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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41590 ***
+
+NEGRO TALES
+
+[Illustration: Joseph S. Cotter
+
+_Frontispiece._]
+
+NEGRO TALES
+
+By
+
+JOSEPH S. COTTER
+
+NEW YORK
+
+THE COSMOPOLITAN PRESS
+
+1912
+
+
+COPYRIGHT, 1912, BY
+THE COSMOPOLITAN PRESS
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+                                                         PAGE
+The Author                                                  7
+
+Caleb                                                       9
+
+Rodney                                                     23
+
+Tesney, The Deceived                                       35
+
+Regnan's Anniversary                                       50
+
+"Kotchin' De Nines"                                        62
+
+A Town Sketch                                              67
+
+The Stump of a Cigar                                       74
+
+A Rustic Comedy                                            81
+
+The Jackal and the Lion                                   103
+
+The King's Shoes                                          110
+
+How Mr. Rabbit Secures a Pretty Wife and Rich
+  Father-in-Law                                           127
+
+The Little Boy and Mister Dark                            133
+
+Observation                                               138
+
+The Boy and the Ideal                                     141
+
+The Negro and the Automobile                              144
+
+Faith in the White Folks                                  146
+
+The Cane and the Umbrella                                 148
+
+
+
+
+THE AUTHOR
+
+
+The Author is one of a race that has given scarcely anything of
+literature to the world. His modest tender of some Christmas verses to
+me led to an inquiry which revealed his story of unpretentious but
+earnest and conscientious toil. He is wholly self-taught in English
+literature and composition. The obstacles which he has surmounted were
+undreamed of by Burns and other sons of song who struggled up from
+poverty, obscurity, and ignorance to glory.
+
+Joseph Seamon Cotter was born in Nelson County, Kentucky, in 1861, but
+has spent practically all his life in Louisville. He had the scantiest
+opportunity for schooling in childhood, though he could read before he
+was four years old. He was put to work early, and from his eighth to his
+twenty-fourth year earned his living by the roughest and hardest labor,
+first in a brick yard, then in a distillery, and finally as a teamster.
+At twenty-two his scholarship was so limited that when he entered the
+first one of Louisville's night schools for colored pupils he had to
+begin in the primary department. His industry and capacity were so great
+that at the end of two sessions of five months each he began to teach.
+He has persevered in his calling, educating himself while at work, and
+is now Principal of the Tenth Ward Colored School, at Thirteenth and
+Green streets. The man whose advice and encouragement at the beginning
+chiefly enabled him to accomplish this was Prof. W. T. Peyton, a
+well-known colored educator of this city, whom he regards as his
+greatest benefactor.--THOMAS G. WATKINS, _Financial Editor Louisville
+Courier-Journal_.
+
+
+
+
+NEGRO TALES
+
+
+
+
+CALEB
+
+
+Patsy and Benjamin, her husband, were talking about their first and
+second weddings, and of Caleb, their son. They were also thinking of
+Rahab, Caleb's teacher.
+
+"We have been blessed in the number of our weddings," said she.
+
+"Yes; but cursed in Caleb," he replied.
+
+"Our last wedding, as free people, was not equal to the first as
+slaves."
+
+"That was because Caleb came in between."
+
+"How many ex-slaves have considered the significance of these second
+weddings?"
+
+"How many fathers and mothers have been cursed by only sons?"
+
+Caleb entered the room as his father uttered these words, and struck him
+violently over the heart. The old man straightened up, gasped
+spasmodically, clutched at his breast wildly, and then fell heavily to
+the floor. Caleb, with a parting sneer, left the room, while Patsy ran
+to the aid of her husband. She turned him on his back, opened his shirt
+at the neck, but her efforts were of no avail. Benjamin was dead.
+
+Patsy did not report Caleb for the murder of his father, but went on
+thinking her own theology and asking Rahab to explain.
+
+"A thirty-dollar coffin? No, no, undertaker! A five-dollar robe? No, no,
+undertaker! Four carriages? No, no, undertaker! Think you the living
+have no rights? Cold, rigid dignity will suffice the dead, but the
+living must have money. He was my father, and I am his heir; therefore,
+speedy forgetfulness for the one and luxury for the other. Five hundred
+dollars are upon his life. As four hundred and fifty slip through my
+fingers I'll remember I owe him something for dying a pauper. Twenty
+dollars will keep Patsy chewing starch; and you, undertaker, may have
+the rest, and the thanks of science for your services. Why gaze upon the
+dead? Think you how you can make it twenty? At twenty? At twenty, you
+say? Cigars, cigars, ten dollars for cigars. You can't? Out! Out! Out!
+Offend not the living by pitying the dead."
+
+Caleb thus addressed the undertaker while gazing upon the dead body of
+his father.
+
+As the undertaker left the room Patsy hobbled in upon her crutches, sat
+close to the corpse and sobbed aloud.
+
+"Why those tears, old woman?" asked Caleb.
+
+"Where is your heart, Caleb, my boy?"
+
+"In the twenty dollars you hold in your hand. Disgrace, and disgrace,
+and ever disgrace! The old man was a boaster in life and a pauper in
+death. Now you would spend for starch what I should spend for cigars. No
+more disgrace for the family, old woman. Eschew starch, bless your son,
+and hie you to the washtub."
+
+He took the money and arranged it in the shape of a cigar.
+
+Patsy looked lovingly at Caleb, and considered Rahab's offer to preach
+Benjamin's funeral sermon.
+
+On the day of Benjamin's funeral Rahab was present. Patsy gave him a
+chair close to the coffin. The people were so seated that egress was
+impossible.
+
+Leaning upon her crutches and gazing straight into Rahab's face, Patsy
+gave out, and the people sang: "A charge to keep I have, a God to
+glorify."
+
+Rahab looked at the corpse; and, seeing a sermon in the cold, rigid
+form, turned and looked at Patsy. "Beware of the immediate future," said
+she.
+
+Rahab trembled, stammered something, and looked at the ceiling. Patsy
+brought her crutch in close proximity to his head.
+
+Said she, keeping her crutch in motion and her eye in Rahab's: "Words of
+the dead to the dead avail little. Were it not for your presence there
+would be no funeral sermon. The man in the coffin is not dead, but
+sleeping. Why should we disturb his slumbers? You have just life enough
+to hear your doom. Why should we not pronounce it?"
+
+Rahab started to rise. Patsy moved her crutch, and the people sang:
+"That awful day will surely come."
+
+Rahab dropped back into his seat and looked wildly around the room.
+
+Patsy laid her hand gently upon his shoulder and said: "Rahab,
+Benjamin's blood is in part upon your hands. Caleb believed you when you
+said that God would curse him. After seeing your crimes he believed that
+God had cursed both. To be cursed, he thinks, gives the right to curse.
+Rahab, the Master is waiting and calling."
+
+"He is waiting," said Rahab; "but not to bless."
+
+The people sang: "While the lamp holds out to burn the vilest sinner may
+return."
+
+Rahab raised himself up with difficulty and pitched forward upon the
+floor.
+
+"Rahab, what do you see?" asked Patsy.
+
+"I see Caleb's undoing between me and the New Jerusalem. Fool was I. I
+won his confidence, and led him to believe false doctrine. God, pardon
+Caleb. I sinned in his sight and laughed at his virtue. Damn not Caleb,
+O God, but me."
+
+Rahab ceased to speak and was carried out. His last words were: "Damn
+not Caleb, O God, but me."
+
+Some said he died of excitement; others said it was of pure
+consciousness of guilt.
+
+A few weeks passed. The night was cold, and Patsy was dying. Caleb sat
+in a corner of the room. In his mouth was a lighted cigar. At his feet
+was a split-covered box, from which came a sound that was music to his
+ears.
+
+On a similar night about a year before Patsy cried out pitifully: "My
+baby, my Caleb, perdition, perdition!" She had sprung forward, as though
+about to clutch something, and had struck her head against the stove,
+inflicting an ugly wound.
+
+"It was all a dream," she afterwards said. "Methought my Caleb was a
+babe again. I pressed him to my heart and crooned one of those
+nonsensical baby ditties so old, yet so sweet to the mother's heart.
+When he said 'Dad,' 'Dad,' I held him up and kissed his chin, mouth,
+nose, eyes, and forehead. I looked five years ahead and saw him clinging
+to my dress while I gathered roses for his brow. I looked ten years
+ahead and saw him among his schoolmates, contending for the mastery in
+sports and studies. Again I looked and saw him a man of thirty, I, bent
+and gray, leaning upon his arm, receiving the confidence of the wise,
+the respect of the just. Time, the robber, would steal my angel. I held
+him up and kissed his hands and feet over and over. I fell asleep. When
+I awoke my baby was lying upon the floor. Thinking it was hurt, I
+screamed: 'My baby.' Straightway it turned into Caleb, the man, and I
+called: 'My Caleb!' A flame of fire sprang up and began to circle him
+round. Then it was I cried: 'Perdition, perdition!' and sprang to help
+him. This ugly wound on my head will be my death; but Caleb, Caleb!"
+
+The night was cold, and Patsy was dying. Caleb sat in a corner of the
+room. In one hand was the stump of a cigar. In the other was a chicken,
+still making the sound that was music to his ears. When Patsy's groans
+disturbed him he moved the empty box with his feet.
+
+"Old woman," said he, "I have stolen a chicken. Will you be my guest?"
+
+"Caleb," groaned Patsy, "you should not steal."
+
+His answer was: "Old woman, you should not meddle."
+
+"Caleb, have you seen my chicken?" asked a voice without.
+
+"Would you disgrace your mother in death?" asked Patsy, with great
+effort.
+
+"Would you starve me in life?" was Caleb's reply.
+
+"My chicken, my chicken!" roared the voice without.
+
+"It is fat and tender," chuckled Caleb.
+
+Patsy's last words on earth were: "May the Lord forgive my Caleb."
+
+Caleb fell asleep and left his mother to die alone. Her death-struggle
+covered several hours. She raised herself upon her pillow, so that her
+last glance might rest upon Caleb. His loud snoring was music to her
+dying ears. She clapped her hands feebly to awaken him, but he snored
+the more, and mumbled something about chicken. The end came with a
+little choking in the throat and a slight movement of the head to the
+left.
+
+As Patsy lay cold in death Caleb had a pleasant dream. He dreamed that
+she was well and at the washtub. He thought he held in his hand money
+she had drawn in advance for him. When he awoke the next morning and
+found it was but a dream he lighted the stump of a cigar; and, between
+puffs, mumbled something about starch-eating mothers and dignified sons.
+When a neighbor called to see what Patsy would have for breakfast, he
+said: "Ask the old woman."
+
+"She is dead," cried the neighbor.
+
+"Then bury her," said he.
+
+The next day Noah, the father of Melviny, the grave-digger for the poor,
+said: "Melviny, my child, I go to dig poor Patsy's grave."
+
+"Poor Caleb!" said Melviny, and covered her face with her apron.
+
+Noah's hands fell to his side, leaving the spade dangling about his
+neck.
+
+"Melviny!" he shouted fiercely.
+
+"Father?" she answered soberly.
+
+"Why your thought of Caleb?"
+
+"Why your interest in Patsy?"
+
+"She is dead, child."
+
+"So is Caleb, father." Melviny dropped her apron and began to toy with
+the spade. "Dear father, you are kind to the neighbors."
+
+"Dear child, you are making your own perdition."
+
+"Where go you, father?"
+
+"I go to bury Patsy in the potter's field."
+
+"I go to bury Caleb in my affections, that he may be resurrected a man."
+
+Noah kissed his daughter three times.
+
+"The first," said he, "is for your mother, who was a wise woman."
+
+"In marrying you, father? I never heard her say so in her curtain
+lectures. Why didn't you say she was a brave woman?"
+
+"Don't be frivolous, child."
+
+"Cling to facts, father. Remember, you will soon be on the brink of the
+grave."
+
+"The second is for your innocence," said he, kissing her again. "The
+third--the third----"
+
+"Is for what, father? Say it's to encourage Caleb in his wooing. Say it,
+father."
+
+"'Tis my dying kiss--my curse. Go! When he drags you to want and death,
+you will see how foolish you have been."
+
+"When I lift him to honor and life the world will see how wise and
+heroic I have been. That extra kiss, father?"
+
+Noah looked puzzled.
+
+"I see it now, father. That's to commend my heroism. You would say so in
+words, but you are a bit too human at present. Poor Patsy is to be
+buried in a pauper's grave; poor Caleb in my affections. Your task is
+noble. No parting word for me? None? I go not alone."
+
+"You go not alone, for the fires of tribulation go with you," said Noah,
+and shouldered his spade.
+
+As Noah crossed the bridge leading to the potter's field he met Caleb.
+
+"Hello, old graybeard!" This was Caleb's salutation. "I jilted the
+cobbler's Mary for your Melviny. A mess of perdition she is. You have
+the honor of burying my mother; I would have the pleasure of marrying
+your daughter. 'Tis a fair exchange. Speak the word; the magistrate is
+waiting for his fee. You won't? Your beard is a foot long."
+
+"I go to dig your mother's grave."
+
+"I detain you to pleasure my mother's son."
+
+"She must be buried."
+
+"I must be married."
+
+"Oh! Oh! Oh!"
+
+"Speak the word."
+
+"My beard is being wasted."
+
+"Speak the word, or I'll pull out another handful."
+
+"Y-e-e-s," stammered Noah.
+
+Caleb stroked what beard was left, evened it up with his penknife, and
+said: "Go! You are adorned for your task."
+
+What Noah felt and thought while digging Patsy's grave would make a
+serious, instructive volume. A like record of Caleb and Melviny, as they
+stood before the magistrate, would show the brute in man, the folly in
+woman. So long as woman is sure she has mastered man, so long is man
+sure to degrade woman. 'Tis the equation of the fall. The rib that gave
+woman life ever waits to give her temptation and death.
+
+
+Caleb had been away from Melviny six months when their child was born.
+
+Fancy a man, dirty, ragged, and lousy, sitting beside a post. Notice
+the convenience of the post. Look well at the grin that is indicative of
+a bite; forget not the smile that means one intruder less. Why those
+dice? He shakes them in his hand, throws them out, and says seven. Any
+money at stake? No! Any fellow-players? No! See the point? Look closely!
+When he grins he shakes the dice. Know you what that means? There is a
+bite. When he smiles he throws out the dice and says seven. Understand
+that? The post and a movement of his back have done the work, and there
+is one intruder less. He is actually gambling with the lice on his back.
+
+A fellow-gambler comes up and says: "Caleb, you have an heir in your
+family. Happy dog you should be."
+
+"Let's celebrate it with a game," says Caleb.
+
+He throws down a ten-dollar bill; the other lays down five silver
+dollars.
+
+Caleb shakes the dice, grins fiercely, throws them out, smiles a double
+smile, and says seven twice. This means a double victory. More lice have
+been killed, and five dollars are won.
+
+"Five more! Will you have it?" asks Caleb.
+
+"I'm a gambling man and never flinch," says the other. He lays down five
+more silver dollars. Caleb rises and uses the post vigorously. His face
+is a solid grin. The dice are shaken and leap from his hand. The broad
+grin relaxes into a little smile that spreads so as to almost hide his
+nose. His left hand assists the post, while with the right he picks up
+the silver dollars.
+
+"A gambling man are you?" twits Caleb.
+
+"Yes," nods the other.
+
+"Then a generous man am I," continues Caleb. "Take the ten-dollar bill
+and remember you have met Caleb."
+
+"Caleb," replies the other, "I am a more generous man than you. Take
+back the counterfeit bill and keep the silver dollars you have stolen. I
+will assist you further by inventing a new way of killing lice."
+
+"Lice, sir?" roared Caleb. "Where are they? Do you mean----?"
+
+"I mean a post is a good louse-killer, but a little oil and a match are
+better."
+
+Caleb, as you know by this time, was a coward. He outran fire-and-oil
+justice, and was caught in the mesh of circumstances. He leaped over a
+beehive and alighted between two lines of barbed-wire fence. After
+spending the night with barbed-wire and bees he was very properly
+removed to the hospital.
+
+"His legs must be amputated," said the physicians.
+
+"That means what?" asked Caleb, arousing himself as from a dream.
+
+"Death, perchance," said they.
+
+"That means the morgue?" asked he, with a grunt.
+
+"For such as you, yes," replied one.
+
+"My legs, gentlemen, my legs! The morgue! The morgue! I see it. How cold
+it is! Gentlemen, are you gentlemen? My legs! My legs!"
+
+The next day he learned that his legs had been taken off. The following
+day he roared about the morgue and fought with both hands. He cried out
+at intervals:
+
+"Off! Off, you doctors! My legs are here to carry me from the morgue,
+but you are waiting to cut them off again. Off, you butchers! Come, my
+right leg! Come, my left! On, my right leg! On my left! Yes! Yes!
+Welcome, tried friends! Down the steps now! Halfway down are we! Back!
+Back, you butchers! You shall not! My right foot--you shall not turn
+around. 'Tis done. The toes are where the heel should be. I go a step
+forward and fall back a step. Your knives are sharp, you butchers. My
+right leg is off and hops upstairs. My left leg is off and hops
+downstairs. My body falls and is carried to the morgue. The morgue,
+gentlemen, is so cold--so cold!"
+
+After this there were several hours of indistinct raving. The next day
+his legless body was upon a marble slab in the morgue.
+
+His fellow-gamblers, hearing of his fate, begged his body that they
+might give it a "decent" burial. They removed it to an old out-house and
+sat up with it the first night. Why do they gaze upon it so often? Why
+do their hands touch his face and hands? Would they learn a lesson from
+the cold, deathly touch? The next night, the next, the next, and the
+next it is alone.
+
+You searchers of the city's offal, you living buzzards who remove the
+dead and rotten of your kind, fling open the doors! Is that Caleb you
+find? 'Tis a part of him. His legs are buried somewhere. His ears and
+fingers are in the pockets of his fellow-gamblers. Now carry out Caleb
+minus Caleb. Stop up your nose--stop up your nose!
+
+
+
+
+RODNEY
+
+
+Rodney was an illegitimate child. He knew not what this meant, but the
+sting of it embittered his young life.
+
+The Negro has as much prejudice as the white man. Under like conditions
+the negro would make the same laws against the white. This crept out in
+the treatment of Rodney. His worst enemies were always negroes. The
+Anglo-Saxon blood in his veins made scoffers of some and demons of
+others.
+
+To be pitied is the boy who has never framed the word "father" upon his
+lips. Rodney attempted it once, but failed, and never tried it again. He
+stood before his father bareheaded and with the coveted word upon his
+lips.
+
+"You have a fine head of hair," said his father.
+
+"That's what people say," replied Rodney.
+
+"Are you proud of it?"
+
+"Should I not be, sir?"
+
+"Well, my little man, it's a disgrace to you."
+
+This was the first and last meeting of Rodney and his father.
+
+Once two fine ladies of ebony hue visited his mother, to show their
+silk dresses and to take dinner. A large dish of parched horse-corn was
+placed in the center of the table. His mother said a solemn blessing,
+and the ladies looked vexed.
+
+"My dear people," she said, after looking them into a smile, "if you are
+good, this is good enough. If you are not good, it is too good. In
+either case, help yourselves."
+
+Rodney learned from this and similar incidents to make the most of a bad
+case.
+
+"A little corn, if you please," said one. She was helped plentifully by
+Rodney's mother.
+
+"Give me a part of yours," said the second to the first. She received
+about four-fifths of it.
+
+"You are too generous," said Rodney's mother, and refilled the plate.
+
+Rodney sat on the floor, stroked his cat, and eyed the fine dresses. The
+ladies munched with dignity, or fingered the laces on their sleeves.
+
+"I see Rodney has had the smallpox," said one.
+
+"Yes," replied his mother.
+
+"My boy had it, too."
+
+"How did it serve him?"
+
+"It killed him. All the good children die. It was a sad stroke to me.
+Well, since his death I have been able to dress like a lady."
+
+"Like a lady!" said the other. "How my old mistress used to say that
+word. I caught the inspiration then. It lingered in my bones a long time
+before it crept out thus."
+
+Here she surveyed her clothing with satisfaction.
+
+"I see that parched horse-corn and fine dresses go well together," said
+Rodney's mother, as she helped their empty plates.
+
+"You see we are considerate," said one.
+
+"Yes, and ladylike," said the second.
+
+"Yes, and patched with the blue and the gray," said Rodney's mother.
+
+They looked at their clothes, but saw not the point.
+
+"Mother," said Rodney, lying flat on his back, hugging the cat, and
+beating his heels upon the floor, "what is fine lace worth a yard?"
+
+"What is it worth, ladies?" said she.
+
+They looked at each other and frowned.
+
+"Rodney has begun, ladies. Be prepared," said his mother.
+
+Here she emptied the last of the corn into her visitors' plates.
+
+"When I washed for Mrs. Rodman a few months ago she had beautiful lace
+on her pillow slips."
+
+"Yes, she did, mother," said Rodney. Then, turning to the two women:
+"You ladies work for her now. You cook, and you wash. She and her
+daughter, General Bradford's wife, have gone to the springs. Did it take
+all the pillow-slip lace for your sleeves?"
+
+"Don't be too plain, Rodney," said his mother.
+
+"Mother, that's the dress General Bradford gave his wife. You know she
+told you about it. Mother, mother, what did you mean when you said that
+the ladies are patched with the blue and the gray?"
+
+"Mrs. Rodman is of the North. General Bradford is of the South. One
+means the blue, the other the gray."
+
+"If we are wearing things that belong to the blue and the gray, we are
+not patched," said one, as she arose from the table and put on her hat.
+
+"No," said the other, "we are ladies when we are dressed so."
+
+"That hat!" said Rodney.
+
+The other one put her hat behind her.
+
+"That one, too!" roared Rodney.
+
+"Look after your half-white brat," said they.
+
+"Look after your bare heads when Mrs. Rodman and her daughter return,"
+said Rodney's mother.
+
+"Now," said one, "I believe what the fortune-teller said."
+
+"Tell it," said the other.
+
+"I lost some money."
+
+"Yes, you did," said the other.
+
+"I went to the fortune-teller."
+
+"I went with you."
+
+"She pointed out a half-white brat."
+
+"She then pointed out his mother."
+
+"She said we would all meet some day."
+
+"Now we have met."
+
+"What did she say about parched corn?" asked Rodney's mother.
+
+"She said a half-white brat stole the money."
+
+"She said he would die, too," joined in the other.
+
+"That's all plain enough," said Rodney's mother.
+
+"Your boy is dead, and you know about his father."
+
+"Now," said the one with the hat behind her, "I don't blame Uncle Jack
+for choking your brat."
+
+"Nor Aunt Sally for throwing hot soup on him," said the other.
+
+"Uncle Jack and Aunt Sally," said Rodney's mother, "will be important
+witnesses when Mrs. Rodman and her daughter return. They know all, and
+will tell more."
+
+One of the ladies picked up a glass.
+
+"How's your cat, my son?"
+
+"My cat's nice and good and sweet."
+
+Here both ladies spat into the glass.
+
+"Cats are respectable and worth talking about, my son."
+
+"This we leave with you," said the one with the hat behind her, as she
+set the glass upon the table.
+
+"What do you take with you?" asked Rodney's mother.
+
+Both looked around a second. "Corn in our stomachs," said they.
+
+"Are the ladies insulted, mother?"
+
+"They are dull and nasty, my boy."
+
+The ladies hurried out, one knocking over a chair, the other
+deliberately pulling down a picture.
+
+"Here, mother," said Rodney, bringing her a comb and brush, "tidy up my
+cat. Mary's coming with her doll." The mother combed and brushed the
+cat, while Rodney jumped on and off the table for joy. In the meantime
+Professor Brandon was conversing with the ladies on the outside.
+
+"Ladies! ladies!" said he.
+
+"Ha! ha!" was the response.
+
+"Let it flow right along," continued the professor.
+
+"We'll be generous enough," said they.
+
+"Ladies, those poses are superb."
+
+"Professor, you can judge."
+
+"No one doubts it, ladies."
+
+"Professor, I need words just now," said one of them.
+
+"Professor, I need a professor," said the other.
+
+"That's epidemic, ladies."
+
+Little Mary entered the room and ran around holding her doll by one
+foot. "Oh! oh! oh!" said she.
+
+"Is your doll hurt?" asked Rodney, following her around the room with
+his cat in his arms.
+
+"No, no, no," replied she.
+
+"A cat for a doll," said Rodney.
+
+"I must tell it first," gasped Mary.
+
+"Go on, while I fan you with my cat, Mary!"
+
+"The professor and the ladies--are drinking--from--a big black bottle."
+
+"Let's see," said Rodney, as he ran to the door and peeped. Mary
+followed and stood behind him.
+
+"Ha! ha! let it flow right along," came from without.
+
+Rodney held up his cat for a bottle and made a gurgling sound. Mary held
+up her doll and imitated him.
+
+The professor now parted from the ladies and approached Rodney's home.
+As he walked into the room Rodney and Mary sat upon the floor and
+exchanged the cat and doll.
+
+"I am Professor Brandon," said he, pulling his mustache.
+
+Rodney went through the motion of pulling his, and Mary pulled the
+cat's.
+
+"'Tis delightful to meet ladies," said he.
+
+Rodney's mother nodded.
+
+"Schoolteaching would be unbearable were it not for meeting ladies."
+
+"Must you have the big black bottle every time?" asked Mary.
+
+Here Rodney held up the doll and made a drinking noise.
+
+"These young ones need curbing," said the professor.
+
+"So do appetites, sir," replied Rodney's mother.
+
+"I am a schoolteacher, madam," roared he.
+
+"I am a washerwoman, sir," was her reply.
+
+"Very well, I'll give you a job. What can you wash?"
+
+"Shirts."
+
+"What else?"
+
+"Drawers."
+
+"What else?"
+
+"Socks."
+
+"What else?"
+
+"Diapers, sir."
+
+"You are brutally plain, madam."
+
+"You are devilishly inconsiderate and inquisitive, sir."
+
+Both children emphasized the remark by beating upon the floor.
+
+"To my business," said the professor. "This boy should be at school.
+Where is his father?"
+
+"I ask you the same question, sir."
+
+"Madam, that leads me to suspect."
+
+"What does 'suspect' mean, professor?" asked Mary.
+
+"It means--the Latin of it is--let's see----"
+
+The professor stopped to pull his mustache.
+
+"It means to dream out something and swear it's true," spoke up Rodney's
+mother.
+
+"Madam, I want to talk to you about this boy's schooling. Have you any
+drinking water?"
+
+"No. Rodney, a bucket of water."
+
+"A bucket of water, Rodney. Go fast and return slowly," put in the
+professor.
+
+Rodney started briskly, but Mary held him back and looked saucily at the
+professor.
+
+"Let's bring back the bottle," laughed she, as both ran out.
+
+"First, madam, I am a professor. I hold a diploma from a college."
+
+"You carry it with you?"
+
+"Sometimes."
+
+"You have shown it to leading white men?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Well, many a good-meaning white man has been deceived by a college
+diploma in the hands of a negro."
+
+"You presume too far on your limited knowledge."
+
+"You travel too far on your flimsy diploma."
+
+"Secondly, madam, I would elevate the morals of the race."
+
+"Very good, sir. How?"
+
+"I would begin by cutting off from society every illegitimate negro
+child."
+
+"You would, in so doing, train your thumb and finger to pinch your own
+nose."
+
+"My mother and father were married, madam."
+
+"Your mother and her husband were married."
+
+"Madam, I came in the interest of your child's education."
+
+"You are a liar from the roots of your hair to your toe-nails. You came
+to pry into my private life and to take note of my mental stock. You may
+proceed, sir."
+
+"I haven't time to stay."
+
+"You have a sufficient supply with which to go."
+
+"If you were a lady, I would say prate on."
+
+"If you were a merchant, I would say speak tersely, weigh justly, and
+keep ever in mind a marble monument.
+
+"If you were a poet I would say tear out and fling to the crowd as much
+of your heart as you would have the crowd return. If you were a
+philosopher I would say weaken not your philosophy with wit, nor weigh
+down your wit with philosophy. Philosophy and wit are good neighbors,
+but indifferent twins. Since you are a fool, I will simply say all
+remedies have failed, and you are happy and safe in your ancient
+calling."
+
+Professor Brandon pulled his mustache a few seconds. He then said: "For
+your peace of mind, I will go."
+
+Rodney entered with a pitcher of water, and Mary with a big black
+bottle.
+
+"Have water, professor?" asked Rodney. Here Mary pretended to drink from
+the bottle. The professor took the pitcher and poured some of the water
+into the glass into which the ladies had spat some time before. He held
+it at some distance from him and said: "Woman's tedious, but pure water
+is wholesome."
+
+"Professor!" roared Rodney's mother.
+
+"You are just and polite, at last," calmly observed he.
+
+"What's in the glass, sir? Examine the glass."
+
+"That is best done in the dish-water."
+
+The professor was about to drink it when he saw the spittle.
+
+"You did this, boy?"
+
+"I was holding Mary's doll, professor," gasped Rodney.
+
+"Was it you, girl?"
+
+"I was holding Rodney's cat and your big black bottle, professor," slyly
+replied Mary.
+
+"You, madam?"
+
+"Be calm, professor. That is the compliments of your fine ladies,
+without whom schoolteaching would be unbearable."
+
+"They spat into this glass?"
+
+"No, professor," retorted Mary. "Rodney said they puked into it."
+
+"They had a mighty big stomach full of corn, anyway," put in Rodney.
+
+The professor dropped the glass and stepped out of the door, seemingly
+very uneasy about the stomach.
+
+"Professor," called Rodney's mother.
+
+He stopped and grunted.
+
+"Your attitude is undignified, sir."
+
+He started to answer, but his mouth was too full. Rodney's mother walked
+to the door backwards and closed it.
+
+"You did that, Mary," said Rodney.
+
+"How?" retorted Mary.
+
+"I didn't say they puked into the glass. I said they spat into it."
+
+"It's all one, Master Rodney, and give me my doll."
+
+"I won't. Give me my cat."
+
+"I won't. My doll."
+
+"My cat."
+
+They tugged at the doll and cat. Rodney's mother threw her arms around
+them, and said soothingly: "My Rodney and his little sweetheart, Mary!"
+
+
+
+
+TESNEY, THE DECEIVED
+
+
+Tesney, the frail, the good, the beautiful mulatto, was known of child,
+man, woman, and beast.
+
+"Wait, Tesney! We have something good for you and a secret to tell."
+Daily such invitations came from the white children of the neighborhood.
+Daily Tesney ate "good things" and listened to talks about dolls,
+playmates, stories, and so on. The dogs that accompanied the children
+pulled Tesney's apron strings and seemed to enjoy her good nature and
+the confidence of her little white friends.
+
+"What a servant she is!" said white family men, as they passed. "She
+fondles the babies, and they do not cry. She talks, and older children
+listen. She moves, and they follow her. She does not command, but they
+do her bidding. There should be a million such as she."
+
+"She is a lady born," said white women. "May no ill befall her."
+
+Tesney was servant to Mrs. Wakely, a wealthy Southern white woman.
+Tesney's presence was energy to the other young negro servants. They
+thought of her, and put thought into their work. They looked at her and
+dignified their persons. "There may be queens of the kitchen as well as
+queens of the parlor," said they. "We belong to the first. Let us glory
+in the honor."
+
+The lace curtains at the windows, the pictures on the wall, the lint on
+the carpet, the china in the closet, the wearing apparel of Mrs. Wakely,
+and the food on the table, all knew the touch of Tesney's delicate
+yellow hand. The washerwoman followed her instructions, and the clothes
+lasted months longer.
+
+The other servants learned through her that honesty in a servant is a
+greater virtue than dignity in a parlor queen, and the grocery bill was
+reduced ten per cent. She studied the needs of the family, and expenses
+were reduced ten per cent. more. Her forethought for the family and her
+genius in arranging games and work for the children gave Mrs. Wakely
+many hours of leisure and comfort.
+
+"The house can do without me for hours," said Mrs. Wakely to her guests,
+"but it cannot do without Tesney for a minute."
+
+Tesney's mother was a mulatto, with the hair and features of that type.
+She died when Tesney was too young to know anything about her. Tesney
+never knew her father, but she had a suspicion. Her suspicion was
+wrong, and it caused all her trouble. She heard Agnes, who knew her
+mother, talk, and it was upon Agnes' talk that Tesney had founded her
+suspicion.
+
+"He is my father," she often said to herself, as a certain rich man of
+another race passed by. "He will give me something some day."
+
+On her twenty-third birthday she saw Mrs. Wakely in company with this
+man. After leaving the man, Mrs. Wakely said: "Tesney, here is a ring
+your father sent to you. Look on the inside of it."
+
+Tesney looked, and read: "To my daughter, Tesney."
+
+"The man, Mrs. Wakely?" asked Tesney.
+
+"Your father."
+
+"His name, please?"
+
+"Do you not know? Has not Agnes told you all about it? She said she
+would."
+
+Tesney wore the ring, and renewed her hopes of getting something from
+the man whom she considered her father.
+
+That very afternoon a pony, hitched to a dogcart and driven by Tesney,
+became frightened and ran. To keep the two children behind her from
+jumping from the cart and receiving unnecessary bruises Tesney held them
+with one hand and gripped the lines with the other. However, the
+animal's wild flight was of short duration, for the man of Tesney's
+suspicion stopped the pony and led the now docile beast back to Mrs.
+Wakely's gate. As Tesney lifted the crying children from the cart he
+said:
+
+"Tesney, you are a good, brave girl. I was talking to Mrs. Wakely this
+morning about you. I gave her a ring for you. How do you like the
+present?"
+
+"Well, sir, well," answered Tesney.
+
+There were tears in her eyes, but the man did not see them.
+
+"Tesney," continued the man, "how would you like to live with me?"
+
+"Well, sir, well," answered Tesney.
+
+Mrs. Wakely now hurried from the house, having witnessed the
+misadventure of the ponycart.
+
+"Oh, thank you, Mr. Bankner, thank you!" she cried. "The children are
+all right, are they not? Tesney is a good, brave girl, isn't she?"
+
+"She is that, and more," replied the man, as he bowed and departed.
+
+Tesney wore the ring, remembered the invitation, and renewed her hopes.
+
+Three months from that day Tesney stood behind Aunt Agnes combing her
+hair while Agnes examined the ring. Agnes was about sixty years old, an
+ex-slave, a meddler, and liar. Her three hundred and fifty pounds kept
+her in her big arm-chair. There she made the coffee, beat the biscuits,
+abused the cook, lied to Mrs. Wakely, said the blessing, and urged all
+to live good Christian lives. She had nursed Tesney and knew her
+ancestry.
+
+She called Tesney her daughter, and wished her for a daughter-in-law.
+Tesney was fond of Agnes, but scorned her son, who was unfit for any
+woman.
+
+"Read, Aunt Agnes," said Tesney, "while I comb."
+
+"No; you jes' stop combin' an' read."
+
+Tesney read the inscription, and dropped a word about her suspicion.
+
+"Now, comb on, chile. Me! My! Whew! Stop, chile, stop! Dat comb's mighty
+fine. Whut dat you say 'bout dem ring-wuds an' dat big white man?"
+
+Tesney repeated the inscription and emphasized her suspicion.
+
+"Is dat so?" asked Agnes doubtfully.
+
+"Didn't you as good as say so, Aunt Agnes?"
+
+"Maybe I did, chile. Now, look heah, chile, is you gwine ter be my
+daughter-in-law?"
+
+"Aunt Agnes, it cannot be. You know your son is a bad man."
+
+"Yes, chile; but er bad man needs er good wife."
+
+"Thanks, Aunt Agnes; but it cannot be."
+
+"George, you triflin' rascal, come heah," Agnes called to her son.
+
+George entered and smiled at Tesney, who frowned and turned her back
+upon him.
+
+"Son," continued Agnes, "daughter says no. It's good 'nough. Go, you
+triflin' rascal, go."
+
+George went.
+
+"Chile," said Agnes, with a great show of kindness, "you is right. You
+knows dat you is good-blooded stock. Fine stylish white blood runs in
+yo' veins. You is right, chile. Look up! Look up! You knows whut de
+yeast does fur de bread. White dignity does dat fur yo' blood. You knows
+whut de skerecrow does fur de cornfield. White wisdom does dat fur yo'
+womanhood. Whut de steam does fur de steam-cyar white go-er-head does
+fur you. You is right, chile. Look up! Now you mus' be feelin' mighty
+good. Ain't you? George is er little no-er-count, but Agnes'll wuk fur
+Tesney, an' George'll wuk fur Tesney, an' won't dat be er good bargain?
+Honey chile, say dat it will, an' please de heart ob po' ole Agnes."
+
+"Aunt Agnes, it cannot be."
+
+"Does you mean dat, chile?"
+
+"I mean it, Aunt Agnes."
+
+"Does you mean eb'ry wud ob it?"
+
+"I mean every word of it."
+
+"Now, I'se gwine ter make you er speech, you ha'f-white nigger. You
+thinks bekase yo' face ain't whut you calls raal black, an' bekase yo'
+haih ain't smack-dab ter yo' haid, an' bekase---- Oh, Tesney, honey
+chile, don't cry dat way. Aunt Agnes wus jes' er foolin'. I takes it all
+back. Let me kiss you all ober de face. Dere now. I knows dat you's in
+good humor. You sees, chile, how Aunt Agnes kin hurt yo' feelin's. You
+better be George's wife den hab yo' feelin's hurt all de time."
+
+"It cannot be, Aunt Agnes. Don't ask me any more."
+
+"Now, I'll say de res' ob my speech. It'll not be er speech ob wuds,
+nuther. It'll be one ob acts. It'll hit you hard. It'll make you 'shamed
+ob yo-self. It'll dribe yo' friends ter turn dey backs erpon you. It'll
+put you out ob doors. It'll make you say: 'I'se er fool--er fool.' It'll
+hit you hard--hard."
+
+Agnes stopped to breathe. Mrs. Wakely entered the kitchen. Tesney was
+looking at the ring.
+
+"Tesney," said Agnes, "yo' mother wus er ooman nearly white, an' yo'
+father wus er nigger man."
+
+"My father!" gasped Tesney. "I have always learned that my father
+was----"
+
+"Yo' father wus whut I tells you, chile."
+
+"What have you always told me?"
+
+"Listen! I tells you de facts. I tells you de facts."
+
+"Aunt Agnes!" screamed Tesney.
+
+"Tesney," said Mrs. Wakely; "that information seems to trouble you."
+
+"Ha! ha! De chile! Ha! ha!" Agnes stopped to hold her sides.
+
+"Why, Agnes, what is the matter?" asked Mrs. Wakely.
+
+"Ha! ha! De chile thinks de man whut gibed you dat ring fur her is her
+father."
+
+"Do you, Tesney?" asked Mrs. Wakely sharply.
+
+Tesney put the ring on her finger and remained silent.
+
+"Speak, Tesney! The matter is serious," demanded Mrs. Wakely.
+
+"I do," answered Tesney. "Did not Mr. Bankner give you the ring for me?"
+
+"He did."
+
+"Did you not say that the ring was sent to me by my father?"
+
+"Your father sent it to you; but another brought it to me."
+
+"Is you sma't 'nough ter see de differunce between de sendin' an' de
+bringin' ob er thing, chile?"
+
+Tesney looked at Mrs. Wakely and nodded.
+
+"Have you not deceived yourself?"
+
+"I have in part. Aunt Agnes, here----"
+
+"De chile lies! De chile lies! Mrs. Wakely, de chile----!"
+
+"Be quiet, Agnes," demanded Mrs. Wakely. "You are too fat to become
+eloquent with ease and safety."
+
+"She better be," said the washerwoman, who happened to stop at the
+window a few seconds. "All de coffins erbout heah is fur heabenly-sized
+people."
+
+Agnes, in a rage at this interruption, turned and threw the rolling-pin
+at the washerwoman, but she was at a safe distance.
+
+"Tesney, Agnes said that she would explain this whole affair to you."
+
+"Missus Wakely, you has knowed ole Agnes er long, long time, an' jes' as
+sho' as you an' me is gwine ter de same heaben, jes' so sho' I wus gwine
+ter tell dis chile de whole truth, but she kep' on makin' de
+lookin'-glass talk erbout her face an' her haih dat I jes' thought I'd
+fling out er little hint an' lay low."
+
+"I knew your father, Tesney; and, as Agnes says, he was a negro."
+
+"I reckons you'll beliebe now," shouted Agnes. "De white folks done said
+so."
+
+"Heah is yo' rollin'-pin," said the washerwoman, as she paused at the
+window on her return.
+
+"Hand it heah," demanded Agnes.
+
+"I will when you is ob er sweet temper," answered the washerwoman.
+
+"Please to explain about my father and the ring."
+
+"Your father, Tesney," Mrs. Wakely went on, "was reared in Mr. Bankner's
+family. He married a woman whom none of us, save Agnes, ever knew.
+Shortly after the death of your mother, he killed a man in self-defense.
+Mr. Bankner's people, knowing the circumstances, furnished your father
+money with which to escape. Mr. Bankner, a few weeks before he gave me
+the ring, saw your father and told him of you. Your father bought the
+ring, had the inscription put in it, and intended to bring it to you
+himself. However, at the request of Mr. Bankner he had returned to the
+scene of the killing for trial, and was mobbed. Mr. Bankner secured the
+ring before his death, and gave it to me for you. Now, as we are to
+leave for the West within a year, Mr. Bankner would like to have you
+serve in his family. He holds himself somewhat responsible for your
+father's death, and would like to help you. I would have told you this
+before, but Agnes asked me to leave it to her."
+
+Mrs. Wakely now left the room, giving Agnes a stern look on her way out.
+
+"Aunt Agnes," sobbed Tesney, "I have been deceived as to my father, and
+maybe as to my mother."
+
+"Has you bin deceibed in me too, chile?"
+
+"Yes."
+
+"Den ma'ry George, an' be deceibed in him."
+
+"It cannot be, Aunt Agnes."
+
+"Now I'll say de res' ob dat speech I tol' you erbout. You may ma'ry
+George yit. Mr. Bankner may heah from dis. He _shall_ heah from it. Do
+you think he'd ever let you stay in his house den?"
+
+Tesney left the room in silence.
+
+"George, you triflin' rascal, come heah. I got things started, son.
+Listen! Watch me! You don't desarbe it, but watch me. Tell Mr. Bankner
+dat Tesney says dat he is her father. Go! You good as got Tesney now.
+Go!" As George went out the door, Agnes added: "Dat's er triflin'
+rascal, but he's my George." Agnes began to grind the coffee, but
+stopped to abuse the cook.
+
+George contrived to have the message of Agnes reach Mr. Bankner's ears.
+Agnes, in turn, told Tesney that the rich white man knew of her
+suspicion. Tesney looked at the ring, and said: "I am Tesney the
+deceived."
+
+A few months after this Mr. Bankner sent his wife and children to
+Europe, and came to board with Mrs. Wakely. Tesney, knowing that George
+had had his mother's message delivered, feared the result. She worried
+until she was a mere skeleton of her former self.
+
+"I cannot face my blunder," she said. "I must leave."
+
+She accordingly rented a room and lived alone. In a short time she took
+to her bed as the result of isolation and worry.
+
+When Agnes heard of Tesney's illness she said: "Dis is our chance, son."
+
+Her three hundred and fifty pounds were soon at Tesney's bedside. Tesney
+was flighty. George and the preacher came. George held her hand while
+the preacher asked questions. George answered for himself, and Agnes
+answered for Tesney.
+
+A week passed. Tesney arose from her pillow and said to Agnes: "Are you
+here?"
+
+"Yes, chile," answered Agnes; "an' George, yo' husban', is heah, too."
+
+"George, my husband!" ejaculated Tesney.
+
+"Yes, child," said the preacher, who happened to be present, "I married
+you to him a week ago."
+
+Tesney swooned, and fell back upon her pillow. When next conscious of
+her surroundings, Tesney found herself in bed in a log cabin, with her
+three-hundred-and-fifty-pound tormentor still at her side.
+
+From that time until her death she was a prisoner. Not more than a dozen
+times did she seem sane. She would stand before the glass and ask for
+her old self. Sometimes she called Agnes a girl. Then she would call her
+a woman.
+
+"Agnes," said she, on one occasion, "here is a rope. Let us skip."
+
+When Tesney's baby boy was between three and four weeks old George was
+killed in a drunken brawl. Two days afterward he was buried, a short
+distance from the house. Tesney was in bed. Agnes did not go to the
+grave. She dragged her three hundred and fifty pounds out doors to cool,
+cry, and repent.
+
+Tesney took a looking-glass from under her pillow and looked at herself.
+
+"Tesney has come back again," she said. "This is her face. This is her
+hair. Tesney has come back again." Then turning to the wasting child at
+her side, she said: "Don't cry, little rascal. You are a George, like
+your father. Little fool, don't cry. Night will soon come. You may go
+then. Cry, cry, little George! Stop! Stop!"
+
+Tesney fell asleep. After several hours she was awakened by the crying
+of her baby. It was night. She took the baby in her arms and stole
+softly out of the house in her bare feet. She went straight to George's
+grave and sat down upon it.
+
+"Little rascal," said she to the baby, "your father is in the ground and
+can't steal me any more. Agnes can't follow me. You must not be a big
+George. How you are growing! Stop! I'll hold your legs and arms. Stop!
+You won't? You must!"
+
+She dug a hole in the top of the grave with her hands. She placed the
+baby in it, and covered it as well as she could. She then sat on a stump
+nearby and said not a word for several minutes. Tesney, sitting there,
+paid no heed to the rising wind, nor the distant flash of the lightning.
+Presently it thundered. She arose, put her hand to her ear, like one at
+a telephone, and waited. It thundered again. She leaned to listen. There
+was more lightning.
+
+"My name?" asked she. "It is Tesney." There were renewed thunder and
+lightning. "My baby?" asked she. "I sent it up. Is it there?" Again it
+thundered, again the lightning flashed. "It is not there?" she asked. "I
+must come with it? All right! Welcome!" She ran to the grave and
+uncovered the baby. It kicked feebly and gave a faint cry. "I knew you
+were still here," she said. "The Voice of the Clouds said so." A
+terrible storm was breaking. "Listen, little rascal: We go together.
+Listen! The Voice is coming. We go! We go!"
+
+These were her last words. She embraced the baby and sat calmly down
+upon the grave amid the raging elements. The storm's fury lasted an
+hour or more. The next morning Tesney and the baby were lying dead on
+George's grave.
+
+Agnes had Tesney and the baby buried in the same grave with George.
+After ten years of terrible mental and bodily suffering Agnes died. A
+certain part of each day during this time she spent looking at Tesney's
+ring and praying aloud. Some said that her intense agony and earnest
+prayer thoroughly purged her soul of guilt. Others said not so. God
+knows.
+
+
+
+
+REGNAN'S ANNIVERSARY
+
+
+"I'll be up afore day to-morrow morning, Regnan."
+
+"I'll sleep an hour longer, Kitty."
+
+"That may bring bad luck, Regnan. Remember Nordad, the tinker."
+
+"He mended a pot and married a woman the same hour."
+
+"That was well enough. He always had a bit of bacon for the pot and a
+faithful wife."
+
+"What of his bad luck, Kitty?"
+
+"He fell asleep on the day of his anniversary, was kidnapped, gagged and
+locked up in his garret. On payment of a neat little sum his wife was
+informed where he was, just in time for the ceremony."
+
+"Anything may befall me, Kitty, just so we stand before the preacher
+again to-morrow night."
+
+Thus spoke Regnan and Kitty, his wife, the night before their
+twenty-fifth anniversary.
+
+Kitty arose early the next morning, fed Posey, the mare, chatted with a
+neighbor, and returned to find Regnan still snoring.
+
+"Regnan," cried she, "will you remember Nordad, the tinker?"
+
+"Kitty," rejoined Regnan, "will you always remember to bring bad news?"
+
+"Out with you, Regnan."
+
+"Be lovely to-day, Kitty."
+
+"The bottom of your foot is clean."
+
+"That tickles! That tickles, Kitty!"
+
+"Your big toe is a good door-knob."
+
+"Oh, Kitty."
+
+"Out, Regnan!"
+
+"'Tis better to stand on two feet than to lose one big toe. I love you,
+Kitty."
+
+"The way you stand such treatment shows it. A true lover is the old man
+who enjoys the whims of an old wife."
+
+"You are a young wife to-day."
+
+"A good breakfast, a hard day's work and the ceremony to-night! I'll
+warrant that you'll outshine the preacher, Regnan."
+
+Regnan and Kitty were good, religious people. They took pride in the
+fact that they divided their religious duties. He prayed night and
+morning. She said the blessing at all times. She gathered the moral and
+religious news of the neighborhood, and he discussed it for their own
+benefit. At these functions Kitty was Kitty and Regnan was Regnan.
+Joking and arguing always found other means of outlet.
+
+"Let us be serious, Kitty." She looked at him and nodded her haid. "Let
+us pray." They knelt and prayed. He prayed aloud, and she silently. His
+"amen" seemed to be a link connecting the past and the present. So much
+for a beautiful human picture.
+
+Regnan, his wife, and friends were negroes. He dealt in rags, old iron,
+and second-hand furniture. Kitty was a plain housewife.
+
+"I'll have a breakfast like the one we ate twenty-five years ago,
+husband."
+
+"Do, wife! I'll give Posey a good currying-ing."
+
+"Do, husband!"
+
+Kitty set about getting breakfast, and Regnan curried Posey. Kitty
+talked to the pancakes, and Regnan talked to Posey.
+
+"I would not burn a pancake on my husband's wedding day. Now, cakes,
+turn well!"
+
+"I would not slight you, Posey, on my wife's wedding day. Now, Posey,
+shining Posey, see yourself!"
+
+When Regnan and Kitty sat down to breakfast, Posey, hitched to the
+wagon, was standing with her head partly in the window. A pancake was
+passed to the plates of Regnan and Kitty, and one to the mouth of Posey.
+When breakfast was over Regnan kissed Kitty, patted Posey, and drove
+off, saying: "Nordad the tinker comes ever to my mind. I wonder what
+to-day will bring. I will prepare for to-night."
+
+Regnan had a district where he bought and sold. He was regular, honest,
+and good-natured; and therefore popular. His "rag-cry" was his own. It
+always brought trade. It ran something like this: "_R-a-g-s_, rags,
+rags, _r-a-g-s_! Any _r-a-g-s_, _o-l-d iron_? Come up, Posey! _R-a-g-s_,
+old iron!" This cry had brought a little fortune. As this was his
+anniversary he thought he would not buy any rags, but deal in other
+things.
+
+A newly married man, whose wife had made kindling wood of the furniture,
+sold Regnan a cooking stove. "Beware of the first wedding day," said the
+man. Regnan thought him unwise, and drove on. He knew of another newly
+married couple who were living in hopes of many anniversaries. To these
+he would sell the stove. He could fancy the good wife cooking pancakes
+for her husband. Ere he could reach them he exchanged the stove for a
+sofa. "All good wives need rest," said he. "The sofa will therefore
+serve as well as the stove. I can see the good man and his wife resting
+upon it now."
+
+Later in the afternoon an old friend stopped Regnan.
+
+"Now, listen," said he, "to an anniversary march. While I play you think
+of the days agone." The friend played, and the tears stole down
+Regnan's cheeks.
+
+"How much for the fiddle?" asked Regnan. "Take the fiddle for the sofa."
+The exchange was made. "The newly married couple are loving and patient.
+They can wait," said Regnan. "I will stop here and get my beaver hat,
+white vest, and swallow-tailed coat." He went into the tailor's shop and
+got them. He had had them cleaned for the anniversary.
+
+Regnan was now very tired. He had been in the hot sun all day. He had
+had nothing to eat since morning. Besides, the malaria made him drowsy.
+
+So he stopped under a tree to rest. The clothes and fiddle were
+tempting. He spread the coat upon some newspapers in the wagon and put
+the vest in the proper place. He then placed the beaver at the head.
+"Kitty," said he, as though she was present, "look at your husband." He
+became more and more drowsy. He played. He nodded and closed his eyes.
+He stopped playing with his fingers on the bow and the bow on the
+strings.
+
+Several boys were watching Regnan. They thought it would be nice to put
+the vest, coat, and hat on the biggest boy and dance around him while
+Regnan "played in his dreams." It was done. The boy so dressed stood in
+a clear place and held out the tails of the coat. The others circled
+around him.
+
+In every neighborhood there are at least two factions among the boys.
+Fight is born in a boy. Letting it out occasionally will help to tame
+him. It was so in this case. It happened that the opposing faction had
+business that way. When they saw what was going on, they cried: "Fun,
+boys, fun!" A dozen pebbles fell among the dancers, who fled from the
+attack, and the fun began. The beaver hat and swallow-tailed coat were
+kept in the lead. The opposing faction followed, threw pebbles, and
+laughed.
+
+Regnan awoke and began to play. "There must be fun in it," said he.
+"That reminds me of my young days." He looked into the wagon. The
+playing was cut short. He looked at the boys again. The beaver hat and
+swallow-tailed coat were kept in the lead. He called a spectator and
+paid him to take Posey and the wagon home. With fiddle in hand and
+thoughts on anniversary he followed the boys. The opposing faction
+stopped and scattered. It was growing dark. Regnan caught one of the
+boys and began to scold him.
+
+"The boy with the beaver hat and swallow-tailed coat is the one you
+want. We were trying to catch him," gasped the boy.
+
+This was the truth, but it misled Regnan. The boy escaped. Regnan
+gained on the others. The boy followed.
+
+"Mister," said the other boys, as Regnan overtook them, "we just can't
+catch him. There he goes. Mister do you care much for such old things?"
+
+As Regnan pursued his moving anniversary suit the boys fell in behind
+and shouted: "Run, partner, run! The sum that's after you is an old head
+plus young legs. Run, partner, run!" Here the boys left their partner
+and Regnan to finish the race.
+
+"Stop, thief!" cried Regnan. The boy looked back, and, thinking the
+fiddle a club, turned and ran into a pond. They were now on the edge of
+the town. Regnan called to the boy to come out, and raised the fiddle
+involuntarily.
+
+"If you throw," said the boy, "I will dip up water in your hat."
+
+Regnan called again, and up went the fiddle.
+
+"If you throw," cried the boy, "I will lie down in the water."
+
+It was growing darker. The boy was going farther into the pond.
+
+"It is the fiddle that frightens him," said Regnan to himself. He laid
+it beside a tree. "See, my boy, see! My hands are empty. I will come to
+you." He plunged into the pond and followed the boy.
+
+"I will wait on this side. The club is over there," rejoined the boy,
+going all the while.
+
+In trying to increase his pace, and watch at the same time, he stumbled
+and fell up to his neck in the water. The beaver upset and floated.
+
+Regnan caught it and pushed on. When the boy reached the bank his wits
+came to him. He pulled off the coat and vest, left them and disappeared
+in the darkness. Regnan embraced the hat, vest, and coat as he walked
+around the pond to get his fiddle. He was wet and felt a chill coming
+upon him. He sat down beside the fiddle. For an hour he shivered and
+thought of his wife, the neighbors, and the anniversary. All at once he
+thought of Nordad the tinker.
+
+Just then someone rode a horse up to the pond a short distance from him
+and let the reins fall for it to drink.
+
+"Am I to be kidnapped like Nordad the tinker?" whispered Regnan to
+himself. "I will crawl off." In dragging the fiddle one of the strings
+was broken. The noise frightened the horse. It plunged through the pond.
+The rider, in trying to reach the reins, fell into the water, but
+quickly rose to his feet and started in pursuit of the fleeing horse.
+Soon both horse and rider were out of sight and hearing.
+
+Regnan breathed freely and said: "My fiddle, it may be you have saved me
+from being kidnapped." He then arose and started homeward. An hour
+later he was on the lawn before his house. Posey, arrived home some time
+since, came up to him.
+
+"Posey, my girl," said he, "I wonder if your mistress is as patient as
+you are. Oh, how could she be?"
+
+He then crept up to a corner of the house where he could see and hear.
+Everything showed that Kitty had done her duty. She was sitting in the
+center of some twenty women. Some were fanning her; some were crying.
+Others were at her back conducting a mock marriage. The men and women at
+the window were discussing Regnan aloud.
+
+"He should never marry _me_ again," said one woman.
+
+"I would never let the first marriage stand," said another.
+
+"Don't be too hard on Regnan," spoke up one on the inside. "Remember his
+widow is listening."
+
+"What think you of his case?" asked a young man of an old one.
+
+"Well," answered the old man, "old Welby, who was a wiser man than
+Regnan, killed himself upon a similar occasion."
+
+"Gentlemen," asked the woman from within, "do you think that Kitty would
+look well in mourning?"
+
+The women on the outside laughed. Some of those on the inside cried
+aloud. Kitty buried her head in her hands.
+
+Regnan, now understanding the state of affairs, ran into the room and
+cried: "My Kitty!" His breeches were wet and muddy and he had on the
+wet, muddy swallow-tailed coat and vest. He held the wet, bedraggled hat
+in one hand and the broken fiddle in the other. At his call Kitty made
+no motion, but kept her face hidden. The women formed a close circle
+around her. Those on the outside sneered: "My Kitty!" while the men
+yelled: "Scat, old tom, scat!" and "Is he drunk?" "Is he crazy?" "Is he
+going to kill Kitty?" "Help! Help! Call an officer!"
+
+These were some of the cries that came from different parts of the room.
+Regnan ran around the circle, crying: "My Kitty! Am I drunk? Am I crazy?
+Am I going to kill you, Kitty?" Now two men seized Regnan and dragged
+him toward the door.
+
+Just then the preacher entered the other door, wet and muddy from head
+to foot. He raised his hand, and Regnan was released. Kitty, noting the
+hush, peeped through her fingers, first at Regnan and then at the
+preacher. There was a tense silence. The preacher now spoke. He told of
+Regnan's trouble with the fiddle, clothes, and pond.
+
+"How do you know?" asked Regnan.
+
+"It was my boy who kept the vest, coat, and beaver in the lead. Tell the
+adventure yourself."
+
+"Not here! I will tell it to Kitty."
+
+"What about yourself, parson?" asked Kitty.
+
+"While on my way here," said the preacher, "I stopped my horse at the
+pond to drink. There was a noise like the breaking of a fiddle string."
+
+"The fiddle again," interrupted Regnan, and held it up.
+
+"My horse became frightened and ran through the pond. I fell off, waded
+out, and have not seen the horse since."
+
+"That's true, ladies and gentlemen."
+
+"How do you know?" asked the preacher.
+
+"I was there, parson." Regnan then told of the chill, the broken string,
+and the accident to the rider.
+
+By this time the people were around the edges of the room, leaving
+Kitty, Regnan, and the preacher in the middle.
+
+Regnan kissed his wife, and said: "Are you my Kitty?"
+
+"Since you and the parson are so much alike in dress and story, he may
+answer for me."
+
+"I will, my good woman." He said a few solemn words, and the important
+business of the night was over.
+
+For many days the town was alive with the story of Regnan's
+anniversary. Thereafter, whenever Regnan wished to tell Kitty the story
+he always played a march on the fiddle first.
+
+The preacher later turned his boy over to Regnan to be punished for his
+mischief.
+
+It was decided that he should go on the wagon with Regnan for three
+months and cry out: "Rags, old iron." The lad did so willingly. During
+his enforced apprenticeship his father died, leaving him homeless, as
+his mother had died in his infancy, and Regnan adopted the boy, who
+became a valuable assistant to the old man in his business. Before the
+lad was of age Regnan and Kitty both died, and left the preacher's son a
+snug little fortune. He kept the fiddle to remind him of the ways of
+Providence.
+
+
+
+
+"KOTCHIN' DE NINES"
+
+(A NEGRO TALE CURRENT IN LOUISVILLE)
+
+
+"Git up from dar. Whut's you dreamin' erbout? No need ter ask, fer I
+knows. You's dreamin' right now 'bout kotchin' dem nines. I bounds you
+dun had er dream last night. I knows it by dat smile in de corner of
+your mouth. You kin smile outen both corners, ef you wants ter, but you
+don't git dis fifty cents I got."
+
+"Old woman, I got er new dream."
+
+"Whut's it erbout?"
+
+"Dem nines."
+
+"Look heah, old man, you take dat dream and yourself an' go out ter dat
+woodpile so's I kin git some breakfast. You's got er dream, an' I'se got
+fifty cents, an' we's gwine ter keep whut we has."
+
+"I'se gwine ter tell you dis dream, ef I has ter pay you ter listen.
+Take dis dime."
+
+"Make your story mighty short. I wonder ef dis heah dime is tainted
+money. Ef it is---- Well, I reckons it ain't."
+
+"I wuz in er great big parlor, an' you an' de chillens wuz dar. An' it
+wuz in er great big house, an' you owns it."
+
+"Wuz I bossin' it?"
+
+"Oh, yes!"
+
+"Go on wid your dream, old man."
+
+"Dat parlor wuz so fine dat when you sneezed you asked de pictures on de
+wall ter 'scuse you."
+
+"Go on wid your dream, old man. We kin habe breakfast at dinner time."
+
+"When you walked on de cyarpet you fairly bounced up an' down, an' when
+de chillens played on de payano you said: 'Dis ain't heaven, but we's
+heah, and dat's de same thing.' De spoons an' knives an' forks was
+silver, an'----"
+
+"An' you's still got more ter say?"
+
+"Yes, an' everything else wuz jes' like whut de white folks has."
+
+"Whut bringed erbout all dat in your dream?"
+
+"It wuz kotchin' de nines in de lottery."
+
+"Is you sho you kin kotch 'em wid your eyes open?"
+
+"Dey's bound ter come wid dat dream back of 'em."
+
+"Old man, you's jes' fishin' 'round ter borrow dis fifty cents I'se
+got."
+
+"Never lend money when you's got er soft snap like dis, old woman. Jes'
+'vest your sixty cents in de nines, an' I'll do all de rest. De nines
+is comin', an' when dey comes we'll be jes' like de white folks."
+
+"Heah's de sixty cents. I'll 'vest it."
+
+"Old woman, de nines is yourn now. I'se goin' erway on foot, but I'se
+comin' back in one of dese kerridges on top. When you sees me comin',
+fling oil on de cabin an' burn it down. I'll be on top de kerridge in
+all my dignity. Habe de chillens out heah, an' let 'em be er singin' an'
+er dancin'. Keep your eye on de road, an' when you sees er little speck
+on de road, why dat's me. When I gits back we'll all git into de
+kerridge an' drive off ter er new home, and leave de cabin in ashes.
+Good-by, old woman, till I comes again."
+
+The old man walked into the city to play the lottery. He thought fifty
+cents would be enough to invest in "de nines," so he bought ten cents'
+worth of bananas to give him strength to stand his new fortune.
+
+"When I'se through eatin'," said he, "I'll play de nines."
+
+He stood on a stone wall that overlooked a row of public carriages, so
+that as he ate he could be thinking of his ride back home. He did not
+think of the harm in the banana peels he dropped upon the wall, until he
+stepped upon one. He fell between two horses hitched to a carriage, was
+kicked by them, and left with both legs broken.
+
+When the hackman discovered where the old man lived, and that he had
+fifty cents on his person, he had the injured man placed on top of the
+carriage, took a seat by his side, and drove him home.
+
+The old man was now thinking of the bananas and the cabin, and his wife
+was thinking of "de nines an' de kerridge." She was watching the road.
+When the old man saw his wife in the road, and remembering his parting
+words to her, he cried out: "Old woman, old woman, don't burn de cabin."
+
+She, recalling what her husband had told her, and thinking he was
+calling to her to hurry up and fulfill his instructions, called to the
+children: "Fling on de oil, chillens! Light er match an' let de cabin go
+up in smoke, fer your daddy is er-comin' on his own kerridge wid all his
+dignity on him. Look how proper his legs looks. Dey is straight out
+before him an' his arms is er-wavin'. He's kotched de nines, sho'. Sing
+an' dance, fer he's kotched de nines!" When the carriage stopped the old
+woman was still instructing the children in their work of destruction,
+and the cabin was ablaze.
+
+"Old woman!" called the old man.
+
+"Stop, chillens!" screamed she; "dey's sumpin' wrong wid your daddy's
+voice."
+
+"Yes," replied he, "an' dey's sumpin' wrong wid my legs. I bought a
+dime's worth of bananas, an' dis man charge me fifty cents ter bring me
+home wid both legs broke, an' dere wuz no money left ter play de nines."
+
+"Husban'," said she, "your little speech don't 'zackly 'splain matters."
+
+The old man said nothing, but groaned in anguish.
+
+There was no more talking, but much working over legs; and a bright day
+dream was banished to the limbo of things that are not.
+
+
+
+
+A TOWN SKETCH
+
+
+There were about fifteen hundred people in the town of Lockburg. Some
+five hundred of these were negroes. Nearly every white man owned his
+home; nearly every negro owed his rent. Nearly every white man had a
+bank account; nearly every negro, a grocery account. Renfroth, the
+banker, was an ordinary man of the white race. Jiles Brennen, the
+smartest negro in a circle of twenty miles, did not know the meaning of
+interest. White children listened to their parents, read the daily
+papers, and discussed the signs of the times. Negro children paraded the
+street, delighted in being out of sight and hearing of their parents,
+and but few could tell the time of day on the face of a clock. The white
+teachers were competent and faithful. The one negro teacher had neither
+legs nor training. The white people returned from church saying: "These
+points in the sermon fit right into our business ventures. These show
+our need of moral fiber and the remedy. May they do us good, as the
+truth always does the meek and far-seeing." The negroes returned from
+church shouting and praising some "preaching man."
+
+Jiles Brennen and several others were an exception to this rule. Jiles
+knew most of the white people better than they knew themselves. When he
+conversed with them he always "talked up." He knew the negroes better
+than they wanted to know themselves. There was not one who could not
+repeat a score of "wayside sermons" preached by Jiles. "A rat to its
+hole, and a negro to his folly," Jiles used to say. "When the last
+trumpet sounds some negro will be dividing his time between saying
+'amen' to a sermon and 'cluck, cluck' to his neighbor's chickens." This
+remark brought Jiles more than fame. It brought blood.
+
+"If the teacher and preacher of this district were killed and put into a
+bag, their ghosts would be too lazy to say 'Howdy.'" When the preacher
+heard this he offered a prayer for Jiles that was intended to remind him
+of a warm region. When the teacher heard of this remark, he said: "As I
+have no legs to go after the blackguard, I will let him come to his
+sense at leisure."
+
+One dark night, as the preacher and others were crawling across a creek
+on a log someone held up a lantern in front of them.
+
+"Go on," said the rest to the preacher.
+
+"I can't," replied he. "This light blinds me."
+
+"Come on," shouted Jiles, "my light has blinded you before."
+
+The white people took up the remark, and with it fought all Jiles'
+future battles.
+
+Sickness and death determined negro society in Lockburg. All visited the
+sick. All attended the funeral. Why should not all attend all other
+functions? All answered the question for themselves, and attended
+regularly.
+
+A score of men and women were chatting in Sister Renfro's bedroom when
+the preacher peeped in at the door and paused long enough to say: "Come
+out to 'sifting meeting' to-night. Spread the news."
+
+"Will Jiles be there with his lantern?" asked Neal Grafton, a friend of
+Jiles.
+
+"Never mind about that," answered Sister Renfro. "Say what you please
+about him, but he's a preaching man."
+
+Sister Renfro's guests soon began to spread the news. Neal Grafton was
+the most active of all. He stood where he could command four corners.
+
+"Sister Polly," he called to a rather corpulent woman who was passing
+with a heavy bundle of clothes on her head, "stop a minute--'sifting
+meeting' to-night!"
+
+"What you say, Brother Grafton? Come here! You knows I can't hear like I
+used to. I caught cold from shouting at the big meeting five years ago.
+Who could have kept sober feet? _That_ was a preaching man."
+
+"I say, Sister Polly----"
+
+"Now, stop, son. Let me get in hearing order." After wiping her face
+with her apron, she said: "Now go on, son."
+
+"Sister Polly, there will be a 'sifting meeting'----"
+
+"Hold, son! The bundle comes down over my ears. Raise it a little. A
+'sifting meeting'? Where? Oh! at the church? Raise up the bundle again,
+son. Now hold it there. Now tell me about it."
+
+"That's all, Sister Polly."
+
+"No! No! It's been five years since we had one. You heard your mother
+tell about it, didn't you?"
+
+"Yes, but----"
+
+"I know you did; she was there. Sister Renfro was there. I was there. It
+was a glorious time."
+
+"Yes, Sister Polly, but----"
+
+"My head's just beginning to rest, son. Well, the negroes lied and lied,
+but one told the truth."
+
+"May I put the bundle on the ground?"
+
+"The clothes are clean, son. I'll head them again soon. That sister told
+the truth and her head fell. Hold a little longer."
+
+"Oh, my arms, Sister Polly!"
+
+"Hold till I raise up that woman's head. I'll listen afterward."
+
+"After I take the bundle?" "No, son. Hand it here. 'Sifting meeting' at
+the church? I'll be there."
+
+Sister Polly went on humming, and left Grafton rubbing his arms. He
+notified a number of others, at a distance.
+
+Polly delivered the clothes and mentioned the "sifting meeting."
+
+"What is such a meeting, Polly?" asked her employer.
+
+"It's a meeting where you tell what you don't know and where people know
+what you don't tell. If you want more light, come to the meeting.
+Good-by, I'm in a hurry," answered Polly. Her employer was content to
+hear from the meeting.
+
+An hour before meeting time Sisters Polly and Renfro were ready. They
+had spent considerable time arranging their hair. Polly's hair was
+rolled around a saucer that belonged to her employer. Sister Renfro's
+was put into the same shape by means of the flounce of an old black
+dress.
+
+Just then one might have seen forty or fifty people, moving in single
+file, led by one with a lantern. There were no lights in the town. It
+was customary for someone with a lantern to come along and gather up the
+church-goers. The leader to-night was Grafton. Sisters Polly and Renfro
+joined the procession in the rear. It moved silently on to the end of
+the little bridge, when Sister Renfro stumped her foot and fell. Sister
+Polly, in trying to assist her, fell also. Both had to return home, and
+were late in reaching the meeting. Grafton led the procession into the
+church.
+
+The church was cold, and fairly well filled with smoke. The sexton was
+rubbing his eyes. The preacher with closed eyes was tapping his foot and
+humming a hymn. Grafton suggested that the windows and doors be opened a
+few minutes, but the preacher demurred, saying that it was too cold. In
+consequence, the cloud-laden condition of the room was not altered. It
+is difficult to understand how the congregation remained in that smoky
+room two hours; but they did so.
+
+The next day Neal Grafton reported the proceedings of the church to
+Jiles Brennen, and it took Jiles just six months to laugh "sifting
+meetings" out of the town and the community.
+
+Sisters Polly and Renfro declared the preacher stopped the meeting to
+keep them from showing their new style of head-dress, and it took him a
+year to live down the accusation.
+
+"Is your head well?"
+
+"Not quite. Is yours?"
+
+"Well it's doing better than it did after the other 'sifting meeting.'"
+These remarks and others of like tone showed the nature of the meeting,
+and also served to divide the congregation.
+
+And the teacher? He did not count, and never had a wish to.
+
+
+
+
+THE STUMP OF A CIGAR
+
+
+Stump of cigar, as I am, I have a history that is interwoven with that
+of human beings. When I was in the form of seed I was safely housed in a
+nice glass jar in a large seed store. For some reason or other I was
+given the best shelf in the show window.
+
+One day a beautiful young lady came into the store and priced me.
+
+"Why," said the clerk, "that is----"
+
+"Never mind," said she, "what it is. I simply want to know the price."
+
+He told her; she paid it, and bore me off gracefully.
+
+"Ah," said I to myself, "I shall never again see the young man who comes
+every day and stops opposite the show-window." One windy day, as he
+stood in his usual place, a lady's hat came rolling along the pavement.
+What immediately followed this will be told further on.
+
+As I said before, the lady bore me off gracefully. It was night when she
+entered her well-lighted apartment. "She will examine me," thought I,
+"and sniff me. Then how I will worship the tears that fall from her
+eyes."
+
+However, I received no such attention as I had anticipated, for the
+young lady simply placed me in the center of a large table, sounded a
+bell, and began to talk, as if addressing someone present.
+
+"You were there, weren't you? You will take me at my word, will you?
+Let's see. This is how it will go." She then walked to the middle of the
+floor and acted out a little play that will be given further on. As she
+finished, she turned to a young woman who was standing in the door and
+said harshly: "What do you want?"
+
+"The bell sounded," replied the young woman.
+
+"That was not for you," said she. "That was for the devil." She threw a
+glass at the young woman and left the room. Several times during the
+night I heard her say: "That was not for you. It was for the devil."
+
+At eight the next morning the servants put breakfast on the table,
+leaving me still in the middle. At ten minutes past eight my mistress,
+whom I shall call Ladybug, came into the room and addressed a little
+speech to me that I did not understand until matters grew much more
+serious. You could not understand it at this point, so it will not be
+given now. Five minutes later the young woman who had been chased out of
+the room the night before, came in. For the sake of convenience I shall
+call her Butterfly. I was astonished to see Ladybug embrace Butterfly
+and kiss her twenty times on the forehead. I thought this a bit of
+amusing comedy. I afterwards found it stern tragedy.
+
+They sat opposite each other at the table and remained about thirty
+minutes. They spent the time talking and smiling. They did not eat in
+the common acceptation of the term.
+
+Ladybug rolled her chicken into nicely rounded balls and tossed them
+down her throat. Butterfly soaked her chicken and bread in milk and
+drank the milk.
+
+They finished this unusual task together, and started to leave the room,
+hand in hand, when Ladybug, glancing at the clock, whispered to
+Butterfly: "I must go; it is time for me to test his heroism and
+devotion."
+
+Coming to where I rested, Ladybug picked me up, pressed me closely to
+her heart, and left the room, carrying me with her. She went straight to
+a nearby lake, and entered a little boat, in which sat a lone
+individual. It was the young man who had stood so often opposite the
+show-window. Ladybug took a seat in the boat, and in silence the young
+man rowed across the waters.
+
+Two hours on the lake were we, and no words were spoken. Then rising,
+still in silence, Ladybug hurled me upon the bosom of the lake. Twenty
+times I was thrown into the water, and nineteen times rescued by the
+young man. The twentieth time? It was fate and heroism. Ladybug pressed
+me closely and began to rock from side to side. This she did twenty
+times, each time more and more violently. Her great black eyes seemed to
+burn into his all the while.
+
+She then once again tossed me into the water--and leaped after me. This
+was the action of the play she rehearsed out in her room that night when
+first I came. The young man followed Ladybug in her mad plunge, and at
+length succeeded in bringing her to their craft. Ten minutes later she
+was stretched out upon a boat, alive but unconscious. The young man was
+flesh for the fish, and I was in possession of a countryman.
+
+When Ladybug regained consciousness and learned that the young man had
+been drowned, she said: "My lover is free. Hell cannot hold him. Human
+blood and water have atoned for his crime." This is the little speech
+she addressed to me that first morning. Then it had been put in the
+future tense.
+
+Twelve months later a beggar gave Butterfly a hand of tobacco for his
+supper. While he ate she rolled the best leaf into me, placed me between
+her teeth, and left the room. Soon Ladybug entered, sounded a bell, as
+was her nightly custom, and waited.
+
+In a few minutes a hideous form entered, smoking me.
+
+"I am the devil," said the shape.
+
+"I am his mistress," said Ladybug, and seized the shape by the throat.
+The beggar, whom Ladybug had not seen, and whom Butterfly had forgotten,
+was present, and tried to separate them. In so doing he caused me to get
+entangled in the laces worn by the woman, communicating my fire to the
+flimsy garments. Now, the hideous form was Butterfly. Soon the clothing
+of both was ablaze, when they were darting about the room, the beggar
+trying to help first one and then the other. Both fell across the piano
+about the same time, and began to reach out, as if to clamber from the
+flames. In this way they played, as it were, their own dirge. When the
+sounds ceased they were dead. A mystery? Yes! No!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+On the morning of the wedding-day a groom-to-be sailed out upon the
+lake. Said he to himself: "Christian people say that he who provides not
+for his household is worse than an infidel, and that a millstone had
+better be placed about his neck and be sunk into the sea. What have I
+for wife and children? Prosperity has passed me by. Friends are not
+friends. Fate is my executioner."
+
+Three days after this his body was recovered and buried.
+
+The preacher said to the people: "Suicide is an unpardonable sin. The
+young man, therefore, who was of noble birth and parentage, who was
+chaste in life and honorable in business, is in hell."
+
+Ladybug, the dead man's fiancée, believed the rash-judging preacher. She
+soon lost her reason. Then came upon her the hallucinations that wrought
+the other tragedies. She believed that if her lover's twin brother, the
+young man of the fatal boat ride, would stand opposite the seed store
+for twenty days, and then perish as described in the boat ride, her
+lover would be released from hell and returned to her. Ladybug, among
+other hallucinations, believed that the number twenty held potent
+virtues; hence, the twenty days, twenty kisses, and the like. The lover
+was twenty years old, hence Ladybug's counting by twenties. The twin
+brother out of pity consented to humor her whim, not thinking it would
+cost him his life.
+
+Ladybug passed the seed store every day to see if he was true to his
+pact. As she passed the twentieth day, her hat blew off. He started to
+get it, but she said: "Let it be. Some of my troubles may roll away with
+it. I will be at the boat to-morrow morning with a charm. Then my lover
+shall live again. Blood and water shall atone for his crimes."
+
+She immediately bought me of the clerk. There was no logic in this part
+of the affair. She simply thought the first thing her eyes fell upon
+would serve her purpose.
+
+To make sure of her lover's return, she would also practice upon
+Butterfly, her sister. Butterfly, too, submitted to humor her whim.
+
+The embraces and twenty kisses were the beginning of this.
+
+Butterfly of her own accord had dressed and acted the devil on the fatal
+night, in the hope that the appearance of the devil would act as a
+counter-shock, and restore Ladybug's reason again. The presence of the
+beggar was a mere accident. The hand of tobacco out of which I was made
+was ground from the jar of seed left with the countryman.
+
+As I lay upon the floor that dreadful night and saw Ladybug and
+Butterfly lying dead across the piano, I said to myself: "Stump of
+cigar, as I am, I have a history."
+
+
+
+
+A RUSTIC COMEDY
+
+
+Abraham and Ruth, his wife, were stingy and childless. Three children
+had come to them, whose taking off left Abraham embittered against men.
+Ruth often said: "Complain not, Abraham, my man. Is not an angel more
+than a child? The little ones were your flesh, but my soul. Complain
+not, Abraham, my man."
+
+Abraham had met, wooed, and wed Ruth in the fields, and ever afterward
+kept her there. Side by side they toiled, eating little, visiting
+seldom, and ever replenishing the money-bag at the bottom of the meal
+barrel. At the time of this incident the money bag was full and the meal
+barrel was about empty.
+
+It was winter, and the old couple had just returned from a visit to a
+neighbor. As Abraham stirred the fire he said: "Ruth, we are getting old
+and must soon be done with things earthly. We have toiled hard and been
+a little saving. The neighbors have never had the opportunity of finding
+fault with your cooking; nor has the good parson ever had the hardihood
+to look this way for a contribution. I have been thinking of the best
+way to dispose of our wealth just before the breath leaves our bodies.
+Ruth, like yourself, I have always been pious-minded and desirous of
+doing something that will benefit the neighbors, and at the same time
+start their tongues to wagging about our good parts. It strikes me the
+best way to do this is to leave our money to erect a parsonage and to
+place a bell in the chapel. The bell will spread our fame above, and the
+women who visit the parson's wife will spread it below. I know from
+experience, Ruth, that it is a blessing as well as a curse to have ones
+acts linked with the tongue of a woman. Now, what think you?"
+
+"Abraham," said Ruth, "I have always thought you had some good aim stuck
+away in your soul; and as time rolled on your good angel would discover
+it to you. This is why I have seldom differed from you. Why wait until
+we die to have this done? Let us take our savings of years to-morrow and
+place them in the hands of the parson."
+
+"You have spoken wisely, my dear wife," said Abraham. "It shall be
+done."
+
+After kissing Ruth, Abraham turned and stirred the fire. Just then
+someone knocked at the door. Abraham opened it, and in came a stalwart
+stranger, carrying a pair of saddle-bags. He asked for supper and a
+night's lodging. The old couple frankly told him they had no supper for
+him, but he was welcome to warm by the fire and sleep in the loft. He
+gladly accepted their proffer, and took his seat by the fire. Soon he
+began to spin yarns of all lengths and descriptions, and ended by
+telling how, while stopping with an old couple, he had kept them from
+being robbed. After this he crept upstairs and retired.
+
+When Abraham thought the stranger was asleep he told his wife to prepare
+an ashcake for their supper. She told him there would not be meal enough
+if she threw away the husk.
+
+"Well," said he, "put in husk and all."
+
+The ashcake was soon spread upon the hearth and covered with hot ashes.
+Abraham bowed his head as though to ask a blessing.
+
+"Not yet," said Ruth. "We are told there may be many a slip between the
+cup and the lip." Here they were interrupted by a noise from above.
+
+"My dear friends," said the stranger, as he tumbled downstairs. "I
+forgot to tell you how my land runs." He took the poker, and, placing it
+in the middle of the ashcake, and moving it in keeping with the words,
+said:
+
+"My land runs north, south, east, and west; then, coming back to the
+middle, it runs around and around." Having thus ruined the ashcake, he
+went back upstairs. After a considerable silence, Abraham said: "The
+Lord giveth and the Lord taketh, and blessed be the rope that hangeth
+the stranger."
+
+After removing their treasure from the meal barrel and almost
+worshipping it, they returned it and retired. They were soon fast
+asleep, but the stranger was not. Hours passed, and still the stranger
+was awake. Before knocking at the door to be admitted he had heard the
+old couple's talk concerning their money, and what they intended to do
+with it the next day. He had also seen them take it from the barrel, and
+replace it. He was now thinking about it. What were his thoughts? Was he
+planning some way to rob them? Was he thinking how he might protect them
+in a case of emergency? Hearing a noise below, he crawled to the opening
+and looked down. He saw that the side window had been opened. Looking
+farther, he saw a man stooping over the meal barrel. With the greatest
+precaution he descended and slipped up behind the man and soon gagged
+him with a handkerchief. He held the intruder easily by pressing him
+against the barrel. Beside the barrel lay a meal sack. This the stranger
+slipped over the intruder's head and arms, and wrapped him around with a
+rope that was lying near. By this time Abraham and his wife were awake.
+
+"Look," said the stranger, "what I have done for you. This thief almost
+had your treasure when I apprehended him. He is all right, now. Where
+shall I put him. What about this closet here? You know we must keep him
+until morning and turn him over to the officers." With this the stranger
+dragged the robber into the closet.
+
+"Let us have more light," said Ruth.
+
+"No," said the stranger; "there may be more. Light might frighten them
+away. I want to serve you well to-night. You know I owe you a little
+something for listening to how my land runs."
+
+"What was that white something," said Ruth, "you had over the fellow's
+head?"
+
+"It was a meal sack," said the stranger.
+
+"That is strange, indeed," said Ruth. "There was not a meal sack on the
+place when we went to bed."
+
+"This is a strange night," said the stranger. "I am your friend, and yet
+I am so strange I would not let you eat that delicious ashcake. Go to
+bed, Aunt Ruth. Uncle Abraham and I will watch the thieves. The Lord
+giveth and the Lord taketh; and, Uncle Abraham, will you finish the rest
+of it?"
+
+Abraham said nothing. He thought the stranger was getting very familiar;
+but since he had done them such a good turn they could stand almost
+anything at his hands.
+
+Ruth could not return to bed without first looking into the meal barrel
+in search of her treasure. It was there, and around it were a dozen or
+more bundles.
+
+"How is this?" said she. "It is quite an honest thief that will take one
+treasure and leave another."
+
+"Be not deceived," said the stranger; "a thief is by honor as a criminal
+is by his chains. A criminal does not worry himself and bruise his hands
+against his chains because he wishes to atone for his evil ways, but in
+order to get loose so that he may continue his crimes. Whenever a thief
+puts forth an act that smacks of honor, it is simply that he may conduct
+his business on a larger scale. Don't you see the point, Aunt Ruth? The
+thief we have in the closet stole those things somewhere else. He was
+afraid to leave them outside lest someone should steal them from him.
+When he saw your bag of money was so heavy he could not take them both,
+he concluded to leave the things and take the money."
+
+"Why did he take the pains to put them into the barrel?" said Ruth.
+
+"That is clear enough," said the stranger. "Had he put them on the floor
+you might have stumbled over them before morning and had your attention
+drawn to the robbery ere he could have gotten out of the neighborhood.
+By the way, he must have had the bundles in that sack in which he is
+now safely housed. He had emptied the sack before I saw him, and, I
+think, was stooping over to lift out the bag of money." Ruth and Abraham
+accepted this as a logical argument, and Ruth was soon in bed and
+asleep.
+
+"I think I hear footsteps," said Abraham to the stranger.
+
+"I am quite sure of that, sir," said the stranger. "I will settle him
+about as I did the first. I have a handkerchief. You get a bed quilt and
+a cord and follow me." They walked into the yard, the stranger leading.
+In the distance they saw a figure approaching.
+
+"Let us go a little farther over this way," said the stranger. The words
+were hardly out of his mouth before he uttered a groan. When Abraham
+looked, the stranger was nowhere to be seen. Another groan, however,
+located him. He had fallen into an old cistern. On turning, Abraham
+stumbled over a ladder. With this the stranger was soon rescued.
+
+By this time they could see that the approaching figure was a man with
+something like a sack on his shoulder. Instead of coming straight to
+them he turned his course a little in order to reach the side window.
+
+"Uncle Abraham," said the stranger, "while we are out here wrestling
+with this fellow, some other one might go in and make off with the bag
+of money. Don't you think you had better bring it out and hold to it? I
+can handle this chap."
+
+"Yes, yes," said Abraham; "it is a good thought."
+
+He accordingly returned to the house, brought out his treasure, and sat
+down by the side of it, watching the newcomer.
+
+The man with the sack walked up to the window and leaned the sack
+against the house. He then deliberately opened the window and peeped in,
+placing himself in very much the same position as had the one who had
+stooped over the barrel. Stepping swiftly up to the window, before the
+man could remove his head, the stranger had him gagged. In another
+minute he had been enfolded in the quilt, with a cord fast around him.
+
+"I groaned in yonder sinkhole," said the stranger, "but you shall both
+groan and sleep in there the rest of the night, if you sleep at all."
+With this he rolled the latest intruder into the old cistern and placed
+boards across it.
+
+"Uncle Abraham," said the stranger, "you take the money and I'll bring
+in the sack. Aunt Ruth, we have another of your honest thieves. He is
+out in the old cistern, thinking how he will not use your money. See
+what he has left you?"
+
+Removing the contents of the sack, they so filled the barrel that there
+was no room for the bag of money.
+
+"Young man, my dear young man," said Abraham, "there are no family ties
+between us, as far as I know, but I find myself drawn as closely to you
+as a father to his son. I could trust you with our lives, much less with
+our money. Keep watch over the bag of money while we take a good, solid
+nap."
+
+The old couple were soon fast asleep. About four o'clock Ruth awoke and
+said: "Abraham, the door is open."
+
+"So it is," said Abraham.
+
+"But--but--Ruth, where is the stranger?"
+
+"But--but--Abraham, where is the bag of money?"
+
+Sure enough, both stranger and money were gone.
+
+"I thought he was claiming kin a little too soon," said Ruth. "These
+folks who claim kin so soon are just like the folks who come to your
+house and tell you one lie about your neighbor in order to get you to
+tell a hundred. Then they will have a sufficient stock to supply the
+whole neighborhood. Is the fellow in the closet safe?"
+
+"I'll see."
+
+"How about the one in the cistern?"
+
+"Safe, too," said Abraham. "We will turn them over to the officers as
+early in the day as possible, and then set them on the trail of the
+stranger. Maybe he will have some of the money when caught. In the
+meantime, what shall we do to keep up our spirits until it is good and
+light?"
+
+"I never in my life," said Ruth, "felt more like hearing a prayer by
+Deacon Brindlebee and a sermon by Parson Prudence."
+
+"Why, look," said Abraham, "the rogue has left his saddle-bags. Let's
+see what is in them."
+
+He opened one side and drew out a copy of an old newspaper. He unfolded
+it, and there was a sermon on Patience by the identical Parson Prudence.
+
+"Ah," said Ruth, "the rogue has also left his hat. What's in it?"
+
+There was a folded paper between the hat and inner band. This she
+opened, and found that, among other things, it contained a prayer by
+Deacon Brindlebee.
+
+"Now we have them," said Ruth. "Let us take our minds off rogues and
+place them on the words of these holy men. It would be far better to
+have them here, but let us stammer through them as best we can."
+
+For nearly two hours Abraham and Ruth prayed the deacon's prayer and
+preached the parson's sermon. When six o'clock came they were still so
+carried away with the prayer and sermon that they were not conscious of
+the presence of two men who were standing near the door until they
+spoke.
+
+"What's up now, Abraham?" said one of them. "Have robbers been about?"
+
+"Pretty officers are you," said Abraham. "You should have been here last
+night. We have been entertaining robbers the whole night. Their aim was
+to rob us of our life's savings. One was good enough to entrap the
+others, so that you will have no trouble in securing them. Then, as soon
+as we were asleep, he took the bag of money and made off with it.
+Assemble the whole neighborhood, and I will turn two of them over to
+you."
+
+In a short time nearly every man, woman, and child in the neighborhood
+was there. The man in the closet was dragged out and laid in the middle
+of the floor. The one in the cistern was hauled up and laid by his side.
+Then Abraham told the people how he and Ruth had labored through forty
+years to save the money; how at last they intended to spend it for a
+parsonage and a bell for Parson Prudence's church, and how the rogues
+lying before them tried to steal it, and were prevented and captured by
+the other and greater thief, who succeeded in getting away with it.
+
+The people grew furious. Some wanted to hang them; others wanted to
+drown and bury them. One good deacon declared that it would be a great
+advantage for such characters to go to torment bundled up in that way,
+for, after they were in and their wraps were burned off, the devil
+would not know when they had come in nor what they had done.
+
+"Let us do nothing rashly," said Ruth. "These poor souls may never hear
+another prayer or sermon. Let some brother come forth and read Deacon
+Brindlebee's prayer and another read Parson Prudence's sermon."
+
+Two brethren came forth and conducted the services, after which the two
+men were untied and uncovered. To the surprise and consternation of all,
+there lay Parson Prudence and Deacon Brindlebee. The men were so chilled
+and cramped it was fully an hour before they could make themselves
+understood.
+
+In the meantime other scenes took place.
+
+"The very thought of a parson and a deacon turning thieves," said some,
+"is enough to give every sinner a license to miss heaven."
+
+"The parson and the deacon are innocent," said others. "This old
+scoundrel and his wife, and maybe someone else, have played a trick on
+them. Where did they get money enough to buy a parsonage and a bell?
+They have always lived from hand to mouth. During forty years they have
+never had enough to give a neighbor a meal, and were never known to give
+the smallest contribution to the church. Gag them and serve them as they
+have served our parson and deacon."
+
+The men seized Abraham, gagged him, and lowered him into the cistern.
+The women served Ruth in the same way and stored her away in the closet.
+
+At this point the storekeeper stood upon the edge of the barrel and
+said:
+
+"Parson Prudence and Deacon Brindlebee came to my place last night and
+bought two sacks full of groceries. They said that Abraham and his wife
+seemed to be in need, and that they were going to bring some things over
+here and slip them into the room while Abraham slept, so that the
+heretics might be surprised in the morning. Now, this is the way they
+were paid for their kindness. Ladies and gentlemen, think also of that
+prayer and sermon. Was that a mere accident? I think not. The whole
+affair was planned. They were not satisfied with sacking, quilting and
+cording them. They must stretch them out upon the floor like
+sure-enough, night-prowling, dishonest thieves; and, while in that
+position, pray to the deacon the prayer that he has been budding and
+blossoming into length and boisterousness for the last twenty years.
+Then think of the parson in the same position, listening to the sermon
+on 'Patience,' when you know, ladies and gentlemen, as well as I, that
+the parson, with a very little vocal effort and a slight movement of his
+hands, has put three generations to sleep with that identical sermon.
+Let us look for the groceries, and, if found, take vengeance."
+
+As the word "vengeance" was uttered the speaker's feet slipped into the
+barrel so far he had to be extracted. This showed the people where the
+groceries were. By this time the parson and deacon were on their feet
+and ready to state their side of the case.
+
+"Hearing that Abraham and his wife were in hard lines," said the parson,
+"the deacon and I, as has been said, bought two sacks of groceries from
+the gentleman who has just spoken, intending to come together and slip
+them into this room. By some means we were separated, so I came alone;
+and, finding the household asleep, I crawled into that window and put
+the contents of this meal sack into the barrel yonder. I was surprised
+to find in it a large bag of money. All this time Abraham and his wife
+were asleep in this bed. Just as I straightened up to go two strong arms
+caught me, gagged me, sacked, and closeted me. I think, ladies and
+gentlemen, I have said enough to prove my innocence, and that of Abraham
+and his wife. There has been a mistake, somewhere, or the man with the
+strong arms was playing a winning game for himself."
+
+The deacon came forth, and in a few words told his story, and ended by
+saying that the two strong arms that so lovingly handled the parson
+must have gagged, quilted, and imprisoned him.
+
+Abraham and Ruth were ungagged and brought before the people. Their
+statement of the case at certain points was just like the parson's. They
+told how the stranger had been admitted, how he treated the ashcake, how
+he claimed kin, and, lastly, how they had trusted him with the money,
+and been deceived.
+
+"Innocent! innocent!" shouted the people; "all here are innocent. The
+stranger alone is guilty. Is there nothing here by which he can be
+identified?"
+
+"Here," said Abraham, "are his saddlebags and hat, with a name on the
+former that is doubtless his."
+
+"He must be a strange thief indeed to leave behind him such telling
+witnesses as these," said the deacon.
+
+"Ah," said the parson, "I fear there is still more mystery in this
+matter."
+
+While the people were speechmaking and changing their opinions, the two
+officers who were the first to arrive and hear Abraham's story had been
+prowling over the farm. Just at this point they bore a man through the
+crowd and laid him on the floor where the deacon and parson had lain. He
+was gagged and corded after about the same fashion as they had been.
+
+"Ah," said one, "the stranger has been playing gagging-binding master
+to another weakling."
+
+"No, my man," said Abraham, "that is the stranger himself."
+
+At this the mob seized the bound man and yelled: "Confess, confess! You
+shall confess!" They pulled him in and out of the closet. They lowered
+him into the cistern and hauled him out again and again. At times a
+hundred voices were bawling: "Confess, confess! You shall confess!"
+During all this confusion the parson was the only person who noticed
+that the poor fellow was still gagged.
+
+"How can he confess," said the parson, "when he is gagged as daintily as
+a parson in a closet?"
+
+They removed the gag, but not the cords.
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "if you are as ready to give me justice as I am to
+confess the truth in this matter, my part of the mystery will soon be
+cleared up and I can enjoy myself here with my uncle and aunt."
+
+"Claiming kin again, Abraham," said Ruth. "Look out for your life next
+time."
+
+"Strangle the hypocrite," said one.
+
+"Give the impudent whelp a bath in the mill-pond," said another.
+
+"No," said the parson, "let him confess."
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "I am innocent. If I stole the bag of money, why
+should I leave my saddlebags behind, with my name on them, and one side
+of which is full of money?"
+
+The saddlebags were now examined by the crowd, and the stranger's
+statements found to be true.
+
+"Then," said he, "why should I encumber myself this way? In fact, how
+could I? It would be impossible."
+
+This somewhat appeased the crowd, until someone suggested that maybe he
+took the bag of money outside to hide it, intending to come back and get
+his own property; but as daylight overtook him he hired someone to gag
+and cord him in that way. On hearing this one man grabbed the prisoner
+by the foot and started to drag him to the cistern again. In so doing
+one boot was pulled off, out of which fell a picture.
+
+"Here, Abraham," said Ruth, handing him the picture, "this may be all
+you will ever get for your bag of money."
+
+Abraham took the picture and looked at it closely.
+
+"Now, gentlemen," said the stranger, "a few more points, and I will have
+this mystery clear."
+
+"You had better clear it quickly," said the crowd.
+
+"Don't be too hard," said the parson. "Let him confess."
+
+"Yes," said the stranger, "I am anxious to confess. This gentleman is
+really my uncle. He and my father have not met since I was born. Father
+and I agreed to pay him a visit. Since I have always been a funny chunk
+of humanity, father thought it might be well for me to come last night
+and twit uncle a little. He promised to arrive this morning. As I neared
+this house last night I saw two men standing close to the door, as
+though listening to what was going on inside. On seeing me they moved
+off at a brisk pace. Before knocking, I listened and heard Uncle Abraham
+and Aunt Ruth talking of their money, and what they intended to do with
+it the next day. Now, of course I thought the two men were listening to
+the same thing, and would be back in the night to rob them. After I had
+been admitted and had spoiled the ashcake--so that I could have a good
+excuse for giving them a nice little gift this morning for wronging
+them--and had gone to bed, it seemed I could see those two men trying to
+get into the house. Sleep fled my eyes; and, as I lay pondering what I
+would do in an emergency, I beheld the good parson here at the meal
+barrel. Thinking that he was one of the men I distrusted I slipped up
+behind him, and, after bundling him up in the fashion you beheld him, I
+tucked him into the closet. When the deacon came I treated him likewise,
+and rolled him into the cistern. The groceries they brought were put in
+the barrel. I could not account for this part of it, but now I see.
+Having disposed of the supposed robbers so nicely, Uncle Abraham put the
+bag of money in my keeping. Thinking I had nothing more to fear, I set
+the bag at my side and fell asleep. When I awoke a man was looking in
+the window through which the parson had climbed. As I heard no signs of
+another, I opened the door and grappled with him. While we were rolling
+over the ground a second man walked off with the money. I started to
+follow him, but my man clung to me so that I had to drag him a
+considerable distance before I could beat him off. In fact, he was so
+exhausted he did not rise for some time, to follow me. I caught up with
+the other fellow just as I neared the old well. He evidently thought I
+was his confederate. I said not a word, but lifted the bag from his
+shoulder and dropped it into the well. Seeing his mistake, he struck me
+a terrible blow that felled me to the ground. When I came to myself I
+was bound and gagged, just as these officers found me."
+
+The crowd gazed at one another in unbelief, but decided, nevertheless,
+after some parley to proceed to the well to investigate the truth of the
+strange story the prisoner had to tell. Arrived there, a man was lowered
+into the well, and soon gave the signal to be drawn out, with the bag
+of money. Some of the crowd were still disposed to doubt the innocence
+of their captive. They claimed that he was one of the band, that the bag
+of money fell into the well by accident, and that he was beaten, bound,
+and gagged because he was too mean to go along with the others.
+
+"In short," said one, "they left you here for an outraged people to dull
+their vengeance upon. Let every lover of justice help to string him up."
+
+"Hold! hold," said Abraham. "This picture has a story to tell. There are
+two likenesses on here. One is that of a brother that I have not seen
+for thirty years, and the other is of the stranger here. Is this not
+sufficient evidence with what you have already heard? I
+think--guess--believe--that this is enough for---- Well, gentlemen,
+don't you think this is enough for me?"
+
+"Yes," said a low-browed son of passion who was trying to put a noose
+around the stranger's neck, "it is enough to make this fit decently."
+
+"Let the man have a chance to confess," cried out the parson and the
+deacon jointly.
+
+"Let me have a chance to collar his neck with this noose," said the
+low-browed son of passion.
+
+Then followed a struggle, in which the parson and the deacon seized the
+noose on either side of the fellow's neck, and kept it from being
+tightened. The struggle grew in intensity, so much so that none of the
+excited throng noticed a dignified old gentleman dismount and run up to
+the crowd. Abraham, standing to one side in the confusion, noted the old
+man's approach, gazed at him, and at once clasped him around the neck
+and cried: "My brother! my brother!"
+
+Disengaging himself, and upon seeing the young man in his sorry plight,
+the old gentleman hurried forward crying: "My son! my son!"
+
+The young man hearing the cry in the midst of the melee looked up and
+gasped, "My father! my father!"
+
+By this time Abraham and the young man's father forced their way to the
+young man's side. The people fell back and scattered in all directions,
+leaving the young man almost exhausted. His bonds were at once cut, and
+he was put upon his feet and refreshed.
+
+The young man was soon able to smile.
+
+His Uncle Abraham and Aunt Ruth kissed him and commended his heroism.
+
+Sometime later in the day the two real culprits were apprehended, and
+confessed their guilt, stating that they had overheard part of Abraham's
+conversation regarding the money when the young man's approach had led
+them to await a better hour. Thus were Abraham and Ruth vindicated;
+thus, too, were all doubts as to the young man's story laid at rest.
+Parson Prudence got the bag of money with which to buy the parsonage
+and bell, and Deacon Brindlebee was handsomely rewarded for his part in
+the comedy.
+
+Ashcakes were never thought of again in that house, for Abraham's
+brother and nephew were rich, and they all lived as one family. The
+parsonage was erected. The bell was hung; and, as Abraham prophesied,
+the bell spread their fame above and the women who visited the parson's
+wife spread it below.
+
+
+
+
+THE JACKAL AND THE LION[1]
+
+AN AFRICAN FOLK-LORE TALE
+
+
+The Jackal and the Lion were hunting in the jungle. "Brother Lion," said
+the Jackal, "the young elephant we seek is a good distance away. Well,
+it is not so far away either, but you see it will run around and around
+and in and out, and that will make the distance long. I see that you
+have a sore foot, and so long a journey might cost you your life. It
+would be a pity to lose your great head and pretty voice."
+
+"It would, indeed," said the Lion. "I am glad to find someone who
+understands my worth."
+
+"You see, Brother Lion," said the Jackal, "if I should get lost or
+killed the world would not miss me, but you, Brother Lion--you----!"
+
+"Yes, Brother Jackal," broke in the Lion, "my place could not be filled;
+but do not take my greatness too seriously. You are worth a little, and
+that little should be saved."
+
+"Brother Lion," continued the Jackal, "I would gladly give my whole
+self for your pleasure. You lie down here in the shade, keep cool and
+think great thoughts, while I take your spear and run down and kill the
+elephant that you have long desired to eat. When I have done so I will
+return and take you to it!"
+
+"Very good," said the Lion. "You are kind and thoughtful. Take my spear
+and best wishes and be off. I can almost taste the feast now."
+
+The Jackal took the spear, and in a short time had killed the elephant
+and covered the body with leaves. It then ran to another road, cut its
+finger and let the blood drip here and there for a great distance. Then
+it returned to the Lion and said: "Brother Lion, I almost lost my life
+in killing the elephant. Just go through yonder forest until you come to
+the straight road. By the elephant's blood you can trace it to the spot
+where it fell. As soon as I rest I'll be with you, I charge you now that
+to taste the meat before I come will mean death to you. This is a new
+law of the jungle."
+
+The Lion went in search of the bloody path, and the Jackal returned to
+the elephant and began to eat. Now it happened that the Lion hurt his
+foot and, while binding it up, saw the Jackal eating and looking around.
+
+When the Lion came up to the Jackal he said: "You little rascal, I have
+a notion to eat you for deceiving me."
+
+"Be patient, Brother Lion; I am doing you a favor. Unless a Jackal eats
+of a young elephant first, its meat will kill a Lion. This is a new law
+of the jungle, and I am still in love with your great head and pretty
+voice. You remember I gave you a charge to this end."
+
+"Yes," said the Lion, "I remember, and I thank you for saving my head
+and voice; but since you have tested the meat, what keeps me from eating
+my fill?"
+
+"Just another new law of the jungle," said the Jackal. "This new law
+says that such meat must be put upon a high stone tower where the sun's
+rays may strike it. Then all may eat it unharmed."
+
+"Oh, Brother Jackal," said the Lion, "how can I ever pay you for saving
+my head and voice?"
+
+"In this way," replied the Jackal. "According to the law, my wife and
+children must be masons upon the wall, and you and yours must hand up
+the stones; and you see there are plenty of them about here. Of course,
+I remain on the ground to direct. I have told my wife and children, and
+they are coming. You go and bring yours."
+
+"That suits me quite well," said the Lion. "I'll be back with mine in a
+short while."
+
+When the Lion and his family had returned, the Jackal and his family
+had eaten half of the elephant and were dancing.
+
+"You little rascal!" roared the Lion, "have you deceived me again?"
+
+"Not a bit of it," replied the Jackal. "See that little bird lying dead
+there? That is the messenger of the new laws. By accident I killed it.
+The new law requires that the one who kills such a bird, and his family,
+must eat half the meat present as a punishment; and such a punishment as
+it has been! But for this new dance my wife invented we should all be
+dead. This means that you would be dead, too. The life of the Jackal in
+such a case goes into the bird. It becomes ten times as powerful as a
+Lion and kills everyone it meets. See?"
+
+"I do," replied the Lion, "and thanks again for my head and voice. Let
+me remind you, Brother Jackal, that my wife and family are not likely to
+die at present from over-eating."
+
+"Let me remind you, Brother Lion, that one more speech like that from
+you will put life into that bird, and you will never eat another
+dinner."
+
+"Thanks, Brother Jackal, for your wisdom and kindness. Let's build the
+tower."
+
+In a short time the tower was erected.
+
+"How are we to get the meat up?" asked the Lion.
+
+"Oh," said the Jackal, "my wife, who invented the dance, has invented a
+rope to pull the meat up with."
+
+"I am glad to hear that, Brother Jackal," said the Lion, "for my wife,
+who is rather dull, may learn many things from yours."
+
+"Brother Lion," said the Jackal, "when a Lion passes a compliment like
+that upon a Jackal's wife he had better roar it far and wide, or he will
+be counted a flatterer, and flattery puts life into that little bird."
+
+The Lion roared the compliment until every beast in the jungle heard it.
+The Jackal's wife and children let down the rope and pulled the meat up.
+
+"Brother Lion, there is one precaution we must take. That little bird
+lying there must never be allowed to come back to life, and there is but
+one way to do it."
+
+"Brother Jackal, pray what is that?"
+
+"Pick up that rock lying there by the bird. When my wife has pulled me
+to the top of the tower, throw it to me. If I catch it, the bird is dead
+forever. We will then pull you and your family up, and what a feasting
+there will be!"
+
+"My dear Brother Jackal," roared the Lion, "you are all wisdom. Now you
+are up, and I am ready with the rock. Shall I throw it?"
+
+"My dear Brother Lion," said the Jackal, "I am so high up I fear I shall
+not be able to catch it. There is one way to keep me from missing it.
+Put your wife right under my hands as I hold them out."
+
+"She is there," called the Lion. "Now catch the rock." The Lion threw up
+the rock. The Jackal withdrew his hands, and it came back, striking the
+Lion's wife and almost killing her.
+
+"You've killed Ma! you've killed Ma!" cried all the little Lions, and
+scampered off into the forest.
+
+"That was a terrible mistake, Brother Lion," said the Jackal. "It was
+all your fault. You didn't ask me whether or not I was ready. That bird
+is coming to life! I feel it. Unless I can get you up here in five
+minutes it will be on wing and right after you. Now throw up the rock.
+That's right. I have it. Good for you. Here, wife, heat this rock and
+hand it back to me when I ask for it. You understand?"
+
+"Yes, Mrs. Jackal," called the Lion, "hand your husband the rock when he
+asks for it, for that is indeed a precious rock."
+
+The Jackal let down the rope, telling the Lion to tie it tightly around
+his body below the forearms. When this was done the Jackal began to pull
+the Lion up.
+
+"Brother Lion," called the Jackal, "that little bird down there is
+moving."
+
+"Sister Jackal," cried the Lion, "have you the rock?"
+
+By this time the Jackal's wife was holding the rock with a pair of
+tongs, for it was very hot.
+
+"That's right," shouted the Lion, "hold that rock carefully."
+
+"That terrible bird!" mourned the Jackal.
+
+"Ha, ha!" said the Jackal's wife, "I'll drop this hot rock into your
+mouth, and then how you'll kick and claw the air!"
+
+She tried to drop the rock, but the tongs would not open. She then tried
+to drop both tongs and rock, but could not. The tongs soon began to burn
+her hands. In trying to throw them from her, she fell from the tower and
+killed herself.
+
+The Jackal dropped the rope and so freed the Lion. The tower trembled
+and fell.
+
+The little bird that the Jackal thought dead was the cause of the
+change. It was the spirit of the jungle and believed in fair play. It
+sang a sad song while the wife of the Jackal was being buried. It then
+sang joyously while the Lion and his wife and children, who had come
+back, ate the rest of the meat.
+
+The Jackal was badly hurt and crippled by falling with the tower, yet he
+had to wait on the Lion and his family while they were feasting. And
+ever afterwards the Jackal was an outcast among animals, despised by all
+because of his evil and deceitful spirit.
+
+FOOTNOTE:
+
+[1] This story was told to me by a native African who was lecturing in
+this country.
+
+
+
+
+THE KING'S SHOES
+
+
+When King Mesina died his twin sons, Savo and Savoda, became joint heirs
+to the throne. This was according to the King's wishes. He thought,
+however, that as Savo was the older and meaner he might at some time rob
+his brother of his part in the kingdom. So he had placed in his will a
+clause to the effect that should this happen Savoda was to be the sole
+heir. Ere the people had ceased mourning for the King, Savo began to
+persecute Savoda. It mattered not what Savo did Savoda always had an
+excuse for him. In fact, he thought his brother angelic; and, hence,
+could do no wrong.
+
+As the time for the coronation approached Savo more and more ignored and
+persecuted Savoda. At last he said: "Savoda, my servant, sit down in the
+corner and be as little as you really are while I, your king, conduct
+matters." Savoda obeyed with a smile upon his face, thinking that all
+things work together for good to him who is the son of a king and has an
+earthly angel for a brother.
+
+Savo looked after the coronation in every part. He made all kinds of
+demands upon his people, and they gladly responded. He sent his leading
+captain to visit distant lands and bring back luxuries for the occasion.
+Everything progressed nicely until the captain returned with, as his
+sole cargo, an ugly dwarf.
+
+This threw Savo into a rage. He had the captain seized, beaten and
+thrown into prison. When the dwarf was brought before him, he said:
+"Begone, human reptile! Go, dwell in the woods with your kinsmen."
+
+"My body is small and weak, but by the power of wit shall I be
+remembered in the affairs of this kingdom," said the dwarf.
+
+Savoda was still sitting in the corner, trying to smile, and to be small
+at the same time.
+
+"You, sir," said Savo, pointing at Savoda, "are as impudent as this
+dwarf. Your stillness means plotting, and your smile means ridicule. You
+think that by your wit too you shall be remembered in the affairs of the
+kingdom? I'll see to that. My wisdom is a seine that holds fast to the
+big fish and crushes the minnows as they slip through. Minnow, sniff
+your fate. Well, you may have wit enough to dish out soup. Soldiers, to
+the woods with this abominable dwarf, and to the soup-house with this
+simpleton who dreams of being king."
+
+After Savo had recovered from what he considered a very righteous
+indignation he sent for his trusty porter.
+
+"Well, Porter," said he, "is everything ready for the coronation?"
+
+"Everything is ready, my King, save your shoes; and to-morrow is the
+event. The dwarf you sent to the woods took them with him."
+
+"Go quickly and have the same shoemaker turn your king out another pair
+on time."
+
+"My king, there is no relief in that; for he went with the dwarf, and
+neither can be found."
+
+"By the clearness of my conscience, is there not one other in all my
+vast domain that can so fit my feet that my wrath shall not be called
+upon to fit him?"
+
+"There was one this morning, my King."
+
+"Is he not now?"
+
+"He is, my King."
+
+"What is he doing?"
+
+"He is shoeing his soul."
+
+"Shoeing his soul? What mean you?"
+
+"A shoe is used to cover something that very much needs to be covered.
+Is it not, my King?"
+
+"It is."
+
+"As you know, this shoemaker was skilled at making shoes, and especially
+skilled in stealing leather, my King. He believed that the ease with
+which a king treads upon his handiwork will blot out the theft in
+procuring the leather. The story runs that this morning he went to the
+soup-house to get his usual bowl of soup. A stranger waited upon him. As
+he put the bowl to his lips the soup turned clear as water, and in it
+appeared two pictures. The first was the likeness of the stranger before
+him, and on his breast was the name, 'King Savoda.' The second
+represented himself standing before a great white throne. His soul was
+uncovered, and over it were written the names of the ones from whom he
+had stolen leather. His soul was the shape of a boot; and there he stood
+trying to make a shoe to cover it from the sight of Him who sat upon the
+throne as the Great Judge. The longer he looked the more fearful became
+the second. In a fit of despair he gulped down the soup so fast that it
+strangled him, and he fell dead at the counter. So, my King, is he not
+shoeing his soul? My King, the people say that Savoda, who was a
+stranger to the shoemaker, knew not what he saw in the bowl. He simply
+thought he was weak from overwork and, in keeping with his good nature,
+he straightway gave him a decent burial."
+
+"Ha, ha! The dreams of a porter frighten not his king. If there be no
+real workman about, find me a cobbler."
+
+"A cobbler there is at the turn of the square, but, O my King, his
+failure at making you shoes will be equaled only by your success in
+cutting off his head."
+
+"Porter, you are wide-awake when you speak of cutting off heads. Take
+this leather and my measure to the cobbler. Remind him that to-morrow is
+the coronation, and that no shoes for the King means no head for the
+cobbler."
+
+The porter departed, and the cobbler soon received the leather and the
+measure and the message and, despite the gloom of the latter, he worked
+bravely on until he had completed his task. Being very tired, he fell
+asleep. When he awoke he found that the cat had turned the candle over
+on one of the shoes, and, as a result, the upper was burned completely
+out. He had received just leather enough to make the shoes, and there
+was no more of that kind to be had. The hour of the coronation was near
+at hand. What was he to do? Just then the porter came in. Without saying
+a word he put the shoes under his arm and carried them to the king. As
+soon as the king saw them he ordered the cobbler's head to be taken off.
+
+The cobbler had hardly finished kissing his wife and children when the
+king's soldiers seized him and began dragging him through the streets
+toward the block. A terrible voice then sounded forth. It was more like
+thunder than that of a human being's. The soldiers knew it was the
+voice of the great giant Lubercal; so they left the cobbler and hastened
+to save themselves. After giving the cobbler something to refresh him,
+the giant put him in one of his coat pockets and carried him off to his
+mountain home. The cobbler soon found there were two others in the
+pocket with him.
+
+"Ah," said they, "we are glad you are in here."
+
+"Ah," said the cobbler, "you are no gladder than I. They were about to
+cut my head off out there. How relieved I feel!"
+
+"On the life of us," said they, "we don't see where the relief comes in.
+As we see it, you have simply exchanged a beheading for an eating. So
+certain were we to be eaten by the giant and his wife for supper that we
+had already said our prayers. As you are so big and tender, it may be
+the giant will feast upon you to-night and leave us for breakfast,
+giving us a chance to escape in the darkness. We are told that he always
+refreshes the one he is going to eat first. So, you see we are glad you
+are in here."
+
+By this time the giant had reached his home. He took all three out, and
+said to his wife: "Here they all are. Prepare the cobbler first. The
+other two will keep."
+
+We must now leave the cobbler and his friends to their fate with the
+giant and his wife, and return to the coronation at the palace. The
+palace is thronged with noblemen, and Savo is pacing up and down
+barefooted and bareheaded. We know why he is barefooted; but why is he
+bareheaded? He had the crown placed upon the throne instead of on his
+head. He did this he said in order to start a new custom; but it was
+simply to hide, if possible, the mishap with the shoe.
+
+The king and his noblemen soon sat down to supper. The order was, eat a
+while and boast a while. To make the events of the supper clear we must
+know something that took place at the gate just before the coronation.
+
+The porter had served under the old King Mesina, and had kept fairly
+straight. Being a wise man, he saw that Savo was weak and his kingdom
+would soon fall, so he set about making himself whole. As soon as Savo
+cast aside the shoes because of the burnt one, he saw the possibilities
+of a fortune in the good one. His business that night was to sit at the
+palace gate and admit the guests. To every simple looking nobleman that
+passed he would hold up the good shoe and say: "How much am I offered
+for a shoe that is so fine the king will not wear it?"
+
+At last there came a nobleman whose bluntness equaled the porter's wit.
+He took the shoe, and left the porter a bag of gold.
+
+As has been said, the order at the supper was eat a while and boast a
+while.
+
+Nobleman after nobleman told of some precious keepsake he had, and its
+history. At last they called on the nobleman with the shoe. He was so
+slow to respond that he was roundly hissed by the guests, as having
+nothing worthy the attention of a king. This was too much for nobility
+at a feast. He first told a strange story of how he came into possession
+of the shoe. Then he snatched it from his pocket so quickly that it
+dropped from his hand and fell plump into the king's dish of soup.
+
+"Soldiers of the king," said Savo, "cast the intruder into prison, and
+see that his head comes off bright and early to-morrow morning."
+
+Thus ended the coronation. The guests departed, and Savo retired for the
+night. Just after the nobleman was placed in prison the giant Lubercal
+passed the palace gate and saw the porter asleep beside his bag of gold.
+Knowing what had happened, he took the porter and the bag of gold around
+to the prison. There was a huge chimney leading down into the cell where
+the nobleman was. The giant reached down and brought out the nobleman
+and put the porter in his place. The nobleman and his bag of gold were
+carried by the giant to his mountain home.
+
+In the meantime what had become of the cobbler and his two friends?
+
+They were still at the home of the giant, safe and sound, with no fear
+of being eaten. What had the giant meant by telling his wife to prepare
+the cobbler first? Simply that he had heard the conversation that passed
+among the three men in his pockets as he went home, and as he was of a
+rather grim but jovial nature he made pretence of devouring his
+captives. Of these three we know of the cobbler, but who were the two
+friends? One was the captain that Savo had put in prison for bringing
+the dwarf. The other was Savoda.
+
+The giant Lubercal thought that Savo might make away with them during
+the coronation, so he protected them in this way.
+
+
+Early the next morning Savo sent word to the jailer to dispatch the man
+in the cell and bring the head to him. It was done; but, when the head
+was brought, Savo almost fell from his throne.
+
+"My porter! my porter!" said Savo, "you have been dealt with foully. How
+dare you, Jailer, to turn the nobleman out and put my porter in his
+place? Soldiers of the king, seize the deceiver, and off with his head."
+
+Before the soldiers could carry out the order the giant Lubercal
+appeared before the palace and sent his voice through the halls.
+
+"Come, Savo," said he, "it is time to reckon."
+
+The giant first took from his pocket the cobbler, who was red-eyed and
+sneezing, and bidding him no longer to fear King Savo, gave him his
+liberty. When the cobbler was set free he secured the burnt shoe, that
+it might remind him never again to fall asleep over his work, and
+hastened to his family.
+
+Lubercal then followed this by freeing the nobleman, with a similar
+injunction. When the nobleman was given his liberty, he distributed the
+bag of gold among the poor, and, after awaiting Savoda's coronation,
+departed to his own estates.
+
+Then the giant Lubercal now, in keeping with King Mesina's will, put
+Savoda upon the throne, and made Savo gate-keeper.
+
+A good giant was Lubercal? Well, he was not so good, after all, as one
+other act will show. Even giants must live by some law.
+
+The law by which Lubercal was controlled allowed him to be king if he
+could steal the whole nation at once. To do this all the people must be
+gathered into one house. Lubercal's aim was to deceive the people into
+building a house large enough to hold them all, and then proclaim
+himself king.
+
+He suggested to Savoda that he force his people to erect such a house,
+so that the whole nation might come together and celebrate his
+(Savoda's) accession to the throne. Savoda did so. After much time and
+labor, the house was ready. The morning of the fatal day arrived--the
+day on which Lubercal intended to put into execution his plan of
+stealing the throne and Savoda's people. Lubercal stood upon the
+mountain and sent his voice ringing over the country. Savoda and the
+people thought this a good omen, and expected the giant to come down and
+rejoice with them. While King Savoda was arranging his crown, in walked
+the dwarf.
+
+"Good morning, my King," said he. "I have come to rescue you and your
+people this day from the hands of the designing Lubercal." Noting
+Savoda's look of suspicion and incredulity the dwarf continued: "I see,
+my King, that you have little faith in my remark. Go you now to the
+temple, and ere the day is done you shall see your own salvation."
+
+King Savoda and his people, after further insistence, though still not
+convinced, went to the temple, while the dwarf hastened to encounter the
+giant.
+
+
+Again we must go back, in order to make clear events soon to be
+narrated.
+
+Savo had been too silly to remain king, yet he was wise enough to see
+the force that removed him. He therefore set about finding the source of
+Lubercal's strength. While Lubercal was away he went up into the
+mountain and hid himself where he could see, but could not be seen.
+Lubercal soon came, and straightway tried to pull up a large tree by the
+roots. At first he failed to move it. He then went to a large cask
+containing fluid of some kind, and smelled it. At the next trial he
+pulled the tree halfway up. He went back to the cask and smelled again.
+Then he walked to the tree and with a slight effort snatched it from the
+ground and tossed it down the mountain.
+
+"Ah," said Savo, "I have the secret of your strength. It is in that
+fluid."
+
+Then Lubercal sat down, and began to talk to himself of how his strength
+lay in smelling the fluid in the cask, and how his length of days
+depended upon the running of the old-fashioned clock that hung beside a
+tree.
+
+That night, as the giant slept, Savo slipped to the cask and examined
+it. He found it had two chambers, and that the fluid was in the lower
+one. He climbed into the upper chamber, thinking he might find some way
+of letting the fluid out. He found none, and to his surprise smelling
+the fluid made him weak instead of strong. He soon became so weak he
+could not get out; so there he stayed until morning. At daybreak he
+first heard the giant's voice ringing over the country. He next heard
+the shouts of King Savoda and his people as they were hurrying to the
+great temple, and lastly, the small clear voice of the dwarf piping out
+a challenge to Lubercal.
+
+"Giant Lubercal, I have come to thwart your designs upon King Savoda and
+his people. Strength, I suppose will be your weapon; but wit shall be
+mine. The war is on. Here's at you."
+
+"A flea in a kettle of hot water, my little man, is not more at a
+disadvantage than you are with me," said Lubercal; "but if you want a
+quick, easy death, come on."
+
+At this the dwarf scratched the giant's great toe, but did not even make
+it bleed.
+
+"For that, sir," said the giant, "you shall serve to whet my appetite
+for breakfast."
+
+Now, according to an ancient custom, the giant could not eat a human
+being without first closing his eyes and saying a long blessing. While
+he was thus engaged, the dwarf turned himself into a fierce bird and
+circled above the giant's head. Every now and then he would strike the
+giant a stinging blow. After a hard struggle the giant succeeded in
+catching him. He held him tightly in his great hand; but in a flash the
+dwarf turned to a flea. The giant was not well proportioned. His body
+was large, with a deep crease between the shoulders, and his arms were
+so short they could not reach it.
+
+The dwarf found the crease and began to bite. The giant soon became
+frantic. He ran to the tree; and, in trying to kill the dwarf, he broke
+the old-fashioned clock upon the running of which depended the length of
+his days.
+
+He lay upon his back and rolled and tumbled, and then with marvelous
+force he drew up his limbs and straightened them out. One of his feet
+struck the cask, and fluid and Savo were dashed down the steep
+mountain-side. The once mighty Lubercal soon became so weak that the
+dwarf assumed his original form, tied a rope around his neck, and led
+him into the temple where King Savoda and his people were celebrating.
+At the dwarfs command Lubercal told the assembled multitude of his
+designs against them, and begged that he be allowed to return to his
+mountain home and breathe out his last as his forefathers had done. He
+returned, and soon a terrible wail told the people he was no more.
+
+"Honor to whom honor is due," said King Savoda. "Let us honor the dwarf
+who has saved our whole nation. Truly, the power of his wit shall be
+felt in the affairs of this people."
+
+"My great and good King," said the dwarf, "I am honored in being in your
+midst, and happy in seeing you happy. My life work is ended and I am
+ready to go."
+
+As the autumn leaf falls withered to the ground, so the dwarf fell dead
+at the king's feet.
+
+"My people," said King Savoda, "let us spend the rest of the day
+mourning for the dwarf and honoring his memory. How shall we best do
+this?"
+
+"My King," said an aged man, "I have a suggestion."
+
+"What have you done that you should be allowed to even make a suggestion
+concerning so great a person as the dwarf," said the King.
+
+"My good and wise King, look closely and you will see that I am the
+captain who was imprisoned for bringing the dwarf into this kingdom."
+
+The King looked, and seeing the man had spoken truthfully, told him to
+draw near.
+
+"You shall no longer be the captain of a ship, but the first of my wise
+men. We will follow your suggestion. Let us have it."
+
+"My King," said the captain, "yonder mountain-top upon which the giant
+Lubercal now lies dead is a solid rock. I suggest that you send your
+best workmen in stone up there. As they look upon the giant, let them
+shape out of the rock his exact image with the arms extended. Let them
+lay a marble slab across the arms, and upon this place the image of the
+dwarf."
+
+The King was so impressed with the suggestion that he sent hundreds of
+his best workmen to carry it out. A signal told when they had finished
+the work. Then the King, followed by the people bearing the body of the
+dwarf, ascended the mountain. He was much pleased with the images, and
+ordered that the bodies of the giant and the dwarf be buried in the
+solid rock side by side.
+
+As he started to leave he heard some one say:
+
+"My brother, Savoda, I am nigh unto death. Hear me ere I depart."
+
+The King turned and, seeing it was his brother Savo, clasped him in his
+arms, and placed a kiss upon his cheek. Savo in a few words begged his
+brother to forgive him for what he had done, told him of his adventure
+in the cask and how it ended. He then kissed his brother again and
+again, and expired. Savoda was so overcome that he had to be borne to
+his palace. Knowing their King's feelings in the matter, the workmen
+made an exact image of Savo, and placed it beside that of Lubercal,
+after which his body was buried close to the others. At the command of
+the king a huge stone was placed near the statues to remind the king and
+people of their duty.
+
+Ever after that people would take their children to the mountain top and
+tell them the story of the king's shoes and the lessons to be learned
+from it.
+
+King Savoda lived a long and useful life. His people loved him for his
+wisdom and goodness. He left twin sons to succeed him. They were so
+small that both sat in the same chair. They always agreed, and under
+them the kingdom flourished. They were so much like their father that
+the people called them the double king with one soul, borrowed from
+their father.
+
+
+
+
+HOW MR. RABBIT SECURES A PRETTY WIFE AND RICH FATHER-IN-LAW
+
+
+Mr. Rabbit was hard to please in love affairs. Those upon whom his eyes
+fell were either too ugly or too poor, and in some cases both. At last
+he concluded that the greatest failure in the world is courting that
+does not end in a wedding.
+
+He arose early one morning and sat down by the roadside to think over
+the different flowers along the path of love that had proven thorns to
+his soul. As he sat there, taking them up and dismissing one by one,
+with a frown on his face and a bachelor-like sourness in his soul, he
+chanced to see a beautiful maiden tripping over the meadows. As soon as
+he saw that she was pretty, he believed he loved her, as soon as he
+learned that her father was rich, he knew it.
+
+"O soul, my poor wounded soul! a smile from yon creature of grace and
+beauty would cure you. Let us haste and secure the remedy. I can well
+afford to exchange a task like this for the smiles of so pretty a wife
+and her father's pocket-book."
+
+Mr. Rabbit knew his only stock in trade was wit, so he sharpened this
+and visited the girl's father. He walked up to the old gentleman and
+said:
+
+"Good morning, sir. My name is Mr. Rabbit. I have come to be your
+son-in-law, and your daughter has my letter of introduction."
+
+The old gentleman was so surprised at Mr. Rabbit's words he did not call
+his daughter to test their truthfulness. He admired his visitor's
+boldness and readiness of speech and, after talking awhile, invited him
+out to breakfast. Having learned the girl's name during the
+conversation, Rabbit spoke to her on coming out, and also took her by
+the hand. Now, he carried in his hand a stamp bearing the words "I
+propose."
+
+After breakfast the old gentleman asked his daughter if she had Mr.
+Rabbit's letter of introduction, and she answered by holding up her
+hand. Then he asked her if she had ever met him before, and she said she
+had not. Without further ado he seized Rabbit by the throat and said:
+
+"My dear child, this whole thing has been forced upon you. Now, how
+shall I punish the impudent young whelp?"
+
+"Why, father," said she in her sweetest tones, "let both of us punish
+him by making him your son-in-law."
+
+Seeing that he could not withstand the combined forces of Cupid, his
+only daughter, and a wily lover, the old gentleman said: "Well, Mr.
+Rabbit, you may have the girl on the condition that you go down to the
+great frog settlement and prove that you are master of all the frogs
+there. This must be done by to-morrow at twelve o'clock."
+
+"It shall be done," said Mr. Rabbit.
+
+He dressed himself as strangely as possible, and, taking a looking-glass
+in his hand, went down to the frog settlement. He stood by the branch
+and waved the glass until the frogs gathered around him.
+
+"This is not the place," said he. "This is not the place."
+
+"Yes, it is," said an old frog. "It is the very place that has been here
+all the time."
+
+Mr. Rabbit looked again and said: "It is the place, sure enough."
+
+"Didn't I tell you so?" said the old frog. "If this place had moved, we
+would have known it."
+
+This served to open the conversation. While talking, Rabbit held the
+glass so the frogs could see themselves. He told them it was a
+soul-drawing machine, and that by looking into it the soul would come
+out of the body and go behind the glass.
+
+"Do you know," said Rabbit, "why Mr. Snake swallows so many of you? It
+is simply to get your souls. As the soul is in the body, he must
+swallow the body, also. Let him see that the soul is out of the body,
+and he will no longer bother the body, but go after the soul. If the
+soul is behind the glass, he can't get it. So you see, gentlemen, every
+frog should have a glass. All he has to do is to carry the glass with
+him, and, when Mr. Snake comes, just hold it up so as to see himself.
+Mr. Snake, seeing the soul out of his reach, will scamper off."
+
+All agreed with Rabbit, but wanted to know where glasses sufficient for
+all could be had.
+
+"Ah," said Rabbit, "that is my business here. I have come to build a
+factory for making them. All you have to do is to turn the wheel I will
+make. This wheel will turn the mill and out will come the glasses. There
+will be no charges."
+
+The frogs agreed to turn the wheel as long as needed. Then Rabbit built
+a watermill for grinding wheat and corn, and put the wheel above the
+water. The frogs knew no better.
+
+"In order to turn the wheel," said Mr. Rabbit, "you frogs must be
+divided into as many bands as there are paddles to the wheel. The first
+band must jump upon a paddle and force it down, then jump into the water
+and swim to shore ready for the next turn. Each band must do so in turn,
+and the wheel will go round. There are several things you must do. You
+must not be seen until I give the signal. Then you must come, start the
+wheel, and keep it going until I tell you to stop. At the second signal
+you must bellow as loudly as you can, or your souls will be so long in
+getting behind the glass that Mr. Snake will catch them. On the third
+signal you must dance as you come around, or the glass will be easily
+broken."
+
+All agreed, and said there should not be a single hitch in the
+programme.
+
+Then Rabbit sent for his father-in-law to come, and bring his wheat with
+him. He did so; but laughed at Rabbit's mill-wheel.
+
+"The wheat will be ground," said Rabbit, approaching the water and
+giving the signal agreed upon with the frogs.
+
+At the first signal the frogs came by hundreds and sent the wheel over
+and over again in great haste. At the second signal they began to
+bellow; and, at the third, to dance. This procedure was continued, and
+in a short time the wheat was all ground.
+
+"Now," said Mr. Rabbit, "I am not a member of the family as yet, but see
+what a means of income I am. How will it be further on? By the way, my
+father-in-law-to-be, how do you like the wedding-march my slaves are
+playing for me?"
+
+"Very well, my son Rabbit, very well," said the old gentleman. "Come,
+let us have the ceremony." They then proceeded to the magistrate, when
+Mr. Rabbit and the young lady were duly wedded.
+
+What became of the mill? Mr. Rabbit cared nothing for a cheap affair
+like that when he had succeeded in securing a pretty wife and rich
+father-in-law.
+
+What about the frogs?
+
+There is no telling how long they turned the wheel, bellowed, and
+danced; or how they got the glasses from between the millstones.
+
+
+
+
+THE LITTLE BOY AND MISTER DARK
+
+
+My name is Little Boy, an' I'se gwine ter tell you er story 'bout myself
+an' Mister Dark. Once 'twuz night, an' my Mammy an' my Daddy an' my dawg
+an' my cat an' myself wuz in de big cabin-room. My Daddy, he dun skinned
+de rabbit fer de breakfust time, an' my Mammy, she dun stirred up de
+hoecakes fer ter go 'long wid de rabbit, an' I dun make up my mind ter
+sleep till I gits er appertite fer bofe de cakes an' de rabbit.
+Meanwhile my cat, she says: "Meaw, meaw!" an' my dawg's tail says: "I
+whop, whop on de floor."
+
+Atter while my Mammy, she snored an' my Daddy, he snored, an' de cat
+meawed, an' de dawg's tail whopped on de floor, an' I got so skeered I
+could hardly keep comp'ny wid my own bref.
+
+Den sump'in' happened. Mister Wind, he broke down de door an' roared in
+an' licked up de candle light. Den I shet my eyes an' listened fer my
+cat, but didn't heah no meaw. Mister Rain, he spattered down de chimbly
+an' swallowed up de fire. Den I put my hands over my face an' listened
+fer my dawg, but didn't heah no tail flopping on de floor. Atter bein'
+skeered er long time I spunked up an' opened my eyes, an' dere wuz
+Mister Dark es big es de cabin-room.
+
+Atter er nudder while I spunked up erg'in an' says I: "Mister Dark, whar
+does you live?"
+
+Mister Dark says: "I lives everywhar when de sun's in bed." Den I asks
+him a r'al spunky question: "Mister Dark, how big is you?"
+
+Mister Dark says: "I'se es big es de whole world when de sun's kivered
+up in bed."
+
+Den I says: "Dis cabin-room's too little fer you. Jes leave it fer us."
+
+Mister Dark, he says: "I'se gwine ter stay heah an' have sum fun outer
+you. Ef you's skeered, Little Boy, jes' call on yo' Daddy's snore an'
+yo' Mammy's dreams, an' yo' cat's meaw an' yo' little dawg's floppin'
+tail. You must read me a story. Heah's er book. Heah's specticle-glasses
+fer de dark. Now read an' let de fun begin."
+
+I shakes my head, an' den I seemed jes' like er big piece o' gumbo. I
+wuz tall an' den short, an' in an' den out an' square an' den round. I
+says ter myself: "Ef I ends er foot ball, Mister Dark will have a great
+big kick cum'in'." All at once I felt de book in my hand, de
+specticle-glasses on my nose, an' I wuz tryin' ter read. I could read,
+an' den I couldn't. I'd call de fust wud, an' den dat wud would jump on
+all de udder wuds es I cum ter 'em, an' I'd jes' call dat wud right on
+frum de top ter de bottom o' de page.
+
+"Looker-heah, Little Boy," said Mister Dark, "you jes' cyarn't read.
+Let's all laf." Den Mister Dark chuckled er laf, an' Mister Rain
+spattered er laf, an' Mister Wind roared er laf, an' my cat meawed er
+laf, an' my little dawg flopped er laf wid his tail, an' I lafed jes' er
+little teeny bit, an' I wanted it back erg'in.
+
+Mister Dark made er funny little noise, an' whut does you reckon
+happened? My cat wuz on one knee, an' my dawg on de udder. De
+specticle-glasses wuz on dey noses, an' dey read every wud in dat book.
+Now what does you reckon dem wuds wuz erbout? Dey wuz erbout dat wud dat
+played leap frog frum de top ter de bottom o' dat page when I tried ter
+read, an' erbout dat rabbit an' dem hoecakes, an' how I wuz gwine ter
+oversleep myself, an' how my mouf would wotter when I seed de rabbit's
+bones picked clean.
+
+Den I said ter Mister Dark: "Mister Dark, you's pokin' fun at me, an'
+you's makin' my cat meaw fun at me an' my dawg flop fun at me wid his
+tail; but I'se gwine ter beat you in de end fer I'se gwine ter sleep."
+
+"'Scuse me fer readin'," meawed my cat, an' jumped down frum my right
+knee.
+
+"'Scuse me fer readin'," barked my dawg, an' jumped down frum my left
+knee.
+
+"'Scuse us too," mumbled de book an' de specticle-glasses.
+
+"Now, my Little Boy," said Mister Dark, "ef you'll jes' shet yo' eyes
+an' open yo' mouf you'll 'scuse me too to-morrow mawnin'."
+
+I closed my eyes an' opened my mouf an' went ter sleep. I sleeped an'
+sleeped an' sleeped, an' at last I waked up. Mister Daylight wuz dere as
+big as de cabin-room, an' my Mammy wuz frying de hoecakes, an' my Daddy
+wuz stewin' de rabbit, an' when I got all de glue outen my eyelids I
+sed: "Mammy, I'se bin erway, an' I'se hongry."
+
+"Give dat chile er cake," says Mammy.
+
+"An' sum rabbit," says Daddy.
+
+"An' give my cat an' dawg sum too," says I.
+
+Den we all eat an' eat an' eat, an' all at once Mammy says:
+"Look-er-heah, chile, you dun growed er whole pound last night."
+
+"Yas'm," says I, "an' it wuz dis way. While you all wuz er snorin'
+Mister Dark cumed in an' tried ter skeer me, but I jes' spunked up an'
+closed my eyes an' opened my mouf an' swallowed Mister Dark right down
+an' went ter sleep, an' course I'se bigger."
+
+"Give dat smart chile er nudder cake," says Mammy.
+
+Daddy puts de cake in my mouf, an' I starts ter swallow it 'fore I
+thinks ter say: "I thank you." Den I tries ter say it an' swallow at de
+same time, but I gits choked. Den I swallows an' swallows an' swallows
+jes' dis way (Imitate swallowing), an' at last I swallows it down. Den I
+reaches fer en nudder cake, but it ain't dere.
+
+My cat, she meawed, an' my dawg's tail whopped on de floor, but I ain't
+gwine ter tell no more stories, no I ain't, till my Mammy makes more
+hoecakes, an' my Daddy stews more rabbit, an' de great big Mister Dark
+cums back ter make me grow an' give me er appertite.
+
+
+
+
+OBSERVATION
+
+
+"Madam," said the negro principal of a public school to an old negro
+woman who was washing, "I wish your boy to attend my school."
+
+"Whose boy?" asked the old woman as she straightened up and wiped the
+suds from her arms.
+
+"Your boy, madam."
+
+"Well, ef he's my boy, I reckon I'll look atter him."
+
+She placed one hand on the rim of the tub and resumed washing with the
+other.
+
+Every few seconds she would change her position, allowing each hand a
+rest period. She would also change the pitch of a negro melody she was
+singing, accordingly.
+
+"'Fesser," said she, "is you still waitin'?"
+
+"I am, madam."
+
+"'Fesser, you cyarn't git dis boy."
+
+"Madam, I'll stay and argue with you."
+
+"I won't argue wid you, 'fesser. I'se got ter argue wid dese suds. Does
+you heah?"
+
+"Your boy, madam, is running wild."
+
+"'Fesser, you don't need ter run. You kin jes' walk. I'se mighty
+perlite, but does you see dat gate?"
+
+The principal started toward the gate. In passing an ant-hill he walked
+around it. As he reached the corner of the house a large fierce dog
+sprang at him. He spoke to the dog, and patted its head. The dog wagged
+its tail and followed him to the gate. After much trouble he opened and
+closed the gate and started off at a brisk pace.
+
+"'Fesser! 'fesser!" cried the old woman, "you kin hab dis boy. Come back
+an' git him right now."
+
+The principal returned and asked the old woman what had converted her.
+
+"It was dem ways of yourn, 'fesser. You's got er mighty good heart in
+you, 'kase you walked erround dem ants. Dat's jes' de heart I wants ter
+beat fer my boy. Dat dog bites most folks, but you jes' charmed all de
+fight outen him. My boy's got er lot of fight an' some meanness in him,
+but I sees you kin charm dem out. Most folks leaves dat gate open, but
+you jes' kept on till you closed it. I knows you'll keep at dis boy till
+you makes er man outen him. Heah's de boy, 'fesser. Jes' take him
+erlong."
+
+As the principal and boy walked in the street the old woman stood at
+the gate and said: "Jes' look at dat boy of mine; he's walkin' lack de
+'fesser erready."
+
+
+
+
+THE BOY AND THE IDEAL
+
+
+Once upon a time a Mule, a Hog, a Snake, and a Boy met. Said the Mule:
+"I eat and labor that I may grow strong in the heels. It is fine to have
+heels so gifted. My heels make people cultivate distance."
+
+Said the Hog: "I eat and labor that I may grow strong in the snout. It
+is fine to have a fine snout. I keep people watching for my snout."
+
+"No exchanging heels for snouts," broke in the Mule.
+
+"No," answered the Hog; "snouts are naturally above heels."
+
+Said the Snake: "I eat to live, and live to cultivate my sting. The way
+people shun me shows my greatness. Beget stings, comrades, and stings
+will beget glory."
+
+Said the Boy: "There is a star in my life like unto a star in the sky. I
+eat and labor that I may think aright and feel aright. These rounds will
+conduct me to my star. Oh, inviting star!"
+
+"I am not so certain of that," said the Mule. "I have noticed your kind
+and ever see some of myself in them. Your star is in the distance."
+
+The Boy answered by smelling a flower and listening to the song of a
+bird. The Mule looked at him and said: "He is all tenderness and care.
+The true and the beautiful have robbed me of a kinsman. His star is
+near."
+
+Said the Boy: "I approach my star."
+
+"I am not so certain of that," interrupted the Hog. "I have noticed your
+kind and I ever see some of myself in them. Your star is a delusion."
+
+The Boy answered by painting the flower and setting the notes of the
+bird's song to music.
+
+The Hog looked at the boy and said: "His soul is attuned by nature. The
+meddler in him is slain."
+
+"I can all but touch my star," cried the Boy.
+
+"I am not so certain of that," remarked the Snake. "I have watched your
+kind and ever see some of myself in them. Stings are nearer than stars."
+
+The Boy answered by meditating upon the picture and music. The Snake
+departed, saying that stings and stars cannot keep company.
+
+The Boy journeyed on, ever led by the star. Some distance away the Mule
+was bemoaning the presence of his heels and trying to rid himself of
+them by kicking a tree. The Hog was dividing his time between looking
+into a brook and rubbing his snout on a rock to shorten it. The Snake
+lay dead of its own bite. The Boy journeyed on, led by an ever inviting
+star.
+
+
+
+
+THE NEGRO AND THE AUTOMOBILE
+
+
+A white man wished to sell an old-time negro an automobile. To this end
+he took him a spin around the town. Soon something was in the way, and
+that "honk-honk!" warning was sounded.
+
+"Boss," said the negro, "I don' see no wil' geese 'roun' heah."
+
+As the automobile increased its speed the negro braced himself with his
+feet and gripped the seat with both hands.
+
+"Is the machine running too fast?" asked the white man.
+
+"I don' keer how fast you runs, but I does objects ter flying," said the
+negro.
+
+The automobile was stopped and the white man got out. The "works"
+continued with that "chook-er-chook" sound. The negro, seeing that the
+wheels were not moving, sprang out excitedly.
+
+"Will you buy the automobile?" asked the white man.
+
+"No, suh," said the negro. "I don' buy no thing lack dat whut flies
+when hit's running, an' whut runs when hit's standing still. No, suh!
+Good-by! I'se gone!"
+
+
+
+
+FAITH IN THE WHITE FOLKS
+
+
+It was night, and Elm Street was dimly lighted. From a negro
+eating-house that opened into the street came sounds of harsh voices and
+the rattling of pans. Rachel, the mulatto, who believed everything a
+white person did or said, and who tested all information with: "Did de
+white folks say so?" was tugging at her little grandson, who was selling
+papers.
+
+"I can't sell papers here, grandma."
+
+"Why, son?"
+
+"The folks in the eating-house won't let me."
+
+"Did de white folks say so?"
+
+"No, ma'am. This route was given to another boy."
+
+"Did de white folks do it?"
+
+Just then some one threw a loaf of bread in the eating-house. It passed
+through the door and struck Rachel. Her little grandson pulled her apron
+and asked: "Did the white folks do that too?"
+
+"No, child. Dis is de way of it. Dis bread will fatten de chickens. De
+chickens will sharpen de white folks' wits. De white folks, dey'll boss
+de niggers; and de niggers, dey'll be niggers still. Come on now, honey
+child, an' bring de bread erlong wid you."
+
+
+
+
+THE CANE AND THE UMBRELLA
+
+
+A man who had never seen a cane or an umbrella chanced to be at a sale
+and bought one of each. He held the umbrella over him and tapped upon
+the ground with the cane as he walked. The wind rose suddenly. He
+boarded a car quickly without lowering the umbrella. Away went the car,
+and away went the umbrella.
+
+He alighted from the car after riding several squares. He was tapping
+the ground with his cane as he walked.
+
+"How are you?" said a man he had not seen for years, and extended his
+hand.
+
+"How are you, old friend?" he replied and offered the hand that held the
+cane, giving his friend a severe whack.
+
+"You rascal!" cried his friend, and knocked him down.
+
+In falling he broke his cane and alighted near the fragments of his
+umbrella.
+
+"Cane and umbrella," said he, "you are the cause of all my trouble."
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Negro Tales, by Joseph Seamon Cotter
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 41590 ***