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diff --git a/42402-0.txt b/42402-0.txt index baf4f65..7d7eb5b 100644 --- a/42402-0.txt +++ b/42402-0.txt @@ -1,36 +1,4 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of Horse Laughs, by Chas. H. Marshall - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Horse Laughs - -Author: Chas. H. Marshall - -Release Date: March 24, 2013 [EBook #42402] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HORSE LAUGHS *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42402 *** [Illustration: ADVICE GRATIS. @@ -278,361 +246,4 @@ by The Internet Archive) End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Horse Laughs, by Chas. H. 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H. Marshall - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Horse Laughs - -Author: Chas. H. Marshall - -Release Date: March 24, 2013 [EBook #42402] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HORSE LAUGHS *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - -</pre> - +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 42402 ***</div> <div class="figcenter pic-wide"> <img src="images/cover.jpg" width="600" height="453" alt="" /> @@ -475,382 +437,6 @@ don’t know.</span></p> <img src="images/i046.jpg" width="193" height="196" alt="" /> </div> - - - - - - - -<pre> - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Horse Laughs, by Chas. H. Marshall - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HORSE LAUGHS *** - -***** This file should be named 42402-h.htm or 42402-h.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/2/4/0/42402/ - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: Horse Laughs - -Author: Chas. H. Marshall - -Release Date: March 24, 2013 [EBook #42402] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HORSE LAUGHS *** - - - - -Produced by Chris Curnow, Matthew Wheaton and the Online -Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net (This -file was produced from images generously made available -by The Internet Archive) - - - - - - - -[Illustration: ADVICE GRATIS. - - _Boy (to Local Preacher sallying forth on a "spouting" - expedition)._--I SAY, MESTER, IF YER WAS TO LENGTHEN YER - STIRRUPS AN' SHORTEN YER FACE, YER'D RIDE A BIT EASIER.] - - - - - HORSE:LAUGHS. - - By - - Chas. H. Marshall. - - - To Gilbert Dalziel, Esq., - - THE EDITOR OF "JUDY," - - THIS LITTLE BOOK OF SKETCHES IS GRATEFULLY DEDICATED, - - AS AN - - ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF HIS KIND PERMISSION FOR ITS PUBLICATION, - - AND ALSO AS A - - RECOGNITION OF NUMEROUS FAVOURS RECEIVED FROM HIM ON VARIOUS OCCASIONS. - - WITH THE MOST LIVELY SENTIMENTS OF RESPECT, - - BY HIS MOST OBEDIENT SERVANT, - - THE AUTHOR AND ARTIST. - - - -[Illustration: A NICE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON! - - _Jovial Huntsman (turning up three-quarters of an hour late, - with only two or three couple of hounds, to Master)._--FINE - HUNTINSH MORNIN', SHURR. 'OUNDISH FINE CONDISHUN--THIRSTIN' FOR - BLOODSH--HORSHISH FRESH--MENSH VERY FITSH.] - - -[Illustration: QUALITY AND QUANTITY. - - _Noble Lord (recently married, and rather proud of his - Wife)._--THERE, MUGGINS! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HER LADYSHIP? - - _Muggins (a Tenant who has just been taking a prize at the Fat - Stock Show)._--WELL, M' LORD, _I_ RECKON SHE'S TUPPENCE-'A'P'NY - A POUND BETTER THAN ANY OTHER LADY IN THESE PARTS.] - - -[Illustration: AN EXCUSE FOR THE FOX. - - (_The Fox having been repeatedly headed back into cover, the - Noble Master rides up to ascertain the cause._) - - _Exasperated Huntsman (pointing to Old Lady, with withering - contempt)._--WHY, MY LORD, WHAT _could_ FACE THAT?] - - -[Illustration: WELL MEANT. - - _Highly elated little Gent._--NOW THEN, MISS, I'LL GIVE YER A - LEAD HOVER. COME HUP, DONOVAN! HIN OR HOVER!] - - -[Illustration: BOTH! - - "A DOUBLE EVENT."] - - -[Illustration: DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE. - - _Awful County Magnate (to small Boy, occupying the only gap in - big fence)._--COME, GET OUT OF MY WAY, YOU YOUNG MONKEY! - - _Small Boy._--WHO'S INTERFERED WITH YOU, OLD CHAWBACON? KEEP TO - YOUR OWN LINE, AND DON'T COME RIDING IN MY POCKET.] - - -[Illustration: A MUSICAL HORSE. - - _Officious Horsey Individual (who "knows a 'orse when 'e sees - 'im," and who also "'as a hear for musick")._--YOUR 'ORSE WILL - SOON JINE THE BRASS BAND, SIR. - - _Swell (unconscious of his horse's slight infirmity)._--BRASS - BAND? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - - _O. H. Individual._--WHY, CAN'T YER 'EAR THAT ALREADY 'E TOOTLES - A BIT ON THE FLUTE; BUT BY THE END OF THE SEASON IT'LL BE A CASE - OF TROMBONE WITH 'IM, AN' NO MISTAKE.] - - -[Illustration: "WHEN THE DEVIL WAS SICK THE DEVIL A MONK WOULD BE," -&c. - - _Whip (who has come a severe cropper)._--WELL, I'LL - BE----(_hesitates; wonders whether he's mortally damaged; finds - he's all sound and right_)--D----D!] - - -[Illustration: THE RIGHT SORT. - - _Young Curate._--SINFUL TO HUNT? OH DEAR NO! I DO NOT HUNT NOW, - BECAUSE CERTAIN MEMBERS OF MY FLOCK MIGHT TAKE EXCEPTION TO IT, - AND THINK I NEGLECTED MY PARISH. - - _Miss Gallopade._--BUT, SUPPOSE THE HOUNDS WERE TO CROSS THIS - LANE "FULL CRY," COULD YOU WITHSTAND THE TEMPTATION? - - _Young C._--WELL, I'M AFRAID THEN MY CONSCIENCE WOULD NOT BE THE - MOST FORMIDABLE OBSTACLE I SHOULD HAVE TO NEGOTIATE.] - - -[Illustration: "A CHOPPY SEA." - - _Seafaring Gent (who has been imbibing too freely of mixed - "jumping powders")._--AWFUL SHOPPY SHEE. MUSHT CLING TO - MAIN-MASHT, OR WASHT OVERBOARDSHT. - - (_Next Page._)] - - -[Illustration: - - _Having been obliged, owing to the violence of the storm, to - relinquish his hold of the main-mast our sea-faring friend_ WAS - _washed overboard, but rescued by Landlubbers, who conveyed him - home in an Agricultural Cart, which he imagined was the - life-boat, and tried to impress upon the driver that_ "VESHEL - MUSHT BE SHAVED--VAL-BLE CARGO ABOARDSH. WHYSHNOT DISHPLAY - SHIGNALS OF DISHTRESH?"] - - -[Illustration: STILL IN THE SHAFTS. - - _Mr. Longfoot (to disagreeable friend, who has tried to destroy - the reputation of his new Horse)._--YOU SAID HE WOULD NEVER MAKE - A HUNTER, AND THAT HE WAS ONLY FIT FOR HARNESS. WHY, HE CARRIES - ME SPLENDIDLY! - - _Disagreeable Friend._--YES, NO DOUBT HE CARRIES _you_ WELL; HE - SEES THOSE FEET OF YOURS, AND THINKS HE'S STILL IN THE - SHAFTS.] - - -[Illustration: A VERY OLD AND CURIOUS VINTAGE. - - _First "Old Varmint."_--THEY TELL ME YOU ARE THE OLDEST - FOXHUNTER GOING? NOW, I DON'T THINK YOU ARE; I HAVE HUNTED WITH - THE H---- SIXTY-FIVE YEARS. - - _Second Ditto._--WHAT VINTAGE ARE YOU? - - _First Ditto._--I WAS "SHIPPED" IN EIGHTEEN-FIFTEEN. - - _Second Ditto._--POOH! YOU'RE A MERE BOY. I WAS "BOTTLED" BEFORE - EIGHTEEN-HUNDRED; AND IF HOUNDS WILL ONLY RUN TO-DAY YOU'LL FIND - THERE'S SOME "BODY" IN ME YET.] - - -[Illustration: EVERY MAN TO HIS TASTE. - - _Time--The very last day of the Season._ - - _The Honourable Joe._--WELL, JACK, IT'S ALL OVER NOW. WHAT SHALL - YOU DO WITH YOURSELF UNTIL THE CUB-HUNTING COMES IN? I'M GOING - TO GET MARRIED, YOU KNOW, AND I SHALL TRAVEL WITH MY WIFE. - - _Lord Jack._--YES, JOE; YOU ALWAYS WERE A SLOW GOING CHAP. NOW, - _I_ SHALL BUY A COUPLE OF AWFULLY SMART TERRIERS, AND GO IN FOR - RATTING IN LINCOLNSHIRE. THERE, WHAT DO YOU THINK O' THAT?] - - -[Illustration: AT LINCOLN APRIL FAIR. - - _Poor Little Gent (about to purchase "Screw")._--BUT SURELY - THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THOSE HOCK JOINTS--"CURBS," ARE - THEY NOT? - - _Dealer._--"CURBS?" LOR' BLESS YER, NO! THERE'S WHERE _All_ 'IS - JUMPING POWER IS--PROP-HELLERS, _I_ CALLS 'EM.] - - -[Illustration: UP WITH THE YEOMANRY. - - _Trooper Stubbles (who has been repeatedly reprimanded by - Officer for riding in advance and breaking the line)._--OI CAN'T - HELP IT, SQUIRE. IT'S ALL TH' HOULD MARE. HIVER SIN' OI LENT 'ER - TO A CHAP TO ROIDE AT TH' EASTER MUNOOVERS, SHE'S BIN THAT - HOWDACIOUS AN' WALIANT OI CAN DO NOUGHT WITH 'ER. SHE WEANT - PLOO, AN' SHE KICKS T' PIECES IVERY BLOOMING CART SHE'S PUT TO; - AN' NOO SHE WEANT DO SOLDIERING UNLESS SHE'S FUST. YER'LL 'AVE - TO FOIND ME ANOTHER 'OSS BY REVIEW DAY, OR ELSE MAK' A HOSSIFER - ON ME.] - - -[Illustration: THE REVIEW DAY. - - _Trooper Stubbles, as he appeared in the March Past before the - Reviewing Officer._ - - _On his return home he described the exciting scene as - follows_:--"TH' WOR TH' TROOP _fust_, A-GALLOPING LIKE MAD; TH' - HOULD MARE SECOND, A-KICKING LIKE BLAZES; AND THEN OI A-RUNNING - AN' A-HOLLERING HOOT FOR SOME UN TO KETCH 'ER; BUT THEY ONLY - CALLED HOOT, 'GO IT, STUBBLES! TAK YER SPURS OFF, AN' YER'LL BE - FUST YET.'"] - - -[Illustration: "OH! WHAT A SWINDLE!" - - _Chorus of Nephews and Nieces (to Stout Party on her way to the - Meet of the Coaching Club)._--OH, AUNTIE! YOU SAID YOU WERE - GOING TO RIDE ASTRIDE, AND WE'VE ALL COME PURPOSELY TO SEE - YOU.] - - -[Illustration: MOST DISRESPECTFUL, AND _SO_ IRREVERENT, TOO! - - _Aristocratic Old Lady (who likes to make her own - bargains)._--NO, HE WON'T DO, MR. HUGGINS; HE HAS SUCH VERY BAD - ACTION--HE THROWS HIS FEET ABOUT SO. - - _Mr. Huggins (a dealer in "Screws")._--BAD HACKSHON? THROWS HIS - FEET ABOUT? _I_ CALL IT BEE-UTIFUL HACKSHON. HE GOES AS - IF--(_waxes wrath as he sees the old lady won't be done_)--AS IF - HE DIDN'T CARE A ---- FOR YOU OR ANY OF YOUR RELATIONS. TAK' 'IM - IN, BILL; TH' OLD GAL WANTS A HANGEL FROM 'EAVAN FOR A TEN-PUN - NOTE, AN' WEER TO FOINDE 'EM OI DON'T KNOW.] - - -[Illustration] - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Horse Laughs, by Chas. H. 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