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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #50273 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/50273)
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-Project Gutenberg's The Adventures of M. D'Haricot, by J. Storer Clouston
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at
-www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Adventures of M. D'Haricot
-
-Author: J. Storer Clouston
-
-Illustrator: Albert Levering
-
-Release Date: October 21, 2015 [EBook #50273]
-Last Updated: March 15, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT
-
-By J. Storer Clouston
-
-Illustrated By Albert Levering
-
-Harper And Brothers
-
-New York
-
-1902
-
-
-[Illustration: 0001]
-
-
-[Illustration: 0008]
-
-
-[Illustration: 0010]
-
-
-
-
-THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT
-
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter I
-
-                   “Adieu, the land of my birth!
-
-                   Henceforth strange faces!”
-
---Boulevarde
-
-
-[Illustration: 9014]
-
-N my window-sill lies a faded rose, a rose plucked from an English
-lane. As I write, my eyes fall upon the gardens, the forests, around
-my ancestral chateau, but the faint scent is an English perfume. To the
-land of that rose, the land that sheltered, befriended, amused me, I
-dedicate these memoirs of my sojourn there.
-
-They are a record of incidents and impressions that sometimes have
-little connection one with another beyond the possession of one
-character in common-myself. I am that individual who with unsteady feet
-will tread the tight-rope, dance among the eggs, leap through the
-paper tambourine--in a word, play clown and hero to the melody of the
-castanets. I hold out my hat that you may drop in a sou should
-you chance to be amused. To the serious I herewith bid adieu, for
-instruction, I fear, will be conspicuously absent, unless, indeed, my
-follies serve as a warning.
-
-And now without further prologue I raise the curtain.
-
-The first scene is a railway carriage swiftly travelling farther and
-farther from the sea that washes the dear shores of France. Look out of
-the window and behold the green fields, the heavy hedge-rows enclosing
-them so tightly, the trees, not in woods, but scattered everywhere as
-by a restless forester, the brick farms, the hop-fields, the moist,
-vaporous atmosphere of England.
-
-Cast your eyes within and you will see, wrapped in an ulster of a
-British pattern concealing all that is not British in his appearance,
-an exile from his native land. Not to make a mystery of this individual,
-you will see, indeed, myself. And I--why did I travel thus enshrouded,
-why did my eye look with melancholy upon this fertile landscape, why
-did I sit sad and sombre as I travelled through this strange land? There
-were many things fresh and novel to stir the mind of an adventurer. The
-name, the platform, the look of every station we sped past, was a little
-piece of England, curious in its way. Many memories of the people and
-the places I had known in fiction should surely have been aroused and
-lit my heart with some enthusiasm. What reason, then, for sadness?
-
-I shall tell you, since the affair is now no secret, and as it hereafter
-touches my narrative. I was a Royalist, an adherent of the rightful king
-of France.
-
-[Illustration: 8016]
-
-I am still; I boast it openly. But at that time a demonstration had been
-premature, a government was alarmed, and I had fled.
-
-Hereafter I shall tell you more of the secret and formidable society
-of which I was then a young, enthusiastic member--the Une, Deux, Trois
-League, or U. D. T's, as we styled ourselves in brief, the forlorn hope
-of royalty in France. At present it is sufficient to say that we had
-failed.
-
-Baffled hopes, doubt as to the future, fear for the present, were my
-companions; and they are not gay, these friends.
-
-I felt--I confess it now mirthfully enough--suspicious of the porter of
-the train, of the guard, of the people who eyed me.
-
-I was young, and “political offender” had a terrible sound. The Bastile,
-Siberia, St. Helena; were not these places built, created, discovered,
-for the sole purpose of returning white-haired, enfeebled unfortunates
-to their native land, only to find their homes dissolved, their families
-deceased, themselves forgotten? The truth is that I was already in
-mourning for myself. The prospect of entering history by the martyr's
-postern had seemed noble in the heat of action and the excitement of
-intrigue. Now I only desired my liberty and as little public attention
-as possible. I commend this personal experience to all conspirators.
-
-Such a frame of mind begets suspicions fast, and when I found myself in
-the same compartment with a young man who had already glanced at me
-in the Gare du Nord, and taken a longer look on board the steamboat,
-I felt, I admit, decidedly uncomfortable. From beneath the shade of my
-travelling-cap I eyed him for the first half-hour with a deep distrust.
-Yet since he regarded me with that total lack of interest an Englishman
-bestows upon the unintroduced, and had, besides, an appearance of
-honesty written on his countenance, I began to feel somewhat ashamed of
-my suspicions, until at last I even came to consider him with interest
-as one type of that strange people among whom for a longer or a shorter
-time I was doomed to dwell, He differed, it is true, both from the
-busts of Shakespeare and the statues of Wellington, yet he was far
-from unpleasing. An athletic form, good features, a steady, blue eye, a
-complexion rosy as a girl's, fair hair brushed flat across his forehead,
-thirty years of truth-telling, cricket-playing, and the practice of
-three or four elementary ethical principles, not to mention an excellent
-tailor, all went to make this young man a refreshing and an encouraging
-spectacle.
-
-“Bah!” I said to myself. “My friend may not be the poet-laureate or the
-philanthropic M. Carnegie, but at least he is no spy.”
-
-By nature I am neither bashful nor immoderately timid, and it struck me
-that some talk with a native might be of service. My spirits, too, were
-rising fast. The train had not yet been stopped and searched; we were
-nearing the great London, where he who seeks concealment is as one pin
-in a trayful; the hour was early in the day, and the sun breaking out
-made the wet grass glisten.
-
-Yes, it was hard to remain silent on that glorious September morning,
-even though dark thoughts sat upon the same cushion.
-
-“Monsieur,” I said, “the sun is bright.”
-
-With this remark he seemed to show his agreement by a slight smile and
-a murmured phrase. The smile was pleasant, and I felt encouraged to
-continue.
-
-“Yet it does not always follow that the heart is gay. Indeed, monsieur,
-how often we see tears on a June morning, and hear laughter in March!
-It must have struck you often, this want of harmony in the world. Has it
-not?”
-
-I had been so carried away my thoughts that I had failed to observe the
-lack of sympathy in my fellow-traveller's countenance.
-
-“Possibly,” he remarked, dryly.
-
-“Ah,” I said, with a smile, “you do not appreciate. You are English.”
-
-[Illustration: 0019]
-
-“I am,” he replied. “And you are French, I suppose?”
-
-At his words, suspicion woke in my heart. It was only as a Frenchman
-that I ran the risk of arrest.
-
-“No; I am an American.”
-
-This was my first attempt to disclaim my nationality, and each time I
-denied my country I, like St. Peter, suffered for it. Fair France, your
-lovers should be true! That is the lesson.
-
-“Indeed,” was all he said; but I now began to enjoy my first experience
-of that disconcerting phenomenon, the English stare. Later on I
-discovered that this generally means nothing, and is, in fact, merely
-an inherited relic of the days when each Englishman carried his
-“knuckle-duster” (a weapon used in boxing), and struck the instant his
-neighbor's attention was diverted. It is thanks to this peculiarity
-that they now find themselves in possession of so large a portion of the
-globe, but the surviving stare is not a reassuring spectacle.
-
-Yet I must not let him see that I was in the slightest inconvenienced by
-his attitude. The antidote to suspicion is candor. I was candid.
-
-“Yes,” I said. “I am told that I do not resemble an American, but my
-name, at least, is good Anglo-Saxon.”
-
-And I handed him a card prepared for such an emergency. On it I had
-written, “Nelson Bunyan, Esq.” If that sounded French, then I had
-studied philology in vain.
-
-“I am a traveller in search of curios,” I added. “And you?”
-
-“I am not,” he replied, with a trace of a smile and a humorous look in
-his blue eyes.
-
-He was quite friendly, perfectly polite, but that was all the
-information about himself I could extract--“I am not,” followed by
-a commonplace concerning the weather. A singular type! Repressed,
-self-restrained, reticent, good-humoredly condescending--in a word,
-British.
-
-We talked of various matters, and I did my best to pick him, like his
-native winkle, from the shell. Of my success here is a sample. We had
-(or I had) been talking of the things that were best worth a young man's
-study.
-
-“And there is love,” I said. “What a field for inquiry, what variety of
-aspects, what practical lessons to be learned!”
-
-He smiled at my ardor.
-
-“Have you ever been in love?” I asked.
-
-“Possibly,” he replied, carelessly.
-
-“But devotedly, hopelessly, as a man who would sacrifice heaven for his
-mistress?”
-
-“Haven't blown my brains out yet,” he answered.
-
-“Ah, you have been successful; you have invariably brought your little
-affairs to a fortunate issue?”
-
-“I don't know that I should call myself a great ladies' man.”
-
-“Possibly you are engaged?” I suggested, remembering that I had heard
-that this operation has a singularly sedative effect upon the English.
-
-“No,” he said, with an air of ending the discussion, “I am not.”
-
-Again this “I am not,” followed by a compression of the lips and a cold
-glance into vacancy.
-
-“Ah, he is a dolt; a lump of lead!” I said to myself, and I sighed to
-think of the people I was leaving, the people of spirit, the people of
-wit. Little did I think how my opinion of my fellow-traveller would one
-day alter, how my heart would expand.
-
-But now I had something else to catch my attention. I looked out of the
-window, and, behold, there was nothing to be seen but houses. Below the
-level of the railway line was spread a sea of dingy brick dwellings,
-all, save here and there a church-tower, of one uniform height and of
-one uniform ugliness. Against the houses nearest to the railway were
-plastered or propped, by way of decoration, vast colored testimonials
-to the soaps and meat extracts of the country. In lines through this
-prosaic landscape rose telegraph posts and signals, and trains bustled
-in every direction.
-
-“Pardon me,” I said to my companion, “but I am new to this country. What
-city is this?”
-
-“London,” said he.
-
-London, the far-famed! So this was London. Much need to “paint it red,”
- as the English say of a frolic.
-
-“Is it all like this?” I asked.
-
-“Not quite,” he replied, in his good-humored tone.
-
-“Thank God!” I exclaimed, devoutly. “I do not like to speak
-disrespectfully of any British institution, but this--my faith!”
-
-We crossed the Thames, gray and gleaming in the sunshine, and now I
-am at Charing Cross. Just as the train was slowing down I turned to my
-fellow-traveller.
-
-“Have you been vaccinated?” I asked.
-
-“I have,” said he, in surprise.
-
-You see even reticence has its limits.
-
-“I thank you for the confidence,” I replied, gravely.
-
-As he stood up to take his umbrella from the rack he handed me back my
-card.
-
-“I say,” he abruptly remarked, in a tone, I thought, of mingled severity
-and innuendo, “I should have this legend altered, if I were you.
-Good-morning.”
-
-And with that he was gone, and my doubts had returned. He suspected
-something! Well, there was nothing to be done but maintain a stout heart
-and trust to fortune. And it takes much to drive gayety from my spirits
-for long. I was a fugitive, a stranger, a foreigner, but I hummed a tune
-cheerfully as I waited my turn for the ordeal of the custom-house. And
-here came one good omen. My appearance was so deceptively respectable,
-and my air so easy, that not a question was asked me. One brief glance
-at my dress-shirts and I was free to drive into the streets and lose
-myself in the life of London.
-
-Lose myself, do I say? Yes, indeed, and more than myself, too. My
-friends, my interests, my language, my home; all these were lost as
-utterly as though I had dropped them overboard In the Channel. I had not
-time to obtain even one single introduction before I left, or further
-counsel than I remembered from reading English books. And I assure you
-it is not so easy to benefit by the experiences of Mr. Pickwick and Miss
-Sharp as it may seem. Stories may be true to life, but, alas! life is
-not so true to stories.
-
-Fortunately, I could talk and read English well--even, I may say,
-fluently; also I had the spirit of my race; and finally--and, perhaps,
-most fortunately--I was not too old to learn.
-
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter II
-
-“_In that city, sire, even the manner of breathing was different._”
-
---PIZARRO.
-
-[Illustration: 9025]
-
-WAS in London, the vastest collection of people and of houses this world
-has ever seen; the ganglion, the museum, the axle of the English race;
-the cradle of much of their genius and most of their fogs; the home
-of Dr. Johnson, the bishops of Canterbury, the immortal Falstaff, the
-effigied Fawkes; also the headquarters of all the profitable virtues,
-all the principles of business. With an abandon and receptivity which
-I am pleased to think the Creator has reserved as a consolation for the
-non-English, I had hardly been half an hour in the city before I had
-become infected with something of its spirit.
-
-“Goddam! What ho!” I said to myself, in the English idiom. “For months,
-for years, forever, perhaps, I am to live among this incomprehensible
-people. Well, I shall strive to learn something, and, by Great Scotland!
-to enjoy something.” So I turned up my trousers and sallied out of my
-hotel.
-
-Ah, this was life, indeed, I had come into; not more so than Paris,
-but differently so. Stolidly, good-naturedly, and rapidly the citizens
-struggle along through the crowds on the pavement. They seem like
-helpless straws revolving in a whirlpool. Yet does one of them wish to
-cross the street? Instantly a constable raises a finger, the traffic of
-London is stopped, and Mr. Benjamin Bull, youngest and least important
-son of John, passes uninjured to the farther side.
-
-“What is this street?” I ask one of these officers, as he stands in the
-midst of a crossing, signalling which cab or dray shall pass him.
-
-“Strand,” says he, stopping five omnibuses to give me this information.
-
-“Where does it lead me?”
-
-“Which way do you wish to proceed?” he inquires, politely, still
-detaining the omnibuses.
-
-“East,” I reply, at a venture.
-
-“First to the right, second to the left, third to the right again, and
-take the blue bus as far as the Elephant and Angel,” he answers, without
-any hesitation.
-
-“A thousand thanks,” I gasp. “I think, on the whole, I should be safer
-to go westward.”
-
-He waves his hand, the omnibuses (which by this time have accumulated to
-the number of fourteen) proceed upon their journey, and I, had I the
-key to the cipher, should doubtless be in possession of valuable
-information. Such is one instance of the way in which the Londoner's
-substitute for Providence does its business.
-
-I shall not attempt to give at this point an exhaustive description
-of London. The mandates of fortune sent me at different times to enjoy
-amusing and embarrassing experiences in various quarters of the city,
-and these I shall touch upon in their places. It is sufficient to
-observe at present that London is a name for many cities.
-
-A great town, like a great man, is made up of various characters strung
-together. Just as the soldier becomes at night the lover and next
-morning the philosopher, so a city is on the east a factory, on the
-west a palace, on the north a lodging-house. So it is with Paris, with
-Berlin, with all. But London is so large, so devoid of system in its
-creation and in its improvements, so variously populated, that it
-probably exceeds any in its variety.
-
-No emperor or council of city fathers mapped the streets or regulated
-the houses. What edifice each man wanted that he built, guided only
-by the length of his purse and the depth of his barbarism; while the
-streets on which this arose is either the same roadway as once served
-the Romans, or else the speculative builder's idea of best advancing the
-interests of his property. Then some day comes a great company who wish
-to occupy a hundred metres of frontage and direct attention to their
-business. So many houses are pulled down and replaced by an erection
-twice the height of anything else, and designed, as far as possible, to
-imitate the cries and costume of a bookmaker. And all this time there
-are surviving, in nooks and corners, picturesque and venerable buildings
-of a by-gone age, and also, of late, are arising on all sides worthy and
-dignified new piles.
-
-So that the history of each house and each street, the mental condition
-of their architects and the financial condition of their occupants,
-are written upon them plainly with a smoky finger. For you see all
-this through an atmosphere whose millions of molecules of carbon and of
-aqueous vapor darken the bricks and the stones, and hang like a veil of
-fine gauze before them. London is huge, but the eternal mistiness makes
-it seem huger still, for however high a building you climb, you can see
-nothing but houses and yet more houses, melting at what looks a vast
-distance into the blue-and-yellow haze. Really, there may be green woods
-and the fair slopes of a country-side within a few miles, but since you
-cannot see them your heart sinks, and you believe that such good things
-must be many leagues below the brick horizon. More than once upon a
-Sunday morning, when the air was clear, I have been startled to see
-from the Strand itself a glimpse of the Surrey hills quite near and very
-beautiful, and I have said, “Thank God for this!”
-
-[Illustration: 0029]
-
-It was in the morning that I arrived in London, and my first day I spent
-in losing my way through the labyrinth of streets, which are set never
-at a right angle to one another, and are of such different lengths that
-I could scarcely persuade myself it had not all been specially arranged
-to mislead me.
-
-About one o'clock I entered a restaurant and ordered a genuine English
-steak--the porter-house, it was called. In quality, I admit this segment
-of an ox was admirable; but as for its quantity--my faith! I ate it till
-half-past two and scarcely had made an impression then. Half stupefied
-with this orgy, and the British beer I had taken to assist me in the
-protracted effort, I returned to my hotel, and there began the journal
-on which these memoirs are founded. As showing my sensations at the
-time, they are now of curious interest to me. I shall give the extract I
-wrote then:
-
-“_Amusing, absorbing, entertaining as a Chinese puzzle where all the
-pieces are alive; all these things is the city of London. Why, then, has
-it already begun to pall upon me? Ah, it is the loneliness of a crowd!
-In Paris I can walk by the hour and never see a face I know, and yet not
-feel this sense of desolation. Friends need not be before the eye, but
-they must be at hand when you wish to call them. For myself, I call them
-pretty frequently, yet often can remain for a time content to merely
-know that they are somewhere not too far away. But here--I may turn
-north, south, east, or west, and walk as far as I like in any direction,
-and not one should I find!_
-
-“_Shall I ever make a friend among this old, phlegmatic, business-like
-people? Some day perhaps, an acquaintance may be struck with some such
-reticent and frigid monster as my fair-haired companion of the
-journey. Would such a one console or cheer or share a single sentiment?
-Impossible! Mon Dieu! I shall leave this town in three days; I swear it.
-And where then? The devil knows!_”
-
-At this point the writing of these notes was unexpectedly interrupted,
-only to be resumed, as it chanced, after some adventurous days.
-
-A waiter entered, bearing a letter for me. I sprang up and seized
-it eagerly. It was addressed to Mr. Nelson Bunyan, Esq., and marked
-“Immediate and confidential.” These words were written in English and
-execrably misspelled.
-
-It could come from but one source, for who else knew my _nom de plume_,
-who else would write “Immediate and confidential,” and, I grieve to say
-it, who else would take their precautions in such a way as instantly to
-raise suspicions? Had the secretary of the “Une, Deux, Trois” no
-English dictionary, that he need make the very waiter stare at this very
-extraordinary address? I did my best to pass it off lightly.
-
-“From a lady,” I said to the man. “One not very well educated, perhaps;
-but is education all we seek in women?”
-
-“No, sir,” said he, replying to my glance with insufferable familiarity,
-“not all by no means.”
-
-Alas that the fugitive cannot afford to take offence!
-
-I opened the letter, and, as I expected, it was headed by the letters U.
-D. T:
-
-“_Go at once to the house of Mr. Frederick Hankey, No. 114 or 115 George
-Road, Streatham. Knock thrice on the third window, and when he comes say
-distinctly 'For the King.' He will give directions for your safety._”
-
-This missive was only signed F. II, but, of course, I knew the
-writer--our most indefatigable, our most enthusiastic, the secretary
-himself.
-
-Well, here was something to be done; a friend, perhaps, to be made; a
-spice of interest suddenly thrown into this city of strangers. After my
-fashion, my spirits rose as quickly as they had fallen. I whistled an
-air, and began to think this somewhat dreary hotel not a bad place,
-after all. I should only wait till darkness fell and then set out to
-interview Mr. Frederick Hankey.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter III
-
-
-“_What door will fit this key?_”
-
---Castillo Soprani.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9033]
-
-S I ate my solitary dinner before starting upon my expedition to Mr.
-Hankey's house, I began to think less enthusiastically of the adventure.
-Here was I; comfortable in my hotel, though, I admit, rather lonely;
-safe, so far, and apparently suspected by none to be other than the
-blameless Bunyan. Besides, now that I could find a friend for the
-seeking, my loneliness suddenly diminished. Also I was buoyed by the
-thought that I was a real adventurer, a romantic exile, as much so, in
-fact, as Prince Charles of Scotland or my own beloved king. Now I was to
-knock upon the window of a house that might be either number 114 or 115,
-and give myself blindfold to strangers.
-
-Yet on second thoughts I reflected that I knew nothing of English laws
-or English ways. Was I not in “perfidious Albion,” and might I not be
-handed over to the French government in defiance of all treaties, in
-order to promote the insidious policy of Chamberlain? Yes, I should go,
-after all, and I drank to the success of my adventure in a bottle of
-wine that sent me forth to the station in as gay a spirit as any gallant
-could wish.
-
-[Illustration: 0034]
-
-I had made cautious inquiries, asking of different servants at the
-hotel, and I had little difficulty in making my way by train as far
-as the suburb in which Mr. Hankey lived. There I encountered the first
-disquieting circumstance. Inquiring of a policeman, I found there was
-no such place as George Road, but a St. George's Road was well known to
-him. If F. II had been so inaccurate in one statement, might he not be
-equally so in another?
-
-I may mention here that the name of this road is my own invention. The
-mistake was a similar one to that I have narrated. In all cases I
-have altered the names of my friends and their houses, as these events
-happened so recently that annoyance might be caused, for the English
-are a reticent nation, and shrink from publicity as M. Zola did from
-oblivion.
-
-Up an immensely long and very dark road I went, studying the numbers of
-the houses on either side, and here at once a fresh difficulty presented
-itself. In an English suburb it is the custom to conceal the number
-provided by the municipal authorities, and decorate the gates instead
-with a fanciful or high-sounding title. Thus I passed “Blenheim Lodge,”
- “Strathcory,” “Rhododendron Grove,” and many other such residences, but
-only here and there could I find a number to guide me. By counting
-from 84, I came at last upon two houses standing with their gates close
-together that must either be 114 and 115, or 115 and 116. I could not be
-sure which, nor in either case did I know whether the one or the other
-sheltered the conspiring Hankey. The gate on the left was labelled
-“Chickawungaree Villa,” that on the right “Mount Olympus House.” In the
-house I could see through the trees that all was darkness, and the gate
-was so shabby as to suggest that no one lived there. In the villa, on
-the contrary, I saw two or three lighted windows. I determined to try
-the villa.
-
-The drive wound so as to encircle what appeared in the darkness to be a
-tennis-court and an arbor, and finally emerged through a clump of trees
-before a considerable mansion. And here I was confronted by another
-difficulty. My directions said, knock upon the third window. But there
-were three on either side of the front door, and then how did I know
-that Hankey might not prefer me to knock upon his back or his
-side windows? My friend F. II might be a martyr and a patriot; but
-business-like? No.
-
-“Blind fortune is the goddess to-night,” I said to myself, and with that
-I tapped gently upon the third window from the door counting towards the
-right. I have often since consoled myself by thinking that I should have
-exhibited no greater intuition had I counted towards the left.
-
-I tap three times. No answer. Again three times. Still no answer. It was
-diabolically dark, and the trees made rustling noises very disconcerting
-to the nerves of one unaccustomed to practise these preliminaries before
-calling upon a friend.
-
-“The devil!” I say to myself. “This time I shall make Mr. Hankey hear
-me.”
-
-And so I knocked very sharply and loudly, so sharply that I cracked the
-pane.
-
-“Unfortunate,” I thought; “but why should I not convert Hankey's
-misfortune into my advantage?”
-
-With the intention of perhaps obtaining a glimpse into the room, I
-pushed the pane till, with an alarming crash, a considerable portion
-fell upon the gravel.
-
-[Illustration: 9037]
-
-With a start I turned, and there, approaching me from either side, were
-two men. Hankey had evidently heard me at last.
-
-“Who are you?” said one of them, a stout gentleman, I could see, with
-a consequential voice. I came a step towards him. “For the King,” I
-replied.
-
-He seemed to be staring at me.
-
-“What the devil--?” he exclaimed, in surprise.
-
-My heart began to sink.
-
-“You are Mr. Hankey?” I inquired.
-
-“I am not,” he replied, with emphasis.
-
-Here was a delicate predicament!
-
-But I was not yet at the end of my resources.
-
-“May I inquire your name?” I asked, politely.
-
-“My name is Fisher,” he said, with a greater air of consequence than
-ever, but no greater friendliness.
-
-“What, Fisher himself!” I exclaimed, with pretended delight. “This is
-indeed a fortunate coincidence! How are you, Fisher?”
-
-Still no answer.
-
-I held out my hand, but this monster of British brutality paid no
-attention to my overture.
-
-“Who are you?” he asked once more.
-
-Not having yet made up my mind who I was, I thought it better to
-temporize.
-
-“My explanations will take a few minutes, I am afraid,” I answered. “The
-hour also is late. May I call upon you in the morning?”
-
-“I think you had better step in and explain now,” said Fisher, curtly.
-
-They were two to one, and very close to me, while I was hampered with
-my British ulster. I must trust to my wits to get me safely out of this
-house again.
-
-“I shall be charmed, if I am not disturbing you.”
-
-“You are disturbing me,” said the inexorable Fisher. “In fact, you have
-been causing a considerable disturbance, and I should like to know the
-reason.”
-
-Under these cheerful circumstances I entered Chickawungaree Villa,
-Fisher preceding me, and the other man, whom I now saw to be his butler,
-walking uncomfortably close behind.
-
-“Step in here,” said Fisher. He showed me into what was evidently his
-dining-room, and then, after saying a few words in an undertone to his
-servant, he closed the door, drew forward a chair so as to cut off my
-possible line of flight, sat upon it, and breathed heavily towards me.
-
-Figure to yourself my situation. A large, red-faced, gray-whiskered
-individual, in a black morning-coat and red slippers, staring stolidly
-at me from a meat-eating eye; name Fisher, but all other facts
-concerning him unknown.
-
-[Illustration: 0039]
-
-A stiff, uninhabited-looking apartment of considerable size, lit with
-the electric light, upholstered in light wood and new red leather, and
-ornamented by a life-sized portrait of Fisher himself, this picture being
-as uncompromising and apoplectic as the original. Finally, standing in
-an artificially easy attitude before a fireplace containing a frilled
-arrangement of pink paper, picture an exceedingly uncomfortable
-Frenchman.
-
-“You scarcely expected me?” I begin, with a smile.
-
-“I did not,” says Fisher.
-
-“I did not expect to see you,” I continue; but to this he makes no
-reply.
-
-“I was looking for the house of Mr. Hankey.”
-
-“Were you?” says Fisher.
-
-“Do you know him?” I ask.
-
-“No,” says Fisher.
-
-A pause. The campaign has opened badly; no doubt of that. I must try
-another move.
-
-“You will wonder how I knew him,” I say, pleasant.
-
-Fisher only breathes more heavily.
-
-“Our mutual friend, Smith,” I begin, watching closely to see if his mind
-responds to this name. I know that Smith is common in England, and think
-he will surely know some one so called. “Smith mentioned you.”
-
-But no, there is no gleam of recognition.
-
-“Indeed,” is all he remarks, very calmly.
-
-There is no help for it, I must go on.
-
-“I intended to call upon you some day this week. I have heard you highly
-spoken of--'The great Fisher,' 'The famous Fisher.' Indeed, sir, I
-assure you, your name is a household word in Scotland.”
-
-I choose Scotland because I know its accent is different from English.
-My own also is different. Therefore I shall be Scotch. Unhappy
-selection!
-
-“Do you mean to pretend you are Scotch?” says Fisher, frowning as well
-as breathing at me.
-
-I must withdraw one foot.
-
-“Half Scotch, half Italian,” I reply.
-
-Ah, France, why did I deny you? I was afraid to own you, I blush to
-confess it. And I was righteously punished.
-
-“Italian?” says he, with more interest. “Ah, indeed!”
-
-[Illustration: 9041]
-
-He stares more intently, frowns more portentously, and respires more
-loudly than ever.
-
-“A charming country,” I say.
-
-“No doubt,” says Fisher.
-
-At this moment the door opens behind him and a lady appears. She has a
-puffy cheek, a pale eye, a comfortable figure, a curled fringe of gray
-hair, and slightly projecting teeth; in a word, the mate of Fisher.
-There can be no mistake, and I am quick to seize the chance.
-
-“My dear Mrs. Fisher!” I exclaim, advancing towards her.
-
-With a movement like a hippopotamus wallowing, Fisher places himself
-between us. Does he think I have come to elope with her?
-
-I assume the indignant rôle.
-
-“Mr. Fisher!” I cry, much hurt at this want of confidence.
-
-“Who is this gentleman?” asks Mrs. Fisher, looking at me, I think, with
-a not altogether disapproving glance.
-
-“Ask him,” says Fisher.
-
-“Madame,” I say, with a bow, “I am an unfortunate stranger, come to
-pay my respects to Mr. Fisher and his beautiful lady. I wish you could
-explain my reception.”
-
-“What is your name?” says Mrs. Fisher, with comparative graciousness,
-considering that she is a bourgeois Englishwoman taken by surprise, and
-fearing both to be cold to a possible man of position and to be friendly
-with a possible nobody.
-
-A name I must have, and I must also invent it at once, and it must be
-something both Scotch and Italian. I take the first two that come into
-my head.
-
-“Dugald Cellarini,” I reply.
-
-They look at one another dubiously. I must put them at their ease at any
-cost.
-
-“A fine picture,” I say, indicating the portrait of my host, “and an
-excellent likeness. Do you not think so, Mrs. Fisher?”
-
-She looks at me as if she had a new thought.
-
-“Are you a friend of the artist?” she asks.
-
-“An intimate,” I reply with alacrity.
-
-“We have informed Mr. Benzine that we specially desired him not to bring
-any more of his Bohemian acquaintances to our house,” says the amiable
-lady.
-
-I am plunging deeper into the morass! Still, I have at last accounted
-for my presence.
-
-“Mr. Benzine did not warn me of this, madame,” I reply, coldly. “I
-apologize and I withdraw.”
-
-I make a step towards the door, but the large form of Fisher still
-intervenes.
-
-“Then Benzine sent you?” he says.
-
-“He did, though evidently under a misapprehension.”
-
-“And what about Smith?” asks Fisher, with an approach to intelligence in
-his bovine eye.
-
-“Well, what about him?” I ask, defiantly.
-
-“Did he send you, too?”
-
-“My reception has been such that I decline to give any further
-explanations.”
-
-“That is all very well,” says Fisher--“that is all very well--”
-
-He is evidently cogitating what is all very well, when we hear heavy
-steps in the passage.
-
-“They have come at last!” he exclaims, and opens the door.
-
-“More visitors!” I say to myself, hoping now for a diversion. In another
-moment I get it. Enter the butler and two gigantic policemen.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter IV
-
-
-“'_Let me out,' said the mouse, 'I do not care for this cheese._'”
-
---Fables of Laetertius.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9044]
-
-ICTURE now this comedy and its actors. Fisher of the porpoise habit,
-Mrs. Fisher of the puffy cheek, poor Dugald Cellarini, and these two
-vast, blue-coated, thief-catching “bobbies” (as with kindly humor the
-English term their police); all save Dugald looking terribly solemn and
-important. He, poor man, strove hard to give the affair a lighter turn,
-but what is one artist in a herd of Philistines? I was not appreciated;
-that is the truth. A man may defy an empire, a papal bull, an infectious
-disease, but a prejudice--never! “Constable,” says Fisher, “I have
-caught him.” Both bobbies look at me with much the same depressing
-glance as Fisher himself.
-
-“Yes, sir,” says one, in what evidently was intended for a tone of
-congratulation. “So I see.”
-
-The other bobby evidently agrees with this sentiment. Wonderful
-unanimity! I have noticed it in the Paris gendarmes also, the same quick
-and intelligent grasp of a situation.
-
-The latter quality was so conspicuous in my two blue-coated friends that
-I named them instantly Lecoq and Holmes.
-
-Holmes speaks next, after an impressive pause.
-
-“What's he done?”
-
-“That is the point,” says Fisher, in a tone of such damaging insinuation
-that I am spurred to my defence.
-
-“Exactly--what have I done?”
-
-“He has endeavored to effect an entry into my house by removing a pane
-of glass,” says Fisher.
-
-“Pardon me; to call the attention of the servants by rapping upon a pane
-of glass.”
-
-“Come now, none of that!” says Lecoq, with such severity that I see the
-situation at once. He is jealous. I have cast an imputation on some fair
-housemaid--the future Mrs. Lecoq, no doubt.
-
-“An assignation, you think?” I ask, with a reassuring smile.
-
-“Sir!” cries Mrs. Fisher, indignantly. “It was my daughter's window you
-broke!”
-
-Shall I pose as the lover of Miss Fisher? I have heard that unmarried
-English girls take strange liberties.
-
-“Your fair daughter--” I begin.
-
-“Is a child of fifteen,” interrupts virtuous Mrs.
-
-Fisher, “and I am certain knows nothing of this person.”
-
-By the expression of their intelligent countenances, Holmes and Lecoq
-show their concurrence in this opinion.
-
-“Confront her with me!” I demand, folding my arms defiantly.
-
-It has since struck me that this was a happy inspiration, and in the
-right dramatic key. Unfortunately, it requires an imaginative audience,
-and I had two Fishers and two bobbies.
-
-Rapidly I had calculated what would happen. The fair and innocent maiden
-should be aroused from her virgin slumbers; with dishevelled locks, and
-in a long, loose, and becoming drapery of some soft color (light blue
-to harmonize with her flaxen hair, for instance), she should be led into
-this chamber of the inquisition; then my eye should moisten, my voice be
-as the lute of Apollo, and it would be a thousand francs to a dishonored
-check that I should melt her into some soft confession. Not that I
-should ask her to compromise her reputation to save me. Never, on my
-honor, would I permit that. Indeed, if my plight tempted her to invent
-a story she might repent of afterwards, I should disavow it with so
-sincere and honest an air that my captors would exclaim together, “We
-have misjudged him!”
-
-No, I should merely persuade her to confess that a not ill-looking
-foreigner had pursued her with glances of chivalrous admiration for
-some days past, and that from his air of hopeless passion it was not
-surprising to find him to-night tapping upon her window-pane.
-
-Alas, that so promising a scheme should fail through the incurable
-poverty of the Fisher spirit! My demand is simply ignored.
-
-“What acquaintance have you with my daughter?” asks Mrs. Fisher, icily.
-
-“You will respect my confidence?” I ask, earnestly.
-
-“We shall use our discretion,” replies the virtuous lady.
-
-“Quite so; we shall use our discretion,” repeats her unspeakable
-husband.
-
-“I am satisfied with your assurance,” I say. “The discretion of a Fisher
-is equivalent to the seal of the confessional. I thank you from my
-heart, and I bow to your judgment.”
-
-“What do you know of my daughter?” Mrs. Fisher repeats, quite unmoved by
-my candor.
-
-“Madame, I was about to tell you. You asked if I was acquainted with
-that charming, and, I can assure you on my honor, spotless young lady?”
-
-“I did,” says Mrs. Fisher; “but I do not require any remarks on her
-character from you, sir.”
-
-“Pardon me; they escaped me inadvertently What I feel deeply I am
-tempted to say. I do not know Miss Fisher personally. I have not yet
-ventured to address a word to her, not so much as a syllable, not even
-a whisper. My respect for her innocence, for her youth, for her parents,
-has been too great. But this I confess: I have for days, for weeks, for
-months, followed her loved figure with the eye of chaste devotion!
-On her walks abroad I have been her silent, frequently her unseen,
-attendant. Through every street in London I have followed the divine
-Miss Fisher, as a sailor the polar star! To-night, in a moment of
-madness, I approached her home; I touched her window that I might
-afterwards kiss the hand that had come so near her! In my passion I
-touched too hard, the pane broke, and here I stand before you!”
-
-So completely had I been carried away on the wings of my own fancy that
-once or twice in the course of this outburst I had committed myself
-to more than I had any intention of avowing. Be emphatic but never
-definite, is my counsel to the liar. But I had, unluckily, tied myself
-to my inventions. The gestures, the intonation, the key of sentiment
-were beyond criticism; but then I was addressing Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, of
-Chickawungaree Villa.
-
-They glance at one another, and Lecoq glances at them.
-
-He, honest man, merely touches his head significantly and winks in my
-direction. The Fishers are not, however, content with this charitable
-criticism.
-
-“My daughter only returned from her seminary in Switzerland four days
-ago,” says Mrs. Fisher.
-
-“And she has never visited the streets of London except in Mrs. Fisher's
-company,” adds her spouse, with a look of what is either dull hatred or
-impending apoplexy.
-
-Even at that crisis my wits did not desert me.
-
-“My faith!” I cry, “I must be mistaken! It is not, then, Miss Fisher
-whom I worship! A thousand pardons, sir, and I beg of you to convey them
-to the lady whom I disturbed under a misapprehension!”
-
-At this there is a pause, nobody volunteering to run with this message
-to the bedside of Miss Fisher, though I glance pointedly at Holmes,
-and even make the money in my pocket jingle. At last comes a sound
-of stifled air trying to force a passage through something dense.
-It proceeds, I notice, from my friend Fisher. Then it becomes a more
-articulate though scarcely less disagreeable noise.
-
-“I do not believe a word you say, sir!” he booms.
-
-“My friend, you are an agnostic,” I reply, with a smile.
-
-Fisher only breathes with more apparent difficulty than ever. He is
-evidently going to deal a heavy blow this time. It falls.
-
-“I charge this person with being concerned in the burglary at Mrs.
-Thompson's house last night, and with trying to burgle mine,” says he.
-
-He pauses, and then delivers another:
-
-“He has confessed to being an Italian.”
-
-The constables prick up their ears.
-
-“The organ-grinder!” exclaims Holmes, with more excitement than I had
-thought him capable of.
-
-“The man as made the butler drunk and gagged the cook!” cries Lecoq.
-
-Here is a fine situation for a political fugitive! I am indignant. I am
-pathetic. 'No use. I explain frankly that I came to see Mr. Hankey. That
-only deepens suspicion, for it seems that the excellent Hankey inhabited
-Mount Olympus House next door for only three weeks, and departed a month
-ago without either paying his rent or explaining the odor of dead bodies
-proceeding from his cellars. Doubtless my French friends had acted for
-the best in sending me to him, but would that he had taken the trouble
-to inform them of his change of address! And then, why had I ever
-thought of being an Italian? It appeared now that a gentleman of that
-nationality, having won the confidence of the Thompson children and the
-Thompson servants by his skill upon the hand-organ, had basely misused
-it in the fashion indicated by Lecoq. Certainly it was hard to see why
-such a skilled artist should have returned the very next night to a
-house three doors away, and then bungled his business so shamefully;
-but that argument is beyond the imagination of my bobbies. In fact, they
-seem only too pleased to find a thief so ready to meet them half-way.
-
-“Thank you, sir,” says Holmes, at the conclusion of the painful scene.
-“We shouldn't mind a drop.”
-
-This means that they are about to be rewarded for their share in the
-capture by a glass of Fisher's ale. And I? Well, I am not to have any
-ale, but I am to accompany them to the cells, and next morning make my
-appearance before the magistrate on one charge of burglary and another
-of attempted burglary.
-
-I cannot resist one parting shot at my late host.
-
-“Yes, Fisher,” I remark, critically, showing no hurry to leave the
-room, “I like that portrait of you. It has all your plain, well-fed,
-plum-pudding appearance, without your unpleasant manner of breathing and
-your ridiculous conversation--and it is not married to Mrs. Fisher.”
-
-To this there is no reply. Indeed, I do not think they recovered their
-senses for at least ten minutes after I left the room.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter V
-
-
-“_The comedy of the law is probably the chief diversion of the angels._”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9052]
-
-VER the rest of that night I shall draw a veil. I was taken to Newgate,
-immured in the condemned cell, and left to my reflections. They were
-sombre enough, I assure you. Young, ambitious, ardent, I sat there in
-that foreign prison, without a friend, without a hope. If I state the
-truth about myself, this excuse will be seized for sending me back to
-France. And what then? Another prison! If I keep my identity concealed,
-how shall I prove that I am not the burgling musician?
-
-As you can well imagine, I slept little and dreamed much. I was only
-thankful I had no parents to mourn my loss, for by this time I had quite
-made up my mind that the organ-grinder's antecedents would certainly
-hang me.
-
-I cursed Fisher, I cursed the League, I cursed F. II, that indefatigable
-conspirator who had dragged me from a comfortable hotel and a safe alias
-to--what? The scaffold; ah, yes, the scaffold!
-
-It may sound amusing now, when I am still unhanged; but it was far from
-amusing then, I assure you.
-
-Well, the morning broke at last, and I was led, strongly escorted by the
-twins Lecoq and Holmes, towards the venerable law-court at Westminster.
-I recognized the judge, the jury, the witnesses, and the counsel, though
-my thoughts were too engrossed to take a careful note of these. In fact,
-in writing this account I am to some extent dependent on reports of
-other trials. They are all much the same, I understand, differing
-chiefly as one or more judges sit upon the bench.
-
-In this case there was only one, a little gentleman with a shrewd eye
-and a dry voice--a typical hanging judge, I said to myself. I prepared
-for the worst.
-
-First comes the formal accusation. I, giving the name of Dugald
-Cellarini am a blood-thirsty burglar. Such, in brief, is the charge,
-although its deadly significance is partly obscured by the discreet
-phraseology of the law.
-
-Then my friend Holmes enters the box, stiff and evidently nervous,
-and in a halting voice and incoherent manner (which in France would
-inevitably have led to his being placed in the dock himself) he
-describes the clever way I was caught by himself and the astute Lecoq.
-So misleading is his account of my guilty demeanor and suspicious
-conduct, that I instantly resolve to cross-examine him. Politely but
-firmly I request the judge's permission. It is granted, and I can see
-there is a stir of excitement in the court.
-
-“Did I struggle with you?” I ask.
-
-Holmes, turning redder than ever, admits that I did not.
-
-“Did I knock you down? Did I seek to escape?”
-
-No, Holmes was not knocked down, nor had I tried to escape from the
-representatives of the law.
-
-“And why, if I was a burglar, did I not do these things?”
-
-“You wasn't big enough,” says Holmes.
-
-Well, I admit he had the advantage of me there. The court, prejudiced
-against me as they were, laughed with Holmes, but at the next bout I
-returned his lunge with interest.
-
-“What did Fisher give you to drink?” I ask.
-
-The question is dismissed by my vindictive judge as irrelevant, but I
-have thrown Holmes into great confusion and made the court smile with
-me.
-
-“That is all,” I say, in the tone of a conqueror, and thereupon Lecoq
-takes the place of Holmes, and in precisely the same manner, and with
-the same criminal look of abasement, repeats almost exactly the same
-words.
-
-Against him I design a different line of counterattack. I remember
-his jealousy when I spoke of the servants, and, if possible, I shall
-discredit his testimony by an assault upon his character. Assuming an
-encouraging air, I ask:
-
-“You know the servants at Fisher's house?”
-
-He stammers, “Yes.”
-
-“With one in particular you are well acquainted?”
-
-He looks at the judge for protection, but so little is my line of attack
-suspected that the judge only gazes at us in rapt attention.
-
-“I do,” says Lecoq, after a horribly incriminating pause.
-
-“Now tell me this,” I demand, sternly. “Have you always behaved towards
-her as an honorable policeman?”
-
-Would you believe it? This question also is disallowed! But I think I
-have damaged Lecoq all the same.
-
-Next comes Fisher, red-faced, more pompous than ever, and inspired, I
-can see, with vindictive hatred towards myself. It appears that he is
-a London merchant; that his daughter heard a tapping on her window
-and called her father; that he and his servant caught me in the act of
-entering the chaste bedchamber through a broken window.
-
-At this point I ask if I may put a question. The judge says yes.
-
-“How much glass fell out?” I ask.
-
-“Half a pane,” says he.
-
-“And the rest stayed in?”
-
-He has to admit that it did; very ungraciously, however.
-
-“How many panes to the window?”
-
-He cannot answer this; but the judge, much to my surprise, comes to the
-rescue and elicits the fact that there are six.
-
-“How far had I gone through a twelfth of your window?” I ask.
-
-His face gets redder, and there is a laugh through the court. I feel
-that I have “scored a try,” as they say, and my spirits begin to rise
-again.
-
-But, alas! they are soon damped. Mrs. Thompson's butler steps into
-the witness-box, and a more shameless liar I have never heard. Yes,
-he remembers an organ-grinder coming to the house on various occasions
-during the past fortnight. Here I interpose.
-
-“What did he play?” I ask.
-
-“Not being interested in such kinds of music, I cannot say.”
-
-“Possibly you have a poor ear?” I suggest.
-
-“My ear is as right as some people's, but it has not been accustomed
-to the hand-organ,” says the butler, with a magnificence that seems to
-impress even the judge.
-
-“You should have it boxed, my friend,” I cannot help retorting, though I
-fear this does not meet the unqualified approval of the judge.
-
-Next he is asked for an account of his dealings with the musician when
-that gentleman visited the kitchen upon the night of the burglary,
-and it appears that, shortly after the grinder's departure, he lost
-consciousness with a completeness and rapidity that can only have been
-caused by some insidious drug surreptitiously introduced into the
-glass of beer he happened to be finishing at that moment. He scorns
-the insinuation (made by myself) that he and the musician were drinking
-together; he would not so far demean himself. That outcast did, however,
-on one occasion, approach suspiciously near his half-empty glass.
-
-“Well,” I remark, with a smile, “the moral Is that next time you should
-provide your guests with glasses of their own.”
-
-Again I score, but quickly he has his revenge. Does he recognize me as
-the organ-grinder? he is asked. He is not sure of the face, not taking
-particular notice of persons of that description, but--he is ready to
-swear to my voice!
-
-It seems, then, that I have the same accent as an Italian organ-grinder!
-I bow ironically, but the sarcasm, I fear, is lost.
-
-“What is so distinctive about this voice I share with your Italian boon
-companion?” I inquire, suavely.
-
-He evidently dislikes the innuendo, but, in the presence of so many of
-his betters, decides to retaliate only by counter-sarcasm. “It's what I
-call an unedicated voice,” says he.
-
-“Uneducated Italian or uneducated English?” I inquire.
-
-“Italian,” he replies, with the most consummate assurance.
-
-“You know Italian?”
-
-“Having travelled in Italy, I am not altogether unfamiliar,” he answers.
-
-I then put to him a simple Italian sentence.
-
-“What does that mean, and is it educated or uneducated?” I ask.
-
-“It means something that I should not care for his lordship to hear, and
-is the remark of a thoroughly uneducated person,” he retorts.
-
-The court roars, and some even cheer the witness. For myself, I am
-compelled to join the laughter--the impudence is so colossal.
-
-“My lord,” I say to the judge, “this distinguished scholar has so
-delicate a mind that I should only scandalize him by asking further
-questions.”
-
-So the butler retires with such an air of self-satisfaction that I could
-have shot him, and the gagged cook takes his place.
-
-This young woman is not ill-looking, and is very abashed at having to
-make this public appearance. It appears that her glimpse of the
-burglar was brief, as with commendable prudence he rapidly fastened
-her night-shift over her head, but in that glimpse she recognized my
-mustache!
-
-“Could she tell how it felt?” I ask.
-
-The point is appreciated by the court, though not, I fear, by the judge,
-who looks at me as though calculating the drop he should allow. Yes, it
-is all very well to jest about my mustache, but to be hanged by it, that
-is a different affair. And the case is very black against me.
-
-“Has the prisoner any witnesses to call?” asks the judge.
-
-“No,” I reply, “but I shall make you a speech.”
-
-And thereupon I delight them with the following oration, an oration
-which should have gone on much longer than it did but for a most
-unforeseen interruption.
-
-“My lord, the jury, and my peers,” I begin--remembering so much from my
-historical stories--“I am entirely guiltless of this extraordinary and
-infamous charge. No one but such a man as Fisher would have brought it!”
- [Here I point my finger at the unhappy tenant of Chickawungaree.]
-
-“No one else of the brave English would have stooped to injure an
-innocent and defenceless stranger! As to the butler and the cook,
-you have seen their untruthful faces, you have heard their incredible
-testimony. I say no more regarding them. The policemen have only shown
-that they found me an unwilling and insulted--though invited--guest
-of the perfidious Fisher. What harm, then? Have you never been the
-unwilling guests of a distasteful host?
-
-“Who am I? Why did I visit such a person as Fisher? I shall tell you. I
-am a French subject, a traveller in England. Only yesterday I arrived
-in London. How can I, then, have burgled Madame Thompson? Impossible!
-Absurd! I had not set my foot upon the shores of England--”
-
-At this point the judge, in his dry voice, interrupts me to ask if I can
-bring any witnesses to prove this assertion.
-
-“Witnesses?” I exclaim, not knowing what the devil to add to this
-dramatic cry, when, behold! I see, sent by Providence, a young
-man rising from his seat in the court. It is my fair-haired
-fellow-passenger!
-
-“May I give evidence?” says he.
-
-“Though your name be Iscariot, yes!” I cry.
-
-The judge frowns, for it seems the demand was addressed to him and not
-to me; but he permits my acquaintance to enter the box. And now a doubt
-assails me. What will he say? Add still more damaging testimony, or
-prove that I am the harmless Bunyan?
-
-He does neither, but in a very composed and assured fashion, that
-carries conviction with it, he tells the judge that he travelled with me
-from Paris on the very night of the crime, adding that I had appeared to
-him a very harmless though somewhat eccentric person. Not the adjectives
-I should have chosen myself, perhaps; but, I assure you, I should have
-let him call me vulgar or dirty without a word of protest.
-
-Of course it follows that I cannot be the musical burglar, while as for
-my friend Fisher, that worthy gentleman is so disconcerted at the turn
-things have taken that he seems as anxious to withdraw his share of the
-charge as he was to make it.
-
-I am saved; the case breaks, down.
-
-“How's that?” says the judge.
-
-“Guiltless!” cries the jury.
-
-And so I am a free man once more, and the cook must swear to another
-mustache.
-
-The first thing I do is to seize my witness and drag him from the court,
-repeating my thanks all the while.
-
-“But how did you come to be in court?” I ask.
-
-“Oh, I happen to be a barrister!” he explains. “I came in about another
-case, and, finding you'd been burgling, I thought I'd stay and see the
-fun.”
-
-“Your case must take care of itself; come and lunch with me.”
-
-Yes, he can escape. His case will not come on to-day, as mine has taken
-so long; and so we go forth together to begin a friendship that I trust
-may always endure.
-
-And to this day I have never paid for Fisher's broken pane of glass.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter VI
-
-
-“_On earth men style him 'Richard,'_
-
-_But the gods hail him 'Dick._'”
-
---An English Poet (adapted).
-
-
-[Illustration: 9062]
-
-FRIEND in need.” say the English, “is a friend indeed. And who could be
-more in need of a friend than I at that moment? It was like the rolling
-up of London fog-banks and the smile of the sun peeping through at
-last. No longer was I quite alone in my exile. If you have ever wandered
-solitary through an unknown city, listened to a foreign tongue and to
-none other, eaten alien viands, fallen into strange misadventures, and
-all without a single friendly ear to confide your troubles to, you will
-sympathize with the joyous swelling of my heart as I faced my barrister
-at that luncheon.
-
-And he, I assure you, was a very other person from the indifferent
-Englishman of the journey. The good heart was showing through, still
-obscured as it was by the self-contained manner and the remnants of that
-suspicion with which every Briton is taught to regard the insinuating
-European.
-
-I have already given you a sketch of his exterior--the smooth, fair
-hair, the ruddy cheek, the clear eye, and, I should add, the compressed
-and resolute mouth; also, not least, the admirable fit of his garments.
-Now I can fill in the picture: Name, to begin with, Richard Shafthead;
-younger son of honest, conservative baronet; eldest brother provided
-with an income, I gather, Dick with injunctions to earn one. Hence
-attendance at courts of justice, a respectable gravity of apparel,
-and that compression of the lips. In speech, courteous upon a slight
-acquaintance, though without any excessive anxiety to please; on
-greater intimacy, very much to the point without regarding much the
-susceptibilities of his audience. Yet this bluntness was, tempered
-always by good-fellowship, and sometimes by a smile; and beneath it
-flowed, deep down, and scarcely ever bubbling into the light of day,
-a stream of sentiment that linked him with the poetry of his race. My
-friend Shafthead would have laughed outright had you told him this.
-Nevertheless this secret is the skeleton in the respectable English
-cupboard. Your John Bull is an edifice of sentiment jealously covered
-by a hoarding on which are displayed advertisements of pills and other
-practical commodities. It is his one fear lest any one should discover
-this preposterous and hideous erection is not the real building.
-
-Dick's only comment on the above statement would probably be that I had
-mixed my metaphors or had exceeded at lunch. But he is shrewd enough
-to know in his heart that I have but spoken the truth, even though my
-metaphors were as heterogeneous as the ark of Noah. How else can you
-explain the astonishing contrast between those who write the songs of
-England and those whose industry enables them to recompense the singers?
-
-No doubt there is a noticeable difference between the poet and the
-people in every land and every race, but in England it is so staggering.
-The hair of the English poet is so very long, his eye so very frenzied,
-his voice so steeped in emotion, so buoyed by melody. Even his prose
-appeals to the heart rather than to the head. Thackeray weeps as he
-writes of good women; Scott blushes as he writes of bad. No one is
-cynical but the villains. The heroines are all pure as the best cocoa.
-
-Then look at the check suits and the stony eyes of Mr. Cook's protégées.
-Do they understand what Tennyson has written for them? If not, why do
-they pay for it?
-
-John Bull and John Milton; William Bull and William Shakespeare; Lord
-Bull and Lord Byron; Charles Bull and Charles Dickens; how are these
-couples related? By this religious, moral, sentimental stream; welling
-in one, hidden in another under ten tons of shyness and roast beef; a
-torrent here, a trickle there, sometimes almost dry in a dusty season.
-That is how.
-
-Does Dick again recommend teetotalism as a cure for these speculations?
-Come with me to your rooms, my friend, and let us glance through your
-library.
-
-I take up a volume of Shakespeare and find it contains the sonnets.
-
-“Ah, Shakespeare's sonnets,” I say, with an air of patronage towards
-that eminent poet. “You know them?”
-
-“Used to know 'em a little.” He is giving me another taste of that
-characteristic British stare. Evidently he is offended by my tone, and
-will fall an easy victim to my next move.
-
-“They are much overrated,” I say, putting the book away.
-
-“You should write to the _Times_ about it,” he replies, sarcastically,
-and then adds, with conviction, “They are about the finest things in
-English.”
-
-“Yet no Englishman reads them,” I remark, lightly.
-
-“I used to know half a dozen of 'em by heart,” he retorts.
-
-Half a dozen of those miracles of sensuous diction off by heart! Prosaic
-Briton! I do not say this aloud, but take next the songs of Kipling,
-and profess not to understand one of them. To convince me it is not mere
-nonsense, he reads and expounds.
-
-He has been round the world, and shot wild beasts on the veldt and in
-the jungle, and can explain allusions and share exotic sentiments.
-
-Is this man mere plum-pudding and international perfidy, who feels thus
-the glamour of the song?
-
-“Ah, here is a novel of Zola!” I exclaim. “You enjoy him, of course?”
-
-“A filthy brute,” says Dick. “I read half of that, and I am keeping it
-now for shaving-papers.”
-
-There is perhaps more strength of conviction than critical judgment in
-this comment. I might retort that all the water in the world neither has
-been passed through a filter nor foams over a fall, and that the pond
-and the gutter have their purpose in the world. I do not make this
-reply, however; I merely note that a strong sentiment must underlie a
-strong prejudice.
-
-As you will perhaps have gathered, my good Dick had his limitations.
-He could be sympathetic; if, for instance, he were to see me insulted,
-beaten, robbed of my purse and my mistress, and blinded in one eye, he
-would, I am sure, feel for me deeply, and show himself most tactful in
-his consolation. But it would require some such well-marked instance to
-open the gates of his heart; and in minor matters I should not dream
-of applying to him, unless, indeed, it was a practical service he could
-perform.
-
-He himself had held his peace and confided in no one when his fair
-cousin married the wealthy manufacturer of soda-water, and his heart had
-long since healed. In the days of his wild oats, when duns were knocking
-at his door, he had retired from St. James Street to a modest apartment
-in the Temple, sold such of his effects as were marketable, and
-philosophically sought a cheap restaurant and a coarser tobacco. His
-debts were now paid and all was well again. When he did not get the
-degree he was expected to at Oxford, he may have said “damn,” but I
-doubt if he enlarged on this observation. What did that disappointment
-matter to-day? Then why should other people make a fuss if they were
-hurt?
-
-Yet his heart was as a child's if you could extract it from its
-wrappings of tin-foil and brown paper, and I am happy I knew him long
-enough to see him “play the fool,” as he would term it.
-
-On that first afternoon of our acquaintance I found him courteous before
-lunch, genial after (I took care to “make him proud.” as the English
-say). I was perfectly frank; told him my true name, the plot that had
-miscarried, my flight to England--everything.
-
-“I am not Bunyan, I am not even Cellarini, but merely Augustine
-d'Haricot, eternally at your service,” I said. “You have saved me from
-prison, perhaps from the scaffold.”
-
-He laughed.
-
-“It wouldn't have been as bad as that, but I'm glad to have been of any
-use.”
-
-And then changing the subject, as an Englishman does when complimented
-(for they hold that either you lie and are a knave, or tell the truth
-and are a fool), he asked:
-
-“What are you going to do now?”
-
-“That depends upon your advice,” I replied. “What is my danger? How wise
-is it to move freely in this country?”
-
-“There is no danger at all if it is only a political offence,” he
-answered. “Unless you've been picking pockets, or anything else as
-well.”
-
-I answered him I had not, and he promised to inquire into the case and
-give me a full assurance on the next morning.
-
-“And now,” I said, “tell me, my friend, how to live as an Englishman. I
-do not mean to adopt the English mind, the English sentiment, but only
-to move in your world, so long as I must live in it. I want to see, I
-want to hear, I want to record my impressions and my adventures. As the
-time is not ripe to wield the sword, I shall wield the eyes and the pen.
-Also, I shall doubtless fall in love, and I should like to hunt a fox
-and shoot a pheasant.”
-
-We laughed together at this programme; in brief, we made a good
-beginning.
-
-That afternoon we set out together to look for suitable apartments for
-myself, and by a happy chance we had hardly gone a hundred paces before
-we spied a gentleman approaching us whom Shafthead declared to be a
-veritable authority on London life; also a cousin of his own.
-
-“But will he not be busy?” I inquired.
-
-“Young devil,” answered Shafthead, “it will serve to keep him out of
-mischief for an hour or two.”
-
-Thereupon I was presented to Mr. Teddy Lumme, a young gentleman of
-small stature, with a small, cheerful, clean-shaven, dark face, and a
-large hat that sloped backward and sideways towards a large collar. His
-elbows moved as though he were driving a cab; his boots shone brightly
-enough to serve for mirrors; his morning-coat was cut in imitation of
-the “pink” of a huntsman; a large mass of variegated silk was fastened
-beneath his collar by a neat pearl pin; in a word, he belonged to a type
-that is universal, yet this specimen was unmistakably English. In age I
-learned afterwards that he was just twenty-five, emancipated for little
-more than a year from the University of Oxford, and still enjoying the
-relief from the rigorous rules of that institution. No accusation
-of reticence to be made against Mr. Lumme! He talked all the time,
-cheerfully and artlessly.
-
-“You want rooms?” he said. “Quelle chose? I mean, don't you know, what
-kind? I don't know much French, I'm afraid. Oh, you talk English?
-Devilish glad to hear it. I say, Dick, you remember that girl I told you
-of? Well, it's just as I said. I knew, damn it all. What do you want to
-give?” (This to me.) “You don't care much? That simplifies matters.”
-
-In this strain Mr. Lumme entertained us on our way, Shafthead regarding
-him with a half-amused, half-sardonic grin, of which his relative
-seemed entirely oblivious, while I enjoyed myself amazingly. I felt like
-Captain Cook on the gallant _Marchand_ palavering with the chiefs of
-some equatorial state.
-
-“I demand a cold bath and an English servant,” I said. “Anything else
-characteristic you can add, but those are essential.”
-
-[Illustration: 8070]
-
-I do not know whether Lumme quite understood this to be a jest. He took
-me to three sets of apartments, and at each asked first to be shown the
-bathroom, and then the servant, after which he inquired the price, and
-whether a tenant was at liberty to introduce any guest at any hour.
-
-Finally, to end the story of that day, which began in jail and ended
-so merrily, I found myself the tenant of a highly comfortable set of
-apartments, with everything but the valet supplied at an astonishingly
-high price.
-
-“However,” I said to myself, “it may be expensive, but it is better than
-ten years' transportation for burgling Fisher!”
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter VII
-
-
-“_Little, cheerful, and honest--do you not know the species?_”
-
---Kovaleffski.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9072]
-
-HAD left my hotel and settled in my apartments; the labels with “Nelson
-Bunyan” were removed from my luggage; I had been assured that so long as
-I remained on English soil I was safe. Next thing I must find a servant;
-one who should “know the ropes” of an English life. Lumme had promised
-to make inquiries for me, and I had impressed upon him that the
-following things were essential--in fact, I declared that without them I
-should never entertain an application for one instant. First, he must
-be of such an appearance as would do me credit, whether equipped in the
-livery I had already designed for him, in the cast-off suits I should
-provide him with, or in the guise of an attendant at the chase or upon
-the moors. Then, that he must be honest enough to trust in the room with
-a handful of mixed change, sober enough to leave alone with a decanter,
-discerning enough to arrange an odd lot of sixteen boots into eight
-pairs, cleanly enough to pack collars without soiling them. Finally,
-he must be polite, obliging, industrious, discreet, and, if possible,
-a little religious--not sufficiently so to criticise my conduct, but
-enough to regulate his own.
-
-I wrote this list down and handed it to the obliging Teddy.
-
-“You will procure him by this afternoon?” I said.
-
-“I know a man who keeps a Methodist footman in his separate
-establishment,” answered Lumme, after a moment's reflection. “That's the
-kind of article you require, I suppose. If you get 'em too moral there's
-apt to be a screw loose somewhere, and if you get 'em the other way the
-spoons go. Well, I can't promise, but I'll do my best.”
-
-So this amiable young man departed, and I, to pass the time, walked into
-Piccadilly, and there took my seat once more upon the top of an omnibus
-to enjoy the sunshine, and be for a time a spectator of the life in the
-streets. To obtain a better view I sat down on the front bench close to
-the driver's elbow, and we had not gone very far before this individual
-turned to me and remarked with a cordiality that pleased me infinitely,
-and a perspicacity that astonished me:
-
-“Been long in London, sir?”
-
-“You perceive that I am a stranger, then?” I asked.
-
-“Well,” said the man, as he cracked his whip and drove his lumbering
-coach straight at an orifice between two cabs just wide enough, it
-seemed to me, for a wheelbarrow, “I'm a observer, I am. When I sees that
-speckled tie droopin' from a collar of unknown horigin, and them rum
-kind of boots, I says to myself a Rooshian, for 'alf a sovereign. Come
-from Rooshia, sir?”
-
-The man's naïveté delighted me.
-
-“I belong to an allied power,” I replied, wondering if his powers of
-observation would enable him to decide my nationality now.
-
-He seemed to debate the question as, with an apropos greeting to each
-cabman, his 'bus bumped them to the side and sailed down the middle of
-the street.
-
-“Native o' Manchuria, perhaps?” he hazarded.
-
-“Not quite; try again.”
-
-“Siberia?” he suggested next.
-
-Seeing that either his imagination or my appearance confined his
-speculations to Asia, I told him forthwith that I was French.
-
-“French?” he said. “Well, now I'm surprised to 'ear it, sir. If you'll
-excuse me saying so, you don't look like no Frenchman.”
-
-“Why not?” I asked.
-
-“I always thought they was little chaps, no bigger than a monkey. Why,
-you're quite as tall as most Englishmen.”
-
-Considering that my friend could not possibly have measured more than
-five feet, two inches, and that I am five feet, nine inches, in my
-socks, I was highly diverted by this.
-
-“Have you seen many Frenchmen?” I asked him. “I knew one once,” he
-replied, after a minute or two's thought, and a brief interruption to
-invite some ladies on the pavement to enter his 'bus. “'E was a waiter
-at the Bull's 'Ead, 'Ighbury. I drove a 'bus that way then, and there
-was a young lady served in the bar 'im and me was both sweet on. Nasty,
-greasy little man 'e was--meaning no reflection on you, sir. They
-couldn't make out where the fresh butter went, and when 'e left--which
-'e 'ad to for kissing the missis when she wasn't 'erself, 'aving 'ad a
-drop more than 'er usual--do you know what they found, sir?”
-
-I confessed my inability to guess this secret. “Why, 'e'd put it all on
-'is beastly 'air, two pounds a week, sir, of the very best fresh butter
-in 'Ighbury. Perhaps, sir, I've been prejudiced against Frenchmen in
-consequence.”
-
-I admitted that he had every excuse, and asked him whether my buttered
-compatriot had won the maiden's affections in addition to his other
-offences.
-
-“No, sir,” said he, “I'm 'appy to say she 'ad more sense. More sense
-than to take either of us,” he added, with a deep sigh, and then, as if
-to quench melancholy reflections, hailed another driver who was passing
-us in the most hilarious fashion.
-
-“'Old your 'at on, ole man!” he shouted. “Them opera-'ats is getting
-scarce, you know!”
-
-[Illustration: 8076]
-
-The other driver, a bottle-nosed man, redeemed only from unusual
-shabbiness by the head-gear in question, winked, leered, and made some
-reply about “not 'aving such a fat head underneath it as some people.”
-
-My friend turned to me with a confidential air. “You saw that gentleman
-as I addressed?” he said, in an impressive voice. “Well, that man was
-driving 'is own kerridge not five years ago. On the Stock Exchange 'e
-was, and worth ten thousand a year if 'e was worth a penny; 'ouse in
-Park Lane, and married to the daughter of a baronite. 'E's told me all
-that 'isself, so it's true and no 'umbug.
-
-“'Ow did 'e lose 'is money? Hunfortunit speculations and consols goin'
-down; but you, being a furriner, won't likely understand.”
-
-Looking as unsophisticated as possible, I pressed my friend for an
-explanation of these mysteries.
-
-[Illustration: 9077]
-
-“Well,” said he, “it's something like this: If you goes on the Stock
-Exchange you buys what they calls consols--that's stocks and shares
-of various sorts and kinds, but principally mines in Australia, and
-inventions for to make things different from what they is at present.
-That's what's called makin' a corner, which ain't a corner exactly in
-the usual sense--not as used in England, that's to say, but a kind o'
-American variety.
-
-“What, O Bill! Bloomin', thank you. 'Ow's yourself?” (This to another
-driver passed upon the road.)
-
-“As I was savin', sir, this 'ere pore friend o' mine speculated in
-consols, and prices being what they calls up, and then shiftin',
-he loses and the bank wins. Inside o' twenty-four hours that there
-gentleman was changed from one of the richest men in the city into a
-pore cove a-looking out for a job like you and me.”
-
-“And he chose driving an omnibus?” I asked. “'Adn't got no choice.
-He was too much of a gentleman to sink to a ordinary perfession, and
-drivin' a pair o' 'orses seems to 'im more in keepin' with 'is position
-than drivin' one 'orse in a cab, which was the only thing left.”
-
-He paused, and then shaking his head with an air of sentiment,
-continued:
-
-“Wunderful 'ow sensitive he is, sir. He wouldn't part with that there
-hopera-'at, not if you give him five 'undred pounds; yet he can't a-bear
-to 'ear it chipped, not except in a kind o' delicate way, same as I did
-just now. You 'eard me, sir? 'Hop-era-'ats is scarce,' says I; but
-I dursn't sail closer to the wind nor that. 'E'd say, “Old your jaw,
-Halfred,' or words to that effec', quick enough. Comes o' being bred too
-fine for the job, I tells 'im often; I says it to 'im straight, sir.'
-Comes o' being bred too fine for the job,' says I.”
-
-At this point my friend's attention was called from the romantic history
-of his fellow-driver to the exigencies of their common profession, and
-I had an opportunity of studying more attentively this entertaining
-specimen of the cockney.
-
-He was, as I have said, a very short man, from thirty to thirty-five
-years of age, I judged, redcheeked and snub-nosed, with a bright,
-cheerful eye, and the most friendly and patronizing manner. Yet he was
-perfectly respectful and civil, despite his knowledge of my unfortunate
-nationality. In fact, it seemed his object to place me as far as
-possible at my ease, and enable me to forget for a space the blot upon
-my origin.
-
-“There's some quite clever Frenchmen, I' ve 'eard tell,” he said,
-presently. “That there 'idro-phobia man--and Napoleon Bonyparty, in his
-way, too, I suppose, though we don't think so much of 'im over 'ere.”
-
-“I am sorry to hear that, I said.
-
-“Well, sir,” he explained, “we believes in a man 'aving his fair share of
-what's goin'. Like as if me and a friend goes inter a public 'ouse, and
-another gentleman he comes in and he says, 'What's it going to be this
-time?' or, 'Name your gargle, gents,' or words to some such effec'; and
-we says, 'Right you are, old man,' and 'as a drink at his expense.
-Now it wouldn't be fair if I says to the young lady, 'I'll 'ave a 'ole
-bottle of Scotch whiskey, miss, and what I can't drink I'll take 'ome in
-a noospaper,' and I leaves 'im to pay for all that; would it, sir? Well,
-that's what Bonyparty done; 'e tried to get more nor his share o' what
-was goin' in Europe. Not that it affec's us much, we being able to take
-care of ourselves, but we don't like to see it, sir. That's 'ow it is.”
-
-All this time we had been going eastward into the city of London, and
-now we were arrived at the most extraordinary scene of confusion you
-can possibly imagine. I should be afraid to say how many 'buses and cabs
-were struggling and surging in a small open space at the junction of
-several streets. Foot-passengers in hundreds bustled along the pavements
-or dodged between the horses, and, immobile in the midst of it, the
-inevitable policeman appeared actually to be sifting this mob according
-to some mysterious scheme.
-
-“Cheer-O,” cried my friend upon the box. “'Ow's the price o' lime-juice
-this morning?
-
-“That there's wot we calls the Bank, sir, where the Queen keeps 'er
-money, and the Rothschilds and the like o' them; guarded by seven
-'undred of the flower o' the British army, it is, the hofficer bein'
-hinvariably a millionaire hisself, in case he's tempted to steal. Garn
-yerself and git yer face syringed with a fire-'ose. You can't clean it
-no 'ow else. The 'andsome hedifice to your right, sir, is the Mansion
-'Ouse; not the station of that name, but the 'ome of the Lord Mayor;
-kind o' governor of the city, 'e is; 'as a hextraordinary show of
-'is own on taking the hoath of hofflce; people comes all the way from
-Halgiers and San Francisco to see it; camels and 'orses got up like
-chargers of the holden time, and men disguised so as their own girls
-wouldn't know 'em. Representing harts, hindustries, and hempire, that's
-their game. Pleeceman, them there bloomin' whiskers of yours will get
-mowed off by a four-wheel cab some day, and then 'ow'll you look? Too
-bloomin' funny, am I? More'n them whiskers is, hinterfering with the
-traffic like that.”
-
-“Yes, sir, we 'as a rest 'ere for a few minutes; we ain't near at the
-end yet, though.”
-
-[Illustration: 9081]
-
-I shall leave it to your judgment to guess which of these remarks were
-addressed to me and which to various of his countrymen in this vortex
-of wheels and human beings. For a few minutes he now sat at ease in a
-quieter street (though, my faith! no street in this city of London but
-would seem busy in most towns), apparently deliberating what topic
-to enter upon next. I say apparently deliberating, but on further
-acquaintance with my good “Halfred,” as he called himself (the aspirated
-form of “Alfred” used by the cockney Alfred being the name of England's
-famous monarch), I came to the conclusion that his mind never was known
-to go through any such process. What came first into his head flew
-straight to his tongue, till by constant use that organ had got into a
-state of unstable equilibrium, like the tongue of a toy mandarin, that
-oscillates for five minutes if you move him ever so gently.
-
-In a word, Halfred was an inveterate chatterbox.
-
-Even had I been that very compatriot of mine who had so deeply, and,
-I could not but admit, so justly, roused his ire, he would, I am sure,
-have chattered just as hard.
-
-By the time we were under way again and threading the eastern alleys of
-the city--for they are called streets only by courtesy--his tongue had
-started too, and he was talking just as hard as ever. Now, however, his
-conversation took a more reminiscent and a more personal turn, and this
-led to such sweeping consequences that I shall keep the last half of our
-journey together for a separate chapter.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter VIII
-
-
-“_Your valet? Pardon; I thought he had come to measure the gas!_”
-
---Hercule d'Enville.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9083]
-
-UT of the limits of this city of Lon-don we drove into the beginnings of
-the east. Not the Orient of the poet and the traveller, the land of the
-thousand-and-one nights, but the miles and miles of brick where some
-millions of Londoners pass an existence that ages me to think of.
-Picture to yourself a life more desolate of joys than the Arctic, more
-crowded with fellow-animals than any ant-heap, uglier than the Great
-Desert, as poor and as diseased as Job. Not even the wealthy there to
-gossip about and gape at, no great house to envy and admire, no glitter
-anywhere to distract, except in the music-halls of an evening. Yet they
-work on and do not hang themselves--poor devils!
-
-But I grow serious where I had set out to be gay, and thoughtful when
-you are asking for a somersault. Worse still, I am solemn, sitting at
-the elbow of my cheerful Halfred.
-
-That genial driver of the omnibus was not one whit depressed upon coming
-into this region, nor, to tell the truth, was I that morning, for I
-could not see the backward parts, but only the wide main road, very
-airy after the lanes of the city, and crowded with quite a different
-population. No longer the business-man with shining hat, hands in
-pockets, quick step, and anxious face; no longer the well-dressed woman
-hurrying likewise through the throng; no longer the jingling hansom;
-but, instead, the compatriot of the prophets, the costermonger with
-his barrow, the residue of Hungary and Poland, the pipe of the British
-workman. Wains of hay in the midst of the road, drays and lorries, and
-an occasional omnibus jolting at the sides; to be sure there was life
-enough to look at.
-
-As for my friend, his talk began to turn more upon his own private
-affairs. Apparently there was less around to catch his attention, and,
-as I have said, he had to talk, and so spoke of himself. As I sat on
-the top of that 'bus listening with continuous amusement to his candid
-reminiscences and naïve philosophy, I studied him more attentively than
-ever, for, as you shall presently hear, I had more reason. His dress,
-I noticed, was neat beyond the average of drivers; a coat of box-cloth,
-once light yellow, now of various shades, but still quite respectable; a
-felt hat with a flat top, glazed to throw off the rain; a colored scarf
-around his neck, whether concealing a collar or not I could not say;
-and something round his knees that might once have been a rug or a
-horse-cloth, or even a piece of carpet.
-
-“Yus,” said Halfred, meditatively, as he cracked his whip and urged his
-'bus at headlong speed through a space in the traffic, “it's some rum
-changes o' luck I've 'ad in my day.
-
-[Illustration: 9085]
-
-My father he give me a surprisin' good eddication for a hembyro
-'bus-driver, meaning me to go into the stevedore business in Lime-'ousc
-basin, same as 'e was 'imself, but my 'ead got swelled a-talkin' to a
-most superior policeman what 'ad come down in the world, and nothing
-would sat-ersfy me but mixin' in 'igh life. So our rector 'e gives me a
-introduction to a bloomin' aunt o' his in the country what wanted a
-boy in buttons, and into buttons I goes, and I says to myself, says I,
-'Halfred, you're goin' to be a credit to your fam'ly, you are'; that's
-what I says. Blimy, I often larf now a-thinkin' of it!”
-
-He paused to blow his nose in a primitive but effective fashion,
-and smiled gently to himself at these recollections of his youthful
-optimism.
-
-“How long did you remain in these buttons?” I asked him.
-
-“Till I outgrowed them,” said Halfred.
-
-“And after that?”
-
-“I was servant to a gentleman what hadvertised for a honest young man,
-hexperience bein' no hobject.”
-
-I asked him how he liked that.
-
-“I was comfertable enough; that I can't deny,” said Halfred.
-
-“And why, then, did you leave?”
-
-“The heverlastin' reason w'y I does most foolish things, sir. My 'eart
-is too suscepterble, and the ladies'-maid was too captivatin'. She
-wouldn't 'ave nothin' to do with me, so I chucks the 'ole thing up, and,
-says I, 'I'll be hinderpendent, I will.' 'Ence I'm a-drivin' a 'bus.”
-
-“Are you happy now?” I inquired.
-
-“Well,” said he, candidly, “I couldn't say as I was exactly '_umped_;
-but it ain't all bottled beer sittin' in this bloomin' arm-chair with
-your whiskers froze stiff, and the 'orses' ears out o' sight in the
-fog. And there ain't much variety in it, nor much chance of becomin' a
-millionaire. Hoften and hoften I thinks to myself, 'What O for a pair
-o' trousers to fold, and a good fire in the servants' 'all, and
-hinderpendence be blowed!'”
-
-[Illustration: 9087]
-
-I think it was at this moment that an inspiration came into my head. It
-was rash, you will doubtless think.
-
-“I 'ope so, sir,” said he, with becoming modesty and evident surprise.
-
-“And now you are experienced?”
-
-“Well, sir,” he said, “you've 'ad threepence worth o' this 'ere 'bus,
-and you 'aven't seed me scrape off no paint yet.”
-
-“But, I mean, you are experienced in folding trousers, in packing
-shirts, in varnishing boots, in all the niceties of your old profession,
-are you not? You would do credit to a gentleman if he should engage
-you?”
-
-It was certainly sudden, but then, as perhaps you have discovered ere
-now, I am not the most prudent of men. This little, cheerful Halfred had
-taken my fancy enormously, and my heart was warmed towards him.
-
-“Halfred,” I asked, abruptly, “are you still an honest young man?”
-
-Halfred looked at me sharply, with a true cockney's suspicion of what he
-feared might be “chaff.”
-
-“You ain't a-pulling my leg, sir?” he inquired, guardedly.
-
-“On the contrary, I am taking your hand as an honest and experienced
-valet, Halfred.”
-
-“You knows of a gentleman as wants one?” said he.
-
-“I do,” I answered, with conviction.
-
-“It ain't yourself, sir?”
-
-“It is,” said I.
-
-“Blimy!” exclaimed Halfred, in an audible aside.
-
-“What about references?” said he.
-
-“Oh, references; yes, I suppose you had better have some references,” I
-replied, though, to tell the truth, I had not thought of them before.
-
-He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand and screwed his rosy face
-into a deliberative expression, while his eyes twinkled cheerfully.
-
-“I don't mind 'aving a go at the job,” he remarked, after a couple of
-minutes' reflection.
-
-“Apply this evening,” I said. “Bring a reference if you have one, and I
-shall engage you, Halfred!”
-
-For the rest of our journey together his gratitude and pleasure, his
-curiosity, and his qualms as to how much he remembered and how much he
-had forgotten of a man-servant's duties, delighted me still further, and
-made me congratulate myself upon my discrimination and judgment.
-
-We parted company among the docks and shipping of the very far east of
-London, and after rambling for a time by the busy wharves and breezy
-harbor basins, and, marvelling again at the vastness and variety of this
-city, I mounted another omnibus and drove back to my rooms.
-
-“A man to see you, sir,” said the maid.
-
-Could it be Halfred, already? No, it was a very different individual;
-a tall and stately man, with a prim mouth and an eye of unfathomable
-discretion. He stood in an attitude denoting at once respect for me and
-esteem for himself, and followed me to my room upon a gently creaking
-boot.
-
-“Well,” said I, at a loss to know whether he came to collect a tax or
-induce me to order a coffin, “what can I do for you?”
-
-“Mr. Lumme, sir,” said he, in a mincing voice, “has informed me that
-you was requiring a manservant. Enclosed you will find Air. Lumme's
-recommendation.”
-
-He handed me a letter which ran as follows:
-
-_Dear Monsieur,--I have found the very man you want. He was valet to
-Lord Pluckham for five years, and could not have learned more from any
-one. Pluck-ham was very particular as to dress, and had many affairs
-requiring a discreet servant. He only left when P. went bankrupt, and
-has had excellent experience since. Been witness in two divorce cases,
-and is highly recommended by all; also a primitive Wesleyan by religion,
-and well educated. You cannot find a better man in London, nor as good,
-I assure you. His name is John Mingle. Don't lose this chance. I have
-had some trouble, but am glad to have found the very article._
-
-_“Yours truly,_
-
-_“Edward Lumme._”
-
-This was a pretty dilemma! The industrious and obliging Lumme had
-found one jewel, and in the meanwhile I had engaged another. I felt so
-ungrateful and guilty that I was ashamed to let my good Teddy discover
-what I had done. So instead of telling Mr. Mingle at once that the place
-was filled, I resolved to find him deficient in some important point,
-and decline to engage him on these grounds. Easier said than done.
-
-“Your experience has been wide?” I asked, looking critical and feeling
-foolish.
-
-“If I may say so, sir, it has,” said he, glancing down modestly at the
-hat he held in his hands.
-
-“You can iron a hat?” I inquired, casting round in my mind for some task
-too heavy for this Hercules.
-
-He smiled with, I thought, a little pity.
-
-“Oh, certingly, sir.”
-
-“Can you cook?”
-
-“I have hitherto stayed at houses where separate cooks was kept,” said
-he; “but if we should happen to be a-camping out in Norway, sir, there
-isn't nothing but French pastry I won't be happy to oblige with--on a
-occasion, that's to say, sir.”
-
-Not only were Mr. Alingle's accomplishments comprehensive, but he
-evidently looked upon himself as already engaged by me. Internally
-cursing his impudence, I asked next if he could sew.
-
-“At a pinch, sir,” said he. “That is,” he added, correcting this vulgar
-expression, “if the maids is indisposed, or like as if we was on board
-your yacht, sir, and there was no hother alternative.”
-
-“We” again--and it seemed Mr. Alingle expected me to keep a yacht!
-
-Could he load and clean a gun, saddle a horse, ride a bicycle, oil a
-motor-car, read a cipher, and manage a camera? Yes; in the absence of
-the various officials which “our” establishment maintained for these
-purposes, Mr. Mlingle would be able and willing to oblige.
-
-Moreover, he talked with a beautiful accent, and only very occasionally
-misused an aspirate; and there could be no doubt he would make an
-impressive appearance in any livery I could design. Even as a Pierrot
-he would have looked dignified. On what pretext could I reject this
-paragon?
-
-“Can you drive an omnibus?” I demanded, at last, with a flash of genius.
-
-This time Mr. Alingle looked fairly disconcerted.
-
-“_Drive a homnibus!_” said he. “No, sir; my position and prospec's have
-always been such that I am happy to say I have never had the opportunity
-of practising.”
-
-[Illustration: 9092]
-
-I shook my head.
-
-“I am afraid,” I said, “that you won't suit me, Mingle. It is my
-amusement to keep a private omnibus.”
-
-“Oh, private,” said Mr. Mingle, as though that might make a difference.
-
-But quickly I added:
-
-“It is painted and upholstered just like the others. In fact, I buy
-them secondhand when beyond repair. Also I take poor people from the
-work-house for a drive. And you must drive it in all weathers.”
-
-That was the end of Mr. Mingle. In fact, I think he was glad to find
-himself safely out of my room again, and what he thought of my tastes,
-and even of my sanity, I think I can guess.
-
-That evening my friend Halfred appeared, bringing a testimonial to his
-honesty and sobriety from the proprietor of the stables, and a brief
-line of eulogy from the official who collected the pence and supplied
-the tickets upon his own “bus. This last certificate ran thus--I give it
-exactly as it stood:
-
-“_certtifieing alfred Winkes is I of The best obligging and You will
-find him kind to animils yours Sinseerly P. Widdup_.”
-
-As Halfred explained to me, this was entirely unsolicited, and Mr.
-Widdup, he was sure, would feel hurt if he learned that it had not been
-presented.
-
-“You can tell him,” I said, “that it has secured the situation for you.”
-
-I had just told him that I should expect him to begin his duties upon
-the following morning, and he was inspecting my apartment with an air of
-great interest and satisfaction, when there came a knock upon the door,
-and in walked Sir. Teddy Lumme himself. He was in evening-dress, covered
-by the most recent design in top-coats and the most spotless of white
-scarfs. On his head he wore a large opera-hat, tilted at the same angle,
-and on his feet small and shiny boots.
-
-“Hullo,” said he. “Sorry; am I interrupting? Came to see if you'd booked
-Mingle. I suppose you have.'”
-
-“A thousand thanks, my friend, for your trouble.”
-
-I replied, with an earnestness proportionate to my feeling of
-compunction. “Mingle was, indeed, admirable--exquisite. In fact, he was
-perfect in every respect save one.”
-
-“What's that?” said Teddy, looking a little surprised.
-
-“He could not drive an omnibus.”
-
-I am afraid my friend Teddy thought that I was joking. He certainly
-seemed to have difficulty in finding a reply to this. Then an
-explanation struck him.
-
-“You mean what we call a coach,” he suggested. “Thing with four horses
-and a toot-toot-toot business--post-horn, we call it. What?”
-
-“I mean an omnibus,” I replied. “The elegant, the fascinating, British
-'bus. And here I have found a man who can drive me. This is my new
-servant, Halfred Winkles.”
-
-Lumme stared at him, as well he might, for my Halfred cut a very
-different figure from the grave, polished, quietly attired Mingle. To
-produce the very best impression possible, he had dressed himself in a
-suit of conspicuously checkered cloth, very tight in the leg and wide
-at the foot, and surmounted by a very bright-blue scarf tightly knotted
-round his neck. In his button-hole was an artificial tulip, in his
-pocket a wonderful red-and-yellow handkerchief. His ruddy face shone so
-brightly that I shrewdly suspected his friend Wid-dup had scrubbed it
-with a handful of straw, and he held in his hand, pressed against his
-breast, the same shining waterproof hat beneath which he drove the 'bus.
-
-“Left your last place long?” asked Lumme, of this apparition.
-
-“Gave 'em notice this arternoon, sir,” said Halfred.
-
-“Who were you with?”
-
-[Illustration: 9095]
-
-“London General,” replied Halfred.
-
-“I hope you'll turn out all right, and do my friend, the monsieur here,
-credit.”
-
-As he turned to go he added to me, aside:
-
-“Rum-looking chap, he seems to me. Keep an eye on him, I'd advise
-you. Personally, I'd have chosen Mingle, but o' course you know best.
-Good-night.”
-
-And I was left with the faithful Halfred.
-
-“A London general?” said Teddy. “Sounds all right. He gave you a good
-character, I sup----”
-
-I interposed.
-
-“Well,” said Lumme, dubiously,
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter IX
-
-
-“_I often envy the snail. Mon Dieu, think of at ways travelling beneath
-the comfortable roof of one's own house!_”
-
---Maxime Argon.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9096]
-
-ND now I must tell you something about my rooms, the little ledge in
-London in which I rested, and flapped my wings and preened my feathers.
-The door of the house rented by Mr. and Mrs. Titch, and disposed of
-piece-meal to unmarried gentlemen, looked upon a very tiny square
-opening off a busy street. But my two chambers were at the back, and
-from their windows I saw nothing of square or street, or any house at
-all. The green Hyde Park with its trees and grass, and the wide drive
-where carriages and people aired themselves and lingered, that was what
-I saw; and often I could fancy myself in the woods and the gardens about
-a certain house in another land, and then I would shut my eyes and let
-the picture grow and grow, till I could hear known voices and look upon
-old faces that perhaps I should never again hear or see in any other
-fashion. Yes, the exile may be very gay, and jingle the foreign coins
-in his pocket, and whistle the airs of alien songs, and afterwards write
-humorously of his adventures; but there are many moments when he and the
-canary in the cage are very near together.
-
-For myself, I am best, my friends say, when I am laughing at the world
-and playing somewhat the buffoon. And, of course, I am naturally anxious
-to appear at my best. Besides, I must confess that I do not think this
-world is an affair to be treated with a too great gravity; not, at
-least, if one can help it. Frequently it makes itself ridiculous even in
-the partial eyes of its own inhabitants. How much more frequently if one
-could sit outside--upon a passing shower, for instance--and see it as we
-look upon a play? Ten to one, some of our most sententious friends would
-seem no different from those amusing sparrows discussing the law of
-property in a bread-crumb, or from my dog playing the solemn comedy of
-the buried bone. Therefore I always think it safer to assume that there
-is some unseen cynic, some creature in the fourth dimension, looking
-over my shoulder as I write, and exclaiming, when I grow too sensible,
-“Oh, the wise fool!”
-
-Yet for all this excellent philosophy, and in spite of a most reasonable
-desire to say those things that are instantly rewarded by a smile,
-rather than those an audience receives in silence, and perhaps approves,
-perhaps condemns--despite all this, the rubbing of the world upon a set
-of nerves does not always make one merry; and in that humor I should
-sometimes like to perpetrate a serious sentence. If ever I succumb to
-this temptation of the writer's devil, please turn the page and do not
-linger over the indiscretion.
-
-Therefore I shall pass quickly over the thin ice of sentiment, the days
-when I felt lonely on my comfortable ledge, the hours I spent looking at
-the fire. More amusing to tell you of the bright lining to my clouds;
-of the sitting-room, for instance, low in the ceiling, commodious, and
-shaped, I think, to fit the chimneys or the stairs or the water-butt
-outside; at any rate, to suit something that required two unequal
-recesses and three non-rectangular corners. It was on the ground-floor,
-and had two French windows (of which the adjective cheered me, I think,
-as much as the noun). These opened upon a little, stone-paved space,
-shaded by a high tree in the park, and which I called my garden.
-
-Rejecting some articles of my landlord's furniture as too splendid
-for an untitled tenant--a plush-covered settee, for instance, and
-an alabaster tea-table, adorned with cut-glass trophies from the
-drawing-room of a bankrupt alderman--I replaced them by a bookcase,
-three easy-chairs, and an inviting sofa of my own; I bought substitutes
-for the engravings of “The Child's First Prayer” and “The Last Kiss,”
- and the colored plates representing idyllic passages from the lives of
-honest artisans, which had regaled my predecessor; I recurtained the
-dear French windows.
-
-Neither Mr. Titch nor his good wife entirely approved of these changes.
-In fact, I suspect they would have given such a Goth notice to quit in
-a month had it not been for the reflection that, after all, such
-eccentricities were only to be expected of a foreigner. The English
-have a most amusing contempt for the rest of mankind, accompanied by
-an equally amusing toleration for the peculiarities that are naturaly
-associated with such degenerates. The Chinese, I understand, have an
-equal national modesty, but their contempt for the foreigner finds
-expression in a desire to decapitate his mangled remains. John Bull,
-on the other hand, will not only allow but expect you to walk upon your
-head, eat rats and mice, maintain a staff of poisonous serpents, and
-even play the barrel-organ. This goes to such a length that supposing
-you beat him at something he most prides himself upon, such as rowing,
-boxing, or manufactures, he will but smile and shake his head and say,
-“These are, indeed, most remarkable animals.”
-
-Mr. and Mrs. Titch were no exceptions to this rule, and I think that
-in time they even came to have an affection for and a pride in their
-preposterous tenant, much like an enthusiastic savant who handicaps
-himself with a half-tamed cobra.
-
-Mr. Titch was a little, gray-haired man, with a respectful manner
-overlaid upon a consequential air. He had enjoyed varied experience as
-footman and butler in several families of distinction, and my Halfred
-had been but a short time in the house before he became tremendously
-impressed by Mr. Titch's reminiscences of the great, and his vast
-knowledge of Halfred's own profession.
-
-“Wonderful man, Mr. Titch, sir,” he would say to me. “What 'e don't
-know about our Henglish haristocracy ain't worth knowing. You'd 'ardly
-believe it, sir, but he seed the Dook of Balham puttin' his arm round
-Lady Sarah Elcey's waist three months before their engagement was in
-the papers, and the Dook 'e says to 'im, 'Titch,' says he, ''ere's a
-five-pun' note; you're a man of discretion, you are, and what you
-sees you keeps to yourself, don't you? I mean no 'arm,' he says. 'I'll
-hundertake to marry the lady if you only gives me time.' And Mr. Titch,
-he lay low three 'ole months a-knowing a secret like that.”
-
-Mr. Titch's caution and advice were certainly serviceable to Halfred,
-who was rapidly becoming transformed from the cheerful 'bus-driver into
-the obliging valet. Whether the world did not lose more than I gained
-by this change I shall not undertake to say; but I can always
-console myself for depriving society of a friend, and Halfred of his
-“hinderpendence,” by picturing the little man, poorly protected by his
-nondescript rug, driving his 'bus all day through the wind and the rain,
-he, at least, enjoyed the transformation; and one result is worth a
-hundred admirable theories. Besides, the virtues of Halfred remained the
-virtues of Halfred through all the polishings of circumstances and Mr.
-Titch.
-
-For the good Mrs. Titch, my discerning servant expressed a respect only
-a shade less profound than his homage to her spouse. Now this excellent
-lady, though motherly in appearance and wonderfully dignified in
-the black silk in which she rustled to church of a Sunday, was not
-remarkable either for acuteness of mind or that wide knowledge of the
-world enjoyed by Mr. Titch. She knew little of the aristocracy except
-through his reminiscences, though I am bound to say her respect for that
-august institution was as profound as Major Pendennis himself could have
-desired. Also her observations on that portion of the world she had met
-were distinguished by an erroneous and solemn foolishness that cannot
-have passed unnoticed by Halfred.
-
-Yet he quoted and reverenced her with an inexplicable lack of
-discrimination.
-
-“Mrs. Titch is what I calls, sir, a genuwine lady in a 'umble sphere,”
- he once remarked to me. “Her delicacy is surprisin'.”
-
-Yes, there must be some mysterious glamour about these worthy people,
-and this glamour I began to have dark suspicions was none other than
-Miss Aramatilda Titch, daughter of the ex-butler and his genuine lady.
-
-At first I saw this maiden seldom, and then only by glimpses. As
-more than one of these revealed her in curl-papers, and as I do not
-appreciate woman thus decked out, I paid her but little attention. But
-after a week or two had passed I surprised her one afternoon conversing
-in my sitting-room with the affable Halfred.
-
-“Miss Titch is a-lookin' to see if the windows want cleaning,” he
-explained. Though, as they were standing in the recess farthest removed
-from the windows, I came to the conclusion that other matters also were
-being discussed.
-
-It was about this time that I had hired a piano to console my solitude,
-and a day or two later, as I came towards my room, I heard a tinkle of
-music. Pushing the door gently open, I saw Miss Aramatilda picking out
-the air of a polka, and Halfred listening to this melody with the most
-undisguised admiration.
-
-This time his explanation was more lamely delivered, while Aramatilda
-showed the liveliest confusion and dismay.
-
-“My dear Miss Titch,” I assured her, “by all means practise my piano
-while I am out--provided, of course, that Mr. Winkles gives you
-permission. She asked you, no doubt, if she might play it, Halfred?”
-
-This did not diminish their confusion, I am afraid, and after that their
-concerts were better protected against surprise.
-
-Not that I should have objected very strongly to take Halfred's place as
-audience one day, for these further opportunities of seeing Miss Titch
-roused in me some sympathy with my valet. Aramatilda was undoubtedly
-attractive with her hair freed from a too severe restraint, a plump,
-brown-eyed young woman, smiling in the most engaging fashion when
-politely addressed. Indeed, I should have addressed her more frequently
-had not Halfred shown such evident interest in her himself. In these
-matters I have always held it better that master and man should be
-separately apportioned.
-
-There remains but one other inhabitant of this house who comes into
-my story and that was a certain old gentleman living in the rooms
-immediately over mine. In fact, we two were the only lodgers, and so,
-having few friends as yet, I began to feel some interest in him.
-
-I had heard him referred to always as “the General,” and the few
-glimpses I had had of him confirmed this title. Figure to yourself an
-erect man of middle height, white-mustached, quick in his step, with an
-eye essentially military--that is to say, expressionless in repose, keen
-when aroused--and do you not allow that, if he is not a general, he at
-least ought to be?
-
-“Who is this general?” I asked Halfred one day.
-
-“As rummy a old customer as ever was, sir,” said Halfred. “Been here
-for three years and never 'ad a visitor inside his room all that time,
-exceptin' one lady.”
-
-“A lady?” I said. “His--”
-
-“Don't know, sir. Some says one thing, some says another. Kind o' a
-hexotic, I calls 'im, sir. Miss Titch she thinks he's 'ad a affair
-of the 'eart; I think he booses same as a old pal o' mine what kept a
-chemist's shop in Stepney used to. My friend he locks 'isself up in the
-back room and puts away morphine and nicotine and strychnine and them
-things by the 'alf-pint. 'Ole days at it he were, sir, and all the time
-the small boys a-sneak-ing cough-drops, and tooth-brushes for to make
-feathers for their 'ats when playin' at soldiers, and when the doctor he
-sees 'im at last he says nothing but a hepileptic 'ome wouldn't do 'im
-any good.”
-
-“You think, then, the General drinks?” I said.
-
-“Either that or makes counterfeit coins, sir,” said Halfred, with an
-ominous shake of his bullet head.
-
-I was quite aware of my Halfred's partiality for the melodramatic.
-Nevertheless there was certainly something unusual in my neighbor's
-conduct that excited my interest considerably. For I confess I am one of
-those who are apt to be blind towards the mysteries of the obvious and
-the miracles of every day, and to revel in the romance of the singular.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter X
-
-
-“_Seek you wine or seek you maid at the journey's end?_
-
-_Give to me at every stage the welcome of a friend!_”
-
---Cyd.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9106]
-
-O not think that all this time I had lost sight of my new friends, the
-fair-haired Dick Shafthead and the genial Teddy Lumme. On the contrary,
-we had had more than one merry night together, and exchanged not a few
-confidences. Very soon after I was settled, Dick had come round to
-my rooms and criticised everything, from Halfred to the curtains. His
-tastes were a trifle too austere to altogether appreciate these latter
-rather sumptuous hangings.
-
-“They'll do for waistcoats if you ever go on the music-hall stage,” he
-observed, sardonically. “That's why you got 'em, perhaps?”
-
-“The very reason, my friend,” I replied. “I cannot afford to get both
-new waistcoats and new curtains; just as I am compelled to employ the
-same person to get me out of jail and criticise my furniture.”
-
-Dick laughed.
-
-“You are too witty, mossyour.” (He came as near the pronunciation of my
-title as that.) “You should write some of these things down before you
-forget 'em.”
-
-“For the French,” I retorted, “that precaution is unnecessary.”
-
-For Halfred, I am sorry to say, he did not at first show that
-appreciation I had expected.
-
-“Your 'bus-man,” was the epithet he applied behind his back; though I am
-bound to say his good-breeding made him so polite that Halfred, on his
-side, conceived the highest opinion of my friend.
-
-“A real gentleman, Mr. Shafthead is, sir,” he confided to me. “What I
-calls a hunmistakable toff. He hasn't got no side on, and he speaks to
-one man like as he would to another. In fact, sir, he reminds me of Lord
-Haugustus I once seed at the Hadelphi; a nobleman what said, 'I treats
-hevery fellow-Briton as a gentleman so long as Britannia rules the
-waves and 'e behaves 'isself accordingly.'”
-
-This may seem exaggerated praise, but, indeed, it would be difficult to
-exaggerate my dear Dick's virtues. Doubtless his faults are being placed
-in the opposite page of a ledger kept somewhere with his name upon the
-cover; but that is no business of mine. To paste in parallel columns
-the virtues of our friends and the faults of ourselves, that may be
-unpleasant, but it is necessary if we are to turn the search-light
-inward. Certain weak spots we must not look at too closely if we are to
-keep our self-respect; but, my faith! we can well give the most of our
-humanity an airing now and then; also, if possible, a fumigating. It was
-Dick Shafthead, more than any other, who took my failings for a walk
-in the sunshine, and somehow or other they always returned a little
-abashed.
-
-A very different person was his cousin Teddy Lumme, for whom,
-by-the-way, I discovered Dick had a real regard carefully concealed
-behind a most satirical attitude. Teddy was not clever--though shrewd
-enough within strict limits; he was no moralist, no philosopher; _an
-observer chiefly of the things least worth observing_--a performer
-upon the tin-whistle of life. But, owing to his kindness of heart and
-ingenuous disposition, he was wonderfully likable.
-
-His leisure moments were devoted, I believe, to the discharge of some
-duty in the foreign office, though what precisely it was I could never,
-even by the most ingenious cross-examination, discover. His father held
-the respectable position of Bishop of Battersea; his mother was the
-Honorable Mrs. Lumme. These excellent parents had a high regard for
-Teddy, whom they considered likely to make his mark in the world.
-
-I was taken to the bishopric (sic), and discussed with the most
-venerable Lumme, senior, many points of interest to a foreigner.
-
-Note of a conversation with Bishop of Battersea, taken down from memory
-a few days after: _Myself_. “What is the difference between a High
-Church and a Low Church?”
-
-_Bishop_. “A High Church has a high conception of its duties towards
-mankind, religion, the apostolic succession, and the costume of its
-clergymen. A Low Church has the opposite.”
-
-_Myself_. “Are you Low Church?”
-
-_Bishop_. “No.”
-
-_Myself_. “I understand that the conversion of the Pope is one of your
-objects. Is that so?” _Bishop_. “Should the Pope approach us in a proper
-spirit we should certainly be willing to admit him into our fold.”
-
-_Myself_. “Have you written many theological works?”
-
-_Bishop_. “I believe tea is ready.”
-
-Afterwards further discussion on tithes, doctrine, and the Thirty-nine
-Articles, of which I forget the details.
-
-My friend Teddy did not live at the bishopric with his parents, but in
-exceedingly well-appointed chambers near St. James Street. Here I met
-various other young gentlemen of fortune and promise, who discussed
-with me many questions of international interest--such as the price of
-champagne in foreign hotels, the status of the music-hall artiste at
-home and abroad, the best knot for the full-dress tie, and so forth.
-
-Dick Shafthead did not often appear in this company.
-
-“Can't afford their amusements, and can't be bothered with their
-conversation,” he explained to me. “Look in and have a pipe this evening
-if you're doing nothing else. If you want cigars, bring your own; I've
-run out.”
-
-And, after all, learning to perform upon the briar-pipe in Dick's
-society under the old roof of the Temple, applauding or disapproving of
-our elders and our betters, had infinitely more charm to me than those
-intellectual conclaves at his cousin's, for six nights in the week at
-least. A different mood, a different friend. Sometimes one desires in a
-companion congenial depravity; at others, more points of contact.
-
-This Temple where Dick lived is not a church, though there is a church
-within it. It is one of those surprising secrets that London keeps and
-shows you sometimes to reconcile you to her fogs. Out of the heart of
-the traffic and the noise you turn through an ancient archway into
-a rabbit warren of venerable and sober red buildings; each court and
-passage tidy, sedate, and, if I may say it of a personage of brick,
-thoughtful and kindly disposed to its inhabitants. This is the Temple,
-once the home of the Knight Templars, now of English law. In one
-court Dick shared with a friend an austerely furnished office where he
-received such work as the solicitors sent him, and was ready to receive
-more. But it was on the top flight of another staircase in another
-court-yard that he kept his household gods.
-
-He had come there, as I have said before, during a period of financial
-depression, and there he had stayed ever since. I do not wonder at
-it; though, to be sure, I think I should find it rather solitary of an
-evening, when the offices emptied, silence fell upon the stairs and
-the quadrangles, and there were only left in the whole vast warren the
-sprinkling of permanent inhabitants who dwelt under the slates. Yet
-there was I know not quite what about those old rooms, an aroma of the
-past, a link with romance, that made them lovable. The panelled walls,
-the undulating floors, the odd angle which held the fireplace, the beam
-across the ceiling, the old furniture to match these, all had character;
-and to what but character do we link sentiment?
-
-Also the prospect from the windows was delightful; an open court, a few
-trees, the angles of other ancient buildings, a glimpse of green turf
-in a garden, a peep of more stems and branches, with the Thames beyond.
-Yes, it was quite the neighborhood for a romantic episode to happen. And
-one day, as you shall hear in time, it happened.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XI
-
-
-“_And then I came to another castle where lived a giant whose name was
-John Bull._”
-
---Maundeville (adapted).
-
-
-[Illustration: 9112]
-
-“O you dance?” asked Teddy.
-
-“All night, if you will play to me,” I replied.
-
-“Ride?” said he.
-
-“On a horse? Yes, my friend, I can even ride a horse.”
-
-“Well, then, I say, d'you care to come to a ball at Seneschal Court,
-the Trevor-Hudson's place; meet next day, and that sort of thing? Dick
-and I are going. We'll be there about a week.”
-
-“But I do not know the--the very excellent people you have named.”
-
-“Oh, that's all right,” said Teddy. “They want a man or two. So few men
-dance nowadays, don't you know. I keep it up myself a little; girls get
-sick if I don't hop round with 'em now and then. Hullo, I see you've got
-a card from my mater, for the twenty-ninth. Don't go, whatever you do.
-Sure to be dull. The mater's shows always are. What did you think of
-that girl the other night? Ha, ha! Told you so; I know all about women.
-What's this book you're reading? French, by Jove! Pretty stiff, isn't
-it? Oh, o' course you are French, aren't you? That makes a difference, I
-suppose. Well, then, you'll come with us. Thursday, first. I'll let you
-know the train.”
-
-“May I bring my Halfred?” I inquired.
-
-“Rather. Looks well to have a man with you. I'd bring mine, only he
-makes a fuss if he can't have a bedroom looking south, and one can't
-insist on people giving him that. Au revoir, mos-soo.”
-
-This was on Monday, so I had but little time for preparation.
-
-Halfred was at once taken into consultation.
-
-“I am going to hunt,” I said; “also to a ball; and you are coming with
-me. Prepare me for the ballroom and the chase. What do I require beyond
-the things I already have?”
-
-“A pink coat and a 'ard 'at, sir,” said he, with great confidence.
-“Likewise top-boots and white gloves for to dance in, not forgettin' a
-pair o' spurs and a whip.”
-
-“I shall get the hat, the coat, and the boots. Gloves I have already.
-You will buy me the spurs and the whip. By-the-way, have you ever
-hunted, Halfred?”
-
-“Not exactly 'unted myself, sir,” said he, “but I've seed the 'unt go
-by, and knowed a lot o' 'unting-men. Then, bein' connected with hosses
-so much myself I've naterally took a hinterest in the turf and the
-racin'-stable.”
-
-[Illustration: 0114]
-
-“You are a judge of horses?” I asked.
-
-“Well, sir, I am generally considered to know something about 'em.
-In fact, sir, Mr. Widdup--that's the gentleman what give me the
-testimonial--he's said to me more nor once, 'Halfred,' says he, 'what
-you don't know about these 'ere hanimals would go into a pill-box
-comfertable.'”
-
-“Good,” I said. “Find me two hunters that I can hire for a week.”
-
-The little man looked me up and down with a discriminating eye.
-
-“Something that can carry a bit o' weight, sir, and stand a lot o' 'ard
-riding; that's what you need, sir.”
-
-Now, I am not heavy, nor had circumstances hitherto given me the
-opportunity of riding excessively hard, but the notion that I was indeed
-a gigantic Nimrod tempted my fancy, and I am ashamed to confess that I
-fell.
-
-[Illustration: 0115]
-
-“Yes,” I said, “that is exactly what I require.”
-
-“Leave it to me, sir,” he assured me, with great confidence. “I'll make
-hall the arrangements.” My mind was now easy, and for the two following
-days I studied all the English novels treating of field sports, and the
-articles on hunting in the encyclopaedias and almanacs, so that when
-Thursday arrived and I met my friends at the station I felt myself
-qualified to take part with some assurance in their arguments on the
-chase. We are a receptive race, we French, and the few accomplishments
-we have not actually created we can at least quickly comprehend and
-master.
-
-Next door to us, in a second-class compartment, Halfred was travelling,
-and attached to our train was the horse-box containing the two hunters
-he had engaged. I had had one look at these, and certainly there seemed
-to be no lack of bone and muscle.
-
-“Mr. Widdup and me 'ired 'em, sir,” said Halfred, “from a particular
-friend o' ours what can be trusted. Jumps like fleas, they do, he says,
-and 'as been known to run for sixty-five miles without stoppin' more'n
-once or twice for a drink. 'Ard in the mouth and 'igh in the temper,
-says he, but the very thing for a gentleman in good 'ealth what doesn't
-'unt regular and likes 'is money's worth when he does.”
-
-“You have exactly described me,” I replied.
-
-But if I had the advantage over my two friends in the suite I was taking
-with me, Teddy Lumme certainly led the way in conversation. He was
-vastly impressed with the importance of our party (a sentiment he
-succeeded in communicating to the guard and the other officials); also
-with the respectability of the function we were going to attend, and
-with the inferiority of other travellers on that railway. This air of
-triumphal progress or coronation procession was still further increased
-by the indefatigable attentions of Halfred, who at every station ran to
-our carriage door, touched his hat, and made inquiries concerning our
-comfort and safety; so that more than once a loyal cheer was raised as
-the train steamed out again, and Dick even declared that at an important
-junction he perceived the Lord Alayor's daughter approaching with
-a basket of flowers. Unfortunately, however, she did not reach our
-carriage in time.
-
-[Illustration: 0117]
-
-The glories of this pageant he was partaking in filled Teddy's mind
-with reminiscences of other scenes where he had played an equally
-distinguished part.
-
-“I remember one day with the Quorn last year,” he remarked. “Devil of
-a run we had; seventy-five minutes without a check. When we'd killed, I
-said to a man, 'Got anything to drink?' It was Pluckham. You know Lord
-Pluckham, Dick?”
-
-“His bankruptcy case went through our chambers,” said Dick, dryly.
-
-“Dashed hard lines that was,” said Teddy. “He's a good chap, is
-Pluckham; kept the best whiskey in England. By Jove! I never had a drink
-like that. A man needs one after riding with the Quorn.”
-
-And Teddy puffed his cigar and chewed the cud of that proud moment.
-
-“Where are our horses, Teddy?” asked Dick. “Coming down by a special
-train?”
-
-“Oh, they are mounting me,” said Teddy. “Trevor-Hudson always keeps a
-couple of his best for me. What are you doing?”
-
-“Following on a bicycle,” replied Dick. “My five grooms and six horses
-haven't turned up.”
-
-“My dear Shafthead,” said I, “I shall lend you one of mine.”
-
-“Many thanks,” he answered, with gratitude, no doubt, but with less
-enthusiasm than I should have expected. “Unfortunately I've seen 'em.”
-
-“And do you not care to ride them?” I asked, with some disappointment, I
-confess.
-
-“Not alone,” said Dick. “If you'll lend me Halfred to sit behind and
-keep the beast steady I don't mind trying.”
-
-“Very well,” I said, with a shrug.
-
-This strain of a brutality that is peculiarly British occasionally
-disfigures my dear Dick. Yet I continue to love him--judge, then, of his
-virtues.
-
-“Are they good fencers?” asked Lumme.
-
-“I have not yet seen them with the foils,” I replied, smiling politely
-at what seemed a foolish joke.
-
-“I mean,” said he, “do they take their jumps well?”
-
-“Pardon,” I laughed. “Yes, I am told they are excellent--if the wall is
-not too high. We shall not find them more than six feet?”
-
-But I was assured that obstacles of more than this elevation would not
-be met frequently.
-
-“Do they take water all right?” asked the inquisitive Teddy again.
-
-“Both that and corn,” I replied. “But Halfred will attend to these
-matters.”
-
-English humor is peculiar. I had not meant to make a jest, yet I was
-applauded for this simple answer.
-
-“Tell me what to look for in my hosts,” I said to Dick, presently.
-
-“Money and money's worth,” he replied.
-
-“What we call the nouveau riche?” I asked.
-
-“On the contrary, what is called a long pedigree, nowadays--two
-generations of squires, two of captains of industry (I think that is the
-proper term), and before that the imagination of the Herald's Office.
-There is also a pretty daughter--isn't there, Teddy?”
-
-“Quite a nice little thing,” said Lumme, graciously.
-
-“I thought you rather fancied her.”
-
-“I'm off women at present,” the venerable _roué_ declared.
-
-Dick's grin at hearing this sentiment was more eloquent than any
-comment.
-
-But now we had reached our destination. Halfred and a very stately
-footman, assisted by the station-master, the ticket-collector, and all
-the porters, transferred our luggage to a handsome private omnibus;
-then, Halfred having arranged that the horses should be taken to stables
-in the village (since my host's were full), we all bowled off between
-the hedge-rows.
-
-It was a beautiful October evening, still clear overhead and red in the
-west; the plumage of the trees had just begun to turn a russet brown;
-the air was very fresh after the streets of London; our horses rattled
-at a most exhilarating pace.
-
-“My faith,” I exclaimed, “this is next to heaven! I shall be buried in
-the country.”
-
-“Those hunters of yours ought to manage it for you,” observed Dick.
-
-Yet I forgave him again.
-
-We turned through an imposing gateway, and now we were in a wide and
-charming English park. Undulating turf and stately trees spread all
-round us and ended only in the dusk of the evening; a herd of deer
-galloped from our path; rooks cawed in the branches overhead; a gorgeous
-pheasant ran for shelter towards a thicket. Then, on one side, came
-an ivy-covered wall over whose top high, dark evergreens stood up like
-Ethiopian giants. Evidently these were the gardens, and in a moment more
-we were before the house itself.
-
-As I went from the carriage to the door I had just time and light to
-see that it was a very great mansion, not old, apparently, but tempered
-enough by time to inspire a kindly feeling of respect. A high tower rose
-over the door, and along the front, on either side, creepers climbed
-between the windows, and these gave an impression at once of stateliness
-and home.
-
-By the aid of two servants, who were nearly as tall as the tower, we
-were led first through an ample vestibule adorned with a warlike array
-of spears. These, I was informed, belonged to the body-guard of my host
-when he was high sheriff of his county, and this explanation, though
-it took from them the romance of antiquity, gave me, nevertheless, a
-pleasanter sensation than if they had been brandished at Flodden. They
-were a relic not of a dead but a living feudalism, a symbol that a
-sovereign still ruled this land. And this reminded me of the reason
-I was here and the cause for which I still hoped to fight; and for a
-moment it saddened me.
-
-But again I commit the crime of being serious; also the still less
-pardonable offence of leaving my two friends standing outside the doors
-of the hall.
-
-Hastily I rejoin them; the doors open, a buzz of talk within suddenly
-subsides, and we march across the hall in single file to greet our host
-and hostess. What I see during this brief procession is a wide and high
-room, a gallery running round it, a great fireplace at the farther end,
-and a company of nearly twenty people sitting or standing near the fire
-and engaged in the consumption of tea and the English crumpet.
-
-I am presented, received in a very off-hand fashion, told to help
-myself to tea and crumpet, and then left to my own devices. Lumme and
-Shafthead each find an acquaintance to speak to, my host and hostess
-turn to their other guests, and, with melted butter oozing from my
-crumpet into my tea, I do my best to appear oblivious of the glances
-which I feel are being directed at me. I look irresolutely towards my
-hostess. She is faded, affected, and talkative; but her talk is not for
-me, and, in fact, she has already turned her back. And my host? He is
-indeed looking at me fixedly out of a somewhat bloodshot eye, while he
-stuffs tea-cake into a capacious mouth; but when I meet his gaze, he
-averts his eyes. A cheerful couple; a kindly reception! “What does it
-mean?”
-
-I ask myself. “Has Lumme exceeded his powers in bringing me here?” I
-remember that at his instigation Mrs. Trevor-Hudson sent me a brief note
-of invitation, but possibly she repented afterwards. Or is my appearance
-so unpleasant? In France, I tell myself, it was not generally considered
-repulsive. In fact, I can console myself with several instances to the
-contrary but possibly English standards of taste are different.
-
-At last I venture to accost a gentleman who, at the moment, is also
-silent.
-
-“Have you also come from London?” I ask.
-
-“I? No. Live near here,” he says, and turns to resume his conversation
-with a lady.
-
-I am seriously thinking of taking my departure before there is any
-active outbreak of hostilities, when I see a stout gentleman, with a
-very red face, approaching me from the farther side of the fireplace. I
-have noticed him staring at me with, it seemed, undisguised animosity,
-and I am preparing the retort with which I shall answer his request
-to immediately leave the house, when he remarks, in a bluff, cheerful
-voice, as he advances: “Bringin' your horses, I hear.”
-
-“I am, sir,” I reply, in great surprise.
-
-“Lumme was tellin' me,” he adds, genially. “Ever hunted this country
-before?”
-
-And in a moment I find myself engaged in a friendly conversation, which
-is as suddenly interrupted by a very beautifully dressed apparition
-with a very long mustache, who calls my short friend “Sir Henry,” and
-consults him about an accident that has befallen his horse. But I began
-to see the theory of this reception. It is an Englishman's idea of
-making you--and himself--feel at home.
-
-[Illustration: 0124]
-
-You eat as much cake as you please, talk to anybody you please, remain
-silent as long as you please, leave the company if you please and smoke
-a pipe, and you are not interfered with by any one while doing these
-things. To introduce you to somebody might bore you; you may not be a
-conversationalist, and may prefer to stand and stare like a surfeited
-ox. Well, if such are your tastes it would be interfering with the
-liberty of the subject to cross them. What was the use of King John
-signing the Magna Charta if an Englishman finds himself compelled to be
-agreeable?
-
-This idea having dawned upon me and my courage returned, I cast my eyes
-round the company, and selecting the prettiest girl made straight at
-her. She received me with a smiling eye and the most delightful manner
-possible, and as she talked and I looked more closely at her, I saw that
-she was even fairer than I had thought.
-
-Picture a slim figure, rather under middle height, a bright eye that
-sparkled as though there was dew upon it, piquant little features that
-all joined in a frequent and quite irresistible smile; and, finally,
-dress this dainty demoiselle in the most fascinating costume you can
-imagine. Need it be said that I was soon emboldened to talk quite
-frankly and presently to ask her who some of the company were? “Sir
-Henry” turned out to be Sir Henry Horley, a prosperous baronet, who
-scarcely ever left the saddle; the gentleman with the long mustache, to
-be Lord Thane, an elder son with political aspirations; while the man
-I had first accosted was no less a person than Mr. H. Y. Tonks, the
-celebrated cricketer.
-
-“And now will you point out to me Miss Trevor-Hudson?” I asked. “I hear
-she is very beautiful.”
-
-“Who told you that?” she inquired, with a more charming smile than ever.
-
-“Her admirers,” I answered.
-
-The girl raised her eyebrows, shot me the archest glance in the world,
-and pointing her finger to her own breast, said, simply:
-
-“There she is.”
-
-I said to myself that though my friend Teddy Lumme was “off women,” I,
-at any rate, was not.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XII
-
-
-“_Our language is needlessly complicated. Why, for instance, have two
-such words as 'woman' and 'discord,' when one would serve?_”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9127]
-
-RESENTLY the men retired to smoke, and for an hour or two I had to tear
-myself from the smiles of Miss Trevor-Hudson.
-
-The smoking-room opened into the billiard-room, and some played pool
-while the rest of us sat about the fire and discussed agriculture, the
-preservation of pheasants, and, principally, horses, hounds, and foxes.
-A short fragment will show you the standard of eloquence to which we
-attained. It is founded, I admit, more on imagination than memory, but
-is sufficiently accurate for the purpose of illustration. As to who the
-different speakers were you can please your fancy.
-
-_First Sportsman._ “Are your turnips large?”
-
-_Second Sportsman_. “Not so devilish bad. Did you go to the meet on
-Tuesday?”
-
-_First Sportsman_. “Yes, and I noticed Charley Tootle there.”
-
-_Third Sportsman_. “Ridin' his bay horse or his black?”
-
-_First Sportsman._ “The bay.”
-
-_Fourth Sportsman_. “Oats make better feeding.”
-
-_Second Sportsman_. “My man prefers straw.”
-
-_First Sportsman_. “Did you fish this summer?”
-
-_Third Sportsman._ “No; I shot buffaloes instead.”
-
-_First Sportsman_. “Where--Kamchatka or Japan?”
-
-_Third Sportsman_. “Japan. Kamchatka's getting overshot.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman._ “Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?”
-
-_Second Sportsman._ “I am having it laid on.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman_. “What system do you use?”
-
-_Second Sportsman_. “Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the
-conservatory cistern.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman_. “Sounds a devilish good notion.”
-
-_First Sportsman_. “Now, let me tell you my experience of those
-self-lengthening stirrups.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman._ “Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?”
-
-_Second Sportsman._ “I am having it laid on.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman_. “What system do you use?”
-
-_Second Sportsman_. “Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the
-conservatory cistern.”
-
-_Fifth Sportsman_. “Sounds a devilish good notion.”
-
-_First Sportsman_. “Now, let me tell you my experience of those self-
-lengthening stirrups.”
-
-And so on till the booming of a gong summoned us to dress for dinner.
-
-“Well,” said Dick, as we went to our rooms, “you looked as though your
-mind was being improved.”
-
-“It is trying to become adjusted,” I replied.
-
-On our way we passed along the gallery overlooking the hall, and
-suddenly I was struck by the contrast between this house and its
-inhabitants: on the one hand the splendid proportions and dignity of
-this great hall, dark under the oak beams of the roof, fire-light and
-lamp-light falling below upon polished floor and carpets of the East;
-the library lined with what was best in English literature, the walls
-with the worthiest in English art; on the other, my heavy-eyed host full
-of port and prejudices, and as meshed about by unimaginative limitations
-as any strawberry-bed. Possibly I am too foreign, and only see the
-surface, but then how is one to suspect a gold-mine beneath a vegetable
-garden?
-
-At dinner I found myself seated between Lady Thane and Miss Rosalie
-Horley. Lady Thane, wife to the nobleman with the long mustache, had an
-attractive face, but took herself seriously. In man this is dangerous,
-in woman fatal. I turned to my other neighbor and partially obtained my
-consolation there. She was young, highly colored, hearty, and ingenuous,
-and proved so appreciative a listener as nearly to suffocate herself
-with an oyster-paté when I told her how I had burgled Fisher. The
-remainder of my consolation I obtained from the prospect, directly
-opposite, of Miss Trevor-Hudson. She was sitting next to Teddy Lumme,
-and if it had not been for his express declaration to the contrary I
-should have said he was far from insusceptible to her charms. Yet, since
-I knew his real sentiments, I did not hesitate to distract her glance
-when possible.
-
-After dinner a great bustling among the ladies, a great putting on of
-overcoats and lighting of cigars among the men, and then we all embarked
-in an immense omnibus and clattered off to the ball. This dance was
-being held in the county town some miles away, so that for more than
-half an hour I sat between Dick and Teddy on a seat behind the driver's,
-my cigar between my teeth, a very excellent dinner beneath my overcoat,
-and my heart as light as a sparrow's. On either side the rays of our
-lamps danced like fire-flies along the woods and hedge-rows, but my
-fancy seemed to run still faster than these meteor companions, and
-already I pictured myself claiming six dances from Miss Trevor-Hudson.
-
-But now other lights began to appear, twinkling through trees before us,
-and presently we were clattering up the high street of the market-town.
-Other carriages were already congregated about the assembly rooms at the
-Checkered Boar, a crowd of spectators had gathered before the door
-to stare at visions of lace and jewelry, the strains of the band came
-through an open window, and altogether there was an air of revelry that
-I suppose only visited the little borough once a year. Inside the doors,
-waiters with shining heads and ruddy faces waved us on up and down
-stairs and along passages, where, at intervals, we met other guests as
-resplendent as ourselves, till at last we reached the ballroom itself.
-This was a long, low room with a shining floor, an old-fashioned
-wall-paper decorated with a pattern of pink roses, and a great blaze of
-candles to light it up. It was evident that many generations of squires
-must have danced beneath those candles and between the rose-covered
-walls, and this suggestion of old-worldness had a singularly pleasant
-flavor.
-
-In a recess about the middle of the room the orchestra were tuning
-up for another waltz; at one end the more important families were
-assembling; at the other, the lesser. Need I say that we joined the
-former group?
-
-In English country dances it usually is the custom to have programmes on
-which you write the names of your partners for the evening. I now looked
-round to secure one particular partner, but she was not to be seen.
-The waltz had begun; I scanned the dancers. There was Shafthead tearing
-round with Miss Horley, his athletic figure moving well, his good
-features lit by a smile he could assume most agreeably when on his
-best behavior. There was the stout Sir Henry revolving with the more
-deliberate pomp of sixty summers. But where were the bright eyes?
-Suddenly I spied the skirt of a light-blue dress through the opening
-of a doorway. I rushed for it, and there, out in the passage, was the
-misogamist Lumme evidently entreating Miss Trevor-Hudson for more dances
-than she was willing to surrender. For her sake this must be stopped.
-
-“I have come to make a modest request,” I said. “Will you give me a
-dance--or possibly two?”
-
-With the sweetest air she took her programme from the disconcerted, and
-I do not think very amiable, Teddy, and handed it to me.
-
-“I have taken three, seven, and fourteen,” I said, giving it back to
-her.
-
-“Fourteen is mine,” cried Teddy.
-
-“Not now, I said, smiling.
-
-“I had booked it,” said he.
-
-“Your name was not there,” I replied. “And now, Miss Hudson, if you are
-not dancing this dance will you finish it with me?”
-
-She took my arm, and the baffled despiser of women was left in the
-passage.
-
-This may sound hard treatment to be dealt out to a friend, and, indeed,
-I fear that though outwardly calm, and even polite to exaggeration, my
-indignation had somewhat run away with me. Had I any excuse? Yes; two
-eyes that, as I have said, were bright as the dew, and a smile not to be
-resisted.
-
-She danced divinely, she let me clasp her hand tenderly yet firmly, and
-she smiled at me when she was dancing with others. I noticed once or
-twice when we danced together that Lumme also smiled at her, but I was
-convinced she did not reply to this. In fact, his whole conduct seemed
-to me merely presumptuous and impertinent. How mine seemed to him I
-cannot tell you.
-
-[Illustration: 0133]
-
-He had secured the advantage of engaging several dances before I had
-time to interfere, and also possessed one other--a scarlet evening-coat,
-the uniform of the hunt. But I glanced in the mirror, and said to myself
-that I did not grudge him this adornment, while as for my fewer number
-of dances, I found my partner quite willing to allow me others to which
-I was not legally entitled. In this way I obtained number thirteen, to
-the detriment of Mr. Tonks, and was just prepared to embark upon number
-fourteen when Lumme approached us with an air I did not approve of.
-
-“This is my dance,” he said, in a manner inexcusable in the presence of
-a lady.
-
-“Pardon,” I replied. “It is mine.”
-
-Miss Hudson looked from one to the other of us with a delightfully
-perplexed expression, but, I fear, with a little wickedness in her brown
-eye.
-
-“What am I to do?” she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.
-
-“It is my dance,” repeated Teddy, glaring fixedly at me.
-
-I shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and offered her my arm to lead her
-away.
-
-“I am sorry, Mr. Lumme,” said the cause of this strife, sweetly, “but I
-am afraid Mr. D'Haricot's name is on my programme.”
-
-Teddy made a tragic bow that would have done credit to a dyspeptic frog,
-and I danced off with my prize. At the end of the waltz he came up to me
-with a carefully concocted sneer.
-
-“You know how to sneak dances, moshyour,” he observed. “Do you do
-everything else as well?”
-
-I kept my temper and replied, suavely, “Yes, I shoot tolerably with the
-pistol, and can use the foils.”
-
-“Like your cab-horses?” sneered Teddy, taking no notice, however, of the
-implied invitation to console himself if aggrieved. “I'm keen to see how
-long you stick on top of those beasts.”
-
-“Good, my friend,” I replied, “I take that as a challenge to ride a
-race. We shall see to-morrow who first catches the fox!”
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XIII
-
-
-“_With his horse and his hounds in the morning!_”
-
---English Ballad.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9136]
-
-HEN I awoke next morning, my first thoughts were of a pair of brown
-eyes, dainty features that smiled up at me, and a voice that whispered
-as we danced for the last time together, “No, I shall not forget you
-when you are gone.”
-
-Then, quickly, I remembered the sport before me, and the challenge to
-ride to the death with the rival who had crossed my path.
-
-“Halfred,” I said.
-
-The little man looked up from the pile of clothes he was folding in the
-early morning light, and stopped the gentle hissing that accompanied,
-and doubtless lightened, every task.
-
-“Fasten my spurs on firmly,” I said. “I shall ride hard to-day.”
-
-He cannot have noticed the grave note in my voice, for he replied, in
-his customary cheerful fashion, “If hevervthing sticks on as well as the
-spurs, sir, you won't 'ave nothin' to complain of.”
-
-“I shall ride very hard, Halfred.”
-
-“'Arder nor usual, sir?” he asked, with a look of greater interest.
-
-[Illustration: 0137]
-
-“Vastly, immeasurably!”
-
-“What's hup, sir?” he exclaimed, in some concern now.
-
-“I have made a little bet with Mr. Lumme,” I answered in a serious
-voice, “a small wager that I shall be the first to catch the fox. If
-you can make a suggestion that may help me to win, I shall be happy to
-listen to it.”
-
-“Catch the fox, sir?” he repeated, thoughtfully, scratching his head.
-“Well, sir, it seems to me there's nothin' for it but starting hoff
-first and not lettin' 'im catch you up. I 'aven't 'unted myself, sir,
-but I've 'eard tell as 'ow a sharp gent sometimes spots the fox afore
-any of the hothers. That's 'ow to do it, in my opinion.”
-
-I thought this over and the scheme seemed excellent.
-
-“We shall arrange it thus,” I said: “You will mount one horse and I the
-other. We shall ride together and look for the fox.”
-
-Conceive of my servant's delight. I do not believe that if I had offered
-him a hundred pounds he would have felt so much joy.
-
-I dressed myself with the most scrupulous accuracy, for I was resolved
-that nothing about me should suggest the novice. My pink coat fitted to
-within half a little wrinkle in an inconspicuous place, my breeches were
-a miracle of sartorial art, the reflection from my top-boots perceptibly
-lightened the room. No one at the breakfast-table cut more dash. I had
-secured a seat beside Miss Trevor-Hudson and we jested together with
-a friendliness that must have disturbed Lumme, for he watched us
-furtively, with a dark look on his face, and never addressed a word to a
-soul all the time.
-
-“I shall expect you to give me a lead to-day,” she said to me.
-
-“Are you well mounted?” I asked.
-
-“I am riding my favorite gray.”
-
-“Ride hard, then,” I said, loud enough for Lumme to hear me. “The lead
-I give will be a fast one!” Before breakfast was over we had been
-joined by guest after guest who had come for the meet. Outside the house
-carriages and dog-carts, spectators on foot, grooms with horses, and
-sportsmen who had already breakfasted were assembled in dozens, and the
-crowd was growing greater every moment. I adjusted my shining hat upon
-my head and went out to look for Halfred. There he was, the centre
-evidently of considerable interest and admiration, perched high upon
-one of the gigantic and noble quadrupeds, and grasping the other by the
-reins. His livery of deep-plum color, relieved by yellow cording, easily
-distinguished him from all other grooms, while my two steeds appeared
-scarcely to be able to restrain their generous impatience, for
-it required three villagers at the head of each to control their
-exhilaration.
-
-“I congratulate you,” I said to my servant. “The _tout ensemble_ is
-excellent.”
-
-At that moment his mount began to plunge like a ship at sea, and the
-little man went up and down at such a rate that he could only gasp:
-
-“'Old 'im, you there chaw-bacons! 'Old 'im tight! 'E won't 'urt you!”
-
-In response to this petition the villagers leaped out of range and
-uttered incomprehensible sounds, much to my amusement. This, however,
-was quickly changed to concern when I observed my own steed suddenly
-stand upon end and flourish his fore-legs like a heraldic emblem.
-
-“You have overfed them with oats,” I said to Halfred, severely.
-
-[Illustration: 0140]
-
-“Oats be--” he began, and then pitched on to the mane, “oats be--” and
-here he just clutched the saddle in time to save himself from retiring
-over the tail--“oats be blowed!”
-
-“It ain't oats that's the matter with 'em,” said a bluff voice behind
-me.
-
-I turned and saw Sir Henry looking with an experienced eye at this
-performance.
-
-“What is it?” I inquired.
-
-“Vice,” said he. “I know that fiddle-headed brute well; no mistakin'
-him. It's the beast that broke poor Oswald's neck last season. His widow
-sold him to a dealer at Rugby for fifteen pounds, and, by Jove! here he
-is again, just waitin' for a chance to break yours!”
-
-He turned his critical eye to Halfred's refractory steed.
-
-“And I think I remember that dancin' stallion, too,” he added, grimly.
-“Gad! you'll have some fun to-day, monsieur!”
-
-This was cheerful, but there was no getting out of it now. Indeed, the
-huntsman and the pack were already leading the way to the first covert
-and everybody was on the move behind them. I mounted my homicide during
-one of its calmer intervals, the villagers bolted out of the way, and in
-a moment we were clearing a course through the throng like a charge of
-cavalry.
-
-“Steady there, steady!” bawled the master of the hunt. “Keep back, will
-you?”
-
-With some difficulty I managed to take my mount plunging and sidling out
-to where Halfred was galloping in circles at a little distance from the
-rest of the field.
-
-“Where are the hounds?” I cried. “Where is the fox?”
-
-“In among them trees,” replied Halfred, as we galloped together towards
-the master.
-
-“Let us go after them!” I exclaimed. “Lumme waits behind with the
-others. Now is our chance!”
-
-“Come on, sir!” said Halfred, and we dashed past the master at a pace
-that scarcely gave us time to hear the encouraging cry with which he
-greeted us.
-
-The wood was small, but the trees were densely packed, and it was only
-by the most miraculous good luck, aided also by skilful management, that
-we avoided injury from the branches. Somewhere before us we could
-hear the baying of the hounds, and we directed our course accordingly.
-Suddenly there arose a louder clamor and we caught a glimpse of white
-and tan forms leaping towards us. But we scarcely noticed these, for
-at that same instant we had espied a small, brown animal slipping away
-almost under our horses' feet.
-
-“The fox!” cried Halfred.
-
-“The fox!” I shouted, bending forward and aiming a blow at it with my
-whip.
-
-With a loud cheer we turned and burst through the covert in hot pursuit,
-and, easily out-distancing the 'hounds, broke into the open with nothing
-before us but Reynard himself. Figure to yourself the sensation!
-
-[Illustration: 0143]
-
-Ah, that I could inoculate you with some potent fluid that should set
-your blood on fire and make you feel the intoxication of that chase as
-you read my poor, bald words! Over a fence we went and descended on the
-other side, myself hatless, Halfred no longer perched upon the saddle,
-but clinging manfully to the more forward portions of his steed. Then,
-through a wide field of grass we tore. This field was lined all down
-the farther side by a hedge of thorns quite forty feet high, which the
-English call a “bulrush.” At one corner I observed a gate, and having
-never before charged such a barrier, I endeavored to direct my horse
-towards this. But no! He had seen the fox go through the hedge, and I
-believe he was inspired by as eager a desire to catch it as I was
-myself. I shut my eyes, I lowered my head, I felt my cheek torn by
-something sharp and heard a great crash of breaking branches, and then,
-behold! I was on the farther side! My spurs had instinctively been
-driven harder into my horse's flank, and though I had long since dropped
-my whip, they proved sufficient to encourage him to still greater
-exertions.
-
-Finding that he was capable of directing his course unassisted, and
-perceiving also that he had taken the bit so firmly between his teeth
-as to preclude the possibility of my guiding him with any certainty, I
-discarded the reins (which of course were now unnecessary), and confined
-my attention to seeing that he should not be hampered by my slipping
-on my saddle. One brief glance over my shoulder showed me his stable
-companion following hard, in spite of the inconvenience of having to
-support his rider up on his neck, and racing alongside came the foremost
-hounds. Behind the pack were scattered in a long procession pink coats
-and galloping horses, dark habits and more galloping horses. I tried to
-pick out my rival, but at that instant my horse rose to another fence
-and my attention was distracted.
-
-Another field, this time ploughed, and a stiffer job now for my good
-horse. Yet he would certainly have overtaken our quarry in a few minutes
-longer had he selected that part of the next fence I wished him to jump.
-But, alas! he must take it at its highest, and the ploughed field had
-proved too exhausting. We rose, there was a crash, and I have a dim
-recollection of wondering on which portion of my frame I should fall.
-
-Then I knew no more till I found myself in the arms of the faithful
-Halfred, with neither horse, hounds, fox, nor huntsmen in sight.
-
-“Did you catch it?” I asked.
-
-“No, sir,” said he, “but I give it a rare fright.”
-
-But I had scarcely heard these consoling words before I swooned again.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XIV
-
-
-“_You feel yourself insulted? That is fortunate, for otherwise I should
-have been compelled to!_”
-
---Hercule d'Enville.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9145]
-
-ICTURE me now, stretched upon a sofa in the very charming morning-room of
-Seneschal Court, a little bruised, a little shaken still, but making a
-quick progress towards recovery. Exasperating, no doubt, to be inactive
-and an invalid when others are well and spending the day in hunting and
-shooting, but I had two consolations. First of all, Lumme had not beaten
-me. He, too, had been dismounted a few fields farther on, and though he
-had ridden farthest, yet I had gone fastest, and could fairly claim to
-have at least divided the honors. But consolation number two would, I
-think, have atoned even in the absence of consolation number one. In two
-words, this comfort was my nurse. Yes, you can picture Amy Trevor-Hudson
-sitting by the side of that sofa, intent upon a piece of fancy-work that
-progresses at the rate of six stitches a day, yet not so intent as to be
-unable to converse with her guest and patient.
-
-“You are really feeling better to-day?” she asks, with that sparkling
-glance of her brown eyes that accompanies every word, however trivial.
-
-“Thank you; I have eaten two eggs and a plate of bacon for breakfast,
-and should doubtless be looking forward now to lunch if my thoughts were
-not so much more pleasantly employed.”
-
-“Are you thinking, then, that you will soon be well enough to go away?”
-
-“I am thinking,” I reply, “that for some days I shall still be invalid
-enough to lie here and talk to you.”
-
-She does not look up at this, but I can see a charming smile steal over
-her face and stay there while I look at her.
-
-“Who did you say these things to last?” she inquires, presently, still
-looking at her work.
-
-“What things? That I am fond of luncheon--or that I am fond of you?”
-
-“I meant,” she replies, looking at me this time with the archest glance,
-“what girl did you last tell that you were fond of her?”
-
-Now, honestly, I cannot answer this question off-hand with accuracy. I
-should have to think, and that is not good for an invalid.
-
-“I cannot tell you, because I do not remember her.” I reply.
-
-She puts a wrong construction on this--as I had anticipated.
-
-“I don't believe you,” she says. “I am sure you must have said these
-things before.”
-
-“If you think my words are false, how can I help myself?” I ask, with
-the air of one impaled upon an ignited stake, yet resigned to this
-position. “I dare not dispute with you, even to save my character, for
-fear you become angry and leave me.”
-
-She smiles again, gives me another dazzling glance, and then, with the
-elusiveness of woman, turns the subject to this wonderful piece of work
-that she is doing.
-
-“What do you think of this flower?” she asks.
-
-To obtain the critical reply she desires entails her coming to the side
-of the couch and holding one edge of the work while I hold the other.
-Then I endeavor to hold both edges and somehow find myself holding her
-hand as well. It happens so naturally that she takes no notice of this
-occurrence but stands there smiling down at me and talking of this
-flower while I look up at her face and talk also of the flower. In fact,
-she seems first conscious of that chance encounter of hands when a step
-is heard in the passage. Then, indeed, she withdraws to her seat and
-the very faintest rise in color might be distinguished by one who had
-acquired the habit of looking at her closely.
-
-It was Dick Shafthead who entered, in riding-breeches and top-boots. I
-may say, by-the-way, that he had not been reduced to a bicycle. On the
-contrary, he made an excellent display upon a horse for one who affected
-to be too poor to ride.
-
-“My horse went lame,” he explained, “so I thought I'd come back and have
-a look at the patient.”
-
-From his look I could sec that he was unprepared to find me already
-provided with a nurse. Not that it was the first time she had been
-here--but then I did not happen to have mentioned that to Dick. In a few
-moments Amy left us and he looked with a quizzical smile first at the
-door through which she had gone and then at me.
-
-“You take it turn about, I see,” he said. “I didn't know the arrangement
-or I shouldn't have interrupted.”
-
-“I beg your pardon?” I replied. “Either my head is still somewhat
-confused or I do not understand English as well as I thought.”
-
-“I imagined Teddy was having a walk-over,” said he, with a laugh.
-
-None are so quick of apprehension as the jealous. Already a dark
-suspicion smote me.
-
-“Do you allude to Miss Trevor-Hudson?” I asked.
-
-“Who else?”
-
-“And you thought Teddy was having what you call a walk-over?”
-
-“I did,” said Dick. “But it is none of my business.”
-
-“It is my business,” I replied, “to see that this charming lady does
-not have her name associated with a man she only regards as the merest
-acquaintance.”
-
-“Has she told you that is how she looks on Teddy?”
-
-“She has.”
-
-Dick laughed outright.
-
-“What are your hours?” he asked. “When does Miss Hudson visit the
-sick-bed?”
-
-“If you must know,” I replied, “she has had the kindness to visit me
-every morning; also in the evening.”
-
-“Then Teddy has the afternoons,” said he.
-
-“But he has been hunting.”
-
-“He comes home after lunch, I notice,” laughed Dick.
-
-“I became angry.
-
-“Do you mean that Miss Hudson--”
-
-“Is an incorrigible flirt? Yes,” said he.
-
-“Shafthead, you go too far!” I cried.
-
-“My dear monsieur, I withdraw and I apologize,” he answers, with his
-most disarming smile. “Have it as you wish. Only--don't let her make a
-fool of you.”
-
-He turned and walked out of the room whistling, and I was left to
-digest this dark thought.
-
-Certainly it was true that I did not see much of her in the afternoons,
-but then, I argued, she had doubtless household duties. Her mother was
-an affected woman who loved posing as an invalid and had stayed in her
-room ever since the ball. Therefore she had to entertain the guests;
-and, now I came to think of it, Lumme would naturally press his suit
-whenever he saw a chance, and how could she protect herself? Certainly
-she could never compare that ridiculous little man with--well, with any
-one you please. It was absurd! I laughed at the thought. Yet I became
-particularly anxious to see her again.
-
-[Illustration: 0150]
-
-In the evening she came for a few minutes to cheer my solitude. She
-could not stay; yet she sat down. I must be very sensible; yet she
-listened to my compliments with a smile. She was ravishing in her simple
-dress of white, that cost, I should like to wager, some fabulous price
-in Paris; she was charming; she was kind. Yes, she had been created to
-be a temptation to man, like the diamonds in her hair; and she perfectly
-understood her mission. Inevitably man must wish to play with her, to
-caress her, to have her all to himself; and inevitably he must get into
-that state when he is willing to pay any price for this possession. And
-she was willing to make him--and not unwilling to make another pay also.
-Indeed, I do not think she could conceivably have had too many admirers.
-
-But I did not criticise her thus philosophically that evening. Instead,
-I said to her:
-
-“I was afraid I should not see you till to-morrow--and perhaps not
-to-morrow.”
-
-“Not to-morrow?” she asked. “Are you going away, after all?”
-
-“I shall be here; but you?”
-
-“And I suppose I must visit my patient.”
-
-“But if Mr. Lumme does not go hunting--will you then have time to
-spare?”
-
-She rose and said, as if offended, “I don't think you want to see me
-very much.”
-
-Yet she did not go. On the contrary, she stood so close to me that I was
-able to seize her hand and draw her towards me.
-
-“Ah, no!” I cried, “Give me my turn!”
-
-“Your turn?” she asked, drawing away a little.
-
-“Yes; what can I hope for but a brief turn? I am but one of your
-admirers, and if you are kind to all--”
-
-I paused. She gave me a bright glance, a little smile that drove away
-all prudence.
-
-“Amy!” I cried; “I have something to give you!”
-
-And I gave her--a kiss.
-
-She protested, but not very stoutly.
-
-[Illustration: 0152]
-
-“I have something else,” I said. And I was about to present her with a
-very similar offering--indeed, I was almost in the act of presentation,
-when she started from me with a cry of, “Let me go!” and before I could
-detain her she had fled from the room. In her flight she passed a man
-who was standing at the door, and it was he who spoke next.
-
-“You damned, scoundrelly frog-eater!” he remarked.
-
-It was the voice of my rival, Lumme!
-
-“Ah, monsieur!” I exclaimed, springing up. “You have come to act the
-spy, I see.”
-
-“I haven't,” he replied. “I came for Miss Hudson--and I came just in
-time, too!”
-
-“No,” I said, “not just; half a minute after.”
-
-“You dirty, sneaky, French beast!” he cried. “I bring you to a decent
-house--the first you've ever been to--and you go shamming * sick to get
-a chance of insulting a virtuous girl!”
-
-“Shamming!” I cried. “Insulting! What words are these?”
-
-“Do you mean to say you aren't shamming? You can walk as well as me!”
-
-     * It is a legend among the English that we subsist
-     principally upon frogs.---D'H.
-
-Unquestionably I was more recovered than I had admitted to myself while
-convalescence was so pleasant, and now I had risen from my couch I
-discovered, to my surprise, that there seemed little the matter with
-me. That, however, could not excuse the imputation. Besides, I had been
-addressed by several epithets, each one of which conveyed an insult.
-
-“You vile, low, little English pig!” I replied; “you know the
-consequences of your language, I suppose?”
-
-“I'm glad to see it makes you sit up,” he replied.
-
-I advanced a step and struck him on the face, and then, seeing that he
-was about to assault me with his fists, I laid him on the floor with a
-well-directed kick on the chest.
-
-“Now,” I said, as he rose, “will you fight, or are you afraid?”
-
-“Fight?” he screamed. “Yes; if you'll fight fair, you kicking froggy!”
-
-“As to the weapons,” I replied, “I am willing to leave that question in
-the hands of our seconds--swords or pistols--it is all the same to me.”
-
-He looked for a moment a little taken aback by my readiness.
-
-“Ah,” I smiled, “you do not enjoy the prospect very much?”
-
-“If you think I'm going to funk you with any dashed weapons, you are
-mistaken,” said Teddy, hotly. “We don't fight like that in England, but
-I won't stand upon that. My second is Dick Shafthead.”
-
-“And I shall request Mr. Tonks to act for me,” I replied. “The sooner
-the better, I presume?”
-
-“To-morrow morning will suit me,” said he.
-
-“Very well,” I answered. “I shall now send a note by my servant to Mr.
-Tonks.”
-
-I bowed with scrupulous politeness, and he, with an endeavor to imitate
-this courtesy, withdrew.
-
-Then I rang for Halfred.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XV
-
-
-“_An animal I should define as a man who fights in a sensible way for a
-reasonable end._”
-
-
-[Illustration: 9156]
-
-XTRACT from my journal at this time:
-
-“Wednesday Night.
-
-“All is arranged. Tonks and Shafthead have endeavored to dissuade
-us, but words have passed that cannot be overlooked, and Lumme is as
-resolute to fight as I. I must do him that credit. At last, seeing
-that we are determined, they have consented to act if we will leave all
-arrangements in their hands. We are both of us willing, and all we know
-is that we meet at daybreak to-morrow in a place to be selected by our
-seconds. Even the weapons have not yet been decided. Should I fall and
-this writing pass into the hands of others, I wish them to know that
-these two gentlemen, Mr. La Rabide, Shafthead and Mr. Tonks, have done
-their best to procure a bloodless issue. In these circumstances I also
-wish Mr. Lumme to know that I fully forgive him.
-
-“My will is now made, and Halfred is remembered in it. Another, too,
-will not find herself forgotten. My watch and chain and my signet-ring I
-have bequeathed to Amy. Farewell, dear maiden! Do not altogether forget
-me!
-
-“Halfred is perturbed, poor fellow, at the chance of losing a master
-whom, I think, he has already learned to venerate. Yet he has a fine
-spirit, and it is his chief regret that the etiquette of the duel will
-not permit him to be a spectator.
-
-“'Aim at 'is wind, sir,' he advised me. 'That oughter double 'im up if
-you gets 'im fair. And perhaps, sir, if you was to give 'im the second
-barrel somewhere about the point of 'is jaw, sir, things would be made
-more certain-like.'
-
-“'And what if he aims at these places himself?' I asked.
-
-“'Duck, sir, the minute you see 'im a-pulling of his trigger--like this,
-sir.'
-
-“He showed me how to 'duck' scientifically, and I gravely thanked him.
-I had not the heart to tell how different are the fatal circumstances of
-the duel, his devotion touched me so. I have told him to lay out my best
-dark suit, a white shirt, my patent-leather boots, and a black tie that
-will not make a mark for the bullet. He is engaged at present in packing
-the rest of my things, for, whatever the issue, I cannot stay longer
-here. Farewell again. Amy! Now I shall write to my friends in France,
-and warn them of the possibilities that may arise. Then to bed!”
-
-I have given this extract at length, that it may be seen how grave we
-all considered the situation, and also to disprove the common idea that
-Englishmen do not regard the duel seriously. They are, however, a nation
-of sportsmen, whose warfare is waged against the “furs and feathers.”
- and the refinements of single combat practised elsewhere are little
-appreciated, as will presently appear.
-
-It was scarcely yet daylight when I left my room, and with a little
-difficulty made my way along dim corridors and down shadowy stairs to
-the garden door, by which it had been decided we could most stealthily
-escape to the rendezvous. Through the trimmed evergreens and the paths
-where the leaf-fall of the night still lay unswept I picked my course
-upon a quiet foot that left plain traces in the dew, but made no sound
-to rouse the sleeping house. A wicket-gate led me out into the park, and
-there I followed a path towards an oak paling that formed the boundary
-along that side. At the end of this path a gate in the paling took me
-into a narrow lane, and this gate was to be our rendezvous.
-
-As I advanced, I saw between the trees a solitary figure leaning against
-the paling, and I was assured that my adversary at least had not failed
-me. Looking back, I next caught sight of the seconds following me, and
-I delayed my steps so that I only reached Lumme a minute or so before
-them. We raised our hats and bowed in silence. He looked pale, but I
-could not deny that his expression was full of spirit, and I felt for
-him that respect which a brave man always inspires in one of my martial
-race.
-
-His costume I certainly took exception to, for, instead of the decorous
-garments called for by the occasion, he was attired in a light check
-suit, with leather leggings and a pale-blue waistcoat, and, indeed,
-rather suggested a morning's sport than the business we had come upon.
-This, however, might be set down to his inexperience, and, as a matter
-of fact, he was outdone by our seconds, for, in addition to wearing
-somewhat similar clothes, they each carried a gun and a cartridge-bag.
-Evidently, I thought, they had brought these to disarm suspicion in
-case the party were observed. Their demeanor was beyond reproach, and,
-indeed, surprising, considering that they had never before acted
-either as principals or seconds. They raised their hats and bowed with
-formality.
-
-“Good-morning, gentlemen,” said Shafthead.
-
-He took the lead throughout, my second, Tonks, concurring in everything
-he said.
-
-“You still wish to fight?”
-
-Lumme and I both bowed.
-
-“You both refuse to settle your differences amicably?”
-
-“I refuse,” replied Lumme.
-
-“And I, certainly,” I said.
-
-“Very well,” said Dick, “it only remains to assure you that the loser
-will be decently interred.”
-
-Here both he and Tonks were obviously affected by a very natural
-emotion; with a distinct effort he cleared his throat and resumed:
-
-“And to tell you the conditions of the combat. Here are the weapons.”
-
-Conceive our astonishment when we were each solemnly handed a
-double-barrelled shot-gun and a bagful of No. 5 cartridges! Even Lumme
-recognized the unsuitability of these firearms.
-
-“I say, hang it!” he exclaimed; “I'm not going to fight with these!”
-
-“Tonks, I protest!” I said, warmly. “This is absurd.”
-
-“Only things you're going to get,” replied Tonks, stolidly.
-
-“Gentlemen,” said Shafthead, with more courtesy, “you have agreed to
-fight in any method we decide. If you back out now we can only suppose
-that you are afraid of getting hurt--and in that case why do you fight
-at all?”
-
-“All right, then,” replied Lumme, with an _élan_ I must give him every
-credit for; “I'm game.”
-
-“And I am in your hands,” said I, with a shrug that was intended to
-protest, not against the danger, but the absurdity of the weapons. “At
-what distance do we stand?”
-
-“In that matter we propose to introduce another novelty” replied Dick.
-
-“To make it more sporting,” explained Tonks. “Just so,” said Dick. “You
-see that plantation? We are going to put one of you in one end and the
-other in the other; you have each fifty cartridges, and you can fire
-as soon as you meet and as often as you please. One of the seconds will
-remain at either end to welcome the survivor.”
-
-“Oh, that's not a bad idea,” said Lumme, brightening up.
-
-I had my own opinion on this unheard-of innovation, but I kept it to
-myself.
-
-“Now you toss for ends,” said Tonks. “Call.” He spun a shilling, and
-Lumme called “Heads.”
-
-“Heads it is,” said Tonks. “Which end?”
-
-“It doesn't make much difference, I suppose,” replied Teddy. “I'll start
-from this end.”
-
-“Right you are,” said Dick. “Au revoir, monsieur. When you are ready to
-enter the wood fire a cartridge to let us know. Here is an extra one I
-have left for signalling.”
-
-I bowed and followed my second across the lane and through a narrow gate
-in a high hedge that bounded the side farthest from the park. Lumme was
-left with Shafthead in the lane to make his way to the nearest end
-of the wood, so that I should see no more of him till we met gun to
-shoulder in the thickets. I confess that at that moment I could think
-only of our past friendship and his genial virtues, and it was with a
-great effort that I forced myself to recall his insults and harden my
-heart.
-
-We now walked down a long field shut in by trees on either hand. At the
-farther end from the lane these plantations almost met, so that they
-and the hedge enclosed the field all the way round except for one narrow
-gap. Here Tonks stopped and turned.
-
-“You enter here,” he said, indicating the wood on the right-hand side of
-this gap, “and you work your way back till you meet him. By-the-way,
-if you happen to hear shots anywhere else pay no attention. The keeper
-often comes out after rabbits in the early morning.”
-
-“But if he hears us?” I asked.
-
-“Oh, we've made that right He knows we are out shooting. Good luck.”
-
-I would at least have clasped the hand of possibly the last man I should
-ever talk with. I should have left some message, said something; but
-with the phlegmatic coolness of his nation he had turned away before
-I had time to reply. For a moment I watched him strolling nonchalantly
-from me with his hands in his pockets, and then I fired my gun in the
-air and stepped into the trees.
-
-Well, it might be an unorthodox method of duelling, but there could be
-no questioning the element of hazard and excitement. Here was I at
-one end of a narrow belt of trees, not thirty yards wide and nearly a
-quarter of a mile in length, and from the other came a man seeking my
-life. Every moment must bring us nearer together, till before long each
-thicket, each tree-stem, might conceal the muzzle of his gun. And the
-trees and undergrowth were dense enough to afford shelter to a whole
-company.
-
-Three plans only were possible. First, I might remain where I was and
-trust to catching him unnerved, and perhaps careless, at the end of a
-long and fruitless search. But this I dismissed at once as unworthy of
-a man of spirit, and, indeed, impossible for my temperament. Secondly,
-I might advance at an even pace and probably meet him about the middle.
-This also I dismissed as being the procedure he would naturally expect
-me to adopt. Finally, I might advance with alacrity and encounter him
-before I was expected. And this was the scheme I adopted.
-
-At a good pace I pushed my way through the branches and the thorns,
-wishing now, I must confess, that I had adopted a costume more suitable
-for this kind of warfare, till I had turned the corner of the field and
-advanced for a little distance up the long side. While I was walking
-down with Tonks I had taken the precaution of noting a particularly
-large pine which seemed as nearly as possible the half-way mark, but now
-a disconcerting reflection struck me. That pine was, indeed, half-way
-down the side of the field, but I had also had half of the end to
-traverse, so that the point at which we should meet, going at a similar
-pace, would be considerably nearer than I had calculated. Supposing,
-then, that Lumme was also hastening to meet me, he might even now be
-close at hand! I crouched behind a thorn-bush and listened.
-
-It was a still, delightful morning; the sun just risen; the air fresh;
-no motion in the branches. Every little sound could be distinctly heard,
-and presently I heard one; a something moving in another thicket not ten
-paces away. I raised my gun, aimed carefully, and pulled the trigger.
-
-The stealthy sound ceased, and instead a pheasant flew screaming out of
-the wood. No longer could there be any doubt of my position. I
-executed a strategic retreat for a short distance to upset my enemy's
-calculations and waited for his approach. But I heard nothing except two
-or three shots from the plantation across the field, where the keeper
-had evidently begun his shooting. I advanced again, though more
-cautiously, but in a very short time was brought to a sudden stand-still
-by a movement in a branch overhead. The diabolical thought flashed
-through my mind, “He is aiming at me from a tree!”
-
-Instantly I raised my gun and discharged both barrels into the leaves.
-There came down, not Lumme, but a squirrel; yet the incident inspired
-me with an idea. I chose a suitable tree, and, having scrambled up with
-some difficulty (which was not lessened by the thought that I might be
-shot in the act), I waited for my rival to pass below.
-
-[Illustration: 0166]
-
-Five minutes passed--ten--fifteen. I heard more shots from the keeper's
-gun. I slew two foxes and a pheasant which were ill-advised enough to
-make a suspicious stir in the undergrowth; but not a sign of Lumme. I
-had not even heard him fire one shot since the duel began. Some mystery
-here, evidently. Perhaps he was waiting patiently for me to approach
-within a few paces of the lane whence he started. And I--should I court
-his cartridges by falling into a trap I had thought of laying myself?
-
-Yet one of us must move, or we should be the laughing-stock of the
-country-side, and if one of two must attack, the brave man can be in no
-doubt as to which that is. I descended, and with infinite precautions
-slowly pushed my way forward, raking with my shot every bush that might
-conceal a foe. Suddenly between the trees I saw a man--undoubtedly a man
-this time. I put my hand in my cartridge-bag. One cartridge remaining,
-besides two in my chambers; three cartridges against a man who had still
-left fifty! Yet three would be sufficient if I could but get them home.
-
-Carefully I crept on my hands and knees to within a dozen paces; then
-I raised my head, and behold! it was Tonks I saw standing in the lane
-leaning against the paling of the park! But Lumme? Ah, I had it. He had
-fled!
-
-Shouldering my gun, I stepped out of the wood.
-
-“Hillo!” cried Tonks. “Bagged him?”
-
-“No,” I said.
-
-“Been hit?” he asked. “You look in rather a mess.”
-
-And indeed I did, for my clothes had been rent by the thorns, my face
-and my hands torn, and doubtless I showed also some mental signs of the
-ordeal I had been through. For remember that though I had not met an
-adversary, I had braved the risk of it at every step. And I had made
-those steps.
-
-“No,” I replied. “I have not even been fired at.”
-
-“I heard a regular cannonade,” he said.
-
-“Forty-seven times have I fired at a venture,” I answered. “And I have
-not been inaccurate in my aim. In that wood you will find the bodies of
-four squirrels, five pheasants, and two foxes.”
-
-“But where is Lumme?” he inquired.
-
-“Fled,” I replied, with an intonation of contempt I could not conceal.
-
-“What! funked it?”
-
-“I saw no sign of him.”
-
-“By Jove! that's bad,” said Tonks, though in so matter-of-course a
-tone that I was astonished. A man of a sluggish spirit, I fear, was my
-cricketing second.
-
-“Let us call Shafthead,” I said. “For myself, my honor is satisfied, and
-I shall leave him and you to deal with the runaway.”
-
-We walked together along the lane till we came to the gate in the hedge
-through which we had started for the wood. Through this we could see
-right down the field, and there, coming towards us, walked Shafthead and
-Lumme.
-
-“The devil!” I exclaimed.
-
-“By Jove!” said Tonks.
-
-“Can you explain this?” I asked him.
-
-“I? No; unless you passed each other.”
-
-“Passed!” I cried, scornfully.
-
-I threw the gate open and advanced to meet them. To my surprise, Lumme
-looked at me with no sign of shame, but rather with indignation.
-
-“Well,” he cried to me, “you're a fine man to fight a duel. Been in a
-ditch?”
-
-“Poltroon!” I replied. “Where did you hide yourself?”
-
-“I hide?” said he. “Where have you been hiding?”
-
-“Do you mean to tell me that you men never met?” asked Shafthead.
-
-“Never!” we cried together.
-
-“Tonks,” said he, “into which plantation did you put your man?”
-
-“The right-hand one,” said Tonks.
-
-“The right!” exclaimed Dick. “Then you have been in different woods! Oh,
-Tonks, this is scandalous!”
-
-But my second had already turned his head away, and seemed so bowed by
-contrition that my natural anger somewhat relented.
-
-“Possibly your own directions were not clear,” I suggested.
-
-“Ah,” said Dick, “I see how it was! He must have turned round, and that
-made his right hand his left.”
-
-“Well,” said Lumme, “you've made a nice mess of it. What's to be done
-now?”
-
-[Illustration: 0169]
-
-“I am in my second's hands,” I replied.
-
-“And I think you've fought enough,” said Tonks. “How many cartridges did
-you fire, Lumme?”
-
-“Thirty-two,” said he.
-
-“Well, hang it, you've loosed seventy-nine cartridges between you, and
-that's more than any other duellists I ever heard of. Let's pull up the
-sticks * and come in to breakfast.”
-
-     * “Pull up sticks”--a football metaphor.--D'H.
-
-“Is honor satisfied?” asked Dick, who had more appreciation of the
-delicacies of such a sentiment than my prosaic second.
-
-Lumme and I glanced at each other, and we remembered now our past
-intimacy; also, perhaps, the strain of that fruitless search for each
-other among those thorny woods.
-
-“Mine is,” said Lumme.
-
-“Mine also,” said I.
-
-And thus ended what so nearly was a fatal encounter.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XVI
-
-
-                   “Heed my words! Beware of women,
-
-                   Shallowest when overbrimming
-
-                   Deepest when they wish you well!
-
-                   Tears and trifles, lace and laughter,
-
-                   The Deuce alone knows what they're after--
-
-                   And he's too much involved to tell.”
-
-                        --Anon.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9171]
-
-E all walked back from the field of battle in a highly amicable frame
-of mind. Going across the park, Lumme and I fell a little behind our
-seconds and conversed with the friendliness of two men who have learned
-to respect each other. We had cordially shaken hands, we laughed, we
-even jested about the hazards we had escaped--one would think that no
-more complete understanding could be desired. Yet there was still a
-little thorn pricking us both, a thorn that did not come from the woods
-in which we had waged battle, but lived in the peaceful house before us.
-Our talk flagged; we were silent. Then Teddy abruptly remarked:
-
-“I say, I don't want to rake up by-gones and that sort of thing, don't
-you know, but--er--you mustn't try to kiss her again, d'Haricot.”
-
-“Try?” I replied, a little nettled at this aspersion on my abilities.
-“Why not say, 'You must not kiss her again'?”
-
-“By Jove! did you?” cried Teddy, stopping.
-
-I shrugged my shoulders.
-
-“My dear Lumme, the successful man is he who lies about himself and
-holds his tongue about women.”
-
-“Be hanged!” he exclaimed.
-
-“Well, why not be?” I inquired, placidly.
-
-“I don't believe it,” he asserted.
-
-“Continue a sceptic,” I counselled.
-
-“She told me she had never kissed any one else,” he blurted out.
-
-It was now my turn to start.
-
-“Except whom?” I asked.
-
-“Me--if you must know,” said Teddy.
-
-“You kissed her?” I cried.
-
-“Well, it doesn't matter to you.”
-
-“Nor does it matter to you that I did,” I retorted.
-
-“But did you?” he asked, with such a painful look of inquiry that my
-indignation melted into humor.
-
-“My dear friend,” I replied, “I see it all now. She has deceived us
-both! We are in the same ship, as you would say; two of those fools that
-women make to pass a wet afternoon.”
-
-“You mean that she has been flirting with me?” he asked, with a
-woe-begone countenance.
-
-“Also with me,” I answered, cheerfully. For a false woman, like spilled
-cream, is not a matter worth lament.
-
-“I shall ask her,” he said, after a minute or two.
-
-“Have you ever known a woman before?” I asked.
-
-“I've known dozens of 'em,” he replied, with some indignation.
-
-“And yet you propose to ask one whether she has been true to you?”
-
-“Why shouldn't I?”
-
-“Because, my friend, you will receive such an answer as a minister gives
-to a deputation.”
-
-“But they might both tell the truth.”
-
-“Neither ever lies,” I replied. “Diplomacy and Eve were invented to
-obviate the necessity'.”
-
-This aphorism appeared to give him some food for reflection--or possibly
-he was merely silenced by a British disgust for anything that was not
-the roast beef of conversation.
-
-We had come among the terraces and the trim yews and hollies of the
-garden. The long west wing of Seneschal Court with the high tower above
-it were close before us. Suddenly he stopped behind the shelter of a
-pruned and castellated hedge, and, with the air of a lost traveller
-seeking for guidance, asked me, “I say, what are you going to do?”
-
-“Return to London this morning.”
-
-[Illustration: 0174]
-
-“Why?”
-
-“For the same reason that I leave the table when dinner is over.”
-
-“You won't see her again?”
-
-“See her? Yes, as I should see the remains of my meal were I to pass
-through the diningroom. But I shall not sit down again.”
-
-I do not think Teddy quite appreciated this metaphor.
-
-“Don't you think she is--” he began, but had some difficulty in finding
-a word.
-
-“Well served?” I suggested.
-
-“No.”
-
-“Digestible, then? No, my friend. I do not think she is very digestible
-either for you or for me. We get pains inside and little nourishment.”
-
-“I like her awfully,” said poor Teddy.
-
-“Who would not?” I replied. “If a girl is beautiful, charming, not too
-chary of her favors, and yet not inartistically lavish; if she knows how
-to let a smile spring gently from an artless dimple, how to aim a bright
-eye and shake a light curl; and if she is not too fully occupied with
-others to spare one an hour or two of these charms, who would not like
-her? Personally, I should adore her--while it lasted.”
-
-“Do you really think she isn't all she seems?” he asked, in a doleful
-voice.
-
-“On the contrary, I think she is more; considerably more. My dear Lumme,
-I have studied this girl dispassionately, critically, as I would a
-work of art offered me for sale, and I pronounce my opinion in three
-words--she is false! I counsel you, my friend, to leave with me this
-morning.”
-
-“And I should advise you to take this _gentleman's_ advice,” exclaimed
-a voice behind us, in a tone that I cannot call friendly. We turned,
-possibly with more precipitation than dignity, to see Miss Amy herself
-within five paces of us. Evidently she had just appeared round the edge
-of the castellated hedge, though how long she had been standing on the
-other side I cannot pretend to guess. Long enough, at any rate, to give
-her a very flushed face and an eye that sparkled more brightly than
-ever. Indeed, I never saw her to more advantage.
-
-“How dare you!” she cried, tears threatening in her voice; “how _dare_
-you--talk of me so!”
-
-“Mademoiselle--” I began, with conciliatory humility.
-
-“Don't speak to me!” she interrupted, and turned her brown eyes to
-Lumme. Undoubted tears glistened in them now.
-
-“So you have been listening to this--this _person's_ slanders? And you
-are going away now because you have learned that I am false? I have been
-offered for sale like a work of art! He has studied me dispassionately!”
-
-Here she gave me a look whose wrathful significance I will leave you to
-imagine.
-
-“Go! Go with him! You may be sure that _I_ sha'n't ask either of you to
-stay!”
-
-Never had two men a better case against a woman, and never. I am sure,
-have two men taken less advantage of it.
-
-“Miss Hudson; I say--” began poor Teddy, in the tone rather of the
-condemned murderer than the inexorable judge.
-
-“Don't answer me!” she cried, and turned the eyes back to me.
-
-The tears still glistened, but anger shone through them.
-
-“As for you--You--you--_brute!_”
-
-“Pardon me,” I replied, in a reasonable tone, “the conversation you
-overheard was intended for another.”
-
-“Yes,” she exclaimed, “while you are trying to force your odious
-attentions on me, you are attacking me all the time behind my back.”
-
-“Behind a hedge,” I corrected, as pleasantly as possible.
-
-But this did not appear to mollify her.
-
-“You think every woman you meet is in love with you, I suppose,” she
-sneered. “Well, you may be interested to know that we all think you
-simply a ridiculous little Frenchman.”
-
-[Illustration: 0178]
-
-“Little!” I exclaimed, justly incensed at this unprovoked and untrue
-attack. “What do you then call my friend?”
-
-For Lumme was considerably smaller than I, and might indeed have been
-termed short.
-
-“He knows what I think of him,” she answered; and with this ambiguous
-remark (accompanied by an equally ambiguous flash of her brown eyes at
-Teddy), she turned scornfully and hurried to the house.
-
-For a moment we stood silent, looking somewhat foolishly at each other.
-
-“You've done it now,” said Teddy, at length.
-
-“I have,” I replied, my equanimity returning.
-
-“I suppose I'll have to clear out too. Hang it, you needn't have got me
-into a mess like this,” said he, in an injured tone.
-
-“Better a mess than a snare,” I retorted. “Let us look up a good train,
-eat some breakfast, and shake the dust of this house from our feet.”
-
-He made no answer, and when we got to the house he tacitly agreed to
-accompany Shafthead and myself by the 11.25 train.
-
-My things were packed. Halfred and a footman were even piling them on
-the carriage, and I was making my adieux, when I observed this dismissed
-suitor enter the hall with his customary cheerful air and no sign of
-departure about him.
-
-“Are you ready? I asked him.
-
-“They've asked me to stay till to-morrow,” he replied, with a conscious
-look he could not conceal, “and--er--well, there's really no necessity
-for going to-day. Good-bye--see you soon in town.”
-
-“Good-bye,” said Amy, sweetly, but with a look in her eyes that belied
-her voice. “I am so glad we have been able to persuade _one_ of you to
-stay a little longer.”
-
-“Better a little fish than an empty dish,” I said to myself, and
-revolving this useful maxim in my mind I departed from Seneschal Court.
-
-[Illustration: 0179]
-
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XVII
-
-
-“_I tell thee in thine ear, he is a man 'Tis wiser thou shoutdst drink
-with than affront!_”
-
---Ben Verulam.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9180]
-
-UT what is in it?”
-
-“I don't know, sir,” said Mr. Titch. I had just got back to my rooms and
-stood facing a gigantic packing-case that had appeared in my absence. It
-was labelled, “For Mr. Balfour, care of M. d'Haricot. Not to be opened.”
- Not another word of explanation, not a letter, not a message, nothing to
-throw light on the mystery. The three Titches and Halfred stood beside
-me also gazing at this strange offering.
-
-“Could it be fruit, sir?” suggested Mrs. Titch, in her foolishly wise
-fashion.
-
-“Fruit!” said Aramatilda, scornfully. “It must weigh near on a ton.”
-
-“You 'aven't ordered any furniture inadvertently, as it were, sir?”
- asked Halfred, scratching his head, sagely.
-
-“If anybody has ordered this it is evidently Mr. Balfour,” I replied.
-
-“Who is Mr. Balfour, sir?” said Aramatilda.
-
-“Do you know?” I asked Mr. Titch.
-
-My landlord looked solemn, as he always did when speaking of the great.
-
-“There is the Right Honorable Arthur Balfour, nephew to the Marquis--”
-
-“Yes, yes,” I interrupted; “but I do not think that admirable statesman
-would confide his purchases to me.”
-
-“Then, sir,” said Mr. Titch, with an air of washing his hands of all
-lesser personages, “I give it up.”
-
-“I wish you could,” I replied, “but I fear it must remain here for the
-present.”
-
-They left my room casting lingering glances at the monstrosity, and once
-I was alone my curiosity quickly died away. I felt lonely and
-depressed. Parting from a houseful of guests and the cheerful air of a
-country-house, I realized how foreign, after all, this city was to me.
-I had acquaintances; I could find my way through the streets; but what
-else? Ah, if I were in Paris now! That name spelled Heaven as I said it
-over and over to myself.
-
-I said it the oftener that I might not say “woman.” What mockery in that
-word! Yet I felt that I must find relief. I opened my journal and this
-is what I wrote:
-
-“To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.--Foolish friend, beware of those things
-they call eyes, of that substance they term hair, of that abstraction
-known as a smile, and, above all, beware of those twin lies styled lips.
-They kiss but in the intervals of kissing others; they speak but to
-deceive. Nevermore shall I regard a woman more seriously than I do this
-pretty, revolving ring of cigarette smoke.
-
-“I am twenty-five, and romance is over. Follow thou my counsel and my
-example.”
-
-Outside it rained--hard, continuously, without room for a hope of
-sunshine, as it only rains in England, I think. Perhaps I may be unjust,
-but certainly never before have I been so wet through to the soul.
-I threw down my pen, I went to the piano, and I began to play “L'Air
-Bassinette” of Verdi. Gently at first I played, and then more loudly and
-yet more loudly. So carried away was I that I began to sing.
-
-Now at last the rain is inaudible; my heart is growing light again, when
-above my melody I hear a most determined knocking on the door. Before
-I have time to rise, it opens, and there enters--my neighbor, the old
-General. Is it that he loves music so much? No, I scarcely think so. His
-face is not that of the ravished dolphin; on the contrary, his eyes are
-bright with an emotion that is not pleasure, his face is brilliant with
-a choleric flush. I turn and face him.
-
-“Pray do not stop your pandemonium on my account,” he says, with
-sarcastic politeness. “I have endured it for half an hour, and I now
-purpose to leave this house and not return till you are exhausted, sir.”
-
-“I am obliged to you for your permission,” I reply, with equal
-politeness, “and I shall now endeavor to win my bet.”
-
-“Your bet, sir?” he inquires, with scarcely stifled indignation.
-
-“I have made a bet that I shall play and sing for thirty-six consecutive
-hours,” I explain.
-
-“Then, sir, I shall interdict you, as sure as there is law in England!”
-
-“Have you now explained the object of this visit?” I inquire.
-
-“No, sir, I have not. I came in here to request you to make yourself
-personally known to your disreputable confederates in order that they
-may not mistake _me_ for a damned Bulgarian anarchist--or whatever your
-country and profession happen to be.”
-
-“May I ask _you_ to explain this courteous yet ambiguous demand?”
-
-“Certainly, sir; and I trust you may see fit to put an end to
-the nuisance. Two days ago I was accosted as I was leaving this
-house--leaving the door of my own house, sir, I would have you remark! A
-dashed half-hanged scoundrel came up to me and had the impudence to tell
-me he wanted to speak to me. 'Well,' I said, “what is your business,
-sir?'
-
-“'My name is Hankey,' said he.”
-
-“Hankey!” I exclaimed.
-
-“Yes, sir, Hankey. You know him, then?”
-
-“By name only.”
-
-“Then, sir, I had the advantage over you,” said the General, irately. “I
-didn't know the scoundrel from Beelzebub--and I told him so. Upon that,
-sir, he had the audacity to throw out a hint that my friends--as he
-called his dashed gang of cut-throats--were keeping an _eye_ on me. I
-pass the hint on to you, sir, having no acquaintance myself with such
-gentry!”
-
-“And was that all that passed?” I asked, feeling too amazed and too
-interested to take offence.
-
-“No, sir, not all--but quite enough for my taste, I assure you. I said
-to him, 'Sir,' I said, 'I know your dashed name and I may now tell you
-that mine is General Sholto; that I am not the man to be humbugged like
-this, and that I propose to introduce you to the first policeman I see.'
-Gad, you should have seen the rogue jump! Then it seemed that he had
-done me the honor of mistaking me for you, sir, and I must ask you to
-have the kindness to take such steps as will enable your confederates to
-know you when they see you, or, by George! I'll put the whole business
-into the hands of the police!”
-
-I felt strongly tempted to let my indignant fellow-lodger adopt this
-course, for my feelings towards the absentee tenant of Mount Olympus
-House could not be described as cordial, and the impudence of his
-attempt to threaten me took my breath away; but then the thought struck
-me, “This man is an agent--though I fear an unworthy one--of the Cause.
-I must sink my own grievances!” Accordingly, with a polite air, I
-endeavored to lull my neighbor's suspicions, assuring him that it was
-only a tailor's debt the conspiring Hankey sought from me, and that I
-would settle the account and abate the nuisance that very afternoon.
-
-He seemed a little mollified; to the extent, at least, that his thunder
-became a more distant rumble.
-
-“I don't want to ask too many favors at once, sir,” he said; “but I fear
-I must also request you to remove your piano to the basement for the
-next six-and-thirty hours. I shall not stand it, sir, I warn you!”
-
-“My dear sir,” I cried, “that was but a--how does the immortal
-Shakespeare call it?--a countercheck quarrelsome--that was all. I should
-not have sung at all had I known you disliked music.”
-
-“Music! music!” exclaimed my visitor, with an expressive blending of
-contempt and indignation. Then, in a milder tone, yet with the most
-crushing, irony, continued: “I go to every musical piece in London--and
-enjoy 'em sir; all of 'em. I've even sat out a concert in the Albert
-Hall; so if I'm not musical, what the deuce am I?”
-
-“It is evident,” I replied.
-
-“I might even appreciate your efforts, sir. Very possibly I would, very
-possibly, supposing I heard 'em at a reasonable hour,” said the General,
-with magnanimity that will one day send him to heaven. “But it is my
-habit, sir, to take a--ah--a rest in the afternoon, and--er--er--well,
-it's deuced disturbing.”
-
-This is but the echo of the storm among the hills. The wrath of my
-gallant neighbor is evidently all but evaporated.
-
-“A thousand apologies, sir. If you will be good enough to tell me at
-what hours my playing is disturbing to you, I shall regulate my melody
-accordingly.”
-
-“Much obliged; much obliged. I don't want to stop you altogether,
-don't you know,” says my visitor, and abruptly inquires, “Professional
-musician, I presume?”
-
-“Did I sound like it?”
-
-“Beg pardon; being a foreigner, I fancied you'd probably be--er--” He
-evidently wants to say “a Bohemian,” but fears to wound my feelings.
-
-“'A damned Bulgarian anarchist,'” I suggest.
-
-He snorts, laughs, and apparently is already inclined to smile at his
-recent heat.
-
-“I'm a bad-tempered old boy,” he says. “Pardon, mossoo.”
-
-He is ashamed, I can see, that John Bull should have condescended
-to lose his temper with a mere foreigner. This point of view is not
-flattering; but the naïveté of the old boy amuses me.
-
-“Take a seat, sir,” I now venture to suggest, “and allow me to offer you
-a little whiskey and a little soda water.”
-
-He hesitates for a moment, for he has not intended that pacification
-should go to this length; but his kindness of heart prevails. He has
-erred and he feels he must do this penance for his lack of discretion.
-So he says, “Thank you,” and down he sits.
-
-And that was the beginning of my acquaintance with my martial neighbor,
-General Sholto. In half an hour we were talking away like old friends;
-indeed, I soon began to suspect that the old gentleman felt as pleased
-as I did to have company on that wet afternoon.
-
-“I understand that you adorn the British army,” I remark.
-
-“I was a soldier, sir; I was a soldier. I would be now if I'd had the
-luck of some fellows. A superannuated fossil; that's what I am, mossoo;
-an old wreck, no use to any one.”
-
-As he says this, he draws himself up to show that the wreck still
-contains beans, as the English proverb expresses it, but the next moment
-the fire dies out of his eyes and he sits meditatively, looking suddenly
-ten years older. He did not intend me to believe his words, but to
-himself they have a meaning.
-
-I am silent.
-
-“I am one of the unemployed,” he adds, in a minute.
-
-“I also,” I reply.
-
-I like my neighbor; I am in need of a companion; and I tell him frankly
-my story. His sympathies are entirely with me.
-
-“I'm happy to meet a young man who sticks up for the decencies
-nowadays,” he says. “Bring back your King, sir, give him a free hand,
-and set us an example in veneration and respect and all the rest of it.
-You'll make a clean sweep, I suppose. Guillotine, eh? Not a bad thing if
-used on the proper people.”
-
-I am ashamed to confess how half-hearted my own theories of restoration
-are, compared with this out-and-out suggestion. I can but twist my
-mustache, and, looking as truculent as possible, mutter:
-
-“Well, well, we shall see when the time comes.”
-
-When at last he rises to leave me, he repeats with emphasis his
-conviction that republicanism should be trodden out under a heavy boot,
-and so mollified is he by my tactful treatment that as we part he even
-invites me into that carefully guarded room of his. It is not yet a
-specific invitation.
-
-“Some day soon I'll hope to see you in my own den, mossoo. Au revoir,
-sir; happy to have met you.”
-
-Yet I cannot help thinking that even this is a triumph of diplomacy. My
-spirits rise; my ridiculous humors have been charmed quite away. As for
-woman, she seems not even worth cynical comment in my journal. “Give me
-man!” I say to myself.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XVIII
-
-
-“_A drop of water on a petal in the sunshine; that same drop down thy
-neck in a cavern. Both are woman; thy mood and the occasion make the
-sole difference_.”
-
---Cervanto Y'Alvez.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9190]
-
-ECORD of an episode taken from my journal, and written upon the evening
-following my first meeting with the General:
-
-“This afternoon I decide to go to the Temple and see Dick Shafthead. We
-shall dine together quietly, and I shall vent what is left of my humors
-and be refreshed by his good-humored raillery. The afternoon is fading
-into evening as I mount his stairs; the lamps are being lit; by this
-hour he should have returned. But no; I knock and knock again, and get
-no answer.
-
-“'Well,' I say to myself, 'he cannot be long. I shall wait for him
-outside.'
-
-“I descend again to wait in that quiet and soothing court, where the
-fountain plays and the goldfish swim and the autumn leaves tremble
-overhead. Now and then one of these drops stealthily upon the pavement;
-the pigeons flit by, settle, fly off again; people pass occasionally;
-but at first that is all that happens. At last there enters a woman, who
-does not pass through, but loiters on the farther side of the fountain
-as though she were meditating--or waiting for somebody. So far as I can
-judge in the half-light and at a little distance, she is young, and her
-outline is attractive; therefore I conclude she is not meditating.
-
-“She does not see me, but I should like to see more of her. I walk round
-the fountain and come up behind her. She hears my step, turns sharply,
-and approaches, evidently prepared to greet me. Words are on the tip of
-her tongue, when abruptly she starts back. She does not know me, after
-all. But quickly, before she has time to recover herself, I raise my hat
-and say:
-
-“'I cannot be mistaken. We have met at the bishop's?'”
-
-[Illustration: 0192]
-
-“It is a happy inspiration, I think, to choose so respectable a host,
-and for a moment she is staggered. Probably she does actually know a
-bishop, and may have met a not ill-looking gentleman somewhat resembling
-myself at his house. In this moment I perceive that she is certainty
-young and very far removed, indeed, from being unattractive.
-
-“To me, meeting her dark eyes for an instant, and then seeing the fair,
-full face turn to a fair profile as she looks away in some confusion,
-she seems beyond doubt very beautiful. A simple straw hat covers her
-dark coil of hair and slopes arrogantly forward over a luminous and
-brilliant eye; her nose is straight, her mouth small, suggesting
-decision and a little petulance, her chin deep and finely moulded,
-her complexion delicate as a rare piece of alabaster, while her figure
-matches these distracting charms.
-
-“I make these notes so full that I may the better summon her to my
-memory. Also I note that the colors she wears are rich and bright; there
-is red and there is dark green; and they seem to make her beauty stand
-out with a boldness that corresponds to the dark glance of her eye. Not
-that she is anything but most modest in her demeanor, but, ah! that eye!
-Its glow betrays a fire deep underneath.
-
-“Her eye meets mine again, then she says:
-
-“'I--I don't know you. I thought you were--I mean I don't know why
-you spoke to me.'
-
-“Evidently she does not quite know how to meet the situation.
-
-“I decide that it is the duty of a gentleman to assist her.
-
-“'I spoke because I thought I knew you, and hoped for an instant I was
-remembered.'
-
-“'You had no business to,' she replies. Her air is haughty, but a
-little theatrical. I mean that she does not entirely convince me of her
-displeasure.
-
-“'Mademoiselle, I offer you a thousand apologies. I see now that if I
-had really met you before I could not possibly confuse your face with
-another's. Doubtless I ought to have been more cautious, but as you
-perhaps guess, I am a foreigner, and I do not understand the English
-customs in these matters.'
-
-“She receives this speech with so much complaisance that I feel
-emboldened to continue.
-
-“'I am also solitary, and meeting with a face I thought I knew seemed
-providential. Do you grant me your pardon?'
-
-“She gives a little laugh that is more than half friendly.
-
-“'Of course--if it was a mistake.'
-
-“'Such a pleasant mistake that I should like to continue in error,' I
-reply.
-
-“But at this she draws back, and her expression changes a little. It
-does not become altogether hostile, but it undoubtedly changes.
-
-“'May I ask you a favor?' I say, quickly, and with a modest air. 'I was
-looking for a friend and have become lost in this Temple. Can you tell
-me where number thirty-four is?'
-
-“'Yes,' she replies, with a look that penetrates, and, I think, rather
-enjoys, this simple ruse, 'it is next to number thirty-three.' And with
-that she turns to go, so abruptly that I cannot help suspecting she also
-desires to hide a smile.
-
-“But observing that I, too, shall not waste more time here, I also turn,
-and as she does not actually order me away, I walk by her side, studying
-her afresh from the corner of my eye. She is of middle height, or
-perhaps an inch above it; she walks with a peculiar swing that seems to
-say, 'I do not care one damn for anybody,' and the expression of her
-eyes and mouth bear out this sentiment.”
-
-“Does she resent my conduct?”
-
-“Yes, probably she does, though my demeanor is humility itself.”
-
-“'You came to enjoy the quiet of the Temple, mademoiselle?'”
-
-“'I was enjoying it--till I was interrupted,' she answers, still
-smiling, though not in my direction.”
-
-“I notice that she again casts her eye round the court, and I make a
-reckless shot.
-
-“'Perhaps you, too, expected to see a friend?'
-
-“The eyes blaze at me for an instant.
-
-“'No, I did not,' she says abruptly, and mends her pace still further.
-
-“'I noticed another lady here before you came,' I say, mendaciously and
-with a careless air, as though I thought it most natural that two ladies
-should rendezvous at that hour in the Temple. She gives me a quick
-glance, which I meet unruffled.
-
-“We pass through a gate and into a side street, and here, by the most
-evil fortune, a cab was standing.
-
-“'Cabman,' says the lady, abruptly, 'are you engaged?'
-
-“The next moment she has sprung into the cab, bade me a 'good-bye' that
-seems compounded of annoyance and of laughter, with perhaps a touch
-of kindness added, thrown me a swift glance of her brilliant eyes, and
-jingled out of my sight. And I have not even learned her name.
-
-“This exit of the fair Miss Unknown is made so suddenly that for half a
-minute I stand with my hat in my hand still, foolishly smiling.
-
-“Then I give an exclamation that might be deemed profane, rush round
-a corner and up a street, catch a glimpse of the back of a cab
-disappearing into the traffic of the Strand, leap into another, and bid
-my driver pursue that hansom in front.
-
-“Well, I had a spirited chase while it lasted, for my quarry had a swift
-steed, and there were many other cabs in the Strand that would have
-confused the scent for any but the most relentless sleuth-hound. It
-ended in Pall Mall, where I had the satisfaction of seeing the flying
-chariot deposit a stout gentleman before a most respectable club.
-
-“I drove to my rooms with my ardor cooled and my cynicism fast
-returning, and had almost landed at my door when a most surprising
-coincidence occurred, so surprising that I suspect it was the
-contrivance of either Providence or the devil. A cab left the door just
-as I drove up, and in it sat Miss Unknown! I was too dumfounded to turn
-in pursuit, and, besides, I was too curious to learn the reason of this
-visit.
-
-“By the greatest good luck the door was opened by Halfred, who in his
-obliging way lent his services now and then when the maid was out.
-
-“'Did she leave her name?' I cried.
-
-“'Beg pardon, sir?' said Halfred, in astonishment.
-
-“'I mean the lady who just called for me.'
-
-“'She hasked for General Sholto, sir.'
-
-“My face fell.
-
-“'The devil she did!' I exclaimed.
-
-“'Yes, sir,' said he; 'that's the lady as visits 'im sometimes.'
-
-“I whistled.
-
-“'Was the General at home?'
-
-“'No, sir, but she left a message as 'ow she'd call again to-morrow
-morning.'
-
-“'Halfred,' I said, 'do not deliver that message. I shall see to it
-myself.'
-
-“And so Miss Unknown is the gay General's mysterious visitor. And I
-caught her at another rendezvous. But she denied this. Bah! I do not
-believe her. I trust no woman.
-
-“On my mind is left a curious impression from this brief passage--an
-impression of a beautiful wild animal, half shy, half bold, dreading
-the cage, but not so much, I think, the chase. Yes, decidedly there was
-something untamed in her air, in her eye, in her devil-may-care walk.
-For myself a savage queen has few charms, especially if she have merely
-the cannibal habit without the simplicity of attire.
-
-“Yet, mon Dieu, I have but seen her once! Come, to-morrow may show her
-in a better light. Ah, my gay dog of a General! It is unfortunate for
-you that you were so anxious to make my acquaintance!”
-
-Here ends the entry in my journal. You shall now see with what tact and
-acumen I pursued this entertaining intrigue.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XIX
-
-
-“_Introduce you to my mistress? I should as soon think of lending you my
-umbrella!_”
-
---Hercule D'Enville.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9198]
-
-OOD-MORNING, General. I have come to return your call.”
-
-The General stood in the door of his room, holding it half closed behind
-him. He wore a very old shooting-coat, smeared with many curious stains.
-Evidently he was engaged upon some unclean work, and evidently, also, he
-would have preferred me to call at some other hour. I remembered, now,
-Halfred's dark hints as to his occupation; but I remembered still more
-distinctly the dark eyes of Miss Unknown, and, whether he desired my
-company or not, I was determined to spend that morning in his room.
-
-“Morning, mossoo,” he said. “Glad to see you, but--er--I'm afraid I'm
-rather in a mess at present.”
-
-“You are the better company, then, for a conspirator who is never out of
-one,” I replied, gayly.
-
-Still he hesitated.
-
-“My dear General, positively I shall not permit you to treat me with
-such ceremony,” I insisted. “I shall empty your ink-pot over my coat to
-keep you company if you persist in considering me too respectable.”
-
-Well, who could withstand so importunate a visitor? I entered the
-carefully guarded chamber, smiling at myself at the little dénouement
-that was to follow, and curious in the mean time to see what kind of a
-den it was that this amorous dragon dwelt in. The first glance solved
-the mystery of his labors. An easel stood in one corner, a palette and
-brushes lay on a table, a canvas rested upon the easel; in a word, my
-neighbor pursued the arts!
-
-He looked at me a little awkwardly as I glanced round at these things.
-
-[Illustration: 0200]
-
-“Fact is, I dabble a bit in art,” he explained. “I have nothing to
-do, don't you know, and--er--I always felt drawn to the arts. Amateur
-work--mere amateur work, as you can see for yourself, but I flatter
-myself this ain't so bad, eh? Miss Ara--Ara--what the devil's her
-name?--Titch. Done from memory, of course; I don't want these busybodies
-here to know what I'm doing.”
-
-“You keep your proficiency a secret, then?” I said, gazing politely at
-this wonderful work of memory. It was not very like nor very artistic,
-and I wished to avoid passing any opinion.
-
-“Never told a soul but you, mossoo, and--er--well, there's only one
-other in the secret.”
-
-Again I smiled to myself.
-
-“It must be delightful to perpetuate the faces of your lady friends,” I
-remarked.
-
-The old boy smiled with some complacency.
-
-“That's rather my forte, I consider,” he replied.
-
-“You are fortunate!” I cried. “I would that I had such an excuse for my
-gallantries!”
-
-“Come now, mossoo, I'm an old boy, remember!” he protested, though he
-did not seem at all displeased by this innuendo.
-
-“You are at the most dangerous age for a woman's peace of mind.”
-
-“Tuts--nonsense!” said he. “Twenty years ago, I don't mind
-admitting--er--”
-
-“I understand! And twenty years subsequent to that? Ah, General!”
-
-He laughed good-humoredly. He admitted that for his years he was
-certainly as youthful as most men. He had become in an excellent temper
-both with himself and his guest, when suddenly our conversation was
-interrupted by a knocking at the door. He barely had time to open it
-when the dénouement arrived. In other words, Miss Unknown stepped into
-the room. Yet at the threshold she paused, for I could see that at
-the first glance she recognized me and knew not what to make of this
-remarkable coincidence.
-
-As she stood there she made a picture that put into the shade anything a
-much greater artist than the General could have painted, with her deep,
-finely turned chin cast a little upward and her dark, glowing eyes
-looking half arrogantly, half doubtingly, round the room. I noted
-again the petulant, wilful expression in the small mouth and the
-indescribable, untamed air. As before, she was dressed in bright colors,
-that set her off as a heavy gold frame sets off a picture; only her
-color this time was a vivid shade of purple.
-
-She paused but for a moment, and then she evidently made up her mind to
-treat me as a stranger, for she turned her glance indifferent to my host
-and asked, in an off-hand tone,
-
-“Didn't you know I was coming this morning?”
-
-“I? No,” said he, with an air as embarrassed as I could have wished.
-
-“I left a message yesterday afternoon.”
-
-“I never got it.”
-
-“You mean you forgot it.”
-
-“I mean I never got it,” he repeated, irately this time.
-
-She made a grimace, as much as to say, “Don't lose your temper,” and
-glanced again at me.
-
-“My niece, Miss Kerry,” said he, hurriedly, introducing me with a jerk
-of his hand.
-
-His “niece”! I smiled to myself at this euphonism, but bowed as
-deferentially as if I had really believed her to be his near relation,
-for I have always believed that the flattery of respect paves the way
-more readily than any other.
-
-She smiled charmingly, while I by my glance endeavored further to assure
-her that my discretion was complete.
-
-We exchanged a few polite words, and then she turned contemptuously to
-the canvas.
-
-“Are you still at this nonsense?” she asked, with a smile, it is true,
-but not a very flattering one.
-
-“Still at it, Kate,” he replied, looking highly annoyed with her tone.
-
-Evidently this hobby of his was a sore subject between them and one
-which did not raise him in her estimation. For a moment I was assailed
-by compunction at having thus let her convict him in the ridiculous act.
-“Yet, after all, they are May and December.” I reflected, “and if the
-worst comes to the worst, I can find a much more suitable friend for
-this 'niece.'”
-
-With a movement that was graceful in spite of its free and easy absence
-of restraint, she rummaged first for and then in her pocket and produced
-a letter which she handed to her “uncle,” asking, “What is the meaning
-of this beastly thing?”
-
-Yes, unquestionably her language, like her carriage and her eyes, had
-something of the savage queen.
-
-The General read the missive with a frown and glanced in my direction
-uncomfortably as he answered, “It is obviously--er--”
-
-“Oh, it's by way of being a bill,” she interrupted. “I don't need to be
-told that. But what am I to do?”
-
-“Pay it.”
-
-“Well, then, I'll need--” She stopped, glanced at me, and then, with a
-defiantly careless laugh, said, boldly, “I'll need an advance.”
-
-“The deuce you will!” said the General. “At this moment I can scarcely
-go into--”
-
-“Don't trouble,” she interrupted. “Just write me a check, please.”
-
-Without a word, but with a very sulky expression, the General banged
-open a writing-desk and hastily scribbled in his check-book, while the
-undutiful Miss Kerry turned to me as graciously as ever. But I thought
-I had carried my plot far enough for the present. Besides, she must come
-down-stairs, and my room was on the ground floor.
-
-“I fear I must leave you, General,” I said.
-
-“I must go, too,” said Miss Kerry, as I turned to make my adieux to her.
-“Good-bye, uncle. Much obliged for this.”
-
-It seemed to my ear that there was a laugh in that word “uncle,” and as
-I saw the unfortunate warrior watch our exit with a face as purple as
-his “niece's” dress, I heartily pitied the foiled Adonis. Yet if fortune
-chose so to redistribute her gifts, was it for me to complain?
-
-“May I accompany you for a short distance this time?” I asked.
-
-And a couple of minutes later I was gayly walking with her from the
-house, prepared to hail a cab and hurry away my prize upon the first
-sign of pursuit. No appearance, however, of a bereaved general officer
-running hatless and distraught with jealousy behind us. Evidently he
-had resigned himself to his fate--or did he place such reliance in the
-fidelity and devotion of his “niece”? Well, we should see about that!
-
-“Then you remembered me?” I said.
-
-“How do you know?”
-
-“By that question. Ah, it has betrayed you! Yes, you do remember the
-ignorant and importunate foreigner who pursued you with his unpleasing
-attentions?”
-
-“But it was a mistake, you said,” she replied, with a flash of her eyes
-that seemed to mean much.
-
-“A mistake, of course,” I said. “And now let us take a cab and have some
-lunch.”
-
-She appeared a little surprised at this bold suggestion, and
-recollecting that an appearance of propriety is very rigorously observed
-in England, often where one would least expect it, I modified my _élan_
-to a more formal gallantry, and very quickly persuaded her to accompany
-me to the most fashionable restaurant in Piccadilly.
-
-Even then, though she was generous of her smiles and those flashing
-glances that I could well imagine kindling the gallant heart of General
-Sholto, and though her talk was dashed with slang and marked with a
-straightforward freedom, yet she always maintained a sufficient dignity
-to check any too presumptuous advances. But by this time all compunction
-for my gallant neighbor had vanished in the delights of Miss Kerry's
-society, and I was not to be balked so easily.
-
-“To-night I wish you to do me a favor,” I said, earnestly.
-
-“Yes? What is it?” she smiled.
-
-“I have a box at the Gaiety Theatre, and I should like a friend to dine
-with me first, and then see the play.”
-
-As a matter of fact the box was not yet taken, but how was she to know
-that?
-
-“And I am to be the friend?” she asked.
-
-“If you will be so kind?”
-
-“My uncle is coming, of course?”
-
-I smiled at her, and she beamed back at me.
-
-“We understand each other,” I thought. “But, my faith, how persistently
-she keeps up this little farce!”
-
-Aloud I said:
-
-“Of course. Without an uncle by my side I should not even venture to
-turn out the gas. Would you?”
-
-“Of course not!” she replied.
-
-And so it was arranged that at half-past seven we were to meet at this
-same restaurant. In the mean time what dreams of happiness!
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XX
-
-
-“_Virtue is our euphonism for reaction_.”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9207]
-
-ALF-PAST seven had just struck upon a church clock close by. Five
-minutes passed, ten minutes, and then she appeared, more beautiful than
-ever--irresistible, in fact.
-
-“But is this a private room?” she asked, as she surveyed the comfortable
-little apartment with the dinner laid for two, and the discreet waiter
-opening the wine.
-
-“It could not be more so, I assure you.”
-
-She glanced at the two places. “Isn't my uncle coming?” she demanded.
-
-I was prepared for this little formality, which, it seemed, spiced the
-adventure for her.
-
-“At the last moment he was indisposed,” I explained, gravely; “but he
-will join us for dessert.” The impossibility of gainsaying this, and the
-attractiveness of the present circumstances--such as they were without
-an uncle--quickly induced her to accept this untoward accident with
-resignation, and in a few minutes we were as merry a party of two as
-you could wish to find. Our jests began to have a more and more friendly
-sound.
-
-“You do not care for this entrée?” I asked.
-
-“It is rather hot for my taste.”
-
-“Not so warm as my heart at this moment,” I declared.
-
-“What nonsense you talk!” she cried. “It has some meaning in French,
-though, I suppose.”
-
-Yet she laughed delightfully.
-
-“Much meaning,” I assured her.
-
-“When was my uncle taken ill?” she asked, once.
-
-Our eyes met and we mutually smiled.
-
-“When you left his room with me,” I replied.
-
-And this answer seemed perfectly to satisfy her.
-
-“What do you do with yourself all day?” I asked.
-
-Again she laughed.
-
-“You will only laugh,” she said.
-
-“I shall be as solemn as a judge, a jury, and three expert witnesses,” I
-assured her.
-
-“A friend and I are starting a women's mission.”
-
-I certainly became solemn--dumfounded, for one instant, in fact. Then a
-light dawned upon me.
-
-“Your friend is a clergyman, I presume?” I asked.
-
-I had noticed the poster of an evening paper with the words “Clerical
-Scandal,” and I suppose that put this solution into my head.
-
-“My friend is a she,” she replied, with a laugh. “Clergyman? No, thanks!
-We are doing it all ourselves.”
-
-“Ha, ha!” I laughed. “I see now what you mean! Excellent! Forgive my
-stupidity.”
-
-I did not see at all, but I supposed that there must be some English
-idiom which I did not understand. Doubtless I had lost an innuendo, but
-then one must expect leakage somewhere. Surely I was obtaining enough
-and could afford to lack a little.
-
-At last we arrived at dessert.
-
-“I wonder if my uncle has come?” she said.
-
-“I have just been visited by a presentiment,” I replied. “General
-Sholto has retired to bed. This information has been conveyed to me by a
-spirit--the spirit of love!”
-
-She looked at me with a new expression. Ought I to have restrained my
-ardor a little longer?
-
-“Does he know I am here?” she asked, quickly.
-
-“I assure you, on my honor, he has not the least notion!” I declared,
-emphatically.
-
-“Then--” she began, but words seemed to fail her. “Good-night,” she
-said, dramatically, but with unmistakable emphasis.
-
-She rose and stepped towards the door with the air of a tragedy queen.
-
-A thought, too horrible to be true, rushed into my heated brain.
-
-“Stop, one moment!” I implored her. “Do you mean to say that--that he is
-_really_ your uncle?”
-
-Her look of indignant consternation answered the question.
-
-I sank into my chair, and, seeing me in this plight, she paused to
-complete my downfall.
-
-[Illustration: 0210]
-
-“What did you imagine?” she asked.
-
-I endeavored to collect my wits.
-
-“Who did you think I was?” she demanded.
-
-“Mademoiselle,” I replied, “behold a crushed, a penitent, a ridiculous
-figure. I am even more ignorant of your virtuous country than I
-imagined. Forgive me, I implore you! I shall endow your mission with
-fifty pounds; I shall walk home barefoot; you have but to name my
-penance and I shall undergo it!”
-
-Whether it was that my contrition was so complete or for some more
-flattering reason that I may not hint at, I cannot tell you to this day,
-but certainly Miss Kerry proved more lenient than I had any right to
-expect. Not that she did not give me as unpleasant a quarter of an
-hour as I have ever tingled through. I, indeed, got “what for,” as the
-English say. But before she left she had actually smiled upon me again
-and very graciously uttered the words, “I forgive you.”
-
-As for myself, I became filled with a glow of penitence and admiration;
-the admiration being a kind of moral atonement which I felt I owed
-to this virtuous and beautiful girl. At that moment the seven virtues
-seemed incarnate in her, and the seven deadly sins in myself. I was
-in the mood to pay her some exaggerated homage; I had also consumed
-an entire bottle of champagne, and I offered her--my services in her
-mission to woman! I should be her secretary, I vowed. Touched by my
-earnestness, she at last accepted my offer, and when we parted and I
-walked home in the moonlight, I hummed an air from a splendid oratorio.
-
-Though the hour was somewhat late when I got in, it seemed to me
-the commonest courtesy to pay another call upon General Sholto and
-inquire--after his health, for example. I called, I found him in,
-and not yet gone to bed as my presentiment had advised me, and in two
-minutes we happened to be talking about his niece.
-
-It appeared that she was the orphan and only child of his sister, and
-that for some years Kate and her not inconsiderable fortune had been
-left in his charge, but from the first I fear that she had proved rather
-a handful for the old boy to manage.
-
-“A fine girl, sir; a handsome girl,” he declared, “but a rum 'un if ever
-there was. I'd once thought of living together, making a home and all
-that; but, as I said, mossoo, she's a rum girl. You noticed her temper
-this morning? Hang it, I was ashamed of her!”
-
-“Where is she, then?” I asked.
-
-“Living in a flat of her own with another woman. She is great on her
-independence, mossoo. Fine spirit, no doubt, but--er--just a little dull
-for me sometimes.”
-
-“She is young,” I urged, for I seemed to see only Miss Kerry's side of
-the argument. “And you, General--”
-
-“Am old,” he said. “Hang it, she doesn't let me forget that.”
-
-Evidently, I thought, my neighbor was feeling out of sorts, or he would
-never show so little appreciation of his charming niece. I must take up
-my arms on behalf of maligned virtue.
-
-“I am certain she regards you with a deep though possibly not a
-demonstrative affection,” I declared. “She does not know how to express
-it; that is all. She is love inarticulate, General!”
-
-“It hasn't taken you long to find that out,” said he; but observing the
-confusion into which, I fear, this threw me, he hastened to add, with a
-graver air: “Young women, mossoo, and young men too, for the matter of
-that, have to get tired of 'emselves before they waste much affection on
-any one else.”
-
-I protested so warmly that the General's smile became humorous again.
-
-“You forget the grand passion!” I exclaimed. “Your niece is at the age
-of love.”
-
-“Possibly a young man might--er--do the trick and that kind of thing,”
- he replied. “But I don't think Kate is very likely to fall in love at
-present--unless it's with one of her own notions.”
-
-“Her own notions?” I asked.
-
-“Well,” he explained, “the kind of man I'd back for a place would be a
-good-looking cabby or a long-haired fiddler. She'd rig him out with
-a soul, and so forth, to suit her fancy--and a deuce of a life they'd
-lead!”
-
-No use in continuing this discussion with such an unsympathetic and
-unappreciative critic. He was unworthy to be her uncle, I said to
-myself.
-
-When I returned to my own rooms, I opened my journal and wrote this
-striking passage:
-
-“_Illusion gone, clear sight returns. I have found a woman worthy of
-homage, of admiration, of friendship. Love (if, indeed, I ever felt that
-sacred emotion for any) has departed to make room for a worthier tenant.
-Reason rules my heart. I see dispassionately the virtues of Kate Kerry;
-I regard them as the mariner regards the polar star_.'”'
-
-I reproduce this extract for the benefit of the young, just as--to
-pursue my original and nautical metaphor--they put buoys above a
-dangerous wreck or mark a reef in the chart. It is on the same principle
-as the awful example who (I am told) accompanies the Scottish temperance
-lecturer.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXI
-
-
-                   “_If you-would improve their lot_,
-
-                   _Put a penny in the slot!_”
-
-                        _English Song (adapted)_.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9215]
-
-ERTAINLY John Bull is a singularly sentimental animal. I have said so
-before, but I should like to repeat it now with additional emphasis. I
-do not believe that he ever sold his wife at Smithfield, or, if he did,
-he became dreadfully penitent immediately after and forthwith purchased
-a new one. He is not a socialist; that is a too horribly and coldly
-logical creed for him, but he enjoys stepping forth from the seclusion
-of that well-furnished castle which every Englishman is so proud of,
-and dutifully endeavoring to ameliorate the condition of the
-working-classes.
-
-“England expects every man to do his duty,” he repeats, as he puts his
-hand into his capacious pocket and provides half a dozen mendicants with
-the means of becoming intoxicated.
-
-Oh yes, my kind English friends, I admit that I am putting it strongly;
-but again let me remind you (in case you ever see these words) that if
-I begin to be quite serious I shall cease to be quite readable. The
-working-man, I quite allow, is provided with the opportunity of learning
-the violin and the geography of South America and the Thirty-nine
-Articles of the Anglican Church, besides obtaining many other
-substantial advantages from the spread of the Altruistic Idea. You are
-wiser than I am (certainly more serious), and you have done these deeds.
-For my part, I shall now confine myself to recording my own share in one
-of them. Only I must beg you to remember that for a time I was actually
-a philanthropist myself, and as a mere chronicler write with some
-authority.
-
-The mission of which I now found myself unpaid and unqualified secretary
-was a recently born but vigorous infant; considering the sex for which
-it catered, I think this simile is both appropriate and encouraging. The
-credit of the inspiring idea belonged to Miss Clibborn, the friend with
-whom my dark-eyed divinity shared a flat; the funds were supplied
-by both these ladies and from the purses of such of their friends as
-admired inspiring ideas or intoxicating glances; the office was in
-an East London street of so dingy an aspect that I felt some small
-peccadillo atoned for every time I walked along its savory pavements. By
-the time I had spent a day in that office I could with confidence have
-murdered a member of Parliament or abducted a clergyman's wife; so much,
-I was sure, must have been placed to the credit side of my account, that
-these crimes would be cancelled at once.
-
-Yet can I call it drudgery or penance to sit in the same room with Kate
-Kerry, to discuss with her whether Mrs. Smith should receive a mangle
-or Mrs. Brown a roll of flannel and two overshoes, to admonish her
-extravagance or elicit her smiles? Scarcely, I fear, and I must base
-my claims to any credit from this adventure upon the hours when she
-happened to be absent and I had to amuse myself by abortive efforts to
-mesmerize a peculiarly unsusceptible office cat.
-
-[Illustration: 0218]
-
-From this you will perhaps surmise that there was no great press of
-business in our mission; and, indeed, there was not, or I should not
-have been permitted to conduct its affairs so long; for I spent nearly
-three weeks in furthering the cause of woman. As for our work, it
-was really too comprehensive to describe in detail. All women in the
-district, as they were informed by a notice outside our door, were free
-to come in. Advice in all cases, assistance in some, was to be given
-gratuitously. In time, when the mission had thoroughly established its
-position and influence, these women were to be formed into a league
-having for its objects female franchise, a thorough reform of the
-marriage laws, and the opening of all professions and occupations
-whatsoever to the gentler but, my employers were convinced, more capable
-sex. In a word, we were the thin end of the Amazonian wedge.
-
-The strong brain which had devised this far-reaching scheme resided in
-the head of Miss Clibborn. Concerning her I need only tell you that she
-was a pale little woman with an intense expression, a sad lack of humor,
-and an extreme distrust of myself. She did not amuse me in the least,
-and I was relieved to find that her duties consisted chiefly in
-propagating her ideas in the homes of the women of that and other
-neighborhoods.
-
-As for Kate, she had entered upon the undertaking with a high spirit, a
-full purse, and a strong conviction that woman was a finer animal than
-man and that something should be done in consequence. In the course of a
-week or two, however, the spirit began to weary a little, the purse was
-becoming decidedly more empty; and, though the conviction remained as
-strong as ever, one can think of other things surprisingly well in
-spite of a conviction, and Miss Kerry's thoughts began to get a little
-distracted by her secretary, I am afraid, while his became even more
-distracted by Miss Kerry.
-
-Plato; that was the theme on which we spoke. A platonic
-friendship--magnificent and original idea! We should show the astonished
-world what could be done in that line of enterprise. How eloquently I
-talked to her on this profound subject! On her part, she listened, she
-threw me more dazzling smiles and captivating glances, she delivered
-delightfully unconsidered opinions with the most dashing assurance,
-she smoked my cigarettes and we opened the window afterwards. This was
-philanthropy, indeed.
-
-Do you think I was unreasonably prejudiced in this lady's favor? Picture
-to yourself soft lashes fringing white lids that would hide for a while
-and then suddenly reveal two dark stars glowing with possibilities of
-romance; set these in the midst of the ebb and flow of sudden smiles and
-passing moods; crown all this with rich coils of deep-brown hair, and
-frame it in soft colors and textures chosen, I used to think, by some
-sprite who wished to bring distraction among men. Then sit by the hour
-beside this siren who treats you with the kind confidence of a friend,
-who attracts and eludes, perplexes and delights you, suggesting by her
-glance more than she says, recompensing by her smile for half an hour's
-perversity. Do this before judging me.
-
-But I am now the annalist of a mission, and I must narrate one incident
-in our work that proved to have a very momentous bearing on that
-generous inspiration of two women's minds.
-
-Kate and I had been talking together for the greater part of a
-profitable morning, when a woman entered our austere apartment.
-
-She was one of our few regular applicants; a not ill-looking, plausible,
-tidily dressed widow who confessed to thirty and probably was five years
-older.
-
-“Good-morning, Mrs. Martin,” said Kate, with a haughty, off-hand
-graciousness that, I fear, intimidated these poor people more than it
-flattered them. “What do you want?”
-
-“Please, mum,” said Mrs. Martin, glancing from one to the other of us
-and beginning an effective little dry cough, “my 'ealth is a-suffering
-dreadful from this weather. The doctor 'e says nothink but a change of
-hair won't do any good. I was that bad last night, miss, I scarcely
-thought I'd see the morning.”
-
-And here the good lady stopped to cough again.
-
-“Well,” said Kate, “what can we do?”
-
-“If I 'ad the means to get to the seaside for a week, miss, my 'ealth
-would benefit extraordinary; the doctor 'e says Margate, sir, would set
-me up wonderful.”
-
-“You had better see the doctor, Miss Kerry,” I suggested.
-
-“Oh, I can't be bothered. I've seen him before; he's a stupid little
-fool. Give her a pound.”
-
-[Illustration: 0221]
-
-“A pound, mum--” began Mrs. Martin, in a tone of decorous expostulation.
-
-“Oh, give her three, then,” said Kate, impatiently.
-
-Just as the grateful recipient of woman's generosity to her sex was
-retiring with her booty, Miss Clibborn returned from her round of
-duty. She was the business partner, with the shrewd head, the judgment
-comparatively unbiassed, the true soul of the missionary. I give her
-full credit for all these virtues in spite of her antipathy to myself.
-
-She overheard the last words of the effusive Mrs. Martin, demanded an
-explanation from us, and frowned when she got it.
-
-“You had much better have investigated the case, Kate,” she observed, in
-a tone of rebuke.
-
-“So I did,” replied Kate, with charming insolence. “I asked her whether
-she went to church and why she wore feathers in her hat, and if she had
-pawned her watch--all the usual idiotic questions.”
-
-“Kate,” said her friend severely, “this spirit is fatal to our success.”
-
-“Spirit be bothered!” retorted the more mundane partner.
-
-“Ladies,” I interposed amicably, “I have in my overcoat pocket a box of
-chocolate creams. Honor me by accepting them!”
-
-Not even this overture could mollify Miss Clibborn, and presently she
-departed again with a sad glance at her lukewarm ally and frivolous
-secretary.
-
-Ah, how divine Kate looked as she consumed those bonbons and our talk
-turned back to Plato! So divine, indeed, that I felt suddenly impelled
-to ask a question, to solve a little lingering doubt that sometimes
-would persist in coming to poison my faith in my friend.
-
-“I have been wondering,” I said, after a pause.
-
-“Wondering what?”
-
-“You remember that evening I met you in the Temple? I was wondering what
-rendezvous you were keeping.”
-
-“What a funny idea!” she laughed. “I took a fancy to walk in the Temple;
-that was all.”
-
-“And expected no one?”
-
-“Of course not!”
-
-At last I was entirely satisfied, so satisfied that I felt a strong and
-sudden desire to fervently embrace this lovely, pure-hearted creature.
-
-But no; it would be sacrilege! I said to myself. She would never forgive
-me. Our friendship would be at an end. The rules of Plato do not permit
-such liberties. Alas!
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXII
-
-
-“_To the foolish give counsel from the head; to the wise from the
-heart!_”
-
---Cervanto Y'ALVEZ.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9224]
-
-VER since I became secretary I had been as one dead to my friends.
-Except the General, I had seen none of them. One or two, including Dick
-Shafthead, had called upon me, only to be told that I might not return
-until long after midnight (for I was occasionally in the habit of dining
-with one of my employers after my labors). When I thought of Dick, my
-conscience smote me. I intended always to write to him, and also to
-Lumme, to explain my disappearance, but never took pen in hand. I heard
-nothing from France, nothing about the packing-case; nor did I trouble
-my head about this silence. The present moment was enough for me. To
-Halfred I had only mentioned that I was busily employed in a distant
-part of London, and I fear my servant's vivid imagination troubled him
-considerably, for he was earnestly solicitous about my welfare.
-
-“It ain't nothing I can lend a 'and in, sir?” he inquired one day.
-
-“I am afraid not,” I replied.
-
-He hesitated, uncertain how best to express his doubts politely and
-indicate a general warning.
-
-“You'll excuse me, sir, for saying so,” he remarked at last, “but Mr.
-Titch 'e says that furriners sometimes gets themselves into trouble
-without knowing as 'ow they are doing anything wrong.”
-
-“Tell Mr. Titch, with my compliments, to go to the devil and mind his
-own business,” I replied, with, I think, pardonable wrath.
-
-[Illustration: 0225]
-
-“Yes, sir; very good, sir,” said Halfred, hastily; but I do not know
-that his doubts were removed. However I consoled myself for my want
-of confidence in him by thinking that he had now a fair field with
-Aramatilda.
-
-On the evening of that day when we had despatched Mrs. Martin to
-the seaside, I returned earlier than usual and sat in my easy-chair
-ruminating on the joys and drawbacks of platonic friendship. “Yes,” I
-said to myself, “it is pleasant, it is pure--devilish pure--and it is
-elevating. But altogether satisfactory? No, to be candid; something
-begins to be lacking. If I had had the audacity this morning--what would
-she have said? Despised me? Alas, no doubt! Yet, is there not something
-delicate, ideal, out of all ordinary experience in our relations? And
-would I risk the loss of this? Never!”
-
-At this point there came a knock upon the door, and in walked my dear
-Dick Shafthead.
-
-“Found you at last,” he said. “Well, monsieur, give an account of
-yourself. What have you been doing--burgling or duelling or what?”
-
-His manner was as cool and unpretentiously friendly as ever; he was the
-same, yet with a subtle difference I was instantly conscious of. There
-was I know not what of kindness in his eye, of greater courtesy in his
-voice. Somehow there seemed a more sympathetic air about him. Slight
-though it was, this something insensibly drew forth my confidence.
-Naturally, I should have hesitated to confess my little experiment in
-Plato and my improbable vocation to such a satirical critic. I could
-picture the grim smile with which he would listen, the dry comments he
-would make. But this evening I was emboldened to make a clean breast of
-it, and, though his smile was certainly sometimes a little more humorous
-than sympathetic, yet he heard me with a surprising appearance of
-interest.
-
-“Then she's deuced pretty and embarrassingly proper?” he said, when I
-had finished the outline of my story.
-
-“Indeed, my friend, she is both.”
-
-“Novel experience?” he suggested.
-
-“Entirely novel.”
-
-“And what's to be the end of it?”
-
-I shrugged my shoulders.
-
-“Going to marry her?”
-
-“Marry!” I exclaimed. “I have told you we are not even lovers. Dick, I
-cannot tell you what my feeling is towards her, because I do not know
-it myself. Yes, perhaps it is love. She has virtues; I have told you
-them--her truth, her high spirit, her--”
-
-“Yes, yes,” interrupted Dick, with something of his old brutality,
-“you've given me the list already. Let's hear her faults.”
-
-“She is so full of delightful faults I know not where to begin.
-Perverse, sometimes inconsiderate, without knowledge of herself.
-Divide these up into the little faults they give rise to in different
-circumstances, and you get a picture of an imperfect but charming
-woman.”
-
-“It is evident _you_ don't know what falling in love means,” said Dick.
-
-I looked at him hard.
-
-“Do you?” I asked.
-
-Dick actually blushed.
-
-“Well,” he replied, with a smile that had a little tenderness as well
-as humor, “since you are a man of feeling, monsieur, and by way of
-being--don't you know?--yourself, I might as well tell you. I've rather
-played the fool, I expect.”
-
-He said this with an air of sincerity, but it was clear he did not think
-himself so very stupid in the matter.
-
-“My dear friend,” I cried, “I am all ears and sympathy--also intelligent
-advice.”
-
-And then the story came out. I shall not give it in Dick's words, for
-these were not selected with a view to romantic effect, and the story
-deserves better treatment.
-
-It appeared that, some twenty years before, a cousin of Lady Shafthead's
-had taken a step which forever disgraced her in the eyes of her
-impecunious but ancient family. She had, in fact, married the local
-attorney, a vulgar but insinuating person with a doubtful reputation
-for honesty and industry. The consequences bore out the warnings of her
-family; he went from bad to worse, and she from discomfort to misery,
-until, at last, they both died, leaving not a single penny in the
-world, but, instead, a little orphan daughter. Of all the scandalized
-relations, Lady Shafthead had alone come to the rescue. She had the girl
-educated in a respectable school, and now, when she was nineteen years
-of age, gave her a home until she could find a profession for herself.
-
-This latter step did not meet with Sir Philip's approval. He had
-lent the father money, and in return had had his name forged for a
-considerable amount; besides, he did not approve of bourgeois relations.
-However, he had reluctantly enough consented to let Miss Agnes Grey
-spend a few months at his house on the understanding that, as soon as
-an occupation was found, that was to be the last of the unworthy
-connection.
-
-At this stage in the story--about a fortnight ago--fate and a
-short-sighted guest put a charge of shot into the baronet's left
-shoulder. At first it was feared the accident might be dangerous; Dick
-was hurriedly summoned home, and there he found Miss Agnes Grey grown
-(so he assured me) into one of the most charming girls imaginable.
-He had known her and been fond of her, in a patronizing way, for some
-years. Now he saw her with tears in her voice, anxious about his father,
-devoted to his mother, and all the time feeling herself a forlorn and
-superfluous dependant. What would any chivalrous young man, with an
-unattached heart, have done under these circumstances? What would I have
-done myself? Fallen in love, of course--or something like it.
-
-Well, Dick did not do things by halves. He fell completely in love;
-circumstances hurried matters to an issue, and he discovered himself
-beloved in turn. Little was said, and little was done; but quite enough
-to enable a discerning eye to see at the first glance that something had
-happened to Dick.
-
-And here he sat, with his blue eyes looking far through the walls of my
-room, and his mouth compressed, giving his confidence not to one of
-his oldest and most discreet friends, but to one who could share a
-sentiment. A strange state of things for Dick Shafthead!
-
-“It is an honorable passion?” I asked.
-
-“What the devil--” began Dick.
-
-“Pardon,” I interposed. “I believe you. But the world is complex, and I
-merely asked. You are then engaged?”
-
-Dick frowned.
-
-“We haven't used that word,” he replied.
-
-“But you intend to be?”
-
-He was silent for a little, and then, with some bitterness, said: “My
-earnings for the last three years average £37, 11s., 4d. I have had two
-briefs precisely this term, and I am thirty years old. It would be an
-excellent thing to get engaged.”
-
-“But your father; he will surely help you?”
-
-“He will see me damned first.”
-
-“Then he will not approve of Miss Grey?”
-
-“He will not.”
-
-“Have you asked him?”
-
-“No.”
-
-Again Dick was silent for a minute, and then he went on: “Look here,
-d'Haricot, old man, this is how it is. I know my father; he's one of the
-best, but if I've got any prejudices I inherit them honestly. What he
-likes he likes, and what he doesn't like he doesn't like. He doesn't
-like Agnes, he doesn't like her family--or didn't like 'em. He doesn't
-like younger sons marrying poor girls. On the other hand, he does like
-the 'right kind of people,' as he calls 'em, and the right sort of
-marriage, and he does like me too well, I think, to see me doing what he
-doesn't like. I have only a hundred a year of my own, and expectations
-from an aunt of fifty-two who has never had a day's illness in her life.
-You see?”
-
-“What will you do?” I asked.
-
-“What can I do?” he replied, and added, “it is pleasant folly.”
-
-His brows were knitted, his mouth shut tight, his eyes hard. He had come
-down to stern realities and the mood of tenderness had passed.
-
-“But you really love her?” I said.
-
-His face lit up for a moment. “I do,” he answered, and then quickly the
-face clouded again.
-
-“My friend,” I said, “I, too, have a friend--a girl, whom I place before
-the rest of the world; I share your sentiments and I judge your case for
-you. What is life without woman, without love? Would you place your
-income, your prospects, the sordid aspects of your life, even the
-displeasure of relations, before the most sacred passion of your heart?
-Dick, if you do not say to this dear girl, 'I love you; let the devil
-himself try to part us! I shall not think of you as the same friend.”
-
-He gave a quick glance, and in his eye I saw that my audience was with
-me in spirit.
-
-“And my father? Tell him that too?” he said, dryly in tone, but not
-unmoved, I was sure.
-
-“Tell him that your veneration, your homage, belongs to him, but that
-your soul is your own! Tell him that you are not afraid to take some
-risk for one you love! Are you afraid, Dick?”
-
-He gave a short laugh.
-
-“I'd risk something,” he replied.
-
-“Only something? And for Agnes Grey, Dick? Think of the future without
-her, the life you have been leading repeated from day to day, now that
-you have known her. Is that pleasant? Is she not worth some risk--a good
-deal of risk?”
-
-He rose and then he smiled; and he had a very pleasant smile.
-
-“Thanks,” he said; “you're a good chap, monsieur. I wish you had to
-tackle the governor, though.”
-
-“Let me!” I exclaimed.
-
-“Well,” he said, “if I want an eloquent counsel I know where to look for
-one. Good-night.”
-
-“You will dare it?” I asked, as he went towards the door.
-
-“Shouldn't be surprised,” he answered, and with a friendly nod was gone.
-
-I said to myself that I had done a splendid night's work. Also I began
-to apply my principles to my own case.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXIII
-
-
-“_Old friends for me! I then know what folly to expect._”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9234]
-
-N the following morning Kate and I met as usual in the office of the
-mission; and as usual she appeared three quarters of an hour after the
-time she was nominally to be expected. She looked more ravishing than
-ever; the art that conceals art had never more inconspicuously pervaded
-every line and shade of her garments, every tress of her hair; her
-smile opened up a long vista of possibilities. Again I strongly felt the
-sentiments that had inspired me overnight; I could have closed the desk
-on the spot and seized her hands; but I restrained myself and merely
-asked instead what had become of her fellow-missionary. She was
-indisposed, it appeared, and could not come to-day.
-
-“She's rather worried about our finances,” said Kate, though not in a
-tone that seemed to share the anxiety.
-
-I had more than once wondered where the money was coming from and how
-long it would last, but hitherto I had avoided this sordid aspect of the
-crusade.
-
-“We can't go on any longer unless we get some more money,” she added.
-“What with all my other expenses I can't run to much more, and Miss
-Clibborn isn't very well off.”
-
-“My own purse--” I began.
-
-“Oh,” she interrupted, “we want a capitalist to finance us regularly, and
-Miss Clibborn has found a man who may help if he approves of our work.
-He is coming down this morning.”
-
-“What!” I exclaimed. “We are to be inspected by a philanthropist any
-moment?”
-
-“Yes,” she said, with a laugh. “So you had better get out your papers
-and look busy.”
-
-“Who is this benefactor?” I inquired, as I hastily made the most of our
-slender correspondence.
-
-“I can't remember his name; but he is something in the city. Very rich,
-of course.”
-
-“And if he refuses to help?”
-
-“Then we must shut up shop, I suppose,” she answered, with a smile
-that was very charming even if somewhat inappropriate to this sad
-contingency. “Shall you be sorry?”
-
-“Disconsolate!” I said, with more emotion than my employer had shown.
-
-The door opened and the head of our grimy caretaker appeared.
-
-“A gentleman to see you, miss,” she said.
-
-“Show him in,” said Kate.
-
-“The philanthropist!” I exclaimed, dipping my pen in the ink and taking
-in my other hand the gas bill.
-
-A heavy step sounded in the passage, mingled with a strangely familiar
-sound of puffing, and then in walked a stout, gray-whiskered, red-faced
-gentleman whose apoplectic presence could never be forgotten by me. It
-was my old friend, Mr. Fisher, of Chickawungaree Villa!
-
-“You are--ah--Miss Kerry?” he said, heavily, but with politeness.
-
-As she held out her hand I could see even upon his stolid features
-unmistakable evidence of surprise and admiration at meeting this
-apparition in the dinginess of East London.
-
-“Yes,” she said. “And you, I suppose, are--”
-
-“Mr. Fisher--a fisher of--ha, ha!--women, it seems, down here.”
-
-The old Gorgon was actually jesting with a pretty girl! As I thought of
-him in his diningroom I could scarcely believe my senses.
-
-“And this gentleman,” he said, turning towards me, “is, I suppose--”
-
-He paused; his eyes had met mine, and I fear I was somewhat
-unsuccessfully endeavoring to conceal a smile.
-
-“Fisher!” I said, holding out my hand. “How do you do?”
-
-He did not, however, take it; yet he evidently did not know what to do
-instead.
-
-“Then you know Mr. Fisher?” said Kate.
-
-“We have met,” I replied, “and we could give you some entertaining
-reminiscences of our meeting. Could we not, Mr. Fisher?”
-
-“What are you doing here?” said Fisher, slowly.
-
-“Atoning for the errors of a profligate youth,” I replied, “and
-assisting in the education and advancement of woman.”
-
-For some reason he did not appear to take this statement quite
-seriously. In England, when you tell the truth it must be told with a
-solemn countenance; no expression in the face, nothing but a simple yet
-sufficient movement of the jaws, as though you were masticating a real
-turtle. A smile, a relieving touch of lightness in your words, and you
-are instantly set down as an irreverent jester.
-
-“Miss Kerry,” he said, sententiously, “I warn you against this person.”
-
-“But--why?” exclaimed the astonished Kate.
-
-“I say no more. I warn you,” said Mr. Fisher, with a dull glance at me.
-
-“Come, now,” I said, pleasantly, for I recollected that the mission
-depended on this monster's good-humor, “let us bury the pick-axe, as you
-would say. The truth is, Miss Kerry, that Mr. Fisher and I once had a
-merry evening together, but, unluckily, towards midnight we fell out
-about some trifle; it matters not what; some matter of gallantry that
-sometimes for a moment separates friends. She preferred him; but I bear
-no grudge. That is all, is it not, Fisher?”
-
-And I gave him a surreptitious wink to indicate that he should endorse
-this innocent version of our encounter.
-
-Unluckily, at this point Kate turned her back and began to titter.
-
-The overfed eye of Fisher moved slowly from one to the other of us.
-
-“I came down here,” he said, “at my friend Miss Clibborn's request
-to--ah--satisfy myself of the usefulness of her mission. Is this a
-mission--or what is it?”
-
-“It is a mission,” replied Kate, trying hard to sober herself. “We are
-doing ex--ex--cellent work.”
-
-But at that point she had recourse to her handkerchief.
-
-“Our work, sir,” I interposed, “is doing an incalculable amount of
-benefit. It is the most philanthropic, the most judicious--”
-
-I stopped for the good reason that I could no longer make myself heard.
-There was a noise of altercation and scuffling outside our door that
-startled even the phlegmatic Fisher.
-
-“What on earth is this?” he demanded.
-
-The door opened violently.
-
-[Illustration: 0239]
-
-“I can't 'old 'er no longer,” wailed the voice of our caretaker, and in
-a moment more there entered as perfect a specimen of one of the Furies
-as it has ever been my lot to meet.
-
-She was a woman we had never seen before, a huge creature with a bloated
-face adorned by the traces of a recently blacked eye; her bonnet had
-been knocked over one ear in the scuffle with the caretaker, and her raw
-hands still clutched two curling-pins with the adjacent locks detached
-from her adversary's head.
-
-“Madam,” I said, “what can we do for you?”
-
-I was determined to let Fisher see the businesslike style in which we
-conducted our philanthropic operations.
-
-“Where is he? Where the bloomin' blankness is he?” thundered the virago.
-
-Poor Kate gave a little exclamation.
-
-“Leave her to me,” I said, reassuringly. “Where is who, my good woman?”
-
-“My 'usband. You've gone and stole my 'us-band away! But I'll have the
-law on yer! I'll make it blooming hot for yer!” (Only “blooming” was not
-the adjective she employed.)
-
-“Who are you, and what do you want?” said Fisher.
-
-There was something so ponderous in his accents that our visitor was
-impressed in spite of herself.
-
-“My name is Mrs. Fulcher, and I wants my 'usband. Them there lydies
-wot's come 'ere to mike mischief in the 'omcs of pore, hinnercent
-wiminen, they've give Mrs. Martin the money to do it.”
-
-“To do what?” said Fisher.
-
-“To go for a 'oliday to the seaside, and she's took my 'usband with
-her!”
-
-“Taken your husband!” I exclaimed. “Why should she do that?”
-
-“Because she ain't got no 'usband of her own, and never 'ad. _Missis_
-Martin, indeed! Needin' a 'oliday for 'er 'ealth! That's wot yer calls
-helevatin' wimmen! 'Elpin' himmorality, I calls it!”
-
-“This is a nice business, young man!” said Fisher, turning to me.
-
-Unfortunately for himself he had the ill-taste to smile at this triumph
-over his ex-burglar.
-
-“Oh, you'd larf, would yer!” shrieked the deserted spouse. “You hold
-proflergate, I believe you done it on purpose!”
-
-“Me?” gasped Fisher. “You ill-tempered, noisy--”
-
-But before he could finish this impeachment he received Mrs. Fulcher's
-right fist on his nose, followed by a fierce charge of her whole massive
-person; and in another moment the office of the women's mission was the
-scene of as desperate a conflict as the bastion of the Malakoff. Kate
-screamed once and then shut her lips, and watched the struggle with a
-very pale face, while I hurled myself impetuously upon the Amazon and
-endeavored to seize her arms.
-
-“Police! Call the police!” shouted Fisher.
-
-“Perlice, perlice,” echoed his enemy. “I'll per-lice yer, yer dirty,
-himmoral hold 'ulk!”
-
-And bang, bang, went her fists against the side of his head.
-
-“Idiot, virago, stop!” I cried, compressing her swinging arm to her side
-at last.
-
-“Send for the police!” boomed the hapless Fisher.
-
-“Police!” came the frenzied voice of the caretaker at the front door.
-
-“I'll smash yer bloomin' 'ead like a bloomin' cocoanut!” shouted Mrs.
-Fulcher, bringing the other arm into play.
-
-“Compress her wind-pipe, Fisher,” I advised. “Tap her claret! Hold her
-legs! She kicks!”
-
-[Illustration: 0242]
-
-Such a contest was too fierce to last; her vigor relaxed; Fisher was
-enabled to thrust her head beneath his arm, and I to lift her by the
-knees, so that by the time the policemen arrived all they had to do was
-to raise our foe from the floor and bear her away still kicking freely
-and calling down the vengeance of Heaven upon us.
-
-My first thought was for the unfortunate witness of this engagement.
-
-“You are upset, Miss Kerry; you are disturbed, I fear. Let me bring you
-water.”
-
-“I'm all right, thanks,” she replied, with wonderful composure, though
-she was pale as a sheet by now.
-
-“But what is this?” I cried, pointing to a mark on her face. “Were you
-struck?”
-
-“It's nothing,” she replied, feeling for her handkerchief. “She hit me
-by mistake.”
-
-So engrossed was I that I had quite forgotten Fisher; but now I was
-reminded by the sound of a stentorian grunt.
-
-“Ugh!” he groaned. “Get me a cab; fetch me a cab, some one.”
-
-Blood was dripping from his nose; his collar was torn, his cheeks
-scarred by the nails of his foe; everything, even his whiskers, seemed
-to have suffered. It would not be easy to persuade this victim of the
-wars to patronize our mission now, but for Kate's sake I thought I must
-try.
-
-“Well, Fisher,” I said, heartily, “you are a sportsman! Your spirit and
-your vigor, my dear sir, were quite admirable.”
-
-For reply he only snorted again and repeated his demand for a cab.
-Well, I sent one of a large crowd of boys who had collected outside the
-mission to fetch one, and suavely returned to the attack. It was not
-certainly encouraging to find that he and Kate had evidently exchanged
-no amenities while I was out of the room, but, ignoring this air of
-constraint, I said to him:
-
-“We shall see you soon again, I trust? We depend upon your aid, you
-know. You have shown us your martial ardor! let us benefit equally by
-your pacific virtues!”
-
-“I shall see myself--” began Fisher. Then he glanced at Kate and altered
-his original design into, “a very long way before I return to this
-office. It is disgraceful, sir; madam, I say it is disgraceful.”
-
-“But what is?” I asked.
-
-“Everything about this place, sir. Mission? I call it a bear-garden,
-that's what I call it.”
-
-“I am sorry, Mr. Fisher,” began Kate, but our patron was already on
-his way out without another word to either of us. And I had been his
-rescuer! He slammed the door behind him, and that was the last of my
-friend Fisher.
-
-For a moment or two we remained silent. “Well,” said Kate, with a little
-laugh, “that's the end of our mission.”
-
-“The end, I fear,” I replied.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXIV
-
-
-“_Do I love you? Mon Dieu! I am too engrossed in this bonnet to say._”
-
---Hercule d'Enville.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9245]
-
-N hour has passed since the departure of Fisher; the crowd outside,
-after cheering each of the combatants down the street, has at last
-dispersed; the notice at the door informing all females of our patronage
-and assistance has been removed; the mission has become only a matter
-for the local historian, yet we two still linger over the office fire.
-Kate says little, but in her mind, it seems to me, there must be many
-thoughts. She has recovered her composure and reflections have had time
-to come. I, with surprising acumen and confidence, speculate on the
-nature of these. Disillusionment, the collapse of hopes, and the chilly
-thaw that leaves only the dripping and fast-vanishing remnants of
-ideals; these are surely what she feels. As I watch her, also saying
-little, her singular beauty grows upon me, and my heart goes out in
-sympathy for her troubles, till it is beating ominously fast. “Yes,”
- I say to myself, “this is more than Plato. I worship at the shrine of
-woman. No longer am I a sceptic!”
-
-My sympathy can find no words; yet it must somehow take shape and reach
-this sorrowing divinity. I lay my hand upon hers and she--she lets me
-press her fingers silently, while a little smile begins to awake about
-the corners of her wilful mouth.
-
-“Poor friend!” I exclaim, yet with gentle exclamation. “Yes,
-disillusionment is bitter!”
-
-She gives her shoulders a shrug and her eye flashes into the fire.
-
-“It is not that,” she replies. “It's being made a beastly fool of.”
-
-For an instant I get a shock; but the spell of the moment and her
-beauty is too strong to be broken. It seems to me that I do but hear an
-evidence of her unconquerable spirit.
-
-“You have a friend,” I whisper, “who can never think you a fool. To me
-you are the ideal, the queen of women. You may have lost your own ardent
-faith in woman through this luckless experiment, but you have converted
-me!”
-
-At this she gives me such a smile that all timidity vanishes. “Kate!” I
-exclaim, and the next moment she is in my arms.
-
-For a silent five minutes I enjoyed all the raptures that a beautiful
-woman and a rioting imagination can bestow. Picture Don Quixote
-embracing a Dulcinea who should really be as fair of face as his fancy
-painted her. Would not the poor man conceive himself in heaven even
-though she never understood a word of all his passion? For the moment I
-shared some of the virtues of that paladin with a fairer reason for my
-blindness. Her soft face lay against mine, the dark lashes hid her
-eyes, her form yielded to every pressure. What I said to her I cannot
-remember, even if I were inclined to confess it now; I only know that
-my sentiments were flying very high indeed, when suddenly she laughed. I
-stopped abruptly.
-
-“Why do you laugh?” I asked.
-
-She raised her head and opened her eyes and I saw that there was
-certainly no trace of sentiment in them.
-
-“You are getting ridiculous,” she said. “Don't look so beastly serious!”
-
-“Serious!” I gasped. “But--but what are you?”
-
-She smiled at me again as kindly and provokingly as ever. But the
-veil of illusion was rent and it needed but another tear to pull it
-altogether from my eyes.
-
-“You do not love me, then?” I asked, as calmly as I could.
-
-“Love?” she smiled. “Don't be absurd!”
-
-“Pardon!” I cried. “I see I have neglected my duties hitherto. I ought
-to have been kissing you all this time. That would have amused you
-better!”
-
-Ah, I had roused her now, but to anger, not to love. She sprang back
-from me, her eyes flashing.
-
-“You insult me!” she cried.
-
-“Is it possible?” I asked, with a smile.
-
-Her answer was brief, it was stormy, and it was not very flattering to
-myself; evidently she was genuinely indignant.
-
-And I--yes, I was beginning to see the ordinary little bits of glass
-that had made so dazzling a kaleidoscope. I had been upbraiding Dulcinea
-with not being indeed the lady of Toboso; and that honest maiden was
-naturally incensed at my language.
-
-I fear that in the polite apology I made her, I allowed this discovery
-to be too apparent. Again she was in arms, and this time with
-considerable dramatic effect.
-
-“Oh, I know what you think!” she cried. “You think that because I don't
-make a fuss about _you_, I have no sentiments. If you were worth it you
-would see that I could be--”
-
-She paused.
-
-“What?” I asked.
-
-With the privilege of woman, she slightly changed the line of argument.
-
-“All men are alike,” she said, contemptuously.
-
-“Then you have had similar experiences before?”
-
-“Yes,” she replied, with a candor I could not help thinking was somewhat
-belated.
-
-“In the Temple?” I asked.
-
-“He made a fool of himself, just like you,” she retorted.
-
-“Yet you assured me there was no one--”
-
-“What business had you with my confidence?” she interrupted.
-
-“I see,” I replied. “So you told what was not quite the truth? You were
-quite right; people are so apt to misunderstand these situations. In
-future I shall know better than to ask questions--because I shall be
-able to guess the answers. Good-bye.”
-
-She replied with a distant farewell, and that was the end of a pretty
-charade.
-
-I went away vowing that I should never think of her again; I lunched
-at the gayest restaurant to assist me in this resolution; I planned a
-series of consolations that should make oblivion amusing, even if not
-very edifying; yet early in the afternoon I found myself in her uncle's
-apartments, watching the old gentleman put the finishing touches to “A
-portrait from memory of Miss Kate Kerry.” That picture at least did
-not flatter! I had told him before of our ripening acquaintance and
-my engagement as secretary, and I think the General had enough martial
-spirit still left to divine the reason for my philanthropic ardor.
-To-day he quickly guessed that something unfortunate had happened.
-
-“Had a row with Kate, eh?” he inquired.
-
-“A row?” I said, endeavoring to put as humorous a face on it as
-possible. “General, I pulled a string, expecting warm water to flow, and
-instead I received a cold shower-bath.”
-
-I fear I must have smiled somewhat sadly, for it was in a very kindly
-voice that the old gentleman replied:
-
-“I know, mossoo; I know what it feels like. I remember my feelings when
-a certain lady gave me the congé, as you'd say, in '62--was it?--or '63.
-Long time ago now, anyhow, but I haven't forgotten it yet. Only time
-I ever screwed my courage up to the proposing point; found afterwards
-she'd been engaged to another man for two years. She might have told me,
-hang it!--but I haven't died of broken heart, mossoo. You'll get over
-it, never fear.”
-
-“But it is not that she is engaged; it is not that she has repulsed me.
-She is your niece, General, but I fear her heart is of stone. She is a
-flirt, a--” In my heat I was getting carried away; I recalled myself in
-time, and added:
-
-“Pardon; I forget myself, General.”
-
-“I know, I know,” he replied. “I've felt the same about her myself,
-mossoo. She's a fine girl; good feelings and all the rest of it, but a
-little--er--unsatisfactory sometimes, I think. I've hoped for a little
-more myself now and then--a little--er--womanliness, and so on.”
-
-“I cannot understand her,” I said. “I pictured her full of soul--and
-now!”
-
-“I used to picture 'em full of soul, too,” said the General, “till I
-learned that a bright eye only meant it wasn't shut and that you could
-get as heavenly a smile by tickling 'em as any other way.”
-
-“General!” I exclaimed. “Are you a cynic, then?”
-
-“God forbid!” said the old boy, hastily. “I've seen too many good women
-for that. I only mean that you don't quite get the style of virtue you
-expect when you are--twenty-five, for instance. What you get in the best
-of 'em is a good wearing article, but not--er--the fancy piece of goods
-you imagine.”
-
-“In a word,” I said, as I rose to leave him, “you ask for a pearl and
-you get a cheap but serviceable pebble.”
-
-“Well, well,” he replied, good-humouredly, “we'll see what you say six
-weeks later.”
-
-“I have learned my lesson,” I answered. “You will see that I shall
-remember it!”
-
-The reader will also see, if his patience with the experimental
-philosopher and confident prophet is not yet quite exhausted.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXV
-
-
-“_We won't go home till morning!_”
-
---English Song.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9252]
-
-ND now for a 'burst'!” I said to myself.
-
-Adieu, fond fancies; welcome, gay reality!”
-
-I dressed for the evening; I filled my purse; I started out to seek the
-real friends I had been neglecting for the sake of that imaginary one.
-But I had only got the length of opening my door when I smiled a cynical
-smile. There was Halfred in the passage playing the same farce with
-Aramatilda. They stood very close together, remarkably close together,
-talking in low tones.
-
-“Thus woman fools us all,” I thought.
-
-With a little exclamation Miss Titch flew upstairs while Halfred turned
-to me with something of a convicted air.
-
-“Miss Titch has been a-telling me, sir--” he began.
-
-“I know; I saw her,” I replied, eying him in a way that disconcerted
-him considerably. “She has been telling you that woman is worthy of your
-homage; and doubtless you believed her. Did you not?”
-
-“No, sir. She ain't said that exactly,” he answered; “though it wouldn't
-be surprising, either, to hear 'er usin' them kind of words, considering
-'er remarkable heducation. Wot she said was--”
-
-“That you will serve till she finds another,” I interposed.
-
-“Miss Titch, sir, ain't one of that kind,” he replied, with an air of
-foolish chivalry I could not but admire in spite of myself.
-
-“Pardon, Halfred. She is divine; I admit it. What did she say, then?”
-
-“She says there's been a furriner pumpin' 'er about you, sir, this very
-hafternoon.”
-
-“Pumping?”
-
-“Hashing questions like wot a Bobby does; as if 'e wanted hall the
-correct facts.”
-
-“Ha!” I said. “And he asked them of a woman!”
-
-“Yes, sir; 'e comed up to 'er in the square and says 'e, 'You're Miss
-Titch, ain't you?' and 'e gets a-talkin' to 'er--a very polite gentleman
-'e was, she says--and then 'e sorter gets haskin' about you, sir, and
-wot you was a-doing and 'oo your friends was, and about the General,
-too.
-
-“And, in brief, he gossiped with her on every subject that would serve
-as an excuse,” I said. “Halfred, if I were you and I felt interested in
-Miss Titch--I say, supposing I felt interested in Miss Titch, I should
-look out for that foreigner and practise my boxing upon him!”
-
-[Illustration: 9254]
-
-“Then you don't think, sir--”
-
-“I don't think it was me he was interested in.”
-
-“Well, sir,” said my servant, with a disappointed air, for he founded
-great hopes of melodrama upon me, “in that case I shall advise Miss
-Titch to take care of 'erself.”
-
-I laughed.
-
-“Do not fear,” I replied. “They all do that. It is we who need the
-caution! Yes, Halfred, my sympathy is with that poor foreigner.”
-
-I fear my servant put down this sentiment to mere un-British
-eccentricity, but I felt I had done my duty by him.
-
-As for the inquisitive foreigner, I smiled at the idea that he had
-really addressed the fair Aramatilda for the purpose of hearing news of
-me. I may mention that I had heard nothing more of Hankey; nothing from
-the league; nothing had followed the arrival of the packing-case; the
-French government seemed to have ignored my escapade; there were many
-foreigners in London unconnected with my concerns; so why should I
-suppose that this chance acquaintance of Aramatilda's had anything to do
-with me? “If I am wanted, I shall be sent for,” I said to myself. “Till
-then, revelry and distraction!”
-
-First, I sought out Teddy Lumme. We met for the first time since I
-left Seneschal Court, but at the first greeting it was evident that all
-resentment had passed from his mind as completely as it had from mine.
-
-“Where the deuce have you been hiding?” he asked me, with his old
-geniality. “We wanted you the other night; great evening we had; Archie
-and me and Bobby and Tyler; box at the Empire, supper at the European,
-danced till six in the morning at Covent Garden; breakfast at Muggins;
-and the devil of a day after that. I'd have sent you a wire but I
-thought you'd left town. No one has seen you. Been getting up another
-conspiracy, what? Chap at the French embassy told me the other day their
-government expected your people to have a kick-up soon. By Jove, though,
-he told me not to tell any one! But you won't say anything about it, I
-dare say.”
-
-“I can assure you it is news to me,” I replied, “but in any case I
-certainly should not discuss the matter indiscreetly.”
-
-“And now the question is,” said Teddy, “where shall we dine and what
-shall we do afterwards?”
-
-Ah, it may be elevating and absorbing to experiment in Plato and guide
-the operations of philanthropy, but when the head is not yet bald and
-the blood still flows fast, commend me to an evening spent with cheerful
-friends in search of some less austere ideal! This may not be the
-sentiment of an Aurelius--but then that is not my name.
-
-We dined amid the glitter of lights and mirrors and fair faces and
-bright colors; a band thundering a waltz accompaniment to the soup, a
-mazurka to the fish; a babel of noise all round us--laughing voices,
-clattering silver, popping corks, stirring music; and ourselves getting
-rapidly into tune with all of this.
-
-“By-the-way,” I said, in a nonchalant tone, “have you seen Aliss
-Trevor-Hudson again?”
-
-“No,” said Teddy, carelessly, and yet with a slightly uncomfortable air.
-
-“Did you become friends again? Pardon me if I am indiscreet.”
-
-“Hang it! d'Haricot,” he exclaimed; “I'm off women--for good this time.”
-
-“Then she was--what shall I say?”
-
-“She kept me hanging on for a week,” confessed Teddy, “and then suddenly
-accepted old Horley.”
-
-“Horley--the stout baronet? Why, he might be her father!”
-
-“So Miss Horley thinks, I believe,” grinned Teddy. “His family are sick
-as dogs about it.”
-
-“And hers?”
-
-“Oh, Sir Henry has twenty thousand a year; they're quite pleased.”
-
-I smiled cynically at this confirmation of my philosophy.
-
-“I say, have you got over your own penshant, as you'd call it, for the
-lady?” asked Teddy.
-
-“My dear fellow,” I said, lightly, “these affairs do not trouble me
-long. I give you a toast, Teddy--here is to man's best friend--a short
-memory!”
-
-“And blow the expense!” added Teddy, somewhat irrelevantly, but with
-great enthusiasm.
-
-“A short life and a merry one!” I exclaimed.
-
-“Kiss 'em all, and no heel-taps!” cried Teddy. “Waiter, another bottle,
-and move about a little quicker, will you? Getting that gentleman's
-soup, were you? Well, don't do it again; d'ye hear?”
-
-[Illustration: 0258]
-
-At this moment a piercing cry reached us from the other side of the
-room. It sounded like an elementary attempt to pronounce two words,
-“Hey, Teddy! Hey, Teddy!” and to be composed of several voices. We
-looked across and saw four or five young men, most of them on their
-feet, and all waving either napkins or empty bottles. On catching my
-friend's eye their enthusiasm redoubled, and on his part he became
-instantly excited.
-
-“By Jove!” he exclaimed. “Excuse me one minute.”
-
-He rushed across the room and I could see that he was the recipient of a
-most hilarious greeting. Presently he came back in great spirits.
-
-“I say, we're in luck's way,” he said. “I'd quite forgotten this was the
-night of the match.”
-
-It then appeared that the universities of Oxford and Cambridge had been
-playing a football match that afternoon and that on the evening of the
-encounter it was an ancient custom for these seats of learning to join
-in an amicable celebration of the event.
-
-“The very thing we want,” said Teddy. “Come on and join these men--old
-pals of mine; dashed good chaps and regular sportsmen. Come on!”
-
-“But,” I protested, as I let him lead me to these “regular sportsmen,”
-
-“I am neither of Oxford nor Cambridge.”
-
-“Oh, that doesn't matter. Hi!” (this was to call the attention of his
-friends to my presence). “Let me introduce Mr. Black, of Brasenose;
-Mr. Brown, of Balliol, Mr. Scarlett, of Magdalen; Mr. White, of
-Christchurch. This is my honorable and accomplished friend, Mr. Juggins,
-of Jesus!”
-
-At this there was a roar of welcome and a universal shout of “Good old
-Juggins!”
-
-“But indeed my friend flatters me!” I exclaimed. “I have not the honor
-to be the Juggins.”
-
-No use in disclaiming my new name, however. Juggins of Jesus I remained
-for the rest of that evening, and there was nothing for it but to live
-up to the character. And I soon found that it was not difficult. All I
-had to do was to shout whenever Mr. Scarlett or Mr. Black shouted, and
-wave my napkin in imitation of Mr. White or Mr. Brown. No questions were
-asked regarding my degree or the lectures I attended, and my perfect
-familiarity with Jesus College seemed to be taken for granted. I do not
-wish to seem vainglorious, but I cannot help thinking that I produced a
-favorable impression on my new friends.
-
-“Juggins won the match for us,” shouted Mr. White. “Good old Juggins!”
-
-“I did, indeed. Vive la football! I won it by an innings and a goal!” I
-cried, adopting what I knew of their athletic terms.
-
-“Juggins will make us a speech! Good old Juggins!” shouted Mr. Black.
-
-[Illustration: 0260]
-
-“Fellow-students!” I replied, rising promptly at this invitation, “my
-exploits already seem known to you, better even than to myself. How I
-hit the wicket, kick the goal, bowl the hurdle, and swing the oar, what
-need to relate? Good old Juggins, indeed! I give you this health--to my
-venerable college of Jesus, to the beloved colleges of you all, to my
-respectable and promising friend, Lumme, to the goal-post of Oxford, to
-love, to wine, to the Prince of Wales!”
-
-Never was a speech delivered with more fervor or received with greater
-applause. After that I do not think they would have parted with me to
-save themselves from prison. And indeed it very nearly came to that
-alternative more than once in the course of the evening.
-
-[Illustration: 0262]
-
-We hailed two hansoms, and drove, three in each, and all of us
-addressing appropriate sentiments to the passers-by, to a music-hall
-which, as I am now making my début as a distinguished sportsman, I shall
-call the “Umpire.” I shall not give its real name, as my share in the
-occurrences that ensued is probably still remembered by the management.
-It was, however, not unlike the title I have given it.
-
-My head, I confess, was buzzing in the most unwonted fashion, but I
-remember quite distinctly that as we alighted from our cabs there was
-quite a crowd about the doors, all apparently making as much noise
-as they could, and that as we pushed our way through, my eyes were
-fascinated by a bill bearing the legend “_NEPTUNE_--the Amphibious
-Marvel! First appearance to-night! All records broken!” And I wondered,
-in the seriously simple way one does wonder under such conditions, what
-in the world the meaning of this cryptogram might be.
-
-We got inside, and, my faith! the scene that met our eyes! Apparently
-the football match was being replayed in the promenade and on the
-staircases of the Umpire. Three gigantic figures in livery--“the
-bowlers-out” as they are termed--were dragging a small and tattered man
-by the head and shoulders while his friends clung desperately to his
-lower limbs. Round this tableau seethed a wild throng shouting “Oxford!”
-
-“Cambridge!” and similar war-cries--destroying their own and each
-others' hats, and moved apparently by as incalculable forces as the
-billows in a storm. On the stage a luckless figure in a grotesque
-costume was vainly endeavoring to make a comic song audible; and what
-the rest of the audience were doing or thinking I have no means of
-guessing.
-
-“Oxford! To the rescue!” shouted Mr. Black.
-
-“Vive Juggins! Kick the football!” I cried, leading the onslaught and
-hurling myself upon one of the bowlers-out.
-
-“Good old Juggins!” yelled my admirers, as they followed my spirited
-example, and in a moment the house rang with my new name. “Juggins!”
- could, I am sure, have been heard for half a mile outside.
-
-The uproar increased; more bowlers-out hurried to the rescue; and
-I, thanks to my efficient use of my fists and feet, found myself the
-principal object of their attention. Had it not been for the loyal
-support of my companions I know not what my fate would have been, but
-their attachment seemed to increase with each fresh enemy who assailed
-me.
-
-At last, panting and dishevelled, my opera-hat flattened and crushed
-over my eyes, the lining of my overcoat hanging out in a long streamer,
-like a flag of distress, I was dragged free by the united efforts of Mr.
-White and Mr. Scarlett, and for an instant had a breathing space.
-
-[Illustration: 0264]
-
-I could see that the curtain was down and the performance stopped; that
-many people had risen in their places and apparently were calling for
-the assistance of the police, and that from the number of liveries in
-the mêlée the management were taking the rioters seriously in hand. In
-another moment two or three of these officials broke loose and bore down
-upon me with a shout of “That's 'im!”
-
-“Bolt, Juggins!” cried Mr. Scarlett. “We'll give you a start.”
-
-The two intrepid gentlemen placed themselves between me and my pursuers.
-I stood my ground for a minute, but seeing that nothing could withstand
-the onset of my foes, and that Mr. White was already on the floor, I
-turned and fled. The chase was hot. I dashed down a flight of stairs,
-and then, by a happy chance, saw a door marked “private.” Through it I
-ran and was making my way I knew not whither, but certainly in forbidden
-territory, when I was confronted by an agitated stranger. I stopped, and
-would have raised my hat had it not been so tightly jammed upon my head.
-
-The man looked at me for a moment, and then seemed to think he
-recognized my face.
-
-[Illustration: 0266]
-
-“You are Mr. Neptune?” said he.
-
-“You have named me!” I cried, opening my arms and embracing him
-effusively.
-
-“I am afraid you got into the crowd,” said he, withdrawing, in some
-embarrassment, I thought. “I suppose that is why you are late.”
-
-“That is the reason,” I replied, feeling mystified, indeed, but devoutly
-thankful that he did not recognize me as the hunted Juggins.
-
-“Well,” he said, “you had better go on at once, if you don't mind. There
-is rather a disturbance, I am afraid, and we have lowered the curtain;
-but perhaps your appearance may quiet them.”
-
-“My appearance?” I asked, glancing down at my torn overcoat, and
-wondering what sedative effect such a scarecrow was likely to have.
-Besides, I had appeared and it had not quieted them; though this, of
-course, he did not know.
-
-“I mean,” he answered, “that the nature of your performance is so
-absorbing that we hope it may rivet attention somewhat.”
-
-A light dawned upon me. I now remembered the bill outside the theatre.
-I was the “Amphibious Marvel!” Well, it would not do for the intrepid
-Juggins to refuse the adventure. For the honor of Jesus College I must
-endeavor to “break all records.” My one hope was that, as it was to be
-my first appearance, anything strange in the nature of my performance
-might be received merely as a diverting novelty.
-
-“The stage is set for you,” said my unknown friend. “How long will it
-take you to change?”
-
-“Change?” I replied. “This is the costume in which I always perform.”
-
-He looked surprised, but also relieved that there would be no further
-delay, and presently I found myself upon a huge stage, the curtain
-down in front, and no one there but myself and my conductor. What was
-I expected to do? I was sufficiently expert at gymnastics to make some
-sort of show upon the trapeze without more than a reasonable chance of
-breaking my neck. But there was no sign of any such apparatus. Was I,
-then, a strong man? I had always had a grave suspicion that those huge
-cannon-balls and dumb-bells were really hollow, and, in any case, I
-could at least roll them about. But there were neither cannonballs nor
-dumb-bells. No, there was nothing but a high and narrow box of glass.
-
-“It is all right, you will find,” said my conductor, coming up to this.
-
-I also approached it and gave a gasp.
-
-The box was filled with water--water about six feet deep!
-
-“I shouldn't care to dive into it myself,” he said, jocularly. “But I
-suppose it is all a matter of practice.”
-
-“Do I dive in--from the roof?” I asked, a little weakly, I fear.
-
-“Did you mean to?” he replied, evidently perturbed lest their
-arrangements had been insufficient.
-
-“Not to-night,” I said, with a sigh of relief. “But to-morrow night--ah,
-yes; you will see me then!”
-
-He regarded me with undisguised admiration.
-
-“You are all ready?” he asked.
-
-“Quite,” I replied.
-
-We went into the wings and the curtain rose.
-
-“I time you, of course,” said my friend, taking out his watch. “You have
-stayed under five minutes in Paris, haven't you?”
-
-I had discovered my vocation at last. The Amphibious Neptune was a
-record-breaking diver.
-
-“Ten,” I answered, carelessly, and with such an air as I thought
-appropriate to my reputation I walked onto the stage.
-
-“Gentlemen and ladies!” shouted my friend, coming up to the foot-lights.
-“This is the world-famed Neptune, who has repeatedly stayed under water
-for periods of from eight to ten minutes! He is rightly styled--”
-
-But at this point his voice was lost in such an uproar as, I flatter
-myself, greets the appearance of few Umpire artistes. “Good old
-Juggins!” they shouted. “Good old Juggins!” I was recognized now, and
-I must live up to my reputation as the high-spirited representative of
-Jesus College, Oxford.
-
-[Illustration: 0269]
-
-Kissing my hand to my cheering audience I mounted the steps placed
-against the end of the tank, and with a magnificent splash leaped
-into the water--I cannot strictly say I dived, for, on surveying the
-constricted area of my aquatic operations, it seemed folly to risk
-cracking a valuable head.
-
-Unluckily, I had omitted in my enthusiasm to remove even my top-coat,
-and either in the air or the water (I cannot say which) I drove my
-foot through the torn lining. Conceive now the situation into which my
-recklessness had plunged me--entangled in my overcoat at the bottom of
-six feet of water, struggling madly to free myself, with only a sheet
-of transparent glass between me and as dry a stage as any in England;
-drowning ridiculously in clear view of a full and enthusiastic house.
-My struggles can only have lasted for a few seconds, though to me they
-seemed longer than the ten minutes I had boasted of, and then--the good
-God be thanked!--I felt the side of my prison yield to my kicking,
-and in another moment I was seated in three inches of water, dizzily
-watching a miniature Niagara sweep the stage and foam over the
-foot-lights into the panic-stricken orchestra.
-
-“Down with the curtain!” I heard some one cry from behind, but before it
-had quite descended the Amphibious Marvel had smashed his way out of his
-tank and leaped into the unwilling arms of the double-bass.
-
-[Illustration: 0270]
-
-Ah! that was a night to be remembered--though not, I must frankly admit,
-to be repeated. Another mêlée with the exasperated musicians; a gallant
-rescue by Teddy and his friends; a triumphant exit from the Umpire borne
-on the shoulders of my cheering admirers; all the other events of that
-stirring night still live in the memory of “Good old Juggins.” To my
-fellow undergraduates of an evening I dedicate this happy, disreputable
-reminiscence.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXVI
-
-
-“_So you pushed that little snowball from the top? And now it has
-reached the bottom and become quite large? My faith! how surprising!_”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9272]
-
-T is an afternoon in December, gray and chilly and dark; neither the
-season nor the hour to exhilarate the heart. I am alone in my room,
-bending over my writing-table, endeavoring to relieve my depression upon
-paper.
-
-Since my appearance upon the music-hall stage I have enjoyed the society
-of my Oxford friends while they remained in town; I have revelled with
-Teddy; I have had my “burst”; and now the reaction has come. The solace
-of my most real and intimate friend, Dick Shafthead, is denied me, for
-he has apparently left London for a time; at any rate, his rooms are
-shut up and he is not there. No company now but regrets and cynical
-reflections. A short time ago what bright fancies were visiting me!
-
-“Woman gives and woman takes away,” I said to myself. “But she takes
-more than she gives!” I felt indeed bankrupt.
-
-[Illustration: 0273]
-
-Opening my journal and glancing back over rose-tinted, deluded eulogies,
-I came to the interrupted entry, “To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.” Ah, that
-I had profited by my own advice! “Foolish friend, beware!”--but he had
-not.
-
-I took up my pen and continued the exhortation.
-
-“_What is woman? A false coin that passes current only with fools! Art
-thou a fool, then? No longer!_”
-
-Just then came a tap at the door, followed by the comely' face of
-Aramatilda.
-
-“A lady to see you, sir,” she said.
-
-I started. Could it be--? Impossible!
-
-“Who is she?” I asked, indifferently.
-
-“She didn't give her name, sir.”
-
-“Show her in,” I replied, closing my journal, but repeating its last
-words to myself.
-
-Again the door opened. I rose from my seat. Did Kate hope to befool me
-again? No, it was not Kate who entered and said, in a tone of perfect
-self-possession:
-
-“Are you Mr. d'Haricot?”
-
-She was rather small, she was young--not more than two-and-twenty. She
-had a very fresh complexion and a pretty, round little face saved from
-any dolliness by the steadiness of her blue eyes, the firmness of her
-mouth, and the expression of quiet self-possession. She reminded me of
-some one, though for the moment I could not think who.
-
-“I am Mr. d'Haricot,” I replied. “And you?”
-
-“I am Aliss Shafthead.”
-
-“Dick's sister!” I exclaimed.
-
-“Yes,” she said, with a pleasant glimpse of smile that accentuated the
-resemblance. “Have you seen him lately?”
-
-“Unfortunately, no.”
-
-She gave me a quick, clear glance as if to test my truth, and then, as
-though she were satisfied, went on in the same quiet and candid voice:
-
-“I tried to find my cousin Teddy Lumme, but, as he was out, I have
-taken the liberty of calling on you, because I know you are one of
-Dick's friends--and because--” She hesitated, though without any
-embarrassment, and gave me the same kind of glance again--just such a
-look as Dick would have given, translated into a woman's eye.
-
-“Is anything the matter?” I asked, quickly. “Yes,” she said. “He has
-left home and we don't know where he is.”
-
-“What has happened?” I exclaimed.
-
-“He has told you of Agnes Grey, I think?” she answered.
-
-“He has given me his confidence.”
-
-“Dick came home a few days ago, and became engaged to her. My father was
-angry about it and now they have gone away.”
-
-She told me this in the same quiet, straightforward way, looking
-straight at me in a manner more disconcerting than any suggestion of
-reproach. It was I--I, the misanthrope, the contemner of woman, who had
-urged him, exhorted him to this reckless deed! And evidently she knew
-what my counsel had been. I could have shot myself before her eyes if I
-had thought that step would have mended matters.
-
-“Then they have run away together!” I cried. “They have gone away,” she
-repeated, quietly, “and, I suppose, together. I am afraid my father was
-very hard on them both.”
-
-“And doubtless you have learned what ridiculous advice I gave him?”
-
-“Yes,” she replied, “Dick told me.”
-
-“And now you abhor me.”
-
-“I should be much obliged if you would help me to find them,” she
-answered, still keeping her steady eyes upon my distracted countenance.
-
-“I ask your pardon,” I said. “It is help you want, not my
-regrets--though, I assure you, I feel them. Have you been to his
-chambers?”
-
-“Yes, I went and knocked, but I could get no answer.”
-
-“Perhaps they--I should say he--has returned by now. I shall go at once
-and see.”
-
-“Thank you,” she replied, still quietly, but with a kinder look in her
-eyes.
-
-“And you--will you wait here?”
-
-“Oh, I shall come, too, of course,” she said, and somehow I found this
-announcement pleasing.
-
-As we drove together towards the Temple, I learned a few more
-particulars of Dick's escapade. When he told his father his intention
-of marrying Miss Grey, the indignation of the baronet evidently knew
-no bounds, for even his daughter admitted that he had been less than
-courteous to poor Agnes, and what he had said to Dick was discreetly
-left to my imagination. This all happened yesterday; Agnes had retired,
-weeping, to her bedroom, and Dick, swearing, towards the stables. The
-orders he gave the coachman were only discovered afterwards; but his
-plans were well laid, for it was not till the culprits were missing at
-dinner that any one discovered they had only waited till darkness fell
-and then driven straight to the station. No message was left, no clew
-to their whereabouts. You can picture the state of mind the family were
-thrown into.
-
-Morning came, but no letter with it, and by the middle of the day
-Miss Shafthead could stand the suspense no longer, so, in the same
-business-like fashion as Dick, without a word to her parents, she had
-started in pursuit. The aunt she proposed to spend the night with was
-not as yet informed that she was to have a visitor; business first, and
-till that was accomplished my fair companion was simply letting fate
-take charge of her. “With fate's permission, I shall assist,” I said to
-myself.
-
-As we drew near to the Temple, she fell silent, and I felt sure that,
-despite her air of _sang-froid_, her sisterly heart was beating faster.
-
-“Do you think they--I mean he--will have returned?” she said to me,
-suddenly, as we walked across the quiet court.
-
-“Sooner or later he is sure to be in--if he is in London. May I ask you
-to say nothing as we ascend the stairs, and to permit me to make the
-inquiries?”
-
-She gave her consent in a glance, and we tramped up the old wooden
-staircase till we stopped in silence before Dick's door. These chambers
-of the Temple are unprovided with any bells or other means of calling
-the inmates' attention beyond the simple method of knocking. If the
-heavy outer door of oak be closed, and he away from home, or disinclined
-to receive you, you may knock all afternoon without getting any
-satisfaction; and it was the latter alternative I feared. At this
-juncture I could imagine circumstances under which my friend might
-prefer to remain undisturbed.
-
-For a moment I listened, and I was sure I could hear a movement inside.
-Then I knocked loudly. No answer. I knocked again, but still no answer.
-
-“Stay where you are and make no sound,” I whispered to my companion.
-“Like the badger, he must be drawn.”
-
-[Illustration: 0279]
-
-I fumbled at the letter-slit in the door as though I were the postman
-endeavoring to introduce a packet, and dropped my pocket-book on the
-floor outside. This I knew to be the habit of these officials when a
-newspaper proved too bulky. Then, quietly picking up the pocket-book,
-I descended the stairs with as much noise as possible, till I thought
-I was out of hearing, when I turned and ran lightly up again. Just as
-I was quietly approaching the top of the flight I saw the door open and
-the astonished Dick confront his sister. I stopped.
-
-“Daisy!” he exclaimed, in a tone which seemed to be made up of several
-emotions.
-
-“Dick!” she replied, her self-control just failing to keep her voice
-quite steady.
-
-“Was it you who knocked?” he asked, more suspiciously than kindly.
-
-“No, Dick; it was I who look that liberty,” I answered, continuing my
-ascent.
-
-He turned with a start, for he had not seen me.
-
-“You?” he said, sharply. “It was a dodge, then, to--”
-
-“To induce you to break from cover. Yes, my friend, to such extremities
-have you driven us.”
-
-“In what capacity have you come?” he asked, with ominous coolness.
-
-“As friends,” I replied. “Friends who have come to place ourselves at
-your service; haven't we, Miss Shafthead?”
-
-“Yes,” said she, “we are friends. Don't you believe me, Dick?”
-
-“Who sent you?” he asked.
-
-“I came myself.”
-
-“Does my father know?”
-
-“No.”
-
-Dick's manner changed.
-
-“It's very good of you, Daisy. Unfortunately--” here he hesitated in
-some embarrassment--“unfortunately, I am engaged--I mean I have some one
-with me.”
-
-At this crisis Miss Daisy rose to the occasion in a way that surprised
-me, even though I had done little but admire her spirit since we met.
-
-“Of course,” she replied, with a smile; “I was sure you would have,
-Dick, and I want to see you both.”
-
-“Come in, then,” he said.
-
-“And I?” I asked, with a becoming air of diffidence.
-
-“As I acted on your advice,” he answered, “you'd better see what you've
-done.”
-
-We entered, and there, standing in the lamplight, we saw the cause of
-all this mischief. She was a little, slender figure with a pretty little
-oval face in which two very soft brown eyes made a mute appeal for
-sympathy. There was something about her air, something about her demure
-expression, something about the simplicity of her dress and the Puritan
-fashion in which she wore her hair, that gave one an indescribably
-quaint and old-fashioned impression, and this impression was altogether
-pleasant. When she opened her lips, and in a voice that, I know not
-how, heightened this effect, and with an expression of sweetness and
-contrition said, simply: “Daisy, what must you think?” I forgot all my
-worldly wisdom and was ready, if necessary, to egg her lover on to still
-more gallant courses Daisy herself, however, capitulated more tardily.
-She did not, as I hoped, rush into the charming little sinner's arms,
-but only answered, kindly, indeed, yet as if holding her judgment in
-reserve:
-
-“I haven't heard what has happened yet.”
-
-I gave a sign to Dick to be discreet in answering this inquiry, which he
-however read as merely calling attention to my presence.
-
-“Oh, let me introduce Mr. d'Haricot--Miss Grey,” he said.
-
-So she was still Aliss Grey--and they had fled together nearly
-four-and-twenty hours ago. I repeated my signal to be careful in making
-admissions.
-
-“Where have you been?” said Daisy.
-
-“I have some cousins--some cousins of my father's--in London,” Agnes
-answered. “I am staying with them.”
-
-“And you are living here?” I said to Dick.
-
-“Where else?” he replied, with a surprise that was undoubtedly genuine.
-
-“The arrangement is prudence itself,” I pronounced. “You see, Miss
-Shafthead, that these young people have tempered their ardor with a
-discretion we had scarcely looked for. I do not know what you intend to
-do, but, for myself, I kiss Miss Grey's hand and place my poor services
-at her disposal!”
-
-And I proceeded to carry out the more immediately possible part of this
-resolution without further delay.
-
-The little mademoiselle was evidently affected by my act of salutation,
-while Dick exclaimed, with great cordiality:
-
-“Good old monsieur; by Jove! you're a sportsman!”
-
-Still his sister hung back; in fact, my impetuosity seemed to have
-rather a damping effect upon her.
-
-“What are you going to do, Dick?” she asked.
-
-“We are going to get married.”
-
-“What, at once?”
-
-“Almost immediately.”
-
-“Without father's consent?”
-
-“After what he said to us both--to Agnes in particular--do you think I
-am going to trouble about his opinion?”
-
-“But, Dick, supposing we can get him to change his mind?”
-
-“Who is going to change it for him? for he won't do it himself--I know
-the governor well enough for that.”
-
-“If I try to, will you wait for a little?”
-
-“It's no use,” said Dick.
-
-“Wait till we see, Dick!”
-
-“Yes, we shall wait,” said Agnes. “Dick, you will wait, won't you?”
-
-“If you insist,” replied Dick, though not very cordially.
-
-“Then you will try?” said Agnes.
-
-Daisy came to her side, took her hand, and kissed her at last.
-
-“Oh yes, I'll do my very best!” she exclaimed.
-
-There followed one of those little displays of womanly affection that
-are so charming yet so tantalizing when one stands outside the embraces
-and thinks of the improvement that might be effected by a transposition
-of either of the actors.
-
-“What will you say?” asked Dick, in a minute.
-
-“I don't quite know,” replied Daisy, candidly. “I suppose I had better
-say that--”
-
-She paused, as if considering.
-
-“Say that this is one of the matches made in heaven!” I cried. “Say that
-not even a father has the right to stand between two people who love
-each other as these do!”
-
-“By gad! Daisy,” said Dick, “you ought to take the monsieur with you. I
-don't believe there'd be any resisting him.”
-
-“Let me come!” I exclaimed; “I claim the privilege. My rash counsels
-helped to cause this situation; permit me to try and make the
-atonement!”
-
-Daisy looked at me, I am bound to say, rather doubtfully.
-
-“He has a wonderful way with him,” urged Dick. “We can't do that kind of
-eloquent appeal-to-the-feelings business in England, but it fetches us
-if it's properly managed. You see, I don't want to fall out with the
-governor. I know, Daisy, what a good sort he has been--but I am not
-going to give up Agnes.”
-
-“If you think Mr. d'Haricot would really do any good--” said Daisy.
-
-“He can but try,” I broke in.
-
-“Please let him,” said Agnes, softly.
-
-Ah, I had not shown her my devotion in vain!
-
-“All right,” said Daisy.
-
-And so it was arranged that we were to start upon our embassy next
-morning.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXVII
-
-
-“_High Toryism, High Churchism, High Farming, and old port forever!_”
-
---CORLETT.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9285]
-
-HAT evening, when I came to meditate in solitude upon the appeal
-I purposed to make, my confidence began to evaporate in the most
-uncomfortable manner. Was I quite certain that I should be pleading a
-righteous cause? Ah, yes; I had gone too far now to question my cause;
-but how would my eloquence be received? Would it “fetch if properly
-managed”? I tried to picture the baronet, and the more my fancy laid on
-the colors, the more damping the prospect became.
-
-“Ah, well; Providence must guide me,” I said to myself at last. And in
-a way that I am sufficiently old-fashioned--superstitious--call it what
-you will--to think more than mere coincidence, Providence responded to
-my faith. I could scarcely guess that my friend, the old General, who
-came in to smoke a pipe with me, was an agent employed by Heaven, but so
-he proved.
-
-[Illustration: 0286]
-
-“I want your advice,” I said. “What should I say, what should I do,
-under the following perplexing circumstances?”
-
-And, without giving him any names, I told him the story of Dick.
-
-“Difficult business, mossoo, delicate affair and that sort of thing,”
- he observed, when I had finished. “You say your friend is a pretty
-obstinate young fellow?”
-
-“Dick Shafthead is obstinacy itself,” I replied, letting his name escape
-by a most fortunate slip of the tongue.
-
-“Shafthead!” said the General. “By Jove! Any relation to Sir Philip
-Shafthead?”
-
-“Since you know his name, and can be trusted not to repeat it, I may
-as well say you that Sir Philip is the stern father in question. Do you
-know him?”
-
-“Knew his other son, Major Shafthead. He is the heir, isn't he?”
-
-“Yes,” I said. “Dick is the second son.”
-
-“Ever met Tommy Shafthead--as we called him--the Major, I mean?”
-
-“No; he is stationed abroad, I believe.”
-
-“Heard about _his_ marriage?”
-
-“No,” I replied. “Dick has seldom mentioned him.”
-
-“I wonder if he knows,” said the General.
-
-“What?” I asked.
-
-“About Tommy's marriage.”
-
-“Is there a mystery?”
-
-“Well,” said the General, “it's a matter that has been kept pretty
-quiet; but in case it may be any good to you to know, I might as well
-tell you. Tommy was in my old regiment; that's how I know all about it.
-When he was only a subaltern he got mixed up with a girl much beneath
-him in station. His friends tried to get him out of it, but he was like
-your friend, pig-headed as the devil. He married her privately, lived
-with her for a year, found he'd made a fool of himself, and separated
-for good.”
-
-“They were divorced?” I asked.
-
-“No such luck,” said the General. “He can't get rid of her. She's
-behaving herself properly for the sake of getting the title, and
-naturally she's not going to divorce him. So that's what comes of
-marrying in haste, mossoo. Not that there isn't a good deal to be said
-for a young fellow who has--er--a warm heart and wants to do the right
-thing by the girl, and so forth. I am no Chesterfield, mossoo; right's
-right and wrong's wrong all the world over, but--er--there are limits,
-don't you know.”
-
-“Has Major Shafthead any family?” I inquired.
-
-“No,” said the General.
-
-“Then Dick will succeed to the baronetcy one day?”
-
-“Or his son.”
-
-“Ah,” I reflected, “I see now why Sir Philip is so stern. He would not
-have a girl he dislikes the mother of future baronets, and he will not
-allow the younger son to follow, as he thinks, in the elder's steps.”
-
-At first sight this seemed only to increase my difficulties; but as I
-thought more over it, my spirits began to rise. Yes, I might make out a
-good case for Dick out of this buried story.
-
-“Well, good-night, mossoo,” said the old boy, rising. “Good luck to
-you.”
-
-“And many thanks to you, General.”
-
-The next morning broke very cold and gray. We were well advanced in
-December, and the frost was making us his first visit for the winter;
-indeed, it was cold enough to give Miss Daisy the opportunity of looking
-charming in a fur coat when I met her at the station. Dick came to see
-us off, and I must admit that I felt more responsibility than I quite
-liked in seeing the cheerful confidence he reposed in me.
-
-“It is but a chance that I can do anything,” I reminded him. “I may
-fail.”
-
-“No fear,” he replied. “I expect a pardon by return of post. By-the-way,
-we got the manor of Helmscote in Edward the Third's time--Edward the
-Third, remember--and the baronetcy after Blenheim. The governor doesn't
-object to be reminded of that kind of thing if you do it neatly. But you
-know the trick.”
-
-“I should rather depend on your sister's eloquence,” I suggested.
-
-“Oh, she's like me; can't stand on her hind legs and catch cake,”
- laughed Dick. “We are plain English.”
-
-[Illustration: 0290]
-
-“Not so very plain,” I said to myself, glancing at my travelling
-companion's fresh little face nestling in a collar of fur.
-
-She was very silent this morning, and I could now see that the
-experiment of taking down an advocate inspired her with considerably
-less confidence than it had Dick.
-
-“Confess the truth, Miss Shafthead,” I said to her, at last. “You fear I
-shall only make bad into worse.”
-
-“I don't know what you will do,” she replied, with a smile that was
-rather nervous than encouraging.
-
-“Command me, then; I shall say what you please, or hold my tongue, if
-you prefer it.”
-
-“Oh no,” she said, “you had better say something--now that you have come
-with me; only don't be too sentimental, please.”
-
-“I shall talk turnips till I see my opportunity; then I shall observe
-coldly that Richard is an affectionate lad in spite of his faults.”
-
-Daisy laughed.
-
-“I think I hear you,” she replied.
-
-Well, at least, my jest served to make her a little more at her ease,
-and we now fell to planning our arrival. She had left a note before she
-started for town, saying only that she would be away for the night, but
-giving no intimation of when she might return, so that we expected no
-carriage at the station. This, we decided, was all the better. We should
-walk to Helmscote, attract as little notice as possible on entering
-the house, and then she would find out how the land lay before even
-announcing my presence; at least, if it were possible to keep me in the
-background so long.
-
-“My father is rather difficult sometimes,” she said.
-
-“Hasty?” I asked.
-
-“I'm afraid so.”
-
-“He may, then, decline to receive me?”
-
-“It is quite possible.”
-
-The adventure began to assume a more and more formidable aspect. I
-agreed that great circumspection was required.
-
-At last we alighted at a little way-side station in the heart of the
-country. We were the only travellers who descended, and when we had come
-out into a quiet road, and watched the train grow smaller and smaller,
-and rumble more and more faintly till the arms of the signals had
-all risen behind it, and the shining steel lines stretched still and
-uninhabited through the fields, we saw no sign of life beyond a cawing
-flock of rooks. The sun was bright, the hoar-frost only lay under the
-shadow of the hedge-rows, and not a breath of wind stirred the bare
-branches of the trees. After a word of protest I took the fur coat over
-my arm, and Daisy's bag in my hand, and we set out at a brisk pace to
-cover the two miles before us.
-
-Presently a sleepy little village appeared ahead of us; before we
-reached it my guide turned off to the left.
-
-“It is a little longer round this way,” she said, “but I am afraid the
-people in the village might--well--”
-
-“Exactly,” I replied. “We are a secret embassy.”
-
-It was a narrow lane we were now in, winding in the shade of high
-beech-trees and littered with their brown cast leaves. Whether it was
-the charm of the place, or that we instinctively delayed the crisis now
-that it was so near, I cannot say, but gradually our pace slackened.
-
-“I am afraid they will be rather anxious about me,” said Daisy.
-
-“If they value you as they ought,” I replied.
-
-She smiled a little, and then, in a minute, we rounded a corner, and she
-said, “That is Helmscote we see through the trees.”
-
-I looked, and saw a pile of chimneys and gables close before us and just
-a little distance removed from the lane. Along that side now ran a
-high, ancient-looking wall with a single door in it, opposite the house.
-Evidently this unostentatious postern was a back entrance, and the gates
-must open into some other road.
-
-My fellow-ambassador paused and glanced in both directions, but there
-was no sign of any one but ourselves.
-
-“I think it will be best if I leave you in the garden,” she said, “while
-I go in and find mother.”
-
-“Yes, I think it will be wise,” I answered.
-
-She took out a key and opened the door in the wall, and I found myself
-in an old flower-garden screened by a high hedge of evergreens at the
-farther end.
-
-“Give me my coat and bag,” she said. “Many thanks for carrying them. Now
-just wait here. I shall be as quick as I can.”
-
-I lit a cigar and began to pace the gravel path, keeping myself
-concealed behind the bushes as far as I could. Decidedly this had a
-flavor of adventure, and the longer I paced, the more did a certain
-restlessness of nerves grow upon me. I took out my watch. She had been
-gone ten minutes. Well, after all, I could scarcely expect her to return
-so soon as that. I paced and smoked again, and again took out my watch.
-Twenty minutes now, and no sign of my fellow-ambassador. I began to grow
-impatient and also to feel less the necessity for caution. No one had
-discovered me so far and no one was likely to; why should I not explore
-this garden a little farther? I ventured down to the farther end, till
-I stood behind the hedge. It was charmingly quiet and restful and sunny,
-with high trees looking over the walls and rooks flapping and cawing
-about their tops, and a glimpse of the house beyond. This glimpse was so
-pleasing that I thought I should like to see more, and, spying a garden
-roller propped against the wall and a niche in the stone above it, I
-gave a wary look round, and in a moment more had scrambled up till my
-feet were in the niche and my head looking over the top.
-
-Below me I saw a grass terrace and a broad walk, and beyond these
-the mansion of Helmscote. No wonder Dick showed a touch of pride and
-affection when (on very rare occasions, I admit) he had alluded to his
-home. It was an old brick house of the Tudor period, though some parts
-were apparently more ancient than that and had been built, I should say,
-by the first Shafthead who had settled there. The colors--the red with
-diagonal designs of black bricks through it, the stone of the mullioned
-windows, the old tiles on the roof, the gray of the ancient portions,
-even, I fancied, the green ivy--had all been softened and harmonized by
-time and by weather till the whole house had become a rich scheme that
-would have defied the most cunning painter to imitate it.
-
-“I know Dick better since I have seen his home,” I said to myself. “And
-his sister? Yes, I think I know her better, too, though not so well as I
-should like to. Pardieu! what has become of her?”
-
-“Well, sir,” said a voice behind me, “what, are you doing there?”
-
-[Illustration: 0295]
-
-I turned with a start, my grip of the wall slipped, and, with more
-precipitation than grace, I descended to the garden again to find myself
-confronted by a decidedly formidable individual. He was a gentleman of
-something over sixty years of age, but tall and broad and upright far
-beyond the common, and even though his left arm was in a sling of black
-silk I should not have cared to try conclusions with him. His face was
-ruddy and fresh, his features aristocratic and well-marked, his eyes
-blue and very bright, and he was dressed in a shooting-suit and leather
-leggings. The air of proprietorship, the wounded left arm, and the
-family resemblance left me in no doubt as to who he was. I was, in fact,
-about to enjoy the interview with Sir Philip Shafthead for the sake of
-which I had entered his garden.
-
-Yet, strange though it may seem, gratitude for this stroke of good luck
-was not my first sensation.
-
-“Who the devil are you, and what are you doing here, sir?” he repeated,
-sternly.
-
-He had not heard of my arrival, then, and on the instant the thought
-struck me that since he did not know who I was, I might make the
-experiment of feigning ignorance of him.
-
-“I address a fellow-guest of Sir Philip's, no doubt? I said, with as
-easy an air as is possible for a man who has just fallen from the top of
-a wall where he had no business to have climbed.
-
-“Fellow-guest!” he repeated. “Do you mean to pretend you are visiting
-Helmscote?”
-
-“I am about to; though I confess to you, sir, that Sir Philip is at
-present unaware of my intention.”
-
-“Indeed?” said he.
-
-“Yes,” I said. “You are doubtless a friend of Sir Philip's, sir?”
-
-He emitted something that was between a laugh and an exclamation.
-
-“More or less,” he replied. “And who are you?”
-
-“My name is d'Haricot, and I am a friend of his son, Dick Shafthead.”
-
-He started perceptibly, and looked at me with a different expression.
-
-“I have heard your name,” he said.
-
-“As you are staying at Helmscote you have no doubt heard of Dick's
-imprudence?” I went on, boldly.
-
-“I have,” he replied, shortly. “Have you come to see Sir Philip about
-that?”
-
-“Yes,” I said. “I have travelled down with Miss Shafthead this morning;
-she left me here for a short time while she went in to see her parents,
-and while waiting I had the indiscretion to mount this wall, in order
-to obtain a better view of the beautiful old house. It is the finest
-mansion I have seen in England. No wonder, sir, that Dick is so attached
-to his home!”
-
-“Yet, as you are aware, he has run away from it,” said the baronet,
-dryly.
-
-“Ah,” I said, “you have doubtless heard the father's view of his
-escapade. Will you let me tell you the son's, while I am waiting?”
-
-“Had you not better keep this for Sir Philip--that is, if he consents to
-hear you?”
-
-“No,” I said, eagerly. “I have no secrets to tell, and if I can persuade
-you that Dick has some excuse for his conduct, perhaps you, too, might
-say a word to Sir Philip in his favor.”
-
-“It is unlikely,” said the baronet; “but go on.”
-
-At that moment I spied Daisy entering the garden, though fortunately
-her father's back was towards her. Swiftly I made a signal for her to
-go away, and after an instant's astonished pause she turned and slipped
-quietly out again. I had been given a better chance than I had dared to
-hope for.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXVIII
-
-
-“_At the journey's end a welcome;_
-
-_For the wanderer a friend!_”
-
---Cyd.
-
-
-[Illustration: 0299]
-
-IR I began, “I must tell you, in the first place, that there is this to
-be said for Dick Shafthead--and it is an argument he is too generous to
-use himself--he took counsel of a friend, who, perhaps rashly, urged him
-to follow the dictates of his heart.”
-
-“Indeed?” said the baronet.
-
-“Yes; I can answer for it, because I was that friend; and that is one of
-the reasons why I was so eager to plead for him with Sir Philip.”
-
-“It sounds a damned poor one,” said he. “'May I ask why you advised a
-son to rebel against his father?”
-
-“If I had thought his father would regard his marrying the girl he
-loved as an act of rebellion, I might--though I do not say I would--have
-advised him otherwise. But he had told me that Sir Philip was a man of
-great sense and understanding; therefore I argued that he would not take
-a narrow or prejudiced--”
-
-“Prejudiced!” he exclaimed.
-
-“Or a prejudiced view of his son's conduct. I knew he was a good
-churchman; therefore, as a follower of a Carpenter's Son, he could not
-seriously let any blemish on a girl's pedigree stand between his son
-and himself. Besides, he was so highly placed that an alliance with his
-family would be sufficient to ennoble. Furthermore, as he loves his
-son, he would wish for nothing so much as his happiness. Lastly, being
-a great gentleman, Sir Philip would give a lady's case every
-consideration.” But at this the baronet's feelings could no longer be
-contained.
-
-“By God, sir!” he exclaimed. “Do you mean to say you preached this
-damnable sermon to my--to Dick Shafthead?”
-
-I had not preached this sermon, nor anything very much like it; but
-these were undoubted the arguments I ought to have used.
-
-“I argued from what he had told me of his father,” I replied. “If I
-am incorrect in my estimate of Sir Philip; if he is not a Christian, a
-gentleman, an affectionate father, and a man of sense, then, indeed, I
-reasoned wrongly.”
-
-At this thrust beneath his guard, Sir Philip was silent, and I hastened
-to follow up my attack.
-
-“Another argument I used--and it seemed to me the strongest--was this:
-that as Dick had told me of the deep affection Sir Philip felt for
-Lady Shafthead, I knew his father had a heart which could love a woman
-devotedly, and he had but to turn back the pages of his own life to find
-himself reading the same words as his son.”
-
-“Sir Philip loved a lady of his own degree and station,” he answered.
-
-“And Dick a relative of that lady,” I said. “A girl with the same blood
-in her veins, and a character which no one can impeach. Can Sir Philip?”
-
-“Her character is beside the point,” said he.
-
-“Dick's father would not say so of his son's wife,” I retorted.
-
-Again the baronet seemed at a loss for a fitting answer; and from his
-expression I think he was on the point of revealing his identity, and
-sending me forthwith to the devil; but without a pause I hurried up the
-rest of my artillery.
-
-“Even if Sir Philip remains deaf to all that I have hitherto said,
-there yet remains this, which must, at least, make him pause. He will be
-losing a son.”
-
-“And the son will be losing his father.”
-
-“Yes; and therefore Sir Philip will not only be suffering, but
-inflicting a misfortune.”
-
-“I may remind you, sir, that Dick has only to listen to reason.”
-
-“Dick's mind is made up; and can you, sir, who know these Shaftheads,
-expect them to abandon their resolutions so easily? From whom has he
-inherited his firmness and tenacity? From his father, of course; and
-he from that long line of ancestors who have made the name of Shafthead
-honorable since the days of Edward the Third! The warrior who was
-ennobled on the field of Blenheim has not left descendants of milk and
-water!”
-
-“I am perfectly aware that Dick is obstinate as the devil,” replied the
-baronet, but this time in a tone that seemed to have in it a trace of
-something not unlike satisfaction.
-
-“And so, sir, his father will be ruthlessly discarding a second
-daughter-in-law.”
-
-At these words the change that came over the baronet was so sudden and
-violent that I almost repented of having uttered them.
-
-“What do you mean?” he exclaimed, in a stifled voice. “Dick didn't tell
-you? He does not know!”
-
-“No,” I replied. “I learned it through an old companion in arms of Major
-Shafthead.”
-
-For a moment there was a pause. Then he said, in a steadier voice:
-
-“And does this seem to you an argument for permitting another son to
-commit an act of folly?”
-
-“It does seem an argument for not breaking the last link with the
-generation to come.”
-
-The baronet turned round and walked a few paces away from me; then he
-turned back and said:
-
-“Well, sir, if it is any satisfaction to you, I may tell you that you
-have already discharged your task. I am Sir Philip Shafthead.”
-
-“What!” I exclaimed, in simulated surprise. “Then I must indeed ask your
-pardon for the freedom with which I have spoken. My affection for your
-son is my only excuse.”
-
-“He is fortunate in his friends, sir,” said Sir Philip, though with
-precisely what significance I could not be sure. “You will now have
-luncheon with us, I hope.”
-
-We walked in silence to the house, my host's face expressing nothing of
-what he thought or felt.
-
-In a long, low room whose oak panelling and beams were black with age
-and whose windows tinged the sunshine with the colors of old coats of
-arms, I was introduced to Lady Shafthead. She was like her daughter,
-smaller and slighter than the muscular race of Shaftheads, gray-haired
-and very charming and simple in her manner. Daisy stood beside her, and
-both women glanced anxiously from one to the other of us. What those
-who knew him could read in Sir Philip's countenance, I cannot say.
-For myself, I merely professed my entire readiness for lunch and my
-appreciation of Helmscote, but, surreptitiously catching Daisy's eye,
-I gave her a glance that was intended to indicate a fair possibility of
-fine weather.
-
-Evidently she read it as such, for she replied by a smile from which all
-her distrust had vanished.
-
-The meal passed off in outward calm and with no reference to the
-conversation of the morning. Indeed, Sir Philip scarcely spoke at all,
-and I was too afraid of making a discordant remark to say much myself.
-
-“You will excuse me from joining you in the smoking-room at present,”
- said the baronet, when we had finished. “Daisy, you will act as hostess,
-perhaps?”
-
-Nothing could have suited me better than this arrangement, and for an
-hour we discussed our embassy and its prospects with the friendliness of
-two intimates who have shared an adventure.
-
-Then Lady Shafthead entered and said with a smile towards us both,
-
-“Sir Philip has written to Dick.”
-
-“He is forgiven?” I cried.
-
-“He is told to come home.”
-
-“Alone?”
-
-“Yes, alone.”
-
-My face fell for a little, but Lady Shafthead's air reassured me.
-
-“For the present, at all events, alone,” she said.
-
-“And may the present be brief!” I replied. “And now his ambassador must
-regretfully return to town.”
-
-“Oh, but you are staying with us, I hope,” said Lady Shafthead.
-
-“With one collar, a tweed suit, and no razors?”
-
-“Can't you send for your things?” suggested Daisy.
-
-And that is precisely what I did.
-
-The next day the prodigal returned and had a long interview with his
-stern parent. At the end of it he joined me in the smoking-room.
-
-“Well?” I asked.
-
-“An armistice is declared,” said Dick. “For six months the matter is not
-to be mentioned.”
-
-“And that is all?”
-
-“All at present.”
-
-“But six months, Dick! Can you wait?”
-
-“Call it three weeks,” said Dick. “I know the limit to the governor's
-patience. He never let a matter remain unsettled for one month in his
-life.” He filled his pipe deliberately, standing with his legs wide
-apart and his broad back to the fire, while an expression of amused
-satisfaction gathered upon his good-looking countenance.
-
-“I say,” he remarked, abruptly, “don't think I'm ungrateful. You did the
-trick, monsieur, and I won't forget it in a hurry.”
-
-As he said this he turned his back to me and took a match-box from the
-mantel-shelf, as though he had merely made a casual remark about the
-weather, but by this time I knew the value of such undemonstrative
-British thanks.
-
-Another condition that Sir Philip had made was that his son should not
-return to London until the Christmas vacation was over, and, though this
-was a matter of merely two or three weeks, Dick found it harder than a
-six months' postponement of his marriage. But to me, I fear, it did
-not seem so unreasonable, for, as he could not have his sweetheart's
-company, he insisted on retaining mine; so, after a polite protest,
-which Lady Shafthead declared to be unnecessary and Daisy to be absurd,
-I settled down to spend my Christmas at Helmscote.
-
-At that time there was no one else staying in the house, so that when I
-sat down at dinner that night, one of a friendly company of five, I felt
-almost as though I was a member of the family. And the Shaftheads, on
-their part, seemed bent on increasing this illusion. Once I cheerfully
-alluded to my exile--cheerfully, because at that moment the thought had
-no sting.
-
-“An exile?” said Lady Shafthead, smiling at me as a good mother might
-smile. “Not here, surely. You must not feel yourself an exile here.”
-
-And, indeed, I did not. For the first time since I landed in this
-country, I felt no trace of strangeness, but almost as though I had
-begun to take root in the soil. Circumstances had not enabled me to
-enjoy any family life since I was a boy, and had I been given at that
-moment a free pardon and a ticket to Paris, I should have said, “Wait,
-please, for a few months, till I discover to which nation I really
-do belong. Here I am at home. Perhaps, if I return, I should now be
-lonely.”
-
-The very look of my room when I retired to bed impressed me further with
-this feeling. The fire was so bright, the curtains so warm, every
-little circumstance so soothing. I drew up the blind and looked out of a
-latticed casement-window into a garden bathed in moonlight, and my heart
-was filled with gratitude. Last thing before I went to sleep, I remember
-seeing the firelight playing on the walls and mingling with a long ray
-from the moon, and the fantastic designs seemed to form themselves into
-letters making a message of welcome. And this message was signed “Daisy
-Shafthead.”
-
-At what hour I woke I cannot say; but I felt as though I had not been
-long asleep, and that something must have roused me. The fire had burned
-low, but the long beam of moonlight still fell across my bed and made
-a patch of light on the opposite wall. Suddenly it was obscured, and at
-the same moment I most distinctly heard a noise--a noise at the window.
-I turned on my pillow with that curious sensation in my breast that by
-the metaphysical may easily be distinguished from exhilaration. I had
-left the curtains a little apart with an oblong of blind showing light
-between them. Now there was a dark body moving stealthily either before
-or behind this.
-
-For a moment I lay still, then, with a spring so violent as almost to
-suggest that I had exercised some compulsion upon my movements, I leaped
-out of bed.
-
-[Illustration: 0308]
-
-The next instant the body had disappeared, and I heard a scraping noise,
-apparently on the outside wall. I rushed to the window and drew aside
-the blind. The casement was certainly open, but then I had left it so.
-I put out my head and looked carefully over the garden. Not a movement
-anywhere, not a sound. I waited for a time, but nothing more happened,
-and then I went to bed again, first, I confess, closing and fastening
-the window; and in a little the whole incident was lost in oblivion.
-
-With the prosaic entry of daylight and a servant to fill my bath, I
-began to wonder whether the whole thing was not a dream, and, in fact,
-I had almost persuaded myself that this was the case when I spied,
-lying on the floor below the window, a slip of paper. It was folded and
-addressed in pencil to “_M. d'Haricot, confidential._” I opened it and
-read these words:
-
-“_Beware how you betray! Lumme also is watched. Therefore be faithful,
-if it is not too late!_”
-
-“What the devil!” I said to myself, after reading these incomprehensible
-words two or three times. “Is this a practical joke--or can it be
-from--?” I hastily turned the scrap over, looked at it upside down, and
-against the light, but no, there was no mark to give me a clew.
-
-So meaningless did the warning seem that before the day was far spent it
-had ceased to trouble me.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXIX
-
-
-“_Enter Tritculento brandishing a rapier. Ordnance shot off 'without._”
-
---Old Stage Direction.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9311]
-
-HAT day slipped by smoothly and swiftly as a draught of some delicious
-opiate, and every moment my fancy became anchored more securely to
-Helmscote. But upon the next morning I received a letter from my Halfred
-which, though it amused and moved me by the good fellow's own happiness,
-yet contained one perplexing piece of news. I give the epistle in his
-own words and spelling.
-
-“_DEAR Sir,--Hopping the close reached you safely i added the waterprove
-coat for shooting in rain supposing such happened. Miss Titch has
-concented to marry me some day but not now you being sir the objec of my
-attentions for the present hence i am happy beyond expression also
-she is and i hop you approve sir. Another package has come for Mister
-Balfour not to be oppened and marked u d t which Mr. Titch says means
-undertake to return but I have done nothing hopping I am right yours
-obediently ALFRED WINKES._”
-
-No, Halfred, U. D. T. did not mean “Undertake to return,” but bore a
-much graver significance, and this news made me so thoughtful that at
-least one pair of bright eyes remarked it at breakfast.
-
-“No bad news, I hope,” said Daisy, as we went together to the door to
-inspect the weather.
-
-“None that you cannot make me forget,” I replied, with a more serious
-gallantry than I had yet shown towards her.
-
-A little rise of color in her face did indeed make me forget all less
-absorbing matters.
-
-“By the time you leave us, you perhaps won't find us still so
-consoling,” she replied, with a smile.
-
-“Don't remind me of that day,” I said. “It is a long way off--a hundred
-years, I try to persuade myself!”
-
-Little did I think how soon fate would laugh at my confidence.
-
-To-day we were to shoot pheasants. The baronet had his arm out of the
-sling for the first time, and this so raised his spirits that I felt
-sure Dick's six months' probation were already divided by two, at least.
-Two friends were coming from a neighboring house, and the other gun
-was to be my second, Tonks, who was expected to stay for the night.
-Presently he appeared and greeted me with a friendly grin.
-
-“You haven't got Lumme to fire at to-day,” he remarked.
-
-I drew him aside.
-
-“Tonks,” I said, “that incident is forgotten--also the cause of it. You
-understand?”
-
-He had the uncomfortable perspicacity to glance over at Daisy as he
-replied:
-
-“Right O; I won't spoil any one's sport.”
-
-This game of pheasant-shooting is played in England with that gravity
-and seriousness that the Briton displays in all his sports. No
-preparations are wanting, no precautions omitted. You stand in a
-specially prepared opening in a specially grown plantation, while a
-specially trained company of beaters scientifically drive towards you
-several hundred artificially incubated birds invigorated by a patent
-pheasant food. Owing to the regulated height of the trees and the
-measured distance at which you stand these birds pass over you at such a
-height (and, owing to the qualities of the patent food, at such a pace),
-and the shot is rendered what they call “sporting.” Then, at a certain
-distance from his gun and a certain angle, the skilful marksman
-discharges both barrels, converts two pheasants into collapsed bundles
-of feathers, snatches a second gun from an attendant, and in precisely
-similar fashion accounts for two more. The flight of the bird is so
-calculated that the bad shot has little chance of hitting anything at
-all, so that the pheasant may return to his coop and be preserved intact
-for another day. When such a shot is firing, you will hear the host
-anxiously say to the keeper at the end of the day: “Did he miss them all
-clean?”
-
-And if the answer is in the affirmative, he will add:
-
-“Excellent! I shall ask him to shoot again.”
-
-A clean miss or a clean kill--that is what is demanded in order that you
-may strictly obey the rules of the sport, and at my first stand, where
-I was able to exhibit five severed tails, a mangled mass which had
-received both barrels at three paces, and seven swiftly running
-invalids, my enthusiasm was quickly damped by the face Sir Philip pulled
-on hearing my prowess.
-
-“Never mind,” said Daisy, who had come to see the sport, “you couldn't
-expect to get into it just at first.”
-
-“Come and give me instruction,” I implored her. “Don't be in such a
-hurry!” she cried, as she stood beside me at the next beat. “Look before
-you shoot--that's what Dick always says you ought to do. Now you've
-forgotten to put in your--wait! Of course! No wonder nothing happened;
-you had forgotten to put in the cartridges. Steady, now. Oh, but don't
-wait till it's past you! Dick says--Good shot! Was that the bird you
-aimed at?”
-
-“Mademoiselle, it was the bird a far-seeing Providence placed within the
-radius of my shot. 'L'homme propose; Dieu dispose.'”
-
-“I shouldn't trust to Providence _too_ much,” said she.
-
-Well, between Heaven and Miss Shafthead, aided, I must say for myself,
-by a hand and eye that were naturally quick and not unaccustomed to
-exercises of skill, I managed by the end of the day to successfully
-uphold the honor of my country. The light was fading when we stopped
-the battue, the air was sharp, and the ground crisp with frost. My fair
-adviser had gone home a little time before, and, wrapped in pleasant
-recollections and meditations, I had fallen some way behind the others
-as we walked homeward across a stubble-field. The guns in front passed
-out through a gate into a lane, and I was just following them when a man
-stepped from the shadow of the hedge and said to me:
-
-“A gentleman would speak to you.”
-
-I looked at him in astonishment.
-
-He was an absolute stranger, and his manner was serious and impressive.
-Behind him, in the opposite direction from that in which my friends had
-turned, stood a covered carriage, with another man wrapped in a cloak
-a few paces in front of it, and a third individual holding the horse's
-head.
-
-“That is the gentleman,” added the stranger, indicating the man in the
-cloak.
-
-In considerable surprise I turned towards the carriage.
-
-“M. d'Haricot,” said the shrouded individual.
-
-“M. le Marquis!” I cried, in astonishment.
-
-It was indeed none other than he whom I have before mentioned under
-the name of F. II, secretary of the league, conspirator by instinct and
-profession, by rank and name the Marquis de la Carrabasse.
-
-“What are you doing here, my dear Marquis?” I exclaimed.
-
-He regarded me with a fixed and searching expression.
-
-“The hour is ripe,” he said. “The moment has come to strike! Here is my
-carriage. Come!”
-
-For a moment I was too astonished to reply. Then, in a reasonable tone,
-I said:
-
-“Pardon, Marquis, but I must first take leave of my hosts.”
-
-“You cannot.”
-
-“That is to be seen,” I replied, losing my temper a little.
-
-Before I could make a movement the Marquis was covering me with a
-revolver, and from the corner of my eye I could see that the man who had
-first spoken to me had drawn one, too.
-
-“Enter the carriage,” said the Marquis. “I do not trust you.”
-
-[Illustration: 0317]
-
-“Since you give me no alternative between a somewhat prolonged rest in
-this ditch and the pleasure of your society, I shall choose the latter,”
- I replied, with as light an air as possible. “But I warn you, Marquis,
-that this conduct requires an explanation.”
-
-He continued to look sternly at me, holding his revolver to my head, but
-making no reply, while, in as easy a fashion as possible, I strolled up
-to the carriage.
-
-Then, to my surprise, I saw that they had employed one of the beaters to
-hold their horse, a man whom I recognized at once as having carried my
-cartridge-bag.
-
-“You may now go,” said the Marquis to this man, handing him coin. “And
-for your own sake be silent!”
-
-I could have laughed aloud at the delightful simplicity of thus hiring a
-stranger at random to aid in an abduction and then expecting him to
-keep his counsel, had I not seen in it an omen of further failures. So
-certain was I that the news of my departure would now reach Helmscote
-before night that I did not even trouble to send a message by him.
-
-The man who had first spoken to me jumped upon the box and took the
-reins, the Marquis and I entered the carriage, and through the dusk of
-that winter evening I was carried off from Helmscote.
-
-“Now, M. le Marquis,” I said, sternly, “have the goodness to explain
-your words and conduct to me.”
-
-He looked at me intently for a moment and then answered:
-
-“On your honor, are you still faithful?”
-
-“What do you mean, monsieur?”
-
-“Lumme has not betrayed us?”
-
-“Lumme!” I exclaimed, in astonishment, and then suddenly remembered the
-warning paper. “Did you throw that paper into my bedroom?”
-
-“An agent threw it for me. Did you obey the warning?”
-
-“Again I must ask for an explanation. What has M. Lumme to do with it
-and what do you suspect me of?”
-
-“M. Lumme is in the English Foreign Office,” said the Marquis, with
-emphasis.
-
-[Illustration: 0319]
-
-“And you suspect me of having betrayed my cause to him? On my honor,
-monsieur, even were I inclined to treason I should as soon think of
-confiding in that man whom you so rashly employed to hold your horse!”
-
-“Sir Shafthead is in the English government.” said the Marquis, unmoved
-by my sarcasm.
-
-“Sir Philip Shafthead was at one time a member of Parliament, but is so
-no longer. But what of that?”
-
-“You have told him nothing?”
-
-“I have not.”
-
-“You have been watched,” said he. “Every movement you have made is known
-to me.”
-
-“And why?” I exclaimed. “Why should you think it necessary to watch me?”
-
-“Why did you not send me any report yourself?”
-
-“You did not ask for one.”
-
-“I had not the honor to be informed of your address,” said he.
-
-“I wrote to you as soon as I was settled in London, and to this day have
-never received a reply.”
-
-“You wrote?” he exclaimed, with some sign of disturbance.
-
-“I did, I repeated, and I quoted some words I remembered from my letter.
-
-“Pardon!” said the Marquis, “I do remember now receiving that letter, but
-I must have mislaid it, and I certainly forgot that you had written.”
-
-“And, having forgotten an important communication, you proceed to
-suspect me of treason! This is excellent, M. le Marquis!”
-
-“My dear friend,” he replied, in an agitated voice, “you then assure me
-I was wrong in mistrusting you?”
-
-“Absolutely!”
-
-“Pardon me, my friend! I am overwhelmed with confusion!”
-
-He was so genuinely distressed, and the sincerity of his contrition
-was so apparent, that what could I do but forgive him? But what
-carelessness, what waste of time in dogging the steps of a friend, what
-indications of mismanagement at every turn! And even at that moment I
-was apparently embarked under this leader upon some secret and hazardous
-undertaking. Well, there was nothing for it but to do my best so far as
-I was concerned.
-
-“Ah, here is the station,” said he. “The train should now be almost
-due.”
-
-“Train for London, sir?” said the porter. “Gone ten minutes ago. No,
-sir, no more trains tonight.”
-
-“Peste!” cried the Marquis. “Ah, well, my friend, we must look for some
-lodging for the night.”
-
-“But perhaps we might catch a train at another station,” I suggested.
-
-Yes, by driving ten miles we could just catch an express.
-
-“Bravo!” said the Marquis. “You are full of ideas, my dear d'Haricot.”
-
-“And you?” I said to myself, with a shrug.
-
-We arrived just in time, and on the platform were joined by our driver.
-
-“Let me introduce Mr. Hankey,” said the Marquis.
-
-So this was the elusive Hankey. Well, I shall not take the trouble to
-describe him. Imagine a scoundrel, and you have his portrait. I
-was thankful he did not travel in the same compartment with us, but
-evidently regarded himself as in an inferior position.
-
-“You trust that man implicitly?” I asked the Marquis, when we had
-started.
-
-“Implicitly!” he replied, with emphasis.
-
-“I do not,” I said to myself.
-
-By ten o'clock that night I was seated with the Marquis de la Carrabasse
-in my own rooms, thinking, I must confess, not so much of politics and
-dynasties as of the friends I had just lost for who could say how long.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXX
-
-
-“_Conspiracy requireth a ready wit--and a readier exit_.”
-
---Francis Gallup.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9323]
-
-HE Marquis de la Carrabasse, secretary of the U. D. T.
-
-League, and known in their circles as F. II, enters this history so near
-its end that I shall not stop to give a prolonged account of him. Yet he
-was a person so remarkable as to merit a few words of description. The
-inheritor of an ancient title, but little money; a Royalist to the point
-of fanaticism; a man of wide culture and many ideas, and of the most
-perfect simplicity of character and honesty of purpose, he had devoted
-his whole life to the restoration of the monarchy, alternated during
-lulls in the political weather by an equally feverish zeal for
-scientific inventions of the most ambitious nature. Yet, owing to the
-excess of his enthusiasm and fertility of mind over the more prosaic
-qualities that should regulate them, practical success had hitherto
-eluded this talented nobleman. His flying-machines had only once risen
-into the element for which they were intended, and then the subsequent
-descent had been so precipitate as to incapacitate the inventor for
-a month. His submarine vessel still reposed at the bottom of the
-Mediterranean, and the last I heard of his dynamite gun was that the
-fragments were to be found anywhere within a radius of three miles
-around its first discharge. As to his merits as a conspirator, my exile
-bears witness.
-
-Yet he was a man for whom I could not but entertain a lively affection.
-Of medium height and slender figure, he had a large, well-shaped nose,
-a black mustache tinged with gray, whose vigorously upward curl had a
-deceptively truculent air at first sight, and a splendid dark eye,
-at times piercing and bright and at others dreamy as the eye of a
-somnambulist. Add to this a manner naturally courteous and simple,
-which, however, he was in the habit of artificially altering to one of
-decision and mystery, when he thought the rôle he was playing suited
-this transfiguration, and you have the Marquis de la Carrabasse, so far
-as I can sketch him.
-
-We had only just seated ourselves in my room, when Halfred entered
-beaming with pleasure at the prospect of seeing me again.
-
-“'Appy to see you back, sir,” he began, joyfully.
-
-“A most hunexpected pleasure, sir. I thought as 'ow you wasn't comin'
-till hafter the festivities of Christmas, sir.”
-
-But at this point his eye fell upon my friend the Marquis, and his
-expression changed in the drollest manner. Halfred's British prejudices
-had become adjusted to me by this time, but evidently the very
-appearance of this stranger was altogether too foreign for him. He
-became abnormally solemn, and handed me a budget of letters that had
-come this evening, with no further comment, while his eye plainly said,
-“Have a care what company you keep!”
-
-In the mean time my guest had been regarding him with a rapt and
-thoughtful gaze, and now he said, in the most execrable English:
-
-“Vill you please get me a bread or biskeet?”
-
-“Bread, sir?” replied Halfred, starting and looking hard at him. “Slice
-of 'am with it?”
-
-“What did he say?” the Marquis asked me, in French.
-
-I explained.
-
-“Ah, yes; some pork; certain! Vich it vill also quite good and so to
-be.”
-
-[Illustration: 0326]
-
-What he meant by this riddle I cannot tell; but I can assure you he sent
-the honest Halfred from the room with a very perturbed countenance.
-
-In a few minutes he had brought us some much-needed refreshments, and,
-with a last dark glance towards my unconscious visitor, retired for the
-night.
-
-On our journey the Marquis had kept his counsel with that air of mystery
-he could assume so effectively, nor had I pressed him with questions;
-but when our hunger was somewhat abated I began to consider it time that
-I was taken into his confidence. For I had gathered enough to feel sure
-that some coup was very shortly to be tried.
-
-“M. le Marquis,” I said, “have you nothing to tell me?”
-
-“First, my dear friend, read your letters,” he replied.
-
-“But they can wait.”
-
-“I beseech you!”
-
-A little struck by his tone, I opened the first, and as I read the
-contents I could not refrain from an exclamation of astonishment.
-
-“You have unexpected news?” he said.
-
-“'The Bishop of Battersea has much pleasure in accepting M. d'Haricot's
-kind invitation.'” I read, aloud. “Mon Dieu! I am to have a bishop to
-dinner in three days' time; and a bishop I have never invited!”
-
-“Are you sure?”
-
-“Positive!”
-
-“Read your other letters. Possibly they will throw light upon this.”
-
-I opened the next, and cried in bewilderment: “Sir Henry Horley has much
-pleasure also! But I have never asked him; I have only met him once at a
-country house!”
-
-The Marquis smiled.
-
-“Do not be too sure you have not asked these gentlemen,” he said.
-
-“But I swear--”
-
-“Read this!”
-
-He handed me an invitation-card on which, to my utter consternation,
-I saw these words engraved: “Monsieur d'Haricot requests the pleasure
-of--------company to dinner to meet--” and here followed a name it would
-be indecorous to reproduce in these frivolous memoirs, the name of that
-royal personage for whose cause we loyalists of France were striving!
-
-“What!” I exclaimed. “It is true?”
-
-“What is?”
-
-“That _he_ is to honor me with his company?”
-
-“Scarcely, my dear d'Haricot,” said the Marquis, with a smile. “But I
-have full authority to take what steps I choose.”
-
-“To employ this ruse?”
-
-“Certainly, if I deem it advisable.”
-
-“But to what end?”
-
-“Listen!” said he, his dark eyes glowing with enthusiasm and his face
-lighting up with patriotic ardor. “I have asked a party of your most
-influential friends to dine with you, inducing them by a prospect of
-this honor. You will tell them that his Highness cannot meet them there,
-but that he bids them, as they reverence their own sovereign, to assist
-his righteous cause. When they are inflamed with ardor, you will lead
-them from the table to the special train which I shall have waiting. A
-picked force will place themselves under our orders. By next morning the
-King shall be proclaimed in France.”
-
-For a minute I was too staggered to answer him.
-
-“But, my dear Marquis,” I replied, when I had recovered my breath,
-“_I_ cannot induce these sober and law-abiding Englishmen to follow me,
-perhaps to battle.”
-
-“Not all, perhaps, but some, certainly. My dear friend, you have the
-gift of tongues; you can move, persuade, influence to admiration. I
-myself would try, but you know the English language better, I think,
-than I, and then I am unknown to these gentlemen. Ah, you will not
-desert us, d'Haricot! Your King demands this service of you!”
-
-“Of me?”
-
-“Yes; he mentioned your name when I spoke to him of our schemes.”
-
-“He wished me to perform this act?”
-
-“I had not then arranged it. But is it for you to choose the nature of
-your service?”
-
-“If it is put to me thus, I shall endeavor to do my best,” I replied.
-“But I confess I do not care for this scheme of yours.”
-
-No use in protesting; the Marquis rose and embraced me with such
-flattering words as I hesitate to reproduce.
-
-“It is done! It is accomplished already!” he cried.
-
-I disengaged myself and endeavored to reflect. “This is all very well,”
- I said. “But of what use to us is a bishop?”
-
-“We wish the support of the English Church.”
-
-“And Sir Henry Horley?”
-
-“Also of the nobility.”
-
-“But he is scarcely a nobleman, only a baronet,” I explained. “And,
-besides, I only know him slightly. He is not my friend.”
-
-“Embrace him; make him your friend.”
-
-I fancied I saw myself; but what was the good in arguing with an
-enthusiasm like this?
-
-I proceeded to read my other answers, and I did not know whether to feel
-more astonished at the list of guests or at the curious knowledge of my
-movements and acquaintances which my visitor must somehow have acquired.
-The acceptances included Lord Thane, with whom I had only the very
-slightest acquaintance, Mr. Alderman Guffin, at whose house I had once
-dined, one or two people of social position whom I had met through Lumme
-or Shafthead, and General Sholto.
-
-“Ah, the General!” I said. “Well, he, at least, is an old soldier.”
-
-“Be kind to him; he is our brightest hope,” said the Marquis.
-
-I looked at him in astonishment. “What do you know of him?”
-
-I could have sworn he blushed. “What do I not know of all your friends?”
- he replied.
-
-Could it be from the inquiries of Hankey he had learned all this, and
-took so much interest in my gallant neighbor? I remembered now how the
-General had once met that disreputable individual. Yet it did not seem
-to me altogether a complete explanation.
-
-But conceive of my astonishment when, among the few refusals, I found
-one from Fisher!
-
-“What do you know of him?” I asked.
-
-“He is a philanthropist. I regret that he cannot accept,” said the
-Marquis, with an air of calm mystery yet with another suggestion of
-flush in his face. He knew of my philanthropic escapade, then--and how?
-
-“Well,” I said, at last, “I am prepared to assist you in any way I can.
-In the two days left I shall arrange my affairs--and now I must send
-some explanation of my disappearance to Lady Shafthead.”
-
-He rose and grasped my arm.
-
-“Not a word to her,” he said. “I do not trust the member of Parliament.
-We must run no risk.”
-
-I protested, but no; he implored me--commanded me.
-
-“A line to my friend Dick Shafthead, then?” I suggested. “He, at least,
-is beyond suspicion.”
-
-“My friend, we are serving the King,” he replied.
-
-“Very well,” I said, though my heart sank a little at this sudden
-rupture with those kind friends.
-
-My visitor rose to depart, and just then his eye fell on two immense
-packing-cases placed against the wall.
-
-“Ah,” he said, “they are safe, I see.”
-
-I took a lamp in my hand and came up to examine the latest arrived of
-those mysterious gifts, whose source I now plainly perceived.
-
-“I should not let that lamp fall upon this box of bonbons,” he remarked,
-lightly, and yet with a note of warning.
-
-“Why not, Marquis?”
-
-“The little packet may explode,” he laughed.
-
-Involuntarily I started.
-
-“It contains, then--?”
-
-“The munitions of war,” he answered.
-
-“And the other?”
-
-“Was to try you, my dear friend. It contains only bricks. Forgive me for
-putting you to this test. I should not have doubted you.”
-
-“But to try me?” I said. “How would you have known if I had called in a
-detective?”
-
-The Marquis looked at me.
-
-“I had not thought of that,” he confessed.
-
-It was my turn to look at him, and, I fear, not altogether with a
-flattering eye.
-
-“Why was it addressed to Mr. Balfour?” I asked.
-
-“A ruse,” he replied, with his air of confident mystery returning
-somewhat. “A mere ruse, my dear friend.”
-
-“I perceive,” I said, a little dryly. “Well, you can trust me for my
-own sake not to explode this box; also to make the preparations for this
-dinner.”
-
-“My friend, I make them.”
-
-“You?”
-
-“Read your invitation again.”
-
-I looked at the card sent out in my name, and then I noticed that an
-address was placed in one corner, “Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand.”
-
-“What is the meaning of this?”
-
-“It is a house I have hired for two weeks,” he replied. “The dinner, as
-you see, takes place there. Hankey and I make all preparations.”
-
-“And I do nothing?”
-
-“You prepare yourself for the hour of action. Brave friend, au revoir!”
-
-“Au revoir, Marquis.”
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXXI
-
-
-“_So you are actuated by the best motives? Poor devil! Have you tried
-strychnine?_”
-
---La Rabide.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9334]
-
-HE next morning I called in Mr. and Mrs. Titch, Aramatilda, and Halfred,
-and, in a voice from which I could not altogether banish my emotion, I
-told them that I must give up my rooms and that they might never see me
-again. From Halfred's manner I could not but suspect he was prepared for
-ominous news; he had evidently concluded that a man who introduced after
-dark such a visitor as I had entertained last night must stand on the
-brink either of insanity or crime. Yet his stoical look as he heard my
-announcement said, better than words: “You may disgust my judgment, but
-you cannot shake my fidelity. Through all your errors I am prepared
-to stand by you, and brush your trousers even on the morning of your
-execution.”
-
-Mr. Titch's sorrow was, I fear, somewhat tinctured by regret at the loss
-of a profitable tenant, though I am sure it was none the less sincere on
-that account.
-
-“What 'as to 'appen, 'as to come about, as it were, sir,” he said,
-clearing his throat for a further flight of imagery. “You will 'ave our
-good wishes even in furrin parts, if I may say so, which people which
-has been there tells me is enjoyable to such as knows the language, and
-'as the good fortune for to be able to digest their vittles. We will
-'old your memory, sir, in respectful hestimation, and forward letters as
-may be required.”
-
-Mrs. Titch being, as I have said before, a lady of no ideas and a kindly
-heart, confined her remarks to observing:
-
-“As Mr. Titch says, what has to be is such as we will hendeavor to
-hestimate regretfully, sir.” As for Aramatilda, she looked as though
-she would have spoken very kindly, indeed, had the occasion been more
-private. That, at least, was the sentiment which a wide experience
-enabled me to read in her brown eye.
-
-“My dear Miss Titch,” I said to her, “I leave you in good hands. Next to
-having the felicity myself, I should sooner see you solaced by my good
-friend Halfred than by any one I can think of.”
-
-“Oh, sir,” she replied, with a most becoming blush, “you are very kind.
-But that won't be till you don't require him no longer.”
-
-“Right you are,” said her lover, regarding her with an approving eye.
-“And Mr. d'Haricot ain't done with me yet.”
-
-“I fear that I shall be in two days more,” I replied, with a sadness
-that brought a sympathetic tear to Aramatilda's eye.
-
-“That's to be seen, sir,” said Halfred, with resolution.
-
-Well, I dismissed these good people with a sadder heart than I cared to
-allow, and had turned to arranging my papers and collecting my bills,
-when I was interrupted by the entry of the Marquis in person.
-
-He was busy, he told me, busy about many things; and his manner was
-mystery itself. Yet even a conspirator is human, and evidently he had
-other interests in London besides our plot. From one or two sighs and
-tender allusions I shrewdly guessed the nature of these.
-
-“You are not in love?” he asked me, suddenly.
-
-“In love!” I exclaimed, in astonishment, for his previous sentence,
-though uttered with a melancholy air, had referred to the merits of a
-new rifle.
-
-“In love with a dark lady?”
-
-I started. Could he refer to Kate? Yes, of course, now I come to think
-of it, he or his agents must have seen us together.
-
-“No, Marquis, I give you my word I am not in love either with black or
-brown,” I answered, gayly.
-
-“I am glad, my dear friend,” he replied, “for I would not do you an
-injury.”
-
-“An injury?” I exclaimed, with a laugh. “Would you be my rival?”
-
-“No, no,” he said, though with some confusion. “I meant, my friend, that
-I would not like to tear you from her.”
-
-“The conspirator must conspire,” I said, with a smile.
-
-“True; true, indeed,” he replied, with a sigh.
-
-Used as I was to the complex nature of my friend, I could not help
-thinking that this was indeed a sentimental mood for one who was about
-to undertake as mad and desperate an enterprise as ever patriot devised.
-
-“To-morrow morning I shall not be available,” he told me as he left;
-“but after that--the King!”
-
-“You do not, then, prepare my dinner to-morrow morning?”
-
-“No, monsieur, not in the morning.”
-
-By that night I had made the few preparations that were necessary before
-striking my tent and leaving England, perhaps forever. The next day
-found me idle and restless, and suddenly I said to myself:
-
-“The most embarrassing part of this wild enterprise is being thrown
-upon me. I want a friend by my side, and if the Marquis de la Carrabasse
-objects, let the devil take him!”
-
-Ah, if I could have summoned Dick Shafthead!
-
-But, having undertaken not to do this, I selected that excellent
-sportsman, his cousin Teddy Lumme. His courage I had proved, his wisdom
-I felt sure was not sufficient to deter him from mixing himself up with
-the business, and as for any harm coming to him, I promised myself to
-see that he did not accompany me too far.
-
-I went to him, and having sworn him to secrecy, I told him of the
-dinner, he, of course, knew that his father, the venerable bishop, was
-to be of the party, and when he heard the part that the guests were
-afterwards expected to play you should have seen his face.
-
-“Of course they will not listen to me for a moment,” I said. “The idea
-is absurd. But I am bound to carry out my instructions, and afterwards
-to start upon this reckless expedition myself. I only ask you, as
-my friend, to come to the dinner, and keep me in countenance, and
-afterwards take my farewells to your cousins--I should say, to all my
-English friends. Will you?”
-
-“Like a shot,” said Teddy. “I wouldn't miss the fun for anything. By
-Jove! I think I see my governor's face! I say, you Frenchies are good,
-old-fashioned sportsmen. You're going to swim the channel, of course?”
-
-His mirth, I confess, jarred a little upon me.
-
-“I am serving my King,” I reminded him.
-
-“Oh, I know, I'd do the same myself if these dashed Radicals got into
-power over here. A man can't be too loyal, I always say. All right; I'll
-come. What time?”
-
-“Eight o'clock.”
-
-In the afternoon a decidedly disquieting incident occurred. Much more to
-my surprise than pleasure, I received a brief visit from Mr. Hankey.
-I had disliked the thought of this individual ever since my burgling
-experience, and now that I saw him in the flesh I disliked him still
-more.
-
-“Do you come from the Marquis de la Carrabasse?” I asked.
-
-“His Lordship has directed me to remove the packing-case to-night.”
-
-“Take it,” I said. “My faith! I prefer its room to its company! The
-Marquis is at Beacon Street at present, I suppose?”
-
-“His Lordship is engaged.”
-
-“Engaged?”
-
-“Rather more than that,” said Mr. Hankey, with a peculiar look. “But he
-will call upon you to-morrow and give you your orders.”
-
-“My orders!” I exclaimed, with some annoyance.
-
-[Illustration: 0340]
-
-“His Lordship used that expression.”
-
-Mr. Hankey looked at me as if to see how I liked this, and then, in a
-friendly tone which angered me still further, remarked:
-
-“It's a risky job, is this.”
-
-“A man must take some risks now and then.”
-
-“If the police were to hear?” he suggested.
-
-“Who is to tell them?”
-
-“It might be worth somebody's while.”
-
-“And whom do you suspect of being that traitor?” I exclaimed.
-
-With a very abject apology for giving any offence, Mr. Hankey withdrew.
-
-“They still suspect me!” I said to myself, indignantly.
-
-Then another suspicion, still more unpleasant, struck me. Was Mr. Hankey
-making an overture to me? I tried to dismiss it, but my spirits were not
-very high that night, not even after the explosive packing-case had been
-removed.
-
-Before retiring to bed on the last night which I was going to spend in
-this land, a sudden and happy idea struck me. Not to write a single line
-of explanation to my late hosts was ungrateful and unbecoming in one
-who boasted of belonging to the politest nation in Europe. I had only
-promised not to write to Lady Shafthead and Dick. Well, then, there was
-nothing to hinder me from writing to Daisy. I admit that Sir Philip also
-was exempt, but this alternative did not strike me so forcibly. If I
-posted my letter in the morning, she would not get it till it was too
-late to take any steps that might interfere with our plans. I seized my
-pen and sat down and wrote:
-
-“Dear Miss Shafthead,--Truly you must think me the most ungrateful and
-unmannerly of guests; but, believe me, gratitude and kind recollections
-are not what have been lacking. I am prevented from explaining fully,
-but I may venture to tell you this--since the occasion will be past even
-when you read these lines; I am again in the service of one who has the
-first call upon my devotion. Without naming him, doubtless you can guess
-who I mean. Silence towards the kind Lady Shafthead and towards my
-dear friend Dick has been enjoined upon me; but since you were not
-specifically mentioned I cannot resist the impulse to assure you of my
-eternal remembrance of your kindness and of yourself. Convey my adieus
-to Sir Philip and to Lady Shafthead, and assure them that their
-hospitality and goodness will never be forgotten by me.
-
-“Tell Dick that I shall write to him later if fate permits me. If not,
-he can always assure himself that I was ever his most affectionate and
-devoted friend.
-
-“I leave England to-night on an adventure which I cannot but allow seems
-hopeless and desperate enough, but, as I once said to you on a less
-serious occasion, _'l'homme propose, Dieu dispose_.' The cause calls, I
-can but obey! I know not what English customs permit me to sign myself,
-but in the language of sincerity and of the heart, I am, yours eternally
-and gratefully.”
-
-And then I signed my name, lingering a little over it to delay the
-curtain which seemed to descend when I folded my letter and placed it in
-its envelope.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXXII
-
-
-“_Farewell, my friends, farewell! We have had some brave days
-together!_”
-
---Boulevardé.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9343]
-
-HE momentous day had come. Looking out of my bedroom window in the
-morning, I saw the sunshine smiling on the bare trees and the frosted
-grass of the park. At that hour the shadows were long, and Rotten Row
-quiet as a lonely sea-shore, so that a lively flock of sparrows seemed
-to fill the whole air with their cheerful discussions, and I fancied
-they were debating whether they could let me go away and leave forever
-this little home that I had made.
-
-“I would stay,” I said to them; “I would stay if I could.”
-
-But, alas! it was to be my last day in England, the land I had first
-regarded as so alien, and then come to love so well. And there was no
-use standing here letting my spirit run down at heel.
-
-Yet, when I came into my sitting-room and saw the bareness that had
-already been made by my preparations for departure, the absence of
-little things my eye had before fallen upon without noticing, and the
-presence of a half-packed box in one corner, my heart began to feel an
-emptiness again.
-
-“I feel as a man must when he is going to get married,” I said to
-myself, and endeavored to smile gayly at my humor.
-
-Hardly had I finished my breakfast, endeavoring as I read as usual my
-morning paper to forget that I was leaving all this, when I heard a
-quick step in the passage, and with a brisk, “Bon jour, monsieur!” the
-Marquis entered.
-
-“Ah,” I thought, “he is in his element. No regrets with him.”
-
-Yet, after the first alertness of his entry, I observed, to my surprise,
-a certain air of sentiment about him, which, if it was not regret, was
-at least not martial keenness.
-
-“You did your business yesterday?” I said.
-
-“I did,” he replied, in a grave tone, and with something like a tender
-look in his eye. “I did some private business of an unforgettable and
-momentous nature, my dear d'Haricot. But not now; I shall not tell you
-now. To-night you shall know.”
-
-Then, making a gesture as if to banish this mood, he threw himself into
-a chair, and, bending his brows in a keen look at me, said:
-
-“But to business, my friend; to the business we are embarked upon.”
-
-“Precisely,” I said. “I await it.”
-
-“In this house where you dine are two entrances. Your guests come in by
-one, and you await them in the rooms I have set apart for you. In the
-rest of the house I operate.”
-
-“And what do you do?”
-
-“I gather our force. Men picked by my agents are to be invited to enter
-by the other door. I offer them refreshments. They follow, or, rather,
-precede me. In a lane at the back of the house is yet another door;
-against it is drawn up a great van, a van used for removing furniture, a
-van of colossal size. You see?”
-
-“Hardly; I fear I am stupid.”
-
-“You do not see? Ah, my dear d'Haricot, eloquence is your gift,
-contrivance mine. I have not invented a flying-machine, a submarine
-vessel, and a dynamite gun for nothing. These men enter this van; the
-door is closed upon them; it is driven to the station, put on board my
-special train, and taken to the coast. They then emerge; I address them
-in such terms as will make it impossible for them to withdraw, even if
-they wish--and they are to be desperate, picked men; we arm them,
-and then to France! On the coast of Normandy we will be met by five
-regiments of foot, two of cavalry, and six batteries of artillery which
-I am assured will declare for the King. Paris is ripe for a revolution.
-Vive le Roi! Why are you silent? Is it not well thought of, my friend?”
-
-“It is indeed ingenious,” I replied. “But the carrying of it out I
-foresee may not be so easy.”
-
-“Nothing can fail. My confidence is implicit. Was I ever deceived?”
-
-I might with truth have retorted “always,” but I saw that I should only
-enrage him.
-
-I shrugged my shoulders and asked:
-
-“You superintend the affair?”
-
-“In the house. Hankey makes the arrangements at the station. Much is to
-be done. One man to one task.”
-
-“And I? What do I do?”
-
-“You bring your friends to the station. At eleven precisely the train
-starts. Do not be late.”
-
-“But if they will not accompany me?”
-
-“If all else fails, we go to France together. At least our brave
-countrymen will not be afraid, whatever these colder islanders may do.”
-
-“You may depend on me for that,” I answered. “By-the-way, I should tell
-you that I bring a friend of my own to dinner--M. Lumme.”
-
-“Lumme!” cried the Marquis. “You can trust him?”
-
-“Implicitly.”
-
-“And I trust you. Bring him if he is brave.” There was a minute's pause;
-he had suddenly fallen silent.
-
-“Is that all?” I asked.
-
-“All for the present, my brave friend; au revoir! We meet at the station
-at eleven precisely! Do not forget!”
-
-He leaped up with that surprising vivacity that marked his movements,
-and before I had time to accompany him even as far as the door he had
-closed it and gone. In a moment, however, I heard his voice outside,
-apparently engaged in altercation with some one, and then followed some
-vigorous expletives and a brisk sound of scuffling.
-
-I rushed into the passage, and there, to my consternation, beheld my
-friend retreating towards me before a vigorous onslaught by Halfred,
-who was flourishing his fists and exclaiming, “Come out, you beastly
-mounseer! Come out into the square and I'll paste your hugly mug inter a
-cocked at!”
-
-“Diable!” cried the Marquis. “Leetle bad man stop short! Mon Dieu! What
-can it was?”
-
-“Halfred!” I cried, indignantly. “Cease! What is the meaning of this?”
-
-“Beg pardon, sir,” said Halfred, desisting, but unabashed at my anger.
-“You told me yourself, sir, as ow I was to do it.”
-
-“I told you? Explain! Come into my room.”
-
-I brought the two combatants in, closed the door, and repeated, sternly:
-
-“Explain, sir!”
-
-“This is the furriner as haccosted Miss Titch, sir,” said Halfred,
-doggedly, “and you said as 'ow I'd better practise my boxing on 'im.
-I didn't spot 'im the other night, but Miss Titch she seed 'im this
-morning and told me.”
-
-“I know not the meaning you mean when you speak so fast!” cried the
-Marquis. “But I see you are intoxicate, foddled and squiff. Small beast,
-to damn with you!”
-
-[Illustration: 0348]
-
-“You just wait till I gets you outside,” said Halfred, ominously. “I'll
-give you something to talk German about!”
-
-“German!” shrieked the Marquis, catching at the only word he understood.
-“If you was gentleman not as could be which I then should--ha!” And he
-stamped his foot and made a gesture of lunging my retainer through the
-chest.
-
-“Oh, you're ready to begin, are you?” said Halfred, mistaking this
-movement for the preliminary to a box and throwing himself into the
-proper attitude.
-
-“With your permission, sir.”
-
-“Stop!” I said. “You certainly have not my permission! I shall dismiss
-you if you strike my guest again!”
-
-Yet I fear I was unable to keep my countenance as severe as it should
-have been. I then turned to the livid and furious Marquis and explained
-the cause of the assault.
-
-“Address that girl!” cried he. “It was to ask her questions--questions
-about you, monsieur, when I wrongly distrusted you. This is a scandalous
-charge!”
-
-“But you see how liable your action was to misconstruction?”
-
-“I see, I do see!” he exclaimed. “He was right to feel jealous! I have
-given many good cause, yes, I confess it. Explain to him.”
-
-I told Halfred of his mistake.
-
-“Well, sir,” he said, “I takes your word, sir.”
-
-“Good young man,” said the Marquis, turning to him with his finest
-courtesy. “I forgive. I admire. You have right. Many have I love, but
-your mistress is not admired of me. She is preserve! Good-night, young
-man; good-night, monsieur.”
-
-And off he marched as briskly as ever.
-
-Halfred shook his head darkly.
-
-“Him being a friend of yours, sir, I says nothing,” he observed, but his
-abstinence from further comment was more eloquent than even his candid
-opinion would have been.
-
-I posted my letter, I smoked, I read a book to pass the time, and at
-last, as the afternoon was wearing on, I went to my bedroom and packed
-a bag containing a change of clothes and other essentials, for I
-remembered that I should have to drive straight from the dinner-table
-to the train. I looked out into the street; dusk was falling, the lamps
-were lit, the lights of a carriage and the rattle of horses passed
-now and then, the steady hum of London reached my ears. It was still
-cheerful and inviting, but now my nerves were tighter strung and I felt
-rather excitement than depression.
-
-“Monsieur! You in there?”
-
-The voice came from my sitting-room. I started, I rushed towards the
-welcome sound, and the next moment I was embracing Dick Shafthead. He
-looked so uncomfortable at this un-English salutation that I had to
-begin with an apology.
-
-“Never before and never again, I assure you!” I said. “For the instant
-I forgot myself; that is the truth. Tell me, what good angel has sent
-you?”
-
-For I knew his sister could not yet have received my letter.
-
-“We were afraid you'd got into the hands of the police again, and I've
-come prepared to bail you out. What the deuce happened to you?”
-
-“You heard the circumstances of my departure?”
-
-“We heard a cock-and-bull story from a thickheaded yokel--something
-about a pistol and a villain with a mustache and a carriage and pair;
-but as we learned that you'd appeared at the station safe and sound, we
-divided the yarn by five. I must say, though, I've been getting a little
-worried at hearing no news of you--that's to say, the women folk got in
-a flutter.”
-
-“Did they?” I cried, with a pleasant excitement I could not quite
-conceal.
-
-“Naturally, we are not accustomed to have our guests vanish like an
-Indian juggler. I've come to see what's up.”
-
-I told him then the whole story, letting the Marquis's prohibition go to
-the winds. He listened in amused astonishment.
-
-“Well,” he said, at last, “it seems I've just come in time for the fair.
-You've napkins enough to feed another conspirator, I suppose?”
-
-“You are the one man I want!”
-
-“That's all right, then,” said Dick. “I'd better be off to my rooms to
-dress. Where shall we meet?”
-
-“I will call for you soon after half-past seven. The house is not far
-from the Temple, I believe.” So now, thanks to Providence, I would have
-both my best friends by my side. My spirits rose high, and I began to
-look forward gayly even to urging a bishop to start by a night train
-with a repeating-rifle.
-
-Soon after seven Teddy appeared, immaculate and garrulous as ever, and
-in high spirits at the thought of the shock his reverend father would
-get on finding him included among the select party.
-
-“The governor's looking forward to having a great night of it,” said
-this irreverend son. “Scratching his head when I last saw him, trying to
-remember the stories he generally tells to dooks and royalties. I told
-him he'd better get up a few spicy ones to tickle a Frenchie, don't you
-know.”
-
-[Illustration: 0352]
-
-“My faith!” I exclaimed; “how disappointed they will all be! I scarcely
-have the face to meet them.”
-
-“Rot,” said Teddy. “Do 'em good. Hullo! what's this bag for? Oh, I see,
-you cross to-night, don't you? Is Halfred going with you?”
-
-I also looked at my servant in surprise. He was dressed in his overcoat,
-and stood holding my bag in one hand and his hat in the other.
-
-“Going to take your bag down for you, sir,” he explained.
-
-“But I do not need you, my good Halfred. I was just going to say
-farewell to you this moment.”
-
-“I'm a-coming,” he persisted.
-
-“Even against my wishes?”
-
-“Beg pardon, sir, but that there furriner, 'e' s in this show, ain't
-he?”
-
-“Why should you think so?”
-
-“I smells a rat, sir, as soon as I sees 'im. I don't mean no offence,
-but you don't know Hengland as well as I do. I'll come along, sir,
-and if you happens to be thinking of a trip across the channel, I was
-thinking, sir, a change of hair wouldn't do me no 'arm.”
-
-“But I cannot allow you! There is danger!”
-
-“Just as I thought, sir; but I'm ready for 'em.”
-
-And, laying down the bag, he showed me the butt of an immense pistol in
-his overcoat-pocket.
-
-“Halfred,” I cried, “you may not glitter, but you are of gold! Come,
-then, my brave fellow, if you will!”
-
-“Good sportsman, isn't he?” said Teddy, as we drove off together.
-
-At a quarter to eight we three, Teddy and Dick and I, alighted at number
-Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand, to find Halfred and the bag awaiting
-us outside the door. A waiter with a mysterious air showed us up a
-narrow staircase into a small, well-furnished reception-room. Beyond
-this, through folding-doors, opened a dining-room of moderate size,
-where we found the table laid and ready. The man closed the door and
-disappeared, and the four of us were left to await the arrival of my
-guests.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXXIII
-
-
-“_The time has come, the very hour has struck when deeds most
-unforgettable are due._”
-
---Ben Verulam.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9355]
-
-UARTER-PAST eight, and no sign of a guest!” I exclaimed.
-
-“You are sure you asked 'em for eight and not eight-thirty?” said Dick.
-
-“Positive; it was on the card. I noticed particularly.”
-
-“Perhaps they've gone to your rooms,” suggested Teddy.
-
-“Scarcely. Some of them do not know my address, and this house was also
-engraved upon the card.”
-
-We were sitting round the anteroom fire while Halfred waited in the
-dining-room.
-
-“Beg pardon, sir,” he observed, putting his head through the door-way.
-“But perhaps they've smelled a rat, like as I do.”
-
-Another quarter of an hour passed, and then we heard the sound of heavy
-footsteps on the stairs; it sounded like several people. Then came a
-knock. I opened the door and saw the waiter who had shown me in, and
-behind him a number of as disreputable-looking fellows as I have ever
-met.
-
-[Illustration: 0356]
-
-“Your visitors, sir,” said the waiter, in his mysterious voice, though
-with an evident air of surprise, and, I think, of disgust.
-
-“Mine?”
-
-“Yes, sir; Mr. Horleens, they wants.”
-
-“But I am not Mr. Horleens. There is some mistake here.”
-
-I addressed a few questions to one of the men, but he was so abashed at
-the well-dressed appearance of myself and my two guests that, muttering
-something about “being made a blooming fool of,” the whole party turned
-and descended again.
-
-“It was the right word, sir,” said the waiter to me. “Some of 'em was to
-ask for Mr. Horleens.”
-
-“What do you make of that?” I exclaimed, when they had all gone.
-
-“They've mistaken the house, o' course,” said Teddy.
-
-“Horleens, Horleens,” repeated Dick, thought-fully. “I have it! They
-meant Orleans. They must be some of your gay sportsmen.”
-
-“Of course!” I cried. “That must have been the password. Well, no doubt
-they have found the proper door by this time. But I fear, gentlemen,
-that we are to have this dinner all to ourselves.”
-
-“Let's eat it anyhow,” said Dick. “I've a twist like a pig's tail.”
-
-This sentiment being heartily applauded by Teddy, I rang for the waiter,
-and we sat down to as excellent a dinner as you could wish to taste.
-Certainly, whatever miscalculations the Marquis had made, this part of
-his programme was successfully arranged and enthusiastically carried
-through. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we jested; you would have thought
-that the night had nothing more serious in store for any of us. Halfred,
-who helped to wait upon us, nearly dropped the dishes more than once
-in his efforts to control his mirth at some exuberant sally. It was not
-possible to have devised a merrier evening for my last.
-
-“Here's to your guests for not turning up!” cried Teddy. “They'd only
-have spoiled the fun.”
-
-“And the average of bottles per man,” added Dick.
-
-“Yes. Thank God I am not making an inflammatory speech to Sir Henry
-Horley and the Bishop of Battersea!” I said. “But, my dear friends”--and
-here I pulled out my watch--“I fear I shall have to make a little speech
-as it is, a farewell oration to you. It is now half-past ten. I leave
-you in a few minutes.”
-
-“The devil you do,” said Dick. “Teddy, the monsieur proposes to dismiss
-us. What shall we do?”
-
-“The monsieur be blanked!” cried Teddy, using a most unnecessarily
-strong expression. “O' course we're coming, too.”
-
-“But I shall not permit--”
-
-“Silence!” said Dick. “Messieurs, let us put on our coats! Halfred, load
-that pistol of yours; the expedition is starting.”
-
-No use in protesting. These two faithful comrades hilariously cried down
-all resistance, and the four of us set off for the station.
-
-In a remote, half-lit corner of that huge, draughty building, we found
-the special train standing; an engine, two carriages, and the great
-colored van already mounted upon a truck. The Marquis met me with a
-surprised and disappointed look.
-
-“Is this all the aid you bring?” he asked.
-
-“All!” I exclaimed. “I do not know what mistake you have made, but my
-guests never appeared.”
-
-“Is that the truth?”
-
-“M. le Marquis!”
-
-“Pardon. I see; there must have been some error. Well, it cannot be
-helped now. I, at least, have been more successful; I have got my men.
-Who are these two?”
-
-I introduced my two friends, and we walked down the platform. As we
-passed the furniture van I started to hear noises proceeding from
-inside.
-
-“Do not be alarmed,” said the Marquis. “I have explained that I am
-conveying a menagerie.”
-
-We stopped before a first-class compartment. He opened the door and
-invited us to enter.
-
-“Do not think me impolite if I myself travel in another carriage,” he
-said to me. “I have a companion.”
-
-“M. Hankey?”
-
-“He also is here,” he replied, I thought evasively.
-
-Just before we started, Halfred put his head through our window and
-said, with a mysterious grin:
-
-“The furriner's got a lady with him!”
-
-[Illustration: 0360]
-
-But he had to run to his own carriage before he had time to add more.
-The next moment the engine whistled and the expedition had started.
-
-“I don't quite know what the penalty is for this sort of thing,” said
-Dick, as we clanked out over the dark Thames and the constellations of
-the Embankment. “Hard labor if we're caught on this side of the channel,
-and hanging on the other, I suppose; so cheer up, Teddy!”
-
-At this quite unnecessary exhortation, Teddy forthwith burst into song.
-You would have thought that these two young men, travelling in their
-evening clothes and laughing gayly, were bound for some ball or
-carnival. Yet they knew quite well they were running a very serious risk
-for a cause they had no interest in whatever, and that seemed only to
-increase their good-humor.
-
-“What soldiers they would make!” I said to myself.
-
-But in the course of an hour or two our talk and laughter ceased, not
-that our courage oozed away, but for the prosaic reason that we were
-all becoming desperately sleepy. How long we took to make that journey I
-cannot say. The lines seemed to be consecrated to goods traffic at that
-hour of the night and our train moved by fits and starts, now running
-for half an hour, then stopping for it seemed twice as long. At last I
-awoke from a doze to find the train apparently entering a station, and
-at the same instant Dick started up.
-
-“We must be nearly there,” I said.
-
-“My dear fellow,” he replied, seriously. “Are you really going on with
-this mad adventure?”
-
-“I have no choice; but you--”
-
-“Oh, I'm coming with you if you persist. But think twice before it's too
-late.”
-
-“Hey!” cried Teddy, starting from his slumbers. “Where are we?”
-
-Dick and I looked at each other, and, seeing that we were resolute, he
-smiled and then yawned, while I let down the window and looked out.
-
-Yes, we were entering a station, and in a minute or two more our journey
-was at an end.
-
-“There will be a little delay while we get the van off the train and the
-horses harnessed,” said the Marquis, coming up to me. “In the mean time
-there is some one to whom I wish to present you.”
-
-He led me to his carriage and there I saw a veiled lady sitting. Even
-with her veil down I started, and when she raised it I became for the
-instant petrified with utter astonishment. It was Kate Kerry!
-
-“I believe you have met this lady,” said the Marquis, in his stateliest
-manner, “but not previously as my wife.”
-
-“Your wife!” I exclaimed. “I have, then, the honor of addressing the
-Marchioness de la Carrabasse?”
-
-“You have,” said Kate, with a smile and a flash of those dark eyes that
-had once thrilled me so.
-
-“We were married yesterday morning,” said the Marquis. “That was the
-business I was engaged upon. And now for the moment I leave you; the
-general must attend to his command!”
-
-I entered the carriage, and there, from her own lips, I heard the story
-of this extraordinary romance. The Marquis, she told me, had obtained
-an introduction to her (I did not ask too closely how, but, knowing his
-impetuous methods, I guessed what this phrase meant); this had been
-just after the end of the mission, and his object at first was to obtain
-information about me from one whom (I also guessed) he regarded as
-probably my mistress; but in a very short time from playing the detective
-he had become the lover; his suit was pressed with irresistible vigor,
-and now I beheld the result.
-
-“May I ask a delicate question?” I said. “Yes,” she replied, with all
-her old haughty assurance.
-
-“What was it that moved your heart, that so suddenly made you love the
-Marquis?”
-
-“He attracted my sympathy.”
-
-“Your sympathy only?”
-
-“And my admiration. He is serving a noble cause.”
-
-Truly, my friend had infected his wife with his own enthusiasm in the
-most remarkable way. “Does your uncle know?”
-
-“No.”
-
-“He might not approve of my friend.”
-
-“My husband is a marquis,” she replied, with an air of pride and
-satisfaction that seemed to me to throw more than a little light on the
-complex motives of this young lady.
-
-“And now you propose to accompany him on this dangerous adventure?”
-
-“Certainly I do! Where else should I be?”
-
-“He is fortunate, indeed,” I said, politely.
-
-Now I understand how my friend F. II had obtained all his information
-regarding my movements and my friends and my different escapades, for in
-the day's of Plato I had talked most frankly with his fair Marchioness.
-In fact, I perceived clearly several things that had been obscure
-before.
-
-But our talk was soon interrupted by the return of the happy husband.
-
-“All is ready! Come!” he said.
-
-Undoubtedly, with his eyes burning with the excitement of action, his
-effective gestures and distinguished air, his dramatic speech, not to
-speak of that little title of marquis, I could well fancy his charming a
-girl who delighted in the unusual, and was ready, as her uncle said, to
-fill in the picture from her own imagination.
-
-“And so my dethroned divinity is the Marchioness de la Carrabasse!” I
-said to myself. “Mon Dieu! I shall be curious to see the offspring of
-this remarkable union!”
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXXIV
-
-
-“_Et Balbus bellum horridum fecit._”
-
---CONVULSIUS.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9365]
-
-HE Marquis led us from the station into a road, where we found the van
-already under way and two carriages awaiting us. In one Dick and Teddy
-were already installed; the Marquis and Kate entered the other. I
-joined my friends, and Halfred sprang upon the box; and off we set for
-a destination which our leader, after his habit, kept till the last a
-profound secret. So far as I could see, our force consisted of the
-party I have named, the men in the van, and the three drivers. Hankey, I
-presumed, must be one of the last. Where we were to find a ship, and how
-soon we were to find our French allies, I had no notion at all.
-
-That drive seemed as interminable as the railway journey, and certainly
-it was far more uncomfortable. We were all three too sleepy to talk
-much, but, to my constant wonder and delight, I found my two companions
-as ready as ever to go ahead and take their chance of what might befall
-them.
-
-“I say,” said Teddy, in a drowsy tone, “do you think there's any chance
-of getting a bath before we begin?”
-
-“The despised sandwich would come in handy, too,” added Dick. “I say,
-monsieur, why didn't you bring a flask?”
-
-“I did,” I replied, “and here it is.”
-
-“He is another Napoleon,” said Dick. “Nothing is forgotten.”
-
-Meantime the day began to break, and, though the sun had not yet risen,
-it was quite light when we felt our carriage stop.
-
-“Alight!” said the voice of the Marquis. “We have arrived!”
-
-We were in a side track that ran through the fields of a sheltered
-valley; on one side a grove of trees concealed us; on the other, through
-the end of the valley and only at a little distance off, I saw something
-that roused me with a thrill of excitement. It was the open, gray sea,
-with a small steamboat lying close inshore.
-
-“Peste!” cried the Marquis, taking me aside. “Hankey is not here!”
-
-“Not with us?”
-
-“No; he must have been left at the station. It is a nuisance!”
-
-“It seems to me worse than that.”
-
-“Yes, for we cannot wait; we must leave him behind. It is a great
-loss. And now, my brave comrade, the drama commences--the drama of the
-restoration! You will open the van, and as the men come out I shall
-address them.”
-
-“In English?” I asked.
-
-“Yes; I have prepared and learned by heart an oration. It will not be
-long, but it will be moving. Ah, you will see that I can be eloquent!”
-
-With his wife at his side, and the drivers a few paces behind him, he
-drew himself up and threw out his chest, while I unlocked the door of
-the van.
-
-Throwing it open I stepped back, curious to see the desperadoes he had
-collected, and wondering how they would regard the business, while the
-Marquis cleared his throat.
-
-A moment's expectant pause, and then--conceive my sensations--out
-stepped, first, the burly form of Sir Henry Horley, then the upright
-figure of General Sholto, next the benevolent countenance of the Bishop
-of Battersea, and after him the remainder of my invited guests. The
-Marquis had kidnapped the wrong men!
-
-“What the devil!” began Sir Henry, glancing round him to see in what
-country and company he found himself; but before there was time for
-a word of explanation, the Marquis had launched upon his passionate
-appeal. As the original manuscript afterwards came into my possession,
-I am able to give the exact words of this remarkable oration.
-
-“Brave, gallant men,” he cried; “you have come to share adventures
-stupendous, miraculous, which you will enjoy! I lead you, my good
-Britannic sportsmen, whither or why obviously can be seen, to establish
-the anointed and legal King in his right country! To die successfully
-is glorious! But you will not; you will live forever conquering, and
-gratefully recollected in France!
-
-“You” [here he waved his hand towards the astonished baronet] “will
-enjoy drink of all beers and spirits that an English proverbially adores
-ever after and always! Also you” [here he indicated the dumfounded
-bishop] “will enjoy women, the most lively and sporting in the
-wide world, always and ever after! Also you” [pointing towards the
-substantial form of Mr. Alderman Guffin] “shall bask and revel in the
-land of song, of music, of light fantastic toes, amid all which once and
-more having been never stopping again bravo and hip, hip, my sportsmen!
-Once, twice, thrice, follow me to victor!”
-
-He stopped and looked eagerly for the fruits of this appeal, and his
-Britannic sportsmen returned his gaze with interest. I am free to
-confess that long before this my two companions and I had shrunk from
-publicity behind the door of the van, awaiting a more fitting moment to
-greet our friends.
-
-“Is this a dashed asylum, or a dashed nightmare?” demanded Sir Henry.
-
-Not quite comprehending this, but seeing that these recruits displayed
-no great alacrity, the Marquis again raised his voice and cried:
-
-“Are you afraid, brave garçons?”
-
-But now an unexpected light was thrown on their captors.
-
-“Kate!” exclaimed General Sholto in a bewildered voice.
-
-That the unfortunate General should have his domestic drama played in
-public was more than I could bear. I stepped forward, and I may honestly
-say that I effectually distracted attention. It was not a pleasant
-process, even when assisted by the explanations of Teddy to his father
-and the loyal assurances of Dick; but it at least cleared the air.
-As for the unfortunate Marquis, his chagrin was so evident that,
-diabolically unpleasant as he had made my own position, I could not but
-feel sorry for him.
-
-“And so,” he said to me, sadly, “Heaven has been unkind to me again. I
-acted for the best, my dear d'Haricot, believe me! But I fear I do not
-excel so much in carrying out details as in conceiving plans. I see, it
-was my fault! I allowed these gentlemen to enter that house by the wrong
-door. Well, if they will not follow us--and I fear they are reluctant,
-though I do not understand all they say--we three must go alone!”
-
-“Three?” I asked.
-
-“My wife and you and I. Say farewell to your friends and come! The
-vessel awaits us and our forces in France will at all events be ready.”
-
-But Heaven was to prove still more unkind to our unfortunate leader.
-
-“Who are these?” I exclaimed.
-
-“The English police!” he cried. “We are betrayed!”
-
-And indeed we were. A force of mounted policemen swept round the corner
-of the wood and trotted up to us, and in the midst of them we recognized
-the double-faced Hankey.
-
-“What do you want, gentlemen?” asked the Marquis, calmly, though his
-eyes flashed dangerously at the traitor.
-
-“We come in the Queen's name!” replied the officer in command. “Are you
-the Marquis de la Carrabasse?”
-
-I am.
-
-“I have a warrant, then, for your arrest.”
-
-But now, for the first time, fortune turned in the Marquis's favor,
-though I fear it seemed to that zealous patriot a poor crumb of
-consolation that she threw.
-
-Instead of finding, as our betrayer had calculated, a crew of
-suspicious-looking adventurers, he beheld a small party of middle-aged
-gentlemen attired in evening clothes and anxious only to find their way
-home again; and, to add to our good luck, when they came to look for our
-case of arms and ammunition it appeared that the Marquis had forgotten
-to bring it. Also, these same elderly gentlemen showed a very marked
-disinclination to have their share in the adventure appear in the
-morning papers, even in the capacity of witnesses.
-
-And, finally, as the French government had been informed of our plans
-for some weeks past, so that we were absolutely powerless for mischief,
-the police decided to overlook my share altogether and make a merely
-formal matter of my friend's arrest.
-
-“What will my King say?” cried the poor Marquis. “Oh, d'Haricot, I am
-disgraced, and my honor is lost! Tell me not that I am unfortunate; for
-what difference does that make? Such misfortunes must not be survived!
-Adieu, my friend! Pardon my suspicions!”
-
-Before I could prevent him, the unfortunate man quickly thrust his hand
-into his pistol-pocket, and in that same instant would have blown out
-those ingenious, unpractical brains. But, with a fresh look of despair,
-he stopped, petrified, his hand still in his pocket.
-
-“My revolver also is forgotten!” he exclaimed. “I am neither capable of
-living nor of dying!”
-
-“Thank Heaven who mislaid that pistol,” I replied. “Had you forgotten
-your bride, too?”
-
-“Mon Dieu! I had! I thank you for reminding me. Ah, yes, I have some
-consolation in life left, me!”
-
-But though the Marchioness no doubt consoled him later, she was at that
-moment in anything but a sympathetic mood.
-
-“Well, my dear,” I overheard the General saying to her, “as you make
-your bed so you must lie in it. This--er--Marquis, doesn't he call
-himself?--of yours hasn't started very brilliantly, but, I dare say, by
-the time he has been before the magistrate and cooled down, and had a
-shave and so forth, he will do better. I shouldn't let him mix himself
-up in any more of these plots of his, though, if I were you.”
-
-She tossed her head, and the defiant flash of her eyes told her uncle
-plainly to mind his own business; but I fear his words had stung her
-more than he intended, for when her husband said to her, dramatically,
-“My love, we have failed!” she merely replied, with a sarcastic air,
-“Naturaly; what else could you have expected?”
-
-She beamed upon me with contrasting kindness, lingered to say farewell
-to the admiring Teddy, who had just been presented to her, went by her
-uncle with a disdainful glance, and then the happy couple passed out of
-this story.
-
-“A devilish fine woman!” said Teddy.
-
-“Others have made the same reflection,” I replied.
-
-“And now, monsieur,” said Dick, “I think it's about time we were getting
-back to London, bath, and breakfast.”
-
-“Carriage is ready, sir,” said the voice of Halfred.
-
-“Whose carriage?”
-
-“Carriage as we came down in, sir. I've give the driver the tip, and
-he's waiting behind them trees.”
-
-“But what about all these unfortunate gentlemen?”
-
-“Thought as 'ow they might prefer travelling in the van they comed
-in,” he replied, with a semblance of great gravity.
-
-But I had not the hardihood to do this, and concerning my journey to
-town with my dinnerless, sleepless, and breakfastless guests, I should
-rather say as little as possible.
-
-I confess I envied the Marquis accompanying his escort of constables.
-
-[Illustration: 8000]
-
-
-
-
-Chapter XXXV
-
-
-“_Adieu! I never wait till my friends have yawned twice_.”
-
---Hercule d'Enville.
-
-
-[Illustration: 9374]
-
-ELL, I am back in London after all, amid the murmur of millions of
-English voices, the rumble of millions of wheels, the painted omnibus,
-and the providential policeman--all the things to which I bade a long
-farewell last night. And my reader, if indeed he has kept me company so
-far, now fidgets a little for fear I am about to mix myself in further
-complications and pour more follies into the surfeited ear. But no! I
-have rambled and confessed enough, and in a few more pages I, like the
-Indian juggler Dick compared me to, shall throw a rope into the sky,
-and, climbing up it, disappear--into heaven? Again no! It may be a
-surprise to many, but it was not there that these memoirs were written.
-
-To round up and finish off a narrative that has no plot, no moral, and
-only the most ridiculous hero, is not so easy as I thought it was going
-to be. Probably the best plan will be not to say too much about this
-hero and just a little about his friends.
-
-As I had given up and dismantled my rooms, Dick insisted that I must
-return to Helmscote with him that same day and finish my Christmas
-visit, and need it be said that I accepted this invitation?
-
-At the station, upon our arrival in London, I parted with Teddy Lumme
-and General Sholto.
-
-“By-bye,” said Teddy, cheerfully; “I must trot along and look after the
-governor; he's in a terrible stew; I don't suppose he has missed two
-meals running before in his life--poor old beggar! It'll do him good,
-though; don't you worry, old chap.”
-
-And with a friendly wave of his hand this filial son drove off with the
-still muttering Bishop.
-
-The General wrung my hand, hoped he would see me again soon, and then,
-without more words, left us. He was not so cheerful, for that final
-escapade of his niece had hurt him more than he would allow. Still, it
-was a fine red neck and a very erect back that I last saw marching down
-the platform.
-
-“And now, my good Halfred,” I said, “I suppose you fly to Miss Titch and
-happiness? Lucky fellow!”
-
-“I 'aven't been dismissed yet, sir,” he replied, solemnly, and with no
-answering smile, “but if you gives me the sack, o' course I'll 'ave to
-go.”
-
-“Then you think I need your watchful eye on me a little longer?”
-
-From the expression of that watchful eye it was evident that he was very
-far from disposed to let me take my chance of escaping the consequences
-of my errors without his assistance. Indeed, to this day he firmly holds
-the opinion that it was his vigilance alone that insured so harmless an
-end to our desperate expedition, and that if he had not stood by me I
-should have conspired again within a week.
-
-“I puts hit to Mr. Shafthead,” he replied, casting a glance at my
-friend which might be compared to a warning in cipher addressed to some
-potentate by an allied sovereign.
-
-“You certainly had better come down with us, Halfred,” said Dick. “The
-Lord only knows what the monsieur would be up to without you.”
-
-And accordingly Halfred went with us to Helmscote.
-
-Behold me now once more beneath the ancient, hospitable roof, the kind
-hostess smiling graciously, the genial baronet roaring with unrestrained
-mirth at the tale of our adventures--and Daisy? She was not looking
-directly at me; but her face was smiling, with pleasure a little, I
-thought, as well as amusement. At night the same welcoming chamber and a
-fire as bright as before; only this time no missives thrown through the
-casement window. Next morning I am severely left alone; Dick has been
-summoned by his father. Half an hour passes, and then, with an air of
-triumph, he returns.
-
-“You'll have to look after yourself to-day, monsieur,” he says. “I'm off
-to town to bring her back with me.”
-
-“Her!” So the stern parent has relented, and some day in the distant
-future, I suppose, Agnes Grey will be Lady Shafthead and rule this
-house. What Dick added regarding my own share in this issue I need not
-repeat, though I confess it will always be a satisfaction for me to
-think of one headlong performance, unguided even by Halfred, which
-resulted so prosperously.
-
-Being thus bereft of Dick, what more natural than that I should be
-entertained by his sister?
-
-She speaks of Dick's happiness with a bright gleam in her eye.
-
-“He should feel very grateful to you,” she says.
-
-I should have preferred “we” to “he,” but, unluckily, I have no choice
-in the matter.
-
-“I envy him,” I reply, with meaning in my voice.
-
-Her face is composed and as demure as ever, only her color seems to
-me to be a little higher and her eye certainly does not meet mine as
-frankly as usual.
-
-Suddenly I am emboldened to exclaim:
-
-“I do not mean that I envy him Miss Grey, but his happiness in being
-loved!”
-
-And then I tell her whose love I myself covet.
-
-She is embarrassed, she is kind, she is not offended, but her look
-checks me.
-
-“How often have you felt like this within the last few months--towards
-some one or other?” she asks.
-
-Alas! How dangerous a thing to let the brother of the adored one know
-too much! Dick meant no harm; he never knew how his tales would affect
-me; but evidently he has jested at home about my amours, and now I am
-regarded by his sister either as a Don Juan or a perpetually love-sick
-sentimentalist. And the worst of it is that there are some superficial
-grounds for either theory.
-
-“Ah,” I cry, “you have heard then of my wanderings in search of the
-ideal? But I have only just found it!”
-
-“How can you be sure of that?” she asks, a little smile appearing in
-her eye like a sudden break in a misty sky. “You haven't known me long
-enough to say. In a month you may make a jest of me.”
-
-“I am serious at last. I swear it!”
-
-“I am afraid you will have to remain serious for some time to make me
-believe it,” she replies, the smile still lingering. “When any one has
-treated women, and everything else, flippantly so long as you, I--”
-
-She hesitated.
-
-“You do not trust them?”
-
-“No,” she confesses.
-
-“If I am serious for six months will you trust me then?”
-
-“Perhaps,” she allows at last.
-
-It means a good deal, does that word, said in such circumstances, but
-I am not going to drag you through the experiences of a faithful lover,
-sustained by a “perhaps.” _Mon Dieu!_ You have the privations of Dr.
-Nansen on his travels to read if that is the literature you admire.
-
-No; in the words of Halfred on the eve of his nuptials with Aramatilda,
-“I ain't what you'd call solemn nat'rally but this here matrimonial
-business do make a man stop talkin' as free as he'd wish.”
-
-I also shall stop talking, and, with the blotting-pad already in my
-hand, pray Heaven to grant my readers an indulgent and a not too solemn
-spirit.
-
-[Illustration: 0379]
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
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-J. Storer Clouston
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-  <head>
-    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html;charset=UTF-8" />
-    <title>
-      The Adventures of M. D'haricot, by J. Storer Clouston
-    </title>
-    <link rel="coverpage" href="images/cover.jpg" />
-    <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve">
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-Project Gutenberg's The Adventures of M. D'Haricot, by J. Storer Clouston
-
-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most
-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions
-whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of
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-www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have
-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.
-
-
-
-Title: The Adventures of M. D'Haricot
-
-Author: J. Storer Clouston
-
-Illustrator: Albert Levering
-
-Release Date: October 21, 2015 [EBook #50273]
-Last Updated: March 15, 2018
-
-Language: English
-
-Character set encoding: UTF-8
-
-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT ***
-
-
-
-
-Produced by David Widger from page images generously
-provided by the Internet Archive
-
-
-
-
-
-
-</pre>
-
-    <div style="height: 8em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h1>
-      THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT
-    </h1>
-    <h2>
-      By J. Storer Clouston
-    </h2>
-    <h3>
-      Illustrated By Albert Levering
-    </h3>
-    <h4>
-      Harper And Brothers
-    </h4>
-    <h4>
-      New York
-    </h4>
-    <h3>
-      1902
-    </h3>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0001.jpg" alt="0001m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0001.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0008.jpg" alt="0008m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0008.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0010.jpg" alt="0010m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0010.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <b>CONTENTS</b>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0001"> Chapter I </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0002"> Chapter II </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0003"> Chapter III </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0004"> Chapter IV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0005"> Chapter V </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0006"> Chapter VI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0007"> Chapter VII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0008"> Chapter VIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0009"> Chapter IX </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0010"> Chapter X </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0011"> Chapter XI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0012"> Chapter XII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0013"> Chapter XIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0014"> Chapter XIV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0015"> Chapter XV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0016"> Chapter XVI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0017"> Chapter XVII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0018"> Chapter XVIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0019"> Chapter XIX </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0020"> Chapter XX </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0021"> Chapter XXI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0022"> Chapter XXII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0023"> Chapter XXIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0024"> Chapter XXIV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0025"> Chapter XXV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0026"> Chapter XXVI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0027"> Chapter XXVII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0028"> Chapter XXVIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0029"> Chapter XXIX </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0030"> Chapter XXX </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0031"> Chapter XXXI </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0032"> Chapter XXXII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0033"> Chapter XXXIII </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0034"> Chapter XXXIV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p class="toc">
-      <a href="#link2HCH0035"> Chapter XXXV </a>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter I
-    </h2>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      &ldquo;Adieu, the land of my birth!
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      Henceforth strange faces!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Boulevarde
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9014.jpg" alt="9014 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9014.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      N my window-sill lies a faded rose, a rose plucked from an English lane.
-      As I write, my eyes fall upon the gardens, the forests, around my
-      ancestral chateau, but the faint scent is an English perfume. To the land
-      of that rose, the land that sheltered, befriended, amused me, I dedicate
-      these memoirs of my sojourn there.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      They are a record of incidents and impressions that sometimes have little
-      connection one with another beyond the possession of one character in
-      common-myself. I am that individual who with unsteady feet will tread the
-      tight-rope, dance among the eggs, leap through the paper tambourine&mdash;in
-      a word, play clown and hero to the melody of the castanets. I hold out my
-      hat that you may drop in a sou should you chance to be amused. To the
-      serious I herewith bid adieu, for instruction, I fear, will be
-      conspicuously absent, unless, indeed, my follies serve as a warning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And now without further prologue I raise the curtain.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The first scene is a railway carriage swiftly travelling farther and
-      farther from the sea that washes the dear shores of France. Look out of
-      the window and behold the green fields, the heavy hedge-rows enclosing
-      them so tightly, the trees, not in woods, but scattered everywhere as by a
-      restless forester, the brick farms, the hop-fields, the moist, vaporous
-      atmosphere of England.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Cast your eyes within and you will see, wrapped in an ulster of a British
-      pattern concealing all that is not British in his appearance, an exile
-      from his native land. Not to make a mystery of this individual, you will
-      see, indeed, myself. And I&mdash;why did I travel thus enshrouded, why did
-      my eye look with melancholy upon this fertile landscape, why did I sit sad
-      and sombre as I travelled through this strange land? There were many
-      things fresh and novel to stir the mind of an adventurer. The name, the
-      platform, the look of every station we sped past, was a little piece of
-      England, curious in its way. Many memories of the people and the places I
-      had known in fiction should surely have been aroused and lit my heart with
-      some enthusiasm. What reason, then, for sadness?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I shall tell you, since the affair is now no secret, and as it hereafter
-      touches my narrative. I was a Royalist, an adherent of the rightful king
-      of France.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0006" id="linkimage-0006"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8016.jpg" alt="8016 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8016.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      I am still; I boast it openly. But at that time a demonstration had been
-      premature, a government was alarmed, and I had fled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Hereafter I shall tell you more of the secret and formidable society of
-      which I was then a young, enthusiastic member&mdash;the Une, Deux, Trois
-      League, or U. D. T's, as we styled ourselves in brief, the forlorn hope of
-      royalty in France. At present it is sufficient to say that we had failed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Baffled hopes, doubt as to the future, fear for the present, were my
-      companions; and they are not gay, these friends.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I felt&mdash;I confess it now mirthfully enough&mdash;suspicious of the
-      porter of the train, of the guard, of the people who eyed me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I was young, and &ldquo;political offender&rdquo; had a terrible sound. The Bastile,
-      Siberia, St. Helena; were not these places built, created, discovered, for
-      the sole purpose of returning white-haired, enfeebled unfortunates to
-      their native land, only to find their homes dissolved, their families
-      deceased, themselves forgotten? The truth is that I was already in
-      mourning for myself. The prospect of entering history by the martyr's
-      postern had seemed noble in the heat of action and the excitement of
-      intrigue. Now I only desired my liberty and as little public attention as
-      possible. I commend this personal experience to all conspirators.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Such a frame of mind begets suspicions fast, and when I found myself in
-      the same compartment with a young man who had already glanced at me in the
-      Gare du Nord, and taken a longer look on board the steamboat, I felt, I
-      admit, decidedly uncomfortable. From beneath the shade of my
-      travelling-cap I eyed him for the first half-hour with a deep distrust.
-      Yet since he regarded me with that total lack of interest an Englishman
-      bestows upon the unintroduced, and had, besides, an appearance of honesty
-      written on his countenance, I began to feel somewhat ashamed of my
-      suspicions, until at last I even came to consider him with interest as one
-      type of that strange people among whom for a longer or a shorter time I
-      was doomed to dwell, He differed, it is true, both from the busts of
-      Shakespeare and the statues of Wellington, yet he was far from unpleasing.
-      An athletic form, good features, a steady, blue eye, a complexion rosy as
-      a girl's, fair hair brushed flat across his forehead, thirty years of
-      truth-telling, cricket-playing, and the practice of three or four
-      elementary ethical principles, not to mention an excellent tailor, all
-      went to make this young man a refreshing and an encouraging spectacle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Bah!&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;My friend may not be the poet-laureate or the
-      philanthropic M. Carnegie, but at least he is no spy.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      By nature I am neither bashful nor immoderately timid, and it struck me
-      that some talk with a native might be of service. My spirits, too, were
-      rising fast. The train had not yet been stopped and searched; we were
-      nearing the great London, where he who seeks concealment is as one pin in
-      a trayful; the hour was early in the day, and the sun breaking out made
-      the wet grass glisten.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, it was hard to remain silent on that glorious September morning, even
-      though dark thoughts sat upon the same cushion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Monsieur,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;the sun is bright.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With this remark he seemed to show his agreement by a slight smile and a
-      murmured phrase. The smile was pleasant, and I felt encouraged to
-      continue.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yet it does not always follow that the heart is gay. Indeed, monsieur,
-      how often we see tears on a June morning, and hear laughter in March! It
-      must have struck you often, this want of harmony in the world. Has it
-      not?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I had been so carried away my thoughts that I had failed to observe the
-      lack of sympathy in my fellow-traveller's countenance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly,&rdquo; he remarked, dryly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I said, with a smile, &ldquo;you do not appreciate. You are English.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0019.jpg" alt="0019m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0019.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;And you are French, I suppose?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At his words, suspicion woke in my heart. It was only as a Frenchman that
-      I ran the risk of arrest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No; I am an American.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This was my first attempt to disclaim my nationality, and each time I
-      denied my country I, like St. Peter, suffered for it. Fair France, your
-      lovers should be true! That is the lesson.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Indeed,&rdquo; was all he said; but I now began to enjoy my first experience of
-      that disconcerting phenomenon, the English stare. Later on I discovered
-      that this generally means nothing, and is, in fact, merely an inherited
-      relic of the days when each Englishman carried his &ldquo;knuckle-duster&rdquo; (a
-      weapon used in boxing), and struck the instant his neighbor's attention
-      was diverted. It is thanks to this peculiarity that they now find
-      themselves in possession of so large a portion of the globe, but the
-      surviving stare is not a reassuring spectacle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet I must not let him see that I was in the slightest inconvenienced by
-      his attitude. The antidote to suspicion is candor. I was candid.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I am told that I do not resemble an American, but my name,
-      at least, is good Anglo-Saxon.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And I handed him a card prepared for such an emergency. On it I had
-      written, &ldquo;Nelson Bunyan, Esq.&rdquo; If that sounded French, then I had studied
-      philology in vain.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am a traveller in search of curios,&rdquo; I added. &ldquo;And you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; he replied, with a trace of a smile and a humorous look in his
-      blue eyes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He was quite friendly, perfectly polite, but that was all the information
-      about himself I could extract&mdash;&ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; followed by a commonplace
-      concerning the weather. A singular type! Repressed, self-restrained,
-      reticent, good-humoredly condescending&mdash;in a word, British.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We talked of various matters, and I did my best to pick him, like his
-      native winkle, from the shell. Of my success here is a sample. We had (or
-      I had) been talking of the things that were best worth a young man's
-      study.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And there is love,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What a field for inquiry, what variety of
-      aspects, what practical lessons to be learned!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He smiled at my ardor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you ever been in love?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly,&rdquo; he replied, carelessly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But devotedly, hopelessly, as a man who would sacrifice heaven for his
-      mistress?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Haven't blown my brains out yet,&rdquo; he answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, you have been successful; you have invariably brought your little
-      affairs to a fortunate issue?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't know that I should call myself a great ladies' man.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly you are engaged?&rdquo; I suggested, remembering that I had heard that
-      this operation has a singularly sedative effect upon the English.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, with an air of ending the discussion, &ldquo;I am not.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Again this &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; followed by a compression of the lips and a cold
-      glance into vacancy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, he is a dolt; a lump of lead!&rdquo; I said to myself, and I sighed to
-      think of the people I was leaving, the people of spirit, the people of
-      wit. Little did I think how my opinion of my fellow-traveller would one
-      day alter, how my heart would expand.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But now I had something else to catch my attention. I looked out of the
-      window, and, behold, there was nothing to be seen but houses. Below the
-      level of the railway line was spread a sea of dingy brick dwellings, all,
-      save here and there a church-tower, of one uniform height and of one
-      uniform ugliness. Against the houses nearest to the railway were plastered
-      or propped, by way of decoration, vast colored testimonials to the soaps
-      and meat extracts of the country. In lines through this prosaic landscape
-      rose telegraph posts and signals, and trains bustled in every direction.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; I said to my companion, &ldquo;but I am new to this country. What
-      city is this?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;London,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      London, the far-famed! So this was London. Much need to &ldquo;paint it red,&rdquo; as
-      the English say of a frolic.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is it all like this?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not quite,&rdquo; he replied, in his good-humored tone.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thank God!&rdquo; I exclaimed, devoutly. &ldquo;I do not like to speak
-      disrespectfully of any British institution, but this&mdash;my faith!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We crossed the Thames, gray and gleaming in the sunshine, and now I am at
-      Charing Cross. Just as the train was slowing down I turned to my
-      fellow-traveller.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you been vaccinated?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; said he, in surprise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      You see even reticence has its limits.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I thank you for the confidence,&rdquo; I replied, gravely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As he stood up to take his umbrella from the rack he handed me back my
-      card.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; he abruptly remarked, in a tone, I thought, of mingled severity
-      and innuendo, &ldquo;I should have this legend altered, if I were you.
-      Good-morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And with that he was gone, and my doubts had returned. He suspected
-      something! Well, there was nothing to be done but maintain a stout heart
-      and trust to fortune. And it takes much to drive gayety from my spirits
-      for long. I was a fugitive, a stranger, a foreigner, but I hummed a tune
-      cheerfully as I waited my turn for the ordeal of the custom-house. And
-      here came one good omen. My appearance was so deceptively respectable, and
-      my air so easy, that not a question was asked me. One brief glance at my
-      dress-shirts and I was free to drive into the streets and lose myself in
-      the life of London.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Lose myself, do I say? Yes, indeed, and more than myself, too. My friends,
-      my interests, my language, my home; all these were lost as utterly as
-      though I had dropped them overboard In the Channel. I had not time to
-      obtain even one single introduction before I left, or further counsel than
-      I remembered from reading English books. And I assure you it is not so
-      easy to benefit by the experiences of Mr. Pickwick and Miss Sharp as it
-      may seem. Stories may be true to life, but, alas! life is not so true to
-      stories.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Fortunately, I could talk and read English well&mdash;even, I may say,
-      fluently; also I had the spirit of my race; and finally&mdash;and,
-      perhaps, most fortunately&mdash;I was not too old to learn.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0008" id="linkimage-0008"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter II
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>In that city, sire, even the manner of breathing was different.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;PIZARRO.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0009" id="linkimage-0009"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9025.jpg" alt="9025 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9025.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      WAS in London, the vastest collection of people and of houses this world
-      has ever seen; the ganglion, the museum, the axle of the English race; the
-      cradle of much of their genius and most of their fogs; the home of Dr.
-      Johnson, the bishops of Canterbury, the immortal Falstaff, the effigied
-      Fawkes; also the headquarters of all the profitable virtues, all the
-      principles of business. With an abandon and receptivity which I am pleased
-      to think the Creator has reserved as a consolation for the non-English, I
-      had hardly been half an hour in the city before I had become infected with
-      something of its spirit.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Goddam! What ho!&rdquo; I said to myself, in the English idiom. &ldquo;For months,
-      for years, forever, perhaps, I am to live among this incomprehensible
-      people. Well, I shall strive to learn something, and, by Great Scotland!
-      to enjoy something.&rdquo; So I turned up my trousers and sallied out of my
-      hotel.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, this was life, indeed, I had come into; not more so than Paris, but
-      differently so. Stolidly, good-naturedly, and rapidly the citizens
-      struggle along through the crowds on the pavement. They seem like helpless
-      straws revolving in a whirlpool. Yet does one of them wish to cross the
-      street? Instantly a constable raises a finger, the traffic of London is
-      stopped, and Mr. Benjamin Bull, youngest and least important son of John,
-      passes uninjured to the farther side.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is this street?&rdquo; I ask one of these officers, as he stands in the
-      midst of a crossing, signalling which cab or dray shall pass him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Strand,&rdquo; says he, stopping five omnibuses to give me this information.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where does it lead me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Which way do you wish to proceed?&rdquo; he inquires, politely, still detaining
-      the omnibuses.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;East,&rdquo; I reply, at a venture.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;First to the right, second to the left, third to the right again, and
-      take the blue bus as far as the Elephant and Angel,&rdquo; he answers, without
-      any hesitation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A thousand thanks,&rdquo; I gasp. &ldquo;I think, on the whole, I should be safer to
-      go westward.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He waves his hand, the omnibuses (which by this time have accumulated to
-      the number of fourteen) proceed upon their journey, and I, had I the key
-      to the cipher, should doubtless be in possession of valuable information.
-      Such is one instance of the way in which the Londoner's substitute for
-      Providence does its business.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I shall not attempt to give at this point an exhaustive description of
-      London. The mandates of fortune sent me at different times to enjoy
-      amusing and embarrassing experiences in various quarters of the city, and
-      these I shall touch upon in their places. It is sufficient to observe at
-      present that London is a name for many cities.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A great town, like a great man, is made up of various characters strung
-      together. Just as the soldier becomes at night the lover and next morning
-      the philosopher, so a city is on the east a factory, on the west a palace,
-      on the north a lodging-house. So it is with Paris, with Berlin, with all.
-      But London is so large, so devoid of system in its creation and in its
-      improvements, so variously populated, that it probably exceeds any in its
-      variety.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      No emperor or council of city fathers mapped the streets or regulated the
-      houses. What edifice each man wanted that he built, guided only by the
-      length of his purse and the depth of his barbarism; while the streets on
-      which this arose is either the same roadway as once served the Romans, or
-      else the speculative builder's idea of best advancing the interests of his
-      property. Then some day comes a great company who wish to occupy a hundred
-      metres of frontage and direct attention to their business. So many houses
-      are pulled down and replaced by an erection twice the height of anything
-      else, and designed, as far as possible, to imitate the cries and costume
-      of a bookmaker. And all this time there are surviving, in nooks and
-      corners, picturesque and venerable buildings of a by-gone age, and also,
-      of late, are arising on all sides worthy and dignified new piles.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      So that the history of each house and each street, the mental condition of
-      their architects and the financial condition of their occupants, are
-      written upon them plainly with a smoky finger. For you see all this
-      through an atmosphere whose millions of molecules of carbon and of aqueous
-      vapor darken the bricks and the stones, and hang like a veil of fine gauze
-      before them. London is huge, but the eternal mistiness makes it seem huger
-      still, for however high a building you climb, you can see nothing but
-      houses and yet more houses, melting at what looks a vast distance into the
-      blue-and-yellow haze. Really, there may be green woods and the fair slopes
-      of a country-side within a few miles, but since you cannot see them your
-      heart sinks, and you believe that such good things must be many leagues
-      below the brick horizon. More than once upon a Sunday morning, when the
-      air was clear, I have been startled to see from the Strand itself a
-      glimpse of the Surrey hills quite near and very beautiful, and I have
-      said, &ldquo;Thank God for this!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0010" id="linkimage-0010"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0029.jpg" alt="0029m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0029.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      It was in the morning that I arrived in London, and my first day I spent
-      in losing my way through the labyrinth of streets, which are set never at
-      a right angle to one another, and are of such different lengths that I
-      could scarcely persuade myself it had not all been specially arranged to
-      mislead me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      About one o'clock I entered a restaurant and ordered a genuine English
-      steak&mdash;the porter-house, it was called. In quality, I admit this
-      segment of an ox was admirable; but as for its quantity&mdash;my faith! I
-      ate it till half-past two and scarcely had made an impression then. Half
-      stupefied with this orgy, and the British beer I had taken to assist me in
-      the protracted effort, I returned to my hotel, and there began the journal
-      on which these memoirs are founded. As showing my sensations at the time,
-      they are now of curious interest to me. I shall give the extract I wrote
-      then:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Amusing, absorbing, entertaining as a Chinese puzzle where all the
-      pieces are alive; all these things is the city of London. Why, then, has
-      it already begun to pall upon me? Ah, it is the loneliness of a crowd! In
-      Paris I can walk by the hour and never see a face I know, and yet not feel
-      this sense of desolation. Friends need not be before the eye, but they
-      must be at hand when you wish to call them. For myself, I call them pretty
-      frequently, yet often can remain for a time content to merely know that
-      they are somewhere not too far away. But here&mdash;I may turn north,
-      south, east, or west, and walk as far as I like in any direction, and not
-      one should I find!</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Shall I ever make a friend among this old, phlegmatic, business-like
-      people? Some day perhaps, an acquaintance may be struck with some such
-      reticent and frigid monster as my fair-haired companion of the journey.
-      Would such a one console or cheer or share a single sentiment? Impossible!
-      Mon Dieu! I shall leave this town in three days; I swear it. And where
-      then? The devil knows!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this point the writing of these notes was unexpectedly interrupted,
-      only to be resumed, as it chanced, after some adventurous days.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A waiter entered, bearing a letter for me. I sprang up and seized it
-      eagerly. It was addressed to Mr. Nelson Bunyan, Esq., and marked
-      &ldquo;Immediate and confidential.&rdquo; These words were written in English and
-      execrably misspelled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It could come from but one source, for who else knew my <i>nom de plume</i>,
-      who else would write &ldquo;Immediate and confidential,&rdquo; and, I grieve to say
-      it, who else would take their precautions in such a way as instantly to
-      raise suspicions? Had the secretary of the &ldquo;Une, Deux, Trois&rdquo; no English
-      dictionary, that he need make the very waiter stare at this very
-      extraordinary address? I did my best to pass it off lightly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;From a lady,&rdquo; I said to the man. &ldquo;One not very well educated, perhaps;
-      but is education all we seek in women?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, replying to my glance with insufferable familiarity,
-      &ldquo;not all by no means.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Alas that the fugitive cannot afford to take offence!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I opened the letter, and, as I expected, it was headed by the letters U.
-      D. T:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Go at once to the house of Mr. Frederick Hankey, No. 114 or 115 George
-      Road, Streatham. Knock thrice on the third window, and when he comes say
-      distinctly 'For the King.' He will give directions for your safety.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This missive was only signed F. II, but, of course, I knew the writer&mdash;our
-      most indefatigable, our most enthusiastic, the secretary himself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, here was something to be done; a friend, perhaps, to be made; a
-      spice of interest suddenly thrown into this city of strangers. After my
-      fashion, my spirits rose as quickly as they had fallen. I whistled an air,
-      and began to think this somewhat dreary hotel not a bad place, after all.
-      I should only wait till darkness fell and then set out to interview Mr.
-      Frederick Hankey.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0011" id="linkimage-0011"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter III
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>What door will fit this key?</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Castillo Soprani.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0012" id="linkimage-0012"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9033.jpg" alt="9033 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9033.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      S I ate my solitary dinner before starting upon my expedition to Mr.
-      Hankey's house, I began to think less enthusiastically of the adventure.
-      Here was I; comfortable in my hotel, though, I admit, rather lonely; safe,
-      so far, and apparently suspected by none to be other than the blameless
-      Bunyan. Besides, now that I could find a friend for the seeking, my
-      loneliness suddenly diminished. Also I was buoyed by the thought that I
-      was a real adventurer, a romantic exile, as much so, in fact, as Prince
-      Charles of Scotland or my own beloved king. Now I was to knock upon the
-      window of a house that might be either number 114 or 115, and give myself
-      blindfold to strangers.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet on second thoughts I reflected that I knew nothing of English laws or
-      English ways. Was I not in &ldquo;perfidious Albion,&rdquo; and might I not be handed
-      over to the French government in defiance of all treaties, in order to
-      promote the insidious policy of Chamberlain? Yes, I should go, after all,
-      and I drank to the success of my adventure in a bottle of wine that sent
-      me forth to the station in as gay a spirit as any gallant could wish.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0013" id="linkimage-0013"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0034.jpg" alt="0034m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0034.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      I had made cautious inquiries, asking of different servants at the hotel,
-      and I had little difficulty in making my way by train as far as the suburb
-      in which Mr. Hankey lived. There I encountered the first disquieting
-      circumstance. Inquiring of a policeman, I found there was no such place as
-      George Road, but a St. George's Road was well known to him. If F. II had
-      been so inaccurate in one statement, might he not be equally so in
-      another?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I may mention here that the name of this road is my own invention. The
-      mistake was a similar one to that I have narrated. In all cases I have
-      altered the names of my friends and their houses, as these events happened
-      so recently that annoyance might be caused, for the English are a reticent
-      nation, and shrink from publicity as M. Zola did from oblivion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Up an immensely long and very dark road I went, studying the numbers of
-      the houses on either side, and here at once a fresh difficulty presented
-      itself. In an English suburb it is the custom to conceal the number
-      provided by the municipal authorities, and decorate the gates instead with
-      a fanciful or high-sounding title. Thus I passed &ldquo;Blenheim Lodge,&rdquo;
-       &ldquo;Strathcory,&rdquo; &ldquo;Rhododendron Grove,&rdquo; and many other such residences, but
-      only here and there could I find a number to guide me. By counting from
-      84, I came at last upon two houses standing with their gates close
-      together that must either be 114 and 115, or 115 and 116. I could not be
-      sure which, nor in either case did I know whether the one or the other
-      sheltered the conspiring Hankey. The gate on the left was labelled
-      &ldquo;Chickawungaree Villa,&rdquo; that on the right &ldquo;Mount Olympus House.&rdquo; In the
-      house I could see through the trees that all was darkness, and the gate
-      was so shabby as to suggest that no one lived there. In the villa, on the
-      contrary, I saw two or three lighted windows. I determined to try the
-      villa.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The drive wound so as to encircle what appeared in the darkness to be a
-      tennis-court and an arbor, and finally emerged through a clump of trees
-      before a considerable mansion. And here I was confronted by another
-      difficulty. My directions said, knock upon the third window. But there
-      were three on either side of the front door, and then how did I know that
-      Hankey might not prefer me to knock upon his back or his side windows? My
-      friend F. II might be a martyr and a patriot; but business-like? No.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Blind fortune is the goddess to-night,&rdquo; I said to myself, and with that I
-      tapped gently upon the third window from the door counting towards the
-      right. I have often since consoled myself by thinking that I should have
-      exhibited no greater intuition had I counted towards the left.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I tap three times. No answer. Again three times. Still no answer. It was
-      diabolically dark, and the trees made rustling noises very disconcerting
-      to the nerves of one unaccustomed to practise these preliminaries before
-      calling upon a friend.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The devil!&rdquo; I say to myself. &ldquo;This time I shall make Mr. Hankey hear me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And so I knocked very sharply and loudly, so sharply that I cracked the
-      pane.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Unfortunate,&rdquo; I thought; &ldquo;but why should I not convert Hankey's
-      misfortune into my advantage?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With the intention of perhaps obtaining a glimpse into the room, I pushed
-      the pane till, with an alarming crash, a considerable portion fell upon
-      the gravel.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0014" id="linkimage-0014"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9037.jpg" alt="9037 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9037.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      With a start I turned, and there, approaching me from either side, were
-      two men. Hankey had evidently heard me at last.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; said one of them, a stout gentleman, I could see, with a
-      consequential voice. I came a step towards him. &ldquo;For the King,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He seemed to be staring at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What the devil&mdash;?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in surprise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My heart began to sink.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are Mr. Hankey?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; he replied, with emphasis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Here was a delicate predicament!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But I was not yet at the end of my resources.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I inquire your name?&rdquo; I asked, politely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My name is Fisher,&rdquo; he said, with a greater air of consequence than ever,
-      but no greater friendliness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What, Fisher himself!&rdquo; I exclaimed, with pretended delight. &ldquo;This is
-      indeed a fortunate coincidence! How are you, Fisher?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Still no answer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I held out my hand, but this monster of British brutality paid no
-      attention to my overture.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; he asked once more.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Not having yet made up my mind who I was, I thought it better to
-      temporize.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My explanations will take a few minutes, I am afraid,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;The
-      hour also is late. May I call upon you in the morning?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I think you had better step in and explain now,&rdquo; said Fisher, curtly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      They were two to one, and very close to me, while I was hampered with my
-      British ulster. I must trust to my wits to get me safely out of this house
-      again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall be charmed, if I am not disturbing you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are disturbing me,&rdquo; said the inexorable Fisher. &ldquo;In fact, you have
-      been causing a considerable disturbance, and I should like to know the
-      reason.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Under these cheerful circumstances I entered Chickawungaree Villa, Fisher
-      preceding me, and the other man, whom I now saw to be his butler, walking
-      uncomfortably close behind.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Step in here,&rdquo; said Fisher. He showed me into what was evidently his
-      dining-room, and then, after saying a few words in an undertone to his
-      servant, he closed the door, drew forward a chair so as to cut off my
-      possible line of flight, sat upon it, and breathed heavily towards me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Figure to yourself my situation. A large, red-faced, gray-whiskered
-      individual, in a black morning-coat and red slippers, staring stolidly at
-      me from a meat-eating eye; name Fisher, but all other facts concerning him
-      unknown.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0015" id="linkimage-0015"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0039.jpg" alt="0039m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0039.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      A stiff, uninhabited-looking apartment of considerable size, lit with the
-      electric light, upholstered in light wood and new red leather, and
-      ornamented by a life-sized portrait of Fisher himself, this picture being
-      as uncompromising and apoplectic as the original. Finally, standing in an
-      artificially easy attitude before a fireplace containing a frilled
-      arrangement of pink paper, picture an exceedingly uncomfortable Frenchman.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You scarcely expected me?&rdquo; I begin, with a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did not,&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did not expect to see you,&rdquo; I continue; but to this he makes no reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I was looking for the house of Mr. Hankey.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Were you?&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you know him?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A pause. The campaign has opened badly; no doubt of that. I must try
-      another move.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will wonder how I knew him,&rdquo; I say, pleasant.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Fisher only breathes more heavily.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Our mutual friend, Smith,&rdquo; I begin, watching closely to see if his mind
-      responds to this name. I know that Smith is common in England, and think
-      he will surely know some one so called. &ldquo;Smith mentioned you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But no, there is no gleam of recognition.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Indeed,&rdquo; is all he remarks, very calmly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      There is no help for it, I must go on.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I intended to call upon you some day this week. I have heard you highly
-      spoken of&mdash;'The great Fisher,' 'The famous Fisher.' Indeed, sir, I
-      assure you, your name is a household word in Scotland.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I choose Scotland because I know its accent is different from English. My
-      own also is different. Therefore I shall be Scotch. Unhappy selection!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you mean to pretend you are Scotch?&rdquo; says Fisher, frowning as well as
-      breathing at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I must withdraw one foot.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Half Scotch, half Italian,&rdquo; I reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, France, why did I deny you? I was afraid to own you, I blush to
-      confess it. And I was righteously punished.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Italian?&rdquo; says he, with more interest. &ldquo;Ah, indeed!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0016" id="linkimage-0016"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9041.jpg" alt="9041 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9041.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      He stares more intently, frowns more portentously, and respires more
-      loudly than ever.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A charming country,&rdquo; I say.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No doubt,&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At this moment the door opens behind him and a lady appears. She has a
-      puffy cheek, a pale eye, a comfortable figure, a curled fringe of gray
-      hair, and slightly projecting teeth; in a word, the mate of Fisher. There
-      can be no mistake, and I am quick to seize the chance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear Mrs. Fisher!&rdquo; I exclaim, advancing towards her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With a movement like a hippopotamus wallowing, Fisher places himself
-      between us. Does he think I have come to elope with her?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I assume the indignant rôle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mr. Fisher!&rdquo; I cry, much hurt at this want of confidence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is this gentleman?&rdquo; asks Mrs. Fisher, looking at me, I think, with a
-      not altogether disapproving glance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ask him,&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Madame,&rdquo; I say, with a bow, &ldquo;I am an unfortunate stranger, come to pay my
-      respects to Mr. Fisher and his beautiful lady. I wish you could explain my
-      reception.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is your name?&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher, with comparative graciousness,
-      considering that she is a bourgeois Englishwoman taken by surprise, and
-      fearing both to be cold to a possible man of position and to be friendly
-      with a possible nobody.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A name I must have, and I must also invent it at once, and it must be
-      something both Scotch and Italian. I take the first two that come into my
-      head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dugald Cellarini,&rdquo; I reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      They look at one another dubiously. I must put them at their ease at any
-      cost.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A fine picture,&rdquo; I say, indicating the portrait of my host, &ldquo;and an
-      excellent likeness. Do you not think so, Mrs. Fisher?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She looks at me as if she had a new thought.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you a friend of the artist?&rdquo; she asks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An intimate,&rdquo; I reply with alacrity.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We have informed Mr. Benzine that we specially desired him not to bring
-      any more of his Bohemian acquaintances to our house,&rdquo; says the amiable
-      lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I am plunging deeper into the morass! Still, I have at last accounted for
-      my presence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mr. Benzine did not warn me of this, madame,&rdquo; I reply, coldly. &ldquo;I
-      apologize and I withdraw.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I make a step towards the door, but the large form of Fisher still
-      intervenes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then Benzine sent you?&rdquo; he says.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He did, though evidently under a misapprehension.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And what about Smith?&rdquo; asks Fisher, with an approach to intelligence in
-      his bovine eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, what about him?&rdquo; I ask, defiantly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did he send you, too?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My reception has been such that I decline to give any further
-      explanations.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is all very well,&rdquo; says Fisher&mdash;&ldquo;that is all very well&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He is evidently cogitating what is all very well, when we hear heavy steps
-      in the passage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They have come at last!&rdquo; he exclaims, and opens the door.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;More visitors!&rdquo; I say to myself, hoping now for a diversion. In another
-      moment I get it. Enter the butler and two gigantic policemen.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0017" id="linkimage-0017"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter IV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'<i>Let me out,' said the mouse, 'I do not care for this cheese.</i>'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Fables of Laetertius.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0018" id="linkimage-0018"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9044.jpg" alt="9044 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9044.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ICTURE now this comedy and its actors. Fisher of the porpoise habit, Mrs.
-      Fisher of the puffy cheek, poor Dugald Cellarini, and these two vast,
-      blue-coated, thief-catching &ldquo;bobbies&rdquo; (as with kindly humor the English
-      term their police); all save Dugald looking terribly solemn and important.
-      He, poor man, strove hard to give the affair a lighter turn, but what is
-      one artist in a herd of Philistines? I was not appreciated; that is the
-      truth. A man may defy an empire, a papal bull, an infectious disease, but
-      a prejudice&mdash;never! &ldquo;Constable,&rdquo; says Fisher, &ldquo;I have caught him.&rdquo;
-       Both bobbies look at me with much the same depressing glance as Fisher
-      himself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir,&rdquo; says one, in what evidently was intended for a tone of
-      congratulation. &ldquo;So I see.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The other bobby evidently agrees with this sentiment. Wonderful unanimity!
-      I have noticed it in the Paris gendarmes also, the same quick and
-      intelligent grasp of a situation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The latter quality was so conspicuous in my two blue-coated friends that I
-      named them instantly Lecoq and Holmes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Holmes speaks next, after an impressive pause.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What's he done?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is the point,&rdquo; says Fisher, in a tone of such damaging insinuation
-      that I am spurred to my defence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Exactly&mdash;what have I done?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He has endeavored to effect an entry into my house by removing a pane of
-      glass,&rdquo; says Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon me; to call the attention of the servants by rapping upon a pane
-      of glass.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come now, none of that!&rdquo; says Lecoq, with such severity that I see the
-      situation at once. He is jealous. I have cast an imputation on some fair
-      housemaid&mdash;the future Mrs. Lecoq, no doubt.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An assignation, you think?&rdquo; I ask, with a reassuring smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sir!&rdquo; cries Mrs. Fisher, indignantly. &ldquo;It was my daughter's window you
-      broke!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Shall I pose as the lover of Miss Fisher? I have heard that unmarried
-      English girls take strange liberties.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your fair daughter&mdash;&rdquo; I begin.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is a child of fifteen,&rdquo; interrupts virtuous Mrs.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Fisher, &ldquo;and I am certain knows nothing of this person.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      By the expression of their intelligent countenances, Holmes and Lecoq show
-      their concurrence in this opinion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Confront her with me!&rdquo; I demand, folding my arms defiantly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It has since struck me that this was a happy inspiration, and in the right
-      dramatic key. Unfortunately, it requires an imaginative audience, and I
-      had two Fishers and two bobbies.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Rapidly I had calculated what would happen. The fair and innocent maiden
-      should be aroused from her virgin slumbers; with dishevelled locks, and in
-      a long, loose, and becoming drapery of some soft color (light blue to
-      harmonize with her flaxen hair, for instance), she should be led into this
-      chamber of the inquisition; then my eye should moisten, my voice be as the
-      lute of Apollo, and it would be a thousand francs to a dishonored check
-      that I should melt her into some soft confession. Not that I should ask
-      her to compromise her reputation to save me. Never, on my honor, would I
-      permit that. Indeed, if my plight tempted her to invent a story she might
-      repent of afterwards, I should disavow it with so sincere and honest an
-      air that my captors would exclaim together, &ldquo;We have misjudged him!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No, I should merely persuade her to confess that a not ill-looking
-      foreigner had pursued her with glances of chivalrous admiration for some
-      days past, and that from his air of hopeless passion it was not surprising
-      to find him to-night tapping upon her window-pane.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Alas, that so promising a scheme should fail through the incurable poverty
-      of the Fisher spirit! My demand is simply ignored.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What acquaintance have you with my daughter?&rdquo; asks Mrs. Fisher, icily.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will respect my confidence?&rdquo; I ask, earnestly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We shall use our discretion,&rdquo; replies the virtuous lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Quite so; we shall use our discretion,&rdquo; repeats her unspeakable husband.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am satisfied with your assurance,&rdquo; I say. &ldquo;The discretion of a Fisher
-      is equivalent to the seal of the confessional. I thank you from my heart,
-      and I bow to your judgment.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you know of my daughter?&rdquo; Mrs. Fisher repeats, quite unmoved by
-      my candor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Madame, I was about to tell you. You asked if I was acquainted with that
-      charming, and, I can assure you on my honor, spotless young lady?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher; &ldquo;but I do not require any remarks on her
-      character from you, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon me; they escaped me inadvertently What I feel deeply I am tempted
-      to say. I do not know Miss Fisher personally. I have not yet ventured to
-      address a word to her, not so much as a syllable, not even a whisper. My
-      respect for her innocence, for her youth, for her parents, has been too
-      great. But this I confess: I have for days, for weeks, for months,
-      followed her loved figure with the eye of chaste devotion! On her walks
-      abroad I have been her silent, frequently her unseen, attendant. Through
-      every street in London I have followed the divine Miss Fisher, as a sailor
-      the polar star! To-night, in a moment of madness, I approached her home; I
-      touched her window that I might afterwards kiss the hand that had come so
-      near her! In my passion I touched too hard, the pane broke, and here I
-      stand before you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      So completely had I been carried away on the wings of my own fancy that
-      once or twice in the course of this outburst I had committed myself to
-      more than I had any intention of avowing. Be emphatic but never definite,
-      is my counsel to the liar. But I had, unluckily, tied myself to my
-      inventions. The gestures, the intonation, the key of sentiment were beyond
-      criticism; but then I was addressing Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, of
-      Chickawungaree Villa.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      They glance at one another, and Lecoq glances at them.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He, honest man, merely touches his head significantly and winks in my
-      direction. The Fishers are not, however, content with this charitable
-      criticism.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My daughter only returned from her seminary in Switzerland four days
-      ago,&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And she has never visited the streets of London except in Mrs. Fisher's
-      company,&rdquo; adds her spouse, with a look of what is either dull hatred or
-      impending apoplexy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Even at that crisis my wits did not desert me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My faith!&rdquo; I cry, &ldquo;I must be mistaken! It is not, then, Miss Fisher whom
-      I worship! A thousand pardons, sir, and I beg of you to convey them to the
-      lady whom I disturbed under a misapprehension!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this there is a pause, nobody volunteering to run with this message to
-      the bedside of Miss Fisher, though I glance pointedly at Holmes, and even
-      make the money in my pocket jingle. At last comes a sound of stifled air
-      trying to force a passage through something dense. It proceeds, I notice,
-      from my friend Fisher. Then it becomes a more articulate though scarcely
-      less disagreeable noise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I do not believe a word you say, sir!&rdquo; he booms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My friend, you are an agnostic,&rdquo; I reply, with a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Fisher only breathes with more apparent difficulty than ever. He is
-      evidently going to deal a heavy blow this time. It falls.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I charge this person with being concerned in the burglary at Mrs.
-      Thompson's house last night, and with trying to burgle mine,&rdquo; says he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He pauses, and then delivers another:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He has confessed to being an Italian.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The constables prick up their ears.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The organ-grinder!&rdquo; exclaims Holmes, with more excitement than I had
-      thought him capable of.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The man as made the butler drunk and gagged the cook!&rdquo; cries Lecoq.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Here is a fine situation for a political fugitive! I am indignant. I am
-      pathetic. 'No use. I explain frankly that I came to see Mr. Hankey. That
-      only deepens suspicion, for it seems that the excellent Hankey inhabited
-      Mount Olympus House next door for only three weeks, and departed a month
-      ago without either paying his rent or explaining the odor of dead bodies
-      proceeding from his cellars. Doubtless my French friends had acted for the
-      best in sending me to him, but would that he had taken the trouble to
-      inform them of his change of address! And then, why had I ever thought of
-      being an Italian? It appeared now that a gentleman of that nationality,
-      having won the confidence of the Thompson children and the Thompson
-      servants by his skill upon the hand-organ, had basely misused it in the
-      fashion indicated by Lecoq. Certainly it was hard to see why such a
-      skilled artist should have returned the very next night to a house three
-      doors away, and then bungled his business so shamefully; but that argument
-      is beyond the imagination of my bobbies. In fact, they seem only too
-      pleased to find a thief so ready to meet them half-way.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thank you, sir,&rdquo; says Holmes, at the conclusion of the painful scene. &ldquo;We
-      shouldn't mind a drop.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This means that they are about to be rewarded for their share in the
-      capture by a glass of Fisher's ale. And I? Well, I am not to have any ale,
-      but I am to accompany them to the cells, and next morning make my
-      appearance before the magistrate on one charge of burglary and another of
-      attempted burglary.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I cannot resist one parting shot at my late host.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, Fisher,&rdquo; I remark, critically, showing no hurry to leave the room,
-      &ldquo;I like that portrait of you. It has all your plain, well-fed,
-      plum-pudding appearance, without your unpleasant manner of breathing and
-      your ridiculous conversation&mdash;and it is not married to Mrs. Fisher.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      To this there is no reply. Indeed, I do not think they recovered their
-      senses for at least ten minutes after I left the room.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0019" id="linkimage-0019"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter V
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>The comedy of the law is probably the chief diversion of the angels.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0020" id="linkimage-0020"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9052.jpg" alt="9052 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9052.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      VER the rest of that night I shall draw a veil. I was taken to Newgate,
-      immured in the condemned cell, and left to my reflections. They were
-      sombre enough, I assure you. Young, ambitious, ardent, I sat there in that
-      foreign prison, without a friend, without a hope. If I state the truth
-      about myself, this excuse will be seized for sending me back to France.
-      And what then? Another prison! If I keep my identity concealed, how shall
-      I prove that I am not the burgling musician?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As you can well imagine, I slept little and dreamed much. I was only
-      thankful I had no parents to mourn my loss, for by this time I had quite
-      made up my mind that the organ-grinder's antecedents would certainly hang
-      me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I cursed Fisher, I cursed the League, I cursed F. II, that indefatigable
-      conspirator who had dragged me from a comfortable hotel and a safe alias
-      to&mdash;what? The scaffold; ah, yes, the scaffold!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It may sound amusing now, when I am still unhanged; but it was far from
-      amusing then, I assure you.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, the morning broke at last, and I was led, strongly escorted by the
-      twins Lecoq and Holmes, towards the venerable law-court at Westminster. I
-      recognized the judge, the jury, the witnesses, and the counsel, though my
-      thoughts were too engrossed to take a careful note of these. In fact, in
-      writing this account I am to some extent dependent on reports of other
-      trials. They are all much the same, I understand, differing chiefly as one
-      or more judges sit upon the bench.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In this case there was only one, a little gentleman with a shrewd eye and
-      a dry voice&mdash;a typical hanging judge, I said to myself. I prepared
-      for the worst.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      First comes the formal accusation. I, giving the name of Dugald Cellarini
-      am a blood-thirsty burglar. Such, in brief, is the charge, although its
-      deadly significance is partly obscured by the discreet phraseology of the
-      law.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then my friend Holmes enters the box, stiff and evidently nervous, and in
-      a halting voice and incoherent manner (which in France would inevitably
-      have led to his being placed in the dock himself) he describes the clever
-      way I was caught by himself and the astute Lecoq. So misleading is his
-      account of my guilty demeanor and suspicious conduct, that I instantly
-      resolve to cross-examine him. Politely but firmly I request the judge's
-      permission. It is granted, and I can see there is a stir of excitement in
-      the court.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did I struggle with you?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Holmes, turning redder than ever, admits that I did not.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did I knock you down? Did I seek to escape?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No, Holmes was not knocked down, nor had I tried to escape from the
-      representatives of the law.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And why, if I was a burglar, did I not do these things?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You wasn't big enough,&rdquo; says Holmes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, I admit he had the advantage of me there. The court, prejudiced
-      against me as they were, laughed with Holmes, but at the next bout I
-      returned his lunge with interest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What did Fisher give you to drink?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The question is dismissed by my vindictive judge as irrelevant, but I have
-      thrown Holmes into great confusion and made the court smile with me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is all,&rdquo; I say, in the tone of a conqueror, and thereupon Lecoq
-      takes the place of Holmes, and in precisely the same manner, and with the
-      same criminal look of abasement, repeats almost exactly the same words.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Against him I design a different line of counterattack. I remember his
-      jealousy when I spoke of the servants, and, if possible, I shall discredit
-      his testimony by an assault upon his character. Assuming an encouraging
-      air, I ask:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You know the servants at Fisher's house?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He stammers, &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;With one in particular you are well acquainted?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He looks at the judge for protection, but so little is my line of attack
-      suspected that the judge only gazes at us in rapt attention.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; says Lecoq, after a horribly incriminating pause.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Now tell me this,&rdquo; I demand, sternly. &ldquo;Have you always behaved towards
-      her as an honorable policeman?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Would you believe it? This question also is disallowed! But I think I have
-      damaged Lecoq all the same.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Next comes Fisher, red-faced, more pompous than ever, and inspired, I can
-      see, with vindictive hatred towards myself. It appears that he is a London
-      merchant; that his daughter heard a tapping on her window and called her
-      father; that he and his servant caught me in the act of entering the
-      chaste bedchamber through a broken window.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At this point I ask if I may put a question. The judge says yes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How much glass fell out?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Half a pane,&rdquo; says he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And the rest stayed in?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He has to admit that it did; very ungraciously, however.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How many panes to the window?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He cannot answer this; but the judge, much to my surprise, comes to the
-      rescue and elicits the fact that there are six.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How far had I gone through a twelfth of your window?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      His face gets redder, and there is a laugh through the court. I feel that
-      I have &ldquo;scored a try,&rdquo; as they say, and my spirits begin to rise again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But, alas! they are soon damped. Mrs. Thompson's butler steps into the
-      witness-box, and a more shameless liar I have never heard. Yes, he
-      remembers an organ-grinder coming to the house on various occasions during
-      the past fortnight. Here I interpose.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What did he play?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not being interested in such kinds of music, I cannot say.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly you have a poor ear?&rdquo; I suggest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My ear is as right as some people's, but it has not been accustomed to
-      the hand-organ,&rdquo; says the butler, with a magnificence that seems to
-      impress even the judge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You should have it boxed, my friend,&rdquo; I cannot help retorting, though I
-      fear this does not meet the unqualified approval of the judge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Next he is asked for an account of his dealings with the musician when
-      that gentleman visited the kitchen upon the night of the burglary, and it
-      appears that, shortly after the grinder's departure, he lost consciousness
-      with a completeness and rapidity that can only have been caused by some
-      insidious drug surreptitiously introduced into the glass of beer he
-      happened to be finishing at that moment. He scorns the insinuation (made
-      by myself) that he and the musician were drinking together; he would not
-      so far demean himself. That outcast did, however, on one occasion,
-      approach suspiciously near his half-empty glass.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I remark, with a smile, &ldquo;the moral Is that next time you should
-      provide your guests with glasses of their own.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Again I score, but quickly he has his revenge. Does he recognize me as the
-      organ-grinder? he is asked. He is not sure of the face, not taking
-      particular notice of persons of that description, but&mdash;he is ready to
-      swear to my voice!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It seems, then, that I have the same accent as an Italian organ-grinder! I
-      bow ironically, but the sarcasm, I fear, is lost.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is so distinctive about this voice I share with your Italian boon
-      companion?&rdquo; I inquire, suavely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He evidently dislikes the innuendo, but, in the presence of so many of his
-      betters, decides to retaliate only by counter-sarcasm. &ldquo;It's what I call
-      an unedicated voice,&rdquo; says he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Uneducated Italian or uneducated English?&rdquo; I inquire.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Italian,&rdquo; he replies, with the most consummate assurance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You know Italian?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Having travelled in Italy, I am not altogether unfamiliar,&rdquo; he answers.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I then put to him a simple Italian sentence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What does that mean, and is it educated or uneducated?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It means something that I should not care for his lordship to hear, and
-      is the remark of a thoroughly uneducated person,&rdquo; he retorts.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The court roars, and some even cheer the witness. For myself, I am
-      compelled to join the laughter&mdash;the impudence is so colossal.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My lord,&rdquo; I say to the judge, &ldquo;this distinguished scholar has so delicate
-      a mind that I should only scandalize him by asking further questions.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      So the butler retires with such an air of self-satisfaction that I could
-      have shot him, and the gagged cook takes his place.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This young woman is not ill-looking, and is very abashed at having to make
-      this public appearance. It appears that her glimpse of the burglar was
-      brief, as with commendable prudence he rapidly fastened her night-shift
-      over her head, but in that glimpse she recognized my mustache!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Could she tell how it felt?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The point is appreciated by the court, though not, I fear, by the judge,
-      who looks at me as though calculating the drop he should allow. Yes, it is
-      all very well to jest about my mustache, but to be hanged by it, that is a
-      different affair. And the case is very black against me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Has the prisoner any witnesses to call?&rdquo; asks the judge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I reply, &ldquo;but I shall make you a speech.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And thereupon I delight them with the following oration, an oration which
-      should have gone on much longer than it did but for a most unforeseen
-      interruption.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My lord, the jury, and my peers,&rdquo; I begin&mdash;remembering so much from
-      my historical stories&mdash;&ldquo;I am entirely guiltless of this extraordinary
-      and infamous charge. No one but such a man as Fisher would have brought
-      it!&rdquo; [Here I point my finger at the unhappy tenant of Chickawungaree.]
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No one else of the brave English would have stooped to injure an innocent
-      and defenceless stranger! As to the butler and the cook, you have seen
-      their untruthful faces, you have heard their incredible testimony. I say
-      no more regarding them. The policemen have only shown that they found me
-      an unwilling and insulted&mdash;though invited&mdash;guest of the
-      perfidious Fisher. What harm, then? Have you never been the unwilling
-      guests of a distasteful host?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who am I? Why did I visit such a person as Fisher? I shall tell you. I am
-      a French subject, a traveller in England. Only yesterday I arrived in
-      London. How can I, then, have burgled Madame Thompson? Impossible! Absurd!
-      I had not set my foot upon the shores of England&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this point the judge, in his dry voice, interrupts me to ask if I can
-      bring any witnesses to prove this assertion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Witnesses?&rdquo; I exclaim, not knowing what the devil to add to this dramatic
-      cry, when, behold! I see, sent by Providence, a young man rising from his
-      seat in the court. It is my fair-haired fellow-passenger!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I give evidence?&rdquo; says he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Though your name be Iscariot, yes!&rdquo; I cry.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The judge frowns, for it seems the demand was addressed to him and not to
-      me; but he permits my acquaintance to enter the box. And now a doubt
-      assails me. What will he say? Add still more damaging testimony, or prove
-      that I am the harmless Bunyan?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He does neither, but in a very composed and assured fashion, that carries
-      conviction with it, he tells the judge that he travelled with me from
-      Paris on the very night of the crime, adding that I had appeared to him a
-      very harmless though somewhat eccentric person. Not the adjectives I
-      should have chosen myself, perhaps; but, I assure you, I should have let
-      him call me vulgar or dirty without a word of protest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Of course it follows that I cannot be the musical burglar, while as for my
-      friend Fisher, that worthy gentleman is so disconcerted at the turn things
-      have taken that he seems as anxious to withdraw his share of the charge as
-      he was to make it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I am saved; the case breaks, down.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How's that?&rdquo; says the judge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Guiltless!&rdquo; cries the jury.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And so I am a free man once more, and the cook must swear to another
-      mustache.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The first thing I do is to seize my witness and drag him from the court,
-      repeating my thanks all the while.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But how did you come to be in court?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I happen to be a barrister!&rdquo; he explains. &ldquo;I came in about another
-      case, and, finding you'd been burgling, I thought I'd stay and see the
-      fun.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your case must take care of itself; come and lunch with me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, he can escape. His case will not come on to-day, as mine has taken so
-      long; and so we go forth together to begin a friendship that I trust may
-      always endure.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And to this day I have never paid for Fisher's broken pane of glass.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0021" id="linkimage-0021"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter VI
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>On earth men style him 'Richard,''</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>But the gods hail him 'Dick.</i>'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;An English Poet (adapted).
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0022" id="linkimage-0022"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9062.jpg" alt="9062 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9062.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      FRIEND in need.&rdquo; say the English, &ldquo;is a friend indeed. And who could be
-      more in need of a friend than I at that moment? It was like the rolling up
-      of London fog-banks and the smile of the sun peeping through at last. No
-      longer was I quite alone in my exile. If you have ever wandered solitary
-      through an unknown city, listened to a foreign tongue and to none other,
-      eaten alien viands, fallen into strange misadventures, and all without a
-      single friendly ear to confide your troubles to, you will sympathize with
-      the joyous swelling of my heart as I faced my barrister at that luncheon.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And he, I assure you, was a very other person from the indifferent
-      Englishman of the journey. The good heart was showing through, still
-      obscured as it was by the self-contained manner and the remnants of that
-      suspicion with which every Briton is taught to regard the insinuating
-      European.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I have already given you a sketch of his exterior&mdash;the smooth, fair
-      hair, the ruddy cheek, the clear eye, and, I should add, the compressed
-      and resolute mouth; also, not least, the admirable fit of his garments.
-      Now I can fill in the picture: Name, to begin with, Richard Shafthead;
-      younger son of honest, conservative baronet; eldest brother provided with
-      an income, I gather, Dick with injunctions to earn one. Hence attendance
-      at courts of justice, a respectable gravity of apparel, and that
-      compression of the lips. In speech, courteous upon a slight acquaintance,
-      though without any excessive anxiety to please; on greater intimacy, very
-      much to the point without regarding much the susceptibilities of his
-      audience. Yet this bluntness was, tempered always by good-fellowship, and
-      sometimes by a smile; and beneath it flowed, deep down, and scarcely ever
-      bubbling into the light of day, a stream of sentiment that linked him with
-      the poetry of his race. My friend Shafthead would have laughed outright
-      had you told him this. Nevertheless this secret is the skeleton in the
-      respectable English cupboard. Your John Bull is an edifice of sentiment
-      jealously covered by a hoarding on which are displayed advertisements of
-      pills and other practical commodities. It is his one fear lest any one
-      should discover this preposterous and hideous erection is not the real
-      building.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick's only comment on the above statement would probably be that I had
-      mixed my metaphors or had exceeded at lunch. But he is shrewd enough to
-      know in his heart that I have but spoken the truth, even though my
-      metaphors were as heterogeneous as the ark of Noah. How else can you
-      explain the astonishing contrast between those who write the songs of
-      England and those whose industry enables them to recompense the singers?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      No doubt there is a noticeable difference between the poet and the people
-      in every land and every race, but in England it is so staggering. The hair
-      of the English poet is so very long, his eye so very frenzied, his voice
-      so steeped in emotion, so buoyed by melody. Even his prose appeals to the
-      heart rather than to the head. Thackeray weeps as he writes of good women;
-      Scott blushes as he writes of bad. No one is cynical but the villains. The
-      heroines are all pure as the best cocoa.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then look at the check suits and the stony eyes of Mr. Cook's protégées.
-      Do they understand what Tennyson has written for them? If not, why do they
-      pay for it?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      John Bull and John Milton; William Bull and William Shakespeare; Lord Bull
-      and Lord Byron; Charles Bull and Charles Dickens; how are these couples
-      related? By this religious, moral, sentimental stream; welling in one,
-      hidden in another under ten tons of shyness and roast beef; a torrent
-      here, a trickle there, sometimes almost dry in a dusty season. That is
-      how.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Does Dick again recommend teetotalism as a cure for these speculations?
-      Come with me to your rooms, my friend, and let us glance through your
-      library.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I take up a volume of Shakespeare and find it contains the sonnets.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, Shakespeare's sonnets,&rdquo; I say, with an air of patronage towards that
-      eminent poet. &ldquo;You know them?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Used to know 'em a little.&rdquo; He is giving me another taste of that
-      characteristic British stare. Evidently he is offended by my tone, and
-      will fall an easy victim to my next move.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They are much overrated,&rdquo; I say, putting the book away.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You should write to the <i>Times</i> about it,&rdquo; he replies,
-      sarcastically, and then adds, with conviction, &ldquo;They are about the finest
-      things in English.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yet no Englishman reads them,&rdquo; I remark, lightly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I used to know half a dozen of 'em by heart,&rdquo; he retorts.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Half a dozen of those miracles of sensuous diction off by heart! Prosaic
-      Briton! I do not say this aloud, but take next the songs of Kipling, and
-      profess not to understand one of them. To convince me it is not mere
-      nonsense, he reads and expounds.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He has been round the world, and shot wild beasts on the veldt and in the
-      jungle, and can explain allusions and share exotic sentiments.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Is this man mere plum-pudding and international perfidy, who feels thus
-      the glamour of the song?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, here is a novel of Zola!&rdquo; I exclaim. &ldquo;You enjoy him, of course?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A filthy brute,&rdquo; says Dick. &ldquo;I read half of that, and I am keeping it now
-      for shaving-papers.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      There is perhaps more strength of conviction than critical judgment in
-      this comment. I might retort that all the water in the world neither has
-      been passed through a filter nor foams over a fall, and that the pond and
-      the gutter have their purpose in the world. I do not make this reply,
-      however; I merely note that a strong sentiment must underlie a strong
-      prejudice.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As you will perhaps have gathered, my good Dick had his limitations. He
-      could be sympathetic; if, for instance, he were to see me insulted,
-      beaten, robbed of my purse and my mistress, and blinded in one eye, he
-      would, I am sure, feel for me deeply, and show himself most tactful in his
-      consolation. But it would require some such well-marked instance to open
-      the gates of his heart; and in minor matters I should not dream of
-      applying to him, unless, indeed, it was a practical service he could
-      perform.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He himself had held his peace and confided in no one when his fair cousin
-      married the wealthy manufacturer of soda-water, and his heart had long
-      since healed. In the days of his wild oats, when duns were knocking at his
-      door, he had retired from St. James Street to a modest apartment in the
-      Temple, sold such of his effects as were marketable, and philosophically
-      sought a cheap restaurant and a coarser tobacco. His debts were now paid
-      and all was well again. When he did not get the degree he was expected to
-      at Oxford, he may have said &ldquo;damn,&rdquo; but I doubt if he enlarged on this
-      observation. What did that disappointment matter to-day? Then why should
-      other people make a fuss if they were hurt?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet his heart was as a child's if you could extract it from its wrappings
-      of tin-foil and brown paper, and I am happy I knew him long enough to see
-      him &ldquo;play the fool,&rdquo; as he would term it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      On that first afternoon of our acquaintance I found him courteous before
-      lunch, genial after (I took care to &ldquo;make him proud.&rdquo; as the English say).
-      I was perfectly frank; told him my true name, the plot that had
-      miscarried, my flight to England&mdash;everything.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am not Bunyan, I am not even Cellarini, but merely Augustine d'Haricot,
-      eternally at your service,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You have saved me from prison,
-      perhaps from the scaffold.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It wouldn't have been as bad as that, but I'm glad to have been of any
-      use.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And then changing the subject, as an Englishman does when complimented
-      (for they hold that either you lie and are a knave, or tell the truth and
-      are a fool), he asked:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What are you going to do now?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That depends upon your advice,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;What is my danger? How wise
-      is it to move freely in this country?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;There is no danger at all if it is only a political offence,&rdquo; he
-      answered. &ldquo;Unless you've been picking pockets, or anything else as well.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I answered him I had not, and he promised to inquire into the case and
-      give me a full assurance on the next morning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;tell me, my friend, how to live as an Englishman. I do
-      not mean to adopt the English mind, the English sentiment, but only to
-      move in your world, so long as I must live in it. I want to see, I want to
-      hear, I want to record my impressions and my adventures. As the time is
-      not ripe to wield the sword, I shall wield the eyes and the pen. Also, I
-      shall doubtless fall in love, and I should like to hunt a fox and shoot a
-      pheasant.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We laughed together at this programme; in brief, we made a good beginning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      That afternoon we set out together to look for suitable apartments for
-      myself, and by a happy chance we had hardly gone a hundred paces before we
-      spied a gentleman approaching us whom Shafthead declared to be a veritable
-      authority on London life; also a cousin of his own.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But will he not be busy?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Young devil,&rdquo; answered Shafthead, &ldquo;it will serve to keep him out of
-      mischief for an hour or two.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Thereupon I was presented to Mr. Teddy Lumme, a young gentleman of small
-      stature, with a small, cheerful, clean-shaven, dark face, and a large hat
-      that sloped backward and sideways towards a large collar. His elbows moved
-      as though he were driving a cab; his boots shone brightly enough to serve
-      for mirrors; his morning-coat was cut in imitation of the &ldquo;pink&rdquo; of a
-      huntsman; a large mass of variegated silk was fastened beneath his collar
-      by a neat pearl pin; in a word, he belonged to a type that is universal,
-      yet this specimen was unmistakably English. In age I learned afterwards
-      that he was just twenty-five, emancipated for little more than a year from
-      the University of Oxford, and still enjoying the relief from the rigorous
-      rules of that institution. No accusation of reticence to be made against
-      Mr. Lumme! He talked all the time, cheerfully and artlessly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You want rooms?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Quelle chose? I mean, don't you know, what
-      kind? I don't know much French, I'm afraid. Oh, you talk English? Devilish
-      glad to hear it. I say, Dick, you remember that girl I told you of? Well,
-      it's just as I said. I knew, damn it all. What do you want to give?&rdquo; (This
-      to me.) &ldquo;You don't care much? That simplifies matters.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      In this strain Mr. Lumme entertained us on our way, Shafthead regarding
-      him with a half-amused, half-sardonic grin, of which his relative seemed
-      entirely oblivious, while I enjoyed myself amazingly. I felt like Captain
-      Cook on the gallant <i>Marchand</i> palavering with the chiefs of some
-      equatorial state.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I demand a cold bath and an English servant,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Anything else
-      characteristic you can add, but those are essential.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0023" id="linkimage-0023"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8070.jpg" alt="8070 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8070.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      I do not know whether Lumme quite understood this to be a jest. He took
-      me to three sets of apartments, and at each asked first to be shown the
-      bathroom, and then the servant, after which he inquired the price, and
-      whether a tenant was at liberty to introduce any guest at any hour.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Finally, to end the story of that day, which began in jail and ended so
-      merrily, I found myself the tenant of a highly comfortable set of
-      apartments, with everything but the valet supplied at an astonishingly
-      high price.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;However,&rdquo; I said to myself, &ldquo;it may be expensive, but it is better than
-      ten years' transportation for burgling Fisher!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0024" id="linkimage-0024"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter VII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Little, cheerful, and honest&mdash;do you not know the species?</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Kovaleffski.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0025" id="linkimage-0025"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9072.jpg" alt="9072 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9072.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HAD left my hotel and settled in my apartments; the labels with &ldquo;Nelson
-      Bunyan&rdquo; were removed from my luggage; I had been assured that so long as I
-      remained on English soil I was safe. Next thing I must find a servant; one
-      who should &ldquo;know the ropes&rdquo; of an English life. Lumme had promised to make
-      inquiries for me, and I had impressed upon him that the following things
-      were essential&mdash;in fact, I declared that without them I should never
-      entertain an application for one instant. First, he must be of such an
-      appearance as would do me credit, whether equipped in the livery I had
-      already designed for him, in the cast-off suits I should provide him with,
-      or in the guise of an attendant at the chase or upon the moors. Then, that
-      he must be honest enough to trust in the room with a handful of mixed
-      change, sober enough to leave alone with a decanter, discerning enough to
-      arrange an odd lot of sixteen boots into eight pairs, cleanly enough to
-      pack collars without soiling them. Finally, he must be polite, obliging,
-      industrious, discreet, and, if possible, a little religious&mdash;not
-      sufficiently so to criticise my conduct, but enough to regulate his own.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I wrote this list down and handed it to the obliging Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will procure him by this afternoon?&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know a man who keeps a Methodist footman in his separate
-      establishment,&rdquo; answered Lumme, after a moment's reflection. &ldquo;That's the
-      kind of article you require, I suppose. If you get 'em too moral there's
-      apt to be a screw loose somewhere, and if you get 'em the other way the
-      spoons go. Well, I can't promise, but I'll do my best.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      So this amiable young man departed, and I, to pass the time, walked into
-      Piccadilly, and there took my seat once more upon the top of an omnibus to
-      enjoy the sunshine, and be for a time a spectator of the life in the
-      streets. To obtain a better view I sat down on the front bench close to
-      the driver's elbow, and we had not gone very far before this individual
-      turned to me and remarked with a cordiality that pleased me infinitely,
-      and a perspicacity that astonished me:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Been long in London, sir?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You perceive that I am a stranger, then?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the man, as he cracked his whip and drove his lumbering coach
-      straight at an orifice between two cabs just wide enough, it seemed to me,
-      for a wheelbarrow, &ldquo;I'm a observer, I am. When I sees that speckled tie
-      droopin' from a collar of unknown horigin, and them rum kind of boots, I
-      says to myself a Rooshian, for 'alf a sovereign. Come from Rooshia, sir?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The man's naïveté delighted me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I belong to an allied power,&rdquo; I replied, wondering if his powers of
-      observation would enable him to decide my nationality now.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He seemed to debate the question as, with an apropos greeting to each
-      cabman, his 'bus bumped them to the side and sailed down the middle of the
-      street.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Native o' Manchuria, perhaps?&rdquo; he hazarded.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not quite; try again.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Siberia?&rdquo; he suggested next.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Seeing that either his imagination or my appearance confined his
-      speculations to Asia, I told him forthwith that I was French.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;French?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Well, now I'm surprised to 'ear it, sir. If you'll
-      excuse me saying so, you don't look like no Frenchman.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I always thought they was little chaps, no bigger than a monkey. Why,
-      you're quite as tall as most Englishmen.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Considering that my friend could not possibly have measured more than five
-      feet, two inches, and that I am five feet, nine inches, in my socks, I was
-      highly diverted by this.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you seen many Frenchmen?&rdquo; I asked him. &ldquo;I knew one once,&rdquo; he
-      replied, after a minute or two's thought, and a brief interruption to
-      invite some ladies on the pavement to enter his 'bus. &ldquo;'E was a waiter at
-      the Bull's 'Ead, 'Ighbury. I drove a 'bus that way then, and there was a
-      young lady served in the bar 'im and me was both sweet on. Nasty, greasy
-      little man 'e was&mdash;meaning no reflection on you, sir. They couldn't
-      make out where the fresh butter went, and when 'e left&mdash;which 'e 'ad
-      to for kissing the missis when she wasn't 'erself, 'aving 'ad a drop more
-      than 'er usual&mdash;do you know what they found, sir?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I confessed my inability to guess this secret. &ldquo;Why, 'e'd put it all on
-      'is beastly 'air, two pounds a week, sir, of the very best fresh butter in
-      'Ighbury. Perhaps, sir, I've been prejudiced against Frenchmen in
-      consequence.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I admitted that he had every excuse, and asked him whether my buttered
-      compatriot had won the maiden's affections in addition to his other
-      offences.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;I'm 'appy to say she 'ad more sense. More sense than
-      to take either of us,&rdquo; he added, with a deep sigh, and then, as if to
-      quench melancholy reflections, hailed another driver who was passing us in
-      the most hilarious fashion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Old your 'at on, ole man!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Them opera-'ats is getting
-      scarce, you know!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0026" id="linkimage-0026"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8076.jpg" alt="8076 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8076.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      The other driver, a bottle-nosed man, redeemed only from unusual
-      shabbiness by the head-gear in question, winked, leered, and made some
-      reply about &ldquo;not 'aving such a fat head underneath it as some people.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      My friend turned to me with a confidential air. &ldquo;You saw that gentleman as
-      I addressed?&rdquo; he said, in an impressive voice. &ldquo;Well, that man was driving
-      'is own kerridge not five years ago. On the Stock Exchange 'e was, and
-      worth ten thousand a year if 'e was worth a penny; 'ouse in Park Lane, and
-      married to the daughter of a baronite. 'E's told me all that 'isself, so
-      it's true and no 'umbug.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Ow did 'e lose 'is money? Hunfortunit speculations and consols goin'
-      down; but you, being a furriner, won't likely understand.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Looking as unsophisticated as possible, I pressed my friend for an
-      explanation of these mysteries.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0027" id="linkimage-0027"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9077.jpg" alt="9077 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9077.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;it's something like this: If you goes on the Stock
-      Exchange you buys what they calls consols&mdash;that's stocks and shares
-      of various sorts and kinds, but principally mines in Australia, and
-      inventions for to make things different from what they is at present.
-      That's what's called makin' a corner, which ain't a corner exactly in the
-      usual sense&mdash;not as used in England, that's to say, but a kind o'
-      American variety.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What, O Bill! Bloomin', thank you. 'Ow's yourself?&rdquo; (This to another
-      driver passed upon the road.)
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As I was savin', sir, this 'ere pore friend o' mine speculated in
-      consols, and prices being what they calls up, and then shiftin', he loses
-      and the bank wins. Inside o' twenty-four hours that there gentleman was
-      changed from one of the richest men in the city into a pore cove a-looking
-      out for a job like you and me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And he chose driving an omnibus?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;'Adn't got no choice. He was
-      too much of a gentleman to sink to a ordinary perfession, and drivin' a
-      pair o' 'orses seems to 'im more in keepin' with 'is position than drivin'
-      one 'orse in a cab, which was the only thing left.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He paused, and then shaking his head with an air of sentiment, continued:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Wunderful 'ow sensitive he is, sir. He wouldn't part with that there
-      hopera-'at, not if you give him five 'undred pounds; yet he can't a-bear
-      to 'ear it chipped, not except in a kind o' delicate way, same as I did
-      just now. You 'eard me, sir? 'Hop-era-'ats is scarce,' says I; but I
-      dursn't sail closer to the wind nor that. 'E'd say, &ldquo;Old your jaw,
-      Halfred,' or words to that effec', quick enough. Comes o' being bred too
-      fine for the job, I tells 'im often; I says it to 'im straight, sir.'
-      Comes o' being bred too fine for the job,' says I.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this point my friend's attention was called from the romantic history
-      of his fellow-driver to the exigencies of their common profession, and I
-      had an opportunity of studying more attentively this entertaining specimen
-      of the cockney.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He was, as I have said, a very short man, from thirty to thirty-five years
-      of age, I judged, redcheeked and snub-nosed, with a bright, cheerful eye,
-      and the most friendly and patronizing manner. Yet he was perfectly
-      respectful and civil, despite his knowledge of my unfortunate nationality.
-      In fact, it seemed his object to place me as far as possible at my ease,
-      and enable me to forget for a space the blot upon my origin.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;There's some quite clever Frenchmen, I' ve 'eard tell,&rdquo; he said,
-      presently. &ldquo;That there 'idro-phobia man&mdash;and Napoleon Bonyparty, in
-      his way, too, I suppose, though we don't think so much of 'im over 'ere.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am sorry to hear that, I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;we believes in a man 'aving his fair share of
-      what's goin'. Like as if me and a friend goes inter a public 'ouse, and
-      another gentleman he comes in and he says, 'What's it going to be this
-      time?' or, 'Name your gargle, gents,' or words to some such effec'; and we
-      says, 'Right you are, old man,' and 'as a drink at his expense. Now it
-      wouldn't be fair if I says to the young lady, 'I'll 'ave a 'ole bottle of
-      Scotch whiskey, miss, and what I can't drink I'll take 'ome in a
-      noospaper,' and I leaves 'im to pay for all that; would it, sir? Well,
-      that's what Bonyparty done; 'e tried to get more nor his share o' what was
-      goin' in Europe. Not that it affec's us much, we being able to take care
-      of ourselves, but we don't like to see it, sir. That's 'ow it is.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      All this time we had been going eastward into the city of London, and now
-      we were arrived at the most extraordinary scene of confusion you can
-      possibly imagine. I should be afraid to say how many 'buses and cabs were
-      struggling and surging in a small open space at the junction of several
-      streets. Foot-passengers in hundreds bustled along the pavements or dodged
-      between the horses, and, immobile in the midst of it, the inevitable
-      policeman appeared actually to be sifting this mob according to some
-      mysterious scheme.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Cheer-O,&rdquo; cried my friend upon the box. &ldquo;'Ow's the price o' lime-juice
-      this morning?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That there's wot we calls the Bank, sir, where the Queen keeps 'er money,
-      and the Rothschilds and the like o' them; guarded by seven 'undred of the
-      flower o' the British army, it is, the hofficer bein' hinvariably a
-      millionaire hisself, in case he's tempted to steal. Garn yerself and git
-      yer face syringed with a fire-'ose. You can't clean it no 'ow else. The
-      'andsome hedifice to your right, sir, is the Mansion 'Ouse; not the
-      station of that name, but the 'ome of the Lord Mayor; kind o' governor of
-      the city, 'e is; 'as a hextraordinary show of 'is own on taking the hoath
-      of hofflce; people comes all the way from Halgiers and San Francisco to
-      see it; camels and 'orses got up like chargers of the holden time, and men
-      disguised so as their own girls wouldn't know 'em. Representing harts,
-      hindustries, and hempire, that's their game. Pleeceman, them there
-      bloomin' whiskers of yours will get mowed off by a four-wheel cab some
-      day, and then 'ow'll you look? Too bloomin' funny, am I? More'n them
-      whiskers is, hinterfering with the traffic like that.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir, we 'as a rest 'ere for a few minutes; we ain't near at the end
-      yet, though.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0028" id="linkimage-0028"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9081.jpg" alt="9081 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9081.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      I shall leave it to your judgment to guess which of these remarks were
-      addressed to me and which to various of his countrymen in this vortex of
-      wheels and human beings. For a few minutes he now sat at ease in a quieter
-      street (though, my faith! no street in this city of London but would seem
-      busy in most towns), apparently deliberating what topic to enter upon
-      next. I say apparently deliberating, but on further acquaintance with my
-      good &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; as he called himself (the aspirated form of &ldquo;Alfred&rdquo; used
-      by the cockney Alfred being the name of England's famous monarch), I came
-      to the conclusion that his mind never was known to go through any such
-      process. What came first into his head flew straight to his tongue, till
-      by constant use that organ had got into a state of unstable equilibrium,
-      like the tongue of a toy mandarin, that oscillates for five minutes if you
-      move him ever so gently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In a word, Halfred was an inveterate chatterbox.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Even had I been that very compatriot of mine who had so deeply, and, I
-      could not but admit, so justly, roused his ire, he would, I am sure, have
-      chattered just as hard.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      By the time we were under way again and threading the eastern alleys of
-      the city&mdash;for they are called streets only by courtesy&mdash;his
-      tongue had started too, and he was talking just as hard as ever. Now,
-      however, his conversation took a more reminiscent and a more personal
-      turn, and this led to such sweeping consequences that I shall keep the
-      last half of our journey together for a separate chapter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0029" id="linkimage-0029"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter VIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Your valet? Pardon; I thought he had come to measure the gas!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0030" id="linkimage-0030"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9083.jpg" alt="9083 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9083.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      UT of the limits of this city of Lon-don we drove into the beginnings of
-      the east. Not the Orient of the poet and the traveller, the land of the
-      thousand-and-one nights, but the miles and miles of brick where some
-      millions of Londoners pass an existence that ages me to think of. Picture
-      to yourself a life more desolate of joys than the Arctic, more crowded
-      with fellow-animals than any ant-heap, uglier than the Great Desert, as
-      poor and as diseased as Job. Not even the wealthy there to gossip about
-      and gape at, no great house to envy and admire, no glitter anywhere to
-      distract, except in the music-halls of an evening. Yet they work on and do
-      not hang themselves&mdash;poor devils!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But I grow serious where I had set out to be gay, and thoughtful when you
-      are asking for a somersault. Worse still, I am solemn, sitting at the
-      elbow of my cheerful Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      That genial driver of the omnibus was not one whit depressed upon coming
-      into this region, nor, to tell the truth, was I that morning, for I could
-      not see the backward parts, but only the wide main road, very airy after
-      the lanes of the city, and crowded with quite a different population. No
-      longer the business-man with shining hat, hands in pockets, quick step,
-      and anxious face; no longer the well-dressed woman hurrying likewise
-      through the throng; no longer the jingling hansom; but, instead, the
-      compatriot of the prophets, the costermonger with his barrow, the residue
-      of Hungary and Poland, the pipe of the British workman. Wains of hay in
-      the midst of the road, drays and lorries, and an occasional omnibus
-      jolting at the sides; to be sure there was life enough to look at.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As for my friend, his talk began to turn more upon his own private
-      affairs. Apparently there was less around to catch his attention, and, as
-      I have said, he had to talk, and so spoke of himself. As I sat on the top
-      of that 'bus listening with continuous amusement to his candid
-      reminiscences and naïve philosophy, I studied him more attentively than
-      ever, for, as you shall presently hear, I had more reason. His dress, I
-      noticed, was neat beyond the average of drivers; a coat of box-cloth, once
-      light yellow, now of various shades, but still quite respectable; a felt
-      hat with a flat top, glazed to throw off the rain; a colored scarf around
-      his neck, whether concealing a collar or not I could not say; and
-      something round his knees that might once have been a rug or a
-      horse-cloth, or even a piece of carpet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yus,&rdquo; said Halfred, meditatively, as he cracked his whip and urged his
-      'bus at headlong speed through a space in the traffic, &ldquo;it's some rum
-      changes o' luck I've 'ad in my day.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0031" id="linkimage-0031"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9085.jpg" alt="9085 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9085.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      My father he give me a surprisin' good eddication for a hembyro
-      'bus-driver, meaning me to go into the stevedore business in Lime-'ousc
-      basin, same as 'e was 'imself, but my 'ead got swelled a-talkin' to a most
-      superior policeman what 'ad come down in the world, and nothing would
-      sat-ersfy me but mixin' in 'igh life. So our rector 'e gives me a
-      introduction to a bloomin' aunt o' his in the country what wanted a boy in
-      buttons, and into buttons I goes, and I says to myself, says I, 'Halfred,
-      you're goin' to be a credit to your fam'ly, you are'; that's what I says.
-      Blimy, I often larf now a-thinkin' of it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He paused to blow his nose in a primitive but effective fashion, and
-      smiled gently to himself at these recollections of his youthful optimism.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How long did you remain in these buttons?&rdquo; I asked him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Till I outgrowed them,&rdquo; said Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And after that?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I was servant to a gentleman what hadvertised for a honest young man,
-      hexperience bein' no hobject.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I asked him how he liked that.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I was comfertable enough; that I can't deny,&rdquo; said Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And why, then, did you leave?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The heverlastin' reason w'y I does most foolish things, sir. My 'eart is
-      too suscepterble, and the ladies'-maid was too captivatin'. She wouldn't
-      'ave nothin' to do with me, so I chucks the 'ole thing up, and, says I,
-      'I'll be hinderpendent, I will.' 'Ence I'm a-drivin' a 'bus.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you happy now?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said he, candidly, &ldquo;I couldn't say as I was exactly '<i>umped</i>;
-      but it ain't all bottled beer sittin' in this bloomin' arm-chair with your
-      whiskers froze stiff, and the 'orses' ears out o' sight in the fog. And
-      there ain't much variety in it, nor much chance of becomin' a millionaire.
-      Hoften and hoften I thinks to myself, 'What O for a pair o' trousers to
-      fold, and a good fire in the servants' 'all, and hinderpendence be
-      blowed!'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0032" id="linkimage-0032"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9087.jpg" alt="9087 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9087.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      I think it was at this moment that an inspiration came into my head. It
-      was rash, you will doubtless think.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I 'ope so, sir,&rdquo; said he, with becoming modesty and evident surprise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now you are experienced?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you've 'ad threepence worth o' this 'ere 'bus, and
-      you 'aven't seed me scrape off no paint yet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But, I mean, you are experienced in folding trousers, in packing shirts,
-      in varnishing boots, in all the niceties of your old profession, are you
-      not? You would do credit to a gentleman if he should engage you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      It was certainly sudden, but then, as perhaps you have discovered ere now,
-      I am not the most prudent of men. This little, cheerful Halfred had taken
-      my fancy enormously, and my heart was warmed towards him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I asked, abruptly, &ldquo;are you still an honest young man?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Halfred looked at me sharply, with a true cockney's suspicion of what he
-      feared might be &ldquo;chaff.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You ain't a-pulling my leg, sir?&rdquo; he inquired, guardedly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On the contrary, I am taking your hand as an honest and experienced
-      valet, Halfred.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You knows of a gentleman as wants one?&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; I answered, with conviction.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It ain't yourself, sir?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is,&rdquo; said I.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Blimy!&rdquo; exclaimed Halfred, in an audible aside.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What about references?&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, references; yes, I suppose you had better have some references,&rdquo; I
-      replied, though, to tell the truth, I had not thought of them before.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand and screwed his rosy face
-      into a deliberative expression, while his eyes twinkled cheerfully.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't mind 'aving a go at the job,&rdquo; he remarked, after a couple of
-      minutes' reflection.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Apply this evening,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Bring a reference if you have one, and I
-      shall engage you, Halfred!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For the rest of our journey together his gratitude and pleasure, his
-      curiosity, and his qualms as to how much he remembered and how much he had
-      forgotten of a man-servant's duties, delighted me still further, and made
-      me congratulate myself upon my discrimination and judgment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We parted company among the docks and shipping of the very far east of
-      London, and after rambling for a time by the busy wharves and breezy
-      harbor basins, and, marvelling again at the vastness and variety of this
-      city, I mounted another omnibus and drove back to my rooms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A man to see you, sir,&rdquo; said the maid.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Could it be Halfred, already? No, it was a very different individual; a
-      tall and stately man, with a prim mouth and an eye of unfathomable
-      discretion. He stood in an attitude denoting at once respect for me and
-      esteem for himself, and followed me to my room upon a gently creaking
-      boot.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said I, at a loss to know whether he came to collect a tax or
-      induce me to order a coffin, &ldquo;what can I do for you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mr. Lumme, sir,&rdquo; said he, in a mincing voice, &ldquo;has informed me that you
-      was requiring a manservant. Enclosed you will find Air. Lumme's
-      recommendation.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He handed me a letter which ran as follows:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Dear Monsieur,&mdash;I have found the very man you want. He was valet
-      to Lord Pluckham for five years, and could not have learned more from any
-      one. Pluck-ham was very particular as to dress, and had many affairs
-      requiring a discreet servant. He only left when P. went bankrupt, and has
-      had excellent experience since. Been witness in two divorce cases, and is
-      highly recommended by all; also a primitive Wesleyan by religion, and well
-      educated. You cannot find a better man in London, nor as good, I assure
-      you. His name is John Mingle. Don't lose this chance. I have had some
-      trouble, but am glad to have found the very article.</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>&ldquo;Yours truly,</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>&ldquo;Edward Lumme.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This was a pretty dilemma! The industrious and obliging Lumme had found
-      one jewel, and in the meanwhile I had engaged another. I felt so
-      ungrateful and guilty that I was ashamed to let my good Teddy discover
-      what I had done. So instead of telling Mr. Mingle at once that the place
-      was filled, I resolved to find him deficient in some important point, and
-      decline to engage him on these grounds. Easier said than done.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your experience has been wide?&rdquo; I asked, looking critical and feeling
-      foolish.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If I may say so, sir, it has,&rdquo; said he, glancing down modestly at the hat
-      he held in his hands.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You can iron a hat?&rdquo; I inquired, casting round in my mind for some task
-      too heavy for this Hercules.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He smiled with, I thought, a little pity.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, certingly, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Can you cook?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have hitherto stayed at houses where separate cooks was kept,&rdquo; said he;
-      &ldquo;but if we should happen to be a-camping out in Norway, sir, there isn't
-      nothing but French pastry I won't be happy to oblige with&mdash;on a
-      occasion, that's to say, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Not only were Mr. Alingle's accomplishments comprehensive, but he
-      evidently looked upon himself as already engaged by me. Internally cursing
-      his impudence, I asked next if he could sew.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;At a pinch, sir,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;That is,&rdquo; he added, correcting this vulgar
-      expression, &ldquo;if the maids is indisposed, or like as if we was on board
-      your yacht, sir, and there was no hother alternative.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We&rdquo; again&mdash;and it seemed Mr. Alingle expected me to keep a yacht!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Could he load and clean a gun, saddle a horse, ride a bicycle, oil a
-      motor-car, read a cipher, and manage a camera? Yes; in the absence of the
-      various officials which &ldquo;our&rdquo; establishment maintained for these purposes,
-      Mr. Mlingle would be able and willing to oblige.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Moreover, he talked with a beautiful accent, and only very occasionally
-      misused an aspirate; and there could be no doubt he would make an
-      impressive appearance in any livery I could design. Even as a Pierrot he
-      would have looked dignified. On what pretext could I reject this paragon?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Can you drive an omnibus?&rdquo; I demanded, at last, with a flash of genius.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This time Mr. Alingle looked fairly disconcerted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Drive a homnibus!</i>&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;No, sir; my position and prospec's
-      have always been such that I am happy to say I have never had the
-      opportunity of practising.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0033" id="linkimage-0033"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9092.jpg" alt="9092 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9092.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      I shook my head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am afraid,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that you won't suit me, Mingle. It is my amusement
-      to keep a private omnibus.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, private,&rdquo; said Mr. Mingle, as though that might make a difference.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But quickly I added:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is painted and upholstered just like the others. In fact, I buy them
-      secondhand when beyond repair. Also I take poor people from the work-house
-      for a drive. And you must drive it in all weathers.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      That was the end of Mr. Mingle. In fact, I think he was glad to find
-      himself safely out of my room again, and what he thought of my tastes, and
-      even of my sanity, I think I can guess.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      That evening my friend Halfred appeared, bringing a testimonial to his
-      honesty and sobriety from the proprietor of the stables, and a brief line
-      of eulogy from the official who collected the pence and supplied the
-      tickets upon his own &ldquo;bus. This last certificate ran thus&mdash;I give it
-      exactly as it stood:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>certtifieing alfred Winkes is I of The best obligging and You will
-      find him kind to animils yours Sinseerly P. Widdup</i>.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As Halfred explained to me, this was entirely unsolicited, and Mr. Widdup,
-      he was sure, would feel hurt if he learned that it had not been presented.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You can tell him,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that it has secured the situation for you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I had just told him that I should expect him to begin his duties upon the
-      following morning, and he was inspecting my apartment with an air of great
-      interest and satisfaction, when there came a knock upon the door, and in
-      walked Sir. Teddy Lumme himself. He was in evening-dress, covered by the
-      most recent design in top-coats and the most spotless of white scarfs. On
-      his head he wore a large opera-hat, tilted at the same angle, and on his
-      feet small and shiny boots.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hullo,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Sorry; am I interrupting? Came to see if you'd booked
-      Mingle. I suppose you have.'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A thousand thanks, my friend, for your trouble.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I replied, with an earnestness proportionate to my feeling of compunction.
-      &ldquo;Mingle was, indeed, admirable&mdash;exquisite. In fact, he was perfect in
-      every respect save one.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What's that?&rdquo; said Teddy, looking a little surprised.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He could not drive an omnibus.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I am afraid my friend Teddy thought that I was joking. He certainly seemed
-      to have difficulty in finding a reply to this. Then an explanation struck
-      him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You mean what we call a coach,&rdquo; he suggested. &ldquo;Thing with four horses and
-      a toot-toot-toot business&mdash;post-horn, we call it. What?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I mean an omnibus,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;The elegant, the fascinating, British
-      'bus. And here I have found a man who can drive me. This is my new
-      servant, Halfred Winkles.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Lumme stared at him, as well he might, for my Halfred cut a very different
-      figure from the grave, polished, quietly attired Mingle. To produce the
-      very best impression possible, he had dressed himself in a suit of
-      conspicuously checkered cloth, very tight in the leg and wide at the foot,
-      and surmounted by a very bright-blue scarf tightly knotted round his neck.
-      In his button-hole was an artificial tulip, in his pocket a wonderful
-      red-and-yellow handkerchief. His ruddy face shone so brightly that I
-      shrewdly suspected his friend Wid-dup had scrubbed it with a handful of
-      straw, and he held in his hand, pressed against his breast, the same
-      shining waterproof hat beneath which he drove the 'bus.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Left your last place long?&rdquo; asked Lumme, of this apparition.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Gave 'em notice this arternoon, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who were you with?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0034" id="linkimage-0034"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9095.jpg" alt="9095 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9095.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;London General,&rdquo; replied Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I hope you'll turn out all right, and do my friend, the monsieur here,
-      credit.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As he turned to go he added to me, aside:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Rum-looking chap, he seems to me. Keep an eye on him, I'd advise you.
-      Personally, I'd have chosen Mingle, but o' course you know best.
-      Good-night.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And I was left with the faithful Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A London general?&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Sounds all right. He gave you a good
-      character, I sup&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I interposed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Lumme, dubiously,
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0035" id="linkimage-0035"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter IX
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>I often envy the snail. Mon Dieu, think of at ways travelling beneath
-      the comfortable roof of one's own house!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Maxime Argon.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0036" id="linkimage-0036"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9096.jpg" alt="9096 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9096.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ND now I must tell you something about my rooms, the little ledge in
-      London in which I rested, and flapped my wings and preened my feathers.
-      The door of the house rented by Mr. and Mrs. Titch, and disposed of
-      piece-meal to unmarried gentlemen, looked upon a very tiny square opening
-      off a busy street. But my two chambers were at the back, and from their
-      windows I saw nothing of square or street, or any house at all. The green
-      Hyde Park with its trees and grass, and the wide drive where carriages and
-      people aired themselves and lingered, that was what I saw; and often I
-      could fancy myself in the woods and the gardens about a certain house in
-      another land, and then I would shut my eyes and let the picture grow and
-      grow, till I could hear known voices and look upon old faces that perhaps
-      I should never again hear or see in any other fashion. Yes, the exile may
-      be very gay, and jingle the foreign coins in his pocket, and whistle the
-      airs of alien songs, and afterwards write humorously of his adventures;
-      but there are many moments when he and the canary in the cage are very
-      near together.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For myself, I am best, my friends say, when I am laughing at the world and
-      playing somewhat the buffoon. And, of course, I am naturally anxious to
-      appear at my best. Besides, I must confess that I do not think this world
-      is an affair to be treated with a too great gravity; not, at least, if one
-      can help it. Frequently it makes itself ridiculous even in the partial
-      eyes of its own inhabitants. How much more frequently if one could sit
-      outside&mdash;upon a passing shower, for instance&mdash;and see it as we
-      look upon a play? Ten to one, some of our most sententious friends would
-      seem no different from those amusing sparrows discussing the law of
-      property in a bread-crumb, or from my dog playing the solemn comedy of the
-      buried bone. Therefore I always think it safer to assume that there is
-      some unseen cynic, some creature in the fourth dimension, looking over my
-      shoulder as I write, and exclaiming, when I grow too sensible, &ldquo;Oh, the
-      wise fool!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet for all this excellent philosophy, and in spite of a most reasonable
-      desire to say those things that are instantly rewarded by a smile, rather
-      than those an audience receives in silence, and perhaps approves, perhaps
-      condemns&mdash;despite all this, the rubbing of the world upon a set of
-      nerves does not always make one merry; and in that humor I should
-      sometimes like to perpetrate a serious sentence. If ever I succumb to this
-      temptation of the writer's devil, please turn the page and do not linger
-      over the indiscretion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Therefore I shall pass quickly over the thin ice of sentiment, the days
-      when I felt lonely on my comfortable ledge, the hours I spent looking at
-      the fire. More amusing to tell you of the bright lining to my clouds; of
-      the sitting-room, for instance, low in the ceiling, commodious, and
-      shaped, I think, to fit the chimneys or the stairs or the water-butt
-      outside; at any rate, to suit something that required two unequal recesses
-      and three non-rectangular corners. It was on the ground-floor, and had two
-      French windows (of which the adjective cheered me, I think, as much as the
-      noun). These opened upon a little, stone-paved space, shaded by a high
-      tree in the park, and which I called my garden.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Rejecting some articles of my landlord's furniture as too splendid for an
-      untitled tenant&mdash;a plush-covered settee, for instance, and an
-      alabaster tea-table, adorned with cut-glass trophies from the drawing-room
-      of a bankrupt alderman&mdash;I replaced them by a bookcase, three
-      easy-chairs, and an inviting sofa of my own; I bought substitutes for the
-      engravings of &ldquo;The Child's First Prayer&rdquo; and &ldquo;The Last Kiss,&rdquo; and the
-      colored plates representing idyllic passages from the lives of honest
-      artisans, which had regaled my predecessor; I recurtained the dear French
-      windows.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Neither Mr. Titch nor his good wife entirely approved of these changes. In
-      fact, I suspect they would have given such a Goth notice to quit in a
-      month had it not been for the reflection that, after all, such
-      eccentricities were only to be expected of a foreigner. The English have a
-      most amusing contempt for the rest of mankind, accompanied by an equally
-      amusing toleration for the peculiarities that are naturaly associated with
-      such degenerates. The Chinese, I understand, have an equal national
-      modesty, but their contempt for the foreigner finds expression in a desire
-      to decapitate his mangled remains. John Bull, on the other hand, will not
-      only allow but expect you to walk upon your head, eat rats and mice,
-      maintain a staff of poisonous serpents, and even play the barrel-organ.
-      This goes to such a length that supposing you beat him at something he
-      most prides himself upon, such as rowing, boxing, or manufactures, he will
-      but smile and shake his head and say, &ldquo;These are, indeed, most remarkable
-      animals.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Mr. and Mrs. Titch were no exceptions to this rule, and I think that in
-      time they even came to have an affection for and a pride in their
-      preposterous tenant, much like an enthusiastic savant who handicaps
-      himself with a half-tamed cobra.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Mr. Titch was a little, gray-haired man, with a respectful manner overlaid
-      upon a consequential air. He had enjoyed varied experience as footman and
-      butler in several families of distinction, and my Halfred had been but a
-      short time in the house before he became tremendously impressed by Mr.
-      Titch's reminiscences of the great, and his vast knowledge of Halfred's
-      own profession.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Wonderful man, Mr. Titch, sir,&rdquo; he would say to me. &ldquo;What 'e don't know
-      about our Henglish haristocracy ain't worth knowing. You'd 'ardly believe
-      it, sir, but he seed the Dook of Balham puttin' his arm round Lady Sarah
-      Elcey's waist three months before their engagement was in the papers, and
-      the Dook 'e says to 'im, 'Titch,' says he, ''ere's a five-pun' note;
-      you're a man of discretion, you are, and what you sees you keeps to
-      yourself, don't you? I mean no 'arm,' he says. 'I'll hundertake to marry
-      the lady if you only gives me time.' And Mr. Titch, he lay low three 'ole
-      months a-knowing a secret like that.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Mr. Titch's caution and advice were certainly serviceable to Halfred, who
-      was rapidly becoming transformed from the cheerful 'bus-driver into the
-      obliging valet. Whether the world did not lose more than I gained by this
-      change I shall not undertake to say; but I can always console myself for
-      depriving society of a friend, and Halfred of his &ldquo;hinderpendence,&rdquo; by
-      picturing the little man, poorly protected by his nondescript rug, driving
-      his 'bus all day through the wind and the rain, he, at least, enjoyed the
-      transformation; and one result is worth a hundred admirable theories.
-      Besides, the virtues of Halfred remained the virtues of Halfred through
-      all the polishings of circumstances and Mr. Titch.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For the good Mrs. Titch, my discerning servant expressed a respect only a
-      shade less profound than his homage to her spouse. Now this excellent
-      lady, though motherly in appearance and wonderfully dignified in the black
-      silk in which she rustled to church of a Sunday, was not remarkable either
-      for acuteness of mind or that wide knowledge of the world enjoyed by Mr.
-      Titch. She knew little of the aristocracy except through his
-      reminiscences, though I am bound to say her respect for that august
-      institution was as profound as Major Pendennis himself could have desired.
-      Also her observations on that portion of the world she had met were
-      distinguished by an erroneous and solemn foolishness that cannot have
-      passed unnoticed by Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet he quoted and reverenced her with an inexplicable lack of
-      discrimination.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mrs. Titch is what I calls, sir, a genuwine lady in a 'umble sphere,&rdquo; he
-      once remarked to me. &ldquo;Her delicacy is surprisin'.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, there must be some mysterious glamour about these worthy people, and
-      this glamour I began to have dark suspicions was none other than Miss
-      Aramatilda Titch, daughter of the ex-butler and his genuine lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At first I saw this maiden seldom, and then only by glimpses. As more than
-      one of these revealed her in curl-papers, and as I do not appreciate woman
-      thus decked out, I paid her but little attention. But after a week or two
-      had passed I surprised her one afternoon conversing in my sitting-room
-      with the affable Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Miss Titch is a-lookin' to see if the windows want cleaning,&rdquo; he
-      explained. Though, as they were standing in the recess farthest removed
-      from the windows, I came to the conclusion that other matters also were
-      being discussed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was about this time that I had hired a piano to console my solitude,
-      and a day or two later, as I came towards my room, I heard a tinkle of
-      music. Pushing the door gently open, I saw Miss Aramatilda picking out the
-      air of a polka, and Halfred listening to this melody with the most
-      undisguised admiration.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This time his explanation was more lamely delivered, while Aramatilda
-      showed the liveliest confusion and dismay.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear Miss Titch,&rdquo; I assured her, &ldquo;by all means practise my piano while
-      I am out&mdash;provided, of course, that Mr. Winkles gives you permission.
-      She asked you, no doubt, if she might play it, Halfred?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This did not diminish their confusion, I am afraid, and after that their
-      concerts were better protected against surprise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Not that I should have objected very strongly to take Halfred's place as
-      audience one day, for these further opportunities of seeing Miss Titch
-      roused in me some sympathy with my valet. Aramatilda was undoubtedly
-      attractive with her hair freed from a too severe restraint, a plump,
-      brown-eyed young woman, smiling in the most engaging fashion when politely
-      addressed. Indeed, I should have addressed her more frequently had not
-      Halfred shown such evident interest in her himself. In these matters I
-      have always held it better that master and man should be separately
-      apportioned.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      There remains but one other inhabitant of this house who comes into my
-      story and that was a certain old gentleman living in the rooms immediately
-      over mine. In fact, we two were the only lodgers, and so, having few
-      friends as yet, I began to feel some interest in him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I had heard him referred to always as &ldquo;the General,&rdquo; and the few glimpses
-      I had had of him confirmed this title. Figure to yourself an erect man of
-      middle height, white-mustached, quick in his step, with an eye essentially
-      military&mdash;that is to say, expressionless in repose, keen when aroused&mdash;and
-      do you not allow that, if he is not a general, he at least ought to be?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is this general?&rdquo; I asked Halfred one day.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As rummy a old customer as ever was, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred. &ldquo;Been here for
-      three years and never 'ad a visitor inside his room all that time,
-      exceptin' one lady.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A lady?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;His&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't know, sir. Some says one thing, some says another. Kind o' a
-      hexotic, I calls 'im, sir. Miss Titch she thinks he's 'ad a affair of the
-      'eart; I think he booses same as a old pal o' mine what kept a chemist's
-      shop in Stepney used to. My friend he locks 'isself up in the back room
-      and puts away morphine and nicotine and strychnine and them things by the
-      'alf-pint. 'Ole days at it he were, sir, and all the time the small boys
-      a-sneak-ing cough-drops, and tooth-brushes for to make feathers for their
-      'ats when playin' at soldiers, and when the doctor he sees 'im at last he
-      says nothing but a hepileptic 'ome wouldn't do 'im any good.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You think, then, the General drinks?&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Either that or makes counterfeit coins, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, with an
-      ominous shake of his bullet head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I was quite aware of my Halfred's partiality for the melodramatic.
-      Nevertheless there was certainly something unusual in my neighbor's
-      conduct that excited my interest considerably. For I confess I am one of
-      those who are apt to be blind towards the mysteries of the obvious and the
-      miracles of every day, and to revel in the romance of the singular.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0037" id="linkimage-0037"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter X
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Seek you wine or seek you maid at the journey's end?</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Give to me at every stage the welcome of a friend!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Cyd.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0038" id="linkimage-0038"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9106.jpg" alt="9106 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9106.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      O not think that all this time I had lost sight of my new friends, the
-      fair-haired Dick Shafthead and the genial Teddy Lumme. On the contrary,
-      we had had more than one merry night together, and exchanged not a few
-      confidences. Very soon after I was settled, Dick had come round to my
-      rooms and criticised everything, from Halfred to the curtains. His tastes
-      were a trifle too austere to altogether appreciate these latter rather
-      sumptuous hangings.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They'll do for waistcoats if you ever go on the music-hall stage,&rdquo; he
-      observed, sardonically. &ldquo;That's why you got 'em, perhaps?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The very reason, my friend,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I cannot afford to get both new
-      waistcoats and new curtains; just as I am compelled to employ the same
-      person to get me out of jail and criticise my furniture.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are too witty, mossyour.&rdquo; (He came as near the pronunciation of my
-      title as that.) &ldquo;You should write some of these things down before you
-      forget 'em.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;For the French,&rdquo; I retorted, &ldquo;that precaution is unnecessary.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For Halfred, I am sorry to say, he did not at first show that appreciation
-      I had expected.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your 'bus-man,&rdquo; was the epithet he applied behind his back; though I am
-      bound to say his good-breeding made him so polite that Halfred, on his
-      side, conceived the highest opinion of my friend.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A real gentleman, Mr. Shafthead is, sir,&rdquo; he confided to me. &ldquo;What I
-      calls a hunmistakable toff. He hasn't got no side on, and he speaks to one
-      man like as he would to another. In fact, sir, he reminds me of Lord
-      Haugustus I once seed at the Hadelphi; a nobleman what said, 'I treats
-      hevery fellow-Briton as a gentleman so long as Britannia rules the waves
-      and 'e behaves 'isself accordingly.'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This may seem exaggerated praise, but, indeed, it would be difficult to
-      exaggerate my dear Dick's virtues. Doubtless his faults are being placed
-      in the opposite page of a ledger kept somewhere with his name upon the
-      cover; but that is no business of mine. To paste in parallel columns the
-      virtues of our friends and the faults of ourselves, that may be
-      unpleasant, but it is necessary if we are to turn the search-light inward.
-      Certain weak spots we must not look at too closely if we are to keep our
-      self-respect; but, my faith! we can well give the most of our humanity an
-      airing now and then; also, if possible, a fumigating. It was Dick
-      Shafthead, more than any other, who took my failings for a walk in the
-      sunshine, and somehow or other they always returned a little abashed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A very different person was his cousin Teddy Lumme, for whom, by-the-way,
-      I discovered Dick had a real regard carefully concealed behind a most
-      satirical attitude. Teddy was not clever&mdash;though shrewd enough within
-      strict limits; he was no moralist, no philosopher; <i>an observer chiefly
-      of the things least worth observing</i>&mdash;a performer upon the
-      tin-whistle of life. But, owing to his kindness of heart and ingenuous
-      disposition, he was wonderfully likable.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      His leisure moments were devoted, I believe, to the discharge of some duty
-      in the foreign office, though what precisely it was I could never, even by
-      the most ingenious cross-examination, discover. His father held the
-      respectable position of Bishop of Battersea; his mother was the Honorable
-      Mrs. Lumme. These excellent parents had a high regard for Teddy, whom they
-      considered likely to make his mark in the world.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I was taken to the bishopric (sic), and discussed with the most venerable
-      Lumme, senior, many points of interest to a foreigner.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Note of a conversation with Bishop of Battersea, taken down from memory a
-      few days after: <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;What is the difference between a High
-      Church and a Low Church?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;A High Church has a high conception of its duties towards
-      mankind, religion, the apostolic succession, and the costume of its
-      clergymen. A Low Church has the opposite.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;Are you Low Church?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;I understand that the conversion of the Pope is one of
-      your objects. Is that so?&rdquo; <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;Should the Pope approach us in
-      a proper spirit we should certainly be willing to admit him into our
-      fold.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;Have you written many theological works?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;I believe tea is ready.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Afterwards further discussion on tithes, doctrine, and the Thirty-nine
-      Articles, of which I forget the details.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My friend Teddy did not live at the bishopric with his parents, but in
-      exceedingly well-appointed chambers near St. James Street. Here I met
-      various other young gentlemen of fortune and promise, who discussed with
-      me many questions of international interest&mdash;such as the price of
-      champagne in foreign hotels, the status of the music-hall artiste at home
-      and abroad, the best knot for the full-dress tie, and so forth.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick Shafthead did not often appear in this company.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Can't afford their amusements, and can't be bothered with their
-      conversation,&rdquo; he explained to me. &ldquo;Look in and have a pipe this evening
-      if you're doing nothing else. If you want cigars, bring your own; I've run
-      out.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And, after all, learning to perform upon the briar-pipe in Dick's society
-      under the old roof of the Temple, applauding or disapproving of our elders
-      and our betters, had infinitely more charm to me than those intellectual
-      conclaves at his cousin's, for six nights in the week at least. A
-      different mood, a different friend. Sometimes one desires in a companion
-      congenial depravity; at others, more points of contact.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This Temple where Dick lived is not a church, though there is a church
-      within it. It is one of those surprising secrets that London keeps and
-      shows you sometimes to reconcile you to her fogs. Out of the heart of the
-      traffic and the noise you turn through an ancient archway into a rabbit
-      warren of venerable and sober red buildings; each court and passage tidy,
-      sedate, and, if I may say it of a personage of brick, thoughtful and
-      kindly disposed to its inhabitants. This is the Temple, once the home of
-      the Knight Templars, now of English law. In one court Dick shared with a
-      friend an austerely furnished office where he received such work as the
-      solicitors sent him, and was ready to receive more. But it was on the top
-      flight of another staircase in another court-yard that he kept his
-      household gods.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He had come there, as I have said before, during a period of financial
-      depression, and there he had stayed ever since. I do not wonder at it;
-      though, to be sure, I think I should find it rather solitary of an
-      evening, when the offices emptied, silence fell upon the stairs and the
-      quadrangles, and there were only left in the whole vast warren the
-      sprinkling of permanent inhabitants who dwelt under the slates. Yet there
-      was I know not quite what about those old rooms, an aroma of the past, a
-      link with romance, that made them lovable. The panelled walls, the
-      undulating floors, the odd angle which held the fireplace, the beam across
-      the ceiling, the old furniture to match these, all had character; and to
-      what but character do we link sentiment?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Also the prospect from the windows was delightful; an open court, a few
-      trees, the angles of other ancient buildings, a glimpse of green turf in a
-      garden, a peep of more stems and branches, with the Thames beyond. Yes, it
-      was quite the neighborhood for a romantic episode to happen. And one day,
-      as you shall hear in time, it happened.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0039" id="linkimage-0039"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XI
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>And then I came to another castle where lived a giant whose name was
-      John Bull.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Maundeville (adapted).
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0040" id="linkimage-0040"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9112.jpg" alt="9112 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9112.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;O you dance?&rdquo; asked Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All night, if you will play to me,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ride?&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On a horse? Yes, my friend, I can even ride a horse.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, then, I say, d'you care to come to a ball at Seneschal Court, the
-      Trevor-Hudson's place; meet next day, and that sort of thing? Dick and I
-      are going. We'll be there about a week.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I do not know the&mdash;the very excellent people you have named.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, that's all right,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;They want a man or two. So few men
-      dance nowadays, don't you know. I keep it up myself a little; girls get
-      sick if I don't hop round with 'em now and then. Hullo, I see you've got a
-      card from my mater, for the twenty-ninth. Don't go, whatever you do. Sure
-      to be dull. The mater's shows always are. What did you think of that girl
-      the other night? Ha, ha! Told you so; I know all about women. What's this
-      book you're reading? French, by Jove! Pretty stiff, isn't it? Oh, o'
-      course you are French, aren't you? That makes a difference, I suppose.
-      Well, then, you'll come with us. Thursday, first. I'll let you know the
-      train.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I bring my Halfred?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Rather. Looks well to have a man with you. I'd bring mine, only he makes
-      a fuss if he can't have a bedroom looking south, and one can't insist on
-      people giving him that. Au revoir, mos-soo.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This was on Monday, so I had but little time for preparation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Halfred was at once taken into consultation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am going to hunt,&rdquo; I said; &ldquo;also to a ball; and you are coming with me.
-      Prepare me for the ballroom and the chase. What do I require beyond the
-      things I already have?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A pink coat and a 'ard 'at, sir,&rdquo; said he, with great confidence.
-      &ldquo;Likewise top-boots and white gloves for to dance in, not forgettin' a
-      pair o' spurs and a whip.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall get the hat, the coat, and the boots. Gloves I have already. You
-      will buy me the spurs and the whip. By-the-way, have you ever hunted,
-      Halfred?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not exactly 'unted myself, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;but I've seed the 'unt go by,
-      and knowed a lot o' 'unting-men. Then, bein' connected with hosses so much
-      myself I've naterally took a hinterest in the turf and the racin'-stable.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0041" id="linkimage-0041"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0114.jpg" alt="0114m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0114.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are a judge of horses?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir, I am generally considered to know something about 'em. In
-      fact, sir, Mr. Widdup&mdash;that's the gentleman what give me the
-      testimonial&mdash;he's said to me more nor once, 'Halfred,' says he, 'what
-      you don't know about these 'ere hanimals would go into a pill-box
-      comfertable.'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Find me two hunters that I can hire for a week.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The little man looked me up and down with a discriminating eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Something that can carry a bit o' weight, sir, and stand a lot o' 'ard
-      riding; that's what you need, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Now, I am not heavy, nor had circumstances hitherto given me the
-      opportunity of riding excessively hard, but the notion that I was indeed a
-      gigantic Nimrod tempted my fancy, and I am ashamed to confess that I fell.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0042" id="linkimage-0042"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0115.jpg" alt="0115m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0115.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that is exactly what I require.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Leave it to me, sir,&rdquo; he assured me, with great confidence. &ldquo;I'll make
-      hall the arrangements.&rdquo; My mind was now easy, and for the two following
-      days I studied all the English novels treating of field sports, and the
-      articles on hunting in the encyclopaedias and almanacs, so that when
-      Thursday arrived and I met my friends at the station I felt myself
-      qualified to take part with some assurance in their arguments on the
-      chase. We are a receptive race, we French, and the few accomplishments we
-      have not actually created we can at least quickly comprehend and master.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Next door to us, in a second-class compartment, Halfred was travelling,
-      and attached to our train was the horse-box containing the two hunters he
-      had engaged. I had had one look at these, and certainly there seemed to be
-      no lack of bone and muscle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mr. Widdup and me 'ired 'em, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, &ldquo;from a particular
-      friend o' ours what can be trusted. Jumps like fleas, they do, he says,
-      and 'as been known to run for sixty-five miles without stoppin' more'n
-      once or twice for a drink. 'Ard in the mouth and 'igh in the temper, says
-      he, but the very thing for a gentleman in good 'ealth what doesn't 'unt
-      regular and likes 'is money's worth when he does.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have exactly described me,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But if I had the advantage over my two friends in the suite I was taking
-      with me, Teddy Lumme certainly led the way in conversation. He was vastly
-      impressed with the importance of our party (a sentiment he succeeded in
-      communicating to the guard and the other officials); also with the
-      respectability of the function we were going to attend, and with the
-      inferiority of other travellers on that railway. This air of triumphal
-      progress or coronation procession was still further increased by the
-      indefatigable attentions of Halfred, who at every station ran to our
-      carriage door, touched his hat, and made inquiries concerning our comfort
-      and safety; so that more than once a loyal cheer was raised as the train
-      steamed out again, and Dick even declared that at an important junction he
-      perceived the Lord Alayor's daughter approaching with a basket of flowers.
-      Unfortunately, however, she did not reach our carriage in time.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0043" id="linkimage-0043"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0117.jpg" alt="0117m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0117.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      The glories of this pageant he was partaking in filled Teddy's mind with
-      reminiscences of other scenes where he had played an equally distinguished
-      part.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I remember one day with the Quorn last year,&rdquo; he remarked. &ldquo;Devil of a
-      run we had; seventy-five minutes without a check. When we'd killed, I said
-      to a man, 'Got anything to drink?' It was Pluckham. You know Lord
-      Pluckham, Dick?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;His bankruptcy case went through our chambers,&rdquo; said Dick, dryly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dashed hard lines that was,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;He's a good chap, is Pluckham;
-      kept the best whiskey in England. By Jove! I never had a drink like that.
-      A man needs one after riding with the Quorn.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And Teddy puffed his cigar and chewed the cud of that proud moment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where are our horses, Teddy?&rdquo; asked Dick. &ldquo;Coming down by a special
-      train?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, they are mounting me,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Trevor-Hudson always keeps a
-      couple of his best for me. What are you doing?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Following on a bicycle,&rdquo; replied Dick. &ldquo;My five grooms and six horses
-      haven't turned up.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear Shafthead,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;I shall lend you one of mine.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Many thanks,&rdquo; he answered, with gratitude, no doubt, but with less
-      enthusiasm than I should have expected. &ldquo;Unfortunately I've seen 'em.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And do you not care to ride them?&rdquo; I asked, with some disappointment, I
-      confess.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not alone,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;If you'll lend me Halfred to sit behind and keep
-      the beast steady I don't mind trying.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I said, with a shrug.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This strain of a brutality that is peculiarly British occasionally
-      disfigures my dear Dick. Yet I continue to love him&mdash;judge, then, of
-      his virtues.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are they good fencers?&rdquo; asked Lumme.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have not yet seen them with the foils,&rdquo; I replied, smiling politely at
-      what seemed a foolish joke.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;do they take their jumps well?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I laughed. &ldquo;Yes, I am told they are excellent&mdash;if the wall
-      is not too high. We shall not find them more than six feet?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But I was assured that obstacles of more than this elevation would not be
-      met frequently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do they take water all right?&rdquo; asked the inquisitive Teddy again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Both that and corn,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But Halfred will attend to these
-      matters.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      English humor is peculiar. I had not meant to make a jest, yet I was
-      applauded for this simple answer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tell me what to look for in my hosts,&rdquo; I said to Dick, presently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Money and money's worth,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What we call the nouveau riche?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On the contrary, what is called a long pedigree, nowadays&mdash;two
-      generations of squires, two of captains of industry (I think that is the
-      proper term), and before that the imagination of the Herald's Office.
-      There is also a pretty daughter&mdash;isn't there, Teddy?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Quite a nice little thing,&rdquo; said Lumme, graciously.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I thought you rather fancied her.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm off women at present,&rdquo; the venerable <i>roué</i> declared.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick's grin at hearing this sentiment was more eloquent than any comment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But now we had reached our destination. Halfred and a very stately
-      footman, assisted by the station-master, the ticket-collector, and all the
-      porters, transferred our luggage to a handsome private omnibus; then,
-      Halfred having arranged that the horses should be taken to stables in the
-      village (since my host's were full), we all bowled off between the
-      hedge-rows.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was a beautiful October evening, still clear overhead and red in the
-      west; the plumage of the trees had just begun to turn a russet brown; the
-      air was very fresh after the streets of London; our horses rattled at a
-      most exhilarating pace.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My faith,&rdquo; I exclaimed, &ldquo;this is next to heaven! I shall be buried in the
-      country.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Those hunters of yours ought to manage it for you,&rdquo; observed Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet I forgave him again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We turned through an imposing gateway, and now we were in a wide and
-      charming English park. Undulating turf and stately trees spread all round
-      us and ended only in the dusk of the evening; a herd of deer galloped from
-      our path; rooks cawed in the branches overhead; a gorgeous pheasant ran
-      for shelter towards a thicket. Then, on one side, came an ivy-covered wall
-      over whose top high, dark evergreens stood up like Ethiopian giants.
-      Evidently these were the gardens, and in a moment more we were before the
-      house itself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As I went from the carriage to the door I had just time and light to see
-      that it was a very great mansion, not old, apparently, but tempered enough
-      by time to inspire a kindly feeling of respect. A high tower rose over the
-      door, and along the front, on either side, creepers climbed between the
-      windows, and these gave an impression at once of stateliness and home.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      By the aid of two servants, who were nearly as tall as the tower, we were
-      led first through an ample vestibule adorned with a warlike array of
-      spears. These, I was informed, belonged to the body-guard of my host when
-      he was high sheriff of his county, and this explanation, though it took
-      from them the romance of antiquity, gave me, nevertheless, a pleasanter
-      sensation than if they had been brandished at Flodden. They were a relic
-      not of a dead but a living feudalism, a symbol that a sovereign still
-      ruled this land. And this reminded me of the reason I was here and the
-      cause for which I still hoped to fight; and for a moment it saddened me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But again I commit the crime of being serious; also the still less
-      pardonable offence of leaving my two friends standing outside the doors of
-      the hall.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Hastily I rejoin them; the doors open, a buzz of talk within suddenly
-      subsides, and we march across the hall in single file to greet our host
-      and hostess. What I see during this brief procession is a wide and high
-      room, a gallery running round it, a great fireplace at the farther end,
-      and a company of nearly twenty people sitting or standing near the fire
-      and engaged in the consumption of tea and the English crumpet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I am presented, received in a very off-hand fashion, told to help myself
-      to tea and crumpet, and then left to my own devices. Lumme and Shafthead
-      each find an acquaintance to speak to, my host and hostess turn to their
-      other guests, and, with melted butter oozing from my crumpet into my tea,
-      I do my best to appear oblivious of the glances which I feel are being
-      directed at me. I look irresolutely towards my hostess. She is faded,
-      affected, and talkative; but her talk is not for me, and, in fact, she has
-      already turned her back. And my host? He is indeed looking at me fixedly
-      out of a somewhat bloodshot eye, while he stuffs tea-cake into a capacious
-      mouth; but when I meet his gaze, he averts his eyes. A cheerful couple; a
-      kindly reception! &ldquo;What does it mean?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I ask myself. &ldquo;Has Lumme exceeded his powers in bringing me here?&rdquo; I
-      remember that at his instigation Mrs. Trevor-Hudson sent me a brief note
-      of invitation, but possibly she repented afterwards. Or is my appearance
-      so unpleasant? In France, I tell myself, it was not generally considered
-      repulsive. In fact, I can console myself with several instances to the
-      contrary but possibly English standards of taste are different.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At last I venture to accost a gentleman who, at the moment, is also
-      silent.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you also come from London?&rdquo; I ask.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I? No. Live near here,&rdquo; he says, and turns to resume his conversation
-      with a lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I am seriously thinking of taking my departure before there is any active
-      outbreak of hostilities, when I see a stout gentleman, with a very red
-      face, approaching me from the farther side of the fireplace. I have
-      noticed him staring at me with, it seemed, undisguised animosity, and I am
-      preparing the retort with which I shall answer his request to immediately
-      leave the house, when he remarks, in a bluff, cheerful voice, as he
-      advances: &ldquo;Bringin' your horses, I hear.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am, sir,&rdquo; I reply, in great surprise.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Lumme was tellin' me,&rdquo; he adds, genially. &ldquo;Ever hunted this country
-      before?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And in a moment I find myself engaged in a friendly conversation, which is
-      as suddenly interrupted by a very beautifully dressed apparition with a
-      very long mustache, who calls my short friend &ldquo;Sir Henry,&rdquo; and consults
-      him about an accident that has befallen his horse. But I began to see the
-      theory of this reception. It is an Englishman's idea of making you&mdash;and
-      himself&mdash;feel at home.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0044" id="linkimage-0044"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0124.jpg" alt="0124m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0124.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      You eat as much cake as you please, talk to anybody you please, remain
-      silent as long as you please, leave the company if you please and smoke a
-      pipe, and you are not interfered with by any one while doing these things.
-      To introduce you to somebody might bore you; you may not be a
-      conversationalist, and may prefer to stand and stare like a surfeited ox.
-      Well, if such are your tastes it would be interfering with the liberty of
-      the subject to cross them. What was the use of King John signing the Magna
-      Charta if an Englishman finds himself compelled to be agreeable?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This idea having dawned upon me and my courage returned, I cast my eyes
-      round the company, and selecting the prettiest girl made straight at her.
-      She received me with a smiling eye and the most delightful manner
-      possible, and as she talked and I looked more closely at her, I saw that
-      she was even fairer than I had thought.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Picture a slim figure, rather under middle height, a bright eye that
-      sparkled as though there was dew upon it, piquant little features that all
-      joined in a frequent and quite irresistible smile; and, finally, dress
-      this dainty demoiselle in the most fascinating costume you can imagine.
-      Need it be said that I was soon emboldened to talk quite frankly and
-      presently to ask her who some of the company were? &ldquo;Sir Henry&rdquo; turned out
-      to be Sir Henry Horley, a prosperous baronet, who scarcely ever left the
-      saddle; the gentleman with the long mustache, to be Lord Thane, an elder
-      son with political aspirations; while the man I had first accosted was no
-      less a person than Mr. H. Y. Tonks, the celebrated cricketer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now will you point out to me Miss Trevor-Hudson?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;I hear
-      she is very beautiful.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who told you that?&rdquo; she inquired, with a more charming smile than ever.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Her admirers,&rdquo; I answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The girl raised her eyebrows, shot me the archest glance in the world, and
-      pointing her finger to her own breast, said, simply:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;There she is.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I said to myself that though my friend Teddy Lumme was &ldquo;off women,&rdquo; I, at
-      any rate, was not.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0045" id="linkimage-0045"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Our language is needlessly complicated. Why, for instance, have two
-      such words as 'woman' and 'discord,' when one would serve?</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0046" id="linkimage-0046"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9127.jpg" alt="9127 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9127.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      RESENTLY the men retired to smoke, and for an hour or two I had to tear
-      myself from the smiles of Miss Trevor-Hudson.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The smoking-room opened into the billiard-room, and some played pool while
-      the rest of us sat about the fire and discussed agriculture, the
-      preservation of pheasants, and, principally, horses, hounds, and foxes. A
-      short fragment will show you the standard of eloquence to which we
-      attained. It is founded, I admit, more on imagination than memory, but is
-      sufficiently accurate for the purpose of illustration. As to who the
-      different speakers were you can please your fancy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Are your turnips large?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Not so devilish bad. Did you go to the meet on
-      Tuesday?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Yes, and I noticed Charley Tootle there.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Third Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Ridin' his bay horse or his black?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;The bay.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fourth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Oats make better feeding.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;My man prefers straw.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Did you fish this summer?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Third Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;No; I shot buffaloes instead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Where&mdash;Kamchatka or Japan?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Third Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Japan. Kamchatka's getting overshot.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;I am having it laid on.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;What system do you use?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the
-      conservatory cistern.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Sounds a devilish good notion.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Now, let me tell you my experience of those
-      self-lengthening stirrups.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;I am having it laid on.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;What system do you use?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the
-      conservatory cistern.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Sounds a devilish good notion.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Now, let me tell you my experience of those self-
-      lengthening stirrups.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And so on till the booming of a gong summoned us to dress for dinner.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Dick, as we went to our rooms, &ldquo;you looked as though your
-      mind was being improved.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is trying to become adjusted,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      On our way we passed along the gallery overlooking the hall, and suddenly
-      I was struck by the contrast between this house and its inhabitants: on
-      the one hand the splendid proportions and dignity of this great hall, dark
-      under the oak beams of the roof, fire-light and lamp-light falling below
-      upon polished floor and carpets of the East; the library lined with what
-      was best in English literature, the walls with the worthiest in English
-      art; on the other, my heavy-eyed host full of port and prejudices, and as
-      meshed about by unimaginative limitations as any strawberry-bed. Possibly
-      I am too foreign, and only see the surface, but then how is one to suspect
-      a gold-mine beneath a vegetable garden?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At dinner I found myself seated between Lady Thane and Miss Rosalie
-      Horley. Lady Thane, wife to the nobleman with the long mustache, had an
-      attractive face, but took herself seriously. In man this is dangerous, in
-      woman fatal. I turned to my other neighbor and partially obtained my
-      consolation there. She was young, highly colored, hearty, and ingenuous,
-      and proved so appreciative a listener as nearly to suffocate herself with
-      an oyster-paté when I told her how I had burgled Fisher. The remainder of
-      my consolation I obtained from the prospect, directly opposite, of Miss
-      Trevor-Hudson. She was sitting next to Teddy Lumme, and if it had not been
-      for his express declaration to the contrary I should have said he was far
-      from insusceptible to her charms. Yet, since I knew his real sentiments, I
-      did not hesitate to distract her glance when possible.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      After dinner a great bustling among the ladies, a great putting on of
-      overcoats and lighting of cigars among the men, and then we all embarked
-      in an immense omnibus and clattered off to the ball. This dance was being
-      held in the county town some miles away, so that for more than half an
-      hour I sat between Dick and Teddy on a seat behind the driver's, my cigar
-      between my teeth, a very excellent dinner beneath my overcoat, and my
-      heart as light as a sparrow's. On either side the rays of our lamps danced
-      like fire-flies along the woods and hedge-rows, but my fancy seemed to run
-      still faster than these meteor companions, and already I pictured myself
-      claiming six dances from Miss Trevor-Hudson.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But now other lights began to appear, twinkling through trees before us,
-      and presently we were clattering up the high street of the market-town.
-      Other carriages were already congregated about the assembly rooms at the
-      Checkered Boar, a crowd of spectators had gathered before the door to
-      stare at visions of lace and jewelry, the strains of the band came through
-      an open window, and altogether there was an air of revelry that I suppose
-      only visited the little borough once a year. Inside the doors, waiters
-      with shining heads and ruddy faces waved us on up and down stairs and
-      along passages, where, at intervals, we met other guests as resplendent as
-      ourselves, till at last we reached the ballroom itself. This was a long,
-      low room with a shining floor, an old-fashioned wall-paper decorated with
-      a pattern of pink roses, and a great blaze of candles to light it up. It
-      was evident that many generations of squires must have danced beneath
-      those candles and between the rose-covered walls, and this suggestion of
-      old-worldness had a singularly pleasant flavor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In a recess about the middle of the room the orchestra were tuning up for
-      another waltz; at one end the more important families were assembling; at
-      the other, the lesser. Need I say that we joined the former group?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In English country dances it usually is the custom to have programmes on
-      which you write the names of your partners for the evening. I now looked
-      round to secure one particular partner, but she was not to be seen. The
-      waltz had begun; I scanned the dancers. There was Shafthead tearing round
-      with Miss Horley, his athletic figure moving well, his good features lit
-      by a smile he could assume most agreeably when on his best behavior. There
-      was the stout Sir Henry revolving with the more deliberate pomp of sixty
-      summers. But where were the bright eyes? Suddenly I spied the skirt of a
-      light-blue dress through the opening of a doorway. I rushed for it, and
-      there, out in the passage, was the misogamist Lumme evidently entreating
-      Miss Trevor-Hudson for more dances than she was willing to surrender. For
-      her sake this must be stopped.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have come to make a modest request,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Will you give me a dance&mdash;or
-      possibly two?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With the sweetest air she took her programme from the disconcerted, and I
-      do not think very amiable, Teddy, and handed it to me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have taken three, seven, and fourteen,&rdquo; I said, giving it back to her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fourteen is mine,&rdquo; cried Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not now, I said, smiling.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I had booked it,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your name was not there,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And now, Miss Hudson, if you are
-      not dancing this dance will you finish it with me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She took my arm, and the baffled despiser of women was left in the
-      passage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This may sound hard treatment to be dealt out to a friend, and, indeed, I
-      fear that though outwardly calm, and even polite to exaggeration, my
-      indignation had somewhat run away with me. Had I any excuse? Yes; two eyes
-      that, as I have said, were bright as the dew, and a smile not to be
-      resisted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She danced divinely, she let me clasp her hand tenderly yet firmly, and
-      she smiled at me when she was dancing with others. I noticed once or twice
-      when we danced together that Lumme also smiled at her, but I was convinced
-      she did not reply to this. In fact, his whole conduct seemed to me merely
-      presumptuous and impertinent. How mine seemed to him I cannot tell you.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0047" id="linkimage-0047"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0133.jpg" alt="0133m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0133.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      He had secured the advantage of engaging several dances before I had time
-      to interfere, and also possessed one other&mdash;a scarlet evening-coat,
-      the uniform of the hunt. But I glanced in the mirror, and said to myself
-      that I did not grudge him this adornment, while as for my fewer number of
-      dances, I found my partner quite willing to allow me others to which I was
-      not legally entitled. In this way I obtained number thirteen, to the
-      detriment of Mr. Tonks, and was just prepared to embark upon number
-      fourteen when Lumme approached us with an air I did not approve of.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;This is my dance,&rdquo; he said, in a manner inexcusable in the presence of a
-      lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;It is mine.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Miss Hudson looked from one to the other of us with a delightfully
-      perplexed expression, but, I fear, with a little wickedness in her brown
-      eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What am I to do?&rdquo; she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is my dance,&rdquo; repeated Teddy, glaring fixedly at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and offered her my arm to lead her away.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am sorry, Mr. Lumme,&rdquo; said the cause of this strife, sweetly, &ldquo;but I am
-      afraid Mr. D'Haricot's name is on my programme.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Teddy made a tragic bow that would have done credit to a dyspeptic frog,
-      and I danced off with my prize. At the end of the waltz he came up to me
-      with a carefully concocted sneer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You know how to sneak dances, moshyour,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;Do you do
-      everything else as well?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I kept my temper and replied, suavely, &ldquo;Yes, I shoot tolerably with the
-      pistol, and can use the foils.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Like your cab-horses?&rdquo; sneered Teddy, taking no notice, however, of the
-      implied invitation to console himself if aggrieved. &ldquo;I'm keen to see how
-      long you stick on top of those beasts.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good, my friend,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I take that as a challenge to ride a race.
-      We shall see to-morrow who first catches the fox!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0048" id="linkimage-0048"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>With his horse and his hounds in the morning!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;English Ballad.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0049" id="linkimage-0049"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9136.jpg" alt="9136 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9136.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HEN I awoke next morning, my first thoughts were of a pair of brown eyes,
-      dainty features that smiled up at me, and a voice that whispered as we
-      danced for the last time together, &ldquo;No, I shall not forget you when you
-      are gone.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Then, quickly, I remembered the sport before me, and the challenge to ride
-      to the death with the rival who had crossed my path.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The little man looked up from the pile of clothes he was folding in the
-      early morning light, and stopped the gentle hissing that accompanied, and
-      doubtless lightened, every task.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fasten my spurs on firmly,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I shall ride hard to-day.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He cannot have noticed the grave note in my voice, for he replied, in his
-      customary cheerful fashion, &ldquo;If hevervthing sticks on as well as the
-      spurs, sir, you won't 'ave nothin' to complain of.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall ride very hard, Halfred.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Arder nor usual, sir?&rdquo; he asked, with a look of greater interest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0050" id="linkimage-0050"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0137.jpg" alt="0137m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0137.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Vastly, immeasurably!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What's hup, sir?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in some concern now.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have made a little bet with Mr. Lumme,&rdquo; I answered in a serious voice,
-      &ldquo;a small wager that I shall be the first to catch the fox. If you can make
-      a suggestion that may help me to win, I shall be happy to listen to it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Catch the fox, sir?&rdquo; he repeated, thoughtfully, scratching his head.
-      &ldquo;Well, sir, it seems to me there's nothin' for it but starting hoff first
-      and not lettin' 'im catch you up. I 'aven't 'unted myself, sir, but I've
-      'eard tell as 'ow a sharp gent sometimes spots the fox afore any of the
-      hothers. That's 'ow to do it, in my opinion.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I thought this over and the scheme seemed excellent.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We shall arrange it thus,&rdquo; I said: &ldquo;You will mount one horse and I the
-      other. We shall ride together and look for the fox.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Conceive of my servant's delight. I do not believe that if I had offered
-      him a hundred pounds he would have felt so much joy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I dressed myself with the most scrupulous accuracy, for I was resolved
-      that nothing about me should suggest the novice. My pink coat fitted to
-      within half a little wrinkle in an inconspicuous place, my breeches were a
-      miracle of sartorial art, the reflection from my top-boots perceptibly
-      lightened the room. No one at the breakfast-table cut more dash. I had
-      secured a seat beside Miss Trevor-Hudson and we jested together with a
-      friendliness that must have disturbed Lumme, for he watched us furtively,
-      with a dark look on his face, and never addressed a word to a soul all the
-      time.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall expect you to give me a lead to-day,&rdquo; she said to me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you well mounted?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am riding my favorite gray.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ride hard, then,&rdquo; I said, loud enough for Lumme to hear me. &ldquo;The lead I
-      give will be a fast one!&rdquo; Before breakfast was over we had been joined by
-      guest after guest who had come for the meet. Outside the house carriages
-      and dog-carts, spectators on foot, grooms with horses, and sportsmen who
-      had already breakfasted were assembled in dozens, and the crowd was
-      growing greater every moment. I adjusted my shining hat upon my head and
-      went out to look for Halfred. There he was, the centre evidently of
-      considerable interest and admiration, perched high upon one of the
-      gigantic and noble quadrupeds, and grasping the other by the reins. His
-      livery of deep-plum color, relieved by yellow cording, easily
-      distinguished him from all other grooms, while my two steeds appeared
-      scarcely to be able to restrain their generous impatience, for it required
-      three villagers at the head of each to control their exhilaration.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I congratulate you,&rdquo; I said to my servant. &ldquo;The <i>tout ensemble</i> is
-      excellent.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At that moment his mount began to plunge like a ship at sea, and the
-      little man went up and down at such a rate that he could only gasp:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Old 'im, you there chaw-bacons! 'Old 'im tight! 'E won't 'urt you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      In response to this petition the villagers leaped out of range and uttered
-      incomprehensible sounds, much to my amusement. This, however, was quickly
-      changed to concern when I observed my own steed suddenly stand upon end
-      and flourish his fore-legs like a heraldic emblem.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have overfed them with oats,&rdquo; I said to Halfred, severely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0051" id="linkimage-0051"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0140.jpg" alt="0140m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0140.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oats be&mdash;&rdquo; he began, and then pitched on to the mane, &ldquo;oats be&mdash;&rdquo;
-       and here he just clutched the saddle in time to save himself from retiring
-      over the tail&mdash;&ldquo;oats be blowed!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It ain't oats that's the matter with 'em,&rdquo; said a bluff voice behind me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I turned and saw Sir Henry looking with an experienced eye at this
-      performance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is it?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Vice,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;I know that fiddle-headed brute well; no mistakin' him.
-      It's the beast that broke poor Oswald's neck last season. His widow sold
-      him to a dealer at Rugby for fifteen pounds, and, by Jove! here he is
-      again, just waitin' for a chance to break yours!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He turned his critical eye to Halfred's refractory steed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I think I remember that dancin' stallion, too,&rdquo; he added, grimly.
-      &ldquo;Gad! you'll have some fun to-day, monsieur!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This was cheerful, but there was no getting out of it now. Indeed, the
-      huntsman and the pack were already leading the way to the first covert and
-      everybody was on the move behind them. I mounted my homicide during one of
-      its calmer intervals, the villagers bolted out of the way, and in a moment
-      we were clearing a course through the throng like a charge of cavalry.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Steady there, steady!&rdquo; bawled the master of the hunt. &ldquo;Keep back, will
-      you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With some difficulty I managed to take my mount plunging and sidling out
-      to where Halfred was galloping in circles at a little distance from the
-      rest of the field.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where are the hounds?&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Where is the fox?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In among them trees,&rdquo; replied Halfred, as we galloped together towards
-      the master.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let us go after them!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Lumme waits behind with the others.
-      Now is our chance!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come on, sir!&rdquo; said Halfred, and we dashed past the master at a pace that
-      scarcely gave us time to hear the encouraging cry with which he greeted
-      us.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The wood was small, but the trees were densely packed, and it was only by
-      the most miraculous good luck, aided also by skilful management, that we
-      avoided injury from the branches. Somewhere before us we could hear the
-      baying of the hounds, and we directed our course accordingly. Suddenly
-      there arose a louder clamor and we caught a glimpse of white and tan forms
-      leaping towards us. But we scarcely noticed these, for at that same
-      instant we had espied a small, brown animal slipping away almost under our
-      horses' feet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The fox!&rdquo; cried Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The fox!&rdquo; I shouted, bending forward and aiming a blow at it with my
-      whip.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With a loud cheer we turned and burst through the covert in hot pursuit,
-      and, easily out-distancing the 'hounds, broke into the open with nothing
-      before us but Reynard himself. Figure to yourself the sensation!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0052" id="linkimage-0052"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0143.jpg" alt="0143m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0143.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Ah, that I could inoculate you with some potent fluid that should set your
-      blood on fire and make you feel the intoxication of that chase as you read
-      my poor, bald words! Over a fence we went and descended on the other side,
-      myself hatless, Halfred no longer perched upon the saddle, but clinging
-      manfully to the more forward portions of his steed. Then, through a wide
-      field of grass we tore. This field was lined all down the farther side by
-      a hedge of thorns quite forty feet high, which the English call a
-      &ldquo;bulrush.&rdquo; At one corner I observed a gate, and having never before
-      charged such a barrier, I endeavored to direct my horse towards this. But
-      no! He had seen the fox go through the hedge, and I believe he was
-      inspired by as eager a desire to catch it as I was myself. I shut my eyes,
-      I lowered my head, I felt my cheek torn by something sharp and heard a
-      great crash of breaking branches, and then, behold! I was on the farther
-      side! My spurs had instinctively been driven harder into my horse's flank,
-      and though I had long since dropped my whip, they proved sufficient to
-      encourage him to still greater exertions.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Finding that he was capable of directing his course unassisted, and
-      perceiving also that he had taken the bit so firmly between his teeth as
-      to preclude the possibility of my guiding him with any certainty, I
-      discarded the reins (which of course were now unnecessary), and confined
-      my attention to seeing that he should not be hampered by my slipping on my
-      saddle. One brief glance over my shoulder showed me his stable companion
-      following hard, in spite of the inconvenience of having to support his
-      rider up on his neck, and racing alongside came the foremost hounds.
-      Behind the pack were scattered in a long procession pink coats and
-      galloping horses, dark habits and more galloping horses. I tried to pick
-      out my rival, but at that instant my horse rose to another fence and my
-      attention was distracted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Another field, this time ploughed, and a stiffer job now for my good
-      horse. Yet he would certainly have overtaken our quarry in a few minutes
-      longer had he selected that part of the next fence I wished him to jump.
-      But, alas! he must take it at its highest, and the ploughed field had
-      proved too exhausting. We rose, there was a crash, and I have a dim
-      recollection of wondering on which portion of my frame I should fall.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then I knew no more till I found myself in the arms of the faithful
-      Halfred, with neither horse, hounds, fox, nor huntsmen in sight.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did you catch it?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;but I give it a rare fright.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But I had scarcely heard these consoling words before I swooned again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0053" id="linkimage-0053"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XIV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>You feel yourself insulted? That is fortunate, for otherwise I should
-      have been compelled to!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0054" id="linkimage-0054"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9145.jpg" alt="9145 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9145.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ICTURE me now, stretched upon a sofa in the very charming morning-room of
-      Seneschal Court, a little bruised, a little shaken still, but making a
-      quick progress towards recovery. Exasperating, no doubt, to be inactive
-      and an invalid when others are well and spending the day in hunting and
-      shooting, but I had two consolations. First of all, Lumme had not beaten
-      me. He, too, had been dismounted a few fields farther on, and though he
-      had ridden farthest, yet I had gone fastest, and could fairly claim to
-      have at least divided the honors. But consolation number two would, I
-      think, have atoned even in the absence of consolation number one. In two
-      words, this comfort was my nurse. Yes, you can picture Amy Trevor-Hudson
-      sitting by the side of that sofa, intent upon a piece of fancy-work that
-      progresses at the rate of six stitches a day, yet not so intent as to be
-      unable to converse with her guest and patient.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are really feeling better to-day?&rdquo; she asks, with that sparkling
-      glance of her brown eyes that accompanies every word, however trivial.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thank you; I have eaten two eggs and a plate of bacon for breakfast, and
-      should doubtless be looking forward now to lunch if my thoughts were not
-      so much more pleasantly employed.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you thinking, then, that you will soon be well enough to go away?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am thinking,&rdquo; I reply, &ldquo;that for some days I shall still be invalid
-      enough to lie here and talk to you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She does not look up at this, but I can see a charming smile steal over
-      her face and stay there while I look at her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who did you say these things to last?&rdquo; she inquires, presently, still
-      looking at her work.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What things? That I am fond of luncheon&mdash;or that I am fond of you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I meant,&rdquo; she replies, looking at me this time with the archest glance,
-      &ldquo;what girl did you last tell that you were fond of her?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Now, honestly, I cannot answer this question off-hand with accuracy. I
-      should have to think, and that is not good for an invalid.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I cannot tell you, because I do not remember her.&rdquo; I reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She puts a wrong construction on this&mdash;as I had anticipated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't believe you,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I am sure you must have said these
-      things before.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you think my words are false, how can I help myself?&rdquo; I ask, with the
-      air of one impaled upon an ignited stake, yet resigned to this position.
-      &ldquo;I dare not dispute with you, even to save my character, for fear you
-      become angry and leave me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She smiles again, gives me another dazzling glance, and then, with the
-      elusiveness of woman, turns the subject to this wonderful piece of work
-      that she is doing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you think of this flower?&rdquo; she asks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      To obtain the critical reply she desires entails her coming to the side of
-      the couch and holding one edge of the work while I hold the other. Then I
-      endeavor to hold both edges and somehow find myself holding her hand as
-      well. It happens so naturally that she takes no notice of this occurrence
-      but stands there smiling down at me and talking of this flower while I
-      look up at her face and talk also of the flower. In fact, she seems first
-      conscious of that chance encounter of hands when a step is heard in the
-      passage. Then, indeed, she withdraws to her seat and the very faintest
-      rise in color might be distinguished by one who had acquired the habit of
-      looking at her closely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was Dick Shafthead who entered, in riding-breeches and top-boots. I may
-      say, by-the-way, that he had not been reduced to a bicycle. On the
-      contrary, he made an excellent display upon a horse for one who affected
-      to be too poor to ride.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My horse went lame,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;so I thought I'd come back and have a
-      look at the patient.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      From his look I could sec that he was unprepared to find me already
-      provided with a nurse. Not that it was the first time she had been here&mdash;but
-      then I did not happen to have mentioned that to Dick. In a few moments Amy
-      left us and he looked with a quizzical smile first at the door through
-      which she had gone and then at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You take it turn about, I see,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I didn't know the arrangement
-      or I shouldn't have interrupted.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I beg your pardon?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Either my head is still somewhat confused
-      or I do not understand English as well as I thought.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I imagined Teddy was having a walk-over,&rdquo; said he, with a laugh.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      None are so quick of apprehension as the jealous. Already a dark suspicion
-      smote me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you allude to Miss Trevor-Hudson?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who else?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And you thought Teddy was having what you call a walk-over?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;But it is none of my business.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is my business,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;to see that this charming lady does not
-      have her name associated with a man she only regards as the merest
-      acquaintance.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Has she told you that is how she looks on Teddy?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She has.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick laughed outright.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What are your hours?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;When does Miss Hudson visit the
-      sick-bed?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you must know,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;she has had the kindness to visit me every
-      morning; also in the evening.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then Teddy has the afternoons,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But he has been hunting.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He comes home after lunch, I notice,&rdquo; laughed Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I became angry.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you mean that Miss Hudson&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is an incorrigible flirt? Yes,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Shafthead, you go too far!&rdquo; I cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear monsieur, I withdraw and I apologize,&rdquo; he answers, with his most
-      disarming smile. &ldquo;Have it as you wish. Only&mdash;don't let her make a
-      fool of you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He turned and walked out of the room whistling, and I was left to digest
-      this dark thought.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Certainly it was true that I did not see much of her in the afternoons,
-      but then, I argued, she had doubtless household duties. Her mother was an
-      affected woman who loved posing as an invalid and had stayed in her room
-      ever since the ball. Therefore she had to entertain the guests; and, now I
-      came to think of it, Lumme would naturally press his suit whenever he saw
-      a chance, and how could she protect herself? Certainly she could never
-      compare that ridiculous little man with&mdash;well, with any one you
-      please. It was absurd! I laughed at the thought. Yet I became particularly
-      anxious to see her again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0055" id="linkimage-0055"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0150.jpg" alt="0150m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0150.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      In the evening she came for a few minutes to cheer my solitude. She could
-      not stay; yet she sat down. I must be very sensible; yet she listened to
-      my compliments with a smile. She was ravishing in her simple dress of
-      white, that cost, I should like to wager, some fabulous price in Paris;
-      she was charming; she was kind. Yes, she had been created to be a
-      temptation to man, like the diamonds in her hair; and she perfectly
-      understood her mission. Inevitably man must wish to play with her, to
-      caress her, to have her all to himself; and inevitably he must get into
-      that state when he is willing to pay any price for this possession. And
-      she was willing to make him&mdash;and not unwilling to make another pay
-      also. Indeed, I do not think she could conceivably have had too many
-      admirers.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But I did not criticise her thus philosophically that evening. Instead, I
-      said to her:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I was afraid I should not see you till to-morrow&mdash;and perhaps not
-      to-morrow.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not to-morrow?&rdquo; she asked. &ldquo;Are you going away, after all?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall be here; but you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I suppose I must visit my patient.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But if Mr. Lumme does not go hunting&mdash;will you then have time to
-      spare?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She rose and said, as if offended, &ldquo;I don't think you want to see me very
-      much.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet she did not go. On the contrary, she stood so close to me that I was
-      able to seize her hand and draw her towards me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, no!&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;Give me my turn!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your turn?&rdquo; she asked, drawing away a little.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes; what can I hope for but a brief turn? I am but one of your admirers,
-      and if you are kind to all&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I paused. She gave me a bright glance, a little smile that drove away all
-      prudence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Amy!&rdquo; I cried; &ldquo;I have something to give you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And I gave her&mdash;a kiss.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She protested, but not very stoutly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0056" id="linkimage-0056"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0152.jpg" alt="0152m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0152.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have something else,&rdquo; I said. And I was about to present her with a
-      very similar offering&mdash;indeed, I was almost in the act of
-      presentation, when she started from me with a cry of, &ldquo;Let me go!&rdquo; and
-      before I could detain her she had fled from the room. In her flight she
-      passed a man who was standing at the door, and it was he who spoke next.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You damned, scoundrelly frog-eater!&rdquo; he remarked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was the voice of my rival, Lumme!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, monsieur!&rdquo; I exclaimed, springing up. &ldquo;You have come to act the spy,
-      I see.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I haven't,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I came for Miss Hudson&mdash;and I came just in
-      time, too!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;not just; half a minute after.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You dirty, sneaky, French beast!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;I bring you to a decent
-      house&mdash;the first you've ever been to&mdash;and you go shamming * sick
-      to get a chance of insulting a virtuous girl!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Shamming!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Insulting! What words are these?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you mean to say you aren't shamming? You can walk as well as me!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-     * It is a legend among the English that we subsist
-     principally upon frogs.&mdash;-D'H.
-</pre>
-    <p>
-      Unquestionably I was more recovered than I had admitted to myself while
-      convalescence was so pleasant, and now I had risen from my couch I
-      discovered, to my surprise, that there seemed little the matter with me.
-      That, however, could not excuse the imputation. Besides, I had been
-      addressed by several epithets, each one of which conveyed an insult.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You vile, low, little English pig!&rdquo; I replied; &ldquo;you know the consequences
-      of your language, I suppose?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm glad to see it makes you sit up,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I advanced a step and struck him on the face, and then, seeing that he was
-      about to assault me with his fists, I laid him on the floor with a
-      well-directed kick on the chest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Now,&rdquo; I said, as he rose, &ldquo;will you fight, or are you afraid?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fight?&rdquo; he screamed. &ldquo;Yes; if you'll fight fair, you kicking froggy!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As to the weapons,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I am willing to leave that question in
-      the hands of our seconds&mdash;swords or pistols&mdash;it is all the same
-      to me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He looked for a moment a little taken aback by my readiness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I smiled, &ldquo;you do not enjoy the prospect very much?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you think I'm going to funk you with any dashed weapons, you are
-      mistaken,&rdquo; said Teddy, hotly. &ldquo;We don't fight like that in England, but I
-      won't stand upon that. My second is Dick Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I shall request Mr. Tonks to act for me,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;The sooner the
-      better, I presume?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To-morrow morning will suit me,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;I shall now send a note by my servant to Mr.
-      Tonks.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I bowed with scrupulous politeness, and he, with an endeavor to imitate
-      this courtesy, withdrew.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then I rang for Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0057" id="linkimage-0057"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>An animal I should define as a man who fights in a sensible way for a
-      reasonable end.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0058" id="linkimage-0058"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9156.jpg" alt="9156 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9156.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      XTRACT from my journal at this time:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Wednesday Night.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All is arranged. Tonks and Shafthead have endeavored to dissuade us, but
-      words have passed that cannot be overlooked, and Lumme is as resolute to
-      fight as I. I must do him that credit. At last, seeing that we are
-      determined, they have consented to act if we will leave all arrangements
-      in their hands. We are both of us willing, and all we know is that we meet
-      at daybreak to-morrow in a place to be selected by our seconds. Even the
-      weapons have not yet been decided. Should I fall and this writing pass
-      into the hands of others, I wish them to know that these two gentlemen,
-      Mr. La Rabide, Shafthead and Mr. Tonks, have done their best to procure a
-      bloodless issue. In these circumstances I also wish Mr. Lumme to know
-      that I fully forgive him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My will is now made, and Halfred is remembered in it. Another, too, will
-      not find herself forgotten. My watch and chain and my signet-ring I have
-      bequeathed to Amy. Farewell, dear maiden! Do not altogether forget me!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Halfred is perturbed, poor fellow, at the chance of losing a master whom,
-      I think, he has already learned to venerate. Yet he has a fine spirit, and
-      it is his chief regret that the etiquette of the duel will not permit him
-      to be a spectator.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Aim at 'is wind, sir,' he advised me. 'That oughter double 'im up if you
-      gets 'im fair. And perhaps, sir, if you was to give 'im the second barrel
-      somewhere about the point of 'is jaw, sir, things would be made more
-      certain-like.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'And what if he aims at these places himself?' I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Duck, sir, the minute you see 'im a-pulling of his trigger&mdash;like
-      this, sir.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He showed me how to 'duck' scientifically, and I gravely thanked him. I
-      had not the heart to tell how different are the fatal circumstances of the
-      duel, his devotion touched me so. I have told him to lay out my best dark
-      suit, a white shirt, my patent-leather boots, and a black tie that will
-      not make a mark for the bullet. He is engaged at present in packing the
-      rest of my things, for, whatever the issue, I cannot stay longer here.
-      Farewell again. Amy! Now I shall write to my friends in France, and warn
-      them of the possibilities that may arise. Then to bed!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I have given this extract at length, that it may be seen how grave we all
-      considered the situation, and also to disprove the common idea that
-      Englishmen do not regard the duel seriously. They are, however, a nation
-      of sportsmen, whose warfare is waged against the &ldquo;furs and feathers.&rdquo; and
-      the refinements of single combat practised elsewhere are little
-      appreciated, as will presently appear.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was scarcely yet daylight when I left my room, and with a little
-      difficulty made my way along dim corridors and down shadowy stairs to the
-      garden door, by which it had been decided we could most stealthily escape
-      to the rendezvous. Through the trimmed evergreens and the paths where the
-      leaf-fall of the night still lay unswept I picked my course upon a quiet
-      foot that left plain traces in the dew, but made no sound to rouse the
-      sleeping house. A wicket-gate led me out into the park, and there I
-      followed a path towards an oak paling that formed the boundary along that
-      side. At the end of this path a gate in the paling took me into a narrow
-      lane, and this gate was to be our rendezvous.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As I advanced, I saw between the trees a solitary figure leaning against
-      the paling, and I was assured that my adversary at least had not failed
-      me. Looking back, I next caught sight of the seconds following me, and I
-      delayed my steps so that I only reached Lumme a minute or so before them.
-      We raised our hats and bowed in silence. He looked pale, but I could not
-      deny that his expression was full of spirit, and I felt for him that
-      respect which a brave man always inspires in one of my martial race.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      His costume I certainly took exception to, for, instead of the decorous
-      garments called for by the occasion, he was attired in a light check suit,
-      with leather leggings and a pale-blue waistcoat, and, indeed, rather
-      suggested a morning's sport than the business we had come upon. This,
-      however, might be set down to his inexperience, and, as a matter of fact,
-      he was outdone by our seconds, for, in addition to wearing somewhat
-      similar clothes, they each carried a gun and a cartridge-bag. Evidently, I
-      thought, they had brought these to disarm suspicion in case the party were
-      observed. Their demeanor was beyond reproach, and, indeed, surprising,
-      considering that they had never before acted either as principals or
-      seconds. They raised their hats and bowed with formality.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good-morning, gentlemen,&rdquo; said Shafthead.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He took the lead throughout, my second, Tonks, concurring in everything he
-      said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You still wish to fight?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Lumme and I both bowed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You both refuse to settle your differences amicably?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I refuse,&rdquo; replied Lumme.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I, certainly,&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;it only remains to assure you that the loser will
-      be decently interred.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Here both he and Tonks were obviously affected by a very natural emotion;
-      with a distinct effort he cleared his throat and resumed:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And to tell you the conditions of the combat. Here are the weapons.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Conceive our astonishment when we were each solemnly handed a
-      double-barrelled shot-gun and a bagful of No. 5 cartridges! Even Lumme
-      recognized the unsuitability of these firearms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say, hang it!&rdquo; he exclaimed; &ldquo;I'm not going to fight with these!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tonks, I protest!&rdquo; I said, warmly. &ldquo;This is absurd.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Only things you're going to get,&rdquo; replied Tonks, stolidly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said Shafthead, with more courtesy, &ldquo;you have agreed to fight
-      in any method we decide. If you back out now we can only suppose that you
-      are afraid of getting hurt&mdash;and in that case why do you fight at
-      all?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All right, then,&rdquo; replied Lumme, with an <i>élan</i> I must give him
-      every credit for; &ldquo;I'm game.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I am in your hands,&rdquo; said I, with a shrug that was intended to
-      protest, not against the danger, but the absurdity of the weapons. &ldquo;At
-      what distance do we stand?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In that matter we propose to introduce another novelty&rdquo; replied Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To make it more sporting,&rdquo; explained Tonks. &ldquo;Just so,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;You
-      see that plantation? We are going to put one of you in one end and the
-      other in the other; you have each fifty cartridges, and you can fire as
-      soon as you meet and as often as you please. One of the seconds will
-      remain at either end to welcome the survivor.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, that's not a bad idea,&rdquo; said Lumme, brightening up.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I had my own opinion on this unheard-of innovation, but I kept it to
-      myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Now you toss for ends,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;Call.&rdquo; He spun a shilling, and Lumme
-      called &ldquo;Heads.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Heads it is,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;Which end?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It doesn't make much difference, I suppose,&rdquo; replied Teddy. &ldquo;I'll start
-      from this end.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Right you are,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Au revoir, monsieur. When you are ready to
-      enter the wood fire a cartridge to let us know. Here is an extra one I
-      have left for signalling.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I bowed and followed my second across the lane and through a narrow gate
-      in a high hedge that bounded the side farthest from the park. Lumme was
-      left with Shafthead in the lane to make his way to the nearest end of the
-      wood, so that I should see no more of him till we met gun to shoulder in
-      the thickets. I confess that at that moment I could think only of our past
-      friendship and his genial virtues, and it was with a great effort that I
-      forced myself to recall his insults and harden my heart.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We now walked down a long field shut in by trees on either hand. At the
-      farther end from the lane these plantations almost met, so that they and
-      the hedge enclosed the field all the way round except for one narrow gap.
-      Here Tonks stopped and turned.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You enter here,&rdquo; he said, indicating the wood on the right-hand side of
-      this gap, &ldquo;and you work your way back till you meet him. By-the-way, if
-      you happen to hear shots anywhere else pay no attention. The keeper often
-      comes out after rabbits in the early morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But if he hears us?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, we've made that right He knows we are out shooting. Good luck.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I would at least have clasped the hand of possibly the last man I should
-      ever talk with. I should have left some message, said something; but with
-      the phlegmatic coolness of his nation he had turned away before I had time
-      to reply. For a moment I watched him strolling nonchalantly from me with
-      his hands in his pockets, and then I fired my gun in the air and stepped
-      into the trees.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, it might be an unorthodox method of duelling, but there could be no
-      questioning the element of hazard and excitement. Here was I at one end of
-      a narrow belt of trees, not thirty yards wide and nearly a quarter of a
-      mile in length, and from the other came a man seeking my life. Every
-      moment must bring us nearer together, till before long each thicket, each
-      tree-stem, might conceal the muzzle of his gun. And the trees and
-      undergrowth were dense enough to afford shelter to a whole company.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Three plans only were possible. First, I might remain where I was and
-      trust to catching him unnerved, and perhaps careless, at the end of a long
-      and fruitless search. But this I dismissed at once as unworthy of a man of
-      spirit, and, indeed, impossible for my temperament. Secondly, I might
-      advance at an even pace and probably meet him about the middle. This also
-      I dismissed as being the procedure he would naturally expect me to adopt.
-      Finally, I might advance with alacrity and encounter him before I was
-      expected. And this was the scheme I adopted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At a good pace I pushed my way through the branches and the thorns,
-      wishing now, I must confess, that I had adopted a costume more suitable
-      for this kind of warfare, till I had turned the corner of the field and
-      advanced for a little distance up the long side. While I was walking down
-      with Tonks I had taken the precaution of noting a particularly large pine
-      which seemed as nearly as possible the half-way mark, but now a
-      disconcerting reflection struck me. That pine was, indeed, half-way down
-      the side of the field, but I had also had half of the end to traverse, so
-      that the point at which we should meet, going at a similar pace, would be
-      considerably nearer than I had calculated. Supposing, then, that Lumme was
-      also hastening to meet me, he might even now be close at hand! I crouched
-      behind a thorn-bush and listened.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was a still, delightful morning; the sun just risen; the air fresh; no
-      motion in the branches. Every little sound could be distinctly heard, and
-      presently I heard one; a something moving in another thicket not ten paces
-      away. I raised my gun, aimed carefully, and pulled the trigger.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The stealthy sound ceased, and instead a pheasant flew screaming out of
-      the wood. No longer could there be any doubt of my position. I executed a
-      strategic retreat for a short distance to upset my enemy's calculations
-      and waited for his approach. But I heard nothing except two or three shots
-      from the plantation across the field, where the keeper had evidently begun
-      his shooting. I advanced again, though more cautiously, but in a very
-      short time was brought to a sudden stand-still by a movement in a branch
-      overhead. The diabolical thought flashed through my mind, &ldquo;He is aiming at
-      me from a tree!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Instantly I raised my gun and discharged both barrels into the leaves.
-      There came down, not Lumme, but a squirrel; yet the incident inspired me
-      with an idea. I chose a suitable tree, and, having scrambled up with some
-      difficulty (which was not lessened by the thought that I might be shot in
-      the act), I waited for my rival to pass below.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0059" id="linkimage-0059"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0166.jpg" alt="0166m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0166.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Five minutes passed&mdash;ten&mdash;fifteen. I heard more shots from the
-      keeper's gun. I slew two foxes and a pheasant which were ill-advised
-      enough to make a suspicious stir in the undergrowth; but not a sign of
-      Lumme. I had not even heard him fire one shot since the duel began. Some
-      mystery here, evidently. Perhaps he was waiting patiently for me to
-      approach within a few paces of the lane whence he started. And I&mdash;should
-      I court his cartridges by falling into a trap I had thought of laying
-      myself?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet one of us must move, or we should be the laughing-stock of the
-      country-side, and if one of two must attack, the brave man can be in no
-      doubt as to which that is. I descended, and with infinite precautions
-      slowly pushed my way forward, raking with my shot every bush that might
-      conceal a foe. Suddenly between the trees I saw a man&mdash;undoubtedly a
-      man this time. I put my hand in my cartridge-bag. One cartridge remaining,
-      besides two in my chambers; three cartridges against a man who had still
-      left fifty! Yet three would be sufficient if I could but get them home.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Carefully I crept on my hands and knees to within a dozen paces; then I
-      raised my head, and behold! it was Tonks I saw standing in the lane
-      leaning against the paling of the park! But Lumme? Ah, I had it. He had
-      fled!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Shouldering my gun, I stepped out of the wood.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hillo!&rdquo; cried Tonks. &ldquo;Bagged him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Been hit?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;You look in rather a mess.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And indeed I did, for my clothes had been rent by the thorns, my face and
-      my hands torn, and doubtless I showed also some mental signs of the ordeal
-      I had been through. For remember that though I had not met an adversary, I
-      had braved the risk of it at every step. And I had made those steps.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I have not even been fired at.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I heard a regular cannonade,&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Forty-seven times have I fired at a venture,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;And I have not
-      been inaccurate in my aim. In that wood you will find the bodies of four
-      squirrels, five pheasants, and two foxes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But where is Lumme?&rdquo; he inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fled,&rdquo; I replied, with an intonation of contempt I could not conceal.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What! funked it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I saw no sign of him.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By Jove! that's bad,&rdquo; said Tonks, though in so matter-of-course a tone
-      that I was astonished. A man of a sluggish spirit, I fear, was my
-      cricketing second.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let us call Shafthead,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;For myself, my honor is satisfied, and I
-      shall leave him and you to deal with the runaway.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We walked together along the lane till we came to the gate in the hedge
-      through which we had started for the wood. Through this we could see right
-      down the field, and there, coming towards us, walked Shafthead and Lumme.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The devil!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By Jove!&rdquo; said Tonks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Can you explain this?&rdquo; I asked him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I? No; unless you passed each other.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Passed!&rdquo; I cried, scornfully.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I threw the gate open and advanced to meet them. To my surprise, Lumme
-      looked at me with no sign of shame, but rather with indignation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he cried to me, &ldquo;you're a fine man to fight a duel. Been in a
-      ditch?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Poltroon!&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Where did you hide yourself?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I hide?&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Where have you been hiding?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you mean to tell me that you men never met?&rdquo; asked Shafthead.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Never!&rdquo; we cried together.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tonks,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;into which plantation did you put your man?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The right-hand one,&rdquo; said Tonks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The right!&rdquo; exclaimed Dick. &ldquo;Then you have been in different woods! Oh,
-      Tonks, this is scandalous!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But my second had already turned his head away, and seemed so bowed by
-      contrition that my natural anger somewhat relented.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly your own directions were not clear,&rdquo; I suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;I see how it was! He must have turned round, and that
-      made his right hand his left.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Lumme, &ldquo;you've made a nice mess of it. What's to be done
-      now?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0060" id="linkimage-0060"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0169.jpg" alt="0169m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0169.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am in my second's hands,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I think you've fought enough,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;How many cartridges did
-      you fire, Lumme?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thirty-two,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, hang it, you've loosed seventy-nine cartridges between you, and
-      that's more than any other duellists I ever heard of. Let's pull up the
-      sticks * and come in to breakfast.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-<pre xml:space="preserve">
-     * &ldquo;Pull up sticks&rdquo;&mdash;a football metaphor.&mdash;D'H.
-</pre>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is honor satisfied?&rdquo; asked Dick, who had more appreciation of the
-      delicacies of such a sentiment than my prosaic second.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Lumme and I glanced at each other, and we remembered now our past
-      intimacy; also, perhaps, the strain of that fruitless search for each
-      other among those thorny woods.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mine is,&rdquo; said Lumme.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mine also,&rdquo; said I.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And thus ended what so nearly was a fatal encounter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0061" id="linkimage-0061"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XVI
-    </h2>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      &ldquo;Heed my words! Beware of women,
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      Shallowest when overbrimming
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      Deepest when they wish you well!
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      Tears and trifles, lace and laughter,
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      The Deuce alone knows what they're after&mdash;
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      And he's too much involved to tell.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p class="indent30">
-      &mdash;Anon.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0062" id="linkimage-0062"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9171.jpg" alt="9171 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9171.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      E all walked back from the field of battle in a highly amicable frame of
-      mind. Going across the park, Lumme and I fell a little behind our seconds
-      and conversed with the friendliness of two men who have learned to respect
-      each other. We had cordially shaken hands, we laughed, we even jested
-      about the hazards we had escaped&mdash;one would think that no more
-      complete understanding could be desired. Yet there was still a little
-      thorn pricking us both, a thorn that did not come from the woods in which
-      we had waged battle, but lived in the peaceful house before us. Our talk
-      flagged; we were silent. Then Teddy abruptly remarked:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say, I don't want to rake up by-gones and that sort of thing, don't you
-      know, but&mdash;er&mdash;you mustn't try to kiss her again, d'Haricot.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Try?&rdquo; I replied, a little nettled at this aspersion on my abilities. &ldquo;Why
-      not say, 'You must not kiss her again'?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By Jove! did you?&rdquo; cried Teddy, stopping.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I shrugged my shoulders.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear Lumme, the successful man is he who lies about himself and holds
-      his tongue about women.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Be hanged!&rdquo; he exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, why not be?&rdquo; I inquired, placidly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't believe it,&rdquo; he asserted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Continue a sceptic,&rdquo; I counselled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She told me she had never kissed any one else,&rdquo; he blurted out.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was now my turn to start.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Except whom?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Me&mdash;if you must know,&rdquo; said Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You kissed her?&rdquo; I cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, it doesn't matter to you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Nor does it matter to you that I did,&rdquo; I retorted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But did you?&rdquo; he asked, with such a painful look of inquiry that my
-      indignation melted into humor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I see it all now. She has deceived us both!
-      We are in the same ship, as you would say; two of those fools that women
-      make to pass a wet afternoon.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You mean that she has been flirting with me?&rdquo; he asked, with a woe-begone
-      countenance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Also with me,&rdquo; I answered, cheerfully. For a false woman, like spilled
-      cream, is not a matter worth lament.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall ask her,&rdquo; he said, after a minute or two.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you ever known a woman before?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I've known dozens of 'em,&rdquo; he replied, with some indignation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And yet you propose to ask one whether she has been true to you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why shouldn't I?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Because, my friend, you will receive such an answer as a minister gives
-      to a deputation.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But they might both tell the truth.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Neither ever lies,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Diplomacy and Eve were invented to
-      obviate the necessity'.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This aphorism appeared to give him some food for reflection&mdash;or
-      possibly he was merely silenced by a British disgust for anything that was
-      not the roast beef of conversation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We had come among the terraces and the trim yews and hollies of the
-      garden. The long west wing of Seneschal Court with the high tower above it
-      were close before us. Suddenly he stopped behind the shelter of a pruned
-      and castellated hedge, and, with the air of a lost traveller seeking for
-      guidance, asked me, &ldquo;I say, what are you going to do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Return to London this morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0063" id="linkimage-0063"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0174.jpg" alt="0174m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0174.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;For the same reason that I leave the table when dinner is over.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You won't see her again?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;See her? Yes, as I should see the remains of my meal were I to pass
-      through the diningroom. But I shall not sit down again.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I do not think Teddy quite appreciated this metaphor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't you think she is&mdash;&rdquo; he began, but had some difficulty in
-      finding a word.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well served?&rdquo; I suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Digestible, then? No, my friend. I do not think she is very digestible
-      either for you or for me. We get pains inside and little nourishment.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I like her awfully,&rdquo; said poor Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who would not?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;If a girl is beautiful, charming, not too
-      chary of her favors, and yet not inartistically lavish; if she knows how
-      to let a smile spring gently from an artless dimple, how to aim a bright
-      eye and shake a light curl; and if she is not too fully occupied with
-      others to spare one an hour or two of these charms, who would not like
-      her? Personally, I should adore her&mdash;while it lasted.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you really think she isn't all she seems?&rdquo; he asked, in a doleful
-      voice.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On the contrary, I think she is more; considerably more. My dear Lumme, I
-      have studied this girl dispassionately, critically, as I would a work of
-      art offered me for sale, and I pronounce my opinion in three words&mdash;she
-      is false! I counsel you, my friend, to leave with me this morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I should advise you to take this <i>gentleman's</i> advice,&rdquo;
-       exclaimed a voice behind us, in a tone that I cannot call friendly. We
-      turned, possibly with more precipitation than dignity, to see Miss Amy
-      herself within five paces of us. Evidently she had just appeared round
-      the edge of the castellated hedge, though how long she had been standing
-      on the other side I cannot pretend to guess. Long enough, at any rate, to
-      give her a very flushed face and an eye that sparkled more brightly than
-      ever. Indeed, I never saw her to more advantage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How dare you!&rdquo; she cried, tears threatening in her voice; &ldquo;how <i>dare</i>
-      you&mdash;talk of me so!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle&mdash;&rdquo; I began, with conciliatory humility.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't speak to me!&rdquo; she interrupted, and turned her brown eyes to Lumme.
-      Undoubted tears glistened in them now.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;So you have been listening to this&mdash;this <i>person's</i> slanders?
-      And you are going away now because you have learned that I am false? I
-      have been offered for sale like a work of art! He has studied me
-      dispassionately!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Here she gave me a look whose wrathful significance I will leave you to
-      imagine.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Go! Go with him! You may be sure that <i>I</i> sha'n't ask either of you
-      to stay!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Never had two men a better case against a woman, and never. I am sure,
-      have two men taken less advantage of it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Miss Hudson; I say&mdash;&rdquo; began poor Teddy, in the tone rather of the
-      condemned murderer than the inexorable judge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't answer me!&rdquo; she cried, and turned the eyes back to me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The tears still glistened, but anger shone through them.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As for you&mdash;You&mdash;you&mdash;<i>brute!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; I replied, in a reasonable tone, &ldquo;the conversation you
-      overheard was intended for another.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she exclaimed, &ldquo;while you are trying to force your odious
-      attentions on me, you are attacking me all the time behind my back.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Behind a hedge,&rdquo; I corrected, as pleasantly as possible.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But this did not appear to mollify her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You think every woman you meet is in love with you, I suppose,&rdquo; she
-      sneered. &ldquo;Well, you may be interested to know that we all think you simply
-      a ridiculous little Frenchman.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0064" id="linkimage-0064"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0178.jpg" alt="0178m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0178.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Little!&rdquo; I exclaimed, justly incensed at this unprovoked and untrue
-      attack. &ldquo;What do you then call my friend?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For Lumme was considerably smaller than I, and might indeed have been
-      termed short.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He knows what I think of him,&rdquo; she answered; and with this ambiguous
-      remark (accompanied by an equally ambiguous flash of her brown eyes at
-      Teddy), she turned scornfully and hurried to the house.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment we stood silent, looking somewhat foolishly at each other.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You've done it now,&rdquo; said Teddy, at length.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; I replied, my equanimity returning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I suppose I'll have to clear out too. Hang it, you needn't have got me
-      into a mess like this,&rdquo; said he, in an injured tone.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Better a mess than a snare,&rdquo; I retorted. &ldquo;Let us look up a good train,
-      eat some breakfast, and shake the dust of this house from our feet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He made no answer, and when we got to the house he tacitly agreed to
-      accompany Shafthead and myself by the 11.25 train.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My things were packed. Halfred and a footman were even piling them on the
-      carriage, and I was making my adieux, when I observed this dismissed
-      suitor enter the hall with his customary cheerful air and no sign of
-      departure about him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you ready? I asked him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They've asked me to stay till to-morrow,&rdquo; he replied, with a conscious
-      look he could not conceal, &ldquo;and&mdash;er&mdash;well, there's really no
-      necessity for going to-day. Good-bye&mdash;see you soon in town.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good-bye,&rdquo; said Amy, sweetly, but with a look in her eyes that belied her
-      voice. &ldquo;I am so glad we have been able to persuade <i>one</i> of you to
-      stay a little longer.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Better a little fish than an empty dish,&rdquo; I said to myself, and revolving
-      this useful maxim in my mind I departed from Seneschal Court.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0065" id="linkimage-0065"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0179.jpg" alt="0179m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0179.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0066" id="linkimage-0066"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XVII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>I tell thee in thine ear, he is a man 'Tis wiser thou shoutdst drink
-      with than affront!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Ben Verulam.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0067" id="linkimage-0067"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9180.jpg" alt="9180 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9180.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      UT what is in it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't know, sir,&rdquo; said Mr. Titch. I had just got back to my rooms and
-      stood facing a gigantic packing-case that had appeared in my absence. It
-      was labelled, &ldquo;For Mr. Balfour, care of M. d'Haricot. Not to be opened.&rdquo;
-       Not another word of explanation, not a letter, not a message, nothing to
-      throw light on the mystery. The three Titches and Halfred stood beside me
-      also gazing at this strange offering.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Could it be fruit, sir?&rdquo; suggested Mrs. Titch, in her foolishly wise
-      fashion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fruit!&rdquo; said Aramatilda, scornfully. &ldquo;It must weigh near on a ton.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You 'aven't ordered any furniture inadvertently, as it were, sir?&rdquo; asked
-      Halfred, scratching his head, sagely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If anybody has ordered this it is evidently Mr. Balfour,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is Mr. Balfour, sir?&rdquo; said Aramatilda.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you know?&rdquo; I asked Mr. Titch.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My landlord looked solemn, as he always did when speaking of the great.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;There is the Right Honorable Arthur Balfour, nephew to the Marquis&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, yes,&rdquo; I interrupted; &ldquo;but I do not think that admirable statesman
-      would confide his purchases to me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then, sir,&rdquo; said Mr. Titch, with an air of washing his hands of all
-      lesser personages, &ldquo;I give it up.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I wish you could,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;but I fear it must remain here for the
-      present.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      They left my room casting lingering glances at the monstrosity, and once I
-      was alone my curiosity quickly died away. I felt lonely and depressed.
-      Parting from a houseful of guests and the cheerful air of a country-house,
-      I realized how foreign, after all, this city was to me. I had
-      acquaintances; I could find my way through the streets; but what else? Ah,
-      if I were in Paris now! That name spelled Heaven as I said it over and
-      over to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I said it the oftener that I might not say &ldquo;woman.&rdquo; What mockery in that
-      word! Yet I felt that I must find relief. I opened my journal and this is
-      what I wrote:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.&mdash;Foolish friend, beware of those things
-      they call eyes, of that substance they term hair, of that abstraction
-      known as a smile, and, above all, beware of those twin lies styled lips.
-      They kiss but in the intervals of kissing others; they speak but to
-      deceive. Nevermore shall I regard a woman more seriously than I do this
-      pretty, revolving ring of cigarette smoke.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am twenty-five, and romance is over. Follow thou my counsel and my
-      example.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Outside it rained&mdash;hard, continuously, without room for a hope of
-      sunshine, as it only rains in England, I think. Perhaps I may be unjust,
-      but certainly never before have I been so wet through to the soul. I threw
-      down my pen, I went to the piano, and I began to play &ldquo;L'Air Bassinette&rdquo;
-       of Verdi. Gently at first I played, and then more loudly and yet more
-      loudly. So carried away was I that I began to sing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Now at last the rain is inaudible; my heart is growing light again, when
-      above my melody I hear a most determined knocking on the door. Before I
-      have time to rise, it opens, and there enters&mdash;my neighbor, the old
-      General. Is it that he loves music so much? No, I scarcely think so. His
-      face is not that of the ravished dolphin; on the contrary, his eyes are
-      bright with an emotion that is not pleasure, his face is brilliant with a
-      choleric flush. I turn and face him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pray do not stop your pandemonium on my account,&rdquo; he says, with sarcastic
-      politeness. &ldquo;I have endured it for half an hour, and I now purpose to
-      leave this house and not return till you are exhausted, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am obliged to you for your permission,&rdquo; I reply, with equal politeness,
-      &ldquo;and I shall now endeavor to win my bet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your bet, sir?&rdquo; he inquires, with scarcely stifled indignation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have made a bet that I shall play and sing for thirty-six consecutive
-      hours,&rdquo; I explain.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then, sir, I shall interdict you, as sure as there is law in England!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you now explained the object of this visit?&rdquo; I inquire.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir, I have not. I came in here to request you to make yourself
-      personally known to your disreputable confederates in order that they may
-      not mistake <i>me</i> for a damned Bulgarian anarchist&mdash;or whatever
-      your country and profession happen to be.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I ask <i>you</i> to explain this courteous yet ambiguous demand?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Certainly, sir; and I trust you may see fit to put an end to the
-      nuisance. Two days ago I was accosted as I was leaving this house&mdash;leaving
-      the door of my own house, sir, I would have you remark! A dashed
-      half-hanged scoundrel came up to me and had the impudence to tell me he
-      wanted to speak to me. 'Well,' I said, &ldquo;what is your business, sir?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'My name is Hankey,' said he.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hankey!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir, Hankey. You know him, then?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By name only.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then, sir, I had the advantage over you,&rdquo; said the General, irately. &ldquo;I
-      didn't know the scoundrel from Beelzebub&mdash;and I told him so. Upon
-      that, sir, he had the audacity to throw out a hint that my friends&mdash;as
-      he called his dashed gang of cut-throats&mdash;were keeping an <i>eye</i>
-      on me. I pass the hint on to you, sir, having no acquaintance myself with
-      such gentry!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And was that all that passed?&rdquo; I asked, feeling too amazed and too
-      interested to take offence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir, not all&mdash;but quite enough for my taste, I assure you. I
-      said to him, 'Sir,' I said, 'I know your dashed name and I may now tell
-      you that mine is General Sholto; that I am not the man to be humbugged
-      like this, and that I propose to introduce you to the first policeman I
-      see.' Gad, you should have seen the rogue jump! Then it seemed that he had
-      done me the honor of mistaking me for you, sir, and I must ask you to have
-      the kindness to take such steps as will enable your confederates to know
-      you when they see you, or, by George! I'll put the whole business into the
-      hands of the police!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I felt strongly tempted to let my indignant fellow-lodger adopt this
-      course, for my feelings towards the absentee tenant of Mount Olympus House
-      could not be described as cordial, and the impudence of his attempt to
-      threaten me took my breath away; but then the thought struck me, &ldquo;This man
-      is an agent&mdash;though I fear an unworthy one&mdash;of the Cause. I must
-      sink my own grievances!&rdquo; Accordingly, with a polite air, I endeavored to
-      lull my neighbor's suspicions, assuring him that it was only a tailor's
-      debt the conspiring Hankey sought from me, and that I would settle the
-      account and abate the nuisance that very afternoon.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He seemed a little mollified; to the extent, at least, that his thunder
-      became a more distant rumble.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't want to ask too many favors at once, sir,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;but I fear I
-      must also request you to remove your piano to the basement for the next
-      six-and-thirty hours. I shall not stand it, sir, I warn you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear sir,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;that was but a&mdash;how does the immortal
-      Shakespeare call it?&mdash;a countercheck quarrelsome&mdash;that was all.
-      I should not have sung at all had I known you disliked music.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Music! music!&rdquo; exclaimed my visitor, with an expressive blending of
-      contempt and indignation. Then, in a milder tone, yet with the most
-      crushing, irony, continued: &ldquo;I go to every musical piece in London&mdash;and
-      enjoy 'em sir; all of 'em. I've even sat out a concert in the Albert Hall;
-      so if I'm not musical, what the deuce am I?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is evident,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I might even appreciate your efforts, sir. Very possibly I would, very
-      possibly, supposing I heard 'em at a reasonable hour,&rdquo; said the General,
-      with magnanimity that will one day send him to heaven. &ldquo;But it is my
-      habit, sir, to take a&mdash;ah&mdash;a rest in the afternoon, and&mdash;er&mdash;er&mdash;well,
-      it's deuced disturbing.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This is but the echo of the storm among the hills. The wrath of my gallant
-      neighbor is evidently all but evaporated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A thousand apologies, sir. If you will be good enough to tell me at what
-      hours my playing is disturbing to you, I shall regulate my melody
-      accordingly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Much obliged; much obliged. I don't want to stop you altogether, don't
-      you know,&rdquo; says my visitor, and abruptly inquires, &ldquo;Professional musician,
-      I presume?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did I sound like it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Beg pardon; being a foreigner, I fancied you'd probably be&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;
-       He evidently wants to say &ldquo;a Bohemian,&rdquo; but fears to wound my feelings.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'A damned Bulgarian anarchist,'&rdquo; I suggest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He snorts, laughs, and apparently is already inclined to smile at his
-      recent heat.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm a bad-tempered old boy,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;Pardon, mossoo.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He is ashamed, I can see, that John Bull should have condescended to lose
-      his temper with a mere foreigner. This point of view is not flattering;
-      but the naïveté of the old boy amuses me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Take a seat, sir,&rdquo; I now venture to suggest, &ldquo;and allow me to offer you a
-      little whiskey and a little soda water.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He hesitates for a moment, for he has not intended that pacification
-      should go to this length; but his kindness of heart prevails. He has erred
-      and he feels he must do this penance for his lack of discretion. So he
-      says, &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; and down he sits.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And that was the beginning of my acquaintance with my martial neighbor,
-      General Sholto. In half an hour we were talking away like old friends;
-      indeed, I soon began to suspect that the old gentleman felt as pleased as
-      I did to have company on that wet afternoon.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I understand that you adorn the British army,&rdquo; I remark.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I was a soldier, sir; I was a soldier. I would be now if I'd had the luck
-      of some fellows. A superannuated fossil; that's what I am, mossoo; an old
-      wreck, no use to any one.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As he says this, he draws himself up to show that the wreck still contains
-      beans, as the English proverb expresses it, but the next moment the fire
-      dies out of his eyes and he sits meditatively, looking suddenly ten years
-      older. He did not intend me to believe his words, but to himself they have
-      a meaning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I am silent.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am one of the unemployed,&rdquo; he adds, in a minute.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I also,&rdquo; I reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I like my neighbor; I am in need of a companion; and I tell him frankly my
-      story. His sympathies are entirely with me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm happy to meet a young man who sticks up for the decencies nowadays,&rdquo;
-       he says. &ldquo;Bring back your King, sir, give him a free hand, and set us an
-      example in veneration and respect and all the rest of it. You'll make a
-      clean sweep, I suppose. Guillotine, eh? Not a bad thing if used on the
-      proper people.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I am ashamed to confess how half-hearted my own theories of restoration
-      are, compared with this out-and-out suggestion. I can but twist my
-      mustache, and, looking as truculent as possible, mutter:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, well, we shall see when the time comes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      When at last he rises to leave me, he repeats with emphasis his conviction
-      that republicanism should be trodden out under a heavy boot, and so
-      mollified is he by my tactful treatment that as we part he even invites me
-      into that carefully guarded room of his. It is not yet a specific
-      invitation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Some day soon I'll hope to see you in my own den, mossoo. Au revoir, sir;
-      happy to have met you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet I cannot help thinking that even this is a triumph of diplomacy. My
-      spirits rise; my ridiculous humors have been charmed quite away. As for
-      woman, she seems not even worth cynical comment in my journal. &ldquo;Give me
-      man!&rdquo; I say to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0068" id="linkimage-0068"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XVIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>A drop of water on a petal in the sunshine; that same drop down thy
-      neck in a cavern. Both are woman; thy mood and the occasion make the sole
-      difference</i>.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Cervanto Y'Alvez.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0069" id="linkimage-0069"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9190.jpg" alt="9190 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9190.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ECORD of an episode taken from my journal, and written upon the evening
-      following my first meeting with the General:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;This afternoon I decide to go to the Temple and see Dick Shafthead. We
-      shall dine together quietly, and I shall vent what is left of my humors
-      and be refreshed by his good-humored raillery. The afternoon is fading
-      into evening as I mount his stairs; the lamps are being lit; by this hour
-      he should have returned. But no; I knock and knock again, and get no
-      answer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Well,' I say to myself, 'he cannot be long. I shall wait for him
-      outside.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I descend again to wait in that quiet and soothing court, where the
-      fountain plays and the goldfish swim and the autumn leaves tremble
-      overhead. Now and then one of these drops stealthily upon the pavement;
-      the pigeons flit by, settle, fly off again; people pass occasionally; but
-      at first that is all that happens. At last there enters a woman, who does
-      not pass through, but loiters on the farther side of the fountain as
-      though she were meditating&mdash;or waiting for somebody. So far as I can
-      judge in the half-light and at a little distance, she is young, and her
-      outline is attractive; therefore I conclude she is not meditating.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She does not see me, but I should like to see more of her. I walk round
-      the fountain and come up behind her. She hears my step, turns sharply, and
-      approaches, evidently prepared to greet me. Words are on the tip of her
-      tongue, when abruptly she starts back. She does not know me, after all.
-      But quickly, before she has time to recover herself, I raise my hat and
-      say:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I cannot be mistaken. We have met at the bishop's?'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0070" id="linkimage-0070"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0192.jpg" alt="0192m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0192.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is a happy inspiration, I think, to choose so respectable a host, and
-      for a moment she is staggered. Probably she does actually know a bishop,
-      and may have met a not ill-looking gentleman somewhat resembling myself at
-      his house. In this moment I perceive that she is certainty young and very
-      far removed, indeed, from being unattractive.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To me, meeting her dark eyes for an instant, and then seeing the fair,
-      full face turn to a fair profile as she looks away in some confusion, she
-      seems beyond doubt very beautiful. A simple straw hat covers her dark coil
-      of hair and slopes arrogantly forward over a luminous and brilliant eye;
-      her nose is straight, her mouth small, suggesting decision and a little
-      petulance, her chin deep and finely moulded, her complexion delicate as a
-      rare piece of alabaster, while her figure matches these distracting
-      charms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I make these notes so full that I may the better summon her to my memory.
-      Also I note that the colors she wears are rich and bright; there is red
-      and there is dark green; and they seem to make her beauty stand out with a
-      boldness that corresponds to the dark glance of her eye. Not that she is
-      anything but most modest in her demeanor, but, ah! that eye! Its glow
-      betrays a fire deep underneath.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Her eye meets mine again, then she says:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I&mdash;I don't know you. I thought you were&mdash;I mean I don't know
-      why you spoke to me.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Evidently she does not quite know how to meet the situation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I decide that it is the duty of a gentleman to assist her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I spoke because I thought I knew you, and hoped for an instant I was
-      remembered.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'You had no business to,' she replies. Her air is haughty, but a little
-      theatrical. I mean that she does not entirely convince me of her
-      displeasure.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Mademoiselle, I offer you a thousand apologies. I see now that if I had
-      really met you before I could not possibly confuse your face with
-      another's. Doubtless I ought to have been more cautious, but as you
-      perhaps guess, I am a foreigner, and I do not understand the English
-      customs in these matters.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She receives this speech with so much complaisance that I feel emboldened
-      to continue.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I am also solitary, and meeting with a face I thought I knew seemed
-      providential. Do you grant me your pardon?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She gives a little laugh that is more than half friendly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Of course&mdash;if it was a mistake.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Such a pleasant mistake that I should like to continue in error,' I
-      reply.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But at this she draws back, and her expression changes a little. It does
-      not become altogether hostile, but it undoubtedly changes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'May I ask you a favor?' I say, quickly, and with a modest air. 'I was
-      looking for a friend and have become lost in this Temple. Can you tell me
-      where number thirty-four is?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Yes,' she replies, with a look that penetrates, and, I think, rather
-      enjoys, this simple ruse, 'it is next to number thirty-three.' And with
-      that she turns to go, so abruptly that I cannot help suspecting she also
-      desires to hide a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But observing that I, too, shall not waste more time here, I also turn,
-      and as she does not actually order me away, I walk by her side, studying
-      her afresh from the corner of my eye. She is of middle height, or perhaps
-      an inch above it; she walks with a peculiar swing that seems to say, 'I do
-      not care one damn for anybody,' and the expression of her eyes and mouth
-      bear out this sentiment.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Does she resent my conduct?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, probably she does, though my demeanor is humility itself.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'You came to enjoy the quiet of the Temple, mademoiselle?'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I was enjoying it&mdash;till I was interrupted,' she answers, still
-      smiling, though not in my direction.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I notice that she again casts her eye round the court, and I make a
-      reckless shot.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Perhaps you, too, expected to see a friend?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The eyes blaze at me for an instant.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'No, I did not,' she says abruptly, and mends her pace still further.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I noticed another lady here before you came,' I say, mendaciously and
-      with a careless air, as though I thought it most natural that two ladies
-      should rendezvous at that hour in the Temple. She gives me a quick glance,
-      which I meet unruffled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We pass through a gate and into a side street, and here, by the most evil
-      fortune, a cab was standing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Cabman,' says the lady, abruptly, 'are you engaged?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The next moment she has sprung into the cab, bade me a 'good-bye' that
-      seems compounded of annoyance and of laughter, with perhaps a touch of
-      kindness added, thrown me a swift glance of her brilliant eyes, and
-      jingled out of my sight. And I have not even learned her name.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;This exit of the fair Miss Unknown is made so suddenly that for half a
-      minute I stand with my hat in my hand still, foolishly smiling.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then I give an exclamation that might be deemed profane, rush round a
-      corner and up a street, catch a glimpse of the back of a cab disappearing
-      into the traffic of the Strand, leap into another, and bid my driver
-      pursue that hansom in front.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, I had a spirited chase while it lasted, for my quarry had a swift
-      steed, and there were many other cabs in the Strand that would have
-      confused the scent for any but the most relentless sleuth-hound. It ended
-      in Pall Mall, where I had the satisfaction of seeing the flying chariot
-      deposit a stout gentleman before a most respectable club.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I drove to my rooms with my ardor cooled and my cynicism fast returning,
-      and had almost landed at my door when a most surprising coincidence
-      occurred, so surprising that I suspect it was the contrivance of either
-      Providence or the devil. A cab left the door just as I drove up, and in it
-      sat Miss Unknown! I was too dumfounded to turn in pursuit, and, besides, I
-      was too curious to learn the reason of this visit.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By the greatest good luck the door was opened by Halfred, who in his
-      obliging way lent his services now and then when the maid was out.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Did she leave her name?' I cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Beg pardon, sir?' said Halfred, in astonishment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'I mean the lady who just called for me.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'She hasked for General Sholto, sir.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My face fell.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'The devil she did!' I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' said he; 'that's the lady as visits 'im sometimes.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I whistled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Was the General at home?'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'No, sir, but she left a message as 'ow she'd call again to-morrow
-      morning.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Halfred,' I said, 'do not deliver that message. I shall see to it
-      myself.'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And so Miss Unknown is the gay General's mysterious visitor. And I caught
-      her at another rendezvous. But she denied this. Bah! I do not believe her.
-      I trust no woman.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On my mind is left a curious impression from this brief passage&mdash;an
-      impression of a beautiful wild animal, half shy, half bold, dreading the
-      cage, but not so much, I think, the chase. Yes, decidedly there was
-      something untamed in her air, in her eye, in her devil-may-care walk. For
-      myself a savage queen has few charms, especially if she have merely the
-      cannibal habit without the simplicity of attire.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yet, mon Dieu, I have but seen her once! Come, to-morrow may show her in
-      a better light. Ah, my gay dog of a General! It is unfortunate for you
-      that you were so anxious to make my acquaintance!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Here ends the entry in my journal. You shall now see with what tact and
-      acumen I pursued this entertaining intrigue.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0071" id="linkimage-0071"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XIX
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Introduce you to my mistress? I should as soon think of lending you my
-      umbrella!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Hercule D'Enville.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0072" id="linkimage-0072"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9198.jpg" alt="9198 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9198.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      OOD-MORNING, General. I have come to return your call.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The General stood in the door of his room, holding it half closed behind
-      him. He wore a very old shooting-coat, smeared with many curious stains.
-      Evidently he was engaged upon some unclean work, and evidently, also, he
-      would have preferred me to call at some other hour. I remembered, now,
-      Halfred's dark hints as to his occupation; but I remembered still more
-      distinctly the dark eyes of Miss Unknown, and, whether he desired my
-      company or not, I was determined to spend that morning in his room.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Morning, mossoo,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Glad to see you, but&mdash;er&mdash;I'm
-      afraid I'm rather in a mess at present.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are the better company, then, for a conspirator who is never out of
-      one,&rdquo; I replied, gayly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Still he hesitated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear General, positively I shall not permit you to treat me with such
-      ceremony,&rdquo; I insisted. &ldquo;I shall empty your ink-pot over my coat to keep
-      you company if you persist in considering me too respectable.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, who could withstand so importunate a visitor? I entered the
-      carefully guarded chamber, smiling at myself at the little dénouement that
-      was to follow, and curious in the mean time to see what kind of a den it
-      was that this amorous dragon dwelt in. The first glance solved the mystery
-      of his labors. An easel stood in one corner, a palette and brushes lay on
-      a table, a canvas rested upon the easel; in a word, my neighbor pursued
-      the arts!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He looked at me a little awkwardly as I glanced round at these things.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0073" id="linkimage-0073"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0200.jpg" alt="0200m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0200.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fact is, I dabble a bit in art,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;I have nothing to do,
-      don't you know, and&mdash;er&mdash;I always felt drawn to the arts.
-      Amateur work&mdash;mere amateur work, as you can see for yourself, but I
-      flatter myself this ain't so bad, eh? Miss Ara&mdash;Ara&mdash;what the
-      devil's her name?&mdash;Titch. Done from memory, of course; I don't want
-      these busybodies here to know what I'm doing.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You keep your proficiency a secret, then?&rdquo; I said, gazing politely at
-      this wonderful work of memory. It was not very like nor very artistic, and
-      I wished to avoid passing any opinion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Never told a soul but you, mossoo, and&mdash;er&mdash;well, there's only
-      one other in the secret.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Again I smiled to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It must be delightful to perpetuate the faces of your lady friends,&rdquo; I
-      remarked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The old boy smiled with some complacency.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That's rather my forte, I consider,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are fortunate!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;I would that I had such an excuse for my
-      gallantries!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come now, mossoo, I'm an old boy, remember!&rdquo; he protested, though he did
-      not seem at all displeased by this innuendo.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are at the most dangerous age for a woman's peace of mind.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tuts&mdash;nonsense!&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Twenty years ago, I don't mind admitting&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I understand! And twenty years subsequent to that? Ah, General!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He laughed good-humoredly. He admitted that for his years he was certainly
-      as youthful as most men. He had become in an excellent temper both with
-      himself and his guest, when suddenly our conversation was interrupted by a
-      knocking at the door. He barely had time to open it when the dénouement
-      arrived. In other words, Miss Unknown stepped into the room. Yet at the
-      threshold she paused, for I could see that at the first glance she
-      recognized me and knew not what to make of this remarkable coincidence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As she stood there she made a picture that put into the shade anything a
-      much greater artist than the General could have painted, with her deep,
-      finely turned chin cast a little upward and her dark, glowing eyes looking
-      half arrogantly, half doubtingly, round the room. I noted again the
-      petulant, wilful expression in the small mouth and the indescribable,
-      untamed air. As before, she was dressed in bright colors, that set her off
-      as a heavy gold frame sets off a picture; only her color this time was a
-      vivid shade of purple.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She paused but for a moment, and then she evidently made up her mind to
-      treat me as a stranger, for she turned her glance indifferent to my host
-      and asked, in an off-hand tone,
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Didn't you know I was coming this morning?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I? No,&rdquo; said he, with an air as embarrassed as I could have wished.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I left a message yesterday afternoon.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I never got it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You mean you forgot it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I mean I never got it,&rdquo; he repeated, irately this time.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She made a grimace, as much as to say, &ldquo;Don't lose your temper,&rdquo; and
-      glanced again at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My niece, Miss Kerry,&rdquo; said he, hurriedly, introducing me with a jerk of
-      his hand.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      His &ldquo;niece&rdquo;! I smiled to myself at this euphonism, but bowed as
-      deferentially as if I had really believed her to be his near relation, for
-      I have always believed that the flattery of respect paves the way more
-      readily than any other.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She smiled charmingly, while I by my glance endeavored further to assure
-      her that my discretion was complete.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We exchanged a few polite words, and then she turned contemptuously to the
-      canvas.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you still at this nonsense?&rdquo; she asked, with a smile, it is true, but
-      not a very flattering one.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Still at it, Kate,&rdquo; he replied, looking highly annoyed with her tone.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Evidently this hobby of his was a sore subject between them and one which
-      did not raise him in her estimation. For a moment I was assailed by
-      compunction at having thus let her convict him in the ridiculous act.
-      &ldquo;Yet, after all, they are May and December.&rdquo; I reflected, &ldquo;and if the
-      worst comes to the worst, I can find a much more suitable friend for this
-      'niece.'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With a movement that was graceful in spite of its free and easy absence of
-      restraint, she rummaged first for and then in her pocket and produced a
-      letter which she handed to her &ldquo;uncle,&rdquo; asking, &ldquo;What is the meaning of
-      this beastly thing?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, unquestionably her language, like her carriage and her eyes, had
-      something of the savage queen.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The General read the missive with a frown and glanced in my direction
-      uncomfortably as he answered, &ldquo;It is obviously&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, it's by way of being a bill,&rdquo; she interrupted. &ldquo;I don't need to be
-      told that. But what am I to do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pay it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, then, I'll need&mdash;&rdquo; She stopped, glanced at me, and then, with
-      a defiantly careless laugh, said, boldly, &ldquo;I'll need an advance.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The deuce you will!&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;At this moment I can scarcely go
-      into&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't trouble,&rdquo; she interrupted. &ldquo;Just write me a check, please.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Without a word, but with a very sulky expression, the General banged open
-      a writing-desk and hastily scribbled in his check-book, while the
-      undutiful Miss Kerry turned to me as graciously as ever. But I thought I
-      had carried my plot far enough for the present. Besides, she must come
-      down-stairs, and my room was on the ground floor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I fear I must leave you, General,&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I must go, too,&rdquo; said Miss Kerry, as I turned to make my adieux to her.
-      &ldquo;Good-bye, uncle. Much obliged for this.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      It seemed to my ear that there was a laugh in that word &ldquo;uncle,&rdquo; and as I
-      saw the unfortunate warrior watch our exit with a face as purple as his
-      &ldquo;niece's&rdquo; dress, I heartily pitied the foiled Adonis. Yet if fortune chose
-      so to redistribute her gifts, was it for me to complain?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I accompany you for a short distance this time?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And a couple of minutes later I was gayly walking with her from the house,
-      prepared to hail a cab and hurry away my prize upon the first sign of
-      pursuit. No appearance, however, of a bereaved general officer running
-      hatless and distraught with jealousy behind us. Evidently he had resigned
-      himself to his fate&mdash;or did he place such reliance in the fidelity
-      and devotion of his &ldquo;niece&rdquo;? Well, we should see about that!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you remembered me?&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How do you know?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By that question. Ah, it has betrayed you! Yes, you do remember the
-      ignorant and importunate foreigner who pursued you with his unpleasing
-      attentions?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But it was a mistake, you said,&rdquo; she replied, with a flash of her eyes
-      that seemed to mean much.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A mistake, of course,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;And now let us take a cab and have some
-      lunch.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She appeared a little surprised at this bold suggestion, and recollecting
-      that an appearance of propriety is very rigorously observed in England,
-      often where one would least expect it, I modified my <i>élan</i> to a more
-      formal gallantry, and very quickly persuaded her to accompany me to the
-      most fashionable restaurant in Piccadilly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Even then, though she was generous of her smiles and those flashing
-      glances that I could well imagine kindling the gallant heart of General
-      Sholto, and though her talk was dashed with slang and marked with a
-      straightforward freedom, yet she always maintained a sufficient dignity to
-      check any too presumptuous advances. But by this time all compunction for
-      my gallant neighbor had vanished in the delights of Miss Kerry's society,
-      and I was not to be balked so easily.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To-night I wish you to do me a favor,&rdquo; I said, earnestly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes? What is it?&rdquo; she smiled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have a box at the Gaiety Theatre, and I should like a friend to dine
-      with me first, and then see the play.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As a matter of fact the box was not yet taken, but how was she to know
-      that?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I am to be the friend?&rdquo; she asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you will be so kind?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My uncle is coming, of course?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I smiled at her, and she beamed back at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We understand each other,&rdquo; I thought. &ldquo;But, my faith, how persistently
-      she keeps up this little farce!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Aloud I said:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course. Without an uncle by my side I should not even venture to turn
-      out the gas. Would you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course not!&rdquo; she replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And so it was arranged that at half-past seven we were to meet at this
-      same restaurant. In the mean time what dreams of happiness!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0074" id="linkimage-0074"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XX
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Virtue is our euphonism for reaction</i>.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0075" id="linkimage-0075"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9207.jpg" alt="9207 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9207.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ALF-PAST seven had just struck upon a church clock close by. Five minutes
-      passed, ten minutes, and then she appeared, more beautiful than ever&mdash;irresistible,
-      in fact.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But is this a private room?&rdquo; she asked, as she surveyed the comfortable
-      little apartment with the dinner laid for two, and the discreet waiter
-      opening the wine.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It could not be more so, I assure you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She glanced at the two places. &ldquo;Isn't my uncle coming?&rdquo; she demanded.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I was prepared for this little formality, which, it seemed, spiced the
-      adventure for her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;At the last moment he was indisposed,&rdquo; I explained, gravely; &ldquo;but he will
-      join us for dessert.&rdquo; The impossibility of gainsaying this, and the
-      attractiveness of the present circumstances&mdash;such as they were
-      without an uncle&mdash;quickly induced her to accept this untoward
-      accident with resignation, and in a few minutes we were as merry a party
-      of two as you could wish to find. Our jests began to have a more and more
-      friendly sound.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You do not care for this entrée?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is rather hot for my taste.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not so warm as my heart at this moment,&rdquo; I declared.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What nonsense you talk!&rdquo; she cried. &ldquo;It has some meaning in French,
-      though, I suppose.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet she laughed delightfully.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Much meaning,&rdquo; I assured her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;When was my uncle taken ill?&rdquo; she asked, once.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Our eyes met and we mutually smiled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;When you left his room with me,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And this answer seemed perfectly to satisfy her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you do with yourself all day?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Again she laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will only laugh,&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall be as solemn as a judge, a jury, and three expert witnesses,&rdquo; I
-      assured her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A friend and I are starting a women's mission.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I certainly became solemn&mdash;dumfounded, for one instant, in fact. Then
-      a light dawned upon me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your friend is a clergyman, I presume?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I had noticed the poster of an evening paper with the words &ldquo;Clerical
-      Scandal,&rdquo; and I suppose that put this solution into my head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My friend is a she,&rdquo; she replied, with a laugh. &ldquo;Clergyman? No, thanks!
-      We are doing it all ourselves.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ha, ha!&rdquo; I laughed. &ldquo;I see now what you mean! Excellent! Forgive my
-      stupidity.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I did not see at all, but I supposed that there must be some English idiom
-      which I did not understand. Doubtless I had lost an innuendo, but then one
-      must expect leakage somewhere. Surely I was obtaining enough and could
-      afford to lack a little.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At last we arrived at dessert.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I wonder if my uncle has come?&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have just been visited by a presentiment,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;General Sholto
-      has retired to bed. This information has been conveyed to me by a spirit&mdash;the
-      spirit of love!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She looked at me with a new expression. Ought I to have restrained my
-      ardor a little longer?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Does he know I am here?&rdquo; she asked, quickly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I assure you, on my honor, he has not the least notion!&rdquo; I declared,
-      emphatically.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then&mdash;&rdquo; she began, but words seemed to fail her. &ldquo;Good-night,&rdquo; she
-      said, dramatically, but with unmistakable emphasis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She rose and stepped towards the door with the air of a tragedy queen.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A thought, too horrible to be true, rushed into my heated brain.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Stop, one moment!&rdquo; I implored her. &ldquo;Do you mean to say that&mdash;that he
-      is <i>really</i> your uncle?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Her look of indignant consternation answered the question.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I sank into my chair, and, seeing me in this plight, she paused to
-      complete my downfall.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0076" id="linkimage-0076"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0210.jpg" alt="0210m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0210.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What did you imagine?&rdquo; she asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I endeavored to collect my wits.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who did you think I was?&rdquo; she demanded.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;behold a crushed, a penitent, a ridiculous
-      figure. I am even more ignorant of your virtuous country than I imagined.
-      Forgive me, I implore you! I shall endow your mission with fifty pounds; I
-      shall walk home barefoot; you have but to name my penance and I shall
-      undergo it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Whether it was that my contrition was so complete or for some more
-      flattering reason that I may not hint at, I cannot tell you to this day,
-      but certainly Miss Kerry proved more lenient than I had any right to
-      expect. Not that she did not give me as unpleasant a quarter of an hour as
-      I have ever tingled through. I, indeed, got &ldquo;what for,&rdquo; as the English
-      say. But before she left she had actually smiled upon me again and very
-      graciously uttered the words, &ldquo;I forgive you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As for myself, I became filled with a glow of penitence and admiration;
-      the admiration being a kind of moral atonement which I felt I owed to this
-      virtuous and beautiful girl. At that moment the seven virtues seemed
-      incarnate in her, and the seven deadly sins in myself. I was in the mood
-      to pay her some exaggerated homage; I had also consumed an entire bottle
-      of champagne, and I offered her&mdash;my services in her mission to woman!
-      I should be her secretary, I vowed. Touched by my earnestness, she at last
-      accepted my offer, and when we parted and I walked home in the moonlight,
-      I hummed an air from a splendid oratorio.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Though the hour was somewhat late when I got in, it seemed to me the
-      commonest courtesy to pay another call upon General Sholto and inquire&mdash;after
-      his health, for example. I called, I found him in, and not yet gone to bed
-      as my presentiment had advised me, and in two minutes we happened to be
-      talking about his niece.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It appeared that she was the orphan and only child of his sister, and that
-      for some years Kate and her not inconsiderable fortune had been left in
-      his charge, but from the first I fear that she had proved rather a handful
-      for the old boy to manage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A fine girl, sir; a handsome girl,&rdquo; he declared, &ldquo;but a rum 'un if ever
-      there was. I'd once thought of living together, making a home and all
-      that; but, as I said, mossoo, she's a rum girl. You noticed her temper
-      this morning? Hang it, I was ashamed of her!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where is she, then?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Living in a flat of her own with another woman. She is great on her
-      independence, mossoo. Fine spirit, no doubt, but&mdash;er&mdash;just a
-      little dull for me sometimes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She is young,&rdquo; I urged, for I seemed to see only Miss Kerry's side of the
-      argument. &ldquo;And you, General&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Am old,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Hang it, she doesn't let me forget that.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Evidently, I thought, my neighbor was feeling out of sorts, or he would
-      never show so little appreciation of his charming niece. I must take up my
-      arms on behalf of maligned virtue.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am certain she regards you with a deep though possibly not a
-      demonstrative affection,&rdquo; I declared. &ldquo;She does not know how to express
-      it; that is all. She is love inarticulate, General!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It hasn't taken you long to find that out,&rdquo; said he; but observing the
-      confusion into which, I fear, this threw me, he hastened to add, with a
-      graver air: &ldquo;Young women, mossoo, and young men too, for the matter of
-      that, have to get tired of 'emselves before they waste much affection on
-      any one else.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I protested so warmly that the General's smile became humorous again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You forget the grand passion!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Your niece is at the age of
-      love.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Possibly a young man might&mdash;er&mdash;do the trick and that kind of
-      thing,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;But I don't think Kate is very likely to fall in love
-      at present&mdash;unless it's with one of her own notions.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Her own notions?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;the kind of man I'd back for a place would be a
-      good-looking cabby or a long-haired fiddler. She'd rig him out with a
-      soul, and so forth, to suit her fancy&mdash;and a deuce of a life they'd
-      lead!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No use in continuing this discussion with such an unsympathetic and
-      unappreciative critic. He was unworthy to be her uncle, I said to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      When I returned to my own rooms, I opened my journal and wrote this
-      striking passage:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Illusion gone, clear sight returns. I have found a woman worthy of
-      homage, of admiration, of friendship. Love (if, indeed, I ever felt that
-      sacred emotion for any) has departed to make room for a worthier tenant.
-      Reason rules my heart. I see dispassionately the virtues of Kate Kerry; I
-      regard them as the mariner regards the polar star</i>.'&rdquo;'
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I reproduce this extract for the benefit of the young, just as&mdash;to
-      pursue my original and nautical metaphor&mdash;they put buoys above a
-      dangerous wreck or mark a reef in the chart. It is on the same principle
-      as the awful example who (I am told) accompanies the Scottish temperance
-      lecturer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0077" id="linkimage-0077"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXI
-    </h2>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      &ldquo;<i>If you-would improve their lot</i>,
-    </p>
-    <p class="indent20">
-      <i>Put a penny in the slot!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p class="indent30">
-      <i>English Song (adapted)</i>.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /> <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0078" id="linkimage-0078"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9215.jpg" alt="9215 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9215.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ERTAINLY John Bull is a singularly sentimental animal. I have said so
-      before, but I should like to repeat it now with additional emphasis. I do
-      not believe that he ever sold his wife at Smithfield, or, if he did, he
-      became dreadfully penitent immediately after and forthwith purchased a new
-      one. He is not a socialist; that is a too horribly and coldly logical
-      creed for him, but he enjoys stepping forth from the seclusion of that
-      well-furnished castle which every Englishman is so proud of, and dutifully
-      endeavoring to ameliorate the condition of the working-classes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;England expects every man to do his duty,&rdquo; he repeats, as he puts his
-      hand into his capacious pocket and provides half a dozen mendicants with
-      the means of becoming intoxicated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Oh yes, my kind English friends, I admit that I am putting it strongly;
-      but again let me remind you (in case you ever see these words) that if I
-      begin to be quite serious I shall cease to be quite readable. The
-      working-man, I quite allow, is provided with the opportunity of learning
-      the violin and the geography of South America and the Thirty-nine Articles
-      of the Anglican Church, besides obtaining many other substantial
-      advantages from the spread of the Altruistic Idea. You are wiser than I am
-      (certainly more serious), and you have done these deeds. For my part, I
-      shall now confine myself to recording my own share in one of them. Only I
-      must beg you to remember that for a time I was actually a philanthropist
-      myself, and as a mere chronicler write with some authority.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The mission of which I now found myself unpaid and unqualified secretary
-      was a recently born but vigorous infant; considering the sex for which it
-      catered, I think this simile is both appropriate and encouraging. The
-      credit of the inspiring idea belonged to Miss Clibborn, the friend with
-      whom my dark-eyed divinity shared a flat; the funds were supplied by both
-      these ladies and from the purses of such of their friends as admired
-      inspiring ideas or intoxicating glances; the office was in an East London
-      street of so dingy an aspect that I felt some small peccadillo atoned for
-      every time I walked along its savory pavements. By the time I had spent a
-      day in that office I could with confidence have murdered a member of
-      Parliament or abducted a clergyman's wife; so much, I was sure, must have
-      been placed to the credit side of my account, that these crimes would be
-      cancelled at once.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet can I call it drudgery or penance to sit in the same room with Kate
-      Kerry, to discuss with her whether Mrs. Smith should receive a mangle or
-      Mrs. Brown a roll of flannel and two overshoes, to admonish her
-      extravagance or elicit her smiles? Scarcely, I fear, and I must base my
-      claims to any credit from this adventure upon the hours when she happened
-      to be absent and I had to amuse myself by abortive efforts to mesmerize a
-      peculiarly unsusceptible office cat.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0079" id="linkimage-0079"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0218.jpg" alt="0218m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0218.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      From this you will perhaps surmise that there was no great press of
-      business in our mission; and, indeed, there was not, or I should not have
-      been permitted to conduct its affairs so long; for I spent nearly three
-      weeks in furthering the cause of woman. As for our work, it was really too
-      comprehensive to describe in detail. All women in the district, as they
-      were informed by a notice outside our door, were free to come in. Advice
-      in all cases, assistance in some, was to be given gratuitously. In time,
-      when the mission had thoroughly established its position and influence,
-      these women were to be formed into a league having for its objects female
-      franchise, a thorough reform of the marriage laws, and the opening of all
-      professions and occupations whatsoever to the gentler but, my employers
-      were convinced, more capable sex. In a word, we were the thin end of the
-      Amazonian wedge.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The strong brain which had devised this far-reaching scheme resided in the
-      head of Miss Clibborn. Concerning her I need only tell you that she was a
-      pale little woman with an intense expression, a sad lack of humor, and an
-      extreme distrust of myself. She did not amuse me in the least, and I was
-      relieved to find that her duties consisted chiefly in propagating her
-      ideas in the homes of the women of that and other neighborhoods.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As for Kate, she had entered upon the undertaking with a high spirit, a
-      full purse, and a strong conviction that woman was a finer animal than man
-      and that something should be done in consequence. In the course of a week
-      or two, however, the spirit began to weary a little, the purse was
-      becoming decidedly more empty; and, though the conviction remained as
-      strong as ever, one can think of other things surprisingly well in spite
-      of a conviction, and Miss Kerry's thoughts began to get a little
-      distracted by her secretary, I am afraid, while his became even more
-      distracted by Miss Kerry.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Plato; that was the theme on which we spoke. A platonic friendship&mdash;magnificent
-      and original idea! We should show the astonished world what could be done
-      in that line of enterprise. How eloquently I talked to her on this
-      profound subject! On her part, she listened, she threw me more dazzling
-      smiles and captivating glances, she delivered delightfully unconsidered
-      opinions with the most dashing assurance, she smoked my cigarettes and we
-      opened the window afterwards. This was philanthropy, indeed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Do you think I was unreasonably prejudiced in this lady's favor? Picture
-      to yourself soft lashes fringing white lids that would hide for a while
-      and then suddenly reveal two dark stars glowing with possibilities of
-      romance; set these in the midst of the ebb and flow of sudden smiles and
-      passing moods; crown all this with rich coils of deep-brown hair, and
-      frame it in soft colors and textures chosen, I used to think, by some
-      sprite who wished to bring distraction among men. Then sit by the hour
-      beside this siren who treats you with the kind confidence of a friend, who
-      attracts and eludes, perplexes and delights you, suggesting by her glance
-      more than she says, recompensing by her smile for half an hour's
-      perversity. Do this before judging me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But I am now the annalist of a mission, and I must narrate one incident in
-      our work that proved to have a very momentous bearing on that generous
-      inspiration of two women's minds.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Kate and I had been talking together for the greater part of a profitable
-      morning, when a woman entered our austere apartment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She was one of our few regular applicants; a not ill-looking, plausible,
-      tidily dressed widow who confessed to thirty and probably was five years
-      older.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good-morning, Mrs. Martin,&rdquo; said Kate, with a haughty, off-hand
-      graciousness that, I fear, intimidated these poor people more than it
-      flattered them. &ldquo;What do you want?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Please, mum,&rdquo; said Mrs. Martin, glancing from one to the other of us and
-      beginning an effective little dry cough, &ldquo;my 'ealth is a-suffering
-      dreadful from this weather. The doctor 'e says nothink but a change of
-      hair won't do any good. I was that bad last night, miss, I scarcely
-      thought I'd see the morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And here the good lady stopped to cough again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Kate, &ldquo;what can we do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If I 'ad the means to get to the seaside for a week, miss, my 'ealth
-      would benefit extraordinary; the doctor 'e says Margate, sir, would set me
-      up wonderful.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You had better see the doctor, Miss Kerry,&rdquo; I suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I can't be bothered. I've seen him before; he's a stupid little fool.
-      Give her a pound.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0080" id="linkimage-0080"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0221.jpg" alt="0221m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0221.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A pound, mum&mdash;&rdquo; began Mrs. Martin, in a tone of decorous
-      expostulation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, give her three, then,&rdquo; said Kate, impatiently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Just as the grateful recipient of woman's generosity to her sex was
-      retiring with her booty, Miss Clibborn returned from her round of duty.
-      She was the business partner, with the shrewd head, the judgment
-      comparatively unbiassed, the true soul of the missionary. I give her full
-      credit for all these virtues in spite of her antipathy to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She overheard the last words of the effusive Mrs. Martin, demanded an
-      explanation from us, and frowned when she got it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You had much better have investigated the case, Kate,&rdquo; she observed, in a
-      tone of rebuke.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;So I did,&rdquo; replied Kate, with charming insolence. &ldquo;I asked her whether
-      she went to church and why she wore feathers in her hat, and if she had
-      pawned her watch&mdash;all the usual idiotic questions.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Kate,&rdquo; said her friend severely, &ldquo;this spirit is fatal to our success.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Spirit be bothered!&rdquo; retorted the more mundane partner.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ladies,&rdquo; I interposed amicably, &ldquo;I have in my overcoat pocket a box of
-      chocolate creams. Honor me by accepting them!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Not even this overture could mollify Miss Clibborn, and presently she
-      departed again with a sad glance at her lukewarm ally and frivolous
-      secretary.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, how divine Kate looked as she consumed those bonbons and our talk
-      turned back to Plato! So divine, indeed, that I felt suddenly impelled to
-      ask a question, to solve a little lingering doubt that sometimes would
-      persist in coming to poison my faith in my friend.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have been wondering,&rdquo; I said, after a pause.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Wondering what?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You remember that evening I met you in the Temple? I was wondering what
-      rendezvous you were keeping.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What a funny idea!&rdquo; she laughed. &ldquo;I took a fancy to walk in the Temple;
-      that was all.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And expected no one?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course not!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At last I was entirely satisfied, so satisfied that I felt a strong and
-      sudden desire to fervently embrace this lovely, pure-hearted creature.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But no; it would be sacrilege! I said to myself. She would never forgive
-      me. Our friendship would be at an end. The rules of Plato do not permit
-      such liberties. Alas!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0081" id="linkimage-0081"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>To the foolish give counsel from the head; to the wise from the heart!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Cervanto Y'ALVEZ.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0082" id="linkimage-0082"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9224.jpg" alt="9224 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9224.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      VER since I became secretary I had been as one dead to my friends. Except
-      the General, I had seen none of them. One or two, including Dick
-      Shafthead, had called upon me, only to be told that I might not return
-      until long after midnight (for I was occasionally in the habit of dining
-      with one of my employers after my labors). When I thought of Dick, my
-      conscience smote me. I intended always to write to him, and also to Lumme,
-      to explain my disappearance, but never took pen in hand. I heard nothing
-      from France, nothing about the packing-case; nor did I trouble my head
-      about this silence. The present moment was enough for me. To Halfred I had
-      only mentioned that I was busily employed in a distant part of London, and
-      I fear my servant's vivid imagination troubled him considerably, for he
-      was earnestly solicitous about my welfare.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It ain't nothing I can lend a 'and in, sir?&rdquo; he inquired one day.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am afraid not,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He hesitated, uncertain how best to express his doubts politely and
-      indicate a general warning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You'll excuse me, sir, for saying so,&rdquo; he remarked at last, &ldquo;but Mr.
-      Titch 'e says that furriners sometimes gets themselves into trouble
-      without knowing as 'ow they are doing anything wrong.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tell Mr. Titch, with my compliments, to go to the devil and mind his own
-      business,&rdquo; I replied, with, I think, pardonable wrath.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0083" id="linkimage-0083"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0225.jpg" alt="0225m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0225.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; very good, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, hastily; but I do not know that
-      his doubts were removed. However I consoled myself for my want of
-      confidence in him by thinking that he had now a fair field with
-      Aramatilda.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      On the evening of that day when we had despatched Mrs. Martin to the
-      seaside, I returned earlier than usual and sat in my easy-chair ruminating
-      on the joys and drawbacks of platonic friendship. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said to myself,
-      &ldquo;it is pleasant, it is pure&mdash;devilish pure&mdash;and it is elevating.
-      But altogether satisfactory? No, to be candid; something begins to be
-      lacking. If I had had the audacity this morning&mdash;what would she have
-      said? Despised me? Alas, no doubt! Yet, is there not something delicate,
-      ideal, out of all ordinary experience in our relations? And would I risk
-      the loss of this? Never!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this point there came a knock upon the door, and in walked my dear Dick
-      Shafthead.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Found you at last,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Well, monsieur, give an account of
-      yourself. What have you been doing&mdash;burgling or duelling or what?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      His manner was as cool and unpretentiously friendly as ever; he was the
-      same, yet with a subtle difference I was instantly conscious of. There was
-      I know not what of kindness in his eye, of greater courtesy in his voice.
-      Somehow there seemed a more sympathetic air about him. Slight though it
-      was, this something insensibly drew forth my confidence. Naturally, I
-      should have hesitated to confess my little experiment in Plato and my
-      improbable vocation to such a satirical critic. I could picture the grim
-      smile with which he would listen, the dry comments he would make. But this
-      evening I was emboldened to make a clean breast of it, and, though his
-      smile was certainly sometimes a little more humorous than sympathetic, yet
-      he heard me with a surprising appearance of interest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then she's deuced pretty and embarrassingly proper?&rdquo; he said, when I had
-      finished the outline of my story.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Indeed, my friend, she is both.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Novel experience?&rdquo; he suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Entirely novel.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And what's to be the end of it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I shrugged my shoulders.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Going to marry her?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Marry!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have told you we are not even lovers. Dick, I
-      cannot tell you what my feeling is towards her, because I do not know it
-      myself. Yes, perhaps it is love. She has virtues; I have told you them&mdash;her
-      truth, her high spirit, her&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, yes,&rdquo; interrupted Dick, with something of his old brutality, &ldquo;you've
-      given me the list already. Let's hear her faults.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She is so full of delightful faults I know not where to begin. Perverse,
-      sometimes inconsiderate, without knowledge of herself. Divide these up
-      into the little faults they give rise to in different circumstances, and
-      you get a picture of an imperfect but charming woman.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is evident <i>you</i> don't know what falling in love means,&rdquo; said
-      Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I looked at him hard.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick actually blushed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he replied, with a smile that had a little tenderness as well as
-      humor, &ldquo;since you are a man of feeling, monsieur, and by way of being&mdash;don't
-      you know?&mdash;yourself, I might as well tell you. I've rather played the
-      fool, I expect.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He said this with an air of sincerity, but it was clear he did not think
-      himself so very stupid in the matter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;I am all ears and sympathy&mdash;also
-      intelligent advice.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And then the story came out. I shall not give it in Dick's words, for
-      these were not selected with a view to romantic effect, and the story
-      deserves better treatment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It appeared that, some twenty years before, a cousin of Lady Shafthead's
-      had taken a step which forever disgraced her in the eyes of her
-      impecunious but ancient family. She had, in fact, married the local
-      attorney, a vulgar but insinuating person with a doubtful reputation for
-      honesty and industry. The consequences bore out the warnings of her
-      family; he went from bad to worse, and she from discomfort to misery,
-      until, at last, they both died, leaving not a single penny in the world,
-      but, instead, a little orphan daughter. Of all the scandalized relations,
-      Lady Shafthead had alone come to the rescue. She had the girl educated in
-      a respectable school, and now, when she was nineteen years of age, gave
-      her a home until she could find a profession for herself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      This latter step did not meet with Sir Philip's approval. He had lent the
-      father money, and in return had had his name forged for a considerable
-      amount; besides, he did not approve of bourgeois relations. However, he
-      had reluctantly enough consented to let Miss Agnes Grey spend a few months
-      at his house on the understanding that, as soon as an occupation was
-      found, that was to be the last of the unworthy connection.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At this stage in the story&mdash;about a fortnight ago&mdash;fate and a
-      short-sighted guest put a charge of shot into the baronet's left shoulder.
-      At first it was feared the accident might be dangerous; Dick was hurriedly
-      summoned home, and there he found Miss Agnes Grey grown (so he assured me)
-      into one of the most charming girls imaginable. He had known her and been
-      fond of her, in a patronizing way, for some years. Now he saw her with
-      tears in her voice, anxious about his father, devoted to his mother, and
-      all the time feeling herself a forlorn and superfluous dependant. What
-      would any chivalrous young man, with an unattached heart, have done under
-      these circumstances? What would I have done myself? Fallen in love, of
-      course&mdash;or something like it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, Dick did not do things by halves. He fell completely in love;
-      circumstances hurried matters to an issue, and he discovered himself
-      beloved in turn. Little was said, and little was done; but quite enough to
-      enable a discerning eye to see at the first glance that something had
-      happened to Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And here he sat, with his blue eyes looking far through the walls of my
-      room, and his mouth compressed, giving his confidence not to one of his
-      oldest and most discreet friends, but to one who could share a sentiment.
-      A strange state of things for Dick Shafthead!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is an honorable passion?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What the devil&mdash;&rdquo; began Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I interposed. &ldquo;I believe you. But the world is complex, and I
-      merely asked. You are then engaged?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick frowned.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We haven't used that word,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But you intend to be?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He was silent for a little, and then, with some bitterness, said: &ldquo;My
-      earnings for the last three years average £37, 11s., 4d. I have had two
-      briefs precisely this term, and I am thirty years old. It would be an
-      excellent thing to get engaged.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But your father; he will surely help you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He will see me damned first.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then he will not approve of Miss Grey?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He will not.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Have you asked him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Again Dick was silent for a minute, and then he went on: &ldquo;Look here,
-      d'Haricot, old man, this is how it is. I know my father; he's one of the
-      best, but if I've got any prejudices I inherit them honestly. What he
-      likes he likes, and what he doesn't like he doesn't like. He doesn't like
-      Agnes, he doesn't like her family&mdash;or didn't like 'em. He doesn't
-      like younger sons marrying poor girls. On the other hand, he does like the
-      'right kind of people,' as he calls 'em, and the right sort of marriage,
-      and he does like me too well, I think, to see me doing what he doesn't
-      like. I have only a hundred a year of my own, and expectations from an
-      aunt of fifty-two who has never had a day's illness in her life. You see?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What will you do?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What can I do?&rdquo; he replied, and added, &ldquo;it is pleasant folly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      His brows were knitted, his mouth shut tight, his eyes hard. He had come
-      down to stern realities and the mood of tenderness had passed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But you really love her?&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      His face lit up for a moment. &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; he answered, and then quickly the
-      face clouded again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My friend,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I, too, have a friend&mdash;a girl, whom I place
-      before the rest of the world; I share your sentiments and I judge your
-      case for you. What is life without woman, without love? Would you place
-      your income, your prospects, the sordid aspects of your life, even the
-      displeasure of relations, before the most sacred passion of your heart?
-      Dick, if you do not say to this dear girl, 'I love you; let the devil
-      himself try to part us! I shall not think of you as the same friend.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He gave a quick glance, and in his eye I saw that my audience was with me
-      in spirit.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And my father? Tell him that too?&rdquo; he said, dryly in tone, but not
-      unmoved, I was sure.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tell him that your veneration, your homage, belongs to him, but that your
-      soul is your own! Tell him that you are not afraid to take some risk for
-      one you love! Are you afraid, Dick?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He gave a short laugh.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'd risk something,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Only something? And for Agnes Grey, Dick? Think of the future without
-      her, the life you have been leading repeated from day to day, now that you
-      have known her. Is that pleasant? Is she not worth some risk&mdash;a good
-      deal of risk?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He rose and then he smiled; and he had a very pleasant smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thanks,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;you're a good chap, monsieur. I wish you had to tackle
-      the governor, though.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let me!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if I want an eloquent counsel I know where to look for
-      one. Good-night.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will dare it?&rdquo; I asked, as he went towards the door.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Shouldn't be surprised,&rdquo; he answered, and with a friendly nod was gone.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I said to myself that I had done a splendid night's work. Also I began to
-      apply my principles to my own case.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0084" id="linkimage-0084"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Old friends for me! I then know what folly to expect.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0085" id="linkimage-0085"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9234.jpg" alt="9234 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9234.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      N the following morning Kate and I met as usual in the office of the
-      mission; and as usual she appeared three quarters of an hour after the
-      time she was nominally to be expected. She looked more ravishing than
-      ever; the art that conceals art had never more inconspicuously pervaded
-      every line and shade of her garments, every tress of her hair; her smile
-      opened up a long vista of possibilities. Again I strongly felt the
-      sentiments that had inspired me overnight; I could have closed the desk on
-      the spot and seized her hands; but I restrained myself and merely asked
-      instead what had become of her fellow-missionary. She was indisposed, it
-      appeared, and could not come to-day.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She's rather worried about our finances,&rdquo; said Kate, though not in a tone
-      that seemed to share the anxiety.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I had more than once wondered where the money was coming from and how long
-      it would last, but hitherto I had avoided this sordid aspect of the
-      crusade.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We can't go on any longer unless we get some more money,&rdquo; she added.
-      &ldquo;What with all my other expenses I can't run to much more, and Miss
-      Clibborn isn't very well off.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My own purse&mdash;&rdquo; I began.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; she interrupted, &ldquo;we want a capitalist to finance us regularly, and
-      Miss Clibborn has found a man who may help if he approves of our work. He
-      is coming down this morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;We are to be inspected by a philanthropist any
-      moment?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said, with a laugh. &ldquo;So you had better get out your papers and
-      look busy.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is this benefactor?&rdquo; I inquired, as I hastily made the most of our
-      slender correspondence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I can't remember his name; but he is something in the city. Very rich, of
-      course.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And if he refuses to help?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then we must shut up shop, I suppose,&rdquo; she answered, with a smile that
-      was very charming even if somewhat inappropriate to this sad contingency.
-      &ldquo;Shall you be sorry?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Disconsolate!&rdquo; I said, with more emotion than my employer had shown.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The door opened and the head of our grimy caretaker appeared.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A gentleman to see you, miss,&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Show him in,&rdquo; said Kate.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The philanthropist!&rdquo; I exclaimed, dipping my pen in the ink and taking in
-      my other hand the gas bill.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A heavy step sounded in the passage, mingled with a strangely familiar
-      sound of puffing, and then in walked a stout, gray-whiskered, red-faced
-      gentleman whose apoplectic presence could never be forgotten by me. It was
-      my old friend, Mr. Fisher, of Chickawungaree Villa!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are&mdash;ah&mdash;Miss Kerry?&rdquo; he said, heavily, but with
-      politeness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As she held out her hand I could see even upon his stolid features
-      unmistakable evidence of surprise and admiration at meeting this
-      apparition in the dinginess of East London.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;And you, I suppose, are&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mr. Fisher&mdash;a fisher of&mdash;ha, ha!&mdash;women, it seems, down
-      here.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The old Gorgon was actually jesting with a pretty girl! As I thought of
-      him in his diningroom I could scarcely believe my senses.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And this gentleman,&rdquo; he said, turning towards me, &ldquo;is, I suppose&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He paused; his eyes had met mine, and I fear I was somewhat unsuccessfully
-      endeavoring to conceal a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fisher!&rdquo; I said, holding out my hand. &ldquo;How do you do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He did not, however, take it; yet he evidently did not know what to do
-      instead.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you know Mr. Fisher?&rdquo; said Kate.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We have met,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and we could give you some entertaining
-      reminiscences of our meeting. Could we not, Mr. Fisher?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What are you doing here?&rdquo; said Fisher, slowly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Atoning for the errors of a profligate youth,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and assisting
-      in the education and advancement of woman.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For some reason he did not appear to take this statement quite seriously.
-      In England, when you tell the truth it must be told with a solemn
-      countenance; no expression in the face, nothing but a simple yet
-      sufficient movement of the jaws, as though you were masticating a real
-      turtle. A smile, a relieving touch of lightness in your words, and you are
-      instantly set down as an irreverent jester.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Miss Kerry,&rdquo; he said, sententiously, &ldquo;I warn you against this person.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But&mdash;why?&rdquo; exclaimed the astonished Kate.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say no more. I warn you,&rdquo; said Mr. Fisher, with a dull glance at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come, now,&rdquo; I said, pleasantly, for I recollected that the mission
-      depended on this monster's good-humor, &ldquo;let us bury the pick-axe, as you
-      would say. The truth is, Miss Kerry, that Mr. Fisher and I once had a
-      merry evening together, but, unluckily, towards midnight we fell out about
-      some trifle; it matters not what; some matter of gallantry that sometimes
-      for a moment separates friends. She preferred him; but I bear no grudge.
-      That is all, is it not, Fisher?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And I gave him a surreptitious wink to indicate that he should endorse
-      this innocent version of our encounter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Unluckily, at this point Kate turned her back and began to titter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The overfed eye of Fisher moved slowly from one to the other of us.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I came down here,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;at my friend Miss Clibborn's request to&mdash;ah&mdash;satisfy
-      myself of the usefulness of her mission. Is this a mission&mdash;or what
-      is it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is a mission,&rdquo; replied Kate, trying hard to sober herself. &ldquo;We are
-      doing ex&mdash;ex&mdash;cellent work.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But at that point she had recourse to her handkerchief.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Our work, sir,&rdquo; I interposed, &ldquo;is doing an incalculable amount of
-      benefit. It is the most philanthropic, the most judicious&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I stopped for the good reason that I could no longer make myself heard.
-      There was a noise of altercation and scuffling outside our door that
-      startled even the phlegmatic Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What on earth is this?&rdquo; he demanded.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The door opened violently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0086" id="linkimage-0086"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0239.jpg" alt="0239m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0239.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I can't 'old 'er no longer,&rdquo; wailed the voice of our caretaker, and in a
-      moment more there entered as perfect a specimen of one of the Furies as it
-      has ever been my lot to meet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She was a woman we had never seen before, a huge creature with a bloated
-      face adorned by the traces of a recently blacked eye; her bonnet had been
-      knocked over one ear in the scuffle with the caretaker, and her raw hands
-      still clutched two curling-pins with the adjacent locks detached from her
-      adversary's head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Madam,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;what can we do for you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I was determined to let Fisher see the businesslike style in which we
-      conducted our philanthropic operations.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where is he? Where the bloomin' blankness is he?&rdquo; thundered the virago.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Poor Kate gave a little exclamation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Leave her to me,&rdquo; I said, reassuringly. &ldquo;Where is who, my good woman?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My 'usband. You've gone and stole my 'us-band away! But I'll have the law
-      on yer! I'll make it blooming hot for yer!&rdquo; (Only &ldquo;blooming&rdquo; was not the
-      adjective she employed.)
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who are you, and what do you want?&rdquo; said Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      There was something so ponderous in his accents that our visitor was
-      impressed in spite of herself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My name is Mrs. Fulcher, and I wants my 'usband. Them there lydies wot's
-      come 'ere to mike mischief in the 'omcs of pore, hinnercent wiminen,
-      they've give Mrs. Martin the money to do it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To do what?&rdquo; said Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To go for a 'oliday to the seaside, and she's took my 'usband with her!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Taken your husband!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Why should she do that?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Because she ain't got no 'usband of her own, and never 'ad. <i>Missis</i>
-      Martin, indeed! Needin' a 'oliday for 'er 'ealth! That's wot yer calls
-      helevatin' wimmen! 'Elpin' himmorality, I calls it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;This is a nice business, young man!&rdquo; said Fisher, turning to me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Unfortunately for himself he had the ill-taste to smile at this triumph
-      over his ex-burglar.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, you'd larf, would yer!&rdquo; shrieked the deserted spouse. &ldquo;You hold
-      proflergate, I believe you done it on purpose!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Me?&rdquo; gasped Fisher. &ldquo;You ill-tempered, noisy&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But before he could finish this impeachment he received Mrs. Fulcher's
-      right fist on his nose, followed by a fierce charge of her whole massive
-      person; and in another moment the office of the women's mission was the
-      scene of as desperate a conflict as the bastion of the Malakoff. Kate
-      screamed once and then shut her lips, and watched the struggle with a very
-      pale face, while I hurled myself impetuously upon the Amazon and
-      endeavored to seize her arms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Police! Call the police!&rdquo; shouted Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Perlice, perlice,&rdquo; echoed his enemy. &ldquo;I'll per-lice yer, yer dirty,
-      himmoral hold 'ulk!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And bang, bang, went her fists against the side of his head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Idiot, virago, stop!&rdquo; I cried, compressing her swinging arm to her side
-      at last.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Send for the police!&rdquo; boomed the hapless Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Police!&rdquo; came the frenzied voice of the caretaker at the front door.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'll smash yer bloomin' 'ead like a bloomin' cocoanut!&rdquo; shouted Mrs.
-      Fulcher, bringing the other arm into play.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Compress her wind-pipe, Fisher,&rdquo; I advised. &ldquo;Tap her claret! Hold her
-      legs! She kicks!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0087" id="linkimage-0087"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0242.jpg" alt="0242m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0242.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Such a contest was too fierce to last; her vigor relaxed; Fisher was
-      enabled to thrust her head beneath his arm, and I to lift her by the
-      knees, so that by the time the policemen arrived all they had to do was to
-      raise our foe from the floor and bear her away still kicking freely and
-      calling down the vengeance of Heaven upon us.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My first thought was for the unfortunate witness of this engagement.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are upset, Miss Kerry; you are disturbed, I fear. Let me bring you
-      water.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm all right, thanks,&rdquo; she replied, with wonderful composure, though she
-      was pale as a sheet by now.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But what is this?&rdquo; I cried, pointing to a mark on her face. &ldquo;Were you
-      struck?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It's nothing,&rdquo; she replied, feeling for her handkerchief. &ldquo;She hit me by
-      mistake.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      So engrossed was I that I had quite forgotten Fisher; but now I was
-      reminded by the sound of a stentorian grunt.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ugh!&rdquo; he groaned. &ldquo;Get me a cab; fetch me a cab, some one.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Blood was dripping from his nose; his collar was torn, his cheeks scarred
-      by the nails of his foe; everything, even his whiskers, seemed to have
-      suffered. It would not be easy to persuade this victim of the wars to
-      patronize our mission now, but for Kate's sake I thought I must try.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, Fisher,&rdquo; I said, heartily, &ldquo;you are a sportsman! Your spirit and
-      your vigor, my dear sir, were quite admirable.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For reply he only snorted again and repeated his demand for a cab. Well, I
-      sent one of a large crowd of boys who had collected outside the mission to
-      fetch one, and suavely returned to the attack. It was not certainly
-      encouraging to find that he and Kate had evidently exchanged no amenities
-      while I was out of the room, but, ignoring this air of constraint, I said
-      to him:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We shall see you soon again, I trust? We depend upon your aid, you know.
-      You have shown us your martial ardor! let us benefit equally by your
-      pacific virtues!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall see myself&mdash;&rdquo; began Fisher. Then he glanced at Kate and
-      altered his original design into, &ldquo;a very long way before I return to this
-      office. It is disgraceful, sir; madam, I say it is disgraceful.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But what is?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Everything about this place, sir. Mission? I call it a bear-garden,
-      that's what I call it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am sorry, Mr. Fisher,&rdquo; began Kate, but our patron was already on his
-      way out without another word to either of us. And I had been his rescuer!
-      He slammed the door behind him, and that was the last of my friend Fisher.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment or two we remained silent. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Kate, with a little
-      laugh, &ldquo;that's the end of our mission.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The end, I fear,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0088" id="linkimage-0088"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXIV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Do I love you? Mon Dieu! I am too engrossed in this bonnet to say.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0089" id="linkimage-0089"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9245.jpg" alt="9245 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9245.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      N hour has passed since the departure of Fisher; the crowd outside, after
-      cheering each of the combatants down the street, has at last dispersed;
-      the notice at the door informing all females of our patronage and
-      assistance has been removed; the mission has become only a matter for the
-      local historian, yet we two still linger over the office fire. Kate says
-      little, but in her mind, it seems to me, there must be many thoughts. She
-      has recovered her composure and reflections have had time to come. I, with
-      surprising acumen and confidence, speculate on the nature of these.
-      Disillusionment, the collapse of hopes, and the chilly thaw that leaves
-      only the dripping and fast-vanishing remnants of ideals; these are surely
-      what she feels. As I watch her, also saying little, her singular beauty
-      grows upon me, and my heart goes out in sympathy for her troubles, till it
-      is beating ominously fast. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I say to myself, &ldquo;this is more than
-      Plato. I worship at the shrine of woman. No longer am I a sceptic!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      My sympathy can find no words; yet it must somehow take shape and reach
-      this sorrowing divinity. I lay my hand upon hers and she&mdash;she lets me
-      press her fingers silently, while a little smile begins to awake about the
-      corners of her wilful mouth.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Poor friend!&rdquo; I exclaim, yet with gentle exclamation. &ldquo;Yes,
-      disillusionment is bitter!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She gives her shoulders a shrug and her eye flashes into the fire.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is not that,&rdquo; she replies. &ldquo;It's being made a beastly fool of.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For an instant I get a shock; but the spell of the moment and her beauty
-      is too strong to be broken. It seems to me that I do but hear an evidence
-      of her unconquerable spirit.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have a friend,&rdquo; I whisper, &ldquo;who can never think you a fool. To me you
-      are the ideal, the queen of women. You may have lost your own ardent faith
-      in woman through this luckless experiment, but you have converted me!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this she gives me such a smile that all timidity vanishes. &ldquo;Kate!&rdquo; I
-      exclaim, and the next moment she is in my arms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For a silent five minutes I enjoyed all the raptures that a beautiful
-      woman and a rioting imagination can bestow. Picture Don Quixote embracing
-      a Dulcinea who should really be as fair of face as his fancy painted her.
-      Would not the poor man conceive himself in heaven even though she never
-      understood a word of all his passion? For the moment I shared some of the
-      virtues of that paladin with a fairer reason for my blindness. Her soft
-      face lay against mine, the dark lashes hid her eyes, her form yielded to
-      every pressure. What I said to her I cannot remember, even if I were
-      inclined to confess it now; I only know that my sentiments were flying
-      very high indeed, when suddenly she laughed. I stopped abruptly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why do you laugh?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She raised her head and opened her eyes and I saw that there was certainly
-      no trace of sentiment in them.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are getting ridiculous,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Don't look so beastly serious!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Serious!&rdquo; I gasped. &ldquo;But&mdash;but what are you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She smiled at me again as kindly and provokingly as ever. But the veil of
-      illusion was rent and it needed but another tear to pull it altogether
-      from my eyes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You do not love me, then?&rdquo; I asked, as calmly as I could.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Love?&rdquo; she smiled. &ldquo;Don't be absurd!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;I see I have neglected my duties hitherto. I ought to
-      have been kissing you all this time. That would have amused you better!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, I had roused her now, but to anger, not to love. She sprang back from
-      me, her eyes flashing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You insult me!&rdquo; she cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is it possible?&rdquo; I asked, with a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Her answer was brief, it was stormy, and it was not very flattering to
-      myself; evidently she was genuinely indignant.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And I&mdash;yes, I was beginning to see the ordinary little bits of glass
-      that had made so dazzling a kaleidoscope. I had been upbraiding Dulcinea
-      with not being indeed the lady of Toboso; and that honest maiden was
-      naturally incensed at my language.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I fear that in the polite apology I made her, I allowed this discovery to
-      be too apparent. Again she was in arms, and this time with considerable
-      dramatic effect.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I know what you think!&rdquo; she cried. &ldquo;You think that because I don't
-      make a fuss about <i>you</i>, I have no sentiments. If you were worth it
-      you would see that I could be&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She paused.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With the privilege of woman, she slightly changed the line of argument.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All men are alike,&rdquo; she said, contemptuously.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you have had similar experiences before?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, with a candor I could not help thinking was somewhat
-      belated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In the Temple?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He made a fool of himself, just like you,&rdquo; she retorted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yet you assured me there was no one&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What business had you with my confidence?&rdquo; she interrupted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I see,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;So you told what was not quite the truth? You were
-      quite right; people are so apt to misunderstand these situations. In
-      future I shall know better than to ask questions&mdash;because I shall be
-      able to guess the answers. Good-bye.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She replied with a distant farewell, and that was the end of a pretty
-      charade.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I went away vowing that I should never think of her again; I lunched at
-      the gayest restaurant to assist me in this resolution; I planned a series
-      of consolations that should make oblivion amusing, even if not very
-      edifying; yet early in the afternoon I found myself in her uncle's
-      apartments, watching the old gentleman put the finishing touches to &ldquo;A
-      portrait from memory of Miss Kate Kerry.&rdquo; That picture at least did not
-      flatter! I had told him before of our ripening acquaintance and my
-      engagement as secretary, and I think the General had enough martial spirit
-      still left to divine the reason for my philanthropic ardor. To-day he
-      quickly guessed that something unfortunate had happened.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Had a row with Kate, eh?&rdquo; he inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A row?&rdquo; I said, endeavoring to put as humorous a face on it as possible.
-      &ldquo;General, I pulled a string, expecting warm water to flow, and instead I
-      received a cold shower-bath.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I fear I must have smiled somewhat sadly, for it was in a very kindly
-      voice that the old gentleman replied:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know, mossoo; I know what it feels like. I remember my feelings when a
-      certain lady gave me the congé, as you'd say, in '62&mdash;was it?&mdash;or
-      '63. Long time ago now, anyhow, but I haven't forgotten it yet. Only time
-      I ever screwed my courage up to the proposing point; found afterwards
-      she'd been engaged to another man for two years. She might have told me,
-      hang it!&mdash;but I haven't died of broken heart, mossoo. You'll get over
-      it, never fear.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But it is not that she is engaged; it is not that she has repulsed me.
-      She is your niece, General, but I fear her heart is of stone. She is a
-      flirt, a&mdash;&rdquo; In my heat I was getting carried away; I recalled myself
-      in time, and added:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon; I forget myself, General.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know, I know,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I've felt the same about her myself,
-      mossoo. She's a fine girl; good feelings and all the rest of it, but a
-      little&mdash;er&mdash;unsatisfactory sometimes, I think. I've hoped for a
-      little more myself now and then&mdash;a little&mdash;er&mdash;womanliness,
-      and so on.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I cannot understand her,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I pictured her full of soul&mdash;and
-      now!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I used to picture 'em full of soul, too,&rdquo; said the General, &ldquo;till I
-      learned that a bright eye only meant it wasn't shut and that you could get
-      as heavenly a smile by tickling 'em as any other way.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;General!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Are you a cynic, then?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;God forbid!&rdquo; said the old boy, hastily. &ldquo;I've seen too many good women
-      for that. I only mean that you don't quite get the style of virtue you
-      expect when you are&mdash;twenty-five, for instance. What you get in the
-      best of 'em is a good wearing article, but not&mdash;er&mdash;the fancy
-      piece of goods you imagine.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In a word,&rdquo; I said, as I rose to leave him, &ldquo;you ask for a pearl and you
-      get a cheap but serviceable pebble.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, well,&rdquo; he replied, good-humouredly, &ldquo;we'll see what you say six
-      weeks later.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have learned my lesson,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;You will see that I shall
-      remember it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The reader will also see, if his patience with the experimental
-      philosopher and confident prophet is not yet quite exhausted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0090" id="linkimage-0090"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>We won't go home till morning!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;English Song.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0091" id="linkimage-0091"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9252.jpg" alt="9252 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9252.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ND now for a 'burst'!&rdquo; I said to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Adieu, fond fancies; welcome, gay reality!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I dressed for the evening; I filled my purse; I started out to seek the
-      real friends I had been neglecting for the sake of that imaginary one. But
-      I had only got the length of opening my door when I smiled a cynical
-      smile. There was Halfred in the passage playing the same farce with
-      Aramatilda. They stood very close together, remarkably close together,
-      talking in low tones.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thus woman fools us all,&rdquo; I thought.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With a little exclamation Miss Titch flew upstairs while Halfred turned to
-      me with something of a convicted air.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Miss Titch has been a-telling me, sir&mdash;&rdquo; he began.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know; I saw her,&rdquo; I replied, eying him in a way that disconcerted him
-      considerably. &ldquo;She has been telling you that woman is worthy of your
-      homage; and doubtless you believed her. Did you not?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, sir. She ain't said that exactly,&rdquo; he answered; &ldquo;though it wouldn't
-      be surprising, either, to hear 'er usin' them kind of words, considering
-      'er remarkable heducation. Wot she said was&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That you will serve till she finds another,&rdquo; I interposed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Miss Titch, sir, ain't one of that kind,&rdquo; he replied, with an air of
-      foolish chivalry I could not but admire in spite of myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon, Halfred. She is divine; I admit it. What did she say, then?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She says there's been a furriner pumpin' 'er about you, sir, this very
-      hafternoon.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pumping?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hashing questions like wot a Bobby does; as if 'e wanted hall the correct
-      facts.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ha!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;And he asked them of a woman!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; 'e comed up to 'er in the square and says 'e, 'You're Miss
-      Titch, ain't you?' and 'e gets a-talkin' to 'er&mdash;a very polite
-      gentleman 'e was, she says&mdash;and then 'e sorter gets haskin' about
-      you, sir, and wot you was a-doing and 'oo your friends was, and about the
-      General, too.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And, in brief, he gossiped with her on every subject that would serve as
-      an excuse,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Halfred, if I were you and I felt interested in Miss
-      Titch&mdash;I say, supposing I felt interested in Miss Titch, I should
-      look out for that foreigner and practise my boxing upon him!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0092" id="linkimage-0092"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9254.jpg" alt="9254 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9254.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you don't think, sir&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't think it was me he was interested in.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; said my servant, with a disappointed air, for he founded
-      great hopes of melodrama upon me, &ldquo;in that case I shall advise Miss Titch
-      to take care of 'erself.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do not fear,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;They all do that. It is we who need the
-      caution! Yes, Halfred, my sympathy is with that poor foreigner.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I fear my servant put down this sentiment to mere un-British eccentricity,
-      but I felt I had done my duty by him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As for the inquisitive foreigner, I smiled at the idea that he had really
-      addressed the fair Aramatilda for the purpose of hearing news of me. I may
-      mention that I had heard nothing more of Hankey; nothing from the league;
-      nothing had followed the arrival of the packing-case; the French
-      government seemed to have ignored my escapade; there were many foreigners
-      in London unconnected with my concerns; so why should I suppose that this
-      chance acquaintance of Aramatilda's had anything to do with me? &ldquo;If I am
-      wanted, I shall be sent for,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;Till then, revelry and
-      distraction!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      First, I sought out Teddy Lumme. We met for the first time since I left
-      Seneschal Court, but at the first greeting it was evident that all
-      resentment had passed from his mind as completely as it had from mine.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where the deuce have you been hiding?&rdquo; he asked me, with his old
-      geniality. &ldquo;We wanted you the other night; great evening we had; Archie
-      and me and Bobby and Tyler; box at the Empire, supper at the European,
-      danced till six in the morning at Covent Garden; breakfast at Muggins; and
-      the devil of a day after that. I'd have sent you a wire but I thought
-      you'd left town. No one has seen you. Been getting up another conspiracy,
-      what? Chap at the French embassy told me the other day their government
-      expected your people to have a kick-up soon. By Jove, though, he told me
-      not to tell any one! But you won't say anything about it, I dare say.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I can assure you it is news to me,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;but in any case I
-      certainly should not discuss the matter indiscreetly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now the question is,&rdquo; said Teddy, &ldquo;where shall we dine and what shall
-      we do afterwards?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, it may be elevating and absorbing to experiment in Plato and guide the
-      operations of philanthropy, but when the head is not yet bald and the
-      blood still flows fast, commend me to an evening spent with cheerful
-      friends in search of some less austere ideal! This may not be the
-      sentiment of an Aurelius&mdash;but then that is not my name.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We dined amid the glitter of lights and mirrors and fair faces and bright
-      colors; a band thundering a waltz accompaniment to the soup, a mazurka to
-      the fish; a babel of noise all round us&mdash;laughing voices, clattering
-      silver, popping corks, stirring music; and ourselves getting rapidly into
-      tune with all of this.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By-the-way,&rdquo; I said, in a nonchalant tone, &ldquo;have you seen Aliss
-      Trevor-Hudson again?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Teddy, carelessly, and yet with a slightly uncomfortable air.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did you become friends again? Pardon me if I am indiscreet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hang it! d'Haricot,&rdquo; he exclaimed; &ldquo;I'm off women&mdash;for good this
-      time.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then she was&mdash;what shall I say?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She kept me hanging on for a week,&rdquo; confessed Teddy, &ldquo;and then suddenly
-      accepted old Horley.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Horley&mdash;the stout baronet? Why, he might be her father!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;So Miss Horley thinks, I believe,&rdquo; grinned Teddy. &ldquo;His family are sick as
-      dogs about it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And hers?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, Sir Henry has twenty thousand a year; they're quite pleased.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I smiled cynically at this confirmation of my philosophy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say, have you got over your own penshant, as you'd call it, for the
-      lady?&rdquo; asked Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear fellow,&rdquo; I said, lightly, &ldquo;these affairs do not trouble me long.
-      I give you a toast, Teddy&mdash;here is to man's best friend&mdash;a short
-      memory!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And blow the expense!&rdquo; added Teddy, somewhat irrelevantly, but with great
-      enthusiasm.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A short life and a merry one!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Kiss 'em all, and no heel-taps!&rdquo; cried Teddy. &ldquo;Waiter, another bottle,
-      and move about a little quicker, will you? Getting that gentleman's soup,
-      were you? Well, don't do it again; d'ye hear?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0093" id="linkimage-0093"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0258.jpg" alt="0258m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0258.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      At this moment a piercing cry reached us from the other side of the room.
-      It sounded like an elementary attempt to pronounce two words, &ldquo;Hey, Teddy!
-      Hey, Teddy!&rdquo; and to be composed of several voices. We looked across and
-      saw four or five young men, most of them on their feet, and all waving
-      either napkins or empty bottles. On catching my friend's eye their
-      enthusiasm redoubled, and on his part he became instantly excited.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By Jove!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Excuse me one minute.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He rushed across the room and I could see that he was the recipient of a
-      most hilarious greeting. Presently he came back in great spirits.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say, we're in luck's way,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'd quite forgotten this was the
-      night of the match.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      It then appeared that the universities of Oxford and Cambridge had been
-      playing a football match that afternoon and that on the evening of the
-      encounter it was an ancient custom for these seats of learning to join in
-      an amicable celebration of the event.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The very thing we want,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Come on and join these men&mdash;old
-      pals of mine; dashed good chaps and regular sportsmen. Come on!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But,&rdquo; I protested, as I let him lead me to these &ldquo;regular sportsmen,&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am neither of Oxford nor Cambridge.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, that doesn't matter. Hi!&rdquo; (this was to call the attention of his
-      friends to my presence). &ldquo;Let me introduce Mr. Black, of Brasenose; Mr.
-      Brown, of Balliol, Mr. Scarlett, of Magdalen; Mr. White, of Christchurch.
-      This is my honorable and accomplished friend, Mr. Juggins, of Jesus!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this there was a roar of welcome and a universal shout of &ldquo;Good old
-      Juggins!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But indeed my friend flatters me!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have not the honor to
-      be the Juggins.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No use in disclaiming my new name, however. Juggins of Jesus I remained
-      for the rest of that evening, and there was nothing for it but to live up
-      to the character. And I soon found that it was not difficult. All I had to
-      do was to shout whenever Mr. Scarlett or Mr. Black shouted, and wave my
-      napkin in imitation of Mr. White or Mr. Brown. No questions were asked
-      regarding my degree or the lectures I attended, and my perfect familiarity
-      with Jesus College seemed to be taken for granted. I do not wish to seem
-      vainglorious, but I cannot help thinking that I produced a favorable
-      impression on my new friends.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Juggins won the match for us,&rdquo; shouted Mr. White. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did, indeed. Vive la football! I won it by an innings and a goal!&rdquo; I
-      cried, adopting what I knew of their athletic terms.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Juggins will make us a speech! Good old Juggins!&rdquo; shouted Mr. Black.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0094" id="linkimage-0094"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0260.jpg" alt="0260m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0260.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fellow-students!&rdquo; I replied, rising promptly at this invitation, &ldquo;my
-      exploits already seem known to you, better even than to myself. How I hit
-      the wicket, kick the goal, bowl the hurdle, and swing the oar, what need
-      to relate? Good old Juggins, indeed! I give you this health&mdash;to my
-      venerable college of Jesus, to the beloved colleges of you all, to my
-      respectable and promising friend, Lumme, to the goal-post of Oxford, to
-      love, to wine, to the Prince of Wales!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Never was a speech delivered with more fervor or received with greater
-      applause. After that I do not think they would have parted with me to save
-      themselves from prison. And indeed it very nearly came to that alternative
-      more than once in the course of the evening.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0095" id="linkimage-0095"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0262.jpg" alt="0262m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0262.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      We hailed two hansoms, and drove, three in each, and all of us addressing
-      appropriate sentiments to the passers-by, to a music-hall which, as I am
-      now making my début as a distinguished sportsman, I shall call the
-      &ldquo;Umpire.&rdquo; I shall not give its real name, as my share in the occurrences
-      that ensued is probably still remembered by the management. It was,
-      however, not unlike the title I have given it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My head, I confess, was buzzing in the most unwonted fashion, but I
-      remember quite distinctly that as we alighted from our cabs there was
-      quite a crowd about the doors, all apparently making as much noise as they
-      could, and that as we pushed our way through, my eyes were fascinated by a
-      bill bearing the legend &ldquo;<i>NEPTUNE</i>&mdash;the Amphibious Marvel! First
-      appearance to-night! All records broken!&rdquo; And I wondered, in the seriously
-      simple way one does wonder under such conditions, what in the world the
-      meaning of this cryptogram might be.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We got inside, and, my faith! the scene that met our eyes! Apparently the
-      football match was being replayed in the promenade and on the staircases
-      of the Umpire. Three gigantic figures in livery&mdash;&ldquo;the bowlers-out&rdquo; as
-      they are termed&mdash;were dragging a small and tattered man by the head
-      and shoulders while his friends clung desperately to his lower limbs.
-      Round this tableau seethed a wild throng shouting &ldquo;Oxford!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Cambridge!&rdquo; and similar war-cries&mdash;destroying their own and each
-      others' hats, and moved apparently by as incalculable forces as the
-      billows in a storm. On the stage a luckless figure in a grotesque costume
-      was vainly endeavoring to make a comic song audible; and what the rest of
-      the audience were doing or thinking I have no means of guessing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oxford! To the rescue!&rdquo; shouted Mr. Black.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Vive Juggins! Kick the football!&rdquo; I cried, leading the onslaught and
-      hurling myself upon one of the bowlers-out.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo; yelled my admirers, as they followed my spirited
-      example, and in a moment the house rang with my new name. &ldquo;Juggins!&rdquo;
-       could, I am sure, have been heard for half a mile outside.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The uproar increased; more bowlers-out hurried to the rescue; and I,
-      thanks to my efficient use of my fists and feet, found myself the
-      principal object of their attention. Had it not been for the loyal support
-      of my companions I know not what my fate would have been, but their
-      attachment seemed to increase with each fresh enemy who assailed me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At last, panting and dishevelled, my opera-hat flattened and crushed over
-      my eyes, the lining of my overcoat hanging out in a long streamer, like a
-      flag of distress, I was dragged free by the united efforts of Mr. White
-      and Mr. Scarlett, and for an instant had a breathing space.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0096" id="linkimage-0096"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0264.jpg" alt="0264m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0264.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      I could see that the curtain was down and the performance stopped; that
-      many people had risen in their places and apparently were calling for the
-      assistance of the police, and that from the number of liveries in the
-      mêlée the management were taking the rioters seriously in hand. In another
-      moment two or three of these officials broke loose and bore down upon me
-      with a shout of &ldquo;That's 'im!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Bolt, Juggins!&rdquo; cried Mr. Scarlett. &ldquo;We'll give you a start.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The two intrepid gentlemen placed themselves between me and my pursuers. I
-      stood my ground for a minute, but seeing that nothing could withstand the
-      onset of my foes, and that Mr. White was already on the floor, I turned
-      and fled. The chase was hot. I dashed down a flight of stairs, and then,
-      by a happy chance, saw a door marked &ldquo;private.&rdquo; Through it I ran and was
-      making my way I knew not whither, but certainly in forbidden territory,
-      when I was confronted by an agitated stranger. I stopped, and would have
-      raised my hat had it not been so tightly jammed upon my head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The man looked at me for a moment, and then seemed to think he recognized
-      my face.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0097" id="linkimage-0097"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0266.jpg" alt="0266m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0266.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are Mr. Neptune?&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have named me!&rdquo; I cried, opening my arms and embracing him
-      effusively.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am afraid you got into the crowd,&rdquo; said he, withdrawing, in some
-      embarrassment, I thought. &ldquo;I suppose that is why you are late.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is the reason,&rdquo; I replied, feeling mystified, indeed, but devoutly
-      thankful that he did not recognize me as the hunted Juggins.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you had better go on at once, if you don't mind. There
-      is rather a disturbance, I am afraid, and we have lowered the curtain; but
-      perhaps your appearance may quiet them.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My appearance?&rdquo; I asked, glancing down at my torn overcoat, and wondering
-      what sedative effect such a scarecrow was likely to have. Besides, I had
-      appeared and it had not quieted them; though this, of course, he did not
-      know.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;that the nature of your performance is so
-      absorbing that we hope it may rivet attention somewhat.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      A light dawned upon me. I now remembered the bill outside the theatre. I
-      was the &ldquo;Amphibious Marvel!&rdquo; Well, it would not do for the intrepid
-      Juggins to refuse the adventure. For the honor of Jesus College I must
-      endeavor to &ldquo;break all records.&rdquo; My one hope was that, as it was to be my
-      first appearance, anything strange in the nature of my performance might
-      be received merely as a diverting novelty.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The stage is set for you,&rdquo; said my unknown friend. &ldquo;How long will it take
-      you to change?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Change?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;This is the costume in which I always perform.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He looked surprised, but also relieved that there would be no further
-      delay, and presently I found myself upon a huge stage, the curtain down in
-      front, and no one there but myself and my conductor. What was I expected
-      to do? I was sufficiently expert at gymnastics to make some sort of show
-      upon the trapeze without more than a reasonable chance of breaking my
-      neck. But there was no sign of any such apparatus. Was I, then, a strong
-      man? I had always had a grave suspicion that those huge cannon-balls and
-      dumb-bells were really hollow, and, in any case, I could at least roll
-      them about. But there were neither cannonballs nor dumb-bells. No, there
-      was nothing but a high and narrow box of glass.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is all right, you will find,&rdquo; said my conductor, coming up to this.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I also approached it and gave a gasp.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The box was filled with water&mdash;water about six feet deep!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shouldn't care to dive into it myself,&rdquo; he said, jocularly. &ldquo;But I
-      suppose it is all a matter of practice.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do I dive in&mdash;from the roof?&rdquo; I asked, a little weakly, I fear.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did you mean to?&rdquo; he replied, evidently perturbed lest their arrangements
-      had been insufficient.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not to-night,&rdquo; I said, with a sigh of relief. &ldquo;But to-morrow night&mdash;ah,
-      yes; you will see me then!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He regarded me with undisguised admiration.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are all ready?&rdquo; he asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Quite,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We went into the wings and the curtain rose.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I time you, of course,&rdquo; said my friend, taking out his watch. &ldquo;You have
-      stayed under five minutes in Paris, haven't you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I had discovered my vocation at last. The Amphibious Neptune was a
-      record-breaking diver.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ten,&rdquo; I answered, carelessly, and with such an air as I thought
-      appropriate to my reputation I walked onto the stage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Gentlemen and ladies!&rdquo; shouted my friend, coming up to the foot-lights.
-      &ldquo;This is the world-famed Neptune, who has repeatedly stayed under water
-      for periods of from eight to ten minutes! He is rightly styled&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But at this point his voice was lost in such an uproar as, I flatter
-      myself, greets the appearance of few Umpire artistes. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo;
-       they shouted. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo; I was recognized now, and I must live up
-      to my reputation as the high-spirited representative of Jesus College,
-      Oxford.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0098" id="linkimage-0098"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0269.jpg" alt="0269m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0269.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Kissing my hand to my cheering audience I mounted the steps placed against
-      the end of the tank, and with a magnificent splash leaped into the water&mdash;I
-      cannot strictly say I dived, for, on surveying the constricted area of my
-      aquatic operations, it seemed folly to risk cracking a valuable head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Unluckily, I had omitted in my enthusiasm to remove even my top-coat, and
-      either in the air or the water (I cannot say which) I drove my foot
-      through the torn lining. Conceive now the situation into which my
-      recklessness had plunged me&mdash;entangled in my overcoat at the bottom
-      of six feet of water, struggling madly to free myself, with only a sheet
-      of transparent glass between me and as dry a stage as any in England;
-      drowning ridiculously in clear view of a full and enthusiastic house. My
-      struggles can only have lasted for a few seconds, though to me they seemed
-      longer than the ten minutes I had boasted of, and then&mdash;the good God
-      be thanked!&mdash;I felt the side of my prison yield to my kicking, and in
-      another moment I was seated in three inches of water, dizzily watching a
-      miniature Niagara sweep the stage and foam over the foot-lights into the
-      panic-stricken orchestra.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Down with the curtain!&rdquo; I heard some one cry from behind, but before it
-      had quite descended the Amphibious Marvel had smashed his way out of his
-      tank and leaped into the unwilling arms of the double-bass.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0099" id="linkimage-0099"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0270.jpg" alt="0270m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0270.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Ah! that was a night to be remembered&mdash;though not, I must frankly
-      admit, to be repeated. Another mêlée with the exasperated musicians; a
-      gallant rescue by Teddy and his friends; a triumphant exit from the Umpire
-      borne on the shoulders of my cheering admirers; all the other events of
-      that stirring night still live in the memory of &ldquo;Good old Juggins.&rdquo; To my
-      fellow undergraduates of an evening I dedicate this happy, disreputable
-      reminiscence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0100" id="linkimage-0100"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXVI
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>So you pushed that little snowball from the top? And now it has
-      reached the bottom and become quite large? My faith! how surprising!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0101" id="linkimage-0101"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9272.jpg" alt="9272 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9272.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      T is an afternoon in December, gray and chilly and dark; neither the
-      season nor the hour to exhilarate the heart. I am alone in my room,
-      bending over my writing-table, endeavoring to relieve my depression upon
-      paper.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Since my appearance upon the music-hall stage I have enjoyed the society
-      of my Oxford friends while they remained in town; I have revelled with
-      Teddy; I have had my &ldquo;burst&rdquo;; and now the reaction has come. The solace of
-      my most real and intimate friend, Dick Shafthead, is denied me, for he has
-      apparently left London for a time; at any rate, his rooms are shut up and
-      he is not there. No company now but regrets and cynical reflections. A
-      short time ago what bright fancies were visiting me!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Woman gives and woman takes away,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;But she takes more
-      than she gives!&rdquo; I felt indeed bankrupt.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0102" id="linkimage-0102"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0273.jpg" alt="0273m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0273.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      Opening my journal and glancing back over rose-tinted, deluded eulogies, I
-      came to the interrupted entry, &ldquo;To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.&rdquo; Ah, that I
-      had profited by my own advice! &ldquo;Foolish friend, beware!&rdquo;&mdash;but he had
-      not.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I took up my pen and continued the exhortation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>What is woman? A false coin that passes current only with fools! Art
-      thou a fool, then? No longer!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Just then came a tap at the door, followed by the comely' face of
-      Aramatilda.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A lady to see you, sir,&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I started. Could it be&mdash;? Impossible!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is she?&rdquo; I asked, indifferently.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;She didn't give her name, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Show her in,&rdquo; I replied, closing my journal, but repeating its last words
-      to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Again the door opened. I rose from my seat. Did Kate hope to befool me
-      again? No, it was not Kate who entered and said, in a tone of perfect
-      self-possession:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you Mr. d'Haricot?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She was rather small, she was young&mdash;not more than two-and-twenty.
-      She had a very fresh complexion and a pretty, round little face saved from
-      any dolliness by the steadiness of her blue eyes, the firmness of her
-      mouth, and the expression of quiet self-possession. She reminded me of
-      some one, though for the moment I could not think who.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am Mr. d'Haricot,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am Aliss Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick's sister!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said, with a pleasant glimpse of smile that accentuated the
-      resemblance. &ldquo;Have you seen him lately?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Unfortunately, no.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She gave me a quick, clear glance as if to test my truth, and then, as
-      though she were satisfied, went on in the same quiet and candid voice:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I tried to find my cousin Teddy Lumme, but, as he was out, I have taken
-      the liberty of calling on you, because I know you are one of Dick's
-      friends&mdash;and because&mdash;&rdquo; She hesitated, though without any
-      embarrassment, and gave me the same kind of glance again&mdash;just such a
-      look as Dick would have given, translated into a woman's eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is anything the matter?&rdquo; I asked, quickly. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;He has left
-      home and we don't know where he is.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What has happened?&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He has told you of Agnes Grey, I think?&rdquo; she answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He has given me his confidence.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick came home a few days ago, and became engaged to her. My father was
-      angry about it and now they have gone away.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She told me this in the same quiet, straightforward way, looking straight
-      at me in a manner more disconcerting than any suggestion of reproach. It
-      was I&mdash;I, the misanthrope, the contemner of woman, who had urged him,
-      exhorted him to this reckless deed! And evidently she knew what my counsel
-      had been. I could have shot myself before her eyes if I had thought that
-      step would have mended matters.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then they have run away together!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;They have gone away,&rdquo; she
-      repeated, quietly, &ldquo;and, I suppose, together. I am afraid my father was
-      very hard on them both.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And doubtless you have learned what ridiculous advice I gave him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, &ldquo;Dick told me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now you abhor me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I should be much obliged if you would help me to find them,&rdquo; she
-      answered, still keeping her steady eyes upon my distracted countenance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I ask your pardon,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It is help you want, not my regrets&mdash;though,
-      I assure you, I feel them. Have you been to his chambers?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, I went and knocked, but I could get no answer.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Perhaps they&mdash;I should say he&mdash;has returned by now. I shall go
-      at once and see.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; she replied, still quietly, but with a kinder look in her
-      eyes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And you&mdash;will you wait here?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I shall come, too, of course,&rdquo; she said, and somehow I found this
-      announcement pleasing.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As we drove together towards the Temple, I learned a few more particulars
-      of Dick's escapade. When he told his father his intention of marrying Miss
-      Grey, the indignation of the baronet evidently knew no bounds, for even
-      his daughter admitted that he had been less than courteous to poor Agnes,
-      and what he had said to Dick was discreetly left to my imagination. This
-      all happened yesterday; Agnes had retired, weeping, to her bedroom, and
-      Dick, swearing, towards the stables. The orders he gave the coachman were
-      only discovered afterwards; but his plans were well laid, for it was not
-      till the culprits were missing at dinner that any one discovered they had
-      only waited till darkness fell and then driven straight to the station. No
-      message was left, no clew to their whereabouts. You can picture the state
-      of mind the family were thrown into.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Morning came, but no letter with it, and by the middle of the day Miss
-      Shafthead could stand the suspense no longer, so, in the same
-      business-like fashion as Dick, without a word to her parents, she had
-      started in pursuit. The aunt she proposed to spend the night with was not
-      as yet informed that she was to have a visitor; business first, and till
-      that was accomplished my fair companion was simply letting fate take
-      charge of her. &ldquo;With fate's permission, I shall assist,&rdquo; I said to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As we drew near to the Temple, she fell silent, and I felt sure that,
-      despite her air of <i>sang-froid</i>, her sisterly heart was beating
-      faster.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you think they&mdash;I mean he&mdash;will have returned?&rdquo; she said to
-      me, suddenly, as we walked across the quiet court.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sooner or later he is sure to be in&mdash;if he is in London. May I ask
-      you to say nothing as we ascend the stairs, and to permit me to make the
-      inquiries?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She gave her consent in a glance, and we tramped up the old wooden
-      staircase till we stopped in silence before Dick's door. These chambers of
-      the Temple are unprovided with any bells or other means of calling the
-      inmates' attention beyond the simple method of knocking. If the heavy
-      outer door of oak be closed, and he away from home, or disinclined to
-      receive you, you may knock all afternoon without getting any satisfaction;
-      and it was the latter alternative I feared. At this juncture I could
-      imagine circumstances under which my friend might prefer to remain
-      undisturbed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment I listened, and I was sure I could hear a movement inside.
-      Then I knocked loudly. No answer. I knocked again, but still no answer.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Stay where you are and make no sound,&rdquo; I whispered to my companion. &ldquo;Like
-      the badger, he must be drawn.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0103" id="linkimage-0103"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0279.jpg" alt="0279m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0279.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      I fumbled at the letter-slit in the door as though I were the postman
-      endeavoring to introduce a packet, and dropped my pocket-book on the floor
-      outside. This I knew to be the habit of these officials when a newspaper
-      proved too bulky. Then, quietly picking up the pocket-book, I descended
-      the stairs with as much noise as possible, till I thought I was out of
-      hearing, when I turned and ran lightly up again. Just as I was quietly
-      approaching the top of the flight I saw the door open and the astonished
-      Dick confront his sister. I stopped.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Daisy!&rdquo; he exclaimed, in a tone which seemed to be made up of several
-      emotions.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick!&rdquo; she replied, her self-control just failing to keep her voice quite
-      steady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Was it you who knocked?&rdquo; he asked, more suspiciously than kindly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, Dick; it was I who look that liberty,&rdquo; I answered, continuing my
-      ascent.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He turned with a start, for he had not seen me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You?&rdquo; he said, sharply. &ldquo;It was a dodge, then, to&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To induce you to break from cover. Yes, my friend, to such extremities
-      have you driven us.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In what capacity have you come?&rdquo; he asked, with ominous coolness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As friends,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Friends who have come to place ourselves at your
-      service; haven't we, Miss Shafthead?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said she, &ldquo;we are friends. Don't you believe me, Dick?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who sent you?&rdquo; he asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I came myself.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Does my father know?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick's manner changed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It's very good of you, Daisy. Unfortunately&mdash;&rdquo; here he hesitated in
-      some embarrassment&mdash;&ldquo;unfortunately, I am engaged&mdash;I mean I have
-      some one with me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this crisis Miss Daisy rose to the occasion in a way that surprised me,
-      even though I had done little but admire her spirit since we met.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course,&rdquo; she replied, with a smile; &ldquo;I was sure you would have, Dick,
-      and I want to see you both.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come in, then,&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I?&rdquo; I asked, with a becoming air of diffidence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As I acted on your advice,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;you'd better see what you've
-      done.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We entered, and there, standing in the lamplight, we saw the cause of all
-      this mischief. She was a little, slender figure with a pretty little oval
-      face in which two very soft brown eyes made a mute appeal for sympathy.
-      There was something about her air, something about her demure expression,
-      something about the simplicity of her dress and the Puritan fashion in
-      which she wore her hair, that gave one an indescribably quaint and
-      old-fashioned impression, and this impression was altogether pleasant.
-      When she opened her lips, and in a voice that, I know not how, heightened
-      this effect, and with an expression of sweetness and contrition said,
-      simply: &ldquo;Daisy, what must you think?&rdquo; I forgot all my worldly wisdom and
-      was ready, if necessary, to egg her lover on to still more gallant courses
-      Daisy herself, however, capitulated more tardily. She did not, as I hoped,
-      rush into the charming little sinner's arms, but only answered, kindly,
-      indeed, yet as if holding her judgment in reserve:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I haven't heard what has happened yet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I gave a sign to Dick to be discreet in answering this inquiry, which he
-      however read as merely calling attention to my presence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, let me introduce Mr. d'Haricot&mdash;Miss Grey,&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      So she was still Aliss Grey&mdash;and they had fled together nearly
-      four-and-twenty hours ago. I repeated my signal to be careful in making
-      admissions.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where have you been?&rdquo; said Daisy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have some cousins&mdash;some cousins of my father's&mdash;in London,&rdquo;
-       Agnes answered. &ldquo;I am staying with them.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And you are living here?&rdquo; I said to Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Where else?&rdquo; he replied, with a surprise that was undoubtedly genuine.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The arrangement is prudence itself,&rdquo; I pronounced. &ldquo;You see, Miss
-      Shafthead, that these young people have tempered their ardor with a
-      discretion we had scarcely looked for. I do not know what you intend to
-      do, but, for myself, I kiss Miss Grey's hand and place my poor services at
-      her disposal!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And I proceeded to carry out the more immediately possible part of this
-      resolution without further delay.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The little mademoiselle was evidently affected by my act of salutation,
-      while Dick exclaimed, with great cordiality:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good old monsieur; by Jove! you're a sportsman!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Still his sister hung back; in fact, my impetuosity seemed to have rather
-      a damping effect upon her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What are you going to do, Dick?&rdquo; she asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We are going to get married.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What, at once?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Almost immediately.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Without father's consent?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;After what he said to us both&mdash;to Agnes in particular&mdash;do you
-      think I am going to trouble about his opinion?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But, Dick, supposing we can get him to change his mind?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is going to change it for him? for he won't do it himself&mdash;I
-      know the governor well enough for that.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If I try to, will you wait for a little?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It's no use,&rdquo; said Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Wait till we see, Dick!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, we shall wait,&rdquo; said Agnes. &ldquo;Dick, you will wait, won't you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you insist,&rdquo; replied Dick, though not very cordially.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you will try?&rdquo; said Agnes.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Daisy came to her side, took her hand, and kissed her at last.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh yes, I'll do my very best!&rdquo; she exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      There followed one of those little displays of womanly affection that are
-      so charming yet so tantalizing when one stands outside the embraces and
-      thinks of the improvement that might be effected by a transposition of
-      either of the actors.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What will you say?&rdquo; asked Dick, in a minute.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't quite know,&rdquo; replied Daisy, candidly. &ldquo;I suppose I had better say
-      that&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She paused, as if considering.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Say that this is one of the matches made in heaven!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Say that
-      not even a father has the right to stand between two people who love each
-      other as these do!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By gad! Daisy,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;you ought to take the monsieur with you. I
-      don't believe there'd be any resisting him.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let me come!&rdquo; I exclaimed; &ldquo;I claim the privilege. My rash counsels
-      helped to cause this situation; permit me to try and make the atonement!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Daisy looked at me, I am bound to say, rather doubtfully.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He has a wonderful way with him,&rdquo; urged Dick. &ldquo;We can't do that kind of
-      eloquent appeal-to-the-feelings business in England, but it fetches us if
-      it's properly managed. You see, I don't want to fall out with the
-      governor. I know, Daisy, what a good sort he has been&mdash;but I am not
-      going to give up Agnes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If you think Mr. d'Haricot would really do any good&mdash;&rdquo; said Daisy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He can but try,&rdquo; I broke in.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Please let him,&rdquo; said Agnes, softly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, I had not shown her my devotion in vain!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; said Daisy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And so it was arranged that we were to start upon our embassy next
-      morning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0104" id="linkimage-0104"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXVII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>High Toryism, High Churchism, High Farming, and old port forever!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;CORLETT.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0105" id="linkimage-0105"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9285.jpg" alt="9285 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9285.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HAT evening, when I came to meditate in solitude upon the appeal I
-      purposed to make, my confidence began to evaporate in the most
-      uncomfortable manner. Was I quite certain that I should be pleading a
-      righteous cause? Ah, yes; I had gone too far now to question my cause; but
-      how would my eloquence be received? Would it &ldquo;fetch if properly managed&rdquo;?
-      I tried to picture the baronet, and the more my fancy laid on the colors,
-      the more damping the prospect became.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, well; Providence must guide me,&rdquo; I said to myself at last. And in a
-      way that I am sufficiently old-fashioned&mdash;superstitious&mdash;call it
-      what you will&mdash;to think more than mere coincidence, Providence
-      responded to my faith. I could scarcely guess that my friend, the old
-      General, who came in to smoke a pipe with me, was an agent employed by
-      Heaven, but so he proved.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0106" id="linkimage-0106"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0286.jpg" alt="0286m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0286.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I want your advice,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What should I say, what should I do, under
-      the following perplexing circumstances?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And, without giving him any names, I told him the story of Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Difficult business, mossoo, delicate affair and that sort of thing,&rdquo; he
-      observed, when I had finished. &ldquo;You say your friend is a pretty obstinate
-      young fellow?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick Shafthead is obstinacy itself,&rdquo; I replied, letting his name escape
-      by a most fortunate slip of the tongue.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Shafthead!&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;By Jove! Any relation to Sir Philip
-      Shafthead?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Since you know his name, and can be trusted not to repeat it, I may as
-      well say you that Sir Philip is the stern father in question. Do you know
-      him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Knew his other son, Major Shafthead. He is the heir, isn't he?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Dick is the second son.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ever met Tommy Shafthead&mdash;as we called him&mdash;the Major, I mean?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No; he is stationed abroad, I believe.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Heard about <i>his</i> marriage?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Dick has seldom mentioned him.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I wonder if he knows,&rdquo; said the General.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;About Tommy's marriage.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is there a mystery?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the General, &ldquo;it's a matter that has been kept pretty quiet;
-      but in case it may be any good to you to know, I might as well tell you.
-      Tommy was in my old regiment; that's how I know all about it. When he was
-      only a subaltern he got mixed up with a girl much beneath him in station.
-      His friends tried to get him out of it, but he was like your friend,
-      pig-headed as the devil. He married her privately, lived with her for a
-      year, found he'd made a fool of himself, and separated for good.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They were divorced?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No such luck,&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;He can't get rid of her. She's behaving
-      herself properly for the sake of getting the title, and naturally she's
-      not going to divorce him. So that's what comes of marrying in haste,
-      mossoo. Not that there isn't a good deal to be said for a young fellow who
-      has&mdash;er&mdash;a warm heart and wants to do the right thing by the
-      girl, and so forth. I am no Chesterfield, mossoo; right's right and
-      wrong's wrong all the world over, but&mdash;er&mdash;there are limits,
-      don't you know.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Has Major Shafthead any family?&rdquo; I inquired.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said the General.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then Dick will succeed to the baronetcy one day?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Or his son.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I reflected, &ldquo;I see now why Sir Philip is so stern. He would not
-      have a girl he dislikes the mother of future baronets, and he will not
-      allow the younger son to follow, as he thinks, in the elder's steps.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At first sight this seemed only to increase my difficulties; but as I
-      thought more over it, my spirits began to rise. Yes, I might make out a
-      good case for Dick out of this buried story.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, good-night, mossoo,&rdquo; said the old boy, rising. &ldquo;Good luck to you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And many thanks to you, General.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The next morning broke very cold and gray. We were well advanced in
-      December, and the frost was making us his first visit for the winter;
-      indeed, it was cold enough to give Miss Daisy the opportunity of looking
-      charming in a fur coat when I met her at the station. Dick came to see us
-      off, and I must admit that I felt more responsibility than I quite liked
-      in seeing the cheerful confidence he reposed in me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is but a chance that I can do anything,&rdquo; I reminded him. &ldquo;I may fail.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No fear,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I expect a pardon by return of post. By-the-way,
-      we got the manor of Helmscote in Edward the Third's time&mdash;Edward the
-      Third, remember&mdash;and the baronetcy after Blenheim. The governor
-      doesn't object to be reminded of that kind of thing if you do it neatly.
-      But you know the trick.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I should rather depend on your sister's eloquence,&rdquo; I suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, she's like me; can't stand on her hind legs and catch cake,&rdquo; laughed
-      Dick. &ldquo;We are plain English.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0107" id="linkimage-0107"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0290.jpg" alt="0290m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0290.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not so very plain,&rdquo; I said to myself, glancing at my travelling
-      companion's fresh little face nestling in a collar of fur.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She was very silent this morning, and I could now see that the experiment
-      of taking down an advocate inspired her with considerably less confidence
-      than it had Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Confess the truth, Miss Shafthead,&rdquo; I said to her, at last. &ldquo;You fear I
-      shall only make bad into worse.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't know what you will do,&rdquo; she replied, with a smile that was rather
-      nervous than encouraging.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Command me, then; I shall say what you please, or hold my tongue, if you
-      prefer it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh no,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you had better say something&mdash;now that you have
-      come with me; only don't be too sentimental, please.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shall talk turnips till I see my opportunity; then I shall observe
-      coldly that Richard is an affectionate lad in spite of his faults.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Daisy laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I think I hear you,&rdquo; she replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, at least, my jest served to make her a little more at her ease, and
-      we now fell to planning our arrival. She had left a note before she
-      started for town, saying only that she would be away for the night, but
-      giving no intimation of when she might return, so that we expected no
-      carriage at the station. This, we decided, was all the better. We should
-      walk to Helmscote, attract as little notice as possible on entering the
-      house, and then she would find out how the land lay before even announcing
-      my presence; at least, if it were possible to keep me in the background so
-      long.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My father is rather difficult sometimes,&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hasty?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm afraid so.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He may, then, decline to receive me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is quite possible.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The adventure began to assume a more and more formidable aspect. I agreed
-      that great circumspection was required.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At last we alighted at a little way-side station in the heart of the
-      country. We were the only travellers who descended, and when we had come
-      out into a quiet road, and watched the train grow smaller and smaller, and
-      rumble more and more faintly till the arms of the signals had all risen
-      behind it, and the shining steel lines stretched still and uninhabited
-      through the fields, we saw no sign of life beyond a cawing flock of rooks.
-      The sun was bright, the hoar-frost only lay under the shadow of the
-      hedge-rows, and not a breath of wind stirred the bare branches of the
-      trees. After a word of protest I took the fur coat over my arm, and
-      Daisy's bag in my hand, and we set out at a brisk pace to cover the two
-      miles before us.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Presently a sleepy little village appeared ahead of us; before we reached
-      it my guide turned off to the left.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is a little longer round this way,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;but I am afraid the
-      people in the village might&mdash;well&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Exactly,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;We are a secret embassy.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      It was a narrow lane we were now in, winding in the shade of high
-      beech-trees and littered with their brown cast leaves. Whether it was the
-      charm of the place, or that we instinctively delayed the crisis now that
-      it was so near, I cannot say, but gradually our pace slackened.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am afraid they will be rather anxious about me,&rdquo; said Daisy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If they value you as they ought,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She smiled a little, and then, in a minute, we rounded a corner, and she
-      said, &ldquo;That is Helmscote we see through the trees.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I looked, and saw a pile of chimneys and gables close before us and just a
-      little distance removed from the lane. Along that side now ran a high,
-      ancient-looking wall with a single door in it, opposite the house.
-      Evidently this unostentatious postern was a back entrance, and the gates
-      must open into some other road.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My fellow-ambassador paused and glanced in both directions, but there was
-      no sign of any one but ourselves.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I think it will be best if I leave you in the garden,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;while I
-      go in and find mother.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, I think it will be wise,&rdquo; I answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She took out a key and opened the door in the wall, and I found myself in
-      an old flower-garden screened by a high hedge of evergreens at the farther
-      end.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Give me my coat and bag,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Many thanks for carrying them. Now
-      just wait here. I shall be as quick as I can.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I lit a cigar and began to pace the gravel path, keeping myself concealed
-      behind the bushes as far as I could. Decidedly this had a flavor of
-      adventure, and the longer I paced, the more did a certain restlessness of
-      nerves grow upon me. I took out my watch. She had been gone ten minutes.
-      Well, after all, I could scarcely expect her to return so soon as that. I
-      paced and smoked again, and again took out my watch. Twenty minutes now,
-      and no sign of my fellow-ambassador. I began to grow impatient and also to
-      feel less the necessity for caution. No one had discovered me so far and
-      no one was likely to; why should I not explore this garden a little
-      farther? I ventured down to the farther end, till I stood behind the
-      hedge. It was charmingly quiet and restful and sunny, with high trees
-      looking over the walls and rooks flapping and cawing about their tops, and
-      a glimpse of the house beyond. This glimpse was so pleasing that I thought
-      I should like to see more, and, spying a garden roller propped against the
-      wall and a niche in the stone above it, I gave a wary look round, and in a
-      moment more had scrambled up till my feet were in the niche and my head
-      looking over the top.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Below me I saw a grass terrace and a broad walk, and beyond these the
-      mansion of Helmscote. No wonder Dick showed a touch of pride and affection
-      when (on very rare occasions, I admit) he had alluded to his home. It was
-      an old brick house of the Tudor period, though some parts were apparently
-      more ancient than that and had been built, I should say, by the first
-      Shafthead who had settled there. The colors&mdash;the red with diagonal
-      designs of black bricks through it, the stone of the mullioned windows,
-      the old tiles on the roof, the gray of the ancient portions, even, I
-      fancied, the green ivy&mdash;had all been softened and harmonized by time
-      and by weather till the whole house had become a rich scheme that would
-      have defied the most cunning painter to imitate it.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know Dick better since I have seen his home,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;And
-      his sister? Yes, I think I know her better, too, though not so well as I
-      should like to. Pardieu! what has become of her?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; said a voice behind me, &ldquo;what, are you doing there?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0108" id="linkimage-0108"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0295.jpg" alt="0295m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0295.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      I turned with a start, my grip of the wall slipped, and, with more
-      precipitation than grace, I descended to the garden again to find myself
-      confronted by a decidedly formidable individual. He was a gentleman of
-      something over sixty years of age, but tall and broad and upright far
-      beyond the common, and even though his left arm was in a sling of black
-      silk I should not have cared to try conclusions with him. His face was
-      ruddy and fresh, his features aristocratic and well-marked, his eyes blue
-      and very bright, and he was dressed in a shooting-suit and leather
-      leggings. The air of proprietorship, the wounded left arm, and the family
-      resemblance left me in no doubt as to who he was. I was, in fact, about to
-      enjoy the interview with Sir Philip Shafthead for the sake of which I had
-      entered his garden.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet, strange though it may seem, gratitude for this stroke of good luck
-      was not my first sensation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who the devil are you, and what are you doing here, sir?&rdquo; he repeated,
-      sternly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He had not heard of my arrival, then, and on the instant the thought
-      struck me that since he did not know who I was, I might make the
-      experiment of feigning ignorance of him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I address a fellow-guest of Sir Philip's, no doubt? I said, with as easy
-      an air as is possible for a man who has just fallen from the top of a wall
-      where he had no business to have climbed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Fellow-guest!&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;Do you mean to pretend you are visiting
-      Helmscote?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am about to; though I confess to you, sir, that Sir Philip is at
-      present unaware of my intention.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Indeed?&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You are doubtless a friend of Sir Philip's, sir?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He emitted something that was between a laugh and an exclamation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;More or less,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;And who are you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My name is d'Haricot, and I am a friend of his son, Dick Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He started perceptibly, and looked at me with a different expression.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have heard your name,&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As you are staying at Helmscote you have no doubt heard of Dick's
-      imprudence?&rdquo; I went on, boldly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; he replied, shortly. &ldquo;Have you come to see Sir Philip about
-      that?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I have travelled down with Miss Shafthead this morning;
-      she left me here for a short time while she went in to see her parents,
-      and while waiting I had the indiscretion to mount this wall, in order to
-      obtain a better view of the beautiful old house. It is the finest mansion
-      I have seen in England. No wonder, sir, that Dick is so attached to his
-      home!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yet, as you are aware, he has run away from it,&rdquo; said the baronet, dryly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;you have doubtless heard the father's view of his escapade.
-      Will you let me tell you the son's, while I am waiting?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Had you not better keep this for Sir Philip&mdash;that is, if he consents
-      to hear you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, eagerly. &ldquo;I have no secrets to tell, and if I can persuade
-      you that Dick has some excuse for his conduct, perhaps you, too, might say
-      a word to Sir Philip in his favor.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is unlikely,&rdquo; said the baronet; &ldquo;but go on.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At that moment I spied Daisy entering the garden, though fortunately her
-      father's back was towards her. Swiftly I made a signal for her to go away,
-      and after an instant's astonished pause she turned and slipped quietly out
-      again. I had been given a better chance than I had dared to hope for.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0109" id="linkimage-0109"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXVIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>At the journey's end a welcome;</i>
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <i>For the wanderer a friend!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Cyd.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0110" id="linkimage-0110"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/9299.jpg" alt="9299m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/9299.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      IR I began, &ldquo;I must tell you, in the first place, that there is this to be
-      said for Dick Shafthead&mdash;and it is an argument he is too generous to
-      use himself&mdash;he took counsel of a friend, who, perhaps rashly, urged
-      him to follow the dictates of his heart.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Indeed?&rdquo; said the baronet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes; I can answer for it, because I was that friend; and that is one of
-      the reasons why I was so eager to plead for him with Sir Philip.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It sounds a damned poor one,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;'May I ask why you advised a son
-      to rebel against his father?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If I had thought his father would regard his marrying the girl he loved
-      as an act of rebellion, I might&mdash;though I do not say I would&mdash;have
-      advised him otherwise. But he had told me that Sir Philip was a man of
-      great sense and understanding; therefore I argued that he would not take a
-      narrow or prejudiced&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Prejudiced!&rdquo; he exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Or a prejudiced view of his son's conduct. I knew he was a good
-      churchman; therefore, as a follower of a Carpenter's Son, he could not
-      seriously let any blemish on a girl's pedigree stand between his son and
-      himself. Besides, he was so highly placed that an alliance with his family
-      would be sufficient to ennoble. Furthermore, as he loves his son, he would
-      wish for nothing so much as his happiness. Lastly, being a great
-      gentleman, Sir Philip would give a lady's case every consideration.&rdquo; But
-      at this the baronet's feelings could no longer be contained.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By God, sir!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Do you mean to say you preached this
-      damnable sermon to my&mdash;to Dick Shafthead?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I had not preached this sermon, nor anything very much like it; but these
-      were undoubted the arguments I ought to have used.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I argued from what he had told me of his father,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;If I am
-      incorrect in my estimate of Sir Philip; if he is not a Christian, a
-      gentleman, an affectionate father, and a man of sense, then, indeed, I
-      reasoned wrongly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this thrust beneath his guard, Sir Philip was silent, and I hastened to
-      follow up my attack.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Another argument I used&mdash;and it seemed to me the strongest&mdash;was
-      this: that as Dick had told me of the deep affection Sir Philip felt for
-      Lady Shafthead, I knew his father had a heart which could love a woman
-      devotedly, and he had but to turn back the pages of his own life to find
-      himself reading the same words as his son.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sir Philip loved a lady of his own degree and station,&rdquo; he answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And Dick a relative of that lady,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;A girl with the same blood in
-      her veins, and a character which no one can impeach. Can Sir Philip?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Her character is beside the point,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick's father would not say so of his son's wife,&rdquo; I retorted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Again the baronet seemed at a loss for a fitting answer; and from his
-      expression I think he was on the point of revealing his identity, and
-      sending me forthwith to the devil; but without a pause I hurried up the
-      rest of my artillery.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Even if Sir Philip remains deaf to all that I have hitherto said, there
-      yet remains this, which must, at least, make him pause. He will be losing
-      a son.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And the son will be losing his father.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes; and therefore Sir Philip will not only be suffering, but inflicting
-      a misfortune.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I may remind you, sir, that Dick has only to listen to reason.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dick's mind is made up; and can you, sir, who know these Shaftheads,
-      expect them to abandon their resolutions so easily? From whom has he
-      inherited his firmness and tenacity? From his father, of course; and he
-      from that long line of ancestors who have made the name of Shafthead
-      honorable since the days of Edward the Third! The warrior who was ennobled
-      on the field of Blenheim has not left descendants of milk and water!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am perfectly aware that Dick is obstinate as the devil,&rdquo; replied the
-      baronet, but this time in a tone that seemed to have in it a trace of
-      something not unlike satisfaction.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And so, sir, his father will be ruthlessly discarding a second
-      daughter-in-law.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At these words the change that came over the baronet was so sudden and
-      violent that I almost repented of having uttered them.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in a stifled voice. &ldquo;Dick didn't tell
-      you? He does not know!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I learned it through an old companion in arms of Major
-      Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment there was a pause. Then he said, in a steadier voice:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And does this seem to you an argument for permitting another son to
-      commit an act of folly?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It does seem an argument for not breaking the last link with the
-      generation to come.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The baronet turned round and walked a few paces away from me; then he
-      turned back and said:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir, if it is any satisfaction to you, I may tell you that you have
-      already discharged your task. I am Sir Philip Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in simulated surprise. &ldquo;Then I must indeed ask your
-      pardon for the freedom with which I have spoken. My affection for your son
-      is my only excuse.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is fortunate in his friends, sir,&rdquo; said Sir Philip, though with
-      precisely what significance I could not be sure. &ldquo;You will now have
-      luncheon with us, I hope.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We walked in silence to the house, my host's face expressing nothing of
-      what he thought or felt.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In a long, low room whose oak panelling and beams were black with age and
-      whose windows tinged the sunshine with the colors of old coats of arms, I
-      was introduced to Lady Shafthead. She was like her daughter, smaller and
-      slighter than the muscular race of Shaftheads, gray-haired and very
-      charming and simple in her manner. Daisy stood beside her, and both women
-      glanced anxiously from one to the other of us. What those who knew him
-      could read in Sir Philip's countenance, I cannot say. For myself, I merely
-      professed my entire readiness for lunch and my appreciation of Helmscote,
-      but, surreptitiously catching Daisy's eye, I gave her a glance that was
-      intended to indicate a fair possibility of fine weather.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Evidently she read it as such, for she replied by a smile from which all
-      her distrust had vanished.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The meal passed off in outward calm and with no reference to the
-      conversation of the morning. Indeed, Sir Philip scarcely spoke at all, and
-      I was too afraid of making a discordant remark to say much myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You will excuse me from joining you in the smoking-room at present,&rdquo; said
-      the baronet, when we had finished. &ldquo;Daisy, you will act as hostess,
-      perhaps?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Nothing could have suited me better than this arrangement, and for an hour
-      we discussed our embassy and its prospects with the friendliness of two
-      intimates who have shared an adventure.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then Lady Shafthead entered and said with a smile towards us both,
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sir Philip has written to Dick.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is forgiven?&rdquo; I cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is told to come home.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Alone?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, alone.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      My face fell for a little, but Lady Shafthead's air reassured me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;For the present, at all events, alone,&rdquo; she said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And may the present be brief!&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And now his ambassador must
-      regretfully return to town.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, but you are staying with us, I hope,&rdquo; said Lady Shafthead.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;With one collar, a tweed suit, and no razors?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Can't you send for your things?&rdquo; suggested Daisy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And that is precisely what I did.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The next day the prodigal returned and had a long interview with his stern
-      parent. At the end of it he joined me in the smoking-room.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An armistice is declared,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;For six months the matter is not
-      to be mentioned.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And that is all?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All at present.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But six months, Dick! Can you wait?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Call it three weeks,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I know the limit to the governor's
-      patience. He never let a matter remain unsettled for one month in his
-      life.&rdquo; He filled his pipe deliberately, standing with his legs wide apart
-      and his broad back to the fire, while an expression of amused satisfaction
-      gathered upon his good-looking countenance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; he remarked, abruptly, &ldquo;don't think I'm ungrateful. You did the
-      trick, monsieur, and I won't forget it in a hurry.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      As he said this he turned his back to me and took a match-box from the
-      mantel-shelf, as though he had merely made a casual remark about the
-      weather, but by this time I knew the value of such undemonstrative British
-      thanks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Another condition that Sir Philip had made was that his son should not
-      return to London until the Christmas vacation was over, and, though this
-      was a matter of merely two or three weeks, Dick found it harder than a six
-      months' postponement of his marriage. But to me, I fear, it did not seem
-      so unreasonable, for, as he could not have his sweetheart's company, he
-      insisted on retaining mine; so, after a polite protest, which Lady
-      Shafthead declared to be unnecessary and Daisy to be absurd, I settled
-      down to spend my Christmas at Helmscote.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At that time there was no one else staying in the house, so that when I
-      sat down at dinner that night, one of a friendly company of five, I felt
-      almost as though I was a member of the family. And the Shaftheads, on
-      their part, seemed bent on increasing this illusion. Once I cheerfully
-      alluded to my exile&mdash;cheerfully, because at that moment the thought
-      had no sting.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An exile?&rdquo; said Lady Shafthead, smiling at me as a good mother might
-      smile. &ldquo;Not here, surely. You must not feel yourself an exile here.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And, indeed, I did not. For the first time since I landed in this country,
-      I felt no trace of strangeness, but almost as though I had begun to take
-      root in the soil. Circumstances had not enabled me to enjoy any family
-      life since I was a boy, and had I been given at that moment a free pardon
-      and a ticket to Paris, I should have said, &ldquo;Wait, please, for a few
-      months, till I discover to which nation I really do belong. Here I am at
-      home. Perhaps, if I return, I should now be lonely.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The very look of my room when I retired to bed impressed me further with
-      this feeling. The fire was so bright, the curtains so warm, every little
-      circumstance so soothing. I drew up the blind and looked out of a latticed
-      casement-window into a garden bathed in moonlight, and my heart was filled
-      with gratitude. Last thing before I went to sleep, I remember seeing the
-      firelight playing on the walls and mingling with a long ray from the moon,
-      and the fantastic designs seemed to form themselves into letters making a
-      message of welcome. And this message was signed &ldquo;Daisy Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At what hour I woke I cannot say; but I felt as though I had not been long
-      asleep, and that something must have roused me. The fire had burned low,
-      but the long beam of moonlight still fell across my bed and made a patch
-      of light on the opposite wall. Suddenly it was obscured, and at the same
-      moment I most distinctly heard a noise&mdash;a noise at the window. I
-      turned on my pillow with that curious sensation in my breast that by the
-      metaphysical may easily be distinguished from exhilaration. I had left the
-      curtains a little apart with an oblong of blind showing light between
-      them. Now there was a dark body moving stealthily either before or behind
-      this.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment I lay still, then, with a spring so violent as almost to
-      suggest that I had exercised some compulsion upon my movements, I leaped
-      out of bed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0111" id="linkimage-0111"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0308.jpg" alt="0308m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0308.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      The next instant the body had disappeared, and I heard a scraping noise,
-      apparently on the outside wall. I rushed to the window and drew aside the
-      blind. The casement was certainly open, but then I had left it so. I put
-      out my head and looked carefully over the garden. Not a movement anywhere,
-      not a sound. I waited for a time, but nothing more happened, and then I
-      went to bed again, first, I confess, closing and fastening the window; and
-      in a little the whole incident was lost in oblivion.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With the prosaic entry of daylight and a servant to fill my bath, I began
-      to wonder whether the whole thing was not a dream, and, in fact, I had
-      almost persuaded myself that this was the case when I spied, lying on the
-      floor below the window, a slip of paper. It was folded and addressed in
-      pencil to &ldquo;<i>M. d'Haricot, confidential.</i>&rdquo; I opened it and read these
-      words:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Beware how you betray! Lumme also is watched. Therefore be faithful,
-      if it is not too late!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What the devil!&rdquo; I said to myself, after reading these incomprehensible
-      words two or three times. &ldquo;Is this a practical joke&mdash;or can it be
-      from&mdash;?&rdquo; I hastily turned the scrap over, looked at it upside down,
-      and against the light, but no, there was no mark to give me a clew.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      So meaningless did the warning seem that before the day was far spent it
-      had ceased to trouble me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0112" id="linkimage-0112"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXIX
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Enter Tritculento brandishing a rapier. Ordnance shot off 'without.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Old Stage Direction.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0113" id="linkimage-0113"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9311.jpg" alt="9311 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9311.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HAT day slipped by smoothly and swiftly as a draught of some delicious
-      opiate, and every moment my fancy became anchored more securely to
-      Helmscote. But upon the next morning I received a letter from my Halfred
-      which, though it amused and moved me by the good fellow's own happiness,
-      yet contained one perplexing piece of news. I give the epistle in his own
-      words and spelling.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>DEAR Sir,&mdash;Hopping the close reached you safely i added the
-      waterprove coat for shooting in rain supposing such happened. Miss Titch
-      has concented to marry me some day but not now you being sir the objec of
-      my attentions for the present hence i am happy beyond expression also she
-      is and i hop you approve sir. Another package has come for Mister Balfour
-      not to be oppened and marked u d t which Mr. Titch says means undertake to
-      return but I have done nothing hopping I am right yours obediently ALFRED
-      WINKES.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No, Halfred, U. D. T. did not mean &ldquo;Undertake to return,&rdquo; but bore a much
-      graver significance, and this news made me so thoughtful that at least one
-      pair of bright eyes remarked it at breakfast.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No bad news, I hope,&rdquo; said Daisy, as we went together to the door to
-      inspect the weather.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;None that you cannot make me forget,&rdquo; I replied, with a more serious
-      gallantry than I had yet shown towards her.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A little rise of color in her face did indeed make me forget all less
-      absorbing matters.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By the time you leave us, you perhaps won't find us still so consoling,&rdquo;
-       she replied, with a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Don't remind me of that day,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It is a long way off&mdash;a
-      hundred years, I try to persuade myself!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Little did I think how soon fate would laugh at my confidence.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      To-day we were to shoot pheasants. The baronet had his arm out of the
-      sling for the first time, and this so raised his spirits that I felt sure
-      Dick's six months' probation were already divided by two, at least. Two
-      friends were coming from a neighboring house, and the other gun was to be
-      my second, Tonks, who was expected to stay for the night. Presently he
-      appeared and greeted me with a friendly grin.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You haven't got Lumme to fire at to-day,&rdquo; he remarked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I drew him aside.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tonks,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that incident is forgotten&mdash;also the cause of it.
-      You understand?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He had the uncomfortable perspicacity to glance over at Daisy as he
-      replied:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Right O; I won't spoil any one's sport.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This game of pheasant-shooting is played in England with that gravity and
-      seriousness that the Briton displays in all his sports. No preparations
-      are wanting, no precautions omitted. You stand in a specially prepared
-      opening in a specially grown plantation, while a specially trained company
-      of beaters scientifically drive towards you several hundred artificially
-      incubated birds invigorated by a patent pheasant food. Owing to the
-      regulated height of the trees and the measured distance at which you stand
-      these birds pass over you at such a height (and, owing to the qualities of
-      the patent food, at such a pace), and the shot is rendered what they call
-      &ldquo;sporting.&rdquo; Then, at a certain distance from his gun and a certain angle,
-      the skilful marksman discharges both barrels, converts two pheasants into
-      collapsed bundles of feathers, snatches a second gun from an attendant,
-      and in precisely similar fashion accounts for two more. The flight of the
-      bird is so calculated that the bad shot has little chance of hitting
-      anything at all, so that the pheasant may return to his coop and be
-      preserved intact for another day. When such a shot is firing, you will
-      hear the host anxiously say to the keeper at the end of the day: &ldquo;Did he
-      miss them all clean?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And if the answer is in the affirmative, he will add:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Excellent! I shall ask him to shoot again.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      A clean miss or a clean kill&mdash;that is what is demanded in order that
-      you may strictly obey the rules of the sport, and at my first stand, where
-      I was able to exhibit five severed tails, a mangled mass which had
-      received both barrels at three paces, and seven swiftly running invalids,
-      my enthusiasm was quickly damped by the face Sir Philip pulled on hearing
-      my prowess.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Never mind,&rdquo; said Daisy, who had come to see the sport, &ldquo;you couldn't
-      expect to get into it just at first.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Come and give me instruction,&rdquo; I implored her. &ldquo;Don't be in such a
-      hurry!&rdquo; she cried, as she stood beside me at the next beat. &ldquo;Look before
-      you shoot&mdash;that's what Dick always says you ought to do. Now you've
-      forgotten to put in your&mdash;wait! Of course! No wonder nothing
-      happened; you had forgotten to put in the cartridges. Steady, now. Oh, but
-      don't wait till it's past you! Dick says&mdash;Good shot! Was that the
-      bird you aimed at?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle, it was the bird a far-seeing Providence placed within the
-      radius of my shot. 'L'homme propose; Dieu dispose.'&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I shouldn't trust to Providence <i>too</i> much,&rdquo; said she.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, between Heaven and Miss Shafthead, aided, I must say for myself, by
-      a hand and eye that were naturally quick and not unaccustomed to exercises
-      of skill, I managed by the end of the day to successfully uphold the honor
-      of my country. The light was fading when we stopped the battue, the air
-      was sharp, and the ground crisp with frost. My fair adviser had gone home
-      a little time before, and, wrapped in pleasant recollections and
-      meditations, I had fallen some way behind the others as we walked homeward
-      across a stubble-field. The guns in front passed out through a gate into a
-      lane, and I was just following them when a man stepped from the shadow of
-      the hedge and said to me:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A gentleman would speak to you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I looked at him in astonishment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He was an absolute stranger, and his manner was serious and impressive.
-      Behind him, in the opposite direction from that in which my friends had
-      turned, stood a covered carriage, with another man wrapped in a cloak a
-      few paces in front of it, and a third individual holding the horse's head.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is the gentleman,&rdquo; added the stranger, indicating the man in the
-      cloak.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In considerable surprise I turned towards the carriage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. d'Haricot,&rdquo; said the shrouded individual.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis!&rdquo; I cried, in astonishment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was indeed none other than he whom I have before mentioned under the
-      name of F. II, secretary of the league, conspirator by instinct and
-      profession, by rank and name the Marquis de la Carrabasse.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What are you doing here, my dear Marquis?&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He regarded me with a fixed and searching expression.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The hour is ripe,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;The moment has come to strike! Here is my
-      carriage. Come!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For a moment I was too astonished to reply. Then, in a reasonable tone, I
-      said:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon, Marquis, but I must first take leave of my hosts.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You cannot.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That is to be seen,&rdquo; I replied, losing my temper a little.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Before I could make a movement the Marquis was covering me with a
-      revolver, and from the corner of my eye I could see that the man who had
-      first spoken to me had drawn one, too.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Enter the carriage,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;I do not trust you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0114" id="linkimage-0114"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0317.jpg" alt="0317m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0317.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Since you give me no alternative between a somewhat prolonged rest in
-      this ditch and the pleasure of your society, I shall choose the latter,&rdquo; I
-      replied, with as light an air as possible. &ldquo;But I warn you, Marquis, that
-      this conduct requires an explanation.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He continued to look sternly at me, holding his revolver to my head, but
-      making no reply, while, in as easy a fashion as possible, I strolled up to
-      the carriage.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then, to my surprise, I saw that they had employed one of the beaters to
-      hold their horse, a man whom I recognized at once as having carried my
-      cartridge-bag.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You may now go,&rdquo; said the Marquis to this man, handing him coin. &ldquo;And for
-      your own sake be silent!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I could have laughed aloud at the delightful simplicity of thus hiring a
-      stranger at random to aid in an abduction and then expecting him to keep
-      his counsel, had I not seen in it an omen of further failures. So certain
-      was I that the news of my departure would now reach Helmscote before night
-      that I did not even trouble to send a message by him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The man who had first spoken to me jumped upon the box and took the reins,
-      the Marquis and I entered the carriage, and through the dusk of that
-      winter evening I was carried off from Helmscote.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Now, M. le Marquis,&rdquo; I said, sternly, &ldquo;have the goodness to explain your
-      words and conduct to me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He looked at me intently for a moment and then answered:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;On your honor, are you still faithful?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you mean, monsieur?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Lumme has not betrayed us?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Lumme!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in astonishment, and then suddenly remembered the
-      warning paper. &ldquo;Did you throw that paper into my bedroom?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An agent threw it for me. Did you obey the warning?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Again I must ask for an explanation. What has M. Lumme to do with it and
-      what do you suspect me of?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. Lumme is in the English Foreign Office,&rdquo; said the Marquis, with
-      emphasis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0115" id="linkimage-0115"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0319.jpg" alt="0319m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0319.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And you suspect me of having betrayed my cause to him? On my honor,
-      monsieur, even were I inclined to treason I should as soon think of
-      confiding in that man whom you so rashly employed to hold your horse!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sir Shafthead is in the English government.&rdquo; said the Marquis, unmoved by
-      my sarcasm.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Sir Philip Shafthead was at one time a member of Parliament, but is so no
-      longer. But what of that?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have told him nothing?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have not.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have been watched,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Every movement you have made is known
-      to me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And why?&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Why should you think it necessary to watch me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why did you not send me any report yourself?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You did not ask for one.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I had not the honor to be informed of your address,&rdquo; said he.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I wrote to you as soon as I was settled in London, and to this day have
-      never received a reply.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You wrote?&rdquo; he exclaimed, with some sign of disturbance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did, I repeated, and I quoted some words I remembered from my letter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon!&rdquo; said the Marquis, &ldquo;I do remember now receiving that letter, but
-      I must have mislaid it, and I certainly forgot that you had written.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And, having forgotten an important communication, you proceed to suspect
-      me of treason! This is excellent, M. le Marquis!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; he replied, in an agitated voice, &ldquo;you then assure me I
-      was wrong in mistrusting you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Absolutely!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon me, my friend! I am overwhelmed with confusion!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He was so genuinely distressed, and the sincerity of his contrition was so
-      apparent, that what could I do but forgive him? But what carelessness,
-      what waste of time in dogging the steps of a friend, what indications of
-      mismanagement at every turn! And even at that moment I was apparently
-      embarked under this leader upon some secret and hazardous undertaking.
-      Well, there was nothing for it but to do my best so far as I was
-      concerned.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, here is the station,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;The train should now be almost due.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Train for London, sir?&rdquo; said the porter. &ldquo;Gone ten minutes ago. No, sir,
-      no more trains tonight.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Peste!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;Ah, well, my friend, we must look for some
-      lodging for the night.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But perhaps we might catch a train at another station,&rdquo; I suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, by driving ten miles we could just catch an express.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Bravo!&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;You are full of ideas, my dear d'Haricot.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And you?&rdquo; I said to myself, with a shrug.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We arrived just in time, and on the platform were joined by our driver.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let me introduce Mr. Hankey,&rdquo; said the Marquis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      So this was the elusive Hankey. Well, I shall not take the trouble to
-      describe him. Imagine a scoundrel, and you have his portrait. I was
-      thankful he did not travel in the same compartment with us, but evidently
-      regarded himself as in an inferior position.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You trust that man implicitly?&rdquo; I asked the Marquis, when we had started.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Implicitly!&rdquo; he replied, with emphasis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I do not,&rdquo; I said to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      By ten o'clock that night I was seated with the Marquis de la Carrabasse
-      in my own rooms, thinking, I must confess, not so much of politics and
-      dynasties as of the friends I had just lost for who could say how long.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0116" id="linkimage-0116"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0030" id="link2HCH0030"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXX
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Conspiracy requireth a ready wit&mdash;and a readier exit</i>.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Francis Gallup.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0117" id="linkimage-0117"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9323.jpg" alt="9323 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9323.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HE Marquis de la Carrabasse, secretary of the U. D. T.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      League, and known in their circles as F. II, enters this history so near
-      its end that I shall not stop to give a prolonged account of him. Yet he
-      was a person so remarkable as to merit a few words of description. The
-      inheritor of an ancient title, but little money; a Royalist to the point
-      of fanaticism; a man of wide culture and many ideas, and of the most
-      perfect simplicity of character and honesty of purpose, he had devoted his
-      whole life to the restoration of the monarchy, alternated during lulls in
-      the political weather by an equally feverish zeal for scientific
-      inventions of the most ambitious nature. Yet, owing to the excess of his
-      enthusiasm and fertility of mind over the more prosaic qualities that
-      should regulate them, practical success had hitherto eluded this talented
-      nobleman. His flying-machines had only once risen into the element for
-      which they were intended, and then the subsequent descent had been so
-      precipitate as to incapacitate the inventor for a month. His submarine
-      vessel still reposed at the bottom of the Mediterranean, and the last I
-      heard of his dynamite gun was that the fragments were to be found anywhere
-      within a radius of three miles around its first discharge. As to his
-      merits as a conspirator, my exile bears witness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet he was a man for whom I could not but entertain a lively affection. Of
-      medium height and slender figure, he had a large, well-shaped nose, a
-      black mustache tinged with gray, whose vigorously upward curl had a
-      deceptively truculent air at first sight, and a splendid dark eye, at
-      times piercing and bright and at others dreamy as the eye of a
-      somnambulist. Add to this a manner naturally courteous and simple, which,
-      however, he was in the habit of artificially altering to one of decision
-      and mystery, when he thought the rôle he was playing suited this
-      transfiguration, and you have the Marquis de la Carrabasse, so far as I
-      can sketch him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      We had only just seated ourselves in my room, when Halfred entered beaming
-      with pleasure at the prospect of seeing me again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'Appy to see you back, sir,&rdquo; he began, joyfully.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A most hunexpected pleasure, sir. I thought as 'ow you wasn't comin' till
-      hafter the festivities of Christmas, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But at this point his eye fell upon my friend the Marquis, and his
-      expression changed in the drollest manner. Halfred's British prejudices
-      had become adjusted to me by this time, but evidently the very appearance
-      of this stranger was altogether too foreign for him. He became abnormally
-      solemn, and handed me a budget of letters that had come this evening, with
-      no further comment, while his eye plainly said, &ldquo;Have a care what company
-      you keep!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      In the mean time my guest had been regarding him with a rapt and
-      thoughtful gaze, and now he said, in the most execrable English:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Vill you please get me a bread or biskeet?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Bread, sir?&rdquo; replied Halfred, starting and looking hard at him. &ldquo;Slice of
-      'am with it?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What did he say?&rdquo; the Marquis asked me, in French.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I explained.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, yes; some pork; certain! Vich it vill also quite good and so to be.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0118" id="linkimage-0118"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0326.jpg" alt="0326m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0326.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      What he meant by this riddle I cannot tell; but I can assure you he sent
-      the honest Halfred from the room with a very perturbed countenance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In a few minutes he had brought us some much-needed refreshments, and,
-      with a last dark glance towards my unconscious visitor, retired for the
-      night.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      On our journey the Marquis had kept his counsel with that air of mystery
-      he could assume so effectively, nor had I pressed him with questions; but
-      when our hunger was somewhat abated I began to consider it time that I was
-      taken into his confidence. For I had gathered enough to feel sure that
-      some coup was very shortly to be tried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;have you nothing to tell me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;First, my dear friend, read your letters,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But they can wait.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I beseech you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      A little struck by his tone, I opened the first, and as I read the
-      contents I could not refrain from an exclamation of astonishment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have unexpected news?&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;'The Bishop of Battersea has much pleasure in accepting M. d'Haricot's
-      kind invitation.'&rdquo; I read, aloud. &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I am to have a bishop to
-      dinner in three days' time; and a bishop I have never invited!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you sure?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Positive!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Read your other letters. Possibly they will throw light upon this.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I opened the next, and cried in bewilderment: &ldquo;Sir Henry Horley has much
-      pleasure also! But I have never asked him; I have only met him once at a
-      country house!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The Marquis smiled.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do not be too sure you have not asked these gentlemen,&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I swear&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Read this!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He handed me an invitation-card on which, to my utter consternation, I saw
-      these words engraved: &ldquo;Monsieur d'Haricot requests the pleasure of&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;company
-      to dinner to meet&mdash;&rdquo; and here followed a name it would be indecorous
-      to reproduce in these frivolous memoirs, the name of that royal personage
-      for whose cause we loyalists of France were striving!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;It is true?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That <i>he</i> is to honor me with his company?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Scarcely, my dear d'Haricot,&rdquo; said the Marquis, with a smile. &ldquo;But I have
-      full authority to take what steps I choose.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To employ this ruse?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Certainly, if I deem it advisable.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But to what end?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Listen!&rdquo; said he, his dark eyes glowing with enthusiasm and his face
-      lighting up with patriotic ardor. &ldquo;I have asked a party of your most
-      influential friends to dine with you, inducing them by a prospect of this
-      honor. You will tell them that his Highness cannot meet them there, but
-      that he bids them, as they reverence their own sovereign, to assist his
-      righteous cause. When they are inflamed with ardor, you will lead them
-      from the table to the special train which I shall have waiting. A picked
-      force will place themselves under our orders. By next morning the King
-      shall be proclaimed in France.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For a minute I was too staggered to answer him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But, my dear Marquis,&rdquo; I replied, when I had recovered my breath, &ldquo;<i>I</i>
-      cannot induce these sober and law-abiding Englishmen to follow me, perhaps
-      to battle.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not all, perhaps, but some, certainly. My dear friend, you have the gift
-      of tongues; you can move, persuade, influence to admiration. I myself
-      would try, but you know the English language better, I think, than I, and
-      then I am unknown to these gentlemen. Ah, you will not desert us,
-      d'Haricot! Your King demands this service of you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes; he mentioned your name when I spoke to him of our schemes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He wished me to perform this act?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I had not then arranged it. But is it for you to choose the nature of
-      your service?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If it is put to me thus, I shall endeavor to do my best,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But
-      I confess I do not care for this scheme of yours.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No use in protesting; the Marquis rose and embraced me with such
-      flattering words as I hesitate to reproduce.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is done! It is accomplished already!&rdquo; he cried.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I disengaged myself and endeavored to reflect. &ldquo;This is all very well,&rdquo; I
-      said. &ldquo;But of what use to us is a bishop?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We wish the support of the English Church.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And Sir Henry Horley?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Also of the nobility.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But he is scarcely a nobleman, only a baronet,&rdquo; I explained. &ldquo;And,
-      besides, I only know him slightly. He is not my friend.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Embrace him; make him your friend.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I fancied I saw myself; but what was the good in arguing with an
-      enthusiasm like this?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I proceeded to read my other answers, and I did not know whether to feel
-      more astonished at the list of guests or at the curious knowledge of my
-      movements and acquaintances which my visitor must somehow have acquired.
-      The acceptances included Lord Thane, with whom I had only the very
-      slightest acquaintance, Mr. Alderman Guffin, at whose house I had once
-      dined, one or two people of social position whom I had met through Lumme
-      or Shafthead, and General Sholto.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah, the General!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Well, he, at least, is an old soldier.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Be kind to him; he is our brightest hope,&rdquo; said the Marquis.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I looked at him in astonishment. &ldquo;What do you know of him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I could have sworn he blushed. &ldquo;What do I not know of all your friends?&rdquo;
-       he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Could it be from the inquiries of Hankey he had learned all this, and took
-      so much interest in my gallant neighbor? I remembered now how the General
-      had once met that disreputable individual. Yet it did not seem to me
-      altogether a complete explanation.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But conceive of my astonishment when, among the few refusals, I found one
-      from Fisher!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you know of him?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is a philanthropist. I regret that he cannot accept,&rdquo; said the
-      Marquis, with an air of calm mystery yet with another suggestion of flush
-      in his face. He knew of my philanthropic escapade, then&mdash;and how?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, at last, &ldquo;I am prepared to assist you in any way I can. In
-      the two days left I shall arrange my affairs&mdash;and now I must send
-      some explanation of my disappearance to Lady Shafthead.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He rose and grasped my arm.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not a word to her,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I do not trust the member of Parliament. We
-      must run no risk.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I protested, but no; he implored me&mdash;commanded me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A line to my friend Dick Shafthead, then?&rdquo; I suggested. &ldquo;He, at least, is
-      beyond suspicion.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My friend, we are serving the King,&rdquo; he replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I said, though my heart sank a little at this sudden rupture
-      with those kind friends.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      My visitor rose to depart, and just then his eye fell on two immense
-      packing-cases placed against the wall.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;they are safe, I see.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I took a lamp in my hand and came up to examine the latest arrived of
-      those mysterious gifts, whose source I now plainly perceived.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I should not let that lamp fall upon this box of bonbons,&rdquo; he remarked,
-      lightly, and yet with a note of warning.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why not, Marquis?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The little packet may explode,&rdquo; he laughed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Involuntarily I started.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It contains, then&mdash;?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The munitions of war,&rdquo; he answered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And the other?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Was to try you, my dear friend. It contains only bricks. Forgive me for
-      putting you to this test. I should not have doubted you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But to try me?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;How would you have known if I had called in a
-      detective?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The Marquis looked at me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I had not thought of that,&rdquo; he confessed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It was my turn to look at him, and, I fear, not altogether with a
-      flattering eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why was it addressed to Mr. Balfour?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A ruse,&rdquo; he replied, with his air of confident mystery returning
-      somewhat. &ldquo;A mere ruse, my dear friend.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I perceive,&rdquo; I said, a little dryly. &ldquo;Well, you can trust me for my own
-      sake not to explode this box; also to make the preparations for this
-      dinner.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My friend, I make them.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Read your invitation again.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I looked at the card sent out in my name, and then I noticed that an
-      address was placed in one corner, &ldquo;Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What is the meaning of this?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is a house I have hired for two weeks,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;The dinner, as
-      you see, takes place there. Hankey and I make all preparations.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I do nothing?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You prepare yourself for the hour of action. Brave friend, au revoir!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Au revoir, Marquis.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0119" id="linkimage-0119"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0031" id="link2HCH0031"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXXI
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>So you are actuated by the best motives? Poor devil! Have you tried
-      strychnine?</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;La Rabide.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0120" id="linkimage-0120"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9334.jpg" alt="9334 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9334.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HE next morning I called in Mr. and Mrs. Titch, Aramatilda, and Halfred,
-      and, in a voice from which I could not altogether banish my emotion, I
-      told them that I must give up my rooms and that they might never see me
-      again. From Halfred's manner I could not but suspect he was prepared for
-      ominous news; he had evidently concluded that a man who introduced after
-      dark such a visitor as I had entertained last night must stand on the
-      brink either of insanity or crime. Yet his stoical look as he heard my
-      announcement said, better than words: &ldquo;You may disgust my judgment, but
-      you cannot shake my fidelity. Through all your errors I am prepared to
-      stand by you, and brush your trousers even on the morning of your
-      execution.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Mr. Titch's sorrow was, I fear, somewhat tinctured by regret at the loss
-      of a profitable tenant, though I am sure it was none the less sincere on
-      that account.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What 'as to 'appen, 'as to come about, as it were, sir,&rdquo; he said,
-      clearing his throat for a further flight of imagery. &ldquo;You will 'ave our
-      good wishes even in furrin parts, if I may say so, which people which has
-      been there tells me is enjoyable to such as knows the language, and 'as
-      the good fortune for to be able to digest their vittles. We will 'old your
-      memory, sir, in respectful hestimation, and forward letters as may be
-      required.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Mrs. Titch being, as I have said before, a lady of no ideas and a kindly
-      heart, confined her remarks to observing:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;As Mr. Titch says, what has to be is such as we will hendeavor to
-      hestimate regretfully, sir.&rdquo; As for Aramatilda, she looked as though she
-      would have spoken very kindly, indeed, had the occasion been more private.
-      That, at least, was the sentiment which a wide experience enabled me to
-      read in her brown eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear Miss Titch,&rdquo; I said to her, &ldquo;I leave you in good hands. Next to
-      having the felicity myself, I should sooner see you solaced by my good
-      friend Halfred than by any one I can think of.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, sir,&rdquo; she replied, with a most becoming blush, &ldquo;you are very kind.
-      But that won't be till you don't require him no longer.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Right you are,&rdquo; said her lover, regarding her with an approving eye. &ldquo;And
-      Mr. d'Haricot ain't done with me yet.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I fear that I shall be in two days more,&rdquo; I replied, with a sadness that
-      brought a sympathetic tear to Aramatilda's eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That's to be seen, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, with resolution.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Well, I dismissed these good people with a sadder heart than I cared to
-      allow, and had turned to arranging my papers and collecting my bills, when
-      I was interrupted by the entry of the Marquis in person.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      He was busy, he told me, busy about many things; and his manner was
-      mystery itself. Yet even a conspirator is human, and evidently he had
-      other interests in London besides our plot. From one or two sighs and
-      tender allusions I shrewdly guessed the nature of these.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are not in love?&rdquo; he asked me, suddenly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In love!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in astonishment, for his previous sentence, though
-      uttered with a melancholy air, had referred to the merits of a new rifle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In love with a dark lady?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I started. Could he refer to Kate? Yes, of course, now I come to think of
-      it, he or his agents must have seen us together.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, Marquis, I give you my word I am not in love either with black or
-      brown,&rdquo; I answered, gayly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am glad, my dear friend,&rdquo; he replied, &ldquo;for I would not do you an
-      injury.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;An injury?&rdquo; I exclaimed, with a laugh. &ldquo;Would you be my rival?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, no,&rdquo; he said, though with some confusion. &ldquo;I meant, my friend, that I
-      would not like to tear you from her.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The conspirator must conspire,&rdquo; I said, with a smile.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;True; true, indeed,&rdquo; he replied, with a sigh.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Used as I was to the complex nature of my friend, I could not help
-      thinking that this was indeed a sentimental mood for one who was about to
-      undertake as mad and desperate an enterprise as ever patriot devised.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;To-morrow morning I shall not be available,&rdquo; he told me as he left; &ldquo;but
-      after that&mdash;the King!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You do not, then, prepare my dinner to-morrow morning?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No, monsieur, not in the morning.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      By that night I had made the few preparations that were necessary before
-      striking my tent and leaving England, perhaps forever. The next day found
-      me idle and restless, and suddenly I said to myself:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The most embarrassing part of this wild enterprise is being thrown upon
-      me. I want a friend by my side, and if the Marquis de la Carrabasse
-      objects, let the devil take him!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Ah, if I could have summoned Dick Shafthead!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But, having undertaken not to do this, I selected that excellent
-      sportsman, his cousin Teddy Lumme. His courage I had proved, his wisdom I
-      felt sure was not sufficient to deter him from mixing himself up with the
-      business, and as for any harm coming to him, I promised myself to see that
-      he did not accompany me too far.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I went to him, and having sworn him to secrecy, I told him of the dinner,
-      he, of course, knew that his father, the venerable bishop, was to be of
-      the party, and when he heard the part that the guests were afterwards
-      expected to play you should have seen his face.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course they will not listen to me for a moment,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;The idea is
-      absurd. But I am bound to carry out my instructions, and afterwards to
-      start upon this reckless expedition myself. I only ask you, as my friend,
-      to come to the dinner, and keep me in countenance, and afterwards take my
-      farewells to your cousins&mdash;I should say, to all my English friends.
-      Will you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Like a shot,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;I wouldn't miss the fun for anything. By Jove!
-      I think I see my governor's face! I say, you Frenchies are good,
-      old-fashioned sportsmen. You're going to swim the channel, of course?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      His mirth, I confess, jarred a little upon me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am serving my King,&rdquo; I reminded him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I know, I'd do the same myself if these dashed Radicals got into
-      power over here. A man can't be too loyal, I always say. All right; I'll
-      come. What time?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Eight o'clock.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      In the afternoon a decidedly disquieting incident occurred. Much more to
-      my surprise than pleasure, I received a brief visit from Mr. Hankey. I had
-      disliked the thought of this individual ever since my burgling experience,
-      and now that I saw him in the flesh I disliked him still more.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do you come from the Marquis de la Carrabasse?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;His Lordship has directed me to remove the packing-case to-night.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Take it,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;My faith! I prefer its room to its company! The
-      Marquis is at Beacon Street at present, I suppose?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;His Lordship is engaged.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Engaged?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Rather more than that,&rdquo; said Mr. Hankey, with a peculiar look. &ldquo;But he
-      will call upon you to-morrow and give you your orders.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My orders!&rdquo; I exclaimed, with some annoyance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0121" id="linkimage-0121"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0340.jpg" alt="0340m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0340.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;His Lordship used that expression.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Mr. Hankey looked at me as if to see how I liked this, and then, in a
-      friendly tone which angered me still further, remarked:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It's a risky job, is this.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A man must take some risks now and then.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If the police were to hear?&rdquo; he suggested.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who is to tell them?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It might be worth somebody's while.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And whom do you suspect of being that traitor?&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      With a very abject apology for giving any offence, Mr. Hankey withdrew.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They still suspect me!&rdquo; I said to myself, indignantly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Then another suspicion, still more unpleasant, struck me. Was Mr. Hankey
-      making an overture to me? I tried to dismiss it, but my spirits were not
-      very high that night, not even after the explosive packing-case had been
-      removed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Before retiring to bed on the last night which I was going to spend in
-      this land, a sudden and happy idea struck me. Not to write a single line
-      of explanation to my late hosts was ungrateful and unbecoming in one who
-      boasted of belonging to the politest nation in Europe. I had only promised
-      not to write to Lady Shafthead and Dick. Well, then, there was nothing to
-      hinder me from writing to Daisy. I admit that Sir Philip also was exempt,
-      but this alternative did not strike me so forcibly. If I posted my letter
-      in the morning, she would not get it till it was too late to take any
-      steps that might interfere with our plans. I seized my pen and sat down
-      and wrote:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Dear Miss Shafthead,&mdash;Truly you must think me the most ungrateful
-      and unmannerly of guests; but, believe me, gratitude and kind
-      recollections are not what have been lacking. I am prevented from
-      explaining fully, but I may venture to tell you this&mdash;since the
-      occasion will be past even when you read these lines; I am again in the
-      service of one who has the first call upon my devotion. Without naming
-      him, doubtless you can guess who I mean. Silence towards the kind Lady
-      Shafthead and towards my dear friend Dick has been enjoined upon me; but
-      since you were not specifically mentioned I cannot resist the impulse to
-      assure you of my eternal remembrance of your kindness and of yourself.
-      Convey my adieus to Sir Philip and to Lady Shafthead, and assure them
-      that their hospitality and goodness will never be forgotten by me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Tell Dick that I shall write to him later if fate permits me. If not, he
-      can always assure himself that I was ever his most affectionate and
-      devoted friend.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I leave England to-night on an adventure which I cannot but allow seems
-      hopeless and desperate enough, but, as I once said to you on a less
-      serious occasion, <i>'l'homme propose, Dieu dispose</i>.' The cause calls,
-      I can but obey! I know not what English customs permit me to sign myself,
-      but in the language of sincerity and of the heart, I am, yours eternally
-      and gratefully.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And then I signed my name, lingering a little over it to delay the curtain
-      which seemed to descend when I folded my letter and placed it in its
-      envelope.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0122" id="linkimage-0122"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0032" id="link2HCH0032"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXXII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Farewell, my friends, farewell! We have had some brave days together!</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Boulevardé.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0123" id="linkimage-0123"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9343.jpg" alt="9343 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9343.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HE momentous day had come. Looking out of my bedroom window in the
-      morning, I saw the sunshine smiling on the bare trees and the frosted
-      grass of the park. At that hour the shadows were long, and Rotten Row
-      quiet as a lonely sea-shore, so that a lively flock of sparrows seemed to
-      fill the whole air with their cheerful discussions, and I fancied they
-      were debating whether they could let me go away and leave forever this
-      little home that I had made.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I would stay,&rdquo; I said to them; &ldquo;I would stay if I could.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But, alas! it was to be my last day in England, the land I had first
-      regarded as so alien, and then come to love so well. And there was no use
-      standing here letting my spirit run down at heel.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet, when I came into my sitting-room and saw the bareness that had
-      already been made by my preparations for departure, the absence of little
-      things my eye had before fallen upon without noticing, and the presence of
-      a half-packed box in one corner, my heart began to feel an emptiness
-      again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I feel as a man must when he is going to get married,&rdquo; I said to myself,
-      and endeavored to smile gayly at my humor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Hardly had I finished my breakfast, endeavoring as I read as usual my
-      morning paper to forget that I was leaving all this, when I heard a quick
-      step in the passage, and with a brisk, &ldquo;Bon jour, monsieur!&rdquo; the Marquis
-      entered.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I thought, &ldquo;he is in his element. No regrets with him.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet, after the first alertness of his entry, I observed, to my surprise, a
-      certain air of sentiment about him, which, if it was not regret, was at
-      least not martial keenness.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You did your business yesterday?&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; he replied, in a grave tone, and with something like a tender
-      look in his eye. &ldquo;I did some private business of an unforgettable and
-      momentous nature, my dear d'Haricot. But not now; I shall not tell you
-      now. To-night you shall know.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Then, making a gesture as if to banish this mood, he threw himself into a
-      chair, and, bending his brows in a keen look at me, said:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But to business, my friend; to the business we are embarked upon.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Precisely,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I await it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In this house where you dine are two entrances. Your guests come in by
-      one, and you await them in the rooms I have set apart for you. In the rest
-      of the house I operate.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And what do you do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I gather our force. Men picked by my agents are to be invited to enter by
-      the other door. I offer them refreshments. They follow, or, rather,
-      precede me. In a lane at the back of the house is yet another door;
-      against it is drawn up a great van, a van used for removing furniture, a
-      van of colossal size. You see?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hardly; I fear I am stupid.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You do not see? Ah, my dear d'Haricot, eloquence is your gift,
-      contrivance mine. I have not invented a flying-machine, a submarine
-      vessel, and a dynamite gun for nothing. These men enter this van; the door
-      is closed upon them; it is driven to the station, put on board my special
-      train, and taken to the coast. They then emerge; I address them in such
-      terms as will make it impossible for them to withdraw, even if they wish&mdash;and
-      they are to be desperate, picked men; we arm them, and then to France! On
-      the coast of Normandy we will be met by five regiments of foot, two of
-      cavalry, and six batteries of artillery which I am assured will declare
-      for the King. Paris is ripe for a revolution. Vive le Roi! Why are you
-      silent? Is it not well thought of, my friend?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It is indeed ingenious,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But the carrying of it out I foresee
-      may not be so easy.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Nothing can fail. My confidence is implicit. Was I ever deceived?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I might with truth have retorted &ldquo;always,&rdquo; but I saw that I should only
-      enrage him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I shrugged my shoulders and asked:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You superintend the affair?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In the house. Hankey makes the arrangements at the station. Much is to be
-      done. One man to one task.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I? What do I do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You bring your friends to the station. At eleven precisely the train
-      starts. Do not be late.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But if they will not accompany me?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If all else fails, we go to France together. At least our brave
-      countrymen will not be afraid, whatever these colder islanders may do.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You may depend on me for that,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;By-the-way, I should tell
-      you that I bring a friend of my own to dinner&mdash;M. Lumme.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Lumme!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;You can trust him?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Implicitly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And I trust you. Bring him if he is brave.&rdquo; There was a minute's pause;
-      he had suddenly fallen silent.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is that all?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All for the present, my brave friend; au revoir! We meet at the station
-      at eleven precisely! Do not forget!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He leaped up with that surprising vivacity that marked his movements, and
-      before I had time to accompany him even as far as the door he had closed
-      it and gone. In a moment, however, I heard his voice outside, apparently
-      engaged in altercation with some one, and then followed some vigorous
-      expletives and a brisk sound of scuffling.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I rushed into the passage, and there, to my consternation, beheld my
-      friend retreating towards me before a vigorous onslaught by Halfred, who
-      was flourishing his fists and exclaiming, &ldquo;Come out, you beastly mounseer!
-      Come out into the square and I'll paste your hugly mug inter a cocked at!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Diable!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;Leetle bad man stop short! Mon Dieu! What
-      can it was?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Halfred!&rdquo; I cried, indignantly. &ldquo;Cease! What is the meaning of this?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, desisting, but unabashed at my anger.
-      &ldquo;You told me yourself, sir, as ow I was to do it.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I told you? Explain! Come into my room.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I brought the two combatants in, closed the door, and repeated, sternly:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Explain, sir!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;This is the furriner as haccosted Miss Titch, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred,
-      doggedly, &ldquo;and you said as 'ow I'd better practise my boxing on 'im. I
-      didn't spot 'im the other night, but Miss Titch she seed 'im this morning
-      and told me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I know not the meaning you mean when you speak so fast!&rdquo; cried the
-      Marquis. &ldquo;But I see you are intoxicate, foddled and squiff. Small beast,
-      to damn with you!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0124" id="linkimage-0124"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0348.jpg" alt="0348m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0348.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You just wait till I gets you outside,&rdquo; said Halfred, ominously. &ldquo;I'll
-      give you something to talk German about!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;German!&rdquo; shrieked the Marquis, catching at the only word he understood.
-      &ldquo;If you was gentleman not as could be which I then should&mdash;ha!&rdquo; And
-      he stamped his foot and made a gesture of lunging my retainer through the
-      chest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, you're ready to begin, are you?&rdquo; said Halfred, mistaking this
-      movement for the preliminary to a box and throwing himself into the proper
-      attitude.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;With your permission, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Stop!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You certainly have not my permission! I shall dismiss you
-      if you strike my guest again!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Yet I fear I was unable to keep my countenance as severe as it should have
-      been. I then turned to the livid and furious Marquis and explained the
-      cause of the assault.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Address that girl!&rdquo; cried he. &ldquo;It was to ask her questions&mdash;questions
-      about you, monsieur, when I wrongly distrusted you. This is a scandalous
-      charge!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But you see how liable your action was to misconstruction?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I see, I do see!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;He was right to feel jealous! I have
-      given many good cause, yes, I confess it. Explain to him.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I told Halfred of his mistake.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I takes your word, sir.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good young man,&rdquo; said the Marquis, turning to him with his finest
-      courtesy. &ldquo;I forgive. I admire. You have right. Many have I love, but your
-      mistress is not admired of me. She is preserve! Good-night, young man;
-      good-night, monsieur.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And off he marched as briskly as ever.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Halfred shook his head darkly.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Him being a friend of yours, sir, I says nothing,&rdquo; he observed, but his
-      abstinence from further comment was more eloquent than even his candid
-      opinion would have been.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I posted my letter, I smoked, I read a book to pass the time, and at last,
-      as the afternoon was wearing on, I went to my bedroom and packed a bag
-      containing a change of clothes and other essentials, for I remembered that
-      I should have to drive straight from the dinner-table to the train. I
-      looked out into the street; dusk was falling, the lamps were lit, the
-      lights of a carriage and the rattle of horses passed now and then, the
-      steady hum of London reached my ears. It was still cheerful and inviting,
-      but now my nerves were tighter strung and I felt rather excitement than
-      depression.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Monsieur! You in there?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      The voice came from my sitting-room. I started, I rushed towards the
-      welcome sound, and the next moment I was embracing Dick Shafthead. He
-      looked so uncomfortable at this un-English salutation that I had to begin
-      with an apology.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Never before and never again, I assure you!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;For the instant I
-      forgot myself; that is the truth. Tell me, what good angel has sent you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      For I knew his sister could not yet have received my letter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We were afraid you'd got into the hands of the police again, and I've
-      come prepared to bail you out. What the deuce happened to you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You heard the circumstances of my departure?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We heard a cock-and-bull story from a thickheaded yokel&mdash;something
-      about a pistol and a villain with a mustache and a carriage and pair; but
-      as we learned that you'd appeared at the station safe and sound, we
-      divided the yarn by five. I must say, though, I've been getting a little
-      worried at hearing no news of you&mdash;that's to say, the women folk got
-      in a flutter.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Did they?&rdquo; I cried, with a pleasant excitement I could not quite conceal.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Naturally, we are not accustomed to have our guests vanish like an Indian
-      juggler. I've come to see what's up.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I told him then the whole story, letting the Marquis's prohibition go to
-      the winds. He listened in amused astonishment.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, at last, &ldquo;it seems I've just come in time for the fair.
-      You've napkins enough to feed another conspirator, I suppose?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are the one man I want!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;That's all right, then,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I'd better be off to my rooms to
-      dress. Where shall we meet?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I will call for you soon after half-past seven. The house is not far from
-      the Temple, I believe.&rdquo; So now, thanks to Providence, I would have both my
-      best friends by my side. My spirits rose high, and I began to look forward
-      gayly even to urging a bishop to start by a night train with a
-      repeating-rifle.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Soon after seven Teddy appeared, immaculate and garrulous as ever, and in
-      high spirits at the thought of the shock his reverend father would get on
-      finding him included among the select party.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The governor's looking forward to having a great night of it,&rdquo; said this
-      irreverend son. &ldquo;Scratching his head when I last saw him, trying to
-      remember the stories he generally tells to dooks and royalties. I told him
-      he'd better get up a few spicy ones to tickle a Frenchie, don't you know.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0125" id="linkimage-0125"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0352.jpg" alt="0352m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0352.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My faith!&rdquo; I exclaimed; &ldquo;how disappointed they will all be! I scarcely
-      have the face to meet them.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Rot,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Do 'em good. Hullo! what's this bag for? Oh, I see,
-      you cross to-night, don't you? Is Halfred going with you?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I also looked at my servant in surprise. He was dressed in his overcoat,
-      and stood holding my bag in one hand and his hat in the other.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Going to take your bag down for you, sir,&rdquo; he explained.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I do not need you, my good Halfred. I was just going to say farewell
-      to you this moment.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I'm a-coming,&rdquo; he persisted.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Even against my wishes?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir, but that there furriner, 'e' s in this show, ain't he?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Why should you think so?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I smells a rat, sir, as soon as I sees 'im. I don't mean no offence, but
-      you don't know Hengland as well as I do. I'll come along, sir, and if you
-      happens to be thinking of a trip across the channel, I was thinking, sir,
-      a change of hair wouldn't do me no 'arm.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I cannot allow you! There is danger!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Just as I thought, sir; but I'm ready for 'em.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And, laying down the bag, he showed me the butt of an immense pistol in
-      his overcoat-pocket.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;you may not glitter, but you are of gold! Come, then,
-      my brave fellow, if you will!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Good sportsman, isn't he?&rdquo; said Teddy, as we drove off together.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At a quarter to eight we three, Teddy and Dick and I, alighted at number
-      Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand, to find Halfred and the bag awaiting us
-      outside the door. A waiter with a mysterious air showed us up a narrow
-      staircase into a small, well-furnished reception-room. Beyond this,
-      through folding-doors, opened a dining-room of moderate size, where we
-      found the table laid and ready. The man closed the door and disappeared,
-      and the four of us were left to await the arrival of my guests.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0126" id="linkimage-0126"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0033" id="link2HCH0033"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXXIII
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>The time has come, the very hour has struck when deeds most
-      unforgettable are due.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Ben Verulam.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0127" id="linkimage-0127"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9355.jpg" alt="9355 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9355.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      UARTER-PAST eight, and no sign of a guest!&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You are sure you asked 'em for eight and not eight-thirty?&rdquo; said Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Positive; it was on the card. I noticed particularly.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Perhaps they've gone to your rooms,&rdquo; suggested Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Scarcely. Some of them do not know my address, and this house was also
-      engraved upon the card.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We were sitting round the anteroom fire while Halfred waited in the
-      dining-room.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir,&rdquo; he observed, putting his head through the door-way.
-      &ldquo;But perhaps they've smelled a rat, like as I do.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Another quarter of an hour passed, and then we heard the sound of heavy
-      footsteps on the stairs; it sounded like several people. Then came a
-      knock. I opened the door and saw the waiter who had shown me in, and
-      behind him a number of as disreputable-looking fellows as I have ever met.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0128" id="linkimage-0128"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0356.jpg" alt="0356m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0356.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your visitors, sir,&rdquo; said the waiter, in his mysterious voice, though
-      with an evident air of surprise, and, I think, of disgust.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mine?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; Mr. Horleens, they wants.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I am not Mr. Horleens. There is some mistake here.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I addressed a few questions to one of the men, but he was so abashed at
-      the well-dressed appearance of myself and my two guests that, muttering
-      something about &ldquo;being made a blooming fool of,&rdquo; the whole party turned
-      and descended again.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It was the right word, sir,&rdquo; said the waiter to me. &ldquo;Some of 'em was to
-      ask for Mr. Horleens.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you make of that?&rdquo; I exclaimed, when they had all gone.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;They've mistaken the house, o' course,&rdquo; said Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Horleens, Horleens,&rdquo; repeated Dick, thought-fully. &ldquo;I have it! They meant
-      Orleans. They must be some of your gay sportsmen.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Of course!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;That must have been the password. Well, no doubt
-      they have found the proper door by this time. But I fear, gentlemen, that
-      we are to have this dinner all to ourselves.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Let's eat it anyhow,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I've a twist like a pig's tail.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      This sentiment being heartily applauded by Teddy, I rang for the waiter,
-      and we sat down to as excellent a dinner as you could wish to taste.
-      Certainly, whatever miscalculations the Marquis had made, this part of his
-      programme was successfully arranged and enthusiastically carried through.
-      We ate, we drank, we laughed, we jested; you would have thought that the
-      night had nothing more serious in store for any of us. Halfred, who helped
-      to wait upon us, nearly dropped the dishes more than once in his efforts
-      to control his mirth at some exuberant sally. It was not possible to have
-      devised a merrier evening for my last.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Here's to your guests for not turning up!&rdquo; cried Teddy. &ldquo;They'd only have
-      spoiled the fun.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And the average of bottles per man,&rdquo; added Dick.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes. Thank God I am not making an inflammatory speech to Sir Henry Horley
-      and the Bishop of Battersea!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;But, my dear friends&rdquo;&mdash;and
-      here I pulled out my watch&mdash;&ldquo;I fear I shall have to make a little
-      speech as it is, a farewell oration to you. It is now half-past ten. I
-      leave you in a few minutes.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The devil you do,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Teddy, the monsieur proposes to dismiss
-      us. What shall we do?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The monsieur be blanked!&rdquo; cried Teddy, using a most unnecessarily strong
-      expression. &ldquo;O' course we're coming, too.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But I shall not permit&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Silence!&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Messieurs, let us put on our coats! Halfred, load
-      that pistol of yours; the expedition is starting.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      No use in protesting. These two faithful comrades hilariously cried down
-      all resistance, and the four of us set off for the station.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      In a remote, half-lit corner of that huge, draughty building, we found the
-      special train standing; an engine, two carriages, and the great colored
-      van already mounted upon a truck. The Marquis met me with a surprised and
-      disappointed look.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is this all the aid you bring?&rdquo; he asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I do not know what mistake you have made, but my
-      guests never appeared.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is that the truth?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Pardon. I see; there must have been some error. Well, it cannot be helped
-      now. I, at least, have been more successful; I have got my men. Who are
-      these two?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I introduced my two friends, and we walked down the platform. As we passed
-      the furniture van I started to hear noises proceeding from inside.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do not be alarmed,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;I have explained that I am
-      conveying a menagerie.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We stopped before a first-class compartment. He opened the door and
-      invited us to enter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Do not think me impolite if I myself travel in another carriage,&rdquo; he said
-      to me. &ldquo;I have a companion.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;M. Hankey?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He also is here,&rdquo; he replied, I thought evasively.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Just before we started, Halfred put his head through our window and said,
-      with a mysterious grin:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The furriner's got a lady with him!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0129" id="linkimage-0129"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0360.jpg" alt="0360m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0360.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      But he had to run to his own carriage before he had time to add more. The
-      next moment the engine whistled and the expedition had started.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I don't quite know what the penalty is for this sort of thing,&rdquo; said
-      Dick, as we clanked out over the dark Thames and the constellations of the
-      Embankment. &ldquo;Hard labor if we're caught on this side of the channel, and
-      hanging on the other, I suppose; so cheer up, Teddy!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      At this quite unnecessary exhortation, Teddy forthwith burst into song.
-      You would have thought that these two young men, travelling in their
-      evening clothes and laughing gayly, were bound for some ball or carnival.
-      Yet they knew quite well they were running a very serious risk for a cause
-      they had no interest in whatever, and that seemed only to increase their
-      good-humor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What soldiers they would make!&rdquo; I said to myself.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But in the course of an hour or two our talk and laughter ceased, not that
-      our courage oozed away, but for the prosaic reason that we were all
-      becoming desperately sleepy. How long we took to make that journey I
-      cannot say. The lines seemed to be consecrated to goods traffic at that
-      hour of the night and our train moved by fits and starts, now running for
-      half an hour, then stopping for it seemed twice as long. At last I awoke
-      from a doze to find the train apparently entering a station, and at the
-      same instant Dick started up.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We must be nearly there,&rdquo; I said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My dear fellow,&rdquo; he replied, seriously. &ldquo;Are you really going on with
-      this mad adventure?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have no choice; but you&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Oh, I'm coming with you if you persist. But think twice before it's too
-      late.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Hey!&rdquo; cried Teddy, starting from his slumbers. &ldquo;Where are we?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Dick and I looked at each other, and, seeing that we were resolute, he
-      smiled and then yawned, while I let down the window and looked out.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Yes, we were entering a station, and in a minute or two more our journey
-      was at an end.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;There will be a little delay while we get the van off the train and the
-      horses harnessed,&rdquo; said the Marquis, coming up to me. &ldquo;In the mean time
-      there is some one to whom I wish to present you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He led me to his carriage and there I saw a veiled lady sitting. Even with
-      her veil down I started, and when she raised it I became for the instant
-      petrified with utter astonishment. It was Kate Kerry!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I believe you have met this lady,&rdquo; said the Marquis, in his stateliest
-      manner, &ldquo;but not previously as my wife.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your wife!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have, then, the honor of addressing the
-      Marchioness de la Carrabasse?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You have,&rdquo; said Kate, with a smile and a flash of those dark eyes that
-      had once thrilled me so.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We were married yesterday morning,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;That was the
-      business I was engaged upon. And now for the moment I leave you; the
-      general must attend to his command!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I entered the carriage, and there, from her own lips, I heard the story of
-      this extraordinary romance. The Marquis, she told me, had obtained an
-      introduction to her (I did not ask too closely how, but, knowing his
-      impetuous methods, I guessed what this phrase meant); this had been just
-      after the end of the mission, and his object at first was to obtain
-      information about me from one whom (I also guessed) he regarded as
-      probably my mistress; but in a very short time from playing the detective
-      he had become the lover; his suit was pressed with irresistible vigor, and
-      now I beheld the result.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;May I ask a delicate question?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, with all her
-      old haughty assurance.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What was it that moved your heart, that so suddenly made you love the
-      Marquis?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He attracted my sympathy.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Your sympathy only?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And my admiration. He is serving a noble cause.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Truly, my friend had infected his wife with his own enthusiasm in the most
-      remarkable way. &ldquo;Does your uncle know?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He might not approve of my friend.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My husband is a marquis,&rdquo; she replied, with an air of pride and
-      satisfaction that seemed to me to throw more than a little light on the
-      complex motives of this young lady.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now you propose to accompany him on this dangerous adventure?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Certainly I do! Where else should I be?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is fortunate, indeed,&rdquo; I said, politely.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Now I understand how my friend F. II had obtained all his information
-      regarding my movements and my friends and my different escapades, for in
-      the day's of Plato I had talked most frankly with his fair Marchioness. In
-      fact, I perceived clearly several things that had been obscure before.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But our talk was soon interrupted by the return of the happy husband.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;All is ready! Come!&rdquo; he said.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Undoubtedly, with his eyes burning with the excitement of action, his
-      effective gestures and distinguished air, his dramatic speech, not to
-      speak of that little title of marquis, I could well fancy his charming a
-      girl who delighted in the unusual, and was ready, as her uncle said, to
-      fill in the picture from her own imagination.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And so my dethroned divinity is the Marchioness de la Carrabasse!&rdquo; I said
-      to myself. &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I shall be curious to see the offspring of this
-      remarkable union!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0130" id="linkimage-0130"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0034" id="link2HCH0034"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXXIV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Et Balbus bellum horridum fecit.</i>&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;CONVULSIUS.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0131" id="linkimage-0131"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9365.jpg" alt="9365 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9365.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      HE Marquis led us from the station into a road, where we found the van
-      already under way and two carriages awaiting us. In one Dick and Teddy
-      were already installed; the Marquis and Kate entered the other. I joined
-      my friends, and Halfred sprang upon the box; and off we set for a
-      destination which our leader, after his habit, kept till the last a
-      profound secret. So far as I could see, our force consisted of the party I
-      have named, the men in the van, and the three drivers. Hankey, I presumed,
-      must be one of the last. Where we were to find a ship, and how soon we
-      were to find our French allies, I had no notion at all.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      That drive seemed as interminable as the railway journey, and certainly it
-      was far more uncomfortable. We were all three too sleepy to talk much,
-      but, to my constant wonder and delight, I found my two companions as ready
-      as ever to go ahead and take their chance of what might befall them.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; said Teddy, in a drowsy tone, &ldquo;do you think there's any chance of
-      getting a bath before we begin?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The despised sandwich would come in handy, too,&rdquo; added Dick. &ldquo;I say,
-      monsieur, why didn't you bring a flask?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and here it is.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He is another Napoleon,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Nothing is forgotten.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Meantime the day began to break, and, though the sun had not yet risen, it
-      was quite light when we felt our carriage stop.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Alight!&rdquo; said the voice of the Marquis. &ldquo;We have arrived!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      We were in a side track that ran through the fields of a sheltered valley;
-      on one side a grove of trees concealed us; on the other, through the end
-      of the valley and only at a little distance off, I saw something that
-      roused me with a thrill of excitement. It was the open, gray sea, with a
-      small steamboat lying close inshore.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Peste!&rdquo; cried the Marquis, taking me aside. &ldquo;Hankey is not here!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Not with us?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No; he must have been left at the station. It is a nuisance!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;It seems to me worse than that.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes, for we cannot wait; we must leave him behind. It is a great loss.
-      And now, my brave comrade, the drama commences&mdash;the drama of the
-      restoration! You will open the van, and as the men come out I shall
-      address them.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;In English?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Yes; I have prepared and learned by heart an oration. It will not be
-      long, but it will be moving. Ah, you will see that I can be eloquent!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      With his wife at his side, and the drivers a few paces behind him, he drew
-      himself up and threw out his chest, while I unlocked the door of the van.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Throwing it open I stepped back, curious to see the desperadoes he had
-      collected, and wondering how they would regard the business, while the
-      Marquis cleared his throat.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      A moment's expectant pause, and then&mdash;conceive my sensations&mdash;out
-      stepped, first, the burly form of Sir Henry Horley, then the upright
-      figure of General Sholto, next the benevolent countenance of the Bishop of
-      Battersea, and after him the remainder of my invited guests. The Marquis
-      had kidnapped the wrong men!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What the devil!&rdquo; began Sir Henry, glancing round him to see in what
-      country and company he found himself; but before there was time for a word
-      of explanation, the Marquis had launched upon his passionate appeal. As
-      the original manuscript afterwards came into my possession, I am able to
-      give the exact words of this remarkable oration.
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0008.jpg" alt="0008m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0008.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Brave, gallant men,&rdquo; he cried; &ldquo;you have come to share adventures
-      stupendous, miraculous, which you will enjoy! I lead you, my good
-      Britannic sportsmen, whither or why obviously can be seen, to establish
-      the anointed and legal King in his right country! To die successfully is
-      glorious! But you will not; you will live forever conquering, and
-      gratefully recollected in France!
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You&rdquo; [here he waved his hand towards the astonished baronet] &ldquo;will enjoy
-      drink of all beers and spirits that an English proverbially adores ever
-      after and always! Also you&rdquo; [here he indicated the dumfounded bishop]
-      &ldquo;will enjoy women, the most lively and sporting in the wide world, always
-      and ever after! Also you&rdquo; [pointing towards the substantial form of Mr.
-      Alderman Guffin] &ldquo;shall bask and revel in the land of song, of music, of
-      light fantastic toes, amid all which once and more having been never
-      stopping again bravo and hip, hip, my sportsmen! Once, twice, thrice,
-      follow me to victor!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      He stopped and looked eagerly for the fruits of this appeal, and his
-      Britannic sportsmen returned his gaze with interest. I am free to confess
-      that long before this my two companions and I had shrunk from publicity
-      behind the door of the van, awaiting a more fitting moment to greet our
-      friends.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Is this a dashed asylum, or a dashed nightmare?&rdquo; demanded Sir Henry.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Not quite comprehending this, but seeing that these recruits displayed no
-      great alacrity, the Marquis again raised his voice and cried:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Are you afraid, brave garçons?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But now an unexpected light was thrown on their captors.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Kate!&rdquo; exclaimed General Sholto in a bewildered voice.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      That the unfortunate General should have his domestic drama played in
-      public was more than I could bear. I stepped forward, and I may honestly
-      say that I effectually distracted attention. It was not a pleasant
-      process, even when assisted by the explanations of Teddy to his father and
-      the loyal assurances of Dick; but it at least cleared the air. As for the
-      unfortunate Marquis, his chagrin was so evident that, diabolically
-      unpleasant as he had made my own position, I could not but feel sorry for
-      him.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And so,&rdquo; he said to me, sadly, &ldquo;Heaven has been unkind to me again. I
-      acted for the best, my dear d'Haricot, believe me! But I fear I do not
-      excel so much in carrying out details as in conceiving plans. I see, it
-      was my fault! I allowed these gentlemen to enter that house by the wrong
-      door. Well, if they will not follow us&mdash;and I fear they are
-      reluctant, though I do not understand all they say&mdash;we three must go
-      alone!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Three?&rdquo; I asked.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My wife and you and I. Say farewell to your friends and come! The vessel
-      awaits us and our forces in France will at all events be ready.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But Heaven was to prove still more unkind to our unfortunate leader.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Who are these?&rdquo; I exclaimed.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;The English police!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;We are betrayed!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And indeed we were. A force of mounted policemen swept round the corner of
-      the wood and trotted up to us, and in the midst of them we recognized the
-      double-faced Hankey.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What do you want, gentlemen?&rdquo; asked the Marquis, calmly, though his eyes
-      flashed dangerously at the traitor.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;We come in the Queen's name!&rdquo; replied the officer in command. &ldquo;Are you
-      the Marquis de la Carrabasse?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I am.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I have a warrant, then, for your arrest.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But now, for the first time, fortune turned in the Marquis's favor, though
-      I fear it seemed to that zealous patriot a poor crumb of consolation that
-      she threw.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Instead of finding, as our betrayer had calculated, a crew of
-      suspicious-looking adventurers, he beheld a small party of middle-aged
-      gentlemen attired in evening clothes and anxious only to find their way
-      home again; and, to add to our good luck, when they came to look for our
-      case of arms and ammunition it appeared that the Marquis had forgotten to
-      bring it. Also, these same elderly gentlemen showed a very marked
-      disinclination to have their share in the adventure appear in the morning
-      papers, even in the capacity of witnesses.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      And, finally, as the French government had been informed of our plans for
-      some weeks past, so that we were absolutely powerless for mischief, the
-      police decided to overlook my share altogether and make a merely formal
-      matter of my friend's arrest.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;What will my King say?&rdquo; cried the poor Marquis. &ldquo;Oh, d'Haricot, I am
-      disgraced, and my honor is lost! Tell me not that I am unfortunate; for
-      what difference does that make? Such misfortunes must not be survived!
-      Adieu, my friend! Pardon my suspicions!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      Before I could prevent him, the unfortunate man quickly thrust his hand
-      into his pistol-pocket, and in that same instant would have blown out
-      those ingenious, unpractical brains. But, with a fresh look of despair, he
-      stopped, petrified, his hand still in his pocket.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;My revolver also is forgotten!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;I am neither capable of
-      living nor of dying!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thank Heaven who mislaid that pistol,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Had you forgotten your
-      bride, too?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I had! I thank you for reminding me. Ah, yes, I have some
-      consolation in life left, me!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      But though the Marchioness no doubt consoled him later, she was at that
-      moment in anything but a sympathetic mood.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Well, my dear,&rdquo; I overheard the General saying to her, &ldquo;as you make your
-      bed so you must lie in it. This&mdash;er&mdash;Marquis, doesn't he call
-      himself?&mdash;of yours hasn't started very brilliantly, but, I dare say,
-      by the time he has been before the magistrate and cooled down, and had a
-      shave and so forth, he will do better. I shouldn't let him mix himself up
-      in any more of these plots of his, though, if I were you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She tossed her head, and the defiant flash of her eyes told her uncle
-      plainly to mind his own business; but I fear his words had stung her more
-      than he intended, for when her husband said to her, dramatically, &ldquo;My
-      love, we have failed!&rdquo; she merely replied, with a sarcastic air,
-      &ldquo;Naturaly; what else could you have expected?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She beamed upon me with contrasting kindness, lingered to say farewell to
-      the admiring Teddy, who had just been presented to her, went by her uncle
-      with a disdainful glance, and then the happy couple passed out of this
-      story.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;A devilish fine woman!&rdquo; said Teddy.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Others have made the same reflection,&rdquo; I replied.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now, monsieur,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;I think it's about time we were getting
-      back to London, bath, and breakfast.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Carriage is ready, sir,&rdquo; said the voice of Halfred.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Whose carriage?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Carriage as we came down in, sir. I've give the driver the tip, and he's
-      waiting behind them trees.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;But what about all these unfortunate gentlemen?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Thought as 'ow they might prefer travelling in the van they comed in,&rdquo; he
-      replied, with a semblance of great gravity.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      But I had not the hardihood to do this, and concerning my journey to town
-      with my dinnerless, sleepless, and breakfastless guests, I should rather
-      say as little as possible.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I confess I envied the Marquis accompanying his escort of constables.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0132" id="linkimage-0132"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">
-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br />
-    </p>
-    <hr />
-    <p>
-      <a name="link2HCH0035" id="link2HCH0035"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div style="height: 4em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h2>
-      Chapter XXXV
-    </h2>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;<i>Adieu! I never wait till my friends have yawned twice</i>.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0133" id="linkimage-0133"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">
-      <img src="images/9374.jpg" alt="9374 " width="100%" /><br /><a
-      href="images/9374.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </div>
-    <p>
-      ELL, I am back in London after all, amid the murmur of millions of English
-      voices, the rumble of millions of wheels, the painted omnibus, and the
-      providential policeman&mdash;all the things to which I bade a long
-      farewell last night. And my reader, if indeed he has kept me company so
-      far, now fidgets a little for fear I am about to mix myself in further
-      complications and pour more follies into the surfeited ear. But no! I have
-      rambled and confessed enough, and in a few more pages I, like the Indian
-      juggler Dick compared me to, shall throw a rope into the sky, and,
-      climbing up it, disappear&mdash;into heaven? Again no! It may be a
-      surprise to many, but it was not there that these memoirs were written.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      To round up and finish off a narrative that has no plot, no moral, and
-      only the most ridiculous hero, is not so easy as I thought it was going to
-      be. Probably the best plan will be not to say too much about this hero and
-      just a little about his friends.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      As I had given up and dismantled my rooms, Dick insisted that I must
-      return to Helmscote with him that same day and finish my Christmas visit,
-      and need it be said that I accepted this invitation?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      At the station, upon our arrival in London, I parted with Teddy Lumme and
-      General Sholto.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;By-bye,&rdquo; said Teddy, cheerfully; &ldquo;I must trot along and look after the
-      governor; he's in a terrible stew; I don't suppose he has missed two meals
-      running before in his life&mdash;poor old beggar! It'll do him good,
-      though; don't you worry, old chap.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And with a friendly wave of his hand this filial son drove off with the
-      still muttering Bishop.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      The General wrung my hand, hoped he would see me again soon, and then,
-      without more words, left us. He was not so cheerful, for that final
-      escapade of his niece had hurt him more than he would allow. Still, it was
-      a fine red neck and a very erect back that I last saw marching down the
-      platform.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;And now, my good Halfred,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I suppose you fly to Miss Titch and
-      happiness? Lucky fellow!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I 'aven't been dismissed yet, sir,&rdquo; he replied, solemnly, and with no
-      answering smile, &ldquo;but if you gives me the sack, o' course I'll 'ave to
-      go.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Then you think I need your watchful eye on me a little longer?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      From the expression of that watchful eye it was evident that he was very
-      far from disposed to let me take my chance of escaping the consequences of
-      my errors without his assistance. Indeed, to this day he firmly holds the
-      opinion that it was his vigilance alone that insured so harmless an end to
-      our desperate expedition, and that if he had not stood by me I should have
-      conspired again within a week.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I puts hit to Mr. Shafthead,&rdquo; he replied, casting a glance at my friend
-      which might be compared to a warning in cipher addressed to some potentate
-      by an allied sovereign.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You certainly had better come down with us, Halfred,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;The
-      Lord only knows what the monsieur would be up to without you.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And accordingly Halfred went with us to Helmscote.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Behold me now once more beneath the ancient, hospitable roof, the kind
-      hostess smiling graciously, the genial baronet roaring with unrestrained
-      mirth at the tale of our adventures&mdash;and Daisy? She was not looking
-      directly at me; but her face was smiling, with pleasure a little, I
-      thought, as well as amusement. At night the same welcoming chamber and a
-      fire as bright as before; only this time no missives thrown through the
-      casement window. Next morning I am severely left alone; Dick has been
-      summoned by his father. Half an hour passes, and then, with an air of
-      triumph, he returns.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You'll have to look after yourself to-day, monsieur,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;I'm off
-      to town to bring her back with me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Her!&rdquo; So the stern parent has relented, and some day in the distant
-      future, I suppose, Agnes Grey will be Lady Shafthead and rule this house.
-      What Dick added regarding my own share in this issue I need not repeat,
-      though I confess it will always be a satisfaction for me to think of one
-      headlong performance, unguided even by Halfred, which resulted so
-      prosperously.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Being thus bereft of Dick, what more natural than that I should be
-      entertained by his sister?
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She speaks of Dick's happiness with a bright gleam in her eye.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;He should feel very grateful to you,&rdquo; she says.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      I should have preferred &ldquo;we&rdquo; to &ldquo;he,&rdquo; but, unluckily, I have no choice in
-      the matter.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I envy him,&rdquo; I reply, with meaning in my voice.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Her face is composed and as demure as ever, only her color seems to me to
-      be a little higher and her eye certainly does not meet mine as frankly as
-      usual.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Suddenly I am emboldened to exclaim:
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I do not mean that I envy him Miss Grey, but his happiness in being
-      loved!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      And then I tell her whose love I myself covet.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      She is embarrassed, she is kind, she is not offended, but her look checks
-      me.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How often have you felt like this within the last few months&mdash;towards
-      some one or other?&rdquo; she asks.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      Alas! How dangerous a thing to let the brother of the adored one know too
-      much! Dick meant no harm; he never knew how his tales would affect me; but
-      evidently he has jested at home about my amours, and now I am regarded by
-      his sister either as a Don Juan or a perpetually love-sick sentimentalist.
-      And the worst of it is that there are some superficial grounds for either
-      theory.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I cry, &ldquo;you have heard then of my wanderings in search of the ideal?
-      But I have only just found it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;How can you be sure of that?&rdquo; she asks, a little smile appearing in her
-      eye like a sudden break in a misty sky. &ldquo;You haven't known me long enough
-      to say. In a month you may make a jest of me.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am serious at last. I swear it!&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;I am afraid you will have to remain serious for some time to make me
-      believe it,&rdquo; she replies, the smile still lingering. &ldquo;When any one has
-      treated women, and everything else, flippantly so long as you, I&mdash;&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      She hesitated.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;You do not trust them?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; she confesses.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;If I am serious for six months will you trust me then?&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      &ldquo;Perhaps,&rdquo; she allows at last.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      It means a good deal, does that word, said in such circumstances, but I am
-      not going to drag you through the experiences of a faithful lover,
-      sustained by a &ldquo;perhaps.&rdquo; <i>Mon Dieu!</i> You have the privations of Dr.
-      Nansen on his travels to read if that is the literature you admire.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      No; in the words of Halfred on the eve of his nuptials with Aramatilda, &ldquo;I
-      ain't what you'd call solemn nat'rally but this here matrimonial business
-      do make a man stop talkin' as free as he'd wish.&rdquo;
-     </p>
-    <p>
-      I also shall stop talking, and, with the blotting-pad already in my hand,
-      pray Heaven to grant my readers an indulgent and a not too solemn spirit.
-    </p>
-    <p>
-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0134" id="linkimage-0134"> </a>
-    </p>
-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">
-      <img src="images/0379.jpg" alt="0379m " width="100%" /><br />
-    </div>
-    <h5>
-      <a href="images/0379.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>
-    </h5>
-    <div style="height: 6em;">
-      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
-    </div>
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-<pre>
-
-
-
-
-
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-facility: www.gutenberg.org
-
-This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
-including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
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-  <head>

-    <title>

-      The Adventures of M. D'haricot, by J. Storer Clouston

-    </title>

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-<pre>

-

-Project Gutenberg's The Adventures of M. D'Haricot, by J. Storer Clouston

-

-This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most

-other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions

-whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of

-the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at

-www.gutenberg.org.  If you are not located in the United States, you'll have

-to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this ebook.

-

-

-

-Title: The Adventures of M. D'Haricot

-

-Author: J. Storer Clouston

-

-Illustrator: Albert Levering

-

-Release Date: October 21, 2015 [EBook #50273]

-Last Updated: March 15, 2018

-

-Language: English

-

-Character set encoding: UTF-8

-

-*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT ***

-

-

-

-

-Produced by David Widger from page images generously

-provided by the Internet Archive

-

-

-

-

-

-

-</pre>

-

-    <div style="height: 8em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h1>

-      THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT

-    </h1>

-    <h2>

-      By J. Storer Clouston

-    </h2>

-    <h3>

-      Illustrated By Albert Levering

-    </h3>

-    <h4>

-      Harper And Brothers

-    </h4>

-    <h4>

-      New York

-    </h4>

-    <h3>

-      1902

-    </h3>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0001" id="linkimage-0001"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0001.jpg" alt="0001m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0001.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0002" id="linkimage-0002"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0008.jpg" alt="0008m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0008.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0003" id="linkimage-0003"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0010.jpg" alt="0010m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0010.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <b>CONTENTS</b>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0001"> Chapter I </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0002"> Chapter II </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0003"> Chapter III </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0004"> Chapter IV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0005"> Chapter V </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0006"> Chapter VI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0007"> Chapter VII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0008"> Chapter VIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0009"> Chapter IX </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0010"> Chapter X </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0011"> Chapter XI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0012"> Chapter XII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0013"> Chapter XIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0014"> Chapter XIV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0015"> Chapter XV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0016"> Chapter XVI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0017"> Chapter XVII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0018"> Chapter XVIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0019"> Chapter XIX </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0020"> Chapter XX </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0021"> Chapter XXI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0022"> Chapter XXII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0023"> Chapter XXIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0024"> Chapter XXIV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0025"> Chapter XXV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0026"> Chapter XXVI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0027"> Chapter XXVII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0028"> Chapter XXVIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0029"> Chapter XXIX </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0030"> Chapter XXX </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0031"> Chapter XXXI </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0032"> Chapter XXXII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0033"> Chapter XXXIII </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0034"> Chapter XXXIV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p class="toc">

-      <a href="#link2HCH0035"> Chapter XXXV </a>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      THE ADVENTURES OF M. D'HARICOT

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0004" id="linkimage-0004"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter I

-    </h2>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      &ldquo;Adieu, the land of my birth!

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      Henceforth strange faces!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Boulevarde

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0005" id="linkimage-0005"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9014.jpg" alt="9014 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9014.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      N my window-sill lies a faded rose, a rose plucked from an English lane.

-      As I write, my eyes fall upon the gardens, the forests, around my

-      ancestral chateau, but the faint scent is an English perfume. To the land

-      of that rose, the land that sheltered, befriended, amused me, I dedicate

-      these memoirs of my sojourn there.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      They are a record of incidents and impressions that sometimes have little

-      connection one with another beyond the possession of one character in

-      common-myself. I am that individual who with unsteady feet will tread the

-      tight-rope, dance among the eggs, leap through the paper tambourine&mdash;in

-      a word, play clown and hero to the melody of the castanets. I hold out my

-      hat that you may drop in a sou should you chance to be amused. To the

-      serious I herewith bid adieu, for instruction, I fear, will be

-      conspicuously absent, unless, indeed, my follies serve as a warning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And now without further prologue I raise the curtain.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The first scene is a railway carriage swiftly travelling farther and

-      farther from the sea that washes the dear shores of France. Look out of

-      the window and behold the green fields, the heavy hedge-rows enclosing

-      them so tightly, the trees, not in woods, but scattered everywhere as by a

-      restless forester, the brick farms, the hop-fields, the moist, vaporous

-      atmosphere of England.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Cast your eyes within and you will see, wrapped in an ulster of a British

-      pattern concealing all that is not British in his appearance, an exile

-      from his native land. Not to make a mystery of this individual, you will

-      see, indeed, myself. And I&mdash;why did I travel thus enshrouded, why did

-      my eye look with melancholy upon this fertile landscape, why did I sit sad

-      and sombre as I travelled through this strange land? There were many

-      things fresh and novel to stir the mind of an adventurer. The name, the

-      platform, the look of every station we sped past, was a little piece of

-      England, curious in its way. Many memories of the people and the places I

-      had known in fiction should surely have been aroused and lit my heart with

-      some enthusiasm. What reason, then, for sadness?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I shall tell you, since the affair is now no secret, and as it hereafter

-      touches my narrative. I was a Royalist, an adherent of the rightful king

-      of France.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0006" id="linkimage-0006"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8016.jpg" alt="8016 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8016.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      I am still; I boast it openly. But at that time a demonstration had been

-      premature, a government was alarmed, and I had fled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Hereafter I shall tell you more of the secret and formidable society of

-      which I was then a young, enthusiastic member&mdash;the Une, Deux, Trois

-      League, or U. D. T's, as we styled ourselves in brief, the forlorn hope of

-      royalty in France. At present it is sufficient to say that we had failed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Baffled hopes, doubt as to the future, fear for the present, were my

-      companions; and they are not gay, these friends.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I felt&mdash;I confess it now mirthfully enough&mdash;suspicious of the

-      porter of the train, of the guard, of the people who eyed me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I was young, and &ldquo;political offender&rdquo; had a terrible sound. The Bastile,

-      Siberia, St. Helena; were not these places built, created, discovered, for

-      the sole purpose of returning white-haired, enfeebled unfortunates to

-      their native land, only to find their homes dissolved, their families

-      deceased, themselves forgotten? The truth is that I was already in

-      mourning for myself. The prospect of entering history by the martyr's

-      postern had seemed noble in the heat of action and the excitement of

-      intrigue. Now I only desired my liberty and as little public attention as

-      possible. I commend this personal experience to all conspirators.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Such a frame of mind begets suspicions fast, and when I found myself in

-      the same compartment with a young man who had already glanced at me in the

-      Gare du Nord, and taken a longer look on board the steamboat, I felt, I

-      admit, decidedly uncomfortable. From beneath the shade of my

-      travelling-cap I eyed him for the first half-hour with a deep distrust.

-      Yet since he regarded me with that total lack of interest an Englishman

-      bestows upon the unintroduced, and had, besides, an appearance of honesty

-      written on his countenance, I began to feel somewhat ashamed of my

-      suspicions, until at last I even came to consider him with interest as one

-      type of that strange people among whom for a longer or a shorter time I

-      was doomed to dwell, He differed, it is true, both from the busts of

-      Shakespeare and the statues of Wellington, yet he was far from unpleasing.

-      An athletic form, good features, a steady, blue eye, a complexion rosy as

-      a girl's, fair hair brushed flat across his forehead, thirty years of

-      truth-telling, cricket-playing, and the practice of three or four

-      elementary ethical principles, not to mention an excellent tailor, all

-      went to make this young man a refreshing and an encouraging spectacle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Bah!&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;My friend may not be the poet-laureate or the

-      philanthropic M. Carnegie, but at least he is no spy.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      By nature I am neither bashful nor immoderately timid, and it struck me

-      that some talk with a native might be of service. My spirits, too, were

-      rising fast. The train had not yet been stopped and searched; we were

-      nearing the great London, where he who seeks concealment is as one pin in

-      a trayful; the hour was early in the day, and the sun breaking out made

-      the wet grass glisten.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, it was hard to remain silent on that glorious September morning, even

-      though dark thoughts sat upon the same cushion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Monsieur,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;the sun is bright.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With this remark he seemed to show his agreement by a slight smile and a

-      murmured phrase. The smile was pleasant, and I felt encouraged to

-      continue.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yet it does not always follow that the heart is gay. Indeed, monsieur,

-      how often we see tears on a June morning, and hear laughter in March! It

-      must have struck you often, this want of harmony in the world. Has it

-      not?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I had been so carried away my thoughts that I had failed to observe the

-      lack of sympathy in my fellow-traveller's countenance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly,&rdquo; he remarked, dryly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I said, with a smile, &ldquo;you do not appreciate. You are English.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0007" id="linkimage-0007"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0019.jpg" alt="0019m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0019.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;And you are French, I suppose?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At his words, suspicion woke in my heart. It was only as a Frenchman that

-      I ran the risk of arrest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No; I am an American.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This was my first attempt to disclaim my nationality, and each time I

-      denied my country I, like St. Peter, suffered for it. Fair France, your

-      lovers should be true! That is the lesson.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Indeed,&rdquo; was all he said; but I now began to enjoy my first experience of

-      that disconcerting phenomenon, the English stare. Later on I discovered

-      that this generally means nothing, and is, in fact, merely an inherited

-      relic of the days when each Englishman carried his &ldquo;knuckle-duster&rdquo; (a

-      weapon used in boxing), and struck the instant his neighbor's attention

-      was diverted. It is thanks to this peculiarity that they now find

-      themselves in possession of so large a portion of the globe, but the

-      surviving stare is not a reassuring spectacle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet I must not let him see that I was in the slightest inconvenienced by

-      his attitude. The antidote to suspicion is candor. I was candid.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I am told that I do not resemble an American, but my name,

-      at least, is good Anglo-Saxon.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And I handed him a card prepared for such an emergency. On it I had

-      written, &ldquo;Nelson Bunyan, Esq.&rdquo; If that sounded French, then I had studied

-      philology in vain.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am a traveller in search of curios,&rdquo; I added. &ldquo;And you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; he replied, with a trace of a smile and a humorous look in his

-      blue eyes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He was quite friendly, perfectly polite, but that was all the information

-      about himself I could extract&mdash;&ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; followed by a commonplace

-      concerning the weather. A singular type! Repressed, self-restrained,

-      reticent, good-humoredly condescending&mdash;in a word, British.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We talked of various matters, and I did my best to pick him, like his

-      native winkle, from the shell. Of my success here is a sample. We had (or

-      I had) been talking of the things that were best worth a young man's

-      study.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And there is love,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What a field for inquiry, what variety of

-      aspects, what practical lessons to be learned!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He smiled at my ardor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you ever been in love?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly,&rdquo; he replied, carelessly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But devotedly, hopelessly, as a man who would sacrifice heaven for his

-      mistress?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Haven't blown my brains out yet,&rdquo; he answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, you have been successful; you have invariably brought your little

-      affairs to a fortunate issue?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't know that I should call myself a great ladies' man.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly you are engaged?&rdquo; I suggested, remembering that I had heard that

-      this operation has a singularly sedative effect upon the English.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; he said, with an air of ending the discussion, &ldquo;I am not.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Again this &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; followed by a compression of the lips and a cold

-      glance into vacancy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, he is a dolt; a lump of lead!&rdquo; I said to myself, and I sighed to

-      think of the people I was leaving, the people of spirit, the people of

-      wit. Little did I think how my opinion of my fellow-traveller would one

-      day alter, how my heart would expand.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But now I had something else to catch my attention. I looked out of the

-      window, and, behold, there was nothing to be seen but houses. Below the

-      level of the railway line was spread a sea of dingy brick dwellings, all,

-      save here and there a church-tower, of one uniform height and of one

-      uniform ugliness. Against the houses nearest to the railway were plastered

-      or propped, by way of decoration, vast colored testimonials to the soaps

-      and meat extracts of the country. In lines through this prosaic landscape

-      rose telegraph posts and signals, and trains bustled in every direction.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; I said to my companion, &ldquo;but I am new to this country. What

-      city is this?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;London,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      London, the far-famed! So this was London. Much need to &ldquo;paint it red,&rdquo; as

-      the English say of a frolic.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is it all like this?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not quite,&rdquo; he replied, in his good-humored tone.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thank God!&rdquo; I exclaimed, devoutly. &ldquo;I do not like to speak

-      disrespectfully of any British institution, but this&mdash;my faith!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We crossed the Thames, gray and gleaming in the sunshine, and now I am at

-      Charing Cross. Just as the train was slowing down I turned to my

-      fellow-traveller.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you been vaccinated?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; said he, in surprise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      You see even reticence has its limits.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I thank you for the confidence,&rdquo; I replied, gravely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As he stood up to take his umbrella from the rack he handed me back my

-      card.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; he abruptly remarked, in a tone, I thought, of mingled severity

-      and innuendo, &ldquo;I should have this legend altered, if I were you.

-      Good-morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And with that he was gone, and my doubts had returned. He suspected

-      something! Well, there was nothing to be done but maintain a stout heart

-      and trust to fortune. And it takes much to drive gayety from my spirits

-      for long. I was a fugitive, a stranger, a foreigner, but I hummed a tune

-      cheerfully as I waited my turn for the ordeal of the custom-house. And

-      here came one good omen. My appearance was so deceptively respectable, and

-      my air so easy, that not a question was asked me. One brief glance at my

-      dress-shirts and I was free to drive into the streets and lose myself in

-      the life of London.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Lose myself, do I say? Yes, indeed, and more than myself, too. My friends,

-      my interests, my language, my home; all these were lost as utterly as

-      though I had dropped them overboard In the Channel. I had not time to

-      obtain even one single introduction before I left, or further counsel than

-      I remembered from reading English books. And I assure you it is not so

-      easy to benefit by the experiences of Mr. Pickwick and Miss Sharp as it

-      may seem. Stories may be true to life, but, alas! life is not so true to

-      stories.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Fortunately, I could talk and read English well&mdash;even, I may say,

-      fluently; also I had the spirit of my race; and finally&mdash;and,

-      perhaps, most fortunately&mdash;I was not too old to learn.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0008" id="linkimage-0008"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter II

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>In that city, sire, even the manner of breathing was different.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;PIZARRO.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0009" id="linkimage-0009"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9025.jpg" alt="9025 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9025.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      WAS in London, the vastest collection of people and of houses this world

-      has ever seen; the ganglion, the museum, the axle of the English race; the

-      cradle of much of their genius and most of their fogs; the home of Dr.

-      Johnson, the bishops of Canterbury, the immortal Falstaff, the effigied

-      Fawkes; also the headquarters of all the profitable virtues, all the

-      principles of business. With an abandon and receptivity which I am pleased

-      to think the Creator has reserved as a consolation for the non-English, I

-      had hardly been half an hour in the city before I had become infected with

-      something of its spirit.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Goddam! What ho!&rdquo; I said to myself, in the English idiom. &ldquo;For months,

-      for years, forever, perhaps, I am to live among this incomprehensible

-      people. Well, I shall strive to learn something, and, by Great Scotland!

-      to enjoy something.&rdquo; So I turned up my trousers and sallied out of my

-      hotel.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, this was life, indeed, I had come into; not more so than Paris, but

-      differently so. Stolidly, good-naturedly, and rapidly the citizens

-      struggle along through the crowds on the pavement. They seem like helpless

-      straws revolving in a whirlpool. Yet does one of them wish to cross the

-      street? Instantly a constable raises a finger, the traffic of London is

-      stopped, and Mr. Benjamin Bull, youngest and least important son of John,

-      passes uninjured to the farther side.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is this street?&rdquo; I ask one of these officers, as he stands in the

-      midst of a crossing, signalling which cab or dray shall pass him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Strand,&rdquo; says he, stopping five omnibuses to give me this information.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where does it lead me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Which way do you wish to proceed?&rdquo; he inquires, politely, still detaining

-      the omnibuses.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;East,&rdquo; I reply, at a venture.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;First to the right, second to the left, third to the right again, and

-      take the blue bus as far as the Elephant and Angel,&rdquo; he answers, without

-      any hesitation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A thousand thanks,&rdquo; I gasp. &ldquo;I think, on the whole, I should be safer to

-      go westward.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He waves his hand, the omnibuses (which by this time have accumulated to

-      the number of fourteen) proceed upon their journey, and I, had I the key

-      to the cipher, should doubtless be in possession of valuable information.

-      Such is one instance of the way in which the Londoner's substitute for

-      Providence does its business.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I shall not attempt to give at this point an exhaustive description of

-      London. The mandates of fortune sent me at different times to enjoy

-      amusing and embarrassing experiences in various quarters of the city, and

-      these I shall touch upon in their places. It is sufficient to observe at

-      present that London is a name for many cities.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A great town, like a great man, is made up of various characters strung

-      together. Just as the soldier becomes at night the lover and next morning

-      the philosopher, so a city is on the east a factory, on the west a palace,

-      on the north a lodging-house. So it is with Paris, with Berlin, with all.

-      But London is so large, so devoid of system in its creation and in its

-      improvements, so variously populated, that it probably exceeds any in its

-      variety.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      No emperor or council of city fathers mapped the streets or regulated the

-      houses. What edifice each man wanted that he built, guided only by the

-      length of his purse and the depth of his barbarism; while the streets on

-      which this arose is either the same roadway as once served the Romans, or

-      else the speculative builder's idea of best advancing the interests of his

-      property. Then some day comes a great company who wish to occupy a hundred

-      metres of frontage and direct attention to their business. So many houses

-      are pulled down and replaced by an erection twice the height of anything

-      else, and designed, as far as possible, to imitate the cries and costume

-      of a bookmaker. And all this time there are surviving, in nooks and

-      corners, picturesque and venerable buildings of a by-gone age, and also,

-      of late, are arising on all sides worthy and dignified new piles.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      So that the history of each house and each street, the mental condition of

-      their architects and the financial condition of their occupants, are

-      written upon them plainly with a smoky finger. For you see all this

-      through an atmosphere whose millions of molecules of carbon and of aqueous

-      vapor darken the bricks and the stones, and hang like a veil of fine gauze

-      before them. London is huge, but the eternal mistiness makes it seem huger

-      still, for however high a building you climb, you can see nothing but

-      houses and yet more houses, melting at what looks a vast distance into the

-      blue-and-yellow haze. Really, there may be green woods and the fair slopes

-      of a country-side within a few miles, but since you cannot see them your

-      heart sinks, and you believe that such good things must be many leagues

-      below the brick horizon. More than once upon a Sunday morning, when the

-      air was clear, I have been startled to see from the Strand itself a

-      glimpse of the Surrey hills quite near and very beautiful, and I have

-      said, &ldquo;Thank God for this!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0010" id="linkimage-0010"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0029.jpg" alt="0029m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0029.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      It was in the morning that I arrived in London, and my first day I spent

-      in losing my way through the labyrinth of streets, which are set never at

-      a right angle to one another, and are of such different lengths that I

-      could scarcely persuade myself it had not all been specially arranged to

-      mislead me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      About one o'clock I entered a restaurant and ordered a genuine English

-      steak&mdash;the porter-house, it was called. In quality, I admit this

-      segment of an ox was admirable; but as for its quantity&mdash;my faith! I

-      ate it till half-past two and scarcely had made an impression then. Half

-      stupefied with this orgy, and the British beer I had taken to assist me in

-      the protracted effort, I returned to my hotel, and there began the journal

-      on which these memoirs are founded. As showing my sensations at the time,

-      they are now of curious interest to me. I shall give the extract I wrote

-      then:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Amusing, absorbing, entertaining as a Chinese puzzle where all the

-      pieces are alive; all these things is the city of London. Why, then, has

-      it already begun to pall upon me? Ah, it is the loneliness of a crowd! In

-      Paris I can walk by the hour and never see a face I know, and yet not feel

-      this sense of desolation. Friends need not be before the eye, but they

-      must be at hand when you wish to call them. For myself, I call them pretty

-      frequently, yet often can remain for a time content to merely know that

-      they are somewhere not too far away. But here&mdash;I may turn north,

-      south, east, or west, and walk as far as I like in any direction, and not

-      one should I find!</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Shall I ever make a friend among this old, phlegmatic, business-like

-      people? Some day perhaps, an acquaintance may be struck with some such

-      reticent and frigid monster as my fair-haired companion of the journey.

-      Would such a one console or cheer or share a single sentiment? Impossible!

-      Mon Dieu! I shall leave this town in three days; I swear it. And where

-      then? The devil knows!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this point the writing of these notes was unexpectedly interrupted,

-      only to be resumed, as it chanced, after some adventurous days.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A waiter entered, bearing a letter for me. I sprang up and seized it

-      eagerly. It was addressed to Mr. Nelson Bunyan, Esq., and marked

-      &ldquo;Immediate and confidential.&rdquo; These words were written in English and

-      execrably misspelled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It could come from but one source, for who else knew my <i>nom de plume</i>,

-      who else would write &ldquo;Immediate and confidential,&rdquo; and, I grieve to say

-      it, who else would take their precautions in such a way as instantly to

-      raise suspicions? Had the secretary of the &ldquo;Une, Deux, Trois&rdquo; no English

-      dictionary, that he need make the very waiter stare at this very

-      extraordinary address? I did my best to pass it off lightly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;From a lady,&rdquo; I said to the man. &ldquo;One not very well educated, perhaps;

-      but is education all we seek in women?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, replying to my glance with insufferable familiarity,

-      &ldquo;not all by no means.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Alas that the fugitive cannot afford to take offence!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I opened the letter, and, as I expected, it was headed by the letters U.

-      D. T:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Go at once to the house of Mr. Frederick Hankey, No. 114 or 115 George

-      Road, Streatham. Knock thrice on the third window, and when he comes say

-      distinctly 'For the King.' He will give directions for your safety.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This missive was only signed F. II, but, of course, I knew the writer&mdash;our

-      most indefatigable, our most enthusiastic, the secretary himself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, here was something to be done; a friend, perhaps, to be made; a

-      spice of interest suddenly thrown into this city of strangers. After my

-      fashion, my spirits rose as quickly as they had fallen. I whistled an air,

-      and began to think this somewhat dreary hotel not a bad place, after all.

-      I should only wait till darkness fell and then set out to interview Mr.

-      Frederick Hankey.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0011" id="linkimage-0011"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter III

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>What door will fit this key?</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Castillo Soprani.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0012" id="linkimage-0012"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9033.jpg" alt="9033 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9033.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      S I ate my solitary dinner before starting upon my expedition to Mr.

-      Hankey's house, I began to think less enthusiastically of the adventure.

-      Here was I; comfortable in my hotel, though, I admit, rather lonely; safe,

-      so far, and apparently suspected by none to be other than the blameless

-      Bunyan. Besides, now that I could find a friend for the seeking, my

-      loneliness suddenly diminished. Also I was buoyed by the thought that I

-      was a real adventurer, a romantic exile, as much so, in fact, as Prince

-      Charles of Scotland or my own beloved king. Now I was to knock upon the

-      window of a house that might be either number 114 or 115, and give myself

-      blindfold to strangers.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet on second thoughts I reflected that I knew nothing of English laws or

-      English ways. Was I not in &ldquo;perfidious Albion,&rdquo; and might I not be handed

-      over to the French government in defiance of all treaties, in order to

-      promote the insidious policy of Chamberlain? Yes, I should go, after all,

-      and I drank to the success of my adventure in a bottle of wine that sent

-      me forth to the station in as gay a spirit as any gallant could wish.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0013" id="linkimage-0013"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0034.jpg" alt="0034m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0034.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      I had made cautious inquiries, asking of different servants at the hotel,

-      and I had little difficulty in making my way by train as far as the suburb

-      in which Mr. Hankey lived. There I encountered the first disquieting

-      circumstance. Inquiring of a policeman, I found there was no such place as

-      George Road, but a St. George's Road was well known to him. If F. II had

-      been so inaccurate in one statement, might he not be equally so in

-      another?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I may mention here that the name of this road is my own invention. The

-      mistake was a similar one to that I have narrated. In all cases I have

-      altered the names of my friends and their houses, as these events happened

-      so recently that annoyance might be caused, for the English are a reticent

-      nation, and shrink from publicity as M. Zola did from oblivion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Up an immensely long and very dark road I went, studying the numbers of

-      the houses on either side, and here at once a fresh difficulty presented

-      itself. In an English suburb it is the custom to conceal the number

-      provided by the municipal authorities, and decorate the gates instead with

-      a fanciful or high-sounding title. Thus I passed &ldquo;Blenheim Lodge,&rdquo;

-       &ldquo;Strathcory,&rdquo; &ldquo;Rhododendron Grove,&rdquo; and many other such residences, but

-      only here and there could I find a number to guide me. By counting from

-      84, I came at last upon two houses standing with their gates close

-      together that must either be 114 and 115, or 115 and 116. I could not be

-      sure which, nor in either case did I know whether the one or the other

-      sheltered the conspiring Hankey. The gate on the left was labelled

-      &ldquo;Chickawungaree Villa,&rdquo; that on the right &ldquo;Mount Olympus House.&rdquo; In the

-      house I could see through the trees that all was darkness, and the gate

-      was so shabby as to suggest that no one lived there. In the villa, on the

-      contrary, I saw two or three lighted windows. I determined to try the

-      villa.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The drive wound so as to encircle what appeared in the darkness to be a

-      tennis-court and an arbor, and finally emerged through a clump of trees

-      before a considerable mansion. And here I was confronted by another

-      difficulty. My directions said, knock upon the third window. But there

-      were three on either side of the front door, and then how did I know that

-      Hankey might not prefer me to knock upon his back or his side windows? My

-      friend F. II might be a martyr and a patriot; but business-like? No.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Blind fortune is the goddess to-night,&rdquo; I said to myself, and with that I

-      tapped gently upon the third window from the door counting towards the

-      right. I have often since consoled myself by thinking that I should have

-      exhibited no greater intuition had I counted towards the left.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I tap three times. No answer. Again three times. Still no answer. It was

-      diabolically dark, and the trees made rustling noises very disconcerting

-      to the nerves of one unaccustomed to practise these preliminaries before

-      calling upon a friend.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The devil!&rdquo; I say to myself. &ldquo;This time I shall make Mr. Hankey hear me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And so I knocked very sharply and loudly, so sharply that I cracked the

-      pane.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Unfortunate,&rdquo; I thought; &ldquo;but why should I not convert Hankey's

-      misfortune into my advantage?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With the intention of perhaps obtaining a glimpse into the room, I pushed

-      the pane till, with an alarming crash, a considerable portion fell upon

-      the gravel.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0014" id="linkimage-0014"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9037.jpg" alt="9037 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9037.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      With a start I turned, and there, approaching me from either side, were

-      two men. Hankey had evidently heard me at last.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; said one of them, a stout gentleman, I could see, with a

-      consequential voice. I came a step towards him. &ldquo;For the King,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He seemed to be staring at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What the devil&mdash;?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in surprise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My heart began to sink.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are Mr. Hankey?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am not,&rdquo; he replied, with emphasis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Here was a delicate predicament!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But I was not yet at the end of my resources.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I inquire your name?&rdquo; I asked, politely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My name is Fisher,&rdquo; he said, with a greater air of consequence than ever,

-      but no greater friendliness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What, Fisher himself!&rdquo; I exclaimed, with pretended delight. &ldquo;This is

-      indeed a fortunate coincidence! How are you, Fisher?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Still no answer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I held out my hand, but this monster of British brutality paid no

-      attention to my overture.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who are you?&rdquo; he asked once more.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Not having yet made up my mind who I was, I thought it better to

-      temporize.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My explanations will take a few minutes, I am afraid,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;The

-      hour also is late. May I call upon you in the morning?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I think you had better step in and explain now,&rdquo; said Fisher, curtly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      They were two to one, and very close to me, while I was hampered with my

-      British ulster. I must trust to my wits to get me safely out of this house

-      again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall be charmed, if I am not disturbing you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are disturbing me,&rdquo; said the inexorable Fisher. &ldquo;In fact, you have

-      been causing a considerable disturbance, and I should like to know the

-      reason.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Under these cheerful circumstances I entered Chickawungaree Villa, Fisher

-      preceding me, and the other man, whom I now saw to be his butler, walking

-      uncomfortably close behind.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Step in here,&rdquo; said Fisher. He showed me into what was evidently his

-      dining-room, and then, after saying a few words in an undertone to his

-      servant, he closed the door, drew forward a chair so as to cut off my

-      possible line of flight, sat upon it, and breathed heavily towards me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Figure to yourself my situation. A large, red-faced, gray-whiskered

-      individual, in a black morning-coat and red slippers, staring stolidly at

-      me from a meat-eating eye; name Fisher, but all other facts concerning him

-      unknown.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0015" id="linkimage-0015"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0039.jpg" alt="0039m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0039.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      A stiff, uninhabited-looking apartment of considerable size, lit with the

-      electric light, upholstered in light wood and new red leather, and

-      ornamented by a life-sized portrait of Fisher himself, this picture being

-      as uncompromising and apoplectic as the original. Finally, standing in an

-      artificially easy attitude before a fireplace containing a frilled

-      arrangement of pink paper, picture an exceedingly uncomfortable Frenchman.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You scarcely expected me?&rdquo; I begin, with a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did not,&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did not expect to see you,&rdquo; I continue; but to this he makes no reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I was looking for the house of Mr. Hankey.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Were you?&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you know him?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A pause. The campaign has opened badly; no doubt of that. I must try

-      another move.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will wonder how I knew him,&rdquo; I say, pleasant.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Fisher only breathes more heavily.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Our mutual friend, Smith,&rdquo; I begin, watching closely to see if his mind

-      responds to this name. I know that Smith is common in England, and think

-      he will surely know some one so called. &ldquo;Smith mentioned you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But no, there is no gleam of recognition.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Indeed,&rdquo; is all he remarks, very calmly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      There is no help for it, I must go on.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I intended to call upon you some day this week. I have heard you highly

-      spoken of&mdash;'The great Fisher,' 'The famous Fisher.' Indeed, sir, I

-      assure you, your name is a household word in Scotland.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I choose Scotland because I know its accent is different from English. My

-      own also is different. Therefore I shall be Scotch. Unhappy selection!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you mean to pretend you are Scotch?&rdquo; says Fisher, frowning as well as

-      breathing at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I must withdraw one foot.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Half Scotch, half Italian,&rdquo; I reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, France, why did I deny you? I was afraid to own you, I blush to

-      confess it. And I was righteously punished.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Italian?&rdquo; says he, with more interest. &ldquo;Ah, indeed!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0016" id="linkimage-0016"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9041.jpg" alt="9041 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9041.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      He stares more intently, frowns more portentously, and respires more

-      loudly than ever.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A charming country,&rdquo; I say.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No doubt,&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At this moment the door opens behind him and a lady appears. She has a

-      puffy cheek, a pale eye, a comfortable figure, a curled fringe of gray

-      hair, and slightly projecting teeth; in a word, the mate of Fisher. There

-      can be no mistake, and I am quick to seize the chance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear Mrs. Fisher!&rdquo; I exclaim, advancing towards her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With a movement like a hippopotamus wallowing, Fisher places himself

-      between us. Does he think I have come to elope with her?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I assume the indignant rôle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mr. Fisher!&rdquo; I cry, much hurt at this want of confidence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is this gentleman?&rdquo; asks Mrs. Fisher, looking at me, I think, with a

-      not altogether disapproving glance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ask him,&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Madame,&rdquo; I say, with a bow, &ldquo;I am an unfortunate stranger, come to pay my

-      respects to Mr. Fisher and his beautiful lady. I wish you could explain my

-      reception.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is your name?&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher, with comparative graciousness,

-      considering that she is a bourgeois Englishwoman taken by surprise, and

-      fearing both to be cold to a possible man of position and to be friendly

-      with a possible nobody.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A name I must have, and I must also invent it at once, and it must be

-      something both Scotch and Italian. I take the first two that come into my

-      head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dugald Cellarini,&rdquo; I reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      They look at one another dubiously. I must put them at their ease at any

-      cost.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A fine picture,&rdquo; I say, indicating the portrait of my host, &ldquo;and an

-      excellent likeness. Do you not think so, Mrs. Fisher?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She looks at me as if she had a new thought.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you a friend of the artist?&rdquo; she asks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An intimate,&rdquo; I reply with alacrity.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We have informed Mr. Benzine that we specially desired him not to bring

-      any more of his Bohemian acquaintances to our house,&rdquo; says the amiable

-      lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I am plunging deeper into the morass! Still, I have at last accounted for

-      my presence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mr. Benzine did not warn me of this, madame,&rdquo; I reply, coldly. &ldquo;I

-      apologize and I withdraw.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I make a step towards the door, but the large form of Fisher still

-      intervenes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then Benzine sent you?&rdquo; he says.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He did, though evidently under a misapprehension.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And what about Smith?&rdquo; asks Fisher, with an approach to intelligence in

-      his bovine eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, what about him?&rdquo; I ask, defiantly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did he send you, too?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My reception has been such that I decline to give any further

-      explanations.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is all very well,&rdquo; says Fisher&mdash;&ldquo;that is all very well&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He is evidently cogitating what is all very well, when we hear heavy steps

-      in the passage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They have come at last!&rdquo; he exclaims, and opens the door.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;More visitors!&rdquo; I say to myself, hoping now for a diversion. In another

-      moment I get it. Enter the butler and two gigantic policemen.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0017" id="linkimage-0017"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter IV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'<i>Let me out,' said the mouse, 'I do not care for this cheese.</i>'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Fables of Laetertius.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0018" id="linkimage-0018"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9044.jpg" alt="9044 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9044.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ICTURE now this comedy and its actors. Fisher of the porpoise habit, Mrs.

-      Fisher of the puffy cheek, poor Dugald Cellarini, and these two vast,

-      blue-coated, thief-catching &ldquo;bobbies&rdquo; (as with kindly humor the English

-      term their police); all save Dugald looking terribly solemn and important.

-      He, poor man, strove hard to give the affair a lighter turn, but what is

-      one artist in a herd of Philistines? I was not appreciated; that is the

-      truth. A man may defy an empire, a papal bull, an infectious disease, but

-      a prejudice&mdash;never! &ldquo;Constable,&rdquo; says Fisher, &ldquo;I have caught him.&rdquo;

-       Both bobbies look at me with much the same depressing glance as Fisher

-      himself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir,&rdquo; says one, in what evidently was intended for a tone of

-      congratulation. &ldquo;So I see.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The other bobby evidently agrees with this sentiment. Wonderful unanimity!

-      I have noticed it in the Paris gendarmes also, the same quick and

-      intelligent grasp of a situation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The latter quality was so conspicuous in my two blue-coated friends that I

-      named them instantly Lecoq and Holmes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Holmes speaks next, after an impressive pause.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What's he done?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is the point,&rdquo; says Fisher, in a tone of such damaging insinuation

-      that I am spurred to my defence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Exactly&mdash;what have I done?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He has endeavored to effect an entry into my house by removing a pane of

-      glass,&rdquo; says Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon me; to call the attention of the servants by rapping upon a pane

-      of glass.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come now, none of that!&rdquo; says Lecoq, with such severity that I see the

-      situation at once. He is jealous. I have cast an imputation on some fair

-      housemaid&mdash;the future Mrs. Lecoq, no doubt.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An assignation, you think?&rdquo; I ask, with a reassuring smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sir!&rdquo; cries Mrs. Fisher, indignantly. &ldquo;It was my daughter's window you

-      broke!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Shall I pose as the lover of Miss Fisher? I have heard that unmarried

-      English girls take strange liberties.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your fair daughter&mdash;&rdquo; I begin.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is a child of fifteen,&rdquo; interrupts virtuous Mrs.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Fisher, &ldquo;and I am certain knows nothing of this person.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      By the expression of their intelligent countenances, Holmes and Lecoq show

-      their concurrence in this opinion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Confront her with me!&rdquo; I demand, folding my arms defiantly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It has since struck me that this was a happy inspiration, and in the right

-      dramatic key. Unfortunately, it requires an imaginative audience, and I

-      had two Fishers and two bobbies.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Rapidly I had calculated what would happen. The fair and innocent maiden

-      should be aroused from her virgin slumbers; with dishevelled locks, and in

-      a long, loose, and becoming drapery of some soft color (light blue to

-      harmonize with her flaxen hair, for instance), she should be led into this

-      chamber of the inquisition; then my eye should moisten, my voice be as the

-      lute of Apollo, and it would be a thousand francs to a dishonored check

-      that I should melt her into some soft confession. Not that I should ask

-      her to compromise her reputation to save me. Never, on my honor, would I

-      permit that. Indeed, if my plight tempted her to invent a story she might

-      repent of afterwards, I should disavow it with so sincere and honest an

-      air that my captors would exclaim together, &ldquo;We have misjudged him!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No, I should merely persuade her to confess that a not ill-looking

-      foreigner had pursued her with glances of chivalrous admiration for some

-      days past, and that from his air of hopeless passion it was not surprising

-      to find him to-night tapping upon her window-pane.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Alas, that so promising a scheme should fail through the incurable poverty

-      of the Fisher spirit! My demand is simply ignored.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What acquaintance have you with my daughter?&rdquo; asks Mrs. Fisher, icily.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will respect my confidence?&rdquo; I ask, earnestly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We shall use our discretion,&rdquo; replies the virtuous lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Quite so; we shall use our discretion,&rdquo; repeats her unspeakable husband.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am satisfied with your assurance,&rdquo; I say. &ldquo;The discretion of a Fisher

-      is equivalent to the seal of the confessional. I thank you from my heart,

-      and I bow to your judgment.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you know of my daughter?&rdquo; Mrs. Fisher repeats, quite unmoved by

-      my candor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Madame, I was about to tell you. You asked if I was acquainted with that

-      charming, and, I can assure you on my honor, spotless young lady?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher; &ldquo;but I do not require any remarks on her

-      character from you, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon me; they escaped me inadvertently What I feel deeply I am tempted

-      to say. I do not know Miss Fisher personally. I have not yet ventured to

-      address a word to her, not so much as a syllable, not even a whisper. My

-      respect for her innocence, for her youth, for her parents, has been too

-      great. But this I confess: I have for days, for weeks, for months,

-      followed her loved figure with the eye of chaste devotion! On her walks

-      abroad I have been her silent, frequently her unseen, attendant. Through

-      every street in London I have followed the divine Miss Fisher, as a sailor

-      the polar star! To-night, in a moment of madness, I approached her home; I

-      touched her window that I might afterwards kiss the hand that had come so

-      near her! In my passion I touched too hard, the pane broke, and here I

-      stand before you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      So completely had I been carried away on the wings of my own fancy that

-      once or twice in the course of this outburst I had committed myself to

-      more than I had any intention of avowing. Be emphatic but never definite,

-      is my counsel to the liar. But I had, unluckily, tied myself to my

-      inventions. The gestures, the intonation, the key of sentiment were beyond

-      criticism; but then I was addressing Mr. and Mrs. Fisher, of

-      Chickawungaree Villa.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      They glance at one another, and Lecoq glances at them.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He, honest man, merely touches his head significantly and winks in my

-      direction. The Fishers are not, however, content with this charitable

-      criticism.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My daughter only returned from her seminary in Switzerland four days

-      ago,&rdquo; says Mrs. Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And she has never visited the streets of London except in Mrs. Fisher's

-      company,&rdquo; adds her spouse, with a look of what is either dull hatred or

-      impending apoplexy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Even at that crisis my wits did not desert me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My faith!&rdquo; I cry, &ldquo;I must be mistaken! It is not, then, Miss Fisher whom

-      I worship! A thousand pardons, sir, and I beg of you to convey them to the

-      lady whom I disturbed under a misapprehension!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this there is a pause, nobody volunteering to run with this message to

-      the bedside of Miss Fisher, though I glance pointedly at Holmes, and even

-      make the money in my pocket jingle. At last comes a sound of stifled air

-      trying to force a passage through something dense. It proceeds, I notice,

-      from my friend Fisher. Then it becomes a more articulate though scarcely

-      less disagreeable noise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I do not believe a word you say, sir!&rdquo; he booms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My friend, you are an agnostic,&rdquo; I reply, with a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Fisher only breathes with more apparent difficulty than ever. He is

-      evidently going to deal a heavy blow this time. It falls.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I charge this person with being concerned in the burglary at Mrs.

-      Thompson's house last night, and with trying to burgle mine,&rdquo; says he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He pauses, and then delivers another:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He has confessed to being an Italian.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The constables prick up their ears.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The organ-grinder!&rdquo; exclaims Holmes, with more excitement than I had

-      thought him capable of.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The man as made the butler drunk and gagged the cook!&rdquo; cries Lecoq.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Here is a fine situation for a political fugitive! I am indignant. I am

-      pathetic. 'No use. I explain frankly that I came to see Mr. Hankey. That

-      only deepens suspicion, for it seems that the excellent Hankey inhabited

-      Mount Olympus House next door for only three weeks, and departed a month

-      ago without either paying his rent or explaining the odor of dead bodies

-      proceeding from his cellars. Doubtless my French friends had acted for the

-      best in sending me to him, but would that he had taken the trouble to

-      inform them of his change of address! And then, why had I ever thought of

-      being an Italian? It appeared now that a gentleman of that nationality,

-      having won the confidence of the Thompson children and the Thompson

-      servants by his skill upon the hand-organ, had basely misused it in the

-      fashion indicated by Lecoq. Certainly it was hard to see why such a

-      skilled artist should have returned the very next night to a house three

-      doors away, and then bungled his business so shamefully; but that argument

-      is beyond the imagination of my bobbies. In fact, they seem only too

-      pleased to find a thief so ready to meet them half-way.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thank you, sir,&rdquo; says Holmes, at the conclusion of the painful scene. &ldquo;We

-      shouldn't mind a drop.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This means that they are about to be rewarded for their share in the

-      capture by a glass of Fisher's ale. And I? Well, I am not to have any ale,

-      but I am to accompany them to the cells, and next morning make my

-      appearance before the magistrate on one charge of burglary and another of

-      attempted burglary.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I cannot resist one parting shot at my late host.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, Fisher,&rdquo; I remark, critically, showing no hurry to leave the room,

-      &ldquo;I like that portrait of you. It has all your plain, well-fed,

-      plum-pudding appearance, without your unpleasant manner of breathing and

-      your ridiculous conversation&mdash;and it is not married to Mrs. Fisher.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      To this there is no reply. Indeed, I do not think they recovered their

-      senses for at least ten minutes after I left the room.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0019" id="linkimage-0019"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter V

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>The comedy of the law is probably the chief diversion of the angels.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0020" id="linkimage-0020"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9052.jpg" alt="9052 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9052.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      VER the rest of that night I shall draw a veil. I was taken to Newgate,

-      immured in the condemned cell, and left to my reflections. They were

-      sombre enough, I assure you. Young, ambitious, ardent, I sat there in that

-      foreign prison, without a friend, without a hope. If I state the truth

-      about myself, this excuse will be seized for sending me back to France.

-      And what then? Another prison! If I keep my identity concealed, how shall

-      I prove that I am not the burgling musician?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As you can well imagine, I slept little and dreamed much. I was only

-      thankful I had no parents to mourn my loss, for by this time I had quite

-      made up my mind that the organ-grinder's antecedents would certainly hang

-      me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I cursed Fisher, I cursed the League, I cursed F. II, that indefatigable

-      conspirator who had dragged me from a comfortable hotel and a safe alias

-      to&mdash;what? The scaffold; ah, yes, the scaffold!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It may sound amusing now, when I am still unhanged; but it was far from

-      amusing then, I assure you.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, the morning broke at last, and I was led, strongly escorted by the

-      twins Lecoq and Holmes, towards the venerable law-court at Westminster. I

-      recognized the judge, the jury, the witnesses, and the counsel, though my

-      thoughts were too engrossed to take a careful note of these. In fact, in

-      writing this account I am to some extent dependent on reports of other

-      trials. They are all much the same, I understand, differing chiefly as one

-      or more judges sit upon the bench.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In this case there was only one, a little gentleman with a shrewd eye and

-      a dry voice&mdash;a typical hanging judge, I said to myself. I prepared

-      for the worst.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      First comes the formal accusation. I, giving the name of Dugald Cellarini

-      am a blood-thirsty burglar. Such, in brief, is the charge, although its

-      deadly significance is partly obscured by the discreet phraseology of the

-      law.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then my friend Holmes enters the box, stiff and evidently nervous, and in

-      a halting voice and incoherent manner (which in France would inevitably

-      have led to his being placed in the dock himself) he describes the clever

-      way I was caught by himself and the astute Lecoq. So misleading is his

-      account of my guilty demeanor and suspicious conduct, that I instantly

-      resolve to cross-examine him. Politely but firmly I request the judge's

-      permission. It is granted, and I can see there is a stir of excitement in

-      the court.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did I struggle with you?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Holmes, turning redder than ever, admits that I did not.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did I knock you down? Did I seek to escape?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No, Holmes was not knocked down, nor had I tried to escape from the

-      representatives of the law.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And why, if I was a burglar, did I not do these things?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You wasn't big enough,&rdquo; says Holmes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, I admit he had the advantage of me there. The court, prejudiced

-      against me as they were, laughed with Holmes, but at the next bout I

-      returned his lunge with interest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What did Fisher give you to drink?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The question is dismissed by my vindictive judge as irrelevant, but I have

-      thrown Holmes into great confusion and made the court smile with me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is all,&rdquo; I say, in the tone of a conqueror, and thereupon Lecoq

-      takes the place of Holmes, and in precisely the same manner, and with the

-      same criminal look of abasement, repeats almost exactly the same words.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Against him I design a different line of counterattack. I remember his

-      jealousy when I spoke of the servants, and, if possible, I shall discredit

-      his testimony by an assault upon his character. Assuming an encouraging

-      air, I ask:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You know the servants at Fisher's house?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He stammers, &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;With one in particular you are well acquainted?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He looks at the judge for protection, but so little is my line of attack

-      suspected that the judge only gazes at us in rapt attention.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; says Lecoq, after a horribly incriminating pause.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Now tell me this,&rdquo; I demand, sternly. &ldquo;Have you always behaved towards

-      her as an honorable policeman?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Would you believe it? This question also is disallowed! But I think I have

-      damaged Lecoq all the same.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Next comes Fisher, red-faced, more pompous than ever, and inspired, I can

-      see, with vindictive hatred towards myself. It appears that he is a London

-      merchant; that his daughter heard a tapping on her window and called her

-      father; that he and his servant caught me in the act of entering the

-      chaste bedchamber through a broken window.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At this point I ask if I may put a question. The judge says yes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How much glass fell out?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Half a pane,&rdquo; says he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And the rest stayed in?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He has to admit that it did; very ungraciously, however.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How many panes to the window?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He cannot answer this; but the judge, much to my surprise, comes to the

-      rescue and elicits the fact that there are six.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How far had I gone through a twelfth of your window?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      His face gets redder, and there is a laugh through the court. I feel that

-      I have &ldquo;scored a try,&rdquo; as they say, and my spirits begin to rise again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But, alas! they are soon damped. Mrs. Thompson's butler steps into the

-      witness-box, and a more shameless liar I have never heard. Yes, he

-      remembers an organ-grinder coming to the house on various occasions during

-      the past fortnight. Here I interpose.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What did he play?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not being interested in such kinds of music, I cannot say.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly you have a poor ear?&rdquo; I suggest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My ear is as right as some people's, but it has not been accustomed to

-      the hand-organ,&rdquo; says the butler, with a magnificence that seems to

-      impress even the judge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You should have it boxed, my friend,&rdquo; I cannot help retorting, though I

-      fear this does not meet the unqualified approval of the judge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Next he is asked for an account of his dealings with the musician when

-      that gentleman visited the kitchen upon the night of the burglary, and it

-      appears that, shortly after the grinder's departure, he lost consciousness

-      with a completeness and rapidity that can only have been caused by some

-      insidious drug surreptitiously introduced into the glass of beer he

-      happened to be finishing at that moment. He scorns the insinuation (made

-      by myself) that he and the musician were drinking together; he would not

-      so far demean himself. That outcast did, however, on one occasion,

-      approach suspiciously near his half-empty glass.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I remark, with a smile, &ldquo;the moral Is that next time you should

-      provide your guests with glasses of their own.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Again I score, but quickly he has his revenge. Does he recognize me as the

-      organ-grinder? he is asked. He is not sure of the face, not taking

-      particular notice of persons of that description, but&mdash;he is ready to

-      swear to my voice!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It seems, then, that I have the same accent as an Italian organ-grinder! I

-      bow ironically, but the sarcasm, I fear, is lost.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is so distinctive about this voice I share with your Italian boon

-      companion?&rdquo; I inquire, suavely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He evidently dislikes the innuendo, but, in the presence of so many of his

-      betters, decides to retaliate only by counter-sarcasm. &ldquo;It's what I call

-      an unedicated voice,&rdquo; says he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Uneducated Italian or uneducated English?&rdquo; I inquire.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Italian,&rdquo; he replies, with the most consummate assurance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You know Italian?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Having travelled in Italy, I am not altogether unfamiliar,&rdquo; he answers.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I then put to him a simple Italian sentence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What does that mean, and is it educated or uneducated?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It means something that I should not care for his lordship to hear, and

-      is the remark of a thoroughly uneducated person,&rdquo; he retorts.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The court roars, and some even cheer the witness. For myself, I am

-      compelled to join the laughter&mdash;the impudence is so colossal.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My lord,&rdquo; I say to the judge, &ldquo;this distinguished scholar has so delicate

-      a mind that I should only scandalize him by asking further questions.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      So the butler retires with such an air of self-satisfaction that I could

-      have shot him, and the gagged cook takes his place.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This young woman is not ill-looking, and is very abashed at having to make

-      this public appearance. It appears that her glimpse of the burglar was

-      brief, as with commendable prudence he rapidly fastened her night-shift

-      over her head, but in that glimpse she recognized my mustache!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Could she tell how it felt?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The point is appreciated by the court, though not, I fear, by the judge,

-      who looks at me as though calculating the drop he should allow. Yes, it is

-      all very well to jest about my mustache, but to be hanged by it, that is a

-      different affair. And the case is very black against me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Has the prisoner any witnesses to call?&rdquo; asks the judge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I reply, &ldquo;but I shall make you a speech.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And thereupon I delight them with the following oration, an oration which

-      should have gone on much longer than it did but for a most unforeseen

-      interruption.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My lord, the jury, and my peers,&rdquo; I begin&mdash;remembering so much from

-      my historical stories&mdash;&ldquo;I am entirely guiltless of this extraordinary

-      and infamous charge. No one but such a man as Fisher would have brought

-      it!&rdquo; [Here I point my finger at the unhappy tenant of Chickawungaree.]

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No one else of the brave English would have stooped to injure an innocent

-      and defenceless stranger! As to the butler and the cook, you have seen

-      their untruthful faces, you have heard their incredible testimony. I say

-      no more regarding them. The policemen have only shown that they found me

-      an unwilling and insulted&mdash;though invited&mdash;guest of the

-      perfidious Fisher. What harm, then? Have you never been the unwilling

-      guests of a distasteful host?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who am I? Why did I visit such a person as Fisher? I shall tell you. I am

-      a French subject, a traveller in England. Only yesterday I arrived in

-      London. How can I, then, have burgled Madame Thompson? Impossible! Absurd!

-      I had not set my foot upon the shores of England&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this point the judge, in his dry voice, interrupts me to ask if I can

-      bring any witnesses to prove this assertion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Witnesses?&rdquo; I exclaim, not knowing what the devil to add to this dramatic

-      cry, when, behold! I see, sent by Providence, a young man rising from his

-      seat in the court. It is my fair-haired fellow-passenger!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I give evidence?&rdquo; says he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Though your name be Iscariot, yes!&rdquo; I cry.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The judge frowns, for it seems the demand was addressed to him and not to

-      me; but he permits my acquaintance to enter the box. And now a doubt

-      assails me. What will he say? Add still more damaging testimony, or prove

-      that I am the harmless Bunyan?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He does neither, but in a very composed and assured fashion, that carries

-      conviction with it, he tells the judge that he travelled with me from

-      Paris on the very night of the crime, adding that I had appeared to him a

-      very harmless though somewhat eccentric person. Not the adjectives I

-      should have chosen myself, perhaps; but, I assure you, I should have let

-      him call me vulgar or dirty without a word of protest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Of course it follows that I cannot be the musical burglar, while as for my

-      friend Fisher, that worthy gentleman is so disconcerted at the turn things

-      have taken that he seems as anxious to withdraw his share of the charge as

-      he was to make it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I am saved; the case breaks, down.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How's that?&rdquo; says the judge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Guiltless!&rdquo; cries the jury.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And so I am a free man once more, and the cook must swear to another

-      mustache.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The first thing I do is to seize my witness and drag him from the court,

-      repeating my thanks all the while.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But how did you come to be in court?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I happen to be a barrister!&rdquo; he explains. &ldquo;I came in about another

-      case, and, finding you'd been burgling, I thought I'd stay and see the

-      fun.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your case must take care of itself; come and lunch with me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, he can escape. His case will not come on to-day, as mine has taken so

-      long; and so we go forth together to begin a friendship that I trust may

-      always endure.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And to this day I have never paid for Fisher's broken pane of glass.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0021" id="linkimage-0021"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter VI

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>On earth men style him 'Richard,''</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>But the gods hail him 'Dick.</i>'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;An English Poet (adapted).

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0022" id="linkimage-0022"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9062.jpg" alt="9062 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9062.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      FRIEND in need.&rdquo; say the English, &ldquo;is a friend indeed. And who could be

-      more in need of a friend than I at that moment? It was like the rolling up

-      of London fog-banks and the smile of the sun peeping through at last. No

-      longer was I quite alone in my exile. If you have ever wandered solitary

-      through an unknown city, listened to a foreign tongue and to none other,

-      eaten alien viands, fallen into strange misadventures, and all without a

-      single friendly ear to confide your troubles to, you will sympathize with

-      the joyous swelling of my heart as I faced my barrister at that luncheon.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And he, I assure you, was a very other person from the indifferent

-      Englishman of the journey. The good heart was showing through, still

-      obscured as it was by the self-contained manner and the remnants of that

-      suspicion with which every Briton is taught to regard the insinuating

-      European.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I have already given you a sketch of his exterior&mdash;the smooth, fair

-      hair, the ruddy cheek, the clear eye, and, I should add, the compressed

-      and resolute mouth; also, not least, the admirable fit of his garments.

-      Now I can fill in the picture: Name, to begin with, Richard Shafthead;

-      younger son of honest, conservative baronet; eldest brother provided with

-      an income, I gather, Dick with injunctions to earn one. Hence attendance

-      at courts of justice, a respectable gravity of apparel, and that

-      compression of the lips. In speech, courteous upon a slight acquaintance,

-      though without any excessive anxiety to please; on greater intimacy, very

-      much to the point without regarding much the susceptibilities of his

-      audience. Yet this bluntness was, tempered always by good-fellowship, and

-      sometimes by a smile; and beneath it flowed, deep down, and scarcely ever

-      bubbling into the light of day, a stream of sentiment that linked him with

-      the poetry of his race. My friend Shafthead would have laughed outright

-      had you told him this. Nevertheless this secret is the skeleton in the

-      respectable English cupboard. Your John Bull is an edifice of sentiment

-      jealously covered by a hoarding on which are displayed advertisements of

-      pills and other practical commodities. It is his one fear lest any one

-      should discover this preposterous and hideous erection is not the real

-      building.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick's only comment on the above statement would probably be that I had

-      mixed my metaphors or had exceeded at lunch. But he is shrewd enough to

-      know in his heart that I have but spoken the truth, even though my

-      metaphors were as heterogeneous as the ark of Noah. How else can you

-      explain the astonishing contrast between those who write the songs of

-      England and those whose industry enables them to recompense the singers?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      No doubt there is a noticeable difference between the poet and the people

-      in every land and every race, but in England it is so staggering. The hair

-      of the English poet is so very long, his eye so very frenzied, his voice

-      so steeped in emotion, so buoyed by melody. Even his prose appeals to the

-      heart rather than to the head. Thackeray weeps as he writes of good women;

-      Scott blushes as he writes of bad. No one is cynical but the villains. The

-      heroines are all pure as the best cocoa.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then look at the check suits and the stony eyes of Mr. Cook's protégées.

-      Do they understand what Tennyson has written for them? If not, why do they

-      pay for it?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      John Bull and John Milton; William Bull and William Shakespeare; Lord Bull

-      and Lord Byron; Charles Bull and Charles Dickens; how are these couples

-      related? By this religious, moral, sentimental stream; welling in one,

-      hidden in another under ten tons of shyness and roast beef; a torrent

-      here, a trickle there, sometimes almost dry in a dusty season. That is

-      how.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Does Dick again recommend teetotalism as a cure for these speculations?

-      Come with me to your rooms, my friend, and let us glance through your

-      library.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I take up a volume of Shakespeare and find it contains the sonnets.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, Shakespeare's sonnets,&rdquo; I say, with an air of patronage towards that

-      eminent poet. &ldquo;You know them?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Used to know 'em a little.&rdquo; He is giving me another taste of that

-      characteristic British stare. Evidently he is offended by my tone, and

-      will fall an easy victim to my next move.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They are much overrated,&rdquo; I say, putting the book away.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You should write to the <i>Times</i> about it,&rdquo; he replies,

-      sarcastically, and then adds, with conviction, &ldquo;They are about the finest

-      things in English.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yet no Englishman reads them,&rdquo; I remark, lightly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I used to know half a dozen of 'em by heart,&rdquo; he retorts.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Half a dozen of those miracles of sensuous diction off by heart! Prosaic

-      Briton! I do not say this aloud, but take next the songs of Kipling, and

-      profess not to understand one of them. To convince me it is not mere

-      nonsense, he reads and expounds.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He has been round the world, and shot wild beasts on the veldt and in the

-      jungle, and can explain allusions and share exotic sentiments.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Is this man mere plum-pudding and international perfidy, who feels thus

-      the glamour of the song?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, here is a novel of Zola!&rdquo; I exclaim. &ldquo;You enjoy him, of course?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A filthy brute,&rdquo; says Dick. &ldquo;I read half of that, and I am keeping it now

-      for shaving-papers.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      There is perhaps more strength of conviction than critical judgment in

-      this comment. I might retort that all the water in the world neither has

-      been passed through a filter nor foams over a fall, and that the pond and

-      the gutter have their purpose in the world. I do not make this reply,

-      however; I merely note that a strong sentiment must underlie a strong

-      prejudice.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As you will perhaps have gathered, my good Dick had his limitations. He

-      could be sympathetic; if, for instance, he were to see me insulted,

-      beaten, robbed of my purse and my mistress, and blinded in one eye, he

-      would, I am sure, feel for me deeply, and show himself most tactful in his

-      consolation. But it would require some such well-marked instance to open

-      the gates of his heart; and in minor matters I should not dream of

-      applying to him, unless, indeed, it was a practical service he could

-      perform.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He himself had held his peace and confided in no one when his fair cousin

-      married the wealthy manufacturer of soda-water, and his heart had long

-      since healed. In the days of his wild oats, when duns were knocking at his

-      door, he had retired from St. James Street to a modest apartment in the

-      Temple, sold such of his effects as were marketable, and philosophically

-      sought a cheap restaurant and a coarser tobacco. His debts were now paid

-      and all was well again. When he did not get the degree he was expected to

-      at Oxford, he may have said &ldquo;damn,&rdquo; but I doubt if he enlarged on this

-      observation. What did that disappointment matter to-day? Then why should

-      other people make a fuss if they were hurt?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet his heart was as a child's if you could extract it from its wrappings

-      of tin-foil and brown paper, and I am happy I knew him long enough to see

-      him &ldquo;play the fool,&rdquo; as he would term it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      On that first afternoon of our acquaintance I found him courteous before

-      lunch, genial after (I took care to &ldquo;make him proud.&rdquo; as the English say).

-      I was perfectly frank; told him my true name, the plot that had

-      miscarried, my flight to England&mdash;everything.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am not Bunyan, I am not even Cellarini, but merely Augustine d'Haricot,

-      eternally at your service,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You have saved me from prison,

-      perhaps from the scaffold.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It wouldn't have been as bad as that, but I'm glad to have been of any

-      use.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And then changing the subject, as an Englishman does when complimented

-      (for they hold that either you lie and are a knave, or tell the truth and

-      are a fool), he asked:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What are you going to do now?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That depends upon your advice,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;What is my danger? How wise

-      is it to move freely in this country?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;There is no danger at all if it is only a political offence,&rdquo; he

-      answered. &ldquo;Unless you've been picking pockets, or anything else as well.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I answered him I had not, and he promised to inquire into the case and

-      give me a full assurance on the next morning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;tell me, my friend, how to live as an Englishman. I do

-      not mean to adopt the English mind, the English sentiment, but only to

-      move in your world, so long as I must live in it. I want to see, I want to

-      hear, I want to record my impressions and my adventures. As the time is

-      not ripe to wield the sword, I shall wield the eyes and the pen. Also, I

-      shall doubtless fall in love, and I should like to hunt a fox and shoot a

-      pheasant.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We laughed together at this programme; in brief, we made a good beginning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      That afternoon we set out together to look for suitable apartments for

-      myself, and by a happy chance we had hardly gone a hundred paces before we

-      spied a gentleman approaching us whom Shafthead declared to be a veritable

-      authority on London life; also a cousin of his own.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But will he not be busy?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Young devil,&rdquo; answered Shafthead, &ldquo;it will serve to keep him out of

-      mischief for an hour or two.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Thereupon I was presented to Mr. Teddy Lumme, a young gentleman of small

-      stature, with a small, cheerful, clean-shaven, dark face, and a large hat

-      that sloped backward and sideways towards a large collar. His elbows moved

-      as though he were driving a cab; his boots shone brightly enough to serve

-      for mirrors; his morning-coat was cut in imitation of the &ldquo;pink&rdquo; of a

-      huntsman; a large mass of variegated silk was fastened beneath his collar

-      by a neat pearl pin; in a word, he belonged to a type that is universal,

-      yet this specimen was unmistakably English. In age I learned afterwards

-      that he was just twenty-five, emancipated for little more than a year from

-      the University of Oxford, and still enjoying the relief from the rigorous

-      rules of that institution. No accusation of reticence to be made against

-      Mr. Lumme! He talked all the time, cheerfully and artlessly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You want rooms?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Quelle chose? I mean, don't you know, what

-      kind? I don't know much French, I'm afraid. Oh, you talk English? Devilish

-      glad to hear it. I say, Dick, you remember that girl I told you of? Well,

-      it's just as I said. I knew, damn it all. What do you want to give?&rdquo; (This

-      to me.) &ldquo;You don't care much? That simplifies matters.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      In this strain Mr. Lumme entertained us on our way, Shafthead regarding

-      him with a half-amused, half-sardonic grin, of which his relative seemed

-      entirely oblivious, while I enjoyed myself amazingly. I felt like Captain

-      Cook on the gallant <i>Marchand</i> palavering with the chiefs of some

-      equatorial state.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I demand a cold bath and an English servant,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Anything else

-      characteristic you can add, but those are essential.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0023" id="linkimage-0023"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8070.jpg" alt="8070 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8070.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      I do not know whether Lumme quite understood this to be a jest. He took

-      me to three sets of apartments, and at each asked first to be shown the

-      bathroom, and then the servant, after which he inquired the price, and

-      whether a tenant was at liberty to introduce any guest at any hour.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Finally, to end the story of that day, which began in jail and ended so

-      merrily, I found myself the tenant of a highly comfortable set of

-      apartments, with everything but the valet supplied at an astonishingly

-      high price.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;However,&rdquo; I said to myself, &ldquo;it may be expensive, but it is better than

-      ten years' transportation for burgling Fisher!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0024" id="linkimage-0024"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter VII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Little, cheerful, and honest&mdash;do you not know the species?</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Kovaleffski.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0025" id="linkimage-0025"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9072.jpg" alt="9072 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9072.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HAD left my hotel and settled in my apartments; the labels with &ldquo;Nelson

-      Bunyan&rdquo; were removed from my luggage; I had been assured that so long as I

-      remained on English soil I was safe. Next thing I must find a servant; one

-      who should &ldquo;know the ropes&rdquo; of an English life. Lumme had promised to make

-      inquiries for me, and I had impressed upon him that the following things

-      were essential&mdash;in fact, I declared that without them I should never

-      entertain an application for one instant. First, he must be of such an

-      appearance as would do me credit, whether equipped in the livery I had

-      already designed for him, in the cast-off suits I should provide him with,

-      or in the guise of an attendant at the chase or upon the moors. Then, that

-      he must be honest enough to trust in the room with a handful of mixed

-      change, sober enough to leave alone with a decanter, discerning enough to

-      arrange an odd lot of sixteen boots into eight pairs, cleanly enough to

-      pack collars without soiling them. Finally, he must be polite, obliging,

-      industrious, discreet, and, if possible, a little religious&mdash;not

-      sufficiently so to criticise my conduct, but enough to regulate his own.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I wrote this list down and handed it to the obliging Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will procure him by this afternoon?&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know a man who keeps a Methodist footman in his separate

-      establishment,&rdquo; answered Lumme, after a moment's reflection. &ldquo;That's the

-      kind of article you require, I suppose. If you get 'em too moral there's

-      apt to be a screw loose somewhere, and if you get 'em the other way the

-      spoons go. Well, I can't promise, but I'll do my best.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      So this amiable young man departed, and I, to pass the time, walked into

-      Piccadilly, and there took my seat once more upon the top of an omnibus to

-      enjoy the sunshine, and be for a time a spectator of the life in the

-      streets. To obtain a better view I sat down on the front bench close to

-      the driver's elbow, and we had not gone very far before this individual

-      turned to me and remarked with a cordiality that pleased me infinitely,

-      and a perspicacity that astonished me:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Been long in London, sir?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You perceive that I am a stranger, then?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the man, as he cracked his whip and drove his lumbering coach

-      straight at an orifice between two cabs just wide enough, it seemed to me,

-      for a wheelbarrow, &ldquo;I'm a observer, I am. When I sees that speckled tie

-      droopin' from a collar of unknown horigin, and them rum kind of boots, I

-      says to myself a Rooshian, for 'alf a sovereign. Come from Rooshia, sir?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The man's naïveté delighted me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I belong to an allied power,&rdquo; I replied, wondering if his powers of

-      observation would enable him to decide my nationality now.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He seemed to debate the question as, with an apropos greeting to each

-      cabman, his 'bus bumped them to the side and sailed down the middle of the

-      street.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Native o' Manchuria, perhaps?&rdquo; he hazarded.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not quite; try again.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Siberia?&rdquo; he suggested next.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Seeing that either his imagination or my appearance confined his

-      speculations to Asia, I told him forthwith that I was French.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;French?&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Well, now I'm surprised to 'ear it, sir. If you'll

-      excuse me saying so, you don't look like no Frenchman.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why not?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I always thought they was little chaps, no bigger than a monkey. Why,

-      you're quite as tall as most Englishmen.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Considering that my friend could not possibly have measured more than five

-      feet, two inches, and that I am five feet, nine inches, in my socks, I was

-      highly diverted by this.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you seen many Frenchmen?&rdquo; I asked him. &ldquo;I knew one once,&rdquo; he

-      replied, after a minute or two's thought, and a brief interruption to

-      invite some ladies on the pavement to enter his 'bus. &ldquo;'E was a waiter at

-      the Bull's 'Ead, 'Ighbury. I drove a 'bus that way then, and there was a

-      young lady served in the bar 'im and me was both sweet on. Nasty, greasy

-      little man 'e was&mdash;meaning no reflection on you, sir. They couldn't

-      make out where the fresh butter went, and when 'e left&mdash;which 'e 'ad

-      to for kissing the missis when she wasn't 'erself, 'aving 'ad a drop more

-      than 'er usual&mdash;do you know what they found, sir?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I confessed my inability to guess this secret. &ldquo;Why, 'e'd put it all on

-      'is beastly 'air, two pounds a week, sir, of the very best fresh butter in

-      'Ighbury. Perhaps, sir, I've been prejudiced against Frenchmen in

-      consequence.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I admitted that he had every excuse, and asked him whether my buttered

-      compatriot had won the maiden's affections in addition to his other

-      offences.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;I'm 'appy to say she 'ad more sense. More sense than

-      to take either of us,&rdquo; he added, with a deep sigh, and then, as if to

-      quench melancholy reflections, hailed another driver who was passing us in

-      the most hilarious fashion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Old your 'at on, ole man!&rdquo; he shouted. &ldquo;Them opera-'ats is getting

-      scarce, you know!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0026" id="linkimage-0026"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8076.jpg" alt="8076 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8076.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      The other driver, a bottle-nosed man, redeemed only from unusual

-      shabbiness by the head-gear in question, winked, leered, and made some

-      reply about &ldquo;not 'aving such a fat head underneath it as some people.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      My friend turned to me with a confidential air. &ldquo;You saw that gentleman as

-      I addressed?&rdquo; he said, in an impressive voice. &ldquo;Well, that man was driving

-      'is own kerridge not five years ago. On the Stock Exchange 'e was, and

-      worth ten thousand a year if 'e was worth a penny; 'ouse in Park Lane, and

-      married to the daughter of a baronite. 'E's told me all that 'isself, so

-      it's true and no 'umbug.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Ow did 'e lose 'is money? Hunfortunit speculations and consols goin'

-      down; but you, being a furriner, won't likely understand.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Looking as unsophisticated as possible, I pressed my friend for an

-      explanation of these mysteries.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0027" id="linkimage-0027"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9077.jpg" alt="9077 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9077.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;it's something like this: If you goes on the Stock

-      Exchange you buys what they calls consols&mdash;that's stocks and shares

-      of various sorts and kinds, but principally mines in Australia, and

-      inventions for to make things different from what they is at present.

-      That's what's called makin' a corner, which ain't a corner exactly in the

-      usual sense&mdash;not as used in England, that's to say, but a kind o'

-      American variety.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What, O Bill! Bloomin', thank you. 'Ow's yourself?&rdquo; (This to another

-      driver passed upon the road.)

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As I was savin', sir, this 'ere pore friend o' mine speculated in

-      consols, and prices being what they calls up, and then shiftin', he loses

-      and the bank wins. Inside o' twenty-four hours that there gentleman was

-      changed from one of the richest men in the city into a pore cove a-looking

-      out for a job like you and me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And he chose driving an omnibus?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;'Adn't got no choice. He was

-      too much of a gentleman to sink to a ordinary perfession, and drivin' a

-      pair o' 'orses seems to 'im more in keepin' with 'is position than drivin'

-      one 'orse in a cab, which was the only thing left.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He paused, and then shaking his head with an air of sentiment, continued:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Wunderful 'ow sensitive he is, sir. He wouldn't part with that there

-      hopera-'at, not if you give him five 'undred pounds; yet he can't a-bear

-      to 'ear it chipped, not except in a kind o' delicate way, same as I did

-      just now. You 'eard me, sir? 'Hop-era-'ats is scarce,' says I; but I

-      dursn't sail closer to the wind nor that. 'E'd say, &ldquo;Old your jaw,

-      Halfred,' or words to that effec', quick enough. Comes o' being bred too

-      fine for the job, I tells 'im often; I says it to 'im straight, sir.'

-      Comes o' being bred too fine for the job,' says I.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this point my friend's attention was called from the romantic history

-      of his fellow-driver to the exigencies of their common profession, and I

-      had an opportunity of studying more attentively this entertaining specimen

-      of the cockney.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He was, as I have said, a very short man, from thirty to thirty-five years

-      of age, I judged, redcheeked and snub-nosed, with a bright, cheerful eye,

-      and the most friendly and patronizing manner. Yet he was perfectly

-      respectful and civil, despite his knowledge of my unfortunate nationality.

-      In fact, it seemed his object to place me as far as possible at my ease,

-      and enable me to forget for a space the blot upon my origin.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;There's some quite clever Frenchmen, I' ve 'eard tell,&rdquo; he said,

-      presently. &ldquo;That there 'idro-phobia man&mdash;and Napoleon Bonyparty, in

-      his way, too, I suppose, though we don't think so much of 'im over 'ere.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am sorry to hear that, I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;we believes in a man 'aving his fair share of

-      what's goin'. Like as if me and a friend goes inter a public 'ouse, and

-      another gentleman he comes in and he says, 'What's it going to be this

-      time?' or, 'Name your gargle, gents,' or words to some such effec'; and we

-      says, 'Right you are, old man,' and 'as a drink at his expense. Now it

-      wouldn't be fair if I says to the young lady, 'I'll 'ave a 'ole bottle of

-      Scotch whiskey, miss, and what I can't drink I'll take 'ome in a

-      noospaper,' and I leaves 'im to pay for all that; would it, sir? Well,

-      that's what Bonyparty done; 'e tried to get more nor his share o' what was

-      goin' in Europe. Not that it affec's us much, we being able to take care

-      of ourselves, but we don't like to see it, sir. That's 'ow it is.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      All this time we had been going eastward into the city of London, and now

-      we were arrived at the most extraordinary scene of confusion you can

-      possibly imagine. I should be afraid to say how many 'buses and cabs were

-      struggling and surging in a small open space at the junction of several

-      streets. Foot-passengers in hundreds bustled along the pavements or dodged

-      between the horses, and, immobile in the midst of it, the inevitable

-      policeman appeared actually to be sifting this mob according to some

-      mysterious scheme.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Cheer-O,&rdquo; cried my friend upon the box. &ldquo;'Ow's the price o' lime-juice

-      this morning?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That there's wot we calls the Bank, sir, where the Queen keeps 'er money,

-      and the Rothschilds and the like o' them; guarded by seven 'undred of the

-      flower o' the British army, it is, the hofficer bein' hinvariably a

-      millionaire hisself, in case he's tempted to steal. Garn yerself and git

-      yer face syringed with a fire-'ose. You can't clean it no 'ow else. The

-      'andsome hedifice to your right, sir, is the Mansion 'Ouse; not the

-      station of that name, but the 'ome of the Lord Mayor; kind o' governor of

-      the city, 'e is; 'as a hextraordinary show of 'is own on taking the hoath

-      of hofflce; people comes all the way from Halgiers and San Francisco to

-      see it; camels and 'orses got up like chargers of the holden time, and men

-      disguised so as their own girls wouldn't know 'em. Representing harts,

-      hindustries, and hempire, that's their game. Pleeceman, them there

-      bloomin' whiskers of yours will get mowed off by a four-wheel cab some

-      day, and then 'ow'll you look? Too bloomin' funny, am I? More'n them

-      whiskers is, hinterfering with the traffic like that.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir, we 'as a rest 'ere for a few minutes; we ain't near at the end

-      yet, though.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0028" id="linkimage-0028"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9081.jpg" alt="9081 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9081.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      I shall leave it to your judgment to guess which of these remarks were

-      addressed to me and which to various of his countrymen in this vortex of

-      wheels and human beings. For a few minutes he now sat at ease in a quieter

-      street (though, my faith! no street in this city of London but would seem

-      busy in most towns), apparently deliberating what topic to enter upon

-      next. I say apparently deliberating, but on further acquaintance with my

-      good &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; as he called himself (the aspirated form of &ldquo;Alfred&rdquo; used

-      by the cockney Alfred being the name of England's famous monarch), I came

-      to the conclusion that his mind never was known to go through any such

-      process. What came first into his head flew straight to his tongue, till

-      by constant use that organ had got into a state of unstable equilibrium,

-      like the tongue of a toy mandarin, that oscillates for five minutes if you

-      move him ever so gently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In a word, Halfred was an inveterate chatterbox.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Even had I been that very compatriot of mine who had so deeply, and, I

-      could not but admit, so justly, roused his ire, he would, I am sure, have

-      chattered just as hard.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      By the time we were under way again and threading the eastern alleys of

-      the city&mdash;for they are called streets only by courtesy&mdash;his

-      tongue had started too, and he was talking just as hard as ever. Now,

-      however, his conversation took a more reminiscent and a more personal

-      turn, and this led to such sweeping consequences that I shall keep the

-      last half of our journey together for a separate chapter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0029" id="linkimage-0029"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter VIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Your valet? Pardon; I thought he had come to measure the gas!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0030" id="linkimage-0030"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9083.jpg" alt="9083 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9083.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      UT of the limits of this city of Lon-don we drove into the beginnings of

-      the east. Not the Orient of the poet and the traveller, the land of the

-      thousand-and-one nights, but the miles and miles of brick where some

-      millions of Londoners pass an existence that ages me to think of. Picture

-      to yourself a life more desolate of joys than the Arctic, more crowded

-      with fellow-animals than any ant-heap, uglier than the Great Desert, as

-      poor and as diseased as Job. Not even the wealthy there to gossip about

-      and gape at, no great house to envy and admire, no glitter anywhere to

-      distract, except in the music-halls of an evening. Yet they work on and do

-      not hang themselves&mdash;poor devils!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But I grow serious where I had set out to be gay, and thoughtful when you

-      are asking for a somersault. Worse still, I am solemn, sitting at the

-      elbow of my cheerful Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      That genial driver of the omnibus was not one whit depressed upon coming

-      into this region, nor, to tell the truth, was I that morning, for I could

-      not see the backward parts, but only the wide main road, very airy after

-      the lanes of the city, and crowded with quite a different population. No

-      longer the business-man with shining hat, hands in pockets, quick step,

-      and anxious face; no longer the well-dressed woman hurrying likewise

-      through the throng; no longer the jingling hansom; but, instead, the

-      compatriot of the prophets, the costermonger with his barrow, the residue

-      of Hungary and Poland, the pipe of the British workman. Wains of hay in

-      the midst of the road, drays and lorries, and an occasional omnibus

-      jolting at the sides; to be sure there was life enough to look at.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As for my friend, his talk began to turn more upon his own private

-      affairs. Apparently there was less around to catch his attention, and, as

-      I have said, he had to talk, and so spoke of himself. As I sat on the top

-      of that 'bus listening with continuous amusement to his candid

-      reminiscences and naïve philosophy, I studied him more attentively than

-      ever, for, as you shall presently hear, I had more reason. His dress, I

-      noticed, was neat beyond the average of drivers; a coat of box-cloth, once

-      light yellow, now of various shades, but still quite respectable; a felt

-      hat with a flat top, glazed to throw off the rain; a colored scarf around

-      his neck, whether concealing a collar or not I could not say; and

-      something round his knees that might once have been a rug or a

-      horse-cloth, or even a piece of carpet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yus,&rdquo; said Halfred, meditatively, as he cracked his whip and urged his

-      'bus at headlong speed through a space in the traffic, &ldquo;it's some rum

-      changes o' luck I've 'ad in my day.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0031" id="linkimage-0031"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9085.jpg" alt="9085 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9085.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      My father he give me a surprisin' good eddication for a hembyro

-      'bus-driver, meaning me to go into the stevedore business in Lime-'ousc

-      basin, same as 'e was 'imself, but my 'ead got swelled a-talkin' to a most

-      superior policeman what 'ad come down in the world, and nothing would

-      sat-ersfy me but mixin' in 'igh life. So our rector 'e gives me a

-      introduction to a bloomin' aunt o' his in the country what wanted a boy in

-      buttons, and into buttons I goes, and I says to myself, says I, 'Halfred,

-      you're goin' to be a credit to your fam'ly, you are'; that's what I says.

-      Blimy, I often larf now a-thinkin' of it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He paused to blow his nose in a primitive but effective fashion, and

-      smiled gently to himself at these recollections of his youthful optimism.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How long did you remain in these buttons?&rdquo; I asked him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Till I outgrowed them,&rdquo; said Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And after that?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I was servant to a gentleman what hadvertised for a honest young man,

-      hexperience bein' no hobject.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I asked him how he liked that.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I was comfertable enough; that I can't deny,&rdquo; said Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And why, then, did you leave?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The heverlastin' reason w'y I does most foolish things, sir. My 'eart is

-      too suscepterble, and the ladies'-maid was too captivatin'. She wouldn't

-      'ave nothin' to do with me, so I chucks the 'ole thing up, and, says I,

-      'I'll be hinderpendent, I will.' 'Ence I'm a-drivin' a 'bus.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you happy now?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said he, candidly, &ldquo;I couldn't say as I was exactly '<i>umped</i>;

-      but it ain't all bottled beer sittin' in this bloomin' arm-chair with your

-      whiskers froze stiff, and the 'orses' ears out o' sight in the fog. And

-      there ain't much variety in it, nor much chance of becomin' a millionaire.

-      Hoften and hoften I thinks to myself, 'What O for a pair o' trousers to

-      fold, and a good fire in the servants' 'all, and hinderpendence be

-      blowed!'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0032" id="linkimage-0032"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9087.jpg" alt="9087 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9087.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      I think it was at this moment that an inspiration came into my head. It

-      was rash, you will doubtless think.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I 'ope so, sir,&rdquo; said he, with becoming modesty and evident surprise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now you are experienced?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you've 'ad threepence worth o' this 'ere 'bus, and

-      you 'aven't seed me scrape off no paint yet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But, I mean, you are experienced in folding trousers, in packing shirts,

-      in varnishing boots, in all the niceties of your old profession, are you

-      not? You would do credit to a gentleman if he should engage you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      It was certainly sudden, but then, as perhaps you have discovered ere now,

-      I am not the most prudent of men. This little, cheerful Halfred had taken

-      my fancy enormously, and my heart was warmed towards him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I asked, abruptly, &ldquo;are you still an honest young man?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Halfred looked at me sharply, with a true cockney's suspicion of what he

-      feared might be &ldquo;chaff.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You ain't a-pulling my leg, sir?&rdquo; he inquired, guardedly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On the contrary, I am taking your hand as an honest and experienced

-      valet, Halfred.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You knows of a gentleman as wants one?&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; I answered, with conviction.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It ain't yourself, sir?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is,&rdquo; said I.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Blimy!&rdquo; exclaimed Halfred, in an audible aside.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What about references?&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, references; yes, I suppose you had better have some references,&rdquo; I

-      replied, though, to tell the truth, I had not thought of them before.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He rubbed his chin with the back of his hand and screwed his rosy face

-      into a deliberative expression, while his eyes twinkled cheerfully.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't mind 'aving a go at the job,&rdquo; he remarked, after a couple of

-      minutes' reflection.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Apply this evening,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Bring a reference if you have one, and I

-      shall engage you, Halfred!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For the rest of our journey together his gratitude and pleasure, his

-      curiosity, and his qualms as to how much he remembered and how much he had

-      forgotten of a man-servant's duties, delighted me still further, and made

-      me congratulate myself upon my discrimination and judgment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We parted company among the docks and shipping of the very far east of

-      London, and after rambling for a time by the busy wharves and breezy

-      harbor basins, and, marvelling again at the vastness and variety of this

-      city, I mounted another omnibus and drove back to my rooms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A man to see you, sir,&rdquo; said the maid.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Could it be Halfred, already? No, it was a very different individual; a

-      tall and stately man, with a prim mouth and an eye of unfathomable

-      discretion. He stood in an attitude denoting at once respect for me and

-      esteem for himself, and followed me to my room upon a gently creaking

-      boot.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said I, at a loss to know whether he came to collect a tax or

-      induce me to order a coffin, &ldquo;what can I do for you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mr. Lumme, sir,&rdquo; said he, in a mincing voice, &ldquo;has informed me that you

-      was requiring a manservant. Enclosed you will find Air. Lumme's

-      recommendation.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He handed me a letter which ran as follows:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Dear Monsieur,&mdash;I have found the very man you want. He was valet

-      to Lord Pluckham for five years, and could not have learned more from any

-      one. Pluck-ham was very particular as to dress, and had many affairs

-      requiring a discreet servant. He only left when P. went bankrupt, and has

-      had excellent experience since. Been witness in two divorce cases, and is

-      highly recommended by all; also a primitive Wesleyan by religion, and well

-      educated. You cannot find a better man in London, nor as good, I assure

-      you. His name is John Mingle. Don't lose this chance. I have had some

-      trouble, but am glad to have found the very article.</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>&ldquo;Yours truly,</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>&ldquo;Edward Lumme.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This was a pretty dilemma! The industrious and obliging Lumme had found

-      one jewel, and in the meanwhile I had engaged another. I felt so

-      ungrateful and guilty that I was ashamed to let my good Teddy discover

-      what I had done. So instead of telling Mr. Mingle at once that the place

-      was filled, I resolved to find him deficient in some important point, and

-      decline to engage him on these grounds. Easier said than done.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your experience has been wide?&rdquo; I asked, looking critical and feeling

-      foolish.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If I may say so, sir, it has,&rdquo; said he, glancing down modestly at the hat

-      he held in his hands.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You can iron a hat?&rdquo; I inquired, casting round in my mind for some task

-      too heavy for this Hercules.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He smiled with, I thought, a little pity.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, certingly, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Can you cook?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have hitherto stayed at houses where separate cooks was kept,&rdquo; said he;

-      &ldquo;but if we should happen to be a-camping out in Norway, sir, there isn't

-      nothing but French pastry I won't be happy to oblige with&mdash;on a

-      occasion, that's to say, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Not only were Mr. Alingle's accomplishments comprehensive, but he

-      evidently looked upon himself as already engaged by me. Internally cursing

-      his impudence, I asked next if he could sew.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;At a pinch, sir,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;That is,&rdquo; he added, correcting this vulgar

-      expression, &ldquo;if the maids is indisposed, or like as if we was on board

-      your yacht, sir, and there was no hother alternative.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We&rdquo; again&mdash;and it seemed Mr. Alingle expected me to keep a yacht!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Could he load and clean a gun, saddle a horse, ride a bicycle, oil a

-      motor-car, read a cipher, and manage a camera? Yes; in the absence of the

-      various officials which &ldquo;our&rdquo; establishment maintained for these purposes,

-      Mr. Mlingle would be able and willing to oblige.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Moreover, he talked with a beautiful accent, and only very occasionally

-      misused an aspirate; and there could be no doubt he would make an

-      impressive appearance in any livery I could design. Even as a Pierrot he

-      would have looked dignified. On what pretext could I reject this paragon?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Can you drive an omnibus?&rdquo; I demanded, at last, with a flash of genius.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This time Mr. Alingle looked fairly disconcerted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Drive a homnibus!</i>&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;No, sir; my position and prospec's

-      have always been such that I am happy to say I have never had the

-      opportunity of practising.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0033" id="linkimage-0033"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9092.jpg" alt="9092 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9092.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      I shook my head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am afraid,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that you won't suit me, Mingle. It is my amusement

-      to keep a private omnibus.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, private,&rdquo; said Mr. Mingle, as though that might make a difference.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But quickly I added:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is painted and upholstered just like the others. In fact, I buy them

-      secondhand when beyond repair. Also I take poor people from the work-house

-      for a drive. And you must drive it in all weathers.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      That was the end of Mr. Mingle. In fact, I think he was glad to find

-      himself safely out of my room again, and what he thought of my tastes, and

-      even of my sanity, I think I can guess.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      That evening my friend Halfred appeared, bringing a testimonial to his

-      honesty and sobriety from the proprietor of the stables, and a brief line

-      of eulogy from the official who collected the pence and supplied the

-      tickets upon his own &ldquo;bus. This last certificate ran thus&mdash;I give it

-      exactly as it stood:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>certtifieing alfred Winkes is I of The best obligging and You will

-      find him kind to animils yours Sinseerly P. Widdup</i>.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As Halfred explained to me, this was entirely unsolicited, and Mr. Widdup,

-      he was sure, would feel hurt if he learned that it had not been presented.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You can tell him,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that it has secured the situation for you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I had just told him that I should expect him to begin his duties upon the

-      following morning, and he was inspecting my apartment with an air of great

-      interest and satisfaction, when there came a knock upon the door, and in

-      walked Sir. Teddy Lumme himself. He was in evening-dress, covered by the

-      most recent design in top-coats and the most spotless of white scarfs. On

-      his head he wore a large opera-hat, tilted at the same angle, and on his

-      feet small and shiny boots.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hullo,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Sorry; am I interrupting? Came to see if you'd booked

-      Mingle. I suppose you have.'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A thousand thanks, my friend, for your trouble.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I replied, with an earnestness proportionate to my feeling of compunction.

-      &ldquo;Mingle was, indeed, admirable&mdash;exquisite. In fact, he was perfect in

-      every respect save one.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What's that?&rdquo; said Teddy, looking a little surprised.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He could not drive an omnibus.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I am afraid my friend Teddy thought that I was joking. He certainly seemed

-      to have difficulty in finding a reply to this. Then an explanation struck

-      him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You mean what we call a coach,&rdquo; he suggested. &ldquo;Thing with four horses and

-      a toot-toot-toot business&mdash;post-horn, we call it. What?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I mean an omnibus,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;The elegant, the fascinating, British

-      'bus. And here I have found a man who can drive me. This is my new

-      servant, Halfred Winkles.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Lumme stared at him, as well he might, for my Halfred cut a very different

-      figure from the grave, polished, quietly attired Mingle. To produce the

-      very best impression possible, he had dressed himself in a suit of

-      conspicuously checkered cloth, very tight in the leg and wide at the foot,

-      and surmounted by a very bright-blue scarf tightly knotted round his neck.

-      In his button-hole was an artificial tulip, in his pocket a wonderful

-      red-and-yellow handkerchief. His ruddy face shone so brightly that I

-      shrewdly suspected his friend Wid-dup had scrubbed it with a handful of

-      straw, and he held in his hand, pressed against his breast, the same

-      shining waterproof hat beneath which he drove the 'bus.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Left your last place long?&rdquo; asked Lumme, of this apparition.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Gave 'em notice this arternoon, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who were you with?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0034" id="linkimage-0034"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9095.jpg" alt="9095 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9095.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;London General,&rdquo; replied Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I hope you'll turn out all right, and do my friend, the monsieur here,

-      credit.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As he turned to go he added to me, aside:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Rum-looking chap, he seems to me. Keep an eye on him, I'd advise you.

-      Personally, I'd have chosen Mingle, but o' course you know best.

-      Good-night.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And I was left with the faithful Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A London general?&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Sounds all right. He gave you a good

-      character, I sup&mdash;&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I interposed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Lumme, dubiously,

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0035" id="linkimage-0035"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter IX

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>I often envy the snail. Mon Dieu, think of at ways travelling beneath

-      the comfortable roof of one's own house!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Maxime Argon.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0036" id="linkimage-0036"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9096.jpg" alt="9096 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9096.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ND now I must tell you something about my rooms, the little ledge in

-      London in which I rested, and flapped my wings and preened my feathers.

-      The door of the house rented by Mr. and Mrs. Titch, and disposed of

-      piece-meal to unmarried gentlemen, looked upon a very tiny square opening

-      off a busy street. But my two chambers were at the back, and from their

-      windows I saw nothing of square or street, or any house at all. The green

-      Hyde Park with its trees and grass, and the wide drive where carriages and

-      people aired themselves and lingered, that was what I saw; and often I

-      could fancy myself in the woods and the gardens about a certain house in

-      another land, and then I would shut my eyes and let the picture grow and

-      grow, till I could hear known voices and look upon old faces that perhaps

-      I should never again hear or see in any other fashion. Yes, the exile may

-      be very gay, and jingle the foreign coins in his pocket, and whistle the

-      airs of alien songs, and afterwards write humorously of his adventures;

-      but there are many moments when he and the canary in the cage are very

-      near together.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For myself, I am best, my friends say, when I am laughing at the world and

-      playing somewhat the buffoon. And, of course, I am naturally anxious to

-      appear at my best. Besides, I must confess that I do not think this world

-      is an affair to be treated with a too great gravity; not, at least, if one

-      can help it. Frequently it makes itself ridiculous even in the partial

-      eyes of its own inhabitants. How much more frequently if one could sit

-      outside&mdash;upon a passing shower, for instance&mdash;and see it as we

-      look upon a play? Ten to one, some of our most sententious friends would

-      seem no different from those amusing sparrows discussing the law of

-      property in a bread-crumb, or from my dog playing the solemn comedy of the

-      buried bone. Therefore I always think it safer to assume that there is

-      some unseen cynic, some creature in the fourth dimension, looking over my

-      shoulder as I write, and exclaiming, when I grow too sensible, &ldquo;Oh, the

-      wise fool!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet for all this excellent philosophy, and in spite of a most reasonable

-      desire to say those things that are instantly rewarded by a smile, rather

-      than those an audience receives in silence, and perhaps approves, perhaps

-      condemns&mdash;despite all this, the rubbing of the world upon a set of

-      nerves does not always make one merry; and in that humor I should

-      sometimes like to perpetrate a serious sentence. If ever I succumb to this

-      temptation of the writer's devil, please turn the page and do not linger

-      over the indiscretion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Therefore I shall pass quickly over the thin ice of sentiment, the days

-      when I felt lonely on my comfortable ledge, the hours I spent looking at

-      the fire. More amusing to tell you of the bright lining to my clouds; of

-      the sitting-room, for instance, low in the ceiling, commodious, and

-      shaped, I think, to fit the chimneys or the stairs or the water-butt

-      outside; at any rate, to suit something that required two unequal recesses

-      and three non-rectangular corners. It was on the ground-floor, and had two

-      French windows (of which the adjective cheered me, I think, as much as the

-      noun). These opened upon a little, stone-paved space, shaded by a high

-      tree in the park, and which I called my garden.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Rejecting some articles of my landlord's furniture as too splendid for an

-      untitled tenant&mdash;a plush-covered settee, for instance, and an

-      alabaster tea-table, adorned with cut-glass trophies from the drawing-room

-      of a bankrupt alderman&mdash;I replaced them by a bookcase, three

-      easy-chairs, and an inviting sofa of my own; I bought substitutes for the

-      engravings of &ldquo;The Child's First Prayer&rdquo; and &ldquo;The Last Kiss,&rdquo; and the

-      colored plates representing idyllic passages from the lives of honest

-      artisans, which had regaled my predecessor; I recurtained the dear French

-      windows.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Neither Mr. Titch nor his good wife entirely approved of these changes. In

-      fact, I suspect they would have given such a Goth notice to quit in a

-      month had it not been for the reflection that, after all, such

-      eccentricities were only to be expected of a foreigner. The English have a

-      most amusing contempt for the rest of mankind, accompanied by an equally

-      amusing toleration for the peculiarities that are naturaly associated with

-      such degenerates. The Chinese, I understand, have an equal national

-      modesty, but their contempt for the foreigner finds expression in a desire

-      to decapitate his mangled remains. John Bull, on the other hand, will not

-      only allow but expect you to walk upon your head, eat rats and mice,

-      maintain a staff of poisonous serpents, and even play the barrel-organ.

-      This goes to such a length that supposing you beat him at something he

-      most prides himself upon, such as rowing, boxing, or manufactures, he will

-      but smile and shake his head and say, &ldquo;These are, indeed, most remarkable

-      animals.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Mr. and Mrs. Titch were no exceptions to this rule, and I think that in

-      time they even came to have an affection for and a pride in their

-      preposterous tenant, much like an enthusiastic savant who handicaps

-      himself with a half-tamed cobra.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Mr. Titch was a little, gray-haired man, with a respectful manner overlaid

-      upon a consequential air. He had enjoyed varied experience as footman and

-      butler in several families of distinction, and my Halfred had been but a

-      short time in the house before he became tremendously impressed by Mr.

-      Titch's reminiscences of the great, and his vast knowledge of Halfred's

-      own profession.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Wonderful man, Mr. Titch, sir,&rdquo; he would say to me. &ldquo;What 'e don't know

-      about our Henglish haristocracy ain't worth knowing. You'd 'ardly believe

-      it, sir, but he seed the Dook of Balham puttin' his arm round Lady Sarah

-      Elcey's waist three months before their engagement was in the papers, and

-      the Dook 'e says to 'im, 'Titch,' says he, ''ere's a five-pun' note;

-      you're a man of discretion, you are, and what you sees you keeps to

-      yourself, don't you? I mean no 'arm,' he says. 'I'll hundertake to marry

-      the lady if you only gives me time.' And Mr. Titch, he lay low three 'ole

-      months a-knowing a secret like that.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Mr. Titch's caution and advice were certainly serviceable to Halfred, who

-      was rapidly becoming transformed from the cheerful 'bus-driver into the

-      obliging valet. Whether the world did not lose more than I gained by this

-      change I shall not undertake to say; but I can always console myself for

-      depriving society of a friend, and Halfred of his &ldquo;hinderpendence,&rdquo; by

-      picturing the little man, poorly protected by his nondescript rug, driving

-      his 'bus all day through the wind and the rain, he, at least, enjoyed the

-      transformation; and one result is worth a hundred admirable theories.

-      Besides, the virtues of Halfred remained the virtues of Halfred through

-      all the polishings of circumstances and Mr. Titch.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For the good Mrs. Titch, my discerning servant expressed a respect only a

-      shade less profound than his homage to her spouse. Now this excellent

-      lady, though motherly in appearance and wonderfully dignified in the black

-      silk in which she rustled to church of a Sunday, was not remarkable either

-      for acuteness of mind or that wide knowledge of the world enjoyed by Mr.

-      Titch. She knew little of the aristocracy except through his

-      reminiscences, though I am bound to say her respect for that august

-      institution was as profound as Major Pendennis himself could have desired.

-      Also her observations on that portion of the world she had met were

-      distinguished by an erroneous and solemn foolishness that cannot have

-      passed unnoticed by Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet he quoted and reverenced her with an inexplicable lack of

-      discrimination.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mrs. Titch is what I calls, sir, a genuwine lady in a 'umble sphere,&rdquo; he

-      once remarked to me. &ldquo;Her delicacy is surprisin'.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, there must be some mysterious glamour about these worthy people, and

-      this glamour I began to have dark suspicions was none other than Miss

-      Aramatilda Titch, daughter of the ex-butler and his genuine lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At first I saw this maiden seldom, and then only by glimpses. As more than

-      one of these revealed her in curl-papers, and as I do not appreciate woman

-      thus decked out, I paid her but little attention. But after a week or two

-      had passed I surprised her one afternoon conversing in my sitting-room

-      with the affable Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Miss Titch is a-lookin' to see if the windows want cleaning,&rdquo; he

-      explained. Though, as they were standing in the recess farthest removed

-      from the windows, I came to the conclusion that other matters also were

-      being discussed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was about this time that I had hired a piano to console my solitude,

-      and a day or two later, as I came towards my room, I heard a tinkle of

-      music. Pushing the door gently open, I saw Miss Aramatilda picking out the

-      air of a polka, and Halfred listening to this melody with the most

-      undisguised admiration.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This time his explanation was more lamely delivered, while Aramatilda

-      showed the liveliest confusion and dismay.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear Miss Titch,&rdquo; I assured her, &ldquo;by all means practise my piano while

-      I am out&mdash;provided, of course, that Mr. Winkles gives you permission.

-      She asked you, no doubt, if she might play it, Halfred?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This did not diminish their confusion, I am afraid, and after that their

-      concerts were better protected against surprise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Not that I should have objected very strongly to take Halfred's place as

-      audience one day, for these further opportunities of seeing Miss Titch

-      roused in me some sympathy with my valet. Aramatilda was undoubtedly

-      attractive with her hair freed from a too severe restraint, a plump,

-      brown-eyed young woman, smiling in the most engaging fashion when politely

-      addressed. Indeed, I should have addressed her more frequently had not

-      Halfred shown such evident interest in her himself. In these matters I

-      have always held it better that master and man should be separately

-      apportioned.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      There remains but one other inhabitant of this house who comes into my

-      story and that was a certain old gentleman living in the rooms immediately

-      over mine. In fact, we two were the only lodgers, and so, having few

-      friends as yet, I began to feel some interest in him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I had heard him referred to always as &ldquo;the General,&rdquo; and the few glimpses

-      I had had of him confirmed this title. Figure to yourself an erect man of

-      middle height, white-mustached, quick in his step, with an eye essentially

-      military&mdash;that is to say, expressionless in repose, keen when aroused&mdash;and

-      do you not allow that, if he is not a general, he at least ought to be?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is this general?&rdquo; I asked Halfred one day.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As rummy a old customer as ever was, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred. &ldquo;Been here for

-      three years and never 'ad a visitor inside his room all that time,

-      exceptin' one lady.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A lady?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;His&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't know, sir. Some says one thing, some says another. Kind o' a

-      hexotic, I calls 'im, sir. Miss Titch she thinks he's 'ad a affair of the

-      'eart; I think he booses same as a old pal o' mine what kept a chemist's

-      shop in Stepney used to. My friend he locks 'isself up in the back room

-      and puts away morphine and nicotine and strychnine and them things by the

-      'alf-pint. 'Ole days at it he were, sir, and all the time the small boys

-      a-sneak-ing cough-drops, and tooth-brushes for to make feathers for their

-      'ats when playin' at soldiers, and when the doctor he sees 'im at last he

-      says nothing but a hepileptic 'ome wouldn't do 'im any good.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You think, then, the General drinks?&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Either that or makes counterfeit coins, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, with an

-      ominous shake of his bullet head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I was quite aware of my Halfred's partiality for the melodramatic.

-      Nevertheless there was certainly something unusual in my neighbor's

-      conduct that excited my interest considerably. For I confess I am one of

-      those who are apt to be blind towards the mysteries of the obvious and the

-      miracles of every day, and to revel in the romance of the singular.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0037" id="linkimage-0037"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0010" id="link2HCH0010"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter X

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Seek you wine or seek you maid at the journey's end?</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Give to me at every stage the welcome of a friend!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Cyd.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0038" id="linkimage-0038"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9106.jpg" alt="9106 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9106.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      O not think that all this time I had lost sight of my new friends, the

-      fair-haired Dick Shafthead and the genial Teddy Lumme. On the contrary,

-      we had had more than one merry night together, and exchanged not a few

-      confidences. Very soon after I was settled, Dick had come round to my

-      rooms and criticised everything, from Halfred to the curtains. His tastes

-      were a trifle too austere to altogether appreciate these latter rather

-      sumptuous hangings.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They'll do for waistcoats if you ever go on the music-hall stage,&rdquo; he

-      observed, sardonically. &ldquo;That's why you got 'em, perhaps?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The very reason, my friend,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I cannot afford to get both new

-      waistcoats and new curtains; just as I am compelled to employ the same

-      person to get me out of jail and criticise my furniture.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are too witty, mossyour.&rdquo; (He came as near the pronunciation of my

-      title as that.) &ldquo;You should write some of these things down before you

-      forget 'em.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;For the French,&rdquo; I retorted, &ldquo;that precaution is unnecessary.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For Halfred, I am sorry to say, he did not at first show that appreciation

-      I had expected.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your 'bus-man,&rdquo; was the epithet he applied behind his back; though I am

-      bound to say his good-breeding made him so polite that Halfred, on his

-      side, conceived the highest opinion of my friend.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A real gentleman, Mr. Shafthead is, sir,&rdquo; he confided to me. &ldquo;What I

-      calls a hunmistakable toff. He hasn't got no side on, and he speaks to one

-      man like as he would to another. In fact, sir, he reminds me of Lord

-      Haugustus I once seed at the Hadelphi; a nobleman what said, 'I treats

-      hevery fellow-Briton as a gentleman so long as Britannia rules the waves

-      and 'e behaves 'isself accordingly.'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This may seem exaggerated praise, but, indeed, it would be difficult to

-      exaggerate my dear Dick's virtues. Doubtless his faults are being placed

-      in the opposite page of a ledger kept somewhere with his name upon the

-      cover; but that is no business of mine. To paste in parallel columns the

-      virtues of our friends and the faults of ourselves, that may be

-      unpleasant, but it is necessary if we are to turn the search-light inward.

-      Certain weak spots we must not look at too closely if we are to keep our

-      self-respect; but, my faith! we can well give the most of our humanity an

-      airing now and then; also, if possible, a fumigating. It was Dick

-      Shafthead, more than any other, who took my failings for a walk in the

-      sunshine, and somehow or other they always returned a little abashed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A very different person was his cousin Teddy Lumme, for whom, by-the-way,

-      I discovered Dick had a real regard carefully concealed behind a most

-      satirical attitude. Teddy was not clever&mdash;though shrewd enough within

-      strict limits; he was no moralist, no philosopher; <i>an observer chiefly

-      of the things least worth observing</i>&mdash;a performer upon the

-      tin-whistle of life. But, owing to his kindness of heart and ingenuous

-      disposition, he was wonderfully likable.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      His leisure moments were devoted, I believe, to the discharge of some duty

-      in the foreign office, though what precisely it was I could never, even by

-      the most ingenious cross-examination, discover. His father held the

-      respectable position of Bishop of Battersea; his mother was the Honorable

-      Mrs. Lumme. These excellent parents had a high regard for Teddy, whom they

-      considered likely to make his mark in the world.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I was taken to the bishopric (sic), and discussed with the most venerable

-      Lumme, senior, many points of interest to a foreigner.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Note of a conversation with Bishop of Battersea, taken down from memory a

-      few days after: <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;What is the difference between a High

-      Church and a Low Church?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;A High Church has a high conception of its duties towards

-      mankind, religion, the apostolic succession, and the costume of its

-      clergymen. A Low Church has the opposite.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;Are you Low Church?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;No.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;I understand that the conversion of the Pope is one of

-      your objects. Is that so?&rdquo; <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;Should the Pope approach us in

-      a proper spirit we should certainly be willing to admit him into our

-      fold.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Myself</i>. &ldquo;Have you written many theological works?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Bishop</i>. &ldquo;I believe tea is ready.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Afterwards further discussion on tithes, doctrine, and the Thirty-nine

-      Articles, of which I forget the details.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My friend Teddy did not live at the bishopric with his parents, but in

-      exceedingly well-appointed chambers near St. James Street. Here I met

-      various other young gentlemen of fortune and promise, who discussed with

-      me many questions of international interest&mdash;such as the price of

-      champagne in foreign hotels, the status of the music-hall artiste at home

-      and abroad, the best knot for the full-dress tie, and so forth.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick Shafthead did not often appear in this company.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Can't afford their amusements, and can't be bothered with their

-      conversation,&rdquo; he explained to me. &ldquo;Look in and have a pipe this evening

-      if you're doing nothing else. If you want cigars, bring your own; I've run

-      out.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And, after all, learning to perform upon the briar-pipe in Dick's society

-      under the old roof of the Temple, applauding or disapproving of our elders

-      and our betters, had infinitely more charm to me than those intellectual

-      conclaves at his cousin's, for six nights in the week at least. A

-      different mood, a different friend. Sometimes one desires in a companion

-      congenial depravity; at others, more points of contact.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This Temple where Dick lived is not a church, though there is a church

-      within it. It is one of those surprising secrets that London keeps and

-      shows you sometimes to reconcile you to her fogs. Out of the heart of the

-      traffic and the noise you turn through an ancient archway into a rabbit

-      warren of venerable and sober red buildings; each court and passage tidy,

-      sedate, and, if I may say it of a personage of brick, thoughtful and

-      kindly disposed to its inhabitants. This is the Temple, once the home of

-      the Knight Templars, now of English law. In one court Dick shared with a

-      friend an austerely furnished office where he received such work as the

-      solicitors sent him, and was ready to receive more. But it was on the top

-      flight of another staircase in another court-yard that he kept his

-      household gods.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He had come there, as I have said before, during a period of financial

-      depression, and there he had stayed ever since. I do not wonder at it;

-      though, to be sure, I think I should find it rather solitary of an

-      evening, when the offices emptied, silence fell upon the stairs and the

-      quadrangles, and there were only left in the whole vast warren the

-      sprinkling of permanent inhabitants who dwelt under the slates. Yet there

-      was I know not quite what about those old rooms, an aroma of the past, a

-      link with romance, that made them lovable. The panelled walls, the

-      undulating floors, the odd angle which held the fireplace, the beam across

-      the ceiling, the old furniture to match these, all had character; and to

-      what but character do we link sentiment?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Also the prospect from the windows was delightful; an open court, a few

-      trees, the angles of other ancient buildings, a glimpse of green turf in a

-      garden, a peep of more stems and branches, with the Thames beyond. Yes, it

-      was quite the neighborhood for a romantic episode to happen. And one day,

-      as you shall hear in time, it happened.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0039" id="linkimage-0039"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0011" id="link2HCH0011"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XI

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>And then I came to another castle where lived a giant whose name was

-      John Bull.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Maundeville (adapted).

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0040" id="linkimage-0040"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9112.jpg" alt="9112 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9112.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;O you dance?&rdquo; asked Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All night, if you will play to me,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ride?&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On a horse? Yes, my friend, I can even ride a horse.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, then, I say, d'you care to come to a ball at Seneschal Court, the

-      Trevor-Hudson's place; meet next day, and that sort of thing? Dick and I

-      are going. We'll be there about a week.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I do not know the&mdash;the very excellent people you have named.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, that's all right,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;They want a man or two. So few men

-      dance nowadays, don't you know. I keep it up myself a little; girls get

-      sick if I don't hop round with 'em now and then. Hullo, I see you've got a

-      card from my mater, for the twenty-ninth. Don't go, whatever you do. Sure

-      to be dull. The mater's shows always are. What did you think of that girl

-      the other night? Ha, ha! Told you so; I know all about women. What's this

-      book you're reading? French, by Jove! Pretty stiff, isn't it? Oh, o'

-      course you are French, aren't you? That makes a difference, I suppose.

-      Well, then, you'll come with us. Thursday, first. I'll let you know the

-      train.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I bring my Halfred?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Rather. Looks well to have a man with you. I'd bring mine, only he makes

-      a fuss if he can't have a bedroom looking south, and one can't insist on

-      people giving him that. Au revoir, mos-soo.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This was on Monday, so I had but little time for preparation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Halfred was at once taken into consultation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am going to hunt,&rdquo; I said; &ldquo;also to a ball; and you are coming with me.

-      Prepare me for the ballroom and the chase. What do I require beyond the

-      things I already have?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A pink coat and a 'ard 'at, sir,&rdquo; said he, with great confidence.

-      &ldquo;Likewise top-boots and white gloves for to dance in, not forgettin' a

-      pair o' spurs and a whip.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall get the hat, the coat, and the boots. Gloves I have already. You

-      will buy me the spurs and the whip. By-the-way, have you ever hunted,

-      Halfred?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not exactly 'unted myself, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;but I've seed the 'unt go by,

-      and knowed a lot o' 'unting-men. Then, bein' connected with hosses so much

-      myself I've naterally took a hinterest in the turf and the racin'-stable.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0041" id="linkimage-0041"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0114.jpg" alt="0114m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0114.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are a judge of horses?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir, I am generally considered to know something about 'em. In

-      fact, sir, Mr. Widdup&mdash;that's the gentleman what give me the

-      testimonial&mdash;he's said to me more nor once, 'Halfred,' says he, 'what

-      you don't know about these 'ere hanimals would go into a pill-box

-      comfertable.'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Find me two hunters that I can hire for a week.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The little man looked me up and down with a discriminating eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Something that can carry a bit o' weight, sir, and stand a lot o' 'ard

-      riding; that's what you need, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Now, I am not heavy, nor had circumstances hitherto given me the

-      opportunity of riding excessively hard, but the notion that I was indeed a

-      gigantic Nimrod tempted my fancy, and I am ashamed to confess that I fell.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0042" id="linkimage-0042"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0115.jpg" alt="0115m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0115.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that is exactly what I require.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Leave it to me, sir,&rdquo; he assured me, with great confidence. &ldquo;I'll make

-      hall the arrangements.&rdquo; My mind was now easy, and for the two following

-      days I studied all the English novels treating of field sports, and the

-      articles on hunting in the encyclopaedias and almanacs, so that when

-      Thursday arrived and I met my friends at the station I felt myself

-      qualified to take part with some assurance in their arguments on the

-      chase. We are a receptive race, we French, and the few accomplishments we

-      have not actually created we can at least quickly comprehend and master.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Next door to us, in a second-class compartment, Halfred was travelling,

-      and attached to our train was the horse-box containing the two hunters he

-      had engaged. I had had one look at these, and certainly there seemed to be

-      no lack of bone and muscle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mr. Widdup and me 'ired 'em, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, &ldquo;from a particular

-      friend o' ours what can be trusted. Jumps like fleas, they do, he says,

-      and 'as been known to run for sixty-five miles without stoppin' more'n

-      once or twice for a drink. 'Ard in the mouth and 'igh in the temper, says

-      he, but the very thing for a gentleman in good 'ealth what doesn't 'unt

-      regular and likes 'is money's worth when he does.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have exactly described me,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But if I had the advantage over my two friends in the suite I was taking

-      with me, Teddy Lumme certainly led the way in conversation. He was vastly

-      impressed with the importance of our party (a sentiment he succeeded in

-      communicating to the guard and the other officials); also with the

-      respectability of the function we were going to attend, and with the

-      inferiority of other travellers on that railway. This air of triumphal

-      progress or coronation procession was still further increased by the

-      indefatigable attentions of Halfred, who at every station ran to our

-      carriage door, touched his hat, and made inquiries concerning our comfort

-      and safety; so that more than once a loyal cheer was raised as the train

-      steamed out again, and Dick even declared that at an important junction he

-      perceived the Lord Alayor's daughter approaching with a basket of flowers.

-      Unfortunately, however, she did not reach our carriage in time.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0043" id="linkimage-0043"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0117.jpg" alt="0117m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0117.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      The glories of this pageant he was partaking in filled Teddy's mind with

-      reminiscences of other scenes where he had played an equally distinguished

-      part.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I remember one day with the Quorn last year,&rdquo; he remarked. &ldquo;Devil of a

-      run we had; seventy-five minutes without a check. When we'd killed, I said

-      to a man, 'Got anything to drink?' It was Pluckham. You know Lord

-      Pluckham, Dick?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;His bankruptcy case went through our chambers,&rdquo; said Dick, dryly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dashed hard lines that was,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;He's a good chap, is Pluckham;

-      kept the best whiskey in England. By Jove! I never had a drink like that.

-      A man needs one after riding with the Quorn.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And Teddy puffed his cigar and chewed the cud of that proud moment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where are our horses, Teddy?&rdquo; asked Dick. &ldquo;Coming down by a special

-      train?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, they are mounting me,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Trevor-Hudson always keeps a

-      couple of his best for me. What are you doing?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Following on a bicycle,&rdquo; replied Dick. &ldquo;My five grooms and six horses

-      haven't turned up.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear Shafthead,&rdquo; said I, &ldquo;I shall lend you one of mine.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Many thanks,&rdquo; he answered, with gratitude, no doubt, but with less

-      enthusiasm than I should have expected. &ldquo;Unfortunately I've seen 'em.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And do you not care to ride them?&rdquo; I asked, with some disappointment, I

-      confess.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not alone,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;If you'll lend me Halfred to sit behind and keep

-      the beast steady I don't mind trying.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I said, with a shrug.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This strain of a brutality that is peculiarly British occasionally

-      disfigures my dear Dick. Yet I continue to love him&mdash;judge, then, of

-      his virtues.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are they good fencers?&rdquo; asked Lumme.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have not yet seen them with the foils,&rdquo; I replied, smiling politely at

-      what seemed a foolish joke.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;do they take their jumps well?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I laughed. &ldquo;Yes, I am told they are excellent&mdash;if the wall

-      is not too high. We shall not find them more than six feet?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But I was assured that obstacles of more than this elevation would not be

-      met frequently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do they take water all right?&rdquo; asked the inquisitive Teddy again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Both that and corn,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But Halfred will attend to these

-      matters.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      English humor is peculiar. I had not meant to make a jest, yet I was

-      applauded for this simple answer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tell me what to look for in my hosts,&rdquo; I said to Dick, presently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Money and money's worth,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What we call the nouveau riche?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On the contrary, what is called a long pedigree, nowadays&mdash;two

-      generations of squires, two of captains of industry (I think that is the

-      proper term), and before that the imagination of the Herald's Office.

-      There is also a pretty daughter&mdash;isn't there, Teddy?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Quite a nice little thing,&rdquo; said Lumme, graciously.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I thought you rather fancied her.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm off women at present,&rdquo; the venerable <i>roué</i> declared.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick's grin at hearing this sentiment was more eloquent than any comment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But now we had reached our destination. Halfred and a very stately

-      footman, assisted by the station-master, the ticket-collector, and all the

-      porters, transferred our luggage to a handsome private omnibus; then,

-      Halfred having arranged that the horses should be taken to stables in the

-      village (since my host's were full), we all bowled off between the

-      hedge-rows.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was a beautiful October evening, still clear overhead and red in the

-      west; the plumage of the trees had just begun to turn a russet brown; the

-      air was very fresh after the streets of London; our horses rattled at a

-      most exhilarating pace.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My faith,&rdquo; I exclaimed, &ldquo;this is next to heaven! I shall be buried in the

-      country.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Those hunters of yours ought to manage it for you,&rdquo; observed Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet I forgave him again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We turned through an imposing gateway, and now we were in a wide and

-      charming English park. Undulating turf and stately trees spread all round

-      us and ended only in the dusk of the evening; a herd of deer galloped from

-      our path; rooks cawed in the branches overhead; a gorgeous pheasant ran

-      for shelter towards a thicket. Then, on one side, came an ivy-covered wall

-      over whose top high, dark evergreens stood up like Ethiopian giants.

-      Evidently these were the gardens, and in a moment more we were before the

-      house itself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As I went from the carriage to the door I had just time and light to see

-      that it was a very great mansion, not old, apparently, but tempered enough

-      by time to inspire a kindly feeling of respect. A high tower rose over the

-      door, and along the front, on either side, creepers climbed between the

-      windows, and these gave an impression at once of stateliness and home.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      By the aid of two servants, who were nearly as tall as the tower, we were

-      led first through an ample vestibule adorned with a warlike array of

-      spears. These, I was informed, belonged to the body-guard of my host when

-      he was high sheriff of his county, and this explanation, though it took

-      from them the romance of antiquity, gave me, nevertheless, a pleasanter

-      sensation than if they had been brandished at Flodden. They were a relic

-      not of a dead but a living feudalism, a symbol that a sovereign still

-      ruled this land. And this reminded me of the reason I was here and the

-      cause for which I still hoped to fight; and for a moment it saddened me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But again I commit the crime of being serious; also the still less

-      pardonable offence of leaving my two friends standing outside the doors of

-      the hall.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Hastily I rejoin them; the doors open, a buzz of talk within suddenly

-      subsides, and we march across the hall in single file to greet our host

-      and hostess. What I see during this brief procession is a wide and high

-      room, a gallery running round it, a great fireplace at the farther end,

-      and a company of nearly twenty people sitting or standing near the fire

-      and engaged in the consumption of tea and the English crumpet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I am presented, received in a very off-hand fashion, told to help myself

-      to tea and crumpet, and then left to my own devices. Lumme and Shafthead

-      each find an acquaintance to speak to, my host and hostess turn to their

-      other guests, and, with melted butter oozing from my crumpet into my tea,

-      I do my best to appear oblivious of the glances which I feel are being

-      directed at me. I look irresolutely towards my hostess. She is faded,

-      affected, and talkative; but her talk is not for me, and, in fact, she has

-      already turned her back. And my host? He is indeed looking at me fixedly

-      out of a somewhat bloodshot eye, while he stuffs tea-cake into a capacious

-      mouth; but when I meet his gaze, he averts his eyes. A cheerful couple; a

-      kindly reception! &ldquo;What does it mean?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I ask myself. &ldquo;Has Lumme exceeded his powers in bringing me here?&rdquo; I

-      remember that at his instigation Mrs. Trevor-Hudson sent me a brief note

-      of invitation, but possibly she repented afterwards. Or is my appearance

-      so unpleasant? In France, I tell myself, it was not generally considered

-      repulsive. In fact, I can console myself with several instances to the

-      contrary but possibly English standards of taste are different.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At last I venture to accost a gentleman who, at the moment, is also

-      silent.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you also come from London?&rdquo; I ask.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I? No. Live near here,&rdquo; he says, and turns to resume his conversation

-      with a lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I am seriously thinking of taking my departure before there is any active

-      outbreak of hostilities, when I see a stout gentleman, with a very red

-      face, approaching me from the farther side of the fireplace. I have

-      noticed him staring at me with, it seemed, undisguised animosity, and I am

-      preparing the retort with which I shall answer his request to immediately

-      leave the house, when he remarks, in a bluff, cheerful voice, as he

-      advances: &ldquo;Bringin' your horses, I hear.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am, sir,&rdquo; I reply, in great surprise.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Lumme was tellin' me,&rdquo; he adds, genially. &ldquo;Ever hunted this country

-      before?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And in a moment I find myself engaged in a friendly conversation, which is

-      as suddenly interrupted by a very beautifully dressed apparition with a

-      very long mustache, who calls my short friend &ldquo;Sir Henry,&rdquo; and consults

-      him about an accident that has befallen his horse. But I began to see the

-      theory of this reception. It is an Englishman's idea of making you&mdash;and

-      himself&mdash;feel at home.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0044" id="linkimage-0044"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0124.jpg" alt="0124m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0124.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      You eat as much cake as you please, talk to anybody you please, remain

-      silent as long as you please, leave the company if you please and smoke a

-      pipe, and you are not interfered with by any one while doing these things.

-      To introduce you to somebody might bore you; you may not be a

-      conversationalist, and may prefer to stand and stare like a surfeited ox.

-      Well, if such are your tastes it would be interfering with the liberty of

-      the subject to cross them. What was the use of King John signing the Magna

-      Charta if an Englishman finds himself compelled to be agreeable?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This idea having dawned upon me and my courage returned, I cast my eyes

-      round the company, and selecting the prettiest girl made straight at her.

-      She received me with a smiling eye and the most delightful manner

-      possible, and as she talked and I looked more closely at her, I saw that

-      she was even fairer than I had thought.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Picture a slim figure, rather under middle height, a bright eye that

-      sparkled as though there was dew upon it, piquant little features that all

-      joined in a frequent and quite irresistible smile; and, finally, dress

-      this dainty demoiselle in the most fascinating costume you can imagine.

-      Need it be said that I was soon emboldened to talk quite frankly and

-      presently to ask her who some of the company were? &ldquo;Sir Henry&rdquo; turned out

-      to be Sir Henry Horley, a prosperous baronet, who scarcely ever left the

-      saddle; the gentleman with the long mustache, to be Lord Thane, an elder

-      son with political aspirations; while the man I had first accosted was no

-      less a person than Mr. H. Y. Tonks, the celebrated cricketer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now will you point out to me Miss Trevor-Hudson?&rdquo; I asked. &ldquo;I hear

-      she is very beautiful.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who told you that?&rdquo; she inquired, with a more charming smile than ever.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Her admirers,&rdquo; I answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The girl raised her eyebrows, shot me the archest glance in the world, and

-      pointing her finger to her own breast, said, simply:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;There she is.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I said to myself that though my friend Teddy Lumme was &ldquo;off women,&rdquo; I, at

-      any rate, was not.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0045" id="linkimage-0045"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0012" id="link2HCH0012"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Our language is needlessly complicated. Why, for instance, have two

-      such words as 'woman' and 'discord,' when one would serve?</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0046" id="linkimage-0046"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9127.jpg" alt="9127 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9127.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      RESENTLY the men retired to smoke, and for an hour or two I had to tear

-      myself from the smiles of Miss Trevor-Hudson.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The smoking-room opened into the billiard-room, and some played pool while

-      the rest of us sat about the fire and discussed agriculture, the

-      preservation of pheasants, and, principally, horses, hounds, and foxes. A

-      short fragment will show you the standard of eloquence to which we

-      attained. It is founded, I admit, more on imagination than memory, but is

-      sufficiently accurate for the purpose of illustration. As to who the

-      different speakers were you can please your fancy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Are your turnips large?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Not so devilish bad. Did you go to the meet on

-      Tuesday?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Yes, and I noticed Charley Tootle there.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Third Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Ridin' his bay horse or his black?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;The bay.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fourth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Oats make better feeding.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;My man prefers straw.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Did you fish this summer?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Third Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;No; I shot buffaloes instead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Where&mdash;Kamchatka or Japan?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Third Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Japan. Kamchatka's getting overshot.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;I am having it laid on.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;What system do you use?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the

-      conservatory cistern.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Sounds a devilish good notion.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Now, let me tell you my experience of those

-      self-lengthening stirrups.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;Do you supply your pheasants with warm water?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman.</i> &ldquo;I am having it laid on.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;What system do you use?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Second Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Two-inch pipes attached by a rotatory tap to the

-      conservatory cistern.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>Fifth Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Sounds a devilish good notion.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>First Sportsman</i>. &ldquo;Now, let me tell you my experience of those self-

-      lengthening stirrups.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And so on till the booming of a gong summoned us to dress for dinner.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Dick, as we went to our rooms, &ldquo;you looked as though your

-      mind was being improved.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is trying to become adjusted,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      On our way we passed along the gallery overlooking the hall, and suddenly

-      I was struck by the contrast between this house and its inhabitants: on

-      the one hand the splendid proportions and dignity of this great hall, dark

-      under the oak beams of the roof, fire-light and lamp-light falling below

-      upon polished floor and carpets of the East; the library lined with what

-      was best in English literature, the walls with the worthiest in English

-      art; on the other, my heavy-eyed host full of port and prejudices, and as

-      meshed about by unimaginative limitations as any strawberry-bed. Possibly

-      I am too foreign, and only see the surface, but then how is one to suspect

-      a gold-mine beneath a vegetable garden?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At dinner I found myself seated between Lady Thane and Miss Rosalie

-      Horley. Lady Thane, wife to the nobleman with the long mustache, had an

-      attractive face, but took herself seriously. In man this is dangerous, in

-      woman fatal. I turned to my other neighbor and partially obtained my

-      consolation there. She was young, highly colored, hearty, and ingenuous,

-      and proved so appreciative a listener as nearly to suffocate herself with

-      an oyster-paté when I told her how I had burgled Fisher. The remainder of

-      my consolation I obtained from the prospect, directly opposite, of Miss

-      Trevor-Hudson. She was sitting next to Teddy Lumme, and if it had not been

-      for his express declaration to the contrary I should have said he was far

-      from insusceptible to her charms. Yet, since I knew his real sentiments, I

-      did not hesitate to distract her glance when possible.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      After dinner a great bustling among the ladies, a great putting on of

-      overcoats and lighting of cigars among the men, and then we all embarked

-      in an immense omnibus and clattered off to the ball. This dance was being

-      held in the county town some miles away, so that for more than half an

-      hour I sat between Dick and Teddy on a seat behind the driver's, my cigar

-      between my teeth, a very excellent dinner beneath my overcoat, and my

-      heart as light as a sparrow's. On either side the rays of our lamps danced

-      like fire-flies along the woods and hedge-rows, but my fancy seemed to run

-      still faster than these meteor companions, and already I pictured myself

-      claiming six dances from Miss Trevor-Hudson.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But now other lights began to appear, twinkling through trees before us,

-      and presently we were clattering up the high street of the market-town.

-      Other carriages were already congregated about the assembly rooms at the

-      Checkered Boar, a crowd of spectators had gathered before the door to

-      stare at visions of lace and jewelry, the strains of the band came through

-      an open window, and altogether there was an air of revelry that I suppose

-      only visited the little borough once a year. Inside the doors, waiters

-      with shining heads and ruddy faces waved us on up and down stairs and

-      along passages, where, at intervals, we met other guests as resplendent as

-      ourselves, till at last we reached the ballroom itself. This was a long,

-      low room with a shining floor, an old-fashioned wall-paper decorated with

-      a pattern of pink roses, and a great blaze of candles to light it up. It

-      was evident that many generations of squires must have danced beneath

-      those candles and between the rose-covered walls, and this suggestion of

-      old-worldness had a singularly pleasant flavor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In a recess about the middle of the room the orchestra were tuning up for

-      another waltz; at one end the more important families were assembling; at

-      the other, the lesser. Need I say that we joined the former group?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In English country dances it usually is the custom to have programmes on

-      which you write the names of your partners for the evening. I now looked

-      round to secure one particular partner, but she was not to be seen. The

-      waltz had begun; I scanned the dancers. There was Shafthead tearing round

-      with Miss Horley, his athletic figure moving well, his good features lit

-      by a smile he could assume most agreeably when on his best behavior. There

-      was the stout Sir Henry revolving with the more deliberate pomp of sixty

-      summers. But where were the bright eyes? Suddenly I spied the skirt of a

-      light-blue dress through the opening of a doorway. I rushed for it, and

-      there, out in the passage, was the misogamist Lumme evidently entreating

-      Miss Trevor-Hudson for more dances than she was willing to surrender. For

-      her sake this must be stopped.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have come to make a modest request,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Will you give me a dance&mdash;or

-      possibly two?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With the sweetest air she took her programme from the disconcerted, and I

-      do not think very amiable, Teddy, and handed it to me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have taken three, seven, and fourteen,&rdquo; I said, giving it back to her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fourteen is mine,&rdquo; cried Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not now, I said, smiling.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I had booked it,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your name was not there,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And now, Miss Hudson, if you are

-      not dancing this dance will you finish it with me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She took my arm, and the baffled despiser of women was left in the

-      passage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This may sound hard treatment to be dealt out to a friend, and, indeed, I

-      fear that though outwardly calm, and even polite to exaggeration, my

-      indignation had somewhat run away with me. Had I any excuse? Yes; two eyes

-      that, as I have said, were bright as the dew, and a smile not to be

-      resisted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She danced divinely, she let me clasp her hand tenderly yet firmly, and

-      she smiled at me when she was dancing with others. I noticed once or twice

-      when we danced together that Lumme also smiled at her, but I was convinced

-      she did not reply to this. In fact, his whole conduct seemed to me merely

-      presumptuous and impertinent. How mine seemed to him I cannot tell you.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0047" id="linkimage-0047"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0133.jpg" alt="0133m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0133.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      He had secured the advantage of engaging several dances before I had time

-      to interfere, and also possessed one other&mdash;a scarlet evening-coat,

-      the uniform of the hunt. But I glanced in the mirror, and said to myself

-      that I did not grudge him this adornment, while as for my fewer number of

-      dances, I found my partner quite willing to allow me others to which I was

-      not legally entitled. In this way I obtained number thirteen, to the

-      detriment of Mr. Tonks, and was just prepared to embark upon number

-      fourteen when Lumme approached us with an air I did not approve of.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;This is my dance,&rdquo; he said, in a manner inexcusable in the presence of a

-      lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;It is mine.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Miss Hudson looked from one to the other of us with a delightfully

-      perplexed expression, but, I fear, with a little wickedness in her brown

-      eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What am I to do?&rdquo; she said, with a shrug of her shoulders.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is my dance,&rdquo; repeated Teddy, glaring fixedly at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I shrugged my shoulders, smiled, and offered her my arm to lead her away.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am sorry, Mr. Lumme,&rdquo; said the cause of this strife, sweetly, &ldquo;but I am

-      afraid Mr. D'Haricot's name is on my programme.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Teddy made a tragic bow that would have done credit to a dyspeptic frog,

-      and I danced off with my prize. At the end of the waltz he came up to me

-      with a carefully concocted sneer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You know how to sneak dances, moshyour,&rdquo; he observed. &ldquo;Do you do

-      everything else as well?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I kept my temper and replied, suavely, &ldquo;Yes, I shoot tolerably with the

-      pistol, and can use the foils.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Like your cab-horses?&rdquo; sneered Teddy, taking no notice, however, of the

-      implied invitation to console himself if aggrieved. &ldquo;I'm keen to see how

-      long you stick on top of those beasts.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good, my friend,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I take that as a challenge to ride a race.

-      We shall see to-morrow who first catches the fox!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0048" id="linkimage-0048"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0013" id="link2HCH0013"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>With his horse and his hounds in the morning!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;English Ballad.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0049" id="linkimage-0049"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9136.jpg" alt="9136 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9136.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HEN I awoke next morning, my first thoughts were of a pair of brown eyes,

-      dainty features that smiled up at me, and a voice that whispered as we

-      danced for the last time together, &ldquo;No, I shall not forget you when you

-      are gone.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Then, quickly, I remembered the sport before me, and the challenge to ride

-      to the death with the rival who had crossed my path.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The little man looked up from the pile of clothes he was folding in the

-      early morning light, and stopped the gentle hissing that accompanied, and

-      doubtless lightened, every task.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fasten my spurs on firmly,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I shall ride hard to-day.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He cannot have noticed the grave note in my voice, for he replied, in his

-      customary cheerful fashion, &ldquo;If hevervthing sticks on as well as the

-      spurs, sir, you won't 'ave nothin' to complain of.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall ride very hard, Halfred.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Arder nor usual, sir?&rdquo; he asked, with a look of greater interest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0050" id="linkimage-0050"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0137.jpg" alt="0137m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0137.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Vastly, immeasurably!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What's hup, sir?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in some concern now.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have made a little bet with Mr. Lumme,&rdquo; I answered in a serious voice,

-      &ldquo;a small wager that I shall be the first to catch the fox. If you can make

-      a suggestion that may help me to win, I shall be happy to listen to it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Catch the fox, sir?&rdquo; he repeated, thoughtfully, scratching his head.

-      &ldquo;Well, sir, it seems to me there's nothin' for it but starting hoff first

-      and not lettin' 'im catch you up. I 'aven't 'unted myself, sir, but I've

-      'eard tell as 'ow a sharp gent sometimes spots the fox afore any of the

-      hothers. That's 'ow to do it, in my opinion.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I thought this over and the scheme seemed excellent.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We shall arrange it thus,&rdquo; I said: &ldquo;You will mount one horse and I the

-      other. We shall ride together and look for the fox.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Conceive of my servant's delight. I do not believe that if I had offered

-      him a hundred pounds he would have felt so much joy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I dressed myself with the most scrupulous accuracy, for I was resolved

-      that nothing about me should suggest the novice. My pink coat fitted to

-      within half a little wrinkle in an inconspicuous place, my breeches were a

-      miracle of sartorial art, the reflection from my top-boots perceptibly

-      lightened the room. No one at the breakfast-table cut more dash. I had

-      secured a seat beside Miss Trevor-Hudson and we jested together with a

-      friendliness that must have disturbed Lumme, for he watched us furtively,

-      with a dark look on his face, and never addressed a word to a soul all the

-      time.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall expect you to give me a lead to-day,&rdquo; she said to me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you well mounted?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am riding my favorite gray.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ride hard, then,&rdquo; I said, loud enough for Lumme to hear me. &ldquo;The lead I

-      give will be a fast one!&rdquo; Before breakfast was over we had been joined by

-      guest after guest who had come for the meet. Outside the house carriages

-      and dog-carts, spectators on foot, grooms with horses, and sportsmen who

-      had already breakfasted were assembled in dozens, and the crowd was

-      growing greater every moment. I adjusted my shining hat upon my head and

-      went out to look for Halfred. There he was, the centre evidently of

-      considerable interest and admiration, perched high upon one of the

-      gigantic and noble quadrupeds, and grasping the other by the reins. His

-      livery of deep-plum color, relieved by yellow cording, easily

-      distinguished him from all other grooms, while my two steeds appeared

-      scarcely to be able to restrain their generous impatience, for it required

-      three villagers at the head of each to control their exhilaration.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I congratulate you,&rdquo; I said to my servant. &ldquo;The <i>tout ensemble</i> is

-      excellent.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At that moment his mount began to plunge like a ship at sea, and the

-      little man went up and down at such a rate that he could only gasp:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Old 'im, you there chaw-bacons! 'Old 'im tight! 'E won't 'urt you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      In response to this petition the villagers leaped out of range and uttered

-      incomprehensible sounds, much to my amusement. This, however, was quickly

-      changed to concern when I observed my own steed suddenly stand upon end

-      and flourish his fore-legs like a heraldic emblem.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have overfed them with oats,&rdquo; I said to Halfred, severely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0051" id="linkimage-0051"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0140.jpg" alt="0140m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0140.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oats be&mdash;&rdquo; he began, and then pitched on to the mane, &ldquo;oats be&mdash;&rdquo;

-       and here he just clutched the saddle in time to save himself from retiring

-      over the tail&mdash;&ldquo;oats be blowed!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It ain't oats that's the matter with 'em,&rdquo; said a bluff voice behind me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I turned and saw Sir Henry looking with an experienced eye at this

-      performance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is it?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Vice,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;I know that fiddle-headed brute well; no mistakin' him.

-      It's the beast that broke poor Oswald's neck last season. His widow sold

-      him to a dealer at Rugby for fifteen pounds, and, by Jove! here he is

-      again, just waitin' for a chance to break yours!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He turned his critical eye to Halfred's refractory steed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I think I remember that dancin' stallion, too,&rdquo; he added, grimly.

-      &ldquo;Gad! you'll have some fun to-day, monsieur!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This was cheerful, but there was no getting out of it now. Indeed, the

-      huntsman and the pack were already leading the way to the first covert and

-      everybody was on the move behind them. I mounted my homicide during one of

-      its calmer intervals, the villagers bolted out of the way, and in a moment

-      we were clearing a course through the throng like a charge of cavalry.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Steady there, steady!&rdquo; bawled the master of the hunt. &ldquo;Keep back, will

-      you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With some difficulty I managed to take my mount plunging and sidling out

-      to where Halfred was galloping in circles at a little distance from the

-      rest of the field.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where are the hounds?&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Where is the fox?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In among them trees,&rdquo; replied Halfred, as we galloped together towards

-      the master.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let us go after them!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Lumme waits behind with the others.

-      Now is our chance!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come on, sir!&rdquo; said Halfred, and we dashed past the master at a pace that

-      scarcely gave us time to hear the encouraging cry with which he greeted

-      us.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The wood was small, but the trees were densely packed, and it was only by

-      the most miraculous good luck, aided also by skilful management, that we

-      avoided injury from the branches. Somewhere before us we could hear the

-      baying of the hounds, and we directed our course accordingly. Suddenly

-      there arose a louder clamor and we caught a glimpse of white and tan forms

-      leaping towards us. But we scarcely noticed these, for at that same

-      instant we had espied a small, brown animal slipping away almost under our

-      horses' feet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The fox!&rdquo; cried Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The fox!&rdquo; I shouted, bending forward and aiming a blow at it with my

-      whip.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With a loud cheer we turned and burst through the covert in hot pursuit,

-      and, easily out-distancing the 'hounds, broke into the open with nothing

-      before us but Reynard himself. Figure to yourself the sensation!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0052" id="linkimage-0052"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0143.jpg" alt="0143m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0143.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Ah, that I could inoculate you with some potent fluid that should set your

-      blood on fire and make you feel the intoxication of that chase as you read

-      my poor, bald words! Over a fence we went and descended on the other side,

-      myself hatless, Halfred no longer perched upon the saddle, but clinging

-      manfully to the more forward portions of his steed. Then, through a wide

-      field of grass we tore. This field was lined all down the farther side by

-      a hedge of thorns quite forty feet high, which the English call a

-      &ldquo;bulrush.&rdquo; At one corner I observed a gate, and having never before

-      charged such a barrier, I endeavored to direct my horse towards this. But

-      no! He had seen the fox go through the hedge, and I believe he was

-      inspired by as eager a desire to catch it as I was myself. I shut my eyes,

-      I lowered my head, I felt my cheek torn by something sharp and heard a

-      great crash of breaking branches, and then, behold! I was on the farther

-      side! My spurs had instinctively been driven harder into my horse's flank,

-      and though I had long since dropped my whip, they proved sufficient to

-      encourage him to still greater exertions.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Finding that he was capable of directing his course unassisted, and

-      perceiving also that he had taken the bit so firmly between his teeth as

-      to preclude the possibility of my guiding him with any certainty, I

-      discarded the reins (which of course were now unnecessary), and confined

-      my attention to seeing that he should not be hampered by my slipping on my

-      saddle. One brief glance over my shoulder showed me his stable companion

-      following hard, in spite of the inconvenience of having to support his

-      rider up on his neck, and racing alongside came the foremost hounds.

-      Behind the pack were scattered in a long procession pink coats and

-      galloping horses, dark habits and more galloping horses. I tried to pick

-      out my rival, but at that instant my horse rose to another fence and my

-      attention was distracted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Another field, this time ploughed, and a stiffer job now for my good

-      horse. Yet he would certainly have overtaken our quarry in a few minutes

-      longer had he selected that part of the next fence I wished him to jump.

-      But, alas! he must take it at its highest, and the ploughed field had

-      proved too exhausting. We rose, there was a crash, and I have a dim

-      recollection of wondering on which portion of my frame I should fall.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then I knew no more till I found myself in the arms of the faithful

-      Halfred, with neither horse, hounds, fox, nor huntsmen in sight.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did you catch it?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;but I give it a rare fright.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But I had scarcely heard these consoling words before I swooned again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0053" id="linkimage-0053"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0014" id="link2HCH0014"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XIV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>You feel yourself insulted? That is fortunate, for otherwise I should

-      have been compelled to!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0054" id="linkimage-0054"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9145.jpg" alt="9145 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9145.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ICTURE me now, stretched upon a sofa in the very charming morning-room of

-      Seneschal Court, a little bruised, a little shaken still, but making a

-      quick progress towards recovery. Exasperating, no doubt, to be inactive

-      and an invalid when others are well and spending the day in hunting and

-      shooting, but I had two consolations. First of all, Lumme had not beaten

-      me. He, too, had been dismounted a few fields farther on, and though he

-      had ridden farthest, yet I had gone fastest, and could fairly claim to

-      have at least divided the honors. But consolation number two would, I

-      think, have atoned even in the absence of consolation number one. In two

-      words, this comfort was my nurse. Yes, you can picture Amy Trevor-Hudson

-      sitting by the side of that sofa, intent upon a piece of fancy-work that

-      progresses at the rate of six stitches a day, yet not so intent as to be

-      unable to converse with her guest and patient.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are really feeling better to-day?&rdquo; she asks, with that sparkling

-      glance of her brown eyes that accompanies every word, however trivial.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thank you; I have eaten two eggs and a plate of bacon for breakfast, and

-      should doubtless be looking forward now to lunch if my thoughts were not

-      so much more pleasantly employed.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you thinking, then, that you will soon be well enough to go away?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am thinking,&rdquo; I reply, &ldquo;that for some days I shall still be invalid

-      enough to lie here and talk to you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She does not look up at this, but I can see a charming smile steal over

-      her face and stay there while I look at her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who did you say these things to last?&rdquo; she inquires, presently, still

-      looking at her work.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What things? That I am fond of luncheon&mdash;or that I am fond of you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I meant,&rdquo; she replies, looking at me this time with the archest glance,

-      &ldquo;what girl did you last tell that you were fond of her?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Now, honestly, I cannot answer this question off-hand with accuracy. I

-      should have to think, and that is not good for an invalid.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I cannot tell you, because I do not remember her.&rdquo; I reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She puts a wrong construction on this&mdash;as I had anticipated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't believe you,&rdquo; she says. &ldquo;I am sure you must have said these

-      things before.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you think my words are false, how can I help myself?&rdquo; I ask, with the

-      air of one impaled upon an ignited stake, yet resigned to this position.

-      &ldquo;I dare not dispute with you, even to save my character, for fear you

-      become angry and leave me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She smiles again, gives me another dazzling glance, and then, with the

-      elusiveness of woman, turns the subject to this wonderful piece of work

-      that she is doing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you think of this flower?&rdquo; she asks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      To obtain the critical reply she desires entails her coming to the side of

-      the couch and holding one edge of the work while I hold the other. Then I

-      endeavor to hold both edges and somehow find myself holding her hand as

-      well. It happens so naturally that she takes no notice of this occurrence

-      but stands there smiling down at me and talking of this flower while I

-      look up at her face and talk also of the flower. In fact, she seems first

-      conscious of that chance encounter of hands when a step is heard in the

-      passage. Then, indeed, she withdraws to her seat and the very faintest

-      rise in color might be distinguished by one who had acquired the habit of

-      looking at her closely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was Dick Shafthead who entered, in riding-breeches and top-boots. I may

-      say, by-the-way, that he had not been reduced to a bicycle. On the

-      contrary, he made an excellent display upon a horse for one who affected

-      to be too poor to ride.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My horse went lame,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;so I thought I'd come back and have a

-      look at the patient.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      From his look I could sec that he was unprepared to find me already

-      provided with a nurse. Not that it was the first time she had been here&mdash;but

-      then I did not happen to have mentioned that to Dick. In a few moments Amy

-      left us and he looked with a quizzical smile first at the door through

-      which she had gone and then at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You take it turn about, I see,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I didn't know the arrangement

-      or I shouldn't have interrupted.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I beg your pardon?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Either my head is still somewhat confused

-      or I do not understand English as well as I thought.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I imagined Teddy was having a walk-over,&rdquo; said he, with a laugh.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      None are so quick of apprehension as the jealous. Already a dark suspicion

-      smote me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you allude to Miss Trevor-Hudson?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who else?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And you thought Teddy was having what you call a walk-over?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;But it is none of my business.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is my business,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;to see that this charming lady does not

-      have her name associated with a man she only regards as the merest

-      acquaintance.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Has she told you that is how she looks on Teddy?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She has.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick laughed outright.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What are your hours?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;When does Miss Hudson visit the

-      sick-bed?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you must know,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;she has had the kindness to visit me every

-      morning; also in the evening.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then Teddy has the afternoons,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But he has been hunting.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He comes home after lunch, I notice,&rdquo; laughed Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I became angry.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you mean that Miss Hudson&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is an incorrigible flirt? Yes,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Shafthead, you go too far!&rdquo; I cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear monsieur, I withdraw and I apologize,&rdquo; he answers, with his most

-      disarming smile. &ldquo;Have it as you wish. Only&mdash;don't let her make a

-      fool of you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He turned and walked out of the room whistling, and I was left to digest

-      this dark thought.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Certainly it was true that I did not see much of her in the afternoons,

-      but then, I argued, she had doubtless household duties. Her mother was an

-      affected woman who loved posing as an invalid and had stayed in her room

-      ever since the ball. Therefore she had to entertain the guests; and, now I

-      came to think of it, Lumme would naturally press his suit whenever he saw

-      a chance, and how could she protect herself? Certainly she could never

-      compare that ridiculous little man with&mdash;well, with any one you

-      please. It was absurd! I laughed at the thought. Yet I became particularly

-      anxious to see her again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0055" id="linkimage-0055"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0150.jpg" alt="0150m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0150.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      In the evening she came for a few minutes to cheer my solitude. She could

-      not stay; yet she sat down. I must be very sensible; yet she listened to

-      my compliments with a smile. She was ravishing in her simple dress of

-      white, that cost, I should like to wager, some fabulous price in Paris;

-      she was charming; she was kind. Yes, she had been created to be a

-      temptation to man, like the diamonds in her hair; and she perfectly

-      understood her mission. Inevitably man must wish to play with her, to

-      caress her, to have her all to himself; and inevitably he must get into

-      that state when he is willing to pay any price for this possession. And

-      she was willing to make him&mdash;and not unwilling to make another pay

-      also. Indeed, I do not think she could conceivably have had too many

-      admirers.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But I did not criticise her thus philosophically that evening. Instead, I

-      said to her:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I was afraid I should not see you till to-morrow&mdash;and perhaps not

-      to-morrow.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not to-morrow?&rdquo; she asked. &ldquo;Are you going away, after all?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall be here; but you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I suppose I must visit my patient.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But if Mr. Lumme does not go hunting&mdash;will you then have time to

-      spare?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She rose and said, as if offended, &ldquo;I don't think you want to see me very

-      much.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet she did not go. On the contrary, she stood so close to me that I was

-      able to seize her hand and draw her towards me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, no!&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;Give me my turn!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your turn?&rdquo; she asked, drawing away a little.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes; what can I hope for but a brief turn? I am but one of your admirers,

-      and if you are kind to all&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I paused. She gave me a bright glance, a little smile that drove away all

-      prudence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Amy!&rdquo; I cried; &ldquo;I have something to give you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And I gave her&mdash;a kiss.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She protested, but not very stoutly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0056" id="linkimage-0056"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0152.jpg" alt="0152m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0152.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have something else,&rdquo; I said. And I was about to present her with a

-      very similar offering&mdash;indeed, I was almost in the act of

-      presentation, when she started from me with a cry of, &ldquo;Let me go!&rdquo; and

-      before I could detain her she had fled from the room. In her flight she

-      passed a man who was standing at the door, and it was he who spoke next.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You damned, scoundrelly frog-eater!&rdquo; he remarked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was the voice of my rival, Lumme!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, monsieur!&rdquo; I exclaimed, springing up. &ldquo;You have come to act the spy,

-      I see.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I haven't,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I came for Miss Hudson&mdash;and I came just in

-      time, too!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;not just; half a minute after.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You dirty, sneaky, French beast!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;I bring you to a decent

-      house&mdash;the first you've ever been to&mdash;and you go shamming * sick

-      to get a chance of insulting a virtuous girl!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Shamming!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Insulting! What words are these?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you mean to say you aren't shamming? You can walk as well as me!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-<pre xml:space="preserve">

-     * It is a legend among the English that we subsist

-     principally upon frogs.&mdash;-D'H.

-</pre>

-    <p>

-      Unquestionably I was more recovered than I had admitted to myself while

-      convalescence was so pleasant, and now I had risen from my couch I

-      discovered, to my surprise, that there seemed little the matter with me.

-      That, however, could not excuse the imputation. Besides, I had been

-      addressed by several epithets, each one of which conveyed an insult.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You vile, low, little English pig!&rdquo; I replied; &ldquo;you know the consequences

-      of your language, I suppose?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm glad to see it makes you sit up,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I advanced a step and struck him on the face, and then, seeing that he was

-      about to assault me with his fists, I laid him on the floor with a

-      well-directed kick on the chest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Now,&rdquo; I said, as he rose, &ldquo;will you fight, or are you afraid?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fight?&rdquo; he screamed. &ldquo;Yes; if you'll fight fair, you kicking froggy!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As to the weapons,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I am willing to leave that question in

-      the hands of our seconds&mdash;swords or pistols&mdash;it is all the same

-      to me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He looked for a moment a little taken aback by my readiness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I smiled, &ldquo;you do not enjoy the prospect very much?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you think I'm going to funk you with any dashed weapons, you are

-      mistaken,&rdquo; said Teddy, hotly. &ldquo;We don't fight like that in England, but I

-      won't stand upon that. My second is Dick Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I shall request Mr. Tonks to act for me,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;The sooner the

-      better, I presume?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To-morrow morning will suit me,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;I shall now send a note by my servant to Mr.

-      Tonks.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I bowed with scrupulous politeness, and he, with an endeavor to imitate

-      this courtesy, withdrew.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then I rang for Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0057" id="linkimage-0057"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0015" id="link2HCH0015"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>An animal I should define as a man who fights in a sensible way for a

-      reasonable end.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0058" id="linkimage-0058"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9156.jpg" alt="9156 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9156.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      XTRACT from my journal at this time:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Wednesday Night.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All is arranged. Tonks and Shafthead have endeavored to dissuade us, but

-      words have passed that cannot be overlooked, and Lumme is as resolute to

-      fight as I. I must do him that credit. At last, seeing that we are

-      determined, they have consented to act if we will leave all arrangements

-      in their hands. We are both of us willing, and all we know is that we meet

-      at daybreak to-morrow in a place to be selected by our seconds. Even the

-      weapons have not yet been decided. Should I fall and this writing pass

-      into the hands of others, I wish them to know that these two gentlemen,

-      Mr. La Rabide, Shafthead and Mr. Tonks, have done their best to procure a

-      bloodless issue. In these circumstances I also wish Mr. Lumme to know

-      that I fully forgive him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My will is now made, and Halfred is remembered in it. Another, too, will

-      not find herself forgotten. My watch and chain and my signet-ring I have

-      bequeathed to Amy. Farewell, dear maiden! Do not altogether forget me!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Halfred is perturbed, poor fellow, at the chance of losing a master whom,

-      I think, he has already learned to venerate. Yet he has a fine spirit, and

-      it is his chief regret that the etiquette of the duel will not permit him

-      to be a spectator.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Aim at 'is wind, sir,' he advised me. 'That oughter double 'im up if you

-      gets 'im fair. And perhaps, sir, if you was to give 'im the second barrel

-      somewhere about the point of 'is jaw, sir, things would be made more

-      certain-like.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'And what if he aims at these places himself?' I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Duck, sir, the minute you see 'im a-pulling of his trigger&mdash;like

-      this, sir.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He showed me how to 'duck' scientifically, and I gravely thanked him. I

-      had not the heart to tell how different are the fatal circumstances of the

-      duel, his devotion touched me so. I have told him to lay out my best dark

-      suit, a white shirt, my patent-leather boots, and a black tie that will

-      not make a mark for the bullet. He is engaged at present in packing the

-      rest of my things, for, whatever the issue, I cannot stay longer here.

-      Farewell again. Amy! Now I shall write to my friends in France, and warn

-      them of the possibilities that may arise. Then to bed!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I have given this extract at length, that it may be seen how grave we all

-      considered the situation, and also to disprove the common idea that

-      Englishmen do not regard the duel seriously. They are, however, a nation

-      of sportsmen, whose warfare is waged against the &ldquo;furs and feathers.&rdquo; and

-      the refinements of single combat practised elsewhere are little

-      appreciated, as will presently appear.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was scarcely yet daylight when I left my room, and with a little

-      difficulty made my way along dim corridors and down shadowy stairs to the

-      garden door, by which it had been decided we could most stealthily escape

-      to the rendezvous. Through the trimmed evergreens and the paths where the

-      leaf-fall of the night still lay unswept I picked my course upon a quiet

-      foot that left plain traces in the dew, but made no sound to rouse the

-      sleeping house. A wicket-gate led me out into the park, and there I

-      followed a path towards an oak paling that formed the boundary along that

-      side. At the end of this path a gate in the paling took me into a narrow

-      lane, and this gate was to be our rendezvous.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As I advanced, I saw between the trees a solitary figure leaning against

-      the paling, and I was assured that my adversary at least had not failed

-      me. Looking back, I next caught sight of the seconds following me, and I

-      delayed my steps so that I only reached Lumme a minute or so before them.

-      We raised our hats and bowed in silence. He looked pale, but I could not

-      deny that his expression was full of spirit, and I felt for him that

-      respect which a brave man always inspires in one of my martial race.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      His costume I certainly took exception to, for, instead of the decorous

-      garments called for by the occasion, he was attired in a light check suit,

-      with leather leggings and a pale-blue waistcoat, and, indeed, rather

-      suggested a morning's sport than the business we had come upon. This,

-      however, might be set down to his inexperience, and, as a matter of fact,

-      he was outdone by our seconds, for, in addition to wearing somewhat

-      similar clothes, they each carried a gun and a cartridge-bag. Evidently, I

-      thought, they had brought these to disarm suspicion in case the party were

-      observed. Their demeanor was beyond reproach, and, indeed, surprising,

-      considering that they had never before acted either as principals or

-      seconds. They raised their hats and bowed with formality.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good-morning, gentlemen,&rdquo; said Shafthead.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He took the lead throughout, my second, Tonks, concurring in everything he

-      said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You still wish to fight?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Lumme and I both bowed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You both refuse to settle your differences amicably?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I refuse,&rdquo; replied Lumme.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I, certainly,&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;it only remains to assure you that the loser will

-      be decently interred.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Here both he and Tonks were obviously affected by a very natural emotion;

-      with a distinct effort he cleared his throat and resumed:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And to tell you the conditions of the combat. Here are the weapons.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Conceive our astonishment when we were each solemnly handed a

-      double-barrelled shot-gun and a bagful of No. 5 cartridges! Even Lumme

-      recognized the unsuitability of these firearms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say, hang it!&rdquo; he exclaimed; &ldquo;I'm not going to fight with these!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tonks, I protest!&rdquo; I said, warmly. &ldquo;This is absurd.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Only things you're going to get,&rdquo; replied Tonks, stolidly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Gentlemen,&rdquo; said Shafthead, with more courtesy, &ldquo;you have agreed to fight

-      in any method we decide. If you back out now we can only suppose that you

-      are afraid of getting hurt&mdash;and in that case why do you fight at

-      all?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All right, then,&rdquo; replied Lumme, with an <i>élan</i> I must give him

-      every credit for; &ldquo;I'm game.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I am in your hands,&rdquo; said I, with a shrug that was intended to

-      protest, not against the danger, but the absurdity of the weapons. &ldquo;At

-      what distance do we stand?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In that matter we propose to introduce another novelty&rdquo; replied Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To make it more sporting,&rdquo; explained Tonks. &ldquo;Just so,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;You

-      see that plantation? We are going to put one of you in one end and the

-      other in the other; you have each fifty cartridges, and you can fire as

-      soon as you meet and as often as you please. One of the seconds will

-      remain at either end to welcome the survivor.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, that's not a bad idea,&rdquo; said Lumme, brightening up.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I had my own opinion on this unheard-of innovation, but I kept it to

-      myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Now you toss for ends,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;Call.&rdquo; He spun a shilling, and Lumme

-      called &ldquo;Heads.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Heads it is,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;Which end?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It doesn't make much difference, I suppose,&rdquo; replied Teddy. &ldquo;I'll start

-      from this end.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Right you are,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Au revoir, monsieur. When you are ready to

-      enter the wood fire a cartridge to let us know. Here is an extra one I

-      have left for signalling.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I bowed and followed my second across the lane and through a narrow gate

-      in a high hedge that bounded the side farthest from the park. Lumme was

-      left with Shafthead in the lane to make his way to the nearest end of the

-      wood, so that I should see no more of him till we met gun to shoulder in

-      the thickets. I confess that at that moment I could think only of our past

-      friendship and his genial virtues, and it was with a great effort that I

-      forced myself to recall his insults and harden my heart.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We now walked down a long field shut in by trees on either hand. At the

-      farther end from the lane these plantations almost met, so that they and

-      the hedge enclosed the field all the way round except for one narrow gap.

-      Here Tonks stopped and turned.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You enter here,&rdquo; he said, indicating the wood on the right-hand side of

-      this gap, &ldquo;and you work your way back till you meet him. By-the-way, if

-      you happen to hear shots anywhere else pay no attention. The keeper often

-      comes out after rabbits in the early morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But if he hears us?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, we've made that right He knows we are out shooting. Good luck.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I would at least have clasped the hand of possibly the last man I should

-      ever talk with. I should have left some message, said something; but with

-      the phlegmatic coolness of his nation he had turned away before I had time

-      to reply. For a moment I watched him strolling nonchalantly from me with

-      his hands in his pockets, and then I fired my gun in the air and stepped

-      into the trees.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, it might be an unorthodox method of duelling, but there could be no

-      questioning the element of hazard and excitement. Here was I at one end of

-      a narrow belt of trees, not thirty yards wide and nearly a quarter of a

-      mile in length, and from the other came a man seeking my life. Every

-      moment must bring us nearer together, till before long each thicket, each

-      tree-stem, might conceal the muzzle of his gun. And the trees and

-      undergrowth were dense enough to afford shelter to a whole company.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Three plans only were possible. First, I might remain where I was and

-      trust to catching him unnerved, and perhaps careless, at the end of a long

-      and fruitless search. But this I dismissed at once as unworthy of a man of

-      spirit, and, indeed, impossible for my temperament. Secondly, I might

-      advance at an even pace and probably meet him about the middle. This also

-      I dismissed as being the procedure he would naturally expect me to adopt.

-      Finally, I might advance with alacrity and encounter him before I was

-      expected. And this was the scheme I adopted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At a good pace I pushed my way through the branches and the thorns,

-      wishing now, I must confess, that I had adopted a costume more suitable

-      for this kind of warfare, till I had turned the corner of the field and

-      advanced for a little distance up the long side. While I was walking down

-      with Tonks I had taken the precaution of noting a particularly large pine

-      which seemed as nearly as possible the half-way mark, but now a

-      disconcerting reflection struck me. That pine was, indeed, half-way down

-      the side of the field, but I had also had half of the end to traverse, so

-      that the point at which we should meet, going at a similar pace, would be

-      considerably nearer than I had calculated. Supposing, then, that Lumme was

-      also hastening to meet me, he might even now be close at hand! I crouched

-      behind a thorn-bush and listened.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was a still, delightful morning; the sun just risen; the air fresh; no

-      motion in the branches. Every little sound could be distinctly heard, and

-      presently I heard one; a something moving in another thicket not ten paces

-      away. I raised my gun, aimed carefully, and pulled the trigger.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The stealthy sound ceased, and instead a pheasant flew screaming out of

-      the wood. No longer could there be any doubt of my position. I executed a

-      strategic retreat for a short distance to upset my enemy's calculations

-      and waited for his approach. But I heard nothing except two or three shots

-      from the plantation across the field, where the keeper had evidently begun

-      his shooting. I advanced again, though more cautiously, but in a very

-      short time was brought to a sudden stand-still by a movement in a branch

-      overhead. The diabolical thought flashed through my mind, &ldquo;He is aiming at

-      me from a tree!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Instantly I raised my gun and discharged both barrels into the leaves.

-      There came down, not Lumme, but a squirrel; yet the incident inspired me

-      with an idea. I chose a suitable tree, and, having scrambled up with some

-      difficulty (which was not lessened by the thought that I might be shot in

-      the act), I waited for my rival to pass below.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0059" id="linkimage-0059"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0166.jpg" alt="0166m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0166.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Five minutes passed&mdash;ten&mdash;fifteen. I heard more shots from the

-      keeper's gun. I slew two foxes and a pheasant which were ill-advised

-      enough to make a suspicious stir in the undergrowth; but not a sign of

-      Lumme. I had not even heard him fire one shot since the duel began. Some

-      mystery here, evidently. Perhaps he was waiting patiently for me to

-      approach within a few paces of the lane whence he started. And I&mdash;should

-      I court his cartridges by falling into a trap I had thought of laying

-      myself?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet one of us must move, or we should be the laughing-stock of the

-      country-side, and if one of two must attack, the brave man can be in no

-      doubt as to which that is. I descended, and with infinite precautions

-      slowly pushed my way forward, raking with my shot every bush that might

-      conceal a foe. Suddenly between the trees I saw a man&mdash;undoubtedly a

-      man this time. I put my hand in my cartridge-bag. One cartridge remaining,

-      besides two in my chambers; three cartridges against a man who had still

-      left fifty! Yet three would be sufficient if I could but get them home.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Carefully I crept on my hands and knees to within a dozen paces; then I

-      raised my head, and behold! it was Tonks I saw standing in the lane

-      leaning against the paling of the park! But Lumme? Ah, I had it. He had

-      fled!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Shouldering my gun, I stepped out of the wood.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hillo!&rdquo; cried Tonks. &ldquo;Bagged him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Been hit?&rdquo; he asked. &ldquo;You look in rather a mess.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And indeed I did, for my clothes had been rent by the thorns, my face and

-      my hands torn, and doubtless I showed also some mental signs of the ordeal

-      I had been through. For remember that though I had not met an adversary, I

-      had braved the risk of it at every step. And I had made those steps.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I have not even been fired at.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I heard a regular cannonade,&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Forty-seven times have I fired at a venture,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;And I have not

-      been inaccurate in my aim. In that wood you will find the bodies of four

-      squirrels, five pheasants, and two foxes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But where is Lumme?&rdquo; he inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fled,&rdquo; I replied, with an intonation of contempt I could not conceal.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What! funked it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I saw no sign of him.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By Jove! that's bad,&rdquo; said Tonks, though in so matter-of-course a tone

-      that I was astonished. A man of a sluggish spirit, I fear, was my

-      cricketing second.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let us call Shafthead,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;For myself, my honor is satisfied, and I

-      shall leave him and you to deal with the runaway.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We walked together along the lane till we came to the gate in the hedge

-      through which we had started for the wood. Through this we could see right

-      down the field, and there, coming towards us, walked Shafthead and Lumme.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The devil!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By Jove!&rdquo; said Tonks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Can you explain this?&rdquo; I asked him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I? No; unless you passed each other.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Passed!&rdquo; I cried, scornfully.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I threw the gate open and advanced to meet them. To my surprise, Lumme

-      looked at me with no sign of shame, but rather with indignation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he cried to me, &ldquo;you're a fine man to fight a duel. Been in a

-      ditch?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Poltroon!&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Where did you hide yourself?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I hide?&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Where have you been hiding?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you mean to tell me that you men never met?&rdquo; asked Shafthead.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Never!&rdquo; we cried together.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tonks,&rdquo; said he, &ldquo;into which plantation did you put your man?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The right-hand one,&rdquo; said Tonks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The right!&rdquo; exclaimed Dick. &ldquo;Then you have been in different woods! Oh,

-      Tonks, this is scandalous!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But my second had already turned his head away, and seemed so bowed by

-      contrition that my natural anger somewhat relented.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly your own directions were not clear,&rdquo; I suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;I see how it was! He must have turned round, and that

-      made his right hand his left.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Lumme, &ldquo;you've made a nice mess of it. What's to be done

-      now?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0060" id="linkimage-0060"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0169.jpg" alt="0169m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0169.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am in my second's hands,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I think you've fought enough,&rdquo; said Tonks. &ldquo;How many cartridges did

-      you fire, Lumme?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thirty-two,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, hang it, you've loosed seventy-nine cartridges between you, and

-      that's more than any other duellists I ever heard of. Let's pull up the

-      sticks * and come in to breakfast.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-<pre xml:space="preserve">

-     * &ldquo;Pull up sticks&rdquo;&mdash;a football metaphor.&mdash;D'H.

-</pre>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is honor satisfied?&rdquo; asked Dick, who had more appreciation of the

-      delicacies of such a sentiment than my prosaic second.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Lumme and I glanced at each other, and we remembered now our past

-      intimacy; also, perhaps, the strain of that fruitless search for each

-      other among those thorny woods.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mine is,&rdquo; said Lumme.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mine also,&rdquo; said I.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And thus ended what so nearly was a fatal encounter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0061" id="linkimage-0061"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0016" id="link2HCH0016"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XVI

-    </h2>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      &ldquo;Heed my words! Beware of women,

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      Shallowest when overbrimming

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      Deepest when they wish you well!

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      Tears and trifles, lace and laughter,

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      The Deuce alone knows what they're after&mdash;

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      And he's too much involved to tell.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p class="indent30">

-      &mdash;Anon.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0062" id="linkimage-0062"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9171.jpg" alt="9171 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9171.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      E all walked back from the field of battle in a highly amicable frame of

-      mind. Going across the park, Lumme and I fell a little behind our seconds

-      and conversed with the friendliness of two men who have learned to respect

-      each other. We had cordially shaken hands, we laughed, we even jested

-      about the hazards we had escaped&mdash;one would think that no more

-      complete understanding could be desired. Yet there was still a little

-      thorn pricking us both, a thorn that did not come from the woods in which

-      we had waged battle, but lived in the peaceful house before us. Our talk

-      flagged; we were silent. Then Teddy abruptly remarked:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say, I don't want to rake up by-gones and that sort of thing, don't you

-      know, but&mdash;er&mdash;you mustn't try to kiss her again, d'Haricot.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Try?&rdquo; I replied, a little nettled at this aspersion on my abilities. &ldquo;Why

-      not say, 'You must not kiss her again'?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By Jove! did you?&rdquo; cried Teddy, stopping.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I shrugged my shoulders.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear Lumme, the successful man is he who lies about himself and holds

-      his tongue about women.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Be hanged!&rdquo; he exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, why not be?&rdquo; I inquired, placidly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't believe it,&rdquo; he asserted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Continue a sceptic,&rdquo; I counselled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She told me she had never kissed any one else,&rdquo; he blurted out.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was now my turn to start.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Except whom?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Me&mdash;if you must know,&rdquo; said Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You kissed her?&rdquo; I cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, it doesn't matter to you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Nor does it matter to you that I did,&rdquo; I retorted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But did you?&rdquo; he asked, with such a painful look of inquiry that my

-      indignation melted into humor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;I see it all now. She has deceived us both!

-      We are in the same ship, as you would say; two of those fools that women

-      make to pass a wet afternoon.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You mean that she has been flirting with me?&rdquo; he asked, with a woe-begone

-      countenance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Also with me,&rdquo; I answered, cheerfully. For a false woman, like spilled

-      cream, is not a matter worth lament.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall ask her,&rdquo; he said, after a minute or two.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you ever known a woman before?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I've known dozens of 'em,&rdquo; he replied, with some indignation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And yet you propose to ask one whether she has been true to you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why shouldn't I?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Because, my friend, you will receive such an answer as a minister gives

-      to a deputation.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But they might both tell the truth.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Neither ever lies,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Diplomacy and Eve were invented to

-      obviate the necessity'.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This aphorism appeared to give him some food for reflection&mdash;or

-      possibly he was merely silenced by a British disgust for anything that was

-      not the roast beef of conversation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We had come among the terraces and the trim yews and hollies of the

-      garden. The long west wing of Seneschal Court with the high tower above it

-      were close before us. Suddenly he stopped behind the shelter of a pruned

-      and castellated hedge, and, with the air of a lost traveller seeking for

-      guidance, asked me, &ldquo;I say, what are you going to do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Return to London this morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0063" id="linkimage-0063"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0174.jpg" alt="0174m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0174.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;For the same reason that I leave the table when dinner is over.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You won't see her again?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;See her? Yes, as I should see the remains of my meal were I to pass

-      through the diningroom. But I shall not sit down again.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I do not think Teddy quite appreciated this metaphor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't you think she is&mdash;&rdquo; he began, but had some difficulty in

-      finding a word.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well served?&rdquo; I suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Digestible, then? No, my friend. I do not think she is very digestible

-      either for you or for me. We get pains inside and little nourishment.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I like her awfully,&rdquo; said poor Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who would not?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;If a girl is beautiful, charming, not too

-      chary of her favors, and yet not inartistically lavish; if she knows how

-      to let a smile spring gently from an artless dimple, how to aim a bright

-      eye and shake a light curl; and if she is not too fully occupied with

-      others to spare one an hour or two of these charms, who would not like

-      her? Personally, I should adore her&mdash;while it lasted.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you really think she isn't all she seems?&rdquo; he asked, in a doleful

-      voice.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On the contrary, I think she is more; considerably more. My dear Lumme, I

-      have studied this girl dispassionately, critically, as I would a work of

-      art offered me for sale, and I pronounce my opinion in three words&mdash;she

-      is false! I counsel you, my friend, to leave with me this morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I should advise you to take this <i>gentleman's</i> advice,&rdquo;

-       exclaimed a voice behind us, in a tone that I cannot call friendly. We

-      turned, possibly with more precipitation than dignity, to see Miss Amy

-      herself within five paces of us. Evidently she had just appeared round

-      the edge of the castellated hedge, though how long she had been standing

-      on the other side I cannot pretend to guess. Long enough, at any rate, to

-      give her a very flushed face and an eye that sparkled more brightly than

-      ever. Indeed, I never saw her to more advantage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How dare you!&rdquo; she cried, tears threatening in her voice; &ldquo;how <i>dare</i>

-      you&mdash;talk of me so!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle&mdash;&rdquo; I began, with conciliatory humility.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't speak to me!&rdquo; she interrupted, and turned her brown eyes to Lumme.

-      Undoubted tears glistened in them now.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;So you have been listening to this&mdash;this <i>person's</i> slanders?

-      And you are going away now because you have learned that I am false? I

-      have been offered for sale like a work of art! He has studied me

-      dispassionately!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Here she gave me a look whose wrathful significance I will leave you to

-      imagine.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Go! Go with him! You may be sure that <i>I</i> sha'n't ask either of you

-      to stay!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Never had two men a better case against a woman, and never. I am sure,

-      have two men taken less advantage of it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Miss Hudson; I say&mdash;&rdquo; began poor Teddy, in the tone rather of the

-      condemned murderer than the inexorable judge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't answer me!&rdquo; she cried, and turned the eyes back to me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The tears still glistened, but anger shone through them.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As for you&mdash;You&mdash;you&mdash;<i>brute!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon me,&rdquo; I replied, in a reasonable tone, &ldquo;the conversation you

-      overheard was intended for another.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she exclaimed, &ldquo;while you are trying to force your odious

-      attentions on me, you are attacking me all the time behind my back.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Behind a hedge,&rdquo; I corrected, as pleasantly as possible.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But this did not appear to mollify her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You think every woman you meet is in love with you, I suppose,&rdquo; she

-      sneered. &ldquo;Well, you may be interested to know that we all think you simply

-      a ridiculous little Frenchman.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0064" id="linkimage-0064"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0178.jpg" alt="0178m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0178.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Little!&rdquo; I exclaimed, justly incensed at this unprovoked and untrue

-      attack. &ldquo;What do you then call my friend?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For Lumme was considerably smaller than I, and might indeed have been

-      termed short.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He knows what I think of him,&rdquo; she answered; and with this ambiguous

-      remark (accompanied by an equally ambiguous flash of her brown eyes at

-      Teddy), she turned scornfully and hurried to the house.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment we stood silent, looking somewhat foolishly at each other.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You've done it now,&rdquo; said Teddy, at length.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; I replied, my equanimity returning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I suppose I'll have to clear out too. Hang it, you needn't have got me

-      into a mess like this,&rdquo; said he, in an injured tone.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Better a mess than a snare,&rdquo; I retorted. &ldquo;Let us look up a good train,

-      eat some breakfast, and shake the dust of this house from our feet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He made no answer, and when we got to the house he tacitly agreed to

-      accompany Shafthead and myself by the 11.25 train.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My things were packed. Halfred and a footman were even piling them on the

-      carriage, and I was making my adieux, when I observed this dismissed

-      suitor enter the hall with his customary cheerful air and no sign of

-      departure about him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you ready? I asked him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They've asked me to stay till to-morrow,&rdquo; he replied, with a conscious

-      look he could not conceal, &ldquo;and&mdash;er&mdash;well, there's really no

-      necessity for going to-day. Good-bye&mdash;see you soon in town.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good-bye,&rdquo; said Amy, sweetly, but with a look in her eyes that belied her

-      voice. &ldquo;I am so glad we have been able to persuade <i>one</i> of you to

-      stay a little longer.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Better a little fish than an empty dish,&rdquo; I said to myself, and revolving

-      this useful maxim in my mind I departed from Seneschal Court.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0065" id="linkimage-0065"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0179.jpg" alt="0179m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0179.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0066" id="linkimage-0066"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0017" id="link2HCH0017"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XVII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>I tell thee in thine ear, he is a man 'Tis wiser thou shoutdst drink

-      with than affront!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Ben Verulam.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0067" id="linkimage-0067"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9180.jpg" alt="9180 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9180.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      UT what is in it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't know, sir,&rdquo; said Mr. Titch. I had just got back to my rooms and

-      stood facing a gigantic packing-case that had appeared in my absence. It

-      was labelled, &ldquo;For Mr. Balfour, care of M. d'Haricot. Not to be opened.&rdquo;

-       Not another word of explanation, not a letter, not a message, nothing to

-      throw light on the mystery. The three Titches and Halfred stood beside me

-      also gazing at this strange offering.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Could it be fruit, sir?&rdquo; suggested Mrs. Titch, in her foolishly wise

-      fashion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fruit!&rdquo; said Aramatilda, scornfully. &ldquo;It must weigh near on a ton.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You 'aven't ordered any furniture inadvertently, as it were, sir?&rdquo; asked

-      Halfred, scratching his head, sagely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If anybody has ordered this it is evidently Mr. Balfour,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is Mr. Balfour, sir?&rdquo; said Aramatilda.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you know?&rdquo; I asked Mr. Titch.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My landlord looked solemn, as he always did when speaking of the great.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;There is the Right Honorable Arthur Balfour, nephew to the Marquis&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, yes,&rdquo; I interrupted; &ldquo;but I do not think that admirable statesman

-      would confide his purchases to me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then, sir,&rdquo; said Mr. Titch, with an air of washing his hands of all

-      lesser personages, &ldquo;I give it up.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I wish you could,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;but I fear it must remain here for the

-      present.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      They left my room casting lingering glances at the monstrosity, and once I

-      was alone my curiosity quickly died away. I felt lonely and depressed.

-      Parting from a houseful of guests and the cheerful air of a country-house,

-      I realized how foreign, after all, this city was to me. I had

-      acquaintances; I could find my way through the streets; but what else? Ah,

-      if I were in Paris now! That name spelled Heaven as I said it over and

-      over to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I said it the oftener that I might not say &ldquo;woman.&rdquo; What mockery in that

-      word! Yet I felt that I must find relief. I opened my journal and this is

-      what I wrote:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.&mdash;Foolish friend, beware of those things

-      they call eyes, of that substance they term hair, of that abstraction

-      known as a smile, and, above all, beware of those twin lies styled lips.

-      They kiss but in the intervals of kissing others; they speak but to

-      deceive. Nevermore shall I regard a woman more seriously than I do this

-      pretty, revolving ring of cigarette smoke.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am twenty-five, and romance is over. Follow thou my counsel and my

-      example.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Outside it rained&mdash;hard, continuously, without room for a hope of

-      sunshine, as it only rains in England, I think. Perhaps I may be unjust,

-      but certainly never before have I been so wet through to the soul. I threw

-      down my pen, I went to the piano, and I began to play &ldquo;L'Air Bassinette&rdquo;

-       of Verdi. Gently at first I played, and then more loudly and yet more

-      loudly. So carried away was I that I began to sing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Now at last the rain is inaudible; my heart is growing light again, when

-      above my melody I hear a most determined knocking on the door. Before I

-      have time to rise, it opens, and there enters&mdash;my neighbor, the old

-      General. Is it that he loves music so much? No, I scarcely think so. His

-      face is not that of the ravished dolphin; on the contrary, his eyes are

-      bright with an emotion that is not pleasure, his face is brilliant with a

-      choleric flush. I turn and face him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pray do not stop your pandemonium on my account,&rdquo; he says, with sarcastic

-      politeness. &ldquo;I have endured it for half an hour, and I now purpose to

-      leave this house and not return till you are exhausted, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am obliged to you for your permission,&rdquo; I reply, with equal politeness,

-      &ldquo;and I shall now endeavor to win my bet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your bet, sir?&rdquo; he inquires, with scarcely stifled indignation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have made a bet that I shall play and sing for thirty-six consecutive

-      hours,&rdquo; I explain.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then, sir, I shall interdict you, as sure as there is law in England!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you now explained the object of this visit?&rdquo; I inquire.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir, I have not. I came in here to request you to make yourself

-      personally known to your disreputable confederates in order that they may

-      not mistake <i>me</i> for a damned Bulgarian anarchist&mdash;or whatever

-      your country and profession happen to be.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I ask <i>you</i> to explain this courteous yet ambiguous demand?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Certainly, sir; and I trust you may see fit to put an end to the

-      nuisance. Two days ago I was accosted as I was leaving this house&mdash;leaving

-      the door of my own house, sir, I would have you remark! A dashed

-      half-hanged scoundrel came up to me and had the impudence to tell me he

-      wanted to speak to me. 'Well,' I said, &ldquo;what is your business, sir?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'My name is Hankey,' said he.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hankey!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir, Hankey. You know him, then?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By name only.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then, sir, I had the advantage over you,&rdquo; said the General, irately. &ldquo;I

-      didn't know the scoundrel from Beelzebub&mdash;and I told him so. Upon

-      that, sir, he had the audacity to throw out a hint that my friends&mdash;as

-      he called his dashed gang of cut-throats&mdash;were keeping an <i>eye</i>

-      on me. I pass the hint on to you, sir, having no acquaintance myself with

-      such gentry!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And was that all that passed?&rdquo; I asked, feeling too amazed and too

-      interested to take offence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir, not all&mdash;but quite enough for my taste, I assure you. I

-      said to him, 'Sir,' I said, 'I know your dashed name and I may now tell

-      you that mine is General Sholto; that I am not the man to be humbugged

-      like this, and that I propose to introduce you to the first policeman I

-      see.' Gad, you should have seen the rogue jump! Then it seemed that he had

-      done me the honor of mistaking me for you, sir, and I must ask you to have

-      the kindness to take such steps as will enable your confederates to know

-      you when they see you, or, by George! I'll put the whole business into the

-      hands of the police!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I felt strongly tempted to let my indignant fellow-lodger adopt this

-      course, for my feelings towards the absentee tenant of Mount Olympus House

-      could not be described as cordial, and the impudence of his attempt to

-      threaten me took my breath away; but then the thought struck me, &ldquo;This man

-      is an agent&mdash;though I fear an unworthy one&mdash;of the Cause. I must

-      sink my own grievances!&rdquo; Accordingly, with a polite air, I endeavored to

-      lull my neighbor's suspicions, assuring him that it was only a tailor's

-      debt the conspiring Hankey sought from me, and that I would settle the

-      account and abate the nuisance that very afternoon.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He seemed a little mollified; to the extent, at least, that his thunder

-      became a more distant rumble.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't want to ask too many favors at once, sir,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;but I fear I

-      must also request you to remove your piano to the basement for the next

-      six-and-thirty hours. I shall not stand it, sir, I warn you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear sir,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;that was but a&mdash;how does the immortal

-      Shakespeare call it?&mdash;a countercheck quarrelsome&mdash;that was all.

-      I should not have sung at all had I known you disliked music.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Music! music!&rdquo; exclaimed my visitor, with an expressive blending of

-      contempt and indignation. Then, in a milder tone, yet with the most

-      crushing, irony, continued: &ldquo;I go to every musical piece in London&mdash;and

-      enjoy 'em sir; all of 'em. I've even sat out a concert in the Albert Hall;

-      so if I'm not musical, what the deuce am I?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is evident,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I might even appreciate your efforts, sir. Very possibly I would, very

-      possibly, supposing I heard 'em at a reasonable hour,&rdquo; said the General,

-      with magnanimity that will one day send him to heaven. &ldquo;But it is my

-      habit, sir, to take a&mdash;ah&mdash;a rest in the afternoon, and&mdash;er&mdash;er&mdash;well,

-      it's deuced disturbing.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This is but the echo of the storm among the hills. The wrath of my gallant

-      neighbor is evidently all but evaporated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A thousand apologies, sir. If you will be good enough to tell me at what

-      hours my playing is disturbing to you, I shall regulate my melody

-      accordingly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Much obliged; much obliged. I don't want to stop you altogether, don't

-      you know,&rdquo; says my visitor, and abruptly inquires, &ldquo;Professional musician,

-      I presume?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did I sound like it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Beg pardon; being a foreigner, I fancied you'd probably be&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;

-       He evidently wants to say &ldquo;a Bohemian,&rdquo; but fears to wound my feelings.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'A damned Bulgarian anarchist,'&rdquo; I suggest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He snorts, laughs, and apparently is already inclined to smile at his

-      recent heat.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm a bad-tempered old boy,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;Pardon, mossoo.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He is ashamed, I can see, that John Bull should have condescended to lose

-      his temper with a mere foreigner. This point of view is not flattering;

-      but the naïveté of the old boy amuses me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Take a seat, sir,&rdquo; I now venture to suggest, &ldquo;and allow me to offer you a

-      little whiskey and a little soda water.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He hesitates for a moment, for he has not intended that pacification

-      should go to this length; but his kindness of heart prevails. He has erred

-      and he feels he must do this penance for his lack of discretion. So he

-      says, &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; and down he sits.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And that was the beginning of my acquaintance with my martial neighbor,

-      General Sholto. In half an hour we were talking away like old friends;

-      indeed, I soon began to suspect that the old gentleman felt as pleased as

-      I did to have company on that wet afternoon.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I understand that you adorn the British army,&rdquo; I remark.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I was a soldier, sir; I was a soldier. I would be now if I'd had the luck

-      of some fellows. A superannuated fossil; that's what I am, mossoo; an old

-      wreck, no use to any one.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As he says this, he draws himself up to show that the wreck still contains

-      beans, as the English proverb expresses it, but the next moment the fire

-      dies out of his eyes and he sits meditatively, looking suddenly ten years

-      older. He did not intend me to believe his words, but to himself they have

-      a meaning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I am silent.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am one of the unemployed,&rdquo; he adds, in a minute.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I also,&rdquo; I reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I like my neighbor; I am in need of a companion; and I tell him frankly my

-      story. His sympathies are entirely with me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm happy to meet a young man who sticks up for the decencies nowadays,&rdquo;

-       he says. &ldquo;Bring back your King, sir, give him a free hand, and set us an

-      example in veneration and respect and all the rest of it. You'll make a

-      clean sweep, I suppose. Guillotine, eh? Not a bad thing if used on the

-      proper people.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I am ashamed to confess how half-hearted my own theories of restoration

-      are, compared with this out-and-out suggestion. I can but twist my

-      mustache, and, looking as truculent as possible, mutter:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, well, we shall see when the time comes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      When at last he rises to leave me, he repeats with emphasis his conviction

-      that republicanism should be trodden out under a heavy boot, and so

-      mollified is he by my tactful treatment that as we part he even invites me

-      into that carefully guarded room of his. It is not yet a specific

-      invitation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Some day soon I'll hope to see you in my own den, mossoo. Au revoir, sir;

-      happy to have met you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet I cannot help thinking that even this is a triumph of diplomacy. My

-      spirits rise; my ridiculous humors have been charmed quite away. As for

-      woman, she seems not even worth cynical comment in my journal. &ldquo;Give me

-      man!&rdquo; I say to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0068" id="linkimage-0068"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0018" id="link2HCH0018"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XVIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>A drop of water on a petal in the sunshine; that same drop down thy

-      neck in a cavern. Both are woman; thy mood and the occasion make the sole

-      difference</i>.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Cervanto Y'Alvez.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0069" id="linkimage-0069"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9190.jpg" alt="9190 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9190.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ECORD of an episode taken from my journal, and written upon the evening

-      following my first meeting with the General:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;This afternoon I decide to go to the Temple and see Dick Shafthead. We

-      shall dine together quietly, and I shall vent what is left of my humors

-      and be refreshed by his good-humored raillery. The afternoon is fading

-      into evening as I mount his stairs; the lamps are being lit; by this hour

-      he should have returned. But no; I knock and knock again, and get no

-      answer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Well,' I say to myself, 'he cannot be long. I shall wait for him

-      outside.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I descend again to wait in that quiet and soothing court, where the

-      fountain plays and the goldfish swim and the autumn leaves tremble

-      overhead. Now and then one of these drops stealthily upon the pavement;

-      the pigeons flit by, settle, fly off again; people pass occasionally; but

-      at first that is all that happens. At last there enters a woman, who does

-      not pass through, but loiters on the farther side of the fountain as

-      though she were meditating&mdash;or waiting for somebody. So far as I can

-      judge in the half-light and at a little distance, she is young, and her

-      outline is attractive; therefore I conclude she is not meditating.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She does not see me, but I should like to see more of her. I walk round

-      the fountain and come up behind her. She hears my step, turns sharply, and

-      approaches, evidently prepared to greet me. Words are on the tip of her

-      tongue, when abruptly she starts back. She does not know me, after all.

-      But quickly, before she has time to recover herself, I raise my hat and

-      say:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I cannot be mistaken. We have met at the bishop's?'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0070" id="linkimage-0070"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0192.jpg" alt="0192m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0192.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is a happy inspiration, I think, to choose so respectable a host, and

-      for a moment she is staggered. Probably she does actually know a bishop,

-      and may have met a not ill-looking gentleman somewhat resembling myself at

-      his house. In this moment I perceive that she is certainty young and very

-      far removed, indeed, from being unattractive.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To me, meeting her dark eyes for an instant, and then seeing the fair,

-      full face turn to a fair profile as she looks away in some confusion, she

-      seems beyond doubt very beautiful. A simple straw hat covers her dark coil

-      of hair and slopes arrogantly forward over a luminous and brilliant eye;

-      her nose is straight, her mouth small, suggesting decision and a little

-      petulance, her chin deep and finely moulded, her complexion delicate as a

-      rare piece of alabaster, while her figure matches these distracting

-      charms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I make these notes so full that I may the better summon her to my memory.

-      Also I note that the colors she wears are rich and bright; there is red

-      and there is dark green; and they seem to make her beauty stand out with a

-      boldness that corresponds to the dark glance of her eye. Not that she is

-      anything but most modest in her demeanor, but, ah! that eye! Its glow

-      betrays a fire deep underneath.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Her eye meets mine again, then she says:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I&mdash;I don't know you. I thought you were&mdash;I mean I don't know

-      why you spoke to me.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Evidently she does not quite know how to meet the situation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I decide that it is the duty of a gentleman to assist her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I spoke because I thought I knew you, and hoped for an instant I was

-      remembered.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'You had no business to,' she replies. Her air is haughty, but a little

-      theatrical. I mean that she does not entirely convince me of her

-      displeasure.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Mademoiselle, I offer you a thousand apologies. I see now that if I had

-      really met you before I could not possibly confuse your face with

-      another's. Doubtless I ought to have been more cautious, but as you

-      perhaps guess, I am a foreigner, and I do not understand the English

-      customs in these matters.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She receives this speech with so much complaisance that I feel emboldened

-      to continue.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I am also solitary, and meeting with a face I thought I knew seemed

-      providential. Do you grant me your pardon?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She gives a little laugh that is more than half friendly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Of course&mdash;if it was a mistake.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Such a pleasant mistake that I should like to continue in error,' I

-      reply.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But at this she draws back, and her expression changes a little. It does

-      not become altogether hostile, but it undoubtedly changes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'May I ask you a favor?' I say, quickly, and with a modest air. 'I was

-      looking for a friend and have become lost in this Temple. Can you tell me

-      where number thirty-four is?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Yes,' she replies, with a look that penetrates, and, I think, rather

-      enjoys, this simple ruse, 'it is next to number thirty-three.' And with

-      that she turns to go, so abruptly that I cannot help suspecting she also

-      desires to hide a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But observing that I, too, shall not waste more time here, I also turn,

-      and as she does not actually order me away, I walk by her side, studying

-      her afresh from the corner of my eye. She is of middle height, or perhaps

-      an inch above it; she walks with a peculiar swing that seems to say, 'I do

-      not care one damn for anybody,' and the expression of her eyes and mouth

-      bear out this sentiment.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Does she resent my conduct?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, probably she does, though my demeanor is humility itself.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'You came to enjoy the quiet of the Temple, mademoiselle?'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I was enjoying it&mdash;till I was interrupted,' she answers, still

-      smiling, though not in my direction.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I notice that she again casts her eye round the court, and I make a

-      reckless shot.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Perhaps you, too, expected to see a friend?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The eyes blaze at me for an instant.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'No, I did not,' she says abruptly, and mends her pace still further.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I noticed another lady here before you came,' I say, mendaciously and

-      with a careless air, as though I thought it most natural that two ladies

-      should rendezvous at that hour in the Temple. She gives me a quick glance,

-      which I meet unruffled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We pass through a gate and into a side street, and here, by the most evil

-      fortune, a cab was standing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Cabman,' says the lady, abruptly, 'are you engaged?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The next moment she has sprung into the cab, bade me a 'good-bye' that

-      seems compounded of annoyance and of laughter, with perhaps a touch of

-      kindness added, thrown me a swift glance of her brilliant eyes, and

-      jingled out of my sight. And I have not even learned her name.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;This exit of the fair Miss Unknown is made so suddenly that for half a

-      minute I stand with my hat in my hand still, foolishly smiling.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then I give an exclamation that might be deemed profane, rush round a

-      corner and up a street, catch a glimpse of the back of a cab disappearing

-      into the traffic of the Strand, leap into another, and bid my driver

-      pursue that hansom in front.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, I had a spirited chase while it lasted, for my quarry had a swift

-      steed, and there were many other cabs in the Strand that would have

-      confused the scent for any but the most relentless sleuth-hound. It ended

-      in Pall Mall, where I had the satisfaction of seeing the flying chariot

-      deposit a stout gentleman before a most respectable club.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I drove to my rooms with my ardor cooled and my cynicism fast returning,

-      and had almost landed at my door when a most surprising coincidence

-      occurred, so surprising that I suspect it was the contrivance of either

-      Providence or the devil. A cab left the door just as I drove up, and in it

-      sat Miss Unknown! I was too dumfounded to turn in pursuit, and, besides, I

-      was too curious to learn the reason of this visit.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By the greatest good luck the door was opened by Halfred, who in his

-      obliging way lent his services now and then when the maid was out.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Did she leave her name?' I cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Beg pardon, sir?' said Halfred, in astonishment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'I mean the lady who just called for me.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'She hasked for General Sholto, sir.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My face fell.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'The devil she did!' I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Yes, sir,' said he; 'that's the lady as visits 'im sometimes.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I whistled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Was the General at home?'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'No, sir, but she left a message as 'ow she'd call again to-morrow

-      morning.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Halfred,' I said, 'do not deliver that message. I shall see to it

-      myself.'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And so Miss Unknown is the gay General's mysterious visitor. And I caught

-      her at another rendezvous. But she denied this. Bah! I do not believe her.

-      I trust no woman.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On my mind is left a curious impression from this brief passage&mdash;an

-      impression of a beautiful wild animal, half shy, half bold, dreading the

-      cage, but not so much, I think, the chase. Yes, decidedly there was

-      something untamed in her air, in her eye, in her devil-may-care walk. For

-      myself a savage queen has few charms, especially if she have merely the

-      cannibal habit without the simplicity of attire.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yet, mon Dieu, I have but seen her once! Come, to-morrow may show her in

-      a better light. Ah, my gay dog of a General! It is unfortunate for you

-      that you were so anxious to make my acquaintance!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Here ends the entry in my journal. You shall now see with what tact and

-      acumen I pursued this entertaining intrigue.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0071" id="linkimage-0071"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0019" id="link2HCH0019"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XIX

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Introduce you to my mistress? I should as soon think of lending you my

-      umbrella!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Hercule D'Enville.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0072" id="linkimage-0072"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9198.jpg" alt="9198 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9198.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      OOD-MORNING, General. I have come to return your call.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The General stood in the door of his room, holding it half closed behind

-      him. He wore a very old shooting-coat, smeared with many curious stains.

-      Evidently he was engaged upon some unclean work, and evidently, also, he

-      would have preferred me to call at some other hour. I remembered, now,

-      Halfred's dark hints as to his occupation; but I remembered still more

-      distinctly the dark eyes of Miss Unknown, and, whether he desired my

-      company or not, I was determined to spend that morning in his room.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Morning, mossoo,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Glad to see you, but&mdash;er&mdash;I'm

-      afraid I'm rather in a mess at present.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are the better company, then, for a conspirator who is never out of

-      one,&rdquo; I replied, gayly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Still he hesitated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear General, positively I shall not permit you to treat me with such

-      ceremony,&rdquo; I insisted. &ldquo;I shall empty your ink-pot over my coat to keep

-      you company if you persist in considering me too respectable.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, who could withstand so importunate a visitor? I entered the

-      carefully guarded chamber, smiling at myself at the little dénouement that

-      was to follow, and curious in the mean time to see what kind of a den it

-      was that this amorous dragon dwelt in. The first glance solved the mystery

-      of his labors. An easel stood in one corner, a palette and brushes lay on

-      a table, a canvas rested upon the easel; in a word, my neighbor pursued

-      the arts!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He looked at me a little awkwardly as I glanced round at these things.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0073" id="linkimage-0073"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0200.jpg" alt="0200m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0200.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fact is, I dabble a bit in art,&rdquo; he explained. &ldquo;I have nothing to do,

-      don't you know, and&mdash;er&mdash;I always felt drawn to the arts.

-      Amateur work&mdash;mere amateur work, as you can see for yourself, but I

-      flatter myself this ain't so bad, eh? Miss Ara&mdash;Ara&mdash;what the

-      devil's her name?&mdash;Titch. Done from memory, of course; I don't want

-      these busybodies here to know what I'm doing.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You keep your proficiency a secret, then?&rdquo; I said, gazing politely at

-      this wonderful work of memory. It was not very like nor very artistic, and

-      I wished to avoid passing any opinion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Never told a soul but you, mossoo, and&mdash;er&mdash;well, there's only

-      one other in the secret.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Again I smiled to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It must be delightful to perpetuate the faces of your lady friends,&rdquo; I

-      remarked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The old boy smiled with some complacency.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That's rather my forte, I consider,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are fortunate!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;I would that I had such an excuse for my

-      gallantries!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come now, mossoo, I'm an old boy, remember!&rdquo; he protested, though he did

-      not seem at all displeased by this innuendo.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are at the most dangerous age for a woman's peace of mind.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tuts&mdash;nonsense!&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Twenty years ago, I don't mind admitting&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I understand! And twenty years subsequent to that? Ah, General!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He laughed good-humoredly. He admitted that for his years he was certainly

-      as youthful as most men. He had become in an excellent temper both with

-      himself and his guest, when suddenly our conversation was interrupted by a

-      knocking at the door. He barely had time to open it when the dénouement

-      arrived. In other words, Miss Unknown stepped into the room. Yet at the

-      threshold she paused, for I could see that at the first glance she

-      recognized me and knew not what to make of this remarkable coincidence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As she stood there she made a picture that put into the shade anything a

-      much greater artist than the General could have painted, with her deep,

-      finely turned chin cast a little upward and her dark, glowing eyes looking

-      half arrogantly, half doubtingly, round the room. I noted again the

-      petulant, wilful expression in the small mouth and the indescribable,

-      untamed air. As before, she was dressed in bright colors, that set her off

-      as a heavy gold frame sets off a picture; only her color this time was a

-      vivid shade of purple.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She paused but for a moment, and then she evidently made up her mind to

-      treat me as a stranger, for she turned her glance indifferent to my host

-      and asked, in an off-hand tone,

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Didn't you know I was coming this morning?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I? No,&rdquo; said he, with an air as embarrassed as I could have wished.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I left a message yesterday afternoon.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I never got it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You mean you forgot it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I mean I never got it,&rdquo; he repeated, irately this time.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She made a grimace, as much as to say, &ldquo;Don't lose your temper,&rdquo; and

-      glanced again at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My niece, Miss Kerry,&rdquo; said he, hurriedly, introducing me with a jerk of

-      his hand.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      His &ldquo;niece&rdquo;! I smiled to myself at this euphonism, but bowed as

-      deferentially as if I had really believed her to be his near relation, for

-      I have always believed that the flattery of respect paves the way more

-      readily than any other.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She smiled charmingly, while I by my glance endeavored further to assure

-      her that my discretion was complete.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We exchanged a few polite words, and then she turned contemptuously to the

-      canvas.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you still at this nonsense?&rdquo; she asked, with a smile, it is true, but

-      not a very flattering one.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Still at it, Kate,&rdquo; he replied, looking highly annoyed with her tone.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Evidently this hobby of his was a sore subject between them and one which

-      did not raise him in her estimation. For a moment I was assailed by

-      compunction at having thus let her convict him in the ridiculous act.

-      &ldquo;Yet, after all, they are May and December.&rdquo; I reflected, &ldquo;and if the

-      worst comes to the worst, I can find a much more suitable friend for this

-      'niece.'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With a movement that was graceful in spite of its free and easy absence of

-      restraint, she rummaged first for and then in her pocket and produced a

-      letter which she handed to her &ldquo;uncle,&rdquo; asking, &ldquo;What is the meaning of

-      this beastly thing?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, unquestionably her language, like her carriage and her eyes, had

-      something of the savage queen.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The General read the missive with a frown and glanced in my direction

-      uncomfortably as he answered, &ldquo;It is obviously&mdash;er&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, it's by way of being a bill,&rdquo; she interrupted. &ldquo;I don't need to be

-      told that. But what am I to do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pay it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, then, I'll need&mdash;&rdquo; She stopped, glanced at me, and then, with

-      a defiantly careless laugh, said, boldly, &ldquo;I'll need an advance.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The deuce you will!&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;At this moment I can scarcely go

-      into&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't trouble,&rdquo; she interrupted. &ldquo;Just write me a check, please.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Without a word, but with a very sulky expression, the General banged open

-      a writing-desk and hastily scribbled in his check-book, while the

-      undutiful Miss Kerry turned to me as graciously as ever. But I thought I

-      had carried my plot far enough for the present. Besides, she must come

-      down-stairs, and my room was on the ground floor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I fear I must leave you, General,&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I must go, too,&rdquo; said Miss Kerry, as I turned to make my adieux to her.

-      &ldquo;Good-bye, uncle. Much obliged for this.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      It seemed to my ear that there was a laugh in that word &ldquo;uncle,&rdquo; and as I

-      saw the unfortunate warrior watch our exit with a face as purple as his

-      &ldquo;niece's&rdquo; dress, I heartily pitied the foiled Adonis. Yet if fortune chose

-      so to redistribute her gifts, was it for me to complain?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I accompany you for a short distance this time?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And a couple of minutes later I was gayly walking with her from the house,

-      prepared to hail a cab and hurry away my prize upon the first sign of

-      pursuit. No appearance, however, of a bereaved general officer running

-      hatless and distraught with jealousy behind us. Evidently he had resigned

-      himself to his fate&mdash;or did he place such reliance in the fidelity

-      and devotion of his &ldquo;niece&rdquo;? Well, we should see about that!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you remembered me?&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How do you know?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By that question. Ah, it has betrayed you! Yes, you do remember the

-      ignorant and importunate foreigner who pursued you with his unpleasing

-      attentions?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But it was a mistake, you said,&rdquo; she replied, with a flash of her eyes

-      that seemed to mean much.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A mistake, of course,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;And now let us take a cab and have some

-      lunch.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She appeared a little surprised at this bold suggestion, and recollecting

-      that an appearance of propriety is very rigorously observed in England,

-      often where one would least expect it, I modified my <i>élan</i> to a more

-      formal gallantry, and very quickly persuaded her to accompany me to the

-      most fashionable restaurant in Piccadilly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Even then, though she was generous of her smiles and those flashing

-      glances that I could well imagine kindling the gallant heart of General

-      Sholto, and though her talk was dashed with slang and marked with a

-      straightforward freedom, yet she always maintained a sufficient dignity to

-      check any too presumptuous advances. But by this time all compunction for

-      my gallant neighbor had vanished in the delights of Miss Kerry's society,

-      and I was not to be balked so easily.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To-night I wish you to do me a favor,&rdquo; I said, earnestly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes? What is it?&rdquo; she smiled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have a box at the Gaiety Theatre, and I should like a friend to dine

-      with me first, and then see the play.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As a matter of fact the box was not yet taken, but how was she to know

-      that?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I am to be the friend?&rdquo; she asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you will be so kind?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My uncle is coming, of course?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I smiled at her, and she beamed back at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We understand each other,&rdquo; I thought. &ldquo;But, my faith, how persistently

-      she keeps up this little farce!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Aloud I said:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course. Without an uncle by my side I should not even venture to turn

-      out the gas. Would you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course not!&rdquo; she replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And so it was arranged that at half-past seven we were to meet at this

-      same restaurant. In the mean time what dreams of happiness!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0074" id="linkimage-0074"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0020" id="link2HCH0020"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XX

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Virtue is our euphonism for reaction</i>.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0075" id="linkimage-0075"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9207.jpg" alt="9207 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9207.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ALF-PAST seven had just struck upon a church clock close by. Five minutes

-      passed, ten minutes, and then she appeared, more beautiful than ever&mdash;irresistible,

-      in fact.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But is this a private room?&rdquo; she asked, as she surveyed the comfortable

-      little apartment with the dinner laid for two, and the discreet waiter

-      opening the wine.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It could not be more so, I assure you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She glanced at the two places. &ldquo;Isn't my uncle coming?&rdquo; she demanded.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I was prepared for this little formality, which, it seemed, spiced the

-      adventure for her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;At the last moment he was indisposed,&rdquo; I explained, gravely; &ldquo;but he will

-      join us for dessert.&rdquo; The impossibility of gainsaying this, and the

-      attractiveness of the present circumstances&mdash;such as they were

-      without an uncle&mdash;quickly induced her to accept this untoward

-      accident with resignation, and in a few minutes we were as merry a party

-      of two as you could wish to find. Our jests began to have a more and more

-      friendly sound.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You do not care for this entrée?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is rather hot for my taste.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not so warm as my heart at this moment,&rdquo; I declared.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What nonsense you talk!&rdquo; she cried. &ldquo;It has some meaning in French,

-      though, I suppose.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet she laughed delightfully.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Much meaning,&rdquo; I assured her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;When was my uncle taken ill?&rdquo; she asked, once.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Our eyes met and we mutually smiled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;When you left his room with me,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And this answer seemed perfectly to satisfy her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you do with yourself all day?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Again she laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will only laugh,&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall be as solemn as a judge, a jury, and three expert witnesses,&rdquo; I

-      assured her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A friend and I are starting a women's mission.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I certainly became solemn&mdash;dumfounded, for one instant, in fact. Then

-      a light dawned upon me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your friend is a clergyman, I presume?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I had noticed the poster of an evening paper with the words &ldquo;Clerical

-      Scandal,&rdquo; and I suppose that put this solution into my head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My friend is a she,&rdquo; she replied, with a laugh. &ldquo;Clergyman? No, thanks!

-      We are doing it all ourselves.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ha, ha!&rdquo; I laughed. &ldquo;I see now what you mean! Excellent! Forgive my

-      stupidity.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I did not see at all, but I supposed that there must be some English idiom

-      which I did not understand. Doubtless I had lost an innuendo, but then one

-      must expect leakage somewhere. Surely I was obtaining enough and could

-      afford to lack a little.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At last we arrived at dessert.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I wonder if my uncle has come?&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have just been visited by a presentiment,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;General Sholto

-      has retired to bed. This information has been conveyed to me by a spirit&mdash;the

-      spirit of love!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She looked at me with a new expression. Ought I to have restrained my

-      ardor a little longer?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Does he know I am here?&rdquo; she asked, quickly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I assure you, on my honor, he has not the least notion!&rdquo; I declared,

-      emphatically.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then&mdash;&rdquo; she began, but words seemed to fail her. &ldquo;Good-night,&rdquo; she

-      said, dramatically, but with unmistakable emphasis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She rose and stepped towards the door with the air of a tragedy queen.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A thought, too horrible to be true, rushed into my heated brain.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Stop, one moment!&rdquo; I implored her. &ldquo;Do you mean to say that&mdash;that he

-      is <i>really</i> your uncle?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Her look of indignant consternation answered the question.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I sank into my chair, and, seeing me in this plight, she paused to

-      complete my downfall.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0076" id="linkimage-0076"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0210.jpg" alt="0210m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0210.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What did you imagine?&rdquo; she asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I endeavored to collect my wits.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who did you think I was?&rdquo; she demanded.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;behold a crushed, a penitent, a ridiculous

-      figure. I am even more ignorant of your virtuous country than I imagined.

-      Forgive me, I implore you! I shall endow your mission with fifty pounds; I

-      shall walk home barefoot; you have but to name my penance and I shall

-      undergo it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Whether it was that my contrition was so complete or for some more

-      flattering reason that I may not hint at, I cannot tell you to this day,

-      but certainly Miss Kerry proved more lenient than I had any right to

-      expect. Not that she did not give me as unpleasant a quarter of an hour as

-      I have ever tingled through. I, indeed, got &ldquo;what for,&rdquo; as the English

-      say. But before she left she had actually smiled upon me again and very

-      graciously uttered the words, &ldquo;I forgive you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As for myself, I became filled with a glow of penitence and admiration;

-      the admiration being a kind of moral atonement which I felt I owed to this

-      virtuous and beautiful girl. At that moment the seven virtues seemed

-      incarnate in her, and the seven deadly sins in myself. I was in the mood

-      to pay her some exaggerated homage; I had also consumed an entire bottle

-      of champagne, and I offered her&mdash;my services in her mission to woman!

-      I should be her secretary, I vowed. Touched by my earnestness, she at last

-      accepted my offer, and when we parted and I walked home in the moonlight,

-      I hummed an air from a splendid oratorio.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Though the hour was somewhat late when I got in, it seemed to me the

-      commonest courtesy to pay another call upon General Sholto and inquire&mdash;after

-      his health, for example. I called, I found him in, and not yet gone to bed

-      as my presentiment had advised me, and in two minutes we happened to be

-      talking about his niece.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It appeared that she was the orphan and only child of his sister, and that

-      for some years Kate and her not inconsiderable fortune had been left in

-      his charge, but from the first I fear that she had proved rather a handful

-      for the old boy to manage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A fine girl, sir; a handsome girl,&rdquo; he declared, &ldquo;but a rum 'un if ever

-      there was. I'd once thought of living together, making a home and all

-      that; but, as I said, mossoo, she's a rum girl. You noticed her temper

-      this morning? Hang it, I was ashamed of her!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where is she, then?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Living in a flat of her own with another woman. She is great on her

-      independence, mossoo. Fine spirit, no doubt, but&mdash;er&mdash;just a

-      little dull for me sometimes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She is young,&rdquo; I urged, for I seemed to see only Miss Kerry's side of the

-      argument. &ldquo;And you, General&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Am old,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Hang it, she doesn't let me forget that.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Evidently, I thought, my neighbor was feeling out of sorts, or he would

-      never show so little appreciation of his charming niece. I must take up my

-      arms on behalf of maligned virtue.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am certain she regards you with a deep though possibly not a

-      demonstrative affection,&rdquo; I declared. &ldquo;She does not know how to express

-      it; that is all. She is love inarticulate, General!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It hasn't taken you long to find that out,&rdquo; said he; but observing the

-      confusion into which, I fear, this threw me, he hastened to add, with a

-      graver air: &ldquo;Young women, mossoo, and young men too, for the matter of

-      that, have to get tired of 'emselves before they waste much affection on

-      any one else.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I protested so warmly that the General's smile became humorous again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You forget the grand passion!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Your niece is at the age of

-      love.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Possibly a young man might&mdash;er&mdash;do the trick and that kind of

-      thing,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;But I don't think Kate is very likely to fall in love

-      at present&mdash;unless it's with one of her own notions.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Her own notions?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he explained, &ldquo;the kind of man I'd back for a place would be a

-      good-looking cabby or a long-haired fiddler. She'd rig him out with a

-      soul, and so forth, to suit her fancy&mdash;and a deuce of a life they'd

-      lead!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No use in continuing this discussion with such an unsympathetic and

-      unappreciative critic. He was unworthy to be her uncle, I said to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      When I returned to my own rooms, I opened my journal and wrote this

-      striking passage:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Illusion gone, clear sight returns. I have found a woman worthy of

-      homage, of admiration, of friendship. Love (if, indeed, I ever felt that

-      sacred emotion for any) has departed to make room for a worthier tenant.

-      Reason rules my heart. I see dispassionately the virtues of Kate Kerry; I

-      regard them as the mariner regards the polar star</i>.'&rdquo;'

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I reproduce this extract for the benefit of the young, just as&mdash;to

-      pursue my original and nautical metaphor&mdash;they put buoys above a

-      dangerous wreck or mark a reef in the chart. It is on the same principle

-      as the awful example who (I am told) accompanies the Scottish temperance

-      lecturer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0077" id="linkimage-0077"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0021" id="link2HCH0021"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXI

-    </h2>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      &ldquo;<i>If you-would improve their lot</i>,

-    </p>

-    <p class="indent20">

-      <i>Put a penny in the slot!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p class="indent30">

-      <i>English Song (adapted)</i>.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /> <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0078" id="linkimage-0078"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9215.jpg" alt="9215 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9215.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ERTAINLY John Bull is a singularly sentimental animal. I have said so

-      before, but I should like to repeat it now with additional emphasis. I do

-      not believe that he ever sold his wife at Smithfield, or, if he did, he

-      became dreadfully penitent immediately after and forthwith purchased a new

-      one. He is not a socialist; that is a too horribly and coldly logical

-      creed for him, but he enjoys stepping forth from the seclusion of that

-      well-furnished castle which every Englishman is so proud of, and dutifully

-      endeavoring to ameliorate the condition of the working-classes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;England expects every man to do his duty,&rdquo; he repeats, as he puts his

-      hand into his capacious pocket and provides half a dozen mendicants with

-      the means of becoming intoxicated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Oh yes, my kind English friends, I admit that I am putting it strongly;

-      but again let me remind you (in case you ever see these words) that if I

-      begin to be quite serious I shall cease to be quite readable. The

-      working-man, I quite allow, is provided with the opportunity of learning

-      the violin and the geography of South America and the Thirty-nine Articles

-      of the Anglican Church, besides obtaining many other substantial

-      advantages from the spread of the Altruistic Idea. You are wiser than I am

-      (certainly more serious), and you have done these deeds. For my part, I

-      shall now confine myself to recording my own share in one of them. Only I

-      must beg you to remember that for a time I was actually a philanthropist

-      myself, and as a mere chronicler write with some authority.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The mission of which I now found myself unpaid and unqualified secretary

-      was a recently born but vigorous infant; considering the sex for which it

-      catered, I think this simile is both appropriate and encouraging. The

-      credit of the inspiring idea belonged to Miss Clibborn, the friend with

-      whom my dark-eyed divinity shared a flat; the funds were supplied by both

-      these ladies and from the purses of such of their friends as admired

-      inspiring ideas or intoxicating glances; the office was in an East London

-      street of so dingy an aspect that I felt some small peccadillo atoned for

-      every time I walked along its savory pavements. By the time I had spent a

-      day in that office I could with confidence have murdered a member of

-      Parliament or abducted a clergyman's wife; so much, I was sure, must have

-      been placed to the credit side of my account, that these crimes would be

-      cancelled at once.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet can I call it drudgery or penance to sit in the same room with Kate

-      Kerry, to discuss with her whether Mrs. Smith should receive a mangle or

-      Mrs. Brown a roll of flannel and two overshoes, to admonish her

-      extravagance or elicit her smiles? Scarcely, I fear, and I must base my

-      claims to any credit from this adventure upon the hours when she happened

-      to be absent and I had to amuse myself by abortive efforts to mesmerize a

-      peculiarly unsusceptible office cat.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0079" id="linkimage-0079"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0218.jpg" alt="0218m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0218.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      From this you will perhaps surmise that there was no great press of

-      business in our mission; and, indeed, there was not, or I should not have

-      been permitted to conduct its affairs so long; for I spent nearly three

-      weeks in furthering the cause of woman. As for our work, it was really too

-      comprehensive to describe in detail. All women in the district, as they

-      were informed by a notice outside our door, were free to come in. Advice

-      in all cases, assistance in some, was to be given gratuitously. In time,

-      when the mission had thoroughly established its position and influence,

-      these women were to be formed into a league having for its objects female

-      franchise, a thorough reform of the marriage laws, and the opening of all

-      professions and occupations whatsoever to the gentler but, my employers

-      were convinced, more capable sex. In a word, we were the thin end of the

-      Amazonian wedge.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The strong brain which had devised this far-reaching scheme resided in the

-      head of Miss Clibborn. Concerning her I need only tell you that she was a

-      pale little woman with an intense expression, a sad lack of humor, and an

-      extreme distrust of myself. She did not amuse me in the least, and I was

-      relieved to find that her duties consisted chiefly in propagating her

-      ideas in the homes of the women of that and other neighborhoods.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As for Kate, she had entered upon the undertaking with a high spirit, a

-      full purse, and a strong conviction that woman was a finer animal than man

-      and that something should be done in consequence. In the course of a week

-      or two, however, the spirit began to weary a little, the purse was

-      becoming decidedly more empty; and, though the conviction remained as

-      strong as ever, one can think of other things surprisingly well in spite

-      of a conviction, and Miss Kerry's thoughts began to get a little

-      distracted by her secretary, I am afraid, while his became even more

-      distracted by Miss Kerry.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Plato; that was the theme on which we spoke. A platonic friendship&mdash;magnificent

-      and original idea! We should show the astonished world what could be done

-      in that line of enterprise. How eloquently I talked to her on this

-      profound subject! On her part, she listened, she threw me more dazzling

-      smiles and captivating glances, she delivered delightfully unconsidered

-      opinions with the most dashing assurance, she smoked my cigarettes and we

-      opened the window afterwards. This was philanthropy, indeed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Do you think I was unreasonably prejudiced in this lady's favor? Picture

-      to yourself soft lashes fringing white lids that would hide for a while

-      and then suddenly reveal two dark stars glowing with possibilities of

-      romance; set these in the midst of the ebb and flow of sudden smiles and

-      passing moods; crown all this with rich coils of deep-brown hair, and

-      frame it in soft colors and textures chosen, I used to think, by some

-      sprite who wished to bring distraction among men. Then sit by the hour

-      beside this siren who treats you with the kind confidence of a friend, who

-      attracts and eludes, perplexes and delights you, suggesting by her glance

-      more than she says, recompensing by her smile for half an hour's

-      perversity. Do this before judging me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But I am now the annalist of a mission, and I must narrate one incident in

-      our work that proved to have a very momentous bearing on that generous

-      inspiration of two women's minds.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Kate and I had been talking together for the greater part of a profitable

-      morning, when a woman entered our austere apartment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She was one of our few regular applicants; a not ill-looking, plausible,

-      tidily dressed widow who confessed to thirty and probably was five years

-      older.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good-morning, Mrs. Martin,&rdquo; said Kate, with a haughty, off-hand

-      graciousness that, I fear, intimidated these poor people more than it

-      flattered them. &ldquo;What do you want?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Please, mum,&rdquo; said Mrs. Martin, glancing from one to the other of us and

-      beginning an effective little dry cough, &ldquo;my 'ealth is a-suffering

-      dreadful from this weather. The doctor 'e says nothink but a change of

-      hair won't do any good. I was that bad last night, miss, I scarcely

-      thought I'd see the morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And here the good lady stopped to cough again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Kate, &ldquo;what can we do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If I 'ad the means to get to the seaside for a week, miss, my 'ealth

-      would benefit extraordinary; the doctor 'e says Margate, sir, would set me

-      up wonderful.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You had better see the doctor, Miss Kerry,&rdquo; I suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I can't be bothered. I've seen him before; he's a stupid little fool.

-      Give her a pound.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0080" id="linkimage-0080"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0221.jpg" alt="0221m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0221.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A pound, mum&mdash;&rdquo; began Mrs. Martin, in a tone of decorous

-      expostulation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, give her three, then,&rdquo; said Kate, impatiently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Just as the grateful recipient of woman's generosity to her sex was

-      retiring with her booty, Miss Clibborn returned from her round of duty.

-      She was the business partner, with the shrewd head, the judgment

-      comparatively unbiassed, the true soul of the missionary. I give her full

-      credit for all these virtues in spite of her antipathy to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She overheard the last words of the effusive Mrs. Martin, demanded an

-      explanation from us, and frowned when she got it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You had much better have investigated the case, Kate,&rdquo; she observed, in a

-      tone of rebuke.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;So I did,&rdquo; replied Kate, with charming insolence. &ldquo;I asked her whether

-      she went to church and why she wore feathers in her hat, and if she had

-      pawned her watch&mdash;all the usual idiotic questions.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Kate,&rdquo; said her friend severely, &ldquo;this spirit is fatal to our success.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Spirit be bothered!&rdquo; retorted the more mundane partner.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ladies,&rdquo; I interposed amicably, &ldquo;I have in my overcoat pocket a box of

-      chocolate creams. Honor me by accepting them!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Not even this overture could mollify Miss Clibborn, and presently she

-      departed again with a sad glance at her lukewarm ally and frivolous

-      secretary.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, how divine Kate looked as she consumed those bonbons and our talk

-      turned back to Plato! So divine, indeed, that I felt suddenly impelled to

-      ask a question, to solve a little lingering doubt that sometimes would

-      persist in coming to poison my faith in my friend.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have been wondering,&rdquo; I said, after a pause.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Wondering what?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You remember that evening I met you in the Temple? I was wondering what

-      rendezvous you were keeping.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What a funny idea!&rdquo; she laughed. &ldquo;I took a fancy to walk in the Temple;

-      that was all.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And expected no one?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course not!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At last I was entirely satisfied, so satisfied that I felt a strong and

-      sudden desire to fervently embrace this lovely, pure-hearted creature.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But no; it would be sacrilege! I said to myself. She would never forgive

-      me. Our friendship would be at an end. The rules of Plato do not permit

-      such liberties. Alas!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0081" id="linkimage-0081"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0022" id="link2HCH0022"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>To the foolish give counsel from the head; to the wise from the heart!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Cervanto Y'ALVEZ.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0082" id="linkimage-0082"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9224.jpg" alt="9224 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9224.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      VER since I became secretary I had been as one dead to my friends. Except

-      the General, I had seen none of them. One or two, including Dick

-      Shafthead, had called upon me, only to be told that I might not return

-      until long after midnight (for I was occasionally in the habit of dining

-      with one of my employers after my labors). When I thought of Dick, my

-      conscience smote me. I intended always to write to him, and also to Lumme,

-      to explain my disappearance, but never took pen in hand. I heard nothing

-      from France, nothing about the packing-case; nor did I trouble my head

-      about this silence. The present moment was enough for me. To Halfred I had

-      only mentioned that I was busily employed in a distant part of London, and

-      I fear my servant's vivid imagination troubled him considerably, for he

-      was earnestly solicitous about my welfare.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It ain't nothing I can lend a 'and in, sir?&rdquo; he inquired one day.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am afraid not,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He hesitated, uncertain how best to express his doubts politely and

-      indicate a general warning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You'll excuse me, sir, for saying so,&rdquo; he remarked at last, &ldquo;but Mr.

-      Titch 'e says that furriners sometimes gets themselves into trouble

-      without knowing as 'ow they are doing anything wrong.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tell Mr. Titch, with my compliments, to go to the devil and mind his own

-      business,&rdquo; I replied, with, I think, pardonable wrath.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0083" id="linkimage-0083"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0225.jpg" alt="0225m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0225.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; very good, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, hastily; but I do not know that

-      his doubts were removed. However I consoled myself for my want of

-      confidence in him by thinking that he had now a fair field with

-      Aramatilda.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      On the evening of that day when we had despatched Mrs. Martin to the

-      seaside, I returned earlier than usual and sat in my easy-chair ruminating

-      on the joys and drawbacks of platonic friendship. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said to myself,

-      &ldquo;it is pleasant, it is pure&mdash;devilish pure&mdash;and it is elevating.

-      But altogether satisfactory? No, to be candid; something begins to be

-      lacking. If I had had the audacity this morning&mdash;what would she have

-      said? Despised me? Alas, no doubt! Yet, is there not something delicate,

-      ideal, out of all ordinary experience in our relations? And would I risk

-      the loss of this? Never!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this point there came a knock upon the door, and in walked my dear Dick

-      Shafthead.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Found you at last,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;Well, monsieur, give an account of

-      yourself. What have you been doing&mdash;burgling or duelling or what?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      His manner was as cool and unpretentiously friendly as ever; he was the

-      same, yet with a subtle difference I was instantly conscious of. There was

-      I know not what of kindness in his eye, of greater courtesy in his voice.

-      Somehow there seemed a more sympathetic air about him. Slight though it

-      was, this something insensibly drew forth my confidence. Naturally, I

-      should have hesitated to confess my little experiment in Plato and my

-      improbable vocation to such a satirical critic. I could picture the grim

-      smile with which he would listen, the dry comments he would make. But this

-      evening I was emboldened to make a clean breast of it, and, though his

-      smile was certainly sometimes a little more humorous than sympathetic, yet

-      he heard me with a surprising appearance of interest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then she's deuced pretty and embarrassingly proper?&rdquo; he said, when I had

-      finished the outline of my story.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Indeed, my friend, she is both.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Novel experience?&rdquo; he suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Entirely novel.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And what's to be the end of it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I shrugged my shoulders.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Going to marry her?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Marry!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have told you we are not even lovers. Dick, I

-      cannot tell you what my feeling is towards her, because I do not know it

-      myself. Yes, perhaps it is love. She has virtues; I have told you them&mdash;her

-      truth, her high spirit, her&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, yes,&rdquo; interrupted Dick, with something of his old brutality, &ldquo;you've

-      given me the list already. Let's hear her faults.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She is so full of delightful faults I know not where to begin. Perverse,

-      sometimes inconsiderate, without knowledge of herself. Divide these up

-      into the little faults they give rise to in different circumstances, and

-      you get a picture of an imperfect but charming woman.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is evident <i>you</i> don't know what falling in love means,&rdquo; said

-      Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I looked at him hard.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick actually blushed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he replied, with a smile that had a little tenderness as well as

-      humor, &ldquo;since you are a man of feeling, monsieur, and by way of being&mdash;don't

-      you know?&mdash;yourself, I might as well tell you. I've rather played the

-      fool, I expect.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He said this with an air of sincerity, but it was clear he did not think

-      himself so very stupid in the matter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;I am all ears and sympathy&mdash;also

-      intelligent advice.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And then the story came out. I shall not give it in Dick's words, for

-      these were not selected with a view to romantic effect, and the story

-      deserves better treatment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It appeared that, some twenty years before, a cousin of Lady Shafthead's

-      had taken a step which forever disgraced her in the eyes of her

-      impecunious but ancient family. She had, in fact, married the local

-      attorney, a vulgar but insinuating person with a doubtful reputation for

-      honesty and industry. The consequences bore out the warnings of her

-      family; he went from bad to worse, and she from discomfort to misery,

-      until, at last, they both died, leaving not a single penny in the world,

-      but, instead, a little orphan daughter. Of all the scandalized relations,

-      Lady Shafthead had alone come to the rescue. She had the girl educated in

-      a respectable school, and now, when she was nineteen years of age, gave

-      her a home until she could find a profession for herself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      This latter step did not meet with Sir Philip's approval. He had lent the

-      father money, and in return had had his name forged for a considerable

-      amount; besides, he did not approve of bourgeois relations. However, he

-      had reluctantly enough consented to let Miss Agnes Grey spend a few months

-      at his house on the understanding that, as soon as an occupation was

-      found, that was to be the last of the unworthy connection.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At this stage in the story&mdash;about a fortnight ago&mdash;fate and a

-      short-sighted guest put a charge of shot into the baronet's left shoulder.

-      At first it was feared the accident might be dangerous; Dick was hurriedly

-      summoned home, and there he found Miss Agnes Grey grown (so he assured me)

-      into one of the most charming girls imaginable. He had known her and been

-      fond of her, in a patronizing way, for some years. Now he saw her with

-      tears in her voice, anxious about his father, devoted to his mother, and

-      all the time feeling herself a forlorn and superfluous dependant. What

-      would any chivalrous young man, with an unattached heart, have done under

-      these circumstances? What would I have done myself? Fallen in love, of

-      course&mdash;or something like it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, Dick did not do things by halves. He fell completely in love;

-      circumstances hurried matters to an issue, and he discovered himself

-      beloved in turn. Little was said, and little was done; but quite enough to

-      enable a discerning eye to see at the first glance that something had

-      happened to Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And here he sat, with his blue eyes looking far through the walls of my

-      room, and his mouth compressed, giving his confidence not to one of his

-      oldest and most discreet friends, but to one who could share a sentiment.

-      A strange state of things for Dick Shafthead!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is an honorable passion?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What the devil&mdash;&rdquo; began Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon,&rdquo; I interposed. &ldquo;I believe you. But the world is complex, and I

-      merely asked. You are then engaged?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick frowned.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We haven't used that word,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But you intend to be?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He was silent for a little, and then, with some bitterness, said: &ldquo;My

-      earnings for the last three years average £37, 11s., 4d. I have had two

-      briefs precisely this term, and I am thirty years old. It would be an

-      excellent thing to get engaged.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But your father; he will surely help you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He will see me damned first.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then he will not approve of Miss Grey?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He will not.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Have you asked him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Again Dick was silent for a minute, and then he went on: &ldquo;Look here,

-      d'Haricot, old man, this is how it is. I know my father; he's one of the

-      best, but if I've got any prejudices I inherit them honestly. What he

-      likes he likes, and what he doesn't like he doesn't like. He doesn't like

-      Agnes, he doesn't like her family&mdash;or didn't like 'em. He doesn't

-      like younger sons marrying poor girls. On the other hand, he does like the

-      'right kind of people,' as he calls 'em, and the right sort of marriage,

-      and he does like me too well, I think, to see me doing what he doesn't

-      like. I have only a hundred a year of my own, and expectations from an

-      aunt of fifty-two who has never had a day's illness in her life. You see?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What will you do?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What can I do?&rdquo; he replied, and added, &ldquo;it is pleasant folly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      His brows were knitted, his mouth shut tight, his eyes hard. He had come

-      down to stern realities and the mood of tenderness had passed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But you really love her?&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      His face lit up for a moment. &ldquo;I do,&rdquo; he answered, and then quickly the

-      face clouded again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My friend,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I, too, have a friend&mdash;a girl, whom I place

-      before the rest of the world; I share your sentiments and I judge your

-      case for you. What is life without woman, without love? Would you place

-      your income, your prospects, the sordid aspects of your life, even the

-      displeasure of relations, before the most sacred passion of your heart?

-      Dick, if you do not say to this dear girl, 'I love you; let the devil

-      himself try to part us! I shall not think of you as the same friend.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He gave a quick glance, and in his eye I saw that my audience was with me

-      in spirit.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And my father? Tell him that too?&rdquo; he said, dryly in tone, but not

-      unmoved, I was sure.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tell him that your veneration, your homage, belongs to him, but that your

-      soul is your own! Tell him that you are not afraid to take some risk for

-      one you love! Are you afraid, Dick?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He gave a short laugh.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'd risk something,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Only something? And for Agnes Grey, Dick? Think of the future without

-      her, the life you have been leading repeated from day to day, now that you

-      have known her. Is that pleasant? Is she not worth some risk&mdash;a good

-      deal of risk?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He rose and then he smiled; and he had a very pleasant smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thanks,&rdquo; he said; &ldquo;you're a good chap, monsieur. I wish you had to tackle

-      the governor, though.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let me!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;if I want an eloquent counsel I know where to look for

-      one. Good-night.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will dare it?&rdquo; I asked, as he went towards the door.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Shouldn't be surprised,&rdquo; he answered, and with a friendly nod was gone.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I said to myself that I had done a splendid night's work. Also I began to

-      apply my principles to my own case.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0084" id="linkimage-0084"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0023" id="link2HCH0023"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Old friends for me! I then know what folly to expect.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0085" id="linkimage-0085"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9234.jpg" alt="9234 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9234.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      N the following morning Kate and I met as usual in the office of the

-      mission; and as usual she appeared three quarters of an hour after the

-      time she was nominally to be expected. She looked more ravishing than

-      ever; the art that conceals art had never more inconspicuously pervaded

-      every line and shade of her garments, every tress of her hair; her smile

-      opened up a long vista of possibilities. Again I strongly felt the

-      sentiments that had inspired me overnight; I could have closed the desk on

-      the spot and seized her hands; but I restrained myself and merely asked

-      instead what had become of her fellow-missionary. She was indisposed, it

-      appeared, and could not come to-day.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She's rather worried about our finances,&rdquo; said Kate, though not in a tone

-      that seemed to share the anxiety.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I had more than once wondered where the money was coming from and how long

-      it would last, but hitherto I had avoided this sordid aspect of the

-      crusade.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We can't go on any longer unless we get some more money,&rdquo; she added.

-      &ldquo;What with all my other expenses I can't run to much more, and Miss

-      Clibborn isn't very well off.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My own purse&mdash;&rdquo; I began.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh,&rdquo; she interrupted, &ldquo;we want a capitalist to finance us regularly, and

-      Miss Clibborn has found a man who may help if he approves of our work. He

-      is coming down this morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;We are to be inspected by a philanthropist any

-      moment?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said, with a laugh. &ldquo;So you had better get out your papers and

-      look busy.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is this benefactor?&rdquo; I inquired, as I hastily made the most of our

-      slender correspondence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I can't remember his name; but he is something in the city. Very rich, of

-      course.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And if he refuses to help?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then we must shut up shop, I suppose,&rdquo; she answered, with a smile that

-      was very charming even if somewhat inappropriate to this sad contingency.

-      &ldquo;Shall you be sorry?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Disconsolate!&rdquo; I said, with more emotion than my employer had shown.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The door opened and the head of our grimy caretaker appeared.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A gentleman to see you, miss,&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Show him in,&rdquo; said Kate.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The philanthropist!&rdquo; I exclaimed, dipping my pen in the ink and taking in

-      my other hand the gas bill.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A heavy step sounded in the passage, mingled with a strangely familiar

-      sound of puffing, and then in walked a stout, gray-whiskered, red-faced

-      gentleman whose apoplectic presence could never be forgotten by me. It was

-      my old friend, Mr. Fisher, of Chickawungaree Villa!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are&mdash;ah&mdash;Miss Kerry?&rdquo; he said, heavily, but with

-      politeness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As she held out her hand I could see even upon his stolid features

-      unmistakable evidence of surprise and admiration at meeting this

-      apparition in the dinginess of East London.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;And you, I suppose, are&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mr. Fisher&mdash;a fisher of&mdash;ha, ha!&mdash;women, it seems, down

-      here.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The old Gorgon was actually jesting with a pretty girl! As I thought of

-      him in his diningroom I could scarcely believe my senses.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And this gentleman,&rdquo; he said, turning towards me, &ldquo;is, I suppose&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He paused; his eyes had met mine, and I fear I was somewhat unsuccessfully

-      endeavoring to conceal a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fisher!&rdquo; I said, holding out my hand. &ldquo;How do you do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He did not, however, take it; yet he evidently did not know what to do

-      instead.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you know Mr. Fisher?&rdquo; said Kate.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We have met,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and we could give you some entertaining

-      reminiscences of our meeting. Could we not, Mr. Fisher?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What are you doing here?&rdquo; said Fisher, slowly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Atoning for the errors of a profligate youth,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and assisting

-      in the education and advancement of woman.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For some reason he did not appear to take this statement quite seriously.

-      In England, when you tell the truth it must be told with a solemn

-      countenance; no expression in the face, nothing but a simple yet

-      sufficient movement of the jaws, as though you were masticating a real

-      turtle. A smile, a relieving touch of lightness in your words, and you are

-      instantly set down as an irreverent jester.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Miss Kerry,&rdquo; he said, sententiously, &ldquo;I warn you against this person.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But&mdash;why?&rdquo; exclaimed the astonished Kate.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say no more. I warn you,&rdquo; said Mr. Fisher, with a dull glance at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come, now,&rdquo; I said, pleasantly, for I recollected that the mission

-      depended on this monster's good-humor, &ldquo;let us bury the pick-axe, as you

-      would say. The truth is, Miss Kerry, that Mr. Fisher and I once had a

-      merry evening together, but, unluckily, towards midnight we fell out about

-      some trifle; it matters not what; some matter of gallantry that sometimes

-      for a moment separates friends. She preferred him; but I bear no grudge.

-      That is all, is it not, Fisher?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And I gave him a surreptitious wink to indicate that he should endorse

-      this innocent version of our encounter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Unluckily, at this point Kate turned her back and began to titter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The overfed eye of Fisher moved slowly from one to the other of us.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I came down here,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;at my friend Miss Clibborn's request to&mdash;ah&mdash;satisfy

-      myself of the usefulness of her mission. Is this a mission&mdash;or what

-      is it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is a mission,&rdquo; replied Kate, trying hard to sober herself. &ldquo;We are

-      doing ex&mdash;ex&mdash;cellent work.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But at that point she had recourse to her handkerchief.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Our work, sir,&rdquo; I interposed, &ldquo;is doing an incalculable amount of

-      benefit. It is the most philanthropic, the most judicious&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I stopped for the good reason that I could no longer make myself heard.

-      There was a noise of altercation and scuffling outside our door that

-      startled even the phlegmatic Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What on earth is this?&rdquo; he demanded.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The door opened violently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0086" id="linkimage-0086"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0239.jpg" alt="0239m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0239.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I can't 'old 'er no longer,&rdquo; wailed the voice of our caretaker, and in a

-      moment more there entered as perfect a specimen of one of the Furies as it

-      has ever been my lot to meet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She was a woman we had never seen before, a huge creature with a bloated

-      face adorned by the traces of a recently blacked eye; her bonnet had been

-      knocked over one ear in the scuffle with the caretaker, and her raw hands

-      still clutched two curling-pins with the adjacent locks detached from her

-      adversary's head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Madam,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;what can we do for you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I was determined to let Fisher see the businesslike style in which we

-      conducted our philanthropic operations.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where is he? Where the bloomin' blankness is he?&rdquo; thundered the virago.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Poor Kate gave a little exclamation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Leave her to me,&rdquo; I said, reassuringly. &ldquo;Where is who, my good woman?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My 'usband. You've gone and stole my 'us-band away! But I'll have the law

-      on yer! I'll make it blooming hot for yer!&rdquo; (Only &ldquo;blooming&rdquo; was not the

-      adjective she employed.)

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who are you, and what do you want?&rdquo; said Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      There was something so ponderous in his accents that our visitor was

-      impressed in spite of herself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My name is Mrs. Fulcher, and I wants my 'usband. Them there lydies wot's

-      come 'ere to mike mischief in the 'omcs of pore, hinnercent wiminen,

-      they've give Mrs. Martin the money to do it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To do what?&rdquo; said Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To go for a 'oliday to the seaside, and she's took my 'usband with her!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Taken your husband!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Why should she do that?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Because she ain't got no 'usband of her own, and never 'ad. <i>Missis</i>

-      Martin, indeed! Needin' a 'oliday for 'er 'ealth! That's wot yer calls

-      helevatin' wimmen! 'Elpin' himmorality, I calls it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;This is a nice business, young man!&rdquo; said Fisher, turning to me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Unfortunately for himself he had the ill-taste to smile at this triumph

-      over his ex-burglar.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, you'd larf, would yer!&rdquo; shrieked the deserted spouse. &ldquo;You hold

-      proflergate, I believe you done it on purpose!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Me?&rdquo; gasped Fisher. &ldquo;You ill-tempered, noisy&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But before he could finish this impeachment he received Mrs. Fulcher's

-      right fist on his nose, followed by a fierce charge of her whole massive

-      person; and in another moment the office of the women's mission was the

-      scene of as desperate a conflict as the bastion of the Malakoff. Kate

-      screamed once and then shut her lips, and watched the struggle with a very

-      pale face, while I hurled myself impetuously upon the Amazon and

-      endeavored to seize her arms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Police! Call the police!&rdquo; shouted Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Perlice, perlice,&rdquo; echoed his enemy. &ldquo;I'll per-lice yer, yer dirty,

-      himmoral hold 'ulk!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And bang, bang, went her fists against the side of his head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Idiot, virago, stop!&rdquo; I cried, compressing her swinging arm to her side

-      at last.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Send for the police!&rdquo; boomed the hapless Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Police!&rdquo; came the frenzied voice of the caretaker at the front door.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'll smash yer bloomin' 'ead like a bloomin' cocoanut!&rdquo; shouted Mrs.

-      Fulcher, bringing the other arm into play.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Compress her wind-pipe, Fisher,&rdquo; I advised. &ldquo;Tap her claret! Hold her

-      legs! She kicks!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0087" id="linkimage-0087"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0242.jpg" alt="0242m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0242.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Such a contest was too fierce to last; her vigor relaxed; Fisher was

-      enabled to thrust her head beneath his arm, and I to lift her by the

-      knees, so that by the time the policemen arrived all they had to do was to

-      raise our foe from the floor and bear her away still kicking freely and

-      calling down the vengeance of Heaven upon us.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My first thought was for the unfortunate witness of this engagement.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are upset, Miss Kerry; you are disturbed, I fear. Let me bring you

-      water.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm all right, thanks,&rdquo; she replied, with wonderful composure, though she

-      was pale as a sheet by now.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But what is this?&rdquo; I cried, pointing to a mark on her face. &ldquo;Were you

-      struck?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It's nothing,&rdquo; she replied, feeling for her handkerchief. &ldquo;She hit me by

-      mistake.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      So engrossed was I that I had quite forgotten Fisher; but now I was

-      reminded by the sound of a stentorian grunt.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ugh!&rdquo; he groaned. &ldquo;Get me a cab; fetch me a cab, some one.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Blood was dripping from his nose; his collar was torn, his cheeks scarred

-      by the nails of his foe; everything, even his whiskers, seemed to have

-      suffered. It would not be easy to persuade this victim of the wars to

-      patronize our mission now, but for Kate's sake I thought I must try.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, Fisher,&rdquo; I said, heartily, &ldquo;you are a sportsman! Your spirit and

-      your vigor, my dear sir, were quite admirable.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For reply he only snorted again and repeated his demand for a cab. Well, I

-      sent one of a large crowd of boys who had collected outside the mission to

-      fetch one, and suavely returned to the attack. It was not certainly

-      encouraging to find that he and Kate had evidently exchanged no amenities

-      while I was out of the room, but, ignoring this air of constraint, I said

-      to him:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We shall see you soon again, I trust? We depend upon your aid, you know.

-      You have shown us your martial ardor! let us benefit equally by your

-      pacific virtues!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall see myself&mdash;&rdquo; began Fisher. Then he glanced at Kate and

-      altered his original design into, &ldquo;a very long way before I return to this

-      office. It is disgraceful, sir; madam, I say it is disgraceful.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But what is?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Everything about this place, sir. Mission? I call it a bear-garden,

-      that's what I call it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am sorry, Mr. Fisher,&rdquo; began Kate, but our patron was already on his

-      way out without another word to either of us. And I had been his rescuer!

-      He slammed the door behind him, and that was the last of my friend Fisher.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment or two we remained silent. &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said Kate, with a little

-      laugh, &ldquo;that's the end of our mission.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The end, I fear,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0088" id="linkimage-0088"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0024" id="link2HCH0024"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXIV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Do I love you? Mon Dieu! I am too engrossed in this bonnet to say.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0089" id="linkimage-0089"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9245.jpg" alt="9245 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9245.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      N hour has passed since the departure of Fisher; the crowd outside, after

-      cheering each of the combatants down the street, has at last dispersed;

-      the notice at the door informing all females of our patronage and

-      assistance has been removed; the mission has become only a matter for the

-      local historian, yet we two still linger over the office fire. Kate says

-      little, but in her mind, it seems to me, there must be many thoughts. She

-      has recovered her composure and reflections have had time to come. I, with

-      surprising acumen and confidence, speculate on the nature of these.

-      Disillusionment, the collapse of hopes, and the chilly thaw that leaves

-      only the dripping and fast-vanishing remnants of ideals; these are surely

-      what she feels. As I watch her, also saying little, her singular beauty

-      grows upon me, and my heart goes out in sympathy for her troubles, till it

-      is beating ominously fast. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I say to myself, &ldquo;this is more than

-      Plato. I worship at the shrine of woman. No longer am I a sceptic!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      My sympathy can find no words; yet it must somehow take shape and reach

-      this sorrowing divinity. I lay my hand upon hers and she&mdash;she lets me

-      press her fingers silently, while a little smile begins to awake about the

-      corners of her wilful mouth.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Poor friend!&rdquo; I exclaim, yet with gentle exclamation. &ldquo;Yes,

-      disillusionment is bitter!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She gives her shoulders a shrug and her eye flashes into the fire.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is not that,&rdquo; she replies. &ldquo;It's being made a beastly fool of.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For an instant I get a shock; but the spell of the moment and her beauty

-      is too strong to be broken. It seems to me that I do but hear an evidence

-      of her unconquerable spirit.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have a friend,&rdquo; I whisper, &ldquo;who can never think you a fool. To me you

-      are the ideal, the queen of women. You may have lost your own ardent faith

-      in woman through this luckless experiment, but you have converted me!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this she gives me such a smile that all timidity vanishes. &ldquo;Kate!&rdquo; I

-      exclaim, and the next moment she is in my arms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For a silent five minutes I enjoyed all the raptures that a beautiful

-      woman and a rioting imagination can bestow. Picture Don Quixote embracing

-      a Dulcinea who should really be as fair of face as his fancy painted her.

-      Would not the poor man conceive himself in heaven even though she never

-      understood a word of all his passion? For the moment I shared some of the

-      virtues of that paladin with a fairer reason for my blindness. Her soft

-      face lay against mine, the dark lashes hid her eyes, her form yielded to

-      every pressure. What I said to her I cannot remember, even if I were

-      inclined to confess it now; I only know that my sentiments were flying

-      very high indeed, when suddenly she laughed. I stopped abruptly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why do you laugh?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She raised her head and opened her eyes and I saw that there was certainly

-      no trace of sentiment in them.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are getting ridiculous,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Don't look so beastly serious!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Serious!&rdquo; I gasped. &ldquo;But&mdash;but what are you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She smiled at me again as kindly and provokingly as ever. But the veil of

-      illusion was rent and it needed but another tear to pull it altogether

-      from my eyes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You do not love me, then?&rdquo; I asked, as calmly as I could.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Love?&rdquo; she smiled. &ldquo;Don't be absurd!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;I see I have neglected my duties hitherto. I ought to

-      have been kissing you all this time. That would have amused you better!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, I had roused her now, but to anger, not to love. She sprang back from

-      me, her eyes flashing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You insult me!&rdquo; she cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is it possible?&rdquo; I asked, with a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Her answer was brief, it was stormy, and it was not very flattering to

-      myself; evidently she was genuinely indignant.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And I&mdash;yes, I was beginning to see the ordinary little bits of glass

-      that had made so dazzling a kaleidoscope. I had been upbraiding Dulcinea

-      with not being indeed the lady of Toboso; and that honest maiden was

-      naturally incensed at my language.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I fear that in the polite apology I made her, I allowed this discovery to

-      be too apparent. Again she was in arms, and this time with considerable

-      dramatic effect.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I know what you think!&rdquo; she cried. &ldquo;You think that because I don't

-      make a fuss about <i>you</i>, I have no sentiments. If you were worth it

-      you would see that I could be&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She paused.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With the privilege of woman, she slightly changed the line of argument.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All men are alike,&rdquo; she said, contemptuously.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you have had similar experiences before?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, with a candor I could not help thinking was somewhat

-      belated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In the Temple?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He made a fool of himself, just like you,&rdquo; she retorted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yet you assured me there was no one&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What business had you with my confidence?&rdquo; she interrupted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I see,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;So you told what was not quite the truth? You were

-      quite right; people are so apt to misunderstand these situations. In

-      future I shall know better than to ask questions&mdash;because I shall be

-      able to guess the answers. Good-bye.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She replied with a distant farewell, and that was the end of a pretty

-      charade.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I went away vowing that I should never think of her again; I lunched at

-      the gayest restaurant to assist me in this resolution; I planned a series

-      of consolations that should make oblivion amusing, even if not very

-      edifying; yet early in the afternoon I found myself in her uncle's

-      apartments, watching the old gentleman put the finishing touches to &ldquo;A

-      portrait from memory of Miss Kate Kerry.&rdquo; That picture at least did not

-      flatter! I had told him before of our ripening acquaintance and my

-      engagement as secretary, and I think the General had enough martial spirit

-      still left to divine the reason for my philanthropic ardor. To-day he

-      quickly guessed that something unfortunate had happened.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Had a row with Kate, eh?&rdquo; he inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A row?&rdquo; I said, endeavoring to put as humorous a face on it as possible.

-      &ldquo;General, I pulled a string, expecting warm water to flow, and instead I

-      received a cold shower-bath.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I fear I must have smiled somewhat sadly, for it was in a very kindly

-      voice that the old gentleman replied:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know, mossoo; I know what it feels like. I remember my feelings when a

-      certain lady gave me the congé, as you'd say, in '62&mdash;was it?&mdash;or

-      '63. Long time ago now, anyhow, but I haven't forgotten it yet. Only time

-      I ever screwed my courage up to the proposing point; found afterwards

-      she'd been engaged to another man for two years. She might have told me,

-      hang it!&mdash;but I haven't died of broken heart, mossoo. You'll get over

-      it, never fear.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But it is not that she is engaged; it is not that she has repulsed me.

-      She is your niece, General, but I fear her heart is of stone. She is a

-      flirt, a&mdash;&rdquo; In my heat I was getting carried away; I recalled myself

-      in time, and added:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon; I forget myself, General.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know, I know,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I've felt the same about her myself,

-      mossoo. She's a fine girl; good feelings and all the rest of it, but a

-      little&mdash;er&mdash;unsatisfactory sometimes, I think. I've hoped for a

-      little more myself now and then&mdash;a little&mdash;er&mdash;womanliness,

-      and so on.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I cannot understand her,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I pictured her full of soul&mdash;and

-      now!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I used to picture 'em full of soul, too,&rdquo; said the General, &ldquo;till I

-      learned that a bright eye only meant it wasn't shut and that you could get

-      as heavenly a smile by tickling 'em as any other way.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;General!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Are you a cynic, then?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;God forbid!&rdquo; said the old boy, hastily. &ldquo;I've seen too many good women

-      for that. I only mean that you don't quite get the style of virtue you

-      expect when you are&mdash;twenty-five, for instance. What you get in the

-      best of 'em is a good wearing article, but not&mdash;er&mdash;the fancy

-      piece of goods you imagine.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In a word,&rdquo; I said, as I rose to leave him, &ldquo;you ask for a pearl and you

-      get a cheap but serviceable pebble.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, well,&rdquo; he replied, good-humouredly, &ldquo;we'll see what you say six

-      weeks later.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have learned my lesson,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;You will see that I shall

-      remember it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The reader will also see, if his patience with the experimental

-      philosopher and confident prophet is not yet quite exhausted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0090" id="linkimage-0090"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0025" id="link2HCH0025"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>We won't go home till morning!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;English Song.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0091" id="linkimage-0091"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9252.jpg" alt="9252 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9252.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ND now for a 'burst'!&rdquo; I said to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Adieu, fond fancies; welcome, gay reality!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I dressed for the evening; I filled my purse; I started out to seek the

-      real friends I had been neglecting for the sake of that imaginary one. But

-      I had only got the length of opening my door when I smiled a cynical

-      smile. There was Halfred in the passage playing the same farce with

-      Aramatilda. They stood very close together, remarkably close together,

-      talking in low tones.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thus woman fools us all,&rdquo; I thought.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With a little exclamation Miss Titch flew upstairs while Halfred turned to

-      me with something of a convicted air.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Miss Titch has been a-telling me, sir&mdash;&rdquo; he began.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know; I saw her,&rdquo; I replied, eying him in a way that disconcerted him

-      considerably. &ldquo;She has been telling you that woman is worthy of your

-      homage; and doubtless you believed her. Did you not?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, sir. She ain't said that exactly,&rdquo; he answered; &ldquo;though it wouldn't

-      be surprising, either, to hear 'er usin' them kind of words, considering

-      'er remarkable heducation. Wot she said was&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That you will serve till she finds another,&rdquo; I interposed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Miss Titch, sir, ain't one of that kind,&rdquo; he replied, with an air of

-      foolish chivalry I could not but admire in spite of myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon, Halfred. She is divine; I admit it. What did she say, then?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She says there's been a furriner pumpin' 'er about you, sir, this very

-      hafternoon.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pumping?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hashing questions like wot a Bobby does; as if 'e wanted hall the correct

-      facts.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ha!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;And he asked them of a woman!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; 'e comed up to 'er in the square and says 'e, 'You're Miss

-      Titch, ain't you?' and 'e gets a-talkin' to 'er&mdash;a very polite

-      gentleman 'e was, she says&mdash;and then 'e sorter gets haskin' about

-      you, sir, and wot you was a-doing and 'oo your friends was, and about the

-      General, too.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And, in brief, he gossiped with her on every subject that would serve as

-      an excuse,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Halfred, if I were you and I felt interested in Miss

-      Titch&mdash;I say, supposing I felt interested in Miss Titch, I should

-      look out for that foreigner and practise my boxing upon him!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0092" id="linkimage-0092"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9254.jpg" alt="9254 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9254.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you don't think, sir&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't think it was me he was interested in.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; said my servant, with a disappointed air, for he founded

-      great hopes of melodrama upon me, &ldquo;in that case I shall advise Miss Titch

-      to take care of 'erself.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do not fear,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;They all do that. It is we who need the

-      caution! Yes, Halfred, my sympathy is with that poor foreigner.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I fear my servant put down this sentiment to mere un-British eccentricity,

-      but I felt I had done my duty by him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As for the inquisitive foreigner, I smiled at the idea that he had really

-      addressed the fair Aramatilda for the purpose of hearing news of me. I may

-      mention that I had heard nothing more of Hankey; nothing from the league;

-      nothing had followed the arrival of the packing-case; the French

-      government seemed to have ignored my escapade; there were many foreigners

-      in London unconnected with my concerns; so why should I suppose that this

-      chance acquaintance of Aramatilda's had anything to do with me? &ldquo;If I am

-      wanted, I shall be sent for,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;Till then, revelry and

-      distraction!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      First, I sought out Teddy Lumme. We met for the first time since I left

-      Seneschal Court, but at the first greeting it was evident that all

-      resentment had passed from his mind as completely as it had from mine.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where the deuce have you been hiding?&rdquo; he asked me, with his old

-      geniality. &ldquo;We wanted you the other night; great evening we had; Archie

-      and me and Bobby and Tyler; box at the Empire, supper at the European,

-      danced till six in the morning at Covent Garden; breakfast at Muggins; and

-      the devil of a day after that. I'd have sent you a wire but I thought

-      you'd left town. No one has seen you. Been getting up another conspiracy,

-      what? Chap at the French embassy told me the other day their government

-      expected your people to have a kick-up soon. By Jove, though, he told me

-      not to tell any one! But you won't say anything about it, I dare say.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I can assure you it is news to me,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;but in any case I

-      certainly should not discuss the matter indiscreetly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now the question is,&rdquo; said Teddy, &ldquo;where shall we dine and what shall

-      we do afterwards?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, it may be elevating and absorbing to experiment in Plato and guide the

-      operations of philanthropy, but when the head is not yet bald and the

-      blood still flows fast, commend me to an evening spent with cheerful

-      friends in search of some less austere ideal! This may not be the

-      sentiment of an Aurelius&mdash;but then that is not my name.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We dined amid the glitter of lights and mirrors and fair faces and bright

-      colors; a band thundering a waltz accompaniment to the soup, a mazurka to

-      the fish; a babel of noise all round us&mdash;laughing voices, clattering

-      silver, popping corks, stirring music; and ourselves getting rapidly into

-      tune with all of this.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By-the-way,&rdquo; I said, in a nonchalant tone, &ldquo;have you seen Aliss

-      Trevor-Hudson again?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said Teddy, carelessly, and yet with a slightly uncomfortable air.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did you become friends again? Pardon me if I am indiscreet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hang it! d'Haricot,&rdquo; he exclaimed; &ldquo;I'm off women&mdash;for good this

-      time.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then she was&mdash;what shall I say?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She kept me hanging on for a week,&rdquo; confessed Teddy, &ldquo;and then suddenly

-      accepted old Horley.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Horley&mdash;the stout baronet? Why, he might be her father!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;So Miss Horley thinks, I believe,&rdquo; grinned Teddy. &ldquo;His family are sick as

-      dogs about it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And hers?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, Sir Henry has twenty thousand a year; they're quite pleased.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I smiled cynically at this confirmation of my philosophy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say, have you got over your own penshant, as you'd call it, for the

-      lady?&rdquo; asked Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear fellow,&rdquo; I said, lightly, &ldquo;these affairs do not trouble me long.

-      I give you a toast, Teddy&mdash;here is to man's best friend&mdash;a short

-      memory!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And blow the expense!&rdquo; added Teddy, somewhat irrelevantly, but with great

-      enthusiasm.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A short life and a merry one!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Kiss 'em all, and no heel-taps!&rdquo; cried Teddy. &ldquo;Waiter, another bottle,

-      and move about a little quicker, will you? Getting that gentleman's soup,

-      were you? Well, don't do it again; d'ye hear?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0093" id="linkimage-0093"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0258.jpg" alt="0258m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0258.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      At this moment a piercing cry reached us from the other side of the room.

-      It sounded like an elementary attempt to pronounce two words, &ldquo;Hey, Teddy!

-      Hey, Teddy!&rdquo; and to be composed of several voices. We looked across and

-      saw four or five young men, most of them on their feet, and all waving

-      either napkins or empty bottles. On catching my friend's eye their

-      enthusiasm redoubled, and on his part he became instantly excited.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By Jove!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Excuse me one minute.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He rushed across the room and I could see that he was the recipient of a

-      most hilarious greeting. Presently he came back in great spirits.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say, we're in luck's way,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I'd quite forgotten this was the

-      night of the match.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      It then appeared that the universities of Oxford and Cambridge had been

-      playing a football match that afternoon and that on the evening of the

-      encounter it was an ancient custom for these seats of learning to join in

-      an amicable celebration of the event.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The very thing we want,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Come on and join these men&mdash;old

-      pals of mine; dashed good chaps and regular sportsmen. Come on!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But,&rdquo; I protested, as I let him lead me to these &ldquo;regular sportsmen,&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am neither of Oxford nor Cambridge.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, that doesn't matter. Hi!&rdquo; (this was to call the attention of his

-      friends to my presence). &ldquo;Let me introduce Mr. Black, of Brasenose; Mr.

-      Brown, of Balliol, Mr. Scarlett, of Magdalen; Mr. White, of Christchurch.

-      This is my honorable and accomplished friend, Mr. Juggins, of Jesus!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this there was a roar of welcome and a universal shout of &ldquo;Good old

-      Juggins!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But indeed my friend flatters me!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have not the honor to

-      be the Juggins.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No use in disclaiming my new name, however. Juggins of Jesus I remained

-      for the rest of that evening, and there was nothing for it but to live up

-      to the character. And I soon found that it was not difficult. All I had to

-      do was to shout whenever Mr. Scarlett or Mr. Black shouted, and wave my

-      napkin in imitation of Mr. White or Mr. Brown. No questions were asked

-      regarding my degree or the lectures I attended, and my perfect familiarity

-      with Jesus College seemed to be taken for granted. I do not wish to seem

-      vainglorious, but I cannot help thinking that I produced a favorable

-      impression on my new friends.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Juggins won the match for us,&rdquo; shouted Mr. White. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did, indeed. Vive la football! I won it by an innings and a goal!&rdquo; I

-      cried, adopting what I knew of their athletic terms.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Juggins will make us a speech! Good old Juggins!&rdquo; shouted Mr. Black.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0094" id="linkimage-0094"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0260.jpg" alt="0260m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0260.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fellow-students!&rdquo; I replied, rising promptly at this invitation, &ldquo;my

-      exploits already seem known to you, better even than to myself. How I hit

-      the wicket, kick the goal, bowl the hurdle, and swing the oar, what need

-      to relate? Good old Juggins, indeed! I give you this health&mdash;to my

-      venerable college of Jesus, to the beloved colleges of you all, to my

-      respectable and promising friend, Lumme, to the goal-post of Oxford, to

-      love, to wine, to the Prince of Wales!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Never was a speech delivered with more fervor or received with greater

-      applause. After that I do not think they would have parted with me to save

-      themselves from prison. And indeed it very nearly came to that alternative

-      more than once in the course of the evening.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0095" id="linkimage-0095"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0262.jpg" alt="0262m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0262.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      We hailed two hansoms, and drove, three in each, and all of us addressing

-      appropriate sentiments to the passers-by, to a music-hall which, as I am

-      now making my début as a distinguished sportsman, I shall call the

-      &ldquo;Umpire.&rdquo; I shall not give its real name, as my share in the occurrences

-      that ensued is probably still remembered by the management. It was,

-      however, not unlike the title I have given it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My head, I confess, was buzzing in the most unwonted fashion, but I

-      remember quite distinctly that as we alighted from our cabs there was

-      quite a crowd about the doors, all apparently making as much noise as they

-      could, and that as we pushed our way through, my eyes were fascinated by a

-      bill bearing the legend &ldquo;<i>NEPTUNE</i>&mdash;the Amphibious Marvel! First

-      appearance to-night! All records broken!&rdquo; And I wondered, in the seriously

-      simple way one does wonder under such conditions, what in the world the

-      meaning of this cryptogram might be.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We got inside, and, my faith! the scene that met our eyes! Apparently the

-      football match was being replayed in the promenade and on the staircases

-      of the Umpire. Three gigantic figures in livery&mdash;&ldquo;the bowlers-out&rdquo; as

-      they are termed&mdash;were dragging a small and tattered man by the head

-      and shoulders while his friends clung desperately to his lower limbs.

-      Round this tableau seethed a wild throng shouting &ldquo;Oxford!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Cambridge!&rdquo; and similar war-cries&mdash;destroying their own and each

-      others' hats, and moved apparently by as incalculable forces as the

-      billows in a storm. On the stage a luckless figure in a grotesque costume

-      was vainly endeavoring to make a comic song audible; and what the rest of

-      the audience were doing or thinking I have no means of guessing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oxford! To the rescue!&rdquo; shouted Mr. Black.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Vive Juggins! Kick the football!&rdquo; I cried, leading the onslaught and

-      hurling myself upon one of the bowlers-out.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo; yelled my admirers, as they followed my spirited

-      example, and in a moment the house rang with my new name. &ldquo;Juggins!&rdquo;

-       could, I am sure, have been heard for half a mile outside.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The uproar increased; more bowlers-out hurried to the rescue; and I,

-      thanks to my efficient use of my fists and feet, found myself the

-      principal object of their attention. Had it not been for the loyal support

-      of my companions I know not what my fate would have been, but their

-      attachment seemed to increase with each fresh enemy who assailed me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At last, panting and dishevelled, my opera-hat flattened and crushed over

-      my eyes, the lining of my overcoat hanging out in a long streamer, like a

-      flag of distress, I was dragged free by the united efforts of Mr. White

-      and Mr. Scarlett, and for an instant had a breathing space.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0096" id="linkimage-0096"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0264.jpg" alt="0264m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0264.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      I could see that the curtain was down and the performance stopped; that

-      many people had risen in their places and apparently were calling for the

-      assistance of the police, and that from the number of liveries in the

-      mêlée the management were taking the rioters seriously in hand. In another

-      moment two or three of these officials broke loose and bore down upon me

-      with a shout of &ldquo;That's 'im!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Bolt, Juggins!&rdquo; cried Mr. Scarlett. &ldquo;We'll give you a start.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The two intrepid gentlemen placed themselves between me and my pursuers. I

-      stood my ground for a minute, but seeing that nothing could withstand the

-      onset of my foes, and that Mr. White was already on the floor, I turned

-      and fled. The chase was hot. I dashed down a flight of stairs, and then,

-      by a happy chance, saw a door marked &ldquo;private.&rdquo; Through it I ran and was

-      making my way I knew not whither, but certainly in forbidden territory,

-      when I was confronted by an agitated stranger. I stopped, and would have

-      raised my hat had it not been so tightly jammed upon my head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The man looked at me for a moment, and then seemed to think he recognized

-      my face.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0097" id="linkimage-0097"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0266.jpg" alt="0266m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0266.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are Mr. Neptune?&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have named me!&rdquo; I cried, opening my arms and embracing him

-      effusively.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am afraid you got into the crowd,&rdquo; said he, withdrawing, in some

-      embarrassment, I thought. &ldquo;I suppose that is why you are late.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is the reason,&rdquo; I replied, feeling mystified, indeed, but devoutly

-      thankful that he did not recognize me as the hunted Juggins.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;you had better go on at once, if you don't mind. There

-      is rather a disturbance, I am afraid, and we have lowered the curtain; but

-      perhaps your appearance may quiet them.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My appearance?&rdquo; I asked, glancing down at my torn overcoat, and wondering

-      what sedative effect such a scarecrow was likely to have. Besides, I had

-      appeared and it had not quieted them; though this, of course, he did not

-      know.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I mean,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;that the nature of your performance is so

-      absorbing that we hope it may rivet attention somewhat.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      A light dawned upon me. I now remembered the bill outside the theatre. I

-      was the &ldquo;Amphibious Marvel!&rdquo; Well, it would not do for the intrepid

-      Juggins to refuse the adventure. For the honor of Jesus College I must

-      endeavor to &ldquo;break all records.&rdquo; My one hope was that, as it was to be my

-      first appearance, anything strange in the nature of my performance might

-      be received merely as a diverting novelty.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The stage is set for you,&rdquo; said my unknown friend. &ldquo;How long will it take

-      you to change?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Change?&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;This is the costume in which I always perform.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He looked surprised, but also relieved that there would be no further

-      delay, and presently I found myself upon a huge stage, the curtain down in

-      front, and no one there but myself and my conductor. What was I expected

-      to do? I was sufficiently expert at gymnastics to make some sort of show

-      upon the trapeze without more than a reasonable chance of breaking my

-      neck. But there was no sign of any such apparatus. Was I, then, a strong

-      man? I had always had a grave suspicion that those huge cannon-balls and

-      dumb-bells were really hollow, and, in any case, I could at least roll

-      them about. But there were neither cannonballs nor dumb-bells. No, there

-      was nothing but a high and narrow box of glass.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is all right, you will find,&rdquo; said my conductor, coming up to this.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I also approached it and gave a gasp.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The box was filled with water&mdash;water about six feet deep!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shouldn't care to dive into it myself,&rdquo; he said, jocularly. &ldquo;But I

-      suppose it is all a matter of practice.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do I dive in&mdash;from the roof?&rdquo; I asked, a little weakly, I fear.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did you mean to?&rdquo; he replied, evidently perturbed lest their arrangements

-      had been insufficient.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not to-night,&rdquo; I said, with a sigh of relief. &ldquo;But to-morrow night&mdash;ah,

-      yes; you will see me then!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He regarded me with undisguised admiration.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are all ready?&rdquo; he asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Quite,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We went into the wings and the curtain rose.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I time you, of course,&rdquo; said my friend, taking out his watch. &ldquo;You have

-      stayed under five minutes in Paris, haven't you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I had discovered my vocation at last. The Amphibious Neptune was a

-      record-breaking diver.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ten,&rdquo; I answered, carelessly, and with such an air as I thought

-      appropriate to my reputation I walked onto the stage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Gentlemen and ladies!&rdquo; shouted my friend, coming up to the foot-lights.

-      &ldquo;This is the world-famed Neptune, who has repeatedly stayed under water

-      for periods of from eight to ten minutes! He is rightly styled&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But at this point his voice was lost in such an uproar as, I flatter

-      myself, greets the appearance of few Umpire artistes. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo;

-       they shouted. &ldquo;Good old Juggins!&rdquo; I was recognized now, and I must live up

-      to my reputation as the high-spirited representative of Jesus College,

-      Oxford.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0098" id="linkimage-0098"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0269.jpg" alt="0269m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0269.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Kissing my hand to my cheering audience I mounted the steps placed against

-      the end of the tank, and with a magnificent splash leaped into the water&mdash;I

-      cannot strictly say I dived, for, on surveying the constricted area of my

-      aquatic operations, it seemed folly to risk cracking a valuable head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Unluckily, I had omitted in my enthusiasm to remove even my top-coat, and

-      either in the air or the water (I cannot say which) I drove my foot

-      through the torn lining. Conceive now the situation into which my

-      recklessness had plunged me&mdash;entangled in my overcoat at the bottom

-      of six feet of water, struggling madly to free myself, with only a sheet

-      of transparent glass between me and as dry a stage as any in England;

-      drowning ridiculously in clear view of a full and enthusiastic house. My

-      struggles can only have lasted for a few seconds, though to me they seemed

-      longer than the ten minutes I had boasted of, and then&mdash;the good God

-      be thanked!&mdash;I felt the side of my prison yield to my kicking, and in

-      another moment I was seated in three inches of water, dizzily watching a

-      miniature Niagara sweep the stage and foam over the foot-lights into the

-      panic-stricken orchestra.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Down with the curtain!&rdquo; I heard some one cry from behind, but before it

-      had quite descended the Amphibious Marvel had smashed his way out of his

-      tank and leaped into the unwilling arms of the double-bass.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0099" id="linkimage-0099"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0270.jpg" alt="0270m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0270.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Ah! that was a night to be remembered&mdash;though not, I must frankly

-      admit, to be repeated. Another mêlée with the exasperated musicians; a

-      gallant rescue by Teddy and his friends; a triumphant exit from the Umpire

-      borne on the shoulders of my cheering admirers; all the other events of

-      that stirring night still live in the memory of &ldquo;Good old Juggins.&rdquo; To my

-      fellow undergraduates of an evening I dedicate this happy, disreputable

-      reminiscence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0100" id="linkimage-0100"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0026" id="link2HCH0026"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXVI

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>So you pushed that little snowball from the top? And now it has

-      reached the bottom and become quite large? My faith! how surprising!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0101" id="linkimage-0101"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9272.jpg" alt="9272 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9272.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      T is an afternoon in December, gray and chilly and dark; neither the

-      season nor the hour to exhilarate the heart. I am alone in my room,

-      bending over my writing-table, endeavoring to relieve my depression upon

-      paper.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Since my appearance upon the music-hall stage I have enjoyed the society

-      of my Oxford friends while they remained in town; I have revelled with

-      Teddy; I have had my &ldquo;burst&rdquo;; and now the reaction has come. The solace of

-      my most real and intimate friend, Dick Shafthead, is denied me, for he has

-      apparently left London for a time; at any rate, his rooms are shut up and

-      he is not there. No company now but regrets and cynical reflections. A

-      short time ago what bright fancies were visiting me!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Woman gives and woman takes away,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;But she takes more

-      than she gives!&rdquo; I felt indeed bankrupt.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0102" id="linkimage-0102"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0273.jpg" alt="0273m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0273.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      Opening my journal and glancing back over rose-tinted, deluded eulogies, I

-      came to the interrupted entry, &ldquo;To d'Haricot from d'Haricot.&rdquo; Ah, that I

-      had profited by my own advice! &ldquo;Foolish friend, beware!&rdquo;&mdash;but he had

-      not.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I took up my pen and continued the exhortation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>What is woman? A false coin that passes current only with fools! Art

-      thou a fool, then? No longer!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Just then came a tap at the door, followed by the comely' face of

-      Aramatilda.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A lady to see you, sir,&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I started. Could it be&mdash;? Impossible!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is she?&rdquo; I asked, indifferently.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;She didn't give her name, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Show her in,&rdquo; I replied, closing my journal, but repeating its last words

-      to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Again the door opened. I rose from my seat. Did Kate hope to befool me

-      again? No, it was not Kate who entered and said, in a tone of perfect

-      self-possession:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you Mr. d'Haricot?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She was rather small, she was young&mdash;not more than two-and-twenty.

-      She had a very fresh complexion and a pretty, round little face saved from

-      any dolliness by the steadiness of her blue eyes, the firmness of her

-      mouth, and the expression of quiet self-possession. She reminded me of

-      some one, though for the moment I could not think who.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am Mr. d'Haricot,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am Aliss Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick's sister!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said, with a pleasant glimpse of smile that accentuated the

-      resemblance. &ldquo;Have you seen him lately?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Unfortunately, no.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She gave me a quick, clear glance as if to test my truth, and then, as

-      though she were satisfied, went on in the same quiet and candid voice:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I tried to find my cousin Teddy Lumme, but, as he was out, I have taken

-      the liberty of calling on you, because I know you are one of Dick's

-      friends&mdash;and because&mdash;&rdquo; She hesitated, though without any

-      embarrassment, and gave me the same kind of glance again&mdash;just such a

-      look as Dick would have given, translated into a woman's eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is anything the matter?&rdquo; I asked, quickly. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;He has left

-      home and we don't know where he is.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What has happened?&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He has told you of Agnes Grey, I think?&rdquo; she answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He has given me his confidence.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick came home a few days ago, and became engaged to her. My father was

-      angry about it and now they have gone away.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She told me this in the same quiet, straightforward way, looking straight

-      at me in a manner more disconcerting than any suggestion of reproach. It

-      was I&mdash;I, the misanthrope, the contemner of woman, who had urged him,

-      exhorted him to this reckless deed! And evidently she knew what my counsel

-      had been. I could have shot myself before her eyes if I had thought that

-      step would have mended matters.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then they have run away together!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;They have gone away,&rdquo; she

-      repeated, quietly, &ldquo;and, I suppose, together. I am afraid my father was

-      very hard on them both.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And doubtless you have learned what ridiculous advice I gave him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, &ldquo;Dick told me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now you abhor me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I should be much obliged if you would help me to find them,&rdquo; she

-      answered, still keeping her steady eyes upon my distracted countenance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I ask your pardon,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It is help you want, not my regrets&mdash;though,

-      I assure you, I feel them. Have you been to his chambers?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, I went and knocked, but I could get no answer.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Perhaps they&mdash;I should say he&mdash;has returned by now. I shall go

-      at once and see.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thank you,&rdquo; she replied, still quietly, but with a kinder look in her

-      eyes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And you&mdash;will you wait here?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I shall come, too, of course,&rdquo; she said, and somehow I found this

-      announcement pleasing.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As we drove together towards the Temple, I learned a few more particulars

-      of Dick's escapade. When he told his father his intention of marrying Miss

-      Grey, the indignation of the baronet evidently knew no bounds, for even

-      his daughter admitted that he had been less than courteous to poor Agnes,

-      and what he had said to Dick was discreetly left to my imagination. This

-      all happened yesterday; Agnes had retired, weeping, to her bedroom, and

-      Dick, swearing, towards the stables. The orders he gave the coachman were

-      only discovered afterwards; but his plans were well laid, for it was not

-      till the culprits were missing at dinner that any one discovered they had

-      only waited till darkness fell and then driven straight to the station. No

-      message was left, no clew to their whereabouts. You can picture the state

-      of mind the family were thrown into.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Morning came, but no letter with it, and by the middle of the day Miss

-      Shafthead could stand the suspense no longer, so, in the same

-      business-like fashion as Dick, without a word to her parents, she had

-      started in pursuit. The aunt she proposed to spend the night with was not

-      as yet informed that she was to have a visitor; business first, and till

-      that was accomplished my fair companion was simply letting fate take

-      charge of her. &ldquo;With fate's permission, I shall assist,&rdquo; I said to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As we drew near to the Temple, she fell silent, and I felt sure that,

-      despite her air of <i>sang-froid</i>, her sisterly heart was beating

-      faster.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you think they&mdash;I mean he&mdash;will have returned?&rdquo; she said to

-      me, suddenly, as we walked across the quiet court.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sooner or later he is sure to be in&mdash;if he is in London. May I ask

-      you to say nothing as we ascend the stairs, and to permit me to make the

-      inquiries?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She gave her consent in a glance, and we tramped up the old wooden

-      staircase till we stopped in silence before Dick's door. These chambers of

-      the Temple are unprovided with any bells or other means of calling the

-      inmates' attention beyond the simple method of knocking. If the heavy

-      outer door of oak be closed, and he away from home, or disinclined to

-      receive you, you may knock all afternoon without getting any satisfaction;

-      and it was the latter alternative I feared. At this juncture I could

-      imagine circumstances under which my friend might prefer to remain

-      undisturbed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment I listened, and I was sure I could hear a movement inside.

-      Then I knocked loudly. No answer. I knocked again, but still no answer.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Stay where you are and make no sound,&rdquo; I whispered to my companion. &ldquo;Like

-      the badger, he must be drawn.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0103" id="linkimage-0103"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0279.jpg" alt="0279m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0279.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      I fumbled at the letter-slit in the door as though I were the postman

-      endeavoring to introduce a packet, and dropped my pocket-book on the floor

-      outside. This I knew to be the habit of these officials when a newspaper

-      proved too bulky. Then, quietly picking up the pocket-book, I descended

-      the stairs with as much noise as possible, till I thought I was out of

-      hearing, when I turned and ran lightly up again. Just as I was quietly

-      approaching the top of the flight I saw the door open and the astonished

-      Dick confront his sister. I stopped.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Daisy!&rdquo; he exclaimed, in a tone which seemed to be made up of several

-      emotions.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick!&rdquo; she replied, her self-control just failing to keep her voice quite

-      steady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Was it you who knocked?&rdquo; he asked, more suspiciously than kindly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, Dick; it was I who look that liberty,&rdquo; I answered, continuing my

-      ascent.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He turned with a start, for he had not seen me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You?&rdquo; he said, sharply. &ldquo;It was a dodge, then, to&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To induce you to break from cover. Yes, my friend, to such extremities

-      have you driven us.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In what capacity have you come?&rdquo; he asked, with ominous coolness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As friends,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Friends who have come to place ourselves at your

-      service; haven't we, Miss Shafthead?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; said she, &ldquo;we are friends. Don't you believe me, Dick?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who sent you?&rdquo; he asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I came myself.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Does my father know?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick's manner changed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It's very good of you, Daisy. Unfortunately&mdash;&rdquo; here he hesitated in

-      some embarrassment&mdash;&ldquo;unfortunately, I am engaged&mdash;I mean I have

-      some one with me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this crisis Miss Daisy rose to the occasion in a way that surprised me,

-      even though I had done little but admire her spirit since we met.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course,&rdquo; she replied, with a smile; &ldquo;I was sure you would have, Dick,

-      and I want to see you both.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come in, then,&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I?&rdquo; I asked, with a becoming air of diffidence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As I acted on your advice,&rdquo; he answered, &ldquo;you'd better see what you've

-      done.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We entered, and there, standing in the lamplight, we saw the cause of all

-      this mischief. She was a little, slender figure with a pretty little oval

-      face in which two very soft brown eyes made a mute appeal for sympathy.

-      There was something about her air, something about her demure expression,

-      something about the simplicity of her dress and the Puritan fashion in

-      which she wore her hair, that gave one an indescribably quaint and

-      old-fashioned impression, and this impression was altogether pleasant.

-      When she opened her lips, and in a voice that, I know not how, heightened

-      this effect, and with an expression of sweetness and contrition said,

-      simply: &ldquo;Daisy, what must you think?&rdquo; I forgot all my worldly wisdom and

-      was ready, if necessary, to egg her lover on to still more gallant courses

-      Daisy herself, however, capitulated more tardily. She did not, as I hoped,

-      rush into the charming little sinner's arms, but only answered, kindly,

-      indeed, yet as if holding her judgment in reserve:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I haven't heard what has happened yet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I gave a sign to Dick to be discreet in answering this inquiry, which he

-      however read as merely calling attention to my presence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, let me introduce Mr. d'Haricot&mdash;Miss Grey,&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      So she was still Aliss Grey&mdash;and they had fled together nearly

-      four-and-twenty hours ago. I repeated my signal to be careful in making

-      admissions.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where have you been?&rdquo; said Daisy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have some cousins&mdash;some cousins of my father's&mdash;in London,&rdquo;

-       Agnes answered. &ldquo;I am staying with them.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And you are living here?&rdquo; I said to Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Where else?&rdquo; he replied, with a surprise that was undoubtedly genuine.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The arrangement is prudence itself,&rdquo; I pronounced. &ldquo;You see, Miss

-      Shafthead, that these young people have tempered their ardor with a

-      discretion we had scarcely looked for. I do not know what you intend to

-      do, but, for myself, I kiss Miss Grey's hand and place my poor services at

-      her disposal!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And I proceeded to carry out the more immediately possible part of this

-      resolution without further delay.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The little mademoiselle was evidently affected by my act of salutation,

-      while Dick exclaimed, with great cordiality:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good old monsieur; by Jove! you're a sportsman!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Still his sister hung back; in fact, my impetuosity seemed to have rather

-      a damping effect upon her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What are you going to do, Dick?&rdquo; she asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We are going to get married.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What, at once?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Almost immediately.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Without father's consent?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;After what he said to us both&mdash;to Agnes in particular&mdash;do you

-      think I am going to trouble about his opinion?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But, Dick, supposing we can get him to change his mind?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is going to change it for him? for he won't do it himself&mdash;I

-      know the governor well enough for that.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If I try to, will you wait for a little?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It's no use,&rdquo; said Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Wait till we see, Dick!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, we shall wait,&rdquo; said Agnes. &ldquo;Dick, you will wait, won't you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you insist,&rdquo; replied Dick, though not very cordially.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you will try?&rdquo; said Agnes.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Daisy came to her side, took her hand, and kissed her at last.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh yes, I'll do my very best!&rdquo; she exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      There followed one of those little displays of womanly affection that are

-      so charming yet so tantalizing when one stands outside the embraces and

-      thinks of the improvement that might be effected by a transposition of

-      either of the actors.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What will you say?&rdquo; asked Dick, in a minute.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't quite know,&rdquo; replied Daisy, candidly. &ldquo;I suppose I had better say

-      that&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She paused, as if considering.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Say that this is one of the matches made in heaven!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;Say that

-      not even a father has the right to stand between two people who love each

-      other as these do!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By gad! Daisy,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;you ought to take the monsieur with you. I

-      don't believe there'd be any resisting him.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let me come!&rdquo; I exclaimed; &ldquo;I claim the privilege. My rash counsels

-      helped to cause this situation; permit me to try and make the atonement!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Daisy looked at me, I am bound to say, rather doubtfully.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He has a wonderful way with him,&rdquo; urged Dick. &ldquo;We can't do that kind of

-      eloquent appeal-to-the-feelings business in England, but it fetches us if

-      it's properly managed. You see, I don't want to fall out with the

-      governor. I know, Daisy, what a good sort he has been&mdash;but I am not

-      going to give up Agnes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If you think Mr. d'Haricot would really do any good&mdash;&rdquo; said Daisy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He can but try,&rdquo; I broke in.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Please let him,&rdquo; said Agnes, softly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, I had not shown her my devotion in vain!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All right,&rdquo; said Daisy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And so it was arranged that we were to start upon our embassy next

-      morning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0104" id="linkimage-0104"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0027" id="link2HCH0027"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXVII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>High Toryism, High Churchism, High Farming, and old port forever!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;CORLETT.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0105" id="linkimage-0105"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9285.jpg" alt="9285 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9285.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HAT evening, when I came to meditate in solitude upon the appeal I

-      purposed to make, my confidence began to evaporate in the most

-      uncomfortable manner. Was I quite certain that I should be pleading a

-      righteous cause? Ah, yes; I had gone too far now to question my cause; but

-      how would my eloquence be received? Would it &ldquo;fetch if properly managed&rdquo;?

-      I tried to picture the baronet, and the more my fancy laid on the colors,

-      the more damping the prospect became.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, well; Providence must guide me,&rdquo; I said to myself at last. And in a

-      way that I am sufficiently old-fashioned&mdash;superstitious&mdash;call it

-      what you will&mdash;to think more than mere coincidence, Providence

-      responded to my faith. I could scarcely guess that my friend, the old

-      General, who came in to smoke a pipe with me, was an agent employed by

-      Heaven, but so he proved.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0106" id="linkimage-0106"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0286.jpg" alt="0286m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0286.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I want your advice,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;What should I say, what should I do, under

-      the following perplexing circumstances?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And, without giving him any names, I told him the story of Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Difficult business, mossoo, delicate affair and that sort of thing,&rdquo; he

-      observed, when I had finished. &ldquo;You say your friend is a pretty obstinate

-      young fellow?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick Shafthead is obstinacy itself,&rdquo; I replied, letting his name escape

-      by a most fortunate slip of the tongue.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Shafthead!&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;By Jove! Any relation to Sir Philip

-      Shafthead?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Since you know his name, and can be trusted not to repeat it, I may as

-      well say you that Sir Philip is the stern father in question. Do you know

-      him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Knew his other son, Major Shafthead. He is the heir, isn't he?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Dick is the second son.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ever met Tommy Shafthead&mdash;as we called him&mdash;the Major, I mean?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No; he is stationed abroad, I believe.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Heard about <i>his</i> marriage?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Dick has seldom mentioned him.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I wonder if he knows,&rdquo; said the General.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;About Tommy's marriage.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is there a mystery?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; said the General, &ldquo;it's a matter that has been kept pretty quiet;

-      but in case it may be any good to you to know, I might as well tell you.

-      Tommy was in my old regiment; that's how I know all about it. When he was

-      only a subaltern he got mixed up with a girl much beneath him in station.

-      His friends tried to get him out of it, but he was like your friend,

-      pig-headed as the devil. He married her privately, lived with her for a

-      year, found he'd made a fool of himself, and separated for good.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They were divorced?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No such luck,&rdquo; said the General. &ldquo;He can't get rid of her. She's behaving

-      herself properly for the sake of getting the title, and naturally she's

-      not going to divorce him. So that's what comes of marrying in haste,

-      mossoo. Not that there isn't a good deal to be said for a young fellow who

-      has&mdash;er&mdash;a warm heart and wants to do the right thing by the

-      girl, and so forth. I am no Chesterfield, mossoo; right's right and

-      wrong's wrong all the world over, but&mdash;er&mdash;there are limits,

-      don't you know.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Has Major Shafthead any family?&rdquo; I inquired.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; said the General.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then Dick will succeed to the baronetcy one day?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Or his son.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I reflected, &ldquo;I see now why Sir Philip is so stern. He would not

-      have a girl he dislikes the mother of future baronets, and he will not

-      allow the younger son to follow, as he thinks, in the elder's steps.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At first sight this seemed only to increase my difficulties; but as I

-      thought more over it, my spirits began to rise. Yes, I might make out a

-      good case for Dick out of this buried story.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, good-night, mossoo,&rdquo; said the old boy, rising. &ldquo;Good luck to you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And many thanks to you, General.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The next morning broke very cold and gray. We were well advanced in

-      December, and the frost was making us his first visit for the winter;

-      indeed, it was cold enough to give Miss Daisy the opportunity of looking

-      charming in a fur coat when I met her at the station. Dick came to see us

-      off, and I must admit that I felt more responsibility than I quite liked

-      in seeing the cheerful confidence he reposed in me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is but a chance that I can do anything,&rdquo; I reminded him. &ldquo;I may fail.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No fear,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;I expect a pardon by return of post. By-the-way,

-      we got the manor of Helmscote in Edward the Third's time&mdash;Edward the

-      Third, remember&mdash;and the baronetcy after Blenheim. The governor

-      doesn't object to be reminded of that kind of thing if you do it neatly.

-      But you know the trick.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I should rather depend on your sister's eloquence,&rdquo; I suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, she's like me; can't stand on her hind legs and catch cake,&rdquo; laughed

-      Dick. &ldquo;We are plain English.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0107" id="linkimage-0107"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0290.jpg" alt="0290m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0290.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not so very plain,&rdquo; I said to myself, glancing at my travelling

-      companion's fresh little face nestling in a collar of fur.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She was very silent this morning, and I could now see that the experiment

-      of taking down an advocate inspired her with considerably less confidence

-      than it had Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Confess the truth, Miss Shafthead,&rdquo; I said to her, at last. &ldquo;You fear I

-      shall only make bad into worse.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't know what you will do,&rdquo; she replied, with a smile that was rather

-      nervous than encouraging.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Command me, then; I shall say what you please, or hold my tongue, if you

-      prefer it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh no,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;you had better say something&mdash;now that you have

-      come with me; only don't be too sentimental, please.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shall talk turnips till I see my opportunity; then I shall observe

-      coldly that Richard is an affectionate lad in spite of his faults.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Daisy laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I think I hear you,&rdquo; she replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, at least, my jest served to make her a little more at her ease, and

-      we now fell to planning our arrival. She had left a note before she

-      started for town, saying only that she would be away for the night, but

-      giving no intimation of when she might return, so that we expected no

-      carriage at the station. This, we decided, was all the better. We should

-      walk to Helmscote, attract as little notice as possible on entering the

-      house, and then she would find out how the land lay before even announcing

-      my presence; at least, if it were possible to keep me in the background so

-      long.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My father is rather difficult sometimes,&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hasty?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm afraid so.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He may, then, decline to receive me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is quite possible.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The adventure began to assume a more and more formidable aspect. I agreed

-      that great circumspection was required.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At last we alighted at a little way-side station in the heart of the

-      country. We were the only travellers who descended, and when we had come

-      out into a quiet road, and watched the train grow smaller and smaller, and

-      rumble more and more faintly till the arms of the signals had all risen

-      behind it, and the shining steel lines stretched still and uninhabited

-      through the fields, we saw no sign of life beyond a cawing flock of rooks.

-      The sun was bright, the hoar-frost only lay under the shadow of the

-      hedge-rows, and not a breath of wind stirred the bare branches of the

-      trees. After a word of protest I took the fur coat over my arm, and

-      Daisy's bag in my hand, and we set out at a brisk pace to cover the two

-      miles before us.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Presently a sleepy little village appeared ahead of us; before we reached

-      it my guide turned off to the left.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is a little longer round this way,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;but I am afraid the

-      people in the village might&mdash;well&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Exactly,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;We are a secret embassy.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      It was a narrow lane we were now in, winding in the shade of high

-      beech-trees and littered with their brown cast leaves. Whether it was the

-      charm of the place, or that we instinctively delayed the crisis now that

-      it was so near, I cannot say, but gradually our pace slackened.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am afraid they will be rather anxious about me,&rdquo; said Daisy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If they value you as they ought,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She smiled a little, and then, in a minute, we rounded a corner, and she

-      said, &ldquo;That is Helmscote we see through the trees.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I looked, and saw a pile of chimneys and gables close before us and just a

-      little distance removed from the lane. Along that side now ran a high,

-      ancient-looking wall with a single door in it, opposite the house.

-      Evidently this unostentatious postern was a back entrance, and the gates

-      must open into some other road.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My fellow-ambassador paused and glanced in both directions, but there was

-      no sign of any one but ourselves.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I think it will be best if I leave you in the garden,&rdquo; she said, &ldquo;while I

-      go in and find mother.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, I think it will be wise,&rdquo; I answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She took out a key and opened the door in the wall, and I found myself in

-      an old flower-garden screened by a high hedge of evergreens at the farther

-      end.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Give me my coat and bag,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;Many thanks for carrying them. Now

-      just wait here. I shall be as quick as I can.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I lit a cigar and began to pace the gravel path, keeping myself concealed

-      behind the bushes as far as I could. Decidedly this had a flavor of

-      adventure, and the longer I paced, the more did a certain restlessness of

-      nerves grow upon me. I took out my watch. She had been gone ten minutes.

-      Well, after all, I could scarcely expect her to return so soon as that. I

-      paced and smoked again, and again took out my watch. Twenty minutes now,

-      and no sign of my fellow-ambassador. I began to grow impatient and also to

-      feel less the necessity for caution. No one had discovered me so far and

-      no one was likely to; why should I not explore this garden a little

-      farther? I ventured down to the farther end, till I stood behind the

-      hedge. It was charmingly quiet and restful and sunny, with high trees

-      looking over the walls and rooks flapping and cawing about their tops, and

-      a glimpse of the house beyond. This glimpse was so pleasing that I thought

-      I should like to see more, and, spying a garden roller propped against the

-      wall and a niche in the stone above it, I gave a wary look round, and in a

-      moment more had scrambled up till my feet were in the niche and my head

-      looking over the top.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Below me I saw a grass terrace and a broad walk, and beyond these the

-      mansion of Helmscote. No wonder Dick showed a touch of pride and affection

-      when (on very rare occasions, I admit) he had alluded to his home. It was

-      an old brick house of the Tudor period, though some parts were apparently

-      more ancient than that and had been built, I should say, by the first

-      Shafthead who had settled there. The colors&mdash;the red with diagonal

-      designs of black bricks through it, the stone of the mullioned windows,

-      the old tiles on the roof, the gray of the ancient portions, even, I

-      fancied, the green ivy&mdash;had all been softened and harmonized by time

-      and by weather till the whole house had become a rich scheme that would

-      have defied the most cunning painter to imitate it.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know Dick better since I have seen his home,&rdquo; I said to myself. &ldquo;And

-      his sister? Yes, I think I know her better, too, though not so well as I

-      should like to. Pardieu! what has become of her?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; said a voice behind me, &ldquo;what, are you doing there?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0108" id="linkimage-0108"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0295.jpg" alt="0295m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0295.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      I turned with a start, my grip of the wall slipped, and, with more

-      precipitation than grace, I descended to the garden again to find myself

-      confronted by a decidedly formidable individual. He was a gentleman of

-      something over sixty years of age, but tall and broad and upright far

-      beyond the common, and even though his left arm was in a sling of black

-      silk I should not have cared to try conclusions with him. His face was

-      ruddy and fresh, his features aristocratic and well-marked, his eyes blue

-      and very bright, and he was dressed in a shooting-suit and leather

-      leggings. The air of proprietorship, the wounded left arm, and the family

-      resemblance left me in no doubt as to who he was. I was, in fact, about to

-      enjoy the interview with Sir Philip Shafthead for the sake of which I had

-      entered his garden.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet, strange though it may seem, gratitude for this stroke of good luck

-      was not my first sensation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who the devil are you, and what are you doing here, sir?&rdquo; he repeated,

-      sternly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He had not heard of my arrival, then, and on the instant the thought

-      struck me that since he did not know who I was, I might make the

-      experiment of feigning ignorance of him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I address a fellow-guest of Sir Philip's, no doubt? I said, with as easy

-      an air as is possible for a man who has just fallen from the top of a wall

-      where he had no business to have climbed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Fellow-guest!&rdquo; he repeated. &ldquo;Do you mean to pretend you are visiting

-      Helmscote?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am about to; though I confess to you, sir, that Sir Philip is at

-      present unaware of my intention.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Indeed?&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You are doubtless a friend of Sir Philip's, sir?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He emitted something that was between a laugh and an exclamation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;More or less,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;And who are you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My name is d'Haricot, and I am a friend of his son, Dick Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He started perceptibly, and looked at me with a different expression.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have heard your name,&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As you are staying at Helmscote you have no doubt heard of Dick's

-      imprudence?&rdquo; I went on, boldly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have,&rdquo; he replied, shortly. &ldquo;Have you come to see Sir Philip about

-      that?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I have travelled down with Miss Shafthead this morning;

-      she left me here for a short time while she went in to see her parents,

-      and while waiting I had the indiscretion to mount this wall, in order to

-      obtain a better view of the beautiful old house. It is the finest mansion

-      I have seen in England. No wonder, sir, that Dick is so attached to his

-      home!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yet, as you are aware, he has run away from it,&rdquo; said the baronet, dryly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;you have doubtless heard the father's view of his escapade.

-      Will you let me tell you the son's, while I am waiting?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Had you not better keep this for Sir Philip&mdash;that is, if he consents

-      to hear you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I said, eagerly. &ldquo;I have no secrets to tell, and if I can persuade

-      you that Dick has some excuse for his conduct, perhaps you, too, might say

-      a word to Sir Philip in his favor.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is unlikely,&rdquo; said the baronet; &ldquo;but go on.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At that moment I spied Daisy entering the garden, though fortunately her

-      father's back was towards her. Swiftly I made a signal for her to go away,

-      and after an instant's astonished pause she turned and slipped quietly out

-      again. I had been given a better chance than I had dared to hope for.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0109" id="linkimage-0109"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXVIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>At the journey's end a welcome;</i>

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <i>For the wanderer a friend!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Cyd.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0110" id="linkimage-0110"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/9299.jpg" alt="9299m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/9299.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      IR I began, &ldquo;I must tell you, in the first place, that there is this to be

-      said for Dick Shafthead&mdash;and it is an argument he is too generous to

-      use himself&mdash;he took counsel of a friend, who, perhaps rashly, urged

-      him to follow the dictates of his heart.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Indeed?&rdquo; said the baronet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes; I can answer for it, because I was that friend; and that is one of

-      the reasons why I was so eager to plead for him with Sir Philip.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It sounds a damned poor one,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;'May I ask why you advised a son

-      to rebel against his father?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If I had thought his father would regard his marrying the girl he loved

-      as an act of rebellion, I might&mdash;though I do not say I would&mdash;have

-      advised him otherwise. But he had told me that Sir Philip was a man of

-      great sense and understanding; therefore I argued that he would not take a

-      narrow or prejudiced&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Prejudiced!&rdquo; he exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Or a prejudiced view of his son's conduct. I knew he was a good

-      churchman; therefore, as a follower of a Carpenter's Son, he could not

-      seriously let any blemish on a girl's pedigree stand between his son and

-      himself. Besides, he was so highly placed that an alliance with his family

-      would be sufficient to ennoble. Furthermore, as he loves his son, he would

-      wish for nothing so much as his happiness. Lastly, being a great

-      gentleman, Sir Philip would give a lady's case every consideration.&rdquo; But

-      at this the baronet's feelings could no longer be contained.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By God, sir!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;Do you mean to say you preached this

-      damnable sermon to my&mdash;to Dick Shafthead?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I had not preached this sermon, nor anything very much like it; but these

-      were undoubted the arguments I ought to have used.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I argued from what he had told me of his father,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;If I am

-      incorrect in my estimate of Sir Philip; if he is not a Christian, a

-      gentleman, an affectionate father, and a man of sense, then, indeed, I

-      reasoned wrongly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this thrust beneath his guard, Sir Philip was silent, and I hastened to

-      follow up my attack.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Another argument I used&mdash;and it seemed to me the strongest&mdash;was

-      this: that as Dick had told me of the deep affection Sir Philip felt for

-      Lady Shafthead, I knew his father had a heart which could love a woman

-      devotedly, and he had but to turn back the pages of his own life to find

-      himself reading the same words as his son.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sir Philip loved a lady of his own degree and station,&rdquo; he answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And Dick a relative of that lady,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;A girl with the same blood in

-      her veins, and a character which no one can impeach. Can Sir Philip?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Her character is beside the point,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick's father would not say so of his son's wife,&rdquo; I retorted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Again the baronet seemed at a loss for a fitting answer; and from his

-      expression I think he was on the point of revealing his identity, and

-      sending me forthwith to the devil; but without a pause I hurried up the

-      rest of my artillery.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Even if Sir Philip remains deaf to all that I have hitherto said, there

-      yet remains this, which must, at least, make him pause. He will be losing

-      a son.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And the son will be losing his father.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes; and therefore Sir Philip will not only be suffering, but inflicting

-      a misfortune.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I may remind you, sir, that Dick has only to listen to reason.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dick's mind is made up; and can you, sir, who know these Shaftheads,

-      expect them to abandon their resolutions so easily? From whom has he

-      inherited his firmness and tenacity? From his father, of course; and he

-      from that long line of ancestors who have made the name of Shafthead

-      honorable since the days of Edward the Third! The warrior who was ennobled

-      on the field of Blenheim has not left descendants of milk and water!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am perfectly aware that Dick is obstinate as the devil,&rdquo; replied the

-      baronet, but this time in a tone that seemed to have in it a trace of

-      something not unlike satisfaction.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And so, sir, his father will be ruthlessly discarding a second

-      daughter-in-law.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At these words the change that came over the baronet was so sudden and

-      violent that I almost repented of having uttered them.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you mean?&rdquo; he exclaimed, in a stifled voice. &ldquo;Dick didn't tell

-      you? He does not know!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;I learned it through an old companion in arms of Major

-      Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment there was a pause. Then he said, in a steadier voice:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And does this seem to you an argument for permitting another son to

-      commit an act of folly?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It does seem an argument for not breaking the last link with the

-      generation to come.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The baronet turned round and walked a few paces away from me; then he

-      turned back and said:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir, if it is any satisfaction to you, I may tell you that you have

-      already discharged your task. I am Sir Philip Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in simulated surprise. &ldquo;Then I must indeed ask your

-      pardon for the freedom with which I have spoken. My affection for your son

-      is my only excuse.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is fortunate in his friends, sir,&rdquo; said Sir Philip, though with

-      precisely what significance I could not be sure. &ldquo;You will now have

-      luncheon with us, I hope.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We walked in silence to the house, my host's face expressing nothing of

-      what he thought or felt.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In a long, low room whose oak panelling and beams were black with age and

-      whose windows tinged the sunshine with the colors of old coats of arms, I

-      was introduced to Lady Shafthead. She was like her daughter, smaller and

-      slighter than the muscular race of Shaftheads, gray-haired and very

-      charming and simple in her manner. Daisy stood beside her, and both women

-      glanced anxiously from one to the other of us. What those who knew him

-      could read in Sir Philip's countenance, I cannot say. For myself, I merely

-      professed my entire readiness for lunch and my appreciation of Helmscote,

-      but, surreptitiously catching Daisy's eye, I gave her a glance that was

-      intended to indicate a fair possibility of fine weather.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Evidently she read it as such, for she replied by a smile from which all

-      her distrust had vanished.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The meal passed off in outward calm and with no reference to the

-      conversation of the morning. Indeed, Sir Philip scarcely spoke at all, and

-      I was too afraid of making a discordant remark to say much myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You will excuse me from joining you in the smoking-room at present,&rdquo; said

-      the baronet, when we had finished. &ldquo;Daisy, you will act as hostess,

-      perhaps?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Nothing could have suited me better than this arrangement, and for an hour

-      we discussed our embassy and its prospects with the friendliness of two

-      intimates who have shared an adventure.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then Lady Shafthead entered and said with a smile towards us both,

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sir Philip has written to Dick.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is forgiven?&rdquo; I cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is told to come home.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Alone?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, alone.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      My face fell for a little, but Lady Shafthead's air reassured me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;For the present, at all events, alone,&rdquo; she said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And may the present be brief!&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;And now his ambassador must

-      regretfully return to town.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, but you are staying with us, I hope,&rdquo; said Lady Shafthead.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;With one collar, a tweed suit, and no razors?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Can't you send for your things?&rdquo; suggested Daisy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And that is precisely what I did.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The next day the prodigal returned and had a long interview with his stern

-      parent. At the end of it he joined me in the smoking-room.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An armistice is declared,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;For six months the matter is not

-      to be mentioned.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And that is all?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All at present.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But six months, Dick! Can you wait?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Call it three weeks,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I know the limit to the governor's

-      patience. He never let a matter remain unsettled for one month in his

-      life.&rdquo; He filled his pipe deliberately, standing with his legs wide apart

-      and his broad back to the fire, while an expression of amused satisfaction

-      gathered upon his good-looking countenance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; he remarked, abruptly, &ldquo;don't think I'm ungrateful. You did the

-      trick, monsieur, and I won't forget it in a hurry.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      As he said this he turned his back to me and took a match-box from the

-      mantel-shelf, as though he had merely made a casual remark about the

-      weather, but by this time I knew the value of such undemonstrative British

-      thanks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Another condition that Sir Philip had made was that his son should not

-      return to London until the Christmas vacation was over, and, though this

-      was a matter of merely two or three weeks, Dick found it harder than a six

-      months' postponement of his marriage. But to me, I fear, it did not seem

-      so unreasonable, for, as he could not have his sweetheart's company, he

-      insisted on retaining mine; so, after a polite protest, which Lady

-      Shafthead declared to be unnecessary and Daisy to be absurd, I settled

-      down to spend my Christmas at Helmscote.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At that time there was no one else staying in the house, so that when I

-      sat down at dinner that night, one of a friendly company of five, I felt

-      almost as though I was a member of the family. And the Shaftheads, on

-      their part, seemed bent on increasing this illusion. Once I cheerfully

-      alluded to my exile&mdash;cheerfully, because at that moment the thought

-      had no sting.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An exile?&rdquo; said Lady Shafthead, smiling at me as a good mother might

-      smile. &ldquo;Not here, surely. You must not feel yourself an exile here.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And, indeed, I did not. For the first time since I landed in this country,

-      I felt no trace of strangeness, but almost as though I had begun to take

-      root in the soil. Circumstances had not enabled me to enjoy any family

-      life since I was a boy, and had I been given at that moment a free pardon

-      and a ticket to Paris, I should have said, &ldquo;Wait, please, for a few

-      months, till I discover to which nation I really do belong. Here I am at

-      home. Perhaps, if I return, I should now be lonely.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The very look of my room when I retired to bed impressed me further with

-      this feeling. The fire was so bright, the curtains so warm, every little

-      circumstance so soothing. I drew up the blind and looked out of a latticed

-      casement-window into a garden bathed in moonlight, and my heart was filled

-      with gratitude. Last thing before I went to sleep, I remember seeing the

-      firelight playing on the walls and mingling with a long ray from the moon,

-      and the fantastic designs seemed to form themselves into letters making a

-      message of welcome. And this message was signed &ldquo;Daisy Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At what hour I woke I cannot say; but I felt as though I had not been long

-      asleep, and that something must have roused me. The fire had burned low,

-      but the long beam of moonlight still fell across my bed and made a patch

-      of light on the opposite wall. Suddenly it was obscured, and at the same

-      moment I most distinctly heard a noise&mdash;a noise at the window. I

-      turned on my pillow with that curious sensation in my breast that by the

-      metaphysical may easily be distinguished from exhilaration. I had left the

-      curtains a little apart with an oblong of blind showing light between

-      them. Now there was a dark body moving stealthily either before or behind

-      this.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment I lay still, then, with a spring so violent as almost to

-      suggest that I had exercised some compulsion upon my movements, I leaped

-      out of bed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0111" id="linkimage-0111"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0308.jpg" alt="0308m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0308.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      The next instant the body had disappeared, and I heard a scraping noise,

-      apparently on the outside wall. I rushed to the window and drew aside the

-      blind. The casement was certainly open, but then I had left it so. I put

-      out my head and looked carefully over the garden. Not a movement anywhere,

-      not a sound. I waited for a time, but nothing more happened, and then I

-      went to bed again, first, I confess, closing and fastening the window; and

-      in a little the whole incident was lost in oblivion.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With the prosaic entry of daylight and a servant to fill my bath, I began

-      to wonder whether the whole thing was not a dream, and, in fact, I had

-      almost persuaded myself that this was the case when I spied, lying on the

-      floor below the window, a slip of paper. It was folded and addressed in

-      pencil to &ldquo;<i>M. d'Haricot, confidential.</i>&rdquo; I opened it and read these

-      words:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Beware how you betray! Lumme also is watched. Therefore be faithful,

-      if it is not too late!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What the devil!&rdquo; I said to myself, after reading these incomprehensible

-      words two or three times. &ldquo;Is this a practical joke&mdash;or can it be

-      from&mdash;?&rdquo; I hastily turned the scrap over, looked at it upside down,

-      and against the light, but no, there was no mark to give me a clew.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      So meaningless did the warning seem that before the day was far spent it

-      had ceased to trouble me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0112" id="linkimage-0112"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0029" id="link2HCH0029"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXIX

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Enter Tritculento brandishing a rapier. Ordnance shot off 'without.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Old Stage Direction.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0113" id="linkimage-0113"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9311.jpg" alt="9311 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9311.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HAT day slipped by smoothly and swiftly as a draught of some delicious

-      opiate, and every moment my fancy became anchored more securely to

-      Helmscote. But upon the next morning I received a letter from my Halfred

-      which, though it amused and moved me by the good fellow's own happiness,

-      yet contained one perplexing piece of news. I give the epistle in his own

-      words and spelling.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>DEAR Sir,&mdash;Hopping the close reached you safely i added the

-      waterprove coat for shooting in rain supposing such happened. Miss Titch

-      has concented to marry me some day but not now you being sir the objec of

-      my attentions for the present hence i am happy beyond expression also she

-      is and i hop you approve sir. Another package has come for Mister Balfour

-      not to be oppened and marked u d t which Mr. Titch says means undertake to

-      return but I have done nothing hopping I am right yours obediently ALFRED

-      WINKES.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No, Halfred, U. D. T. did not mean &ldquo;Undertake to return,&rdquo; but bore a much

-      graver significance, and this news made me so thoughtful that at least one

-      pair of bright eyes remarked it at breakfast.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No bad news, I hope,&rdquo; said Daisy, as we went together to the door to

-      inspect the weather.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;None that you cannot make me forget,&rdquo; I replied, with a more serious

-      gallantry than I had yet shown towards her.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A little rise of color in her face did indeed make me forget all less

-      absorbing matters.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By the time you leave us, you perhaps won't find us still so consoling,&rdquo;

-       she replied, with a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Don't remind me of that day,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;It is a long way off&mdash;a

-      hundred years, I try to persuade myself!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Little did I think how soon fate would laugh at my confidence.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      To-day we were to shoot pheasants. The baronet had his arm out of the

-      sling for the first time, and this so raised his spirits that I felt sure

-      Dick's six months' probation were already divided by two, at least. Two

-      friends were coming from a neighboring house, and the other gun was to be

-      my second, Tonks, who was expected to stay for the night. Presently he

-      appeared and greeted me with a friendly grin.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You haven't got Lumme to fire at to-day,&rdquo; he remarked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I drew him aside.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tonks,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;that incident is forgotten&mdash;also the cause of it.

-      You understand?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He had the uncomfortable perspicacity to glance over at Daisy as he

-      replied:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Right O; I won't spoil any one's sport.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This game of pheasant-shooting is played in England with that gravity and

-      seriousness that the Briton displays in all his sports. No preparations

-      are wanting, no precautions omitted. You stand in a specially prepared

-      opening in a specially grown plantation, while a specially trained company

-      of beaters scientifically drive towards you several hundred artificially

-      incubated birds invigorated by a patent pheasant food. Owing to the

-      regulated height of the trees and the measured distance at which you stand

-      these birds pass over you at such a height (and, owing to the qualities of

-      the patent food, at such a pace), and the shot is rendered what they call

-      &ldquo;sporting.&rdquo; Then, at a certain distance from his gun and a certain angle,

-      the skilful marksman discharges both barrels, converts two pheasants into

-      collapsed bundles of feathers, snatches a second gun from an attendant,

-      and in precisely similar fashion accounts for two more. The flight of the

-      bird is so calculated that the bad shot has little chance of hitting

-      anything at all, so that the pheasant may return to his coop and be

-      preserved intact for another day. When such a shot is firing, you will

-      hear the host anxiously say to the keeper at the end of the day: &ldquo;Did he

-      miss them all clean?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And if the answer is in the affirmative, he will add:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Excellent! I shall ask him to shoot again.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      A clean miss or a clean kill&mdash;that is what is demanded in order that

-      you may strictly obey the rules of the sport, and at my first stand, where

-      I was able to exhibit five severed tails, a mangled mass which had

-      received both barrels at three paces, and seven swiftly running invalids,

-      my enthusiasm was quickly damped by the face Sir Philip pulled on hearing

-      my prowess.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Never mind,&rdquo; said Daisy, who had come to see the sport, &ldquo;you couldn't

-      expect to get into it just at first.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Come and give me instruction,&rdquo; I implored her. &ldquo;Don't be in such a

-      hurry!&rdquo; she cried, as she stood beside me at the next beat. &ldquo;Look before

-      you shoot&mdash;that's what Dick always says you ought to do. Now you've

-      forgotten to put in your&mdash;wait! Of course! No wonder nothing

-      happened; you had forgotten to put in the cartridges. Steady, now. Oh, but

-      don't wait till it's past you! Dick says&mdash;Good shot! Was that the

-      bird you aimed at?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mademoiselle, it was the bird a far-seeing Providence placed within the

-      radius of my shot. 'L'homme propose; Dieu dispose.'&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I shouldn't trust to Providence <i>too</i> much,&rdquo; said she.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, between Heaven and Miss Shafthead, aided, I must say for myself, by

-      a hand and eye that were naturally quick and not unaccustomed to exercises

-      of skill, I managed by the end of the day to successfully uphold the honor

-      of my country. The light was fading when we stopped the battue, the air

-      was sharp, and the ground crisp with frost. My fair adviser had gone home

-      a little time before, and, wrapped in pleasant recollections and

-      meditations, I had fallen some way behind the others as we walked homeward

-      across a stubble-field. The guns in front passed out through a gate into a

-      lane, and I was just following them when a man stepped from the shadow of

-      the hedge and said to me:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A gentleman would speak to you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I looked at him in astonishment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He was an absolute stranger, and his manner was serious and impressive.

-      Behind him, in the opposite direction from that in which my friends had

-      turned, stood a covered carriage, with another man wrapped in a cloak a

-      few paces in front of it, and a third individual holding the horse's head.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is the gentleman,&rdquo; added the stranger, indicating the man in the

-      cloak.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In considerable surprise I turned towards the carriage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. d'Haricot,&rdquo; said the shrouded individual.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis!&rdquo; I cried, in astonishment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was indeed none other than he whom I have before mentioned under the

-      name of F. II, secretary of the league, conspirator by instinct and

-      profession, by rank and name the Marquis de la Carrabasse.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What are you doing here, my dear Marquis?&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He regarded me with a fixed and searching expression.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The hour is ripe,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;The moment has come to strike! Here is my

-      carriage. Come!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For a moment I was too astonished to reply. Then, in a reasonable tone, I

-      said:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon, Marquis, but I must first take leave of my hosts.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You cannot.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That is to be seen,&rdquo; I replied, losing my temper a little.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Before I could make a movement the Marquis was covering me with a

-      revolver, and from the corner of my eye I could see that the man who had

-      first spoken to me had drawn one, too.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Enter the carriage,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;I do not trust you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0114" id="linkimage-0114"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0317.jpg" alt="0317m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0317.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Since you give me no alternative between a somewhat prolonged rest in

-      this ditch and the pleasure of your society, I shall choose the latter,&rdquo; I

-      replied, with as light an air as possible. &ldquo;But I warn you, Marquis, that

-      this conduct requires an explanation.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He continued to look sternly at me, holding his revolver to my head, but

-      making no reply, while, in as easy a fashion as possible, I strolled up to

-      the carriage.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then, to my surprise, I saw that they had employed one of the beaters to

-      hold their horse, a man whom I recognized at once as having carried my

-      cartridge-bag.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You may now go,&rdquo; said the Marquis to this man, handing him coin. &ldquo;And for

-      your own sake be silent!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I could have laughed aloud at the delightful simplicity of thus hiring a

-      stranger at random to aid in an abduction and then expecting him to keep

-      his counsel, had I not seen in it an omen of further failures. So certain

-      was I that the news of my departure would now reach Helmscote before night

-      that I did not even trouble to send a message by him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The man who had first spoken to me jumped upon the box and took the reins,

-      the Marquis and I entered the carriage, and through the dusk of that

-      winter evening I was carried off from Helmscote.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Now, M. le Marquis,&rdquo; I said, sternly, &ldquo;have the goodness to explain your

-      words and conduct to me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He looked at me intently for a moment and then answered:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;On your honor, are you still faithful?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you mean, monsieur?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Lumme has not betrayed us?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Lumme!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in astonishment, and then suddenly remembered the

-      warning paper. &ldquo;Did you throw that paper into my bedroom?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An agent threw it for me. Did you obey the warning?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Again I must ask for an explanation. What has M. Lumme to do with it and

-      what do you suspect me of?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. Lumme is in the English Foreign Office,&rdquo; said the Marquis, with

-      emphasis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0115" id="linkimage-0115"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0319.jpg" alt="0319m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0319.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And you suspect me of having betrayed my cause to him? On my honor,

-      monsieur, even were I inclined to treason I should as soon think of

-      confiding in that man whom you so rashly employed to hold your horse!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sir Shafthead is in the English government.&rdquo; said the Marquis, unmoved by

-      my sarcasm.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Sir Philip Shafthead was at one time a member of Parliament, but is so no

-      longer. But what of that?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have told him nothing?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have not.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have been watched,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;Every movement you have made is known

-      to me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And why?&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;Why should you think it necessary to watch me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why did you not send me any report yourself?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You did not ask for one.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I had not the honor to be informed of your address,&rdquo; said he.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I wrote to you as soon as I was settled in London, and to this day have

-      never received a reply.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You wrote?&rdquo; he exclaimed, with some sign of disturbance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did, I repeated, and I quoted some words I remembered from my letter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon!&rdquo; said the Marquis, &ldquo;I do remember now receiving that letter, but

-      I must have mislaid it, and I certainly forgot that you had written.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And, having forgotten an important communication, you proceed to suspect

-      me of treason! This is excellent, M. le Marquis!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear friend,&rdquo; he replied, in an agitated voice, &ldquo;you then assure me I

-      was wrong in mistrusting you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Absolutely!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon me, my friend! I am overwhelmed with confusion!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He was so genuinely distressed, and the sincerity of his contrition was so

-      apparent, that what could I do but forgive him? But what carelessness,

-      what waste of time in dogging the steps of a friend, what indications of

-      mismanagement at every turn! And even at that moment I was apparently

-      embarked under this leader upon some secret and hazardous undertaking.

-      Well, there was nothing for it but to do my best so far as I was

-      concerned.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, here is the station,&rdquo; said he. &ldquo;The train should now be almost due.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Train for London, sir?&rdquo; said the porter. &ldquo;Gone ten minutes ago. No, sir,

-      no more trains tonight.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Peste!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;Ah, well, my friend, we must look for some

-      lodging for the night.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But perhaps we might catch a train at another station,&rdquo; I suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, by driving ten miles we could just catch an express.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Bravo!&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;You are full of ideas, my dear d'Haricot.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And you?&rdquo; I said to myself, with a shrug.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We arrived just in time, and on the platform were joined by our driver.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let me introduce Mr. Hankey,&rdquo; said the Marquis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      So this was the elusive Hankey. Well, I shall not take the trouble to

-      describe him. Imagine a scoundrel, and you have his portrait. I was

-      thankful he did not travel in the same compartment with us, but evidently

-      regarded himself as in an inferior position.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You trust that man implicitly?&rdquo; I asked the Marquis, when we had started.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Implicitly!&rdquo; he replied, with emphasis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I do not,&rdquo; I said to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      By ten o'clock that night I was seated with the Marquis de la Carrabasse

-      in my own rooms, thinking, I must confess, not so much of politics and

-      dynasties as of the friends I had just lost for who could say how long.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0116" id="linkimage-0116"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0030" id="link2HCH0030"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXX

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Conspiracy requireth a ready wit&mdash;and a readier exit</i>.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Francis Gallup.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0117" id="linkimage-0117"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9323.jpg" alt="9323 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9323.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HE Marquis de la Carrabasse, secretary of the U. D. T.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      League, and known in their circles as F. II, enters this history so near

-      its end that I shall not stop to give a prolonged account of him. Yet he

-      was a person so remarkable as to merit a few words of description. The

-      inheritor of an ancient title, but little money; a Royalist to the point

-      of fanaticism; a man of wide culture and many ideas, and of the most

-      perfect simplicity of character and honesty of purpose, he had devoted his

-      whole life to the restoration of the monarchy, alternated during lulls in

-      the political weather by an equally feverish zeal for scientific

-      inventions of the most ambitious nature. Yet, owing to the excess of his

-      enthusiasm and fertility of mind over the more prosaic qualities that

-      should regulate them, practical success had hitherto eluded this talented

-      nobleman. His flying-machines had only once risen into the element for

-      which they were intended, and then the subsequent descent had been so

-      precipitate as to incapacitate the inventor for a month. His submarine

-      vessel still reposed at the bottom of the Mediterranean, and the last I

-      heard of his dynamite gun was that the fragments were to be found anywhere

-      within a radius of three miles around its first discharge. As to his

-      merits as a conspirator, my exile bears witness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet he was a man for whom I could not but entertain a lively affection. Of

-      medium height and slender figure, he had a large, well-shaped nose, a

-      black mustache tinged with gray, whose vigorously upward curl had a

-      deceptively truculent air at first sight, and a splendid dark eye, at

-      times piercing and bright and at others dreamy as the eye of a

-      somnambulist. Add to this a manner naturally courteous and simple, which,

-      however, he was in the habit of artificially altering to one of decision

-      and mystery, when he thought the rôle he was playing suited this

-      transfiguration, and you have the Marquis de la Carrabasse, so far as I

-      can sketch him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      We had only just seated ourselves in my room, when Halfred entered beaming

-      with pleasure at the prospect of seeing me again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'Appy to see you back, sir,&rdquo; he began, joyfully.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A most hunexpected pleasure, sir. I thought as 'ow you wasn't comin' till

-      hafter the festivities of Christmas, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But at this point his eye fell upon my friend the Marquis, and his

-      expression changed in the drollest manner. Halfred's British prejudices

-      had become adjusted to me by this time, but evidently the very appearance

-      of this stranger was altogether too foreign for him. He became abnormally

-      solemn, and handed me a budget of letters that had come this evening, with

-      no further comment, while his eye plainly said, &ldquo;Have a care what company

-      you keep!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      In the mean time my guest had been regarding him with a rapt and

-      thoughtful gaze, and now he said, in the most execrable English:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Vill you please get me a bread or biskeet?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Bread, sir?&rdquo; replied Halfred, starting and looking hard at him. &ldquo;Slice of

-      'am with it?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What did he say?&rdquo; the Marquis asked me, in French.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I explained.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, yes; some pork; certain! Vich it vill also quite good and so to be.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0118" id="linkimage-0118"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0326.jpg" alt="0326m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0326.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      What he meant by this riddle I cannot tell; but I can assure you he sent

-      the honest Halfred from the room with a very perturbed countenance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In a few minutes he had brought us some much-needed refreshments, and,

-      with a last dark glance towards my unconscious visitor, retired for the

-      night.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      On our journey the Marquis had kept his counsel with that air of mystery

-      he could assume so effectively, nor had I pressed him with questions; but

-      when our hunger was somewhat abated I began to consider it time that I was

-      taken into his confidence. For I had gathered enough to feel sure that

-      some coup was very shortly to be tried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;have you nothing to tell me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;First, my dear friend, read your letters,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But they can wait.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I beseech you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      A little struck by his tone, I opened the first, and as I read the

-      contents I could not refrain from an exclamation of astonishment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have unexpected news?&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;'The Bishop of Battersea has much pleasure in accepting M. d'Haricot's

-      kind invitation.'&rdquo; I read, aloud. &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I am to have a bishop to

-      dinner in three days' time; and a bishop I have never invited!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you sure?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Positive!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Read your other letters. Possibly they will throw light upon this.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I opened the next, and cried in bewilderment: &ldquo;Sir Henry Horley has much

-      pleasure also! But I have never asked him; I have only met him once at a

-      country house!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The Marquis smiled.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do not be too sure you have not asked these gentlemen,&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I swear&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Read this!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He handed me an invitation-card on which, to my utter consternation, I saw

-      these words engraved: &ldquo;Monsieur d'Haricot requests the pleasure of&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;&mdash;company

-      to dinner to meet&mdash;&rdquo; and here followed a name it would be indecorous

-      to reproduce in these frivolous memoirs, the name of that royal personage

-      for whose cause we loyalists of France were striving!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;It is true?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That <i>he</i> is to honor me with his company?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Scarcely, my dear d'Haricot,&rdquo; said the Marquis, with a smile. &ldquo;But I have

-      full authority to take what steps I choose.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To employ this ruse?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Certainly, if I deem it advisable.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But to what end?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Listen!&rdquo; said he, his dark eyes glowing with enthusiasm and his face

-      lighting up with patriotic ardor. &ldquo;I have asked a party of your most

-      influential friends to dine with you, inducing them by a prospect of this

-      honor. You will tell them that his Highness cannot meet them there, but

-      that he bids them, as they reverence their own sovereign, to assist his

-      righteous cause. When they are inflamed with ardor, you will lead them

-      from the table to the special train which I shall have waiting. A picked

-      force will place themselves under our orders. By next morning the King

-      shall be proclaimed in France.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For a minute I was too staggered to answer him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But, my dear Marquis,&rdquo; I replied, when I had recovered my breath, &ldquo;<i>I</i>

-      cannot induce these sober and law-abiding Englishmen to follow me, perhaps

-      to battle.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not all, perhaps, but some, certainly. My dear friend, you have the gift

-      of tongues; you can move, persuade, influence to admiration. I myself

-      would try, but you know the English language better, I think, than I, and

-      then I am unknown to these gentlemen. Ah, you will not desert us,

-      d'Haricot! Your King demands this service of you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes; he mentioned your name when I spoke to him of our schemes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He wished me to perform this act?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I had not then arranged it. But is it for you to choose the nature of

-      your service?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If it is put to me thus, I shall endeavor to do my best,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But

-      I confess I do not care for this scheme of yours.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No use in protesting; the Marquis rose and embraced me with such

-      flattering words as I hesitate to reproduce.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is done! It is accomplished already!&rdquo; he cried.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I disengaged myself and endeavored to reflect. &ldquo;This is all very well,&rdquo; I

-      said. &ldquo;But of what use to us is a bishop?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We wish the support of the English Church.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And Sir Henry Horley?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Also of the nobility.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But he is scarcely a nobleman, only a baronet,&rdquo; I explained. &ldquo;And,

-      besides, I only know him slightly. He is not my friend.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Embrace him; make him your friend.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I fancied I saw myself; but what was the good in arguing with an

-      enthusiasm like this?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I proceeded to read my other answers, and I did not know whether to feel

-      more astonished at the list of guests or at the curious knowledge of my

-      movements and acquaintances which my visitor must somehow have acquired.

-      The acceptances included Lord Thane, with whom I had only the very

-      slightest acquaintance, Mr. Alderman Guffin, at whose house I had once

-      dined, one or two people of social position whom I had met through Lumme

-      or Shafthead, and General Sholto.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah, the General!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Well, he, at least, is an old soldier.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Be kind to him; he is our brightest hope,&rdquo; said the Marquis.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I looked at him in astonishment. &ldquo;What do you know of him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I could have sworn he blushed. &ldquo;What do I not know of all your friends?&rdquo;

-       he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Could it be from the inquiries of Hankey he had learned all this, and took

-      so much interest in my gallant neighbor? I remembered now how the General

-      had once met that disreputable individual. Yet it did not seem to me

-      altogether a complete explanation.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But conceive of my astonishment when, among the few refusals, I found one

-      from Fisher!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you know of him?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is a philanthropist. I regret that he cannot accept,&rdquo; said the

-      Marquis, with an air of calm mystery yet with another suggestion of flush

-      in his face. He knew of my philanthropic escapade, then&mdash;and how?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; I said, at last, &ldquo;I am prepared to assist you in any way I can. In

-      the two days left I shall arrange my affairs&mdash;and now I must send

-      some explanation of my disappearance to Lady Shafthead.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He rose and grasped my arm.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not a word to her,&rdquo; he said. &ldquo;I do not trust the member of Parliament. We

-      must run no risk.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I protested, but no; he implored me&mdash;commanded me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A line to my friend Dick Shafthead, then?&rdquo; I suggested. &ldquo;He, at least, is

-      beyond suspicion.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My friend, we are serving the King,&rdquo; he replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Very well,&rdquo; I said, though my heart sank a little at this sudden rupture

-      with those kind friends.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      My visitor rose to depart, and just then his eye fell on two immense

-      packing-cases placed against the wall.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;they are safe, I see.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I took a lamp in my hand and came up to examine the latest arrived of

-      those mysterious gifts, whose source I now plainly perceived.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I should not let that lamp fall upon this box of bonbons,&rdquo; he remarked,

-      lightly, and yet with a note of warning.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why not, Marquis?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The little packet may explode,&rdquo; he laughed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Involuntarily I started.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It contains, then&mdash;?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The munitions of war,&rdquo; he answered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And the other?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Was to try you, my dear friend. It contains only bricks. Forgive me for

-      putting you to this test. I should not have doubted you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But to try me?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;How would you have known if I had called in a

-      detective?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The Marquis looked at me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I had not thought of that,&rdquo; he confessed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It was my turn to look at him, and, I fear, not altogether with a

-      flattering eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why was it addressed to Mr. Balfour?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A ruse,&rdquo; he replied, with his air of confident mystery returning

-      somewhat. &ldquo;A mere ruse, my dear friend.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I perceive,&rdquo; I said, a little dryly. &ldquo;Well, you can trust me for my own

-      sake not to explode this box; also to make the preparations for this

-      dinner.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My friend, I make them.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Read your invitation again.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I looked at the card sent out in my name, and then I noticed that an

-      address was placed in one corner, &ldquo;Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What is the meaning of this?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is a house I have hired for two weeks,&rdquo; he replied. &ldquo;The dinner, as

-      you see, takes place there. Hankey and I make all preparations.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I do nothing?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You prepare yourself for the hour of action. Brave friend, au revoir!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Au revoir, Marquis.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0119" id="linkimage-0119"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0031" id="link2HCH0031"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXXI

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>So you are actuated by the best motives? Poor devil! Have you tried

-      strychnine?</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;La Rabide.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0120" id="linkimage-0120"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9334.jpg" alt="9334 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9334.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HE next morning I called in Mr. and Mrs. Titch, Aramatilda, and Halfred,

-      and, in a voice from which I could not altogether banish my emotion, I

-      told them that I must give up my rooms and that they might never see me

-      again. From Halfred's manner I could not but suspect he was prepared for

-      ominous news; he had evidently concluded that a man who introduced after

-      dark such a visitor as I had entertained last night must stand on the

-      brink either of insanity or crime. Yet his stoical look as he heard my

-      announcement said, better than words: &ldquo;You may disgust my judgment, but

-      you cannot shake my fidelity. Through all your errors I am prepared to

-      stand by you, and brush your trousers even on the morning of your

-      execution.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Mr. Titch's sorrow was, I fear, somewhat tinctured by regret at the loss

-      of a profitable tenant, though I am sure it was none the less sincere on

-      that account.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What 'as to 'appen, 'as to come about, as it were, sir,&rdquo; he said,

-      clearing his throat for a further flight of imagery. &ldquo;You will 'ave our

-      good wishes even in furrin parts, if I may say so, which people which has

-      been there tells me is enjoyable to such as knows the language, and 'as

-      the good fortune for to be able to digest their vittles. We will 'old your

-      memory, sir, in respectful hestimation, and forward letters as may be

-      required.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Mrs. Titch being, as I have said before, a lady of no ideas and a kindly

-      heart, confined her remarks to observing:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;As Mr. Titch says, what has to be is such as we will hendeavor to

-      hestimate regretfully, sir.&rdquo; As for Aramatilda, she looked as though she

-      would have spoken very kindly, indeed, had the occasion been more private.

-      That, at least, was the sentiment which a wide experience enabled me to

-      read in her brown eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear Miss Titch,&rdquo; I said to her, &ldquo;I leave you in good hands. Next to

-      having the felicity myself, I should sooner see you solaced by my good

-      friend Halfred than by any one I can think of.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, sir,&rdquo; she replied, with a most becoming blush, &ldquo;you are very kind.

-      But that won't be till you don't require him no longer.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Right you are,&rdquo; said her lover, regarding her with an approving eye. &ldquo;And

-      Mr. d'Haricot ain't done with me yet.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I fear that I shall be in two days more,&rdquo; I replied, with a sadness that

-      brought a sympathetic tear to Aramatilda's eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That's to be seen, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, with resolution.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Well, I dismissed these good people with a sadder heart than I cared to

-      allow, and had turned to arranging my papers and collecting my bills, when

-      I was interrupted by the entry of the Marquis in person.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      He was busy, he told me, busy about many things; and his manner was

-      mystery itself. Yet even a conspirator is human, and evidently he had

-      other interests in London besides our plot. From one or two sighs and

-      tender allusions I shrewdly guessed the nature of these.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are not in love?&rdquo; he asked me, suddenly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In love!&rdquo; I exclaimed, in astonishment, for his previous sentence, though

-      uttered with a melancholy air, had referred to the merits of a new rifle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In love with a dark lady?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I started. Could he refer to Kate? Yes, of course, now I come to think of

-      it, he or his agents must have seen us together.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, Marquis, I give you my word I am not in love either with black or

-      brown,&rdquo; I answered, gayly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am glad, my dear friend,&rdquo; he replied, &ldquo;for I would not do you an

-      injury.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;An injury?&rdquo; I exclaimed, with a laugh. &ldquo;Would you be my rival?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, no,&rdquo; he said, though with some confusion. &ldquo;I meant, my friend, that I

-      would not like to tear you from her.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The conspirator must conspire,&rdquo; I said, with a smile.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;True; true, indeed,&rdquo; he replied, with a sigh.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Used as I was to the complex nature of my friend, I could not help

-      thinking that this was indeed a sentimental mood for one who was about to

-      undertake as mad and desperate an enterprise as ever patriot devised.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;To-morrow morning I shall not be available,&rdquo; he told me as he left; &ldquo;but

-      after that&mdash;the King!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You do not, then, prepare my dinner to-morrow morning?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No, monsieur, not in the morning.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      By that night I had made the few preparations that were necessary before

-      striking my tent and leaving England, perhaps forever. The next day found

-      me idle and restless, and suddenly I said to myself:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The most embarrassing part of this wild enterprise is being thrown upon

-      me. I want a friend by my side, and if the Marquis de la Carrabasse

-      objects, let the devil take him!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Ah, if I could have summoned Dick Shafthead!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But, having undertaken not to do this, I selected that excellent

-      sportsman, his cousin Teddy Lumme. His courage I had proved, his wisdom I

-      felt sure was not sufficient to deter him from mixing himself up with the

-      business, and as for any harm coming to him, I promised myself to see that

-      he did not accompany me too far.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I went to him, and having sworn him to secrecy, I told him of the dinner,

-      he, of course, knew that his father, the venerable bishop, was to be of

-      the party, and when he heard the part that the guests were afterwards

-      expected to play you should have seen his face.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course they will not listen to me for a moment,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;The idea is

-      absurd. But I am bound to carry out my instructions, and afterwards to

-      start upon this reckless expedition myself. I only ask you, as my friend,

-      to come to the dinner, and keep me in countenance, and afterwards take my

-      farewells to your cousins&mdash;I should say, to all my English friends.

-      Will you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Like a shot,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;I wouldn't miss the fun for anything. By Jove!

-      I think I see my governor's face! I say, you Frenchies are good,

-      old-fashioned sportsmen. You're going to swim the channel, of course?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      His mirth, I confess, jarred a little upon me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am serving my King,&rdquo; I reminded him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I know, I'd do the same myself if these dashed Radicals got into

-      power over here. A man can't be too loyal, I always say. All right; I'll

-      come. What time?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Eight o'clock.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      In the afternoon a decidedly disquieting incident occurred. Much more to

-      my surprise than pleasure, I received a brief visit from Mr. Hankey. I had

-      disliked the thought of this individual ever since my burgling experience,

-      and now that I saw him in the flesh I disliked him still more.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do you come from the Marquis de la Carrabasse?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;His Lordship has directed me to remove the packing-case to-night.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Take it,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;My faith! I prefer its room to its company! The

-      Marquis is at Beacon Street at present, I suppose?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;His Lordship is engaged.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Engaged?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Rather more than that,&rdquo; said Mr. Hankey, with a peculiar look. &ldquo;But he

-      will call upon you to-morrow and give you your orders.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My orders!&rdquo; I exclaimed, with some annoyance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0121" id="linkimage-0121"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0340.jpg" alt="0340m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0340.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;His Lordship used that expression.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Mr. Hankey looked at me as if to see how I liked this, and then, in a

-      friendly tone which angered me still further, remarked:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It's a risky job, is this.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A man must take some risks now and then.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If the police were to hear?&rdquo; he suggested.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who is to tell them?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It might be worth somebody's while.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And whom do you suspect of being that traitor?&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      With a very abject apology for giving any offence, Mr. Hankey withdrew.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They still suspect me!&rdquo; I said to myself, indignantly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Then another suspicion, still more unpleasant, struck me. Was Mr. Hankey

-      making an overture to me? I tried to dismiss it, but my spirits were not

-      very high that night, not even after the explosive packing-case had been

-      removed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Before retiring to bed on the last night which I was going to spend in

-      this land, a sudden and happy idea struck me. Not to write a single line

-      of explanation to my late hosts was ungrateful and unbecoming in one who

-      boasted of belonging to the politest nation in Europe. I had only promised

-      not to write to Lady Shafthead and Dick. Well, then, there was nothing to

-      hinder me from writing to Daisy. I admit that Sir Philip also was exempt,

-      but this alternative did not strike me so forcibly. If I posted my letter

-      in the morning, she would not get it till it was too late to take any

-      steps that might interfere with our plans. I seized my pen and sat down

-      and wrote:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Dear Miss Shafthead,&mdash;Truly you must think me the most ungrateful

-      and unmannerly of guests; but, believe me, gratitude and kind

-      recollections are not what have been lacking. I am prevented from

-      explaining fully, but I may venture to tell you this&mdash;since the

-      occasion will be past even when you read these lines; I am again in the

-      service of one who has the first call upon my devotion. Without naming

-      him, doubtless you can guess who I mean. Silence towards the kind Lady

-      Shafthead and towards my dear friend Dick has been enjoined upon me; but

-      since you were not specifically mentioned I cannot resist the impulse to

-      assure you of my eternal remembrance of your kindness and of yourself.

-      Convey my adieus to Sir Philip and to Lady Shafthead, and assure them

-      that their hospitality and goodness will never be forgotten by me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Tell Dick that I shall write to him later if fate permits me. If not, he

-      can always assure himself that I was ever his most affectionate and

-      devoted friend.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I leave England to-night on an adventure which I cannot but allow seems

-      hopeless and desperate enough, but, as I once said to you on a less

-      serious occasion, <i>'l'homme propose, Dieu dispose</i>.' The cause calls,

-      I can but obey! I know not what English customs permit me to sign myself,

-      but in the language of sincerity and of the heart, I am, yours eternally

-      and gratefully.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And then I signed my name, lingering a little over it to delay the curtain

-      which seemed to descend when I folded my letter and placed it in its

-      envelope.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0122" id="linkimage-0122"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0032" id="link2HCH0032"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXXII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Farewell, my friends, farewell! We have had some brave days together!</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Boulevardé.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0123" id="linkimage-0123"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9343.jpg" alt="9343 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9343.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HE momentous day had come. Looking out of my bedroom window in the

-      morning, I saw the sunshine smiling on the bare trees and the frosted

-      grass of the park. At that hour the shadows were long, and Rotten Row

-      quiet as a lonely sea-shore, so that a lively flock of sparrows seemed to

-      fill the whole air with their cheerful discussions, and I fancied they

-      were debating whether they could let me go away and leave forever this

-      little home that I had made.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I would stay,&rdquo; I said to them; &ldquo;I would stay if I could.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But, alas! it was to be my last day in England, the land I had first

-      regarded as so alien, and then come to love so well. And there was no use

-      standing here letting my spirit run down at heel.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet, when I came into my sitting-room and saw the bareness that had

-      already been made by my preparations for departure, the absence of little

-      things my eye had before fallen upon without noticing, and the presence of

-      a half-packed box in one corner, my heart began to feel an emptiness

-      again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I feel as a man must when he is going to get married,&rdquo; I said to myself,

-      and endeavored to smile gayly at my humor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Hardly had I finished my breakfast, endeavoring as I read as usual my

-      morning paper to forget that I was leaving all this, when I heard a quick

-      step in the passage, and with a brisk, &ldquo;Bon jour, monsieur!&rdquo; the Marquis

-      entered.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I thought, &ldquo;he is in his element. No regrets with him.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet, after the first alertness of his entry, I observed, to my surprise, a

-      certain air of sentiment about him, which, if it was not regret, was at

-      least not martial keenness.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You did your business yesterday?&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; he replied, in a grave tone, and with something like a tender

-      look in his eye. &ldquo;I did some private business of an unforgettable and

-      momentous nature, my dear d'Haricot. But not now; I shall not tell you

-      now. To-night you shall know.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Then, making a gesture as if to banish this mood, he threw himself into a

-      chair, and, bending his brows in a keen look at me, said:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But to business, my friend; to the business we are embarked upon.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Precisely,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I await it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In this house where you dine are two entrances. Your guests come in by

-      one, and you await them in the rooms I have set apart for you. In the rest

-      of the house I operate.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And what do you do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I gather our force. Men picked by my agents are to be invited to enter by

-      the other door. I offer them refreshments. They follow, or, rather,

-      precede me. In a lane at the back of the house is yet another door;

-      against it is drawn up a great van, a van used for removing furniture, a

-      van of colossal size. You see?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hardly; I fear I am stupid.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You do not see? Ah, my dear d'Haricot, eloquence is your gift,

-      contrivance mine. I have not invented a flying-machine, a submarine

-      vessel, and a dynamite gun for nothing. These men enter this van; the door

-      is closed upon them; it is driven to the station, put on board my special

-      train, and taken to the coast. They then emerge; I address them in such

-      terms as will make it impossible for them to withdraw, even if they wish&mdash;and

-      they are to be desperate, picked men; we arm them, and then to France! On

-      the coast of Normandy we will be met by five regiments of foot, two of

-      cavalry, and six batteries of artillery which I am assured will declare

-      for the King. Paris is ripe for a revolution. Vive le Roi! Why are you

-      silent? Is it not well thought of, my friend?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It is indeed ingenious,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;But the carrying of it out I foresee

-      may not be so easy.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Nothing can fail. My confidence is implicit. Was I ever deceived?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I might with truth have retorted &ldquo;always,&rdquo; but I saw that I should only

-      enrage him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I shrugged my shoulders and asked:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You superintend the affair?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In the house. Hankey makes the arrangements at the station. Much is to be

-      done. One man to one task.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I? What do I do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You bring your friends to the station. At eleven precisely the train

-      starts. Do not be late.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But if they will not accompany me?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If all else fails, we go to France together. At least our brave

-      countrymen will not be afraid, whatever these colder islanders may do.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You may depend on me for that,&rdquo; I answered. &ldquo;By-the-way, I should tell

-      you that I bring a friend of my own to dinner&mdash;M. Lumme.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Lumme!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;You can trust him?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Implicitly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And I trust you. Bring him if he is brave.&rdquo; There was a minute's pause;

-      he had suddenly fallen silent.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is that all?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All for the present, my brave friend; au revoir! We meet at the station

-      at eleven precisely! Do not forget!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He leaped up with that surprising vivacity that marked his movements, and

-      before I had time to accompany him even as far as the door he had closed

-      it and gone. In a moment, however, I heard his voice outside, apparently

-      engaged in altercation with some one, and then followed some vigorous

-      expletives and a brisk sound of scuffling.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I rushed into the passage, and there, to my consternation, beheld my

-      friend retreating towards me before a vigorous onslaught by Halfred, who

-      was flourishing his fists and exclaiming, &ldquo;Come out, you beastly mounseer!

-      Come out into the square and I'll paste your hugly mug inter a cocked at!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Diable!&rdquo; cried the Marquis. &ldquo;Leetle bad man stop short! Mon Dieu! What

-      can it was?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Halfred!&rdquo; I cried, indignantly. &ldquo;Cease! What is the meaning of this?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred, desisting, but unabashed at my anger.

-      &ldquo;You told me yourself, sir, as ow I was to do it.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I told you? Explain! Come into my room.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I brought the two combatants in, closed the door, and repeated, sternly:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Explain, sir!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;This is the furriner as haccosted Miss Titch, sir,&rdquo; said Halfred,

-      doggedly, &ldquo;and you said as 'ow I'd better practise my boxing on 'im. I

-      didn't spot 'im the other night, but Miss Titch she seed 'im this morning

-      and told me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I know not the meaning you mean when you speak so fast!&rdquo; cried the

-      Marquis. &ldquo;But I see you are intoxicate, foddled and squiff. Small beast,

-      to damn with you!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0124" id="linkimage-0124"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0348.jpg" alt="0348m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0348.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You just wait till I gets you outside,&rdquo; said Halfred, ominously. &ldquo;I'll

-      give you something to talk German about!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;German!&rdquo; shrieked the Marquis, catching at the only word he understood.

-      &ldquo;If you was gentleman not as could be which I then should&mdash;ha!&rdquo; And

-      he stamped his foot and made a gesture of lunging my retainer through the

-      chest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, you're ready to begin, are you?&rdquo; said Halfred, mistaking this

-      movement for the preliminary to a box and throwing himself into the proper

-      attitude.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;With your permission, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Stop!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;You certainly have not my permission! I shall dismiss you

-      if you strike my guest again!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Yet I fear I was unable to keep my countenance as severe as it should have

-      been. I then turned to the livid and furious Marquis and explained the

-      cause of the assault.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Address that girl!&rdquo; cried he. &ldquo;It was to ask her questions&mdash;questions

-      about you, monsieur, when I wrongly distrusted you. This is a scandalous

-      charge!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But you see how liable your action was to misconstruction?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I see, I do see!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;He was right to feel jealous! I have

-      given many good cause, yes, I confess it. Explain to him.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I told Halfred of his mistake.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, sir,&rdquo; he said, &ldquo;I takes your word, sir.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good young man,&rdquo; said the Marquis, turning to him with his finest

-      courtesy. &ldquo;I forgive. I admire. You have right. Many have I love, but your

-      mistress is not admired of me. She is preserve! Good-night, young man;

-      good-night, monsieur.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And off he marched as briskly as ever.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Halfred shook his head darkly.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Him being a friend of yours, sir, I says nothing,&rdquo; he observed, but his

-      abstinence from further comment was more eloquent than even his candid

-      opinion would have been.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I posted my letter, I smoked, I read a book to pass the time, and at last,

-      as the afternoon was wearing on, I went to my bedroom and packed a bag

-      containing a change of clothes and other essentials, for I remembered that

-      I should have to drive straight from the dinner-table to the train. I

-      looked out into the street; dusk was falling, the lamps were lit, the

-      lights of a carriage and the rattle of horses passed now and then, the

-      steady hum of London reached my ears. It was still cheerful and inviting,

-      but now my nerves were tighter strung and I felt rather excitement than

-      depression.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Monsieur! You in there?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      The voice came from my sitting-room. I started, I rushed towards the

-      welcome sound, and the next moment I was embracing Dick Shafthead. He

-      looked so uncomfortable at this un-English salutation that I had to begin

-      with an apology.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Never before and never again, I assure you!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;For the instant I

-      forgot myself; that is the truth. Tell me, what good angel has sent you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      For I knew his sister could not yet have received my letter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We were afraid you'd got into the hands of the police again, and I've

-      come prepared to bail you out. What the deuce happened to you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You heard the circumstances of my departure?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We heard a cock-and-bull story from a thickheaded yokel&mdash;something

-      about a pistol and a villain with a mustache and a carriage and pair; but

-      as we learned that you'd appeared at the station safe and sound, we

-      divided the yarn by five. I must say, though, I've been getting a little

-      worried at hearing no news of you&mdash;that's to say, the women folk got

-      in a flutter.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Did they?&rdquo; I cried, with a pleasant excitement I could not quite conceal.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Naturally, we are not accustomed to have our guests vanish like an Indian

-      juggler. I've come to see what's up.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I told him then the whole story, letting the Marquis's prohibition go to

-      the winds. He listened in amused astonishment.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well,&rdquo; he said, at last, &ldquo;it seems I've just come in time for the fair.

-      You've napkins enough to feed another conspirator, I suppose?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are the one man I want!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;That's all right, then,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I'd better be off to my rooms to

-      dress. Where shall we meet?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I will call for you soon after half-past seven. The house is not far from

-      the Temple, I believe.&rdquo; So now, thanks to Providence, I would have both my

-      best friends by my side. My spirits rose high, and I began to look forward

-      gayly even to urging a bishop to start by a night train with a

-      repeating-rifle.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Soon after seven Teddy appeared, immaculate and garrulous as ever, and in

-      high spirits at the thought of the shock his reverend father would get on

-      finding him included among the select party.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The governor's looking forward to having a great night of it,&rdquo; said this

-      irreverend son. &ldquo;Scratching his head when I last saw him, trying to

-      remember the stories he generally tells to dooks and royalties. I told him

-      he'd better get up a few spicy ones to tickle a Frenchie, don't you know.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0125" id="linkimage-0125"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0352.jpg" alt="0352m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0352.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My faith!&rdquo; I exclaimed; &ldquo;how disappointed they will all be! I scarcely

-      have the face to meet them.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Rot,&rdquo; said Teddy. &ldquo;Do 'em good. Hullo! what's this bag for? Oh, I see,

-      you cross to-night, don't you? Is Halfred going with you?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I also looked at my servant in surprise. He was dressed in his overcoat,

-      and stood holding my bag in one hand and his hat in the other.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Going to take your bag down for you, sir,&rdquo; he explained.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I do not need you, my good Halfred. I was just going to say farewell

-      to you this moment.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I'm a-coming,&rdquo; he persisted.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Even against my wishes?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir, but that there furriner, 'e' s in this show, ain't he?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Why should you think so?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I smells a rat, sir, as soon as I sees 'im. I don't mean no offence, but

-      you don't know Hengland as well as I do. I'll come along, sir, and if you

-      happens to be thinking of a trip across the channel, I was thinking, sir,

-      a change of hair wouldn't do me no 'arm.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I cannot allow you! There is danger!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Just as I thought, sir; but I'm ready for 'em.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And, laying down the bag, he showed me the butt of an immense pistol in

-      his overcoat-pocket.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Halfred,&rdquo; I cried, &ldquo;you may not glitter, but you are of gold! Come, then,

-      my brave fellow, if you will!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Good sportsman, isn't he?&rdquo; said Teddy, as we drove off together.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At a quarter to eight we three, Teddy and Dick and I, alighted at number

-      Twenty-two Beacon Street, Strand, to find Halfred and the bag awaiting us

-      outside the door. A waiter with a mysterious air showed us up a narrow

-      staircase into a small, well-furnished reception-room. Beyond this,

-      through folding-doors, opened a dining-room of moderate size, where we

-      found the table laid and ready. The man closed the door and disappeared,

-      and the four of us were left to await the arrival of my guests.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0126" id="linkimage-0126"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0033" id="link2HCH0033"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXXIII

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>The time has come, the very hour has struck when deeds most

-      unforgettable are due.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Ben Verulam.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0127" id="linkimage-0127"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9355.jpg" alt="9355 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9355.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      UARTER-PAST eight, and no sign of a guest!&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You are sure you asked 'em for eight and not eight-thirty?&rdquo; said Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Positive; it was on the card. I noticed particularly.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Perhaps they've gone to your rooms,&rdquo; suggested Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Scarcely. Some of them do not know my address, and this house was also

-      engraved upon the card.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We were sitting round the anteroom fire while Halfred waited in the

-      dining-room.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Beg pardon, sir,&rdquo; he observed, putting his head through the door-way.

-      &ldquo;But perhaps they've smelled a rat, like as I do.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Another quarter of an hour passed, and then we heard the sound of heavy

-      footsteps on the stairs; it sounded like several people. Then came a

-      knock. I opened the door and saw the waiter who had shown me in, and

-      behind him a number of as disreputable-looking fellows as I have ever met.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0128" id="linkimage-0128"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0356.jpg" alt="0356m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0356.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your visitors, sir,&rdquo; said the waiter, in his mysterious voice, though

-      with an evident air of surprise, and, I think, of disgust.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mine?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, sir; Mr. Horleens, they wants.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I am not Mr. Horleens. There is some mistake here.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I addressed a few questions to one of the men, but he was so abashed at

-      the well-dressed appearance of myself and my two guests that, muttering

-      something about &ldquo;being made a blooming fool of,&rdquo; the whole party turned

-      and descended again.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It was the right word, sir,&rdquo; said the waiter to me. &ldquo;Some of 'em was to

-      ask for Mr. Horleens.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you make of that?&rdquo; I exclaimed, when they had all gone.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;They've mistaken the house, o' course,&rdquo; said Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Horleens, Horleens,&rdquo; repeated Dick, thought-fully. &ldquo;I have it! They meant

-      Orleans. They must be some of your gay sportsmen.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Of course!&rdquo; I cried. &ldquo;That must have been the password. Well, no doubt

-      they have found the proper door by this time. But I fear, gentlemen, that

-      we are to have this dinner all to ourselves.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Let's eat it anyhow,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;I've a twist like a pig's tail.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      This sentiment being heartily applauded by Teddy, I rang for the waiter,

-      and we sat down to as excellent a dinner as you could wish to taste.

-      Certainly, whatever miscalculations the Marquis had made, this part of his

-      programme was successfully arranged and enthusiastically carried through.

-      We ate, we drank, we laughed, we jested; you would have thought that the

-      night had nothing more serious in store for any of us. Halfred, who helped

-      to wait upon us, nearly dropped the dishes more than once in his efforts

-      to control his mirth at some exuberant sally. It was not possible to have

-      devised a merrier evening for my last.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Here's to your guests for not turning up!&rdquo; cried Teddy. &ldquo;They'd only have

-      spoiled the fun.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And the average of bottles per man,&rdquo; added Dick.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes. Thank God I am not making an inflammatory speech to Sir Henry Horley

-      and the Bishop of Battersea!&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;But, my dear friends&rdquo;&mdash;and

-      here I pulled out my watch&mdash;&ldquo;I fear I shall have to make a little

-      speech as it is, a farewell oration to you. It is now half-past ten. I

-      leave you in a few minutes.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The devil you do,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Teddy, the monsieur proposes to dismiss

-      us. What shall we do?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The monsieur be blanked!&rdquo; cried Teddy, using a most unnecessarily strong

-      expression. &ldquo;O' course we're coming, too.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But I shall not permit&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Silence!&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Messieurs, let us put on our coats! Halfred, load

-      that pistol of yours; the expedition is starting.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      No use in protesting. These two faithful comrades hilariously cried down

-      all resistance, and the four of us set off for the station.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      In a remote, half-lit corner of that huge, draughty building, we found the

-      special train standing; an engine, two carriages, and the great colored

-      van already mounted upon a truck. The Marquis met me with a surprised and

-      disappointed look.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is this all the aid you bring?&rdquo; he asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I do not know what mistake you have made, but my

-      guests never appeared.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is that the truth?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. le Marquis!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Pardon. I see; there must have been some error. Well, it cannot be helped

-      now. I, at least, have been more successful; I have got my men. Who are

-      these two?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I introduced my two friends, and we walked down the platform. As we passed

-      the furniture van I started to hear noises proceeding from inside.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do not be alarmed,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;I have explained that I am

-      conveying a menagerie.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We stopped before a first-class compartment. He opened the door and

-      invited us to enter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Do not think me impolite if I myself travel in another carriage,&rdquo; he said

-      to me. &ldquo;I have a companion.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;M. Hankey?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He also is here,&rdquo; he replied, I thought evasively.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Just before we started, Halfred put his head through our window and said,

-      with a mysterious grin:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The furriner's got a lady with him!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0129" id="linkimage-0129"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0360.jpg" alt="0360m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0360.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      But he had to run to his own carriage before he had time to add more. The

-      next moment the engine whistled and the expedition had started.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I don't quite know what the penalty is for this sort of thing,&rdquo; said

-      Dick, as we clanked out over the dark Thames and the constellations of the

-      Embankment. &ldquo;Hard labor if we're caught on this side of the channel, and

-      hanging on the other, I suppose; so cheer up, Teddy!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      At this quite unnecessary exhortation, Teddy forthwith burst into song.

-      You would have thought that these two young men, travelling in their

-      evening clothes and laughing gayly, were bound for some ball or carnival.

-      Yet they knew quite well they were running a very serious risk for a cause

-      they had no interest in whatever, and that seemed only to increase their

-      good-humor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What soldiers they would make!&rdquo; I said to myself.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But in the course of an hour or two our talk and laughter ceased, not that

-      our courage oozed away, but for the prosaic reason that we were all

-      becoming desperately sleepy. How long we took to make that journey I

-      cannot say. The lines seemed to be consecrated to goods traffic at that

-      hour of the night and our train moved by fits and starts, now running for

-      half an hour, then stopping for it seemed twice as long. At last I awoke

-      from a doze to find the train apparently entering a station, and at the

-      same instant Dick started up.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We must be nearly there,&rdquo; I said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My dear fellow,&rdquo; he replied, seriously. &ldquo;Are you really going on with

-      this mad adventure?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have no choice; but you&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Oh, I'm coming with you if you persist. But think twice before it's too

-      late.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Hey!&rdquo; cried Teddy, starting from his slumbers. &ldquo;Where are we?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Dick and I looked at each other, and, seeing that we were resolute, he

-      smiled and then yawned, while I let down the window and looked out.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Yes, we were entering a station, and in a minute or two more our journey

-      was at an end.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;There will be a little delay while we get the van off the train and the

-      horses harnessed,&rdquo; said the Marquis, coming up to me. &ldquo;In the mean time

-      there is some one to whom I wish to present you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He led me to his carriage and there I saw a veiled lady sitting. Even with

-      her veil down I started, and when she raised it I became for the instant

-      petrified with utter astonishment. It was Kate Kerry!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I believe you have met this lady,&rdquo; said the Marquis, in his stateliest

-      manner, &ldquo;but not previously as my wife.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your wife!&rdquo; I exclaimed. &ldquo;I have, then, the honor of addressing the

-      Marchioness de la Carrabasse?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You have,&rdquo; said Kate, with a smile and a flash of those dark eyes that

-      had once thrilled me so.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We were married yesterday morning,&rdquo; said the Marquis. &ldquo;That was the

-      business I was engaged upon. And now for the moment I leave you; the

-      general must attend to his command!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I entered the carriage, and there, from her own lips, I heard the story of

-      this extraordinary romance. The Marquis, she told me, had obtained an

-      introduction to her (I did not ask too closely how, but, knowing his

-      impetuous methods, I guessed what this phrase meant); this had been just

-      after the end of the mission, and his object at first was to obtain

-      information about me from one whom (I also guessed) he regarded as

-      probably my mistress; but in a very short time from playing the detective

-      he had become the lover; his suit was pressed with irresistible vigor, and

-      now I beheld the result.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;May I ask a delicate question?&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she replied, with all her

-      old haughty assurance.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What was it that moved your heart, that so suddenly made you love the

-      Marquis?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He attracted my sympathy.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Your sympathy only?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And my admiration. He is serving a noble cause.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Truly, my friend had infected his wife with his own enthusiasm in the most

-      remarkable way. &ldquo;Does your uncle know?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He might not approve of my friend.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My husband is a marquis,&rdquo; she replied, with an air of pride and

-      satisfaction that seemed to me to throw more than a little light on the

-      complex motives of this young lady.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now you propose to accompany him on this dangerous adventure?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Certainly I do! Where else should I be?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is fortunate, indeed,&rdquo; I said, politely.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Now I understand how my friend F. II had obtained all his information

-      regarding my movements and my friends and my different escapades, for in

-      the day's of Plato I had talked most frankly with his fair Marchioness. In

-      fact, I perceived clearly several things that had been obscure before.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But our talk was soon interrupted by the return of the happy husband.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;All is ready! Come!&rdquo; he said.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Undoubtedly, with his eyes burning with the excitement of action, his

-      effective gestures and distinguished air, his dramatic speech, not to

-      speak of that little title of marquis, I could well fancy his charming a

-      girl who delighted in the unusual, and was ready, as her uncle said, to

-      fill in the picture from her own imagination.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And so my dethroned divinity is the Marchioness de la Carrabasse!&rdquo; I said

-      to myself. &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I shall be curious to see the offspring of this

-      remarkable union!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0130" id="linkimage-0130"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0034" id="link2HCH0034"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXXIV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Et Balbus bellum horridum fecit.</i>&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;CONVULSIUS.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0131" id="linkimage-0131"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9365.jpg" alt="9365 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9365.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      HE Marquis led us from the station into a road, where we found the van

-      already under way and two carriages awaiting us. In one Dick and Teddy

-      were already installed; the Marquis and Kate entered the other. I joined

-      my friends, and Halfred sprang upon the box; and off we set for a

-      destination which our leader, after his habit, kept till the last a

-      profound secret. So far as I could see, our force consisted of the party I

-      have named, the men in the van, and the three drivers. Hankey, I presumed,

-      must be one of the last. Where we were to find a ship, and how soon we

-      were to find our French allies, I had no notion at all.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      That drive seemed as interminable as the railway journey, and certainly it

-      was far more uncomfortable. We were all three too sleepy to talk much,

-      but, to my constant wonder and delight, I found my two companions as ready

-      as ever to go ahead and take their chance of what might befall them.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I say,&rdquo; said Teddy, in a drowsy tone, &ldquo;do you think there's any chance of

-      getting a bath before we begin?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The despised sandwich would come in handy, too,&rdquo; added Dick. &ldquo;I say,

-      monsieur, why didn't you bring a flask?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I did,&rdquo; I replied, &ldquo;and here it is.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He is another Napoleon,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;Nothing is forgotten.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Meantime the day began to break, and, though the sun had not yet risen, it

-      was quite light when we felt our carriage stop.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Alight!&rdquo; said the voice of the Marquis. &ldquo;We have arrived!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      We were in a side track that ran through the fields of a sheltered valley;

-      on one side a grove of trees concealed us; on the other, through the end

-      of the valley and only at a little distance off, I saw something that

-      roused me with a thrill of excitement. It was the open, gray sea, with a

-      small steamboat lying close inshore.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Peste!&rdquo; cried the Marquis, taking me aside. &ldquo;Hankey is not here!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Not with us?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No; he must have been left at the station. It is a nuisance!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;It seems to me worse than that.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes, for we cannot wait; we must leave him behind. It is a great loss.

-      And now, my brave comrade, the drama commences&mdash;the drama of the

-      restoration! You will open the van, and as the men come out I shall

-      address them.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;In English?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Yes; I have prepared and learned by heart an oration. It will not be

-      long, but it will be moving. Ah, you will see that I can be eloquent!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      With his wife at his side, and the drivers a few paces behind him, he drew

-      himself up and threw out his chest, while I unlocked the door of the van.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Throwing it open I stepped back, curious to see the desperadoes he had

-      collected, and wondering how they would regard the business, while the

-      Marquis cleared his throat.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      A moment's expectant pause, and then&mdash;conceive my sensations&mdash;out

-      stepped, first, the burly form of Sir Henry Horley, then the upright

-      figure of General Sholto, next the benevolent countenance of the Bishop of

-      Battersea, and after him the remainder of my invited guests. The Marquis

-      had kidnapped the wrong men!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What the devil!&rdquo; began Sir Henry, glancing round him to see in what

-      country and company he found himself; but before there was time for a word

-      of explanation, the Marquis had launched upon his passionate appeal. As

-      the original manuscript afterwards came into my possession, I am able to

-      give the exact words of this remarkable oration.

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0008.jpg" alt="0008m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0008.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Brave, gallant men,&rdquo; he cried; &ldquo;you have come to share adventures

-      stupendous, miraculous, which you will enjoy! I lead you, my good

-      Britannic sportsmen, whither or why obviously can be seen, to establish

-      the anointed and legal King in his right country! To die successfully is

-      glorious! But you will not; you will live forever conquering, and

-      gratefully recollected in France!

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You&rdquo; [here he waved his hand towards the astonished baronet] &ldquo;will enjoy

-      drink of all beers and spirits that an English proverbially adores ever

-      after and always! Also you&rdquo; [here he indicated the dumfounded bishop]

-      &ldquo;will enjoy women, the most lively and sporting in the wide world, always

-      and ever after! Also you&rdquo; [pointing towards the substantial form of Mr.

-      Alderman Guffin] &ldquo;shall bask and revel in the land of song, of music, of

-      light fantastic toes, amid all which once and more having been never

-      stopping again bravo and hip, hip, my sportsmen! Once, twice, thrice,

-      follow me to victor!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      He stopped and looked eagerly for the fruits of this appeal, and his

-      Britannic sportsmen returned his gaze with interest. I am free to confess

-      that long before this my two companions and I had shrunk from publicity

-      behind the door of the van, awaiting a more fitting moment to greet our

-      friends.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Is this a dashed asylum, or a dashed nightmare?&rdquo; demanded Sir Henry.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Not quite comprehending this, but seeing that these recruits displayed no

-      great alacrity, the Marquis again raised his voice and cried:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Are you afraid, brave garçons?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But now an unexpected light was thrown on their captors.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Kate!&rdquo; exclaimed General Sholto in a bewildered voice.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      That the unfortunate General should have his domestic drama played in

-      public was more than I could bear. I stepped forward, and I may honestly

-      say that I effectually distracted attention. It was not a pleasant

-      process, even when assisted by the explanations of Teddy to his father and

-      the loyal assurances of Dick; but it at least cleared the air. As for the

-      unfortunate Marquis, his chagrin was so evident that, diabolically

-      unpleasant as he had made my own position, I could not but feel sorry for

-      him.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And so,&rdquo; he said to me, sadly, &ldquo;Heaven has been unkind to me again. I

-      acted for the best, my dear d'Haricot, believe me! But I fear I do not

-      excel so much in carrying out details as in conceiving plans. I see, it

-      was my fault! I allowed these gentlemen to enter that house by the wrong

-      door. Well, if they will not follow us&mdash;and I fear they are

-      reluctant, though I do not understand all they say&mdash;we three must go

-      alone!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Three?&rdquo; I asked.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My wife and you and I. Say farewell to your friends and come! The vessel

-      awaits us and our forces in France will at all events be ready.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But Heaven was to prove still more unkind to our unfortunate leader.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Who are these?&rdquo; I exclaimed.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;The English police!&rdquo; he cried. &ldquo;We are betrayed!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And indeed we were. A force of mounted policemen swept round the corner of

-      the wood and trotted up to us, and in the midst of them we recognized the

-      double-faced Hankey.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What do you want, gentlemen?&rdquo; asked the Marquis, calmly, though his eyes

-      flashed dangerously at the traitor.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;We come in the Queen's name!&rdquo; replied the officer in command. &ldquo;Are you

-      the Marquis de la Carrabasse?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I am.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I have a warrant, then, for your arrest.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But now, for the first time, fortune turned in the Marquis's favor, though

-      I fear it seemed to that zealous patriot a poor crumb of consolation that

-      she threw.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Instead of finding, as our betrayer had calculated, a crew of

-      suspicious-looking adventurers, he beheld a small party of middle-aged

-      gentlemen attired in evening clothes and anxious only to find their way

-      home again; and, to add to our good luck, when they came to look for our

-      case of arms and ammunition it appeared that the Marquis had forgotten to

-      bring it. Also, these same elderly gentlemen showed a very marked

-      disinclination to have their share in the adventure appear in the morning

-      papers, even in the capacity of witnesses.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      And, finally, as the French government had been informed of our plans for

-      some weeks past, so that we were absolutely powerless for mischief, the

-      police decided to overlook my share altogether and make a merely formal

-      matter of my friend's arrest.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;What will my King say?&rdquo; cried the poor Marquis. &ldquo;Oh, d'Haricot, I am

-      disgraced, and my honor is lost! Tell me not that I am unfortunate; for

-      what difference does that make? Such misfortunes must not be survived!

-      Adieu, my friend! Pardon my suspicions!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      Before I could prevent him, the unfortunate man quickly thrust his hand

-      into his pistol-pocket, and in that same instant would have blown out

-      those ingenious, unpractical brains. But, with a fresh look of despair, he

-      stopped, petrified, his hand still in his pocket.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;My revolver also is forgotten!&rdquo; he exclaimed. &ldquo;I am neither capable of

-      living nor of dying!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thank Heaven who mislaid that pistol,&rdquo; I replied. &ldquo;Had you forgotten your

-      bride, too?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Mon Dieu! I had! I thank you for reminding me. Ah, yes, I have some

-      consolation in life left, me!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      But though the Marchioness no doubt consoled him later, she was at that

-      moment in anything but a sympathetic mood.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Well, my dear,&rdquo; I overheard the General saying to her, &ldquo;as you make your

-      bed so you must lie in it. This&mdash;er&mdash;Marquis, doesn't he call

-      himself?&mdash;of yours hasn't started very brilliantly, but, I dare say,

-      by the time he has been before the magistrate and cooled down, and had a

-      shave and so forth, he will do better. I shouldn't let him mix himself up

-      in any more of these plots of his, though, if I were you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She tossed her head, and the defiant flash of her eyes told her uncle

-      plainly to mind his own business; but I fear his words had stung her more

-      than he intended, for when her husband said to her, dramatically, &ldquo;My

-      love, we have failed!&rdquo; she merely replied, with a sarcastic air,

-      &ldquo;Naturaly; what else could you have expected?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She beamed upon me with contrasting kindness, lingered to say farewell to

-      the admiring Teddy, who had just been presented to her, went by her uncle

-      with a disdainful glance, and then the happy couple passed out of this

-      story.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;A devilish fine woman!&rdquo; said Teddy.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Others have made the same reflection,&rdquo; I replied.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now, monsieur,&rdquo; said Dick, &ldquo;I think it's about time we were getting

-      back to London, bath, and breakfast.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Carriage is ready, sir,&rdquo; said the voice of Halfred.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Whose carriage?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Carriage as we came down in, sir. I've give the driver the tip, and he's

-      waiting behind them trees.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;But what about all these unfortunate gentlemen?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Thought as 'ow they might prefer travelling in the van they comed in,&rdquo; he

-      replied, with a semblance of great gravity.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      But I had not the hardihood to do this, and concerning my journey to town

-      with my dinnerless, sleepless, and breakfastless guests, I should rather

-      say as little as possible.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I confess I envied the Marquis accompanying his escort of constables.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0132" id="linkimage-0132"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figright" style="width:30%;">

-      <img src="images/8000.jpg" alt="8000 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/8000.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br />

-    </p>

-    <hr />

-    <p>

-      <a name="link2HCH0035" id="link2HCH0035"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div style="height: 4em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h2>

-      Chapter XXXV

-    </h2>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;<i>Adieu! I never wait till my friends have yawned twice</i>.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &mdash;Hercule d'Enville.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0133" id="linkimage-0133"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="figleft" style="width:20%;">

-      <img src="images/9374.jpg" alt="9374 " width="100%" /><br /><a

-      href="images/9374.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </div>

-    <p>

-      ELL, I am back in London after all, amid the murmur of millions of English

-      voices, the rumble of millions of wheels, the painted omnibus, and the

-      providential policeman&mdash;all the things to which I bade a long

-      farewell last night. And my reader, if indeed he has kept me company so

-      far, now fidgets a little for fear I am about to mix myself in further

-      complications and pour more follies into the surfeited ear. But no! I have

-      rambled and confessed enough, and in a few more pages I, like the Indian

-      juggler Dick compared me to, shall throw a rope into the sky, and,

-      climbing up it, disappear&mdash;into heaven? Again no! It may be a

-      surprise to many, but it was not there that these memoirs were written.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      To round up and finish off a narrative that has no plot, no moral, and

-      only the most ridiculous hero, is not so easy as I thought it was going to

-      be. Probably the best plan will be not to say too much about this hero and

-      just a little about his friends.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      As I had given up and dismantled my rooms, Dick insisted that I must

-      return to Helmscote with him that same day and finish my Christmas visit,

-      and need it be said that I accepted this invitation?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      At the station, upon our arrival in London, I parted with Teddy Lumme and

-      General Sholto.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;By-bye,&rdquo; said Teddy, cheerfully; &ldquo;I must trot along and look after the

-      governor; he's in a terrible stew; I don't suppose he has missed two meals

-      running before in his life&mdash;poor old beggar! It'll do him good,

-      though; don't you worry, old chap.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And with a friendly wave of his hand this filial son drove off with the

-      still muttering Bishop.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      The General wrung my hand, hoped he would see me again soon, and then,

-      without more words, left us. He was not so cheerful, for that final

-      escapade of his niece had hurt him more than he would allow. Still, it was

-      a fine red neck and a very erect back that I last saw marching down the

-      platform.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;And now, my good Halfred,&rdquo; I said, &ldquo;I suppose you fly to Miss Titch and

-      happiness? Lucky fellow!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I 'aven't been dismissed yet, sir,&rdquo; he replied, solemnly, and with no

-      answering smile, &ldquo;but if you gives me the sack, o' course I'll 'ave to

-      go.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Then you think I need your watchful eye on me a little longer?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      From the expression of that watchful eye it was evident that he was very

-      far from disposed to let me take my chance of escaping the consequences of

-      my errors without his assistance. Indeed, to this day he firmly holds the

-      opinion that it was his vigilance alone that insured so harmless an end to

-      our desperate expedition, and that if he had not stood by me I should have

-      conspired again within a week.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I puts hit to Mr. Shafthead,&rdquo; he replied, casting a glance at my friend

-      which might be compared to a warning in cipher addressed to some potentate

-      by an allied sovereign.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You certainly had better come down with us, Halfred,&rdquo; said Dick. &ldquo;The

-      Lord only knows what the monsieur would be up to without you.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And accordingly Halfred went with us to Helmscote.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Behold me now once more beneath the ancient, hospitable roof, the kind

-      hostess smiling graciously, the genial baronet roaring with unrestrained

-      mirth at the tale of our adventures&mdash;and Daisy? She was not looking

-      directly at me; but her face was smiling, with pleasure a little, I

-      thought, as well as amusement. At night the same welcoming chamber and a

-      fire as bright as before; only this time no missives thrown through the

-      casement window. Next morning I am severely left alone; Dick has been

-      summoned by his father. Half an hour passes, and then, with an air of

-      triumph, he returns.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You'll have to look after yourself to-day, monsieur,&rdquo; he says. &ldquo;I'm off

-      to town to bring her back with me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Her!&rdquo; So the stern parent has relented, and some day in the distant

-      future, I suppose, Agnes Grey will be Lady Shafthead and rule this house.

-      What Dick added regarding my own share in this issue I need not repeat,

-      though I confess it will always be a satisfaction for me to think of one

-      headlong performance, unguided even by Halfred, which resulted so

-      prosperously.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Being thus bereft of Dick, what more natural than that I should be

-      entertained by his sister?

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She speaks of Dick's happiness with a bright gleam in her eye.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;He should feel very grateful to you,&rdquo; she says.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      I should have preferred &ldquo;we&rdquo; to &ldquo;he,&rdquo; but, unluckily, I have no choice in

-      the matter.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I envy him,&rdquo; I reply, with meaning in my voice.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Her face is composed and as demure as ever, only her color seems to me to

-      be a little higher and her eye certainly does not meet mine as frankly as

-      usual.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Suddenly I am emboldened to exclaim:

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I do not mean that I envy him Miss Grey, but his happiness in being

-      loved!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      And then I tell her whose love I myself covet.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      She is embarrassed, she is kind, she is not offended, but her look checks

-      me.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How often have you felt like this within the last few months&mdash;towards

-      some one or other?&rdquo; she asks.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      Alas! How dangerous a thing to let the brother of the adored one know too

-      much! Dick meant no harm; he never knew how his tales would affect me; but

-      evidently he has jested at home about my amours, and now I am regarded by

-      his sister either as a Don Juan or a perpetually love-sick sentimentalist.

-      And the worst of it is that there are some superficial grounds for either

-      theory.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Ah,&rdquo; I cry, &ldquo;you have heard then of my wanderings in search of the ideal?

-      But I have only just found it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;How can you be sure of that?&rdquo; she asks, a little smile appearing in her

-      eye like a sudden break in a misty sky. &ldquo;You haven't known me long enough

-      to say. In a month you may make a jest of me.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am serious at last. I swear it!&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;I am afraid you will have to remain serious for some time to make me

-      believe it,&rdquo; she replies, the smile still lingering. &ldquo;When any one has

-      treated women, and everything else, flippantly so long as you, I&mdash;&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      She hesitated.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;You do not trust them?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;No,&rdquo; she confesses.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;If I am serious for six months will you trust me then?&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      &ldquo;Perhaps,&rdquo; she allows at last.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      It means a good deal, does that word, said in such circumstances, but I am

-      not going to drag you through the experiences of a faithful lover,

-      sustained by a &ldquo;perhaps.&rdquo; <i>Mon Dieu!</i> You have the privations of Dr.

-      Nansen on his travels to read if that is the literature you admire.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      No; in the words of Halfred on the eve of his nuptials with Aramatilda, &ldquo;I

-      ain't what you'd call solemn nat'rally but this here matrimonial business

-      do make a man stop talkin' as free as he'd wish.&rdquo;

-     </p>

-    <p>

-      I also shall stop talking, and, with the blotting-pad already in my hand,

-      pray Heaven to grant my readers an indulgent and a not too solemn spirit.

-    </p>

-    <p>

-      <br /><br /><a name="linkimage-0134" id="linkimage-0134"> </a>

-    </p>

-    <div class="fig" style="width:50%;">

-      <img src="images/0379.jpg" alt="0379m " width="100%" /><br />

-    </div>

-    <h5>

-      <a href="images/0379.jpg"><img src="images/enlarge.jpg" alt="" /> </a>

-    </h5>

-    <div style="height: 6em;">

-      <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />

-    </div>

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-<pre>

-

-

-

-

-

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