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diff --git a/41647-0.txt b/41647-0.txt index c4db6dc..6646b4e 100644 --- a/41647-0.txt +++ b/41647-0.txt @@ -1,31 +1,4 @@ -The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Fool’s Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and -most other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions -whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at -www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you -will have to check the laws of the country where you are located before -using this eBook. - -Title: A Fool’s Paradise - An Original Play in Three Acts - -Author: Sydney Grundy - -Release Date: December 18, 2012 [eBook #41647] -[Most recently updated: February 16, 2021] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: UTF-8 - -Produced by: Paul Haxo - -*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL’S PARADISE *** - - - +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41647 *** A FOOL'S PARADISE. @@ -3748,358 +3721,4 @@ Sociochemistry of an Element_ (Cambridge, U.K.: Royal Society of Chemistry, 2008), pp. 179-180, 183-185. See also Edgar Lustgarten, _Verdict in Dispute_ (London: Allan Wingate, 1949). - - - -*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL’S PARADISE *** - -***** This file should be named 41647-0.txt or 41647-0.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - https://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/ - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will -be renamed. - -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the -United States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. Special rules, set forth in the General Terms of Use part -of this license, apply to copying and distributing Project -Gutenberg-tm electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm -concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: A Fool's Paradise - An Original Play in Three Acts - -Author: Sydney Grundy - -Release Date: December 18, 2012 [EBook #41647] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - - - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - - -AN ORIGINAL PLAY - -IN THREE ACTS. - -BY - -SYDNEY GRUNDY. -____________________________________________ - -_Copyright,_ 1898, _by Thomas Henry French._ -____________________________________________ - - -London: | New York: -SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. | T. HENRY FRENCH, -PUBLISHERS, | PUBLISHER, -89, STRAND. | 26, WEST 22nd STREET. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE - -_Produced at the Garrick Theatre on Saturday, -January 2nd, 1892._ - - CHARACTERS. - -Lord Normantower MR. F. KERR. -Sir Peter Lund, Bart., M.D., F.R.S. MR. JOHN HARE. -Philip Selwyn MR. H. B. IRVING. -Hon. Tom Verinder MR. GILBERT HARE. -Price MR. S. B. BRERETON. -Kate Derwent MISS KATE RORKE. -Beatrice Selwyn MISS OLGA NETHERSOLE. -Mildred Selwyn MISS BEATRICE FERRAR. -Johnson MISS MINNA BLAKISTON. -______________________________ - -ACT I.--THE HALL, AT RAVENHURST, -_Philip Selwyn's Country House, near St. Alban's, Herts._ - -_A Week Elapses._ - -ACT II.--THE BOUDOIR. -_Morning._ - -ACT III.--THE BOUDOIR -_Night._ - - -NECESSARY PROPERTIES. - -ACT I.--On R. table: China Bowl, books in case, newspapers, photo -views, three letters and newspaper through post. Book on sofa. -_Ready:_ Tennis ball to throw on from between C. doors and R.W. Tennis -bat for Kate R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Basket of cut flowers for Kate. -Work bag containing balls of wool and needles, and an apple, for -Mildred. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - -ACT II.--Water bottle and glass, magazine, and Punch, on L. table. -Fire lighted. The hearth should be a solid sheet of slate for glass to -break easily. Bell rope on flat, R. of opening R.C., bell pull on flat -L., below fire-place. _Ready:_ Medicine bottle and glass, L.D. _Hand -Properties:_ Water can (no water) for Kate. Two certificates of -marriage, and one of death for Sir Peter. Cigarettes in case for -Normantower. - -ACT III.--Clear chair from back of table, and water bottle. Lighted -lamp on piano. Ditto on pedestal in conservatory L.C. Small ditto on -table, L.C. _Ready_ R.U.D.: Six cups of coffee on salver, sugar and -milk on small salver. _Ready_ L.D.: Medicine bottle, wine glass and -poison phial. Flower pot to smash on stone, R.U.E. Alarm bell to ring -R.U.E. Large lock to work, R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Book for Sir -Peter. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - -ACT I. - -SCENE.--_The Hall of an old-fashioned Country House with staircase. -Door C. Entrance, L. Door, R. Windows at back, looking into grounds. -Letters on table. Gong._ - -_TOM and MILDRED discovered together. MILDRED on sofa, L.C., TOM on -foot-stool at her feet R. of her. She has some work in her hand, and a -ball of wool in a satchel. [Note for TOM.--Before curtain rises, tie -wool to button on waistcoat, and see the wool is free to "payout" for -business.]_ - -TOM. Come, Mildred dear, say "Yes." - -MIL. But I can't say "Yes." - -TOM. You might help a fellow a bit. I never proposed to anybody -before, and I daresay I've done it very badly---- - -MIL. No, Tom, you've done it very well. - -TOM. (_rises and sits beside her, arm round her waist_) Say "Yes," -then. Of course, I'm not good enough for a girl like you. But I may be -some day. My brother Ned's a confirmed bachelor, and it's just on the -cards I may be the next Earl of Normantower. - -MIL. Yes, Tom, that's just it. I'm not fit to be a Countess. - -TOM. Not fit to be a Countess? Why, some of 'em are awful. - -MIL. My brother wouldn't hear of it, I'm sure. - -TOM. Well, then, you shan't be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor's -always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan't -come in for the title. You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would -you? - -MIL. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn't. - -TOM. (_half embracing her_) Say "Yes," then. - -MIL. Someone's coming! (_TOM runs to opposite side of the stage and -sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table_) - -_Enter KATE DERWENT from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of -flowers._ - -KATE. Well, children! (_comes down, puts basket of flowers on back of -table, R.C., and goes down to C._) - -TOM. (_aside_) Children! - -KATE. Why aren't you out of doors this beautiful morning? - -MIL. Oh, I wanted to finish this slipper. - -KATE. (_catching sight of the thread of wool, the end of which has got -entangled on TOM'S button and which stretches across the stage, -connecting the two_) Really? And you, Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. I? I was reading Hiawatha. - -KATE. You don't say so! (_picking up the thread and drawing them -together_) Now, how dare you tell me such stories? (_breaks the -thread, throws it to MILDRED, crosses TOM to R. of table and fills a -vase with flowers from her basket_) - -TOM. It's no use trying to deceive you, Miss Derwent. I've been making -love to Mildred. - -KATE. Making love at ten o'clock in the morning? I'm ashamed of you. -It's almost as bad as playing cards by daylight. - -TOM. (C.) I want her to marry me and she won't! She says my family's -too good for her--as if anything could be too good for Mildred! I'm -sure the Verinders are poor enough. As for me, she forgets my father -was cut off with a shilling, and blew'd the lot? - -KATE. (R.C.) Blew'd the lot. - -MIL. Tom means, his father spent it. (_C.L. of TOM_) - -KATE. Spent the shilling? - -TOM. Every penny of it. Oh, we're a reckless lot, we Verinders! - -_PHILIP SELWYN enters C. from L., he places his stick in stand L. of -C. door, hat on small table up R.C., and goes slowly down to -fire-place, R._ - -MIL. And why was he cut off with the shilling? - -TOM. Because he married the girl he wanted; instead of a girl he -didn't want; and his son's going to do the same. (_placing his arm -round her and taking her down to L.C._) - -KATE. Ah, Mr. Verinder! Marriage is a serious responsibility. (_goes -to C., basket in hand_) - -TOM. It's serious when you marry the wrong person, but I'm going to -marry the right one. - -KATE. Yes, but who is the right one? - -PHIL. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (_sits, opening -letters, in arm-chair R. of table_) - -TOM. (_advances to C._) _You_ think so, Mr. Selwyn? (_turns to -MILDRED, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and -finds an apple which he eats_) - -KATE. (_sits R.C._) Because you have been fortunate in your choice, -but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often -unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. (_filling a bowl -on table, with flowers_) - -PHIL. I haven't found it so! and mine was a love match, if ever there -was one. I met my wife quite casually at Brighton--fell in love, -proposed, was accepted and married, all within a month. - -KATE. You married in haste. - -PHIL. And by all the laws of cynical philosophy, I ought to have -repented at leisure. (_BEATRICE SELWYN enters, L. down staircase -unobserved, and crosses slowly to back of table R.C._) But I haven't -repented. To the confusion of the philosophers, I'm the happiest -husband and have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. (_turns to KATE, his mouth full of apple_) There, Miss Derwent! -What do you say to that? (_turns to MILDRED_) - -KATE. That is one side of the picture, but I've seen the other. My -mother also married for love. - -PHIL. And what was the consequence? - -KATE. That her daughter will never marry. - -BEA. (_softly_) Don't say that, Miss Derwent. (_all start slightly, -KATE rises, and sits again almost immediately, still filling bowl with -flowers_) You are always severe on the gentlemen, but don't be so hard -on them as that. - -PHIL. Good gracious, Mousey, how you startled me! Your footsteps are -so fairy-like, one never knows where you are. - -BEA. Moral: never tell secrets to Miss Derwent, when you think I'm not -listening. - -PHIL. My dear, it's no secret that I have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. Everybody thinks that, Mrs. Selwyn. (_going up C. towards her_) - -BEA. (_goes to TOM, C._) Not everybody. To wit--Sir Peter Lund. - -MIL. Oh, what does it matter what that grumpy old bear thinks? (_goes -to L. of sofa, and round behind it_) - -BEA. (_crosses TOM to sofa, L.C., picks up a book and sits almost -reclining, her back to PHIL. and KATE. TOM goes up C. and remains in -doorway_) My dear Mildred, Sir Peter Lund is a most able and -distinguished man. Having made his fortune as a fashionable physician, -he has almost retired from the active pursuit of his profession to -devote himself to his innumerable appointments, and to the -transactions of all sorts of royal and learned societies, where the -clearing of his erudite throat is the signal of the most reverential -attention. (_TOM signals to MILDRED who joins him up C._) - -KATE. And well it may be. - -BEA. Forgive me, I quite forgot he was a friend of yours. - -PHIL. And mine as well, my dear. When Sir Peter was an ordinary family -practitioner, he brought both Mildred and myself into the world, he -attended my father in his last illness, and in spite of the multitude -of his engagements, he is good enough to take an interest in us still. -What could be kinder than his voluntary proposal to run down here and -see me, simply because he had heard casually that I was rather out of -sorts? - -KATE. Sir Peter is coming here? - -PHIL. I expect him this morning. - -BEA. I can only wonder that in "the multitude of his engagements" he -can find the leisure. - -PHIL. Sir Peter is one of those wonderful men, who get through the -work of a dozen, yet never seem to have anything to do. - -KATE. (_rises_) Who can always find time for an act of kindness, and -are never too busy to remember an old friend. (_goes up and puts -basket on table at back R.C., and joins TOM and MILDRED._) - -BEA. Well, I will make him as comfortable as I can. - -PHIL. I know you will, and the more you see of him the more you will -like him. (_opening another letter_) Hallo! Tom, a letter from your -brother. - -TOM. Ned! (_comes down L. of table, MILDRED L. of TOM._) - -PHIL. "A thousand thanks, old man, for your kind invitation to stay -with you while Normantower is being prepared for the reception of my -august person! How glad I shall be to shake hands with you once more! -Expect me when you see me. Yours as always, Ned. P.S.--Fancy you -putting up my cub of a brother! Surely the stables were good enough -for him." - -MIL. Well, I declare! - -TOM. Ned always talks like that; but he's a very good brother to me, -and always down with the dust, when he's any dust to down with. -(_takes her up C. rejoining KATE_) - -BEA. (_rises, crosses to L. of table, puts book in case on table, and -then gets back of table, L. of PHILIP_) You see, Phil, Lord -Normantower is quite grateful for your invitation. - -PHIL. It was a happy thought of yours to suggest it; but when aren't -your thoughts happy? They are always of others. (_BEATRICE kisses -him._) - -_Enter PRICE, L.D._ - -PRI. Sir Peter Lund. (_BEATRICE comes down C. KATE down R.C. corner of -table, TOM and MILDRED behind arm-chair R._) - -_Enter SIR PETER LUND. He comes to L.C._ - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to SIR PETER, taking his hand_) Welcome to -Ravenhurst! I scarcely expected you so soon. You must have risen early -this morning. (_exit PRICE with SIR PETER'S hat and stick L.D._) - -SIR P. Always get up at five. (_crosses to BEATRICE_) How are you? -(_shakes hands with BEATRICE_) How d'ye do? (_crosses BEATRICE to -KATE, and waves his hand to TOM and MILDRED_) How are you, boy? - -BEA. Always get up at five? (_L. of SIR PETER_) - -PHIL. And never goes to bed before two. It's a marvel to me how you do -it! (_front of sofa_) - -SIR PETER. (_crosses to PHIL._) It's a marvel to me how you don't do -it. That's why you are out of sorts. You eat too much. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Drink too much. - -BEA. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Sleep too much. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. (_turning on the ladies_) So do you! - -BEA. (_turning to KATE_) Oh! (_TOM and MILDRED steal off into the -grounds, C. to R._) - -SIR P. Of course you do. Everybody does. (_watch_) What time's the -next up train? - -PHIL. You're not thinking of going already? - -SIR P. Certainly not. Not going for ten minutes. - -BEA. Surely you'll stay to lunch? - -SIR P. Lunch, what d'you want with lunch? If you've an appetite for -dinner, thank heaven for it, and don't go and spoil it with lunch. - -BEA. Do you ever eat? - -SIR P. Eat? Like a cormorant. - -PHIL. Drink? - -SIR P. Like a fish. (_PHILIP reclines on sofa, R. of it_) - -KATE. Sleep? - -SIR P. Like a humming-top! - -BEA. But you say, you oughtn't. - -SIR P. Well? Do you never do what you oughtn't! I do. (_turns up to -head of sofa and surveys PHILIP through pince-nez_) - -BEA. Since Sir Peter is so pressed for time---- - -SIR P. Pressed for time? Not at all. (_getting behind sofa still -looking at PHILIP_) - -BEA. I understood you---- - -SIR P. You misunderstood me. - -BEA. At any rate we'd better leave you with your patient. Come, Miss -Derwent--(_bows--SIR PETER bows. Exit with KATE into grounds, C. to -R._) (_SIR PETER turns up stage and watches them off, then comes down, -moves chair R. of sofa towards PHILIP, and sits_) - -SIR P. Well, what's the matter with you? - -PHIL. Really, Sir Peter! That's what I want you to tell me. - -SIR P. You have a high opinion of the medical profession. Do you -suppose we can tell you anything, if you don't tell us first? - -PHIL. I have always supposed so. - -SIR P. Error, sir. You tell us everything we tell you. The only -difference is, you tell us in English, and we tell you in Latin. You -take a fee out of your pocket; we put one in ours. - -PHIL. Well, doctor, I can't tell you what's the matter with me. I -should very much like to know. - -SIR P. Why! What has it to do with _you?_ - -PHIL. (_smiling_) A great deal unhappily. - -SIR P. Vulgar fallacy. A patient's complaint concerns nobody but his -doctor. (_feels pulse--watch in hand_) - -PHIL. I have no energy. I don't take my usual interest in what goes on -around me. One day I'm restless--another, lethargic. There's nothing -particular the matter with me, but I seem to have no pleasure in -existence; and instead of getting better, I get worse. - -SIR P. (_shuts watch_) Happy at home? (_after feeling his hand_) - -PHIL. Perfectly. - -SIR P. How has your marriage answered? - -PHIL. My wife is simply a treasure. - -SIR P. (_dryly_) Oh! Any money difficulties? - -PHIL. None. My father left me beyond reach of any trouble of that -sort. - -SIR P. Any pain? (_feeling his chest_) - -PHIL. No. - -SIR P. I see, Miss Derwent is still with you. - -PHIL. And I hope, will remain. Beatrice wouldn't be without her for -the world, and I think Mildred almost worships her. I can't -sufficiently thank you for the introduction. - -SIR P. How's your appetite? - -PHIL. It varies. - -SIR P. I thought Miss Derwent would suit you. I picked her up at -Guy's. She was a nurse there. Something about her struck me. Has it -struck you? - -PHIL. What? - -SIR P. Her likeness to your father. - -PHIL. Well, now you mention it, there is a likeness. - -SIR P. Sleep pretty well? - -PHIL. Too well. I'm always drowsy. - -SIR P. So, altogether, you're quite a happy family? - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. With more money than I know what to do with, heir -to a name that is honoured wherever it is known, the husband of the -dearest wife in the world, I sometimes think I am the happiest man on -earth. - -SIR P. Humph. - -PHIL. You smile. - -SIR P. I seem to have dropped into a little paradise. - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. - -SIR P. Where's the serpent? - -PHIL. The serpent? - -SIR P. There was a serpent even in paradise. - -PHIL. There's none in mine. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'm sorry to hear it. (_crosses to C._) There is only -one sort of paradise in which there is no serpent. - -PHIL. What sort do you mean? - -SIR P. (C.) A fool's. (_takes snuff and goes to hearthrug, R., back to -fire-place_) - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to R.C. and sits L. of table_) You are plain -spoken, Sir Peter. Now tell me with equal candour what is the matter -with me. Perhaps that is the serpent. - -SIR P. Shall I tell you the truth? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. I don't know. - -PHIL. Surely, with your experience---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no experience. - -PHIL. Well, with your knowledge---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no knowledge. Knowledge is the monopoly of -extremely young practitioners. I have been doctoring for forty years; -and now, I stand here on your hearthrug, sir, a monument of triumphant -ignorance. - -PHIL. Nonsense, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. Sense, sir, sense. - -PHIL. Be candid and tell me frankly what is wrong with me. - -SIR P. Your liver, probably. - -PHIL. Only my liver? - -SIR P. (_advances to table_) Don't speak disparagingly of your liver, -sir. That eminently respectable organ has been much misunderstood. It -is commonly supposed to serve certain functional purposes in the -physical economy. Another fallacy! The liver was made, by a beautiful -provision of nature, for the benefit of the medical profession. (_sits -in arm-chair, R._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. from R._ - -MIL. Phil, here's Lord Normantower. (_MILDRED runs on to back of -table, followed by TOM, who gets R. of sofa, and sits on arm of it. -SIR PETER rises and goes down two steps, R._) - -PHIL. Ned! (_rises and turns up to meet LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -TOM. He's so brown, and he's grown such a beard! - -NOR. (_up C._) Well, Phil, old man, how are you? - -PHIL. (_they come down stage together, C., PHILIP on R. of LORD -NORMANTOWER, MILDRED crosses behind them to back of sofa, L. of TOM_) -My dear Ned! I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. Sir Peter -Lund--Lord Normantower. How kind of you to come and stop with us! How -pleasant it will be to chat over old times! But first of all, let me -congratulate you on your new dignity. - -NOR. Dignity? My dear Phil, I have no dignity. I am a born Bohemian, -and the idea of me dropping in for a peerage strikes me as so -ludicrous, I've done nothing but laugh ever since I became a -hereditary legislator. (_laughs_) - -TOM. Ha, ha, ha! - -NOR. (_suddenly serious_) What's the matter with you? - -TOM. Fancy Ned a legislator! - -NOR. Even Tom sees the joke. (_throws hat to TOM_) - -_TOM, suddenly serious, turns up to be consoled by MILDRED; exeunt, C. -to R.; TOM hanging LORD NORMANTOWER'S hat on stick in stand._ - -PHIL. Lord Normantower and I were at Oxford together. We became great -friends; and though circumstances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite lost sight of one another. - -NOR. I haven't the pleasure of knowing Sir Peter myself, but I believe -other members of my family have had that privilege. - -SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER, C._) Sir, I had the honour of -attending the last three Earls of Normantower. Your uncle--gout; your -cousin Richard--lungs; your cousin John--delirium--humph--delirium! -(_PHILIP drops down, R.C._) - -NOR. (_throws gloves on table, L.C._) That branch of the family -disposed of, the peerage devolved on me as the eldest son of my poor -father--the only Verinder who never enjoyed the title, and the only -one who deserved it. - -SIR P. (_shaking him by the hand_) I quite agree with you. (_turns up -C._) - -PHIL. Let us hope his son will be worthy of him. - -NOR. (_sits in chair R. of sofa_) Ah, well, I'll do my best; but ten -thousand a year, paid quarterly in advance, would have suited Ned -Verinder's book better than an empty honour without a shilling to -support it. - -PHIL. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER_) Well, there's one consolation. -If it's a difficult matter for a peer to make money, it's very easy -for him to marry it. (_SIR PETER comes down to fire-place, R._) - -NOR. Marry? Not me! No! I was born a bachelor, and am not going to fly -in the face of Providence. - -PHIL. You don't believe in marriage? - -NOR. Of course there are exceptions; and I hope from the bottom of my -heart, yours is one of them. I haven't seen your wife yet, you know. - -PHIL. I've married a most charming woman, Ned--haven't I, Sir Peter? -(_going to L. of table, R.C._) - -SIR P. (_picks up Punch from table, R._) Sir--your wife is my hostess, -and one's hostess is always charming. (_bows and turns off--sitting -R., reading_) - -NOR. A charming woman? You arouse painful memories. I once knew a -charming woman. To be quite frank, I was engaged to one. - -PHIL. (_goes to LORD NORMANTOWER_) You have been engaged to be -married! I never heard of it. - -NOR. No, I kept it quiet. So did she. (_BEATRICE enters, C., from R., -pausing to look in at window, R.C., and comes down behind chair, -R.C._) At the time, there was not the remotest likelihood of my ever -succeeding to the title, and of course I was hard up. I always was. A -gilded calf appeared upon the scene; and the charming woman wrote me a -charming letter, protesting eternal fidelity, and announcing her -approaching marriage. - -PHIL. To the calf? - -NOR. To the gilt. - -PHIL. You had a lucky escape. - -NOR. Luckier than I thought: for I discovered afterwards that the -charming creature was a regular adventuress--a garrison hack--a -boarding-house belle--the sole support of an aged father--a venerable -old gentleman, with the manners of a patriarch and the morals of a -welsher! She was a charming woman, for all that. - -PHIL. I congratulate you on your escape. But who was the unfortunate -calf? - -NOR. I never took the trouble to inquire. - -BEA. (_advancing--all start slightly as before_) And the charming -creature? Pray, who was she? (_C.R. of PHILIP_) - -NOR. (_rises_) Miss Challoner! - -PHIL. (_proudly--introducing BEATRICE_) My wife. (_NORMANTOWER bows_) -You know one another. - -BEA. (_with perfect self-possession_) I believe, now that I see Lord -Normantower, I once had the pleasure of meeting him. (_crosses to -NORMANTOWER_) Let me see--where was it? - -NOR. It sounds ungallant to say so, but I really forget for the -moment. - -BEA. Well, never mind that now. Tell us who was the lady who used you -so shamefully. I am dying to know. (_looking him straight in the -face_) - -NOR. You must excuse me. Though I am ungallant enough to forget where -I met Mrs. Selwyn, I am not so unchivalrous as to betray a lady's -secret. (_moves away to L.C. in front of sofa_) - -BEA. (_goes to PHILIP, R.C._) Phil, dear, your friend is quite a hero -of romance. If you have any more such friends, please lose no time in -introducing them. - -PHIL. My love, don't make me jealous. (_BEATRICE goes to NORMANTOWER. -PHILIP turns and speaks to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_giving her hand frankly to NORMANTOWER_) Thank you, Lord -Normantower. - -NOR. (_taking her hand, rather disconcerted_) For what, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. For your loyalty--to my sex. (_turns off up stage to back of -table, calling SIR PETER, who rises and joins her. She shows him a -book, which she takes from table_) - -PHIL. (_crosses to NORMANTOWER, takes his arm, and draws him back to -sofa_) You've had a narrow escape, evidently; but don't make the -mistake of letting the unworthiness of one woman blind you to the -merits of the rest. Believe me, there is no happiness like that of -married love. (_sits on sofa. SIR PETER is looking at book; BEATRICE -listening to conversation_) - -NOR. (_sits L. of PHILIP_) Love! there is no such thing. We think we -are in love, but we aren't. What is called love is an affliction of -the brain, not an affection of the heart. Luckily, we soon get over -it. - -BEA. Men may--but women, never. Do they, Sir Peter? - -SIR P. I never offer an opinion on matters I don't -understand--(_lifting his forefinger_)--unless, mark, they are -strictly medical. Love has no place in the British pharmacopæa. (_goes -down R. of table, BEATRICE L. of it. She shows him some photographic -views_) - -PHIL. Yet it exists. I have even known cases of love at sight. - -NOR. Love at sight! Now you're going too far for anything. I can -imagine an enthusiast believing even in love, but love at sight! -(_rises_) No, my dear Phil, that's too ridicu---- (_a tennis ball -comes flying in from the grounds, rolling down to L. corner; -NORMANTOWER picks it up and gets L.C._) - -_KATE runs in after the ball, C. from R., she has a tennis bat in her -hand, and comes down C._ - -KATE. (_speaking off, as she enters_) Stay where you are! I'll get it -for you, children! (_stops_) Has anybody seen---- Oh! there it is! -(_seeing it in NORMANTOWER'S hand_) - -NOR. Allow me---- (_goes to C. and gives it to KATE_) - -KATE. Thank you, very much. (_running out_) Here you are! Catch! -(_throwing ball off R. Exit KATE; NORMANTOWER turns up C., and stands -gazing after her; pause. PHILIP rises and goes L._) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) Who is that lady? (_comes down C. to sofa_) - -PHIL. (L.) That's Miss Derwent. - -NOR. And who is Miss Derwent? - -BEA. (R.C.) Only a companion. (_coldly_) - -PHIL. You'll be delighted with her, when you know her, as of course -you will, if you stay with us for a week or two. - -NOR. I'll stop for a month. (_sits on sofa_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) Well, my ten minutes are up. (_crosses to C._) Before -I go I'd like to see you alone. (_to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_turns up L. behind sofa_) Come to my room. (_to NORMANTOWER, -over back of sofa_) We shan't be very long. Meanwhile, I leave you in -good company. (_goes to foot of stairs L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_goes up C. to SIR PETER_) Good-bye, Sir Peter--if I don't see -you again. - -SIR P. You will see me again. I'll stay to lunch after all. (_follows -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_going upstairs_) That's right, doctor. Give yourself a holiday -for once. (_exit L._) - -BEA. (_following SIR PETER to foot of stairs_) But your patients? What -will they do without you? (_smiling sweetly_) - -SIR P. (_on stairs_) What will they do? Recover. (_exit L._) - -_BEATRICE stands at the foot of the stairs, watching them off. -NORMANTOWER is sitting with his back to staircase. He rises and -crosses thoughtfully to R.C. corner of table. BEATRICE advances and -stands looking at him._ - -NOR. Are they gone? - -BEA. (C.) Yes. Oh, Ned, can you ever forgive me? (_L. of NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Forgive you? I forgave you long ago. Indeed I am grateful to you -for teaching me a lesson which I shall never forget. - -BEA. You are cruel; but I suppose I deserve it. (_on a line with -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. My grievance is a thing of the past. I have no wish to injure you -or to cause you pain, and I should not have expressed myself so freely -just now, had I known that you were present or that I was speaking of -the wife of a friend. (_a step down_) - -BEA. You have been misinformed. There is not a word of truth in what -you have heard about me. - -NOR. No doubt. People exaggerate so. (_standing below her_) - -BEA. They invent so. - -NOR. They invent so. - -BEA. And you have believed them! What must you think of me? (_moves -away a little_) - -NOR. To be perfectly frank, Mrs. Selwyn, I endeavour not to think of -you at all. (_goes to fireplace R._) - -BEA. (_goes up to L. of table_) You have forgotten me? You have -stripped me from your mind? - -NOR. I have done my best to forget you. (_leans on mantel, his back to -her_) - -BEA. (_moving away_) And this is constancy! (_down to L._) - -NOR. (_faces round_) Constancy! I am not more punctilious than most -men, but surely it is scarcely my duty to be constant to a woman who -has become the wife of another. (_advances to R.C._) - -BEA. (_goes up to C._) Ah! it is easy to talk of one's duty but it is -not always so easy to do it. (_NORMANTOWER looks at her_) Ned--may I -call you so? Let me tell you the secret of my life. - -NOR. You have a secret? (_comes to her C._) - -BEA. Yes--_I_ was always constant. I was forced into this marriage. -The letter I wrote breaking off our engagement was dictated to me. I -never loved my husband. (_turns away to L.C._) - -NOR. (C.) Mrs. Selwyn, you forget, your husband is my friend. If you -didn't know it when he asked me here, you know it now. - -BEA. (_turns to him_) I always knew it. It was I who suggested the -invitation. I could bear my unhappiness no longer. I felt I must see -you again. Oh, if you could only look into my heart! Ned! Though I -used you badly, you are bitterly avenged! (_drops into sofa L.C., and -buries her face in her hands_) - -NOR. (_goes up to head of sofa, looking down on her_) I have no wish -to be avenged. I loved you--I lost you--and there is an end of it. -(_turns up C._) - -BEA. (_rising_) Why was I born a woman? (_crosses to R.C. corner of -table_) Why was I not a man? To amuse myself just for the moment, and -then to be able to forget! - -NOR. (_comes down behind chair R.C._) You do us an injustice. We men -are not so inconstant as you think. Sometimes we pretend to forget -what we are half ashamed to remember. (_BEATRICE listens intently, -watching him out of the corner of her eyes_) But the past is past. You -are a wife now. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. If I were not a wife? - -NOR. Then, it would be different. - -BEA. (_close to him_) Hush! I have said, I do not love my husband; and -if you say that, you will make me hate him. To think that he--and he -alone--stands between me and happiness. - -NOR. Beatrice! (_recoiling_) - -BEA. Don't shrink from me! Is it so wicked to want to be happy? -(_touching him_) - -NOR. Happy? - -BEA. If I were only free! (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. (C.) You forget, though I have dropped in for a title, I am -almost as poor as ever. - -BEA. (_goes up to him_) But I am not. (_laying her hand on his arm_) -Philip has left me everything if I survive him. - -_SIR PETER appears at the top of the staircase; she turns off -suddenly, crossing NORMANTOWER, who goes down to R.C._ - -BEA. (_goes towards foot of stairs_) Well, doctor, how do you find -your patient? (_up C._) - -SIR P. (_up L.C._) Your husband is more seriously ill than I -anticipated. (_she glances at NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Ill! - -BEA. What is the matter with him? - -SIR P. (_R. of chair, L.C._) Something occult--that's why I call it -serious. There is nothing so serious as the unknown. (_NORMANTOWER -turns up R. and looks out at window_) - -BEA. Something _you_ can't make out? It must be occult indeed. - -SIR P. (_goes to front of sofa L.C._) But something I _hope_ to make -out before I go. - -BEA. Then you propose to stay here? (_disconcerted_) - -SIR P. With your permission--for to-night, at any rate. - -BEA. I'll have a room prepared for you at once. (_about to go L.U.E., -returns C. and works to R.C._) - -SIR P. Don't trouble. The orders are already given. I've taken the -liberty of choosing my own quarters. They open on the terrace, so I -can take the air in the morning without disturbing the household. -(_sits on sofa_) - -_Re-enter C. from. R., KATE DERWENT from grounds, TOM and MILDRED -running up with her to the doors C. NORMANTOWER goes slowly down to R. -corner._ - -KATE. That'll do, children, I'm quite out of breath. (_comes down C. -TOM and MILDRED run off into grounds L._) - -BEA. I am afraid the children give you no rest, Miss Derwent. (_R.C., -L. of table_) - -KATE. Oh, I don't mind. I like it. I was a dreadful tomboy myself, -when I was their age. I haven't forgotten how to play leap-frog yet. - -BEA. Your memory is really wonderful. - -KATE. And I believe I could give as good a back--(_stooping to give a -back, NORMANTOWER down R. laughs. Catching sight of NORMANTOWER, puts -her hand to her mouth and stops short_) - -BEA. (_obliged to introduce them_) Lord Normantower--Miss Derwent. -(_he bows_) - -KATE. (_nodding_) How d'ye do? (_turns and speaks to SIR PETER_). - -BEA. (_turns to NORMANTOWER, R._) You have not been here -lately--Philip has made such improvements! You'll scarcely know the -old place again. May I have the pleasure of showing it you? - -NOR. I shall be delighted. (_BEATRICE turns up a few steps C., -NORMANTOWER crosses to KATE, C._) Perhaps Miss Derwent will come with -us. (_BEATRICE bites her lips_) - -SIR P. (_rising_) Miss Derwent will stop here. (_BEATRICE smiles -maliciously_) I want to speak to her. - -KATE. You, doctor? (_SIR PETER goes L. and round behind sofa to C. as -BEATRICE and NORMANTOWER exit_) - -NOR. (_reluctantly_) Good-bye then, for the present. - -KATE. Au revoir! (_goes to L.C., NORMANTOWER is "struck," and suddenly -remembering turns. Exeunt LORD NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE into grounds -C. to R._) - -SIR P. (_SIR PETER after watching them off, comes down R. of sofa and -points_) Sit down. - -KATE. Don't order me about in that way, doctor. We're not in the -hospital now. - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sits, in burlesque obedience. He sits_) First -let me deliver my messages. The entire medical staff at Guy's send you -their kindest regards. (_Both on sofa, KATE L., SIR PETER R._) - -KATE. (_facing audience_) That's very nice of them. On your return, -doctor, will you be so good as to give my kindest regards to the -entire medical staff at Guy's? - -SIR P. The house-surgeon, Mr. Kennedy, I regret to say, sends you his -love. - -KATE. Will you also give my love to Mr. Kennedy? - -SIR P. The students send you a kiss apiece. - -KATE. Will you please kiss the students all round. (_SIR PETER makes a -gesture of objection._) - -SIR P. Are you sorry you changed your position? - -KATE. No, Sir Peter. I have been very happy here. Mr. Selwyn has -always treated me with such consideration that, I am afraid, sometimes -I forget that I am not one of the family; Mrs. Selwyn has never been -_unkind_ to me, and Mildred I have learnt to love almost as a sister. - -SIR P. Good. My object in introducing you here being accomplished, I -feel myself at liberty to explain it. The medical profession has its -romantic episodes. I am going to tell you one. - -KATE. Go on. I love romances. (_faces SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Three years ago, a patient of mine died--nothing remarkable in -that--it's a habit my patients have--leaving a grown-up son and a -young daughter to inherit his very considerable fortune. He died -beloved by his children and respected by all who knew him, but on his -deathbed he confided to me a secret. He was a thief and a bigamist. -When very young he had married a rich lady. This marriage he had -concealed, and under a false name had married again. For some years he -had lived a double life and had two families. By his first and lawful -wife he had one child--a daughter; and having contrived to possess -himself of the whole of this lady's fortune, ultimately he deserted -her. The fortune of the first wife he left to his children by the -second, who are to this day quite unconscious of their father's crime. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. In his later years, he had searched privately for his first -wife and child, but he could find no trace of them. That search he -bequeathed to me, and a pretty legacy it's been! For a long time my -inquiries were unavailing, but at last I discovered that the mother -was dead. - -KATE. And the daughter? - -SIR P. Was one of my own nurses at Guy's Hospital. - -KATE. At Guy's! - -SIR P. I had known her by sight for months, but had not happened to -hear her name--Kate Derwent. - -KATE. (_rising_) I? - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sinks back into seat_) What was I to do? All -this man's children were my personal friends. The two, who had legally -inherited your mother's fortune, morally were not entitled to a -shilling. You, who legally are penniless, morally are entitled to it -all. If ever there was a case for an amicable arrangement, this was -one; and I thought it would facilitate a settlement, if you were all -made acquainted with one another. With that object I introduced you -into this house. - -KATE. Surely you cannot mean---- - -SIR P. I can--I do. - -KATE. That Mr. Selwyn--(_rising_) - -SIR P. Is your brother. - -KATE. Mildred---- - -SIR P. Your sister. - -KATE. And their father---- - -SIR P. Yours. Now comes the question; what is to be done? - -KATE. (_with determination_) Nothing. - -SIR P. How nothing? - -KATE. You say they don't know anything. Not that their father -was--(_stops short_) - -SIR P. A scoundrel? No. - -KATE. Not that their mother---- - -SIR P. Was his victim? No. - -KATE. Not who I am? - -SIR P. Not who you are. - -KATE. Then, let them never know it. (_crosses to R.C., L. of table_) - -SIR P. Nonsense. I must see you properly provided for. - -KATE. I am provided for. (_gets C._) I have earned my living for -years, and I can earn it to the end. I am not used to wealth, and -should not know what to do with it. They are, and could not be happy -without it. Let them remain in ignorance of the truth. - -SIR P. (_rises and goes towards her, C._) Miss Derwent, you are a most -extraordinary person. I tell you, you are entitled to a fortune, and -you don't ask how much it is. A woman--and no curiosity. - -KATE. I don't care how much it is or how little. I don't want to know. -(_turns away to front of table_) - -SIR P. This is a matter of no less than two hundred thousand pounds. -Well? - -KATE. I said nothing. - -SIR P. Then will you please say something? - -KATE. I have nothing to say. - -SIR P. A woman--and nothing to say. You regard two hundred thousand -pounds with contempt. Think, how many new frocks it would buy. (_going -to her_) - -KATE. I do not regard money with contempt; for money can sometimes buy -happiness. But we are all perfectly happy as we are. Why do you want -to disturb us? - -SIR P. (_R. of table_) You think only of the present; but consider the -future. Some day, you may have a daughter of your own---- - -KATE. No, I shall never marry. - -SIR P. Never what? - -KATE. I am in earnest. (_goes down a few steps, R.C._) - -SIR P. A woman--and not want to be married! Hang me, if I believe -you're a woman at all! (_goes to L.C._) - -KATE. Why? Because I want to be generous? - -SIR P. (_above KATE_) Miss Derwent, there is a higher virtue than -generosity, and that is justice. It is easy enough to be generous, but -it hard indeed to be just--especially to oneself. This is a question -of pounds, shillings, and pence. - -KATE. (_works up to C._) Pardon me, Sir Peter--this is a question of -breaking the hearts of those who were kind to me when I needed -kindness, who befriended me when I was alone in the world, whom I have -already learned to love almost as what they are--my brother and -sister. Their father--my father--is dead, but his memory is dear to -them. I know they loved him--and I know they honoured him. How can I -imperil that love, and how can I stultify that honour? How can I cloud -the sunshine of my sister's life with the shadow of her father's sin? -No, Sir Peter! If that is justice, justice is beyond me. I am only -equal to generosity. I _am_ a woman, only a woman--and I can't do it. -Not for a hundred fortunes! Not for all the world. (_goes to L. of -table and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes up to C._) Yes, you are a woman after all--and as -self-willed and silly as the rest. To throw away two hundred thousand -pounds! Why, I've decimated my fellow creatures for half that. It's -wicked--positively wicked. You deserve to die in a ditch. - -KATE. (_rises_) I will die where heaven wills it, but I shall at least -have the consciousness that I have done something to repair my -father's wrong. - -SIR P. Rubbish--romantic rubbish. - -KATE. Promise me that you will keep this secret--that you will say -nothing to my brother--promise me, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. I shall promise nothing. I shall use my own discretion, as I -always do. (_turns off, L.C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter! (_following him_) - -SIR P. You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_)--good, generous, true-hearted girl, and I am -your friend always! Look here! I'm old enough to be your father--(_is -about to kiss her. Re-enter PRICE, R.D.; aside_) Damn that man! (_goes -L., PRICE sounds gong, R., below fire-place_) - -_Music in orchestra till act drop. Re-enter TOM and MILDRED, running -in from grounds, followed by BEATRICE and LORD NORMANTOWER leisurely, -C. from R._ - -TOM. (_throwing his hat on R. table_) Lunch, at last! Aren't I ready -for it? (_runs off, R.D._) - -MIL. (_throwing hers on the table_) Tom! Wait for me. (_runs off -R.D._) - -_KATE looks from MILDRED to SIR PETER pathetically. Exit PRICE, R.D. -PHILIP appears on staircase, slowly coming down._ - -BEA. (_coming down C._) You must be hungry after your journey. (_R. of -LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_coming down C._) Yes, thank heaven, my appetite is as -redoubtable as ever. Miss Derwent may--(_about to offer arm_) - -BEA. (_cutting in_) Sir Peter, will you bring Miss Derwent? - -_LORD NORMANTOWER is obliged to offer his arm to BEATRICE. Exit LORD -NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE, R. SIR PETER offers his arm to KATE whom he -takes R.C._ - -PHIL. (_on stairs_) Stop, doctor, stop. (_comes down to R. of KATE_) -Don't monopolise all the good things. Suppose we go shares. (_offers -his arm to KATE_) - -KATE. (_between the two_) Don't be scandalised. (_to SIR PETER_) Mr. -Selwyn often gives me his arm. Here--(_looking at PHILIP_) I am more -like a friend than a dependant. - -PHIL. (looking at KATE) More like a sister than a friend. (_exeunt, -R.D._) - -SWELL MUSIC. - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty Minutes. Wait: Thirteen Minutes._ - - -ACT II. - -SCENE.--_A Boudoir, opening through a conservatory on to a terrace. -Doors, R. and L. A water jug and goblet on table. A week has elapsed. -Morning. Lights full up. Music for Act Drop._ - -_BEATRICE enters, L., as curtain rises. KATE discovered watering -plants in conservatory, up in opening, R.C._ - -BEA. Good morning, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. Good morning, Mrs. Selwyn. - -BEA. At work, as usual. How industrious you are! (_comes down C., to -sofa_) - -KATE. Yes--I've been saying good-bye to all my favourites. -(_pause--BEATRICE takes up a book--KATE goes on watering the plants_) -How is Mr. Selwyn this morning? - -BEA. He is not so well. (_her back is towards KATE_) - -KATE. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he will be well enough to shake -hands with me before I go. - -BEA. Then you are determined to leave us? - -KATE. (_leaves can up R.C., and comes down C._) I can't tell you how -sorry I am, but I mustn't stop here for ever. Mildred learnt all that -I can teach her long ago; and if I stay much longer, I shall be the -pupil. Since Mr. Verinder's arrival I have had several lessons in the -English language as it is spoken at Eton, and I flatter myself I shall -soon be able to "cackle" as well as if I wore a remarkably short -jacket and remarkably tight inexpressibles. - -BEA. You under-rate your accomplishments. _I_ don't think there is -_much_ that Mildred could teach you. - -KATE. (_grimaces behind her back_) Don't make me blush, my dear. - -BEA. You make _me_ blush sometimes. - -KATE. Then you ought to be extremely obliged to me, for nothing -becomes you better. (_grimaces as before_) Mrs. Selwyn, we are now -quite old friends. I cannot leave Ravenhurst without some little -memento of our companionship--There are no horrid men about to hear -us--Before I go, tell me (_dropping down near BEATRICE into an -attitude of mock earnestness_) oh, tell me---- (_behind sofa R. of -BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Well? - -KATE. The secret of your complexion. - -BEA. (_smiling_) It's a very simple one--Arsenic. - -KATE. (_rises_) Arsenic! But that's a poison. - -BEA. Yes, if you take too much of it; but if you take a little, it---- - -KATE. It what! - -BEA. Improves the complexion. - -KATE. Does it? Where do you get it? - -BEA. From the chemist's, of course. - -KATE. But will they sell it you? - -BEA. Yes, if you're candid and confide in them. My love, if you want -to look better than Nature intended you---- - -KATE. As, of course, I do---- - -BEA. Confide in your chemist. Make some ridiculous excuse--say that -the family cat is in convulsions--and they will sell you nothing. They -know it's absurd. Say that you want to improve your complexion, and -they will sell you anything; they know it's the truth. - -KATE. My dear Mrs. Selwyn--for this information much thanks. (_moves -towards door, R.U.E._) - -BEA. Where are you going? - -KATE. To the chemist's. - -_Enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. May I come in? (_comes well on stage, R.C._) - -KATE. (_up C._) It seems to me you've come. (_between NORMANTOWER and -BEATRICE_) - -NOR. Yes; when I want to do anything particularly, I do it first and -ask permission afterwards. It prevents disappointment, and it's so -very easy to apologise. - -BEA. In this case no apology is needed. - -NOR. (_starting_) Mrs. Selwyn! excuse me for not seeing you. (_crosses -down to BEATRICE, standing R. of sofa. KATE turns up and resumes -watering plants, R.C._) How is Philip to-day? - -BEA. I'm sorry to say my husband is not at all well this morning. - -NOR. Old Lund seems to be making him worse instead of better. - -BEA. Sir Peter has now been here a week, and Philip has grown worse -every day. - -NOR. I'm sure _I_ oughtn't to find fault with Lund; he's polished off -nearly all my relations for me; but I'm not certain that I quite -believe in the old boy. There's too much M.D.F.S.A. about him. I never -knew a fool who hadn't half the alphabet at the end of his name. -(_turns away a few steps_) - -KATE. (_demurely_) At _which_ end my Lord Edward, Arthur, Henry, Earl -of Normantower? (_coming down to R. of NORMANTOWER, R.C., can in -hand. BEATRICE rises and goes to fire L., taking book with her_) - -NOR. Now, that's too bad of you, Miss Derwent. It's not my fault that -I've enough names to christen the family of a curate. - -KATE. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't throw stones at a friend of -mine! (_goes up to opening R.C._) - -NOR. Mine was a very little stone; yours was half a brick. (_KATE -continues watering the plants_) - -PHIL. (_off, L._) Beatrice! - -BEA. My husband! I must leave Miss Derwent to console you. She won't -have many more opportunities. (_goes up L._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! - -BEA. Yes, dear! I'm coming! (_exit L.D._) - -NOR. Not many more opportunities? What does she mean? (_standing -puzzled C.--turning his head to KATE_) - -KATE. (_in conservatory_) Mrs. Selwyn means that I am leaving -Ravenhurst. - -NOR. You're going away! (_goes up to KATE_) - -KATE. This afternoon. (R.) } - } _of opening, R.C._) -NOR. For good? (L.) } - -KATE. For Mrs. Selwyn's good. - -NOR. You don't mean to say she's given you notice. - -KATE. (_comes down R.C., as far as piano_) Mrs. Selwyn is too amiable -to give anybody notice; but when she wants to get rid of them, in the -most charming manner in the world, she makes them so exceedingly -uncomfortable that they give notice themselves. - -NOR. (_comes down L. of her_) But she can't possibly want to get rid -of _you?_ - -KATE. Why not? - -NOR. We're all in love with _you._ - -KATE. Are you? Perhaps that's the reason. Do you like plants? (_turns -suddenly, can in hand, so that the water is supposed to splash -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Blow plants! (_drawing back_) - -KATE. (_stopping_) _What_ plants? (_in opening R.C._) - -NOR. (_goes to fire, L., wiping his coat_) Any plants--all plants--I -hate 'em. - -KATE. (_crosses in conservatory to L.C._) I love them. I have been -watering my pets for the last time. - -NOR. (L.) I see. You've been standing them a parting drink. - -KATE. My lord! (_in opening L.C._) - -NOR. By the way, isn't tobacco very good for plants? (_crossing up to -C._) - -KATE. Excellent. Why do you ask? - -NOR. I was just thinking, while you are watering the plants in the -conservatory, it might be doing them a service if I were to smoke a -cigarette in the conservatory. (_producing case_) - -KATE. (_puts can down, L.C., behind flat, and comes down to -NORMANTOWER, C._) Not for the world! Lord Normantower, let me tell -you a shocking fact. The very odour of tobacco has such an effect upon -me, that if you were to light a cigarette---- - -NOR. (_putting case back_) It would make you uncomfortable? - -KATE. No! I should want to join you. - -NOR. No! - -KATE. There! you're shocked. (_goes down to sofa_) - -NOR. Not a bit of it. I like you, Miss Derwent, because you say what -you mean. - -KATE. Sometimes I say a great deal more than I mean. (_sits on sofa_) - -NOR. And sometimes I mean a great deal more than I can say. Miss -Derwent---- (_behind sofa, R. of KATE_) - -KATE. (_sitting_) Lord Normantower? - -NOR. What a strange thing it is that you have grown this old---- -(_KATE looks at him_) I mean, this young, without being married. - -KATE. I shall never marry. - -NOR. That's exactly my case. I've had one disappointment, and I don't -mean to have another. Once bit, twice shy, they say. - -KATE. _You_ have been bitten? - -NOR. (_goes to R.C._) Badly. But it's all for the best. It's made me -distrustful of women and a confirmed bachelor. (_returns to back of -sofa_) Why do people want to get married? - -KATE. I've often wondered. - -NOR. (_about to take her hand_) Miss Derwent, I've been so awfully -glad I'm a confirmed bachelor, ever since I met _you._ - -KATE. (_removing her hand, which his hand follows_) What difference -can that make? - -NOR. Well, you see, if I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, I might have -been married. - -KATE. Well? - -NOR. (_hand business repeated_) And if I was married, I couldn't marry -again. - -KATE. Of course not. - -NOR. And if I couldn't marry again, I couldn't marry---- - -KATE. Go on. Finish your sentence. - -NOR. (_seizing her hand_) You! - -_Enter SIR PETER, through conservatory, suddenly, R.U.E. They take -opposite sides of the stage; KATE, L.C., NORMANTOWER, R._ - -SIR P. Ah! I saw you! (_comes down C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter, I believe you have eyes in the small of your back. - -SIR P. Yes--and ears too. I heard you. - -NOR. Then, why did you interrupt us? - -SIR P. I thought it was time. You forget, that I am in the next -room--that the rooms communicate through the terrace--and that you had -not taken the precaution of shutting the outer door of the -conservatory. (_KATE and NORMANTOWER look at one another_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE L.D., she goes down L. to KATE._ - -BEA. Ah, doctor! Philip was asking for you. He has just got up. What -time's your train, Miss Derwent? - -KATE. Half-past two. I must be getting ready. (_NORMANTOWER turns up -and opens R.U.D., standing above it_) - -SIR P. Then, it's decided, you are going? - -KATE. Quite. But I shall see you again. (_crosses in front of SIR -PETER up to R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_comes to front of sofa_) The brougham is quite at your service. -(_KATE bows and exit R.U.D. NORMANTOWER speaks through open door to -her for a few moments_) - -SIR P. (C.) So Miss Derwent is leaving you? - -BEA. She wished to go. She has always been allowed to do as she -pleased here, and she has availed herself of the privilege. - -SIR P. (_looking at BEATRICE_) I see. (_enter PHILIP L.D._) - -BEA. Ah, here is Philip! (_goes to him, affectionately_) - -PHIL. Good morning, doctor. (_coming down with his arm round -BEATRICE_) Morning, Normantower. (_goes to sofa and sits. BEATRICE -goes to back of table L.C. and sits_) - -NOR. Sorry to hear you're not so well this morning. (_comes down R. -and sits at piano, facing PHILIP_) - -PHIL. I ought to get better, if the best of doctors and the most -devoted of nurses are of any use; but somehow I don't. - -SIR P. You get worse. (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. I shouldn't mind so much, if I didn't find my temper giving -way--just now, I spoke quite crossly to poor little Mousey here -(_takes her hand_)--and she was only carrying out your instructions. -(_to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. The fact is, doctor, he's a very naughty boy, and won't take his -medicine, though I always give it him with my own hands. He hasn't -taken any to-day. - -SIR P. Oh, you won't take your medicine? - -PHIL. It's such horrid stuff; and somehow, I always feel worse after -taking it. - -SIR P. So much the better. Shows it's doing you good. - -NOR. (_smiling_) That's all my eye, doctor. (_BEATRICE rises and goes -towards R.U.D._) - -SIR P. No, sir, it's all his liver. Oblige me by not interrupting. - -BEA. (_up R.C._) Come, Lord Normantower. (_NORMANTOWER rises, turns up -and opens R.U.D. for BEATRICE, who crosses in front of him. PHILIP -rises and goes to L._) Sir Peter would like to be alone with Philip. -(_exit BEATRICE R.U.D._) - -NOR. (_following--aside_) And I'd like to be alone with Miss Derwent. -(_exit NORMANTOWER_) - -PHIL. Now I am at your service. (_arranges easy chair and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes to R. of table, L.C._) Have you made your will? - -PHIL. (_starts_) Well, you're a lively doctor! - -SIR P. Have you made your will? (_with emphasis_) - -PHIL. Am I so ill as that? (_aghast_) - -SIR P. Yes, sir--you are. - -PHIL. But if it's only my liver. - -SIR P. It is _not_ your liver. - -PHIL. Is it my heart? Is anything wrong there? - -SIR P. Nothing of any consequence. It's rather too large, and rather -too soft--that's all that's wrong with your heart. - -PHIL. What is it then? - -SIR P. (_sits on sofa_) I can account for your condition, only on one -hypothesis, and that one is out of the question. - -PHIL. Mayn't I know what it is? - -SIR P. Since it's out of the question, it's no use discussing it. You -haven't answered me. Have you made your will? - -PHIL. Yes--long ago. It was a very simple matter. Mildred is provided -for; so I have left everything to my wife, absolutely. (_SIR PETER -rises and rings the bell, below fire, crossing in front_) - -PHIL. Do you want anything? - -SIR P. Yes. The name and address of your solicitor. - -PHIL. Old Merivale, of High Street! why? (_enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., she -comes on to R.C._) - -SIR P. (_crosses to C._) Mr. Selwyn's compliments to Mr. Merivale, -Solicitor, High Street, and will he kindly come here at once? (_exit -JOHNSON R.U.D. SIR PETER returns to R. of table_) - -PHIL. What for? - -SIR P. To draw your will. - -PHIL. But I tell you, I've made it. - -SIR P. You must make another. (_sits, produces documents, and puts on -pince-nez_) - -PHIL. Sir Peter, you are incomprehensible! - -SIR P. Let me make myself clear. Your father, Philip Selwyn, was -married to your mother, Mildred Kent, in July, 1865. I need not show -you the certificate. - -PHIL. Of course not. - -SIR P. Two years before, in March, 1863, one Philip Derwent was -married to one Kate Graham. - -PHIL. Derwent? Kate? Miss Derwent's father, I presume? - -SIR P. Yes. There is the certificate. - -PHIL. I don't want to see it. - -SIR P. But I want you to see it. (_gives it to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_glances at it and returns it_) How does it concern me? - -SIR P. It concerns _her_, doesn't it? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. And she being your half-sister, it concerns _you_. - -PHIL. Miss Derwent, my half-sister! What do you mean? - -SIR P. That Philip Selwyn and Philip Derwent were one and the same -person. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Of that I have no proof, except your father's word. - -PHIL. My father's word? - -SIR P. Given to me on his death-bed. Do you _doubt_ his word? Do you -doubt mine? - -PHIL. No--but I cannot grasp it! Am I awake, or am I dreaming? I have -such strange dreams. - -SIR P. You are awake--and for the first time in your life. Till -to-day, you have been living in a dream. - -PHIL. My father was a widower, when he married my mother? Why did he -not say so? Why did he change his name? - -SIR P. Because he was _not_ a widower. - -PHIL. Not a widower! - -SIR P. Because his first wife was alive---- - -PHIL. Alive! (_leaning well forward_) - -SIR P. There is the certificate of her death--twenty years later. - -(_PHILIP takes it, looks at it blankly, drops back into seat._) - -PHIL. (_after a short pause_) Incredible! - -SIR P. I haven't half done yet. - -PHIL. Go on--go on. (_leaning forward again to table and placing -certificate on it_) - -SIR P. You inherited from your father everything you possess? - -PHIL. Everything! - -SIR P. He bequeathed to you, and your sister Mildred, all his fortune? - -PHIL. All. - -SIR P. Where did he get that fortune? - -PHIL. Well? - -SIR P. From his first wife. - -PHIL. (_springing up_) It's false! it _must_ be false! - -SIR P. (_rises_) I have his word for it, and it can be proved. He left -her penniless; and left his child to struggle with the world as best -they could--and nobly they did it. Yes, sir, it is too true. The -father you have loved and honoured _was_---- - -PHIL. (_extending his arms, as if to stop SIR PETER_) My father! (_SIR -PETER stands for a moment, nonplussed_) - -SIR P. Was your father--just so. (_turns off. SIR PETER picks up -certificate from table and goes to R.C. down stage, folding papers -which he returns to his pocket, PHILIP leans on mantel-piece--aside, -looking at PHILIP_) Takes it very well. - -PHIL. (_goes to L.C., helping himself by table_) I want to ask you one -question. Dare I? (_they stand looking at one another for an instant_) - -SIR P. You mean, your mother. - -PHIL. Yes. - -SIR P. She knew nothing of this. - -PHIL. Thank heaven for that--thank heaven! (_falls heavily into sofa, -and sobs upon the table_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, followed by KATE, in travelling dress, R.U.D. SIR -PETER down R. PHILIP sits up._ - -BEA. (_up C._) Philip dear, Miss Derwent has come to say good-bye to -you. She is going. (_crosses behind and goes down L. of table_) - -PHIL. (_rising_) She is _not_ going. (_SIR PETER turns up to piano_) - -KATE. (_crosses down to PHILIP_) The brougham is at the door, Mr. -Selwyn, and I have left myself barely time to catch the train; but I -could not go without shaking hands with you, and thanking you for all -your kindness. I came here a stranger, and I have found almost a -brother. (_offers her two hands_) - -PHIL. (_taking and holding them_) Yes, you _have_ found a brother; and -_I_ have found a sister. - -KATE. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Whom I have wronged without knowing it--of whose very existence -I was unaware till this moment; but whom I know at last, and to whom I -will make restitution. - -BEA. Philip? (_advances a step; PHILIP turns to BEATRICE_) - -KATE. (_turning to SIR PETER_) You have broken your promise! - -SIR P. I made no promise. (_sits R. by piano, interested in scene_) - -PHIL. Yes, Beatrice, this is my sister---- - -KATE. (_C., breaking out_) But you need not acknowledge me. I ask for -nothing but to go away. Let the past be forgotten. Of what use is it -to revive a sorrow that is dead, and to publish a sin that is unknown? -(_to SIR PETER_) It cannot be right to make three beings unhappy, to -do justice to one, when all that one asks is to go away. - -PHIL. You know, then? - -KATE. Everything! - -PHIL. And you have said nothing! - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa_) Because you have taught me to love you! -(_PHILIP sinks on sofa_) I want you to be happy--I want to be happy -myself--and if I wreck your happiness, I shall destroy my own. All I -ask is to go--let me go! let me go! (_goes to SIR PETER who rises and -checks her, and then sits again_) - -PHIL. It is for me to go. This place belongs to you. - -BEA. (L.C.) To her? (_front of table_) - -PHIL. Yes, all I have is hers. (_turning to BEATRICE_) Beatrice, my -father was not married to my mother legally--he was married -before--Kate is his lawful child--the money he left me was her -mother's--and to her it must be restored, to the last shilling. - -SIR P. (_rises_) Nonsense! this is quixotic! - -PHIL. (_peremptorily_) I know what my duty is, and it shall be done. -(_to BEATRICE_) Am I not right? - -BEA. (_humbly_) Yes, Philip. - -PHIL. (_goes to KATE, C., takes her hand and puts arm round her; to -KATE_) You have battled with the world long enough. Now it is _my_ -turn. Till to-day I have been living in a fool's paradise, but now I -have awaken from my dream. I am not afraid, because I am not alone. -(_goes slowly to BEATRICE and takes her hand_) Many things have been -taken from me. My fortune, my good name, my father's memory--all these -are gone! but you are left to me. I have a wife to work for, whose -love will sustain me; who will share my trials as she has shared my -prosperity. (_goes towards KATE_) Don't fear for me. I will fight and -I will conquer. (_dropping exhausted_) Ah, if I were only stronger! -(_on sofa; BEATRICE goes to fire, L._) - -SIR P. (_goes to KATE who is R. of sofa; to KATE who is about to -speak_) You have said enough. Remember, your brother is an invalid. -(_goes to R.C._) - -PHIL. But I _won't_ be an invalid--I'll make my will to-day. - -BEA. _Another_ will? (_at fire_) - -PHIL. Leaving Kate everything. - -KATE. (_to back of sofa, R. of PHILIP_) Philip! I _must_ speak, for -our sister's sake. If you have no thought for yourself, have some for -her. - -PHIL. Mildred is provided for already. I cannot deal with _her_ money; -but I can with my own. - -KATE. It is not a question of money. Remember, if this secret is made -known---- - -PHIL. Ah! - -KATE. What will be said of her? - -PHIL. That never crossed my thoughts. - -KATE. (_goes down a few steps, C._) Think of it now. It is not too -late. - -PHIL. Oh! (_pressing his hands to his temples_) What am I to do? - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa, below it and kneels_) Do what is best for -everyone. Accept a favour from a sister who asks you--on her knees! -Keep our secret! Remain here--the master of Ravenhurst. Philip! For -Mildred's sake. - -PHIL. (_opening his arms_) Kate! may God bless you! - -KATE. Brother! (_falling into his arms. BEATRICE stands with her head -bowed submissively_) - -SIR P. (_comes to KATE who rises, he takes her away R.C. a few steps_) -There, that's settled. Now, let my patient have a little rest. - -PHIL. (_to KATE, who moves away_) You won't go far? You won't leave -Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. (_prompting KATE_) No. - -KATE. No. - -PHIL. You will stay here--under this roof? - -SIR P. (_prompting_) Yes. - -KATE. If I am welcome--for the present--yes. - -PHIL. And for the future? - -BEA. (_crosses to C._) Yes. Your sister will be always welcome here. -(_takes KATE'S hand. KATE bows to her and exit R.I.D. BEATRICE turns -to PHILIP caressingly_) - -SIR P. (_following--aside_) Damn'd good actress, that woman! (_exit -R._) - -PHIL. How can I thank you, Beatrice? How can I tell you bow proud I am -of you, and how I love you? (_holding both her hands, draws her down -by his side_) Oh, my darling wife, how can I soften this blow which -has fallen upon you? (_embracing her_) - -BEA. Philip, don't think of _me._ - -PHIL. (_R. arm round her_) But I _must_ think of you, who never think -of yourself. If I were to die? (_L. hand holding hers_) - -BEA. Dearest, don't talk of death. (_withdraws hand_) - -PHIL. (_takes his arm from her, and leans forward_) I am more ill than -I seem--more ill than anybody knows. I can't help thinking of death, -for every day it seems to draw nearer and nearer. I can feel it -coming--slowly, mysteriously, weirdly--gathering about me--wrapping me -round and round. (_almost to himself_) - -BEA. (_rises_) Hush, Philip, hush! You are tired. (_goes away two -steps to C._) Shall I leave you for a while? - -PHIL. No, no! Don't go away. (_holding out his hands as she moves up -to back of sofa, R. of him_) You are all I have left, mousey. I am not -tired; but oh, I feel so drowsy! I seem to get worse every day. - -BEA. And why, my dear? Because you won't take your medicine. Come. Let -me bring it you now. (_goes towards L.D._) - -PHIL. That beastly medicine! Perhaps I'd better take it; but I shall -have no head to talk to old Merivale, when he comes. - -BEA. You've sent for him? (_behind chair back of table_) - -PHIL. I expect him every minute. - -BEA. Then, there's no time to be lost. I'll bring it you at once. -(_goes L._) - -PHIL. I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey? (_R. end of sofa facing her_) - -BEA. In what way? (_at door L._) - -PHIL. In making this new will. - -BEA. You always do right, Philip. - -PHIL. I have your acquiescence? - -BEA. Certainly. - -PHIL. Then, I will lose no time. It shall be made to-day. - -_Exit BEATRICE, L.D._ - -PHIL. (_knock at door, R._) Who is it? - -_Enter TOM R.U.D., followed closely by MILDRED, arm in arm._ - -TOM. (_up R.C._) Only me, Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_up R.C._) Only _I,_ Tom. - -TOM. Oh, bother grammar! (_releases her arm, they come down to C._) - -PHIL. Well, children? How are _you_ to-day? - -TOM. (_L. of MILDRED_) Oh, we're all right; but, I say, Mr. Selwyn, I -wish everybody wouldn't call us "children." I don't like it. - -MIL. And it's not true. - -TOM. I'm turned sixteen. - -MIL. And I'm fifteen next birthday! - -PHIL. Well, then, my man and woman, what do you want? - -TOM. You tell him, Mildred! } - } (_half whispered_) -MIL. No--_you_ tell him, Tom! } - -TOM. Are you quite well enough to stand a shock? - -PHIL. What, are you studying electricity? Or is it some toy? - -TOM. Electricity! (_with contempt--turns up C., and down again_) - -MIL. A toy! - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn, you make it jolly hard for a fellow to say what he -wants to say--just when he wants a leg up. - -MIL. Tom! "A leg up?" - -TOM. Oh, bother style! Let me say what I mean. - -PHIL. And what do you mean, my lad? (_smiling_) - -TOM. If you please--we want to get married. (_rather frightened, -taking MILDRED'S hand, and retreating with her up to R.C., facing -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_suddenly serious_) Want to get married? - -MIL. That's the shock! - -TOM. (_aside to her_) Now for it. (_holding her tight_) Don't run -away--_I_ won't! - -PHIL. You are both too young to think about such things! - -TOM. (_sturdily_) I'm sure we're not too young--(_down to C._) - -MIL. To _think_ about such things. - -PHIL. Well, to talk about them. - -MIL. (_crosses TOM to PHILIP, back of sofa. Imploringly_) Philip! - -TOM. Mildred, this is no place for you. (_hands her across to R.U.D._) -Leave me alone with Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_aside to TOM_) Tom! You won't come to blows? (_at R.U.D._) - -TOM. (_L. of her, aside to her_) I will control myself. I will not -forget the respect that is due to the brother of my affianced wife. - -MIL. That's right, Tom. - -TOM. Wait for me--on the mat. (_exit MILDRED, R.U.D. TOM comes boldly -down to C._) Now, Mr. Selwyn, we are alone. We can discuss this matter -as men of the world. - -PHIL. My dear Tom-- (_TOM draws himself up_) Mr. Verinder--Such a -thing as marriage at your early age is, of course, preposterous; but I -wish you distinctly to understand that the remotest idea of an -engagement between you and Mildred is equally out of the question. - -TOM. May I ask why, sir? - -PHIL. You belong to a very proud family; and there are reasons which -you would scarcely understand---- - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Which, at any rate, I can't enter into--that make it impossible -you should ever marry my sister. - -TOM. That is your ultimatum? (_a step towards PHILIP_) - -PHIL. Yes. (_sighing_) - -TOM. Good day, sir. (_walks to the door, R., with importance, suddenly -breaks down--exit blubbering, R.U.D._) - -PHIL. (_rises_) Poor Tom! He's only a boy, but he's a gentleman! -(_goes to fire, L., and leans on mantle_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., pouring medicine out of a medicine bottle -into a medicine glass, in which she has already put the poison. She -comes down C. to R. of table._ - -BEA. Here it is, Philip. (_hands glass to him_) - -PHIL. Oh dear me, how tired I am of the horrid stuff! (_takes glass, -and sits wearily L. of table_) Surely you have given me too much? - -BEA. No--just the right measure. See! (_between table and sofa, -holding up bottle_) - -PHIL. How many doses are there left? - -BEA. (_with bottle_) Only three more. (_puts bottle on R. of table, -and goes round behind to back of PHILIP_) Now, drink it up without -thinking about it; and if, like a good boy, you don't leave a drop, -you shall have a kiss afterwards, to take the taste away. - -PHIL. Well, I suppose I must. (_raises glass to his lips--about to -drink, BEATRICE watches him eagerly_) - -_Enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., quickly._ - -JOHN. (_up R.C._) Oh, if you please'm! (_pants_) - -(_PHILIP puts glass down on L. side of table_) - -BEA. (_annoyed_) What's the matter, Johnson? (_moves a little towards -JOHNSON_) - -JOHN. Miss Mildred---- (_out of breath_) - -PHIL. What of Miss Mildred? - -JOHN. She is in hysterics. - -PHIL. Mildred ill! (_rises and goes quickly across R. Exeunt JOHNSON -and PHILIP R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_follows across to R.C. up stage_) Never mind Mildred! Philip -dear! (_stamps her foot_) Only another second and---- (_moves down C. -looking at glass_) - -PHIL. (_off_) Beatrice! - -_Re-enter TOM breathless, R._ - -TOM. Oh, Mrs. Selwyn, please do come to Mildred! She's in a fit, or -something. (_R. of BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Nonsense! - -TOM. Do come, please! (_passes behind to L. of her_) The shock has -been too much for her. - -_Re-enter PHILIP quickly._ - -PHIL. Beatrice! Quick! (_TOM has her L. hand, PHILIP her right; they -force her to the door between them; as BEATRICE exits she looks back -at glass on table_) - -BEA. In a moment! (_glancing at glass_) - -TOM. Come along! - -PHIL. Beatrice! do come! (_exeunt R. upper door. The door shuts with a -bang. Music in orchestra_) - -_SIR PETER appears in the conservatory, and enters from R._ - -SIR P. Nobody here. Perhaps he's lying down. (_taps at door, L._) -Nobody there. They've gone downstairs. (_comes down to C. passing -behind sofa_) He must be better, then. (_music stops, pause, lost in -thought_) Peter, my boy, if anyone had told you, you could study a -case as you have studied this, for a week, and not be able to make -head or tail of it, you would have kicked--pulled his nose for him. -(_goes to R. of table._) What _is_ the matter with this man? Of course -it _might_ be--but that's out of the question. (_sits on sofa_) Ah, -there's his medicine. What did he say? He always felt worse after -taking it. I don't know why he should. Only a tonic, with a nasty -flavour. People like nasty medicine. Think it does 'em good. (_rises, -tastes it_) Well--_it is_ nasty. (_starts slightly as he tastes it on -his tongue--lifts glass to light, examines it, then smells it, smells -it again, tastes again cautiously by his finger, sets the glass down, -and stands looking at it_) Nothing's out of the question! I ought to -have known it. (_pours dose into the goblet, smells and tastes the -bottle_) That's all right. (_music in orchestra. Pours out another -dose into the glass, which he replaces exactly where he found it, -recorks the bottle and exit slowly with goblet through conservatory, -R., pausing in C. a moment to examine medicine._) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R., quickly, sees the medicine, stops short and -resumes her wonted manner; down C. Re-enter PHILIP, R.; music stops._ - -PHIL. She's better now; but I was rather alarmed. (_down to C._) - -BEA. Poor child! (_goes to fire L._) - -PHIL. She'll soon get over it. Only a girlish fancy. Where did I put -that medicine? (_looking about_) - -BEA. Here it is, dear. (_gives him the glass--advancing to him_) - -PHIL. (_grimacing_) You can't think how I hate it. - -BEA. Don't be so absurd. I declare, you're as great a baby as _she_ -is. (_backs up stage, watching him_) - -PHIL. One--two--three! (_drinks it off. BEATRICE gives a sigh of -satisfaction_) Ugh! Give me some water. (_goes to piano and puts glass -down_) - -BEA. (_passes behind table down to L. of it_) Why, the tumbler is -gone! Who can have taken it? (_looking about_) - -PHIL. Johnson, I daresay. (_sits R. by piano_) All right; I'm better -now. That's one dose less to take. (_Re-enter SIR PETER through -conservatory, with the goblet empty_) Three more, I think you said. - -BEA. (_holds up bottle_) But there are only _two!_ (_alarmed_) -Someone's been here! - -SIR P. Yes, _I_ have. (_comes down C. to R. of sofa_) - -BEA. (_terrified_) _You!_ - -SIR P. Your husband complained of his medicine. I thought I'd test it; -so I took a dose. - -BEA. (_dismayed_) _You_ took it? (_puts bottle on table_) - -SIR P. Yes. (_looking at her_) - -PHIL. A doctor take a dose of his own medicine! - -SIR P. Only to my room. (_advances to R. of table_) Allow me to return -you the glass. (_gives goblet to BEATRICE_) - -PHIL. And you have tested it? - -SIR P. Yes. - -BEA. (_prepared for the worst_) With what result? - -SIR P. With none. As I expected, just what I prescribed. (_sits on -sofa. BEATRICE, intensely relieved, turns aside to hide her emotion, -as if to put goblet on mantel-piece, L._) - -PHIL. And what did you prescribe, Sir Peter? What is this stuff you're -giving me? - -SIR P. A very common medicine. (_crossing his legs_) - -PHIL. But what is it? - -SIR P. (_With his eyes fixed on BEATRICE_) Arsenic. (_PHILIP'S face -falls. BEATRICE turns quickly, dropping the goblet, which is shivered -to fragments_) - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty minutes. Wait: Eleven minutes._ - - -ACT III. - -SCENE.--_Same as Act II. It is after dinner, the room is lighted. -Evening dress. KATE is discovered at piano, finishing a song; -NORMANTOWER standing beside her. TOM, L., and MILDRED, R., are seated -on the centre seat, taking no notice of anybody, and looking the -pictures of woe. BEATRICE'S fan on piano. Lights full up in front. -Blue limes in conservatory._ - -NOR. Thanks, awfully! (_R. of KATE, above her_) - -KATE. That's Mr. Selwyn's favourite--(_rising_)--the music's pretty, -but such stupid words. (_crosses down to C., NORMANTOWER follows her_) - -NOR. Yes, but you sing them with such an expression. - -KATE. Such an appropriate expression? - -_Enter SERVANTS, R.U.D., with coffee, etc., which they hand to KATE. -PRICE enters first, followed by SERVANT. The former carries large -salver with cups of coffee; the latter, sugar and milk on small -salver. They go down to back of sofa._ - -NOR. Yes, that's what I meant. Such an appropriate expression! - -KATE. (_laughing_) Of stupidity? (_goes to sofa_) - -NOR. No, no! That isn't what I meant. Oh dear, I never _can_ say what -I want to say, to you. - -KATE. Shall I assist you? - -NOR. If you only would! (_C.R. of sofa_) - -KATE. I mean to sugar. - -NOR. _I_ meant to sugar. - -KATE. Cream? - -NOR. Thanks awfully. (_KATE hands cup to NORMANTOWER, and takes -another herself, and sits on sofa, L. of it_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I _didn't_ mean sugar, but I _must_ agree with her. - -_SERVANTS offer coffee to TOM and then to MILDRED; they simply reverse -their attitudes, without taking further notice. Exeunt SERVANTS -R.U.D._ - -KATE. (_cup in hand_) Is that as you like it? - -NOR. (_seating himself by her_) This is just as I like it. So, it's -quite settled, you're going to stay here? (_on sofa_) - -KATE. Yes, I find I can't tear myself away from Ravenhurst--I'm a -fixture. - -NOR. I say! are you a landlord's or a tenant's fixture? - -KATE. Oh, I'm attached to the freehold--very much attached to it. - -NOR. That's a pity. I thought perhaps you were removable. - -KATE. What if I were? - -NOR. I should like to remove you, that's all. - -KATE. I thought you were a confirmed bachelor? - -NOR. That's just it. That's what makes it so jolly, I being a -confirmed bachelor, and you being a confirmed old maid---- - -KATE. _Old_ maid? - -NOR. I mean, you _will_ be an old maid--in time. - -KATE. You didn't say so. - -NOR. But I _meant,_ in time. So there's no danger. We can do what we -like. - -KATE. Of course, we can do what we like. - -NOR. We can talk together. - -KATE. We can walk together. - -NOR. We can sing together! - -KATE. Do you mean, in time? - -NOR. Miss Derwent, it was _you_ who were out of time yesterday. That -was a crotchet. - -KATE. Nay, it was a quaver. - -NOR. A crotchet. } (_rising, crossing to R. and putting - } _ad lib._ down cup on piano_) -KATE. A quaver. } (_rising and putting down cup on - table L. and then cross to R.C._) - -NOR. Here is the music--see. (_takes it from piano and comes to her -R.C._) - -_Enter BEATRICE, L.D., and sits unobserved, on sofa._ - -KATE. (_pointing to note_) What did I tell you? - -NOR. You said a quaver. - -KATE. No, I said a crotchet. - -NOR. Oh! - -KATE. Certainly, a crotchet. This is how it goes. (_takes the music, -crosses him, and sits at piano and sings one verse of a song_) - -NOR. (_enraptured_) Thanks--oh thanks, awfully. (_standing on her R._) - -BEA. Rather high for you, isn't it, my dear? (_both turn_) - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! (_turns and advances C._) - -KATE. (_rises_) I beg your pardon? - -BEA. Your voice is so charming, it is a pity to strain it. - -KATE. (_goes down R.C._) I wasn't aware I had an audience. I was -simply endeavouring to convince Lord Normantower that a crotchet is -not a quaver. I was not attempting to sing. - -BEA. My love, you are too modest. I never heard you sing better. -(_KATE grimaces aside_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I think, I'd better turn the conversation. (_Goes to R. -of sofa_) How is Philip, this evening? - -KATE. Yes, how is Mr. Selwyn? - -BEA. I'm glad to say, much stronger. - -NOR. That's good news. I was afraid, as Sir Peter did not dine with -us, your husband was worse. - -BEA. Sir Peter has been with him all the afternoon, and has announced -his intention of remaining till he has solved the mystery of Philip's -illness. It is really very kind of Sir Peter. - -KATE. Sir Peter is kindness itself. (_returns to piano, and sits_) - -BEA. You can imagine what a satisfaction it is to me, to know that my -husband is in such excellent care. - -NOR. But has he formed no opinion as to what is the matter with -Philip? - -BEA. He seems to think, it is nothing worse than an aggravated case of -dyspepsia, and he attaches the greatest importance to diet. He has -forbidden poor Philip almost everything. Sir Peter is a little -crotchety, but he is paying the greatest attention to the case. And -he's so clever! I am charmed with him. (_NORMANTOWER crosses to piano, -and stands R. of KATE who plays softly. TOM rises, crosses to MILDRED -and takes her hand. She rises, and they advance down a step R.C._) - -TOM. (_aside to MILDRED_) Could you die, Mildred? - -MIL. I want to, Tom. - -TOM. Then let's die together! - -MIL. Yes--but how? - -TOM. I don't know. That's the worst of me. I'm so beastly ignorant. - -MIL. There's a pond at the bottom of the garden. - -TOM. Is there? - -MIL. Six feet deep. - -TOM. Let's go at once. - -MIL. And throw ourselves in? - -TOM. We'll have a look at it first. (_exit with MILDRED R.C. to R._) - -(_PHILIP heard off L. KATE stops playing._) - -KATE. Surely that's Mr. Selwyn! (_BEATRICE rises and goes across up to -opening R.C., following TOM and MILDRED_) - -(_SIR PETER heard off L._) - -NOR. Here they are, both of them. - -_Enter PHILIP, followed by SIR PETER, L.D. SIR PETER goes down L., -puts snuff-box on mantel, and stands with back to fire; PHILIP comes -to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets him._ - -KATE. You, Mr. Selwyn. Then you're better! - -PHIL. Yes--feeling another man. I've even been attending to business, -with my solicitor. (_KATE turns away up to R.C._) I must admit, Sir -Peter's treatment is justified by the result, but I can't say I -altogether relish it. (_to NORMANTOWER_) What do you think he's giving -me? (_down, front of sofa_) - -NOR. What? (_advances to C._) - -PHIL. Arsenic. (_sitting on sofa_) - -NOR. Gracious me! (_BEATRICE comes down, and sits R. by piano_) - -KATE. (_comes down, L. of BEATRICE_) Arsenic! That's nothing! Many -ladies take it. - -NOR. Ladies take arsenic! (_turning to KATE_) - -KATE. Don't they, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. I should hope not, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. _You_ never heard of such a thing, of course? - -NOR. What do they take it for? - -SIR P. My dear young gentleman, have you lived six and twenty years -without discovering that the female complexion is usually an -artificial product? - -NOR. Well, I know a powder-puff when I see one, but arsenic! (_turns -up a little C. with KATE_) - -SIR P. Pooh! a common drug! - -BEA. Miss Derwent, so sorry to trouble you--but the night dews are -falling, and Mildred has gone out without a shawl. - -KATE. I'll get one at once. (_exit, R., upper door_) - -NOR. Yes--we'll get one at once. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -(_Directly NORMANTOWER is off, PRICE and SERVANT re-enter, R.U.D., -with coffee, which they offer to BEATRICE, who is sitting R. by -piano._) - -PHIL. I must say, I agree with Normantower. When you told me what you -were giving me, it was rather a shock even to me, and it nearly -frightened poor Beatrice out of her life. - -BEA. Philip, don't speak of it. (_takes coffee_) Don't you remember -what happened? - -PHIL. You broke a glass. - -BEA. And breaking glass is so unlucky. - -(_SERVANTS cross and offer coffee to PHILIP, who takes a cup without -milk and sugar, SIR PETER not noticing. They then pass behind to SIR -PETER, who takes coffee. PRICE clears KATE'S cup from the table, then -crosses, followed by SERVANT and exeunt R.U.D._) - -PHIL. Mousey, you'll make Sir Peter laugh at you. (_NORMANTOWER talks -to KATE_) - -SIR P. Why should I? - -PHIL. Surely _you_ don't believe in luck? (_takes coffee_) - -SIR P. Everybody believes in luck, except fools, who attribute their -successes to their merits. My experience teaches me differently. I -know, one may study a case for a week, and master it only by -accident--as I have mastered yours. (_exeunt SERVANTS_) - -BEA. (_rises_) You've mastered Philip's? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. Yes. As I suspected. Liver. - -BEA. Ah! Then, after all, it is only dyspepsia? - -SIR P. (L.) _Only_ dyspepsia, madam! What's the word suffering -from?--vice--crime--drink--poverty? What are they all? Indigestion. - -PHIL. My wife means, nothing dangerous--one can hardly die of -dyspepsia. - -SIR P. Sir, one can die of anything. If you only knew the number of -things one can die of, you'd wonder any of us are alive. (_PHILIP -laughs and lifts his cup to drink_) What have you there? (_going up to -back of table_) - -PHIL. Only some coffee. - -SIR P. Put it down, sir, instantly. (_hand on table_) - -BEA. Mayn't he have coffee, doctor? - -SIR P. (_crosses behind sofa to C._) Coffee! Most indigestible! Have I -not given my orders? He is to taste nothing more to-day, except one -dose of medicine before going to bed. (_BEATRICE goes to piano, puts -her cup down and picks up her fan_) - -PHIL. Another dose, to-night? - -SIR P. One more; it's most important. (_rises_) - -BEA. Is Mr. Merivale still here? (_at piano_) - -PHIL. Oh no, he went some time ago. - -BEA. (_quickly_) Then have you made the will? - -PHIL. Not yet. (_SIR PETER watches BEATRICE closely_) Merivale insists -on making his own inquiries before taking any other steps in the -matter. If Sir Peter's information is confirmed, he will accept my -instructions. I am to see him again at twelve o'clock to-morrow. - -BEA. Twelve o'clock? - -SIR P. Now you must rest. You've had a trying day (_hand on PHILIP's -shoulder_) (_PHILIP rises and stands back to audience_) - -BEA. (_BEATRICE advances to SIR PETER_) You needn't trouble, doctor. -_I_ will go with Philip. - -SIR P. Thank you--it is no trouble. Come, my boy. (_PHILIP takes his -R. arm, and they go up_) - -PHIL. (_up L.C._) How can I repay you for all your attention? - -SIR P. By obeying me to the letter. Diet's the great thing; and the -less the better. Eat nothing--drink nothing. - -PHIL. But one dose of medicine. - -SIR P. Just one more. (_exit with PHILIP, L.U.D., music in orchestra_) - -BEA. (_behind sofa, R. of it_) One more! My last chance--and I dare -not take it. At twelve o'clock to-morrow, all I have worked for, all I -have schemed for, all I have married for, slips through my fingers. -(_gets front of sofa_) And I can do nothing! No, it is too dangerous; -and if I stop now, I am safe enough. But what is safety worth? Tied to -my husband for his life, and at his death, a pauper! Whilst she--_she_ -will be the Countess of Normantower! Unless--unless--(_sits on sofa -smiling to herself_). He doesn't know that she is Philip's sister. It -is arranged it shall be kept a secret. Then, why is Philip leaving her -his fortune? If I could make him think there was another reason. He is -in love, and love is always jealous. If I could only sow a doubt -between them. Countess of Normantower! What I have thrown away! -(_music stops_) - -_Re-enter NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. (_goes to C._) It's all right. We've found the shawl. - -BEA. Did it take two to find it? - -NOR. It took two to look for it. Miss Derwent looked everywhere for -the shawl, and I looked everywhere for Miss Derwent. - -BEA. You are great friends. - -NOR. Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. I like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort. - -BEA. I thought you hated all women. - -NOR. On the contrary, I am never so happy as in the society of ladies. - -BEA. You, who are always raving against marriage. - -NOR. That's the reason. To marry is to devote oneself to an -individual; whilst a bachelor can devote himself to the sex. Besides, -I have to study economy--and it comes cheaper on taking a quantity. - -BEA. Perhaps, you are right. Marriage is a terrible lottery. - -NOR. You should be thankful you have drawn a prize. - -BEA. Don't mock me. - -NOR. I'm sure you couldn't have a better husband than Philip. He's one -of the best fellows in the world. - -BEA. Ah! there's only one prize--to a woman. - -NOR. (_aside_) She means me. (_two steps away_) - -BEA. All the rest are blanks. And sometimes worse than blanks. - -NOR. (_aside_) This is damn'd awkward! (_a further movement R.C._) - -BEA. (_rises_) Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation which I have -had no opportunity of giving you. Your time is so much occupied, and -we are so seldom alone. - -NOR. (_aside, R.C._) I wish somebody'd come! - -BEA. (C.) When you first came to Ravenhurst, I made what must have -seemed a very strange avowal. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn, I have tried to forget it, and I hope you will -assist me. And the best way to forget it, is not to say anything about -it. - -BEA. I have tried to be silent--but in justice to myself, I must -speak. You know my marriage was not my own wish; but having married, -do me the justice to believe I would have been a true and loyal wife, -if Philip had been all you think he is. - -NOR. Philip? - -BEA. I have accepted my lot without a murmur. Even now, my only wish -is that you should not think too harshly of my indiscretion; but at -the sight of you, the old times came back so vividly, that words -sprang to my lips which I should not have spoken, even under such -provocation as mine. - -NOR. I have known Philip nearly all my life, and this is the first -breath I ever heard against him. I can't help thinking you must be -mistaken. - -BEA. Think so--by all means think so! I do not ask for pity or for -sympathy. I only said so much in self-defence. Now I have done. (_goes -to L._) - -NOR. (_aside_) Thank goodness! - -BEA. But you are quite right to remain a bachelor. Marriage is a -mistake. (_sitting in easy chair L._) - -NOR. (_goes to L.C._) There are two ways of looking at it; and, after -all, one ought to see both sides. I've looked at one for so long, I'm -seriously thinking of taking a turn at the other. (_sits on sofa_) - -BEA. You contemplate being married? - -NOR. Well, I have had some thoughts of it. (_toying with BEATRICE'S -fan which she has left on sofa_) - -BEA. Whom shall I have the pleasure of congratulating? - -NOR. Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked her yet--at least, not -properly. I'm sort of--feeling my way. - -BEA. I don't think you need fear. - -NOR. D'you think she'll have me--really! - -BEA. Of course, I don't know who the lady is. - -NOR. Oh, yes you do, Miss Derwent. - -BEA. (_rises suddenly_) Miss Derwent? - -NOR. Yes, of course. You must have seen I'm awfully gone on her. - -BEA. And you propose to marry her. - -NOR. Well I should like to. - -BEA. (_drops back into seat_) What am I to say? - -NOR. What do you mean? - -BEA. Nothing. I only meant--rather a mésalliance, isn't it? - -NOR. I don't see that at all. I'm no great catch. I'm as poor as a -church mouse. - -BEA. A coronet is something. - -NOR. Pooh! What's a coronet? A thing they stick about on hansom cabs. -Sixpence a mile. - -BEA. And don't you owe a duty to your family? - -NOR. My family owe a great deal more to me, but there's precious -little chance of their stumping up. - -BEA. (_rises_) Let me see. How long have you known Miss Derwent? -(_front of table_) - -NOR. About a week. (_R. end of sofa, facing her_) - -BEA. And don't you think it's dangerous, to marry on so short an -acquaintance? - -NOR. To marry anybody else, it would be. Not to marry _her._ - -BEA. Have you told Philip? - -NOR. No--what's _he_ to do with it? - -BEA. (_crosses to R.C._) Nothing, of course! No, nothing. Why should I -tell you! (_hand on chair L. of piano_) Why should I publish my own -humiliation? And yet, we are such old friends, how can I stand by, and -see your whole life ruined? No! Lord Normantower, this marriage is -impossible. (_goes towards LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_rises_) I don't see that at all. - -BEA. You are in love, and blind! Has it never struck you? Why is Miss -Derwent here? - -NOR. Isn't she Mildred's governess? - -BEA. Mildred requires no governess. - -NOR. Well, her companion--yours. - -BEA. Mine! _My_ companion! Yes, you are right there. Yes, my -companion--in my husband's heart. (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. Surely, you cannot mean--(_follows a step_) - -BEA. My rival! Yes! I mean, that Philip is her lover. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. Now I have told you my secret, and I leave it to your honour to -respect it. - -NOR. You accuse Miss Derwent--you accuse your husband---- - -BEA. Yes, I accuse them both. You know what happened this morning; -Miss Derwent was going away, and my husband insisted on her remaining; -but you don't know what happened this afternoon. So mad is Philip's -infatuation that he is even making a new will, bequeathing her every -shilling he possesses, leaving me an outcast and a beggar. - -_SIR PETER appears, L.D.--he observes them talking and goes into -conservatory, L.C._ - -NOR. Surely you are mistaken. (_backing a step_) - -BEA. I am _not_ mistaken! Sir Peter knows of this will. He will tell -you what I say is the truth. But not a word about my secret? I leave -that to your honour. (_crosses and goes up C. to L.C._) - -NOR. (_aside_) I wish she wouldn't leave my honour legacies. (_turns -up to opening, R.C._) - -_SIR PETER comes out from conservatory, L.C., intercepting BEATRICE as -she goes to door, L._ - -SIR P. Where are you going? - -BEA. Only to sit with Philip. (_going L._) - -SIR P. (_blocking the way_) He is lying down, and must on no account -be disturbed. - -BEA. Surely a wife---- - -SIR P. Is the most likely person to disturb her husband. - -BEA. (_pushing past, viciously_) Sir Peter, I _will_ see him! (_exit, -L.D._) - -SIR P. (_aside, looking after her_) But you can't. (_produces key, -looks at it and replaces it in his pocket, then goes down L., and -leans on mantel, on the opposite side of stage to LORD NORMAN- -TOWER--both lost in thought_) - -NOR. (_aside, leaning against column, R.C._) How can I ask Sir Peter? -How can I say, has Selwyn made a will, leaving his wife a beggar? I -know what his answer would be. "Sir, what the devil has that to do -with you?" And yet it has a lot to do with me. I regard Miss Derwent's -reputation as my own, and I'm not going to have aspersions cast on it. -If I could clear things up, I might be able to convince Mrs. Selwyn of -her mistake. But how can I broach the subject? It's a teazer. (_sits -up, R.C., in alcove_) - -SIR P. (_sits L., aside_) Now, what am I to do? Give her a chance, or -nail her to the counter? If I gave her a chance, would she take it? -Not she! She would appeal to her husband--he would believe her -implicitly and kick me out of the house--there would be an end of -_me_--and there would be an end of _him._ I must convict her--there's -no alternative. But how? If she plays any tricks to-night, I have her. -But if she doesn't? (_blows his nose_) She has _me!_ Well, the first -thing to be done is, to make things safe for the night. - -NOR. (_aside, rises and comes down a little_) I have it! Sir Peter -knows I'm poor--I'll tell him I have thoughts of marrying, but I must -marry money. I will inquire about Miss Derwent's circumstances--say, -I've heard a rumour. Then I shall find out all about this will. Sir -Peter will think I'm an awful cad, but what does it matter what Sir -Peter thinks? Upon my word, statesmanship _is_ hereditary, after all. -I feel a regular Machiavelli! (_crosses to SIR PETER, aloud_) Sir -Peter! May I have a word with you? (_R. of table_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) How long are you likely to be? - -NOR. Only a second. - -SIR P. That means half-an-hour. I limit my consultations to ten -minutes. - -NOR. Ten minutes, then. - -SIR P. Go on. - -_Re-enter KATE, R.C. from R., unobserved, stops short on seeing them._ - -NOR. (_sits on sofa_) It is about Miss Derwent. - -SIR P. Oh, Miss Derwent! (_SIR PETER rises, takes snuff-box on -mantel--and sits again L._) - -KATE. (_aside, smiling_) He's talking about me. I should like to know -what he thinks of me. It's a mean thing to do--but I'll do it--just -for fun. (_retires into conservatory, and crosses, going off L.U.E._) - -SIR P. Well, sir. - -NOR. You know Miss Derwent very well, I think? - -SIR P. Very well indeed--go on! (_leaning back_) - -NOR. She's all right, isn't she? - -SIR P. All right? (_starting forward_) - -NOR. I mean, there isn't a screw loose anywhere? - -SIR P. Screw loose? - -NOR. You know, I have some thoughts of marrying. - -SIR P. Her! - -NOR. Well, yes, of marrying _her._ - -SIR P. (_rises_) Then marry her, and don't bother me about it. - -NOR. But I'm as poor as a rat, and I can't afford---- - -SIR P. Then, _don't_ marry her. (_crosses R.C._) - -NOR. (_rises and follows SIR PETER_) But it has reached my ears, that -Selwyn's going to leave her everything. (_SIR PETER pricks up his -ears_) If that is really so, it would suit my book to a T; and I -thought you might know something about it. - -SIR P. Well, sir? - -NOR. And tell me. - -SIR P. In what capacity? As a physician? - -NOR. No--as a friend. - -SIR P. As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence? - -NOR. No--as _my_ friend. - -SIR P. But I am _not_ your friend. - -NOR. Well, as between two men of the world. Miss Derwent's an awfully -nice girl, but you know, one must look after the dibs. - -SIR P. Sir, I may be a man of the world, or I may not, but I do not -hold consultations in that capacity. Good evening. (_going R._) - -NOR. Sir Peter! One moment! (_following. Exit SIR PETER, followed by -NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. KATE staggers from conservatory, L.C., and drops -into sofa, the picture of desolation._) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. Stops short on seeing KATE._ - -NOR. (R.C.) There she is. (_stands looking at KATE_) - -KATE. (_giving her eyes a final wipe and rising, aside_) I don't care. -(_pockets handkerchief_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, you've been crying. Something's the -matter. - -KATE. Don't trouble about _me._ _I'm_ "all right." - -NOR. "All right?" (_aside_) Do sit down! - -KATE. Thanks, I prefer to stand. - -NOR. But I don't like you to stand. - -KATE. I'm sorry if my attitude is not sufficiently elegant to satisfy -your lordship's fastidious taste. - -NOR. Miss Derwent! - -KATE. But I was not born graceful. I don't think I was properly -finished off. Nature has left "a screw loose" somewhere. (_crosses -R._) - -NOR. (C.) "A screw loose?" (_nonplussed_) - -KATE. What perplexes your lordship? (_sits R. by piano_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, tell me--why did you ever want to -leave Ravenhurst? Don't think me impertinent. I have a reason for -asking. - -KATE. And I had a reason for leaving. - -NOR. Were you uncomfortable? - -KATE. Oh dear, no! Mr. Selwyn has always insisted on my being treated -with every consideration. - -NOR. Ah! Philip thinks a lot of _you,_ doesn't he? - -KATE. I think, he likes me. I don't know about "a lot." - -NOR. Perhaps you felt yourself in rather a false position? - -KATE. (_rises_) What do you mean? - -NOR. Nothing--I only meant--I don't know what I meant. - -KATE. Perhaps I thought, that I might _better_ my position. - -NOR. But if you were so comfortable---- - -KATE. Comfort isn't everything. Ravenhurst's an awfully nice place: -but--(_facing him_) "You know, one must look after the dibs." - -NOR. (_stands dumbfounded--pause_) Then, you heard my conversation -with Sir Peter? - -KATE. Every word of it. - -NOR. Well, it serves me right. (_goes down to C._) - -KATE. (_advances towards him_) And me as well--for listening--but I'm -glad I did. Now, I know what you are, and what you want. You are for -sale! Heart, soul, mind, body and estate--without reserve, and open to -all bidders. I am only a governess--I have no money to buy you, and I -don't _want_ to buy you! Knock yourself down to anyone you please! -What do _I_ care? (_a step or two away_) - -NOR. Hear me, one moment. I have been misled. (_follows_) - -KATE. (_turns sharply on him_) And so have I. I thought, at last, that -I had met a _man!_--A man whom I could love---- - -NOR. Miss Derwent! (_enraptured_) - -KATE. Whom I could honour--whom I could even obey! - -NOR. Kate! (_holds out his hands_) - -KATE. (_smacks his hands down and draws back up stage, R.C., a step; -during speech, she backs towards R.U.D._) Don't call me "Kate." It -wasn't _you._ It was another man altogether--a creature of my -fancy--whom I had met in dreams--but whom I loved--with such a love as -never entered into your sordid soul--for whom I would have died--for -whom I would have worked, toiled, slaved, from morning until -night--who possessed the whole heart of a woman who has never loved -before, but who has cast it from him and has broken it! (_at door; -exit, R.U.D._) - -NOR. My last appearance as Machiavelli! (_goes to L._) - -_Re-enter TOM moodily, R.C. from R._ - -TOM. (_comes down C._) I don't like the look of the pond. - -NOR. What pond? What are you talking about? - -TOM. Oh, by the bye, I haven't told you what we're going to do. - -NOR. Who's going to do? - -TOM. Why, me and Mildred. Drown ourselves. At least we _were_ going to -drown ourselves, until we saw the pond. Now, we are going to think of -something else. - -NOR. (_goes to TOM_) Look here, Tom! it's quite time little boys were -in bed. You'll have plenty of time to-morrow. - -TOM. Ah! You don't know what it is, to love--and get the key of the -street! - -NOR. Don't I? I've got it. - -TOM. _You've_ got it, Ned? - -NOR. Miss Derwent has just given it me. - -TOM. I say, let's drown one another! You go first! (_puts NORMANTOWER -across up towards R.U.D._) - -NOR. No, thank you, Tom. I'll go and make things up. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., lost in thought, he goes up a little, -R.C._ - -TOM. (_down C., turning--seeing SIR PETER_) Sir Peter--the very man--I -say, Sir Peter! (_turns up to SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. Aren't you a doctor? - -SIR P. I had the honour to belong to the medical profession before you -were born. - -TOM. A lot of things seem to have happened before I was born--and -everybody takes care to let me know it. - -SIR P. It is impossible to know too much. - -TOM. Then, tell me. What's the pleasantest way of committing suicide? - -SIR P. Hem! The question is scarcely usual. I regret to say, the -etiquette of my profession precludes me from replying. (_mock bow. -Goes up C._) - -TOM. Pompous old ass! I don't believe he knows. (_goes to L.C._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED, R.U.D., with an open book in her hand._ - -MIL. Tom, Tom! (_comes down R.C._) - -TOM. What's that you've got? - -MIL. "Kennedy on Poisons." (_reading from book. SIR PETER listens_) I -found it in Miss Derwent's dressing-room. - -TOM. Just what we wanted--let me have a look. - -SIR P. (_advancing_) Give me that book. (_between them. MILDRED draws -book away_) - -TOM. But it's not hers--it's---- - -SIR P. (_peremptorily_) Give that book to me. (_MILDRED gives it him_) -How dare you take this from Miss Derwent's dressing-room? - -MIL. (_begins to cry_) I didn't know that I was doing wrong. Mousey is -always at Miss Derwent's bookcase. - -TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn! Is it yours? (_facing -him boldly_) - -SIR P. By force of arms. - -TOM. Force is not argument. - -SIR P. (_in a voice of thunder_) Go away, boy, go! (_points R. TOM -collapses, crosses to MILDRED, and exit with MILDRED R.I.D. quickly_) - -SIR P. (sits on sofa) "Kennedy--Poisons"--(_opens fly-leaf_) "Kate -Derwent--from her friend, the Author--Guy's Hospital, 17th April, -1888." Kennedy's pet lamb! Gives it right and left, and not got -through the first edition yet. Nothing remarkable in that. But why -does it open at arsenic? "Mousey is always at Miss Derwent's -book-case." - -_Re-enter PRICE, R.I.D._ - -PRI. Mr. Learoyd, the chemist, is here, sir. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'll see him at once. (_PRICE is going. SIR PETER -goes to him_) Stop--give this key to your mistress, with my -compliments. (_gives PRICE the key_) You'll find her in her room. -(_crosses and exit R.I.D._) - -_PRICE crosses and knocks at door L. and withdraws to L.C. up stage. -Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle and -wine-glass in her hand._ - -BEA. What is it? - -PRI. Sir Peter told me to give you this, madam, with his compliments. -(_gives key and goes R. towards upper door_) - -BEA. (_aside_) The key! (_goes down L. Aloud_) Price! I am going to -bed. I shall not want Johnson. Put all the lights out, lock the outer -door of the conservatory, and make up the house. - -PRI. Yes, madam, but Sir Peter---- - -BEA. Do as I tell you. - -_Music in orchestra. BEATRICE has put medicine and glass on table, and -stands in front of table, deep in thought. PRICE puts out lamp on -piano, then the one in conservatory, lower lights, then disappears -R.U.E. A lock is heard to turn. Re-enter PRICE, R.C., he goes to -R.U.D._ - -PRI. Good-night, madam. - -BEA. Good-night. (_exit PRICE. BEATRICE crosses and locks R.U.D. Up -R.C., looking at key_) Then, he does not suspect me! When I found -Philip's door locked, I was half afraid. Why am I such a coward?--Is -he with Philip? (_exit L., music swells. Re-enter L._) No! Philip is -fast asleep. Can he be watching? (_goes down to R.I.D._) No! (_opens -door R., looks out, then shuts and locks it_) Good night, Sir Peter! -pleasant dreams to you! (_stands looking at the key_) He suspects -nothing. (_goes to L.C., R. of table. Produces medicine bottle and -glass and pours out a dose_) It is a great temptation! (_produces -phial from bosom_) Strange! how this fascinates me! With my life at -stake, I scarcely can resist it. It possesses me! But, I suppose, I -dare not. (_music dies away, knock at door R._) Who can that be? -(_second knock, aloud_) Who's there? - -SIR P. (_off_) It's I--Sir Peter Lund! (_she puts away the phial_) - -BEA. What an escape! (_unlocks the door and smiles sweetly_) Come in, -Sir Peter. (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., leaving door ajar and holding -the book behind his back_) I was just getting Philip's medicine. -(_goes to L., crossing behind sofa and table_) - -SIR P. (R.C.) So I see. (_aside_) It's all right. I'm in time--(_puts -book down on piano_) - -BEA. I scarcely expected to see you again to-night. Do you want -Philip? (_on knees, mending fire_) - -SIR P. No, Mrs. Selwyn, it is you I want. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. Me? - -SIR P. I have something of the greatest importance to tell you. First, -let me make sure that my patient cannot overhear us. (_goes towards -L.D., back of sofa_) - -BEA. (_rises_) He was asleep just now. (_goes up L. to door_) - -SIR P. But he may have awakened. - -BEA. Shall I see? - -SIR P. Thank you. (_she goes L. and exits. SIR PETER watches her off, -then goes to back of table and tastes the medicine in the glass, he -puts it down, turns quickly, back to door L. signals towards door R., -which he has left ajar; enter KATE, R.I.D._) Into there! (_pointing to -conservatory_) Quick! (_off R.C._) - -KATE. But what am I to do? Why have you brought me here? (_going up -R.C., SIR PETER L. of her_) - -SIR P. Keep your ears open, and you'll understand. (_exit KATE into -conservatory, R., KATE in conservatory upsets a pot_) That's her -confounded train. - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., comes down L. to L.C._ - -BEA. What was that noise? - -SIR P. (_at door of conservatory_) Ten thousand pardons: I've upset a -flowerpot. (_comes down to C._) - -BEA. You've been in the conservatory? - -SIR P. Yes--to make sure that nobody was listening. In a case like -this, one cannot be too careful. - -BEA. Sir Peter, you alarm me. What dreadful secret are you going to -tell me? (_goes to sofa_) - -SIR P. (_R. of her_) Mrs. Selwyn, you are a woman of strong nerves, -and you can bear a shock. - -BEA. I think so. - -SIR P. Well, I'm going to give you one--I've found it! - -BEA. What? - -SIR P. The serpent. - -BEA. The serpent? - -SIR P. Which Mr. Selwyn said did not exist, but the existence of which -I suspected from the first. - -BEA. A serpent in Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. And a remarkably fine specimen, it turns out to be. Your -husband is being poisoned. (_BEATRICE taken off her guard, reels, and -sinks on sofa_) I can quite understand your emotion. - -BEA. Poisoned? - -SIR P. By arsenic, administered in his medicine. - -BEA. But you put it there yourself. You told him, you were giving him -arsenic. - -SIR P. I was not. (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_) I did not -prescribe arsenic. - -BEA. Might not the chemist--by mistake---- - -SIR P. I've seen him, and he assures me there was no mistake. Besides, -though there was arsenic in the glass, there was _none in the bottle._ -While you were all having your dinner, I took the liberty of analysing -_that._ Mr. Selwyn is now in such a condition that the next dose may -be fatal. The first thing to be done is, to protect his life. I have -not left him since morning; but at the precise moment when the -criminal, whoever it is, will probably administer the poison, I shall -not be there to prevent it, because that moment will be when he takes -the final dose of physic which I have ordered him, just before going -to bed. - -BEA. And knowing this, you have ordered it? - -SIR P. With the object of detecting the culprit. Here I want your -assistance. We must lay our plans carefully; for whoever is doing -this, she is a very clever woman. - -BEA. (_rises_) Woman! Then, you suspect--(_bell ready_) - -SIR P. (_business_) Miss Derwent. (_BEATRICE starts_) What was that? -(_no noise heard_) - -BEA. (_astonished_) Miss _Derwent!_ - -SIR P. I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory. - -BEA. No one is there. The doors have been locked. - -SIR P. Someone may have opened them. Let us make sure. (_goes into the -conservatory R.C., disappears R., re-enters in a moment and comes down -to C._) - -BEA. Miss Derwent! (_down stage front of sofa_) - -SIR P. (_returning_) Only the flower pot--caught in a plant, which -must have given way. (_gets R. of sofa_) - -BEA. Well? You were saying---- - -SIR P. I suspect Miss Derwent--She has, as humanity goes, a powerful -incentive to this crime. On Mr. Selwyn's death, she expects to come -into a large fortune. - -BEA. Not until he has made a will in her favour. - -SIR P. He said he would make it to-day. She heard him say so, and she -knows that he has seen his solicitor. - -BEA. (_sits on sofa_) Yes, but my husband has been ill some weeks. -Miss Derwent had nothing to gain by his death until this will was -made. - -SIR P. (_sitting R. of her_) Therefore, she has not killed him. The -process has been admirably timed. She began to compass his death when -she had nothing to gain by it, and therefore was not open to -suspicion; and on the point of its consummation, adroitly threw -herself upon his generosity. You must admit the ingenuity of the -scheme. - -BEA. But the evidence? - -SIR P. That is where you must help me. It is incomplete. But it is -obvious enough, the criminal, whoever it is, is familiar with the -properties of arsenic, which are not so simple as is commonly -supposed. A bungler would have killed him long ago; but Miss Derwent -is half a doctor. She was at Guy's for years. She is a particular -friend of Dr. Kennedy's--and, strongest evidence of all, his book on -toxicology is here--(_rises, crosses to piano, takes book, and -recrosses to back of sofa, R. of it_) inscribed with her name--and has -evidently been considerably studied. (_gives book to BEATRICE_) -Especially, one chapter. - -BEA. Which is that? - -SIR P. Open it. - -BEA. "Arsenic"! - -SIR P. Look at the title page. - -BEA. "Kate Derwent--from her friend, the Author." - -SIR P. (_takes book again_) I submit that the case against her is one -of the gravest suspicion (_crosses to back of table, L. of it_) - -BEA. Then you accuse your friend and protégée. - -SIR P. Science has no friendships. _Someone_ is poisoning your -husband. I suspect Miss Derwent. (_KATE appears momentarily R.C._) -Accept my theory or reject it--(_raises his voice, to make sure KATE -can hear him_) _Watch that glass!_ If anybody touches it---- - -BEA. Who can, but me! When you have gone, and I have locked the door, -no one can get into this room to-night. Where is this poison coming -from? - -SIR P. Wherever it comes from, I know where it goes; into that glass. -Therefore, please, _watch the glass!_ If anybody tampers with it, ring -this bell. (_indicates bell pull, going towards it up R._) - -BEA. (_rises_) What, the alarm-bell? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. It will rouse the house. A miscreant will be brought to -justice, and your husband's life will be saved. (_comes down R.C._) - -BEA. If no one touches it? - -SIR P. He is safe for to-night, at any rate. Madam, I have the honour -to wish you a very good evening. (_exit, R.I.D._) - -_Music in orchestra._ - -BEA. (_locks door after him, and breaks into a low, hollow laugh_) -Thank you, Sir Peter! thank you very much! (_goes to C._) The case you -have begun, I will complete. Now, I can not only save myself, but -triumph! If I convict Miss Derwent of this crime, the will must be -abandoned. (_gets R. of table, KATE appears R.C., watching her_) It is -worth some risk! I can but fail: and if I do--(_produces phial, and -pours the contents into the medicine, laughing_) I'll make this strong -enough. There! Now to bring Miss Derwent. I will say Philip's dying, -and has asked to see her. Then I will rouse the house, and she shall -be found here--alone with this! (_goes to R.C._) Sir Peter will -corroborate me, Philip will be convinced, and my Lord Normantower--ha, -ha!--can marry her! Thank you, Sir Peter, thank you! (_unlocks door, -and exit, R.I.D._) - -KATE. Oh! (_in opening, R.C._) - -PHIL. (_off L._) Beatrice! - -KATE. My brother's voice--if I were found here now! - -PHIL. (_nearer_) Beatrice! - -(_KATE retreats out of sight, R._) - -_Enter PHILIP, L.D._ (_PHILIP goes down L. to L.C._) - -PHIL. Not here? Where can she be? (_watch_) Good gracious, I've been -asleep for nearly three hours. (_yawning_) Well, I suppose she won't -be very long; (_KATE appears again, watching PHILIP, who sits on -sofa_) Ah, there's the medicine! That last dose, which old Lund said -was so particular. I'd forgotten all about it. But Mousey hadn't. She -forgets nothing--nothing! (_rises_) Well, the sooner I take it, the -sooner it's over. (_about to drink_) - -KATE. (_rushing forward_) Philip! Stop! (_music stops_) - -PHIL. Kate? (_sets down the glass_) - -KATE. It's poison! (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Poison? - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R.I.D._ - -KATE. Yes! (_hysterically_) She is killing you! - -PHIL. (_confounded_) Who? - -KATE. Beatrice! (_PHILIP drops into sofa_) Your wife! (_sobs at his -feet. PHILIP sits as if stunned. BEATRICE stands, surveying them. -Pause. BEATRICE rings the alarm bell--KATE springs to her feet. -Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D. KATE goes up to C., PHILIP rises and goes -L. Lights worked up imperceptibly_) - -SIR P. Who rang the bell? (_crosses to R. of table_) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D._ - -BEA. _I_ rang! - -NOR. (R.C.) What is the matter? - -BEA. Sir Peter, you were right. This girl is poisoning my husband. -(_comes down to C._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! (_goes to fire, and leans on mantel_) - -KATE. Oh! - -SIR P. Let Mrs. Selwyn speak. (_calmly tests the medicine by finger -and gets to back to table, placing glass down there_) - -BEA. You asked me to watch, and I have watched. I found her hidden -here. My husband was about to drink this stuff---- - -PHIL. When she prevented me---- - -BEA. Because, of course, she heard my conversation with Sir Peter. -Knowing she was suspected, she has sought to cast this horrible -suspicion upon _me!_ - -KATE. Philip--I saw her! - -BEA. Since I poured out that draught, I have not touched it. - -KATE. Oh! (_retreating up L.C._) - -BEA. If it is poisoned--_she_ has poisoned it. - -SIR P. But when? Besides, you would have seen her--you were watching. -This was not poisoned, when I left the room. - -BEA. It _must_ have been! - -SIR P. I think not--and I tested it. (_advances to C., behind sofa_) - -BEA. I didn't see you. - -SIR P. No--I took care you shouldn't. (_pause_) - -BEA. You suspected _me!_ - -SIR P. From the beginning. - -BEA. This is a plot to ruin me! (_BEATRICE crosses to PHILIP who -disregards her. SIR PETER goes to R.C., L. of LORD NORMANTOWER_) -Philip, _you_ don't believe this hideous charge? (_PHILIP makes no -movement--she draws back, up L. to back of table, and stands at bay_) -What was Miss Derwent doing in the room? If she is innocent, why was -she _hiding_ here? - -SIR P. Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter. (_BEATRICE -confronts SIR PETER_) _I_ brought Miss Derwent here. (_going up to C., -KATE comes to him_) - -BEA. _You_ brought her--when? - -SIR P. When _you_ were in the other room, naturally. I took the -liberty of putting her into the conservatory, where, you will -remember, she had the misfortune to upset a flower-pot. - -BEA. I understand. You laid a trap for me? - -SIR P. I took that liberty. - -BEA. And you say, this is poisoned? - -SIR P. I should think, fatally. - -BEA. If I am guilty, why do I not get rid of it? You have given me -plenty of opportunity. - -SIR P. For a very excellent reason. Because you are quite clever -enough to know, that to do so would be an admission of your crime. - -BEA. I am not guilty, and this (_takes up glass_) is not poison. - -SIR P. Sorry I am to contradict you---- - -BEA. See! I will prove it! (_drinks the poison and throws glass down -behind her, it smashes. Movement from SIR PETER, NORMANTOWER and -PHILIP_) - -SIR P. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. You are too late, Sir Peter. (_goes up_) Now--good night to all -of you. (_curtseying. Exit L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) What was the object? (_crosses to C. As NORMANTOWER -crosses he holds out his hand to KATE, which she accepts, KATE being -L. of him, R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Normantower, Kate is my sister. The fortune which I have enjoyed -for years is hers, and I was anxious to restore it. The object was, to -prevent me. (_music in orchestra_) Oh, Kate, my heart is broken! -(_KATE goes to R. of PHILIP and kneels_) - -KATE. But time will heal it, Philip; for your heart is good; goodness -and happiness are not strangers long. - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, L.D._ - -PHIL. Only to think, this woman is my wife! - -SIR P. (_gently laying his hand on PHILIP'S shoulder_) But not for -long. And she is better dead! - -MUSIC FORTE. - -Moderate Curtain. - -_Time_ (_Act_) _forty-two minutes. Time for whole, including waits, -two hours, six minutes._ - - -Transcriber's Note - -This transcription is based on scanned images posted by Google from a -copy in the Harvard Library: - -nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.FIG:002663452 - -Note that the Google scans are included in a set of four Sydney Grundy -plays published by Samuel French posted under the title, _A Fool's -Paradise._ Based on how the Harvard Library catalogs the individual -copies, I assume Google combined the different scans into a single -document. _A Fool's Paradise_ is the first play in the set. - -French's Acting Editions from the nineteenth century tend to have -minor editorial inconsistencies and errors such as missing and -inverted letters, missing and incorrect punctuation marks, and -spelling errors. In addition, errors were introduced in the printing -process, depending on the condition and inking of the plates. Thus, -for example, it is at times difficult to determine whether a certain -letter is an "c," "e," or "o" or whether a certain punctuation mark is -a period or a comma. Where context made the choice obvious, the -obvious reading was given the benefit of the doubt without comment. - -The following changes were noted: - -- Throughout the text, all abbreviations in the stage directions for -stage position, entrances, and exits (e.g.,"R.I.D.") have been made -consistent so that there is no space between the letters. - -- Throughout the text, the convention of long dashes at the end of -lines has been made consistent. - -- p. 3: Tennis bat for KATE R.U.E.--For consistency, changed "KATE" to -"Kate". - -- p. 5: You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you.--Changed -period to a question mark. - -- p. 6: KATE Why aren't...--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 7: Even love matches are often unfortumate.--Changed -"unfortumate" to "unfortunate". - -- p. 7: Love has a habit of being so one-sided--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 7: ...a most able and distinguished man--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 9: ..._and waves his hand to TOM and MIL_)--Changed "MIL" to -"MILDRED" in stage direction. - -- p. 9: SIR. P. Drink too much.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 9: KATE. SIR Peter!--Changed "SIR" from small caps to initial -cap. - -- p. 9: SIRP. Of course you do.--Inserted space between "SIR" and "P". - -- p. 10: SIR P Any pain?--Inserted period after "SIR P". - -- p. 11: SIR P. So, altogether. you're quite a happy family?--Changed -what looked like a period after "altogether" to a comma. - -- p. 11: With more money than I know what to do wi h...--Changed -"wi h" to "with". - -- p. 11: The liv r was made, by a beautiful provision...--Changed -"liv r" to "liver". - -- p. 12: _Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. -from R._)--Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 12: (_they come down stage tonether..._--Changed "_tonether_" to -"_together_". - -- p. 12: ...and though circum tances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite ost...--Changed "circum tances" to -"circumstances" and "ost" to "lost". - -- p. 12: SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER. C._)--Changed period -after "NORMANTOWER" to comma. - -- p. 13: SIR P. (_picks up bunch from table, R._)--Changed "_bunch_" -to "_Punch_" based on the "Necessary Properties" list and on the stage -direction following the next line of dialogue which has Sir Peter -sitting and reading. - -- p. 15: ..._she has a tennis bat in her hand, and comes down C._)-- -Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 18: (_stoop- to give a back, NORMANTOWER down R. -laughs...._--Changed "_stoop-_" to "_stooping_". - -- p. 18: KATE (_nodding_) How d'ye do?--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 20: Nonsense I must see you...--Added period after "Nonsense". - -- p. 21: ...but consider the future Some day...--Added a period after -"future". - -- p. 21: No, I shall never marry--Added a period at end of line. - -- p. 22: You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_) Good, generous...--Inserted dash after closing -parenthesis, and changed "Good" to lower case. - -- p. 23: ACT II--Inserted a period at end of heading for consistency. - -- p. 23: ...remarkably tight inexpressibles--Added a period at end of -line. - -- p. 23: You under-rate your accomplishments. don't -think...--Inserted the word "_I_" before "don't". Use of italics was -based on spacing between words. - -- p. 24: _Kate turns up and resumes watering plants, R.C._--For -consistency in stage directions, changed "Kate" to small caps in html -version and all caps in text version. - -- p. 29: No--but I cannot grasp it?--Changed question mark to an -exclamation mark. - -- p. 31: ...bnt now I have awaken...--Changed "bnt" to "but". - -- p. 33: I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey--Added question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 33: I have your acquiesence?--Changed "acquiesence" to -"acquiescence". - -- p. 34: TOM. Are quite well enough to stand a shock?--Inserted "you" -after "Are". - -- p. 34: Yon won't come to blows?--Changed "Yon" to "You". - -- p. 35: _Exeunt JOHNSON and PHILIP R.U.D._--Added closing -parenthesis. - -- p. 36: _TOM has her L. hand., PHILIP her right..._--Deleted period -after "hand". - -- p. 36: SIR. P. Nobody here.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 36: ..._then smells it, smell it again, tastes again cautiously -by his finger..._--Changed "_smell_" to "_smells_". - -- p. 38: _BEATRICE'S fan on piano_--Added period after "_piano_". - -- p. 39: "_ad. lib._"--Deleted period after "_ad_". - -- p. 40: I am charmed with him--Added period at end of sentence. - -- p. 41: _PHILIP comes to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets -him_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 41: SIR P My dear young...--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: You've had a trying day--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 43: _PHILIP takes his R. arm, and they go up_)--Inserted a left -parenthesis before "PHILIP". - -- p. 43: SIR. P. By obeying me...--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 43: SIR P Just one more.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: (_behind sofa R. of it_)--Added a comma after "sofa". - -- p. 43: Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort.--Added "I" before "like". - -- p. 43: ...a bachelor can devote himself to the sex,--Changed comma -to a period. - -- p. 44: Don't mock me--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 44: Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation' which...--Deleted -single quote mark after "explanation". - -- p. 44: You contemplate being married--Added a question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 47: SIR. P. Oh, Miss Derwent!--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 47: ..._snuff--box_...--Changed dash to a hyphen. - -- p. 48: As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence--Added a -question mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 48: ..._drops into sofa, the picture of desolation._--Added a -closing parenthesis after "desolation." - -- p. 48: I'm "all right.'--Changed single closing quotation mark to -double closing quotation mark. - -- p. 49: Whom I could honor--whom I could even obey--Added an -exclamation mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 49: ...from morning nntil night...--Changed "nntil" to "until". - -- p. 50: Don t I? I've got it.--Added an apostrophe between "Don" and -"t". - -- p. 50: I'll go and make things up. _exit. R.U.D._)--Added left -parenthesis before "_exit_"; changed period after "_exit_" to a comma. - -- p. 50: (_turns up to_ Sir PETER)--Changed "Sir" from initial cap to -small caps in html and all caps in text version. - -- p. 51: TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn?--Changed -question mark to exclamation mark. - -- p. 51: _Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle -and wine-glass in her hand_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 52: (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D , leaving door ajar..._--Changed -space after "D" to a period. - -- p. 52: (_goes towards L D., back of sofa_)--Changed space after "L" -to a period. - -- p. 53: (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_--Added closing -parenthesis after "_fascinated_". - -- p. 53: I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory--Added a period -at end of sentence. - -- p. 53: (_goes into the conservatory R.C., disappears R. -re-enters..._--Inserted a comma after "R.". - -- p. 54: ...and on the point of it's consummation...--Changed "it's" -to "its". - -- p. 54: (_takes book gaain_)--Changed "gaain" to "again". - -- p. 54: I suspect Miss Derwent--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 55: (_indicates bell pull, going owards it up R._)--Changed -"_owards_" to "_towards_". - -- p. 55: _comes down R.C._)--Added a left parenthesis before -"_comes_". - -- p. 55: ...KATE appears R.C ,...--Changed space after "C" to a -period. - -- p. 55: (_PHIL goes down L. to L.C._)--Changed "PHIL" to "PHILIP". - -- p. 55: (_sets down the glass_--Added closing parenthesis after -"_glass_". - -- p. 56: _Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWE, R.I.D._--Changed "NORMANTOWE" to -"NORMANTOWER". - -- p. 56: BEA. _I_ rang?--Changed question mark to an exclamation mark. - -- p. 56: (_come down to C._)--Changed "_come_" to "_comes_". - -- p. 56: (_retreating up L C._)--Changed space after "L" to a period. - -- p. 56: _PHILIP makes no movement..._--Added a left parenthesis -before "PHILIP". - -- p. 57: If she is innocent, why was she hiding here--Added a question -mark at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter--Added a -period at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: (_going up to C , KATE comes to him_)--Changed space after -"C" to a period. - -- p. 57: SIR P I should think, fatally.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: SIR P For a very excellent reason.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: ...that to do so would be an admisson of...--Changed -"admisson" to "admission". - -The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the -printed text. However, some concessions have been made. For example, -on pages 25, 34, and 39 of the printed text a single curly bracket -around two or more lines is used to indicate simultaneous action or -dialogue. It is possible to reproduce this in html using tables, but -html tables may not transfer well to the Project Gutenberg files -generated from the html file. Thus, the use of html tables was -avoided. - -This play was inspired by the 1889 trial of Florence Maybrick, who was -convicted of poisoning her husband with arsenic. A brief description -can be found in William R. Cullen, _Is Arsenic an Aphrodisiac? The -Sociochemistry of an Element_ (Cambridge, U.K.: Royal Society of -Chemistry, 2008), pp. 179-180, 183-185. A preview of this book is -available through Google Scholar. See also Edgar Lustgarten, _Verdict -in Dispute_ (London: Allan Wingate, 1949), which is posted by the -Internet Archive at: - -archive.org/details/verdictindispute00lustuoft - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - -***** This file should be named 41647-8.txt or 41647-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/ - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms -of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online -at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a>. If you -are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the -country where you are located before using this eBook. -</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Title: A Fool’s Paradise<br /> -An Original Play in Three Acts</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-top:1em; margin-bottom:1em; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Author: Sydney Grundy</div> -<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Release Date: December 18, 2012 [eBook #41647]<br /> -[Most recently updated: February 16, 2021]</div> -<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Language: English</div> -<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0'>Character set encoding: UTF-8</div> -<div style='display:block; margin-left:2em; text-indent:-2em'>Produced by: Paul Haxo</div> -<div style='margin-top:2em;margin-bottom:4em'>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL’S PARADISE ***</div> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41647 ***</div> <div class="image"> <p class="center"><img alt="Cover" src="images/cover.jpg" title="Cover" /></p> @@ -3197,447 +3178,7 @@ An Original Play in Three Acts</div> <p class="center"><img alt="" src="images/backcover.jpg" title="Back_Cover" /></p> </div> -<div style='display:block;margin-top:4em'>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL’S PARADISE ***</div> -<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0;'>This file should be named 41647-h.htm or 41647-h.zip</div> -<div style='display:block;margin:1em 0;'>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in https://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/</div> -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will -be renamed. -</div> - -<div style='display:block; margin:1em 0'> -Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright -law means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, -so the Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United -States without permission and without paying copyright -royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: A Fool's Paradise - An Original Play in Three Acts - -Author: Sydney Grundy - -Release Date: December 18, 2012 [EBook #41647] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - - - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - - -AN ORIGINAL PLAY - -IN THREE ACTS. - -BY - -SYDNEY GRUNDY. -____________________________________________ - -_Copyright,_ 1898, _by Thomas Henry French._ -____________________________________________ - - -London: | New York: -SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. | T. HENRY FRENCH, -PUBLISHERS, | PUBLISHER, -89, STRAND. | 26, WEST 22nd STREET. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE - -_Produced at the Garrick Theatre on Saturday, -January 2nd, 1892._ - - CHARACTERS. - -Lord Normantower MR. F. KERR. -Sir Peter Lund, Bart., M.D., F.R.S. MR. JOHN HARE. -Philip Selwyn MR. H. B. IRVING. -Hon. Tom Verinder MR. GILBERT HARE. -Price MR. S. B. BRERETON. -Kate Derwent MISS KATE RORKE. -Beatrice Selwyn MISS OLGA NETHERSOLE. -Mildred Selwyn MISS BEATRICE FERRAR. -Johnson MISS MINNA BLAKISTON. -______________________________ - -ACT I.--THE HALL, AT RAVENHURST, -_Philip Selwyn's Country House, near St. Alban's, Herts._ - -_A Week Elapses._ - -ACT II.--THE BOUDOIR. -_Morning._ - -ACT III.--THE BOUDOIR -_Night._ - - -NECESSARY PROPERTIES. - -ACT I.--On R. table: China Bowl, books in case, newspapers, photo -views, three letters and newspaper through post. Book on sofa. -_Ready:_ Tennis ball to throw on from between C. doors and R.W. Tennis -bat for Kate R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Basket of cut flowers for Kate. -Work bag containing balls of wool and needles, and an apple, for -Mildred. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - -ACT II.--Water bottle and glass, magazine, and Punch, on L. table. -Fire lighted. The hearth should be a solid sheet of slate for glass to -break easily. Bell rope on flat, R. of opening R.C., bell pull on flat -L., below fire-place. _Ready:_ Medicine bottle and glass, L.D. _Hand -Properties:_ Water can (no water) for Kate. Two certificates of -marriage, and one of death for Sir Peter. Cigarettes in case for -Normantower. - -ACT III.--Clear chair from back of table, and water bottle. Lighted -lamp on piano. Ditto on pedestal in conservatory L.C. Small ditto on -table, L.C. _Ready_ R.U.D.: Six cups of coffee on salver, sugar and -milk on small salver. _Ready_ L.D.: Medicine bottle, wine glass and -poison phial. Flower pot to smash on stone, R.U.E. Alarm bell to ring -R.U.E. Large lock to work, R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Book for Sir -Peter. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - -ACT I. - -SCENE.--_The Hall of an old-fashioned Country House with staircase. -Door C. Entrance, L. Door, R. Windows at back, looking into grounds. -Letters on table. Gong._ - -_TOM and MILDRED discovered together. MILDRED on sofa, L.C., TOM on -foot-stool at her feet R. of her. She has some work in her hand, and a -ball of wool in a satchel. [Note for TOM.--Before curtain rises, tie -wool to button on waistcoat, and see the wool is free to "payout" for -business.]_ - -TOM. Come, Mildred dear, say "Yes." - -MIL. But I can't say "Yes." - -TOM. You might help a fellow a bit. I never proposed to anybody -before, and I daresay I've done it very badly---- - -MIL. No, Tom, you've done it very well. - -TOM. (_rises and sits beside her, arm round her waist_) Say "Yes," -then. Of course, I'm not good enough for a girl like you. But I may be -some day. My brother Ned's a confirmed bachelor, and it's just on the -cards I may be the next Earl of Normantower. - -MIL. Yes, Tom, that's just it. I'm not fit to be a Countess. - -TOM. Not fit to be a Countess? Why, some of 'em are awful. - -MIL. My brother wouldn't hear of it, I'm sure. - -TOM. Well, then, you shan't be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor's -always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan't -come in for the title. You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would -you? - -MIL. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn't. - -TOM. (_half embracing her_) Say "Yes," then. - -MIL. Someone's coming! (_TOM runs to opposite side of the stage and -sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table_) - -_Enter KATE DERWENT from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of -flowers._ - -KATE. Well, children! (_comes down, puts basket of flowers on back of -table, R.C., and goes down to C._) - -TOM. (_aside_) Children! - -KATE. Why aren't you out of doors this beautiful morning? - -MIL. Oh, I wanted to finish this slipper. - -KATE. (_catching sight of the thread of wool, the end of which has got -entangled on TOM'S button and which stretches across the stage, -connecting the two_) Really? And you, Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. I? I was reading Hiawatha. - -KATE. You don't say so! (_picking up the thread and drawing them -together_) Now, how dare you tell me such stories? (_breaks the -thread, throws it to MILDRED, crosses TOM to R. of table and fills a -vase with flowers from her basket_) - -TOM. It's no use trying to deceive you, Miss Derwent. I've been making -love to Mildred. - -KATE. Making love at ten o'clock in the morning? I'm ashamed of you. -It's almost as bad as playing cards by daylight. - -TOM. (C.) I want her to marry me and she won't! She says my family's -too good for her--as if anything could be too good for Mildred! I'm -sure the Verinders are poor enough. As for me, she forgets my father -was cut off with a shilling, and blew'd the lot? - -KATE. (R.C.) Blew'd the lot. - -MIL. Tom means, his father spent it. (_C.L. of TOM_) - -KATE. Spent the shilling? - -TOM. Every penny of it. Oh, we're a reckless lot, we Verinders! - -_PHILIP SELWYN enters C. from L., he places his stick in stand L. of -C. door, hat on small table up R.C., and goes slowly down to -fire-place, R._ - -MIL. And why was he cut off with the shilling? - -TOM. Because he married the girl he wanted; instead of a girl he -didn't want; and his son's going to do the same. (_placing his arm -round her and taking her down to L.C._) - -KATE. Ah, Mr. Verinder! Marriage is a serious responsibility. (_goes -to C., basket in hand_) - -TOM. It's serious when you marry the wrong person, but I'm going to -marry the right one. - -KATE. Yes, but who is the right one? - -PHIL. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (_sits, opening -letters, in arm-chair R. of table_) - -TOM. (_advances to C._) _You_ think so, Mr. Selwyn? (_turns to -MILDRED, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and -finds an apple which he eats_) - -KATE. (_sits R.C._) Because you have been fortunate in your choice, -but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often -unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. (_filling a bowl -on table, with flowers_) - -PHIL. I haven't found it so! and mine was a love match, if ever there -was one. I met my wife quite casually at Brighton--fell in love, -proposed, was accepted and married, all within a month. - -KATE. You married in haste. - -PHIL. And by all the laws of cynical philosophy, I ought to have -repented at leisure. (_BEATRICE SELWYN enters, L. down staircase -unobserved, and crosses slowly to back of table R.C._) But I haven't -repented. To the confusion of the philosophers, I'm the happiest -husband and have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. (_turns to KATE, his mouth full of apple_) There, Miss Derwent! -What do you say to that? (_turns to MILDRED_) - -KATE. That is one side of the picture, but I've seen the other. My -mother also married for love. - -PHIL. And what was the consequence? - -KATE. That her daughter will never marry. - -BEA. (_softly_) Don't say that, Miss Derwent. (_all start slightly, -KATE rises, and sits again almost immediately, still filling bowl with -flowers_) You are always severe on the gentlemen, but don't be so hard -on them as that. - -PHIL. Good gracious, Mousey, how you startled me! Your footsteps are -so fairy-like, one never knows where you are. - -BEA. Moral: never tell secrets to Miss Derwent, when you think I'm not -listening. - -PHIL. My dear, it's no secret that I have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. Everybody thinks that, Mrs. Selwyn. (_going up C. towards her_) - -BEA. (_goes to TOM, C._) Not everybody. To wit--Sir Peter Lund. - -MIL. Oh, what does it matter what that grumpy old bear thinks? (_goes -to L. of sofa, and round behind it_) - -BEA. (_crosses TOM to sofa, L.C., picks up a book and sits almost -reclining, her back to PHIL. and KATE. TOM goes up C. and remains in -doorway_) My dear Mildred, Sir Peter Lund is a most able and -distinguished man. Having made his fortune as a fashionable physician, -he has almost retired from the active pursuit of his profession to -devote himself to his innumerable appointments, and to the -transactions of all sorts of royal and learned societies, where the -clearing of his erudite throat is the signal of the most reverential -attention. (_TOM signals to MILDRED who joins him up C._) - -KATE. And well it may be. - -BEA. Forgive me, I quite forgot he was a friend of yours. - -PHIL. And mine as well, my dear. When Sir Peter was an ordinary family -practitioner, he brought both Mildred and myself into the world, he -attended my father in his last illness, and in spite of the multitude -of his engagements, he is good enough to take an interest in us still. -What could be kinder than his voluntary proposal to run down here and -see me, simply because he had heard casually that I was rather out of -sorts? - -KATE. Sir Peter is coming here? - -PHIL. I expect him this morning. - -BEA. I can only wonder that in "the multitude of his engagements" he -can find the leisure. - -PHIL. Sir Peter is one of those wonderful men, who get through the -work of a dozen, yet never seem to have anything to do. - -KATE. (_rises_) Who can always find time for an act of kindness, and -are never too busy to remember an old friend. (_goes up and puts -basket on table at back R.C., and joins TOM and MILDRED._) - -BEA. Well, I will make him as comfortable as I can. - -PHIL. I know you will, and the more you see of him the more you will -like him. (_opening another letter_) Hallo! Tom, a letter from your -brother. - -TOM. Ned! (_comes down L. of table, MILDRED L. of TOM._) - -PHIL. "A thousand thanks, old man, for your kind invitation to stay -with you while Normantower is being prepared for the reception of my -august person! How glad I shall be to shake hands with you once more! -Expect me when you see me. Yours as always, Ned. P.S.--Fancy you -putting up my cub of a brother! Surely the stables were good enough -for him." - -MIL. Well, I declare! - -TOM. Ned always talks like that; but he's a very good brother to me, -and always down with the dust, when he's any dust to down with. -(_takes her up C. rejoining KATE_) - -BEA. (_rises, crosses to L. of table, puts book in case on table, and -then gets back of table, L. of PHILIP_) You see, Phil, Lord -Normantower is quite grateful for your invitation. - -PHIL. It was a happy thought of yours to suggest it; but when aren't -your thoughts happy? They are always of others. (_BEATRICE kisses -him._) - -_Enter PRICE, L.D._ - -PRI. Sir Peter Lund. (_BEATRICE comes down C. KATE down R.C. corner of -table, TOM and MILDRED behind arm-chair R._) - -_Enter SIR PETER LUND. He comes to L.C._ - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to SIR PETER, taking his hand_) Welcome to -Ravenhurst! I scarcely expected you so soon. You must have risen early -this morning. (_exit PRICE with SIR PETER'S hat and stick L.D._) - -SIR P. Always get up at five. (_crosses to BEATRICE_) How are you? -(_shakes hands with BEATRICE_) How d'ye do? (_crosses BEATRICE to -KATE, and waves his hand to TOM and MILDRED_) How are you, boy? - -BEA. Always get up at five? (_L. of SIR PETER_) - -PHIL. And never goes to bed before two. It's a marvel to me how you do -it! (_front of sofa_) - -SIR PETER. (_crosses to PHIL._) It's a marvel to me how you don't do -it. That's why you are out of sorts. You eat too much. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Drink too much. - -BEA. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Sleep too much. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. (_turning on the ladies_) So do you! - -BEA. (_turning to KATE_) Oh! (_TOM and MILDRED steal off into the -grounds, C. to R._) - -SIR P. Of course you do. Everybody does. (_watch_) What time's the -next up train? - -PHIL. You're not thinking of going already? - -SIR P. Certainly not. Not going for ten minutes. - -BEA. Surely you'll stay to lunch? - -SIR P. Lunch, what d'you want with lunch? If you've an appetite for -dinner, thank heaven for it, and don't go and spoil it with lunch. - -BEA. Do you ever eat? - -SIR P. Eat? Like a cormorant. - -PHIL. Drink? - -SIR P. Like a fish. (_PHILIP reclines on sofa, R. of it_) - -KATE. Sleep? - -SIR P. Like a humming-top! - -BEA. But you say, you oughtn't. - -SIR P. Well? Do you never do what you oughtn't! I do. (_turns up to -head of sofa and surveys PHILIP through pince-nez_) - -BEA. Since Sir Peter is so pressed for time---- - -SIR P. Pressed for time? Not at all. (_getting behind sofa still -looking at PHILIP_) - -BEA. I understood you---- - -SIR P. You misunderstood me. - -BEA. At any rate we'd better leave you with your patient. Come, Miss -Derwent--(_bows--SIR PETER bows. Exit with KATE into grounds, C. to -R._) (_SIR PETER turns up stage and watches them off, then comes down, -moves chair R. of sofa towards PHILIP, and sits_) - -SIR P. Well, what's the matter with you? - -PHIL. Really, Sir Peter! That's what I want you to tell me. - -SIR P. You have a high opinion of the medical profession. Do you -suppose we can tell you anything, if you don't tell us first? - -PHIL. I have always supposed so. - -SIR P. Error, sir. You tell us everything we tell you. The only -difference is, you tell us in English, and we tell you in Latin. You -take a fee out of your pocket; we put one in ours. - -PHIL. Well, doctor, I can't tell you what's the matter with me. I -should very much like to know. - -SIR P. Why! What has it to do with _you?_ - -PHIL. (_smiling_) A great deal unhappily. - -SIR P. Vulgar fallacy. A patient's complaint concerns nobody but his -doctor. (_feels pulse--watch in hand_) - -PHIL. I have no energy. I don't take my usual interest in what goes on -around me. One day I'm restless--another, lethargic. There's nothing -particular the matter with me, but I seem to have no pleasure in -existence; and instead of getting better, I get worse. - -SIR P. (_shuts watch_) Happy at home? (_after feeling his hand_) - -PHIL. Perfectly. - -SIR P. How has your marriage answered? - -PHIL. My wife is simply a treasure. - -SIR P. (_dryly_) Oh! Any money difficulties? - -PHIL. None. My father left me beyond reach of any trouble of that -sort. - -SIR P. Any pain? (_feeling his chest_) - -PHIL. No. - -SIR P. I see, Miss Derwent is still with you. - -PHIL. And I hope, will remain. Beatrice wouldn't be without her for -the world, and I think Mildred almost worships her. I can't -sufficiently thank you for the introduction. - -SIR P. How's your appetite? - -PHIL. It varies. - -SIR P. I thought Miss Derwent would suit you. I picked her up at -Guy's. She was a nurse there. Something about her struck me. Has it -struck you? - -PHIL. What? - -SIR P. Her likeness to your father. - -PHIL. Well, now you mention it, there is a likeness. - -SIR P. Sleep pretty well? - -PHIL. Too well. I'm always drowsy. - -SIR P. So, altogether, you're quite a happy family? - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. With more money than I know what to do with, heir -to a name that is honoured wherever it is known, the husband of the -dearest wife in the world, I sometimes think I am the happiest man on -earth. - -SIR P. Humph. - -PHIL. You smile. - -SIR P. I seem to have dropped into a little paradise. - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. - -SIR P. Where's the serpent? - -PHIL. The serpent? - -SIR P. There was a serpent even in paradise. - -PHIL. There's none in mine. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'm sorry to hear it. (_crosses to C._) There is only -one sort of paradise in which there is no serpent. - -PHIL. What sort do you mean? - -SIR P. (C.) A fool's. (_takes snuff and goes to hearthrug, R., back to -fire-place_) - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to R.C. and sits L. of table_) You are plain -spoken, Sir Peter. Now tell me with equal candour what is the matter -with me. Perhaps that is the serpent. - -SIR P. Shall I tell you the truth? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. I don't know. - -PHIL. Surely, with your experience---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no experience. - -PHIL. Well, with your knowledge---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no knowledge. Knowledge is the monopoly of -extremely young practitioners. I have been doctoring for forty years; -and now, I stand here on your hearthrug, sir, a monument of triumphant -ignorance. - -PHIL. Nonsense, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. Sense, sir, sense. - -PHIL. Be candid and tell me frankly what is wrong with me. - -SIR P. Your liver, probably. - -PHIL. Only my liver? - -SIR P. (_advances to table_) Don't speak disparagingly of your liver, -sir. That eminently respectable organ has been much misunderstood. It -is commonly supposed to serve certain functional purposes in the -physical economy. Another fallacy! The liver was made, by a beautiful -provision of nature, for the benefit of the medical profession. (_sits -in arm-chair, R._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. from R._ - -MIL. Phil, here's Lord Normantower. (_MILDRED runs on to back of -table, followed by TOM, who gets R. of sofa, and sits on arm of it. -SIR PETER rises and goes down two steps, R._) - -PHIL. Ned! (_rises and turns up to meet LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -TOM. He's so brown, and he's grown such a beard! - -NOR. (_up C._) Well, Phil, old man, how are you? - -PHIL. (_they come down stage together, C., PHILIP on R. of LORD -NORMANTOWER, MILDRED crosses behind them to back of sofa, L. of TOM_) -My dear Ned! I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. Sir Peter -Lund--Lord Normantower. How kind of you to come and stop with us! How -pleasant it will be to chat over old times! But first of all, let me -congratulate you on your new dignity. - -NOR. Dignity? My dear Phil, I have no dignity. I am a born Bohemian, -and the idea of me dropping in for a peerage strikes me as so -ludicrous, I've done nothing but laugh ever since I became a -hereditary legislator. (_laughs_) - -TOM. Ha, ha, ha! - -NOR. (_suddenly serious_) What's the matter with you? - -TOM. Fancy Ned a legislator! - -NOR. Even Tom sees the joke. (_throws hat to TOM_) - -_TOM, suddenly serious, turns up to be consoled by MILDRED; exeunt, C. -to R.; TOM hanging LORD NORMANTOWER'S hat on stick in stand._ - -PHIL. Lord Normantower and I were at Oxford together. We became great -friends; and though circumstances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite lost sight of one another. - -NOR. I haven't the pleasure of knowing Sir Peter myself, but I believe -other members of my family have had that privilege. - -SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER, C._) Sir, I had the honour of -attending the last three Earls of Normantower. Your uncle--gout; your -cousin Richard--lungs; your cousin John--delirium--humph--delirium! -(_PHILIP drops down, R.C._) - -NOR. (_throws gloves on table, L.C._) That branch of the family -disposed of, the peerage devolved on me as the eldest son of my poor -father--the only Verinder who never enjoyed the title, and the only -one who deserved it. - -SIR P. (_shaking him by the hand_) I quite agree with you. (_turns up -C._) - -PHIL. Let us hope his son will be worthy of him. - -NOR. (_sits in chair R. of sofa_) Ah, well, I'll do my best; but ten -thousand a year, paid quarterly in advance, would have suited Ned -Verinder's book better than an empty honour without a shilling to -support it. - -PHIL. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER_) Well, there's one consolation. -If it's a difficult matter for a peer to make money, it's very easy -for him to marry it. (_SIR PETER comes down to fire-place, R._) - -NOR. Marry? Not me! No! I was born a bachelor, and am not going to fly -in the face of Providence. - -PHIL. You don't believe in marriage? - -NOR. Of course there are exceptions; and I hope from the bottom of my -heart, yours is one of them. I haven't seen your wife yet, you know. - -PHIL. I've married a most charming woman, Ned--haven't I, Sir Peter? -(_going to L. of table, R.C._) - -SIR P. (_picks up Punch from table, R._) Sir--your wife is my hostess, -and one's hostess is always charming. (_bows and turns off--sitting -R., reading_) - -NOR. A charming woman? You arouse painful memories. I once knew a -charming woman. To be quite frank, I was engaged to one. - -PHIL. (_goes to LORD NORMANTOWER_) You have been engaged to be -married! I never heard of it. - -NOR. No, I kept it quiet. So did she. (_BEATRICE enters, C., from R., -pausing to look in at window, R.C., and comes down behind chair, -R.C._) At the time, there was not the remotest likelihood of my ever -succeeding to the title, and of course I was hard up. I always was. A -gilded calf appeared upon the scene; and the charming woman wrote me a -charming letter, protesting eternal fidelity, and announcing her -approaching marriage. - -PHIL. To the calf? - -NOR. To the gilt. - -PHIL. You had a lucky escape. - -NOR. Luckier than I thought: for I discovered afterwards that the -charming creature was a regular adventuress--a garrison hack--a -boarding-house belle--the sole support of an aged father--a venerable -old gentleman, with the manners of a patriarch and the morals of a -welsher! She was a charming woman, for all that. - -PHIL. I congratulate you on your escape. But who was the unfortunate -calf? - -NOR. I never took the trouble to inquire. - -BEA. (_advancing--all start slightly as before_) And the charming -creature? Pray, who was she? (_C.R. of PHILIP_) - -NOR. (_rises_) Miss Challoner! - -PHIL. (_proudly--introducing BEATRICE_) My wife. (_NORMANTOWER bows_) -You know one another. - -BEA. (_with perfect self-possession_) I believe, now that I see Lord -Normantower, I once had the pleasure of meeting him. (_crosses to -NORMANTOWER_) Let me see--where was it? - -NOR. It sounds ungallant to say so, but I really forget for the -moment. - -BEA. Well, never mind that now. Tell us who was the lady who used you -so shamefully. I am dying to know. (_looking him straight in the -face_) - -NOR. You must excuse me. Though I am ungallant enough to forget where -I met Mrs. Selwyn, I am not so unchivalrous as to betray a lady's -secret. (_moves away to L.C. in front of sofa_) - -BEA. (_goes to PHILIP, R.C._) Phil, dear, your friend is quite a hero -of romance. If you have any more such friends, please lose no time in -introducing them. - -PHIL. My love, don't make me jealous. (_BEATRICE goes to NORMANTOWER. -PHILIP turns and speaks to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_giving her hand frankly to NORMANTOWER_) Thank you, Lord -Normantower. - -NOR. (_taking her hand, rather disconcerted_) For what, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. For your loyalty--to my sex. (_turns off up stage to back of -table, calling SIR PETER, who rises and joins her. She shows him a -book, which she takes from table_) - -PHIL. (_crosses to NORMANTOWER, takes his arm, and draws him back to -sofa_) You've had a narrow escape, evidently; but don't make the -mistake of letting the unworthiness of one woman blind you to the -merits of the rest. Believe me, there is no happiness like that of -married love. (_sits on sofa. SIR PETER is looking at book; BEATRICE -listening to conversation_) - -NOR. (_sits L. of PHILIP_) Love! there is no such thing. We think we -are in love, but we aren't. What is called love is an affliction of -the brain, not an affection of the heart. Luckily, we soon get over -it. - -BEA. Men may--but women, never. Do they, Sir Peter? - -SIR P. I never offer an opinion on matters I don't -understand--(_lifting his forefinger_)--unless, mark, they are -strictly medical. Love has no place in the British pharmacopaea. (_goes -down R. of table, BEATRICE L. of it. She shows him some photographic -views_) - -PHIL. Yet it exists. I have even known cases of love at sight. - -NOR. Love at sight! Now you're going too far for anything. I can -imagine an enthusiast believing even in love, but love at sight! -(_rises_) No, my dear Phil, that's too ridicu---- (_a tennis ball -comes flying in from the grounds, rolling down to L. corner; -NORMANTOWER picks it up and gets L.C._) - -_KATE runs in after the ball, C. from R., she has a tennis bat in her -hand, and comes down C._ - -KATE. (_speaking off, as she enters_) Stay where you are! I'll get it -for you, children! (_stops_) Has anybody seen---- Oh! there it is! -(_seeing it in NORMANTOWER'S hand_) - -NOR. Allow me---- (_goes to C. and gives it to KATE_) - -KATE. Thank you, very much. (_running out_) Here you are! Catch! -(_throwing ball off R. Exit KATE; NORMANTOWER turns up C., and stands -gazing after her; pause. PHILIP rises and goes L._) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) Who is that lady? (_comes down C. to sofa_) - -PHIL. (L.) That's Miss Derwent. - -NOR. And who is Miss Derwent? - -BEA. (R.C.) Only a companion. (_coldly_) - -PHIL. You'll be delighted with her, when you know her, as of course -you will, if you stay with us for a week or two. - -NOR. I'll stop for a month. (_sits on sofa_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) Well, my ten minutes are up. (_crosses to C._) Before -I go I'd like to see you alone. (_to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_turns up L. behind sofa_) Come to my room. (_to NORMANTOWER, -over back of sofa_) We shan't be very long. Meanwhile, I leave you in -good company. (_goes to foot of stairs L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_goes up C. to SIR PETER_) Good-bye, Sir Peter--if I don't see -you again. - -SIR P. You will see me again. I'll stay to lunch after all. (_follows -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_going upstairs_) That's right, doctor. Give yourself a holiday -for once. (_exit L._) - -BEA. (_following SIR PETER to foot of stairs_) But your patients? What -will they do without you? (_smiling sweetly_) - -SIR P. (_on stairs_) What will they do? Recover. (_exit L._) - -_BEATRICE stands at the foot of the stairs, watching them off. -NORMANTOWER is sitting with his back to staircase. He rises and -crosses thoughtfully to R.C. corner of table. BEATRICE advances and -stands looking at him._ - -NOR. Are they gone? - -BEA. (C.) Yes. Oh, Ned, can you ever forgive me? (_L. of NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Forgive you? I forgave you long ago. Indeed I am grateful to you -for teaching me a lesson which I shall never forget. - -BEA. You are cruel; but I suppose I deserve it. (_on a line with -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. My grievance is a thing of the past. I have no wish to injure you -or to cause you pain, and I should not have expressed myself so freely -just now, had I known that you were present or that I was speaking of -the wife of a friend. (_a step down_) - -BEA. You have been misinformed. There is not a word of truth in what -you have heard about me. - -NOR. No doubt. People exaggerate so. (_standing below her_) - -BEA. They invent so. - -NOR. They invent so. - -BEA. And you have believed them! What must you think of me? (_moves -away a little_) - -NOR. To be perfectly frank, Mrs. Selwyn, I endeavour not to think of -you at all. (_goes to fireplace R._) - -BEA. (_goes up to L. of table_) You have forgotten me? You have -stripped me from your mind? - -NOR. I have done my best to forget you. (_leans on mantel, his back to -her_) - -BEA. (_moving away_) And this is constancy! (_down to L._) - -NOR. (_faces round_) Constancy! I am not more punctilious than most -men, but surely it is scarcely my duty to be constant to a woman who -has become the wife of another. (_advances to R.C._) - -BEA. (_goes up to C._) Ah! it is easy to talk of one's duty but it is -not always so easy to do it. (_NORMANTOWER looks at her_) Ned--may I -call you so? Let me tell you the secret of my life. - -NOR. You have a secret? (_comes to her C._) - -BEA. Yes--_I_ was always constant. I was forced into this marriage. -The letter I wrote breaking off our engagement was dictated to me. I -never loved my husband. (_turns away to L.C._) - -NOR. (C.) Mrs. Selwyn, you forget, your husband is my friend. If you -didn't know it when he asked me here, you know it now. - -BEA. (_turns to him_) I always knew it. It was I who suggested the -invitation. I could bear my unhappiness no longer. I felt I must see -you again. Oh, if you could only look into my heart! Ned! Though I -used you badly, you are bitterly avenged! (_drops into sofa L.C., and -buries her face in her hands_) - -NOR. (_goes up to head of sofa, looking down on her_) I have no wish -to be avenged. I loved you--I lost you--and there is an end of it. -(_turns up C._) - -BEA. (_rising_) Why was I born a woman? (_crosses to R.C. corner of -table_) Why was I not a man? To amuse myself just for the moment, and -then to be able to forget! - -NOR. (_comes down behind chair R.C._) You do us an injustice. We men -are not so inconstant as you think. Sometimes we pretend to forget -what we are half ashamed to remember. (_BEATRICE listens intently, -watching him out of the corner of her eyes_) But the past is past. You -are a wife now. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. If I were not a wife? - -NOR. Then, it would be different. - -BEA. (_close to him_) Hush! I have said, I do not love my husband; and -if you say that, you will make me hate him. To think that he--and he -alone--stands between me and happiness. - -NOR. Beatrice! (_recoiling_) - -BEA. Don't shrink from me! Is it so wicked to want to be happy? -(_touching him_) - -NOR. Happy? - -BEA. If I were only free! (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. (C.) You forget, though I have dropped in for a title, I am -almost as poor as ever. - -BEA. (_goes up to him_) But I am not. (_laying her hand on his arm_) -Philip has left me everything if I survive him. - -_SIR PETER appears at the top of the staircase; she turns off -suddenly, crossing NORMANTOWER, who goes down to R.C._ - -BEA. (_goes towards foot of stairs_) Well, doctor, how do you find -your patient? (_up C._) - -SIR P. (_up L.C._) Your husband is more seriously ill than I -anticipated. (_she glances at NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Ill! - -BEA. What is the matter with him? - -SIR P. (_R. of chair, L.C._) Something occult--that's why I call it -serious. There is nothing so serious as the unknown. (_NORMANTOWER -turns up R. and looks out at window_) - -BEA. Something _you_ can't make out? It must be occult indeed. - -SIR P. (_goes to front of sofa L.C._) But something I _hope_ to make -out before I go. - -BEA. Then you propose to stay here? (_disconcerted_) - -SIR P. With your permission--for to-night, at any rate. - -BEA. I'll have a room prepared for you at once. (_about to go L.U.E., -returns C. and works to R.C._) - -SIR P. Don't trouble. The orders are already given. I've taken the -liberty of choosing my own quarters. They open on the terrace, so I -can take the air in the morning without disturbing the household. -(_sits on sofa_) - -_Re-enter C. from. R., KATE DERWENT from grounds, TOM and MILDRED -running up with her to the doors C. NORMANTOWER goes slowly down to R. -corner._ - -KATE. That'll do, children, I'm quite out of breath. (_comes down C. -TOM and MILDRED run off into grounds L._) - -BEA. I am afraid the children give you no rest, Miss Derwent. (_R.C., -L. of table_) - -KATE. Oh, I don't mind. I like it. I was a dreadful tomboy myself, -when I was their age. I haven't forgotten how to play leap-frog yet. - -BEA. Your memory is really wonderful. - -KATE. And I believe I could give as good a back--(_stooping to give a -back, NORMANTOWER down R. laughs. Catching sight of NORMANTOWER, puts -her hand to her mouth and stops short_) - -BEA. (_obliged to introduce them_) Lord Normantower--Miss Derwent. -(_he bows_) - -KATE. (_nodding_) How d'ye do? (_turns and speaks to SIR PETER_). - -BEA. (_turns to NORMANTOWER, R._) You have not been here -lately--Philip has made such improvements! You'll scarcely know the -old place again. May I have the pleasure of showing it you? - -NOR. I shall be delighted. (_BEATRICE turns up a few steps C., -NORMANTOWER crosses to KATE, C._) Perhaps Miss Derwent will come with -us. (_BEATRICE bites her lips_) - -SIR P. (_rising_) Miss Derwent will stop here. (_BEATRICE smiles -maliciously_) I want to speak to her. - -KATE. You, doctor? (_SIR PETER goes L. and round behind sofa to C. as -BEATRICE and NORMANTOWER exit_) - -NOR. (_reluctantly_) Good-bye then, for the present. - -KATE. Au revoir! (_goes to L.C., NORMANTOWER is "struck," and suddenly -remembering turns. Exeunt LORD NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE into grounds -C. to R._) - -SIR P. (_SIR PETER after watching them off, comes down R. of sofa and -points_) Sit down. - -KATE. Don't order me about in that way, doctor. We're not in the -hospital now. - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sits, in burlesque obedience. He sits_) First -let me deliver my messages. The entire medical staff at Guy's send you -their kindest regards. (_Both on sofa, KATE L., SIR PETER R._) - -KATE. (_facing audience_) That's very nice of them. On your return, -doctor, will you be so good as to give my kindest regards to the -entire medical staff at Guy's? - -SIR P. The house-surgeon, Mr. Kennedy, I regret to say, sends you his -love. - -KATE. Will you also give my love to Mr. Kennedy? - -SIR P. The students send you a kiss apiece. - -KATE. Will you please kiss the students all round. (_SIR PETER makes a -gesture of objection._) - -SIR P. Are you sorry you changed your position? - -KATE. No, Sir Peter. I have been very happy here. Mr. Selwyn has -always treated me with such consideration that, I am afraid, sometimes -I forget that I am not one of the family; Mrs. Selwyn has never been -_unkind_ to me, and Mildred I have learnt to love almost as a sister. - -SIR P. Good. My object in introducing you here being accomplished, I -feel myself at liberty to explain it. The medical profession has its -romantic episodes. I am going to tell you one. - -KATE. Go on. I love romances. (_faces SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Three years ago, a patient of mine died--nothing remarkable in -that--it's a habit my patients have--leaving a grown-up son and a -young daughter to inherit his very considerable fortune. He died -beloved by his children and respected by all who knew him, but on his -deathbed he confided to me a secret. He was a thief and a bigamist. -When very young he had married a rich lady. This marriage he had -concealed, and under a false name had married again. For some years he -had lived a double life and had two families. By his first and lawful -wife he had one child--a daughter; and having contrived to possess -himself of the whole of this lady's fortune, ultimately he deserted -her. The fortune of the first wife he left to his children by the -second, who are to this day quite unconscious of their father's crime. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. In his later years, he had searched privately for his first -wife and child, but he could find no trace of them. That search he -bequeathed to me, and a pretty legacy it's been! For a long time my -inquiries were unavailing, but at last I discovered that the mother -was dead. - -KATE. And the daughter? - -SIR P. Was one of my own nurses at Guy's Hospital. - -KATE. At Guy's! - -SIR P. I had known her by sight for months, but had not happened to -hear her name--Kate Derwent. - -KATE. (_rising_) I? - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sinks back into seat_) What was I to do? All -this man's children were my personal friends. The two, who had legally -inherited your mother's fortune, morally were not entitled to a -shilling. You, who legally are penniless, morally are entitled to it -all. If ever there was a case for an amicable arrangement, this was -one; and I thought it would facilitate a settlement, if you were all -made acquainted with one another. With that object I introduced you -into this house. - -KATE. Surely you cannot mean---- - -SIR P. I can--I do. - -KATE. That Mr. Selwyn--(_rising_) - -SIR P. Is your brother. - -KATE. Mildred---- - -SIR P. Your sister. - -KATE. And their father---- - -SIR P. Yours. Now comes the question; what is to be done? - -KATE. (_with determination_) Nothing. - -SIR P. How nothing? - -KATE. You say they don't know anything. Not that their father -was--(_stops short_) - -SIR P. A scoundrel? No. - -KATE. Not that their mother---- - -SIR P. Was his victim? No. - -KATE. Not who I am? - -SIR P. Not who you are. - -KATE. Then, let them never know it. (_crosses to R.C., L. of table_) - -SIR P. Nonsense. I must see you properly provided for. - -KATE. I am provided for. (_gets C._) I have earned my living for -years, and I can earn it to the end. I am not used to wealth, and -should not know what to do with it. They are, and could not be happy -without it. Let them remain in ignorance of the truth. - -SIR P. (_rises and goes towards her, C._) Miss Derwent, you are a most -extraordinary person. I tell you, you are entitled to a fortune, and -you don't ask how much it is. A woman--and no curiosity. - -KATE. I don't care how much it is or how little. I don't want to know. -(_turns away to front of table_) - -SIR P. This is a matter of no less than two hundred thousand pounds. -Well? - -KATE. I said nothing. - -SIR P. Then will you please say something? - -KATE. I have nothing to say. - -SIR P. A woman--and nothing to say. You regard two hundred thousand -pounds with contempt. Think, how many new frocks it would buy. (_going -to her_) - -KATE. I do not regard money with contempt; for money can sometimes buy -happiness. But we are all perfectly happy as we are. Why do you want -to disturb us? - -SIR P. (_R. of table_) You think only of the present; but consider the -future. Some day, you may have a daughter of your own---- - -KATE. No, I shall never marry. - -SIR P. Never what? - -KATE. I am in earnest. (_goes down a few steps, R.C._) - -SIR P. A woman--and not want to be married! Hang me, if I believe -you're a woman at all! (_goes to L.C._) - -KATE. Why? Because I want to be generous? - -SIR P. (_above KATE_) Miss Derwent, there is a higher virtue than -generosity, and that is justice. It is easy enough to be generous, but -it hard indeed to be just--especially to oneself. This is a question -of pounds, shillings, and pence. - -KATE. (_works up to C._) Pardon me, Sir Peter--this is a question of -breaking the hearts of those who were kind to me when I needed -kindness, who befriended me when I was alone in the world, whom I have -already learned to love almost as what they are--my brother and -sister. Their father--my father--is dead, but his memory is dear to -them. I know they loved him--and I know they honoured him. How can I -imperil that love, and how can I stultify that honour? How can I cloud -the sunshine of my sister's life with the shadow of her father's sin? -No, Sir Peter! If that is justice, justice is beyond me. I am only -equal to generosity. I _am_ a woman, only a woman--and I can't do it. -Not for a hundred fortunes! Not for all the world. (_goes to L. of -table and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes up to C._) Yes, you are a woman after all--and as -self-willed and silly as the rest. To throw away two hundred thousand -pounds! Why, I've decimated my fellow creatures for half that. It's -wicked--positively wicked. You deserve to die in a ditch. - -KATE. (_rises_) I will die where heaven wills it, but I shall at least -have the consciousness that I have done something to repair my -father's wrong. - -SIR P. Rubbish--romantic rubbish. - -KATE. Promise me that you will keep this secret--that you will say -nothing to my brother--promise me, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. I shall promise nothing. I shall use my own discretion, as I -always do. (_turns off, L.C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter! (_following him_) - -SIR P. You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_)--good, generous, true-hearted girl, and I am -your friend always! Look here! I'm old enough to be your father--(_is -about to kiss her. Re-enter PRICE, R.D.; aside_) Damn that man! (_goes -L., PRICE sounds gong, R., below fire-place_) - -_Music in orchestra till act drop. Re-enter TOM and MILDRED, running -in from grounds, followed by BEATRICE and LORD NORMANTOWER leisurely, -C. from R._ - -TOM. (_throwing his hat on R. table_) Lunch, at last! Aren't I ready -for it? (_runs off, R.D._) - -MIL. (_throwing hers on the table_) Tom! Wait for me. (_runs off -R.D._) - -_KATE looks from MILDRED to SIR PETER pathetically. Exit PRICE, R.D. -PHILIP appears on staircase, slowly coming down._ - -BEA. (_coming down C._) You must be hungry after your journey. (_R. of -LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_coming down C._) Yes, thank heaven, my appetite is as -redoubtable as ever. Miss Derwent may--(_about to offer arm_) - -BEA. (_cutting in_) Sir Peter, will you bring Miss Derwent? - -_LORD NORMANTOWER is obliged to offer his arm to BEATRICE. Exit LORD -NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE, R. SIR PETER offers his arm to KATE whom he -takes R.C._ - -PHIL. (_on stairs_) Stop, doctor, stop. (_comes down to R. of KATE_) -Don't monopolise all the good things. Suppose we go shares. (_offers -his arm to KATE_) - -KATE. (_between the two_) Don't be scandalised. (_to SIR PETER_) Mr. -Selwyn often gives me his arm. Here--(_looking at PHILIP_) I am more -like a friend than a dependant. - -PHIL. (looking at KATE) More like a sister than a friend. (_exeunt, -R.D._) - -SWELL MUSIC. - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty Minutes. Wait: Thirteen Minutes._ - - -ACT II. - -SCENE.--_A Boudoir, opening through a conservatory on to a terrace. -Doors, R. and L. A water jug and goblet on table. A week has elapsed. -Morning. Lights full up. Music for Act Drop._ - -_BEATRICE enters, L., as curtain rises. KATE discovered watering -plants in conservatory, up in opening, R.C._ - -BEA. Good morning, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. Good morning, Mrs. Selwyn. - -BEA. At work, as usual. How industrious you are! (_comes down C., to -sofa_) - -KATE. Yes--I've been saying good-bye to all my favourites. -(_pause--BEATRICE takes up a book--KATE goes on watering the plants_) -How is Mr. Selwyn this morning? - -BEA. He is not so well. (_her back is towards KATE_) - -KATE. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he will be well enough to shake -hands with me before I go. - -BEA. Then you are determined to leave us? - -KATE. (_leaves can up R.C., and comes down C._) I can't tell you how -sorry I am, but I mustn't stop here for ever. Mildred learnt all that -I can teach her long ago; and if I stay much longer, I shall be the -pupil. Since Mr. Verinder's arrival I have had several lessons in the -English language as it is spoken at Eton, and I flatter myself I shall -soon be able to "cackle" as well as if I wore a remarkably short -jacket and remarkably tight inexpressibles. - -BEA. You under-rate your accomplishments. _I_ don't think there is -_much_ that Mildred could teach you. - -KATE. (_grimaces behind her back_) Don't make me blush, my dear. - -BEA. You make _me_ blush sometimes. - -KATE. Then you ought to be extremely obliged to me, for nothing -becomes you better. (_grimaces as before_) Mrs. Selwyn, we are now -quite old friends. I cannot leave Ravenhurst without some little -memento of our companionship--There are no horrid men about to hear -us--Before I go, tell me (_dropping down near BEATRICE into an -attitude of mock earnestness_) oh, tell me---- (_behind sofa R. of -BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Well? - -KATE. The secret of your complexion. - -BEA. (_smiling_) It's a very simple one--Arsenic. - -KATE. (_rises_) Arsenic! But that's a poison. - -BEA. Yes, if you take too much of it; but if you take a little, it---- - -KATE. It what! - -BEA. Improves the complexion. - -KATE. Does it? Where do you get it? - -BEA. From the chemist's, of course. - -KATE. But will they sell it you? - -BEA. Yes, if you're candid and confide in them. My love, if you want -to look better than Nature intended you---- - -KATE. As, of course, I do---- - -BEA. Confide in your chemist. Make some ridiculous excuse--say that -the family cat is in convulsions--and they will sell you nothing. They -know it's absurd. Say that you want to improve your complexion, and -they will sell you anything; they know it's the truth. - -KATE. My dear Mrs. Selwyn--for this information much thanks. (_moves -towards door, R.U.E._) - -BEA. Where are you going? - -KATE. To the chemist's. - -_Enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. May I come in? (_comes well on stage, R.C._) - -KATE. (_up C._) It seems to me you've come. (_between NORMANTOWER and -BEATRICE_) - -NOR. Yes; when I want to do anything particularly, I do it first and -ask permission afterwards. It prevents disappointment, and it's so -very easy to apologise. - -BEA. In this case no apology is needed. - -NOR. (_starting_) Mrs. Selwyn! excuse me for not seeing you. (_crosses -down to BEATRICE, standing R. of sofa. KATE turns up and resumes -watering plants, R.C._) How is Philip to-day? - -BEA. I'm sorry to say my husband is not at all well this morning. - -NOR. Old Lund seems to be making him worse instead of better. - -BEA. Sir Peter has now been here a week, and Philip has grown worse -every day. - -NOR. I'm sure _I_ oughtn't to find fault with Lund; he's polished off -nearly all my relations for me; but I'm not certain that I quite -believe in the old boy. There's too much M.D.F.S.A. about him. I never -knew a fool who hadn't half the alphabet at the end of his name. -(_turns away a few steps_) - -KATE. (_demurely_) At _which_ end my Lord Edward, Arthur, Henry, Earl -of Normantower? (_coming down to R. of NORMANTOWER, R.C., can in -hand. BEATRICE rises and goes to fire L., taking book with her_) - -NOR. Now, that's too bad of you, Miss Derwent. It's not my fault that -I've enough names to christen the family of a curate. - -KATE. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't throw stones at a friend of -mine! (_goes up to opening R.C._) - -NOR. Mine was a very little stone; yours was half a brick. (_KATE -continues watering the plants_) - -PHIL. (_off, L._) Beatrice! - -BEA. My husband! I must leave Miss Derwent to console you. She won't -have many more opportunities. (_goes up L._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! - -BEA. Yes, dear! I'm coming! (_exit L.D._) - -NOR. Not many more opportunities? What does she mean? (_standing -puzzled C.--turning his head to KATE_) - -KATE. (_in conservatory_) Mrs. Selwyn means that I am leaving -Ravenhurst. - -NOR. You're going away! (_goes up to KATE_) - -KATE. This afternoon. (R.) } - } _of opening, R.C._) -NOR. For good? (L.) } - -KATE. For Mrs. Selwyn's good. - -NOR. You don't mean to say she's given you notice. - -KATE. (_comes down R.C., as far as piano_) Mrs. Selwyn is too amiable -to give anybody notice; but when she wants to get rid of them, in the -most charming manner in the world, she makes them so exceedingly -uncomfortable that they give notice themselves. - -NOR. (_comes down L. of her_) But she can't possibly want to get rid -of _you?_ - -KATE. Why not? - -NOR. We're all in love with _you._ - -KATE. Are you? Perhaps that's the reason. Do you like plants? (_turns -suddenly, can in hand, so that the water is supposed to splash -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Blow plants! (_drawing back_) - -KATE. (_stopping_) _What_ plants? (_in opening R.C._) - -NOR. (_goes to fire, L., wiping his coat_) Any plants--all plants--I -hate 'em. - -KATE. (_crosses in conservatory to L.C._) I love them. I have been -watering my pets for the last time. - -NOR. (L.) I see. You've been standing them a parting drink. - -KATE. My lord! (_in opening L.C._) - -NOR. By the way, isn't tobacco very good for plants? (_crossing up to -C._) - -KATE. Excellent. Why do you ask? - -NOR. I was just thinking, while you are watering the plants in the -conservatory, it might be doing them a service if I were to smoke a -cigarette in the conservatory. (_producing case_) - -KATE. (_puts can down, L.C., behind flat, and comes down to -NORMANTOWER, C._) Not for the world! Lord Normantower, let me tell -you a shocking fact. The very odour of tobacco has such an effect upon -me, that if you were to light a cigarette---- - -NOR. (_putting case back_) It would make you uncomfortable? - -KATE. No! I should want to join you. - -NOR. No! - -KATE. There! you're shocked. (_goes down to sofa_) - -NOR. Not a bit of it. I like you, Miss Derwent, because you say what -you mean. - -KATE. Sometimes I say a great deal more than I mean. (_sits on sofa_) - -NOR. And sometimes I mean a great deal more than I can say. Miss -Derwent---- (_behind sofa, R. of KATE_) - -KATE. (_sitting_) Lord Normantower? - -NOR. What a strange thing it is that you have grown this old---- -(_KATE looks at him_) I mean, this young, without being married. - -KATE. I shall never marry. - -NOR. That's exactly my case. I've had one disappointment, and I don't -mean to have another. Once bit, twice shy, they say. - -KATE. _You_ have been bitten? - -NOR. (_goes to R.C._) Badly. But it's all for the best. It's made me -distrustful of women and a confirmed bachelor. (_returns to back of -sofa_) Why do people want to get married? - -KATE. I've often wondered. - -NOR. (_about to take her hand_) Miss Derwent, I've been so awfully -glad I'm a confirmed bachelor, ever since I met _you._ - -KATE. (_removing her hand, which his hand follows_) What difference -can that make? - -NOR. Well, you see, if I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, I might have -been married. - -KATE. Well? - -NOR. (_hand business repeated_) And if I was married, I couldn't marry -again. - -KATE. Of course not. - -NOR. And if I couldn't marry again, I couldn't marry---- - -KATE. Go on. Finish your sentence. - -NOR. (_seizing her hand_) You! - -_Enter SIR PETER, through conservatory, suddenly, R.U.E. They take -opposite sides of the stage; KATE, L.C., NORMANTOWER, R._ - -SIR P. Ah! I saw you! (_comes down C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter, I believe you have eyes in the small of your back. - -SIR P. Yes--and ears too. I heard you. - -NOR. Then, why did you interrupt us? - -SIR P. I thought it was time. You forget, that I am in the next -room--that the rooms communicate through the terrace--and that you had -not taken the precaution of shutting the outer door of the -conservatory. (_KATE and NORMANTOWER look at one another_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE L.D., she goes down L. to KATE._ - -BEA. Ah, doctor! Philip was asking for you. He has just got up. What -time's your train, Miss Derwent? - -KATE. Half-past two. I must be getting ready. (_NORMANTOWER turns up -and opens R.U.D., standing above it_) - -SIR P. Then, it's decided, you are going? - -KATE. Quite. But I shall see you again. (_crosses in front of SIR -PETER up to R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_comes to front of sofa_) The brougham is quite at your service. -(_KATE bows and exit R.U.D. NORMANTOWER speaks through open door to -her for a few moments_) - -SIR P. (C.) So Miss Derwent is leaving you? - -BEA. She wished to go. She has always been allowed to do as she -pleased here, and she has availed herself of the privilege. - -SIR P. (_looking at BEATRICE_) I see. (_enter PHILIP L.D._) - -BEA. Ah, here is Philip! (_goes to him, affectionately_) - -PHIL. Good morning, doctor. (_coming down with his arm round -BEATRICE_) Morning, Normantower. (_goes to sofa and sits. BEATRICE -goes to back of table L.C. and sits_) - -NOR. Sorry to hear you're not so well this morning. (_comes down R. -and sits at piano, facing PHILIP_) - -PHIL. I ought to get better, if the best of doctors and the most -devoted of nurses are of any use; but somehow I don't. - -SIR P. You get worse. (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. I shouldn't mind so much, if I didn't find my temper giving -way--just now, I spoke quite crossly to poor little Mousey here -(_takes her hand_)--and she was only carrying out your instructions. -(_to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. The fact is, doctor, he's a very naughty boy, and won't take his -medicine, though I always give it him with my own hands. He hasn't -taken any to-day. - -SIR P. Oh, you won't take your medicine? - -PHIL. It's such horrid stuff; and somehow, I always feel worse after -taking it. - -SIR P. So much the better. Shows it's doing you good. - -NOR. (_smiling_) That's all my eye, doctor. (_BEATRICE rises and goes -towards R.U.D._) - -SIR P. No, sir, it's all his liver. Oblige me by not interrupting. - -BEA. (_up R.C._) Come, Lord Normantower. (_NORMANTOWER rises, turns up -and opens R.U.D. for BEATRICE, who crosses in front of him. PHILIP -rises and goes to L._) Sir Peter would like to be alone with Philip. -(_exit BEATRICE R.U.D._) - -NOR. (_following--aside_) And I'd like to be alone with Miss Derwent. -(_exit NORMANTOWER_) - -PHIL. Now I am at your service. (_arranges easy chair and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes to R. of table, L.C._) Have you made your will? - -PHIL. (_starts_) Well, you're a lively doctor! - -SIR P. Have you made your will? (_with emphasis_) - -PHIL. Am I so ill as that? (_aghast_) - -SIR P. Yes, sir--you are. - -PHIL. But if it's only my liver. - -SIR P. It is _not_ your liver. - -PHIL. Is it my heart? Is anything wrong there? - -SIR P. Nothing of any consequence. It's rather too large, and rather -too soft--that's all that's wrong with your heart. - -PHIL. What is it then? - -SIR P. (_sits on sofa_) I can account for your condition, only on one -hypothesis, and that one is out of the question. - -PHIL. Mayn't I know what it is? - -SIR P. Since it's out of the question, it's no use discussing it. You -haven't answered me. Have you made your will? - -PHIL. Yes--long ago. It was a very simple matter. Mildred is provided -for; so I have left everything to my wife, absolutely. (_SIR PETER -rises and rings the bell, below fire, crossing in front_) - -PHIL. Do you want anything? - -SIR P. Yes. The name and address of your solicitor. - -PHIL. Old Merivale, of High Street! why? (_enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., she -comes on to R.C._) - -SIR P. (_crosses to C._) Mr. Selwyn's compliments to Mr. Merivale, -Solicitor, High Street, and will he kindly come here at once? (_exit -JOHNSON R.U.D. SIR PETER returns to R. of table_) - -PHIL. What for? - -SIR P. To draw your will. - -PHIL. But I tell you, I've made it. - -SIR P. You must make another. (_sits, produces documents, and puts on -pince-nez_) - -PHIL. Sir Peter, you are incomprehensible! - -SIR P. Let me make myself clear. Your father, Philip Selwyn, was -married to your mother, Mildred Kent, in July, 1865. I need not show -you the certificate. - -PHIL. Of course not. - -SIR P. Two years before, in March, 1863, one Philip Derwent was -married to one Kate Graham. - -PHIL. Derwent? Kate? Miss Derwent's father, I presume? - -SIR P. Yes. There is the certificate. - -PHIL. I don't want to see it. - -SIR P. But I want you to see it. (_gives it to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_glances at it and returns it_) How does it concern me? - -SIR P. It concerns _her_, doesn't it? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. And she being your half-sister, it concerns _you_. - -PHIL. Miss Derwent, my half-sister! What do you mean? - -SIR P. That Philip Selwyn and Philip Derwent were one and the same -person. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Of that I have no proof, except your father's word. - -PHIL. My father's word? - -SIR P. Given to me on his death-bed. Do you _doubt_ his word? Do you -doubt mine? - -PHIL. No--but I cannot grasp it! Am I awake, or am I dreaming? I have -such strange dreams. - -SIR P. You are awake--and for the first time in your life. Till -to-day, you have been living in a dream. - -PHIL. My father was a widower, when he married my mother? Why did he -not say so? Why did he change his name? - -SIR P. Because he was _not_ a widower. - -PHIL. Not a widower! - -SIR P. Because his first wife was alive---- - -PHIL. Alive! (_leaning well forward_) - -SIR P. There is the certificate of her death--twenty years later. - -(_PHILIP takes it, looks at it blankly, drops back into seat._) - -PHIL. (_after a short pause_) Incredible! - -SIR P. I haven't half done yet. - -PHIL. Go on--go on. (_leaning forward again to table and placing -certificate on it_) - -SIR P. You inherited from your father everything you possess? - -PHIL. Everything! - -SIR P. He bequeathed to you, and your sister Mildred, all his fortune? - -PHIL. All. - -SIR P. Where did he get that fortune? - -PHIL. Well? - -SIR P. From his first wife. - -PHIL. (_springing up_) It's false! it _must_ be false! - -SIR P. (_rises_) I have his word for it, and it can be proved. He left -her penniless; and left his child to struggle with the world as best -they could--and nobly they did it. Yes, sir, it is too true. The -father you have loved and honoured _was_---- - -PHIL. (_extending his arms, as if to stop SIR PETER_) My father! (_SIR -PETER stands for a moment, nonplussed_) - -SIR P. Was your father--just so. (_turns off. SIR PETER picks up -certificate from table and goes to R.C. down stage, folding papers -which he returns to his pocket, PHILIP leans on mantel-piece--aside, -looking at PHILIP_) Takes it very well. - -PHIL. (_goes to L.C., helping himself by table_) I want to ask you one -question. Dare I? (_they stand looking at one another for an instant_) - -SIR P. You mean, your mother. - -PHIL. Yes. - -SIR P. She knew nothing of this. - -PHIL. Thank heaven for that--thank heaven! (_falls heavily into sofa, -and sobs upon the table_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, followed by KATE, in travelling dress, R.U.D. SIR -PETER down R. PHILIP sits up._ - -BEA. (_up C._) Philip dear, Miss Derwent has come to say good-bye to -you. She is going. (_crosses behind and goes down L. of table_) - -PHIL. (_rising_) She is _not_ going. (_SIR PETER turns up to piano_) - -KATE. (_crosses down to PHILIP_) The brougham is at the door, Mr. -Selwyn, and I have left myself barely time to catch the train; but I -could not go without shaking hands with you, and thanking you for all -your kindness. I came here a stranger, and I have found almost a -brother. (_offers her two hands_) - -PHIL. (_taking and holding them_) Yes, you _have_ found a brother; and -_I_ have found a sister. - -KATE. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Whom I have wronged without knowing it--of whose very existence -I was unaware till this moment; but whom I know at last, and to whom I -will make restitution. - -BEA. Philip? (_advances a step; PHILIP turns to BEATRICE_) - -KATE. (_turning to SIR PETER_) You have broken your promise! - -SIR P. I made no promise. (_sits R. by piano, interested in scene_) - -PHIL. Yes, Beatrice, this is my sister---- - -KATE. (_C., breaking out_) But you need not acknowledge me. I ask for -nothing but to go away. Let the past be forgotten. Of what use is it -to revive a sorrow that is dead, and to publish a sin that is unknown? -(_to SIR PETER_) It cannot be right to make three beings unhappy, to -do justice to one, when all that one asks is to go away. - -PHIL. You know, then? - -KATE. Everything! - -PHIL. And you have said nothing! - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa_) Because you have taught me to love you! -(_PHILIP sinks on sofa_) I want you to be happy--I want to be happy -myself--and if I wreck your happiness, I shall destroy my own. All I -ask is to go--let me go! let me go! (_goes to SIR PETER who rises and -checks her, and then sits again_) - -PHIL. It is for me to go. This place belongs to you. - -BEA. (L.C.) To her? (_front of table_) - -PHIL. Yes, all I have is hers. (_turning to BEATRICE_) Beatrice, my -father was not married to my mother legally--he was married -before--Kate is his lawful child--the money he left me was her -mother's--and to her it must be restored, to the last shilling. - -SIR P. (_rises_) Nonsense! this is quixotic! - -PHIL. (_peremptorily_) I know what my duty is, and it shall be done. -(_to BEATRICE_) Am I not right? - -BEA. (_humbly_) Yes, Philip. - -PHIL. (_goes to KATE, C., takes her hand and puts arm round her; to -KATE_) You have battled with the world long enough. Now it is _my_ -turn. Till to-day I have been living in a fool's paradise, but now I -have awaken from my dream. I am not afraid, because I am not alone. -(_goes slowly to BEATRICE and takes her hand_) Many things have been -taken from me. My fortune, my good name, my father's memory--all these -are gone! but you are left to me. I have a wife to work for, whose -love will sustain me; who will share my trials as she has shared my -prosperity. (_goes towards KATE_) Don't fear for me. I will fight and -I will conquer. (_dropping exhausted_) Ah, if I were only stronger! -(_on sofa; BEATRICE goes to fire, L._) - -SIR P. (_goes to KATE who is R. of sofa; to KATE who is about to -speak_) You have said enough. Remember, your brother is an invalid. -(_goes to R.C._) - -PHIL. But I _won't_ be an invalid--I'll make my will to-day. - -BEA. _Another_ will? (_at fire_) - -PHIL. Leaving Kate everything. - -KATE. (_to back of sofa, R. of PHILIP_) Philip! I _must_ speak, for -our sister's sake. If you have no thought for yourself, have some for -her. - -PHIL. Mildred is provided for already. I cannot deal with _her_ money; -but I can with my own. - -KATE. It is not a question of money. Remember, if this secret is made -known---- - -PHIL. Ah! - -KATE. What will be said of her? - -PHIL. That never crossed my thoughts. - -KATE. (_goes down a few steps, C._) Think of it now. It is not too -late. - -PHIL. Oh! (_pressing his hands to his temples_) What am I to do? - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa, below it and kneels_) Do what is best for -everyone. Accept a favour from a sister who asks you--on her knees! -Keep our secret! Remain here--the master of Ravenhurst. Philip! For -Mildred's sake. - -PHIL. (_opening his arms_) Kate! may God bless you! - -KATE. Brother! (_falling into his arms. BEATRICE stands with her head -bowed submissively_) - -SIR P. (_comes to KATE who rises, he takes her away R.C. a few steps_) -There, that's settled. Now, let my patient have a little rest. - -PHIL. (_to KATE, who moves away_) You won't go far? You won't leave -Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. (_prompting KATE_) No. - -KATE. No. - -PHIL. You will stay here--under this roof? - -SIR P. (_prompting_) Yes. - -KATE. If I am welcome--for the present--yes. - -PHIL. And for the future? - -BEA. (_crosses to C._) Yes. Your sister will be always welcome here. -(_takes KATE'S hand. KATE bows to her and exit R.I.D. BEATRICE turns -to PHILIP caressingly_) - -SIR P. (_following--aside_) Damn'd good actress, that woman! (_exit -R._) - -PHIL. How can I thank you, Beatrice? How can I tell you bow proud I am -of you, and how I love you? (_holding both her hands, draws her down -by his side_) Oh, my darling wife, how can I soften this blow which -has fallen upon you? (_embracing her_) - -BEA. Philip, don't think of _me._ - -PHIL. (_R. arm round her_) But I _must_ think of you, who never think -of yourself. If I were to die? (_L. hand holding hers_) - -BEA. Dearest, don't talk of death. (_withdraws hand_) - -PHIL. (_takes his arm from her, and leans forward_) I am more ill than -I seem--more ill than anybody knows. I can't help thinking of death, -for every day it seems to draw nearer and nearer. I can feel it -coming--slowly, mysteriously, weirdly--gathering about me--wrapping me -round and round. (_almost to himself_) - -BEA. (_rises_) Hush, Philip, hush! You are tired. (_goes away two -steps to C._) Shall I leave you for a while? - -PHIL. No, no! Don't go away. (_holding out his hands as she moves up -to back of sofa, R. of him_) You are all I have left, mousey. I am not -tired; but oh, I feel so drowsy! I seem to get worse every day. - -BEA. And why, my dear? Because you won't take your medicine. Come. Let -me bring it you now. (_goes towards L.D._) - -PHIL. That beastly medicine! Perhaps I'd better take it; but I shall -have no head to talk to old Merivale, when he comes. - -BEA. You've sent for him? (_behind chair back of table_) - -PHIL. I expect him every minute. - -BEA. Then, there's no time to be lost. I'll bring it you at once. -(_goes L._) - -PHIL. I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey? (_R. end of sofa facing her_) - -BEA. In what way? (_at door L._) - -PHIL. In making this new will. - -BEA. You always do right, Philip. - -PHIL. I have your acquiescence? - -BEA. Certainly. - -PHIL. Then, I will lose no time. It shall be made to-day. - -_Exit BEATRICE, L.D._ - -PHIL. (_knock at door, R._) Who is it? - -_Enter TOM R.U.D., followed closely by MILDRED, arm in arm._ - -TOM. (_up R.C._) Only me, Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_up R.C._) Only _I,_ Tom. - -TOM. Oh, bother grammar! (_releases her arm, they come down to C._) - -PHIL. Well, children? How are _you_ to-day? - -TOM. (_L. of MILDRED_) Oh, we're all right; but, I say, Mr. Selwyn, I -wish everybody wouldn't call us "children." I don't like it. - -MIL. And it's not true. - -TOM. I'm turned sixteen. - -MIL. And I'm fifteen next birthday! - -PHIL. Well, then, my man and woman, what do you want? - -TOM. You tell him, Mildred! } - } (_half whispered_) -MIL. No--_you_ tell him, Tom! } - -TOM. Are you quite well enough to stand a shock? - -PHIL. What, are you studying electricity? Or is it some toy? - -TOM. Electricity! (_with contempt--turns up C., and down again_) - -MIL. A toy! - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn, you make it jolly hard for a fellow to say what he -wants to say--just when he wants a leg up. - -MIL. Tom! "A leg up?" - -TOM. Oh, bother style! Let me say what I mean. - -PHIL. And what do you mean, my lad? (_smiling_) - -TOM. If you please--we want to get married. (_rather frightened, -taking MILDRED'S hand, and retreating with her up to R.C., facing -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_suddenly serious_) Want to get married? - -MIL. That's the shock! - -TOM. (_aside to her_) Now for it. (_holding her tight_) Don't run -away--_I_ won't! - -PHIL. You are both too young to think about such things! - -TOM. (_sturdily_) I'm sure we're not too young--(_down to C._) - -MIL. To _think_ about such things. - -PHIL. Well, to talk about them. - -MIL. (_crosses TOM to PHILIP, back of sofa. Imploringly_) Philip! - -TOM. Mildred, this is no place for you. (_hands her across to R.U.D._) -Leave me alone with Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_aside to TOM_) Tom! You won't come to blows? (_at R.U.D._) - -TOM. (_L. of her, aside to her_) I will control myself. I will not -forget the respect that is due to the brother of my affianced wife. - -MIL. That's right, Tom. - -TOM. Wait for me--on the mat. (_exit MILDRED, R.U.D. TOM comes boldly -down to C._) Now, Mr. Selwyn, we are alone. We can discuss this matter -as men of the world. - -PHIL. My dear Tom-- (_TOM draws himself up_) Mr. Verinder--Such a -thing as marriage at your early age is, of course, preposterous; but I -wish you distinctly to understand that the remotest idea of an -engagement between you and Mildred is equally out of the question. - -TOM. May I ask why, sir? - -PHIL. You belong to a very proud family; and there are reasons which -you would scarcely understand---- - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Which, at any rate, I can't enter into--that make it impossible -you should ever marry my sister. - -TOM. That is your ultimatum? (_a step towards PHILIP_) - -PHIL. Yes. (_sighing_) - -TOM. Good day, sir. (_walks to the door, R., with importance, suddenly -breaks down--exit blubbering, R.U.D._) - -PHIL. (_rises_) Poor Tom! He's only a boy, but he's a gentleman! -(_goes to fire, L., and leans on mantle_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., pouring medicine out of a medicine bottle -into a medicine glass, in which she has already put the poison. She -comes down C. to R. of table._ - -BEA. Here it is, Philip. (_hands glass to him_) - -PHIL. Oh dear me, how tired I am of the horrid stuff! (_takes glass, -and sits wearily L. of table_) Surely you have given me too much? - -BEA. No--just the right measure. See! (_between table and sofa, -holding up bottle_) - -PHIL. How many doses are there left? - -BEA. (_with bottle_) Only three more. (_puts bottle on R. of table, -and goes round behind to back of PHILIP_) Now, drink it up without -thinking about it; and if, like a good boy, you don't leave a drop, -you shall have a kiss afterwards, to take the taste away. - -PHIL. Well, I suppose I must. (_raises glass to his lips--about to -drink, BEATRICE watches him eagerly_) - -_Enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., quickly._ - -JOHN. (_up R.C._) Oh, if you please'm! (_pants_) - -(_PHILIP puts glass down on L. side of table_) - -BEA. (_annoyed_) What's the matter, Johnson? (_moves a little towards -JOHNSON_) - -JOHN. Miss Mildred---- (_out of breath_) - -PHIL. What of Miss Mildred? - -JOHN. She is in hysterics. - -PHIL. Mildred ill! (_rises and goes quickly across R. Exeunt JOHNSON -and PHILIP R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_follows across to R.C. up stage_) Never mind Mildred! Philip -dear! (_stamps her foot_) Only another second and---- (_moves down C. -looking at glass_) - -PHIL. (_off_) Beatrice! - -_Re-enter TOM breathless, R._ - -TOM. Oh, Mrs. Selwyn, please do come to Mildred! She's in a fit, or -something. (_R. of BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Nonsense! - -TOM. Do come, please! (_passes behind to L. of her_) The shock has -been too much for her. - -_Re-enter PHILIP quickly._ - -PHIL. Beatrice! Quick! (_TOM has her L. hand, PHILIP her right; they -force her to the door between them; as BEATRICE exits she looks back -at glass on table_) - -BEA. In a moment! (_glancing at glass_) - -TOM. Come along! - -PHIL. Beatrice! do come! (_exeunt R. upper door. The door shuts with a -bang. Music in orchestra_) - -_SIR PETER appears in the conservatory, and enters from R._ - -SIR P. Nobody here. Perhaps he's lying down. (_taps at door, L._) -Nobody there. They've gone downstairs. (_comes down to C. passing -behind sofa_) He must be better, then. (_music stops, pause, lost in -thought_) Peter, my boy, if anyone had told you, you could study a -case as you have studied this, for a week, and not be able to make -head or tail of it, you would have kicked--pulled his nose for him. -(_goes to R. of table._) What _is_ the matter with this man? Of course -it _might_ be--but that's out of the question. (_sits on sofa_) Ah, -there's his medicine. What did he say? He always felt worse after -taking it. I don't know why he should. Only a tonic, with a nasty -flavour. People like nasty medicine. Think it does 'em good. (_rises, -tastes it_) Well--_it is_ nasty. (_starts slightly as he tastes it on -his tongue--lifts glass to light, examines it, then smells it, smells -it again, tastes again cautiously by his finger, sets the glass down, -and stands looking at it_) Nothing's out of the question! I ought to -have known it. (_pours dose into the goblet, smells and tastes the -bottle_) That's all right. (_music in orchestra. Pours out another -dose into the glass, which he replaces exactly where he found it, -recorks the bottle and exit slowly with goblet through conservatory, -R., pausing in C. a moment to examine medicine._) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R., quickly, sees the medicine, stops short and -resumes her wonted manner; down C. Re-enter PHILIP, R.; music stops._ - -PHIL. She's better now; but I was rather alarmed. (_down to C._) - -BEA. Poor child! (_goes to fire L._) - -PHIL. She'll soon get over it. Only a girlish fancy. Where did I put -that medicine? (_looking about_) - -BEA. Here it is, dear. (_gives him the glass--advancing to him_) - -PHIL. (_grimacing_) You can't think how I hate it. - -BEA. Don't be so absurd. I declare, you're as great a baby as _she_ -is. (_backs up stage, watching him_) - -PHIL. One--two--three! (_drinks it off. BEATRICE gives a sigh of -satisfaction_) Ugh! Give me some water. (_goes to piano and puts glass -down_) - -BEA. (_passes behind table down to L. of it_) Why, the tumbler is -gone! Who can have taken it? (_looking about_) - -PHIL. Johnson, I daresay. (_sits R. by piano_) All right; I'm better -now. That's one dose less to take. (_Re-enter SIR PETER through -conservatory, with the goblet empty_) Three more, I think you said. - -BEA. (_holds up bottle_) But there are only _two!_ (_alarmed_) -Someone's been here! - -SIR P. Yes, _I_ have. (_comes down C. to R. of sofa_) - -BEA. (_terrified_) _You!_ - -SIR P. Your husband complained of his medicine. I thought I'd test it; -so I took a dose. - -BEA. (_dismayed_) _You_ took it? (_puts bottle on table_) - -SIR P. Yes. (_looking at her_) - -PHIL. A doctor take a dose of his own medicine! - -SIR P. Only to my room. (_advances to R. of table_) Allow me to return -you the glass. (_gives goblet to BEATRICE_) - -PHIL. And you have tested it? - -SIR P. Yes. - -BEA. (_prepared for the worst_) With what result? - -SIR P. With none. As I expected, just what I prescribed. (_sits on -sofa. BEATRICE, intensely relieved, turns aside to hide her emotion, -as if to put goblet on mantel-piece, L._) - -PHIL. And what did you prescribe, Sir Peter? What is this stuff you're -giving me? - -SIR P. A very common medicine. (_crossing his legs_) - -PHIL. But what is it? - -SIR P. (_With his eyes fixed on BEATRICE_) Arsenic. (_PHILIP'S face -falls. BEATRICE turns quickly, dropping the goblet, which is shivered -to fragments_) - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty minutes. Wait: Eleven minutes._ - - -ACT III. - -SCENE.--_Same as Act II. It is after dinner, the room is lighted. -Evening dress. KATE is discovered at piano, finishing a song; -NORMANTOWER standing beside her. TOM, L., and MILDRED, R., are seated -on the centre seat, taking no notice of anybody, and looking the -pictures of woe. BEATRICE'S fan on piano. Lights full up in front. -Blue limes in conservatory._ - -NOR. Thanks, awfully! (_R. of KATE, above her_) - -KATE. That's Mr. Selwyn's favourite--(_rising_)--the music's pretty, -but such stupid words. (_crosses down to C., NORMANTOWER follows her_) - -NOR. Yes, but you sing them with such an expression. - -KATE. Such an appropriate expression? - -_Enter SERVANTS, R.U.D., with coffee, etc., which they hand to KATE. -PRICE enters first, followed by SERVANT. The former carries large -salver with cups of coffee; the latter, sugar and milk on small -salver. They go down to back of sofa._ - -NOR. Yes, that's what I meant. Such an appropriate expression! - -KATE. (_laughing_) Of stupidity? (_goes to sofa_) - -NOR. No, no! That isn't what I meant. Oh dear, I never _can_ say what -I want to say, to you. - -KATE. Shall I assist you? - -NOR. If you only would! (_C.R. of sofa_) - -KATE. I mean to sugar. - -NOR. _I_ meant to sugar. - -KATE. Cream? - -NOR. Thanks awfully. (_KATE hands cup to NORMANTOWER, and takes -another herself, and sits on sofa, L. of it_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I _didn't_ mean sugar, but I _must_ agree with her. - -_SERVANTS offer coffee to TOM and then to MILDRED; they simply reverse -their attitudes, without taking further notice. Exeunt SERVANTS -R.U.D._ - -KATE. (_cup in hand_) Is that as you like it? - -NOR. (_seating himself by her_) This is just as I like it. So, it's -quite settled, you're going to stay here? (_on sofa_) - -KATE. Yes, I find I can't tear myself away from Ravenhurst--I'm a -fixture. - -NOR. I say! are you a landlord's or a tenant's fixture? - -KATE. Oh, I'm attached to the freehold--very much attached to it. - -NOR. That's a pity. I thought perhaps you were removable. - -KATE. What if I were? - -NOR. I should like to remove you, that's all. - -KATE. I thought you were a confirmed bachelor? - -NOR. That's just it. That's what makes it so jolly, I being a -confirmed bachelor, and you being a confirmed old maid---- - -KATE. _Old_ maid? - -NOR. I mean, you _will_ be an old maid--in time. - -KATE. You didn't say so. - -NOR. But I _meant,_ in time. So there's no danger. We can do what we -like. - -KATE. Of course, we can do what we like. - -NOR. We can talk together. - -KATE. We can walk together. - -NOR. We can sing together! - -KATE. Do you mean, in time? - -NOR. Miss Derwent, it was _you_ who were out of time yesterday. That -was a crotchet. - -KATE. Nay, it was a quaver. - -NOR. A crotchet. } (_rising, crossing to R. and putting - } _ad lib._ down cup on piano_) -KATE. A quaver. } (_rising and putting down cup on - table L. and then cross to R.C._) - -NOR. Here is the music--see. (_takes it from piano and comes to her -R.C._) - -_Enter BEATRICE, L.D., and sits unobserved, on sofa._ - -KATE. (_pointing to note_) What did I tell you? - -NOR. You said a quaver. - -KATE. No, I said a crotchet. - -NOR. Oh! - -KATE. Certainly, a crotchet. This is how it goes. (_takes the music, -crosses him, and sits at piano and sings one verse of a song_) - -NOR. (_enraptured_) Thanks--oh thanks, awfully. (_standing on her R._) - -BEA. Rather high for you, isn't it, my dear? (_both turn_) - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! (_turns and advances C._) - -KATE. (_rises_) I beg your pardon? - -BEA. Your voice is so charming, it is a pity to strain it. - -KATE. (_goes down R.C._) I wasn't aware I had an audience. I was -simply endeavouring to convince Lord Normantower that a crotchet is -not a quaver. I was not attempting to sing. - -BEA. My love, you are too modest. I never heard you sing better. -(_KATE grimaces aside_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I think, I'd better turn the conversation. (_Goes to R. -of sofa_) How is Philip, this evening? - -KATE. Yes, how is Mr. Selwyn? - -BEA. I'm glad to say, much stronger. - -NOR. That's good news. I was afraid, as Sir Peter did not dine with -us, your husband was worse. - -BEA. Sir Peter has been with him all the afternoon, and has announced -his intention of remaining till he has solved the mystery of Philip's -illness. It is really very kind of Sir Peter. - -KATE. Sir Peter is kindness itself. (_returns to piano, and sits_) - -BEA. You can imagine what a satisfaction it is to me, to know that my -husband is in such excellent care. - -NOR. But has he formed no opinion as to what is the matter with -Philip? - -BEA. He seems to think, it is nothing worse than an aggravated case of -dyspepsia, and he attaches the greatest importance to diet. He has -forbidden poor Philip almost everything. Sir Peter is a little -crotchety, but he is paying the greatest attention to the case. And -he's so clever! I am charmed with him. (_NORMANTOWER crosses to piano, -and stands R. of KATE who plays softly. TOM rises, crosses to MILDRED -and takes her hand. She rises, and they advance down a step R.C._) - -TOM. (_aside to MILDRED_) Could you die, Mildred? - -MIL. I want to, Tom. - -TOM. Then let's die together! - -MIL. Yes--but how? - -TOM. I don't know. That's the worst of me. I'm so beastly ignorant. - -MIL. There's a pond at the bottom of the garden. - -TOM. Is there? - -MIL. Six feet deep. - -TOM. Let's go at once. - -MIL. And throw ourselves in? - -TOM. We'll have a look at it first. (_exit with MILDRED R.C. to R._) - -(_PHILIP heard off L. KATE stops playing._) - -KATE. Surely that's Mr. Selwyn! (_BEATRICE rises and goes across up to -opening R.C., following TOM and MILDRED_) - -(_SIR PETER heard off L._) - -NOR. Here they are, both of them. - -_Enter PHILIP, followed by SIR PETER, L.D. SIR PETER goes down L., -puts snuff-box on mantel, and stands with back to fire; PHILIP comes -to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets him._ - -KATE. You, Mr. Selwyn. Then you're better! - -PHIL. Yes--feeling another man. I've even been attending to business, -with my solicitor. (_KATE turns away up to R.C._) I must admit, Sir -Peter's treatment is justified by the result, but I can't say I -altogether relish it. (_to NORMANTOWER_) What do you think he's giving -me? (_down, front of sofa_) - -NOR. What? (_advances to C._) - -PHIL. Arsenic. (_sitting on sofa_) - -NOR. Gracious me! (_BEATRICE comes down, and sits R. by piano_) - -KATE. (_comes down, L. of BEATRICE_) Arsenic! That's nothing! Many -ladies take it. - -NOR. Ladies take arsenic! (_turning to KATE_) - -KATE. Don't they, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. I should hope not, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. _You_ never heard of such a thing, of course? - -NOR. What do they take it for? - -SIR P. My dear young gentleman, have you lived six and twenty years -without discovering that the female complexion is usually an -artificial product? - -NOR. Well, I know a powder-puff when I see one, but arsenic! (_turns -up a little C. with KATE_) - -SIR P. Pooh! a common drug! - -BEA. Miss Derwent, so sorry to trouble you--but the night dews are -falling, and Mildred has gone out without a shawl. - -KATE. I'll get one at once. (_exit, R., upper door_) - -NOR. Yes--we'll get one at once. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -(_Directly NORMANTOWER is off, PRICE and SERVANT re-enter, R.U.D., -with coffee, which they offer to BEATRICE, who is sitting R. by -piano._) - -PHIL. I must say, I agree with Normantower. When you told me what you -were giving me, it was rather a shock even to me, and it nearly -frightened poor Beatrice out of her life. - -BEA. Philip, don't speak of it. (_takes coffee_) Don't you remember -what happened? - -PHIL. You broke a glass. - -BEA. And breaking glass is so unlucky. - -(_SERVANTS cross and offer coffee to PHILIP, who takes a cup without -milk and sugar, SIR PETER not noticing. They then pass behind to SIR -PETER, who takes coffee. PRICE clears KATE'S cup from the table, then -crosses, followed by SERVANT and exeunt R.U.D._) - -PHIL. Mousey, you'll make Sir Peter laugh at you. (_NORMANTOWER talks -to KATE_) - -SIR P. Why should I? - -PHIL. Surely _you_ don't believe in luck? (_takes coffee_) - -SIR P. Everybody believes in luck, except fools, who attribute their -successes to their merits. My experience teaches me differently. I -know, one may study a case for a week, and master it only by -accident--as I have mastered yours. (_exeunt SERVANTS_) - -BEA. (_rises_) You've mastered Philip's? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. Yes. As I suspected. Liver. - -BEA. Ah! Then, after all, it is only dyspepsia? - -SIR P. (L.) _Only_ dyspepsia, madam! What's the word suffering -from?--vice--crime--drink--poverty? What are they all? Indigestion. - -PHIL. My wife means, nothing dangerous--one can hardly die of -dyspepsia. - -SIR P. Sir, one can die of anything. If you only knew the number of -things one can die of, you'd wonder any of us are alive. (_PHILIP -laughs and lifts his cup to drink_) What have you there? (_going up to -back of table_) - -PHIL. Only some coffee. - -SIR P. Put it down, sir, instantly. (_hand on table_) - -BEA. Mayn't he have coffee, doctor? - -SIR P. (_crosses behind sofa to C._) Coffee! Most indigestible! Have I -not given my orders? He is to taste nothing more to-day, except one -dose of medicine before going to bed. (_BEATRICE goes to piano, puts -her cup down and picks up her fan_) - -PHIL. Another dose, to-night? - -SIR P. One more; it's most important. (_rises_) - -BEA. Is Mr. Merivale still here? (_at piano_) - -PHIL. Oh no, he went some time ago. - -BEA. (_quickly_) Then have you made the will? - -PHIL. Not yet. (_SIR PETER watches BEATRICE closely_) Merivale insists -on making his own inquiries before taking any other steps in the -matter. If Sir Peter's information is confirmed, he will accept my -instructions. I am to see him again at twelve o'clock to-morrow. - -BEA. Twelve o'clock? - -SIR P. Now you must rest. You've had a trying day (_hand on PHILIP's -shoulder_) (_PHILIP rises and stands back to audience_) - -BEA. (_BEATRICE advances to SIR PETER_) You needn't trouble, doctor. -_I_ will go with Philip. - -SIR P. Thank you--it is no trouble. Come, my boy. (_PHILIP takes his -R. arm, and they go up_) - -PHIL. (_up L.C._) How can I repay you for all your attention? - -SIR P. By obeying me to the letter. Diet's the great thing; and the -less the better. Eat nothing--drink nothing. - -PHIL. But one dose of medicine. - -SIR P. Just one more. (_exit with PHILIP, L.U.D., music in orchestra_) - -BEA. (_behind sofa, R. of it_) One more! My last chance--and I dare -not take it. At twelve o'clock to-morrow, all I have worked for, all I -have schemed for, all I have married for, slips through my fingers. -(_gets front of sofa_) And I can do nothing! No, it is too dangerous; -and if I stop now, I am safe enough. But what is safety worth? Tied to -my husband for his life, and at his death, a pauper! Whilst she--_she_ -will be the Countess of Normantower! Unless--unless--(_sits on sofa -smiling to herself_). He doesn't know that she is Philip's sister. It -is arranged it shall be kept a secret. Then, why is Philip leaving her -his fortune? If I could make him think there was another reason. He is -in love, and love is always jealous. If I could only sow a doubt -between them. Countess of Normantower! What I have thrown away! -(_music stops_) - -_Re-enter NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. (_goes to C._) It's all right. We've found the shawl. - -BEA. Did it take two to find it? - -NOR. It took two to look for it. Miss Derwent looked everywhere for -the shawl, and I looked everywhere for Miss Derwent. - -BEA. You are great friends. - -NOR. Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. I like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort. - -BEA. I thought you hated all women. - -NOR. On the contrary, I am never so happy as in the society of ladies. - -BEA. You, who are always raving against marriage. - -NOR. That's the reason. To marry is to devote oneself to an -individual; whilst a bachelor can devote himself to the sex. Besides, -I have to study economy--and it comes cheaper on taking a quantity. - -BEA. Perhaps, you are right. Marriage is a terrible lottery. - -NOR. You should be thankful you have drawn a prize. - -BEA. Don't mock me. - -NOR. I'm sure you couldn't have a better husband than Philip. He's one -of the best fellows in the world. - -BEA. Ah! there's only one prize--to a woman. - -NOR. (_aside_) She means me. (_two steps away_) - -BEA. All the rest are blanks. And sometimes worse than blanks. - -NOR. (_aside_) This is damn'd awkward! (_a further movement R.C._) - -BEA. (_rises_) Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation which I have -had no opportunity of giving you. Your time is so much occupied, and -we are so seldom alone. - -NOR. (_aside, R.C._) I wish somebody'd come! - -BEA. (C.) When you first came to Ravenhurst, I made what must have -seemed a very strange avowal. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn, I have tried to forget it, and I hope you will -assist me. And the best way to forget it, is not to say anything about -it. - -BEA. I have tried to be silent--but in justice to myself, I must -speak. You know my marriage was not my own wish; but having married, -do me the justice to believe I would have been a true and loyal wife, -if Philip had been all you think he is. - -NOR. Philip? - -BEA. I have accepted my lot without a murmur. Even now, my only wish -is that you should not think too harshly of my indiscretion; but at -the sight of you, the old times came back so vividly, that words -sprang to my lips which I should not have spoken, even under such -provocation as mine. - -NOR. I have known Philip nearly all my life, and this is the first -breath I ever heard against him. I can't help thinking you must be -mistaken. - -BEA. Think so--by all means think so! I do not ask for pity or for -sympathy. I only said so much in self-defence. Now I have done. (_goes -to L._) - -NOR. (_aside_) Thank goodness! - -BEA. But you are quite right to remain a bachelor. Marriage is a -mistake. (_sitting in easy chair L._) - -NOR. (_goes to L.C._) There are two ways of looking at it; and, after -all, one ought to see both sides. I've looked at one for so long, I'm -seriously thinking of taking a turn at the other. (_sits on sofa_) - -BEA. You contemplate being married? - -NOR. Well, I have had some thoughts of it. (_toying with BEATRICE'S -fan which she has left on sofa_) - -BEA. Whom shall I have the pleasure of congratulating? - -NOR. Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked her yet--at least, not -properly. I'm sort of--feeling my way. - -BEA. I don't think you need fear. - -NOR. D'you think she'll have me--really! - -BEA. Of course, I don't know who the lady is. - -NOR. Oh, yes you do, Miss Derwent. - -BEA. (_rises suddenly_) Miss Derwent? - -NOR. Yes, of course. You must have seen I'm awfully gone on her. - -BEA. And you propose to marry her. - -NOR. Well I should like to. - -BEA. (_drops back into seat_) What am I to say? - -NOR. What do you mean? - -BEA. Nothing. I only meant--rather a mesalliance, isn't it? - -NOR. I don't see that at all. I'm no great catch. I'm as poor as a -church mouse. - -BEA. A coronet is something. - -NOR. Pooh! What's a coronet? A thing they stick about on hansom cabs. -Sixpence a mile. - -BEA. And don't you owe a duty to your family? - -NOR. My family owe a great deal more to me, but there's precious -little chance of their stumping up. - -BEA. (_rises_) Let me see. How long have you known Miss Derwent? -(_front of table_) - -NOR. About a week. (_R. end of sofa, facing her_) - -BEA. And don't you think it's dangerous, to marry on so short an -acquaintance? - -NOR. To marry anybody else, it would be. Not to marry _her._ - -BEA. Have you told Philip? - -NOR. No--what's _he_ to do with it? - -BEA. (_crosses to R.C._) Nothing, of course! No, nothing. Why should I -tell you! (_hand on chair L. of piano_) Why should I publish my own -humiliation? And yet, we are such old friends, how can I stand by, and -see your whole life ruined? No! Lord Normantower, this marriage is -impossible. (_goes towards LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_rises_) I don't see that at all. - -BEA. You are in love, and blind! Has it never struck you? Why is Miss -Derwent here? - -NOR. Isn't she Mildred's governess? - -BEA. Mildred requires no governess. - -NOR. Well, her companion--yours. - -BEA. Mine! _My_ companion! Yes, you are right there. Yes, my -companion--in my husband's heart. (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. Surely, you cannot mean--(_follows a step_) - -BEA. My rival! Yes! I mean, that Philip is her lover. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. Now I have told you my secret, and I leave it to your honour to -respect it. - -NOR. You accuse Miss Derwent--you accuse your husband---- - -BEA. Yes, I accuse them both. You know what happened this morning; -Miss Derwent was going away, and my husband insisted on her remaining; -but you don't know what happened this afternoon. So mad is Philip's -infatuation that he is even making a new will, bequeathing her every -shilling he possesses, leaving me an outcast and a beggar. - -_SIR PETER appears, L.D.--he observes them talking and goes into -conservatory, L.C._ - -NOR. Surely you are mistaken. (_backing a step_) - -BEA. I am _not_ mistaken! Sir Peter knows of this will. He will tell -you what I say is the truth. But not a word about my secret? I leave -that to your honour. (_crosses and goes up C. to L.C._) - -NOR. (_aside_) I wish she wouldn't leave my honour legacies. (_turns -up to opening, R.C._) - -_SIR PETER comes out from conservatory, L.C., intercepting BEATRICE as -she goes to door, L._ - -SIR P. Where are you going? - -BEA. Only to sit with Philip. (_going L._) - -SIR P. (_blocking the way_) He is lying down, and must on no account -be disturbed. - -BEA. Surely a wife---- - -SIR P. Is the most likely person to disturb her husband. - -BEA. (_pushing past, viciously_) Sir Peter, I _will_ see him! (_exit, -L.D._) - -SIR P. (_aside, looking after her_) But you can't. (_produces key, -looks at it and replaces it in his pocket, then goes down L., and -leans on mantel, on the opposite side of stage to LORD NORMAN- -TOWER--both lost in thought_) - -NOR. (_aside, leaning against column, R.C._) How can I ask Sir Peter? -How can I say, has Selwyn made a will, leaving his wife a beggar? I -know what his answer would be. "Sir, what the devil has that to do -with you?" And yet it has a lot to do with me. I regard Miss Derwent's -reputation as my own, and I'm not going to have aspersions cast on it. -If I could clear things up, I might be able to convince Mrs. Selwyn of -her mistake. But how can I broach the subject? It's a teazer. (_sits -up, R.C., in alcove_) - -SIR P. (_sits L., aside_) Now, what am I to do? Give her a chance, or -nail her to the counter? If I gave her a chance, would she take it? -Not she! She would appeal to her husband--he would believe her -implicitly and kick me out of the house--there would be an end of -_me_--and there would be an end of _him._ I must convict her--there's -no alternative. But how? If she plays any tricks to-night, I have her. -But if she doesn't? (_blows his nose_) She has _me!_ Well, the first -thing to be done is, to make things safe for the night. - -NOR. (_aside, rises and comes down a little_) I have it! Sir Peter -knows I'm poor--I'll tell him I have thoughts of marrying, but I must -marry money. I will inquire about Miss Derwent's circumstances--say, -I've heard a rumour. Then I shall find out all about this will. Sir -Peter will think I'm an awful cad, but what does it matter what Sir -Peter thinks? Upon my word, statesmanship _is_ hereditary, after all. -I feel a regular Machiavelli! (_crosses to SIR PETER, aloud_) Sir -Peter! May I have a word with you? (_R. of table_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) How long are you likely to be? - -NOR. Only a second. - -SIR P. That means half-an-hour. I limit my consultations to ten -minutes. - -NOR. Ten minutes, then. - -SIR P. Go on. - -_Re-enter KATE, R.C. from R., unobserved, stops short on seeing them._ - -NOR. (_sits on sofa_) It is about Miss Derwent. - -SIR P. Oh, Miss Derwent! (_SIR PETER rises, takes snuff-box on -mantel--and sits again L._) - -KATE. (_aside, smiling_) He's talking about me. I should like to know -what he thinks of me. It's a mean thing to do--but I'll do it--just -for fun. (_retires into conservatory, and crosses, going off L.U.E._) - -SIR P. Well, sir. - -NOR. You know Miss Derwent very well, I think? - -SIR P. Very well indeed--go on! (_leaning back_) - -NOR. She's all right, isn't she? - -SIR P. All right? (_starting forward_) - -NOR. I mean, there isn't a screw loose anywhere? - -SIR P. Screw loose? - -NOR. You know, I have some thoughts of marrying. - -SIR P. Her! - -NOR. Well, yes, of marrying _her._ - -SIR P. (_rises_) Then marry her, and don't bother me about it. - -NOR. But I'm as poor as a rat, and I can't afford---- - -SIR P. Then, _don't_ marry her. (_crosses R.C._) - -NOR. (_rises and follows SIR PETER_) But it has reached my ears, that -Selwyn's going to leave her everything. (_SIR PETER pricks up his -ears_) If that is really so, it would suit my book to a T; and I -thought you might know something about it. - -SIR P. Well, sir? - -NOR. And tell me. - -SIR P. In what capacity? As a physician? - -NOR. No--as a friend. - -SIR P. As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence? - -NOR. No--as _my_ friend. - -SIR P. But I am _not_ your friend. - -NOR. Well, as between two men of the world. Miss Derwent's an awfully -nice girl, but you know, one must look after the dibs. - -SIR P. Sir, I may be a man of the world, or I may not, but I do not -hold consultations in that capacity. Good evening. (_going R._) - -NOR. Sir Peter! One moment! (_following. Exit SIR PETER, followed by -NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. KATE staggers from conservatory, L.C., and drops -into sofa, the picture of desolation._) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. Stops short on seeing KATE._ - -NOR. (R.C.) There she is. (_stands looking at KATE_) - -KATE. (_giving her eyes a final wipe and rising, aside_) I don't care. -(_pockets handkerchief_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, you've been crying. Something's the -matter. - -KATE. Don't trouble about _me._ _I'm_ "all right." - -NOR. "All right?" (_aside_) Do sit down! - -KATE. Thanks, I prefer to stand. - -NOR. But I don't like you to stand. - -KATE. I'm sorry if my attitude is not sufficiently elegant to satisfy -your lordship's fastidious taste. - -NOR. Miss Derwent! - -KATE. But I was not born graceful. I don't think I was properly -finished off. Nature has left "a screw loose" somewhere. (_crosses -R._) - -NOR. (C.) "A screw loose?" (_nonplussed_) - -KATE. What perplexes your lordship? (_sits R. by piano_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, tell me--why did you ever want to -leave Ravenhurst? Don't think me impertinent. I have a reason for -asking. - -KATE. And I had a reason for leaving. - -NOR. Were you uncomfortable? - -KATE. Oh dear, no! Mr. Selwyn has always insisted on my being treated -with every consideration. - -NOR. Ah! Philip thinks a lot of _you,_ doesn't he? - -KATE. I think, he likes me. I don't know about "a lot." - -NOR. Perhaps you felt yourself in rather a false position? - -KATE. (_rises_) What do you mean? - -NOR. Nothing--I only meant--I don't know what I meant. - -KATE. Perhaps I thought, that I might _better_ my position. - -NOR. But if you were so comfortable---- - -KATE. Comfort isn't everything. Ravenhurst's an awfully nice place: -but--(_facing him_) "You know, one must look after the dibs." - -NOR. (_stands dumbfounded--pause_) Then, you heard my conversation -with Sir Peter? - -KATE. Every word of it. - -NOR. Well, it serves me right. (_goes down to C._) - -KATE. (_advances towards him_) And me as well--for listening--but I'm -glad I did. Now, I know what you are, and what you want. You are for -sale! Heart, soul, mind, body and estate--without reserve, and open to -all bidders. I am only a governess--I have no money to buy you, and I -don't _want_ to buy you! Knock yourself down to anyone you please! -What do _I_ care? (_a step or two away_) - -NOR. Hear me, one moment. I have been misled. (_follows_) - -KATE. (_turns sharply on him_) And so have I. I thought, at last, that -I had met a _man!_--A man whom I could love---- - -NOR. Miss Derwent! (_enraptured_) - -KATE. Whom I could honour--whom I could even obey! - -NOR. Kate! (_holds out his hands_) - -KATE. (_smacks his hands down and draws back up stage, R.C., a step; -during speech, she backs towards R.U.D._) Don't call me "Kate." It -wasn't _you._ It was another man altogether--a creature of my -fancy--whom I had met in dreams--but whom I loved--with such a love as -never entered into your sordid soul--for whom I would have died--for -whom I would have worked, toiled, slaved, from morning until -night--who possessed the whole heart of a woman who has never loved -before, but who has cast it from him and has broken it! (_at door; -exit, R.U.D._) - -NOR. My last appearance as Machiavelli! (_goes to L._) - -_Re-enter TOM moodily, R.C. from R._ - -TOM. (_comes down C._) I don't like the look of the pond. - -NOR. What pond? What are you talking about? - -TOM. Oh, by the bye, I haven't told you what we're going to do. - -NOR. Who's going to do? - -TOM. Why, me and Mildred. Drown ourselves. At least we _were_ going to -drown ourselves, until we saw the pond. Now, we are going to think of -something else. - -NOR. (_goes to TOM_) Look here, Tom! it's quite time little boys were -in bed. You'll have plenty of time to-morrow. - -TOM. Ah! You don't know what it is, to love--and get the key of the -street! - -NOR. Don't I? I've got it. - -TOM. _You've_ got it, Ned? - -NOR. Miss Derwent has just given it me. - -TOM. I say, let's drown one another! You go first! (_puts NORMANTOWER -across up towards R.U.D._) - -NOR. No, thank you, Tom. I'll go and make things up. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., lost in thought, he goes up a little, -R.C._ - -TOM. (_down C., turning--seeing SIR PETER_) Sir Peter--the very man--I -say, Sir Peter! (_turns up to SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. Aren't you a doctor? - -SIR P. I had the honour to belong to the medical profession before you -were born. - -TOM. A lot of things seem to have happened before I was born--and -everybody takes care to let me know it. - -SIR P. It is impossible to know too much. - -TOM. Then, tell me. What's the pleasantest way of committing suicide? - -SIR P. Hem! The question is scarcely usual. I regret to say, the -etiquette of my profession precludes me from replying. (_mock bow. -Goes up C._) - -TOM. Pompous old ass! I don't believe he knows. (_goes to L.C._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED, R.U.D., with an open book in her hand._ - -MIL. Tom, Tom! (_comes down R.C._) - -TOM. What's that you've got? - -MIL. "Kennedy on Poisons." (_reading from book. SIR PETER listens_) I -found it in Miss Derwent's dressing-room. - -TOM. Just what we wanted--let me have a look. - -SIR P. (_advancing_) Give me that book. (_between them. MILDRED draws -book away_) - -TOM. But it's not hers--it's---- - -SIR P. (_peremptorily_) Give that book to me. (_MILDRED gives it him_) -How dare you take this from Miss Derwent's dressing-room? - -MIL. (_begins to cry_) I didn't know that I was doing wrong. Mousey is -always at Miss Derwent's bookcase. - -TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn! Is it yours? (_facing -him boldly_) - -SIR P. By force of arms. - -TOM. Force is not argument. - -SIR P. (_in a voice of thunder_) Go away, boy, go! (_points R. TOM -collapses, crosses to MILDRED, and exit with MILDRED R.I.D. quickly_) - -SIR P. (sits on sofa) "Kennedy--Poisons"--(_opens fly-leaf_) "Kate -Derwent--from her friend, the Author--Guy's Hospital, 17th April, -1888." Kennedy's pet lamb! Gives it right and left, and not got -through the first edition yet. Nothing remarkable in that. But why -does it open at arsenic? "Mousey is always at Miss Derwent's -book-case." - -_Re-enter PRICE, R.I.D._ - -PRI. Mr. Learoyd, the chemist, is here, sir. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'll see him at once. (_PRICE is going. SIR PETER -goes to him_) Stop--give this key to your mistress, with my -compliments. (_gives PRICE the key_) You'll find her in her room. -(_crosses and exit R.I.D._) - -_PRICE crosses and knocks at door L. and withdraws to L.C. up stage. -Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle and -wine-glass in her hand._ - -BEA. What is it? - -PRI. Sir Peter told me to give you this, madam, with his compliments. -(_gives key and goes R. towards upper door_) - -BEA. (_aside_) The key! (_goes down L. Aloud_) Price! I am going to -bed. I shall not want Johnson. Put all the lights out, lock the outer -door of the conservatory, and make up the house. - -PRI. Yes, madam, but Sir Peter---- - -BEA. Do as I tell you. - -_Music in orchestra. BEATRICE has put medicine and glass on table, and -stands in front of table, deep in thought. PRICE puts out lamp on -piano, then the one in conservatory, lower lights, then disappears -R.U.E. A lock is heard to turn. Re-enter PRICE, R.C., he goes to -R.U.D._ - -PRI. Good-night, madam. - -BEA. Good-night. (_exit PRICE. BEATRICE crosses and locks R.U.D. Up -R.C., looking at key_) Then, he does not suspect me! When I found -Philip's door locked, I was half afraid. Why am I such a coward?--Is -he with Philip? (_exit L., music swells. Re-enter L._) No! Philip is -fast asleep. Can he be watching? (_goes down to R.I.D._) No! (_opens -door R., looks out, then shuts and locks it_) Good night, Sir Peter! -pleasant dreams to you! (_stands looking at the key_) He suspects -nothing. (_goes to L.C., R. of table. Produces medicine bottle and -glass and pours out a dose_) It is a great temptation! (_produces -phial from bosom_) Strange! how this fascinates me! With my life at -stake, I scarcely can resist it. It possesses me! But, I suppose, I -dare not. (_music dies away, knock at door R._) Who can that be? -(_second knock, aloud_) Who's there? - -SIR P. (_off_) It's I--Sir Peter Lund! (_she puts away the phial_) - -BEA. What an escape! (_unlocks the door and smiles sweetly_) Come in, -Sir Peter. (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., leaving door ajar and holding -the book behind his back_) I was just getting Philip's medicine. -(_goes to L., crossing behind sofa and table_) - -SIR P. (R.C.) So I see. (_aside_) It's all right. I'm in time--(_puts -book down on piano_) - -BEA. I scarcely expected to see you again to-night. Do you want -Philip? (_on knees, mending fire_) - -SIR P. No, Mrs. Selwyn, it is you I want. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. Me? - -SIR P. I have something of the greatest importance to tell you. First, -let me make sure that my patient cannot overhear us. (_goes towards -L.D., back of sofa_) - -BEA. (_rises_) He was asleep just now. (_goes up L. to door_) - -SIR P. But he may have awakened. - -BEA. Shall I see? - -SIR P. Thank you. (_she goes L. and exits. SIR PETER watches her off, -then goes to back of table and tastes the medicine in the glass, he -puts it down, turns quickly, back to door L. signals towards door R., -which he has left ajar; enter KATE, R.I.D._) Into there! (_pointing to -conservatory_) Quick! (_off R.C._) - -KATE. But what am I to do? Why have you brought me here? (_going up -R.C., SIR PETER L. of her_) - -SIR P. Keep your ears open, and you'll understand. (_exit KATE into -conservatory, R., KATE in conservatory upsets a pot_) That's her -confounded train. - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., comes down L. to L.C._ - -BEA. What was that noise? - -SIR P. (_at door of conservatory_) Ten thousand pardons: I've upset a -flowerpot. (_comes down to C._) - -BEA. You've been in the conservatory? - -SIR P. Yes--to make sure that nobody was listening. In a case like -this, one cannot be too careful. - -BEA. Sir Peter, you alarm me. What dreadful secret are you going to -tell me? (_goes to sofa_) - -SIR P. (_R. of her_) Mrs. Selwyn, you are a woman of strong nerves, -and you can bear a shock. - -BEA. I think so. - -SIR P. Well, I'm going to give you one--I've found it! - -BEA. What? - -SIR P. The serpent. - -BEA. The serpent? - -SIR P. Which Mr. Selwyn said did not exist, but the existence of which -I suspected from the first. - -BEA. A serpent in Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. And a remarkably fine specimen, it turns out to be. Your -husband is being poisoned. (_BEATRICE taken off her guard, reels, and -sinks on sofa_) I can quite understand your emotion. - -BEA. Poisoned? - -SIR P. By arsenic, administered in his medicine. - -BEA. But you put it there yourself. You told him, you were giving him -arsenic. - -SIR P. I was not. (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_) I did not -prescribe arsenic. - -BEA. Might not the chemist--by mistake---- - -SIR P. I've seen him, and he assures me there was no mistake. Besides, -though there was arsenic in the glass, there was _none in the bottle._ -While you were all having your dinner, I took the liberty of analysing -_that._ Mr. Selwyn is now in such a condition that the next dose may -be fatal. The first thing to be done is, to protect his life. I have -not left him since morning; but at the precise moment when the -criminal, whoever it is, will probably administer the poison, I shall -not be there to prevent it, because that moment will be when he takes -the final dose of physic which I have ordered him, just before going -to bed. - -BEA. And knowing this, you have ordered it? - -SIR P. With the object of detecting the culprit. Here I want your -assistance. We must lay our plans carefully; for whoever is doing -this, she is a very clever woman. - -BEA. (_rises_) Woman! Then, you suspect--(_bell ready_) - -SIR P. (_business_) Miss Derwent. (_BEATRICE starts_) What was that? -(_no noise heard_) - -BEA. (_astonished_) Miss _Derwent!_ - -SIR P. I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory. - -BEA. No one is there. The doors have been locked. - -SIR P. Someone may have opened them. Let us make sure. (_goes into the -conservatory R.C., disappears R., re-enters in a moment and comes down -to C._) - -BEA. Miss Derwent! (_down stage front of sofa_) - -SIR P. (_returning_) Only the flower pot--caught in a plant, which -must have given way. (_gets R. of sofa_) - -BEA. Well? You were saying---- - -SIR P. I suspect Miss Derwent--She has, as humanity goes, a powerful -incentive to this crime. On Mr. Selwyn's death, she expects to come -into a large fortune. - -BEA. Not until he has made a will in her favour. - -SIR P. He said he would make it to-day. She heard him say so, and she -knows that he has seen his solicitor. - -BEA. (_sits on sofa_) Yes, but my husband has been ill some weeks. -Miss Derwent had nothing to gain by his death until this will was -made. - -SIR P. (_sitting R. of her_) Therefore, she has not killed him. The -process has been admirably timed. She began to compass his death when -she had nothing to gain by it, and therefore was not open to -suspicion; and on the point of its consummation, adroitly threw -herself upon his generosity. You must admit the ingenuity of the -scheme. - -BEA. But the evidence? - -SIR P. That is where you must help me. It is incomplete. But it is -obvious enough, the criminal, whoever it is, is familiar with the -properties of arsenic, which are not so simple as is commonly -supposed. A bungler would have killed him long ago; but Miss Derwent -is half a doctor. She was at Guy's for years. She is a particular -friend of Dr. Kennedy's--and, strongest evidence of all, his book on -toxicology is here--(_rises, crosses to piano, takes book, and -recrosses to back of sofa, R. of it_) inscribed with her name--and has -evidently been considerably studied. (_gives book to BEATRICE_) -Especially, one chapter. - -BEA. Which is that? - -SIR P. Open it. - -BEA. "Arsenic"! - -SIR P. Look at the title page. - -BEA. "Kate Derwent--from her friend, the Author." - -SIR P. (_takes book again_) I submit that the case against her is one -of the gravest suspicion (_crosses to back of table, L. of it_) - -BEA. Then you accuse your friend and protegee. - -SIR P. Science has no friendships. _Someone_ is poisoning your -husband. I suspect Miss Derwent. (_KATE appears momentarily R.C._) -Accept my theory or reject it--(_raises his voice, to make sure KATE -can hear him_) _Watch that glass!_ If anybody touches it---- - -BEA. Who can, but me! When you have gone, and I have locked the door, -no one can get into this room to-night. Where is this poison coming -from? - -SIR P. Wherever it comes from, I know where it goes; into that glass. -Therefore, please, _watch the glass!_ If anybody tampers with it, ring -this bell. (_indicates bell pull, going towards it up R._) - -BEA. (_rises_) What, the alarm-bell? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. It will rouse the house. A miscreant will be brought to -justice, and your husband's life will be saved. (_comes down R.C._) - -BEA. If no one touches it? - -SIR P. He is safe for to-night, at any rate. Madam, I have the honour -to wish you a very good evening. (_exit, R.I.D._) - -_Music in orchestra._ - -BEA. (_locks door after him, and breaks into a low, hollow laugh_) -Thank you, Sir Peter! thank you very much! (_goes to C._) The case you -have begun, I will complete. Now, I can not only save myself, but -triumph! If I convict Miss Derwent of this crime, the will must be -abandoned. (_gets R. of table, KATE appears R.C., watching her_) It is -worth some risk! I can but fail: and if I do--(_produces phial, and -pours the contents into the medicine, laughing_) I'll make this strong -enough. There! Now to bring Miss Derwent. I will say Philip's dying, -and has asked to see her. Then I will rouse the house, and she shall -be found here--alone with this! (_goes to R.C._) Sir Peter will -corroborate me, Philip will be convinced, and my Lord Normantower--ha, -ha!--can marry her! Thank you, Sir Peter, thank you! (_unlocks door, -and exit, R.I.D._) - -KATE. Oh! (_in opening, R.C._) - -PHIL. (_off L._) Beatrice! - -KATE. My brother's voice--if I were found here now! - -PHIL. (_nearer_) Beatrice! - -(_KATE retreats out of sight, R._) - -_Enter PHILIP, L.D._ (_PHILIP goes down L. to L.C._) - -PHIL. Not here? Where can she be? (_watch_) Good gracious, I've been -asleep for nearly three hours. (_yawning_) Well, I suppose she won't -be very long; (_KATE appears again, watching PHILIP, who sits on -sofa_) Ah, there's the medicine! That last dose, which old Lund said -was so particular. I'd forgotten all about it. But Mousey hadn't. She -forgets nothing--nothing! (_rises_) Well, the sooner I take it, the -sooner it's over. (_about to drink_) - -KATE. (_rushing forward_) Philip! Stop! (_music stops_) - -PHIL. Kate? (_sets down the glass_) - -KATE. It's poison! (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Poison? - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R.I.D._ - -KATE. Yes! (_hysterically_) She is killing you! - -PHIL. (_confounded_) Who? - -KATE. Beatrice! (_PHILIP drops into sofa_) Your wife! (_sobs at his -feet. PHILIP sits as if stunned. BEATRICE stands, surveying them. -Pause. BEATRICE rings the alarm bell--KATE springs to her feet. -Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D. KATE goes up to C., PHILIP rises and goes -L. Lights worked up imperceptibly_) - -SIR P. Who rang the bell? (_crosses to R. of table_) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D._ - -BEA. _I_ rang! - -NOR. (R.C.) What is the matter? - -BEA. Sir Peter, you were right. This girl is poisoning my husband. -(_comes down to C._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! (_goes to fire, and leans on mantel_) - -KATE. Oh! - -SIR P. Let Mrs. Selwyn speak. (_calmly tests the medicine by finger -and gets to back to table, placing glass down there_) - -BEA. You asked me to watch, and I have watched. I found her hidden -here. My husband was about to drink this stuff---- - -PHIL. When she prevented me---- - -BEA. Because, of course, she heard my conversation with Sir Peter. -Knowing she was suspected, she has sought to cast this horrible -suspicion upon _me!_ - -KATE. Philip--I saw her! - -BEA. Since I poured out that draught, I have not touched it. - -KATE. Oh! (_retreating up L.C._) - -BEA. If it is poisoned--_she_ has poisoned it. - -SIR P. But when? Besides, you would have seen her--you were watching. -This was not poisoned, when I left the room. - -BEA. It _must_ have been! - -SIR P. I think not--and I tested it. (_advances to C., behind sofa_) - -BEA. I didn't see you. - -SIR P. No--I took care you shouldn't. (_pause_) - -BEA. You suspected _me!_ - -SIR P. From the beginning. - -BEA. This is a plot to ruin me! (_BEATRICE crosses to PHILIP who -disregards her. SIR PETER goes to R.C., L. of LORD NORMANTOWER_) -Philip, _you_ don't believe this hideous charge? (_PHILIP makes no -movement--she draws back, up L. to back of table, and stands at bay_) -What was Miss Derwent doing in the room? If she is innocent, why was -she _hiding_ here? - -SIR P. Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter. (_BEATRICE -confronts SIR PETER_) _I_ brought Miss Derwent here. (_going up to C., -KATE comes to him_) - -BEA. _You_ brought her--when? - -SIR P. When _you_ were in the other room, naturally. I took the -liberty of putting her into the conservatory, where, you will -remember, she had the misfortune to upset a flower-pot. - -BEA. I understand. You laid a trap for me? - -SIR P. I took that liberty. - -BEA. And you say, this is poisoned? - -SIR P. I should think, fatally. - -BEA. If I am guilty, why do I not get rid of it? You have given me -plenty of opportunity. - -SIR P. For a very excellent reason. Because you are quite clever -enough to know, that to do so would be an admission of your crime. - -BEA. I am not guilty, and this (_takes up glass_) is not poison. - -SIR P. Sorry I am to contradict you---- - -BEA. See! I will prove it! (_drinks the poison and throws glass down -behind her, it smashes. Movement from SIR PETER, NORMANTOWER and -PHILIP_) - -SIR P. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. You are too late, Sir Peter. (_goes up_) Now--good night to all -of you. (_curtseying. Exit L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) What was the object? (_crosses to C. As NORMANTOWER -crosses he holds out his hand to KATE, which she accepts, KATE being -L. of him, R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Normantower, Kate is my sister. The fortune which I have enjoyed -for years is hers, and I was anxious to restore it. The object was, to -prevent me. (_music in orchestra_) Oh, Kate, my heart is broken! -(_KATE goes to R. of PHILIP and kneels_) - -KATE. But time will heal it, Philip; for your heart is good; goodness -and happiness are not strangers long. - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, L.D._ - -PHIL. Only to think, this woman is my wife! - -SIR P. (_gently laying his hand on PHILIP'S shoulder_) But not for -long. And she is better dead! - -MUSIC FORTE. - -Moderate Curtain. - -_Time_ (_Act_) _forty-two minutes. Time for whole, including waits, -two hours, six minutes._ - - -Transcriber's Note - -This transcription is based on scanned images posted by Google from a -copy in the Harvard Library: - -nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.FIG:002663452 - -Note that the Google scans are included in a set of four Sydney Grundy -plays published by Samuel French posted under the title, _A Fool's -Paradise._ Based on how the Harvard Library catalogs the individual -copies, I assume Google combined the different scans into a single -document. _A Fool's Paradise_ is the first play in the set. - -French's Acting Editions from the nineteenth century tend to have -minor editorial inconsistencies and errors such as missing and -inverted letters, missing and incorrect punctuation marks, and -spelling errors. In addition, errors were introduced in the printing -process, depending on the condition and inking of the plates. Thus, -for example, it is at times difficult to determine whether a certain -letter is an "c," "e," or "o" or whether a certain punctuation mark is -a period or a comma. Where context made the choice obvious, the -obvious reading was given the benefit of the doubt without comment. - -The following changes were noted: - -- Throughout the text, all abbreviations in the stage directions for -stage position, entrances, and exits (e.g.,"R.I.D.") have been made -consistent so that there is no space between the letters. - -- Throughout the text, the convention of long dashes at the end of -lines has been made consistent. - -- p. 3: Tennis bat for KATE R.U.E.--For consistency, changed "KATE" to -"Kate". - -- p. 5: You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you.--Changed -period to a question mark. - -- p. 6: KATE Why aren't...--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 7: Even love matches are often unfortumate.--Changed -"unfortumate" to "unfortunate". - -- p. 7: Love has a habit of being so one-sided--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 7: ...a most able and distinguished man--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 9: ..._and waves his hand to TOM and MIL_)--Changed "MIL" to -"MILDRED" in stage direction. - -- p. 9: SIR. P. Drink too much.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 9: KATE. SIR Peter!--Changed "SIR" from small caps to initial -cap. - -- p. 9: SIRP. Of course you do.--Inserted space between "SIR" and "P". - -- p. 10: SIR P Any pain?--Inserted period after "SIR P". - -- p. 11: SIR P. So, altogether. you're quite a happy family?--Changed -what looked like a period after "altogether" to a comma. - -- p. 11: With more money than I know what to do wi h...--Changed -"wi h" to "with". - -- p. 11: The liv r was made, by a beautiful provision...--Changed -"liv r" to "liver". - -- p. 12: _Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. -from R._)--Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 12: (_they come down stage tonether..._--Changed "_tonether_" to -"_together_". - -- p. 12: ...and though circum tances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite ost...--Changed "circum tances" to -"circumstances" and "ost" to "lost". - -- p. 12: SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER. C._)--Changed period -after "NORMANTOWER" to comma. - -- p. 13: SIR P. (_picks up bunch from table, R._)--Changed "_bunch_" -to "_Punch_" based on the "Necessary Properties" list and on the stage -direction following the next line of dialogue which has Sir Peter -sitting and reading. - -- p. 15: ..._she has a tennis bat in her hand, and comes down C._)-- -Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 18: (_stoop- to give a back, NORMANTOWER down R. -laughs...._--Changed "_stoop-_" to "_stooping_". - -- p. 18: KATE (_nodding_) How d'ye do?--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 20: Nonsense I must see you...--Added period after "Nonsense". - -- p. 21: ...but consider the future Some day...--Added a period after -"future". - -- p. 21: No, I shall never marry--Added a period at end of line. - -- p. 22: You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_) Good, generous...--Inserted dash after closing -parenthesis, and changed "Good" to lower case. - -- p. 23: ACT II--Inserted a period at end of heading for consistency. - -- p. 23: ...remarkably tight inexpressibles--Added a period at end of -line. - -- p. 23: You under-rate your accomplishments. don't -think...--Inserted the word "_I_" before "don't". Use of italics was -based on spacing between words. - -- p. 24: _Kate turns up and resumes watering plants, R.C._--For -consistency in stage directions, changed "Kate" to small caps in html -version and all caps in text version. - -- p. 29: No--but I cannot grasp it?--Changed question mark to an -exclamation mark. - -- p. 31: ...bnt now I have awaken...--Changed "bnt" to "but". - -- p. 33: I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey--Added question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 33: I have your acquiesence?--Changed "acquiesence" to -"acquiescence". - -- p. 34: TOM. Are quite well enough to stand a shock?--Inserted "you" -after "Are". - -- p. 34: Yon won't come to blows?--Changed "Yon" to "You". - -- p. 35: _Exeunt JOHNSON and PHILIP R.U.D._--Added closing -parenthesis. - -- p. 36: _TOM has her L. hand., PHILIP her right..._--Deleted period -after "hand". - -- p. 36: SIR. P. Nobody here.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 36: ..._then smells it, smell it again, tastes again cautiously -by his finger..._--Changed "_smell_" to "_smells_". - -- p. 38: _BEATRICE'S fan on piano_--Added period after "_piano_". - -- p. 39: "_ad. lib._"--Deleted period after "_ad_". - -- p. 40: I am charmed with him--Added period at end of sentence. - -- p. 41: _PHILIP comes to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets -him_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 41: SIR P My dear young...--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: You've had a trying day--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 43: _PHILIP takes his R. arm, and they go up_)--Inserted a left -parenthesis before "PHILIP". - -- p. 43: SIR. P. By obeying me...--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 43: SIR P Just one more.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: (_behind sofa R. of it_)--Added a comma after "sofa". - -- p. 43: Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort.--Added "I" before "like". - -- p. 43: ...a bachelor can devote himself to the sex,--Changed comma -to a period. - -- p. 44: Don't mock me--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 44: Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation' which...--Deleted -single quote mark after "explanation". - -- p. 44: You contemplate being married--Added a question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 47: SIR. P. Oh, Miss Derwent!--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 47: ..._snuff--box_...--Changed dash to a hyphen. - -- p. 48: As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence--Added a -question mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 48: ..._drops into sofa, the picture of desolation._--Added a -closing parenthesis after "desolation." - -- p. 48: I'm "all right.'--Changed single closing quotation mark to -double closing quotation mark. - -- p. 49: Whom I could honor--whom I could even obey--Added an -exclamation mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 49: ...from morning nntil night...--Changed "nntil" to "until". - -- p. 50: Don t I? I've got it.--Added an apostrophe between "Don" and -"t". - -- p. 50: I'll go and make things up. _exit. R.U.D._)--Added left -parenthesis before "_exit_"; changed period after "_exit_" to a comma. - -- p. 50: (_turns up to_ Sir PETER)--Changed "Sir" from initial cap to -small caps in html and all caps in text version. - -- p. 51: TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn?--Changed -question mark to exclamation mark. - -- p. 51: _Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle -and wine-glass in her hand_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 52: (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D , leaving door ajar..._--Changed -space after "D" to a period. - -- p. 52: (_goes towards L D., back of sofa_)--Changed space after "L" -to a period. - -- p. 53: (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_--Added closing -parenthesis after "_fascinated_". - -- p. 53: I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory--Added a period -at end of sentence. - -- p. 53: (_goes into the conservatory R.C., disappears R. -re-enters..._--Inserted a comma after "R.". - -- p. 54: ...and on the point of it's consummation...--Changed "it's" -to "its". - -- p. 54: (_takes book gaain_)--Changed "gaain" to "again". - -- p. 54: I suspect Miss Derwent--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 55: (_indicates bell pull, going owards it up R._)--Changed -"_owards_" to "_towards_". - -- p. 55: _comes down R.C._)--Added a left parenthesis before -"_comes_". - -- p. 55: ...KATE appears R.C ,...--Changed space after "C" to a -period. - -- p. 55: (_PHIL goes down L. to L.C._)--Changed "PHIL" to "PHILIP". - -- p. 55: (_sets down the glass_--Added closing parenthesis after -"_glass_". - -- p. 56: _Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWE, R.I.D._--Changed "NORMANTOWE" to -"NORMANTOWER". - -- p. 56: BEA. _I_ rang?--Changed question mark to an exclamation mark. - -- p. 56: (_come down to C._)--Changed "_come_" to "_comes_". - -- p. 56: (_retreating up L C._)--Changed space after "L" to a period. - -- p. 56: _PHILIP makes no movement..._--Added a left parenthesis -before "PHILIP". - -- p. 57: If she is innocent, why was she hiding here--Added a question -mark at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter--Added a -period at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: (_going up to C , KATE comes to him_)--Changed space after -"C" to a period. - -- p. 57: SIR P I should think, fatally.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: SIR P For a very excellent reason.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: ...that to do so would be an admisson of...--Changed -"admisson" to "admission". - -The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the -printed text. However, some concessions have been made. For example, -on pages 25, 34, and 39 of the printed text a single curly bracket -around two or more lines is used to indicate simultaneous action or -dialogue. It is possible to reproduce this in html using tables, but -html tables may not transfer well to the Project Gutenberg files -generated from the html file. Thus, the use of html tables was -avoided. - -This play was inspired by the 1889 trial of Florence Maybrick, who was -convicted of poisoning her husband with arsenic. A brief description -can be found in William R. Cullen, _Is Arsenic an Aphrodisiac? The -Sociochemistry of an Element_ (Cambridge, U.K.: Royal Society of -Chemistry, 2008), pp. 179-180, 183-185. A preview of this book is -available through Google Scholar. See also Edgar Lustgarten, _Verdict -in Dispute_ (London: Allan Wingate, 1949), which is posted by the -Internet Archive at: - -archive.org/details/verdictindispute00lustuoft - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - -***** This file should be named 41647.txt or 41647.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/ - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/41647.zip b/41647.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index d7e8591..0000000 --- a/41647.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/41647-8.txt b/old/41647-8.txt deleted file mode 100644 index 3348496..0000000 --- a/old/41647-8.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4121 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: A Fool's Paradise - An Original Play in Three Acts - -Author: Sydney Grundy - -Release Date: December 18, 2012 [EBook #41647] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - - - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - - -AN ORIGINAL PLAY - -IN THREE ACTS. - -BY - -SYDNEY GRUNDY. -____________________________________________ - -_Copyright,_ 1898, _by Thomas Henry French._ -____________________________________________ - - -London: | New York: -SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. | T. HENRY FRENCH, -PUBLISHERS, | PUBLISHER, -89, STRAND. | 26, WEST 22nd STREET. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE - -_Produced at the Garrick Theatre on Saturday, -January 2nd, 1892._ - - CHARACTERS. - -Lord Normantower MR. F. KERR. -Sir Peter Lund, Bart., M.D., F.R.S. MR. JOHN HARE. -Philip Selwyn MR. H. B. IRVING. -Hon. Tom Verinder MR. GILBERT HARE. -Price MR. S. B. BRERETON. -Kate Derwent MISS KATE RORKE. -Beatrice Selwyn MISS OLGA NETHERSOLE. -Mildred Selwyn MISS BEATRICE FERRAR. -Johnson MISS MINNA BLAKISTON. -______________________________ - -ACT I.--THE HALL, AT RAVENHURST, -_Philip Selwyn's Country House, near St. Alban's, Herts._ - -_A Week Elapses._ - -ACT II.--THE BOUDOIR. -_Morning._ - -ACT III.--THE BOUDOIR -_Night._ - - -NECESSARY PROPERTIES. - -ACT I.--On R. table: China Bowl, books in case, newspapers, photo -views, three letters and newspaper through post. Book on sofa. -_Ready:_ Tennis ball to throw on from between C. doors and R.W. Tennis -bat for Kate R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Basket of cut flowers for Kate. -Work bag containing balls of wool and needles, and an apple, for -Mildred. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - -ACT II.--Water bottle and glass, magazine, and Punch, on L. table. -Fire lighted. The hearth should be a solid sheet of slate for glass to -break easily. Bell rope on flat, R. of opening R.C., bell pull on flat -L., below fire-place. _Ready:_ Medicine bottle and glass, L.D. _Hand -Properties:_ Water can (no water) for Kate. Two certificates of -marriage, and one of death for Sir Peter. Cigarettes in case for -Normantower. - -ACT III.--Clear chair from back of table, and water bottle. Lighted -lamp on piano. Ditto on pedestal in conservatory L.C. Small ditto on -table, L.C. _Ready_ R.U.D.: Six cups of coffee on salver, sugar and -milk on small salver. _Ready_ L.D.: Medicine bottle, wine glass and -poison phial. Flower pot to smash on stone, R.U.E. Alarm bell to ring -R.U.E. Large lock to work, R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Book for Sir -Peter. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - -ACT I. - -SCENE.--_The Hall of an old-fashioned Country House with staircase. -Door C. Entrance, L. Door, R. Windows at back, looking into grounds. -Letters on table. Gong._ - -_TOM and MILDRED discovered together. MILDRED on sofa, L.C., TOM on -foot-stool at her feet R. of her. She has some work in her hand, and a -ball of wool in a satchel. [Note for TOM.--Before curtain rises, tie -wool to button on waistcoat, and see the wool is free to "payout" for -business.]_ - -TOM. Come, Mildred dear, say "Yes." - -MIL. But I can't say "Yes." - -TOM. You might help a fellow a bit. I never proposed to anybody -before, and I daresay I've done it very badly---- - -MIL. No, Tom, you've done it very well. - -TOM. (_rises and sits beside her, arm round her waist_) Say "Yes," -then. Of course, I'm not good enough for a girl like you. But I may be -some day. My brother Ned's a confirmed bachelor, and it's just on the -cards I may be the next Earl of Normantower. - -MIL. Yes, Tom, that's just it. I'm not fit to be a Countess. - -TOM. Not fit to be a Countess? Why, some of 'em are awful. - -MIL. My brother wouldn't hear of it, I'm sure. - -TOM. Well, then, you shan't be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor's -always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan't -come in for the title. You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would -you? - -MIL. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn't. - -TOM. (_half embracing her_) Say "Yes," then. - -MIL. Someone's coming! (_TOM runs to opposite side of the stage and -sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table_) - -_Enter KATE DERWENT from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of -flowers._ - -KATE. Well, children! (_comes down, puts basket of flowers on back of -table, R.C., and goes down to C._) - -TOM. (_aside_) Children! - -KATE. Why aren't you out of doors this beautiful morning? - -MIL. Oh, I wanted to finish this slipper. - -KATE. (_catching sight of the thread of wool, the end of which has got -entangled on TOM'S button and which stretches across the stage, -connecting the two_) Really? And you, Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. I? I was reading Hiawatha. - -KATE. You don't say so! (_picking up the thread and drawing them -together_) Now, how dare you tell me such stories? (_breaks the -thread, throws it to MILDRED, crosses TOM to R. of table and fills a -vase with flowers from her basket_) - -TOM. It's no use trying to deceive you, Miss Derwent. I've been making -love to Mildred. - -KATE. Making love at ten o'clock in the morning? I'm ashamed of you. -It's almost as bad as playing cards by daylight. - -TOM. (C.) I want her to marry me and she won't! She says my family's -too good for her--as if anything could be too good for Mildred! I'm -sure the Verinders are poor enough. As for me, she forgets my father -was cut off with a shilling, and blew'd the lot? - -KATE. (R.C.) Blew'd the lot. - -MIL. Tom means, his father spent it. (_C.L. of TOM_) - -KATE. Spent the shilling? - -TOM. Every penny of it. Oh, we're a reckless lot, we Verinders! - -_PHILIP SELWYN enters C. from L., he places his stick in stand L. of -C. door, hat on small table up R.C., and goes slowly down to -fire-place, R._ - -MIL. And why was he cut off with the shilling? - -TOM. Because he married the girl he wanted; instead of a girl he -didn't want; and his son's going to do the same. (_placing his arm -round her and taking her down to L.C._) - -KATE. Ah, Mr. Verinder! Marriage is a serious responsibility. (_goes -to C., basket in hand_) - -TOM. It's serious when you marry the wrong person, but I'm going to -marry the right one. - -KATE. Yes, but who is the right one? - -PHIL. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (_sits, opening -letters, in arm-chair R. of table_) - -TOM. (_advances to C._) _You_ think so, Mr. Selwyn? (_turns to -MILDRED, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and -finds an apple which he eats_) - -KATE. (_sits R.C._) Because you have been fortunate in your choice, -but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often -unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. (_filling a bowl -on table, with flowers_) - -PHIL. I haven't found it so! and mine was a love match, if ever there -was one. I met my wife quite casually at Brighton--fell in love, -proposed, was accepted and married, all within a month. - -KATE. You married in haste. - -PHIL. And by all the laws of cynical philosophy, I ought to have -repented at leisure. (_BEATRICE SELWYN enters, L. down staircase -unobserved, and crosses slowly to back of table R.C._) But I haven't -repented. To the confusion of the philosophers, I'm the happiest -husband and have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. (_turns to KATE, his mouth full of apple_) There, Miss Derwent! -What do you say to that? (_turns to MILDRED_) - -KATE. That is one side of the picture, but I've seen the other. My -mother also married for love. - -PHIL. And what was the consequence? - -KATE. That her daughter will never marry. - -BEA. (_softly_) Don't say that, Miss Derwent. (_all start slightly, -KATE rises, and sits again almost immediately, still filling bowl with -flowers_) You are always severe on the gentlemen, but don't be so hard -on them as that. - -PHIL. Good gracious, Mousey, how you startled me! Your footsteps are -so fairy-like, one never knows where you are. - -BEA. Moral: never tell secrets to Miss Derwent, when you think I'm not -listening. - -PHIL. My dear, it's no secret that I have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. Everybody thinks that, Mrs. Selwyn. (_going up C. towards her_) - -BEA. (_goes to TOM, C._) Not everybody. To wit--Sir Peter Lund. - -MIL. Oh, what does it matter what that grumpy old bear thinks? (_goes -to L. of sofa, and round behind it_) - -BEA. (_crosses TOM to sofa, L.C., picks up a book and sits almost -reclining, her back to PHIL. and KATE. TOM goes up C. and remains in -doorway_) My dear Mildred, Sir Peter Lund is a most able and -distinguished man. Having made his fortune as a fashionable physician, -he has almost retired from the active pursuit of his profession to -devote himself to his innumerable appointments, and to the -transactions of all sorts of royal and learned societies, where the -clearing of his erudite throat is the signal of the most reverential -attention. (_TOM signals to MILDRED who joins him up C._) - -KATE. And well it may be. - -BEA. Forgive me, I quite forgot he was a friend of yours. - -PHIL. And mine as well, my dear. When Sir Peter was an ordinary family -practitioner, he brought both Mildred and myself into the world, he -attended my father in his last illness, and in spite of the multitude -of his engagements, he is good enough to take an interest in us still. -What could be kinder than his voluntary proposal to run down here and -see me, simply because he had heard casually that I was rather out of -sorts? - -KATE. Sir Peter is coming here? - -PHIL. I expect him this morning. - -BEA. I can only wonder that in "the multitude of his engagements" he -can find the leisure. - -PHIL. Sir Peter is one of those wonderful men, who get through the -work of a dozen, yet never seem to have anything to do. - -KATE. (_rises_) Who can always find time for an act of kindness, and -are never too busy to remember an old friend. (_goes up and puts -basket on table at back R.C., and joins TOM and MILDRED._) - -BEA. Well, I will make him as comfortable as I can. - -PHIL. I know you will, and the more you see of him the more you will -like him. (_opening another letter_) Hallo! Tom, a letter from your -brother. - -TOM. Ned! (_comes down L. of table, MILDRED L. of TOM._) - -PHIL. "A thousand thanks, old man, for your kind invitation to stay -with you while Normantower is being prepared for the reception of my -august person! How glad I shall be to shake hands with you once more! -Expect me when you see me. Yours as always, Ned. P.S.--Fancy you -putting up my cub of a brother! Surely the stables were good enough -for him." - -MIL. Well, I declare! - -TOM. Ned always talks like that; but he's a very good brother to me, -and always down with the dust, when he's any dust to down with. -(_takes her up C. rejoining KATE_) - -BEA. (_rises, crosses to L. of table, puts book in case on table, and -then gets back of table, L. of PHILIP_) You see, Phil, Lord -Normantower is quite grateful for your invitation. - -PHIL. It was a happy thought of yours to suggest it; but when aren't -your thoughts happy? They are always of others. (_BEATRICE kisses -him._) - -_Enter PRICE, L.D._ - -PRI. Sir Peter Lund. (_BEATRICE comes down C. KATE down R.C. corner of -table, TOM and MILDRED behind arm-chair R._) - -_Enter SIR PETER LUND. He comes to L.C._ - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to SIR PETER, taking his hand_) Welcome to -Ravenhurst! I scarcely expected you so soon. You must have risen early -this morning. (_exit PRICE with SIR PETER'S hat and stick L.D._) - -SIR P. Always get up at five. (_crosses to BEATRICE_) How are you? -(_shakes hands with BEATRICE_) How d'ye do? (_crosses BEATRICE to -KATE, and waves his hand to TOM and MILDRED_) How are you, boy? - -BEA. Always get up at five? (_L. of SIR PETER_) - -PHIL. And never goes to bed before two. It's a marvel to me how you do -it! (_front of sofa_) - -SIR PETER. (_crosses to PHIL._) It's a marvel to me how you don't do -it. That's why you are out of sorts. You eat too much. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Drink too much. - -BEA. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Sleep too much. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. (_turning on the ladies_) So do you! - -BEA. (_turning to KATE_) Oh! (_TOM and MILDRED steal off into the -grounds, C. to R._) - -SIR P. Of course you do. Everybody does. (_watch_) What time's the -next up train? - -PHIL. You're not thinking of going already? - -SIR P. Certainly not. Not going for ten minutes. - -BEA. Surely you'll stay to lunch? - -SIR P. Lunch, what d'you want with lunch? If you've an appetite for -dinner, thank heaven for it, and don't go and spoil it with lunch. - -BEA. Do you ever eat? - -SIR P. Eat? Like a cormorant. - -PHIL. Drink? - -SIR P. Like a fish. (_PHILIP reclines on sofa, R. of it_) - -KATE. Sleep? - -SIR P. Like a humming-top! - -BEA. But you say, you oughtn't. - -SIR P. Well? Do you never do what you oughtn't! I do. (_turns up to -head of sofa and surveys PHILIP through pince-nez_) - -BEA. Since Sir Peter is so pressed for time---- - -SIR P. Pressed for time? Not at all. (_getting behind sofa still -looking at PHILIP_) - -BEA. I understood you---- - -SIR P. You misunderstood me. - -BEA. At any rate we'd better leave you with your patient. Come, Miss -Derwent--(_bows--SIR PETER bows. Exit with KATE into grounds, C. to -R._) (_SIR PETER turns up stage and watches them off, then comes down, -moves chair R. of sofa towards PHILIP, and sits_) - -SIR P. Well, what's the matter with you? - -PHIL. Really, Sir Peter! That's what I want you to tell me. - -SIR P. You have a high opinion of the medical profession. Do you -suppose we can tell you anything, if you don't tell us first? - -PHIL. I have always supposed so. - -SIR P. Error, sir. You tell us everything we tell you. The only -difference is, you tell us in English, and we tell you in Latin. You -take a fee out of your pocket; we put one in ours. - -PHIL. Well, doctor, I can't tell you what's the matter with me. I -should very much like to know. - -SIR P. Why! What has it to do with _you?_ - -PHIL. (_smiling_) A great deal unhappily. - -SIR P. Vulgar fallacy. A patient's complaint concerns nobody but his -doctor. (_feels pulse--watch in hand_) - -PHIL. I have no energy. I don't take my usual interest in what goes on -around me. One day I'm restless--another, lethargic. There's nothing -particular the matter with me, but I seem to have no pleasure in -existence; and instead of getting better, I get worse. - -SIR P. (_shuts watch_) Happy at home? (_after feeling his hand_) - -PHIL. Perfectly. - -SIR P. How has your marriage answered? - -PHIL. My wife is simply a treasure. - -SIR P. (_dryly_) Oh! Any money difficulties? - -PHIL. None. My father left me beyond reach of any trouble of that -sort. - -SIR P. Any pain? (_feeling his chest_) - -PHIL. No. - -SIR P. I see, Miss Derwent is still with you. - -PHIL. And I hope, will remain. Beatrice wouldn't be without her for -the world, and I think Mildred almost worships her. I can't -sufficiently thank you for the introduction. - -SIR P. How's your appetite? - -PHIL. It varies. - -SIR P. I thought Miss Derwent would suit you. I picked her up at -Guy's. She was a nurse there. Something about her struck me. Has it -struck you? - -PHIL. What? - -SIR P. Her likeness to your father. - -PHIL. Well, now you mention it, there is a likeness. - -SIR P. Sleep pretty well? - -PHIL. Too well. I'm always drowsy. - -SIR P. So, altogether, you're quite a happy family? - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. With more money than I know what to do with, heir -to a name that is honoured wherever it is known, the husband of the -dearest wife in the world, I sometimes think I am the happiest man on -earth. - -SIR P. Humph. - -PHIL. You smile. - -SIR P. I seem to have dropped into a little paradise. - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. - -SIR P. Where's the serpent? - -PHIL. The serpent? - -SIR P. There was a serpent even in paradise. - -PHIL. There's none in mine. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'm sorry to hear it. (_crosses to C._) There is only -one sort of paradise in which there is no serpent. - -PHIL. What sort do you mean? - -SIR P. (C.) A fool's. (_takes snuff and goes to hearthrug, R., back to -fire-place_) - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to R.C. and sits L. of table_) You are plain -spoken, Sir Peter. Now tell me with equal candour what is the matter -with me. Perhaps that is the serpent. - -SIR P. Shall I tell you the truth? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. I don't know. - -PHIL. Surely, with your experience---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no experience. - -PHIL. Well, with your knowledge---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no knowledge. Knowledge is the monopoly of -extremely young practitioners. I have been doctoring for forty years; -and now, I stand here on your hearthrug, sir, a monument of triumphant -ignorance. - -PHIL. Nonsense, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. Sense, sir, sense. - -PHIL. Be candid and tell me frankly what is wrong with me. - -SIR P. Your liver, probably. - -PHIL. Only my liver? - -SIR P. (_advances to table_) Don't speak disparagingly of your liver, -sir. That eminently respectable organ has been much misunderstood. It -is commonly supposed to serve certain functional purposes in the -physical economy. Another fallacy! The liver was made, by a beautiful -provision of nature, for the benefit of the medical profession. (_sits -in arm-chair, R._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. from R._ - -MIL. Phil, here's Lord Normantower. (_MILDRED runs on to back of -table, followed by TOM, who gets R. of sofa, and sits on arm of it. -SIR PETER rises and goes down two steps, R._) - -PHIL. Ned! (_rises and turns up to meet LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -TOM. He's so brown, and he's grown such a beard! - -NOR. (_up C._) Well, Phil, old man, how are you? - -PHIL. (_they come down stage together, C., PHILIP on R. of LORD -NORMANTOWER, MILDRED crosses behind them to back of sofa, L. of TOM_) -My dear Ned! I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. Sir Peter -Lund--Lord Normantower. How kind of you to come and stop with us! How -pleasant it will be to chat over old times! But first of all, let me -congratulate you on your new dignity. - -NOR. Dignity? My dear Phil, I have no dignity. I am a born Bohemian, -and the idea of me dropping in for a peerage strikes me as so -ludicrous, I've done nothing but laugh ever since I became a -hereditary legislator. (_laughs_) - -TOM. Ha, ha, ha! - -NOR. (_suddenly serious_) What's the matter with you? - -TOM. Fancy Ned a legislator! - -NOR. Even Tom sees the joke. (_throws hat to TOM_) - -_TOM, suddenly serious, turns up to be consoled by MILDRED; exeunt, C. -to R.; TOM hanging LORD NORMANTOWER'S hat on stick in stand._ - -PHIL. Lord Normantower and I were at Oxford together. We became great -friends; and though circumstances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite lost sight of one another. - -NOR. I haven't the pleasure of knowing Sir Peter myself, but I believe -other members of my family have had that privilege. - -SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER, C._) Sir, I had the honour of -attending the last three Earls of Normantower. Your uncle--gout; your -cousin Richard--lungs; your cousin John--delirium--humph--delirium! -(_PHILIP drops down, R.C._) - -NOR. (_throws gloves on table, L.C._) That branch of the family -disposed of, the peerage devolved on me as the eldest son of my poor -father--the only Verinder who never enjoyed the title, and the only -one who deserved it. - -SIR P. (_shaking him by the hand_) I quite agree with you. (_turns up -C._) - -PHIL. Let us hope his son will be worthy of him. - -NOR. (_sits in chair R. of sofa_) Ah, well, I'll do my best; but ten -thousand a year, paid quarterly in advance, would have suited Ned -Verinder's book better than an empty honour without a shilling to -support it. - -PHIL. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER_) Well, there's one consolation. -If it's a difficult matter for a peer to make money, it's very easy -for him to marry it. (_SIR PETER comes down to fire-place, R._) - -NOR. Marry? Not me! No! I was born a bachelor, and am not going to fly -in the face of Providence. - -PHIL. You don't believe in marriage? - -NOR. Of course there are exceptions; and I hope from the bottom of my -heart, yours is one of them. I haven't seen your wife yet, you know. - -PHIL. I've married a most charming woman, Ned--haven't I, Sir Peter? -(_going to L. of table, R.C._) - -SIR P. (_picks up Punch from table, R._) Sir--your wife is my hostess, -and one's hostess is always charming. (_bows and turns off--sitting -R., reading_) - -NOR. A charming woman? You arouse painful memories. I once knew a -charming woman. To be quite frank, I was engaged to one. - -PHIL. (_goes to LORD NORMANTOWER_) You have been engaged to be -married! I never heard of it. - -NOR. No, I kept it quiet. So did she. (_BEATRICE enters, C., from R., -pausing to look in at window, R.C., and comes down behind chair, -R.C._) At the time, there was not the remotest likelihood of my ever -succeeding to the title, and of course I was hard up. I always was. A -gilded calf appeared upon the scene; and the charming woman wrote me a -charming letter, protesting eternal fidelity, and announcing her -approaching marriage. - -PHIL. To the calf? - -NOR. To the gilt. - -PHIL. You had a lucky escape. - -NOR. Luckier than I thought: for I discovered afterwards that the -charming creature was a regular adventuress--a garrison hack--a -boarding-house belle--the sole support of an aged father--a venerable -old gentleman, with the manners of a patriarch and the morals of a -welsher! She was a charming woman, for all that. - -PHIL. I congratulate you on your escape. But who was the unfortunate -calf? - -NOR. I never took the trouble to inquire. - -BEA. (_advancing--all start slightly as before_) And the charming -creature? Pray, who was she? (_C.R. of PHILIP_) - -NOR. (_rises_) Miss Challoner! - -PHIL. (_proudly--introducing BEATRICE_) My wife. (_NORMANTOWER bows_) -You know one another. - -BEA. (_with perfect self-possession_) I believe, now that I see Lord -Normantower, I once had the pleasure of meeting him. (_crosses to -NORMANTOWER_) Let me see--where was it? - -NOR. It sounds ungallant to say so, but I really forget for the -moment. - -BEA. Well, never mind that now. Tell us who was the lady who used you -so shamefully. I am dying to know. (_looking him straight in the -face_) - -NOR. You must excuse me. Though I am ungallant enough to forget where -I met Mrs. Selwyn, I am not so unchivalrous as to betray a lady's -secret. (_moves away to L.C. in front of sofa_) - -BEA. (_goes to PHILIP, R.C._) Phil, dear, your friend is quite a hero -of romance. If you have any more such friends, please lose no time in -introducing them. - -PHIL. My love, don't make me jealous. (_BEATRICE goes to NORMANTOWER. -PHILIP turns and speaks to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_giving her hand frankly to NORMANTOWER_) Thank you, Lord -Normantower. - -NOR. (_taking her hand, rather disconcerted_) For what, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. For your loyalty--to my sex. (_turns off up stage to back of -table, calling SIR PETER, who rises and joins her. She shows him a -book, which she takes from table_) - -PHIL. (_crosses to NORMANTOWER, takes his arm, and draws him back to -sofa_) You've had a narrow escape, evidently; but don't make the -mistake of letting the unworthiness of one woman blind you to the -merits of the rest. Believe me, there is no happiness like that of -married love. (_sits on sofa. SIR PETER is looking at book; BEATRICE -listening to conversation_) - -NOR. (_sits L. of PHILIP_) Love! there is no such thing. We think we -are in love, but we aren't. What is called love is an affliction of -the brain, not an affection of the heart. Luckily, we soon get over -it. - -BEA. Men may--but women, never. Do they, Sir Peter? - -SIR P. I never offer an opinion on matters I don't -understand--(_lifting his forefinger_)--unless, mark, they are -strictly medical. Love has no place in the British pharmacopæa. (_goes -down R. of table, BEATRICE L. of it. She shows him some photographic -views_) - -PHIL. Yet it exists. I have even known cases of love at sight. - -NOR. Love at sight! Now you're going too far for anything. I can -imagine an enthusiast believing even in love, but love at sight! -(_rises_) No, my dear Phil, that's too ridicu---- (_a tennis ball -comes flying in from the grounds, rolling down to L. corner; -NORMANTOWER picks it up and gets L.C._) - -_KATE runs in after the ball, C. from R., she has a tennis bat in her -hand, and comes down C._ - -KATE. (_speaking off, as she enters_) Stay where you are! I'll get it -for you, children! (_stops_) Has anybody seen---- Oh! there it is! -(_seeing it in NORMANTOWER'S hand_) - -NOR. Allow me---- (_goes to C. and gives it to KATE_) - -KATE. Thank you, very much. (_running out_) Here you are! Catch! -(_throwing ball off R. Exit KATE; NORMANTOWER turns up C., and stands -gazing after her; pause. PHILIP rises and goes L._) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) Who is that lady? (_comes down C. to sofa_) - -PHIL. (L.) That's Miss Derwent. - -NOR. And who is Miss Derwent? - -BEA. (R.C.) Only a companion. (_coldly_) - -PHIL. You'll be delighted with her, when you know her, as of course -you will, if you stay with us for a week or two. - -NOR. I'll stop for a month. (_sits on sofa_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) Well, my ten minutes are up. (_crosses to C._) Before -I go I'd like to see you alone. (_to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_turns up L. behind sofa_) Come to my room. (_to NORMANTOWER, -over back of sofa_) We shan't be very long. Meanwhile, I leave you in -good company. (_goes to foot of stairs L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_goes up C. to SIR PETER_) Good-bye, Sir Peter--if I don't see -you again. - -SIR P. You will see me again. I'll stay to lunch after all. (_follows -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_going upstairs_) That's right, doctor. Give yourself a holiday -for once. (_exit L._) - -BEA. (_following SIR PETER to foot of stairs_) But your patients? What -will they do without you? (_smiling sweetly_) - -SIR P. (_on stairs_) What will they do? Recover. (_exit L._) - -_BEATRICE stands at the foot of the stairs, watching them off. -NORMANTOWER is sitting with his back to staircase. He rises and -crosses thoughtfully to R.C. corner of table. BEATRICE advances and -stands looking at him._ - -NOR. Are they gone? - -BEA. (C.) Yes. Oh, Ned, can you ever forgive me? (_L. of NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Forgive you? I forgave you long ago. Indeed I am grateful to you -for teaching me a lesson which I shall never forget. - -BEA. You are cruel; but I suppose I deserve it. (_on a line with -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. My grievance is a thing of the past. I have no wish to injure you -or to cause you pain, and I should not have expressed myself so freely -just now, had I known that you were present or that I was speaking of -the wife of a friend. (_a step down_) - -BEA. You have been misinformed. There is not a word of truth in what -you have heard about me. - -NOR. No doubt. People exaggerate so. (_standing below her_) - -BEA. They invent so. - -NOR. They invent so. - -BEA. And you have believed them! What must you think of me? (_moves -away a little_) - -NOR. To be perfectly frank, Mrs. Selwyn, I endeavour not to think of -you at all. (_goes to fireplace R._) - -BEA. (_goes up to L. of table_) You have forgotten me? You have -stripped me from your mind? - -NOR. I have done my best to forget you. (_leans on mantel, his back to -her_) - -BEA. (_moving away_) And this is constancy! (_down to L._) - -NOR. (_faces round_) Constancy! I am not more punctilious than most -men, but surely it is scarcely my duty to be constant to a woman who -has become the wife of another. (_advances to R.C._) - -BEA. (_goes up to C._) Ah! it is easy to talk of one's duty but it is -not always so easy to do it. (_NORMANTOWER looks at her_) Ned--may I -call you so? Let me tell you the secret of my life. - -NOR. You have a secret? (_comes to her C._) - -BEA. Yes--_I_ was always constant. I was forced into this marriage. -The letter I wrote breaking off our engagement was dictated to me. I -never loved my husband. (_turns away to L.C._) - -NOR. (C.) Mrs. Selwyn, you forget, your husband is my friend. If you -didn't know it when he asked me here, you know it now. - -BEA. (_turns to him_) I always knew it. It was I who suggested the -invitation. I could bear my unhappiness no longer. I felt I must see -you again. Oh, if you could only look into my heart! Ned! Though I -used you badly, you are bitterly avenged! (_drops into sofa L.C., and -buries her face in her hands_) - -NOR. (_goes up to head of sofa, looking down on her_) I have no wish -to be avenged. I loved you--I lost you--and there is an end of it. -(_turns up C._) - -BEA. (_rising_) Why was I born a woman? (_crosses to R.C. corner of -table_) Why was I not a man? To amuse myself just for the moment, and -then to be able to forget! - -NOR. (_comes down behind chair R.C._) You do us an injustice. We men -are not so inconstant as you think. Sometimes we pretend to forget -what we are half ashamed to remember. (_BEATRICE listens intently, -watching him out of the corner of her eyes_) But the past is past. You -are a wife now. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. If I were not a wife? - -NOR. Then, it would be different. - -BEA. (_close to him_) Hush! I have said, I do not love my husband; and -if you say that, you will make me hate him. To think that he--and he -alone--stands between me and happiness. - -NOR. Beatrice! (_recoiling_) - -BEA. Don't shrink from me! Is it so wicked to want to be happy? -(_touching him_) - -NOR. Happy? - -BEA. If I were only free! (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. (C.) You forget, though I have dropped in for a title, I am -almost as poor as ever. - -BEA. (_goes up to him_) But I am not. (_laying her hand on his arm_) -Philip has left me everything if I survive him. - -_SIR PETER appears at the top of the staircase; she turns off -suddenly, crossing NORMANTOWER, who goes down to R.C._ - -BEA. (_goes towards foot of stairs_) Well, doctor, how do you find -your patient? (_up C._) - -SIR P. (_up L.C._) Your husband is more seriously ill than I -anticipated. (_she glances at NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Ill! - -BEA. What is the matter with him? - -SIR P. (_R. of chair, L.C._) Something occult--that's why I call it -serious. There is nothing so serious as the unknown. (_NORMANTOWER -turns up R. and looks out at window_) - -BEA. Something _you_ can't make out? It must be occult indeed. - -SIR P. (_goes to front of sofa L.C._) But something I _hope_ to make -out before I go. - -BEA. Then you propose to stay here? (_disconcerted_) - -SIR P. With your permission--for to-night, at any rate. - -BEA. I'll have a room prepared for you at once. (_about to go L.U.E., -returns C. and works to R.C._) - -SIR P. Don't trouble. The orders are already given. I've taken the -liberty of choosing my own quarters. They open on the terrace, so I -can take the air in the morning without disturbing the household. -(_sits on sofa_) - -_Re-enter C. from. R., KATE DERWENT from grounds, TOM and MILDRED -running up with her to the doors C. NORMANTOWER goes slowly down to R. -corner._ - -KATE. That'll do, children, I'm quite out of breath. (_comes down C. -TOM and MILDRED run off into grounds L._) - -BEA. I am afraid the children give you no rest, Miss Derwent. (_R.C., -L. of table_) - -KATE. Oh, I don't mind. I like it. I was a dreadful tomboy myself, -when I was their age. I haven't forgotten how to play leap-frog yet. - -BEA. Your memory is really wonderful. - -KATE. And I believe I could give as good a back--(_stooping to give a -back, NORMANTOWER down R. laughs. Catching sight of NORMANTOWER, puts -her hand to her mouth and stops short_) - -BEA. (_obliged to introduce them_) Lord Normantower--Miss Derwent. -(_he bows_) - -KATE. (_nodding_) How d'ye do? (_turns and speaks to SIR PETER_). - -BEA. (_turns to NORMANTOWER, R._) You have not been here -lately--Philip has made such improvements! You'll scarcely know the -old place again. May I have the pleasure of showing it you? - -NOR. I shall be delighted. (_BEATRICE turns up a few steps C., -NORMANTOWER crosses to KATE, C._) Perhaps Miss Derwent will come with -us. (_BEATRICE bites her lips_) - -SIR P. (_rising_) Miss Derwent will stop here. (_BEATRICE smiles -maliciously_) I want to speak to her. - -KATE. You, doctor? (_SIR PETER goes L. and round behind sofa to C. as -BEATRICE and NORMANTOWER exit_) - -NOR. (_reluctantly_) Good-bye then, for the present. - -KATE. Au revoir! (_goes to L.C., NORMANTOWER is "struck," and suddenly -remembering turns. Exeunt LORD NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE into grounds -C. to R._) - -SIR P. (_SIR PETER after watching them off, comes down R. of sofa and -points_) Sit down. - -KATE. Don't order me about in that way, doctor. We're not in the -hospital now. - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sits, in burlesque obedience. He sits_) First -let me deliver my messages. The entire medical staff at Guy's send you -their kindest regards. (_Both on sofa, KATE L., SIR PETER R._) - -KATE. (_facing audience_) That's very nice of them. On your return, -doctor, will you be so good as to give my kindest regards to the -entire medical staff at Guy's? - -SIR P. The house-surgeon, Mr. Kennedy, I regret to say, sends you his -love. - -KATE. Will you also give my love to Mr. Kennedy? - -SIR P. The students send you a kiss apiece. - -KATE. Will you please kiss the students all round. (_SIR PETER makes a -gesture of objection._) - -SIR P. Are you sorry you changed your position? - -KATE. No, Sir Peter. I have been very happy here. Mr. Selwyn has -always treated me with such consideration that, I am afraid, sometimes -I forget that I am not one of the family; Mrs. Selwyn has never been -_unkind_ to me, and Mildred I have learnt to love almost as a sister. - -SIR P. Good. My object in introducing you here being accomplished, I -feel myself at liberty to explain it. The medical profession has its -romantic episodes. I am going to tell you one. - -KATE. Go on. I love romances. (_faces SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Three years ago, a patient of mine died--nothing remarkable in -that--it's a habit my patients have--leaving a grown-up son and a -young daughter to inherit his very considerable fortune. He died -beloved by his children and respected by all who knew him, but on his -deathbed he confided to me a secret. He was a thief and a bigamist. -When very young he had married a rich lady. This marriage he had -concealed, and under a false name had married again. For some years he -had lived a double life and had two families. By his first and lawful -wife he had one child--a daughter; and having contrived to possess -himself of the whole of this lady's fortune, ultimately he deserted -her. The fortune of the first wife he left to his children by the -second, who are to this day quite unconscious of their father's crime. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. In his later years, he had searched privately for his first -wife and child, but he could find no trace of them. That search he -bequeathed to me, and a pretty legacy it's been! For a long time my -inquiries were unavailing, but at last I discovered that the mother -was dead. - -KATE. And the daughter? - -SIR P. Was one of my own nurses at Guy's Hospital. - -KATE. At Guy's! - -SIR P. I had known her by sight for months, but had not happened to -hear her name--Kate Derwent. - -KATE. (_rising_) I? - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sinks back into seat_) What was I to do? All -this man's children were my personal friends. The two, who had legally -inherited your mother's fortune, morally were not entitled to a -shilling. You, who legally are penniless, morally are entitled to it -all. If ever there was a case for an amicable arrangement, this was -one; and I thought it would facilitate a settlement, if you were all -made acquainted with one another. With that object I introduced you -into this house. - -KATE. Surely you cannot mean---- - -SIR P. I can--I do. - -KATE. That Mr. Selwyn--(_rising_) - -SIR P. Is your brother. - -KATE. Mildred---- - -SIR P. Your sister. - -KATE. And their father---- - -SIR P. Yours. Now comes the question; what is to be done? - -KATE. (_with determination_) Nothing. - -SIR P. How nothing? - -KATE. You say they don't know anything. Not that their father -was--(_stops short_) - -SIR P. A scoundrel? No. - -KATE. Not that their mother---- - -SIR P. Was his victim? No. - -KATE. Not who I am? - -SIR P. Not who you are. - -KATE. Then, let them never know it. (_crosses to R.C., L. of table_) - -SIR P. Nonsense. I must see you properly provided for. - -KATE. I am provided for. (_gets C._) I have earned my living for -years, and I can earn it to the end. I am not used to wealth, and -should not know what to do with it. They are, and could not be happy -without it. Let them remain in ignorance of the truth. - -SIR P. (_rises and goes towards her, C._) Miss Derwent, you are a most -extraordinary person. I tell you, you are entitled to a fortune, and -you don't ask how much it is. A woman--and no curiosity. - -KATE. I don't care how much it is or how little. I don't want to know. -(_turns away to front of table_) - -SIR P. This is a matter of no less than two hundred thousand pounds. -Well? - -KATE. I said nothing. - -SIR P. Then will you please say something? - -KATE. I have nothing to say. - -SIR P. A woman--and nothing to say. You regard two hundred thousand -pounds with contempt. Think, how many new frocks it would buy. (_going -to her_) - -KATE. I do not regard money with contempt; for money can sometimes buy -happiness. But we are all perfectly happy as we are. Why do you want -to disturb us? - -SIR P. (_R. of table_) You think only of the present; but consider the -future. Some day, you may have a daughter of your own---- - -KATE. No, I shall never marry. - -SIR P. Never what? - -KATE. I am in earnest. (_goes down a few steps, R.C._) - -SIR P. A woman--and not want to be married! Hang me, if I believe -you're a woman at all! (_goes to L.C._) - -KATE. Why? Because I want to be generous? - -SIR P. (_above KATE_) Miss Derwent, there is a higher virtue than -generosity, and that is justice. It is easy enough to be generous, but -it hard indeed to be just--especially to oneself. This is a question -of pounds, shillings, and pence. - -KATE. (_works up to C._) Pardon me, Sir Peter--this is a question of -breaking the hearts of those who were kind to me when I needed -kindness, who befriended me when I was alone in the world, whom I have -already learned to love almost as what they are--my brother and -sister. Their father--my father--is dead, but his memory is dear to -them. I know they loved him--and I know they honoured him. How can I -imperil that love, and how can I stultify that honour? How can I cloud -the sunshine of my sister's life with the shadow of her father's sin? -No, Sir Peter! If that is justice, justice is beyond me. I am only -equal to generosity. I _am_ a woman, only a woman--and I can't do it. -Not for a hundred fortunes! Not for all the world. (_goes to L. of -table and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes up to C._) Yes, you are a woman after all--and as -self-willed and silly as the rest. To throw away two hundred thousand -pounds! Why, I've decimated my fellow creatures for half that. It's -wicked--positively wicked. You deserve to die in a ditch. - -KATE. (_rises_) I will die where heaven wills it, but I shall at least -have the consciousness that I have done something to repair my -father's wrong. - -SIR P. Rubbish--romantic rubbish. - -KATE. Promise me that you will keep this secret--that you will say -nothing to my brother--promise me, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. I shall promise nothing. I shall use my own discretion, as I -always do. (_turns off, L.C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter! (_following him_) - -SIR P. You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_)--good, generous, true-hearted girl, and I am -your friend always! Look here! I'm old enough to be your father--(_is -about to kiss her. Re-enter PRICE, R.D.; aside_) Damn that man! (_goes -L., PRICE sounds gong, R., below fire-place_) - -_Music in orchestra till act drop. Re-enter TOM and MILDRED, running -in from grounds, followed by BEATRICE and LORD NORMANTOWER leisurely, -C. from R._ - -TOM. (_throwing his hat on R. table_) Lunch, at last! Aren't I ready -for it? (_runs off, R.D._) - -MIL. (_throwing hers on the table_) Tom! Wait for me. (_runs off -R.D._) - -_KATE looks from MILDRED to SIR PETER pathetically. Exit PRICE, R.D. -PHILIP appears on staircase, slowly coming down._ - -BEA. (_coming down C._) You must be hungry after your journey. (_R. of -LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_coming down C._) Yes, thank heaven, my appetite is as -redoubtable as ever. Miss Derwent may--(_about to offer arm_) - -BEA. (_cutting in_) Sir Peter, will you bring Miss Derwent? - -_LORD NORMANTOWER is obliged to offer his arm to BEATRICE. Exit LORD -NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE, R. SIR PETER offers his arm to KATE whom he -takes R.C._ - -PHIL. (_on stairs_) Stop, doctor, stop. (_comes down to R. of KATE_) -Don't monopolise all the good things. Suppose we go shares. (_offers -his arm to KATE_) - -KATE. (_between the two_) Don't be scandalised. (_to SIR PETER_) Mr. -Selwyn often gives me his arm. Here--(_looking at PHILIP_) I am more -like a friend than a dependant. - -PHIL. (looking at KATE) More like a sister than a friend. (_exeunt, -R.D._) - -SWELL MUSIC. - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty Minutes. Wait: Thirteen Minutes._ - - -ACT II. - -SCENE.--_A Boudoir, opening through a conservatory on to a terrace. -Doors, R. and L. A water jug and goblet on table. A week has elapsed. -Morning. Lights full up. Music for Act Drop._ - -_BEATRICE enters, L., as curtain rises. KATE discovered watering -plants in conservatory, up in opening, R.C._ - -BEA. Good morning, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. Good morning, Mrs. Selwyn. - -BEA. At work, as usual. How industrious you are! (_comes down C., to -sofa_) - -KATE. Yes--I've been saying good-bye to all my favourites. -(_pause--BEATRICE takes up a book--KATE goes on watering the plants_) -How is Mr. Selwyn this morning? - -BEA. He is not so well. (_her back is towards KATE_) - -KATE. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he will be well enough to shake -hands with me before I go. - -BEA. Then you are determined to leave us? - -KATE. (_leaves can up R.C., and comes down C._) I can't tell you how -sorry I am, but I mustn't stop here for ever. Mildred learnt all that -I can teach her long ago; and if I stay much longer, I shall be the -pupil. Since Mr. Verinder's arrival I have had several lessons in the -English language as it is spoken at Eton, and I flatter myself I shall -soon be able to "cackle" as well as if I wore a remarkably short -jacket and remarkably tight inexpressibles. - -BEA. You under-rate your accomplishments. _I_ don't think there is -_much_ that Mildred could teach you. - -KATE. (_grimaces behind her back_) Don't make me blush, my dear. - -BEA. You make _me_ blush sometimes. - -KATE. Then you ought to be extremely obliged to me, for nothing -becomes you better. (_grimaces as before_) Mrs. Selwyn, we are now -quite old friends. I cannot leave Ravenhurst without some little -memento of our companionship--There are no horrid men about to hear -us--Before I go, tell me (_dropping down near BEATRICE into an -attitude of mock earnestness_) oh, tell me---- (_behind sofa R. of -BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Well? - -KATE. The secret of your complexion. - -BEA. (_smiling_) It's a very simple one--Arsenic. - -KATE. (_rises_) Arsenic! But that's a poison. - -BEA. Yes, if you take too much of it; but if you take a little, it---- - -KATE. It what! - -BEA. Improves the complexion. - -KATE. Does it? Where do you get it? - -BEA. From the chemist's, of course. - -KATE. But will they sell it you? - -BEA. Yes, if you're candid and confide in them. My love, if you want -to look better than Nature intended you---- - -KATE. As, of course, I do---- - -BEA. Confide in your chemist. Make some ridiculous excuse--say that -the family cat is in convulsions--and they will sell you nothing. They -know it's absurd. Say that you want to improve your complexion, and -they will sell you anything; they know it's the truth. - -KATE. My dear Mrs. Selwyn--for this information much thanks. (_moves -towards door, R.U.E._) - -BEA. Where are you going? - -KATE. To the chemist's. - -_Enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. May I come in? (_comes well on stage, R.C._) - -KATE. (_up C._) It seems to me you've come. (_between NORMANTOWER and -BEATRICE_) - -NOR. Yes; when I want to do anything particularly, I do it first and -ask permission afterwards. It prevents disappointment, and it's so -very easy to apologise. - -BEA. In this case no apology is needed. - -NOR. (_starting_) Mrs. Selwyn! excuse me for not seeing you. (_crosses -down to BEATRICE, standing R. of sofa. KATE turns up and resumes -watering plants, R.C._) How is Philip to-day? - -BEA. I'm sorry to say my husband is not at all well this morning. - -NOR. Old Lund seems to be making him worse instead of better. - -BEA. Sir Peter has now been here a week, and Philip has grown worse -every day. - -NOR. I'm sure _I_ oughtn't to find fault with Lund; he's polished off -nearly all my relations for me; but I'm not certain that I quite -believe in the old boy. There's too much M.D.F.S.A. about him. I never -knew a fool who hadn't half the alphabet at the end of his name. -(_turns away a few steps_) - -KATE. (_demurely_) At _which_ end my Lord Edward, Arthur, Henry, Earl -of Normantower? (_coming down to R. of NORMANTOWER, R.C., can in -hand. BEATRICE rises and goes to fire L., taking book with her_) - -NOR. Now, that's too bad of you, Miss Derwent. It's not my fault that -I've enough names to christen the family of a curate. - -KATE. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't throw stones at a friend of -mine! (_goes up to opening R.C._) - -NOR. Mine was a very little stone; yours was half a brick. (_KATE -continues watering the plants_) - -PHIL. (_off, L._) Beatrice! - -BEA. My husband! I must leave Miss Derwent to console you. She won't -have many more opportunities. (_goes up L._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! - -BEA. Yes, dear! I'm coming! (_exit L.D._) - -NOR. Not many more opportunities? What does she mean? (_standing -puzzled C.--turning his head to KATE_) - -KATE. (_in conservatory_) Mrs. Selwyn means that I am leaving -Ravenhurst. - -NOR. You're going away! (_goes up to KATE_) - -KATE. This afternoon. (R.) } - } _of opening, R.C._) -NOR. For good? (L.) } - -KATE. For Mrs. Selwyn's good. - -NOR. You don't mean to say she's given you notice. - -KATE. (_comes down R.C., as far as piano_) Mrs. Selwyn is too amiable -to give anybody notice; but when she wants to get rid of them, in the -most charming manner in the world, she makes them so exceedingly -uncomfortable that they give notice themselves. - -NOR. (_comes down L. of her_) But she can't possibly want to get rid -of _you?_ - -KATE. Why not? - -NOR. We're all in love with _you._ - -KATE. Are you? Perhaps that's the reason. Do you like plants? (_turns -suddenly, can in hand, so that the water is supposed to splash -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Blow plants! (_drawing back_) - -KATE. (_stopping_) _What_ plants? (_in opening R.C._) - -NOR. (_goes to fire, L., wiping his coat_) Any plants--all plants--I -hate 'em. - -KATE. (_crosses in conservatory to L.C._) I love them. I have been -watering my pets for the last time. - -NOR. (L.) I see. You've been standing them a parting drink. - -KATE. My lord! (_in opening L.C._) - -NOR. By the way, isn't tobacco very good for plants? (_crossing up to -C._) - -KATE. Excellent. Why do you ask? - -NOR. I was just thinking, while you are watering the plants in the -conservatory, it might be doing them a service if I were to smoke a -cigarette in the conservatory. (_producing case_) - -KATE. (_puts can down, L.C., behind flat, and comes down to -NORMANTOWER, C._) Not for the world! Lord Normantower, let me tell -you a shocking fact. The very odour of tobacco has such an effect upon -me, that if you were to light a cigarette---- - -NOR. (_putting case back_) It would make you uncomfortable? - -KATE. No! I should want to join you. - -NOR. No! - -KATE. There! you're shocked. (_goes down to sofa_) - -NOR. Not a bit of it. I like you, Miss Derwent, because you say what -you mean. - -KATE. Sometimes I say a great deal more than I mean. (_sits on sofa_) - -NOR. And sometimes I mean a great deal more than I can say. Miss -Derwent---- (_behind sofa, R. of KATE_) - -KATE. (_sitting_) Lord Normantower? - -NOR. What a strange thing it is that you have grown this old---- -(_KATE looks at him_) I mean, this young, without being married. - -KATE. I shall never marry. - -NOR. That's exactly my case. I've had one disappointment, and I don't -mean to have another. Once bit, twice shy, they say. - -KATE. _You_ have been bitten? - -NOR. (_goes to R.C._) Badly. But it's all for the best. It's made me -distrustful of women and a confirmed bachelor. (_returns to back of -sofa_) Why do people want to get married? - -KATE. I've often wondered. - -NOR. (_about to take her hand_) Miss Derwent, I've been so awfully -glad I'm a confirmed bachelor, ever since I met _you._ - -KATE. (_removing her hand, which his hand follows_) What difference -can that make? - -NOR. Well, you see, if I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, I might have -been married. - -KATE. Well? - -NOR. (_hand business repeated_) And if I was married, I couldn't marry -again. - -KATE. Of course not. - -NOR. And if I couldn't marry again, I couldn't marry---- - -KATE. Go on. Finish your sentence. - -NOR. (_seizing her hand_) You! - -_Enter SIR PETER, through conservatory, suddenly, R.U.E. They take -opposite sides of the stage; KATE, L.C., NORMANTOWER, R._ - -SIR P. Ah! I saw you! (_comes down C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter, I believe you have eyes in the small of your back. - -SIR P. Yes--and ears too. I heard you. - -NOR. Then, why did you interrupt us? - -SIR P. I thought it was time. You forget, that I am in the next -room--that the rooms communicate through the terrace--and that you had -not taken the precaution of shutting the outer door of the -conservatory. (_KATE and NORMANTOWER look at one another_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE L.D., she goes down L. to KATE._ - -BEA. Ah, doctor! Philip was asking for you. He has just got up. What -time's your train, Miss Derwent? - -KATE. Half-past two. I must be getting ready. (_NORMANTOWER turns up -and opens R.U.D., standing above it_) - -SIR P. Then, it's decided, you are going? - -KATE. Quite. But I shall see you again. (_crosses in front of SIR -PETER up to R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_comes to front of sofa_) The brougham is quite at your service. -(_KATE bows and exit R.U.D. NORMANTOWER speaks through open door to -her for a few moments_) - -SIR P. (C.) So Miss Derwent is leaving you? - -BEA. She wished to go. She has always been allowed to do as she -pleased here, and she has availed herself of the privilege. - -SIR P. (_looking at BEATRICE_) I see. (_enter PHILIP L.D._) - -BEA. Ah, here is Philip! (_goes to him, affectionately_) - -PHIL. Good morning, doctor. (_coming down with his arm round -BEATRICE_) Morning, Normantower. (_goes to sofa and sits. BEATRICE -goes to back of table L.C. and sits_) - -NOR. Sorry to hear you're not so well this morning. (_comes down R. -and sits at piano, facing PHILIP_) - -PHIL. I ought to get better, if the best of doctors and the most -devoted of nurses are of any use; but somehow I don't. - -SIR P. You get worse. (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. I shouldn't mind so much, if I didn't find my temper giving -way--just now, I spoke quite crossly to poor little Mousey here -(_takes her hand_)--and she was only carrying out your instructions. -(_to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. The fact is, doctor, he's a very naughty boy, and won't take his -medicine, though I always give it him with my own hands. He hasn't -taken any to-day. - -SIR P. Oh, you won't take your medicine? - -PHIL. It's such horrid stuff; and somehow, I always feel worse after -taking it. - -SIR P. So much the better. Shows it's doing you good. - -NOR. (_smiling_) That's all my eye, doctor. (_BEATRICE rises and goes -towards R.U.D._) - -SIR P. No, sir, it's all his liver. Oblige me by not interrupting. - -BEA. (_up R.C._) Come, Lord Normantower. (_NORMANTOWER rises, turns up -and opens R.U.D. for BEATRICE, who crosses in front of him. PHILIP -rises and goes to L._) Sir Peter would like to be alone with Philip. -(_exit BEATRICE R.U.D._) - -NOR. (_following--aside_) And I'd like to be alone with Miss Derwent. -(_exit NORMANTOWER_) - -PHIL. Now I am at your service. (_arranges easy chair and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes to R. of table, L.C._) Have you made your will? - -PHIL. (_starts_) Well, you're a lively doctor! - -SIR P. Have you made your will? (_with emphasis_) - -PHIL. Am I so ill as that? (_aghast_) - -SIR P. Yes, sir--you are. - -PHIL. But if it's only my liver. - -SIR P. It is _not_ your liver. - -PHIL. Is it my heart? Is anything wrong there? - -SIR P. Nothing of any consequence. It's rather too large, and rather -too soft--that's all that's wrong with your heart. - -PHIL. What is it then? - -SIR P. (_sits on sofa_) I can account for your condition, only on one -hypothesis, and that one is out of the question. - -PHIL. Mayn't I know what it is? - -SIR P. Since it's out of the question, it's no use discussing it. You -haven't answered me. Have you made your will? - -PHIL. Yes--long ago. It was a very simple matter. Mildred is provided -for; so I have left everything to my wife, absolutely. (_SIR PETER -rises and rings the bell, below fire, crossing in front_) - -PHIL. Do you want anything? - -SIR P. Yes. The name and address of your solicitor. - -PHIL. Old Merivale, of High Street! why? (_enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., she -comes on to R.C._) - -SIR P. (_crosses to C._) Mr. Selwyn's compliments to Mr. Merivale, -Solicitor, High Street, and will he kindly come here at once? (_exit -JOHNSON R.U.D. SIR PETER returns to R. of table_) - -PHIL. What for? - -SIR P. To draw your will. - -PHIL. But I tell you, I've made it. - -SIR P. You must make another. (_sits, produces documents, and puts on -pince-nez_) - -PHIL. Sir Peter, you are incomprehensible! - -SIR P. Let me make myself clear. Your father, Philip Selwyn, was -married to your mother, Mildred Kent, in July, 1865. I need not show -you the certificate. - -PHIL. Of course not. - -SIR P. Two years before, in March, 1863, one Philip Derwent was -married to one Kate Graham. - -PHIL. Derwent? Kate? Miss Derwent's father, I presume? - -SIR P. Yes. There is the certificate. - -PHIL. I don't want to see it. - -SIR P. But I want you to see it. (_gives it to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_glances at it and returns it_) How does it concern me? - -SIR P. It concerns _her_, doesn't it? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. And she being your half-sister, it concerns _you_. - -PHIL. Miss Derwent, my half-sister! What do you mean? - -SIR P. That Philip Selwyn and Philip Derwent were one and the same -person. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Of that I have no proof, except your father's word. - -PHIL. My father's word? - -SIR P. Given to me on his death-bed. Do you _doubt_ his word? Do you -doubt mine? - -PHIL. No--but I cannot grasp it! Am I awake, or am I dreaming? I have -such strange dreams. - -SIR P. You are awake--and for the first time in your life. Till -to-day, you have been living in a dream. - -PHIL. My father was a widower, when he married my mother? Why did he -not say so? Why did he change his name? - -SIR P. Because he was _not_ a widower. - -PHIL. Not a widower! - -SIR P. Because his first wife was alive---- - -PHIL. Alive! (_leaning well forward_) - -SIR P. There is the certificate of her death--twenty years later. - -(_PHILIP takes it, looks at it blankly, drops back into seat._) - -PHIL. (_after a short pause_) Incredible! - -SIR P. I haven't half done yet. - -PHIL. Go on--go on. (_leaning forward again to table and placing -certificate on it_) - -SIR P. You inherited from your father everything you possess? - -PHIL. Everything! - -SIR P. He bequeathed to you, and your sister Mildred, all his fortune? - -PHIL. All. - -SIR P. Where did he get that fortune? - -PHIL. Well? - -SIR P. From his first wife. - -PHIL. (_springing up_) It's false! it _must_ be false! - -SIR P. (_rises_) I have his word for it, and it can be proved. He left -her penniless; and left his child to struggle with the world as best -they could--and nobly they did it. Yes, sir, it is too true. The -father you have loved and honoured _was_---- - -PHIL. (_extending his arms, as if to stop SIR PETER_) My father! (_SIR -PETER stands for a moment, nonplussed_) - -SIR P. Was your father--just so. (_turns off. SIR PETER picks up -certificate from table and goes to R.C. down stage, folding papers -which he returns to his pocket, PHILIP leans on mantel-piece--aside, -looking at PHILIP_) Takes it very well. - -PHIL. (_goes to L.C., helping himself by table_) I want to ask you one -question. Dare I? (_they stand looking at one another for an instant_) - -SIR P. You mean, your mother. - -PHIL. Yes. - -SIR P. She knew nothing of this. - -PHIL. Thank heaven for that--thank heaven! (_falls heavily into sofa, -and sobs upon the table_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, followed by KATE, in travelling dress, R.U.D. SIR -PETER down R. PHILIP sits up._ - -BEA. (_up C._) Philip dear, Miss Derwent has come to say good-bye to -you. She is going. (_crosses behind and goes down L. of table_) - -PHIL. (_rising_) She is _not_ going. (_SIR PETER turns up to piano_) - -KATE. (_crosses down to PHILIP_) The brougham is at the door, Mr. -Selwyn, and I have left myself barely time to catch the train; but I -could not go without shaking hands with you, and thanking you for all -your kindness. I came here a stranger, and I have found almost a -brother. (_offers her two hands_) - -PHIL. (_taking and holding them_) Yes, you _have_ found a brother; and -_I_ have found a sister. - -KATE. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Whom I have wronged without knowing it--of whose very existence -I was unaware till this moment; but whom I know at last, and to whom I -will make restitution. - -BEA. Philip? (_advances a step; PHILIP turns to BEATRICE_) - -KATE. (_turning to SIR PETER_) You have broken your promise! - -SIR P. I made no promise. (_sits R. by piano, interested in scene_) - -PHIL. Yes, Beatrice, this is my sister---- - -KATE. (_C., breaking out_) But you need not acknowledge me. I ask for -nothing but to go away. Let the past be forgotten. Of what use is it -to revive a sorrow that is dead, and to publish a sin that is unknown? -(_to SIR PETER_) It cannot be right to make three beings unhappy, to -do justice to one, when all that one asks is to go away. - -PHIL. You know, then? - -KATE. Everything! - -PHIL. And you have said nothing! - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa_) Because you have taught me to love you! -(_PHILIP sinks on sofa_) I want you to be happy--I want to be happy -myself--and if I wreck your happiness, I shall destroy my own. All I -ask is to go--let me go! let me go! (_goes to SIR PETER who rises and -checks her, and then sits again_) - -PHIL. It is for me to go. This place belongs to you. - -BEA. (L.C.) To her? (_front of table_) - -PHIL. Yes, all I have is hers. (_turning to BEATRICE_) Beatrice, my -father was not married to my mother legally--he was married -before--Kate is his lawful child--the money he left me was her -mother's--and to her it must be restored, to the last shilling. - -SIR P. (_rises_) Nonsense! this is quixotic! - -PHIL. (_peremptorily_) I know what my duty is, and it shall be done. -(_to BEATRICE_) Am I not right? - -BEA. (_humbly_) Yes, Philip. - -PHIL. (_goes to KATE, C., takes her hand and puts arm round her; to -KATE_) You have battled with the world long enough. Now it is _my_ -turn. Till to-day I have been living in a fool's paradise, but now I -have awaken from my dream. I am not afraid, because I am not alone. -(_goes slowly to BEATRICE and takes her hand_) Many things have been -taken from me. My fortune, my good name, my father's memory--all these -are gone! but you are left to me. I have a wife to work for, whose -love will sustain me; who will share my trials as she has shared my -prosperity. (_goes towards KATE_) Don't fear for me. I will fight and -I will conquer. (_dropping exhausted_) Ah, if I were only stronger! -(_on sofa; BEATRICE goes to fire, L._) - -SIR P. (_goes to KATE who is R. of sofa; to KATE who is about to -speak_) You have said enough. Remember, your brother is an invalid. -(_goes to R.C._) - -PHIL. But I _won't_ be an invalid--I'll make my will to-day. - -BEA. _Another_ will? (_at fire_) - -PHIL. Leaving Kate everything. - -KATE. (_to back of sofa, R. of PHILIP_) Philip! I _must_ speak, for -our sister's sake. If you have no thought for yourself, have some for -her. - -PHIL. Mildred is provided for already. I cannot deal with _her_ money; -but I can with my own. - -KATE. It is not a question of money. Remember, if this secret is made -known---- - -PHIL. Ah! - -KATE. What will be said of her? - -PHIL. That never crossed my thoughts. - -KATE. (_goes down a few steps, C._) Think of it now. It is not too -late. - -PHIL. Oh! (_pressing his hands to his temples_) What am I to do? - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa, below it and kneels_) Do what is best for -everyone. Accept a favour from a sister who asks you--on her knees! -Keep our secret! Remain here--the master of Ravenhurst. Philip! For -Mildred's sake. - -PHIL. (_opening his arms_) Kate! may God bless you! - -KATE. Brother! (_falling into his arms. BEATRICE stands with her head -bowed submissively_) - -SIR P. (_comes to KATE who rises, he takes her away R.C. a few steps_) -There, that's settled. Now, let my patient have a little rest. - -PHIL. (_to KATE, who moves away_) You won't go far? You won't leave -Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. (_prompting KATE_) No. - -KATE. No. - -PHIL. You will stay here--under this roof? - -SIR P. (_prompting_) Yes. - -KATE. If I am welcome--for the present--yes. - -PHIL. And for the future? - -BEA. (_crosses to C._) Yes. Your sister will be always welcome here. -(_takes KATE'S hand. KATE bows to her and exit R.I.D. BEATRICE turns -to PHILIP caressingly_) - -SIR P. (_following--aside_) Damn'd good actress, that woman! (_exit -R._) - -PHIL. How can I thank you, Beatrice? How can I tell you bow proud I am -of you, and how I love you? (_holding both her hands, draws her down -by his side_) Oh, my darling wife, how can I soften this blow which -has fallen upon you? (_embracing her_) - -BEA. Philip, don't think of _me._ - -PHIL. (_R. arm round her_) But I _must_ think of you, who never think -of yourself. If I were to die? (_L. hand holding hers_) - -BEA. Dearest, don't talk of death. (_withdraws hand_) - -PHIL. (_takes his arm from her, and leans forward_) I am more ill than -I seem--more ill than anybody knows. I can't help thinking of death, -for every day it seems to draw nearer and nearer. I can feel it -coming--slowly, mysteriously, weirdly--gathering about me--wrapping me -round and round. (_almost to himself_) - -BEA. (_rises_) Hush, Philip, hush! You are tired. (_goes away two -steps to C._) Shall I leave you for a while? - -PHIL. No, no! Don't go away. (_holding out his hands as she moves up -to back of sofa, R. of him_) You are all I have left, mousey. I am not -tired; but oh, I feel so drowsy! I seem to get worse every day. - -BEA. And why, my dear? Because you won't take your medicine. Come. Let -me bring it you now. (_goes towards L.D._) - -PHIL. That beastly medicine! Perhaps I'd better take it; but I shall -have no head to talk to old Merivale, when he comes. - -BEA. You've sent for him? (_behind chair back of table_) - -PHIL. I expect him every minute. - -BEA. Then, there's no time to be lost. I'll bring it you at once. -(_goes L._) - -PHIL. I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey? (_R. end of sofa facing her_) - -BEA. In what way? (_at door L._) - -PHIL. In making this new will. - -BEA. You always do right, Philip. - -PHIL. I have your acquiescence? - -BEA. Certainly. - -PHIL. Then, I will lose no time. It shall be made to-day. - -_Exit BEATRICE, L.D._ - -PHIL. (_knock at door, R._) Who is it? - -_Enter TOM R.U.D., followed closely by MILDRED, arm in arm._ - -TOM. (_up R.C._) Only me, Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_up R.C._) Only _I,_ Tom. - -TOM. Oh, bother grammar! (_releases her arm, they come down to C._) - -PHIL. Well, children? How are _you_ to-day? - -TOM. (_L. of MILDRED_) Oh, we're all right; but, I say, Mr. Selwyn, I -wish everybody wouldn't call us "children." I don't like it. - -MIL. And it's not true. - -TOM. I'm turned sixteen. - -MIL. And I'm fifteen next birthday! - -PHIL. Well, then, my man and woman, what do you want? - -TOM. You tell him, Mildred! } - } (_half whispered_) -MIL. No--_you_ tell him, Tom! } - -TOM. Are you quite well enough to stand a shock? - -PHIL. What, are you studying electricity? Or is it some toy? - -TOM. Electricity! (_with contempt--turns up C., and down again_) - -MIL. A toy! - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn, you make it jolly hard for a fellow to say what he -wants to say--just when he wants a leg up. - -MIL. Tom! "A leg up?" - -TOM. Oh, bother style! Let me say what I mean. - -PHIL. And what do you mean, my lad? (_smiling_) - -TOM. If you please--we want to get married. (_rather frightened, -taking MILDRED'S hand, and retreating with her up to R.C., facing -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_suddenly serious_) Want to get married? - -MIL. That's the shock! - -TOM. (_aside to her_) Now for it. (_holding her tight_) Don't run -away--_I_ won't! - -PHIL. You are both too young to think about such things! - -TOM. (_sturdily_) I'm sure we're not too young--(_down to C._) - -MIL. To _think_ about such things. - -PHIL. Well, to talk about them. - -MIL. (_crosses TOM to PHILIP, back of sofa. Imploringly_) Philip! - -TOM. Mildred, this is no place for you. (_hands her across to R.U.D._) -Leave me alone with Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_aside to TOM_) Tom! You won't come to blows? (_at R.U.D._) - -TOM. (_L. of her, aside to her_) I will control myself. I will not -forget the respect that is due to the brother of my affianced wife. - -MIL. That's right, Tom. - -TOM. Wait for me--on the mat. (_exit MILDRED, R.U.D. TOM comes boldly -down to C._) Now, Mr. Selwyn, we are alone. We can discuss this matter -as men of the world. - -PHIL. My dear Tom-- (_TOM draws himself up_) Mr. Verinder--Such a -thing as marriage at your early age is, of course, preposterous; but I -wish you distinctly to understand that the remotest idea of an -engagement between you and Mildred is equally out of the question. - -TOM. May I ask why, sir? - -PHIL. You belong to a very proud family; and there are reasons which -you would scarcely understand---- - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Which, at any rate, I can't enter into--that make it impossible -you should ever marry my sister. - -TOM. That is your ultimatum? (_a step towards PHILIP_) - -PHIL. Yes. (_sighing_) - -TOM. Good day, sir. (_walks to the door, R., with importance, suddenly -breaks down--exit blubbering, R.U.D._) - -PHIL. (_rises_) Poor Tom! He's only a boy, but he's a gentleman! -(_goes to fire, L., and leans on mantle_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., pouring medicine out of a medicine bottle -into a medicine glass, in which she has already put the poison. She -comes down C. to R. of table._ - -BEA. Here it is, Philip. (_hands glass to him_) - -PHIL. Oh dear me, how tired I am of the horrid stuff! (_takes glass, -and sits wearily L. of table_) Surely you have given me too much? - -BEA. No--just the right measure. See! (_between table and sofa, -holding up bottle_) - -PHIL. How many doses are there left? - -BEA. (_with bottle_) Only three more. (_puts bottle on R. of table, -and goes round behind to back of PHILIP_) Now, drink it up without -thinking about it; and if, like a good boy, you don't leave a drop, -you shall have a kiss afterwards, to take the taste away. - -PHIL. Well, I suppose I must. (_raises glass to his lips--about to -drink, BEATRICE watches him eagerly_) - -_Enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., quickly._ - -JOHN. (_up R.C._) Oh, if you please'm! (_pants_) - -(_PHILIP puts glass down on L. side of table_) - -BEA. (_annoyed_) What's the matter, Johnson? (_moves a little towards -JOHNSON_) - -JOHN. Miss Mildred---- (_out of breath_) - -PHIL. What of Miss Mildred? - -JOHN. She is in hysterics. - -PHIL. Mildred ill! (_rises and goes quickly across R. Exeunt JOHNSON -and PHILIP R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_follows across to R.C. up stage_) Never mind Mildred! Philip -dear! (_stamps her foot_) Only another second and---- (_moves down C. -looking at glass_) - -PHIL. (_off_) Beatrice! - -_Re-enter TOM breathless, R._ - -TOM. Oh, Mrs. Selwyn, please do come to Mildred! She's in a fit, or -something. (_R. of BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Nonsense! - -TOM. Do come, please! (_passes behind to L. of her_) The shock has -been too much for her. - -_Re-enter PHILIP quickly._ - -PHIL. Beatrice! Quick! (_TOM has her L. hand, PHILIP her right; they -force her to the door between them; as BEATRICE exits she looks back -at glass on table_) - -BEA. In a moment! (_glancing at glass_) - -TOM. Come along! - -PHIL. Beatrice! do come! (_exeunt R. upper door. The door shuts with a -bang. Music in orchestra_) - -_SIR PETER appears in the conservatory, and enters from R._ - -SIR P. Nobody here. Perhaps he's lying down. (_taps at door, L._) -Nobody there. They've gone downstairs. (_comes down to C. passing -behind sofa_) He must be better, then. (_music stops, pause, lost in -thought_) Peter, my boy, if anyone had told you, you could study a -case as you have studied this, for a week, and not be able to make -head or tail of it, you would have kicked--pulled his nose for him. -(_goes to R. of table._) What _is_ the matter with this man? Of course -it _might_ be--but that's out of the question. (_sits on sofa_) Ah, -there's his medicine. What did he say? He always felt worse after -taking it. I don't know why he should. Only a tonic, with a nasty -flavour. People like nasty medicine. Think it does 'em good. (_rises, -tastes it_) Well--_it is_ nasty. (_starts slightly as he tastes it on -his tongue--lifts glass to light, examines it, then smells it, smells -it again, tastes again cautiously by his finger, sets the glass down, -and stands looking at it_) Nothing's out of the question! I ought to -have known it. (_pours dose into the goblet, smells and tastes the -bottle_) That's all right. (_music in orchestra. Pours out another -dose into the glass, which he replaces exactly where he found it, -recorks the bottle and exit slowly with goblet through conservatory, -R., pausing in C. a moment to examine medicine._) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R., quickly, sees the medicine, stops short and -resumes her wonted manner; down C. Re-enter PHILIP, R.; music stops._ - -PHIL. She's better now; but I was rather alarmed. (_down to C._) - -BEA. Poor child! (_goes to fire L._) - -PHIL. She'll soon get over it. Only a girlish fancy. Where did I put -that medicine? (_looking about_) - -BEA. Here it is, dear. (_gives him the glass--advancing to him_) - -PHIL. (_grimacing_) You can't think how I hate it. - -BEA. Don't be so absurd. I declare, you're as great a baby as _she_ -is. (_backs up stage, watching him_) - -PHIL. One--two--three! (_drinks it off. BEATRICE gives a sigh of -satisfaction_) Ugh! Give me some water. (_goes to piano and puts glass -down_) - -BEA. (_passes behind table down to L. of it_) Why, the tumbler is -gone! Who can have taken it? (_looking about_) - -PHIL. Johnson, I daresay. (_sits R. by piano_) All right; I'm better -now. That's one dose less to take. (_Re-enter SIR PETER through -conservatory, with the goblet empty_) Three more, I think you said. - -BEA. (_holds up bottle_) But there are only _two!_ (_alarmed_) -Someone's been here! - -SIR P. Yes, _I_ have. (_comes down C. to R. of sofa_) - -BEA. (_terrified_) _You!_ - -SIR P. Your husband complained of his medicine. I thought I'd test it; -so I took a dose. - -BEA. (_dismayed_) _You_ took it? (_puts bottle on table_) - -SIR P. Yes. (_looking at her_) - -PHIL. A doctor take a dose of his own medicine! - -SIR P. Only to my room. (_advances to R. of table_) Allow me to return -you the glass. (_gives goblet to BEATRICE_) - -PHIL. And you have tested it? - -SIR P. Yes. - -BEA. (_prepared for the worst_) With what result? - -SIR P. With none. As I expected, just what I prescribed. (_sits on -sofa. BEATRICE, intensely relieved, turns aside to hide her emotion, -as if to put goblet on mantel-piece, L._) - -PHIL. And what did you prescribe, Sir Peter? What is this stuff you're -giving me? - -SIR P. A very common medicine. (_crossing his legs_) - -PHIL. But what is it? - -SIR P. (_With his eyes fixed on BEATRICE_) Arsenic. (_PHILIP'S face -falls. BEATRICE turns quickly, dropping the goblet, which is shivered -to fragments_) - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty minutes. Wait: Eleven minutes._ - - -ACT III. - -SCENE.--_Same as Act II. It is after dinner, the room is lighted. -Evening dress. KATE is discovered at piano, finishing a song; -NORMANTOWER standing beside her. TOM, L., and MILDRED, R., are seated -on the centre seat, taking no notice of anybody, and looking the -pictures of woe. BEATRICE'S fan on piano. Lights full up in front. -Blue limes in conservatory._ - -NOR. Thanks, awfully! (_R. of KATE, above her_) - -KATE. That's Mr. Selwyn's favourite--(_rising_)--the music's pretty, -but such stupid words. (_crosses down to C., NORMANTOWER follows her_) - -NOR. Yes, but you sing them with such an expression. - -KATE. Such an appropriate expression? - -_Enter SERVANTS, R.U.D., with coffee, etc., which they hand to KATE. -PRICE enters first, followed by SERVANT. The former carries large -salver with cups of coffee; the latter, sugar and milk on small -salver. They go down to back of sofa._ - -NOR. Yes, that's what I meant. Such an appropriate expression! - -KATE. (_laughing_) Of stupidity? (_goes to sofa_) - -NOR. No, no! That isn't what I meant. Oh dear, I never _can_ say what -I want to say, to you. - -KATE. Shall I assist you? - -NOR. If you only would! (_C.R. of sofa_) - -KATE. I mean to sugar. - -NOR. _I_ meant to sugar. - -KATE. Cream? - -NOR. Thanks awfully. (_KATE hands cup to NORMANTOWER, and takes -another herself, and sits on sofa, L. of it_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I _didn't_ mean sugar, but I _must_ agree with her. - -_SERVANTS offer coffee to TOM and then to MILDRED; they simply reverse -their attitudes, without taking further notice. Exeunt SERVANTS -R.U.D._ - -KATE. (_cup in hand_) Is that as you like it? - -NOR. (_seating himself by her_) This is just as I like it. So, it's -quite settled, you're going to stay here? (_on sofa_) - -KATE. Yes, I find I can't tear myself away from Ravenhurst--I'm a -fixture. - -NOR. I say! are you a landlord's or a tenant's fixture? - -KATE. Oh, I'm attached to the freehold--very much attached to it. - -NOR. That's a pity. I thought perhaps you were removable. - -KATE. What if I were? - -NOR. I should like to remove you, that's all. - -KATE. I thought you were a confirmed bachelor? - -NOR. That's just it. That's what makes it so jolly, I being a -confirmed bachelor, and you being a confirmed old maid---- - -KATE. _Old_ maid? - -NOR. I mean, you _will_ be an old maid--in time. - -KATE. You didn't say so. - -NOR. But I _meant,_ in time. So there's no danger. We can do what we -like. - -KATE. Of course, we can do what we like. - -NOR. We can talk together. - -KATE. We can walk together. - -NOR. We can sing together! - -KATE. Do you mean, in time? - -NOR. Miss Derwent, it was _you_ who were out of time yesterday. That -was a crotchet. - -KATE. Nay, it was a quaver. - -NOR. A crotchet. } (_rising, crossing to R. and putting - } _ad lib._ down cup on piano_) -KATE. A quaver. } (_rising and putting down cup on - table L. and then cross to R.C._) - -NOR. Here is the music--see. (_takes it from piano and comes to her -R.C._) - -_Enter BEATRICE, L.D., and sits unobserved, on sofa._ - -KATE. (_pointing to note_) What did I tell you? - -NOR. You said a quaver. - -KATE. No, I said a crotchet. - -NOR. Oh! - -KATE. Certainly, a crotchet. This is how it goes. (_takes the music, -crosses him, and sits at piano and sings one verse of a song_) - -NOR. (_enraptured_) Thanks--oh thanks, awfully. (_standing on her R._) - -BEA. Rather high for you, isn't it, my dear? (_both turn_) - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! (_turns and advances C._) - -KATE. (_rises_) I beg your pardon? - -BEA. Your voice is so charming, it is a pity to strain it. - -KATE. (_goes down R.C._) I wasn't aware I had an audience. I was -simply endeavouring to convince Lord Normantower that a crotchet is -not a quaver. I was not attempting to sing. - -BEA. My love, you are too modest. I never heard you sing better. -(_KATE grimaces aside_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I think, I'd better turn the conversation. (_Goes to R. -of sofa_) How is Philip, this evening? - -KATE. Yes, how is Mr. Selwyn? - -BEA. I'm glad to say, much stronger. - -NOR. That's good news. I was afraid, as Sir Peter did not dine with -us, your husband was worse. - -BEA. Sir Peter has been with him all the afternoon, and has announced -his intention of remaining till he has solved the mystery of Philip's -illness. It is really very kind of Sir Peter. - -KATE. Sir Peter is kindness itself. (_returns to piano, and sits_) - -BEA. You can imagine what a satisfaction it is to me, to know that my -husband is in such excellent care. - -NOR. But has he formed no opinion as to what is the matter with -Philip? - -BEA. He seems to think, it is nothing worse than an aggravated case of -dyspepsia, and he attaches the greatest importance to diet. He has -forbidden poor Philip almost everything. Sir Peter is a little -crotchety, but he is paying the greatest attention to the case. And -he's so clever! I am charmed with him. (_NORMANTOWER crosses to piano, -and stands R. of KATE who plays softly. TOM rises, crosses to MILDRED -and takes her hand. She rises, and they advance down a step R.C._) - -TOM. (_aside to MILDRED_) Could you die, Mildred? - -MIL. I want to, Tom. - -TOM. Then let's die together! - -MIL. Yes--but how? - -TOM. I don't know. That's the worst of me. I'm so beastly ignorant. - -MIL. There's a pond at the bottom of the garden. - -TOM. Is there? - -MIL. Six feet deep. - -TOM. Let's go at once. - -MIL. And throw ourselves in? - -TOM. We'll have a look at it first. (_exit with MILDRED R.C. to R._) - -(_PHILIP heard off L. KATE stops playing._) - -KATE. Surely that's Mr. Selwyn! (_BEATRICE rises and goes across up to -opening R.C., following TOM and MILDRED_) - -(_SIR PETER heard off L._) - -NOR. Here they are, both of them. - -_Enter PHILIP, followed by SIR PETER, L.D. SIR PETER goes down L., -puts snuff-box on mantel, and stands with back to fire; PHILIP comes -to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets him._ - -KATE. You, Mr. Selwyn. Then you're better! - -PHIL. Yes--feeling another man. I've even been attending to business, -with my solicitor. (_KATE turns away up to R.C._) I must admit, Sir -Peter's treatment is justified by the result, but I can't say I -altogether relish it. (_to NORMANTOWER_) What do you think he's giving -me? (_down, front of sofa_) - -NOR. What? (_advances to C._) - -PHIL. Arsenic. (_sitting on sofa_) - -NOR. Gracious me! (_BEATRICE comes down, and sits R. by piano_) - -KATE. (_comes down, L. of BEATRICE_) Arsenic! That's nothing! Many -ladies take it. - -NOR. Ladies take arsenic! (_turning to KATE_) - -KATE. Don't they, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. I should hope not, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. _You_ never heard of such a thing, of course? - -NOR. What do they take it for? - -SIR P. My dear young gentleman, have you lived six and twenty years -without discovering that the female complexion is usually an -artificial product? - -NOR. Well, I know a powder-puff when I see one, but arsenic! (_turns -up a little C. with KATE_) - -SIR P. Pooh! a common drug! - -BEA. Miss Derwent, so sorry to trouble you--but the night dews are -falling, and Mildred has gone out without a shawl. - -KATE. I'll get one at once. (_exit, R., upper door_) - -NOR. Yes--we'll get one at once. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -(_Directly NORMANTOWER is off, PRICE and SERVANT re-enter, R.U.D., -with coffee, which they offer to BEATRICE, who is sitting R. by -piano._) - -PHIL. I must say, I agree with Normantower. When you told me what you -were giving me, it was rather a shock even to me, and it nearly -frightened poor Beatrice out of her life. - -BEA. Philip, don't speak of it. (_takes coffee_) Don't you remember -what happened? - -PHIL. You broke a glass. - -BEA. And breaking glass is so unlucky. - -(_SERVANTS cross and offer coffee to PHILIP, who takes a cup without -milk and sugar, SIR PETER not noticing. They then pass behind to SIR -PETER, who takes coffee. PRICE clears KATE'S cup from the table, then -crosses, followed by SERVANT and exeunt R.U.D._) - -PHIL. Mousey, you'll make Sir Peter laugh at you. (_NORMANTOWER talks -to KATE_) - -SIR P. Why should I? - -PHIL. Surely _you_ don't believe in luck? (_takes coffee_) - -SIR P. Everybody believes in luck, except fools, who attribute their -successes to their merits. My experience teaches me differently. I -know, one may study a case for a week, and master it only by -accident--as I have mastered yours. (_exeunt SERVANTS_) - -BEA. (_rises_) You've mastered Philip's? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. Yes. As I suspected. Liver. - -BEA. Ah! Then, after all, it is only dyspepsia? - -SIR P. (L.) _Only_ dyspepsia, madam! What's the word suffering -from?--vice--crime--drink--poverty? What are they all? Indigestion. - -PHIL. My wife means, nothing dangerous--one can hardly die of -dyspepsia. - -SIR P. Sir, one can die of anything. If you only knew the number of -things one can die of, you'd wonder any of us are alive. (_PHILIP -laughs and lifts his cup to drink_) What have you there? (_going up to -back of table_) - -PHIL. Only some coffee. - -SIR P. Put it down, sir, instantly. (_hand on table_) - -BEA. Mayn't he have coffee, doctor? - -SIR P. (_crosses behind sofa to C._) Coffee! Most indigestible! Have I -not given my orders? He is to taste nothing more to-day, except one -dose of medicine before going to bed. (_BEATRICE goes to piano, puts -her cup down and picks up her fan_) - -PHIL. Another dose, to-night? - -SIR P. One more; it's most important. (_rises_) - -BEA. Is Mr. Merivale still here? (_at piano_) - -PHIL. Oh no, he went some time ago. - -BEA. (_quickly_) Then have you made the will? - -PHIL. Not yet. (_SIR PETER watches BEATRICE closely_) Merivale insists -on making his own inquiries before taking any other steps in the -matter. If Sir Peter's information is confirmed, he will accept my -instructions. I am to see him again at twelve o'clock to-morrow. - -BEA. Twelve o'clock? - -SIR P. Now you must rest. You've had a trying day (_hand on PHILIP's -shoulder_) (_PHILIP rises and stands back to audience_) - -BEA. (_BEATRICE advances to SIR PETER_) You needn't trouble, doctor. -_I_ will go with Philip. - -SIR P. Thank you--it is no trouble. Come, my boy. (_PHILIP takes his -R. arm, and they go up_) - -PHIL. (_up L.C._) How can I repay you for all your attention? - -SIR P. By obeying me to the letter. Diet's the great thing; and the -less the better. Eat nothing--drink nothing. - -PHIL. But one dose of medicine. - -SIR P. Just one more. (_exit with PHILIP, L.U.D., music in orchestra_) - -BEA. (_behind sofa, R. of it_) One more! My last chance--and I dare -not take it. At twelve o'clock to-morrow, all I have worked for, all I -have schemed for, all I have married for, slips through my fingers. -(_gets front of sofa_) And I can do nothing! No, it is too dangerous; -and if I stop now, I am safe enough. But what is safety worth? Tied to -my husband for his life, and at his death, a pauper! Whilst she--_she_ -will be the Countess of Normantower! Unless--unless--(_sits on sofa -smiling to herself_). He doesn't know that she is Philip's sister. It -is arranged it shall be kept a secret. Then, why is Philip leaving her -his fortune? If I could make him think there was another reason. He is -in love, and love is always jealous. If I could only sow a doubt -between them. Countess of Normantower! What I have thrown away! -(_music stops_) - -_Re-enter NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. (_goes to C._) It's all right. We've found the shawl. - -BEA. Did it take two to find it? - -NOR. It took two to look for it. Miss Derwent looked everywhere for -the shawl, and I looked everywhere for Miss Derwent. - -BEA. You are great friends. - -NOR. Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. I like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort. - -BEA. I thought you hated all women. - -NOR. On the contrary, I am never so happy as in the society of ladies. - -BEA. You, who are always raving against marriage. - -NOR. That's the reason. To marry is to devote oneself to an -individual; whilst a bachelor can devote himself to the sex. Besides, -I have to study economy--and it comes cheaper on taking a quantity. - -BEA. Perhaps, you are right. Marriage is a terrible lottery. - -NOR. You should be thankful you have drawn a prize. - -BEA. Don't mock me. - -NOR. I'm sure you couldn't have a better husband than Philip. He's one -of the best fellows in the world. - -BEA. Ah! there's only one prize--to a woman. - -NOR. (_aside_) She means me. (_two steps away_) - -BEA. All the rest are blanks. And sometimes worse than blanks. - -NOR. (_aside_) This is damn'd awkward! (_a further movement R.C._) - -BEA. (_rises_) Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation which I have -had no opportunity of giving you. Your time is so much occupied, and -we are so seldom alone. - -NOR. (_aside, R.C._) I wish somebody'd come! - -BEA. (C.) When you first came to Ravenhurst, I made what must have -seemed a very strange avowal. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn, I have tried to forget it, and I hope you will -assist me. And the best way to forget it, is not to say anything about -it. - -BEA. I have tried to be silent--but in justice to myself, I must -speak. You know my marriage was not my own wish; but having married, -do me the justice to believe I would have been a true and loyal wife, -if Philip had been all you think he is. - -NOR. Philip? - -BEA. I have accepted my lot without a murmur. Even now, my only wish -is that you should not think too harshly of my indiscretion; but at -the sight of you, the old times came back so vividly, that words -sprang to my lips which I should not have spoken, even under such -provocation as mine. - -NOR. I have known Philip nearly all my life, and this is the first -breath I ever heard against him. I can't help thinking you must be -mistaken. - -BEA. Think so--by all means think so! I do not ask for pity or for -sympathy. I only said so much in self-defence. Now I have done. (_goes -to L._) - -NOR. (_aside_) Thank goodness! - -BEA. But you are quite right to remain a bachelor. Marriage is a -mistake. (_sitting in easy chair L._) - -NOR. (_goes to L.C._) There are two ways of looking at it; and, after -all, one ought to see both sides. I've looked at one for so long, I'm -seriously thinking of taking a turn at the other. (_sits on sofa_) - -BEA. You contemplate being married? - -NOR. Well, I have had some thoughts of it. (_toying with BEATRICE'S -fan which she has left on sofa_) - -BEA. Whom shall I have the pleasure of congratulating? - -NOR. Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked her yet--at least, not -properly. I'm sort of--feeling my way. - -BEA. I don't think you need fear. - -NOR. D'you think she'll have me--really! - -BEA. Of course, I don't know who the lady is. - -NOR. Oh, yes you do, Miss Derwent. - -BEA. (_rises suddenly_) Miss Derwent? - -NOR. Yes, of course. You must have seen I'm awfully gone on her. - -BEA. And you propose to marry her. - -NOR. Well I should like to. - -BEA. (_drops back into seat_) What am I to say? - -NOR. What do you mean? - -BEA. Nothing. I only meant--rather a mésalliance, isn't it? - -NOR. I don't see that at all. I'm no great catch. I'm as poor as a -church mouse. - -BEA. A coronet is something. - -NOR. Pooh! What's a coronet? A thing they stick about on hansom cabs. -Sixpence a mile. - -BEA. And don't you owe a duty to your family? - -NOR. My family owe a great deal more to me, but there's precious -little chance of their stumping up. - -BEA. (_rises_) Let me see. How long have you known Miss Derwent? -(_front of table_) - -NOR. About a week. (_R. end of sofa, facing her_) - -BEA. And don't you think it's dangerous, to marry on so short an -acquaintance? - -NOR. To marry anybody else, it would be. Not to marry _her._ - -BEA. Have you told Philip? - -NOR. No--what's _he_ to do with it? - -BEA. (_crosses to R.C._) Nothing, of course! No, nothing. Why should I -tell you! (_hand on chair L. of piano_) Why should I publish my own -humiliation? And yet, we are such old friends, how can I stand by, and -see your whole life ruined? No! Lord Normantower, this marriage is -impossible. (_goes towards LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_rises_) I don't see that at all. - -BEA. You are in love, and blind! Has it never struck you? Why is Miss -Derwent here? - -NOR. Isn't she Mildred's governess? - -BEA. Mildred requires no governess. - -NOR. Well, her companion--yours. - -BEA. Mine! _My_ companion! Yes, you are right there. Yes, my -companion--in my husband's heart. (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. Surely, you cannot mean--(_follows a step_) - -BEA. My rival! Yes! I mean, that Philip is her lover. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. Now I have told you my secret, and I leave it to your honour to -respect it. - -NOR. You accuse Miss Derwent--you accuse your husband---- - -BEA. Yes, I accuse them both. You know what happened this morning; -Miss Derwent was going away, and my husband insisted on her remaining; -but you don't know what happened this afternoon. So mad is Philip's -infatuation that he is even making a new will, bequeathing her every -shilling he possesses, leaving me an outcast and a beggar. - -_SIR PETER appears, L.D.--he observes them talking and goes into -conservatory, L.C._ - -NOR. Surely you are mistaken. (_backing a step_) - -BEA. I am _not_ mistaken! Sir Peter knows of this will. He will tell -you what I say is the truth. But not a word about my secret? I leave -that to your honour. (_crosses and goes up C. to L.C._) - -NOR. (_aside_) I wish she wouldn't leave my honour legacies. (_turns -up to opening, R.C._) - -_SIR PETER comes out from conservatory, L.C., intercepting BEATRICE as -she goes to door, L._ - -SIR P. Where are you going? - -BEA. Only to sit with Philip. (_going L._) - -SIR P. (_blocking the way_) He is lying down, and must on no account -be disturbed. - -BEA. Surely a wife---- - -SIR P. Is the most likely person to disturb her husband. - -BEA. (_pushing past, viciously_) Sir Peter, I _will_ see him! (_exit, -L.D._) - -SIR P. (_aside, looking after her_) But you can't. (_produces key, -looks at it and replaces it in his pocket, then goes down L., and -leans on mantel, on the opposite side of stage to LORD NORMAN- -TOWER--both lost in thought_) - -NOR. (_aside, leaning against column, R.C._) How can I ask Sir Peter? -How can I say, has Selwyn made a will, leaving his wife a beggar? I -know what his answer would be. "Sir, what the devil has that to do -with you?" And yet it has a lot to do with me. I regard Miss Derwent's -reputation as my own, and I'm not going to have aspersions cast on it. -If I could clear things up, I might be able to convince Mrs. Selwyn of -her mistake. But how can I broach the subject? It's a teazer. (_sits -up, R.C., in alcove_) - -SIR P. (_sits L., aside_) Now, what am I to do? Give her a chance, or -nail her to the counter? If I gave her a chance, would she take it? -Not she! She would appeal to her husband--he would believe her -implicitly and kick me out of the house--there would be an end of -_me_--and there would be an end of _him._ I must convict her--there's -no alternative. But how? If she plays any tricks to-night, I have her. -But if she doesn't? (_blows his nose_) She has _me!_ Well, the first -thing to be done is, to make things safe for the night. - -NOR. (_aside, rises and comes down a little_) I have it! Sir Peter -knows I'm poor--I'll tell him I have thoughts of marrying, but I must -marry money. I will inquire about Miss Derwent's circumstances--say, -I've heard a rumour. Then I shall find out all about this will. Sir -Peter will think I'm an awful cad, but what does it matter what Sir -Peter thinks? Upon my word, statesmanship _is_ hereditary, after all. -I feel a regular Machiavelli! (_crosses to SIR PETER, aloud_) Sir -Peter! May I have a word with you? (_R. of table_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) How long are you likely to be? - -NOR. Only a second. - -SIR P. That means half-an-hour. I limit my consultations to ten -minutes. - -NOR. Ten minutes, then. - -SIR P. Go on. - -_Re-enter KATE, R.C. from R., unobserved, stops short on seeing them._ - -NOR. (_sits on sofa_) It is about Miss Derwent. - -SIR P. Oh, Miss Derwent! (_SIR PETER rises, takes snuff-box on -mantel--and sits again L._) - -KATE. (_aside, smiling_) He's talking about me. I should like to know -what he thinks of me. It's a mean thing to do--but I'll do it--just -for fun. (_retires into conservatory, and crosses, going off L.U.E._) - -SIR P. Well, sir. - -NOR. You know Miss Derwent very well, I think? - -SIR P. Very well indeed--go on! (_leaning back_) - -NOR. She's all right, isn't she? - -SIR P. All right? (_starting forward_) - -NOR. I mean, there isn't a screw loose anywhere? - -SIR P. Screw loose? - -NOR. You know, I have some thoughts of marrying. - -SIR P. Her! - -NOR. Well, yes, of marrying _her._ - -SIR P. (_rises_) Then marry her, and don't bother me about it. - -NOR. But I'm as poor as a rat, and I can't afford---- - -SIR P. Then, _don't_ marry her. (_crosses R.C._) - -NOR. (_rises and follows SIR PETER_) But it has reached my ears, that -Selwyn's going to leave her everything. (_SIR PETER pricks up his -ears_) If that is really so, it would suit my book to a T; and I -thought you might know something about it. - -SIR P. Well, sir? - -NOR. And tell me. - -SIR P. In what capacity? As a physician? - -NOR. No--as a friend. - -SIR P. As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence? - -NOR. No--as _my_ friend. - -SIR P. But I am _not_ your friend. - -NOR. Well, as between two men of the world. Miss Derwent's an awfully -nice girl, but you know, one must look after the dibs. - -SIR P. Sir, I may be a man of the world, or I may not, but I do not -hold consultations in that capacity. Good evening. (_going R._) - -NOR. Sir Peter! One moment! (_following. Exit SIR PETER, followed by -NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. KATE staggers from conservatory, L.C., and drops -into sofa, the picture of desolation._) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. Stops short on seeing KATE._ - -NOR. (R.C.) There she is. (_stands looking at KATE_) - -KATE. (_giving her eyes a final wipe and rising, aside_) I don't care. -(_pockets handkerchief_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, you've been crying. Something's the -matter. - -KATE. Don't trouble about _me._ _I'm_ "all right." - -NOR. "All right?" (_aside_) Do sit down! - -KATE. Thanks, I prefer to stand. - -NOR. But I don't like you to stand. - -KATE. I'm sorry if my attitude is not sufficiently elegant to satisfy -your lordship's fastidious taste. - -NOR. Miss Derwent! - -KATE. But I was not born graceful. I don't think I was properly -finished off. Nature has left "a screw loose" somewhere. (_crosses -R._) - -NOR. (C.) "A screw loose?" (_nonplussed_) - -KATE. What perplexes your lordship? (_sits R. by piano_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, tell me--why did you ever want to -leave Ravenhurst? Don't think me impertinent. I have a reason for -asking. - -KATE. And I had a reason for leaving. - -NOR. Were you uncomfortable? - -KATE. Oh dear, no! Mr. Selwyn has always insisted on my being treated -with every consideration. - -NOR. Ah! Philip thinks a lot of _you,_ doesn't he? - -KATE. I think, he likes me. I don't know about "a lot." - -NOR. Perhaps you felt yourself in rather a false position? - -KATE. (_rises_) What do you mean? - -NOR. Nothing--I only meant--I don't know what I meant. - -KATE. Perhaps I thought, that I might _better_ my position. - -NOR. But if you were so comfortable---- - -KATE. Comfort isn't everything. Ravenhurst's an awfully nice place: -but--(_facing him_) "You know, one must look after the dibs." - -NOR. (_stands dumbfounded--pause_) Then, you heard my conversation -with Sir Peter? - -KATE. Every word of it. - -NOR. Well, it serves me right. (_goes down to C._) - -KATE. (_advances towards him_) And me as well--for listening--but I'm -glad I did. Now, I know what you are, and what you want. You are for -sale! Heart, soul, mind, body and estate--without reserve, and open to -all bidders. I am only a governess--I have no money to buy you, and I -don't _want_ to buy you! Knock yourself down to anyone you please! -What do _I_ care? (_a step or two away_) - -NOR. Hear me, one moment. I have been misled. (_follows_) - -KATE. (_turns sharply on him_) And so have I. I thought, at last, that -I had met a _man!_--A man whom I could love---- - -NOR. Miss Derwent! (_enraptured_) - -KATE. Whom I could honour--whom I could even obey! - -NOR. Kate! (_holds out his hands_) - -KATE. (_smacks his hands down and draws back up stage, R.C., a step; -during speech, she backs towards R.U.D._) Don't call me "Kate." It -wasn't _you._ It was another man altogether--a creature of my -fancy--whom I had met in dreams--but whom I loved--with such a love as -never entered into your sordid soul--for whom I would have died--for -whom I would have worked, toiled, slaved, from morning until -night--who possessed the whole heart of a woman who has never loved -before, but who has cast it from him and has broken it! (_at door; -exit, R.U.D._) - -NOR. My last appearance as Machiavelli! (_goes to L._) - -_Re-enter TOM moodily, R.C. from R._ - -TOM. (_comes down C._) I don't like the look of the pond. - -NOR. What pond? What are you talking about? - -TOM. Oh, by the bye, I haven't told you what we're going to do. - -NOR. Who's going to do? - -TOM. Why, me and Mildred. Drown ourselves. At least we _were_ going to -drown ourselves, until we saw the pond. Now, we are going to think of -something else. - -NOR. (_goes to TOM_) Look here, Tom! it's quite time little boys were -in bed. You'll have plenty of time to-morrow. - -TOM. Ah! You don't know what it is, to love--and get the key of the -street! - -NOR. Don't I? I've got it. - -TOM. _You've_ got it, Ned? - -NOR. Miss Derwent has just given it me. - -TOM. I say, let's drown one another! You go first! (_puts NORMANTOWER -across up towards R.U.D._) - -NOR. No, thank you, Tom. I'll go and make things up. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., lost in thought, he goes up a little, -R.C._ - -TOM. (_down C., turning--seeing SIR PETER_) Sir Peter--the very man--I -say, Sir Peter! (_turns up to SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. Aren't you a doctor? - -SIR P. I had the honour to belong to the medical profession before you -were born. - -TOM. A lot of things seem to have happened before I was born--and -everybody takes care to let me know it. - -SIR P. It is impossible to know too much. - -TOM. Then, tell me. What's the pleasantest way of committing suicide? - -SIR P. Hem! The question is scarcely usual. I regret to say, the -etiquette of my profession precludes me from replying. (_mock bow. -Goes up C._) - -TOM. Pompous old ass! I don't believe he knows. (_goes to L.C._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED, R.U.D., with an open book in her hand._ - -MIL. Tom, Tom! (_comes down R.C._) - -TOM. What's that you've got? - -MIL. "Kennedy on Poisons." (_reading from book. SIR PETER listens_) I -found it in Miss Derwent's dressing-room. - -TOM. Just what we wanted--let me have a look. - -SIR P. (_advancing_) Give me that book. (_between them. MILDRED draws -book away_) - -TOM. But it's not hers--it's---- - -SIR P. (_peremptorily_) Give that book to me. (_MILDRED gives it him_) -How dare you take this from Miss Derwent's dressing-room? - -MIL. (_begins to cry_) I didn't know that I was doing wrong. Mousey is -always at Miss Derwent's bookcase. - -TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn! Is it yours? (_facing -him boldly_) - -SIR P. By force of arms. - -TOM. Force is not argument. - -SIR P. (_in a voice of thunder_) Go away, boy, go! (_points R. TOM -collapses, crosses to MILDRED, and exit with MILDRED R.I.D. quickly_) - -SIR P. (sits on sofa) "Kennedy--Poisons"--(_opens fly-leaf_) "Kate -Derwent--from her friend, the Author--Guy's Hospital, 17th April, -1888." Kennedy's pet lamb! Gives it right and left, and not got -through the first edition yet. Nothing remarkable in that. But why -does it open at arsenic? "Mousey is always at Miss Derwent's -book-case." - -_Re-enter PRICE, R.I.D._ - -PRI. Mr. Learoyd, the chemist, is here, sir. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'll see him at once. (_PRICE is going. SIR PETER -goes to him_) Stop--give this key to your mistress, with my -compliments. (_gives PRICE the key_) You'll find her in her room. -(_crosses and exit R.I.D._) - -_PRICE crosses and knocks at door L. and withdraws to L.C. up stage. -Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle and -wine-glass in her hand._ - -BEA. What is it? - -PRI. Sir Peter told me to give you this, madam, with his compliments. -(_gives key and goes R. towards upper door_) - -BEA. (_aside_) The key! (_goes down L. Aloud_) Price! I am going to -bed. I shall not want Johnson. Put all the lights out, lock the outer -door of the conservatory, and make up the house. - -PRI. Yes, madam, but Sir Peter---- - -BEA. Do as I tell you. - -_Music in orchestra. BEATRICE has put medicine and glass on table, and -stands in front of table, deep in thought. PRICE puts out lamp on -piano, then the one in conservatory, lower lights, then disappears -R.U.E. A lock is heard to turn. Re-enter PRICE, R.C., he goes to -R.U.D._ - -PRI. Good-night, madam. - -BEA. Good-night. (_exit PRICE. BEATRICE crosses and locks R.U.D. Up -R.C., looking at key_) Then, he does not suspect me! When I found -Philip's door locked, I was half afraid. Why am I such a coward?--Is -he with Philip? (_exit L., music swells. Re-enter L._) No! Philip is -fast asleep. Can he be watching? (_goes down to R.I.D._) No! (_opens -door R., looks out, then shuts and locks it_) Good night, Sir Peter! -pleasant dreams to you! (_stands looking at the key_) He suspects -nothing. (_goes to L.C., R. of table. Produces medicine bottle and -glass and pours out a dose_) It is a great temptation! (_produces -phial from bosom_) Strange! how this fascinates me! With my life at -stake, I scarcely can resist it. It possesses me! But, I suppose, I -dare not. (_music dies away, knock at door R._) Who can that be? -(_second knock, aloud_) Who's there? - -SIR P. (_off_) It's I--Sir Peter Lund! (_she puts away the phial_) - -BEA. What an escape! (_unlocks the door and smiles sweetly_) Come in, -Sir Peter. (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., leaving door ajar and holding -the book behind his back_) I was just getting Philip's medicine. -(_goes to L., crossing behind sofa and table_) - -SIR P. (R.C.) So I see. (_aside_) It's all right. I'm in time--(_puts -book down on piano_) - -BEA. I scarcely expected to see you again to-night. Do you want -Philip? (_on knees, mending fire_) - -SIR P. No, Mrs. Selwyn, it is you I want. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. Me? - -SIR P. I have something of the greatest importance to tell you. First, -let me make sure that my patient cannot overhear us. (_goes towards -L.D., back of sofa_) - -BEA. (_rises_) He was asleep just now. (_goes up L. to door_) - -SIR P. But he may have awakened. - -BEA. Shall I see? - -SIR P. Thank you. (_she goes L. and exits. SIR PETER watches her off, -then goes to back of table and tastes the medicine in the glass, he -puts it down, turns quickly, back to door L. signals towards door R., -which he has left ajar; enter KATE, R.I.D._) Into there! (_pointing to -conservatory_) Quick! (_off R.C._) - -KATE. But what am I to do? Why have you brought me here? (_going up -R.C., SIR PETER L. of her_) - -SIR P. Keep your ears open, and you'll understand. (_exit KATE into -conservatory, R., KATE in conservatory upsets a pot_) That's her -confounded train. - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., comes down L. to L.C._ - -BEA. What was that noise? - -SIR P. (_at door of conservatory_) Ten thousand pardons: I've upset a -flowerpot. (_comes down to C._) - -BEA. You've been in the conservatory? - -SIR P. Yes--to make sure that nobody was listening. In a case like -this, one cannot be too careful. - -BEA. Sir Peter, you alarm me. What dreadful secret are you going to -tell me? (_goes to sofa_) - -SIR P. (_R. of her_) Mrs. Selwyn, you are a woman of strong nerves, -and you can bear a shock. - -BEA. I think so. - -SIR P. Well, I'm going to give you one--I've found it! - -BEA. What? - -SIR P. The serpent. - -BEA. The serpent? - -SIR P. Which Mr. Selwyn said did not exist, but the existence of which -I suspected from the first. - -BEA. A serpent in Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. And a remarkably fine specimen, it turns out to be. Your -husband is being poisoned. (_BEATRICE taken off her guard, reels, and -sinks on sofa_) I can quite understand your emotion. - -BEA. Poisoned? - -SIR P. By arsenic, administered in his medicine. - -BEA. But you put it there yourself. You told him, you were giving him -arsenic. - -SIR P. I was not. (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_) I did not -prescribe arsenic. - -BEA. Might not the chemist--by mistake---- - -SIR P. I've seen him, and he assures me there was no mistake. Besides, -though there was arsenic in the glass, there was _none in the bottle._ -While you were all having your dinner, I took the liberty of analysing -_that._ Mr. Selwyn is now in such a condition that the next dose may -be fatal. The first thing to be done is, to protect his life. I have -not left him since morning; but at the precise moment when the -criminal, whoever it is, will probably administer the poison, I shall -not be there to prevent it, because that moment will be when he takes -the final dose of physic which I have ordered him, just before going -to bed. - -BEA. And knowing this, you have ordered it? - -SIR P. With the object of detecting the culprit. Here I want your -assistance. We must lay our plans carefully; for whoever is doing -this, she is a very clever woman. - -BEA. (_rises_) Woman! Then, you suspect--(_bell ready_) - -SIR P. (_business_) Miss Derwent. (_BEATRICE starts_) What was that? -(_no noise heard_) - -BEA. (_astonished_) Miss _Derwent!_ - -SIR P. I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory. - -BEA. No one is there. The doors have been locked. - -SIR P. Someone may have opened them. Let us make sure. (_goes into the -conservatory R.C., disappears R., re-enters in a moment and comes down -to C._) - -BEA. Miss Derwent! (_down stage front of sofa_) - -SIR P. (_returning_) Only the flower pot--caught in a plant, which -must have given way. (_gets R. of sofa_) - -BEA. Well? You were saying---- - -SIR P. I suspect Miss Derwent--She has, as humanity goes, a powerful -incentive to this crime. On Mr. Selwyn's death, she expects to come -into a large fortune. - -BEA. Not until he has made a will in her favour. - -SIR P. He said he would make it to-day. She heard him say so, and she -knows that he has seen his solicitor. - -BEA. (_sits on sofa_) Yes, but my husband has been ill some weeks. -Miss Derwent had nothing to gain by his death until this will was -made. - -SIR P. (_sitting R. of her_) Therefore, she has not killed him. The -process has been admirably timed. She began to compass his death when -she had nothing to gain by it, and therefore was not open to -suspicion; and on the point of its consummation, adroitly threw -herself upon his generosity. You must admit the ingenuity of the -scheme. - -BEA. But the evidence? - -SIR P. That is where you must help me. It is incomplete. But it is -obvious enough, the criminal, whoever it is, is familiar with the -properties of arsenic, which are not so simple as is commonly -supposed. A bungler would have killed him long ago; but Miss Derwent -is half a doctor. She was at Guy's for years. She is a particular -friend of Dr. Kennedy's--and, strongest evidence of all, his book on -toxicology is here--(_rises, crosses to piano, takes book, and -recrosses to back of sofa, R. of it_) inscribed with her name--and has -evidently been considerably studied. (_gives book to BEATRICE_) -Especially, one chapter. - -BEA. Which is that? - -SIR P. Open it. - -BEA. "Arsenic"! - -SIR P. Look at the title page. - -BEA. "Kate Derwent--from her friend, the Author." - -SIR P. (_takes book again_) I submit that the case against her is one -of the gravest suspicion (_crosses to back of table, L. of it_) - -BEA. Then you accuse your friend and protégée. - -SIR P. Science has no friendships. _Someone_ is poisoning your -husband. I suspect Miss Derwent. (_KATE appears momentarily R.C._) -Accept my theory or reject it--(_raises his voice, to make sure KATE -can hear him_) _Watch that glass!_ If anybody touches it---- - -BEA. Who can, but me! When you have gone, and I have locked the door, -no one can get into this room to-night. Where is this poison coming -from? - -SIR P. Wherever it comes from, I know where it goes; into that glass. -Therefore, please, _watch the glass!_ If anybody tampers with it, ring -this bell. (_indicates bell pull, going towards it up R._) - -BEA. (_rises_) What, the alarm-bell? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. It will rouse the house. A miscreant will be brought to -justice, and your husband's life will be saved. (_comes down R.C._) - -BEA. If no one touches it? - -SIR P. He is safe for to-night, at any rate. Madam, I have the honour -to wish you a very good evening. (_exit, R.I.D._) - -_Music in orchestra._ - -BEA. (_locks door after him, and breaks into a low, hollow laugh_) -Thank you, Sir Peter! thank you very much! (_goes to C._) The case you -have begun, I will complete. Now, I can not only save myself, but -triumph! If I convict Miss Derwent of this crime, the will must be -abandoned. (_gets R. of table, KATE appears R.C., watching her_) It is -worth some risk! I can but fail: and if I do--(_produces phial, and -pours the contents into the medicine, laughing_) I'll make this strong -enough. There! Now to bring Miss Derwent. I will say Philip's dying, -and has asked to see her. Then I will rouse the house, and she shall -be found here--alone with this! (_goes to R.C._) Sir Peter will -corroborate me, Philip will be convinced, and my Lord Normantower--ha, -ha!--can marry her! Thank you, Sir Peter, thank you! (_unlocks door, -and exit, R.I.D._) - -KATE. Oh! (_in opening, R.C._) - -PHIL. (_off L._) Beatrice! - -KATE. My brother's voice--if I were found here now! - -PHIL. (_nearer_) Beatrice! - -(_KATE retreats out of sight, R._) - -_Enter PHILIP, L.D._ (_PHILIP goes down L. to L.C._) - -PHIL. Not here? Where can she be? (_watch_) Good gracious, I've been -asleep for nearly three hours. (_yawning_) Well, I suppose she won't -be very long; (_KATE appears again, watching PHILIP, who sits on -sofa_) Ah, there's the medicine! That last dose, which old Lund said -was so particular. I'd forgotten all about it. But Mousey hadn't. She -forgets nothing--nothing! (_rises_) Well, the sooner I take it, the -sooner it's over. (_about to drink_) - -KATE. (_rushing forward_) Philip! Stop! (_music stops_) - -PHIL. Kate? (_sets down the glass_) - -KATE. It's poison! (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Poison? - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R.I.D._ - -KATE. Yes! (_hysterically_) She is killing you! - -PHIL. (_confounded_) Who? - -KATE. Beatrice! (_PHILIP drops into sofa_) Your wife! (_sobs at his -feet. PHILIP sits as if stunned. BEATRICE stands, surveying them. -Pause. BEATRICE rings the alarm bell--KATE springs to her feet. -Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D. KATE goes up to C., PHILIP rises and goes -L. Lights worked up imperceptibly_) - -SIR P. Who rang the bell? (_crosses to R. of table_) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D._ - -BEA. _I_ rang! - -NOR. (R.C.) What is the matter? - -BEA. Sir Peter, you were right. This girl is poisoning my husband. -(_comes down to C._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! (_goes to fire, and leans on mantel_) - -KATE. Oh! - -SIR P. Let Mrs. Selwyn speak. (_calmly tests the medicine by finger -and gets to back to table, placing glass down there_) - -BEA. You asked me to watch, and I have watched. I found her hidden -here. My husband was about to drink this stuff---- - -PHIL. When she prevented me---- - -BEA. Because, of course, she heard my conversation with Sir Peter. -Knowing she was suspected, she has sought to cast this horrible -suspicion upon _me!_ - -KATE. Philip--I saw her! - -BEA. Since I poured out that draught, I have not touched it. - -KATE. Oh! (_retreating up L.C._) - -BEA. If it is poisoned--_she_ has poisoned it. - -SIR P. But when? Besides, you would have seen her--you were watching. -This was not poisoned, when I left the room. - -BEA. It _must_ have been! - -SIR P. I think not--and I tested it. (_advances to C., behind sofa_) - -BEA. I didn't see you. - -SIR P. No--I took care you shouldn't. (_pause_) - -BEA. You suspected _me!_ - -SIR P. From the beginning. - -BEA. This is a plot to ruin me! (_BEATRICE crosses to PHILIP who -disregards her. SIR PETER goes to R.C., L. of LORD NORMANTOWER_) -Philip, _you_ don't believe this hideous charge? (_PHILIP makes no -movement--she draws back, up L. to back of table, and stands at bay_) -What was Miss Derwent doing in the room? If she is innocent, why was -she _hiding_ here? - -SIR P. Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter. (_BEATRICE -confronts SIR PETER_) _I_ brought Miss Derwent here. (_going up to C., -KATE comes to him_) - -BEA. _You_ brought her--when? - -SIR P. When _you_ were in the other room, naturally. I took the -liberty of putting her into the conservatory, where, you will -remember, she had the misfortune to upset a flower-pot. - -BEA. I understand. You laid a trap for me? - -SIR P. I took that liberty. - -BEA. And you say, this is poisoned? - -SIR P. I should think, fatally. - -BEA. If I am guilty, why do I not get rid of it? You have given me -plenty of opportunity. - -SIR P. For a very excellent reason. Because you are quite clever -enough to know, that to do so would be an admission of your crime. - -BEA. I am not guilty, and this (_takes up glass_) is not poison. - -SIR P. Sorry I am to contradict you---- - -BEA. See! I will prove it! (_drinks the poison and throws glass down -behind her, it smashes. Movement from SIR PETER, NORMANTOWER and -PHILIP_) - -SIR P. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. You are too late, Sir Peter. (_goes up_) Now--good night to all -of you. (_curtseying. Exit L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) What was the object? (_crosses to C. As NORMANTOWER -crosses he holds out his hand to KATE, which she accepts, KATE being -L. of him, R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Normantower, Kate is my sister. The fortune which I have enjoyed -for years is hers, and I was anxious to restore it. The object was, to -prevent me. (_music in orchestra_) Oh, Kate, my heart is broken! -(_KATE goes to R. of PHILIP and kneels_) - -KATE. But time will heal it, Philip; for your heart is good; goodness -and happiness are not strangers long. - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, L.D._ - -PHIL. Only to think, this woman is my wife! - -SIR P. (_gently laying his hand on PHILIP'S shoulder_) But not for -long. And she is better dead! - -MUSIC FORTE. - -Moderate Curtain. - -_Time_ (_Act_) _forty-two minutes. Time for whole, including waits, -two hours, six minutes._ - - -Transcriber's Note - -This transcription is based on scanned images posted by Google from a -copy in the Harvard Library: - -nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.FIG:002663452 - -Note that the Google scans are included in a set of four Sydney Grundy -plays published by Samuel French posted under the title, _A Fool's -Paradise._ Based on how the Harvard Library catalogs the individual -copies, I assume Google combined the different scans into a single -document. _A Fool's Paradise_ is the first play in the set. - -French's Acting Editions from the nineteenth century tend to have -minor editorial inconsistencies and errors such as missing and -inverted letters, missing and incorrect punctuation marks, and -spelling errors. In addition, errors were introduced in the printing -process, depending on the condition and inking of the plates. Thus, -for example, it is at times difficult to determine whether a certain -letter is an "c," "e," or "o" or whether a certain punctuation mark is -a period or a comma. Where context made the choice obvious, the -obvious reading was given the benefit of the doubt without comment. - -The following changes were noted: - -- Throughout the text, all abbreviations in the stage directions for -stage position, entrances, and exits (e.g.,"R.I.D.") have been made -consistent so that there is no space between the letters. - -- Throughout the text, the convention of long dashes at the end of -lines has been made consistent. - -- p. 3: Tennis bat for KATE R.U.E.--For consistency, changed "KATE" to -"Kate". - -- p. 5: You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you.--Changed -period to a question mark. - -- p. 6: KATE Why aren't...--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 7: Even love matches are often unfortumate.--Changed -"unfortumate" to "unfortunate". - -- p. 7: Love has a habit of being so one-sided--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 7: ...a most able and distinguished man--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 9: ..._and waves his hand to TOM and MIL_)--Changed "MIL" to -"MILDRED" in stage direction. - -- p. 9: SIR. P. Drink too much.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 9: KATE. SIR Peter!--Changed "SIR" from small caps to initial -cap. - -- p. 9: SIRP. Of course you do.--Inserted space between "SIR" and "P". - -- p. 10: SIR P Any pain?--Inserted period after "SIR P". - -- p. 11: SIR P. So, altogether. you're quite a happy family?--Changed -what looked like a period after "altogether" to a comma. - -- p. 11: With more money than I know what to do wi h...--Changed -"wi h" to "with". - -- p. 11: The liv r was made, by a beautiful provision...--Changed -"liv r" to "liver". - -- p. 12: _Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. -from R._)--Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 12: (_they come down stage tonether..._--Changed "_tonether_" to -"_together_". - -- p. 12: ...and though circum tances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite ost...--Changed "circum tances" to -"circumstances" and "ost" to "lost". - -- p. 12: SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER. C._)--Changed period -after "NORMANTOWER" to comma. - -- p. 13: SIR P. (_picks up bunch from table, R._)--Changed "_bunch_" -to "_Punch_" based on the "Necessary Properties" list and on the stage -direction following the next line of dialogue which has Sir Peter -sitting and reading. - -- p. 15: ..._she has a tennis bat in her hand, and comes down C._)-- -Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 18: (_stoop- to give a back, NORMANTOWER down R. -laughs...._--Changed "_stoop-_" to "_stooping_". - -- p. 18: KATE (_nodding_) How d'ye do?--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 20: Nonsense I must see you...--Added period after "Nonsense". - -- p. 21: ...but consider the future Some day...--Added a period after -"future". - -- p. 21: No, I shall never marry--Added a period at end of line. - -- p. 22: You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_) Good, generous...--Inserted dash after closing -parenthesis, and changed "Good" to lower case. - -- p. 23: ACT II--Inserted a period at end of heading for consistency. - -- p. 23: ...remarkably tight inexpressibles--Added a period at end of -line. - -- p. 23: You under-rate your accomplishments. don't -think...--Inserted the word "_I_" before "don't". Use of italics was -based on spacing between words. - -- p. 24: _Kate turns up and resumes watering plants, R.C._--For -consistency in stage directions, changed "Kate" to small caps in html -version and all caps in text version. - -- p. 29: No--but I cannot grasp it?--Changed question mark to an -exclamation mark. - -- p. 31: ...bnt now I have awaken...--Changed "bnt" to "but". - -- p. 33: I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey--Added question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 33: I have your acquiesence?--Changed "acquiesence" to -"acquiescence". - -- p. 34: TOM. Are quite well enough to stand a shock?--Inserted "you" -after "Are". - -- p. 34: Yon won't come to blows?--Changed "Yon" to "You". - -- p. 35: _Exeunt JOHNSON and PHILIP R.U.D._--Added closing -parenthesis. - -- p. 36: _TOM has her L. hand., PHILIP her right..._--Deleted period -after "hand". - -- p. 36: SIR. P. Nobody here.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 36: ..._then smells it, smell it again, tastes again cautiously -by his finger..._--Changed "_smell_" to "_smells_". - -- p. 38: _BEATRICE'S fan on piano_--Added period after "_piano_". - -- p. 39: "_ad. lib._"--Deleted period after "_ad_". - -- p. 40: I am charmed with him--Added period at end of sentence. - -- p. 41: _PHILIP comes to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets -him_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 41: SIR P My dear young...--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: You've had a trying day--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 43: _PHILIP takes his R. arm, and they go up_)--Inserted a left -parenthesis before "PHILIP". - -- p. 43: SIR. P. By obeying me...--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 43: SIR P Just one more.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: (_behind sofa R. of it_)--Added a comma after "sofa". - -- p. 43: Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort.--Added "I" before "like". - -- p. 43: ...a bachelor can devote himself to the sex,--Changed comma -to a period. - -- p. 44: Don't mock me--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 44: Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation' which...--Deleted -single quote mark after "explanation". - -- p. 44: You contemplate being married--Added a question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 47: SIR. P. Oh, Miss Derwent!--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 47: ..._snuff--box_...--Changed dash to a hyphen. - -- p. 48: As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence--Added a -question mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 48: ..._drops into sofa, the picture of desolation._--Added a -closing parenthesis after "desolation." - -- p. 48: I'm "all right.'--Changed single closing quotation mark to -double closing quotation mark. - -- p. 49: Whom I could honor--whom I could even obey--Added an -exclamation mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 49: ...from morning nntil night...--Changed "nntil" to "until". - -- p. 50: Don t I? I've got it.--Added an apostrophe between "Don" and -"t". - -- p. 50: I'll go and make things up. _exit. R.U.D._)--Added left -parenthesis before "_exit_"; changed period after "_exit_" to a comma. - -- p. 50: (_turns up to_ Sir PETER)--Changed "Sir" from initial cap to -small caps in html and all caps in text version. - -- p. 51: TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn?--Changed -question mark to exclamation mark. - -- p. 51: _Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle -and wine-glass in her hand_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 52: (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D , leaving door ajar..._--Changed -space after "D" to a period. - -- p. 52: (_goes towards L D., back of sofa_)--Changed space after "L" -to a period. - -- p. 53: (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_--Added closing -parenthesis after "_fascinated_". - -- p. 53: I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory--Added a period -at end of sentence. - -- p. 53: (_goes into the conservatory R.C., disappears R. -re-enters..._--Inserted a comma after "R.". - -- p. 54: ...and on the point of it's consummation...--Changed "it's" -to "its". - -- p. 54: (_takes book gaain_)--Changed "gaain" to "again". - -- p. 54: I suspect Miss Derwent--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 55: (_indicates bell pull, going owards it up R._)--Changed -"_owards_" to "_towards_". - -- p. 55: _comes down R.C._)--Added a left parenthesis before -"_comes_". - -- p. 55: ...KATE appears R.C ,...--Changed space after "C" to a -period. - -- p. 55: (_PHIL goes down L. to L.C._)--Changed "PHIL" to "PHILIP". - -- p. 55: (_sets down the glass_--Added closing parenthesis after -"_glass_". - -- p. 56: _Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWE, R.I.D._--Changed "NORMANTOWE" to -"NORMANTOWER". - -- p. 56: BEA. _I_ rang?--Changed question mark to an exclamation mark. - -- p. 56: (_come down to C._)--Changed "_come_" to "_comes_". - -- p. 56: (_retreating up L C._)--Changed space after "L" to a period. - -- p. 56: _PHILIP makes no movement..._--Added a left parenthesis -before "PHILIP". - -- p. 57: If she is innocent, why was she hiding here--Added a question -mark at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter--Added a -period at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: (_going up to C , KATE comes to him_)--Changed space after -"C" to a period. - -- p. 57: SIR P I should think, fatally.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: SIR P For a very excellent reason.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: ...that to do so would be an admisson of...--Changed -"admisson" to "admission". - -The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the -printed text. However, some concessions have been made. For example, -on pages 25, 34, and 39 of the printed text a single curly bracket -around two or more lines is used to indicate simultaneous action or -dialogue. It is possible to reproduce this in html using tables, but -html tables may not transfer well to the Project Gutenberg files -generated from the html file. Thus, the use of html tables was -avoided. - -This play was inspired by the 1889 trial of Florence Maybrick, who was -convicted of poisoning her husband with arsenic. A brief description -can be found in William R. Cullen, _Is Arsenic an Aphrodisiac? The -Sociochemistry of an Element_ (Cambridge, U.K.: Royal Society of -Chemistry, 2008), pp. 179-180, 183-185. A preview of this book is -available through Google Scholar. See also Edgar Lustgarten, _Verdict -in Dispute_ (London: Allan Wingate, 1949), which is posted by the -Internet Archive at: - -archive.org/details/verdictindispute00lustuoft - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - -***** This file should be named 41647-8.txt or 41647-8.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/ - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm -concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared -with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project -Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. - -Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed -editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. -unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily -keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. - -Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: - - www.gutenberg.org - -This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, -including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary -Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to -subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/41647-8.zip b/old/41647-8.zip Binary files differdeleted file mode 100644 index 0838e9e..0000000 --- a/old/41647-8.zip +++ /dev/null diff --git a/old/41647.txt b/old/41647.txt deleted file mode 100644 index bb498e2..0000000 --- a/old/41647.txt +++ /dev/null @@ -1,4121 +0,0 @@ -The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with -almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or -re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included -with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org - - -Title: A Fool's Paradise - An Original Play in Three Acts - -Author: Sydney Grundy - -Release Date: December 18, 2012 [EBook #41647] - -Language: English - -Character set encoding: ASCII - -*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - - - - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - - - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - - -AN ORIGINAL PLAY - -IN THREE ACTS. - -BY - -SYDNEY GRUNDY. -____________________________________________ - -_Copyright,_ 1898, _by Thomas Henry French._ -____________________________________________ - - -London: | New York: -SAMUEL FRENCH, LTD. | T. HENRY FRENCH, -PUBLISHERS, | PUBLISHER, -89, STRAND. | 26, WEST 22nd STREET. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE - -_Produced at the Garrick Theatre on Saturday, -January 2nd, 1892._ - - CHARACTERS. - -Lord Normantower MR. F. KERR. -Sir Peter Lund, Bart., M.D., F.R.S. MR. JOHN HARE. -Philip Selwyn MR. H. B. IRVING. -Hon. Tom Verinder MR. GILBERT HARE. -Price MR. S. B. BRERETON. -Kate Derwent MISS KATE RORKE. -Beatrice Selwyn MISS OLGA NETHERSOLE. -Mildred Selwyn MISS BEATRICE FERRAR. -Johnson MISS MINNA BLAKISTON. -______________________________ - -ACT I.--THE HALL, AT RAVENHURST, -_Philip Selwyn's Country House, near St. Alban's, Herts._ - -_A Week Elapses._ - -ACT II.--THE BOUDOIR. -_Morning._ - -ACT III.--THE BOUDOIR -_Night._ - - -NECESSARY PROPERTIES. - -ACT I.--On R. table: China Bowl, books in case, newspapers, photo -views, three letters and newspaper through post. Book on sofa. -_Ready:_ Tennis ball to throw on from between C. doors and R.W. Tennis -bat for Kate R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Basket of cut flowers for Kate. -Work bag containing balls of wool and needles, and an apple, for -Mildred. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - -ACT II.--Water bottle and glass, magazine, and Punch, on L. table. -Fire lighted. The hearth should be a solid sheet of slate for glass to -break easily. Bell rope on flat, R. of opening R.C., bell pull on flat -L., below fire-place. _Ready:_ Medicine bottle and glass, L.D. _Hand -Properties:_ Water can (no water) for Kate. Two certificates of -marriage, and one of death for Sir Peter. Cigarettes in case for -Normantower. - -ACT III.--Clear chair from back of table, and water bottle. Lighted -lamp on piano. Ditto on pedestal in conservatory L.C. Small ditto on -table, L.C. _Ready_ R.U.D.: Six cups of coffee on salver, sugar and -milk on small salver. _Ready_ L.D.: Medicine bottle, wine glass and -poison phial. Flower pot to smash on stone, R.U.E. Alarm bell to ring -R.U.E. Large lock to work, R.U.E. _Hand Properties:_ Book for Sir -Peter. Snuff box for Sir Peter. - - -A FOOL'S PARADISE. - -ACT I. - -SCENE.--_The Hall of an old-fashioned Country House with staircase. -Door C. Entrance, L. Door, R. Windows at back, looking into grounds. -Letters on table. Gong._ - -_TOM and MILDRED discovered together. MILDRED on sofa, L.C., TOM on -foot-stool at her feet R. of her. She has some work in her hand, and a -ball of wool in a satchel. [Note for TOM.--Before curtain rises, tie -wool to button on waistcoat, and see the wool is free to "payout" for -business.]_ - -TOM. Come, Mildred dear, say "Yes." - -MIL. But I can't say "Yes." - -TOM. You might help a fellow a bit. I never proposed to anybody -before, and I daresay I've done it very badly---- - -MIL. No, Tom, you've done it very well. - -TOM. (_rises and sits beside her, arm round her waist_) Say "Yes," -then. Of course, I'm not good enough for a girl like you. But I may be -some day. My brother Ned's a confirmed bachelor, and it's just on the -cards I may be the next Earl of Normantower. - -MIL. Yes, Tom, that's just it. I'm not fit to be a Countess. - -TOM. Not fit to be a Countess? Why, some of 'em are awful. - -MIL. My brother wouldn't hear of it, I'm sure. - -TOM. Well, then, you shan't be a Countess. A confirmed bachelor's -always the first to get married; and if Ned has a family, I shan't -come in for the title. You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would -you? - -MIL. Oh, Tom! I know ought to say I should, but I shouldn't. - -TOM. (_half embracing her_) Say "Yes," then. - -MIL. Someone's coming! (_TOM runs to opposite side of the stage and -sits L. of table. She works; he pretends to read a book on table_) - -_Enter KATE DERWENT from grounds, C. from R., with a basket of -flowers._ - -KATE. Well, children! (_comes down, puts basket of flowers on back of -table, R.C., and goes down to C._) - -TOM. (_aside_) Children! - -KATE. Why aren't you out of doors this beautiful morning? - -MIL. Oh, I wanted to finish this slipper. - -KATE. (_catching sight of the thread of wool, the end of which has got -entangled on TOM'S button and which stretches across the stage, -connecting the two_) Really? And you, Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. I? I was reading Hiawatha. - -KATE. You don't say so! (_picking up the thread and drawing them -together_) Now, how dare you tell me such stories? (_breaks the -thread, throws it to MILDRED, crosses TOM to R. of table and fills a -vase with flowers from her basket_) - -TOM. It's no use trying to deceive you, Miss Derwent. I've been making -love to Mildred. - -KATE. Making love at ten o'clock in the morning? I'm ashamed of you. -It's almost as bad as playing cards by daylight. - -TOM. (C.) I want her to marry me and she won't! She says my family's -too good for her--as if anything could be too good for Mildred! I'm -sure the Verinders are poor enough. As for me, she forgets my father -was cut off with a shilling, and blew'd the lot? - -KATE. (R.C.) Blew'd the lot. - -MIL. Tom means, his father spent it. (_C.L. of TOM_) - -KATE. Spent the shilling? - -TOM. Every penny of it. Oh, we're a reckless lot, we Verinders! - -_PHILIP SELWYN enters C. from L., he places his stick in stand L. of -C. door, hat on small table up R.C., and goes slowly down to -fire-place, R._ - -MIL. And why was he cut off with the shilling? - -TOM. Because he married the girl he wanted; instead of a girl he -didn't want; and his son's going to do the same. (_placing his arm -round her and taking her down to L.C._) - -KATE. Ah, Mr. Verinder! Marriage is a serious responsibility. (_goes -to C., basket in hand_) - -TOM. It's serious when you marry the wrong person, but I'm going to -marry the right one. - -KATE. Yes, but who is the right one? - -PHIL. Surely, the right one is the one we love. (_sits, opening -letters, in arm-chair R. of table_) - -TOM. (_advances to C._) _You_ think so, Mr. Selwyn? (_turns to -MILDRED, who sits on R. arm of sofa, searches in her work bag and -finds an apple which he eats_) - -KATE. (_sits R.C._) Because you have been fortunate in your choice, -but how many have made a mistake! Even love matches are often -unfortunate. Love has a habit of being so one-sided. (_filling a bowl -on table, with flowers_) - -PHIL. I haven't found it so! and mine was a love match, if ever there -was one. I met my wife quite casually at Brighton--fell in love, -proposed, was accepted and married, all within a month. - -KATE. You married in haste. - -PHIL. And by all the laws of cynical philosophy, I ought to have -repented at leisure. (_BEATRICE SELWYN enters, L. down staircase -unobserved, and crosses slowly to back of table R.C._) But I haven't -repented. To the confusion of the philosophers, I'm the happiest -husband and have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. (_turns to KATE, his mouth full of apple_) There, Miss Derwent! -What do you say to that? (_turns to MILDRED_) - -KATE. That is one side of the picture, but I've seen the other. My -mother also married for love. - -PHIL. And what was the consequence? - -KATE. That her daughter will never marry. - -BEA. (_softly_) Don't say that, Miss Derwent. (_all start slightly, -KATE rises, and sits again almost immediately, still filling bowl with -flowers_) You are always severe on the gentlemen, but don't be so hard -on them as that. - -PHIL. Good gracious, Mousey, how you startled me! Your footsteps are -so fairy-like, one never knows where you are. - -BEA. Moral: never tell secrets to Miss Derwent, when you think I'm not -listening. - -PHIL. My dear, it's no secret that I have the best wife in the world. - -TOM. Everybody thinks that, Mrs. Selwyn. (_going up C. towards her_) - -BEA. (_goes to TOM, C._) Not everybody. To wit--Sir Peter Lund. - -MIL. Oh, what does it matter what that grumpy old bear thinks? (_goes -to L. of sofa, and round behind it_) - -BEA. (_crosses TOM to sofa, L.C., picks up a book and sits almost -reclining, her back to PHIL. and KATE. TOM goes up C. and remains in -doorway_) My dear Mildred, Sir Peter Lund is a most able and -distinguished man. Having made his fortune as a fashionable physician, -he has almost retired from the active pursuit of his profession to -devote himself to his innumerable appointments, and to the -transactions of all sorts of royal and learned societies, where the -clearing of his erudite throat is the signal of the most reverential -attention. (_TOM signals to MILDRED who joins him up C._) - -KATE. And well it may be. - -BEA. Forgive me, I quite forgot he was a friend of yours. - -PHIL. And mine as well, my dear. When Sir Peter was an ordinary family -practitioner, he brought both Mildred and myself into the world, he -attended my father in his last illness, and in spite of the multitude -of his engagements, he is good enough to take an interest in us still. -What could be kinder than his voluntary proposal to run down here and -see me, simply because he had heard casually that I was rather out of -sorts? - -KATE. Sir Peter is coming here? - -PHIL. I expect him this morning. - -BEA. I can only wonder that in "the multitude of his engagements" he -can find the leisure. - -PHIL. Sir Peter is one of those wonderful men, who get through the -work of a dozen, yet never seem to have anything to do. - -KATE. (_rises_) Who can always find time for an act of kindness, and -are never too busy to remember an old friend. (_goes up and puts -basket on table at back R.C., and joins TOM and MILDRED._) - -BEA. Well, I will make him as comfortable as I can. - -PHIL. I know you will, and the more you see of him the more you will -like him. (_opening another letter_) Hallo! Tom, a letter from your -brother. - -TOM. Ned! (_comes down L. of table, MILDRED L. of TOM._) - -PHIL. "A thousand thanks, old man, for your kind invitation to stay -with you while Normantower is being prepared for the reception of my -august person! How glad I shall be to shake hands with you once more! -Expect me when you see me. Yours as always, Ned. P.S.--Fancy you -putting up my cub of a brother! Surely the stables were good enough -for him." - -MIL. Well, I declare! - -TOM. Ned always talks like that; but he's a very good brother to me, -and always down with the dust, when he's any dust to down with. -(_takes her up C. rejoining KATE_) - -BEA. (_rises, crosses to L. of table, puts book in case on table, and -then gets back of table, L. of PHILIP_) You see, Phil, Lord -Normantower is quite grateful for your invitation. - -PHIL. It was a happy thought of yours to suggest it; but when aren't -your thoughts happy? They are always of others. (_BEATRICE kisses -him._) - -_Enter PRICE, L.D._ - -PRI. Sir Peter Lund. (_BEATRICE comes down C. KATE down R.C. corner of -table, TOM and MILDRED behind arm-chair R._) - -_Enter SIR PETER LUND. He comes to L.C._ - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to SIR PETER, taking his hand_) Welcome to -Ravenhurst! I scarcely expected you so soon. You must have risen early -this morning. (_exit PRICE with SIR PETER'S hat and stick L.D._) - -SIR P. Always get up at five. (_crosses to BEATRICE_) How are you? -(_shakes hands with BEATRICE_) How d'ye do? (_crosses BEATRICE to -KATE, and waves his hand to TOM and MILDRED_) How are you, boy? - -BEA. Always get up at five? (_L. of SIR PETER_) - -PHIL. And never goes to bed before two. It's a marvel to me how you do -it! (_front of sofa_) - -SIR PETER. (_crosses to PHIL._) It's a marvel to me how you don't do -it. That's why you are out of sorts. You eat too much. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Drink too much. - -BEA. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Sleep too much. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. (_turning on the ladies_) So do you! - -BEA. (_turning to KATE_) Oh! (_TOM and MILDRED steal off into the -grounds, C. to R._) - -SIR P. Of course you do. Everybody does. (_watch_) What time's the -next up train? - -PHIL. You're not thinking of going already? - -SIR P. Certainly not. Not going for ten minutes. - -BEA. Surely you'll stay to lunch? - -SIR P. Lunch, what d'you want with lunch? If you've an appetite for -dinner, thank heaven for it, and don't go and spoil it with lunch. - -BEA. Do you ever eat? - -SIR P. Eat? Like a cormorant. - -PHIL. Drink? - -SIR P. Like a fish. (_PHILIP reclines on sofa, R. of it_) - -KATE. Sleep? - -SIR P. Like a humming-top! - -BEA. But you say, you oughtn't. - -SIR P. Well? Do you never do what you oughtn't! I do. (_turns up to -head of sofa and surveys PHILIP through pince-nez_) - -BEA. Since Sir Peter is so pressed for time---- - -SIR P. Pressed for time? Not at all. (_getting behind sofa still -looking at PHILIP_) - -BEA. I understood you---- - -SIR P. You misunderstood me. - -BEA. At any rate we'd better leave you with your patient. Come, Miss -Derwent--(_bows--SIR PETER bows. Exit with KATE into grounds, C. to -R._) (_SIR PETER turns up stage and watches them off, then comes down, -moves chair R. of sofa towards PHILIP, and sits_) - -SIR P. Well, what's the matter with you? - -PHIL. Really, Sir Peter! That's what I want you to tell me. - -SIR P. You have a high opinion of the medical profession. Do you -suppose we can tell you anything, if you don't tell us first? - -PHIL. I have always supposed so. - -SIR P. Error, sir. You tell us everything we tell you. The only -difference is, you tell us in English, and we tell you in Latin. You -take a fee out of your pocket; we put one in ours. - -PHIL. Well, doctor, I can't tell you what's the matter with me. I -should very much like to know. - -SIR P. Why! What has it to do with _you?_ - -PHIL. (_smiling_) A great deal unhappily. - -SIR P. Vulgar fallacy. A patient's complaint concerns nobody but his -doctor. (_feels pulse--watch in hand_) - -PHIL. I have no energy. I don't take my usual interest in what goes on -around me. One day I'm restless--another, lethargic. There's nothing -particular the matter with me, but I seem to have no pleasure in -existence; and instead of getting better, I get worse. - -SIR P. (_shuts watch_) Happy at home? (_after feeling his hand_) - -PHIL. Perfectly. - -SIR P. How has your marriage answered? - -PHIL. My wife is simply a treasure. - -SIR P. (_dryly_) Oh! Any money difficulties? - -PHIL. None. My father left me beyond reach of any trouble of that -sort. - -SIR P. Any pain? (_feeling his chest_) - -PHIL. No. - -SIR P. I see, Miss Derwent is still with you. - -PHIL. And I hope, will remain. Beatrice wouldn't be without her for -the world, and I think Mildred almost worships her. I can't -sufficiently thank you for the introduction. - -SIR P. How's your appetite? - -PHIL. It varies. - -SIR P. I thought Miss Derwent would suit you. I picked her up at -Guy's. She was a nurse there. Something about her struck me. Has it -struck you? - -PHIL. What? - -SIR P. Her likeness to your father. - -PHIL. Well, now you mention it, there is a likeness. - -SIR P. Sleep pretty well? - -PHIL. Too well. I'm always drowsy. - -SIR P. So, altogether, you're quite a happy family? - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. With more money than I know what to do with, heir -to a name that is honoured wherever it is known, the husband of the -dearest wife in the world, I sometimes think I am the happiest man on -earth. - -SIR P. Humph. - -PHIL. You smile. - -SIR P. I seem to have dropped into a little paradise. - -PHIL. Yes, doctor. - -SIR P. Where's the serpent? - -PHIL. The serpent? - -SIR P. There was a serpent even in paradise. - -PHIL. There's none in mine. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'm sorry to hear it. (_crosses to C._) There is only -one sort of paradise in which there is no serpent. - -PHIL. What sort do you mean? - -SIR P. (C.) A fool's. (_takes snuff and goes to hearthrug, R., back to -fire-place_) - -PHIL. (_rises and crosses to R.C. and sits L. of table_) You are plain -spoken, Sir Peter. Now tell me with equal candour what is the matter -with me. Perhaps that is the serpent. - -SIR P. Shall I tell you the truth? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. I don't know. - -PHIL. Surely, with your experience---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no experience. - -PHIL. Well, with your knowledge---- - -SIR P. Sir, I have no knowledge. Knowledge is the monopoly of -extremely young practitioners. I have been doctoring for forty years; -and now, I stand here on your hearthrug, sir, a monument of triumphant -ignorance. - -PHIL. Nonsense, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. Sense, sir, sense. - -PHIL. Be candid and tell me frankly what is wrong with me. - -SIR P. Your liver, probably. - -PHIL. Only my liver? - -SIR P. (_advances to table_) Don't speak disparagingly of your liver, -sir. That eminently respectable organ has been much misunderstood. It -is commonly supposed to serve certain functional purposes in the -physical economy. Another fallacy! The liver was made, by a beautiful -provision of nature, for the benefit of the medical profession. (_sits -in arm-chair, R._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. from R._ - -MIL. Phil, here's Lord Normantower. (_MILDRED runs on to back of -table, followed by TOM, who gets R. of sofa, and sits on arm of it. -SIR PETER rises and goes down two steps, R._) - -PHIL. Ned! (_rises and turns up to meet LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -TOM. He's so brown, and he's grown such a beard! - -NOR. (_up C._) Well, Phil, old man, how are you? - -PHIL. (_they come down stage together, C., PHILIP on R. of LORD -NORMANTOWER, MILDRED crosses behind them to back of sofa, L. of TOM_) -My dear Ned! I can't tell you how glad I am to see you. Sir Peter -Lund--Lord Normantower. How kind of you to come and stop with us! How -pleasant it will be to chat over old times! But first of all, let me -congratulate you on your new dignity. - -NOR. Dignity? My dear Phil, I have no dignity. I am a born Bohemian, -and the idea of me dropping in for a peerage strikes me as so -ludicrous, I've done nothing but laugh ever since I became a -hereditary legislator. (_laughs_) - -TOM. Ha, ha, ha! - -NOR. (_suddenly serious_) What's the matter with you? - -TOM. Fancy Ned a legislator! - -NOR. Even Tom sees the joke. (_throws hat to TOM_) - -_TOM, suddenly serious, turns up to be consoled by MILDRED; exeunt, C. -to R.; TOM hanging LORD NORMANTOWER'S hat on stick in stand._ - -PHIL. Lord Normantower and I were at Oxford together. We became great -friends; and though circumstances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite lost sight of one another. - -NOR. I haven't the pleasure of knowing Sir Peter myself, but I believe -other members of my family have had that privilege. - -SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER, C._) Sir, I had the honour of -attending the last three Earls of Normantower. Your uncle--gout; your -cousin Richard--lungs; your cousin John--delirium--humph--delirium! -(_PHILIP drops down, R.C._) - -NOR. (_throws gloves on table, L.C._) That branch of the family -disposed of, the peerage devolved on me as the eldest son of my poor -father--the only Verinder who never enjoyed the title, and the only -one who deserved it. - -SIR P. (_shaking him by the hand_) I quite agree with you. (_turns up -C._) - -PHIL. Let us hope his son will be worthy of him. - -NOR. (_sits in chair R. of sofa_) Ah, well, I'll do my best; but ten -thousand a year, paid quarterly in advance, would have suited Ned -Verinder's book better than an empty honour without a shilling to -support it. - -PHIL. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER_) Well, there's one consolation. -If it's a difficult matter for a peer to make money, it's very easy -for him to marry it. (_SIR PETER comes down to fire-place, R._) - -NOR. Marry? Not me! No! I was born a bachelor, and am not going to fly -in the face of Providence. - -PHIL. You don't believe in marriage? - -NOR. Of course there are exceptions; and I hope from the bottom of my -heart, yours is one of them. I haven't seen your wife yet, you know. - -PHIL. I've married a most charming woman, Ned--haven't I, Sir Peter? -(_going to L. of table, R.C._) - -SIR P. (_picks up Punch from table, R._) Sir--your wife is my hostess, -and one's hostess is always charming. (_bows and turns off--sitting -R., reading_) - -NOR. A charming woman? You arouse painful memories. I once knew a -charming woman. To be quite frank, I was engaged to one. - -PHIL. (_goes to LORD NORMANTOWER_) You have been engaged to be -married! I never heard of it. - -NOR. No, I kept it quiet. So did she. (_BEATRICE enters, C., from R., -pausing to look in at window, R.C., and comes down behind chair, -R.C._) At the time, there was not the remotest likelihood of my ever -succeeding to the title, and of course I was hard up. I always was. A -gilded calf appeared upon the scene; and the charming woman wrote me a -charming letter, protesting eternal fidelity, and announcing her -approaching marriage. - -PHIL. To the calf? - -NOR. To the gilt. - -PHIL. You had a lucky escape. - -NOR. Luckier than I thought: for I discovered afterwards that the -charming creature was a regular adventuress--a garrison hack--a -boarding-house belle--the sole support of an aged father--a venerable -old gentleman, with the manners of a patriarch and the morals of a -welsher! She was a charming woman, for all that. - -PHIL. I congratulate you on your escape. But who was the unfortunate -calf? - -NOR. I never took the trouble to inquire. - -BEA. (_advancing--all start slightly as before_) And the charming -creature? Pray, who was she? (_C.R. of PHILIP_) - -NOR. (_rises_) Miss Challoner! - -PHIL. (_proudly--introducing BEATRICE_) My wife. (_NORMANTOWER bows_) -You know one another. - -BEA. (_with perfect self-possession_) I believe, now that I see Lord -Normantower, I once had the pleasure of meeting him. (_crosses to -NORMANTOWER_) Let me see--where was it? - -NOR. It sounds ungallant to say so, but I really forget for the -moment. - -BEA. Well, never mind that now. Tell us who was the lady who used you -so shamefully. I am dying to know. (_looking him straight in the -face_) - -NOR. You must excuse me. Though I am ungallant enough to forget where -I met Mrs. Selwyn, I am not so unchivalrous as to betray a lady's -secret. (_moves away to L.C. in front of sofa_) - -BEA. (_goes to PHILIP, R.C._) Phil, dear, your friend is quite a hero -of romance. If you have any more such friends, please lose no time in -introducing them. - -PHIL. My love, don't make me jealous. (_BEATRICE goes to NORMANTOWER. -PHILIP turns and speaks to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_giving her hand frankly to NORMANTOWER_) Thank you, Lord -Normantower. - -NOR. (_taking her hand, rather disconcerted_) For what, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. For your loyalty--to my sex. (_turns off up stage to back of -table, calling SIR PETER, who rises and joins her. She shows him a -book, which she takes from table_) - -PHIL. (_crosses to NORMANTOWER, takes his arm, and draws him back to -sofa_) You've had a narrow escape, evidently; but don't make the -mistake of letting the unworthiness of one woman blind you to the -merits of the rest. Believe me, there is no happiness like that of -married love. (_sits on sofa. SIR PETER is looking at book; BEATRICE -listening to conversation_) - -NOR. (_sits L. of PHILIP_) Love! there is no such thing. We think we -are in love, but we aren't. What is called love is an affliction of -the brain, not an affection of the heart. Luckily, we soon get over -it. - -BEA. Men may--but women, never. Do they, Sir Peter? - -SIR P. I never offer an opinion on matters I don't -understand--(_lifting his forefinger_)--unless, mark, they are -strictly medical. Love has no place in the British pharmacopaea. (_goes -down R. of table, BEATRICE L. of it. She shows him some photographic -views_) - -PHIL. Yet it exists. I have even known cases of love at sight. - -NOR. Love at sight! Now you're going too far for anything. I can -imagine an enthusiast believing even in love, but love at sight! -(_rises_) No, my dear Phil, that's too ridicu---- (_a tennis ball -comes flying in from the grounds, rolling down to L. corner; -NORMANTOWER picks it up and gets L.C._) - -_KATE runs in after the ball, C. from R., she has a tennis bat in her -hand, and comes down C._ - -KATE. (_speaking off, as she enters_) Stay where you are! I'll get it -for you, children! (_stops_) Has anybody seen---- Oh! there it is! -(_seeing it in NORMANTOWER'S hand_) - -NOR. Allow me---- (_goes to C. and gives it to KATE_) - -KATE. Thank you, very much. (_running out_) Here you are! Catch! -(_throwing ball off R. Exit KATE; NORMANTOWER turns up C., and stands -gazing after her; pause. PHILIP rises and goes L._) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) Who is that lady? (_comes down C. to sofa_) - -PHIL. (L.) That's Miss Derwent. - -NOR. And who is Miss Derwent? - -BEA. (R.C.) Only a companion. (_coldly_) - -PHIL. You'll be delighted with her, when you know her, as of course -you will, if you stay with us for a week or two. - -NOR. I'll stop for a month. (_sits on sofa_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) Well, my ten minutes are up. (_crosses to C._) Before -I go I'd like to see you alone. (_to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_turns up L. behind sofa_) Come to my room. (_to NORMANTOWER, -over back of sofa_) We shan't be very long. Meanwhile, I leave you in -good company. (_goes to foot of stairs L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -BEA. (_goes up C. to SIR PETER_) Good-bye, Sir Peter--if I don't see -you again. - -SIR P. You will see me again. I'll stay to lunch after all. (_follows -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_going upstairs_) That's right, doctor. Give yourself a holiday -for once. (_exit L._) - -BEA. (_following SIR PETER to foot of stairs_) But your patients? What -will they do without you? (_smiling sweetly_) - -SIR P. (_on stairs_) What will they do? Recover. (_exit L._) - -_BEATRICE stands at the foot of the stairs, watching them off. -NORMANTOWER is sitting with his back to staircase. He rises and -crosses thoughtfully to R.C. corner of table. BEATRICE advances and -stands looking at him._ - -NOR. Are they gone? - -BEA. (C.) Yes. Oh, Ned, can you ever forgive me? (_L. of NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Forgive you? I forgave you long ago. Indeed I am grateful to you -for teaching me a lesson which I shall never forget. - -BEA. You are cruel; but I suppose I deserve it. (_on a line with -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. My grievance is a thing of the past. I have no wish to injure you -or to cause you pain, and I should not have expressed myself so freely -just now, had I known that you were present or that I was speaking of -the wife of a friend. (_a step down_) - -BEA. You have been misinformed. There is not a word of truth in what -you have heard about me. - -NOR. No doubt. People exaggerate so. (_standing below her_) - -BEA. They invent so. - -NOR. They invent so. - -BEA. And you have believed them! What must you think of me? (_moves -away a little_) - -NOR. To be perfectly frank, Mrs. Selwyn, I endeavour not to think of -you at all. (_goes to fireplace R._) - -BEA. (_goes up to L. of table_) You have forgotten me? You have -stripped me from your mind? - -NOR. I have done my best to forget you. (_leans on mantel, his back to -her_) - -BEA. (_moving away_) And this is constancy! (_down to L._) - -NOR. (_faces round_) Constancy! I am not more punctilious than most -men, but surely it is scarcely my duty to be constant to a woman who -has become the wife of another. (_advances to R.C._) - -BEA. (_goes up to C._) Ah! it is easy to talk of one's duty but it is -not always so easy to do it. (_NORMANTOWER looks at her_) Ned--may I -call you so? Let me tell you the secret of my life. - -NOR. You have a secret? (_comes to her C._) - -BEA. Yes--_I_ was always constant. I was forced into this marriage. -The letter I wrote breaking off our engagement was dictated to me. I -never loved my husband. (_turns away to L.C._) - -NOR. (C.) Mrs. Selwyn, you forget, your husband is my friend. If you -didn't know it when he asked me here, you know it now. - -BEA. (_turns to him_) I always knew it. It was I who suggested the -invitation. I could bear my unhappiness no longer. I felt I must see -you again. Oh, if you could only look into my heart! Ned! Though I -used you badly, you are bitterly avenged! (_drops into sofa L.C., and -buries her face in her hands_) - -NOR. (_goes up to head of sofa, looking down on her_) I have no wish -to be avenged. I loved you--I lost you--and there is an end of it. -(_turns up C._) - -BEA. (_rising_) Why was I born a woman? (_crosses to R.C. corner of -table_) Why was I not a man? To amuse myself just for the moment, and -then to be able to forget! - -NOR. (_comes down behind chair R.C._) You do us an injustice. We men -are not so inconstant as you think. Sometimes we pretend to forget -what we are half ashamed to remember. (_BEATRICE listens intently, -watching him out of the corner of her eyes_) But the past is past. You -are a wife now. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. If I were not a wife? - -NOR. Then, it would be different. - -BEA. (_close to him_) Hush! I have said, I do not love my husband; and -if you say that, you will make me hate him. To think that he--and he -alone--stands between me and happiness. - -NOR. Beatrice! (_recoiling_) - -BEA. Don't shrink from me! Is it so wicked to want to be happy? -(_touching him_) - -NOR. Happy? - -BEA. If I were only free! (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. (C.) You forget, though I have dropped in for a title, I am -almost as poor as ever. - -BEA. (_goes up to him_) But I am not. (_laying her hand on his arm_) -Philip has left me everything if I survive him. - -_SIR PETER appears at the top of the staircase; she turns off -suddenly, crossing NORMANTOWER, who goes down to R.C._ - -BEA. (_goes towards foot of stairs_) Well, doctor, how do you find -your patient? (_up C._) - -SIR P. (_up L.C._) Your husband is more seriously ill than I -anticipated. (_she glances at NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Ill! - -BEA. What is the matter with him? - -SIR P. (_R. of chair, L.C._) Something occult--that's why I call it -serious. There is nothing so serious as the unknown. (_NORMANTOWER -turns up R. and looks out at window_) - -BEA. Something _you_ can't make out? It must be occult indeed. - -SIR P. (_goes to front of sofa L.C._) But something I _hope_ to make -out before I go. - -BEA. Then you propose to stay here? (_disconcerted_) - -SIR P. With your permission--for to-night, at any rate. - -BEA. I'll have a room prepared for you at once. (_about to go L.U.E., -returns C. and works to R.C._) - -SIR P. Don't trouble. The orders are already given. I've taken the -liberty of choosing my own quarters. They open on the terrace, so I -can take the air in the morning without disturbing the household. -(_sits on sofa_) - -_Re-enter C. from. R., KATE DERWENT from grounds, TOM and MILDRED -running up with her to the doors C. NORMANTOWER goes slowly down to R. -corner._ - -KATE. That'll do, children, I'm quite out of breath. (_comes down C. -TOM and MILDRED run off into grounds L._) - -BEA. I am afraid the children give you no rest, Miss Derwent. (_R.C., -L. of table_) - -KATE. Oh, I don't mind. I like it. I was a dreadful tomboy myself, -when I was their age. I haven't forgotten how to play leap-frog yet. - -BEA. Your memory is really wonderful. - -KATE. And I believe I could give as good a back--(_stooping to give a -back, NORMANTOWER down R. laughs. Catching sight of NORMANTOWER, puts -her hand to her mouth and stops short_) - -BEA. (_obliged to introduce them_) Lord Normantower--Miss Derwent. -(_he bows_) - -KATE. (_nodding_) How d'ye do? (_turns and speaks to SIR PETER_). - -BEA. (_turns to NORMANTOWER, R._) You have not been here -lately--Philip has made such improvements! You'll scarcely know the -old place again. May I have the pleasure of showing it you? - -NOR. I shall be delighted. (_BEATRICE turns up a few steps C., -NORMANTOWER crosses to KATE, C._) Perhaps Miss Derwent will come with -us. (_BEATRICE bites her lips_) - -SIR P. (_rising_) Miss Derwent will stop here. (_BEATRICE smiles -maliciously_) I want to speak to her. - -KATE. You, doctor? (_SIR PETER goes L. and round behind sofa to C. as -BEATRICE and NORMANTOWER exit_) - -NOR. (_reluctantly_) Good-bye then, for the present. - -KATE. Au revoir! (_goes to L.C., NORMANTOWER is "struck," and suddenly -remembering turns. Exeunt LORD NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE into grounds -C. to R._) - -SIR P. (_SIR PETER after watching them off, comes down R. of sofa and -points_) Sit down. - -KATE. Don't order me about in that way, doctor. We're not in the -hospital now. - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sits, in burlesque obedience. He sits_) First -let me deliver my messages. The entire medical staff at Guy's send you -their kindest regards. (_Both on sofa, KATE L., SIR PETER R._) - -KATE. (_facing audience_) That's very nice of them. On your return, -doctor, will you be so good as to give my kindest regards to the -entire medical staff at Guy's? - -SIR P. The house-surgeon, Mr. Kennedy, I regret to say, sends you his -love. - -KATE. Will you also give my love to Mr. Kennedy? - -SIR P. The students send you a kiss apiece. - -KATE. Will you please kiss the students all round. (_SIR PETER makes a -gesture of objection._) - -SIR P. Are you sorry you changed your position? - -KATE. No, Sir Peter. I have been very happy here. Mr. Selwyn has -always treated me with such consideration that, I am afraid, sometimes -I forget that I am not one of the family; Mrs. Selwyn has never been -_unkind_ to me, and Mildred I have learnt to love almost as a sister. - -SIR P. Good. My object in introducing you here being accomplished, I -feel myself at liberty to explain it. The medical profession has its -romantic episodes. I am going to tell you one. - -KATE. Go on. I love romances. (_faces SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Three years ago, a patient of mine died--nothing remarkable in -that--it's a habit my patients have--leaving a grown-up son and a -young daughter to inherit his very considerable fortune. He died -beloved by his children and respected by all who knew him, but on his -deathbed he confided to me a secret. He was a thief and a bigamist. -When very young he had married a rich lady. This marriage he had -concealed, and under a false name had married again. For some years he -had lived a double life and had two families. By his first and lawful -wife he had one child--a daughter; and having contrived to possess -himself of the whole of this lady's fortune, ultimately he deserted -her. The fortune of the first wife he left to his children by the -second, who are to this day quite unconscious of their father's crime. - -KATE. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. In his later years, he had searched privately for his first -wife and child, but he could find no trace of them. That search he -bequeathed to me, and a pretty legacy it's been! For a long time my -inquiries were unavailing, but at last I discovered that the mother -was dead. - -KATE. And the daughter? - -SIR P. Was one of my own nurses at Guy's Hospital. - -KATE. At Guy's! - -SIR P. I had known her by sight for months, but had not happened to -hear her name--Kate Derwent. - -KATE. (_rising_) I? - -SIR P. Sit down. (_KATE sinks back into seat_) What was I to do? All -this man's children were my personal friends. The two, who had legally -inherited your mother's fortune, morally were not entitled to a -shilling. You, who legally are penniless, morally are entitled to it -all. If ever there was a case for an amicable arrangement, this was -one; and I thought it would facilitate a settlement, if you were all -made acquainted with one another. With that object I introduced you -into this house. - -KATE. Surely you cannot mean---- - -SIR P. I can--I do. - -KATE. That Mr. Selwyn--(_rising_) - -SIR P. Is your brother. - -KATE. Mildred---- - -SIR P. Your sister. - -KATE. And their father---- - -SIR P. Yours. Now comes the question; what is to be done? - -KATE. (_with determination_) Nothing. - -SIR P. How nothing? - -KATE. You say they don't know anything. Not that their father -was--(_stops short_) - -SIR P. A scoundrel? No. - -KATE. Not that their mother---- - -SIR P. Was his victim? No. - -KATE. Not who I am? - -SIR P. Not who you are. - -KATE. Then, let them never know it. (_crosses to R.C., L. of table_) - -SIR P. Nonsense. I must see you properly provided for. - -KATE. I am provided for. (_gets C._) I have earned my living for -years, and I can earn it to the end. I am not used to wealth, and -should not know what to do with it. They are, and could not be happy -without it. Let them remain in ignorance of the truth. - -SIR P. (_rises and goes towards her, C._) Miss Derwent, you are a most -extraordinary person. I tell you, you are entitled to a fortune, and -you don't ask how much it is. A woman--and no curiosity. - -KATE. I don't care how much it is or how little. I don't want to know. -(_turns away to front of table_) - -SIR P. This is a matter of no less than two hundred thousand pounds. -Well? - -KATE. I said nothing. - -SIR P. Then will you please say something? - -KATE. I have nothing to say. - -SIR P. A woman--and nothing to say. You regard two hundred thousand -pounds with contempt. Think, how many new frocks it would buy. (_going -to her_) - -KATE. I do not regard money with contempt; for money can sometimes buy -happiness. But we are all perfectly happy as we are. Why do you want -to disturb us? - -SIR P. (_R. of table_) You think only of the present; but consider the -future. Some day, you may have a daughter of your own---- - -KATE. No, I shall never marry. - -SIR P. Never what? - -KATE. I am in earnest. (_goes down a few steps, R.C._) - -SIR P. A woman--and not want to be married! Hang me, if I believe -you're a woman at all! (_goes to L.C._) - -KATE. Why? Because I want to be generous? - -SIR P. (_above KATE_) Miss Derwent, there is a higher virtue than -generosity, and that is justice. It is easy enough to be generous, but -it hard indeed to be just--especially to oneself. This is a question -of pounds, shillings, and pence. - -KATE. (_works up to C._) Pardon me, Sir Peter--this is a question of -breaking the hearts of those who were kind to me when I needed -kindness, who befriended me when I was alone in the world, whom I have -already learned to love almost as what they are--my brother and -sister. Their father--my father--is dead, but his memory is dear to -them. I know they loved him--and I know they honoured him. How can I -imperil that love, and how can I stultify that honour? How can I cloud -the sunshine of my sister's life with the shadow of her father's sin? -No, Sir Peter! If that is justice, justice is beyond me. I am only -equal to generosity. I _am_ a woman, only a woman--and I can't do it. -Not for a hundred fortunes! Not for all the world. (_goes to L. of -table and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes up to C._) Yes, you are a woman after all--and as -self-willed and silly as the rest. To throw away two hundred thousand -pounds! Why, I've decimated my fellow creatures for half that. It's -wicked--positively wicked. You deserve to die in a ditch. - -KATE. (_rises_) I will die where heaven wills it, but I shall at least -have the consciousness that I have done something to repair my -father's wrong. - -SIR P. Rubbish--romantic rubbish. - -KATE. Promise me that you will keep this secret--that you will say -nothing to my brother--promise me, Sir Peter. - -SIR P. I shall promise nothing. I shall use my own discretion, as I -always do. (_turns off, L.C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter! (_following him_) - -SIR P. You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_)--good, generous, true-hearted girl, and I am -your friend always! Look here! I'm old enough to be your father--(_is -about to kiss her. Re-enter PRICE, R.D.; aside_) Damn that man! (_goes -L., PRICE sounds gong, R., below fire-place_) - -_Music in orchestra till act drop. Re-enter TOM and MILDRED, running -in from grounds, followed by BEATRICE and LORD NORMANTOWER leisurely, -C. from R._ - -TOM. (_throwing his hat on R. table_) Lunch, at last! Aren't I ready -for it? (_runs off, R.D._) - -MIL. (_throwing hers on the table_) Tom! Wait for me. (_runs off -R.D._) - -_KATE looks from MILDRED to SIR PETER pathetically. Exit PRICE, R.D. -PHILIP appears on staircase, slowly coming down._ - -BEA. (_coming down C._) You must be hungry after your journey. (_R. of -LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_coming down C._) Yes, thank heaven, my appetite is as -redoubtable as ever. Miss Derwent may--(_about to offer arm_) - -BEA. (_cutting in_) Sir Peter, will you bring Miss Derwent? - -_LORD NORMANTOWER is obliged to offer his arm to BEATRICE. Exit LORD -NORMANTOWER and BEATRICE, R. SIR PETER offers his arm to KATE whom he -takes R.C._ - -PHIL. (_on stairs_) Stop, doctor, stop. (_comes down to R. of KATE_) -Don't monopolise all the good things. Suppose we go shares. (_offers -his arm to KATE_) - -KATE. (_between the two_) Don't be scandalised. (_to SIR PETER_) Mr. -Selwyn often gives me his arm. Here--(_looking at PHILIP_) I am more -like a friend than a dependant. - -PHIL. (looking at KATE) More like a sister than a friend. (_exeunt, -R.D._) - -SWELL MUSIC. - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty Minutes. Wait: Thirteen Minutes._ - - -ACT II. - -SCENE.--_A Boudoir, opening through a conservatory on to a terrace. -Doors, R. and L. A water jug and goblet on table. A week has elapsed. -Morning. Lights full up. Music for Act Drop._ - -_BEATRICE enters, L., as curtain rises. KATE discovered watering -plants in conservatory, up in opening, R.C._ - -BEA. Good morning, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. Good morning, Mrs. Selwyn. - -BEA. At work, as usual. How industrious you are! (_comes down C., to -sofa_) - -KATE. Yes--I've been saying good-bye to all my favourites. -(_pause--BEATRICE takes up a book--KATE goes on watering the plants_) -How is Mr. Selwyn this morning? - -BEA. He is not so well. (_her back is towards KATE_) - -KATE. I'm sorry to hear that. I hope he will be well enough to shake -hands with me before I go. - -BEA. Then you are determined to leave us? - -KATE. (_leaves can up R.C., and comes down C._) I can't tell you how -sorry I am, but I mustn't stop here for ever. Mildred learnt all that -I can teach her long ago; and if I stay much longer, I shall be the -pupil. Since Mr. Verinder's arrival I have had several lessons in the -English language as it is spoken at Eton, and I flatter myself I shall -soon be able to "cackle" as well as if I wore a remarkably short -jacket and remarkably tight inexpressibles. - -BEA. You under-rate your accomplishments. _I_ don't think there is -_much_ that Mildred could teach you. - -KATE. (_grimaces behind her back_) Don't make me blush, my dear. - -BEA. You make _me_ blush sometimes. - -KATE. Then you ought to be extremely obliged to me, for nothing -becomes you better. (_grimaces as before_) Mrs. Selwyn, we are now -quite old friends. I cannot leave Ravenhurst without some little -memento of our companionship--There are no horrid men about to hear -us--Before I go, tell me (_dropping down near BEATRICE into an -attitude of mock earnestness_) oh, tell me---- (_behind sofa R. of -BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Well? - -KATE. The secret of your complexion. - -BEA. (_smiling_) It's a very simple one--Arsenic. - -KATE. (_rises_) Arsenic! But that's a poison. - -BEA. Yes, if you take too much of it; but if you take a little, it---- - -KATE. It what! - -BEA. Improves the complexion. - -KATE. Does it? Where do you get it? - -BEA. From the chemist's, of course. - -KATE. But will they sell it you? - -BEA. Yes, if you're candid and confide in them. My love, if you want -to look better than Nature intended you---- - -KATE. As, of course, I do---- - -BEA. Confide in your chemist. Make some ridiculous excuse--say that -the family cat is in convulsions--and they will sell you nothing. They -know it's absurd. Say that you want to improve your complexion, and -they will sell you anything; they know it's the truth. - -KATE. My dear Mrs. Selwyn--for this information much thanks. (_moves -towards door, R.U.E._) - -BEA. Where are you going? - -KATE. To the chemist's. - -_Enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. May I come in? (_comes well on stage, R.C._) - -KATE. (_up C._) It seems to me you've come. (_between NORMANTOWER and -BEATRICE_) - -NOR. Yes; when I want to do anything particularly, I do it first and -ask permission afterwards. It prevents disappointment, and it's so -very easy to apologise. - -BEA. In this case no apology is needed. - -NOR. (_starting_) Mrs. Selwyn! excuse me for not seeing you. (_crosses -down to BEATRICE, standing R. of sofa. KATE turns up and resumes -watering plants, R.C._) How is Philip to-day? - -BEA. I'm sorry to say my husband is not at all well this morning. - -NOR. Old Lund seems to be making him worse instead of better. - -BEA. Sir Peter has now been here a week, and Philip has grown worse -every day. - -NOR. I'm sure _I_ oughtn't to find fault with Lund; he's polished off -nearly all my relations for me; but I'm not certain that I quite -believe in the old boy. There's too much M.D.F.S.A. about him. I never -knew a fool who hadn't half the alphabet at the end of his name. -(_turns away a few steps_) - -KATE. (_demurely_) At _which_ end my Lord Edward, Arthur, Henry, Earl -of Normantower? (_coming down to R. of NORMANTOWER, R.C., can in -hand. BEATRICE rises and goes to fire L., taking book with her_) - -NOR. Now, that's too bad of you, Miss Derwent. It's not my fault that -I've enough names to christen the family of a curate. - -KATE. Let this be a lesson to you. Don't throw stones at a friend of -mine! (_goes up to opening R.C._) - -NOR. Mine was a very little stone; yours was half a brick. (_KATE -continues watering the plants_) - -PHIL. (_off, L._) Beatrice! - -BEA. My husband! I must leave Miss Derwent to console you. She won't -have many more opportunities. (_goes up L._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! - -BEA. Yes, dear! I'm coming! (_exit L.D._) - -NOR. Not many more opportunities? What does she mean? (_standing -puzzled C.--turning his head to KATE_) - -KATE. (_in conservatory_) Mrs. Selwyn means that I am leaving -Ravenhurst. - -NOR. You're going away! (_goes up to KATE_) - -KATE. This afternoon. (R.) } - } _of opening, R.C._) -NOR. For good? (L.) } - -KATE. For Mrs. Selwyn's good. - -NOR. You don't mean to say she's given you notice. - -KATE. (_comes down R.C., as far as piano_) Mrs. Selwyn is too amiable -to give anybody notice; but when she wants to get rid of them, in the -most charming manner in the world, she makes them so exceedingly -uncomfortable that they give notice themselves. - -NOR. (_comes down L. of her_) But she can't possibly want to get rid -of _you?_ - -KATE. Why not? - -NOR. We're all in love with _you._ - -KATE. Are you? Perhaps that's the reason. Do you like plants? (_turns -suddenly, can in hand, so that the water is supposed to splash -NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. Blow plants! (_drawing back_) - -KATE. (_stopping_) _What_ plants? (_in opening R.C._) - -NOR. (_goes to fire, L., wiping his coat_) Any plants--all plants--I -hate 'em. - -KATE. (_crosses in conservatory to L.C._) I love them. I have been -watering my pets for the last time. - -NOR. (L.) I see. You've been standing them a parting drink. - -KATE. My lord! (_in opening L.C._) - -NOR. By the way, isn't tobacco very good for plants? (_crossing up to -C._) - -KATE. Excellent. Why do you ask? - -NOR. I was just thinking, while you are watering the plants in the -conservatory, it might be doing them a service if I were to smoke a -cigarette in the conservatory. (_producing case_) - -KATE. (_puts can down, L.C., behind flat, and comes down to -NORMANTOWER, C._) Not for the world! Lord Normantower, let me tell -you a shocking fact. The very odour of tobacco has such an effect upon -me, that if you were to light a cigarette---- - -NOR. (_putting case back_) It would make you uncomfortable? - -KATE. No! I should want to join you. - -NOR. No! - -KATE. There! you're shocked. (_goes down to sofa_) - -NOR. Not a bit of it. I like you, Miss Derwent, because you say what -you mean. - -KATE. Sometimes I say a great deal more than I mean. (_sits on sofa_) - -NOR. And sometimes I mean a great deal more than I can say. Miss -Derwent---- (_behind sofa, R. of KATE_) - -KATE. (_sitting_) Lord Normantower? - -NOR. What a strange thing it is that you have grown this old---- -(_KATE looks at him_) I mean, this young, without being married. - -KATE. I shall never marry. - -NOR. That's exactly my case. I've had one disappointment, and I don't -mean to have another. Once bit, twice shy, they say. - -KATE. _You_ have been bitten? - -NOR. (_goes to R.C._) Badly. But it's all for the best. It's made me -distrustful of women and a confirmed bachelor. (_returns to back of -sofa_) Why do people want to get married? - -KATE. I've often wondered. - -NOR. (_about to take her hand_) Miss Derwent, I've been so awfully -glad I'm a confirmed bachelor, ever since I met _you._ - -KATE. (_removing her hand, which his hand follows_) What difference -can that make? - -NOR. Well, you see, if I wasn't a confirmed bachelor, I might have -been married. - -KATE. Well? - -NOR. (_hand business repeated_) And if I was married, I couldn't marry -again. - -KATE. Of course not. - -NOR. And if I couldn't marry again, I couldn't marry---- - -KATE. Go on. Finish your sentence. - -NOR. (_seizing her hand_) You! - -_Enter SIR PETER, through conservatory, suddenly, R.U.E. They take -opposite sides of the stage; KATE, L.C., NORMANTOWER, R._ - -SIR P. Ah! I saw you! (_comes down C._) - -KATE. Sir Peter, I believe you have eyes in the small of your back. - -SIR P. Yes--and ears too. I heard you. - -NOR. Then, why did you interrupt us? - -SIR P. I thought it was time. You forget, that I am in the next -room--that the rooms communicate through the terrace--and that you had -not taken the precaution of shutting the outer door of the -conservatory. (_KATE and NORMANTOWER look at one another_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE L.D., she goes down L. to KATE._ - -BEA. Ah, doctor! Philip was asking for you. He has just got up. What -time's your train, Miss Derwent? - -KATE. Half-past two. I must be getting ready. (_NORMANTOWER turns up -and opens R.U.D., standing above it_) - -SIR P. Then, it's decided, you are going? - -KATE. Quite. But I shall see you again. (_crosses in front of SIR -PETER up to R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_comes to front of sofa_) The brougham is quite at your service. -(_KATE bows and exit R.U.D. NORMANTOWER speaks through open door to -her for a few moments_) - -SIR P. (C.) So Miss Derwent is leaving you? - -BEA. She wished to go. She has always been allowed to do as she -pleased here, and she has availed herself of the privilege. - -SIR P. (_looking at BEATRICE_) I see. (_enter PHILIP L.D._) - -BEA. Ah, here is Philip! (_goes to him, affectionately_) - -PHIL. Good morning, doctor. (_coming down with his arm round -BEATRICE_) Morning, Normantower. (_goes to sofa and sits. BEATRICE -goes to back of table L.C. and sits_) - -NOR. Sorry to hear you're not so well this morning. (_comes down R. -and sits at piano, facing PHILIP_) - -PHIL. I ought to get better, if the best of doctors and the most -devoted of nurses are of any use; but somehow I don't. - -SIR P. You get worse. (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. I shouldn't mind so much, if I didn't find my temper giving -way--just now, I spoke quite crossly to poor little Mousey here -(_takes her hand_)--and she was only carrying out your instructions. -(_to SIR PETER_) - -BEA. The fact is, doctor, he's a very naughty boy, and won't take his -medicine, though I always give it him with my own hands. He hasn't -taken any to-day. - -SIR P. Oh, you won't take your medicine? - -PHIL. It's such horrid stuff; and somehow, I always feel worse after -taking it. - -SIR P. So much the better. Shows it's doing you good. - -NOR. (_smiling_) That's all my eye, doctor. (_BEATRICE rises and goes -towards R.U.D._) - -SIR P. No, sir, it's all his liver. Oblige me by not interrupting. - -BEA. (_up R.C._) Come, Lord Normantower. (_NORMANTOWER rises, turns up -and opens R.U.D. for BEATRICE, who crosses in front of him. PHILIP -rises and goes to L._) Sir Peter would like to be alone with Philip. -(_exit BEATRICE R.U.D._) - -NOR. (_following--aside_) And I'd like to be alone with Miss Derwent. -(_exit NORMANTOWER_) - -PHIL. Now I am at your service. (_arranges easy chair and sits_) - -SIR P. (_goes to R. of table, L.C._) Have you made your will? - -PHIL. (_starts_) Well, you're a lively doctor! - -SIR P. Have you made your will? (_with emphasis_) - -PHIL. Am I so ill as that? (_aghast_) - -SIR P. Yes, sir--you are. - -PHIL. But if it's only my liver. - -SIR P. It is _not_ your liver. - -PHIL. Is it my heart? Is anything wrong there? - -SIR P. Nothing of any consequence. It's rather too large, and rather -too soft--that's all that's wrong with your heart. - -PHIL. What is it then? - -SIR P. (_sits on sofa_) I can account for your condition, only on one -hypothesis, and that one is out of the question. - -PHIL. Mayn't I know what it is? - -SIR P. Since it's out of the question, it's no use discussing it. You -haven't answered me. Have you made your will? - -PHIL. Yes--long ago. It was a very simple matter. Mildred is provided -for; so I have left everything to my wife, absolutely. (_SIR PETER -rises and rings the bell, below fire, crossing in front_) - -PHIL. Do you want anything? - -SIR P. Yes. The name and address of your solicitor. - -PHIL. Old Merivale, of High Street! why? (_enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., she -comes on to R.C._) - -SIR P. (_crosses to C._) Mr. Selwyn's compliments to Mr. Merivale, -Solicitor, High Street, and will he kindly come here at once? (_exit -JOHNSON R.U.D. SIR PETER returns to R. of table_) - -PHIL. What for? - -SIR P. To draw your will. - -PHIL. But I tell you, I've made it. - -SIR P. You must make another. (_sits, produces documents, and puts on -pince-nez_) - -PHIL. Sir Peter, you are incomprehensible! - -SIR P. Let me make myself clear. Your father, Philip Selwyn, was -married to your mother, Mildred Kent, in July, 1865. I need not show -you the certificate. - -PHIL. Of course not. - -SIR P. Two years before, in March, 1863, one Philip Derwent was -married to one Kate Graham. - -PHIL. Derwent? Kate? Miss Derwent's father, I presume? - -SIR P. Yes. There is the certificate. - -PHIL. I don't want to see it. - -SIR P. But I want you to see it. (_gives it to PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_glances at it and returns it_) How does it concern me? - -SIR P. It concerns _her_, doesn't it? - -PHIL. Of course. - -SIR P. And she being your half-sister, it concerns _you_. - -PHIL. Miss Derwent, my half-sister! What do you mean? - -SIR P. That Philip Selwyn and Philip Derwent were one and the same -person. - -PHIL. Sir Peter! - -SIR P. Of that I have no proof, except your father's word. - -PHIL. My father's word? - -SIR P. Given to me on his death-bed. Do you _doubt_ his word? Do you -doubt mine? - -PHIL. No--but I cannot grasp it! Am I awake, or am I dreaming? I have -such strange dreams. - -SIR P. You are awake--and for the first time in your life. Till -to-day, you have been living in a dream. - -PHIL. My father was a widower, when he married my mother? Why did he -not say so? Why did he change his name? - -SIR P. Because he was _not_ a widower. - -PHIL. Not a widower! - -SIR P. Because his first wife was alive---- - -PHIL. Alive! (_leaning well forward_) - -SIR P. There is the certificate of her death--twenty years later. - -(_PHILIP takes it, looks at it blankly, drops back into seat._) - -PHIL. (_after a short pause_) Incredible! - -SIR P. I haven't half done yet. - -PHIL. Go on--go on. (_leaning forward again to table and placing -certificate on it_) - -SIR P. You inherited from your father everything you possess? - -PHIL. Everything! - -SIR P. He bequeathed to you, and your sister Mildred, all his fortune? - -PHIL. All. - -SIR P. Where did he get that fortune? - -PHIL. Well? - -SIR P. From his first wife. - -PHIL. (_springing up_) It's false! it _must_ be false! - -SIR P. (_rises_) I have his word for it, and it can be proved. He left -her penniless; and left his child to struggle with the world as best -they could--and nobly they did it. Yes, sir, it is too true. The -father you have loved and honoured _was_---- - -PHIL. (_extending his arms, as if to stop SIR PETER_) My father! (_SIR -PETER stands for a moment, nonplussed_) - -SIR P. Was your father--just so. (_turns off. SIR PETER picks up -certificate from table and goes to R.C. down stage, folding papers -which he returns to his pocket, PHILIP leans on mantel-piece--aside, -looking at PHILIP_) Takes it very well. - -PHIL. (_goes to L.C., helping himself by table_) I want to ask you one -question. Dare I? (_they stand looking at one another for an instant_) - -SIR P. You mean, your mother. - -PHIL. Yes. - -SIR P. She knew nothing of this. - -PHIL. Thank heaven for that--thank heaven! (_falls heavily into sofa, -and sobs upon the table_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, followed by KATE, in travelling dress, R.U.D. SIR -PETER down R. PHILIP sits up._ - -BEA. (_up C._) Philip dear, Miss Derwent has come to say good-bye to -you. She is going. (_crosses behind and goes down L. of table_) - -PHIL. (_rising_) She is _not_ going. (_SIR PETER turns up to piano_) - -KATE. (_crosses down to PHILIP_) The brougham is at the door, Mr. -Selwyn, and I have left myself barely time to catch the train; but I -could not go without shaking hands with you, and thanking you for all -your kindness. I came here a stranger, and I have found almost a -brother. (_offers her two hands_) - -PHIL. (_taking and holding them_) Yes, you _have_ found a brother; and -_I_ have found a sister. - -KATE. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Whom I have wronged without knowing it--of whose very existence -I was unaware till this moment; but whom I know at last, and to whom I -will make restitution. - -BEA. Philip? (_advances a step; PHILIP turns to BEATRICE_) - -KATE. (_turning to SIR PETER_) You have broken your promise! - -SIR P. I made no promise. (_sits R. by piano, interested in scene_) - -PHIL. Yes, Beatrice, this is my sister---- - -KATE. (_C., breaking out_) But you need not acknowledge me. I ask for -nothing but to go away. Let the past be forgotten. Of what use is it -to revive a sorrow that is dead, and to publish a sin that is unknown? -(_to SIR PETER_) It cannot be right to make three beings unhappy, to -do justice to one, when all that one asks is to go away. - -PHIL. You know, then? - -KATE. Everything! - -PHIL. And you have said nothing! - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa_) Because you have taught me to love you! -(_PHILIP sinks on sofa_) I want you to be happy--I want to be happy -myself--and if I wreck your happiness, I shall destroy my own. All I -ask is to go--let me go! let me go! (_goes to SIR PETER who rises and -checks her, and then sits again_) - -PHIL. It is for me to go. This place belongs to you. - -BEA. (L.C.) To her? (_front of table_) - -PHIL. Yes, all I have is hers. (_turning to BEATRICE_) Beatrice, my -father was not married to my mother legally--he was married -before--Kate is his lawful child--the money he left me was her -mother's--and to her it must be restored, to the last shilling. - -SIR P. (_rises_) Nonsense! this is quixotic! - -PHIL. (_peremptorily_) I know what my duty is, and it shall be done. -(_to BEATRICE_) Am I not right? - -BEA. (_humbly_) Yes, Philip. - -PHIL. (_goes to KATE, C., takes her hand and puts arm round her; to -KATE_) You have battled with the world long enough. Now it is _my_ -turn. Till to-day I have been living in a fool's paradise, but now I -have awaken from my dream. I am not afraid, because I am not alone. -(_goes slowly to BEATRICE and takes her hand_) Many things have been -taken from me. My fortune, my good name, my father's memory--all these -are gone! but you are left to me. I have a wife to work for, whose -love will sustain me; who will share my trials as she has shared my -prosperity. (_goes towards KATE_) Don't fear for me. I will fight and -I will conquer. (_dropping exhausted_) Ah, if I were only stronger! -(_on sofa; BEATRICE goes to fire, L._) - -SIR P. (_goes to KATE who is R. of sofa; to KATE who is about to -speak_) You have said enough. Remember, your brother is an invalid. -(_goes to R.C._) - -PHIL. But I _won't_ be an invalid--I'll make my will to-day. - -BEA. _Another_ will? (_at fire_) - -PHIL. Leaving Kate everything. - -KATE. (_to back of sofa, R. of PHILIP_) Philip! I _must_ speak, for -our sister's sake. If you have no thought for yourself, have some for -her. - -PHIL. Mildred is provided for already. I cannot deal with _her_ money; -but I can with my own. - -KATE. It is not a question of money. Remember, if this secret is made -known---- - -PHIL. Ah! - -KATE. What will be said of her? - -PHIL. That never crossed my thoughts. - -KATE. (_goes down a few steps, C._) Think of it now. It is not too -late. - -PHIL. Oh! (_pressing his hands to his temples_) What am I to do? - -KATE. (_to R. of sofa, below it and kneels_) Do what is best for -everyone. Accept a favour from a sister who asks you--on her knees! -Keep our secret! Remain here--the master of Ravenhurst. Philip! For -Mildred's sake. - -PHIL. (_opening his arms_) Kate! may God bless you! - -KATE. Brother! (_falling into his arms. BEATRICE stands with her head -bowed submissively_) - -SIR P. (_comes to KATE who rises, he takes her away R.C. a few steps_) -There, that's settled. Now, let my patient have a little rest. - -PHIL. (_to KATE, who moves away_) You won't go far? You won't leave -Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. (_prompting KATE_) No. - -KATE. No. - -PHIL. You will stay here--under this roof? - -SIR P. (_prompting_) Yes. - -KATE. If I am welcome--for the present--yes. - -PHIL. And for the future? - -BEA. (_crosses to C._) Yes. Your sister will be always welcome here. -(_takes KATE'S hand. KATE bows to her and exit R.I.D. BEATRICE turns -to PHILIP caressingly_) - -SIR P. (_following--aside_) Damn'd good actress, that woman! (_exit -R._) - -PHIL. How can I thank you, Beatrice? How can I tell you bow proud I am -of you, and how I love you? (_holding both her hands, draws her down -by his side_) Oh, my darling wife, how can I soften this blow which -has fallen upon you? (_embracing her_) - -BEA. Philip, don't think of _me._ - -PHIL. (_R. arm round her_) But I _must_ think of you, who never think -of yourself. If I were to die? (_L. hand holding hers_) - -BEA. Dearest, don't talk of death. (_withdraws hand_) - -PHIL. (_takes his arm from her, and leans forward_) I am more ill than -I seem--more ill than anybody knows. I can't help thinking of death, -for every day it seems to draw nearer and nearer. I can feel it -coming--slowly, mysteriously, weirdly--gathering about me--wrapping me -round and round. (_almost to himself_) - -BEA. (_rises_) Hush, Philip, hush! You are tired. (_goes away two -steps to C._) Shall I leave you for a while? - -PHIL. No, no! Don't go away. (_holding out his hands as she moves up -to back of sofa, R. of him_) You are all I have left, mousey. I am not -tired; but oh, I feel so drowsy! I seem to get worse every day. - -BEA. And why, my dear? Because you won't take your medicine. Come. Let -me bring it you now. (_goes towards L.D._) - -PHIL. That beastly medicine! Perhaps I'd better take it; but I shall -have no head to talk to old Merivale, when he comes. - -BEA. You've sent for him? (_behind chair back of table_) - -PHIL. I expect him every minute. - -BEA. Then, there's no time to be lost. I'll bring it you at once. -(_goes L._) - -PHIL. I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey? (_R. end of sofa facing her_) - -BEA. In what way? (_at door L._) - -PHIL. In making this new will. - -BEA. You always do right, Philip. - -PHIL. I have your acquiescence? - -BEA. Certainly. - -PHIL. Then, I will lose no time. It shall be made to-day. - -_Exit BEATRICE, L.D._ - -PHIL. (_knock at door, R._) Who is it? - -_Enter TOM R.U.D., followed closely by MILDRED, arm in arm._ - -TOM. (_up R.C._) Only me, Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_up R.C._) Only _I,_ Tom. - -TOM. Oh, bother grammar! (_releases her arm, they come down to C._) - -PHIL. Well, children? How are _you_ to-day? - -TOM. (_L. of MILDRED_) Oh, we're all right; but, I say, Mr. Selwyn, I -wish everybody wouldn't call us "children." I don't like it. - -MIL. And it's not true. - -TOM. I'm turned sixteen. - -MIL. And I'm fifteen next birthday! - -PHIL. Well, then, my man and woman, what do you want? - -TOM. You tell him, Mildred! } - } (_half whispered_) -MIL. No--_you_ tell him, Tom! } - -TOM. Are you quite well enough to stand a shock? - -PHIL. What, are you studying electricity? Or is it some toy? - -TOM. Electricity! (_with contempt--turns up C., and down again_) - -MIL. A toy! - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn, you make it jolly hard for a fellow to say what he -wants to say--just when he wants a leg up. - -MIL. Tom! "A leg up?" - -TOM. Oh, bother style! Let me say what I mean. - -PHIL. And what do you mean, my lad? (_smiling_) - -TOM. If you please--we want to get married. (_rather frightened, -taking MILDRED'S hand, and retreating with her up to R.C., facing -PHILIP_) - -PHIL. (_suddenly serious_) Want to get married? - -MIL. That's the shock! - -TOM. (_aside to her_) Now for it. (_holding her tight_) Don't run -away--_I_ won't! - -PHIL. You are both too young to think about such things! - -TOM. (_sturdily_) I'm sure we're not too young--(_down to C._) - -MIL. To _think_ about such things. - -PHIL. Well, to talk about them. - -MIL. (_crosses TOM to PHILIP, back of sofa. Imploringly_) Philip! - -TOM. Mildred, this is no place for you. (_hands her across to R.U.D._) -Leave me alone with Mr. Selwyn. - -MIL. (_aside to TOM_) Tom! You won't come to blows? (_at R.U.D._) - -TOM. (_L. of her, aside to her_) I will control myself. I will not -forget the respect that is due to the brother of my affianced wife. - -MIL. That's right, Tom. - -TOM. Wait for me--on the mat. (_exit MILDRED, R.U.D. TOM comes boldly -down to C._) Now, Mr. Selwyn, we are alone. We can discuss this matter -as men of the world. - -PHIL. My dear Tom-- (_TOM draws himself up_) Mr. Verinder--Such a -thing as marriage at your early age is, of course, preposterous; but I -wish you distinctly to understand that the remotest idea of an -engagement between you and Mildred is equally out of the question. - -TOM. May I ask why, sir? - -PHIL. You belong to a very proud family; and there are reasons which -you would scarcely understand---- - -TOM. Mr. Selwyn! - -PHIL. Which, at any rate, I can't enter into--that make it impossible -you should ever marry my sister. - -TOM. That is your ultimatum? (_a step towards PHILIP_) - -PHIL. Yes. (_sighing_) - -TOM. Good day, sir. (_walks to the door, R., with importance, suddenly -breaks down--exit blubbering, R.U.D._) - -PHIL. (_rises_) Poor Tom! He's only a boy, but he's a gentleman! -(_goes to fire, L., and leans on mantle_) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., pouring medicine out of a medicine bottle -into a medicine glass, in which she has already put the poison. She -comes down C. to R. of table._ - -BEA. Here it is, Philip. (_hands glass to him_) - -PHIL. Oh dear me, how tired I am of the horrid stuff! (_takes glass, -and sits wearily L. of table_) Surely you have given me too much? - -BEA. No--just the right measure. See! (_between table and sofa, -holding up bottle_) - -PHIL. How many doses are there left? - -BEA. (_with bottle_) Only three more. (_puts bottle on R. of table, -and goes round behind to back of PHILIP_) Now, drink it up without -thinking about it; and if, like a good boy, you don't leave a drop, -you shall have a kiss afterwards, to take the taste away. - -PHIL. Well, I suppose I must. (_raises glass to his lips--about to -drink, BEATRICE watches him eagerly_) - -_Enter JOHNSON, R.U.D., quickly._ - -JOHN. (_up R.C._) Oh, if you please'm! (_pants_) - -(_PHILIP puts glass down on L. side of table_) - -BEA. (_annoyed_) What's the matter, Johnson? (_moves a little towards -JOHNSON_) - -JOHN. Miss Mildred---- (_out of breath_) - -PHIL. What of Miss Mildred? - -JOHN. She is in hysterics. - -PHIL. Mildred ill! (_rises and goes quickly across R. Exeunt JOHNSON -and PHILIP R.U.D._) - -BEA. (_follows across to R.C. up stage_) Never mind Mildred! Philip -dear! (_stamps her foot_) Only another second and---- (_moves down C. -looking at glass_) - -PHIL. (_off_) Beatrice! - -_Re-enter TOM breathless, R._ - -TOM. Oh, Mrs. Selwyn, please do come to Mildred! She's in a fit, or -something. (_R. of BEATRICE_) - -BEA. Nonsense! - -TOM. Do come, please! (_passes behind to L. of her_) The shock has -been too much for her. - -_Re-enter PHILIP quickly._ - -PHIL. Beatrice! Quick! (_TOM has her L. hand, PHILIP her right; they -force her to the door between them; as BEATRICE exits she looks back -at glass on table_) - -BEA. In a moment! (_glancing at glass_) - -TOM. Come along! - -PHIL. Beatrice! do come! (_exeunt R. upper door. The door shuts with a -bang. Music in orchestra_) - -_SIR PETER appears in the conservatory, and enters from R._ - -SIR P. Nobody here. Perhaps he's lying down. (_taps at door, L._) -Nobody there. They've gone downstairs. (_comes down to C. passing -behind sofa_) He must be better, then. (_music stops, pause, lost in -thought_) Peter, my boy, if anyone had told you, you could study a -case as you have studied this, for a week, and not be able to make -head or tail of it, you would have kicked--pulled his nose for him. -(_goes to R. of table._) What _is_ the matter with this man? Of course -it _might_ be--but that's out of the question. (_sits on sofa_) Ah, -there's his medicine. What did he say? He always felt worse after -taking it. I don't know why he should. Only a tonic, with a nasty -flavour. People like nasty medicine. Think it does 'em good. (_rises, -tastes it_) Well--_it is_ nasty. (_starts slightly as he tastes it on -his tongue--lifts glass to light, examines it, then smells it, smells -it again, tastes again cautiously by his finger, sets the glass down, -and stands looking at it_) Nothing's out of the question! I ought to -have known it. (_pours dose into the goblet, smells and tastes the -bottle_) That's all right. (_music in orchestra. Pours out another -dose into the glass, which he replaces exactly where he found it, -recorks the bottle and exit slowly with goblet through conservatory, -R., pausing in C. a moment to examine medicine._) - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R., quickly, sees the medicine, stops short and -resumes her wonted manner; down C. Re-enter PHILIP, R.; music stops._ - -PHIL. She's better now; but I was rather alarmed. (_down to C._) - -BEA. Poor child! (_goes to fire L._) - -PHIL. She'll soon get over it. Only a girlish fancy. Where did I put -that medicine? (_looking about_) - -BEA. Here it is, dear. (_gives him the glass--advancing to him_) - -PHIL. (_grimacing_) You can't think how I hate it. - -BEA. Don't be so absurd. I declare, you're as great a baby as _she_ -is. (_backs up stage, watching him_) - -PHIL. One--two--three! (_drinks it off. BEATRICE gives a sigh of -satisfaction_) Ugh! Give me some water. (_goes to piano and puts glass -down_) - -BEA. (_passes behind table down to L. of it_) Why, the tumbler is -gone! Who can have taken it? (_looking about_) - -PHIL. Johnson, I daresay. (_sits R. by piano_) All right; I'm better -now. That's one dose less to take. (_Re-enter SIR PETER through -conservatory, with the goblet empty_) Three more, I think you said. - -BEA. (_holds up bottle_) But there are only _two!_ (_alarmed_) -Someone's been here! - -SIR P. Yes, _I_ have. (_comes down C. to R. of sofa_) - -BEA. (_terrified_) _You!_ - -SIR P. Your husband complained of his medicine. I thought I'd test it; -so I took a dose. - -BEA. (_dismayed_) _You_ took it? (_puts bottle on table_) - -SIR P. Yes. (_looking at her_) - -PHIL. A doctor take a dose of his own medicine! - -SIR P. Only to my room. (_advances to R. of table_) Allow me to return -you the glass. (_gives goblet to BEATRICE_) - -PHIL. And you have tested it? - -SIR P. Yes. - -BEA. (_prepared for the worst_) With what result? - -SIR P. With none. As I expected, just what I prescribed. (_sits on -sofa. BEATRICE, intensely relieved, turns aside to hide her emotion, -as if to put goblet on mantel-piece, L._) - -PHIL. And what did you prescribe, Sir Peter? What is this stuff you're -giving me? - -SIR P. A very common medicine. (_crossing his legs_) - -PHIL. But what is it? - -SIR P. (_With his eyes fixed on BEATRICE_) Arsenic. (_PHILIP'S face -falls. BEATRICE turns quickly, dropping the goblet, which is shivered -to fragments_) - -Quick Act Drop. - -_Time: Thirty minutes. Wait: Eleven minutes._ - - -ACT III. - -SCENE.--_Same as Act II. It is after dinner, the room is lighted. -Evening dress. KATE is discovered at piano, finishing a song; -NORMANTOWER standing beside her. TOM, L., and MILDRED, R., are seated -on the centre seat, taking no notice of anybody, and looking the -pictures of woe. BEATRICE'S fan on piano. Lights full up in front. -Blue limes in conservatory._ - -NOR. Thanks, awfully! (_R. of KATE, above her_) - -KATE. That's Mr. Selwyn's favourite--(_rising_)--the music's pretty, -but such stupid words. (_crosses down to C., NORMANTOWER follows her_) - -NOR. Yes, but you sing them with such an expression. - -KATE. Such an appropriate expression? - -_Enter SERVANTS, R.U.D., with coffee, etc., which they hand to KATE. -PRICE enters first, followed by SERVANT. The former carries large -salver with cups of coffee; the latter, sugar and milk on small -salver. They go down to back of sofa._ - -NOR. Yes, that's what I meant. Such an appropriate expression! - -KATE. (_laughing_) Of stupidity? (_goes to sofa_) - -NOR. No, no! That isn't what I meant. Oh dear, I never _can_ say what -I want to say, to you. - -KATE. Shall I assist you? - -NOR. If you only would! (_C.R. of sofa_) - -KATE. I mean to sugar. - -NOR. _I_ meant to sugar. - -KATE. Cream? - -NOR. Thanks awfully. (_KATE hands cup to NORMANTOWER, and takes -another herself, and sits on sofa, L. of it_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I _didn't_ mean sugar, but I _must_ agree with her. - -_SERVANTS offer coffee to TOM and then to MILDRED; they simply reverse -their attitudes, without taking further notice. Exeunt SERVANTS -R.U.D._ - -KATE. (_cup in hand_) Is that as you like it? - -NOR. (_seating himself by her_) This is just as I like it. So, it's -quite settled, you're going to stay here? (_on sofa_) - -KATE. Yes, I find I can't tear myself away from Ravenhurst--I'm a -fixture. - -NOR. I say! are you a landlord's or a tenant's fixture? - -KATE. Oh, I'm attached to the freehold--very much attached to it. - -NOR. That's a pity. I thought perhaps you were removable. - -KATE. What if I were? - -NOR. I should like to remove you, that's all. - -KATE. I thought you were a confirmed bachelor? - -NOR. That's just it. That's what makes it so jolly, I being a -confirmed bachelor, and you being a confirmed old maid---- - -KATE. _Old_ maid? - -NOR. I mean, you _will_ be an old maid--in time. - -KATE. You didn't say so. - -NOR. But I _meant,_ in time. So there's no danger. We can do what we -like. - -KATE. Of course, we can do what we like. - -NOR. We can talk together. - -KATE. We can walk together. - -NOR. We can sing together! - -KATE. Do you mean, in time? - -NOR. Miss Derwent, it was _you_ who were out of time yesterday. That -was a crotchet. - -KATE. Nay, it was a quaver. - -NOR. A crotchet. } (_rising, crossing to R. and putting - } _ad lib._ down cup on piano_) -KATE. A quaver. } (_rising and putting down cup on - table L. and then cross to R.C._) - -NOR. Here is the music--see. (_takes it from piano and comes to her -R.C._) - -_Enter BEATRICE, L.D., and sits unobserved, on sofa._ - -KATE. (_pointing to note_) What did I tell you? - -NOR. You said a quaver. - -KATE. No, I said a crotchet. - -NOR. Oh! - -KATE. Certainly, a crotchet. This is how it goes. (_takes the music, -crosses him, and sits at piano and sings one verse of a song_) - -NOR. (_enraptured_) Thanks--oh thanks, awfully. (_standing on her R._) - -BEA. Rather high for you, isn't it, my dear? (_both turn_) - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! (_turns and advances C._) - -KATE. (_rises_) I beg your pardon? - -BEA. Your voice is so charming, it is a pity to strain it. - -KATE. (_goes down R.C._) I wasn't aware I had an audience. I was -simply endeavouring to convince Lord Normantower that a crotchet is -not a quaver. I was not attempting to sing. - -BEA. My love, you are too modest. I never heard you sing better. -(_KATE grimaces aside_) - -NOR. (_aside_) I think, I'd better turn the conversation. (_Goes to R. -of sofa_) How is Philip, this evening? - -KATE. Yes, how is Mr. Selwyn? - -BEA. I'm glad to say, much stronger. - -NOR. That's good news. I was afraid, as Sir Peter did not dine with -us, your husband was worse. - -BEA. Sir Peter has been with him all the afternoon, and has announced -his intention of remaining till he has solved the mystery of Philip's -illness. It is really very kind of Sir Peter. - -KATE. Sir Peter is kindness itself. (_returns to piano, and sits_) - -BEA. You can imagine what a satisfaction it is to me, to know that my -husband is in such excellent care. - -NOR. But has he formed no opinion as to what is the matter with -Philip? - -BEA. He seems to think, it is nothing worse than an aggravated case of -dyspepsia, and he attaches the greatest importance to diet. He has -forbidden poor Philip almost everything. Sir Peter is a little -crotchety, but he is paying the greatest attention to the case. And -he's so clever! I am charmed with him. (_NORMANTOWER crosses to piano, -and stands R. of KATE who plays softly. TOM rises, crosses to MILDRED -and takes her hand. She rises, and they advance down a step R.C._) - -TOM. (_aside to MILDRED_) Could you die, Mildred? - -MIL. I want to, Tom. - -TOM. Then let's die together! - -MIL. Yes--but how? - -TOM. I don't know. That's the worst of me. I'm so beastly ignorant. - -MIL. There's a pond at the bottom of the garden. - -TOM. Is there? - -MIL. Six feet deep. - -TOM. Let's go at once. - -MIL. And throw ourselves in? - -TOM. We'll have a look at it first. (_exit with MILDRED R.C. to R._) - -(_PHILIP heard off L. KATE stops playing._) - -KATE. Surely that's Mr. Selwyn! (_BEATRICE rises and goes across up to -opening R.C., following TOM and MILDRED_) - -(_SIR PETER heard off L._) - -NOR. Here they are, both of them. - -_Enter PHILIP, followed by SIR PETER, L.D. SIR PETER goes down L., -puts snuff-box on mantel, and stands with back to fire; PHILIP comes -to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets him._ - -KATE. You, Mr. Selwyn. Then you're better! - -PHIL. Yes--feeling another man. I've even been attending to business, -with my solicitor. (_KATE turns away up to R.C._) I must admit, Sir -Peter's treatment is justified by the result, but I can't say I -altogether relish it. (_to NORMANTOWER_) What do you think he's giving -me? (_down, front of sofa_) - -NOR. What? (_advances to C._) - -PHIL. Arsenic. (_sitting on sofa_) - -NOR. Gracious me! (_BEATRICE comes down, and sits R. by piano_) - -KATE. (_comes down, L. of BEATRICE_) Arsenic! That's nothing! Many -ladies take it. - -NOR. Ladies take arsenic! (_turning to KATE_) - -KATE. Don't they, Mrs. Selwyn? - -BEA. I should hope not, Miss Derwent. - -KATE. _You_ never heard of such a thing, of course? - -NOR. What do they take it for? - -SIR P. My dear young gentleman, have you lived six and twenty years -without discovering that the female complexion is usually an -artificial product? - -NOR. Well, I know a powder-puff when I see one, but arsenic! (_turns -up a little C. with KATE_) - -SIR P. Pooh! a common drug! - -BEA. Miss Derwent, so sorry to trouble you--but the night dews are -falling, and Mildred has gone out without a shawl. - -KATE. I'll get one at once. (_exit, R., upper door_) - -NOR. Yes--we'll get one at once. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -(_Directly NORMANTOWER is off, PRICE and SERVANT re-enter, R.U.D., -with coffee, which they offer to BEATRICE, who is sitting R. by -piano._) - -PHIL. I must say, I agree with Normantower. When you told me what you -were giving me, it was rather a shock even to me, and it nearly -frightened poor Beatrice out of her life. - -BEA. Philip, don't speak of it. (_takes coffee_) Don't you remember -what happened? - -PHIL. You broke a glass. - -BEA. And breaking glass is so unlucky. - -(_SERVANTS cross and offer coffee to PHILIP, who takes a cup without -milk and sugar, SIR PETER not noticing. They then pass behind to SIR -PETER, who takes coffee. PRICE clears KATE'S cup from the table, then -crosses, followed by SERVANT and exeunt R.U.D._) - -PHIL. Mousey, you'll make Sir Peter laugh at you. (_NORMANTOWER talks -to KATE_) - -SIR P. Why should I? - -PHIL. Surely _you_ don't believe in luck? (_takes coffee_) - -SIR P. Everybody believes in luck, except fools, who attribute their -successes to their merits. My experience teaches me differently. I -know, one may study a case for a week, and master it only by -accident--as I have mastered yours. (_exeunt SERVANTS_) - -BEA. (_rises_) You've mastered Philip's? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. Yes. As I suspected. Liver. - -BEA. Ah! Then, after all, it is only dyspepsia? - -SIR P. (L.) _Only_ dyspepsia, madam! What's the word suffering -from?--vice--crime--drink--poverty? What are they all? Indigestion. - -PHIL. My wife means, nothing dangerous--one can hardly die of -dyspepsia. - -SIR P. Sir, one can die of anything. If you only knew the number of -things one can die of, you'd wonder any of us are alive. (_PHILIP -laughs and lifts his cup to drink_) What have you there? (_going up to -back of table_) - -PHIL. Only some coffee. - -SIR P. Put it down, sir, instantly. (_hand on table_) - -BEA. Mayn't he have coffee, doctor? - -SIR P. (_crosses behind sofa to C._) Coffee! Most indigestible! Have I -not given my orders? He is to taste nothing more to-day, except one -dose of medicine before going to bed. (_BEATRICE goes to piano, puts -her cup down and picks up her fan_) - -PHIL. Another dose, to-night? - -SIR P. One more; it's most important. (_rises_) - -BEA. Is Mr. Merivale still here? (_at piano_) - -PHIL. Oh no, he went some time ago. - -BEA. (_quickly_) Then have you made the will? - -PHIL. Not yet. (_SIR PETER watches BEATRICE closely_) Merivale insists -on making his own inquiries before taking any other steps in the -matter. If Sir Peter's information is confirmed, he will accept my -instructions. I am to see him again at twelve o'clock to-morrow. - -BEA. Twelve o'clock? - -SIR P. Now you must rest. You've had a trying day (_hand on PHILIP's -shoulder_) (_PHILIP rises and stands back to audience_) - -BEA. (_BEATRICE advances to SIR PETER_) You needn't trouble, doctor. -_I_ will go with Philip. - -SIR P. Thank you--it is no trouble. Come, my boy. (_PHILIP takes his -R. arm, and they go up_) - -PHIL. (_up L.C._) How can I repay you for all your attention? - -SIR P. By obeying me to the letter. Diet's the great thing; and the -less the better. Eat nothing--drink nothing. - -PHIL. But one dose of medicine. - -SIR P. Just one more. (_exit with PHILIP, L.U.D., music in orchestra_) - -BEA. (_behind sofa, R. of it_) One more! My last chance--and I dare -not take it. At twelve o'clock to-morrow, all I have worked for, all I -have schemed for, all I have married for, slips through my fingers. -(_gets front of sofa_) And I can do nothing! No, it is too dangerous; -and if I stop now, I am safe enough. But what is safety worth? Tied to -my husband for his life, and at his death, a pauper! Whilst she--_she_ -will be the Countess of Normantower! Unless--unless--(_sits on sofa -smiling to herself_). He doesn't know that she is Philip's sister. It -is arranged it shall be kept a secret. Then, why is Philip leaving her -his fortune? If I could make him think there was another reason. He is -in love, and love is always jealous. If I could only sow a doubt -between them. Countess of Normantower! What I have thrown away! -(_music stops_) - -_Re-enter NORMANTOWER, R.U.D._ - -NOR. (_goes to C._) It's all right. We've found the shawl. - -BEA. Did it take two to find it? - -NOR. It took two to look for it. Miss Derwent looked everywhere for -the shawl, and I looked everywhere for Miss Derwent. - -BEA. You are great friends. - -NOR. Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. I like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort. - -BEA. I thought you hated all women. - -NOR. On the contrary, I am never so happy as in the society of ladies. - -BEA. You, who are always raving against marriage. - -NOR. That's the reason. To marry is to devote oneself to an -individual; whilst a bachelor can devote himself to the sex. Besides, -I have to study economy--and it comes cheaper on taking a quantity. - -BEA. Perhaps, you are right. Marriage is a terrible lottery. - -NOR. You should be thankful you have drawn a prize. - -BEA. Don't mock me. - -NOR. I'm sure you couldn't have a better husband than Philip. He's one -of the best fellows in the world. - -BEA. Ah! there's only one prize--to a woman. - -NOR. (_aside_) She means me. (_two steps away_) - -BEA. All the rest are blanks. And sometimes worse than blanks. - -NOR. (_aside_) This is damn'd awkward! (_a further movement R.C._) - -BEA. (_rises_) Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation which I have -had no opportunity of giving you. Your time is so much occupied, and -we are so seldom alone. - -NOR. (_aside, R.C._) I wish somebody'd come! - -BEA. (C.) When you first came to Ravenhurst, I made what must have -seemed a very strange avowal. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn, I have tried to forget it, and I hope you will -assist me. And the best way to forget it, is not to say anything about -it. - -BEA. I have tried to be silent--but in justice to myself, I must -speak. You know my marriage was not my own wish; but having married, -do me the justice to believe I would have been a true and loyal wife, -if Philip had been all you think he is. - -NOR. Philip? - -BEA. I have accepted my lot without a murmur. Even now, my only wish -is that you should not think too harshly of my indiscretion; but at -the sight of you, the old times came back so vividly, that words -sprang to my lips which I should not have spoken, even under such -provocation as mine. - -NOR. I have known Philip nearly all my life, and this is the first -breath I ever heard against him. I can't help thinking you must be -mistaken. - -BEA. Think so--by all means think so! I do not ask for pity or for -sympathy. I only said so much in self-defence. Now I have done. (_goes -to L._) - -NOR. (_aside_) Thank goodness! - -BEA. But you are quite right to remain a bachelor. Marriage is a -mistake. (_sitting in easy chair L._) - -NOR. (_goes to L.C._) There are two ways of looking at it; and, after -all, one ought to see both sides. I've looked at one for so long, I'm -seriously thinking of taking a turn at the other. (_sits on sofa_) - -BEA. You contemplate being married? - -NOR. Well, I have had some thoughts of it. (_toying with BEATRICE'S -fan which she has left on sofa_) - -BEA. Whom shall I have the pleasure of congratulating? - -NOR. Oh, I don't know. I haven't asked her yet--at least, not -properly. I'm sort of--feeling my way. - -BEA. I don't think you need fear. - -NOR. D'you think she'll have me--really! - -BEA. Of course, I don't know who the lady is. - -NOR. Oh, yes you do, Miss Derwent. - -BEA. (_rises suddenly_) Miss Derwent? - -NOR. Yes, of course. You must have seen I'm awfully gone on her. - -BEA. And you propose to marry her. - -NOR. Well I should like to. - -BEA. (_drops back into seat_) What am I to say? - -NOR. What do you mean? - -BEA. Nothing. I only meant--rather a mesalliance, isn't it? - -NOR. I don't see that at all. I'm no great catch. I'm as poor as a -church mouse. - -BEA. A coronet is something. - -NOR. Pooh! What's a coronet? A thing they stick about on hansom cabs. -Sixpence a mile. - -BEA. And don't you owe a duty to your family? - -NOR. My family owe a great deal more to me, but there's precious -little chance of their stumping up. - -BEA. (_rises_) Let me see. How long have you known Miss Derwent? -(_front of table_) - -NOR. About a week. (_R. end of sofa, facing her_) - -BEA. And don't you think it's dangerous, to marry on so short an -acquaintance? - -NOR. To marry anybody else, it would be. Not to marry _her._ - -BEA. Have you told Philip? - -NOR. No--what's _he_ to do with it? - -BEA. (_crosses to R.C._) Nothing, of course! No, nothing. Why should I -tell you! (_hand on chair L. of piano_) Why should I publish my own -humiliation? And yet, we are such old friends, how can I stand by, and -see your whole life ruined? No! Lord Normantower, this marriage is -impossible. (_goes towards LORD NORMANTOWER_) - -NOR. (_rises_) I don't see that at all. - -BEA. You are in love, and blind! Has it never struck you? Why is Miss -Derwent here? - -NOR. Isn't she Mildred's governess? - -BEA. Mildred requires no governess. - -NOR. Well, her companion--yours. - -BEA. Mine! _My_ companion! Yes, you are right there. Yes, my -companion--in my husband's heart. (_goes down to R.C._) - -NOR. Surely, you cannot mean--(_follows a step_) - -BEA. My rival! Yes! I mean, that Philip is her lover. - -NOR. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. Now I have told you my secret, and I leave it to your honour to -respect it. - -NOR. You accuse Miss Derwent--you accuse your husband---- - -BEA. Yes, I accuse them both. You know what happened this morning; -Miss Derwent was going away, and my husband insisted on her remaining; -but you don't know what happened this afternoon. So mad is Philip's -infatuation that he is even making a new will, bequeathing her every -shilling he possesses, leaving me an outcast and a beggar. - -_SIR PETER appears, L.D.--he observes them talking and goes into -conservatory, L.C._ - -NOR. Surely you are mistaken. (_backing a step_) - -BEA. I am _not_ mistaken! Sir Peter knows of this will. He will tell -you what I say is the truth. But not a word about my secret? I leave -that to your honour. (_crosses and goes up C. to L.C._) - -NOR. (_aside_) I wish she wouldn't leave my honour legacies. (_turns -up to opening, R.C._) - -_SIR PETER comes out from conservatory, L.C., intercepting BEATRICE as -she goes to door, L._ - -SIR P. Where are you going? - -BEA. Only to sit with Philip. (_going L._) - -SIR P. (_blocking the way_) He is lying down, and must on no account -be disturbed. - -BEA. Surely a wife---- - -SIR P. Is the most likely person to disturb her husband. - -BEA. (_pushing past, viciously_) Sir Peter, I _will_ see him! (_exit, -L.D._) - -SIR P. (_aside, looking after her_) But you can't. (_produces key, -looks at it and replaces it in his pocket, then goes down L., and -leans on mantel, on the opposite side of stage to LORD NORMAN- -TOWER--both lost in thought_) - -NOR. (_aside, leaning against column, R.C._) How can I ask Sir Peter? -How can I say, has Selwyn made a will, leaving his wife a beggar? I -know what his answer would be. "Sir, what the devil has that to do -with you?" And yet it has a lot to do with me. I regard Miss Derwent's -reputation as my own, and I'm not going to have aspersions cast on it. -If I could clear things up, I might be able to convince Mrs. Selwyn of -her mistake. But how can I broach the subject? It's a teazer. (_sits -up, R.C., in alcove_) - -SIR P. (_sits L., aside_) Now, what am I to do? Give her a chance, or -nail her to the counter? If I gave her a chance, would she take it? -Not she! She would appeal to her husband--he would believe her -implicitly and kick me out of the house--there would be an end of -_me_--and there would be an end of _him._ I must convict her--there's -no alternative. But how? If she plays any tricks to-night, I have her. -But if she doesn't? (_blows his nose_) She has _me!_ Well, the first -thing to be done is, to make things safe for the night. - -NOR. (_aside, rises and comes down a little_) I have it! Sir Peter -knows I'm poor--I'll tell him I have thoughts of marrying, but I must -marry money. I will inquire about Miss Derwent's circumstances--say, -I've heard a rumour. Then I shall find out all about this will. Sir -Peter will think I'm an awful cad, but what does it matter what Sir -Peter thinks? Upon my word, statesmanship _is_ hereditary, after all. -I feel a regular Machiavelli! (_crosses to SIR PETER, aloud_) Sir -Peter! May I have a word with you? (_R. of table_) - -SIR P. (_watch_) How long are you likely to be? - -NOR. Only a second. - -SIR P. That means half-an-hour. I limit my consultations to ten -minutes. - -NOR. Ten minutes, then. - -SIR P. Go on. - -_Re-enter KATE, R.C. from R., unobserved, stops short on seeing them._ - -NOR. (_sits on sofa_) It is about Miss Derwent. - -SIR P. Oh, Miss Derwent! (_SIR PETER rises, takes snuff-box on -mantel--and sits again L._) - -KATE. (_aside, smiling_) He's talking about me. I should like to know -what he thinks of me. It's a mean thing to do--but I'll do it--just -for fun. (_retires into conservatory, and crosses, going off L.U.E._) - -SIR P. Well, sir. - -NOR. You know Miss Derwent very well, I think? - -SIR P. Very well indeed--go on! (_leaning back_) - -NOR. She's all right, isn't she? - -SIR P. All right? (_starting forward_) - -NOR. I mean, there isn't a screw loose anywhere? - -SIR P. Screw loose? - -NOR. You know, I have some thoughts of marrying. - -SIR P. Her! - -NOR. Well, yes, of marrying _her._ - -SIR P. (_rises_) Then marry her, and don't bother me about it. - -NOR. But I'm as poor as a rat, and I can't afford---- - -SIR P. Then, _don't_ marry her. (_crosses R.C._) - -NOR. (_rises and follows SIR PETER_) But it has reached my ears, that -Selwyn's going to leave her everything. (_SIR PETER pricks up his -ears_) If that is really so, it would suit my book to a T; and I -thought you might know something about it. - -SIR P. Well, sir? - -NOR. And tell me. - -SIR P. In what capacity? As a physician? - -NOR. No--as a friend. - -SIR P. As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence? - -NOR. No--as _my_ friend. - -SIR P. But I am _not_ your friend. - -NOR. Well, as between two men of the world. Miss Derwent's an awfully -nice girl, but you know, one must look after the dibs. - -SIR P. Sir, I may be a man of the world, or I may not, but I do not -hold consultations in that capacity. Good evening. (_going R._) - -NOR. Sir Peter! One moment! (_following. Exit SIR PETER, followed by -NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. KATE staggers from conservatory, L.C., and drops -into sofa, the picture of desolation._) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D. Stops short on seeing KATE._ - -NOR. (R.C.) There she is. (_stands looking at KATE_) - -KATE. (_giving her eyes a final wipe and rising, aside_) I don't care. -(_pockets handkerchief_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, you've been crying. Something's the -matter. - -KATE. Don't trouble about _me._ _I'm_ "all right." - -NOR. "All right?" (_aside_) Do sit down! - -KATE. Thanks, I prefer to stand. - -NOR. But I don't like you to stand. - -KATE. I'm sorry if my attitude is not sufficiently elegant to satisfy -your lordship's fastidious taste. - -NOR. Miss Derwent! - -KATE. But I was not born graceful. I don't think I was properly -finished off. Nature has left "a screw loose" somewhere. (_crosses -R._) - -NOR. (C.) "A screw loose?" (_nonplussed_) - -KATE. What perplexes your lordship? (_sits R. by piano_) - -NOR. (_goes to her_) Miss Derwent, tell me--why did you ever want to -leave Ravenhurst? Don't think me impertinent. I have a reason for -asking. - -KATE. And I had a reason for leaving. - -NOR. Were you uncomfortable? - -KATE. Oh dear, no! Mr. Selwyn has always insisted on my being treated -with every consideration. - -NOR. Ah! Philip thinks a lot of _you,_ doesn't he? - -KATE. I think, he likes me. I don't know about "a lot." - -NOR. Perhaps you felt yourself in rather a false position? - -KATE. (_rises_) What do you mean? - -NOR. Nothing--I only meant--I don't know what I meant. - -KATE. Perhaps I thought, that I might _better_ my position. - -NOR. But if you were so comfortable---- - -KATE. Comfort isn't everything. Ravenhurst's an awfully nice place: -but--(_facing him_) "You know, one must look after the dibs." - -NOR. (_stands dumbfounded--pause_) Then, you heard my conversation -with Sir Peter? - -KATE. Every word of it. - -NOR. Well, it serves me right. (_goes down to C._) - -KATE. (_advances towards him_) And me as well--for listening--but I'm -glad I did. Now, I know what you are, and what you want. You are for -sale! Heart, soul, mind, body and estate--without reserve, and open to -all bidders. I am only a governess--I have no money to buy you, and I -don't _want_ to buy you! Knock yourself down to anyone you please! -What do _I_ care? (_a step or two away_) - -NOR. Hear me, one moment. I have been misled. (_follows_) - -KATE. (_turns sharply on him_) And so have I. I thought, at last, that -I had met a _man!_--A man whom I could love---- - -NOR. Miss Derwent! (_enraptured_) - -KATE. Whom I could honour--whom I could even obey! - -NOR. Kate! (_holds out his hands_) - -KATE. (_smacks his hands down and draws back up stage, R.C., a step; -during speech, she backs towards R.U.D._) Don't call me "Kate." It -wasn't _you._ It was another man altogether--a creature of my -fancy--whom I had met in dreams--but whom I loved--with such a love as -never entered into your sordid soul--for whom I would have died--for -whom I would have worked, toiled, slaved, from morning until -night--who possessed the whole heart of a woman who has never loved -before, but who has cast it from him and has broken it! (_at door; -exit, R.U.D._) - -NOR. My last appearance as Machiavelli! (_goes to L._) - -_Re-enter TOM moodily, R.C. from R._ - -TOM. (_comes down C._) I don't like the look of the pond. - -NOR. What pond? What are you talking about? - -TOM. Oh, by the bye, I haven't told you what we're going to do. - -NOR. Who's going to do? - -TOM. Why, me and Mildred. Drown ourselves. At least we _were_ going to -drown ourselves, until we saw the pond. Now, we are going to think of -something else. - -NOR. (_goes to TOM_) Look here, Tom! it's quite time little boys were -in bed. You'll have plenty of time to-morrow. - -TOM. Ah! You don't know what it is, to love--and get the key of the -street! - -NOR. Don't I? I've got it. - -TOM. _You've_ got it, Ned? - -NOR. Miss Derwent has just given it me. - -TOM. I say, let's drown one another! You go first! (_puts NORMANTOWER -across up towards R.U.D._) - -NOR. No, thank you, Tom. I'll go and make things up. (_exit, R.U.D._) - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., lost in thought, he goes up a little, -R.C._ - -TOM. (_down C., turning--seeing SIR PETER_) Sir Peter--the very man--I -say, Sir Peter! (_turns up to SIR PETER_) - -SIR P. Mr. Verinder? - -TOM. Aren't you a doctor? - -SIR P. I had the honour to belong to the medical profession before you -were born. - -TOM. A lot of things seem to have happened before I was born--and -everybody takes care to let me know it. - -SIR P. It is impossible to know too much. - -TOM. Then, tell me. What's the pleasantest way of committing suicide? - -SIR P. Hem! The question is scarcely usual. I regret to say, the -etiquette of my profession precludes me from replying. (_mock bow. -Goes up C._) - -TOM. Pompous old ass! I don't believe he knows. (_goes to L.C._) - -_Re-enter MILDRED, R.U.D., with an open book in her hand._ - -MIL. Tom, Tom! (_comes down R.C._) - -TOM. What's that you've got? - -MIL. "Kennedy on Poisons." (_reading from book. SIR PETER listens_) I -found it in Miss Derwent's dressing-room. - -TOM. Just what we wanted--let me have a look. - -SIR P. (_advancing_) Give me that book. (_between them. MILDRED draws -book away_) - -TOM. But it's not hers--it's---- - -SIR P. (_peremptorily_) Give that book to me. (_MILDRED gives it him_) -How dare you take this from Miss Derwent's dressing-room? - -MIL. (_begins to cry_) I didn't know that I was doing wrong. Mousey is -always at Miss Derwent's bookcase. - -TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn! Is it yours? (_facing -him boldly_) - -SIR P. By force of arms. - -TOM. Force is not argument. - -SIR P. (_in a voice of thunder_) Go away, boy, go! (_points R. TOM -collapses, crosses to MILDRED, and exit with MILDRED R.I.D. quickly_) - -SIR P. (sits on sofa) "Kennedy--Poisons"--(_opens fly-leaf_) "Kate -Derwent--from her friend, the Author--Guy's Hospital, 17th April, -1888." Kennedy's pet lamb! Gives it right and left, and not got -through the first edition yet. Nothing remarkable in that. But why -does it open at arsenic? "Mousey is always at Miss Derwent's -book-case." - -_Re-enter PRICE, R.I.D._ - -PRI. Mr. Learoyd, the chemist, is here, sir. - -SIR P. (_rises_) I'll see him at once. (_PRICE is going. SIR PETER -goes to him_) Stop--give this key to your mistress, with my -compliments. (_gives PRICE the key_) You'll find her in her room. -(_crosses and exit R.I.D._) - -_PRICE crosses and knocks at door L. and withdraws to L.C. up stage. -Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle and -wine-glass in her hand._ - -BEA. What is it? - -PRI. Sir Peter told me to give you this, madam, with his compliments. -(_gives key and goes R. towards upper door_) - -BEA. (_aside_) The key! (_goes down L. Aloud_) Price! I am going to -bed. I shall not want Johnson. Put all the lights out, lock the outer -door of the conservatory, and make up the house. - -PRI. Yes, madam, but Sir Peter---- - -BEA. Do as I tell you. - -_Music in orchestra. BEATRICE has put medicine and glass on table, and -stands in front of table, deep in thought. PRICE puts out lamp on -piano, then the one in conservatory, lower lights, then disappears -R.U.E. A lock is heard to turn. Re-enter PRICE, R.C., he goes to -R.U.D._ - -PRI. Good-night, madam. - -BEA. Good-night. (_exit PRICE. BEATRICE crosses and locks R.U.D. Up -R.C., looking at key_) Then, he does not suspect me! When I found -Philip's door locked, I was half afraid. Why am I such a coward?--Is -he with Philip? (_exit L., music swells. Re-enter L._) No! Philip is -fast asleep. Can he be watching? (_goes down to R.I.D._) No! (_opens -door R., looks out, then shuts and locks it_) Good night, Sir Peter! -pleasant dreams to you! (_stands looking at the key_) He suspects -nothing. (_goes to L.C., R. of table. Produces medicine bottle and -glass and pours out a dose_) It is a great temptation! (_produces -phial from bosom_) Strange! how this fascinates me! With my life at -stake, I scarcely can resist it. It possesses me! But, I suppose, I -dare not. (_music dies away, knock at door R._) Who can that be? -(_second knock, aloud_) Who's there? - -SIR P. (_off_) It's I--Sir Peter Lund! (_she puts away the phial_) - -BEA. What an escape! (_unlocks the door and smiles sweetly_) Come in, -Sir Peter. (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D., leaving door ajar and holding -the book behind his back_) I was just getting Philip's medicine. -(_goes to L., crossing behind sofa and table_) - -SIR P. (R.C.) So I see. (_aside_) It's all right. I'm in time--(_puts -book down on piano_) - -BEA. I scarcely expected to see you again to-night. Do you want -Philip? (_on knees, mending fire_) - -SIR P. No, Mrs. Selwyn, it is you I want. (_goes to C._) - -BEA. Me? - -SIR P. I have something of the greatest importance to tell you. First, -let me make sure that my patient cannot overhear us. (_goes towards -L.D., back of sofa_) - -BEA. (_rises_) He was asleep just now. (_goes up L. to door_) - -SIR P. But he may have awakened. - -BEA. Shall I see? - -SIR P. Thank you. (_she goes L. and exits. SIR PETER watches her off, -then goes to back of table and tastes the medicine in the glass, he -puts it down, turns quickly, back to door L. signals towards door R., -which he has left ajar; enter KATE, R.I.D._) Into there! (_pointing to -conservatory_) Quick! (_off R.C._) - -KATE. But what am I to do? Why have you brought me here? (_going up -R.C., SIR PETER L. of her_) - -SIR P. Keep your ears open, and you'll understand. (_exit KATE into -conservatory, R., KATE in conservatory upsets a pot_) That's her -confounded train. - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, L.D., comes down L. to L.C._ - -BEA. What was that noise? - -SIR P. (_at door of conservatory_) Ten thousand pardons: I've upset a -flowerpot. (_comes down to C._) - -BEA. You've been in the conservatory? - -SIR P. Yes--to make sure that nobody was listening. In a case like -this, one cannot be too careful. - -BEA. Sir Peter, you alarm me. What dreadful secret are you going to -tell me? (_goes to sofa_) - -SIR P. (_R. of her_) Mrs. Selwyn, you are a woman of strong nerves, -and you can bear a shock. - -BEA. I think so. - -SIR P. Well, I'm going to give you one--I've found it! - -BEA. What? - -SIR P. The serpent. - -BEA. The serpent? - -SIR P. Which Mr. Selwyn said did not exist, but the existence of which -I suspected from the first. - -BEA. A serpent in Ravenhurst? - -SIR P. And a remarkably fine specimen, it turns out to be. Your -husband is being poisoned. (_BEATRICE taken off her guard, reels, and -sinks on sofa_) I can quite understand your emotion. - -BEA. Poisoned? - -SIR P. By arsenic, administered in his medicine. - -BEA. But you put it there yourself. You told him, you were giving him -arsenic. - -SIR P. I was not. (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_) I did not -prescribe arsenic. - -BEA. Might not the chemist--by mistake---- - -SIR P. I've seen him, and he assures me there was no mistake. Besides, -though there was arsenic in the glass, there was _none in the bottle._ -While you were all having your dinner, I took the liberty of analysing -_that._ Mr. Selwyn is now in such a condition that the next dose may -be fatal. The first thing to be done is, to protect his life. I have -not left him since morning; but at the precise moment when the -criminal, whoever it is, will probably administer the poison, I shall -not be there to prevent it, because that moment will be when he takes -the final dose of physic which I have ordered him, just before going -to bed. - -BEA. And knowing this, you have ordered it? - -SIR P. With the object of detecting the culprit. Here I want your -assistance. We must lay our plans carefully; for whoever is doing -this, she is a very clever woman. - -BEA. (_rises_) Woman! Then, you suspect--(_bell ready_) - -SIR P. (_business_) Miss Derwent. (_BEATRICE starts_) What was that? -(_no noise heard_) - -BEA. (_astonished_) Miss _Derwent!_ - -SIR P. I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory. - -BEA. No one is there. The doors have been locked. - -SIR P. Someone may have opened them. Let us make sure. (_goes into the -conservatory R.C., disappears R., re-enters in a moment and comes down -to C._) - -BEA. Miss Derwent! (_down stage front of sofa_) - -SIR P. (_returning_) Only the flower pot--caught in a plant, which -must have given way. (_gets R. of sofa_) - -BEA. Well? You were saying---- - -SIR P. I suspect Miss Derwent--She has, as humanity goes, a powerful -incentive to this crime. On Mr. Selwyn's death, she expects to come -into a large fortune. - -BEA. Not until he has made a will in her favour. - -SIR P. He said he would make it to-day. She heard him say so, and she -knows that he has seen his solicitor. - -BEA. (_sits on sofa_) Yes, but my husband has been ill some weeks. -Miss Derwent had nothing to gain by his death until this will was -made. - -SIR P. (_sitting R. of her_) Therefore, she has not killed him. The -process has been admirably timed. She began to compass his death when -she had nothing to gain by it, and therefore was not open to -suspicion; and on the point of its consummation, adroitly threw -herself upon his generosity. You must admit the ingenuity of the -scheme. - -BEA. But the evidence? - -SIR P. That is where you must help me. It is incomplete. But it is -obvious enough, the criminal, whoever it is, is familiar with the -properties of arsenic, which are not so simple as is commonly -supposed. A bungler would have killed him long ago; but Miss Derwent -is half a doctor. She was at Guy's for years. She is a particular -friend of Dr. Kennedy's--and, strongest evidence of all, his book on -toxicology is here--(_rises, crosses to piano, takes book, and -recrosses to back of sofa, R. of it_) inscribed with her name--and has -evidently been considerably studied. (_gives book to BEATRICE_) -Especially, one chapter. - -BEA. Which is that? - -SIR P. Open it. - -BEA. "Arsenic"! - -SIR P. Look at the title page. - -BEA. "Kate Derwent--from her friend, the Author." - -SIR P. (_takes book again_) I submit that the case against her is one -of the gravest suspicion (_crosses to back of table, L. of it_) - -BEA. Then you accuse your friend and protegee. - -SIR P. Science has no friendships. _Someone_ is poisoning your -husband. I suspect Miss Derwent. (_KATE appears momentarily R.C._) -Accept my theory or reject it--(_raises his voice, to make sure KATE -can hear him_) _Watch that glass!_ If anybody touches it---- - -BEA. Who can, but me! When you have gone, and I have locked the door, -no one can get into this room to-night. Where is this poison coming -from? - -SIR P. Wherever it comes from, I know where it goes; into that glass. -Therefore, please, _watch the glass!_ If anybody tampers with it, ring -this bell. (_indicates bell pull, going towards it up R._) - -BEA. (_rises_) What, the alarm-bell? (_goes to C._) - -SIR P. It will rouse the house. A miscreant will be brought to -justice, and your husband's life will be saved. (_comes down R.C._) - -BEA. If no one touches it? - -SIR P. He is safe for to-night, at any rate. Madam, I have the honour -to wish you a very good evening. (_exit, R.I.D._) - -_Music in orchestra._ - -BEA. (_locks door after him, and breaks into a low, hollow laugh_) -Thank you, Sir Peter! thank you very much! (_goes to C._) The case you -have begun, I will complete. Now, I can not only save myself, but -triumph! If I convict Miss Derwent of this crime, the will must be -abandoned. (_gets R. of table, KATE appears R.C., watching her_) It is -worth some risk! I can but fail: and if I do--(_produces phial, and -pours the contents into the medicine, laughing_) I'll make this strong -enough. There! Now to bring Miss Derwent. I will say Philip's dying, -and has asked to see her. Then I will rouse the house, and she shall -be found here--alone with this! (_goes to R.C._) Sir Peter will -corroborate me, Philip will be convinced, and my Lord Normantower--ha, -ha!--can marry her! Thank you, Sir Peter, thank you! (_unlocks door, -and exit, R.I.D._) - -KATE. Oh! (_in opening, R.C._) - -PHIL. (_off L._) Beatrice! - -KATE. My brother's voice--if I were found here now! - -PHIL. (_nearer_) Beatrice! - -(_KATE retreats out of sight, R._) - -_Enter PHILIP, L.D._ (_PHILIP goes down L. to L.C._) - -PHIL. Not here? Where can she be? (_watch_) Good gracious, I've been -asleep for nearly three hours. (_yawning_) Well, I suppose she won't -be very long; (_KATE appears again, watching PHILIP, who sits on -sofa_) Ah, there's the medicine! That last dose, which old Lund said -was so particular. I'd forgotten all about it. But Mousey hadn't. She -forgets nothing--nothing! (_rises_) Well, the sooner I take it, the -sooner it's over. (_about to drink_) - -KATE. (_rushing forward_) Philip! Stop! (_music stops_) - -PHIL. Kate? (_sets down the glass_) - -KATE. It's poison! (_R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Poison? - -_Re-enter BEATRICE, R.I.D._ - -KATE. Yes! (_hysterically_) She is killing you! - -PHIL. (_confounded_) Who? - -KATE. Beatrice! (_PHILIP drops into sofa_) Your wife! (_sobs at his -feet. PHILIP sits as if stunned. BEATRICE stands, surveying them. -Pause. BEATRICE rings the alarm bell--KATE springs to her feet. -Re-enter SIR PETER, R.I.D. KATE goes up to C., PHILIP rises and goes -L. Lights worked up imperceptibly_) - -SIR P. Who rang the bell? (_crosses to R. of table_) - -_Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWER, R.I.D._ - -BEA. _I_ rang! - -NOR. (R.C.) What is the matter? - -BEA. Sir Peter, you were right. This girl is poisoning my husband. -(_comes down to C._) - -PHIL. Beatrice! (_goes to fire, and leans on mantel_) - -KATE. Oh! - -SIR P. Let Mrs. Selwyn speak. (_calmly tests the medicine by finger -and gets to back to table, placing glass down there_) - -BEA. You asked me to watch, and I have watched. I found her hidden -here. My husband was about to drink this stuff---- - -PHIL. When she prevented me---- - -BEA. Because, of course, she heard my conversation with Sir Peter. -Knowing she was suspected, she has sought to cast this horrible -suspicion upon _me!_ - -KATE. Philip--I saw her! - -BEA. Since I poured out that draught, I have not touched it. - -KATE. Oh! (_retreating up L.C._) - -BEA. If it is poisoned--_she_ has poisoned it. - -SIR P. But when? Besides, you would have seen her--you were watching. -This was not poisoned, when I left the room. - -BEA. It _must_ have been! - -SIR P. I think not--and I tested it. (_advances to C., behind sofa_) - -BEA. I didn't see you. - -SIR P. No--I took care you shouldn't. (_pause_) - -BEA. You suspected _me!_ - -SIR P. From the beginning. - -BEA. This is a plot to ruin me! (_BEATRICE crosses to PHILIP who -disregards her. SIR PETER goes to R.C., L. of LORD NORMANTOWER_) -Philip, _you_ don't believe this hideous charge? (_PHILIP makes no -movement--she draws back, up L. to back of table, and stands at bay_) -What was Miss Derwent doing in the room? If she is innocent, why was -she _hiding_ here? - -SIR P. Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter. (_BEATRICE -confronts SIR PETER_) _I_ brought Miss Derwent here. (_going up to C., -KATE comes to him_) - -BEA. _You_ brought her--when? - -SIR P. When _you_ were in the other room, naturally. I took the -liberty of putting her into the conservatory, where, you will -remember, she had the misfortune to upset a flower-pot. - -BEA. I understand. You laid a trap for me? - -SIR P. I took that liberty. - -BEA. And you say, this is poisoned? - -SIR P. I should think, fatally. - -BEA. If I am guilty, why do I not get rid of it? You have given me -plenty of opportunity. - -SIR P. For a very excellent reason. Because you are quite clever -enough to know, that to do so would be an admission of your crime. - -BEA. I am not guilty, and this (_takes up glass_) is not poison. - -SIR P. Sorry I am to contradict you---- - -BEA. See! I will prove it! (_drinks the poison and throws glass down -behind her, it smashes. Movement from SIR PETER, NORMANTOWER and -PHILIP_) - -SIR P. Mrs. Selwyn! - -BEA. You are too late, Sir Peter. (_goes up_) Now--good night to all -of you. (_curtseying. Exit L., followed by SIR PETER_) - -NOR. (_to PHILIP_) What was the object? (_crosses to C. As NORMANTOWER -crosses he holds out his hand to KATE, which she accepts, KATE being -L. of him, R. of sofa_) - -PHIL. Normantower, Kate is my sister. The fortune which I have enjoyed -for years is hers, and I was anxious to restore it. The object was, to -prevent me. (_music in orchestra_) Oh, Kate, my heart is broken! -(_KATE goes to R. of PHILIP and kneels_) - -KATE. But time will heal it, Philip; for your heart is good; goodness -and happiness are not strangers long. - -_Re-enter SIR PETER, L.D._ - -PHIL. Only to think, this woman is my wife! - -SIR P. (_gently laying his hand on PHILIP'S shoulder_) But not for -long. And she is better dead! - -MUSIC FORTE. - -Moderate Curtain. - -_Time_ (_Act_) _forty-two minutes. Time for whole, including waits, -two hours, six minutes._ - - -Transcriber's Note - -This transcription is based on scanned images posted by Google from a -copy in the Harvard Library: - -nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:HUL.FIG:002663452 - -Note that the Google scans are included in a set of four Sydney Grundy -plays published by Samuel French posted under the title, _A Fool's -Paradise._ Based on how the Harvard Library catalogs the individual -copies, I assume Google combined the different scans into a single -document. _A Fool's Paradise_ is the first play in the set. - -French's Acting Editions from the nineteenth century tend to have -minor editorial inconsistencies and errors such as missing and -inverted letters, missing and incorrect punctuation marks, and -spelling errors. In addition, errors were introduced in the printing -process, depending on the condition and inking of the plates. Thus, -for example, it is at times difficult to determine whether a certain -letter is an "c," "e," or "o" or whether a certain punctuation mark is -a period or a comma. Where context made the choice obvious, the -obvious reading was given the benefit of the doubt without comment. - -The following changes were noted: - -- Throughout the text, all abbreviations in the stage directions for -stage position, entrances, and exits (e.g.,"R.I.D.") have been made -consistent so that there is no space between the letters. - -- Throughout the text, the convention of long dashes at the end of -lines has been made consistent. - -- p. 3: Tennis bat for KATE R.U.E.--For consistency, changed "KATE" to -"Kate". - -- p. 5: You wouldn't mind being Mrs. Verinder, would you.--Changed -period to a question mark. - -- p. 6: KATE Why aren't...--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 7: Even love matches are often unfortumate.--Changed -"unfortumate" to "unfortunate". - -- p. 7: Love has a habit of being so one-sided--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 7: ...a most able and distinguished man--Added period to end of -sentence. - -- p. 9: ..._and waves his hand to TOM and MIL_)--Changed "MIL" to -"MILDRED" in stage direction. - -- p. 9: SIR. P. Drink too much.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 9: KATE. SIR Peter!--Changed "SIR" from small caps to initial -cap. - -- p. 9: SIRP. Of course you do.--Inserted space between "SIR" and "P". - -- p. 10: SIR P Any pain?--Inserted period after "SIR P". - -- p. 11: SIR P. So, altogether. you're quite a happy family?--Changed -what looked like a period after "altogether" to a comma. - -- p. 11: With more money than I know what to do wi h...--Changed -"wi h" to "with". - -- p. 11: The liv r was made, by a beautiful provision...--Changed -"liv r" to "liver". - -- p. 12: _Re-enter MILDRED and TOM, followed by LORD NORMANTOWER, C. -from R._)--Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 12: (_they come down stage tonether..._--Changed "_tonether_" to -"_together_". - -- p. 12: ...and though circum tances have kept us a good deal -apart--we've never quite ost...--Changed "circum tances" to -"circumstances" and "ost" to "lost". - -- p. 12: SIR P. (_crosses to LORD NORMANTOWER. C._)--Changed period -after "NORMANTOWER" to comma. - -- p. 13: SIR P. (_picks up bunch from table, R._)--Changed "_bunch_" -to "_Punch_" based on the "Necessary Properties" list and on the stage -direction following the next line of dialogue which has Sir Peter -sitting and reading. - -- p. 15: ..._she has a tennis bat in her hand, and comes down C._)-- -Deleted unmatched closing parenthesis. - -- p. 18: (_stoop- to give a back, NORMANTOWER down R. -laughs...._--Changed "_stoop-_" to "_stooping_". - -- p. 18: KATE (_nodding_) How d'ye do?--Added period after "KATE". - -- p. 20: Nonsense I must see you...--Added period after "Nonsense". - -- p. 21: ...but consider the future Some day...--Added a period after -"future". - -- p. 21: No, I shall never marry--Added a period at end of line. - -- p. 22: You are a foolish, obstinate, absurd--(_turns suddenly and -takes both her hands_) Good, generous...--Inserted dash after closing -parenthesis, and changed "Good" to lower case. - -- p. 23: ACT II--Inserted a period at end of heading for consistency. - -- p. 23: ...remarkably tight inexpressibles--Added a period at end of -line. - -- p. 23: You under-rate your accomplishments. don't -think...--Inserted the word "_I_" before "don't". Use of italics was -based on spacing between words. - -- p. 24: _Kate turns up and resumes watering plants, R.C._--For -consistency in stage directions, changed "Kate" to small caps in html -version and all caps in text version. - -- p. 29: No--but I cannot grasp it?--Changed question mark to an -exclamation mark. - -- p. 31: ...bnt now I have awaken...--Changed "bnt" to "but". - -- p. 33: I'm doing right, aren't I, mousey--Added question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 33: I have your acquiesence?--Changed "acquiesence" to -"acquiescence". - -- p. 34: TOM. Are quite well enough to stand a shock?--Inserted "you" -after "Are". - -- p. 34: Yon won't come to blows?--Changed "Yon" to "You". - -- p. 35: _Exeunt JOHNSON and PHILIP R.U.D._--Added closing -parenthesis. - -- p. 36: _TOM has her L. hand., PHILIP her right..._--Deleted period -after "hand". - -- p. 36: SIR. P. Nobody here.--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 36: ..._then smells it, smell it again, tastes again cautiously -by his finger..._--Changed "_smell_" to "_smells_". - -- p. 38: _BEATRICE'S fan on piano_--Added period after "_piano_". - -- p. 39: "_ad. lib._"--Deleted period after "_ad_". - -- p. 40: I am charmed with him--Added period at end of sentence. - -- p. 41: _PHILIP comes to C. up stage, KATE rises and meets -him_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 41: SIR P My dear young...--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: You've had a trying day--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 43: _PHILIP takes his R. arm, and they go up_)--Inserted a left -parenthesis before "PHILIP". - -- p. 43: SIR. P. By obeying me...--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 43: SIR P Just one more.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 43: (_behind sofa R. of it_)--Added a comma after "sofa". - -- p. 43: Oh, yes; we get along splendidly. like Miss Derwent! she is -just my sort.--Added "I" before "like". - -- p. 43: ...a bachelor can devote himself to the sex,--Changed comma -to a period. - -- p. 44: Don't mock me--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 44: Lord Normantower, I owe you an explanation' which...--Deleted -single quote mark after "explanation". - -- p. 44: You contemplate being married--Added a question mark to end -of sentence. - -- p. 47: SIR. P. Oh, Miss Derwent!--Deleted period after "SIR". - -- p. 47: ..._snuff--box_...--Changed dash to a hyphen. - -- p. 48: As Mr. Selwyn's friend--betray his confidence--Added a -question mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 48: ..._drops into sofa, the picture of desolation._--Added a -closing parenthesis after "desolation." - -- p. 48: I'm "all right.'--Changed single closing quotation mark to -double closing quotation mark. - -- p. 49: Whom I could honor--whom I could even obey--Added an -exclamation mark to end of sentence. - -- p. 49: ...from morning nntil night...--Changed "nntil" to "until". - -- p. 50: Don t I? I've got it.--Added an apostrophe between "Don" and -"t". - -- p. 50: I'll go and make things up. _exit. R.U.D._)--Added left -parenthesis before "_exit_"; changed period after "_exit_" to a comma. - -- p. 50: (_turns up to_ Sir PETER)--Changed "Sir" from initial cap to -small caps in html and all caps in text version. - -- p. 51: TOM. How dare _you_ take that from Miss Selwyn?--Changed -question mark to exclamation mark. - -- p. 51: _Re-enter BEATRICE, L. after a pause, she has medicine bottle -and wine-glass in her hand_)--Changed closing parenthesis to a period. - -- p. 52: (_enter SIR PETER, R.I.D , leaving door ajar..._--Changed -space after "D" to a period. - -- p. 52: (_goes towards L D., back of sofa_)--Changed space after "L" -to a period. - -- p. 53: (_BEATRICE gazes at him as if fascinated_--Added closing -parenthesis after "_fascinated_". - -- p. 53: I thought I heard a noise in the conservatory--Added a period -at end of sentence. - -- p. 53: (_goes into the conservatory R.C., disappears R. -re-enters..._--Inserted a comma after "R.". - -- p. 54: ...and on the point of it's consummation...--Changed "it's" -to "its". - -- p. 54: (_takes book gaain_)--Changed "gaain" to "again". - -- p. 54: I suspect Miss Derwent--Added a period at end of sentence. - -- p. 55: (_indicates bell pull, going owards it up R._)--Changed -"_owards_" to "_towards_". - -- p. 55: _comes down R.C._)--Added a left parenthesis before -"_comes_". - -- p. 55: ...KATE appears R.C ,...--Changed space after "C" to a -period. - -- p. 55: (_PHIL goes down L. to L.C._)--Changed "PHIL" to "PHILIP". - -- p. 55: (_sets down the glass_--Added closing parenthesis after -"_glass_". - -- p. 56: _Re-enter LORD NORMANTOWE, R.I.D._--Changed "NORMANTOWE" to -"NORMANTOWER". - -- p. 56: BEA. _I_ rang?--Changed question mark to an exclamation mark. - -- p. 56: (_come down to C._)--Changed "_come_" to "_comes_". - -- p. 56: (_retreating up L C._)--Changed space after "L" to a period. - -- p. 56: _PHILIP makes no movement..._--Added a left parenthesis -before "PHILIP". - -- p. 57: If she is innocent, why was she hiding here--Added a question -mark at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: Perhaps I can throw some light upon that matter--Added a -period at end of sentence. - -- p. 57: (_going up to C , KATE comes to him_)--Changed space after -"C" to a period. - -- p. 57: SIR P I should think, fatally.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: SIR P For a very excellent reason.--Added a period after "P". - -- p. 57: ...that to do so would be an admisson of...--Changed -"admisson" to "admission". - -The html version of this etext attempts to reproduce the layout of the -printed text. However, some concessions have been made. For example, -on pages 25, 34, and 39 of the printed text a single curly bracket -around two or more lines is used to indicate simultaneous action or -dialogue. It is possible to reproduce this in html using tables, but -html tables may not transfer well to the Project Gutenberg files -generated from the html file. Thus, the use of html tables was -avoided. - -This play was inspired by the 1889 trial of Florence Maybrick, who was -convicted of poisoning her husband with arsenic. A brief description -can be found in William R. Cullen, _Is Arsenic an Aphrodisiac? The -Sociochemistry of an Element_ (Cambridge, U.K.: Royal Society of -Chemistry, 2008), pp. 179-180, 183-185. A preview of this book is -available through Google Scholar. See also Edgar Lustgarten, _Verdict -in Dispute_ (London: Allan Wingate, 1949), which is posted by the -Internet Archive at: - -archive.org/details/verdictindispute00lustuoft - - - - - - -End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Fool's Paradise, by Sydney Grundy - -*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A FOOL'S PARADISE *** - -***** This file should be named 41647.txt or 41647.zip ***** -This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: - http://www.gutenberg.org/4/1/6/4/41647/ - -Produced by Paul Haxo from page images generously made -available by Google and the Harvard Library. - - -Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions -will be renamed. - -Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no -one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation -(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without -permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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