he furnished them at present with a dozen, for -which he had a greater price than usual, and then they desired to have -more to give to their friends, thinking to have found some Fanatick -Doctrine: so eager are these sort of people to buy any thing that is -unlicensed, following the Proverb, _that stolen meat is sweetest_: But I -believe they were not very well pleased when they, or their Fanatick -brethren (to whom they presented them) had perused them: but it is -possible that (though they were mistaken in the main) yet they might be -well enough pleased in the private reading, and that as in a -Looking-glass they might see some of those crimes lively represented, -whereof they had been guilty. - -Thus I say this Book hath been bought up by all sorts of people, and I -my self at the first publishing the first Part, presented one of them to -an Acquaintance of mine, who (I believe) had been knavish enough, and a -Preacher of several perswasions, he read it over, and at my next sight -of him I asked him his opinion of it? Truly, said he, there are many -various Cheats and Rogueries, but if the Author had my experience and -practice, he might write a Book ten times bigger, and more full of brave -Cheats, and considerable Rogueries, things worth attempting, whereas -these are but foolish and idle, and for the most part unprofitable. I -who was partly acquainted with many passages of his life, knew he spake -true then, and have here in this second Part had a touch at him, but far -short of what I know of him, it not being convenient to tell truth at -all times. I have likewise met with several other adventurers and -transactions in the world, where I (through the frankness and easiness -of my nature) have still come off the abused party; part of which I have -here sprinkled up and down, and the rest I reserve till more time and -conveniency to publish among other things in a third Part. And this Book -though (by reason of the extraordinariness of some passages) it may seem -a Romance, yet I’le assure ye there is nothing but the truth, naked as -she ought to be, in plain colours; for like the first Draught of a -Painter, I have only laid on the dead colours without any flourishes, -varnishes, or adornments; and though that be the first, yet it is -commonly the greatest piece of Art, and seldom mended or altered, but -spoiled: and so in my writing of this, I have not varied in any thing -from my first thoughts, which have been swift and full of matter, and -therefore need not in so plain a case any embellishments, so that here -you shall hardly meet with a piece of Poetry, and that which is, is just -to the matter, not sorted or strained, but natural and free; neither -have I borrowed any Sentences out of any Authors, to embellish and add -lustre to my writing: what I have done, (and that is but little) I will -tell you of. - -And now I have told you in general what you are to expect, I will -likewise give you a short account of my particular method, and so -conclude. First, the Author of the first Part having left his _Rogue_ a -married man, and an Inhabitant in the _East-Indies_, I was obliged to -lay my Scene there, and go thither to find him, where I give an account -not only of his manner of living, and how he spent his time there, but -also of the Government, Manners, and Customs, both Ecclesiastical and -Civil of the Countrey; and I have spent one whole long Chapter in -acquainting you with their Religion, which though it may seem strange -and extravagant, yet it is no more than the truth, as I can prove from -good Authors from whence I had it. I likewise cause our _Rogue_ to sum -up his fore-passed life, with some small reflections, and I bring into -his company four male, and two female Companions, as good Boys and Girls -as ever twang’d. They coming from _England_ only on a Ramble, are -thought very fit Companions, and the lives of these travellers are -related to our _Rogue_ by one of the Company. This relation is full of -variety, and though long, yet (I hope) will not be thought tedious nor -improper: for the length I must crave pardon, for I could not well avoid -it, and I was forced (though improperly enough) to make breaks to divide -it into Chapters. - -I have not only taken pains in describing the Laws, Manners, and Customs -of the Natives with my Pen, but for your greater pleasure and -satisfaction, the Graver hath been at work to present you the Figure of -them, the most lively I could contrive in so narrow a compass. You have -likewise another Figure of all our Lads and Lasses together in one of -their Tavern Frolicks. - -I have had so much work to do in bringing these Companions to our -_Rogue_ in the _Indies_, and relating what they are (in which I have -spent much oyl and labour) that I cannot this bout, bring him over to -_England_ as is expected; but I’le allure you (if you accept this, as I -question not) that I shall hereafter attend him through other Countries, -and with a great Train of Attendants or Companions bring him again to -his native Countrey of _Ireland_, and so to _England_, where he and his -Company may do such acts as shall raise wonder in the Readers. But let -this suffice at present. - -And now I have almost done with the Preface, which though it be long, -yet I like it better to have it so, than to fill up a Sheet or two of -Paper with _Commendatory Verses_, which some Authors covet, and are very -proud of, and rather than go without, will write themselves: This I -could have done or procured, but esteeming all that can be written in -that nature to be nothing, unless the reader approves the Book, who is -now so wise as not to trust to another mans judgment, I therefore -declined that, and I hope when the Preface is read over, it will not be -thought wholly impertinent; for I have therein laid down some reasons -for this my manner of writing. But some ignorant Readers commonly skip -over the Preface, running greedily to the matter, and so they will use -me; and having read the Book will say, that I had better have spared my -self the trouble and cost, for here is nothing but what they already are -acquainted with. To you who are so knowing and well experienced, I -answer you with this Request, That you will do as much for publick good, -as I have intended by writing this (and I hope done) and in order -thereunto write and publish your Experiences, and I promise you I’le be -a Customer for one of them, and encourage others to be so; and though it -may not be so well as what I have written, (that is, so full of -profitable Experiences) yet it will be a hard case if there be not -somewhat worth the knowing: If my judgment tells me that it is better, -I’le acknowledge it, and I and the other Readers shall be the more -obliged to you for your pains; and I had rather gain experience and -knowledge thus by reading then dealing with some of you, and be -out-witted and snapt. Though it is true, that that wit is best that is -bought, yet I know a man may pay too dear for it, (as hitherto I have -done) and therefore, and to the end that other men may learn by my harms -(as the Latine Sentence is, _Felix quem faciunt aliena pericula cautum_, -He is happy that is warn’d by other mens harms) I have written this -which I am sure may be profitable, and I hope not in the least hurtful. -Wherefore Reader, I pray put on Charity for thy Spectacles, and read on. - - _Yours_, F. K. - -[Illustration] - - THE - ENGLISH ROGUE - - Continued in the Life of - _MERITON LATROON_, - - And other - EXTRAVAGANTS. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - Part II. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. I. - - -_He discourses of the manner of Government, of the Inhabitants of the_ - East-Indies; _a small Voyage by Sea, where he is in danger by a - Tempest, and a_ Malabar _Man of War, but escapes both; he makes some - rambles into the Country, and returning home has some reflections on - his fore passed life._ - - -I was now arrived at the Meridian of my age, and enjoyed such a plenty -of every thing, that I soon forgot the many miseries I had lately -suffered, since my banishment from _England_. I governed my Family with -a most absolute command, and received a willing obedience as well from -my Wife, as all our Servants, and during the stay of our _English_ -Ships, I gained very much by entertaining my Country-men with -necessaries. I kept so punctual a correspondence with the _Banian_ -Merchants, that I could command any thing; and by their means found the -way of Trading, by which I considerably enriched my self; so that at the -departure of the _English_ Fleet, I having cast up an account of my -Estate, found that I had gained above 2000 Rupees, (which being the -Country money, and worth about 2 _s._ a piece, amounted to 200 _l._) -also I had a good parcel of Diamonds, besides those I had cheated the -_Banian_ of at my first arrival; several other Commodities I had by me, -which (with my Houshold-stuff which was considerable) did in all amount -to a great value. The Fleet being departed, the chief of our Trading -ceased, and now it was vacation time, and I (hating idleness, and -somewhat weary of my Wives company) being desirous of Novelty, set out -to view the Country: to which end taking money with me, and all other -necessaries, I hired an _Indian_ Coach, which is a kind of a Chariot -with two wheels, and will hold about four persons; this Coach was drawn -with two Oxen, who will travel about thirty miles a day: my charge was -not much, for about eighteen-pence a day paid my Coach-man, and kept his -Cattel. Thus did I ramble about the Country, visiting other of my -acquaintance, where I had a full enjoyment of every thing the Country -afforded: for we had not only the Country drink called _Toddee_, which -is made of the juyce of several Trees, and _Punch_ which is made of -Rack-lime, or lime-water, Sugar, Spices, and sometimes the addition of -_Amber-greese_, but we likewise drank great quantities of _Persian_ -Wine, which is much like Claret, and brought from that Country in -Bottles. These were our drinks whereof we drank plentifully, and -oftentimes to excess; our meat was chiefly Rice, with Beans, and -Turkeys, Beef and Mutton, and sometimes Veal and Lamb; this was my -ordinary diet, but the _Banians_ eat no flesh, accounting it criminal, -it being contrary to their Religion to kill any thing; the chiefest -exercise we had was playing at Nine-pins, a game I was well acquainted -with in _England_, and therefore could well enough deal with the -Natives, though they were expert therein. Though I pleased my self in -these things, yet there was still wanting the only thing which had -alwayes made my life pleasant to me, and that was the company of Women, -for without their pleasing society in a full enjoyment I reckoned I had -nothing, and therefore upon every turn found them out; but I must now be -contented with the Natives, who although they are not so fair as the -women of our _European_ Countries, yet they may pass well enough, for -their complexions are commonly of a tawny hiew, but they are richly -adorned with Pearl and other Jewels; I speak of those who were -Mercenary. There is no Town but had two or three of these -_Brothel-houses_, which were allowed of; neither was it any disgrace to -be seen therein; the handsomest women are here: the Matron of the house -is furnished with several, who she purchases sometimes of their own -Parents, who sell them, not accounting it an injury to dispose them to -this purpose. These old Bawds are as cunning as those of our Country, -for they will sell a Maidenhead two or three times over, for which they -will sometimes have twenty or thirty Rupees, according to the goodness -of the Commodity, and good will of the purchaser, who shall enjoy his -bargain for two or three dayes or nights together, either at their -lodgings, or at home at their own houses; neither do their Wives dare to -contradict their Husbands therein, for they will oftentimes bring home -one of these Lasses, and lodge them in a Cot in the same room with their -Wives, and lye with them as often as they please, and when they have -done with them send them home again. - -I tryed several of these _Bona Roba’s_, who pleased me very well, for -what they wanted in beauty they supplyed in respect and willingness to -comply with and please me in all my desires; and though many times they -have the Pox, by reason of their heat and activity, yet they value it -not, for they are so well acquainted and furnished with remedies, that -they soon cure themselves, and the men who accompany them: my ramble -being finished, I returned home, and though my Wife knew I had been at -several of these _Brothels_, yet I was joyfully received and welcomed by -her. We keeping a publick house, had all sorts of guests, and now being -at leisure I discoursed with several of the _Brammanes_ who are their -Priests, who informed me not only of the Civil but Ecclesiastical -Government of the Nation: for though I supposed them Heathens, yet I -found that they followed a rule in their livings to which they strictly -tied themselves: They in general gave me this account, that they are -governed by a Kingly Monarch, who is called the _Great Mogul_, he is -absolute in his Dominions, and all his subjects are his slaves; all the -Land and Houses throughout his Dominions are his own, and the -Inhabitants or occupiers are only his Tenants, and pay a valuable rent -for what they enjoy, which is annually collected by Officers to that -purpose appointed, and paid into his Exchequer; this he bestows at his -own pleasure, or spends in making War with his Enemies, who are chiefly -the _Tartars_, and sometimes the _Persians_; they have frequently Civil -Wars amongst themselves upon the death of their Prince, if he leaves -more Sons than one behind him; for he who last ruled, and was Father of -this present _Mogul_, made his way to the Empire by the death of eleven -of his Brethren, he himself being the youngest when he dyed, which is -not long since; three of his sons survived him, who all immediately -raised great Armies either to gain the Empire, or lose their lives in -general. - -The two youngest having assembled all their well-willers and friends, -with considerable Armies approached one another, a River now only -parting them. - -The eldest of the two dispatched a Messenger to his Brother, to tell him -that he was very well satisfied in his taking Armes, and since he was in -such readiness, if he pleased he would joyn forces with him, and assault -their elder Brother, who being vanquisht they would divide the -Government. The youngest Brother willingly assenting to these -propositions, came over to him, but no sooner was he in his power, but -he caused both his eyes to be put out, (thereby disenabling him from the -Government) and soon gaining the Captains of his Brothers Army to his -party, he joyned Forces, and causing his blind Brother to be carried -with him, advanced to meet and oppose his elder Brother; in short time -they met, and fought each other with various success, but in fine he -conquered his Brother, and depriving him of life, as the other of sight, -he now remains sole Monarch of this large Empire. - -The old _Mogul_ died infinitely rich, for he left eight _Tancks_ of -coyned Money, each _Tanck_ esteemed to hold ten millions of Rupees; and -indeed it is no great marvel, for he hath some of his Subjects, -especially the _Banian_ Merchants, that are very rich, all whose -treasure he will command at his own will; there is one _Banian_ whose -name is _Vergore_, who was the chiefest Merchant of his Tribe, and hath -most of the Stocks of his fellows in his hand; to him the _Great Mogul_ -sent for money, to which message he sent this answer, That he would -presently furnish his Highness with a hundred Carts loaden with ready -money. The _Mogul_ hearing this, ordered him to keep it till he sent -again, or had further occasion. The _English_ have great priviledges, -for they pay less Duties and Customes than the Natives, for the _Banian_ -Merchants will sometimes hire an _English_ man to go to Sea with them in -their Juncks, which are great Barks, not to do any service in the -voyage, but only to own the Goods, that they may save several Taxes and -Duties that else must be paid, as Anchorage and Moorage. I one time was -asked by a _Banian_ of my acquaintance, whether I would go to Sea with -him, and he would give me a considerable recompence: he told me that I -should only wear my hat, eat my victuals, and when we came to our Port -own the Goods; being desirous of seeing fashions I consented, and our -Junck being loaden, we set sail and departed: but never was I -accompanied with such Sailers, for the Junck (which is much like a close -Lighter) was deeply loaded with Callicoes, it carried above 1000 Tun: -the wind being fair, all the tackling was nailed down and fastned, so -that when we had been four dayes at Sea, the wind contrary to custome -changed: but though it began to be tempestuous, yet all our men being -then at dinner, there was none would leave their eating to handle the -sails, or alter the tackling; dinner being ended, I perswaded them with -much adoe to go to work, but it was some hours ere they had loosned -their tackling, so as to lower their sails, and by that time we were -driven out of knowledge; the winds there are usually so constant, that -they never make provision to handle their sails, and alter them, but -commonly as they fix them at their setting out, so they continue till -they come to their Port, where instead of an Anchor they carry a very -great stone, fastned by an iron ring to their Cable, which they let down -while they stay, but take up when they go away; and then they alter -their sails, sitting them to the wind to bring them back; they continue -in that manner to the end of the Voyage. - -But now it falling out otherwise, great was their trouble, not knowing -how to behave themselves: and although there was forty men on board, and -they all well enough acquainted with Navigation in those parts, yet I -that was but of one years standing was their best instructor, or else we -had been lost and perished; most of our sails being now taken down, and -the wind ceasing, we by the next day came into our knowledge, but met -with another misfortune, which was like to prove worse than the former, -for we discovered a Junck, though nothing near so big as ours, yet -better man’d, and was indeed a _Malabar_ Man of War, and our professed -Enemy, who are used to infest those Seas with their Pyracies; our Seamen -being sensible of the desperateness of our condition, were greatly -dismayed, but I (who was formerly used to be dead-hearted enough) did -now become valorous, and encouraged them by words and actions, for -considering the badness of my own condition, being likely not only to -lose what Estate I had lately gathered, but at least wise my liberty, -and it may be my life, (for many of these _Malabars_ do kill and feed on -their Prisoners) these considerations I say possessed me with so much -courage, that I was resolved to try my utmost power to defend my self -from my Enemies; we were by chance accompanied by ten _Moors_ called -_Rashpoots_, who being alwayes brought up in Wars, never go unarmed; -these persons being more courageous than the rest, by my example, put -themselves into a posture of defence, and the other Seamen had Swords -and other weapons put into their hands, to keep the Enemy from boarding -us: we had eight great Guns in our Junck, which were carried more for -ornament than use, for they knew not how to discharge them against an -Enemy to advantage, (they being as well as their tackling and sails, -fixed to one place) only served to be shot off in triumph, and make a -noise, but would not be well levelled to carry a Bullet to do execution. -I seeing this inconvenience, took such order therein that the Guns were -placed so as to dammage our Enemy, who now approaching us, came close up -towards us, but he found a hotter entertainment than he expected, for we -killed several of his men with our first broad-side; the only weapons -our Enemies had were great stones, which they threw at us in abundance; -but we having again charged our great Guns, and all the small ones we -had aboard, gave them such a peal as was the funeral knel to many of -them; by this time they were discouraged, and our men seeing the good -success we had came all in sight and every one taking a great stone -which had been thrown to us by the Enemy, gave them such an onset with -the stones, as now made them think of giving over their enterprize, -which we compelled them to do, so soon as we had given them another -broad side, and once more discharged all our small guns: this gave them -so general a blow that they Vered about and left us to prosecute our -Voyage. Our Enemies being gone, I called all our men together to see -what damage we had sustained, and upon enquiry found that we had not -lost a man: but about half a dozen broken heads and faces was all the -harm we had received. - -I was generally applauded for my courage, and the chief owner of the -Goods not only rendred me infinite thanks, but promised me a great -reward, which was justly paid me at the end of our voyage: I told them -that I much wondred at the manner of our Enemies fight, but I received -this answer, that they seldome used any other weapons than stones, which -they carried in great plenty, trusting to them and their great numbers: -for the Bark that set upon us had above a hundred men in her, and would -have certainly taken us, had I not made so good a fight with our Guns, -which was a thing unusual for them to meet with, not suspecting that we -could make any use of them, otherwise then to shoot upright as was -usual, but they found the contrary to their cost: for I suppose we had -the good fortune to kill several of them, which so disheartned them, -that they left us as I told you; and thus we meeting with no more -obstruction, in two moneths time finished our voyage, and returned home, -where I received 500 Rupees as a recompence for my good service. - -I was joyfully received at home by my Wife, and acquired a very good -esteem of all by this my valourous exploit, and had many advantageous -offers to go again on the same account; but I valuing my pleasure more -than profit, which was hazardous, declined the propositions, and now -rested my self at home, only making some excursions to visit the best of -my friends, who failed not to welcome me, being the handsomest Women, to -whom I made my self welcome. Sometimes I travelled to the adjacent -Towns, where I visited the pleasant Gardens, and other times I went -further to the Cities, which being well built with Brick, had pleasant -Platforms or Turrets on the top; many of the Cities were walled, and -fortifyed with Castles for their defence: I seldome went without a -couple of attendants, which are called _Puisns_, who were my daily -servants; these were a sort of _Banians_ who served me for four -shillings a moneth a piece, and out of that found themselves diet, -unless they travelled far from home, and then I allowed each of them but -three half pence a piece _per_ day to buy them victuals and drink, which -was only _Cutkeree_ _Butter_, _Toddee_, with which they were very well -satisfied; neither indeed doth the _Consul_ give much more to his -Servitors, for his chief _Puisn_ hath but twelve shillings _per_ moneth, -and out of that he keeps a horse and a servant to attend him. They are -very diligent and faithful in what they are intrusted with, but so soon -as they perceive a New Moon, they tell their Master of it, that they may -pay them their wages. - -Having now satisfied my curiosity in these travels, and being returned -home, I began to consider with my self my fore-passed life: then it was -I did run over these several accidents that had formerly befallen me. - -As first, how I committed Rogueries when but a Boy, and ran away from my -Mother, (of whom I had never since so much as heard or enquired) I had -some reflections thereupon, and what my Mother might Judge was become of -me: Then did I call to mind the rogueries I committed, when among the -Gypsies and Beggars, and how with them I first tryed and tasted the -pleasure of a Female companion, from that my apprentiship, and the -several adventures I had, and the pleasant nights lodgings, I enjoyed -not only with the Maid, but the Mistress: how after the Maid, whom I had -gotten with Child, was delivered, I dispatcht her and child to -_Virginia_, and soon after by mine and my Mistresses extravagancies sent -my Master first to Prison, and so out of the world, my Mistress her self -not long surviving him: being then a freeman, I married, but was justly -enough fitted for my disloyalty by my wives incontinency, which with my -own prodigality soon consumed me, enforced me to leave _England_ for -_Ireland_, which being my first great remove, I seriously reflected on -not knowing where I should end my dayes, I being now far distant from -the place of my Nativity; but I bethinking my self that my only -livelyhood depended there in my viril strength, not that I was exposed -to carry burthens, or labour in the day time, but in the night, in -Venerial combats, where I received equal pleasure: and indeed I having -run through the whole course of my life, found, that by the favourable -and good opinion of women (which was not undeserved) I had not only -preserved my self, but many times raised my self a sufficient fortune: -as I had lately done by marrying with my _Moorish_ Wife, in which -present condition I concluded my self much better than when I was in -_Ireland_ tyed to my old woman, who only paid me and gave me money -according to the service I did her, and was then again old and peevish, -and above all things very jealous; whereas now I was my own pay-master, -and though my bed-fellow was not fair, yet she was young and pleasant, -and so far from jealousie, that she her self sometimes would procure me -a young girl, the fairest in the country to lye with me, and she also -lying by me, and taking much pleasure therein. - -Then did I proceed in the thoughts of my former life, and considered the -many dangers I underwent, all the time I followed my padding employment, -and though I then usually wore money enough in my Pocket, and sometimes -met with some female adventures, as the Farmers Daughter, the Poetick -Widdow, and my Female Robbers, and others in whose converse I took much -pleasure, yet I was in all these pleasures still accompanied with fear -of being snapt, as indeed I was at last and likely to be trus't up: but -that my penitence wrought so upon my friends as to procure my sentence -of death, to be altered into that of banishment: which had through many -miseries and cross adventures brought me hither, where I received the -full enjoyment of all things: this consideration took me up much time, -and possessed me with some virtuous thoughts, believing that I had not -been preserved and reserved from so many hazards but for some good end; -and now I had a fair opportunity of declining Vice, and living -vertuously, I not being likely to be exposed to any such Roguish shifts -or courses as formerly, these thoughts of virtue made way for those of -Religion, and now it was that I seriously considered of that Word in -general, and being (though little practised in) yet well enough -acquainted with the Christian Religion, I wondered at the absurdity of -the Religion of other Nations, especially of the Country wherein I now -lived; and having been curious in the enquiry of the grounds thereof, I -had received a good account, though little satisfaction; but since it is -a Novelty, and may well enough suit with the following discourse, which -will consist of several and variety of Knaveries and Cheatings, whereof -I suppose this of this Countries Religion may very well bear a part: I -shall give you a short account thereof in this following chapter. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. II. - -_The Original Religion and Worship of the_ Banians _and_ Persees, _with - all their Castes and Tribes._ - - -This large part of the World which is governed by the _Great Mogul_, is -inhabited by these three sort of People, _Banians_, _Moor-men_ or -_Rashpoots_, and _Persees_; the several Religions or Worships of the -first and last, _viz._ the _Banians_ and _Persees_, I shall here give -you an account of; but for the _Moors_ or _Rashpoots_, they have little -esteem for any Religion in particular, and being for the most part -Souldiers, are of the _Great Moguls_ Religion, which is partly -_Mahometan_, I shall therefore begin with the _Banians_, who believe in -one God, and that he created the World out of nothing, and that after -this manner; first he having the four Elements of Air, Earth, Fire, and -Water for a ground-work, by some great Cane or such like instrument, -blew upon the waters, which arose into a bubble of a round form like an -Egg, which spreading itself made the Firmament so clear and transparent, -which now compasseth the World about; after this there remaining true -liquid substance in the Earth, God made of both these together a thing -round like a Ball, which is called the lower World; the more solid part -became Earth, the liquid Sea, both which making one Globe, he by a great -noise or huming sound placed them in the midst of the Firmament, there -he created the Sun and Moon to distinguish times and seasons, and the -four Elements which were before mixed, were now separated and assigned -to their several places, and discharged their several offices; the Air -filled up the empty parts, the Fire nourished with heat, the Earth and -Sea brought forth their living creatures, and then was the World -created; and as it had its beginning from four Elements, so it was -measured by four points, _East_, _West_, _North_ and _South_, and was to -be continued for four Ages, to be peopled by four _Casts_ or sorts of -men, who were to be married by four sorts of women appointed for them. -The World being made, Man was likewise made out of the Earth, God -putting him into life, and he worshipping his Creator; Woman was -likewise made and given to him as a companion; the first mans name was -_Pourous_, and the womans name was _Parcoutee_, and they lived together -as man and wife, feeding on the fruits of the earth, not destroying any -living Creature. - -These two had four sons called _Brammon_, _Cuttery_, _Shuddery_, and -_Wyse_, who were of different and distinct nature from each other, for -_Brammon_ was of an earthly constitution, and therefore Melancholly; -_Cuttery_ fiery, and therefore Martial; _Shuddery_ flegmatick, and -therefore Peaceable; _Wyse_ airey, and therefore full of contrivances -and inventions. _Brammon_ being melancholly and ingenious, God gave him -knowledge, and appointed him to impart his Laws, and therefore gave him -a Book containing the form of Divine Worship and Religion; _Cuttery_ -being Martial, had power to govern Kingdoms, and therefore had a Sword -given him; _Shuddery_ being mild and conversable, it was thought fit -that he should be a Merchant and Traffick, and therefore had a pair of -Ballances and a bag of Weights hung at his girdle; and _Wyse_ being -airey, was appointed for a Mechanick or Handicrafts man, and therefore -had a bag of several sorts of tools. - -These were the first men, and these their qualities, (according to the -_Banian_ tradition) that peopled the Earth; _Pourous_ and _Parcoutee_ -had no daughters, because the sons should go elsewhere to find them -wives, which were made for them, and placed at the four winds; the four -sons being grown up to mans age, were commanded to travel; And, - -First, _Brammon_ with his Book in his hand took his journey towards the -rising of the Sun in the East; for the place where they were born, and -their Parents created, was in the Middle or Navel of the world, the Sun -at Noon-day casting no shadow. _Brammon_ taking his journey, as is said, -towards the East, arrived at a goodly Mountain, before which was a -Valley, through which there passed a Brook; in the descent of which -there appeared a Woman a drinking. This Woman was of black hair, yellow -Complexion, of an indifferent size, and a modest aspect, and indeed in -every thing made, as if made for her beholder; who being naked, and -seeing her to be so, was more bashful than the Woman, who first brake -silence, by questioning the cause of his coming thither. - -_Brammon_ hearing her spake, and that in his own Language, thus reply’d, -_That the great God, who made all things had sent him thither_: The -Woman seeing his Book, asked the use of it; whereupon he opening it, -shewed her the Contents thereof; and after some other discourse the -consented to be married to him, according to the form prescribed in that -book; which being done, they lay together, and had many children, who -peopled the East part of the world: this Womans name was _Savatree_. - -_Cuttery_ the 2d. Brother, was sent upon the same account to the West -part of the world, and taking his sword in his hand, he advanced on his -journey; but not meeting with any adventure or occasion to make use -thereof, he was much troubled; desiring above all things, that he might -meet with some people whereon he might exercise his courage: thus -impatiently did he proceed on his journey, till he arrived near a high -Mountain, where he might behold a Personage who was walking with a -Martial pace, and coming nearer, found to be a Woman armed with a weapon -call’d a Chuckery: They were no sooner met, but they encountred, and set -upon one another; but though he expected a sudden conquest, yet was he -deceived therein, for his adversary held him in play all that day, till -night parted them. The next day also they wholly spent in fight; he -gained no advantage over his female enemy, only at the cloze of the day, -he had the fortune to cut her weapon in two; but the night coming on, -she escaped from him, without any further damage. - -The next day she was provided with Bow and Arrows, and then had a great -advantage over him, because she could wound him at a distance, and he -could not hurt her without a close fight; he being sensible of this -odds, clozed with her, and by main strength threw her down, holding her -by the hair of the head; when having a perfect view of her beauties, -instead of an enemy, he became a lover of this beautiful object; and -that he might gain her affections, he threw by his weapons, and applyed -himself to her in fair speeches, to which she was attentive; and he at -length became so prevalent, that they at present plighted troths to one -another, and of enemies, not only at that instant became friends; but in -short time after, living together, and Nature dictating to them what -must be done for the procreation of their like, they tasted the fruit of -Loves garden, and had many children, who peopled the West part of the -World; this Womans name was _Toddicastree_. - -_Chuddery_ the 3d. Son, who was the Merchant-man, was sent to the North -with his ballance and weights, and he after much travel happened on a -place where he found Pearls, and a Rock or Mine of Diamonds; and -believing them (by reason of their great luster in the dark) of some -extraordinary value, took some of them with him, and special notice of -the place, that he might find it again; and so proceeding on his -journey, came to the place where was the Woman that was to be his Wife, -who was wandring by the side of a Wood; she, seeing him, became fearful; -but he coming to her, and giving her good words, won upon her to stay -and receive him into her company; and after an account of his journey, -which she concluded was purposely designed to her, because they -understood one anothers speech, he bestowed some of his Pearls and -Diamonds upon her; in time they proving the comforts of the conjoyned -state, had several children, who peopled the North part of the World, -and became Merchant-men: he afterwards travelling with them, shewed them -the rock of Diamonds; this Womans name was _Visagundah_. - -_Wyse_, the 4th. and youngest of the Brethren, went also to the South -parts of the World, and carried his tools with him, whereby he was able -to build a house, or perform any other piece of work needful for the use -of man; he was forced to pass over seven Seas, at each place making a -Vessel, and leaving it behind him: the last Sea was called -_Pashurbatee_, and brought him to a Land called _Derpe_, where he built -him a house to live in, which he did with much content, till the Woman -appointed for him came thither to behold the same: She was very amiable -and white, and her hair was powdred with _Saunders_ and other _Odours_: -She first spake to him, demanding _how he came thither_; He answered -her, _that the Almighty had sent him, and he had taken great pains by -coming over seven Seas to wait on her_: She was displeased with his -discourse and house, telling him _that she needed him not_; and -notwithstanding all his perswasions, left him: he afterwards met her -walking in the Woods; but could not prevail with her to continue with -him; but left him much troubled. After this, he being in a profound -melancholy, walking abroad, came to a parcel of trees, under which he -placed himself, and there prayed to his Creator, _that he might not lose -his labour, in coming so far to find a Woman that would not converse -with him_: To this prayer he had answer, _that his request should be -granted, on condition, that for the future he would erect Images, and -adore, and worship them under green trees_: To this he consented, and at -the next meeting he gained the good will of this Woman who was named -_Jejunnogundah_, so that she became his wife, by whom he had several -children that peopled the South. - -These Four Brethren being thus dispersed at the 4 several parts of the -earth, and having peopled the same, were all desirous of returning to -their own Country from whence they came, to see their Father and Mother, -and recount their several adventures to them, and to that end, leaving -their children behind, they and their wives travelled so long, till they -came to the place; where they were first joyfully received of their -Parents; and then of each other; there they likewise had several other -children, begetting several generations, that all the world might be -instructed in their several qualities, by _Brammon_ in matters of -Religion, by _Cuttery_ in Rule and Governments, by _Shuddery_ in -Traffick and Merchandize, and by _Wyse_ in matters of Handicrafts; of -which four Casts the world consisteth, every one of them living in his -several quality, keeping his tribe free from confusion or interfeering; -and thus the world was peopled: but in time, multitude begat difference, -and disorder, and mischief, and every person disagreed with the other, -every one producing new and various differences, as well in matters of -Religion and Worship, as in all other affairs, when the Almighty for the -wickedness of mankind sent a flood which came and destroyed all the -Creatures of the earth; and this according to the tradition of the -_Banians_, was the first Age of the world. - -This world of Creatures being destroyed, others were made in this -manner: The Almighty first made out of the earth these three Creatures, -_Breman_, _Vistney_ and _Ruddery_, and gave great power to them; to -_Breman_ he gave the power of making Creatures, because say the -_Banians_, as great persons do not their work but by Deputies, so -neither was it fit that God should be servile to his Creatures, but give -to them their being by his Instruments. To the second, which was -_Vistney_, he gave charge to preserve the Creatures: But to the third, -which was _Ruddery_, he gave power to destroy them, because he knew they -would be wicked, and deserve Judgments. _Breman_ was to be taken up to -Heaven in conclusion of the second age. _Vistney_ was to live as long -again as _Breman_, and _Ruddery_ was to continue three times as long, -and then he should destroy all the world, which should be the great day -of Judgement. - -_Breman_ according to the power given him, produced man and Woman out of -his own bowels, who being instructed by him gave worship to God, and -reverence to him: the man was by him named _Mamaw_, and the Woman -_Ceterrupa_; they were sent to the _East_, and there they had three sons -and three daughters, who were sent severally to the _West_, _North_ and -_South_, which were peopled by them: thus man being made by _Breman_, -_Vistney_ provided things necessary for them, and _Ruddery_ dispersed -afflictions, sicknesses and death, as men did deserve them. - -It was now necessary say the _Banians_, that the Law should be given, -according to which they should live; and therefore _Breman_ being called -up into a Mountain, the Almighty gave him out of a cloud a book, which -the _Banians_ call the _Shaster_, wherein was written their Lawes; this -book consisted of three Tracts. - -The first, whereof contained their Moral Law, and an Explication or -Appropriation of the precepts to every several Tribe and Cast. - -The second, was their Ceremonial Law. - -The third, distinguished them into Casts or Tribes, with peculiar -observations for each Cast and Tribe. - -The first Tract of the Moral Law contained eight commandements. - -1. That they should kill no living Creature, because like man it had a -soul. - -2. That they should make a Covenant with their five senses: the Eyes not -to see evil things, the Ears not to hear evil things, the Tongue not to -speak evil, the Pallat not to taste, as wine or flesh, the hands not to -touch any thing defiled. - -3. That they should duly observe the times of devotion in washing, -worship, _&c._ - -4. That they should not tell false tales to deceive. - -5. That they should be charitable to the poor. - -6. That they should not oppress their poor brethren. - -7. That they should celebrate certain Festivals, not pampering the body, -but fasting and watching, to be fitter for devotion. - -8. That they should not steal, though never so little. - -These eight are bestowed among the four Tribes or Casts, to each two -Commandements: to the _Brammanes_, which are the Priests, the first and -second, as being strictest in Religion. To _Shuddery_ they appropriate -the third and fourth, as most proper to them. To _Cuttery_ the fifth, -and sixth, and to _Wyse_, the seventh and eighth: they are all enjoyned -to keep all the Commandements, but more particularly those that are -appropriated to their several Casts. - -The second Tract of the Book delivered to _Breman_, comprized certain -ceremonial injunctions, which are these. - -First, washing their bodies in rivers, in memory of the deluge, in which -they use this ceremony: first, they besmear their bodies in the mud of -the River, as an emblem of mans filthyness; and then coming into the -water and turning their faces towards the Sun, the _Bramman_ prayes, -that as the body which is foul as the mud of the River which is cleansed -by water, so that his sin may be in like manner cleansed; and then the -party plunging himself three times in the River, and shaking in his hand -some grains of Rice as an offering on the water: he receiveth absolution -for his sins past, and is dismissed. - -2. The ceremony of anointing the fore head with red painting, as a -peculiar mark which they often renew. - -3. They are enjoyned to tender certain prayers and offerings under green -trees, the original of which custom they derive from _Wyse_, to whom -they say God appeared in a Vision under a tree; the tree particularly -appropriated for this worship, is called _Ficu Indica_, as, _vide_ Sr. -W. _Rawleigh_, for which tree they have a very great esteem. - -4. They are enjoyned prayers in their Temples, where they offer to -Images with ringing and loud tinckling of bells and such like -impertinent services. - -5. They are enjoyned Pilgrimage to rivers remote, as _Ganges_, where -they throw in, as offerings, Jewels and Treasure of great value. - -6. They use Invocation of Saints, and for all their affairs they have -several Saints they invoke for assistance. - -7. Their law binds them to give worship to God, upon sight of any of his -Creatures first seen after Sun rise, especially to the Sun and Moon, -which they call the two eyes of God, as also to some Beasts. - -8. In baptizing children, there is difference in the Casts, for the -_Brammanes_ are extraordinary: the rest of the children are only washt -in water, with a short prayer, that God would write good things in the -front of the child, all present saying _Amen_. They name the child, -putting a red oyntment on the midst of his forehead, and the ceremony is -done. But the children of the Cast of the _Brammanes_ are not only -washed with water, but anoynted with oyl with these words: _Oh Lord, we -present unto thee this child, born of a holy Tribe, anointed with oyl, -and cleansed with water_; unto which they add other ceremonies, then -they enquire the exact time of the childs birth, and calculate his -Nativity, which they keep by them and give them at the day of their -marriage. - -9. As for their marriages, their time is different from other Nations, -for they marry at 7 years of age, they are usually contracted by their -Parents; which being agreed on, they send presents, and use many -triumphant perambulations about the town for two dayes; and then at the -going down of the Sun they use this ceremony. A fire is made and -interposed between the young couple, to intimate the ardency of their -affections; then there is a silken string that encloses both their -bodies, to witness the insolveable bond of wedlock; after this bond, -there is a cloth interposed betwixt them, a custom taken from the -meeting of _Brammon_ and _Savatre_, who covered themselves till the -words of matrimony were uttered, so the _Brammanes_ pronouncing certain -words, enjoyning the man to provide for the Woman, and her to loyalty, -and pronouncing the blessing of a fruitful issue, the speech is -concluded; the cloth interposed is taken away; the bond which ingirted -them, unloosed; full freedom is given them to communicate with one -another; they give no dowry, only the Jewels worn on the Bridal day; -none come to the feast, but those of the same Tribe or Cast: no Woman is -admitted to second marriage, except the Tribe of _Wyse_, which are the -handicrafts; men in all Tribes may marry twice except the _Bramanes_, -every Tribe marries in their own Casts, and the Tribe of the _Wyse_ not -only marry in their own Tribe, but in their own trade: as a Barber or -Smiths son, must marry a Barber or Smiths daughter of the same Tribe. - -10. Which is the last, is the ceremony of their burials; when any is -sick to death, they enjoyn him to utter _Narrane_, which is one of the -names of God, importing mercy to sinners: they pour fair water into his -hand, praying to _Kistnetuppon_, the God of the water, to present him -pure to God; he being dead, his body is washed, and after buried in this -manner. They carry the body to a rivers side and being set down, the -_Brammane_ uttereth these words. _Oh earth! we commend unto thee this -our brother, whilst he lived thou hadst an interest in him, of the earth -he was made, by the blessing of the earth he was fed, and therefore now -he is dead, we surrender him to thee_: after this putting combustible -matter to the body, lighted by the help of sweet oyl, the _Brammane_ -saith, _Oh fire, whilst he lived thou hadst a claim in him, by whose -natural heat he subsisted, we return therefore his body to thee that -thou shouldst purge it_. Then the son of the deceased sets two pots, one -with water, and the other with milk on the ground; the pot with milk on -the top of the other, and with a stone breaks the pot with water, -whereby the water and milk are both spoiled; upon which account the son -thus moralizeth, That as the stone makes the vessels yield, so did -sickness ruin his Fathers body, which is then burnt to ashes, which are -thrown into the air, the _Brammane_ uttering these words, _Oh air, -whilst he lived by thee he breathed, and now having breathed his last, -we yield him to thee_. The ashes falling on the water, the _Brammane_ -saith, _Oh water, whilst he lived, thy moysture did sustain him, and now -his body is dispersed, take thy part in him_. This being done, the -_Brammane_ reads (to the Son or nearest of kin to the deceased) the Law -of mourners; _That for ten days he must eat no Beetle, nor oyl his head, -nor put on clean clothes; but once a month make a Feast, and visit the -River whose water drank up his Fathers ashes_. Besides this, there was a -Custom which is brought into a Law, for the Wives of the deceased to -accompany their Husbands in death, by burning themselves with his body; -and this is still used among persons of greatest worth, the Women -voluntarily exposing their bodies to the flames. And this is the sum of -the second Tract of the Book delivered to _Breman_. - -The third Tract consisteth of their being distinguished into Casts and -Tribes, with peculiar observations for each. The _Brammanes_ being -first, have their name either of _Brammon_, who was the first of that -Tribe; or else from _Breman_, who was the first of the second Age, to -whom the Law was delivered, of which there are two sorts, the common, -and the more special; the common _Brammane_ hath eighty two Casts or -Tribes; which are distinguished by the names of the places of their -first habitations. These discharge the Ministerial function, in praying -and reading their Law to the People, in which they use a kind of minical -fantastical gesture, and a singing tone. They are first received into -that Order at seven years of age, using the ceremony of washing and -shaving their heads, only leaving one lock; they are bound to a -Pythagorean silence, and prohibited haulking, spitting, or coughing, -wearing about their loyns a girdle of an Antilop’s skin, and another -thong of the same about their neck, descending under the left arm: At -fourteen years of age they are admitted to be _Brammanes_, exchanging -those leather thongs for four sealing threads that come over the right -shoulder, and under the right arm, which they sleep withal, in honour of -God and the three persons; they are enjoyned to keep all things in the -_Brammanes_ Law. - -The more special sort of _Brammanes_ are of the Cast of the _Shudderys_ -or _Merchant-man_, who for devotion take this condition; He wears a -wollen garment of white, reaching down to the middle of the thigh, the -rest is naked: his head is alwayes uncovered; they do not shave, but -pluck off all the hair from their heads and beards, leaving only one -lock. - -There are several Casts of these, that live more strictly than the rest; -for these never Marry, are very moderate in their Diet, and drink -nothing but water boyled, that so the vapour, which they suppose to be -life, may go out; they sweep away and disperse their dung, lest it -should generate worms that may have life, and be destroyed, they keep an -Hospital of lame and maimed flying fowl, which they redeem with a price; -they have all things common, but place no faith in outward washings, but -rather imbrace a careless and sordid nastiness. - -The second Tribe or Cast was _Cutteryes_, who had their name from -_Cuttery_, the second son of _Ponrous_, who having Dominion and Rule -committed to him; therefore all Souldiers and Kings are said to be of -his Tribe. - -That particular of _Bremans_ Book that concerned this Cast, contained -certain precepts of Government and Policy, which being of common import, -I chose to omit, and shall only tell you, that in their flourishing -estate they were the ancient Kings of _India_, especially of that part -that is called _Guzzarat_, and were called by the name of _Racabs_, -which signifies a King; they are said to have thirty six Tribes, and -none were admitted to rule or govern but out of these Tribes. But in -time these _Racabs_ were most of them put from the Government, and -destroyed by the _Mahometans_, who oppressed them; some of them still -remain, and are called _Rashpootes_, which I have before named; some are -as yet unconquered, and sometimes fight with and against the great -_Mogul_. - -The third Son of _Ponrous_ being called _Shuddery_, and Merchandizing -being appointed him, all Merchants therefore are comprized under this -Name. The particular of _Bremans_ Book that concerned this Cast, was a -Seminary of Religious advertizement, enjoyning them to truth in their -words and dealings. These are they that are most properly called -_Banians_, which name signifies a _harmless People_, that will not -endure to see a fly, or worm, or any living thing to be injured, and -being themselves strucken, bear it patiently without resistance; they -are equal in number of their Casts to the _Brammanes_, and being like to -them, do more strictly follow their injunctions. Their form and contract -in buying and selling is something notable; for the Broaker that beateth -the price with him that selleth, looseth his _Pamerin_ that his folded -about his wast, and spreading it upon his knee, with hands folded -underneath, by their fingers ends the price of pounds, shillings or -pence, is fixed, as the Chapman is intended to give: The seller in like -manner intimateth how much he purposeth to have; which silent -composition their Law enjoyneth. - -Lastly, as the Son of _Ponrous_ was called _Wyse_, and was Master of -Merchants or Handicrafts, so all Handicrafts are of that Tribe. The -directions that were in _Breman’s_ Book for these, were touching their -behaviours in their Callings: The name _Wyse_ signifies one that one is -_servile_ or _instrumentary_; these People are now commonly called -_Gentiles_, which are of two sorts; first, the purer _Gentile_, such as -diet themselves as the _Banians_, not eating flesh, fish or wine; and -the impure eat of all sorts, and are commonly Husbandmen, and usually -called _Coulees_. Those of the purer sort have thirty six Casts, -according to the number of the Trades practised among them; in which, -they make as few instruments serve for the effecting of divers works, as -may be; and whatever they do, is contrary to the Christian form of -working, for the most part. This is the substance of the the third Tract -of the Book delivered to _Breman_, concerning the manner of the four -Tribes. - -This Book was by _Breman_ communicated to the _Brammanes_ to be -published to the People, who did give absolute obedience to these -injunctions; but in time, fraud, violence and all manner of wickedness -being committed, God grew angry, and acquainted _Breman_ that he would -destroy the world: who acquainted the People herewith, but to little -purpose, for soon after they fell to their wickedness, and God took -_Breman_ up into his bosome who had interceeded for man-kind; then also -_Vistney_ (whose nature and Office it was to preserve the People) did -interceed, but God would not be pacifyed, but gave charge to _Ruddery_ -(whose Office it was to destroy) to cause the bowels of the earth to -send out a wind to sweep the Nations as the dust from the face of the -earth: this command was accordingly executed, and all people were -destroyed saving a few that God permitted _Vistney_ to cover with the -skirts of his preservation, reserved to propagate mankind in the third -age, and so this Age concluded. - -The wickedness and ill government of the Kings and Rulers, being the -chief cause of destroying the last age: therefore all those of -_Cutteries_ Tribe were all destroyed. Now because it was necessary that -there should be some of that Cast as well as others, wherefore God -raised that Tribe again out of the Cast of the _Bramanes_: the name of -him who renewed and raised this Tribe was called _Ram_, who was a good -King and lived piously; but his successors did not so, but committed so -much wickedness that God again destroyed the world, by the opening of -the earth, which swallowed up all mankind, but a few of the four Tribes -who were left to new-people the world again, and this was the conclusion -of the third Age. - -At the beginning of the fourth Age, there was one _Kistney_, a famous -Ruler, and pious King, who wonderfully promoted Religion. _Vistney_ was -now taken up into Heaven, there being no further need of his -preservation; for when this Age is concluded, there shall be a full end -of all things. The _Brammanes_ suppose this Age shall be longer then any -of the rest, in the end whereof _Ruddery_ shall be taken up into Heaven: -these four ages they call by these four names, _Curtain_, _Duauper_, -_Tetrajoo_ and _Kotee_; they hold the manner of these last judgements -shall be by fire, when all shall be destroyed; and so the four Ages of -the world shall be destroyed by the four Elements. And then shall -_Ruddery_ carry up the souls of all people to Heaven with him, to rest -in Gods bosome, but the bodyes shall all perish: so that they believe -not the resurrection; for they say Heaven being a place that is pure, -they hold it cannot be capable of such gross substances. - -This is the sum of the _Banians_ Religion, wherein you find much of -fancy and conceit as to make it be so antient, and the number four to be -used so often, as you have heard the meaning of the three creatures, I -suppose alludes to the Trinity; but instead of a confirmation and proof -of a Trinity, they would make a Quaternity thereof, in the name; I -suppose, they (as well as other Nations who differ from us in Religion) -had read over our Bible, and supposing that but fictions, were resolved -to make a Law of their own, to be somewhat like that of ours; which how -they have done you have already heard: I shall now likewise give you a -brief account of the Religion used by the _Persees_, and so put an end -to this Chapter. - -These _Persees_ are a People descended from the antient _Persians_, who -lived in much splendor, but warrs coming among them, they were -dissipated, and the _Mahometans_ who invaded them, compelled several to -leave their antient Religion for that of the _Mahometan_: which they -refusing, exposed themselves to a voluntary banishment, and therefore -carried what of their substance they could with them: they sought for a -new place of habitation, and at length found it in this Country, where -they now inhabit, being admitted to use their own Religion, but yielding -themselves in subjection to the government of the Nation, and paying -homage and tribute, their Religion being different from the rest of the -Inhabitants, I shall thus describe to you. - -They affirm that before any thing was, there was a God, who made the -Heavens, and the Earth, and all things therein conteined: at six times -or labours, and between each labour, he rested five dayes, first, He -made the Heavens with their Orbs, adorned with great lights and lesser, -as the Sun, Moon and Stars; also the Angels whom he placed in their -several orders, according to their dignities, which place he ordained to -be for the habitations of such as should live holy in this life; and -this being done, he rested five dayes. Then he made Hell in the lower -parts of the world, from which he banished all light and comfort, -wherein were several Mansions that exceeded each other in dolour, -proportioned for the degrees of Offenders; about which time _Lucifer_ -the chief of Angels, with other of his Order, conspiring against God, to -gain the Soveraignty and command over all; God threw him first from the -Orb of his happiness, together with his confederates and accomplices, -damn’d him to Hell, the place that was made for offenders, and turn’d -them from their glorious shapes, into shapes black, ugly and deformed, -till the end of the world, when all offenders shall receive punishment; -this was the second labour. After this God created the earth and waters, -making this world like a ball, in that admirable manner that now it is; -this was the third labour. The fourth, was to make the Trees and Herbs; -the fifth, was to make Beasts, Fowls and Fishes; and the sixth and last, -Man and Woman, whose names were _Adamah_ and _Evah_, and by these the -world was propagated in this manner; _God_ as they affirm, _did cause_ -Evah _to bring forth two twins every day for a thousand years together, -and none dyed_. Lucifer _being malicious, and endeavouring to do -mischief God set certain Supervisors over his creatures_: Hamull _had -charge of the Heavens_, Acob _of the Angels_, Foder _of the Sun, Moon, -and Stars_, Soreh _of the Earth_, Josah _of the Waters_, Sumbolah _of -the Beasts of the Field_, Daloo _of the Fish of the Sea_, Rocan _of the -Tree_, Cooz, _of Man and Woman_, _and_ Settan _and_ Asud _were Guardians -of_ Lucifer _and other evil spirits, who for all that did some mischief, -the sins of men occasioned the destruction of world by a flood which -spared only a few to repeople the earth, which was done accordingly_; -and this is their opinion of the Creation and first Age. As to their -Religion, it was given them by a Law-giver, whose name was _Zertoost_, -whose birth was strange, and breeding and visions miraculous; the names -of his Father and Mother were _Espintaman_ and _Dodoo_, he was born in -_China_, and great fame going of him when young, the King of that -Country endeavoured his destruction, but could not bring it to pass, for -those who were sent to destroy him, had their sinews shrunk; he being -twelve or thirteen years of age, was taken with a great sickness, the -King hearing thereof, sent Physicians to destroy him; but _Zertoost_ -sensible of their practise, refused their Physick, and fled with his -Father and Mother into _Persia_; in his way meeting with Rivers, he -congeal’d them them to ice, and so went over: he arrived at _Persia_ in -the time of the Raign of _Gustasph_; it was in that Country that at his -request to God, he being purified, was carried up into heaven, where he -heard the Almighty speaking, as in flames of fire, who revealed to him -the works of the Creation, and what was to come, and gave him Laws for -the better government and establishment of Religion: _Zertoost_ desired -to live alwayes, that he might instruct the world in Religion; but God -answered, _That if he should live never so long, yet_ Lucifer _would do -more harm then he should do good: but if he desired to live so long as -the world endured he might_. God also presented to _Zertoost_ the seven -ages or times of the _Persian_ Monarchy; the first was the Golden Age, -the days of _Guiomaras_, second, the Silver, the dayes of _Fraydhun_: -third, the Brazen, the dayes of _Kaykodoy_, the fourth, the Tin, the -dayes of _Lorasph_; fifth, Leaden, the dayes of _Bahaman_, sixth, the -Steel, the dayes of _Darab Segner;_ the seventh, the Iron Age, in the -Raign of _Yesdegerd_: He finding by this that the times would be worse -and worse, desired to live no longer than till he had discharged his -Message, and then that he might be translated to the same place of -glory; so he was reduced to his proper sense, and remained in heaven -many dayes; and then having received the Book of the Law, and the -heavenly fire, he was conveyed by an Angel to earth again. But the Angel -had no sooner left him, but _Lucifer_ met him; but notwithstanding his -perswasions, he went on in his designs of revealing the Law, which he -did first to his Father and Mother, and by their means it came to the -ears of _Gustasph_, then King of _Persia_, who sending for him, he told -the King every circumstance, so that the King began to incline to his -religion, often sending for and conversing with him. The Churchmen of -that time endeavoured to put infamy upon _Zertoost_, by perswading the -King that he was an Impostor and of unclean living, for that he had the -bones of humane bodies under his bed, the King hearing this sent to -search, and found it so to be, for these Church-men had caused them to -be conveyed thither; wherefore _Zertoost_, by order of the King, was put -in prison: but there happened an occasion, that he was not only soon -released, but also brought into the Kings favour; for the King having a -Horse, that he prized, that fell sick, and no person able to cure him, -_Zertoost_ undertook the cure, and performed it; and working some other -miracles, was now of good credit, and esteemed as a man come from God; -so that now his Book gained an esteem, and the King himself told him, -That _if he would grant him four demands_, _he would believe his_ _Law, -and be a Professor thereof_. The demands were these; First, _That he -might ascend to Heaven, and descend when he list_. Secondly, _That he -might know what God would do at present, and in time to come_. Thirdly, -_That he might never dye_. Fourthly, _That no instrument whatsoever -might have power to wound or hurt him_. _Zertoost_ did consent that all -this might be done, but not by one person; and therefore to the first, -_Gustasph_ had power to ascend to, and descend from Heaven, granted to -him. The second, which was to know what would fall out, present and -hereafter, was granted to the Kings Church-man. The third, which was to -live for ever, was granted to _Gustasph’s_ eldest Son, named -_Dischiton_, who yet lives as they say, at a place in _Persia_, called -_Demawando Lohoo_, in a high Mountain, with a guard of thirty men; to -which place all living creatures are forbidden to approach, lest they -should live for ever, as they do who abide there. The last, which was -never to be wounded with instrument or weapon, was granted to the -youngest Son of _Gustasph_, called _Esplandiar_. So _Gustasph_, and the -other three mentioned, proving the power of these several gifts, all -determined to live according to the precepts in _Zertoost_ Book, he -unfolding the contents thereof, which were these: This Book contained -three several Tracts, the first whereof was of Judicial Astrology; the -second was of Physick; the third, was called _Zertoost_, and this was of -matters of Religion: And these three Tracts were delivered to the -_Magi’s_, _Physicians_ and _Church-men_, called _Darooes_; these Tracts -were devided into Chapters, seven were in the _Wisemen_ or _Jesopps_ -Book, seven in the _Physicians_, and seven in the _Darooes_ Book; the -two first is unlawful or unnecessary, I shall omit it, and proceed to -the third. The Dicision of men being Laity and Clergy; and those of the -Clergy being ordinary or extraordinary, _It pleased God,_ say the -_Persees, to divide and apportion his Law among these men_. First, -therefore, to the _Lay-man_ God gave five Commandments: - -1. To have shame over them, as a remedy against sin, for that will keep -them from oppressing his inferiours, from stealing, from being drunk, -and from bearing false witness. - -2. To have fear alwayes present, that they might not commit sin. - -3. When they go about any thing, to think whether it be good or bad, so -to do it or let it alone. - -4. That the sight of God’s creatures, in the morning put them in mind to -give God thanks for them. - -5. That when they pray by day, they turn their faces towards the Sun; -and by night towards the Moon. - -These are the precepts enjoyned the Lay-men, those of the common -Church-man follow, who are bound to keep, not only these appropriated to -him, but the preceding precepts. - -1. To pray after the manner is described in _Zundavestaw_, for God is -best pleased with that form. - -2. To keep his eyes from coveting any thing that is anothers. - -3. To have a great care to speak the truth alwayes, because _Lucifer_ is -the Father of falshood. - -4. To meddle with no bodies business but his own, and not meddle with -the things of the world; for the Lay-man shall provide all things -needful for him. - -5. To learn the _Zundavestaw_ by heart, that he may teach the Lay-man. - -6. To keep himself pure as from dead carcases, or unclean meats, lest he -be defiled. - -7. To forgive all injuries, in imitation of God, who daily forgives us. - -8. To teach the common people to pray, to pray with them for any good: -and when they come to the place of worship, to joyn in common prayer -together. - -9. To give Licence for Marriage, and to marry men and women, the Parents -not having power to do it without the consent of the _Herbood_. - -10. To spend the greatest part of their time in the Temple, that he may -be ready on all occasions. - -11. And last Injunction is, upon pain of Damnation, to believe no other -Law but that of _Zertoost_, and not to add to it, nor diminish it. - -These are the precepts enjoyned the _Herbood_, the _Distoore_ being the -High Priest, who commands all the rest, is enjoyned not only these of -the _Layman_ or _Behedin_, these of the _Herbood_ or Churchmen, but 13 -more of his own, which are these that follow. - -1. That he must never touch any of a strange Cast or Sect, of what -Religion soever; nor any Layman of his own Religion, but he must wash -himself. - -2. That he must do all his own work, in token of humility, and for -purity, _viz._ Set his own hearbs, Sow his own grain, and dress his own -meat, unless he have a Wife to do it for him, which is not usual. - -3. That he take Tyth or Tenth of the _Behedin_, as Gods due, and dispose -of it as he thinks fit. - -4. That he must use no Pomp or superfluity, but either give all away in -charity, or bestow it in building of Temples. - -5. That his house be near the Church, where he must retire himself, -living recluse in Prayer. - -6. That he must live purer than others, both in frequent washings and -dyet, and also sequester himself from his Wife in time of her -pollutions. - -7. That he be learned, and knowing all the several Books of _Zertoost_, -as well the Astrological and Physical parts, as the other. - -8. That he must never eat and drink excessively. - -9. That he fear no body but God, and sin; and not fear what _Lucifer_ -can do to him. - -10. That God having given him power in matters of the soul; therefore -when any man sins he may tell him of it, be he never so great; and every -man is to obey him, as one that speaketh not his own cause, but Gods. - -11. That he be able to discern in what manner God comes to reveal -himself, in what manner _Lucifer_. - -12. That he reveal not what God manifesteth to him by Visions. - -13. That he keep an ever-living fire, that never may go out; which being -kindled by that fire that _Zertoost_ brought from heaven, may endure for -all ages, till fire shall come to destroy all the world, and that he say -his prayers over it. - -This is a Summary of those precepts contained in the book of their Law, -that _Zertoost_ is by them affirmed to bring from heaven; and that -religion which _Gustasph_ with his followers embraced, perswaded by the -afore-mentioned Miracles wrought by _Zertoost_ among them. - -The _3d._ particular in this Tract is the rights and ceremonies observed -by this Sect, differencing them from others. - -First, Though their Law allows them great liberty in meats and drinks; -yet because they will not displease the _Banians_ and _Moors_, they -abstain from Kine and Hogsflesh; they eat alone, and drink in several -Cups. - -2. They observe 6 Feasts in the Year, according to the 6 works of the -Creation. - -3. As for their Fasts, after every one of their Feasts they eat but one -Meale a day for 5 days together; and when they eat Flesh they carry part -of it to the Temple as an offering. - -Their worship of Fire is taken from _Zertoosts_ bringing it from Heaven, -and it being enjoyned them: for the nature of it, that which he brought, -could not be extinguished; whether that be preferred is unknown, but -upon effect thereof they are licensed to compose a fire of several -mixtures, which is of seven sorts; when they meet about that ceremony -bestowed on this Fire, the _Destoore_ or _Herbood_, together with the -Assembly encompass it about, and standing about 11 or 12 foot distance, -the _Destoore_ or _Herbood_ uttereth this speech. _That forasmuch as -Fire was delivered to_ Zertoost _their Law-giver from God Almighty, who -pronounced it to be his vertue and excellence, that therefore they -should reverence it, and not abuse it in the ordinary use thereof, as to -put water in it, or spit in it, &c._ - -At the birth of a child the _Daroo_ or Churchman is sent for, who -calculates the nativity of the Child, and the Mother names it without -any ceremony; after this it is carried to the Church, and water is -poured thereon, and prayer used, _That God would cleanse it from the -uncleanness of the Father, and menstruous pollutions of the Mother_. At -7 years of age he is led by the Parents into the Church to have -Confirmation, where he is taught Prayers, and instructed in Religion, -and being washed, he is cloathed in a linnen Cassock, and other habits, -which he ordinarily wears, and so is admitted into their Sect. - -They have a five-fold kind of marriage, for which they have several -terms; the most singular, is that of hiring a mans Son or Daughter to be -marched to their dead Daughter or Son, with whom they are contracted. -The ceremony observed in their Marriages is performed at Midnight, not -in the Church, but upon a bed, by two Churchmen, one in behalf of the -Man, the other in behalf of the Woman, who ask if they are willing to be -married, and they joyn hands, the Man promising to provide for the -Woman, and give her some Gold to bind her to him; and the Woman -promiseth all she hath is his; then the Churchmen scattering rice, prays -that they may be fruitful, and so they conclude, celebrating the -Marriage feast for 8 days together. - -As for burial they have two places or Tombs, built of a round form, a -pretty height from the ground; within they are paved with stone, in a -shelving manner, in the midst a hollow pit to receive the consumed -bones; about the walls are the shrowded and sheeted Carkasses laid both -of Men and Women, exposed to the open Air. These 2 Tombs are distant -from one another; the one is for the good livers, the other for the -wicked. When any are sick unto death, the _Herbood_ is sent for, who -prays in the ears of the sick man: and when he is dead he is carried on -an Iron biere; all who accompany them are interdicted all speech; only -the Churchman, when the body is laid in the burial place, saith thus, -_This our Brother whilst he lived consisted of the 4 Elements, now he is -dead let each take his own, Earth to Earth, Air to Air, Water to Water, -and Fire to Fire_. This done they pray to _Sertun_ and _Asud_, that they -would keep the Devils from their deceased Brother when he repairs to -their holy fire to purge himself; for they suppose the Soul wandreth -three days on the earth, in which time _Lucifer_ molesteth it; for -security from which molestation, it flyes to their fire, seeking -preservation there; which time concluded, it receiveth justice or -reward, Hell or Heaven; and therefore they for those three days offer up -Prayers Morning Noon and Night, that God would be merciful to the Soul -departed, and forgive his sins. After three days are expired they make a -festival, and conclude their mourning. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. III. - -_The Arrival of the English Fleet, His entertaining of six Englishmen, - an account of whose Adventures is promised him by one of the Company._ - - -I had now spent several Months in my Voyage by Sea, perambulations by -Land, and observations of the Country in general, and this more -particular discovery of the Laws and manners both Civil and -Ecclesiastical of the Inhabitants; a just account whereof I have given -you in the foregoing Chapters: And now we dayly expected the return of -Ships from _England_, and therefore every one provided to be furnished -with all things necessary against their arrival: The Merchants who were -resident on shore had every day several sorts of commodities brought out -of the Country in Waggons drawn by Oxen, so that their Storehouses were -filled; and I for my part provided my self with all sorts of Liquors and -Victuals that the Country afforded. - -At the time usual the Fleet arrived, which consisted of 4 Ships, whereof -3 was on the account of the Company, and the 4th by their permission, -came as an Interloper: Those that came on account of the Company were -provided with all things necessary, by the order of the Consul or -President; and the other Ships Company being left to shift for -themselves, took up my house for their quarters. The chief of the -Company that lodged with me consisted of 6 persons, two whereof seemed -to be very handsome young men, of about 18 years of age; these two were -very well respected, as well by the Captain as the others his -Companions; they were all very frolick, blith, and merry, and several -times laughed at several adventures that had befall'n them during the -Voyage. - -Though the Captain of this Ship came not on the Companies account, yet -he was very richly loaden, and was directed to such persons of this -Country as would be sure to do his business for him; neither was he a -stranger therein, for he had been here twice before, and was acquainted -with most of the _Banians_, who are so curious and diligent observers, -that if they see a man but once, if he ever return, though several years -after, yet they will know him again, especially if they have had any -trading with them; and they have so good a conceit of our Countrymen, -that they will oftentimes trust a Captain with 2 or 300_l._ worth of -Commodities from one year to another, only giving them common interest; -and as to their ordinary dealing and bargaining, they are at a word, and -there is money to be saved by dealing with them, and trusting them, for -if you distrust them, then you shall pay so much the more; if you trust -them they will provide your goods as cheap or cheaper than you can your -self do it, though never so well experienced therein; I needed not to -acquaint our Captain with any of their fashions, for he well enough -understood it himself; but I assisted him and some of the rest in -exchanging their monies; for the _Banians_ allow no more for any Silver -or Gold Coin than it weighs; for it will never goe currant there, till -it be changed or minted into the Coin of the Country. - -Four of my Guests, _Viz._ The Captain, and three of the rest did employ -themselves in looking after the Ships unlading; but the other two, who -were the youngest (and therefore, as I thought, fittest to take pains) -did still stay at home in my house, or else walk out for their -recreation. This, and some other things that I observed, made me curious -in my observations of them in all their actions, suspecting they were -either personages of greater quality than ordinary, or that there was -some other mystery in the case: but they being as cunning as my self -concealed that from me which I since knew, though I tryed them with -several speeches and discourses, in which I thought my self cunning -enough; I observed this, that these two young men never lay together, -but sometimes the Captain lay with one of them, and another person of -his company with the other. The greatest part of their business being -for the present dispatched, they often times staid at home and feasted, -where they drank off great quantities of _Persian_ Wine, and other the -Country drinks, the best I could get for them. They having all drank one -time to a good height, and being very merry, the Captain asked which was -the best house for handsome Women now. I informed him of the best I -knew; but says he, _yee have no English Girls here_, no said I, seldom -any such blessings come into this Country, we are forced to content our -selves with the brown Natives: _I believe_, said the Captain, _if these -two young men_, William _and_ George (for such was the names of the two -young men I spake of) _were hansomly drest in Womens cloaths, they would -pass for hansom Women_. I then of a sudden turning my eyes towards the -parties he spake of, saw that their cheeks were dy’d of a Vermilion hew, -deeper than lately they had acquired by drinking: This caused me to -distrust something; but the rest of the Company falling into a kind of a -laughter, which I supposed was somewhat forced, they altered their -discourse, and began a fresh health to all their friends in _England_, -which I pledged them with a very good will, telling them that I had -some, whose company I had heartily wished for; _what are they_, said the -Captain; Sir, said I, they are such as I beleeve you love, that is, -hansom Women in general; and of these I had the good fortune to be -particularly and intimately acquainted with several. At the ending of -this discourse, I was called for down to attend some of my guests who -were going, which having done, I again went up, where I found the -Captain and the rest in a standing posture, ready likewise to be gone, -at which I wondred, but let them take their pleasures: So five of my six -guests left me, and he had gone too had he not been a little flustred, -and then a sleep. After they were gone several thoughts possest my mind -of what these two youngest persons should be; and it was long ere I -could hit upon the right, but having one person in the house, with whom -I was more intimate than the rest, I resolved to use my utmost interest -with him to be satisfyed: he in few hours awaked, and would have been -gone after his companions; but I so far prevailed with him, that he lay -there that night; and because I would have the better opportunity for my -discourse, I lay with him; when we were in Bed, I told him, that I could -heartily wish I could accommodate him with a female Bedfellow; he -replyed, _that would do very well_; I offered my assistance in procuring -the best of our Country, but he was cold in his reply; whereupon I told -him, that by that time he had been so long in the Country as I had, he -would be glad of one of those whom I sometimes made a shift to spend a -night with: but continued I, I had rather be at Mother _Cr----_ in -_Moorfields_: Are you acquainted there, replyed my Bedfellow, yes, said -I, and at most of those houses of hospitality in or about _London_, to -which Colledges I was a good Benefactor; why, said my Bedfellow, you -have bin right; or else I had never come hither, said I: whereupon I -acquainted him with many of my rambles about _London_, and gave him such -satisfaction in my discourse that he began to be more free with me; and -then I conjured him to deal truly with me in resolving me one question, -to which he promised me, that he would: I having gained thus much upon -him, told him that my request was to know what those two young persons -were, which were called _William_ and _George_: truly said he, you could -not have asked me any thing that I should be more unwilling to discover -than that; but since I have promised you I will tell you, and that the -truth without any disguise, provided, you swear to me, not to discover -or take any notice thereof without my consent, to this I agreed, and -having sworn to him, he told me, that they were not of those names, nor -sex, that they went for, but Women. I told him I had long since doubted -so much, and now I knew it, I would take no notice thereof, but rather -assist than hinder any design wherein there was so much pleasure, for I -had bin as very a wag as any of them, and had in my time run through as -many and various adventures as any man of my age; he hearing me say so, -asked me where I had lived, and the most part of my life: I without any -dissembling, gave him a short account of my life, which so pleased him, -that we spent most part of the night therein, and at my earnest request -he promised me that the next day, he would give me an account of his -life, and adventures, wherein said he, you will find so many different -chances of fortune, as had hardly befallen any man, and I hope said he, -I shall be able to give you a good account thereof: for since my coming -from _England_, I have had time to recollect my self, of some things -that else I had forgotten, but now I have placed the chief passages of -my life into such a Method, as I shall be very exact in; though I was -impatient to hear what he promised me, yet the night being far spent, -sleep seized on us both for some hours, but awaking in the morning, and -putting him in mind of his promise, after a mornings draught taken, and -a command that none should interrupt us, he began as follows. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. IV. - -_The Traveller describeth the place of his birth and Parents, the death - of his elder Brother, and how through the perswasion of his Father; he - resolved to follow thieving._ - - -I was born in _Goldin-Lane_, a place scituate in the Suburbs of -_London_, my Fathers name was _Isaac_, and by reason of his small -stature was commonly called little _Isaac_, being a native of the same -place, and by profession a Cobler; but such was his courage that he -was much troubled when any one called him Cobler; and would reply, -that he was a Translator, or a Transmographer of shooes. His Wife, who -I believe was my Mother, was named _Ursula_; she was in the beginning -of her dayes one of those sort of people that we call _Gipsies_, or -_Canting-Beggars_, and my Father travelling into the Country, and -wanting money to pay for a bed at night, he was forced to take up his -lodging in a barn, where he first came to be acquainted with my -Mother; whether they were ever married or no, I cannot tell, though I -suppose they only took each others words, as being willing to save the -charge of a Priests-hire. But notwithstanding the darkness of her -complexion (as those sort of people commonly have,) there is not so -bad a Jill, but there is as bad a Jack, for it was not long before she -hornifid my Father by a Banbury Tinker: which thing was so well known -amongst the neighbors, that they would commonly make horns with their -fingers, and point at him as he passed along the streets. My eldest -brother at seven years of age attained to such ingenuity that he -seldom carried home any mended shooes to a Gentlemans or Citizens -house, but he would filch either linnen, silver-spoons, or something -else of worth, which by negligent servants was not laid up safely; -which trade he drave for some space of time, being by reason of his -childish years not in the least suspected, but the pitcher goes not so -often to the well, but at length it comes broken home: In processe of -time he was taken with the theft, and for the same carried to -_Newgate_, where poor little Angel (peace be with him) he dyed in -prison, under the pennance of a discipline which was applied to him -with a little too much rigour. - -Our whole family smarted in his punishment, my father sighed, my mother -sobbed, and I wanted my part of those dainty morsels, which his theft -furnished us withall, for by him my father drave a pretty trade; having -those who always furnished him with ready money for whatsoever he -brought, and indeed his loss would have utterly disconsolated my father, -but the great hopes that he had in mee, who was now come to the same age -that my brother was of when he first began to exercise his gifts in the -mystery of theivery; and that I might tread the same steps that my -brother had done before me, my father (upon a certain day, when my -mother and he and I were alone by our selves) began thus for to -endoctrinate me. - -My son (said he) the profession of a thief is not of so base repute as -the world gives it out, considering what brave men have in former times -exercised themselves in this way: I have heard the Clerk of our parish -say, who I assure you was a well read man, that _Robin Hood_ that famous -thief was in his yonger dayes Earl of _Huntingdon_; and that _Alexander -the Great_ was no better then a thief in robbing other Princes of their -Kingdoms and Crowns. (_This it seems he spake in vindication of the -Sexton, who used to rob the dead corps of their sheets and shirts, and -those other necessaries which they carried along with them in their -voyage to heaven._) I tell thee he who steales not, knows not how to -live in this world, nay doth not almost each thing in the world teach us -for to steal? doe we not see youth steal upon infancy, manhood steale -upon youth, and old age upon manhood, until at last death stealeth upon -us undiscern’d and bringeth us to our long homes: How doth summer steal -on the spring, autumn on summer, and winter on autumn, untill all the -whole year is stole out of our sight. Pray what doe rich Farmers and -griping Cormorants, but steal when they exact in their prices of corn, -and grind the faces of the poor; and how can shop-keepers wipe off the -aspersion of theft from themselves when they sell a commodity for twice -the worth of it, and thereby cozen the buyer; so that we see if things -be rightly scanned, there be more thieves in the world than only -Taylors, Millers, and Weavers. And what I pray you makes Serjants, -Bayliffs, and Catchpoles so to envy us, and persecute us as they doe, -but that one trade still envies and malignes another; and would by their -good wills suffer no other theives but themselves; this it is that makes -them so double diligent in the surprizal of us, though oftentimes our -craft forestals their malice, as I shall instance to you in one -memorable example. - -My self and two of my comrades had agreed to rob a rich Usurer, whose -younger brother having vitiously wasted his estate, was forced to take -this his brothers house for sanctuary, where he kept as close as a snail -in his shell, unless only at such times when as he imagined the darkness -of the night might shrewd him in obscurity, he so dreaded these shoulder -clappers, who stick closer to a man than a bur on his cloak, for being -once got into their clutches, you may as soon wring _Hercules_ club out -of his fist, as get free from their fingers; and herein have thieves a -great priviledge over debters, for the most notorious thief that ever -was, once in a months time he is carted out of prison, as others for -smaller matters are freed from durance by following the cart, where a -fellow with a catt of nine tayles doth play him such a lesson, as makes -him to skip and mount for joy of his deliverance; but with a poor debter -the case is far different, for being once in prison, the best teame of -Horses that ever drew in a waggon, cannot draw him out from thence -without a silver hook. - -But to speak of that (some) which more properly belongs unto thee (for I -suppose thou wilt never attain to such credit as for to be laid up in -prison for debt,) by the help of a servant of the house, who went -sharers with us in our prey, we got a false key made to the back door, -whereby (one night) we attained an easie entrance, and loaded our -selves, to our hearts content; but in our return one of our companions -chanced to sneeze, and therewithal brake wind so violently behind, that -it waked the old usurer, who suspitious of the least noise presently -cryed out _Thieves, thieves_: _Trusty Roger_ his man was very ready to -rise at first allarm, fearing that our discovery might prove prejudicial -to his liberty, and lighting a candle, pretended to search every hole in -the house, into which it was possible for a mouse to enter; In the meane -time we lay close, yet not, unperceived by this false servant, who very -formally told his Master that all was safe and well, and that he might -take his rest without any fear; But the dread of his hearing us -prolonged our stay, so long, that day began to approach, whereupon -fearing more danger from without than from within, we prepared for our -departure, but having opened the door, we found that we had leapt out of -the frying pan into the fire, and by shunning _Scylla_ were fallen into -_Charibdis_, for four of these Catchpoles were waiting at the door for -the Usurers brother, having intelligence belike that he used to make the -dusky morning and dark evening the two shrowds that carried him safely -out and into his Brothers house; Now I going out of the door first, one -of these robustious fellows laid hands upon me, taking me for the party -they waited for, my two companions endeavouring to rescue me were seized -on by the other three Baylifs, so that we seeing no hopes of escape, -resolved to cry whore first, and with full mouth cryed out _Thieves, -thieves_; _Trusty Roger_ and the man that should have been arrested, -hearing this cry, took weapons in their hands, and out of doors they -came, where _Roger_ soon perceiving how the business went _ah you -Rogues_ (said he) _doe you come to rob my Master_? and thereupon laid so -nimbly about him, being seconded by the other, that the Bailiffs were -glad to let us go to defend themselves. Whilest they were thus busied in -pelting each other, we slipped away with our prize, and to take a full -revenge of those Catch-poles, raised several of the neighbors, whom we -sent to the apprehending of the Bayliffs, whilest we marched away in -safety; what became of them afterwards I doe not know, onely this I tell -thee, to let thee see that there is not any danger whatsoever so great, -but by wit and cunningness may be avoided. This story I heard with great -attention which so wrought upon my mind that I thought my self no less -than a second _Robin Hood_ or little _John_, and thereupon resolved to -put in speedy execution my fathers dictates which yet proved very -unfortunate to me, as you will finde by that which follows. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. V. - -_His robbing of Orchards, how he was cachett by a Night-spell; the - extremity their family was brought unto, and how to relieve it, he - robbed a Grocer._ - - -My mind being thus fully fixt to follow thieving, I began my trade in -robbing of Orchards, returning home with laden thighs, the trophies, and -spoils of Cherry-trees, Pear-trees, and Plum-trees. My mother instead of -correcting me for what I had done, encouraged me to proceed on as I had -begun; for indeed hunger had pinched us sorely ever since my brothers -death, my fathers credit being so eclipsed thereby, that until people -saw he would mend his life, scarce any one would employ him to mend -their shoes. One Orchard I especially haunted it being stor’d with most -gallant fruit, whose very looks me thought did cry, _Come eat me_: but -so often I frequented the same, especially one tree of more choice fruit -than all the rest, that the owner of the Orchard (being a rich miserable -chuff, and one who knew on which side his bread was butter’d) began to -mistrust the same, and therefore that his apples might not depart away -without first taking leave of him, he resolved for the future to prevent -the same, and having some little skill in negromancy, against my next -coming he inchanted his Orchard with a Night-spel. - -This he placed at the four corners of his Orchard, in the hour of -_Mars_, and is of such force being rightly applyed, that who ever comes -within the bounds thereof, must be forced to stay there till Sun-rising. -Now I that knew not any thing of what was done, according to my -accustomed course, having the dark night for my coverture, boldly -enter’d the Orchard, with winged haste ascended upon one of the trees, -where having filled a bag with Apples which my mother had furnished me -withal for that purpose, I thought to depart away as formerly I had -done, but the case was quite alter’d from what was before; for I found -my self in such a Labyrinth that the best clue of my invention could not -winde me out; Here did I wander about with my bag on my shoulders -(having not the power in the least to lay it down) till such time as -_Aurora_ begun to usher in the day, when the old chuff enter’d the -Orchard to see what fish his net had caught, resolving with severity to -punish the _Caitifs_ that had stoln away his goods, but in stead of a -Gudgeon finding but a sprat, beholding my Childish years, he could not -imagine me to be the Author of so much wrong as he had received; and -thereupon altering his resolution of breaking arms and leggs as he first -intended, he stepped back to his house & fetched from thence a great -burchin rod, the instrument wherewith he intended to chastise me withal, -with much silence he approached unto me; (for a words speaking would -dissolve the charm) and having with some strugling untrust my Breeches, -laying me over his knee, he began to exercise the office of a Pedagogue -upon me; now I having for some space of time before eaten nothing but -green fruit, had gotten a terrible looseness, which with the fright that -I was in, and the smart that I felt, wrought such effects in my belly, -that opening my posteriors, I discharged a whole volley of excrements in -his face. This action of mine made him at once to shut his eyes, open -his mouth, and unloose his hands, so that the charm being broken, and my -body at liberty, I quickly conveyed my self out of the Orchard, leaving -the old catterpillar in a very stinking condition, not to be remedied -without the benefit of that cleansing element of water. - -Warned by this disaster, I was very fearful to enter into any more -Orchards, and indeed had I met no Remora in my proceedings, yet this -trade would soon have failed, for not long after the Apples were all -transplated out of the Orchard into the Cellar, and winter began to -hasten on apace. And now hunger which will not be treated withal without -bread, began to reign Lord and King in our family; the Chandler would -let us have no more cheese for chalk, nor peny loaves for round O’s, we -had made a black poast white already with our score, and his belief -would extend no further to trust us for any more: nay the very -Ale-house-keeper (to whom we were such constant customers) was now grown -such a Nullifidian, that he would not believe us for small-beer, -wherefore we were forced to make a vertue of necessity, and to prevent -starving, our houshold goods marched away one after another; the first -thing that we sold was the Cup-board as the most unnecessary thing in -all the house, having no victuals to put therein; soon after followed -the Table as an appendix to it, for seeing the Table will hold no -victuals thereon for us to eat, we in revenge thereof did eat up the -Table; That (with some joynt-stools belonging to it) being devoured and -gone, our stomacks were so hot that it soon melted away the pewter -dishes; for we considered with our selves that good meat might be eaten -out of wooden platters; then followed the napkins and table-cloaths, for -we were not so much cloyed with fat meat but that a little linnen would -serve to wipe the greace off of our fingers; in fine this pinching -hunger was the _Habeas corpus_ that removed all our goods out of the -House unto the Brokers, and now our dwelling place corresponded with our -bellies, being alike both empty. - -In this comfortless condition we remained for the space of three days, -having neither money nor any thing to make money of; being thus sadly -necessitated, my father and I set our witts upon the Tenter-hooks which -way to recruit our decayed estate, many inventions we had for that -purpose, and present necessity urged us to make a speedy use of one of -them, which not long after we brought to pass in this manner. - -It being then winter time, the Evenings long and dark, we bought a Link -for three pence, the remainder of our whole estate; with this about ten -of the clock in the night we marched out, resolving to fasten on the -fairest opportunity that should present its self to our sight; many -streets we traversed, but found not any thing that might answer either -our intent or expectation. Coming at last to _Basing-lane_, and casting -our wandring eyes into a Shop, we there espyed a Grocer telling of money -on a Counter, being lighted only by a single candle; this made for our -purpose, whereupon my father planting himself, I boldly entered the -Shop, desiring him to give me leave to light my Link; which being -granted, I with the same soon popt out his Candle, snatching up a -handful of mony, ran out of the doors with the same as fast as I could; -the Grocer hasted after me amain, in the mean time my father stept into -the shop, and took away the remainder of the mony. My nimbleness had -soon out stripped the Grocer, who returned back, and found that the -Devil might dance upon his Counter, for there was never a cross to keep -him from it. About an hour after we met together at home, where having -counted our purchase, we found it amounted to seven pounds eighteen -shillings and six pence. So long as this mony lasted, the pot, the spit, -and pitcher was never idle; but what was thus got over the Devils back -was soon spent under his belly, and in a short time we were reduced to -as great want as we were in before. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. VI. - -_He cheateth a Cutler, afterwards robbeth a bacon man, his father is - prest away for a Soldier, his mother dyeth, and he being left alone - goeth to live with an uncle, where he acteth many Rogueries._ - - -Necessity is the best whetstone to sharpen the edge of a mans invention, -when the gutts begin to grumble against the belly for want of food, oh -in what a confusion is then this little microcosme of ours? how is the -invention rack’d, tortur’d and stretched forth to supply that defect, my -hungry belly found this to be too true, which made me set my wits on -work for a speedy remedy; a project quickly came into my head, but to -effect the same I wanted mony; this was a double task for me to doe, but -a willing minde overcomes all difficulties; away went I to a Cutlers, -where in the cheapning of one knife, I stole another, and lest the -Cutler should mistrust me, I came up to his price, but pretended I had -forgotten my mony, and therefore must goe home and fetch it. This stoln -knife I sold for a groat, which money I intended for a bait to catch a -bigger fish; some few streets I traversed before my project would -fasten, at last coming to _Warwick Lane_ I saw in a Bacon-shop a fellow -standing in a pocket blew-apron whose innocent looks gave me confident -hopes of a golden prize; in I went and asked him the price of a pound of -bacon, six pence boy said he of the rib, and four pence of the gammon; -then give me a pound of the gammon (said I) and here is a groat the -whole estate of a poor boy who hath been a long time in getting the -same. Whilest he was weighing it I told him I had a curst mother in law, -who fed me only with a bit and a knock, which made me to go with an -empty belly and a heart full of sorrow; that if shee should know I were -in possession of so eatable a commodity, she would take it from me, and -that she did often search my pocket for that purpose: I therefore -desired him to prevent the worst that might happen, to put the same down -my back betwixt my doublet and shirt, which whilst he was doing, I -leaning my head against him, with a short knife cut the pocket out of -his apron, and having thanked him very kindly, away I went, leaving my -poor Bacon-man with a bottomless pennyless pocket. - -My purchased prize was about thirty shillings, of which some four of it -was in brass farthings; but all was currant coyn that came into my -hands, for I made no scruple at all in the receiving it; with this I -returned home, thinking to be received with much joy, as having gotten -that in my pocket which would make us all merry, but the case was quite -alter’d from what was before; my mother was on a sudden fallen sick, my -father pressed for a soldier, & hurried away. This much abated the edge -of my mirth, but my years not being capable of much sorrow, although my -Mothers death ensued not long after, yet it was soon over, and indeed -her outward condition was so deplorable, it had been almost impiety to -have wished her longer life. - -Now though my condition was bad enough before, yet by my Mothers death -it was much worse; I was now left to the wide world, friendless, -monyless, and pittyless, for not any one of the neighbors would give me -entertainment, expecting no good fruit from the loyns of such a bad -stock. To follow my trade of theiving I began to dread, for every line, -rope, & halter that I saw, methoughts did admonish me to leave it off, -for fear I came home short at last, and to follow the occupation of -begging was then a very bad time to begin in, it being about the depth -of winter: at last I remembred my Mother had a brother, a -Barber-Chyrurgion, living in St. _Martins_; thither I went, acquainted -him with his sisters death, my own sad condition, and what a boy I would -prove if it would please him to give me entertainment; he being ignorant -of the trade that I drove, and moved with compassion at my pittiful -tale, told me if I performed what I promised, I should not want for any -thing he could assist me in: hereupon I was had into the house, and -though my Aunt scowled on me, my Uncle commanded my rags to be taken -off, and a suit of one of my Cousins put upon me, as being the more -durable, although my own were a thousand strong. - -Having thus with the snake cast my skin, and attained to good diet and -lodging, I quickly began to be as brisk as a body-Lowse, and to vapour -amongst the boys like a Crow in a Gutter; and (notwithstanding my -promise) my mind was now wholly fixt upon Roguery, but in a lower orb -than what I practised before, tending rather to mirth then much -mischief; to doe this I had several inventions, according as time and -place were convenient; one of my first exployts was, that being sent of -an errand to a Grocers shop in a frosty morning, where was a pan of -coals to warm their fingers, I secretly conveyed therein some Guinney -peper, which set the Prentices in such a violent coughing fit that they -were not able to speak to a Customer; their Mistress hearing this noise -below, came running down staires, where senting the matter, she began to -speak aloud at both ends, and being something laxative by drinking of -Sider, she bewrayed in what a condition she was in by what was scattered -on the floar. - -Sometimes would I in a clean place where wenches were to pass, lay a -train of Gun-powder; and at the very instant that they went along, set -fire to it, which was a great pleasure to my Worship to see how the poor -Girles would skip and leap, just like a horse when he hath a nettle -under his tayle. At other times in the night would I tye a line from one -side of the street to the other about half a foot high, whereby those -that came next were sure to have a fall; nay I could not forbear to act -my Rogueries in the Church it self, having a Goose-quill filled with -lice and fleas, which I would purchase of the Beggars for broken meat; -these would I blow into the necks of the daintiest Gentlewomen that I -could see. At other times would I with a needle and thread (which I -always carried about with me in my pocket) sow mens cloaks and womens -Gowns together as they stood in the Crowd, so that when they went away, -there would be such pulling of one another, that they would never leave -until one of their Garments had a piece of it rent out. - -Amongst other instruments of mischief wherewith I exercised my self, one -was a hallow trunck to shoot with, in which I was such an artist that I -seldome mist hitting the mark I aimed at; and that I might be the better -undiscovered I on purpose brake a hole in the glass-window, through -which I used to shoot at my pleasure, scarce could an oyster-wench or -Kitching-stuff wench pass by, but I would hit her on the neck, hands, or -some naked place, which would set her a rayling and scolding for a -quarter of an hour together at she knew not whom. One Monday morning a -shoo-makers maid had been fetching a great pitcher of beer for the -Crispins to begin their weeks work withall; now as she sayled along with -the pitcher in her hand, which with the weight thereof drew her quite a -one side, to prevent the wenches growing crooked thereby, I levell’d so -right that I hit her on the fingers, so that down came the pitcher, and -with the weight thereof brake all in pieces, and spilt the good liquor; -the poor wench cryed pittyfully, the Crispins stormed for loosing their -mornings draughts, and being informed it was I that did it, they vowed -to be revenged on me, which not long after they brought to pass. - -For I that could not live without Roguery no more then a fish without -water, still continued my trade notwithstanding all their threats. One -day whilest I was watching for my prey, thorow the hole of the -glass-window aforesaid, there came by a man with a basket of -drinking-glasses on his head; scarce was he past me, when I saluted him -with a dirt-bullet on the Calf of his leg, which made him give such a -leap, that down came the basket with the glasses clattering upon the -stones, making such a murther amongst them, that never was a Citizen -(though he owed ten thousand pound more then he was worth) so much -broken as they. The fellow seeing his glasses thus mortified, cursed -most bitterly, breathing forth nothing but revenge, if he did but know -who it was that did it. I who was conscious of my own guilt, hearing him -so to thunder, thought some of his anger might lighten on me, and -therefore to prevent the worst, I ran up the stairs, and hid my self -under the bed; but he that hath a bad name is worse then half hang’d, -the shoomakers who I had mischiefed before, right or wrong, said -positively that it was I, urging him on to revenge hiself on my Uncles -glass-windows; the fellow who was easily induced to believe what they -said, and to act accordingly, made no more adoe but up with his empty -basket, and to revenge his quarrel made such havock of the windows, that -there was scarcely ever a quarrel left. O how did my Uncle look, and my -Aunt scold to see their house thus metamorphosed into the shape of a -Bawdy-house; but it was in vain for them to complain, every one took the -mans part, and laid all the blame of the mischief upon me; hereupon was -a privy search made all the house over for me, and being found my poor -buttocks paid full dearly for the breaking of the windows, my Aunt -standing by all the while to see execution done upon me, and urging my -Uncle on to beat me, for which I cursed her in my heart most bitterly. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. VII. - -_He discovers his Aunts playing loose with a Shopkeeper, his Vncles - invective against women._ - - -My Aunts unkindness to me vexed me to the heart, so that I vowed to my -self to be revenged on her; the print of the rod did not stick so fast -on my buttocks as the remembrance of her words did stick in my minde; I -was not so watched by _Argus_ as I watched her, for I knew that women -were subject to many faults, and my Aunt as subject as any of the rest; -One Shopkeeper used constantly to haunt our house, not a day passed in -which we had not his company; This man my uncle entertained with very -much respect, for what reason I know not, unless it were that of the -Poets. - - _Experience plainly doth unto us shew, - Cuckolds are kind to them that make them so._ - -One day my Uncle went forth to dress a patient, no sooner was he gone -but the Shopkeeper was there; Now our whole family consisted only of -four persons, my Uncle and Aunt, a maid and my self; in order therefore -for their more privacy, the maid was sent to the market to buy eggs, and -my self had liberty to go forth to play; I kindely thanked my Aunt for -this courtesie, and taking my hatt, with a seeming forwardness pretended -to go forth: but clapping to the door on the in side, I softly sneaked -back and hid my self under the staires, where undiscerned I could -plainly see all the passages between my Aunt and the Shopkeeper. He -thinking us gone, took my Aunt by the hand, and clasping his arm about -her neck, fell to kissing her with as much eagerness as a hungry dog -snatcheth at a bone; no doubt but her lips were very sweet, for he was -still hanging at them as if he had taken a lease of them for three -lives; at last my Aunt began to struggle (I suppose for want of breath) -and opening her mouth (which I wisht a hundred times had been closed -eternally) she thus said to him: _No pish, why do you thus trifle? now -that the Coast is clear, let us take time by the for-lock lest we be -prevented of our design: in sooth you are so long about the prologue, as -may chance to marr the Comedy; make not such a long stop at the porch, -but enter loves Cittadel, and ransack all her treasures_, and so giving -him a short kiss, hand in hand up stairs they went. No sooner were they -gone, but I slipt out of my peeping hole, and coming to the door at the -stairs foot, softly locked the same, and putting the key in my pocket, -with as little noyse conveyed my self out of the house. - -Thus whilest they were playing their game, I resolved to play mine, and -hiring a Porter, sent him to my Uncle, to certifie him that my Aunt was -swounded away, and laid upon the bed in such a condition as would grieve -him to the heart to behold it, desiring him to make all the haste home -that possibly he could; and having given him his message, I stept aside -to a neighbors house to observe (when my uncle came home) how the -project would take. - -The Porter quickly dispatched his errand, and my Uncle suddenly posted -home, where entering the house and finding not any one within, he began -first to call for the maid, then for me, and last of all for my Aunt; -but receiving no answer, he attempted to go up stairs, when the -locksmiths daughter denyed him entrance. The two Lovers (who by this -time had verified the saying to be true, that a man may be made a -Cuckold in the short time of going to a neighbors house, as well as -going a voyage to the _West-Indies_) hearing my Uncle below, were almost -distracted with this surprize; my Aunt dreaded my Uncles anger, knowing -him to be of a very chollerick disposition; and the poor Shopkeeper -feared to be served as the Country Clown served the Curate whom he took -in bed with his wife, and whom he thus menaced. - - _Make me a Cuckold, reading Rogue: - No pulpit serve but Susan’s, - Must Susan’s smock your pulpit be? - Ile take away that Nusance. - And though Priest wept, and wife did beg, - Churl slighted words and tears, - And at one gash from Curate took - Musquet and Bandaliers._ - -This feare of loosing his generals made him to shake worse than if he -had had a Tertian ague, and therefore to prevent it he crept underneath -the bed, whilest my Aunt went down stairs intending to smother up all -with a dissembling kiss; but when she saw the door was fast, and my -uncle asked her why she locked it? she could not tell what answer to -make at present; but being well principled in the mysteries of _Venus_, -she soon recollected her self, and with a sorrowfull voice (as if she -had been sick of a feaver for a fortnight together) she pewled out these -words: _Ah dear Husband_ (said she) _I was lately taken with such a -great swimming in my head, as not able to sit up longer, I was forced to -go up stairs and lie down upon the bed; in the mean time I suppose your -unhappy kinsman (who minds nothing but mischief) hath in revenge of me -for causing him to be beaten, locked the door, and thrown away the key_. -Whilest she was thus exclaiming on me, I came in puffing and blowing as -seeming quite orewearied with play, and as if ignorant of what had -hapned, asked very earnestly what was the matter? My Aunt though she -were mue’d up like a hawk, yet hearing my tongue, could not forbear to -vend her spleen against me in these words: _You impudent young Rogue_ -(said she) _doe you act mischief and then plead ignorance? O that I were -but well for thy sake, I would make every limb of thee feel the weight -of my displeasure_, concluding her invective with as horrid a yelling as -an old woman grown hoars with crying of Sprats, or as a company of dogs -when they bark at the Moon. - -My Uncle who was of the same nature that other Cuckolds are commonly of, -to believe whatsoever their Wife doe say unto them, hearing her so -positively to affirm it was I that did it, he began presently to ransack -my pockets for the key, protesting if he found the same about me, he -would make me an example of his severity. But I who always dreaded what -might ensue, to prevent such after claps, had before bestowed the same -in a house of office. No sooner had my Uncle examined my pockets, (where -was not any thing to be found that might do me a prejudice,) but I began -to enveigh against my Aunts malice in blaming my innocency, and to -perswade him it could be no other then some thief, who whilest my Aunt -slept, having locked the door, had hid himself in one of the Chambers. -This though it carried but little show of probability in it, yet the -fear of loosing his Mammon made him believe any thing, and therefore -presently sent me for a Smith to break open the door, which being done, -we all three ascended the stairs to search for his hidden Thief, -although my Aunt vehemently urged the contrary, alleadging it was -impossible that any one should go up the stairs but she must needs hear -them; how ever my uncle would not be so pacified, but searching about, -he at last spyed the poor Shopkeeper as he lay shaking underneath the -bed half dead with fear. But when he saw who it was, turning to my Aunt -he said, _You impudent whore, do you abuse me thus? you could feign -sickness with a pox to you, when you were so rampant as to Cornute me in -my absence: is this your pretended chastity and reservation? I shall -take a time when to be even with you; In the mean time Master -Shopkeeper_ (said he) _I will have my pennyworths out of you_, and -thereupon falling on him with his fists, (anger giving him at once both -strength and courage) he so buffeted the Shopkeeper, that had not the -Smith interposed, I suppose he would go near to have killed him; but -after an hundred or above of blows, the Smith stepped in betwixt them, -giving the Shopkeeper liberty to run away, bearing along with him the -marks of my Uncles anger, which he wore as badges in his face for a long -time after. - -My Aunt seeing how bad the Shopkeeper had sped, and knowing the business -too apparent to be denied, fell down on her knees, desiring my Uncle to -pardon her for what was past, and protesting amendment for the time to -come; this her humiliation much mollified the edge of my Uncles anger, -who in stead of beating her (which I heartily wished) fell a railing on -the whole sex of women in general, in these or the like words. - -O Nature! why didst thou create such a plague for men as women; how -happy were men had they never been; oh why could not Nature infuse the -gift of procreation in men alone without the help of women? then should -we never be acquainted with the deceitful devices of those Devils, -Harpies, Cockatrices, the very Curse of man, dissembling monsters, only -patcht up to cozen and gull men; borrowing their Hair from one, -Complexions from another, nothing of their own that’s pleasing, all -dissembled, not so much as their very breath is sophisticated with Amber -pellets and kissing causes, and all to train poor man unto his ruine. A -woman shee’s an Angel at ten, a Saint at fifteen, a Devil at forty, and -a Witch at fourscore, so stufft with vice as leaves no place for vertue -to inhabit; of such crooked conditions, and corrupt actions, that if all -the world were paper, the Sea inke, trees and plants, penns, and all men -Clerks, Scribes, and Notaries, yet would all that paper be scribled -over, the inke wasted, penns worn to the stumps, and all the Scriveners -weary, before they could describe the hundredth part of a womans -wickedness, so that I may very well conclude with the Poet. - - _There is not one good woman to be found; - And if one were, she merits to be crown’d._ - -This my Uncles invective puts me in mind of a story which I have heard -since, concerning the scarcity of good women, that above five hundred -years agone, there was a great sickness almost throughout the whole -world, wherein there dyed forty four millions, eight hundred seventy two -thousand, six hundred and eighty three good women, and of bad women only -two hundred and fourteen; by reason whereof there hath been such a -scarcity of good women ever since, the whole breed of them being then -almost utterly extinct. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. VIII. - -_His Aunt and the maid joyn together, and by a blinde wager make him to - be laughed and hooted at by the boyes; he is soundly revenged on them - both for the same._ - - -Never was Prentice more subject to a Master then my Aunt was to my -Uncle, after the discovery of her leachery; his desires were commands, -and those commands laws which were by her put in speedy execution, if he -bid her go, she would run; doe that, it was no sooner said then done, -but the greatest miracle of all was, that if she were never so busy in -talking, yet if he said but _peace_, she would suddenly hold her tounge, -which before used to be in perpetual motion, and was as hard to be -stopped as a stream when it hath overflowne its banks, or the sails of a -mill when the wind blows in its greatest violence, so that a serene sky -seemed to have succeeded that storm that all things were pacified, and -that my Uncle had contentedly put his horns in his pocket. - -But though she carried fair weather in her countenance, she had storms -of revenge in her heart towards me; for she did more than conjecture -that it was I which had caused her all this mischief; and therefore -since she durst not vend her spleen upon me her self, she used the help -of her Maid, who brought the same to pass after this manner. - -One evening (my uncle being abroad) whilest she, the maid and I were -sitting alone by the fire, after some other discourse, the maid profer’d -to lay a wager with me that I could not blindfolded with my tongue lick -forth a six pence from betwixt her breasts, this I thought so easy a -thing to do, that I willingly laid a shilling with her on the same, and -presently accorded for to be blinded: which whilest she was doing, my -Aunt (as it was before agreed) stepped forth of doors, and called in a -Boy who was to act their design, as also some of the neighbours to be -spectators of this my folly. Now in stead of the Maids brest, the Boyes -Hose were put down, and his naked breech exposed to be the object for me -to lick, which I greedily persued: but presently hearing a gigling, and -senting a ranck smell, I soon desisted, as being very apprehensive what -the matter was. But when I was unblinded, and beholding my shame before -my eyes, I hung down my head and look't like a dog that had stole a -pudding, much blaming my credulity, and bitterly cursing the great cause -of that their jollity. - -For a long time after I could not walk the streets, I was so laughed and -hooted at by the Boyes, my Aunt and the Maid having spread the same -abroad in every place, flesh and blood could not endure this, to see my -enemies triumph in my shame, so that nothing now ran in my mind but -revenge, the very thought of mischief was more sweet unto me than -Muscadine and Eggs, and soon I thought upon a way for to do it. One of -our neighbours who beared a little love to my Aunt, as she did to me, or -loyalty to my Uncle, having a burning glass, I imparted my project unto -him, who applauding my invention, willingly lent me the same; thus -fitted with an instrument, I soon found out an opportunity to work my -revenge. My Aunt being extreamly proud, used to wear Lawn Ruffs of a -great value. One Sun-shiney day, sitting in the Shop a sowing with her -back towards me, I took the burning-glass, and by attracting the -Sun-beams set her Ruffs on a flame about her neck, which made her to -shreik and bellow most hiddeously; whereupon I started up, and as if -affrighted snatched up a payl of dirty water away from the Maid -wherewith she was washing the Kitchin, and poured the same on my Aunts -head; this though it made her to look like a Bawd that was newly -alighted from the Cart wherein she had ridden for the sin of leachery, -did she take as a great courtesie at my hands, having thereby -extinguisht the fire wherein otherwise she might (she said) have -perisht; not in the least judging it was I that did it, but imputing it -as a just Judgment upon her for her intollerable pride, and vowing -thereafter to be more humble in her carriage, and loving unto me. - -Now though I thought I had plenary satisfaction for my abuse, of my -Aunt, yet I resolved that the maid should in no case go scotfree, but -that her disgrace should be equal to mine; Being thus resolved, I -procur’d some Emmets Eggs by the help of a Countryman; the nature of -which are, that being taken, in broth posset, ale, or the like, they -will set the parties on farting, as if they would break their very -twatling strings therewith. The very next day after I had gotten them, -my Uncle had invited some Guests to dinner, wherefore I resolved to put -my resolution in execution then. That morning the maid to strengthen her -the better to go through her work, had provided her self a Caudle, she -being of the same nature that most women are of, to know very well what -is good for themselves, no sooner was her back turned, but I conveyed -the Eggs into the same, which she very freely drank off, but presently -her Belly began to wamble, and her back-side proclaimed aloud that she -was very much troubled with winde; such loud reports she gave, and so -fast they came one after another, that the good wife in the Tale _of the -Fryer and the Boy_, was a meer nothing to her. I could not forbear -laughing if I should have been hang’d to hear how fast she trumpt it -about, which gave her occasion to mistrust that I had done something -unto her; but when she went to rail at me, her tongue could not be heard -for the exceeding noise that she made with her Tail. By this time my -Aunt was come down off her Chamber, but hearing how the Maid talkt to -her at both ends, she could not forbear laughing neither, which vexed -the Maid worse than before. My Uncle hearing the great noise that was -made, came also to see what was the matter, but _Jane_ (for so was the -Maids name) was so ashamed that she could not speak one word for -blushing, only that her Tail proclaimed that she had a very great Civil -War within her belly: poor _Jane_ did all she could to hold it in but it -would not do, but out it flew with such impetuosity, that my uncle could -less forbear then we, but laughed as if he would have split himself. -This treble noise of laughter made _Jane_ to think that we had all -conspired against her, wherefore she got into her Chamber, and -notwithstanding dinner was to dress, yet locking the door, all the -Rhetorick that could be used to her, could not prevail with her to quit -her Chamber all that day. - -Next morning (her body being now in a quiet temper) she appeared out of -her den, but who should then have seen her looks might plainly perceive -how anger and shame strove which should have most predominancy in her; -at first her Clack began to go, but my Aunt pacifying her, she fell to -her work as she was accustomed. Now over night I had so devulg’d it -amongst the Boyes, that when that forenoon she was sent to market, she -had not been far out of doors but she had a hundred boyes at her heels, -farting with their mouths, and making such loud hoots and hollows, that -she was forced to return back again, where inclosing her self within her -Chamber till night, she packt up her cloaths and in the dusk of the -Evening departed away, whither I never saw her afterwards. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. IX. - -_Some abuses of Chyrurgions; the knavery of Tapsters, Hostlers and - Chamberlains, with a brief character of a drunken Host._ - - -Having now attained to about twelve years of age, my uncle began to -instruct me somewhat in his art of Chyrurgery, intending when I had -attained some small perfection therein, to send me to Sea, although my -minde never stood that way, resolving not to be mue’d up in a wooden -Cage, where there was but some few inches distance continually betwixt -me and death. In this small tract of time that I was thus employed with -my Uncle, I found out much cuningness in his art whereby to gain money, -for if it were but a prickt finger, he would make a great matter of it, -and tell you what danger you had been in if you had staid but a minute -longer; instancing how such a one his Patient _by only cutting of a -Corn, and drawing blood, it turned to a Gangreen, which by bad handling -of unskilful Chyrurgions growing worse and worse, they were at last -inforced to send for him, who in a few days made him perfectly sound, -that otherwise_ (had he not come to him) _must inevitably have perisht_. - -Now because monyed Customers were something rare, when they did come we -made both their bodies and purses smart for it; lengthening out the -healing of their wounds, the better to wire-draw their purses. Indeed we -were not so much beholding to the Wars, as we were to the Stews, unless -sometimes a Tavern quarrel brought us a Patient; but then what a brave -incitement we had to make him part with his mony, telling him he might -recover that and ten times more of his Adversary, that we would be -witness for him, and that if he had not met with a skilful Chyrurgion, -it would have cost him his life; when as perhaps it was but a little -scratch, his block-head being too hard for to receive any deep wound. - -One story of a Patient I shall relate, not so much to show the rarity of -his cure, but the malice of a woman which occasioned his hurt. - -The fellow by his profession was a Plaisterer, who had a most damnable -scold to his wife, that used to fetch him from the Ale-house with a -Horse-pox; one night coming home three quarters drunk, she acted the -part of _Zantippe_, and make the House to ring with her scolding; this -musick was so untunable in her husbands ears, that getting a Cudgel in -his hands, he fell to be labouring her as Sea-men do stock-fish, until -he made her to ask him forgiveness, and promise him never to scold so -again: Having thus as he thought got an absolute conquest over her -tongue, he went quietly to Bed, where he slept soundly, whilest she lay -awake studying of mischief. In the morning before he wak't she examind -his pockets for mony, the common tricks of a great many women; but found -nothing in them save only some lath-nails; these did she take and set -upright all about the Chamber, which done she gets a pail of water in -her hands, and calling aloud, commands him to rise, which he refused to -do, she throws the pail of water upon the Bed; this so vext him that -starting suddenly up, he went to run after her, when his naked feet -lighting upon the lath nails, he was forced to slacken his pace, being -so mortified with them, that for three quarters of a year afterwards he -lay under my Uncle’s hands. - -But to return where I left. I had not been long at the Trade, when my -Uncle one day walking down to _Wapping_, provided me of a master to go -to Sea, which (as I told you before) I was fully resolved against, and -therefore very peremptorily I told him that I would not go, which so -incensed him that he vow’d that I should not stay any longer in his -house; I was the less troubled at his words because the day before I had -heard of a Tapster in an Inn not far off that wanted a Boy; thither -therefore went I and profferd my service unto him, which he as readily -accepted, and the same night was I entertained into the House, he having -heard the cause of my departure from my Uncle, for which he rather -blamed him than me. - -Now was I in my Kingdom having store of company, and my fill of strong -drink, which two things I dearly loved. I applied my self to my calling -very diligently, and soon learned to cry _Anon, anon Sir_, and _By and -by_, with as much alacrity as the best Tapsters Boy in Christendom. My -Master taught me how to nick the Canns, and froth the Jugs, and with the -crotched chalk to score up two flaggons for one, and I quickly found the -way, when Company was drinking to take away flaggons before they were -half empty, and full tobacco-pipes amongst the foul ones. When Company -first came in, I always observ’d to bring them of the best liquor, but -when they were half drunk, then that which run on Tilt, or the drappings -of the tap should serve their turn; if they found fault, I would take it -away to change it, but nevertheless they should be sure to pay for it, -as if they had drunk it. - -One thing I observed of my master, that if the Reckoning once came to -above three shillings, he would be sure to bring in six pence or eight -pence more than it was; then when the Company were going away he would -say, _Nay stay, Gentlemen, & take my half dozen Cans before you go_, -which most commonly produced another reckoning, the Gentlemen not -knowing how to retaliate his kindness without doing so, by this means -getting their mony, with thanks to boot. If Gentlemen brought tobacco of -their own, we would say it stunk were it never so good, and feigning a -Cough as if half stifel’d, cry out, _Who is it that takes of this -stinking stuff? this is enough to suffocate the Devil_. Which would make -some Gentlemen to throw away their pipes and say, _Pox on this Grocer he -hath cheated me damnably, come give us three pipes of your tobacco_, -which when they have had they would commend for superexcellent, although -perhaps twelve pence in the pound worse than his own, by which may be -proved that tobacco is nothing else but a meer fancy. - -I seeing my master cozen Gentlemen so frequently, thought with my self -that I might cozen them also, or at least-wise cozen my master, who so -often cozened others, being warranted thereto by that of the Poet. - - _Cozen the Cozener, commonly they be - Profain, let their own snare their ruine be._ - -And therefore when he was out of the way, to the reckoning I would add a -groat, six pence, eight pence, or twelve pence, according as it was in -bigness, which yet I would also score up, lest if he came in the way -before it was paid, and should tell the score; I might be mistrusted; -but if I received the mony before he came, then the over-plus went into -my own pocket, which could not be discovered when the chalk was wiped -out. - -In Summer, when people drank in Canns, if my Master were in company (as -oft-times he was invited by Guests to drink with them) we had a Can with -a false bottom that held not above a quarter of a pint, which in the -delivery of them I always so ordered as that Can came to his hands, -which he would drink off leisurely, and then turning the bottom upwards, -it past undiscerned, saving thereby much beer in a day, keeping himself -sober to drink in other companies. - -In Winter for morning-draughts we furnished our Guests with _Gravesend_ -toasts, which is bread toasted over night, our plenty of Guests not -permitting us to do it in the morning; if we put any of them into drink -before our Guests (as sometimes we were forced to do) we would be sure -to warm the beer or ale before-hand, and in putting in the toast cry -siz, although it were as cold as a stone. - -But my Master and I were not all the cozeners that belonged to the Inn, -the Hostler claimed as great a share in that mistery as we. His chief -cunning consisted in tallowing Horse-teeth that they should eat no hay; -or when a Gentleman gave his Horse oats, no sooner was his back turn’d, -but he would steal them half away, telling the Gentleman, _his Horse -must needs travel well he was so quick at his meat_. If a Gentleman’s -saddle were any thing torn he would be sure to make it so bad that he -could not ride any further with it without mending, as also to spoyle -the shoes on the Horses feet, that he must be forced to have new ones, -for which he had pensions from the Smith and the Sadler. - -Nor must I here forget the Chamberlain, who deserved to be rancked with -the foremost for Roguery; he was a sly thief, and used to cheat Guests -with foul sheets, pretending them to be clean, when as they had been -lain in three or four times; and then a little water strowed on them, -and foulded up and prest, made them seem as if new washt. He was a very -diligent observer of Gentlemens Cloakbags, whether they had good silver -linings in them or no, which if he found to be ponderous, his next care -was to inquire what Country-men they were, which way they travelled, and -the like, which having found, he gave intelligence accordingly to a Gang -of Highway men, with whom he was in continual pay. - -These were the Servants that belonged to this Inn, such a parcel of -Canary-birds as well deserved to look through a Hempen Casement at the -three corner’d tenement in the high-way betwixt _London_ and -_Paddington_. Were not those Guests well blest think ye, which hapned in -such a place where none but knaves, thieves, and cheaters were their -attendants? Now you cannot but imagine that the Master of such Servants -was well worthy of his place, I shall therefore only give you a brief -character of the Host himself, and so proceed on in my discourse. - -He seemed by his bulk to be of the race of the old Gyants, and though -his belly were not so big as the tun at _Heidleburg_, yet a flaggon of -beer therein seemed no more than a man in _Pauls_. He commanded with as -much imperiousness as if he were the great _Cham_ of _Tartaria_, and had -an excellent faculty to strut along the streets with the top of his -staff bobbing against his lips, he could call the young wenches whores -with a great grace; and when he took tobacco, his mouth vented smoak -like the funnel of a Chimney. He much blamed the English for affecting -to drink wine, preferring beer and ale before all forraign liquors -whatsoever. To show his loving nature he would drink with all companies, -and would toss off a _Cann_ with celerity and dexterity. He would not be -jealous though he saw another man kissing his wife, knowing such her -familiarity to be the greatest Load-stone that attracted Guests to his -house, in summe, his forenoons work was to scoope in beer by the Quart, -and the most part of the afternoon to spend in sleeping. - -In this house I wasted away my time nigh three quarters of a year, but -then a sad accident befel my Master, which left me again to shift for my -self; he had belike been dabling in private with _Prudence_, one of the -maids belonging to the house, I know not what the business was, but she -looked so bigly on him that he could not endure her sight, and therefore -to avoid it, he privately put off his Cellar to another, and having -received his money, marched off _incognito_, leaving me to the wide -world; for this new Tapster having a boy of his own, dismissed me to -shift for my self. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. X. - -_The cheats of Cookes, a story of the Spirit in the Buttery, he steals a - silver Bowl, the Cozenages of Astrologers; the death of his Father - being killed in a drunken brangling._ - - -Long I was not without a Master, being entertayned into a Cooks service, -of which I rejoyced not a little, being in good hope however the world -went, that I should not be starved in a Cookes shop, one extraordinary -priviledge I had by living in this service; for if the old proverb be -true, _that the nearer the bone, the sweeter the flesh_, then I always -ate of the sweetest, my diet being to pick the bones that came off of -Gentlemens Tables. During the time that I lived here, although I had -been a young wench, I should not needed to have feared being troubled -with the Green-sickness, running up and down stairs so many score times -in a day would have cured me of that malady; those who had seen my -nimbleness would have absolutely judged that my shooes were made of -cork, I was as light heel’d as she who hath made her Husband Cuckold -seven and twenty times over. My Master drave a great trade, not onely in -boil’d meat and roast meat, but also in baking small pies, which the -women cryed up and down the streets for him. Every Friday I observed we -had brought in a Porters basket full or two of pieces of raw meat, which -though me thought they smelt very unsavory, yet were they made use of, -some minced, others pepper’d and salted, and put into pies, ere the week -went about they all marcht off, I wondered for a great while from whence -this meat came, at last I was informed by one of the Prentices, that it -was such pieces as were cut off of the stinking raw hides, that were -brought into _Leaden-hall_ to sell there on Fridays; bless me thought I, -what deceit is here! then did I think on the old Proverb, _that the -blind eats many a fly_. No marvel that sicknesses are so rife, since -such unwholsome food must needs introduce them. Now because those pieces -of meat were lean and dry, they used to mix with them such fat pieces of -meat as Gentlemen left, adding thereto some dripping, and such like -stuff, which altogether made a gallant hodg-podg for hungry stomacks. - -To roast meat twice over is so commonly now used amongst most Cooks, -that I think I shall not need to mention this as a rarity in my Master; -and yet would not that, nor what I mentioned before, nor his buying of -Carrion, such meat as would have dyed alone had it not been killed, -being diseased or maimed, and selling it for good; all this (I say) -would not do, notwithstanding all his great pains, but still he went -backwards in the world; which puts me in mind of a story that I have -heard some while ago, concerning an evil spirit that haunts the houses -of such persons who use unconscionable wayes whereby to grow rich, which -though it be nothing as concerning my life, yet I think it not amiss to -relate the same, as being not altogether impertinent to our purpose. - -In the City of _Bristol_ (a place which may compare with the choicest of -_England_ for the fairness of the buildings, and richness of trading) -within the memory of our Fathers, there lived a young man named -_Francisco_, who although prentice to a Baker, yet when his time came -out, set up the trade of a Cook. This young man was very desirous to -gain a great estate quickly, and so impatient he was of being rich on a -sudden, that he resolved to leave no means unattempted which should lye -in his way whereby he might effect his desire, for so he might gain, he -stood not upon what means whereby he might doe it; bad infected meat he -sold for good, nickt his Canns, froatht his Jugs, scored up two flaggons -for one, yea what not? but all his endeavours arrived not to that height -which he expected, for notwithstanding he went forward in trading, doe -what he could he went backwards in thriving. This _Francisco_ had a -Priest to his Uncle, that lived about some twenty miles off him, who had -bestowed some small matter on him when his time came out whereby to set -him up, and two years being now expired, he repaired to his Nephew to -see how fortune had favor’d him, and whether he had made any improvement -of that little he had given him. The Nephew entertained him kindly, and -feasted him royally, but when his Uncle asked him how the world went -with him, he could not chuse but sigh, telling him what endeavours he -had used whereby to encrease his estate, but that all proved fruitless. -Ah Cozen (said the old man) come along with me, and I will show you the -thief that steals away all your gains, and thereupon taking him by the -hand he lead him into the Cellar, where when they were come, they beheld -a big fellow with a paunch like a tun, his eyes strutting out with -fatness, his thighes like to mill-posts, so unweildy that he could -hardly go; there they saw him gurmandizing on the cold meat that was -left, devouring more in a minute then six hungry plough-men could doe in -half an hour; after he had so eaten, he takes a flaggon in his hand, and -of the best beer, swallows down five or six of them full one after -another, which being done he vanisht away; this Cousin (said the Priest) -is _the Spirit of the Buttery_, who so long as you use unconscionable -wayes by cheating of people, hath power over what you have, which he -will so invisibly devour, that do what you can for the gaining of an -estate, it is but all in vain; and therefore if you intend to thrive, -you must take a clean contrary course to what you have done, and by -dealing honestly, there is no question but a blessing will follow upon -your endeavours. - -The young man promised very faithfully to do according to his Uncles -directions, who thereupon returned home again: accordingly when his -Uncle was gone, he began to work a thorow reformation, bought of the -best meat, sold good pennyworths, filled his flaggons, scored right, and -dealt justly in all his acting, doing this, he quickly begins to thrive -in the world, grows rich, purchases house and land, and hath a great -stock by him besides; in so much that his wealth being taken notice of, -he was soon after chosen one of the Aldermen of the City. His Uncle -afterwards comes again to visit him, to whom he relates his change of -condition, and how God had blessed him with a plentifull estate. Now -Cousin (said the old Priest) let us again visit your Cellar; when they -came there, they beheld a thin, lean, meager fac’d fellow, one that -seemed more like an Anatomy than a man; his ribs appeared through his -cloaths, his eyes were sunck into his head, his cheeks look’d like to -shriveld parchment, and his legs (which were no bigger than cat-sticks -that boys use at trap-ball) were so weak as would hardly support his -body. He went to a platter of cold meat, but had not strength enough to -lift it up to his head; afterwards he assayed to draw some beer, but -could not pull the tap out of the fasset, so that seeing his endeavours -were in vain, with a deep sigh he vanisht away. Now Nephew (said the old -Priest) you may plainly perceive what it was that hinder’d you from -thriving before and therefore now since you are thoroughly instructed -whereby to be rich, I shall take my leave of you, wishing with all my -heart that all of your profession would leave off their cheating and -couzening tricks, and take the same course of life whereby to thrive as -you have done. - -Now, said he, what think you of this discourse? is this quiet besides -the matter or no? in truth (quoth I), I think it is very pertinent to -the purpose, and I wish all tradesmen would follow the example, for when -they have done all they can, they will finde in the end that honesty is -the best policy, and to deal justly the high-way to grow rich: the best -bed-fellow to sleep with is a good conscience, and well doing (were -there no reward for it in the world to come) yet were it a sufficient -recompence in it self. But leaving this discourse, as that which is -rather to be wished for, than ascertained to be practised in this evil -age of ours: let me entreat you to proceed on in the discourse of your -life, as a thing which I much desire to hear. - -That shall I gladly do, said he. Know then that after I had been at this -Cooks some small space of time, my Father returned home from being a -Soldier, in that voyage he was prest out as I told you of before; now -though he did not go out full, he returned home more empty than he went -out; without cloaths, and without money to buy any; and which was worst -so pinched with hunger, that he looked like a scare-crow, or one newly -risen from the dead. It grieved my heart to see him in this condition, -but how to remedy it I did not know; some little money I had which was -left of that I snipt in the Tapsters service, which I very freely -bestowed upon him, but alas that was gone as soon almost as received, -and I having no more to supply him, he asked me if we had no plate, that -went about the house? I told him we had; then (said he) to furnish me, -you must at such time as your house is full of Guests, upon their going -away convey a silver bowl into a secure place, which you may afterwards -deliver for me to one whom I will send for that purpose, for I will not -come to your house my self, because there shall be no suspition of me; I -promised him to do as he bid me, appointing him the time when he should -send the man, which was the next day; accordingly he came and I -deliver’d him a large silver bowl, which he carried cleverly away. At -night when my Master came to lock up his plate, the best bowl was -missing, which put all the house into disorder; my Master swore, my -Mistress scolded, the Servants grumbled, but who to blame not any one -could tell; onely the maid said she saw it in my hand that afternoon, -for which I wisht her tongue in a cleft stick, but stoutly denyed that I -had seen it that day: indeed my Master had a great conceit of my honesty -or else her bawling might have discover’d me, for had they charg’d me -with it strongly, I should not have had the impudence to have stood out -in the denyal of it, having that within me which strongly checked me for -doing it. But after some small inquisition about it, it was generally -agreed that some of the Guests had stollen it away; then next was -inquiry made what several companies we had that day, and which of them -was the most to be suspected; but the more they thought, the worse they -were satisfied, not one appearing more probable than another; wherefore -it was agreed by a general consent, that the next morning the Maid and I -should go to a cunning _Astrologer_ about it, one who was cryed up for -art to be little inferior to _Fryer Bacon_, for though he could not make -a brazenhead to speak, yet he had such a brazen face of his own, as -could out-face the Devil himself for lying. - -I was not afraid to go, though I knew my own guilt, because I always -judged that Art to be a meer cheat, and though they lay their nets very -plausibly to take the people; yet they seldome catch any but owls and -wood-cocks. Knocking at the door, Master _Astrologer_ came out unto us, -so wrapped up in his Purple Gown, that you could scarcely see e'r an -honest limb of him; he had on his head a black cap with a white one -under it, which was turned up some part over the black one, that it -looked like a black Jack tipt with silver. After we had discovered our -business unto him, he told us the price of his art was a shilling -whether he found out the thief or no; we knew it was in vain for us to -contend with him, and therefore we very freely gave it him, by which he -perceived that the stars were very auspitious to him in that hour, or -else (for ought I know) he might have gone without his mornings-draught. -When he had received our money he very formally set himself down in a -Chair, having a peice of white paper before him, and then taking a pen -in his hand, he made thereon several Triangles and Quadrangles, with -other Crotchets and Whimsies, which he called the twelve Houses. Jupiter -_said he being Lord of the Ascendent, signifies good luck for the -gaining your Cup agen, did not_ Mars _interpose with an evil aspect -towards_ Mercury. _Now_ Venus _being on the fiery Trigon, denotes the -party that had it lives either East or West; and_ Saturn _being -Retrograde, and in the Cusp of_ Taurus, _it must needs be that it is -hidden under ground either North or South._ Then asked he us if there -were not a red hair’d man there that day? we told him no, nor a black -hair’d man neither said he? we still answer’d no; nor was there not -(said he) a brown hair’d man there, with grey Cloaths, not very tall, -nor very low? we told him yes; then asked he us if we knew him or no? we -answered no. _The_ Sun _saith he being ill posited in the eleventh -House, and_ Mercury _in Trine with_ Virgo _it was without all doubt a -brown hair’d man that had your bowl._ Then asked I him if it might not -be a woman as well as a man? this put him something to his trumps; but -when the Maid said that could not be, for there was never a strange -woman there all that day, he grew bold and answer’d, no; _for_ Venus -said he _being weak in reception with_ Gemini, _and the_ Moon _in her -detriment, both Feminine Planets, does plainly tell that it was a man, -and one betwixt forty and fifty years of age_. Upon my life said the -Maid, I saw the party that had it, he was a curld pated fellow, with a -whitish Cloak and a sad coloured suit, about thirty years of age, he -dined in the half Moon, and had six penny worth of roast beef to his -dinner; but if ever I see the Rogue agen, ile teach him to steal bowls -with a murrain to him. I could not chuse but laugh to my self at the -wenches confidence, and the cheat of the Astrologer, and to think how -poor silly people are cozened by these Jugling Artists, for no better -term can I give them, as believing no truth at all in their prædictions; -for let me ask them this question, whether the Stars do compel or only -encline? if they say they compel, they speak little less than blasphemy, -by ascribing too much to Nature, and derogating from the Deity. If they -only encline, then what sure ground-work can there be for what they say, -when their conjectures are but only probable? And for their Doctrine of -nativities, that if a man be born under such a Planet, his destiny will -be so and so, and he will come to such an end; we see oft-times that in -a battel, a Canon bullet kills five or six at one instant, who no doubt -were born under several Planets, and yet come all to one fate; or if -they say it is possible so many might be born under one and the self -same Planet and aspects; yet let me go further with them; we have known -battels at Sea, when by an unhappy shot a Ship hath sunk in an instant, -with six or seven hundred men in her, who have all been drowned in the -deep. Will they say these were all born under one Planet? verily if they -should so say, I should not believe them; therefore I may say of our -Astrologers as Cato said of the _Aruspices of Rome_ in his time, that -_he wondred how one of them could forbear to laugh, when he met with any -of his fellows, to see how they deceived men, and made a great number of -simple ones in the City_. But I tire your patience with this digression, -for I expect not my words will work any Reformation in them, seeing they -may say with _Demetrius_ in the Acts of the Apostles, _that by this -Craft they get their wealth_. - -To return therefore where we left, having taken leave of the Astrologer, -away we went home agen, fraught with a Sackful of news to tell our -Master. No sooner were we within doors, but the Maid set her clack -agoing; _Master_ (said she) _the Cunning man hath told us exactly who it -was that stole your bowl, he hath described him fully from top to toe, -not so much as his very shoostrings but he told us of what colour they -were of, his hat, his hair, his beard, his doublet, breaches, hose, not -one thing that he omitted. I served the Rogue that stole it with -Roast-beef my self, the Devil choak him with it, for I think silver will -not; but if ever he comes here again, or that I meet him in the streets, -ile serve him such a trick as shall make him wish he had never drank out -of any thing in his life but a wooden dish._ I said nothing all this -while, and though I knew she lied most abominably in what the Astrologer -said, yet I confirmed her speeches, hoping this would forever take away -suspition from me of being culpable, only I thought with my self if that -party she imagined to have it should come again to the House, what a -coil she would make with him; but whether she forgot his Physiognomy, or -that the man never came there agen, I never after that heard any more of -the matter. - -In the mean time my father had disposed of the purchased prize, bought -him an old suit with some part of the mony, and ranted it in the -ale-house with the rest of it, for what is thus gotten over the Devils -back is for the most part spent under his belly. At last his sinful life -had a Tragical conclusion, for one of his Comrades and he being fudling -together, they chanced to fall out, and from words proceeded to blows, -where my father recieved such a knock on his pate with a flaggon, that -though it killed him not out-right, yet he survived not long after; -making his end answerable to his life: for as he led a troublesome life -all the dayes he lived, so he put the Parish to some trouble at his -death, who were forced to be at the charge of burying him. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XI. - -_The abuses of Nurses, and keepers of sick people, his Master dyeth, the - knavery of his Executor both in his trade and office: he lives with a - Locksmith, the knavery of that trade._ - - -I was the less grieved for the death of my father, knowing, if he had -lived, he would have brought me to the Gallows, for he would have been -always in want, and urging me to supply him, which I could not do any -other wayes than by theft; but that now he was dead I resolved quite to -give over the practice of it, for fear in the end, it should bring me to -look through a hempen casement. And now I bent all my endeavours to -please my Master, knowing I had few friends to rely upon; I was up with -the first, and down with the last, and refused no work I was set unto, -and I found the benefit of my diligence at last, for it pleased God to -visit our family with the Pestilence, which in a weeks space, swept away -all the whole Houshold but my Master and I. In this weeks time I -observed the abuses and cheats of Nurses and Keepers, such who look to -people who are visited with the sickness. Two of these Jades we had in -our house, who when my mistris lay distracted with the distemper, took -away her keys, and ransackt her Trunks, from whence they took a purse -full of money, most of it gold, which she had gathered unknown to my -Master, intending to keep it for her further need, (or as we say) -against a rainy day. Thus these Jades convey’d away together with a -great deal of the best linnen in the house, which was done by the help -of the watch-man that guarded the door, who was son-in-law to one of the -Queans, and now that my Master might not discover their theft, they sent -her of an errant to her long home, by giving her drinks and other slops, -quite contrary to what the Physicians prescribed, by the same way they -dispatch’d the maid, and the Prentices, with a little Girle, the only -Child my Master had; and now was none remaining but my Master and I, -whom they intended should have followed after the rest, then they might -have plundered without controul; but I seeing how soon my fellows were -gone, and observing that they all dy’d presently after they had received -any of their slops, would have nothing to do with them, perswading my -Master to do the like, affirming it even before their faces, that they -were the persons that had kill’d my Mistriss and the rest, and would if -let alone, make a hand of us too. But these impudent Jades hearing me -begin to discover their villanies, would have perswaded my Master that I -was also infected, and that it had already taken my brain, which caused -me to talk so idly, and so began to seize upon me, intending to have -ty’d me into a bed, which if they had done I should never have come out -of it alive, but my Master interposing bid them let me alone, for he -himself was of the same mind with me. These bold Queans hearing him say -so, one of them flew at him; you old dotard said she, do you begin to -talke idely too, we must tame you yfaith, & so attempted to pull him -down, whilst the other was as busie with me: my Master and I strugling -with them what we could: but perceiving them to be too hard for us (for -they were two stout Mastiff Queans) we got to the window and cryed as -loud as we could, and thereby gathered a great many people together to -know what was the matter, to whom we related the great danger we were in -of being murdered by the two women that were with us, desiring by all -means, that we might be rid of them, they being the greatest plague we -were infected withal at the present, and whom we dreaded as much as -death it self; Amongst others that came (alarm’d by this outcry) was a -Shoomaker that lived not far off who was near of kin to my Master, and -thought himself no mean fellow, he being at that time Overseer of the -poor, this man kept a great bustle, commanding the door to be broken -open, which being done with as much imperiousness as a Countrey Justice -domineers over a hedge-breaker, he commands the two women to depart out -of the house, which they (being conscious of a self guilt) accordingly -did, to the no little joy of my Master and me, who fear’d we should have -perished under their merciless hands. - -Being rid of these two Harpyes, I was more than double diligent towards -my Master, well hopeing that Death with his beesom would sweep him away -also, which I judged the rather could come to pass, because the thred of -his life was spun out to a far greater length than mine, not at all -considering, that the Pestilence makes no difference betwixt age and -youth; or if it doth, sooner seizes upon youth than age, as having more -matter to work upon. But I was so confident that my Master would die, -and that I should live, that I would rather perform all offices towards -him, than to admit of a partner to plunder the House with me when he was -dead. But three dayes being passed, and no alteration at all appearing -in him, I began then to alter my opinion, and feared he would escape and -not have it at all; and therefore I began to cast my wits about, and -consider with my self, what I had best to do; now I knew conceit would -do much with him, and therefore I first begun to tell him, that he -looked very ill all of a sudden, asking if he felt no alteration in his -body? which at first he said, no; but afterwards upon my perswasions -that he must needs be sick, he soon grew conceited that he was so -indeed, in so much, that at last I told him, that he had the perfect -symptoms of a dying man upon him; those words struck him to the very -heart, that without further delay he went to the window, called for a -Porter, and sent him for a Shoomaker I spake of before, to come to him -presently, and bring a Scrivener along with him. I asked him what he -would do with a Scrivener? but when he told me it was to make his will, -I was ready to swound, fearing he would take an inventory of his goods -also, and so hinder my pelfering when he was dead, for I was now fully -minded to theive from him what I could, notwithstanding my resolution -but a little before to leave it off, I feared to be known for stealing -the silver bowl: so hard it is for those that are principled in -wickedness, to leave off that vice they have been accustomed unto; -however I praised him for his care therein, that he would settle his -mind as to outward affairs, they might be no hindrance to his more pious -thoughts, which now should be bent altogether to Heaven-wards. - -Scarce had I made an end of praising his good intentions, but that the -Shoomaker and the Scrivener were come, to whom out of the window, he -declared his mind for the disposing of his estate. First, he commended -his Soul unto Heaven, and his Body to Earth, which I wished had been -racked up in it before the Scrivener came. Next (said he) for the good -and faithful service he hath done me, I bequeath to my Boy _Gregory_ -(for that is my name) the sum of twenty pounds, whereof ten pound to be -bestowed on him in Schooling,the other ten pound to buy him Cloathes, -and put him out to Apprentice to some Handy-craft Trade. I hearing my -Master to say this, could not but reflect upon my monstrous ingratitude -that I should go to kill him that was so kind to me, and had so much -care for my future livelihood; but covetousness cancels all obligations, -and therefore is well termed the Spring head of all ungodliness. Next -(said he) I bequeath to the poor of the Parish wherein I live, the sum -of five pounds, three pound thereof to be laid out on Cloaths for them, -to make them apparel, and bestowed on such as my Executor shall see most -needful; and the other forty shillings to be laid out in bread for them, -and to be distributed the next four Sundayes after my decease, each -Sunday alike till it be out. The rest of his estate he gave unto the -Shoomaker. whom he made his full and sole Executor, giving him a great -charge to be careful of me, and so having subscribed and sealed it, he -betook him to his bed, as prepared to die; and free leave he had to go -both of me and the Shoomaker also. - -To hasten him on the more, I perswaded him to sweat, which he was -willing to do; so I covered him with as many Clothes as he was able to -bear, and being in a violent sweat, he called for some strong waters; -whereupon I went to the Pump and filled him a pint of such sober liquor -as that yielded, and brought it to him; which having tasted, he asked me -what I had brought him? I told him it was excellent good _white -anny-seed_, he said, it tasted like fair water; I told him, that was -only the badness of his Pallet which could not distinguish any thing; -truly (said he) it tasteth so small, that I think you may leave the word -_anny seed_ out, and call it only _white-water_. Yet notwithstanding -this he found such fault, his parching thirst caused him to drink it all -off, which gave such a sudden chill to his blood, that what with that -and some other slops that I gave him, in three days time he turned up -his heels and dyed. - -No sooner was his breath out of his body, but I began to put in -execution what before I had intended; and first I examined his pockets, -wherein I found the sum of fourteen shillings and nine pence; eleven -shillings whereof I took, leaving some, that I might not be suspected to -have taken any, but this was nothing to what I thought to find in his -Trunck, which I opened with an expectation to have mine eyes blest with -the sight of store of white and yellow pieces, but the clouds dropped no -such rain, the Trunk courted not me as _Jupiter_ did _Diana_ with a -golden showre; some plate was in it, some Bonds and other writings, but -no money. This was a shrew’d cooling card to my high hopes, which -promised me Mountains, and performed not mole-hills; for as for the -plate the Executor knew of each piece in the house, and Bills and Bonds -signified no more to me, than meat to an hungry man which he might see -but not come at; wherefore seeing it would be no better, I armed my self -with patience, considering I had not lost by his death, he having given -me twenty pound for the bringing me up to some learning and putting me -out Apprentice, by which I hoped to be sufficiently able to live in the -World; and therefore having secured the eleven shillings in the Coller -of my doublet (mistrusting my pockets might be searched) I called for a -messenger, and sent the Executor word of his death, not bidding him to -have a care of frighting him in the delivery of his message, for I did -not think the sudden news of his death would make him to break his heart -with sorrow, there was less fear in that, than of a Usurer undoing a -young Heir, when he once gets him into bonds. He having received the -news, made no long tarriance before he came to me, bringing a couple of -old women along with him to search the dead corps, that an account might -be given what he dyed of, which is a thing that (you know) is usual. But -before I proceed any further (having occasion here to speak of these -searchers) give me leave to mention some abuses and cheats which I have -observed to be practised by them. - -They are indeed very necessary, especially in great Cities, that an -account may be given of what diseases people die of, and that men may -not have their lives shortned by violence, which appearing after their -deaths, may be by them discovered; but these women have their _Cheats_ -too, for notwithstanding they are sworn to give a true information to -the Parish Clarks, yet money can so blind their eyes, that if a man be -poysoned, they can bring it in that he died of the _French-Pox_; and -though a house be visited with the sickness, yet if the Master thereof -be unwilling to be shut up for loosing his trading, if he do but greaze -them in the fist with some money, they will make the Pestilence to be -surfeit, and the spotted feaver (which is little inferiour to the -Plague) the Swine-pox, and sometimes the Meazles; nay once I know two of -these Searchers that for money brought it in that the party who had the -spotted feaver, dyed of nothing else but the tooth-ach: Thus you see -that it is an undeniable maxime, that there is _Knavery in all trades_, -people being now grown so villanous in their practises, that they make -the very dead to be accessary to their Cheats. - -But to return to my story: The Shoomaker standing in the street, whilest -the women came in, called to me, and bid me, if any of the Truncks were -open, to lock them up, and throw the keys down to him; which I -accordingly did, the fear of loosing his Mammon making him to dispence -with any danger that might accrew to him by taking the keys. That night -was my old Master buried, and a fortnight after (the Bedding and -Cloathes being aired in the mean time, and I continuing sound) I was -removed to his house, where I took special notice of his great care in -performing my Masters will, and first for the three pounds that was -given to buy the poor Cloathes, he bestowed the same on two suits for -his own Boys, proving it to be the will of the dead it should be so; for -(said he) they are poor who are in want, and his sons wanting Clothes, -therefore they were to be reckoned in the number of the poor, and policy -bids us this, always to provide for our own poor first. Then for the -bread he ordered with the Baker so, that for every ten dozen, he would -have a twelve penny loaf and yet were they made fifteen to the dozen, -which over-plus above twelve he also took to himself, so that the penny -loaves shrunk to the bigness of half penny ones, and only for the name -there was no difference. I seeing how he had dealt by the poor, thought -with my self that my Legacy would shrink also like Northern Cloath in -the wetting, and my twenty pound, come to twenty shillings; but whilst I -had cause for my self, I would not complain of his dealing by others, -and therefore expected the event with patience. - -Soon after I was set to School with a fellow that went in black -Cloathes, and therefore taken for a man of learning because so habited; -this man and his Schollars were both of one mind, for he cared not how -little he taught them for their money, and they cared not how little -they learned for it; but I who had no friends to rely on for bestowing -any thing upon me afterwards, resolved not to neglect opportunity, but -to gain what learning I could, thinking it might stand me in great stead -another day, and therefore I so plyed my book, that in a short time I -could read English very perfectly, and had some skill in writing and -casting accounts. - -During this time that I went to School, I plyed not my book so -altogether, but that I observed some practices of the Shoomaker, both in -his trade and in his office; and first for his trade, I saw he used two -sorts of leather, one whereof was called mens leather, which was strong, -fast, and would last well; the other he called womans leather, which was -not half tanned, and would scarce last ten miles going; this last sort -of leather (because it was cheap) he used most, especially in womens -shooes, and the inner soals of mens: and sometimes I observed that if -the inner soals were too little, he would slit them in the middle to -make them appear on both sides, and at other times with his teeth he -would stretch his leather, as for gain he would stretch his Conscience. -Then for his office, for the bread that was given to the poor at the -Church on Sundayes, he had a weekly fee from the Baker for his custom; -and for other gifts that were to be distributed (as there was some -Quarterly) that poor man that received them, must either do a dayes work -gratis for him, or else present him with some gift worth half of what he -was to receive, or else he was sure to go without it; so that in respect -of his office, these verses of _Withers_ were very applicable unto him, - - _The poor’s neglector, O I pardon crave, - Collector I should say, may play the knave, - The fool I would have said, but chuse you whether - He may be both, and so he may be neither._ - -But before I had been at School long, my Guardian told me, the ten pound -was out for my board (for I paid a Roast-meat price for my diet, -although I fed most commonly on bread and cheese) and therefore I must -prepare to go to Prentice; I thought it was in vain to contend with him, -and therefore bid him provide me a Master as soon as he would, for I was -willing I told him to go. He quickly heard of one (for bad Masters are -as easie to be found as bad servants) one that was a true -_Bacchanalian_, a Son of _Vulcan_, by profession a Lock-smith, what the -Executor was to give with me I know not, but thither I went some few -dayes upon liking; and indeed it was but a few dayes I was there in all, -for there was found _Knavery in that Trade_ as well as others. My new -Master had belike driven an old trade with pick-pockets, house-breakers, -and such kinde of people whom he furnished with store of pick-locks, and -instruments to break open Shop-doors and windows; he also drave a great -trade with thievish Prentices, for false keys for their Masters -counting-houses and Truncks, they bringing him the print of them either -in Wax or Clay, with some of which he was sharers in their purchase. He -had also his Emissaries abroad, which would steal Iron bars from -Cellar-windows, and sometimes fetch a short jaunt into the Countrey, and -steal the Coulters and Shares from the Ploughs, as also hooks and hinges -from Gates, which he bought for a small price, and used to work them out -in the night for fear of discovery, yet all would not do, wicked actions -have bad endings; one of these Prentices who had made use of him, and -thereby much wronged his Master, spending that money riotously which he -had got naughtily, his excess brought him to a surfeit that occasioned -his end, when upon his death-bed, reflecting on his former vitious -practises, he detected my Master, who was thereupon apprehended and -carried before a Justice of the Peace, that sent him to _Newgate_; how -he sped I know not, but if he had his deserts, I am sure he could not -scape hanging. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XII. - -_He is bound Prentice to a Taylor, the Knavery of that trade, his Master - of a stitch, he is turn’d over to a Baker, who misusing him he runeth - away._ - - -My next Master forsooth was a Taylor, a dapper fellow, to whom the -Shoomaker (because he would be sure to be rid of me) bound me Prentice -the first day I went to him, after I had been there a little while, -whether it be the nature of the trade, or what it was I know not, but -all my mind ran upon penny-loaves and pudding-pies; & whereas before I -was more given to drink than to eat, now my whole appetite was for -feeding. If I went by a Bakers shop, oh how would I cast mine eyes upon -the penny loaves, wishing my belly a Cupboard to contain such precious -jewels; neither could it sink into my faith, that there was any trade in -the world comparable to a Bakers, but that which made me the more -hungry, I conceive was that we were much pinched in our diet; for my -Master made us observe more fasting days, then were set down in the -Kallender, and then with a counterfeit zeal he would preach a long -Lecture of sobriety unto his Prentices, not that he had any Religion in -him (for at another mans table he would gurmandize like an Epicure) but -to save victuals; and when we fell short at meals (as we oftentimes did) -he would put us off with an old Proverb, that _many a sack is tied up -before it be full_, for his other qualifications and endowments, take a -brief view in this short but true character of him. - -He was such another as Sir _Thomas Overbury_ speaks of, a creature made -up of shreds that were pared off from _Adam_ when he was rough cast. His -chiefest care was, how to cloath other mens backs, and feed his own -belly; how to make them fine, and himself fat, against Christmas, -Easter, or Whitsuntide; he was a man of some repute, but most time else -like a thick Cloak in Summer, hang’d behind the door. His offensive and -defensive weapons, were only a needle and a thimble; with the first he -murdered many _Egyptian_ vermine, and the last he made a Gauntlet for -the top of his middle finger, which at other times jingling in his -pocket with his bodkin, made the Ale-wife to think he had mony in his -pocket, which caused oft-times a flagon to be scored up behind the door. -His chief upholder was the sin of pride, a new fashion being to him like -the Term to a Lawyer; to gain which he used to frequent those Churches -and places where Gallants most resorted, when on a sudden the Mechanicks -wifes and kitchen maids gowns came trowling in to be new altered, for -_out of the fashion, out of the world_. He differ’d altogether from God, -for with him the best pieces were still marked out for damnation, and -without hope of recovery cast down into Hell, for though he had many -bottoms, yet his conscience was bottomless. Of all weapons he most -affected the long Bill, and he who paid him but one half, he would be -sure to be no looser by him. - -An ancient Gentleman one day brought a suit of Cloaths to our Shop to be -made, who that he might have them the warmer, had bought two yards of -Bayes to cotton his breeches in the inner-side; my Master thought that -was too good for such an use, and therefore took it to himself, and -supplyed the place with old painting Cloath. It happened afterwards the -Gentleman wearing those Cloaths, going to _Islington_, as he went over a -stile, a snag or cleft of the same took hold of his Breeches and rent a -great slash or gap in them, that quite discover’d my Masters theft; for -right against the hole, was the picture of a Devil with a muck-fork in -his hand, which made the gentleman to admire how the Devil he should -come there; searching further he found more of his fellows, and all of -them with muck-forks in their hands, tormenting of _Dives_ in the -flames; this put him in a great rage, to consider how that by the -knavery of the Taylor, he should carry _Hell-fire_ in his Breech; -ripping the other Slop, there was the _Prodigal_ on Horse-back, his -journy into a far Country, Hawks and his Whores, his feeding husks with -Swine, with his returning to his Father, and the killing the fatted -Calf, wherefore in great rage he came to my Master, calling him knave, -thief, and a great many other names, such as came first to his tongues -end; my Master desired him to be quiet, told him it was stole off his -Shop-board, but for his part, he wish’d if he had it that he might find -it in the _Hell_, meaning the _Hell_ under his Shop-board, which was the -receptacle for all stoln goods. - -Now those pieces which were condemned to this _Hell_, were termed -Cabadge, and we never made any Cloaths either for men or women, in which -he snipt not some pieces from them; sometimes out of a Suit and Cloak, -enough to make a Boy a payer of breeches, or a doublet, and sometimes -enough for breeches and doublet too. Then we drave a trade with the -Sadlers, for peices of Cloaths to make seats for Sadles. The Cabadge of -course Cloath was to make dust-cloaths for the legs of Country -Plough-men, wollen caps, and mittens for old women; all was fish that -came to net. When a Gentleman bought a suit and cloak of good cloath, if -my Master could but perswade four or five more to buy of the same, out -of them all he would steal a suit and cloak for himself. Then for womens -cloaths, the cabadge of cloath of silver, brancht Sattin, and the like, -went for pin-cushions, pin-pillows, womens purses; and if black, -Church-wardens caps. Cabadge of Tabbee, coloured Taffaty and Sarcenet, -for facings of the hands of doublets, _&c_, when we set on gold and -silver lace, we should stretch it so, that in four or five yards we -would get a quarter of a yard, which with old silver buttons and such -like stuff, went for ends of gold and silver; and sometimes in rich -laces we would rub them so on our knees, that in eight or nine ounces, -half an ounce would come off, which went also to the encrease of ends of -gold and silver. - -Now being the Under-Prentice, my chief employment was to run on errands, -so that having thereby an opportunity, I often visited the _Dagger_ in -_Foster-lane_ for pudding-pies, my mouth always either peny loaf or -pudding-pie fashion. Amongst other places that I went to, one of the -chief was a Mercers in _Pater-Noster-row_, from whence my Master -received a small snip for every Gown he helpt him to custom withall. Now -their way of dealing was thus; my master bought the stuff, then the -Mercer was to justifie that it cost him so much a yard, perhaps eight or -ten shillings more in the Gown than it did, for which my Master when he -brought customers to him, was to perswade them to the stuff, avouching -there was not such another penny-worth in the Town, and that he was -confident that he saved little or nothing by it; but only for to gain -their custome; by which you see he who carries a Taylor with him to help -him buy Cloaths, carries a Thief in stead of a Friend, for the Mercer -and Taylor was both agreed, and what the first says, the other will -swear to. Now to hear them muster up the names of their stuffs, would -make you swear they were raysing so many Devils, there’s your -_Parragon_, _Burragon_, _Phillipine_, _Cheny_, _Grogrum_, _Mow-hair_, -_Damasilly_, _Novato_, _Pinckanilly_, _Pinckadino_, _Prunella_, -_Itiliano_, _Castiliano_, _Perpetuana_, _Sempiternum_, _Tamme_, -_Tammet_, _Tammeletto_, and a thousand more besides, such as _Adam_ -never gave names to, being more for pride than for warmth, and rather to -cloath sin, than to cover nakedness. - -But ere I could attain to any perfection in the Trade, my Master dyed of -that which he lived by, _the Stich_, being taken with it as he was -contriving a new fashion for a womans placket, that it should be neither -before, nor behind, nor on either side, but before he could finish his -project he was taken with this _Stich_, so that that invention was -utterly lost thereby: now because he dyed of such a disease, I muster’d -up all my wit and invention together, and made for him this Epitaph. - - _A Taylor in this Grave doth lie, - Who by the_ Stich _did live and die; - Longer his lifes_ thread _might have been, - But death with’s_ sheares _came him between, - Wound up his_ bottom, _bound his feet, - And_ sow’d _him up in’s winding-sheet._ - -My Mistress not continuing the Trade, I was turned over to a Baker, at -which I rejoyced exceedingly, being heartily desirous to be dealing with -Belly-timber, remembring how I was full fed when as I lived before with -the Cook. Here I found the Maxim to be still true, that there is -_knavery in all Trades_, for as my last Master theived from peoples -backs, so this robbed their bellies; and was in one sort worse than a -Taylor, for Taylors commonly filch their Cabadge only from the rich, who -can the better spare it; but a Baker by making his bread lesser than it -should be, stealeth it out of the poor peoples bellies, for doing which -he deserveth the same fate to attend on him as did on _Pharaohs_ Baker, -viz. hanging; or at leastwise to look through an oaken planck, and shew -the people a knaves head. - -He would be sure to be in fee with the Clark of the Market, and -pretended great love to him, though he hated him as his Executioner. By -this meanes he had always timely notice of my _Lord Mayors_ going about, -when he would be sure to have his bread full weight stand at his window; -and if at any time he chanc’d to be catcht, oh how he would repine at -his forc’d charity, to see his bread given away to the poor, hating -Justice it self for the _weigh-scales sake_, though it did the Beggars -as much good as their dinner, to see his basket sent to the prison. - -When we had any stale mouldy bread, such as we could not sell our -selves, or was returned us again by our customers, we used to soak it in -water, and so mould it up again in our dough, which in Summer time at -four days end would roap so, that if you pul’d it in pieces it would -appear as if it were all Cobwebs, which made us always to sell such -bread new. Now what other _Knaveries_ he used in his trade, I was not -there long enough to know them: for because I used to forget to rise -betimes in a morning, my Master would remember me with a good ashen wand -which he always kept in store by him, wherewith he would beat me as your -Sea-men do Stock-fish, in so much that my flesh had on it all the -colours in the Rain-bow, _viz._ black, blew, green, red, yellow, white, -_&c._ above all things in the world I liked not beating, wherefore I -resolved to march off, yet before I went I purposed to be in part -revenged on him for those many blows he had given me. Now so it was that -he lay above stairs, and I below, and when he came down, if he found me -not up and about my business, he would so rib-roast me, that I could -have felt no cold although it had been frosty weather. Against that -morning I intended to be gone, I had parched some pease in the oven, -that they were almost as hard as leaden bullets; them did I strow here -and there upon the stairs against my Masters coming down, and so having -put up my things, and made my self ready, I staid expecting what the -event would be, anon my Master called me at the stairs head, I heard him -very well, but made him no answer, wherefore he supposing I was asleep, -was coming down to give me the bastinado, when treading on the pease his -heels flew up, and down he came tumbling from the top to the bottom, -swearing all the way he was falling, that this damn’d Rogue (meaning me) -intended for to break his neck; I hearing him to thunder so loud, -thought it would lighten upon my Jacket presently, and therefore to -prevent it, I opened the door and shewed him a fair payr of heels, -leaving him sore bruised with his fall, and more vexed that he could not -come at me, to revenge himself of me for the same. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XIII. - -_He serveth a Plaisterer, sheweth some cheats in that Trade, he is even - with the Maid of the House for her sloath, and punishing him; giveth - his Master a fall from the Scaffold, and runneth away from him into - the Country._ - - -I was now grown a good sturdy Lad, and it being then the spring of the -year, I was entertained into a Plaisterers service, I imagined with my -self that there could be no knavery in this trade, but after I had bin -there a while, I found there was a great deal of difference in our -labour when we work't by the day, and when we wrought by the great; in -the one I could not be too quick for my Master, in the other he cared -not how slow; dispatching that in six days in the one, which we would -hardly do in ten days in the other; in the one we minded only our work, -in the other we used to lengthen out the time with discourses of -wenches, foot-ball playing and such like; for so we brought the day to -an end, we cared not so much for our work going forward, seeing our -wages ran parallel with the day, and when that was done, we counted our -money due, whether we earned it or no. In this service I lived like a -Prince to my hearts content, for my Master would not only wink at any -Rogueries that I committed, but also countenance me in the doing of -them. When we wrought upon scaffolds in the street it was a great -pleasure to me to throw the morter upon the heads of young wenches as -they passed by; and at other times with our whiting to bespatter -Gentlemens Cloaks as they walked under us, that they looked as if the -Crow had shit upon them. My Master kept a maid who was none of those -huswifes that use to disturb other peoples sleeps by their early rising; -she would endure three calls in a morning, and when she began to stirre, -she would groan sadly, stretching out her arms and legs, and giving a -two or three ha’s to get upon her breech, where she would sit in her bed -half an hour lacing of her boddice, and throwing of her coats over her -head, so that we were forced to put up the victuals we carried with us -our selves. My Master asked me if I could not invent a way to punish her -sloath? I told him I would do my best endeavor; so that day I got some -Horse-hair and shred it fit for my purpose, telling my Master what I -would do with it; at night when he came home, he sent the maid for two -pots of Ale, when she was gone for it, I took my shred hair, and strowed -the same in her bed betwixt the sheets, which plagued her worse then if -she had had half a peck of six footed vermine to her bedfellows; a good -while she endured it, being exceeding loath to be at the pains of -putting on her Cloaths, for she always accounted the trouble of dressing -and undressing her self to be a great plague inflicted on mortals to -disturb them of their ease, accounting the Birds in a far happier -condition than men, who go to bed and rise with their doublet and -breeches on, and was resolved if she changed her Religion to have turned -_Adamite_, that she might have saved that labour of dressing her self; -but the hair tormented her so abominably, that _nolens volens_ she was -forced to rise, and sit up until the morning, when looking in the sheets -she found the cause of her disquietness; the cunning Jade made no speech -of it at all, but was as pleasant that morning as if she had ailed -nothing all night; which made me to mistrust my art, and think I had not -done my business right. All that day she was busied with her thoughts in -contriving mischief against me, the result whereof was, that she took -the sheets from off her bed and laid them on mine, whereby she paid me -home in my own coyn, and whereof I could not justly complain, seeing -what was sause for a Goose was sauce for a Gander. I had work’d very -hard that day, and would willingly have taken some rest at night, but it -was in vain to think of it, I might almost have lain as well upon pins -and needles as on what I did, I then thought upon the story which is -usually told Boys when they first come to be Prentices concerning their -enroling, that they must be rol’d in a Barrel drove full of nails, with -the points sticking up, and thought this punishment to be little -inferior to that; flesh and blood could not endure it, wherefore I got -up and uncased my bed of the sheets, creeping in betwixt the blanckets -where I lay all night. In the morning the maid asked me how I slept that -night? I told her very well, for my skin was armor of proof against the -biting of fleas, or any other disturbance whatsoever, but though I -carried fair weather in my countenance, my heart boyled in revenge -against her, wherefore that day I went and bought two penny-worth of -Cow-itch, which is a drug of that nature, that where it touches the -flesh, it will make them so scrub seventeen times worse than if they -were plagued with the itch, with this I anointed her sheets in the same -manner as I strowed them with horse-hair before; but if the hair netled, -this fleyed, she had needed to have had _Briarius_ hundred hands to have -scratcht her self at once, for when she came to be a little hot in her -bed, she fared like a mad woman; the more she scratcht the more it -itcht, so that by what she seek't to allay her paine, she encreas’d it: -the going out of her bed would not cure her now, she carried her -distemper along with her, so that knowing not how to ease her self, she -bellowed like a Bull, and made such a quarter, that the whole house was -disturbed with her bellowing. All night she continued thus; in the -morning I began to play upon her, told her that the scratching of her -arse signified we should have butter cheap, and that how ever things -went she would be sure to _Rub_ through with them, but had I not took my -heels, she had so rubbed my ears for it, as would have turned my mirth -into mourning. That day was very fatal to me, and my running from the -maid in the morning, prognosticated I should run from my Master before -night. It so happened that we had some work to do that day at a tavern -in _Thames-street_, the back-side whereof adjoyned to the _Thames_, -which the Vintner would have beautified next to the water-side; now for -to make him a scaffold to work on, he put the ends of two long sticks -out at the window, laying a board over them for him to stand on the -out-side; and on the in-side fastned the end of the one with a cord, but -wanting a cord for the other, he bid me to sit on it, thereby to keep it -from kicking up, thus was all things ordered, my Master gotten up upon -his scaffold, which was just over the water, and I sitting on the end of -the stick; he fell a singing as he was accustomed to do at his work, and -I fell a nodding, being lulled a sleep with his singing; in my sleep I -dreamt that my old Master the Cook was alive again, that I lived with -him, and that our House was full of Guests; by and by some Gentlemen -knocked in the next room, I hearing them, imagined that I was called, -and thereupon cryed out, _Anon, Anon, I come I come Sir_, and thereupon -fell a running, when presently up flew the stick, and down fell my -Master, crying all the way he fell _help, help, I shall be drown’d_, the -noise he made waked me out of my sleep, when looking forth of the -window, I saw my Master floating like a shitle-cock upon the water. I -seeing what had happened, thought more upon saving my self than him, -imagining if he were drowned, that I should be hanged, and therefore -that I might not die the death of a dog, to prevent it, I run away, -leaving my Master to shift for himself, whom though yet I loved well, -and would not have parted from him but for this accident. - -I made great haste in going, and yet knew not whither to go; East, West, -North, or South, all was indifferent to me, for it is impossible he can -be out of his way to whom all ways are alike. _London_ though large and -populous I judged no Coverture for me, I wanting those two great helps -of concealment, mony and friends. The Country therefore I pitcht upon, -invited thereto the more, it being then the merry month of _May_, the -pleasantest time of all the year, the earth having then put on her -richest apparel, the meddow cloathed in green, the fields beautified -with flowers, and the woods adorned with Violets, Cowslips, and -Primroses; the winged Choristers of the Forrest, warbled forth their -ditties very harmoniously, the Lambs friskt and leapt, dancing lavalto’s -on the flowry pastures, and the murmuring stream made a noyse like to a -Chime of Bells, running through their winding _Meanders_. As I walked -thus in the Countrey, encircled with pleasures, and every where having -my eyes satiated with variety of pleasing objects, I thought my self to -be in _Paradise_, and imagined no pleasure in the world comparable to -that of a Country life; Happy, yea thrice happy (thought I) is he who -not playing with his wings in the golden flames of the Court, nor -setting his foot in the busie throngs of the City, nor running up and -down in the intricate mazes of the Law, can be content in the winter to -sit by a Country fire, and in the Summer to lay his head on the green -pillows of the earth. The Country Cottage is neither batter’d down by -the Canon in time of War, nor pester’d with clamorous Suits in time of -peace. The fall of _Cedars_ that tumble from the tops of Kingdoms, the -ruine of _great Houses_, that bury Families in their overthrow, and the -ways of _shipwracks_, that beget even shreiks in the heart of Cities, -never send their terrors thither: that place stands as safe from the -shock of such violent storms, as the _Bay-tree_ does from lightening; -their sleeps are secure from such dangers, and their wakings as pleasant -as golden dreams. In the homely village art thou more safe, than in a -fortified Castle; the stings of _Envy_, nor the bullets of _Treason_ are -never shot through those thin walls: sound healths are drunk out of the -wholesome wooden dish, when the Cup of Gold boyles over with Poyson. -Hast thou a desire to rule? get up to the mountains, and thou shalt see -the greatest trees stand trembling before thee, to do thee _Reverence_, -those mayest thou call thy _Nobles_. Thou shalt have rancks of oak on -each side of thee, which thou maist call thy Guard, thou shalt see -_Willows_ bending at every blast; whom thou maist call thy flatterers: -thou shalt see valleys humbled at thy feet; whom thou maist term thy -slaves. Wouldest thou behold battels? step into the fields, there shalt -thou see excellent combats between the standing Corn and the windes. Art -thou a tyrant? and delightest in the fall of _great ones_? muster then -thy Harvesters together, and down with those proud Summer Lords when -they are at highest. Wouldest thou have _Subsidies_ paid thee? the -_Plough_ sends thee in Corn, the _Meadow_ gives thee her pasture, the -Trees pay thee custome with their fruit, the _Ox_ bestows upon thee his -labor, the _Sheep_ his wooll, the _Cow_ her milk, the _Fowles_ their -Feathers, &c. Doest thou call for _Musick_? no Prince in the world keeps -more skilful musitians, the Birds are thy Consort, and the winde -instruments they play upon yield ten thousand tunes. - -Thus went I on contemplating the Summers pride and the Earths bravery, -and from them both concluded the great felicity of a Country life, as if -the one would never fade, and the other always endure; resolving in my -thoughts never to see _London_ again, being ravished with the delights -of the verdant fields, and enamour’d on the beauties of the Spring, -accounting none truly happy, but he who enjoyed the felicities of a -Country life; Is he addicted to study, Heaven is the Library; the Sun, -Moon and Stars his books to teach him _Astronomy_, that great volume his -_Ephemerides_ out of which he may Calculate predictions of times to -follow; yea in the very clouds are written lessons of _Divinity_ for him -to instruct him in wisdome, the turning over their leaves, teach him the -variation of seasons, & how to dispose his business for all weathers, -who therefore would not consume his youth in such delightfull studies, -that have power in them to keep off old age longer than it would? or -when old age doth come, is able to give it the livelyhood and vigour of -youth? who would not rather sit at the foot of a hill, tending a flock -of sheep, than at the helm of Authority, controuling the stubborn and -unruly multitude? Better it is in the solitary woods and in the wilde -fields, to be a man among _Beasts_, than in the midst of a peopled City, -to be a _Beast_ amongst men. - -As I was thus stricken into admiration of these _beauties_, and wholy -taken up in contemplations of the felicities of an retired life, being -already in my thoughts an absolute Country-man, I being now some miles -distant from the _Metropolitan_ City of our fruitful _Albion_, on a -sudden the welkin began to rore, and send forth terrible peales of -thunder, the serene sky was over-shadowed, and _Ph[oe]bus_ hid his head -behind a cloud, the Heavens began first to weep small tears, afterwards -to pour them in full Rivolets upon the thirsty earth, I had then no -Pent-house to walk under to keep me from the rain, nor was there a red -lattice at every nook and corner (as at _London_) to give me -entertainment; the spreading boughs of the sturdy oak were too feeble to -defend me from being wet; I looked like a drench't Mouse, having never a -dry thread on me; what to do I knew not, money I had but little, friends -none, a stranger both to the place and people, unexperienced in the -world, as in the way where I travelled; the consideration of those -things made me add more moysture to the earth by the salt tears that -trickled from my eyes; to stand still I thought was in vain, so forwards -I went wet without, and dry within, (sorrow they say causeth drowth) at -length I spyed by a corner of a wood a little thatcht Cottage, thither I -went, and found by an old rotten stick that darted out of it, in -imitation of a Sign-post, that it was an Ale-house; this something -revived my drooping spirits, so in I went, to dry my out-side and wet my -in-side, where I found a good fire, and store of company of both sexes -merrily trouling the bowl about, singing of Catches, and smoaking -Tobacco; no sooner was I entered, but one of them drank to me a full -cup, so down I sat amongst them, being all alike free Citizens of the -wide world, the strong Ale soon washed away all sorrow from my heart, -and now that I had a warm fire to sit by, and a house over my head, I -bid a fig for all foul weather. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XIV. - -_He lighteth on a company of_ Canting Beggars, _and is stalled one of - their society, is married to a_ Doxy, _with the manner of their - wedding._ - - -This company that I thus happened into was a _Crew_ of _Canting -Beggars_, Pilgrims of the vast earth, the offspring of _Cain_, vagabonds -and wanderers over the whole world, fit Companions for such who make a -trade for Idleness and Roguery, and these were at this time fit -companions for me, who seeing the merry life they led, resolved to make -one of their company, whereupon (after I had a little more ingratiated -my self amongst them, and taken two or three cups more of _Rum-booz_) I -imparted my inventions to one of the chief of them, telling him that I -was a Prentice who had a curst Master, whose cruelties had caused me to -run away from him, and that what ever fortune might betide me, yet -should not the most necessitous condition I could be plunged into, ever -make me to return to him again, and therefore if I might be admitted -into their society, I should faithfully observe and perform what rules -and orders were imposed upon me. - -He very much applauded me for my resolutions, telling me that to be a -_Beggar_ was to be a _brave man_ since it was now in fashion for brave -men to beg. Do not we (said he) come all into the world like arrant -_Beggars_, without a rag upon us; and do not we all go out of the world -like _Beggars_, without any thing saving only an old sheet to cover us? -shall we then be ashamed to walk up and down in the world like -_Beggars_, with old Blankets pinn’d about us? no, no, that were a shame -to us indeed; have we not the whole kingdom to walk at our pleasure? are -we afraid of the approach of Quarter-day? do we walk in fear of -Bailiffs, Serjeants and Catch-poles? whoever knew an arrant _Beggar_ -arrested for debt? is not our meat drest in every mans Kitchen? does not -every mans cellar afford us beer? and the best mens purses keep a penny -for us to spend? - -Having by these words (as he thought) fully fixed me in love with -begging, he then acquainted the Company with my desires, who were all of -them very joyful thereof, being as glad to add one to their society, as -a _Turk_ is to gain a Proselite to _Mahomet_. The first question that -they asked me was, if I had any _Loure_ in my _Bung_? I stared on them -not knowing what they meant, till at last one told me it was mony in my -purse; I told them I had but eighteen pence, which I freely gave them; -this by a general vote was condemned to be spent in _Bouse_ for my -initiation. Then they commanded me to kneel down, which being done, one -of the chief of them took a Gage of _Bowse_, which is a quart of drink, -and poured the same on my head, saying, I do by vertue of this Soveraign -liquor, _stall thee to the Rogue_, and make thee a free Denizen of our -ragged Regiment; so that henceforth it shall be lawful for thee to -_Cant_ and to carry a _Doxy_ or _Mort_ along with thee, only observing -these rules. First that thou art not to wander up and down all -Countries, but to keep only to that Quarter which is allotted to thee! -and secondly, thou art to give way to any of us that have born all the -Offices of the _Wallet_ before thee, and upon holding up a finger to -avoid any Town or Country village where thou seest we are forraging to -victual our army that march along with us. Observing these two rules, we -take thee into our protection, and adopt thee a Brother of our numerous -society. - -He having ended his oration, I rose up, and was congratulated by all the -Company, hanging about me like so many dogs about a Beare, and leaping -and shouting like so many mad men, making such a confused noyse with -their gabling, that the melody of a dozen oyster-wives at -_Billingsgate_, the scolding at ten Conduits, and the Gossipings of -fifteen Bake-houses were not comparable unto it. At length he that -_stalled me_ cryed out for silence, bidding the French and English Pox -to light on their throats for making such a yelping; then fixing his -eyes upon me, he read a Lecture to me out of the Devils Hornbook as -followeth. - -Now (saith he) that thou art enter’d into our fraternity, thou must not -scruple to act any villanies which thou shall be able to perform; -whether it be to _nip_ a _bung_, _bite_ the _Peter_, _Cloy_ the -_Lurries_, _Crash_ either a _Bleating cheat_, _Cackling cheat_, -_grunting cheat_, _quacking cheat_, _Tib oth buttery_, _Margery prater_, -or to _Cloy a Mish_ from the _Crackmans_: that is, to _cut_ a _purse_, -_steal a Cloak-bag_ or _portmantle_, _convey_ away all manner of -_Cloaths_, either a _Sheep_, _Chicken_, _sucking Pig_, _Duck_, _Goose_, -_Hen_, or _steal_ a _shirt_ from the hedg; for he that will be a _Quier -Cove_, a profest Rogue, must observe this rule, set down by an ancient -_Patrico_ in these words. - - _Wilt thou a begging go, - O perse o, o perse o, - Then must thou God forsake - And to the Devil thee betake - O perse o, &c._ - -And because thou art as yet but a Novice in begging, and understandest -not the mysteries of the _Canting_ language, to principle thee the -better, thou shalt have a _Doxy_ to be thy Companion, by whom thou maist -receive fit instructions for thy purpose. And thereupon he singled me -out a young Girl of about fourteen years of age, which tickled my fancy -very much that I had gotten a young wanton to dally withal; but this was -not all, I must presently be married unto her after their fashion by -their _Patrico_, (who amongst _Beggars_ is their Priest) which was done -after this manner. - -They got a Hen, and having cut off the head of it, laid the dead body -upon the ground, placing me on the one side of it, and my _Doxy_ on the -other; this being done, the _Patrico_ standing by, with a loud voice -_bid us live together till death did us part_; then one of the Company -went into the yard and fetcht a dry Cow-turd, which was broken over my -_Dox’s_ head in imitation of a Bride-cake; and so shaking hands, and -kissing each other, the Ceremony of the wedding was over, and for joy of -the marriage we fell to drinking afresh, till we were all _as drunk as -Beggars_; but then to hear the gabling noyse we made, would have made -you to have blest your self, to hear such a _Babel_ of confusion amongst -us, some were jabbering in the _Canting Language_, others in their own, -some did nothing but weep and protest love to their _Morts_, others -swore swords and daggers to cut the throats of their _Doxy’s_ if they -found them tripping; one would drink a health to the Bride till he -slavered again, some were for singing Bawdy songs, others were divising -Curses for Justices of Peace, Head-boroughs, and Constables; at last -night approaching, and all their mony being spent, we betook us to a -Barn not far off, where we _coucht a Hogshead in the darkmans_, and went -to sleep. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XV. - -_The Orders and Degrees of the Canting Beggars, Men and Women, with - their several qualities and manner of life._ - - -Though my lodging was homely, my bedfellow pleased, yet though she were -so young, I could not boast of the purchase of her Maidenhead, that -being a dainty bestowed always on the _Upright-men_ (the chief of the -Rogues) who must have the first taste of such morsels, and then are they -free for any of the Brother-hood. The whole night was spent in prigging, -wapping; and telling of drunken stories; in the morning as soon as -_Ph[oe]bus_ began to dart some of his beams through the Crannies of the -walls, the _Patrico_ began to set up his _larum_, and to waken the rest -with this song. - - _This is_ Bien Bowse, _this is_ Bien Bowse, - _Too little is my skew._ - _I_ Bowse _no_ Lage, _but a whole_ Gage - _Of this ile_ Bowse _to you._ - - _This_ Bowse _is better than_ Rom-Bowse, - _It sets the_ Gan _a gigling;_ - - _The_ Autem Mort _finds better sport_ - _In_ Bowsing _than in_ nigling. - - _Tis better than_ Peckidge, Plannam, - _Than_ Yarum, Loure, _or_ Lage; - _Then lift the same up to thy_ Nab, - _And_ Bowse _off a whole_ Gage. - -Being thus rowsed, and having shaken our eares a little, the _Upright -man_ (who was the Bel-weather of the flock) appointed out the station -wherein every one should go, prefixing a day wherein we were all to meet -again. My _Doxy_ and I had a particular walk assigned unto us, wherein -we were to travel, and not to intrench upon any of the others limits; -whilst I thus rambled about with her, I learned of her the several -qualities and offices of the Brother-hood, and how they were -distinguished from each other according to their degrees of -_superiority_ and _inferiority_: the men were divided into these twenty -several sorts. - - 1 _Upright men._ - 2 _Rufflers._ - 3 _Anglers._ - 4 _Rogues._ - 5 _Wilde Rogues._ - 6 _Priggers of Prancers._ - 7 _Palliards, or Clapperdugeons._ - 8 _Fraters._ - 9 _Quire Birds._ - 10 _Abraham-men._ - 11 _Whip-jacks._ - 12 _Counterfeit Crancks._ - 13 _Dummerars._ - 14 _Jack-men._ - 15 _Patrico’s._ - 16 _Irish Toyles._ - 17 _Swigmen._ - 18 _Glymmerars._ - 19 _Curtalls._ - 20 _Kinchen Co’s._ - -Of the Women kinde were only these six. - - 1 _Kitchen Morts._ - 2 _Dells._ - 3 _Doxies._ - 4 _Walking Morts._ - 5 _Autem Morts._ - 6 _Bawdy Baskets._ - -And now what these several sorts of people are, you shall hear by their -descriptions. - -1. An _Upright-man_ is the chief of all the Ragged Regiment, he walks -like a Commander with a short Truncheon in his hand which he calls his -_Filch-man_; pretends himself to be a decayed Souldier, and claimes a -share in all the Booties which any other inferior _Rogues_ do get; he -hath all the _Morts_ and _Doxies_ at his beck, and can command them from -any other of the _Gang_ at his pleasure. By this description you see -there is a great deal of difference betwixt an _Upright man_ and an -_honest man_. - -2 A _Ruffler_ is the same in Conditions as an _Upright man, like to like -quoth the_ Devil _to the_ Collier; they both of them pretend themselves -to be decayed Souldiers, are both of them very imperious over the -inferior Subjects of their _Common-wealth_: receiving tribute also from -_Rogues_, _Palliards_, _Morts_, _Doxies_, _&c._ - -3 The next are _Anglers_, but they seldome catch Fish till they go up -_Westward_ for _Flounders._ The Rod they angle with is a staff of five -or six foot in length, having a hole bored through it within an inch of -the top, into which hole do they put an iron hook, and with the same do -they angle at windows about midnight, drawing therewith apparrel, -sheets, coverlets, or whatsoever they lay hold on, _All is Fish that -comes to Net_. - -4 A _Rogue_, whose very name doth show his nature, and therefore he -shall not need any further description. - -5 A _Wild Rogue_ is of the same nature as a _Rogue_, only this is the -difference, that the one falls into this infamous and detestable course -of life, either thorough laziness, death of Parents, cruelty of Masters, -or the like, the wild _Rogue_ is bred up to it from his swadling clouts, -born a _Rogue_, lives all his whole life a _Rogue_, and disdaines to -take upon him any calling or profession whatsoever, but as he lives, so -dies a _Rogue_. - -6 _Priggers of Prancers_ are Horse-stealers, for to _Prig_, signifies in -the _Canting language_ to steal, and _Prancer_ signifies a Horse, the -Farmers in the Country, and Gentlemen that keep Horses, know these sorts -of _Rogues_ too well, by dear experience. - -7 _Palliards_, otherwise called _Clapperdugeons_, who go alwayes with -their _Morts_ at their heels, and to draw people the more to pitty them, -with _Sperewort_ or _Arsnick_ raise blisters on their legs, which they -can cure again at their pleasure. When they come into the streets of a -Town or Country village, they divide themselves, and beg one on one side -of the street, and the other on the other side; the purchase which they -thus get, they sell to poor Tradesmen, or other labouring people, and -with the money are merry at the Bowsing-ken. - -8 A _Frater_ is one that with a Counterfeit Patent goeth about with a -wallet at his back, and a black box at his girdle, to beg for some -Hospital or Spittle-house; he hath always a _Doxy_ whom he meets withall -at night at some tippling-house, where they lewdly spend what was given -him in the day by charitable well-minded people. - -9 _Quire Birds_ are those in whom the Proverb is verified, _Birds of a -feather, Rogues together_, they are such as formerly sung in such Cages -as _Newgate_, the _White Lyon_, or some other Country _Goale_. - -10 _Abraham-men_, or a _Tom of Bedlam_ is a man whom by his black and -blew arms you may see to be much beaten to the world; he counterfeits -madness, and by many Phantastick tricks gets from silly Country people -Bacon, and such other victuals as will fetch him ready money; he hath -but two names for all people whatsoever, and that is _Tom_ and _Bess_. -No man shifts his linnen oftner than he does his wenches. - -11 _Whipjacks_ are such as travel about from town to town under the -notion of Shipwrackt _Seamen_, with a counterfeit licence to beg, which -licence they call a _Gybe_, and the seals to it _Jarks_; their talk is -all of Sea-voyages, but the end of their Land-voyage is for what they -can get, and to rob Booths at Fairs, which they call _Heaving of the -Booth_, at which they are very expert. - -12 _Counterfeit Cranks_ are such as pretend themselves to have the -_Falling-sickness_, and by putting a piece of white soap into the corner -of their mouths, will make the froath to come boyling forth to cause -pitty in the beholders; they stare wildly with their eyes to appear as -if distracted, and go half naked to move the greater compassion. These -_Cranks_ have likewise their meetings, and their wenches at command. - -13 The _Dummerar_ is Cousin-German to the _Cranks_, for as the one -counterfeits the _falling-sickness_, so this counterfeits dumbness, -making a horrid noise instead of speech by doubling his tongue in his -mouth, but if you give him nothing, he can then open his mouth to curse -you privately. This _Jack_ hath also his _Jill_, upon whom he spends his -_Loure_ at the _Bowsingken_. - -14 A _Jackman_ is one that can write and reade, yea some of them have a -smattering in the _Latine_ tongue; which learning of theirs advances -them in office amongst the _Beggars_, as to be _Clark of their Hall_, or -the like. His employment is to make _Gybes_ with _Jarkes_ to them, which -are counterfeit licences with seals, by which he gets store of money to -make himself drunk withal. - -15 The _Patrico_ is their Priest, every hedge is his Parish, and every -wandring Rogue and Whore is his Parishioner. His service is onely -marrying of couples, by bidding them go together and multiply, and fill -the world with a generation of vagabonds. - -16 _Irish Toyls_ are lusty Rogues who go about with a wallet at their -back, in which they carry pinns, poynts, laces, and such like, and under -colour of selling such wares commit many villanies. - -17 A _Swigman_ is a degree higher than an _Irish toyle_, as a Tavern -exceeds an Ale-house, for he carries a pack behind him in stead of a -wallet, and is stored with more sorts of ware than the other, yet -differs little from him in honesty; they both pay tribute to the -_Upright man_, as to their chief. - -18 _Glymmerars_ are such as travel up and down with licences to beg, -because their houses have been consumed with fire, for _Glymmer_ in the -_Canting tongue_ signifies fire. They use a very sad tone in their -begging, and tell a lamentable story how the fire destroyed their Barns, -Stables, &c. by which lying tales they get store of _Loure_ to buy _Bub_ -at the _Bowsingken_. - -19 _Curtals_ are so called because they wear short Cloases, being of the -same nature as the Rogues described before. - -20 The last _ranck_ of this _Rambling Crew_ are termed _Kinchin Co’s_, -being little Boys, whose Parents were formerly _Beggars_, but are now -dead, or else such as have run away from their Masters, and instead of a -trade to live by, follow this kinde of life to be lowsie by. The first -thing they` do is to learn how to _Cant_, and the onely thing they -practice is to creep in at windows or Cellar doors. - -Thus have I given you a brief description of the men, by which you may -give a shrewd guess of the women; for you cannot imagine if the one were -_Devils_, that the other would be _Saints_, take them therefore in their -own Character. - - * * * * * - -1. Of this sort the first of them are called _Kinchen Morts_, their -Mothers carry at their backs in their _Slates_, id est, _sheets_. When -the _Morts_ beg, they use to prick these _Kinchens_ with pins, that by -their crying they may move people to a speedier distribution of their -alms. - -2. _Dells_ are young wenches that have not lost their maiden-heads, but -being once deflowred, (which commonly is when they are very young) they -then change the name of _Dell_ into _Doxy_, even as maids when they come -to be married, loose that appellation, and are called women. - -3. _Doxeys_ are such as have been deflowred by the _Upright-men_, and -are after common to any of the Brotherhood. They will if they see -convenient for a small piece of money prostitute their bodies to any -that will deal with them, and do too often murther those Infants which -are so gotten. They have one special badge to be known by, for most of -them go working of laces and shirt-strings, or such like stuff, onely to -give colour to their idle wandring. - -4. A _walking Mort_ is one that hath increased the world with -Lullaby-cheats or young Children, yet was never married; they are very -dangerous Queans to meet withal, being cunning in dissembling, and -without all fear of God and good laws; and are kept in awe onely by the -_Upright-men_, who oftentimes rifle them of all that they have. - -5. An _Autem Mort_ is another sort of these _she-devils_, and differs -onely from a _walking Mort_ in that she is married; for _Autem_ in the -Canting tongue signifies a _Church_, although that be a place she seldom -comes at. They commonly walk with their Wallets on their shoulders, and -_Slates_ or sheets at their backs, and will pilfer any thing that lies -carelesly about houses, which they call in their language _Nilling of -the ken_. Their Husbands commonly are _Rufflers_, _Upright-men_, _Wilde -Rogues_, _&c._ - -6. The last of this _Ragged Regiment_ are called _Bawdy Baskets_, which -are women that walk with Baskets or Cap-cases on their arms, wherein -they have pinns, points, needles, and such like things to sell, going -thus from house to house, to sell their ware; buy _Cunny-skins_, and -steal what they can lay their hands on, driving three trades at once. -They are very fair spoken, and will seldome swear whilest they are -selling their wares, but will lie with any man that hath a minde to -them. The _Upright-men_ and these are in perfect league and amity one -with another. - - * * * * * - -Thus have I briefly dissected to you this knot of _Vipers_, who may very -fitly be termed the _Devils black Guard_. Whose whole life consisteth of -a continued act of all impiety, no sin within their verge but is -frequently committed amongst them, especially that sin of leachery; to -which end you shall find sometimes together in a Barn forty of these -_Uprightmen_, _Rufflers_, _Clapperdugeons_, _&c._ ingendring _Beggars_ -with their _Morts_. Adultery they boast of, Incest they laugh at, Sodomy -they Jest at, being all of the Family of _Love_ or Lust rather, rope -ripe, Nuts for the Devils cracking, and fit fuel for firing for his -Kitchen. But I have dwelt too long upon this filthy subject, I shall -only give you a brief Character of a _Canting Rogue_, and so return to -the progress of my own life. - -He should seem by his rambling minde to be begot by some Intelligencer -under a hedge, for he is wholly addicted to travel, and hath one -especial priviledge above most Travellers, that he is never out of the -way. He is not troubled with making of Joyntures; he can divorce himself -without the Fee of a _Proctor_, nor fears he the cruelty of Overseers of -his Will; for there is small danger of his Children being cheated of -their Estates, by which means he makes not work for the Lawyers after -his decease. He leaves his Children all the world to _Cant_ in, and all -the people to be their fathers to provide for them. His language is -always one and the same; the Northern speech differs from the South, -Welsh from the Cornish, but _Canting_ is general, nor ever could be -altered by Conquest of the _Saxon_, _Dane_, or _Norman_. He will not beg -out of the limit prescribed him by the _Upright-man_, though he starve; -nor falsifie his oath, if he swear by his _Solomon_ (which is the -_Mass_) though you hang him; and to show himself a true subject of their -Common-wealth, he pays his custom as truly to his Grand Rogue, as -tribute is paid to the Great Turk. - -The Spring is as welcome to him, as a warm Bed to a weary Traveller, for -then begins his progress after a hard Winter; and the Sun which breeds -Agues in others, he adores it like the _Indian_. _Ostlers_ cannot endure -him, for he is of the _Infantry_, and serves best on foot; and if -through sickness at any time he ride, his stage is but to the next Town, -and that in a Dung-cart. He offends not the Statute against the excess -of Apparel; the fuller of Rags, the more fashionable for his Calling; -and to go naked, he accounts but a voluntary pennance. Forty of them -will lye in a Barn together, yet are never sued upon the Statute of -In-mates. He shifts Lodgings oftner than men shift their shirts, and -hath more change of _Morts_ and _Doxies_, than he hath of Lodgings. If -he were learned, no man could make a better Description of _England_, -for he hath surveyed it more exactly than the best Cosmographer -whatsoever, having travell’d it over and over. Lastly, he can brag of -this, that repairing of houses will never undo him; and that though he -eats and drinks every day, yet he shall not die one penny in debt either -to the Brewer, or to the Butcher. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XVI. - -_In prosecution of his begging, he steals a Hen, is taken in the manner, - and whipped, and imprisoned in the Cage; from whence he escapes, and - assists in the robbing of a House, where he gets a good Booty and - escapes, but his Companions are caught; one hanged, and two - transported: He hearing this, makes haste to_ London. - - -It was then the Spring of the year when I took this laze trade of life -upon me; the harmony of the Birds singing, and the variety of the -Flowers which beautified the verdant Fields, made me the more willing to -embrace this sordid course, not thinking of a winter that would strike -dumb those winged Choristers, and invest the Earth with a robe of Snow, -in stead of all her painted Bravery. Custom had soon habituated me to a -liking of lodging in straw, attracted the more by my amorous Bed-fellow, -and so long as I had my fill of ease, I could well be contented to fast -from Dainties. But for my life I could not bring my tongue to the right -tone of Begging, although I were habited fit for the purpose, with a -dirty Night-cap loathsome to behold, my face all smearen, my cloths set -full with patches upon the whole cloath, a red clout upon my leg, and -supporting my body with a staff as if I had been a meer criple. Many a -mile we rambled, yet keeping still in our own station, for fear of the -_Upright-man_: but my counterfeit plea for begging was at last -discovered, and to all my dainties I had whipping chear added; for going -one day not far off from a Farm house, the stragling Hens invited me to -have a throw at them with my staff, and having struck one of them, I had -forgotten my lameness, but very nimbly ran and took her up, putting her -under my patcht Coat, where I had a bag sewed in that was a receptacle -for all stollen goods. It chanced that the Farmer himself was then on -the other side of the hedge, who undiscover’d by me, saw my activity in -the stealing of his Hen, and was resolved, though I put it up, that he -would not. But I dreading nothing, thinking my self unseen, went -directly to the House, and as soon as I came into the yard fell to my -old trade, leaning on my staff, and drawing my leg after me, as if -scarce able to stand, much less to run. Having gotten to the door, I -began to set up my tone with a _Good tender hearted people be pleased to -bestow your charity upon a poor miserable wretch that is both lame and -hungry; one penny of silver to buy him salve for his sore leg, or one -morsel of victuals to put into his belly that hath had nothing come in -it this couple of dayes_. No sooner had I ended my Maunding, thinking to -mump the Farmer out of some money, or at leastwise some bread to my Hen, -but he having watch’d me now seiz’d hold of my arm, and told me, that -that though it might be true that I had not lately eaten, yet he saw I -was resolved to be better provided for the future, and so turning back -my Coat discover’d my bag, where was not only the Hen, but some other -provant, I had lately purchased. I finding my self caught, would gladly -have given him the slip, but some of his servants, as well as himself -stop’d me, without any more ado the _Harman-beck_ was sent for, who -being a neighbour was quickly come, and by this time I had a great train -of Boys and Girls to attend me: I needed not much examination being thus -taken in the manner, but however they were all desirous to see my sore -leg; I was forced to let them do what they would with me, knowing there -was no remedy but patience, and so I suffer’d them to unrowl and take -off the Clouts and Rowlers that was upon it, when coming to the skin, -that was as whole and as sound as a fish; but though my leg was well and -whole, my heart was now almost broken with consideration of what they -would do with me; some proposed one punishment, and some another, but at -length to the Whipping-Post I was led, where my Doublet and shirt being -stript off, my back was so long lac’d with a Cart-whip, that I Caperd -and flownced like a Horse in a quagmire, and I was as fast too, being -hand cuffd so that I could not stir. It was well it was the spring time, -for I lost blood enough to purge away the gross humors without the help -of a Surgeon, that office being supplyd by a Thrasher who took as much -pains upon me as would have Thrash’d a bushel of Pease; but at length -there was a Cessation, and a new parlee began, wherein it was propounded -that further course should be taken with me, and considering that there -was a kind of Felony committed upon the Hen; they advis’d and agreed to -lead me to the next Justice of the peace to have his Judgement in the -Case, though I thought it unreasonable to suffer punishment first, and -then to be Judged; yet it was to no purpose to complain, and all I could -say would not prevail with them to let me go, but they would conduct me -to the Justice, so that I having put on my Cloaths my shirt stuck to my -back and made me sensible that I had lost leather; but for all that on I -must, and the Justice living a mile off, the Thrasher who had lash’d me, -and two or three others made holliday to attend me: when we came before -the Justice, he hearing that I had been punished already, was content at -my Importunity to acquit me from any other, and only to make a Pass to -send me home to _London_, being the place where I told them I was born: -I not having power to contradict, was forced to consent to what was -commanded, and that Constable attending me out of his liberties to -another Constable, left me: this new Constable, who now had me in -keeping, not being willing to go further with me; for that night put me -up in the Cage, where I was lock’d up, but not so safely, but I made -shift to break out, and travelling all night, by the next morning I was -far enough off for them to o'retake me, for all that day I concealed my -self in a wood, and when night came I proceeded on my Journey; but it so -happened that on the second night of my travel, about midnight I was -overtaken by three persons who demanded where I was going? I told them -any whither: what was I? I replied a wretched person whom fortune had -persecuted, and therefore I was indifferent whether I went, or what I -did. Hearing me say so, they retired a little to consult about their -affairs, and then one of them coming up to me, demanded several -questions of me of my late course of life? To all their questions I -returned them such answers as caused them to conclude me to be a -Rambler, and therefore fit for their society, and therefore they asked -me if I were willing to hazard my self in enterprizing somewhat, that -though it might be something dangerous, yet it should be very -profitable. To this I answered, that they should soon find my -willingness expressed in the boldness of my actions, and if seconded or -assisted by them, I should act anything they would direct and appoint. - -They hearing my resolution, soon consented to admit me into their -society, and acquainted me with their present purpose, which was to rob -a House not far from that place: They told me that I must be valiant and -bold, not in fighting, for they knew they should meet with little -occasion to exercise any weapon, but in entring the House, and -performing other such matters as they should instruct me in. I told them -I consented to what they should propose, and therefore desired them to -tell me what part I was to act in this Enterprize, and as for a part of -the purchase, I should leave that to them, which I desired them to give -me as I should deserve. Then one of these persons told me, that he was -very well acquainted in the house, and gave me an account of the several -ways and passages into every Room, and who was lodged in such Chambers. -In fine, I discovered that there was but two men, and three women-kind -in the house, and he being a Coach-man, had lately brought the Master of -the house home with two hundred pound, of which he had a desire to rob -him; and therefore had joyned these two persons with him in the -Confederacy. Being thus instructed, we proceed, and arriving at the -house, I was put in at a window, and directed how to open the doors, -which I did, the Coach-man stayed below stairs, and we other three by -his directions went up into the Chambers; the doors we soon opened, and -coming to the Bed-side where the Master of the house and his Wife was, -we drawing our swords (for I had the Coach-mans delivered to me) opened -our dark Lanthorns, and seeing the man and woman, without many words we -bound and gagg’d them; and they leaving me to watch them, went into the -other Chambers to do the like to the rest: I being left alone in this -Room was not idle, but rummaged about, and found a Gold Watch, a few -Rings, and twenty Pieces of Gold, these I secured for my self, and soon -after my Companions returned; when taking the Keys out of the -Gentlewomans pocket, we soon found what we came for, the two hundred -pound, and so marched off without any stay, or the least interruption: -the Coach-man stayed below in the Hall, where he had made a strict -search, and had likewise plundred something from thence which after -turned little to his profit: but we all left the house with the doors -open, and marched with the spoils of the field, bag and baggage, to a -house about a mile distant, where they were so courteous as to give me -fifteen pound out of the profits of their Adventure. I (being sensible -that I was well enough paid, in regard of the Gold and other things I -had conceal’d) thankfully received it, and so left them, marching on -further to the next great Town, where the next day I understood a great -Fair was to be kept, and therefore I thought that place the most fitting -to conceal my self in, and be freest from suspition, I got in a Barn and -rested my self, taking some sleep; but was much disturbed, being in -great fear lest some mis-fortune might befall me: And to the end that I -might be the freer from suspect, in case of a _Hue and Cry_, I went to a -Sales-mans Booth which was in the Fair, and furnish’d me with a -Sad-coloured Sute and Cloak, Citizen-like, that I might pass for such a -one if occasion were; my old Cloathes I left behind me in the Barn where -I stripped my self. Thus did I escape all danger, but my Companions -fared worse than I, for the covetous Coach-man not having any thing else -whereon to exercise himself, stole a Looking-glass which was below -stairs, while we were above, and to conceal it from the rest of his -Companions, put it in his Codpiece. When they had sufficiently stayed at -the house where I left them, and had shared the prize, they went to go -homewards, but being flustred with the Bottles of Wine they had for joy -drank off, they made it so long, that it was seven of the Clock in the -morning ere they parted, and then were they overtaken by the _Hue and -Cry_, with a Constable, who though he knew the Coach-man very well, and -did not suspect him, yet seeing him and his two Companions so flustred, -and somewhat to hang out at the knees of the Coach-man’s Breeches, they -made some stay, asking whether he had lately been at some Wedding and -had Bride-Laces, which he had put in his Breeches. The Coach-man being -somewhat blank’d at this discovery, knew not what answer readily to -return: This caused them to examine him who they were that were his -Companions, and where they had been? They were all now deeplier -surprized than before, which gave so great suspition that occasioned a -Search, and in the end they found what they sought for, (the Money:) and -that which hung out at the Coach-mans Breeches, were some Ribbons that -were fastned to the Looking-glass. Upon this Discovery they were all -Apprehended, carried before a Justice, and upon examination being found -directly guilty, committed to Goal. This did I hear of at the Fair that -afternoon as I was drinking in a Booth: At the recital of this story, if -any one had observed me, they might easily have conjectured that I was -concerned therein; for I was possessed with so much fear, that I look’d -like one rather dead than alive: but there was no occasion to suspect -me, for the three others my Companions being taken and with them the -greatest part of the money, there was no occasion to make any further -enquiry. Then did I bless my good fortune that I had left them so -suddenly, and was so much out of danger, and that evening I proceeded -further on in my way towards _London_; but being well furnished with -Silver and Gold, I took up my Quarters in a very good Inn, where I had a -good Supper and soft Bed, and slept very well, considering the trouble I -was in. At this Inn I stayed several days to hear what would become of -my Companions, for the Assizes were then at hand. I received this -satisfaction, that they being Tryed, were all cast for their Lives; the -Coach-man hang’d, and the other two were to be transported. This was the -end of my piece of Thievery, and I did then resolve never to hazard my -self again in such matters, lest I came off with as bad success as the -Coach-man. I stayed so long in this Inn, pretending to wait the coming -of a sister of mine, that one day who should arrive there but the -Maid-servant who lived with the Plaisterer I had served, and as I -suppose was the cause of his drowning: now was I in greater fear than -before, for I had lately escaped hanging for theft, and now expected it -for murther; and I knew that this wench was malicious enough against me, -and would rather injure me by her exclamations, than secure me by her -silence; I therefore intended to give her the go-by, but could not, for -she had now cast her eye upon me and discovered me, and came straight up -to me to speak with me. How now, says she, you have made a fair Ramble! -Is it not time to return? Well, said I, be silent a little, and let me -speak with you in private; and thereupon taking her by the hand, I led -her into a private room, where calling for some drink, I enquired of her -how all our Friends did, and more particularly for my Master. Why, said -she, you know well enough that he is dead. At this word I was more dead -than alive, neither was I for the present able to ask her any more -questions. - -The Drink being brought in, she drank to me; Well, said she, however I -am glad to see you here; so am not I (thought I:) but recovering my lost -senses, I demanded of her how long my Master had been dead. She replyed, -a fortnight. Nay, thought I, then the Case is not so bad as I suspected, -and therefore I proceeded in questioning of her how he died, and many -other questions. She answered, that he died of a Feaver, which kept him -not above fourteen days sick; and he being dead, she was now returning -into the Country to visit her Friends. - -Now was I fully satisfied that I needed not fear any danger, wherefore I -called for a Bottle of Canary, which we drank off; and she related to me -that he was not much hurt by the fall that I gave him, for he went again -to work the next day, and had made much enquiry after me, but as yet in -vain. I told her that I indeed doubted that he had been drowned by the -fall which he had received into the water, and therefore had absented my -self ever since from _London_, wandering up and down in several -Disguises: But, said I, I will now go to _London_ again, but never to -serve out my Time at that Trade; for if I come upon a Scaffold again, I -shall be much frighted with the remembrance of that Disaster. She told -me, that now indeed I was free to dispose of my self since my Master was -dead, and might chuse my Trade and Master. - -Thus did we spin out several hours of that day and night together, till -it was time to go to Bed, and then we parted; she the next morning -proceeded in her Journey into the Countrey, and I pursuing my -resolutions of going to _London_, likewise went forward. But by the way -met with an Adventure, which I shall relate to you in the next Chapter. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XVII. - -_In his Journey to_ London, _he overtakes a Trooper and a Wench: he lyes - with her and two more of her Companions, and after this frollick he - goes with them all to_ London. - - -I was now resolved nothing should hinder me from proceeding in my -Journey to _London_, and that I might get thither the sooner, I -endeavoured to borrow a horse, but could not procure one, I being a -stranger, every person was unwilling to trust me: but at noon-day -staying for a bait, I happened into the company of a Trooper, who was -likewise travelling to _London_; we dined together, and he asking -whither I was going? I told him: he said he should be glad of my -company. I said, that would be very pleasing to me if I might enjoy his; -but I could not because he was better furnish’d for a Journey than I, -being provided with a horse, and I on foot: he told me that -inconveniency might be supplyed, for there were horses in the stable to -be let. I told him that I would give any consideration for the hire of -one, and that he, if acquainted, might do me much kindness in procuring -one for me: he seeing me full of money, quickly procured me a horse, -engaging himself that I should leave the beast at his _London_ quarters. -My host being well acquainted with him, and he being to ride along with -me, was contented: and I paying five shillings for his hire, had the -horse deliver’d to me, and on his back I mounted, thinking my self to be -some brave fellow: As we rid along together, we overtook a female -Creature, young and handsom, in somewhat an ancient decayed, but Gentile -garb. The Trooper being a notable well experienced blade, soon fell into -discourse with her, and found her to be a Rambling Baggage, whose -journey was now intended for _London_, and would be glad of our company, -were she accommodated with a horse: to that I offered her my service, -and agreed that she should ride behind me; to which she assenting, soon -mounted, and now we merrily put on, holding a pleasing discourse with -our female companion. I had a great desire to take a better view of her -than I could, being thus on hors-back together, and therefore perswaded -the Trooper to make a halt at the next Town which we came to, where we -all dismounted, and I saluted my Lady, who kindly received my Courtesie. -The Trooper after some discourse, was well enough acquainted with the -Lady, having often times been merry with her, and others, at the house -where she lodged in _London_. He call’d me on one side, and told me, -that she was a person with whom he had been formerly acquainted, and so -might I too, if I would, and if I had any desire thereto, he could and -would assist me. - -I told him he had done me many kindnesses in the small time of my -acquaintance, and now he had offered that which exceeded all; for indeed -I was much taken with her beauty, and very desirous I was to enjoy her. - -Well, said he, let us be going from hence, and make you your bargain -with her as you ride along by the way, and I will take such care in the -business that you shall be entertained as man and wife at my quarters, -and there lie together. I was infinitely glad of this his kind proffer, -and thankfully accepted thereof, and so after some little longer stay, -we again mounted our steeds and put forwards: according to his -instruction I courted my Mistress, and without much difficulty obtained -her promise to permit me to lie with her, and so we rid on till we -arrived at the Troopers quarters, where he told his Landlady, that he -had brought her some guests; for this young man and his wife, (said he) -pointing to us, will stay here all night: they shall be welcom, said the -Hostess, and so a supper was provided; for as we did eat and drink with -a very good appetite, and my Landlady did accompany us, who I found was -very well respected, and familiar with the Trooper; and bed-time being -come, which I had much desired, I and my Lady went to bed, neither did -the Trooper lie alone, for our Landlady was his bed-fellow; how he spent -the night I know not, but I am sure for our parts we slept but little, -for it was the first time that I ever enjoy’d a woman naked in my arms -all night, and I was ravished with delight, never having had so much -pleasure. My bed-fellow was well enough contented with the entertainment -I gave her; we discoursed of one anothers fortunes, but whether she told -me the truth of hers, I know not, but I disguised mine wholly from her, -not thinking it fit to make her acquainted with my late adventures; she -told me, that the occasion of her late travel was this, that she and two -women more of her acquaintance had been perswaded by three Gentlemen to -a Ramble, and had gone down to such a City in a Coach, that they had for -some time continued together as three men and wives at an Inn, and there -had enjoyed a full plenty of every thing; but at length the three -Gentlemen had basely left them to pay a great reckoning in a strange -place, and all they had would not make the one half of it, that they had -for some time waited in expectation of the return of their friends, but -in vain, so that at last it was agreed, that one of us, said she, should -go for _London_, and procure mony to redeem the rest, and the lot -falling on me I have prosecuted the journey, and hopes to raise money to -relieve, and redeem my companions. I hearing this story was sensibly -troubled thereat, and offered her my assistance, and she so far -prevail’d with me, that I lent her five pound to send to her companions, -she promising me to continue either there, or at any other place with me -so long as I should please, and at our coming to her quarters at -_London_, to repay me my mony with many thanks. To all this I agreed, -and the next day she conveyed most part of the mony to her companions by -a Coach that travelled thither: and thus did I enjoy this Lady for many -nights together, and lying at Rack and Manger: the horse I sent back at -the directions of the Trooper, who likewise continued with his Hostess, -and only my purse paid for all; but indeed we lived sparingly enough, -the Trooper being one of the honestest Travellers that I ever met with. -The Coach-man who carried the money to the afflicted and distressed -Damoyselles, returned, and with him the Ladies, very glad of their safe -return, and very thankful were they, not only to their companions who -sent it, but also to me of whom, she said, she procured it, and now we -all thought of removeing to _London_, but one night more we lay at our -old quarters, where I had the greatest frollick I was ever guilty of, -for that night I kist with all three of the women, and pleased them -round, by giving each of them a tryal of my skill. What now could I -desire to enjoy further? I thought my self to be as brave a fellow as -the great Turk in his _Seraglio_, he having but his choice of Women, -which I now enjoyed to my full content. But morning coming, we took -leave of our Hostess and the Trooper, and all four taking Coach, soon -came to _London_, where I took up my Quarters with my three Damsels, who -made very much of me, and indeed they were the honestest Wenches, and I -had the best frollick that I ever had in my life, but in time I was -weary of this life, for what man can last out alwayes? And I finding my -pocket begin to shrink, bethought me that it was fit to leave off in -time, for all my Silver was gone, and ten pound of my twenty pound in -Gold: but I selling my Watch and Rings raised ten pound more; with this -stock of twenty pound I was resolved to retire, and fit my self for some -employment. My three Ladies never offered to return me the five pound I -had lent them, neither indeed could I handsomly expect it; for they had -been very liberal in their expences, and had declined all other company -to accommodate me. They heard of their three Gentlemen who had trapan’d -them in the Country, and so wisely plaid their Cards that they gained -all their money again, I assisting them, and pretending the man of the -house had assigned the money to me. I scorned to pocket any of it, but -gave it amongst them; and so being resolved to take another course of -life, I retired my self from them: and to the end that I might be fitted -for an employment, I hired one who was well known therein, to teach me -to write more perfectly than I could formerly, as also Arithmatick: I -likewise hired several Books of a Stationer, for which I gave him so -much _per_ week; These being chiefly Knight-Errantry and Romances, I -took much pleasure therein. I had a mind to diversion, and went to visit -my Damoyselles, and thus did I live the pleasantest life in the world; -but I had so much reason as to think that things would not last long as -they were, and I had no inclination to stealing, more virtuous thoughts -had now possessed me, and therefore a Trade being the only thing that -would maintain me, I enquired for one, and setled my self, as you shall -hear in the next Chapter. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - -[Illustration: _The Extravagant Prentices with their Lasses at a Taverne -Frollick._] - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XVIII. - -_He being now come to_ London, _puts himself Prentice to a Taylor; he - gets acquaintance with Prentices of all sorts, is with them at their - Tavern-frolicks: he is employed by a Scrivener to make Cloathes for a - Wench, he goes with him to her, and returning, the Scrivener promises - him an account of that Trade._ - - -Being now come to _London_, I was resolved not to be idle, but settle my -self to some one Trade, that I might be able to get a living; and having -already had tryal of several, at first a _Barber-Surgeon_, then a -_Tapster_, a _Cook_, a _Lock-smith_, _Taylor_, _Baker_, and -_Plaisterer_; and being still forced for some reason or other to leave -them all, did now resolve to fix upon one that should do my business, -and whereby I might at all times, and in all places, be able to live by -my hands, for Lands I had none. I considered of all the Trades I had -already been a practitioner in, and many others, none suited so well -with my humour, as that of a Taylor; wherefore I sought for several -Masters, but they were all unwilling to take me for less than seven -years, it being the custom of _London_ that none can be bound for less -time, nor be made a Free-man till they have served so long. I was -unwilling to bind my self on those tearms, knowing my temper was -variable, and did believe, I should not hold out to serve such a tearm: -but after several enquiries and tryals, I did light upon a Master, who -was willing to take me for five years, only this I perswaded him to do -in regard I already had a good hand in working, and being industrious in -my imployment, so that though I was bound for seven years, yet I had a -Writing under my Masters hand, that the last two years I should dispose -of my self as I pleased, and yet he could make me a Free-man at seven -years end. - -My Master was not only a Taylor, but kept a Brokers shop, wherein he -sold all sorts of Clothes new and old: He lived in one of the -principallest Streets in the City, and was in good esteem with his -neighbours, who were all persons of some quality, not of the meaner -sort, but substantial Tradesmen, as _Gold-smiths_, _Grocers_, -_Drugsters_, _Scriveners_, _Stationers_, &c. and I (being now well -fitted with Clothes, and having my pockets pretty well lined with money -which I had still kept by me) was a fit and welcome Companion to the -best sort of Apprentices, in whose society I did soon insinuate my self, -and having money to spend equal with the best, I came acquainted with a -whole Gang of such Blades, that all my former knowledge was nothing in -comparison to what I soon experimented from them; for their Masters -being of the wealthiest sort of Citizens, and keeping Countrey-houses at -_Newington_, _Hackney_, _Stepney_, &c, they often had opportunity in -their absence to meet, and keep their Club or general Randezvous, which -was commonly every other night, at one of the Taverns near adjoyning: -and my Master (who did well enough understand that I was frequently -abroad, and in what Company I spent my time) did not in the least oppose -or contradict me therein; for I soon found that these young Jovial -Blades, though Apprentices, yet they were my Masters best Customers, for -there was none of them but had a Sute or two of Clothes _A la mode_, -which commonly lay at our house, which they put on when they had any -frollick out of Town, either at _Christmas_, _Easter_, or _Whitsontide_, -or at any other time, when they pretending some urgent occasions, they -would give their Masters the slip. - -Thus was I one of the Gang, and had liberty to be with them so often as -I pleased, by the connivance of my Master, whose profit consisted in my -acquaintance with them; for I soon brought him some new Customers, out -of whom he could squeez good store of money for making their Clothes, -and sometimes he made three or four Sutes at a time, yet had no money -for his pains, but he was satisfied otherwise in Commodities, which were -more to his profit; for the Mercer paid his Bill in Stuffs, the Draper -in Cloth, and the rest either in other good Commodities which they had -of their Masters, or with which they were furnished by their Companions. -When any of them intended a new Sute for himself, Friend, or Mistress, -it was but summoning the Brethren of the Club together, and then the -Mercer brought his Stuffs or Silks, the Milliner Buttons, Ribbons, and -Lynings, for which they had in exchange such other Commodities as the -others could produce: there was only two Trades that had little or no -Commodities to exchange, and that was the Scrivener and Bookseller, and -therefore I wondred from whence they should get to be so fine as the -rest; but I observed what they wanted in Wares, was supplyed in Money, -which was a Commodity would command every thing else. How they should -get this Money I knew not, for I could not imagine that in making of -Bills and Bonds the Scrivener could cheat his Master of much money, or -that the Bookseller could sell many books by the by, and put the money -in his own pockets, for I knew they were not so vendible a Commodity as -Cloath, Silk, _&c._ - -But one evening we being at our general Rendezvous, where we had good -wine, and better company, being attended by two or three Suburbian -Females, who were the Doxies of our Comerades. The Scrivener (having the -finest out-side, being in his private Sute of Apparel, and having his -pockets well lined with _Maslin_ of Gold and Silver) took occasion to -court one of the Women not only publickly, but privately; and though she -were till then a stranger to him, yet he won her from her other Friend, -and to enduce her to be kind to him, he called me to him, and ordered me -to provide her a new gown, and peticoat, of flowred Tabbee, and -immediatly calling to our Mercer who served us all, gave him as much -money as the Silk was worth, and all the engagement he desired from the -_Bona Roba_, was that he might have the first taking up of the peticoat, -and then if she liked her old sweet-heart best she might afterwards use -her pleasure, either in admitting him or t'other to her embraces, or -either of them as she pleased, to this they all three agreed, and the -Mercer who took about four pound for Silk was ordered (by a general -vote) to spend forty shillings of the money for that present reckoning, -and all the rest went scotfree, and after a lusty cup of wine, some -dishes of meat, and fidlars, they for that time broke up their meeting. -This liberallity, or rather prodigallity of the Scrivener put me into -some confusion, and very desirous I was to know how he gained so much -money, wherefore I speedily procured the apparrel to be made, and -delivered it to him to his content, I so highly pleased him that he -desired me to go with him to the Ladies lodging who was to wear it. I -accordingly waited on him thither, and she receiving him with much -chearfulness accepted it; it was soon put on, and it was not long before -they retired out of the room wherein I was, into an other; where I -suppose she was so curteous as to permit him not only to take up the -peticoat, and somewhat else to his liking: but to dispose of her at his -pleasure, for they stay’d together neer an hour. Neither was I left -alone: but had the old Matron of the house, and a young _Bona Roba_ to -accompany me, where we were not idle, but made the bottles of Sack, and -Stepony fly for it: when their business was over (and ours almost done, -for we had so ply’d the liquor that our noddles were fuller of wine than -wit) they briskly entred the room where we were, and without any coyness -fell stoutly to drinking; for seeing us neer thirty one, they with full -bowls quickly put us out, so that I was enforced to go to sleep, which I -supposed I did for about three hours, and then awaking I found my -Gallants wanting; but I believe they were not all at that time idle; for -upon inquiry, and search, I found them in an other chamber together, -where I suppose she had fully performed the agreement for her cloaths to -the content of the Scrivener, who now after a fresh bottle of wine, and -payment of the reckoning which was no small one, hearty farewels given, -and taken of his Mistress, her companion, and the Matron, we left that -house, and taking coach ordered the Coach-man to drive to the next -Tavern to my Master, where we called for a room, wine, and a fire, he -gave me an Angel for my dayes service, and shifting himself put on his -ordinary, and gave me his best cloathes to lay up at my Masters, wishing -me to acquaint him that I had been in his company, and that would be -sufficient for my excuse: I thanked him for his kindness, and Civility, -and told him that his bounty had so tyed me to him, that I should at all -times be joyful if I might serve him: As for my bounty, said he, I shall -for the future be more free to you, and for mony you shall not want; for -I am alwayes in capacity to furnish my friends, having the command of a -great deal of cash, which I know well enough how to order to my own -advantage, and it is but reason that I should dispose of some as well as -my Master; for it is in my power to strip him of the greatest part of -his estate, and ruine him in his credit. I being inquisitive after -secrets, desired him to tell me how that Trade (which I supposed, only -consisted in the making a few small writings) could be so profitable: To -this he answered, that indeed it was true, they made not many writings, -but dealt in much money, and his Master had an extraordinary way; for -(persued he) if my Master wants two or three thousand pound, he can -quickly command it, though he began with nothing, and indeed had every -Bird her feather, he hath no estate: But he hath such slights, wayes, -and confederates, that he can do what he listeth: He hath one piece of -Brass hath yielded him two thousand pound: that is much, said I, and -there must be more in your Trade than I can imagine, and I would be very -glad to be acquainted with some of your Mysteries, and since you have -promised me your friendship, whatever you shall relate to me, shall be -surely and safely closeted up in my breast, and shall never by me be -offered to your prejudice, and it may be some of my advice in your -affairs may be profitable; for I have had much more experience in the -world than you imagine. This discourse, and some other arguments which I -used, induced him to give me a relation of many passages of his life: -But much of the _Knaveries_ of that mysterious Trade, which discourse he -began to me in this manner. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XIX. - -_The Scrivener recounts the Waggeries he committed the first three years - of his Apprenticeship, and his Masters first Cheats by counterfeiting - a Seal._ - - -When I first came to Prentice, my Master (by reason of the Wars, which -caused a general deadness in Trading) had but little to do: but he being -one of the confiding party, did thereby get acquaintance with several -rich men, and in short time by reason of the pretended sanctity, was -entrusted by a Usurer to put out five hundred pound, which he did to his -content; for he had a Lease of a City Companies which cost seven hundred -pound assigned for security. My Master never having dealt in money -before, and now finding the sweetness of _Procuration_, and making of -writings, longed to be at it again: but though he had moneys offered him -to put out, yet he could not meet with any security to content; for -personal security by reason of the casualty of the Wars, was generally -disliked, and Land in the Country was for the same reason refused, and -only Leases in _London_, or Lands about _London_, was counted sufficient -and approved of, wherefore this Companies Lease, on which he had -procured monies did run much in his head, wishing for such another -security, and projecting somewhat, which since he had put in execution, -as I will tell you by and by: but I will first acquaint you how I -behaved my self for the first three years of my time, whereby my Master -took so good a liking to me, as to communicate his secrets to me. My -Master was alwayes good natur’d, and kind to me: but on the contrary, my -Mistris was cross and froward, so that I could seldome get a good word -from her, and she would still employ me in several pieces of drudgery, -as to carry burthens from _London_ to our Countrey House, and then I -must bring back from thence fletten or skim’d Milk, on which we must -feed two or three daies in the week, when my Master would allow good -roast Beef, which she would send for away: but I was still even with her -for her niggardliness, and when I came to the Country House, I would -usually get my share of the Cream; and being a lover of the Pies and -Puddings, steal some from her. One time I being in the Larder, had a -great mind to a bak’d-pudding that was there, but at first durst not -meddle with it, because it was with other good cheer to be served up at -the Table to Dinner, where were some guests: but for all that, the -lovliness of the Pudding made me to take my knife, and turning it upside -down, cut out one half of it, and so turning it down again, left it to -be served hollow to the Table: but I departing for _London_ e're Dinner -was served, I know not how the Maides came off. At other times when I -came to the Countrey House, if the fruit of the Orchard were ripe, then -the gate was lock’d, and I was not admitted therein, but I would have my -share by day or night; for I once invited some of my Confederates to -Church thither on a Sunday, and in the Sermon time went with them and -rob’d our own Orchard, which no body else durst attempt because of our -Mastiff; nay, I went once from _London_ at midnight, and having some of -my Copesmates with me I entred the Orchard, and fetcht out the fruit -which I would be sure should be of the best, and choicest of all the -ground, and gave it to my Companions, and so we returned loaden to -_London_; and thus did I vex her for her niggardliness, and although my -Master did well enough suspect me, yet he would only laugh at my -Mistriss when she was most passionately angry, and say, she was but -rightly served. But at length my Master had a Son, who when I first came -to Prentice was at Boarding-School: but in time growing up, his Mother -had a great desire to have him live at home and be a Clerk: for my -Masters employment encreasing, I gained moneys, and bought me some fine -Cloathes, and wore a Watch in my pocket: at all which she was envious, -and desirous that her Son might enjoy what I did, and therefore bound he -was to his Father, and though this happened three years after I came, -yet such was the injustice that I had done me, that he was not only -placed before me in a seat, but I was commanded to make clean his -shooes, and attend him, as if he had not been a Servant. This though I -was forced to comply with, yet I was resolved to be revenged of, and -therefore set my wits to work; I did clean his shoos, but in the edges -instead of greazing them, I anointed them with _Aqua fortis_, and he -putting them on, and going to the further end of _London_, the soles of -the shoos fell from the Upper-leathers, they being so eaten by the _Aqua -fortis_, and he sate at the Coblers stall whilst they were randed -together again. He was of so covetous a disposition (like his Mother) -that though he had moneys in his pocket, yet he would seldom spend any -at the Ale-house, and therefore sate at the Coblers stall two hours, -whilst his shoos were made fit for him to walk with, and then he came -home and was soundly chidden by his Father, my Master, for his so long -stay, which pleased me very well that he should be blamed for that fault -whereof he had been so often guilty. He being of a sneaking peering -humor, I could not be quiet for complaints he made of me, and by his -applying himself close to his business, he would dispatch as much -writing as I did: though I could when I listed, do twice as much in the -time, and when he had done, he would be making and mending his Pens -ready against business came in, but I would spoil all his Pens by -cutting one neb of them away somewhat shorter than the other, so that -when he came to write, he had his Pens to mend or new make, and so -curious he was, that his Ink must be in a particular Standish by its -self, whereto I would often put Oyl, so that it would not write; and -then for his Parchment, he would choose the best skins, and give me the -worst being greasie: but I would in his absence greaze his Parchment by -rubbing it with a Candles end. Many other inventions I had to hinder and -cross him, I found two pair of his Gloves one time, and bestowed some -Cow-lich in all the seams on the inside of them, so that he putting them -on, his hands quickly fell to itching, and he to scratching, till they -were all bloudy, and so hot, that he was forced to put them in a pail of -water, and then he cut his Gloves in pieces, that he might see what was -in the inside, which was no small pleasure to me. He being a trouble and -vexation to my fellow-servants as well as to me, they assisted me in my -waggeries and contrivances against him. In his Mothers absence at the -Countrey House, he kept the key of the Cupboard and Buttery, to hinder -us from the better sort of Victuals, but I soon got another key, and had -my full share of every thing, and when missed any thing, perswaded him, -the Rats and Mice bereft him of it. When my Mistriss came to Town she -would have her Lodging in the Chamber over the Kitching, because she -would hear if we sit up after her; it was a good while er'e I could -think of a way to cause her to remove her Lodging, but understanding -that she could not endure Rats and Mice, I got a great dead Rat, and in -the daytime put it into her bed between the sheets, so that she opening -her bed to go into it, and seeing the Rat, was so extreamly affrighted, -that she immediately left her Lodging, and went into another Chamber: -but she doubting that we would sit up a nights after she was gone to -bed, as indeed we often did, in Company of her Daughter, who was -somewhat better condition’d than her Brother, and had many Junkets and -Collations; she called her Son to watch, and he being willing to catch -us, would come down part of the stairs softly in his shirt to listen: -but we discerning his practice, strewed the stairs with pease, and -nointed the edges with soap, so that one night down he fell backwards, -and almost brake his Rib with the fall, and gave us timely notice to -shift away for our selves: his Mother hearing the noise, comming down -her self to help him, was served in the same kind, I hearing of this, -and all being dark, ran in my shirt and Breeches as if newly awaked, and -instead of helping them, went to the stairs and wip’d and rub’d them, -and conveyed away most of the pease, so that my Master by this time -being likewise up, and having a candle, did not distrust how they had -been served, but helping them up, and I assisting my young Master to go -to his bed, the next day he concluded the House was haunted by Spirits: -By this means we were rid of his watchings; for after he was once in his -Chamber of a night, he seldom came out again to watch us. But he would -commonly stay in the Kitchin till he saw us all going to bed, neither -would he permit me to come to the fire, upon which account we had a -bussel, and I gave my Gentleman such a fall, that caused him to remember -a good while after: but his Mother remembred me the next morning, for he -having acquainted her with the matter, she took upon her to revenge it, -which she did in this manner. I according to custom coming to the -Cistern for water, to water the shop before I swept it, having one -finger of one hand in the hole at the bottom of the bottle, and my -t'other hand being employed in holding the bottle, and being stooping at -the Cock of the Cistern my Mistress came near me, and there standing by -me in a Tub a parcel of durty clouts wherewith the maids had newly -washed down the stairs, she takes them up and slaps them about my face, -so that I looked as durty as a Chimney-sweeper; and not contented -therewith, she jouled my head against the Cistern: I thereupon standing -upright, and feling my self wet, faced her, who now opening her mouth, -made a great noise with her passionate exclamations against me for -abusing her Son; I let her goe on in her discourse, and apprehending a -way to be even with her, coming very near her, let my finger go from the -bottom of the bottle, and holding it over her, it ran all upon her, so -that she then having a great belly soon felt her self to wet through, -and then she would have been at me again, but I shewed her a fair pair -of heels, and ran away. Thus was I still even with them both, and my -Master would seldom do any thing but laugh at what I did, taking much -notice of my unhappy wit; for let her and her Son do all they could, I -would be sure to have my share of the best sort of the Victuals; and she -was of that dirty humor, that at a _Christmas_ when she made a Feast, -and a great deal of good chear was drest for her guests, she would then -afford us nothing but a dish of stew’d Turneps, Milk, Pottage, or at the -best, a leg of Beef; and though much Victuals were left in Platters, and -on Trenchers, that she bestowed on the Water-bearer or Chair-woman, that -they might report what a brave House she kept, and not a bit was given -to us his Servants, unless she had kept it so long till it was mouldy or -worse. Once I remember she promised us some Plumb-Pottage, and at the -time she made two pots full, I asking the maid wherefore so much was -made? she informed me, that one pot-full was much better than the other; -I being told which was the best when my Master and Mistress were at -Dinner, got a good Bason full of the best, and set it by for my self, -and then mixed the rest so, so that we had all alike. But to lay aside -all these fooleries, and now to the purpose, my Master perceiving me of -a pretty smart wit, and fit for his purpose, he employed me in getting -of a Seal made, the which I did, and it was like unto the Companies, -which I told you was to the writing, upon which we lent 500_l._ He did -not tell me the use of it at present, but I soon found it out; for not -long after a Deed was made, and the Seal being put to it, my Master -caused one who was his Confederate to bring it to our shop at such a -time as he had a Usurer in his company who wanted security for moneys. -In comes our Gentleman, and calling my Master aside, asked him if he -could procure 500_l._ upon such a Companies Lease? Yes reply’d my Master -if it be a good one; whereupon the Lease was produced, and the Usurer -being there present look’d on it, and liked it so well, that he agreed -to lend 400_l._ upon it: This at first would not please the Gentleman, -because he pretended he was to pay 500_l._ but the value of the Lease -being counted and reckoned at no more than 600_l._ he was contented at -my Masters perswasions to accept of 400_l._ upon that security, and my -Master promised him to furnish him with a 100_l._ more on his Bond of -another person, a friend of his. Thus this business was made up, and -assignment or mortgage being made of this Lease, the money was paid, and -my Master as I soon understood, had 350_l._ thereof, and the Gentleman -50_l._ and I was likewise rewarded with twenty shillings, which the -Gentleman gave me. Thus said the Scrivener, was my Master first -beginnings in Cheating, which indeed was but small to these many great -ones, which he soon after acted; of which you shall have an account in -the next Chapter. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XX. - -_He discourses of several of his Masters Cheats, whereby he gets his - Estate._ - - -With this Stock of 350_l._ my Master set up all his _Knaveries_, and -being unwilling to venture it all in one bottom, he lent a 100_l._ of it -in small sums to House-keepers, which they paid again by the week, and -gave him at least 40_l._ _per Cent._ for the use of it; for if he lent -five pound, they paid it by five shillings _per_ week, and had but four -pound ten shillings for their money, and my Master making the Bond in -another mans name, he had commonly five shillings, and sometimes ten -shillings for _Procuration_, and sometimes I had a shilling or two: thus -did he dispose of some. Others he lent upon _Bommeree_, which was thus: -If he lent ten pound, he was to have fifteen pound for it on such a day, -or the return of such a ship, which should first happen; and though -there was no such ship in the world came home, yet the time would come, -and then it must be paid; and this being counted an adventure, he could -take what interest he pleased, as it is customary with Merchants to -venture upon _Bottomrie_; that is, on the bottom or keel of the ship and -then for security of payment of the money, though the ship should -miscarry, they are wont to insure it at the Insurance-Office; but my -Master needed no such charge or trouble for insuring any ship, for he -was sure the day would come, though the ship never did; and thus did he -make forty or fifty pound in the hundred: but he being once bit and sued -in equity, afterwards took a more strict course, for he seldom lent any -money thus, but he would include in the Condition of the Bond a warrant -to confess a Judgement, upon default of payment: and to be sure when the -time came, and the money not paid, he filed his Bond, which was warrant -to confess Judgement, and thereby obtained a _Scieri facias_, to take -execution on the body or goods of the debtor, who little dreamt thereof, -and then he seized all the penalty, to the undoing of some; and he -seldome lent unto any, but he had two or three bound for security, and -that he might not be blamed nor sued, he made his Bonds and Judgements -in the name of one who was his Confederate, and was was a Prisoner in -the Kings-Bench, so that when the penalty was recovered, it was to no -purpose to sue him. And by degrees being now in Credit, and having -moneys of other persons to dispose of, he would seldome lend any but -upon morgages, because under the pretence of being paid for writings -(which he would be sure to make large enough) he would sometimes take -five pound for procuring a hundred, and say, though indeed six _per -Cent_ was as much as his friend the Usurer would take, yet he was forced -every six moneths to present him with somewhat that should be equal to -eight pound _per Cent_, and withal, that he was at charge not only to -imploy one at first to enquire of the Security, but he was at the charge -of a Coach to go to see the estate, and then he will reckon so much for -his pains, so much for loss of time, so much for writings, and so much -for expences, and so much for expedition, and all this must be deducted -out of the money: when the six moneths came that the money was due, then -he must have the interest, and so much for _Continuation_; and this was -a courtesie if he let them go so: but if the borrower came not, and -readily at the time brought the interest and _Continuation_-money, he -had several wayes to bring them in, for suddenly a _Declaration_ of -Ejectment was drawn up and delivered to the Tenant or Tenants in -possession of the premises, who being frighted at the matter, presently -goes to the Landlord, who sensible of the matter, hies him to us. If -this will not do, then an Officer is feed to enter an Action and Arrest -the Borrower, who then is forced to come and comply upon extraordinary -disadvantageous terms; for after much entreaty, my Master may be -perswaded to continue it, the interest-money being paid, as also -_Continuation_-money, charge of _Declarations_ of Ejectment (for which -we will rekon five or ten shillings paid to an Attorney, though it were -done by my Master, or me by his command) it may be twenty shillings, or -forty shillings, for the Arrest, though it may be not above half a Crown -was paid for it; and then there must be at least twenty shillings, or -forty shillings, to my Master for his pains, and if the borrower be not -willing to pay all this charge, then will my Master see an Attorney in -earnest, and proceed upon the _Declaration_ of Ejectment, and in short -time get the possession of the estate: and thus put the poor borrower to -ten pound charge, and if he refuse to pay this, he shall fair worse; for -although in equity the lender of the money can hold the premises no -longer in his hands than till he is paid his Debt, Interest, and charges -out of the rent, yet my Master will so order the matter, that the -borrower shall never have the estate again; for (pretending that the -lender wanted his money, and was forced to sell the estate to raise it) -he will pass it away to another, a Confederate, for the bare money, -interest, and charges that is due on it, or it may be, five or ten pound -more; and this is all the poor borrower can get in equity, which will -cost him more the recovering than it is worth. Thus have we often had an -estate worth two hundred pound, for only fifty pound and interest, and -the poor borrower is forced to be quiet, not having any remedy. When an -estate is mortgaged to us, we seldom let it go out of our hands; for if -the money lent be not brought and paid just on the day, then we put the -borrower off till the next six moneths, refusing to deliver up the -writings, and then it becomes forfeited, so that we force them to sell -it to us, or give extraordinary fees, to cause us to release our -interest; especially if we discover it to be sold to another, we refuse -to shew the writings, and so weary out the borrower with delays and -pretences, _&c._ But this was but small game, to what we after played, -as I shall presently tell you, for the 350_l._ being all put out in -parcels, and though they often returned with profit enough, yet it was -very hard to get 400_l._ together to pay the money that was borrowed, -for now it had been lent a year, and the Usurer, though he hath never so -good security, yet he loves to see his money sometimes, especially when -he deals with a stranger, as the man was that borrowed it; and though my -Master might have cheated him of his money, yet he was unwilling so to -give over, but proceed in his Trade which had gained him so much: -wherefore my Master upon search and inquiry, found that the same Company -(whose Seal he had Counterfeited) had a parcel of Land in the Countrey, -not far from _London_, which they had let to a wealthy Citizen, who had -given over Trading for some years, and now lived in the Country: My -Master getting the particulars of this Land soon makes a Lease, and with -the help of his Counterfeit Seal, makes it authentick, so that without -much trouble he procures a thousand pound to be lent upon it by another -Usurer who lived private, and the business was so ordered, that the -Usurer was well enough contented without seeing the Land: my Master gave -his old Confederate forty pound to personate the borrower, and then he -paid in the four hundred pound that was formerly borrowed, so that only -he thereby engaged that Usurer to him, who now had so good an opinion of -my Master, that he soon made it up fifteen hundred pound, and desired -him to procure him either good security, or a purchase for it: all which -was done in a fair way, to the Usurers content, and my Masters profit; -and thus did our Trade increase, my Master getting much money, and many -a Crown, and half piece came into my pocket; for he knowing that I was -privy to the first Cheat, did humor me very much, and took his Son off -from abusing me, and caused every body that borrowed money to give me -some gratuity for expedition, so that I had money enough, and the -keeping of all my Masters Cash is committed to my charge: My Master had -one rare contrivance lately, which I will tell you of whilst it is in my -minde; and thus it was, he had a Kinswoman who had long lived with him, -and some moneys he had of hers in his hands, which was a Legacy formerly -given her by another. This Maid being Courted by a Shop-keeper in way of -Marriage, the match went forwards, and was agreed upon on these terms; -the Shop-keepers Father was to give him a hundred pound in money to put -him into Stock, and my Master was to give his Kinswoman fifty pound, -this being agreed on, my Master takes the young man aside, and thus -discourses him: _Young man, here have I agreed to give fifty pound with -my Kinswoman, which gains you a hundred pound of your Father, now I -having not ready money by me, must borrow this fifty pound, for which -you must be bound with me, and when it becomes due I will pay it; This I -say you must do without acquainting your Father, and so the business -shall be done, and I pray be a good Husband_, _&c._ The young man soon -consented, the marriage was consummated, and all things went well for a -while, but within twelve months the young couple having run out all, my -Masters Kinswoman came again to her Uncle to acquaint him with their -condition, and desire his advice and assistance; my Master was much -troubled at this chance, for he expected the contrary, and intended to -get back the fifty pound for which end he had the young man bound, that -he might be forced to pay the money, when in a condition; but seeing it -was otherwise, he considered the matter, and wish’d her to send her -Husband to him, and be patient, and make no words, and all should be -well: her Husband according to order came, and after several checks past -for his ill husbandry, he asked him if his Father knew any thing of his -Condition? no, said the young man, I have kept it from his knowledge, -and he thinks I thrive in the world, and is glad of it; well then, said -my Master, you know I gave you fifty pound, for which you were bound, -and indeed it is still unpaid: now if you will be contented to pay that -fifty pound in, I will raise you two hundred pound, so that you shall -have fifty pound more in ready money, and then see how good a Husband -you will be. To this the young man gladly consented, and my Master soon -after took occasion to meet and drink with his Father, and after some -other discourse, they joyntly talked of the young mans thriving in the -world, and were both glad of the match, and good husbandry: but said my -Master, now I think on it, there is now an opportunity of doing him much -good if he had more money, and therefore you would do well to furnish -them; I shall not be backward, replies the Father, upon a good account, -therefore I pray tell me the business: My Master thereupon told him, -that with two hundred pound more he might be bravely settled and -furnished, for the Lease of his House is to be sold, and I can get it -for a hundred pound, and that is a rich penny-worth, and the other -hundred pound, I would have him to lay out in furnishing his shop more -plentifully, than now it is. Truly reply’d the old man, this would do -well: but I have no money at present, neither if I had, should I be -willing to part from any more than a hundred pound at a time; Well for -that, said my Master, if you please, I will manage the matter: Thus will -I procure two hundred pound for the young man; nay, and I have so great -a love for him, that I will be bound with him and you for it, and when -it shall be due, you shall only pay a hundred pound of the money, and -your Son the t'other: To this the old man after some pause, and a little -consideration consented, the business was done, and the money paid. My -Master indeed being acquainted with the Landlord of the young man’s -House, gained a Lease of it for eighty pound, and made the young man -allow a 100_l._ and deducting the fifty pound he had formerly given him, -he gave him the t'other fifty pound. Thus had my Master his fifty pound -again, and twenty pound for his pains in the business. When the money -became due, my Masters Confederate, the Usurer, in whose name the Bond -was made, demanded the money of the young man, where there was none to -be had; and the old man was willing to pay only a hundred pound of it -according to Contract, where shall I have the rest, said the Usurer? why -truly said the old man, if my Son cannot pay you, then let his wives -Uncle, meaning my Master: But course was soon taken otherwise, and my -Master being first, and principle in the Bond, made no more ado, but -confessed Judgement, and thereupon Execution was taken out against them -all, but served only upon the old man, who was forced to pay all the -money. Thus my Master, by being principle in the Bond saved himself, -regained the fifty pound he had formerly lent, and gained twenty pound, -besides making of Writings; and this, said he, will serve to help my -Kinswoman when I see occasion. I having heard him with good attention, -and considering with my self my own petty Rogueries, and how -inconsiderable they were in comparison of what he had related to me, -could not but burst out into admiration, and told him, that I saw the -world was an absolute Cheat: and now I find that saying to be verified -which I had often heard, That the World consisted but of two sorts, -_Knaves_ and _Fools_, and that the one lived by out-witting and Cheating -the other; and if there were any honest men, they were such as onely -lived a contemplative life, and dealt not in this world; their whole -thoughts being taken up in the Contemplation of another; Truly, reply’d -the Scrivener, if you had known so much as I of all sorts of people (for -we deal with people of all Qualities and Professions) you would conclude -so indeed: and as the poor mans ability will not carry him high enough -to Cheat so much at first, so he attempting it, and being discovered, is -quite lost: but if a rich man, or any who had success in _Knavery_ sets -upon it to get an Estate, it is soon compassed, and the folly and -easiness of many honest borrowers enriches the Knavish lender. Thus we -both concluded, as sufficiently evidenced by the Examples he had given -me: and therefore I desired him to proceed, which he did in this manner. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXI. - -_He proceeds in discovering several considerable Cheats of his Masters, - whereby he grows very rich: also some Cheats of his own, and so - concludes._ - - -My Master (continued the Scrivener) being now possessed of a thousand -pound in ready money, there fell out an opportunity of good advantage; -(and I have observed it, that there is no loss, but profit enough to be -gained in keeping five hundred pound alwayes in a readiness in Cash, -especially in our Trade, where so many offers for sale of Land and -Houses are daily made.). The Landlord of my Masters House was lately -dead, and his Son and Heir being a wild blade, soon spent all the ready -money his Father left, and all the Debts he could well get in; and now -to selling of some of his Houses he must go, and my Master being known -to be a moneyed man, and a Scrivener, was thought the best Customer: He -therefore propounds borrowing of five hundred pound, but my Master being -now possessed of a round sum, and hoping to have a good penny-worth, was -very willing to buy. The young man and some friends were unwilling, and -could not agree upon terms, and my Master at last consents to lend the -money, provided he may have a mortgage of all that estate in that place, -which amounted to two hundred pound _per annum_, was worth three -thousand pound, and said he, you shall not need to make me an absolute -assignment or sale of it all, only a Lease at a Pepper Corn a year for -one and twenty years: But to confirm it, and for a Collateral security, -you must give me a Statute Staple, to which our young man and his -friends consented. The Lease was made, and a Statute for a thousand -pound entred into, and the money paid and lent for six moneths only. The -noise of this, and my Masters other Trading, brought him into great -esteem both with lenders and borrowers, so that his _Name_ being up, he -may lie a bed till noon, and yet get money enough. A purchase of Land in -the Country was offered, and my Master bought it for a thousand five -hundred pound, of which he borrowed upon a Lease of part of it. The six -moneths quickly came about wherein his young Landlord was to pay the -five hundred pound: but (according to my Masters expectation) he failed, -and then it was to be sold, my Master agreed to give two thousand five -hundred pound for it, and so they struck up a bargain, five hundred he -had received before, a thousand pound he made a shift to borrow upon the -mortgage of the Land he had lately purchased; (for, though as I told you -he borrowed five hundred pound of the money when he purchased the Land, -and gave a mortgage of part of it for security, yet he keeping the -principal Writings in his hands, concealed that mortgage, and now -borrowed a thousand pound more of it) five hundred pound more he raised -in ready money of his own, which was two thousand pound, and for the -other five hundred pound, the remainder of the two thousand five hundred -pound: his young Landlord took his Bond for the money, not questioning -his security for five hundred pound, that could pay two thousand pound -ready money, neither indeed had he occasion as yet for it. This being -concluded, the money being paid, and writings seal’d, my Master would -not remember to give up the Statute he had for a thousand pound, but he -had another now for five thousand pound for security of his bargain, and -the young man never so much as desired a _Defeazance_ upon the Statute, -but mark what follow’d. The youngster in short time, keeping riotous -company, wasting his body as well as purse, died; and his younger -Brother seized on his estate that was unspent: and among other things, -on my Masters Bond of five hundred pound, and soon after demanded it; -though my Master at first was non-plus’d, yet he soon bethought him of a -way how to discharge and acquit himself of it: and thereupon returned -this answer. It is very true, your Brother and I had much dealing, and I -did give him such a Bond which I am ready to pay to his Executor, which -you tell me you are, provided you pay me what he likewise owed unto me: -why, reply’d the young man, did he owe you any moneys? yea, said my -Master; and whereas you produce a Bond, which is indeed a very good -speciality, I shall produce somewhat that is higher, and indeed the -highest security that can be given for any Debt, and that is a Statute -Staple: and thereupon he produced one Statute first, that was given for -a thousand pound upon borrowing of the five hundred pound; nay, but said -the young man, I suppose that this was part of the money that was for -the purchase of your dwelling house and others; for that, said my Master -I can shew you a particular Receipt for all the money under his hand and -seal, and also a general acknowledgment in the Deed of conveyance: -wherefore this money I must have you pay me first, and afterwards I -shall talk with you further; what do you mean by further talk said the -young man? why, said my Master, I mean to have of you all that your -Brother owed me, which is much more than you think for: for he and I had -great dealings together for a greater sum of money than all this, as I -shall further shew you; and thereupon he produced the second Statute, -which was for five thousand pound. This demand of my Masters so vexed -the young man, that he departed, and soon began his course at Law -against my Master, but he took a wrong sow by the ear, for he finding -whereabouts he intended on his two Statutes, was too quick for this -youngster, and gained a _Liberate_, which he delivered to the Sheriff, -who served it upon all the estate of the deceased; so that by this means -all that was unspent of the dead young mans estate (amounted in Land to -the value of four thousand pound) came to my Masters hands, and yet he -sayes he is unsatisfied: and the young man the Brother of the deceased -cannot help it, for by this means he is bereft of all Estate to go to -Law: and when money and means is wanting, friends are scarce; besides, I -know not how he can avoid it, his Brother not having taken a -_Defeazance_, as he ought to have done. Here was a matter worth playing -the _Knave_ for, and would induce some men to leave off: but my Master -had so good success in his proceedings, that he is resolved to proceed -in them. The money that he borrowed on all the Mortgages, both -Counterfeit Leases and others, he soon paid off, and yet left himself -worth above three hundred pound _per annum_, and money in his purse. -Thus having a good estate, and now being full of imployments, both for -buying, selling, borrowing, and lending: he always keeps a good Bank of -money. If any purchase of Land come at twelve or thirteen years -purchase, he buyes it, because he knows of a Customer that will give -fifteen or sixteen. And thus he will gain five hundred pounds in a weeks -time. We lately had one business worth all the rest, and which hath now -made him weary of getting money: A Knight having a Lordship in the -Country worth two thousand pound _per annum_, comes first to borrow -money, and grants a Lease and Statute upon the borrowing of two thousand -pound: this my Master lent himself of his own money, the Knight within a -moneth or two being to marry a Daughter, wants two thousand pound more, -which was likewise promised on the same security: by this time my Master -was somewhat drained of his ready money, and knowing that the Knight -would soon be with him again, he casts about how to raise more: which -thus he does, he borrows 1500_l._ upon a Lease of part of his purchase, -of his dwelling house and others, and keeps the grand Writings in his -hands; he borrows a thousand pound on his Land in the Country, and of -another party he borrows fifteen hundred pound more upon a Lease of part -of his purchase of his dwelling house and others, keeping still the -grand Writings in his hands: and thus having eight thousand pound ready -money, he goes to the Knight, and upon treaty, agrees to give him thirty -two thousand pound for his estate, which price being concluded on, he -borrows two thousand pound upon his dwelling house and others, and then -parts from the grand Writings, and Covenants that the estate is free of -Incumbrances, though he had twice mortgaged it in part: and thus having -raised ten thousand pound, he borrows twelve thousand pound more upon -part of his new purchase, and the Knight is contented to take the -t'other ten thousand pound in full of the purchase, at two six moneths, -and only takes my Masters Bond: this was lately settled and agreed upon, -and all Writings made, and I doubt the Knight will come short of his -money; for my Master hath so many Statutes which the Knight never dreams -of, having still given them without taking _Defeazances_, that I believe -he will be cut off from his Debt, and so must the _Usurer_ that lent my -Master the twelve thousand pound upon a mortgage of part of his new -Lordship; for my Master being resolved to make this a piece of wit, and -to do his utmost to cheat them all, did the next day after the Purchase -was made, and Writings sealed, cause us to sit up all night, and make an -absolute bargain and sale of all that his new purchase to two friends in -trust, for the use of his Children, so that the Usurer who lent his -twelve thousand pounds, had not his Writings of Assignments sealed till -a week or ten dayes after, and when the time comes for payment, he may -be chous’d and defeated of all, and my Master being Master of an Estate -of two thousand pounds _per annum_, may live and laugh at them all for -their credulity; for he hath so ordered it that the Law cannot touch the -Estate, it may only reach his person, and as for that, we know it is but -a _Kings-Bench_ matter, and there he may live all his life time, and -spend like a Lord, and when he dies his Debts are paid, and his Estate -goes to his Children. But if he hath success for two or three more such -businesses as this last, he need not do so, but leave the Cheat to the -last Cast, and grow infinitely rich, as I question not but he will. - -Thus, said our Scrivener, have I given you an account of my Masters way -to get money, and I have not been without mine: he would many times -permit me to cheat a little, because I assisted him and was privy to his -concerns. I have one way that brings me in twenty or thirty pounds _per -annum_; for all Deeds of Bargain and Sale are to be Enrolled in six -moneths after the date, either in _Chancery_, if it be Land or Houses -out of _London_, or in _Guild-Hall_, if within _London_ or the Liberties -thereof; and I was once forced to trot to _Chancery-lane_ four or five -times for one Deed before I could get it done, and when it was done, all -that was to be seen on the Deed was, _Inrolled_ such a Day and Year in -_Chancery_, _per me_ such a one. I seeing that, learned to write the -Hand, they use in Endorsing, and for the future only writ it my self on -the back side to shew our Clients, and that was sufficient; for not one -in a thousand is search’d for, and this is only done in case the Deed be -lost, so that I now have got the trick on't to write on the back-side my -self, and put that money the Register should have into my own pocket, -and that is a pretty quantity, for an indifferent Deed comes to twenty -shillings, at so much _per_ Roll. Forty other wayes have I to get -moneys, and indeed I need not invent wayes, for our Trade is so great -for _Procuration_ and _Continuation_, and such like, that I get money -enough more than I can well tell how to spend. - -I will now conclude, onely tell you a story or two, how I have initiated -my self in this Art of _Knavery_, for my time being suddenly to expire, -I thought it necessary to try some expedients how I might live hereafter -when I came to be for my self; and knowing that my Master could not do -any thing at first without a Confederate (some body to help and assist -him) I procured the like: We had many indigent persons that came to -borrow money, some Gentlemen, others decayed and decaying Citizens; -amongst the rest a Master of a Ship, who had made so many broken voyages -that he could make no more, for he had wearied all his Friends with -holding parts of Ships with him to their great loss; but he holding to -the Proverb, _That a Sea-man is never broken till his neck is broken_, -was resolved to try his fortune one bout more, and had now with the help -of Friends made a shift to buy an old Barque of near a hundred Tun, in -which he was minded to go to Sea, partly as a Man of War, and withal to -bring home prohibited Goods from _France_. This man was an earnest -suiter to borrow an hundred pounds upon _Bottomry_, or any wayes, to -victual and fit his Ship; I finding him ingenious, after some conference -with him, and he being willing for any Undertaking, we concluded to go -half snips in the profit of his Voyage, and I would furnish him with -moneys to his content: I soon perswaded an easie friend of mine who had -more money than wit, to lend our Captain an hundred pounds, promising -him great profit, and indeed he was to have fifty in the hundred for -that Voyage, which was to be finished in two moneths, and I told him -that he might ensure his money at the _Ensurance Office_, which he did -accordingly. Our Captain being furnished with a hundred pound of the -Usurer, I made bold with an hundred pound more of my Masters, which -could not soon be missed out of the Cash, and with this the Ship was so -bravely fitted and provided with all Necessaries, that he was offered -Fraights enough. At last he concluded with one to bring over some rich -Goods, and the times being dangerous at Sea, by reason of Men of War at -Sea, he ensured five hundred pounds upon the Ship. - -The Ensurers knowing this, and that the man who ensured was a -substantial Merchant, mistrusted nothing; but likewise ensured five -hundred pounds more to the Captain, because he had laid out much in -fitting the Ship, and did it as he pretended for satisfaction of the -Owners. All things being thus fitted, our Captain leaving his Policy or -Deed of Ensurance with me, put out to Sea, arrived at his Port, received -the Goods on Board, but having a parcel of trusty Blades with him, and -some who had shares in the purchase, he puts the best part of the -Merchandize on Board of a small Barque he had hired for that purpose, -and that being sent ashore to another Port, he soon after ran his Ship -ashore in such a place as he was not likely to come off, and there she -perished, he and his companions getting on shore with some small matter -of Goods in the Long-boat: He being arrived on shore, soon writ word to -me how he had sped, and I being acquainted very well with the Ensurers, -perswaded them to pay me the money he had ensured first, upon some small -rebate; and he on the other side selling the Merchandize on shore, put -it into other commodities and sent them home, and himself came home as a -distressed passenger, and here the Ensurers paid for all: Such bouts as -these they sometimes met with, and that so often, that now adayes when a -Merchant hath ensured, he had need to ensure on the Ensurers, and some -have done so. - -When our Captain came home, we privately met and shared our profit, and -by this I gained two hundred pounds for my share, and this was a good -beginning; and though I hazarded to Sea, yet there was less hazard then -my Master underwent in his first attempt in Counterfeiting a Companies -Seal; for should he have been discovered, sorrow would have been his -sops. I have now and then had five or ten pound given me at a time for -altering a Will, and putting in more as Legacy to one than the Testator -intended, and this I would venture on without much hazard, if the -Testator were sick to death. My Master once made a Will, and instead of -another, made himself Executor, and I and one more of the Confederacy -were witnesses to it, by this means he gained near three hundred pound. - -I have oftentimes had a Piece or two given me to make Writings in favour -of one man more than another; for in a Lease, if Rent reserved be -100_l._ _per annum_, and there be no Covenant for payment of the Rent, -when either of the parties die, if any Rent be behind due to the Lessee, -it cannot be recovered by the Executors, Administrators, or Assigns of -the Lessor, because there was no Covenant between them in behalf of -their Executors, Administrators and Assigns; and it hath been usual in -all ancient Leases to leave that Covenant out as needless, but now -people are grown wiser by experience. - -In arbitration between parties there is much cunning and knavery to be -used, in drawing up an Award, or final End; for the Scrivener, if he be -a friend to, or favour either of the parties, shall do it so as that it -shall be void, or not authentick, or not obliging to one of the parties, -and yet the Arbitrators who are commonly honest harmless men, think they -have done their business, when as they have only made more work for -Lawyers. - -In _Counter-Bonds_ there may be much partiality used, as also in -_Letters of Attorney_, only putting in _his use_, for _my use_, entitles -the Attorney to receive all to his own use without any account; and such -a thing as this is often slipt over, or not understood, and many a good -piece and Half-piece comes into our pockets in a year for these actions. - -It was like to go very hard with one of my Masters acquaintance not long -since, for he being skilled in counterfeiting of Hands, did very -artificially counterfeit a Citizens Hand (with whom he had some small -dealing) to a Bond of 400_l._ to pay 200_l._ with interest at a day, and -when the time came he asked him before some company to pay him that -money that he then owed him: Yes, said the Citizen, I shall do it next -week, meaning a small sum which he did directly owe him, and did then -pay him, but the other then telling him of his Bond of 400_l._ and the -Citizen directly denying it, a Suit was commenced, and Tryal was had at -the _Kings-Bench_ Bar in _Westminster-Hall_, where the innocent Citizen -(seeing the confidence of the Witnesses, and indeed his own hand, as he -supposed, to the Bond, which he could not deny but it was so, or very -like) and having nothing to say, in a passion cryed out in open Court, -_to desire God to revenge his Cause, for he was utterly and absolutely -wronged_. This being so solemnly protested, made not only the Judge but -the Jury a little more inquisitive into the matter than ordinary, and -called for some papers to compare the hand with other of his -handwriting, but no difference could be found therein. The Bond thus -passing about to every one of the Jury, one of them viewing the Bond -more narrowly than ordinary, craved leave of the Judge to be discharged -of his place as a Jury-man, and to be admitted & sworn as a Witness; for -my Lord, saith he, I can say somewhat to the matter. This his request -was assented to, and he being sworn, began in this manner, _My Lord, -this Bond here in Court is pretended to be made, sealed, and delivered -nine moneths since, when, my Lord, this Paper whereon it is written, -hath not been in_ England _above four moneths_. How do you know that? -said my Lord. The Jury-man replyed, _My Lord, I am a_ Stationer _or_ -Paper-seller, _and to all Paper there are several marks whereby we know -and distinguish them; As_ Pot, Piller, Crown, Cardinals-Armes, &c. _and -my Lord, this being such a sort of Paper was made by a young man in_ -France, _whose mark is here, and none of it came over till within these -four moneths_. At this the Judge was satisfied, all people wondred, the -Defendant rejoyced, and the Plaintiff with his Swearers were forced to -sneak out of the Court, and could not presently be heard of. - -I once was called to make a Will, and the party lying speechless, -another there present dictated to me, telling me, that the sick man he -was sure would consent to what he said, which I believing, proceeded and -finished the Will, but when I came to have him sign it, I saw that he -was dead: well, said the party that dictated, if you will be ruled by -me, this Will shall stand, and yet nobody forswear themselves, and said -he to me, you shall have a good reward for your consent. I being ready -to receive money, promised him my consent; whereupon, saith he, read the -Will, so I did: well, saith he, you see the party doth not at all -contradict what is here written, & now he shall set his hand and seal -thereto, which he did by guiding the dead mans hand: now, saith he, if -you be questioned, you may safely swear that you read the Will to him, -and he consented, or at leastwise did not contradict, and that you saw -him with his own hand sign, seal, and deliver the same. Well sir, said -I, if you are content I am; and thereupon he giving me the promised -reward, I subscribed as Witness, and left him, who soon after by vertue -of this Will possessed himself of the Estate. I had seen this trick of -putting a dead mans hand to Writings done two or three times before, and -so this was no new thing, and would not contradict any thing that was to -turn to my profit. - -I could tell you thousands of these Cheats, and indeed, as one said, -there is more mischief done with a dash of the Pen, than with any thing -else in the way of Knavery and Cheating. Thus did our Scrivener conclude -his Discourse, and we calling for another pint of Wine and a Faggot, -drank and warmed our selves, and so for that time parted. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXII. - -_The Book-sellers Prentice gives an account of his Masters first tricks - in Cheating, by Printing Books that were other mens Copies._ - - -After this conference with the Scrivener, I went home; and as he told -me, my saying to my Master that I had been with him was sufficient, so I -found it; for I was asked no more Questions, but went to bed; and there -did I recollect to my self, all that he had that evening told me: and -though I could not perfectly remember the several terms of Art he used, -as Judgement, Execution, _Scire facias_, Statute, Procuration, and -Continuation, _&c._ Yet I was sensible of their meaning, and did very -much wonder, how any man could sleep being guilty of so many crimes as -he and his Master were; yet I found that they slept the better, or at -leastwise fared the better, by reason of their great wealth; and then -did I compare my forepassed life, to what I had heard of them, and it -was not worth mentioning; so that from that time, I had a more -charitable opinion for my self then formerly. And since I had so good -success with my Scrivener, I was resolved to be a little more intimate -with the rest of the Society, especially the Book-seller, that I might -know how he gained his Money: and the next day I had my desire; for -meeting him abroad, we went to an Ale-house, and there did I discover to -him part of my yesterdays actions with the Scrivener, and thereby -induced him to make me this following Discourse. - -Truly Brother (for so we called one another) you have told me wonders, -though so admirable, that I could not have thought so much crafty -knavery could have been committed by any man breathing, though I did -believe that there was more then I understood, having always heard that -it was a dangerous thing to squeeze Wax, and that Scriveners in general -were cunning fellows, but that any man out of nothing should by tricks -and subtile contrivances, gain to himself so great an Estate, and yet -not run into the compass of the Law, but now I see the Proverbs -verified, _Nothing venture, nothing have, and that a blot is no blot -till it be hit, and give a man luck and throw him into the Sea_. And -although I have thought my Master a man cunning and crafty enough, and -did believe that he who deals in Books could not be outwitted, yet I see -that a piece of Parchment with a seal to it, is better then a great many -Books, nay then a whole Impression: but that I may give you some -satisfaction in what you desire, I shall proceed in my Discourse; and -though I cannot tell you so many, nor so profitable contrivances as you -have related to me, yet those of our calling deserve not to go much -behind, and we do our utmost good will to cheat, though it turns not to -so good an account. - -My Master when I came to Prentice had but a small stock of Books, and -those were all in his Shop, with which, together with some paper, -parchment, pens, and such like Stationers ware, he made a shift to pick -up an indifferent livelihood; but he being of a reaching brain, and -seeing there were very rich people, such as gained great Estates, and -lived bravely of the same trade: he made it his business to inquire into -their way: the most sorts of Books that we sold were Testaments, -Psalters, Grammars, Accidences, and such books as we call Priviledged -ware, and indeed were Printed for the Company in general, and to be had -of some of the Stock-keepers, or masters of the Company, or at the Hall, -and though our profit in selling these sorts of books was but small, as -not above two pence in the shilling, yet it was a certain commodity, and -the sale sure: whereas other books; either of Divinity, History, _&c._ -were not so certain, though more profitable, as commonly bringing four -pence in the shilling profit, and thus did we continue buying books of -other book-sellers, as we were asked for them, and had occasion; my -Master commonly keeping to one man, because he could there be trusted -and furnished, with any book he wanted, it fortuned that a new book -being printed, a small thing of about four or five sheets of paper: it -sold so well, that my Master went often for them to his wonted place: -one time they had none of them left, but desiring my Master to stay, -they would send for some; which my Master did, but the Messenger came -back without any, and brought word that he should not have any more of -them upon account or exchange, for he now held them at ready Money, and -that he would have, or part from none; well then, said my Master, I will -go thither and buy some my self. No, said the Master of the shop, you -shall not need, I’le send for some this once with ready Money, and you -shall have them cheaper of me then of him; and so he did, and he -received them and told me, that if he wanted any more, he could be very -well furnished with them within three or four days, and the other had -been better not to have served him so; but the book selling very well, -all my masters were gone that night; and I went my self to the -bookseller who printed them for some, the which I had; but the next day -I went again, he had none, and told me that I could not have any in a -weeks time. I acquainted my Master herewith, who being called upon for -some of them, went to his old place to see if they had any, they told -him they had none at present, but to morrow he might have what number he -pleased, accordingly the next day I went, and brought fifty of them with -me; and then my Master (beginning to suspect that which he afterwards -found out) sent me to the booksellers who printed them, and he had none, -wherefore he then concluded that the bookseller with whom he was wont to -deal had printed them, though they were none of his Copy, at which he -wondred: for the greater sort of booksellers did use to inform us that -it was a most heinous and unlawful thing to print another mans Copy, so -that I think, this was the first time that my master discovered this -Mystery, for the Book continuing to sell, we sold in our Shop above five -hundred of them; so that my Master begining to consider with himself, -reckoned that he had payd to his Dealer above five pounds for these -Pamphlets, and yet got very well by them too: wherefore not long after -coming into the company of a Printer, he asked what it would cost to -print 2000 of a Book of five Sheets of paper: the Printer replyed, Ten -pound: by this my master guessed that his Dealer had gained half in half -by him: for he had paid for 500, half what 2000 would cost. My Master -holding some further Discourse with this Printer over a pot of Ale, he -told him that he did work for such a man, naming the Bookseller with -whom my Master dealt, and saith he, I lately did two sheets for him of a -book he gained well by, for I printed 5000 for my share: so that at -length, after conference together, they concluded it was the same book -my Master sold so many of, and that he had printed it in three or four -places for expedition, and that he could not gain less then 30_l._ by -printing it: I but says my Master, how will he do to answer it to the -other man whose Copy it was? For that, said the Printer, he will do well -enough, for the other is but a young man, and light upon his Copy by -chance; and though the Law forbids such doings, as the printing one -anothers Copies, yet the great ones commonly devour and eat up the -little ones, and will venture on it being but a small thing; and it may -be this young man is indebted to the other: and indeed it is a usual -thing, and we do such Jobbs very frequently, especially for the Grand -ones of the Company. But how comes it, said my Master, that some or -other do not print their Copies, as Testaments, Psalters, _&c._ As for -that, said the Printer, it is very dangerous, for if they were taken, it -belonging to the whole Company, they would be sure to seize on it, and -sue the party so offending; besides, the books are too big for every one -to venture on, & will lie too long in hand a doing; but sometimes such -things are done, but in another way, as I can tell. Thus ended my Master -and the Printer their Discourse of this matter, and my Master desired -the printer to call on him some times, and he would drink with him; and -it may be have some employment for him, and thus they parted. My Master -now understanding thus much of his Trade, more than formerly, was -resolved it should not be long ere he were doing somewhat: thus -pondering in his mind, he could not tell what design to begin with, for -we sold very little but priveledged Ware, and those it was dangerous -medling with, neither would my Masters stock reach to any thing -considerable; at last resolving to play at small game rather then stand -out, he bethought himself, and resolved to print the _A B C_, a little -Childs book of a sheet of paper: he knew not then what printer to -intrust, for he durst not make use of the former Printer, lest he should -acquaint his Dealer; but it was not long ere he light upon one fit for -his purpose, and to work he went, my master sending in paper, and so -they were printed, delivered, and paid for, but when my Master had them, -he knew not how to dispose of them, lest he should be caught; but that -he might have the better pretence, he went and bought 300 of them of his -Dealer, and so laying them by, sold his own, and being acquainted with a -primer-binder, he got him to exchange with him for primers, and such -like small books he was rid of most of them to his great profit, for he -gained, as I have heard him say, above five pounds by that jobb, which -was then a great deal of money, and by this means his Shop was better -furnished with small books & paper, and now he had good credit with the -paper-Merchant, which before he could not have. Not long after, the -Printer who had printed the _A B C_ came to him and acquainted him, that -if he would venture a matter of ten pounds, he might be concerned in -printing of a book that would turn to a very good account and it may be -get twenty pound by the bargain: he having had such good success in the -last, ventures upon this, it was a Sermon that then sold very well, and -he had another partner, and my Master having some money by him, and -pretty good credit at the paper-merchants; he found paper, and the other -paid for printing, and at two places it was done in a Week; my master -putting them out in _London_ to the _Mercuries_ and others at one penny -a piece less then the ordinary rate, and his partner dealing with -Country-Chapmen, sent good store away into the Country; and thus, though -this was another mans Coppy, they sold all their books in a short time, -and gained 25_l._ a piece. This was a good beginning, said I to the -Bookseller, and I did not think your Trade had been so profitable; but -now I believe, that these courses being prosecuted, a considerable -Estate may be gained in a short time: that you shall soon hear, replied -he: but the Discourse being somewhat long, I shall for the present end, -and prosecute the rest in the following Chapter. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXIII. - -_He proceeds in the discovery of his Masters ways in cheating, in - preferring some Copies, and other ways of getting Copies._ - - -My Master having now had some experience in this way of printing, was -resolved to play above board, and get some Copy or Copies to print, that -he might own; which in short time he did, and glad was he to see his -name in print, supposing himself now to be some body: but these things -did him but little good, and sold but easily, he not having the way of -preferring books, and sending them to some Country Chapmen, and the rest -of the booksellers, who endeavor to crush any beginner, and will not -sell his books, unless they may have them at their own rate, would not -sell any of them for him? and besides, now he gave Mony for his Copies, -the other costing him nothing: and though a book be never so good, they -will not sell with some men, for the others will undervalue and spoil -it: as for example, If my Master had printed at that time the best book -of Chirurgery, Husbandry, Cookery, or the like in the World, and though -the book had been famous enough, so that every one desired it, and asked -at any booksellers shop for it, they would have said to their Customers, -Truly Sir, there is such a book, but in regard it is a foolish idle -thing, and of no weight, I have not any of them, I will not trouble my -shop with them; but Sir, here is another of the same Subject, that is -much better, and in great esteem with ingenious and knowing men: If the -Customer replies he would have only that book and no other, for that it -was recommended to him for an ingenious well-writ piece, then will he -reply, Truly Sir, I never heard any of your judgement before, till now I -was never asked for them; but since you speak so well of it, I will -procure you one: and then it may be, for all this Discourse he will shew -you one, as if left by chance, or else send to his neighbour-bookseller -for one. Thus will he disparage other mens books, and prize his own, and -many times put off some of his own, the buyer being so civil as to -believe him: and this is a general Maxime, That they will not offer, or -prefer a book of any mans printing except their own, unless they have it -either in exchange or at a low rate; and this is the cause that there -are some books as considerable, and good as any in _England_, that did -not sell at first for little better than wast paper, till some of the -Grand ones of the Company get them all into their hands, and then they -sell for three times the price they did. But to leave this Discourse and -proceed, my Master having now printed two or three things, did look upon -himself as somebody; and though he had not such good success in his last -undertakings as before, yet he made a shift to get what they cost him -for paper and print, and had many of them still by him to sell when he -would, or exchange; but he having but two or three sorts of books, could -not do much good upon that: he seeing this, and observing what books -sold best, it being at the beginning of these late Wars, found that -factious Sermons, and such like things would do the business; he -thereupon bestirs himself, and gets acquainted with most of the factious -Priests about Town, by often hearing them and frequenting their -Companies, and having learned to write short-hand, took notes of their -Sermons, which he collected together, and now and then he would get them -to revise one of them, and print it; by this means spending much time -and mony amongst them, he grew very intimate, and was become the general -publisher of most of their Sermons and Controversies. This was that -which brought him great gain, in a short time he could vie with the -best, what he sold not for mony, he exchanged for books: and now he -could command any book in all the Company without mony, upon account, as -is the Custome. His Shop being well furnished, he gets a Ware-house, -where he bestowed his books in quires; and being thus furnished, he was -first spoken to by some Country booksellers, and then writ to by them -and other, for severall books, so that any thing that he printed he -could sell off well enough; for having good hap to print some very good -selling books, they helped away the other that were not so good, and -still were thrust into the parcel among the rest: and now having some -good Authors, he would not accept of every one; and as he formerly had -sought for, and courted Authors to write books for him, now they -(knowing his way of preferring and selling of books) followed, and -courted him to print their books. If a stranger came with a Copy to him, -though never so good, he would tell them he had books enough already; -but however, if they would give him so much money, he would do it, and -they should have two, or three, or six books for themselves and friends: -many a one did he thus perswade out of their mony, being desirous to be -in print. If he had a desire to have any thing writ in History, Poetry, -or any other Science or Faculty, he had his several Authors, who for a -glass of Wine, and now and then a meals Meat and half a Crown, were his -humble servants; having no other hire but that, and six or twelve of -their books, which they presented to friends or persons of Quality; nay, -and when they have had success, if they wanted any more books, they must -pay for them: further I have known some of our Trade, that when a poor -Author hath written a book, and being acquainted with some Person or -persons of Quality whereto he Dedicates and presents it, the Book-seller -will go snips and have half shares of what is so given him. My Master -being now gotten to the height of his Trade, was soon called on to be -one of the Livery of his Company, which though it be somewhat chargeable -at first, yet it soon brings in profit, there being many conveniences -therein; for they have liberty to put in a sum of money into the publike -Stock, and so great is their profit, that they have seldome less then -twenty _per cent_, and then when, they come to be Stock-keepers or -Warden they have the disposing of the Stock-books, such as are -Testaments, Psalters, _&c._ and putting them out to print, they often -print so many over-numbers, that shall serve them as long as they live. -In particular, there is no Trade that I ever heard of, that gets so much -by their Commodity for whatever they print, if it sels, they get eight -pence in the shilling: and for those that deal with Country-Chapmen, -they put off the bad well enough at one time or another; and if they are -very bad, then a new title is printed as if it were a new book; and what -with this and changing, they march off in time. - -There was one preacher in _London_ that my Master was much respective -to, for he had gained much money by printing several of his books (and -though my Master in outward appearance seems a Saint, yet he hath his -freaks, and will be merry with his friends, and be prophane enough.) One -Sunday my master having been rambling in the fields, entred the City in -the afternoon just as sermon was done, and seeing this parson going -before him, he stept forwards, and overtaking him, salutes him thus, -Sir, I am glad to see you so well, indeed Sir, you have this day taken a -great deal of pains, and we are all beholden to you for your Soul-saving -Sermon: how say you, said the Parson, what do you mean? Why Sir, I thank -you for your Sermon you preached this afternoon: Nay, now Sir, said the -Parson, I see you are mistaken, for I have not preached this day, my -master hearing this, was wonderfully surprized, not knowing what to say, -but left the Parson and came home discontented at his error. We having -several Country-Chapmen, some whereof owed my master considerable sums -of mony, he took occasion to go into the Countrey, and to be sure, he -would make it worth his Journeys for at every considerable Town he would -buy some books, and sell them at the next, or send them up to _London_, -and sometimes whole Libraries; and he did take order with all his -Chapmen to acquaint him with all Libraries or parcels of books that were -to be sold, which if worth the buying he would have. He would also -frequent the Schools, and by drinking with the School-masters, and -discoursing of books and learned men, he would get their custome to -serve them with School-books. There was one famous Country-Parson whom -he much desired to be acquainted with, and to him he rid, telling him he -was troubled in mind, and desired him to satisfie him in a case of -Conscience, the which he did; and then for his satisfaction, and to -oblige him, he prayed and courted him to see him when he came to -_London_, the which he did, and all this was to get the printing of his -books. If a Customer comes into our Shop to buy a book, he hath such -ways of preferring and recommending of it, that they seldom go and not -buy, for he will open the book, and if it be Divinity, shew them one -place or another, out of which he will preach to them, and tell them, -that very saying or discourse is worth all the money in the world and if -they do not like it when they have read it over, he will take it again: -and so many of our Trade will promise, but you shall hardly ever get -your money again, you may chance to have them exchange it for some other -book, which they will be willing to do if there be money stirring in the -case. My Master having had a book written for him by a Poet, the Author -(not having the wit to make his bargain, and know what he should have -beforehand) when he had finished it, desired payment for his pains: Nay, -said my master, you ought rather to pay me for printing it, and making -you famous in print. Well then, said the Author, if you will not give me -money, I hope you will give me some books. How, said my master, give you -books, what will you have me forswear my Trade, and be a book-giver? I -am a book-seller, and to you I will sell them as soon as to another, if -you will give me money, paper and print costs money, and this was all -the Author could have for his pains. My Master is now one of the -Grandees of the Company, and that besides the ordinary way gets him -something. Not long since, he and others went a searching, and finding -an impression of unlicensed books, seized them, but instead of -suppressing and turning them to wast paper, they divided the greatest -part of them amongst themselves, and immediately my Master sent some of -them away to all his Chapmen, and the rest we sell in the Shop. It so -fell out lately; that a book being to be Printed, my Master repaired to -the Author to get the Copy, but another of the same Trade had been there -before, to whom it was in part promised; but however (out of respect to -my Master) the other being sent for, it was agreed that they should have -the printing of it between them; whereupon one printer was imployed by -them both to do the work. My Master soon after sent for the Printer, and -tells him, You must do me a kindness: Yes Sir, said the printer. It is -this, said my Master, I am to give away to the Authour some Books, -wherefore I would have you to print 200 for me above the number, and do -not tell my Partner, and I will pay you: Yes, said the Printer, and so -he did, and was paid for them accordingly. But the Printer seeing the -knavery of his imployers (for the other had been with him; and engaged -him to print the same number of 200 over, pretending some private use he -had for them) he likewise printed 400 over for his own use, and -publiquely sold them; and neither of them could or would complain of him -to the other, because they knew themselves guilty of the same crime. - -One of the greatest pieces of profit the whole Company hath, is the -printing of Almanacks, for by that, I believe, they clear above 1000_l._ -_per annum_: but a knavish Printer lately outwitted them, for he printed -a great number of Almanacks, and though he printed but two sorts, yet -they served for all the other sorts, only altering the Title page, at -the beginning, and the last sheet which we call the _Prog_, or -_Prognostication_; and these Almanacks he affording cheaper then -ordinary, as indeed well he might, he sold off a good number of them, -which was to his gain and their great hinderance; but he is lately -discovered, and how they will deal with him I know not. - -In the late times of Liberty, when every one printed what they pleased, -if one Bookseller printed a book that sold, another would get it printed -in a lesser Character, and so the book being less in bulk, though the -same in matter, would sell it for a great deal less price, and so -undersell one another: and of late there hath been hardly a good book -but it is epitomized, and for the most part spoiled, only for a little -gain: so that few books that are good, are now printed, only Collections -and patches out of several books; and Booksellers employing the meaner -sort of Authors in spoiling anothers Copies by such Epitomies. - -A young man being lately to set up, was a suiter to my Master to speak -to the Company to lend him 50_l._ for a certain time without interest, -as is customary: for there are several sums of money left the Company so -to be disposed of, for the benefit of young beginners. My Master knowing -his power in general, particularly promised to effect his desires, -provided that the young man would agree to lay out his money when -received with him; telling him, he would use him well therein: but -whether he did or no, you may guess, for he kept not open shop above six -moneths before he broke, and is now gone for a Souldier, and the Company -in general likely to loose the money. This, replied I, is one of the -worst acts I have yet heard of, if it were intentionally done, for it is -an abuse of the Donors will; but I see it is not material with some men, -if they get money, how they come by it: but I pray, let me hear the rest -of your story. That you shall, said the Bookseller, but first let us -drink; which he having done, and I pledged, he proceeded, as you may -hear in this following Chapter. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXIV. - -_The Book-sellers Prentice having discovered his Masters way of - Cheating, now discovers his own._ - - -Thus, said the Bookseller, have I given you a summary account of the -most part of my Masters dealing, and the main way how he gained his -Estate; for at this time he hath a shop very well furnished with all -sorts of bound Books, and two or three Warehouses full of Books in -quires; he hath above 1000_l._ owing him by Country-Chapmen; some Estate -he hath in Land and Houses, and a very good Stock in the Hall, and all -this is acquired in six years time out of nothing; and in this account -of my Masters dealing, I have acquainted you with the greatest mysteries -of our Trade: but, said I to him, I must confess you have told me those -things I was not only ignorant of, but what I could not have believed -could have been done, and so great an Estate could have been gained by -the bookselling Trade, especially from so small a beginning as an _A B -C_: but all this while the mystery is not disclosed; for though you have -told me how your Master gets money, yet I hear nothing of your gains, -neither indeed can I as yet conjecture how you should be furnished with -money; for I suppose you keep an account of what you receive and pay, -and that your Master takes care to look into his accounts, that no great -matter can be gained that way. 'Tis very true, replied the Bookseller, -he does so; and as he is of a false knavish temper himself, so he is -suspitious of me, and very vigilant and watchful over me: but do you -think, that I who have observed all his ways and crafty dealing, cannot -find a way to be even with him, and put money into my own pocket? and -indeed he does allow of my knavery and craftiness in over-reaching of -others; for he in general is accounted the fittest servant of our Trade, -that can out-wit and over-reach his brother-Bookseller; for it is not so -much our keeping Shop, and selling a few Books to Scholars, Parsons, -Gentlemen, nor sending to Country-Chapmen, for in that we use a constant -price, and there is not much wit or craft to be used therein; but the -craftiest part of our profession consisteth in making an Exchange-note -with other Booksellers to the best advantage; and there is our greatest -prize: for if any of our Chapmen send to us for Books, such as we do not -print, and such as we are not at present furnished withal, then away we -go to that Bookseller who is best furnished with them, and desire to -make a Note with him, which he (being desirous to sort himself with some -of our Books) willingly consents to; then do we commonly pretend least -use for those Books we most want, otherwise we should be sure to go -without them, unless we took many of other sorts, that were little -better then waft paper; and so we, by telling our brother Bookseller -that of such a Book they are almost gone, and the like, we put off the -greatest number of our worst Books, and the fewest of our best; and -being indifferent of taking any quantity of those we most need, we -commonly have most put upon us; and so are furnished with what we -desire: and in this way of exchanging Books for Books, we have the most -occasion of exercising our wits, and many times receive commendations -from our Masters for so doing; and when we meet with one another, the -business being over, triumph over those we have thus outwitted. - -This business of Exchanging brings us Prentices acquainted with each -other more then any thing else, for that this matter is commonly left to -our management; and on this acquaintance depends the greatest part of -our profit: for though we can sometimes when we take money in the Shop -put up half a Crown or a Crown for a Book that our Master knows not of, -yet that is but seldome, and little Money is given us, unless it be by -the better sort of Customers, whose Books we carry home, and then -perhaps we may have a shilling or two bestowed on us; but this is -nothing in respect of our other profit, which I shall now tell you of. - -We trading for a great deal to Chapmen into the Country, do print very -much, and sometimes one Book is printed very often, and a number of 25 -or 50 cannot be so discovered: sometimes we are in fee with the Printer, -procure him to print such a number over for us, which he consents to, -that he may do as many for himself: and then for the manner of our -selling of them, it is by Combination, Confederacy, and Correspondency, -which some of us Apprentices have with each other; for we have our -Warehouse as well as our Master, and are furnished with much variety; -every one of the Combination bringing some quantity to this joynt-Stock, -of what his Master printeth; and then as occasion serveth we furnish -each other: but the chiefest way of making money of these, is by three -or four young Booksellers, who being newly set up do buy them of us, it -may be two pence in the shilling cheaper then they can buy them of our -Masters: we have ready money, or at furthest when they have sold them; -and to this end we have commonly one of these Booksellers in every -considerable place of Trading about Town, and sometimes we employ a -rambling Bookseller to go a Birding, and offer them at places, and -oftentimes our Masters buy some of their own Books of this -Ubiquitarian-Bookseller; and one or two being intrusted with management -of the Stock, gives account to all the rest; and so we divide the -profit; at other times we being employed by our Masters to get in Books -for our Country-Chapmen, we inform them that the Book being out of print -we cannot have it without ready money, and then we being ordered to get -them, (for our Customers must be served) we have them out of our own -Stock, and put the ready money into our pockets. Sometimes I have gotten -fourty or fifty shillings by being partners with one of the young -Booksellers in printing a Pamphlet; and if it be an unlicensed thing, we -sell them privately to Customers in the Shop; if a factious thing, we -have our factious Customers; if obscene or wanton, we accordingly are -provided with those that buy them: and thus with these ways, and some -others which are too long to relate at this time, I can make a shift to -spend fourty or fifty pound a year, to keep my suit of private cloaths, -and to allow my Wench eight shillings a week, to whom I constantly pay -that Portion; and I think my share of the Stock at present may amount to -fourty pound. And thus you see, that though so many thousands go through -the Scriveners hands, and so few through mine, yet I can make a shift to -get some money out of our paper, as well as he out of his parchment; and -I doubt not, but when I come out of my time, to do as well as the best -of our trade; for having learnt so much in this Art, I question not but -I shall put it in practice to my advantage. - -Thus did he put an end to his Discourse; and drinking a Pot or two more -of Beer, having had some other merry discourse about the Scriveners -Wench, and such like other matters, we parted; he, to go meet with some -of his brother Booksellers, to take account of their private Stock; and -I, to my Masters about my ordinary Imployments, still ruminating in my -mind of all the passages that these two Blades the Scrivener and -Bookseller had related to me; and from thence did conclude, that I -should find all the rest of our Clubbing-brethren stored with the same -Discourses; and now I meditated on nothing more then how I might get -money enough, for that was the only thing that made crooked things -straight; and if a man have enough of that, he may defie all men. It can -make knees bow, and tongues speak against the native genius of the -groaning heart; it supples more then oyl or fomentations, and can -stiffen beyond the Summers Sun, or the Winters white-bearded cold. In -this we differ from the ancient Heathen; they made _Jupiter_ their chief -God, and we have crowned _Pluto_. He is Master of the _Muses_, and can -buy their Voyce; the _Graces_ wait on him, _Mercury_ is his Messenger, -_Mars_ comes to him for pay, _Venus_ is his prostitute; he can make -_Vesta_ break her vow, he can have _Bacchus_ be merry with him, and -_Ceres_ feast him when he lists; he is the sick mans _Æsculapius_, and -the _Pallas_ of an empty brain; nor can _Cupid_ cause Love, but by his -Golden-headed Arrow. Money is a general man, and without doubt -excellently parted: _Petronius_ describes his Qualities. - - _Quisquis habet nummos, secura naviget aura: - Fortunamque suo temperet arbitrio. - Vxorem ducat Danaen, ipsumque licebit - Acrisium jubeat credere quod Danaen: - Carmina componat, declamat, concrepat, omnes - Et peragat Causas, fitque Catone prior. - Jurisconsultus, paret, non paret: habeto; - Atque esto, quicquid Servius aut Labeo - Multo loquar: quidvis nummis præsentibus opta, - Et veniet: clausum possidet Arca Jovem._ - - _The Monyed-man can safely sayl all Seas, - And make his fortune as himself shall please: - He can wed_ Danae, _and command that now_ - Acrisius _self that fatal Match allow: - He can declaim, chide, censure, Verses write, - And do all things better then_ Cato _might. - He knows the Law, and rules it, hath and is - Whole_ Servius, _and what_ Labeo _could possess. - In brief, let rich men wish whatsoere they love, - 'Twill come, they in a lock’d Chest keep a_ Jove. - -And to conclude, as it commands Gods and Goddesses, so all sorts of men -and women are obedient to him that has the command of this God Money; -and therefore I was resolved to put in for a share of it. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXV. - -_The Relater with the Scrivener and Bookseller and their Wenches being - merry in a Tavern, fall out with other Company, and are sent by an - Alderman to the Counter. The Relater in revenge cheats the Alderman of - his Scarlet Gown, which is converted into Petticoats for the three - Wenches._ - - -I having thus gained an intimate acquaintance with all these my -Brother-Clubbers, did set forth my own good parts; and they having been -open with me in the discovery of their manner of living, and how they -furnished themselves with money even to superfluity, I was as free to -them in relating many actions of my forepassed life; by which means they -found me the more fit for their society: and I having passed through -variety of conditions, as having been of several Trades, and informing -them of several mysterious Cheats which I had performed in them, they -all took a very great liking to me; but there was none whom I so much -affected as the Scrivener and Bookseller, because I found them the best -stored with money; and I often accompanied them to their Wenches, where -we had extraordinary Treatments, and such Company as exceeded all the -rest; for I had my lass as well as they; and though I paid nothing of -the reckoning, yet my Wench was often as well provided for as theirs; -for I furnished her with Cloaths equal to any of them, and then the less -money served the turn. We three being one night at a Tavern with our -Wenches, where we passed a Winters evening in their pleasing society, -our spirits being raised with wine, and the harmony of Musick joyned to -our Ladies voyces, in which they all three were very excellent; It -happened that their harmony begot a desire in the people in the next -Room to be attentive to our Musick: the Scrivener desiring his Lady to -sing a particular new Song alone, she consented thereunto, and performed -it very well, with good applause: one person in the next room, who had -given attention thereto, and had lately been in company with the Singer, -knowing her Voyce, was resolved by one means or other to see and drink -with her; and thereupon leaving his Company, he came into our Room, and -civilly asking leave, saluted the Ladies, and took acquaintance with the -Scriveners Mistress: she being somewhat displeased thereat, in short -time took occasion to tell her friend the Scrivener that she was much -troubled at this accident, and desired his favourable interpretation of -this action, for she assured him, she only knew this person as a -retainer to the house where she lodged, he coming to another Lady there, -and not to her; and withal she desired him, if he thought fit, to -affront and chastise him for this his unmannerly intrusion. Her friend -the Scrivener being thus informed by his Lady, called me and the -Bookseller on one side, and acquainted us with the matter; so that we -suddenly resolved to rid ourselves of this bold intruder: when we -returned to the fire where we left our unwelcome guest and the women, we -found him toying with them, and a little more bold then either they or -we were willing to permit and allow of; wherefore we gave him some angry -words, which he being a bluff fellow retorted, and we striving to force -him out of the Room, he single as he was set upon us all, to the great -affrightment of the Women, who now beginning to squeak out, our noise -occasioned the rest of our guests Companions who were in the next Room -to come into ours, and there seeing their Friend set on by us three, -which indeed being odds, they fell on us to his assistance: many blows -were not enterchanged, before the Master of the house and others (being -called by the noise we made, and the clamours of the women) entred the -Room; but all they could do, could not part us, so eager we were in -defending, as we thought, the honour of our Ladies; so that the -Constable was sent for, and we all seized on; but refusing to be -obedient, he forthwith caused us to be conducted to the Justices, who -was an Alderman that lived not far off; we being brought before his -Worship, being as yet hot as well with Wine as anger, could not agree in -our story, nor the occasion of our quarrel; but glad we were when we saw -that our Ladies had slipt away, as indeed it was but time (for had they -gone with us, I doubt _Bridewel_ would have been their lodging, and they -should have had rapping cheer.) They having thus made their escapes who -were the cause of our difference, and we every one contradicting each -other in our Discourses, the Alderman made no more ado, but sent us all -to the Counter, both Plaintiffs and Defendants: by such time as we were -well settled in our Quarters, and had paid our Garnishes, we all -considering the matter, and at length conversing with our Adversaries, -put our quarrelsome business in a fair way to be ended; for the occasion -being a Whore, we all agreed upon one tale to tell the Alderman next -morning; when being brought before him, and he finding then no -difference between us, supposing that it was only a drunken quarrel, was -at length perswaded to release us; but before we went, he forced us to -pay our fees, and likewise some money to the poor for being drunk; all -which we made a shift to do, by borrowing of one another, and so we were -discharged. - -Thus was this business overpassed: but though we made a shift to hide it -from our Masters, pretending some of our wonted excuses, yet the rest of -the Brethren of the Club were acquainted with it, and we were soundly -laught at, and our Wenches applauded for their wit in making their -timely escape, or else it would have fared worse with us as well as -them, and our business must have come to our Masters ears. - -This disgrace stuck upon us a great while, for our Companions would -often ask us, when we would go and visit Master Alderman again: -wherefore I bethought my self of a trick how to be revenged of the -Alderman, and thereby cause the Discourse to cease: I often going by the -Aldermans house, saw him standing at his door, and he had a common -custome every afternoon to stand or sit there three or four hours -together. I waiting my opportunity, went to the Alderman, and asked if -his Maid-servant was within: which of them, said he, _Nan_ or _Suzan_? -_Suzan_, quoth I: yes, said the Alderman, What is your business with -her? May it please your Worship, said I, I was sent hither to take -measure of her for some new cloaths: What then thou art a Taylor, said -he; I replied, yes, and so he sent me in. I being acquainted with the -Maids name (and seeing the Alderman engaged at the door, still talking -with another person) asked for _Suzan_: when she came to me, I told her, -that her Master sent me in to her, and wished me to ask for his Skarlet -Gown, to mend it against a feasting-day then approaching: she knowing -her Master was at the door, and beleeving my story, went for it (I in -the mean time watching whether the Alderman still continued at the door, -for if I had seen him comming in, I would have made my excuses and -depart) but as good luck would have it, the Maid came and gave me the -Gown, and went about her other business; I wrapping it up under my -cloak, went again to the door where Master Alderman was sitting, who -asked me, whether I had taken measure of his Maid; I told him, yes: What -already? said he. Yes, and please your Worship: then thou hast made -haste, said he; make her Clothes handsome, she’s a good Wench, and make -haste with them too, and let me see that you work well, and thou mayst -do some work for me, and in time thou mayst have good of the Wench. I -(being troubled with Master Aldermans large discourse) only replied, I -shall, if it please your Worship; and so left him, and went my ways to -the next Alehouse, where I applauded my self for my so happy -contrivance, and safe deliverance from Master Aldermans impertinences. - -After a little stay in this Alehouse, and night coming on, I being thus -fraughted with this rich Cargo, sailed to the Tavern where we used to -meet, and the Gown being wrapt up in a cloth, I delivered to the Drawer -to lay up, and went up into a Room, where calling for a faggot and pint -of Wine, I had not staid long ere some of our Club came, and in short -time all the rest; we fell to merry-making, and in our jollity some of -our Company nosed us with Master Alderman: well, said I, I suppose that -jobb might cost us twenty shillings a piece, and though Master Alderman -might put the most part of it into his pocket; yet how say you, if I can -propound a way how to be revenged on him? My two Companions, the -Scrivener and the Bookseller, told me, if I could do it, they would give -me twenty shillings a piece; a match, said I, I’le be judg’d by the -Company: and thereupon I told them the story, and how I had cheated -Master Alderman of his Skarlet-Gown; and to make good my word, caused it -to be brought up, and shew’d before them: very well pleased was the -Scrivener and Bookseller, and all the rest amazed at the boldness of my -adventure, which was by all applauded for a great piece of wit, and my -money was by them accordingly paid me; then after a cup or two of Wine, -consideration was had, what should be done with the Gown, and how it -should be disposed of, for we all knew it was hazardous and dangerous to -dispose of it as it was: so after many propositions and consultations, -it was at length generally agreed on, that I should cut it in pieces, -and out of Master Aldermans Gown I should make three Petticoats, which -should be bestowed on our three _Madonas_; and this adjudged very fit -and equitable, that they having endured part of the brunt, should -receive the whole prize: this I assented to; and the Scrivener and -Bookseller, in regard the Gown was mine, gave me each of them twenty -shillings a piece more, for their share of the cloath; and also they -between them furnisht me with a rich gold and silver Lace, to be put -upon my Ladies Petticoat, equal and alike to that which was put on -theirs: and this was an end of the adventure with Master Alderman, of -whom we never enquired how he and his maid _Suzan_ agreed about the -Gown. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXVI. - -_The Relater and several others of the Clubbing-Prentices assist the - Drugster in putting off of some of his Commodities; he gives them - gratuities, and relates a notable Cheat by his Master put upon an - Iron-monger._ - - -In this manner did we spend our time; and though our Masters gained more -money, and dayly increased their Estates, yet we enjoyed the greater -pleasure in each others society: and now we being all acquainted with -one anothers ways, assisted each other in all things, and there was no -want for ourselves or Wenches, who were often at our meetings, and -assisted in our mirth. - -I remember one evening, a young man, a Drugster, who was one of our -Club, told us that we must all of us assist him in a matter he was -about, and he should not only gain a good opinion of his Master, but we -should have a Piece or two to spend; we hearing there was convenience -and profit, agreed together, soon consented to do our utmost, and -therefore desired him to acquaint us with the matter: he thereupon told -us, that his Master had lately bought a parcel of Drugs of two or three -sorts, which did cost him about 1000_l._ in hopes of great gain, for -they were at double the price that he would afford his at; but they -being too much for one mans sale, he offered to sell good part of them -to some of the Trade; but they refused to buy, unless they might have -them cheaper then he was willing to afford them, pretending that they -had no need of that Commodity, being sufficiently furnished with the -same; although we were very certain that they could have none of it, -there being none to be had in all _London_, till of late my Master -bought this parcel that came from beyond Sea: Now my Master being -desirous to sell his Commodity, hath considered of a way how to make his -brother-Drugsters come to him, and pray him to sell it to them at his -price; that way is thus: - -He hath desired me to get some of my acquaintance to go to most of the -Drugsters in and about _London_, and pretending to be Apothecaries and -others that need those Commodities, to enquire for them, and bespeak -quantities thereof; and then he knows, that not being able of themselves -to furnish them, they will repair to him, and give him his price. Oh! -said the Bookseller, have you learned that trick? I am very well -acquainted with this manner of trade; for we commonly use this slight to -sell our Books: for when we have printed a Book that we doubt will not -sell without preferring, and more ado than ordinary, then we not onely -Title it upon Posts, put it into News-books, and use several other ways -to make it famous; but we sometimes send several of our acquaintance and -friends to most Booksellers shops to inquire for this new Book; and they -coming so one after another, at length Master Bookseller is perswaded to -buy some of them; nay, sometimes, the more to encourage the Booksellers -to buy some quantities, we allow our friends to lay out some moneys with -them, and buy several of them; and so the Bookseller will commonly, if -he sell one or two, buy six or a dozen; and by this means our moneys -come in again with profit. Well, reply’d the Drugster, this course must -we take with these Drugs, or else they may prove a very Drug to my -Master; for he hath served some of our Trade so many tricks already, -that they are very cautious how they deal with him; but this trick of -sending friends to ask for a Commodity he hath often used, neither did -he learn it of the Bookseller: but there happened an extraordinary -chance sometime since, and from that experience he hath taken this -course. - -For there was a person who is used to make Syringes, which Chirurgions -and others use to squirt withal in several Distempers; and this man -being out of imployment, made a great quantity of them, and laid them by -him; but not knowing how to dispose of them, he bethought him of this -way of sending some friends to inquire for them: and so well did he -manage his business, that by employing persons to enquire of Drugsters -and Apothecaries for them, he not onely sold all he had made by him, but -in less than a quarter of a year, he took above 200_l._ for this -Commodity: and this my Master took notice of, and I suppose made a -president of, and now resolves upon the same course to put off his -Drugs; wherefore I desire your utmost assistance herein, and I shall -when you please spend a Piece or two in a Collation. All our -Club-fraternity agreed on this, and promised to be active here: and thus -resolving on our next time of meeting, we parted. - -I for my part, the next day accoutring my self in a Country -Gentile-garb, went to several Drugsters, and asked for several Drugs, -whose names I had gotten; but amongst all, I more earnestly desired a -good quantity of those that were to be thus put off, telling them I was -a Country-Apothecary, and should call three or four days after again, -and lay out a considerable sum of money with them. I having done this -for my part, and the rest of our associates having been as diligent, we -meeting three days after together, our Drugster told us, that his Master -had sold all his Commodities to very great profit; and therefore, said -he, This Collation, and each of you a Crown more to buy Gloves, is my -Masters charge, and he desires you to accept thereof; which we -accordingly did, being glad we had done so good service to him and his -Master. - -I understanding by this, that there were tricks and cheats in this Trade -as well as others, was desirous to be acquainted with the manner of -their Trading; and he being but a Novice, told me, he could not tell me -much of it, but he was very sensible that there was much knavery in that -Mystery, in mixing and sophisticating their Drugs, and getting the -spirits of some of them away, and renewing it in others, as served to -their profit: and, pursued he, I have one trick whereby my Master gets -some money in a year; for it being customary to give a Pipe of Tobacco -to any one that comes into the Shop, and desires it, I give them of that -which is very good; and they liking thereof, and the price, commonly buy -of the same, and sometimes a quantity, desiring it may be still of the -same they have tasted; the which I promise to do, and before their eyes -take it out of the same box; but the knack of it is this, it is for all -that a different and worser sort of Tobacco; for the Tobacco that I gave -them as a taste, is onely placed in one corner of the box for that -purpose, and so it goes off, as if it were all of the same; and -sometimes we put off a whole Roll of Tobacco in the same manner: for the -outside-roll is of good Spanish right, but all the inner-part is -Mundungoes, worth a groat a Cart-load. - -But this is nothing to what ways my Master hath; and he lately exercised -his wits to a pretty profitable account, and thus it was: My Master -among other sorts of Drugs, had bought a quantity of Dragons-bloud, -being pieces of wood, dipped, as is supposed, or rather pretended, in -Dragons-bloud; and this is good in Physick, and for other uses: this -Commodity not proving very good, my Master had a great desire to put it -off, but could not get any body to buy of it: he had been not only with -Drugsters, but also with some Iron-mongers to sell it, for they use it -about their Locks, and other Iron-work, to keep them from rust; but no -person was willing to deal with him about it. My Master had a Neighbour -that was an Iron-monger, whom he had a great desire to deal withal; but -he being a wary young man, and hearing that my Master was a snap, -refused all dealing with him: and some words passed that displeased my -Master, and therefore he resolved to be avenged; and thereupon having -designed his business, with the help of two Confederates, he thus puts -it in execution. - -He gave a small quantity of this Dragons-bloud to one of his -Confederates, who having full instructions, went to the Iron-mongers -house, and seeing him standing at the door, asked him if he wanted not -some of that Commodity, shewing the same to him: No, said the -Iron-monger. I was informed, said the man, that you sometimes deal in -it, and was recommended by a friend to come to you; and if you please to -deal with me, I shall use you very kindly. To this the Iron-monger -replyed, that he needed not any of it. But, said the other, I suppose -you sell of it to others sometimes, and may therefore do me a courtesie, -and your self too, for I have not a shop to sell it in, and am a -stranger; wherefore, if you please, I shall leave this parcel with you, -and you putting it on your stall may happen on a Customer, which if you -do, I can furnish you with more; and thus you, without laying out any -money, may get some profit. The Iron-monger hearing of this, and -conceiving the man to be honest and harmless, consented to his desire, -entertained the condition and the goods, and enquired further of the -price; the man telling him that he understood it was worth three -shillings _per_ pound, but he would willingly take two shillings eight -pence, because he might have profit; and telling him that he would call -on him in a weeks time: and they at this time parted. - -And thus the Iron-monger having received the Commodity, put some of it -out every day on his Stall, till at length a man coming by, and seeing -that to lye there, and the Master of the shop at the door, asked him the -price thereof; the Iron-monger told him three shillings _per_ pound. The -Customer desired to look further into it, desiring to know how much he -had of it; Truely, said the Iron-monger, I cannot tell, but I suppose, -if we agree, I can furnish you with a good quantity. Why, said the -Customer, I will give you two shillings eight pence _per_ pound for it, -if you have 500 _lib._ of it. Well, said the Iron-monger, call here a -day or two hence, and I will resolve you, and it is like we may deal -together: Thus at present they parted. But he came again the next day, -and the day following, pretending great earnestness to buy the -Commodity: in the mean time the Iron-monger waited and watched narrowly -to see and speak with the man that left it there, but could not meet -with him, for he stayed away on purpose; and this Customer that came to -buy was likewise the other of my Masters Confederates, and sent by him -for that purpose. At length the Iron-monger standing at his door, saw -the man who left the Dragons bloud passing by his door, and called to -him, and then discoursed seriously with him about the matter, as, what -would be his lowest price, and what quantity he had? To both these -Questions he answered, He would take two shillings six pence; and the -quantity he had was 500 _lib._ The Iron-monger hearing this, and -resolving now to deal, told him, that he thought it was too dear; but if -he would take two shillings four pence, he thought he might buy all his -quantity. To this the Seller replyed, That it was too cheap; but taking -all, and paying him ready mony, he would do it. The Iron-monger replyed, -That ready money was two months: but, said he, If I deal, you shall have -half down at the delivery, and the other half at three months: to this -they both agreed. But the Iron-monger being cautious, would not at -present fully conclude, referring the ending the Bargain to two days, in -the mean time resolving to see if his Customer came that was to buy; and -then enquiring the name and habitation of the Seller, they parted. - -Long had not the Iron-monger waited, but his buying Customer came by, -and as earnestly as formerly desired to buy the Commodity; the which now -the Iron-monger agreed to sell at two shillings eight pence _per_ pound, -and to be paid at weighing; and that he might be sure of his Customer, -he takes ten shillings in part of payment, and appoints two days thence -to finish the bargain. Thus did the Iron-monger reckon to gain 500 -Groats, which is 8_l._ 3_s._ 4_d._ Besides, he was resolved to have all -ready money, and to pay but half; but he reckoned without his Host, as I -shall presently tell you: for the Seller of the Dragons-bloud coming the -next day, finished his bargain, delivered his Commodity, received his -money, and took a Bill from the Iron-monger for the moiety of his money -to be paid in three months. But now the Iron-monger had the Commodity, -he might go look for a Customer; for he that left the ten shillings came -no more, and the Commodity lay still on his hands; at which he was -fretted, but could not help himself. - -My Master having thus managed this affair by these two Confederates, -received the mony, and had the Bill assigned to him, giving both his -Confederates something for their pains. - -He having thus done the Iron-monger’s business, was not contented with -the profit alone, but was resolved to vex him; and therefore when he -passed by his shop, he asked him if he would buy any Dragons-bloud. No, -said the other, I can sell you some. I’ll buy, said my Master; but when -he saw it, and heard the price, he told him, No, he could sell him as -good as that for 12 _d. per_ pound. At this the Iron-monger was more -vexed; but not knowing how to help himself, was forced to rest -contented; at length the three months came, and then my Master was -resolved to shew all his anger, and vex the Iron-monger more, and -therefore went himself to demand the money that was due: the Iron-monger -answered him, that he owed him none: Whereupon he produced his bill, and -a Letter of Attorney; and then he too late perceived how he had been -served. For my Master told him, that now he would be even with him, for -refusing to deal with him, and abusing him. The other said, it was a -cheat, and he would make him bring out the party that bought it, giving -him ten shillings in part of payment. That shall I do quickly, said my -Master, but it will be small to your gain: and then told him the name of -the man, and that he was not worth a farthing, and a Prisoner in the -Kings-bench. At this the Iron-monger being much more vexed then before, -told my Master that he would not pay him, and bid him take his course; -the which he did the next morning, and arresting him, soon brought the -case to a tryal, and having an absolute bill for payment of the money, -cast the Iron-monger; who advising with his Lawyers, went to -_Westminster_ for a _Writ of Error_, which he gained: but when he came -back with it, thinking to stop Execution, he found that he came too -late; for my Master doubting some such business, never left till he -served the Execution, so that when the poor Iron-monger came back with -his _Writ of Error_, he found the Bayliffs and my Master in his shop, in -possession of his goods; and he being out of Moneys at present, was -forced to let my Master have all his Dragons-bloud again at twelve pence -_per_ pound, and so in that and other Commodities paying his Debt and -Charges, and giving each other general Releases (which my Master -earnestly insisted on, and without which my Master would do nothing, the -Iron-monger being in a strait) they made an end of this bargain: and now -the Iron-monger, when he came to a second reckoning of his bargain, -found, that instead of getting 8_l._ 3_s._ 4_d._ he had lost 33_l._ -3_s._ 4_d._ besides all his Cost; and my Master thus having gained by -his Commodity, sold it since to another for one shilling six pence _per_ -pound. And this, said the Drugster, is but one of my Masters ways to get -money. - -This young fellow had taken a great deal of pains to discover every -particular of his Masters late bargain: from what he had related, I -concluded the Master to be a very cunning practitioner in the Mysterious -Art of _Knavery_, and therefore I was desirous to be acquainted with -him; and knowing that he was but a young man himself, and also desirous -of acquaintance, I found no great difficulty to attain to my desires, -which I soon after accomplished, as I shall relate to you in the next -Chapter. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XX. - -_The Relater and the Drugsters Master come acquainted, being concerned - in Tryals at Law: their several Cases they relate to each other._ - - -My Master having much dealing, had many Debts owing him, and he was -forced to sue some persons to get in his monies; and I having delivered -a parcel of Clothes, was _sub-p[oe]na’d_ to attend to testifie the same -in Court, upon a Tryal which my Master was to have with his Debtor. I -attended the Court when Tryal of the Cause should be call’d, several -hours; and there did I meet with the young Drugster, who was likewise -waiting upon some such like occasion: we both having leisure, and his -servant having told him that I principally assisted in putting off his -Drugs, he to gratifie me, offered me a Pint of Wine. I accepted his -kindness, and to the Tavern we went, where he again thanked me for the -courtesie I had done him; and then he enquired my business at the Court. -I told him, it was upon a Tryal of my Masters, who sued one for money -for a suit of Clothes. That is strange, said he, that any should refuse -to pay for work when done. True, said I, but he pretends that there is -somewhat more then ordinary in the Case, as indeed there is, if well -understood; and knowing you to be ingenious, I shall relate it to you. A -person had occasion to have a suit of Clothes made, and would not -entrust my Master to buy the Cloth; but having enquired how much would -do the business, my Master told him five yards and a half, to make a -suit and large coat. The other supposing that five yards would do the -business, and the half yard be saved, bought but five; and bringing it -home, desired my Master to cut it out before him; and if there wanted -any more cloth, it should be supplyed. My Master seeing himself -distrusted, was resolved to be even with his Customer; and to cutting of -it out he went: first, he cut out the Doublet, and then the Breeches; -but instead of one pair of Breeches, he cut out two pair, perswading the -Customer that it was but one; and when he came to cut out the coat, -there was a great deal of cloth wanting; so that the Gentleman was -forced to buy a yard more of cloth, the which he saw cut out likewise; -and though he was cheated before his face, could not discover it; my -Master serving him well enough: for whereas he intended but to get half -a yard of cloth by him, he now saved a whole one. - -The suit was made up, and the Gentleman wore it: but as yet not being -fully satisfied, coming into company with another Taylor, he asked how -much cloth might be in that suit and coat. The Taylor replyed, Five -yards: the Gentleman said he bought six, and saw it all cut out and put -into the clothes. The Taylor wondring hereat, told him, that he would -make him a suit and coat full as large as that with five yards. The -Gentleman agreed; and more cloth was bought, delivered to the Taylor, -and the suit made accordingly. The Gentleman not as yet having paid my -Master his bill, refused to do it, pretending he is cheated, but not -knowing how; and this day we are to have a Tryal, and I question not, -but I who am my Masters chief witness, shall be able to out wit the -other Master-Taylor, who is here in Court ready to testifie against us. -How do you mean to order your matters? said the Drugster. Truely, said -I, in one word, I will make oath, that all the Gentlemans six yards of -cloth was cut out and made up, in Doublet, Breeches and Coat, as indeed -it was; but I do not say, how many pair of Breeches; and I suppose, they -not suspecting me, will not be curious in asking the question. - -The Drugster was so well pleased in my relation of the story, that he -told me his Case, which said he, is this. I have had some little -misfortunes in the world, and people have lately called on me for money, -more than I could well pay at present; and one person particularly has -been so outragiously foolish, as to say that I was a Bankrupt, and that -I would never pay him: now I have brought my Action against him for -slander and defamation, and hope to get so great damages against him, as -he shall be willing to forgive me my debt: and this will be a good -leading Card to muzzle the mouths of the rest of my Creditors, who -indeed are so civil as to come into Court, and testifie in my behalf. - -This Case being well managed (said I) may be very considerable with you, -and turn to your profit and credit both. Our Wine and Discourse being -ended, we both went into the Court, where I heard his Tryal so well -managed, as he recovered 200_l._ damage: and my Master, with my -evidence, recovered his Debt; and then threatened to sue the Gentleman -for defamation: he hearing thereof, and seeing how great damages were -given to one there present, upon the same account, presently made his -Composition with my Master, and gave him ten pound to put up the -business. My Master gave me 20_s._ to spend, which I did in Wine and -good Company; and the Drugster having had this success, was now more -contented than ever, and his credit grew high in the City, so that he -was intrusted with some thousands; but he and I being after that very -intimate, I perswaded him at a convenient time to give me an account of -his life and actions; I having formerly told him of many of mine. We -being planted at a Tavern, and no person to interrupt us, he began as -followeth. - - - - - CHAP. XXVIII. - -_The Drugster in relating his Life, discovers several Cheats which he - performed under the Cloak of Religion; as also how he cheated his - Masters Sister of her Maiden-head and Estate; and several Cheats in - Smuckling._ - - -Though the whole course of my Life, from my Infancy to this time, hath -been a continued piece of _Knavery_, I having been of many Trades, and -most Factions in Religion, in which I have always been a very great -stickler: yet I shall not give you any account of my minority, omitting -all my actions till I came to about twenty years of age, when I had -gained some experience in the world, and had learned how to play my -Cards to the best advantage. - -I served an Apprentiship with a Master, whose whole Family, consisting -of himself, Wife, Sister, and four Servants, was an absolute Compendium -of most Religious Factions then practised in _England_: He himself was a -strict rigid Presbyterian; his Wife, a Ranter; his Sister, an -Anabaptist; three of the Servants Independants, but of several Churches -and Perswasions; and I, though an Independant, being of all Religions, -yet was of none at all, that gave them all the hearing; and with my -Master was a Presbyterian, and would ordinarily accompany him in his -long-winded prayers, which being filled with tautologies and nonsence, -he esteemed, and often used, believing himself to be assisted with a -Divine Spirit. Many absurdities he committed in his Devotion, as praying -for the Reformation of his Family, and pointing out a time when he -should or would have a return of his Prayers, at which time he would -charge Providence with the fault; he having strictly observed all the -Commandments, in Fasting, Praying, relieving the Brethren, and -performing all other Duties which Sir _John_ his Ghostly father had -imposed on him. He would often recount the particular enormities of his -Wife and Family, and how she lay out from him three nights together in a -week, and where she was; and would earnestly pray for, either her -conversion or confusion. Many other impertinencies would he commit, -which would be too tedious to me to recount: but in general, I found his -zeal to be a weakness in his brain, and he was continually led about as -Sir _John Presbyter_ directed. - -My Mistress was likewise led about by those of her Gang, which were -absolute Libertines, affording themselves all manner of pleasure, and -denying themselves the injoyment of nothing they could purchase; and she -would pretend Religion in all her frollicks: for she would say, That _no -sin was imputed to the Saints_; and indeed it was no sin, unless she her -self thought it so. That she, or any other Sister, might lie with -another Brother, was accounted a general maxime amongst them, especially -if they chose their time when their Husbands are asleep, which they -termed to be dead, and therefore might then do it without breach of any -Commandment. She would be very costly both in her Apparel and diets -alleadging, that it was not fit, that the Body _which was a sacred -Temple_, should be coursly either clothed or fed. I had a great mind to -have been of her Religion, because there was so much freedom and -enjoyments therein; but my Master kept me in a little too strictly; and -my Mistress keeping company with the High-boys, slighted the tender of -my service. Thus having failed in this attempt, I made my way to my -Mistresses Sister, who was an Anabaptist; she I often waited on by my -Mistresses commands, and at length was admitted to be one of the -Brethren in the Conventicle, whereof she was a Sister; I professed a -great deal of zeal for that way, and my Master often instructed me in -Scripture, I soon from a proficient became a Preacher, and was of great -eminency amongst them. - - * * * * * - -Thus did I spend my time till my Apprenticeship was out, and I was a -freeman; and then did I begin to look about me, to see what I might get -for my self: for I had never undertaken this course of Teaching, but in -hopes to gain my Mistresses Sister; and she still put me off till I was -out of my time, pleading tenderness of Conscience would not permit her -to give me any enjoyment of her before Marriage, and that could not -lawfully be done, till my time was out; which being come, I freshly -courted her, and she gave me the hearing, but still put me off desiring -me first to settle my self in the World. I now believing that she -intended to delude me was resolved to play the same hand at Cards with -her; and perswading her that I still gained somewhat of an Estate by my -dealings in the World, I spent some moneys on her, and taking my -opportunity gained my ends upon her; for pretending that I had lately -made a bargain, whereby I should get 100_l._ if I had fifty pound ready -money more then my own, which was likewise fifty pound; She having -moneys by her, willingly consented to lend me fifty pound, provided that -she might see the disbursing thereof. I then thinking to kill two Birds -with one stone, readily consented; and heartily thanking her, desired -her to provide her self to go with me next Tide to _Gravesend_, where I -was to lay out the moneys: she did accordingly, and carrying fifty pound -with her, I having raised such another sum, we took boat and made for -_Gravesend_, where when we arrived, I left her to rest herself at an -Inn, and went on board a Ship that was newly come from the Indies, and -bought as much Indigo as came to 150_l._ I had it a very good penny -worth, but not so good as to perswade her that I should gain 100_l._ by -it, which I had promised: wherefore that I might make out the matter to -be plain to her, I engaged the Seaman I had dealt withal to secrecy, and -made this bargain, that I would pay him 100_l._ down, and pay the rest -in two moneths, telling him that I was a great dealer. He believing me -without much difficulty, not only consented to this, but also to say, -that he had but 100 l. for all the Commodity; we having thus agreed, -went to my Sweet-hearts Chamber, and there concluded our bargain before -her; who having some skil in the price of that Commodity, did believe -the bargain to be as profitable as I alledged to her, and freely laid -down her money, which together with my fifty pound was paid to the -Seaman, and the goods delivered into a Lighter to be carried to -_London_, and delivered according to order. - -This affair being dispatch’d, I was resolved to drive the nayl home a -little further, and as I had got the money, so to get the maid; -wherefore I pretending expedition, told her, it would be most convenient -for us to ride home: she wholly confiding in me, consented thereto, and -a horse was procured to carry us double; mounted we were, and so -advanced on our journy; but pretending some business, I made an halt at -the next Town home wards, where I did my Horse the unkindness to prick -him in the foot, that he might halt, and not be able to carry us through -that night; this being done, we again mounted, and I fell to thanking my -Mistress for this great favour, not only in assisting me with her purse, -but accommodating me with her Company; and now, said I, I hope you will -no longer delay me the enjoyment of yourself, and the rest of your -Estate. Truly, said she, this days action hath resolved me of all -doubts, and now I have so good opinion of you, that I shall no longer -delay our marriage, then shall stand with your conveniency. To this I -returned answer full of love and kindness. Our horse by this time felt -the effects of my work, for he halted so much, that we could only go a -foot pace, and with much difficulty came to the next Town, where we were -forced to alight; and it now growing late, and impossible to get to -_London_ that night, we resolved to take up our quarters for the -present. - - * * * * * - -I having placed my Mistress in a Private Chamber, went into the Stable, -and soon removed the obstruction that hindred our horse from going, so -that by the next morning he was well enough able to travel, I left him -to the care of the Hostler, and went up to my Mistress, who expected me -to supper, which I had ordered to be provided for us, and that being -ready, I invited our Landlady to be a guest: though our Commons were but -short, being only one Chicken, yet I made a long Grace, which according -to our custome, might amount to a prayer; and I remember that among -other matters, I prayed that our horse might be so well recovered, as -that he might be able to carry us next day to _London_: our Landlady -soon understanding what kind of Guests she had, believing that she -should get little by our Company, was desirous of leaving it, which she -did, by pretending business, and so we had the whole Chicken left us for -our own eating, we hardly made or left any bones of it, so hungry we -were. Supper being ended, we went to the fire, and I designing my -business, call’d for a Quart of Claret, which we burn’d, sweetned, and -drank off; and by this time my Mistress was so sweet upon me, that we -talked very familiarly and pleasantly, and oftentimes I interlaced our -Discourses with kisses and amorous sighs, to which I was welcomed, and -many times invited; I then called for another Quart of Wine, which we -likewise drank off; and then I found my Mistress was very full of the -Creature, so that she drew neer to the bed, and at length cast her self -thereon; I was not long after her, but lay down likewise, and first -beginning with embraces and kisses, in a little time I gained possession -of all my endeavors she lying as fast asleep all the while; but when I -had done, and was again laid by her, she started up, and seemed to be -very angry with me; but I supposing that it was because I had so soon -done, catched hold of her, and attempted to be at her again; but in vain -did I endeavour it, for she then began to be angry, reproaching me with -dishonesty, and using many canting terms, which I omit: I told her, what -was done could not be undone, and therefore comforted her, and told her -all should be well by our sudden Marriage: thus did I appease her, and -we soon agreed upon every thing; so that though I was appointed another -Chamber, which I pretended to lodge in, yet I lay all night with her. -The next morning we arose betime; and mounting our horse, who was now -well enough, we soon arrived at _London_, where for the present we -parted. I having thus gained my ends of this woman, having part of her -Estate in my possession, and by the enjoyment of her person having the -command of the rest, was resolved only to abuse her; strip her of what -she had, and so leave her: for I found no such sweetness in my nights -lodging with her, but what I might expect from another; having before -that tasted woman in the enjoyment of two or three of our Sisters, which -passages I omit, and tell this to acquaint you how this woman undid -herself by her Covetousness, for had she not distrusted me with her -money, I should have married her, but now my minde was otherwise bent. - -I received my Goods, and now my stock being much encreased by this fifty -pound, and the profit of my bargain; I paid the Seaman, and proceeded in -Trading: and though I had little skill in forreign Commodities yet I -ventured at all, neither did I want Money, for instead of paying back -the fifty pound to my Mistress, I soon after had 100_l._ more, and yet -she could not perswade me to marriage, I still pretending multiplicity -of business: at length, all her portion, being 400_l._ got into my -hands, I only paid her with a nights lodging, which now and then we had -together; but as to marriage, I still pretended one reason or other to -defer it. - -I not only proceeded in my Merchandizing, but continued in my preaching -at our usual Conventicles, where I was become very famous, and a great -disputant; but at length I finding there was little to be gotten by them -(and my principle being always to gain what I could) I became now almost -weary of them, and willing to leave that Congregation for another that -courted me, but I was resolved ere I left them to make some use of them, -and get somewhat of them. I thus laid my Plot: I gave a bond to a -Confederate for 100_l_, pretending that I owed so much to him; I gave -out, that I would on such a day not only preach to my Congregation, but -also Dispute with any opposer on several Articles. The time being come, -I had a full Auditory, and performed my Preachment and Disputation to -the general satisfaction of all? and then appointed that the next day I -would hold forth some other points, that had not as yet been disputed -of, inviting all the Congregation, and all others that would come, to -meet me in a larger room then that was wherein we exercised at present. -Thus having finished my Discourse I dismissed my Auditors; but I was no -sooner out of the house, but I was seized on by a bailiff, in Execution -for 200_l._ for my Confederate who had the bond, had brought it to -Judgment: I was then accompanied by two or three of my Congregation, who -much wondring at the business, desired the Bailiff to have patience, and -go into the next House, which we did; and the Case being opened, I -confessed the Debt, withal alleadging that I was not at present able to -pay it, having lately ventured most of my Estate to Sea. Those of my -Congregation hearing this (and being much grieved that their Pastor -should be thus snatch’d from them, especially when he had deserved so -well) sent for some more of their brethren, who were monied men; and so -among them they paid the debt, and I was discharged: but soon after -this, I left them, and they were forced to make a Collection or -gathering among themselves to reimburse themselves their moneys; and my -Mistress, who had been all this while delayed by me with fair words, -made her complaints to the brethren, but to no purpose, for she received -no redress or satisfaction, I having now quite left them and their -faction for another, where by reason of my ability in preaching, I was -entertained, and an accord made between me and my quondam Mistress, I -only giving her back fifty pound of her four hundred; we being now -absolutely parted from one another, she receiving no other satisfaction -of me, either for her many nights lodging or money, then fifty pound, -which she willingly received, believing me to be a beggar; my new -Congregation voluntarily raising that money for me for that purpose. - -Thus was I quit of her, and had gained five hundred pound in my pocket, -only under the cloak of Religion; and having such success, I in short -time discovered my self to be rich, by buying many bargains of good -value, paying ready mony, and raised my self to so high a reputation, -that I won a widdow of an indifferent fortune to be my wife, and so -settled my self in the World. - -As for my preaching-trade, I finding that it had already done me as much -service as I expected from it, I left it, for I had now a wife and -money, and for that end, and to get them, I took it up, and being -provided with both, I left it, but especially finding that it grew every -day into disesteem, it being about the time of his Majesties happy -Return; when instead of a preaching Fanatick; I quickly faced about, and -leaving my congregational friends, I enquired out, and procured Cavalier -acquaintance, so that I (who a little before the Kings coming home, was -used to wear short Hair, and was modest and precise in my habit) had now -a large Perriwig, a great Plume of Feathers, and all other accoutrements -accordingly, being still diligent on all occasions to associate my self -with the Captain and chief Officers of the Trained Bands of our Company, -into whose acquaintance and Society I soon insinuated my self, by my -Gallantry in my habit, and expences in Taverns being conformable. - -Thus did I become a Gentleman, and from a Precisian a Prodigal, nay, an -Antick, and every thing, what not? that I might please all: for instead -of a Prayer-book, or some other Fanatical piece of divinity, I now -carried in my pocket, either Cards or Dice, and so great a love I had to -_Hocus Pocus_, that all their Tools, _viz._, Box of Counters, Balls, -Cups, and other Trinkets which are made use of in that mysterious -function, were all my Companions: having learned confidence when I was a -Preacher, I was now the better emboldned to stare my Spectators in the -face, while I cunningly enough performed my feats of activity; and such -a readiness I had, that I was accounted an able proficient. I spent so -much time in these fooleries, that I almost lost my self; and now having -a wife and family to maintain, I found my Estate so far to decrease, -that I was forced to look after my business, and fall to Merchandizing: -but having lost a considerable part of my Estate which I had adventured -at Sea, I was resolved, as I said, to trust no more to that Element, and -not to let my Estate go out of my sight; wherefore I still as shipping -came in, went on board, either in the _Downs_, _Portsmouth_, or -_Plymouth_, and there buying good bargains, which the Seamen, newly come -home would afford for ready Money, I began to prick up again, and have -Money at command; I then bought me a small Pinnace or small Pleasure -boat; and with that went on board of Ships, bought Goods, and made a -shift to stow as much on board privately, that I saved much by the -customes and other duties. This Trade I drove a long time, gaining much -by stealing Duties; neither did I care what Goods I dealt in, having -Customers of all sorts and Trades, who knowing that I drave this Trade, -employed me to buy for them, agreeing the prizes before hand: but I was -snap’d one time, and all my goods seized for not paying duties, and an -Information put into the Exchequer against me: I finding that it would -be but a folly to contend there, agreed with the Informer, and he -suffered me to cast him; so that I got off for a sum of money, but I -gained much experience thereby, so that I then began a new Trade, and -would engage many of my Friends to go and buy Goods on board of Ships, -and if they got them clear from the Ships-sides it was enough, for I -would come immediately in another Boat, as if a stranger, and seize the -Goods as forfeited for want of the payment of duties, and so secure them -from any other seizure; and if any other person came to seize them, I -then pretended it to be my business, having made the first seizure, but -if we were not met with by another, then we passed clear without any -more trouble: nay, so bold and confident was I grown in this kind of -Trade, called _Smuckling_, that I have had fifty and an hundred pound at -a time given me to go over into _Holland_ or _France_ in a Ship which -hath brought much prohibited goods, which I have seized so soon as we -came near any Port of _England_, to prevent any other seizure; and then -putting an information into the Exchequer, have suffered costs against -me, and all hath been clear. I gained not only much money by this means, -but also the esteem of a cunning subtile fellow, and was employed in -many such affairs, and sometimes in Law-suits. - -I remember once I came into Company with a very fair Lady, who having an -old cross-grain’d fellow to her Husband, had not only lived from him for -some time, but was so foolish as to be married to another person, who -was a Gentleman of much worth and merit. The Ladies old Husband -(understanding thus much and more out of Covetousness of gaining money, -which he believed the Gentleman would on this occasion part from, then -any love he bore his Wife) hunted them out from one place to another, -and the young Gentleman refusing to comply with the old Knights desires, -he was resolved now to prosecute her for Life. - -This Story was told me by the Gentleman himself, and the Lady assured me -of the truth of the matter, imploring my assistance: Well, Madam, said -I, come, be ruled by me, and I will disappoint your old Husband, and you -shall laugh at him. Having considered the matter, I ordered her to go -next day into the Country, above 100 miles from _London_, and there to -expect me, and obey my further orders, this she did; and I soon -following her, and the Assizes beginning the next day, I got a Warrant -to apprehend and bring her before the bench, she came, and I charged her -with having two Husbands, she denying, and I alledging the matter, she -was committed, and an Indictment brought in; but when she was to be -try’d, I was not to be found, nor any person else to prosecute her: so -that she was quit by proclamation. A Copy of this Process I took out of -the Court, and so she and I came to _London_, to the Gentleman her -friend, who gladly welcomed us, and now they live together in spight of -the old Knight, who attempting to trouble them, found it in vain, for -she could not be tryed for one fact twice. - -This feat did I, meerly out of my own apprehension and fancy, and it -succeeding according to my wishes, and I had a considerable reward for -my pains. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXIX. - -_The Drugster sets two Persons, his wives Brothers-in-Law, at variance, - he gets Money out of them both, proceeds in Trading, but adventuring - too much, cannot pay his Debts, and is therefore clapt up in prison._ - - -I drave this rambling Trade for a long time, and gained enough by it, -but I was so prodigal in my expences (both at home and abroad, that I -might be counted somebody) and sometimes loosing considerable sums at -gaming, that I began to go behind hand, and oftentimes, when I pretended -to go to _Gravesend_, the _Downs_, or other places to buy some Drugs, or -other Merchandise aboard a Ship, I went not far from _London_ to a brave -handsome Lass, that I kept for my private recreation. For though I had a -wife, and she indifferent handsome, yet was she cold in her embraces, -and still talking of the cares of the World, and propounding ways to get -Moneys. But my private Lady was quite different, being wholly composed -of Love and sweetness, professing nothing more dear to her, then my -Society: and we had no other discourse but pleasure and enjoyments, in -the greatest height we could imagine; This though it were pleasant, was -very chargeable, to keep such a Commodity for my own private use, so -that I gained not much at the years end; and what I got over the Divels -back, I spent under his belly, as the Proverb goes: Wherefore my wife -called on me to stay at home and apply my self to some settled way; but -that I could not do, for my Stock was grown low and my spending as high -as ever. - -My Wife had a Father-in-Law who was a Citizen and a monyed man; him I -got into favor with and by my free entertainment of him, won him to me; -for he having left off trading in _London_, lived some miles off, and -coming to _London_ would often visit me, where I still welcomed him, and -attended him abroad when he went to receive Rents, or any Moneys, and -assisted him in all such things that I could, with much diligence. My -stock being very low, I borrowed Moneys of him to trade with, and was -very punctual in my payment, so that he put so much confidence in me, as -to lend me 100_l._ and more I might have had, had I requested it, as he -and his wife (who was my wives Mother) often visited me at my house, so -at convenient times I was a guest at theirs in the Countrey? where I -associated my self with the best Gentlemen of the place, winning upon -the affections of all; by my facetious and pleasant converse. I had -great hopes of raising my fortunes by my wives Mother, who I hoped would -out-live her husband, and then, at her death be able and willing to give -me good part of her estate, but it fell out otherwise, for she fell sick -and dyed before him, but it was my good luck to be there, and my wife -being still near her, she gave her some Rings and other things that were -considerable. - -The old man my Father-in-Law being desirous to bury his wife at _London_ -according to her request went up with us, and being somewhat sick -before, so soon as his wife was buried, was so surprized with a -distemper, that he took his bed, and after ten weeks sickness dyed at my -house, during his sickness I bethought my self of what advantage I might -make it, and endeavoured to please him in all I might, but he having two -sons, I could not expect much of the estate, but was resolved by hook or -by crook to have a considerable share, and to that end I knew no better -way then to divide the two Brothers and put them at difference. The -eldest was a married man, and though of an easie temper yet I knew was -too honest to be wrought on to do any unhandsome action, the youngest -being a young bluff fellow, was apt to believe any thing I should -perswade him to, wherefore at first I possest him with a jealousie -against his brother, and that he would defraud him of his share of the -estate, if he did not take heed and follow my directions, which if he -did, I would put him into a way to command his elder brother in every -thing. - -The young man being of a suspitious nature, easily believed me; and then -I particularly advised him, that the first thing he ought to do, was to -get the Register of his age altered; for if his father should now dye, -and he not truly being twenty years of age, could not expect to have the -possession of any part of the Estate, unless he were one and twenty. -Wherefore to the house of the Parish Register we went, and for the -spending of one shilling, and five shillings in Money, we had the -Register book delivered to us, where I being well skilled in -counterfeiting and imitating of hands; soon alter’d the Register, -putting his age out in one place, and writing it in another place two -years before; so that the young man was now made half a year above full -age. Then did we call the Register, who gave us a Certificate out of the -book of the young mans age, and this we carried with us as authentick, -and to be produced on all occasions. I having done thus much for the -young Man, he could not deny me anything I desired or requested: so that -the old sick Gentleman being still weaker, and having his Money in a -Trunk by his beds-side, I perswaded the younger Brother (who had the -key) to take some out and lend to me; which he did: and that the old Man -might not see the action; I and my wife would stand by the beds-side -before him, so that by degrees I got 100 _l._ from thence; and when the -old man dyed, though he left a considerable Estate, yet was there not a -penny of ready Money. The elder brother knowing that he had foul-play -shewed him, began to be angry, but to no purpose, for he was forced to -comply, the younger brother having possession of that Trunck, and the -keys of all others where all the Writings were. The old man being buried -(and much excess and prodigality shewed in the expences and costs -thereof, which was done principally at my invitement, that I might gain -repute by inviting as many friends as I pleased, and also drain my two -young men of their moneys) the two brothers began to discourse the -matter, the elder brother demanding possession of the Estate, and a -divident to be made according to the Will of their Father; and, said he, -Brother, your share must either be in my hands, or else in the Chamber -of _London_ till you come of age: How, said I, till he come of age? -Sure, you mistake your self, he is of sufficient age already; and -thereupon produced the Certificate, which though it was very punctual, -yet the elder brother (who was neer ten years older then his brother) -and several others who were present, knew to be false: and this was the -first breach between them, which had like to have grown to a high flame: -for the elder Brother applying himself to the Register, upon search of -the Book, found the fallacy: and indeed the Register acknowledged the -fact; for which he, and the younger Brother, and my self had like to -have kissed _Newgate_, by order of the Lord Mayor, who being acquainted -herewith, was highly incensed against us all, professing before the -whole Court of Aldermen, That this act was of high concernment, and -might be prejudicial to the whole City. The elder brother was very -cautious in prosecuting this affair, being tender of his brothers -credit, and therefore endeavoured by fair means to bring his brother to -a handsome compliance; which he effected in my absence, and so wrought -upon his Brother, that the Trunk of Writings was sent for to a Tavern, -where they were for the present divided, and the Trunk with part of the -Writings delivered to him, with a promise to put a fair end to the rest -of the difference. When I came home, and found the Trunk gone, I stormed -exceedingly; and believing my self disappointed of my purpose, found out -the younger Brother, and schooled him so soundly, that he by my -directions went back to his brothers house, and by a false token -regained the Trunk with the Writings which he had new sent home. Thus -was their difference enlarged, and likely to be worse; but the Elder -brother so moderately complyed with all mine and his brothers demands, -though never so unreasonable, that a division and partition was made, -not onely of the Estate, but some part of the Goods, which being Plate, -and Linnen, and Pewter, were delivered into my custody: and all the -differences between the brothers being ended, I demanded of the elder -brother satisfaction for his fathers being at my house during the time -of his sickness: he little expected this; for his father had given to me -and mine an hundred pound, but that was nothing; I owed him so much, and -I must have more, and so I told him I would have, or mischief him: not -giving any other reason, but that he had enough, and I would have part. -Thus did I hope to huff him out of his money: but he, though he was -easie and good-natured (which I accounted next of kin to a fool) yet -wholly refused me, affirming that I had no reason for my demands, for I -had an hundred pound given me, and that I had not been at any charge, -for his father had continually given my wife money to provide all -necessaries, and that some of that was still in my wives hands. - -Though I knew what he alledged was true, yet I still persisted in my -demands, and told him, that so much I would have for the trouble of my -house: he offered to refer it to two men; I long refused it, but at the -length consented, and tampered with his Arbitrator, promising him a -reward, if he would answer my expectations: but he contrary to my -expectations proved honest, and gave me but half what I asked; neither -would he have consented to that, but that the elder brother himself -advised him thereto, out of a desire of Peace. This Award I was much -troubled at, and seeing I could get no more, was contented with what I -could get of him: but the younger brother I fleec’d somewhat more -considerably, getting out of them both, in Legacy, Mony and Goods, to -the value of three or four hundred pounds: with which stock of money, -and a greater of credit, reporting of greater matters that were given -me, I again fell to trafficking, and now dealt more considerably then -ever: for I went to publick Sales, where great quantities of goods were -sold by inch of Candle, and bought thousand pounds worth at a time; and -so considerable was I lookt on, that I was often imployed by others to -buy for them. I bought several parcels and sorts of Goods, which I -fetcht away as I paid for them: at last I bought several parcels of -Goods to a great value, and fetcht away most of them, which I sold to -profit: but one parcel of 500_l._ being a failing and decaying -Commodity, I left in their hands so long, that it was much damaged; and -unwilling, and indeed unable to pay for them, was arrested, and clapt up -into prison; where I was forc’d to lie a great while, till I had spent -and consumed most of what I had; and at length they finding there was -nothing to be got by me, released me, I releasing my bargain: which I -willingly did, but soon after repented it; for the price of that -Commodity rising, it soon amounted to great profit; and whereas I should -have lost, I now might have gained, as they did by the sale of it, neer -200_l._ - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - -CHAP. XXX. - -_The Drugster having failed in_ London, _goes to live in the Country; - where by counterfeiting a sickness, and making a Will, he gets into - Credit, and borrowing Money falls again to Trading._ - - -This Misfortune of my Imprisonment did sensibly afflict me; especially, -when I understood that instead of loss, I might have gained by holding -to my bargain; but it now being past, could not be helpt. I was reduced -to such necessity, that not onely all my Money, but my Plate and best -Goods were sold; and not onely my Wife, but my Whore parted from their -Rings and Jewels to redeem me: for when I was in prison, every body that -I owed money to, though never so little, came upon me; and though I came -off with my great Action easily enough, yet many other little ones stuck -close to me, which I was forced to discharge. I had now time enough to -consider my forepassed Actions, and to examine my self what I had done -to deserve this affliction; I bethought me of the trick I first served -my Mistresses Sister, in cheating her of her Money and Virginity; but -that stuck not much upon me, because I thought her to be justly enough -fitted for delaying me, distrusting me, and other bad practices I knew -her guilty of; but when I considered the wrong I had lately done the two -brothers, in first raising a difference, and then continuing it between -them, and not onely prosecuting the elder brother so highly my self, but -putting another of my acquaintance (to whom I knew he was indebted) upon -him to sue and arrest him, with all the disgrace that I could, by -causing it to be done on a Sunday as he went to Church, I my self -attending: This consideration possessed me with an opinion that this -Judgement was justly fallen upon me for this cause, I being rightly -enough fitted, being likewise my self arrested on a Sunday, as I was -going to Church: but now being discharged of my Imprisonment, I -bethought me what course I was to take, and resolved, that since I had -suffered disgrace in the City, it were best for me to remove into the -Country, where I was not known; therefore I soon took a house of -considerable value, and putting my self in a very good Habit, and in -equipage every ways suitable, I and my Wife, with most of my family -removed from my _London_ to my Country-house; I soon got my self -acquainted with the best and wealthiest people of the place, and gave -them very handsome treats and entertainments at my house, which they -answered me with the like civility. - -Though I had been a Prisoner, yet I had play’d my Cards so well in -paying my small debts, and told my tale so advantagiously about my great -Action, that I had preserved a sufficient credit with some of my -Dealers; so that making up about fifty pound out of my Wives and Wenches -Rings, Jewels, and some Plate, I was entrusted with 100_l._ worth of -Commodities, with which I set up another Trade in the Country: this -turned to good account: for I seldom ventured on any thing, but it was -effectual and to purpose; and if I would wholly have bent my minde to -get Money, I might have had a good estate; but I affected pleasure equal -to, and above profit; and though I was thus low in the World, yet I -still kept my Wench, whom I had now quartered in the mid-way between my -_London_ and Country-house, and therefore could lye with her -commodiously enough, and tell my wife, if at my Country, that I lay at -the _London_ house; and so on the contrary. - -As I thus enjoyed my pleasure, so I now began to be more wary, and look -after profit, which I did to good purpose; but I now wanted a -Father-in-Law who was a moneyed man, or some other friend who would -furnish me with money; and if I could but have produced three or four -hundred pounds in ready money, I questioned not but to make -extraordinary advantage; for this end I thought on several ways, and at -length did hit upon one that did my business. I travelling in the -Winter, took an extraordinary cold that forced me to keep my bed for -some days, and indeed I did so longer then I needed; for I counterfeited -an extraordinary sickness, and that I was much troubled with the Stone -and Collick; and so desperate ill I pretended my self to be, that my -Wife lamenting, and my Children and Family being in much disorder, I was -perswaded to make my Will: to this I consented; and the Scrivener of the -Town was sent for; I then told him, that by reason of my Childrens -childhood, and my Wives incapacity to manage affairs, I was in a great -strait how to dispose of my Estate, which though it was considerable -enough, yet if it were not well managed, would soon come to nothing; I -now being in a strange Town, distant from _London_, where my -acquaintance lived, I knew not well what person to intrust as Executor, -unless, said I, Mr. _B._ of this Town would do me the kindness to take -that trouble on him, which I would willingly requite by a sufficient -Legacy, and my Wife and Children would be bound to pray for him. Sir, -said the Scrivener, I question not but he will do it; and if you please, -I will not onely ask him, but perswade him thereto. I thank you kindly, -said I, and for this offer of your friendship, I shall give you a Legacy -as a Remembrance of me; and therefore, I pray, take notice of the heads -of my Will, and then go with it to Master B. and shewing it to him, make -this request to him in my behalf: whereupon the Scrivener began, and I -dictated to him, what, and to whom I would give; which was 1000_l._ to -my Wife, 300 a piece to my Children, and several other Legacies, -amounting in all to near 3000_l._ and 100_l._ I gave to my intended -Executor, and 10_l._ to the Scrivener. - -This affair being thus ordered, the Scrivener departed, and went to -Master _B._ my intended Executor, who being a well-monyed man, and -withal very covetous, was very glad of the matter, and willingly -accepted of the offer, and within few hours came to me, and told me he -was very sorry for my sickness, and wished my recovery; but if he could -do me any service living, or to my Wife and Children if I should die, -which he hoped would not happen, he should be ready and willing both in -purse and person to assist me. I then told him what I had done as to my -Will, and withal caused my Account-books to be produced, where I shewed -and demonstrated how my Estate stood, and in whose hands it was (having -prepared false Accompts for that purpose:) he seeing the matter so -plain, and hoping to get a fleece out of my Estate, caused the Scrivener -to proceed and finish the Will, which I sealed; but during his stay with -me at that time, and some other times when he visited me, I so -counterfeited faintings and pain, that he and all others neer me, did -fully conclude, I was no man for this World. - -After I had managed this affair to the height, I soon recovered, and had -now not only gained this old penny-father to be my friend, but by his -and the Scriveners reports of my Estate, had many others, who more then -ordinarily respected me, and made me tenders of their service: all which -I thankfully refused at present, as not having any need. Soon after -this, I hearkned out a place, for which I was to give 1000_l._ and it -being a good penny-worth, I engaged in it: I made a shift to raise two -hundred pound of my own moneys, and that was all I was then able to do; -but pretending I had of my own five hundred pound in money, I soon -perswaded my intended Executor to furnish me with five hundred pound -more; and so paying seven hundred pound to my Chapman, he took my word -for three hundred pound more. This place put me in very great credit; -and now, as well my _London_ as my Country-acquaintance looked on me -with respect, supposing all to be true that had been discoursed of me. I -did not long keep this place, but sold it for an 100_l._ profit, and so -became Master of more ready money then ever, with which I again came to -_London_, wholly leaving my Country-house, and paying my Country -Penny-father part of his moneys: and with that little of my own, and the -rest that was left, and what I had gained, I took a house and Shop in -the place where I now live, and drive a Trade equal to the best of my -Neighbours; onely I have had some dealings of late, which have a little -puzzled me, as I lately told you, when I had my trial; but he that -slander’d me paying so dear as 200_l._ damages, will not onely himself -beware, but alwaies teach others to hold their peace. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - CHAP. XXXI. - -_The Drugster now breaking in earnest, endeavours to cheat his - Creditors, and convey himself and Estate into_ Holland; _but is - discovered, and his Estate seized, and himself stopt; but by - assistance of the Relator, he gets off, and having a good sum of - Money, and the Scrivener and his Wench, all get away, and travel to - the_ East-Indies. - - -Thus did the Drugster finish his story. I received satisfaction equal to -whatever I had either in the Scrivener, Bookseller, or any other -Relation; for I found that his Actions had been different from theirs; -for what they did under the cloak of honesty, he did under that of -Religion, which I found was too often the covering of _Knavery_. This -Discourse being ended, and our Wine out, we parted; proffering to each -other all kinde of service: and indeed it was through his occasion, and -to do him service, that I am come to this place, so far from my Country; -I shall therefore give you an account of his last Actions in _England_, -which are as remarkable as any I have hitherto related to you; as also -somewhat further of the Scrivener, who is our other Companion; and so -finish this large Narrative, which I doubt hath almost wearied you. - -I being unwilling to hinder the Traveller in prosecuting his Story, had -with much pleasure attended and hearkned to what he had said; and though -his Discourse was long, and had taken up much time, yet I found so much -pleasing variety, that made me ample satisfaction and amends; and being -desirous to know the rest of their Adventures, and what fortune or -misfortune had brought them hither, I desired him to proceed, which he -did in this manner: - -I was now acquainted with three persons, (_viz._ the Scrivener, -Bookseller, and Drugster, an account of whose actions I have given you) -that gave me full satisfaction, and put me into an absolute opinion, -that there was not onely _Knavery_ used in all Trades and Professions, -but that most Trades were composed of, and most Estates gotten by -over-reaching and _Knavery_: I therefore resolved to look about me, and -see what I could do in the world; and having an intimate and familiar -acquaintance with the Scrivener, I was by him supplyed with what money I -desired, laying it out in Clothes, which I bought at the second hand, -and sold again to my profit, and so repaying the Scrivener, who took no -other interest then a Pint or a Quart of Wine. I did light upon so many -good Bargains, that I had gained a stock of about fifty pound of my own, -and my Master did not contradict or deny me in my dealing, because I -assisted him in his profit, by bringing him Customers of our Club and -acquaintance; I brought the Scrivener and Drugster to be acquainted -together, and they liked one another so well, that they contracted a -friendship, which had hitherto lasted; and the Scrivener was likewise -assistant to the Drugster in procuring him moneys at a pinch, which he -honestly repaid him; and the Captain (which I told you the Scrivener -first adventured to Sea withal, so much to their own profit, and the -loss of the Insurers) was now a person admitted into our Society, and -being now got up again in the world, became Master of a good Ship, and -was often imployed by the Drugster, and others of his acquaintance, on -several short Voyages to _Holland_, when at his return he was assisted -in securing and conveying much prohibited and uncustomed Goods by the -Drugster, which was to the very great gain of them both; and in general -we all thrived very well, till fortune, who is always changeable, in -short time turn’d tail upon the Drugster, and had like to have crush’d -him to nothing. He being at the height of his Trade, and studying now -onely how to be an Alderman, did drive a great Trade, buying and selling -much Commodities, both Drugs and Grocery Ware, and indeed any other -Merchandize whatever, nothing came amiss to him, till at length he not -onely had a great loss at Sea, but buying a great quantity of Pot-ashes, -intending to make a great profit by keeping them up, he lost 1000_l._ at -a clap; for much of that Commodity coming in unexpectedly, he was forced -to sell his at great loss: these two unlucky hits, both falling on the -neck of one another, shrewdly squeezed him; but he being of a great -courage, took little notice of it to the World, but still run on all -that he could, adventuring a great part of the remainder of his Estate -to Sea, which likewise failing, he was quite undone; but remembring that -he had been in as bad condition formerly, and still made a shift to come -off clear, and creep up again, his credit being still high, he bought -great quantities of Goods upon credit, to pay at three months; but not -knowing how to bestir himself, being now got very highly in Debt, and -knowing very well that he could not make profit enough by those Goods to -set himself to rights, he thereupon bethought himself of conveying away -what he had, and giving all his Creditors the slip: he had two other -inducements that moved him thereto, the one was his Wives death, which -was lately happened, and the other was his Wenches consent and earnest -desire for him to do so, promising him to assist him in all she could, -and also to accompany him in his Voyage. - -This being agreed, the place intended for his Voyage being _Holland_, he -sold as much Goods in _London_ at an under-rate for ready money, as he -received 600_l._ for; and the rest of his goods amounting to 1500_l._ -worth, was put on board a Ship, which was immediately to set sail for -_Amsterdam_; his Lady being on board the Ship, but in a Disguise, -_Virago_-like, habited in mans apparel: he carried not his designe so -closely, but some of his Creditors got knowledge of it, and -understanding the business to be desperate, took out a Statute of -Bankrupt, and going on board the Ship seized on all; he being then at -_London_, taking leave of me, the Scrivener, and some other friends. -This being done, the news came quickly to his knowledge; for before we -parted, two of his Creditors, accompanied with Officers, not onely -acquainted him with what they had done, but also secured his person. We -were all surprized at this action, especially the Drugster, who now -appeared more dead then alive; and though he was asked many Questions, -yet he knew not readily how to answer one; and therefore they soon left -us, carrying him away to one of their own houses, where they -tyrannically kept him for some days, not permitting any person to come -at him; for though I attempted it, 'twas in vain. The Scrivener and I -being together, wondred at the action, and could not tell what should be -the occasion of this sudden business; for the Drugster had not -acquainted us with the bottom of his designe, onely telling us, that he -was to go a two Months Voyage to _Holland_, and so return. I then parted -from the Scrivener, and attempted to see and to speak with my friend the -Drugster, but it could not be at present; but by often importuning and -pretending business of consequence, in ten days time I was permitted to -see and speak with him; when having secured and examined the Chamber -where he was, that none might over-hear our Discourse, he soon -acquainted me with every particular of his business and designe; nor did -he relate to me that his Wench was on board in mans apparel, and how he -had given 100_l._ in silver into her Custody. But, said I, where is the -other 500_l._ for in all I heard you say, you had 600_l._ in ready -money? That said he, I hope is safe, if my Clothes are so; and -therefore, I pray, said he, assist me a little in this affair, and -enquire what is become of the Wench and my Clothes, and I doubt not but -in few days to put all things right enough again. I not onely promised -him to do my utmost, but went about it very faithfully; and going on -board the Ship, found that all was gone; but upon enquiry, heard that -the young man that was to accompany the Drugster in the Voyage, was on -shore at a house not far off: thither I went, and upon enquiry found out -the party: I desired private speech with him, for she went for a man: -this was granted, and I discovering my self so plainly to her in every -particular, she made no great difficulty to be as free with me, and told -me, that all was gone, Clothes, and every thing else, except her own -Box, where she had secured the 100_l._ that was given to her; and, -continued she, My friend could not have employed any person to me, to -whom I would have been so free as I shall be to you: for though you do -not know me in this Habit, yet I suppose, had I my woman’s dress, you -would soon remember me: I then protested to her, that I could not call -her Phisnomy to minde. Well, said she, we have been more inward, and ere -now lain together; and thereupon told me, that she was one of those -three that I lay with in one night, and had redeemed from pawn, as I -have formerly told you, at my last coming to _London_. Upon this, though -she was in breeches; I made bold to kiss her and embrace her: Well, said -she, proceed no further, there may be time enough for the rest; let us -now consult what is necessary to be done for our distressed friend; for, -said she, if you and he desire it, I shall be willing to part from all -the hundred pounds, which I am yet Mistress of. Well, replyed I, you are -the most generous and deserving Woman of all your Sex, especially of -your Quality, not onely for what you now offer, but what I formerly by -experience, and lately by his Relations have understood of you. Truely, -replyed she, where I promise fidelity, I perform it; and where I finde -worth, I will endeavour to deserve and requite it: and though I have -lived wantonly, yet since I was entertained by this Gentleman as his -friend, I have been wholly constant, and will persevere therein so long -as he is able, or I can otherwise handsomely contrive a way to subsist. -In this you are very obliging, said I, but I hope you will not deny any -old friend a courtesie. Well, said she, more of that hereafter. From -this discourse we fell to the matter in hand, consulting and contriving -what was most necessary to be done for our friends present -accommodation: for the present, we agreed all the money should lye in -her hands, onely she should remove her quarters to the place appointed. - -This being done, I again repaired to him, and acquainted him with my -proceedings; he was glad I had found her and the hundred pound: but when -I told him that the Chest with his Clothes were gone and secured from -him, he was almost out of his wits, cryed out that now he was miserable, -and never till now. Well, said I, come, be contented, there may be a way -found to remedy this evil. No, said he, never till I am again Master of -that Chest with my Clothes. Upon this he was silent, and soon after two -of his chief Creditors entred the Chamber, and told him that if he would -be ingenious with them, that they would not onely release him, but put -Money in his Pocket, that he might trade again: For, said one of them, -we have been at great cost already for the taking out the Commission of -Banckrupt, and the Commissioners Fees for sitting hath already cost two -hundred pound, and it every day runs up to more and more; So that in -fine, it will consume the Estate, unless you will assist us in making up -your accounts; for there are several that we supposed had owed you -money, do put in for to have a share with us: and thereupon, they named -two or three parties who had demanded monies of them. To this the -Drugster replyed, that he owed no such sums as were pretended, and that -one of them owed him two hundred pound; he alledging this, and offering -to prove it, they desired him to provide against the next day to appear -before the Commissioners; and if he did justifie this, they would -immediately discharge him. This being agreed on, they left him, and he -was now in somewhat better taking than he had been, and I encouraged him -to bear up, and hope for the best. Well, said he, if I can but get my -Chest of Clothes again I care not; and I pray fail not to be with me to -morrow, and get my Mistress to send me ten pound, that I may have -occasion to use. We discoursed not much further for the present, but -parted; and I returning home to my Masters, asked leave to be absent for -that night; to which he consented; and indeed, I had so much liberty, -that I might stay out so long as I pleased, my Master using me rather -like a Companion then a Servant. - -I now went to the Drugsters Lady, and my _quondam_-acquaintance, and -informing her of my business, she freely delivered me ten pound: But, -said I, this is not all, I must have somewhat else before I go; and -thereupon called for Wine, and we drank so briskly, that we were both -pretty merry: And it being now late, she asked me where I intended to -lodge: I said, with her; That must not be, replyed she: and indeed I had -somewhat to do to perswade her to it; but at length I did, and we lay -together without any suspition, she going for a man. We often -interchanged many amorous imbraces, and performed all those dalliances -that two longing Lovers could expect, and made many protestations of a -farther friendship: I telling her, that I believed her friend the -Drugster would not be offended, if he knew of our enjoyments, and would -as well impart her to me, as he had done his chiefest secrets: Well, -said she, if you gain his consent, you command mine, and I therefore -leave it to your management; and I suppose if you tell him of our former -acquaintance, the greatest difficulty will be overcome. This I thought -would be a ready way, as indeed it was: and since then we have had an -equal enjoyment of her; she having lain with one of us every night -since, and during our Voyage hither, and is one of those two are in mens -apparel, and is called _George_. - -But, said I, to return to my matter in hand, I the next morning parted -from her, and with ten pound in my pocket, went to my friend, who was -going before the Commissioners, whither I attended him; and there he -carried himself with so much freedom and ingenuity, that he was set at -liberty, and promised more favours: he then made it his request, that he -might have the Chest with his Clothes: to this some consented, but -others replied, all must be apprised, and till then nothing could be -disposed of, and therefore they demanded the key of him: this he -refused; but they told him, that then they would break it open: he -seeing there was no other remedy, promised to bring it the next morning, -and then desired they might be apprised, and delivered to him: and thus -they parted; and after he and I had drunk a Pint of Wine, we also -parted. - -As I was going home I met with the Scrivener, who being desirous to know -how matters went with the Drugster, would enforce a glass of Wine on me; -when I told him all the matter, and omitting nothing, we judged that his -five hundred pound was in that Chest with his Clothes, and that now he -would be stripp’d of it. But, said the Scrivener, I wish he were Master -of that Money, and then I should propound a way to him to leave them, by -making him partner in a design which I have lately projected, and is now -neer execution. - -I needed not use many words to perwsade him to acquaint me with his -design, wherefore after few words, he opened to me the matter thus: - -I have, said he, lived in so full an enjoyment of every thing here, that -I am weary of it, being tied to one place; and my spirit being of a -soaring rambling temper, am desirous of novelty and change; and to that -end I have some time since purposed, and lately contrived a way to leave -_England_ for some other place, and consulting with the Captain whom you -know, have resolved for the _East-Indies_, whither he is now bound: and -that I might not go away beggerly, (for I never intend to return, unless -very rich) I have contrived a way how to carry good store of money with -me, which I am now plentifully provided with. Yes, said I, I know it is -no difficulty for you to procure what money you will, having the keeping -of so much Cash. You are mistaken, said he, I intend not to wrong my -Master of a penny, but have done it otherwise, the manner thus: - -My Master hath lately taken a Journey into the Country, and left the -sole management of his affairs to me; and resolving now to make use of -my time, I have put my Project in Execution. I have been with one of our -Money-Masters, and told him, that such a man, whom he knew to be a good -man, that is, a rich man, wanted so much Money; this he readily -consented to, and I had the Money delivered to me, only giving him a -Bond, whereto I have counterfeited the name of him whom I told him was -the Borrower, and my self, with one more was a witness: this have I done -with two or three, who I was confident would trust me; and with two I -have pretended they would borrow of one another two hundred pound -apiece, and given each of them a Counterfeit bond; and I cannot chuse -but smile, to think in what a case they will both be when the time of -payment comes, and instead of receiving, they will demand two hundred -pounds of each other: it may be, they will be so frolick as to go to -law; if they do, it will make good sport for the Lawyers. By this means, -as I tell you, I have raised fifteen hundred pounds, which I have all -ready by me in good Jocobusses, and am ready in ten days to march off -with my Captain for the _East-Indies_; now if the Drugster had his Money -in readiness, I should be glad of so good Company. I heard him with much -delight, and from that very minute resolved to make one of the Company, -and then offered him my service, which he kindly accepted of, and -promised me that I should share all fortunes with him. - -I went back to my Mistress, and provided my self for my Voyage: and the -next day the Drugster bringing his Keys, the Chest where his Clothes -were was opened, and all in it was examined, but no Money found: I -remember at every parcel of Clothes they took, his eye was so fixed, -that I thought he would never remove it; but at length all was pass’d -over, and the Clothes prized at twenty pounds: he earnestly entreated -that he might have them; but they replied, they could not do it without -the consent of all, unless they gave so much out of their own pockets, -and they had already lost too much by him. He finding that there was no -way but one, took me with him to a Tavern, and conjured me to do him one -kindness, which was, by all means to purchase these Clothes at any rate; -giving me the ten pound I had brought him, and five pound more, he knew -not at present what to do for five or ten pounds more, which he advised -me to give for the Clothes rather than fail. It was too far to go to his -Ladies Quarters, wherefore I out of my own stock supplied that want; and -then going to the Creditors, with much ado perswaded one of them, who -had the Keys, to sell me the Clothes: he would not consent to do this, -unless I would give him thirty pound, which was ten pound more then they -were apprized at: though the demand was unreasonable, yet I was forced -to consent; and putting ten pound of the money into his own pockets, -willingly delivered the Clothes to me, charging me not to discover what -I gave. I did not much heed what he said, but gladly received the Chest -and key, and carried it to the Drugster, who with much impatience -expected me; it being carried up into a private Chamber, and the door -fast locked, he unlocked the Chest, and took out the Clothes, and -drawing his Knife, unript the Collar of a Doublet, where were several -pieces of Gold: Nay then, said he, we are still safe, and I defie -Fortune and all her malice: in less then half an hour, with my -assistance, we found out 500 _l._ in Gold, which was sewed up in several -places about the Clothes. This being done, I soon acquainted him with -the Scriveners Project, and my resolution: to this he likewise -consented, only, said he, I must not leave my honest Girl behind me. For -that, said I, I question not but I shall have some influence to perswade -her; and thereupon I acquainted him with my former knowledge of her: -Well, said he, since it is so, we will continue her a friend to us both, -and not entertain any jealousie. In fine, we agreed not only in that -particular, but in every thing else; and the Scrivener being acquainted -with all our designs, we so ordered the matter, that I, the Drugster, -and our Mistress, and the Scrivener and a Wench of his, whom he had -likewise put into mans Apparel, did all come on board with all our -Treasure into our Captains Ship which was in the _Downs_, and bound for -this place; and so having good Winds, good Company, and every thing to -our content, are all safely arrived in this place. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - CHAP. XXXII. - -_He being now by the Relator brought acquainted with the Scrivener, - Drugster, and the rest of his Companions; they enter into discourse - about the several Factious Religions practised in_ England. - - -Thus did our Relator finish his long story, which was so filled with -profit, as well as pleasure, that I accounted the time I had spent in -hearing him the best bestowed of any: for I gathered so much variety of -experiences, that if I had any minde to prosecute my former course of -life in cheating and Roguing, I might now soon profess my self to be my -Arts-Master, if I did but bravely follow those Examples he had related -to me: but if they were any wise improved, as I had a Genius fit enough -to be highly active, I might then out-do all Example. - -These were my first thoughts, but I had not much time to spend in -contemplation: but he having put an end to his discourse, I kindly -thanked him for his great freedom used in his relation; and told him, -that since he had been so generous to me in unbosoming himself, I in -requital did promise him a lasting friendship, and at our first leasure -recount some of my life to him, which I had hitherto concealed, that -should give him satisfaction that I intended to use an absolute freedom -with him. - -Thus did we contract a friendship, and it was now time to eat somewhat, -the best part of the day having been spent in his long narrative: such -as the house afforded we had, and after a repast, we concluded both to -go on board of their Ship to finde out his Companions; he resolving to -acquaint them with what had passed between us, and to let them know my -quality, believing they would be well enough satisfied with what he had -done, because they might have great occasion to make use of me. - -In this resolution we were preparing to go to the Ship, when the -Scrivener and Drugster entred the house, enquiring for their Companion, -who presenting himself to them, they desired him to walk out, that they -might confer together: No, said he, let us take a Room here and -discourse, which we may do with as much freedom as any where else: he -urging it, they consented, and having a private Room and necessaries, -after a cup or two of Wine I left their company, on purpose to give my -friend the _Taylor_ (who was called _Gregory_) the opportunity of -acquainting them with what had passed between us, which I suppose he did -in very few words; for within half an hour I was called for, and being -kindly saluted by the two Gentlemen, was desired to sit down and make -one of their Company. After a Cup or two of Wine more had passed, my -friend _Gregory Taylor_ thus spake to me: Friend, I have acquainted -these my two Friends and Companions with our late discourse, and by that -they know that all their affairs are known to you also; I have told them -what I know of you, & we are all sensible that your acquaintance may be -very useful and necessary in all things, but much more your friendship: -Wherefore, as you say I by my freedom with you have merited your -acquaintance and friendship; so I desire the same room in your brest for -my Friends, who by me desire it, and in requital you shall command ours; -and whatever we have, you shall be equally Master of with our selves. - -I made no long pause in replying to them, that they might command my -love and friendship, and in that my all, to render them the utmost -testimonies that I could. And thus did we all agree to have a friendly -correspondence, and to conceal nothing of our affairs one from another. -We then drank off some more Wine; and though their two Ladies and the -Captain were absent, yet we remembred them in our Cups, and resolved the -next day to dine all on board the Ship: and at my importunity I so far -prevailed, as that the Women might appear there in their own -Female-Habits; for it had now been a long time since I saw any -_European_ beauties. - -We after this discoursed of many affairs of general consequence, as the -manner of the Countries, and Governments both Ecclesiastical and Civil, -in which we spent some time: but in regard all that can be said of that -matter, is already related in the second Chapter of this second part; I -shall therefore here forbear it: but it wrought much upon the spirit of -the Drugster; who having formerly been a great stickler in Religion, was -amazed that there was so good a correspondence in Religion, which was as -he imagined so barbarous: Well, said he, I finde that most places enjoy -a greater happiness in their conformities in Religion, then our Native -Country of _England_; for there, instead of Unity and loving Conformity, -they are rent and torn in peeces into many Factions; and that hath been -the principal occasion of the effusion of so much blood as hath been -spilt of late years; and when I left _England_, there was still a -discontented party that was ready on all occasions to attempt a publique -mischief for their private interest, and onely to maintain a private -self-will’d-fancy, which they term’d Religion. - -I my self was for a long time bewitcht with a Fanatick Zeal; and my -Master being a man of the same Humour, had instill’d such Principles -into me, that I had much ado to have any charity for any person that was -in the right: but in time I finding a great deal of strictness in the -precise practice, and that under pretence of much Zeal, there was more -Covetousness then in any other perswasion; I quitted that perswasion for -another, and shifted so long, that I found my life but one continued -Comedy of errors. In the end I went over to the Episcopal party, & one -of the most powerful reasons that I had to follow the Independant -perswasion, was a Woman, my Mistresses Sister, as I suppose you have -already heard. Yes, said I, this our friend hath given me satisfaction -in that particular, and I very well approve of the revenge you had upon -her: and as for my own part, I was once a very great Lover of the Ramble -my self, but left it, out of a more generous consideration: for being in -company with an Orthodox Parson, he told me that I was much mistaken in -my opinions; he gave me such a Character of a Libertine Zealot, as I -knew to be true, and wholly put me out of conceit with the Faction: they -were now all desirous to hear what was said to that particular; and -therefore I told them I would recollect my self, and give them the best -account that I could, and such a one as I believed they would conclude -with me, was not onely ingenious, but true: and thereupon I began in -this manner. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - _The Character of a Libertine - Zealot._ - - -To describe him right, is a task like that of the Taylor who took -measure of the Devil; for there is nothing more like him upon Earth then -he: He is lined with Covetousness, and covered with Hypocrisie, the Root -and Cloak of all evil. Although at this time he carries a Bible, yet -upon occasion he wears a Sword; so that it is hard to say, whether he be -of the Tribe of _Simeon_ or _Levi_. He swallows contrary Oaths faster -then the Eagles in the Tower do gobbets of flesh; for the way to Hell, -and the Conscience of a Libertine, are two broad things. He condemns the -lawful Rites and Ceremonies of the Church; and is more ravished with the -squeaking of a Tythe-pig, then with the Musick of Organs. - -He appears at his Preachment (like _Æsops_ Crow) in a dress of borrowed -feathers; for he preaches the works of other men, which are so much the -worse for the coming out of his mouth, as Wares for being of the second -hand. But it would grieve your heart to see how he racks the ancient -Fathers, when he makes his own confession, and mangles the Modern -Divines more barbarously then the Hang-man did the body of _Hugh -Peters_; I am sure poor _Priscian_ gets many a broken head. - -His Eloquence consists altogether in rayling, as though he had got his -education at _Billinsgate_. In his discourse he runs on like a Mad-dog, -foaming and open-mouth’d, yelping at the Reverend Bishops; and even -accounts many of his own Brethren, the Sectaries, as mad as himself. Yet -sometimes he perceives that his stuff is too short for the hour-Glass; -and then the wheels of his Rhetorick move very heavily: he then spends -much time in humming and spitting; and with the wiping of his Nose, -makes many a filthy Parenthesis. - -As for his Text, he handles that as _Moses_ did his Rod when it was -turned into a Serpent, he lays it down, and runs away from it: yet his -Sermon lies all written before him; for the poor Copy-holder in Divinity -can do nothing without his Notes. This his weakness, he would have you -think, is his worth; for he chargeth men of abler parts with -presumption: Yet when he prays, he shuts his Eyes, preferring Nonsense -and Tautologies before the Divine Lyturgy. _Vain Wretch, that dares not -speak to men without Papers, and yet presumes to talk to God_ extempore! -As for his Congregation, he Saints or reprobates them, according to what -they give him; and like a Gypsie, tells good Fortune to none but those -that cross his hand with a piece of silver; and by him, as well as by -the Pope, you may be Canonized for mony: Thus he is a meer _Balaam_, -that blesseth and curseth for reward: he that opposeth him, acts the -part of an Angel; but he that submits to him is worse then an Ass. If -you consider his constancy, he is a kind of _Religious Proteus_, that is -now ready to fawn upon that Power against which he hath so long bark’d. -If therefore there be a Church in _England_ which consists of men, -surely, _The Orthodox, faithful, constant Ministers, are the Doors, -Windows, Pillars, Bells and Candlesticks_; and the rest serve only for -_Weathercocks_. - -It is confessed, that at the beginning of this happy Reformation, he was -a little stubborn: perhaps, expecting a second War; but now (poor heart) -he hath learned to pray for his Majesty: but (if you could hear the -language of his Soul) it is so, as impatient heirs pray for their rich -fathers. There are two sorts of men, who having escaped a deserved pair -of Gallows, pray for the King very strangely, that is, a Felon, whilst -the Executioner burns his hand; and a Traytor, whilst the Devil sears -his Conscience. - -If you would know his name, you may finde it subscrib’d to an ugly -Petition; for where _Bradshaw_ was a _Pilate_ that condemned, he was one -of those Jews that cry’d Crucifie. He professes sorrow for the Martyrdom -of our late Soveraign; but believe him not, for his hand helped to hale -him to the Block. In a word, he is (at best) but a State-Crocodile, and -one that is Maudlin-drunk with the Kings blood. - -No more, but if you chance to meet with a Hue and Cry, you may tell -them, that he was lately in a Sequestred Parsonage. - -This Character was hugely pleasing to the Drugster; and indeed, he and -his two Companions, the Scrivener, and _Gregory_ the Taylor, did all -conclude, that it was very ingeniously true, and gave much satisfaction -to them in that particular; and they all agreed, _That the Dissenters -from the Church, were the Murtherers of their Prince_. - -They all so well approving of what had been said of these Varlets, I -told them that I could likewise relate somewhat else of the same -Gentlemans composure, who writ that _Character_; and which I did -conclude to be altogether as ingenious, and that it was a great novelty, -having never as yet been in Print: they being earnest in their desires -to hear me, I told them it was only the fifth Fable of _Æsop_ Moralized; -and thereupon I began as follows: - - _The Brutes would once go hunt: a nimble Crew - Of those that dwell in Dens and Caves pursue - And take a goodly Stag, who in his fall - Proclaims sufficient booties unto all. - Each Beast being troubled with their hungry maws, - Were urging Clyents to their panting Jaws: - Divide, says one; another cries, Cast lots; - With that, the Lyon Roars, Away ye Scots: - Who’s that who says divide? pray be content, - The first part’s mine, because most excellent; - And but one part! nay, then you do me wrong, - A second part is mine, because most strong; - And if you dare give credit to my word, - Our pain and sweat have merited a third. - Now there remains a fourth, which is but small, - And scarce worth speaking of amongst you all; - Which you may give me willingly; and thus, - Renew the friendship betwixt you and us. - Be wise therefore; is it more safe to move - A Lyons anger, or confirm his love? - For if you shew the least unwillingness, - I’ll make you know the Senior of your Mess. - This said, the Hunters were amaz’d thereat; - They knew their distance, and they durst not prate, - But hung their tails betwixt their legs for shame, - And went away more hungry then they came._ - -This, said I, was the Fable, which though it had already admitted of -many Paraphrases and Morals, yet was never yet in my opinion so fit and -aptly moralized, as in what I shall here recite, which I did thus: - - _But take away the Brutes, and clear the Stage; - Enter those mighty Nimrods of the Age: - That cursed Crew that hunted for a Throne, - And made a Babel in Religion. - Lo here they come, that_ England _did express - To be more brutish than a Wilderness: - A Wide-mouth’d-yelping-cur, with a long ear, - Of a Scotch brood, they call’d him ----: - Cerberus was his Syre, and for his dam - A Beast to whom_ Adam _never gave name. - The solemn Covenant which he did take, - Hung like a pair of Couples on his neck: - The which he soon shook off; nay more, the Dog - Threw by his conscience, 'twas a tedious Clog. - And then began the game: Actæons hounds - Ne'er gave their Master half so many wounds, - As these their King: it was a hellish brood - That took the sent of none but Royal blood. - Loud was their Cry, and nimble was their Race; - A sadder hunting far than_ Chevy Chase. - _But at the length, the Royal Hart they take, - Nor would they spare his life for_ Cæsars _sake; - But he must dye, yet Noble ---- scorns - His share, ---- onely got the Horns. - But like the Lyon,_ Cromwel, _that great man, - Made of_ Behemoth _and_ Leviathan, - _Thus speaks; And do you think, my friends, to share - That Prize in Peace, which I obtain’d in War? - Divide the spoil, and then as General I - Claim the first part due for my Excellency. - A second part our able strength demands; - A third is mine, 'cause these victorious hands - In all those fights wherein we had to do, - Were the most painful and most prosperous too. - Thus our activity, and strength, and worth, - Have won three parts, there onely rests a fourth; - Which we’ll with love accept, but if deny’d, - Our sword shall teach you better to divide. - Thus, as our Saviours Vesture, which might not - Be cut in pieces, was obtain’d by lot: - So our great_ Charles _his power, which could not be - Dissolv’d into an Aristocracie, - Was Tyrant_ Cromwels _share; and now our whips - Were turn’d to Scorpions: Now the grand Eclipse - Began; we saw no Sun for twice seven years, - Onely two fatal Stars by turns appears: - Protectorship, and Rumpship did prevail:_ - Nol _was the_ Dragons _head, and they the tail. - But welcome_ Charles _the Second, happy are we, - That_ Britain_’s Monarchy’s restor’d in thee; - If_ Cromwels _life had put a period to't, - It’d both begun and ended in a Brute._ - -If they were pleas’d with the foregoing Characters, this Fable thus -moralized gave them much more satisfaction, and highly contented them; -for the truth contained in it, was undeniable, and it was expressed with -much ingenuity, and they told me that certainly he that composed these -two things, the Character and Fable, was a person very ingenious, and -able to convert any that were seduced in that Faction, unless they were -very obstinate, as most of that Faction were: for having been Rebellious -to their Prince, they made that saying true, _That Rebellion is as the -sin of Witchcraft, not to be repented of_. - -In this discourse of the several Factions in Religion we spent some -time; and the Drugster being best acquainted with all of them, made a -discourse of every one in particular from top to bottom: and when he -came to speak of them, he told us that he supposed there would now in a -short time be some end of these growing Factions; Because, said he, that -Quakerism is the last that is risen up, and it is now above twelve years -since it began to be famous; and though hitherto it encreases, yet they -have not found any other novelty from that, as at first there was out of -the first Religious faction: but there is none that is produced by the -Quaker; so that it is hoped that will be the last of the Factions. I -have heard of one small Faction that contradicts the Quakers, and that -is one _Muggeltons_ Sect, who together with one _Reeve_, does pretend to -be the two last Witnesses that are to come upon earth. _Reeve_ is some -time since dead, but _Muggleton_ surviving him, is a great enemy to the -Quakers, and their chief Opponent; for they questioning his Call, he for -that cause Damns them; and so absolute he is, that he says, after he -hath damn’d them, they cannot be saved, not by Providence it self. He -professes in one of his writings, being an Interpretation of the 11 -Chapter of the _Revelations_, That he, and he alone can give a true -Interpretation of the Scripture, and unfold the whole Counsel of God, -concerning himself, the Devil, and all Mankind from the foundation of -the world to all Eternity; and this was never revealed by any of the -sons of men, untill now: Thus subscribing his Papers, By _Lodowick -Muggleton_, one of the two last Commissionated Witnesses and Prophets of -the only High, Immortal, Glorious God, _Christ Jesus_. - -We told the Drugster that this Sect of _Muggletons_ we had not heard of; -and I being very desirous to be further acquainted with this opinion, -asked him if he had read his Writings, Yes, said he, and there is as -extraordinary matters and opinions handled and treated of therein, as -any Sect that this last age hath produced: nay, and more absolute he -would make himself then all others; but he more especially writes -against the Quakers, in a manner condemning them all in general. I -desiring to be more particularly informed of his writings, he granted my -request, and proceeded as followeth: - -This Book of his writing, said he, falling into the hands of one _Edward -Bourn_ a Quaker, is by him despised and cavilled at; for, he said that -he had perused it till he was weary with looking into it, for it was one -of the dirtiest and confusedst pieces of work that ever he saw: and many -other particular cavils had he against it; which _Muggleton_ hearing of, -is so much offended, that he writes a Letter to him, dated in _August_ -1662. and there he thus concludes: _I write these Lines unto you_ Edward -Bourn, _knowing you to be of the seed of the Serpent, and appointed to -eternal Damnation before you were born; though you know it not, I do -know it, by your speaking evil of that Doctrine which is declared by us -the Witnesses of the Spirit, by calling it deceit, confusion, and lies, -with many more wicked speeches against the purest truth that ever was -declared by Prophet or Apostle, because this is the Commission of the -Spirit, and the last Witness of God on Earth_. - -_Therefore, for these your hard sayings against the Doctrine of this -Commission of the Spirit; In obedience unto my Commission, I pronounce -you cursed and damned, both Soul and Body, from the presence of God, -elect men and Angels, to Eternity; neither shall that light within you, -nor any God deliver you from this curse, but according to my word it -shall be upon you, because you shall know, that God hath given power -unto Man to curse you to eternity, and that there is a Prophet of the -Lord now in_ England. - -This Letter being thus subscribed, was printed and sent to the said -_Edward Bourn_. Also another to one _Samuel Hooker_ and _W. S._ both -Quakers, wherein amongst other things he thus writes: - -_First, I declare as I am a Prophet and Messenger of the true God, that -the people called Quakers are not the children of the most high God, but -for the generality of them, they are children of the Devil, and are the -very Seed of the Devil, and were begotten by him; and I (as I am an -Ambassador ordained of God by voyce of Words) can as truely say; that -they are the Seed of the Serpent, and so the children of the Devil, as -Christ did to the Jews, when he said, that_ they were Serpents, _yea_ -Devils, _and the_ Devil was their father. _So can I say by you Quakers, -and many thousands more as well as you, that you were the children of -the Devil, that were begotten by him, and not begotten by_ Adam, _who -never came through the loyns of_ Adam, _though they came through the -womb of_ Eve. _For this I know,_ Cain _was the first-born of the Devil, -and_ Adam _had no part in the begetting of him. And from this_ Cain -_came the Jews that Christ called_ Serpents _and_ Devils. - -Much more he writes against the Quakers, and is as absolute in his -sentence of Damnation against these two, being almost in the same words -as the former. His writings in general are filled with many strange -Opinions, and he is now the greatest Enemy of the Quakers, telling them, -that they are but some of the melancholy sort of Ranters, and by falling -from Ranting to Quaking, are now worse then before; for before they were -in the Wilderness, but are now returned back into _Egypt_, and so the -further off from entring into the Land of _Canaan_: and in one place he -is pretty pleasant with the Quakers, for saith he, The greatest things -that ever I heard the Quakers do, is to find fault with a piece of -Ribbon, Gold-button, or a Bandstring, and such like, and to possess -themselves with a melancholly spirit of Witchcraft, and so fall into -Witchcraft-fits, to lie humming and groaning, which doth fright the -beholders; so instead of those merry-Devils which they had upon the -Ranting-score, where all was good, lying with their Neighbours wife, -deflowring Virgins, cozening and cheating, and destroying every one in -their outward Estate which did entertain them, and now that Devil is -cast out, now they are grown in as much extream on the other side; for -now they are grown so precise and exact for Apparel and for words, no -words must be placed out of joynt, so that no man can almost tell how to -deal with them; and this melancholly Devil hath cast out the Ranting -Devil, which makes them so proud and stiff-necked, thinking themselves -that they are better then other people, when as they are worse; for they -are possessed with the Spirit of Witchcraft, which makes them two-fold -more the children of the Devil then they were before; which none can -discover but this Commission of the Spirit; neither did I ever hear by -any which heard the Quakers speak, that they did ever preach any sound -Doctrine, but only exhort people to hearken to the light within them, -which is a very low & easie thing for every ordinary understanding to -comprehend; and this is the cause there is such a multitude of men and -women fall into it, _&c._ And thus did he proceed, his whole writing -being to pull them down, and set himself up. - -Soon after the Printing of these Letters, I met with a Quaker, an -acquaintance of mine, and asked of him whether he had seen these Letters -of _Muggletons_, which went by the name of _The Neck of the Quakers -broken, or cut in sunder by the two-edg’d sword of the Spirit, which is -put into my mouth_. He reply’d, Yea he had. What thinkest thou, said I, -of those of your perswasion in general, and more particularly of those -persons whom he hath damn’d? I think him to be a deluded person, said -he, for I have known him long, and also his fellow Prophet _Reeve_, who -is since dead: and I remember this one passage, that one of our -perswasion did calmly discourse with _Reeve_ about many principal things -of his Judgement and Opinion: and though they did not agree to every -thing, yet _Reeve_ said he believed he would be converted, for that he -was confident he was of the seed of Faith, and not of that of the Devil; -onely that his eyes were not yet opened, but in time they would. And -thus they parted. - -Soon after _Muggleton_ (who was always more vigilant than _Reeve_) being -affronted by some Quakers, according to his custom pronounced the -sentence of damnation against them; which the Quakers who had discoursed -with _Reeve_ hearing, and meeting with _Muggleton_, told him he had done -very ill, in being so rash as to damn them: And further, charged him -with wandring up and down to make Sects. To this _Muggleton_ replyed; It -is not I, it is those of the Quakers that wander up and down; as those -that went to _New England_, and _John Perrot_ unto _Rome_, to get the -Pope and his Bishops to be Disciples of Christ; and there to be punished -in his body: and when he came home again, to be damn’d to eternity, by -me, for his pains; because he went by the light within him, and was not -sent by the voice of God without him: Therefore eternal damnation will -be his reward for going without a Commission from God; and so will all -the Ministers of the Quakers. And whereas you say that my mouth is full -of cursing, and that I shall reap of the same; likewise you say, that I -am out of _Christs_ and the Apostles Doctrine, that said, _bless and -curse not_, with many other sayings: As for my mouth being full of -cursing, that is my Commission: neither do I curse any but Devils, which -are appointed for it of God; and there is never a one that I have -cursed, that shall escape that curse which I have denounced upon them; -neither will any God deliver them from it: for I do curse none but the -Seed of the Serpent, who had his curse denounced upon him and his Seed, -at the beginning by God himself. - -To this discourse of _Muggletons_, our Brother the Quaker making some -angry reply, in contradicting what he had said, _Muggleton_ did for that -cause presently pronounce the sentence of Damnation, alledging that he -was of the Seed of the Devil. Thus, said the _Quaker_, though _Reeve_ -said he was not of the Seed of the Devil; yet _Muggleton_, his -fellow-Prophet, said he was, and therefore proceeded against him to -damnation. Now whether he be damned or saved, judge you: And therefore, -said he, I think it matters not much what he says, because they thus -contradict one another. - -And thus we parted, and I concluded, that as it was no great matter what -_Muggleton_ said or did; so there was no great heed to be taken with -what was, or should be said or done by the _Quakers_: I believing and -knowing that what _Muggleton_ had said of them as to their humours, and -falling from _Ranting_ to _Quaking_, and such like particulars, to be -true; though I believed him, and all other Factions to be alike deluded -and mistaken in the general. - -And, continued he, though this _Muggletons_ opinions and Doctrine be -thus strange, and he a very inconsiderable unlearned fellow, being by -Profession a Taylor; yet he hath gained many to his belief, who give him -much respect; but he takes no money of them, onely he gets his writings -printed, and distributing them among his people, they pay him for them: -but in the main, he works at his Trade for a lively-hood: and he hath, -as well as the _Quakers_, suffered Imprisonment, but hath been released -and favoured, as I have heard, by some persons of Honour, who are -well-willers to him. - -Thus did the Drugster discourse of the Factions, and we with him did -hope and conclude, that since there was no greater a growth in faction, -there having been no new ones for some years last past, that it was more -then probable that they would consume and moulder away of themselves. - -The forenoon being spent wholly in the large Narrative of the Adventures -of my now fellow-Companions and Guests, and the most of the afternoon in -this Discourse, it was time now to think of parting; and they being -mindful of the entertainment they were to give me the next day on board -of their Ship, being out of my house furnished with some necessary -provisions, all parted from me. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXXIII. - -_He is treated by the Travellers on board of their Ship, where he sees - the two women-Travellers: he invites and entertains them at his house; - where upon enquiry and discourse, he discovers the two Women to be of - his acquaintance when in_ England. - - -My Company being thus parted from me, I began to consider all the -passages that had been this day related to me; and after a serious -contemplation of them, I concluded, that I might place this day as the -most remarkable in all my life; for I was acquainted with so much -variety of experiences, as I had in a manner been hitherto wholly -ignorant of; what had happened to me in the former part of my life, -having been trivial in comparison of what I had now lately heard: and I -concluded, that if I should have travelled to all parts of the world to -have found out Companions fit for me, I could never have been better -accommodated with those that should have been so agreeable to my natural -inclination, then those whom fortune had now brought to me. I had long -since made it my resolve, to make my life as comfortable as I could, -according to the old saying amongst those of my quality, _Though a short -life, yet a merry_: and I saw Providence had put such an opportunity -into my hands, that I had all things provided for me, and nothing before -their arrival was wanting but such a Society. For I had a plentiful -estate, but that gave me little content, being without the usual society -of the Wits; and I now was likely not only to enjoy that in a full -measure, but also there was some female Company, the two Lasses in Mens -apparel, who I understood were good Girls, and such I hoped as would not -prove hard-hearted, and deny one of their Country-men the usual civility -of their enjoyments: I did not much question it, because indeed I was so -much in favour with _Venus_, that I was hardly ever refused that -courtesie by any of her Votaresses. - -I told my wife, there was a great likelihood of much profit to be gained -by these Guests, who were resolved to take up my house wholly for their -quarters, and therefore I ordered all things to be provided in ample -manner for their constant entertainment: for though I was now rich -enough, yet I knew not how soon fortune might turn tayl upon me, and -therefore knowing that my Guests were all well provided with Moneys, I -was resolved to put in with them for a share of it: But I had no -thoughts of wronging them, or putting any trick upon them; for it is -accounted a very great crime in the greatest proficient of Roguery, to -cozen or cheat his fellow-Thief, and a thing seldome done amongst them. -I had now some thoughts of leaving my black wife and that Country; and -when these my new acquaintance should leave this place for another, as I -suppose they would, then to go with them, for there was nothing there -that gave any great invitation to stay in it, my inclination leading me -rather to visit some _European_ Country. - -These considerations took me up some time; and night coming on, I betook -me to my Cot, where I took my ordinary repose; and the next morning -being come, I apparelled my self the richest that I could, that I might -add some grace to my person, being to visit two of my Country-women, in -whose favour I was desirous to get some place. Being thus accoutred, I -went to the Sea-side, and with the help of a Boat was soon aboard the -Ship; where I was welcomed by the Captain and the rest of the Company, -and by them conducted into the great Cabin, where was no other Company -but the two Women; who now being apparelled in their Womans habit _A la -mode d'Anglois_, I was very well pleased, not having for a long time -seen any thing so acceptable and pleasant: I had not forgotten our -English Fashion of saluting them, neither were they backward in rising -and meeting me in order thereto: that done, I placed my self between -them; I soon began a discourse to them, which I knew would not at all be -displeasing, and that was commending their Beauties, telling them, that -if the present Emperour of the Country, the _Great Mogul_, did but -understand what a treasure he had in his Country by their arrival, that -he would quickly secure it to himself, and hinder the prosecution of -their Voyage any further. To this they reply’d, that they did not -believe he would see any thing in them that should merit such an esteem: -but added one of them, If he should do so, and be never so desirous of -my Company, yet I am better satisfied (in the Society that I am at -present in possession of) then if I were courted and served by the -greatest Prince upon Earth. - - -To this so generous speech, I repli’d, that those persons who had the -honour to be her servants were in that very happy. These Complements -being pass’d, drink was brought, and after that Victuals, which we had -in great plenty, there being no want of any thing that could be had at -the best mans table in _England_; and all the dishes of Meat were -dress’d in the English fashion, by a Cook of that Country. After Dinner -we fell again to discourse, the Women being very desirous of Novelties, -and to be acquainted with the Customs of the Country, especially of -those used by Women: but when I told them of that Custom of the better -sort of Country-women, how they usually accompanied their Husbands in -death, by burning their living with their Husbands dead bodies, they -were not very well pleased therewith, accounting it great folly: for, -said they, it cannot possibly do their Husbands any good, and why they -should so destroy themselves out of a complement, was foolish. To pass -through, and accompany a Husband or Friend whilst living in all dangers, -is what is befitting; but there being no remedy for death, nor no -present enjoyment after death, thus to cast away themselves, is -ridiculous. We allowed of their Opinions, as grounded upon reason: I -asked them how they liked our Men, the Inhabitants; Not at all, said one -of them, as a Husband or Bed-fellow, but if there were no other man to -be had, we must be contented with them, rather than none, as well as you -are with the Native-women. Various were our Discourses in which we -entertained one another with much pleasure, having a lusty bowl of Punch -still standing by us, which as we drank off, we renewed, and at some of -our frolicks, one of the great Guns was discharged. I had ey’d both -these women very curiously, and did imagine, that, I had formerly seen -them, and had some acquaintance with them. I knew one of them more -particularly by the tone of her voice, but it having been so long since -I had seen either, I could not call them to mind; I did not at all think -it convenient to ask them any particular questions, referring that to a -greater privacy. I being now acquainted with most of their transactions, -they asked my advice in disposing their moneys, and selling their -Commodities, and what to buy to turn to the best advantage? To all these -Questions I gave them the best answers I could, to their satisfaction; -and now night coming on, I desired to leave them, and invited them all -to my house the next day, they not only concluded on that, but agreed -that the Women should constantly take my house for their quarters, it -being more convenient then on board of the Ship, they coming in their -mens apparel, and I providing for them with all privacy; to this I -agreed, and after a fresh cup of Wine, and my ordinary salutes to the -women, I left them, and went home to my wife, who at my desire provided -all things necessary, not only for the next days entertainment, but for -the future conveniency of my lodgers, who were not to be known to her -for other than men. - -The next day they came, and we were again all merry; but some occasions -calling away the men, the women were left alone with me. I was now -resolv’d to enquire whether they had never known me: they both replied, -Not that they at present knew of; but they both said, that certainly -they had seen me in _England_, but at present they could not remember -where: wherefore they prayed me to give them some account of my -condition and quality when I lived in _England_: To this I repli’d, that -I had been indeed of all conditions, and a very rambler, and it was a -great chance, but if they had been in any publique house of -Entertainment, that I might have seen them there: to this they both -answered, that they had for some time been publique enough in -entertaining Gentleman in their Company with much freedom: But, said one -of them, who was the Scriveners Mistress, I have certainly seen and -known you before I undertook any such courses, for if I be not mistaken, -you are the man did first deceive me, and therefore, I pray, tell me, if -in your travels in _England_, you did not light into a Farmers house, -and did some kindnesses or discourtesies to his Daughter, and then left -her. I hearing her say this, after some small pause, recollected my -self, and seriously viewing her, concluded her to be the very Farmers -Daughter whose Maidenhead I had bereaved her of, and in requital left -her, and gave her no other satisfaction then a paper of Verses. I now -being resolv’d in my opinion, ran to her, and embracing her, begg’d -pardon for that affront, telling her, that it was onely one of those -many youthful tricks whereof I had been guilty. She at first out of -sence of the affront that I had done her, could not forbear weeping; but -I gave her so many good words, that in fine she was well enough -satisfied, and lovingly permitted me to embrace and kiss her. - -The other woman hearing that my acquaintance with her Companion began -with the loss of her Virginity, mused and blushed, and very strictly -beholding me, said, And truly, if I be not mistaken, I purchased my -acquaintance with you with the same loss: but I was deceived by you in a -more subtil manner than this my Companion; for she knowing you to be a -man, permitted you to her bed (as she hath formerly related to me.) But -if you are the person that I mean (as I now think you are) you became my -bedfellow by a mistake; for not onely I, but many others of the Family -believed you to be a Woman. I hearing her say this, fixed my eyes upon -her, but could not yet perfectly remember her: but to the discourse she -made, I gave this answer; Truly Madam, I have been often guilty of -Female frauds; and during the whole course of my life, I endeavoured -chiefly to have the company of a Female; and I hope if you were one of -those with whom I lay at a Boarding-school, where I went for a -Servant-Maid, that you will forgive me that fact; for if it were not -there, I then cannot tell where I should have so much happiness as to -enjoy you. There it was, replyed she, where I lost my Virginity and -honour, and which I have so often repented of; for I was then -well-beloved of an indulgent Father, who for that fact cast me off; and -ever since I have been forced to wander like a Vagabond, and by infamous -courses to gain a livelyhood, and with this she wept. - -I was much amaz’d at these two adventures, and indeed pittyed them both; -but more especially the last, whom I had so long since deceaved; and -seeing her tears, I kneel’d down to her, begging her pardon, and telling -her that what was pass’d, was not to be prevented or help’d; but if she -pleas’d, I would for the future be her humble servant in assisting her -in what I might. To this she told me, that she knew there was no remedy -for what was passed; but that the remembrance of that first misfortune -could not but sensibly afflict her, but she should throw off that -sorrow, and make the best of a bad matter; and thank providence, that -since it was no better that it was no worse: and as she had hitherto -been well enough contented with her condition, so she intended to frame -her spirit and minde to be so for the future; and that now she had the -satisfaction she had often desired in seeing that person, who first -tasted and crop’d her Virgin-Flower. Her Companion did likewise say, -that it was the greatest satisfaction she had ever received since the -loss of my company, that she had again found me; for (notwithstanding my -base and abrupt leaving her) she had still preserved a more cordial love -for me, then for any person she had ever since then enjoy’d: The other -said the same, and though I was partly unknown to her, when I lay with -her, as being disguised in womans apparel; yet she still had me in her -memory, and often wished for the sight of me: And from this discourse we -all concluded, that though a woman had many Husbands or Servants, yet -she seldom loved any man with so much affection, as him with whom she -first tryed and tasted the effects of love, and who had her Virginity. - -Well Ladies, said I, I am so much bound to you for preserving an -affection for me, who have so unworthily deserved it, That I shall -dedicate the remaining part of my life, wholly to obey and serve you. As -for that profession of your love now, said the Drugsters Mistress, (who -was the youngest, and her, who I had enjoy’d at the Boarding-school) it -matters not much, for we have had experience enough in the World to -shift for our selves; and neither are we unprovided of those who you -know are our servants, and who will take care for us, and save you that -trouble. No trouble at all, replyed I, but an honour which I pray you to -bestow on me to serve you in any degree. - -They were very much surpriz’d, and so was I at this adventure: And I -thought it was best to talk no more of it at present: wherefore I call’d -for some Wine, and such banqueting cheer as I had, and desired them to -participate of it, which they did; and so I at present diverted them -from that profound melancholy, wherein they were brought upon this -occasion. At length they again reassumed their jovial temper; and -beginning to be a little frollick, I assisted them in that humour: but I -was very earnest to know their adventures, being, as I supposed somewhat -concerned therein, they being both with Child by me when I left them; I -therefore beg’d the satisfaction to know what did become of the Fruit of -our enjoyments, those Children which I suppose they had by me; for I -told them I was not unsensible of the condition I left them in, when I -parted from them. Truly, reply’d the Drugsters Mistress, who was named -_Mary_, I know not at all what became of mine since it was born. And, -said the other, who was the Scriveners Mistress, and was named -_Dorothy_, and had been the Farmers Daughter, I know but little of mine -since it was a year old. I was desirous to hear of both of them their -several fortunes, or rather misfortunes since I first knew them; and -they agreeing to give me that satisfaction, it was concluded that Mrs. -_Mary_, with whom I had first to do, should first relate her story: and -therefore she began as followeth. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXXIV. - -_Mrs. Mary relates how that she, being got with Child at the - Boarding-school, is renounced by her Parents, but provided for her by - her Aunt, where she lay in of a Daughter: after which she is courted - in way of marriage by a Gentleman, who hearing of her mischance, - instead of marriage onely abuses her; and being ingaged in a quarrel - about her, leaves her to shift for her self,_ &c. - - -In the discourse that I shall make to you concerning those accidents or -misfortunes that have befallen me, I shall neither be reserved nor -tedious, but plain and short; for I have no reason to disguise any of my -actions to two such persons, who are so generally well acquainted with -the general affairs of the World, and who have such a particular -knowledge of me: Though, said she to me, I must needs confess I received -very much pleasure in the first imbraces I had with you; when, though I -supposed my self in bed with one of my own Sex, yet I found the -contrary, and then tasted the pleasures of a Male bedfellow: though, -said I, the sweets of that converse were delightful at present; yet I -have through that onely occasion suffered many crosses, and been -accompanied with much affliction and trouble, which soon overtook me. - -I was very young, not being above sixteen years of age when I first lay -with you; and so innocent I was at that age, that I did not imagine that -I should have found so sudden an alteration in my body, as was thereby -occasioned; neither did I conceive what would be the effects thereof, -till some of my other companions, who had lain with you before me, were -discovered to be sick, and the occasion of their distemper being -enquired into, it was found they were with Child, and then I did guess -my self to be in the same condition. - -I suppose you are not ignorant of what you had done, and therefore took -your flight; but though you contrived your escape cunningly enough by -putting on mens apparel, yet it was observed, and you were followed so -narrowly, that we supposed you had been taken, but it proved otherwise. -Yes, replied I, when I made my escape, I made for _London_, and being -habited in a suit of Clothes of my Mistresses sons, I was fearful of -being discovered and known by them, and therefore meeting with a young -man of my acquaintance: I remember, I perswaded him to exchange Clothes -with me, and so I escaped; but I would gladly know how he came off. -Truely, replied Mrs. _Mary_, that story was somewhat strange, for the -Constable who seized him, had orders not to make much noise in the -matter, but only to secure him at present in his own house, which he -having done, came to our Boarding-School, and acquainted our Mistress -that he had secured the party; this being known, my Mistress sent her -son whose Clothes were stollen to the place; where in stead of finding -our maid _Jane_ (for by that name, I remember you went, when you lived -with us) he saw a strange young man in his Clothes, though he was told -before you had his Clothes on, which he yet saw before him, yet he knew -you well enough, not to be so mistaken: for the party that was in that -habit was nothing like you; he therefore thought that all that had been -reported to him was false, till he had made a further enquiry of the -young man your friend, who was first asked, where he had those Clothes: -he not knowing any reason he should deny any thing of the truth, freely -and fully acknowledged that he had them in exchange of his own, of a -young man his friend; and being asked many other questions, As whether -he knew you? and knew you to be a man? and where this exchange was made? -He fully resolved his Examiners of all questions, and proved the -exchange of Clothes by the people of the house where the exchange was -made. - -My Mistresses son being returned with this answer to his Mother, it -caused great wonder in all who were not privy to your disguize, but -there being about seven or eight of us, who were knowing of that secret, -and were known to lie with you, we were all privately examined, and some -of us having been sick for some time before, and now strictly examined -of the cause, and whether we knew any thing of your disguize, and -whether you were man or woman; we could not hide or deny our knowledge -thereof. Upon this discovery, our Mistress (though she was termed a very -discreet person) was so outragious, that we thought she would have lost -the ordinary use of her Sences; and several revenges she propounded to -take of you, not thinking you were escaped her power: but when she -understood that you were gone, she caused all privy search and enquiry -to be made after you, but to no purpose. The young man, your friend, who -had been secured, was discharged, as being found wholly innocent of the -crime; and neither was he deprived of his Clothes, but had them freely -given to him, and a good sum of money promised him if he could find and -secure you: but though much endeavour was used to find you, yet I could -never hear any thing of you, till this late encounter. - -But to proceed in my story, our Mistress upon second thoughts resolved -to keep this business private for some longer time, to see how many of -those seven or eight with whom you had lain, would prove with child; and -it was not long before she found that five of the number were pregnant, -whereof I was one. How she ordered the matter with the rest, I know not; -but for my own part, my father being made acquainted with my misfortune, -wholly refused to take any care or notice of me; neither have I ever -since seen his face; for though I suppose he loved me well enough; yet I -had a Mother-in-law, who might perswade him to slight me, and made use -of this occasion to throw me off: but though I was thus cast off by my -father, yet I had an Aunt, who was sister to my own mother, who came and -visited me; and finding that what was pass’d could not be help’d, took -me home with her to her house, where after the usual time of Womens -breeding and bearing children, I was delivered of a Daughter, which was -soon after its birth sent further into the Country to be nursed: and I -suppose it was carried thus privately, in hopes to soulder up the crack -that might be in my reputation, which though it did for the present, yet -it soon after brake out again. - -For a young Gentleman who lived in the next Town to that where my Aunt -dwelt, having seen me, fell deeply in love with me, and often waited on -me at my Aunts, and took many opportunites of meeting me abroad. Though -I liked and loved him well enough, and could have been pleased to have -entertained his love with liking at the first offer of it, yet I was -commanded by my Aunt to stand off, and be coy in my entertaining of him, -lest, as she said, he might by my freeness suspect me of lightness: for -the matter had been so privately carried in my lying in, that it was not -known to him, nor any, but some few in the House; and to all others I -passed as a Virgin. I taking this advice of my Aunt, gave him but -indifferent entertainment; so that he who was passionately in love with -me, devised all ways he could to woe, please and win me; and to that end -he not only presented me with many Gifts, as marks of his affection, but -also (according to custom) and that so largely, that she promised him -all her assistance, and gave him notice of all opportunities whereby he -might wait on me, and please me. All things were now brought to a very -good pass, and my Aunt had so prudently managed this affair, that my -Father was content to part from a considerable sum of money for my -advancement; which was to the full satisfaction of the Gentleman who -courted me. - -There wanted nothing now to conclude this affair but the accomplishment -of a few days, in which all Writings were to be sealed, and the Wedding -to be consummated; when all was undone, and in that I undone, by the -treachery and perfidiousness of this my servant-maid. For she having -received Gifts of the young Gentleman, and I having angred her in a -trivial matter, she to be revenged on me, did acquaint my Suitor with my -condition, and that I should not die of my first child, for he should be -a father the first day of Marriage. Although at her first declaring this -matter to him, he could not give credit thereto, yet she affirmed the -same with so many, and so earnest asseverations, that he was confirmed -in that belief, and therefore enjoyning her to secresie and assistance, -and to that end presenting her with somewhat that was considerable, he -left her; and now being resolved to deceive me as I intended him; he -ordered his affairs accordingly, and to that end he caused some delay to -be used in the Writings. - -We being now, as I thought, as good as man and Wife, I entertained him -with much freedom, and he courted me with less observance, coming now -closer to me in his salutes and embraces: I was so pleased with him in -all his actions, that I became wholly at his Devotion, and therefore -without the consent and knowledge of my Aunt, we went together out of -the Town to a merry-making of several of his Acquaintance, where we -stay’d somewhat late, and he having caused me to drink to a good height, -made a halt by the way, and we went into an Inn of his Acquaintance, he -pretending somewhat was amiss in one of his Horses shoes: here we having -privacy, he attempted to be more free with me then ever, and prevailed -so far with me, that he had the examining of my Plackett, with more -freedom then modesty would allow of; but though he would have proceeded -further, yet I refused it; he seeing this desisted, and we again -remounted our Horses, and he conducted me safely to my Aunts: but -although it was very late, yet she sat up, and expected me; and -expressed her self very angry with him for keeping me out so -unseasonably; he did not well rellish her words, but reply’d somewhat -tartly to her again; which encreased her anger, and raised it to some -passion, and so in anger they at that time parted, he riding home to his -own house. I was likewise sufficiently school’d by my Aunt; but I -excused all with soft answers, and pleading obedience, which I thought I -was bound to pay him, being our Marriage was so soon to be celebrated. - -My Lover was resolved to make use of that days experience of my -easiness, and my Aunts anger, which he was well enough pleased should -continue, and therefore forbore coming to visit me; but he sent a -messenger to my Maid (who had betray’d me) to give him a meeting: she -obeyed his summons, and there, and then was my ruine contrived; for it -was agreed between them two, that she should perswade me to be ruled by -him in every thing, without acquainting my Aunt any more with my -proceedings; and a Letter was written, wherein he expressed a -continuance of his love, and desires of mine; and for a proof thereof, -he desired me to provide my self to meet him at a place appointed; which -I did, and there we concluded to go for _London_ together, where he -promised to marry me without any more delays. I believing him in every -thing (being perswaded thereto by my treacherous servant) took onely -some few necessaries with me, and so went to him. And thus leaving all, -went with him to _London_, where when we were arrived, he went to some -lodgings which he had provided, as he said, for himself and wife. I was -at first contented with the discourse and name of wife; but when -bed-time came, I was not fully satisfied to go to bed with him; which -though I at first opposed, yet in the end, after many protestations of -his next days performance of marriage, I consented to, and thereby -agreed to my undoing; for the next day, instead of marriage, he went out -in the morning, leaving me onely with the Landlady of the house, and -returned not in two days; and then he pretended he had been in great -vexation, for that the morning he left me, he being going to speak with -a Priest to marry us, he was met with by a person, to whom he was a -little indebted, who basely trappan’d and arrested him, and he was -forced to be in the custody of Bayliffs ever since, till he had -perswaded a friend to lend him some monies, which together with what he -had of his own, he said he had paid to his debtor, and so was -discharged. And now, said he to me, I have sent home for some more -monies, which I know will be brought me in two days time, and then I -shall put an end to this business of our marriage. - -Although I seemed discontented with what he told me, and did begin to -believe that he would abuse me; yet I knew it was to no purpose to be -very angry, and onely caused him to give me fresh protestations of the -honesty of his intentions, and that as soon as ever his money was come, -he would fulfil all my desires. - -Thus was I forced to be contented with what he said, and to comply with -him in all his desires: for we lay together; but I kept within doors -very privately, refusing to be seen by any body, till such time as our -Wedding should be over. - -But though two or three days and a week was now past since he pretended -he had sent into the Country for money, yet there came no returns; at -which I was very much discontented, he also seeming dissatisfyed. I then -told him, that I had brought a small sum of money with me, which I -supposed would be sufficient to pay the charges of that occasion. He -asked me how much I had, I told him about 10_l._ I remember he was -somewhat blanck, and at a nonpluss at this proposition: but he soon -recovering himself, told me that he expected 100_l._ to be brought him, -and that would be little enough to defray all the charge he intended to -be at; for he proposed to lay it all out in Clothes for me and himself, -that we might appear the more splendidly, not only to some friends in -_London_, whom he proposed to visit soon after marriage, but also in the -Country whither he intended in short time to return to demand my -portion, and settle all things according to the agreement of our -friends: and as for the small sum of 10_l._ he told me I would have -occasion to lay it out in trivial things on that occasion. - -Thus was I put off at this time; and indeed so often afterwards, that I -in plain terms told him that I supposed he intended to abuse me, he -being resolved to stand the brunt of all my exclamations at this time, -did not endeavour, as formerly to pacifie me, but rather provoked me to -say more, and be more angry with him, which I was, and reproached him -with the abuse he had done me. He having heard the utmost of what I -could say, in short told me, that he was the abused party; for should he -marry me, as he intended, he should have a greater charge to maintain -then I had told him of, for he had understood that I was Mother of a -Childe; and so the abuse that I would put on him was double: I was so -surprised with what he said, that I was more dead then alive, and could -not for a long time speak to him? and when I attempted it, I knew not -what to say for my self, for he directly told me, that he was acquainted -with every particular of that my misfortune: and thus having said, he -left me. - -Many and sad were the thoughts I entertained in my minde, and I -perceived my self to be miserable: for to return to my Aunt, I knew it -would be to no purpose, I having thus abused her in my last leaving her. -Therefore I concluded it was my best course at present to comply with -the desires of my first Lover, not knowing whom to flee to for refuge; -wherefore at his return home, I began to him in tears to lament my sad -condition, begging his pardon for what was past, cleerly confessing the -truth of all my former misfortune, and that I would for the future be -very obedient and constant to him in all things: he gave me the hearing -of what I said, and told me all should be well; but I could never finde -him after that inclinable to marry me, onely putting me off with one -pretence or other; and having a full enjoyment of me already, cared for -no more: and now to content and please him, I must not only entertain -several of his friends at home at our lodging, but also wait on him -abroad; and instead of Wife, I passed for his Cozen. - -Amongst other persons that came to visit him, there was a Gentleman of -good quality, who being of his intimate Acquaintance, was frequent at -our Lodgings: he taking his opportunity to find me alone, made a tender -of his love and service to me, and offered me his assistance in every -thing I should command him. I finding that he understood somewhat of my -condition already, and believing it would be to no purpose to conceal -any thing from him, did make him an exact and true narrative of my -misfortunes: he was much troubled at the recital of things so strange, -but did comfort me the best he could, promising me his best assistance -in putting his friend on to perform his promisie of Marriage: for, said -he, I know little reason he hath to deny or refuse it. For your first -misfortune at the Boarding-School, was so subtil a business, that you -cannot well be blamed for it. - -This Gentleman accordingly did endeavour to possess my hoped for Husband -with that opinion, and to perswade him to marry me, but all in vain; for -he had now all the sweets he could expect from me, having lain with me -now for above a moneth together, and in that time I endeavoured with all -the artifice I could, to give him all possible content: but he was now -cloy’d; and therefore told his friend, that for his Mistress he intended -to keep me, but never to have me for a Wife. I was neer distracted when -this answer was told me; but the Gentleman did again comfort me, -promising that he hoped in short time to put all things to rights again. -I seeing it was to no purpose to be angry, resolved to bear all things -with patience, and seem to be frolick, which was to a good height; and -this Gentleman seeing me in so merry a humor, was desirous to put in for -a share in the pleasure of my enjoyments, and to that end now courted me -indeed: he had been so civil to me in these late transactions, that I -could not handsomely refuse him any thing; but however, I for some time -held out against all his loving importunities; but he having an absolute -freedome in our lodging, so waited his opportunity, that he won me to -his embraces, and had a full possession of me. Thus was I enjoyed by two -men; but my last lover was very cautious in keeping this his enjoyment -from the knowledge of his friend, and we took opportunities in his -absence to renew our pleasures. But at length we grew so bold in these -practices, that my first Lover discovered us, and watching his -opportunity by hiding himself in the Chamber, he took us in the manner. -He discovering himself, used many outragious speeches to me and my -Companion, as, that he abused him, in perswading and urging him to marry -with one who was his prostitute: the other flew out into high -expressions; and being valorous enough, they drew their weapons, and -before I could get any to interpose and hinder their fight, my new Lover -was wounded, and that, so desperately, that he fell; the other seeing -that, and supposing him killed, fled, and so left me: and my wounded -friend being visited by Chirurgeons, recovered a little, but desired to -be removed to his own Lodgings, lest he might be prejudiced by the -various reports that would run upon this occasion; I was likewise -willing to have it so, as thinking it most convenient. - -Thus was I left alone, and I, who lately had two Lovers and Servants, -was now left without any; for my old Friend came no more after me, and -my new Servant who was wounded, was forced for his health-sake to be -carried into the Country. - -Now did I find my self truly distressed, for I wholly retired my self, -not seeing any man, and was only accompanied by my Landlady, and another -antient woman who frequented her house. In vain did I expect the return -of either of my Lovers, and almost all my Moneys was gone, in Diet, and -for payment of Lodging. My Landlady proposed several ways and courses -for me to take, as to send to my first friend who brought me thither, -which I did, but could not hear of him; she would have had me send to my -Aunt, but I wholly refused so to do, being resolved to bear with any -necessities, rather then again to apply my self to her. - -The other old woman, who, I told you, frequented our house, did then put -in some words to the Discourse, and my Landlady leaving us together, she -told me, that if I would be ruled by her, she would so order matters, -that I should want for nothing, and live the most pleasantest life in -the World. I who was now miserable enough, was well enough pleased to -hear of pleasure, and bid her say on: She thereupon told me, that it was -great pity that so delicate a beauty as mine should be closeted up, and -that I should spend that time in tears and lamentations, which might not -only be a pleasure to my self, but many others who would love me with a -great deal of passion; and whereas hitherto I had only been reserved to -serve the pleasures of one man, or two at the most, and for that I had -only reap’d sorrow and trouble, that I might command many, who would, -not only please and serve me, but I should command their purses by -having money enough at my own dispose. Many words to this purpose she -uttered, and many Arguments she used. Though at the first I did not -understand what she aimed at, yet by several Questions, which she -answered me, I found she would have me prostitute my body for my -pleasure, and to gain a livelyhood; and in fine, should get my living -with the hands I sat on. - -Though I had tasted man, as first with you, and afterwards had two at a -time, my two late Lovers, and by that was induced to desire more of the -same pleasures, yet I was extreamly unwilling to prostitute my body to -every fellow that should bring money in his hand; and this I supposed I -must do, if once I undertook that course. Thus I reasoned with this old -woman, but she told me, No, I should not do so, for I should only have -my choice of what, and whom I liked, and few of such would be profitable -enough to maintain me in a splendid Garb; and to this she gave me so -many reasons; that I consenting to leave my Lodgings, went with her to -the place where she conducted me. - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXXV. - -_She gives an account of her being entred into a Bawdy-house, where she - received great profit by the sale of her Maidenhead._ - - -I being now come to the place intended, was entertained by a Grave -ancient Matron, in whose face might be seen the ruines of no common -beauty; and the defects of that being occasioned by age, was -sufficiently supplied in a deportment and garb that was not common, -though it were very pleasant. She gave me many welcomes, and told me -that she had a very great respect for me, having heard of my -misfortunes, and hoping that she might put an end to my sorrows, and -afford me fresh pleasures: she had to that end employed that antient -woman as her Messenger, to perswade me to leave that house of Mourning -wherein I was, for hers, which was a Pallace, nay, a Paradice of -pleasure, wherein I should be accompanied with all manner of -contentment. I told her I should be willingly obedient to her commands, -in expectation of those pleasures she promised. Several other Discourses -we had, whereby she gave me instructions how to behave my self; and, -said she, since you intend to make one of my family, I shall give you an -account of my manner and method in governing the same. - -My house; continued she, being frequented by persons of all Qualities, -it is therefore necessary that I should be furnished with women, who -should be proper and fit for their respective accommodations, for the -Servants and Pages must be sometimes served as well as their Masters; I -therefore distinguish those women that belong unto me into three several -sorts and distinctions; and because I intend to make use of you only in -the first and principal, I shall therefore be more particular in my -Discourse to you of that. - -You are therefore to know, that as my house is well enough furnished -with women to accommodate my ordinary Guests, so I have several who are -kept abroad, who serve for the extraordinary accommodation of my best -sort of Guests, and those are such as are so squeamish stomacked, that -will not see one face above two or three times; with these a Maidenhead -is a very great dainty, for they lay out with me for one, sometimes a -quarter or half a year together. Now though I know you have parted from -yours already, yet I question not but to make a good Merchandize of -yours, and get a good round sum of money for you and my self; and if you -will be ruled by me in every thing, I shall so manage the business, that -you shall not have to do with above two or three in a twelve moneths -time, and they shall be such, as shall not only maintain you in a brave -garb and equipage, but you shall gain many Jewels, and a good round sum -of money. To this Discourse I replied, that I hoped she would perform -what she said, and in expectation thereof, I should dispose my self to -be wholly directed by her. - -This I remember was our first Discourse, or to this purpose, and she -presently ordered me a Lodging within a few doors of her house, where I -had such another as my self for my Companion, and we were very well -accommodated with every thing; my habit was somewhat altered, for I was -now put into the most exact mode that was then in best esteem. According -to her Directions I carried my self in every thing; and once a day I -waited on her, or else she came to me. I had not been there many days -before she told me that there was an opportunity to begin my business, -and therefore she advised me to go the next day to a Play; and set my -self out in the best manner that I could; but she advised me by all -means to decline drinking, or entertaining any Discourse with any -person, though I should be importuned thereto, I promised obedience to -her commands; and my Companion, who was my Bed-fellow, attended me to -the Play-house, where by giving great attention to the Comedy that was -acted, I did not mind those who made it their chief business to gaze on -me. The Play being done, I went out, but was stayed by two Gentlemen -(who by their Habits seemed of quality) who offered me their service to -wait on me. I at first answered them with silence; but they seeing I had -no other Company but my Bed-fellow, were very importunate to have me -accept of theirs. I told them that they were strangers, and therefore -durst not admit of their kind offer: Having said thus, I called for a -Coach, and though they still importuned me to accept of their Company, -yet I absolutely refused it, and so caused the Coachman to drive home. -That evening was I visited by our Matrona, who told me, I had done well, -for she had an account given her of my deportment: for, said she, it is -not unknown to me that you were offered the service of two Gentlemen, -one of which is a person who is a retainer to my house, an old beaten -Souldier, and several such we are forced to keep correspondency withal, -that we may have new fresh guests brought to our house. The other -Gentleman, said she, is one who hath a long time laid out for a fresh -bit, and he was carried to the Playhouse on purpose to see you; whom I -gave my correspondent his companion so just an account of, that he could -not miss knowing of you: they both followed your Coach to your Lodgings, -and have since been at mine, and my young Coxcomb is very much smitten -with your beauty, and offers any thing that he may enjoy your Company. I -have promised him my assistance, but he must come off well first; and I -question not but to manage him so, as in few days you shall find the -effects of his love in some noble present, therefore, said she, fail not -to be directed by me, and I doubt not but you will reap much pleasure -and profit. I having promised a just compliance to her desires, she -departed, leaving me in the company of her Bed-fellow, who that night -entertained me with a large account of her Aduentures. - -I remember she told me that when she first came acquainted with our -Matrona, she was pick’d up almost in the same manner as I had been; and -that in less then two monthes her Maidenhead was sold six times, for -which she had gained in presents to the value of fifty pounds; and I -suppose, said he, our Matrona gained above as much more in mony: since -then, said she, my first Customers have but rarely visited me; and she -having no more Customers for my Maidenhead, I now pass for a Merchants -wife, and am often sent for in that name; and I seldome miss a day -without one or two Customers, who entertain me as such a person. She -being thus free with me, I thought good to ask her some more Questions, -as, how she paid for her Diet and Lodging? and from whence she had -Clothes? To this she answered, that for the first half year her Diet was -paid for by the Matrona, who indeed had all the Money that was gained by -her; and as for Clothes, she had them first of all lent, or given by -her, and since given her by those who had to deal with her: and now, -said she, I pay for my own Diet, and have all the Money that is given -me, and all the profit she hath, is in selling her Wine and other things -she vendeth at our Collations; and now and then I suppose she gets half -a piece or a piece of a new Customer by procuring me. - -I was somewhat satisfied with this Discourse, and the next day I was -visited by the old woman (who brought me first acquainted with our -Matrona) who brought me a Letter from my Amorous Gallant; I remember it -was stuffed with Complements, and all the happiness he desired, was to -see me once more at the Playhouse. In this affair I taking advice with -our Matrona, it was resolved I should return no answer; but however, -within two days, I again went to the Playhouse, where I was no sooner -seated, but I was attended by my Gallant, and now I could not decline -his Company: during the Play he treated me with all manner of fruits, -and such things as could be purchased there; and the Play being done, he -offered me a farther treat at some other place; but I refused that, as -also any further converse with him, and again calling for a Coach, I -went home, refusing his Company, and being very shye and coy to all his -Proposals, which though many, yet prevailed not all upon me. - -The next day I had another Letter sent me, as also a Diamond-Ring of -twenty pound price as a present; I accepted of both, and then promised -within two days to meet him again at the Playhouse, where my Gallant -came richly accoutred in all his bravery, I then entertained discourse -with him, and the Play being ended, I at his earnest importunity -accepted of a Treat he quickly provided for me at the next Tavern. I -then told him, that I durst not stay, for I expected my Unkle to come -and visit me that evening at my Lodging, who was to bring me news out of -the Country about my father: he being desirous to please me, contented -to my departure, I promising to give him another meeting at a place we -appointed the next day, and thus we again parted. I was now so far -engaged with him; that I the next day again met him, and he then courted -me for enjoyment; but I seeming very angry, he to pacifie me, gave me a -gold Watch, and then I permitted him to embrace and kiss me; and though -I contradicted his proceeding further with me, yet he found by me, that -in time he might arrive to it. In this apprehension he was very prodigal -in his promises, and what great things he would do, if I would permit -him so great a happiness, he oftentimes wishing himself a single-man -(for he was married) that he might make himself happy in so brave a -Wife, as he knew I would be. These Discourses and others which he used, -and those many strict embraces which he gave me, did somewhat move me -with the titillations of the flesh; and I had much ado to continue -inexorable: but remembring how I had been deceived formerly, and withal -knowing that I had not our Matrona’s order as yet for fruition, I -therefore contradicted my own thoughts and wanton desires, and refused -to let him proceed to any other satisfaction then what he could get by -kissing and embracing me, and handling my brests and neck; and so we -again parted, I being still attended by my Bedfellow. - -We were no sooner come home, but she was sent for by our Matrona, to -whom she gave an account of our actions: but that was not all her -business, for when she returned home, and we were in bed together, she -told me that she had been at the sport with a brave Gallant, with whom -she had received great pleasure, for he was newly come to Town, and -willing enough to have continued the sport longer, but that it was late, -and therefore they had referred a continuance of the pleasures to the -next day; and that she had not only pleasure, but profit, for he had -given her three Crowns, and promised to be more beneficial to her during -his stay in _London_. - -This Discourse of hers, the remembrance of what she had been at, and -what I might have received if I would, did very much fire me, and I then -took up a resolve not much longer to delay those pleasures I had now so -long been without; and thereupon being visited the next day by my -Servant (and having the permission of my Matrona so to do) I entertained -him with somewhat more freedom then formerly, and went with him to the -house of our Matrona, as if a great stranger there; and now was I doubly -courted, not only by him, but her; so that I permitted him enjoyment, -and he so well pleased me, that at his further earnest importunity I -consented to lie with him all night, where I satisfied him and my self -in all those amorous sweets that two willing Lovers could receive or -give. - -Whilst I was thus occupied at our Matrona’s house, my Bedfellow was not -idle; for she understanding my place would be void, was resolved to have -it supplied, and therefore summoned her Country Gentleman, who very -readily attended her, and for that night was her Bed-fellow. He was so -pleased with her Company in the night, that he desired it the next day -at a frolick at a Tavern. She accordingly attended him, where a -plentiful Dinner was provided, there being four or five Gentlemen, and -two Women besides her self. Dinner being ended, and some quantity of -Wine drank off, they all began to be merry, and therefore a noise of -Fidlers were call’d, and they all fell to singing and dancing, in which -they spent some time; and the other two women being likewise Ladies of -the right stamp, they did by turns leave the rest of the Company, and -retire by Couples into a private Room, where they had the conveniency of -a Bed, and thus they spent most part of the Day. Night drawing on, -reckoning was call’d for; but it being a large one, all the Gentlemen -were dissatisfied, not being willing to pay so dear for their pleasure, -and to have such sour sawce to their sweet meat: the Fidlers being paid, -they resolv’d to put a trick upon the Vintner for his reckoning. The -Fidlers now playing their last Lesson, the Gentlemen one after another -made their several _exits_, leaving the three women to pay the score; -who for some time waited the return of the Gentlemen with money, but in -vain. The Master of the house understanding how he was likely to be -serv’d, came up to the Women, and gave them such a lesson as made them -sing _lachrimæ_: they made many Apologies and excuses, but in vain, mony -or a sufficient pawn he would have before they went. They considering -the necessity of the business, resolved to leave some of their Rings and -such-like Moveables for their enlargement. Agreeing on the manner, they -were now considering the matter, what, & how much should be left, when -two or three men entred the Room, and bluntly asked for the Women, -naming them by their several names. Not only they, but the Master of the -house was of opinion, that they were come with Mony to redeem them; but -their Errand prov’d not so pleasant to the Vintner: for these men -declar’d themselves to be Bayliffs, and their business was to arrest the -three Women at several actions, and to that end produced their Warrant. -The Women were much troubled, and began to exclaim that they owed no -such sums; but the officers who were not to be baffled, told them, they -were their Prisoners, and must along with them. The Vintner now put in, -and demanded satisfaction, and would have the women leave some pawn for -the Reckoning; but the Officers told them, that they had best keep what -they had for occasion for it upon which they might have account of the -Arrest; and for the Reckoning, the Vintner must take his course at Law. -The Vintner for some time opposed the officers, and said he would be -paid first and although a Constable was sent for, yet to no purpose, for -the Warrant being produc’d, they were permitted to march off with their -Prisoners; and a Coach being call’d for they all crowded into it, -ordering the Coachman to drive towards the Gaol. - -The Women used many arguments to the Bayliffs, who now having done their -business, seemed only at the request of the Women, to attend them to a -Tavern, whither the Coachman had orders to drive, and there they were -conducted into a Room, where in stead of Bayliffs, and a Prison, they -had the Company of their day Companions, who now kindly welcom’d them, -and acquainted them of their frollick, and how all this was only -designed to cheat the Vintner of his Reckoning, who had formerly put -tricks upon them. All parties being now well pleased, they spent that -night in the Tavern together, and my companion coming home the next day, -acquainted me with this Story. - ------------------------------------------------------------------------- - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXXVI. - -_In prosecution of her Extravagancies, she comes acquainted with a young - Gentleman, with whom she acts several frolicks, occasioned by seeing - Playes acted._ - - -This, continued Mrs. _Mary_ was my beginning, or entrance into my -publick profession, and indeed, I cannot well call it publick, for I was -private and reserved: not admitting any more servants but this one, in -one moneth; and indeed, in the first half year, I had but three, but -they were so bountiful, that I had wherewithal to satisfie my self in -every thing: having in Jewels, and other presents to the value of -100_l._ Neither had I any thing to pay for diet, or lodging, the charge -of that being always born by our _Matrona_, who I found had gained above -60_l._ in mony, for procuration, and assistance in winning me; besides, -a great deal more mony spent at her house in Collations, & -entertainments for me, which were very frequent and costly. The trade -for Maiden-heads falling, the price being so great, I was now forced to -fight under another Banner, and though I did not pass for a maid; yet I -was accounted in the next degree, for I passed as the Mistress, or Lady -of Pleasure, of a Person of Quality, who kept me as a great rarity for -his own dyet; and indeed I did not much deceive my first customers upon -that account; for whereas I went under the notion of belonging to one -Person, I did belong to but three: and I was forced to play my game -pretty cunningly to please them, and not give them suspition of one -another, for they being all introduced into my acquaintance by our -_Matrona_, or some of her Agents, she did help to manage my affairs; and -when she knew I was to accompany, or lye with one of my sweet hearts, -she would tell the other, if he or they desired the same, that it could -not be for the present, for either, I was waiting on my Uncle, or some -other relation, or otherwise employed, that I must be excused at the -present: but against such a time, she would endeavour to procure me to -accompany them; and this was her tale, or mine; when more then one -importuned me with their visits, and by this means did we both gain the -mony, and I, Rings, Necklaces, Watches and new Gowns, and sometimes some -Gold to spend, or play away; but in time these three growing somewhat -weary, or tyred both in their bodies and purses; but especially in the -last, they by degrees left me, seldom visiting me; and when they did, -they would desire their pleasure on free cost, although I could not be -so ungrateful as to deny them, that which cost me nothing, and which I -had equal pleasure in, yet I saw, it was time to look out for other -better customers; and therefore as I told you, I passed as the Mistress -of a Person of Quallity, and was sent for to our _Madonas_ house, -whether I would pretend, I had stolen out, but durst not stay, least my -amorous Master should return and want me: Several Persons I enjoyed at -this rate, and much ready mony was coming to me; for they with whom I -had to do, understanding I was a professed Lady of Pleasure, knew well -enough that I would not be contented to pleasure them without a reward; -and therefore they gave me money. But now the case was somwhat altred, -and I must now pay for my dyet, for our _Madona_, had, as I told you, a -certain custom, or rule: which she walked by, which was this: that at -the first she paid for dyet and lodging as long as the Maidenhead -customers lasted; for all that time she took the mony, and the Woman the -presents, very little mony coming to their hands; and indeed it was not -by our rules thought honourable or convenient, that a price in money -should be given on that account, to the party herself; but when they -came under the notion of a Lady of Pleasure, and Virginity was gone, -then it was accounted reasonable, and indeed necessary, that the Party -her self should receive mony for her better support, and then she must -be at the cost of her own dyet; and this was my cause: And my Companion -and Bedfellow, who had bin in this condition for some time, and had -passed, as I now did, for a private Lady a Merchants wife, and several -other Titles and qualities, was now grown so common, and her face was so -well known to all our _Madona’s_ better sort of customers, that she -would serve no longer in that degree; but must go a step lower; and go -home to our _Madona’s_ own house, and there serve in common, for all -Gentleman customers that came. Thus as I was removed one step lower then -I was, so was she, and it was not long ere I had a pretty young thing -brought to be my companion: and though her Virginity had bin parted with -above a twelve moneth before, (as she confessed to me) yet she was to -succeed me, in my place, and act the part of a Virgin as I had done. - -I now began to bethink my self of what I had bin, and what more I was to -be, and run through: I found that I was already at the second degree, -and that in short time, I must follow my late companion to the third, -and be enforced to go home to our _Madona’s_ house, and there prostitute -my self to every drunken fellow that brought mony in his hand; to be -flabbered, tumbled and tossed, as he pleased: this I say went against my -stomack, & I was much troubled at it; nay, I saw that some who had bin -in as high a place and degree as my self, were in bad condition enough; -for there was one, who was my late companions bedfellow before I came, -and was at that time called into the house to make room for me, this -woman being very frolick, and withal negligent of our _Madona’s_ -commands: which were to Sweat, Bath, and Purge, and use other remedies, -to drive away all distempers; she I say being negligent, & wanton, and -keeping an open stable for all Horses, gave entertainment to a running -Nag, which so paid her that she was soundly pepper’d, not with a Horse -Pox, but as bad, or a worse disease: which stuck to her so soundly, that -notwithstanding our _Madona’s_ diligence, she was fain to go under the -Surgeons hands. Nay, and those that did Escape this, were in time put to -bad offices, as to attend the rest, and when their money was gone, they -served the Grooms, and Skip-kennels that attended their Masters to our -house. - -These considerations, I say, made me think of a remedy to take in time; -and therefore I was resolved to order my matters so, as never to come -into our _Madona’s_ house but provide for my self before it should come -to that point; and therefore I purposed to accept of the offers of the -next good customer that came, that would take me from the condition I -was in, and to provide for me; for it was a usual thing, that we had -many offers by several persons to take us away; and keep and maintain us -privately. - -I had now every day more variety of servants, then formerly; for now I -had done trafficking for my Maidenhead, I was more free and open, and to -be courted and treated at a cheaper rate; and now I was at my own -dispose, whereas before I was still watched by our _Madona_, or my -Companion, who had it in charge from her, to give an account of all my -actions; and the same charge had I given me over my new-come Bedfellow. -All that was expected from me, was always to be ready at my Lodging, to -come when sent for; but I had this in general, and so had all the rest -of our Companions, not to permit any man to exceed kissing and feeling, -till 3 or 4 Bottles of Wine were first drank. - -These, and many other Maxims we were instructed in, which I shal omit, -and only give you an account of two or three frolicks I was a party in, -whilst I professed this quality, and so conclude. - -Among other Servants, or Sweethearts, that I had, who were my constant -customers, I had one, a young Country Gentleman; who being heir of a -good estate, was brought up to _London_, and placed in one of the Inns -of Court; but instead of studying Law, he applyed himself to a more soft -and effeminate study: the Art of love and courtship: he had read _Ovid’s -Arte amandi_, at home in the Country, and could repeat many lines out of -it; and he had read some other pieces of _Poetry_; but his fancy was not -drawn to the height, till he had not only read some Comedies, but also -seen them acted; and then he was so taken with them, that he spent his -time commonly, every afternoon, in seeing one acted: he being a guest at -our house (being introduced thither by one of our Hectors) and his -pockets being very well lined with crowns, our _Matrona_ thought me a -fit Mistris for him; and he being a handsome young fellow, I willingly -accepted him for my servant: he being as (I told you) well skilled in -_Ovids Art of Love_, would often make use of several of his expressions, -to perswade me to his embraces. - -Though he needed not use these arguments to induce me to permit him to -enjoy me: yet I was well enough pleased to hear his Poetry; and I being -no Novice in the school of love, did withstand him, knowing that the -mind is most eagerly bent on that which is forbidden; and therefore, -like a torrent, it overflows, and becomes more impetuous by opposition; -and I had read so much Poetry as to remember, that, - - _She that is willing to love me; - To her unwilling will I be_ - And, - _Proffer’d pleasures I defy, - Give me her that doth deny_. - -He making use of his Poetry, made me think of mine; and therefore I was -the more coy to him; but still held him in hand, and gave him certain -hopes of an absolute injoyment; This his vayne of Poetry was not only -pleasant to me, but profitable; and he fell into one of the finest -humors that I have heard of; for I attending him to the Play-houses very -frequently, we one day saw a Play called _Philaster_, or _Love lyes a -bleeding_: The Play being done, we went to a Tavern, and there he -highly commended the action, but above all things the womens parts: he -was very much pleased with _Arethusa’s_ constancy and love to -_Philaster_: but that which tickled him most, was _Megera’s_ acceptance -of _Pharamon’s_ Courtship; for though she were a great Court-Lady, yet -she accepted his gold which he presented her, and was so kind as to -attend his pleasure in his lodging. Now said he to me, though I have -tendred you my service, and am willing to make you a present of all I -have, yet I cannot induce you be so kind to me. - -I now, hearing him at this point, was resolved to accept him & his -present, (for, though he had been some days in my company, yet he had -bestow’d nothing considerable upon me) & therefore I told him, that it -was true, the Lady _Megera_ did accommodate Prince _Pharamond_: but he -did first present her with somwhat that was considerable, to induce her -to it; and though I had a very great respect for his love, yet there was -somewhat more then love to be tendred, as he might now very well -understand by this late passage. - -My yonker (who I suppose had never tasted woman, but with his Mothers -Chamber-Maids, or some such Creatures, knew not what belonged to Women -of my profession) being now awakened, as it were, out of a dead sleep; -quickly drew 5 pieces of Gold out of his Pocket, and made a present of -them: You may be sure I was not coy, nor cautious in receiving them; but -quickly put them up; and, for the present, thanks was all I returned, -delaying him in his desires, till we came to our _Madona’s_ quarters; -where we had a plentiful Supper: And I having now acquainted her how I -had dealt with my Young man; it was thought reasonable that he should -have a nights lodging for his Money; neither did I refuse it, but agreed -to all he asked me, and I so well pleased him, that I perswaded him out -of a Diamond Ring worth 5_l._ more. - -I am the more particular in my relation, of my acquaintance with him: -and the means of our closing, by seing a Play, because of the advantages -I gained on him afterwards by the same occasion: for the next day we -again going to see a Play, it happened that it was the _Siege_ of -_Rhodes_, and then he was as much taken with _Roxolana_, as he had -formerly been with _Arethusa_, and highly commended that part: I -perceiving his fancy, told him, that I supposed he would be very glad to -imbrace _Roxolana_ in his Arms; Yes said he, that I would, though it -were at the expence of 20_l._ well said I, give me the money, and I will -so order the matter, that you shall receive that satisfaction; nay said -he, but I doubt you will be offended thereat; no said I, it will be as -much to my content, as yours. He hearing this, without any difficulty, -agreed to give me 20_l._ which was sent me that evening, I told him the -next day, that in one weeks time, he should receive the content he -expected, and to heighten his expectation, I refused to let him lye with -me in the mean time. - -In this weeks time I so ordered the matter, that I got a Taylor, and -other persons who were used to make the habits for the Players, to make -me a habit in all things like to that of _Roxolana_; this being done, I -acquainted my young Gentleman, and told him that for his better -satisfaction, he should see the so famed _Princess_ at our quarters, -where he might have more freedom, then at any other place; he was -herewith very well contented; he habiting himself in the richest garbs -he had, and a large Colation was provided to treat his expected -Mistress; all things being thus fitted on his part; I put on the -provided habit: and instead of his expected _Roxolana_, entred the room -where he was: I was attended by two or three, who bore up my train, and -had set my self out with so many Jewels, both good & counterfeit: and -was indeed in all things so like the _Roxolana_ he had seen, that he -doubted not but I was the very same and was much surprized at the -matter; and although my face was as lovely as hers, yet I had added -somewhat thereto to appear more beautiful. - -Our _Matrona_ seeing him somewhat amazed, went to him, and rouzing him -up, asked him, why he did not salute me; for said she, though her habit -is not _English_, yet you see she is of this Country, and will admit of -the ordinary salutes. He being now quickned up, approached me, and gave -me the ordinary salutations, which I accepted, and at his request I sate -down by him. Well, said our _Matrona_, hath not Mrs. _Mary_ performed -her promise with you. Yes, said he, to admiration: and if before I -desired this Ladies Company at the first view; I am now much more -pleased than I expected; and as I have a very great esteem for this -Lady, and intend to continue it, yet that shall be no prejudice to Mrs. -_Mary_, whose great love and kindness to me in this particular action, I -shall always remember, and largely requite: Well Sir, said I, and what -love you bestow on her shall be very acceptable to me, and I shall -indeavour to retalliat the same. - -My young man had not till now heard me speak, and, though he did, he -could not distinguish me by my voice, so great a difference was there in -my habit, from my ordinary dress, that he did not so much as suspect it, -but, hearing me speak with so much affection for Mistris _Mary_; he -replyed; that since I was so much a friend to her, he was the better -satisfyed in what he had desired; and, he wanted nothing to content him, -so much, as her presence. Well, said our _Matrona_, if that be all, you -may have that satisfaction quickly: nay, and you have it already; for -she is in this Room: He hearing her, looked earnestly about; and though -he gazed much in my face, yet he could not discover me; but my greatest -business being now done, our _Matrona_ could no longer forbear, but fell -into a very great fit of laughter, and so did the rest of the company; -neither did this make him sensible of the matter, till our _Madona_, -taking him by the hand, caused him to take me by mine; and told him, -that if he desired Mistris _Maryes_ company there, he had it; for she -was the same party with that Lady, and had only put on that habit to -give him the content and satisfaction he desired. - -Although at first he could not credit what she said, yet looking again -earnestly upon me, he discovered the matter; and then he said, _Ah -Madam, I did not imagine that you could be guilty of so pleasing a -fallacy; but I am very well satisfied therein, and am now more glad that -you have found out this way to please me, than if I enjoyed the very -party her self_. - -To this I answered, _That I hoped I should as well satisfie his desire -in enjoying that_ Princess _whom I represented, as if he had in his -Company the same person who acted that part at the Theatre; for, said I, -it is only her habit that makes her appear so like a_ Princess; _and I, -being now in the same dress, may as well pass as she; and as for face, -and other parts, I shall not give her any preheminence, neither, I hope, -will you, if you look on me with an impartial eye_. - -My friend was very well satisfyed in what I had done and said, and now -coming more near to me, we fell to our Collation with much freedom. I -was attended by several whom I had appointed to that purpose, and -demeaned my self so Majestically, that as they all told me, I might very -well pass for the very person whom I did represent; and my Gentleman was -so extremely well pleased, that I thought he would have lost his eyes in -gazing at me. Our Collation being ended, I and my attendants danced, and -spent much time in such kind of divertisements; but I saw that my friend -was impatient till bed time came, that he might have me, his beloved -_Princess_, in his arms: we were waited on with all manner of state, and -had Musick attending us, not only all the time we were up, but also when -we were in bed: they being placed in the Chamber adjoyning to our -lodgings, where they played for two hours space after we were retired. - -The strength of imagination was much, for as my bedfellow imagined that -he had a _Princess_ in his arms so I conceited my self to be little -less: great was the pleasure, I received from, and gave to my bedfellow, -for we were both in the flower of our age, he being about twenty, and I -eighteen, we had both equal desires, and thought of nothing but -pleasure: we banished all other passions, to make way for that of love -according to the Poet. - - _Fair_ Venus _never goes to Bed, - To those that are with sorrows fed._ - - ---------------------------------------------------------------- - - - - - CHAP. XXXVII. - -_Her Friend being forced from her by his friends she meeting with one of - her old acquaintance, falls again to trading, till in the end, she - meets with the_ Drugster, _who kept her for his private use._ - - -Although I was well enough pleased with my nights lodging, and so was my -bedfellow; yet, as the longest day, so will the longest night have an -end; and no pleasure is lasting, neither would ours continue, for the -morning being come we were again called up by Musick, but being glutted -with that, we ordered them to retire, and I first arose out of our bed -and going to dress me in my ordinary habit, my bedfellow did forbid it, -and intreated me to give him the satisfaction, and delight, to see me -again in my Turkish dress. He having pleased me so well, I was contented -to pleasure him, in a request that was so indifferent; and therefore -dressed my self accordingly. - -He was so well pleased with me in every thing, that taking me in his -arms, I remember he sighed, and I demanding the reason of that passion, -he told me, it was out of the extremity of the love he bore me: and -which he desired above all things to continue; Indeed I liked him so -well, that I could have been well enough contented to have been his -wife, and have left all the world for him, for he was of so easie a -plyant nature, that I could have wrought him to any thing: and therefore -being desirous to make use of that opportunity, I desired him not to be -melancholy, for all that I could serve him in, I should readily do: he -finding me so free with him, told me if that I would wait the death of -his Mother, he would make me his wife, and in the mean time, would -entertain me, & provide for me wholly as if I were so: but he durst not -marry me till his Mother was dead, she having a great power over his -estate, his Father who was lately dead, so ordering it; and beside, he -was not as yet of Age to demand it. I being desirous to close with him, -(not only out of a desire I had to leave that course of life I then led; -but also out of Pure love I bore him,) soon agreed to be wholly disposed -by him, & desired him therefore to be constant in his affection; and -take some time to consider how to dispose of me, and I should readily -consent to it, for he knew as well as I, that it would not at all be -convenient for me to remain where I was. This was our discourse, and -then we went from our Chamber into another Room, where we were expected -by our _Matrona_, and some others of my companions: the next day we also -spent in frolicking and mirth; but the whole charge of it, was not born -by my friend, for several of our _Matrona’s_ Friends and Clients did -participate in the cost: as well as the mirth, which was very high, and -lasted all the day and night; and then tyred, though not satisfied with -such delights as _Bacchus_ and _Venus_ could afford: we (having imitated -the Empress _Messalina_ in our debauchery; of whom the Poet saith. - - _The Imperial Strumpet, with one maid stole out, - In her night hoods, and having cast about: - Her black hair, a red Perriwig she got, - Into the stewes---- - There many thirsted for encounters tryed - Departed tyr’d with men, not satisfied._ - -This frolick being at an end, I and my friend began to be serious, and -in short time after he provided me a private lodging, and I making up my -pack of cloths, Jewels and Mony which I had gained, and which was -considerable, left our _Madona_ and now retired my self, and resolved to -be very honest, and absolutely constant to my friend: who continued his -love to me in a very great measure. - -But at length all the moneys that he brought to Town with him, and all -else that he could get or procure, was spent; (for he had not spared any -thing I desired to content me,) and which was worse, his Mother came to -Town to visit him, and upon examination he could give little account, -how he had spent his time and monyes; wherefore it being concluded that -ill company was the cause, his Mother laid out very diligently to -discover what company he kept: though he abstained from coming so often -to me, as formerly, Yet, he either sent, or came to me every day: that -he might not be absolutly out of favor with his Mother, I furnished him -with what ready mony I had, and he in requital, promised me a -continuance of his love, & a retalliation of my kindness, & which was -more then all, he engaged to marry me (notwithstanding all the -oppositions his mother or friends could make,) if I would stay till he -was of age, and had his estate in his hands; I had this promise from -him, not only by word of mouth, but also by writing; but all these -promises were quickly vacuated and void; for his mother, by her -extraordinary diligence found out his haunts, and discovered his coming -to me; and followed the tract of my actions, and life; that she found -from whence I came, and who I was; and then soon concluded, that I had -been the chief occasion of his mispending his time, and moneys; and now -she mustred up all her wits, to prevent his ruine: which she supposed -would be inevitable, if he continued any longer a correspondency with -me. - -To this end she called her Son before her, and examined him in the -presence of all those of his Relations and friends which were then in -Town. She laid the business so plain, and home to him, that he could not -deny the matter, somewhat of the manner he did; for whereas she reported -me an absolute _Prostitute_, he alleged me _virtuous_ and _modest_, as -indeed well he might (for I had, ere since my first acquaintance with -him, been constant to him) but it being proved from whence I came, and -how immodest I had lived, it was sufficient argument to make out what I -was, and that I could not be a fit Wife for him: She was a very discreet -Woman, and one who had known the World, and I suppose was well enough -acquainted with that saying of the _Poet_. - - If Modesty and Women once do sever, - Farewel their name, farewel their fame for ever. - -And therefore it being evident enough what I had been, she from thence -concluded what I would be: In fine, she so scooled her son, and ordered -the matter, that he was contented to relinquish my company; and because, -she would be sure he should doe so, she never left, till she had got him -in the mind to travel: and so putting him in an equipage befitting his -quality, she sent him for _France_. - -Thus, when I thought my self near the greatest happiness I ever yet -arrived to: (which I earnestly hoped, and expected, by being married to -this young Gentleman) was I stripped of all joy, and comfort, in his -suddain and absolute departure from me; his Mother, and Friends, were so -strict with him, that they would not permit him, to take his farewel of -me; I only received a short letter from him, wherein, he complained of -his ill fortune, in being thus forced from me: but more especially at -the manner of it; for he had not the opportunity, nor power to be civil -to me, in reimbursing me, with the moneys I had lately furnished him -with; for his Mother gave him no more ready moneys, then he should have -present occasion for; promising him, to supply him with more by Bills of -Exchange, when he should arrive at the place he was designed for; and -then he promised that I should hear further from him. - -This was the substance of his letter; and indeed I could not well -complain of him; for what moneys he had lately received of me had -formerly been his own; but I was now reduced to a very bad, and low -condition: having no ready money, so that I was forced to sell some of -my Jewels; and for a while supplyed my occasions, with the moneys they -yielded me; I living a very solitary, and retired life; and all my -pleasure was in reading Playes, and Romances: in which I spent much -time, and took great delight; I waited long in expectation of letters -from my friend, according to his promise; but whether he sent, and they -were intercepted, or how: or whether he forgot me, or no, I know not; -for I never after that heard of him. - -Being somewhat weary with this solitary life; and finding no effects, of -my friends promise to send to me; I began to consider, what course I was -to take; I was very unwilling to visit my old _Matrona_ again; but one -day, walking out, I was met by one of my old sweethearts: one of those -whom I had known in her house; but I saw by his habit, and afterwards by -the strength of his Pocket, that he was but in a low condition, and was -more ready to receive, than give; he fastned on me for old acquaintance -sake, I was forced to drink with him; but he ingeniously told me, that -_Hector_ was not in Field, he had no money in his Pocket; wherefore I -(though money was not very flush with me, as having had a long time of -vacation:) not only paid our reckoning: but at his intreaty, doubly -hors’d him, by lending him, (or I may rather say giving him) two half -crowns. - -This put him in stock and heart, and he gratefully acknowledged my -civility, telling me he would requite it, and talking of thousands he -was to receive. He was very earnest to know my Lodging, but I concealed -that place from him, and, as I thought, parted from him warily enough, -and went many ways about before I went home; but he dog’d me, and seeing -me hous’d, waited, lest that might not be the place; but after a -sufficient stay he was better satisfied; for I came no more out, and so -he went to his Quarters. - -This my old acquaintance, as he had formerly been bit, and had others -lived upon him, so now he only lived upon others; and though it was not -above a twelve month since he was very gallant, and spent very highly -with me, yet he had made hast and consumed above 3000_l._ he was young -enough, and as wanton and desirous as ever of my Company; but he knew -very well I would not consent, unless there were money in the case; he -being destitute of that necessary commodity, therefore sought out for -one who was better supply’d with it; he needed not to look long, neither -did he, till he found one, who was now, as not long since he had been, -better stor’d with mony than wit, and as desirous of pleasure, being -willing to purchase it at any rate; him he tells of a rare purchase, a -Lady whom he had the happiness, to be acquainted with, that was rarely -handsome, of an excellent good nature, and he questioned not but she -might be flexible. The monyed Gallant did not ask many questions, but -desired by all means to see this celebrated beauty; for he doubted not -but she must needs be handsom, whom the other so cried up for beautiful. -My old acquaintance was as willing as he to attend him to this Lady, -which was my self; and therefore to me they came, and believing that -Confidence was the best way of speaking with me; he boldly asked to see -and speak with me; pretending great business, not so much as questioning -whither I lived there or no. The people of the house believing him one -of my intimate acquaintance, directly brought him and his friend up into -my Chamber. - -I was somewhat surpriz’d at the sight of him; but after the first -salutes he took me to one side, and privately told me all his design; -and that this party whom he had brought, was a very well-money’d man, & -much might be squeez’d out of him. Although I was not yet resolved to -fall to my old trade, yet now he was come, I knew not how to put him -off, wherefore I indifferently entertained, and I may very well say -indifferently: because, I was yet cold in my desires, and had very -little appetite, however some bottles of Wine being sent for, we drank -them off: and my young Gentleman being warm in his gears, began to talk -a little boldly, but it was to no purpose, for I forbid all actions, and -at that time he only purchased a kiss, but (that I may draw to a period -to my discourse,) I did not long continue so cold to him, for he -bringing meat in his mouth, good store of Gold in his pocket, which he -willingly and freely gave me, I permitted him to take all the pleasure -he could receive by me. - -Thus did I renue my old trade, and my old friend, who had brought this -new acquaintance, finding some benefit and profit in the case; for he -had money of his acquaintance, whom he had brought, as also of me, -neither could I at convenient times, deny him the pleasure he had -formerly tasted with me; he, I say, having both pleasure and profit, -turned Broaker for me, and brought me several Merchants, who traffiqued -with me for pleasure: which I commonly afforded them a good pennyworth, -though sometimes a dear one, for I would not deal with every ordinary -fellow, and therefore was paid the better, by those who were my -customers. - -But let me do what I could, I saved little or nothing at the months end, -(years I will not say, because I was weary of this trade in six months -time:) for I now had not only my self, but this my old acquaintance, -tance and new Broker to provide for; For he finding that most of my -profit, came in by those he brought me, would be very bold in demanding -a share with me: and his expences were so high, which he pretended, was -only to bring me of the better sort of customers, that I was now poorer -then ever, and he now became so impudent, that he would not only command -my money, but my Rings, and other Jewels, which he would sell or pawn as -he listed; and indeed it is the fortune, or misfortune, of all those of -our Quality, to be troubled with some such fellows, hangers on as these, -or else we should or might in little time gain sufficient estates; but -as I say commonly, what we got one way, these followers spend the other, -so that at length all that we are likely to purchase, if we have not a -great care, is only a disease, which may stick long enough by us. I -being fearful of this, for my Friend or Hector, I may call him both, was -now grown so intemperate, that he kept all companies: and if I refused -him money, or a nights lodging, he would go to any other common woman, -the first he met withal, and so afterwards comming to me, I might be -spoiled; to prevent this, I privately left my lodging, and hearing of -two of my own sex, and quality, that were going a progress into the -Country, to take a frollick, I made the third, and had a man as well as -they to attend me; and as I expected, to bear my charges; but we all -reckoned without our host, for we were basely trappand, by those who -went with us, and left in pawn for a reckoning that was considerable; we -were in a strange place, many miles from _London_, and much distressed, -but at length a resolution was taken, that one of us should go to -_London_, and fetch money to redeem the rest, it fell to the lot of one -of my companions, who being on her Journey, had the good luck to meet -with honest _Gregory_, our now companion, and he very liberally relieved -us, by sending mony to us, whereby we had the freedom to come to our -companion, and him, who attended us. She being come to this part of her -Relation, I told her, that I heard it already by _Gregory_, who among -other passages of his life, acquainted me with that. - -Well then replyed she, if you know that account, I have little more to -acquaint you with, for not long after my arrival in _London_, I -fortunately met with my honest friend the _Drugster_, and he liking me -for a Mistress, and I him for a servant or Master which you please, -agreed to obey his pleasures, he providing for me, which he hath -hitherto done in a very plentiful manner: and I on the other side, have -bin as constant and obedient to him. - - - - - CHAP. XXXVIII. - -_Mistress_ Mary _having finished, Mistress_ Dorothy _begins her story, - wherein she relates, that having left her friends in the Country, she - comes to_ London, _and entring to service, lyes with 3 several men, by - whom she was got with Child, and so orders the matter, that all 3 pay - well for it._ - - -I had given very great attention to Mrs. _Maries_ story, and Mrs. -_Dorothy_ (who, with me, had been the only Auditor) told her, that she -had received a great deal of satisfaction; for, said she, though I have -formerly heard many of your particular actions, yet I never received a -perfect account till now. Nay, said Mrs. _Mary_, this account is far -from being perfect, and is only such passages as I could at present call -to mind; but indeed they are the most remarkable, and by them you may -guess at the rest. - -I was very well pleased with what I had heard, and being likewise -desirous to be acquainted with the adventures of Mrs. _Dorothy_ -requested her to relate them to me, which she did as followeth. - -Old friend (said she to me) you have great occasion to love and respect -me, for the great love I have born to you, and your memory; for after -your departure from my Fathers house, I was very much afflicted for your -absence, and I did believe that you intended marriage to me, as you -protested; and though my Father and Mother had often doubted of the -reallity of your intentions, especially, after you had so unworthily -left me, yet I still perswaded them that you would return. You know well -enough, that my Father was not ignorant of our privacy, he having -surprized us in the manner, and you then promised to make me amends by -marriage; but all the satisfaction I received was a Copy of Verses, and -20 pieces of Gold: In the one you expressed your Wit, in the other your -Generosity, for I very well knew that you might have omitted both, and -not have sent either; but I suppose, you were more skilful than I, and -knew that I was with Child by you, and therefore sent that mony to -defray the charge I should be at on that occasion. This piece of -civility of yours did put me into good hopes, that you would return; and -I accordingly perswaded my Father, and Mother; but time convinced me of -my error: and also made it more apparent that I had been sporting with -you; for my Belly swelled so, that my Mother soon resolved me that I was -with Child by you. - -I was very melancholly upon this occasion, but my Mother indeavoured to -comfort me (for I being her only Child) she had a great deal of love for -me; and knowing what was pass’d could not be helped, she took order to -conceal and keep the knowledge of my misfortune from being publiquely -known and discoursed of; Wherefore I, at her desire and directions, kept -within doors, pretending a sickness, which indeed was not wholly -counterfeit, in regard I much grieved for your absence. In this -condition I spent my time, till the time of my deliverance from -Childbearing came, and then I was brought to bed of a Boy, which was no -sooner born, but it was taken and carried from me, to a Town three miles -off, to be nursed by a woman, whom my Mother had for that purpose -provided; and this was done to conceal the shame that I should or might -sustain, if it were known that I had a Child, without knowing who, or at -least, where was the Father. - -So soon as a Month was expired, I went to see the Child, the sight of -which put me too much in mind of the Father; and I was then again -sensibly afflicted, at his absence; methoughts in that infancy there was -so much resemblance of my beloved deceiver, that I kiss’d the Infant not -only for its own, but for the Fathers sake. I then returned home agen, -and now after so long a time of retirement, I began to recover, not only -my strength, but some additions to my beauty; so that I having had 2 or -3 Suitors, when a Maid, who had forborn visiting me by occasion of my -ilness, they now agen renew their suits; but if I had some dislike for -them before, now I could not endure them in my company, they were such -absolute Hobbinolls. Though I was not satisfied in their frequent -visits, yet my Father and Mother press’d me, not only to accept them, -but also their suit, and make choice of one of them for a husband, -alleging, that you would never return; and it would be not only safe but -necessary, in time to bestow my self. This discourse did much disturb -me, and I was so often troubled with my suiters, and disturbed and vexed -by my Father and Mothers importunity, that I resolved to quit both, by -leaving them, and therefore purposed to go to _London_, that I might not -be troubled with the importunity of my Father and Mother; nor the -troublesome visits of my sweethearts. - -In persuance of this resolve, I fitted my self with all necessaries; and -that I might not wholly distract my Parents by my thus leaving them, I -writ a Letter of excuse, & left it for them; & so walking to the next -great Town, attending the coming by of the Passage Coach, and in that -got me a place to ride to _London_. - -I continued for some time in the Inne where the Coachman set me down, -and the rest of his Passengers; but knowing it would be impossible for -me to continue long there, I gained acquaintance with the Maid of the -house, and told my tale to her as well as I thought convenient. She -understanding that I was willing to serve, and wanted a place; and I -acquainting her with my abilities, as that I could sew, wash, and -starch, and do most necessary things required of a servant, She soon -procured me a Place in a house that entertained many Lodgers. I spent a -quarter of a years time very privately and honestly in this service; but -then our house being full of Lodgers, one of them cast a wanton eye on -me, and being well pleased with my face, began to court me very -familiarly; although at first I opposed him, and gave him nothing but -slights and denials, yet he so managed his business by Presents which he -gave me, and making use of all other opportunities that he gained his -will of me, and I again entred the Lists in a loving Combate. He took -many opportunities for enjoyment, not only in the day time, but -sometimes we spent whole nights in our amorous sports; and though my Mr. -and Mrs. did not discover any thing of the matter, yet another -Gentleman, who was also a Lodger, and lay in the next Chamber to my -friends, watching me, found out my haunt; and therefore he (being as -amorous as the other) was desirous of sport, became a Suiter to me upon -the same account. I absolutely denied him, for I thought it was enough -to have to do with one man, and was resolved to venture my self no -further; but he taking the opportunity of the others absence, first -treated me with Wine, then presented me with a Ring; but all this would -not do, till he in plain terms told me, that he knew very well I was not -so hard-hearted to every one; for were Mr. such a one, naming my friend, -there, I would not deny him the curtesie: I at first made strange of -this story, and deny’d it, but he falling into plain terms with me, and -telling me that he had watched me such a night, when I lay with him, I -could not then deny it, neither did I long deny or refuse him what he -desired; so that he likewise took his pleasure with me; and having -obtained his desire at that time, he made bold with me so often as he -listed, when the other was out of the way. - -I had now two Bedfellows, so that I could seldom lie alone, one of them -would still bespeak me; but the first of them did not know of the 2d. -though he knew very well of the other: Though I had sport enough with -these two, yet it was not long ere a third man likewise put in for a -share with them, and that was my Masters brother; he was a very pretty -young man, and one whom I could well enough love for a Husband; but he -looked a little higher than to marry a Servant-maid: but as a Mistress -he courted me. Many attempts he made in vain; but time that bringeth -every thing to pass, made me flexible, and I likewise gave him -possession of the thing he desired: he took much pleasure in my company, -and very respectful to me, often presenting me with Linnen and Laces, -and sometimes a Crown or an Angel came from his Pocket, as well as from -the other two, who well fed me with mony, which I still pocketed up: but -as I got mony, so again I got somewhat else, a great Belly, and which -was the worst of my three friends, I knew not which was the Father; but -if I am not mistaken, I believe it was my Masters Brother. - -But I was resolved the other two should help to Father it, or else pay -for it; and therefore I soon told them all three, as they had occasion -to deal with me, in what condition I was. My first and oldest friend was -most troubled at it, being as he thought the most concerned, because he -knew not of any else that had to do with me; he was somewhat startled at -it, lest, as he said, his wife should come to know it; for, he was a -married man: and although his wife sometimes came to Town, and would lie -with him; yet he would sometimes before he went to bed to her, take his -opportunity to have his pleasure with me; He, I say was troubled at the -news: but that did not hinder us, in our purposed nights lodging, only -in the intervals we considered what course to take; at length it was -resolved, that he would provide for me, the time of my lying Inn, and -afterwards for the child; and in earnest of the charge, he soon gave me -20_l._ to provide me with necessaryes. I having now done with my first -customer, was resolved to get something out of my 2d: but he still gave -me the hearing, presuming on his knowledge of my having to do with the -first; yet, he would not on this occasion, advance any thing, intending -to shirk off, because no body knew what trade we did drive together. - -I perceiving his intention; was resolved to be even with him, and it may -be out-wit him; and that he might not distrust me, I seemed no ways -dissatisfied, but gave him as much freedom with me, as ever; but to -carry on my design, I thought good to break the business to my Masters -Brother; wherefore, I likewise acquainted him with my condition, and -told him in plain terms, that I was with child by him; He could not deny -the fact, nor make any excuse; not knowing of my dealings with the other -two; But he was likewise very much surprized; But I doubting, he might -put me off; I took the opportunity of telling him this news, when we -were in bed together, knowing there I should have time, and conveniency -to discourse it. - -He knew not what to say, and indeed was very cold with me; and I was -forced to help him out, for he was then a Suiter to a young Gentlewoman, -and was fearful that this business would hinder his fortunes; and though -he loved me well enough, yet he was unwilling to marry me: for that -would prove so disadvantagious to him: he supposing that nothing but -marriage would content me, was much troubled, and could not tell what -answer to give me: wherefore I was forced to break silence, and told -him, that as I loved him, so I would shew him sufficient proofs of it; -for I would not that my love should ruine him, as I knew it would, if -the world should know what had passed between us; and though nothing -could satisfie me but marriage; yet I could be content to wave that, and -propose somewhat else of satisfaction; nay then, said he, if you will be -so kind to me, propose your own terms, and take them; I hearing him thus -generous, it was not long ere we concluded upon terms; which were these, -that he would give me 20_l._ down to bear my charges in the time of my -Lying-in, and if the child lived, he would give 50_l._ more to any -person whom I would appoint to take the child, and provide for it; these -terms I was well enough satisfied with, only I considering that he would -hear of my lying with the other, because I intended to discover that to -him, and have his assistance therein, and then I doubted he would -suspect me, and it may be refuse to pay the 50_l._ when due; therefore I -was resolved to have him seal a Bond to me, for payment of it: and I -urged him to do it out of this consideration, that he was to be married: -and though he now loved me well-enough, yet when he had a Wife, he would -happily slight and forget me, and so refuse or neglect to pay it. He was -content to hear my arguments: and though alwayes protesting a -continuance of his love to me, notwithstanding all the Wives in the -World; yet he consented to give me Bond according to my desire. - -Thus every thing being agreed on, we again renewed our pleasures, and -spent that night, as we had done many before. But morning being come, I -arose, and so managed my affairs, that I that day had a Bond Sealed to -me for payment of 50_l._ to be paid in 6 months; I also within few dayes -received of him the 20_l._ he had promised me. - -Thus did I order my matters with my first and last Customers, and I gave -them their wonted satisfaction of Lying with me so often as they -pleased; and so I did to the other my middle Customer; but do what I -could, I could not bring him to any considerable Composition; and though -he were the best able, yet he offered me the least, and intended to come -off with a trifle; however I gave him his wonted freedom with me, but -purposed ere long to be even with him, as I was. - -For one night being in bed with my Masters Brother; I having very well -pleased him, he talked of his little _Hans in Kelder_, the Boy in my -belly, wishing very well to it, not in the least doubting but it was of -his own begetting, and using many words to that purpose: well Sir, said -I, it is very true, it is yours, but if I would have been as free with -others, as I have been with you, it might have had more, if not another -Father; and thereupon I proceeded, and told him how that I had been -often importuned by Mr. such a one, his Brothers Lodger, and my 2d. -Bedfellow. Well replyed he, I am the more beholding to you, that you -have accepted of me rather than him; but though I am not at all -dis-satisfied in what I have done, I wish he had been the Father, for -your sake as well as mine, for you may compel him to marriage, or else -get a considerable sum of money from him. As for marriage, said I, I -doubt I should hardly draw him to it, but some monies I might get of -him, and would yet, if you will but consent to it, and assist me -therein. To this he answered, that in any thing I should desire, he -would not be wanting, and therefore he bid me propound the way, and he -would not fail in his assistance: I then told him, that I knew but one -way to do it, and in that I must play the disloyal wag with him, to do -that which I had no mind: for that matter, said he, you shall have my -consent, and I think I guess at your meaning, which is, that you must -agree to let him ly with you; wherefore since it will be so advantagious -to you, let him do it; for I am sure he can do me no great wrong, for -notwithstanding what he can do, the Child will be all mine, of my own -getting. - -He being so free to it, and agreeing to all things according to my -desire, we resolved that I should permit my second Sweetheart to ly with -me; but I should so order the matter, that he should take us in the -manner, and then we would agree to act the rest very well. I now having -laid my plot very well, and orderly, I appointed my time when I would ly -with him and agreed to leave the Chamber door open, that he, rising -early the next morning, might (pretending some business) enter the -Chamber, and find us in Bed together. Our plot being thus laid, and my -2_d._ Sweetheart desiring it, I promised to come to bed to him about -midnight, which I did; but my Masters brother knowing of my design, was -resolved to have the first carving of me, and that he should only have a -butter’d Bun; and therefore caused me to ly with him all the former part -of the night; but midnight being past, he permitted me to proceed in my -adventure. I was expected by my Bedfellow, and accordingly entertained; -but I minding the design I was about, awaked early in the morning, and -so ordered the matter, that my Bedfellow likewise threw off his -drowsiness to encounter with me in our nocturnal pastime, which when he -had done, I began to discourse him, reasoning the cause with him, and -desiring him to resolve me what he would do for me in that condition I -was, and what provision he would make for me. He gave me indifferent -answers, and I grew passionate with him, and on a sudden the Chamber -door opened, and my Masters Brother entred the room. I seeing this, left -off speaking and crouded my self close down into the bed, as if -pretending to hide my self; but he coming boldly on, bid my Bedfellow -Good morrow, and asking him a question, came nearer the Bed side, and -drawing the Curtains, said, what have you a Bedfellow? No said he, not -I; surely said the other you have, for I am mistaken if I did not hear -some other tongue than yours; the other deny’d it, but he knowing well -enough what he had to do, soon found out where my Petticoats lay: _How_, -said he, _surely you have a Bedfellow, and that a female one_; the other -being thus surprized, knew not what to say: Wherefore my Mr. Brother -proceeding, said, _surely I should know these Coats, for, if I am not -mistaken, they are our Maid_ Dorothys. I finding my self discovered, now -appeared, and in the first place beg’d his pardon, and _that he would -not acquaint my Mr. and Mrs. with it_. He seeming very angry soundly -rated me and my Bedfellow, and said he, _this is not the first time that -you two have lain together, for I have long suspected you, and have -watched you_. _Truly Sir_, said I, _it is true this Gentleman hath long -known me, but I pray you make no more words of it at present, and for -modesties sake leave the Chamber, and I will anon satisfie you further -in every particular._ My Bedfellow likewise requesting the same, he very -civilly left us, shutting the Chamber door after him. My Bedfellow was -much surprized at this sudden accident, and I seemed to be so; and -quickly getting my cloaths, arose and left him, retiring into my own -Chamber, leaving him to consider it. - -I having now done my business, by having a witness of my lying with him, -was bold with him, to know what I should do in the case; _for_ said I, -_my Masters Brother will certainly acquaint my Mr. and Mrs. with our -actions, and then I must leave the house, and whither to go, I know not, -nor who will entertain me_. He argued that the other, my first -Sweetheart, must provide for me; to this I told him, _that I believed, -that he would do somewhat for me, but he had a Wife, and could not do -what he listed, whereas he on the contrary was a single man, and rich -enough_; and he still endeavouring to put me off, and lay all upon the -first; I in plain terms told him, _that if he continued to say so, I -would wholly deny my dealings with the other, and though he should -avouch it, yet he would not be believed, he being himself a party -guilty, as could be proved by my Masters Brother; and therefore it would -be judged by all, that he, and he alone, was the Father of the Child, -and would be forced to marry me, or at least provide for me and the -Child_. I having told him my resolution, left him to consider of it, and -then my Masters Brother came to him, and he and I together so ordered -the matter, that he gave me 20_l._ down, and gave me bond to pay 50_l._ -more at the Birth of the Child. This, said Mrs. _Dorothy_, was the first -of my adventures. - -_And this shall be the last I shall relate to you in this part, -referring the prosecution of hers, and others adventures, to a third -part._ - - _FINIS._ - - - - - * * * * * * - - - - -Transcriber’s note: - -Every attention was paid to retaining the spelling and punctuation of -the original, with a few exceptions, noted below. - -On occasion, obvious printer’s errors have been modified; e.g. the -repetition of words or syllables at line breaks. - -The spelling has been left intact, except where there are obvious -printer’s errors, or where a more conventional spelling is employed in -every other instance. Minor inconsistencies in punctuation have also -been corrected, without further mention. - -The cover image has been fabricated and is placed in the public domain. - -On p. 223, the Latin quotation from Petronius includes the name -‘Aerisium’, which, in the following translation is given as ‘Acresius’. -The entire passage from ‘It can make knees bow...’, including the -citation from Petronius, seems to have been cribbed from Owen Feltham’s -_Resolves: divine, morall and politicall_, where ‘Acrisium’ appears. -Feltham died the year our volume was published, and his _Resolves_ was a -very popular in the day and continued to be republished into the 19th -century. - -The following table summarizes the issues encountered, and their -resolution: - - p. x inclina[na]tion Removed. - - p. 10 they found the contrary to [to] their cost Removed, line - break - repetition. - - p. 33 of such as [as] should live Removed. - - p. 38 Dicision _sic._ - ‘Division’ - - p. 42 Water to Wat[a/e]r, Corrected. - - p. 57 transpla[n]ted Added. - - p. 73 conclude wi[l/t]h the Poet Corrected. - - p. 130 socie[t/i]y Corrected. - - p. 131 set [own by and] ancient _Patrico_ _sic._ ‘down by - an’ - - p. 204 this Mys[s]tery Corrected, line - break - repetition. - - p. 214 them as[ ]soon Added. - - p. 223 A[c/e]risium Corrected. - - p. 365 acquaintance, [tance] Removed, line - break - confusion. - - p. 376 I [I] seeing this Removed, line - break - repetition - - - -***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ENGLISH ROGUE: CONTINUED IN THE -LIFE OF MERITON LATROON, AND OTHER EXTRAVAGANTS*** - - -******* This file should be named 50949-0.txt or 50949-0.zip ******* - - -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: -http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/0/9/4/50949 - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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- margin-left: auto; - margin-right: auto; - height: 4px; - border-width: 4px 0 0 0; /* remove all borders except the top one */ - border-style: solid; - border-color: #000000; - clear: both; } - </style> -</head> -<body> -<h1 class="pg">The Project Gutenberg eBook, The English Rogue: Continued in the Life of -Meriton Latroon, and Other Extravagants, by Richard Head and Francis -Kirkman</h1> -<p>This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States -and most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no -restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it -under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this -eBook or online at <a -href="http://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you are not -located in the United States, you'll have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this ebook.</p> -<p>Title: The English Rogue: Continued in the Life of Meriton Latroon, and Other Extravagants</p> -<p> The Second Part</p> -<p>Author: Richard Head and Francis Kirkman</p> -<p>Release Date: January 17, 2016 [eBook #50949]</p> -<p>Language: English</p> -<p>Character set encoding: UTF-8</p> -<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ENGLISH ROGUE: CONTINUED IN THE LIFE OF MERITON LATROON, AND OTHER EXTRAVAGANTS***</p> -<p> </p> -<h4 class="nf-center">E-text prepared by KD Weeks, Chris Curnow,<br /> - and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> - (<a href="http://www.pgdp.net">http://www.pgdp.net</a>)<br /> - from page images generously made available by<br /> - Internet Archive<br /> - (<a href="https://archive.org">https://archive.org</a>)</h4> -<p> </p> -<table border="0" style="background-color: #ccccff;margin: 0 auto;" cellpadding="10"> - <tr> - <td valign="top"> - Note: - </td> - <td> - Images of the original pages are available through - Internet Archive. See - <a href="https://archive.org/details/englishroguedesc02headiala"> - https://archive.org/details/englishroguedesc02headiala</a> - </td> - </tr> -</table> -<p> </p> -<div class='tnotes'> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div><span class='large'>Transcriber’s Note</span></div> - </div> -</div> -<p class='c000'>The text as printed employed the long ‘s’ (‘ſ’), which has been -rendered here as a modern ‘s’.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Please see the transcriber’s <a href='#endnote'>note</a> at the end of this -text for details regarding the handling of any textual issues -encountered during its preparation.</p> - -<div class='epubonly'> - -<p class='c000'>The cover image has been fabricated and is placed in the public domain.</p> - -</div> - -</div> -<p> </p> -<hr class="full" /> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<p> </p> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div>THE</div> - <div><span class='xlarge'>English Rogue:</span></div> - <div>CONTINUED</div> - <div>IN THE</div> - <div><span class='xlarge'><em class='gesperrt'>LIFE</em></span></div> - <div>OF</div> - <div><em>MERITON LATROON</em>,</div> - <div>And other Extravagants.</div> - <div class='c001'>COMPREHENDING THE</div> - <div class='c001'><span class='large'>MOST EMINENT CHEATS</span></div> - <div class='c001'>OF</div> - <div><em>Most Trades and Professions</em>.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='small'>Read, <em>but do'nt</em> Practice: <em>for the Author findes</em>,</span></div> - <div class='line'><span class='small'><em>They which live Honest have most quiet mindes</em>.</span></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div>The Second Part.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div>Licensed <em>Feb. 22. 1668</em>.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div><em>London</em>, Printed for <em>Francis Kirkman</em>, and are to be</div> - <div>sold at his Shop over against the Custome-House,</div> - <div>in <em>Thames-Street</em>, 1671.</div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_i'>i</span> - <h2 class='c004'>The Epistle <br /> <span class='xlarge'>DEDICATORY</span> <br /> TO THE <br /> BOOK-SELLERS <br />OF <br /><span class='xlarge'>LONDON.</span></h2> -</div> - -<p class='c005'>Gentlemen,</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>It hath been one of the greatest Errors in -most Authors to think by their high Dedications -to advance their Books, when as on -the contrary, I have known some of the better -sort of Books (though Dedicated to Worshipful, -Honorable, Illustrious, and Reverend -Patrons; nay and sometimes to Majesty -it self) instead of being preferred in Book-sellers -shops (and according to their merit -bound in Turky or Murrey Leather gilt, and -richly adorned) only to be found in loose -<span class='pageno' id='Page_ii'>ii</span>sheets at Cooks and Tobacco-shops, disposed -under greasie Pies, to stop Mustard-pots, and -to wrap up Mundungoes Tobacco, or at best -(after more cost than was intended by the -Author in damasking and figuring it) used -in Truncks and Hat-cases: and all this hath -happened because there was not a fit choice of -a power full Book-seller, which out of profit -and interest might prefer and advance the -same.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Now that I might not run into the same -Error, and have the like misfortune, being -very well acquainted how much prejudice or -profit I may receive in your stifling and -slighting, or preferring and advancing this -Piece, and I (being desirous that it should sell, -for to that end in part was it written and -Printed) therefore make choice of you for my -Patrons and Protectors.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Gentlemen, I hope what hath been particularly -written in this Book of your Trade, -will not be offensive to you in general, neither -that any particular Person will be offended, -unless such as are guilty; and for their sakes -it was written, that they may see their vicious -enormities, and amend them.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Though all these misdemeanors are charged -upon the score of one man, as being acted -by one; yet i’le assure you I know not any one -person guilty of all, though it is possible that -<span class='pageno' id='Page_iii'>iii</span>they are all true, or else our</em> Extravagant -<em>(who recounts his story) gives misinformation: -and I for my own part have so much -Charity to believe, that there are several of -your Trade honest-men, and not at all guilty -of any thing here Charged on our</em> Extravagants -<em>Master: To those I suppose, I rather -do a kindness than a prejudice in unfolding -the Mysterious Knaveries of the Trade, and -in requital I hope they will be my Protectors, -in preferring this Piece, not only to their Customers -in</em> London, <em>but to their Chapmen in -the Countrey, and thereby save me the trouble -of it: And as for those who being conscious -of their own guilt, are offended with -what is here written, and out of revenge will -refuse to protect or sell this Piece, I am well -enough satisfied, and by their refusal or slighting, -both I and the Book-buyer shall by their -anger conclude their guilt.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'><em>And Gentlemen, it is very well known to -you, that the first part of this book hath (notwithstanding -many oppositions) done its business, -being generally liked and approved of; -and I am told (by the ingenious) that this -will not come short of the former in pleasure, -and exceed it in profit: and therefore I doubt -not of the sale, and I hope it will be so far -from staining your Reputations, that on the -contrary, you may reap credit; besides, as you -<span class='pageno' id='Page_iv'>iv</span>may gain credit, so you will have profit by the -sale, and that I know will be a very great inducement -to you.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'><em>For both which causes I hope you will not -refuse me your assistance, which I know may -be powerful; and I shall for the future discourse -your civilities, and at present subscribe -myself</em></p> - -<div class='c006'>Your friend and Servant,</div> -<div class='c007'><em>Fra. Kirkman</em>.</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_v'>v</span> -<img src='images/i_b_060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c004'><em>The Preface to the Reader.</em></h2> -</div> - -<p class='c008'><span class='large'><em>GENTLEMEN</em>,</span></p> - -<p class='c000'>The First Part of this Book being so generally -well received, I was induced to procure -it to be prosecuted in a second; and to -that end I often solicited the Author to proceed -according to his promise; but he was deterred -for several reasons, the most prevalent whereof he -told me was this, That he had reaped a great deal -of ignominy by writing of that; for many people -were so ignorant, as to believe that it was a true -and exact account of the Authors life; especially -after they had upon acquaintance or inquiry -found that he was indeed guilty of some petty -waggeries which are therein recited; and therefore -concluding him guilty of the whole, lookt -on him as a dangerous person, and shunned and -avoided his company, lest they should be damaged -thereby, or at leastwise scandalized; -others gazing on him at a distance with the eyes -of wonder.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now let me tell you that though I was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_vi'>vi</span>wholly a stranger to the Author, when he writ -that Book, yet I have been since so well acquainted -with him, that I can directly clear him -from the guilt of most of those enormities contained -therein. For in the first place, it is sufficiently -known to me, and many persons more, -that he was never upon the Padd: for I am -confident he was never guilty of so base a valour, -as either to Rob a house, or bid a man stand on -the Road. Next as to the Cheats, especially -those in Gaming; though he professes so much -knowledge therein, in his Book; yet I am sure -of this, (let him be never so well acquainted in -the Theory) that he is ignorant in the practical -part thereof, having been the cheated, not the -Cheater, of a good round sum of mony, which -he lost at Dice in my presence, and to my prejudice; -and I believe, that although (what he -did write in the first part of the Book, <em>Chapter</em> -25. about his loss at Dice;) that might be in -jest, yet now he might say in earnest. The -Lines are these,</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>I thought my self secure, for I could top,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>By which I've forc’d some Citt’s to leave their shop.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>I palm’d, and put the change upon them too,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>I only studied how I might undo.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em><span class='pageno' id='Page_vii'>vii</span>But now I'm met with, 'tis but just I see,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>That he which others cheats should cheated be.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>He being clear of these two crimes, Thieving -and Cheating (which are the most Capital,) I -know not why he should be avoided for any -other, though we suppose him guilty of many -female frauds, his inclination leading him to be -a lover (though Mercurial and unconstant) of -the Female sex; with whom I suppose he may -have acted some of the adventures by him recited, -and those passages, with what others he -thought or heard of: and whereof many persons -in this our age are guilty, he having methodiz’d, -is the main part of his Book; and the intent of -his writing, it was to shew the deformity of vice, -that every one might shun it. The two lines -which he placed on the Title page of many of -his Books, sufficiently demonstrating the Authors -intent. The words are these,</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Read, but don't practice: since the Author finds</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>They which live honest, have most quiet minds.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>Thus, although the intent of his writing was -good, and the effects proved answerable in the -sale of the Book, yet could I not procure him -to proceed, though I offered him my assistance, -in acquainting him with my experience; but all -<span class='pageno' id='Page_viii'>viii</span>would not do: Wherefore I applyed my self to -another, a brother of the same trade; a professed -Author, and one who hath been happy -enough in the sale of many of his writings; -him I courted into a complyance with my desire, -and perswaded to begin to write somewhat to -the purpose; I proposing only to him to give -an account of the knavery of many trades and -professions. I gave him my best instructions, -and laid my ground-work well enough, as I hoped -to have him proceed: But so soon as he knew -my intention of making his writing a part of (by -joyning it to) <cite>The Rogue</cite>, with some anger he -left it, and refused to proceed.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He having thus laid down the Cudgels, I then -took them up my self, and those loose scribled -papers which I had written for his instruction to -proceed upon, I viewed over, and after some -small correction they serve for the greatest part -of this Treatise.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In what I have written; I begin first with -my self (as we all ought to do when we intend -to amend,) and give an account of the greatest -<em>Knaveries</em> which I know, or can at present call -to mind, there are or have been committed in -two trades; the one a Scrivener, in which I was -bred, and the other a Book-seller, in which I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_ix'>ix</span>have been now above twelve years, on and off, -a professed Practitioner. When I was a child I -was intended to be a <em>Church-man</em> in profession, -as well as name; but the time proving unhappy, -and no encouragement for that profession, and -my Father aiming at some imployment that -might be profitable, and knowing the trade of a -Scrivener to be so, was for that cause enduced to -place me with a Master of that quality, (though -my inclination led me rather to the Book-selling -Employ.) Being thus placed out, I not only endeavoured -to learn my calling; but also at all -spare times plyed my Book; and though I had -a very great employment under my Master, yet -I made a shift not only to read much, and learn -the <em>French</em> and other Languages, but to write -somewhat for the Press. And now I am speaking -of my Master (in regard in part of this -Book, I give an account of the <em>Knaveries</em> of the -Scriveners trade) it will be convenient to say -somewhat to clear him from any guilt therein, -or else it may be supposed that I mean him: -But they that think so are much mistaken, for -he then was, and still is a solid, honest, sober -Citizen; and not in the least as I know of, guilty -<span class='pageno' id='Page_x'>x</span>of any misdemeanour in his practice: and it was -my folly, and not his fault to leave him: for -after about five years service with him, I went -to another, and from thence forward it was that -I gained the first experience of the <em>Knavery</em> of -that profession; and since then, not only by -keeping company with some of them, but also -by my own experience and practice, (though not -as the Cheater, but <em>Cheated</em>,) I can truly write a -<span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Probatum est</em></span> to what I have written of that -Profession, and if occasion were, give a <em>Clavis</em> or -<em>Key</em>, to discover most, if not all of those several -pieces of <em>Knavery</em> I have here discoursed of: And -thus much for the Scrivener.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And as for the Book-sellers trade, my inclination -leading me to it very much, I did about -twelve years ago publickly profess it, in keeping -a Shop, wherein I used as well the Bookselling, -as the Scriveners quality; but having knaves to -deal with, of whom I bought some part of my -ware, I soon left off the Bookselling trade, only -keeping to the other; in which I sufficiently -profited my self; And I defie all the world to -charge me with any <em>Knavery</em> in the whole course -of my practice; which during the time of great -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xi'>xi</span>buildings at the East part of <em>London</em>, (where I -dwelt) I gained much; but that ceasing, and the -tide of employment ebbing at the East part, I -thought it would be convenient to remove West-ward, -especially, his Majesty being then happily -and gloriously returned, and fixed at that end of -the Town. And therefore taking a house and -shop, that I might have two strings to my Bow, -I again professed both Trades, of a Scrivener and -Bookseller. I now thought my self wise enough -to deal with the Booksellers; but I soon found -my self deceived, to my cost, for I was drawn in -by some of that profession to be concern’d in -printing of Play-books; in which, I having skill, -and much affection to the matter, willingly engaged. -I, for my part, only printed three, which -were my own proper Copies; and they, (though -I dissuaded them there-from) made choice of the -best Playes then extant; though the Copies were -other mens, I thought this criminal, but they -made a tush at it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The owner of the Copies hearing of this -wrong done to them, gained a Warrant to seize -them: My Partners secured theirs, and one of -them had so much cunning <em>Knavery</em> as to come -to me, and sell me his share, and within a day or -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xii'>xii</span>two after delivery, directed the Officers (who -had warrant to seize) to my house, where they -at once took from me 1400 Play-books; the -value whereof is easily computed to be considerable.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This happening in time of much business (for -my Mother was then lately dead, and my Father -dying) I could not look after the recovery of my -books, which I heard were divided, and I never -to this day had satisfaction of one or other. My -Father soon after dying, and leaving me a plentifull -estate, I resolved to quit all Trading in general, -retire into the Country, and lead a Contemplative -life; (for indeed I never had a love -for any Trade, hating the business in general, -and only used them for a livelyhood). I -having thus given out, had several offers from -Book-sellers to buy my books (which were of a -considerable value, being valued at some hundreds -of pounds;) He who had so lately Cheated -me, did amongst others desire to havè them, and -did ingeniously confess the trick he had lately -put upon me: and this his ingenious confession -he made as an argument for me to trust him -with the rest of my Books: Though I should -have made this use of his confession, not to deal -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xiii'>xiii</span>with him further, yet he promising all honesty -for the future, I again agreed to trust him with -my whole Stock, and thereby did I agree to -cheat my self; for though it was his fault to -cheat me the first time, yet now it was only -mine, to let him do it after so fair a knowledge -as he did; for though he lived some years after -that, yet I could never get any considerable returns -for my Stock of Books, and he in the late -great Contagion dying, was considerably indebted -to me, and I hoping to get what he owed me, -ventured to possess my self of his Estate, and -pay several Debts which he owed to others: -but they proved so many, and his Estate so -small, that I was worse than I was before; and -this gave me so sensible a squeeze that I yet am -sensible of.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And this is the only occasion that hath again -made me engage my self in the Book-selling -employment: which although I have now used -above twelve years, and in that time laid out -several hundreds of pounds in Printing, yet I was -never engaged in printing any Book that was -another mans Propriety, except when I was drawn -in by the three Booksellers, and as I have already -told you, and which was so much to my loss: -And as for my Trading in the Scriveners employment, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xiv'>xiv</span>where it is usual for most of that -Trade to keep the best bargains of Lands and -Houses for themselves, and put off the worst to -their Customers, I have not done so, but it hath -been my unhappiness to have the worst bargains -of houses of any, which I still keep: and though -they did cost me many hundreds of pounds, yet -they are rather a trouble, than any addition to the -rest of my estate. And if I was ever guilty of -dealing hardly with, or griping any of my Clients -when I was a publick practitioner, (as I cannot -remember any such action,) I am sure I have -been (since I left the publick Profession of a -Scrivener) worse served by some of that quality, -with whom I have had some particular dealing.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I have given you this account of my transactions, -to acquaint you how <em>Roguishly</em> I have been -dealt with, and that I am (and must needs be, -out of all these experiences) able to give you a -considerable account of the greatest <em>Knaveries</em> -and <em>Cheats</em> of these two Trades. And what hath -cost me so dear, I here (for publick good) present -to you for a small price; for I’le assure you, I -have oftentimes had a Fee given me for my -Advice in one of these many Cases were opened -by the Scrivener, and that part of this Book (if -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xv'>xv</span>well considered and understood) may and will be -of very great use and consequence to any person -who hath any converse in the world. Besides -the <em>Knaveries</em> and <em>Cheats</em> of these two Trades, -you have those of several others, as a <em>Barber-chyrurgeon</em>, -a <em>Tapster</em>, a <em>Cook</em>, a <em>Lock-smith</em>, <em>Taylor</em>, -<em>Baker</em>, <em>Plaisterer</em>, <em>Drugster</em>, and many others; -and in pourtraying of them I have not affected -words but matter, I have written as I would have -spoken, and as much in little as possibly I could. -Here is that which (I hope) will please all humours, -both the frollick and the serious, nay -some of the factious too will buy this Part as well -as the first; and to make that out, I’le tell you a -late, but true story.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Author of the first Part being with a -Friend at an Ale-house, drinking at a publick fire -(there being also at the same time two Crop-ear’d -fellows) he accidentally was talking about the -Book, and relating to his Friend the trouble he -under-went at the first publishing thereof, by reason -it was not then licensed. Yes, said his Friend, -I remember that some of the Clergy were very -much offended, and you as well as the Printers, -were like to have suffered Imprisonment. Why, -what was the matter; said one of these fellows, -what were the Bishops troubled at it? Yes, said -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xvi'>xvi</span>the Author, I was forced to absent my self for -some dayes, till the heat of the matter was over: -having said thus, he left the room at present, and -the two men taking the opportunity of his absence, -enquired of his Friend what he was, and -what was the reason of the Bishops anger? To -this his Friend replyed, that the Author was a -very honest man, (which they in their terms interpret -<em>Fanatick</em>) and that all the reason of the -trouble was, because it was not Licensed. Well, -said one of them, can he help me to some of them? -Yes, said his Friend: and by this time the Author -being returned, he was acquainted by his -Friend with the request of the two strangers, and -they likewise again desiring of it, he furnished -them at present with a dozen, for which he had -a greater price than usual, and then they desired -to have more to give to their friends, thinking to -have found some Fanatick Doctrine: so eager -are these sort of people to buy any thing that is -unlicensed, following the Proverb, <em>that stolen meat -is sweetest</em>: But I believe they were not very well -pleased when they, or their Fanatick brethren (to -whom they presented them) had perused them: -but it is possible that (though they were mistaken -in the main) yet they might be well enough -pleased in the private reading, and that as in a -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xvii'>xvii</span>Looking-glass they might see some of those crimes -lively represented, whereof they had been guilty.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus I say this Book hath been bought up by -all sorts of people, and I my self at the first publishing -the first Part, presented one of them to an -Acquaintance of mine, who (I believe) had been -knavish enough, and a Preacher of several perswasions, -he read it over, and at my next sight -of him I asked him his opinion of it? Truly, said -he, there are many various Cheats and Rogueries, -but if the Author had my experience and -practice, he might write a Book ten times bigger, -and more full of brave Cheats, and considerable -Rogueries, things worth attempting, whereas -these are but foolish and idle, and for the most -part unprofitable. I who was partly acquainted -with many passages of his life, knew he spake -true then, and have here in this second Part had -a touch at him, but far short of what I know of -him, it not being convenient to tell truth at all -times. I have likewise met with several other -adventurers and transactions in the world, where -I (through the frankness and easiness of my nature) -have still come off the abused party; part -of which I have here sprinkled up and down, and -the rest I reserve till more time and conveniency -to publish among other things in a third Part. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xviii'>xviii</span>And this Book though (by reason of the extraordinariness -of some passages) it may seem a Romance, -yet I’le assure ye there is nothing but the -truth, naked as she ought to be, in plain colours; -for like the first Draught of a Painter, I have -only laid on the dead colours without any flourishes, -varnishes, or adornments; and though that -be the first, yet it is commonly the greatest piece -of Art, and seldom mended or altered, but spoiled: -and so in my writing of this, I have not varied -in any thing from my first thoughts, which have -been swift and full of matter, and therefore need -not in so plain a case any embellishments, so that -here you shall hardly meet with a piece of Poetry, -and that which is, is just to the matter, not -sorted or strained, but natural and free; neither -have I borrowed any Sentences out of any Authors, -to embellish and add lustre to my writing: -what I have done, (and that is but little) I will -tell you of.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And now I have told you in general what -you are to expect, I will likewise give you -a short account of my particular method, and so -conclude. First, the Author of the first Part -having left his <em>Rogue</em> a married man, and an Inhabitant -in the <em>East-Indies</em>, I was obliged to lay -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xix'>xix</span>my Scene there, and go thither to find him, where -I give an account not only of his manner of living, -and how he spent his time there, but also of -the Government, Manners, and Customs, both -Ecclesiastical and Civil of the Countrey; and I have -spent one whole long Chapter in acquainting you -with their Religion, which though it may seem -strange and extravagant, yet it is no more than -the truth, as I can prove from good Authors from -whence I had it. I likewise cause our <em>Rogue</em> to -sum up his fore-passed life, with some small reflections, -and I bring into his company four male, -and two female Companions, as good Boys and -Girls as ever twang’d. They coming from <em>England</em> -only on a Ramble, are thought very fit -Companions, and the lives of these travellers are -related to our <em>Rogue</em> by one of the Company. -This relation is full of variety, and though long, -yet (I hope) will not be thought tedious nor improper: -for the length I must crave pardon, for -I could not well avoid it, and I was forced -(though improperly enough) to make breaks to -divide it into Chapters.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I have not only taken pains in describing the -Laws, Manners, and Customs of the Natives -with my Pen, but for your greater pleasure and -satisfaction, the Graver hath been at work to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xx'>xx</span>present you the Figure of them, the most lively I -could contrive in so narrow a compass. You -have likewise another Figure of all our Lads -and Lasses together in one of their Tavern Frolicks.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I have had so much work to do in bringing -these Companions to our <em>Rogue</em> in the <em>Indies</em>, -and relating what they are (in which I have -spent much oyl and labour) that I cannot this -bout, bring him over to <em>England</em> as is expected; -but I’le allure you (if you accept this, as I question -not) that I shall hereafter attend him through -other Countries, and with a great Train of Attendants -or Companions bring him again to his -native Countrey of <em>Ireland</em>, and so to <em>England</em>, -where he and his Company may do such acts as -shall raise wonder in the Readers. But let this -suffice at present.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And now I have almost done with the Preface, -which though it be long, yet I like it better -to have it so, than to fill up a Sheet or two of -Paper with <em>Commendatory Verses</em>, which some -Authors covet, and are very proud of, and rather -than go without, will write themselves: -This I could have done or procured, but esteeming -all that can be written in that nature to be -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xxi'>xxi</span>nothing, unless the reader approves the Book, -who is now so wise as not to trust to another -mans judgment, I therefore declined that, and I -hope when the Preface is read over, it will not be -thought wholly impertinent; for I have therein -laid down some reasons for this my manner of writing. -But some ignorant Readers commonly skip -over the Preface, running greedily to the matter, -and so they will use me; and having read the -Book will say, that I had better have spared my -self the trouble and cost, for here is nothing but -what they already are acquainted with. To you -who are so knowing and well experienced, I answer -you with this Request, That you will do -as much for publick good, as I have intended by -writing this (and I hope done) and in order thereunto -write and publish your Experiences, and I -promise you I’le be a Customer for one of them, -and encourage others to be so; and though it -may not be so well as what I have written, (that -is, so full of profitable Experiences) yet it will be -a hard case if there be not somewhat worth the -knowing: If my judgment tells me that it is -better, I’le acknowledge it, and I and the other -Readers shall be the more obliged to you for -your pains; and I had rather gain experience and -knowledge thus by reading then dealing with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_xxii'>xxii</span>some of you, and be out-witted and snapt. -Though it is true, that that wit is best that -is bought, yet I know a man may pay too -dear for it, (as hitherto I have done) and -therefore, and to the end that other men may -learn by my harms (as the Latine Sentence is, -<span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Felix quem faciunt aliena pericula cautum</em></span>, -He is happy that is warn’d by other mens harms) -I have written this which I am sure may be profitable, -and I hope not in the least hurtful. Wherefore -Reader, I pray put on Charity for thy -Spectacles, and read on.</p> - -<div class='c007'><em>Yours</em>, F. K.</div> - -<div class='figcenter id002'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_xxiii'>xxiii</span> -<img src='images/i_frontis.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_1'>1</span> - <h1 class='c009'>THE <br /><span class='xlarge'>ENGLISH ROGUE</span></h1> -</div> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> -<div class='nf-center c001'> - <div>Continued in the Life of</div> - <div><span class='xlarge'><em>MERITON LATROON</em>,</span></div> - <div class='c001'>And other</div> - <div><span class='large'>EXTRAVAGANTS.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div><span class='large'>Part II.</span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. I.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He discourses of the manner of Government, of the -Inhabitants of the</em> East-Indies; <em>a small Voyage -by Sea, where he is in danger by a Tempest, and -a</em> Malabar <em>Man of War, but escapes both; he -makes some rambles into the Country, and returning -home has some reflections on his fore passed -life.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I was now arrived at the Meridian of my age, and -enjoyed such a plenty of every thing, that I soon -forgot the many miseries I had lately suffered, -since my banishment from <em>England</em>. I governed -my Family with a most absolute command, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_2'>2</span>received a willing obedience as well from my Wife, -as all our Servants, and during the stay of our <em>English</em> -Ships, I gained very much by entertaining my Country-men -with necessaries. I kept so punctual a -correspondence with the <em>Banian</em> Merchants, that I -could command any thing; and by their means -found the way of Trading, by which I considerably -enriched my self; so that at the departure of the -<em>English</em> Fleet, I having cast up an account of my -Estate, found that I had gained above 2000 Rupees, -(which being the Country money, and worth -about 2 <em>s.</em> a piece, amounted to 200 <em>l.</em>) also I had -a good parcel of Diamonds, besides those I had -cheated the <em>Banian</em> of at my first arrival; several -other Commodities I had by me, which (with my -Houshold-stuff which was considerable) did in all -amount to a great value. The Fleet being departed, -the chief of our Trading ceased, and now -it was vacation time, and I (hating idleness, and -somewhat weary of my Wives company) being -desirous of Novelty, set out to view the Country: -to which end taking money with me, and all other -necessaries, I hired an <em>Indian</em> Coach, which is a -kind of a Chariot with two wheels, and will hold -about four persons; this Coach was drawn with -two Oxen, who will travel about thirty miles a -day: my charge was not much, for about eighteen-pence -a day paid my Coach-man, and kept his -Cattel. Thus did I ramble about the Country, -visiting other of my acquaintance, where I had a -full enjoyment of every thing the Country afforded: -for we had not only the Country drink called -<em>Toddee</em>, which is made of the juyce of several -<span class='pageno' id='Page_3'>3</span>Trees, and <em>Punch</em> which is made of Rack-lime, -or lime-water, Sugar, Spices, and sometimes the -addition of <em>Amber-greese</em>, but we likewise drank -great quantities of <em>Persian</em> Wine, which is much -like Claret, and brought from that Country in -Bottles. These were our drinks whereof we drank -plentifully, and oftentimes to excess; our meat -was chiefly Rice, with Beans, and Turkeys, Beef -and Mutton, and sometimes Veal and Lamb; -this was my ordinary diet, but the <em>Banians</em> eat -no flesh, accounting it criminal, it being contrary -to their Religion to kill any thing; the chiefest -exercise we had was playing at Nine-pins, a game -I was well acquainted with in <em>England</em>, and therefore -could well enough deal with the Natives, -though they were expert therein. Though I -pleased my self in these things, yet there was still -wanting the only thing which had alwayes made -my life pleasant to me, and that was the company -of Women, for without their pleasing society in a -full enjoyment I reckoned I had nothing, and -therefore upon every turn found them out; but -I must now be contented with the Natives, who -although they are not so fair as the women of -our <em>European</em> Countries, yet they may pass well -enough, for their complexions are commonly of a -tawny hiew, but they are richly adorned with Pearl -and other Jewels; I speak of those who were Mercenary. -There is no Town but had two or three of -these <em>Brothel-houses</em>, which were allowed of; neither -was it any disgrace to be seen therein; the -handsomest women are here: the Matron of the -house is furnished with several, who she purchases -<span class='pageno' id='Page_4'>4</span>sometimes of their own Parents, who sell them, -not accounting it an injury to dispose them to -this purpose. These old Bawds are as cunning -as those of our Country, for they will sell a Maidenhead -two or three times over, for which they will -sometimes have twenty or thirty Rupees, according -to the goodness of the Commodity, and good -will of the purchaser, who shall enjoy his bargain -for two or three dayes or nights together, either -at their lodgings, or at home at their own houses; -neither do their Wives dare to contradict their -Husbands therein, for they will oftentimes bring -home one of these Lasses, and lodge them in a -Cot in the same room with their Wives, and lye -with them as often as they please, and when -they have done with them send them home -again.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I tryed several of these <i>Bona Roba’s</i>, who pleased -me very well, for what they wanted in beauty they -supplyed in respect and willingness to comply with -and please me in all my desires; and though many -times they have the Pox, by reason of their heat and -activity, yet they value it not, for they are so well -acquainted and furnished with remedies, that they -soon cure themselves, and the men who accompany -them: my ramble being finished, I returned home, -and though my Wife knew I had been at several of -these <em>Brothels</em>, yet I was joyfully received and welcomed -by her. We keeping a publick house, had -all sorts of guests, and now being at leisure I discoursed -with several of the <em>Brammanes</em> who are their -Priests, who informed me not only of the Civil -but Ecclesiastical Government of the Nation: for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_5'>5</span>though I supposed them Heathens, yet I found -that they followed a rule in their livings to which -they strictly tied themselves: They in general -gave me this account, that they are governed by -a Kingly Monarch, who is called the <em>Great Mogul</em>, -he is absolute in his Dominions, and all his -subjects are his slaves; all the Land and Houses -throughout his Dominions are his own, and the -Inhabitants or occupiers are only his Tenants, -and pay a valuable rent for what they enjoy, -which is annually collected by Officers to that -purpose appointed, and paid into his Exchequer; -this he bestows at his own pleasure, or spends in -making War with his Enemies, who are chiefly -the <em>Tartars</em>, and sometimes the <em>Persians</em>; they -have frequently Civil Wars amongst themselves -upon the death of their Prince, if he leaves more -Sons than one behind him; for he who last ruled, -and was Father of this present <em>Mogul</em>, made his -way to the Empire by the death of eleven of his -Brethren, he himself being the youngest when he -dyed, which is not long since; three of his sons -survived him, who all immediately raised great -Armies either to gain the Empire, or lose their -lives in general.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The two youngest having assembled all their -well-willers and friends, with considerable Armies -approached one another, a River now only parting -them.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The eldest of the two dispatched a Messenger -to his Brother, to tell him that he was very well -satisfied in his taking Armes, and since he was -in such readiness, if he pleased he would joyn -forces with him, and assault their elder Brother, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_6'>6</span>who being vanquisht they would divide the Government. -The youngest Brother willingly assenting -to these propositions, came over to him, but -no sooner was he in his power, but he caused -both his eyes to be put out, (thereby disenabling -him from the Government) and soon gaining the -Captains of his Brothers Army to his party, he -joyned Forces, and causing his blind Brother to -be carried with him, advanced to meet and oppose -his elder Brother; in short time they met, and -fought each other with various success, but in fine -he conquered his Brother, and depriving him of -life, as the other of sight, he now remains sole -Monarch of this large Empire.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The old <em>Mogul</em> died infinitely rich, for he left eight -<em>Tancks</em> of coyned Money, each <em>Tanck</em> esteemed to -hold ten millions of Rupees; and indeed it is no -great marvel, for he hath some of his Subjects, especially -the <em>Banian</em> Merchants, that are very rich, -all whose treasure he will command at his own -will; there is one <em>Banian</em> whose name is <em>Vergore</em>, -who was the chiefest Merchant of his Tribe, and -hath most of the Stocks of his fellows in his -hand; to him the <em>Great Mogul</em> sent for money, to -which message he sent this answer, That he would -presently furnish his Highness with a hundred -Carts loaden with ready money. The <em>Mogul</em> -hearing this, ordered him to keep it till he sent -again, or had further occasion. The <em>English</em> have -great priviledges, for they pay less Duties and -Customes than the Natives, for the <em>Banian</em> Merchants -will sometimes hire an <i>English</i> man to go -to Sea with them in their Juncks, which are -great Barks, not to do any service in the voyage, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_7'>7</span>but only to own the Goods, that they may save -several Taxes and Duties that else must be paid, -as Anchorage and Moorage. I one time was -asked by a <em>Banian</em> of my acquaintance, whether -I would go to Sea with him, and he would give -me a considerable recompence: he told me that -I should only wear my hat, eat my victuals, and -when we came to our Port own the Goods; being -desirous of seeing fashions I consented, and our -Junck being loaden, we set sail and departed: -but never was I accompanied with such Sailers, -for the Junck (which is much like a close Lighter) -was deeply loaded with Callicoes, it carried -above 1000 Tun: the wind being fair, all the -tackling was nailed down and fastned, so that -when we had been four dayes at Sea, the wind -contrary to custome changed: but though it -began to be tempestuous, yet all our men -being then at dinner, there was none would -leave their eating to handle the sails, or alter -the tackling; dinner being ended, I perswaded -them with much adoe to go to work, but it -was some hours ere they had loosned their -tackling, so as to lower their sails, and by that -time we were driven out of knowledge; the winds -there are usually so constant, that they never -make provision to handle their sails, and alter -them, but commonly as they fix them at their -setting out, so they continue till they come to -their Port, where instead of an Anchor they carry -a very great stone, fastned by an iron ring to -their Cable, which they let down while they stay, -but take up when they go away; and then they -alter their sails, sitting them to the wind to bring -<span class='pageno' id='Page_8'>8</span>them back; they continue in that manner to the -end of the Voyage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But now it falling out otherwise, great was -their trouble, not knowing how to behave themselves: -and although there was forty men on board, -and they all well enough acquainted with Navigation -in those parts, yet I that was but of one -years standing was their best instructor, or else -we had been lost and perished; most of our sails -being now taken down, and the wind ceasing, we -by the next day came into our knowledge, but -met with another misfortune, which was like to -prove worse than the former, for we discovered a -Junck, though nothing near so big as ours, yet better -man’d, and was indeed a <em>Malabar</em> Man of -War, and our professed Enemy, who are used to -infest those Seas with their Pyracies; our Seamen -being sensible of the desperateness of our condition, -were greatly dismayed, but I (who was formerly -used to be dead-hearted enough) did now -become valorous, and encouraged them by words -and actions, for considering the badness of my -own condition, being likely not only to lose what -Estate I had lately gathered, but at least wise -my liberty, and it may be my life, (for many of -these <em>Malabars</em> do kill and feed on their Prisoners) -these considerations I say possessed me -with so much courage, that I was resolved to -try my utmost power to defend my self from -my Enemies; we were by chance accompanied -by ten <em>Moors</em> called <em>Rashpoots</em>, who being alwayes -brought up in Wars, never go unarmed; these -persons being more courageous than the rest, by -my example, put themselves into a posture of -defence, and the other Seamen had Swords and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_9'>9</span>other weapons put into their hands, to keep the -Enemy from boarding us: we had eight great Guns -in our Junck, which were carried more for ornament -than use, for they knew not how to discharge -them against an Enemy to advantage, (they being -as well as their tackling and sails, fixed to -one place) only served to be shot off in triumph, -and make a noise, but would not be well levelled -to carry a Bullet to do execution. I seeing this -inconvenience, took such order therein that the -Guns were placed so as to dammage our Enemy, -who now approaching us, came close up towards -us, but he found a hotter entertainment than he -expected, for we killed several of his men with -our first broad-side; the only weapons our Enemies -had were great stones, which they threw at -us in abundance; but we having again charged -our great Guns, and all the small ones we had -aboard, gave them such a peal as was the funeral -knel to many of them; by this time they were -discouraged, and our men seeing the good success -we had came all in sight and every one taking -a great stone which had been thrown to us -by the Enemy, gave them such an onset with -the stones, as now made them think of giving -over their enterprize, which we compelled them -to do, so soon as we had given them another -broad side, and once more discharged all our -small guns: this gave them so general a blow -that they Vered about and left us to prosecute -our Voyage. Our Enemies being gone, I called -all our men together to see what damage we had -sustained, and upon enquiry found that we had -not lost a man: but about half a dozen broken -<span class='pageno' id='Page_10'>10</span>heads and faces was all the harm we had received.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was generally applauded for my courage, and -the chief owner of the Goods not only rendred -me infinite thanks, but promised me a great reward, -which was justly paid me at the end of our -voyage: I told them that I much wondred at -the manner of our Enemies fight, but I received -this answer, that they seldome used any other -weapons than stones, which they carried in great -plenty, trusting to them and their great numbers: -for the Bark that set upon us had above a hundred -men in her, and would have certainly taken -us, had I not made so good a fight with our -Guns, which was a thing unusual for them to -meet with, not suspecting that we could make -any use of them, otherwise then to shoot upright -as was usual, but they found the contrary to -their cost: for I suppose we had the good fortune -to kill several of them, which so disheartned -them, that they left us as I told you; and thus -we meeting with no more obstruction, in two -moneths time finished our voyage, and returned -home, where I received 500 Rupees as a recompence -for my good service.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was joyfully received at home by my Wife, -and acquired a very good esteem of all by this -my valourous exploit, and had many advantageous -offers to go again on the same account; but I -valuing my pleasure more than profit, which was -hazardous, declined the propositions, and now -rested my self at home, only making some excursions -to visit the best of my friends, who failed -not to welcome me, being the handsomest Women, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_11'>11</span>to whom I made my self welcome. Sometimes -I travelled to the adjacent Towns, where -I visited the pleasant Gardens, and other times -I went further to the Cities, which being well -built with Brick, had pleasant Platforms or Turrets -on the top; many of the Cities were walled, -and fortifyed with Castles for their defence: I -seldome went without a couple of attendants, -which are called <em>Puisns</em>, who were my daily servants; -these were a sort of <em>Banians</em> who served -me for four shillings a moneth a piece, and out -of that found themselves diet, unless they travelled -far from home, and then I allowed each of them -but three half pence a piece <em>per</em> day to buy them -victuals and drink, which was only <em>Cutkeree</em> -<em>Butter</em>, <em>Toddee</em>, with which they were very well -satisfied; neither indeed doth the <em>Consul</em> give -much more to his Servitors, for his chief <em>Puisn</em> -hath but twelve shillings <em>per</em> moneth, and out of -that he keeps a horse and a servant to attend him. -They are very diligent and faithful in what they -are intrusted with, but so soon as they perceive a -New Moon, they tell their Master of it, that they -may pay them their wages.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Having now satisfied my curiosity in these -travels, and being returned home, I began to -consider with my self my fore-passed life: then it -was I did run over these several accidents that -had formerly befallen me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As first, how I committed Rogueries when but -a Boy, and ran away from my Mother, (of whom -I had never since so much as heard or enquired) -I had some reflections thereupon, and -what my Mother might Judge was become of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_12'>12</span>me: Then did I call to mind the rogueries I committed, -when among the Gypsies and Beggars, -and how with them I first tryed and tasted the -pleasure of a Female companion, from that my -apprentiship, and the several adventures I had, -and the pleasant nights lodgings, I enjoyed not -only with the Maid, but the Mistress: how after -the Maid, whom I had gotten with Child, was -delivered, I dispatcht her and child to <em>Virginia</em>, -and soon after by mine and my Mistresses extravagancies -sent my Master first to Prison, and so -out of the world, my Mistress her self not long -surviving him: being then a freeman, I married, -but was justly enough fitted for my disloyalty by -my wives incontinency, which with my own prodigality -soon consumed me, enforced me to leave -<em>England</em> for <em>Ireland</em>, which being my first great -remove, I seriously reflected on not knowing -where I should end my dayes, I being now far -distant from the place of my Nativity; but I bethinking -my self that my only livelyhood depended -there in my viril strength, not that I was -exposed to carry burthens, or labour in the day -time, but in the night, in Venerial combats, -where I received equal pleasure: and indeed I -having run through the whole course of my life, -found, that by the favourable and good opinion -of women (which was not undeserved) I had not -only preserved my self, but many times raised my -self a sufficient fortune: as I had lately done by -marrying with my <em>Moorish</em> Wife, in which present -condition I concluded my self much better than -when I was in <em>Ireland</em> tyed to my old woman, -who only paid me and gave me money according -<span class='pageno' id='Page_13'>13</span>to the service I did her, and was then -again old and peevish, and above all things very -jealous; whereas now I was my own pay-master, -and though my bed-fellow was not fair, yet she -was young and pleasant, and so far from jealousie, -that she her self sometimes would procure me a -young girl, the fairest in the country to lye with -me, and she also lying by me, and taking much -pleasure therein.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Then did I proceed in the thoughts of my former -life, and considered the many dangers I underwent, -all the time I followed my padding employment, -and though I then usually wore money enough in -my Pocket, and sometimes met with some female -adventures, as the Farmers Daughter, the Poetick -Widdow, and my Female Robbers, and others in -whose converse I took much pleasure, yet I was in -all these pleasures still accompanied with fear of -being snapt, as indeed I was at last and likely to be -trus't up: but that my penitence wrought so upon -my friends as to procure my sentence of death, to -be altered into that of banishment: which had -through many miseries and cross adventures -brought me hither, where I received the full enjoyment -of all things: this consideration took me up -much time, and possessed me with some virtuous -thoughts, believing that I had not been preserved -and reserved from so many hazards but for some -good end; and now I had a fair opportunity of -declining Vice, and living vertuously, I not being -likely to be exposed to any such Roguish shifts or -courses as formerly, these thoughts of virtue made -way for those of Religion, and now it was that I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_14'>14</span>seriously considered of that Word in general, and being -(though little practised in) yet well enough -acquainted with the Christian Religion, I wondered -at the absurdity of the Religion of other Nations, -especially of the Country wherein I now lived; and -having been curious in the enquiry of the grounds -thereof, I had received a good account, though little -satisfaction; but since it is a Novelty, and may well -enough suit with the following discourse, which will -consist of several and variety of Knaveries and Cheatings, -whereof I suppose this of this Countries Religion -may very well bear a part: I shall give you a -short account thereof in this following chapter.</p> -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. II.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Original Religion and Worship of the</em> Banians -<em>and</em> Persees, <em>with all their Castes and Tribes.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>This large part of the World which is governed -by the <em>Great Mogul</em>, is inhabited by these -three sort of People, <em>Banians</em>, <em>Moor-men</em> or <em>Rashpoots</em>, -and <em>Persees</em>; the several Religions or Worships -of the first and last, <em>viz.</em> the <em>Banians</em> and <em>Persees</em>, I -shall here give you an account of; but for the <em>Moors</em> -or <em>Rashpoots</em>, they have little esteem for any Religion -<span class='pageno' id='Page_15'>15</span>in particular, and being for the most part Souldiers, -are of the <em>Great Moguls</em> Religion, which is partly -<em>Mahometan</em>, I shall therefore begin with the <em>Banians</em>, -who believe in one God, and that he created the -World out of nothing, and that after this manner; -first he having the four Elements of Air, Earth, Fire, -and Water for a ground-work, by some great Cane -or such like instrument, blew upon the waters, -which arose into a bubble of a round form like an -Egg, which spreading itself made the Firmament so -clear and transparent, which now compasseth the -World about; after this there remaining true liquid -substance in the Earth, God made of both these -together a thing round like a Ball, which is called -the lower World; the more solid part became Earth, -the liquid Sea, both which making one Globe, he -by a great noise or huming sound placed them in the -midst of the Firmament, there he created the Sun -and Moon to distinguish times and seasons, and the -four Elements which were before mixed, were now -separated and assigned to their several places, and -discharged their several offices; the Air filled up the -empty parts, the Fire nourished with heat, the Earth -and Sea brought forth their living creatures, and -then was the World created; and as it had its beginning -from four Elements, so it was measured -by four points, <em>East</em>, <em>West</em>, <em>North</em> and <em>South</em>, and -was to be continued for four Ages, to be peopled -by four <em>Casts</em> or sorts of men, who were to be married -by four sorts of women appointed for them. -The World being made, Man was likewise made out -of the Earth, God putting him into life, and he -worshipping his Creator; Woman was likewise made -<span class='pageno' id='Page_16'>16</span>and given to him as a companion; the first mans -name was <em>Pourous</em>, and the womans name was -<em>Parcoutee</em>, and they lived together as man and -wife, feeding on the fruits of the earth, not destroying -any living Creature.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These two had four sons called <em>Brammon</em>, <em>Cuttery</em>, -<em>Shuddery</em>, and <em>Wyse</em>, who were of different and distinct -nature from each other, for <em>Brammon</em> was of -an earthly constitution, and therefore Melancholly; -<em>Cuttery</em> fiery, and therefore Martial; <em>Shuddery</em> flegmatick, -and therefore Peaceable; <em>Wyse</em> airey, and -therefore full of contrivances and inventions. <em>Brammon</em> -being melancholly and ingenious, God gave him -knowledge, and appointed him to impart his Laws, -and therefore gave him a Book containing the form -of Divine Worship and Religion; <em>Cuttery</em> being -Martial, had power to govern Kingdoms, and therefore -had a Sword given him; <em>Shuddery</em> being mild -and conversable, it was thought fit that he should -be a Merchant and Traffick, and therefore had a -pair of Ballances and a bag of Weights hung at -his girdle; and <em>Wyse</em> being airey, was appointed -for a Mechanick or Handicrafts man, and therefore -had a bag of several sorts of tools.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These were the first men, and these their qualities, -(according to the <em>Banian</em> tradition) that -peopled the Earth; <em>Pourous</em> and <em>Parcoutee</em> had -no daughters, because the sons should go elsewhere -to find them wives, which were made for -them, and placed at the four winds; the four -sons being grown up to mans age, were commanded -to travel; And,</p> - -<p class='c000'>First, <em>Brammon</em> with his Book in his hand took his -<span class='pageno' id='Page_17'>17</span>journey towards the rising of the Sun in the East; -for the place where they were born, and their -Parents created, was in the Middle or Navel -of the world, the Sun at Noon-day casting no -shadow. <em>Brammon</em> taking his journey, as is -said, towards the East, arrived at a goodly -Mountain, before which was a Valley, through -which there passed a Brook; in the descent of -which there appeared a Woman a drinking. This -Woman was of black hair, yellow Complexion, -of an indifferent size, and a modest aspect, and -indeed in every thing made, as if made for her -beholder; who being naked, and seeing her to -be so, was more bashful than the Woman, who -first brake silence, by questioning the cause of his -coming thither.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Brammon</em> hearing her spake, and that in his own -Language, thus reply’d, <em>That the great God, who -made all things had sent him thither</em>: The Woman -seeing his Book, asked the use of it; whereupon -he opening it, shewed her the Contents thereof; -and after some other discourse the consented to be -married to him, according to the form prescribed in -that book; which being done, they lay together, -and had many children, who peopled the East -part of the world: this Womans name was <em>Savatree</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Cuttery</em> the 2d. Brother, was sent upon the same -account to the West part of the world, and taking -his sword in his hand, he advanced on his journey; -but not meeting with any adventure or occasion to -make use thereof, he was much troubled; desiring -above all things, that he might meet with some -people whereon he might exercise his courage: -thus impatiently did he proceed on his journey, till -<span class='pageno' id='Page_18'>18</span>he arrived near a high Mountain, where he might -behold a Personage who was walking with a Martial -pace, and coming nearer, found to be a -Woman armed with a weapon call’d a Chuckery: -They were no sooner met, but they encountred, -and set upon one another; but though he expected -a sudden conquest, yet was he deceived -therein, for his adversary held him in play all that -day, till night parted them. The next day also -they wholly spent in fight; he gained no advantage -over his female enemy, only at the cloze of -the day, he had the fortune to cut her weapon in -two; but the night coming on, she escaped from -him, without any further damage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The next day she was provided with Bow and -Arrows, and then had a great advantage over him, -because she could wound him at a distance, and -he could not hurt her without a close fight; he -being sensible of this odds, clozed with her, and by -main strength threw her down, holding her by the -hair of the head; when having a perfect view of -her beauties, instead of an enemy, he became a -lover of this beautiful object; and that he might -gain her affections, he threw by his weapons, and -applyed himself to her in fair speeches, to which -she was attentive; and he at length became so -prevalent, that they at present plighted troths to -one another, and of enemies, not only at that instant -became friends; but in short time after, living -together, and Nature dictating to them what -must be done for the procreation of their like, they -tasted the fruit of Loves garden, and had many -children, who peopled the West part of the -World; this Womans name was <em>Toddicastree</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_19'>19</span><em>Chuddery</em> the 3d. Son, who was the Merchant-man, -was sent to the North with his ballance -and weights, and he after much travel happened -on a place where he found Pearls, and a Rock or -Mine of Diamonds; and believing them (by -reason of their great luster in the dark) of some -extraordinary value, took some of them with him, -and special notice of the place, that he might find -it again; and so proceeding on his journey, came to -the place where was the Woman that was to be his -Wife, who was wandring by the side of a Wood; -she, seeing him, became fearful; but he coming -to her, and giving her good words, won upon her -to stay and receive him into her company; and -after an account of his journey, which she concluded -was purposely designed to her, because -they understood one anothers speech, he bestowed -some of his Pearls and Diamonds upon her; in -time they proving the comforts of the conjoyned -state, had several children, who peopled the North -part of the World, and became Merchant-men: -he afterwards travelling with them, shewed them -the rock of Diamonds; this Womans name was -<em>Visagundah</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Wyse</em>, the 4th. and youngest of the Brethren, -went also to the South parts of the World, and -carried his tools with him, whereby he was able -to build a house, or perform any other piece of -work needful for the use of man; he was forced -to pass over seven Seas, at each place making a -Vessel, and leaving it behind him: the last Sea -was called <em>Pashurbatee</em>, and brought him to a -Land called <em>Derpe</em>, where he built him a house to -live in, which he did with much content, till the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_20'>20</span>Woman appointed for him came thither to behold -the same: She was very amiable and white, and -her hair was powdred with <em>Saunders</em> and other -<em>Odours</em>: She first spake to him, demanding <em>how -he came thither</em>; He answered her, <em>that the Almighty -had sent him, and he had taken great pains -by coming over seven Seas to wait on her</em>: She was -displeased with his discourse and house, telling him -<em>that she needed him not</em>; and notwithstanding all -his perswasions, left him: he afterwards met her -walking in the Woods; but could not prevail with -her to continue with him; but left him much -troubled. After this, he being in a profound melancholy, -walking abroad, came to a parcel of trees, -under which he placed himself, and there prayed -to his Creator, <em>that he might not lose his labour, -in coming so far to find a Woman that would not -converse with him</em>: To this prayer he had answer, -<em>that his request should be granted, on condition, that -for the future he would erect Images, and adore, and -worship them under green trees</em>: To this he consented, -and at the next meeting he gained the -good will of this Woman who was named <em>Jejunnogundah</em>, -so that she became his wife, by -whom he had several children that peopled the -South.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These Four Brethren being thus dispersed at the -4 several parts of the earth, and having peopled -the same, were all desirous of returning to their own -Country from whence they came, to see their Father -and Mother, and recount their several adventures -to them, and to that end, leaving their -children behind, they and their wives travelled so -<span class='pageno' id='Page_21'>21</span>long, till they came to the place; where they were -first joyfully received of their Parents; and then of -each other; there they likewise had several other -children, begetting several generations, that all the -world might be instructed in their several qualities, -by <em>Brammon</em> in matters of Religion, by <em>Cuttery</em> in -Rule and Governments, by <em>Shuddery</em> in Traffick and -Merchandize, and by <em>Wyse</em> in matters of Handicrafts; -of which four Casts the world consisteth, -every one of them living in his several quality, -keeping his tribe free from confusion or interfeering; -and thus the world was peopled: but in -time, multitude begat difference, and disorder, -and mischief, and every person disagreed with -the other, every one producing new and various -differences, as well in matters of Religion and -Worship, as in all other affairs, when the Almighty -for the wickedness of mankind sent a flood which -came and destroyed all the Creatures of the earth; -and this according to the tradition of the <em>Banians</em>, -was the first Age of the world.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This world of Creatures being destroyed, others -were made in this manner: The Almighty first -made out of the earth these three Creatures, <em>Breman</em>, -<em>Vistney</em> and <em>Ruddery</em>, and gave great power -to them; to <em>Breman</em> he gave the power of making -Creatures, because say the <em>Banians</em>, as great persons -do not their work but by Deputies, so neither -was it fit that God should be servile to his Creatures, -but give to them their being by his Instruments. -To the second, which was <em>Vistney</em>, he -gave charge to preserve the Creatures: But to -the third, which was <em>Ruddery</em>, he gave power to -destroy them, because he knew they would be -<span class='pageno' id='Page_22'>22</span>wicked, and deserve Judgments. <em>Breman</em> was to -be taken up to Heaven in conclusion of the second -age. <em>Vistney</em> was to live as long again as <em>Breman</em>, -and <em>Ruddery</em> was to continue three times as -long, and then he should destroy all the world, -which should be the great day of Judgement.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Breman</em> according to the power given him, produced -man and Woman out of his own bowels, -who being instructed by him gave worship to God, -and reverence to him: the man was by him named -<em>Mamaw</em>, and the Woman <em>Ceterrupa</em>; they were -sent to the <em>East</em>, and there they had three sons -and three daughters, who were sent severally to -the <em>West</em>, <em>North</em> and <em>South</em>, which were peopled -by them: thus man being made by <em>Breman</em>, -<em>Vistney</em> provided things necessary for them, and -<em>Ruddery</em> dispersed afflictions, sicknesses and death, -as men did deserve them.</p> - -<p class='c000'>It was now necessary say the <em>Banians</em>, that the -Law should be given, according to which they -should live; and therefore <em>Breman</em> being called -up into a Mountain, the Almighty gave him out -of a cloud a book, which the <em>Banians</em> call the -<em>Shaster</em>, wherein was written their Lawes; this -book consisted of three Tracts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The first, whereof contained their Moral Law, -and an Explication or Appropriation of the precepts -to every several Tribe and Cast.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The second, was their Ceremonial Law.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The third, distinguished them into Casts or -Tribes, with peculiar observations for each Cast -and Tribe.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The first Tract of the Moral Law contained -eight commandements.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_23'>23</span>1. That they should kill no living Creature, -because like man it had a soul.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. That they should make a Covenant with -their five senses: the Eyes not to see evil things, -the Ears not to hear evil things, the Tongue not -to speak evil, the Pallat not to taste, as wine or -flesh, the hands not to touch any thing defiled.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. That they should duly observe the times of -devotion in washing, worship, <em>&c.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'>4. That they should not tell false tales to deceive.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. That they should be charitable to the poor.</p> - -<p class='c000'>6. That they should not oppress their poor -brethren.</p> - -<p class='c000'>7. That they should celebrate certain Festivals, -not pampering the body, but fasting and watching, -to be fitter for devotion.</p> - -<p class='c000'>8. That they should not steal, though never so -little.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These eight are bestowed among the four -Tribes or Casts, to each two Commandements: -to the <em>Brammanes</em>, which are the Priests, the -first and second, as being strictest in Religion. To -<em>Shuddery</em> they appropriate the third and fourth, -as most proper to them. To <em>Cuttery</em> the fifth, -and sixth, and to <em>Wyse</em>, the seventh and eighth: -they are all enjoyned to keep all the Commandements, -but more particularly those that are -appropriated to their several Casts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The second Tract of the Book delivered to -<em>Breman</em>, comprized certain ceremonial injunctions, -which are these.</p> - -<p class='c000'>First, washing their bodies in rivers, in memory -of the deluge, in which they use this ceremony: -<span class='pageno' id='Page_24'>24</span>first, they besmear their bodies in the mud of the -River, as an emblem of mans filthyness; and -then coming into the water and turning their -faces towards the Sun, the <em>Bramman</em> prayes, that -as the body which is foul as the mud of the -River which is cleansed by water, so that his sin -may be in like manner cleansed; and then the -party plunging himself three times in the River, -and shaking in his hand some grains of Rice as -an offering on the water: he receiveth absolution -for his sins past, and is dismissed.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. The ceremony of anointing the fore head -with red painting, as a peculiar mark which they -often renew.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. They are enjoyned to tender certain prayers -and offerings under green trees, the original of -which custom they derive from <em>Wyse</em>, to whom -they say God appeared in a Vision under a tree; -the tree particularly appropriated for this worship, -is called <em>Ficu Indica</em>, as, <em>vide</em> Sr. W. <em>Rawleigh</em>, -for which tree they have a very great -esteem.</p> - -<p class='c000'>4. They are enjoyned prayers in their Temples, -where they offer to Images with ringing and loud -tinckling of bells and such like impertinent services.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. They are enjoyned Pilgrimage to rivers remote, -as <em>Ganges</em>, where they throw in, as offerings, -Jewels and Treasure of great value.</p> - -<p class='c000'>6. They use Invocation of Saints, and for all -their affairs they have several Saints they invoke -for assistance.</p> - -<p class='c000'>7. Their law binds them to give worship to -God, upon sight of any of his Creatures first seen -after Sun rise, especially to the Sun and Moon, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_25'>25</span>which they call the two eyes of God, as also to -some Beasts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>8. In baptizing children, there is difference in -the Casts, for the <em>Brammanes</em> are extraordinary: -the rest of the children are only washt in water, -with a short prayer, that God would write good -things in the front of the child, all present saying -<em>Amen</em>. They name the child, putting a red oyntment -on the midst of his forehead, and the ceremony -is done. But the children of the Cast of -the <em>Brammanes</em> are not only washed with water, -but anoynted with oyl with these words: <em>Oh -Lord, we present unto thee this child, born of a -holy Tribe, anointed with oyl, and cleansed with -water</em>; unto which they add other ceremonies, -then they enquire the exact time of the childs -birth, and calculate his Nativity, which they keep -by them and give them at the day of their marriage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>9. As for their marriages, their time is different -from other Nations, for they marry at 7 years of -age, they are usually contracted by their Parents; -which being agreed on, they send presents, and -use many triumphant perambulations about the -town for two dayes; and then at the going down -of the Sun they use this ceremony. A fire is -made and interposed between the young couple, -to intimate the ardency of their affections; then -there is a silken string that encloses both their -bodies, to witness the insolveable bond of wedlock; -after this bond, there is a cloth interposed -betwixt them, a custom taken from the meeting -of <em>Brammon</em> and <em>Savatre</em>, who covered themselves -till the words of matrimony were uttered, -so the <em>Brammanes</em> pronouncing certain words, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_26'>26</span>enjoyning the man to provide for the Woman, -and her to loyalty, and pronouncing the blessing -of a fruitful issue, the speech is concluded; the -cloth interposed is taken away; the bond which -ingirted them, unloosed; full freedom is given -them to communicate with one another; they -give no dowry, only the Jewels worn on the Bridal -day; none come to the feast, but those of the -same Tribe or Cast: no Woman is admitted to -second marriage, except the Tribe of <em>Wyse</em>, -which are the handicrafts; men in all Tribes may -marry twice except the <em>Bramanes</em>, every Tribe -marries in their own Casts, and the Tribe of the -<em>Wyse</em> not only marry in their own Tribe, but in -their own trade: as a Barber or Smiths son, must -marry a Barber or Smiths daughter of the same -Tribe.</p> - -<p class='c000'>10. Which is the last, is the ceremony of their -burials; when any is sick to death, they enjoyn -him to utter <em>Narrane</em>, which is one of the names -of God, importing mercy to sinners: they pour -fair water into his hand, praying to <em>Kistnetuppon</em>, -the God of the water, to present him pure to -God; he being dead, his body is washed, and -after buried in this manner. They carry the body -to a rivers side and being set down, the <em>Brammane</em> -uttereth these words. <em>Oh earth! we commend -unto thee this our brother, whilst he lived thou hadst -an interest in him, of the earth he was made, by the -blessing of the earth he was fed, and therefore now -he is dead, we surrender him to thee</em>: after this putting -combustible matter to the body, lighted by -the help of sweet oyl, the <em>Brammane</em> saith, <em>Oh -fire, whilst he lived thou hadst a claim in him, by -whose natural heat he subsisted, we return therefore -<span class='pageno' id='Page_27'>27</span>his body to thee that thou shouldst purge it</em>. -Then the son of the deceased sets two pots, one -with water, and the other with milk on the -ground; the pot with milk on the top of the -other, and with a stone breaks the pot with water, -whereby the water and milk are both spoiled; -upon which account the son thus moralizeth, -That as the stone makes the vessels yield, so did -sickness ruin his Fathers body, which is then -burnt to ashes, which are thrown into the air, the -<em>Brammane</em> uttering these words, <em>Oh air, whilst -he lived by thee he breathed, and now having -breathed his last, we yield him to thee</em>. The ashes -falling on the water, the <em>Brammane</em> saith, <em>Oh -water, whilst he lived, thy moysture did sustain -him, and now his body is dispersed, take thy part -in him</em>. This being done, the <em>Brammane</em> reads -(to the Son or nearest of kin to the deceased) the -Law of mourners; <em>That for ten days he must eat -no Beetle, nor oyl his head, nor put on clean clothes; -but once a month make a Feast, and visit the River -whose water drank up his Fathers ashes</em>. Besides this, -there was a Custom which is brought into a Law, -for the Wives of the deceased to accompany their -Husbands in death, by burning themselves with -his body; and this is still used among persons of -greatest worth, the Women voluntarily exposing -their bodies to the flames. And this is the sum -of the second Tract of the Book delivered to -<em>Breman</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The third Tract consisteth of their being distinguished -into Casts and Tribes, with peculiar observations -for each. The <em>Brammanes</em> being first, -have their name either of <em>Brammon</em>, who was -the first of that Tribe; or else from <em>Breman</em>, who -<span class='pageno' id='Page_28'>28</span>was the first of the second Age, to whom the -Law was delivered, of which there are two sorts, -the common, and the more special; the common -<em>Brammane</em> hath eighty two Casts or Tribes; -which are distinguished by the names of the -places of their first habitations. These discharge -the Ministerial function, in praying and reading -their Law to the People, in which they use a -kind of minical fantastical gesture, and a singing -tone. They are first received into that Order at -seven years of age, using the ceremony of washing -and shaving their heads, only leaving one lock; -they are bound to a Pythagorean silence, and prohibited -haulking, spitting, or coughing, wearing -about their loyns a girdle of an Antilop’s skin, -and another thong of the same about their neck, -descending under the left arm: At fourteen years -of age they are admitted to be <em>Brammanes</em>, exchanging -those leather thongs for four sealing -threads that come over the right shoulder, and -under the right arm, which they sleep withal, in -honour of God and the three persons; they are -enjoyned to keep all things in the <em>Brammanes</em> -Law.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The more special sort of <em>Brammanes</em> are of the -Cast of the <em>Shudderys</em> or <em>Merchant-man</em>, who for -devotion take this condition; He wears a wollen -garment of white, reaching down to the middle -of the thigh, the rest is naked: his head is alwayes -uncovered; they do not shave, but pluck off all -the hair from their heads and beards, leaving only -one lock.</p> - -<p class='c000'>There are several Casts of these, that live more -strictly than the rest; for these never Marry, are very -<span class='pageno' id='Page_29'>29</span>moderate in their Diet, and drink nothing but -water boyled, that so the vapour, which they -suppose to be life, may go out; they sweep away -and disperse their dung, lest it should generate -worms that may have life, and be destroyed, they -keep an Hospital of lame and maimed flying -fowl, which they redeem with a price; they have -all things common, but place no faith in outward -washings, but rather imbrace a careless and -sordid nastiness.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The second Tribe or Cast was <em>Cutteryes</em>, who -had their name from <em>Cuttery</em>, the second son of -<em>Ponrous</em>, who having Dominion and Rule committed -to him; therefore all Souldiers and Kings -are said to be of his Tribe.</p> - -<p class='c000'>That particular of <em>Bremans</em> Book that concerned -this Cast, contained certain precepts of -Government and Policy, which being of common -import, I chose to omit, and shall only -tell you, that in their flourishing estate they were -the ancient Kings of <em>India</em>, especially of that part -that is called <em>Guzzarat</em>, and were called by the -name of <em>Racabs</em>, which signifies a King; they are -said to have thirty six Tribes, and none were -admitted to rule or govern but out of these Tribes. -But in time these <em>Racabs</em> were most of them put -from the Government, and destroyed by the <em>Mahometans</em>, -who oppressed them; some of them -still remain, and are called <em>Rashpootes</em>, which I -have before named; some are as yet unconquered, -and sometimes fight with and against the great -<em>Mogul</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The third Son of <em>Ponrous</em> being called <em>Shuddery</em>, -and Merchandizing being appointed him, -all Merchants therefore are comprized under this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_30'>30</span>Name. The particular of <em>Bremans</em> Book that -concerned this Cast, was a Seminary of Religious -advertizement, enjoyning them to truth in their -words and dealings. These are they that are most -properly called <em>Banians</em>, which name signifies a -<em>harmless People</em>, that will not endure to see a fly, -or worm, or any living thing to be injured, and -being themselves strucken, bear it patiently without -resistance; they are equal in number of their -Casts to the <em>Brammanes</em>, and being like to them, -do more strictly follow their injunctions. Their -form and contract in buying and selling is something -notable; for the Broaker that beateth the -price with him that selleth, looseth his <em>Pamerin</em> -that his folded about his wast, and spreading it -upon his knee, with hands folded underneath, by -their fingers ends the price of pounds, shillings -or pence, is fixed, as the Chapman is intended to -give: The seller in like manner intimateth how -much he purposeth to have; which silent composition -their Law enjoyneth.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Lastly, as the Son of <em>Ponrous</em> was called <em>Wyse</em>, -and was Master of Merchants or Handicrafts, so -all Handicrafts are of that Tribe. The directions -that were in <i>Breman’s</i> Book for these, were touching -their behaviours in their Callings: The name -<em>Wyse</em> signifies one that one is <em>servile</em> or <em>instrumentary</em>; -these People are now commonly called -<em>Gentiles</em>, which are of two sorts; first, the purer -<em>Gentile</em>, such as diet themselves as the <em>Banians</em>, -not eating flesh, fish or wine; and the impure eat -of all sorts, and are commonly Husbandmen, and -usually called <em>Coulees</em>. Those of the purer sort -have thirty six Casts, according to the number of -the Trades practised among them; in which, they -<span class='pageno' id='Page_31'>31</span>make as few instruments serve for the effecting -of divers works, as may be; and whatever they -do, is contrary to the Christian form of working, -for the most part. This is the substance of the -the third Tract of the Book delivered to <em>Breman</em>, -concerning the manner of the four Tribes.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This Book was by <em>Breman</em> communicated to -the <em>Brammanes</em> to be published to the People, who -did give absolute obedience to these injunctions; -but in time, fraud, violence and all manner of -wickedness being committed, God grew angry, -and acquainted <em>Breman</em> that he would destroy the -world: who acquainted the People herewith, but -to little purpose, for soon after they fell to their -wickedness, and God took <em>Breman</em> up into his -bosome who had interceeded for man-kind; then -also <em>Vistney</em> (whose nature and Office it was to -preserve the People) did interceed, but God would -not be pacifyed, but gave charge to <em>Ruddery</em> -(whose Office it was to destroy) to cause the -bowels of the earth to send out a wind to sweep -the Nations as the dust from the face of the -earth: this command was accordingly executed, -and all people were destroyed saving a few that -God permitted <em>Vistney</em> to cover with the skirts -of his preservation, reserved to propagate mankind -in the third age, and so this Age concluded.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The wickedness and ill government of the -Kings and Rulers, being the chief cause of destroying -the last age: therefore all those of <em>Cutteries</em> -Tribe were all destroyed. Now because it -was necessary that there should be some of that -Cast as well as others, wherefore God raised that -Tribe again out of the Cast of the <em>Bramanes</em>: -<span class='pageno' id='Page_32'>32</span>the name of him who renewed and raised this -Tribe was called <em>Ram</em>, who was a good King -and lived piously; but his successors did not so, -but committed so much wickedness that God again -destroyed the world, by the opening of the earth, -which swallowed up all mankind, but a few of the -four Tribes who were left to new-people the world -again, and this was the conclusion of the third -Age.</p> - -<p class='c000'>At the beginning of the fourth Age, there was -one <em>Kistney</em>, a famous Ruler, and pious King, -who wonderfully promoted Religion. <em>Vistney</em> -was now taken up into Heaven, there being no -further need of his preservation; for when this -Age is concluded, there shall be a full end of all -things. The <em>Brammanes</em> suppose this Age shall -be longer then any of the rest, in the end whereof -<em>Ruddery</em> shall be taken up into Heaven: these four -ages they call by these four names, <em>Curtain</em>, -<em>Duauper</em>, <em>Tetrajoo</em> and <em>Kotee</em>; they hold the -manner of these last judgements shall be by fire, -when all shall be destroyed; and so the four Ages -of the world shall be destroyed by the four Elements. -And then shall <em>Ruddery</em> carry up the souls -of all people to Heaven with him, to rest in Gods -bosome, but the bodyes shall all perish: so that -they believe not the resurrection; for they say -Heaven being a place that is pure, they hold it -cannot be capable of such gross substances.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This is the sum of the <em>Banians</em> Religion, wherein -you find much of fancy and conceit as to make it be -so antient, and the number four to be used so often, -as you have heard the meaning of the three creatures, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_33'>33</span>I suppose alludes to the Trinity; but instead of a -confirmation and proof of a Trinity, they would -make a Quaternity thereof, in the name; I suppose, -they (as well as other Nations who differ -from us in Religion) had read over our Bible, and -supposing that but fictions, were resolved to make -a Law of their own, to be somewhat like that of -ours; which how they have done you have already -heard: I shall now likewise give you a brief account -of the Religion used by the <em>Persees</em>, and so -put an end to this Chapter.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These <em>Persees</em> are a People descended from the -antient <em>Persians</em>, who lived in much splendor, but -warrs coming among them, they were dissipated, -and the <em>Mahometans</em> who invaded them, compelled -several to leave their antient Religion for that -of the <em>Mahometan</em>: which they refusing, exposed -themselves to a voluntary banishment, and therefore -carried what of their substance they could -with them: they sought for a new place of habitation, -and at length found it in this Country, where -they now inhabit, being admitted to use their own -Religion, but yielding themselves in subjection to -the government of the Nation, and paying homage -and tribute, their Religion being different from the -rest of the Inhabitants, I shall thus describe to you.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They affirm that before any thing was, there -was a God, who made the Heavens, and the Earth, -and all things therein conteined: at six times or -labours, and between each labour, he rested five -dayes, first, He made the Heavens with their -Orbs, adorned with great lights and lesser, as the -Sun, Moon and Stars; also the Angels whom he -placed in their several orders, according to their -dignities, which place he ordained to be for the -habitations of such as should live holy in this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_34'>34</span>life; and this being done, he rested five dayes. -Then he made Hell in the lower parts of the world, -from which he banished all light and comfort, -wherein were several Mansions that exceeded -each other in dolour, proportioned for the degrees -of Offenders; about which time <em>Lucifer</em> the chief -of Angels, with other of his Order, conspiring -against God, to gain the Soveraignty and command -over all; God threw him first from the -Orb of his happiness, together with his confederates -and accomplices, damn’d him to Hell, -the place that was made for offenders, and turn’d -them from their glorious shapes, into shapes black, -ugly and deformed, till the end of the world, when -all offenders shall receive punishment; this was -the second labour. After this God created the -earth and waters, making this world like a ball, -in that admirable manner that now it is; this -was the third labour. The fourth, was to make -the Trees and Herbs; the fifth, was to make -Beasts, Fowls and Fishes; and the sixth and last, -Man and Woman, whose names were <em>Adamah</em> -and <em>Evah</em>, and by these the world was propagated -in this manner; <em>God</em> as they affirm, <em>did cause</em> -Evah <em>to bring forth two twins every day for a -thousand years together, and none dyed</em>. Lucifer -<em>being malicious, and endeavouring to do mischief -God set certain Supervisors over his -creatures</em>: Hamull <em>had charge of the Heavens</em>, -Acob <em>of the Angels</em>, Foder <em>of the Sun, Moon, and -Stars</em>, Soreh <em>of the Earth</em>, Josah <em>of the Waters</em>, -Sumbolah <em>of the Beasts of the Field</em>, Daloo <em>of -the Fish of the Sea</em>, Rocan <em>of the Tree</em>, Cooz, <em>of -Man and Woman</em>, <em>and</em> Settan <em>and</em> Asud <em>were -Guardians of</em> Lucifer <em>and other evil spirits, who -for all that did some mischief, the sins of men occasioned -the destruction of world by a flood which -<span class='pageno' id='Page_35'>35</span>spared only a few to repeople the earth, which was -done accordingly</em>; and this is their opinion of the -Creation and first Age. As to their Religion, it -was given them by a Law-giver, whose name was -<em>Zertoost</em>, whose birth was strange, and breeding -and visions miraculous; the names of his Father -and Mother were <em>Espintaman</em> and <em>Dodoo</em>, he was -born in <em>China</em>, and great fame going of him when -young, the King of that Country endeavoured his -destruction, but could not bring it to pass, for those -who were sent to destroy him, had their sinews -shrunk; he being twelve or thirteen years of age, -was taken with a great sickness, the King hearing -thereof, sent Physicians to destroy him; but <em>Zertoost</em> -sensible of their practise, refused their Physick, -and fled with his Father and Mother into -<em>Persia</em>; in his way meeting with Rivers, he congeal’d -them them to ice, and so went over: he -arrived at <em>Persia</em> in the time of the Raign of <em>Gustasph</em>; -it was in that Country that at his request -to God, he being purified, was carried up into -heaven, where he heard the Almighty speaking, -as in flames of fire, who revealed to him the -works of the Creation, and what was to come, and -gave him Laws for the better government and -establishment of Religion: <em>Zertoost</em> desired to live -alwayes, that he might instruct the world in Religion; -but God answered, <em>That if he should live -never so long, yet</em> Lucifer <em>would do more harm then -he should do good: but if he desired to live so long -as the world endured he might</em>. God also presented -to <em>Zertoost</em> the seven ages or times of the -<em>Persian</em> Monarchy; the first was the Golden Age, -the days of <em>Guiomaras</em>, second, the Silver, the -dayes of <em>Fraydhun</em>: third, the Brazen, the dayes -of <em>Kaykodoy</em>, the fourth, the Tin, the dayes of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_36'>36</span><em>Lorasph</em>; fifth, Leaden, the dayes of <em>Bahaman</em>, -sixth, the Steel, the dayes of <em>Darab Segner;</em> the -seventh, the Iron Age, in the Raign of <em>Yesdegerd</em>: -He finding by this that the times would be worse -and worse, desired to live no longer than till he had -discharged his Message, and then that he might -be translated to the same place of glory; so he -was reduced to his proper sense, and remained in -heaven many dayes; and then having received -the Book of the Law, and the heavenly fire, he -was conveyed by an Angel to earth again. But -the Angel had no sooner left him, but <em>Lucifer</em> -met him; but notwithstanding his perswasions, -he went on in his designs of revealing the Law, -which he did first to his Father and Mother, and -by their means it came to the ears of <em>Gustasph</em>, -then King of <em>Persia</em>, who sending for him, he told -the King every circumstance, so that the King -began to incline to his religion, often sending for -and conversing with him. The Churchmen of that -time endeavoured to put infamy upon <em>Zertoost</em>, by -perswading the King that he was an Impostor and -of unclean living, for that he had the bones of humane -bodies under his bed, the King hearing this -sent to search, and found it so to be, for these -Church-men had caused them to be conveyed -thither; wherefore <em>Zertoost</em>, by order of the King, -was put in prison: but there happened an occasion, -that he was not only soon released, but also -brought into the Kings favour; for the King having -a Horse, that he prized, that fell sick, and no -person able to cure him, <em>Zertoost</em> undertook the cure, -and performed it; and working some other miracles, -was now of good credit, and esteemed as a man come -from God; so that now his Book gained an esteem, -and the King himself told him, That <em>if he would -grant him four demands</em>, <em>he would believe his</em> -<span class='pageno' id='Page_37'>37</span><em>Law, and be a Professor thereof</em>. The demands -were these; First, <em>That he might ascend to Heaven, -and descend when he list</em>. Secondly, <em>That he -might know what God would do at present, and in -time to come</em>. Thirdly, <em>That he might never dye</em>. -Fourthly, <em>That no instrument whatsoever might -have power to wound or hurt him</em>. <em>Zertoost</em> did -consent that all this might be done, but not by -one person; and therefore to the first, <em>Gustasph</em> -had power to ascend to, and descend from Heaven, -granted to him. The second, which was to -know what would fall out, present and hereafter, -was granted to the Kings Church-man. The -third, which was to live for ever, was granted to -<i>Gustasph’s</i> eldest Son, named <em>Dischiton</em>, who yet -lives as they say, at a place in <em>Persia</em>, called <em>Demawando -Lohoo</em>, in a high Mountain, with a -guard of thirty men; to which place all living -creatures are forbidden to approach, lest they -should live for ever, as they do who abide -there. The last, which was never to be wounded -with instrument or weapon, was granted to the -youngest Son of <em>Gustasph</em>, called <em>Esplandiar</em>. So -<em>Gustasph</em>, and the other three mentioned, proving -the power of these several gifts, all determined -to live according to the precepts in <em>Zertoost</em> Book, -he unfolding the contents thereof, which were -these: This Book contained three several Tracts, -the first whereof was of Judicial Astrology; the -second was of Physick; the third, was called <em>Zertoost</em>, -and this was of matters of Religion: And -these three Tracts were delivered to the <i>Magi’s</i>, -<em>Physicians</em> and <em>Church-men</em>, called <em>Darooes</em>; these -Tracts were devided into Chapters, seven were -in the <em>Wisemen</em> or <em>Jesopps</em> Book, seven in the -<em>Physicians</em>, and seven in the <em>Darooes</em> Book; the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_38'>38</span>two first is unlawful or unnecessary, I shall omit -it, and proceed to the third. The Dicision of -men being Laity and Clergy; and those of the -Clergy being ordinary or extraordinary, <em>It pleased -God,</em> say the <em>Persees, to divide and apportion his -Law among these men</em>. First, therefore, to the -<em>Lay-man</em> God gave five Commandments:</p> - -<p class='c000'>1. To have shame over them, as a remedy -against sin, for that will keep them from oppressing -his inferiours, from stealing, from being -drunk, and from bearing false witness.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. To have fear alwayes present, that they -might not commit sin.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. When they go about any thing, to think -whether it be good or bad, so to do it or let it -alone.</p> - -<p class='c000'>4. That the sight of God’s creatures, in the morning -put them in mind to give God thanks for them.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. That when they pray by day, they turn -their faces towards the Sun; and by night towards -the Moon.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These are the precepts enjoyned the Lay-men, -those of the common Church-man follow, who -are bound to keep, not only these appropriated -to him, but the preceding precepts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>1. To pray after the manner is described in -<em>Zundavestaw</em>, for God is best pleased with that form.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. To keep his eyes from coveting any thing -that is anothers.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. To have a great care to speak the truth alwayes, -because <em>Lucifer</em> is the Father of falshood.</p> - -<p class='c000'>4. To meddle with no bodies business but his -own, and not meddle with the things of the world; -for the Lay-man shall provide all things needful -for him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. To learn the <em>Zundavestaw</em> by heart, that he -may teach the Lay-man.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_39'>39</span>6. To keep himself pure as from dead carcases, -or unclean meats, lest he be defiled.</p> - -<p class='c000'>7. To forgive all injuries, in imitation of God, -who daily forgives us.</p> - -<p class='c000'>8. To teach the common people to pray, to -pray with them for any good: and when they -come to the place of worship, to joyn in common -prayer together.</p> - -<p class='c000'>9. To give Licence for Marriage, and to marry -men and women, the Parents not having power -to do it without the consent of the <em>Herbood</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>10. To spend the greatest part of their time in -the Temple, that he may be ready on all occasions.</p> - -<p class='c000'>11. And last Injunction is, upon pain of Damnation, -to believe no other Law but that of <em>Zertoost</em>, -and not to add to it, nor diminish it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These are the precepts enjoyned the <em>Herbood</em>, -the <em>Distoore</em> being the High Priest, who commands -all the rest, is enjoyned not only these of -the <em>Layman</em> or <em>Behedin</em>, these of the <em>Herbood</em> or -Churchmen, but 13 more of his own, which are -these that follow.</p> - -<p class='c000'>1. That he must never touch any of a strange -Cast or Sect, of what Religion soever; nor any Layman -of his own Religion, but he must wash himself.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. That he must do all his own work, in token -of humility, and for purity, <em>viz.</em> Set his own hearbs, -Sow his own grain, and dress his own meat, unless -he have a Wife to do it for him, which is not usual.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. That he take Tyth or Tenth of the <em>Behedin</em>, -as Gods due, and dispose of it as he thinks fit.</p> - -<p class='c000'>4. That he must use no Pomp or superfluity, -but either give all away in charity, or bestow it in -building of Temples.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. That his house be near the Church, where -he must retire himself, living recluse in Prayer.</p> - -<p class='c000'>6. That he must live purer than others, both -<span class='pageno' id='Page_40'>40</span>in frequent washings and dyet, and also sequester -himself from his Wife in time of her pollutions.</p> - -<p class='c000'>7. That he be learned, and knowing all the -several Books of <em>Zertoost</em>, as well the Astrological -and Physical parts, as the other.</p> - -<p class='c000'>8. That he must never eat and drink excessively.</p> - -<p class='c000'>9. That he fear no body but God, and sin; and -not fear what <em>Lucifer</em> can do to him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>10. That God having given him power in matters -of the soul; therefore when any man sins he -may tell him of it, be he never so great; and -every man is to obey him, as one that speaketh -not his own cause, but Gods.</p> - -<p class='c000'>11. That he be able to discern in what manner -God comes to reveal himself, in what manner -<em>Lucifer</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>12. That he reveal not what God manifesteth -to him by Visions.</p> - -<p class='c000'>13. That he keep an ever-living fire, that never -may go out; which being kindled by that fire -that <em>Zertoost</em> brought from heaven, may endure -for all ages, till fire shall come to destroy all the -world, and that he say his prayers over it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This is a Summary of those precepts contained -in the book of their Law, that <em>Zertoost</em> is by them -affirmed to bring from heaven; and that religion -which <em>Gustasph</em> with his followers embraced, perswaded -by the afore-mentioned Miracles wrought -by <em>Zertoost</em> among them.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The <em>3d.</em> particular in this Tract is the rights -and ceremonies observed by this Sect, differencing -them from others.</p> - -<p class='c000'>First, Though their Law allows them great -liberty in meats and drinks; yet because they -will not displease the <em>Banians</em> and <em>Moors</em>, they -abstain from Kine and Hogsflesh; they eat -alone, and drink in several Cups.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_41'>41</span>2. They observe 6 Feasts in the Year, according -to the 6 works of the Creation.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. As for their Fasts, after every one of their -Feasts they eat but one Meale a day for 5 days -together; and when they eat Flesh they carry -part of it to the Temple as an offering.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Their worship of Fire is taken from <em>Zertoosts</em> -bringing it from Heaven, and it being enjoyned -them: for the nature of it, that which he brought, -could not be extinguished; whether that be preferred -is unknown, but upon effect thereof they -are licensed to compose a fire of several mixtures, -which is of seven sorts; when they meet about -that ceremony bestowed on this Fire, the <em>Destoore</em> -or <em>Herbood</em>, together with the Assembly encompass -it about, and standing about 11 or 12 -foot distance, the <em>Destoore</em> or <em>Herbood</em> uttereth this -speech. <em>That forasmuch as Fire was delivered to</em> -Zertoost <em>their Law-giver from God Almighty, -who pronounced it to be his vertue and excellence, -that therefore they should reverence it, and not -abuse it in the ordinary use thereof, as to put water -in it, or spit in it, &c.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'>At the birth of a child the <em>Daroo</em> or Churchman -is sent for, who calculates the nativity of the -Child, and the Mother names it without any ceremony; -after this it is carried to the Church, -and water is poured thereon, and prayer used, -<em>That God would cleanse it from the uncleanness of -the Father, and menstruous pollutions of the Mother</em>. -At 7 years of age he is led by the Parents -into the Church to have Confirmation, where he -is taught Prayers, and instructed in Religion, -and being washed, he is cloathed in a linnen -Cassock, and other habits, which he ordinarily -wears, and so is admitted into their Sect.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_42'>42</span>They have a five-fold kind of marriage, for -which they have several terms; the most singular, -is that of hiring a mans Son or Daughter to be -marched to their dead Daughter or Son, with -whom they are contracted. The ceremony observed -in their Marriages is performed at Midnight, -not in the Church, but upon a bed, by two -Churchmen, one in behalf of the Man, the other -in behalf of the Woman, who ask if they are willing -to be married, and they joyn hands, the Man -promising to provide for the Woman, and give -her some Gold to bind her to him; and the Woman -promiseth all she hath is his; then the -Churchmen scattering rice, prays that they may -be fruitful, and so they conclude, celebrating the -Marriage feast for 8 days together.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As for burial they have two places or Tombs, -built of a round form, a pretty height from the -ground; within they are paved with stone, in a -shelving manner, in the midst a hollow pit to receive -the consumed bones; about the walls are -the shrowded and sheeted Carkasses laid both of -Men and Women, exposed to the open Air. These -2 Tombs are distant from one another; the one is -for the good livers, the other for the wicked. -When any are sick unto death, the <em>Herbood</em> is sent -for, who prays in the ears of the sick man: and -when he is dead he is carried on an Iron biere; -all who accompany them are interdicted all -speech; only the Churchman, when the body is -laid in the burial place, saith thus, <em>This our Brother -whilst he lived consisted of the 4 Elements, now he -is dead let each take his own, Earth to Earth, Air -to Air, Water to Water, and Fire to Fire</em>. This -done they pray to <em>Sertun</em> and <em>Asud</em>, that they -would keep the Devils from their deceased Brother -<span class='pageno' id='Page_43'>43</span>when he repairs to their holy fire to purge -himself; for they suppose the Soul wandreth three -days on the earth, in which time <em>Lucifer</em> molesteth -it; for security from which molestation, it -flyes to their fire, seeking preservation there; -which time concluded, it receiveth justice or reward, -Hell or Heaven; and therefore they for -those three days offer up Prayers Morning Noon -and Night, that God would be merciful to the -Soul departed, and forgive his sins. After three -days are expired they make a festival, and conclude -their mourning.</p> -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div class='chapter'> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. III.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Arrival of the English Fleet, His entertaining -of six Englishmen, an account of whose Adventures -is promised him by one of the Company.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I had now spent several Months in my Voyage -by Sea, perambulations by Land, and observations -of the Country in general, and this more -particular discovery of the Laws and manners -both Civil and Ecclesiastical of the Inhabitants; -a just account whereof I have given you in the -foregoing Chapters: And now we dayly expected -the return of Ships from <em>England</em>, and therefore -every one provided to be furnished with all -things necessary against their arrival: The Merchants -who were resident on shore had every day -several sorts of commodities brought out of the -Country in Waggons drawn by Oxen, so that -their Storehouses were filled; and I for my part -provided my self with all sorts of Liquors and -Victuals that the Country afforded.</p> - -<p class='c000'>At the time usual the Fleet arrived, which consisted -of 4 Ships, whereof 3 was on the account -<span class='pageno' id='Page_44'>44</span>of the Company, and the 4th by their permission, -came as an Interloper: Those that came on account -of the Company were provided with all -things necessary, by the order of the Consul or -President; and the other Ships Company being -left to shift for themselves, took up my house for -their quarters. The chief of the Company that -lodged with me consisted of 6 persons, two whereof -seemed to be very handsome young men, of -about 18 years of age; these two were very well -respected, as well by the Captain as the others -his Companions; they were all very frolick, blith, -and merry, and several times laughed at several -adventures that had befall'n them during the -Voyage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Though the Captain of this Ship came not on the -Companies account, yet he was very richly loaden, -and was directed to such persons of this Country as -would be sure to do his business for him; neither -was he a stranger therein, for he had been here -twice before, and was acquainted with most of the -<em>Banians</em>, who are so curious and diligent observers, -that if they see a man but once, if he ever -return, though several years after, yet they will -know him again, especially if they have had any -trading with them; and they have so good a conceit -of our Countrymen, that they will oftentimes -trust a Captain with 2 or 300<em>l.</em> worth of Commodities -from one year to another, only giving them -common interest; and as to their ordinary dealing -and bargaining, they are at a word, and there is money -to be saved by dealing with them, and trusting -them, for if you distrust them, then you shall pay so -much the more; if you trust them they will provide -your goods as cheap or cheaper than you can your -self do it, though never so well experienced therein; -I needed not to acquaint our Captain with any of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_45'>45</span>their fashions, for he well enough understood it -himself; but I assisted him and some of the rest in -exchanging their monies; for the <em>Banians</em> allow -no more for any Silver or Gold Coin than it weighs; -for it will never goe currant there, till it be changed -or minted into the Coin of the Country.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Four of my Guests, <em>Viz.</em> The Captain, and three -of the rest did employ themselves in looking after -the Ships unlading; but the other two, who were -the youngest (and therefore, as I thought, fittest -to take pains) did still stay at home in my house, -or else walk out for their recreation. This, and -some other things that I observed, made me curious -in my observations of them in all their actions, -suspecting they were either personages of greater -quality than ordinary, or that there was some -other mystery in the case: but they being as -cunning as my self concealed that from me which -I since knew, though I tryed them with several -speeches and discourses, in which I thought my -self cunning enough; I observed this, that these -two young men never lay together, but sometimes -the Captain lay with one of them, and another -person of his company with the other. The -greatest part of their business being for the present -dispatched, they often times staid at home and -feasted, where they drank off great quantities of -<em>Persian</em> Wine, and other the Country drinks, the -best I could get for them. They having all -drank one time to a good height, and being very -merry, the Captain asked which was the best -house for handsome Women now. I informed -him of the best I knew; but says he, <em>yee have no -English Girls here</em>, no said I, seldom any such -blessings come into this Country, we are forced -to content our selves with the brown Natives: <em>I -believe</em>, said the Captain, <em>if these two young men</em>, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_46'>46</span>William <em>and</em> George (for such was the names of -the two young men I spake of) <em>were hansomly -drest in Womens cloaths, they would pass for hansom -Women</em>. I then of a sudden turning my eyes -towards the parties he spake of, saw that their -cheeks were dy’d of a Vermilion hew, deeper than -lately they had acquired by drinking: This caused -me to distrust something; but the rest of the Company -falling into a kind of a laughter, which I supposed -was somewhat forced, they altered their discourse, -and began a fresh health to all their friends -in <em>England</em>, which I pledged them with a very -good will, telling them that I had some, whose -company I had heartily wished for; <em>what are they</em>, -said the Captain; Sir, said I, they are such as I -beleeve you love, that is, hansom Women in general; -and of these I had the good fortune to be -particularly and intimately acquainted with -several. At the ending of this discourse, I was -called for down to attend some of my guests who -were going, which having done, I again went up, -where I found the Captain and the rest in a standing -posture, ready likewise to be gone, at which I -wondred, but let them take their pleasures: So -five of my six guests left me, and he had gone too -had he not been a little flustred, and then a sleep. -After they were gone several thoughts possest my -mind of what these two youngest persons should -be; and it was long ere I could hit upon the right, -but having one person in the house, with whom I -was more intimate than the rest, I resolved to -use my utmost interest with him to be satisfyed: -he in few hours awaked, and would have been -gone after his companions; but I so far prevailed -with him, that he lay there that night; and because -I would have the better opportunity for my -discourse, I lay with him; when we were in Bed, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_47'>47</span>I told him, that I could heartily wish I could accommodate -him with a female Bedfellow; he replyed, -<em>that would do very well</em>; I offered my assistance -in procuring the best of our Country, but -he was cold in his reply; whereupon I told him, -that by that time he had been so long in -the Country as I had, he would be glad of -one of those whom I sometimes made a shift -to spend a night with: but continued I, I had -rather be at Mother <em>Cr----</em> in <em>Moorfields</em>: Are -you acquainted there, replyed my Bedfellow, -yes, said I, and at most of those houses of hospitality -in or about <em>London</em>, to which Colledges I -was a good Benefactor; why, said my Bedfellow, -you have bin right; or else I had never come -hither, said I: whereupon I acquainted him with -many of my rambles about <em>London</em>, and gave him -such satisfaction in my discourse that he began to -be more free with me; and then I conjured him -to deal truly with me in resolving me one question, -to which he promised me, that he would: I having -gained thus much upon him, told him that my -request was to know what those two young persons -were, which were called <em>William</em> and <em>George</em>: -truly said he, you could not have asked me any thing -that I should be more unwilling to discover than -that; but since I have promised you I will tell -you, and that the truth without any disguise, provided, -you swear to me, not to discover or take -any notice thereof without my consent, to this I -agreed, and having sworn to him, he told me, that -they were not of those names, nor sex, that they -went for, but Women. I told him I had long since -doubted so much, and now I knew it, I would take -no notice thereof, but rather assist than hinder any -design wherein there was so much pleasure, for I -had bin as very a wag as any of them, and had in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_48'>48</span>my time run through as many and various adventures -as any man of my age; he hearing me -say so, asked me where I had lived, and the most -part of my life: I without any dissembling, gave -him a short account of my life, which so pleased -him, that we spent most part of the night therein, -and at my earnest request he promised me that -the next day, he would give me an account of his -life, and adventures, wherein said he, you will find -so many different chances of fortune, as had hardly -befallen any man, and I hope said he, I shall be -able to give you a good account thereof: for since -my coming from <em>England</em>, I have had time to recollect -my self, of some things that else I had forgotten, -but now I have placed the chief passages -of my life into such a Method, as I shall be very -exact in; though I was impatient to hear what -he promised me, yet the night being far spent, -sleep seized on us both for some hours, but awaking -in the morning, and putting him in mind of -his promise, after a mornings draught taken, and -a command that none should interrupt us, he -began as follows.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_49'>49</span> -<img src='images/i_b_049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. IV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Traveller describeth the place of his birth and -Parents, the death of his elder Brother, and how -through the perswasion of his Father; he resolved -to follow thieving.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I was born in <em>Goldin-Lane</em>, a place scituate in -the Suburbs of <em>London</em>, my Fathers name was -<em>Isaac</em>, and by reason of his small stature was commonly -called little <em>Isaac</em>, being a native of the -same place, and by profession a Cobler; but such -was his courage that he was much troubled when -any one called him Cobler; and would reply, -that he was a Translator, or a Transmographer -of shooes. His Wife, who I believe was my -Mother, was named <em>Ursula</em>; she was in the beginning -of her dayes one of those sort of people -that we call <em>Gipsies</em>, or <em>Canting-Beggars</em>, and my -Father travelling into the Country, and wanting -money to pay for a bed at night, he was forced -to take up his lodging in a barn, where he first -came to be acquainted with my Mother; whether -they were ever married or no, I cannot tell, -though I suppose they only took each others -words, as being willing to save the charge of a -Priests-hire. But notwithstanding the darkness -of her complexion (as those sort of people commonly -<span class='pageno' id='Page_50'>50</span>have,) there is not so bad a Jill, but there -is as bad a Jack, for it was not long before she -hornifid my Father by a Banbury Tinker: which -thing was so well known amongst the neighbors, -that they would commonly make horns with their -fingers, and point at him as he passed along the -streets. My eldest brother at seven years of age -attained to such ingenuity that he seldom carried -home any mended shooes to a Gentlemans or -Citizens house, but he would filch either linnen, -silver-spoons, or something else of worth, which -by negligent servants was not laid up safely; -which trade he drave for some space of time, -being by reason of his childish years not in the -least suspected, but the pitcher goes not so often -to the well, but at length it comes broken home: -In processe of time he was taken with the theft, -and for the same carried to <em>Newgate</em>, where poor -little Angel (peace be with him) he dyed in prison, -under the pennance of a discipline which was -applied to him with a little too much rigour.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Our whole family smarted in his punishment, -my father sighed, my mother sobbed, and I wanted -my part of those dainty morsels, which his -theft furnished us withall, for by him my father -drave a pretty trade; having those who always -furnished him with ready money for whatsoever -he brought, and indeed his loss would have -utterly disconsolated my father, but the great -hopes that he had in mee, who was now come to -the same age that my brother was of when he -first began to exercise his gifts in the mystery of -theivery; and that I might tread the same steps -that my brother had done before me, my father -(upon a certain day, when my mother and he and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_51'>51</span>I were alone by our selves) began thus for to endoctrinate -me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My son (said he) the profession of a thief is not -of so base repute as the world gives it out, considering -what brave men have in former times -exercised themselves in this way: I have heard -the Clerk of our parish say, who I assure you was -a well read man, that <em>Robin Hood</em> that famous -thief was in his yonger dayes Earl of <em>Huntingdon</em>; -and that <em>Alexander the Great</em> was no better -then a thief in robbing other Princes of their -Kingdoms and Crowns. (<em>This it seems he spake -in vindication of the Sexton, who used to rob the -dead corps of their sheets and shirts, and those other -necessaries which they carried along with them in -their voyage to heaven.</em>) I tell thee he who steales -not, knows not how to live in this world, nay -doth not almost each thing in the world teach us -for to steal? doe we not see youth steal upon -infancy, manhood steale upon youth, and old age -upon manhood, until at last death stealeth upon -us undiscern’d and bringeth us to our long homes: -How doth summer steal on the spring, autumn -on summer, and winter on autumn, untill all the -whole year is stole out of our sight. Pray what -doe rich Farmers and griping Cormorants, but -steal when they exact in their prices of corn, and -grind the faces of the poor; and how can shop-keepers -wipe off the aspersion of theft from -themselves when they sell a commodity for twice -the worth of it, and thereby cozen the buyer; so -that we see if things be rightly scanned, there be -more thieves in the world than only Taylors, -Millers, and Weavers. And what I pray you -makes Serjants, Bayliffs, and Catchpoles so to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_52'>52</span>envy us, and persecute us as they doe, but that -one trade still envies and malignes another; and -would by their good wills suffer no other theives -but themselves; this it is that makes them so -double diligent in the surprizal of us, though -oftentimes our craft forestals their malice, as I -shall instance to you in one memorable example.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My self and two of my comrades had agreed -to rob a rich Usurer, whose younger brother having -vitiously wasted his estate, was forced to take -this his brothers house for sanctuary, where he -kept as close as a snail in his shell, unless only at -such times when as he imagined the darkness of -the night might shrewd him in obscurity, he so -dreaded these shoulder clappers, who stick closer -to a man than a bur on his cloak, for being once -got into their clutches, you may as soon wring -<em>Hercules</em> club out of his fist, as get free from their -fingers; and herein have thieves a great priviledge -over debters, for the most notorious thief that -ever was, once in a months time he is carted out -of prison, as others for smaller matters are freed -from durance by following the cart, where a fellow -with a catt of nine tayles doth play him such -a lesson, as makes him to skip and mount for joy -of his deliverance; but with a poor debter the -case is far different, for being once in prison, the -best teame of Horses that ever drew in a waggon, -cannot draw him out from thence without a silver -hook.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But to speak of that (some) which more properly -belongs unto thee (for I suppose thou wilt never -attain to such credit as for to be laid up in prison -for debt,) by the help of a servant of the house, who -<span class='pageno' id='Page_53'>53</span>went sharers with us in our prey, we got a false -key made to the back door, whereby (one night) -we attained an easie entrance, and loaded our -selves, to our hearts content; but in our return -one of our companions chanced to sneeze, and -therewithal brake wind so violently behind, that -it waked the old usurer, who suspitious of the least -noise presently cryed out <em>Thieves, thieves</em>: <em>Trusty -Roger</em> his man was very ready to rise at first allarm, -fearing that our discovery might prove prejudicial -to his liberty, and lighting a candle, pretended to -search every hole in the house, into which it was -possible for a mouse to enter; In the meane time -we lay close, yet not, unperceived by this false -servant, who very formally told his Master that -all was safe and well, and that he might take his -rest without any fear; But the dread of his hearing -us prolonged our stay, so long, that day began -to approach, whereupon fearing more danger from -without than from within, we prepared for our departure, -but having opened the door, we found -that we had leapt out of the frying pan into the -fire, and by shunning <em>Scylla</em> were fallen into <em>Charibdis</em>, -for four of these Catchpoles were waiting -at the door for the Usurers brother, having intelligence -belike that he used to make the dusky -morning and dark evening the two shrowds that -carried him safely out and into his Brothers house; -Now I going out of the door first, one of these robustious -fellows laid hands upon me, taking me -for the party they waited for, my two companions -endeavouring to rescue me were seized on by the -other three Baylifs, so that we seeing no hopes -of escape, resolved to cry whore first, and with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_54'>54</span>full mouth cryed out <em>Thieves, thieves</em>; <em>Trusty -Roger</em> and the man that should have been arrested, -hearing this cry, took weapons in their hands, and -out of doors they came, where <em>Roger</em> soon perceiving -how the business went <em>ah you Rogues</em> -(said he) <em>doe you come to rob my Master</em>? and thereupon -laid so nimbly about him, being seconded -by the other, that the Bailiffs were glad to let us -go to defend themselves. Whilest they were thus -busied in pelting each other, we slipped away with -our prize, and to take a full revenge of those -Catch-poles, raised several of the neighbors, whom -we sent to the apprehending of the Bayliffs, whilest -we marched away in safety; what became of them -afterwards I doe not know, onely this I tell thee, -to let thee see that there is not any danger whatsoever -so great, but by wit and cunningness may -be avoided. This story I heard with great attention -which so wrought upon my mind that I -thought my self no less than a second <em>Robin Hood</em> -or little <em>John</em>, and thereupon resolved to put in -speedy execution my fathers dictates which yet -proved very unfortunate to me, as you will finde -by that which follows.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_55'>55</span> -<img src='images/i_b_049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. V.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>His robbing of Orchards, how he was cachett by a -Night-spell; the extremity their family was -brought unto, and how to relieve it, he robbed -a Grocer.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My mind being thus fully fixt to follow thieving, -I began my trade in robbing of Orchards, -returning home with laden thighs, the trophies, -and spoils of Cherry-trees, Pear-trees, and -Plum-trees. My mother instead of correcting me -for what I had done, encouraged me to proceed on -as I had begun; for indeed hunger had pinched us -sorely ever since my brothers death, my fathers credit -being so eclipsed thereby, that until people saw -he would mend his life, scarce any one would employ -him to mend their shoes. One Orchard I especially -haunted it being stor’d with most gallant fruit, -whose very looks me thought did cry, <em>Come eat me</em>: -but so often I frequented the same, especially one -tree of more choice fruit than all the rest, that -the owner of the Orchard (being a rich miserable -chuff, and one who knew on which side his bread -was butter’d) began to mistrust the same, and -therefore that his apples might not depart away -without first taking leave of him, he resolved for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_56'>56</span>the future to prevent the same, and having some -little skill in negromancy, against my next coming -he inchanted his Orchard with a Night-spel.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This he placed at the four corners of his Orchard, -in the hour of <em>Mars</em>, and is of such force being -rightly applyed, that who ever comes within the -bounds thereof, must be forced to stay there till -Sun-rising. Now I that knew not any thing of -what was done, according to my accustomed -course, having the dark night for my coverture, -boldly enter’d the Orchard, with winged haste -ascended upon one of the trees, where having -filled a bag with Apples which my mother had -furnished me withal for that purpose, I thought -to depart away as formerly I had done, but -the case was quite alter’d from what was before; -for I found my self in such a Labyrinth that -the best clue of my invention could not winde me -out; Here did I wander about with my bag on -my shoulders (having not the power in the least -to lay it down) till such time as <em>Aurora</em> begun to -usher in the day, when the old chuff enter’d the -Orchard to see what fish his net had caught, resolving -with severity to punish the <em>Caitifs</em> that -had stoln away his goods, but in stead of a Gudgeon -finding but a sprat, beholding my Childish -years, he could not imagine me to be the Author -of so much wrong as he had received; and thereupon -altering his resolution of breaking arms and -leggs as he first intended, he stepped back to his -house & fetched from thence a great burchin rod, -the instrument wherewith he intended to chastise -me withal, with much silence he approached unto -me; (for a words speaking would dissolve the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_57'>57</span>charm) and having with some strugling untrust -my Breeches, laying me over his knee, he began -to exercise the office of a Pedagogue upon me; -now I having for some space of time before -eaten nothing but green fruit, had gotten a -terrible looseness, which with the fright that I -was in, and the smart that I felt, wrought such -effects in my belly, that opening my posteriors, I -discharged a whole volley of excrements in his -face. This action of mine made him at once to -shut his eyes, open his mouth, and unloose his -hands, so that the charm being broken, and my -body at liberty, I quickly conveyed my self out -of the Orchard, leaving the old catterpillar in a -very stinking condition, not to be remedied without -the benefit of that cleansing element of -water.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Warned by this disaster, I was very fearful to -enter into any more Orchards, and indeed had I -met no Remora in my proceedings, yet this trade -would soon have failed, for not long after the -Apples were all transplated out of the Orchard -into the Cellar, and winter began to hasten on -apace. And now hunger which will not be treated -withal without bread, began to reign Lord and -King in our family; the Chandler would let us -have no more cheese for chalk, nor peny loaves -for round O’s, we had made a black poast white -already with our score, and his belief would extend -no further to trust us for any more: nay the -very Ale-house-keeper (to whom we were such constant -customers) was now grown such a Nullifidian, -that he would not believe us for small-beer, -wherefore we were forced to make a vertue of -necessity, and to prevent starving, our houshold -<span class='pageno' id='Page_58'>58</span>goods marched away one after another; the first -thing that we sold was the Cup-board as the -most unnecessary thing in all the house, having no -victuals to put therein; soon after followed the -Table as an appendix to it, for seeing the Table -will hold no victuals thereon for us to eat, we in -revenge thereof did eat up the Table; That (with -some joynt-stools belonging to it) being devoured -and gone, our stomacks were so hot that it soon -melted away the pewter dishes; for we considered -with our selves that good meat might be eaten -out of wooden platters; then followed the napkins -and table-cloaths, for we were not so much -cloyed with fat meat but that a little linnen would -serve to wipe the greace off of our fingers; in fine -this pinching hunger was the <em>Habeas corpus</em> that -removed all our goods out of the House unto the -Brokers, and now our dwelling place corresponded -with our bellies, being alike both empty.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In this comfortless condition we remained for -the space of three days, having neither money nor -any thing to make money of; being thus sadly -necessitated, my father and I set our witts upon -the Tenter-hooks which way to recruit our decayed -estate, many inventions we had for that -purpose, and present necessity urged us to make -a speedy use of one of them, which not long after -we brought to pass in this manner.</p> - -<p class='c000'>It being then winter time, the Evenings long -and dark, we bought a Link for three pence, the -remainder of our whole estate; with this about ten -of the clock in the night we marched out, resolving -to fasten on the fairest opportunity that should present -<span class='pageno' id='Page_59'>59</span>its self to our sight; many streets we traversed, -but found not any thing that might answer either -our intent or expectation. Coming at last to <em>Basing-lane</em>, -and casting our wandring eyes into a -Shop, we there espyed a Grocer telling of money -on a Counter, being lighted only by a single -candle; this made for our purpose, whereupon -my father planting himself, I boldly entered the -Shop, desiring him to give me leave to light my -Link; which being granted, I with the same soon -popt out his Candle, snatching up a handful of -mony, ran out of the doors with the same as fast -as I could; the Grocer hasted after me amain, in -the mean time my father stept into the shop, and -took away the remainder of the mony. My -nimbleness had soon out stripped the Grocer, who -returned back, and found that the Devil might -dance upon his Counter, for there was never a -cross to keep him from it. About an hour after -we met together at home, where having counted -our purchase, we found it amounted to seven -pounds eighteen shillings and six pence. So long -as this mony lasted, the pot, the spit, and pitcher -was never idle; but what was thus got over the -Devils back was soon spent under his belly, and -in a short time we were reduced to as great want -as we were in before.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_60'>60</span> -<img src='images/i_b_060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. VI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He cheateth a Cutler, afterwards robbeth a bacon -man, his father is prest away for a Soldier, -his mother dyeth, and he being left alone goeth -to live with an uncle, where he acteth many -Rogueries.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Necessity is the best whetstone to sharpen the -edge of a mans invention, when the gutts begin -to grumble against the belly for want of food, -oh in what a confusion is then this little microcosme -of ours? how is the invention rack’d, tortur’d and -stretched forth to supply that defect, my hungry -belly found this to be too true, which made me set -my wits on work for a speedy remedy; a project -quickly came into my head, but to effect the same -I wanted mony; this was a double task for me to -doe, but a willing minde overcomes all difficulties; -away went I to a Cutlers, where in the cheapning of -one knife, I stole another, and lest the Cutler should -mistrust me, I came up to his price, but pretended I -had forgotten my mony, and therefore must goe -home and fetch it. This stoln knife I sold for a groat, -which money I intended for a bait to catch a bigger -fish; some few streets I traversed before my project -<span class='pageno' id='Page_61'>61</span>would fasten, at last coming to <em>Warwick Lane</em> I -saw in a Bacon-shop a fellow standing in a pocket -blew-apron whose innocent looks gave me confident -hopes of a golden prize; in I went and -asked him the price of a pound of bacon, six -pence boy said he of the rib, and four pence of -the gammon; then give me a pound of the -gammon (said I) and here is a groat the whole -estate of a poor boy who hath been a long time -in getting the same. Whilest he was weighing it -I told him I had a curst mother in law, who fed -me only with a bit and a knock, which made me -to go with an empty belly and a heart full of sorrow; -that if shee should know I were in possession -of so eatable a commodity, she would take it from -me, and that she did often search my pocket for -that purpose: I therefore desired him to prevent -the worst that might happen, to put the same -down my back betwixt my doublet and shirt, -which whilst he was doing, I leaning my head -against him, with a short knife cut the pocket out -of his apron, and having thanked him very kindly, -away I went, leaving my poor Bacon-man with -a bottomless pennyless pocket.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My purchased prize was about thirty shillings, -of which some four of it was in brass farthings; -but all was currant coyn that came into my -hands, for I made no scruple at all in the receiving -it; with this I returned home, thinking to be -received with much joy, as having gotten that in -my pocket which would make us all merry, but -the case was quite alter’d from what was before; -my mother was on a sudden fallen sick, my father -pressed for a soldier, & hurried away. This much -abated the edge of my mirth, but my years not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_62'>62</span>being capable of much sorrow, although my Mothers -death ensued not long after, yet it was soon -over, and indeed her outward condition was so -deplorable, it had been almost impiety to have -wished her longer life.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now though my condition was bad enough before, -yet by my Mothers death it was much -worse; I was now left to the wide world, friendless, -monyless, and pittyless, for not any one of -the neighbors would give me entertainment, expecting -no good fruit from the loyns of such a -bad stock. To follow my trade of theiving I -began to dread, for every line, rope, & halter that -I saw, methoughts did admonish me to leave it -off, for fear I came home short at last, and to follow -the occupation of begging was then a very -bad time to begin in, it being about the depth -of winter: at last I remembred my Mother had -a brother, a Barber-Chyrurgion, living in St. <em>Martins</em>; -thither I went, acquainted him with his -sisters death, my own sad condition, and what a -boy I would prove if it would please him to give -me entertainment; he being ignorant of the -trade that I drove, and moved with compassion -at my pittiful tale, told me if I performed what I -promised, I should not want for any thing he -could assist me in: hereupon I was had into the -house, and though my Aunt scowled on me, my -Uncle commanded my rags to be taken off, and -a suit of one of my Cousins put upon me, as being -the more durable, although my own were a thousand -strong.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Having thus with the snake cast my skin, and -attained to good diet and lodging, I quickly began -to be as brisk as a body-Lowse, and to vapour -<span class='pageno' id='Page_63'>63</span>amongst the boys like a Crow in a Gutter; and -(notwithstanding my promise) my mind was now -wholly fixt upon Roguery, but in a lower orb than -what I practised before, tending rather to mirth -then much mischief; to doe this I had several inventions, -according as time and place were convenient; -one of my first exployts was, that being -sent of an errand to a Grocers shop in a frosty -morning, where was a pan of coals to warm their -fingers, I secretly conveyed therein some Guinney -peper, which set the Prentices in such a violent -coughing fit that they were not able to speak to -a Customer; their Mistress hearing this noise below, -came running down staires, where senting -the matter, she began to speak aloud at both ends, -and being something laxative by drinking of Sider, -she bewrayed in what a condition she was in by -what was scattered on the floar.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Sometimes would I in a clean place where wenches -were to pass, lay a train of Gun-powder; -and at the very instant that they went along, set -fire to it, which was a great pleasure to my Worship -to see how the poor Girles would skip and -leap, just like a horse when he hath a nettle -under his tayle. At other times in the night -would I tye a line from one side of the street to -the other about half a foot high, whereby those -that came next were sure to have a fall; nay I -could not forbear to act my Rogueries in the -Church it self, having a Goose-quill filled with lice -and fleas, which I would purchase of the Beggars -for broken meat; these would I blow into the -necks of the daintiest Gentlewomen that I could -see. At other times would I with a needle and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_64'>64</span>thread (which I always carried about with me in -my pocket) sow mens cloaks and womens Gowns -together as they stood in the Crowd, so that when -they went away, there would be such pulling of -one another, that they would never leave until -one of their Garments had a piece of it rent -out.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Amongst other instruments of mischief wherewith -I exercised my self, one was a hallow trunck -to shoot with, in which I was such an artist that I -seldome mist hitting the mark I aimed at; and -that I might be the better undiscovered I on purpose -brake a hole in the glass-window, through -which I used to shoot at my pleasure, scarce could -an oyster-wench or Kitching-stuff wench pass by, -but I would hit her on the neck, hands, or some -naked place, which would set her a rayling and -scolding for a quarter of an hour together at she -knew not whom. One Monday morning a shoo-makers -maid had been fetching a great pitcher -of beer for the Crispins to begin their weeks work -withall; now as she sayled along with the pitcher -in her hand, which with the weight thereof drew -her quite a one side, to prevent the wenches -growing crooked thereby, I levell’d so right that -I hit her on the fingers, so that down came the -pitcher, and with the weight thereof brake all in -pieces, and spilt the good liquor; the poor wench -cryed pittyfully, the Crispins stormed for loosing -their mornings draughts, and being informed it -was I that did it, they vowed to be revenged on -me, which not long after they brought to -pass.</p> - -<p class='c000'>For I that could not live without Roguery no -<span class='pageno' id='Page_65'>65</span>more then a fish without water, still continued my -trade notwithstanding all their threats. One day -whilest I was watching for my prey, thorow the -hole of the glass-window aforesaid, there came by a -man with a basket of drinking-glasses on his head; -scarce was he past me, when I saluted him with a -dirt-bullet on the Calf of his leg, which made him -give such a leap, that down came the basket with -the glasses clattering upon the stones, making such -a murther amongst them, that never was a Citizen -(though he owed ten thousand pound more then he -was worth) so much broken as they. The fellow -seeing his glasses thus mortified, cursed most bitterly, -breathing forth nothing but revenge, if he did -but know who it was that did it. I who was conscious -of my own guilt, hearing him so to thunder, -thought some of his anger might lighten on me, -and therefore to prevent the worst, I ran up the -stairs, and hid my self under the bed; but he that -hath a bad name is worse then half hang’d, the -shoomakers who I had mischiefed before, right or -wrong, said positively that it was I, urging him -on to revenge hiself on my Uncles glass-windows; -the fellow who was easily induced to believe -what they said, and to act accordingly, -made no more adoe but up with his empty basket, -and to revenge his quarrel made such havock -of the windows, that there was scarcely ever a -quarrel left. O how did my Uncle look, and my -Aunt scold to see their house thus metamorphosed -into the shape of a Bawdy-house; but it was in -vain for them to complain, every one took the -mans part, and laid all the blame of the mischief -upon me; hereupon was a privy search made -<span class='pageno' id='Page_66'>66</span>all the house over for me, and being found my -poor buttocks paid full dearly for the breaking of -the windows, my Aunt standing by all the while -to see execution done upon me, and urging my -Uncle on to beat me, for which I cursed her in -my heart most bitterly.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_67'>67</span> -<img src='images/i_b_067.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. VII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He discovers his Aunts playing loose with a Shopkeeper, -his Vncles invective against women.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My Aunts unkindness to me vexed me to -the heart, so that I vowed to my self to -be revenged on her; the print of the rod did not -stick so fast on my buttocks as the remembrance -of her words did stick in my minde; I was not -so watched by <em>Argus</em> as I watched her, for I -knew that women were subject to many faults, -and my Aunt as subject as any of the rest; One -Shopkeeper used constantly to haunt our house, -not a day passed in which we had not his company; -This man my uncle entertained with very -much respect, for what reason I know not, unless -it were that of the Poets.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Experience plainly doth unto us shew,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Cuckolds are kind to them that make them so.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>One day my Uncle went forth to dress a patient, -no sooner was he gone but the Shopkeeper was -there; Now our whole family consisted only of -four persons, my Uncle and Aunt, a maid and my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_68'>68</span>self; in order therefore for their more privacy, the -maid was sent to the market to buy eggs, and -my self had liberty to go forth to play; I kindely -thanked my Aunt for this courtesie, and taking -my hatt, with a seeming forwardness pretended -to go forth: but clapping to the door on the in -side, I softly sneaked back and hid my self under -the staires, where undiscerned I could plainly see -all the passages between my Aunt and the Shopkeeper. -He thinking us gone, took my Aunt by -the hand, and clasping his arm about her neck, fell -to kissing her with as much eagerness as a hungry -dog snatcheth at a bone; no doubt but her lips -were very sweet, for he was still hanging at them -as if he had taken a lease of them for three lives; -at last my Aunt began to struggle (I suppose for -want of breath) and opening her mouth (which I -wisht a hundred times had been closed eternally) -she thus said to him: <em>No pish, why do you thus -trifle? now that the Coast is clear, let us take time -by the for-lock lest we be prevented of our design: -in sooth you are so long about the prologue, as may -chance to marr the Comedy; make not such a long -stop at the porch, but enter loves Cittadel, and ransack -all her treasures</em>, and so giving him a short -kiss, hand in hand up stairs they went. No sooner -were they gone, but I slipt out of my peeping -hole, and coming to the door at the stairs foot, -softly locked the same, and putting the key in -my pocket, with as little noyse conveyed my self -out of the house.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus whilest they were playing their game, I resolved -to play mine, and hiring a Porter, sent him -to my Uncle, to certifie him that my Aunt was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_69'>69</span>swounded away, and laid upon the bed in such -a condition as would grieve him to the heart to -behold it, desiring him to make all the haste home -that possibly he could; and having given him his -message, I stept aside to a neighbors house to -observe (when my uncle came home) how the -project would take.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Porter quickly dispatched his errand, and -my Uncle suddenly posted home, where entering -the house and finding not any one within, he began -first to call for the maid, then for me, and -last of all for my Aunt; but receiving no answer, -he attempted to go up stairs, when the locksmiths -daughter denyed him entrance. The two Lovers -(who by this time had verified the saying to be -true, that a man may be made a Cuckold in the -short time of going to a neighbors house, as well -as going a voyage to the <em>West-Indies</em>) hearing -my Uncle below, were almost distracted with this -surprize; my Aunt dreaded my Uncles anger, -knowing him to be of a very chollerick disposition; -and the poor Shopkeeper feared to be served as -the Country Clown served the Curate whom he -took in bed with his wife, and whom he thus -menaced.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Make me a Cuckold, reading Rogue:</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>No pulpit serve but Susan’s,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Must Susan’s smock your pulpit be?</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>Ile take away that Nusance.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And though Priest wept, and wife did beg,</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>Churl slighted words and tears,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And at one gash from Curate took</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>Musquet and Bandaliers.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_70'>70</span>This feare of loosing his generals made him to -shake worse than if he had had a Tertian ague, -and therefore to prevent it he crept underneath -the bed, whilest my Aunt went down stairs intending -to smother up all with a dissembling kiss; but -when she saw the door was fast, and my uncle -asked her why she locked it? she could not tell -what answer to make at present; but being well -principled in the mysteries of <em>Venus</em>, she soon recollected -her self, and with a sorrowfull voice (as -if she had been sick of a feaver for a fortnight together) -she pewled out these words: <em>Ah dear -Husband</em> (said she) <em>I was lately taken with such a -great swimming in my head, as not able to sit up -longer, I was forced to go up stairs and lie down -upon the bed; in the mean time I suppose your unhappy -kinsman (who minds nothing but mischief) -hath in revenge of me for causing him to be beaten, -locked the door, and thrown away the key</em>. Whilest -she was thus exclaiming on me, I came in puffing -and blowing as seeming quite orewearied with -play, and as if ignorant of what had hapned, asked -very earnestly what was the matter? My Aunt -though she were mue’d up like a hawk, yet hearing -my tongue, could not forbear to vend her -spleen against me in these words: <em>You impudent -young Rogue</em> (said she) <em>doe you act mischief and -then plead ignorance? O that I were but well for -thy sake, I would make every limb of thee feel the -weight of my displeasure</em>, concluding her invective -with as horrid a yelling as an old woman grown -hoars with crying of Sprats, or as a company of -dogs when they bark at the Moon.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Uncle who was of the same nature that other -Cuckolds are commonly of, to believe whatsoever -<span class='pageno' id='Page_71'>71</span>their Wife doe say unto them, hearing her so positively -to affirm it was I that did it, he began -presently to ransack my pockets for the key, protesting -if he found the same about me, he would -make me an example of his severity. But I who -always dreaded what might ensue, to prevent such -after claps, had before bestowed the same in a -house of office. No sooner had my Uncle examined -my pockets, (where was not any thing to -be found that might do me a prejudice,) but I -began to enveigh against my Aunts malice in -blaming my innocency, and to perswade him it -could be no other then some thief, who whilest -my Aunt slept, having locked the door, had hid -himself in one of the Chambers. This though it -carried but little show of probability in it, yet -the fear of loosing his Mammon made him believe -any thing, and therefore presently sent me for a -Smith to break open the door, which being done, -we all three ascended the stairs to search for his -hidden Thief, although my Aunt vehemently -urged the contrary, alleadging it was impossible -that any one should go up the stairs but she must -needs hear them; how ever my uncle would not -be so pacified, but searching about, he at last spyed -the poor Shopkeeper as he lay shaking underneath -the bed half dead with fear. But when he saw who -it was, turning to my Aunt he said, <em>You impudent -whore, do you abuse me thus? you could feign sickness -with a pox to you, when you were so rampant as -to Cornute me in my absence: is this your pretended -chastity and reservation? I shall take a time when to -be even with you; In the mean time Master Shopkeeper</em> -(said he) <em>I will have my pennyworths out of you</em>, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_72'>72</span>thereupon falling on him with his fists, (anger -giving him at once both strength and courage) he -so buffeted the Shopkeeper, that had not the -Smith interposed, I suppose he would go near to -have killed him; but after an hundred or above -of blows, the Smith stepped in betwixt them, giving -the Shopkeeper liberty to run away, bearing -along with him the marks of my Uncles anger, which -he wore as badges in his face for a long time after.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Aunt seeing how bad the Shopkeeper had -sped, and knowing the business too apparent to be -denied, fell down on her knees, desiring my Uncle -to pardon her for what was past, and protesting -amendment for the time to come; this her humiliation -much mollified the edge of my Uncles -anger, who in stead of beating her (which I -heartily wished) fell a railing on the whole sex of -women in general, in these or the like words.</p> - -<p class='c000'>O Nature! why didst thou create such a plague -for men as women; how happy were men had they -never been; oh why could not Nature infuse the -gift of procreation in men alone without the help -of women? then should we never be acquainted -with the deceitful devices of those Devils, Harpies, -Cockatrices, the very Curse of man, dissembling -monsters, only patcht up to cozen and gull men; -borrowing their Hair from one, Complexions from -another, nothing of their own that’s pleasing, all -dissembled, not so much as their very breath is sophisticated -with Amber pellets and kissing causes, -and all to train poor man unto his ruine. A woman -shee’s an Angel at ten, a Saint at fifteen, a Devil -at forty, and a Witch at fourscore, so stufft with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_73'>73</span>vice as leaves no place for vertue to inhabit; of -such crooked conditions, and corrupt actions, that -if all the world were paper, the Sea inke, trees and -plants, penns, and all men Clerks, Scribes, and -Notaries, yet would all that paper be scribled over, -the inke wasted, penns worn to the stumps, and all -the Scriveners weary, before they could describe the -hundredth part of a womans wickedness, so that I -may very well conclude with the Poet.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>There is not one good woman to be found;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And if one were, she merits to be crown’d.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>This my Uncles invective puts me in mind of -a story which I have heard since, concerning the -scarcity of good women, that above five hundred -years agone, there was a great sickness almost -throughout the whole world, wherein there dyed -forty four millions, eight hundred seventy two -thousand, six hundred and eighty three good women, -and of bad women only two hundred and fourteen; -by reason whereof there hath been such a scarcity -of good women ever since, the whole breed of them -being then almost utterly extinct.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_74'>74</span> -<img src='images/i_b_074.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. VIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>His Aunt and the maid joyn together, and by -a blinde wager make him to be laughed and -hooted at by the boyes; he is soundly revenged -on them both for the same.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Never was Prentice more subject to a Master -then my Aunt was to my Uncle, after the -discovery of her leachery; his desires were commands, -and those commands laws which were by -her put in speedy execution, if he bid her go, she -would run; doe that, it was no sooner said then -done, but the greatest miracle of all was, that if -she were never so busy in talking, yet if he said -but <em>peace</em>, she would suddenly hold her tounge, -which before used to be in perpetual motion, and -was as hard to be stopped as a stream when it -hath overflowne its banks, or the sails of a mill -when the wind blows in its greatest violence, so that -a serene sky seemed to have succeeded that storm -that all things were pacified, and that my Uncle -had contentedly put his horns in his pocket.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But though she carried fair weather in her -countenance, she had storms of revenge in her -heart towards me; for she did more than conjecture -that it was I which had caused her all this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_75'>75</span>mischief; and therefore since she durst not vend her -spleen upon me her self, she used the help of her -Maid, who brought the same to pass after this -manner.</p> - -<p class='c000'>One evening (my uncle being abroad) whilest -she, the maid and I were sitting alone by the fire, -after some other discourse, the maid profer’d to lay -a wager with me that I could not blindfolded with -my tongue lick forth a six pence from betwixt her -breasts, this I thought so easy a thing to do, that I -willingly laid a shilling with her on the same, and -presently accorded for to be blinded: which whilest -she was doing, my Aunt (as it was before agreed) -stepped forth of doors, and called in a Boy who was -to act their design, as also some of the neighbours -to be spectators of this my folly. Now in stead -of the Maids brest, the Boyes Hose were put down, -and his naked breech exposed to be the object for -me to lick, which I greedily persued: but presently -hearing a gigling, and senting a ranck smell, I soon -desisted, as being very apprehensive what the -matter was. But when I was unblinded, and beholding -my shame before my eyes, I hung down my -head and look't like a dog that had stole a pudding, -much blaming my credulity, and bitterly cursing -the great cause of that their jollity.</p> - -<p class='c000'>For a long time after I could not walk the streets, -I was so laughed and hooted at by the Boyes, my -Aunt and the Maid having spread the same abroad -in every place, flesh and blood could not endure this, -to see my enemies triumph in my shame, so that -nothing now ran in my mind but revenge, the -very thought of mischief was more sweet unto me -than Muscadine and Eggs, and soon I thought upon -<span class='pageno' id='Page_76'>76</span>a way for to do it. One of our neighbours who -beared a little love to my Aunt, as she did to me, or -loyalty to my Uncle, having a burning glass, I imparted -my project unto him, who applauding my -invention, willingly lent me the same; thus fitted -with an instrument, I soon found out an opportunity -to work my revenge. My Aunt being extreamly -proud, used to wear Lawn Ruffs of a great value. -One Sun-shiney day, sitting in the Shop a sowing -with her back towards me, I took the burning-glass, -and by attracting the Sun-beams set her Ruffs on -a flame about her neck, which made her to shreik -and bellow most hiddeously; whereupon I started -up, and as if affrighted snatched up a payl of -dirty water away from the Maid wherewith she -was washing the Kitchin, and poured the same -on my Aunts head; this though it made her to -look like a Bawd that was newly alighted from -the Cart wherein she had ridden for the sin of -leachery, did she take as a great courtesie at my -hands, having thereby extinguisht the fire wherein -otherwise she might (she said) have perisht; not -in the least judging it was I that did it, but imputing -it as a just Judgment upon her for her intollerable -pride, and vowing thereafter to be more -humble in her carriage, and loving unto me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now though I thought I had plenary satisfaction -for my abuse, of my Aunt, yet I resolved that the -maid should in no case go scotfree, but that her disgrace -should be equal to mine; Being thus resolved, I -procur’d some Emmets Eggs by the help of a Countryman; -the nature of which are, that being taken, in -broth posset, ale, or the like, they will set the parties -<span class='pageno' id='Page_77'>77</span>on farting, as if they would break their very -twatling strings therewith. The very next day -after I had gotten them, my Uncle had invited -some Guests to dinner, wherefore I resolved to -put my resolution in execution then. That morning -the maid to strengthen her the better to go -through her work, had provided her self a Caudle, -she being of the same nature that most women -are of, to know very well what is good for themselves, -no sooner was her back turned, but I conveyed -the Eggs into the same, which she very -freely drank off, but presently her Belly began to -wamble, and her back-side proclaimed aloud that -she was very much troubled with winde; such -loud reports she gave, and so fast they came one -after another, that the good wife in the Tale <em>of -the Fryer and the Boy</em>, was a meer nothing to her. -I could not forbear laughing if I should have been -hang’d to hear how fast she trumpt it about, which -gave her occasion to mistrust that I had done -something unto her; but when she went to rail -at me, her tongue could not be heard for the exceeding -noise that she made with her Tail. By -this time my Aunt was come down off her Chamber, -but hearing how the Maid talkt to her at -both ends, she could not forbear laughing neither, -which vexed the Maid worse than before. My -Uncle hearing the great noise that was made, -came also to see what was the matter, but <em>Jane</em> -(for so was the Maids name) was so ashamed that -she could not speak one word for blushing, only -that her Tail proclaimed that she had a very -great Civil War within her belly: poor <em>Jane</em> did -all she could to hold it in but it would not do, -but out it flew with such impetuosity, that my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_78'>78</span>uncle could less forbear then we, but laughed as -if he would have split himself. This treble noise -of laughter made <em>Jane</em> to think that we had all -conspired against her, wherefore she got into her -Chamber, and notwithstanding dinner was to -dress, yet locking the door, all the Rhetorick that -could be used to her, could not prevail with her -to quit her Chamber all that day.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Next morning (her body being now in a quiet -temper) she appeared out of her den, but who -should then have seen her looks might plainly -perceive how anger and shame strove which should -have most predominancy in her; at first her Clack -began to go, but my Aunt pacifying her, she fell -to her work as she was accustomed. Now over -night I had so devulg’d it amongst the Boyes, -that when that forenoon she was sent to market, -she had not been far out of doors but she had a -hundred boyes at her heels, farting with their -mouths, and making such loud hoots and hollows, -that she was forced to return back again, where -inclosing her self within her Chamber till night, -she packt up her cloaths and in the dusk of the -Evening departed away, whither I never saw her -afterwards.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_79'>79</span> -<img src='images/i_b_049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. IX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>Some abuses of Chyrurgions; the knavery of Tapsters, -Hostlers and Chamberlains, with a brief -character of a drunken Host.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Having now attained to about twelve years -of age, my uncle began to instruct me -somewhat in his art of Chyrurgery, intending -when I had attained some small perfection therein, -to send me to Sea, although my minde never -stood that way, resolving not to be mue’d up in a -wooden Cage, where there was but some few -inches distance continually betwixt me and death. -In this small tract of time that I was thus employed -with my Uncle, I found out much cuningness -in his art whereby to gain money, for if it -were but a prickt finger, he would make a great -matter of it, and tell you what danger you had -been in if you had staid but a minute longer; instancing -how such a one his Patient <em>by only cutting -of a Corn, and drawing blood, it turned to a -Gangreen, which by bad handling of unskilful -Chyrurgions growing worse and worse, they were -at last inforced to send for him, who in a few days -made him perfectly sound, that otherwise</em> (had he -not come to him) <em>must inevitably have perisht</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_80'>80</span>Now because monyed Customers were something -rare, when they did come we made both their -bodies and purses smart for it; lengthening out -the healing of their wounds, the better to wire-draw -their purses. Indeed we were not so much -beholding to the Wars, as we were to the Stews, -unless sometimes a Tavern quarrel brought us a -Patient; but then what a brave incitement we -had to make him part with his mony, telling him -he might recover that and ten times more of his -Adversary, that we would be witness for him, and -that if he had not met with a skilful Chyrurgion, -it would have cost him his life; when as perhaps -it was but a little scratch, his block-head being -too hard for to receive any deep wound.</p> - -<p class='c000'>One story of a Patient I shall relate, not so -much to show the rarity of his cure, but the -malice of a woman which occasioned his hurt.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The fellow by his profession was a Plaisterer, who -had a most damnable scold to his wife, that used -to fetch him from the Ale-house with a Horse-pox; -one night coming home three quarters drunk, she -acted the part of <em>Zantippe</em>, and make the House to -ring with her scolding; this musick was so untunable -in her husbands ears, that getting a Cudgel in -his hands, he fell to be labouring her as Sea-men -do stock-fish, until he made her to ask him forgiveness, -and promise him never to scold so again: -Having thus as he thought got an absolute conquest -over her tongue, he went quietly to Bed, where he -slept soundly, whilest she lay awake studying of -mischief. In the morning before he wak't she examind -his pockets for mony, the common tricks of -a great many women; but found nothing in them -<span class='pageno' id='Page_81'>81</span>save only some lath-nails; these did she take and -set upright all about the Chamber, which done -she gets a pail of water in her hands, and calling -aloud, commands him to rise, which he refused -to do, she throws the pail of water upon the Bed; -this so vext him that starting suddenly up, he -went to run after her, when his naked feet lighting -upon the lath nails, he was forced to slacken -his pace, being so mortified with them, that for -three quarters of a year afterwards he lay under -my Uncle’s hands.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But to return where I left. I had not been -long at the Trade, when my Uncle one day walking -down to <em>Wapping</em>, provided me of a master -to go to Sea, which (as I told you before) I was -fully resolved against, and therefore very peremptorily -I told him that I would not go, which so -incensed him that he vow’d that I should not stay -any longer in his house; I was the less troubled -at his words because the day before I had heard -of a Tapster in an Inn not far off that wanted a -Boy; thither therefore went I and profferd my -service unto him, which he as readily accepted, -and the same night was I entertained into the -House, he having heard the cause of my departure -from my Uncle, for which he rather blamed -him than me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now was I in my Kingdom having store of -company, and my fill of strong drink, which two -things I dearly loved. I applied my self to my -calling very diligently, and soon learned to cry -<em>Anon, anon Sir</em>, and <em>By and by</em>, with as much -alacrity as the best Tapsters Boy in Christendom. -My Master taught me how to nick the Canns, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_82'>82</span>and froth the Jugs, and with the crotched chalk -to score up two flaggons for one, and I quickly -found the way, when Company was drinking to -take away flaggons before they were half empty, -and full tobacco-pipes amongst the foul ones. -When Company first came in, I always observ’d -to bring them of the best liquor, but when they -were half drunk, then that which run on Tilt, or -the drappings of the tap should serve their turn; -if they found fault, I would take it away to change -it, but nevertheless they should be sure to pay -for it, as if they had drunk it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>One thing I observed of my master, that if the -Reckoning once came to above three shillings, -he would be sure to bring in six pence or eight -pence more than it was; then when the Company -were going away he would say, <em>Nay stay, Gentlemen, -& take my half dozen Cans before you go</em>, -which most commonly produced another reckoning, -the Gentlemen not knowing how to retaliate -his kindness without doing so, by this means getting -their mony, with thanks to boot. If Gentlemen -brought tobacco of their own, we would -say it stunk were it never so good, and feigning a -Cough as if half stifel’d, cry out, <em>Who is it that -takes of this stinking stuff? this is enough to suffocate -the Devil</em>. Which would make some Gentlemen -to throw away their pipes and say, <em>Pox -on this Grocer he hath cheated me damnably, come -give us three pipes of your tobacco</em>, which when -they have had they would commend for superexcellent, -although perhaps twelve pence in the -pound worse than his own, by which may be -proved that tobacco is nothing else but a meer -fancy.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_83'>83</span>I seeing my master cozen Gentlemen so frequently, -thought with my self that I might cozen -them also, or at least-wise cozen my master, who -so often cozened others, being warranted thereto -by that of the Poet.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Cozen the Cozener, commonly they be</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Profain, let their own snare their ruine be.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>And therefore when he was out of the way, to -the reckoning I would add a groat, six pence, -eight pence, or twelve pence, according as it was -in bigness, which yet I would also score up, lest -if he came in the way before it was paid, and -should tell the score; I might be mistrusted; but -if I received the mony before he came, then the -over-plus went into my own pocket, which could -not be discovered when the chalk was wiped out.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In Summer, when people drank in Canns, if -my Master were in company (as oft-times he was -invited by Guests to drink with them) we had a -Can with a false bottom that held not above a -quarter of a pint, which in the delivery of them -I always so ordered as that Can came to his -hands, which he would drink off leisurely, and -then turning the bottom upwards, it past undiscerned, -saving thereby much beer in a day, keeping -himself sober to drink in other companies.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In Winter for morning-draughts we furnished -our Guests with <em>Gravesend</em> toasts, which is bread -toasted over night, our plenty of Guests not permitting -us to do it in the morning; if we put any -of them into drink before our Guests (as sometimes -we were forced to do) we would be sure to -warm the beer or ale before-hand, and in putting -<span class='pageno' id='Page_84'>84</span>in the toast cry siz, although it were as cold as a -stone.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But my Master and I were not all the cozeners -that belonged to the Inn, the Hostler claimed as -great a share in that mistery as we. His chief -cunning consisted in tallowing Horse-teeth that -they should eat no hay; or when a Gentleman -gave his Horse oats, no sooner was his back -turn’d, but he would steal them half away, telling -the Gentleman, <em>his Horse must needs travel -well he was so quick at his meat</em>. If a Gentleman’s -saddle were any thing torn he would be -sure to make it so bad that he could not ride any -further with it without mending, as also to spoyle -the shoes on the Horses feet, that he must be -forced to have new ones, for which he had pensions -from the Smith and the Sadler.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Nor must I here forget the Chamberlain, who -deserved to be rancked with the foremost for Roguery; -he was a sly thief, and used to cheat Guests -with foul sheets, pretending them to be clean, -when as they had been lain in three or four times; -and then a little water strowed on them, and -foulded up and prest, made them seem as if new -washt. He was a very diligent observer of Gentlemens -Cloakbags, whether they had good silver -linings in them or no, which if he found to be -ponderous, his next care was to inquire what -Country-men they were, which way they travelled, -and the like, which having found, he gave -intelligence accordingly to a Gang of Highway -men, with whom he was in continual pay.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These were the Servants that belonged to this -Inn, such a parcel of Canary-birds as well deserved -<span class='pageno' id='Page_85'>85</span>to look through a Hempen Casement at the three -corner’d tenement in the high-way betwixt <em>London</em> -and <em>Paddington</em>. Were not those Guests well -blest think ye, which hapned in such a place where -none but knaves, thieves, and cheaters were their -attendants? Now you cannot but imagine that -the Master of such Servants was well worthy of -his place, I shall therefore only give you a brief -character of the Host himself, and so proceed on -in my discourse.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He seemed by his bulk to be of the race of the -old Gyants, and though his belly were not so big -as the tun at <em>Heidleburg</em>, yet a flaggon of beer -therein seemed no more than a man in <em>Pauls</em>. -He commanded with as much imperiousness as if -he were the great <em>Cham</em> of <em>Tartaria</em>, and had an -excellent faculty to strut along the streets with -the top of his staff bobbing against his lips, he -could call the young wenches whores with a great -grace; and when he took tobacco, his mouth -vented smoak like the funnel of a Chimney. He -much blamed the English for affecting to drink -wine, preferring beer and ale before all forraign -liquors whatsoever. To show his loving nature -he would drink with all companies, and would toss -off a <em>Cann</em> with celerity and dexterity. He would -not be jealous though he saw another man kissing -his wife, knowing such her familiarity to be the -greatest Load-stone that attracted Guests to his -house, in summe, his forenoons work was to scoope -in beer by the Quart, and the most part of the -afternoon to spend in sleeping.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In this house I wasted away my time nigh three -quarters of a year, but then a sad accident befel -<span class='pageno' id='Page_86'>86</span>my Master, which left me again to shift for my -self; he had belike been dabling in private with -<em>Prudence</em>, one of the maids belonging to the -house, I know not what the business was, but she -looked so bigly on him that he could not endure -her sight, and therefore to avoid it, he privately -put off his Cellar to another, and having received -his money, marched off <em>incognito</em>, leaving me to -the wide world; for this new Tapster having a -boy of his own, dismissed me to shift for my self.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_87'>87</span> -<img src='images/i_b_087.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. X.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The cheats of Cookes, a story of the Spirit in the -Buttery, he steals a silver Bowl, the Cozenages -of Astrologers; the death of his Father being -killed in a drunken brangling.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Long I was not without a Master, being entertayned -into a Cooks service, of which I -rejoyced not a little, being in good hope however -the world went, that I should not be starved in a -Cookes shop, one extraordinary priviledge I had -by living in this service; for if the old proverb -be true, <em>that the nearer the bone, the sweeter the -flesh</em>, then I always ate of the sweetest, my diet -being to pick the bones that came off of Gentlemens -Tables. During the time that I lived here, -although I had been a young wench, I should -not needed to have feared being troubled with -the Green-sickness, running up and down stairs -so many score times in a day would have cured -me of that malady; those who had seen my nimbleness -would have absolutely judged that my -shooes were made of cork, I was as light heel’d -as she who hath made her Husband Cuckold -seven and twenty times over. My Master drave -<span class='pageno' id='Page_88'>88</span>a great trade, not onely in boil’d meat and roast -meat, but also in baking small pies, which the -women cryed up and down the streets for him. -Every Friday I observed we had brought in a -Porters basket full or two of pieces of raw meat, -which though me thought they smelt very unsavory, -yet were they made use of, some minced, -others pepper’d and salted, and put into pies, ere -the week went about they all marcht off, I wondered -for a great while from whence this meat -came, at last I was informed by one of the Prentices, -that it was such pieces as were cut off of -the stinking raw hides, that were brought into -<em>Leaden-hall</em> to sell there on Fridays; bless me -thought I, what deceit is here! then did I think -on the old Proverb, <em>that the blind eats many a -fly</em>. No marvel that sicknesses are so rife, since -such unwholsome food must needs introduce -them. Now because those pieces of meat were -lean and dry, they used to mix with them such fat -pieces of meat as Gentlemen left, adding thereto -some dripping, and such like stuff, which altogether -made a gallant hodg-podg for hungry -stomacks.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To roast meat twice over is so commonly now -used amongst most Cooks, that I think I shall -not need to mention this as a rarity in my Master; -and yet would not that, nor what I mentioned -before, nor his buying of Carrion, such meat as -would have dyed alone had it not been killed, -being diseased or maimed, and selling it for good; -all this (I say) would not do, notwithstanding all -his great pains, but still he went backwards in -the world; which puts me in mind of a story -that I have heard some while ago, concerning an -<span class='pageno' id='Page_89'>89</span>evil spirit that haunts the houses of such persons -who use unconscionable wayes whereby to grow -rich, which though it be nothing as concerning -my life, yet I think it not amiss to relate the -same, as being not altogether impertinent to our -purpose.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In the City of <em>Bristol</em> (a place which may compare -with the choicest of <em>England</em> for the fairness -of the buildings, and richness of trading) within -the memory of our Fathers, there lived a young -man named <em>Francisco</em>, who although prentice to -a Baker, yet when his time came out, set up the -trade of a Cook. This young man was very desirous -to gain a great estate quickly, and so impatient -he was of being rich on a sudden, that he -resolved to leave no means unattempted which -should lye in his way whereby he might effect his -desire, for so he might gain, he stood not upon -what means whereby he might doe it; bad infected -meat he sold for good, nickt his Canns, -froatht his Jugs, scored up two flaggons for one, -yea what not? but all his endeavours arrived -not to that height which he expected, for notwithstanding -he went forward in trading, doe -what he could he went backwards in thriving. -This <em>Francisco</em> had a Priest to his Uncle, that -lived about some twenty miles off him, who had -bestowed some small matter on him when his -time came out whereby to set him up, and two -years being now expired, he repaired to his -Nephew to see how fortune had favor’d him, and -whether he had made any improvement of that -little he had given him. The Nephew entertained -him kindly, and feasted him royally, but -when his Uncle asked him how the world went -<span class='pageno' id='Page_90'>90</span>with him, he could not chuse but sigh, telling him -what endeavours he had used whereby to encrease -his estate, but that all proved fruitless. Ah Cozen -(said the old man) come along with me, and I will -show you the thief that steals away all your gains, -and thereupon taking him by the hand he lead -him into the Cellar, where when they were come, -they beheld a big fellow with a paunch like a -tun, his eyes strutting out with fatness, his thighes -like to mill-posts, so unweildy that he could hardly -go; there they saw him gurmandizing on the cold -meat that was left, devouring more in a minute -then six hungry plough-men could doe in half an -hour; after he had so eaten, he takes a flaggon -in his hand, and of the best beer, swallows down -five or six of them full one after another, which -being done he vanisht away; this Cousin (said -the Priest) is <em>the Spirit of the Buttery</em>, who so long -as you use unconscionable wayes by cheating of -people, hath power over what you have, which -he will so invisibly devour, that do what you can -for the gaining of an estate, it is but all in vain; -and therefore if you intend to thrive, you must -take a clean contrary course to what you have -done, and by dealing honestly, there is no question -but a blessing will follow upon your endeavours.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The young man promised very faithfully to do -according to his Uncles directions, who thereupon -returned home again: accordingly when his Uncle -was gone, he began to work a thorow reformation, -bought of the best meat, sold good pennyworths, -filled his flaggons, scored right, and dealt -justly in all his acting, doing this, he quickly begins -to thrive in the world, grows rich, purchases -<span class='pageno' id='Page_91'>91</span>house and land, and hath a great stock by him -besides; in so much that his wealth being taken -notice of, he was soon after chosen one of the -Aldermen of the City. His Uncle afterwards -comes again to visit him, to whom he relates his -change of condition, and how God had blessed -him with a plentifull estate. Now Cousin (said -the old Priest) let us again visit your Cellar; -when they came there, they beheld a thin, lean, -meager fac’d fellow, one that seemed more like -an Anatomy than a man; his ribs appeared -through his cloaths, his eyes were sunck into his -head, his cheeks look’d like to shriveld parchment, -and his legs (which were no bigger than cat-sticks -that boys use at trap-ball) were so weak as would -hardly support his body. He went to a platter -of cold meat, but had not strength enough to lift -it up to his head; afterwards he assayed to draw -some beer, but could not pull the tap out of the -fasset, so that seeing his endeavours were in vain, -with a deep sigh he vanisht away. Now Nephew -(said the old Priest) you may plainly perceive -what it was that hinder’d you from thriving before -and therefore now since you are thoroughly -instructed whereby to be rich, I shall take my -leave of you, wishing with all my heart that all -of your profession would leave off their cheating -and couzening tricks, and take the same course -of life whereby to thrive as you have done.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now, said he, what think you of this discourse? -is this quiet besides the matter or no? in truth -(quoth I), I think it is very pertinent to the purpose, -and I wish all tradesmen would follow the -example, for when they have done all they can, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_92'>92</span>they will finde in the end that honesty is the best -policy, and to deal justly the high-way to grow -rich: the best bed-fellow to sleep with is a good -conscience, and well doing (were there no reward -for it in the world to come) yet were it a sufficient -recompence in it self. But leaving this discourse, -as that which is rather to be wished for, than -ascertained to be practised in this evil age of -ours: let me entreat you to proceed on in the -discourse of your life, as a thing which I much -desire to hear.</p> - -<p class='c000'>That shall I gladly do, said he. Know then -that after I had been at this Cooks some small -space of time, my Father returned home from -being a Soldier, in that voyage he was prest out -as I told you of before; now though he did not -go out full, he returned home more empty than -he went out; without cloaths, and without money -to buy any; and which was worst so pinched with -hunger, that he looked like a scare-crow, or one -newly risen from the dead. It grieved my heart -to see him in this condition, but how to remedy -it I did not know; some little money I had which -was left of that I snipt in the Tapsters service, -which I very freely bestowed upon him, but alas -that was gone as soon almost as received, and I -having no more to supply him, he asked me if -we had no plate, that went about the house? I -told him we had; then (said he) to furnish me, -you must at such time as your house is full of -Guests, upon their going away convey a silver -bowl into a secure place, which you may afterwards -deliver for me to one whom I will send for that purpose, -for I will not come to your house my self, -because there shall be no suspition of me; I promised -<span class='pageno' id='Page_93'>93</span>him to do as he bid me, appointing him the -time when he should send the man, which was -the next day; accordingly he came and I deliver’d -him a large silver bowl, which he carried cleverly -away. At night when my Master came to lock -up his plate, the best bowl was missing, which put -all the house into disorder; my Master swore, my -Mistress scolded, the Servants grumbled, but who -to blame not any one could tell; onely the maid -said she saw it in my hand that afternoon, for -which I wisht her tongue in a cleft stick, but -stoutly denyed that I had seen it that day: indeed -my Master had a great conceit of my honesty -or else her bawling might have discover’d -me, for had they charg’d me with it strongly, I -should not have had the impudence to have stood -out in the denyal of it, having that within me -which strongly checked me for doing it. But -after some small inquisition about it, it was generally -agreed that some of the Guests had stollen -it away; then next was inquiry made what -several companies we had that day, and which of -them was the most to be suspected; but the more -they thought, the worse they were satisfied, not -one appearing more probable than another; -wherefore it was agreed by a general consent, -that the next morning the Maid and I should go -to a cunning <em>Astrologer</em> about it, one who was -cryed up for art to be little inferior to <em>Fryer Bacon</em>, -for though he could not make a brazenhead -to speak, yet he had such a brazen face of his -own, as could out-face the Devil himself for lying.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was not afraid to go, though I knew my own -guilt, because I always judged that Art to be a -meer cheat, and though they lay their nets very -<span class='pageno' id='Page_94'>94</span>plausibly to take the people; yet they seldome -catch any but owls and wood-cocks. Knocking -at the door, Master <em>Astrologer</em> came out unto us, -so wrapped up in his Purple Gown, that you could -scarcely see e'r an honest limb of him; he had on -his head a black cap with a white one under it, -which was turned up some part over the black -one, that it looked like a black Jack tipt with -silver. After we had discovered our business unto -him, he told us the price of his art was a -shilling whether he found out the thief or no; -we knew it was in vain for us to contend with -him, and therefore we very freely gave it him, by -which he perceived that the stars were very auspitious -to him in that hour, or else (for ought I -know) he might have gone without his mornings-draught. -When he had received our money he -very formally set himself down in a Chair, having -a peice of white paper before him, and then taking -a pen in his hand, he made thereon several -Triangles and Quadrangles, with other Crotchets -and Whimsies, which he called the twelve Houses. -Jupiter <em>said he being Lord of the Ascendent, signifies -good luck for the gaining your Cup agen, did -not</em> Mars <em>interpose with an evil aspect towards</em> -Mercury. <em>Now</em> Venus <em>being on the fiery Trigon, -denotes the party that had it lives either East or -West; and</em> Saturn <em>being Retrograde, and in the Cusp -of</em> Taurus, <em>it must needs be that it is hidden under -ground either North or South.</em> Then asked he us -if there were not a red hair’d man there that -day? we told him no, nor a black hair’d man -neither said he? we still answer’d no; nor was -there not (said he) a brown hair’d man there, -with grey Cloaths, not very tall, nor very low? -<span class='pageno' id='Page_95'>95</span>we told him yes; then asked he us if we knew him -or no? we answered no. <em>The</em> Sun <em>saith he being -ill posited in the eleventh House, and</em> Mercury <em>in -Trine with</em> Virgo <em>it was without all doubt a brown -hair’d man that had your bowl.</em> Then asked I -him if it might not be a woman as well as a man? -this put him something to his trumps; but when -the Maid said that could not be, for there was -never a strange woman there all that day, he grew -bold and answer’d, no; <em>for</em> Venus said he <em>being -weak in reception with</em> Gemini, <em>and the</em> Moon <em>in -her detriment, both Feminine Planets, does plainly -tell that it was a man, and one betwixt forty and -fifty years of age</em>. Upon my life said the Maid, I -saw the party that had it, he was a curld pated -fellow, with a whitish Cloak and a sad coloured -suit, about thirty years of age, he dined in the -half Moon, and had six penny worth of roast beef -to his dinner; but if ever I see the Rogue agen, -ile teach him to steal bowls with a murrain to -him. I could not chuse but laugh to my self at -the wenches confidence, and the cheat of the -Astrologer, and to think how poor silly people -are cozened by these Jugling Artists, for no better -term can I give them, as believing no truth -at all in their prædictions; for let me ask them -this question, whether the Stars do compel or only -encline? if they say they compel, they speak little -less than blasphemy, by ascribing too much to -Nature, and derogating from the Deity. If they -only encline, then what sure ground-work can -there be for what they say, when their conjectures -are but only probable? And for their Doctrine -of nativities, that if a man be born under -such a Planet, his destiny will be so and so, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_96'>96</span>he will come to such an end; we see oft-times -that in a battel, a Canon bullet kills five or six -at one instant, who no doubt were born under -several Planets, and yet come all to one fate; or -if they say it is possible so many might be born -under one and the self same Planet and aspects; -yet let me go further with them; we have known -battels at Sea, when by an unhappy shot a Ship -hath sunk in an instant, with six or seven hundred -men in her, who have all been drowned in the -deep. Will they say these were all born under -one Planet? verily if they should so say, I should -not believe them; therefore I may say of our -Astrologers as Cato said of the <em>Aruspices of Rome</em> -in his time, that <em>he wondred how one of them could -forbear to laugh, when he met with any of his fellows, -to see how they deceived men, and made a great -number of simple ones in the City</em>. But I tire your -patience with this digression, for I expect not -my words will work any Reformation in them, -seeing they may say with <em>Demetrius</em> in the Acts -of the Apostles, <em>that by this Craft they get their -wealth</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To return therefore where we left, having taken -leave of the Astrologer, away we went home agen, -fraught with a Sackful of news to tell our Master. -No sooner were we within doors, but the Maid set -her clack agoing; <em>Master</em> (said she) <em>the Cunning -man hath told us exactly who it was that stole your -bowl, he hath described him fully from top to toe, not so -much as his very shoostrings but he told us of what colour -they were of, his hat, his hair, his beard, his doublet, -breaches, hose, not one thing that he omitted. I served -the Rogue that stole it with Roast-beef my self, the Devil -<span class='pageno' id='Page_97'>97</span>choak him with it, for I think silver will not; but -if ever he comes here again, or that I meet him in -the streets, ile serve him such a trick as shall make -him wish he had never drank out of any thing in his -life but a wooden dish.</em> I said nothing all this while, -and though I knew she lied most abominably in -what the Astrologer said, yet I confirmed her -speeches, hoping this would forever take away suspition -from me of being culpable, only I thought -with my self if that party she imagined to have it -should come again to the House, what a coil she -would make with him; but whether she forgot his -Physiognomy, or that the man never came there -agen, I never after that heard any more of the -matter.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In the mean time my father had disposed of the -purchased prize, bought him an old suit with some -part of the mony, and ranted it in the ale-house -with the rest of it, for what is thus gotten over -the Devils back is for the most part spent under -his belly. At last his sinful life had a Tragical -conclusion, for one of his Comrades and he being -fudling together, they chanced to fall out, and from -words proceeded to blows, where my father recieved -such a knock on his pate with a flaggon, -that though it killed him not out-right, yet he survived -not long after; making his end answerable -to his life: for as he led a troublesome life all the -dayes he lived, so he put the Parish to some trouble -at his death, who were forced to be at the charge -of burying him.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_98'>98</span> -<img src='images/i_b_049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The abuses of Nurses, and keepers of sick people, -his Master dyeth, the knavery of his Executor -both in his trade and office: he lives with a Locksmith, -the knavery of that trade.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I was the less grieved for the death of my father, -knowing, if he had lived, he would have brought -me to the Gallows, for he would have been always -in want, and urging me to supply him, which I -could not do any other wayes than by theft; but -that now he was dead I resolved quite to give over -the practice of it, for fear in the end, it should bring -me to look through a hempen casement. And now -I bent all my endeavours to please my Master, -knowing I had few friends to rely upon; I was up -with the first, and down with the last, and refused -no work I was set unto, and I found the benefit of -my diligence at last, for it pleased God to visit -our family with the Pestilence, which in a weeks -space, swept away all the whole Houshold but my -Master and I. In this weeks time I observed the -abuses and cheats of Nurses and Keepers, such -who look to people who are visited with the sickness. -Two of these Jades we had in our house, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_99'>99</span>who when my mistris lay distracted with the distemper, -took away her keys, and ransackt her -Trunks, from whence they took a purse full of -money, most of it gold, which she had gathered -unknown to my Master, intending to keep it for -her further need, (or as we say) against a rainy -day. Thus these Jades convey’d away together -with a great deal of the best linnen in the house, -which was done by the help of the watch-man that -guarded the door, who was son-in-law to one of -the Queans, and now that my Master might not -discover their theft, they sent her of an errant to -her long home, by giving her drinks and other -slops, quite contrary to what the Physicians prescribed, -by the same way they dispatch’d the maid, -and the Prentices, with a little Girle, the only -Child my Master had; and now was none remaining -but my Master and I, whom they intended -should have followed after the rest, then they might -have plundered without controul; but I seeing how -soon my fellows were gone, and observing that they -all dy’d presently after they had received any of -their slops, would have nothing to do with them, -perswading my Master to do the like, affirming it -even before their faces, that they were the persons -that had kill’d my Mistriss and the rest, and would -if let alone, make a hand of us too. But these -impudent Jades hearing me begin to discover their -villanies, would have perswaded my Master that -I was also infected, and that it had already taken -my brain, which caused me to talk so idly, and so -began to seize upon me, intending to have ty’d -me into a bed, which if they had done I should -never have come out of it alive, but my Master -<span class='pageno' id='Page_100'>100</span>interposing bid them let me alone, for he himself -was of the same mind with me. These bold Queans -hearing him say so, one of them flew at him; you -old dotard said she, do you begin to talke idely too, we -must tame you yfaith, & so attempted to pull him -down, whilst the other was as busie with me: my -Master and I strugling with them what we could: -but perceiving them to be too hard for us (for -they were two stout Mastiff Queans) we got to the -window and cryed as loud as we could, and thereby -gathered a great many people together to know -what was the matter, to whom we related the great -danger we were in of being murdered by the two -women that were with us, desiring by all means, -that we might be rid of them, they being the -greatest plague we were infected withal at the present, -and whom we dreaded as much as death it -self; Amongst others that came (alarm’d by this -outcry) was a Shoomaker that lived not far off who -was near of kin to my Master, and thought himself -no mean fellow, he being at that time Overseer -of the poor, this man kept a great bustle, -commanding the door to be broken open, which -being done with as much imperiousness as a -Countrey Justice domineers over a hedge-breaker, -he commands the two women to depart out of -the house, which they (being conscious of a self -guilt) accordingly did, to the no little joy of my -Master and me, who fear’d we should have perished -under their merciless hands.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Being rid of these two Harpyes, I was more than -double diligent towards my Master, well hopeing -that Death with his beesom would sweep him away -<span class='pageno' id='Page_101'>101</span>also, which I judged the rather could come to pass, -because the thred of his life was spun out to a far -greater length than mine, not at all considering, -that the Pestilence makes no difference betwixt -age and youth; or if it doth, sooner seizes upon -youth than age, as having more matter to work -upon. But I was so confident that my Master -would die, and that I should live, that I would rather -perform all offices towards him, than to admit -of a partner to plunder the House with me when he -was dead. But three dayes being passed, and no -alteration at all appearing in him, I began then to -alter my opinion, and feared he would escape and -not have it at all; and therefore I began to cast -my wits about, and consider with my self, what I -had best to do; now I knew conceit would do much -with him, and therefore I first begun to tell him, -that he looked very ill all of a sudden, asking if he -felt no alteration in his body? which at first he said, -no; but afterwards upon my perswasions that he -must needs be sick, he soon grew conceited that he -was so indeed, in so much, that at last I told him, -that he had the perfect symptoms of a dying man -upon him; those words struck him to the very -heart, that without further delay he went to the -window, called for a Porter, and sent him for a -Shoomaker I spake of before, to come to him -presently, and bring a Scrivener along with him. -I asked him what he would do with a Scrivener? -but when he told me it was to make his will, I -was ready to swound, fearing he would take an inventory -of his goods also, and so hinder my pelfering -when he was dead, for I was now fully -<span class='pageno' id='Page_102'>102</span>minded to theive from him what I could, notwithstanding -my resolution but a little before to -leave it off, I feared to be known for stealing the -silver bowl: so hard it is for those that are principled -in wickedness, to leave off that vice they -have been accustomed unto; however I praised -him for his care therein, that he would settle his -mind as to outward affairs, they might be no hindrance -to his more pious thoughts, which now -should be bent altogether to Heaven-wards.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Scarce had I made an end of praising his good -intentions, but that the Shoomaker and the Scrivener -were come, to whom out of the window, he declared -his mind for the disposing of his estate. -First, he commended his Soul unto Heaven, and -his Body to Earth, which I wished had been -racked up in it before the Scrivener came. Next -(said he) for the good and faithful service he hath -done me, I bequeath to my Boy <em>Gregory</em> (for that -is my name) the sum of twenty pounds, whereof -ten pound to be bestowed on him in Schooling,the -other ten pound to buy him Cloathes, and put him -out to Apprentice to some Handy-craft Trade. I -hearing my Master to say this, could not but reflect -upon my monstrous ingratitude that I should -go to kill him that was so kind to me, and had so -much care for my future livelihood; but covetousness -cancels all obligations, and therefore is well -termed the Spring head of all ungodliness. Next -(said he) I bequeath to the poor of the Parish -wherein I live, the sum of five pounds, three -pound thereof to be laid out on Cloaths for them, -to make them apparel, and bestowed on such as -my Executor shall see most needful; and the other -<span class='pageno' id='Page_103'>103</span>forty shillings to be laid out in bread for them, and -to be distributed the next four Sundayes after -my decease, each Sunday alike till it be out. -The rest of his estate he gave unto the Shoomaker. -whom he made his full and sole Executor, giving -him a great charge to be careful of me, and so -having subscribed and sealed it, he betook him to -his bed, as prepared to die; and free leave he -had to go both of me and the Shoomaker also.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To hasten him on the more, I perswaded him -to sweat, which he was willing to do; so I covered -him with as many Clothes as he was able to bear, -and being in a violent sweat, he called for some -strong waters; whereupon I went to the Pump -and filled him a pint of such sober liquor as that -yielded, and brought it to him; which having tasted, -he asked me what I had brought him? I told him -it was excellent good <em>white anny-seed</em>, he said, it -tasted like fair water; I told him, that was only -the badness of his Pallet which could not distinguish -any thing; truly (said he) it tasteth so small, -that I think you may leave the word <em>anny seed</em> -out, and call it only <em>white-water</em>. Yet notwithstanding -this he found such fault, his parching -thirst caused him to drink it all off, which gave -such a sudden chill to his blood, that what with -that and some other slops that I gave him, in -three days time he turned up his heels and dyed.</p> - -<p class='c000'>No sooner was his breath out of his body, but -I began to put in execution what before I had -intended; and first I examined his pockets, wherein -I found the sum of fourteen shillings and nine -pence; eleven shillings whereof I took, leaving -some, that I might not be suspected to have taken -<span class='pageno' id='Page_104'>104</span>any, but this was nothing to what I thought to -find in his Trunck, which I opened with an expectation -to have mine eyes blest with the sight -of store of white and yellow pieces, but the clouds -dropped no such rain, the Trunk courted not me -as <em>Jupiter</em> did <em>Diana</em> with a golden showre; -some plate was in it, some Bonds and other writings, -but no money. This was a shrew’d cooling -card to my high hopes, which promised me Mountains, -and performed not mole-hills; for as for -the plate the Executor knew of each piece in -the house, and Bills and Bonds signified no more -to me, than meat to an hungry man which he -might see but not come at; wherefore seeing it -would be no better, I armed my self with patience, -considering I had not lost by his death, he having -given me twenty pound for the bringing me -up to some learning and putting me out Apprentice, -by which I hoped to be sufficiently able -to live in the World; and therefore having secured -the eleven shillings in the Coller of my -doublet (mistrusting my pockets might be searched) -I called for a messenger, and sent the Executor -word of his death, not bidding him to have -a care of frighting him in the delivery of his -message, for I did not think the sudden news -of his death would make him to break his -heart with sorrow, there was less fear in that, than -of a Usurer undoing a young Heir, when he once -gets him into bonds. He having received the -news, made no long tarriance before he came to -me, bringing a couple of old women along with -him to search the dead corps, that an account -might be given what he dyed of, which is a thing -<span class='pageno' id='Page_105'>105</span>that (you know) is usual. But before I proceed -any further (having occasion here to speak of -these searchers) give me leave to mention some -abuses and cheats which I have observed to be -practised by them.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They are indeed very necessary, especially in -great Cities, that an account may be given of -what diseases people die of, and that men may -not have their lives shortned by violence, which -appearing after their deaths, may be by them -discovered; but these women have their <em>Cheats</em> -too, for notwithstanding they are sworn to give a -true information to the Parish Clarks, yet money -can so blind their eyes, that if a man be poysoned, -they can bring it in that he died of the <em>French-Pox</em>; -and though a house be visited with the -sickness, yet if the Master thereof be unwilling to -be shut up for loosing his trading, if he do but -greaze them in the fist with some money, they -will make the Pestilence to be surfeit, and the -spotted feaver (which is little inferiour to the -Plague) the Swine-pox, and sometimes the Meazles; -nay once I know two of these Searchers that -for money brought it in that the party who had -the spotted feaver, dyed of nothing else but the -tooth-ach: Thus you see that it is an undeniable -maxime, that there is <em>Knavery in all trades</em>, people -being now grown so villanous in their practises, -that they make the very dead to be accessary -to their Cheats.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But to return to my story: The Shoomaker -standing in the street, whilest the women came -in, called to me, and bid me, if any of the Truncks -were open, to lock them up, and throw the keys -<span class='pageno' id='Page_106'>106</span>down to him; which I accordingly did, the fear -of loosing his Mammon making him to dispence -with any danger that might accrew to him by -taking the keys. That night was my old Master -buried, and a fortnight after (the Bedding and -Cloathes being aired in the mean time, and I continuing -sound) I was removed to his house, where -I took special notice of his great care in performing -my Masters will, and first for the three pounds -that was given to buy the poor Cloathes, he bestowed -the same on two suits for his own Boys, -proving it to be the will of the dead it should be -so; for (said he) they are poor who are in want, -and his sons wanting Clothes, therefore they were -to be reckoned in the number of the poor, and -policy bids us this, always to provide for our own -poor first. Then for the bread he ordered with -the Baker so, that for every ten dozen, he would -have a twelve penny loaf and yet were they made -fifteen to the dozen, which over-plus above twelve -he also took to himself, so that the penny loaves -shrunk to the bigness of half penny ones, and -only for the name there was no difference. I -seeing how he had dealt by the poor, thought -with my self that my Legacy would shrink also -like Northern Cloath in the wetting, and my -twenty pound, come to twenty shillings; but -whilst I had cause for my self, I would not complain -of his dealing by others, and therefore expected -the event with patience.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Soon after I was set to School with a fellow -that went in black Cloathes, and therefore taken -for a man of learning because so habited; this -man and his Schollars were both of one mind, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_107'>107</span>for he cared not how little he taught them for -their money, and they cared not how little they -learned for it; but I who had no friends to rely -on for bestowing any thing upon me afterwards, -resolved not to neglect opportunity, but to gain -what learning I could, thinking it might stand -me in great stead another day, and therefore I -so plyed my book, that in a short time I could -read English very perfectly, and had some skill -in writing and casting accounts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>During this time that I went to School, I plyed -not my book so altogether, but that I observed -some practices of the Shoomaker, both in his -trade and in his office; and first for his trade, I -saw he used two sorts of leather, one whereof was -called mens leather, which was strong, fast, and -would last well; the other he called womans -leather, which was not half tanned, and would -scarce last ten miles going; this last sort of leather -(because it was cheap) he used most, especially -in womens shooes, and the inner soals of -mens: and sometimes I observed that if the inner -soals were too little, he would slit them in -the middle to make them appear on both sides, -and at other times with his teeth he would stretch -his leather, as for gain he would stretch his Conscience. -Then for his office, for the bread that -was given to the poor at the Church on Sundayes, -he had a weekly fee from the Baker for -his custom; and for other gifts that were to be -distributed (as there was some Quarterly) that -poor man that received them, must either do a -dayes work gratis for him, or else present him -with some gift worth half of what he was to receive, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_108'>108</span>or else he was sure to go without it; so that -in respect of his office, these verses of <em>Withers</em> -were very applicable unto him,</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>The poor’s neglector, O I pardon crave,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Collector I should say, may play the knave,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>The fool I would have said, but chuse you whether</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>He may be both, and so he may be neither.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>But before I had been at School long, my -Guardian told me, the ten pound was out for my -board (for I paid a Roast-meat price for my diet, -although I fed most commonly on bread and -cheese) and therefore I must prepare to go to Prentice; -I thought it was in vain to contend with -him, and therefore bid him provide me a Master -as soon as he would, for I was willing I told him -to go. He quickly heard of one (for bad Masters -are as easie to be found as bad servants) one that -was a true <em>Bacchanalian</em>, a Son of <em>Vulcan</em>, by profession -a Lock-smith, what the Executor was to -give with me I know not, but thither I went some -few dayes upon liking; and indeed it was but a -few dayes I was there in all, for there was found -<em>Knavery in that Trade</em> as well as others. My new -Master had belike driven an old trade with pick-pockets, -house-breakers, and such kinde of people -whom he furnished with store of pick-locks, and -instruments to break open Shop-doors and windows; -he also drave a great trade with thievish -Prentices, for false keys for their Masters counting-houses -and Truncks, they bringing him the print -of them either in Wax or Clay, with some of which -he was sharers in their purchase. He had also his -<span class='pageno' id='Page_109'>109</span>Emissaries abroad, which would steal Iron bars -from Cellar-windows, and sometimes fetch a short -jaunt into the Countrey, and steal the Coulters and -Shares from the Ploughs, as also hooks and hinges -from Gates, which he bought for a small price, -and used to work them out in the night for fear of -discovery, yet all would not do, wicked actions -have bad endings; one of these Prentices who had -made use of him, and thereby much wronged his -Master, spending that money riotously which he -had got naughtily, his excess brought him to a -surfeit that occasioned his end, when upon his -death-bed, reflecting on his former vitious practises, -he detected my Master, who was thereupon -apprehended and carried before a Justice of the -Peace, that sent him to <em>Newgate</em>; how he sped I -know not, but if he had his deserts, I am sure he -could not scape hanging.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_110'>110</span> -<img src='images/i_b_074.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He is bound Prentice to a Taylor, the Knavery of -that trade, his Master of a stitch, he is turn’d -over to a Baker, who misusing him he runeth -away.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My next Master forsooth was a Taylor, a dapper -fellow, to whom the Shoomaker (because -he would be sure to be rid of me) bound me -Prentice the first day I went to him, after I had -been there a little while, whether it be the nature -of the trade, or what it was I know not, but all my -mind ran upon penny-loaves and pudding-pies; -& whereas before I was more given to drink than -to eat, now my whole appetite was for feeding. -If I went by a Bakers shop, oh how would I cast -mine eyes upon the penny loaves, wishing my -belly a Cupboard to contain such precious jewels; -neither could it sink into my faith, that there was -any trade in the world comparable to a Bakers, -but that which made me the more hungry, I conceive -was that we were much pinched in our diet; -for my Master made us observe more fasting days, -then were set down in the Kallender, and then with -a counterfeit zeal he would preach a long Lecture -of sobriety unto his Prentices, not that he had -any Religion in him (for at another mans table -<span class='pageno' id='Page_111'>111</span>he would gurmandize like an Epicure) but to save -victuals; and when we fell short at meals (as we -oftentimes did) he would put us off with an old -Proverb, that <em>many a sack is tied up before it be full</em>, -for his other qualifications and endowments, take -a brief view in this short but true character of him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He was such another as Sir <em>Thomas Overbury</em> -speaks of, a creature made up of shreds that were -pared off from <em>Adam</em> when he was rough cast. -His chiefest care was, how to cloath other mens -backs, and feed his own belly; how to make -them fine, and himself fat, against Christmas, -Easter, or Whitsuntide; he was a man of some -repute, but most time else like a thick Cloak in -Summer, hang’d behind the door. His offensive -and defensive weapons, were only a needle and a -thimble; with the first he murdered many <em>Egyptian</em> -vermine, and the last he made a Gauntlet -for the top of his middle finger, which at other -times jingling in his pocket with his bodkin, made -the Ale-wife to think he had mony in his pocket, -which caused oft-times a flagon to be scored up -behind the door. His chief upholder was the sin -of pride, a new fashion being to him like the Term -to a Lawyer; to gain which he used to frequent -those Churches and places where Gallants most -resorted, when on a sudden the Mechanicks wifes -and kitchen maids gowns came trowling in to be -new altered, for <em>out of the fashion, out of the world</em>. -He differ’d altogether from God, for with him the -best pieces were still marked out for damnation, and -without hope of recovery cast down into Hell, for -though he had many bottoms, yet his conscience -was bottomless. Of all weapons he most affected -<span class='pageno' id='Page_112'>112</span>the long Bill, and he who paid him but one half, he -would be sure to be no looser by him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>An ancient Gentleman one day brought a suit of -Cloaths to our Shop to be made, who that he -might have them the warmer, had bought two -yards of Bayes to cotton his breeches in the inner-side; -my Master thought that was too good for -such an use, and therefore took it to himself, and -supplyed the place with old painting Cloath. It -happened afterwards the Gentleman wearing -those Cloaths, going to <em>Islington</em>, as he went over -a stile, a snag or cleft of the same took hold of his -Breeches and rent a great slash or gap in them, -that quite discover’d my Masters theft; for right -against the hole, was the picture of a Devil with -a muck-fork in his hand, which made the gentleman -to admire how the Devil he should come -there; searching further he found more of his -fellows, and all of them with muck-forks in their -hands, tormenting of <em>Dives</em> in the flames; this -put him in a great rage, to consider how that by -the knavery of the Taylor, he should carry <em>Hell-fire</em> -in his Breech; ripping the other Slop, -there was the <em>Prodigal</em> on Horse-back, his journy -into a far Country, Hawks and his Whores, his -feeding husks with Swine, with his returning -to his Father, and the killing the fatted Calf, -wherefore in great rage he came to my Master, -calling him knave, thief, and a great many other -names, such as came first to his tongues end; -my Master desired him to be quiet, told him it -was stole off his Shop-board, but for his part, -he wish’d if he had it that he might find it in -the <em>Hell</em>, meaning the <em>Hell</em> under his Shop-board, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_113'>113</span>which was the receptacle for all stoln goods.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now those pieces which were condemned to -this <em>Hell</em>, were termed Cabadge, and we never -made any Cloaths either for men or women, in -which he snipt not some pieces from them; sometimes -out of a Suit and Cloak, enough to make a -Boy a payer of breeches, or a doublet, and sometimes -enough for breeches and doublet too. Then -we drave a trade with the Sadlers, for peices of -Cloaths to make seats for Sadles. The Cabadge -of course Cloath was to make dust-cloaths for -the legs of Country Plough-men, wollen caps, -and mittens for old women; all was fish that -came to net. When a Gentleman bought a suit -and cloak of good cloath, if my Master could but -perswade four or five more to buy of the same, -out of them all he would steal a suit and cloak -for himself. Then for womens cloaths, the cabadge -of cloath of silver, brancht Sattin, and the like, -went for pin-cushions, pin-pillows, womens purses; -and if black, Church-wardens caps. Cabadge -of Tabbee, coloured Taffaty and Sarcenet, for -facings of the hands of doublets, <em>&c</em>, when we set -on gold and silver lace, we should stretch it so, -that in four or five yards we would get a quarter -of a yard, which with old silver buttons and such -like stuff, went for ends of gold and silver; and -sometimes in rich laces we would rub them so -on our knees, that in eight or nine ounces, half -an ounce would come off, which went also to the -encrease of ends of gold and silver.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now being the Under-Prentice, my chief employment -was to run on errands, so that having -thereby an opportunity, I often visited the <em>Dagger</em> -<span class='pageno' id='Page_114'>114</span>in <em>Foster-lane</em> for pudding-pies, my mouth always -either peny loaf or pudding-pie fashion. Amongst -other places that I went to, one of the chief was -a Mercers in <em>Pater-Noster-row</em>, from whence my -Master received a small snip for every Gown he -helpt him to custom withall. Now their way of -dealing was thus; my master bought the stuff, -then the Mercer was to justifie that it cost him so -much a yard, perhaps eight or ten shillings more -in the Gown than it did, for which my Master -when he brought customers to him, was to perswade -them to the stuff, avouching there was not -such another penny-worth in the Town, and that -he was confident that he saved little or nothing -by it; but only for to gain their custome; by -which you see he who carries a Taylor with him -to help him buy Cloaths, carries a Thief in stead -of a Friend, for the Mercer and Taylor was both -agreed, and what the first says, the other will -swear to. Now to hear them muster up the names -of their stuffs, would make you swear they were -raysing so many Devils, there’s your <em>Parragon</em>, -<em>Burragon</em>, <em>Phillipine</em>, <em>Cheny</em>, <em>Grogrum</em>, <em>Mow-hair</em>, -<em>Damasilly</em>, <em>Novato</em>, <em>Pinckanilly</em>, <em>Pinckadino</em>, <em>Prunella</em>, -<em>Itiliano</em>, <em>Castiliano</em>, <em>Perpetuana</em>, <em>Sempiternum</em>, -<em>Tamme</em>, <em>Tammet</em>, <em>Tammeletto</em>, and a thousand -more besides, such as <em>Adam</em> never gave -names to, being more for pride than for warmth, -and rather to cloath sin, than to cover nakedness.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But ere I could attain to any perfection in the -Trade, my Master dyed of that which he lived by, -<em>the Stich</em>, being taken with it as he was contriving -a new fashion for a womans placket, that it should -be neither before, nor behind, nor on either side, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_115'>115</span>but before he could finish his project he was taken -with this <em>Stich</em>, so that that invention was utterly -lost thereby: now because he dyed of such a disease, -I muster’d up all my wit and invention together, -and made for him this Epitaph.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>A Taylor in this Grave doth lie,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Who by the</em> Stich <em>did live and die;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Longer his lifes</em> thread <em>might have been,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>But death with’s</em> sheares <em>came him between,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Wound up his</em> bottom, <em>bound his feet,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And</em> sow’d <em>him up in’s winding-sheet.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>My Mistress not continuing the Trade, I was -turned over to a Baker, at which I rejoyced exceedingly, -being heartily desirous to be dealing -with Belly-timber, remembring how I was full fed -when as I lived before with the Cook. Here I -found the Maxim to be still true, that there is -<em>knavery in all Trades</em>, for as my last Master theived -from peoples backs, so this robbed their bellies; -and was in one sort worse than a Taylor, for Taylors -commonly filch their Cabadge only from the -rich, who can the better spare it; but a Baker -by making his bread lesser than it should be, stealeth -it out of the poor peoples bellies, for doing -which he deserveth the same fate to attend on him -as did on <em>Pharaohs</em> Baker, viz. hanging; or at -leastwise to look through an oaken planck, and -shew the people a knaves head.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He would be sure to be in fee with the Clark of -the Market, and pretended great love to him, -though he hated him as his Executioner. By -this meanes he had always timely notice of my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_116'>116</span><em>Lord Mayors</em> going about, when he would be sure -to have his bread full weight stand at his window; -and if at any time he chanc’d to be catcht, oh -how he would repine at his forc’d charity, to see -his bread given away to the poor, hating Justice -it self for the <em>weigh-scales sake</em>, though it did the -Beggars as much good as their dinner, to see his -basket sent to the prison.</p> - -<p class='c000'>When we had any stale mouldy bread, such as -we could not sell our selves, or was returned us -again by our customers, we used to soak it in -water, and so mould it up again in our dough, -which in Summer time at four days end would -roap so, that if you pul’d it in pieces it would -appear as if it were all Cobwebs, which made us -always to sell such bread new. Now what other -<em>Knaveries</em> he used in his trade, I was not there -long enough to know them: for because I used -to forget to rise betimes in a morning, my Master -would remember me with a good ashen wand -which he always kept in store by him, wherewith -he would beat me as your Sea-men do Stock-fish, -in so much that my flesh had on it all the colours -in the Rain-bow, <em>viz.</em> black, blew, green, red, yellow, -white, <em>&c.</em> above all things in the world I liked -not beating, wherefore I resolved to march off, yet -before I went I purposed to be in part revenged -on him for those many blows he had given me. Now -so it was that he lay above stairs, and I below, and -when he came down, if he found me not up and -about my business, he would so rib-roast me, that -I could have felt no cold although it had been -frosty weather. Against that morning I intended -to be gone, I had parched some pease in the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_117'>117</span>oven, that they were almost as hard as leaden -bullets; them did I strow here and there upon -the stairs against my Masters coming down, and -so having put up my things, and made my self -ready, I staid expecting what the event would be, -anon my Master called me at the stairs head, I -heard him very well, but made him no answer, -wherefore he supposing I was asleep, was coming -down to give me the bastinado, when treading on -the pease his heels flew up, and down he came -tumbling from the top to the bottom, swearing -all the way he was falling, that this damn’d -Rogue (meaning me) intended for to break his -neck; I hearing him to thunder so loud, thought it -would lighten upon my Jacket presently, and -therefore to prevent it, I opened the door and -shewed him a fair payr of heels, leaving him sore -bruised with his fall, and more vexed that he -could not come at me, to revenge himself of me -for the same.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_118'>118</span> -<img src='images/i_b_118.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He serveth a Plaisterer, sheweth some cheats in -that Trade, he is even with the Maid of the -House for her sloath, and punishing him; giveth -his Master a fall from the Scaffold, and runneth -away from him into the Country.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I was now grown a good sturdy Lad, and it being -then the spring of the year, I was entertained -into a Plaisterers service, I imagined with my self -that there could be no knavery in this trade, but after -I had bin there a while, I found there was a great -deal of difference in our labour when we work't by -the day, and when we wrought by the great; in -the one I could not be too quick for my Master, in -the other he cared not how slow; dispatching that -in six days in the one, which we would hardly do -in ten days in the other; in the one we minded only -our work, in the other we used to lengthen out the -time with discourses of wenches, foot-ball playing -and such like; for so we brought the day to an end, -we cared not so much for our work going forward, -seeing our wages ran parallel with the day, and -when that was done, we counted our money due, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_119'>119</span>whether we earned it or no. In this service I lived -like a Prince to my hearts content, for my Master -would not only wink at any Rogueries that I committed, -but also countenance me in the doing of -them. When we wrought upon scaffolds in the -street it was a great pleasure to me to throw the -morter upon the heads of young wenches as they -passed by; and at other times with our whiting -to bespatter Gentlemens Cloaks as they walked -under us, that they looked as if the Crow had -shit upon them. My Master kept a maid who was -none of those huswifes that use to disturb other -peoples sleeps by their early rising; she would -endure three calls in a morning, and when she -began to stirre, she would groan sadly, stretching -out her arms and legs, and giving a two or three -ha’s to get upon her breech, where she would sit -in her bed half an hour lacing of her boddice, -and throwing of her coats over her head, -so that we were forced to put up the victuals we -carried with us our selves. My Master asked me -if I could not invent a way to punish her sloath? -I told him I would do my best endeavor; so that -day I got some Horse-hair and shred it fit for my -purpose, telling my Master what I would do with -it; at night when he came home, he sent the maid -for two pots of Ale, when she was gone for it, I -took my shred hair, and strowed the same in her -bed betwixt the sheets, which plagued her worse -then if she had had half a peck of six footed vermine -to her bedfellows; a good while she endured -it, being exceeding loath to be at the pains of -putting on her Cloaths, for she always accounted -the trouble of dressing and undressing her self to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_120'>120</span>be a great plague inflicted on mortals to disturb -them of their ease, accounting the Birds in a far -happier condition than men, who go to bed and -rise with their doublet and breeches on, and was -resolved if she changed her Religion to have turned -<em>Adamite</em>, that she might have saved that labour -of dressing her self; but the hair tormented her -so abominably, that <span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>nolens volens</em></span> she was forced -to rise, and sit up until the morning, when looking -in the sheets she found the cause of her disquietness; -the cunning Jade made no speech of it at -all, but was as pleasant that morning as if she had -ailed nothing all night; which made me to mistrust -my art, and think I had not done my business -right. All that day she was busied with her -thoughts in contriving mischief against me, the -result whereof was, that she took the sheets from -off her bed and laid them on mine, whereby she -paid me home in my own coyn, and whereof I -could not justly complain, seeing what was sause -for a Goose was sauce for a Gander. I had work’d -very hard that day, and would willingly have -taken some rest at night, but it was in vain to think -of it, I might almost have lain as well upon pins -and needles as on what I did, I then thought -upon the story which is usually told Boys when -they first come to be Prentices concerning their -enroling, that they must be rol’d in a Barrel drove -full of nails, with the points sticking up, and -thought this punishment to be little inferior to -that; flesh and blood could not endure it, wherefore -I got up and uncased my bed of the sheets, -creeping in betwixt the blanckets where I lay all -night. In the morning the maid asked me how -I slept that night? I told her very well, for my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_121'>121</span>skin was armor of proof against the biting of fleas, -or any other disturbance whatsoever, but though -I carried fair weather in my countenance, my -heart boyled in revenge against her, wherefore -that day I went and bought two penny-worth of -Cow-itch, which is a drug of that nature, that -where it touches the flesh, it will make them so -scrub seventeen times worse than if they were -plagued with the itch, with this I anointed her -sheets in the same manner as I strowed them with -horse-hair before; but if the hair netled, this -fleyed, she had needed to have had <em>Briarius</em> hundred -hands to have scratcht her self at once, for -when she came to be a little hot in her bed, she -fared like a mad woman; the more she scratcht -the more it itcht, so that by what she seek't to -allay her paine, she encreas’d it: the going out -of her bed would not cure her now, she carried -her distemper along with her, so that knowing -not how to ease her self, she bellowed like a Bull, -and made such a quarter, that the whole house -was disturbed with her bellowing. All night she -continued thus; in the morning I began to play -upon her, told her that the scratching of her arse -signified we should have butter cheap, and that -how ever things went she would be sure to <em>Rub</em> -through with them, but had I not took my heels, -she had so rubbed my ears for it, as would have -turned my mirth into mourning. That day was -very fatal to me, and my running from the maid -in the morning, prognosticated I should run from -my Master before night. It so happened that we -had some work to do that day at a tavern in -<em>Thames-street</em>, the back-side whereof adjoyned to -the <em>Thames</em>, which the Vintner would have beautified -<span class='pageno' id='Page_122'>122</span>next to the water-side; now for to make -him a scaffold to work on, he put the ends of two -long sticks out at the window, laying a board -over them for him to stand on the out-side; and -on the in-side fastned the end of the one with a -cord, but wanting a cord for the other, he bid me -to sit on it, thereby to keep it from kicking up, -thus was all things ordered, my Master gotten -up upon his scaffold, which was just over the water, -and I sitting on the end of the stick; he fell a -singing as he was accustomed to do at his work, -and I fell a nodding, being lulled a sleep with his -singing; in my sleep I dreamt that my old Master -the Cook was alive again, that I lived with -him, and that our House was full of Guests; by -and by some Gentlemen knocked in the next -room, I hearing them, imagined that I was called, -and thereupon cryed out, <em>Anon, Anon, I come I -come Sir</em>, and thereupon fell a running, when presently -up flew the stick, and down fell my Master, -crying all the way he fell <i>help, help, I shall be -drown’d</i>, the noise he made waked me out of my -sleep, when looking forth of the window, I saw -my Master floating like a shitle-cock upon the -water. I seeing what had happened, thought more -upon saving my self than him, imagining if he -were drowned, that I should be hanged, and therefore -that I might not die the death of a dog, to -prevent it, I run away, leaving my Master to shift -for himself, whom though yet I loved well, and -would not have parted from him but for this -accident.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I made great haste in going, and yet knew not -whither to go; East, West, North, or South, all -<span class='pageno' id='Page_123'>123</span>was indifferent to me, for it is impossible he can -be out of his way to whom all ways are alike. -<em>London</em> though large and populous I judged no -Coverture for me, I wanting those two great helps -of concealment, mony and friends. The Country -therefore I pitcht upon, invited thereto the -more, it being then the merry month of <em>May</em>, the -pleasantest time of all the year, the earth having then -put on her richest apparel, the meddow cloathed -in green, the fields beautified with flowers, and -the woods adorned with Violets, Cowslips, and -Primroses; the winged Choristers of the Forrest, -warbled forth their ditties very harmoniously, the -Lambs friskt and leapt, dancing lavalto’s on the -flowry pastures, and the murmuring stream made -a noyse like to a Chime of Bells, running through -their winding <em>Meanders</em>. As I walked thus in -the Countrey, encircled with pleasures, and every -where having my eyes satiated with variety of -pleasing objects, I thought my self to be in <em>Paradise</em>, -and imagined no pleasure in the world comparable -to that of a Country life; Happy, yea -thrice happy (thought I) is he who not playing -with his wings in the golden flames of the Court, -nor setting his foot in the busie throngs of the -City, nor running up and down in the intricate -mazes of the Law, can be content in the winter -to sit by a Country fire, and in the Summer to -lay his head on the green pillows of the earth. -The Country Cottage is neither batter’d down -by the Canon in time of War, nor pester’d -with clamorous Suits in time of peace. The -fall of <em>Cedars</em> that tumble from the tops of -Kingdoms, the ruine of <em>great Houses</em>, that bury -<span class='pageno' id='Page_124'>124</span>Families in their overthrow, and the ways of <em>shipwracks</em>, -that beget even shreiks in the heart of -Cities, never send their terrors thither: that place -stands as safe from the shock of such violent storms, -as the <em>Bay-tree</em> does from lightening; their sleeps -are secure from such dangers, and their wakings -as pleasant as golden dreams. In the homely -village art thou more safe, than in a fortified -Castle; the stings of <em>Envy</em>, nor the bullets of -<em>Treason</em> are never shot through those thin walls: -sound healths are drunk out of the wholesome -wooden dish, when the Cup of Gold boyles over -with Poyson. Hast thou a desire to rule? get up -to the mountains, and thou shalt see the greatest -trees stand trembling before thee, to do thee -<em>Reverence</em>, those mayest thou call thy <em>Nobles</em>. -Thou shalt have rancks of oak on each side of -thee, which thou maist call thy Guard, thou shalt -see <em>Willows</em> bending at every blast; whom thou -maist call thy flatterers: thou shalt see valleys -humbled at thy feet; whom thou maist term thy -slaves. Wouldest thou behold battels? step into -the fields, there shalt thou see excellent combats -between the standing Corn and the windes. Art -thou a tyrant? and delightest in the fall of <em>great -ones</em>? muster then thy Harvesters together, and -down with those proud Summer Lords when -they are at highest. Wouldest thou have <em>Subsidies</em> -paid thee? the <em>Plough</em> sends thee in Corn, -the <em>Meadow</em> gives thee her pasture, the Trees -pay thee custome with their fruit, the <em>Ox</em> bestows -upon thee his labor, the <em>Sheep</em> his wooll, -the <em>Cow</em> her milk, the <em>Fowles</em> their Feathers, -&c. Doest thou call for <em>Musick</em>? no Prince in the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_125'>125</span>world keeps more skilful musitians, the Birds -are thy Consort, and the winde instruments they -play upon yield ten thousand tunes.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus went I on contemplating the Summers -pride and the Earths bravery, and from them both -concluded the great felicity of a Country life, as -if the one would never fade, and the other always -endure; resolving in my thoughts never to see -<em>London</em> again, being ravished with the delights -of the verdant fields, and enamour’d on the beauties -of the Spring, accounting none truly happy, -but he who enjoyed the felicities of a Country -life; Is he addicted to study, Heaven is the -Library; the Sun, Moon and Stars his books to -teach him <em>Astronomy</em>, that great volume his <em>Ephemerides</em> -out of which he may Calculate predictions -of times to follow; yea in the very clouds -are written lessons of <em>Divinity</em> for him to instruct -him in wisdome, the turning over their leaves, -teach him the variation of seasons, & how to dispose -his business for all weathers, who therefore -would not consume his youth in such delightfull -studies, that have power in them to keep off old -age longer than it would? or when old age doth -come, is able to give it the livelyhood and vigour -of youth? who would not rather sit at the foot of -a hill, tending a flock of sheep, than at the helm -of Authority, controuling the stubborn and unruly -multitude? Better it is in the solitary woods -and in the wilde fields, to be a man among <em>Beasts</em>, -than in the midst of a peopled City, to be a <em>Beast</em> -amongst men.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As I was thus stricken into admiration of these -<span class='pageno' id='Page_126'>126</span><em>beauties</em>, and wholy taken up in contemplations -of the felicities of an retired life, being already in -my thoughts an absolute Country-man, I being -now some miles distant from the <em>Metropolitan</em> City -of our fruitful <em>Albion</em>, on a sudden the welkin began -to rore, and send forth terrible peales of -thunder, the serene sky was over-shadowed, and -<em>Phœbus</em> hid his head behind a cloud, the Heavens -began first to weep small tears, afterwards to pour -them in full Rivolets upon the thirsty earth, I had -then no Pent-house to walk under to keep me -from the rain, nor was there a red lattice at every -nook and corner (as at <em>London</em>) to give me entertainment; -the spreading boughs of the sturdy oak -were too feeble to defend me from being wet; I -looked like a drench't Mouse, having never a dry -thread on me; what to do I knew not, money I -had but little, friends none, a stranger both to -the place and people, unexperienced in the world, -as in the way where I travelled; the consideration -of those things made me add more moysture -to the earth by the salt tears that trickled from -my eyes; to stand still I thought was in vain, so -forwards I went wet without, and dry within, -(sorrow they say causeth drowth) at length I -spyed by a corner of a wood a little thatcht Cottage, -thither I went, and found by an old rotten -stick that darted out of it, in imitation of a Sign-post, -that it was an Ale-house; this something -revived my drooping spirits, so in I went, to dry -my out-side and wet my in-side, where I found a -good fire, and store of company of both sexes -merrily trouling the bowl about, singing of -Catches, and smoaking Tobacco; no sooner was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_127'>127</span>I entered, but one of them drank to me a full -cup, so down I sat amongst them, being all alike -free Citizens of the wide world, the strong Ale -soon washed away all sorrow from my heart, and -now that I had a warm fire to sit by, and a house -over my head, I bid a fig for all foul weather.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_128'>128</span> -<img src='images/i_b_128.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He lighteth on a company of</em> Canting Beggars, -<em>and is stalled one of their society, is married to -a</em> Doxy, <em>with the manner of their wedding.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>This company that I thus happened into was -a <em>Crew</em> of <em>Canting Beggars</em>, Pilgrims of the -vast earth, the offspring of <em>Cain</em>, vagabonds and -wanderers over the whole world, fit Companions -for such who make a trade for Idleness and -Roguery, and these were at this time fit companions -for me, who seeing the merry life they -led, resolved to make one of their company, -whereupon (after I had a little more ingratiated -my self amongst them, and taken two or three -cups more of <em>Rum-booz</em>) I imparted my inventions -to one of the chief of them, telling him that -I was a Prentice who had a curst Master, whose -cruelties had caused me to run away from him, -and that what ever fortune might betide me, yet -should not the most necessitous condition I could -be plunged into, ever make me to return to him again, -and therefore if I might be admitted into -their society, I should faithfully observe and perform -what rules and orders were imposed upon me.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_129'>129</span>He very much applauded me for my resolutions, -telling me that to be a <em>Beggar</em> was to be -a <em>brave man</em> since it was now in fashion for brave -men to beg. Do not we (said he) come all into -the world like arrant <em>Beggars</em>, without a rag upon -us; and do not we all go out of the world like -<em>Beggars</em>, without any thing saving only an old -sheet to cover us? shall we then be ashamed to -walk up and down in the world like <em>Beggars</em>, with -old Blankets pinn’d about us? no, no, that were -a shame to us indeed; have we not the whole kingdom -to walk at our pleasure? are we afraid of the -approach of Quarter-day? do we walk in fear of -Bailiffs, Serjeants and Catch-poles? whoever knew -an arrant <em>Beggar</em> arrested for debt? is not our -meat drest in every mans Kitchen? does not every -mans cellar afford us beer? and the best mens -purses keep a penny for us to spend?</p> - -<p class='c000'>Having by these words (as he thought) fully -fixed me in love with begging, he then acquainted -the Company with my desires, who were all of -them very joyful thereof, being as glad to add -one to their society, as a <em>Turk</em> is to gain a Proselite -to <em>Mahomet</em>. The first question that they -asked me was, if I had any <em>Loure</em> in my <em>Bung</em>? -I stared on them not knowing what they meant, -till at last one told me it was mony in my purse; -I told them I had but eighteen pence, which I -freely gave them; this by a general vote was condemned -to be spent in <em>Bouse</em> for my initiation. -Then they commanded me to kneel down, which -being done, one of the chief of them took a -Gage of <em>Bowse</em>, which is a quart of drink, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_130'>130</span>poured the same on my head, saying, I do by vertue -of this Soveraign liquor, <em>stall thee to the Rogue</em>, -and make thee a free Denizen of our ragged Regiment; -so that henceforth it shall be lawful for thee -to <em>Cant</em> and to carry a <em>Doxy</em> or <em>Mort</em> along with -thee, only observing these rules. First that thou -art not to wander up and down all Countries, but -to keep only to that Quarter which is allotted to -thee! and secondly, thou art to give way to any -of us that have born all the Offices of the <em>Wallet</em> -before thee, and upon holding up a finger to avoid -any Town or Country village where thou seest we -are forraging to victual our army that march along -with us. Observing these two rules, we take thee -into our protection, and adopt thee a Brother of -our numerous society.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He having ended his oration, I rose up, and was -congratulated by all the Company, hanging about -me like so many dogs about a Beare, and leaping -and shouting like so many mad men, making such -a confused noyse with their gabling, that the melody -of a dozen oyster-wives at <em>Billingsgate</em>, the -scolding at ten Conduits, and the Gossipings of -fifteen Bake-houses were not comparable unto it. -At length he that <em>stalled me</em> cryed out for silence, -bidding the French and English Pox to light on -their throats for making such a yelping; then fixing -his eyes upon me, he read a Lecture to me -out of the Devils Hornbook as followeth.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now (saith he) that thou art enter’d into our -fraternity, thou must not scruple to act any villanies -which thou shall be able to perform; whether -it be to <em>nip</em> a <em>bung</em>, <em>bite</em> the <em>Peter</em>, <em>Cloy</em> the <em>Lurries</em>, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_131'>131</span><em>Crash</em> either a <em>Bleating cheat</em>, <em>Cackling cheat</em>, <em>grunting -cheat</em>, <em>quacking cheat</em>, <em>Tib oth buttery</em>, <em>Margery -prater</em>, or to <em>Cloy a Mish</em> from the <em>Crackmans</em>: that -is, to <em>cut</em> a <em>purse</em>, <em>steal a Cloak-bag</em> or <em>portmantle</em>, <em>convey</em> -away all manner of <em>Cloaths</em>, either a <em>Sheep</em>, -<em>Chicken</em>, <em>sucking Pig</em>, <em>Duck</em>, <em>Goose</em>, <em>Hen</em>, or <em>steal</em> a -<em>shirt</em> from the hedg; for he that will be a <em>Quier -Cove</em>, a profest Rogue, must observe this rule, set -down by an ancient <em>Patrico</em> in these words.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Wilt thou a begging go,</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>O perse o, o perse o,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Then must thou God forsake</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And to the Devil thee betake</em></div> - <div class='line in2'><em>O perse o, &c.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>And because thou art as yet but a Novice in begging, -and understandest not the mysteries of the -<em>Canting</em> language, to principle thee the better, -thou shalt have a <em>Doxy</em> to be thy Companion, by -whom thou maist receive fit instructions for thy -purpose. And thereupon he singled me out a -young Girl of about fourteen years of age, which -tickled my fancy very much that I had gotten a -young wanton to dally withal; but this was not -all, I must presently be married unto her after -their fashion by their <em>Patrico</em>, (who amongst <em>Beggars</em> -is their Priest) which was done after this -manner.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They got a Hen, and having cut off the head -of it, laid the dead body upon the ground, placing -me on the one side of it, and my <em>Doxy</em> on the -other; this being done, the <em>Patrico</em> standing by, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_132'>132</span>with a loud voice <em>bid us live together till death did -us part</em>; then one of the Company went into the -yard and fetcht a dry Cow-turd, which was broken -over my <i>Dox’s</i> head in imitation of a Bride-cake; -and so shaking hands, and kissing each other, the -Ceremony of the wedding was over, and for joy of -the marriage we fell to drinking afresh, till we -were all <em>as drunk as Beggars</em>; but then to hear -the gabling noyse we made, would have made you -to have blest your self, to hear such a <em>Babel</em> of -confusion amongst us, some were jabbering in the -<em>Canting Language</em>, others in their own, some did -nothing but weep and protest love to their <em>Morts</em>, -others swore swords and daggers to cut the throats -of their <i>Doxy’s</i> if they found them tripping; one -would drink a health to the Bride till he slavered -again, some were for singing Bawdy songs, others -were divising Curses for Justices of Peace, Head-boroughs, -and Constables; at last night approaching, -and all their mony being spent, we betook us -to a Barn not far off, where we <em>coucht a Hogshead -in the darkmans</em>, and went to sleep.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_133'>133</span> -<img src='images/i_b_133.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Orders and Degrees of the Canting Beggars, -Men and Women, with their several qualities -and manner of life.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Though my lodging was homely, my bedfellow -pleased, yet though she were so young, -I could not boast of the purchase of her Maidenhead, -that being a dainty bestowed always on -the <em>Upright-men</em> (the chief of the Rogues) who -must have the first taste of such morsels, and then -are they free for any of the Brother-hood. The -whole night was spent in prigging, wapping; and -telling of drunken stories; in the morning as soon -as <em>Phœbus</em> began to dart some of his beams -through the Crannies of the walls, the <em>Patrico</em> -began to set up his <em>larum</em>, and to waken the rest -with this song.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>This is</em> Bien Bowse, <em>this is</em> Bien Bowse,</div> - <div class='line in2'><em>Too little is my skew.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>I</em> Bowse <em>no</em> Lage, <em>but a whole</em> Gage</div> - <div class='line in2'><em>Of this ile</em> Bowse <em>to you.</em></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>This</em> Bowse <em>is better than</em> Rom-Bowse,</div> - <div class='line in2'><em>It sets the</em> Gan <em>a gigling;</em></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_134'>134</span><em>The</em> Autem Mort <em>finds better sport</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>In</em> Bowsing <em>than in</em> nigling.</div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Tis better than</em> Peckidge, Plannam,</div> - <div class='line'><em>Than</em> Yarum, Loure, <em>or</em> Lage;</div> - <div class='line'><em>Then lift the same up to thy</em> Nab,</div> - <div class='line'><em>And</em> Bowse <em>off a whole</em> Gage.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>Being thus rowsed, and having shaken our eares -a little, the <em>Upright man</em> (who was the Bel-weather -of the flock) appointed out the station -wherein every one should go, prefixing a day -wherein we were all to meet again. My <em>Doxy</em> -and I had a particular walk assigned unto us, -wherein we were to travel, and not to intrench -upon any of the others limits; whilst I thus rambled -about with her, I learned of her the several -qualities and offices of the Brother-hood, and -how they were distinguished from each other according -to their degrees of <em>superiority</em> and <em>inferiority</em>: -the men were divided into these twenty -several sorts.</p> - - <ul class='c011'> - <li>1 <em>Upright men.</em> - </li> - <li>2 <em>Rufflers.</em> - </li> - <li>3 <em>Anglers.</em> - </li> - <li>4 <em>Rogues.</em> - </li> - <li>5 <em>Wilde Rogues.</em> - </li> - <li>6 <em>Priggers of Prancers.</em> - </li> - <li>7 <em>Palliards, or Clapperdugeons.</em> - </li> - <li>8 <em>Fraters.</em> - </li> - <li>9 <em>Quire Birds.</em> - </li> - <li>10 <em>Abraham-men.</em> - </li> - <li>11 <em>Whip-jacks.</em> - </li> - <li>12 <em>Counterfeit Crancks.</em> - </li> - <li>13 <em>Dummerars.</em> - </li> - <li>14 <em>Jack-men.</em> - </li> - <li>15 <em>Patrico’s.</em> - </li> - <li>16 <em>Irish Toyles.</em> - </li> - <li>17 <em>Swigmen.</em> - </li> - <li>18 <em>Glymmerars.</em> - </li> - <li>19 <em>Curtalls.</em> - </li> - <li>20 <em>Kinchen Co’s.</em> - </li> - </ul> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_135'>135</span>Of the Women kinde were only these six.</p> - - <ul class='c011'> - <li>1 <em>Kitchen Morts.</em> - </li> - <li>2 <em>Dells.</em> - </li> - <li>3 <em>Doxies.</em> - </li> - <li>4 <em>Walking Morts.</em> - </li> - <li>5 <em>Autem Morts.</em> - </li> - <li>6 <em>Bawdy Baskets.</em> - </li> - </ul> - -<p class='c000'>And now what these several sorts of people -are, you shall hear by their descriptions.</p> - -<p class='c000'>1. An <em>Upright-man</em> is the chief of all the Ragged -Regiment, he walks like a Commander with -a short Truncheon in his hand which he calls his -<em>Filch-man</em>; pretends himself to be a decayed Souldier, -and claimes a share in all the Booties which -any other inferior <em>Rogues</em> do get; he hath all the -<em>Morts</em> and <em>Doxies</em> at his beck, and can command -them from any other of the <em>Gang</em> at his pleasure. -By this description you see there is a great deal -of difference betwixt an <em>Upright man</em> and an -<em>honest man</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2 A <em>Ruffler</em> is the same in Conditions as an -<em>Upright man, like to like quoth the</em> Devil <em>to the</em> -Collier; they both of them pretend themselves to -be decayed Souldiers, are both of them very imperious -over the inferior Subjects of their <em>Common-wealth</em>: -receiving tribute also from <em>Rogues</em>, -<em>Palliards</em>, <em>Morts</em>, <em>Doxies</em>, <em>&c.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'>3 The next are <em>Anglers</em>, but they seldome -catch Fish till they go up <em>Westward</em> for <em>Flounders.</em> -The Rod they angle with is a staff of -five or six foot in length, having a hole bored -through it within an inch of the top, into -which hole do they put an iron hook, and with -the same do they angle at windows about midnight, -drawing therewith apparrel, sheets, coverlets, -or whatsoever they lay hold on, <em>All is Fish -that comes to Net</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_136'>136</span>4 A <em>Rogue</em>, whose very name doth show his -nature, and therefore he shall not need any further -description.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5 A <em>Wild Rogue</em> is of the same nature as a -<em>Rogue</em>, only this is the difference, that the one -falls into this infamous and detestable course of -life, either thorough laziness, death of Parents, -cruelty of Masters, or the like, the wild <em>Rogue</em> is -bred up to it from his swadling clouts, born a -<em>Rogue</em>, lives all his whole life a <em>Rogue</em>, and disdaines -to take upon him any calling or profession -whatsoever, but as he lives, so dies a <em>Rogue</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>6 <em>Priggers of Prancers</em> are Horse-stealers, for -to <em>Prig</em>, signifies in the <em>Canting language</em> to steal, -and <em>Prancer</em> signifies a Horse, the Farmers in -the Country, and Gentlemen that keep Horses, -know these sorts of <em>Rogues</em> too well, by dear experience.</p> - -<p class='c000'>7 <em>Palliards</em>, otherwise called <em>Clapperdugeons</em>, -who go alwayes with their <em>Morts</em> at their heels, -and to draw people the more to pitty them, with -<em>Sperewort</em> or <em>Arsnick</em> raise blisters on their legs, -which they can cure again at their pleasure. -When they come into the streets of a Town or -Country village, they divide themselves, and beg -one on one side of the street, and the other on -the other side; the purchase which they thus get, -they sell to poor Tradesmen, or other labouring -people, and with the money are merry at the -Bowsing-ken.</p> - -<p class='c000'>8 A <em>Frater</em> is one that with a Counterfeit Patent -goeth about with a wallet at his back, and a -black box at his girdle, to beg for some Hospital -or Spittle-house; he hath always a <em>Doxy</em> whom -<span class='pageno' id='Page_137'>137</span>he meets withall at night at some tippling-house, -where they lewdly spend what was given him in -the day by charitable well-minded people.</p> - -<p class='c000'>9 <em>Quire Birds</em> are those in whom the Proverb -is verified, <em>Birds of a feather, Rogues together</em>, -they are such as formerly sung in such Cages as -<em>Newgate</em>, the <em>White Lyon</em>, or some other Country -<em>Goale</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>10 <em>Abraham-men</em>, or a <em>Tom of Bedlam</em> is a man -whom by his black and blew arms you may see -to be much beaten to the world; he counterfeits -madness, and by many Phantastick tricks gets -from silly Country people Bacon, and such other -victuals as will fetch him ready money; he hath -but two names for all people whatsoever, and -that is <em>Tom</em> and <em>Bess</em>. No man shifts his linnen -oftner than he does his wenches.</p> - -<p class='c000'>11 <em>Whipjacks</em> are such as travel about from -town to town under the notion of Shipwrackt -<em>Seamen</em>, with a counterfeit licence to beg, which -licence they call a <em>Gybe</em>, and the seals to it <em>Jarks</em>; -their talk is all of Sea-voyages, but the end of -their Land-voyage is for what they can get, and -to rob Booths at Fairs, which they call <em>Heaving -of the Booth</em>, at which they are very expert.</p> - -<p class='c000'>12 <em>Counterfeit Cranks</em> are such as pretend -themselves to have the <em>Falling-sickness</em>, and by -putting a piece of white soap into the corner of -their mouths, will make the froath to come boyling -forth to cause pitty in the beholders; they -stare wildly with their eyes to appear as if distracted, -and go half naked to move the greater -compassion. These <em>Cranks</em> have likewise their -meetings, and their wenches at command.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_138'>138</span>13 The <em>Dummerar</em> is Cousin-German to the -<em>Cranks</em>, for as the one counterfeits the <em>falling-sickness</em>, -so this counterfeits dumbness, making a -horrid noise instead of speech by doubling his -tongue in his mouth, but if you give him nothing, -he can then open his mouth to curse you privately. -This <em>Jack</em> hath also his <em>Jill</em>, upon whom -he spends his <em>Loure</em> at the <em>Bowsingken</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>14 A <em>Jackman</em> is one that can write and reade, -yea some of them have a smattering in the <em>Latine</em> -tongue; which learning of theirs advances them -in office amongst the <em>Beggars</em>, as to be <em>Clark of -their Hall</em>, or the like. His employment is to -make <em>Gybes</em> with <em>Jarkes</em> to them, which are counterfeit -licences with seals, by which he gets store -of money to make himself drunk withal.</p> - -<p class='c000'>15 The <em>Patrico</em> is their Priest, every hedge is -his Parish, and every wandring Rogue and Whore -is his Parishioner. His service is onely marrying -of couples, by bidding them go together and multiply, -and fill the world with a generation of vagabonds.</p> - -<p class='c000'>16 <em>Irish Toyls</em> are lusty Rogues who go about -with a wallet at their back, in which they carry -pinns, poynts, laces, and such like, and under colour -of selling such wares commit many villanies.</p> - -<p class='c000'>17 A <em>Swigman</em> is a degree higher than an -<em>Irish toyle</em>, as a Tavern exceeds an Ale-house, for -he carries a pack behind him in stead of a wallet, -and is stored with more sorts of ware than the -other, yet differs little from him in honesty; they -both pay tribute to the <em>Upright man</em>, as to their -chief.</p> - -<p class='c000'>18 <em>Glymmerars</em> are such as travel up and down -<span class='pageno' id='Page_139'>139</span>with licences to beg, because their houses have -been consumed with fire, for <em>Glymmer</em> in the <em>Canting -tongue</em> signifies fire. They use a very sad tone -in their begging, and tell a lamentable story how -the fire destroyed their Barns, Stables, &c. by -which lying tales they get store of <em>Loure</em> to buy -<em>Bub</em> at the <em>Bowsingken</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>19 <em>Curtals</em> are so called because they wear -short Cloases, being of the same nature as the -Rogues described before.</p> - -<p class='c000'>20 The last <em>ranck</em> of this <em>Rambling Crew</em> are -termed <i>Kinchin Co’s</i>, being little Boys, whose -Parents were formerly <em>Beggars</em>, but are now dead, -or else such as have run away from their Masters, -and instead of a trade to live by, follow this -kinde of life to be lowsie by. The first thing they` -do is to learn how to <em>Cant</em>, and the onely thing -they practice is to creep in at windows or Cellar -doors.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus have I given you a brief description of -the men, by which you may give a shrewd guess -of the women; for you cannot imagine if the one -were <em>Devils</em>, that the other would be <em>Saints</em>, take -them therefore in their own Character.</p> - -<hr class='c012' /> - -<p class='c000'>1. Of this sort the first of them are called <em>Kinchen -Morts</em>, their Mothers carry at their backs in -their <em>Slates</em>, id est, <em>sheets</em>. When the <em>Morts</em> beg, -they use to prick these <em>Kinchens</em> with pins, that -by their crying they may move people to a speedier -distribution of their alms.</p> - -<p class='c000'>2. <em>Dells</em> are young wenches that have not lost -their maiden-heads, but being once deflowred, -(which commonly is when they are very young) -<span class='pageno' id='Page_140'>140</span>they then change the name of <em>Dell</em> into <em>Doxy</em>, -even as maids when they come to be married, -loose that appellation, and are called women.</p> - -<p class='c000'>3. <em>Doxeys</em> are such as have been deflowred by -the <em>Upright-men</em>, and are after common to any of -the Brotherhood. They will if they see convenient -for a small piece of money prostitute their bodies -to any that will deal with them, and do too often -murther those Infants which are so gotten. They -have one special badge to be known by, for most -of them go working of laces and shirt-strings, or -such like stuff, onely to give colour to their idle -wandring.</p> - -<p class='c000'>4. A <em>walking Mort</em> is one that hath increased -the world with Lullaby-cheats or young Children, -yet was never married; they are very dangerous -Queans to meet withal, being cunning in dissembling, -and without all fear of God and good laws; -and are kept in awe onely by the <em>Upright-men</em>, -who oftentimes rifle them of all that they have.</p> - -<p class='c000'>5. An <em>Autem Mort</em> is another sort of these <em>she-devils</em>, -and differs onely from a <em>walking Mort</em> in -that she is married; for <em>Autem</em> in the Canting -tongue signifies a <em>Church</em>, although that be a place -she seldom comes at. They commonly walk with -their Wallets on their shoulders, and <em>Slates</em> or -sheets at their backs, and will pilfer any thing that -lies carelesly about houses, which they call in -their language <em>Nilling of the ken</em>. Their Husbands -commonly are <em>Rufflers</em>, <em>Upright-men</em>, <em>Wilde -Rogues</em>, <em>&c.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'>6. The last of this <em>Ragged Regiment</em> are called -<em>Bawdy Baskets</em>, which are women that walk with -Baskets or Cap-cases on their arms, wherein they -<span class='pageno' id='Page_141'>141</span>have pinns, points, needles, and such like things -to sell, going thus from house to house, to sell their -ware; buy <em>Cunny-skins</em>, and steal what they can -lay their hands on, driving three trades at once. -They are very fair spoken, and will seldome swear -whilest they are selling their wares, but will lie -with any man that hath a minde to them. The -<em>Upright-men</em> and these are in perfect league and -amity one with another.</p> - -<hr class='c012' /> - -<p class='c000'>Thus have I briefly dissected to you this knot -of <em>Vipers</em>, who may very fitly be termed the <em>Devils -black Guard</em>. Whose whole life consisteth of a -continued act of all impiety, no sin within their -verge but is frequently committed amongst them, -especially that sin of leachery; to which end you -shall find sometimes together in a Barn forty of -these <em>Uprightmen</em>, <em>Rufflers</em>, <em>Clapperdugeons</em>, <em>&c.</em> -ingendring <em>Beggars</em> with their <em>Morts</em>. Adultery -they boast of, Incest they laugh at, Sodomy they -Jest at, being all of the Family of <em>Love</em> or Lust -rather, rope ripe, Nuts for the Devils cracking, -and fit fuel for firing for his Kitchen. But I have -dwelt too long upon this filthy subject, I shall only -give you a brief Character of a <em>Canting Rogue</em>, and -so return to the progress of my own life.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He should seem by his rambling minde to be -begot by some Intelligencer under a hedge, for he -is wholly addicted to travel, and hath one especial -priviledge above most Travellers, that he is -never out of the way. He is not troubled with making -of Joyntures; he can divorce himself without -the Fee of a <em>Proctor</em>, nor fears he the cruelty of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_142'>142</span>Overseers of his Will; for there is small danger of -his Children being cheated of their Estates, by -which means he makes not work for the Lawyers -after his decease. He leaves his Children all the -world to <em>Cant</em> in, and all the people to be their -fathers to provide for them. His language is always -one and the same; the Northern speech differs -from the South, Welsh from the Cornish, but -<em>Canting</em> is general, nor ever could be altered by -Conquest of the <em>Saxon</em>, <em>Dane</em>, or <em>Norman</em>. He -will not beg out of the limit prescribed him by the -<em>Upright-man</em>, though he starve; nor falsifie his -oath, if he swear by his <em>Solomon</em> (which is the <em>Mass</em>) -though you hang him; and to show himself a true -subject of their Common-wealth, he pays his custom -as truly to his Grand Rogue, as tribute is paid -to the Great Turk.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Spring is as welcome to him, as a warm -Bed to a weary Traveller, for then begins his progress -after a hard Winter; and the Sun which -breeds Agues in others, he adores it like the <em>Indian</em>. -<em>Ostlers</em> cannot endure him, for he is of the -<em>Infantry</em>, and serves best on foot; and if through -sickness at any time he ride, his stage is but to the -next Town, and that in a Dung-cart. He offends -not the Statute against the excess of Apparel; the -fuller of Rags, the more fashionable for his Calling; -and to go naked, he accounts but a voluntary pennance. -Forty of them will lye in a Barn together, -yet are never sued upon the Statute of In-mates. -He shifts Lodgings oftner than men shift their -shirts, and hath more change of <em>Morts</em> and <em>Doxies</em>, -than he hath of Lodgings. If he were learned, no -<span class='pageno' id='Page_143'>143</span>man could make a better Description of <em>England</em>, -for he hath surveyed it more exactly than the best -Cosmographer whatsoever, having travell’d it over -and over. Lastly, he can brag of this, that repairing -of houses will never undo him; and that though -he eats and drinks every day, yet he shall not die -one penny in debt either to the Brewer, or to the -Butcher.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_144'>144</span> -<img src='images/i_b_144.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>In prosecution of his begging, he steals a Hen, is -taken in the manner, and whipped, and imprisoned -in the Cage; from whence he escapes, -and assists in the robbing of a House, where he -gets a good Booty and escapes, but his Companions -are caught; one hanged, and two transported: -He hearing this, makes haste to</em> London.</p> - -<p class='c005'>It was then the Spring of the year when I took -this laze trade of life upon me; the harmony of -the Birds singing, and the variety of the Flowers -which beautified the verdant Fields, made me the -more willing to embrace this sordid course, not -thinking of a winter that would strike dumb those -winged Choristers, and invest the Earth with a -robe of Snow, in stead of all her painted Bravery. -Custom had soon habituated me to a liking of lodging -in straw, attracted the more by my amorous -Bed-fellow, and so long as I had my fill of ease, I -could well be contented to fast from Dainties. But -for my life I could not bring my tongue to the right -tone of Begging, although I were habited fit for -the purpose, with a dirty Night-cap loathsome to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_145'>145</span>behold, my face all smearen, my cloths set full -with patches upon the whole cloath, a red clout -upon my leg, and supporting my body with a staff -as if I had been a meer criple. Many a mile we -rambled, yet keeping still in our own station, -for fear of the <em>Upright-man</em>: but my counterfeit -plea for begging was at last discovered, and to all -my dainties I had whipping chear added; for -going one day not far off from a Farm house, the -stragling Hens invited me to have a throw at them -with my staff, and having struck one of them, I -had forgotten my lameness, but very nimbly ran -and took her up, putting her under my patcht -Coat, where I had a bag sewed in that was a receptacle -for all stollen goods. It chanced that -the Farmer himself was then on the other side of -the hedge, who undiscover’d by me, saw my activity -in the stealing of his Hen, and was resolved, -though I put it up, that he would not. But I -dreading nothing, thinking my self unseen, went -directly to the House, and as soon as I came into -the yard fell to my old trade, leaning on my staff, -and drawing my leg after me, as if scarce able to -stand, much less to run. Having gotten to the -door, I began to set up my tone with a <em>Good tender -hearted people be pleased to bestow your charity upon -a poor miserable wretch that is both lame and hungry; -one penny of silver to buy him salve for his sore leg, -or one morsel of victuals to put into his belly that -hath had nothing come in it this couple of dayes</em>. No -sooner had I ended my Maunding, thinking to -mump the Farmer out of some money, or at leastwise -some bread to my Hen, but he having watch’d -me now seiz’d hold of my arm, and told me, that -<span class='pageno' id='Page_146'>146</span>that though it might be true that I had not lately -eaten, yet he saw I was resolved to be better provided -for the future, and so turning back my Coat -discover’d my bag, where was not only the Hen, -but some other provant, I had lately purchased. -I finding my self caught, would gladly have given -him the slip, but some of his servants, as well as -himself stop’d me, without any more ado the <em>Harman-beck</em> -was sent for, who being a neighbour was -quickly come, and by this time I had a great train -of Boys and Girls to attend me: I needed not -much examination being thus taken in the manner, -but however they were all desirous to see my -sore leg; I was forced to let them do what they -would with me, knowing there was no remedy but -patience, and so I suffer’d them to unrowl and take -off the Clouts and Rowlers that was upon it, when -coming to the skin, that was as whole and as sound -as a fish; but though my leg was well and whole, -my heart was now almost broken with consideration -of what they would do with me; some -proposed one punishment, and some another, but -at length to the Whipping-Post I was led, where -my Doublet and shirt being stript off, my back -was so long lac’d with a Cart-whip, that I Caperd -and flownced like a Horse in a quagmire, and I -was as fast too, being hand cuffd so that I could -not stir. It was well it was the spring time, for I -lost blood enough to purge away the gross humors -without the help of a Surgeon, that office being -supplyd by a Thrasher who took as much pains -upon me as would have Thrash’d a bushel of -Pease; but at length there was a Cessation, -and a new parlee began, wherein it was propounded -<span class='pageno' id='Page_147'>147</span>that further course should be taken with -me, and considering that there was a kind of Felony -committed upon the Hen; they advis’d and -agreed to lead me to the next Justice of the peace -to have his Judgement in the Case, though I -thought it unreasonable to suffer punishment first, -and then to be Judged; yet it was to no purpose -to complain, and all I could say would not prevail -with them to let me go, but they would conduct -me to the Justice, so that I having put on my -Cloaths my shirt stuck to my back and made me -sensible that I had lost leather; but for all that -on I must, and the Justice living a mile off, the -Thrasher who had lash’d me, and two or three -others made holliday to attend me: when we -came before the Justice, he hearing that I had -been punished already, was content at my Importunity -to acquit me from any other, and only -to make a Pass to send me home to <em>London</em>, being -the place where I told them I was born: I not -having power to contradict, was forced to consent -to what was commanded, and that Constable attending -me out of his liberties to another Constable, -left me: this new Constable, who now had -me in keeping, not being willing to go further -with me; for that night put me up in the Cage, -where I was lock’d up, but not so safely, but I -made shift to break out, and travelling all night, -by the next morning I was far enough off for them -to o'retake me, for all that day I concealed my -self in a wood, and when night came I proceeded -on my Journey; but it so happened that on the -second night of my travel, about midnight I -was overtaken by three persons who demanded -<span class='pageno' id='Page_148'>148</span>where I was going? I told them any whither: -what was I? I replied a wretched person whom -fortune had persecuted, and therefore I was indifferent -whether I went, or what I did. Hearing me -say so, they retired a little to consult about their -affairs, and then one of them coming up to me, -demanded several questions of me of my late -course of life? To all their questions I returned -them such answers as caused them to conclude -me to be a Rambler, and therefore fit for their -society, and therefore they asked me if I were -willing to hazard my self in enterprizing somewhat, -that though it might be something dangerous, yet -it should be very profitable. To this I answered, -that they should soon find my willingness expressed -in the boldness of my actions, and if seconded or -assisted by them, I should act anything they would -direct and appoint.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They hearing my resolution, soon consented to -admit me into their society, and acquainted me -with their present purpose, which was to rob a -House not far from that place: They told me -that I must be valiant and bold, not in fighting, -for they knew they should meet with little -occasion to exercise any weapon, but in entring -the House, and performing other such matters -as they should instruct me in. I told them I -consented to what they should propose, and -therefore desired them to tell me what part I was -to act in this Enterprize, and as for a part of the -purchase, I should leave that to them, which -I desired them to give me as I should deserve. -Then one of these persons told me, that he -was very well acquainted in the house, and gave -<span class='pageno' id='Page_149'>149</span>me an account of the several ways and passages -into every Room, and who was lodged in such -Chambers. In fine, I discovered that there was -but two men, and three women-kind in the house, -and he being a Coach-man, had lately brought -the Master of the house home with two hundred -pound, of which he had a desire to rob him; and -therefore had joyned these two persons with him -in the Confederacy. Being thus instructed, we -proceed, and arriving at the house, I was put in -at a window, and directed how to open the doors, -which I did, the Coach-man stayed below stairs, -and we other three by his directions went up into -the Chambers; the doors we soon opened, and -coming to the Bed-side where the Master of the -house and his Wife was, we drawing our swords -(for I had the Coach-mans delivered to me) -opened our dark Lanthorns, and seeing the man -and woman, without many words we bound and -gagg’d them; and they leaving me to watch them, -went into the other Chambers to do the like to -the rest: I being left alone in this Room was not -idle, but rummaged about, and found a Gold -Watch, a few Rings, and twenty Pieces of Gold, -these I secured for my self, and soon after my -Companions returned; when taking the Keys -out of the Gentlewomans pocket, we soon found -what we came for, the two hundred pound, and -so marched off without any stay, or the least interruption: -the Coach-man stayed below in the -Hall, where he had made a strict search, and had -likewise plundred something from thence which -after turned little to his profit: but we all left the -house with the doors open, and marched with the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_150'>150</span>spoils of the field, bag and baggage, to a house -about a mile distant, where they were so courteous -as to give me fifteen pound out of the profits -of their Adventure. I (being sensible that I was -well enough paid, in regard of the Gold and other -things I had conceal’d) thankfully received it, and -so left them, marching on further to the next great -Town, where the next day I understood a great -Fair was to be kept, and therefore I thought that -place the most fitting to conceal my self in, and be -freest from suspition, I got in a Barn and rested -my self, taking some sleep; but was much disturbed, -being in great fear lest some mis-fortune might -befall me: And to the end that I might be the freer -from suspect, in case of a <em>Hue and Cry</em>, I went to a -Sales-mans Booth which was in the Fair, and furnish’d -me with a Sad-coloured Sute and Cloak, Citizen-like, -that I might pass for such a one if occasion -were; my old Cloathes I left behind me in the -Barn where I stripped my self. Thus did I escape -all danger, but my Companions fared worse than -I, for the covetous Coach-man not having any -thing else whereon to exercise himself, stole a -Looking-glass which was below stairs, while we -were above, and to conceal it from the rest of his -Companions, put it in his Codpiece. When they -had sufficiently stayed at the house where I left -them, and had shared the prize, they went to go -homewards, but being flustred with the Bottles of -Wine they had for joy drank off, they made it -so long, that it was seven of the Clock in the morning -ere they parted, and then were they overtaken -by the <em>Hue and Cry</em>, with a Constable, who though -he knew the Coach-man very well, and did not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_151'>151</span>suspect him, yet seeing him and his two Companions -so flustred, and somewhat to hang out at the -knees of the Coach-man’s Breeches, they made -some stay, asking whether he had lately been at -some Wedding and had Bride-Laces, which he -had put in his Breeches. The Coach-man being -somewhat blank’d at this discovery, knew not -what answer readily to return: This caused them -to examine him who they were that were his -Companions, and where they had been? They -were all now deeplier surprized than before, which -gave so great suspition that occasioned a Search, -and in the end they found what they sought for, -(the Money:) and that which hung out at the -Coach-mans Breeches, were some Ribbons that -were fastned to the Looking-glass. Upon this -Discovery they were all Apprehended, carried -before a Justice, and upon examination being -found directly guilty, committed to Goal. This -did I hear of at the Fair that afternoon as I was -drinking in a Booth: At the recital of this story, -if any one had observed me, they might easily -have conjectured that I was concerned therein; -for I was possessed with so much fear, that I look’d -like one rather dead than alive: but there was no -occasion to suspect me, for the three others my -Companions being taken and with them the greatest -part of the money, there was no occasion to -make any further enquiry. Then did I bless my -good fortune that I had left them so suddenly, -and was so much out of danger, and that evening -I proceeded further on in my way towards <em>London</em>; -but being well furnished with Silver and -Gold, I took up my Quarters in a very good Inn, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_152'>152</span>where I had a good Supper and soft Bed, and slept -very well, considering the trouble I was in. At -this Inn I stayed several days to hear what would -become of my Companions, for the Assizes were -then at hand. I received this satisfaction, that -they being Tryed, were all cast for their Lives; -the Coach-man hang’d, and the other two were -to be transported. This was the end of my piece -of Thievery, and I did then resolve never to hazard -my self again in such matters, lest I came -off with as bad success as the Coach-man. I stayed -so long in this Inn, pretending to wait the coming -of a sister of mine, that one day who should arrive -there but the Maid-servant who lived with -the Plaisterer I had served, and as I suppose was -the cause of his drowning: now was I in greater -fear than before, for I had lately escaped hanging -for theft, and now expected it for murther; and -I knew that this wench was malicious enough -against me, and would rather injure me by her exclamations, -than secure me by her silence; I therefore -intended to give her the go-by, but could -not, for she had now cast her eye upon me and -discovered me, and came straight up to me to -speak with me. How now, says she, you have -made a fair Ramble! Is it not time to return? -Well, said I, be silent a little, and let me speak -with you in private; and thereupon taking her by -the hand, I led her into a private room, where -calling for some drink, I enquired of her how all -our Friends did, and more particularly for my -Master. Why, said she, you know well enough -that he is dead. At this word I was more dead -<span class='pageno' id='Page_153'>153</span>than alive, neither was I for the present able to -ask her any more questions.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Drink being brought in, she drank to me; -Well, said she, however I am glad to see you here; -so am not I (thought I:) but recovering my lost -senses, I demanded of her how long my Master -had been dead. She replyed, a fortnight. Nay, -thought I, then the Case is not so bad as I suspected, -and therefore I proceeded in questioning -of her how he died, and many other questions. -She answered, that he died of a Feaver, which -kept him not above fourteen days sick; and he -being dead, she was now returning into the Country -to visit her Friends.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now was I fully satisfied that I needed not -fear any danger, wherefore I called for a Bottle -of Canary, which we drank off; and she related -to me that he was not much hurt by the fall that -I gave him, for he went again to work the next -day, and had made much enquiry after me, but -as yet in vain. I told her that I indeed doubted -that he had been drowned by the fall which he -had received into the water, and therefore had -absented my self ever since from <em>London</em>, wandering -up and down in several Disguises: But, -said I, I will now go to <em>London</em> again, but never -to serve out my Time at that Trade; for if I -come upon a Scaffold again, I shall be much -frighted with the remembrance of that Disaster. -She told me, that now indeed I was free to dispose -of my self since my Master was dead, and -might chuse my Trade and Master.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did we spin out several hours of that day -and night together, till it was time to go to Bed, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_154'>154</span>and then we parted; she the next morning proceeded -in her Journey into the Countrey, and I -pursuing my resolutions of going to <em>London</em>, likewise -went forward. But by the way met with an -Adventure, which I shall relate to you in the -next Chapter.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_155'>155</span> -<img src='images/i_b_074.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XVII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>In his Journey to</em> London, <em>he overtakes a Trooper -and a Wench: he lyes with her and two more of -her Companions, and after this frollick he goes -with them all to</em> London.</p> - -<p class='c005'>I was now resolved nothing should hinder me -from proceeding in my Journey to <em>London</em>, -and that I might get thither the sooner, I endeavoured -to borrow a horse, but could not procure -one, I being a stranger, every person was unwilling -to trust me: but at noon-day staying for a bait, I -happened into the company of a Trooper, who -was likewise travelling to <em>London</em>; we dined together, -and he asking whither I was going? I told -him: he said he should be glad of my company. -I said, that would be very pleasing to me if I -might enjoy his; but I could not because he was -better furnish’d for a Journey than I, being provided -with a horse, and I on foot: he told me -that inconveniency might be supplyed, for there -were horses in the stable to be let. I told him that -I would give any consideration for the hire of one, -and that he, if acquainted, might do me much -kindness in procuring one for me: he seeing me -<span class='pageno' id='Page_156'>156</span>full of money, quickly procured me a horse, engaging -himself that I should leave the beast at his -<em>London</em> quarters. My host being well acquainted -with him, and he being to ride along with me, -was contented: and I paying five shillings for his -hire, had the horse deliver’d to me, and on his -back I mounted, thinking my self to be some -brave fellow: As we rid along together, we overtook -a female Creature, young and handsom, in -somewhat an ancient decayed, but Gentile garb. -The Trooper being a notable well experienced -blade, soon fell into discourse with her, and found -her to be a Rambling Baggage, whose journey -was now intended for <em>London</em>, and would be glad -of our company, were she accommodated with a -horse: to that I offered her my service, and agreed -that she should ride behind me; to which she assenting, -soon mounted, and now we merrily put -on, holding a pleasing discourse with our female -companion. I had a great desire to take a better -view of her than I could, being thus on hors-back -together, and therefore perswaded the Trooper -to make a halt at the next Town which we came -to, where we all dismounted, and I saluted my -Lady, who kindly received my Courtesie. The -Trooper after some discourse, was well enough -acquainted with the Lady, having often times -been merry with her, and others, at the house -where she lodged in <em>London</em>. He call’d me on -one side, and told me, that she was a person with -whom he had been formerly acquainted, and so -might I too, if I would, and if I had any desire -thereto, he could and would assist me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I told him he had done me many kindnesses in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_157'>157</span>the small time of my acquaintance, and now he -had offered that which exceeded all; for indeed -I was much taken with her beauty, and very desirous -I was to enjoy her.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Well, said he, let us be going from hence, and -make you your bargain with her as you ride along -by the way, and I will take such care in the business -that you shall be entertained as man and wife -at my quarters, and there lie together. I was infinitely -glad of this his kind proffer, and thankfully -accepted thereof, and so after some little -longer stay, we again mounted our steeds and put -forwards: according to his instruction I courted -my Mistress, and without much difficulty obtained -her promise to permit me to lie with her, and so we -rid on till we arrived at the Troopers quarters, -where he told his Landlady, that he had brought -her some guests; for this young man and his wife, -(said he) pointing to us, will stay here all night: -they shall be welcom, said the Hostess, and so -a supper was provided; for as we did eat and -drink with a very good appetite, and my Landlady -did accompany us, who I found was very -well respected, and familiar with the Trooper; -and bed-time being come, which I had much -desired, I and my Lady went to bed, neither -did the Trooper lie alone, for our Landlady was -his bed-fellow; how he spent the night I know -not, but I am sure for our parts we slept but little, -for it was the first time that I ever enjoy’d a woman -naked in my arms all night, and I was ravished -with delight, never having had so much -pleasure. My bed-fellow was well enough contented -with the entertainment I gave her; we -<span class='pageno' id='Page_158'>158</span>discoursed of one anothers fortunes, but whether -she told me the truth of hers, I know not, but I -disguised mine wholly from her, not thinking it fit -to make her acquainted with my late adventures; -she told me, that the occasion of her late travel -was this, that she and two women more of her acquaintance -had been perswaded by three Gentlemen -to a Ramble, and had gone down to such a -City in a Coach, that they had for some time continued -together as three men and wives at an Inn, -and there had enjoyed a full plenty of every thing; -but at length the three Gentlemen had basely -left them to pay a great reckoning in a strange -place, and all they had would not make the one -half of it, that they had for some time waited in -expectation of the return of their friends, but in -vain, so that at last it was agreed, that one of us, -said she, should go for <em>London</em>, and procure mony -to redeem the rest, and the lot falling on me I -have prosecuted the journey, and hopes to raise -money to relieve, and redeem my companions. I -hearing this story was sensibly troubled thereat, -and offered her my assistance, and she so far prevail’d -with me, that I lent her five pound to send -to her companions, she promising me to continue -either there, or at any other place with me so -long as I should please, and at our coming to -her quarters at <em>London</em>, to repay me my mony -with many thanks. To all this I agreed, and the -next day she conveyed most part of the mony to -her companions by a Coach that travelled thither: -and thus did I enjoy this Lady for many nights -together, and lying at Rack and Manger: the -horse I sent back at the directions of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_159'>159</span>Trooper, who likewise continued with his Hostess, -and only my purse paid for all; but indeed we -lived sparingly enough, the Trooper being one of -the honestest Travellers that I ever met with. -The Coach-man who carried the money to the -afflicted and distressed Damoyselles, returned, and -with him the Ladies, very glad of their safe return, -and very thankful were they, not only to -their companions who sent it, but also to me of -whom, she said, she procured it, and now we all -thought of removeing to <em>London</em>, but one night -more we lay at our old quarters, where I had the -greatest frollick I was ever guilty of, for that night -I kist with all three of the women, and pleased them -round, by giving each of them a tryal of my skill. -What now could I desire to enjoy further? I -thought my self to be as brave a fellow as the great -Turk in his <em>Seraglio</em>, he having but his choice of -Women, which I now enjoyed to my full content. -But morning coming, we took leave of our Hostess -and the Trooper, and all four taking Coach, -soon came to <em>London</em>, where I took up my -Quarters with my three Damsels, who made very -much of me, and indeed they were the honestest -Wenches, and I had the best frollick that I ever -had in my life, but in time I was weary of this -life, for what man can last out alwayes? And I -finding my pocket begin to shrink, bethought -me that it was fit to leave off in time, for all my -Silver was gone, and ten pound of my twenty -pound in Gold: but I selling my Watch and Rings -raised ten pound more; with this stock of twenty -pound I was resolved to retire, and fit my self -for some employment. My three Ladies never -<span class='pageno' id='Page_160'>160</span>offered to return me the five pound I had lent -them, neither indeed could I handsomly expect -it; for they had been very liberal in their expences, -and had declined all other company to accommodate -me. They heard of their three Gentlemen -who had trapan’d them in the Country, and -so wisely plaid their Cards that they gained all -their money again, I assisting them, and pretending -the man of the house had assigned the money -to me. I scorned to pocket any of it, but gave -it amongst them; and so being resolved to take -another course of life, I retired my self from them: -and to the end that I might be fitted for an employment, -I hired one who was well known therein, -to teach me to write more perfectly than I could -formerly, as also Arithmatick: I likewise hired -several Books of a Stationer, for which I gave him -so much <em>per</em> week; These being chiefly Knight-Errantry -and Romances, I took much pleasure -therein. I had a mind to diversion, and went to -visit my Damoyselles, and thus did I live the -pleasantest life in the world; but I had so much -reason as to think that things would not last long -as they were, and I had no inclination to stealing, -more virtuous thoughts had now possessed me, and -therefore a Trade being the only thing that would -maintain me, I enquired for one, and setled my -self, as you shall hear in the next Chapter.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id002'> -<img src='images/i_161fp.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -<div class='ic003'> -<p><em>The Extravagant Prentices with their Lasses at a Taverne Frollick.</em></p> -</div> -</div> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_161'>161</span> -<img src='images/i_b_161.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He being now come to</em> London, <em>puts himself Prentice -to a Taylor; he gets acquaintance with Prentices -of all sorts, is with them at their Tavern-frolicks: -he is employed by a Scrivener to make -Cloathes for a Wench, he goes with him to her, -and returning, the Scrivener promises him an -account of that Trade.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Being now come to <em>London</em>, I was resolved not -to be idle, but settle my self to some one -Trade, that I might be able to get a living; and -having already had tryal of several, at first a -<em>Barber-Surgeon</em>, then a <em>Tapster</em>, a <em>Cook</em>, a <em>Lock-smith</em>, -<em>Taylor</em>, <em>Baker</em>, and <em>Plaisterer</em>; and being -still forced for some reason or other to leave them -all, did now resolve to fix upon one that should -do my business, and whereby I might at all -times, and in all places, be able to live by my -hands, for Lands I had none. I considered of -all the Trades I had already been a practitioner -in, and many others, none suited so well with my -humour, as that of a Taylor; wherefore I sought -for several Masters, but they were all unwilling -to take me for less than seven years, it being -the custom of <em>London</em> that none can be bound for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_162'>162</span>less time, nor be made a Free-man till they have -served so long. I was unwilling to bind my self -on those tearms, knowing my temper was variable, -and did believe, I should not hold out to serve such -a tearm: but after several enquiries and tryals, I -did light upon a Master, who was willing to take -me for five years, only this I perswaded him to -do in regard I already had a good hand in working, -and being industrious in my imployment, so -that though I was bound for seven years, yet I -had a Writing under my Masters hand, that the -last two years I should dispose of my self as I -pleased, and yet he could make me a Free-man -at seven years end.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Master was not only a Taylor, but kept a -Brokers shop, wherein he sold all sorts of Clothes -new and old: He lived in one of the principallest -Streets in the City, and was in good esteem with -his neighbours, who were all persons of some quality, -not of the meaner sort, but substantial -Tradesmen, as <em>Gold-smiths</em>, <em>Grocers</em>, <em>Drugsters</em>, -<em>Scriveners</em>, <em>Stationers</em>, &c. and I (being now well -fitted with Clothes, and having my pockets pretty -well lined with money which I had still kept by -me) was a fit and welcome Companion to the -best sort of Apprentices, in whose society I did -soon insinuate my self, and having money to spend -equal with the best, I came acquainted with a -whole Gang of such Blades, that all my former -knowledge was nothing in comparison to what I -soon experimented from them; for their Masters -being of the wealthiest sort of Citizens, and -keeping Countrey-houses at <em>Newington</em>, <em>Hackney</em>, -<em>Stepney</em>, &c, they often had opportunity in their -<span class='pageno' id='Page_163'>163</span>absence to meet, and keep their Club or general -Randezvous, which was commonly every other -night, at one of the Taverns near adjoyning: and -my Master (who did well enough understand that -I was frequently abroad, and in what Company I -spent my time) did not in the least oppose or contradict -me therein; for I soon found that these -young Jovial Blades, though Apprentices, yet -they were my Masters best Customers, for there -was none of them but had a Sute or two of Clothes -<em>A la mode</em>, which commonly lay at our house, -which they put on when they had any frollick out -of Town, either at <em>Christmas</em>, <em>Easter</em>, or <em>Whitsontide</em>, -or at any other time, when they pretending -some urgent occasions, they would give their Masters -the slip.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was I one of the Gang, and had liberty -to be with them so often as I pleased, by the connivance -of my Master, whose profit consisted in -my acquaintance with them; for I soon brought -him some new Customers, out of whom he could -squeez good store of money for making their -Clothes, and sometimes he made three or four -Sutes at a time, yet had no money for his pains, -but he was satisfied otherwise in Commodities, -which were more to his profit; for the Mercer -paid his Bill in Stuffs, the Draper in Cloth, and -the rest either in other good Commodities which -they had of their Masters, or with which they -were furnished by their Companions. When any -of them intended a new Sute for himself, Friend, -or Mistress, it was but summoning the Brethren -of the Club together, and then the Mercer -brought his Stuffs or Silks, the Milliner Buttons, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_164'>164</span>Ribbons, and Lynings, for which they had in exchange -such other Commodities as the others could -produce: there was only two Trades that had little -or no Commodities to exchange, and that was the -Scrivener and Bookseller, and therefore I wondred -from whence they should get to be so fine -as the rest; but I observed what they wanted in -Wares, was supplyed in Money, which was a -Commodity would command every thing else. -How they should get this Money I knew not, for -I could not imagine that in making of Bills and -Bonds the Scrivener could cheat his Master of -much money, or that the Bookseller could sell -many books by the by, and put the money in his -own pockets, for I knew they were not so vendible -a Commodity as Cloath, Silk, <em>&c.</em></p> - -<p class='c000'>But one evening we being at our general Rendezvous, -where we had good wine, and better -company, being attended by two or three Suburbian -Females, who were the Doxies of our Comerades. -The Scrivener (having the finest out-side, -being in his private Sute of Apparel, and having -his pockets well lined with <em>Maslin</em> of Gold and -Silver) took occasion to court one of the Women -not only publickly, but privately; and though -she were till then a stranger to him, yet he won -her from her other Friend, and to enduce her -to be kind to him, he called me to him, and -ordered me to provide her a new gown, and -peticoat, of flowred Tabbee, and immediatly -calling to our Mercer who served us all, gave -him as much money as the Silk was worth, -and all the engagement he desired from the -<em>Bona Roba</em>, was that he might have the first -<span class='pageno' id='Page_165'>165</span>taking up of the peticoat, and then if she liked -her old sweet-heart best she might afterwards use -her pleasure, either in admitting him or t'other to -her embraces, or either of them as she pleased, to -this they all three agreed, and the Mercer who -took about four pound for Silk was ordered (by a -general vote) to spend forty shillings of the money -for that present reckoning, and all the rest went -scotfree, and after a lusty cup of wine, some dishes of -meat, and fidlars, they for that time broke up their -meeting. This liberallity, or rather prodigallity -of the Scrivener put me into some confusion, and -very desirous I was to know how he gained so -much money, wherefore I speedily procured the -apparrel to be made, and delivered it to him to his -content, I so highly pleased him that he desired me -to go with him to the Ladies lodging who was to -wear it. I accordingly waited on him thither, and -she receiving him with much chearfulness accepted -it; it was soon put on, and it was not long before -they retired out of the room wherein I was, into -an other; where I suppose she was so curteous as -to permit him not only to take up the peticoat, -and somewhat else to his liking: but to dispose -of her at his pleasure, for they stay’d together neer -an hour. Neither was I left alone: but had the -old Matron of the house, and a young <em>Bona Roba</em> -to accompany me, where we were not idle, but -made the bottles of Sack, and Stepony fly for it: -when their business was over (and ours almost -done, for we had so ply’d the liquor that our noddles -were fuller of wine than wit) they briskly -entred the room where we were, and without any -coyness fell stoutly to drinking; for seeing us neer -<span class='pageno' id='Page_166'>166</span>thirty one, they with full bowls quickly put us -out, so that I was enforced to go to sleep, which -I supposed I did for about three hours, and then -awaking I found my Gallants wanting; but I believe -they were not all at that time idle; for upon -inquiry, and search, I found them in an other -chamber together, where I suppose she had fully -performed the agreement for her cloaths to the -content of the Scrivener, who now after a fresh -bottle of wine, and payment of the reckoning -which was no small one, hearty farewels given, -and taken of his Mistress, her companion, and the -Matron, we left that house, and taking coach ordered -the Coach-man to drive to the next Tavern -to my Master, where we called for a room, wine, -and a fire, he gave me an Angel for my dayes -service, and shifting himself put on his ordinary, -and gave me his best cloathes to lay up at my -Masters, wishing me to acquaint him that I had -been in his company, and that would be sufficient -for my excuse: I thanked him for his kindness, -and Civility, and told him that his bounty had -so tyed me to him, that I should at all times be -joyful if I might serve him: As for my bounty, -said he, I shall for the future be more free to you, -and for mony you shall not want; for I am -alwayes in capacity to furnish my friends, having -the command of a great deal of cash, which I -know well enough how to order to my own advantage, -and it is but reason that I should dispose -of some as well as my Master; for it is in -my power to strip him of the greatest part of his -estate, and ruine him in his credit. I being inquisitive -after secrets, desired him to tell me how -<span class='pageno' id='Page_167'>167</span>that Trade (which I supposed, only consisted in -the making a few small writings) could be so profitable: -To this he answered, that indeed it was -true, they made not many writings, but dealt in -much money, and his Master had an extraordinary -way; for (persued he) if my Master wants -two or three thousand pound, he can quickly -command it, though he began with nothing, and -indeed had every Bird her feather, he hath no -estate: But he hath such slights, wayes, and confederates, -that he can do what he listeth: He -hath one piece of Brass hath yielded him two -thousand pound: that is much, said I, and there -must be more in your Trade than I can imagine, -and I would be very glad to be acquainted with -some of your Mysteries, and since you have promised -me your friendship, whatever you shall relate -to me, shall be surely and safely closeted up -in my breast, and shall never by me be offered to -your prejudice, and it may be some of my advice -in your affairs may be profitable; for I have had -much more experience in the world than you -imagine. This discourse, and some other arguments -which I used, induced him to give me a -relation of many passages of his life: But much -of the <em>Knaveries</em> of that mysterious Trade, which -discourse he began to me in this manner.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_168'>168</span> -<img src='images/i_b_049.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XIX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Scrivener recounts the Waggeries he committed -the first three years of his Apprenticeship, and -his Masters first Cheats by counterfeiting a -Seal.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>When I first came to Prentice, my Master -(by reason of the Wars, which caused a -general deadness in Trading) had but little to do: -but he being one of the confiding party, did thereby -get acquaintance with several rich men, and in -short time by reason of the pretended sanctity, was -entrusted by a Usurer to put out five hundred -pound, which he did to his content; for he had -a Lease of a City Companies which cost seven -hundred pound assigned for security. My Master -never having dealt in money before, and now -finding the sweetness of <em>Procuration</em>, and making -of writings, longed to be at it again: but though -he had moneys offered him to put out, yet he -could not meet with any security to content; for -personal security by reason of the casualty of the -Wars, was generally disliked, and Land in the -Country was for the same reason refused, and only -<span class='pageno' id='Page_169'>169</span>Leases in <em>London</em>, or Lands about <em>London</em>, was -counted sufficient and approved of, wherefore this -Companies Lease, on which he had procured -monies did run much in his head, wishing for such -another security, and projecting somewhat, which -since he had put in execution, as I will tell you -by and by: but I will first acquaint you how I -behaved my self for the first three years of my -time, whereby my Master took so good a liking -to me, as to communicate his secrets to me. My -Master was alwayes good natur’d, and kind to me: -but on the contrary, my Mistris was cross and froward, -so that I could seldome get a good word -from her, and she would still employ me in several -pieces of drudgery, as to carry burthens from -<em>London</em> to our Countrey House, and then I must -bring back from thence fletten or skim’d Milk, -on which we must feed two or three daies in the -week, when my Master would allow good roast -Beef, which she would send for away: but I was -still even with her for her niggardliness, and when -I came to the Country House, I would usually -get my share of the Cream; and being a lover of -the Pies and Puddings, steal some from her. One -time I being in the Larder, had a great mind to -a bak’d-pudding that was there, but at first durst -not meddle with it, because it was with other good -cheer to be served up at the Table to Dinner, -where were some guests: but for all that, the -lovliness of the Pudding made me to take my -knife, and turning it upside down, cut out one -half of it, and so turning it down again, left it to -be served hollow to the Table: but I departing -for <em>London</em> e're Dinner was served, I know not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_170'>170</span>how the Maides came off. At other times when -I came to the Countrey House, if the fruit of the -Orchard were ripe, then the gate was lock’d, and -I was not admitted therein, but I would have my -share by day or night; for I once invited some of -my Confederates to Church thither on a Sunday, -and in the Sermon time went with them and rob’d -our own Orchard, which no body else durst attempt -because of our Mastiff; nay, I went once -from <em>London</em> at midnight, and having some of my -Copesmates with me I entred the Orchard, and -fetcht out the fruit which I would be sure should -be of the best, and choicest of all the ground, and -gave it to my Companions, and so we returned -loaden to <em>London</em>; and thus did I vex her for her -niggardliness, and although my Master did well -enough suspect me, yet he would only laugh at -my Mistriss when she was most passionately angry, -and say, she was but rightly served. But at length -my Master had a Son, who when I first came to -Prentice was at Boarding-School: but in time -growing up, his Mother had a great desire to have -him live at home and be a Clerk: for my Masters -employment encreasing, I gained moneys, and -bought me some fine Cloathes, and wore a Watch -in my pocket: at all which she was envious, and -desirous that her Son might enjoy what I did, and -therefore bound he was to his Father, and though -this happened three years after I came, yet such -was the injustice that I had done me, that he was -not only placed before me in a seat, but I was -commanded to make clean his shooes, and attend -him, as if he had not been a Servant. This though -I was forced to comply with, yet I was resolved -<span class='pageno' id='Page_171'>171</span>to be revenged of, and therefore set my wits to -work; I did clean his shoos, but in the edges instead -of greazing them, I anointed them with -<em>Aqua fortis</em>, and he putting them on, and going -to the further end of <em>London</em>, the soles of the -shoos fell from the Upper-leathers, they being so -eaten by the <em>Aqua fortis</em>, and he sate at the Coblers -stall whilst they were randed together again. -He was of so covetous a disposition (like his Mother) -that though he had moneys in his pocket, yet he -would seldom spend any at the Ale-house, and -therefore sate at the Coblers stall two hours, whilst -his shoos were made fit for him to walk with, and -then he came home and was soundly chidden by -his Father, my Master, for his so long stay, which -pleased me very well that he should be blamed -for that fault whereof he had been so often -guilty. He being of a sneaking peering humor, I -could not be quiet for complaints he made of me, -and by his applying himself close to his business, -he would dispatch as much writing as I did: -though I could when I listed, do twice as much -in the time, and when he had done, he would be -making and mending his Pens ready against business -came in, but I would spoil all his Pens by -cutting one neb of them away somewhat shorter -than the other, so that when he came to write, he -had his Pens to mend or new make, and so curious -he was, that his Ink must be in a particular Standish -by its self, whereto I would often put Oyl, -so that it would not write; and then for his Parchment, -he would choose the best skins, and give -me the worst being greasie: but I would in his -absence greaze his Parchment by rubbing it with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_172'>172</span>a Candles end. Many other inventions I had to -hinder and cross him, I found two pair of his -Gloves one time, and bestowed some Cow-lich in -all the seams on the inside of them, so that he -putting them on, his hands quickly fell to itching, -and he to scratching, till they were all bloudy, -and so hot, that he was forced to put them in a -pail of water, and then he cut his Gloves in pieces, -that he might see what was in the inside, which -was no small pleasure to me. He being a trouble -and vexation to my fellow-servants as well as to -me, they assisted me in my waggeries and contrivances -against him. In his Mothers absence at -the Countrey House, he kept the key of the Cupboard -and Buttery, to hinder us from the better -sort of Victuals, but I soon got another key, and -had my full share of every thing, and when missed -any thing, perswaded him, the Rats and Mice -bereft him of it. When my Mistriss came to Town -she would have her Lodging in the Chamber over -the Kitching, because she would hear if we sit up -after her; it was a good while er'e I could think -of a way to cause her to remove her Lodging, -but understanding that she could not endure Rats -and Mice, I got a great dead Rat, and in the daytime -put it into her bed between the sheets, so -that she opening her bed to go into it, and seeing -the Rat, was so extreamly affrighted, that she -immediately left her Lodging, and went -into another Chamber: but she doubting -that we would sit up a nights after she was -gone to bed, as indeed we often did, in Company -of her Daughter, who was somewhat -better condition’d than her Brother, and had many -<span class='pageno' id='Page_173'>173</span>Junkets and Collations; she called her Son to -watch, and he being willing to catch us, would -come down part of the stairs softly in his shirt to -listen: but we discerning his practice, strewed the -stairs with pease, and nointed the edges with soap, -so that one night down he fell backwards, and almost -brake his Rib with the fall, and gave us -timely notice to shift away for our selves: his -Mother hearing the noise, comming down her self -to help him, was served in the same kind, I hearing -of this, and all being dark, ran in my shirt -and Breeches as if newly awaked, and instead of -helping them, went to the stairs and wip’d and -rub’d them, and conveyed away most of the pease, -so that my Master by this time being likewise -up, and having a candle, did not distrust how -they had been served, but helping them up, and -I assisting my young Master to go to his bed, the -next day he concluded the House was haunted -by Spirits: By this means we were rid of his -watchings; for after he was once in his Chamber -of a night, he seldom came out again to watch -us. But he would commonly stay in the Kitchin -till he saw us all going to bed, neither would he -permit me to come to the fire, upon which account -we had a bussel, and I gave my Gentleman -such a fall, that caused him to remember a good -while after: but his Mother remembred me the -next morning, for he having acquainted her with -the matter, she took upon her to revenge it, which -she did in this manner. I according to custom -coming to the Cistern for water, to water the shop -before I swept it, having one finger of one hand -in the hole at the bottom of the bottle, and my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_174'>174</span>t'other hand being employed in holding the -bottle, and being stooping at the Cock of the -Cistern my Mistress came near me, and there -standing by me in a Tub a parcel of durty clouts -wherewith the maids had newly washed down -the stairs, she takes them up and slaps them about -my face, so that I looked as durty as a Chimney-sweeper; -and not contented therewith, she jouled -my head against the Cistern: I thereupon standing -upright, and feling my self wet, faced her, who -now opening her mouth, made a great noise with -her passionate exclamations against me for abusing -her Son; I let her goe on in her discourse, and -apprehending a way to be even with her, coming -very near her, let my finger go from the bottom -of the bottle, and holding it over her, it ran all -upon her, so that she then having a great belly soon -felt her self to wet through, and then she would -have been at me again, but I shewed her a fair -pair of heels, and ran away. Thus was I still -even with them both, and my Master would -seldom do any thing but laugh at what I did, -taking much notice of my unhappy wit; for let -her and her Son do all they could, I would be -sure to have my share of the best sort of the Victuals; -and she was of that dirty humor, that at a -<em>Christmas</em> when she made a Feast, and a great -deal of good chear was drest for her guests, she -would then afford us nothing but a dish of stew’d -Turneps, Milk, Pottage, or at the best, a leg of -Beef; and though much Victuals were left in -Platters, and on Trenchers, that she bestowed on -the Water-bearer or Chair-woman, that they -might report what a brave House she kept, and not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_175'>175</span>a bit was given to us his Servants, unless she had -kept it so long till it was mouldy or worse. Once -I remember she promised us some Plumb-Pottage, -and at the time she made two pots full, I asking -the maid wherefore so much was made? she informed -me, that one pot-full was much better -than the other; I being told which was the best -when my Master and Mistress were at Dinner, got -a good Bason full of the best, and set it by for my -self, and then mixed the rest so, so that we had -all alike. But to lay aside all these fooleries, and -now to the purpose, my Master perceiving me of -a pretty smart wit, and fit for his purpose, he employed -me in getting of a Seal made, the which -I did, and it was like unto the Companies, which -I told you was to the writing, upon which we -lent 500<em>l.</em> He did not tell me the use of it at -present, but I soon found it out; for not long -after a Deed was made, and the Seal being put -to it, my Master caused one who was his Confederate -to bring it to our shop at such a time as -he had a Usurer in his company who wanted security -for moneys. In comes our Gentleman, and -calling my Master aside, asked him if he could -procure 500<em>l.</em> upon such a Companies Lease? Yes -reply’d my Master if it be a good one; whereupon -the Lease was produced, and the Usurer -being there present look’d on it, and liked it so -well, that he agreed to lend 400<em>l.</em> upon it: This -at first would not please the Gentleman, because -he pretended he was to pay 500<em>l.</em> but the value of -the Lease being counted and reckoned at no more -than 600<em>l.</em> he was contented at my Masters perswasions -to accept of 400<em>l.</em> upon that security, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_176'>176</span>and my Master promised him to furnish him -with a 100<em>l.</em> more on his Bond of another person, -a friend of his. Thus this business was made up, -and assignment or mortgage being made of this -Lease, the money was paid, and my Master as I -soon understood, had 350<em>l.</em> thereof, and the Gentleman -50<em>l.</em> and I was likewise rewarded with twenty -shillings, which the Gentleman gave me. Thus -said the Scrivener, was my Master first beginnings -in Cheating, which indeed was but small to -these many great ones, which he soon after acted; -of which you shall have an account in the next -Chapter.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_177'>177</span> -<img src='images/i_b_161.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He discourses of several of his Masters Cheats, -whereby he gets his Estate.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>With this Stock of 350<em>l.</em> my Master set up -all his <em>Knaveries</em>, and being unwilling to -venture it all in one bottom, he lent a 100<em>l.</em> of it -in small sums to House-keepers, which they paid -again by the week, and gave him at least 40<em>l.</em> <em>per -Cent.</em> for the use of it; for if he lent five pound, -they paid it by five shillings <em>per</em> week, and had -but four pound ten shillings for their money, and -my Master making the Bond in another mans -name, he had commonly five shillings, and sometimes -ten shillings for <em>Procuration</em>, and sometimes -I had a shilling or two: thus did he dispose of -some. Others he lent upon <em>Bommeree</em>, which was -thus: If he lent ten pound, he was to have fifteen -pound for it on such a day, or the return of such -a ship, which should first happen; and though -there was no such ship in the world came home, -yet the time would come, and then it must be -paid; and this being counted an adventure, he -could take what interest he pleased, as it is -customary with Merchants to venture upon -<em>Bottomrie</em>; that is, on the bottom or keel of -the ship and then for security of payment of -<span class='pageno' id='Page_178'>178</span>the money, though the ship should miscarry, they -are wont to insure it at the Insurance-Office; but -my Master needed no such charge or trouble for -insuring any ship, for he was sure the day would -come, though the ship never did; and thus did -he make forty or fifty pound in the hundred: but -he being once bit and sued in equity, afterwards -took a more strict course, for he seldom lent any -money thus, but he would include in the Condition -of the Bond a warrant to confess a Judgement, -upon default of payment: and to be sure when the -time came, and the money not paid, he filed his -Bond, which was warrant to confess Judgement, -and thereby obtained a <em>Scieri facias</em>, to take execution -on the body or goods of the debtor, who -little dreamt thereof, and then he seized all the -penalty, to the undoing of some; and he seldome -lent unto any, but he had two or three bound for -security, and that he might not be blamed nor -sued, he made his Bonds and Judgements in the -name of one who was his Confederate, and was -was a Prisoner in the Kings-Bench, so that when -the penalty was recovered, it was to no purpose -to sue him. And by degrees being now in Credit, -and having moneys of other persons to dispose of, -he would seldome lend any but upon morgages, -because under the pretence of being paid for -writings (which he would be sure to make large -enough) he would sometimes take five pound for -procuring a hundred, and say, though indeed six -<em>per Cent</em> was as much as his friend the Usurer -would take, yet he was forced every six moneths -to present him with somewhat that should be equal -to eight pound <em>per Cent</em>, and withal, that he was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_179'>179</span>at charge not only to imploy one at first to enquire -of the Security, but he was at the charge of -a Coach to go to see the estate, and then he will -reckon so much for his pains, so much for loss of -time, so much for writings, and so much for expences, -and so much for expedition, and all this -must be deducted out of the money: when the -six moneths came that the money was due, then -he must have the interest, and so much for <em>Continuation</em>; -and this was a courtesie if he let them -go so: but if the borrower came not, and readily -at the time brought the interest and <em>Continuation</em>-money, -he had several wayes to bring them in, -for suddenly a <em>Declaration</em> of Ejectment was -drawn up and delivered to the Tenant or Tenants -in possession of the premises, who being frighted -at the matter, presently goes to the Landlord, who -sensible of the matter, hies him to us. If this will -not do, then an Officer is feed to enter an Action -and Arrest the Borrower, who then is forced to -come and comply upon extraordinary disadvantageous -terms; for after much entreaty, my Master -may be perswaded to continue it, the interest-money -being paid, as also <em>Continuation</em>-money, -charge of <em>Declarations</em> of Ejectment (for which -we will rekon five or ten shillings paid to an Attorney, -though it were done by my Master, or me -by his command) it may be twenty shillings, or -forty shillings, for the Arrest, though it may be -not above half a Crown was paid for it; and then -there must be at least twenty shillings, or forty -shillings, to my Master for his pains, and if the -borrower be not willing to pay all this charge, -then will my Master see an Attorney in earnest, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_180'>180</span>and proceed upon the <em>Declaration</em> of Ejectment, -and in short time get the possession of the estate: -and thus put the poor borrower to ten pound -charge, and if he refuse to pay this, he shall fair -worse; for although in equity the lender of the -money can hold the premises no longer in his -hands than till he is paid his Debt, Interest, and -charges out of the rent, yet my Master will so order -the matter, that the borrower shall never have the -estate again; for (pretending that the lender wanted -his money, and was forced to sell the estate to -raise it) he will pass it away to another, a Confederate, -for the bare money, interest, and charges -that is due on it, or it may be, five or ten pound -more; and this is all the poor borrower can get -in equity, which will cost him more the recovering -than it is worth. Thus have we often had an -estate worth two hundred pound, for only fifty -pound and interest, and the poor borrower is -forced to be quiet, not having any remedy. -When an estate is mortgaged to us, we seldom -let it go out of our hands; for if the money -lent be not brought and paid just on the day, -then we put the borrower off till the next six -moneths, refusing to deliver up the writings, -and then it becomes forfeited, so that we force -them to sell it to us, or give extraordinary fees, to -cause us to release our interest; especially if we -discover it to be sold to another, we refuse to -shew the writings, and so weary out the borrower -with delays and pretences, <em>&c.</em> But this was but -small game, to what we after played, as I shall -presently tell you, for the 350<em>l.</em> being all put -out in parcels, and though they often returned -<span class='pageno' id='Page_181'>181</span>with profit enough, yet it was very hard to get -400<em>l.</em> together to pay the money that was borrowed, -for now it had been lent a year, and the -Usurer, though he hath never so good security, -yet he loves to see his money sometimes, especially -when he deals with a stranger, as the man -was that borrowed it; and though my Master -might have cheated him of his money, yet he was -unwilling so to give over, but proceed in his Trade -which had gained him so much: wherefore my -Master upon search and inquiry, found that the -same Company (whose Seal he had Counterfeited) -had a parcel of Land in the Countrey, not far -from <em>London</em>, which they had let to a wealthy Citizen, -who had given over Trading for some years, -and now lived in the Country: My Master getting -the particulars of this Land soon makes a -Lease, and with the help of his Counterfeit Seal, -makes it authentick, so that without much trouble -he procures a thousand pound to be lent -upon it by another Usurer who lived private, and -the business was so ordered, that the Usurer was -well enough contented without seeing the Land: -my Master gave his old Confederate forty pound -to personate the borrower, and then he paid in -the four hundred pound that was formerly borrowed, -so that only he thereby engaged that -Usurer to him, who now had so good an opinion -of my Master, that he soon made it up fifteen -hundred pound, and desired him to procure him -either good security, or a purchase for it: all -which was done in a fair way, to the Usurers content, -and my Masters profit; and thus did our -Trade increase, my Master getting much money, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_182'>182</span>and many a Crown, and half piece came into my -pocket; for he knowing that I was privy to the -first Cheat, did humor me very much, and took -his Son off from abusing me, and caused every -body that borrowed money to give me some gratuity -for expedition, so that I had money enough, -and the keeping of all my Masters Cash is committed -to my charge: My Master had one rare -contrivance lately, which I will tell you of whilst -it is in my minde; and thus it was, he had a -Kinswoman who had long lived with him, and -some moneys he had of hers in his hands, which -was a Legacy formerly given her by another. -This Maid being Courted by a Shop-keeper in -way of Marriage, the match went forwards, and -was agreed upon on these terms; the Shop-keepers -Father was to give him a hundred pound in -money to put him into Stock, and my Master -was to give his Kinswoman fifty pound, this being -agreed on, my Master takes the young man aside, -and thus discourses him: <em>Young man, here have -I agreed to give fifty pound with my Kinswoman, -which gains you a hundred pound of your Father, -now I having not ready money by me, must borrow -this fifty pound, for which you must be bound with -me, and when it becomes due I will pay it; This -I say you must do without acquainting your Father, -and so the business shall be done, and I pray be a -good Husband</em>, <em>&c.</em> The young man soon consented, -the marriage was consummated, and all -things went well for a while, but within twelve -months the young couple having run out all, -my Masters Kinswoman came again to her -Uncle to acquaint him with their condition, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_183'>183</span>desire his advice and assistance; my Master was -much troubled at this chance, for he expected -the contrary, and intended to get back the fifty -pound for which end he had the young man -bound, that he might be forced to pay the money, -when in a condition; but seeing it was otherwise, -he considered the matter, and wish’d her to send -her Husband to him, and be patient, and make -no words, and all should be well: her Husband -according to order came, and after several checks -past for his ill husbandry, he asked him if his -Father knew any thing of his Condition? no, said -the young man, I have kept it from his knowledge, -and he thinks I thrive in the world, and is -glad of it; well then, said my Master, you know -I gave you fifty pound, for which you were bound, -and indeed it is still unpaid: now if you will be -contented to pay that fifty pound in, I will raise -you two hundred pound, so that you shall have -fifty pound more in ready money, and then see -how good a Husband you will be. To this the -young man gladly consented, and my Master soon -after took occasion to meet and drink with his -Father, and after some other discourse, they -joyntly talked of the young mans thriving in the -world, and were both glad of the match, and -good husbandry: but said my Master, now I think -on it, there is now an opportunity of doing him -much good if he had more money, and therefore -you would do well to furnish them; I shall not be -backward, replies the Father, upon a good account, -therefore I pray tell me the business: My -Master thereupon told him, that with two hundred -pound more he might be bravely settled and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_184'>184</span>furnished, for the Lease of his House is to be sold, -and I can get it for a hundred pound, and that is -a rich penny-worth, and the other hundred pound, -I would have him to lay out in furnishing his -shop more plentifully, than now it is. Truly reply’d -the old man, this would do well: but I have -no money at present, neither if I had, should I be -willing to part from any more than a hundred -pound at a time; Well for that, said my Master, -if you please, I will manage the matter: Thus -will I procure two hundred pound for the young -man; nay, and I have so great a love for him, -that I will be bound with him and you for it, and -when it shall be due, you shall only pay a hundred -pound of the money, and your Son the -t'other: To this the old man after some pause, -and a little consideration consented, the business -was done, and the money paid. My Master indeed -being acquainted with the Landlord of the -young man’s House, gained a Lease of it for -eighty pound, and made the young man allow a -100<em>l.</em> and deducting the fifty pound he had formerly -given him, he gave him the t'other fifty -pound. Thus had my Master his fifty pound -again, and twenty pound for his pains in the -business. When the money became due, my -Masters Confederate, the Usurer, in whose name -the Bond was made, demanded the money of -the young man, where there was none to be -had; and the old man was willing to pay only -a hundred pound of it according to Contract, -where shall I have the rest, said the Usurer? -why truly said the old man, if my Son cannot pay -you, then let his wives Uncle, meaning my Master: -<span class='pageno' id='Page_185'>185</span>But course was soon taken otherwise, and -my Master being first, and principle in the Bond, -made no more ado, but confessed Judgement, and -thereupon Execution was taken out against them -all, but served only upon the old man, who was -forced to pay all the money. Thus my Master, -by being principle in the Bond saved himself, regained -the fifty pound he had formerly lent, and -gained twenty pound, besides making of Writings; -and this, said he, will serve to help my -Kinswoman when I see occasion. I having heard -him with good attention, and considering with -my self my own petty Rogueries, and how inconsiderable -they were in comparison of what he had -related to me, could not but burst out into admiration, -and told him, that I saw the world -was an absolute Cheat: and now I find that saying -to be verified which I had often heard, That -the World consisted but of two sorts, <em>Knaves</em> and -<em>Fools</em>, and that the one lived by out-witting and -Cheating the other; and if there were any honest -men, they were such as onely lived a contemplative -life, and dealt not in this world; their whole -thoughts being taken up in the Contemplation of -another; Truly, reply’d the Scrivener, if you had -known so much as I of all sorts of people (for we -deal with people of all Qualities and Professions) -you would conclude so indeed: and as the poor -mans ability will not carry him high enough to -Cheat so much at first, so he attempting it, and -being discovered, is quite lost: but if a rich man, -or any who had success in <em>Knavery</em> sets upon it -to get an Estate, it is soon compassed, and the folly -<span class='pageno' id='Page_186'>186</span>and easiness of many honest borrowers enriches -the Knavish lender. Thus we both concluded, as -sufficiently evidenced by the Examples he had -given me: and therefore I desired him to proceed, -which he did in this manner.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> - -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_187'>187</span> -<img src='images/i_b_187.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He proceeds in discovering several considerable -Cheats of his Masters, whereby he grows very -rich: also some Cheats of his own, and so concludes.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My Master (continued the Scrivener) being -now possessed of a thousand pound in ready -money, there fell out an opportunity of good advantage; -(and I have observed it, that there is no -loss, but profit enough to be gained in keeping -five hundred pound alwayes in a readiness in -Cash, especially in our Trade, where so many -offers for sale of Land and Houses are daily made.). -The Landlord of my Masters House was lately -dead, and his Son and Heir being a wild blade, -soon spent all the ready money his Father left, -and all the Debts he could well get in; and now -to selling of some of his Houses he must go, and -my Master being known to be a moneyed man, -and a Scrivener, was thought the best Customer: -He therefore propounds borrowing of five hundred -pound, but my Master being now possessed -of a round sum, and hoping to have a good penny-worth, -was very willing to buy. The young man -and some friends were unwilling, and could not -agree upon terms, and my Master at last consents -<span class='pageno' id='Page_188'>188</span>to lend the money, provided he may have a mortgage -of all that estate in that place, which -amounted to two hundred pound <em>per annum</em>, -was worth three thousand pound, and said he, you -shall not need to make me an absolute assignment -or sale of it all, only a Lease at a Pepper Corn a -year for one and twenty years: But to confirm -it, and for a Collateral security, you must give me -a Statute Staple, to which our young man and -his friends consented. The Lease was made, and -a Statute for a thousand pound entred into, and -the money paid and lent for six moneths only. -The noise of this, and my Masters other Trading, -brought him into great esteem both with lenders -and borrowers, so that his <em>Name</em> being up, he may -lie a bed till noon, and yet get money enough. -A purchase of Land in the Country was offered, -and my Master bought it for a thousand five hundred -pound, of which he borrowed upon a Lease -of part of it. The six moneths quickly came -about wherein his young Landlord was to pay -the five hundred pound: but (according to my -Masters expectation) he failed, and then it was -to be sold, my Master agreed to give two thousand -five hundred pound for it, and so they -struck up a bargain, five hundred he had received -before, a thousand pound he made a shift -to borrow upon the mortgage of the Land he -had lately purchased; (for, though as I told you he -borrowed five hundred pound of the money when -he purchased the Land, and gave a mortgage of -part of it for security, yet he keeping the principal -Writings in his hands, concealed that mortgage, -and now borrowed a thousand pound more -<span class='pageno' id='Page_189'>189</span>of it) five hundred pound more he raised in ready -money of his own, which was two thousand pound, -and for the other five hundred pound, the remainder -of the two thousand five hundred pound: his -young Landlord took his Bond for the money, -not questioning his security for five hundred pound, -that could pay two thousand pound ready money, -neither indeed had he occasion as yet for it. This -being concluded, the money being paid, and writings -seal’d, my Master would not remember to -give up the Statute he had for a thousand pound, -but he had another now for five thousand pound -for security of his bargain, and the young man -never so much as desired a <em>Defeazance</em> upon the -Statute, but mark what follow’d. The youngster -in short time, keeping riotous company, wasting -his body as well as purse, died; and his younger -Brother seized on his estate that was unspent: and -among other things, on my Masters Bond of five -hundred pound, and soon after demanded it; -though my Master at first was non-plus’d, yet he -soon bethought him of a way how to discharge and -acquit himself of it: and thereupon returned this -answer. It is very true, your Brother and I had -much dealing, and I did give him such a Bond -which I am ready to pay to his Executor, which -you tell me you are, provided you pay me what -he likewise owed unto me: why, reply’d the young -man, did he owe you any moneys? yea, said my -Master; and whereas you produce a Bond, which -is indeed a very good speciality, I shall produce -somewhat that is higher, and indeed the highest -security that can be given for any Debt, and that -is a Statute Staple: and thereupon he produced -<span class='pageno' id='Page_190'>190</span>one Statute first, that was given for a thousand -pound upon borrowing of the five hundred pound; -nay, but said the young man, I suppose that this -was part of the money that was for the purchase -of your dwelling house and others; for that, said -my Master I can shew you a particular Receipt -for all the money under his hand and seal, and -also a general acknowledgment in the Deed of -conveyance: wherefore this money I must have -you pay me first, and afterwards I shall talk with -you further; what do you mean by further talk -said the young man? why, said my Master, I mean -to have of you all that your Brother owed me, -which is much more than you think for: for he -and I had great dealings together for a greater -sum of money than all this, as I shall further shew -you; and thereupon he produced the second Statute, -which was for five thousand pound. This -demand of my Masters so vexed the young man, -that he departed, and soon began his course at Law -against my Master, but he took a wrong sow by -the ear, for he finding whereabouts he intended -on his two Statutes, was too quick for this -youngster, and gained a <em>Liberate</em>, which he delivered -to the Sheriff, who served it upon all the -estate of the deceased; so that by this means all -that was unspent of the dead young mans estate -(amounted in Land to the value of four thousand -pound) came to my Masters hands, and yet he -sayes he is unsatisfied: and the young man the -Brother of the deceased cannot help it, for by -this means he is bereft of all Estate to go to Law: -and when money and means is wanting, friends -are scarce; besides, I know not how he can avoid -<span class='pageno' id='Page_191'>191</span>it, his Brother not having taken a <em>Defeazance</em>, as -he ought to have done. Here was a matter worth -playing the <em>Knave</em> for, and would induce some -men to leave off: but my Master had so good success -in his proceedings, that he is resolved to proceed -in them. The money that he borrowed on -all the Mortgages, both Counterfeit Leases and -others, he soon paid off, and yet left himself worth -above three hundred pound <em>per annum</em>, and money -in his purse. Thus having a good estate, and now -being full of imployments, both for buying, selling, -borrowing, and lending: he always keeps a -good Bank of money. If any purchase of Land -come at twelve or thirteen years purchase, he -buyes it, because he knows of a Customer that -will give fifteen or sixteen. And thus he will -gain five hundred pounds in a weeks time. We -lately had one business worth all the rest, and -which hath now made him weary of getting -money: A Knight having a Lordship in the -Country worth two thousand pound <em>per annum</em>, -comes first to borrow money, and grants a Lease -and Statute upon the borrowing of two thousand -pound: this my Master lent himself of his own -money, the Knight within a moneth or two being -to marry a Daughter, wants two thousand pound -more, which was likewise promised on the same security: -by this time my Master was somewhat -drained of his ready money, and knowing that the -Knight would soon be with him again, he casts about -how to raise more: which thus he does, he -borrows 1500<em>l.</em> upon a Lease of part of his -purchase, of his dwelling house and others, and -keeps the grand Writings in his hands; he borrows -<span class='pageno' id='Page_192'>192</span>a thousand pound on his Land in the Country, -and of another party he borrows fifteen hundred -pound more upon a Lease of part of his purchase -of his dwelling house and others, keeping still the -grand Writings in his hands: and thus having -eight thousand pound ready money, he goes to -the Knight, and upon treaty, agrees to give him -thirty two thousand pound for his estate, which -price being concluded on, he borrows two thousand -pound upon his dwelling house and others, -and then parts from the grand Writings, and Covenants -that the estate is free of Incumbrances, -though he had twice mortgaged it in part: and -thus having raised ten thousand pound, he borrows -twelve thousand pound more upon part of his new -purchase, and the Knight is contented to take -the t'other ten thousand pound in full of the purchase, -at two six moneths, and only takes my -Masters Bond: this was lately settled and agreed -upon, and all Writings made, and I doubt the -Knight will come short of his money; for my -Master hath so many Statutes which the Knight -never dreams of, having still given them without -taking <em>Defeazances</em>, that I believe he will be cut -off from his Debt, and so must the <em>Usurer</em> that -lent my Master the twelve thousand pound upon -a mortgage of part of his new Lordship; for -my Master being resolved to make this a piece -of wit, and to do his utmost to cheat them all, -did the next day after the Purchase was made, -and Writings sealed, cause us to sit up all night, -and make an absolute bargain and sale of -all that his new purchase to two friends in -trust, for the use of his Children, so that the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_193'>193</span>Usurer who lent his twelve thousand pounds, had -not his Writings of Assignments sealed till a week -or ten dayes after, and when the time comes for -payment, he may be chous’d and defeated of all, -and my Master being Master of an Estate of two -thousand pounds <em>per annum</em>, may live and laugh -at them all for their credulity; for he hath so -ordered it that the Law cannot touch the Estate, -it may only reach his person, and as for that, we -know it is but a <em>Kings-Bench</em> matter, and there -he may live all his life time, and spend like a -Lord, and when he dies his Debts are paid, and -his Estate goes to his Children. But if he hath -success for two or three more such businesses as -this last, he need not do so, but leave the Cheat -to the last Cast, and grow infinitely rich, as I -question not but he will.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus, said our Scrivener, have I given you an -account of my Masters way to get money, and I -have not been without mine: he would many -times permit me to cheat a little, because I assisted -him and was privy to his concerns. I have one -way that brings me in twenty or thirty pounds -<em>per annum</em>; for all Deeds of Bargain and Sale -are to be Enrolled in six moneths after the date, -either in <em>Chancery</em>, if it be Land or Houses out of -<em>London</em>, or in <em>Guild-Hall</em>, if within <em>London</em> or the -Liberties thereof; and I was once forced to trot -to <em>Chancery-lane</em> four or five times for one Deed -before I could get it done, and when it was done, -all that was to be seen on the Deed was, <em>Inrolled</em> -such a Day and Year in <em>Chancery</em>, <em>per me</em> such a -one. I seeing that, learned to write the Hand, -they use in Endorsing, and for the future only -<span class='pageno' id='Page_194'>194</span>writ it my self on the back side to shew our Clients, -and that was sufficient; for not one in a thousand -is search’d for, and this is only done in case the -Deed be lost, so that I now have got the trick -on't to write on the back-side my self, and put -that money the Register should have into my own -pocket, and that is a pretty quantity, for an indifferent -Deed comes to twenty shillings, at so -much <em>per</em> Roll. Forty other wayes have I to get -moneys, and indeed I need not invent wayes, for -our Trade is so great for <em>Procuration</em> and <em>Continuation</em>, -and such like, that I get money enough -more than I can well tell how to spend.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I will now conclude, onely tell you a story or -two, how I have initiated my self in this Art of -<em>Knavery</em>, for my time being suddenly to expire, -I thought it necessary to try some expedients -how I might live hereafter when I came to be -for my self; and knowing that my Master could -not do any thing at first without a Confederate -(some body to help and assist him) I procured the -like: We had many indigent persons that came -to borrow money, some Gentlemen, others decayed -and decaying Citizens; amongst the rest a -Master of a Ship, who had made so many broken -voyages that he could make no more, for he had -wearied all his Friends with holding parts of -Ships with him to their great loss; but he holding -to the Proverb, <em>That a Sea-man is never broken -till his neck is broken</em>, was resolved to try his fortune -one bout more, and had now with the help -of Friends made a shift to buy an old Barque of -near a hundred Tun, in which he was minded to -go to Sea, partly as a Man of War, and withal -<span class='pageno' id='Page_195'>195</span>to bring home prohibited Goods from <em>France</em>. -This man was an earnest suiter to borrow an hundred -pounds upon <em>Bottomry</em>, or any wayes, to -victual and fit his Ship; I finding him ingenious, -after some conference with him, and he being -willing for any Undertaking, we concluded to go -half snips in the profit of his Voyage, and I would -furnish him with moneys to his content: I soon -perswaded an easie friend of mine who had more -money than wit, to lend our Captain an hundred -pounds, promising him great profit, and indeed -he was to have fifty in the hundred for that Voyage, -which was to be finished in two moneths, and -I told him that he might ensure his money at the -<em>Ensurance Office</em>, which he did accordingly. Our -Captain being furnished with a hundred pound of -the Usurer, I made bold with an hundred pound -more of my Masters, which could not soon be -missed out of the Cash, and with this the Ship -was so bravely fitted and provided with all Necessaries, -that he was offered Fraights enough. At -last he concluded with one to bring over some -rich Goods, and the times being dangerous at -Sea, by reason of Men of War at Sea, he ensured -five hundred pounds upon the Ship.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Ensurers knowing this, and that the man -who ensured was a substantial Merchant, mistrusted -nothing; but likewise ensured five hundred -pounds more to the Captain, because he had laid -out much in fitting the Ship, and did it as he pretended -for satisfaction of the Owners. All things -being thus fitted, our Captain leaving his Policy or -Deed of Ensurance with me, put out to Sea, -arrived at his Port, received the Goods on Board, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_196'>196</span>but having a parcel of trusty Blades with him, and -some who had shares in the purchase, he puts the -best part of the Merchandize on Board of a small -Barque he had hired for that purpose, and that -being sent ashore to another Port, he soon after -ran his Ship ashore in such a place as he was not -likely to come off, and there she perished, he and -his companions getting on shore with some small -matter of Goods in the Long-boat: He being -arrived on shore, soon writ word to me how he -had sped, and I being acquainted very well with -the Ensurers, perswaded them to pay me the -money he had ensured first, upon some small rebate; -and he on the other side selling the Merchandize -on shore, put it into other commodities -and sent them home, and himself came home as -a distressed passenger, and here the Ensurers paid -for all: Such bouts as these they sometimes met -with, and that so often, that now adayes when a -Merchant hath ensured, he had need to ensure -on the Ensurers, and some have done so.</p> - -<p class='c000'>When our Captain came home, we privately -met and shared our profit, and by this I gained -two hundred pounds for my share, and this was -a good beginning; and though I hazarded to Sea, -yet there was less hazard then my Master underwent -in his first attempt in Counterfeiting a Companies -Seal; for should he have been discovered, -sorrow would have been his sops. I have now -and then had five or ten pound given me at a -time for altering a Will, and putting in more as -Legacy to one than the Testator intended, and -this I would venture on without much hazard, if -the Testator were sick to death. My Master -<span class='pageno' id='Page_197'>197</span>once made a Will, and instead of another, made -himself Executor, and I and one more of the -Confederacy were witnesses to it, by this means -he gained near three hundred pound.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I have oftentimes had a Piece or two given me -to make Writings in favour of one man more -than another; for in a Lease, if Rent reserved be -100<em>l.</em> <em>per annum</em>, and there be no Covenant for -payment of the Rent, when either of the parties -die, if any Rent be behind due to the Lessee, it -cannot be recovered by the Executors, Administrators, -or Assigns of the Lessor, because there -was no Covenant between them in behalf of their -Executors, Administrators and Assigns; and it -hath been usual in all ancient Leases to leave -that Covenant out as needless, but now people -are grown wiser by experience.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In arbitration between parties there is much -cunning and knavery to be used, in drawing up -an Award, or final End; for the Scrivener, if he -be a friend to, or favour either of the parties, -shall do it so as that it shall be void, or not -authentick, or not obliging to one of the parties, -and yet the Arbitrators who are commonly honest -harmless men, think they have done their business, -when as they have only made more work for -Lawyers.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In <em>Counter-Bonds</em> there may be much partiality -used, as also in <em>Letters of Attorney</em>, only putting -in <em>his use</em>, for <em>my use</em>, entitles the Attorney to receive -all to his own use without any account; -and such a thing as this is often slipt over, or not -understood, and many a good piece and Half-piece -comes into our pockets in a year for these -actions.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_198'>198</span>It was like to go very hard with one of my -Masters acquaintance not long since, for he being -skilled in counterfeiting of Hands, did very artificially -counterfeit a Citizens Hand (with whom -he had some small dealing) to a Bond of 400<em>l.</em> to -pay 200<em>l.</em> with interest at a day, and when the -time came he asked him before some company -to pay him that money that he then owed him: -Yes, said the Citizen, I shall do it next week, -meaning a small sum which he did directly owe -him, and did then pay him, but the other then -telling him of his Bond of 400<em>l.</em> and the Citizen -directly denying it, a Suit was commenced, and -Tryal was had at the <em>Kings-Bench</em> Bar in <em>Westminster-Hall</em>, -where the innocent Citizen (seeing -the confidence of the Witnesses, and indeed his -own hand, as he supposed, to the Bond, which he -could not deny but it was so, or very like) and -having nothing to say, in a passion cryed out in -open Court, <em>to desire God to revenge his Cause, for -he was utterly and absolutely wronged</em>. This being -so solemnly protested, made not only the Judge -but the Jury a little more inquisitive into the -matter than ordinary, and called for some papers -to compare the hand with other of his handwriting, -but no difference could be found therein. -The Bond thus passing about to every one of the -Jury, one of them viewing the Bond more narrowly -than ordinary, craved leave of the Judge -to be discharged of his place as a Jury-man, and -to be admitted & sworn as a Witness; for my -Lord, saith he, I can say somewhat to the matter. -This his request was assented to, and he being -sworn, began in this manner, <em>My Lord, this Bond -<span class='pageno' id='Page_199'>199</span>here in Court is pretended to be made, sealed, and delivered -nine moneths since, when, my Lord, this -Paper whereon it is written, hath not been in</em> England -<em>above four moneths</em>. How do you know that? -said my Lord. The Jury-man replyed, <em>My Lord, -I am a</em> Stationer <em>or</em> Paper-seller, <em>and to all Paper -there are several marks whereby we know and distinguish -them; As</em> Pot, Piller, Crown, Cardinals-Armes, -&c. <em>and my Lord, this being such a sort of -Paper was made by a young man in</em> France, <em>whose -mark is here, and none of it came over till within -these four moneths</em>. At this the Judge was satisfied, -all people wondred, the Defendant rejoyced, -and the Plaintiff with his Swearers were forced -to sneak out of the Court, and could not presently -be heard of.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I once was called to make a Will, and the party -lying speechless, another there present dictated to -me, telling me, that the sick man he was sure -would consent to what he said, which I believing, -proceeded and finished the Will, but when I came -to have him sign it, I saw that he was dead: well, -said the party that dictated, if you will be ruled -by me, this Will shall stand, and yet nobody forswear -themselves, and said he to me, you shall -have a good reward for your consent. I being -ready to receive money, promised him my consent; -whereupon, saith he, read the Will, so I -did: well, saith he, you see the party doth not at -all contradict what is here written, & now he -shall set his hand and seal thereto, which he did -by guiding the dead mans hand: now, saith he, -if you be questioned, you may safely swear that -you read the Will to him, and he consented, or -<span class='pageno' id='Page_200'>200</span>at leastwise did not contradict, and that you saw -him with his own hand sign, seal, and deliver the -same. Well sir, said I, if you are content I am; -and thereupon he giving me the promised reward, -I subscribed as Witness, and left him, who soon -after by vertue of this Will possessed himself of -the Estate. I had seen this trick of putting a -dead mans hand to Writings done two or three -times before, and so this was no new thing, and -would not contradict any thing that was to turn -to my profit.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I could tell you thousands of these Cheats, and -indeed, as one said, there is more mischief done -with a dash of the Pen, than with any thing else -in the way of Knavery and Cheating. Thus did -our Scrivener conclude his Discourse, and we calling -for another pint of Wine and a Faggot, drank -and warmed our selves, and so for that time parted.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_201'>201</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Book-sellers Prentice gives an account of his -Masters first tricks in Cheating, by Printing -Books that were other mens Copies.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>After this conference with the Scrivener, I -went home; and as he told me, my saying -to my Master that I had been with him was sufficient, -so I found it; for I was asked no more -Questions, but went to bed; and there did I recollect -to my self, all that he had that evening -told me: and though I could not perfectly remember -the several terms of Art he used, as -Judgement, Execution, <em>Scire facias</em>, Statute, Procuration, -and Continuation, <em>&c.</em> Yet I was sensible -of their meaning, and did very much wonder, -how any man could sleep being guilty of so -many crimes as he and his Master were; yet -I found that they slept the better, or at leastwise -fared the better, by reason of their great wealth; -and then did I compare my forepassed life, to -what I had heard of them, and it was not worth -mentioning; so that from that time, I had a -more charitable opinion for my self then formerly. -And since I had so good success with my -Scrivener, I was resolved to be a little more -intimate with the rest of the Society, especially -the Book-seller, that I might know how he gained -his Money: and the next day I had my desire; -for meeting him abroad, we went to an -Ale-house, and there did I discover to him part -<span class='pageno' id='Page_202'>202</span>of my yesterdays actions with the Scrivener, and -thereby induced him to make me this following -Discourse.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Truly Brother (for so we called one another) -you have told me wonders, though so admirable, -that I could not have thought so much crafty -knavery could have been committed by any man -breathing, though I did believe that there was -more then I understood, having always heard -that it was a dangerous thing to squeeze Wax, and -that Scriveners in general were cunning fellows, -but that any man out of nothing should by tricks -and subtile contrivances, gain to himself so great -an Estate, and yet not run into the compass of the -Law, but now I see the Proverbs verified, <em>Nothing -venture, nothing have, and that a blot is no blot till it -be hit, and give a man luck and throw him into the -Sea</em>. And although I have thought my Master -a man cunning and crafty enough, and did believe -that he who deals in Books could not be outwitted, -yet I see that a piece of Parchment with -a seal to it, is better then a great many Books, -nay then a whole Impression: but that I may -give you some satisfaction in what you desire, -I shall proceed in my Discourse; and though I -cannot tell you so many, nor so profitable contrivances -as you have related to me, yet those of -our calling deserve not to go much behind, and -we do our utmost good will to cheat, though it -turns not to so good an account.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Master when I came to Prentice had but a -small stock of Books, and those were all in his -Shop, with which, together with some paper, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_203'>203</span>parchment, pens, and such like Stationers ware, -he made a shift to pick up an indifferent livelihood; -but he being of a reaching brain, and -seeing there were very rich people, such as gained -great Estates, and lived bravely of the same -trade: he made it his business to inquire into -their way: the most sorts of Books that we sold -were Testaments, Psalters, Grammars, Accidences, -and such books as we call Priviledged -ware, and indeed were Printed for the Company -in general, and to be had of some of the -Stock-keepers, or masters of the Company, or -at the Hall, and though our profit in selling -these sorts of books was but small, as not above -two pence in the shilling, yet it was a certain -commodity, and the sale sure: whereas other -books; either of Divinity, History, <em>&c.</em> were not -so certain, though more profitable, as commonly -bringing four pence in the shilling profit, and -thus did we continue buying books of other -book-sellers, as we were asked for them, and had -occasion; my Master commonly keeping to one -man, because he could there be trusted and furnished, -with any book he wanted, it fortuned -that a new book being printed, a small thing of -about four or five sheets of paper: it sold so well, -that my Master went often for them to his wonted -place: one time they had none of them -left, but desiring my Master to stay, they would -send for some; which my Master did, but the -Messenger came back without any, and brought -word that he should not have any more of them -upon account or exchange, for he now held -<span class='pageno' id='Page_204'>204</span>them at ready Money, and that he would have, -or part from none; well then, said my Master, -I will go thither and buy some my self. No, said -the Master of the shop, you shall not need, I’le -send for some this once with ready Money, and -you shall have them cheaper of me then of him; -and so he did, and he received them and told me, -that if he wanted any more, he could be very -well furnished with them within three or four -days, and the other had been better not to have -served him so; but the book selling very well, -all my masters were gone that night; and I went -my self to the bookseller who printed them -for some, the which I had; but the next day I -went again, he had none, and told me that I -could not have any in a weeks time. I acquainted -my Master herewith, who being called upon -for some of them, went to his old place to see if -they had any, they told him they had none at -present, but to morrow he might have what -number he pleased, accordingly the next day I -went, and brought fifty of them with me; and -then my Master (beginning to suspect that -which he afterwards found out) sent me to the -booksellers who printed them, and he had -none, wherefore he then concluded that the -bookseller with whom he was wont to deal had -printed them, though they were none of his -Copy, at which he wondred: for the greater -sort of booksellers did use to inform us that it -was a most heinous and unlawful thing to print -another mans Copy, so that I think, this was -the first time that my master discovered this Mystery, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_205'>205</span>for the Book continuing to sell, we sold -in our Shop above five hundred of them; so -that my Master begining to consider with -himself, reckoned that he had payd to his Dealer -above five pounds for these Pamphlets, and -yet got very well by them too: wherefore not -long after coming into the company of a Printer, -he asked what it would cost to print 2000 of -a Book of five Sheets of paper: the Printer replyed, -Ten pound: by this my master guessed -that his Dealer had gained half in half by him: -for he had paid for 500, half what 2000 would -cost. My Master holding some further Discourse -with this Printer over a pot of Ale, he told him -that he did work for such a man, naming the -Bookseller with whom my Master dealt, and -saith he, I lately did two sheets for him of a -book he gained well by, for I printed 5000 for -my share: so that at length, after conference -together, they concluded it was the same book -my Master sold so many of, and that he had -printed it in three or four places for expedition, -and that he could not gain less then 30<em>l.</em> -by printing it: I but says my Master, how will -he do to answer it to the other man whose Copy -it was? For that, said the Printer, he will do -well enough, for the other is but a young man, -and light upon his Copy by chance; and though -the Law forbids such doings, as the printing -one anothers Copies, yet the great ones commonly -devour and eat up the little ones, and -will venture on it being but a small thing; and -it may be this young man is indebted to the -other: and indeed it is a usual thing, and we do -<span class='pageno' id='Page_206'>206</span>such Jobbs very frequently, especially for the -Grand ones of the Company. But how comes -it, said my Master, that some or other do not -print their Copies, as Testaments, Psalters, <em>&c.</em> -As for that, said the Printer, it is very dangerous, -for if they were taken, it belonging to the -whole Company, they would be sure to seize on -it, and sue the party so offending; besides, the -books are too big for every one to venture on, & -will lie too long in hand a doing; but sometimes -such things are done, but in another way, as I -can tell. Thus ended my Master and the Printer -their Discourse of this matter, and my Master -desired the printer to call on him some -times, and he would drink with him; and -it may be have some employment for him, and -thus they parted. My Master now understanding -thus much of his Trade, more than formerly, -was resolved it should not be long ere he -were doing somewhat: thus pondering in his -mind, he could not tell what design to begin with, -for we sold very little but priveledged Ware, and -those it was dangerous medling with, neither -would my Masters stock reach to any thing considerable; -at last resolving to play at small game -rather then stand out, he bethought himself, and -resolved to print the <em>A B C</em>, a little Childs -book of a sheet of paper: he knew not then what -printer to intrust, for he durst not make use of -the former Printer, lest he should acquaint his -Dealer; but it was not long ere he light upon -one fit for his purpose, and to work he went, -my master sending in paper, and so they were -printed, delivered, and paid for, but when my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_207'>207</span>Master had them, he knew not how to dispose -of them, lest he should be caught; but that he -might have the better pretence, he went and -bought 300 of them of his Dealer, and so laying -them by, sold his own, and being acquainted -with a primer-binder, he got him to exchange -with him for primers, and such like small books -he was rid of most of them to his great profit, -for he gained, as I have heard him say, above -five pounds by that jobb, which was then a great -deal of money, and by this means his Shop -was better furnished with small books & paper, -and now he had good credit with the paper-Merchant, -which before he could not have. Not -long after, the Printer who had printed the <em>A B C</em> -came to him and acquainted him, that if he would -venture a matter of ten pounds, he might be concerned -in printing of a book that would turn to a -very good account and it may be get twenty -pound by the bargain: he having had such good -success in the last, ventures upon this, it was a -Sermon that then sold very well, and he had another -partner, and my Master having some money -by him, and pretty good credit at the paper-merchants; -he found paper, and the other paid for -printing, and at two places it was done in a -Week; my master putting them out in <em>London</em> -to the <em>Mercuries</em> and others at one penny a piece -less then the ordinary rate, and his partner dealing -with Country-Chapmen, sent good store away -into the Country; and thus, though this was -another mans Coppy, they sold all their books in -a short time, and gained 25<em>l.</em> a piece. This was -a good beginning, said I to the Bookseller, and I -<span class='pageno' id='Page_208'>208</span>did not think your Trade had been so profitable; -but now I believe, that these courses being prosecuted, -a considerable Estate may be gained in -a short time: that you shall soon hear, replied he: -but the Discourse being somewhat long, I shall -for the present end, and prosecute the rest in the -following Chapter.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He proceeds in the discovery of his Masters ways in -cheating, in preferring some Copies, and other -ways of getting Copies.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My Master having now had some experience -in this way of printing, was resolved to -play above board, and get some Copy or Copies -to print, that he might own; which in short time -he did, and glad was he to see his name in -print, supposing himself now to be some body: -but these things did him but little good, and -sold but easily, he not having the way of preferring -books, and sending them to some Country -Chapmen, and the rest of the booksellers, -who endeavor to crush any beginner, and will -not sell his books, unless they may have them -at their own rate, would not sell any of them -<span class='pageno' id='Page_209'>209</span>for him? and besides, now he gave Mony for -his Copies, the other costing him nothing: and -though a book be never so good, they will not -sell with some men, for the others will undervalue -and spoil it: as for example, If my Master -had printed at that time the best book of -Chirurgery, Husbandry, Cookery, or the like -in the World, and though the book had been -famous enough, so that every one desired it, and -asked at any booksellers shop for it, they would -have said to their Customers, Truly Sir, there is -such a book, but in regard it is a foolish idle -thing, and of no weight, I have not any of -them, I will not trouble my shop with them; -but Sir, here is another of the same Subject, -that is much better, and in great esteem with ingenious -and knowing men: If the Customer replies -he would have only that book and no other, -for that it was recommended to him for an -ingenious well-writ piece, then will he reply, -Truly Sir, I never heard any of your judgement -before, till now I was never asked for them; but -since you speak so well of it, I will procure you -one: and then it may be, for all this Discourse -he will shew you one, as if left by chance, or -else send to his neighbour-bookseller for one. -Thus will he disparage other mens books, and -prize his own, and many times put off some of -his own, the buyer being so civil as to believe -him: and this is a general Maxime, That they -will not offer, or prefer a book of any mans -printing except their own, unless they have it -either in exchange or at a low rate; and this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_210'>210</span>is the cause that there are some books as considerable, -and good as any in <em>England</em>, that did -not sell at first for little better than wast paper, -till some of the Grand ones of the Company -get them all into their hands, and then they sell -for three times the price they did. But to leave -this Discourse and proceed, my Master having -now printed two or three things, did look upon -himself as somebody; and though he had -not such good success in his last undertakings as -before, yet he made a shift to get what they cost -him for paper and print, and had many of them -still by him to sell when he would, or exchange; -but he having but two or three sorts of books, -could not do much good upon that: he seeing -this, and observing what books sold best, it being -at the beginning of these late Wars, found -that factious Sermons, and such like things -would do the business; he thereupon bestirs -himself, and gets acquainted with most of the -factious Priests about Town, by often hearing -them and frequenting their Companies, and -having learned to write short-hand, took notes -of their Sermons, which he collected together, -and now and then he would get them to revise -one of them, and print it; by this means spending -much time and mony amongst them, he -grew very intimate, and was become the general -publisher of most of their Sermons and Controversies. -This was that which brought him great -gain, in a short time he could vie with the -best, what he sold not for mony, he exchanged -for books: and now he could command any -<span class='pageno' id='Page_211'>211</span>book in all the Company without mony, upon -account, as is the Custome. His Shop being well -furnished, he gets a Ware-house, where he bestowed -his books in quires; and being thus furnished, -he was first spoken to by some Country -booksellers, and then writ to by them and other, -for severall books, so that any thing that -he printed he could sell off well enough; for -having good hap to print some very good selling -books, they helped away the other that were -not so good, and still were thrust into the parcel -among the rest: and now having some good -Authors, he would not accept of every one; and -as he formerly had sought for, and courted Authors -to write books for him, now they (knowing -his way of preferring and selling of books) -followed, and courted him to print their books. -If a stranger came with a Copy to him, though -never so good, he would tell them he had books -enough already; but however, if they would give -him so much money, he would do it, and they -should have two, or three, or six books for themselves -and friends: many a one did he thus perswade -out of their mony, being desirous to be -in print. If he had a desire to have any thing -writ in History, Poetry, or any other Science or -Faculty, he had his several Authors, who for a -glass of Wine, and now and then a meals Meat -and half a Crown, were his humble servants; -having no other hire but that, and six or twelve -of their books, which they presented to friends -or persons of Quality; nay, and when they -have had success, if they wanted any more books, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_212'>212</span>they must pay for them: further I have known -some of our Trade, that when a poor Author -hath written a book, and being acquainted with -some Person or persons of Quality whereto he -Dedicates and presents it, the Book-seller will -go snips and have half shares of what is so given -him. My Master being now gotten to the -height of his Trade, was soon called on to be -one of the Livery of his Company, which -though it be somewhat chargeable at first, yet -it soon brings in profit, there being many conveniences -therein; for they have liberty to put -in a sum of money into the publike Stock, and -so great is their profit, that they have seldome -less then twenty <em>per cent</em>, and then when, they -come to be Stock-keepers or Warden they -have the disposing of the Stock-books, such as -are Testaments, Psalters, <em>&c.</em> and putting them -out to print, they often print so many over-numbers, -that shall serve them as long as they -live. In particular, there is no Trade that I ever -heard of, that gets so much by their Commodity -for whatever they print, if it sels, they -get eight pence in the shilling: and for those -that deal with Country-Chapmen, they put off -the bad well enough at one time or another; and -if they are very bad, then a new title is printed -as if it were a new book; and what with this and -changing, they march off in time.</p> - -<p class='c000'>There was one preacher in <em>London</em> that my -Master was much respective to, for he had gained -much money by printing several of his -books (and though my Master in outward appearance -<span class='pageno' id='Page_213'>213</span>seems a Saint, yet he hath his freaks, -and will be merry with his friends, and be prophane -enough.) One Sunday my master having -been rambling in the fields, entred the City -in the afternoon just as sermon was done, and -seeing this parson going before him, he stept -forwards, and overtaking him, salutes him thus, -Sir, I am glad to see you so well, indeed Sir, you -have this day taken a great deal of pains, and we -are all beholden to you for your Soul-saving Sermon: -how say you, said the Parson, what do you -mean? Why Sir, I thank you for your Sermon you -preached this afternoon: Nay, now Sir, said the -Parson, I see you are mistaken, for I have not preached -this day, my master hearing this, was wonderfully -surprized, not knowing what to say, but -left the Parson and came home discontented at -his error. We having several Country-Chapmen, -some whereof owed my master considerable -sums of mony, he took occasion to go into the -Countrey, and to be sure, he would make it worth -his Journeys for at every considerable Town he -would buy some books, and sell them at the next, -or send them up to <em>London</em>, and sometimes whole -Libraries; and he did take order with all his -Chapmen to acquaint him with all Libraries or -parcels of books that were to be sold, which if -worth the buying he would have. He would also -frequent the Schools, and by drinking with -the School-masters, and discoursing of books -and learned men, he would get their custome to -serve them with School-books. There was one -famous Country-Parson whom he much desired -<span class='pageno' id='Page_214'>214</span>to be acquainted with, and to him he rid, telling -him he was troubled in mind, and desired him -to satisfie him in a case of Conscience, the which -he did; and then for his satisfaction, and to -oblige him, he prayed and courted him to see him -when he came to <em>London</em>, the which he did, and -all this was to get the printing of his books. If -a Customer comes into our Shop to buy a book, -he hath such ways of preferring and recommending -of it, that they seldom go and not buy, for -he will open the book, and if it be Divinity, -shew them one place or another, out of which -he will preach to them, and tell them, that very -saying or discourse is worth all the money in -the world and if they do not like it when they -have read it over, he will take it again: and so -many of our Trade will promise, but you shall -hardly ever get your money again, you may -chance to have them exchange it for some other -book, which they will be willing to do if -there be money stirring in the case. My Master -having had a book written for him by a Poet, -the Author (not having the wit to make his -bargain, and know what he should have beforehand) -when he had finished it, desired payment -for his pains: Nay, said my master, you -ought rather to pay me for printing it, and making -you famous in print. Well then, said the -Author, if you will not give me money, I hope -you will give me some books. How, said my -master, give you books, what will you have me -forswear my Trade, and be a book-giver? I am -a book-seller, and to you I will sell them as soon -<span class='pageno' id='Page_215'>215</span>as to another, if you will give me money, paper -and print costs money, and this was all the -Author could have for his pains. My Master is -now one of the Grandees of the Company, and -that besides the ordinary way gets him something. -Not long since, he and others went a searching, -and finding an impression of unlicensed books, -seized them, but instead of suppressing and turning -them to wast paper, they divided the greatest -part of them amongst themselves, and immediately -my Master sent some of them away to all -his Chapmen, and the rest we sell in the Shop. It -so fell out lately; that a book being to be Printed, -my Master repaired to the Author to get the -Copy, but another of the same Trade had been -there before, to whom it was in part promised; -but however (out of respect to my Master) the -other being sent for, it was agreed that they should -have the printing of it between them; whereupon -one printer was imployed by them both to do the -work. My Master soon after sent for the Printer, -and tells him, You must do me a kindness: Yes -Sir, said the printer. It is this, said my Master, -I am to give away to the Authour some Books, -wherefore I would have you to print 200 for me -above the number, and do not tell my Partner, -and I will pay you: Yes, said the Printer, and so -he did, and was paid for them accordingly. -But the Printer seeing the knavery of his imployers -(for the other had been with him; and -engaged him to print the same number of 200 -over, pretending some private use he had for -them) he likewise printed 400 over for his own -<span class='pageno' id='Page_216'>216</span>use, and publiquely sold them; and neither of -them could or would complain of him to the -other, because they knew themselves guilty of the -same crime.</p> - -<p class='c000'>One of the greatest pieces of profit the whole -Company hath, is the printing of Almanacks, -for by that, I believe, they clear above 1000<em>l.</em> -<em>per annum</em>: but a knavish Printer lately outwitted -them, for he printed a great number of -Almanacks, and though he printed but two -sorts, yet they served for all the other sorts, only -altering the Title page, at the beginning, and the -last sheet which we call the <em>Prog</em>, or <em>Prognostication</em>; -and these Almanacks he affording cheaper -then ordinary, as indeed well he might, he sold -off a good number of them, which was to his -gain and their great hinderance; but he is lately -discovered, and how they will deal with him I -know not.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In the late times of Liberty, when every one -printed what they pleased, if one Bookseller -printed a book that sold, another would get it -printed in a lesser Character, and so the book -being less in bulk, though the same in matter, -would sell it for a great deal less price, and so -undersell one another: and of late there hath -been hardly a good book but it is epitomized, -and for the most part spoiled, only for a little -gain: so that few books that are good, are now -printed, only Collections and patches out of several -books; and Booksellers employing the -meaner sort of Authors in spoiling anothers Copies -by such Epitomies.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_217'>217</span>A young man being lately to set up, was a -suiter to my Master to speak to the Company to -lend him 50<em>l.</em> for a certain time without interest, -as is customary: for there are several sums of -money left the Company so to be disposed of, for -the benefit of young beginners. My Master -knowing his power in general, particularly promised -to effect his desires, provided that the young -man would agree to lay out his money when received -with him; telling him, he would use him -well therein: but whether he did or no, you may -guess, for he kept not open shop above six -moneths before he broke, and is now gone for a -Souldier, and the Company in general likely to -loose the money. This, replied I, is one of the -worst acts I have yet heard of, if it were intentionally -done, for it is an abuse of the Donors -will; but I see it is not material with some men, -if they get money, how they come by it: but -I pray, let me hear the rest of your story. That -you shall, said the Bookseller, but first let us -drink; which he having done, and I pledged, -he proceeded, as you may hear in this following -Chapter.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_218'>218</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Book-sellers Prentice having discovered his -Masters way of Cheating, now discovers his -own.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Thus, said the Bookseller, have I given you a -summary account of the most part of my -Masters dealing, and the main way how he gained -his Estate; for at this time he hath a shop very -well furnished with all sorts of bound Books, and -two or three Warehouses full of Books in quires; -he hath above 1000<em>l.</em> owing him by Country-Chapmen; -some Estate he hath in Land and -Houses, and a very good Stock in the Hall, and -all this is acquired in six years time out of nothing; -and in this account of my Masters dealing, -I have acquainted you with the greatest -mysteries of our Trade: but, said I to him, I must -confess you have told me those things I was not -only ignorant of, but what I could not have -believed could have been done, and so great an -Estate could have been gained by the bookselling -Trade, especially from so small a beginning as -an <em>A B C</em>: but all this while the mystery is not -disclosed; for though you have told me how your -Master gets money, yet I hear nothing of your -gains, neither indeed can I as yet conjecture how -you should be furnished with money; for I suppose -<span class='pageno' id='Page_219'>219</span>you keep an account of what you receive and -pay, and that your Master takes care to look into -his accounts, that no great matter can be gained -that way. 'Tis very true, replied the Bookseller, -he does so; and as he is of a false knavish temper -himself, so he is suspitious of me, and very vigilant -and watchful over me: but do you think, -that I who have observed all his ways and crafty -dealing, cannot find a way to be even with him, -and put money into my own pocket? and indeed -he does allow of my knavery and craftiness in -over-reaching of others; for he in general is -accounted the fittest servant of our Trade, that -can out-wit and over-reach his brother-Bookseller; -for it is not so much our keeping Shop, and -selling a few Books to Scholars, Parsons, Gentlemen, -nor sending to Country-Chapmen, for -in that we use a constant price, and there is -not much wit or craft to be used therein; but -the craftiest part of our profession consisteth in -making an Exchange-note with other Booksellers -to the best advantage; and there is our -greatest prize: for if any of our Chapmen send -to us for Books, such as we do not print, and -such as we are not at present furnished withal, -then away we go to that Bookseller who is best -furnished with them, and desire to make a Note -with him, which he (being desirous to sort himself -with some of our Books) willingly consents -to; then do we commonly pretend least use for -those Books we most want, otherwise we should -be sure to go without them, unless we took -many of other sorts, that were little better then -waft paper; and so we, by telling our brother -<span class='pageno' id='Page_220'>220</span>Bookseller that of such a Book they are almost -gone, and the like, we put off the greatest -number of our worst Books, and the fewest of -our best; and being indifferent of taking any -quantity of those we most need, we commonly -have most put upon us; and so are furnished with -what we desire: and in this way of exchanging -Books for Books, we have the most occasion of -exercising our wits, and many times receive commendations -from our Masters for so doing; and -when we meet with one another, the business -being over, triumph over those we have thus -outwitted.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This business of Exchanging brings us Prentices -acquainted with each other more then any -thing else, for that this matter is commonly left -to our management; and on this acquaintance -depends the greatest part of our profit: for though -we can sometimes when we take money in the -Shop put up half a Crown or a Crown for a Book -that our Master knows not of, yet that is but -seldome, and little Money is given us, unless it -be by the better sort of Customers, whose Books -we carry home, and then perhaps we may have -a shilling or two bestowed on us; but this is -nothing in respect of our other profit, which I shall -now tell you of.</p> - -<p class='c000'>We trading for a great deal to Chapmen into -the Country, do print very much, and sometimes -one Book is printed very often, and a -number of 25 or 50 cannot be so discovered: -sometimes we are in fee with the Printer, procure -him to print such a number over for us, -which he consents to, that he may do as many -<span class='pageno' id='Page_221'>221</span>for himself: and then for the manner of our selling -of them, it is by Combination, Confederacy, -and Correspondency, which some of us Apprentices -have with each other; for we have our -Warehouse as well as our Master, and are furnished -with much variety; every one of the Combination -bringing some quantity to this joynt-Stock, -of what his Master printeth; and then as -occasion serveth we furnish each other: but the -chiefest way of making money of these, is by -three or four young Booksellers, who being newly -set up do buy them of us, it may be two pence -in the shilling cheaper then they can buy them -of our Masters: we have ready money, or at furthest -when they have sold them; and to this end -we have commonly one of these Booksellers in -every considerable place of Trading about Town, -and sometimes we employ a rambling Bookseller -to go a Birding, and offer them at places, and -oftentimes our Masters buy some of their own -Books of this Ubiquitarian-Bookseller; and one -or two being intrusted with management of the -Stock, gives account to all the rest; and so we -divide the profit; at other times we being employed -by our Masters to get in Books for our -Country-Chapmen, we inform them that the Book -being out of print we cannot have it without -ready money, and then we being ordered to get -them, (for our Customers must be served) we have -them out of our own Stock, and put the ready -money into our pockets. Sometimes I have -gotten fourty or fifty shillings by being partners -with one of the young Booksellers in printing a -Pamphlet; and if it be an unlicensed thing, we -sell them privately to Customers in the Shop; if -<span class='pageno' id='Page_222'>222</span>a factious thing, we have our factious Customers; -if obscene or wanton, we accordingly are provided -with those that buy them: and thus with these -ways, and some others which are too long to relate -at this time, I can make a shift to spend -fourty or fifty pound a year, to keep my suit of -private cloaths, and to allow my Wench eight -shillings a week, to whom I constantly pay that -Portion; and I think my share of the Stock at -present may amount to fourty pound. And thus -you see, that though so many thousands go through -the Scriveners hands, and so few through mine, -yet I can make a shift to get some money out of -our paper, as well as he out of his parchment; -and I doubt not, but when I come out of my -time, to do as well as the best of our trade; for -having learnt so much in this Art, I question not -but I shall put it in practice to my advantage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did he put an end to his Discourse; and -drinking a Pot or two more of Beer, having had -some other merry discourse about the Scriveners -Wench, and such like other matters, we parted; -he, to go meet with some of his brother Booksellers, -to take account of their private Stock; -and I, to my Masters about my ordinary Imployments, -still ruminating in my mind of all the passages -that these two Blades the Scrivener and -Bookseller had related to me; and from thence -did conclude, that I should find all the rest of -our Clubbing-brethren stored with the same Discourses; -and now I meditated on nothing more -then how I might get money enough, for that -was the only thing that made crooked things -straight; and if a man have enough of that, he -may defie all men. It can make knees bow, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_223'>223</span>tongues speak against the native genius of the -groaning heart; it supples more then oyl or fomentations, -and can stiffen beyond the Summers -Sun, or the Winters white-bearded cold. In this -we differ from the ancient Heathen; they made -<em>Jupiter</em> their chief God, and we have crowned -<em>Pluto</em>. He is Master of the <em>Muses</em>, and can buy -their Voyce; the <em>Graces</em> wait on him, <em>Mercury</em> is -his Messenger, <em>Mars</em> comes to him for pay, <em>Venus</em> -is his prostitute; he can make <em>Vesta</em> break her -vow, he can have <em>Bacchus</em> be merry with him, -and <em>Ceres</em> feast him when he lists; he is the sick -mans <em>Æsculapius</em>, and the <em>Pallas</em> of an empty -brain; nor can <em>Cupid</em> cause Love, but by his -Golden-headed Arrow. Money is a general man, -and without doubt excellently parted: <em>Petronius</em> -describes his Qualities.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Quisquis habet nummos, secura naviget aura:</em></span></div> - <div class='line in2'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Fortunamque suo temperet arbitrio.</em></span></div> - <div class='line'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Vxorem ducat Danaen, ipsumque licebit</em></span></div> - <div class='line in2'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Acrisium jubeat credere quod Danaen:</em></span></div> - <div class='line'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Carmina componat, declamat, concrepat, omnes</em></span></div> - <div class='line in2'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Et peragat Causas, fitque Catone prior.</em></span></div> - <div class='line'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Jurisconsultus, paret, non paret: habeto;</em></span></div> - <div class='line in2'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Atque esto, quicquid Servius aut Labeo</em></span></div> - <div class='line'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Multo loquar: quidvis nummis præsentibus opta,</em></span></div> - <div class='line in2'><span lang="la" xml:lang="la"><em>Et veniet: clausum possidet Arca Jovem.</em></span></div> - </div> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>The Monyed-man can safely sayl all Seas,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And make his fortune as himself shall please:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>He can wed</em> Danae, <em>and command that now</em></div> - <div class='line'>Acrisius <em>self that fatal Match allow:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em><span class='pageno' id='Page_224'>224</span>He can declaim, chide, censure, Verses write,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And do all things better then</em> Cato <em>might.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>He knows the Law, and rules it, hath and is</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Whole</em> Servius, <em>and what</em> Labeo <em>could possess.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>In brief, let rich men wish whatsoere they love,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>'Twill come, they in a lock’d Chest keep a</em> Jove.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>And to conclude, as it commands Gods and -Goddesses, so all sorts of men and women are -obedient to him that has the command of this -God Money; and therefore I was resolved to put -in for a share of it.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_225'>225</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Relater with the Scrivener and Bookseller and -their Wenches being merry in a Tavern, fall out -with other Company, and are sent by an Alderman -to the Counter. The Relater in revenge cheats the -Alderman of his Scarlet Gown, which is converted -into Petticoats for the three Wenches.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I having thus gained an intimate acquaintance -with all these my Brother-Clubbers, did set -forth my own good parts; and they having been -open with me in the discovery of their manner -of living, and how they furnished themselves -with money even to superfluity, I was as free to -them in relating many actions of my forepassed -life; by which means they found me the more fit -for their society: and I having passed through -variety of conditions, as having been of several -Trades, and informing them of several mysterious -Cheats which I had performed in them, they all -took a very great liking to me; but there was -none whom I so much affected as the Scrivener -and Bookseller, because I found them the best -stored with money; and I often accompanied them -to their Wenches, where we had extraordinary -Treatments, and such Company as exceeded all -the rest; for I had my lass as well as they; and -though I paid nothing of the reckoning, yet my -Wench was often as well provided for as theirs; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_226'>226</span>for I furnished her with Cloaths equal to any of -them, and then the less money served the turn. -We three being one night at a Tavern with our -Wenches, where we passed a Winters evening in -their pleasing society, our spirits being raised -with wine, and the harmony of Musick joyned to -our Ladies voyces, in which they all three were -very excellent; It happened that their harmony -begot a desire in the people in the next Room to -be attentive to our Musick: the Scrivener desiring -his Lady to sing a particular new Song alone, she -consented thereunto, and performed it very well, -with good applause: one person in the next room, -who had given attention thereto, and had lately -been in company with the Singer, knowing her -Voyce, was resolved by one means or other to see -and drink with her; and thereupon leaving his -Company, he came into our Room, and civilly -asking leave, saluted the Ladies, and took acquaintance -with the Scriveners Mistress: she being -somewhat displeased thereat, in short time took -occasion to tell her friend the Scrivener that she -was much troubled at this accident, and desired -his favourable interpretation of this action, for -she assured him, she only knew this person as a -retainer to the house where she lodged, he coming -to another Lady there, and not to her; and -withal she desired him, if he thought fit, to affront -and chastise him for this his unmannerly intrusion. -Her friend the Scrivener being thus informed -by his Lady, called me and the Bookseller on one -side, and acquainted us with the matter; so that -we suddenly resolved to rid ourselves of this bold -intruder: when we returned to the fire where we -<span class='pageno' id='Page_227'>227</span>left our unwelcome guest and the women, we -found him toying with them, and a little more -bold then either they or we were willing to permit -and allow of; wherefore we gave him some -angry words, which he being a bluff fellow retorted, -and we striving to force him out of the -Room, he single as he was set upon us all, to the -great affrightment of the Women, who now beginning -to squeak out, our noise occasioned the -rest of our guests Companions who were in the -next Room to come into ours, and there seeing -their Friend set on by us three, which indeed -being odds, they fell on us to his assistance: -many blows were not enterchanged, before the -Master of the house and others (being called by -the noise we made, and the clamours of the -women) entred the Room; but all they could -do, could not part us, so eager we were in defending, -as we thought, the honour of our Ladies; -so that the Constable was sent for, and we all -seized on; but refusing to be obedient, he forthwith -caused us to be conducted to the Justices, -who was an Alderman that lived not far off; we -being brought before his Worship, being as yet -hot as well with Wine as anger, could not agree -in our story, nor the occasion of our quarrel; but -glad we were when we saw that our Ladies had -slipt away, as indeed it was but time (for had -they gone with us, I doubt <em>Bridewel</em> would have -been their lodging, and they should have had -rapping cheer.) They having thus made their -escapes who were the cause of our difference, and -we every one contradicting each other in our Discourses, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_228'>228</span>the Alderman made no more ado, but -sent us all to the Counter, both Plaintiffs and -Defendants: by such time as we were well settled -in our Quarters, and had paid our Garnishes, we -all considering the matter, and at length conversing -with our Adversaries, put our quarrelsome -business in a fair way to be ended; for the -occasion being a Whore, we all agreed upon one -tale to tell the Alderman next morning; when -being brought before him, and he finding then -no difference between us, supposing that it was -only a drunken quarrel, was at length perswaded -to release us; but before we went, he forced us -to pay our fees, and likewise some money to the -poor for being drunk; all which we made a -shift to do, by borrowing of one another, and so -we were discharged.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was this business overpassed: but though -we made a shift to hide it from our Masters, pretending -some of our wonted excuses, yet the rest -of the Brethren of the Club were acquainted with -it, and we were soundly laught at, and our Wenches -applauded for their wit in making their timely -escape, or else it would have fared worse with us -as well as them, and our business must have come -to our Masters ears.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This disgrace stuck upon us a great while, for -our Companions would often ask us, when we -would go and visit Master Alderman again: wherefore -I bethought my self of a trick how to be revenged -of the Alderman, and thereby cause the -Discourse to cease: I often going by the Aldermans -house, saw him standing at his door, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_229'>229</span>he had a common custome every afternoon to -stand or sit there three or four hours together. I -waiting my opportunity, went to the Alderman, -and asked if his Maid-servant was within: which -of them, said he, <em>Nan</em> or <em>Suzan</em>? <em>Suzan</em>, quoth I: -yes, said the Alderman, What is your business -with her? May it please your Worship, said I, I -was sent hither to take measure of her for some -new cloaths: What then thou art a Taylor, said -he; I replied, yes, and so he sent me in. I being -acquainted with the Maids name (and seeing the -Alderman engaged at the door, still talking with -another person) asked for <em>Suzan</em>: when she came -to me, I told her, that her Master sent me in to -her, and wished me to ask for his Skarlet Gown, -to mend it against a feasting-day then approaching: -she knowing her Master was at the door, and -beleeving my story, went for it (I in the mean -time watching whether the Alderman still continued -at the door, for if I had seen him comming -in, I would have made my excuses and depart) -but as good luck would have it, the Maid came -and gave me the Gown, and went about her -other business; I wrapping it up under my cloak, -went again to the door where Master Alderman -was sitting, who asked me, whether I had taken -measure of his Maid; I told him, yes: What already? -said he. Yes, and please your Worship: -then thou hast made haste, said he; make her -Clothes handsome, she’s a good Wench, and -make haste with them too, and let me see that you -work well, and thou mayst do some work for -me, and in time thou mayst have good of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_230'>230</span>Wench. I (being troubled with Master Aldermans -large discourse) only replied, I shall, if it please -your Worship; and so left him, and went my ways -to the next Alehouse, where I applauded my self -for my so happy contrivance, and safe deliverance -from Master Aldermans impertinences.</p> - -<p class='c000'>After a little stay in this Alehouse, and night -coming on, I being thus fraughted with this rich -Cargo, sailed to the Tavern where we used to -meet, and the Gown being wrapt up in a cloth, -I delivered to the Drawer to lay up, and went -up into a Room, where calling for a faggot and -pint of Wine, I had not staid long ere some of -our Club came, and in short time all the rest; we -fell to merry-making, and in our jollity some of -our Company nosed us with Master Alderman: -well, said I, I suppose that jobb might cost us -twenty shillings a piece, and though Master Alderman -might put the most part of it into his pocket; -yet how say you, if I can propound a way how -to be revenged on him? My two Companions, -the Scrivener and the Bookseller, told me, if I -could do it, they would give me twenty shillings -a piece; a match, said I, I’le be judg’d by the -Company: and thereupon I told them the story, -and how I had cheated Master Alderman of his -Skarlet-Gown; and to make good my word, -caused it to be brought up, and shew’d before -them: very well pleased was the Scrivener and -Bookseller, and all the rest amazed at the boldness -of my adventure, which was by all applauded -for a great piece of wit, and my money was -by them accordingly paid me; then after a cup -<span class='pageno' id='Page_231'>231</span>or two of Wine, consideration was had, what -should be done with the Gown, and how it should -be disposed of, for we all knew it was hazardous -and dangerous to dispose of it as it was: so after -many propositions and consultations, it was at -length generally agreed on, that I should cut it -in pieces, and out of Master Aldermans Gown I -should make three Petticoats, which should be -bestowed on our three <em>Madonas</em>; and this adjudged -very fit and equitable, that they having -endured part of the brunt, should receive the -whole prize: this I assented to; and the Scrivener -and Bookseller, in regard the Gown was -mine, gave me each of them twenty shillings a -piece more, for their share of the cloath; and -also they between them furnisht me with a rich -gold and silver Lace, to be put upon my Ladies -Petticoat, equal and alike to that which was put -on theirs: and this was an end of the adventure -with Master Alderman, of whom we never enquired -how he and his maid <em>Suzan</em> agreed about -the Gown.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_232'>232</span> -<img src='images/i_b_144.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Relater and several others of the Clubbing-Prentices -assist the Drugster in putting off of some -of his Commodities; he gives them gratuities, -and relates a notable Cheat by his Master put -upon an Iron-monger.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>In this manner did we spend our time; and -though our Masters gained more money, and -dayly increased their Estates, yet we enjoyed the -greater pleasure in each others society: and now -we being all acquainted with one anothers ways, -assisted each other in all things, and there was no -want for ourselves or Wenches, who were often -at our meetings, and assisted in our mirth.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I remember one evening, a young man, a -Drugster, who was one of our Club, told us that -we must all of us assist him in a matter he was -about, and he should not only gain a good opinion -of his Master, but we should have a Piece or -two to spend; we hearing there was convenience -and profit, agreed together, soon consented -to do our utmost, and therefore desired him -to acquaint us with the matter: he thereupon -told us, that his Master had lately bought a parcel -of Drugs of two or three sorts, which did -cost him about 1000<em>l.</em> in hopes of great gain, for -they were at double the price that he would afford -<span class='pageno' id='Page_233'>233</span>his at; but they being too much for one -mans sale, he offered to sell good part of them -to some of the Trade; but they refused to buy, -unless they might have them cheaper then he -was willing to afford them, pretending that they -had no need of that Commodity, being sufficiently -furnished with the same; although we -were very certain that they could have none of -it, there being none to be had in all <em>London</em>, till -of late my Master bought this parcel that came -from beyond Sea: Now my Master being desirous -to sell his Commodity, hath considered of -a way how to make his brother-Drugsters come -to him, and pray him to sell it to them at his -price; that way is thus:</p> - -<p class='c000'>He hath desired me to get some of my acquaintance -to go to most of the Drugsters in and -about <em>London</em>, and pretending to be Apothecaries -and others that need those Commodities, to -enquire for them, and bespeak quantities thereof; -and then he knows, that not being able -of themselves to furnish them, they will repair -to him, and give him his price. Oh! said the -Bookseller, have you learned that trick? I am -very well acquainted with this manner of trade; -for we commonly use this slight to sell our -Books: for when we have printed a Book that -we doubt will not sell without preferring, and -more ado than ordinary, then we not onely Title -it upon Posts, put it into News-books, and -use several other ways to make it famous; but -we sometimes send several of our acquaintance -and friends to most Booksellers shops to inquire -<span class='pageno' id='Page_234'>234</span>for this new Book; and they coming so one after -another, at length Master Bookseller is perswaded -to buy some of them; nay, sometimes, the -more to encourage the Booksellers to buy some -quantities, we allow our friends to lay out some -moneys with them, and buy several of them; -and so the Bookseller will commonly, if he sell -one or two, buy six or a dozen; and by this -means our moneys come in again with profit. -Well, reply’d the Drugster, this course must we -take with these Drugs, or else they may prove a -very Drug to my Master; for he hath served -some of our Trade so many tricks already, -that they are very cautious how they deal with -him; but this trick of sending friends to ask for -a Commodity he hath often used, neither did -he learn it of the Bookseller: but there happened -an extraordinary chance sometime since, -and from that experience he hath taken this -course.</p> - -<p class='c000'>For there was a person who is used to make -Syringes, which Chirurgions and others use to -squirt withal in several Distempers; and this -man being out of imployment, made a great -quantity of them, and laid them by him; but -not knowing how to dispose of them, he bethought -him of this way of sending some friends -to inquire for them: and so well did he manage -his business, that by employing persons to enquire -of Drugsters and Apothecaries for them, -he not onely sold all he had made by him, -but in less than a quarter of a year, he took above -200<em>l.</em> for this Commodity: and this my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_235'>235</span>Master took notice of, and I suppose made a president -of, and now resolves upon the same course -to put off his Drugs; wherefore I desire your -utmost assistance herein, and I shall when you -please spend a Piece or two in a Collation. All -our Club-fraternity agreed on this, and promised -to be active here: and thus resolving on -our next time of meeting, we parted.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I for my part, the next day accoutring my -self in a Country Gentile-garb, went to several -Drugsters, and asked for several Drugs, whose -names I had gotten; but amongst all, I more earnestly -desired a good quantity of those that -were to be thus put off, telling them I was a -Country-Apothecary, and should call three or -four days after again, and lay out a considerable -sum of money with them. I having done -this for my part, and the rest of our associates -having been as diligent, we meeting three days -after together, our Drugster told us, that his -Master had sold all his Commodities to very -great profit; and therefore, said he, This Collation, -and each of you a Crown more to buy -Gloves, is my Masters charge, and he desires you -to accept thereof; which we accordingly did, -being glad we had done so good service to him -and his Master.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I understanding by this, that there were tricks -and cheats in this Trade as well as others, was -desirous to be acquainted with the manner of -their Trading; and he being but a Novice, told -me, he could not tell me much of it, but he was -very sensible that there was much knavery in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_236'>236</span>that Mystery, in mixing and sophisticating their -Drugs, and getting the spirits of some of them -away, and renewing it in others, as served to -their profit: and, pursued he, I have one trick -whereby my Master gets some money in a -year; for it being customary to give a Pipe of -Tobacco to any one that comes into the Shop, -and desires it, I give them of that which is very -good; and they liking thereof, and the price, -commonly buy of the same, and sometimes a -quantity, desiring it may be still of the same they -have tasted; the which I promise to do, and before -their eyes take it out of the same box; but -the knack of it is this, it is for all that a different -and worser sort of Tobacco; for the Tobacco -that I gave them as a taste, is onely placed in -one corner of the box for that purpose, and so -it goes off, as if it were all of the same; and sometimes -we put off a whole Roll of Tobacco in the -same manner: for the outside-roll is of good -Spanish right, but all the inner-part is Mundungoes, -worth a groat a Cart-load.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But this is nothing to what ways my Master -hath; and he lately exercised his wits to a pretty -profitable account, and thus it was: My Master -among other sorts of Drugs, had bought a -quantity of Dragons-bloud, being pieces of -wood, dipped, as is supposed, or rather pretended, -in Dragons-bloud; and this is good in Physick, -and for other uses: this Commodity not -proving very good, my Master had a great desire -to put it off, but could not get any body to -buy of it: he had been not only with Drugsters, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_237'>237</span>but also with some Iron-mongers to sell it, for -they use it about their Locks, and other Iron-work, -to keep them from rust; but no person -was willing to deal with him about it. My Master -had a Neighbour that was an Iron-monger, -whom he had a great desire to deal withal; but -he being a wary young man, and hearing that -my Master was a snap, refused all dealing with -him: and some words passed that displeased my -Master, and therefore he resolved to be avenged; -and thereupon having designed his business, with -the help of two Confederates, he thus puts it in -execution.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He gave a small quantity of this Dragons-bloud -to one of his Confederates, who having -full instructions, went to the Iron-mongers -house, and seeing him standing at the door, asked -him if he wanted not some of that Commodity, -shewing the same to him: No, said the -Iron-monger. I was informed, said the man, -that you sometimes deal in it, and was recommended -by a friend to come to you; and if you -please to deal with me, I shall use you very kindly. -To this the Iron-monger replyed, that he -needed not any of it. But, said the other, I suppose -you sell of it to others sometimes, and may -therefore do me a courtesie, and your self too, -for I have not a shop to sell it in, and am a stranger; -wherefore, if you please, I shall leave this -parcel with you, and you putting it on your stall -may happen on a Customer, which if you do, I -can furnish you with more; and thus you, without -laying out any money, may get some profit. -The Iron-monger hearing of this, and conceiving -<span class='pageno' id='Page_238'>238</span>the man to be honest and harmless, consented -to his desire, entertained the condition and -the goods, and enquired further of the price; the -man telling him that he understood it was worth -three shillings <em>per</em> pound, but he would willingly -take two shillings eight pence, because he might -have profit; and telling him that he would call -on him in a weeks time: and they at this time -parted.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And thus the Iron-monger having received -the Commodity, put some of it out every -day on his Stall, till at length a man coming by, -and seeing that to lye there, and the Master of -the shop at the door, asked him the price thereof; -the Iron-monger told him three shillings -<em>per</em> pound. The Customer desired to look further -into it, desiring to know how much he had -of it; Truely, said the Iron-monger, I cannot -tell, but I suppose, if we agree, I can furnish -you with a good quantity. Why, said the Customer, -I will give you two shillings eight pence -<em>per</em> pound for it, if you have 500 <em>lib.</em> of it. Well, -said the Iron-monger, call here a day or two -hence, and I will resolve you, and it is like we -may deal together: Thus at present they parted. -But he came again the next day, and the -day following, pretending great earnestness to -buy the Commodity: in the mean time the -Iron-monger waited and watched narrowly to -see and speak with the man that left it there, -but could not meet with him, for he stayed away -on purpose; and this Customer that came to buy -was likewise the other of my Masters Confederates, -and sent by him for that purpose. At -<span class='pageno' id='Page_239'>239</span>length the Iron-monger standing at his door, -saw the man who left the Dragons bloud passing -by his door, and called to him, and then discoursed -seriously with him about the matter, as, -what would be his lowest price, and what quantity -he had? To both these Questions he answered, -He would take two shillings six pence; -and the quantity he had was 500 <em>lib.</em> The Iron-monger -hearing this, and resolving now to deal, -told him, that he thought it was too dear; but -if he would take two shillings four pence, he -thought he might buy all his quantity. To this -the Seller replyed, That it was too cheap; but -taking all, and paying him ready mony, he would -do it. The Iron-monger replyed, That ready -money was two months: but, said he, If I deal, -you shall have half down at the delivery, and -the other half at three months: to this they -both agreed. But the Iron-monger being cautious, -would not at present fully conclude, referring -the ending the Bargain to two days, in the -mean time resolving to see if his Customer came -that was to buy; and then enquiring the name -and habitation of the Seller, they parted.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Long had not the Iron-monger waited, but -his buying Customer came by, and as earnestly -as formerly desired to buy the Commodity; the -which now the Iron-monger agreed to sell at -two shillings eight pence <em>per</em> pound, and to be -paid at weighing; and that he might be sure of -his Customer, he takes ten shillings in part of -payment, and appoints two days thence to finish -the bargain. Thus did the Iron-monger reckon -to gain 500 Groats, which is 8<em>l.</em> 3<em>s.</em> 4<em>d.</em> Besides, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_240'>240</span>he was resolved to have all ready money, -and to pay but half; but he reckoned without -his Host, as I shall presently tell you: for the -Seller of the Dragons-bloud coming the next -day, finished his bargain, delivered his Commodity, -received his money, and took a Bill from -the Iron-monger for the moiety of his money -to be paid in three months. But now the Iron-monger -had the Commodity, he might go look -for a Customer; for he that left the ten shillings -came no more, and the Commodity lay still on -his hands; at which he was fretted, but could -not help himself.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Master having thus managed this affair by -these two Confederates, received the mony, and -had the Bill assigned to him, giving both his Confederates -something for their pains.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He having thus done the Iron-monger’s business, -was not contented with the profit alone, -but was resolved to vex him; and therefore -when he passed by his shop, he asked him if he -would buy any Dragons-bloud. No, said the -other, I can sell you some. I’ll buy, said my Master; -but when he saw it, and heard the price, -he told him, No, he could sell him as good as -that for 12 <em>d. per</em> pound. At this the Iron-monger -was more vexed; but not knowing how -to help himself, was forced to rest contented; -at length the three months came, and then my -Master was resolved to shew all his anger, and -vex the Iron-monger more, and therefore went -himself to demand the money that was due: the -Iron-monger answered him, that he owed him -none: Whereupon he produced his bill, and a -<span class='pageno' id='Page_241'>241</span>Letter of Attorney; and then he too late perceived -how he had been served. For my Master -told him, that now he would be even with -him, for refusing to deal with him, and abusing -him. The other said, it was a cheat, and he -would make him bring out the party that bought -it, giving him ten shillings in part of payment. -That shall I do quickly, said my Master, but -it will be small to your gain: and then told him -the name of the man, and that he was not worth -a farthing, and a Prisoner in the Kings-bench. -At this the Iron-monger being much more vexed -then before, told my Master that he would -not pay him, and bid him take his course; the -which he did the next morning, and arresting -him, soon brought the case to a tryal, and having -an absolute bill for payment of the money, -cast the Iron-monger; who advising with his -Lawyers, went to <em>Westminster</em> for a <em>Writ of Error</em>, -which he gained: but when he came back -with it, thinking to stop Execution, he found -that he came too late; for my Master doubting -some such business, never left till he served the -Execution, so that when the poor Iron-monger -came back with his <em>Writ of Error</em>, he found -the Bayliffs and my Master in his shop, in possession -of his goods; and he being out of Moneys -at present, was forced to let my Master have all -his Dragons-bloud again at twelve pence <em>per</em> -pound, and so in that and other Commodities -paying his Debt and Charges, and giving each -other general Releases (which my Master earnestly -insisted on, and without which my Master -would do nothing, the Iron-monger being in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_242'>242</span>a strait) they made an end of this bargain: and -now the Iron-monger, when he came to a second -reckoning of his bargain, found, that instead of -getting 8<em>l.</em> 3<em>s.</em> 4<em>d.</em> he had lost 33<em>l.</em> 3<em>s.</em> 4<em>d.</em> besides -all his Cost; and my Master thus having -gained by his Commodity, sold it since to another -for one shilling six pence <em>per</em> pound. And this, -said the Drugster, is but one of my Masters ways -to get money.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This young fellow had taken a great deal of -pains to discover every particular of his Masters -late bargain: from what he had related, I concluded -the Master to be a very cunning practitioner -in the Mysterious Art of <em>Knavery</em>, and -therefore I was desirous to be acquainted with -him; and knowing that he was but a young -man himself, and also desirous of acquaintance, -I found no great difficulty to attain to my desires, -which I soon after accomplished, as I shall relate -to you in the next Chapter.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_243'>243</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Relater and the Drugsters Master come acquainted, -being concerned in Tryals at Law: -their several Cases they relate to each other.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>My Master having much dealing, had many -Debts owing him, and he was forced to -sue some persons to get in his monies; and I -having delivered a parcel of Clothes, was <i>sub-pœna’d</i> -to attend to testifie the same in Court, upon -a Tryal which my Master was to have with -his Debtor. I attended the Court when Tryal -of the Cause should be call’d, several hours; and -there did I meet with the young Drugster, who -was likewise waiting upon some such like occasion: -we both having leisure, and his servant -having told him that I principally assisted in -putting off his Drugs, he to gratifie me, offered -me a Pint of Wine. I accepted his kindness, and -to the Tavern we went, where he again thanked -me for the courtesie I had done him; and -then he enquired my business at the Court. I -told him, it was upon a Tryal of my Masters, -who sued one for money for a suit of Clothes. -That is strange, said he, that any should refuse -to pay for work when done. True, said I, but -he pretends that there is somewhat more then -ordinary in the Case, as indeed there is, if well -<span class='pageno' id='Page_244'>244</span>understood; and knowing you to be ingenious, -I shall relate it to you. A person had occasion to -have a suit of Clothes made, and would not entrust -my Master to buy the Cloth; but having -enquired how much would do the business, my -Master told him five yards and a half, to make -a suit and large coat. The other supposing that -five yards would do the business, and the half -yard be saved, bought but five; and bringing -it home, desired my Master to cut it out before -him; and if there wanted any more cloth, it -should be supplyed. My Master seeing himself distrusted, -was resolved to be even with his Customer; -and to cutting of it out he went: first, he -cut out the Doublet, and then the Breeches; but -instead of one pair of Breeches, he cut out two -pair, perswading the Customer that it was but -one; and when he came to cut out the coat, -there was a great deal of cloth wanting; so that -the Gentleman was forced to buy a yard more -of cloth, the which he saw cut out likewise; and -though he was cheated before his face, could not -discover it; my Master serving him well enough: -for whereas he intended but to get half a -yard of cloth by him, he now saved a whole -one.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The suit was made up, and the Gentleman -wore it: but as yet not being fully satisfied, -coming into company with another Taylor, he -asked how much cloth might be in that suit and -coat. The Taylor replyed, Five yards: the Gentleman -said he bought six, and saw it all cut out -and put into the clothes. The Taylor wondring -hereat, told him, that he would make him a suit -<span class='pageno' id='Page_245'>245</span>and coat full as large as that with five yards. -The Gentleman agreed; and more cloth was -bought, delivered to the Taylor, and the suit -made accordingly. The Gentleman not as yet -having paid my Master his bill, refused to do it, -pretending he is cheated, but not knowing how; -and this day we are to have a Tryal, and I question -not, but I who am my Masters chief witness, -shall be able to out wit the other Master-Taylor, -who is here in Court ready to testifie against us. -How do you mean to order your matters? said -the Drugster. Truely, said I, in one word, I will -make oath, that all the Gentlemans six yards of -cloth was cut out and made up, in Doublet, -Breeches and Coat, as indeed it was; but I do -not say, how many pair of Breeches; and I suppose, -they not suspecting me, will not be curious -in asking the question.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Drugster was so well pleased in my relation -of the story, that he told me his Case, which -said he, is this. I have had some little misfortunes -in the world, and people have lately called -on me for money, more than I could well -pay at present; and one person particularly has -been so outragiously foolish, as to say that I was -a Bankrupt, and that I would never pay him: -now I have brought my Action against him for -slander and defamation, and hope to get so -great damages against him, as he shall be willing -to forgive me my debt: and this will be a good -leading Card to muzzle the mouths of the rest of -my Creditors, who indeed are so civil as to come -into Court, and testifie in my behalf.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_246'>246</span>This Case being well managed (said I) may -be very considerable with you, and turn to your -profit and credit both. Our Wine and Discourse -being ended, we both went into the Court, -where I heard his Tryal so well managed, as he -recovered 200<em>l.</em> damage: and my Master, with -my evidence, recovered his Debt; and then -threatened to sue the Gentleman for defamation: -he hearing thereof, and seeing how great -damages were given to one there present, upon -the same account, presently made his Composition -with my Master, and gave him ten pound -to put up the business. My Master gave me 20<em>s.</em> -to spend, which I did in Wine and good Company; -and the Drugster having had this success, -was now more contented than ever, and his credit -grew high in the City, so that he was intrusted -with some thousands; but he and I being -after that very intimate, I perswaded him at a -convenient time to give me an account of his -life and actions; I having formerly told him of -many of mine. We being planted at a Tavern, -and no person to interrupt us, he began as followeth.</p> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_247'>247</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Drugster in relating his Life, discovers several -Cheats which he performed under the Cloak -of Religion; as also how he cheated his Masters -Sister of her Maiden-head and Estate; and several -Cheats in Smuckling.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Though the whole course of my Life, from -my Infancy to this time, hath been a continued -piece of <em>Knavery</em>, I having been of many -Trades, and most Factions in Religion, in which -I have always been a very great stickler: yet I -shall not give you any account of my minority, -omitting all my actions till I came to about -twenty years of age, when I had gained some -experience in the world, and had learned how -to play my Cards to the best advantage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I served an Apprentiship with a Master, whose -whole Family, consisting of himself, Wife, Sister, -and four Servants, was an absolute Compendium -of most Religious Factions then practised -in <em>England</em>: He himself was a strict rigid Presbyterian; -his Wife, a Ranter; his Sister, an Anabaptist; -three of the Servants Independants, -but of several Churches and Perswasions; and I, -though an Independant, being of all Religions, -yet was of none at all, that gave them all the -hearing; and with my Master was a Presbyterian, -and would ordinarily accompany him in his -<span class='pageno' id='Page_248'>248</span>long-winded prayers, which being filled with -tautologies and nonsence, he esteemed, and often -used, believing himself to be assisted with a -Divine Spirit. Many absurdities he committed -in his Devotion, as praying for the Reformation -of his Family, and pointing out a time when -he should or would have a return of his Prayers, -at which time he would charge Providence with -the fault; he having strictly observed all the -Commandments, in Fasting, Praying, relieving -the Brethren, and performing all other Duties -which Sir <em>John</em> his Ghostly father had imposed -on him. He would often recount the particular -enormities of his Wife and Family, and how -she lay out from him three nights together in a -week, and where she was; and would earnestly -pray for, either her conversion or confusion. -Many other impertinencies would he commit, -which would be too tedious to me to recount: -but in general, I found his zeal to be a weakness -in his brain, and he was continually led about -as Sir <em>John Presbyter</em> directed.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Mistress was likewise led about by those -of her Gang, which were absolute Libertines, affording -themselves all manner of pleasure, and -denying themselves the injoyment of nothing -they could purchase; and she would pretend -Religion in all her frollicks: for she would say, -That <em>no sin was imputed to the Saints</em>; and indeed -it was no sin, unless she her self thought it so. -That she, or any other Sister, might lie with another -Brother, was accounted a general maxime -amongst them, especially if they chose their time -<span class='pageno' id='Page_249'>249</span>when their Husbands are asleep, which they termed -to be dead, and therefore might then do it -without breach of any Commandment. She -would be very costly both in her Apparel and diets -alleadging, that it was not fit, that the Body -<em>which was a sacred Temple</em>, should be coursly -either clothed or fed. I had a great mind to -have been of her Religion, because there was so -much freedom and enjoyments therein; but my -Master kept me in a little too strictly; and my -Mistress keeping company with the High-boys, -slighted the tender of my service. Thus having -failed in this attempt, I made my way to my Mistresses -Sister, who was an Anabaptist; she I often -waited on by my Mistresses commands, and at -length was admitted to be one of the Brethren -in the Conventicle, whereof she was a Sister; I -professed a great deal of zeal for that way, and -my Master often instructed me in Scripture, I -soon from a proficient became a Preacher, and -was of great eminency amongst them.</p> - -<hr class='c012' /> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did I spend my time till my Apprenticeship -was out, and I was a freeman; and then -did I begin to look about me, to see what I -might get for my self: for I had never undertaken -this course of Teaching, but in hopes to gain my -Mistresses Sister; and she still put me off till I -was out of my time, pleading tenderness of Conscience -would not permit her to give me any -enjoyment of her before Marriage, and that -could not lawfully be done, till my time was -out; which being come, I freshly courted her, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_250'>250</span>and she gave me the hearing, but still put me off -desiring me first to settle my self in the World. I -now believing that she intended to delude me -was resolved to play the same hand at Cards -with her; and perswading her that I still gained -somewhat of an Estate by my dealings in the -World, I spent some moneys on her, and taking -my opportunity gained my ends upon her; for -pretending that I had lately made a bargain, -whereby I should get 100<em>l.</em> if I had fifty pound -ready money more then my own, which was -likewise fifty pound; She having moneys by -her, willingly consented to lend me fifty pound, -provided that she might see the disbursing thereof. -I then thinking to kill two Birds with one -stone, readily consented; and heartily thanking -her, desired her to provide her self to go -with me next Tide to <em>Gravesend</em>, where I was to -lay out the moneys: she did accordingly, and -carrying fifty pound with her, I having raised -such another sum, we took boat and made for -<em>Gravesend</em>, where when we arrived, I left her to -rest herself at an Inn, and went on board a -Ship that was newly come from the Indies, and -bought as much Indigo as came to 150<em>l.</em> I had -it a very good penny worth, but not so good as -to perswade her that I should gain 100<em>l.</em> by it, -which I had promised: wherefore that I might -make out the matter to be plain to her, I engaged -the Seaman I had dealt withal to secrecy, -and made this bargain, that I would pay him -100<em>l.</em> down, and pay the rest in two moneths, -telling him that I was a great dealer. He believing -<span class='pageno' id='Page_251'>251</span>me without much difficulty, not only consented -to this, but also to say, that he had but 100 -l. for all the Commodity; we having thus agreed, -went to my Sweet-hearts Chamber, and there concluded -our bargain before her; who having some -skil in the price of that Commodity, did believe -the bargain to be as profitable as I alledged to -her, and freely laid down her money, which -together with my fifty pound was paid to the -Seaman, and the goods delivered into a Lighter -to be carried to <em>London</em>, and delivered according -to order.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This affair being dispatch’d, I was resolved -to drive the nayl home a little further, and as -I had got the money, so to get the maid; wherefore -I pretending expedition, told her, it would -be most convenient for us to ride home: she -wholly confiding in me, consented thereto, and -a horse was procured to carry us double; mounted -we were, and so advanced on our journy; -but pretending some business, I made an halt -at the next Town home wards, where I did my -Horse the unkindness to prick him in the foot, -that he might halt, and not be able to carry us -through that night; this being done, we again -mounted, and I fell to thanking my Mistress for -this great favour, not only in assisting me with -her purse, but accommodating me with her -Company; and now, said I, I hope you will no -longer delay me the enjoyment of yourself, and -the rest of your Estate. Truly, said she, this days -action hath resolved me of all doubts, and now -I have so good opinion of you, that I shall no -<span class='pageno' id='Page_252'>252</span>longer delay our marriage, then shall stand with -your conveniency. To this I returned answer full -of love and kindness. Our horse by this time felt -the effects of my work, for he halted so much, -that we could only go a foot pace, and with much -difficulty came to the next Town, where we were -forced to alight; and it now growing late, and -impossible to get to <em>London</em> that night, we resolved -to take up our quarters for the present.</p> - -<hr class='c012' /> - -<p class='c000'>I having placed my Mistress in a Private -Chamber, went into the Stable, and soon removed -the obstruction that hindred our horse -from going, so that by the next morning he was -well enough able to travel, I left him to the care -of the Hostler, and went up to my Mistress, who -expected me to supper, which I had ordered -to be provided for us, and that being ready, I -invited our Landlady to be a guest: though our -Commons were but short, being only one Chicken, -yet I made a long Grace, which according -to our custome, might amount to a prayer; and I -remember that among other matters, I prayed that -our horse might be so well recovered, as that he -might be able to carry us next day to <em>London</em>: -our Landlady soon understanding what kind of -Guests she had, believing that she should get -little by our Company, was desirous of leaving -it, which she did, by pretending business, and -so we had the whole Chicken left us for our -own eating, we hardly made or left any bones -of it, so hungry we were. Supper being ended, -we went to the fire, and I designing my business, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_253'>253</span>call’d for a Quart of Claret, which we -burn’d, sweetned, and drank off; and by this -time my Mistress was so sweet upon me, that we -talked very familiarly and pleasantly, and oftentimes -I interlaced our Discourses with kisses -and amorous sighs, to which I was welcomed, -and many times invited; I then called for another -Quart of Wine, which we likewise drank -off; and then I found my Mistress was very full -of the Creature, so that she drew neer to the -bed, and at length cast her self thereon; I was -not long after her, but lay down likewise, and -first beginning with embraces and kisses, in a little -time I gained possession of all my endeavors -she lying as fast asleep all the while; but when -I had done, and was again laid by her, she started -up, and seemed to be very angry with me; -but I supposing that it was because I had so soon -done, catched hold of her, and attempted to be -at her again; but in vain did I endeavour it, for -she then began to be angry, reproaching me -with dishonesty, and using many canting terms, -which I omit: I told her, what was done could -not be undone, and therefore comforted her, -and told her all should be well by our sudden -Marriage: thus did I appease her, and we soon -agreed upon every thing; so that though I was -appointed another Chamber, which I pretended -to lodge in, yet I lay all night with her. The -next morning we arose betime; and mounting -our horse, who was now well enough, we soon -arrived at <em>London</em>, where for the present we -parted. I having thus gained my ends of this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_254'>254</span>woman, having part of her Estate in my possession, -and by the enjoyment of her person having -the command of the rest, was resolved only to -abuse her; strip her of what she had, and so -leave her: for I found no such sweetness in my -nights lodging with her, but what I might expect -from another; having before that tasted woman -in the enjoyment of two or three of our Sisters, -which passages I omit, and tell this to acquaint -you how this woman undid herself by her Covetousness, -for had she not distrusted me with her -money, I should have married her, but now my -minde was otherwise bent.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I received my Goods, and now my stock -being much encreased by this fifty pound, and -the profit of my bargain; I paid the Seaman, -and proceeded in Trading: and though I had -little skill in forreign Commodities yet I ventured -at all, neither did I want Money, for instead -of paying back the fifty pound to my Mistress, -I soon after had 100<em>l.</em> more, and yet she -could not perswade me to marriage, I still pretending -multiplicity of business: at length, all -her portion, being 400<em>l.</em> got into my hands, I -only paid her with a nights lodging, which now -and then we had together; but as to marriage, -I still pretended one reason or other to defer -it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I not only proceeded in my Merchandizing, -but continued in my preaching at our usual -Conventicles, where I was become very famous, -and a great disputant; but at length I finding -there was little to be gotten by them (and my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_255'>255</span>principle being always to gain what I could) I -became now almost weary of them, and willing -to leave that Congregation for another that -courted me, but I was resolved ere I left them -to make some use of them, and get somewhat -of them. I thus laid my Plot: I gave a bond -to a Confederate for 100<em>l</em>, pretending that I owed -so much to him; I gave out, that I would on -such a day not only preach to my Congregation, -but also Dispute with any opposer on several -Articles. The time being come, I had a full -Auditory, and performed my Preachment and -Disputation to the general satisfaction of all? -and then appointed that the next day I would -hold forth some other points, that had not as -yet been disputed of, inviting all the Congregation, -and all others that would come, to meet -me in a larger room then that was wherein we -exercised at present. Thus having finished my -Discourse I dismissed my Auditors; but I was -no sooner out of the house, but I was seized -on by a bailiff, in Execution for 200<em>l.</em> for my -Confederate who had the bond, had brought -it to Judgment: I was then accompanied by two -or three of my Congregation, who much wondring -at the business, desired the Bailiff to have -patience, and go into the next House, which we -did; and the Case being opened, I confessed the -Debt, withal alleadging that I was not at present -able to pay it, having lately ventured most of -my Estate to Sea. Those of my Congregation -hearing this (and being much grieved that their -Pastor should be thus snatch’d from them, especially -<span class='pageno' id='Page_256'>256</span>when he had deserved so well) sent for -some more of their brethren, who were monied -men; and so among them they paid the debt, and -I was discharged: but soon after this, I left them, -and they were forced to make a Collection or gathering -among themselves to reimburse themselves -their moneys; and my Mistress, who had been all -this while delayed by me with fair words, made -her complaints to the brethren, but to no purpose, -for she received no redress or satisfaction, I having -now quite left them and their faction for another, -where by reason of my ability in preaching, I -was entertained, and an accord made between me -and my quondam Mistress, I only giving her back -fifty pound of her four hundred; we being now -absolutely parted from one another, she receiving -no other satisfaction of me, either for her many -nights lodging or money, then fifty pound, which -she willingly received, believing me to be a beggar; -my new Congregation voluntarily raising -that money for me for that purpose.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was I quit of her, and had gained five -hundred pound in my pocket, only under the -cloak of Religion; and having such success, I in -short time discovered my self to be rich, by buying -many bargains of good value, paying ready -mony, and raised my self to so high a reputation, -that I won a widdow of an indifferent fortune to -be my wife, and so settled my self in the World.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As for my preaching-trade, I finding that it -had already done me as much service as I expected -<span class='pageno' id='Page_257'>257</span>from it, I left it, for I had now a wife and money, -and for that end, and to get them, I took it -up, and being provided with both, I left it, but especially -finding that it grew every day into disesteem, -it being about the time of his Majesties -happy Return; when instead of a preaching Fanatick; -I quickly faced about, and leaving my congregational -friends, I enquired out, and procured -Cavalier acquaintance, so that I (who a little before -the Kings coming home, was used to wear -short Hair, and was modest and precise in my -habit) had now a large Perriwig, a great Plume -of Feathers, and all other accoutrements accordingly, -being still diligent on all occasions to associate -my self with the Captain and chief Officers -of the Trained Bands of our Company, into whose -acquaintance and Society I soon insinuated my -self, by my Gallantry in my habit, and expences -in Taverns being conformable.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did I become a Gentleman, and from a -Precisian a Prodigal, nay, an Antick, and every -thing, what not? that I might please all: for -instead of a Prayer-book, or some other Fanatical -piece of divinity, I now carried in my -pocket, either Cards or Dice, and so great a -love I had to <em>Hocus Pocus</em>, that all their Tools, -<em>viz.</em>, Box of Counters, Balls, Cups, and other -Trinkets which are made use of in that mysterious -function, were all my Companions: having -learned confidence when I was a Preacher, I -was now the better emboldned to stare my Spectators -in the face, while I cunningly enough -<span class='pageno' id='Page_258'>258</span>performed my feats of activity; and such a readiness -I had, that I was accounted an able proficient. -I spent so much time in these fooleries, -that I almost lost my self; and now having a -wife and family to maintain, I found my Estate -so far to decrease, that I was forced to look after -my business, and fall to Merchandizing: but -having lost a considerable part of my Estate -which I had adventured at Sea, I was resolved, -as I said, to trust no more to that Element, and -not to let my Estate go out of my sight; wherefore -I still as shipping came in, went on board, -either in the <em>Downs</em>, <em>Portsmouth</em>, or <em>Plymouth</em>, -and there buying good bargains, which the Seamen, -newly come home would afford for ready -Money, I began to prick up again, and have -Money at command; I then bought me a small -Pinnace or small Pleasure boat; and with that -went on board of Ships, bought Goods, and -made a shift to stow as much on board privately, -that I saved much by the customes and -other duties. This Trade I drove a long time, -gaining much by stealing Duties; neither did -I care what Goods I dealt in, having Customers -of all sorts and Trades, who knowing that I -drave this Trade, employed me to buy for -them, agreeing the prizes before hand: but I -was snap’d one time, and all my goods seized -for not paying duties, and an Information put -into the Exchequer against me: I finding that -it would be but a folly to contend there, agreed -with the Informer, and he suffered me to cast -him; so that I got off for a sum of money, but -<span class='pageno' id='Page_259'>259</span>I gained much experience thereby, so that I -then began a new Trade, and would engage many -of my Friends to go and buy Goods on board -of Ships, and if they got them clear from the -Ships-sides it was enough, for I would come immediately -in another Boat, as if a stranger, and -seize the Goods as forfeited for want of the payment -of duties, and so secure them from any other -seizure; and if any other person came to seize them, -I then pretended it to be my business, having -made the first seizure, but if we were not met with -by another, then we passed clear without any -more trouble: nay, so bold and confident was I -grown in this kind of Trade, called <em>Smuckling</em>, -that I have had fifty and an hundred pound at a -time given me to go over into <em>Holland</em> or <em>France</em> -in a Ship which hath brought much prohibited -goods, which I have seized so soon as we came near -any Port of <em>England</em>, to prevent any other seizure; -and then putting an information into the Exchequer, -have suffered costs against me, and all hath -been clear. I gained not only much money by -this means, but also the esteem of a cunning subtile -fellow, and was employed in many such affairs, -and sometimes in Law-suits.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I remember once I came into Company with -a very fair Lady, who having an old cross-grain’d -fellow to her Husband, had not only -lived from him for some time, but was so foolish -as to be married to another person, who -was a Gentleman of much worth and merit. -The Ladies old Husband (understanding thus -<span class='pageno' id='Page_260'>260</span>much and more out of Covetousness of gaining -money, which he believed the Gentleman -would on this occasion part from, then any -love he bore his Wife) hunted them out from -one place to another, and the young Gentleman -refusing to comply with the old Knights -desires, he was resolved now to prosecute her for -Life.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This Story was told me by the Gentleman -himself, and the Lady assured me of the truth -of the matter, imploring my assistance: Well, -Madam, said I, come, be ruled by me, and I -will disappoint your old Husband, and you -shall laugh at him. Having considered the matter, -I ordered her to go next day into the Country, -above 100 miles from <em>London</em>, and there to -expect me, and obey my further orders, this she -did; and I soon following her, and the Assizes -beginning the next day, I got a Warrant to apprehend -and bring her before the bench, she -came, and I charged her with having two Husbands, -she denying, and I alledging the matter, -she was committed, and an Indictment brought -in; but when she was to be try’d, I was not to be -found, nor any person else to prosecute her: so -that she was quit by proclamation. A Copy of this -Process I took out of the Court, and so she and I -came to <em>London</em>, to the Gentleman her friend, who -gladly welcomed us, and now they live together -in spight of the old Knight, who attempting to -trouble them, found it in vain, for she could not -be tryed for one fact twice.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_261'>261</span>This feat did I, meerly out of my own apprehension -and fancy, and it succeeding according -to my wishes, and I had a considerable reward -for my pains.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXIX.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Drugster sets two Persons, his wives Brothers-in-Law, -at variance, he gets Money out of them -both, proceeds in Trading, but adventuring too -much, cannot pay his Debts, and is therefore clapt -up in prison.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I drave this rambling Trade for a long time, and -gained enough by it, but I was so prodigal in -my expences (both at home and abroad, that I -might be counted somebody) and sometimes loosing -considerable sums at gaming, that I began to go -behind hand, and oftentimes, when I pretended to -go to <em>Gravesend</em>, the <em>Downs</em>, or other places to -buy some Drugs, or other Merchandise aboard a -Ship, I went not far from <em>London</em> to a brave handsome -Lass, that I kept for my private recreation. -For though I had a wife, and she indifferent -handsome, yet was she cold in her embraces, and -still talking of the cares of the World, and propounding -ways to get Moneys. But my private -Lady was quite different, being wholly composed -of Love and sweetness, professing nothing -more dear to her, then my Society: and we had -<span class='pageno' id='Page_262'>262</span>no other discourse but pleasure and enjoyments, -in the greatest height we could imagine; This -though it were pleasant, was very chargeable, to -keep such a Commodity for my own private use, -so that I gained not much at the years end; and -what I got over the Divels back, I spent under -his belly, as the Proverb goes: Wherefore my -wife called on me to stay at home and apply -my self to some settled way; but that I could -not do, for my Stock was grown low and my -spending as high as ever.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Wife had a Father-in-Law who was a Citizen -and a monyed man; him I got into favor with -and by my free entertainment of him, won him to -me; for he having left off trading in <em>London</em>, lived -some miles off, and coming to <em>London</em> would often -visit me, where I still welcomed him, and attended -him abroad when he went to receive Rents, or any -Moneys, and assisted him in all such things that I -could, with much diligence. My stock being very -low, I borrowed Moneys of him to trade with, -and was very punctual in my payment, so that he -put so much confidence in me, as to lend me 100<em>l.</em> -and more I might have had, had I requested it, as -he and his wife (who was my wives Mother) often -visited me at my house, so at convenient times I -was a guest at theirs in the Countrey? where I -associated my self with the best Gentlemen of the -place, winning upon the affections of all; by my -facetious and pleasant converse. I had great -hopes of raising my fortunes by my wives Mother, -who I hoped would out-live her husband, and then, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_263'>263</span>at her death be able and willing to give me good -part of her estate, but it fell out otherwise, for she -fell sick and dyed before him, but it was my good -luck to be there, and my wife being still near her, -she gave her some Rings and other things that -were considerable.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The old man my Father-in-Law being desirous -to bury his wife at <em>London</em> according to her request -went up with us, and being somewhat sick before, -so soon as his wife was buried, was so surprized -with a distemper, that he took his bed, and after -ten weeks sickness dyed at my house, during his -sickness I bethought my self of what advantage I -might make it, and endeavoured to please him in -all I might, but he having two sons, I could not -expect much of the estate, but was resolved by -hook or by crook to have a considerable share, and -to that end I knew no better way then to divide -the two Brothers and put them at difference. The -eldest was a married man, and though of an easie -temper yet I knew was too honest to be wrought -on to do any unhandsome action, the youngest being -a young bluff fellow, was apt to believe any -thing I should perswade him to, wherefore at first -I possest him with a jealousie against his brother, -and that he would defraud him of his share of the -estate, if he did not take heed and follow my -directions, which if he did, I would put him into -a way to command his elder brother in every -thing.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The young man being of a suspitious nature, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_264'>264</span>easily believed me; and then I particularly advised -him, that the first thing he ought to do, was to -get the Register of his age altered; for if his father -should now dye, and he not truly being -twenty years of age, could not expect to have -the possession of any part of the Estate, unless -he were one and twenty. Wherefore to -the house of the Parish Register we went, and -for the spending of one shilling, and five shillings -in Money, we had the Register book delivered -to us, where I being well skilled in counterfeiting -and imitating of hands; soon alter’d -the Register, putting his age out in one place, and -writing it in another place two years before; so -that the young man was now made half a year -above full age. Then did we call the Register, -who gave us a Certificate out of the book of the -young mans age, and this we carried with us as authentick, -and to be produced on all occasions. I -having done thus much for the young Man, he -could not deny me anything I desired or requested: -so that the old sick Gentleman being still weaker, -and having his Money in a Trunk by his beds-side, -I perswaded the younger Brother (who had -the key) to take some out and lend to me; which -he did: and that the old Man might not see -the action; I and my wife would stand by the -beds-side before him, so that by degrees I got -100 <em>l.</em> from thence; and when the old man dyed, -though he left a considerable Estate, yet was -there not a penny of ready Money. The elder -brother knowing that he had foul-play shewed -him, began to be angry, but to no purpose, for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_265'>265</span>he was forced to comply, the younger brother -having possession of that Trunck, and the keys -of all others where all the Writings were. The -old man being buried (and much excess and -prodigality shewed in the expences and costs -thereof, which was done principally at my invitement, -that I might gain repute by inviting -as many friends as I pleased, and also drain my -two young men of their moneys) the two -brothers began to discourse the matter, the elder -brother demanding possession of the Estate, -and a divident to be made according to the Will -of their Father; and, said he, Brother, your -share must either be in my hands, or else in the -Chamber of <em>London</em> till you come of age: How, -said I, till he come of age? Sure, you mistake -your self, he is of sufficient age already; and -thereupon produced the Certificate, which -though it was very punctual, yet the elder brother -(who was neer ten years older then his -brother) and several others who were present, -knew to be false: and this was the first breach -between them, which had like to have grown -to a high flame: for the elder Brother applying -himself to the Register, upon search of the Book, -found the fallacy: and indeed the Register acknowledged -the fact; for which he, and the -younger Brother, and my self had like to have -kissed <em>Newgate</em>, by order of the Lord Mayor, who -being acquainted herewith, was highly incensed -against us all, professing before the whole Court -of Aldermen, That this act was of high concernment, -and might be prejudicial to the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_266'>266</span>whole City. The elder brother was very cautious -in prosecuting this affair, being tender of -his brothers credit, and therefore endeavoured -by fair means to bring his brother to a handsome -compliance; which he effected in my absence, -and so wrought upon his Brother, that -the Trunk of Writings was sent for to a Tavern, -where they were for the present divided, -and the Trunk with part of the Writings delivered -to him, with a promise to put a fair end -to the rest of the difference. When I came home, -and found the Trunk gone, I stormed exceedingly; -and believing my self disappointed of my -purpose, found out the younger Brother, and -schooled him so soundly, that he by my directions -went back to his brothers house, and by a -false token regained the Trunk with the Writings -which he had new sent home. Thus was -their difference enlarged, and likely to be -worse; but the Elder brother so moderately -complyed with all mine and his brothers demands, -though never so unreasonable, that a -division and partition was made, not onely of the -Estate, but some part of the Goods, which being -Plate, and Linnen, and Pewter, were delivered -into my custody: and all the differences between -the brothers being ended, I demanded -of the elder brother satisfaction for his fathers -being at my house during the time of his sickness: -he little expected this; for his father had -given to me and mine an hundred pound, but -that was nothing; I owed him so much, and I -must have more, and so I told him I would -<span class='pageno' id='Page_267'>267</span>have, or mischief him: not giving any other -reason, but that he had enough, and I would -have part. Thus did I hope to huff him out of -his money: but he, though he was easie and -good-natured (which I accounted next of kin -to a fool) yet wholly refused me, affirming that -I had no reason for my demands, for I had an -hundred pound given me, and that I had not -been at any charge, for his father had continually -given my wife money to provide all necessaries, -and that some of that was still in my -wives hands.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Though I knew what he alledged was true, -yet I still persisted in my demands, and told -him, that so much I would have for the trouble -of my house: he offered to refer it to two men; -I long refused it, but at the length consented, -and tampered with his Arbitrator, promising -him a reward, if he would answer my expectations: -but he contrary to my expectations proved -honest, and gave me but half what I asked; -neither would he have consented to that, but -that the elder brother himself advised him -thereto, out of a desire of Peace. This Award -I was much troubled at, and seeing I could get -no more, was contented with what I could get -of him: but the younger brother I fleec’d somewhat -more considerably, getting out of them both, -in Legacy, Mony and Goods, to the value of -three or four hundred pounds: with which stock -of money, and a greater of credit, reporting of -greater matters that were given me, I again fell -to trafficking, and now dealt more considerably -<span class='pageno' id='Page_268'>268</span>then ever: for I went to publick Sales, where -great quantities of goods were sold by inch of -Candle, and bought thousand pounds worth at a -time; and so considerable was I lookt on, that I -was often imployed by others to buy for them. -I bought several parcels and sorts of Goods, which -I fetcht away as I paid for them: at last I bought -several parcels of Goods to a great value, and -fetcht away most of them, which I sold to profit: -but one parcel of 500<em>l.</em> being a failing and decaying -Commodity, I left in their hands so long, that -it was much damaged; and unwilling, and indeed -unable to pay for them, was arrested, and -clapt up into prison; where I was forc’d to lie -a great while, till I had spent and consumed -most of what I had; and at length they finding -there was nothing to be got by me, released me, -I releasing my bargain: which I willingly did, -but soon after repented it; for the price of that -Commodity rising, it soon amounted to great -profit; and whereas I should have lost, I now -might have gained, as they did by the sale of it, -neer 200<em>l.</em></p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<p class='c013'><span class='pageno' id='Page_269'>269</span>CHAP. XXX.</p> - -<p class='c014'><em>The Drugster having failed in</em> London, <em>goes to -live in the Country; where by counterfeiting a -sickness, and making a Will, he gets into Credit, -and borrowing Money falls again to Trading.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>This Misfortune of my Imprisonment did -sensibly afflict me; especially, when I understood -that instead of loss, I might have gained -by holding to my bargain; but it now being -past, could not be helpt. I was reduced to such -necessity, that not onely all my Money, but my -Plate and best Goods were sold; and not onely -my Wife, but my Whore parted from their -Rings and Jewels to redeem me: for when I -was in prison, every body that I owed money to, -though never so little, came upon me; and -though I came off with my great Action easily -enough, yet many other little ones stuck close -to me, which I was forced to discharge. I had -now time enough to consider my forepassed -Actions, and to examine my self what I had -done to deserve this affliction; I bethought me -of the trick I first served my Mistresses Sister, in -cheating her of her Money and Virginity; but -that stuck not much upon me, because I thought -her to be justly enough fitted for delaying me, -distrusting me, and other bad practices I knew -her guilty of; but when I considered the wrong -<span class='pageno' id='Page_270'>270</span>I had lately done the two brothers, in first raising -a difference, and then continuing it between -them, and not onely prosecuting the elder brother -so highly my self, but putting another of -my acquaintance (to whom I knew he was indebted) -upon him to sue and arrest him, with -all the disgrace that I could, by causing it to be -done on a Sunday as he went to Church, I my -self attending: This consideration possessed me -with an opinion that this Judgement was justly -fallen upon me for this cause, I being rightly -enough fitted, being likewise my self arrested -on a Sunday, as I was going to Church: but -now being discharged of my Imprisonment, I -bethought me what course I was to take, and -resolved, that since I had suffered disgrace in -the City, it were best for me to remove into the -Country, where I was not known; therefore I -soon took a house of considerable value, and -putting my self in a very good Habit, and in -equipage every ways suitable, I and my Wife, -with most of my family removed from my <em>London</em> -to my Country-house; I soon got my self -acquainted with the best and wealthiest people of -the place, and gave them very handsome treats -and entertainments at my house, which they answered -me with the like civility.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Though I had been a Prisoner, yet I had -play’d my Cards so well in paying my small -debts, and told my tale so advantagiously about -my great Action, that I had preserved a sufficient -credit with some of my Dealers; so that -making up about fifty pound out of my Wives -<span class='pageno' id='Page_271'>271</span>and Wenches Rings, Jewels, and some Plate, I -was entrusted with 100<em>l.</em> worth of Commodities, -with which I set up another Trade in the -Country: this turned to good account: for I -seldom ventured on any thing, but it was effectual -and to purpose; and if I would wholly -have bent my minde to get Money, I might have -had a good estate; but I affected pleasure equal -to, and above profit; and though I was thus low -in the World, yet I still kept my Wench, whom I -had now quartered in the mid-way between my -<em>London</em> and Country-house, and therefore could -lye with her commodiously enough, and tell my -wife, if at my Country, that I lay at the <em>London</em> -house; and so on the contrary.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As I thus enjoyed my pleasure, so I now began -to be more wary, and look after profit, -which I did to good purpose; but I now wanted -a Father-in-Law who was a moneyed man, or -some other friend who would furnish me with -money; and if I could but have produced three -or four hundred pounds in ready money, I questioned -not but to make extraordinary advantage; -for this end I thought on several ways, -and at length did hit upon one that did my business. -I travelling in the Winter, took an extraordinary -cold that forced me to keep my bed -for some days, and indeed I did so longer then -I needed; for I counterfeited an extraordinary -sickness, and that I was much troubled with -the Stone and Collick; and so desperate ill I -pretended my self to be, that my Wife lamenting, -and my Children and Family being in much -<span class='pageno' id='Page_272'>272</span>disorder, I was perswaded to make my Will: -to this I consented; and the Scrivener of the -Town was sent for; I then told him, that by -reason of my Childrens childhood, and my -Wives incapacity to manage affairs, I was in a -great strait how to dispose of my Estate, which -though it was considerable enough, yet if it -were not well managed, would soon come to -nothing; I now being in a strange Town, distant -from <em>London</em>, where my acquaintance lived, -I knew not well what person to intrust as Executor, -unless, said I, Mr. <em>B.</em> of this Town would -do me the kindness to take that trouble on him, -which I would willingly requite by a sufficient -Legacy, and my Wife and Children would be -bound to pray for him. Sir, said the Scrivener, -I question not but he will do it; and if you please, -I will not onely ask him, but perswade him thereto. -I thank you kindly, said I, and for this offer -of your friendship, I shall give you a Legacy as -a Remembrance of me; and therefore, I pray, -take notice of the heads of my Will, and then go -with it to Master B. and shewing it to him, make -this request to him in my behalf: whereupon the -Scrivener began, and I dictated to him, what, and -to whom I would give; which was 1000<em>l.</em> to my -Wife, 300 a piece to my Children, and several -other Legacies, amounting in all to near 3000<em>l.</em> -and 100<em>l.</em> I gave to my intended Executor, and -10<em>l.</em> to the Scrivener.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This affair being thus ordered, the Scrivener -departed, and went to Master <em>B.</em> my intended -Executor, who being a well-monyed man, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_273'>273</span>withal very covetous, was very glad of the matter, -and willingly accepted of the offer, and -within few hours came to me, and told me he -was very sorry for my sickness, and wished my recovery; -but if he could do me any service living, -or to my Wife and Children if I should die, -which he hoped would not happen, he should be -ready and willing both in purse and person to -assist me. I then told him what I had done as -to my Will, and withal caused my Account-books -to be produced, where I shewed and demonstrated -how my Estate stood, and in whose hands it -was (having prepared false Accompts for that -purpose:) he seeing the matter so plain, and hoping -to get a fleece out of my Estate, caused the -Scrivener to proceed and finish the Will, which -I sealed; but during his stay with me at that -time, and some other times when he visited me, -I so counterfeited faintings and pain, that he and -all others neer me, did fully conclude, I was no -man for this World.</p> - -<p class='c000'>After I had managed this affair to the height, -I soon recovered, and had now not only gained -this old penny-father to be my friend, but by -his and the Scriveners reports of my Estate, had -many others, who more then ordinarily respected -me, and made me tenders of their service: -all which I thankfully refused at present, as not -having any need. Soon after this, I hearkned -out a place, for which I was to give 1000<em>l.</em> -and it being a good penny-worth, I engaged in -it: I made a shift to raise two hundred pound of -my own moneys, and that was all I was then -<span class='pageno' id='Page_274'>274</span>able to do; but pretending I had of my own -five hundred pound in money, I soon perswaded -my intended Executor to furnish me with five -hundred pound more; and so paying seven hundred -pound to my Chapman, he took my word -for three hundred pound more. This place -put me in very great credit; and now, as well -my <em>London</em> as my Country-acquaintance looked -on me with respect, supposing all to be true that -had been discoursed of me. I did not long keep -this place, but sold it for an 100<em>l.</em> profit, and -so became Master of more ready money then -ever, with which I again came to <em>London</em>, wholly -leaving my Country-house, and paying my -Country Penny-father part of his moneys: and -with that little of my own, and the rest that was -left, and what I had gained, I took a house and -Shop in the place where I now live, and drive a -Trade equal to the best of my Neighbours; onely -I have had some dealings of late, which have -a little puzzled me, as I lately told you, when -I had my trial; but he that slander’d me paying -so dear as 200<em>l.</em> damages, will not onely himself -beware, but alwaies teach others to hold -their peace.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_275'>275</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>The Drugster now breaking in earnest, endeavours -to cheat his Creditors, and convey himself and -Estate into</em> Holland; <em>but is discovered, and his -Estate seized, and himself stopt; but by assistance -of the Relator, he gets off, and having a -good sum of Money, and the Scrivener and his -Wench, all get away, and travel to the</em> East-Indies.</p> - -<p class='c005'>Thus did the Drugster finish his story. I received -satisfaction equal to whatever I had -either in the Scrivener, Bookseller, or any other -Relation; for I found that his Actions had been -different from theirs; for what they did under the -cloak of honesty, he did under that of Religion, -which I found was too often the covering of -<em>Knavery</em>. This Discourse being ended, and our -Wine out, we parted; proffering to each other all -kinde of service: and indeed it was through his -occasion, and to do him service, that I am come -to this place, so far from my Country; I shall -therefore give you an account of his last Actions -in <em>England</em>, which are as remarkable as any I -have hitherto related to you; as also somewhat -further of the Scrivener, who is our other Companion; -and so finish this large Narrative, which -I doubt hath almost wearied you.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I being unwilling to hinder the Traveller in -prosecuting his Story, had with much pleasure -<span class='pageno' id='Page_276'>276</span>attended and hearkned to what he had said; and -though his Discourse was long, and had taken up -much time, yet I found so much pleasing variety, -that made me ample satisfaction and amends; -and being desirous to know the rest of their Adventures, -and what fortune or misfortune had -brought them hither, I desired him to proceed, -which he did in this manner:</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was now acquainted with three persons, -(<em>viz.</em> the Scrivener, Bookseller, and Drugster, -an account of whose actions I have given you) -that gave me full satisfaction, and put me into an -absolute opinion, that there was not onely <em>Knavery</em> -used in all Trades and Professions, but that -most Trades were composed of, and most Estates -gotten by over-reaching and <em>Knavery</em>: I therefore -resolved to look about me, and see what I -could do in the world; and having an intimate -and familiar acquaintance with the Scrivener, I -was by him supplyed with what money I desired, -laying it out in Clothes, which I bought at -the second hand, and sold again to my profit, -and so repaying the Scrivener, who took no -other interest then a Pint or a Quart of Wine. I -did light upon so many good Bargains, that I -had gained a stock of about fifty pound of my -own, and my Master did not contradict or deny -me in my dealing, because I assisted him in his -profit, by bringing him Customers of our Club -and acquaintance; I brought the Scrivener and -Drugster to be acquainted together, and they -liked one another so well, that they contracted -a friendship, which had hitherto lasted; and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_277'>277</span>the Scrivener was likewise assistant to the Drugster -in procuring him moneys at a pinch, which -he honestly repaid him; and the Captain (which -I told you the Scrivener first adventured to Sea -withal, so much to their own profit, and the -loss of the Insurers) was now a person admitted -into our Society, and being now got up -again in the world, became Master of a good -Ship, and was often imployed by the Drugster, -and others of his acquaintance, on several short -Voyages to <em>Holland</em>, when at his return he was -assisted in securing and conveying much prohibited -and uncustomed Goods by the Drugster, -which was to the very great gain of them -both; and in general we all thrived very well, -till fortune, who is always changeable, in short -time turn’d tail upon the Drugster, and had -like to have crush’d him to nothing. He being -at the height of his Trade, and studying now -onely how to be an Alderman, did drive a great -Trade, buying and selling much Commodities, -both Drugs and Grocery Ware, and indeed any -other Merchandize whatever, nothing came amiss -to him, till at length he not onely had a -great loss at Sea, but buying a great quantity of -Pot-ashes, intending to make a great profit by -keeping them up, he lost 1000<em>l.</em> at a clap; for -much of that Commodity coming in unexpectedly, -he was forced to sell his at great loss: -these two unlucky hits, both falling on the neck -of one another, shrewdly squeezed him; but he -being of a great courage, took little notice of it -to the World, but still run on all that he could, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_278'>278</span>adventuring a great part of the remainder of -his Estate to Sea, which likewise failing, he was -quite undone; but remembring that he had -been in as bad condition formerly, and still -made a shift to come off clear, and creep up again, -his credit being still high, he bought great -quantities of Goods upon credit, to pay at three -months; but not knowing how to bestir himself, -being now got very highly in Debt, and -knowing very well that he could not make profit -enough by those Goods to set himself to -rights, he thereupon bethought himself of conveying -away what he had, and giving all his -Creditors the slip: he had two other inducements -that moved him thereto, the one was his -Wives death, which was lately happened, and -the other was his Wenches consent and earnest -desire for him to do so, promising him to assist -him in all she could, and also to accompany him -in his Voyage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This being agreed, the place intended for his -Voyage being <em>Holland</em>, he sold as much Goods -in <em>London</em> at an under-rate for ready money, as -he received 600<em>l.</em> for; and the rest of his goods -amounting to 1500<em>l.</em> worth, was put on board -a Ship, which was immediately to set sail for -<em>Amsterdam</em>; his Lady being on board the Ship, -but in a Disguise, <em>Virago</em>-like, habited in mans -apparel: he carried not his designe so closely, -but some of his Creditors got knowledge of it, -and understanding the business to be desperate, -took out a Statute of Bankrupt, and going on -board the Ship seized on all; he being then at -<span class='pageno' id='Page_279'>279</span><em>London</em>, taking leave of me, the Scrivener, and -some other friends. This being done, the news -came quickly to his knowledge; for before we -parted, two of his Creditors, accompanied with -Officers, not onely acquainted him with what -they had done, but also secured his person. We -were all surprized at this action, especially the -Drugster, who now appeared more dead then -alive; and though he was asked many Questions, -yet he knew not readily how to answer one; -and therefore they soon left us, carrying him -away to one of their own houses, where they tyrannically -kept him for some days, not permitting -any person to come at him; for though I -attempted it, 'twas in vain. The Scrivener and I -being together, wondred at the action, and -could not tell what should be the occasion of this -sudden business; for the Drugster had not acquainted -us with the bottom of his designe, onely -telling us, that he was to go a two Months -Voyage to <em>Holland</em>, and so return. I then parted -from the Scrivener, and attempted to see -and to speak with my friend the Drugster, but -it could not be at present; but by often importuning -and pretending business of consequence, -in ten days time I was permitted to see and -speak with him; when having secured and examined -the Chamber where he was, that none -might over-hear our Discourse, he soon acquainted -me with every particular of his business and -designe; nor did he relate to me that his Wench -was on board in mans apparel, and how he had -given 100<em>l.</em> in silver into her Custody. But, said -<span class='pageno' id='Page_280'>280</span>I, where is the other 500<em>l.</em> for in all I heard -you say, you had 600<em>l.</em> in ready money? That -said he, I hope is safe, if my Clothes are so; and -therefore, I pray, said he, assist me a little in this -affair, and enquire what is become of the -Wench and my Clothes, and I doubt not but in -few days to put all things right enough again. -I not onely promised him to do my utmost, but -went about it very faithfully; and going on -board the Ship, found that all was gone; but -upon enquiry, heard that the young man that -was to accompany the Drugster in the Voyage, -was on shore at a house not far off: thither I -went, and upon enquiry found out the party: -I desired private speech with him, for she went -for a man: this was granted, and I discovering -my self so plainly to her in every particular, she -made no great difficulty to be as free with me, -and told me, that all was gone, Clothes, and every -thing else, except her own Box, where she -had secured the 100<em>l.</em> that was given to her; and, -continued she, My friend could not have employed -any person to me, to whom I would have -been so free as I shall be to you: for though you -do not know me in this Habit, yet I suppose, had -I my woman’s dress, you would soon remember -me: I then protested to her, that I could not -call her Phisnomy to minde. Well, said she, we -have been more inward, and ere now lain together; -and thereupon told me, that she was one -of those three that I lay with in one night, and -had redeemed from pawn, as I have formerly -told you, at my last coming to <em>London</em>. Upon -<span class='pageno' id='Page_281'>281</span>this, though she was in breeches; I made bold -to kiss her and embrace her: Well, said she, -proceed no further, there may be time enough -for the rest; let us now consult what is necessary -to be done for our distressed friend; for, said -she, if you and he desire it, I shall be willing to -part from all the hundred pounds, which I am -yet Mistress of. Well, replyed I, you are the -most generous and deserving Woman of all your -Sex, especially of your Quality, not onely for -what you now offer, but what I formerly by experience, -and lately by his Relations have understood -of you. Truely, replyed she, where I -promise fidelity, I perform it; and where I finde -worth, I will endeavour to deserve and requite -it: and though I have lived wantonly, yet since -I was entertained by this Gentleman as his friend, -I have been wholly constant, and will persevere -therein so long as he is able, or I can otherwise -handsomely contrive a way to subsist. In this you -are very obliging, said I, but I hope you will not -deny any old friend a courtesie. Well, said she, -more of that hereafter. From this discourse we -fell to the matter in hand, consulting and contriving -what was most necessary to be done for -our friends present accommodation: for the -present, we agreed all the money should lye in -her hands, onely she should remove her quarters -to the place appointed.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This being done, I again repaired to him, and -acquainted him with my proceedings; he was -glad I had found her and the hundred pound: -but when I told him that the Chest with his -<span class='pageno' id='Page_282'>282</span>Clothes were gone and secured from him, he was -almost out of his wits, cryed out that now he was -miserable, and never till now. Well, said I, -come, be contented, there may be a way found -to remedy this evil. No, said he, never till I am -again Master of that Chest with my Clothes. Upon -this he was silent, and soon after two of his -chief Creditors entred the Chamber, and told -him that if he would be ingenious with them, that -they would not onely release him, but put Money -in his Pocket, that he might trade again: -For, said one of them, we have been at great cost -already for the taking out the Commission of -Banckrupt, and the Commissioners Fees for sitting -hath already cost two hundred pound, and -it every day runs up to more and more; So that -in fine, it will consume the Estate, unless you -will assist us in making up your accounts; for there -are several that we supposed had owed you money, -do put in for to have a share with us: and -thereupon, they named two or three parties who -had demanded monies of them. To this the -Drugster replyed, that he owed no such sums as -were pretended, and that one of them owed him -two hundred pound; he alledging this, and offering -to prove it, they desired him to provide -against the next day to appear before the Commissioners; -and if he did justifie this, they would -immediately discharge him. This being agreed -on, they left him, and he was now in somewhat -better taking than he had been, and I encouraged -him to bear up, and hope for the best. Well, -said he, if I can but get my Chest of Clothes again -<span class='pageno' id='Page_283'>283</span>I care not; and I pray fail not to be with me -to morrow, and get my Mistress to send me ten -pound, that I may have occasion to use. We discoursed -not much further for the present, but -parted; and I returning home to my Masters, -asked leave to be absent for that night; to which -he consented; and indeed, I had so much liberty, -that I might stay out so long as I pleased, my -Master using me rather like a Companion then a -Servant.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I now went to the Drugsters Lady, and my -<em>quondam</em>-acquaintance, and informing her of my -business, she freely delivered me ten pound: But, -said I, this is not all, I must have somewhat else -before I go; and thereupon called for Wine, and -we drank so briskly, that we were both pretty -merry: And it being now late, she asked me -where I intended to lodge: I said, with her; That -must not be, replyed she: and indeed I had somewhat -to do to perswade her to it; but at length I -did, and we lay together without any suspition, -she going for a man. We often interchanged -many amorous imbraces, and performed all those -dalliances that two longing Lovers could expect, -and made many protestations of a farther friendship: -I telling her, that I believed her friend the -Drugster would not be offended, if he knew of our -enjoyments, and would as well impart her to me, -as he had done his chiefest secrets: Well, said she, -if you gain his consent, you command mine, -and I therefore leave it to your management; -and I suppose if you tell him of our former acquaintance, -the greatest difficulty will be overcome. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_284'>284</span>This I thought would be a ready way, as -indeed it was: and since then we have had an equal -enjoyment of her; she having lain with one -of us every night since, and during our Voyage -hither, and is one of those two are in mens apparel, -and is called <em>George</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But, said I, to return to my matter in hand, I -the next morning parted from her, and with ten -pound in my pocket, went to my friend, who -was going before the Commissioners, whither I -attended him; and there he carried himself with -so much freedom and ingenuity, that he was set -at liberty, and promised more favours: he then -made it his request, that he might have the Chest -with his Clothes: to this some consented, but -others replied, all must be apprised, and till then -nothing could be disposed of, and therefore they -demanded the key of him: this he refused; but -they told him, that then they would break it -open: he seeing there was no other remedy, promised -to bring it the next morning, and then -desired they might be apprised, and delivered to -him: and thus they parted; and after he and I -had drunk a Pint of Wine, we also parted.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As I was going home I met with the Scrivener, -who being desirous to know how matters went -with the Drugster, would enforce a glass of Wine -on me; when I told him all the matter, and -omitting nothing, we judged that his five hundred -pound was in that Chest with his Clothes, and -that now he would be stripp’d of it. But, said -the Scrivener, I wish he were Master of that Money, -and then I should propound a way to him -<span class='pageno' id='Page_285'>285</span>to leave them, by making him partner in a design -which I have lately projected, and is now neer -execution.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I needed not use many words to perwsade him -to acquaint me with his design, wherefore after -few words, he opened to me the matter thus:</p> - -<p class='c000'>I have, said he, lived in so full an enjoyment -of every thing here, that I am weary of it, being -tied to one place; and my spirit being of a -soaring rambling temper, am desirous of novelty -and change; and to that end I have some time -since purposed, and lately contrived a way to -leave <em>England</em> for some other place, and consulting -with the Captain whom you know, have resolved -for the <em>East-Indies</em>, whither he is now -bound: and that I might not go away beggerly, -(for I never intend to return, unless very rich) -I have contrived a way how to carry good store -of money with me, which I am now plentifully -provided with. Yes, said I, I know it is no difficulty -for you to procure what money you will, -having the keeping of so much Cash. You are -mistaken, said he, I intend not to wrong my Master -of a penny, but have done it otherwise, the -manner thus:</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Master hath lately taken a Journey into the -Country, and left the sole management of his -affairs to me; and resolving now to make use of -my time, I have put my Project in Execution. -I have been with one of our Money-Masters, and -told him, that such a man, whom he knew to be -a good man, that is, a rich man, wanted so much -Money; this he readily consented to, and I had -<span class='pageno' id='Page_286'>286</span>the Money delivered to me, only giving him a Bond, -whereto I have counterfeited the name of him -whom I told him was the Borrower, and my self, -with one more was a witness: this have I done -with two or three, who I was confident would -trust me; and with two I have pretended they -would borrow of one another two hundred pound -apiece, and given each of them a Counterfeit -bond; and I cannot chuse but smile, to think in -what a case they will both be when the time of -payment comes, and instead of receiving, they -will demand two hundred pounds of each other: -it may be, they will be so frolick as to go to law; -if they do, it will make good sport for the Lawyers. -By this means, as I tell you, I have raised -fifteen hundred pounds, which I have all ready -by me in good Jocobusses, and am ready in ten -days to march off with my Captain for the <em>East-Indies</em>; -now if the Drugster had his Money in -readiness, I should be glad of so good Company. -I heard him with much delight, and from that -very minute resolved to make one of the Company, -and then offered him my service, which he kindly -accepted of, and promised me that I should share -all fortunes with him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I went back to my Mistress, and provided my -self for my Voyage: and the next day the Drugster -bringing his Keys, the Chest where his Clothes -were was opened, and all in it was examined, -but no Money found: I remember at every parcel -of Clothes they took, his eye was so fixed, that -I thought he would never remove it; but at length -all was pass’d over, and the Clothes prized at -<span class='pageno' id='Page_287'>287</span>twenty pounds: he earnestly entreated that he -might have them; but they replied, they could -not do it without the consent of all, unless they -gave so much out of their own pockets, and they -had already lost too much by him. He finding -that there was no way but one, took me with -him to a Tavern, and conjured me to do him -one kindness, which was, by all means to purchase -these Clothes at any rate; giving me the -ten pound I had brought him, and five pound -more, he knew not at present what to do for five -or ten pounds more, which he advised me to give -for the Clothes rather than fail. It was too far -to go to his Ladies Quarters, wherefore I out of -my own stock supplied that want; and then going -to the Creditors, with much ado perswaded one -of them, who had the Keys, to sell me the Clothes: -he would not consent to do this, unless I would -give him thirty pound, which was ten pound -more then they were apprized at: though the demand -was unreasonable, yet I was forced to consent; -and putting ten pound of the money into -his own pockets, willingly delivered the Clothes -to me, charging me not to discover what I gave. -I did not much heed what he said, but gladly received -the Chest and key, and carried it to the -Drugster, who with much impatience expected -me; it being carried up into a private Chamber, -and the door fast locked, he unlocked the Chest, -and took out the Clothes, and drawing his Knife, -unript the Collar of a Doublet, where were several -pieces of Gold: Nay then, said he, we are still -safe, and I defie Fortune and all her malice: in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_288'>288</span>less then half an hour, with my assistance, we -found out 500 <em>l.</em> in Gold, which was sewed up in -several places about the Clothes. This being done, -I soon acquainted him with the Scriveners Project, -and my resolution: to this he likewise consented, -only, said he, I must not leave my honest -Girl behind me. For that, said I, I question not -but I shall have some influence to perswade her; -and thereupon I acquainted him with my former -knowledge of her: Well, said he, since it is so, we -will continue her a friend to us both, and not -entertain any jealousie. In fine, we agreed not -only in that particular, but in every thing else; -and the Scrivener being acquainted with all our -designs, we so ordered the matter, that I, the -Drugster, and our Mistress, and the Scrivener -and a Wench of his, whom he had likewise put -into mans Apparel, did all come on board with -all our Treasure into our Captains Ship which -was in the <em>Downs</em>, and bound for this place; and -so having good Winds, good Company, and every -thing to our content, are all safely arrived in this -place.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_289'>289</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He being now by the Relator brought acquainted -with the Scrivener, Drugster, and the rest of his -Companions; they enter into discourse about the -several Factious Religions practised in</em> England.</p> - -<p class='c005'>Thus did our Relator finish his long story, -which was so filled with profit, as well as -pleasure, that I accounted the time I had spent -in hearing him the best bestowed of any: for I -gathered so much variety of experiences, that if -I had any minde to prosecute my former course -of life in cheating and Roguing, I might now -soon profess my self to be my Arts-Master, if I -did but bravely follow those Examples he had related -to me: but if they were any wise improved, -as I had a Genius fit enough to be highly active, -I might then out-do all Example.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These were my first thoughts, but I had not -much time to spend in contemplation: but he -having put an end to his discourse, I kindly -thanked him for his great freedom used in his relation; -and told him, that since he had been so -generous to me in unbosoming himself, I in requital -did promise him a lasting friendship, and at -our first leasure recount some of my life to him, -which I had hitherto concealed, that should give -him satisfaction that I intended to use an absolute -freedom with him.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_290'>290</span>Thus did we contract a friendship, and it was -now time to eat somewhat, the best part of the -day having been spent in his long narrative: such -as the house afforded we had, and after a repast, -we concluded both to go on board of their Ship -to finde out his Companions; he resolving to acquaint -them with what had passed between us, -and to let them know my quality, believing they -would be well enough satisfied with what he had -done, because they might have great occasion to -make use of me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In this resolution we were preparing to go to -the Ship, when the Scrivener and Drugster entred -the house, enquiring for their Companion, -who presenting himself to them, they desired -him to walk out, that they might confer together: -No, said he, let us take a Room here and -discourse, which we may do with as much freedom -as any where else: he urging it, they consented, -and having a private Room and necessaries, -after a cup or two of Wine I left their company, -on purpose to give my friend the <em>Taylor</em> -(who was called <em>Gregory</em>) the opportunity of acquainting -them with what had passed between us, -which I suppose he did in very few words; for -within half an hour I was called for, and being -kindly saluted by the two Gentlemen, was desired -to sit down and make one of their Company. -After a Cup or two of Wine more had passed, -my friend <em>Gregory Taylor</em> thus spake to me: Friend, -I have acquainted these my two Friends and Companions -with our late discourse, and by that they -know that all their affairs are known to you also; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_291'>291</span>I have told them what I know of you, & we are -all sensible that your acquaintance may be very -useful and necessary in all things, but much more -your friendship: Wherefore, as you say I by my -freedom with you have merited your acquaintance -and friendship; so I desire the same room -in your brest for my Friends, who by me desire -it, and in requital you shall command ours; and -whatever we have, you shall be equally Master of -with our selves.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I made no long pause in replying to them, that -they might command my love and friendship, and -in that my all, to render them the utmost testimonies -that I could. And thus did we all agree -to have a friendly correspondence, and to conceal -nothing of our affairs one from another. We then -drank off some more Wine; and though their -two Ladies and the Captain were absent, yet we -remembred them in our Cups, and resolved the -next day to dine all on board the Ship: and at -my importunity I so far prevailed, as that the -Women might appear there in their own Female-Habits; -for it had now been a long time since I -saw any <em>European</em> beauties.</p> - -<p class='c000'>We after this discoursed of many affairs of general -consequence, as the manner of the Countries, -and Governments both Ecclesiastical and -Civil, in which we spent some time: but in regard -all that can be said of that matter, is already -related in the second Chapter of this second part; -I shall therefore here forbear it: but it wrought -much upon the spirit of the Drugster; who having -formerly been a great stickler in Religion, was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_292'>292</span>amazed that there was so good a correspondence -in Religion, which was as he imagined so barbarous: -Well, said he, I finde that most places -enjoy a greater happiness in their conformities -in Religion, then our Native Country of <em>England</em>; -for there, instead of Unity and loving Conformity, -they are rent and torn in peeces into -many Factions; and that hath been the principal -occasion of the effusion of so much blood -as hath been spilt of late years; and when I left -<em>England</em>, there was still a discontented party that -was ready on all occasions to attempt a publique -mischief for their private interest, and onely to -maintain a private self-will’d-fancy, which they -term’d Religion.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I my self was for a long time bewitcht with a -Fanatick Zeal; and my Master being a man of -the same Humour, had instill’d such Principles -into me, that I had much ado to have any charity -for any person that was in the right: but in -time I finding a great deal of strictness in the precise -practice, and that under pretence of much -Zeal, there was more Covetousness then in any -other perswasion; I quitted that perswasion for -another, and shifted so long, that I found my life -but one continued Comedy of errors. In the end I -went over to the Episcopal party, & one of the most -powerful reasons that I had to follow the Independant -perswasion, was a Woman, my Mistresses -Sister, as I suppose you have already heard. Yes, -said I, this our friend hath given me satisfaction -in that particular, and I very well approve of -the revenge you had upon her: and as for my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_293'>293</span>own part, I was once a very great Lover of the -Ramble my self, but left it, out of a more generous -consideration: for being in company with -an Orthodox Parson, he told me that I was -much mistaken in my opinions; he gave me such -a Character of a Libertine Zealot, as I knew to -be true, and wholly put me out of conceit with -the Faction: they were now all desirous to hear -what was said to that particular; and therefore -I told them I would recollect my self, and give -them the best account that I could, and such a -one as I believed they would conclude with me, -was not onely ingenious, but true: and thereupon -I began in this manner.</p> -<hr class='c003' /> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_294'>294</span> -<img src='images/i_b_074.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'><em>The Character of a Libertine <br /> Zealot.</em></h2> -</div> - -<p class='c005'>To describe him right, is a task like that of -the Taylor who took measure of the Devil; -for there is nothing more like him upon Earth -then he: He is lined with Covetousness, and covered -with Hypocrisie, the Root and Cloak of all -evil. Although at this time he carries a Bible, -yet upon occasion he wears a Sword; so that it is -hard to say, whether he be of the Tribe of <em>Simeon</em> -or <em>Levi</em>. He swallows contrary Oaths faster then -the Eagles in the Tower do gobbets of flesh; -for the way to Hell, and the Conscience of a -Libertine, are two broad things. He condemns -the lawful Rites and Ceremonies of the Church; -and is more ravished with the squeaking of a -Tythe-pig, then with the Musick of Organs.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He appears at his Preachment (like <em>Æsops</em> Crow) -in a dress of borrowed feathers; for he preaches -the works of other men, which are so much the -worse for the coming out of his mouth, as Wares -for being of the second hand. But it would grieve -your heart to see how he racks the ancient Fathers, -when he makes his own confession, and -mangles the Modern Divines more barbarously -then the Hang-man did the body of <em>Hugh Peters</em>; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_295'>295</span>I am sure poor <em>Priscian</em> gets many a broken -head.</p> - -<p class='c000'>His Eloquence consists altogether in rayling, -as though he had got his education at <em>Billinsgate</em>. -In his discourse he runs on like a Mad-dog, foaming -and open-mouth’d, yelping at the Reverend -Bishops; and even accounts many of his own -Brethren, the Sectaries, as mad as himself. Yet -sometimes he perceives that his stuff is too short -for the hour-Glass; and then the wheels of his -Rhetorick move very heavily: he then spends -much time in humming and spitting; and with -the wiping of his Nose, makes many a filthy Parenthesis.</p> - -<p class='c000'>As for his Text, he handles that as <em>Moses</em> did -his Rod when it was turned into a Serpent, he -lays it down, and runs away from it: yet his -Sermon lies all written before him; for the poor -Copy-holder in Divinity can do nothing without -his Notes. This his weakness, he would have -you think, is his worth; for he chargeth men -of abler parts with presumption: Yet when he -prays, he shuts his Eyes, preferring Nonsense -and Tautologies before the Divine Lyturgy. -<em>Vain Wretch, that dares not speak to men without -Papers, and yet presumes to talk to God</em> extempore! -As for his Congregation, he Saints or reprobates -them, according to what they give him; -and like a Gypsie, tells good Fortune to none -but those that cross his hand with a piece of silver; -and by him, as well as by the Pope, you -may be Canonized for mony: Thus he is a meer -<em>Balaam</em>, that blesseth and curseth for reward: he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_296'>296</span>that opposeth him, acts the part of an Angel; but -he that submits to him is worse then an Ass. -If you consider his constancy, he is a kind of <em>Religious -Proteus</em>, that is now ready to fawn upon that -Power against which he hath so long bark’d. If -therefore there be a Church in <em>England</em> which consists -of men, surely, <em>The Orthodox, faithful, -constant Ministers, are the Doors, Windows, Pillars, -Bells and Candlesticks</em>; and the rest serve -only for <em>Weathercocks</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>It is confessed, that at the beginning of this -happy Reformation, he was a little stubborn: perhaps, -expecting a second War; but now (poor -heart) he hath learned to pray for his Majesty: -but (if you could hear the language of his Soul) -it is so, as impatient heirs pray for their rich fathers. -There are two sorts of men, who having -escaped a deserved pair of Gallows, pray for the -King very strangely, that is, a Felon, whilst the -Executioner burns his hand; and a Traytor, whilst -the Devil sears his Conscience.</p> - -<p class='c000'>If you would know his name, you may finde -it subscrib’d to an ugly Petition; for where <em>Bradshaw</em> -was a <em>Pilate</em> that condemned, he was one of -those Jews that cry’d Crucifie. He professes sorrow -for the Martyrdom of our late Soveraign; -but believe him not, for his hand helped to hale -him to the Block. In a word, he is (at best) but -a State-Crocodile, and one that is Maudlin-drunk -with the Kings blood.</p> - -<p class='c000'>No more, but if you chance to meet with a Hue -and Cry, you may tell them, that he was lately -in a Sequestred Parsonage.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_297'>297</span>This Character was hugely pleasing to the -Drugster; and indeed, he and his two Companions, -the Scrivener, and <em>Gregory</em> the Taylor, did -all conclude, that it was very ingeniously true, -and gave much satisfaction to them in that particular; -and they all agreed, <em>That the Dissenters -from the Church, were the Murtherers of their -Prince</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They all so well approving of what had been -said of these Varlets, I told them that I could -likewise relate somewhat else of the same Gentlemans -composure, who writ that <em>Character</em>; and -which I did conclude to be altogether as ingenious, -and that it was a great novelty, having never -as yet been in Print: they being earnest in -their desires to hear me, I told them it was only -the fifth Fable of <em>Æsop</em> Moralized; and thereupon -I began as follows:</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>The Brutes would once go hunt: a nimble Crew</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Of those that dwell in Dens and Caves pursue</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And take a goodly Stag, who in his fall</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Proclaims sufficient booties unto all.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Each Beast being troubled with their hungry maws,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Were urging Clyents to their panting Jaws:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Divide, says one; another cries, Cast lots;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>With that, the Lyon Roars, Away ye Scots:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Who’s that who says divide? pray be content,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>The first part’s mine, because most excellent;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And but one part! nay, then you do me wrong,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A second part is mine, because most strong;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And if you dare give credit to my word,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Our pain and sweat have merited a third.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em><span class='pageno' id='Page_298'>298</span>Now there remains a fourth, which is but small,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And scarce worth speaking of amongst you all;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Which you may give me willingly; and thus,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Renew the friendship betwixt you and us.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Be wise therefore; is it more safe to move</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A Lyons anger, or confirm his love?</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>For if you shew the least unwillingness,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>I’ll make you know the Senior of your Mess.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>This said, the Hunters were amaz’d thereat;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>They knew their distance, and they durst not prate,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>But hung their tails betwixt their legs for shame,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And went away more hungry then they came.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>This, said I, was the Fable, which though it -had already admitted of many Paraphrases and -Morals, yet was never yet in my opinion so fit -and aptly moralized, as in what I shall here recite, -which I did thus:</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>But take away the Brutes, and clear the Stage;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Enter those mighty Nimrods of the Age:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>That cursed Crew that hunted for a Throne,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>And made a Babel in Religion.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Lo here they come, that</em> England <em>did express</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>To be more brutish than a Wilderness:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A Wide-mouth’d-yelping-cur, with a long ear,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Of a Scotch brood, they call’d him ----:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Cerberus was his Syre, and for his dam</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A Beast to whom</em> Adam <em>never gave name.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>The solemn Covenant which he did take,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Hung like a pair of Couples on his neck:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>The which he soon shook off; nay more, the Dog</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Threw by his conscience, 'twas a tedious Clog.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em><span class='pageno' id='Page_299'>299</span>And then began the game: Actæons hounds</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Ne'er gave their Master half so many wounds,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>As these their King: it was a hellish brood</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>That took the sent of none but Royal blood.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Loud was their Cry, and nimble was their Race;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A sadder hunting far than</em> Chevy Chase.</div> - <div class='line'><em>But at the length, the Royal Hart they take,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Nor would they spare his life for</em> Cæsars <em>sake;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>But he must dye, yet Noble ---- scorns</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>His share, ---- onely got the Horns.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>But like the Lyon,</em> Cromwel, <em>that great man,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Made of</em> Behemoth <em>and</em> Leviathan,</div> - <div class='line'><em>Thus speaks; And do you think, my friends, to share</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>That Prize in Peace, which I obtain’d in War?</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Divide the spoil, and then as General I</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Claim the first part due for my Excellency.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A second part our able strength demands;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>A third is mine, 'cause these victorious hands</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>In all those fights wherein we had to do,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Were the most painful and most prosperous too.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Thus our activity, and strength, and worth,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Have won three parts, there onely rests a fourth;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Which we’ll with love accept, but if deny’d,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Our sword shall teach you better to divide.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Thus, as our Saviours Vesture, which might not</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Be cut in pieces, was obtain’d by lot:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>So our great</em> Charles <em>his power, which could not be</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Dissolv’d into an Aristocracie,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Was Tyrant</em> Cromwels <em>share; and now our whips</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Were turn’d to Scorpions: Now the grand Eclipse</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Began; we saw no Sun for twice seven years,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Onely two fatal Stars by turns appears:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Protectorship, and Rumpship did prevail:</em></div> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_300'>300</span>Nol <em>was the</em> Dragons <em>head, and they the tail.</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>But welcome</em> Charles <em>the Second, happy are we,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>That</em> Britain<em>’s Monarchy’s restor’d in thee;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>If</em> Cromwels <em>life had put a period to't,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>It’d both begun and ended in a Brute.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>If they were pleas’d with the foregoing Characters, -this Fable thus moralized gave them -much more satisfaction, and highly contented -them; for the truth contained in it, was undeniable, -and it was expressed with much ingenuity, -and they told me that certainly he that -composed these two things, the Character and -Fable, was a person very ingenious, and able to -convert any that were seduced in that Faction, -unless they were very obstinate, as most of that -Faction were: for having been Rebellious to -their Prince, they made that saying true, <em>That -Rebellion is as the sin of Witchcraft, not to be repented -of</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In this discourse of the several Factions in Religion -we spent some time; and the Drugster -being best acquainted with all of them, made a -discourse of every one in particular from top to -bottom: and when he came to speak of them, -he told us that he supposed there would now in -a short time be some end of these growing Factions; -Because, said he, that Quakerism is the -last that is risen up, and it is now above twelve -years since it began to be famous; and though -hitherto it encreases, yet they have not found -any other novelty from that, as at first there -<span class='pageno' id='Page_301'>301</span>was out of the first Religious faction: but there -is none that is produced by the Quaker; so -that it is hoped that will be the last of the Factions. -I have heard of one small Faction that -contradicts the Quakers, and that is one <em>Muggeltons</em> -Sect, who together with one <em>Reeve</em>, does pretend -to be the two last Witnesses that are to -come upon earth. <em>Reeve</em> is some time since dead, -but <em>Muggleton</em> surviving him, is a great enemy to -the Quakers, and their chief Opponent; for -they questioning his Call, he for that cause -Damns them; and so absolute he is, that he says, -after he hath damn’d them, they cannot be saved, -not by Providence it self. He professes in one -of his writings, being an Interpretation of the -11 Chapter of the <em>Revelations</em>, That he, and he -alone can give a true Interpretation of the Scripture, -and unfold the whole Counsel of God, concerning -himself, the Devil, and all Mankind -from the foundation of the world to all Eternity; -and this was never revealed by any of -the sons of men, untill now: Thus subscribing -his Papers, By <em>Lodowick Muggleton</em>, one of the -two last Commissionated Witnesses and Prophets -of the only High, Immortal, Glorious God, <em>Christ -Jesus</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>We told the Drugster that this Sect of <em>Muggletons</em> -we had not heard of; and I being very desirous -to be further acquainted with this opinion, -asked him if he had read his Writings, Yes, said -he, and there is as extraordinary matters and -opinions handled and treated of therein, as any -Sect that this last age hath produced: nay, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_302'>302</span>and more absolute he would make himself then -all others; but he more especially writes against -the Quakers, in a manner condemning them all -in general. I desiring to be more particularly informed -of his writings, he granted my request, -and proceeded as followeth:</p> - -<p class='c000'>This Book of his writing, said he, falling into -the hands of one <em>Edward Bourn</em> a Quaker, is by -him despised and cavilled at; for, he said that he -had perused it till he was weary with looking into -it, for it was one of the dirtiest and confusedst pieces -of work that ever he saw: and many other particular -cavils had he against it; which <em>Muggleton</em> -hearing of, is so much offended, that he writes a -Letter to him, dated in <em>August</em> 1662. and there -he thus concludes: <em>I write these Lines unto you</em> -Edward Bourn, <em>knowing you to be of the seed of -the Serpent, and appointed to eternal Damnation -before you were born; though you know it not, -I do know it, by your speaking evil of that Doctrine -which is declared by us the Witnesses of the Spirit, -by calling it deceit, confusion, and lies, with many -more wicked speeches against the purest truth that -ever was declared by Prophet or Apostle, because -this is the Commission of the Spirit, and the last -Witness of God on Earth</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>Therefore, for these your hard sayings against the -Doctrine of this Commission of the Spirit; In obedience -unto my Commission, I pronounce you cursed -and damned, both Soul and Body, from the presence -of God, elect men and Angels, to Eternity; -neither shall that light within you, nor any God -deliver you from this curse, but according to my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_303'>303</span>word it shall be upon you, because you shall know, -that God hath given power unto Man to curse you -to eternity, and that there is a Prophet of the -Lord now in</em> England.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This Letter being thus subscribed, was printed -and sent to the said <em>Edward Bourn</em>. Also another -to one <em>Samuel Hooker</em> and <em>W. S.</em> both Quakers, -wherein amongst other things he thus -writes:</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>First, I declare as I am a Prophet and Messenger -of the true God, that the people called Quakers are -not the children of the most high God, but for the -generality of them, they are children of the Devil, -and are the very Seed of the Devil, and were begotten -by him; and I (as I am an Ambassador ordained -of God by voyce of Words) can as truely say; that -they are the Seed of the Serpent, and so the children -of the Devil, as Christ did to the Jews, when he said, -that</em> they were Serpents, <em>yea</em> Devils, <em>and the</em> -Devil was their father. <em>So can I say by you Quakers, -and many thousands more as well as you, that -you were the children of the Devil, that were begotten -by him, and not begotten by</em> Adam, <em>who never -came through the loyns of</em> Adam, <em>though they came -through the womb of</em> Eve. <em>For this I know,</em> Cain -<em>was the first-born of the Devil, and</em> Adam <em>had no -part in the begetting of him. And from this</em> Cain -<em>came the Jews that Christ called</em> Serpents <em>and</em> Devils.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Much more he writes against the Quakers, and -is as absolute in his sentence of Damnation against -these two, being almost in the same words -as the former. His writings in general are filled -<span class='pageno' id='Page_304'>304</span>with many strange Opinions, and he is now the -greatest Enemy of the Quakers, telling them, -that they are but some of the melancholy sort -of Ranters, and by falling from Ranting to -Quaking, are now worse then before; for before -they were in the Wilderness, but are now returned -back into <em>Egypt</em>, and so the further off -from entring into the Land of <em>Canaan</em>: and in -one place he is pretty pleasant with the Quakers, -for saith he, The greatest things that ever -I heard the Quakers do, is to find fault with a -piece of Ribbon, Gold-button, or a Bandstring, -and such like, and to possess themselves with a -melancholly spirit of Witchcraft, and so fall into -Witchcraft-fits, to lie humming and groaning, -which doth fright the beholders; so instead of -those merry-Devils which they had upon the -Ranting-score, where all was good, lying with -their Neighbours wife, deflowring Virgins, cozening -and cheating, and destroying every one -in their outward Estate which did entertain -them, and now that Devil is cast out, now they -are grown in as much extream on the other side; -for now they are grown so precise and exact for -Apparel and for words, no words must be placed -out of joynt, so that no man can almost tell -how to deal with them; and this melancholly -Devil hath cast out the Ranting Devil, which -makes them so proud and stiff-necked, thinking -themselves that they are better then other people, -when as they are worse; for they are possessed -with the Spirit of Witchcraft, which -makes them two-fold more the children of the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_305'>305</span>Devil then they were before; which none can -discover but this Commission of the Spirit; neither -did I ever hear by any which heard the Quakers -speak, that they did ever preach any sound -Doctrine, but only exhort people to hearken to -the light within them, which is a very low & easie -thing for every ordinary understanding to comprehend; -and this is the cause there is such a multitude -of men and women fall into it, <em>&c.</em> And -thus did he proceed, his whole writing being to -pull them down, and set himself up.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Soon after the Printing of these Letters, I met -with a Quaker, an acquaintance of mine, and -asked of him whether he had seen these Letters of -<em>Muggletons</em>, which went by the name of <i>The Neck -of the Quakers broken, or cut in sunder by the two-edg’d -sword of the Spirit, which is put into my -mouth</i>. He reply’d, Yea he had. What thinkest -thou, said I, of those of your perswasion in general, -and more particularly of those persons -whom he hath damn’d? I think him to be a deluded -person, said he, for I have known him -long, and also his fellow Prophet <em>Reeve</em>, who is -since dead: and I remember this one passage, -that one of our perswasion did calmly discourse -with <em>Reeve</em> about many principal things of his -Judgement and Opinion: and though they did -not agree to every thing, yet <em>Reeve</em> said he believed -he would be converted, for that he was confident -he was of the seed of Faith, and not of -that of the Devil; onely that his eyes were not -yet opened, but in time they would. And thus -they parted.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_306'>306</span>Soon after <em>Muggleton</em> (who was always more -vigilant than <em>Reeve</em>) being affronted by some -Quakers, according to his custom pronounced -the sentence of damnation against them; which -the Quakers who had discoursed with <em>Reeve</em> hearing, -and meeting with <em>Muggleton</em>, told him he -had done very ill, in being so rash as to damn -them: And further, charged him with wandring -up and down to make Sects. To this <em>Muggleton</em> -replyed; It is not I, it is those of the Quakers -that wander up and down; as those that went -to <em>New England</em>, and <em>John Perrot</em> unto <em>Rome</em>, -to get the Pope and his Bishops to be Disciples of -Christ; and there to be punished in his body: -and when he came home again, to be damn’d -to eternity, by me, for his pains; because he -went by the light within him, and was not sent -by the voice of God without him: Therefore -eternal damnation will be his reward for going -without a Commission from God; and so will all -the Ministers of the Quakers. And whereas you -say that my mouth is full of cursing, and that I -shall reap of the same; likewise you say, that I -am out of <em>Christs</em> and the Apostles Doctrine, that -said, <em>bless and curse not</em>, with many other sayings: -As for my mouth being full of cursing, that is -my Commission: neither do I curse any but Devils, -which are appointed for it of God; and -there is never a one that I have cursed, that shall -escape that curse which I have denounced upon -them; neither will any God deliver them from -it: for I do curse none but the Seed of the Serpent, -who had his curse denounced upon him -<span class='pageno' id='Page_307'>307</span>and his Seed, at the beginning by God himself.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To this discourse of <em>Muggletons</em>, our Brother -the Quaker making some angry reply, in contradicting -what he had said, <em>Muggleton</em> did for that -cause presently pronounce the sentence of Damnation, -alledging that he was of the Seed of the -Devil. Thus, said the <em>Quaker</em>, though <em>Reeve</em> said -he was not of the Seed of the Devil; yet <em>Muggleton</em>, -his fellow-Prophet, said he was, and therefore -proceeded against him to damnation. Now -whether he be damned or saved, judge you: And -therefore, said he, I think it matters not much -what he says, because they thus contradict one -another.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And thus we parted, and I concluded, that as -it was no great matter what <em>Muggleton</em> said or -did; so there was no great heed to be taken with -what was, or should be said or done by the <em>Quakers</em>: -I believing and knowing that what <em>Muggleton</em> -had said of them as to their humours, and -falling from <em>Ranting</em> to <em>Quaking</em>, and such like -particulars, to be true; though I believed him, -and all other Factions to be alike deluded and -mistaken in the general.</p> - -<p class='c000'>And, continued he, though this <em>Muggletons</em> -opinions and Doctrine be thus strange, and he a -very inconsiderable unlearned fellow, being by -Profession a Taylor; yet he hath gained many to -his belief, who give him much respect; but he -takes no money of them, onely he gets his writings -printed, and distributing them among his -people, they pay him for them: but in the main, -he works at his Trade for a lively-hood: and he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_308'>308</span>hath, as well as the <em>Quakers</em>, suffered Imprisonment, -but hath been released and favoured, as I -have heard, by some persons of Honour, who are -well-willers to him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did the Drugster discourse of the Factions, -and we with him did hope and conclude, that since -there was no greater a growth in faction, there -having been no new ones for some years last past, -that it was more then probable that they would -consume and moulder away of themselves.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The forenoon being spent wholly in the large -Narrative of the Adventures of my now fellow-Companions -and Guests, and the most of the afternoon -in this Discourse, it was time now to -think of parting; and they being mindful of the -entertainment they were to give me the next day -on board of their Ship, being out of my house -furnished with some necessary provisions, all -parted from me.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_309'>309</span> -<img src='images/i_b_060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>He is treated by the Travellers on board of their -Ship, where he sees the two women-Travellers: -he invites and entertains them at his house; where -upon enquiry and discourse, he discovers the two -Women to be of his acquaintance when in</em> England.</p> - -<p class='c005'>My Company being thus parted from me, I -began to consider all the passages that had -been this day related to me; and after a serious -contemplation of them, I concluded, that I -might place this day as the most remarkable in -all my life; for I was acquainted with so much -variety of experiences, as I had in a manner -been hitherto wholly ignorant of; what had -happened to me in the former part of my life, -having been trivial in comparison of what I had -now lately heard: and I concluded, that if I -should have travelled to all parts of the world -to have found out Companions fit for me, I -could never have been better accommodated -with those that should have been so agreeable -to my natural inclination, then those whom fortune -had now brought to me. I had long since -made it my resolve, to make my life as comfortable -as I could, according to the old saying amongst -those of my quality, <em>Though a short life, -yet a merry</em>: and I saw Providence had put such an -<span class='pageno' id='Page_310'>310</span>opportunity into my hands, that I had all things -provided for me, and nothing before their arrival -was wanting but such a Society. For I had -a plentiful estate, but that gave me little content, -being without the usual society of the Wits; -and I now was likely not only to enjoy that in a -full measure, but also there was some female -Company, the two Lasses in Mens apparel, who -I understood were good Girls, and such I hoped -as would not prove hard-hearted, and deny one -of their Country-men the usual civility of their -enjoyments: I did not much question it, because -indeed I was so much in favour with <em>Venus</em>, that -I was hardly ever refused that courtesie by any -of her Votaresses.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I told my wife, there was a great likelihood of -much profit to be gained by these Guests, who -were resolved to take up my house wholly for -their quarters, and therefore I ordered all -things to be provided in ample manner for their -constant entertainment: for though I was now -rich enough, yet I knew not how soon fortune -might turn tayl upon me, and therefore knowing -that my Guests were all well provided with -Moneys, I was resolved to put in with them for -a share of it: But I had no thoughts of wronging -them, or putting any trick upon them; for -it is accounted a very great crime in the greatest -proficient of Roguery, to cozen or cheat his fellow-Thief, -and a thing seldome done amongst -them. I had now some thoughts of leaving my -black wife and that Country; and when these -my new acquaintance should leave this place for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_311'>311</span>another, as I suppose they would, then to go -with them, for there was nothing there that -gave any great invitation to stay in it, my inclination -leading me rather to visit some <em>European</em> -Country.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These considerations took me up some time; -and night coming on, I betook me to my Cot, -where I took my ordinary repose; and the next -morning being come, I apparelled my self the -richest that I could, that I might add some grace -to my person, being to visit two of my Country-women, -in whose favour I was desirous to get -some place. Being thus accoutred, I went to -the Sea-side, and with the help of a Boat was -soon aboard the Ship; where I was welcomed -by the Captain and the rest of the Company, -and by them conducted into the great Cabin, -where was no other Company but the two Women; -who now being apparelled in their Womans -habit <i>A la mode d'Anglois</i>, I was very well -pleased, not having for a long time seen any -thing so acceptable and pleasant: I had not forgotten -our English Fashion of saluting them, -neither were they backward in rising and meeting -me in order thereto: that done, I placed my -self between them; I soon began a discourse to -them, which I knew would not at all be displeasing, -and that was commending their Beauties, -telling them, that if the present Emperour -of the Country, the <em>Great Mogul</em>, did but understand -what a treasure he had in his Country by -their arrival, that he would quickly secure it to -himself, and hinder the prosecution of their -<span class='pageno' id='Page_312'>312</span>Voyage any further. To this they reply’d, -that they did not believe he would see any thing -in them that should merit such an esteem: but -added one of them, If he should do so, and be -never so desirous of my Company, yet I am better -satisfied (in the Society that I am at present -in possession of) then if I were courted and served -by the greatest Prince upon Earth.</p> - -<p class='c005'>To this so generous speech, I repli’d, that -those persons who had the honour to be her servants -were in that very happy. These Complements -being pass’d, drink was brought, and after -that Victuals, which we had in great plenty, -there being no want of any thing that could be -had at the best mans table in <em>England</em>; and all -the dishes of Meat were dress’d in the English fashion, -by a Cook of that Country. After Dinner -we fell again to discourse, the Women being -very desirous of Novelties, and to be acquainted -with the Customs of the Country, especially -of those used by Women: but when I told -them of that Custom of the better sort of Country-women, -how they usually accompanied their -Husbands in death, by burning their living -with their Husbands dead bodies, they were not -very well pleased therewith, accounting it great -folly: for, said they, it cannot possibly do -their Husbands any good, and why they should -so destroy themselves out of a complement, was -foolish. To pass through, and accompany a -Husband or Friend whilst living in all dangers, -is what is befitting; but there being no remedy -<span class='pageno' id='Page_313'>313</span>for death, nor no present enjoyment after -death, thus to cast away themselves, is ridiculous. -We allowed of their Opinions, as grounded -upon reason: I asked them how they liked -our Men, the Inhabitants; Not at all, said one -of them, as a Husband or Bed-fellow, but if -there were no other man to be had, we must be -contented with them, rather than none, as well -as you are with the Native-women. Various -were our Discourses in which we entertained -one another with much pleasure, having a lusty -bowl of Punch still standing by us, which as we -drank off, we renewed, and at some of our frolicks, -one of the great Guns was discharged. I -had ey’d both these women very curiously, and -did imagine, that, I had formerly seen them, and -had some acquaintance with them. I knew one -of them more particularly by the tone of her -voice, but it having been so long since I had seen -either, I could not call them to mind; I did not -at all think it convenient to ask them any particular -questions, referring that to a greater privacy. -I being now acquainted with most of their -transactions, they asked my advice in disposing -their moneys, and selling their Commodities, -and what to buy to turn to the best advantage? -To all these Questions I gave them the best answers -I could, to their satisfaction; and now -night coming on, I desired to leave them, and -invited them all to my house the next day, they -not only concluded on that, but agreed that the -Women should constantly take my house for -<span class='pageno' id='Page_314'>314</span>their quarters, it being more convenient then -on board of the Ship, they coming in their mens -apparel, and I providing for them with all privacy; -to this I agreed, and after a fresh cup of Wine, and -my ordinary salutes to the women, I left them, -and went home to my wife, who at my desire provided -all things necessary, not only for the next -days entertainment, but for the future conveniency -of my lodgers, who were not to be known -to her for other than men.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The next day they came, and we were again all -merry; but some occasions calling away the men, -the women were left alone with me. I was now -resolv’d to enquire whether they had never known -me: they both replied, Not that they at present -knew of; but they both said, that certainly they -had seen me in <em>England</em>, but at present they could -not remember where: wherefore they prayed me -to give them some account of my condition and -quality when I lived in <em>England</em>: To this I repli’d, -that I had been indeed of all conditions, -and a very rambler, and it was a great chance, -but if they had been in any publique house of -Entertainment, that I might have seen them -there: to this they both answered, that they had -for some time been publique enough in entertaining -Gentleman in their Company with much freedom: -But, said one of them, who was the Scriveners -Mistress, I have certainly seen and known -you before I undertook any such courses, for if -I be not mistaken, you are the man did first deceive -me, and therefore, I pray, tell me, if in your -travels in <em>England</em>, you did not light into a Farmers -<span class='pageno' id='Page_315'>315</span>house, and did some kindnesses or discourtesies -to his Daughter, and then left her. I hearing -her say this, after some small pause, recollected -my self, and seriously viewing her, concluded -her to be the very Farmers Daughter whose -Maidenhead I had bereaved her of, and in requital -left her, and gave her no other satisfaction -then a paper of Verses. I now being resolv’d -in my opinion, ran to her, and embracing her, -begg’d pardon for that affront, telling her, that it -was onely one of those many youthful tricks -whereof I had been guilty. She at first out of -sence of the affront that I had done her, could -not forbear weeping; but I gave her so many -good words, that in fine she was well enough satisfied, -and lovingly permitted me to embrace and -kiss her.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The other woman hearing that my acquaintance -with her Companion began with the loss of her -Virginity, mused and blushed, and very strictly beholding -me, said, And truly, if I be not mistaken, -I purchased my acquaintance with you with -the same loss: but I was deceived by you in a -more subtil manner than this my Companion; for -she knowing you to be a man, permitted you to -her bed (as she hath formerly related to me.) But -if you are the person that I mean (as I now think -you are) you became my bedfellow by a mistake; -for not onely I, but many others of the Family -believed you to be a Woman. I hearing -her say this, fixed my eyes upon her, but could -not yet perfectly remember her: but to the discourse -<span class='pageno' id='Page_316'>316</span>she made, I gave this answer; Truly Madam, -I have been often guilty of Female frauds; -and during the whole course of my life, I endeavoured -chiefly to have the company of a -Female; and I hope if you were one of those -with whom I lay at a Boarding-school, where I -went for a Servant-Maid, that you will forgive -me that fact; for if it were not there, I then -cannot tell where I should have so much happiness -as to enjoy you. There it was, replyed -she, where I lost my Virginity and honour, and -which I have so often repented of; for I was -then well-beloved of an indulgent Father, who -for that fact cast me off; and ever since I have -been forced to wander like a Vagabond, and by -infamous courses to gain a livelyhood, and with -this she wept.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was much amaz’d at these two adventures, -and indeed pittyed them both; but more especially -the last, whom I had so long since deceaved; -and seeing her tears, I kneel’d down -to her, begging her pardon, and telling her that -what was pass’d, was not to be prevented or -help’d; but if she pleas’d, I would for the future -be her humble servant in assisting her in -what I might. To this she told me, that she -knew there was no remedy for what was passed; -but that the remembrance of that first misfortune -could not but sensibly afflict her, but she -should throw off that sorrow, and make the best -of a bad matter; and thank providence, that -since it was no better that it was no worse: and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_317'>317</span>as she had hitherto been well enough contented -with her condition, so she intended to frame her -spirit and minde to be so for the future; and -that now she had the satisfaction she had often -desired in seeing that person, who first tasted and -crop’d her Virgin-Flower. Her Companion did -likewise say, that it was the greatest satisfaction -she had ever received since the loss of -my company, that she had again found me; for -(notwithstanding my base and abrupt leaving -her) she had still preserved a more cordial love -for me, then for any person she had ever since -then enjoy’d: The other said the same, and -though I was partly unknown to her, when I -lay with her, as being disguised in womans apparel; -yet she still had me in her memory, and -often wished for the sight of me: And from -this discourse we all concluded, that though a -woman had many Husbands or Servants, yet -she seldom loved any man with so much affection, -as him with whom she first tryed and tasted -the effects of love, and who had her Virginity.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Well Ladies, said I, I am so much bound to -you for preserving an affection for me, who have -so unworthily deserved it, That I shall dedicate -the remaining part of my life, wholly to -obey and serve you. As for that profession of -your love now, said the Drugsters Mistress, (who -was the youngest, and her, who I had enjoy’d -at the Boarding-school) it matters not much, -for we have had experience enough in the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_318'>318</span>World to shift for our selves; and neither are we -unprovided of those who you know are our servants, -and who will take care for us, and save you -that trouble. No trouble at all, replyed I, but an -honour which I pray you to bestow on me to serve -you in any degree.</p> - -<p class='c000'>They were very much surpriz’d, and so was I at -this adventure: And I thought it was best to talk -no more of it at present: wherefore I call’d for some -Wine, and such banqueting cheer as I had, and -desired them to participate of it, which they did; -and so I at present diverted them from that profound -melancholy, wherein they were brought upon this -occasion. At length they again reassumed their jovial -temper; and beginning to be a little frollick, -I assisted them in that humour: but I was very -earnest to know their adventures, being, as I supposed -somewhat concerned therein, they being both -with Child by me when I left them; I therefore -beg’d the satisfaction to know what did become of -the Fruit of our enjoyments, those Children which -I suppose they had by me; for I told them I was -not unsensible of the condition I left them in, when -I parted from them. Truly, reply’d the Drugsters -Mistress, who was named <em>Mary</em>, I know not at -all what became of mine since it was born. And, -said the other, who was the Scriveners Mistress, and -was named <em>Dorothy</em>, and had been the Farmers -Daughter, I know but little of mine since it was a -year old. I was desirous to hear of both of them -their several fortunes, or rather misfortunes since -I first knew them; and they agreeing to give me that -<span class='pageno' id='Page_319'>319</span>satisfaction, it was concluded that Mrs. <em>Mary</em>, -with whom I had first to do, should first relate her -story: and therefore she began as followeth.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> -<img src='images/i_b_060.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXIV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>Mrs. Mary relates how that she, being got with -Child at the Boarding-school, is renounced by -her Parents, but provided for her by her Aunt, -where she lay in of a Daughter: after which she is -courted in way of marriage by a Gentleman, who -hearing of her mischance, instead of marriage -onely abuses her; and being ingaged in a quarrel -about her, leaves her to shift for her self,</em> -&c.</p> - -<p class='c005'>In the discourse that I shall make to you concerning -those accidents or misfortunes that have -befallen me, I shall neither be reserved nor tedious, -but plain and short; for I have no reason to disguise -any of my actions to two such persons, who are so -generally well acquainted with the general affairs of -the World, and who have such a particular knowledge -of me: Though, said she to me, I must needs -confess I received very much pleasure in the first -imbraces I had with you; when, though I supposed -my self in bed with one of my own Sex, yet I -found the contrary, and then tasted the pleasures -of a Male bedfellow: though, said I, the -sweets of that converse were delightful at present; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_320'>320</span>yet I have through that onely occasion suffered -many crosses, and been accompanied with much -affliction and trouble, which soon overtook me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was very young, not being above sixteen -years of age when I first lay with you; and so -innocent I was at that age, that I did not imagine -that I should have found so sudden an alteration -in my body, as was thereby occasioned; -neither did I conceive what would be the effects -thereof, till some of my other companions, who -had lain with you before me, were discovered to -be sick, and the occasion of their distemper being -enquired into, it was found they were with -Child, and then I did guess my self to be in the -same condition.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I suppose you are not ignorant of what you -had done, and therefore took your flight; but -though you contrived your escape cunningly -enough by putting on mens apparel, yet it was -observed, and you were followed so narrowly, -that we supposed you had been taken, but it -proved otherwise. Yes, replied I, when I made -my escape, I made for <em>London</em>, and being habited -in a suit of Clothes of my Mistresses sons, I -was fearful of being discovered and known by -them, and therefore meeting with a young man -of my acquaintance: I remember, I perswaded -him to exchange Clothes with me, and so I escaped; -but I would gladly know how he came off. -Truely, replied Mrs. <em>Mary</em>, that story was somewhat -strange, for the Constable who seized him, -had orders not to make much noise in the matter, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_321'>321</span>but only to secure him at present in his -own house, which he having done, came to our -Boarding-School, and acquainted our Mistress that -he had secured the party; this being known, my -Mistress sent her son whose Clothes were stollen to -the place; where in stead of finding our maid <em>Jane</em> -(for by that name, I remember you went, when -you lived with us) he saw a strange young man in -his Clothes, though he was told before you had -his Clothes on, which he yet saw before him, yet -he knew you well enough, not to be so mistaken: -for the party that was in that habit was nothing -like you; he therefore thought that all that had -been reported to him was false, till he had made -a further enquiry of the young man your friend, -who was first asked, where he had those Clothes: -he not knowing any reason he should deny any -thing of the truth, freely and fully acknowledged -that he had them in exchange of his own, of -a young man his friend; and being asked many -other questions, As whether he knew you? and -knew you to be a man? and where this exchange -was made? He fully resolved his Examiners of -all questions, and proved the exchange of Clothes -by the people of the house where the exchange -was made.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Mistresses son being returned with this answer -to his Mother, it caused great wonder in -all who were not privy to your disguize, but -there being about seven or eight of us, who were -knowing of that secret, and were known to lie -with you, we were all privately examined, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_322'>322</span>some of us having been sick for some time before, -and now strictly examined of the cause, and whether -we knew any thing of your disguize, and whether -you were man or woman; we could not hide -or deny our knowledge thereof. Upon this discovery, -our Mistress (though she was termed a -very discreet person) was so outragious, that we -thought she would have lost the ordinary use of her -Sences; and several revenges she propounded to -take of you, not thinking you were escaped her -power: but when she understood that you were -gone, she caused all privy search and enquiry to -be made after you, but to no purpose. The young -man, your friend, who had been secured, was discharged, -as being found wholly innocent of the -crime; and neither was he deprived of his Clothes, -but had them freely given to him, and a good -sum of money promised him if he could find and -secure you: but though much endeavour was -used to find you, yet I could never hear any thing -of you, till this late encounter.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But to proceed in my story, our Mistress upon -second thoughts resolved to keep this business -private for some longer time, to see how many -of those seven or eight with whom you had lain, -would prove with child; and it was not long -before she found that five of the number were -pregnant, whereof I was one. How she ordered -the matter with the rest, I know not; but for my -own part, my father being made acquainted -with my misfortune, wholly refused to take -any care or notice of me; neither have I ever -<span class='pageno' id='Page_323'>323</span>since seen his face; for though I suppose he loved -me well enough; yet I had a Mother-in-law, who -might perswade him to slight me, and made use of -this occasion to throw me off: but though I was -thus cast off by my father, yet I had an Aunt, who -was sister to my own mother, who came and visited -me; and finding that what was pass’d could not -be help’d, took me home with her to her house, -where after the usual time of Womens breeding -and bearing children, I was delivered of a Daughter, -which was soon after its birth sent further -into the Country to be nursed: and I suppose it -was carried thus privately, in hopes to soulder up -the crack that might be in my reputation, which -though it did for the present, yet it soon after -brake out again.</p> - -<p class='c000'>For a young Gentleman who lived in the next -Town to that where my Aunt dwelt, having -seen me, fell deeply in love with me, and often -waited on me at my Aunts, and took many opportunites -of meeting me abroad. Though I -liked and loved him well enough, and could have -been pleased to have entertained his love with -liking at the first offer of it, yet I was commanded -by my Aunt to stand off, and be coy in my -entertaining of him, lest, as she said, he might -by my freeness suspect me of lightness: for the -matter had been so privately carried in my lying -in, that it was not known to him, nor any, -but some few in the House; and to all others I -passed as a Virgin. I taking this advice of my -Aunt, gave him but indifferent entertainment; -<span class='pageno' id='Page_324'>324</span>so that he who was passionately in love with me, -devised all ways he could to woe, please and win -me; and to that end he not only presented me -with many Gifts, as marks of his affection, but -also (according to custom) and that so largely, -that she promised him all her assistance, and gave -him notice of all opportunities whereby he might -wait on me, and please me. All things were now -brought to a very good pass, and my Aunt -had so prudently managed this affair, that my -Father was content to part from a considerable -sum of money for my advancement; which was -to the full satisfaction of the Gentleman who -courted me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>There wanted nothing now to conclude this affair -but the accomplishment of a few days, in which -all Writings were to be sealed, and the Wedding -to be consummated; when all was undone, and in -that I undone, by the treachery and perfidiousness -of this my servant-maid. For she having received -Gifts of the young Gentleman, and I having angred -her in a trivial matter, she to be revenged on -me, did acquaint my Suitor with my condition, -and that I should not die of my first child, for he -should be a father the first day of Marriage. Although -at her first declaring this matter to him, he -could not give credit thereto, yet she affirmed -the same with so many, and so earnest asseverations, -that he was confirmed in that belief, and -therefore enjoyning her to secresie and assistance, -and to that end presenting her with somewhat -that was considerable, he left her; and now -<span class='pageno' id='Page_325'>325</span>being resolved to deceive me as I intended him; -he ordered his affairs accordingly, and to that -end he caused some delay to be used in the -Writings.</p> - -<p class='c000'>We being now, as I thought, as good as man -and Wife, I entertained him with much freedom, -and he courted me with less observance, coming -now closer to me in his salutes and embraces: I -was so pleased with him in all his actions, that I -became wholly at his Devotion, and therefore -without the consent and knowledge of my Aunt, -we went together out of the Town to a merry-making -of several of his Acquaintance, where we -stay’d somewhat late, and he having caused me -to drink to a good height, made a halt by the -way, and we went into an Inn of his Acquaintance, -he pretending somewhat was amiss in one -of his Horses shoes: here we having privacy, he -attempted to be more free with me then ever, -and prevailed so far with me, that he had the -examining of my Plackett, with more freedom -then modesty would allow of; but though he -would have proceeded further, yet I refused it; -he seeing this desisted, and we again remounted -our Horses, and he conducted me safely to my -Aunts: but although it was very late, yet she sat -up, and expected me; and expressed her self very -angry with him for keeping me out so unseasonably; -he did not well rellish her words, but reply’d -somewhat tartly to her again; which encreased -her anger, and raised it to some passion, -and so in anger they at that time parted, he riding -home to his own house. I was likewise sufficiently -<span class='pageno' id='Page_326'>326</span>school’d by my Aunt; but I excused all -with soft answers, and pleading obedience, which -I thought I was bound to pay him, being our -Marriage was so soon to be celebrated.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My Lover was resolved to make use of that -days experience of my easiness, and my Aunts -anger, which he was well enough pleased should -continue, and therefore forbore coming to visit -me; but he sent a messenger to my Maid (who -had betray’d me) to give him a meeting: she -obeyed his summons, and there, and then was -my ruine contrived; for it was agreed between -them two, that she should perswade me to be -ruled by him in every thing, without acquainting -my Aunt any more with my proceedings; and -a Letter was written, wherein he expressed a continuance -of his love, and desires of mine; and for -a proof thereof, he desired me to provide my self -to meet him at a place appointed; which I did, -and there we concluded to go for <em>London</em> together, -where he promised to marry me without any -more delays. I believing him in every thing -(being perswaded thereto by my treacherous servant) -took onely some few necessaries with me, -and so went to him. And thus leaving all, went -with him to <em>London</em>, where when we were arrived, -he went to some lodgings which he had provided, -as he said, for himself and wife. I was at first -contented with the discourse and name of wife; -but when bed-time came, I was not fully satisfied -to go to bed with him; which though I at -first opposed, yet in the end, after many protestations -<span class='pageno' id='Page_327'>327</span>of his next days performance of marriage, -I consented to, and thereby agreed to my undoing; -for the next day, instead of marriage, he -went out in the morning, leaving me onely with -the Landlady of the house, and returned not in -two days; and then he pretended he had been -in great vexation, for that the morning he left -me, he being going to speak with a Priest to marry -us, he was met with by a person, to whom he -was a little indebted, who basely trappan’d and -arrested him, and he was forced to be in the custody -of Bayliffs ever since, till he had perswaded a -friend to lend him some monies, which together -with what he had of his own, he said he had -paid to his debtor, and so was discharged. And -now, said he to me, I have sent home for some -more monies, which I know will be brought me -in two days time, and then I shall put an end to -this business of our marriage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Although I seemed discontented with what he -told me, and did begin to believe that he would -abuse me; yet I knew it was to no purpose to be -very angry, and onely caused him to give me -fresh protestations of the honesty of his intentions, -and that as soon as ever his money was come, he -would fulfil all my desires.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was I forced to be contented with what -he said, and to comply with him in all his desires: -for we lay together; but I kept within -doors very privately, refusing to be seen by -any body, till such time as our Wedding should -be over.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_328'>328</span>But though two or three days and a week was -now past since he pretended he had sent into the -Country for money, yet there came no returns; -at which I was very much discontented, he also -seeming dissatisfyed. I then told him, that I had -brought a small sum of money with me, which -I supposed would be sufficient to pay the charges -of that occasion. He asked me how much I -had, I told him about 10<em>l.</em> I remember he was -somewhat blanck, and at a nonpluss at this proposition: -but he soon recovering himself, told me -that he expected 100<em>l.</em> to be brought him, and -that would be little enough to defray all the charge -he intended to be at; for he proposed to lay -it all out in Clothes for me and himself, that we -might appear the more splendidly, not only to -some friends in <em>London</em>, whom he proposed to -visit soon after marriage, but also in the Country -whither he intended in short time to return -to demand my portion, and settle all things according -to the agreement of our friends: and -as for the small sum of 10<em>l.</em> he told me I would -have occasion to lay it out in trivial things on -that occasion.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was I put off at this time; and indeed -so often afterwards, that I in plain terms told -him that I supposed he intended to abuse me, -he being resolved to stand the brunt of all my -exclamations at this time, did not endeavour, -as formerly to pacifie me, but rather provoked -me to say more, and be more angry with -him, which I was, and reproached him with -<span class='pageno' id='Page_329'>329</span>the abuse he had done me. He having heard the -utmost of what I could say, in short told me, that -he was the abused party; for should he marry -me, as he intended, he should have a greater -charge to maintain then I had told him of, for -he had understood that I was Mother of a Childe; -and so the abuse that I would put on him was -double: I was so surprised with what he said, that -I was more dead then alive, and could not for a -long time speak to him? and when I attempted -it, I knew not what to say for my self, for he -directly told me, that he was acquainted with -every particular of that my misfortune: and thus -having said, he left me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Many and sad were the thoughts I entertained -in my minde, and I perceived my self to be miserable: -for to return to my Aunt, I knew it -would be to no purpose, I having thus abused -her in my last leaving her. Therefore I concluded -it was my best course at present to comply with -the desires of my first Lover, not knowing whom -to flee to for refuge; wherefore at his return -home, I began to him in tears to lament my sad -condition, begging his pardon for what was past, -cleerly confessing the truth of all my former -misfortune, and that I would for the future be -very obedient and constant to him in all things: -he gave me the hearing of what I said, and told -me all should be well; but I could never finde -him after that inclinable to marry me, onely -putting me off with one pretence or other; and -having a full enjoyment of me already, cared -for no more: and now to content and please -<span class='pageno' id='Page_330'>330</span>him, I must not only entertain several of his -friends at home at our lodging, but also wait on -him abroad; and instead of Wife, I passed for his -Cozen.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Amongst other persons that came to visit him, -there was a Gentleman of good quality, who -being of his intimate Acquaintance, was frequent -at our Lodgings: he taking his opportunity to -find me alone, made a tender of his love and service -to me, and offered me his assistance in every -thing I should command him. I finding that he -understood somewhat of my condition already, -and believing it would be to no purpose to conceal -any thing from him, did make him an exact -and true narrative of my misfortunes: he was -much troubled at the recital of things so strange, -but did comfort me the best he could, promising -me his best assistance in putting his friend on to -perform his promisie of Marriage: for, said he, -I know little reason he hath to deny or refuse it. -For your first misfortune at the Boarding-School, -was so subtil a business, that you cannot well be -blamed for it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This Gentleman accordingly did endeavour to -possess my hoped for Husband with that opinion, -and to perswade him to marry me, but all in -vain; for he had now all the sweets he could -expect from me, having lain with me now for -above a moneth together, and in that time I -endeavoured with all the artifice I could, to give -him all possible content: but he was now cloy’d; -and therefore told his friend, that for his Mistress -<span class='pageno' id='Page_331'>331</span>he intended to keep me, but never to -have me for a Wife. I was neer distracted when -this answer was told me; but the Gentleman -did again comfort me, promising that he hoped -in short time to put all things to rights again. -I seeing it was to no purpose to be angry, resolved -to bear all things with patience, and seem -to be frolick, which was to a good height; and -this Gentleman seeing me in so merry a humor, -was desirous to put in for a share in the pleasure -of my enjoyments, and to that end now courted -me indeed: he had been so civil to me in -these late transactions, that I could not handsomely -refuse him any thing; but however, -I for some time held out against all his loving -importunities; but he having an absolute freedome -in our lodging, so waited his opportunity, -that he won me to his embraces, and had a -full possession of me. Thus was I enjoyed by two -men; but my last lover was very cautious in -keeping this his enjoyment from the knowledge -of his friend, and we took opportunities in his -absence to renew our pleasures. But at length we -grew so bold in these practices, that my first -Lover discovered us, and watching his opportunity -by hiding himself in the Chamber, he -took us in the manner. He discovering himself, -used many outragious speeches to me and my -Companion, as, that he abused him, in perswading -and urging him to marry with one who -was his prostitute: the other flew out into high -expressions; and being valorous enough, they -<span class='pageno' id='Page_332'>332</span>drew their weapons, and before I could get any -to interpose and hinder their fight, my new Lover -was wounded, and that, so desperately, that -he fell; the other seeing that, and supposing him -killed, fled, and so left me: and my wounded -friend being visited by Chirurgeons, recovered a -little, but desired to be removed to his own -Lodgings, lest he might be prejudiced by the various -reports that would run upon this occasion; -I was likewise willing to have it so, as thinking -it most convenient.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus was I left alone, and I, who lately had two -Lovers and Servants, was now left without any; -for my old Friend came no more after me, and -my new Servant who was wounded, was forced -for his health-sake to be carried into the Country.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Now did I find my self truly distressed, for I -wholly retired my self, not seeing any man, and -was only accompanied by my Landlady, and another -antient woman who frequented her house. -In vain did I expect the return of either of my -Lovers, and almost all my Moneys was gone, in -Diet, and for payment of Lodging. My Landlady -proposed several ways and courses for me to take, -as to send to my first friend who brought me thither, -which I did, but could not hear of him; she -would have had me send to my Aunt, but I -wholly refused so to do, being resolved to bear -with any necessities, rather then again to apply -my self to her.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The other old woman, who, I told you, frequented -our house, did then put in some words -<span class='pageno' id='Page_333'>333</span>to the Discourse, and my Landlady leaving us -together, she told me, that if I would be ruled -by her, she would so order matters, that I should -want for nothing, and live the most pleasantest -life in the World. I who was now miserable -enough, was well enough pleased to hear of pleasure, -and bid her say on: She thereupon told me, -that it was great pity that so delicate a beauty -as mine should be closeted up, and that I -should spend that time in tears and lamentations, -which might not only be a pleasure to my self, -but many others who would love me with a great -deal of passion; and whereas hitherto I had only -been reserved to serve the pleasures of one man, -or two at the most, and for that I had only reap’d -sorrow and trouble, that I might command many, -who would, not only please and serve me, but I -should command their purses by having money -enough at my own dispose. Many words to this -purpose she uttered, and many Arguments she -used. Though at the first I did not understand what -she aimed at, yet by several Questions, which she -answered me, I found she would have me prostitute -my body for my pleasure, and to gain a -livelyhood; and in fine, should get my living with -the hands I sat on.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Though I had tasted man, as first with you, -and afterwards had two at a time, my two late -Lovers, and by that was induced to desire more -of the same pleasures, yet I was extreamly unwilling -to prostitute my body to every fellow -that should bring money in his hand; and this -<span class='pageno' id='Page_334'>334</span>I supposed I must do, if once I undertook that -course. Thus I reasoned with this old woman, -but she told me, No, I should not do so, for I -should only have my choice of what, and whom -I liked, and few of such would be profitable -enough to maintain me in a splendid Garb; and -to this she gave me so many reasons; that I consenting -to leave my Lodgings, went with her to -the place where she conducted me.</p> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_335'>335</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXV.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>She gives an account of her being entred into a -Bawdy-house, where she received great profit by -the sale of her Maidenhead.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I being now come to the place intended, was -entertained by a Grave ancient Matron, in -whose face might be seen the ruines of no common -beauty; and the defects of that being occasioned -by age, was sufficiently supplied in a deportment -and garb that was not common, though -it were very pleasant. She gave me many welcomes, -and told me that she had a very great respect -for me, having heard of my misfortunes, -and hoping that she might put an end to my sorrows, -and afford me fresh pleasures: she had to -that end employed that antient woman as her -Messenger, to perswade me to leave that house of -Mourning wherein I was, for hers, which was a -Pallace, nay, a Paradice of pleasure, wherein I -should be accompanied with all manner of contentment. -I told her I should be willingly obedient -to her commands, in expectation of those pleasures -she promised. Several other Discourses we -had, whereby she gave me instructions how to -behave my self; and, said she, since you intend -to make one of my family, I shall give you an -account of my manner and method in governing -the same.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My house; continued she, being frequented -by persons of all Qualities, it is therefore necessary -<span class='pageno' id='Page_336'>336</span>that I should be furnished with women, who -should be proper and fit for their respective accommodations, -for the Servants and Pages must -be sometimes served as well as their Masters; I -therefore distinguish those women that belong -unto me into three several sorts and distinctions; -and because I intend to make use of you only in -the first and principal, I shall therefore be more -particular in my Discourse to you of that.</p> - -<p class='c000'>You are therefore to know, that as my house -is well enough furnished with women to accommodate -my ordinary Guests, so I have several who -are kept abroad, who serve for the extraordinary -accommodation of my best sort of Guests, and -those are such as are so squeamish stomacked, that -will not see one face above two or three times; -with these a Maidenhead is a very great dainty, -for they lay out with me for one, sometimes a -quarter or half a year together. Now though I -know you have parted from yours already, yet I -question not but to make a good Merchandize of -yours, and get a good round sum of money for -you and my self; and if you will be ruled by me -in every thing, I shall so manage the business, -that you shall not have to do with above two or -three in a twelve moneths time, and they shall -be such, as shall not only maintain you in a brave -garb and equipage, but you shall gain many Jewels, -and a good round sum of money. To this -Discourse I replied, that I hoped she would perform -what she said, and in expectation thereof, -I should dispose my self to be wholly directed by -her.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_337'>337</span>This I remember was our first Discourse, or to this -purpose, and she presently ordered me a Lodging -within a few doors of her house, where I had such -another as my self for my Companion, and we were -very well accommodated with every thing; my habit -was somewhat altered, for I was now put into the -most exact mode that was then in best esteem. According -to her Directions I carried my self in every -thing; and once a day I waited on her, or else she -came to me. I had not been there many days before -she told me that there was an opportunity to begin -my business, and therefore she advised me to go the -next day to a Play; and set my self out in the best -manner that I could; but she advised me by all means -to decline drinking, or entertaining any Discourse -with any person, though I should be importuned -thereto, I promised obedience to her commands; -and my Companion, who was my Bed-fellow, attended -me to the Play-house, where by giving great -attention to the Comedy that was acted, I did not -mind those who made it their chief business to gaze -on me. The Play being done, I went out, but was -stayed by two Gentlemen (who by their Habits -seemed of quality) who offered me their service to -wait on me. I at first answered them with silence; -but they seeing I had no other Company but my -Bed-fellow, were very importunate to have me -accept of theirs. I told them that they were strangers, -and therefore durst not admit of their kind -offer: Having said thus, I called for a Coach, and -though they still importuned me to accept of their -Company, yet I absolutely refused it, and so -<span class='pageno' id='Page_338'>338</span>caused the Coachman to drive home. That evening -was I visited by our Matrona, who told me, I had -done well, for she had an account given her of my -deportment: for, said she, it is not unknown to -me that you were offered the service of two Gentlemen, -one of which is a person who is a retainer -to my house, an old beaten Souldier, and several -such we are forced to keep correspondency withal, -that we may have new fresh guests brought to -our house. The other Gentleman, said she, is one -who hath a long time laid out for a fresh bit, and -he was carried to the Playhouse on purpose to see -you; whom I gave my correspondent his companion -so just an account of, that he could not miss -knowing of you: they both followed your Coach -to your Lodgings, and have since been at mine, -and my young Coxcomb is very much smitten -with your beauty, and offers any thing that he -may enjoy your Company. I have promised him -my assistance, but he must come off well first; -and I question not but to manage him so, as in -few days you shall find the effects of his love -in some noble present, therefore, said she, fail -not to be directed by me, and I doubt not but -you will reap much pleasure and profit. I having -promised a just compliance to her desires, she departed, -leaving me in the company of her Bed-fellow, -who that night entertained me with a large -account of her Aduentures.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I remember she told me that when she first came -acquainted with our Matrona, she was pick’d up -almost in the same manner as I had been; and that -in less then two monthes her Maidenhead was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_339'>339</span>sold six times, for which she had gained in presents -to the value of fifty pounds; and I suppose, -said he, our Matrona gained above as much more -in mony: since then, said she, my first Customers -have but rarely visited me; and she having no -more Customers for my Maidenhead, I now pass -for a Merchants wife, and am often sent for in -that name; and I seldome miss a day without -one or two Customers, who entertain me as such -a person. She being thus free with me, I thought -good to ask her some more Questions, as, how she -paid for her Diet and Lodging? and from whence -she had Clothes? To this she answered, that for -the first half year her Diet was paid for by the -Matrona, who indeed had all the Money that was -gained by her; and as for Clothes, she had them -first of all lent, or given by her, and since given -her by those who had to deal with her: and now, -said she, I pay for my own Diet, and have all the -Money that is given me, and all the profit she -hath, is in selling her Wine and other things she -vendeth at our Collations; and now and then I -suppose she gets half a piece or a piece of a new -Customer by procuring me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was somewhat satisfied with this Discourse, -and the next day I was visited by the old woman -(who brought me first acquainted with our Matrona) -who brought me a Letter from my Amorous -Gallant; I remember it was stuffed with Complements, -and all the happiness he desired, was -to see me once more at the Playhouse. In this -affair I taking advice with our Matrona, it was -resolved I should return no answer; but however, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_340'>340</span>within two days, I again went to the Playhouse, -where I was no sooner seated, but I was attended -by my Gallant, and now I could not decline his -Company: during the Play he treated me with -all manner of fruits, and such things as could be -purchased there; and the Play being done, he -offered me a farther treat at some other place; but -I refused that, as also any further converse with -him, and again calling for a Coach, I went home, -refusing his Company, and being very shye and -coy to all his Proposals, which though many, yet -prevailed not all upon me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The next day I had another Letter sent me, as -also a Diamond-Ring of twenty pound price as a -present; I accepted of both, and then promised -within two days to meet him again at the Playhouse, -where my Gallant came richly accoutred -in all his bravery, I then entertained discourse -with him, and the Play being ended, I at his -earnest importunity accepted of a Treat he quickly -provided for me at the next Tavern. I then told -him, that I durst not stay, for I expected my Unkle -to come and visit me that evening at my Lodging, -who was to bring me news out of the Country -about my father: he being desirous to please me, -contented to my departure, I promising to give -him another meeting at a place we appointed the -next day, and thus we again parted. I was now so -far engaged with him; that I the next day again -met him, and he then courted me for enjoyment; -but I seeming very angry, he to pacifie me, gave -me a gold Watch, and then I permitted him to -embrace and kiss me; and though I contradicted -<span class='pageno' id='Page_341'>341</span>his proceeding further with me, yet he -found by me, that in time he might arrive to it. -In this apprehension he was very prodigal in his -promises, and what great things he would do, if I -would permit him so great a happiness, he oftentimes -wishing himself a single-man (for he was -married) that he might make himself happy in -so brave a Wife, as he knew I would be. These -Discourses and others which he used, and those -many strict embraces which he gave me, did -somewhat move me with the titillations of the -flesh; and I had much ado to continue inexorable: -but remembring how I had been deceived -formerly, and withal knowing that I had not our -Matrona’s order as yet for fruition, I therefore -contradicted my own thoughts and wanton desires, -and refused to let him proceed to any other -satisfaction then what he could get by kissing and -embracing me, and handling my brests and neck; -and so we again parted, I being still attended by -my Bedfellow.</p> - -<p class='c000'>We were no sooner come home, but she was -sent for by our Matrona, to whom she gave an -account of our actions: but that was not all her -business, for when she returned home, and we -were in bed together, she told me that she had -been at the sport with a brave Gallant, with whom -she had received great pleasure, for he was newly -come to Town, and willing enough to have continued -the sport longer, but that it was late, and -therefore they had referred a continuance of the -pleasures to the next day; and that she had not -only pleasure, but profit, for he had given her -three Crowns, and promised to be more beneficial -to her during his stay in <em>London</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_342'>342</span>This Discourse of hers, the remembrance of -what she had been at, and what I might have received -if I would, did very much fire me, and I -then took up a resolve not much longer to delay -those pleasures I had now so long been without; -and thereupon being visited the next day by my -Servant (and having the permission of my Matrona -so to do) I entertained him with somewhat -more freedom then formerly, and went with him -to the house of our Matrona, as if a great stranger -there; and now was I doubly courted, not only -by him, but her; so that I permitted him enjoyment, -and he so well pleased me, that at his further -earnest importunity I consented to lie with -him all night, where I satisfied him and my self -in all those amorous sweets that two willing -Lovers could receive or give.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Whilst I was thus occupied at our Matrona’s -house, my Bedfellow was not idle; for she understanding -my place would be void, was resolved to -have it supplied, and therefore summoned her -Country Gentleman, who very readily attended -her, and for that night was her Bed-fellow. He -was so pleased with her Company in the night, -that he desired it the next day at a frolick at a -Tavern. She accordingly attended him, where a -plentiful Dinner was provided, there being four or -five Gentlemen, and two Women besides her self. -Dinner being ended, and some quantity of Wine -drank off, they all began to be merry, and therefore -a noise of Fidlers were call’d, and they all fell -to singing and dancing, in which they spent some -time; and the other two women being likewise -Ladies of the right stamp, they did by turns leave -the rest of the Company, and retire by Couples -<span class='pageno' id='Page_343'>343</span>into a private Room, where they had the conveniency -of a Bed, and thus they spent most part of -the Day. Night drawing on, reckoning was call’d -for; but it being a large one, all the Gentlemen -were dissatisfied, not being willing to pay so dear -for their pleasure, and to have such sour sawce to -their sweet meat: the Fidlers being paid, they -resolv’d to put a trick upon the Vintner for his -reckoning. The Fidlers now playing their last -Lesson, the Gentlemen one after another made -their several <em>exits</em>, leaving the three women to pay -the score; who for some time waited the return -of the Gentlemen with money, but in vain. The -Master of the house understanding how he was -likely to be serv’d, came up to the Women, and -gave them such a lesson as made them sing <em>lachrimæ</em>: -they made many Apologies and excuses, -but in vain, mony or a sufficient pawn he would -have before they went. They considering the -necessity of the business, resolved to leave some -of their Rings and such-like Moveables for their -enlargement. Agreeing on the manner, they -were now considering the matter, what, & how -much should be left, when two or three men entred -the Room, and bluntly asked for the Women, -naming them by their several names. Not only -they, but the Master of the house was of opinion, -that they were come with Mony to redeem them; -but their Errand prov’d not so pleasant to the -Vintner: for these men declar’d themselves to be -Bayliffs, and their business was to arrest the three -Women at several actions, and to that end produced -their Warrant. The Women were much -troubled, and began to exclaim that they owed -no such sums; but the officers who were not to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_344'>344</span>be baffled, told them, they were their Prisoners, -and must along with them. The Vintner now -put in, and demanded satisfaction, and would -have the women leave some pawn for the Reckoning; -but the Officers told them, that they had -best keep what they had for occasion for it upon -which they might have account of the Arrest; -and for the Reckoning, the Vintner must take -his course at Law. The Vintner for some time -opposed the officers, and said he would be paid -first and although a Constable was sent for, yet -to no purpose, for the Warrant being produc’d, -they were permitted to march off with their Prisoners; -and a Coach being call’d for they all -crowded into it, ordering the Coachman to drive -towards the Gaol.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The Women used many arguments to the -Bayliffs, who now having done their business, -seemed only at the request of the Women, to attend -them to a Tavern, whither the Coachman -had orders to drive, and there they were conducted -into a Room, where in stead of Bayliffs, -and a Prison, they had the Company of their day -Companions, who now kindly welcom’d them, -and acquainted them of their frollick, and how -all this was only designed to cheat the Vintner -of his Reckoning, who had formerly put tricks -upon them. All parties being now well pleased, -they spent that night in the Tavern together, and -my companion coming home the next day, acquainted -me with this Story.</p> -<div class='pbb'> - <hr class='pb c001' /> -</div> -<div class='figcenter id001'> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_345'>345</span> -<img src='images/i_b_074.jpg' alt='' class='ig001' /> -</div> -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXVI.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>In prosecution of her Extravagancies, she comes -acquainted with a young Gentleman, with whom -she acts several frolicks, occasioned by seeing -Playes acted.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>This, continued Mrs. <em>Mary</em> was my beginning, -or entrance into my publick profession, -and indeed, I cannot well call it publick, for -I was private and reserved: not admitting any -more servants but this one, in one moneth; and -indeed, in the first half year, I had but three, but -they were so bountiful, that I had wherewithal to -satisfie my self in every thing: having in Jewels, -and other presents to the value of 100<em>l.</em> Neither -had I any thing to pay for diet, or lodging, the -charge of that being always born by our <em>Matrona</em>, -who I found had gained above 60<em>l.</em> in mony, -for procuration, and assistance in winning me; -besides, a great deal more mony spent at her -house in Collations, & entertainments for me, -which were very frequent and costly. The trade -for Maiden-heads falling, the price being so great, -I was now forced to fight under another Banner, -and though I did not pass for a maid; yet I was -accounted in the next degree, for I passed as the -Mistress, or Lady of Pleasure, of a Person of Quality, -who kept me as a great rarity for his own -dyet; and indeed I did not much deceive my -<span class='pageno' id='Page_346'>346</span>first customers upon that account; for whereas I -went under the notion of belonging to one Person, -I did belong to but three: and I was forced -to play my game pretty cunningly to please them, -and not give them suspition of one another, for -they being all introduced into my acquaintance -by our <em>Matrona</em>, or some of her Agents, she did -help to manage my affairs; and when she knew -I was to accompany, or lye with one of my sweet -hearts, she would tell the other, if he or they desired -the same, that it could not be for the present, -for either, I was waiting on my Uncle, or some -other relation, or otherwise employed, that I must -be excused at the present: but against such a -time, she would endeavour to procure me to accompany -them; and this was her tale, or mine; -when more then one importuned me with their -visits, and by this means did we both gain the -mony, and I, Rings, Necklaces, Watches and new -Gowns, and sometimes some Gold to spend, or -play away; but in time these three growing somewhat -weary, or tyred both in their bodies and -purses; but especially in the last, they by degrees -left me, seldom visiting me; and when they -did, they would desire their pleasure on free cost, -although I could not be so ungrateful as to deny -them, that which cost me nothing, and which I -had equal pleasure in, yet I saw, it was time to -look out for other better customers; and therefore -as I told you, I passed as the Mistress of a -Person of Quallity, and was sent for to our <em>Madonas</em> -house, whether I would pretend, I had stolen -out, but durst not stay, least my amorous Master -<span class='pageno' id='Page_347'>347</span>should return and want me: Several Persons I -enjoyed at this rate, and much ready mony was -coming to me; for they with whom I had to do, -understanding I was a professed Lady of Pleasure, -knew well enough that I would not be contented -to pleasure them without a reward; and therefore -they gave me money. But now the case was -somwhat altred, and I must now pay for my dyet, -for our <em>Madona</em>, had, as I told you, a certain -custom, or rule: which she walked by, which was -this: that at the first she paid for dyet and lodging -as long as the Maidenhead customers lasted; for -all that time she took the mony, and the Woman -the presents, very little mony coming to their -hands; and indeed it was not by our rules thought -honourable or convenient, that a price in money -should be given on that account, to the party -herself; but when they came under the notion of -a Lady of Pleasure, and Virginity was gone, then -it was accounted reasonable, and indeed necessary, -that the Party her self should receive mony for -her better support, and then she must be at the -cost of her own dyet; and this was my cause: And -my Companion and Bedfellow, who had bin in -this condition for some time, and had passed, as -I now did, for a private Lady a Merchants wife, -and several other Titles and qualities, was now -grown so common, and her face was so well -known to all our <i>Madona’s</i> better sort of customers, -that she would serve no longer in that degree; -but must go a step lower; and go home to -our <i>Madona’s</i> own house, and there serve in common, -for all Gentleman customers that came. -<span class='pageno' id='Page_348'>348</span>Thus as I was removed one step lower then I was, -so was she, and it was not long ere I had a pretty -young thing brought to be my companion: and -though her Virginity had bin parted with above -a twelve moneth before, (as she confessed to me) -yet she was to succeed me, in my place, and act -the part of a Virgin as I had done.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I now began to bethink my self of what I had -bin, and what more I was to be, and run through: -I found that I was already at the second degree, -and that in short time, I must follow my late companion -to the third, and be enforced to go home -to our <i>Madona’s</i> house, and there prostitute my -self to every drunken fellow that brought mony -in his hand; to be flabbered, tumbled and tossed, -as he pleased: this I say went against my stomack, -& I was much troubled at it; nay, I saw that some -who had bin in as high a place and degree as my -self, were in bad condition enough; for there was -one, who was my late companions bedfellow before -I came, and was at that time called into the -house to make room for me, this woman being very -frolick, and withal negligent of our <i>Madona’s</i> commands: -which were to Sweat, Bath, and Purge, and -use other remedies, to drive away all distempers; -she I say being negligent, & wanton, and keeping an -open stable for all Horses, gave entertainment to a -running Nag, which so paid her that she was soundly -pepper’d, not with a Horse Pox, but as bad, or a worse -disease: which stuck to her so soundly, that notwithstanding -our <i>Madona’s</i> diligence, she was fain to go -under the Surgeons hands. Nay, and those that did -Escape this, were in time put to bad offices, as to attend -<span class='pageno' id='Page_349'>349</span>the rest, and when their money was gone, -they served the Grooms, and Skip-kennels that -attended their Masters to our house.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These considerations, I say, made me think of a -remedy to take in time; and therefore I was resolved -to order my matters so, as never to come into our -<i>Madona’s</i> house but provide for my self before it -should come to that point; and therefore I purposed -to accept of the offers of the next good customer that -came, that would take me from the condition I was -in, and to provide for me; for it was a usual thing, -that we had many offers by several persons to -take us away; and keep and maintain us privately.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I had now every day more variety of servants, then -formerly; for now I had done trafficking for my -Maidenhead, I was more free and open, and to be -courted and treated at a cheaper rate; and now I -was at my own dispose, whereas before I was still -watched by our <em>Madona</em>, or my Companion, who -had it in charge from her, to give an account of -all my actions; and the same charge had I given -me over my new-come Bedfellow. All that was -expected from me, was always to be ready at my -Lodging, to come when sent for; but I had this -in general, and so had all the rest of our Companions, -not to permit any man to exceed kissing -and feeling, till 3 or 4 Bottles of Wine were first -drank.</p> - -<p class='c000'>These, and many other Maxims we were instructed -in, which I shal omit, and only give you -an account of two or three frolicks I was a party -<span class='pageno' id='Page_350'>350</span>in, whilst I professed this quality, and so conclude.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Among other Servants, or Sweethearts, that I -had, who were my constant customers, I had one, a -young Country Gentleman; who being heir of a good -estate, was brought up to <em>London</em>, and placed in one -of the Inns of Court; but instead of studying Law, -he applyed himself to a more soft and effeminate study: -the Art of love and courtship: he had read -<i>Ovid’s Arte amandi</i>, at home in the Country, and -could repeat many lines out of it; and he had read -some other pieces of <em>Poetry</em>; but his fancy was not -drawn to the height, till he had not only read some -Comedies, but also seen them acted; and then he was -so taken with them, that he spent his time commonly, -every afternoon, in seeing one acted: he being -a guest at our house (being introduced thither by -one of our Hectors) and his pockets being very well -lined with crowns, our <em>Matrona</em> thought me a fit -Mistris for him; and he being a handsome young -fellow, I willingly accepted him for my servant: he -being as (I told you) well skilled in <em>Ovids Art of -Love</em>, would often make use of several of his expressions, -to perswade me to his embraces.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Though he needed not use these arguments to -induce me to permit him to enjoy me: yet I was -well enough pleased to hear his Poetry; and I -being no Novice in the school of love, did withstand -him, knowing that the mind is most eagerly -bent on that which is forbidden; and therefore, -like a torrent, it overflows, and becomes more impetuous -by opposition; and I had read so much -Poetry as to remember, that,</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_351'>351</span><em>She that is willing to love me;</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>To her unwilling will I be</em></div> - <div class='line in16'>And,</div> - <div class='line'><em>Proffer’d pleasures I defy,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Give me her that doth deny</em>.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>He making use of his Poetry, made me think of -mine; and therefore I was the more coy to him; but -still held him in hand, and gave him certain hopes -of an absolute injoyment; This his vayne of Poetry -was not only pleasant to me, but profitable; and he -fell into one of the finest humors that I have heard -of; for I attending him to the Play-houses very frequently, -we one day saw a Play called <cite>Philaster</cite>, or -<cite>Love lyes a bleeding</cite>: The Play being done, we -went to a Tavern, and there he highly commended -the action, but above all things the womens -parts: he was very much pleased with <i>Arethusa’s</i> -constancy and love to <em>Philaster</em>: but that which -tickled him most, was <i>Megera’s</i> acceptance of -<i>Pharamon’s</i> Courtship; for though she were a great -Court-Lady, yet she accepted his gold which he -presented her, and was so kind as to attend his -pleasure in his lodging. Now said he to me, -though I have tendred you my service, and am -willing to make you a present of all I have, yet -I cannot induce you be so kind to me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I now, hearing him at this point, was resolved -to accept him & his present, (for, though he had -been some days in my company, yet he had bestow’d -nothing considerable upon me) & therefore -I told him, that it was true, the Lady <em>Megera</em> -did accommodate Prince <em>Pharamond</em>: but -<span class='pageno' id='Page_352'>352</span>he did first present her with somwhat that was -considerable, to induce her to it; and though I -had a very great respect for his love, yet there was -somewhat more then love to be tendred, as he -might now very well understand by this late passage.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My yonker (who I suppose had never tasted woman, -but with his Mothers Chamber-Maids, or -some such Creatures, knew not what belonged to -Women of my profession) being now awakened, as -it were, out of a dead sleep; quickly drew 5 pieces -of Gold out of his Pocket, and made a present of -them: You may be sure I was not coy, nor cautious -in receiving them; but quickly put them up; and, -for the present, thanks was all I returned, delaying -him in his desires, till we came to our <em>Madona’s</em> -quarters; where we had a plentiful Supper: And -I having now acquainted her how I had dealt -with my Young man; it was thought reasonable -that he should have a nights lodging for his Money; -neither did I refuse it, but agreed to all he asked -me, and I so well pleased him, that I perswaded -him out of a Diamond Ring worth 5<em>l.</em> more.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I am the more particular in my relation, of my -acquaintance with him: and the means of our -closing, by seing a Play, because of the advantages -I gained on him afterwards by the same -occasion: for the next day we again going to see -a Play, it happened that it was the <em>Siege</em> of <em>Rhodes</em>, -and then he was as much taken with <em>Roxolana</em>, as -he had formerly been with <em>Arethusa</em>, and highly -commended that part: I perceiving his fancy, -told him, that I supposed he would be very glad to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_353'>353</span>imbrace <em>Roxolana</em> in his Arms; Yes said he, that -I would, though it were at the expence of 20<em>l.</em> well -said I, give me the money, and I will so order the -matter, that you shall receive that satisfaction; nay -said he, but I doubt you will be offended thereat; -no said I, it will be as much to my content, as -yours. He hearing this, without any difficulty, -agreed to give me 20<em>l.</em> which was sent me that -evening, I told him the next day, that in one -weeks time, he should receive the content he expected, -and to heighten his expectation, I refused -to let him lye with me in the mean time.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In this weeks time I so ordered the matter, that I -got a Taylor, and other persons who were used to -make the habits for the Players, to make me a habit -in all things like to that of <em>Roxolana</em>; this being -done, I acquainted my young Gentleman, and told -him that for his better satisfaction, he should see the -so famed <em>Princess</em> at our quarters, where he might -have more freedom, then at any other place; he was -herewith very well contented; he habiting himself -in the richest garbs he had, and a large Colation was -provided to treat his expected Mistress; all things -being thus fitted on his part; I put on the provided -habit: and instead of his expected <em>Roxolana</em>, entred -the room where he was: I was attended by two or -three, who bore up my train, and had set my self -out with so many Jewels, both good & counterfeit: -and was indeed in all things so like the <em>Roxolana</em> he -had seen, that he doubted not but I was the very same -and was much surprized at the matter; and although -my face was as lovely as hers, yet I had added -somewhat thereto to appear more beautiful.</p> - -<p class='c000'><span class='pageno' id='Page_354'>354</span>Our <em>Matrona</em> seeing him somewhat amazed, -went to him, and rouzing him up, asked him, why -he did not salute me; for said she, though her habit -is not <em>English</em>, yet you see she is of this Country, -and will admit of the ordinary salutes. He being -now quickned up, approached me, and gave me the -ordinary salutations, which I accepted, and at his -request I sate down by him. Well, said our <em>Matrona</em>, -hath not Mrs. <em>Mary</em> performed her promise -with you. Yes, said he, to admiration: and if before -I desired this Ladies Company at the first view; I -am now much more pleased than I expected; and -as I have a very great esteem for this Lady, and -intend to continue it, yet that shall be no prejudice -to Mrs. <em>Mary</em>, whose great love and kindness to me -in this particular action, I shall always remember, -and largely requite: Well Sir, said I, and what love -you bestow on her shall be very acceptable to me, -and I shall indeavour to retalliat the same.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My young man had not till now heard me speak, -and, though he did, he could not distinguish me -by my voice, so great a difference was there in -my habit, from my ordinary dress, that he did not -so much as suspect it, but, hearing me speak -with so much affection for Mistris <em>Mary</em>; he replyed; -that since I was so much a friend to her, -he was the better satisfyed in what he had desired; -and, he wanted nothing to content him, -so much, as her presence. Well, said our <em>Matrona</em>, -if that be all, you may have that satisfaction -quickly: nay, and you have it already; for she is in -this Room: He hearing her, looked earnestly about; -and though he gazed much in my face, yet he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_355'>355</span>could not discover me; but my greatest business being -now done, our <em>Matrona</em> could no longer forbear, -but fell into a very great fit of laughter, and so did -the rest of the company; neither did this make him -sensible of the matter, till our <em>Madona</em>, taking him -by the hand, caused him to take me by mine; and -told him, that if he desired Mistris <em>Maryes</em> company -there, he had it; for she was the same party -with that Lady, and had only put on that habit -to give him the content and satisfaction he desired.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Although at first he could not credit what she -said, yet looking again earnestly upon me, he discovered -the matter; and then he said, <em>Ah Madam, -I did not imagine that you could be guilty of so -pleasing a fallacy; but I am very well satisfied -therein, and am now more glad that you have -found out this way to please me, than if I enjoyed -the very party her self</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To this I answered, <em>That I hoped I should as well -satisfie his desire in enjoying that</em> Princess <em>whom I -represented, as if he had in his Company the same -person who acted that part at the Theatre; for, said -I, it is only her habit that makes her appear so like a</em> -Princess; <em>and I, being now in the same dress, may -as well pass as she; and as for face, and other parts, -I shall not give her any preheminence, neither, I hope, -will you, if you look on me with an impartial eye</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>My friend was very well satisfyed in what I had -done and said, and now coming more near to me, -we fell to our Collation with much freedom. I -was attended by several whom I had appointed to -that purpose, and demeaned my self so Majestically, -that as they all told me, I might very well -<span class='pageno' id='Page_356'>356</span>pass for the very person whom I did represent; -and my Gentleman was so extremely well pleased, -that I thought he would have lost his eyes in -gazing at me. Our Collation being ended, I and -my attendants danced, and spent much time in -such kind of divertisements; but I saw that my -friend was impatient till bed time came, that he -might have me, his beloved <em>Princess</em>, in his arms: -we were waited on with all manner of state, and -had Musick attending us, not only all the time -we were up, but also when we were in bed: they -being placed in the Chamber adjoyning to our -lodgings, where they played for two hours space -after we were retired.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The strength of imagination was much, for as -my bedfellow imagined that he had a <em>Princess</em> in -his arms so I conceited my self to be little less: -great was the pleasure, I received from, and gave -to my bedfellow, for we were both in the flower -of our age, he being about twenty, and I eighteen, -we had both equal desires, and thought of nothing -but pleasure: we banished all other passions, -to make way for that of love according to the -Poet.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><em>Fair</em> Venus <em>never goes to Bed,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>To those that are with sorrows fed.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<hr class='c003' /> - -<div> - <span class='pageno' id='Page_357'>357</span> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXVII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>Her Friend being forced from her by his friends -she meeting with one of her old acquaintance, falls -again to trading, till in the end, she meets with -the</em> Drugster, <em>who kept her for his private use.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>Although I was well enough pleased with my -nights lodging, and so was my bedfellow; -yet, as the longest day, so will the longest night -have an end; and no pleasure is lasting, neither -would ours continue, for the morning being come -we were again called up by Musick, but being -glutted with that, we ordered them to retire, -and I first arose out of our bed and going to dress -me in my ordinary habit, my bedfellow did forbid -it, and intreated me to give him the satisfaction, -and delight, to see me again in my Turkish -dress. He having pleased me so well, I was contented -to pleasure him, in a request that was so -indifferent; and therefore dressed my self accordingly.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He was so well pleased with me in every thing, -that taking me in his arms, I remember he sighed, -and I demanding the reason of that passion, he -told me, it was out of the extremity of the love -he bore me: and which he desired above all -things to continue; Indeed I liked him so well, -that I could have been well enough contented to -have been his wife, and have left all the world -for him, for he was of so easie a plyant nature, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_358'>358</span>that I could have wrought him to any thing: -and therefore being desirous to make use of that -opportunity, I desired him not to be melancholy, -for all that I could serve him in, I should readily -do: he finding me so free with him, told me if -that I would wait the death of his Mother, he -would make me his wife, and in the mean time, -would entertain me, & provide for me wholly as -if I were so: but he durst not marry me till his -Mother was dead, she having a great power over -his estate, his Father who was lately dead, so ordering -it; and beside, he was not as yet of Age -to demand it. I being desirous to close with him, -(not only out of a desire I had to leave that course -of life I then led; but also out of Pure love I bore -him,) soon agreed to be wholly disposed by him, -& desired him therefore to be constant in his affection; -and take some time to consider how to -dispose of me, and I should readily consent to it, -for he knew as well as I, that it would not at all -be convenient for me to remain where I was. -This was our discourse, and then we went from -our Chamber into another Room, where we were -expected by our <em>Matrona</em>, and some others of my -companions: the next day we also spent in frolicking -and mirth; but the whole charge of it, -was not born by my friend, for several of our -<i>Matrona’s</i> Friends and Clients did participate -in the cost: as well as the mirth, which was very -high, and lasted all the day and night; and then -tyred, though not satisfied with such delights as -<em>Bacchus</em> and <em>Venus</em> could afford: we (having imitated -the Empress <em>Messalina</em> in our debauchery; -of whom the Poet saith.</p> -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'><span class='pageno' id='Page_359'>359</span><em>The Imperial Strumpet, with one maid stole out,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>In her night hoods, and having cast about:</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Her black hair, a red Perriwig she got,</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Into the stewes----</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>There many thirsted for encounters tryed</em></div> - <div class='line'><em>Departed tyr’d with men, not satisfied.</em></div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>This frolick being at an end, I and my friend -began to be serious, and in short time after he provided -me a private lodging, and I making up my -pack of cloths, Jewels and Mony which I had -gained, and which was considerable, left our <em>Madona</em> -and now retired my self, and resolved to be -very honest, and absolutely constant to my friend: -who continued his love to me in a very great -measure.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But at length all the moneys that he brought -to Town with him, and all else that he could get -or procure, was spent; (for he had not spared any -thing I desired to content me,) and which was -worse, his Mother came to Town to visit him, and -upon examination he could give little account, -how he had spent his time and monyes; wherefore -it being concluded that ill company was the -cause, his Mother laid out very diligently to discover -what company he kept: though he abstained -from coming so often to me, as formerly, Yet, he -either sent, or came to me every day: that he -might not be absolutly out of favor with his Mother, -I furnished him with what ready mony I -had, and he in requital, promised me a continuance -of his love, & a retalliation of my kindness, -& which was more then all, he engaged to marry -me (notwithstanding all the oppositions his mother -or friends could make,) if I would stay till -<span class='pageno' id='Page_360'>360</span>he was of age, and had his estate in his hands; -I had this promise from him, not only by word -of mouth, but also by writing; but all these promises -were quickly vacuated and void; for his mother, -by her extraordinary diligence found out -his haunts, and discovered his coming to me; -and followed the tract of my actions, and life; -that she found from whence I came, and who I -was; and then soon concluded, that I had been -the chief occasion of his mispending his time, and -moneys; and now she mustred up all her wits, to -prevent his ruine: which she supposed would be -inevitable, if he continued any longer a correspondency -with me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>To this end she called her Son before her, and -examined him in the presence of all those of his -Relations and friends which were then in Town. -She laid the business so plain, and home to him, -that he could not deny the matter, somewhat of -the manner he did; for whereas she reported me -an absolute <em>Prostitute</em>, he alleged me <em>virtuous</em> and -<em>modest</em>, as indeed well he might (for I had, ere -since my first acquaintance with him, been constant -to him) but it being proved from whence I -came, and how immodest I had lived, it was sufficient -argument to make out what I was, and -that I could not be a fit Wife for him: She was -a very discreet Woman, and one who had known -the World, and I suppose was well enough acquainted -with that saying of the <em>Poet</em>.</p> - -<div class='lg-container-b c002'> - <div class='linegroup'> - <div class='group'> - <div class='line'>If Modesty and Women once do sever,</div> - <div class='line'>Farewel their name, farewel their fame for ever.</div> - </div> - </div> -</div> - -<p class='c000'>And therefore it being evident enough what I -had been, she from thence concluded what I would -be: In fine, she so scooled her son, and ordered the -<span class='pageno' id='Page_361'>361</span>matter, that he was contented to relinquish my -company; and because, she would be sure he -should doe so, she never left, till she had got him in -the mind to travel: and so putting him in an equipage -befitting his quality, she sent him for <em>France</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus, when I thought my self near the greatest -happiness I ever yet arrived to: (which I earnestly -hoped, and expected, by being married to this -young Gentleman) was I stripped of all joy, and -comfort, in his suddain and absolute departure -from me; his Mother, and Friends, were so strict -with him, that they would not permit him, to take -his farewel of me; I only received a short letter -from him, wherein, he complained of his ill fortune, -in being thus forced from me: but more especially -at the manner of it; for he had not the -opportunity, nor power to be civil to me, in reimbursing -me, with the moneys I had lately furnished -him with; for his Mother gave him no -more ready moneys, then he should have present -occasion for; promising him, to supply him with -more by Bills of Exchange, when he should arrive -at the place he was designed for; and then -he promised that I should hear further from him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This was the substance of his letter; and indeed -I could not well complain of him; for what moneys -he had lately received of me had formerly -been his own; but I was now reduced to a very -bad, and low condition: having no ready money, -so that I was forced to sell some of my Jewels; -and for a while supplyed my occasions, with the -moneys they yielded me; I living a very solitary, -and retired life; and all my pleasure was in reading -Playes, and Romances: in which I spent much -time, and took great delight; I waited long in -<span class='pageno' id='Page_362'>362</span>expectation of letters from my friend, according to -his promise; but whether he sent, and they were -intercepted, or how: or whether he forgot me, or -no, I know not; for I never after that heard of him.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Being somewhat weary with this solitary life; -and finding no effects, of my friends promise to -send to me; I began to consider, what course I -was to take; I was very unwilling to visit my old -<em>Matrona</em> again; but one day, walking out, I was -met by one of my old sweethearts: one of those -whom I had known in her house; but I saw by -his habit, and afterwards by the strength of his -Pocket, that he was but in a low condition, and -was more ready to receive, than give; he fastned -on me for old acquaintance sake, I was forced to -drink with him; but he ingeniously told me, that -<em>Hector</em> was not in Field, he had no money in his -Pocket; wherefore I (though money was not very -flush with me, as having had a long time of vacation:) -not only paid our reckoning: but at his -intreaty, doubly hors’d him, by lending him, (or -I may rather say giving him) two half crowns.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This put him in stock and heart, and he gratefully -acknowledged my civility, telling me he -would requite it, and talking of thousands he was -to receive. He was very earnest to know my -Lodging, but I concealed that place from him, -and, as I thought, parted from him warily enough, -and went many ways about before I went home; -but he dog’d me, and seeing me hous’d, waited, -lest that might not be the place; but after a sufficient -stay he was better satisfied; for I came no -more out, and so he went to his Quarters.</p> - -<p class='c000'>This my old acquaintance, as he had formerly -been bit, and had others lived upon him, so now -<span class='pageno' id='Page_363'>363</span>he only lived upon others; and though it was -not above a twelve month since he was very gallant, -and spent very highly with me, yet he had -made hast and consumed above 3000<em>l.</em> he was -young enough, and as wanton and desirous as -ever of my Company; but he knew very well I -would not consent, unless there were money in -the case; he being destitute of that necessary -commodity, therefore sought out for one who was -better supply’d with it; he needed not to look -long, neither did he, till he found one, who was -now, as not long since he had been, better stor’d -with mony than wit, and as desirous of pleasure, -being willing to purchase it at any rate; him he -tells of a rare purchase, a Lady whom he had the -happiness, to be acquainted with, that was rarely -handsome, of an excellent good nature, and he -questioned not but she might be flexible. The -monyed Gallant did not ask many questions, but -desired by all means to see this celebrated beauty; -for he doubted not but she must needs be -handsom, whom the other so cried up for beautiful. -My old acquaintance was as willing as he -to attend him to this Lady, which was my self; -and therefore to me they came, and believing -that Confidence was the best way of speaking -with me; he boldly asked to see and speak with -me; pretending great business, not so much as -questioning whither I lived there or no. The -people of the house believing him one of my intimate -acquaintance, directly brought him and -his friend up into my Chamber.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was somewhat surpriz’d at the sight of him; -but after the first salutes he took me to one side, -and privately told me all his design; and that -<span class='pageno' id='Page_364'>364</span>this party whom he had brought, was a very well-money’d -man, & much might be squeez’d out of -him. Although I was not yet resolved to fall to -my old trade, yet now he was come, I knew not -how to put him off, wherefore I indifferently entertained, -and I may very well say indifferently: -because, I was yet cold in my desires, and had -very little appetite, however some bottles of Wine -being sent for, we drank them off: and my young -Gentleman being warm in his gears, began to -talk a little boldly, but it was to no purpose, for -I forbid all actions, and at that time he only purchased -a kiss, but (that I may draw to a period -to my discourse,) I did not long continue so cold -to him, for he bringing meat in his mouth, good -store of Gold in his pocket, which he willingly -and freely gave me, I permitted him to take all -the pleasure he could receive by me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did I renue my old trade, and my old -friend, who had brought this new acquaintance, -finding some benefit and profit in the case; for -he had money of his acquaintance, whom he had -brought, as also of me, neither could I at convenient -times, deny him the pleasure he had formerly -tasted with me; he, I say, having both -pleasure and profit, turned Broaker for me, and -brought me several Merchants, who traffiqued -with me for pleasure: which I commonly afforded -them a good pennyworth, though sometimes a -dear one, for I would not deal with every ordinary -fellow, and therefore was paid the better, -by those who were my customers.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But let me do what I could, I saved little -or nothing at the months end, (years I will -not say, because I was weary of this trade -in six months time:) for I now had not -<span class='pageno' id='Page_365'>365</span>only my self, but this my old acquaintance, -tance and new Broker to provide for; For he finding -that most of my profit, came in by those he -brought me, would be very bold in demanding a -share with me: and his expences were so high, -which he pretended, was only to bring me of the -better sort of customers, that I was now poorer -then ever, and he now became so impudent, that -he would not only command my money, but my -Rings, and other Jewels, which he would sell or -pawn as he listed; and indeed it is the fortune, or -misfortune, of all those of our Quality, to be troubled -with some such fellows, hangers on as these, -or else we should or might in little time gain sufficient -estates; but as I say commonly, what we got -one way, these followers spend the other, so that -at length all that we are likely to purchase, if we -have not a great care, is only a disease, which may -stick long enough by us. I being fearful of this, for -my Friend or Hector, I may call him both, was -now grown so intemperate, that he kept all companies: -and if I refused him money, or a nights -lodging, he would go to any other common woman, -the first he met withal, and so afterwards comming -to me, I might be spoiled; to prevent this, -I privately left my lodging, and hearing of two -of my own sex, and quality, that were going a -progress into the Country, to take a frollick, I -made the third, and had a man as well as they -to attend me; and as I expected, to bear my -charges; but we all reckoned without our host, for -we were basely trappand, by those who went with -us, and left in pawn for a reckoning that was considerable; -we were in a strange place, many miles -from <em>London</em>, and much distressed, but at length a -resolution was taken, that one of us should go to -<span class='pageno' id='Page_366'>366</span><em>London</em>, and fetch money to redeem the rest, it fell -to the lot of one of my companions, who being on -her Journey, had the good luck to meet with honest -<em>Gregory</em>, our now companion, and he very liberally -relieved us, by sending mony to us, whereby -we had the freedom to come to our companion, -and him, who attended us. She being come to -this part of her Relation, I told her, that I heard -it already by <em>Gregory</em>, who among other passages -of his life, acquainted me with that.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Well then replyed she, if you know that account, -I have little more to acquaint you with, for not -long after my arrival in <em>London</em>, I fortunately met -with my honest friend the <em>Drugster</em>, and he liking -me for a Mistress, and I him for a servant or Master -which you please, agreed to obey his pleasures, -he providing for me, which he hath hitherto done -in a very plentiful manner: and I on the other -side, have bin as constant and obedient to him.</p> - -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>CHAP. XXXVIII.</h2> -</div> - -<p class='c010'><em>Mistress</em> Mary <em>having finished, Mistress</em> Dorothy -<em>begins her story, wherein she relates, that having -left her friends in the Country, she comes to</em> London, -<em>and entring to service, lyes with 3 several -men, by whom she was got with Child, and so orders -the matter, that all 3 pay well for it.</em></p> - -<p class='c005'>I had given very great attention to Mrs. <em>Maries</em> -story, and Mrs. <em>Dorothy</em> (who, with me, had been -the only Auditor) told her, that she had received a -great deal of satisfaction; for, said she, though I have -formerly heard many of your particular actions, -yet I never received a perfect account till now. -Nay, said Mrs. <em>Mary</em>, this account is far from being -<span class='pageno' id='Page_367'>367</span>perfect, and is only such passages as I could at -present call to mind; but indeed they are the most -remarkable, and by them you may guess at the rest.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was very well pleased with what I had heard, -and being likewise desirous to be acquainted with -the adventures of Mrs. <em>Dorothy</em> requested her to -relate them to me, which she did as followeth.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Old friend (said she to me) you have great occasion -to love and respect me, for the great love -I have born to you, and your memory; for after -your departure from my Fathers house, I was -very much afflicted for your absence, and I did -believe that you intended marriage to me, as -you protested; and though my Father and Mother -had often doubted of the reallity of your -intentions, especially, after you had so unworthily -left me, yet I still perswaded them that you -would return. You know well enough, that my -Father was not ignorant of our privacy, he having -surprized us in the manner, and you then promised -to make me amends by marriage; but all -the satisfaction I received was a Copy of Verses, -and 20 pieces of Gold: In the one you expressed -your Wit, in the other your Generosity, for I very -well knew that you might have omitted both, -and not have sent either; but I suppose, you were -more skilful than I, and knew that I was with -Child by you, and therefore sent that mony to -defray the charge I should be at on that occasion. -This piece of civility of yours did put me -into good hopes, that you would return; and I -accordingly perswaded my Father, and Mother; -but time convinced me of my error: and also -made it more apparent that I had been sporting -with you; for my Belly swelled so, that my Mother -<span class='pageno' id='Page_368'>368</span>soon resolved me that I was with Child by -you.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I was very melancholly upon this occasion, but -my Mother indeavoured to comfort me (for I -being her only Child) she had a great deal of -love for me; and knowing what was pass’d could -not be helped, she took order to conceal and -keep the knowledge of my misfortune from being -publiquely known and discoursed of; Wherefore -I, at her desire and directions, kept within doors, -pretending a sickness, which indeed was not -wholly counterfeit, in regard I much grieved for -your absence. In this condition I spent my -time, till the time of my deliverance from Childbearing -came, and then I was brought to bed of -a Boy, which was no sooner born, but it was taken -and carried from me, to a Town three miles -off, to be nursed by a woman, whom my Mother -had for that purpose provided; and this was -done to conceal the shame that I should or might -sustain, if it were known that I had a Child, without -knowing who, or at least, where was the -Father.</p> - -<p class='c000'>So soon as a Month was expired, I went to -see the Child, the sight of which put me too -much in mind of the Father; and I was then -again sensibly afflicted, at his absence; methoughts -in that infancy there was so much resemblance -of my beloved deceiver, that I kiss’d -the Infant not only for its own, but for the Fathers -sake. I then returned home agen, and now -after so long a time of retirement, I began to recover, -not only my strength, but some additions -to my beauty; so that I having had 2 or 3 Suitors, -when a Maid, who had forborn visiting me -<span class='pageno' id='Page_369'>369</span>by occasion of my ilness, they now agen renew -their suits; but if I had some dislike for them before, -now I could not endure them in my company, -they were such absolute Hobbinolls. -Though I was not satisfied in their frequent visits, -yet my Father and Mother press’d me, not -only to accept them, but also their suit, and make -choice of one of them for a husband, alleging, -that you would never return; and it would be -not only safe but necessary, in time to bestow my -self. This discourse did much disturb me, and I -was so often troubled with my suiters, and disturbed -and vexed by my Father and Mothers -importunity, that I resolved to quit both, by -leaving them, and therefore purposed to go to -<em>London</em>, that I might not be troubled with the -importunity of my Father and Mother; nor the -troublesome visits of my sweethearts.</p> - -<p class='c000'>In persuance of this resolve, I fitted my self -with all necessaries; and that I might not wholly -distract my Parents by my thus leaving them, I -writ a Letter of excuse, & left it for them; & so -walking to the next great Town, attending the -coming by of the Passage Coach, and in that got -me a place to ride to <em>London</em>.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I continued for some time in the Inne where -the Coachman set me down, and the rest of his -Passengers; but knowing it would be impossible -for me to continue long there, I gained acquaintance -with the Maid of the house, and told -my tale to her as well as I thought convenient. -She understanding that I was willing to serve, -and wanted a place; and I acquainting her with -my abilities, as that I could sew, wash, and starch, -and do most necessary things required of a servant, -<span class='pageno' id='Page_370'>370</span>She soon procured me a Place in a house -that entertained many Lodgers. I spent a quarter -of a years time very privately and honestly -in this service; but then our house being full of -Lodgers, one of them cast a wanton eye on me, -and being well pleased with my face, began to -court me very familiarly; although at first I opposed -him, and gave him nothing but slights and -denials, yet he so managed his business by Presents -which he gave me, and making use of all -other opportunities that he gained his will of -me, and I again entred the Lists in a loving -Combate. He took many opportunities for enjoyment, -not only in the day time, but sometimes -we spent whole nights in our amorous -sports; and though my Mr. and Mrs. did not -discover any thing of the matter, yet another -Gentleman, who was also a Lodger, and lay in -the next Chamber to my friends, watching me, -found out my haunt; and therefore he (being -as amorous as the other) was desirous of sport, -became a Suiter to me upon the same account. -I absolutely denied him, for I thought it was -enough to have to do with one man, and was -resolved to venture my self no further; but he -taking the opportunity of the others absence, -first treated me with Wine, then presented me -with a Ring; but all this would not do, till he -in plain terms told me, that he knew very well -I was not so hard-hearted to every one; for -were Mr. such a one, naming my friend, there, -I would not deny him the curtesie: I at first -made strange of this story, and deny’d it, but -he falling into plain terms with me, and telling -me that he had watched me such a night, when -<span class='pageno' id='Page_371'>371</span>I lay with him, I could not then deny it, neither -did I long deny or refuse him what he desired; -so that he likewise took his pleasure with me; -and having obtained his desire at that time, he -made bold with me so often as he listed, when -the other was out of the way.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I had now two Bedfellows, so that I could seldom -lie alone, one of them would still bespeak -me; but the first of them did not know of the -2d. though he knew very well of the other: -Though I had sport enough with these two, yet -it was not long ere a third man likewise put in -for a share with them, and that was my Masters -brother; he was a very pretty young man, and -one whom I could well enough love for a Husband; -but he looked a little higher than to marry -a Servant-maid: but as a Mistress he courted -me. Many attempts he made in vain; but time -that bringeth every thing to pass, made me flexible, -and I likewise gave him possession of the -thing he desired: he took much pleasure in my -company, and very respectful to me, often presenting -me with Linnen and Laces, and sometimes -a Crown or an Angel came from his Pocket, -as well as from the other two, who well fed -me with mony, which I still pocketed up: but as -I got mony, so again I got somewhat else, a great -Belly, and which was the worst of my three -friends, I knew not which was the Father; but -if I am not mistaken, I believe it was my Masters -Brother.</p> - -<p class='c000'>But I was resolved the other two should help -to Father it, or else pay for it; and therefore I -soon told them all three, as they had occasion to -deal with me, in what condition I was. My first -<span class='pageno' id='Page_372'>372</span>and oldest friend was most troubled at it, being -as he thought the most concerned, because he -knew not of any else that had to do with me; -he was somewhat startled at it, lest, as he said, -his wife should come to know it; for, he was a -married man: and although his wife sometimes -came to Town, and would lie with him; yet he -would sometimes before he went to bed to her, -take his opportunity to have his pleasure with -me; He, I say was troubled at the news: but -that did not hinder us, in our purposed nights -lodging, only in the intervals we considered what -course to take; at length it was resolved, that he -would provide for me, the time of my lying Inn, -and afterwards for the child; and in earnest of -the charge, he soon gave me 20<em>l.</em> to provide me -with necessaryes. I having now done with my -first customer, was resolved to get something out -of my 2d: but he still gave me the hearing, presuming -on his knowledge of my having to do -with the first; yet, he would not on this occasion, -advance any thing, intending to shirk off, -because no body knew what trade we did drive -together.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I perceiving his intention; was resolved to be -even with him, and it may be out-wit him; and -that he might not distrust me, I seemed no ways -dissatisfied, but gave him as much freedom with -me, as ever; but to carry on my design, I thought -good to break the business to my Masters Brother; -wherefore, I likewise acquainted him with -my condition, and told him in plain terms, -that I was with child by him; He could not deny -the fact, nor make any excuse; not knowing -of my dealings with the other two; But he was -<span class='pageno' id='Page_373'>373</span>likewise very much surprized; But I doubting, he -might put me off; I took the opportunity of telling -him this news, when we were in bed together, -knowing there I should have time, and conveniency -to discourse it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He knew not what to say, and indeed was very -cold with me; and I was forced to help him out, -for he was then a Suiter to a young Gentlewoman, -and was fearful that this business would hinder his -fortunes; and though he loved me well enough, yet -he was unwilling to marry me: for that would prove -so disadvantagious to him: he supposing that nothing -but marriage would content me, was much -troubled, and could not tell what answer to give me: -wherefore I was forced to break silence, and told him, -that as I loved him, so I would shew him sufficient -proofs of it; for I would not that my love should -ruine him, as I knew it would, if the world should -know what had passed between us; and though -nothing could satisfie me but marriage; yet I -could be content to wave that, and propose somewhat -else of satisfaction; nay then, said he, if you -will be so kind to me, propose your own terms, -and take them; I hearing him thus generous, it -was not long ere we concluded upon terms; -which were these, that he would give me 20<em>l.</em> -down to bear my charges in the time of my Lying-in, -and if the child lived, he would give 50<em>l.</em> -more to any person whom I would appoint to -take the child, and provide for it; these terms -I was well enough satisfied with, only I considering -that he would hear of my lying with the -other, because I intended to discover that to him, -and have his assistance therein, and then I -doubted he would suspect me, and it may be refuse -<span class='pageno' id='Page_374'>374</span>to pay the 50<em>l.</em> when due; therefore I was -resolved to have him seal a Bond to me, for payment -of it: and I urged him to do it out of this -consideration, that he was to be married: and -though he now loved me well-enough, yet when -he had a Wife, he would happily slight and forget -me, and so refuse or neglect to pay it. He -was content to hear my arguments: and though -alwayes protesting a continuance of his love to -me, notwithstanding all the Wives in the World; -yet he consented to give me Bond according to -my desire.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus every thing being agreed on, we again -renewed our pleasures, and spent that night, as -we had done many before. But morning being -come, I arose, and so managed my affairs, that I -that day had a Bond Sealed to me for payment -of 50<em>l.</em> to be paid in 6 months; I also within few -dayes received of him the 20<em>l.</em> he had promised me.</p> - -<p class='c000'>Thus did I order my matters with my first and -last Customers, and I gave them their wonted satisfaction -of Lying with me so often as they -pleased; and so I did to the other my middle -Customer; but do what I could, I could not -bring him to any considerable Composition; and -though he were the best able, yet he offered me -the least, and intended to come off with a trifle; -however I gave him his wonted freedom with -me, but purposed ere long to be even with him, -as I was.</p> - -<p class='c000'>For one night being in bed with my Masters -Brother; I having very well pleased him, he -talked of his little <em>Hans in Kelder</em>, the Boy in -my belly, wishing very well to it, not in the least -doubting but it was of his own begetting, and -<span class='pageno' id='Page_375'>375</span>using many words to that purpose: well Sir, said -I, it is very true, it is yours, but if I would have -been as free with others, as I have been with you, -it might have had more, if not another Father; and -thereupon I proceeded, and told him how that I -had been often importuned by Mr. such a one, -his Brothers Lodger, and my 2d. Bedfellow. -Well replyed he, I am the more beholding to -you, that you have accepted of me rather than -him; but though I am not at all dis-satisfied in -what I have done, I wish he had been the Father, -for your sake as well as mine, for you may compel -him to marriage, or else get a considerable -sum of money from him. As for marriage, said -I, I doubt I should hardly draw him to it, but -some monies I might get of him, and would yet, -if you will but consent to it, and assist me therein. -To this he answered, that in any thing I -should desire, he would not be wanting, and -therefore he bid me propound the way, and he -would not fail in his assistance: I then told him, -that I knew but one way to do it, and in that I -must play the disloyal wag with him, to do that -which I had no mind: for that matter, said he, -you shall have my consent, and I think I guess at -your meaning, which is, that you must agree to -let him ly with you; wherefore since it will be -so advantagious to you, let him do it; for I am -sure he can do me no great wrong, for notwithstanding -what he can do, the Child will be all -mine, of my own getting.</p> - -<p class='c000'>He being so free to it, and agreeing to all -things according to my desire, we resolved that -I should permit my second Sweetheart to ly with -me; but I should so order the matter, that he -<span class='pageno' id='Page_376'>376</span>should take us in the manner, and then we would -agree to act the rest very well. I now having -laid my plot very well, and orderly, I appointed -my time when I would ly with him and agreed -to leave the Chamber door open, that he, rising -early the next morning, might (pretending some -business) enter the Chamber, and find us in Bed -together. Our plot being thus laid, and my 2<em>d.</em> -Sweetheart desiring it, I promised to come to -bed to him about midnight, which I did; but -my Masters brother knowing of my design, was -resolved to have the first carving of me, and that -he should only have a butter’d Bun; and therefore -caused me to ly with him all the former -part of the night; but midnight being past, he -permitted me to proceed in my adventure. I was -expected by my Bedfellow, and accordingly entertained; -but I minding the design I was about, -awaked early in the morning, and so ordered the -matter, that my Bedfellow likewise threw off his -drowsiness to encounter with me in our nocturnal -pastime, which when he had done, I began -to discourse him, reasoning the cause with him, -and desiring him to resolve me what he would -do for me in that condition I was, and what provision -he would make for me. He gave me indifferent -answers, and I grew passionate with -him, and on a sudden the Chamber door opened, -and my Masters Brother entred the room. I -seeing this, left off speaking and crouded my -self close down into the bed, as if pretending to -hide my self; but he coming boldly on, bid my -Bedfellow Good morrow, and asking him a question, -came nearer the Bed side, and drawing the -Curtains, said, what have you a Bedfellow? No -<span class='pageno' id='Page_377'>377</span>said he, not I; surely said the other you have, -for I am mistaken if I did not hear some other -tongue than yours; the other deny’d it, but he -knowing well enough what he had to do, soon -found out where my Petticoats lay: <em>How</em>, said -he, <em>surely you have a Bedfellow, and that a female -one</em>; the other being thus surprized, knew -not what to say: Wherefore my Mr. Brother proceeding, -said, <em>surely I should know these Coats, -for, if I am not mistaken, they are our Maid</em> -Dorothys. I finding my self discovered, now appeared, -and in the first place beg’d his pardon, -and <em>that he would not acquaint my Mr. and Mrs. -with it</em>. He seeming very angry soundly rated -me and my Bedfellow, and said he, <em>this is not the -first time that you two have lain together, for I -have long suspected you, and have watched you</em>. -<em>Truly Sir</em>, said I, <em>it is true this Gentleman hath -long known me, but I pray you make no more words -of it at present, and for modesties sake leave the -Chamber, and I will anon satisfie you further in -every particular.</em> My Bedfellow likewise requesting -the same, he very civilly left us, shutting the -Chamber door after him. My Bedfellow was -much surprized at this sudden accident, and I -seemed to be so; and quickly getting my cloaths, -arose and left him, retiring into my own Chamber, -leaving him to consider it.</p> - -<p class='c000'>I having now done my business, by having a -witness of my lying with him, was bold with -him, to know what I should do in the case; <em>for</em> -said I, <em>my Masters Brother will certainly acquaint -my Mr. and Mrs. with our actions, and then I -must leave the house, and whither to go, I know -not, nor who will entertain me</em>. He argued that -<span class='pageno' id='Page_378'>378</span>the other, my first Sweetheart, must provide for -me; to this I told him, <em>that I believed, that he -would do somewhat for me, but he had a Wife, -and could not do what he listed, whereas he on the -contrary was a single man, and rich enough</em>; and -he still endeavouring to put me off, and lay all -upon the first; I in plain terms told him, <em>that if -he continued to say so, I would wholly deny my -dealings with the other, and though he should -avouch it, yet he would not be believed, he being -himself a party guilty, as could be proved by my -Masters Brother; and therefore it would be judged -by all, that he, and he alone, was the Father of -the Child, and would be forced to marry me, or at -least provide for me and the Child</em>. I having told -him my resolution, left him to consider of it, and -then my Masters Brother came to him, and he -and I together so ordered the matter, that he -gave me 20<em>l.</em> down, and gave me bond to pay -50<em>l.</em> more at the Birth of the Child. This, said -Mrs. <em>Dorothy</em>, was the first of my adventures.</p> - -<p class='c000'><em>And this shall be the last I shall relate to you -in this part, referring the prosecution of hers, and -others adventures, to a third part.</em></p> - -<div class='nf-center-c1'> - <div class='nf-center'> - <div><span class='large'><em>FINIS.</em></span></div> - </div> -</div> - -<div class='tnotes'> - -<p class='c000'><a id='endnote'></a></p> -<div> - <h2 class='c004'>Transcriber’s Note</h2> -</div> -<p class='c000'>Every attention was paid to retaining the spelling and punctuation -of the original, with a few exceptions, noted below.</p> - -<p class='c000'>On occasion, obvious printer’s errors -have been modified, e.g. the repetition of words or syllables at -line breaks.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The spelling has been left intact, except where there are obvious -printer’s errors, or where a more conventional spelling is employed -in every other instance. Minor inconsistencies in punctuation have also -been corrected, without further mention.</p> - -<p class='c000'>On p. 223, the Latin quotation from Petronius includes the name ‘Aerisium’, -which, in the following translation is given as ‘Acresius’. The entire passage -from ‘It can make knees bow...’, including the citation from Petronius, -seems to have been cribbed from Owen Feltham’s <cite>Resolves: divine, -morall and politicall</cite>, where ‘Acrisium’ appears. Feltham died -the year our volume was published, and his <cite>Resolves</cite> was a -very popular in the day and continued to be republished into the 19th century.</p> - -<p class='c000'>The following table summarizes the issues encountered, and their -resolution:</p> - -<table class='table0' summary=''> -<colgroup> -<col width='14%' /> -<col width='63%' /> -<col width='22%' /> -</colgroup> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. x</td> - <td class='c015'>inclina[na]tion</td> - <td class='c016'>Removed.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 10</td> - <td class='c015'>they found the contrary to [to] their cost</td> - <td class='c016'>Removed, line break repetition.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 33</td> - <td class='c015'>of such as [as] should live</td> - <td class='c016'>Removed.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 38</td> - <td class='c015'>Dicision</td> - <td class='c016'><em>sic.</em> ‘Division’</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 42</td> - <td class='c015'>Water to Wat[a/e]r,</td> - <td class='c016'>Corrected.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 57</td> - <td class='c015'>transpla[n]ted</td> - <td class='c016'>Added.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 73</td> - <td class='c015'>conclude wi[l/t]h the Poet</td> - <td class='c016'>Corrected.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 130</td> - <td class='c015'>socie[t/i]y</td> - <td class='c016'>Corrected.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 131</td> - <td class='c015'>set [own by and] ancient <em>Patrico</em></td> - <td class='c016'><em>sic.</em> ‘down by an’</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 204</td> - <td class='c015'>this Mys[s]tery</td> - <td class='c016'>Corrected, line break repetition.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 214</td> - <td class='c015'>them as[ ]soon</td> - <td class='c016'>Added.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 223</td> - <td class='c015'>A[c/e]risium</td> - <td class='c016'>Corrected.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 365</td> - <td class='c015'>acquaintance, [tance]</td> - <td class='c016'>Removed, line break confusion.</td> - </tr> - <tr> - <td class='c015'>p. 376</td> - <td class='c015'>I [I] seeing this</td> - <td class='c016'>Removed, line break repetition</td> - </tr> -</table> - -</div> - -<p> </p> -<p> </p> -<hr class="full" /> -<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ENGLISH ROGUE: CONTINUED IN THE LIFE OF MERITON LATROON, AND OTHER EXTRAVAGANTS***</p> -<p>******* This file should be named 50949-h.htm or 50949-h.zip *******</p> -<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> -<a href="http://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/5/0/9/4/50949">http://www.gutenberg.org/5/0/9/4/50949</a></p> -<p> -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed.</p> - -<p>Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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