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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/39726-0.txt b/39726-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6da73f9 --- /dev/null +++ b/39726-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,14469 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rolliad, in Two Parts, by +Joseph Richardson and George Ellis and Richard Tickell and French Laurence + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Rolliad, in Two Parts + Probationary Odes for the Laureatship & Political Eclogues + +Author: Joseph Richardson + George Ellis + Richard Tickell + French Laurence + +Release Date: May 19, 2012 [EBook #39726] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: UTF-8 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROLLIAD, IN TWO PARTS *** + + + + +Produced by Steffen Haugk + + + + +THE ROLLIAD, +IN TWO PARTS; +PROBATIONARY ODES +FOR THE +_LAUREATSHIP_; +AND POLITICAL ECLOGUES: +WITH +CRITICISMS AND ILLUSTRATIONS. +REVISED, CORRECTED AND ENLARGED BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHORS. + + * * * * * + +THE TWENTY-FIRST EDITION. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON:_ +PRINTED FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES’S SQUARE. + + * * * * * + +1799 + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + Criticisms on the Rolliad. Part the First + Ditto. Part the Second + + POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + The Rose + The Lyars + Margaret Nicholson + Charles Jenkinson + Jekyll + + PROBATIONARY ODES. + Preliminary Discourse + Thoughts on Ode Writing + Recommendatory Testimonies + Account of Mr. Warton’s Ascension + Laureat Election + ODE, by Sir C. Wray, Bart. + Ditto, by Lord Mulgrave + Ditto, by Sir Joseph Mawbey, Bart. + Ditto, by Sir Richard Hill, Bart. + Ditto, by Mr. Macpherson + Ditto, by Mr. Mason + Ditto, by the Attorney-General + Ditto, by N. W. Wraxhall, Esq. + Ditto, by Sir G. P. Turner, Bart. + Ditto, by M. A. Taylor, Esq. + Ditto, by Major John Scott, M. P. + Ditto, by Henry Dundas, Esq. + Ditto, by Dr. Joseph Warton + Ditto, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Lord Thurlow + Ditto, by Dr. Prettyman + Ditto, by the Marquis of Graham + Second ODE, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Sir George Howard, K. B. + Ditto, by Abp. Markham + Official Ode, by the Rev. Thomas Warton + Proclamation, &c. + Table of Instructions + + POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + Address to the Public + Ode extraordinary, by the Rev. W. Mason + The Statesman, an Eclogue + Rondeaus + Epigrams on the Immaculate Boy + The Delavaliad + This is the House that George built + Epigrams by Sir Cecil Wray + Lord Graham’s Diary + Extracts from Second Volume of Lord Mulgrave’s Essays on Eloquence + Anecdotes of Mr. Pitt + Letter from a new Member to his Friend in the Country + The Political Receipt Book + Hints from Dr. Prettyman to the Premier’s Porter + A Tale + Dialogue between a certain Personage and his Minister + Prettymaniana.--Epigrams on the Rev. Dr. P--------’s Duplicity + ------Foreign Epigrams + Advertisement Extraordinary + Vive le Scrutiny; Cross Gospel the First + ----------------- Cross Gospel the Second + Paragraph Office, Ivy-lane.--Proclamation + Pitt and Pinetti, a Parallel + New Abstract from the Budget + Theatrical Intelligence extraordinary + The Westminster Guide, Part I. + ---------------------- Part II. + Inscription, to the Memory of the late Marquis of Rockingham + Epigrams on one Pigot + Billy Eden, or the Renegado Scout, a Ballad + Epigrams on Sir Elijah Impey refusing to resign his gown as + Chief Justice of Bengal + Proclamation + Original Letter + A Congratulatory Ode + Ode to Sir Elijah Impey + Song + Master Billy’s Budget.--A new Song + Epigrams + Ministerial undoubted Facts + Journal of the Right Hon. Henry Dundas + Incantation + Translations of Lord Belgrave’s memorable quotation + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FOURTH EDITION. + + +Three very large impressions of the following work being already sold, +and the demand for it daily increasing, it is now a fourth time +submitted to the Public, revised and corrected from the many literal +errors, which, with every precaution, will too often deform a first +edition; especially when circumstances render an early publication +necessary. + + * * * * * + +In the present edition some few alterations have been made, but +none of any considerable magnitude; except that the Appendix of +Miscellaneous Pieces is here suppressed. This has been done, in some +degree, for the conveniency of binding this first part of the +CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD with the second; but more, indeed, in +consequence of a design, which we at present entertain, of printing +most of those pieces with other productions of the same Authors in +one octavo volume, under the title of POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +As the bulk and matter of the book are thus diminished, the price also +is proportionally reduced. Where the CRITICISMS seem to require any +elucidation from the contents of the former Appendix, extracts are +now given at the bottom of the page instead of the references in our +former Editions. + + * * * * * + +This slight change we flatter ourselves will not be disapproved by +the Public; and we hope, that they will not receive with a less degree +of favour the intimation here given of the Miscellaneous Volume, which +will probably be published in the course of the ensuing winter. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT. + + +The CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD, in their original form, excited such +a general curiosity, that three spurious editions have already been +sold, independently of their publication in various of the Daily +Papers, and Monthly Magazines. Such a marked testimony in their +favour, cannot but be peculiarly flattering to us. We therefore +thought it incumbent on us in return, to exert our utmost endeavours +in rendering them, as far as our judgment will direct us, yet more +worthy of that attention with which they have been honoured, imperfect +as they fell from us, through a channel, that did not seem necessarily +to demand any very great degree of precision. + +In the present edition some few passages have been expunged; others +softened; many enlarged; more corrected; and two whole numbers, with +the greater part of a third, are altogether new. A poeticoprosaical +Dedication to SIR LLOYD KENYON, now Lord Chief Justice of the +Court of King’s Bench, has also been added; and an Appendix is now +given, consisting of Miscellaneous Pieces, to which the Criticisms +incidentally refer. + + * * * * * + +It may perhaps give offence to some very chastized judgments, that in +this our authentic edition, we have subjoined notes on a professed +commentary. Some short explanations, however, appeared occasionally +necessary, more especially as the subjects of Political Wit in their +very nature are fugitive and evanescent. We only fear that our +illustrations have not been sufficiently frequent, as we have +privately been asked to what “Mr. Hardinge’s Arithmetic” in the +Dedication alluded; so little impression was made on the public by +the learned Gentleman’s elaborate calculation of the Orations spoken, +and the time expended in the discussion of the Westminster Scrutiny! +Indeed, we have known persons even ignorant that Sir Lloyd Kenyon +voted for his stables. + +This Edition has further been ornamented with a Tree of the Genealogy, +and the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES; for an +explanation of which we beg leave to refer the reader to page xiii. +The Genealogy is likewise given at full length from the Morning +Herald, where it was originally published, and was probably the +foundation of the ROLLIAD. It is therefore inserted in its proper +place, before the first extract from the Dedication to the Poem, which +immediately preceded the first Numbers of the CRITICISMS. + + + + +EXPLANATION OF THE FRONTISPIECE AND TITLE-PAGE. + + +The FRONTISPIECE represents Duke ROLLO, with his Sword and Ducal +Coronet lying by his side. It is supposed to be a striking likeness, +and was copied from a painting in the Window of a Church at Rouen +in Normandy. From this illustrious Warrior springs a Tree of the +Genealogy of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES. The most eminent of this great +Family alone are noticed. The particulars of their history may be +found in page xxix and xxx. +[Transcriber’s note: Refers to + ‘Short Account of the Family of the Rollos’] + + * * * * * + +The TITLE-PAGE exhibits the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the Family. +The Arms are, Three French Rolls, Or, between two Rolls of Parchment, +Proper, placed in form of a Cheveron on a Field Argent--The Motto is +_Jouez bien votre Róle_, or, as we have sometimes seen it +spelt--_Rolle_. The Crest, which has been lately changed by the present +Mr. ROLLE, is a half-length of the Master of the Rolls, like a Lion +demi-rampant with a Roll of Parchment instead of a Pheon’s Head +between his Paws. + + + + +DEDICATION. +To Sir Lloyd Kenyan, Bart. +MASTER OF THE ROLLS, &c. &c. + + +MAY IT PLEASE YOUR HONOUR, + +It was originally my intention to have dedicated the CRITICISMS on +the ROLLIAD, as the ROLLIAD itself is dedicated, to the illustrious +character, from whose hereditary name the Poem derives its title; +and[1], as I some time since apprized the public, I had actually +obtained his permission to lay this little work at his feet. No +sooner, however, was he made acquainted with my after-thought of +inscribing my book to your honour, but, with the liberality, which +ever marks a great mind, he wrote to me of his own accord, declaring +his compleat acquiescence in the propriety of the alteration. For if +I may take the liberty of transcribing his own ingenuous and modest +expression, “I am myself,” said he, “but _a simple Rolle_; SIR LLOYD +KENYON _is a Master of Rolls_.” + + Great ROLLO’s heir, whose cough, whose laugh, whose groan, + The’ Antæus EDMUND has so oft o’erthrown: + Whose cry of “question” silenc’d CHARLES’s sense; + That cry, more powerful than PITT’s eloquence; + Ev’n he, thus high in glory, as in birth, + Yields willing way to thy superior worth. + +Indeed, if I had not been so happy as to receive this express sanction +of Mr. ROLLE’s concurrence, I should nevertheless have thought myself +justified in presuming it, from the very distinguished testimony which +he has lately borne to your merits, by taking a demi-rampant of YOUR +HONOUR for his crest; a circumstance, in my opinion, so highly +complimentary to your honour, that I was studious to have it as +extensively known as possible. I have therefore given directions to +my Publisher, to exhibit your portrait, with the ROLLE ARMS, and +Motto, by way of Vignette in the Title Page; that displayed, as I +trust it will be, at the Window of every Bookseller in Great-Britain, +it may thus attract the admiration of the most incurious, as they pass +along the streets. This solicitude, to diffuse the knowledge of your +person, as widely as your fame, may possibly occasion some little +distress to your modesty; yet permit me to hope, SIR LLOYD, that the +motive will plead my pardon; and, perhaps, even win the approbation of +your smile; if you can be supposed to smile without offence to the +gravity of that nature, which seems from your very birth to have +marked you for a Judge. + + Behold the’ Engraver’s mimic labours trace + The sober image of that sapient face: + See him, in each peculiar charm exact, + Below dilate it, and above contract; + For Nature thus, inverting her design, + From vulgar ovals hath distinguish’d thine: + See him each nicer character supply, + The pert no-meaning puckering round the eye, + The mouth in plaits precise demurely clos’d, + Each order’d feature, and each line compos’d, + Where Wisdom sits a-squat, in starch disguise, + Like Dulness couch’d, to catch us by surprise. + And now he spreads around thy pomp of wig, + In owl-like pride of legal honour’s big; + That wig, which once of curl on curl profuse, + In well-kept buckle stiff, and smugly spruce, + Deck’d the plain Pleader; then in nobler taste, + With well-frizz’d bush the’ Attorney-General grac’d; + And widely waving now with ampler flow, + Still with thy titles and thy fame shall grow, + Behold, SIR LLOYD, and while with fond delight + The dear resemblance feasts thy partial sight, + Smile, if thou canst; and, smiling on this book, + Cast the glad omen of one favouring look. + +But it is on public grounds, that I principally wish to vindicate my +choice of YOUR HONOUR for my Patron. The ROLLIAD, I have reason +to believe, owed its existence to the [2] memorable speech of the +Member of Devonshire on the first Discussion of the Westminster +Scrutiny, when he so emphatically proved himself the genuine +descendant of DUKE ROLLO; and in the noble contempt which he avowed, +for the boasted rights of Electors, seemed to breathe the very soul +of his great progenitor, who came to extirpate the liberties of +Englishmen with the sword. It must be remembered, however, that +Your Honour ministered the occasion to his glory. You, SIR LLOYD, +have ever been reputed the immediate Author of the Scrutiny. Your +opinion is said to have been privately consulted on the framing of +the Return; and your public defence of the High-Bailiff’s proceeding, +notoriously furnished MR. ROLLO, and the other friends of the +Minister, with all the little argument, which they advanced against +the objected exigency of the Writ. You taught them to reverence that +holy thing, the Conscience of a Returning Officer, above all Law, +Precedent, Analogy, Public Expediency, and the popular Right of +Representation, to which our Forefathers erroneously paid religious +respect, as to the most sacred franchise of our Constitution. You +prevailed on them to manifest an impartiality singularly honourable; +and to prefer the sanctity of this single Conscience, to a round dozen +of the most immaculate consciences, chosen in the purest possible +manner from their own _pure House of Commons_. + + Thine is the glorious measure; thine alone: + Thee father of the Scrutiny, we own. + Ah! without thee what treasures had we lost, + More worth than twenty Scrutinies would cost! + To’ instruct the Vestry, and convince the House, + What Law from MURPHY! what plain sense from ROUS! + What wit from MULGRAVE! from DUNDAS, what truth! + What perfect virtue from the VIRTUOUS YOUTH! + What deep research from ARDEN the profound! + What argument from BEARCROFT ever sound! + By MUNCASTER, what generous offers made; + By HARDINGE, what arithmetic display’d! + And, oh! what rhetoric, from MAHON that broke + In printed speeches, which he never spoke! + Ah! without thee, what worth neglected long, + Had wanted still its dearest meed of song! + In vain high-blooded ROLLE, unknown to fame, + Had boasted still the honours of his name: + In vain had exercis’d his noble spleen + On BURKE and FOX--the ROLLIAD had not been. + +But, alas! SIR LLOYD, at the very moment, while I am writing, +intelligence has reached me, that the Scrutiny is at an end. Your +favourite measure is no more. The child of your affection has met +a sudden and a violent fate. I trust, however, that “the Ghost of +the departed Scrutiny” (in the bold but beautiful language of MR. +DUNDAS) will yet haunt the spot, where it was brought forth, where +it was fostered, and where it fell. Like the Ghost of Hamlet it shall +be a perturbed spirit, though it may not come in a questionable shape. +It shall fleet before the eyes of those to whom it was dear, +to admonish them, how they rush into future dangers; to make known +the secret of its private hoards; or to confess to them the sins of +its former days, and to implore their piety, that they would give +peace to its shade, by making just reparation. Perhaps too, it may +sometimes visit the murderer, like the ghost of Banquo, to dash his +joys. It cannot indeed rise up in its proper form to push him from +his seat, yet it may assume some other formidable appearance to be +his eternal tormentor. These, however, are but visionary consolations, +while every loyal bosom must feel substantial affliction from the late +iniquitous vote, tyrannically compelling the High-Bailiff to make a +return after an enquiry of nine months only; especially when you had +so lately armed him with all power necessary to make his enquiry +effectual. + + [3] Ah! how shall I the’ unrighteous vote bewail? + Again corrupt Majorities prevail. + Poor CORBETT’s Conscience, tho’ a little loth, + Must blindly gape, and gulp the’ untasted oath; + If he, whose conscience never felt a qualm, + If GROGAN fail the good man’s doubts to calm. + No more shall MORGAN, for his six months’ hire, + Contend, that FOX should share the’ expence of fire; + Whole Sessions shall he _croak_, nor bear away + The price, that paid the silence of a day: + No more, till COLLICK some new story hatch, + Long-winded ROUS for hours shall praise Dispatch; + COLLICK to Whigs and Warrants back shall slink, + And ROUS, a Pamphleteer, re-plunge in ink: + MURPHY again French Comedies shall steal, + Call them his own, and garble, to conceal; + Or, pilfering still, and patching without grace + His thread-bare shreds of Virgil out of place, + With Dress and Scenery, Attitude and Trick, + Swords, Daggers, Shouts, and Trumpets in the nick, + With Ahs! and Ohs! Starts, Pauses, Rant, and Rage, + Give a new GRECIAN DAUGHTER to the stage: + But, Oh, SIR CECIL!--Fled to shades again + From the proud roofs, which here he raised in vain, + He seeks, unhappy! with the Muse to cheer + His rising griefs, or drown them in small-beer! + Alas! the Muse capricious flies the hour + When most we need her, and the beer is sour: + Mean time Fox thunders faction uncontroul’d, + Crown’d with fresh laurels, from new triumphs bold. + +These general evils arising from the termination of the Scrutiny, +YOUR HONOUR, I doubt not, will sincerely lament in common with all +true lovers of their King and Country. But in addition to these, you, +SIR LLOYD, have particular cause to regret, that [4] “the last hair in +this tail of procrastination” is plucked. I well know, what eager +anxiety you felt to establish the suffrage, which you gave, as the +delegate of your Coach-horses: and I unaffectedly condole with you, +that you have lost this great opportunity of displaying your +unfathomable knowledge and irresistible logic to the confusion of +your enemies. How learnedly would you have quoted the memorable +instance of Darius, who was elected King of Persia by the casting +vote of his Horse! Though indeed the merits of that election have been +since impeached, not from any alledged illegality of the vote itself, +if it had been fairly given; but because some jockeyship has been +suspected, and the voter, it has been said, was bribed the night +before the election! How ably too would you have applied the case +of Caligula’s horse, who was chosen Consul of Rome! For if he was +capable of being elected (you would have said) _à fortiori_, there +could have been no natural impediment to his being an elector; since +_omne majus continet in se minus_, and the trust is certainly greater +to fill the first offices of the state, than to have one share among +many in appointing to them. Neither can I suppose that you would have +omitted so grave and weighty an authority as Captain Gulliver, who, +in the course of his voyages, discovered a country, where Horses +discharged every Duty of Political Society. You might then have passed +to the early history of our own island, and have expatiated on the +known veneration in which horses were held by our Saxon Ancestors; +who, by the way, are supposed also to have been the founders +of Parliaments. You might have touched on their famous standard; +digressed to the antiquities of the White Horse, in Berkshire, and +other similar monuments in different counties; and from thence have +urged the improbability, that when they instituted elections, they +should have neglected the rights of an animal, thus highly esteemed +and almost sanctified among them. I am afraid indeed, that with all +your Religion and Loyalty, you could not have made much use of the +White Horse of Death, or the White Horse of Hanover. But, for a +_bonne bouche_, how beautifully might you have introduced your +favourite maxim of _ubi ratio, ibi jus!_ and to prove the reason of +the thing, how convincingly might you have descanted, in an elegant +panegyric on the virtues and abilities of horses, from Xanthus the +Grecian Conjuring Horse, whose prophecies are celebrated by Homer, +down to the Learned Little Horse over Westminster Bridge! with whom +you might have concluded, lamenting that, as he is not an Elector, +the Vestry could not have the assistance of one, capable of doing +so much more justice to the question than yourself!--Pardon me, +SIR LLOYD, that I have thus attempted to follow the supposed course +of your oratory. I feel it to be truly inimitable. Yet such was the +impression made on my mind by some of YOUR HONOUR’s late reasonings +respecting the Scrutiny, that I could not withstand the involuntary +impulse of endeavouring, for my own improvement, to attain some faint +likeness of that wonderful pertinency and cogency, which I so much +admired in the great original. + + How shall the neighing kind thy deeds requite, + Great YAHOO Champion of the HOUYHNHNM’s right? + In grateful memory may thy dock-tail pair, + Unarm’d convey thee with sure-footed care. + Oh! may they, gently pacing o’er the stones, + With no rude shock annoy thy batter’d bones, + Crush thy judicial cauliflow’r, and down + Shower the mix’d lard and powder o’er thy gown; + Or in unseemly wrinkles crease that band, + Fair work of fairer LADY KENYON’s hand. + No!--May the pious brutes, with measur’d swing, + Assist the friendly motion of the spring, + While golden dreams of perquisites and fees + Employ thee, slumbering o’er thine own decrees. + But when a Statesman in St. Stephen’s walls + Thy Country claims thee, and the Treasury calls, + To pour thy splendid bile in bitter tide + On hardened sinners who with Fox divide, + Then may they, rattling on in jumbling trot, + With rage and jolting make thee doubly hot, + Fire thy Welch blood, enflamed with zeal and leeks, + And kindle the red terrors of thy cheeks, + Till all thy gather’d wrath in furious fit + On RIGBY bursts--unless he votes with PITT. + +I might here, SIR LLOYD, launch into a new panegyric on the subject +of this concluding couplet. But in this I shall imitate your +moderation, who, for reasons best known to yourself, have long +abandoned to MR ROLLE[5] “those loud and repeated calls on notorious +defaulters, which will never be forgiven by certain patriots.” +Besides, I consider your public-spirited behaviour in the late +Election and Scrutiny for Westminster, as the great monument of your +fame to all posterity. I have, therefore, dwelt on this--more +especially as it was immediately connected with the origin of the +ROLLIAD--till my dedication has run to such a length, that I cannot +think of detaining your valuable time any longer; unless merely to +request your HONOUR’s zealous protection of a work which may be in +some sort attributed to you, as its ultimate cause, which is +embellished with your portrait, and which now records in this address, +the most brilliant exploit of your political glory. + + Choak’d by _a Roll_, ’tis said, that OTWAY died; + OTWAY the Tragic Muse’s tender pride. + Oh! may my ROLLE to me, thus favour’d, give + A better fate;--that I may eat, and live! + + I am, YOUR HONOUR’s + Most obedient, + Most respectful, + Most devoted, humble servant, + THE EDITOR. + + +[1] In a postscript originally subjoined to the eighth Number. + +[2] Mr. Rolle said, “he could not be kept all the summer debating +about the rights of the Westminster electors. His private concerns +were of more importance to him; than his right as a Westminster +Elector.” + +[3] I shall give the Reader in one continued note, what information +I think necessary for understanding these verses. During the six +months that the Scrutiny continued in St. Martin’s, the most +distinguished exhibition of Mr. Morgan’s talents was the maintenance +of an argument, that Mr. Fox ought to pay half the expence of fire +in the room where the Witnesses attended. The learned Gentleman is +familiarly called _Frog_, to which I presume the Author alludes in +the word _croak_. Mr. Rous spoke two hours to recommend Expedition. +At the time the late Parliament was dissolved, he wrote two Pamphlets +in favour of the Ministry. I have forgot the titles of these +pamphlets, as probably the reader has too, if he ever knew them. +However, I can assure him of the fact.--Mr. Collick, the +Witness-General of Sir Cecil Wray, is a Hair-Merchant and Justice +of Peace. Sir Cecil’s taste both for Poetry and Small-beer are well +known, as is the present unfinished state of his newly-fronted house in +Pall-Mall. + +[4] “This appears to be the last hair in the tail of procrastination” +The Master of the Rolls, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker. See Lord Mulg. Essays on Eloquence, Vol. II. + +[5] Mr. Ridgway tells me, he thinks there is something like these +words in one of the Reviews, where the ROLLIAD is criticised. + + + + +SHORT ACCOUNT +OF THE FAMILY OF THE +ROLLOS, _now_ ROLLES, +FAITHFULLY EXTRACTED FROM THE +RECORDS OF THE HERALD’S OFFICE. + + +JOHN ROLLE, Esq. is descended from the ancient Duke ROLLO, of +Normandy; ROLLO passed over into Britain, anno 983, where he soon +begat another ROLLO, upon the wife of a Saxon drummer. Our young ROLLO +was distinguished by his gigantic stature, and, as we learn from +ODERICUS VITALIS, was slain by Hildebrand, the Danish Champion, +in a fit of jealousy. We find in Camden, that the race of the ROLLOS +fell into adversity in the reign of Stephen, and in the succeeding +reign, GASPAR DE ROLLO was an Ostler in Denbighshire.--But during +the unhappy contests of York and Lancaster, William de Wyrcester, +and the continuator of the annals of Croyland, have it, that the +ROLLOS became Scheriffes of Devon. “_Scheriffi Devonienses_ ROLLI +_fuerunt_”--and in another passage, “_arrestaverunt Debitores plurime_ +ROLLORUM”--hence a doubt in Fabian, whether this ROLLO was not +Bailiff, _ipse potius quam Scheriffus_. From this period, however, +they gradually advanced in circumstances; ROLLO, in Henry the VIIIth, +being amerced in 800 marks for pilfering two manchetts of beef from +the King’s buttery, the which, saith Selden, _facillime payavit_. + +In 7th and 8th of Phil. and Mar. three ROLLOS indeed were gibetted for +piracy, and from that date the family changed the final O of the name +into an E. In the latter annals of the ROLLOS now ROLLES, but little +of consequence is handed down to us. We have it that TIMOTHY ROLLE +of Plympton, in the 8th of Queen Anne, endowed three alms-houses +in said town. JEREMIAH his second son was counted the fattest man of +his day, and DOROTHEA ROLLE his third cousin died of a terrible +dysentery. From this period the ROLLES have burst upon public notice, +with such a blaze of splendour, as renders all further accounts of +this illustrious race entirely unnecessary. + + + + +EXTRACT FROM THE DEDICATION +OF THE +ROLLIAD. +AN +_EPIC POEM_, +IN +TWELVE BOOKS. + + + When Norman ROLLO sought fair Albion’s coast, + (Long may his offspring prove their country’s boast!) + Thy genius, Britain, sure inspir’d his soul + To bless this Island with the race of ROLLE! + Illustrious ROLLE! O may thy honour’d name + _Roll_ down distinguish’d on the _Rolls_ of fame! + Still first be found on Devon’s county polls! + Still future Senates boast their future ROLLES! + Since of all _Rolls_ which in this world we see, + The world has ne’er produc’d a _Roll_ like thee. + Hot _Rolls_ and butter break the Briton’s fast, + Thy speeches yield a more sublime repast. + Compar’d to thine, how small their boasted heat! + Nor, mix’d with treacle, are they half so sweet. + O’er _Rolls_ of parchment Antiquarians pore, + Thy mind, O ROLLE, affords a richer store. + Let those on law or history who write, + To Rolls of Parliament resort for light, + Whilst o’er our Senate, from our living ROLLE, + Beam the bright rays of an enlightened soul; + In wonder lost, we slight their useless stuff, + And feel one ROLLE of Parliament enough. + The skill’d musician to direct his band, + Waves high a Roll of paper in his hand; + When PITT would drown the eloquence of BURKE, + You seem the ROLLE best suited to his work; + His well-train’d band, obedient know their cue, + And cough and groan in unison with you. + Thy god-like ancestor, in valour tried, + Still bravely fought by conqu’ring WILLIAM’s side: + In British blood he drench’d his purple sword, + Proud to partake the triumphs of his lord: + So you, with zeal, support through each debate, + The conqu’ring WILLIAM of a latter date: + Whene’er he speaks, attentive still to chear + The lofty nothing with a friendly “hear,” + And proud your leader’s glory to promote, + Partake his triumph in a faithful vote. + Ah! sure while Coronets like hailstones fly, + When Peers are made, the Gods alone know why, + Thy hero’s gratitude, O ROLLE, to thee, + A ducal diadem might well decree; + Great ROLLO’s title to thy house restore, + Let E usurp the place of O no more, } + Then ROLLE himself should be what ROLLO was before. } + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + + “Cedite Romani Scriptores, cedite Græci.” + +Nothing can be more consonant to the advice of Horace and Aristotle, +than the conduct of our author throughout this Poem. The action is +one, entire and great event, being the procreation of a child on the +wife of a Saxon Drummer. The Poem opens with a most laboured and +masterly description of a storm. ROLLO’s state of mind in this arduous +situation is finely painted: + + Now ROLLO storms more loudly than the wind, + Now doubts and black despair perplex his mind; + Hopeless to see his vessel safely harbour’d, + He hardly knows his starboard for his larboard! + +That a hero in distress should not know his right hand from his left, +is most natural and affecting; in other hands, indeed, it would not +have appeared sufficiently poetical, but the technical expressions +of our author convey the idea in all the blaze of metaphor. The storm +at length subsides, and ROLLO is safely landed on the coast of Sussex. +His first exploit, like that of Æneas, is deer-stealing. He then sets +out in the disguise of a Sussex Smuggler, to obtain intelligence of +the country and its inhabitants: + + Wrapt in a close great-coat, he plods along; + A seeming Smuggler, to deceive the throng. + +This expedient of the Smuggler’s Great-coat, we must acknowledge, +is not quite so Epic, as the veil of clouds, with which Minerva in +the Odyssey, and Venus, in the Æneid, surround their respective +heroes. It is, however, infinitely more natural, and gains in +propriety, what it loses in sublimity. Thus disguised, our adventurer +arrives at the Country-house of Dame SHIPTON, a lady of exquisite +beauty, and first Concubine to the Usurper HAROLD. Her likeness +(as we all know) is still preserved at the wax-work in Fleet-Street. +To this lady ROLLO discovers himself, and is received by her in +the most hospitable manner. At supper, he relates to her, with great +modesty, his former actions, and his design of conquering England; +in which (charmed with the grace with which he eats and tells stories) +she promises to assist him, and they set off together for London. +In the third book Dame SHIPTON, or, as the author styles her, +SHIPTONIA, proposes a party to the puppet-show; on the walk they are +surprised by a shower, and retire under Temple-bar, where Shiptonia +forgets her fidelity to Harold. We are sorry to observe, that this +incident is not sufficiently poetical; nor does Shiptonia part with +her chastity in so solemn a manner as Dido in the Æneid. In the +opening of the fourth book, likewise, we think our author inferior +to Virgil, whom he exactly copies, and in some places translates; +he begins in this manner: + + But now (for thus it was decreed above) + SHIPTONIA falls excessively in love; + In every vein, great ROLLO’s eyes and fame + Light up, and then add fuel to the flame! + His words, his beauty, stick within her breast, + Nor do her cares afford her any rest. + +Here we think that Virgil’s “hærent infixi pectore vultus verbaque,” +is ill translated by the prosaic word _stick_. We must confess, +however, that from the despair and death of Shiptonia, to the battle +of Hastings, in which ROLLO kills with his own hand the Saxon Drummer, +and carries off his wife, the Poem abounds with beautiful details, +cold-blooded matter of facts. Critics may perhaps object that it +appears from the Genealogy of the Rollos, Duke ROLLO came to England +more than 60 years before the battle of Hastings: though the Poet +represents him as the principal hero in that memorable engagement. +But such deviations from history are among the common licences +of poetry. Thus Virgil, for the sake of a beautiful episode, makes +Dido live in the time of Æneas, whereas she lived in reality +200 years before the Trojan war; and if authority more in point be +desired, Mr. Cumberland wrote a Tragedy, called the Battle of +Hastings, in which there was not a single event, except the death of +Harold, that had the slightest foundation in historical facts, or even +probability. + +But the sixth book, in which ROLLO, almost despairing of success, +descends into a Night Cellar to consult the illustrious MERLIN on +his future destiny, is a master-piece of elegance. In this book, +as the Philosopher’s magic lantern exhibits the characters of all +ROLLO’s descendants, and even all those who are to act on the same +stage with the Marcellus of the piece, the present illustrious +Mr. ROLLE, we mean to select in our next number some of the most +striking passages of this inexhaustible Magazine of Poetry! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +Our author, after giving an account of the immediate descendants of +ROLLO, finds himself considerably embarrassed by the three unfortunate +ROLLOS[1], whom history relates to have been hanged. From this +difficulty, however, he relieves himself, by a contrivance equally new +and arduous, viz. by versifying the bill of indictment, and inserting +in it a flaw, by which they are saved from condemnation. But in the +transactions of those early times, however dignified the phraseology, +and enlivened by fancy, there is little to amaze and less to interest; +let us hasten, therefore, to those characters about whom not to be +solicitous, is to want curiosity, and whom not to admire, is to want +gratitude--to those characters, in short, whose splendour illuminates +the present House of Commons. + +Of these, our author’s principal favourite appears to be that +amiable[2] young Nobleman, whose Diary we have all perused with +so much pleasure. Of him he says,-- + + ------Superior to abuse, + He nobly glories in the name of GOOSE; + Such Geese at Rome from the perfidious Gaul + Preserv’d the Treas’ry-Bench and Capitol, &c. &c. + +In the description of Lord MAHON, our author departs a little from +his wonted gravity,-- + + ------This Quixote of the Nation, + Beats his own Windmills in gesticulation, + To _Strike_, not _please_, his utmost force he bends, + And all his sense is at his fingers ends, &c. &c. + +But the most beautiful effort of our author’s genius (if we +except only the character of Mr. ROLLE himself) is contained +in the description of Mr. PITT. + + Pert without fire, without experience sage, + Young with more art than SHELBURNE glean’d from age, + loo proud from pilfer’d greatness to descend, + Too humble not to call DUNDAS his friend, + In solemn dignity and sullen state, + This new Octavius rises to debate! + Mild and more mild he sees each placid row + Of Country Gentlemen with rapture glow; + He sees, convuls’d with sympathetic throbs, + Apprentice Peers, and deputy Nabobs! + Nor Rum Contractors think his speech too long, + While words, like treacle, trickle from his Tongue! + O Soul congenial to the Souls of ROLLES! + Whether you tax the luxury of Coals, + Or vote some necessary millions more, + To feed an Indian friend’s exhausted store, + Fain would I praise (if I like thee could praise) + Thy matchless virtues in congenial lays. + But, Ah! too weak, &c. &c. + +This apology, however, is like the _nolo episcopari_ of Bishops; +for our author continues his panegyric during about one hundred +and fifty lines more, after which he proceeds to a task (as he says) +more congenial to his abilities, and paints + + ------in smooth confectionary style, + The simpering sadness of his MULGRAVE’s smile. + +From the character of this nobleman we shall only select a part of +one couplet, which tends to elucidate our author’s astonishing powers +in imitative harmony, + + ------“within his lab’ring throat + The shrill shriek struggles with the harsh hoarse note.” + +As we mean to excite, and not to satisfy at once the curiosity of our +readers, we shall here put a period to our extracts for the present. +We cannot, however, conclude this essay, without observing, that there +are very few lines in the whole work which are at all inferior to +those we have selected for the entertainment of our readers. + +[1] See the Genealogy, p. xxvii, xxviii. + +[2] Lord Graham. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +In proof of the assurance with which we concluded our last number, +we shall now proceed to give the character of SIR RICHARD HILL. + +Our Readers, probably, are well acquainted with the worthy Baronet’s +promiscuous quotations from the Bible and Rochester; and they may +possibly remember (if they were awake, when they read them) some +elegant verses, which he repeated in the House of Commons, and +afterwards inserted in the public papers, as the production of a +sleepless Night. We know not, however, if they may so easily recal +to mind his remarkable declaration, both of his Loyalty and Religion, +in the prettily-turned phrase, “that indeed he loved King GEORGE +very well, but he loved King JESUS better.” But as our Poet has +alluded to it, we thought necessary to mention it; and for the same +reason to add, that like Lord MAHON, Major SCOTT, Mr. ATKINSON, +Mr. WILKES, and Captain J. LUTTRELL, he writes his own speeches for +the public Reporters. We should also have been happy to have enlivened +our commentary with some extracts from the controversy, at which our +Author glances; we mean the answer of Sir Richard to Mr. Madan, on the +doctrine of Polygamy; a subject, which the tenour of our Baronet’s +reading in his two favourite books, peculiarly qualified him to handle +with equally pleasantry and orthodoxy. But all our industry to procure +his pamphlet unfortunately proved ineffectual. We never saw more of it +than the title-page, which we formerly purchased in the lining of +a trunk, at the corner of St. Paul’s Church-yard. + +We are conscious, that these introductory explanations must seem +doubly dull, to Readers impatient for such exquisite poetry as +the ROLLIAD. They appeared, however, indispensible to the due +understanding of the verses, which we shall now give without +further preface. + + Brother of ROWLAND, or, if yet more dear + Sounds thy new title, Cousin of a Peer; + Scholar of various learning, good or evil, + Alike what God inspir’d, or what the Devil; + Speaker well skill’d, what no man hears, to write; + Sleep-giving Poet, of a sleepless night; + Polemic, Politician, Saint, and Wit, + Now lashing MADAN, now defending PITT; + Thy praise shall live till time itself be o’er, + Friend of King GEORGE, tho’ of King JESUS more! + +The solemnity of this opening is well suited to the dignity of +the occasion. The heroes of Homer generally address each other by +an appellative, marking their affinity to some illustrious personage. +The Grecian poet, it must be confessed, in such cases, uses a +patronymic, expressive of the genealogy; as _Pelides_, _Æacides_, +_Laertiades_; but it is not absolutely necessary to observe this +rule.--For, [1]M‘Pherson, a poet with whom our author is most likely to +be intimately acquainted, makes his hero, Fingal, address Ossian by +the title of “Father of Oscar.” It should seem therefore to be +sufficient, if in addressing a great man, you particularise any +celebrated character of the family who may be supposed to reflect +honour on his connections; and the Reverend ROWLAND HILL was certainly +the most celebrated of our worthy Baronet’s relations, before the +late creation of Lord BERWICK, on which the next line happily touches. + +Our author seems very fond of Mr. DUNDAS, + + Whose exalted soul + No bonds of vulgar prejudice controul. + Of shame unconscious in his bold career, + He spurns that honour, which the weak revere; + For, true to public Virtue’s patriot plan, + He loves _the Minister_, and not _the Man_; + Alike the advocate of NORTH and Wit, + The friend of SHELBURNE, and the guide of PITT, + His ready tongue with sophistries at will, + Can say, unsay, and be consistent still; + This day can censure, and the next retract, + In speech extol, and stigmatize in act; + Turn and re-turn; whole hours at HASTINGS bawl, + Defend, praise, thank, affront him, and recal. + By opposition, he his King shall court; + And damn the People’s cause by his support. + He, like some Angel sent to scourge mankind, + Shall deal forth plagues,--in charity design’d. + The West he would have starv’d; yet, ever good, + But meant to save the effusion of her blood: + And if, from fears of his Controul releast + He looses Rapine now, to spoil the East; + ’Tis but to fire another SYKES to plan + Some new starvation-scheme for Hindostan; + Secure, to make her flourish, as before, + More populous, by losing myriads more. + +Our author here seems to understand the famous starvation-scheme +of Mr. DUNDAS, as literally designed to produce an actual famine +in America, though undoubtedly from the most benevolent motives +imaginable. But this is contradicted by a [2]late writer, who appears +to be perfectly conversant with the language and purposes of our +present men in power. “Starvation (says he) is not synonymous +with famine; for Mr. Dundas most certainly could not intend to produce +a famine in America, which is the granary of the West-Indies, and of +a great part of Europe. The word Starvation (continues he) was +intended by Mr. Dundas to express a scheme of his own, by which he +meant to prevent the Americans from eating when they were hungry, +and had food within their reach; thereby insuring their reduction +without blood-shed.” However, both authors agree that Mr. Dundas +proposed to starve the Americans (whatever was to be the mode of +doing it) in mere compassion, to save them from the horrors of +throat-cutting. How finely too does the Poet trace the same charitable +disposition in the late measures of Mr. Dundas and his Colleagues +at the Board of Controul! Factious men have said, that the Indian +politics of the new Commissioners have a direct tendency, beyond any +former system, to encourage every kind of peculation and extortion. +But what kind Mr. Dundas would peculiarly wish to encourage, can admit +of no doubt, from his known partiality to starving--any body, +but himself. And how, indeed, can the prosperity of the East be +better consulted, than by some new starvation-scheme; such as was +contrived and executed by certain humane individuals in the year 1770, +with the most salutary event! For, notwithstanding one-third of +the inhabitants of Bengal were then swept away by the famine, +the province, in consequence, is now become more populous than ever. +This may a little disturb all vulgar notions of cause and effect; +but the writer above-mentioned proves the fact, by the testimony +of Major Scott. + +There are many more lines relating to Mr. Dundas. But as this +gentleman’s character is so perfectly understood by the public, +we shall rather select a short catalogue of some among the inferior +Ministerial Heroes, who have hitherto been less frequently described. + + DRAKE, whose cold rhetorick freezes in its course, + BANKS the precise, and fluent WILBERFORCE, + With either PHIPPS, a scribbling, prattling pair; + And VILLERS, comely, with the flaxen hair; + The gentle GRENVILLE’s ever-grinning Son, + And the dark brow of solemn HAMILTON. + +These miniatures, as we may call them, present us with very striking +likenesses of the living originals; most of whom are seen to as much +advantage in this small size, as they could possibly have been, +had they been taken at full length. How happy is the allusion to +Mr. DRAKE’s[3] well-known speech; which, in the metaphor of our poet, +we may style a beautiful icicle of the most transparent eloquence! +How just too, and yet how concise, is the description of the literary +and parliamentary talents, so equally possessed by Brother CHARLES +and Brother HARRY, as Lord Mulgrave affectionately calls them. +We must, however, observe, that in the Manuscript of the ROLLIAD, +obligingly communicated to us by the Author, the line appears to have +been first written, + + Resplendent PHIPPS who shines our lesser Bear; + +the noble head of this illustrious family having been called +the Great Bear. But this was corrected probably in consequence +of the Poet having discovered, like Mr. Herschel, that the splendor +which he long attributed to a single constellation, or (if we may +depart a little from critical nicety in our figure) to a single star, +in reality flowed from the united rays of two. We have nothing +further to add on this passage, only that the character of VILLERS +seems to be drawn after the Nireus of Homer; who, as the Commentators +remark, is celebrated in the catalogue of warriors, for the handsomest +man in the Grecian army, and is never mentioned again through the +whole twenty-four books of the Iliad. + +[1] Mr. M‘Pherson is said to be one of the principal writers on +the side of the present administration. + +[2] Key to Parliamentary Debates, published by Debrett. + +[3] “Behold, Sir, another feature of the procrastinating system. +Not so the Athenian Patriots--Sir, the Romans--Sir, I have lost +the clue of my argument--Sir, I will sit down.” + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +A new edition (being the nineteenth) of this universally admired poem +having been recently published, the ingenious author has taken that +opportunity to introduce some new lines on an occasion perfectly +congenial to his muse, and in the highest degree interesting to +the public, namely, the late Fast and Thanksgiving; together with +the famous discourse preached in celebration of that day by that +illustrious orator and divine, the Reverend Mr. SECRETARY +PRETTYMAN.--This episode, which is emphatically termed by himself in +his prefatory address to this last edition, his Episode Parsonic, +seems to have been written perfectly _con amore_, and is considered +by critics as one of the happiest effusions of the distinguished +genius from whose high-rapped fancy it originated. It consists of +nine-and-forty lines, of which, without farther exordium, we shall +submit the following extracts to the inspection, or, more properly +speaking, the admiration of our readers. He sets out with a most +spirited compliment to Dr. PRETTYMAN. The two first lines are +considered by critics, as the most successful example of the +alliterative ornament upon record. + + Prim Preacher, Prince of Priests, and [1]Prince’s Priest; + Pembroke’s pale pride--in PITT’s _præcordia_ plac’d. + --Thy merits all shall future ages scan, + And PRINCE be lost in PARSON PRETTYMAN. + +The beauty of the historical allusion to Prince Prettyman, need not +be pointed out to our readers; and the presage that the fame of this +Royal personage shall be lost and absorbed in the rising reputation +of the ingenious divine, is peculiarly happy and well turned. +The celebrated passage of Virgil, + + “Tu Marcellus eris:” + +is supposed to have been in the poet’s recollection at the moment +of his conceiving this passage--not that the + + “Oh miserande puer!” + +in the preceding line, is imagined to have excited any idea of Mr. +Pitt. + +Our author now pursues his hero to the pulpit, and there, in imitation +of Homer, who always takes the opportunity for giving a minute +description of his _personæ_, when they are on the very verge of +entering upon an engagement, he gives a laboured but animated detail +of the Doctor’s personal manners and deportment. Speaking of the +penetrating countenance for which the Doctor is distinguished, he +says, + + ARGUS could boast an hundred eyes, ’tis true, } + The DOCTOR looks an hundreds ways with two: } + Gimlets they are, and bore you through and through. } + +This is a very elegant and classic compliment, and shows clearly +what a decided advantage our Reverend Hero possesses over the +celebrated Οφθαλμοδουλος of antiquity. Addison is justly famous in the +literary world, for the judgment with which he selects and applies +familiar words to great occasions, as in the instances: + + ------“The great, the important day, + “_Big_ with the fate of Cato and of Rome.”-- + + “The sun grows _dim_ with age, &c. &c.” + +This is a very great beauty, for it fares with ideas, as with +individuals; we are the more interested in their fate, the better +we are acquainted with them. But how inferior is Addison in this +respect to our author? + + Gimlets they are, &c. + +There is not such a word in all Cato! How well-known and domestic +the image! How specific and forcible the application!--Our author +proceeds: Having described very accurately the style of the Doctor’s +hairdressing, and devoted ten beautiful lines to an eulogy upon +the brilliant on the little finger of his right hand, of which +he emphatically says: + + No veal putrescent, no dead whiting’s eye, + In the true water with this ring could vie; + +he breaks out into the following most inspirited and vigorous +apostrophe-- + + Oh! had you seen his lily, lily hand, + Stroke his spare cheek, and coax his snow-white band: + That adding force to all his powers of speech, + This the protector of his sacred breech; + That point the way to Heav’n’s cœlestial grace, + This keep his small-clothes in their proper place-- + Oh! how the comley preacher you had prais’d, + As now the right, and now the left he rais’d!!! + +Who does not perceive, in this description, as if before their eyes, +the thin figure of emaciated divinity, divided between religion +and decorum; anxious to produce some truths, and conceal others; +at once concerned for _fundamental_ points of various kinds; ever at +the _bottom_ of things--Who does not see this, and seeing, who does +not admire? The notes that accompany this excellent episode, contain +admirable instances of our author’s profound knowledge in all +the literature of our established religion; and we are sorry that +our plan will not suffer us to produce them, as a full and decisive +proof that his learning is perfectly on a level with his genius, +and his divinity quite equal to his poetry. + +[1] The Doctor is Chaplain to his Majesty.--He was bred at +Pembroke-hall in Cambridge. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +On Monday last, the twentieth edition of this incomparable poem +made its appearance: and we may safely venture to predict, that, +should it be followed by an hundred more, while the fertile and +inexhaustible genius of the author continues to enrich every new +edition with new beauties, they will not fail to run through, +with the same rapidity that the former have done; so universal +is the enthusiasm prevailing among the genuine lovers of poetry, +and all persons of acknowledged taste, with respect to this wonderful +and unparalleled production. + +What chiefly distinguishes this edition, and renders it peculiarly +interesting at the present moment, is the admirable description +contained in it of the newly-appointed India Board; in which the +characters of the members composing it are most happily, though +perhaps somewhat severely, contrasted with those to whom the same +high office had been allotted by a former administration. + +That the feelings of the public are in unison with those of our author +upon this occasion, is sufficiently apparent from the frequent +Panegyrics with which the public papers have of late been filled, +upon the characters of these distinguished personages. In truth, +the superiority of our present excellent administration over their +opponents, can in no instance be more clearly demonstrated, than by a +candid examination of the comparative merits of the persons appointed +by each of them to preside in this arduous and important department. + +Our author opens this comparison by the following elegant compliment +to the accomplished Nobleman whose situation, as Secretary of State, +entitles him to a priority of notice, as the eminence of his abilities +will ever ensure him a due superiority of weight in the deliberations +of the board. + + SYDNEY, whom all the pow’rs of rhetoric grace. + Consistent SYDNEY fills FITZWILLIAM’s place; + O, had by nature but proportion’d been + His strength of genius to his length of chin, + His mighty mind in some prodigious plan + At once with ease had reach’d to Indostan! + +The idea conveyed in these lines, of the possibility of a feature +in the human face extending to so prodigious a distance as the +East-Indies, has been objected to as some-what hyperbolical. But those +who are well acquainted with the person as well as the character of +the noble lord alluded to, and who are unquestionably the best judges +of the _extent_ of the compliment, will certainly be of a different +opinion. Neither indeed is the objection founded in truth, but must +have arisen merely from the passage not having been properly +understood. It by no means supposes his Lordship to have literally a +chin of such preposterous dimensions, as must be imagined for the +purpose of reaching to the East-Indies; but figuratively speaking, +only purports, that, if his Lordship’s mental, faculties are +co-extensive with that distinguished feature of his face, they may +readily embrace, and be competent to the consideration of the most +distant objects. The meaning of the author is so obvious, that this +cavil probably originated in wilful misapprehension, with a view of +detracting from the merit of one of the most beautiful passages in +the whole poem. + +What reader can refuse his admiration to the following lines, in which +the leading features of the characters are so justly, strongly, and +at the same time so concisely delineated? + + Acute observers, who with skilful ken + Descry the characters of public men, + Rejoice that pow’r and patronage should pass + From _jobbing_ MONTAGUE to _pure_ DUNDAS; + Exchange with pleasure, ELLIOT, LEW’SHAM, NORTH, + For MULGRAVE’s tried integrity and worth; + And all must own, that worth completely tried, + By turns experienc’d upon every side. + +How happy is the selection of epithets in these lines! How forcibly +descriptive of the character to which they are applied! In the same +strain he proceeds:-- + + Whate’er experience GREGORY might boast, + Say, is not WALSINGHAM himself a host? + His grateful countrymen, with joyful eyes, + From SACKVILLE’s ashes see this Phœnix rise: + Perhaps with all his master’s talents blest, + To save the East as he subdu’d the West. + +The historical allusion is here judiciously introduced; and the +pleasing prospect hinted at of the same happy issue attending our +affairs in the Eastern, that has already crowned them in the +Western world, must afford peculiar satisfaction to the feelings +of every British reader. + +The next character is most ingeniously described, but like a +former one, containing some _personal_ allusions, requires, in order +to be fully understood, a more intimate acquaintance with the exterior +qualifications of the gentleman in question, than can have fallen +to the lot of every reader. All who have had the pleasure of +seeing him, however, will immediately acknowledge the resemblance +of the portrait. + + See next advance, in knowing FLETCHER’s stead, + A youth, who boasts no common share of head; + What plenteous stores of knowledge may contain + The spacious tenement of GRENVILLE’s brain! + Nature, in all her dispensations wise, + Who form’d his head-piece of so vast a size, + Hath not, ’tis true, neglected to bestow + Its due proportion to the part below; + And hence we reason, that, to serve the state, + His top and bottom may have equal weight. + +Every reader will naturally conceive, that in the description of +the principal person of the board, the author has exerted the +whole force of his genius, and he will not find his expectations +disappointed; he has reserved him for the last, and has judiciously +evaded disgracing him by a comparison with any other, upon the +principle, no doubt, quoted from Mr. Theobald, by that excellent +critic, Martinus Scriblerus: + + “None but himself can be his parallel.” + DOUBLE FALSEHOOD. + +As he has drawn this character at considerable length, we shall +content ourselves with selecting some few of the most striking +passages, whatever may be the difficulty of selecting where almost +the whole is equally beautiful. The grandeur of the opening prepares +the mind for the sublime sensations suitable to the dignity of a +subject so exalted: + + Above the rest, majestically great, + Behold the infant Atlas of the state, + The matchless miracle of modern days, + In whom Britannia to the world displays + A sight to make surrounding nations stare; + A kingdom trusted to a school-boy’s care. + +It is to be observed to the credit of our author, that, although his +political principles are unquestionably favourable to the present +happy government, he does not scruple, with that boldness which +ever characterises real genius, to animadvert with freedom on persons +of the most elevated rank and station; and he has accordingly +interspersed his commendations of our favourite young Minister with +much excellent and reasonable counsel, fore-warning him of the dangers +to which he is by his situation exposed. After having mentioned his +introduction into public life, and concurred in that admirable +panegyric of his immaculate virtues, made in the House of Commons by +a noble Lord already celebrated in the poem, upon which he has the +following observation: + + ------As MULGRAVE, who so fit + To chaunt the praises of ingenious PITT? + The nymph unhackney’d and unknown abroad, + Is thus commended by the hackney’d bawd. + The dupe enraptur’d, views her fancied charms, + And clasps the maiden mischief to his arms, + Till dire disease reveals the truth too late: + O grant my country, Heav’n, a milder fate! + +he attends him to the high and distinguished station he now so ably +fills, and, in a nervous strain of manly eloquence, describes the +defects of character and conduct to which his situation, and the means +by which he came to it, render him peculiarly liable. The spirit of +the following lines is remarkable: + + Oft in one bosom may be found allied, + Excess of meanness, and excess of pride: + Oft may the Statesman, in St. Stephen’s brave, + Sink in St. James’s to an abject slave; + Erect and proud at Westminster, may fall + Prostrate and pitiful at Leadenhall; + In word a giant, though a dwarf in deed, + Be led by others while he seems to lead. + +He afterwards with great force describes the lamentable state of +humiliation into which he may fall from his present pinnacle of +greatness, by too great a subserviency to those from whom he has +derived it, and appeals to his pride in the following beautiful +exclamation: + + Shall CHATHAM’s offspring basely beg support, + Now from the India, now St. James’s court; + With pow’r admiring Senates to bewitch, + Now kiss a Monarch’s--now a Merchant’s breech; + And prove a pupil of St. Omer’s school, + Of either KINSON, AT. or JEN. the tool? + +Though cold and cautious criticism may perhaps stare at the boldness +of the concluding line, we will venture to pronounce it the most +masterly stroke of the sublime to be met with in this, or any other +poem. It may be justly said, as Mr. Pope has so happily expressed it-- + + “To snatch a grace beyond the reach of art.” + ESSAY ON CRITICISM. + +As we despair of offering any thing equal to this lofty flight of +genius to the reader of true taste, we shall conclude with +recommending to him the immediate perusal of the whole poem, and, in +the name of an admiring public, returning our heart-felt thanks to the +wonderful author of this invaluable work. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +In our two last numbers we were happy to give our readers the earliest +relish of those additional beauties, with which the nineteenth and +twentieth impressions of the ROLLIAD are enriched. And these +interpolations we doubt not have been sufficiently admired for their +intrinsic merit, even in their detached state, as we gave them. But +what superior satisfaction must they have afforded to those who have +read them in their proper places! They are parts of a whole, and as +such wonderfully improve the effect of the general design, by an +agreeable interruption of prosaic regularity. + +This may appear to some but a paradoxical kind of improvement, which +is subversive of order. It must be remembered, however, that the +descent of ROLLO to the night-cellar was undoubtedly suggested by the +descent of Æneas to hell in the Sixth Book of Virgil; and every +classical Critic knows what a noble contempt of order the Roman Poet +studiously displays in the review of his countrymen. From Romulus he +jumps at once to Augustus; gets back how he can to Numa; goes straight +forward to Brutus; takes a short run to Camillus; makes a long stride +to Julius Cæsar and Pompey; from Cato retreats again to the Gracchi +and the Scipios; and at last arrives in a beautiful zig-zag at +Marcellus, with whom he concludes. And this must be right, because it +is in Virgil. + +A similar confusion, therefore, has now been judiciously introduced by +our Author in the Sixth Book of the ROLLIAD. He first singles out some +of the great statesmen of the present age; then carries us to church, +to hear Dr. Prettyman preach before the Speaker and the pews; and next +shows us all that Mr. DUNDAS means to let the public know of the new +India Board;--that is to say, the Members of whom it is composed. He +now proceeds, where a dull genius would probably have begun, with an +accurate description of the House of Commons, preparatory to the +exhibition of Mr. ROLLE, and some other of our political heroes, on +that theatre of their glory. Maps of the country round Troy have been +drawn from the Iliad; and we doubt not, that a plan of St. Stephen’s +might now be delineated with the utmost accuracy from the ROLLIAD. + +Merlin first ushers Duke ROLLO into the LOBBY: marks the situation of +the two entrances; one in the front, the other communicating laterally +with the Court of Requests; and points out the topography of the +fire-place and the box, + + ------ ------ ------in which + Sits PEARSON, like a pagod in his niche; + The Gomgom PEARSON, whose sonorous lungs + With “Silence! Room there!” drown an hundred tongues. + +This passage is in the very spirit of prophecy, which delights to +represent things in the most lively manner. We not only see, but hear +Pearson in the execution of his office. The language, too, is truly +prophetic; unintelligible, perhaps, to those to whom it is addressed, +but perfectly clear, full, and forcible to those who live in the time +of the accomplishment. Duke ROLLO might reasonably be supposed to +stare at the barbarous words “_Pagod_” and “_Gomgom_;” but we, who +know one to signify an Indian Idol, and the other an Indian Instrument +of music, perceive at once the peculiar propriety with which such +images are applied to an officer of a House of Commons so completely +Indian as the present. A writer of less judgment would have contented +himself with comparing Pearson simply to a + + Statue in his niche-- + +and with calling him a Stentor, perhaps in the next line: but such +unappropriated similies and metaphors could not satisfy the nice taste +of our author. + +The description of the Lobby also furnishes an opportunity of +interspersing a passage of the tender kind, in praise of the Pomona +who attends there with oranges. Our poet calls her HUCSTERIA, and, by +a dexterous stroke of art, compares her to Shiptonia, whose amours +with ROLLO form the third and fourth books of the ROLLIAD. + + Behold the lovely wanton, kind and fair, + As bright SHIPTONIA, late thy amorous care! + Mark how her winning smiles, and ’witching eyes, + On yonder unfledg’d orator she tries! + Mark, with what grace she offers to his hand + The tempting orange, pride of China’s land! + +This gives rise to a panegyric on the medical virtues of oranges, and +an oblique censure on the indecent practice of our young Senators, who +come down drunk from the eating-room, to sleep in the gallery. + + O! take, wise youth, the’ Hesperian fruit, of use + Thy lungs to cherish with balsamic juice. + With this thy parch’d roof moisten; nor consume + Thy hours and guineas in the eating-room, + Till, full of claret, down with wild uproar + You reel, and, stretch’d along the gallery, snore. + +From this the poet naturally slides into a general caution against the +vice of drunkenness, which he more particularly enforces, by the +instance of Mr. PITT’s late peril, from the farmer at Wandsworth. + + Ah! think, what danger on debauch attends: + Let Pitt, once drunk, preach temp’rance to his friends; + How, as he wander’d darkling o’er the plain, + His reason drown’d in JENKINSON’s champaigne, + A rustic’s hand, but righteous fate withstood, + Had shed a Premier’s for a robber’s blood. + +We have been thus minute in tracing the transitions in this inimitable +passage, as they display, in a superior degree, the wonderful skill of +our poet, who could thus bring together an orange-girl, and the +present pure and immaculate Minister; a connection, which, it is more +than probable, few of our readers would in any wise have suspected. + + --------------Ex fumo dare lucem + Cogitat, ut speciosa dehinc miracula promat. + +From the Lobby we are next led into the several committee-rooms and +other offices adjoining; and among the rest, MERLIN, like a noble +Lord, whose diary was some time since printed, “takes occasion to +inspect the water-closets,” + + Where offerings, worthy of those altars, lie, + Speech, letter, narrative, remark, reply; + With dead-born taxes, innocent of ill, + With cancell’d clauses of the India bill: + There pious NORTHCOTE’s meek rebukes, and here + The labour’d nothings of the SCRUTINEER; + And reams on reams of tracts, that, without pain, + Incessant spring from SCOTT’s prolific brain. + Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own? + Turn then, my son, &c. &c. + +This passage will probably surprise many of our readers, who must have +discovered our author to be, as every good and wise man must be, +firmly attached to the present system. It was natural for Dante to +send his enemies to hell; but it seems strange that our poet should +place the writings of his own friends and fellow-labourers in a +water-closet. It has indeed been hinted to us, that it might arise from +envy, to find some of them better rewarded for their exertions in the +cause, than himself. But though great minds have sometimes been +subject to this passion, we cannot suppose it to have influenced the +author of the ROLLIAD in the present instance. For in that case we +doubt not he would have shown more tenderness to his fellow-sufferer, +the unfortunate Mr. NORTHCOTE, who, after sacrificing his time, +degrading his profession, and hazarding his ears twice or thrice every +week, for these two or three years past, has at length confessed his +patriotism weary of employing his talents for the good of his country, +without receiving the reward of his labours. To confess the truth, we +ourselves think the apparent singularity of the poet’s conduct on this +occasion, may be readily ascribed to that independence of superior +genius, which we noticed in our last number. We there remarked, with +what becoming freedom he spoke to the Minister himself; and in the +passage now before us, we may find traces of the same spirit, in the +allusions to the coal-tax, gauze-tax, and ribbon-tax, as well as the +unexampled alterations and corrections of the celebrated India-bill. +Why then should it appear extraordinary, that he should take the same +liberty with two or three brother-authors, which he had before taken +with their master; and without scruple intimate, what he and every one +else must think of their productions, notwithstanding he may possess +all possible charity for the good intention of their endeavours? + +We cannot dismiss these criticisms, without observing on the +concluding lines; how happily our author, here again, as before, by +the mention of Shiptonia, contrives to recal our attention to the +personages more immediately before us, MERLIN and DUKE ROLLO! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +We come now to the _Sanctum Sanctorum_, the Holy of Holies, where the +glory of political integrity shines visibly, since the shrine has been +purified from Lord J. CAVENDISH, Mr. FOLJAMBE, Sir C. BUNBURY, Mr. +COKE, Mr. BAKER, Major HARTLEY, and the rest of its pollutions. To +drop our metaphor, after making a minute survey of the Lobby, peeping +into the Eating-room, and inspecting the Water-closets, we are at +length admitted into the House itself. The transition here is +peculiarly grand and solemn. MERLIN, having corrected himself for +wasting so much time on insignificant objects, + + (Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own?) + +immediately directs the attention of Rollo to the doors of the house, +which are represented in the vision, as opening at that moment to +gratify the hero’s curiosity; then the prophet suddenly cries out, in +the language of ancient Religion, + + ------Procul, ô procul este profani! + + Turn then, my son, where to thy hallow’d eye + Yon doors unfold--Let none profane he nigh! + +It seems as if the poet, in the preceding descriptions, had purposely +stooped to amuse himself with the Gomgom Pearson, Hucsteria, Major +Scott, Mr. Northcote, and the Reverend author of the Scrutineer, that +he might rise again with the more striking dignity on this great +occasion. + +MERLIN now leads ROLLO to the centre of the House, + + Conventus trahit in medios, turbamque sonantem. + +He points out to him the gallery for strangers to sit in, and members +to sleep in; the bar below, and the clock above. Of the clock he +observes, + + When this shalt point, the hour of question come, + Mutes shall find voice, and Orators be dumb. + This, if in lengthen’d parle the night they pass, + Shall furnish still his opening to DUNDAS; + To PITT, when “hear-hims” flag, shall oft supply + The chear-trap trick of stale apology; + And, strange to tell! in Nature’s spite, provoke + Hot ARDEN once to blunder at a joke. + +The beauty of these lines will be instantly perceived by all who have +witnessed the debates; as they cannot but have remarked, how +perpetually “_the late hour of night_” occupies the exordiums of Mr. +DUNDAS, after eleven o’clock; and how frequently it is introduced by +Mr. PITT as a hint, for what is called _chearing_, whenever his +arguments and invectives are received by his young friends with the +unparliamentary compliment of sacred silence. The miracle of a jest +from Mr. ARDEN, happened on the occasion of some Resolutions having +passed between the hours of _six_ and _seven_ in the morning; for +which reason the Attorney-General facetiously contended, that they +were entitled to no respect, “as the house was then at _sixes_ and +_sevens_.” Any approximation to wit in debate, being perfectly unusual +with this gentleman, however entertaining his friends may think him in +private, our author very properly distinguishes this memorable attempt +by the same kind of admiration, with which poets commonly mention some +great prodigy--as for instance, of a cow’s speaking: + + ----pecudesque locutæ + Infandum! + +We hope none of our readers will attribute to us the most distant +intention of any invidious comparison. + +The table, mace, &c. are next described, but these we shall pass over +in silence, that we may get--where most who enter the House of Commons +wish to get--to the TREASURY-BENCH, + + Where sit the gowned clerks, by ancient rule, + This on a chair, and that upon a stool; + Where stands the well-pil’d table, cloth’d in green; + There on the left the TREASURY-BENCH is seen. + No sattin covering decks the’ unsightly boards; + No velvet cushion holds the youthful lords: + And claim illustrious Tails such small regard? + Ah! Tails too tender for a seat so hard. + +This passage touches on a subject of much offence to the young friends +of the minister; we mean the barbarous and Gothic appearance of the +benches in the House of Commons. The Treasury-bench itself looks no +better than a first form in one of our public schools: + + No sattin covering decks the’ unsightly boards, + No velvet cushion holds the youthful Lords. + +The above couplet states with much elegance the matter of complaint, +and glances with equal dexterity at the proper remedy. The composition +is then judiciously varied. The whole art of the poet is employed to +interest our passions in favour of the necessary reform, by +expostulatory interrogations and interjections the most affectingly +pathetic. And who can read the former, without feeling his sense of +national honour most deeply injured by the supposed indignity; or who +can read the latter, without melting into the most unfeigned +commiseration for the actual sufferings to which the youthful lords +are at present exposed? It must, doubtless, be a seasonable relief to +the minds of our readers, to be informed, that Mr. PITT (as it has +been said in some of the daily papers) means to propose, for one +article of his Parliamentary Reform, to cover the seats in general +with crimson sattin, and to decorate the Treasury-bench, in +particular, with cushions of crimson velvet; one of [1] extraordinary +dimensions being to be appropriated to Mr. W. GRENVILLE. + +The epithet “_tender_” in the last line we were at first disposed to +consider as merely synonymous with “_youthful_.” But a friend, to whom +we repeated the passage, suspected that the word might bear some more +emphatical sense; and this conjecture indeed seems to be established +beyond doubt, by the original reading in the manuscript, which, as we +before said, has been communicated to us, + + “Alas! that flesh, so late by pedants scarr’d, + Sore from the rod, should suffer seats so hard,” + +We give these verses, not as admitting any comparison with the text, +as it now stands, but merely by way of commentary, to illustrate the +poet’s meaning. + +From the Treasury-bench, we ascend one step to the INDIA-BENCH. + + “There too, in place advanc’d, as in command, + Above the beardless rulers of the land, + On a bare bench, alas! exalted sit, + The pillars of Prerogative and PITT; + Delights of Asia, ornaments of men, + Thy Sovereign’s Sovereigns, happy Hindostan.” + +The movement of these lines is, as the subject required, more elevated +than that of the preceding: yet the prevailing sentiment excited by +the description of the Treasury-bench, is artfully touched by our +author, as he passes, in the Hemistich, + + On a bare bench, alas!------ + +which is a beautiful imitation of Virgil’s + + ------Ah! filice in nudâ------ + +The pompous titles so liberally bestowed on the BENGAL SQUAD, as the +_pennyless hirelings_ of opposition affect to call them, are truly in +the Oriental taste; and we doubt not, but every friend to the present +happy government, will readily agree in the justice of stiling them +“pillars of prerogative and Pitt, delights of Asia, and ornaments of +man.” Neither, we are assured, can any man of any party object to the +last of their high dignities, “Sovereigns of the Sovereign of India;” +since the Company’s well-known sale of Shah Allum to his own Visier, +is an indisputable proof of their supremacy over the Great Mogul. + +As our author has been formerly accused of plagiarism, we must here in +candour confess, that he seems, in his description of the India-bench, +to have had an eye to Milton’s account of the devil’s throne; which, +however, we are told, much exceeded the possible splendour of any +India-bench, or even the magnificence of Mr. Hastings himself. + + High on a throne of royal slate, which far + Outshone the wealth of Orams, or of Ind; + Or where the gorgeous East, with lavish hand, + Show’rs on her King, barbaric pearl and gold; + Satan _exalted sate_.------ + +This concluding phrase, our readers will observe, is exactly and +literally copied by our author. It is also worthy of remark, that as +he calls the Bengal squad, + + The _Pillars_ of Prerogative and Pitt, + +So Milton calls Beelzebub, + + A _Pillar_ of State:------ + +Though, it is certain, that the expression here quoted may equally +have been suggested by one of the Persian titles[2], said to be +engraved on a seal of Mr. Hastings, where we find the Governor General +styled, “_Pillar_ of the Empire.” But we shall leave it to our readers +to determine, as they may think proper, on the most probable source of +the metaphor, whether it were in reality derived from Beelzebub or +Mr. Hastings. + +[1] For a description of this young gentleman’s person, from _top to +bottom_, see No. V. + +[2] The following is copied from the Morning Chronicle of October 5, +1784. + + Mr. HASTINGS’S PERSIAN TITLES, _as engraved upon a Seal._ + _A True Translation._ + Nabob Governor-General Hastings, _Saub_, + Pillar of the Empire, + The fortunate in War, Hero, + The most princely offspring of the Loins, + Of the King of the Universe, + The Defender of the Mahomedan Faith, + And Asylum of the World, &c. &c. &c. &c. + + _Translation of a Persian Inscription engraven on a large fine Ruby, + being the titles either given to or assumed by Mrs._ HASTINGS. + “Royal and Imperial Governess, + The elegance of the age, + The most exalted Bilkiss, + The Zobaide of the Palaces, + The most heroic Princess, + Ruby Marian Hastings, Sauby, &c. &c. + +N.B. With the Mussulmans, _Bilkiss_ signifies the person, called in +the Bible History the Queen of Sheba; and _Zobaide_ was a favourite +wife of Mahomed; and when they wish to pay the highest compliments to +a lady, they compare her to Bilkiss and Zobaide, who possessed the +most exalted beauty, and perfection of every kind. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +From the above general compliment to the India-bench, the poet, in the +person of Merlin, breaks out into the following animated apostrophe +to some of the principal among our Leadenhall-street Governors: + + All hail! ye virtuous patriots without blot, Rollo + The minor KINSON and the major SCOTT: + And thou of name uncouth to British ear, + From Norman smugglers sprung, LE MESURIER; + Hail SMITHS; and WRAXALL, unabash’d to talk, + Tho’ none will listen; hail too, CALL and PALK; + Thou, BARWEL, just and good, whose honour’d name, + Wide, as the Ganges rolls, shall live in fame, + Second to HASTINGS: and, VANSITTART, thou, + A second HASTINGS, if the Fates allow. + +The bold, but truly poetical apocope, by which the Messrs. At-kinson +and Jen-kinson, are called the two kinsons, is already familiar to the +public. The minor Kinson, or Kinson the less, is obviously Mr. +Atkinson; Mr. Jenkinson being confessedly greater than Mr. Atkinson, +or any other man, except One, in the kingdom.--The antithesis of the +Major Scott to the minor Kinson, seems to ascertain the sense of the +word Major, as signifying in this place the greater; it might mean +also the elder; or it might equally refer to the military rank of the +gentleman intended. This is a beautiful example of the figure so much +admired by the ancients under the name of the Paronomasia, or Pun. +They who recollect the light in which our author before represented +Major Scott, as a pamphleteer, fit only to furnish a water-closet, may +possibly wonder to find him here mentioned as THE GREATER SCOTT; but +whatever may be his literary talents, he must be acknowledged to be +truly great, and worthy of the conspicuous place here assigned him, if +we consider him in his capacity of agent to Mr. Hastings, and of +consequence chief manager of the Bengal Squad; and it must be +remembered, that this is the character in which he is here introduced. +The circumstance of Mr. Le Mesurier’s origin from Norman Smugglers, +has been erroneously supposed by some critics to be designed for a +reproach; but they could not possibly have fallen into this mistaste, +if they had for a moment reflected that it is addressed by MERLIN to +ROLLO, who was himself no more than a Norman pirate. Smuggling and +piracy in heroic times were not only esteemed not infamous, but +absolutely honourable. The Smiths, Call and Palk of our poet, resemble +the + + Alcandrumque, Haliumque, Noëmonaque, Prytanimque, + +of Homer and Virgil; who introduce those gallant warriors for the sake +of a smooth verse, and dispatch them at a stroke without the +distinction of a single epithet. Our poet too has more professedly +imitated Virgil in the lines respecting Mr. Vansittart, now a +candidate to succeed Mr. Hastings. + + ------And, VANSITTART, thou + A second HASTINGS, if the fates allow. + ------Si quâ fata aspera rumpas, + Tu Marcellus eris! + +The passage however is, as might be hoped from the genius of our +author, obviously improved in the imitation; as it involves a climax, +most happily expressed. Mr. Barwell has been panegyrized in the lines +immediately foregoing, as _second to Hastings_; but of Mr. Vansittart +it is prophesied, that he will be a _second Hastings_; second indeed +in time, but equal perhaps in the distinguishing merits of that great +and good man, in obedience to the Court of Directors, attention to the +interests of the Company in preference to his own, abstinence from +rapacity and extortion, justice and policy towards the princes, and +humanity to all the natives, of Hindostan. The ingenious turn on the +words _second to Hastings_, and a _second Hastings_, would have +furnished matter for whole pages to the Dionysius’s, Longinus’s, and +Quintilians of antiquity, though the affected delicacy of modern taste +may condemn it as quibble and jingle. + +The poet then hints at a most ingenious proposal for the embellishment +of the India-bench, according to the new plan of Parliamentary Reform; +not by fitting it up like the Treasury-bench, with velvet cushions, +but by erecting for the accommodation of the Leadenhall worthies, the +ivory bed, which was lately presented to her Majesty by Mrs. Hastings. + + O that for you, in Oriental state, + At ease reclin’d to watch the long debate, + Beneath the gallery’s pillar’d height were spread + (With the QUEEN’s leave) your WARREN’s ivory bed! + +The pannels of the gallery too, over the canopy of the bed, are to be +ornamented with suitable paintings, + + Above, In colours warm with mimic life, + The German husband of your WARREN’s wife + His rival deeds should blazon; and display. + In his blest rule, the glories of your sway. + +What singular propriety, what striking beauty must the reader of taste +immediately perceive in this choice of a painter to execute the +author’s design! It cannot be doubted but Mrs. Hastings would exert +all her own private and all Major Scott’s public influence with +_every_ branch of the Legislature, to obtain so illustrious a job for +the man to whose affection, or to whose want of affection, she owes +her present fortunes. The name of this artist is Imhoff; but though he +was once honoured with Royal Patronages he is now best remembered from +the circumstance by which our author has distinguished him, of his +former relation to Mrs. Hastings. + +Then follow the subjects of the paintings, which are selected with +the usual judgment of our poet. + + Here might the tribes of ROHILCUND expire, + And quench with blood their towns, that sink in fire; + The Begums there, of pow’r, of wealth forlorn, + With female cries their hapless fortune mourn. + Here, hardly rescu’d from his guard, CHEYT SING + Aghast should fly; there NUNDCOMAR should swing; + Happy for him! if he had borne to see + His country beggar’d of the last rupee; + Nor call’d those laws, O HASTINGS, on thy head, + Which, mock’d by thee, thy slaves alone should dread. + +These stories, we presume, are too public to require any explanation. +But if our readers should wish to be more particularly acquainted with +them, they will find them in the [1]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, +commonly called the Reports of the Select and Secret Committees, with +Appendixes of Letters, Minutes, and Narratives written by Mr. Hastings +himself. Or they may consult the History of Alexander the Great, +contained, in Major John Scott’s narrative of the administration of +Mr. Hastings. Though we would rather refer them to the latter work, as +in our opinion it is one of the most satisfactory defences ever +published; and proves to demonstration, that Mr. Hastings never +committed a single act of injustice or cruelty, but he constantly +obtained forty or fifty lacks for the Company or himself--That an +enquiry into past abuses is an impolitic order; because “much valuable +time must be lost, and much odium incurred by the attempt;” and +therefore Mr. Hastings of course ought not to have been censured at +all, unless he had been censured _before_ he had done any thing to +deserve it--That it was right for Mr. Hastings to keep up the good old +custom of receiving presents, in defiance of a positive law; because +his predecessors had received as large sums when they were authorized +by custom, and not prohibited by any law--That Mr. Hastings was +justified in disobeying the orders of the Directors, because he could +no otherwise have convinced the Country Powers of his superiority over +his Masters, which was, and is, absolutely necessary--that, though it +may be questioned if Nundcomar was legally condemned, it was proper to +execute him, in order to show the justice and impartiality of the +Judges in hanging the natives, whom they were sent especially to +protect--That a Treaty of Peace between two nations is of no force, if +you can get one of the individuals who officially signed it, to +consent to the infraction of it--together with many other positions, +equally just and novel, both in Ethics and Politics. + +But to return to our Poet. MERLIN now drops his apostrophe, and +eulogizes the India-bench in the third person for the blessings of Tea +and the Commutation Tax. The following passage will show our author to +be, probably, a much better Grocer than Mr. Pitt; and perhaps little +inferior to the Tea-Purchaser’s Guide. + + What tongue can tell the various kind of Tea? + Of Blacks and Greens, of Hyson and Bohea; + With Singlo, Congou, Pekoe, and Souchong: + Couslip the fragrant, Gun-powder the strong; + And more, all heathenish alike in name, + Of humbler some, and some of nobler fame. + +The prophet then compares the breakfasts of his own times with those +of ours: attributes to the former the intractable spirit of that age; +and from the latter fervently prays, like a loyal subject, for the +perfect accomplishment of their natural effects; that they may relax +the nerves of Englishmen into a proper state of submission to the +superior powers. We shall insert the lines at length. + + On mighty beef, bedew’d with potent ale, + Our Saxons, rous’d at early dawn, regale; + And hence a sturdy, bold, rebellious race, + Strength in the frame, and spirit in the face, + All sacred right of Sovereign Power defy, + For Freedom conquer, or for Freedom die. + Not so their sons, of manners more polite; + How would they sicken at the very sight! + O’er Chocolate’s rich froth, o’er Coffee’s fume, + Or Tea’s hot tide their noons shall they consume. + But chief, all sexes, every rank and age, + Scandal and Tea, more grateful, shall engage; + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish’d tables, or the casual stone. + Be _Bloom_ reduc’d; and PITT no more a foe, + Ev’n PITT, the favourite of the fair shall grow: + Be but _Mundungus_ cheap; on light and air + New burthens gladly shall our peasants bear, + And boil their peaceful kettles, gentle souls! + Contented,--if no tax be laid on coals. + Aid then, kind Providence, yon’ generous bench, + With copious draughts the thirsty realm to drench; + And oh! thy equal aid let PRESTON find, + With [2]_musty-sweet_ and _mouldy-fresh_ combin’d, + To palsy half our isles: ’till wan, and weak, + Each nerve unstrung, and bloodless every cheek, + Head answering head, and noddling thro’ the street. + The destin’d change of Britons is complete; + Things without will, like India’s feeble brood, + Or China’s shaking Mandarins of wood. + So may the Crown in native lustre shine, + And British Kings re-sume their right divine. + +We have been thus prolix in giving the whole of this quotation, as we +think it glances very finely at the true policy, why it is expedient +to encourage the universal consumption of an article, which some +factious people have called a pernicious luxury. And our readers, we +are persuaded, will agree with us, when we decidedly pronounce this as +good a defence of the Commutation Tax, as we have yet seen. + +We must observe however that our author is probably indebted to the +extensive information of Lord Sydney, for the hint of the following +couplet: + + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish’d tables, or the casual stone. + +The Secretary of State in the discussion of the abovementioned tax, +very ably calculated the great quantity of tea consumed under hedges +by vagrants, who have no houses; from which he most ingeniously argued +to the justice and equity of laying the impost on persons who +have houses, whether they consume it or not. + +We shall conclude this number, as the Poet concludes the subject, +with some animated verses on Mr. FOX and Mr. PITT. + + Crown the froth’d Porter, slay the fatted Ox, + And give the British meal to British Fox. + But for an Indian minister more fit, + Ten cups of purest Padrae pour for PITT, + Pure as himself; add sugar too and cream, + Sweet as his temper, bland as flows the stream + Of his smooth eloquence; then crisply nice + The muffin toast, or bread and butter slice, + Thin as his arguments, that mock the mind, + Gone, ere you taste,--no relish left behind. + Where beauteous Brighton overlooks the sea, + These be his joys: and STEELE shall make the Tea. + +How neat! how delicate! and how unexpected is the allusion in the +last couplet! These two lines alone include the substance of +whole columns, in the ministerial papers of last summer, on the sober, +the chaste, the virtuous, the edifying manner in which the +Immaculate Young Man passed the recess from public business; +not in riot and debauchery, not in gaming, not in attendance on +ladies, either modest or immodest, but in drinking Tea with Mr. +Steele, at the Castle in Brighthelmstone. Let future ages read and +admire! + +[1] We have the highest law authority for this title; as well as for +calling Mr. Hastings Alexander the Great. + +[2] The Tea-dealers assure us, that Mr. PRESTON’s _sweet_ and _fresh_ +Teas contain a great part of the _musty_ and _mouldy_ chests, which +the Trade rejected. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IX._ + +In every new edition of this incomparable poem, it has been the +invariable practice of the author, to take an opportunity of adverting +to such recent circumstances, as have occurred since the original +publication of it relative to any of the illustrious characters he has +celebrated. The public has lately been assured that, the Marquis of +Graham is elected Chancellor of the University of Glasgow, and has +presented that learned body with a complete set of the engravings of +Piranesi, an eminent Italian artist; of which we are happy to acquaint +the Dilettanti, a few remaining sets are to be purchased at +Mr. Alderman Boydell’s printshop, in Cheapside, price twelve pounds +twelve shillings each. An anecdote reflecting so much honour upon one +of the favourite characters of our author, could not pass unnoticed in +the ROLLIAD; and accordingly, in his last edition, we find the +following complimentary lines upon the subject: + + If right the Bard, whose numbers sweetly flow, + That all our knowledge is ourselves to know; + A sage like GRAHAM, can the world produce, + Who in full senate call’d himself a goose? + The admiring Commons, from the high-born youth, + With wonder heard this undisputed truth; + Exulting Glasgow claim’d him for her own, + And plac’d the prodigy on Learning’s throne. + +He then alludes to the magnificent present abovementioned, and +concludes in that happy vein of alliterative excellence, for which he +is so justly admired-- + + With gorgeous gifts from gen’rous GRAHAM grac’d, + Great Glasgow grows the granary of taste. + +Our readers will doubtless recollect, that this is not the first +tribute of applause paid to the distinguished merit of the +public-spirited young Nobleman in question. In the first edition of the +poem, his character was drawn at length, the many services he has +rendered his country were enumerated, and we have lately been assured by +our worthy friend and correspondent, Mr. Malcolm M’Gregor, the ingenious +author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir William Chambers, and other +valuable poems, that the following spirited verses, recording the +ever-memorable circumstance of his Lordship’s having procured for the +inhabitants of the Northern extremity of our Island, the inestimable +privilege of exempting their posteriors from those ignominious symbols +of slavery, vulgarly denominated breeches, are actually universally +repeated with enthusiasm, throughout every part of the highlands +of Scotland-- + + Thee, GRAHAM! thee, the frozen Chieftains bless, + Who feel thy bounties through their fav’rite dress; + By thee they view their rescued country clad + In the bleak honours of their long-lost plaid; + Thy patriot zeal has bar’d their parts behind + To the keen whistlings of the wintry wind; + While Lairds the dirk, while lasses bag-pipes prize, + And oat-meal cake the want of bread supplies; + The scurvy skin, while scaly scabs enrich, + While contact gives, and brimstone cures the itch, + Each breeze that blows upon those brawny parts, + Shall wake thy lov’d remembrance in their hearts; + And while they freshen from the Northern blast, + So long thy honour, name, and praise shall last. + +We need not call to the recollection of the classical reader, + + Dum juga montis aper, sluvios dum piscis amabit, + Semper honos, nomenque tuum laudesque manebunt. + +And the reader of taste will not hesitate to pronounce, that the copy +has much improved upon, and very far surpassed the original. In these +lines we also find the most striking instances of the beauties of +alliteration; and however some fastidious critics have affected to +undervalue this excellence, it is no small triumph to those of a +contrary sentiment to find, that next to our own incomparable author, +the most exalted genius of the present age, has not disdained to +borrow the assistance of this ornament, in many passages of the +beautiful dramatic treasure with which he has recently enriched the +stage. Is it necessary for us to add, that it is the new tragedy of +the Carmelite to which we allude?--A tragedy the beauties of which, we +will venture confidently to assert, will be admired and felt, when +those of Shakespeare, Dryden, Otway, Southerne, and Rowe, shall be no +longer held in estimation. As examples of alliterative beauty, we +shall select the following:-- + + The hand of heav’n hangs o’er me and my house, + To their untimely graves seven sons swept off. + +Again-- + + So much for tears--tho’ twenty years they flow, + They wear no channels in a widow’s cheek. + +The alternate alliteration of the second line, in this instance, +seems an improvement upon the art, to the whole merit of which +Mr. Cumberland is himself unquestionably entitled. + +Afterwards we read, + + ------Treasures hoarded up, + With carking care, and a long life of thrift. + +In addition to the alliterative merit, we cannot here fail to admire +the judiciously selected epithet of “_carking_;” and the two lines +immediately following, although no example of that merit, should not +be omitted: + + Now, without interest, or redemption swallow’d, + By the devouring bankrupt waves for ever. + +How striking is the comparison of the ocean, to a bankrupt swallowing +without interest or redemption, the property of his unfortunate +creditors! Where shall we find a simile of equal beauty, unless some +may possibly judge the following to be so, which is to be found in +another part of the same sublime work, of two persons weeping-- + + ------We will sit + Like fountain statues, face to face oppos’d, + And each to other tell our griefs in tears, + Yet neither utter word------ + +Our readers, we trust, will pardon our having been diverted from the +task we have undertaken, by the satisfaction of dwelling on a few of +the many beauties of this justly popular and universally admired +tragedy, which, in our humble opinion, infinitely surpasses every +other theatrical composition, being in truth an assemblage of every +possible dramatic excellence: nor do we believe, that any production, +whether of antient or modern date, can exhibit a more uncommon and +peculiar selection of language, a greater variety of surprising +incidents, a more rapid succession of extraordinary discoveries, a +more curious collection of descriptions, similies, metaphors, images, +storms, shipwrecks, challenges, and visions, or a more miscellaneous +and striking picture of the contending passions of love; hatred, +piety, madness, rage, jealousy, remorse, and hunger, than this +unparalleled performance presents to the admiration of the enraptured +spectator. Mr. Cumberland has been represented, perhaps unjustly, as +particularly jealous of the fame of his cotemporaries, but we are +persuaded he will not be offended when, in the ranks of modern +writers, we place him second only to the inimitable author of the +ROLLIAD. + +To return from the digression into which a subject so seducing has +involuntarily betrayed us. The reader will recollect, that in our last +we left MERLIN gratifying the curiosity of ROLLO, with a view of that +Assembly of which his Descendant is one day destined to become so +conspicuous an ornament. After having given the due preference to the +India-Bench, he proceeds to point out to him others of the most +distinguished supporters of the present virtuous administration. +Having already mentioned the most confidential friends of the +minister, he now introduces us to the acquaintance of an active young +Member, who has upon all occasions been pointedly severe upon the +noble Lord in the blue ribbon, and who is remarkable for never having +delivered his sentiments upon any subject, whether relating to the +East-Indies, the Reform of Parliament, or the Westminster Election, +without a copious dissertation upon the principles, causes, and +conduct of the American war. + + Lo! BEAYFOY rises, friend to soft repose; + Whose gentle accents prompt the house to dose: + His cadence just, a general sleep provokes, + Almost as quickly as SIR RICHARD’s jokes. + Thy slumbers, NORTH, he strives in vain to break, + When all are sleeping, thou would’st scarce awake; + Though from his lips severe invectives fell, + Sharp as the acid he delights to sell. + +In explanation of the last line, it may be, perhaps, necessary to +apprise our readers, that this accomplished orator, although the +elegance of his diction, and smoothness of his manner, partake rather +of the properties of oil, is in his commercial capacity, a dealer in +vinegar. The speaker alluded to, under the name of Sir Richard, is +probably the same whom our author, upon the former occasion, stiled-- + + Sleep-giving poet of a sleepless night. + +The limits of our plan will not allow us to enlarge upon the various +beauties with which this part of the work abounds; we cannot, however, +omit the pathetic description of the SPEAKER’s situation, nor the +admirable comparison of Lord MAHON preying on his patience, to the +vulture devouring the liver of Prometheus. The necessity of the +Speaker’s continuing in the chair while the House sits, naturally +reminds our author of his favourite Virgil: + + ------sedet æternumque sedebit + Infelix Theseus. + + There CORNEWELL sits, and, oh unhappy fate! + Must sit for ever through the long debate; + Save, when compell’d by Nature’s sovereign will, + Sometimes to empty, and sometimes to fill. + Painful pre-eminence! he hears, ’tis true, + FOX, NORTH, and BURKE, but hears SIR JOSEPH too. + +Then follows the simile-- + + Like sad PROMETHEUS, fasten’d to his rock, + In vain he looks for pity to the clock; + In vain the’ effects of strengthening porter tries, + And nods to BELLAMY for fresh supplies; + While vulture-like, the dire MAHON appears, + And, far more savage, rends his suff’ring ears. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER X._ + +Amongst the various pretensions to critical approbation, which are to +be found in the excellent and never-sufficiently to be admired +production, which is the object of these comments, there is one that +will strike the classical observer as peculiarly prominent and +praise-worthy:--namely, the uncommon ability shown by the author, in the +selection of his heroes. The _personæ_ that are introduced in the +course of this poem, are characters that speak for themselves. The +very mention of their names is a summons to approbation; and the +relation of their history, if given in detail, would prove nothing +more than a lengthened panegyric. Who that has heard of the names of a +Jenkinson, a Robinson, or a Dundas, has not in the same breath heard +also what they are? This is the secret of our author’s science and +excellence. It is this that enables him to omit the dull detail of +introductory explanation, and to fasten upon his business, if one may +use the expression, slap-dash and at once. + + Semper ad eventum festinat, et in medias res, + Non secus ac notas auditorum rapit. HOR. + +Homer himself yields, in this respect, to our author; for who would +not perceive the evident injustice done to the modern bard, if we were +to place the wisdom of an Ulysses on any competition with the +experience of a Pitt; to mention the bully Ajax, as half so genuine a +bully, as the bully Thurlow; if we were to look upon Nestor as having +a quarter of the interesting circumlocution of the ambiguous Nugent; +to consider Achilles as possessed of half the anger of a ROLLE; or to +suppose for a moment, that the famous ποδας-ωκυς of antiquity, could +run nearly so fast in a rage, as the member for Devon in a fright; to +conceive the yellow-haired Paris to have had half the beauty of the +ten times more yellow-haired Villiers; to look upon Agamemnon as in +any degree so dictatorial to his chiefs as the high-minded Richmond; +to consider the friendship of Patroclus, as possessed of a millionth +portion of the disinterested attachment of a Dundas; to have any +conception that the chosen band of Thessalian Myrmidons, were to be +any way compared, in point of implicit submission, to the still more +dextrously chosen band of the Minister in the British House of +Commons. Or--but there is no end to so invidious a comparison; and we +will not expose poor Homer, to the farther mortification of pursuing +it. + +MERLIN proceeds in his relation, and fixes upon an object that will +not, we believe, prove any disgrace to our author’s general judgment +of selection; namely, that worthy Baronet and universally admired wit, +Sir RICHARD HILL, of whom it may be truly said, + + ------Pariter pietate jocisque, + Egregius. + +He looks upon him as an individual meriting every distinction, and has +thought proper therefore, in the last edition of the ROLLIAD, though +the Baronet had been [1]slightly touched upon before, to enlarge what +was then said, into a more particular description. Speaking of Sir +Richard’s style of elocution, our author observes-- + + With quaint formality of sacred smut, + His rev’rend jokes see pious RICHARD cut. + Let meaner talents from the Bible draw + Their faith, their morals These, and Those their law! + His lively genius finds in holy writ + A richer mine of unsuspected wit. + What never Jew, what never Christian taught, + What never fir’d one sectary’s heated thought, + What not e’en [2]ROWLAND dream’d, he saw alone, + And to the wondering senate first made known; + How bright o’er mortal jokes the Scriptures shine + Resplendent Jest-book of bon-mots divine. + +This description will be readily felt, and we trust, not less +cordially admired, by all those who may have enjoyed the pleasure of +auricular evidence to Sir Richard’s oratory. The thought of converting +the Bible into a _jest book_, is, we believe, quite new; and not more +original in itself, than characteristically just in its application to +the speaker. We all know that Saul affected insanity for the sake of +religion, in the early periods of our holy faith; and why so great an +example should not be imitated in later times, we leave it to the +prophane to shew. + +We know not whether it is worth observing, that the eloquence of this +illustrious family is not confined to Sir Richard alone; but that his +brother inherits the same gift, and, if possible, in a greater degree. +It is said, there is an intention of divesting this latter gentleman +of his clerical robe, and bringing him into the senate, as the avowed +competitor of our modern Cromwell. If this happy event should luckily +take place, we shall literally see the observation then realized, that +the Ministry will give to their wicked enemies, on the other side of +the House, what they have so long wanted and deserved. + + “------A _Rowland_ for their _Oliver_.” + +This, however, by the way. Our author resumes his subject with the +following spirited apostrophe:-- + + Methinks I see him from the Bench arise, + His words all keenness, but all meek his eyes; + Define the good religion might produce, + Practise its highest excellence-abuse; + And with his tongue, that two-edg’d weapon, show, + At once the double worth of JOB and JOE. + +_Job_, as some of our more learned readers may know, is a book in the +Old Testament, and is used here _per synechdochen_, as a part for the +whole. Nothing can be more natural, than the preference given to this +book, on this occasion, as Sir Richard is well known in his speeches +to be so admirable an auxiliary to its precepts. The person of the +name of _Joe_, who has received so laconic a mention in the last line +of the above extract, will be recognized by the critical and the +intelligent, as the same individual who distinguished himself so +eminently in the sixteenth century, as a writer and a wit, namely, +Mr. Joseph Miller; a great genius, and an author, avowedly in the +highest estimation with our learned Baronet. + +The business of the composition goes on.--It is evident, however, +the poet was extremely averse to quit a subject upon which his +congenial talents reposed so kindly. He does not leave Sir Richard, +therefore, without the following finished and most high-wrought +compliment: + + With wit so various, piety so odd, + Quoting by turns from Miller and from God; + Shall no distinction wait thy honour’d name? + No lofty epithet transmit thy fame? + Forbid it wit, from mirth refin’d away! + Forbid it Scripture, which thou mak’st so gay! + SCIPIO, we know, was AFRICANUS call’d, + RICHARD styl’d LONG-SHANKS--CHARLES surnam’d the BALD; + Shall these for petty merits be renown’d, + And no proud phrase, with panegyric sound, + Swell thy short name, great HILL?--Here take thy due, + And hence be call’d the’ SCRIPTURAL KILLIGREW. + +The administration of baptism to adults, is quite consonant to +Sir Richard’s creed; and we are perfectly satisfied, there is not a +Member in the House of Commons that will not stand sponsor for him on +this honourable occasion. Should any one ask him in future,--Who gave +you that name? Sir Richard may fairly and truly reply, My Godfathers, +&c. and quote the whole of the lower assembly, as coming under that +description. + +MERLIN, led, as may easily be supposed, by sympathy of rank, talents, +and character, now pointed his wand to another worthy baronet, hardly +less worthy of distinction than the last personage himself, namely, +Sir JOSEPH MAWBEY. Of him the author sets out with saying, + + Let this, ye wise, be ever understood, + SIR JOSEPH is as witty as he’s good.-- + +Here, for the first time, the annotators upon this immortal poem, find +themselves compelled, in critical justice to own, that the author has +not kept entire pace with the original which he has affected to +imitate. The distich, of which the above is a parody, was composed by +the worthy hero of this part of the ROLLIAD, the amiable Sir Joseph +himself, and runs thus: + + Ye ladies, of your hearts beware: + SIR JOSEPH’s false as he is fair. + +How kind, and how discreet a caution! This couplet, independent of its +other merits, possesses a recommendation not frequently found in +poetry, the transcendant ornament of Truth. How far, indeed, +the falshood of this respectable individual has been displayed in his +gallantries, it is not the province of sober criticism to enquire. +We take up the assertion with a large comprehension, and with a +stricter eye to general character-- + + SIR JOSEPH’s false as he is fair.------ + +Is it necessary to challenge, what no one will be absurd enough to +give--a contradiction to so acknowledged a truth? Or is it necessary +to state to the fashionable reader, that whatever may be the degree of +Sir Joseph’s boasted falshood, it cannot surpass the fairness of +his complexion? The position, therefore, is what logicians call +convertible: nothing can equal his falshood but his fairness; +nothing his fairness but his falshood.--Incomparable! + +Proceeding to a description of his eloquence, he says, + + A sty of pigs, though all at once it squeaks, + Means not so much as MAWBEY when he speaks; + And his’try says, he never yet had bred + A pig with such a voice or such a head! + Except, indeed, when he essays to joke; + And then his wit is truly pig-in-poke. + +Describing Sir Joseph’s acquisitions as a scholar, the author adds, + + His various knowledge I will still maintain, + He is indeed a knowing man in grain. + +Some commentators have invidiously suggested, that the last line of +this couplet should be printed thus, + + He is indeed a knowing man-in grain: + +assigning as their reason, that the phrase in grain evidently alludes +to bran, with which Sir Joseph’s little grunting commonwealth is +supported; and for the discreet and prudent purchase of which our +worthy baronet is famous. + +Our author concludes his description of this great senator with +the following distich: + + Such adaptation ne’er was seen before, + His trade a hog is, and his wit--a boar. + +It has been proposed to us to amend the spelling: of the last word, +thus, _bore_; this improvement, however, as it was called, we reject +as a calumny. + +Where the beauty of a passage is pre-eminently striking as above, we +waste not criticism in useless efforts at emendation. + +The writer goes on. He tells you he cannot quit this history of wits, +without saying something of another individual; whom, however, he +describes as every way inferior to the two last-mentioned, but who, +nevertheless, possesses some pretensions to a place in the ROLLIAD. +The individual alluded to, is Mr. GEORGE SELWYN. The author describes +him as a man possessed of + + A plenteous magazine of retail wit + Vamp’d up at leisure for some future hit; + Cut for suppos’d occasions, like the trade, + Where old new things for every shape are made! + To this assortment, well prepar’d at home, + No human chance unfitted e’er can come; + No accident, however strange or queer, + But meets its ready well-kept comment here. + --The wary beavers thus their stores increase, + And spend their winter on their summer’s grease. + +The whole of the above description will doubtless remind the classic +reader of the following beautiful passage in the Tusculan Questions of +Cicero: _Nescio quomodo inhæret in mentibus quasi sæculorum_ quoddam +augurium futurorum--_idque in_ maximis ingeniis altissimisque animis +_existit maxime et apparet facillime_. This will easily account for +the system of previous fabrication so well known as the character of +Mr. Selwyn’s jokes. Speaking of an accident that befel this gentleman +in the _wars_, our author proceeds thus: + + Of old, when men from fevers made escape, + They sacrific’d a cock to ÆSCULAPE: + Thus, Love’s hot fever now for ever o’er, + The prey of amorous malady no more, + SELWYN remembers what his tutor taught, + That old examples ever should be sought! + And, gaily grateful, to his surgeon cries, + “I’ve given to you the Ancient Sacrifice.” + +The delicacy with which this historical incident is pourtrayed, +would of itself have been sufficient to transmit our author’s merit +to posterity: and with the above extract we shall finish the present +number of our commentaries. + +[1] See No. III. + +[2] The Reverend Rowland Hill, brother of Sir Richard. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XI._ + +The next person among the adherents of the Minister, whom MERLIN now +points out to the notice of ROLLO, is SIR SAMUEL HANNAY, Baronet, +a name recollected with great gratitude in the House: for there are +few Members in it to whom he has not been serviceable. This worthy +character indeed has done more to disprove Martial’s famous assertion, + + Non cuicunque datum est habere _nasum_, + +than any individual upon record. + +The author proceeds-- + + But why, my HANNAY, does the ling’ring Muse + The tribute of a line to thee refuse? + Say, what distinction most delights thine ear, + Or _Philo-Pill_, or _Philo-Minister?_ + Oh! may’st thou none of all thy titles lack, + Or Scot, or Statesman, Baronet or Quack; + For what is due to him, whose constant view is + _Preventing_ private, or a public _lues?_ + +Who, that read the above description, do not, during the first +impression of it, suppose that they see the worthy Baronet once more +the pride of front advertisements--once more dispensing disregard and +oblivion amongst all his competitors; and making your Leakes, your +Lockyers, and your Velnos, + + --Hide their diminish’d heads.-- + +In the passages which immediately follow, the poet goes on to +felicitate the community upon the probable advantages to be derived to +them from the junction of this illustrious personage with our +immaculate Minister. He divides his congratulations into two parts. +He first considers the consequence of the union, as they may affect +the body personal; and secondly, as they may concern the body politic. +Upon the former subject, he says, + + This famous pair, in happy league combin’d, + No risques shall man from wand’ring beauty find; + For, should not chaste example save from ill, + There’s still a refuge in the other’s pill. + +With a sketch equally brief and masterly as the above, he describes +his hopes on the other branch of his division. + + The body politic no more shall grieve + The motley stains that dire corruptions leave; + No dang’rous humours shall infest the state, + Nor _rotten Members_ hasten Britain’s fate. + +Our author who, notwithstanding his usual and characteristic gravity, +has yet not un-frequently an obvious tendency to the sportive, +condescends now to take notice of a rumour, which in these times had +been universally circulated, that Sir Samuel bad parted with his +specific, and disposed of it to a gentleman often mentioned, and +always with infinite and due respect, in the ROLLIAD, namely, +Mr. Dundas.--Upon this he addresses Sir Samuel with equal truth and +good-humour in the following couplet: + + Then shall thy med’cine boast its native bent, + Then spread its genuine blessing--_to prevent_. + +Our readers cannot but know, it was by the means of a nostrum, +emphatically called a _Specific_, that Mr. Dundas so long contrived to +prevent the constitutional lues of a _Parliamentary Reform_. The +author, however, does not profess, to give implicit credit to the fact +of Sir Samuel’s having ungratefully disposed of his favourite recipe, +the happy source of his livelihood and fame; the more so, as it +appears that Mr. Dundas had found the very word _specific_ sufficient +for protracting a dreadful political evil on the three several +instances of its application. Under this impression of the thing, +the poet strongly recommends Sir Samuel to go on in the prosecution +of his original profession, and thus expresses his wish upon +the occasion, with the correct transcript of which we shall close +the history of this great man: + + In those snug corners be thy skill display’d, + Where Nature’s tribute modestly is paid: + Or near fam’d Temple-bar may some good dame, } + Herself past sport, but yet a friend to game, } + Disperse thy bills, and eternize thy fame. } + +MERLIN now calls the attention of our hero to a man whom there is +little doubt this country will long remember, and still less, that +they will have abundant reason for so doing, namely, Mr. SECRETARY +ORDE. It may seem odd by what latent association our author was led to +appeal next to the Right Honourable Secretary, immediately after the +description of a Quack Doctor; but let it be recollected in the first +place, to the honour of Sir Samuel Hannay, that he is, perhaps, +the only man of his order that ever had a place in the British House +of Commons; and in the second, that there are some leading +circumstances in the character of Mr. Orde, which will intitle him to +rank under the very same description as the worthy Baronet himself. +We all know that the most famous of all physicians, _Le Medecin malgré +lui_, is represented by Moliere, as a mart who changes the seat of the +heart, and reverses the intire position of the vital parts of the +human body. Now let it be asked, has not Mr. Orde done this most +completely and effectually with respect to the general body of the +state? Has he not transferred the heart of the empire? Has he not +changed its circulation, and altered the situation of the vital part +of the whole, from the left to the right, from the one side to the +other, from Great Britain to Ireland?--Surely no one will deny this; +and therefore none will be now ignorant of the natural gradation of +thought, by which our author was led, from the contemplation of Sir +Samuel Hannay, to the character of Mr. Orde. + +We know not whether it be worth remarking, that the term _Le Medecin +malgré lui_, has been translated into English with the usual +incivility of that people to every thing foreign, by the uncourtly +phrase of _Mock Doctor_. We trust, however, that no one will think it +applicable in this interpretation to Mr. Orde, as it is pretty evident +he has displayed no mockery in his State Practices, but has performed +the character of Moliere’s _Medecin_, even beyond the notion of the +original; by having effected in sad and sober truth, to the full as +complete a change in the position of the _Cœur de l’Empire_, as the +lively fancy of the dramatist had imputed to his physician, with +respect to the human body, in mere speculative joke. + +With a great many apologies for so long a note, we proceed now to the +much more pleasant part of our duty--that of transcribing from this +excellent composition; and proceed to the description of Mr. Orde’s +person, which the poet commences thus: + + Tall and erect, unmeaning, mute, and pale, + O’er his blank face no gleams of thought prevail; + Wan as the man in classic story fam’d, + Who told old PRIAM that his Ilion flam’d; + Yet soon the time will come when speak he hall, + And at his voice another Ilion fall! + +The excellence of this description consists as that of a portrait +always must, in a most scrupulous and inveterate attention to +likeness.--Those who know the original, will not question the accuracy +of resemblance on this occasion. The idea conveyed in the last line, + + And at his voice another Ilion fall, + +is a spirited imitation of the _fuimus Troes, fuit Ilium_, of Virgil, +and a most statesmanlike anticipation of the future fate of England. + +The author now takes an opportunity of shewing the profundity of his +learning in British history. He goes on to say, + + CÆSAR, we know, with anxious effort try’d + To swell, with Britain’s name, his triumph’s pride: + Oft he essay’d, but still essay’d in vain; + Great in herself, she mock’d the menac’d chain. + But fruitless all--for what was CÆSAR’s sword + To thy all-conquering speeches, mighty ORDE!!! + +Our author cannot so far resist his classical propensity in this +place, as to refrain from the following allusion; which, however, must +be confessed at least, to be applied with justice. + + AMPHION’s lyre, they say, could raise a town; + ORDE’s elocution pulls a Nation down. + +He proceeds with equal spirit and erudition to another circumstance +in the earlier periods of English history, + + The lab’ring bosom of the teeming North + Long pour’d, in vain, her valiant offspring forth; + For GOTH or VANDAL, once on British shore, + Relax’d his nerve, and conquer’d states no more. + Not so the VANDAL of the modern time, + This latter offspring of the Northern clime; + He, with a breath, gives Britain’s wealth away, + And smiles, triumphant, o’er her setting ray. + +It will be necessary to observe here, that after much enquiry and very +laborious search, as to the birth-place of the Right Honourable +Secretary (for the honour of which, however difficult now to discover, +Hibernia’s cities will, doubtless, hereafter contend) we found that he +was born in NORTHUMBERLAND; which, added to other circumstances, +clearly establishes the applicability of the description of the word +_Goth_, &c. and particularly in the lines where he calls him the + + ------VANDAL of the modern time, + The latter offspring of the Northern clime. + +Having investigated, with an acumen and minuteness seldom incident to +genius, and very rarely met with in the sublimer poetry, all the +circumstances attending an event which he emphatically describes as +the _Revolution_ of seventeen hundred and eighty-five, he makes the +following address to the English: + + No more, ye English, high in classic pride, + The phrase uncouth of Ireland’s sons deride; + For say, ye wise, which most performs the fool, + Or he who _speaks_, or he who _acts_--a BULL. + +The Poet catches fire as he runs: + + --Poetica surgit + Tempestas. + +He approximates now to the magnificent, or perhaps more properly to +the _mania_ of Poetry, and like another Cassandra, begins to try his +skill at prophecy; like her he predicts truly, and like her, for the +present at least, is not, perhaps, very implicitly credited.--He +proceeds thus; + + Rapt into future times, the Muse surveys + The rip’ning; wonders of succeeding days: + Sees Albion prostrate, all her splendour gone! + In useless tears her pristine state bemoan; + Sees the fair sources of her pow’r and pride + In purer channels roll their golden tide; + Sees her at once of wealth and honour shorn, + No more the nations’ envy, but their scorn; + A sad example of capricious fate, + Portentous warning to the proud and great: + Sees Commerce quit her desolated isle, + And seek in other climes a kinder soil; + Sees fair Ierne rise from England’s flame, + And build on British ruin, Irish fame. + +The Poet in the above passage, is supposed to have had an eye to +Juno’s address to Æolus in the first book of the Æneid: + + Gens inimica mihi Tyrrhenum navigat æquor + _Ilium_ in _Italiam_ portans, _Victos_ que _Penates_. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XII._ + +Though we have at length nearly exhausted the beauties of that part +of our author’s work, in which the characters of the leading Members +of the House of Commons are so poetically and forcibly delineated; +we shall find, however, that the genius of the poet seems to receive +fresh vigour, as he approaches the period of his exertions, in the +illustrious Mr. ROLLE. What can be more sublime or picturesque than +the following description! + + Erect in person, see yon Knight advance, + With trusty ’Squire, who bears his shield and lance; + The Quixote HOWARD! Royal Windsor’s pride, + And Sancho Panca POWNEY by his side; + A monarch’s champion, with indignant frown, + And haughty mein, he casts his gauntlet down; + Majestic sits, and hears, devoid of dread, + The dire Phillippicks whizzing round his head. + Your venom’d shafts, ye sons of Faction spare; + However keen, they cannot enter there. + +And how well do these lines, immediately succeeding, describe +the manner of speaking, which characterizes an orator of such +considerable weight and authority: + + He speaks, he speaks! Sedition’s chiefs around, + With unfeign’d terror hear the solemn sound; + While little POWNEY chears with livelier note, + And shares his triumph in a silent vote. + +Some have ignorantly objected to this as an instance of that figure +for which a neighbouring kingdom is so generally celebrated, vulgarly +distinguished by the appellation of a _Bull_; erroneously conceiving a +silent vote to be incompatible with the vociferation here alluded to: +those, however, who have attended parliamentary debates, will inform +them, that numbers who most loudly exert themselves, in what is called +_chearing_ speakers, are not upon that account entitled to be +themselves considered as such.--Our author has indeed done injustice +to the worthy member in question, by classing him among the number of +mutes, he having uniformly taken a very active part in all debates +relating to the militia; of which truly constitutional body, he is a +most respectable Pillar, and one of the most conspicuous ornaments. + +It is unquestionably the highest praise we can bestow upon a member of +the British House of Commons, to say, that he is a faithful +representative of the people, and upon all occasions speaks the real +sentiments of his constituents; nor can an honest ambition to attain +the first dignities of the state, by honourable means, be ever imputed +to him as a crime. The following encomium, therefore, must be +acknowledged to have been justly merited by a noble Lord, whose +independent and disinterested conduct has drawn upon him the censures +of disappointed faction. + + The Noble CONVERT, Berwick’s honour’d choice, + That faithful echo of the people’s voice, + One day, to gain an Irish title glad, + For Fox he voted--so the people bad; + ’Mongst English Lords ambitious grown to sit, + Next day the people bade him vote for PITT: + To join the stream our Patriot, nothing loth, + By turns discreetly gave his voice to both. + +The title of Noble convert, which was bestowed upon his Lordship by a +Speaker of the degraded Whig faction, is here most judiciously adopted +by our Author, implying thereby that this denomination, intended, +no doubt, to convey a severe reproach, ought rather to be considered +as a subject of panegyric: this is turning the artillery of the enemy +against themselves-- + + “Neque lex est justior ulla, &c.” + +In the next character introduced, some persons may perhaps object to +the seeming impropriety of alluding to a bodily defect; especially one +which has been the consequence of a most cruel accident; but when it +is considered, that the mention of the personal imperfection is made +the vehicle of an elegant compliment to the superior qualifications of +the mind, this objection, though founded in liberality, will naturally +fall to the ground. + +The circumstance of one of the Representatives of the first city in +the world having lost his leg, while bathing in the sea, by the bite +of a shark, is well known; nor can the dexterity with which he avails +himself of the use of an artificial one, have escaped the observation +of those who have seen him in the House of Commons, any more than the +remarkable humility with which he is accustomed to introduce his very +pointed and important observations upon the matters in deliberation +before that august assembly. + + “One moment’s time might I presume to beg?” + Cries modest WATSON, on his wooden leg; + That leg, in which such wond’rous art is shown, + It almost seems to serve him like his own; + Oh! had the monster, who for breakfast eat + That luckless limb, his nobler noddle met, + The best of workmen, nor the best of wood, + Had scarce supply’d him with a head so good. + +To have asserted that neither the utmost extent of human skill, nor +the greatest perfection in the materials, could have been equal to an +undertaking so arduous, would have been a species of adulation so +fulsome, as to have shocked the known modesty of the worthy +magistrate; but the forcible manner in which the difficulty of +supplying so capital a loss is expressed, conveys, with the utmost +delicacy, a handsome, and, it must be confessed, a most justly merited +compliment to the Alderman’s abilities. + +The imitation of celebrated writers is recommended by Longinus, +and has, as our readers must have frequently observed, been practised +with great success, by our author; yet we cannot help thinking that +he has pushed the precept of this great critic somewhat too far, +in having condescended to copy, may we venture to say with so much +servility, a genius so much inferior to himself as Mr. Pope. We allude +to the following lines: + + Can I, NEWHAVEN, FERGUSON forget, + While Roman spirit charms, or Scottish wit? + MACDONALD, shining a refulgent star, + To light alike the senate and the bar; + And HARLEY, constant to support the throne, + Great follower of its interests and his own. + +The substitution of _Scottish_ for _Attic_, in the second line, is +unquestionably an improvement, since however Attic wit may have been +proverbial in ancient times, the natives of Scotland are so +confessedly distinguished among modern nations for this quality, that +the alteration certainly adds considerable force to the compliment. +But however happily and justly the characters are here described, +we cannot think this merit sufficient to counterbalance the objection +we have presumed to suggest, and which is principally founded upon the +extreme veneration and high respect we entertain for the genius +of our author. + +Mr. Addison has observed, that Virgil falls infinitely short of Homer +in the characters of his Epic Poem, both as to their variety and +novelty, but he could not with justice have said the same of the +author of the ROLLIAD; and we will venture to assert, that the single +book of this Poem, now under our consideration, is, in this respect, +superior to the whole, both of the Iliad and the Æneid together. +The characters succeed each other with a rapidity that scarcely allows +the reader time to admire and feel their several beauties. + + GALWAY and GIDEON, in themselves a host, + Of York and Coventry the splendid boast: + WHITBREAD and ONGLEY, pride of Bedford’s vale, + This fam’d for selling, that for saving ale; + And NANCY POULETT, as the morning fair, + Bright as the sun, but common as the air; + Inconstant nymph! who still with open arms, + To ev’ry Minister devotes her charms. + +But when the Poet comes to describe the character of the hero of his +work, the present Member for the county of Devon, whom MERLIN points +out to his illustrious ancestor, as uniting in himself all the Various +merits of the worthies whose excellencies he has recorded, he seems to +rise even above himself.--It is impossible to do justice to his +character, without transcribing the whole, which would exceed the +limits of our work; we shall therefore only give to our readers the +concluding lines, because they contain characteristic observations +upon other distinguished Members, most of whom have hitherto passed +unnoticed: + + In thee, my son, shall ev’ry virtue meet, + To form both senator and man complete: + A mind like WRAY’s, with stores of fancy fraught, + The wise Sir WATKIN’s vast extent of thought; + Old NUGENT’s style, sublime, yet ne’er obscure, + With BAMBER’s Grammar, as his conscience pure; + BRETT’s brilliant sallies, MARTIN’s sterling sense, + And GILBERT’s wit, that never gave offence: + Like WILKES, a zealot in his Sovereign’s cause, + Learn’d as MACDONALD in his country’s laws; + Acute as AUDREY, as Sir LLOYD polite, + As EASTWICKE lively, and as AMBLER bright. + +The justice of [1] the compliment to SIR CECIL WRAY, will not be +disputed by those who have been fortunate enough to have met with the +beautiful specimens of juvenile poetry, with which some of his friends +have lately indulged the public. + +Johannes Scriblerus, a lineal descendant of the learned and celebrated +Martinus, reads “Starling Martin’s sense,” alluding to that powerful +opponent of the detestable Coalition having recommended that a bird of +that species should be placed on the right of the Speaker’s chair, +after having been taught to repeat the word Coalition, in order to +remind the House of that disgraceful event, which had nearly +established an efficient and strong government in this country: to +which severe and admirable stroke of satire, the object of it clumsily +and uncivilly answered, that whilst that gentleman sat in the House, +he believed the Starling might be allowed to perform his office by +deputy. We have, however, ventured to differ from this great authority, +and shall continue to read, “Martin’s Sterling sense,” as well +because we are of opinion that these words are peculiarly applicable +to the gentleman alluded to, as that it does not appear probable our +author should have been willing to make his poem the vehicle of an +indecent sarcasm, upon a person of such eminent abilities. + +The compliment to Mr. B.G. in the comparison of the purity of his +language to the integrity of his conduct, is happily conceived; +but that to the ingenious Mr. Gilbert, the worthy Chairman of the +Committee of Supply, is above all praise, and will, we are persuaded, +notwithstanding the violence of party, by all sides be admitted to be +strictly just. + +[1] The characteristic of _Fancy_, which our Poet has attributed to +Sir Cecil, must not be misunderstood. It is a Fancy of the chastized +kind; distinguished for that elegant simplicity, which the French call +_naïveté_, and the Greeks αφελεια. We shall insert here two or three +of the shorter specimens. + + _To_ CÆLIA _(now Lady_ Wray) _on seeing her the 8th of August, 1776, + powdering her hair_ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don’t never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + + _To_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing, in consequence of a previous + Engagement, a Party to go a-fishing for White-Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing + You’ll come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + + _A Thought on_ NEW MILK _some Time toward the Spring of the Year + 1773._ + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar!--smooth as silk! + + _An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my Coals by peck, that we + May have ’em _fresh_ and _fresh_, d’ye see. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +After concluding the review of the Ministerialists with the young +Marcellus of the Poem, the illustrious Mr. ROLLE; our author directs +the attention of DUKE ROLLO to the Opposition-bench. He notices the +cautious silence of MERLIN relative to that side of the House, and +rather inquisitively asks the reason; on which the Philosopher +(a little unphilosophically, we must confess) throws himself into a +violent passion, and for a long time is wholly incapable of +articulating a syllable. This is a common situation in poets both +ancient and modern, as in Virgil and Milton; + + Ter conata loqui, &c. + Thrice he essay’d, and thrice in spight of scorn + Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth, &c. + +but we will venture to assert, that it was never painted in a manner +half so lively, as by the author of the ROLLIAD. + + Thrice he essay’d, but thrice in vain essay’d; + His tongue, throat, teeth, and lips, refus’d their aid: + Till now the stifled breath a passage broke; + He gasp’d, he gap’d--but not a word he spoke. + +How accurately, and learnedly, has the poet enumerated all the organs +of speech, which separately and jointly refuse to execute their +respective offices! How superior is this to the simply cleaving of the +tongue to the palate, the _Vox faucibus hæsit_ of Virgil. For as +Quintilian observes, a detail of particulars is infinitely better than +any general expression, however strong. Then the poor Prophet obtains +a little remission of his paroxysm; he begins to breathe +convulsively--_he gasped_; he opens his mouth to its utmost +extent--_he gaped_; our expectations are raised, and, alas! he still +continues unable to utter--_not a word he spoke_. Surely nothing can +be more natural in point of truth, than all the circumstances of this +inimitable description: nothing more artful in point of effect, than +the suspence and attention which it begets in the mind of the reader! + +At length, however, MERLIN recovers his voice; and breaks out into a +strain of most animated invective, infinitely superior to every thing +of the kind in Homer; though the old Grecian must be acknowledged not +to want spirit in the altercations, or scolding matches, of his heroes +and Gods. The Prophet begins, as a man in any great emotion always +must, at the middle of a verse; + + ------ ------ ------Tatterdemalions, + Scald miserables, Rascals and Rascalions, + Buffoons, Dependants, Parasites, Toad-eaters, + Knaves, Sharpers, Black-legs, Palmers, Coggers, Cheaters, + Scrubs, Vagrants, Beggars, Mumpers, Ragamuffins, + Rogues, Villains, Bravos, Desperados, Ruffians, + Thieves, Robbers, Cut-throats, &c. &c. &c. + +And in this manner he proceeds, with single appellatives of reproach, +for ten or twelve lines further; when, his virtuous indignation a +little subsiding, or his Dictionary failing, he becomes more +circumlocutory; as for instance, + + Burglarious Scoundrels, that again would steal + The PREMIER’s Plate, and CHANCELLOR’s Great Seal; + Of public Murderers, Patrons and Allies, + Hirelings of France, their country’s enemies, &c. + +which style he continues for more than twenty lines. + +We are truly sorry, that the boundaries of our plan would not allow us +to present our readers with the whole of this finished passage in +detail; as it furnishes an indisputable proof, that, however the Greek +language may have been celebrated for its copiousness, it must yield +in that respect to the English. For if we were to collect all the +terms of infamy bandied about[1], from Æschines to Demosthenes, and +from Demosthenes back again to Æschines; and if to these we should +add in Latin the whole torrent of calumny poured by Cicero on Antony +and Piso; though the ancient orators were tolerably fluent in this +kind of eloquence, they would, all together, be found to fall very +short of our poet, shackled as he is with rhyme, in the force no less +than the variety of his objurgatory epithets. At the same time it must +not be concealed, that he possessed one very considerable advantage in +the rich repositories of our ministerial newspapers. He has culled the +flowers, skimmed the cream, and extracted the very quintessence of +those elegant productions with equal industry and success. Indeed, +such of our readers as are conversant with the Morning Post and Public +Advertiser, the White-Hall, the St. James’s, and, in short, the +greater part of the evening prints, will immediately discover the +passage now before us to be little more than a cento. It is however +such a cento as indicates the man of genius, whom puny scribblers may +in vain endeavour to imitate in the NEW ROLLIADS. + +It is possible, MERLIN might even have gone on much longer: but he is +interrupted by one of those disturbances which frequently prevail in +the House of Commons. The confusion is finely described in the +following broken couplet: + + Spoke! Spoke!--Sir--Mr. Speaker--Order there! + I rise--spoke! Question! Question!--Chair! Chair! Chair! + +This incident is highly natural, and introduced with the greatest +judgment, as it gives another opportunity of exhibiting Mr. ROLLE, and +in a situation, where he always appears with conspicuous pre-eminence. + + Great ROLLO look’d, amaz’d; nor without fears, + His hands applied by instinct to his ears: + He look’d, and lo! amid the wild acclaim + Discern’d the future glory of his name; + O’er this new Babel of the noisy croud, + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + Him yet he heard, with thund’ring voice contend, + “Him first, him last, him midst, him without end.” + +This concluding line our author has condescended to borrow from +Milton; but how apposite and forcible is the application! How +emphatically does it express the noble perseverance with which the +Member for Devonshire has been known to persist on these occasions, +in opposition to the Speaker himself. + +ROLLO, however, is at length wearied, as the greatest admirers +of Mr. ROLLE have sometimes been, with the triumphs of his +illustrious descendant. + + But ROLLO, as he clos’d his ears before, + Now tired, averts his eyes to see no more. + Observant MERLIN, while he turn’d his head, + The lantern shifted, and the vision fled. + +To understand this last line, our reader must recollect, that though +the characters introduced in this vision are preternaturally endowed +with seeming powers of speech, yet the forms or shadows of them are +shewn by means of a magic lantern. + +Having now concluded our observations upon this part of the Poem--we +shall close them with remarking, that as our author evidently borrowed +the idea of this vision, in which the character of future times are +described, from Virgil, he has far surpassed his original; and as his +description of the present House of Commons, may not improbably have +called to his mind the Pandæmonium of Milton, we do not scruple to +assert, that in the execution of his design, that great master of the +sublime has fallen infinitely short of him. + +[1] More particularly in their two famous orations, which, are +entitled “_On the Crown._” + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +Our readers may possibly think, that verses enough have been already +devoted to the celebration of Mr. ROLLE; the Poet, however, is not of +the same opinion. To crown the whole, he now proceeds to commemorate +the column which is shortly to be erected on the spot, where the +Member for Devonshire formerly went to School, application having been +made to Parliament for leave to remove the school from its present +situation; and a motion being intended to follow, for appropriating a +sum of money to mark the scene and record the fact of Mr. ROLLE’s +education, for the satisfaction of posterity, who might otherwise have +been left in a state of uncertainty, whether this great man had any +education at all. + +MERLIN first shews ROLLO the school. The transition to this object +from the present House of Commons is easy and obvious. Indeed, the +striking similarity between the two visions is observed by ROLLO in +the following passage: + + The Hero sees, thick-swarming round the place, + In bloom of early youth, a busy race; + _Propria quæ maribus_, with barbarous sound, + _Syntax_ and _prosody_ his ear confound, + “And say (he cries), Interpreter of fate, + Oh! say, is this some jargon of debate? + What means the din, and what the scene? proclaim; + Is this another vision, or the same? + For trust me, Prophet, to my ears, my eyes, + A second House of Commons seems to rise.” + +MERLIN however rectifies the mistake of the good Duke: and points out +to him his great descendant, in the shape of a lubberly boy, as +remarkably mute on this occasion, as we lately found him in the House, + + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + +The flaggellation of Mr. ROLLE succeeds, which, as MERLIN informs +ROLLO, is his daily discipline. The sight of the rod, which the +Pædagogue flourishes with a degree of savage triumph over the exposed, +and bleeding youth, awakens all the feelings of the ancestor: + + Stay, monster, stay! he cries in hasty mood, + Throw that dire weapon down--behold my blood! + +We quote this couplet the rather, because it proves our author to be +as good a Critic as a Poet. For the last line is undoubtedly a new +reading of Virgil’s, + + Projice tela manu,--Sanguis meus! + +And how much more spirited is this interpretation, + + ------ ------ ------Behold my blood! + +than the commonly received construction of the Latin words, by which +they are made to signify simply, “O my son!” and that too with the +assistance of a poetical licence. There is not a better emendation in +all the Virgilius Restauratus of the learned Martinus Scriblerus. + +On the exclamation of ROLLO, which we have just quoted, the Prophet, +perceiving that he has moved his illustrious visitor a little too far, +administers every consolation, + + “Thy care dismiss (the Seer replied, and smil’d) + Tho’ rods awhile may weal the sacred child, + In vain ten thousand [1]BUSBIES should employ + Their pedant arts his genius to destroy; + In vain at either end thy ROLLE assail, + To learning proof alike at head and tail.” + +Accordingly this assurance has its proper effect in calming the mind +of the Duke. + +But the great topic of comfort, or we should rather say of exultation, +to him, is the prophecy of the column, with which MERLIN concludes his +speech: + + Where now he suffers, on this hallow’d land, + A Column, public Monument, shall stand: + And many a bard around the sculptur’d base, + In many a language his renown shall trace; + In French, Italian, Latin, and in Greek; + That all, whose curious search this spot shall seek, + May read, and reading tell at home, return’d, + How much great ROLLE was flogg’d, how little learn’d. + +What a noble, and what a just character of the great ROLLE is +contained in the last line! A mind tinctured with modern prejudices +may be at a loss to discover the compliment. But our author is a man +of erudition and draws his ideas from ancient learning, even where he +employs that learning, like [2]Erasmus and the admirable Creichton, +in praise of ignorance. Our classical readers, therefore, will see in +this portrait of Mr. ROLLE, the living resemblance of the ancient +Spartans; a people the pride of Greece, and admiration of the world, +who are peculiarly distinguished in history for their systematic +contempt of the fine arts, and the patience with which they taught +their children to bear floggings. + +The School now vanishes, and the Column rises, properly adorned with +the inscriptions, which the philosopher explains. But as we have been +favoured with correct copies of the inscriptions themselves, which +were selected from a much greater number composed by our universities, +we shall here desert our Poet, and present the public with the +originals. + +The two first are in Greek; and agreeably to the usual style of Greek +inscriptions, relate the plain fact in short and simple, but elegant +and forcible, phraseology. + + Ωδε το Ρητορικης δεινον ςτομα θαυμα τε Βυλης, + Πρωτα ΔΕΒΩΝΙΖΕΙΝ απεμανθανε παις ποτε ΡΩΛΛΟΣ. + +The word Δεβωνιζειν is not to be found in our Lexicons; but we +presume, that it means, “to speak the dialect of Devonshire;” from +Δεβωνια, which is Greek for Devonshire. Accordingly, we have so +rendered it in a translation, which we have attempted for the benefit +of the country gentlemen and the ladies. + + The senate’s wonder, ROLLE [3]of mighty tongue, + Here first his Devonshire unlearn’d when young. + +How simple, yet how full, is the expression of this distich! +How perfectly does it agree with the notion, which our poet has +inculcated, of Mr. ROLLE! He was employed at school not to learn but +to unlearn; his whole progress, was, like a crab’s, backward. + +There is a beauty in the Greek which it is impossible to preserve in +English; the word which we have translated “_unlearned_,” is in the +imperfect tense: and, in the nicety of that accurate language implies, +that the action was begun, but not completed; that Mr. ROLLE made some +proficiency in unlearning his Devonshire; but had not effectually +accomplished it during his stay at the school. + +The other Greek inscription has something more ingenious, from a +seeming paradox in the turn of it: + + Ουτνς ο μηποτε που τι μαθων προς μητινος, ωδε + Παις ποτε ΡΩΛΛΙΑΔΗΣ, οσσαπερ οιδ, εμαθεν. + + He, who to learning nothing owes, + Here ROLLE, a boy, learn’d all he knows. + +By which concluding word “_knows_,” we must certainly understand +acquired knowledge only; since Mr. ROLLE has been celebrated by our +Poet in the most unequivocal manner, as may be seen in the twelfth +number of our Criticisms, for his great natural faculties. The sense +of this last Epigram will then be merely, that the Member for +Devonshire had no particle of acquired knowledge; but is an +αυτοδιδακτος, a self-taught scholar, a character so much admired in +ancient times. The Latin inscription is as follows: + + Hic ferulæ, dextram, hîc, virgis cædenda magistri, + Nuda dedit patiens tergora ROLLIADES. + At non ROLLIADEN domuerunt verbera; non, quæ + Nescio quid gravius præmonuere, minæ, + Ah! quoties illum æqualis mirata corona est + Nec lacrymam in pænis rumpere, nec gemitum! + Ah! quoties, cum supplicio jam incumberet, ipsi + [4]Orbillo cecidit victa labore manus! + I, puer; I, forti tolerando pectore plagas, + Æmula ROLLIADÆ nomina disce sequi. + + Here to the ferule ROLLE his hand resign’d, + Here to the rod he bar’d the parts behind; + But him no stripes subdu’d, and him no fear + Of menac’d wrath in future more severe. + How oft the youthful circle wond’ring saw + That pain from him nor tear, nor groan could draw! + How oft, when still unmoved, he long’d to jerk, + The master’s wearied hand forsook the work! + Go, boy; and scorning rods, or ferules, aim + By equal worth to rival ROLLE in fame. + +The beauty of these lines, we presume, is too obvious to require any +comment. We will confidently affirm, that they record as glorious an +example of patience as any to be found in all the History of the +Flagellants, though the ingenious M. De Lolme has extended the subject +into a handsome Quarto. + +The Italian inscription is a kind of short dialogue, in which the +traveller is introduced, demanding the name of the person to whom +the pillar is erected. + + A chi si sta questa colonna? Al ROLLE; + Che di parlar apprese in questo loco + Greco e Latino nò, ma Inglese--un poco. + Basta così. Chi non sa il resto, è folle. + +This abrupt conclusion we think very fine. It has however been +censured as equivocal. Some critics have urged, that the same turn +has, in fact, been applied equally to men greatly famous and greatly +infamous; to Johannes Mirandula, and Colonel Chartres: and in the +present case, say these cavillers, it may be construed to signify +either that the rest is too well known to require repetition, or that +there is nothing more to be known. But the great character of +Mr. ROLLE will at once remove all ambiguity. + +The French inscription was furnished by Mr. ROLLE himself on the day +of his election. The idea was first expressed by him in English, +and then done into French verse by the [5] Dutch dancing master +at Exeter, to whom Mr. ROLLE is indebted for his extraordinary +proficiency in that science. + + Ne pouvoir point parler à mon chien je reproche; + Moi, j’acquis en ces lieux le don de la parole: + Je vais donc, & bien vite, à Londres par le coche, + Faire entendre au Senat, que je suis un vrai ROLLE. + +The _par le coche_ seems to be an addition of the Dancing-master, +who was certainly no very great Poet, as appears by his use of +feminine rhymes only, without any mixture of masculine: an +irregularity perfectly inadmissible, as all our polite readers must +know, in the nicety of French prosody. We shall subjoin for the +entertainment of our readers an inscription in the parish school at +Rouen, which was written about a century since on the original Rollo. + + Ici ROLLON fessé soir & matin, + Beaucoup souffrit, point n’apprit se Latin. + Aux fiers combats bien mieux joua son rôle: + Tuer des gens lui parut chose drôle. + Femme epousa, plus douce que satin, + Et, par bonheur, déjà veuve & catin; + D’elle reçut un fils & la v------le. + Ainsi, Lecteur, naquit le premier ROLLE! + +But to return to our author. After the vision of the column, MERLIN +proceeds in a short speech to intimate to ROLLO, that higher honours +may yet await his descendant in the House of Lords, + + Where ROLLE may be, what ROLLO was before. + +This, as may be naturally supposed, excites the curiosity of the Duke; +but MERLIN declares, that it is not permitted him to reveal the +glories of the Upper house. The hero must first fulfil his fates, +by mortally wounding the Saxon drummer, whom Providence shall inspire +in his last moments for this particular purpose. + + Ere yet thou know, what higher honours wait + Thy future race, accomplish them thy fate. + When now the bravest of our Saxon train + Beneath thy conquering arms shall press the plain; + What yet remains, his voice divine in death + Shall tell, and Heav’n for this shall lengthen out his breath. + +Which last line is most happily lengthened out into an Alexandrine, +to make the sound an echo to the sense. The pause too after the words +“shall tell,” finely marks the sudden catches and spasmodic efforts of +a dying man. Some extracts from the Drummer’s prophecies have already +been given to the public; and from these specimens of his loquacity +with a thurst in quarte through his lungs, our readers will probably +see the propriety with which the immediate hand of Heaven is here +introduced. The most rigid critic will not deny that here is truly the + + Dignus vindice nodus, + +which Horace requires to justify the interposition of a Divinity. + +We are now come to the concluding lines of the sixth book. Our readers +are probably acquainted with the commonly-received superstition +relative to the exit of Magicians, that they are carried away by +Devils. The poet has made exquisite use of this popular belief, though +he could not help returning in the last line to his favourite Virgil. +Classical observers will immediately perceive the allusion to + + ------Revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras + Hic labor, hoc opus est; + +in the description of ROLLO’s re-ascent from the night-cellar into +the open air. + +The Prophet foreseeing his instant end, + + “At once, farewel,” he said. But, as he said, + Like mortal bailiffs to the sight array’d, + Two fiends advancing seiz’d, and bore away + To their dark dens the much-resisting prey: + While ROLLO nimbly clamber’d in a fright, + Tho’ steep and difficult the way, to light. + +And thus ends the sixth book of the ROLLIAD; which we have chosen for +the subject of the FIRST PART of our CRITICISMS. In the second part, +which is now going on in the Morning-Herald, where the first draughts +of the present numbers were originally published, we shall pursue our +Commentary through the House of Peers; and in a third part, for which +we are now preparing and arranging materials, it is our intention to +present our readers with a series of anecdotes from the political +history of our ministry, which our author has artfully contrived to +interweave in his inimitable poem. + +And here, while we are closing this first Part, we cannot but +congratulate ourselves, that we have been the humble instruments of +first calling the attention of the learned to this wonderful effort of +modern genius, the fame of, which has already exceeded the limits of +this island, and perhaps may not be circumscribed by the present age; +which, we have the best reason to believe, will very shortly diffuse +the glory of our present Rulers in many and distant quarters of the +globe; and which may not improbably descend to exhibit them in their +true colours to remote posterity. That we indeed imagine our +Criticisms to have contributed very much to this great popularity of +the ROLLIAD, we will not attempt to conceal. And this persuasion shall +animate us to continue our endeavours with redoubled application, that +we may complete, as early as possible, the design, which we have some +time since formed to ourselves, and which we have now submitted to the +Public; happy, if that which is yet to come, be received with the same +degree of favour as this, which is now finished, so peculiarly +experienced even in its most imperfect condition. + + +[1] Dr. Busby, formerly master of Westminster school, was famous for +his consumption of birch. MERLIN uses his name here by the spirit of +prophecy. + +[2] Erasmus wrote an _Encomium of Folly_, with abundant wit and +learning. +For Creichton, see the Adventurer. + +[3] The literal English is “_vehement mouth of oratory._” + +[4] A great flogger of antiquity, + ------Memini quæ _plagosum_ mihi parvo + _Orbilium_ dictare. HOR. + +[5] Mynheer Hoppingen Van Caperagen, who soon after the publication of +our first authentic Edition, sent the following letter to Mr. Ridgway: + + D’Exeter, ce 18 Avril, 1785. + + “Je suis fort etonné. Monsieur, que vous ayez eu la hardiesse + d’admettre dans “_La Critique de la Rolliade_,” une accusation + contre moi qui n’est nullement fondée, et qui tend à me nuire dans + l’esprit de tous les amateurs des beaux arts. Sachez, Monsieur, que + je me suis donné la peine de traduire _mot à mot_ la célébré + inscription, de mon digne élève et protecteur, _Mr. Rolle_; que je + n’y ai rien ajouté, et que dans le vers où il est question _du + coche_, votre Critique n’auroit dû voir qu’une preuve de l’économie + de mon susdit _Mécene_. Quant aux rimes féminines que l’auteur me + reproche avec tant d’aigreur, je vous dirai qu’il n’y a rien de + _mâle_ dans l’esprit de Mr. _Rolle_, et que j’aurois blessé sa + delicatesse en m’y prenant autrement; d’ailleurs je me moque des + usages, et je ne veux pas que mes vers sautent à clochepied, comme + ceux des poëtes François, qui n’entendent rien à la danse. Je ne + doute pas que vous approuviez mon sentiment là-dessus, et que vous + me fassiez rendre justice sur l’objet de ma plainte: en attendant, + je vous prie de croire que je suis, avec le plus vif attachment, + Monsieur, votre très obeissant serviteur, + HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERAGEN.” + + +END OF PART THE FIRST. + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + +PART THE SECOND + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + +We have now followed our admirable author through the _Sixth Book_ of +his poem; very much to our own edification, and, we flatter ourselves, +no less to the satisfaction of our readers. We have shewn the art with +which he has introduced a description of the leading characters of our +present House of Commons, by a contrivance something similar indeed to +that employed by Virgil, but at the same time sufficiently unlike to +substantiate his own claim to originality. And surely every candid +critic will admit, that had he satisfied himself with the same device, +in order to panegyrize his favourites in the other House, he would +have been perfectly blameless. But to the writer of the ROLLIAD, it +was not sufficient to escape censure; he must extort our praise, and +excite our admiration. + +Our classical readers will recollect, that all Epic Heroes possess in +common with the poets who celebrate their actions, the gift of +_prophecy_; with this difference however, that poets prophecy while +they are in sound health, whereas the hero never begins to talk about +futurity, until he has received such a mortal wound in his lungs as +would prevent any man but a hero from talking at all: and it is +probably in allusion to this circumstance, that the power of +divination is distinguished in North Britain by the name of SECOND +SIGHT, as commencing when common vision ends. This faculty has been +attributed to dying warriors, both by _Homer_ and _Virgil_; but +neither of these poets have made so good use of it as our author, who +has introduced into the last dying speech of the Saxon Drummer, the +whole birth, parentage, and education, life, character, and behaviour, +of all those benefactors of their country, who at present adorn the +House of Peers, thereby conforming himself to modern usage, and at +the same time distinguishing the victorious Rollo’s prowess in +subduing an adversary, who dies infinitely harder than either Turnus +or Hector. + +Without farther comment, we shall now proceed to favour our readers +with a few extracts. The first Peer mentioned by the _Dying Drummer_, +is the present _Marquis of Buckingham_: his appearance is ushered in +by an elegant panegyric on his father, Mr. _George Grenville_, of +which we shall only give the concluding lines: + + _George_, in whose subtle brain, if Fame say true, + Full-fraught with wars, the fatal stamp-act grew; + Great financier! stupenduous calculator!-- + _But, George_ the son is _twenty-one times_ greater! + +It would require a volume, not only to point out all the merits of the +last line, but even to do justice to that Pindaric spirit, that abrupt +beauty, that graceful aberration from rigid grammatical contexts, +which appears in the single word _but_. We had however a further +intention in quoting this passage, viz. to assert our author’s claim +to the invention of that species of MORAL ARITHMETIC, which, by the +means of proper additions, subtractions, multiplications and +divisions, ascertains the relative merits of two characters more +correctly than any other mode of investigation hitherto invented. Lord +Thurlow, when he informed the House of Peers, that, “_one_ Hastings is +worth _twenty_ Macartneys,” had certainly the merit of ascertaining +the comparative value of the two men in _whole numbers_, and _without +a fraction_. He likewise enabled his auditors, by means of _the rule +of three_, to find out the numerical excellence of any other +individual; but to compare Lord Thurlow with our author, would be to +compare the scholar with the inventor; to compare a common +house-steward with _Euclid_ or _Archimedes_. We now return to the +poem. + +After the lines already quoted, our dying drummer breaks out into the +following wonderful apostrophe: + + Approach, ye sophs, who, in your northern den, + Wield, with both hands, your huge _didactic_ pen; + Who, step by step, o’er _Pindus_’ up-hill road, + Drag slowly on your learning’s pond’rous load: + Though many a shock your perilous march encumbers, + Ere the stiff prose can struggle into numbers; + And you, at _comets’ tails_, who fondly stare, + And find a mistress in the _lesser bear_; + And you, who, full with metaphysics fraught, + Detect sensation starting into thought, + And trace each sketch by Memory’s hand design’d + On that strange magic lantern call’d the MIND; + And you, who watch each loit’ring empire’s fate; + Who heap up fact on fact, and date on date; + Who count the threads that fill the mystic loom, + Where patient vengeance wove the fate of Rome; + Who tell that wealth unnerv’d her soldier’s hand, } + That Folly urg’d the fate by traitor’s plann’d; } + Or, that she fell--because she could not stand: } + Approach, and view, in this capacious mind, + Your scatter’d science in one mass combin’d: + Whate’er tradition tells, or poets sing, + Of giant-killing John, or John the King; + Whate’er------ + +But we are apprehensive that our zeal has already hurried us too far, +and that we have exceeded the just bounds of this paper. We shall +therefore take some future opportunity of reverting to the character +of this prodigious nobleman, who possesses, and deserves to possess, +so distinguished a share in his master’s confidence. Suffice it to +say, that our author does full justice to every part of his character. +He considers him as a walking warehouse of facts of all kinds, whether +relating to history, astronomy, metaphysics, heraldry, fortifications, +naval tactics, or midwifery; at the same time representing him as a +kind of haberdasher of small talents, which he retails to the female +part of his family, instructing them in the mystery of precedence, +the whole art of scented pomatums, the doctrine of salves for broken +heads, of putty for _broken windows_, &c. &c. &c. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +We now return to the dying drummer, whom we left in the middle of his +eulogy on the Marquis of Buckingham. + +It being admitted, that the powers of the human mind depend on the +number and association of our ideas, it is easy to shew that the +illustrious Marquis is entitled to the highest rank in the scale of +human intelligence. His mind possesses an unlimited power of +inglutition, and his ideas adhere to each other with such tenacity, +that whenever his memory is stimulated by any powerful interrogatory, +it not only discharges a full answer to that individual question, but +likewise such a prodigious flood of collateral knowledge, derived from +copious and repeated infusions, as no common skull would be capable of +containing. For these reasons, his Lordship’s fitness for the +department of the Admiralty, a department connected with the whole +cyclopœdia of science, and requiring the greatest variety of talents +and exertions, seems to be pointed out by the hand of Heaven;--it is +likewise pointed out by the dying drummer, who describes in the +following lines, the immediate cause of his nomination:-- + + On the great day, when Buckingham, by pairs + Ascended, Heaven impell’d, the K------’s back-stairs; + And panting breathless, strain’d his lungs to show + From Fox’s bill what mighty ills would flow: + That soon, _its source corrupt, Opinion’s thread, + On India’s deleterious streams wou’d shed_; + That Hastings, Munny Begum, Scott, must fall, + And Pitt, and Jenkinson, and Leadenhall; + Still, as with stammering tongue, he told his tale, + Unusual terrors Brunswick’s heart assail; + Wide starts his white wig from his royal ear, + And each particular hair stands stiff with fear, + +We flatter ourselves that few of our readers are so void of taste, +as not to feel the transcendant beauties of this description. First, +we see the noble Marquis mount the fatal steps “by pairs,” _i.e._ by +two at a time; and with a degree of effort and fatigue: and then he is +out of breath, which is perfectly natural. The obscurity of the third +couplet, an _obscurity_ which has been imitated by all the ministerial +writers on the India bill, arises from a confusion of metaphor, +so inexpressibly beautiful, that Mr. Hastings has thought fit to copy +it almost verbatum, in his celebrated letter from Lucknow. The effects +of terror on the royal wig, are happily imagined, and are infinitely +more sublime than the “_steteruntque comæ_” of the Roman poet; as the +attachment of a wig to its wearer, is obviously more generous and +disinterested than that of the person’s own hair, which naturally +participates in the good or ill fortune of the head on which it grows. +But to proceed.--Men in a fright are usually generous;--on that great +day, therefore, the Marquis obtained the promise of the Admiralty. +The dying drummer then proceeds to describe the Marquis’s well-known +vision, which he prefaces by a compliment on his Lordship’s +extraordinary proficiency in the art of lace-making. We have all +admired the parliamentary exertions of this great man, on every +subject that related to an art in which the county of Buckingham is so +deeply interested; an art, by means of which Britannia (as our author +happily expresses it) + + Puckers round naked breasts, a decent trimming, + Spreads the thread trade, and propagates old women! + +How naturally do we feel disposed to join with the dying drummer, in +the pathetic apostrophe which he addresses to his hero, when he +foresees that this attention will necessarily be diverted to other +objects:-- + + Alas! no longer round thy favorite STOWE, + Shalt thou the nicer arts to artists show, + No more on thumb-worn cushions deign to trace, + With critic touch, the texture of bone-lace; + And from severer toils, some moments robbing! + Reclaim the vagrant thread, or truant bobbin! + Far, other scenes of future glory rise, + To glad thy sleeping, and thy waking eyes; + As busy fancy paints the gaudy dream, + Ideal docks, with shadowy navies teem: + Whate’er on sea, on lake, or river floats, + Ships, barges, rafts, skiffs, tubs, flat-bottom’d boats, + Smiths, sailors, carpenters, in busy crowds, + Mast, cable, yard, sail, bow-sprit, anchor, shrowds, + Knives, gigs, harpoons, swords, handspikes, cutlass blades, + Guns, pistols, swivels, cannons, carronades: + All rise to view!--All blend in gorgeous show! + Tritons and tridents, turpentine, tar--tow! + +We will take upon ourselves to attest, that neither Homer nor Virgil +ever produced any thing like this. How amiable, how interesting, +is the condescension of the illustrious Marquis, while he assists the +old women in his neighbourhood in making bone-lace! How artfully is +the modest appearance of the aforesaid old women’s cushions (which we +are also told were dirty cushions) contrasted with the splendor and +magnificence of the subsequent vision! How masterly is the structure +of the last verse, and how nobly does the climax rise from tritons and +tridents--from objects which are rather picturesque than necessary--to +that most important article _tow_! an article “without which,” in +the opinion of Lord Mulgrave, “it would be impossible to fit out a +single ship.” + +The drummer is next led to investigate the different modes of +meliorating our navy; in the course of which he introduces the +Marquis’s private thoughts on _flax_ and _forest-trees_; the natural +history of _nettles_, with proofs of their excellence in making +cables; a project to produce _aurum fulminans_ from Pinchbeck’s metal, +instead of gold, occasioned by admiral Barrington’s complaint of bad +powder; a discussion of Lord Ferrers’s mathematical mode of +ship-building; and a lamentation on the pertinacity with which his +Lordship’s vessels have hitherto refused to sail. The grief of the +Marquis on this occasion, awaking all our sympathy-- + + Sighing, he struck his breast, and cried, “Alas! + Shall a three decker’s huge unwieldy mass, + ’Mid croud of foes, stand stupidly at bay, + And by rude force, like Ajax, gain the day? + No!--let Invention!------” + +And at the moment his Lordship becomes pregnant, and is delivered of +a project that solves every difficulty. + +The reader will recollect Commodore Johnstone’s discovery, that +“the aliquot parts being equal to the whole, two frigates are +indisputably tantamount to a line of battle-ship; nay, that they are +superior to it, as being more manageable.” Now, a sloop being more +docile than a frigate, and a cutter more versatile than a sloop, +&c. &c. is it not obvious that the _force_ of any vessel must be in an +inverse ratio to its _strength_? Hence, Lord Buckingham most properly +observes, + + Our light arm’d fleet will spread a general panic, + For speed is power, says Pinchbeck, the mechanic. + +The only objection to this system, is the trite professional idea, +that ships having been for some years past in the habit of sailing +directly forwards, must necessarily form and fight _in a straight +line_; but according to Lord Buckingham’s plan, the line of battle in +future is to be like the line of beauty, _waving_ and _tortuous_; so +that if the French, who confessedly are the most imitative people on +the earth, should wish to copy our manœuvres, their larger ships will +necessarily be thrown into confusion, and consequently be beaten. + +But as Sir Gregory Page Turner finely says, “infallibility is not +given to human nature.” Our prodigious Marquis, therefore, diffident +of his talents, and not yet satisfied with his plan, rakes into that +vast heap of knowledge, which he has collected from reading, and forms +into one _compost_, all the naval inventions of every age and country, +in order to meliorate and fertilize the colder genius of Great +Britain. “In future,” says the drummer, + + All ages, and all countries, shall combine, + To form our navy’s variegated line. + Like some vast whale, or all-devouring shark, + High in the midst shall rise old Noah’s _ark_: + Or, if that ark be lost, of equal bulk, + Our novel Noah rigs--the _Justice Hulk_: + An Argo next, the peerless Catherine sends, + The gorgeous gift of her _Mingrelian_ friends: + +Here we cannot repress our admiration at the drummer’s skill in +geography and politics. He not only tells us that _Mingrelia_ is the +ancient _Colchis_, the country visited by the Argonauts, the country +which was then so famous for its fleeces, and which even now sends so +many virgins to the Grand Seignior’s seraglio, but he foresees the +advantages that will be derived to the navy of this kingdom, by the +submission of his Mingrelian majesty to the Empress of Russia. +But to proceed: + + And next, at our Canadian brethren’s pray’r, + Ten stout _triremes_ the good pope shall spare! + +We apprehend, with all due submission to the drummer, that here is a +small mistake. Our Canadian brethren may indeed possess great +influence with the Pope, on account of their perseverance in the +Catholic religion; but as all the triremes in his holiness’s +possession are unfortunately in bass-relief and marble, we have some +doubt of their utility at sea. + + Light-arm’d _evaas_, canoes that seem to fly, + Our faithful _Oberea_ shall supply: + _Gallies_ shall Venice yield. Algiers, _xebecs_-- + But thou, Nanquin, gay _yachts_ with towering decks; + While fierce Kamtschatka------ + +But it is unnecessary to transcribe all the names of places mentioned +by our drummer in sailing eastward towards Cape Horn, and westward to +the Cape of Good Hope. We flatter ourselves that we have sufficiently +proved the stupendous and almost unnatural excellence of the new +Lord Buckingham; and that we have shewn the necessity of innovation in +the navy as well as in the constitution; we therefore shall conclude +this number, by expressing our hope and assurance, that the salutary +amputations which are meditated by the two state surgeons, Mr. Pitt, +and Mr. Wyvill, will speedily be followed by equally skilful +operations in our marine; and that the prophecy of the dying drummer +will be fulfilled in the completion of that delightful event--the +nomination of the noble Marquis to the department of the admiralty! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +Having concluded his description of the Marquis of Buckingham, +our expiring prophet proceeds to the contemplation of other glories, +hardly less resplendent than those of the noble Marquis himself. +He goes on to the DUKE of RICHMOND. + +In travelling round this wide world of virtue, for as such may the +mind of the noble Duke be described, it must be obvious to every one, +that the principal difficulty consists--in determining from what +quarter to set out; whether to commence in the _frigid zone_ of his +benevolence, or in the _torrid hemisphere_ of his loyalty; from the +_equinox_ of his œconomy, or from the _terra australis_ of his +patriotism. Our author feels himself reduced to the dilemma of the +famous _Archimedes_ in this case, though for a very different reason, +and exclaims violently for the Δος που στω, not because he has no +ground to stand upon, but because he has too much--because puzzled by +the variety, he feels an incapacity to make a selection. He represents +himself as being exactly in the situation of _Paris_ between the +different and contending charms of the three _Heathen Goddesses_, and +is equally at a loss on which to bestow his _detur pulcherimæ_. There +is indeed more beauty in this latter similitude than may at first view +appear to a careless and vulgar observer: the three goddesses in +question being, in all the leading points of their description, most +correctly typical of the noble Duke himself. As for example--_Minerva_, +we know, was produced out of the head of _Jove_, complete and perfect +at once. Thus the Duke of Richmond starts into the perfection of a +full-grown _engineer_, without the ceremony of gradual organization, +or the painful tediousness of progressive maturity.--_Juno_ was +particularly famed for an unceasing spirit of active persecution +against the bravest and most honourable men of antiquity. Col. +_Debbeige_, and some other individuals of modern time, might be +selected, to shew that the noble Duke is not in this respect without +some pretensions to sympathy with the queen of the skies.--_Venus_ +too, we all know, originated from _froth_. For resemblance in this +point, _vide_ the noble Duke’s admirable theories on the subject of +_parliamentary melioration_. + +Having stated these circumstances of embarrassment in a few +introductory lines to this part of the poem, our author goes on +to observe, that not knowing, after much and anxious thought, how to +adjust the important difficulty in question, he resolves at last to +trust himself entirely to the guidance of his muse, who, under the +influence of her usual inspiration, proceeds as follows: + + Hail thou, for either talent justly known, + To spend the nation’s cash--or keep thy own; + Expert alike to save, or be profuse, + As money goes for thine, or England’s use; + In whose esteem, of equal worth are thought, + A public million, and a private groat. + Hail, and--&c. + +_Longinus_, as the learned well know, reckons the figure +_Amplification_ amongst the principal sources of the sublime, as does +_Quintilian_ amongst the leading requisites of rhetoric. That it +constitutes the very soul of eloquence, is demonstrable from the +example of that sublimest of all orators, and profoundest of all +statesman, Mr. _William Pitt_. If no expedient had been devised, by +the help of which the _same_ idea could be invested in a thousand +different and glittering habiliments, by which _one_ small spark of +meaning could be inflated into a blaze of elocution, how many +delectable speeches would have been lost to the Senate of Great +Britain? How severe an injury would have been sustained to the +literary estimation of the age? The above admirable specimen of the +figure, however, adds to the other natural graces of it, the excellent +recommendation of strict and literal truth. The author proceeds to +describe the noble Duke’s uncommon popularity, and to represent, that +whatever be his employment, whether the gay business of the state, or +the serious occupation of amusement, his Grace is alike sure of the +approbation of his countrymen. + + Whether thy present vast ambition be + To check the rudeness of the’ intruding sea; + Or else, immerging in a _civil_ storm, + With equal wisdom to project--reform; + Whether thou go’st while summer suns prevail, + To enjoy the freshness of thy kitchen’s gale, + Where, unpolluted by luxurious heat, + Its large expanse affords a cool retreat; + Or should’st thou now, no more the theme of mirth, + Hail the great day that gave thy sov’reign birth, + With kind anticipating zeal prepare, + And make the _fourth_ of _June_ thy anxious care; + O! wheresoe’er thy hallow’d steps shall stray + Still, still, for thee, the grateful poor shall pray, + Since all the bounty which thy heart denies, + Drain’d by thy schemes, the _treasury_ supplies. + +The reference to the noble Duke’s kitchen, is a most exquisite +compliment to his Grace’s well-known and determined aversion to the +specious, popular, and prevailing vices of _eating_ and _drinking_; +and the four lines which follow, contain a no less admirable allusion +to the memorable witticism of his Grace (memorable for the subject of +it, as well as for the circumstance of its being the only known +instance of his Grace’s attempting to degrade himself into the +vulgarity of joke). + +When a minister was found in this country daring and wicked enough to +propose the suspension of a turnpike bill for one whole day, simply +for the reason, that he considered some little ceremony due to the +natal anniversary of the _highest_, and beyond all comparison, the +_best_ individual in the country; what was the noble Duke’s reply to +this frivolous pretence for the protraction of the national business? +“What care I,” said this great personage, with a noble warmth of +patriotic insolence, never yet attained by any of the present +timid-minded sons of faction, “What care I for the King’s birthday!--What +is such nonsense to me!” &c. &c. &c. It is true, indeed, times have been +a little changed since--but what of that! there is a solid truth in +the observation of Horace, which its tritism does not, nor cannot +destroy, and which the noble Duke, if he could read the original, +might with great truth, apply to himself and his sovereign: + + Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis. + +A great critic affirms, that the highest excellence of writing, and +particularly of poetical writing, consists in this one power--to +_surprise_. Surely this sensation was never more successfully excited, +than by the line in the above passage, when considered as addressed +to the Duke of Richmond-- + + Still, still, for thee, the _grateful poor_ shall pray! + +Our author, however, whose correct judgment suggested to him, that +even the sublimity of surprise was not to be obtained at the expence +of truth and probability, hastens to reconcile all contradictions, by +informing the reader, that the _treasury_ is to supply the sources of +the charity, on account of which the noble Duke is to be prayed for. + +The poet, with his usual philanthropy, proceeds to give a piece +of good advice to a person, with whom he does not appear at first +sight to have any natural connexion. He contrives, however, +even to make his seeming digression contribute to his purpose. +He addresses _Colonel Debbeige_ in the following goodnatured, +sublime and parental apostrophe-- + + Learn, thoughtless _Debbeige_, now no more a youth, + The woes unnumber’d that encompass truth. + Nor of experience, nor of knowledge vain, + Mock the chimæras of a sea-sick brain: + Oh, learn on happier terms with him to live, + Who ne’er knew _twice_, the weakness to forgive! + Then should his grace some vast expedient find, + To govern tempests, and controul the wind; + Should he, like great _Canute_, forbid the wave, + T’approach his presence, or his foot to lave; + Construct some bastion, or contrive some mound, + The world’s wide limits to encompass round; + Rear a redoubt, that to the stars should rise, + And lift himself, like Typhon, to the skies; + Or should the mightier scheme engage his soul, + To raise a platform on the _northern pole_, + With foss, with rampart, stick, and stone, and clay, + To build a breast-work on the _milky-way_, + Or to protect his sovereign’s blest abode, + Bid numerous batteries guard the _turnpike road_; + Lest foul Invasion in disguise approach, + Or Treason lurk within the _Dover_ coach. + Oh, let the wiser duty then be thine, + Thy skill, thy science, judgment to resign! + With patient ear, the high-wrapt tale attend, + Nor snarl at fancies which no skill can mend. + So shall thy comforts with thy days increase, + And all thy last, unlike thy first, be peace; + No rude _courts martial_ shall thy fame decry, + But half-pay plenty all thy wants supply. + +It is difficult to determine which part of the above passage possesses +the superior claim to our admiration, whether its science, its +resemblance, its benevolence, or its sublimity.--Each has its turn, +and each is distinguished by some of our author’s happiest touches. +The climax from the pole oft the heavens to the pole of a coach, and +from the milky-way to a turnpike road, is conceived and exprest with +admirable fancy and ability. The absurd story of the wooden horse in +Virgil, is indeed remotely parodied in the line, + + Or Treason lurk within the Dover coach, + +but with what accession of beauty, nature, and probability, we leave +judicious critics to determine. Indeed there is no other defence for +the passage alluded to in _Virgil_, but to suppose that the past +commentators upon it have been egregiously mistaken, and that this +famous _equus ligneus_, of which he speaks, was neither more nor less +than the _stage coach_ of antiquity. What, under any other +supposition, can be the meaning of the passage + + Aut hoc inclusi ligno occultantur _Achivi?_ + +Besides this, the term _machina_ we know is almost constantly used by +_Virgil_ himself as a synonyme for this horse, as in the line + + _Scandit fatalis_ machina _muros_, &c. + +And do we not see that those authentic records of modern literature, +the newspapers, are continually and daily announcing to us--“This day +sets off from the Blue-boar Inn, precisely at half past five, the Bath +and Bristol _machine_!” meaning thereby merely the _stage coaches_ to +Bath and to Bristol. Again, immediately after the line last quoted (to +wit, _scandit fatalis machina muros)_ come these words, + + _Fæta armis_, i.e. filled with _arms_. + +Now what can they possibly allude to, in the eye of sober judgment and +rational criticism, but the _guard_, or armed _watchman_, who, in +those days, went in the inside, or perhaps had a place in the _boot_, +and was employed, as in our modern conveyances, to protect the +passenger in his approximation to the metropolis. We trust the above +authorities will be deemed conclusive upon the subject; and indeed, to +say the truth, this idea does not occur to us now for the first time, +as in some hints for a few critical lucubrations intended as farther +_addenda_ to the _Virgilius Restauratus_ of the great Scriblerus, we +find this remark precisely:--“In our judgment, this horse (meaning +_Virgil_’s) may be very properly denominated--the DARDANIAN DILLY, or +the POST COACH to PERGAMUS.” + +We know not whether it be worth adding as a matter of mere fact, +that the great object of the noble Duke’s erections at Chatham, +which have not yet cost the nation a _million_, is simply and +exclusively this--to _enfilade_ the turnpike road, in case of a +foreign invasion. + +The poet goes on--he forms a scientific and interesting presage of +the noble Duke’s future greatness. + + With gorges, scaffolds, breaches, ditches, mines, + With culverins, whole and demi, and gabines; + With trench, with counterscarp, with esplanade, + With curtain, moat, and rhombo, and chamade; + With polygon, epaulement, hedge and bank, + With angle salient, and with angle flank: + Oh! thou shall prove, should all thy schemes prevail, + An UNCLE TOBY on a larger scale. + While dapper, daisy, prating, puffing JIM, + May haply personate good _Corporal Trim_. + +Every reader will anticipate us in the recollection, that the person +here honoured with our author’s distinction, by the abbreviated +appellative of _Jim_, can be no other than the Hon. James Luttrel +himself, surveyor-general to the ordnance, the famous friends, +defender, and _commis_ of the Duke of Richmond. The words _dapper_ and +_daisy_, in the last line of the above passage, approximate perhaps +more nearly to the familiarity of common life, than is usual with our +author; but it is to be observed in the defence of them, that our +language supplies no terms in any degree so peculiarly characteristic +of the object to whom they are addressed. As for the remaining part of +the line, to wit, “_prating, puffing Jim_,” it will require no +vindication or illustration with those who have heard this honourable +gentleman’s speeches in parliament, and who have read the subsequent +representations of them in the diurnal prints. + +Our immortal author, whose province it is to give poetical +construction, and _local habitation_ to the inspired effusions of the +_dying drummer_ (exactly as _Virgil_ did to the predictions of +_Anchises_), proceeds to finish the portrait exhibited in the above +passage by the following lines-- + + As like your _prototypes_ as pea to pea, + Save in the weakness of--_humanity_; + Congenial quite in every other part, + The same in _head_, but differing in the heart. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +We resume with great pleasure our critical lucubrations on that most +interesting part of this divine poem, which pourtrays the character, +and transmits to immortality the name of the _Duke of_ RICHMOND.--Our +author, who sometimes condescends to a casual imitation of ancient +writers, employs more than usual pains in the elaborate delineation of +this illustrious personage. Thus, in Virgil, we find whole pages +devoted to the description of _Æneas_, while _Glacus_ and +_Thersilochus_, like the _Luttrels_, the _Palkes_, or the _Macnamaras_ +of modern times, are honoured only with the transient distinction of a +simple mention. He proceeds to ridicule the superstition which exists +in this country, and, as he informs us, had also prevailed in one of +the most famous states of antiquity, that a navy could be any source +of security to a great empire, or that shipping could in any way be +considered as the _natural_ defence of an _island_. + + Th’ Athenian sages, once of old, ’tis said, + Urg’d by their country’s love--by wisdom led, + Besought the _Delphic_ oracle to show + What best should save them from the neighb’ring foe + --With holy fervor first the _priestess_ burn’d, + Then fraught with presage, this reply return’d: + “_Your city, men of Athens, ne’er will fall, + If wisely guarded by a_ WOODEN WALL.” + --Thus have our fathers indiscreetly thought, + By ancient practice--ancient safety taught, + That this, Great Britain, still should prove to thee + Thy first, thy best, thy last security; + That what in thee we find or great or good, + Had ow’d its being to this WALL of WOOD.-- + Above such weakness see great _Lenox_ soar, + This fence prescriptive guards us now no more + Of such gross ignorance asham’d and sick, + Richmond protects us with a _wall--of brick_; + Contemns the prejudice of former time, + And saves his countrymen by _lath_ and _lime_. + +It is our intention to embarrass this part of the _Rolliad_ as little +as possible with any commentaries of our own. We cannot, however, +resist the temptation which the occasion suggests, of pronouncing +a particular panegyric upon the delicacy as well as dexterity of our +author, who, in speaking upon the subject of the Duke of _Richmond_, +that is, upon a man who knows no more of the history, writings, +or languages of antiquity than the _Marquis of Lansdown_ himself, +or great _Rollo_’s groom, has yet contrived to collect a great portion +of his illustrations from the sources of ancient literature. By this +admirable expedient, the immediate ignorance of the hero is inveloped +and concealed in the vast erudition of the author, and the unhappy +truth that his Grace never proceeded farther in his _Latinity_, than +through the neat and simple pages of _Corderius_, is so far thrown +into the back ground as to be hardly observable, and to constitute no +essential blemish to the general brilliancy of the _picture_. + +The poet proceeds to speak of a tribunal which was instituted in the +_æra_ he is describing, for an investigation into the professional +merits of the noble Duke, and of which he himself was very properly +the head. The author mentions the individuals who composed this +inquisition, as men of _opulent, independent, disinterested_ +characters, three only excepted, whom he regrets as apostates to the +general character of the arbitrators. He speaks, however--such is the +omnipotence of truth--even of them, with a sort of reluctant tendency +to panegyric. He says, + + Keen without show, with modest learning, sly, + The subtle comment speaking in his eye; + Of manners polish’d, yet of stubborn soul, + Which Hope allures not--nor which fears control; + See _Burgoyne_ rapt in all a soldier’s pride, + Damn with a shrug, and with a look deride; + While coarse _Macbride_ a busier task assumes, + And tears with graceless rage our hero’s plumes; + Blunts his rude science in the _chieftain_’s face, + Nor deems--forgive him, _Pitt!_--a truth, disgrace: + And _Percy_ too, of lineage justly vain, + Surveys the system with a mild disdain. + +He consoles the reader, however, for the pain given him by the +contemplation of such weakness and injustice, by hastening to +inform him of the better and wiser dispositions of the other members +of the tribunal; + + --But ah! not so the rest--unlike to these, + They try each anxious blandishment to please; + No skill uncivil e’er from them escapes, + Their modest wisdom courts no dang’rous scrapes; + But pure regard comes glowing from the heart, + To take a friend’s--to take a master’s part; + Nor let Suspicion with her sneers convey, + That paltry Int’rest could with such bear sway. + Can _Richmond_’s brother be attach’d to gold? + Can _Luttrell_’s friendship, like a vote, be sold? + O can such petty, such ignoble crimes, + Stain the fair _æra_ of these golden times, + When _Pitt_ to all perfection points the way, + And pure _Dundas_ exemplifies his lay? + When _Wilkes_ to loyalty makes bold pretence, + _Arden_ to law, the _Cabinet_ to sense; + When _Prettyman_ affects for truth a zeal, + And _Macnamaras_ guard the common-weal; + When _lawyers_ argue from the holy writ, + And _Hill_ would vie with _Sheridan_ in wit; + When _Camden_, first of Whigs, in struggles past, + _Teiz’d_ and _tormented_ quits the cause at last; + When _Thurlow_ strives commercial skill to show, + And even _Sydney_ something seems to know; + When honest _Jack_ declines in men to trade, + And court majorities by truth are sway’d; + When _Baker, Conway, Cavendish, or Byng_, + No more an obloquy o’er senates fling; + When------ + +But where could a period be put to the enumeration of the _uncommon_ +appearances of the epoch in question?--The application of the term +_honest_, prefixed to the name of the person described in the last +line of the above passage but three, sufficiently circumscribes the +number of those particular _Jacks_ who were at this moment in the +contemplation of our author, and lets us with facility into the secret +that he could mean no other than the worthy Mr. _John Robinson_ +himself.--The peculiar species of traffic that the poet represents +Mr. Robinson to have dealt in, is supposed to allude to a famous +occurrence of these times, when Mr. R. and another contractor agreed, +in a ministerial emergency, to furnish government with _five hundred +and fifty-eight_ ready, willing, obedient, well-trained men, at so +much per head per man, whom they engaged to be _perfectly fit for +any work the minister could put them to_. Tradition says, they failed +in their contract by somewhat about _two hundred_.--We have not heard +of what particular complexion the first order were of, but suppose +them to have been _blacks_. + +We collect from history, that the noble Duke had been exposed to +much empty ridicule on account of his having been, as they termed it, +a judge in his own cause, by being the President of that Court, +whose exclusive jurisdiction it was to enquire into supposed official +errors imputed to himself. The author scouts the venom of those +impotent gibers, and with great triumph exclaims, + + If it be virtue but yourself to _know_, + Yourself to _judge_, is sure a virtue too. + +Nothing can be more obvious--all judgment depends upon knowledge; +and how can any other person be supposed to know a man so well as he +does himself? We hope soon to see this evidently equitable principle +of criminal jurisprudence fully established at the _Old Baily_; and we +are very much inclined to think, that if every _house-breaker, &c._ +was in like manner permitted to judge himself, the susceptible heart +would not be altogether so often shocked with spectacles of human +massacre before the gates of Newgate, as, to the great disgrace of our +penal system, it now is. + +Our author now proceeds to speak of a transaction which he seems +to touch upon with reluctance. It respects a young nobleman of these +times, of the name of _Rawdon_. It is very remarkable, that the last +couplet of this passage is printed with a scratch through the lines, +as if it had been the author’s intention to have erazed them. Whether +he thought the event alluded to in this distich was too disgraceful +for justification--or that the justification suggested was +incomplete--that the image contained in them was too familiar and +puerile for the general sublimity of his great poem, or whatever he +thought, we know not, but such is the fact. The passage is as +follows:--after relating the circumstance, he says + + Association forms the mind’s great chain, + By plastic union many a thought we gain, +[Struck-through: + (Thus _Raw_ suggested _Raw head_, and the _Don_, + Haply reminded him of _Bloody bone)_.] + +To the justice of the disgrace thrown upon the above couplet, we by +no means concede.--What it wants in poetical construction, it amply +makes up in the deep knowledge which it contains of the more latent +feelings of the human heart, and its philosophic detection of some of +the true sources of human action. We all know how long, and how +tenaciously, original prejudices stick by us. No man lives long enough +to get rid of his nursery. That the noble duke therefore might not +be free from the common influence of a very common sensation, no one +can reasonably wonder at, and the best proof that he was not so is, +that we defy any person to show us, upon what possible principle, +if not upon this, the conduct of the noble Duke, in the transaction +alluded to, is to be explained or defended. The Duke of Richmond--a +gentleman by a thousand pretensions--a soldier--a legislator--a +peer--in two countries a duke--in a third a prince--a man whose honour +is not a mere point of speculative courtesy, but is his +_oath_--impeaches the reputation of another individual of pure and +unblemished character; and with the same publicity that he had applied +the original imputation, this peer, prince, legislator, and soldier, +_eats_ every syllable he had said, and retracts every _item_ of his +charge. Is this to be credited without a resort to some principle of a +very paramount nature in the heart of man indeed? Is the original +depravity, in the first instance, of publicly attempting to sully the +fair honour of that interesting and sacred character, a youthful +soldier, or the meanness in the second, of an equally public and +unprecedentedly pusillanimous retraction of the whole of the calumny, +to be believed in so high a personage as the Duke of _Richmond_, +without a reference to a cause of a very peculiar kind, to an impulse +of more than ordinary potency? Evidently not.--And what is there, as +we have before observed, that adheres so closely, or controuls so +absolutely, as the legends of our boyish days, of the superstitions of +a nursery? For these reasons, therefore, we give our most decided +suffrage for the full re-establishment of the couplet to the fair +legitimate honours that are due to it. + +The poet concludes his portrait of this illustrious person, with the +following lines-- + + The triple honours that adorn his head, + A three-fold influence o’er his virtue shed; + As _Gallia_’s prince, behold him proud and vain; + Thrifty and close as _Caledonia_’s thane; + In _Richmond_’s duke, we trace our own JOHN BULL, + Of schemes enamour’d--and of schemes--the GULL. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +The author of the Rolliad has, in his last edition, introduced so +considerable an alteration, that we should hold ourselves inexcusable, +after the very favourable reception our commentaries have been +honoured with, in omitting to seize the earliest opportunity of +pointing it out to the public. + +Finding the variety and importance of the characters he is called upon +to describe, likely to demand a greater portion both of time and words +than an expiring man can be reasonably supposed to afford, instead of +leaving the whole description of that illustrious assembly, of which +the dying drummer has already delineated some of the principal +ornaments, to the same character, he has made an addition to the +vision in which the House of Commons is represented, at the conclusion +of the Sixth Book, by contriving that the lantern of Merlin should be +shifted in such a manner, as to display at once to the eager eye of +Rollo, the whole interior of the Upper House; to gain a seat in which +the hero immediately expresses a laudable impatience, as well as a +just indignation, on beholding persons, far less worthy than himself, +among those whom the late very numerous creations prevent our +calling-- + + ----_pauci--quos æquus amavit + Jupiter_-- + +With still less propriety, perhaps we should add-- + + --_Aut ardens evexit ad æthera virtus._ VIRG. + +The hero’s displeasure is thus forcibly described: + + Zounds! quoth great _Rollo_, with indignant frown, + ’Mid British nobles shall a base-born clown, + With air imperious ape a monarch’s nod, + Less fit to sit there than my groom, by G-d[1]? + +Longinus, in his chapter on interrogations, proves them to be a source +of the sublime. They are, indeed, says Dr. Young, the proper style of +majesty incensed. Where, therefore, can they be with more propriety +introduced, than from the mouth of our offended hero? Merlin, after +sympathizing with him in the justice of these feelings, proceeds to +a description of the august assembly they are viewing. The author’s +reverence for the religion of his country naturally disposes him first +to take notice of the spiritual lords of Parliament-- + + Yon rev’rend prelates, rob’d in sleeves of lawn, + Too meek to murmur, and too proud to fawn, + Who still submissive to their Maker’s nod, + Adore their sov’reign, and respect their God; + And wait, good men! all worldly things forgot, + In humble hope of Enoch’s happy lot. + +We apprehend that the fourth line, by an error in the press, the words +“adore and respect,” must have been misplaced; but our veneration for +our author will not permit us to hazard even the slightest alteration +of the text. The happy ambiguity of the word “Maker,” is truly +beautiful. + +We are sorry, however, to observe, that modern times afford some +instances of exceptions to the above description, as well as one +very distinguished one, indeed, to that which follows of the sixteen +Peers of Scotland:-- + + Alike in loyalty, alike in worth, + Behold the sixteen nobles of the north; + Fast friends to monarchy, yet sprung from those + Who basely sold their monarch to his foes; + Since which, atoning for their father’s crime, + The sons, as basely, sell themselves to him: + With ev’ry change prepar’d to change their note, + With ev’ry government prepar’d to vote, + Save when, perhaps, on some important bill, + They know, by second sight, the royal will; + With royal _Denbigh_ hearing birds that sing, + “Oppose the minister to please the king.” + +These last lines allude to a well authenticated anecdote, which +deserves to be recorded as an instance of the interference of divine +Providence in favour of this country, when her immediate destruction +was threatened by the memorable India bill, so happily rejected by +the House of Lords in the year 1783. + +The Earl of _Denbigh_, a Lord of his Majesty’s Bed-chamber, being +newly married, and solacing himself at his country-seat in the sweats +of matrimonial bliss, to his great astonishment heard, on a winter’s +evening, in the cold month of December, a nightingale singing in +the woods. Having listened with great attention to so extraordinary +a phœnomenon, it appeared to his Lordship that the bird distinctly +repeated the following significant words, in the same manner that +the bells of London admonished the celebrated Whittington, + + “Throw out the India bill; + Such is your master’s will.” + +His Lordship immediately communicated this singular circumstance +to the fair partner of his connubial joys, who, for the good of +her country, patriotically, though reluctantly, consented to forego +the newly tasted delights of wedlock, and permitted her beloved +bridegroom to set out for London, where his Lordship fortunately +arrived in time, to co-operate with the rest of his noble and +honourable brethren, the lords of the king’s bed-chamber, in defeating +that detestable measure; a measure calculated to effect the immediate +ruin of this country, by overthrowing the happy system of government +which has so long prevailed in our East-India territories.--After +having described the above-mentioned classes of nobility, he proceeds +to take notice of the admirable person who so worthily presides in +this august assembly:-- + + The rugged _Thurlow_, who with sullen scowl, + In surly mood, at friend and foe will growl; + Of proud prerogative, the stern support, + Defends the entrance of great _George_’s court + ’Gainst factious Whigs, lest they who stole the seal, + The sacred diadem itself should steal: + So have I seen near village butcher’s stall + (If things so great may be compar’d with small) + A mastiff guarding, on a market day, + With snarling vigilance, his master’s tray. + +The fact of a desperate and degraded faction having actually broken +into the dwelling-house of the Lord High Chancellor, and carried off +the great seal of England, is of equal notoriety and authenticity +with that of their having treacherously attempted, when in power, +to transfer the crown of Great-Britain from the head of our most +gracious sovereign to that of their ambitious leader, so justly +denominated the Cromwell of modern times. + +While our author is dwelling on events which every Englishman must +recollect with heart-felt satisfaction, he is naturally reminded of +that excellent nobleman, whose character he has, in the mouth of +the dying drummer, given more at large, and who bore so meritorious +a share in that happy revolution which restored to the sovereign of +these kingdoms the right of nominating his own servants; a right +exercised by every private gentleman in the choice of his butler, +cook, coachman, footman, &c. but which a powerful and wicked +aristocratic combination endeavoured to circumscribe in the monarch, +with respect to the appointment of ministers of state. Upon this +occasion he compares the noble Marquis to the pious hero of the Æneid, +and recollects the description of his conduct during the conflagration +of Troy; an alarming moment, not unaptly likened to that of the +Duke of Portland’s administration, when his Majesty, like king Priam, +had the misfortune of seeing + + ----_Medium in penctralibus hostem._ VIRG. + +The learned reader will bear in mind the description of Æneas:-- + + _Limen ærat, cæcoque fores, &c._ VIRG. + + When _Troy_ was burning, and the’ insulting foe + Had well-nigh laid her lofty bulwarks low, + The good Æneas, to avert her fate, + Sought _Priam_’s palace through a _postern_ gate: + Thus when the Whigs, a bold and factious band, + Had snatch’d the sceptre from their sovereign’s hand, + Up the _back-stairs_ the virtuous _Grenville_ sneaks, + To rid the closet of those worse than _Greeks_, + Whose impious tongues audaciously maintain, + That for their subjects, kings were born to reign. + +The abominable doctrines of the republican party are here held forth +in their genuine colours, to the detestation of all true lovers of +our happy constitution. The magician then thinks fit to endeavour to +pacify the hero’s indignation, which we before took notice of, +on seeing persons less worthy than himself preferred to the dignity +of peerage, by the mention of two of those newly created, whose +promotion equally reflects the highest honour upon government. + + _Lonsdale_ and _Camelford_ thrice honour’d names! + Whose god-like bosoms glow with patriot flames: + To serve his country, at her utmost need, + By this, behold a ship of war decreed; + While that, impell’d by all a convert’s zeal, + Devotes his borough to the public weal. + But still the wise their second thoughts prefer, + Thus both our patriots on these gifts demur; + Ere yet she’s launch’d the vessel runs aground, + And _Sarum_ sells for twice three thousand pound. + +The generous offers of those public-spirited noblemen, the one during +the administration of the Marquis of Landsdown, proposing to build +a seventy-four-gun ship, for the public service; the other on +Mr. Pitt’s motion for a parliamentary reform, against which he had +before not only voted, but written a pamphlet, declaring his readiness +to make a present of his burgage tenure borough of Old Sarum to the +bank of England, are too fresh in the recollection of their grateful +countrymen to need being here recorded. With respect, however, to the +subsequent sale of the borough for the “twice three thousand pounds,” +our author does not himself seem perfectly clear, since we afterwards +meet with these lines: + + Say, what gave _Camelford_ his wish’d-for rank? + Did he devote _Old Sarum_ to the Bank? + Or did he not, that envied rank to gain, + Transfer the victim to the Treas’ry’s fame? + +His character of the Earl of Lonsdale is too long to be here inserted, +but is perhaps one of the most finished parts of the whole poem: +we cannot, however, refrain from transcribing the four following +lines, on account of the peculiar happiness of their expression. The +reader will not forget the declaration of this great man, that he was +in possession of the land, the fire, and the water, of the town +of Whitehaven. + + E’en by the elements his pow’r confess’d, + Of mines and boroughs _Lonsdale_ stands possess’d; + And one sad servitude alike denotes + The slave that labours, and the slave that votes. + +Our paper now reminds us that it is time to close our observations +for the present, which we shall do with four lines added by our author +to the former part of the sixth book, in compliment to his favourite, +the Marquis of Graham, on his late happy marriage. + + With joy _Britannia_ sees her fav’rite goose + Fast bound and _pinion’d_ in the nuptial noose; + Presaging fondly from so fair a mate, + A brood of goslings, cackling in debate. + +[1] See Mr. Rolle’s speech in the parliamentary debates. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +Our _dying drummer_, in consequence of his extraordinary exertions in +delineating those exalted personages, the MARQUIS OF BUCKINGHAM and +DUKE OF RICHMOND; exertions which we think we may venture to pronounce +unparalleled by any one, drummer, or other, similarly circumstanced; +unfortunately found himself so debilitated, that we were very fearful, +like Balaam’s ass, LORD VALLETORT, or any other equally strange +animal, occasionally endowed with speech, his task being executed, +that his mouth would for ever after remain incapable of utterance. + +But though his powers might be suspended, fortunately the + + ----in æternam clauduntur lumina noctem, + +has, in consequence of the timely relaxation afforded to the wounded +gentleman during the whole of our last number, been for the present +avoided; and, like Mr. PITT’s question of parliamentary reform, +adjourned to a more _expedient moment_. + +To our drummer we might say, as well as to our matchless premier, + + Larga quidem DRANCE, semper tibi copia fandi, + +which, though, some malevolent critics might profligately translate + + “There is no end to thy prosing,” + +those who have read our drummer’s last dying words, or heard our +minister’s new made speeches, will admit to be in both instances +equally inapplicable. + +The natural powers of our author here again burst forth with such +renovated energy, that, like the swan, his music seems to increase +as his veins become drained. + +Alluding to an event too recent to require elucidation, after +describing the virtues of the most amiable personage in the kingdom, +and more particularly applauding her charity, which he says is so +unbounded, that it + + ------Surmounts dull Nature’s ties, + Nor even to WINCHELSEA a smile denies. + +He proceeds + + And thou too, LENOX! worthy of thy name! + Thou heir to RICHMOND, and to RICHMOND’s fame! + On equal terms, when BRUNSWICK deign’d to grace + The spurious offspring of the STUART race; + When thy rash arm design’d her favorite dead, + The christian triumph’d, and the mother fled: + No rage indignant shook her pious frame, + No partial doating swayed the saint-like dame; + But spurn’d and scorn’d where Honor’s sons resort, + Her friendship sooth’d thee, in thy monarch’s court. + +How much does this meek resignation, in respect to COLONEL LENOX, +appear superior to the pagan rage of MEZENTIUS towards ÆNEAS, +on somewhat of a similar occasion, when, instead of desiring him +to dance a minuet at the Etrurian court, he savagely, and of malice +prepense, hurls his spear at the foe of his son, madly exclaiming + + --Jam venio moriturus et hæc tibi porto + Dona prius. + +But our author excels Virgil, as much as the amiable qualities of +the great personage described, exceed those of MEZENTIUS: that august +character instead of dying, did not so much as faint; and so far +from hurling a spear at Mr. LENOX, she did not cast at him even +an angry glance. + + The christian triumph’d, &c. + +We are happy in noticing this line, and indeed the whole of the +passage, on another account, as it establishes the orthodoxy of the +drummer upon so firm a basis, that DR. HORSLEY himself could scarcely +object to his obtaining a seat in parliament. + +There is something so extremely ingenious in the following lines, +and they account too on such rational grounds for a partiality that +has puzzled so many able heads, that we cannot forbear transcribing +them. + +Apostrophizing the exalted personage before alluded to, he says, + + Early you read, nor did the advice deride, + Suspicion ne’er should taint a CÆSAR’s bride; + And who in spotless purity so fit + To guard an honest wife’s good fame, as PITT. + +The beautiful compliment here introduced to the chastity of our +immaculate premier, from the pen of such an author, must give him +the most supreme satisfaction. And + + O decus Italiæ virgo!!! + +Long mayst thou continue to deserve it!!! + +From treating of the minister’s virgin innocence, our author, by a +very unaccountable transition, proceeds to a family man, namely, +the modern MÆCENAS, the CENSOR MORUM, the ARBITER ELEGANTIARUM +of Great Britain; in a word, to the most illustrious JAMES CECIL +EARL OF SALISBURY, and lord chamberlain to his majesty, whom, +in a kind of episode he thus addresses, + + Oh! had the gods but kindly will’d it so + That thou had’st lived two hundred years ago: + Had’st thou then rul’d the stage, from sportive scorn + Thy prudent care had guarded peers unborn. + No simple chamberlains had libell’d been, + No OSTRICKS fool’d in SHAKESPEARE’s saucy scene. + +But then wisely recollecting this not to be altogether the most +friendly of wishes, in as much, that, if his lordship had been +chamberlain to QUEEN ELIZABETH, he could not, in the common course +of events, have been, as his honour SIR RICHARD PEPPER ARDEN most +sweetly sings in his PROBATIONARY ODE, + + “The tallest, fittest man to go before the king,” + +In the days of GEORGE THE THIRD; by which we should most probably +not only have been deprived of the attic entertainments of SIGNORS +DELPINI and CARNEVALE, but perhaps too have lost some of our best +dramatic writers; such as GREATHEAD, HAYLEY, DR. STRATFORD, and +TOMMY VAUGHAN: our author, with a sudden kind of repentance, says, + + But hence fond thoughts, nor be by passion hurried! + Had he then lived, he now were dead and buried. + Not now should theatres his orders own; + Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn. + +If we might be so presumptuous as to impute a fault to our author, +we should say that he is rather too fond of what the French style +_equivoque_.--This partiality of his breaks forth in a variety of +places; such as SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY being + + ------a knowing man in _grain_, + ------MARTIN’s _sterling_ sense, &c. &c. + +In the present instance too, where, supposing the noble Marquis +to have lived two hundred years ago, he says, + + “Not now should theatres his _orders_ own.” + +He leaves us completely in the dark, whether by the word _orders_, +we are to understand his lordship’s commands as _theatrical +anatomist_, or the _recommendations_, which he is pleased to make to +the managers of our public amusements, to admit his dependants and +servants gratuitously; and which recommendations in the vulgar tongue +of the theatres are technically styled _orders_. If we might hazard +an opinion, from the known condescension of his lordship, and his +attention to the accommodation of his inferiors, we should be inclined +to construe it in the latter sense; an attention, indeed, which, +in the case in question, is said to be so unbounded, that he might +exclaim with ÆNEAS + + Nemo ex hoc numero mihi non donatus abibit. + +Should any caviler here object, that for every five shillings thus +generously bestowed on the dependant, a proportionate _vacuum_ is +made in the pocket of the manager, let him recollect, that it is +a first and immutable principle of civil policy, that _the convenience +of the few must yield to the accommodation of the many_; and, that +the noble Marquis, as a peer and legislator of Great Britain, +is too closely attached to our excellent constitution to swerve +from so old and established a maxim. + +With respect to the last line of the couplet, + + “Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn,” + +we must confess that our author’s imagination has here been rather +too prurient.--His lordship’s head does not, as far as we can learn, +upon the most minute enquiry, _at present_, grace any alehouse +whatever--It was indeed for some little time displayed at HATFIELD in +HERTS; but the words “_Good entertainment within_,” being written +under it, they were deemed by travellers so extremely unapposite, that +to avoid further expence, LORD SALISBURY’s head was taken down, and +“_The old bald face Stag_” resumed its pristine station. + +Yet, enraptured with his first idea, our author soon forgets his late +reflection, and proceeds on the supposition of the noble lord having +exercised his pruning knife upon SHAKESPEARE and JOHNSON, and the +advantages which would have been derived from it, some of which he +thus beautifully describes: + + To plays should RICHMOND then undaunted come, + Secured from listening to PAROLLES’s drum: + Nor shouldst thou, CAMELFORD, the fool reprove, + Who lost a world to gain a wanton’s love. + “Give me a horse,” CATHCART should ne’er annoy: + Nor thou, oh! PITT, behold the angry boy. + +The last line but one of these, + + Give me a horse, &c. + +seems to allude to a circumstance that occurred in America, where his +lordship being on foot, and having to march nearly five miles over +a sandy plain in the heat of summer, fortunately discovered, tied to +the door of a house, a horse belonging to an officer of cavalry. +His lordship thinking that riding was pleasanter than walking, +and probably also imagining that the owner might be better engaged, +judged it expedient to avail himself of this steed, which thus so +fortunately presented itself, and accordingly borrowed it. The +subsequent apology, however, which he made when the proprietor, rather +out of humour at his unlooked-for pedestrian expedition, came up to +reclaim his lost goods, was so extremely ample, that the most rigid +asserter of the old fusty doctrines of _meum_ and _tuum_ cannot deny +that the dismounted cavalier had full compensation for any +inconvenience that he might have experienced. And we must add, that +every delicacy of the noble lord on this subject ought now to +terminate. + +We shall conclude with an extract from some complimentary verses by +a noble secretary, who is himself both an AMATEUR and ARTISTE.--Were +any thing wanting to our author’s fame, this elegant testimony in his +favour must be decisive with every reader of taste. + + Oh! mighty ROLLE, may long thy fame be known! + And long thy virtues in his verse be shewn! + When THURLOW’s christian meekness, SYDNEY’s sense, + When RICHMOND’s valour, HOPETOWN’s eloquence, + When HAWKESB’RY’s patriotism neglected lie + Intomb’d with CHESTERFIELD’s humanity, + When PRETTYMEN, sage guardian of PITT’s youth, + Shall lose each claim to honesty and truth, + When each pure blush DUNDAS’s cheek can boast, + With ARDEN’s law and nose alike are lost, + When grateful ROBINSON shall be forgot, + And not a line be read of MAJOR SCOTT, + When PHIPPS no more shall listening crouds engage, + And HAMLET’s jests be rased from memory’s page, + When PITT each patriot’s joy no more shall prove, + Nor from fond beauty catch the sigh of love, + When even thy sufferings, virtuous chief! shall fade, + And BASSET’s horsewhip but appear a shade, + Thy sacred spirit shall effulgence shed + And raise to kindred fame the mighty dead: + Long ages shall admire thy matchless soul, + And children’s children lisp the praise of ROLLE. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +It now only remains for us to perform the last melancholy office +to the dying drummer, and to do what little justice we can to the +very ingenious and striking manner in which our author closes at once +his prophecy and his life. + +It is a trite observation, that the curious seldom hear any good +of themselves; and all epic poets, who have sent their heroes to +conjurors, have, with excellent morality, taught us, that they who +pry into futurity, too often anticipate affliction.--VIRGIL plainly +intimates this lesson in the caution which he puts into the mouth +of ANCHISES, when ÆNEAS enquires into the future destiny of the +younger MARCELLUS, whose premature death forms the pathetic subject +of the concluding vision in the sixth book of the ÆNEID: + + “O nate, ingentum lectum ne quære tuorum.” + + “Seek not to know (the ghost replied with tears) + The sorrows of thy sons in future years.” + DRYDEN. + +Then, instead of declining any further answer, he very unnecessarily +proceeds to make his son as miserable as he can, by detailing all +the circumstances best calculated to create the most tender +interest.--The revelation of disagreeable events to come, is by our +poet more naturally put into the mouth of an enemy.--After running over +many more noble names than the records of the herald’s office afford +us any assistance in tracing, the second sighted Saxon, in the midst +of his dying convulsions, suddenly bursts into a violent explosion +of laughter.--This, of course, excites the curiosity of ROLLO, as it +probably will that of our readers; upon which the drummer insults +his conqueror with rather a long but very lively recital of all +the numerous disappointments and mortifications with which he foresees +that the destinies will affect the virtues of ROLLO’s great +descendant, the present illustrious member for Devonshire. He mentions +Mr. ROLLE’s many unsuccessful attempts to obtain the honour of the +peerage; alludes to some of the little splenetive escapes into which +even his elevated magnanimity is well known to have been for a moment +betrayed on those trying occasions. We now see all the drift and +artifice of the poet, and why he thought the occasion worthy of making +the drummer so preternaturally long winded, in displaying at full all +the glories of the house of peers; it was to heighten by contrast the +chagrin of ROLLO at finding the doors of this august assembly for ever +barred against his posterity. + +To understand the introductory lines of the following passage, it is +necessary to inform our readers, if they are not already acquainted +with the fact, that somewhere in the back settlements of America, +there is now actually existing an illegitimate batch of little +ROLLE’s. + + Though wide should spread thy spurious race around, + In other worlds, which must not yet be found, + While they with savages in forests roam + Deserted, far from their paternal home; + A mightier savage in thy wilds EX-MOOR, + Their well-born brother shall his fate deplore, + By friends neglected, as by foes abhorr’d, + No duke, no marquis, not a simple lord. + Tho’ thick as MARGARET’s knights with each address, + New peers, on peers, in crouds each other press, + He only finds, of all the friends of PITT, + His luckless head no coronet will fit. + +But what our author seems more particularly to have laboured, is a +passage which he has lately inserted: it relates to the cruel slight +which was shewn to Mr. ROLLE during the late royal progress through +the west.--Who is there that remembers the awful period when the +regency was in suspence, but must at the same time remember the +patriotic, decent, and consistent conduct of Mr. ROLLE? How laudably, +in his parliamentary speeches, did he co-operate to the best of his +power, with the popular pamphlets of the worthy Dr. WITHERS! How nobly +did he display his steady loyalty to the father, while he endeavoured +to shake the future right of the son to the throne of his ancestors! +How brightly did he manifest his attachment to the person of his +MAJESTY, by voting to seclude him in the hour of sickness from the +too distressing presence of his royal brothers and his children; and, +after all, when he could no longer resist the title of the heir +apparent, with what unembarrassed grace did he agree to the address of +his constituents, complimenting the prince on his accession to that +high charge, _to which his_ SITUATION and VIRTUES _so eminently_ +ENTITLED _him:_ yet, even then, with how peculiar a dexterity did Mr. +ROLLE mingle what some would have thought an affront, with his +praises, directly informing his ROYAL HIGHNESS that he had no +confidence whatever in any virtues but those of the minister. But, +alas, how uncertain is the reward of all sublunary merit! Those good +judges who inquired into the literary labours of the pious and +charitable Dr. WITHERS, did not exalt him to that conspicuous post, +which he so justly deserved, and would so well have graced; neither +did one ray of royal favour cheer the loyalty of Mr. ROLLE during +his majesty’s visit to DEVONSHIRE; though with an unexampled +liberality, the worthy member had contracted for the fragments of Lord +MOUNT EDGECUMBE’s desert, and the ruins of his triumphal arches; had +brought down several of the minister’s young friends to personate +virgins in white, sing, and strew flowers along the way; and had +actually dispatched a chaise and four to Exeter, for his old friend +and instructor, _mynheer_ HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERHAGEN, dancing-master and +poet; who had promised to prepare both the _balets_ and _ballads_ for +this glorious festivity. And for whom was Mr. ROLLE neglected? For his +colleague, Mr. BASTARD; a gentleman who, in his political +oscillations, has of late vibrated much more frequently to the +opposition than to the treasury bench. This most unaccountable +preference we are certain must be matter of deep regret to all our +readers of sensibility;--to the drummer it is matter of exultation. + + In vain with such bold spirit shall he speak, + That furious WITHERS shall to him seem meek; + In vain for party urge his country’s fate; + To save the church, in vain distract the state; + In loyal duty to the father shewn, + Doubt the son’s title to his future throne; + And from the suffering monarch’s couch remove + All care fraternal, and all filial love: + Then when mankind in choral praise unite, + Though blind before, see virtues beaming bright; + Yet feigning to confide, distrust evince, + And while he flatters, dare insult his PRINCE. + Vain claims!--when now, the people’s sins transferred + On their own heads, mad riot is the word; + When through the west in gracious progress goes + The monarch, happy victor of his woes; + While Royal smiles gild every cottage wall, + _Hope never comes to_ ROLLE, _that comes to all_; + And more with envy to disturb his breast, + BASTARD’s glad roof receives the Royal guest. + +Here the drummer, exhausted with this last wonderful exertion, +begins to find his pangs increase fast upon him; and what follows, +for two and thirty lines, is all interrupted with different +interjections of laughter and pain, till the last line, which consists +entirely of such interjections.--Our readers may probably recollect +the well-known line of THOMPSON. + + “OH, SOPHONISBA, SOPHONISBA, OH!” + +Which, by the way, is but a poor plagiarism from SHAKESPEARE: + + “OH, DESDEMONA, DESDEMONA, OH!” + +There is certainly in this line a very pretty change rung in the +different ways of arranging the name and the interjection; but perhaps +there may be greater merit, though of another kind, in the sudden +change of passions which OTWAY has expressed in the dying interjection +of PIERRE: + + “We have deceiv’d the senate--ha! ha! oh!” + +These modern instances, however, fall very short of the admirable +use made of interjections by the ancients, especially the GREEKS, +who did not scruple to put together whole lines of them.--Thus in +the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, besides a great number of hemistics, +we find a verse and a half: + + “----------Παπαι, + Παπα, παπα, παπα, παπα, παπα παπαι.” + +The harsh and intractable genius of our language will not permit us +to give any adequate idea of the soft, sweet, and innocent sound +of the original.--It may, however, be faithfully, though coarsely, +translated + + “------Alas! + Alack! alack! alack! alack! alack! alas!” + +At the same time, we have -our doubts whether some chastised tastes +may not prefer the simplicity of ARISTOPHANES; though it must not +be concealed, that there are critics who think he meant a wicked +stroke of ridicule at the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, when, in his +own PLUTUS, he makes his sycophant, at the smell of roast meat, +exclaim-- + + “Υυ, υυ, υυ, υυ, υυ, υυ!” + +Which we shall render by an excellent interjection, first coined +from the rich mint of MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, in his incomparable Ode-- + + “Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, + sniff, + sniff, sniff.” + +But whatever may be the comparative merits of these passages, ancient +and modern, we are confident no future critic will dispute but that +they are all excelled by the following exquisite couplet of our +author: + + Ha! ha!--this soothes me in severest woe; + Ho! ho!--ah! ah!--oh! oh!--ha! ah!--ho!--oh!!! + +We have now seen the drummer quietly inurn’d, and sung our requiem +over his grave: we hope, however, that + + ----He, dead corse, may yet, in complete calf, + Revisit oft the glimpses of the candle, + Making night chearful. + +We had flattered ourselves with the hope of concluding the criticisms +on the ROLLIAD with an ode of Mr. ROLLE himself, written in the +original EX-MOOR dialect; but we have hitherto, owing to the eagerness +with which that gentleman’s literary labours are sought after, +unfortunately been unable to procure a copy. The learned Mr. DAINES +BARRINGTON having, however, kindly hinted to us, that he thought +he had once heard Sir JOHN HAWKINS say, that he believed there was +something applicable to a drum in the possession of Mr. STEVENS, +the erudite annotator on SHAKESPEARE, Sir JOSEPH BANKS kindly wrote +to that gentleman; who, upon searching into his manuscripts at +Hampstead, found the following epitaph, which is clearly designed +for our drummer. Mr. STEVENS was so good as to accompany his kind +and invaluable communication with a dissertation to prove that this +FRANCIS of GLASTONBURY, from similarity of style and orthography, +must have been the author of the epitaph which declares that +celebrated outlaw, ROBIN HOOD, to have been a British peer. Mr. PEGGE +too informs us, that the HARLEIAN MISCELLANY will be found to confirm +this idea; and at the same time suggests, whether, as that dignified +character, Mr. WARREN HASTINGS, has declared himself to be descended +from an Earl of HUNTINGDON, and the late Earl and his family have, +through some unaccountable fantasy, as constantly declined the honour +of the affinity, this apparent difference of opinion may not be +accounted for by supposing him to be descended from _that_ Earl?--But, +if we are to imagine any descendants of that exalted character to be +still in existence, with great deference to Mr. PEGGE’s better +judgment, might not Sir ALEXANDER HOOD, and his noble brother, from +similarity of name, appear more likely to be descendants of this +celebrated archer? and from him also inherit that skill which the +gallant admiral, on a never to be forgotten occasion, so eminently +displayed in drawing a _long bow?_ We can only now lament, that we +have not room for any minute enquiry into these various hypotheses, +and that we are under the necessity of proceeding to the drummer’s +epitaph, and the conclusion of our criticisms. + +[Blackletter: + “A stalwart Saxon here doth lie, + Japeth nat, men of Normandie; + Rollo nought scoft his dyand wordes + Of poynt mo perrand than a swordis. + And leal folk of Englelonde + Shall haven hem yvir mo in honde. + Bot syn that in his life I trowe, + Of shepes skynnes he had ynowe, + For yvir he drommed thereupon: + Now he, pardie, is dede and gone, + May no man chese a shepis skynne + To wrappe his dyand wordes inne.” + Od. Frauncis of Glastonbury.] + + + + +POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + + +ROSE; OR, _THE COMPLAINT._ + +ARGUMENT. + +In this Eclogue our Author has imitated the Second of his favourite +Virgil, with more than his usual Precision. The Subject of Mr. ROSE’s +COMPLAINT is, that he is left to do the whole Business of the Treasury +during the broiling Heats of Summer, while his Colleague, Mr. STEELE, +enjoys the cool Breezes from the Sea, with Mr. PITT, at +Brighthelmstone. In this the Scholar has improved on the Original of +his great Master, as the Cause of the Distress which he relates is +much more natural. This Eclogue, from some internal Evidence, we +believe to have been written in the Summer of 1785, though there may +be one or two Allusions that have been inserted at a later Period. + + None more than ROSE, amid the courtly ring, + Lov’d BILLY, joy of JENKY and the KING. + But vain his hope to shine in BILLY’s eyes; + Vain all his votes, his speeches, and his lies. + STEELE’s happier claims the boy’s regard engage; 5 + Alike their studies, nor unlike their age: + With STEELE, companion of his vacant hours, + Oft would he seek Brighthelmstone’s sea-girt tow’rs; + For STEELE, relinquish Beauty’s trifling talk, + With STEELE each morning ride, each evening walk; 10 + Or in full tea-cups drowning cares of state, + On gentler topics urge the mock debate; + On coffee now the previous question move; + Now rise a surplusage of cream to prove; + Pass muffins in Committees of Supply, 15 + And “butter’d toast” amend by adding “dry:” + Then gravely sage, as in St. Stephen’s scenes, + With grief more true, propose the Ways and Means; + Or wanting these, unanimous of will, + They negative the leave to bring a bill. 20 + In one sad joy all ROSE’s comfort lay; + Pensive he sought the treasury day by day; + There, in his inmost chamber lock’d alone, + To boxes red and green he pour’d his moan + In rhymes uncouth; for Rose, to business bred 25 + A purser’s clerk, in rhyme was little read; + Nor, since his learning with his fortunes grew, + Had such vain arts engaged his sober view; + For STOCKDALE’s shelves contented to compose + The humbler poetry of lying prose. 30 + O barb’rous BILLY! (thus would he begin) + ROSE and his lies you value not a pin; + Yet to compassion callous as a Turk, + You kill me, cruel, with eternal work. + Now, after six long months of nothing done, 35 + Each to his home, our youthful statesmen run; + The mongrel ’squires, whose votes our Treasury pays, + Now, with their hunters, till the winter graze; + Now e’en the reptiles of the Blue and Buff, + In rural leisure, scrawl their factious stuff; 40 + Already pious HILL, with timely cares, + New songs, new hymns, for harvest-home prepares: + But with the love-lorne beauties, whom I mark + Thin and more thin, parading in the park, + I yet remain; and ply my busy feet 45 + From _Duke-street_ hither, hence to _Downing-street_, + In vain!--while far from this deserted scene, + With happier STEELE you saunter on the Steine. + And for a paltry salary, stript of fees, + Thus shall I toil, while others live at ease? 50 + Better, another summer long, obey + Self-weening LANSDOWNE’s transitory sway: + Tho’ GRAFTON call’d him proud, I found him kind; + With me he puzzled, and with him I din’d. + Better with FOX in opposition share, 55 + Black tho’ he be, and tho’ my BILLY fair. + Think, BILLY, think JOHN BULL a tasteless brute, + By black, or fair, decides not the dispute: + Ah! think, how politics resemble chess; + Tho’ now the white exult in short success, 60 + One erring move a sad reverse may bring, + The black may triumph, and check-mate our king. + You slight me, BILLY; and but little heed, + What talents I possess, what merits plead; + How in white lies abounds my fertile brain; 65 + And with what forgeries I those lies sustain. + A thousand fictions wander in my mind; + With me all seasons ready forgeries find. + I know the charm by ROBINSON employed, + How to the Treas’ry JACK his rats decoy’d. 70 + Not wit, but malice, PRETTYMAN reveals, + When to my head he argues from my heels. + My skull is not so thick; but last recess + I finish’d a whole pamphlet for the press; + And if by some seditious scribbler maul’d, 75 + The pen of CHALMERS to my aid I call’d, + With PRETTY would I write, tho’ judg’d by you; + If all that authors think themselves be true. + O! to the smoky town would BILLY come; + With me draw estimates, or cast a sum; 80 + Pore on the papers which these trunks contain, + Then with red tape in bundles tie again; + Chaste tho’ he be, if BILLY cannot sing, + Yet should he play to captivate the KING. + Beneath two Monarchs of the Brunswick line, 85 + In wealth to flourish, and in arms to shine, + Was Britain’s boast; ’till GEORGE THE THIRD arose, + In arts to gain his triumphs o’er our foes. + From RAMSAY’s pallet, and from WHITEHEAD’s lyre, + He sought renown that ages may admire: 90 + And RAMSAY gone, the honours of a name + To REYNOLDS gives, but trusts to WEST for fame: + For he alone, with subtler judgment blest, + Shall teach the world how REYNOLDS yields to WEST. + He too, by merit measuring the meed, 95 + Bids WARTON now to WHITEHEAD’s bays succeed; + But, to reward FAUQUIER’s illustrious toils, + Reserves the richer half of WHITEHEAD’s spoils. + For well the monarch saw with prescient eye, + That WARTON’s wants kind OXFORD would supply, 100 + Who, justly liberal to the task uncouth, + Learns from St. JAMES’s hard historic truth. + Blest OXFORD! in whose bowers the Laureat sings! + O faithful to the worst, and best of Kings, + Firm to the Right Divine of regal sway, 105 + Though Heav’n and Thou long differ’d where it lay! + Still of preferment be thy Sister Queen! + Thy nobler zeal disdains a thought so mean; + Still in thy German Cousin’s martial school, + Be each young hope of BRITAIN train’d to rule; 110 + But thine are honours of distinguishd grace, + Thou once a year shall view thy sovereign’s face, + While round him croud thy loyal sons, amaz’d, + To see him stare at tow’rs, by WYATT rais’d. + Yet fear not, OXFORD, lest a monarch’s smiles 115 + Lure fickle WYATT from the unfinish’d piles; + To thee shall WYATT still be left in peace, + ’Till ENGLISH ATHENS rival ancient Greece. + For him see CHAMBERS, greatly pretty, draw + Far other plans than ever Grecian saw; 120 + Where two trim dove-cotes rise on either hand, + O’er the proud roofs, whose front adorns the Strand; + While thro’ three gateways, like three key-holes spied, + A bowl inverted crowns the distant side. + But music most great GEORGE’s cares relieves, 125 + Sage arbiter of minims, and of breves! + Yet not by him is living genius fed, + With taste more frugal he protects the dead; + Not all alike; for, though a Briton born, + He laughs all natal prejudice to scorn; 130 + His nicer ear our barbarous masters pain, + Though PURCELL, our own Orpheus, swell the strain; + And mighty HANDEL, a gigantic name, + Owes to his country half his tuneful fame. + Nor of our souls neglectful, GEORGE provides, 135 + To lead his flocks, his own Right Reverend guides; + Himself makes bishops, and himself promotes, + Nor seeks to influence, tho’ he gives, their votes. + Then for a Prince so pious, so refin’d, + An air of HANDEL, or a psalm to grind, 140 + Disdain not, BILLY: for his sovereign’s sake + What pains did PAGET with his gamut take! + And to an Earl what rais’d the simple Peer? + What but that gamut, to his Sovereign dear? + O come, my BILLY, I have bought for you 145 + The barrel-organ of a strolling Jew; + Dying, he sold it me at second-hand: + Sev’n stops it boasts, with barrels at command. + How at my prize did envious UXBRIDGE fume, + Just what he wish’d for his new music-room. 150 + Come, BILLY, come. Two wantons late I dodg’d, + And mark’d the dangerous alley where they lodg’d. + Fair as pearl-powder are their opening charms, + In tender beauty; fit for BILLY’s arms; + And from the toilet blooming as they seem, 155 + Two cows would scarce supply them with cold cream. + The house, the name to BILLY will I show, + Long has DUNDAS the secret wish’d to know, + And he shall know: since services like these + Have little pow’r our virtuous youth to please. 160 + Come, BILLY, come. For you each rising day + My maids, tho’ tax’d, shall twine a huge bouquet: + That you, next winter, at the birth-night ball + In loyal splendor may out-dazzle all; + Dear Mrs. ROSE her needle shall employ, 165 + To ’broider a fine waistcoat for my boy; + In gay design shall blend with skilful toil, + Gold, silver, spangles, crystals, beads, and foil, + ’Till the rich work in bright confusion show + Flow’rs of all hues--and many more than blow. 170 + I too, for something to present--some book + Which BILLY wants, and I can spare--will look: + EDEN’s five letters, with an half-bound set + Of pamphlet schemes to pay the public debt; + And pasted there, too thin to bind alone, 175 + My SHELBURNE’s speech so gracious from the throne. + COCKER’s arithmetic my gift shall swell; + By JOHNSON how esteem’d, let BOSWELL tell. + Take too these Treaties by DEBRETT; and here + Take to explain them, SALMON’s Gazetteer. 180 + And you, Committee labours of DUNDAS, + And you, his late dispatches to Madras, + Bound up with BILLY’s fav’rite act I’ll send; + Together bound--for sweetly thus you blend. + ROSE, you’re a blockhead! Let no factious scribe 185 + Hear such a thought, that BILLY heeds a bribe: + Or grant th’ Immaculate, not proof to pelf, + Has STEELE a soul less liberal than yourself? + --Zounds! what a blunder! worse than when I made + A FRENCH arrêt, the guard of BRITISH trade. 190 + Ah! foolish boy, whom fly you?--Once a week + The KING from Windsor deigns these scenes to seek. + Young GALLOWAY too is here, in waiting still. + Our coasts let RICHMOND visit, if he will; + There let him build, and garrison his forts, 195 + If such his whim:--Be our delight in courts. + What various tastes divide the fickle town! + One likes the fair, and one admires the brown; + The stately, QUEENSB’RY; HINCHINBROOK, the small; + THURLOW loves servant-maids; DUNDAS loves all. 200 + O’er MORNINGTON French prattle holds command; + HASTINGS buys German phlegm at second-hand; + The dancer’s agile limbs win DORSET’s choice; + Whilst BRUDENELL dies enamour’d of a voice: + ’Tis PEMBROKE’s dearest pleasure to elope, 205 + And BILLY, best of all things, loves--a trope; + My BILLY I: to each his taste allow: + Well said the dame, I ween, who kiss’d her cow. + Lo! in the West the sun’s broad orb disp lay’d + O’er the Queen’s palace, lengthens every shade: 210 + See the last loiterers now the Mall resign; + E’en Poets go, that they may seem to dine: + Yet, fasting, here I linger to complain. + Ah! ROSE, GEORGE ROSE! what phrenzy fires your brain! + With pointless paragraphs the POST runs wild; 215 + And FOX, a whole week long, is unrevil’d: + Our vouchers lie half-vamp’d, and without end + Tax-bills on tax-bills rise to mend and mend. + These, or what more we need, some new deceit + Prepare to gull the Commons, when they meet. 220 + Tho’ scorn’d by BILLY, you ere long may find + Some other Minister, like LANSDOWNE kind. + He ceas’d, went home, ate, drank his fill, and then + Snor’d in his chair, ’till supper came at ten. 224 + + +IMITATONS. + + VIRGIL. ECLOGUE II. + + Formosum pastor Corydon, ardebat Alexin, + Delicias domini; nec, quid speraret habebat, + Tantum inter dènsas, umbrosa cacumina, fagos + Assiduè veniebat; ibi hæc incondita solus + Montibus et sylvis studio jactabat inani. + + O crudelis Alexi! nihil mea carmina curas; + Nil nostri miserere: mori me denique coges. + Nunc etiam pecudes umbras et frigora captant; + Nunc virides etiam occultant spineta lacertos; + Thestylis et rapido fessis messoribus æstu + Allia serpyllumque herbas contundit olentis. + + At mecum raucis, tua dum vestigia lustro, + Sole sub ardenti resonant arbusta cicadis. + Nonnè fuit melius tristes Amyrillidis iras + Atque superba pata fastidia? Nonnè Menalcan + Quamvis ille niger, quamvis tu candidus esses, + O formose puer, nimiùm ne crede colori. + Alba ligustra cadunt, vaccinia nigra leguntur. + Sum tibi despectus; nec qui sim quæris, Alexi: + Quam dives pecoris nivei, quam lactis abundans. + Mille meæ Siculis errant in montibus agnæ: + + Lac mihi non æstate novum, non frigore desit. + Canto, quæ solitus, si quando armenta vocabat, + Amphion Dircæus in Actœo Aracyntho. + Nec sum adeò informis: nuper me in littore vidi, + Cum placidum ventis staret mare: non ego Daphnim, + Judice te, metuam, si nunquam fallat imago. + + O tantum libeat mecum tibi sordida rura + Atque humilis habitare casas, et figere cervos, + Hædorumque gregem viridi compellere hibisco. + Mecum unà in Sylois imitabere Pana canendo. + + Pan primus calamos cerâ conjungere plures + instituit;---------------- + ------Pan curat oves, oviumque magistros. + Neu te pœniteat calamo trivisse labellum. + Hæc eadem ut sciret, quid non faciebat Amyntas? + + Est mihi disparibus septem compacta cicutis + Fistula, Damætas dono mihi quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens: “te nunc habet ista secundum.” + Dixit Damætas: invidit stultus Amyntas. + + Prætereà duo—nec tutâ mihi valle reperti + Capreoli, sparsis etiam nunc pellibus albo, + Bina die siccant ovis ubera; quos tibi servo. + Jampridem a me illos abducere Thestylis orat, + Et faciet; quoniam sordent tibi munera nostra! + + Huc ades, O formose puer. Tibi lilia plenis + Ecce ferunt nymphæ calathis: tibi candida Naïs + Pallentis violas, et summa papavera carpens + Narcissum et florem jungit bene olentis anethi. + Tum casiâ, atque aliis intexens suavibus herbis + Mollia luteolâ pingit vaccinia calthâ. + + Ipse ego cana legam tenerà lanugine mala, + Castaneasque nuces, mea quas Amaryllis amabat: + Addam ceroa pruna; honos erit huic quoque pomo + Et vos, O lauri carpam, et te, proxima myrtus + Sic positæ, quoniam suaves miscetis odores. + + Rusticus es, Corydon! nec munera curat Alexis + Nec, si muneribus certes, concedat Iolas. + Eheu! quid volui misero mihi? Floribus Austrum + Perditus et liquidis immissi fontibus apros. + Quem fugis, ah! demens? habitârunt Di quoque sylvas, + Dardaniusque Paris. Pallas, quas condidit, arces + Ipsa colat: Nobis placeant ante omnia sylvæ. + + Torva leæna lupum sequitur lupus ipse capellam, + Florentem cytasum sequitur lasciva capella; + Te Corydon, O Alexi: trahit sua quemque voluptas. + Me tamen urit amor: quis enim modis adsit amori. + Aspice! aratra jugo referunt suspensa juvenci, + Et sol crescentis discedens duplicat umbras: + Ah! Corydon, Corydon, quæ te dementia cepit? + Semiputata tibi frondosâ vitis in ulmo est. + Quin tu aliquid saltem, potius quorum indiget usus, + Viminibus, mollique paras detexere junco? + Invenies alium, si te hic fastidit, Alexin. + + +NOTES. + +Ver. 29 and 32 allude to a pamphlet on the Irish Propositions, +commonly called the Treasury Pamphlet, and universally attributed +to Mr. Rose. This work of the Honourable Secretary’s was eminently +distinguished by a gentleman-like contempt for the pedantry of +grammar, and a poetical abhorrence of dull fact. + +Ver. 42. For a long account of Sir Richard Hill’s harvest-home, +and of the godly hymns and ungodly ballads, sung on the occasion, +see the newspapers in Autumn, 1784. + +Ver. 49. Justice to the minister obliges us to observe, that he is +by no means chargeable with the scandalous illiberality above +intimated, of reducing the income of the Secretaries of the Treasury +to the miserable pittance of 3000l. a year. This was one of the many +infamous acts which to deservedly drew down the hatred of all +true friends to their king and country, on those pretended patriots, +the Whigs. + +Ver. 66. We know not of what forgeries Mr. Rose here boasts. +Perhaps he may mean the paper relative to his interview with +Mr. Gibbon and Mr. Reynolds, so opportunely found in an obscure +drawer of Mr. Pitt’s bureau. See the Parliamentary debates of 1785. + +Ver. 71. Alludes to a couplet in the LYARS, which was written before +the present Eclogue. + +Ver. 78. The _Reply to the Treasury Pamphlet_ was answered, not by +Mr. Rote himself, but by Mr. George Chalmers. + +Ver. 88. The following digression on his Majesty’s love of the +fine arts, though it be somewhat long, will carry its apology with +it in the truth and beauty of the panegyric. The judicious reader +will observe that the style is more elevated, like the subject, +and for this the poet may plead both the example and precept of +his favourite Virgil. + + --------sylvæ sint Consule dignæ. + +Ver. 91 and 92. Since the death of Ramsay, Sir Joshua Reynolds +is _nominally_ painter to the king, though his Majesty sits only +to Mr. West. + +Ver. 93. This line affords a striking instance of our Poet’s +dexterity in the use of his classical learning. He here translates +a single phrase from Horace. + + _Judicium subtile_ videndis artibus illud. + +When he could not possibly apply what concludes, + + Bœtum in crasso jurares æere natum. + +Ver. 95. Our most gracious Sovereign’s comparative estimate of Messrs. +Whitehead and Warton, is here happily elucidated, from a circumstance +highly honourable to his Majesty’s taste; that, whereas he thought +the former worthy of two places, he has given the latter only the +worst of the two. Mr. Fauquier is made Secretary and Register to the +order of the Bath, in the room of the deceased Laureat. + +Ver. 107. We suspect the whole of this passage in praise of his +Majesty, has been retouched by Mr. Warton, as this line, or something +very like it, occurs in his “Triumphs of Isis,” a spirited poem, which +is omitted, we know not why, in his publication of his works. + +Ver. 149. Our readers, we trust, have already admired the several +additions which our poet has made to the ideas of his great original. +He has here given an equal proof of his judgment in a slight omission. +When he converted Amyntas into Lord Uxbridge, with what striking +propriety did he sink upon us the epithet of _stultus_, or _foolish_; +for surely we cannot suppose that to be conveyed above in the term +of _simple_ peer. + +Ver. 156. In the manuscript we find two lines which were struck out; +possibly because our poet supposed they touched on a topic of praise, +not likely ta be very prevalent with Mr. PITT, notwithstanding what +we have lately heard of his “Atlantean shoulders.” They are as +follows: + + Yet strong beyond the promise of their years, + Each in one night would drain two grenadiers. + +Ver. 181. The orders of the Board of Controul, relative to the debts +of the Nabob of Arcot, certainly _appear_ diametrically opposite to +Mr. Dundas’s Reports, and to an express clause of Mr. Pitt’s bill. +Our author, however, like Mr. Pitt and Mr. Dundas, roundly asserts +the consistency of the whole. + +Ver. 189. This unfortunate slip of the Honourable Secretary’s +constitutional logic happened in a debate on the Irish Propositions. +Among the many wild chimeras of faction on that memorable occasion, +one objection was, that the produce of the French West-Indian Islands +might be legally smuggled through Ireland into this country. To which +Mr. Rose replied, “That we might repeal all our acts in perfect +security, because the French King had lately issued an arrêt which +would prevent this smuggling.” + +Ver. 216. We flattered ourselves that this line might have enabled us +to ascertain the precise time when this eclogue was written. We were, +however, disappointed, as on examining the file of Morning Posts +for 1784, we could not find a single week in which Mr. FOX is +absolutely without some attack or other. We suppose therefore +our author here speaks with the allowed latitude of poetry. + + * * * * * + +THE LYARS. + +ARGUMENT. + +This Eclogue is principally an Imitation of the third Bucolic of +Virgil, which, as is observed by Dr. Joseph Warton, the Brother of our +incomparable Laureat, is of that Species called Amœbœa, where the +Characters introduced contend in alternate Verse; the second always +endeavouring to surpass the first Speaker in an equal number of Lines, +As this was in point of Time the first of our Author’s Pastoral +Attempts, he has taken rather more Latitude than he afterwards allowed +himself in the rest, and has interspersed one or two occasional +Imitations from other Eclogues of the Roman Poet. + + + In Downing-street, the breakfast duly set, + As BANKS and PRETTYMAN one morn were met, + A strife arising who could best supply, + In urgent cases, a convenient lie; + His skill superior each essay’d to prove 5 + In verse alternate--which the Muses love! + While BILLY, listening to their tuneful plea, + In silence sipp’d his _Commutation_ Tea, + And heard them boast, how loudly both had ly’d: + The Priest began, the Layman thus reply’d! 10 + +PRETTYMAN. + Why wilt thou, BANKS, with me dispute the prize? + Who is not cheated when a Parson lies? + Since pious Christians, ev’ry Sabbath-day, + Must needs believe whate’er the Clergy say! + In spite of all you Laity can do, 15 + One lie from us is more than ten from you! + +BANKS. + O witless lout! in lies that touch the state, + We, Country Gentlemen, have far more weight; + Fiction from us the public still must gull: + They think we’re honest, as they know we’re dull! 20 + +PRETTYMAN. + In yon Cathedral I a Prebend boast, + The maiden bounty of our gracious host! + Its yearly profits I to thee resign, + If PITT pronounce not that the palm is mine! + +BANKS. + A Borough mine, a pledge far dearer sure, 25 + Which in St Stephen’s gives a seat secure! + If PITT to PRETTYMAN the prize decree, + Henceforth CORFE-CASTLE shall belong to thee! + +PITT. + Begin the strain--while in our easy chairs + We loll, forgetful of all public cares! 30 + Begin the strain--nor shall I deem my time + Mispent, in hearing a debate in ryhme! + +PRETTYMAN. + Father of lies! By whom in EDEN’s shade + Mankind’s first parents were to sin betray’d; + Lo! on this altar, which to thee I raise, 35 + Twelve BIBLES, bound in red Morocco, blaze. + +BANKS. + Blest powers of falsehood, at whose shrine I bend, + Still may success your votary’s lies attend! + What prouder victims can your altars boast, + Than honours stain’d, and fame for ever lost? 40 + +PRETTYMAN. + How smooth, persuasive, plausible, and glib, + From holy lips is dropp’d the specious fib! + Which whisper’d slily, in its dark career + Assails with art the unsuspecting ear. + +BANKS. + How clear, convincing, eloquent, and bold, 45 + The bare-fac’d lie, with manly courage told! + Which, spoke in public, falls with greater force, + And heard by hundreds, is believ’d of course. + +PRETTYMAN. + Search through each office for the basest tool + Rear’d in JACK ROBINSONS’s abandon’d school; 50 + ROSE, beyond all the sons of dulness, dull, + Whose legs are scarcely thicker than his scull; + Not ROSE, from all restraints of conscience free, + In double-dealing is a match for me. + +BANKS. + Step from St. Stephen’s up to Leadenhall, 55 + Where Europe’s crimes appear no crimes at all; + Not Major SCOTT, with bright pagodas paid, + That wholesale dealer in the lying trade; + Not he, howe’er important his design, + Can lie with impudence surpassing mine. 60 + +PRETTYMAN. + Sooner the ass in fields of air shall graze, + Or WARTON’s Odes with justice claims the bays; + Sooner shall mackrel on the plains disport, + Or MULGRAVE’s hearers think his speech too short; + Sooner shall sense escape the prattling lips 65 + Of Captain CHARLES, or COL’NEL HENRY PHIPPS; + Sooner shall CAMPBELL mend his phrase uncouth, + Than Doctor PRETTYMAN shall speak the truth! + +BANKS. + When FOX and SHERIDAN for fools shall pass, + And JEMMY LUTTRELL not be thought an ass; 70 + When all their audience shall enraptur’d sit + With MAWBEY’s eloquence, and MARTIN’s wit; + When fiery KENYON shall with temper speak, + When modest blushes die DUNDAS’s cheek; + Then, only then, in PITT’s behalf will I 75 + Refuse to pledge my honour to a lie. + +PRETTYMAN. + While in suspence our Irish project hung, + A well-framed fiction from this fruitful tongue + Bade the vain terrors of the City cease, + And lull’d the Manufacturers to peace: 80 + The tale was told with so demure an air, + Not weary Commerce could escape the snare. + +BANKS. + When Secret Influence expiring lay, + And Whigs triumphant hail’d th’ auspicious day, + I bore that faithless message to the House, 85 + By PITT contriv’d the gaping ’squires to chouse; + That deed, I ween, demands superior thanks: + The British Commons were the dupes of BANKS. + +PRETTYMAN. + Say, in what regions are those fathers found, + For deep-dissembling policy renown’d; 90 + Whose subtle precepts for perverting truth, + To quick perfection train’d our patron’s youth, + And taught him all the mystery of lies? + Resolve me this, and I resign the prize. + +BANKS. + Say, what that mineral, brought from distant climes, 95 + Which screens delinquents, and absolves their crimes; + Whose dazzling rays confound the space between + A tainted strumpet and a spotless Queen; + Which Asia’s Princes give, which Europe’s take; + Tell this, dear Doctor, and I yield the stake. 100 + +PITT. + Enough, my friends--break off your tuneful sport, + ’Tis levee day, and I must dress for Court; + Which hath more boldly or expertly lied, + Not mine th’ important contest to decide. + Take thou this MITRE, Doctor, which before 105 + A greater hypocrite sure never wore; + And if to services rewards be due, + Dear BANKS, this CORONET belongs to you: + Each from that Government deserves a prize, + Which thrives by shuffling, and subsists by lies. 110 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 6. Amant alterna Camenæ. + Ver. 10. Hos Corydon, illos referebat in ordine Thyrsis. + Ver. 29. Dicite--quandoquidem in molli consedimus herbâ + Ver. 61. Ante leves ergo pas entur in æthere cervi + Et freta destituent nudos in littore pisces-- + Ver. 89. Die quibus in terris, &c. + Ver. 104. Non nostrum inter vos tantas componere lites. + Ver. 105. Et vitulà tu dignus et hic. + +NOTES. +Ver. 17. Our poet here seems to deviate from his general rule, by the +introduction of a phrase which appears rather adapted to the lower +and less elevated strain of pastoral, than to the dialogue of persons +of such distinguished rank. It is, however, to be considered, that it +is far from exceeding the bounds of possibility to suppose, that, +in certain instances, the epithet of “Witless,” and the coarse +designation of “Lout,” may be as applicable to a dignitary of the +church, as to the most ignorant and illiterate rustic. + +Ver. 62. The truth of this line must be felt by all who have read +the lyrical effusions of Mr. Warton’s competitors, whose odes were +some time since published, by Sir John Hawkins, Knight. The present +passage must be understood in reference to these, and not to the +Laureat’s general talents. + +Ver. 85. The ingenious and sagacious gentleman, who, at the period +of the glorious revolution of 1784, held frequent meetings at +the Saint Alban’s Tavern, for the purpose of bringing about an union +that might have prevented the dissolution of parliament; which +meetings afforded time to one of the members of the proposed union to +concert means throughout every part of the kingdom, for ensuring the +success of that salutary and constitutional measure, which, through +his friend Mr. B--ks, he had solemnly pledged himself not to adopt. +How truly does this conduct mark “the statesman born!” + -------- Dolus an virtus, quis in hoste requirit? + +Ver. 98. It must be acknowledged that there is some obscurity in +this passage, as well as in the following line, + + “Which Asia’s princes give, which Europe’s take:” + +and of this, certain seditious, malevolent, disaffected critics have +taken advantage, and have endeavoured, by a forced construction, +to discover in them an unwarrantable insinuation against the highest +and most sacred characters; from which infamous imputation, however, +we trust, the well-known and acknowledged loyalty of our author’s +principles will sufficiently protect him. + + * * * * * + +_MARGARET NICHOLSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +Mr. WILKES and Lord HAWKESBURY alternately congratulate each other +on his Majesty’s late happy Escape, The one describes the Joy which +pervades the Country: the other sings the Dangers from which our +Constitution has been preserved. Though in the following Eclogue +our Author has not selected any single one of _Virgil_ for a close and +exact Parody, he seems to have had his Eye principally upon the Vth, +or the _Daphnis_, which contains the Elegy and _APOTHEOSIS_ of _Julius +Cæsar_. + + + The Session up: the INDIA-BENCH appeas’d, + The LANSDOWNES satisfied, the LOWTHERS pleas’d, + Each job dispatch’d:--the Treasury boys depart, + As various fancy prompts each youthful heart; + PITT, in chaste kisses seeking virtuous joy, 5 + Begs Lady CHATHAM’s blessing on her boy; + While MORNINGTON, as vicious as he can, + To fair R--L--N in vain affects the man: + With Lordly BUCKINGHAM retir’d at STOWE, + GRENVILLE, whose plodding brains no respite know, 10 + To prove next year, how our finances thrive, + Schemes new reports, that two and two make five. + To plans of Eastern justice hies DUNDAS; + And comley VILLARS to his votive glass; + To embryo tax bills ROSE; to dalliance STEELE; 15 + And hungry hirelings to their hard-earn’d meal. + A faithful pair, in mutual friendship tied, + Once keen in hate, as now in love allied + (This, o’er admiring mobs in triumph rode, + Libell’d his monarch and blasphem’d his God; 20 + That, the mean drudge of tyranny and BUTE, + At once his practis’d pimp and prostitute), + Adscomb’s proud roof receives, whose dark recess + And empty vaults, its owner’s mind express, + While block’d-up windows to the world display 25 + How much he loves a tax, how much invites the day. + Here the dire chance that god-like GEORGE befel, + How sick in spirit, yet in health how well; + What Mayors by dozens, at the tale affrighted, + Got drunk, address’d, got laugh’d at, and got knighted; 30 + They read, with mingled horror and surprise, + In London’s pure Gazette, that never lies. + Ye Tory bands, who, taught by conscious fears, + Have wisely check’d your tongues, and sav’d your ears,-- + Hear, ere hard fate forbids--what heavenly strains 35 + Flow’d from the lips of these melodious swains. + Alternate was the song; but first began, + With hands uplifted, the regenerate man. + +WILKES. + Bless’d be the beef-fed guard, whose vigorous twist + Wrench’d the rais’d weapon from the murderer’s fist, 40 + Him Lords in waiting shall with awe behold + In red tremendous, and hirsute in gold. + On him, great monarch, let thy bounty shine, + What meed can match a life so dear as thine? + Well was that bounty measured, all must own, 45 + That gave him _half_ of what he saved--_a crown_. + Bless’d the dull edge, for treason’s views unfit, + Harmless as SYDNEY’s rage, or BEARCROFT’s wit. + Blush, clumsy patriots, for degenerate zeal, + WILKES had not guided thus the faithless steel! 50 + Round your sad mistress flock, ye maids elect, + Whose charms severe your chastity protect; + Scar’d by whose glance, despairing love descries, + That virtue steals no triumph from your eyes. + Round your bold master flock, ye mitred hive, 55 + With anathems on Whigs his soul revive! + Saints! whom the sight of human blood appals, + Save when to please the Royal will it falls. + He breathes! he lives! the vestal choir advance, + Each takes a bishop, and leads up the dance, 60 + Nor dreads to break her long respected vow, + For chaste--ah strange to tell!--are bishops now: + Saturnian times return!--the age of truth, + And--long foretold--is come the virgin youth. + Now sage professors, for their learning’s curse, 65 + Die of their duty in remorseless verse: + Now sentimental Aldermen expire + In prose half flaming with the Muse’s fire; + Their’s--while rich dainties swim on every plate-- + Their’s the glad toil to feast for Britain’s fate; 70 + Nor mean the gift the Royal grace affords, + All shall be knights--but those that shall be lords. + Fountain of Honour, that art never dry, + Touch’d with whose drops of grace no thief can die, + Still with new titles soak the delug’d land, 75 + Still may we all be safe from KETCH’s menac’d hand! + +JENKINSON. + Oh wond’rous man, with a more wond’rous Muse! + O’er my lank limbs thy strains a sleep diffuse, + Sweet as when PITT with words, disdaining end, + Toils to explain, yet scorns to comprehend. 80 + Ah! whither had we fled, had that foul day + Torn him untimely from our arms away? + What ills had mark’d the age, had that dire thrust + Pierc’ his soft heart, and bow’d his bob to dust? + Gods! to my labouring sight what phantoms rise! 85 + Here Juries triumph, and there droops Excise! + Fierce from defeat, and with collected might, + The low-born Commons claim the people’s right: + And mad for freedom, vainly deem their own, + Their eye presumptuous dares to scan the throne. 90 + See--in the general wreck that smothers all, + Just ripe for justice--see my HASTINGS fall. + Lo, the dear Major meets a rude repulse, + Though blazing in each hand he bears a BULSE? + Nor Ministers attend, nor Kings relent, 95 + Though rich Nabobs so splendidly repent. + See EDEN’s faith expos’d to sale again, + Who takes his plate, and learns his French in vain. + See countless eggs for us obscure the sky, + Each blanket trembles, and each pump is dry. 100 + Far from good things DUNDAS is sent to roam, + Ah!--worse than banish’d--doom’d to live at home. + Hence dire illusions! dismal scenes away-- + Again he cries, “What, what!” and all is gay. + Come, BRUNSWICK, come, great king of loaves and fishes, + Be bounteous still to grant us all our wishes! 106 + Twice every year with BEAUFOY as we dine, + Pour’d to the brim--eternal George--be thine + Two foaming cups of his nectareous juice, + Which--new to gods--no mortal vines produce. 110 + To us shall BRUDENELL sing his choicest airs, + And capering MULGRAVE ape the grace of bears; + A grand thanksgiving pious YORK compose, + In all the proud parade of pulpit prose; + For sure Omniscience will delight to hear, 115 + Thou ’scapest a danger, that was never near. + While ductile PITT thy whisper’d wish obeys, + While dupes believe whate’er the Doctor says, + While panting to be tax’d, the famish’d poor + Grow to their chains, and only beg for more; 120 + While fortunate in ill, thy servants find + No snares too slight to catch the vulgar mind: + Fix’d as the doom, thy power shall still remain, + And thou, wise King, as uncontroul’d shall reign. + +WILKES. + Thanks, _Jenky_, thanks, for ever could’st thou sing, 125 + For ever could I sit and hear thee praise the King. + Then take this book, which with a Patriot’s pride, + Once to his sacred warrant I deny’d, + Fond though he was of reading all I wrote: + No gift can better suit thy tuneful throat. 130 + +JENKINSON. + And thou this Scottish pipe, which JAMIE’s breath + Inspir’d when living, and bequeath’d in death, + From lips unhallow’d I’ve prcserv’d it long: + Take the just tribute of thy loyal song. 134 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 59. Ergo alacris sylvas et cetera rura voluptas. + Panaque pastoresque tenet, Dryadasque puellas. + Ver. 61. Nec lupus insidias pecori, &c. + Ver. 63. Jam redit et Virgo, redeunt Saturnia regna. + Ver. 78. Tale tuum carmen nobis, divine Poeta, + Quale sopor sessis in gramine. + Ver. 106. Sis bonus; O! felixque tuis-- + Ver. 107. Pocula bina novo spumantia lacte quot--annis + Craterasque duo statuam tibi. + Ver. 109. Vina _novum_ fundum calathis Arvisia nectar. + Ver. 114. Cantabunt mihi Damætas et Lictius Ægon. + Saltantes Satyros imitabitur Alphæsibæus. + Ver. 121. Dum juga montis aper, &c. + Semper honos, nomenque tuum, laudesque manebunt. + Ver. 130. At tu sume pedurn, quod cum me sæpe rogaret + Non tulit Antigenes, et erat turn dignus amari. + Ver. 134. Est mihi-- + Fistula, Damætas dono mini quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens, “Te nunc, habet ista secundum.” + ECL. II. + +NOTES. +Ver. 46. _half--a crown!_--Literally so. + +Ver. 63, 64. It is rearkable that these are the only lines which +our Poet has imitated from the IVth Eclogue (or the Pollio) of Virgil. +Perhaps the direct and obvious application of that whole Eclogue +appeared to our author to be an undertaking too easy for the exercise +of his superior talents; or perhaps he felt himself too well +anticipated by a similar imitation of Pope’s Messiah, which was +inserted some time since in one of the public papers. If the author +will favour us with a corrected copy, adapted rather to the Pollio +than the Messiah, we shall be happy to give it a place in our +subsequent editions, of which we doubt not the good taste of the town +will demand as many as of the rest of our celebrated bard’s +immortal compositions. + +Ver. 119. The public alarm expressed upon the event which is the +subject of this Pastoral, was certainly a very proper token of +affection to a Monarch, every action of whose reign denotes him +to be the father of his people. Whether it has sufficiently subsided +to admit of a calm enquiry into facts, is a matter of some doubt, +as the addresses were not finished in some late Gazettes. If ever +that time should arrive, the world will be very well pleased to hear +that the miserable woman whom the Privy Council have judiciously +confined in Bedlam for her life, never even aimed a blow at his +August Person. + +Ver. 127. _This Book_, &c. Essay on Woman. + +Ver. 130. _No gift can better suit thy----throat._ The ungrateful +people of England, we have too much reason to fear, may be of +a different opinion. + + * * * * * + +_CHARLES JENKINSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +The following is a very close Translation of _VIRGIL’s SILENUS_; +so close indeed that many Readers may be surprised at such a Deviation +from our Authur’s usual Mode of imitating the Ancients. But we are +to consider that _VIRGIL_ is revered by his Countrymen, not only +as a Poet, but likewise as a Prophet and Magician; and our +incomparable Translator, who was not ignorant of this Circumstance, +was convinced, that _VIRGIL_ in his _SILENUS_ had really and _bonâ +fide_ meant to allude to the Wonders of the present Reign, and +consequently that it became his Duty to adhere most strictly to his +Original, and to convey the true Meaning of this hitherto inexplicable +Eclogue. + + + Mine was the Muse, that from a Norman scroll + First rais’d to Fame the barbarous worth of ROLLE, + And dar’d on DEVON’s hero to dispense + The gifts of Language, Poetry, and Sense. + In proud Pindarics next my skill I try’d, 5 + But SALISB’RY wav’d his wand and check’d my pride: + “Write English, friend (he cry’d), be plain and flatter, + Nor thus confound your compliment and satire. + Even I, a critic by the King’s command, + Find these here odes damn’d hard to understand.” 10 + Now then, O deathless theme of WARTON’s Muse, + Oh great in War! oh glorious at Reviews! + While many a rival anxious for the bays; + Pursues thy virtues with relentless praise; + While at thy levee smiling crowds appear, 15 + Blest that thy birth-day happens once a year: + Like good SIR CECIL, I to woods retire, + And write plain eclogues o’er my parlour fire. + Yet still for thee my loyal verse shall flow, + Still, shou’d it please, to thee its charms shall owe; 20 + And well I ween, to each succeeding age, + Thy name shall guard and consecrate my page. + Begin, my Muse!--As WILBERFORCE and BANKS + Late in the Lobby play’d their usual pranks, + Within a water-closet’s niche immur’d 25 + (Oh that the treacherous door was unsecur’d), + His wig awry, his papers on the ground, + Drunk, and asleep, CHARLES JENKINSON they found. + Transported at the sight (for oft of late + At PITT’s assembled on affairs of state, 30 + They both had press’d him, but could ne’er prevail, + To sing a merry song or tell a tale) + In rush’d th’ advent’rous youths:--they seize, they bind, + Make fast his legs, and tie his hands behind, + Then scream for help; and instant to their aid 35 + POMONA flies, POMONA, lovely maid; + Or maid, or goddess, sent us from above, + To bless young Senators with fruit and love. + Then thus the sage--“Why these unseemly bands? + “Untie my legs, dear boys, and loose my hands; 40 + The promis’d tale be yours: a tale to you; + To fair POMONA different gifts are due.” + Now all things haste to hear the master talk: + Here Fawns and Satyrs from the Bird-cage-walk, + Here Centaur KENYON, and the Sylvan sage, 45 + Whom BOWOOD guards to rule a purer age, + Here T------W, B------T, H------N appear, + With many a minor savage in their rear, + Panting for treasons, riots, gibbets, blocks, + To strangle NORTH, to scalp and eat CHARLES FOX. 50 + There H------’s sober band in silence wait, + Inur’d to sleep, and patient of debate; + Firm in their ranks, each rooted to his chair + They sit, and wave their wooden heads in air. + Less mute the rocks while tuneful Phœbus sung, 55 + Less sage the critic brutes round Orpheus hung; + For true and pleasant were the tales he told, + His theme great GEORGE’s age, the age of gold. + Ere GEORGE appear’d a Briton bora and bred, + One general Chaos all the land o’erspread 60 + There lurking seeds of adverse factions lay, + Which warm’d and nurtur’d by his dawning ray, + Sprang into life. Then first began to thrive + The tender shoots of young Prerogative; + Then spread luxuriant, when unclouded shone 65 + The full meridian splendour of the throne. + Yet was the Court a solitary waste; + Twelve lords alone the Royal chamber grac’d! + When BUTE, the good DEUCALION of the reign, + To gracious BRUNSWICK pray’d, nor pray’d in vain. 70 + For straight (oh goodness of the royal mind!) + Eight blocks, to dust and rubbish long confin’d, + Now wak’d by mandate from their trance of years, + Grew living creatures--just like other Peers. + Nor here his kindness ends--From wild debate 75 + And factious rage he guards his infant state. + Resolv’d alone his empire’s toils to bear, + “Be all men dull!” he cry’d, and dull they were. + Then sense was treason:--then with bloody claw + Exulting soar’d the vultures of the law: 80 + Then ruffians robb’d by ministerial writ, + And GRENVILLE plunder’d reams of useless wit, + While mobs got drunk ’till learning should revive, + And loudly bawl’d for WILKES and forty-five. + Next to WILL PITT he past, so sage, so young, 85 + So cas’d with wisdom, and so arm’d with tongue + His breast with every royal virtue full, + Yet, strange to tell, the minion of JOHN BULL. + Prepost’rous passion! say, what fiend possest, + Misguided youth, what phrenzy fir’d thy breast? 90 + ’Tis true, in senates, many a hopeful lad + Has rav’d in metaphor, and run stark mad; + His friend, the heir-apparent of MONTROSE, + Feels for his beak, and starts to find a nose; + Yet at these times preserve the little share 95 + Of sense and thought intrusted to their care; + While thou with ceaseless folly, endless labour, + Now coaxing JOHN, now flirting with his neighbour, + Hast seen thy lover from his bonds set free, + Damning the shop-tax, and himself, and thee. 100 + Now good MACPHERSON, whose prolific muse + Begets false tongues, false heroes, and false news, + Now frame new lies, now scrutinize thy brain, + And bring th’ inconstant to these arms again! + Next of the Yankeys’ fraud the master told, 105 + And GRENVILLE’s fondness for Hesperian gold; + And GRENVILLE’s friends, conspicuous from afar, + In mossy down incas’d, and bitter tar. + SIR CECIL next adorn’d the pompous song, + Led by his CÆLIA through th’ admiring throng, 110 + All CÆLIA’s sisters hail’d the prince of bards, + Reforming sailors bow’d, and patriot guards: + While thus SIR JOSEPH (his stupendious head + Crown’d with green-groc’ry, and with flow’rs o’erspread) + From the high hustings spoke--“This pipe be thine, 115 + This pipe, the fav’rite present of the Nine, + On which WILL WHITEHEAD play’d those powerful airs, + Which to ST. JAMES’s drew reluctant May’rs, + And forc’d stiff-jointed Aldermen to bend; + Sing thou on this thy SAL’SBURY, sing thy friend; 120 + Long may he live in thy protecting strains, + And HATFIELD vie with TEMPE’s fabled plains!” + Why should I tell th’ election’s horrid tale, + That scene of libels, riots, blood, and ale? + There of SAM HOUSE the horrid form appeared; 125 + Round his white apron howling monsters reared + Their angry clubs; mid broken heads they polled; + And HOOD’s best sailors in the kennel rolled; + Ah! why MAHON’s disastrous fate record? + Alas! how fear can change the fiercest lord! 130 + See the sad sequel of the grocers’ treat-- + Behold him darting up St. James’s-street, + Pelted, and scar’d by BROOKE’s hellish sprites, + And vainly fluttering round the door of WHITE’s! + All this, and more he told, and every word 135 + With silent awe th’ attentive striplings heard, + When, bursting on their ear, stern PEARSON’s note + Proclaim’d the question put, and called them forth to vote. + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 1. Prima Syracosio dignita est ludere versu, + Nostra nee erubuit sylvas habitare Thalia. + Cum canerem regis et prælia, Cynthius aurem + Vellit, et admonuit, &c. &c. + Ver. 11. Nunc ego (namque super tibi, erunt, qui dicere laudes + Vare, tuus cupiant, et tristia condere bella) + Sylvestrem tenui meditabor arundine musam. + Ver. 18. ---------Si quis tamen hæc quoque, siquis + Captus amore leget, te nostræ, Vare, myricæ + Te nemus omne canet, &c. + Ver. 23. ---------Chromis et Mnasylus in autro + Silenum pueri somno videre jacentem. + Ver. 29. Aggressi, nam sæpe senex spe carminis ambo + Luserat, injiciunt ex ipsis vincula sertis. + Ver. 35. Addit se sociam timidisque supervenit Ægle, + Ægle Naiadum pulcherrima. + Ver. 39. ----------Quid vincula nectitis? inquit, + Solvite me pueri---- + Carmina quæ vultis cognoscite, carmina vobis; + Huic aliud mercedis erit. + Ver. 43. Tum vero in numerurn faunosque ferasque videres, + Ludere, tum rigidas motare cacumina quercus. + Ver. 55. Nec tantum Phœbo gaudet Parnassia rupes, + Nec tantum Rhodope miratur et Ismarus Orphea. + Ver. 57. Namque canebat, uti magnum per inane coacta, + Semina terrarumque animæque marisque fuissent, + Et liquidi simul ignis: Ut his exordia primis + Omnia, et ipse tener mundi concreverit orbis. + Ver. 62. Incipiant sylvæ cum primum surgere------ + Jamque novum ut terræ stupeant lucescere solem. + Ver. 68. —————————————————————————-Cumque + Rara per ignotos errant animalia montes. + Ver. 69. Hinc lapides Pyrrhæ jactos---------- + Ver. 78. ------------Saturnia regna. + Ver. 81. Caucaseasque refert volucres: + Ver. 82. ------------Furtumque Promethei. + Ver. 84 ------------Hylan nautæ quo fonte relictum, + Clamassent ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret. + Ver. 88. Pasaphaen nivei solatur amore juvenci. + Ver. 89. Ah virgo infelix quæ te dementia cepit? + Ver. 93. Prætides implerunt falsis mugitibus agros. + Ver. 96. Et sæpe in lævi quæsissent cornua fronte, + At non, &c. + Ver. 99. Ille latus niveum, &c. + Ver. 101. ------Claudite nymphæ + Dictææ nymphæ, nemorum jam claudite saltus, + Si quâ forte ferant oculis sese obvia nostris, + Errabunda bovis vestigia. + Ver. 106. Tum canit Hesperidurn miratam mala puellant. + Ver. 108. Tum Phaetontiadas musco circumdat amaræ + Corticis, atque solo proceras erigit. + Ver. 109. Tum canit errantem------Gallum, + Aonas in montes ut duxerit una sororum, + Utque viro Phœbi chorus assurrexerit omnis; + Ut Linus hæc illi divino carmine pastor + Floribus, atque apio crines ornatus amaro, + Dixerit; hos tibi dant calamos, en accipe, musæ, + Ascræo quos ante seni, quibus ille solebat + Cantando rigidas deducere montibus ornos, &c. &c. &c. + Ver. 127. Quid loquar--Scyllum quam fama secuta est + Candida succinctam latrantibus inguina monstris + ------------------------gurgite in alto + Ah timidos nautas canibus lacerasse marinis. + Ver. 132. Aut ut mutatos Terei norraverit artus: + Quas illi Philomela dapes; quæ dona paravit, + Quo corsû deserta petiverit, & quibus ante + Infelix sua tecta supervolitæ erit alis. + + +NOTES. +Ver. 42. _To fair Pomana_, &c.] We are sorry to inform our readers, +that the promise which Mr. Jenkinson here intimates in favour of +the lady was, we fear, but the promise of a courtier. Truth obliges us +to declare, that having taken some pains to enquire into the facts, +we were assured by the lady herself, that she never received any +other gift, present, or compliment what-ever from Mr. Jenkinson. + +Ver. 68. Our Poet, for so careful a student of the Court Calendar, +as he must certainly be, is a little inaccurate here. The Lords of +the Bed-chamber were in truth thirteen, and seven only were added. +The numbers in the text were probably preserved as more euphonius. + +Ver. 101. _Good Macpherson_, &c.] This Ingenious gentleman, who first +signalized himself by a bombast translation of poems which never +existed, is now said occasionally to indulge his native genius for +fiction in paragraphs of poetical prose for some of our daily papers. + +Ver. 106. _Hesperian gold_.] The American revenue, which the late +Mr. Grenville was to have raised by his celebrated Stamp Act. Mr. +Jankinson, who was himself the author of that act, here delicately +touches an the true origin of the American war; a measure in which, +however unseccussful, we doubt not, he will ever be ready to glory. + +Ver. 110. SIR. CECIL’s poems to Cælia are well known; and we are +persuaded will live to preserve the fame of his talents, when his +admirable letter to the Scottish reformers, and his pamphlet on the +Westminster Election, shall be forgotten. + + * * * * * + +JEKYLL. + + ----------------------------miserabile Carmen + Integrat, & mæstis latè loca questibus implet.--VIRGIL. + + + Jekyll, the wag of law, the scribblers pride, + Calne to the senate sent--when TOWNSHEND died. + So LANSDOWNE will’d:--the old hoarse rook at rest, + A jackdaw phœnix chatters from his nest. + Statesman and lawyer now, with clashing cares, 5 + Th’ important youth roams thro’ the Temple squares; + Yet stays his step, where, with congenial play, + The well-known fountain babbles day by day: + The little fountain:--whose restricted course, + In low faint Essays owns its shallow sourse. 10 + There, to the tinkling jet he tun’d his tongue, + While LANSDOWNE’s fame, and LANSDOWNE’s fall, he sung. + “Where were our friends, when the remorseless crew + Of felon whigs--great LANSDOWNE’s pow’r o’erthrew? + For neither then, within St. Stephen’s wall 15 + Obedient WESTCOTE hail’d the Treasury-call; + Nor treachery then had branded EDEN’s fame, + Or taught mankind the miscreant MINCHIN’s name, + Joyful no more (tho’ TOMMY spoke so long) + Was high-born HOWARD’s cry, or POWNEY’s prattling tongue. 20 + Vain was thy roar, MAHON!--tho’ loud and deep; + Not our own GILBERT could be rous’d from sleep. + No bargain yet the tribe of PHIPPS had made: + LANSDOWNE! you sought in vain ev’n MULGRAVE’s aid; + MULGRAVE--at whose harsh scream in wild surprise, 25 + The _speechless_ Speaker lifts his drowsy eyes. + Ah! hapless day! still as thy hours return, + Let Jesuits, Jews, and sad Dissenters mourn! + Each quack and sympathizing juggler groan, + While bankrupt brokers echo moan for moan. 30 + Oh! much-lov’d peer!--my patron!--model!--friend! + How does thy alter’d state my bosom rend. + Alas! the ways of courts are strange and dark! + PITT scarce would make thee now-a Treasury-clerk!” + Stung with the maddening thought, his griefs, his fears 35 + Dissolve the plaintiff councellor in tears. + “How oft,” he cries, “has wretched LANSDOWNE said; + _Curs’d be the toilsome hours by statesmen led! + Oh! had kind heaven ordain’d my humbler fate + A country gentleman’s--of small estate-- 40 + With_ Price _and_ Priestly _in some distant grove, + Blest I had led the lowly life I love. + Thou_, Price, _had deign’d to calculate my flocks! + Thou_, Priestley! _sav’d them from the lightning shocks! + Unknown the storms and tempests of the state---- 45 + Unfelt the mean ambition to be great; + In_ Bowood’s _shade had passed my peaceful days, + Far from the town and its delusive ways; + The crystal brook my beverage--and my food + Hips, carnels, haws, and berries of the wood_.” 50 + “Blest peer! eternal wreaths adorn thy brow! + Thou CINCINNATU’s of the British plough! + But rouse again thy talents and thy zeal! + Thy Sovereign, sure, must wish thee _Privy-seal_. + Or, what if from the seals thou art debarr’d? 55 + CHANDOS, at least, he might for thee discard. + Come, LANSDOWNE! come--thy life no more thy own, + Oh! brave again the smoke and noise of town: + For Britain’s sake, the weight of greatness bear, + And suffer honours thou art doom’d to wear.” 60 + To _thee_ her Princes, lo! where India sends! + All BENFIELD’s here--and there all HASTINGS’ friends; + MACPHERSON--WRAXALL--SULLIVAN--behold! + CALL--BARWELL--MIDDLETON--with heaps of gold! + Rajahs--Nabobs--from Oude--Tanjore--Arcot-- 65 + And see!--(nor oh! disdain him!)--MAJOR SCOTT. + Ah! give the Major but one gracious nod: + Ev’n PITT himself once deign’d to court the squad. + “Oh! be it _theirs_, with more than patriot heat, + To snatch their virtues from their lov’d retreat: 70 + Drag thee reluctant to the haunts of men, + And make the minister--Oh! God!--but when!” + Thus mourn’d the youth--’till, sunk in pensive grief, + He woo’d his handkerchief for soft relief. + In either pocket either hand he threw; 75 + When, lo!--from each, a precious tablet flew. + This--his sage patron’s wond’rous speech on trade: + This--his own book of sarcasms ready made. + Tremendous book!--thou motley magazine + Of stale severities, and pilfer’d spleen! 80 + O! rich in ill!--within thy leaves entwin’d, + What glittering adders lurk to sting the mind. + Satire’s _Museum_!--with SIR ASHTON’s lore, + The naturalist of malice eyes thy store: + Ranging, with fell Virtû, his poisonous tribes 85 + Of embryo sneers, and anamalcule gibes. + Here insect puns their feeble wings expand + To speed, in little flights, their lord’s command: + There, in their paper chrysalis, he sees + Specks of bon mots, and eggs of repartees. 90 + In modern spirits ancient wit he steeps; + If not its gloss, the reptile’s venom keeps: + Thy quaintness’ DUNNING! but without thy sense: + And just enough of B------t, for offence. + On these lov’d leaves a transient glance he threw: 95 + But weighter themes his anxious thoughts pursue. + Deep senatorial pomp intent to reach, + With ardent eyes he hangs o’er LANSDOWNE’s speech. + Then, loud the youth proclaims the enchanting words + That charm’d the “noble natures” of the lords, 100 + “_Lost and obscured in_ Bowood’_s humble bow’r, + No party tool--no candidate for pow’r-- + I come, my lords! an hermit from my cell, + A few blunt truths in my plain style to tell. + Highly I praise your late commercial plan; 105 + Kingdoms should all unite--like man and man. + The_ French _love peace--ambition they detest; + But_ Cherburg’_s frightful works deny me rest. + With joy I see new wealth for Britain shipp’d_, + Lisbon’s a froward child and should be whipp’d. 110 + _Yet_ Portugal’_s our old and best ally, + And _Gallic_ faith is but a slender tie, + My lords! the_ manufacturer’_s a fool; + The_ clothier, _too, knows nothing about wool; + Their interests still demand syr constant care_; 115 + Their _griefs are_ mine--their _fears are_ my _despair. + My lords! my soul is big with dire alarms_; + Turks, Germans, Russians, Prussians, _all in arms! + A noble_ Pole _(I’m proud to call him friend!) + Tells me of things I cannot comprehend. 120 + Your lordship’s hairs would stand on end to hear + My last dispatches from the_ Grand Vizier. + _The fears of_ Dantzick-merchants _can’t be told; + Accounts from_ Cracow _make my blood run cold. + The state of_ Portsmouth_, and of_ Plymouth Docks, 125 + _Your Trade--your Taxes--Army--Navy--Stocks-- + All haunt me in my dreams; and, when I rise, + The bank of England scares my open eyes. + I see--I know some dreadful storm is brewing; + Arm all your coasts_--your navy is your ruin. 130 + _I say it still; but (let me be believed) + In_ this _your lordships have been much deceiv’d. + A_ noble Duke _affirms, I like his plan: + I never did, my lords!--I never can-- + Shame on the slanderous breath! which dares instill 135 + That I, who now condemn, advis’d the ill_. + Plain words, _thank Heav’n! are always understood: + I_ could _approve, I said--but not I_ wou’d. + _Anxious to make the_ noble Duke _content, } + My view was just to seem to give consent, 140 } + While all the world might see that nothing less was meant._” } + While JEKYLL thus, the rich exhaustless store + Of LANSDOWNE’s rhetoric ponders o’er and o’er; + And, wrapt in happier dreams of future days, + His patron’s triumphs in his own surveys; 145 + Admiring barristers in crouds resort + From Figtree--Brick--Hare--Pump--and Garden court. + Anxious they gaze--and watch with silent awe + The motley son of politics and law. + Meanwhile, with softest smiles and courteous bows, 150 + He, graceful bending, greets their ardent vows. + “Thanks, generous friends,” he cries, “kind Templers, thanks! + Tho’ now, with LANSDOWNE’s band your JEKYLL ranks, + Think not, he wholly quits _black-letter_ cares; + Still--still the _lawyer_ with the _statesman_ shares.” 155 + But, see! the shades of night o’erspread the skies! + Thick fogs and vapours from the Thames arise. + Far different hopes our separate toils inspire: + To _parchment_ you, and _precedent_ retire. + With deeper bronze your darkest looks imbrown, 160 + Adjust your brows for the _demurring_ frown: + Brood o’er the fierce _rebutters_ of the bar, + And brave the _issue_ of the gowned war. + Me, all unpractis’d in the bashful mood, + Strange, novice thoughts, and alien cares delude. 165 + Yes, _modest_ Eloquence! ev’n _I_ must court + For once, with mimic vows, thy coy support; + Oh! would’st thou lend the semblance of my charms! + Feign’d agitations, and assum’d alarms! + ’Twere all I’d ask:--but for one day alone 170 + To ape thy downcast look--my suppliant tone: + To pause--and bow with hesitating grace-- + Here try to faulter--there a word misplace: + Long-banish’d blushes this pale cheek to teach, + And act the miseries of a _maiden speech_. 175 + + + + +PROBATIONARY +ODES +FOR +_THE LAUREATSHIP:_ +WITH +A PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +SIR JOHN HAWKINS, KNT. + + + + +PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +THE EDITOR. + +Having, in the year seventeen hundred and seventy-six, put forth +A HISTORY OF MUSIC, in five volumes quarto (which buy), +notwithstanding my then avocations as Justice of the Peace for the +county of Middlesex and city and liberty of Westminster; I, Sir John +Hawkins, of Queen-square, Westminster, Knight, do now, being still of +sound health and understanding, esteem it my bounden duty to +step forward as Editor and Revisor of THE PROBATIONARY ODES. +My grand reason for undertaking so arduous a task is this: I do +from my soul believe that Lyric Poetry is the own, if not twin sister +of Music; wherefore, as I had before gathered together every thing +that any way relates to the one, with what consistency could I forbear +to collate the best effusions of the other?--I should premise, +that in volume the first of my quarto history, chap. i. page 7, +I lay it down as a principle never to be departed from, that, “_The +Lyre is the prototype of the fidicinal species_.” And accordingly +I have therein discussed at large, both the origin, and various +improvements of the Lyre, from the Tortoise-shell scooped and strung +by Mercury on the banks of the Nile, to the Testudo, exquisitely +polished by Terpander, and exhibited to the Ægyptian Priests. +I have added also many choice engravings of the various antique Lyres, +viz. the Lyre of Goats-horns, the Lyre of Bullshorns, the Lyre +of Shells, and the Lyre of both Shells and Horns compounded; +from all which, I flatter myself, I have indubitably proved the Lyre +to be very far superior to the shank bone of a crane, or any other +Pike, Fistula, or Calamus, either of Orpheus’s or Linus’s invention; +ay, or even the best of those pulsatile instruments, commonly known by +the denomination of the drum. + +Forasmuch, therefore, as all this was finally proved and established +by my History of Music, I say, I hold it now no alien task to somewhat +turn my thoughts to the late divines specimens of Lyric Minstrelsy. +For although I may be deemed the legal guardian of MUSIC alone, +and consequently not in strictness bound to any farther duty than +that of her immediate Wardship (see Burn’s Justice, article Guardian), +yet surely, in equity and liberal feeling, I cannot but think myself +very forcibly incited to extend this tutelage to her next of kin; +in which degree I hold every individual follower of THE LYRIC MUSE, +but more especially all such part of them, as have devoted, or do +devote their strains to the celebration of those best of themes, +the reigning King and the current year; or in other words, of all +Citharistæ Regis, Versificators Coronæ, Court Poets, or as we now +term them, Poets Laureats.--Pausanias tells us, that it pleased +the God of Poets himself, by an express oracle, to order the +inhabitants of Delphi to set apart for Pindar one half of the first +fruit offerings brought by the religious to his shrine, and to allow +him a place in his temple, where, in an iron chair, he was used +to sit and sing his hymns in honour of that God. Would to heaven +that the Bench of Bishops would, in some degree, adopt this +excellent idea!--or at least that the Dean and Chapter of Westminster, +and the other Managers of the Abbey Music Meetings, would in future +allot the occasional vacancies of Madame Mara’s seat in the Cathedral +Orchestra, for the reception of the reigning Laureat, during +the performance of that favourite constitutional ballad, “May the King +live for ever!” It must be owned, however, that the Laureatship is +already a very kingly settlement; one hundred a year, together with +a tierce of Canary, or a butt of sack, are surely most princely +endowments, for the honour of literature and the advancement of +poetical genius. And hence (thank God and the King for it!) there +scarcely ever has been wanting some great and good man both willing +and able to supply so important a charge.--At one time we find that +great immortal genius, Mr. Thomas Shadwell (better known by the +names of Og and Mac Flecknoe), chanting the prerogative praises +of that blessed æra.--At a nearer period, we observe the whole force +of Colley Cibber’s genius devoted to the labours of the same +reputable employment.--And finally, in the example of a Whitehead’s +Muse, expatiating on the virtues of our gracious Sovereign, have we +not beheld the best of Poets, in the best of Verses, doing ample +justice to the best of Kings!--The fire of Lyric Poesy, the rapid +lightening of modern Pindarics, were equally required to record the +Virtues of the Stuarts, or to immortalize the Talents of a +Brunswick.--On either theme there was ample subject for the boldest +flights of inventive genius, the full scope for the most daring powers +of poetical creation; from the free, unfettered strain of liberty +in honour of Charles the First, to the kindred Genius and congenial +Talents that immortalize the Wisdom and the Worth of George the +Third.--But on no occasion has the ardour for prerogative panegyrics so +conspicuously flamed forth, as on the late election for succeeding +to Mr. Whitehead’s honours. To account for this unparalleled struggle, +let us recollect, that the ridiculous reforms of the late Parliament +having cut off many gentlemanly offices, it was a necessary +consequence that the few which were spared, became objects of rather +more emulation than usual. Besides, there is a decency and regularity +in producing at fixed and certain periods of the year, the same +settled quantity of metre on the same unalterable subjects, which +cannot fail to give a particular attraction to the Office of the +Laureatship, at a crisis like the present.--It is admitted, that we +are now in possession of much sounder judgment, and more regulated +taste, than our ancestors had any idea of; and hence, does it not +immediately follow, that the occupancy of a poetical office, which, +from its uniformity of subject and limitation of duty, precludes all +hasty extravagance of style, as well as any plurality of efforts, +is sure to be a more pleasing object than ever to gentlemen of +regular habits and a becoming degree of literary indolence? Is it not +evident too, that in compositions of this kind, all fermentation of +thought is certain in a very short time to subside and settle into +mild and gentle composition--till at length the possessors of this +grave and orderly office prepare their stipulated return of metre, +by as proportionate and gradual exertions, as many other classes of +industrious tenants provide for the due payment of their particular +rents? Surely it is not too much to say, that the business of Laureat +to his Majesty is, under such provision, to the full as ingenious, +reputable, and regular a trade, as that of Almanack Maker to the +Stationer’s Company. The contest therefore for so excellent an office, +having been warmer in the late instance than at any preceding period, +is perfectly to be accounted for; especially too at a time, when, +from nobler causes, the Soul of Genius may reasonably be supposed +to kindle into uncommon enthusiasm, at a train of new and unexampled +prodigies. In an age of Reform; beneath the mild sway of a British +Augustus; under the Ministry of a pure immaculate youth; the Temple +of Janus shut; the Trade of Otaheite open; not an angry American to +be heard of, except the Lottery Loyalists; the fine Arts in full +Glory; Sir William Chambers the Royal Architect; Lord Sydney a Cabinet +Minister!--What a golden æra!--From this auspicious moment, Peers, +Bishops, Baronets, Methodists, Members of Parliament, Chaplains, +all genuine Beaux Esprits, all legitimate heirs of Parnassus, +rush forward, with unfeigned ardour, to delight the world by the +united efforts of liberal genius and constitutional loyalty.--The +illustrious candidates assemble--the wisest of Earls sits as Judge--the +archest of Buffos becomes his assessor--the Odes are read--the election +is determined--how justly is not for us to decide. To the great +Tribunal of the public the whole of this important contest is now +submitted.--Every document that can illustrate, every testimony that +tends to support the respective merits of the Probationers, is +impartially communicated to the world of letters.--Even the Editor of +such a collection may hope for some reversionary fame from the humble, +but not inglorious task, of collecting the scattered rays of +Genius.--At the eve of a long laborious life, devoted to a sister Muse +(vide my History, printed for T. Payne and Son, at the Mews-Gate), +possibly it may not wholly appear an irregular vanity, if I sometimes +have entertained a hope, that my tomb may not want the sympathetic +record of Poetry--I avow my motive.-- + +It is with this expectation I appear as an Editor on the present +occasion.--The Authors whose compositions I collect for public notice +are twenty-three. The odds of survivorship, according to Doctor Price +are, that thirteen of these will outlive me, myself being in class +III. of his ingenious tables.--Surely, therefore, it is no mark of +that sanguine disposition which my enemies have been pleased to +ascribe to me, if I deem it possible that some one of the same +thirteen will requite my protection of their harmonious effusions with +a strain of elegiac gratitude, saying, possibly (pardon me, ye +Survivors that may be, for presuming to hint the thought to minds so +richly fraught as yours are) saying, I say, + + Here lies Sir John Hawkins, + Without his shoes or stockings![1] + +[1] Said Survivors are not bound to said Rhime, if not agreeable. + + + + +[The Following excellent observations on the LYRIC STYLE, have been +kindly communicated to the EDITOR by the REV. THOMAS WARTON.--They +appear to have been taken almost verbatim from several of the former +works of that ingenious author; but chiefly from his late edition +of _Milten’s Minora_. We sincerely hope, therefore, that they may +serve the double purpose of enriching the present collection, and of +attracting the public attention to that very critical work from which +they are principally extracted.] + + +THOUGHTS ON ODE WRITING. + + +ΩΔΗ Μολπη Carmen, Cantus, Cantilena, Chanson, Canzone, all +signify what, Anglicè, we denominate ODE--Among the Greeks, Pindar; +among the Latins, Horace; with the Italians, Petrarch; with the +French, Boileau; are the principes hujusce scientiæ--Tom Killegrew +took the lead in English Lyrics; and, indeed, till our own Mason, was +nearly unrivalled--Josephus Miller too hath penned something of +the Odaic, _inter_ his _Opera Minora_. My grandfather had a M.S. Ode +on a Gilliflower, the which, as our family had it, was an _esquisse_ +of Gammer Gurton’s; and I myself have seen various Cantilenes of +Stephen Duck’s of a pure relish--Of Shadwell, time hath little +impaired the fame--Colley’s Bays rust cankereth not--Dr. Casaubon +measures the Strophe by Anapæsts--In the Polyglott, the epitrotus +primus is the metrimensura.--I venture to recommend “Waly, waly, +up the Bank,” as no bad model of the pure Trochaic--There is also a +little simple strain, commencing “Saw ye my father, saw ye my mother;” +which to my fancy, gives an excellent ratio of hendecasyllables.--Dr. +Warton indeed prefers the Adonic, as incomparably the neatest, ay, and +the newest μολπης μετρον----A notion too has prevailed, that the Black +Joke, or Μελαμφυλλαι Δαφναι is not the “Cosa deta in prosa mai, ne in +rima;” whereas the _Deva Cestrensis_, or Chevy Chase, according to Dr. +Joseph Warton, is the exemplar of + + Trip and go, + Heave and hoe, + Up and down, + To and fro. + +Vide Nashe’s Summer’s Last Will and Testament, 1600. + +I observe that Ravishment is a favourite word with Milton, Paradise +Lost, B. V. 46. Again, B. IX. 541. Again, Com. V. 245.--Spenser has +it also in Astrophel. st. 7.--Whereof I earnestly recommend early +rising to all minor Poets, as far better than sleeping to concoct +surfeits. Vid. Apology for Smectymnuus.--For the listening to +Throstles or Thrushes, awaking the _lustless_ Sun, is an unreproved +or innocent pastime: As also are _cranks_, by which I understood +cross purposes. Vid. my Milton, 41.--“_Filling a wife with a daughter +fair_,” is not an unclassical notion (vid. my Milton, 39), if, +according to Sir Richard Brathwaite, “She had a dimpled chin, +made for love to lodge within” (vid. my Milton, 41). “While the +_cock_,” vid. the same, 44.--Indeed, “My mother said I could be no +_lad_, till I was twentye,” is a passage I notice in my Milton with a +view to this; which see; and therein also of a shepherdess, “_taking +the tale_.”--’Twere well likewise if Bards learned the Rebeck, +or Rebible, being a species of Fiddle; for it solaceth the fatigued +spirit much; though to say the truth, we have it; ’tis present death +for Fiddlers to tune their Rebecks, or Rebibles, before the great +Turk’s grace. However, _Middteton’s Game of Chess_ is good for a Poet +to peruse, having quaint phrases fitting _to be married to immortal +verse_. JOSHUA POOLE, of Clare-hall, I also recommend as an apt guide +for an alumnus of the Muse.--Joshua edited a choice Parnassus, 1657, +in the which I find many “delicious, mellow hangings” of poesy.--He +is undoubtedly a “sonorous dactylist”--and to him I add Mr. Jenner, +Proctor of the Commons, and Commissary of St. Paul’s, who is a +gentleman of indefatigable politeness in opening the Archives of a +Chapter-house for the delectation of a sound critic. _Tottell’s Songs +and Sonnets of uncertain Auctoures_ is likewise a _butful_, or +plenteous work. I conclude with assuring the Public, that my brother +remembers to have heard my father tell his (i.e. my brother’s) first +wife’s second cousin, that he, once, at Magdalen College, Oxford, had +it explained to him, that the famous passage “His reasons are as two +grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff,” has no sort of reference +to verbal criticism and stale quotations. + + + + +RECOMMENDATORY +TESTIMONIES. + +[According to the old and laudable usage of Editors, we shall now +present our Readers with the judgments of the learned concerning +our Poets.--These Testimonies, if they proceed from critical pens, +cannot fail to have due influence on all impartial observers. +They _pass_ an author from one end of the kingdom to the other, +as rapidly as the pauper Certificates of Magistracy.--Indeed, +it were much to be wished, that as we have no State Licenser of +Poetry, it might at least be made penal, to put forth rhymes without +previously producing a certain number of sureties for their goodness +and utility; which precaution, if assisted with a few other +regulations, such as requiring all Practitioners in Verse to take +out a License, in the manner of many other Dealers in Spirits, &c. +could not fail to introduce good order among this class of authors, +and also to bring in a handsome sum towards the aid of the public +revenue.--Happy indeed will be those Bards, who are supplied with +as reputable vouchers as those which are here subjoined.] + + +_Testimonies of Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY’_s good Parts for Poetry_. + + +MISS HANNAH MORE. + +“Sir JOSEPH, with the gentlest sympathy, begged me to contrive +that he should meet _Lactilla_, in her morning walk, towards the +Hot-Wells. I took the proper measures for this _tête-à-tête_ between +my two _naturals_, as I call this uneducated couple.--It succeeded +beyond my utmost hopes.--For the first ten minutes they exchanged +a world of simple observations on the different species of the brute +creation, to which each had most obligations.--Lactilla praised +her Cows--Sir Joseph his Hogs.--An artless eclogue, my dear madam, +but warm from the heart.--At last the Muse took her turn on the +_tapis_ of simple dialogue.--In an instant both kindled into all the +fervors--the delightful fervors, that are better imagined than +described.--Suffice it to relate the sequel--_Lactilla_ pocketed a +generous half-crown, and Sir Joseph was inchanted! Heavens! what would +this amiable Baronet have been, with the education of a curate?” + + _Miss Hannah More’s Letter to the Duchess of Chandos._ + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ JONAS HANWAY, _Esq_. + +“In short, these poor children who are employed in sweeping our +chimnies, are not treated half so well as so many black Pigs--nor, +indeed, a hundredth part so well, where the latter have the good +fortune to belong to a benevolent master, such as Sir Joseph MAWBEY--a +man who, notwithstanding he is a bright Magistrate, a diligent Voter +in Parliament, and a chaste husband, is nevertheless author of not a +few fancies in the poetical way.” + + _Thoughts on our savage Treatment of Chimney-sweepers_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimonies in Favour of Sir_ CECIL WRAY, _Bart_. + +DR. STRATFORD[1]. + + ALCANDER, thou’rt a God, more than a God! + Thou’rt pride of all the Gods--thou mount’st by woes-- + Hell squeaks, Eurus and Auster shake the skies-- + Yet shall thy barge dance through the hissing wave, + And on the foaming billows float to heaven! + + _Epistle to Sir Cecil Wray, under the + Character of Alcander_. + +[1] Author of 58 Tragedies, only one of which, to the disgrace +of our Theatres, has yet appeared. + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ MRS. GEORGE ANNE BELLAMY. + +“I was sitting one evening (as indeed I was wont to do when out +of cash) astride the ballustrade of Westminster-bridge, with my +favourite little dog under my arm. I had that day parted with +my diamond windmill.--Life was never very dear to me--but a +thousand thoughts then rushed into my heart, to jump this world, +and spring into eternity.--I determined that my faithful Pompey +should bear me company.--I pressed him close, and actually stretched +out, fully resolved to plunge into the stream; when, luckily +(ought I to call it so?) that charming fellow (for such he then was), +Sir Cecil WRAY, catching hold of Pompey’s tail, pulled him back, +and with him pulled back me.--In a moment I found myself in a +clean hackney-coach, drawn by grey horses, with a remarkable +civil coachman, fainting in my Cecil’s arms; and though I then +lost a little diamond pin, yet (contrary to what I hear has been +asserted) I NEVER prosecuted that gallant Baronet; who, in less +than a fortnight after, with his usual wit and genius, dispatched me +the following extempore poem: + + While you prepar’d, dear Anne, on Styx to sail-- + Lo! one dog sav’d you by another’s tail. + +To which, in little more than a month, I penned, and sent the +following reply: + + You pinch’d my dog, ’tis true, and check’d my sail-- + But then my pin--ah, there you squeezed _my_ tail. + + _Ninth volume of Mrs. George Anne Bellamy’s Apology, + now preparing for the press_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the great Parts of_ CONSTANTINE, LORD MULGRAVE, +_and his Brethren_. + +MR. BOSWELL. + +“Among those who will vote for continuing the old established +number of our Session Justices, may I not count on the tribe +of Phipps.--they love good places; and I know Mulgrave is a bit +of a poet as well as myself; for I dined in company once, where he +dined that very day twelvemonth. My excellent wife, who is a true +Montgomery, and whom I like now as well as I did twenty years ago, +adores the man who felt for the maternal pangs of a whelpless bear. +For my own part, however, there is no action I more constantly +ridicule, than his Lordship’s preposterous pity for those very +sufferings which he himself occasioned, by ordering his sailors +to shoot the young bears.----But though _I_ laugh at _him_, how +handsome will it be if _he_ votes against Dundas to oblige _me_. +My disliking him and his family is no reason for his disliking me--on +the contrary, if he opposes us, is it not probable that that great +young man, whom I sincerely adore, may say, in his own lofty language, +“Mulgrave, Mulgrave, don’t vex the Scotch!--don’t provoke ’em! God +damn your ugly head!--if we don’t crouch to Bute, we shall all be +turned out; God eternally damn you for a stupid boar! I know we shall! +Pardon me, great Sir, for presuming to forge the omnipotent bolts of +your Incomparable thunder.” + + _Appendix to Mr. Baswell’s Pamphlet on the Scotch Judges._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXALL, _Esq. his great Merit._ + +LORD MONBODDO. + +“Since I put forth my last volume, I have read the excellent Ode +of Mr. Wraxall, and was pleased to find that bold apostrophe in +his delicious lyric, + + “Hail, Ouran Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi!” + + +“My principles are now pretty universally known; but on this occasion +I will repeat them succinctly. I believe, from the bottom of my soul, +that all mankind are absolute Ouran Outangs. That the feudal tenures +are the great cause of our not retaining the perfect appearance of +Ourans--That human beings originally moved on all fours--That we +had better move in the same way again--That there has been giants +ninety feet high--That such giants ought to have moved on all +fours--That we all continue to be Ouran Outangs still--some more so, +some less--but that Nathaniel William WRAXALL, Esq. is the truest +Ouran Outang in Great Britain, and therefore ought immediately +to take to all fours, and especially to make all his motions +in Parliament in that way.” + + _Postscript to Lard Monboddo’s Ancient Metaphysics._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the Great Powers for Poesy, innate in_ MICHAEL ANGELO +TAYLOR, _Esq_. + +DR. BURNEY. + +I shall myself compose Mr. Taylor’s Ode----His merit I admire----his +origin I have traced.--He is descended from Mr. John Taylor, the +famous Water Poet, who with good natural talents, never proceeded +farther in education than his accidence.--John Taylor was born in +Gloucestershire.--I find that he was bound apprentice to a +Waterman--but in process of time kept a public house in Phœnix-alley, +Long-acre[1]. Read John’s modest recital of his humble culture-- + + “I must confess I do want eloquence, + And never scarce did learn my Accidence; + For having got from Possum to Posset, + I there was gravell’d, nor could farther get.” + +John wrote fourscore books, but died in 1654. Here you have John’s +Epitaph-- + + “Here lies the Water Poet, honest John, + Who rowed on the streams of Helicon; + Where, having many rocks and dangers past, + He at the haven of heav’n arrived at last.” + +There is a print of John, holding an oar in one hand, and an empty +purse in the other.--Motto--_Et habeo_, meaning the oar--_Et careo_, +meaning the cash.--It is too bold a venture to predict a close analogy +’twixt _John_ and _Michael_--Sure am I, + + If Michael goeth on, as Michael hath begun, + Michael will equal be to famous Taylor John. + +I shall publish both the Taylor’s works, with the score of Michael’s +Ode, some short time hence, in as thin a quarto as my Handel’s +Commemoration, price one guinea in boards, with a view of John’s +house in Phœnix-alley, and Sir Robert’s carriage, as Sheriff of +London and Middlesex. + +[1] This anecdote was majestically inserted in my manuscript copy +of Handel’s Commemoration, by that Great Personage to whose judgment +I submitted it. (I take every occasion of shewing the insertion as +a good puff.--I wish, however, the same hand had subscribed for +the book..) I did not publish any of the said alterations in that +work, reserving some of them for my edition of _The Tayloria_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony for_ PEPPER ARDEN, _Esq.--In Answer to a Case for the +Opinion of_ GEORGE HARDINGE, _Esq. Attorney General to her Majesty._ + +I have perused this Ode, and find it containeth _eight hundred_ +and _forty-seven_ WORDS--_two thousand one hundred_ and _four_ +SYLLABLES--_four thousand three hundred_ and _forty-four_ +LETTERS[1].--It is, therefore, my opinion, that said Ode is a good and +complete title to all those fees, honours, perquisites, emoluments, and +gratuities, usually annexed, adjunct to, and dependant on, the office +of Poet Laureat, late in the occupation of William Whitehead, Esq. +defunct. + + G. HARDINGE. + +[1] See the learned Gentleman’s arithmetical Speech on the Westminster +Scrutiny. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of Sir_ RICHARD HILL, _Bart_. + +LORD GEORGE GORDON. + +_To the_ EDITOR _of the_ PUBLIC ADVERTISER. + +MR. PRINTER, +I call upon all the Privy Council, Charles Jenkinson, Mr. Bond, +and the Lord Mayor of London, to protect my person from the Popish +Spies set over me by the Cabinet of William Pitt.--On Thursday ult. +having read the Ode of my friend, Sir Richard, in a print amicable +to my Protestant Brethren, and approving it, I accordingly visited +that pious Baronet, who, if called on, will verify the same.--I then +told Sir Richard what I now repeat, that George the Third ought to +send away all Papist Ambassadors.----I joined Sir Richard, Lady Hill, +and her cousin, in an excellent hymn, turned from the 1st of Matthew, +by Sir Richard.--I hereby recommend it to the eighty Societies of +Protestants in Glasgow, knowing it to be sound orthodox truth; for +that purpose, Mr. Woodfall, I now entrust it to your special care, +conjuring you to print it, as you hope to be saved. + + Salmon begat Booz-- + Booz begat Obed-- + Obed begat Jesse, so as + Jesse begat David. + + AMEN. + + And I am, Sir, + Your humble Servant, + GEO. GORDON. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT’_s Poetical Talents._ + +WARREN HASTINGS, _Esq._ + +_In an Extract from a private Letter to a Great Personage._ + +“I trust, therefore, that the rough diamonds will meet with your +favourable construction. They will be delivered by my excellent +friend, Major John Scott, who, in obedience to my orders, has taken +a seat in Parliament, and published sundry tracts on my integrity. +I can venture to recommend him as an impenetrable arguer, no man’s +propositions flowing in a more deleterious stream; no man’s +expressions so little hanging on the thread of opinion.--He has it in +command to compose the best and most magnificent Ode on your Majesty’s +birthday. + + “What can I say more?” + + + + +A FULL AND TRUE +ACCOUNT +OF THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON’S ASCENSION +FROM +CHRIST-CHURCH MEADOW, OXFORD, + +(In the Balloon of James Sadler, Pastry-Cook to the said University) +on Friday the 20th of May, 1785, for the purpose of composing +a sublime ODE in honour of his Majesty’s Birth-day; attested +before JOHN WEYLAND, Esq. one of his Majesty’s Justices of the Peace +for the County of Oxford.[1] + +It was in obedience to the advice of my brother, Dr. Joseph Warton, +that I came to a determination, on the fifth of May ult. to compose +my first Birth-day Ode, at the elevation of one mile above the earth, +in the Balloon of my ingenious friend, Mr. James Sadler, of this city. +Accordingly, having agreed for the same, at a very moderate rate +per hour (I paying all charges of inflating, and standing to repairs), +at nine in the morning, on Friday, the 28th of said month, I repaired +to Christ-church meadow, with my ballast, provisions, cat, speaking +trumpet, and other necessaries.--It was my first design to have +invited Dr. Joseph to have ascended with me; but apprehending the +malicious construction that might follow on this, as if, forsooth, +my intended ode was to be a joint production, I e’en made up my mind +to mount alone.--My provisions principally consisted of a small pot +of stewed prunes, and half of a plain diet-bread cake, both prepared, +and kindly presented to me, by the same ingenious hand which had +fabricated the Balloon. I had also a small subsidiary stock, viz. +a loaf of Sandwiches, three bottles of old ale, a pint of brandy, +a sallad ready mixed, a roll of collared eel, a cold goose, six +damson tartlets, a few china oranges, and a roasted pig of the +Chinese breed; together with a small light barometer, and a proper +store of writing utensils; but no note, memorandum, nor loose hint +of any kind, so help me God!----My ascension was majestic, to an +uncommon degree of tardiness. I was soon constrained, therefore, +to lighten my Balloon, by throwing out some part of my ballast, +which consisted of my own History of Poetry, my late edition of +Milton’s Minora, my Miscellaneous Verses, Odes, Sonnets, Elegies, +Inscriptions, Monodies, and Complaints; my Observations on Spencer, +the King’s last Speech, and Lord Montmorres’s pamphlet on the +Irish Resolutions. On throwing out his Lordship’s Essay, the Balloon +sprang up surprisingly; but the weight of my provisions still +retarding the elevation, I was fain to part with both volumes of +my Spencer, and all of my last edition of Poems, except those that +are marked with an asterisk, as never before printed: which very +quickly accelerated my ascension. I now found the barometer had +fallen four inches and six lines, in eight minutes.--In less than +eleven minutes after I had ascended very considerably indeed, +the barometer having then fallen near seventeen inches; and presently +after I entered a thick black cloud, which I have since found +rendered me wholly obscured to all observation. In this situation. +I lost no time to begin my Ode; and, accordingly, in the course +of twenty-five minutes, I produced the very lines which now commence +it. The judicious critic will notice, that absence of the plain +and trite style which mark the passage I refer to; nor am I so +uncandid to deny the powerful efficacy of mist, darkness, and +obscurity, on the sublime and mysterious topics I there touch on--It +cannot fail also to strike the intelligent observer, that the +expression so much commented on, of “_No echoing car_,” was obviously +suggested by that very car in which I myself was then seated--Finding, +however, that, together with the increased density of the +overshadowing cloud, the coldness also was proportionally increased, +so as at one time to freeze my ink completely over for near twenty +minutes, I thought it prudent, by means of opening the valve at the +vortex of my Balloon, to emit part of the ascending power. This +occasioned a proportioned descent very speedily: but I must not +overlook a phænomenon which had previously occurred.----It was this: +on a sudden the nibs of all my pens (and I took up forty-eight, in +compliment to the number of my Sovereign’s years) as if attracted by +the polar power, pointed upwards, each pen erecting itself +perpendicular, and resting on the point of its feather: I found also, +to my no small surprize, that during the whole of this period, every +one of my letters was actually cut topsy-turvy-wise; which I the +rather mention, to account for any appearance of a correspondent +inversion in the course of my ideas at that period. + +On getting nearer the earth, the appearances I have described +altogether ceased, and I instantly penned the second division of +my Ode; I mean that which states his most excellent Majesty to be +the patron of the fine arts. But here (for which I am totally at +a loss to account) I found myself descending so very rapidly, that +even after I had thrown out not only two volumes of my History +of Poetry, but also a considerable portion of my pig, I struck, +nevertheless, with such violence on the weather-cock of a church, +that unless I had immediately parted with the remainder of my ballast, +excepting only his Majesty’s Speech, one pen, the paper of my Ode, +and a small ink-bottle, I must infallibly have been a-ground. +Fortunately, by so rapid a discharge, I procured a quick re-ascension; +when immediately, though much pinched with the cold, the mercury +having suddenly fallen twenty-two inches, I set about my concluding +stanza, viz. that which treats of his Majesty’s most excellent +chastity. And here I lay my claim to the indulgence of the critics +to that part of my ode; for what with the shock I had received +in striking on the weather-cock, and the effect of the prunes +which I had now nearly exhausted, on a sudden I found myself +very much disordered indeed. Candour required my just touching +on this circumstance; but delicacy must veil the particulars +in eternal oblivion. At length, having completed the great object +of my ascent, I now re-opened the valve, and descended with great +rapidity. They only who have travelled in Balloons, can imagine +the sincere joy of my heart, at perceiving Dr. Joseph cantering up +a turnip-field, near Kidlington Common, where I landed exactly at +a quarter after two o’clock; having, from my first elevation, +completed the period of five hours and fifteen minutes; four of +which, with the fraction of ten seconds, were entirely devoted to +my Ode.--Dr. Joseph quite hugged me in his arms, and kindly lent me +a second wig (my own being thrown over at the time of my striking), +which, with his usual precaution, he had brought in his pocket, +in case of accidents. I take this occasion also to pay my thanks +to Thomas Gore, Esq. for some excellent milk-punch, which he +directed his butler to furnish me with most opportunely; and which +I then thought the most solacing beverage I ever had regaled withal. +Dr Joseph and myself reached Oxford in the Dilly by five in the +evening, the populace most handsomely taking off the horses for +something more than the last half mile, in honour of the first +Literary Areonaut of these kingdoms-- + + _As witness my hand this 22d of May, 1785_, THOMAS WARTON. + +CERTIFICATE. + +_County of Oxford to wit, 22nd of May, 1785._ +This is to certify, to all whom it may concern, That the aforesaid +Thomas and Joseph Warton came before me, one of his Majesty’s +Justices of the Peace for the said county, and did solemnly make +oath to the truth of the above case. + His + Sworn before me, JOHN + WEYLAND. + Mark. + + +[1] It cannot fail to attract the Reader’s particular attention +to this very curious piece, to inform him, that Signor Delpini’s +decision, in favour of Mr. Warton, was chiefly grounded on the new +and extraordinary style of writing herein attested. + + + + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +On the demise of the late excellent Bard, William Whitehead, Esq. +Poet Laureat to his Majesty, it was decidedly the opinion of +his Majesty’s great superintendant Minister, that the said office +should be forthwith declared elective, and in future continue so; +in order as well to provide the ablest successor on the present +melancholy occasion, as also to secure a due preference to superior +talents, upon all future vacancies: it was in consequence of this +determination, that the following Public Notice issued from the +Lord Chamberlain’s Office, and became the immediate cause of the +celebrated contest that is recorded in these pages. + + * * * * * + +ADVERTISEMENT. +_Lord Chamberlain’s Office, April 26._ + +In order to administer strict and impartial justice to the numerous +candidates for the vacant POET LAUREATSHIP, many of whom are of +illustrious birth, and high character, + +Notice is hereby given, That the same form will be attended to +in receiving the names of the said Candidates, which is invariably +observed in registering the Court Dancers. The list to be finally +closed on Friday evening next. + +Each Candidate is expected to deliver in a PROBATIONARY BIRTH-DAY ODE, +with his name, and also personally to appear on a future day, to +recite the same before such literary judges as the Lord Chamberlain, +in his wisdom, may appoint. + + * * * * * + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +[The following Account, though modestly stiled a _Hasty Sketch_, +according to the known delicacy of the Editorial Style, is in fact +_A Report_, evidently penned by the hand of a Master.] + +HASTY SKETCH _of Wednesday’s Business at the_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN’S +OFFICE. + +In consequence of the late general notice, given by public +advertisement, of an _open election_ for the vacant office of _Poet +Laureat_ to their Majesties, on the terms of Probationary +Compositions, a considerable number of the most eminent characters in +the fashionable world assembled at the _Lord Chamberlain’s Office_, +Stable-yard, St. James’s, on Wednesday last, between the hours of +twelve and two, when Mr. _Ramus_ was immediately dispatched to Lord +Salisbury’s, acquainting his Lordship therewith, and soliciting his +attendance to receive the several candidates, and admit their +respective tenders. His Lordship arriving in a short time after, the +following Noblemen and Gentlemen were immediately presented to his +Lordship by _John Calvert, Jun. Esq._ in quality of Secretary to the +office. _James Eley, Esq._ and Mr. _Samuel Betty_, attended also as +first and second Clerk, the following list of candidates was made out +forthwith, and duly entered on the roll, as a preliminary record to +the subsequent proceedings. + +The Right Rev. Dr. William Markham, Lord Archbishop of York. +The Right Hon. Edward, Lord Thurlow, Lord High Chancellor of Great + Britain. +The Most Noble James, Marquis of Graham. +The Right Hon. Harvey Redmond, Visc. Montmorres, of the kingdom of + Ireland. +The Right Hon. Constantine, Lord Mulgrave, ditto. +The Right Hon. Henry Dundas. +Sir George Howard, K.B. +Sir Cecil Wray, Baronet. +Sir Joseph Mawbey, ditto. +Sir Richard Hill, ditto. +Sir Gregory Page Turner, ditto. +The Rev. William Mason, B.D. +The Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. +The Rev. George Prettyman, D.D. +The Rev, Joseph Warton, D.D. +Pepper Arden, Esq. Attorney-General to his Majesty. +Michael Angelo Taylor, Esq. M.P. +James M‘Pherson, Esq. ditto. +Major John Scott, ditto. +Nath. William Wraxhall, Esq. ditto. +Mons. Le Mesurier, Membre du Parlement d’Angleterre. + +The several candidates having taken their places at a table provided +for the occasion, the Lord Chamberlain, in the politest manner, +signified his wish that each candidate would forthwith recite some +sample of his poetry as he came provided with for the occasion; +at the same time most modestly confessing his own inexperience +in all such matters, and intreating their acquiescence therefore +in his appointment of his friend _Mr. Delpini_, of the Hay-Market +Theatre, as an active and able assessor on so important an occasion. +Accordingly, _Mr. Delpini_ being immediately introduced, the several +candidates proceeded to recite their compositions, according to +their rank and precedence in the above list--both his Lordship and +his assessor attended throughout the whole of the readings with +the profoundest respect, and taking no refreshment whatsoever, +except some China oranges and biscuit, which were also handed about +to the company by _Mr. John Secker_, Clerk of the Houshold, and +_Mr. William Wise_, Groom of the Buttery. + +At half after five, the readings being completed, his Lordship and +_Mr. Delpini_ retired to an adjoining chamber; _Mrs. Elizabeth Dyer_, +Keeper of the Butter and Egg Office, and _Mr. John Hook_, Deliverer +of Greens, being admitted to the candidates with several other +refreshments suitable to the fatigue of the day. Two Yeomen of +the Mouth and a Turn-broacher attended likewise; and indeed every +exertion was made to conduct the little occasional repast that +followed with the utmost decency and convenience; the whole being +at the expence of the Crown, notwithstanding every effort to the +contrary on the part of _Mr. Gilbert_. + +At length the awful moment arrived, when the _detur digniori_ was +finally to be pronounced on the busy labours of the day--never +did Lord Salisbury appear to greater advantage--never did his +assessor more amusingly console the discomfitures of the failing +candidates--every thing that was affable, every thing that was +mollifying, was ably expressed by both the judges; but poetical +ambition is not easily allayed. When the fatal _fiat_ was announced +in favour of the Rev. Thomas Warton, a general gloom overspread +the whole society--a still and awful silence long prevailed. +At length Sir Cecil Wray started up, and emphatically pronounced +_a scrutiny! a scrutiny!_--A shout of applause succeeded--in vain +did the incomparable Buffo introduce his most comic gestures--in +vain was his admirable leg pointed horizontally at every head in +the room--a scrutiny was demanded--and a scrutiny was granted. +In a word, the Lord Chamberlain declared his readiness to submit +the productions of the day to the inspection of the public, reserving +nevertheless to himself and his assessor, the full power of annulling +or establishing the sentence already pronounced. It is in consequence +of the above direction, that we shall now give the public the said +PROBATIONARY VERSES, commencing with those, however, which are the +production of such of the candidates as most vehemently insisted +on the right of appeal, conceiving such priority to be injustice +granted to the persons whose public spirit has given so lucky a +turn to this poetical election. According to the above order, the +first composition that we lay before the public is the following:-- + + + + +_NUMBER I._ + +IRREGULAR ODE. + +The WORDS by SIR CECIL WRAY, BART. + +The SPELLING by Mr. GROJAN, _Attorney at Law._ + + HARK! hark!--hip! hip!--hoh! hoh! + What a mort of bards are a-singing! + Athwart--across--below---- + I’m sure there’s a dozen a dinging! + I hear sweet Shells, loud Harps, large Lyres-- + Some, I trow, are tun’d by Squires-- + Some by Priests, and some by Lords!--while Joe and I + Our _bloody hands_, hoist up, like meteors, on high! + Yes, _Joe_ and I + Are em’lous--Why? + It is because, great CÆSAR, you are clever-- + Therefore we’d sing of you for ever! + Sing--sing--sing--sing + God save the King! + Smile then, CÆSAR, smile on _Wray_! + Crown at last his _poll_ with bay!---- + Come, oh! bay, and with thee bring + Salary, illustrious thing!---- + Laurels vain of Covent-garden, + I don’t value you a farding!---- + Let sack my soul cheer + For ’tis sick of small beer! + CÆSAR! CÆSAR! give it--do! + Great CÆSAR giv’t all, for my Muse ’doreth you!-- + Oh fairest of the Heavenly Nine, + Enchanting _Syntax_, Muse divine! + Whether on _Phœbus_’ hoary head, + By blue-ey’d _Rhadamanthus_ led, + Or with young _Helicon_ you stray, + Where mad _Parnassus_ points the way;-- + Goddess of _Elizium_’s hill, + Descend upon my _Pæan_’s quill.---- + The light Nymph hears--no more + By _Pegasus_’ meand’ring shore, + _Ambrosia_ playful boy, + Plumbs her _jene scai quoi!_---- + I mount!--I mount!-- + I’m half a _Lark_--I’m half an _Eagle_! + Twelve stars I count---- + I see their dam-- she is a _Beagle_! + Ye Royal little ones, + I love your flesh and bones-- + You are an arch, rear’d with immortal stones! + _Hibernia_ strikes his harp! + Shuttle, fly!--woof! wed! warp! + Far, far, from me and you, + In latitude North 52.-- + Rebellion’s hush’d, + The merchant’s flush’d;-- + Hail, awful _Brunswick, Saxe-Gotha_, hail! + Not _George_, but _Louis_, now shall turn his tail! + Thus, I a-far from mad debate, + Like an old wren, + With my good hen, + Or a young gander, + Am a by-stander, + To all the peacock pride, and vain regards of state!-- + Yet if the laurel _prize_, + Dearer than my eyes, + Curs’d _Warton_ tries + For to surprize, + By the eternal God I’ll SCRUTINIZE! + + + + +_NUMBER II._ + +ODE ON THE NEW YEAR, + +By LORD MULGRAVE. + + +STROPHE. + + O for a Muse of Fire, + With blazing thumbs to touch my torpid lyre! + Now in the darksome regions round the Pole, + Tigers fierce, and Lions bold, + With wild affright would see the snow-hills roll, + Their sharp teeth chattering with the cold-- + But that Lions dwell not there---- + Nor beast, nor Christian--none but the _White Bear!_ + The White Bear howls amid the tempest’s roar, + And list’ning Whales swim headlong from the shore! + + +ANTISTROPHE. (By _Brother_ HARRY.) + + Farewel awhile, ye summer breezes! + What is the life of man? + A span! + Sometimes it thaws, sometimes it freezes, + Just as it pleases! + If Heaven decrees, fierce whirlwinds rend the air, + And then again (behold!) ’tis fair! + Thus peace and war on earth alternate reign: + Auspicious GEORGE, thy powerful word + Gives peace to France and Spain, + And sheaths the martial sword! + + +STROPHE II. (By _Brother_ CHARLES.) + + And now gay Hope, her anchor dropping, + And blue-ey’d Peace, and black-ey’d Pleasures, + And Plenty in light cadence hopping, + Fain would dance to WHITEHEAD’s measures. + But WHITEHEAD now in death reposes, + Crown’d with laurel! crown’d with roses! + Yet we, with laurel crown’d, his dirge will sing, + And thus deserve fresh laurels from the KING. + + + + +_NUMBER III._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, BART. + + +STROPHE. + + HARK!--to yon heavenly skies, + Nature’s congenial perfumes upwards rise! + From each throng’d stye + That saw my gladsome eye, + Incense, quite smoking hot, arose, + And caught my _seven sweet senses_--by the _nose_! + + +AIR--_accompanied by the_ LEARNED PIG. + + Tell me, dear Muse, oh! tell me, pray, + Why JOEY’s fancy frisks so gay; + Is it!--you slut it is--some _holy--holiday!_ + [_Here Muse Whispers I,--Sir Joseph._] + Indeed!--Repeat the fragrant sound! + Push love, and loyalty around, + Through _Irish_, _Scotch_, as well as _British_ ground! + + +CHORUS. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE, _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING! + + +AIR--_with Lutes._ + + Well might my dear lady say, + As lamb-like by her side I lay, + This very, very morn; + Hark! JOEY, hark! + I hear the lark, + Or else it is--the sweet _Sowgelder_’s horn! + + +ANTISTROPHE. + + Forth, from their styes, the bristly victims lead; + A score of HOGS, flat on their backs, shall bleed. + Mind they be such on which good Gods might feast! + And that + In lily fat + They cut six inches on the ribs, at least! + + +DUET--_with Marrow-bones and Cleavers._ + + _Butcher_ and _Cook_ begin! + We’ll have a royal greasy chin! + Tit bits so nice and rare-- + Prepare! prepare! + Let none abstain, + Refrain! + I’ll give ’em pork in plenty--cut, and come again! + + +RECITATIVE. + + Hog! Porker! Roaster! Boar-stag! Barbicue! + Cheeks! Chines! Crow! Chitterlings! and Harselet new! + Springs! Spare-ribs! Sausages! Sous’d-lugs! and Face! + With piping-hot Pease-pudding--plenteous place! + Hands! Hocks! Hams! Haggis, with high seas’ning fill’d! + Gammons! Green Griskins! on gridirons grill’d! + Liver and Lights! from Plucks that moment drawn + Pigs’ Puddings! Black and White! with Canterbury Brawn!-- + + +TRIO. + + Fall too, + Ye Royal crew! + Eat! Eat your bellies full! pray do! + At treats I never winces:-- + The Queen shall say, + Once in a way, + Her maids have been well cramm’d--her young ones din’d like Princes! + + +FULL CHORUS--_accompanied by the whole_ HOGGERY. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE! _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING!!!! + + + + +_NUMBER IV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR RICHARD HILL, BART. + + + Hail, pious Muse of saintly love, + Unmix’d, unstain’d with earthly dross! + Hail Muse of _Methodism_, above + The Royal Mews at Charing-cross! + Behold both hands I raise; + Behold both knees I bend; + Behold both eye-balls gaze! + Quick, Muse, descend, descend! + Meek Muse of _Madan_, thee my soul invokes-- + Oh point my pious puns! oh sanctify my jokes! + + +II. + + Descend, and, oh! in mem’ry keep-- + There’s a time to wake--a time to sleep-- + A time to laugh-a time to cry! + The _Bible_ says so--so do I!-- + Then broad awake, oh, come to me! + And thou my _Eastern star_ shalt be! + + +III. + + MILLER, bard of deathless name, + MOSES, wag of merry fame; + Holy, holy, holy pair, + Harken to your vot’ry’s pray’r! + Grant, that like Solomon’s of old, + My faith be still in _Proverbs_ told; + Like his, let my religion be + Conundrums of divinity. + And oh! to mine, let each strong charm belong, + That breathes salacious in the _wise man_’s song; + And thou, sweet bard, for ever dear + To each impassioned love-fraught ear, + Soft, luxuriant ROCHESTER; + Descend, and ev’ry tint bestow, + That gives to phrase its ardent glow; + From thee, thy willing _Hill_ shall learn + Thoughts that melt, and words that burn: + Then smile, oh, gracious, smile on this petition! + So _Solomon_, gay _Wilmot_ join’d with thee, + Shall shew the world that such a thing can be + As, strange to tell!--_a virtuous Coalition!_ + + +IV. + + Thou too, thou dread and awful shade + Of dear departed WILL WHITEHEAD, + Look through the blue ætherial skies, + And view me with propitious eyes! + Whether thou most delight’st to loll + On _Sion_’s top, or near the _Pole_! + Bend from thy _mountains_, and remember still + The wants and wishes of a lesser _Hill_! + Then, like _Elijah_, fled to realms above, + To me, thy friend, bequeath my hallow’d cloak, + And by its virtue Richard may improve, + And in _thy habit_ preach, and pun, and joke! + _The Lord doth give--The Lord doth take away._-- + Then good _Lord Sal’sbury_ attend to me-- + Banish these sons of _Belial_ in dismay; + And give the praise to a true _Pharisee_: + For sure of all the _scribes_ that Israel curst, + These _scribes_ poetic are by far the worst. + To thee, my _Samson_, unto thee I call---- + Exert thy _jaw_--and straight disperse them all-- + So, as in former times, the _Philistines_ shall fall! + Then as ’twas th’ beginning, + So to th’ end ’t shall be; + My Muse will ne’er leave singing + The LORD of SAL’SBURY!!! + + + + +_NUMBER V._ + +DUAN, +IN THE TRUE OSSIAN SUBLIMITY, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + + Does the wind touch thee, O HARP? + Or is it some passing Ghost? + Is is thy hand, + Spirit of the departed _Scrutiny_? + Bring me the harp, pride of CHATHAM! + Snow is on thy bosom, + Maid of the modest eye! + A song shall rise! + Every soul shall depart at the sound!!! + The wither’d thistle shall crown my head!!! + I behold thee, O King! + I behold thee sitting on mist!!! + Thy form is like a watery cloud, + Singing in the deep like an oyster!!!! + Thy face is like the beams of the setting moon! + Thy eyes are of two decaying flames! + Thy nose is like the spear of ROLLO!!! + Thy ears are like three bossy shields!!! + Strangers shall rejoice at thy chin! + The ghosts of dead Tories shall hear me + In their airy hall! + The wither’d thistle shall crown my head! + Bring me the Harp, + Son of CHATHAM! + But thou, O King! give me the Laurel! + + + + +_NUMBER VI._ + +[Though the following _Ossianade_ does not immediately come under +the description of a _Probationary Ode_, yet as it appertains to +the nomination of the _Laureat_, we class it under the same head. +We must at the same time compliment Mr. _Macpherson_ for his spirited +address to Lord Salisbury on the subject. The following is a copy +of his letter:] + + +MY LORD, + +I take the liberty to address myself immediately to your Lordship, +in vindication of my poetical character, which, I am informed, +is most illiberally attacked by the Foreign Gentleman, whom your +Lordship has thought proper to select as an assessor on the present +scrutiny for the office of Poet Laureat to his Majesty. Signor Delpini +is certainly below my notice--but I understand his objections to +my _Probationary Ode_ are two;--first, its conciseness; and next, +its being in _prose_. For the present, I shall wave all discussion +of these frivolous remarks; begging leave, however, to solicit +your Lordship’s protection to the following _Supplemental Ode_, which, +I hope, both from its _quantity_ and its _style_, will most +effectually do away the paltry, insidious attack of an uninformed +reviler, who is equally ignorant of British Poetry and of British +Language. + + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship’s most obedient, + and faithful servant, + J. MACPHERSON. + + + + +THE SONG OF SCRUTINA, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + +Hark! ’Tis the dismal sound that echoes on thy roofs, O _Cornwall_; +Hail! double-face sage! Thou worthy son of the chair-borne _Fletcher_! +The Great Council is met to fix the seats of the chosen Chief; +their voices resound in the gloomy hall of Rufus, like the roaring +winds of the cavern--Loud were the cries for _Rays_, but thy voice, +O _Foxan_, rendered the walls like the torrent that gusheth from +the Mountain-side. _Cornwall_ leaped from his throne and screamed--the +friends of _Gwelfo_ hung their heads--How were the mighty fallen! Lift +up thy face, _Dundasso_, like the brazen shield of thy chieftain! Thou +art bold to confront disgrace, and shame is unknown to thy brow--but +tender is the youth of thy leader; who droopeth his head like a faded +lily--leave not _Pitto_ in the day of defeat, when the Chiefs of the +Counties fly from him like the herd from the galled Deer.--The friends +of _Pitto_ are fled. He is alone--he layeth himself down in despair, +and sleep knitteth up his brow.--Soft were his dreams on the green +bench--Lo! the spirit of _Jenky_ arose, pale as the mist of the +morn--twisted was his long lank form--his eyes winked as he whispered +to the child in the cradle. Rise, he sayeth--arise bright babe of the +dark closet! the shadow of the Throne shall cover thee, like wings of +a hen, sweet chicken of the Back-stair brood! Heed not the Thanes of +the Counties; they have fled from thee, like Cackling Geese from the +hard-bitten Fox: but will they not rally and return to the charge? Let +the host of the King be numbered; they are as the sands of the barren +shore.--There Is _Powno_, who followeth his mighty leader, and chaceth +the stall-fed stag all day on the dusty road.--There is _Howard_, +great in arms, with the beaming star on his spreading breast.--Red is +the scarf that waves over his ample shoulders--Gigantic are his strides +on the terrace, in pursuit of the Royal footsteps of lofty _Georgio_. + +No more will I number the flitting shades of Jenky; for behold the +potent spirit of the black-browed _Jacko_.--’Tis the _Ratten Robinso_, +who worketh the works of darkness! Hither I come, said _Ratten_--Like +the mole of the earth, deep caverns have been my resting place; +the ground _Rats_ are my food.--Secret minion of the Crown, raise +thy soul! Droop not at the spirit of _Foxan_. Great are thy foes +in the sight of the many-tongued war.--Shake not they knees, like +the leaves of the Aspen on the misty hill--the doors of the stairs +in the postern are locked; the voice of thy foes is as the wind, +which whistleth through the vale; it passeth away like the swift +cloud of the night. + +The breath of _Gwelfo_ stilleth the stormy seas.----Whilst thou +breathest the breath of his nostrils, thou shalt live for ever. +Firm standeth thy heel in the Hall of thy Lord. Mighty art thou in +the sight of _Gwelfo_, illustrious leader of the friends of _Gwelfo_! +great art thou, O lovely imp of the interior closet! O lovely Guardian +of the Royal Junto! + + + + +NUMBER VII. + +MR. MASON having laid aside the more noble subject for a Probationary +Ode, viz. the Parliamentary Reform, upon finding that the Rev. Mr. +_Wyvil_ had already made a considerable progress in it, has adopted +the following.--The argument is simple and interesting, adapted either +to the harp of _Pindar_, or the reed of Theocritus_,_ and as proper +for the 4th of June, as any day of the year. + +It is almost needless to inform the public, that the University of +Oxford has earnestly longed for a visit from their Sovereign, and, +in order to obtain this honour without the fatigue of forms and +ceremonies, they have privately desired the Master of the Staghounds, +upon turning the stag out of the cart, to set his head in as straight +a line as possible, by the map, towards Oxford:--which probably, +on some auspicious day, will bring the Royal Hunt to the walls +of that city. This expedient, conceived in so much wisdom, as well +as loyalty, makes the subject of the following, + + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ MR. MASON. + +I. + O! green-rob’d Goddess of the hallow’d shade, + Daughter of Jove, to whom of yore + Thee, lovely maid, _Latona_ bore, + Chaste virgin, Empress of the silent glade! + Where shall I woo thee?--Ere the dawn, + While still the dewy tissue of the lawn + Quivering spangles to the eye, + And fills the soul with Nature’s harmony! + Or ’mid that murky grove’s monastic night, + The tangling net-work of the woodbine’s gloom, + Each zephyr pregnant with perfume---- + Or near that delving dale, or mossy mountain’s height, + When _Neptune_ struck the scientific ground. + +II. + From _Attica_’s deep-heaving side, + Why did the prancing horse rebound, + Snorting, neighing all around, + With thund’ring feet and flashing eyes-- + Unless to shew how near allied + Bright science is to exercise! + +III. + If then the _horse_ to wisdom is a friend, + Why not the _hound_? why not the _horn_? + While low beneath the furrow sleeps the corn, + Nor yet in tawny vests delight to bend! + For Jove himself decreed, + That DIAN, with her sandal’d feet, + White ankled Goddess pure and fleet, + Should with every Dryad lead, + By jovial cry o’er distant plain, + To _England_’s Athens, _Brunswick_’s sylvan train! + +IV. + _Diana_, Goddess all discerning! + _Hunting_ is a friend to learning! + If the stag, with hairy nose, + In Autumn ne’er had thought of love! + No buck with swollen throat the does + With dappled sides had tryed to move---- + Ne’er had _England_’s King, I ween, + The Muse’s seat, fair _Oxford_, seen. + + V. + Hunting, thus, is learning’s friend! + No longer, Virgin Goddess, bend + O’er _Endymion_’s roseate breast;---- + No longer, vine-like, chastly twine + Round his milk-white limbs divine!---- + Your brother’s car rolls down the east-- + The laughing hours bespeak the day! + With flowery wreaths they strew the way! + Kings of sleep! ye mortal race! + For _George_ with _Dian_ ’gins the Royal chace! + +VI. + Visions of bliss, you tear my aching sight, + Spare, O spare your poet’s eyes! + See every gate-way trembles with delight, + Streams of glory streak the skies: + How each College sounds, + With the cry of the hounds! + How _Peckwater_ merrily rings; + Founders, Prelates, Queens, and Kings-- + All have had your hunting-day!-- + From the dark tomb then break away! + Ah! see they rush to _Friar Bacon_’s tower, + Great _George_ to greet, and hail his natal hour! + +VII. + _Radcliffe_ and _Wolsey_, hand in hand, + Sweet gentle shades, there take their stand + With _Pomfret_’s learned dame; + And _Bodely_ join’d by Clarendon, + With loyal zeal together run, + Just arbiters of fame! + +VIII. + That fringed cloud sure this way bends-- + From it a form divine descends-- + _Minerva_’s self;--and in her rear + A thousand saddled steads appear! + On each she mounts a learned son, + Professor, Chancellor, or Dean; + All by hunting madness won, + All in _Dian_’s livery seen. + How they despise the tim’rous _Hare_! + Give us, they cry, the furious _Bear_! + To chase the Lion, how they long, + Th’ _Rhinoceros_ tall, and _Tyger_ strong. + Hunting thus is learning’s prop, + Then may hunting never drop; + And thus an hundred _Birth-Days_ more, + Shall Heav’n to _George_ afford from its capacious shore. + + + + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ THE ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +I. + _Indite_, my Muse!--_indite! subpœna’d_ is thy lyre! + The praises to _record_, which _rules of Court_ require! + ’Tis thou, O _Clio_! Muse divine, + And best of all the _Council_ Nine, + Must _plead_ my _cause_!--Great HATFIELD’S CECIL bids me sing------ + The tallest, fittest man, to walk before the King! + +II. + Of _Sal’sbury’s Earls_ the First (so tells th’ historic page) + ’Twas Nature’s will to make most wonderfully sage; + But then, as if too liberal to his mind, + She made him crook’d before, and crook’d behind[1]. + ’Tis not, thank Heav’n! my _Cecil_, so with thee; + Thou last of Cecils, but unlike the first;-- + Thy body bears no mark’d deformity;---- + The Gods _decreed_, and _judgment was revers’d!_ + For veins of Science are like veins of gold! + Pure, for a time, they run; + They end as they begun-- + Alas! in nothing but a heap of mould! + +III. + Shall I by eloquence controul, + Or _challenge_ send to mighty ROLLE, + Whene’er on Peers he vents his gall? + Uplift my hands to pull his nose, + And twist and pinch it till it grows, + Like mine, aside, and small? + Say, by what _process_ may I once obtain + A _verdict_, Lord, not let me _sue_ in vain! + In Commons, and in _Courts_ below, + My _actions_ have been try’d;-- + There _Clients_ who pay most, _you know_, + _Retain_ the strongest side! + True to these _terms_, I preach’d in politics for _Pitt_, + And _Kenyon’s law_ maintain’d against his Sovereign’s _writ_. + What though my father be a porpus, + He may be mov’d by _Habeas Corpus_-- + Or by a _call_, whene’er the State + Or _Pitt_ requires his vote and weight-- + I tender _bail_ for Bottle’s _warm_ support, + Of all the plans of Ministers and Court! + +IV. + And Oh! should _Mrs. Arden_ bless me with a child, + A lovely boy, as beauteous as myself and mild; + The little _Pepper_ would some caudle lack: + Then think of _Arden_’s wife, + My pretty _Plaintiff_’s life, + The best of caudle’s made of best of sack! + Let thy _decree_ + But favour me, + My _bills_ and _briefs_, _rebutters_ and _detainers_, + To _Archy_ I’ll resign + Without a _fee_ or _fine_, + _Attachments_, _replications_, and _retainers_! + To _Juries, Bench, Exchequer, Seals_, + To _Chanc’ry Court_, and _Lords_, I’ll bid adieu; + No more _demurrers_ nor _appeals_;---- + My _writs of error_ shall be _judg’d_ by you. + +V. + And if perchance great _Doctor Arnold_ should retire, + Fatigu’d with all the troubles of St. James’s Choir; + My Odes two merits shall unite; + [2]BEARCROFT, my friend, + His aid will lend, + And set to music all I write; + Let me then, Chamberlain without a _flaw_, + For June the fourth prepare, + The praises of the King + In _legal lays_ to sing, + Until they rend the air, + And _prove_ my equal fame in _poesy_ and law! + + +[1] Rapin observes, that Robert Cecil, the first Earl of Salisbury, +was of a great genius; and though crooked before and behind, +Nature supplied that defect with noble endowments of mind. + +[2] This Gentleman is a great performer upon the Piano Forte, +as well as the Speaking Trumpet and Jews’ Harp. + + + + +_NUMBER IX._ + +ODE, + +_By_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXHALL, ESQ. M.P. + +I. + MURRAIN seize the House of Commons! + Hoarse catarrh their windpipes shake! + Who, deaf to travell’d Learning’s summons, + Rudely cough’d whene’er I spake! + _North_, nor _Fox_’s thund’ring course, + Nor e’en the Speaker, tyrant, shall have force + To save thy walls from nightly breaches, + From _Wraxhall_’s votes, from _Wraxhall_’s speeches, + _Geography_, terraqueous maid, + Descend from globes to statesmen’s aid! + Again to heedless crouds unfold + Truths unheard, tho’ not untold: + Come, and once more unlock this vasty world-- + Nations attend! the _map_ of _Earth_’s unfurl’d! + +II. + Begin the song, from where the Rhine, + The Elbe, the Danube, Weser rolls---- + _Joseph_, nine circles, forty seas are thine---- + Thine, twenty millions souls---- + Upon a marish flat and dank + States, Six and One, + Dam the dykes, the seas embank, + Maugre the Don! + A gridiron’s form the proud Escurial rears, + While South of Vincent’s Cape anchovies glide: + But, ah! o’er Tagus, once auriferous tide, + A priest-rid Queen, Braganza’s sceptre bears---- + Hard fate! that Lisbon’s Diet-drink is known + To cure each crazy _constitution_ but her own! + +III. + I burn! I burn! I glow! I glow! + With antique and with modern lore! + I rush from Bosphorus to Po-- + To Nilus from the Nore. + Why were thy Pyramids, O Egypt! rais’d, + But to be measur’d, and be prais’d? + Avaunt, ye Crocodiles! your threats are vain! + On Norway’s seas, my soul, unshaken, + Brav’d the Sea-Snake and the Craken! + And shall I heed the River’s scaly train? + Afric, I scorn thy Alligator band! + Quadrant in hand + I take my stand, + And eye thy moss-clad needle, Cleopatra grand! + O, that great Pompey’s pillar were my own! + Eighty-eight feet the shaft, and all one stone! + But hail, ye lost Athenians! + Hail also, ye Armenians! + Hail once, ye Greeks, ye Romans, Carthagenians! + Twice hail, ye Turks, and thrice, ye Abyssinians! + Hail too, O Lapland, with thy squirrels airy! + Hail, Commerce-catching Tipperary! + Hail, wonder-working Magi! + Hail, Ouran-Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi! + Hail, all ye cabinets of every state, + From poor Marino’s Hill, to Catherine’s Empire great! + All have their chiefs, who-speak, who write, who seem to think, + _Caermarthens, Sydneys, Rutlands_, paper, pens, and ink; + +IV. + Thus, through all climes, to earth’s remotest goal, + From burning Indus to the freezing Pole, + In chaises and on floats, + In dillies, and in boats; + Now on a camel’s native stool; + Now on an ass, now on a mule. + Nabobs and Rajahs have I seen; + Old Bramins mild, young Arabs keen: + Tall Polygars, + Dwarf Zemindars, + Mahommed’s tomb, Killarney’s lake, the fane of Ammon, + With all thy Kings and Queens, ingenious Mrs. Salmon[1]: + Yet vain the majesties of wax! + Vain the cut velvet on their backs---- + GEORGE, mighty GEORGE, is flesh and blood---- + No head he wants of wax or wood! + His heart is good! + (As a King’s should) + And every thing he says is understood! + +[1] Exhibits the Wax-work, in Fleet-Street. + + + + +_NUMBER X._ + +ODE FOR NEW-YEAR’S-DAY, + +_By_ SIR GREGORY PAGE TURNER, BART. M.P. + +Lord Warden of Blackheath, and Ranger of Greenwich Hill, +during the Christmas and Easter Holidays. + +STROPHE. + + O day of high career! + First of a month--nay more--first of a year! + A _monarch-day_, that hath indeed no peer! + Let huge _Buzaglos_ glow + In ev’ry corner of the isle, + To melt away the snow: + And like to _May_, + Be this month gay; + And with her at hop--step--jump--play, + Dance, grin, and smile: + Ye too, ye _Maids of Honour_, young and old, + Shall each be seen, + With a neat _warming_ patentiz’d _machine_! + Because, ’tis said, that _chastity_ is _cold_! + +ANTISTROPHE. + + But ah! no roses meet the sight; + No _yellow_ buds of _saffron_ hue, + Nor _azure_ blossoms of _pale blue_, + Nor tulips, pinks, &c. delight. + Yet on fine _tiffany_ will I + My genius try, + The spoils of _Flora_ to supply, + Or say my name’s not GREGO--RY! + An _artificial_ Garland will I bring, + That _Clement Cottrell_ shall declare, + With courtly air, + Fit for a Prince--fit for a KING! + +Epode. + + Ye _millinery_ fair, + To me, ye Muses are; + Ye are to me _Parnassus_ MOUNT! + In you, I find an _Aganippe_ FOUNT! + I venerate your _muffs_, + I bow and kiss your _ruffs_. + Inspire me, O ye _Sisters_ of the _frill_, + And teach your votarist how to _quill_! + For oh!--’tis true indeed, + That he can scarcely read! + Teach him to _flounce_, and disregard all quippery, + As crapes and blonds, and such like frippery; + Teach him to _trim_ and _whip_ from side to side, + And _puff_ as long as puffing can be try’d. + In _crimping_ metaphor he’ll dash on, + For _point_, you know, is out of fashion. + O crown with bay his tête, + _Delpini_, arbiter of fate! + Nor at the trite conceit let witlings sport. + A PAGE should be a _Dangler_ at the court. + + + + +_NUMBER XI._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MICHAEL ANGELO TAYLOR, ESQ. M. P. + +Only Son of SIR ROBERT TAYLOR, Knt. and late Sheriff--also Sub-Deputy, +Vice-Chairman to the Irish Committee, King’s Counsel, and Welsh +Judge Elect, &c, &c. + +I. + Hail, all hail, thou natal day! + Hail the very half hour, I say, + On which great GEORGE was born! + Tho’ scarcely fledg’d, I’ll try my wing-- + And tho’, alas! I cannot sing, + I’ll _crow_ on this illustrious morn! + Sweet bird, that chirp’st the note of folly, + So pleasantry, so drolly!-- + Thee, oft the stable yards among, + I woo, and emulate thy song! + Thee, for my emblem still I choose! + Oh! with thy voice inspire a _Chicken of the Muse!_ + +II. + And thou, great Earl, ordain’d to sit + High arbiter of verse and wit, + Oh crown my wit with fame! + Such as it is, I prithee take it; + Or if thou can’st not find it, make it: + To me ’tis just the same. + Once a white wand, like thine, my father bore: + But now, alas! that white wand is no more! + Yet though his pow’r be fled, + Nor Bailiff wait his nod nor Gaoler; + Bright honour still adorns the head + Of my Papa, Sir _Robert Tayler!_ + Ah, might that honour on his son alight! + On this auspicious day + How my little heart would glow, + If, as I bend me low, + My gracious King wou’d say, + Arise, SIR MICHAEL ANGELO! + O happiest day, that brings the happiest Knight! + +III. + Thee, too, my _fluttering_ Muse invokes, + Thy guardian aid I beg. + Thou great ASSESSOR, fam’d for jokes, + For jokes of face and leg! + So may I oft thy stage-box grace, + (The first in beauty as in place) + And smile responsive to thy changeful face! + For say, renowned mimic, say, + Did e’er a merrier crowd obey + Thy laugh-provoking summons, + Than with fond glee, enraptur’d sit, + Whene’er with _undesigning wit_, + I entertain the Commons? + Lo! how I shine St. Stephen’s boast! + There, first of _Chicks_, I rule the _roast_! + There I appear, + Pitt’s _Chanticleer_. + The _Bantam Cock_ in opposition! + Or like a _hen_ + With watchful ken, + Sit close and hatch--the Irish propositions! + +IV. + Behold for this great day of pomp and pleasure, + The House adjourns, and I’m at leisure! + If _thou_ art so, come muse of sport, + With a few rhymes, + Delight the times, + And coax the Chamberlain, and charm the Court! + By Heaven she comes!--more swift than prose, + At her command, my metre flows; + Hence, ye weak warblers of the rival lays! + Avaunt, ye Wrens, ye Goslings, and ye Pies! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _win_ the prize! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _peck_ the bays! + So, when again the State deminds our care, + Fierce in my laurel’d pride, I’ll take the chair!-- + GILBERT, I catch thy bright invention, + With somewhat more of _sound retention[1]!_ + But never, never on thy _prose_ I’ll border-- + _Verse_, lofty-sounding _Verse_, shall “_Call to Order!_” + Come, sacred Nine, come one and all, + Attend your fav’rite Chairman’s call! + Oh! if I well have chirp’d your brood among, + Point my keen eye, and tune my brazen tongue! + And hark! with Elegiac graces, + “I beg that gentlemen may take their places!” + Didactic Muse, be thine to state, + The rules that harmonize debate! + Thine, mighty CLIO, to resound from far, + “The door! the door!--the bar! the bar!” + Stout _Pearson_ damns around at her dread word;-- + “Sit down!” cries _Clementson_, and grasps his silver sword. + +V. + But lo! where Pitt appears to move + Some new resolve of hard digestion! + Wake then, my Muse, thy gentler notes of love, + And in persuasive numbers, “_put the Question._” + The question’s gain’d!--the Treasury-Bench rejoice! + “All hail, thou _least_ of men” (they cry), with mighty voice! + --Blest sounds! my ravish’d eye surveys + Ideal Ermine, fancied Bays! + Wrapt in St. Stephens future scenes + I sit perpetual chairman of the _Ways and Means!_ + Cease, cease, ye Bricklayer crew, my sire to praise, + His mightier offspring claims immortal lays! + The father climb’d the ladder, with a hod; + The son, like _General Jackoo_, jumps alone, by God! + + +[1] No reflection on the organization of Mr. Gilbert’s brain is +intended here; but rather a pathetic reflection an the continual +Diabetes of so great a Member! + + + + +_NUMBER XII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, M.P. &C. &C. + +I. + Why does the loitering sun retard his wain, + When this glad hour demands a fiercer ray? + Not so he pours his fire on Delhi’s plain, + To hail the Lord of Asia’s natal day. + There in mute pomp and cross-legg’d state, + The _Raja Pouts_ MAHOMMED SHAH await. + There _Malabar_, + There _Bisnagar_, + There _Oude_ and proud _Bahar_, in joy confederate. + +II. + Curs’d be the clime, and curs’d the laws, that lay + Insulting bonds on George’s sovereign sway! + Arise, my soul, on wings of fire, + To God’s anointed, tune the lyre; + Hail! George, thou all-accomplish’d King! + Just type of him who rules on high! + Hail inexhausted, boundless spring + Of sacred truth and Holy Majesty! + Grand is thy form--’bout five feet ten, + Thou well-built, worthiest, best of men! + Thy chest is stout, thy back is broad-- + Thy Pages view thee, and are aw’d! + Lo! how thy white eyes roll! + Thy whiter eye-brows stare! + Honest soul! + Thou’rt witty, as thou’rt fair! + +III. + North of the Drawing-room a closet stands: + The sacred nook, St James’s Park commands! + Here, in sequester’d state, Great GEORGE receives + Memorials, treaties, and long lists of thieves! + Here all the force of sov’reign thought is bent, + To fix Reviews, or change a Government! + Heav’ns! how each word with joy _Caermarthen_ takes! + Gods! how the lengthen’d chin of _Sydney_ shakes! + Blessing and bless’d the sage associate see, + The proud triumphant league of incapacity. + With subtile smiles, + With innate wiles, + How do thy tricks of state, GREAT GEORGE, abound! + So in thy Hampton’s mazy ground, + The path that wanders + In meanders, + Ever bending, + Never ending, + Winding runs the eternal round. + Perplex’d, involv’d, each thought bewilder’d moves; + In short, quick turns the gay confusion roves; + Contending themes the ernbarrass’d listener baulk, + Lost in the labyrinths of the devious talk! + +IV. + Now shall the levee’s ease thy soul unbend, + Fatigu’d with Royalty’s severer care! + Oh! happy few! whom brighter stars befriend, + Who catch the chat--the witty whisper share! + Methinks I hear + In accents clear, + Great Brunswick’s voice still vibrate on my ear-- + “What?--what?--what? + Scott!--Scott!--Scott! + Hot!--hot!--hot! + What?--what!--what?” + Oh! fancy quick! oh! judgment true! + Oh! sacred oracle of regal taste! + So hasty, and so generous too! + Not one of all thy questions will an answer wait! + Vain, vain, oh Muse, thy feeble art, + To paint the beauties of that head and heart! + That heart where all the virtues join! + That head that hangs on many a sign! + +V. + Monarch of mighty _Albion_, check thy talk! + Behold the _Squad_ approach, led on by _Palk_! + _Smith, Barwelly, Cattt Vansittart_, form the band-- + Lord of Brirannia!--let them kiss thy hand!-- + For _sniff_[1]!--rich odours scent the sphere! + ’Tis Mrs. _Hastings_’ self brings up the rear! + Gods! how her diamonds flock + On each unpowdere’d lock! + On every membrane see a topaz clings! + Behold her joints are fewer than her rings! + Illustrious dame! on either ear, + The _Munny Begums_’ spoils appear! + Oh! Pitt, with awe behold that precious throat, + Whose necklace teems with many a future vote! + Pregnant with _Burgage_ gems each hand she rears; + And lo! depending _questions_ gleam upon her ears! + Take her, great George, and shake her by the hand; + ’Twill loose her jewels, and enrich thy land. + But oh! reserve one ring for an old stager; + The _ring_ of future marriage for her _Major_! + +[1] Sniff is a new interjection for the sense of smelling. + + + + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARRY DUNDAS, ESQ. +Treasurer of the Navy, &c. &c. &c. + +I. + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Ye lawland Bards! who’ are ye aw! + What are your sangs? What aw your lair too boot? + Vain are your thowghts the prize to win, + Sae dight your gobs, and stint your senseless din; + Hoot! hoot awaw! hoot! hoot!---- + Put oot aw your Attic feires, + Burn your lutes, and brek your leyres; + A looder, and a looder note I’ll strieke:---- + Na watter drawghts fra’ Helicon I heed, + Na will I moont your winged steed-- + I’ll moont the Hanoverian horse, and ride him whare I leike!-- + +II. + Ye lairdly fowk, wha form the courtly ring, + Coom, lend your lugs, and listen wheil I sing! + Ye canny maidens tee; wha aw the wheile, + Sa sweetly luik, sa sweetly smeile, + Coom hither aw, and round me thrang, + Wheil I tug oot my peips, and gi’ ye aw a canty sang. + Weel faur his bonny bleithsome hairt! + Wha, gifted by the gods abuin, + Wi’ meikle taste, and meikle airt, + Fairst garr’d his canny peipe to lilt a tune! + To the sweet whussel join’d the pleesan drane, + And made the poo’rs of music aw his ain. + On thee, on thee I caw--thou deathless spreight! + Doon frae thy thrane, abuin the lift sa breight; + Ah! smeile on me, instruct me hoo to chairm: + And, fou as is the baug beneath my arm, + Inspeire my saul, and geuide my tunesome tongue. + I feel, I feel thy poo’r divine! + Laurels! kest ye to the groond, + Aroond my heed, my country’s pride I tweine-- + Sa sud a Scottish baird be croon’d-- + Sa sud gret GEOURGE be sung! + +III. + Fra hills, wi’ heathers clad, that smeilan bluim + Speite o’ the northern blaist; + Ye breether bairds, descend, and hither coom! + Let ilka ilka ane his baugpipe bring, + That soonds sa sweetly, and sa weel; + Sweet soonds! that please the lugs o’ sic a king; + Lugs that in music’s soonds ha’ mickle taste. + Then, hither haste, and bring them aw, + Baith your muckle peipes and smaw; + Now, laddies! lood blaw up your chanters; + For, luik! whare, cled in claies sa leel. + Canny _Montrose_’s son leads on the ranters. + Thoo _Laird o’ Graham!_ by manie a cheil ador’d, + Who boasts his native fillabeg restor’d; + I croon thee--maister o’ the spowrt! + Bid thy breechless loons advaunce, + Weind the reel, and wave the daunce; + Noo they rant, and noo they loup, + And noo they shew their brawny doup, + And weel, I wat, they please the lasses o’ the court, + Sa in the guid buik are we tauld, + Befoor the halie ark, + The guid King David, in the days of auld, + Daunc’d, like a wuid thing, in his sark, + Wheil Sion’s dowghters (’tis wi’ sham I speak’t) + Aw heedless as he strack the sacred strain, + Keck’d, and lawgh’d, + And lawgh’d, and keck’d, + And lawgh’d, and keck’d again. + Scarce could they keep their watter at the seight, + Sa micke did the King their glowran eyne delight. + +IV. + Anewgh! anewgh! noo haud your haund! + And stint your spowrts awce: + Ken ye, whare clad in eastlan spoils sa brave, + O’ersheenan aw the lave; + He comes, he comes! + Aw hail! thoo Laird of pagodas and lacks! + Weel could I tell of aw thy mighty awks; + Fain wad my peipe, its loudest note, + My tongue, its wunsome poo’rs, devote, + To gratitude and thee; + To thee, the sweetest o’ thy ain parfooms, + Orixa’s preide sud blaze + On thee, thy gems of purest rays; + Back fra’ this saund, their genuine feires sud shed, + And _Rumbold_’s Crawdle vie wuth _Hasting_’s Bed. + But heev’n betook us weil! and keep us weise! + Leike thunder, burstan at thy dreed command! + “Keep, keep thy tongue,” a warlock cries, + And waves his gowden wand. + +V. + Noo, laddies! gi’ your baugpipes breeth again; + Blaw the loo’d, but solemn, strain: + Thus wheil I hail with heart-felt pleasure, + In mejesty sedate, + In pride elate, + The smuith cheeks Laird of aw the treasure; + Onward he stalks in froonan state; + Na fuilish smiles his broos unbend, + Na wull he bleithsome luik on aw the lasses lend. + Hail to ye, lesser Lairds! of mickle wit; + Hail to ye aw, wha in weise council sit, + Fra’ _Tommy Toonsend_ up to _Wully Pitt!_ + Weel faur your heeds! but noo na mair + To ye maun I the sang confeine: + To nobler fleights the muse expands her wing. + ’Tis he, whose eyne and wit sa breightly sheine, + ’Tis GEOURGE demands her care; + Breetons! boo down your heed, and hail your King! + See! where with Atlantean shoulder, + Amazing each beholder, + Beneath a tott’ring empire’s weight. + Full six feet high he stands, and therefore--great! + +VI. + Come then, aw ye POO’rs of vairse! + Gi’ me great GEOURGE’s glories to rehearse; + And as I chaunt his kingly awks, + The list’nan warld fra me sall lairn + Hoo swuft he rides, hoo slow he walks, + And weel he gets his Queen wi’ bairn. + Give me, with all a Laureat’s art to jumble, + Thoughts that soothe, and words that rumble! + Wisdom and Empire, Brunswick’s Royal line; + Fame, Honour, Glory, Majesty divine! + Thus, crooned by his lib’ral hand. + Give me to lead the choral band; + Then, in high-sounding words, and grand, + Aft sail peipe swell with his princely name, + And this eternal truth proclaim: + ’Tis GEOURGE, Imperial GEOURGE, who rules BRITANNIA’s land! + + + + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ DR. JOSEPH WARTON, In humble Imitation of BROTHER THOMAS. + + O! For the breathings of the _Doric ote!_ + O! for the _warblings_ of the Lesbian _lyre!_ + O! for the Alcean trump’s terrific note! + O! for the Theban eagle’s wing of fire! + O! for each stop and string that swells th’ Aonian quire! + Then should this hallow’d day in _worthy strains be sung_, + And with _due laurel wreaths_ thy cradle, Brunswick, _hung!_ + But tho’ uncouth my numbers flow + --From a rude reed,-- + That drank the dew of Isis’ lowly mead, + And _wild pipe_, fashion’d from the _embatted sedge_ + Which on the _twilight edge_ + Of my own Cherwell loves to grow: + The god-like theme alone + Should bear me on its _tow’ring wing_; + Bear me undaunted to the throne, + To view with fix’d and stedfast eye + --The delegated majesty + Of heav’ns dread lord, and what I see to sing. + Like heaven’s dread lord, great George his voice can raise, + From babes and suckling’s mouths to hymn his _perfect praise_, + _In poesy’s trim rhymes_ and high _resounding phrase_. + _Hence, avaunt!_ ye savage train, + That drench the earth and dye the main + With the tides of hostle gore: + Who joy in _war’s terrific charms_, + To see the steely gleam of arms, + And hear the cannon’s roar; + Unknown the god-like virtue how to yield, + To Cressy’s or to Blenheim’s _deathful_ field; + Begone, and sate your Pagan thirst of blood; + Edward, fell homicide, awaits you there, + And Anna’s hero, both unskill’d to spare + Whene’er the foe their slaught’ring sword withstood. + The pious George to _white-staled peace_ alone + His olive sceptre yields, and _palm-encircled throne_. + Or if his high degree + On the _perturbed sea_ + The bloody flag unfurls; + Or o’er the embattl’d plain + Ranges the martial train; + On other heads his bolts he hurls. + Haughty subjects, _wail and weep_, + Your angry master _ploughs the deep_. + Haughty subjects, swol’n with pride, + Tremble at his _vengeful_ stride. + While the regal command + Desp’rate ye withstand, + He bares his red right hand. + As when Eloim’s pow’r, + In Judah’s rebel hour, + Let fall the fiery show’r + That o’er her parch’d hills desolation spread, + And heap’d her vales with mountains of the dead. + O’er Schuylkill’s _cliffs the tempest roars_; + O’er Rappahanock’s recreant shores; + Up the _rough rocks of Kipps’s-bay_; + The huge Anspachar _wins his way_; + _Or scares the falcon_ from the _fir-cap’d side_ + Of each high hill that hangs o’er Hudson’s haughty tide. + Matchless victor, mighty lord! + Sheath the devouring sword! + Strong to punish, _mild to save_, + Close _the portals of the grave_, + Exert thy first prerogative, + Ah! spare thy subject’s blood, and let them _live_; + Our _tributary breath_, + Hangs on thine for life or death. + Sweet is the balmy breath of orient morn, + Sweet are the horned treasures of the bee; + Sweet is the fragrance of the scented thorn, + But sweeter yet the voice of royal clemency. + He hears, and from his _wisdom’s perfect day_ + He sends a bright effulgent ray, + The nations _to illumine far and wide_, + And feud and discord, war and _strife, subside_. + His moral sages, _all unknown_ t’untie + The wily rage of human policy, + Their equal compasses expand, + And mete the globe with philosophic hand. + No partial love of country binds + In selfish chains the lib’ral minds, + O gentle Lansdown! ting’d with thy philanthropy, + Let other monarchs vainly boast + A lengthen’d line of conquer’d coast, + Or boundless sea of tributary flood, + Bought by as wide a sea of blood---- + Brunswick, in more _saint-like guise_ + Claims for his spoils a purer prize, + Content at every price to buy + A conquest o’er himself, and o’er his progeny. + His be _domestic glory’s radient calm_---- + His be _the sceptre wreath’d with many a palm_---- + His be _the throne with peaceful emblems hung_, + And mine die laurel’d lyre, _to those mild conquests strung!_ + + + + +_NUMBER XV._ + +PINDARIC, + +_By_ the RIGHT HON. HERVEY REDMOND, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +Of Castle Morres, of the Kingdom of Ireland, &c. &c. + +I. + Awake, Hibernian lyre, awake, + To harmony thy strings attune, + O _tache_ their trembling tongue to _spake_ + The glories of the fourth of June. + Auspicious morn! + When George was born + To grace (by deputy) our Irish throne, + North, south, _aiste_, west, + Of Kings the best, + Sure now he’s _a_quall’d by himself alone; + Throughout the astonish’d globe so loud his fame shall ring, + The d_i_f themselves shall _hare_ the strains the dumb shall sing. + +II. + Sons of Fadruig[1], strain your throats, + In your native Irish lays, + Swe_a_ter than the scre_a_ch owl’s notes, + Howl aloud your sov’reign’s praise, + Quick to his hallow’d fane be led + A milk-white BULL, on soft potatoes fed: + His curling horns and ample neck + Let wreaths of verdant shamrock deck, + And perfum’d flames, to _rache_ the sky, + Let fuel from our bogs supply, + Whilst we to George’s health, _a_’en till the bowl runs o’er + Rich _strames_ of usquebaugh and sparkling whiskey pour. + +III. + Of d_i_thless fame immortal heirs, + A brave and patriotic band, + Mark where Ierne’s Volunt_a_res, + Array’d in bright disorder stand. + The Lawyer’s corps, red fac’d with black, + Here drive the martial merchants back; + Here Sligo’s bold brigade advance, + There Lim’rick legions sound their drum; + Here Gallway’s gallant squadrons prance, + And Cork Invincibles are overcome! + The Union firm of Coleraine, + Are scatter’d o’er the warlike plain, + While Tipperary infantry pursues + The Clognikelty horse, and Ballyshannon blues. + Full fifty thousand men we shew + All in our Irish manufactures clad, + Wh_a_ling, manœuv’ring to and fro, + And marching up and down like mad. + In fr_a_dom’s holy cause they bellow, rant, and rave, + And scorn thems_i_lves to know what they thems_i_lves would have! + Ah! should renowned Brunswick chuse, + (The warlike monarch loves reviews) + To see th_a_se h_a_roes in our Ph_a_nix fight, + Once more, amidst a wond’ring crowd, + The enraptur’d prince might cry aloud, + “Oh! Amherst, what a h_i_venly sight[2]!” + The loyal crowd with shouts should r_i_nd the skies, + To _hare_ their sov’reign make a sp_aa_ch so wise! + +IV. + Th_a_se were the bands, ’mid tempests foul, + Who taught their master, somewhat loth, + To grant (Lord love his lib’ral soul!) + Commerce and constitution both. + Now p_a_ce restor’d, + This gracious lord + Would _tache_ them, as the scriptures say, + At _laiste_, that if + The Lord doth give, + The Lord doth likewise take away. + Fr_a_dom like this who _i_ver saw? + We will, henceforth, for _i_ver more, + Be after making _i_v’ry law, + Great Britain shall have made before[3]. + +V. + Hence, loath’d Monopoly, + Of Av’rice foul, and Navigation bred, + In the drear gloom + Of British Custom-house Long-room, + ’Mongst cockets, clearances, and bonds unholy, + Hide thy detested head. + But come, thou goddess fair and free, + Hibernian reciprocity! + (Which _manes_, if right I take the plan, + Or _i_lse the tr_a_ity d_i_vil burn! + To get from England all we can; + And give her nothing in return!) + Thee, JENKY, skill’d in courtly lore, + To the _swate_ lipp’d William bore, + He Chatham’s son (in George’s reign + Such mixture was not held a stain), + Of garish day-light’s eye afraid, + Through the postern-gate convey’d; + In close and midnight cabinet, + Oft the secret lovers met. + Haste thee, nymph, and quick bring o’er + Commerce, from Britannia’s shore; + Manufactures, arts, and skill, + Such as may our pockets fill. + And, with thy left hand, gain by stealth, + Half our sister’s envied wealth, + Till our island shall become + Trade’s compl_a_te imporium[4]. + Th_a_se joys, if reciprocity can give, + Goddess with thee h_i_nceforth let Paddy live! + +VI. + Next to great George be peerless Billy sung:-- + Hark! he _spakes!_ his mouth his opes! + Phrases, periods, figures, tropes, + _Strame_ from his mellifluous tongue-- + Oh! had he crown’d his humble suppliant’s hopes? + And given him near his much-lov’d Pitt, + Beyond the limits of the bar to sit, + How with his praises had St. Stephen’s rung! + Though Pompey boast not all his patron’s pow’rs, + Yet oft have kind Hibernia’s Peers + To r_a_de his sp_aa_ches lent their ears: + So in the Senate, had his tongue, for hours. + Foremost, amid the youthful yelping pack, + That crow and cackle at the Premier’s back, + A flow of Irish rhetoric let loose, + Beneath the _Chicken_ scarce, and far above the _Goose_. + + +[1] Ancient Irish name given to St. Patrick. + +[2] The celebrated speech of a Great Personage, on reviewing the +camp at Cox-heath, in the year 1779, when a French invasion was +apprehended; the report of which animating apostrophe is supposed +to have struck such terror into the breasts of our enemies, as to +have been the true occasion of their relinquishing the design. + +[3] Vide the Fourth Proposition. + +[4] Vide Mr. Orde’s speech. + + + + +_NUMBER XVI._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ EDWARD LORD THURLOW, Lord High Chancellor of Great-Britain. + +I. + Damnation seize ye all, + Who puff, who thrum, who bawl and squall! + Fir’d with ambitious hopes in vain, + The wreath, that blooms for other brows to gain; + Is THURLOW yet so little known?-- + By G--d I swore, while GEORGE shall reign, + The seals, in spite of changes, to retain, + Nor quit the Woolsack till he quits the Throne! + And now, the Bays for life to wear, + Once more, with mightier oaths, by G--d I swear! + Bend my black brows that keep the Peers in awe, + Shake my full-bottom wig, and give the nod of law. + +II. + What [1] tho’ more sluggish than a toad, + Squat in the bottom of a well, + I too, my gracious Sov’reign’s worth to tell, + Will rouse my torpid genius to an Ode! + The toad a jewel in his head contains-- + Prove we the rich production of my brains! + Nor will I court, with humble plea, + Th’ _Aonian_ Maids to inspire my wit: + One mortal girl is worth the _Nine_ to me;-- + The prudes of _Pindus_ I resign to _Pitt_. + His be the classic art, which I despise:-- + THURLOW on Nature, and himself relies. + +III. + ’Tis mine _to keep the conscience of the King_; + To me, each secret of his heart is shown: + Who then, like me, shall hope to sing + Virtues, to all but me, unknown? + Say who, like me, shall win belief + To tales of his paternal grief, + When civil rage with slaughter dy’d + The plains beyond th’ Atlantic tide? + Who can, like me, his joy attest, + Though little joy his looks confest, + When Peace, at _Conway_’s call restor’d, + Bade kindred nations sheathe the sword? + How pleas’d he gave his people’s wishes way, + And turn’d out _North_, when _North_ refus’d to stay! + How in their sorrows sharing too, unseen, + For _Rockingham_ he mourn’d, at _Windsor_ with the Queen! + +IV. + His bounty, too, be mine to praise, + Myself th’ example of my lays, + A _Teller_ in reversion I; + And unimpair’d I vindicate my place, + The chosen subject of peculiar grace, + Hallow’d from hands of _Burke_’s economy: + For [2] so his royal word my Sovereign gave; + And sacred here I found that _word_ alone, + When not his Grandsire’s _Patent_, and his own, + To _Cardiff_, and to _Sondes_, their posts could save. + Nor should this chastity be here unsung, + That chastity, above his glory dear; + [3]But _Hervey_ frowning, pulls my ear, + Such praise, she swears, were satire from my tongue. + +V. + Fir’d at her voice, I grow prophane, + A louder yet, and yet a louder strain! + To THURLOW’s lyre more daring notes belong. + Now tremble every rebel soul! + While on the foes of George I roll + The deep-ton’d execrations of my song. + In vain my brother’s piety, more meek, + Would preach my kindling fury to repose; + Like _Balaam_’s ass, were he inspir’d to speak, + ’Twere vain! resolved I go to curse my Prince’s foes. + +VI. + “Begin! Begin!” fierce _Hervey_ cries, + See! the _Whigs_, how they rise! + What petitions present! + How _teize_ and _torment_! + D--mn their bloods, s--mn their hearts, d--mn their eyes. + Behold yon sober band + Each his notes in his hand; + The witnesses they, whom I brow-beat in vain; + Unconfus’d they remain. + Oh! d--mn their bloods again; + Give the curses due + To the factious crew! + Lo! _Wedgewood_ too waves his [4]_Pitt-pots_ on high! + Lo! he points, where the bottom’s yet dry, + The _visage immaculate_ bear; + Be _Wedgewood_ d--mn’d, and double d--mn’d his ware. + D--mn _Fox_, and d--mn _North_; + D--mn _Portland_’s mild worth; + D--mn _Devon_ the good, + Double d--mn all his name; + D--mn _Fitzwilliam_’s blood, + Heir of _Rockingham_’s fame; + D--mn _Sheridan_’s wit, + The terror of _Pitt_; + D--mn _Loughb’rough_, my plague--wou’d his _bagpipe_ were split! + D--mn _Derby_’s long scroll, + Fill’d with names to the brims: + D--mn his limbs, d--mn his soul, + D--mn his soul, d--mn his limbs! + With _Stormont_’s curs’d din, + Hark! _Carlisle_ chimes in; + D--mn _them_; d--mn all their partners of their sin; + D--mn them, beyond what mortal tongue can tell; + Confound, sink, plunge them all to deepest, blackest Hell! + + +[1] This simile of myself I made the other day, coming out of +Westminster Abbey. Lord _Uxbridge_ heard it. I think, however, +that I have improved it here, by the turn which follows. + +[2] I cannot here with-hold my particular acknowledgments to my +virtuous young friend, Mr. Pitt, for the noble manner in which +he contended, on the subject of my reversion, that the most religious +observance must be paid to the _Royal promise_. As I am personally +the more obliged to him, as in the case of the _Auditors of the +Imprest_ the other day, he did not think it necessary to shew any +regard whatever to a _Royal Patent_. + +[3] I originally wrote this line, + But _Hervey_ frowning, as she hears, &c. +It was altered as it now standsj by my d--mn’d Bishop of a brother, +for the sake of an allusion to _Virgil_. + ------Cynthius _aurem + Velit, et admonuit._ + +[4] I am told, that a scoundrel of a Potter, one Mr. _Wedgewood_, is +making 10,000 vile utensils, with a figure of Mr. Pitt in the bottom; +round the head is to be a motto, + We will spit, + On Mr. _Pitt_, +And _other such_ d--mn’d ryhmes, suited to the uses of the different +vessels. + + + + +_NUMBER XVII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE FOR MUSIC, + +BY THE REV. DR. PRETTYMAN. + +_The Notes (except those wherein Latin is concerned) by_ JOHN +ROBINSON, _Esq._ + +RECITATIVE, _by Double Voices._ + [1]Hail to the LYAR! whose all-persuasive strain, + Wak’d by the master-touch of art, + And prompted by th’ inventive brain, + [2]Winds its sly way into the easy heart. + +SOLO. + [3]Hark! do I hear the golden tone?-- + Responsive now! and now alone! + Or does my fancy rove? + Reason-born Conviction, hence! + [4]And phrenzy-rapt be ev’ry sense, + With the _Untruth_ I love. + Propitious Fiction aid the song; + Poet and Priest to thee belong. + +SEMI-CHORUS. + [5]By thee inspir’d, ere yet the tongue was glib, + The cradled infant lisp’d the nurs’ry fib; + Thy vot’ry in maturer youth, + Pleas’d, he renounc’d the name of truth; + And often dar’d the specious to defy, + Proud of th’ expansive, bold, uncover’d lie. + +AIR. + Propitious FICTION, hear! + And smile, as erst thy father smil’d + Upon his first-born child, + Thy sister dear; + When the nether shades among, + [6]Sin from his forehead sprung. + +FULL CHORUS. + Grand deluder! arch impostor! + Countervailing _Orde_ and _Foster_! + Renoun’d Divine! + The palm is thine: + Be thy name or sung or _hist_, + Alone it stands--CONSPICUOUS FABULIST! + +RECITATIVE _for the celebrated Female Singer from Manchester. +Symphony of Flutes--pianissimo._ + + Now in cotton robe array’d, + Poor Manufacture, tax-lamenting maid, + Thy story heard by her devoted wheel, + Each busy-sounding spindle hush’d-- + +FUGUE. + Now, dreading Irish rape, + Quick shifting voice and shape-- + +DEEP BASS, _from Birmingham._ + With visage hard, and furnace flush’d, + And black-hair’d chest, and nerve of steel, + The sex-chang’d listner stood + In surly pensive mood. + +AIR, _accompanied with double Bassoons, &c._ + While the promise-maker spoke + The anvil miss’d the wonted stroke; + In air suspended hammers hung, + While _Pitt_’s own frauds came mended from that tongue. + +PART OF CHORUS REPEATED. + Renown’d Divine, &c. + +AIR. + Sooth’d with the sound the Priest grew vain, + And all his tales told o’er again, + And added hundreds more; + By turns to this, or that, or both, + He gave the sanction of an oath, + And then the whole forswore. + “Truth,” he sung, “was toil and trouble, + Honour but an empty bubble”-- + _Glo’ster_’s aged--_London_ dying-- + Poor, too poor, is simple lying! + If the lawn be worth thy wearing, + Win, oh! win it, by thy swearing! + +FULL CHORUS REPEATED. + Grand deluder! arch-impostor, &c.[7] + +PART II. + +RECITATIVE _accompanied_. + Enough the parents praise--see of Deceit + The fairer progeny ascends! + _Evasion_, nymph of agile feet, + With half-veil’d face; + _Profession_, whispering accents sweet + And many a kindred _Fraud_ attends; + Mutely dealing courtly wiles, + Fav’ring nods, and hope-fraught smiles, + A fond, amusive, tutelary race, + That guard the home-pledg’d faith of Kings-- + Or flitting, light, on paper wings; + Speed Eastern guile across this earthly ball, + And waft it back from _Windsor_ to _Bengal_. + But chiefly thee I woo, of changeful eye, + In courts y’clept _Duplicity!_ + Thy fond looks on mine imprinting, + Vulgar mortals call it squinting-- + Baby, of Art and Int’rest bred, } + Whom, stealing to the back-stairs head } + in fondling arms--with cautious tread, } + [8]Wrinkle-twinkle _Jenky_ bore, + To the baize-lin’d closet door. + +AIR. + Sweet nymph, that liv’st unseen + Within that lov’d recess-- + Save when the Closet Councils press, + And junto’s speak the thing they mean; + Tell me, ever-busy power, + Where shall I trace thee in that vacant hour? + Art thou content, in the sequester’d grove, + To play with hearts and vows of love! + Or emulous of prouder sway, + Dost thou to list’ning Senates take thy way? + Thy presence let me still enjoy, + With _Rose_, and the lie-loving boy. + +AIR. + [9]No rogue that goes + Is like that _Rose_, + Or scatters such deceit: + Come to my breast-- + There ever rest + Associate counterfeit! + +_PART III._ + +LOUD SYMPHONY. + But lo! what throngs of rival bards! + More lofty themes! more bright rewards! + See Sal’sbury, a new Apollo sit! + Pattern and arbiter of wit! + The laureate wreathe hangs graceful from his wand; + Begin! he cries, and waves his whiter hand. + ’Tis _George_’s natal day-- + Parnassian Pegassus away-- + Grant me the more glorious steed + Of royal _Brunswick_ breed[10]---- + I kneel, I kneel; + And at his snowy heel, + Pindarick homage vow;-- + He neighs; he bounds; I mount, I fly-- + The air-drawn crosier in my eye, + The visionary mitre on my brow-- + Spirit of hierarchy exalt thy rhyme, + And dedicate to George the lie sublime. + +AIR _for a Bishop._ + [11]Hither, brethren, incense bring, + To the mitre-giving king; + Praise him for his first donations; } + Praise him for his blest translations, } + Benefices, dispensations. } + By the powers of a crown; + By the many made for one; + By a monarch’s awful distance, + Rights divine, and non-resistance, + Honour, triumph, glory give-- + Praise him in his might! + Praise him in his height! + The mighty, mighty height of his prerogative! + +RECITATIVE _by an Archbishop._ + Orchestras, of thousands strong, + With Zadoc’s zeal each note prolong-- + Prepare! + Prepare! + _Bates_ gives the animating nod-- + Sudden they strike--unnumber’d strings + Vibrate to the best of Kings-- + Eunuchs, Stentors, double basses, + Lab’ring lungs, inflated faces, + Bellows working, + Elbows jerking, + Scraping, beating, + Roaring, Sweating. + Thro’ the old Gothic roofs be the chorus rebounded, + ’Till Echo is deafen’d, and thunder dumb-founded: + And now another pause--and now another nod + --All proclaim a present God! + [12]_Bishops and Lords of the Bedchamber_, + George submissive Britain sways; + _Heavy_ Hanover obeys. + Proud Ierne’s volunteers, + Abject Commons, prostrate Peers-- + All proclaim a present God-- + (On the necks of all he trod) + A present God! + A present God! + _Hallelujah!_ + + + +[1] Hail to the LYAR!] It was suggested to me, that my friend +the Doctor had here followed the example of Voltaire, in deviating +from common orthography.--_Lyar_, instead of _Lyre_, he conceives to +be a reading of peculiar elegance in the present instance, as it +puts the reader in suspence between an inanimate and a living +instrument. However, for my own part, I am rather of opinion, +that this seeming mis-spelling arose from the Doctor’s following +the same well-known circumspection which he exercised in the case +of Mr. Wedgewood, and declining to give his Ode _under his hand_; +preferring to repeat it to Mr. Delpini’s Amanuensis, who very +probably may have committed that, and similar errors in orthography. + +[2] Winds its sly way, &c.] A line taken in great part from Milton. +The whole passage (which it may not be unpleasing to recall to +the recollection of the reader) has been closely imitated by +my friend Prettyman, in a former work. + “I, under fair pretence of friendly ends, + And well-placed words of glozing courtesy, + Baited with reasons not unplausible, + _Wind me into the easy-hearted man,_ + And hug him into snares.” COMUS. + +[3] Golden tone, &c.] The epithet may seem at first more proper +for the instrument, but it applies here with great propriety to +the sound. In the strictest-sense, what is golden sound but the sound +of gold? and what could arise more naturally in the writer’s mind +upon the present occasion? + +[4] Phrenzy-rapt, &c.] Auditis? An me ludit amabilis + Insania?---- + +[5] By thee inspir’d, &c.] In the first manuscript: + “While yet a cradled child, he conquer’d shame, + And lisp’d in fables, for the fables came.” See POPE. + +[6] Sin from his forehead sprung.] + “A goddess armed + Out of thy head I sprung.” + See MILTON’s Birth of Sin. + +[7] The quick transition of persons must have struck the reader in the +first part of this Ode, and it will be observable throughout: Now +Poet, now Muse, now Chorus; then Spinner, Blacksmith, &c. &c. The +Doctor, skips from point to point over Parnassus, with a nimbleness +that no modern imitator of Pindar ever equalled.--Catch him, even +under a momentary shape, who can. I was always an admirer of +tergiversation (and as my flatterers might say), no bad practitioner; +but it remained for my friend to shew the sublimity to which the +figure lam alluding to (I do not know the learned name of it) might be +carried. + +[8] Wrinkle-twinkle, &c.] It must have been already observed by +the sagacious reader, that our author can coin an epithet as well +as a fable. Wrinkles are as frequently produced by the motion of +the part as by the advance of age. The head of the distinguished +personage here described, though in the prime of his faculties, +he had more exercise in every sense than any head in the world. +Whether he means any illusion to the worship of the rising sun, +and imitates the Persian priests, whose grand act of devotion is +to turn round; or whether he merely thinks that the working of +the head in circles will give analogous effect to the species +of argument in which he excels, we must remain in the dark; but +certain it is, that whenever he reasons in public, the _capital_ +and wonderful part of the frame I am alluding to, is continually +revolving upon its axis: and his eyes, as if dazzled with rays +that dart on him exclusively, twinkle in their orbs at the rate +of sixty twinks to one revolution. I trust I have given a rational +account, and not far-fetched, both of the wrinkle and twinkle in +this ingenious compound. + +[9] No rogue that goes, &c.] The candid reader will put no improper +interpretation on the word rogue. Pretty rogue, dear rogue, &c. +are terms of endearment to one sex; pleasant rogue, witty rogue, +apply as familiar compliments to the other: Indeed _facetious rogue_ +is the common table appellation of this gentleman in Downing-street. + +[10] It will be observed by the attentive reader, that the thought +of mounting the Hanoverian Horse, as a Pegasus, has been employed +by Mr. Dundas, in his Ode preserved in this collection. It is true, +the Doctor has taken the reins out of his hands, as it was time +somebody should do. But I hereby forewarn the vulgar Critic, from +the poor joke of making the Doctor a horse-stealer. + +[11] Hither, brethren, &c.] When this Ode is performed in Westminster +Abbey (as doubtless it will be) this Air is designed for the Reverend, +or rather the Right Reverend Author. The numerous bench (for there +will hardly be more than three absentees) who will begin to chaunt +the subsequent chorus from their box at the right hand of his most +sacred Majesty, will have fine effect both on the ear and eye. + +[12] Lords of the bed-chamber, &c.] Candour obliges us to confess, +that this designation of the performers, and in truth the following +stanza, did not stand in the original copy, delivered into the +Lord Chamberlain’s Office. Indeed, Signor Delpini had his doubts +as to the legality of admitting it, notwithstanding Mr. Rose’s +testimony, that it was actually and _bona fide_ composed with the rest +of the Ode, and had only accidentally fallen into the same drawer +of Mr. Pitt’s bureau in which he had lately mislaid Mr. Gibbins’s +note. Mr. Banks’s testimony was also solicited to the same effect; +but he had left off vouching for the present session. Mr. Pepper +Arden, indeed, with the most intrepid liberality, engaged to find +authority for it in the statutes at large; on which Signor Delpini, +with his usual terseness of repartee, instantly exclaimed, Ha! ha! ha! +However, the difficulty was at length obviated by an observation of +the noble Lord who presided, that in the case of the King versus +Arkinson, the House of Lords had established the right: of judges +to amend a record, as Mr. Quarme had informed his Lordship +immediately after his having voted for that decision. + _Here end Mr. Robinson’s notes._ + “A present God, + Heavy Hanover, + Abject Commons,” &c. + The imitation will be obvious to the classical reader, + ------Præsens divus habebitur + Augustus, _ab_jectis Britannis, + Imperio, _gravibusque_ Persis. HOR. +All the editors of Horace have hitherto read _ad_jectis Britannis. +Our author, as sound a critic as a divine, _suo periculo_, makes +the alteration of a single letter, and thereby gives a new and +peculiar force to the application of the passage.----N.B. _Abject_, +in the author’s understanding of the word, means that precise degree +of submission due from a free people to monarchy. It is further worthy +remark, that Horace wrote the Ode alluded to; before Britain was +subjected to absolute sway; and consequently the passage was meant +as a prophetic compliment to Augustus. Those who do not think that +Britain is yet sufficiently _abject_, will regard the imitation in +the same light. We shall close this subject by observing, how much +better GRAVIBUS applies in the imitation than in the original; and +how well the untruth of Ierne’s volunteers joining in the deification, +exemplifies the dedicatory address of the lie SUBLIME! + + + + +_NUMBER XVIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ MARQUIS OF GRAHAM. + +I. + Help! help! I say, Apollo! + To you I call, to you I hollo; + My Muse would fain bring forth; + God of Midwives come along + Bring into light my little song, + See how its parent labours with the birth; + My brain! my brain! + What horrid pain; + Come, now prithee come, I say: } + Nay, if you won’t, then stay away-- } + Without thy help, I’ve sung full many a lay. } + +II. + To lighter themes let other bards resort; + My verse shall tell the glories of the Court. + Behold the Pensioners, a martial band; + Dreadful, with rusty battle-axe in hand-- + Quarterly and daily waiters, + A lustier troop, ye brave Beefeaters, + Sweepers, Marshals, Wardrobe brushers, + Patrician, and Plebeian ushers; + Ye too, who watch in inner rooms; + Ye Lords, ye Gentlemen, and Grooms; + Oh! careful guard your royal Master’s slumber, + Lest factious flies his sacred face incumber. + But ah! how weak my song! + Crouds still on crouds impetuous rush along, + I see, I see, the motly group appear, + Thurlow in front, and Chandos in the rear; + Each takes the path his various genius guides-- + O’er Cabinets _this_, and _that_ o’er Cooks presides! + +III. + Hail! too, ye beds, where, when his labour closes, + With ponderous limbs great CINCINNATUS doses! + Oh! say what fate the Arcadian King betides + When playful Mab his wandering fancy guides, + Perhaps he views his HOWARD’s wit + Make SHERIDAN submissive sit; + Perhaps o’er foes he conquest reaps: + Perhaps some ditch he dauntless leaps; + Now shears his people, now his mutton; + Now makes a Peer, and now a button. + Now mightier themes demand his care; + HASTINGS for assistance flies; + Bulses glittering skim the air; + Hands unstretch’d would grasp the prize, + But no diamond they find there; + For awak’d, by amorous pat, + Good lack! his gentle CHARLOTTE cries, + What would your Majesty be at? + The endearing question kindles fierce desire, + And all the monarch owns the lover’s fire; + The pious King fulfils the heav’nly plan, + And little annual BRUNSWICKS speak the mighty man! + +IV. + At Pimlico an ancient structure stands, + Where Sheffield erst, but Brunswick now commands; + Crown’d with a weathercock that points at will, + To every part but Constitution-hill-- + Hence Brunswick, peeping at the windows, + Each star-light night, + Looks with delight, + And sees unseen, + And tells the Queen, + What each who passes out or in, does, + Hence too, when eas’d of Faction’s dread, + With joys surveys, + The cattle graze, + At half a crown a head-- + Views the canal’s transparent flood, + Now fill’d with water, now with mud; + Where various seasons, various charms create, + Dogs in the summer swim, and boys in winter skait. + +V. + Oh! for the pencil of a Claud Lorrain, + Apelles, Austin, Sayer, or Luke the saint-- + What glowing scenes;--but ah! the grant were vain, + I know not how to paint---- + Hail! Royal Park! what various charms are thine-- + Thy patent lamps pale Cynthia’s rays outshine-- + Thy limes and elms with grace majestic grow, + All in a row; + Thy Mall’s smooth walk, and sacred road beside, + Where Treasury Lords by Royal Mandate ride. + Hark! the merry fife and drum: + Hark! of beaus the busy hum; + While in the gloom of evening shade, + Gay wood-nymphs ply their wanton trade; + Ah! nymphs too kind, each vain pursuit give o’er-- + If Death should call--you then can walk no more! + See the children rang’d on benches; + See the pretty nursery wenches; + The cows, secur’d by halters, stand, + Courting the ruddy milk-maid’s hand. + Ill-fated cows, when all your milk they’ve ta’en, + At Smithfield sold, you’ll fatten’d be and slain.-- + +VI. + Muse, raise thine eyes and quick behold, + The Treasury-office fill’d with gold; + Where Elliot, Pitt, and I, each day } + The tedious moments pass away, } + In business now, and now in play---- } + The gay Horse-guards, whose clock of mighty fame, + Directs the dinner of each careful dame, + Where soldiers with red coats equipp’d, + Are sometimes march’d, and sometimes whipp’d. + Let them not doubt---- + ’Twas heav’n’s eternal plan + That perfect bliss should ne’er be known to man. + Thus Ministers, are in--are out, + Turn and turn about---- + Even Pitt himself may lose his place, } + Or thou, Delpini, sovereign of grimace, } + Thou, too, by some false step, may’st meet disgrace. } + +VII. + Ye feather’d choristers, your voices tune, + ’Tis now, or near the fourth of June; + All nature smiles--the day of Brunswick’s birth + Destroy’d the iron-age, and made an heav’n on earth. + Men and beasts his name repeating, + Courtiers talking, calves a-bleating; + Horses neighing, + Asses braying, + Sheep, hogs, and geese, with tuneful voices sing, + All praise their King, + George the Third, the Great, the Good. + France and Spain his anger rue; + Americans, he conquer’d you, + Or would have done it if he cou’d. + And ’midst the general loyal note, + Shall not his _gosling_ tune his throat; + Then let me join the jocund hand, + Crown’d with laurel let me stand; + My grateful voice shall their’s as far exceed, + As the two-legg’d excels the base four-footed breed. + + + + +_NUMBER XIX._ + +LETTER FROM THE RT. HON. LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +TO THE EARL OF SALISBURY. + +MY LORD, +Being informed from undoubted authority, that the learned _Pierot_, +whom your Lordship has thought proper to nominate to the dignity +of your Assessor, knows no language but his own, it seemed to me +probable he might not understand _Irish_.--Now as I recollect my +last Ode to have proceeded on the orthography of that kingdom, +I thought his entire ignorance of the tongue might perhaps be some +hindrance to his judgment, upon its merit. On account of this +unhappy ignorance, therefore, on the part of the worthy _Buffo_, +of any language but _Italian_, I have taken the liberty to present +your Lordship and him with a second Ode, written in _English_; +which I hope he will find no difficulty in understanding, and which +certainly has the better chance of being perfectly correct in the +true English idiom, as it has been very carefully revised and +altered by my worthy friend, Mr. _Henry Dundas_. + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship’s devoted servant, + MOUNTMORRES. + + * * * * * + +ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARVEY REDMOND MORRES, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND, &c. + +I. + Ye gentle Nymphs, who rule the Song, + Who stray _Thessalian_ groves among, + With forms so bright and airy; + Whether you pierce _Pierian_ shades, } + Or, less refin’d, adorn the glades, } + And wanton with the lusty blades } + Of fruitful _Tipperary_; + Whether you sip Aonias’ wave, + Or in thy stream, fair _Liffy_, lave; + Whether you taste ambrosial food; + Or think _potatoes_ quite as good, + Oh, listen to an _Irish_ Peer, + Who has woo’d your sex for many a year. + +II. + _Gold!_--thou bright benignant pow’r! + Parent of the jocund hour, + Say, how my breast has heav’d with many a storm, + When thee I worship’d in a _female_ form! + Thou, whose high and potent skill, + Turns things and persons at thy will! + Thou, whose omnipotent decree, + Mighty as Fate’s eternal rule, + Can make a wise man of a fool, + And grace e’en loath’d deformity: + Can straitness give to her that’s crook’d, + And _Grecian_ grace to nose that’s hook’d; + Can smooth the mount on _Laura_’s back, + And wit supply to those that lack: + Say, and take pity on my woes, + Record my throbs, recount my throes; + How oft I sigh’d, + How oft I dy’d: + How oft dismiss’d, + How seldom kiss’d; + How oft, fair _Phyllida_, when thee I woo’d + With cautious foresight all thy charms I view’d. + O’er many a sod, + How oft I trod, + To count thy acres o’er; + Or spent my time, + For marle or lime, + With anxious zeal to bore[1]! + How _Cupid_ then all great and powerful sate, + Perch’d on the vantage of a rich estate; + When, for his darts, he us’d fair spreading trees, + Ah! _who_ cou’d fail that shot with shafts like these! + +III. + Oh, sad example of capricious Fate! + Sue _Irishmen_ in vain! + Does _Pompey_’s self, the proud, the great, + Fail e’en a maid to gain? + What boots my form so tall and slim, + My legs so stout--my beard so grim? + Why have I _Alexander_’s bend? + Emblem of conquest never gain’d! + A nose so long--a back so strait-- + A chairman’s mien--a chairman’s gait? + Why wasted ink to make orations? + Design’d to teach unlist’ning nations! + Why have I view’d th’ ideal clock[2], + Or mourn’d the visionary hour? + Griev’d to behold with well-bred shock, + The fancy’d pointer verge _to four?_ + Then with a bow, proceed to beg, + A general pardon on my leg-- + “Lament that to an hour so late,” + “’Twas mine to urge the grave debate!” + “Or mourn the rest, untimely broken!” + All this to say--all this to do, + In form so native, neat, and new, + In speech _intended_ to be spoken!-- + But fruitless all, for neither here or there, + My _leg_ has yet obtain’d me _place_, or _fair!_ + +IV. + _Pompeys_ there are of every shape and size: + Some are the Great, y-clep’d, and some the Little, + Some with their deeds that fill the wond’ring skies, + And some on ladies’ laps that eat their vittle! + ’Tis _Morres_’ boast--’tis _Morres_’ pride, + To be to both ally’d! + That of all various _Pompeys_, he + Forms one complete _epitome_! + Prepar’d alike fierce Faction’s host to fight, + Or, thankful, stoop _official crumbs_ to bite-- + No equal to himself on earth to own; + Or watch, with anxious eye, on _Treasury-bone!_ + As Rome’s fam’d chief, imperious, stiff, and proud; + Fawning as curs, when supplicating food! + In him their several virtues all reside, + The peerless Puppy, and of Peers the pride! + +V. + Say, Critic _Buffo_, will not powers like these, + E’en thy refin’d fastidious judgment please? + A common _butt_ to all mankind, + ’Tis my hard lot to be; + O let me then some justice find, + And give the BUTT to me! + Then dearest DE’L, + Thy praise I’ll tell, + And with _unprostituted_ pen. + In _Warton_’s pure and modest strain, + Unwarp’d by Hope--unmov’d by Gain, + I’ll call the “best of husbands,” and “most chaste of men!” + Then from my pristine labours I’ll relax: + _Then will I lay the Tree unto the [3]Axe!_ + Of all my former grief-- + Resign the bus’ness of the anxious chace, + And for past failures, and for past disgrace, + Here find a snug relief! + The vain pursuit of female game give o’er, + And, hound of _Fortune_, scour the town no more! + + +[1] When Lord Mountmorres went down into the country, some years +ago; to pay his addresses to a lady of large fortune, whose name +we forbear to mention, his Lordship took up his abode for several +days in a small public-house in the neighbourhood of her residence, +and employed his time in making all proper enquiries, and prudent +observation upon the nature, extent, and value of her property:--he +was seen measuring the trees with his eye, and was at last found +in the act of boring for marle; when being roughly interrogated +by one of the ladie’s servants, to avoid chastisement he confessed +his name, and delivered his amorous credentials. The amour terminated +as ten thousand others of the noble Lord’s have done! + +[2] An allusion is here made to a speech published by the noble Lord, +which, as the title-page imports, was _intended_ to have been spoken; +in which his Lordship, towards the conclusion, gravely +remarks:--“Having, Sir, so long encroached upon the patience of the +House, and observing by the clock that the hour has become so +excessively late, nothing remains for me but to return my sincere thanks +to you, Sir, and the other gentlemen of this House, for the particular +civility; and extreme attention, with which I have been heard:-- +the interesting nature of the occasion has betrayed me into a much +greater length than I had any idea originally of running into; +and if the casual warmth _of the moment_ has led me into the least +personal indelicacy towards any man alive, I am very ready to beg +pardon of him and this House, Sir, for having so done.” + +[3] This line is literally transcribed from a speech of Lord +_Mountmorre_’s, when Candidate some years ago for the Representation +of the City of Westminster. + + + + +_NUMBER XX._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, +FOR THE +KING’S BIRTH-DAY, +_By_ SIR GEORGE HOWARD, K. B. + +CHORUS. + Re mi fa sol, + Tol de rol lol. + +I. + My Muse, for George prepare the splendid song, + Oh may it float on Schwellenburgen’s voice! + Let Maids of Honour sing it all day long, + That Hoggaden’s fair ears may hear it, and rejoice. + +II. + What subject first shall claim thy courtly strains? + Wilt thou begin from Windsor’s sacred brow, + Where erst, with pride and pow’r elate, + The Tudors sate in sullen state, + While Rebel Freedom, forc’d at length to bow, + Retir’d reluctant from her fav’rite plains? + Ah! while in each insulting tower you trace + The features of that tyrant race, + How wilt thou joy to view the alter’d scene! + The Giant Castle quits his threat’ning mien; + The levell’d ditch no more its jaws discloses, } + But o’er its mouth, to feast our eyes and noses, } + Brunswick hath planted pinks and roses; } + Hath spread smooth gravel walks, and a small bowling green! + +III. + Mighty Sov’reign! Mighty Master! + George is content with lath and plaister! + At his own palace-gate, + In a poor porter’s lodge, by Chambers plann’d, + See him with Jenky, hand in hand, + In serious mood, + Talking! talking! talking! talking! + Talking of affairs of state, + All for his country’s good! + Oh! Europe’s pride! Britannia’s hope! + To view his turnips and potatoes, + Down his fair Kitchen-garden’s slope + The victor monarch walks like Cincinnatus. + See, heavenly Muse! I vow to God + ’Twas thus the laurel’d hero trod-- + Sweet rural joys! delights without compare! + Pleasure shines in his eyes, } + While George with surprize, } + Sees his cabbages rise, } + And his ’sparagus wave in the air! + +IV. + But hark! I hear the sound of coaches, + The Levee’s hour approaches-- + Haste, ye Postillions! o’er the turnpike road; + Back to St. James’s bear your royal load! + ’Tis done--his smoaking wheels scarce touch’d the ground-- + By the Old Magpye and the New, } + By Colnbrook, Hounslow, Brentford, Kew, } + Half choak’d with dust the monarch flew, } + And now, behold, he’s landed safe and sound.-- + Hail to the blest who tread this hallow’d ground! + Ye firm, invincible beefeaters, } + Warriors, who love their fellow-creatures, } + I hail your military features! } + Ye gentle, maids of honour, in stiff hoops, + Buried alive up to your necks, + Who chaste as Phœnixes in coops, + Know not the danger that await your sex! + Ye Lords, empower’d by fortune or desert, + Each in his turn to change your sovereign’s shirt! + Ye Country Gentlemen, ye City May’rs, + Ye Pages of the King’s back-stairs, + Who in these precincts joy to wait-- + Ye courtly wands, so white and small, + And you, great pillars of the State, + Who at Stephen’s slumber, or debate, + Hail to you all!!! + +CHORUS. + Hail to you all!!! + +V. + Now, heavenly Muse, thy choicest song prepare: + Let loftier strains the glorious subject suit: + Lo! hand in hand, advance th’ enamour’d pair, + This Chatham’s son, and that the drudge of Bute; + Proud of their mutual love, + Like Nisus and Euryalus they move, + To Glory’s steepest heights together tend, + Each careless for himself, each anxious for his friend! + Hail! associate Politicians! + Hail! sublime Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish Propositions! + Sooner our gracious King + From heel to heel shall cease to swing; + Sooner that brilliant eye shall leave its socket; + Sooner that hand desert the breeches pocket, + Than constant George consent his friends to quit, + And break his plighted faith to Jenkinson and Pitt! + +CHORUS. + Hail! most prudent Politicians! + Hail! correct Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish propositions! + +VI. + Oh! deep unfathomable Pitt! + To thee Ierne owes her happiest days! + Wait a bit, + And all her sons shall loudly sing thy praise! + Ierne, happy, happy Maid! + Mistress of the Poplin trade! + Old Europa’s fav’rite daughter, + Whom first emerging from the water, + In days of yore, + Europa bore, + To the celestial Bull! + Behold thy vows are heard, behold thy joys are full! + Thy fav’rite Resolutions greet, + They’re not much changed, there’s no deceit! + Pray be convinc’d, they’re still the true ones, + Though sprung from thy prolific head, + Each resolution hath begotten new ones, + And like their sires, all Irish born and bred! + Then haste, Ierne, haste to sing, + God save great George! God save the King! + May thy sons’ sons to him their voices tune, + And each revolving year bring back the fourth of June! + + + + +_NUMBER XXI._ + +ADDRESS. + +Agreeably to the request of the Right Reverend Author, the following +Ode is admitted into this collection; and I think it but justice +to declare, that I have diligently scanned it on my fingers; and, +after repeated trials, to the best of my knowledge, believe the Metre +to be of the Iambic kind, containing three, four, five, and six feet +in one line, with the occasional addition of the hypercatalectic +syllable at stated periods. I am, therefore, of opinion, that +the composition is certainly verse; though I would not wish to +pronounce too confidently. For further information I shall print +his Grace’s letter. + +TO SIR JOHN HAWKINS, BART. + +SIR JOHN, +As I understand you are publishing an authentic Edition of the +Probationary Odes. I call upon you to do me the justice of inserting +the enclosed. It was rejected on the Scrutiny by Signor Delpini, +for reasons which must have been suggested by the malevolence +of some rival. The reasons were, 1st, That the Ode was nothing +but prose, written in an odd manner; and, 2dly, That the Metre, +if there be any, as well as many of the thoughts, are stolen from +a little Poem, in a Collection called the UNION. To a man, blest +with an ear so delicate as your’s, Sir John, I think it unnecessary +to say any thing on the first charge; and as to the second, (would +you believe it?) the Poem from which I am accused of stealing is +my own! Surely an Author has a right to make free with his own ideas, +especially when, if they were ever known, they have long since +been forgotten by his readers. You are not to learn, Sir John, +that _de non apparentibus & non existentibus eadem est ratio:_ +and nothing but the active spirit of literary jealousy, could +have dragged forth my former Ode from the obscurity, in which +it has long slept, to the disgrace of all good taste in the present +age. However, that you and the public may see, how little I have +really taken, and how much I have opened the thoughts, and improved +the language of that little, I send you _my imitations of myself_, +as well as some few explanatory notes, necessary to elucidate +my classical and historical allusions. + + I am, SIR JOHN, + With every wish for your success, + Your most obedient humble servant, + WILLIAM YORK. + + * * * * * + +PINDARIC ODE, + +By DR. W. MARKHAM, +Lord Archbishop of York, Primate of England, and Lord High Almoner +to his Majesty, formerly Preceptor to the Princes, Head Master of +Westminster School, &c. &c. &c. + +STROPHE I. + The priestly mind what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure prelatic spirit, + As loyal gratitude? + More to my King, than to my God, I owe; + God and my father made me man, + Yet not without my mother’s added aid; + But George, without, or God, or man, + With grace endow’, and hallow’d me Archbishop. + +ANTISTROPHE I. + In Trojan PRIAM’s court a laurel grew; + So VIRGIL sings. But I will sing the laurel, + Which at St. JAMES’s blooms. + O may I bend my brows from that blest tree, + Not flourishing in native green, + Refreshed with dews from AGANIPPE’s spring: + But, [1]like the precious plant of DIS, + Glitt’ring with gold, with royal sack irriguous. + +EPODE I. + So shall my aukward gratitude, + With fond presumption to the Laureat’s duty + Attune my rugged numbers blank. + Little I reck the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, + And tell of Tory principles, + The right Divine of Kings; + And Power Supreme that brooks not bold contention: + Till all the zeal monarchial + That fired the Preacher, in the Bard shall blaze, + And what my Sermons were, my Odes once more shall be. + +STROPHE II. + [2]Good PRICE, to Kings and me a foe no more, + By LANSDOWN won, shall pay with friendly censure + His past hostility. + Nor shall not He assist, my pupil once, + Of stature small, but doughty tongue, + Bold ABINGDON, whose rhetoric unrestrain’d, + Rashes, more lyrically wild, + [3]Than GREENE’s mad lays, when he out-pindar’d PINDAR. + +ANTISTROPHE II. + With him too, EFFINGHAM his aid shall join, + [4] Who, erst by GORDON led, with bonfires usher’d + His Sov’reign’s natal month. + Secure in such allies, to princely themes, + To HENRY’s and to EDWARD’s young. + Dear names, I’ll meditate the faithful song; + How oft beneath my birch severe, + Like EFFINGHAM and ABINGDON, they tingled: + +EPODE II. + Or to the YOUTH IMMACULATE + Ascending thence, I’ll sing the strain celestial, + By PITT, to bless our isle restor’d. + _Trim_ plenty, _not luxuriant_ as of old, + Peace, laurel-crown’d no more; + [5] Justice, that smites by scores, unmov’d; + And her of verdant locks, + Commerce, like Harlequin, in motley vesture, + [6]Whose magic sword with sudden sleight, + Wav’d o’er the HIBERNIAN treaty, turns to bonds, + The dreams of airy wealth, that play’d round PATRICK’s[7] eyes. + +STROPHE III. + But lo! yon bark, that rich with India spoils, + O’er the wide-swilling ocean rides triumphant, + Oh! to BRITANNIA’s shore + In safety waft, ye winds, the precious freight! + ’Tis HASTINGS; of the prostrate EAST + Despotic arbiter; whose [8] bounty gave + My MARKHAM’s delegated rule + To riot in the plunder of BENARES. + +ANTISTROPHE III. + How yet affrighted GANGES, oft distain’d + With GENTOO carnage, quakes thro’ all his branches! + Soon may I greet the morn, + When, HASTINGS screen’d, DUNDAS and GEORGE’s name. + Thro’ BISHOPTHORP’s[9] glad roofs shall sound, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or in thy chosen PLACE, ST. JAMES, + Be carol’d loud amid th’ applauding IMHOFFS! + +EPODE III. + When wealthy Innocence, pursued + By Factious Envy, courts a Monarch’s succour, + Mean gifts of vulgar cost, alike + Dishonour him, who gives, and him, who takes. + Not thus shall HASTINGS sav’d, + Thee, BRUNSWICK, and himself disgrace. + [10]O may thy blooming Heir, + In virtues equal, be like thee prolific! + Till a new race of little GUELPS, + Beneath the rod of future MARKHAMS train’d, + Lisp on their Grandsire’s knee his mitred Laureat’s lays. + + +[1] See Virgil’s Æneid, b. vi. + +[2] During the Administration of Lord SHELBURNE, I was told by +a friend of mine, that Dr. PRICE took occasion, in his presence, +to declare the most lively abhorrence of the damnable heresies, +which he had formerly advanced against the _Jure divino_ doctrines, +contained in some of my Sermons. + +[3] See a translation of PINDAR, by EDWARD BURNABY GKEENE. + +[4] This alludes wholly to a private anecdote, and in no degree +to certain malicious reports of the noble Earl’s conduct during +the riots of June, 1780. + +[5] The present Ministry have twice gratified the public, with +the awfully sublime spectacle of twenty hanged at one time. + +[6] These three lines, I must confess, have been interpolated +since the introduction of the fourth Proposition in the new _Irish_ +Resolutions. They arose, however, quite naturally out of my preceding +personification of commerce. + +[7] I have taken the liberty of employing _Patrick_ in the same +sense as _Paddy_, to personify the people of _Ireland_. The latter +name was too colloquial for the dignity of my blank verse. + +[8] One of the many frivolous charges brought against Mr. Hastings +by factious men, is the removal of a Mr. FOWKE, contrary to the +orders of the Directors, that he might make room for his own +appointment of my so to the Residentship of BENARES. I have ever +thought it my duty to support the late Governor-General, both at +Leadenhall and in the House of Peers, against all such vexatious +accusations. + +[9] As many of my Competitors have complained of Signer Delpini’s +ignorance, I cannot help remarking here, that he did not know +BISHOPTHORP to be the name of my palace, in Yorkshire; he did +not know Mr. Hastings’s house to be in St. James’s-place; he did +not know Mrs. Hastings to have two sons by Mynheer _Imhoff_, her +former husband, still living. And what is more shameful than +all in a Critical Assessor, he had never heard of the poetical +figure, by which I elegantly say, _thy place, St. James’s,_ instead +of _St. James’s-place_. + +[10] Signor Delpini wanted to strike out all that follows, because +truly it had no connection with the rest. The transition, like +some others in this and my former Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq. may +be too fine for vulgar apprehensions, but it is therefore the +more Pindaric. + + +IMITATIONS OF MYSELF. + +_Strophe_ I. + This goodly frame what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure ætherial spirit, + As mild benevolence? + _My Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq._ + +_Epode_ I. + How shall my aukward gratitude, + And the presumption of untutor’d duty + Attune thy numbers all too rude? + Little he recks the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ II. + To HENRYS and to EDWARDS old, + Dread names, I’ll meditate the faithful song, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ II. + Justice with steady brow, + _Trim_ plenty, _Laureat_ peace, and _green-hair’d_ commerce, + In flowing robe of _thousand hues_, &c. +On this imitation of myself, I cannot help remarking, how happily +I have now applied some of these epithets, which, it must be +confessed, had not half the propriety before. + +_Strophe_ III. + Or trace her navy, where in towering pride + O’er the wide-swelling waste it rolls avengeful. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ III. + How headlong Rhone and Ebro, erst distain’d + With Moorish carnage, quakes thro’ all her branches! + Soon shall I greet the morn, + When, Europe saved, BRITAIN and GEORGE’s name + Shall soon o’er FLANDRIA’s level field, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or by the jolly mariner + Be carol’d loud adown the echoing Danube. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ III. + O may your rising hope, + Well-principled in every virtue, bloom, + ’Till a fresh-springing flock implore, + With infant hands, a Grandsire’s powerful prayer, + Or round your honour’d couch their pratling sports pursue. + + + + +_NUMBER XXII._ + +ODE, + +_By the_ REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. + +Fellow of the Trinity College, in Oxford, late Professor of Poetry +in that University, and now Poet Laureat to his Majesty. + +I. + Amid the thunder of the war, + True glory guides no echoing car; + Nor bids the sword her bays bequeath; + Nor stains with blood her brightest wreath: + No plumed host her tranquil triumphs own: + Nor spoils of murder’d multitudes she brings, + To swell the state of her distinguish’d, kings, + And deck her chosen throne. + On that fair throne, to Britain dear, + With the flowering olive twin’d, + High she hangs the hero’s spear; + And there, with all the palms of peace combin’d, + Her unpolluted hands the milder trophy rear. + To kings like these, her genuine theme, + The Muse a blameless homage pays; + To GEORGE, of kings like these supreme, + She wishes honour’d length of days, + Nor prostitutes the tribute of her lays. + +II. + ’Tis his to bid neglected genius glow, + And teach the regal bounty how to flow; + His tutelary sceptre’s sway + The vindicated Arts obey, + And hail their patron King: + ’Tis his to judgment’s steady line + Their flights fantastic to confine, + And yet expand their wing: + The fleeting forms of Fashion to restrain, + And bind capricious Taste in Truth’s eternal chain. + Sculpture, licentious now no more, + From Greece her great example takes, + With Nature’s warmth the marble wakes, + And spurns the toys of modern lore: + In native beauty, simply plann’d, + Corinth, thy tufted shafts ascend; + The Graces guide the painter’s hand, + His magic mimicry to blend. + +III. + While such the gifts his reign bestows, + Amid the proud display, + Those gems around the throne he throws + That shed a softer ray: + While from the summits of sublime Renown + He wafts his favour’s universal gale, + With those sweet flowers he binds a crown + That bloom in Virtue’s humble vale. + With rich munificence, the nuptial tye, + Unbroken he combines:---- + Conspicuous in a nation’s eye, + The sacred pattern shines! + Fair Science to reform, reward, and raise, + To spread the lustre of domestic praise; + To foster Emulation’s holy flame, + To build Society’s majestic frame: + Mankind to polish and to teach, + Be this the monarch’s aim; + Above Ambition’s giant-reach + The monarch’s meed to claim. + +The illustrious _Arbiters_, of whom we may with great truth describe +the noble Earl as the very _alter-ipse_ of _Mæcenas_, and the worthy +_Pierot_, as the most correct counterpart of _Petronius_, had +carefully revised the whole of the preceding productions, and had +indulged the defeated ambition of restless and aspiring Poetry, with a +most impartial and elaborate _Scrutiny_ (the whole account of which, +faithfully translated from the Italian of _Signor Delpini_, and the +English of the _Earl of Salisbury_, will, in due time, be submitted +to the inspection of the curious), were preparing to make a legal +return, when an event happened that put a final period to their +proceedings.--The following is a correct account of this interesting +occurrence: + +On Sunday the 17th of the present month, to wit, July, Anno Domini, +1785, just as his Majesty was ascending the stairs of his gallery, +to attend divine worship at WINDSOR, he was surprized by the +appearance of a little, thick, squat, red-faced man, who, in a +very odd dress, and kneeling upon one knee, presented a piece of +paper for the Royal acceptation. His Majesty, amazed at the sight +of such a figure in such a place, had already given orders to one +of the attendant beef-eaters to dismiss him from his presence, +when, by a certain hasty spasmodic mumbling, together with two or +three prompt quotations from Virgil, the person was discovered to be +no other than the Rev. Mr. _Thomas Warton_ himself, dressed in the +official vesture of his professorship, and the paper which he held +in his hand being nothing else but a fair-written petition, designed +for the inspection of his Majesty, our gracious Sovereign, made up +for the seeming rudeness of the first reception, by a hearty embrace +on recognition; and the contents of the petition being forthwith +examined, were found to be pretty nearly as follows.----We omit +the common-place compliments generally introduced in the exordia +of these applications, as “relying upon your Majesty’s well-known +clemency;” “convinced of your Royal regard for the real interest +of your subjects;” “penetrated with the fullest conviction of your +wisdom and justice,” &c. &c. which, though undoubtedly very true, +when considered as addressed to George the Third, _might_, perhaps, +as matters of mere form, be applied to a Sovereign, who neither +had proved wisdom nor regard for his subjects in one act of his reign, +and proceed to the substance and matter of the complaint itself. +It sets forth, “That the Petitioner, Mr. _Thomas_, had been many years +a maker of Poetry, as his friend Mr. _Sadler_, the pastry-cook, of +Oxford, and some other creditable witnesses, could well evince: +that many of his works of fancy, and more particularly that one, +which is known by the name of his _Criticisms upon Milton_, had been +well received by the learned; that thus encouraged, he had entered +the list, together with many other great and respectable candidates, +for the honour of a succession to the vacant _Laureatship_; that a +decided return had been made in his favour by the officers best +calculated to judge, namely, the Right Hon. the Earl of Salisbury, +and the learned _Signor Delpini_, his Lordship’s worthy coadjutor; +that the Signor’s delicacy, unhappily for the Petitioner, like that +of Mr. _Corbett_, in the instance of the Westminster election, had +inclined him to the grant of a SCRUTINY; that in consequence of the +vexatious and pertinacious perseverance on the part of several +gentlemen in this illegal and oppressive measure, the Petitioner +had been severely injured in his spirits, his comforts, and his +interest: that he had been for many years engaged in a most laborious +and expensive undertaking, in which he had been honoured with the +most liberal communications from all the universities in Europe, +to wit, a splendid and most correct edition of the _Poemata Minora_, +of the immortal Mr. _Stephen Duck_; that he was also under positive +articles of literary partnership with his brother, the learned and +well-known Dr. _Joseph_, to supply two pages per day in his new work, +now in the press, entitled his Essay _on the Life and Writings_ of +Mr. THOMAS HICKATHRIFT; in both of which great undertakings, the +progress had been most essentially interrupted by the great anxiety +and distress of mind, under which the Petitioner has for some time +laboured, on account of this inequitable scrutiny; that the Petitioner +is bound by his honour and his engagement to prepare a new Ode for +the birth-day of her most gracious Majesty, which he is very desirous +of executing with as much poetry, perspicuity, and originality, as +are universally allowed to have characterised his last effusion, +in honour of the Natal Anniversary of his Royal Master’s sacred +self; that there are but six months to come for such a preparation, +and that the Petitioner has got no farther yet than ’Hail Muse!’ +in the first stanza, which very much inclines him to fear he shall +not be able to finish the whole in the short period above-mentioned, +unless his Majesty should be graciously pleased to order some of +his Lords of the Bed-chamber to assist him, or should command a +termination to the vexatious enquiry now pending. In humble hopes +that these several considerations would have their due influence +with his Majesty, the Petitioner concludes with the usual prayer, +and signed himself as underneath, &c. &c. &c. + THO. WARTON, B.D. &c. &c.” + +Such was the influence of the above admirable appeal on the +sympathetic feelings of Majesty, that the sermon, which we understand +was founded upon the text, “_Let him keep his tongue from evil, and +his lips that they speak no untruth_,” and which was _not_ preached by +Dr. _Prettyman_, was entirely neglected, and a message instantly +written, honoured by the Sign Manual, and directed to the office +of the Right Hon. Lord _Sydney_, Secretary for the Home Department, +enjoining an immediate redress for Mr. _Thomas_, and a total +suspension of any further proceedings in a measure which (as the +energy of Royal eloquence expressed it) was of such unexampled +injustice, illegality, and oppression, as that of a _scrutiny after a +fair poll, and a decided superiority of admitted suffrages_. This +message, conveyed, as its solemnity well required, by no other Person +than the Honourable young _Tommy_ himself, Secretary to his amazing +father, had its due influence with the Court; the Noble Lord broke his +wand; Mr. _Delpini_ executed a _chacone_, and tried at a _somerset_; +he grinned a grim obedience to the mandate, and calling for pen, ink, +and paper, wrote the following letter to the Printer of that favourite +diurnal vehicle through whose medium these effusions had been +heretofore submitted to the public: + +“_Monsieur_, +On vous requis, you are hereby commandie not to pooblish any more +of de _Ode Probationare--mon cher ami, Monsieur George le Roi_, says +it be ver bad to vex Monsieur le petit homme avec le grand +paunch--_Monsieur Wharton_, any more vid scrutinée; je vous commande +derefore to finis--Que le Roi soit loué!--God save de King! mind vat I +say--ou le grand George and le bon Dieu damn votre ame & bodie, vos +jambes, & vos pies, for ever and ever--pour jamais. + (Signed) DELPINI.” + +Nothing now remained, but for the Judges to make their return, +which having done in favour of Mr. _Thomas Warton_, the original +object of their preference, whom they now pronounced duly elected, +the following Imperial notice was published in the succeeding +Saturday’s _Gazette_, confirming the Nomination, and giving legal +Sanction to the Appointment. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + +To all CHRISTIAN PEOPLE to whom these presents shall come, greeting, + +Know Ye, That by and with the advice, consent, concurrence, and +approbation of our right trusty and well-beloved cousins, James Cecil, +Earl of Salisbury, and Antonio Franciso Ignicio Delpini, Esq. Aur. +and Pierot to the Theatre-royal, Hay-market, WE, for divers good +causes and considerations, us thereunto especially moving, have +made, ordained, nominated, constituted, and appointed, and by +these presents do make, ordain, nominate, constitute, and appoint, +the Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. to be our true and only legal Laureat, +Poet, and Poetaster; that is to say, to pen, write, compose, +transpose, select, dictate, compile, indite, edite, invent, design, +steal, put together, transcribe, frame, fabricate, manufacture, +make, join, build, scrape, grub, collect, vamp, find, discover, +catch, smuggle, pick-up, beg, borrow, or buy, in the same manner +and with the same privileges as have been usually practised, and +heretofore enjoyed by every other Laureat, whether by our Sacred +Self appointed, or by our Royal predecessors, who now dwell with +their fathers: and for this purpose, to produce, deliver, chaunt, +or sing, as in our wisdom aforesaid we shall judge proper, at the +least three good and substantial Odes, in the best English or +German verse, in every year, that is to say, one due and proper Ode +on the Nativity of our blessed Self; one due and proper Ode on +the Nativity of our dearest and best beloved Royal Consort, for +the time being; and also one due and proper Ode on the day of the +Nativity of every future Year, of which God grant We may see many. +And we do hereby most strictly command and enjoin, that no Scholar, +Critic, Wit, Orthographer, or Scribbler, shall, by gibes, sneers, +jests, judgments, quibbles, or criticisms, molest, interrupt, +incommode, disturb, or confound the said Thomas Warton, or break the +peace of his orderly, quiet, pains-taking, and inoffensive Muse, in +the said exercise of his said duty. And we do hereby will and direct, +that if any of the person or persons aforesaid, notwithstanding our +absolute and positive command, shall be found offending against +this our Royal Proclamation, that he, she, or they being duly +convicted, shall, for every such crime and misdemeanor, be punished +in the manner and form following; to wit--For the first offence he +shall be drawn on a sledge to the most conspicuous and notorious +part of our ever faithful city of London, and shall then and there, +with an audible voice, pronounce, read, and deliver three several +printed speeches of our right, trusty, and approved MAJOR JOHN +SCOTT.--For the second offence, that he be required to translate into +good and lawful English one whole unspoken speech of our right +trusty and well-beloved cousin and councellor, Lord Viscount +MOUNTMORRES, of the kingdom of _Ireland_;--and for the third offence, +that he be condemned to read one whole page of the Poems, Essays, +or Criticisms of our said Laureat, Mr. Thomas Warton.----And whereas +the said office of Laureat is a place of the last importance, +inasmuch as the person holding it has confided to him the care +of making the Royal virtues known to the world; and we being minded +and desirous that the said T. Warton should execute and perform +the duties of his said office with the utmost dignity and decorum, +NOW KNOW YE, That we have thought it meet to draw up a due and +proper Table of Instructions, hereunto annexed, for the use of +the said Thomas Warton, in his said poetical exercise and employment, +which we do hereby most strictly will and enjoin the said Thomas +Warton to abide by and follow, under pain of incurring our most +high displeasure. + + Given at our Court at St. James’s, this + 30th day of May, one thousand seven + hundred and eighty-five. + _Vivant Rex & Regina._ + + + + +TABLE OF INSTRUCTIONS + +FOR THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. AND P.L. &c. &c. + _Chamberlain’s Office, May 30th, 1785._ + +1st, That in fabricating the catalogue of Regal Virtues (in which +task the Poet may much assist his invention by perusing the Odes +of his several predecessors) you be particularly careful not to +omit his Chastity, his skill in Mechanics, and his Royal Talent +of Child-getting.-- + +2dly, It is expected that you should be very liberally endowed +with the gift of Prophecy; but be very careful not to predict any +event but what may be perfectly acceptable to your Sovereign, such +as the subjugation of America, the destruction of the Whigs, +long-life, &c. &c. + +3dly, That you be always provided with a due assortment of true, +good-looking, and legitimate words; and that you do take all +necessary care not to apply them but on their proper occasions; +as for example, not to talk of dove-eyed peace, nor the gentle +olive, in time of war; nor of trumpets, drums, fifes, nor +[1]ECHOING CARS, in times of peace--as, for the sake of poetical +conveniency, several of your predecessors have been known to do. + +4thly, That as the Sovereign for the time being must always be +the best, the greatest, and the wisest, that ever existed; so +the year also, for the time being, must be the happiest, the +mildest, the fairest, and the most prolific that ever occurred.--What +reflections upon the year past you think proper. + +5thly, That Music being a much higher and diviner science than +Poetry, your Ode must always be adapted to the Music, and not +the Music to your Ode.--The omission of a line or two cannot be +supposed to make any material difference either in the poetry +or in sense. + +6thly, That as these sort of invitations have of late years been +considered by the Muses as mere cards of compliment, and of course +have been but rarely accepted, you must not waste more than twenty +lines in invoking the Nine, nor repeat the word “Hail!” more than +fifteen times at farthest. + +7thly, And finally, That it may not be amiss to be a little +intelligible[2]. + +[1] It is evident from this expression, that these instructions +had not been delivered to Mr. Warton at the time of his writing +his last famous Ode on the Birth-day of his Majesty: a circumstance +which makes that amazing composition still more extraordinary. + +[2] This is an additional proof that Mr. Warton had not received, +the Instructions at the time he composed his said Ode. + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES; + +BY +THE AUTHORS +OF +_THE ROLLIAD_ +AND +PROBATIONARY ODES. + + * * * * * + + -- LONGÆVO DICTA PARENTI + HAUD DUBITANDA REFER. VIRGIL. + + + + +TO THE PUBLIC. + +The very favourable reception given to the ROLLIAD, and PROBATIONARY +ODES, has induced the Editor to conceive, that a collection of +political _Jeus d’Esprits_, by the authors of those celebrated +performances, would prove equally acceptable. Various publications +upon a similar plan have already been attempted; but their good +things have been so scantily interspersed, that they have appeared +like GRATIANO’s reasons, “_as two grains of_ WHEAT _in a bushel of_ +CHAFF.” In the present Edition are contained not only a number +of pieces which have at different times been given to the Public, +but also a variety of Original Articles, which but for the flattering +confidence of private friendship, would have still remained in +the closets of their authors. MISCELLANIES, indeed, in any state, +from the variety which they afford, must ever be attractive; but, +when added to this inherent advantage, they also possess the benefit +of a proper selection, their attraction must of necessity become +materially enhanced. The fame of the Authors of the following +sheets is too well established in the mind of every person of +taste and literature, to derive any aid from our feeble panegyric. +It is only to be lamented that, from the peculiar circumstances +under which these their poetical offspring make their appearance, +the Parents’ names cannot be announced to the world with all that +parade which accompanies a more legal intercourse with the Muses. +Perhaps, however, the vigour and native energy of the Parents, +appear much more prominent in these ardent inspirations of nature, +than in the cold, nerveless, unimpassioned efforts of a legitimate +production. It may here be objected by some fastidious critics, +that if writings, evidently so reputable to the fame of the authors, +are of such a construction as to be unfit to be acknowledged, that +they are equally unfit for publication: but let these gentlemen +recollect, that it has ever been held perfectly justifiable to +utter those sarcasms under a masque, which the strict rules of +decorum would render inadmissible in any other situation. The shafts +of ridicule have universally been found more efficacious in correcting +folly and impertinence, than the most serious reproof; and while +we pursue the example of POPE, SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, ADDISON, and others +of the wittiest, the wisest, and the best men of the age in which +they lived, we shall little fear the cavils of ill-nature. If it +should be urged that the subjects of these political productions +are merely temporary, and will be forgotten with the hour which +gave them birth; let it at the same time be recollected, that though +the heroes of the DUNCIAD have sunk into their native obscurity, +the reputation of the poem which celebrated their worth, still +retains its original splendour. And, in truth, as a matter of equity, +if blockheads and dunces are worthy to be recorded in the Poet’s +page, why may not Privy Councillors and Lords of the Bedchamber +demand a similar exaltation? + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +PROBATIONARY ODE +EXTRAORDINARY, +_By the Rev_. W. MASON, M.A. + +[The following second attempt of Mr. MASON, at the ROYAL SACK, was +not inserted in the celebrated collection of Odes formed by Sir +JOHN HAWKINS.--What might be the motive of the learned Knight for +this omission can at present only be known to himself.--Whether +he treasured it up for the next edition of his Life of Dr. JOHNSON, +or whether he condemned it for its too close resemblance to a +former elegant lyric effusion of the Rev. Author, must remain for +time, or Mr, FRANCIS BARBER, to develope.--Having, however, been +fortunate enough to procure a copy, we have printed both the Odes +in opposite leaves, that in case the latter supposition should +turn out to be well founded, the public may decide how far the worthy +magistrate was justified in this exclusion.] + + +ODE ODE + +_To the Honourable_ WILLIAM PITT. _To the Right Hon._ WILLIAM PITT. + +_By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ _By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ + + Μή νὺν, οτι φθονεραὶ “Give not the Mitre now! + Θνατὣν φρένας ἀμφικρέμανται έλπίδες, Lest base-tongued ENVY squinting at my + brow, + Μήτ᾽ ἀρετάν ποτε σιγάτω πατρῴαν, Cry, ’lo! the price for CAVENDISH + betray’d!’ + Μηδὲ τούσδ ὕμνους. But in good time nor that, oh! PITT! + PINDAR, Isthm. Ode 2. forget, + Nor my more early service yet unpaid, + My puffs on CHATHAM in his offspring’s + aid, + Not what this loyal Ode shall add to + swell the debt.” + MY OWN TRANSLATION. + + + I. I. + ’Tis May’s meridian reign; yet Eurus ’Tis now the TENTH of APRIL; yet the + cold wind + Forbids each shrinking thorn its In frigid fetters doth each blossom + leaves unfold, bind, + Or hang with silver buds her rural No silver buds her rural throne + throne: emboss: + No primrose shower from her green lap No violets _blue_ from her _green_ lap + she throws[1], she throws[2]; + No daisy, violet, or cowslip blows, Oh! lack-a-daisy! not a daisy blows, + And Flora weeps her fragrant And (ere she has them) FLORA weeps + offspring gone. their loss. + Hoar frost arrests the genial dew; Hoar frost, with bailiff’s grizly + hue, + To wake, to warble, and to woo At Winter’s suit, arrests the dew; + No linnet calls his drooping No Cuckow wakes her drowsy mate: + love: + Shall then the poet strike the His harp then shall a Parson + lyre, strum, + When mute are all the feather’d When other Blackbirds all are + quire, dumb, + And Nature fails to warm the syrens of When neither Starlings, Daws, or + the grove? Magpies prate? + + II. II. + He shall: for what the sullen Spring He shall: for what the sulky Spring + denies denies, + The orient beam of virtuous youth An annual butt of sugar’d SACK + supplies: supplies; + That moral dawn be his inspiring That beverage sweet be his inspiring + flame. flame, + Beyond the dancing radiance of the Cloath’d in the radiant influence of + east the East, + Thy glory, son of CHATHAM! fires his Thy glory, son of CHATHAM, fires his + breast, breast; + And proud to celebrate thy vernal And swift to adulate thy vernal + fame. fame, + Hark, from this lyre the strain Hark! from his lyre a strain is + ascends, heard, + Which but to Freedom’s fav’rite In hopes, ere long, to be + friends preferred, + That lyre disdains to sound. To sit in state ’midst mitred + peers. + Hark and approve, as did thy Hark and approve! as did thy sire, + sire[3] + The lays which once with kindred The lays which, nodding by the + fire fire, + His muse in attic mood made Mona’s To gentle slumbers sooth’d his + oaks rebound. listening ears. + + III. III. + Long silent since, save when, in Long silent since, save when on + KEPPEL’s name, t’other side, + Detraction, murd’ring BRITAIN’s naval In KEPPEL’s praise to little purpose + fame, tried, + Rous’d into sounds of scorn th’ I rous’d to well-feign’d scorn the + indignant string[4]. indignant string; + But now, replenish’d with a richer But now replete with a more hopeful + theme, theme, + The vase of harmony shall pour its The o’erflowing ink-bottle shall pour + stream, its stream, + Fann’d by free Fancy’s Through quills by Dullness pluck’d + rainbow-tinctur’d wing. from gosling’s downy wing. + Thy country too shall hail the St. JAMES’s too shall hail the + song, song, + Her echoing heart the notes Her echoing walls the notes + prolong; prolong, + While they alone with [5]envy Whilst they alone with sorrow + sigh, sigh. + Whose rancour to thy parent dead Whose reverence for thy parent + dead, + Aim’d, ere his funeral rites were Now bids them hang their drooping + paid, head, + With vain vindictive rage to starve And weep, to mark the conduct of his + his progeny. progeny. + + IV. IV. + From earth and these the muse averts From these the courtly muse averts her + her view, eye. + To meet in yonder sea of ether blue To meet with genuine unaffected joy + A beam to which the blaze of noon is A scene that passes in the Closet’s + pale: gloom; + In purpling circles now the glory In whitening circles the dim glory + spreads, spreads, + A host of angels now unveil their Bedchamber Lords unveil their powder’d + heads, heads, + While heav’n’s own music triumphs on And Tory triumphs sound throughout + the gale. the room: + Ah see, two white-rob’d seraphs Ah! see two Jannisaries lead + lead + Thy father’s venerable shade; Illustrious BUTE’s thrice-honour’d + shade; + He bends from yonder cloud of Behind yon curtain did he stand, + gold, + While they, the ministers of Whilst they (which Whigs with + light, horror mark) + Bear from his breast a mantle Bear from his cloak a lantern + bright, dark, + And with the heav’n-wove robe thy And trust the hallow’d engine to thy + youthful limbs enfold. youthful hand. + + V. V. + “Receive this mystic gift, my son!” he “Receive this mystic gift, brave boy,” + cries, he cries, + “And, for so wills the Sovereign of “And if so please the Sovereign of the + the skies, skies, + With this receive, at ALBION’s With this receive at GEORGE’s + anxious hour, anxious hour, + A double portion of my patriot zeal, A double portion of my Tory zeal, + Active to spread the fire it dar’d to Active to spread the fire it dared to + feel feel, + Thro’ raptur’d senates, and with Through venal senates, and with + awful power boundless pow’r, + From the full fountain of the tongue From the full fountain of the + tongue, + To call the rapid tide along To roll a tide of words along, + Till a whole nation caught the Till a whole nation is deceived. + flame. + So on thy sire shall heav’n bestow, So shall thy early labours gain + A blessing TULLY fail’d to know, A blessing BUTE could ne’er attain; + And redolent in thee diffuse thy In fact, a Courtier be, yet Patriot be + father’s fame. believed. + + VI. VI. + “Nor thou, ingenuous boy! that Fame “Nor thou, presumptuous imp, that fame + despise disown, + Which lives and spreads abroad in Which draws its splendor from a + Heav’n’s pure eyes, monarch’s throne, + The last best energy of noble Sole energy of many a lordly mind, + mind[6]; + Revere thy father’s shade; like him Revere the shade of BUTE, subservient + disdain still + The tame, the timid, temporizing To the high dictates of the Royal + train, will; + Awake to self, to social interest Awake to self, to social interest + blind: blind. + Young as thou art, occasion calls, Young as thou art, occasion calls, + Thy country’s scale or mounts or Prerogative or mounts or falls + falls + As thou and thy compatriots As thou and thy compatriots[7] + strive; strive, + Scarce is the fatal moment past Scarce in the fatal moment past + That trembling ALBION deem’d her Which Secret Influence deem’d her + last, last, + O knit the union firm, and bid an Oh! save the expiring fiend, and bid + empire live. her empire live! + + VII. VII. + “Proceed, and vindicate fair Freedom’s “Proceed!--Uphold Prerogative’s high + claim, claim, + Give life, give strength, give Give life, give strength, give + substance to her name; substance to her name! + The native rights of man with Fraud The rights divine of Kings with + contest. Whigs contest; + Yes, snatch them from Corruption’s Save them from Freedom’s bold + baleful power, incroaching hand, + Who dares, in Day’s broad eye, those Who dares, in Day’s broad eye, those + rights devour, rights withstand, + While prelates bow, and bless the And be by Bishops thy endeavours + harpy feast. bless’d!” + If foil’d at first, resume thy If foil’d at first, resume thy + course, course, + Rise strengthen’d with ANTÆAN Whilst I, though writing worse and + force, worse, + So shall thy toil in conquest Thy glorious efforts will + end. record; + Let others court the tinsel things Let others seek by other ways, + That hang upon the smile of kings, The public’s unavailing praise, + Be thine the muse’s wreath; be thou Be mine the BUTT OF SACK--be thou the + _the people’s friend_.” TREASURY’S LORD! + + +[1] This expression is taken from Milton’s song on May Morning, +to which this stanza in general alludes, and the 4th verse in +the next. + +[2] Improved from Milton. + +[3] The poem of Curactacus was read in Ms. by the late Earl of +Chatham, who honoured it with an approbation which the author +is here proud to record. + +[4] See Ode to the Naval Officers of Great Britain, written 1779. + +[5] See the motto from Pindar. + +[6] in allusion to a fine and well-known passage in MILTON’s Lycidas. + +[7] Messrs. JENKINSON, ROBINSON, DUNDAS, &c. &c. + + + + +THE STATESMEN: + +AN ECLOGUE. + +LANSDOWNE. + While on the Treasury-Bench you, PITT, recline, + And make men wonder at each vast design; + I, hapless man, my harsher fate deplore, + Ordain’d to view the regal face no more; + That face which erst on me with rapture glow’d, 5 + And smiles responsive to my smiles bestow’d: + But now the Court I leave, my native home, + “A banish’d man, condemn’d in woods to roam;” + While you to senates, BRUNSWICK’s mandates give, + And teach white-wands to chaunt his high prerogative. 10 + +PITT. + Oh! LANSDOWNE, ’twas a more than mortal pow’r + My fate controul’d, in that auspicious hour, + When TEMPLE deign’d the dread decree to bring, + And stammer’d out the _Firmaun_ of the King: + That power I’ll worship as my houshold god, 15 + Shrink at his frown, and bow beneath his nod; + At every feast his presence I’ll invoke, + For him my kitchen fires shall ever smoke; + Not mighty HASTINGS, whose illustrious breath + Can bid a RAJAH live, or give him death, 20 + Though back’d by SCOTT, by BARWELL, PALK, and all + The sable squadron scowling from BENGAL; + Not the bold Chieftain of the tribe of PHIPPS, + Whose head is scarce less handsome than his ship’s; + Not bare-breech’d GRAHAM, nor bare-witted ROSE, 25 + Nor the GREAT LAWYER with the LITTLE NOSE; + Not even VILLIERS’ self shall welcome be, + To dine so oft, or dine so well as he. + +LANSDOWNE. + Think not these sighs denote one thought unkind, + Wonder, not Envy, occupies my mind; 30 + For well I wot on that unhappy day, + When BRITAIN mourn’d an empire giv’n away; + When rude impeachments menaced from afar, + And what gave peace to FRANCE--to us was war; + For awful vengeance Heav’n appeared to call, 35 + And agonizing Nature mark’d our fall. + Dire change! DUNDAS’s cheek with blushes glow’d, + GRENVILLE was dumb, MAHON no phrenzy show’d; + Though DRAKE harrangu’d, no slumber GILBERT fear’d, + And MULGRAVE’s mouth like other mouths appear’d; 40 + In vain had BELLAMY prepar’d the meat; + In vain the porter; BAMBER could not eat; + When BURKE arose no yell the curs began, + And ROLLE, for once, half seem’d a gentleman: + Then name this god, for to St. JAMES’s Court, 45 + Nor gods nor angels often make resort. + +PITT. + In early youth misled by Honour’s rules, + That fancied Deity of dreaming fools; + I simply thought, forgive the rash mistake, + That Kings should govern tor their People’s sake: 50 + But Reverend JENKY soon these thoughts supprest, + And drove the glittering phantom from my breast; + JENKY! that sage, whom mighty George declares, + Next SCHWELLENBURGEN, great on the back stairs: + ’Twas JENKINSON--ye Deacons, catch the sound! 55 + Ye Treasury scribes, the sacred name rebound! + Ye pages, sing it--echo it, ye Peers! + And ye who best repeat, Right Reverend Seers! + Whose pious tongues no wavering fancies sway, + But like the needle ever point one way. 60 + +LANSDOWNE. + Thrice happy youth! secure from every change, + Thy beasts unnumber’d, ’mid the Commons range; + Whilst thou, by JOVE’s ætherial spirit fired, + Or by sweet BRUNSWICK’s sweeter breath inspired, + Another ORPHEUS every bosom chear, 65 + And sticks, and stocks, and stones, roar _hear! hear! hear!_ + Raised by thy pipe the savage tribes advance, + And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance: + For me no cattle now my steps attend, + Ev’n PRICE and PRIESTLY, wearied, scorn their friend; 70 + And these twin sharers of my festive board, + Hope of my flock, now seek some richer Lord. + +PITT. + Sooner shall EFFINGHAM clean linen wear, + Or MORNINGTON without his star appear; + Sooner each prisoner BULLER’s law escape; 75 + Sooner shall QUEENSBURY commit a rape; + Sooner shall POWNEY, HOWARD’s noddle reach; + Sooner shall THURLOW hear his brother preach; + Sooner with VESTRIS, Bootle shall contend; + Sooner shall EDEN not betray his friend; 80 + Sooner DUNDAS an Indian bribe decline; + Sooner shall I my chastity resign; + Sooner shall Rose than PRETTYMAN lie faster, + Than PITT forget that JENKINSON’s his maker. + +LANSDOWNE. + Yet oft in times of yore I’ve seen thee stand 85 + Like a tall May-pole ’mid the patriot band; + While with reforms you tried each baneful art, + To wring fresh sorrows from your Sovereign’s heart; + That heart, where every virtuous thought is known, + But modestly locks up and keeps them all his own. 90 + +PITT. + ’Twas then that PITT, for youth such warmth allows, + To wanton Freedom paid his amorous vows; + Lull’d by her smiles, each offer I withstood, + And thought the greatest bliss my country’s good. + ’Twas pride, not passion, madden’d in my brain, 95 + I wish’d to rival FOX, but wish’d in vain; + Fox, the dear object of bright Freedom’s care, + Fox still the favourite of the BRITISH fair; + But while with wanton arts the syren strove + To fix my heart, and wile me to her love; 100 + Too soon I found my hasty choice to blame, + --Freedom and Poverty are still the same-- + While piles of massy gold his coffers fill, + Who votes subservient to his Sovereign’s will. + +LANSDOWNE. + Enough, break off--on RICHMOND I must wait; 105 + And DEBBIEG too will think I stay too late; + Yet ere I go some friendly aid I’d prove, + The last sad tribute of a master’s love. + In that famed College where true wisdom’s found, + For MACHIAVELIAN policy renown’d, 110 + The pious pastors first fill’d LANSDOWNE’s mind, + With all the lore for Ministers design’d: + Then mark my words, and soon those Seers shall see + Their famed IGNATIUS far outdone in thee;-- + In every action of your life be shown, 115 + You think the world was made for you alone; + With cautious eye each character survey, + Woo to deceive, and promise to betray; + Let no rash passion Caution’s bounds destroy, + And ah! no more appear “THE ANGRY BOY!” 120 + +PITT. + Yet stay--Behold the Heav’ns begin to lour, + And HOLLAND threatens with a thunder show’r; + With me partake the feast, on this green box, + Full fraught with many a feast for factious Fox; + Each sapient hint that pious PRETTY gleans, 125 + And the huge bulk of ROSE’s Ways and Means; + See too the smoaky citizens approach, + Piled with petitions view their Lord Mayor’s coach; + Ev’n now their lengthen’d shadows reach this floor, + Oh! that d--n’d SHOP-TAX--AUBREY, shut the door! 130 + + +THE STATESMEN.] It will be unnecessary to inform the classical +reader, that this Eclogue evidently commences as an imitation +of the 1st. of Vergil--the Author, however, with a boldness +perfectly characteristic of the personages he was to represent, +has in the progress of his work carefully avoided every thing +like a too close adherence to his original design. + +Line 8.--_A banish’d man_, &c.] Vide the noble Marquis’s celebrated +speech, on the no less celebrated IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +Line 14.--_And stammer’d out the_ FIRMAUN, &c.] When a language +happens to be deficient in a word to express a particular idea, +it has been ever customary to borrow one from some good-natured +neighbour, who may happen to be more liberally furnished. Our Author, +unfortunately, could find no nation nearer than TURKEY, that was +able to supply him with an expression perfectly apposite to the +sentiment intended to be here conveyed. + +Line 25.--_Not bare-breeche’d_ GRAHAM.] His Lordship some time since +brought in a bill to relieve his countrymen from those habilliments +which in ENGLAND are deemed a necessary appendage to decorum, but +among our more northern brethren are considered as a degrading +shackle upon natural liberty. Perhaps, as the noble Lord was then +on the point of marriage, he might intend this offering of his +_opima spolia_, as an elegant compliment to HYMEN. + +Line 51.--_But Reverend_ JENKY.] Our Author here, in some measure +deviating from his usual perspicuity, has left us in doubt whether +the term _Reverend_ is applied to the years or to the profession +of the gentleman intended to be complimented. His long experience +in the secrets of the CRITICAL REVIEW, and BUCKINGHAM HOUSE, would +well justify the former supposition; yet his early admission into +DEACON’S ORDERS will equally support the latter: our readers +therefore must decide, while we can only sincerely exult in his +Majesty’s enjoyment of a man whose whole pious life has been spent +in sustaining that beautiful and pathetic injunction of scripture, +“SERVE GOD, AND HONOUR THE KING.” + +Line 68.--_And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance_.] The beautiful +allusion here made to that glorious state of doubt and obscurity +in which our youthful Minister’s measures have been invariably +involved, with its consequent operation on the stockholders, is +here most fortunately introduced.--What a striking contrast does +Mr. PITT’s conduct, in this particular, form to that of the Duke +of PORTLAND, Mr. Fox, and your other _plain matter of fact men!_ + +Line 83.--_Sooner shall_ ROSE _than_ PRETTYMAN _lie faster_.] This +beautiful compliment to the happy art of embellishment, so wonderfully +possessed by this _par nobile fratrum_, merits our warmest applause; +and the skill of our author no where appears more conspicious than +in this line, where, in refusing to give to either the pre-eminence, +he bestows the _ne plus ultra_ of excellence on both. + + + + +RONDEAU. + +HUMBLY INSCRIBED + +_To the_ RIGHT HON. WILLIAM EDEN, ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY _and_ MINISTER +PLENIPOTENTIARY _of Commercial Affairs at the Court of_ VERSAILLES. + + + Of EDEN lost, in ancient days, + If we believe what MOSES says, + A paltry pippin was the price, + One crab was bribe enough to entice + Frail human kind from Virtue’s ways. + + But now, when PITT, the all-perfect, sways, + No such vain lures the tempter lays, + Too poor to be the purchase twice, + Of EDEN lost. + + The Dev’l grown wiser, to the gaze + Six thousand pounds a year displays, + And finds success from the device; + Finds this fair fruit too well suffice + To pay the peace, and honest praise, + Of EDEN lost. + + +ANOTHER. + + “A mere affair of trade to embrace, + Wines, brandies, gloves, fans, cambricks, lace; + For this on me my Sovereign laid + His high commands, and I obeyed; + Nor think, my lord, this conduct base. + + “Party were guilt in such a case, + When thus my country, for a space, + Calls my poor skill to DORSET’s aid + A mere affair of trade!” + + Thus EDEN, with unblushing face, + To NORTH would palliate his disgrace; + When NORTH, with smiles, this answer made: + “You might have spared what you have said; + I thought the business of your place + A mere affair of trade!” + + +ANOTHER. + + Around the tree, so fair, so green, + Erewhile, when summer shone serene, + Lo! where the leaves in many a ring, + Before the wint’ry tempest wing, + Fly scattered o’er the dreary scene: + + Such, NORTH, thy friends. Now cold and keen + Thy Winter blows; no shelt’ring skreen + They stretch, no graceful shade they fling + Around the tree. + + Yet grant, just Fate, each wretch so mean, + Like EDEN, pining in his spleen + For posts, for stars, for strings, may swing + On two stout posts in hempen string! + Few eyes would drop a tear, I ween, + Around the tree. + + +ANOTHER. + + “The JORDAN have you been to see?” + Cried FOX, when late with shuffling plea, + Poor EDEN stammer’d at excuse, + But why the JORDAN introduce? + What JORDAN too will here agree? + + That JORDAN which from spot could free + One man unclean here vain would be: + If yet those powers of wond’rous use + The JORDAN have! + + One fitter JORDAN of the three + Would I for EDEN’s meed decree; + With me then open every sluice, + And foaming high with streams profuse, + For EDENS head may all with me + The JORDAN have! + + +ANOTHER. + + For EDEN’s place, where circling round + EUPHRATES wash’d the hallow’d mound, + The learned long in vain have sought; + ’Twas GREECE, ’twas POLAND, some have taught; + Some hold it in the deluge drown’d: + PITT thinks his search at PARIS crown’d; + See the Gazette his proofs expound! + Yet who of looking there had thought + For EDEN’s place! + + No;--view yon frame with dirt embrown’d, + Some six feet rais’d above the ground, + Where rogues, exalted as they ought, + To peep through three round holes are brought, + There will the genuine spot be found + For EDEN’s place! + + + + +EPIGRAMS + +_On the_ IMMACULATE BOY + + That Master PITT seems + To be fond of extremes, + No longer is thought any riddle; + For sure we may say, + ’Tis as plain as the day, + That he always kept clear of the middle. + + +ANOTHER. + + ’Tis true, indeed, we oft abuse him, + Because he bends to no man; + But Slander’s self dares not accuse him + Of stiffness to a woman. + + +ANOTHER. + + “No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that,” quoth PITT, “I’ll die;” + Cries WILBERFORCE, “If not till then, + By G--d you must outlive all men[1].” + + +ANOTHER[2]. + + On _fair and equal_ terms to place + An union is thy care; + But trust me, POWIS, in this case + The _equal_ should not please his Grace, + And PITT dislikes the _fair_. + + +ANOTHER. + + The virulent fair, + Protest and declare, + This Ministry’s not to their hearts; + For say what they will, + To them Master BILL + Has never discover’d his parts. + + +ANOTHER. + + ----_Ex nihilo nil fit._ + + When PITT exclaim’d, “By measures I’ll be tried,” + That false appeal all woman-kind denied. + + +ANOTHER. + + Incautious Fox will oft repose + In fair one’s bosom thoughts of worth; + But PITT his secrets keeps so close, + No female arts can draw them forth. + + +ANOTHER. + + Had PITT to his advice inclined, + SIR CECIL had undone us; + But he, a friend to womankind, + Would nothing lay upon us. + ANCILLA. + + +ANOTHER. + + _On_ Mr. PITT’s _Prudence_. + + Though PITT have to women told some things, no doubt; + Yet his private affairs they have never found out. + + +ANOTHER. + + Who dares assert that virtuous PITT + Partakes in female pleasures; + For know there ne’er was woman yet + Could e’er endure half measures. + + +ANOTHER. + +_Puer loquitur._ + + Though big with mathematic pride, + By me this axiom is denied; + I can’t conceive, upon my soul, + My parts are equal to the _whole_. + + +[1] “No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that,” quoth PITT, “I’ll die; + Behind the elms last night,” quoth DICK, + “Rose, were you not extremely sick?” PRIOR. + +[2] A coalition between the DUKE OF PORTLAND and Mr. PITT, was +attempted to be formed by Mr. POWIS, and the other Country +Gentlemen.--This endeavour, however, was defeated in consequence of +Mr. PITT’s construction of the terms _fair and equal_. + + + + +THE DELAVALIAD. + +Why, says an indignant poet, should Mr. ROLLE alone, of all the +geniuses that distinguish the present period, be thought the only +person of worth or talents enough to give birth and name to an +immortal effusion of divine poesy? He questions not that great +man’s pretensions; far from it; he reveres his ancestors, adores +his talents, and feels something hardly short of idolatry towards +his manners and accomplishments.--But still, why such profusion +of distinction towards one, to the exclusion of many other high +characters? Our Poet professes to feel this injustice extremely, +and has made the following attempt to rescue one deserving man from +so unmerited an obloquy. The reader will perceive the measure to +be an imitation of that which has been so deservedly admired in +our immortal bard, in his play of “_As You Like It._” + + From the East to the Western Inde + No Jewel is like Rosalind; + Her worth being mounted on the wind, + Thro’ all the world bears Rosalind, &c. &c. + +This kind of verse is adopted by the poet to avoid any appearance +of too servile an imitation of the ROLLIAD. He begins, + + Ye patriots all, both great and small, + Resign the palm to DELAVAL; + The virtues would’st thou practise all, + So in a month did DELAVAL. + A _patriot_ first both stout and tall, + Firm for the day was DELAVAL. + The friend to court, where frowns appal, + The next became good DELAVAL.-- + Wilt thou against oppression bawl? + Just so did valiant DELAVAL! + Yet in a month, thyself enthral, + So did the yielding DELAVAL: + Yet give to both, a dangerous fall, + So did reflecting DELAVAL. + If resignation’s good in all, + Why so it is in DELAVAL: + For if you p--- against a wall, + Just so you may ’gainst DELAVAL: + And if with foot you kick a ball, + E’en so you may--a DELAVAL. + ’Gainst _influence_ would’st thou vent thy gall, + Thus did the patriot DELAVAL: + Yet servile stoop to Royal call, + So did the loyal DELAVAL. + What friend to Freedom’s fair-built Hall, + Was louder heard than DELAVAL? + Yet who the _Commons_ rights to maul, + More stout was found than DELAVAL? + --’Gainst Lords and Lordlings would’st thou brawl, + Just so did he--SIR DELAVAL: + Yet on thy knees, to honours crawl, + Oh! so did he--LORD DELAVAL. + An evil sprite possessed SAUL, + And so it once did DELAVAL. + Music did soon the sense recal, + Of ISRAEL’s King, and DELAVAL, + SAUL rose at DAVID’s vile cat-call. + --Not so the wiser DELAVAL: + ’Twas money’s sweetest _sol, la fal_, + That chear’d the sense of DELAVAL-- + When royal power shall instal, + With honours new LORD DELAVAL; + Who won’t say--the _miraculous_ hawl + Is caught by faithful DELAVAL? + ’Gainst rapine would’st thou preach like Paul, + Thus did religious DELAVAL: + Yet screen the scourges of Bengal, + Thus did benignant DELAVAL. + To future times recorded shall + Be all the worths of DELAVAL: + E’en OSSIAN, or the great FINGAL, + Shall yield the wreath to DELAVAL. + From Prince’s court to cobler’s stall, + Shall sound the name of DELAVAL: + For neither sceptre nor the awl, + Are strong and keen as DELAVAL.-- + Some better praise, than this poor scrawl, + Shall sing the fame of DELAVAL: + For sure no song can ever pall, + That celebrates great DELAVAL: + Borne on all fours, the fame shall sprawl. + To latest time--of DELAVAL: + Then come, ye Nine, in one great squall, + Proclaim the worths of DELAVAL. + +[_The annotations of the learned are expected._] + + + + +THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT GEORGE[1] BUILT. + +Lord NUGENT.--This is the RAT, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. FOX.--This is the CAT, that killed the Rat, that eat the +Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +PEPPER ARDEN.--This is the DOG, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Lord THURLOW.--This is the BULL with the crumpled horn, that +roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, +that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +Mr. PITT.--This is the MAIDEN[2] all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. DUNDAS.--This is the SCOT by all forsworn, that wedded[3] +the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled +horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Mr. WILKES.--This is the PATRIOT covered with scorn, that flattered +the Scot by all forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, +that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with +the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat +the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +CONSCIENCE.--This is the COCK that crowed in the morn, that waked +the Patriot covered with scorn, that flattered the Scot by all +forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + + +[1] George Nugent Grenville, Marquis of Buckingham. + +[2] The immaculate continence of the BRITISH SCIPIO, so strongly +insisted on by his friends, as constituting one of the most shining +ingredients of his own uncommon character, is only alluded to here +as a received fact, and not by any means as a reproach. + +[3] _Wedded_. This Gentleman’s own term for a Coalition. + + + + +EPIGRAMS, + +_By_ SIR CECIL WRAY. + +First published in the Gentleman’s Magazine, under the signatures +of DAMON, PHILOMELA, NOLENS VOLENS, and CRITANDER. + + +_To_ CELIA (_now Lady_ WRAY), _on Powdering her Hair._ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don’t never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + +_To Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing a Party to go a-fishing for White +Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing, + You’d come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + +_On seeing a Ladybird fly off_ CELIA’_s Neck, after having perched +on it for many minutes._ + + I thought (God bless my soul!) + Yon ladybird her mole-- + I thought--but devil take the thing, + It proved my error--took to wing-- + +_A Thought on_ NEW MILK. + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar--soft as silk! + +_Familiar Verses, addressed to two Young Gentlemen at the_ Hounslow +Academy. + + Take notice, roguelings, I prohibit + Your walking underneath yon gibbet: + Have you not heard, my little ones, + Of _Raw Head and Bloody Bones?_ + How do you know, but that there fellow, + May step down quick, and you up swallow? + +EXTEMPORE. + +_To_ DELIA, _on seeing_ TWO CATS _playing together._ + + See, DELY, DELY, charming fair, + How Pusseys play upon that chair; + Then, DELY, change thy name to WRAY, + And thou and I will likewise play. + +_On a_ BLADE-BONE. + + Says I, one day, unto my wife, + I never saw in all my life + Such a blade-bone. Why so, my dear? + Says she. The matter’s very clear, + Says I; for on it there’s no meat, + For any body for to eat. + Indeed, my dear, says she, ’tis true, } + But wonder not, for, you know, you } + Can’t eat your cake and have it too. } + +_An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my coals by pecks, that we + May have them fresh and fresh, d’ye see. + +_To my very learned and facetious friend_, S. ESTWICK, ESQ. +M.P. _and_ LL.D. _on his saying to me_, “What the D---l +noise was that?” + + Good Dr. ESTWICK, you do seek + To know what makes my shoe-soles creak? + They make a noise when they are dry; + And so do you, and so do I. + C. W. + + + + +LORD GRAHAM’S DIARY, + +DURING THE FIRST WEEK OF THE NEW PARLIAMENT. + +_May_ 20. Went down to the House--sworn in--odd faces--asked PEARSON +who the new people were--he seemed cross at my asking him, and did +not know--I took occasion to inspect the water-closets. + +N.B. To tell ROSE, that I found three cocks out of repair--didn’t +know what to do--left my name at the DUKE OF QUEENSBERRY’s--dined +at WHITE’s--the pease tough--Lord APSLEY thought they ought to be +boiled in steam--VILLIERS very _warm_ in favour of _hot water_--PITT +for the new mode--and much talk of _taking the sense_ of the +_club_--but happily I prevented matters going to extremity. + +_May_ 21. Bought a tooth-pick-case, and attended at the +Treasury-Board--nothing at the House but swearing--rode to +WILBERFORCE’s at WIMBLEDON--PITT, THURLOW, and DUNDAS, +_water-sucky_--we all wondered why perch have such large mouths, and +WILBERFORCE said they were like MULGRAVE’s--red champagne rather +ropy--away at eight--THURLOW’s horse started at a windmill--he off. + +N.B. To bring in an Act to encourage water-mills--THURLOW home in +a _dilly_--we after his horse--children crying, _Fox for +ever!_--DUNDAS stretching to whip them--he off too. + +_May_ 22. Sick all day--lay a bed--VILLIERS _bored_ me. + +23. Hyde-park--PITT--HAMILTON, &c. Most of us agreed it was right to +bow to Lord DELAVAL--PITT won’t to any one, except the _new +Peers_--dined at PITT’s--PITT’s soup never salt enough--Why must +PRETTYMAN dine with us?--PITT says to-day he will _not_ support Sir +CECIL WRAY--THURLOW wanted to give the _old toast_--PITT +grave--probably this is the reason for letting PRETTYMAN stay. + +24. House--Westminster Election--we settled to always make a noise +when BURKE gets up--we ballotted among ourselves for a _sleeping +Committee_ in the Gallery----STEELE always to call us when PITT +speaks--Lord DELAVAL our _dear_ friend!--_Private_ message from ST. +JAMES’s to PITT--He at last agrees to support SIR CECIL. + +_May_ 25. BANKES won’t vote with us against GRENVILLE’s Bill--English +obstinacy--the Duke of RICHMOND teazes us--nonsense about +consistency--what right has _he_ to talk of _it?_--but must not say +so.--DUNDAS thinks worse of the Westminster business than--but too +hearty to indulge absurd scruples. + +26. Court--King in high spirits, and attentive rather to the Duke of +GRAFTON--QUEEN more so to Lord CAMDEN--puzzles us all!--So it is +possible the Duke of RICHMOND will consent to leave the +_Cabinet_?--Dinner at DUNDAS’s--too many things aukwardly served--Joke +about ROSE’s thick legs, like ROBINSON’s, in flannel. + + + + +EXTRACTS + +FROM THE SECOND VOLUME OF LORD MULGRAVE’S ESSAYS ON ELOQUENCE, LATELY +PUBLISHED. + +“We now come to speak of _Tropes_. Trope comes from the Greek word +_Trepo_, to turn. I believe that tropes can only exist in a vocal +language, for I do not recollect to have met with any among the +savages near the Pole, who converse only by signs; or if they used +any, I did not understand them. Aristotle is of opinion that horses +have not the use of tropes.--Dean Swift seems to be of a contrary +opinion; but be this as it may, tropes are of very great importance +in Parliament, and I cannot enough recommend them to my young readers. + +“_Tropes_ are of two kinds: 1st, such as tend to illustrate our +meaning; and 2dly, such as tend to render it obscure. The first are of +great use in the _sermo pedestris_; the second in the sublime. They +give the _os magna sonans_; or, as the same poet says in another +place, the _ore rotundo_; an expression, which shows, by the bye, that +it is as necessary to round your mouth, as to round your periods.--But +of this more hereafter, when I come to treat of _mouthing_, or, as the +Latins call it, _elocutio_. + +“In the course of my reflections on tropes, I have frequently lamented +the want of these embellishments in our modern _log-books_. Strabo +says they were frequently employed by the ancient sailors; nor can we +wonder at this difference, since our young seamen are such bad +scholars: not so in other countries; for I have seen children at the +island of _Zanti_, who knew more of Greek than any First Lieutenant. +Now to return to Tropes, and of their use in Parliament. I will give +you some examples of the most perfect kind in each species, and then +quit the subject; only observing, that the worst kind of tropes are +_puns_; and that tropes, when used in controversy, ought to be very +obscure; for many people do not know how to answer what they do not +understand. + +“Suppose I was desirous of pressing forward any measure, and that I +apprehended that the opposite party wished to delay it, I should +personify procrastination by one of the following manners: + +1. “_This measure appears to be filtered through the drip-stone of +procrastination._” This beautiful phrase was invented by a near +relation of mine, whose talents bid fair to make a most distinguished +figure in the senate. + +2. “_This is another dish cooked up by the procrastinating spirit._” +The boldness of this figure, which was invented by Mr. Drake, cannot +be too much admired. + +3. “_This appears to be the last hair in the tail of +procrastination._” + +“The _Master of the Rolls_, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker; but I think the two former instances much more +beautiful, inasmuch as the latter personification is drawn from a +dumb creature, which is not so fine a source of metaphor as a +Christian. + +“Having thus exhausted the subject of metaphors, I shall say a few +words concerning _similes_, the second of tropical figures, in point +of importance.” + + + + +ANECDOTES OF MR. PITT. + + +As nothing which relates to this great man can be indifferent to +the public, we are happy in laying before our readers the following +particulars, the truth of which may be depended on:-- + +MR. PITT rises about _Nine_, when the weather is clear; but if it +should rain, Dr. PRETTYMAN advises him to lay about an hour longer. +The first thing he _does_ is to eat _no_ breakfast, that he may have +a better appetite for his dinner. About _ten_ he generally blows his +nose and cuts his toe-nails; and while he takes the exercise of his +_bidet_, Dr. PRETTYMAN reads to him the different petitions and +memorials that have been presented to him. About _eleven_ his valet +brings in Mr. ATKINSON and a WARM SHIRT, and they talk over the _New +Scrip_, and other matters of finance. Mr. ATKINSON has said to _his_ +confidential friends round ’Change, that Mr. PITT always speaks to him +with great affability. At _twelve_ Mr. PITT retires to a water-closet, +adjoining to which is a small cabinet, from whence Mr. JENKINSON +confers with him on the secret instructions from BUCKINGHAM-HOUSE. +After this, Mr. PITT takes a long lesson of dancing; and Mr. GALLINI +says, that if he did not turn in his toes, and hold down his head, +he would be a very good dancer. At _two_ Mr. WILBERFORCE comes in, +and they both play with Mr. PITT’s black dog, whom they are very +fond of, because he is like Lord MULGRAVE in the face, and barks out +of time to the organs that pass in the street. After this Mr. PITT +rides. We are credibly informed, that he often pats his horse; and, +indeed, he is remarkably fond of all _dumb creatures_ both in and out +of Parliament. At _four_ he sleeps.--Mr. PITT eats very heartily, +drinks one bottle of port, and two when he _speaks_; so that we may +hope that Great Britain will long be blessed with the superintendance +of this virtuous and able young Minister!!! + + + + +LETTER FROM A NEW MEMBER TO HIS FRIEND IN THE COUNTRY. + + +MY DEAR SIR, + +As you are so anxious and inquisitive to know the principal +circumstances that have occurred to my observation, since my +introduction to the House of Commons, I think it my duty to give +you what satisfaction I am able. As you know, my dear friend, +how little I dreamt of being called out of my humble sphere of life, +to the rank of a senator (and still less at a time when so many +considerable gentlemen of education, worth, and property had been +driven from their seats in Parliament), you will not wonder that it +required some time before I could rid myself of the awe and +embarrassment that I felt on first entering the walls of that +august assembly. Figure to yourself, my good Sir, how very aukward +and distressing it was to me to reflect, that I was now become +a member of the British Senate; picked and culled out, as our +inimitable Premier assured us, by the free, unbiassed voice of +the people, for our singular abilities and love of our country, +to represent the wisdom of the nation at the present critical +juncture. Would to God I possessed a pen that might enable me to +celebrate, in a style equal to his merits, the praises of this prodigy +of a Minister, whom I can never speak or think of without enthusiasm! +Oh! had you but heard his speech on the day of our meeting, when he +addressed himself to the young members in a strain of eloquence +that could not fail to make a lasting impression on our minds! +Not one of us, I assure you, who did not feel the warmest emotions +of respect and gratitude, and begin to entertain a confidence in his +own talents for business, and a consciousness of his zeal for +the public service, that would probably have never entered into +the head of a simple individual, if this excellent young man had +not condescended to point out to us those qualities in such strong +and flattering colours. + +Such extraordinary marks of condescension surprized me not a little, +from a person whom I had been used to hear so generally (but no doubt +most falsely) censured, for upstart pretension and overbearing +arrogance; and I could not sufficiently admire the candour he shewed, +in giving such perfect credit to the talents and virtues of so many +strangers, the greatest part of whose faces were even unknown to him. +Besides, the compliment appeared to me the more generous, as I had but +that very morning received a promise from Government to refund me +the heavy charges and trouble they had led me into at my late +election, which you very well know, notwithstanding the help of Mr. +ROBINSON, had very near ruined my affairs, and proved the destruction +of myself and family. + +As you desire to have my impartial sentiments respecting the eloquence +of Mr. PITT and Mr. FOX, I must fairly own, that I cannot hear, +without indignation, any comparison made between ’em;--and, +I assure you, Mr. PITT has a very decided preference in the opinion +of most of the new members, especially among us COUNTRY GENTLEMEN, +who, though we never heard any thing like public speaking before +in our lives, have too much sense and spirit to agree in this +particular with the generality of the public.--We could all see +Mr. PITT was an orator in a moment. The dignity of his deportment, +when he first rises from the Treasury Bench, with his head and +eyes erect, and arms extended, the regular poize of the same action +throughout the whole of his speech, the equal pitch of his voice, +which is full as sonorous and emphatic in expressions of the least +weight; above all, his words, which are his principal excellence, +and are really finer and longer than can be conceived, and clearly +prove him, in my judgment, to be far superior to every other orator. +Mr. FOX, it seems, in perfect despair of imitating the expression +and manner of his rival, never attempts to soar above a language +that is perfectly plain, obvious, and intelligible, to the meanest +understanding; whereas, I give you my word, I have more than once +met with several who have frankly owned to me, that Mr. PITT’s +eloquence was often above their capacity to comprehend. In addition +to this, it is observable, that Mr. PITT has the happy art of +expressing himself, even upon the most trifling occasion, in +at least three times as many words as any other person uses in +an argument of the utmost importance, which is so evident an advantage +over all his adversaries, that I wonder they persist to engage in +so unequal a combat. + +I shall take an early opportunity of communicating to you some +further observations on this subject: in the mean time believe me, + + Dear Sir, + With the truest regard, + Your’s, &c. &c. &c. +_Cocoa Tree, May_ 29, 1784. + + + + +THE +POLITICAL RECEIPT BOOK, +FOR THE YEAR 1784. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PREMIER. + +Take a man with a great quantity of that sort of words which produce +the greatest effect upon the _many_, and the least upon the _few_: +mix them with a large portion of affected candour and ingenuousness, +introduced in a haughty and contemptuous manner. Let there be a great +abundance of falsehood, concealed under an apparent disinterestedness +and integrity; and the two last to be the most professed when +the former is most practised. Let his engagements and declarations, +however solemnly made, be broken and disregarded, if he thinks he can +procure afterwards a popular indemnity for illegality and deceit. +He must subscribe to the doctrine of PASSIVE OBEDIENCE, and to +the exercise of patronage independent of his approbation; and be +careless of creating the most formidable enemies, if he can gratify +the personal revenge and hatred of those who employ him, even at +the expence of public ruin and general confusion. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF STATE. + +Take a man in a violent passion, or a man that never has been in one; +but the first is the best. Let him be concerned in making an +ignominious peace, the articles of which he could not comprehend, +and cannot explain. Let him speak loud, and yet never be heard; +and to be the kind of man for a SECRETARY OF STATE when nobody else +will accept it. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL. + +Take a man who all his life loved office, merely for its emolument; +and when measures which he had approved were eventually unfortunate, +let him be notorious for relinquishing his share of the responsibility +of them; and be stigmatized, for political courage in the period +of prosperity, and for cowardice when there exists but the appearance +of danger. + + +HOW TO MAKE A CHANCELLOR. + +Take a man of great abilities, with a heart as black as his +countenance. Let him possess a rough inflexibility, without +the least tincture of generosity or affection, and be as manly +as oaths and ill manners can make him. He should be a man who +will act politically with all parties, hating and deriding every +one of the individuals which compose them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A MASTER OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a man of a busy, meddling, turn of mind, with just as much parts +as will make him troublesome, but never respectable. Let him be +so perfectly callous to a sense of personal honour, and to the +distinction of public fame, as to be marked for the valour of +insulting where it cannot be revenged[1]; and, if a case should +arise, where he attempts to injure reputation, because it is dignified +and absent, he should possess _discretion_ enough to apologise and +to recant, if it is afterwards dictated to him to do so, +notwithstanding any previously-declared resolutions to the contrary. +Such a man will be found to be the most fit for servitude in times of +disgrace and degradation. + + +HOW TO MAKE A TREASURER OF THE NAVY. + +Take a man, composed of most of the ingredients necessary to enable +him to attack and defend the very same principles in politics, or +any party or parties concerned in them, at all times, and upon all +occasions. Mix with these ingredients a very large quantity of +the root of interest, so that the juice of it may be always sweet +and uppermost. Let him be one who avows a pride in being so necessary +an instrument for every political measure, as to be able to extort +those honours and emoluments from the weakness of a government, which +he had been deliberately refused, at a time when it would have been +honourable to have obtained them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A LORD OF THE TREASURY. + +Take the most stupid man you can find, but who can make his signature; +and from ignorance in _every thing_ will never contradict you in +_any thing_. He should not have a brother in the church, for if he +has, he will most probably abandon or betray you. Or, take a man of +fashion, with any sort of celebrity: if he has accustomed himself to +arguments, though the dullness can only be measured by the length of +them, he will serve to speak _against time_, with a certainty in that +case of never being answered. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. + +Take a pleading _Country Attorney_, without passion, and without +parts. Let him be one who will seize the first opportunity of +renouncing his connection with the first man who draws him out of +obscurity and serves him. If he has no affections or friendships, so +much the better; he will be more ready to contribute to his own +advantage. He should be of a temper so pliable, and a perseverance so +ineffectual, as to lead his master into troubles, difficulties, and +ruin, when he thinks he is labouring to overcome them. Let him be a +man, who has cunning enough, at the same time, to prey upon and +deceive frankness and confidence; and who, when he can no longer avail +himself of both, will sacrifice even his character in the cause of +treachery, and prefer the interests resulting from it, to the virtuous +distinctions of honour and gratitude. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY-AT-WAR. + +Take a man that will take any thing. Let him possess all the negative +virtues of being able to do no harm, but at the same time can do no +good; for they are qualifications of a courtly nature, and may in time +recommend him to a situation something worse, or something better. + + +HOW TO MAKE AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +Take a little ugly man, with an _eye_ to his preferment. It is not +requisite that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a +tolerable politician; but in order to qualify himself for an _English +Judge_, he should first be a _Welch_ one. He must have docility +sufficient to do any thing; and, if a period should arrive, when power +has popularity enough to make rules and laws for the evident purpose +of gratifying malignity, he should be one who should be ready to +advise or consent to the creation of new cases, and be able to defend +new remedies for them, though they militate against every principle +of reason, equity, and justice. + +N.B. The greatest part of this Receipt would make a MASTER OF THE +ROLLS. + + +HOW TO MAKE A WARDROBE-KEEPER, OR PRIVY-PURSE. + +Take the most supercilious fool in the nation, and let him be in +confidence in proportion to his ignorance. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SURVEYOR-GENERAL OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a Captain in the _Navy_, as being best acquainted with the +_Army_; he should have been a few years _at sea_, in order to qualify +him for the direction of works _on shore_; and let him be one who will +sacrifice his connections with as much ease as he would renounce +his profession. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PEER. + +Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with +one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. +Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage +to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take +the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly +let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it. + + +HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE. + +Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason +for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not +possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public +detestation. His pride and avarice should increase with his +prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and despise the natural +claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he +will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a +cabal, which has the courage to do mischief, and the cowardice of not +being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other +importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes +evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck +of public ruin. + +[1] “What care I for the King’s Birth-day!” + + + + +HINTS +FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER’S PORTER. + + +To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged +with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD +HOTHAM.--WILBE must have _two_ bows.--ATKINSON to be shewn into the +anti-chamber--he will find amusement in reading LAZARRELLO DE TORMEZ, +or the _complete Rogue_.--If Lord APSLEY and Mr. PERCIVAL come from +the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the room where the large +_looking-glasses_ are fixed--in that case they will not regret +waiting--Don’t let LORD MAHON be detained an instant at the door, the +pregnant young lady opposite having been sufficiently frightened +already!!!--JACK ROBINSON to be shewn into the study, as the private +papers were all removed this morning--Let Lord LONSDALE have _my +Lord_, and _your Lordship_, repeated to his ear as often as +possible--the apartment hung with _garter-blue_ is proper for his +reception!--The other new Peers to be greeted only plain _Sir!_ that +they may remember their late _ignobility_, and feel new gratitude to +the _benefactor of honours!_--You may, as if upon recollection, +address some of the last list, _My Lord!_--and ask their names--it +will be pleasing to them to sound out their own titles.--Lord ELIOT is +to be an exception, as he will tediously go through every degree of +his dignity in giving an answer.--All letters from BERKELEY-SQUARE +to be brought in without mentioning Lord SHELBURNE’s name, or even +Mr. ROSE’s.--The Treasury Messenger to carry the _red box_, as usual, +to CHARLES JENKINSON before it is sent to Buckingham-House.--Don’t +blunder a second time, and question Lord MOUNTMORRES as to the life +of a _hackney chairman_ - it is wrong to judge by appearances!--Lord +GRAHAM may be admitted to the library - he can’t read, and therefore +won’t derange the books. + + + + +A TALE. + + + At BROOKES’s once, it so fell out, + The box was push’d with glee about; + With mirth reciprocal inflam’d, + ’Twas said they rather play’d than gam’d; + A general impulse through them ran, + And seem’d t’ actuate every man: + But as all human pleasures tend + At some sad moment to an end, + The hour at last approach’d, when lo! + ’Twas time tor every one to go. + Now for the first time it was seen, + A certain sum unown’d had been; + To no man’s spot directly fixt, + But plac’d--ambiguously betwixt: + So doubtfully indeed it lay, + That none with confidence could say + This cash is mine--I’m certain on’t-- + But most declined with--“Sir, I won’t”-- + “I can’t in conscience urge a right, + To what I am not certain quite.” + --NORTHUMBRIA’S DUKE, who wish’d to put + An end to this polite dispute, + Whose generous nature yearn’d to see + The smallest seeds of enmity, + Arose and said--“this cash is mine-- } + For being ask’d to-day to dine, } + You see I’m furbelow’d and fine, } + With full-made sleeves and pendant lace; + Rely on’t, this was just the case, + That when by chance my arm I mov’d, + The money from me then I shov’d; + This clearly shews how it was shifted,” + Thus said, the rhino then he lifted;-- + “Hold, hold, my Lord,” says thoughtless HARE, + Who never made his purse his care; + A man who thought that money’s use + Was real comfort to produce, + And all the pleasures scorn’d to know + Which from its _snug_ enjoyments flow; + Such as still charm their gladden’d eyes, + Who feel the bliss of avarice. + “Hold, hold, my Lord, how is it known + This cash is certainly your own? + We each might urge as good a plea, + Or WYNDHAM, CRAUFURD, SMITH, or me; + But we, though less it were to blame, + Disdain’d so pitiful a claim; + Then here let me be arbitrator-- + I vote the money to the waiter,” + Thus oft will generous folly think: + But prudence parts not so with chink. + On this occasion so it was, + For gravely thus my Lord Duke says: + “Consider, Sir, how large the sum, + To full eight guineas it will come: + Shall I, for your quaint verbal play, + Consign a whole estate away? + Unjust, ridiculous, absurd, + I will not do it, on my word; + Yet rather than let fools deride, + I give my _fiat_ to divide; + So ’twixt the waiter and myself, + Place equal portions of the pelf; + Thus eighty shillings give to RALPH, + To ALNWICK’s DUKE the other half.” + HARE and the rest (unthinking croud!) + At this decision laugh’d aloud: + “Sneer if you like,” exclaim’d the Duke, + Then to himself his portion took; + And spite of all the witless rakes, + The Peer and Porter part the stakes. + + +MORALS. + + I. This maxim, then, ye spendthrifts know, + ’Tis money makes the mare to go. + + II. By no wise man be this forgot; + A penny sav’d’s a penny got. + + III. This rule keep ever in your head; + A half-loaf’s better than no bread. + + IV. Though some may rail, and others laugh, + In your own hand still keep the staff. + + V. Forget not, Sirs, since Fortune’s fickle, + Many a little makes a mickle. + + VI. By gay men’s counsels be not thwarted. + Fools and their money soon are parted. + + VII. Save, save, ye prudent--who can know + How soon the high may be quite low? + + VIII. Of Christian virtues hear the sum, + True charity begins at home. + + IX. Neglect not farthings, careless elves; + Shillings and pounds will guard themselves. + + X. Get cash with honour if you can, + But still to get it be your plan. + + + + +DIALOGUE +BETWEEN A CERTAIN PERSONAGE AND HIS MINISTER. + +IMITATED FROM THE NINTH ODE OF HORACE, BOOK III. + + _Donec gratus eram tibi._ + +K----- When heedless of your birth and name, + For pow’r yon barter’d future fame, + On that auspicious day, + Of K--gs I reign’d supremely blest: + Not HASTINGS rul’d the plunder’d East + With more despotic sway. + +P--TT. When only on my favoured head + Your smiles their royal influence shed, + Then was the son of CH--TH--M + The nation’s pride, the public care, + P--TT and Prerogative their pray’r, + While we, Sir, both laugh’d at ’em. + + +K----- JENKY, I own, divides my heart, + Skill’d in each deep and secret art + To keep my C--MM--NS down: + His views, his principles are mine; + For these I’d willingly resign + My Kingdom and my Crown. + +P--TT. As much as for the public weal, + My anxious bosom burns with zeal + For pious Parson WYV--LL + For him I’ll fret, and fume, and spout, + Go ev’ry length--except go out, + For that’s to me the Devil! + +K----- What if, our sinking cause to save, + We both our jealous strife should wave, + And act our former farce on: + If I to JENKY were more stern, + Would you, then, generously turn + Your back upon the Parson? + +P--TT. Tho’ to support his patriot plan + I’m pledg’d as _Minister_ and _Man_, + This storm I hope to weather; + And since your Royal will is so, + _Reforms_ and the _Reformers_ too, + May all be damn’d together! + + + + +Prettymaniana. + +EPIGRAMS ON THE REV. DR. PR--TT--MAN’S DUPLICITY. + + +I. + + That PRETTYMAN’s so pale, so spare, + No cause for wonder now affords; + He lives, alas! on empty fare, + Who lives by _eating his own ’words!_ + +II. + + In BAYES’s burlesque, though so strange it appear’d, + That PRINCE PRETTYMAN’s self should PRINCE PRETTYMAN _kill_; + _Our_ Prettyman FURTHER to go has not fear’d, + But in DAMNING himself, he extended his skill! + +III. + + Undaunted PITT, against the State to plot, + Should int’rest spur, or passion urge ye; + Dread not the hapless exit of LA MOTTE, + Secure in _Benefit of Clergy!_ + +IV. + + That against my fair fame + You devise so much blame, + Cries the Priest, with a damn me, what care I? + Since the gravest Divine, + Tells a lie worse than mine, + When he cries, “_Nolo Episcopari!_” + +V. + + How wisely PITT, for different ends, + Can marshal his obedient friends! + When only _time_ he wants, not sense, + MULGRAVE vents _copious impotence_. + If demi-falsehood must be tried, + By ROSE the quibbling task’s supply’d-- + But for the more accomplish’d lie, + Who with meek PR--TT--MAN shall vie? + +VI. +(PR--TT--MAN _loquitur_.) + + Although, indeed, ’tis truly said, + The various principles of _Trade_ + We are not very glib in; + Yet surely none will this deny, + Few know so well as PITT, or I, + To manufacture _fibbing_. + +VII. + + A horrible fib that a Priest should have told, + Seems to some people’s thinking excessively odd, + Yet sure there’s no maxim more certain or old, + Than “_The nearer the Church still the farther from God._” + +VIII. + + Why should such malice at the Parson fly? + For though he _spoke_, he scorn’d to write, a lye. + +IX. + + While the Wits and the Fools Parson PRETTY belabour, + With--“Thou shalt not false witness; set up ’gainst thy neighbour,” + The text and the fact (cries the Priest) disagree. + For in Downing-street _I_, in Great George-street lives _He_. + +X. + + What shall reward bold PRETTY’s well-tim’d sense, } + For turning new an IRISH _Evidence_? } + An IRISH _Bishoprick_’s the recompence! } + +XI. + + What varied fates the same offence assail! + PRETTY, install’d--and ATKINSON, in jail. + Both scorn alike the laws that truth maintains; + Yet one, a Prebend, one, a Prison gains. + This mounts a _stall_, the _pillory_ that ascends; + For public, one, and one for private ends. + The first gets ample scope _our_ ears to pain; + The other scarcely can _his own_ retain: + Just Heav’n, reverse the doom!--To punish each, + To ATKINSON alone, let PRETTY preach! + +XII. + + How happy, alas! had it been for poor PITT, + If WYVILL, like PRETTYMAN, never had writ! + +XIII. + + ------_Scelera ipsa nefasque + Hâc mercede placent_-------- + + Cries PRETTYMAN, “Consider, Sir, + My sacred cloth, and character.” + The indignant Minister replied, + “This ne’er had been, had ORDE ne’er lyed.” + The patient Priest at last relented; + And _all his Master wish’d_, invented; + Then added, with a saint-like whine, + “But the next Mitre _must_ be mine!” + +XIV. + + For _tongue_ or for _eye_, + Who with PRETTY can vie? + Sure such organs must save him much trouble; + For of labour not loth, + Tis the way with them both, + Their functions to execute----_double!_ + +XV. + + The days of miracle, ’twas thought, were past; + (Strange from what cause so wild an error sprung) + But now convinc’d, the world allows at last, + PRETTY’s still favour’d with a--_cloven tongue!_ + +XVI. + + _Faith in the Church_, all grave Divines contend, + Is the chief hold whence future hopes depend. + How hard then BRITAIN’s lot!--for who hath _faith_ + To credit _half_ what Doctor PRETTY saith? + +XVII. + +(By SIR CECIL WRAY.) + + Oh! if I had thought that PRETTY could lye, + I’d a hired him, I would, for my Scrutiny! + My poor Scrutiny!--My _dear_ Scrutiny! + My heart it down sinks--I wish I could die! + +XVIII. + +(By SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY.) + + Lord BACON hang’d poor HOGG, + For murd’ring, without pity, man; + And so should PITT, by Gog, + That kill-truth, Doctor PRETTYMAN-- + For say I will, spite of hip wig, + He’s far below the _learned Pig!_ + +XIX. + +(By THE SAME.) + + Says WRAY to me, which is most witty, + The learned Pig, or Parson PRETTY? + Says I, I thinks, the latter is more wiser; + PIGGY tells truth alone;--but PRETTY lyes, Sir. + +XX. + +(NOT by THE SAME.) + + Three Parsons for three different patrons writ, + For ROCKINGHAM, for PORTLAND, and for PITT + The first, in _speaking_ truth alone surpass’d; + The next could _write_ it too--not so the last.-- + The pride of Churchmen to be beat was loth-- + So PRETTYMAN’s the opposite to both! + +XXI. + + How much must IRELAND, PITT and PRETTY prize! + Who swear, at all events, to _equal--lyes_. + +XXII. + + ------_In vino Veritas_------ + + PRETTY, the other night, was tripping caught-- + Forgive him, PITT; he’ll not repeat the fault-- + The best may err--misled by wine and youth-- + His Rev’rence drank too hard; and told--_the truth!_ + Ev’n thou, should generous wine o’ercome thy sense, + May’st rashly stumble on the same offence. + +XXIII. + + There are who think all State affairs + The worst of wicked worldly cares, + To mingle with the priestly leaven; + Yet sure the argument’s uncouth---- + PRETTY shall _doubly_ spread the truth, + A Minister of Earth and Heaven. + +XXIV. + + While modern Statesmen glean, from priestly tribes, + Rev’rend _Commis_, and sanctimonious scribes; + ’Tis love of _truth_--yet vain the hope, alas! + To make this _Holy Writ_ for _Gospel_ pass. + +XXV. + + Above the pride of worldly fame or show, + A virtuous Priest should upwards turn his eyes---- + Thus PRETT contemns all _character_ below, + And thinks of nothing but the way to _rise_. + +XXVI. + + ’Gainst PRETTY’s unholiness vain ’tis to rail; + With a courtly Divine that’s of little avail; + What Parson polite, would not virtue offend, + And maintain a _great_ falsehood, to save a _great_ friend? + +XXVII. + + If St. PETER was made, + Of Religion the head, + For boldly his master denying; + Sure, PRETTY may hope + At least to be Pope, + For his greater atchievements in lying. + +XXVIII. + + Says PRETTYMAN, “I’ll fib, d’ye see, + If you’ll reward me freely.” + “Lye on (cries PITT) and claim of me + The Bishoprick of E--LYE.” + +XXIX. + + ’Tis said the _end_ may sanctify the _means_, + And pious frauds denote a special grace; + Thus PRETTY’s lye his master nobly screens-- + Himself, good man! but seeks a _better place_. + +XXX. + + “Sons of PATRICK! (cries ORDE) set up shop in your bog, + And you’ll ruin the trade of JOHN BULL and NICK FROG.” + “That’s a lye (replies PITT) we shall gain by their riches; + If we wear IRISH _shirts_, they must wear ENGLISH _breeches_” + “You both lye (exclaims PRETTY) but I will lye too; + And, compar’d with my lye, what you say will seem true!” + +XXXI. + + For pert malignity observ’d alone, + In all things else unnotic’d, and unknown; + Obscurely odious, PRETTY pass’d his days, + Till more inventive talents won our lays. + “Now write, he cries, an Epigram’s my pride: + Who wou’d have known me, if I ne’er had ly’d?” + + +XXXII. + + With pious whine, and hypocritic snivel, + Our fathers said, “_Tell truth_, and _shame the Devil!_” + A nobler way bold PR----TT----N is trying, + He seeks to _shame_ the Devil--by outlying, + + +XXXIII. +(In answer to a former.) + + No _cloven tongue_ the Doctor boasts from heav’n, + Such gifts but little wou’d the Doctor boot; + For preaching _Truth_ the _cloven tongues_ were giv’n, + His lyes demonstrate more the _cloven foot_. + + +XXXIV. + + Maxims, says PRETT, and adages of old, + Were circumscrib’d, though clever; + Thus Truth they taught, _not always_ should be told; + But I maintain, _not ever_. + + +XXXV. + + In the drama of CONGREVE, how charm’d do we read + Of _Spintext_ the _Parson_, and _Maskwell_ the _Cheat_, + But in life would you study them closer, indeed, + For equal originals--see _Downing-street_. + + +XXXVI. + + PITT and PRETTY came from College + To serve themselves, and serve the state; + And the world must all acknowledge + Half is done--so half may wait: + For PRETTY says, ’tis rather new, + When even _half_ they say--is _true_. + + +XXXVII. + The Devil’s a dealer in lyes, and we see + That two of a trade never yet could agree; + Then DOCTOR proceed, and d--m------n despise, + What Devil would take such a rival in lyes. + + +XXXVIII. + +GRAND TREATY OF LYING. + + The Devil and PRETTY a treaty have made, + On a permanent footing to settle their trade; + ’Tis the Commerce of Lying,--and this is the law; + The Devil _imports_ him all lyes that are raw_;_ + Which, check’d by no _docket_, unclogg’d with a fee, + The _Priest_ manufactures, and vends _duty free_; + Except where the lye gives his conscience such trouble, + The _internal_ expence should have recompence double. + Thus to navigate falsehood no bar they’ll devise; + But Hell must become the EMPORIUM of Lyes. + Nay, the Bishops themselves, when in pulpit they bark it, + Must supply their consumption, from Satan’s _own market_, + While _reciprocal tribute_ is paid for the whole + In a surplusage _d--mn--g_ of P--TTY--’s soul. + + + + +FOREIGN EPIGRAMS. + + +I. +_By the_ Chevalier de BOUFFLERS. + + “PRETTIMAN est menteur, il s’est moqué de nous” + “(Se crient en courroux tous les sots d’Angleterre)” + Calmez vous donc, Messieurs--eh! comment savez vous + Si c’est bien un mensonge, ou si c’est un mystère? + + +II. +_By_ Professor HEYNE, _of the_ UNIVERSITY _of_ GOTTINGEN. + + _In Dominum_ PITTUM _Doctoremque_ PRETTYMANNUM, + _Figulus_ loquitur--Scena, Vicus, vulgo dictus _Downing_. + Vivitur hic, cives, pacto quo denique? Rhetor + Ecce loqui refugit; scribere scriba negat. + + +III. +BY THE SAME. + + Falsiloquusne Puer magis, an fallacior ille + Scriba? Puer fallax, scribaque falsiloquus. + + +IV. +_By_ COMTE CASIMIR, _a descendant of the famous_ CASIMIR, _the great +Latin Poet of_ POLAND. + + BELLUS HOMO atque _pius_ vis idem dicier--At tu + Mendax, unde Pius? Bellus es unde, Strabo? + + +V. +_By_ FATHER MOONY, _Parish Priest of_ KILGOBBIN. + + A Mick na braaga Streepy poga ma Thone + Na vuishama da Ghob, Oghone! Oghone! + + +VI. +[1]_By_ EUGENIUS, _Archbishop of_ SLAVENSK _and_ KHERSON, +_in Russia, and Author of a Translation of_ VIRGIL’S GEORGICS _into_ +Greek Hexameters. + + Ψευδων ουχ ιερευς αισχυνεται. Ειϑε σ’ αληϑως, + Ω ψευδων ιερευ, και ψευδιερηα λεγοιμι. + + Falsa-dicens Sacerdos non erubescit. Utinam te verè + O falsa-dicens Sacerdos, et falsò-te-sacerdotem-dicentem appellarem. + + +VII. +BY THE SAME. + + Ψευδων ουτος ολως ου παυσεται. Ην δε γενωμαι + Τειουδ’ αυτοσ εγων ποτ’ επισκοπος, ου μεν εασω, + Ο ψευδων δ’ ιερευς και ψευδιερευς ταχ’ αν ειη. + + Falsa dicere ille omnino non desinet. Si vero fierem + Talis vlri ipse ego quandoque Episcopus, non equidem sinerem + Falsa-dicens autem sacerdos et qui-se-falso-sacerdotem diceret cito + foret. + + +VIII. +_By_ Mons. VILLOISON, _the celebrated Grecian and French Editor +of_ LONGINUS, &c. &c. + + Ad amicum quendam qui DOCTOREM PRETTIMANNUM _sacerdotem_ appellaret. + + α. Ψευδειν ουχ ΙΕΡΟΝ. τι δε τον ψευδονϑ’ ΙΕΡΗΑ + Χρη στε καελιν; β. ΙΕΡΕΥΣ κ’ ουχ ΙΕΡΟΣ λεγεται. + + a. Mentiri non _sacrum_. Quid verò mentientem _sacerdotem_ + Oportet te vocare? b. _Sacerdos_ & non _sacer_ dicitur. + + +IX. +MADRIGALE--_By_ SIGNOR CAPONINI _of_ ROME. + + In quel bel dì, ch’il DIO del VERO nacque, + Per tutto il mondo tacque + Ogni Oracol mendace in ogni fano. + Cosi va detto, ma si e detto in vano. + Ecco, in quest’ isola remota, anch’ora + L’Oracola s’adora + D’un giovinetto Febo, che a le genti + Per un suo sacerdote manda fnora + Quel, ch’ei risponde a lusingar lor menti; + In guisa, che puo far chiamar verace + L’Oracolo de’ Grechi più mendace. + + +X. +_By_ Dr. CORTICELLI _of_ BOLOGNA. + + Io non ho mai veduto un sì bel PRETTIMANNO, + Con un sì gran Perrucho, e d’ occhi sì _squintanno_. + + +XI. +_In the language of_ OTAHEITE.--_By M. de_ BOUGAINVILLE. +(_With an interlined Translation, according to Capt._ COOK’s GLOSSARY.) + + [2]Prettyman _to call liar interjection + Peetimai_, tooo too, ooo, taata, Allaheueeai! + + _Insincere man to cuff liar nasty_ Prettyman + Hamaneeno, eparoo, taata, erepo, _Peetimai_. + + +XII. +_In the language of_ TERRA INCOCNITA (_viz_. AUSTRALIS), _by the noted +Mr._ BRUCE. + +[A translation is requested by the earliest discoverer, the original +being left at the publisher’s for his inspection by the author, who +has most kindly communicated the following representation of the +genuine words, adapted to the ENGLISH type.--May we not presume to +suggest the infinite service Mr. M‘PHERSON would render to his +country, were he generously to embark in the first outward-bound ship +for TERRA AUSTRALIS--No man in EUROPE being so well qualified for the +useful station of universal linguist and decypherer to the +savages--“_I decus, I nostrum._”] + + HOT. TOT. + HUM. SCUM. + KIKEN- ASS. + HOT. TOT. + ROW. ROW. + KIKEN. ASS. + QUIP. LUNK. + NUN. SKUMP. + KISSEN. ASS. + TARRAH. DUD. + LICEN. TOCK. + KIKEN. ASS. TOT. + +We must apologize to several of our more erudite correspondents, for +suspending some short time the publication of their most curious +epigrams on the Doctor. We have not the least objection to the extra +expence necessarily incurred on the present occasion, by the purchase +of a variety of antique types. Nay, we have actually contracted with +the celebrated CASLON, for the casting of a proper quantity of the +COPTIC and RUNIC characters, in order to the due representation of +the PRETTYMANIANA, communicated by Professor WHITE, and Mons. MAILLET. +As it might be some time, however, before Mr. CASLON, even with the +assistance of Mess. FRY and Son’s foundery, can furnish us with the +PERSIC, SYRIAC, and CHACHTAW types, we cannot promise the Doctor +the insertion of the GENTOO REBUS, or the NEW ZEALAND ACROSTIC in the +present edition. + + +[1] We cannot withhold from the good Bishop our particular thanks for +his excellent Haxameters, which breathe indeed the spirit both of +piety and poetry. We have taken the liberty of subjoining a literal +translation, in Latin Prose, to the Epigrams of EUGENIUS, as well as +to the distich of Mons. VILLOISON, for the accommodation of the young +Students at our Universities. + +[2] PEETIMAI is wonderfully near the original PRETTYMAN, considering +that, after every effort, the inhabitants of OTAHEITE could not +approximate to the name of BANKS nearer than OPANO--nor of COOK, +than TOOTE. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. + + +Missing from the genealogies of the new Peers--three FATHERS--five +MOTHERS--nine GRANDFATHERS--fourteen GRANDMOTHERS--twenty +GREAT-GRANDFATHERS--and nearly twice the number of GREAT-GRANDMOTHERS--also +some COMPLETE GENERATIONS OF ANCESTORS. + +If any person can give notice at the HERALD’s OFFICE of any Fathers, +Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, worth owning, of the names of C------, D------, +H------, L------, P------, E------, &c. &c. &c. so as that the said +Fathers, Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, may be taken and restored to the advertisers, the +person so informing, for every such notice, shall receive ONE GUINEA +reward, and no questions shall be asked. + +And if any person will undertake to find ANCESTORS BY THE GENERATION, +for every regular descent of not less than _three_, and not more than +_five_, he shall receive TWO GUINEAS each ancestor; and for every +regular descent of not less than _six_, and not more than _ten_, he +shall receive FIVE GUINEAS each ancestor, and so in proportion for +any greater number. + +A HANDSOME COMPLIMENT will also be given, in addition to the rewards +above proposed, for ANCESTORS who distinguished themselves under +JAMES II. CHARLES II. and CHARLES I. in the cause of PREROGATIVE. +Likewise an extraordinary price will be paid for the discovery of +any ANCESTOR of REMOTE ANTIQUITY and HIGH FAMILY; such as the immortal +DUKE ROLLO, companion of WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR, and founder of the +present illustrious family of ROLLE. + +N.B. No greater reward will be offered, as THE HERALDS have received +directions for making NEW. + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE FIRST. + +----But what says my good LORD BISHOP OF LONDON to this same +WESTMINSTER SCRUTINY--this daily combination of rites, _sacred_ and +_profane_--ceremonies _religious_ and _political_ under his hallowed +roof of ST. ANN’S CHURCH, SOHO? Should his Lordship be unacquainted +with this curious process, let him know it is briefly this:--At +_ten_ o’clock the HIGH BAILIFF opens his inquisition in the VESTRY, +for the PERDITION OF VOTES, where he never fails to be honoured +with a crowded audience.--At _eleven_ o’clock the HIGH PRIEST mounts +the rostrum in the CHURCH for the SALVATION OF SOULS, without a +single _body_ to attend him; even his corpulent worship, the clerk, +after the first introductory AMEN, filing off to the Vestry, to lend +a hand towards reaping a quicker harvest!--The alternate vociferations +from Church to Vestry, during the different SERVICES, were found to +cross each other sometimes in responses so apposite, that a gentleman +who writes shorthand was induced to take down part of the +Church-medley-dialogue of one day, which he here transcribes for general +information, on a subject of such singular importance, _viz_. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I cannot see that _this here fellow_ is a just vote. + +CURATE.--“_In thy sight shall no man living be justified._” + +Mr. FOX.--I despise the pitiful machinations of my opponents, knowing + the just cause of my electors must in the end prevail. + +CURATE.--“_And with thy favourable kindness shalt thou defend him as + with a shield._” + +WITNESS.--He swore d--n him if he did not give Fox a plumper! + +CLERK--“_Good Lord! deliver us._” + +Mr. MORGAN.--I stand here as Counsel for Sir CECIL WRAY. + +CURATE.--“_A general pestilence visited the land, serpents and_ FROGS + _defiled the holy temple._” + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--Mr. HIGH BAILIFF, the audacity of that fellow opposite + to me would almost justify my chastising him in this sacred place; + but I will content myself with rolling his heavy head in the + neighbouring kennel. + +CURATE.--“_Give peace in our time, O Lord!_” + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I rise only to say thus much, that is, concerning + myself--though as for the matter of myself, I don’t care, Mr. HIGH + BAILIFF, much about it-- + +Mr. FOX.--Hear! hear! hear! + +CURATE.--“_If thou shalt see the ass of him that hateth thee lying + under his burthen, thou shalt surely help him._” + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I trust--I dare say--at least I hope I may venture + to think--that my Right Hon. friend--I should say enemy--fully + comprehends what I have to offer in my own defence. + +CURATE.--“_As for me I am a worm, and no man; a very scorn of men, + and the outcast of the people!--fearfulness and trembling are come + upon me, and an horrible dread overwhelmed me!!!_” + +HIGH BAILIFF.--As that _fellow there_ says he did not vote for Fox, + who did he poll for? + +CURATE.--“BARRABAS!--_now Barrabas was a robber._” + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE SECOND. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--This here case is, as I may say, rather _more_ muddier +than I could wish. + +DEPUTY GROJAN.--_Ce n’est pas clair_--I _tink_, Sir, with you. + +CURATE.--“_Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord!_” + +Mr. FOX.--Having thus recapitulated all the points of so contradictory +an evidence, I leave you, Mr. High Bailiff, to decide upon its merits. + +CURATE.--“_He leadeth Counsellors away spoiled, and maketh Judges +fools._” + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I don’t care three brass pins points about that +there--though the poor _feller_ did live in a shed; yet as he says he +once boiled a sheep’s head under his own roof, which I calls his +_casthillum_--_argyle_, I declares him a good _wote_! + +CLERK.--“_Oh Lord! incline our hearts to keep this law._” + +BAR-KEEPER.--Make way for the parish-officers, and the other _gemmen_ +of the _Westry_. + +CURATE.--“_I said my house should be called a house of prayer, but ye +have made it a den of thieves!_” + +Mr. ELCOCK.--_Mr. High Bailey!_ Sir, them there _Foxites_ people are +_sniggering_ and _tittering_ on the other side of the table; and +from what I can guess I am sure it can be at nobody but you or me. + +CURATE.--“_Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the +understanding of a man!_” + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I am sure this same SCRUTINY proves sufficiently +burthensome to me. + +CURATE.--“_Saddle me an ass, and they saddled him._” + +HIGH BAILIFF.--Mr. HARGRAVE here, my counsel, says--it is my opinion +that this _wote_ is legally substantiated according to law. + +CURATE.--“_So_ MORDECAI _did, according to all that_ JEHOSAPHAT +_commanded him!_” + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--And now, friend MORGAN, having gone through my list +of thirty votes, and struck off twenty-six bad, from that number, +I will leave you to make your own comment thereon. + +CURATE.--“_And lo! when they arose in the morning, they were all dead +corpses!_” + +HIGH BAILIFF.--But for God’s sake, good Sir, in that case, what will +the people justly say of _me?_ + +CURATE.--“_Let a gallows be erected fifty cubits high, and to-morrow +speak unto the King, that_ MORDECAI _may be hanged thereon!_” + + + + +PARAGRAPH-OFFICE, IVY-LANE. + + +Whereas by public orders from this office, all GENTLEMEN RUNNERS and +SCRIBBLERS, PUNNERS and QUIBBLERS, PUFFERS, PLAISTERERS, DAUBERS and +SPATTERERS, in our pay, and under our direction, were required, for +reasons therein specified, to be particularly diligent in defending +and enforcing the projected DUTY ON COALS. + +AND WHEREAS the virtuous and illustrious CHANCELLOR OR THE EXCHEQUER, +patriotically resolving to prefer the private interests of his friends +to the public distress of his enemies; and prudently preferring the +friendship of Lord LONSDALE to the satisfaction of ruining the +manufactures of IRELAND, has accordingly signified in the HOUSE OF +COMMONS, that he intends to propose some other tax as a substitute +for the said duty. + +THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE to all Gentlemen Runners, and Scribblers, as +aforesaid, that they hold themselves ready to furnish, agreeably to +our future orders, a sufficient number of panegyrical paragraphs, +properly ornamented with _Italics_ and CAPITALS, notes of +interrogation, and notes of admiration, apostrophe’s and exclamations, +in support of any tax whatever, which the young Minister in his wisdom +may think proper to substitute. AND in the mean time that they fail +not to urge the public spirit and zeal for the national welfare, +humanity to the poor, and regard for the prosperity of our +manufacturers, which considerations ALONE induced the Minister to +abandon his original purpose of taxing coals: AND that they expatiate +on the wise exemptions and regulations which the Minister would +certainly have introduced into his bill for enacting the said tax, but +that (as he declared in the House of Commons) unfortunately for the +finances of this country, he had not time in the present Session of +Parliament to devise such exemptions and regulations: AND FINALLY, +that they boldly assert the said tax to have been GOOD, POLITIC, JUST, +and EQUITABLE; but that the new tax, which is to be substituted in +place of it, will necessarily be BETTER, MORE POLITIC, MORE JUST, and +MORE EQUITABLE. + + MAC-OSSIAN, + _Superintendent-general of the Press._ + + + + +PITT AND PINETTI. A PARALLEL. + + +SIGNOR PINETTI the Conjuror, and Mr. PITT the Premier, have a +wonderful similitude in the principal transactions and events by +which they are distinguished. + +PINETTI, in defiance of Mr. COLMAN, took possession of his property +in the HAYMARKET THEATRE, and by the help of a little agency behind +the scenes, played several tricks, and became popular! + +Mr. PITT in like manner seized upon another THEATRE-ROYAL, in the +absence of the rightful possessor, the Duke of PORTLAND. He had not, +it is true, the permission of a LORD CHAMBERLAIN as PINETTI had; but +the countenance of a LORD OF THE BEDCHAMBER was deemed equivalent. +Here he exhibited several surprising tricks and deceptions: we will +say nothing of the agency, but all present appeared delighted. PINETTI +also exhibited in the presence of Royalty, and with equal success, +as the sign manual he boasts of will testify. + +PINETTI cuts a lemon in two, and shews a KNAVE OF DIAMONDS--Mr. PITT +in like manner can divide the HOUSE OF COMMONS, which for its acidity +may be called the political lemon. He cannot at present shew a KNAVE +OF DIAMONDS; but what may he not do when Mr. HASTINGS arrives?[1] + +PINETTI takes a number of rings, he fastens them together, and +produces a CHAIN.--Does any person dispute Mr. PITT’s ability to +construct a CHAIN? + +PINETTI has a SYMPATHETIC LIGHT, which he extinguishes at command--Mr. +PITT’s method of leaving us in the dark is by BLOCKING UP our WINDOWS! + +PINETTI takes money out of one’s pocket in defiance of all the +caution that can be used--Mr. PITT does the same, without returning +it.--In this the Minister differs from the Conjuror! + +PINETTI attempted to strip off an Englishman’s shirt; if he had +succeeded, he would have retained his popularity.--Mr. PITT attempted +this trick, and has carried his point. + +PINETTI has a bird which sings exactly any tune put before it.--Mr. +PITT has upwards of TWO HUNDRED birds of this description.--N.B. +PEARSON says they are a pack of CHATTERING MAGPIES. + + +[1] The Editor feels it necessary to declare, in justice to Mr. +HASTINGS’s character, that the charges since preferred by the HOUSE +OF COMMONS, and MAJOR SCOTT’s _honour as a Gentleman_, have amply +disproved all parts of this comparison. + + + + +NEW ABSTRACT +OF THE +BUDGET, +FOR 1784. + + +COMMUTATION TAX.--An Act for rendering houses more chearful, healthy, +comfortable, and commodious. + +PAPER DITTO.--An Act for the encouragement of authors, the promotion +of learning, and extending the liberty of the press. + +POSTAGE DITTO.--An Act for expediting business, increasing social +intercourse, and facilitating the epistolary correspondence of +friends. + +DISTILLERY DITTO.--An Act for making the landlords responsible to +government for the obedience of their own and their neighbours +tenantry. + +CANDLE DITTO.--An Act for the benevolent purpose of putting the +blind on a level with their fellow-creatures. + +EXCISE GOODS DITTO.--An Act for lessening the burthen of the subject +by an increase of the collection. + +SOAP DITTO.--An Act for suppressing the effeminacy of Englishmen, +by disappointing them of clean linen. + +SMUGGLING DITTO.--An Act for demonstrating the arbitrary spirit +of this free government, in whatever clashes with the interests +of the Treasury. + +GAME DITTO.--An Act for making the many responsible, for a monopoly +of every thing nice and delicate, to the palates of the few. + +HORSE DITTO.--An Act for reducing the farmers to the wholesome +exercise of walking, while their servants enfeeble themselves +with riding. + + + + +THEATRICAL INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY. + + +At the last grand FETE given by Mr. JENKINSON to his friends in +Administration, it was proposed, that as WILBERFORCE had sprained +his leg at the last game at LEAPFROG, and PRATT had grown too fat +for their old favourite sport of HIDE-AND-SEEK, some new diversion +should be instituted.--Various _succedanea_ were suggested, such as +CHUCK-FARTHING, MARBLES, &c. but at last the general voice determined +in favour of the DRAMA.--After some little altercation as to what +particular dramatic production to select, the comic opera of TOM JONES +was performed, and the arrangement of characters was disposed of +as follows: + + DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. + BLIFIL, - - MR PITT. + BLACK GEORGE, - MR. ROBINSON. + KING OF THE GYPSIES, - LORD THURLOW. + THWACKAM, - MR. JENKINSON. + SQUARE, - - DR. PRETTYMAN. + SQUIRE WESTERN, - MR. ROLLE. + PARTRIDGE, - - MR. MACPHERSON. + +The parts of ALLWORTHY, TOM JONES, and SOPHIA, were subjects of long +and difficult discussion; but at length Mr. DUNDAS put an end to the +altercation, by assuring the company that he was willing and able to +act ANY part, and would be glad, though at so short a notice, to +attempt that of ALLWORTHY. The same offer was handsomely made by +Lord DENBIGH for that of TOM JONES, and the character of SOPHIA was +at last allotted to VILLIERS. + + + + +THE +WESTMINSTER GUIDE. + + +PART I. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. ANSTY. + + Poet to town, my friend ANSTY, or if you refuse + A visit in person, yet spare us your muse: + Give her wing, ere too late for this city’s election, + Where much waits her comment, and more her correction. + What novels to laugh at! what follies to chide! + Oh! how we all long for a WESTMINSTER Guide! + First, in judgment decisive, as OTTOMAN Califf, + Aloft on the hustings, behold the HIGH BAILIFF! + But we miss from the seat, where law rests on a word, + The old symbols of justice--the scales and the sword-- + As a symbol too martial the sword he discards, + So ’tis lodg’d where it suits--in the hands of the guards; + And doubting the poise of weak hands like his own, + He suspended the scales at the foot of the throne.---- + + Turn next to the candidates--at such a crisis-- + We’ve a right to observe on their virtues or vices. + Hood founds (and with justice to most apprehensions) + In years of fair services, manly pretensions; + But his party to change, and his friend to betray, + By some are held better pretensions in WRAY. + + For the third, if at Court we his character scan, + A dæmon incarnate is poor CARLO KHAN; + Catch his name when afloat on convivial bumpers, + Or sent up to the skies by processions of plumpers; + He is Freedom’s defender, the champion of Right, + The Man of the People, the nation’s delight. + To party or passion we scorn to appeal, + Nor want we the help of intemperate zeal; + Let Time from Detraction have rescued his cause, + And our verse shall but echo a nation’s applause. + + But hark! proclamation and silence intreated; + The inspectors arranged--the polling clerks seated-- + With Bibles in hand, to purge willing and loth, + With the Catholic Test, and the Bribery Oath. + In clamour and tumult mobs thicken around, + And for one voice to vote there are ten to confound: + St. GILES’s with WAPPING unites Garretteers, + HOOD and WRAY and PREROGATIVE, PITT and three cheers! + ’Tis the day for the Court--the grand Treasury push! + And the pack of that kennel well trained to the _brush_, + Dash noisy and fearless through thick and through thin, + The huntsman unseen, but his friends whippers-in. + + Now follow fresh tribes, scarce a man worth a louse, + Till put into plight at NORTHUMBERLAND HOUSE; + Ten poll for one mansion, each proving he keeps it, + And one for each chimney--he’ll prove that he sweeps it-- + With these mix the great, on rights equally fables, + Great Peers from poor lodgings, great Lawyers from stables; + Ev’n the Soldier, whose household’s a centinel box. + Claims a questionless franchise ’gainst Freedom and FOX; + All dubbed and maintained upon influence regal + Of the new H----E of C------S constituents legal. + + What troops too of females ’mong’st CHARLES’s opposers? + Old tabbies and gossips, scolds, gigglers, and sprosers! + And Lady LACKPENSION, and Dowager THRIFTY, + And many a maiden the wrong side of fifty; + And FUBZY, with flesh and with flabbiness laden + (And in all things indeed the reverse of a maiden), + And hags after hags join the barbarous din, + More hateful than serpents, more ugly than SIN. + + Thus [1] the Bacchanal tribes when they ORPHEUS assailed, + Drowned his notes with their yells ere their vengeance prevailed, + Well knowing the sound of his voice or his lyre, + Had charms to allay diabolical ire. + Our Bacchanals find a more difficult foe; + For what strains can inchant, though from ORPHEUS they flow, + Like the orator’s spell o’er the patriot mind, + When pleading to reason the cause of mankind? + + Now for councils more secret that govern the plan-- + _A Calif is nothing without a_ DIVAN. + With invisible step let us steal on the quorum, + Where MAINWARING sits in the Chair of Decorum. + And WILMOT harangues to the brethren elect, + [2]On his master’s commands--“Carry law to effect.” + “The true reading, my friends, in the _jus bacculinum_, + When the FOXITES are drubbed, then imprison or fine ’em; + And let him who would construe th’ effective still further, + Knock out a friend’s brains to accuse them of murder. + I have ready some hundreds of resolute knaves, + With bludgeons well shaped into Constables’ staves, + In WESTMINSTER strangers--true creatures of power, + Like the lions--ferociously nursed at the Tower[3]. + Do we want more support?--Mark! that band of red coats! } + Whose first service over, of giving their votes, } + Why not try for a second--the cutting of throats! } + From the SAVOY they march--their mercy all lie at, + When the Bench gives the call, and St. J------s’s the _fiat_.” + Thus the law of effect the wise justice expounds, + This is WILMOT’s abridgment compris’d in twelve rounds; + The new MIDDLESEX CODE--which treats subjects like partridge, + While the Statutes at large are cut up into cartridge. + + Enough of these horrors--a milder design, + Though not a more lawful one, CORBET, is thine! + The polling to close, but decision adjourn, + And in scrutiny endless to sink the return. + Thy employers who ranged on the Treasury Bench, + For prerogative fight, or behind it intrench, + Shall boldly stand forth in support of the act, + Which they mean to restrain by law after the fact. + With quibble and puzzle that reason disgrace. + Or with impudent paradox put in its place, + They shall hold, _that an indigent party’s defence, + When at war with the Treasury, lies in expence; + [4] That the part of the vexed is to cherish vexation, + And strain it through_ DRIPSTONES _of procrastination_-- + These positions you’ll say are indeed hypothetic-- + At Court they’ll be Gospel--the muse is prophetic. + +End of the First Part. + + +[1] Note.] _Thus the Bacchanal tribes, &c._ + + Cunctaque tela forent cantu mollita: sed ingens + Clamor, et inflatâ Berecynthia tibia cornu, + Tympanaque, Plaususque, et Bacchei ululatus + Obstrepuere sono Citheræ. Tum denique Saxa + Non exauditi rubuerunt Sanguine Vatis. + OVID. + +[2] See the letter of the Lord Lieutenant of M------x, May 8th. + +[3] These strange Constables were avowedly brought from the Tower +Hamlets. + +[4] See the speech of a young orator in a late debate. + + +END OF THE FIRST PART + + + + +PART II. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. HAYLEY. + + To thy candour now, HAYLEY, I offer the line, + Which after thy model I fain would refine. + Thy skill, in each trial of melody sweeter, + Can to elegant themes adapt frolicksome metre; + And at will, with a comic or tender controul, + Now speak to the humour, and now to the soul. + We’ll turn from the objects of satire and spleen, + That late, uncontrasted; disfigured the scene; + To WRAY leave the rage the defeated attends, + And the conqueror hail in the arms of his friends; + Count with emulous zeal the selected and true, + Enroll in the list, and the triumph pursue. + These are friendships that bloomed in the morning of life, + Those were grafted on thorns midst political strife; + Alike they matured from the stem, or the flower, + Unblighted by int’rest, unshaken by power. + Bright band! to whose feelings in constancy tried, + Disfavour is glory, oppression is pride; + Attached to his fortunes, and fond of his fame, + Vicissitudes pass but to shew you the same. + + But whence this fidelity, new to the age? + Can parts, though sublime, such attachments engage? + No: the dazzle of parts may the passions allure, + ’Tis the heart of the friend makes affections endure. + The heart that intent on all worth but its own, + Assists every talent, and arrogates none; + The feeble protects, as it honours the brave, + Expands to the just, and hates only the knave. + + These are honours, my FOX, that are due to thy deeds; + But lo! yet a brighter alliance succeeds; + The alliance of beauty in lustre of youth, + That shines on thy cause with the radiance of truth. + The conviction they feel the fair zealots impart, + And the eloquent eye sends it home to the heart. + Each glance has the touch of Ithuriel’s spear, + That no art can withstand, no delusion can bear, + And the effort of malice and lie of the day, + Detected and scorn’d, break like vapour away. + + Avaunt, ye profane! the fair pageantry moves: + An entry of VENUS, led on by the loves! + Behold how the urchins round DEVONSHIRE press! + For order, submissive, her eyes they address: + She assumes her command with a diffident smile, + And leads, thus attended, the pride of the Isle. + + Oh! now for the pencil of GUIDO! to trace, + Of KEPPEL the features, of WALDEGRAVES the grace; + Of FITZROY the bloom the May morning to vie, + Of SEFTON the air, of DUNCANNON the eye; + Of LOFTUS the smiles (though with preference proud, + She gives ten to her husband, for one to the croud), + Of PORTLAND the manner, that steals on the breast, + But is too much her own to be caught or express’d; + The charms that with sentiment BOUVERIE blends, + The fairest of forms and the truest of friends; + The look that in WARBURTON, humble and chaste, + Speaks candour and truth, and discretion and taste; + Or with equal expression in HORTON combined, + Vivacity’s dimples with reason refined. + + REYNOLDS, haste to my aid, for a figure divine, + Where the pencil of GUIDO has yielded to thine; + Bear witness the canvas where SHERIDAN lives, + And with angels, the lovely competitor, strives---- + While Earth claims her beauty and Heaven her strain, + Be it mine to adore ev’ry link of the chain! + + But new claimants appear ere the lyre is unstrung, + Can PAYNE be passed by? Shall not MILNER be sung? + See DELME and HOWARD, a favourite pair, + For grace of both classes, the zealous and fair---- + A verse for MORANT, like her wit may it please, + Another for BRADDYLL of elegant ease, + For BAMFYLDE a simile worthy her frame---- + Quick, quick--I have yet half a hundred to name---- + Not PARNASSUS in concert could answer the call, + Nor multiplied muses do justice to all. + + Then follow the throng where with festal delight, + More pleasing than HEBE, CREWE opens the night. + Not the goblet nectareous of welcome and joy, + That DIDO prepared for the hero of TROY; + Not Fiction, describing the banquets above, + Where goddesses mix at the table of JOVE; + Could afford to the soul more ambrosial cheer + Than attends on the fairer associates here. + But CREWE, with a mortal’s distinction content, + Bounds her claim to the rites of this happy event; + For the hero to twine civic garlands of fame, + With the laurel and rose interweaving his name, + And while Iö Pæans his merits avow, + As the Queen of the feast, place the wreath on his brow. + + + + +INSCRIPTION + + +_For the_ DUKE OF RICHMOND’_s Bust to the Memory of the +late_ MARQUIS OF ROCKINGHAM. + + Hail, marble! happy in a double end! + Raised to departed principles and friend: + The friend once gone, no principles would stay: + For very grief, they wept themselves away! + Let no harsh censure such conjunction blame, + Since join’d in life, their fates should be the same. + Therefore from death they feel a common sting, + And HEAV’N receives the one, and one the K--G. + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + +_Reason for Mr._ FOX’_s avowed contempt of one_ PIGOT’_s Address to +him._ + + Who shall expect the country’s friend, + The darling of the House, + Should for a moment condescend + To crack a [1]PRISON LOUSE. + +ANOTHER. + +_On one_ PIGOT’_s being called a_ LOUSE. + + PIGOT is a _Louse_, they say, + But if you kick him, you will _see_, + ’Tis by much the truest way, + To represent him as a FLEA. + +ANOTHER, + + For servile meanness to the great, + Let none hold PIGOT Cheap; + Who can resist his destined fate? + A LOUSE must always CREEP. + +ANOTHER. + + PIGOT is sure a most courageous man, + “A word and blow” for ever is his plan; + And thus his friends explain the curious matter, + He gives the first, and then receives the latter. + + +[1] The substantive in the marked part of this line has been long an +established SYNONYME for Mr. PIGOT, and the PREDICATE, we are assured, +is not at this time less just. + + + + +A NEW BALLAD, +ENTITLED AND CALLED +BILLY EDEN, +OR, THE +RENEGADO SCOUT. + + +_To the Tune of_ ALLY CROAKER. + + I. + There lived a man at BECKHAM, in KENT, Sir, + Who wanted a place to make him content, Sir; + Long had he sigh’d for BILLY PITT’s protection, + When thus he gently courted his affection: + Will you give a place, my dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If I can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + II. + He pimp’d with GEORGE ROSE, he lied with the DOCTOR, + He flatter’d Mrs. HASTINGS ’till almost he had shock’d her; + He got the ARCHBISHOP to write in his favour, + And when BILLY gets a beard, he swears he’ll be his shaver. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + III. + To all you young men, who are famous for changing, + From party to party continually ranging, + I tell you the place of all places to breed in, + For maggots of corruption’s the heart of BILLY EDEN. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can’t have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + + + +EPIGRAMS. + + +_On Sir_ ELIJAH IMPEY _refusing to resign his Gown as_ CHIEF JUSTICE +OF BENGAL. + + Of yore, ELIJAH, it is stated, + By angels when to Heav’n translated, + Before the saint aloft would ride, + His prophet’s robe he cast aside; + Thinking the load might sorely gravel + His porters on so long a travel; + But our ELIJAH somewhat doubting, + To him SAINT PETER may prove flouting, + And wisely of his mantle thinking, + That its furr’d weight may aid his sinking, + Scornful defies his namesake’s joke, + And swears by G--d he’ll keep his cloak. + +ANOTHER. + +_By Mr_. WILBERFORCE. + +_On reading Mr._ ROSE’_s Pamphlet on the_ IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + + Uncramp’d yourself by grammar’s rules, + You hate the jargon of the schools, + And think it most extremely silly; + But reading your unfetter’d prose, + I wish the too-licentious ROSE + Was temper’d by the chaster LILLY[1]. + +[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, +and still more for the happy classical quotations he has furnished +to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial +speakers. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + + +TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME. + +Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and +respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice +of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good +order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years +been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted +principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the +best and only judge of what suits the constitution, pleases the +appetite, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY +ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY +COUNCIL, that all his Majesty’s liege subjects, of all ranks, +descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the +date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of a +_premunire_, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quantity of +the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural +day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the +list or schedule herein after following, _viz_. + +I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his +Majesty’s kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.--If GREEN be +too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.--The method of +making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the +noble personages themselves. + +II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.--This will be no +inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had. + +III. DUCHESSES, DUCHESS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one +pound per ditto.--As this regulation is not intended to hurt his +Majesty’s Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual. + +IV. MAIDS OF HONOUR, CHAPLAINS, the MEMBERS of the CLUB AT WHITE’s, +and other young gentlemen of that RANK and DESCRIPTION (being pretty +nearly the usual quantity), two pound per ditto. + +V. To COUNTRY ’SQUIRES, FOX-HUNTERS, &c. as a most agreeable +substitute for STINGO and OCTOBER, three pound per ditto. + +VI. To DRAYMEN, CHAIRMEN, and BARGEMEN, instead of PORTER, two pound +per ditto. + +VII. To the Commonalty of this Realm, to drink with their victuals +and otherwise, at one pound for each person per ditto. + +And IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that no excuse or plea whatever shall be +deemed valid, for the non-compliance with the above regulations; AND +that whoever shall pretend, that the said wholesome and benign +decoction, either does not agree with him, or is more expensive than +his finances or state of life will permit, shall be only considered +as aggravating the offence of disobedience, by a contumacious doubt +of the better knowledge of his superiors, and a ridiculous endeavour +to seem to be better acquainted with his own constitution and +circumstances, than the efficient Minister of the country. + + GIVEN _at our Palace in_ DOWNING-STREET, + _this 24th Day of June, 1784._ + + + + +ORIGINAL LETTER. + + +Many doubts having arisen, principally among the gentlemen who belong +to the same profession with the Master of the Rolls, whether that +distinguished character has _really_ sent a draft to the HIGH BAILIFF +of WESTMINSTER, for the expences of a late trial and verdict in the +Common Pleas; and although the fact is not exactly as it has been +represented, yet the following authentic letter will sufficiently +evince the generous intentions of Sir LL----D, as soon as he becomes +rich enough for him to answer so heavy a demand. At present, all who +know the very circumscribed state of his income, compared with the +liberality of his expenditure--who consider the extent of those +different establishments, which he feels it necessary to keep up +by way of preserving the dignity of his high office--his wardrobe +and table for instance--will acknowledge the plea of poverty to be +justly urged. + + +_To_ THOMAS CORBETT, _Esq. +Chancery-Lane._ + +_My dear and faithful friend, Tho. Corbett,_ + +“I anticipate your application to me, for the expences of defending +yourself against the action brought by that fellow, FOX. If eternally +damning the jury would pay the verdict, I would not scruple to assist +you to the utmost of my abilities.--Though THURLOW is against us upon +this point, and to swear with him, you know, would be just as vain a +thing as to swear with the Devil; but, my friend, the long and the +short of this matter is, that I am _wretched poor_--wretchedly so, I +do assure you, in every sense and signification of the word. I have +long borne the profitless incumbrance of nominal and ideal wealth. My +income has been cruelly estimated at seven, or, as some will have it, +eight thousand pounds per annum. The profession of which I am a +Member, my dear THOMAS, has taught me to value facts infinitely more +than either words or reasons. I shall save myself, therefore, the +mortification of denying that I am rich, and refer you to the constant +habits, and whole tenor of my life. The proof to my friends is +easy--Of the economy which I am obliged to observe in one very necessary +article, my taylor’s bill for these last fifteen years, is a record +of the most indisputable authority. There are malicious souls, who +may object to this, as by no means the best evidence of the state of +my wardrobe; they will direct you, perhaps, to Lord STORMONT’s +Valet de Chambre, and accompany the hint with an anecdote, that +on the day when I kissed hands for my appointment to the office of +Attorney-General, I appeared in a laced waistcoat that once belonged +to his master. The topic is invidious, and I disdain to enter into +it.--I _bought_ the waistcoat, but despise the insinuation--nor is this +the only instance in which I am obliged to diminish my wants, and +apportion them to my very limited means. Lady K. will be my witness, +that until my last appointment, I was an utter stranger to the luxury +of a pocket handkerchief. + +“If you wish to know how I live, come and satisfy yourself--I shall +dine at home this day three months, and if you are not engaged, and +breakfast late, shall be heartily glad of your company; but in truth, +my butler’s place is become an absolute sinecure--early habits of +sobriety, and self-denial, my friend, have made me what I am--have +deceived the approach of age, and enabled me to support the laborious +duties, and hard vicissitudes of my station. + +“Besides, my dear BAILIFF, there are many persons to whom your +application would be made with infinitely more propriety than to me. +The nature of PEPPER ARDEN is mild, gentle, accommodating to the +extreme, and I will venture to engage that he would by no means +refuse a reasonable contribution. MACDONALD is, among those who +know him, a very proverb for generosity; and will certainly stand +by you, together with DUNDAS and the LORD ADVOCATE, if there be +fidelity in Scotchmen. BEARCROFT too will open his purse to you with +the same blind and improvident magnanimity with which he risqued his +opinion in your favour: besides, you are sure of PITT.--A real zeal +for your welfare, a most disinterested friendship, and some +consciousness that I have materially helped to involve you; and, +believe me, not the sordid motive of shifting either the blame, +or the expence upon the shoulders of others, have made me thus +eagerly endeavour to put you in the way of consulting your best +friends in this very critical emergency. + +“As to myself, you are possessed already of the circumstances which +render any immediate assistance on my part wholly out of the question. +Except half a dozen pair of black plush breeches, which I have but +this instant received, I can offer you nothing. My superfluities +extend no further. But better times may soon arrive, and I will not +fail you then. The present Chief Justice of the King’s Bench cannot +long retain his situation; and as you are one whom I have selected +from among many to be the friend of my bosom, I will now reveal to +you a great secret in the last arrangement of judicial offices. +Know then, that Sir ELIJAH IMPEY is the man fixed upon to preside +in the chief seat of criminal and civil jurisprudence of this country. +I am to succeed him in BENGAL; and then, my dear THOMAS, we may set +the malice of juries at defiance. If they had given FOX as many +diamonds by their verdict as they have pounds, rest assured that +I am not a person likely to fail you, after I shall have been there +a little while, either through want of faith, or want of means. +Set your mind, therefore, at ease; as to the money--why, if PITT is +determined to have nothing to do with it, and if nobody else will +pay it, I think the most adviseable thing, in your circumstances, +will be to pay it yourself. Not that you are to be ultimately at the +expence of a single shilling. The contents of this letter will fully +prove that I mean to reimburse you what I am able. For the present, +nobody knows better than yourself, not even Lady K----, how ill +matters stand with me, and that I find it utterly impossible to obey +the dictates of my feelings. + + “I am, my dear HIGH BAILIFF, + Your very affectionate friend, + And humble servant, + L.K.” + “_Lincoln’s-inn-fields_, + _June 20, 1786._” + + + + +A CONGRATULATORY ODE, + + +ADDRESSED TO THE +RIGHT HON. CHARLES JENKINSON, +on his being created LORD HAWKESBURY. + + Quem vimm aut heroa lyra vel acri + Tibia sumes celebrare, Clio? + Quem Deum? Cujus recinet jocosa + Nomen imago? HOR. + + JENKY, for you I’ll wake the lyre, + Tho’ not with Laureat WARTONS fire, + Your hard-won meed to grace: + Gay was your air, your visage blythe, + Unless when FOX has made you writhe, + With tortur’d MARSYAS’ face. + + No more you’ll dread such pointed sneer, + But safely skulk amidst your Peers, + And slavish doctrines spread; + As some ill-omen’d baneful yew + That sheds around a poisonous dew, + And shakes its rueful head. + + Your frozen heart ne’er learn’d to glow + At other’s good, nor melt at woe; + Your very roof is chilling: + There Bounty never spreads her ray; + You e’en shut out the light of day[1], + To save a paltry shilling, + + A Prince, by servile knaves addrest, + Ne’er takes a DEMPSTER to his breast, + JACK ROB’SON serves his ends; + Unrivall’d stood the treach’rous name, + Till envious EDEN urg’d his claim, + While both betray their friends. + + On whom devolves your back-stairs cloak, + When, prophet-like, “you mount as smoke[2]?” + Must little POWNEY catch it? + But as ’tis rather worse for wear, + Let mighty BUCKS take special care + To brush it well and patch it. + + While o’er his loyal breast so true, + Great G---- expands the riband blue, + There--Honour’s star will shine: + As RAWDON was bold RICHMOND’s Squire, + To install a Knight so full of fire + --Let ASTON, BUCKS, be thine. + + JENKY, pursue Ambition’s task, + The King will give whate’er you ask, + Nor heed the frowns of PITT; + Tho’ proud, he’ll truckle to disgrace, + By feudal meanness keep his place[3], + And turn the royal spit. + + With saintly HILL divide your glory[4], + No true King’s friend, on such a Tory + The peerage door will shut; + Canting, he’ll serve both Church and Throne, + And make the Reverend Bench your own, + By piety and smut. + + BANKS at his side, demure and sly, + Will aptly tell a specious lye, + Then speed the royal summons: + He’s no raw novice in the trade, + His honour’s now a batter’d jade-- + PITT flung it to the Commons. + + While THURLOW damns these cold delays, + Mysterious diamonds vainly blaze, + The impending vote to check; + K.B. and Peer, let HASTINGS shine, + IMPEY, with pride, will closely twine + The collar round his neck. + + Ennobling thus the mean and base, + Our gracious S--------’s art we trace, + Assail’d by factions bold; + So prest, great FREDERICK rose in fame, + On _pots de chambre_ stamp’d his name[5], + And pewter pass’d for gold. + + Should restive SYDNEY keep the seal, + JENKY, still shew _official_ zeal, + Your friend, your master, charm; + Revive an ANGLO-SAXON place[6], + Let GEORGE’s feet your bosom grace, + Your love will keep them warm. + +[1] Mr. JENKINSON exhibited a laudable example of political œconomy, +by shutting up several of his windows at his seat near Croydon, on the +passing of the Commutation Act. His Majesty’s _bon mot_ on this +occasion should not be forgot. “What! what! (said the Royal Jester) do +my subjects complain of?--JENKY tells me he does not pay as much to the +Window Tax as he did before. Why then don’t my people do like JENKY?” + +[2] A beautiful oriental allusion, borrowed from Mr. HASTINGS’s Ode, + “And care, _like smoke_, in turbid wreathes, + Round the gay ceiling flies.” + +[3] FINCHFIELD.--Co. ESSEX.----JOHN CAMPES held this manor of King +EDWARD III. by the service of _turning the spit_ at his coronation. + _Camden’s Britannia--article Essex._ + +[4] The King magnanimously refused to create either Sir RICHARD HILL, +or Mr. BANKS, Peers, that the singular honour bestowed _solely_ by his +Majesty might be more conspicuous, and that Mr. PITT’s humiliation +might no longer be problematic. Sir RICHARD had composed a beautiful +sacred cantata on the occasion, dedicated to his brother, the Rev. +ROWLAND HILL. The first stanza alludes, by an apt quotation from the +68th Psalm, to the elevation and dignities of the family: + “Why hop so high, ye little H_I_LLS?” + With joy, the Lord’s anointed f_i_lls; + Let’s pray with one accord! + In sleepless visions of the night, + NORTH’s cheek I smote with all my might, + For which I’m made a Lord, &c. &c. + +[5] The King of PRUSSIA replenished his exhausted treasury in the war +of 1756, by a coinage of pewter ducats. + +[6] “Besides the twenty-four officer above described, there were +eleven others of considerable value in the courts of the ancient +Princes, the most remarkable of which was, that of the King’s +feet-bearer; this was a young gentleman, whose duty it was to sit +on the floor, with his back towards the fire, and hold the King’s +feet in his bosom all the time he sat at table, to keep them warm +and comfortable.” + _Leges Wallicæ, p.58.--Henry’s History of Great Britain, v.2,p.275_ + + + + +ODE +_to_ SIR ELIJAH IMPEY. + + + Æli, vetusto nobilis a Lamo, + Quando et priores hinc Lamia ferunt + Denominatos, &c. + + ELI-JAH noblest of the race + Of [1]IMPS, from whom the IMPEYS trace, + If common fame says true, + Their origin; and that they found + Their claim on just and solid ground, + Refer for _proof_ to you-- + + You, who could post nine hundred miles, + To fathom an old woman’s wiles, + Possess’d of _dangerous_ treasure; + Could hurry with a pedlar’s pack + Of affidavits at your back, + In quest of health and pleasure. + + And all because the jealous JOVE[2] + Of Eastern climes thought fit to prove + The _venom_ of his reign; + On which, to minds of light esteem, + _Some few severities_ might seem + To leave a transient stain. + + Soon [3] on your head from yon dark sky, + Or WOODFALL’_s Hasty Sketches_ lye, + The gather’d storm will break! + Deep will the vengeful thunder be, + And from the sleep he owes to thee, + Shall NUNDCOMAR awake! + + Then arm against the rude attack, + Recall thy roving memory back, + And all thy proofs collect!-- + Remember that you cannot gain + A second hearing to _explain_, + And [4] _therefore_ be correct. + + +[1] MILTON makes honourable mention of the founder of the family: + “Fit vessel, fittest _Imp_ of Fraud.” + _Paradise Lost, b._ IX. + +It may be observed, in proof of the descent, as well as to the credit +of the present Representative, that he has not degenerated from the +characteristic “obliquity” of his Ancestor. + +[2] Late Tyrannus. + +[3] Demissa tempestas ab Euro + Sternet--Nisi fallit Augur + Anosa Cornix. + +[4] See Declaration of Sir E---- I----, offered to the House by +Mt. DEMPSTER. + + + + +SONG. + + +_To the Tune of_ “LET THE SULTAN SALADIN,” _in_ RICHARD CŒUR DE LION. + + I. + Let great GEORGE his porkers bilk, + And give his maids the sour skim-milk; + With her stores let CERES crown him, + ’Till the gracious sweat run down him, + Making butter night and day: + Well! well! + Every King must have his way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + II. + BILLY PITT delights to prose, + ’Till admiring Grocers dose; + Ancient Virgins all adore him, + Not a woman falls before him; + Never kissing night nor day: + Well! well! + Every child must have its way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + III. + You too, HASTINGS, know your trade! + No vile fears your heart invade, + When you rove for EASTERN plunder, + Making Monarchs truckle under, + Slitting windpipes night and day: + Well! well! + Governors will have their way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + + + +A NEW SONG, +ENTITLED +MASTER BILLY’S BUDGET; +OR, +A TOUCH ON THE TIMES. + + +_To the Turn of_ “A COBLER THERE WAS,” &c. + + Ye boobies of Britain, who lately thought fit + The care of the state to a child to commit, + Pray how do you like your young Minister’s budget? + Should he take your last farthing, you never can grudge it. + Deny down, &c + + A tax on your heads! there’d be justice in that; + But he only proposes a tax on your hat; + So let every ENGLISHMAN throw up his beaver, + And hollo. Prerogative BILLY for ever! + Deny down, &c + + Not being much favour’d with female applauses, + He takes his revenge on their ribands and gauzes; + Then should not each female, Wife, Widow, or Miss, + To Coventry send master BILLY for this? + Deny down, &c + + How oft has he told us his views were upright! + That his actions would all bear the test of the light! + Yet he sure in the dark must have something to do, + Who shuts out both day-light and candle-light too. + Deny down, &c + + JOHN BULL’s house is tax’d, so he plays him a trick, + By cunningly laying a duty on brick; + Thus JOHN for his dwelling is fore’d to pay twice, + But BILLY hopes JOHN will not smoke the device. + Deny down, &c + + What little we may have by industry made, + We must pay for a licence to set up a trade; + So that ev’ry poor devil must now be tax’d more + For dealing in goods that paid taxes before. + Deny down, &c + + The Callico-printers may beg if they please; + As dry as a sponge he their cotton will squeeze; + With their tears let them print their own linens, cries he, + But they never shall make an impression on me, + Deny down, &c + + The crazy old hackney-coach, almost broke down, + Must now pay ten shillings instead of a crown; + And to break him down quite, if the first will not do’t, + Ten shillings a-piece on his horses to boot. + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon horses may not be severe, + But his scheme for collecting it seems very queer; + Did a school-boy e’er dream of a project so idle? + A tax on a horse by a stamp on a bridle! + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon sportsmen I hold to be right; + And only lament that the tax is so light; + But, alas! it is light for this palpable cause, + That sportsmen themselves are the makers of laws! + Deny down, &c + + He fain would have meddled with coals, but I wot + For his fingers the Gentleman found them too hot; + The rich did not like it, and so to be sure, + In its place he must find out a tax on the poor. + Deny down, &c + + Then last, that our murmurs may teaze him the less, + By a tax upon paper he’d silence the press; + So our sorrow by singing can ne’er be relax’d, + Since a song upon taxes itself must be tax’d. + Deny down, &c + + But now it is time I should finish my song, + And I wish from my soul that it was not so long, + Since at length it evinces in trusting to PITT, + Good neighbours, we all have been cursedly bit. + Deny down, &c + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + + While BURKE, in strains pathetic, paints + The sufferings dire of GENTOO saints, + From HOLY CITY[1] driven; + Cries HASTINGS, I admit their worth, + I thought them far too good for earth, + So pack’d them off to Heaven. + + +ANOTHER. + +MAJOR SCOTT’_s Defence of the_ ROHILLA MASSACRE. + + So poor ROHILLAS overthrown, + That HASTINGS has no mercy shown + In vain, cries SCOTT, to prove you strive; + By G--d he never murder’d one, + For half are still alive. + +[1] BENARES, the MECCA of HINDOSTAN. + + + + +MINISTERIAL UNDOUBTED FACTS. + + + “_And whoever believeth not all this shall be damned._” + ST. ATHANASIUS. + +The Members of Opposition are all equally poor--YET _the poor ones +are wholly maintained by the rich_. + +Notwithstanding the above is their only support--YET _their only means +of living arises at the gaming table_. + +Though these poor dogs win so much money at BROOKES’s--YET _the +Members of_ BROOKES’s _are all equally indigent_. + +OPPOSITION cannot raise a shilling--YET _they maintain an army of +scribblers, merely to injure an immaculate Minister, whom it is not +in their power to hurt_. + +They are too contemptible and infamous to obtain a moment’s attention +from any gentleman or man of sense, and the people at large hold them +in general detestation--YET _the gentlemen and men of sense, who +conduct the Ministerial papers, are daily employed to attack these +infamous wretches, and in endeavouring to convince people who are +already all of one mind_. + +Their characters are so notorious that no person can be found to give +them credit for a shilling--YET _they are constantly running in debt +with their tradesmen_. + +They are obliged to sponge for a dinner, or else must go without--YET +_they indulge themselves in every species of debauchery and +dissipation_. + +Their prose is as devoid of argument as their verse is of wit--YET +_whole troops of ministerial writers are daily employed in answering +the one and criticising the other_. + +Their speeches are laughed at and despised by the whole nation--YET +_these laughable and despicable speeches were so artfully framed, as +alone to raise a clamour that destroyed the wisest of all possible +plans_, THE IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +They have traiterously raised a flame in IRELAND--YET _the_ IRISH _are +too enlightened to attend to the barkings of a degraded faction_. + +Their ROLLIADS and ODES are stark nonsense--YET _the sale has been so +extensive as to have new clothed the whole_ BLUE AND BUFF GANG. + +They are possessed of palaces purchased out of the public plunder--YET +_they have not a hole to hide their heads in_. + +The infernal arts of this accursed faction, and not his measures, +have rendered Mr. PITT unpopular--YET _is Mr_. PITT _much more popular +than ever_. + +In short, OPPOSITION are the most unpopular, _popular_; poor, _rich_; +artless, _artful_; incapable, _capable_; senseless, _sensible_; +neglectful, _industrious_; witless, _witty_; starving, _pampered_; +lazy, _indefatigable_; extravagant, _penurious_; bold, _timid_; +hypocritical, _unguarded_; set of designing, _blundering_; low-minded, +_high-minded_; dishonest, _honest_; knaves, as were ever honoured with +the notice of the MINISTERIAL NEWSPAPERS. + + + + +JOURNAL +OF THE +RIGHT HON. HENRY DUNDAS. + + +_October, 1787._ + +Told the Chairman the Company had long been in want of four regiments +of King’s forces--said it was the first he had heard of it--told him +he must require them as absolutely necessary for the safety of +India--the man appeared staggered; reminded me of my usual caution; +grumbled out something about recruits being cheaper; muttered that I +expected too much from him, and talked of preserving appearances.--Called +him a fool, and ordered him to do as he was bid. + +_October, November, December, January_.--Employed in disputes with +those damned fellows the Directors--would not have my regiments--told +them they must--swore they would not--believe the Chairman manages +very badly--threatened to provide transports, to carry out the troops +at the Company’s expence--found afterwards I had no right--ordered +PITT to bring in a Declaratory Bill! + +_February_ 25th.----Bill brought in--badly drawn--turn away RUSSEL, +and get another Attorney-General--could not make MULGRAVE speak--don’t +see what use he’s of. + +_March_ 3d.--Bill read a second time--Sheridan very troublesome--much +talk about the constitution--wish Pitt would not let people wander +so from the question. + +_March_ 5th.--Bill in a Committee--Members begin to smell +mischief--don’t like it--PITT took fright and shammed sick--was obliged +to speak myself--resolved to do it once for all--spoke four hours--so +have done my duty, and let PITT now get out of the scrape as well as he +can. + +_March_ 7th.--PITT moved to recommit the bill--talked about checks and +the constitution--believe he’s mad. Got into a damned scrape about +cotton--second time I’ve been detected--won’t speak any more.--N.B. +Not to let BARING come into the Direction again.--FOX spoke--PITT +could not answer him, and told the House he was too hoarse--forgot at +the time to disguise his voice. + +_March_ 9th.--Got THURLOW to dine with us at _Wimbledon_--gave him my +best Burgundy and Blasphemy, to put him into good humour.--After a +brace of bottles, ventured to drop a hint of business--THURLOW damned +me, and asked PITT for a sentiment--PITT looked foolish--GRENVILLE +wise--MULGRAVE stared--SYDNEY’s chin lengthened--tried the effects of +another bottle.--PITT began a long speech about the subject of our +meeting--SYDNEY fell asleep by the fire--MULGRAVE and GRENVILLE +retired to the old game of the board, and played push-pin for +ensigncies in the new corps--Grenville won three.--Mem.--To punish +their presumption, will not let either of them have one. + +THURLOW very queer.--He swore the bill is absurd, and my +correspondence with those cursed Directors damned stupid.--However, +will vote and speak with us--PITT quite sick of him--says he growls at +every thing, proposes nothing, and supports any thing. + +N.B. Must look about for a new Chancellor--Scott might do, but cants +too much about his independence and his conscience--what the devil +has he to do with independence and conscience--besides he has a +snivelling trick of retracting when he is caught in a lie--hate such +puling fellows--GEORGE HARDINGE not much better--must try him +tho’--will order him to speak on Wednesday. + +Took PITT to town in my chariot--drove to Berkeley-street--got PITT +to the door, but he would not come in--lounged an hour with +CHARLOTTE--promised her a company in one of the new regiments for a +disbanded private of the Horse Guards.--Why not order the whole House +to be qualified at DRUMMOND’s, and charge it to the Company’s secret +service? + +_March_ 10th.--Sent for TWINING--when he came, had by me a large bason +of his SOUCHONG--drank it without a wry face--the most nauseous black +draught I ever swallowed--swore it was excellent--quoted a sentence +from CICERO, which I got from PRETTYMAN for the occasion--promised to +put TWINING on my House-list next year, give him one of the Chairs, +and put the Tea-Trade under the Secret Committee--TWINING to procure +a requisition for a General Court--gave him hints for a speech--to +abuse Baring damnably. + +Called at WHITEHALL--took away the last letters from CORNWALLIS, that +PITT may not see them before they are _properly copied_ out by my +private Secretary.--Left orders for PITT and SYDNEY to follow me +to my house, where they would find my dispatches for India ready +for signing. + +_March_ 11th.--Dined with the Directors--almost too late; _London +Tavern_ not near enough.--Mem. to order the Directors in future always +to dine in my neighbourhood, and allow them to charge the additional +coach-hire to the Company--Why not buy a _long stage_ to carry them +about wherever I may want them? + +PITT frightened when we got into the City, lest the mob should +hiss--talked about _Grocers’ Hall_ and better times; asked me if I was +not glad they were going to pull down _Temple bar_, and hoped there +would be no further occasion for it. + +Tried to prevent his being melancholy--threw a shilling among the +blackguards--would not do--no huzzaing. N.B. Not to forget to make the +Chairman repay me, the money being disbursed in the Company’s service. + +Got to the LONDON TAVERN at six. Drew up my Commissioners in the +passage, and gave them their orders--told PITT to follow next to me, +and bid MULGRAVE speak in his upper voice, and be affable.--Tried to +laugh as we entered the room--MULGRAVE put us out by one of his +growling sighs--damn the fellow! must get rid of him.--Told DEVAYNES +to laugh for us all--did it well--make him Chairman next year. + +Dinner good--don’t see why we should not dine with them always.--N.B. +Ordered twelve dozen of their claret to be carried to +_Wimbledon_--LUSHINGTON grumbled, and asked by what authority I did +it.--A very troublesome fellow that--remove him. + +PITT peevish and out of spirits; ordered MOTTEUX to sing a song--began +“_Ah si vous pouviez comprendre._” PITT turned red, and thought +the Chairman alluded to some dark passages in the India Bill--endeavoured +to pacify him, and told the _Secret Committee_ to give us a soft air; +they sung in a low voice “_the cause I must not, dare not +tell_”--MANSHIP groaned, and drank Colonel CATHCART. By G--, if I +thought he meant to betray me, I’d indict him for perjury!--Somebody +struck up “_if you trust before you try._”--PITT asked if the +Directors wished to affront, him, and began a long harangue about his +regard and friendship for the Company;--_nine_ Directors offered to +swear for it--told them they need not--bowed, and thanked me. + +LE MESURIER begged our attention to a little French Air, “_Sous le nom +de l’amitié en finesse on abonde_”--cursed _mal-à-propos_. + +PITT swore he was insulted, and got up to go away. The Alderman, much +terrified at what he had done, protested solemnly he meant no offence, +and called God to witness, it was a very harmless song he learnt some +time ago in _Guernsey_--Could not appease PITT--so went away with him, +after ordering MULGRAVE not to let SYDNEY drink any more wine, for +fear he should begin talking. + +PITT desired the servants to put out the flambeaux, as we went through +the city--(a sad coward!) asked me if I did not think FOX’s a very +able speech--sighed, and said he had promised to answer it +to-morrow--wished however to do nothing in a hurry--expressed much +diffidence in his own abilities, and paid me many compliments--thought +I had a fine opportunity to shew my talents--assured me he should think +nothing of waving _his_ right to reply; and that he had not the least +objection to letting _me_ answer FOX--begged to decline the offer. +N.B. He seemed very uneasy and much frightened--never knew him +_diffident_ before--wish to-morrow was well over. + +Came home--opened a bottle of champaigne which I brought in the +carriage with me from the Directors’ dinner--looked over my list of +_levee_ men--found nine field officers yet unprovided for. Wrote to +ROSS, enclosing the copy of a letter to be sent to me from Lord +C----LL--S requiring more King’s troops--finished my bottle and +went to bed. + +_March_ 12.--Went to the levee--He looked surly--would hardly speak to +me--don’t like him--must have heard that I can govern INDIA without +consulting him.--Nothing ever escapes that _damned_ fellow SHERIDAN! + +Between four and five went to the House--worse than the levee--PITT +would not speak, pretended it was better to wait for FOX--put him in +mind of the excuse he made at the end of the last debate, and his +_promise_ to answer _calumnies_--don’t mind promises--a damned good +quality that--but ought to consider his friends--GEO. HARDINGE spoke +in consequence of my orders--forgot I was sitting below him--attacked +Lord NORTH’s administration--got into a cursed scrape with +POWIS--won’t do for CHANCELLOR--why not try BURGESS?--SCOTT defended +what he had said in the last debate--made it worse than ever--quoted +from DEBRETT’s debates--talked about an _adder_--thought he was +alluding to PITT--our lawyers somehow don’t answer--ADAM and +ANSTRUTHER worth them all--can’t they be bought?--_Scotchmen!_--damned +strange if they can’t--Mem. to tell ROSE to sound them. + +ADAM severe on me and the rest that have betrayed Lord NORTH--a +general confusion all round PITT--no one to defend us--VILLIERS +grinned--GRAHAM simpered--MULGRAVE growled--by G--d I believe PITT +enjoyed it--always pleased when his friends get into a scrape.--Mem. +to give him a lecture upon that--MULGRAVE spoke at last--wish he’d +held his tongue--SHERIDAN answered him--improves every day--wish we +had him----very odd so clever a fellow shouldn’t be able to see his +own interest--wouldn’t venture on a reply myself, for fear of another +lick from that clumsy boor Sir EDWARD ASTLEY--said my long speech was +dull and tiresome--what’s the matter with the fellow?--used to vote +with us--believe LANSDOWN’s got him.--Mem. to tell STEELE to look out +for another Member for the county of Norfolk. + +Jogged PITT--told him SHERIDAN’s speech _must_ be answered--said, _I_ +might do it then, for he _couldn’t_--PULTENEY relieved us a little, +pretending to be gull’d by the _checks_--too great nonsense to have +any effect on the House.--BASTARD forgot his last abuse of PITT, and +talked again about confidence; but was against the Bill--what’s +confidence without a vote?--came to a division at last--better than +the former--had whipped in well from SCOTLAND--the House seems +tired--hope we shan’t have much more of this. + +Mem. to give orders to MANNERS to make a noise, and let nobody speak +on third reading--a very useful fellow that MANNERS--does more good +sometimes than ten speakers. + +_March_ 14th. God’s infinite mercy be praised, AMEN! This is the last +day that infernal DECLARATORY BILL stays in the House of Commons--as +for the _Lords_--but that’s no business of mine; only poor +SYDNEY!--Well--God bless us all--AMEN! + +Got up and wrote the above, after a very restless night--went to bed +again--but could not sleep--troubled with the _blue devils_--thought I +saw POWIS--recovered myself a little, and fell into a slumber--Dreamt +I heard SHERIDAN speaking to me through the curtains--woke in a +fright, and jumped out of bed. + +Went down stairs--found some of the DIRECTORS waiting in the +hall--_damned their bloods_, and told them this was all their +doing--informed me a General Court was called by the enemy--bid them +make such a noise, that nobody might be heard--DEVAYNES undertook +it--ordered the SECRET COMMITTEE to stay, and sent the rest about +their business. + +After breakfast wrote to HAWK----Y, and begged his acceptance of a +_Lieut. Colonelcy, 2 Majorities, a Collectorship, 3 Shawls_ and a +piece of _India Muslin_ for the young ladies--sent back one of the +_Shawls_, and said he’d rather have another _Collector’s +place_--Damnation! but it must be so, or SYDNEY will be left to +himself.--N.B. Not to forget THURLOW’s _Arrack_ and _Gunpowder Tea_, +with the _India Crackers_ for his children. + +MULGRAVE called to know if I wanted him to speak to-day--told him +not--had enough of him last time. + +Went down to the House--ANSTRUTHER played the devil with all our +_checks_ and _guards_--serves us right for introducing such +nonsense--GEORGE NORTH asked when I meant to open my budget--said, +when the RAVENSWORTH arrives--pray God she be lost! Mem. When I do +open my budget, to state all the accounts in _Tales, Pagodas_, and +_Mohurs_--has a fine effect on the country gentlemen, and prevents +many impertinent observations. + +Waited very patiently for PITT’s _promised answer_ to FOX’s +_calumnies_ till eight o’clock--fresh inquiries about it every +minute--began to be very uneasy--saw OPPOSITION sneering--SHERIDAN +asked PITT if he was _hoarse_ yet--looked exceedingly foolish--pitied +him, and, by way of relieving his aukward situation, spoke myself--made +some of my boldest assertions--said a good thing about “_A Mare’s +Nest_”--coined a few clauses, which I assured the House were in Fox’s +Bill, and sat down with much applause--was afterwards unfortunately +detected in every thing I had said, and universally scouted by all +sides.--Mem. I should not have got into that scrape, if I had not +tried to help a friend in distress.--N.B. Never to do it again--there’s +nothing to be gained by it. + +As soon as I recovered myself, asked PITT whether he really meant to +answer FOX, or not--Owned at last, with tears in his eyes, he could +not muster courage enough to attempt it--sad work this!--N.B. Observed +GRENVILLE made a note, that a man need not be an orator, to be +_Chancellor of the Exchequer_--he seemed pleased with the precedent. + +Nothing left for it but to cry _question!_--divided--only 54 +majority--here’s a job! + +SHERIDAN read a cursed malicious paper, in which he proved PITT an +impostor: and that what FOX had openly demanded, the _Board of +Controul_ had secretly stolen.--Brother Commissioners all turned +pale--was obliged to rub their noses with _Thieves Vinegar_, and then +slunk out of the House as fast as I could.----N.B. Believe OLD +PEARSON’s a sneering son of a bitch--tried to whistle as I went +through the lobby--asked me if I was unwell--damn his impudence. + +Came home in a very melancholy mood--returned thanks in a short prayer +for our narrow escape--drank a glass of brandy--confessed my +sins--determined to reform, and sent to WILBERFORCE for a good book--a +very worthy and religious young man that--like him much--always votes +with us. + +Was beginning to grow very dejected, when ROSE called to inform me +of an excellent scheme about BANK STOCK--a snug thing, and not more +than twenty in the secret--raised my spirits again--told the servant +I would not trouble Mr. WILBERFORCE--ordered a bottle of best +burgundy--set to it with ROSE, hand to fist--congratulated one another +on having got the DECLARATORY BILL out of our House--and drank good +luck to SYDNEY, and a speedy progress through the Lords. + + + + +INCANTATION, + +FOR RAISING A PHANTOM, IMITATED FROM MACBETH, AND LATELY PERFORMED +BY HIS MAJESTY’S SERVANTS IN WESTMINSTER. + + +_Thunder. A Cauldron boiling. +Enter three Witches._ + + _First Witch_. Thrice the Doctors have been heard, + _Second Witch_. Thrice the Houses have conferred. + _Third Witch_. Thrice hath SYDNEY cock’d his chin, + JENKY cries--begin, begin. + _First Witch_. Round about the cauldron go. + In the fell ingredients throw. + Still-born Fœtus, born and bred, + In a Lawyer’s puzzled head, + Hatch’d by Metaphysic Scot, + Boil thou in the’ enchanted pot. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble; + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Second Witch_. Skull that holds the small remains + Of old CAMDEN’s addle brains; + Liver of the lily’s hue, + Which in RICHMOND’s carcase grew; + Tears which stealing down the cheek + Of the rugged THURLOW, speak + All the poignant grief he feels + For his Sovereign--or the Seals; + For a charm of powerful trouble, + Like a Hell-broth, boil and bubble. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Third Witch._ Clippings of Corinthian brass + From the visage of DUNDAS; + Forg’d Address, devis’d by Rose, + Half of PEPPER ARDEN’s nose; + Smuggled vote of City Thanks, + Promise of insidious BANKS; + Add a grain of ROLLO’s courage, + To enflame the hellish porridge. + _First Witch_. Cool it, with LLOYD KENTON’s blood. + Now the charm is firm and good. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + +_Enter_ HECATE, _Queen of the Witches._ + + _Hecate_. Oh! well done! I commend your pains, + And ev’ry one shall share i’th’ gains, + +_Cauldron sinks. Witches fly away upon broomsticks; thunder, &c._ + + + + +TRANSLATIONS + +OF LORD BELGRAVE’S MEMORABLE QUOTATIONS, AS INTRODUCED IN A SPEECH +DELIVERED BY HIS LORDSHIP IN A LATE DEBATE. + + +[_It is with singular satisfaction we communicate the following most +excellent versions of_ Lord BELGRAVE’s _never-to-be-forgotten +quotation; trusting, as we sincerely do, that so mark’d an attention +to his Lordship’s scholarship may considerably console him under his +melancholy failure as an orator._] + + Lord BELGRAVE’s Quotation. + + Τον δαπαμειβομενος προσεφη ποδας οκυς Αχιλλευς. + + Translation by Lord _Grosvenor_. + + His dam was Thetis, Æacus his Sire, + And for his paces he was nam’d Highflyer. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Achilles, who was quite a man of whim, + And also had a swift foot, answer’d him---- + + Another by Sir _Cecil Wray_. + + There was a man, Achilles he was call’d, } + He had two feet, they were so swift, he ball’d, } + Or otherwise, he mought, I say, have fall’d. } + + Another by Lord _Mornington_, and Lord _Graham_. + + With lightest heels oppos’d to heaviest head, + To Lord Atrides, Lord Achilles said---- + + Another by the _Chancellor_. + + To him Achilles, with a furious nod, + Replied, a very pretty speech, by G--d! + + Another by Mr. _Grenville_. + + The Grecian speaker rose with look so big, + It spoke his bottom and nigh burst his wig---- + + Another by _Brook Watson_. + + Up stood Achilles on his nimble pegs, + And said, “May I _pree-seume_ to shew my legs?” + + Another by Mr. _Wilberforce_. + + Achilles came forward to snivel and rant; + His spirit was spleen and his piety cant. + + Another by Mr. _Pitt_. + + Frantic with rage, uprose the fierce Achilles: + “How comfortably calm!” said Nestor Willis---- + + Translation by Sir _John Scott_. + + With metaphysic art his speech he plann’d, + And said what nobody could understand. + + Another by Mr. _Bastard_. + + The Trojan I oppose, he said, ’tis true, + But I abuse and hate Atrides too. + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Enrag’d Achilles never would agree, + A “petty vote,” a “menial slave,” was he. + + Another by Mons. Alderman _Le Mesurier_. + + By gar, Achille he say, I make a you + Parler anoder launguage, _ventre bleu!_ + + Another by Lord _Westcote_. + + Pliant and prompt in crane-neck curves to wheel, + Achilles rose, and _turn’d_ upon his heel. + + Another by Mr. _Wilbraham Beetle_. + + In oily terms he urg’d the chiefs to peace, + For none was more a friend than he to Grease. + + Another by Lord _Bayham_. + + His conscious hat well lin’d with borrow’d prose, + The lubber chief in sulky mien arose; + Elate with pride his long pent silence broke, + And could he but have _read_, he might have spoke. + + Another by Mr. _Dundas_. + + Up the bra’ chield arose, and weel I wis } + To beath sides booing, begg’d ’em to dismiss } + Their wordy warfare in “a general _peece_.”[1] } + + Another by Mr. _York_. + + This windy war, he swore, he could not hear; + So eas’d his troubles by “a stream of _air!_[2]” + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Achilles swore he felt by no means hurt, + At putting on great Agamemnon’s shirt; + He priz’d the honour, never grudg’d the trouble, + And only wish’d the profit had been double. + + Another by Lord _Winchelsea_. + + With formal mien, and visage most forlorn, + The courtly hero _spoke_ his _silent_ scorn. + + Another by Lord _Sydney_. + + The chief, unknowing how he shou’d begin, } + First darts around, the’ opposing ranks to thin, } + The lightnings of his eye, and terrors of his chin. } + + Another by Mr. _Brandling_. + + Achilles rose, and said, without the least offence, + The dog has neither courage, worth, nor sense. + + Another by Lord _Belgrave_. + + Huic, ceu Pititius ipse, cito respondit Achilles, + Namque (ut ego) Græceque seirens erat, & pede velox. + + Another by the _Twelve Lords of the Bedchamber_, in a passion. + + Frantic with desperate rage, Achilles roar’d-- + I beg ten thousand pardons, my dear Lord. + + Another by _Eighteen Bishops_, quite cool. + + Now’t came to pass the Lord Achilles saith, + Hecate and Furies, Tartarus and Death. + + Another by Lord _Howe_. + + Hawling his wind abaft Atrides’ wake, + The copper-bottom’d son of Peleus spake. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Had great Achilles stood but half as quiet, + He had been by Xanthus drench’d as I by Wyatt. + +[1] It is impossible for the reader to comprehend the full force of +this expression, unless he recollect the wonderful effects it produced +in the House of Commons from Mr. Dundas’s peculiar dialect, upon that +memorable occasion, when that great _diuretic_ orator, expatiating on +Oriental tranquillity, assured the House, that “at that moment all +India was _peece_--Bengal was at _peece_--Tippo sultan was at +_peece_--The Mahrattas were at _peece_--Every creature in Indostan, he +knew it for a _fawct, was comfortably at peece!!!_” + +[2] However sympathetic in politics, it is evident that the two last +of these translators are at variance in philosophy--the former relying +on the _hydraulic_ system---the latter on the _pneumatic_. + + +FINIS. + + + + +Transcriber’s notes: + +§ Footnotes and imitations, which were originally placed at the +bottoms of the pages on which they were referenced, have been gathered +at the end of each chapter. + +§ The original footnote pointers (asterisks, obelisks, etc.) have been +replaced by Arabic numerals. + +§ All ligatures present in the original text have been resolved except +æ and œ. + +§ Opening quotes in long quotations have been removed, except on the +first line. + +§ Greek sigma-tau and omicron-upsilon ligatures have been split into +their components. + +§ All variants of Greek letters have be replaced by their basic form. +This applies to Beta without descender, long Tau, Omega Pi, +open Theta, open Phi. + +§ Archaic spelling has been retained. If in doubt, no correction has +been made. For example, the following have not been corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 308 : babes and suckling’s mouths : babes and sucklings’ mouths + 327 : And junto’s speak : And juntos speak + 422 : independant : independent + +§ Spellings, of which it is assumed that they were not intended by +the authors, have been put right. These corrections were only made +after consulting earlier and/or later editions of the Rolliad. + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + iv : Delavalid : Delavaliad + 36 : feeedom : freedom + 84 : AHPION’s lyre : AMPHION’s lyre + 84 : postion : position + 126 : chip : ship + 135 : witticism of of his Grace : witticism of his Grace + 144 : The’ Athenian sages : Th’ Athenian sages + 168 : depe n d ants : dependants + 171 : sigh of love : sight of love + 172 : vi on : vision + 179 : chatised : chastised + 191 : neu te paeniteat calamo : nec te paeniteat calamo + 192 : Ex dixit moriens : Et dixit moriens + 192 : sparsis etiamnunc pellibus : sparsis etiam nunc pellibus + 200 : St. Sephen : St. Stephen + 213 : Ægie : Ægle + 229 : pecimens : specimens + 229 : Versificators Crononæ : Versificators Coronæ + 304 : insruct me : instruct me + 308 : in worthy strain sbe sung : in worthy strains be sung + 316 : his mouth his opes : his mouth he opes + 351 : antistrope : antistrophe + 358 : sacred patern : sacred pattern + 440 : PRETEYMAN : PRETTYMAN + 507 : what the devil has he do : what the devil has he to do + +§ In the content of the original, subsequent odes were listed as +‘Ditto’, and at the start of a new page as ‘Ode’. This was considered +unnecessary in an e-text. On page iv of the contents, ‘Ode’ has +therefore been replaced by ‘Ditto’. + +§ In the eclogue on Jekyll every fifth line is numbered. However, +lines 20, 25 and 35 were too long to accommodate these numbers in +the original. Instead, lines 21, 26 and 36 received a number. In +this e-text, the numbering has been put on 20, 25, and 35. + +§ Similarly, in the eclogue on Nicholson the line number 105 did not +fit on the line. For that reason, line 106 bears the line number. + +§ In the eclogue on Jenkinson, line number 25 is placed on line 26. +This has been corrected in this e-text. + +§ The last word on page 349 and the first word on page 350 are both +‘that’. One has been eliminated. + +§ The following typographical errors relating to punctuation have been +corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 224 : ” “ : “ + 240 : Sir Joseph : “Sir Joseph + 442 : will seem true! : will seem true!” + 443 : by outlying, : by outlying. + +§ One poem, set in a blackletter script, has been marked like so: + +[Blackletter: + ... + ...] + +§ One couplet was struck through and has been marked like so: + +[Struck-through: + ... + ...] + +§ The original uses curly brackets that span over several lines to +indicate repetition. 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Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For forty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/39726-0.zip b/39726-0.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3580f37 --- /dev/null +++ b/39726-0.zip diff --git a/39726-8.txt b/39726-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7b31a76 --- /dev/null +++ b/39726-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,14466 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rolliad, in Two Parts, by +Joseph Richardson and George Ellis and Richard Tickell and French Laurence + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Rolliad, in Two Parts + Probationary Odes for the Laureatship & Political Eclogues + +Author: Joseph Richardson + George Ellis + Richard Tickell + French Laurence + +Release Date: May 19, 2012 [EBook #39726] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROLLIAD, IN TWO PARTS *** + + + + +Produced by Steffen Haugk + + + + +THE ROLLIAD, +IN TWO PARTS; +PROBATIONARY ODES +FOR THE +_LAUREATSHIP_; +AND POLITICAL ECLOGUES: +WITH +CRITICISMS AND ILLUSTRATIONS. +REVISED, CORRECTED AND ENLARGED BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHORS. + + * * * * * + +THE TWENTY-FIRST EDITION. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON:_ +PRINTED FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S SQUARE. + + * * * * * + +1799 + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + Criticisms on the Rolliad. Part the First + Ditto. Part the Second + + POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + The Rose + The Lyars + Margaret Nicholson + Charles Jenkinson + Jekyll + + PROBATIONARY ODES. + Preliminary Discourse + Thoughts on Ode Writing + Recommendatory Testimonies + Account of Mr. Warton's Ascension + Laureat Election + ODE, by Sir C. Wray, Bart. + Ditto, by Lord Mulgrave + Ditto, by Sir Joseph Mawbey, Bart. + Ditto, by Sir Richard Hill, Bart. + Ditto, by Mr. Macpherson + Ditto, by Mr. Mason + Ditto, by the Attorney-General + Ditto, by N. W. Wraxhall, Esq. + Ditto, by Sir G. P. Turner, Bart. + Ditto, by M. A. Taylor, Esq. + Ditto, by Major John Scott, M. P. + Ditto, by Henry Dundas, Esq. + Ditto, by Dr. Joseph Warton + Ditto, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Lord Thurlow + Ditto, by Dr. Prettyman + Ditto, by the Marquis of Graham + Second ODE, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Sir George Howard, K. B. + Ditto, by Abp. Markham + Official Ode, by the Rev. Thomas Warton + Proclamation, &c. + Table of Instructions + + POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + Address to the Public + Ode extraordinary, by the Rev. W. Mason + The Statesman, an Eclogue + Rondeaus + Epigrams on the Immaculate Boy + The Delavaliad + This is the House that George built + Epigrams by Sir Cecil Wray + Lord Graham's Diary + Extracts from Second Volume of Lord Mulgrave's Essays on Eloquence + Anecdotes of Mr. Pitt + Letter from a new Member to his Friend in the Country + The Political Receipt Book + Hints from Dr. Prettyman to the Premier's Porter + A Tale + Dialogue between a certain Personage and his Minister + Prettymaniana.--Epigrams on the Rev. Dr. P--------'s Duplicity + ------Foreign Epigrams + Advertisement Extraordinary + Vive le Scrutiny; Cross Gospel the First + ----------------- Cross Gospel the Second + Paragraph Office, Ivy-lane.--Proclamation + Pitt and Pinetti, a Parallel + New Abstract from the Budget + Theatrical Intelligence extraordinary + The Westminster Guide, Part I. + ---------------------- Part II. + Inscription, to the Memory of the late Marquis of Rockingham + Epigrams on one Pigot + Billy Eden, or the Renegado Scout, a Ballad + Epigrams on Sir Elijah Impey refusing to resign his gown as + Chief Justice of Bengal + Proclamation + Original Letter + A Congratulatory Ode + Ode to Sir Elijah Impey + Song + Master Billy's Budget.--A new Song + Epigrams + Ministerial undoubted Facts + Journal of the Right Hon. Henry Dundas + Incantation + Translations of Lord Belgrave's memorable quotation + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FOURTH EDITION. + + +Three very large impressions of the following work being already sold, +and the demand for it daily increasing, it is now a fourth time +submitted to the Public, revised and corrected from the many literal +errors, which, with every precaution, will too often deform a first +edition; especially when circumstances render an early publication +necessary. + + * * * * * + +In the present edition some few alterations have been made, but +none of any considerable magnitude; except that the Appendix of +Miscellaneous Pieces is here suppressed. This has been done, in some +degree, for the conveniency of binding this first part of the +CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD with the second; but more, indeed, in +consequence of a design, which we at present entertain, of printing +most of those pieces with other productions of the same Authors in +one octavo volume, under the title of POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +As the bulk and matter of the book are thus diminished, the price also +is proportionally reduced. Where the CRITICISMS seem to require any +elucidation from the contents of the former Appendix, extracts are +now given at the bottom of the page instead of the references in our +former Editions. + + * * * * * + +This slight change we flatter ourselves will not be disapproved by +the Public; and we hope, that they will not receive with a less degree +of favour the intimation here given of the Miscellaneous Volume, which +will probably be published in the course of the ensuing winter. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT. + + +The CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD, in their original form, excited such +a general curiosity, that three spurious editions have already been +sold, independently of their publication in various of the Daily +Papers, and Monthly Magazines. Such a marked testimony in their +favour, cannot but be peculiarly flattering to us. We therefore +thought it incumbent on us in return, to exert our utmost endeavours +in rendering them, as far as our judgment will direct us, yet more +worthy of that attention with which they have been honoured, imperfect +as they fell from us, through a channel, that did not seem necessarily +to demand any very great degree of precision. + +In the present edition some few passages have been expunged; others +softened; many enlarged; more corrected; and two whole numbers, with +the greater part of a third, are altogether new. A poeticoprosaical +Dedication to SIR LLOYD KENYON, now Lord Chief Justice of the +Court of King's Bench, has also been added; and an Appendix is now +given, consisting of Miscellaneous Pieces, to which the Criticisms +incidentally refer. + + * * * * * + +It may perhaps give offence to some very chastized judgments, that in +this our authentic edition, we have subjoined notes on a professed +commentary. Some short explanations, however, appeared occasionally +necessary, more especially as the subjects of Political Wit in their +very nature are fugitive and evanescent. We only fear that our +illustrations have not been sufficiently frequent, as we have +privately been asked to what "Mr. Hardinge's Arithmetic" in the +Dedication alluded; so little impression was made on the public by +the learned Gentleman's elaborate calculation of the Orations spoken, +and the time expended in the discussion of the Westminster Scrutiny! +Indeed, we have known persons even ignorant that Sir Lloyd Kenyon +voted for his stables. + +This Edition has further been ornamented with a Tree of the Genealogy, +and the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES; for an +explanation of which we beg leave to refer the reader to page xiii. +The Genealogy is likewise given at full length from the Morning +Herald, where it was originally published, and was probably the +foundation of the ROLLIAD. It is therefore inserted in its proper +place, before the first extract from the Dedication to the Poem, which +immediately preceded the first Numbers of the CRITICISMS. + + + + +EXPLANATION OF THE FRONTISPIECE AND TITLE-PAGE. + + +The FRONTISPIECE represents Duke ROLLO, with his Sword and Ducal +Coronet lying by his side. It is supposed to be a striking likeness, +and was copied from a painting in the Window of a Church at Rouen +in Normandy. From this illustrious Warrior springs a Tree of the +Genealogy of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES. The most eminent of this great +Family alone are noticed. The particulars of their history may be +found in page xxix and xxx. +[Transcriber's note: Refers to + 'Short Account of the Family of the Rollos'] + + * * * * * + +The TITLE-PAGE exhibits the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the Family. +The Arms are, Three French Rolls, Or, between two Rolls of Parchment, +Proper, placed in form of a Cheveron on a Field Argent--The Motto is +_Jouez bien votre Rle_, or, as we have sometimes seen it +spelt--_Rolle_. The Crest, which has been lately changed by the present +Mr. ROLLE, is a half-length of the Master of the Rolls, like a Lion +demi-rampant with a Roll of Parchment instead of a Pheon's Head +between his Paws. + + + + +DEDICATION. +To Sir Lloyd Kenyan, Bart. +MASTER OF THE ROLLS, &c. &c. + + +MAY IT PLEASE YOUR HONOUR, + +It was originally my intention to have dedicated the CRITICISMS on +the ROLLIAD, as the ROLLIAD itself is dedicated, to the illustrious +character, from whose hereditary name the Poem derives its title; +and[1], as I some time since apprized the public, I had actually +obtained his permission to lay this little work at his feet. No +sooner, however, was he made acquainted with my after-thought of +inscribing my book to your honour, but, with the liberality, which +ever marks a great mind, he wrote to me of his own accord, declaring +his compleat acquiescence in the propriety of the alteration. For if +I may take the liberty of transcribing his own ingenuous and modest +expression, "I am myself," said he, "but _a simple Rolle_; SIR LLOYD +KENYON _is a Master of Rolls_." + + Great ROLLO's heir, whose cough, whose laugh, whose groan, + The' Antus EDMUND has so oft o'erthrown: + Whose cry of "question" silenc'd CHARLES's sense; + That cry, more powerful than PITT's eloquence; + Ev'n he, thus high in glory, as in birth, + Yields willing way to thy superior worth. + +Indeed, if I had not been so happy as to receive this express sanction +of Mr. ROLLE's concurrence, I should nevertheless have thought myself +justified in presuming it, from the very distinguished testimony which +he has lately borne to your merits, by taking a demi-rampant of YOUR +HONOUR for his crest; a circumstance, in my opinion, so highly +complimentary to your honour, that I was studious to have it as +extensively known as possible. I have therefore given directions to +my Publisher, to exhibit your portrait, with the ROLLE ARMS, and +Motto, by way of Vignette in the Title Page; that displayed, as I +trust it will be, at the Window of every Bookseller in Great-Britain, +it may thus attract the admiration of the most incurious, as they pass +along the streets. This solicitude, to diffuse the knowledge of your +person, as widely as your fame, may possibly occasion some little +distress to your modesty; yet permit me to hope, SIR LLOYD, that the +motive will plead my pardon; and, perhaps, even win the approbation of +your smile; if you can be supposed to smile without offence to the +gravity of that nature, which seems from your very birth to have +marked you for a Judge. + + Behold the' Engraver's mimic labours trace + The sober image of that sapient face: + See him, in each peculiar charm exact, + Below dilate it, and above contract; + For Nature thus, inverting her design, + From vulgar ovals hath distinguish'd thine: + See him each nicer character supply, + The pert no-meaning puckering round the eye, + The mouth in plaits precise demurely clos'd, + Each order'd feature, and each line compos'd, + Where Wisdom sits a-squat, in starch disguise, + Like Dulness couch'd, to catch us by surprise. + And now he spreads around thy pomp of wig, + In owl-like pride of legal honour's big; + That wig, which once of curl on curl profuse, + In well-kept buckle stiff, and smugly spruce, + Deck'd the plain Pleader; then in nobler taste, + With well-frizz'd bush the' Attorney-General grac'd; + And widely waving now with ampler flow, + Still with thy titles and thy fame shall grow, + Behold, SIR LLOYD, and while with fond delight + The dear resemblance feasts thy partial sight, + Smile, if thou canst; and, smiling on this book, + Cast the glad omen of one favouring look. + +But it is on public grounds, that I principally wish to vindicate my +choice of YOUR HONOUR for my Patron. The ROLLIAD, I have reason +to believe, owed its existence to the [2] memorable speech of the +Member of Devonshire on the first Discussion of the Westminster +Scrutiny, when he so emphatically proved himself the genuine +descendant of DUKE ROLLO; and in the noble contempt which he avowed, +for the boasted rights of Electors, seemed to breathe the very soul +of his great progenitor, who came to extirpate the liberties of +Englishmen with the sword. It must be remembered, however, that +Your Honour ministered the occasion to his glory. You, SIR LLOYD, +have ever been reputed the immediate Author of the Scrutiny. Your +opinion is said to have been privately consulted on the framing of +the Return; and your public defence of the High-Bailiff's proceeding, +notoriously furnished MR. ROLLO, and the other friends of the +Minister, with all the little argument, which they advanced against +the objected exigency of the Writ. You taught them to reverence that +holy thing, the Conscience of a Returning Officer, above all Law, +Precedent, Analogy, Public Expediency, and the popular Right of +Representation, to which our Forefathers erroneously paid religious +respect, as to the most sacred franchise of our Constitution. You +prevailed on them to manifest an impartiality singularly honourable; +and to prefer the sanctity of this single Conscience, to a round dozen +of the most immaculate consciences, chosen in the purest possible +manner from their own _pure House of Commons_. + + Thine is the glorious measure; thine alone: + Thee father of the Scrutiny, we own. + Ah! without thee what treasures had we lost, + More worth than twenty Scrutinies would cost! + To' instruct the Vestry, and convince the House, + What Law from MURPHY! what plain sense from ROUS! + What wit from MULGRAVE! from DUNDAS, what truth! + What perfect virtue from the VIRTUOUS YOUTH! + What deep research from ARDEN the profound! + What argument from BEARCROFT ever sound! + By MUNCASTER, what generous offers made; + By HARDINGE, what arithmetic display'd! + And, oh! what rhetoric, from MAHON that broke + In printed speeches, which he never spoke! + Ah! without thee, what worth neglected long, + Had wanted still its dearest meed of song! + In vain high-blooded ROLLE, unknown to fame, + Had boasted still the honours of his name: + In vain had exercis'd his noble spleen + On BURKE and FOX--the ROLLIAD had not been. + +But, alas! SIR LLOYD, at the very moment, while I am writing, +intelligence has reached me, that the Scrutiny is at an end. Your +favourite measure is no more. The child of your affection has met +a sudden and a violent fate. I trust, however, that "the Ghost of +the departed Scrutiny" (in the bold but beautiful language of MR. +DUNDAS) will yet haunt the spot, where it was brought forth, where +it was fostered, and where it fell. Like the Ghost of Hamlet it shall +be a perturbed spirit, though it may not come in a questionable shape. +It shall fleet before the eyes of those to whom it was dear, +to admonish them, how they rush into future dangers; to make known +the secret of its private hoards; or to confess to them the sins of +its former days, and to implore their piety, that they would give +peace to its shade, by making just reparation. Perhaps too, it may +sometimes visit the murderer, like the ghost of Banquo, to dash his +joys. It cannot indeed rise up in its proper form to push him from +his seat, yet it may assume some other formidable appearance to be +his eternal tormentor. These, however, are but visionary consolations, +while every loyal bosom must feel substantial affliction from the late +iniquitous vote, tyrannically compelling the High-Bailiff to make a +return after an enquiry of nine months only; especially when you had +so lately armed him with all power necessary to make his enquiry +effectual. + + [3] Ah! how shall I the' unrighteous vote bewail? + Again corrupt Majorities prevail. + Poor CORBETT's Conscience, tho' a little loth, + Must blindly gape, and gulp the' untasted oath; + If he, whose conscience never felt a qualm, + If GROGAN fail the good man's doubts to calm. + No more shall MORGAN, for his six months' hire, + Contend, that FOX should share the' expence of fire; + Whole Sessions shall he _croak_, nor bear away + The price, that paid the silence of a day: + No more, till COLLICK some new story hatch, + Long-winded ROUS for hours shall praise Dispatch; + COLLICK to Whigs and Warrants back shall slink, + And ROUS, a Pamphleteer, re-plunge in ink: + MURPHY again French Comedies shall steal, + Call them his own, and garble, to conceal; + Or, pilfering still, and patching without grace + His thread-bare shreds of Virgil out of place, + With Dress and Scenery, Attitude and Trick, + Swords, Daggers, Shouts, and Trumpets in the nick, + With Ahs! and Ohs! Starts, Pauses, Rant, and Rage, + Give a new GRECIAN DAUGHTER to the stage: + But, Oh, SIR CECIL!--Fled to shades again + From the proud roofs, which here he raised in vain, + He seeks, unhappy! with the Muse to cheer + His rising griefs, or drown them in small-beer! + Alas! the Muse capricious flies the hour + When most we need her, and the beer is sour: + Mean time Fox thunders faction uncontroul'd, + Crown'd with fresh laurels, from new triumphs bold. + +These general evils arising from the termination of the Scrutiny, +YOUR HONOUR, I doubt not, will sincerely lament in common with all +true lovers of their King and Country. But in addition to these, you, +SIR LLOYD, have particular cause to regret, that [4] "the last hair in +this tail of procrastination" is plucked. I well know, what eager +anxiety you felt to establish the suffrage, which you gave, as the +delegate of your Coach-horses: and I unaffectedly condole with you, +that you have lost this great opportunity of displaying your +unfathomable knowledge and irresistible logic to the confusion of +your enemies. How learnedly would you have quoted the memorable +instance of Darius, who was elected King of Persia by the casting +vote of his Horse! Though indeed the merits of that election have been +since impeached, not from any alledged illegality of the vote itself, +if it had been fairly given; but because some jockeyship has been +suspected, and the voter, it has been said, was bribed the night +before the election! How ably too would you have applied the case +of Caligula's horse, who was chosen Consul of Rome! For if he was +capable of being elected (you would have said) _ fortiori_, there +could have been no natural impediment to his being an elector; since +_omne majus continet in se minus_, and the trust is certainly greater +to fill the first offices of the state, than to have one share among +many in appointing to them. Neither can I suppose that you would have +omitted so grave and weighty an authority as Captain Gulliver, who, +in the course of his voyages, discovered a country, where Horses +discharged every Duty of Political Society. You might then have passed +to the early history of our own island, and have expatiated on the +known veneration in which horses were held by our Saxon Ancestors; +who, by the way, are supposed also to have been the founders +of Parliaments. You might have touched on their famous standard; +digressed to the antiquities of the White Horse, in Berkshire, and +other similar monuments in different counties; and from thence have +urged the improbability, that when they instituted elections, they +should have neglected the rights of an animal, thus highly esteemed +and almost sanctified among them. I am afraid indeed, that with all +your Religion and Loyalty, you could not have made much use of the +White Horse of Death, or the White Horse of Hanover. But, for a +_bonne bouche_, how beautifully might you have introduced your +favourite maxim of _ubi ratio, ibi jus!_ and to prove the reason of +the thing, how convincingly might you have descanted, in an elegant +panegyric on the virtues and abilities of horses, from Xanthus the +Grecian Conjuring Horse, whose prophecies are celebrated by Homer, +down to the Learned Little Horse over Westminster Bridge! with whom +you might have concluded, lamenting that, as he is not an Elector, +the Vestry could not have the assistance of one, capable of doing +so much more justice to the question than yourself!--Pardon me, +SIR LLOYD, that I have thus attempted to follow the supposed course +of your oratory. I feel it to be truly inimitable. Yet such was the +impression made on my mind by some of YOUR HONOUR's late reasonings +respecting the Scrutiny, that I could not withstand the involuntary +impulse of endeavouring, for my own improvement, to attain some faint +likeness of that wonderful pertinency and cogency, which I so much +admired in the great original. + + How shall the neighing kind thy deeds requite, + Great YAHOO Champion of the HOUYHNHNM's right? + In grateful memory may thy dock-tail pair, + Unarm'd convey thee with sure-footed care. + Oh! may they, gently pacing o'er the stones, + With no rude shock annoy thy batter'd bones, + Crush thy judicial cauliflow'r, and down + Shower the mix'd lard and powder o'er thy gown; + Or in unseemly wrinkles crease that band, + Fair work of fairer LADY KENYON's hand. + No!--May the pious brutes, with measur'd swing, + Assist the friendly motion of the spring, + While golden dreams of perquisites and fees + Employ thee, slumbering o'er thine own decrees. + But when a Statesman in St. Stephen's walls + Thy Country claims thee, and the Treasury calls, + To pour thy splendid bile in bitter tide + On hardened sinners who with Fox divide, + Then may they, rattling on in jumbling trot, + With rage and jolting make thee doubly hot, + Fire thy Welch blood, enflamed with zeal and leeks, + And kindle the red terrors of thy cheeks, + Till all thy gather'd wrath in furious fit + On RIGBY bursts--unless he votes with PITT. + +I might here, SIR LLOYD, launch into a new panegyric on the subject +of this concluding couplet. But in this I shall imitate your +moderation, who, for reasons best known to yourself, have long +abandoned to MR ROLLE[5] "those loud and repeated calls on notorious +defaulters, which will never be forgiven by certain patriots." +Besides, I consider your public-spirited behaviour in the late +Election and Scrutiny for Westminster, as the great monument of your +fame to all posterity. I have, therefore, dwelt on this--more +especially as it was immediately connected with the origin of the +ROLLIAD--till my dedication has run to such a length, that I cannot +think of detaining your valuable time any longer; unless merely to +request your HONOUR's zealous protection of a work which may be in +some sort attributed to you, as its ultimate cause, which is +embellished with your portrait, and which now records in this address, +the most brilliant exploit of your political glory. + + Choak'd by _a Roll_, 'tis said, that OTWAY died; + OTWAY the Tragic Muse's tender pride. + Oh! may my ROLLE to me, thus favour'd, give + A better fate;--that I may eat, and live! + + I am, YOUR HONOUR's + Most obedient, + Most respectful, + Most devoted, humble servant, + THE EDITOR. + + +[1] In a postscript originally subjoined to the eighth Number. + +[2] Mr. Rolle said, "he could not be kept all the summer debating +about the rights of the Westminster electors. His private concerns +were of more importance to him; than his right as a Westminster +Elector." + +[3] I shall give the Reader in one continued note, what information +I think necessary for understanding these verses. During the six +months that the Scrutiny continued in St. Martin's, the most +distinguished exhibition of Mr. Morgan's talents was the maintenance +of an argument, that Mr. Fox ought to pay half the expence of fire +in the room where the Witnesses attended. The learned Gentleman is +familiarly called _Frog_, to which I presume the Author alludes in +the word _croak_. Mr. Rous spoke two hours to recommend Expedition. +At the time the late Parliament was dissolved, he wrote two Pamphlets +in favour of the Ministry. I have forgot the titles of these +pamphlets, as probably the reader has too, if he ever knew them. +However, I can assure him of the fact.--Mr. Collick, the +Witness-General of Sir Cecil Wray, is a Hair-Merchant and Justice +of Peace. Sir Cecil's taste both for Poetry and Small-beer are well +known, as is the present unfinished state of his newly-fronted house in +Pall-Mall. + +[4] "This appears to be the last hair in the tail of procrastination" +The Master of the Rolls, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker. See Lord Mulg. Essays on Eloquence, Vol. II. + +[5] Mr. Ridgway tells me, he thinks there is something like these +words in one of the Reviews, where the ROLLIAD is criticised. + + + + +SHORT ACCOUNT +OF THE FAMILY OF THE +ROLLOS, _now_ ROLLES, +FAITHFULLY EXTRACTED FROM THE +RECORDS OF THE HERALD'S OFFICE. + + +JOHN ROLLE, Esq. is descended from the ancient Duke ROLLO, of +Normandy; ROLLO passed over into Britain, anno 983, where he soon +begat another ROLLO, upon the wife of a Saxon drummer. Our young ROLLO +was distinguished by his gigantic stature, and, as we learn from +ODERICUS VITALIS, was slain by Hildebrand, the Danish Champion, +in a fit of jealousy. We find in Camden, that the race of the ROLLOS +fell into adversity in the reign of Stephen, and in the succeeding +reign, GASPAR DE ROLLO was an Ostler in Denbighshire.--But during +the unhappy contests of York and Lancaster, William de Wyrcester, +and the continuator of the annals of Croyland, have it, that the +ROLLOS became Scheriffes of Devon. "_Scheriffi Devonienses_ ROLLI +_fuerunt_"--and in another passage, "_arrestaverunt Debitores plurime_ +ROLLORUM"--hence a doubt in Fabian, whether this ROLLO was not +Bailiff, _ipse potius quam Scheriffus_. From this period, however, +they gradually advanced in circumstances; ROLLO, in Henry the VIIIth, +being amerced in 800 marks for pilfering two manchetts of beef from +the King's buttery, the which, saith Selden, _facillime payavit_. + +In 7th and 8th of Phil. and Mar. three ROLLOS indeed were gibetted for +piracy, and from that date the family changed the final O of the name +into an E. In the latter annals of the ROLLOS now ROLLES, but little +of consequence is handed down to us. We have it that TIMOTHY ROLLE +of Plympton, in the 8th of Queen Anne, endowed three alms-houses +in said town. JEREMIAH his second son was counted the fattest man of +his day, and DOROTHEA ROLLE his third cousin died of a terrible +dysentery. From this period the ROLLES have burst upon public notice, +with such a blaze of splendour, as renders all further accounts of +this illustrious race entirely unnecessary. + + + + +EXTRACT FROM THE DEDICATION +OF THE +ROLLIAD. +AN +_EPIC POEM_, +IN +TWELVE BOOKS. + + + When Norman ROLLO sought fair Albion's coast, + (Long may his offspring prove their country's boast!) + Thy genius, Britain, sure inspir'd his soul + To bless this Island with the race of ROLLE! + Illustrious ROLLE! O may thy honour'd name + _Roll_ down distinguish'd on the _Rolls_ of fame! + Still first be found on Devon's county polls! + Still future Senates boast their future ROLLES! + Since of all _Rolls_ which in this world we see, + The world has ne'er produc'd a _Roll_ like thee. + Hot _Rolls_ and butter break the Briton's fast, + Thy speeches yield a more sublime repast. + Compar'd to thine, how small their boasted heat! + Nor, mix'd with treacle, are they half so sweet. + O'er _Rolls_ of parchment Antiquarians pore, + Thy mind, O ROLLE, affords a richer store. + Let those on law or history who write, + To Rolls of Parliament resort for light, + Whilst o'er our Senate, from our living ROLLE, + Beam the bright rays of an enlightened soul; + In wonder lost, we slight their useless stuff, + And feel one ROLLE of Parliament enough. + The skill'd musician to direct his band, + Waves high a Roll of paper in his hand; + When PITT would drown the eloquence of BURKE, + You seem the ROLLE best suited to his work; + His well-train'd band, obedient know their cue, + And cough and groan in unison with you. + Thy god-like ancestor, in valour tried, + Still bravely fought by conqu'ring WILLIAM's side: + In British blood he drench'd his purple sword, + Proud to partake the triumphs of his lord: + So you, with zeal, support through each debate, + The conqu'ring WILLIAM of a latter date: + Whene'er he speaks, attentive still to chear + The lofty nothing with a friendly "hear," + And proud your leader's glory to promote, + Partake his triumph in a faithful vote. + Ah! sure while Coronets like hailstones fly, + When Peers are made, the Gods alone know why, + Thy hero's gratitude, O ROLLE, to thee, + A ducal diadem might well decree; + Great ROLLO's title to thy house restore, + Let E usurp the place of O no more, } + Then ROLLE himself should be what ROLLO was before. } + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + + "Cedite Romani Scriptores, cedite Grci." + +Nothing can be more consonant to the advice of Horace and Aristotle, +than the conduct of our author throughout this Poem. The action is +one, entire and great event, being the procreation of a child on the +wife of a Saxon Drummer. The Poem opens with a most laboured and +masterly description of a storm. ROLLO's state of mind in this arduous +situation is finely painted: + + Now ROLLO storms more loudly than the wind, + Now doubts and black despair perplex his mind; + Hopeless to see his vessel safely harbour'd, + He hardly knows his starboard for his larboard! + +That a hero in distress should not know his right hand from his left, +is most natural and affecting; in other hands, indeed, it would not +have appeared sufficiently poetical, but the technical expressions +of our author convey the idea in all the blaze of metaphor. The storm +at length subsides, and ROLLO is safely landed on the coast of Sussex. +His first exploit, like that of neas, is deer-stealing. He then sets +out in the disguise of a Sussex Smuggler, to obtain intelligence of +the country and its inhabitants: + + Wrapt in a close great-coat, he plods along; + A seeming Smuggler, to deceive the throng. + +This expedient of the Smuggler's Great-coat, we must acknowledge, +is not quite so Epic, as the veil of clouds, with which Minerva in +the Odyssey, and Venus, in the neid, surround their respective +heroes. It is, however, infinitely more natural, and gains in +propriety, what it loses in sublimity. Thus disguised, our adventurer +arrives at the Country-house of Dame SHIPTON, a lady of exquisite +beauty, and first Concubine to the Usurper HAROLD. Her likeness +(as we all know) is still preserved at the wax-work in Fleet-Street. +To this lady ROLLO discovers himself, and is received by her in +the most hospitable manner. At supper, he relates to her, with great +modesty, his former actions, and his design of conquering England; +in which (charmed with the grace with which he eats and tells stories) +she promises to assist him, and they set off together for London. +In the third book Dame SHIPTON, or, as the author styles her, +SHIPTONIA, proposes a party to the puppet-show; on the walk they are +surprised by a shower, and retire under Temple-bar, where Shiptonia +forgets her fidelity to Harold. We are sorry to observe, that this +incident is not sufficiently poetical; nor does Shiptonia part with +her chastity in so solemn a manner as Dido in the neid. In the +opening of the fourth book, likewise, we think our author inferior +to Virgil, whom he exactly copies, and in some places translates; +he begins in this manner: + + But now (for thus it was decreed above) + SHIPTONIA falls excessively in love; + In every vein, great ROLLO's eyes and fame + Light up, and then add fuel to the flame! + His words, his beauty, stick within her breast, + Nor do her cares afford her any rest. + +Here we think that Virgil's "hrent infixi pectore vultus verbaque," +is ill translated by the prosaic word _stick_. We must confess, +however, that from the despair and death of Shiptonia, to the battle +of Hastings, in which ROLLO kills with his own hand the Saxon Drummer, +and carries off his wife, the Poem abounds with beautiful details, +cold-blooded matter of facts. Critics may perhaps object that it +appears from the Genealogy of the Rollos, Duke ROLLO came to England +more than 60 years before the battle of Hastings: though the Poet +represents him as the principal hero in that memorable engagement. +But such deviations from history are among the common licences +of poetry. Thus Virgil, for the sake of a beautiful episode, makes +Dido live in the time of neas, whereas she lived in reality +200 years before the Trojan war; and if authority more in point be +desired, Mr. Cumberland wrote a Tragedy, called the Battle of +Hastings, in which there was not a single event, except the death of +Harold, that had the slightest foundation in historical facts, or even +probability. + +But the sixth book, in which ROLLO, almost despairing of success, +descends into a Night Cellar to consult the illustrious MERLIN on +his future destiny, is a master-piece of elegance. In this book, +as the Philosopher's magic lantern exhibits the characters of all +ROLLO's descendants, and even all those who are to act on the same +stage with the Marcellus of the piece, the present illustrious +Mr. ROLLE, we mean to select in our next number some of the most +striking passages of this inexhaustible Magazine of Poetry! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +Our author, after giving an account of the immediate descendants of +ROLLO, finds himself considerably embarrassed by the three unfortunate +ROLLOS[1], whom history relates to have been hanged. From this +difficulty, however, he relieves himself, by a contrivance equally new +and arduous, viz. by versifying the bill of indictment, and inserting +in it a flaw, by which they are saved from condemnation. But in the +transactions of those early times, however dignified the phraseology, +and enlivened by fancy, there is little to amaze and less to interest; +let us hasten, therefore, to those characters about whom not to be +solicitous, is to want curiosity, and whom not to admire, is to want +gratitude--to those characters, in short, whose splendour illuminates +the present House of Commons. + +Of these, our author's principal favourite appears to be that +amiable[2] young Nobleman, whose Diary we have all perused with +so much pleasure. Of him he says,-- + + ------Superior to abuse, + He nobly glories in the name of GOOSE; + Such Geese at Rome from the perfidious Gaul + Preserv'd the Treas'ry-Bench and Capitol, &c. &c. + +In the description of Lord MAHON, our author departs a little from +his wonted gravity,-- + + ------This Quixote of the Nation, + Beats his own Windmills in gesticulation, + To _Strike_, not _please_, his utmost force he bends, + And all his sense is at his fingers ends, &c. &c. + +But the most beautiful effort of our author's genius (if we +except only the character of Mr. ROLLE himself) is contained +in the description of Mr. PITT. + + Pert without fire, without experience sage, + Young with more art than SHELBURNE glean'd from age, + loo proud from pilfer'd greatness to descend, + Too humble not to call DUNDAS his friend, + In solemn dignity and sullen state, + This new Octavius rises to debate! + Mild and more mild he sees each placid row + Of Country Gentlemen with rapture glow; + He sees, convuls'd with sympathetic throbs, + Apprentice Peers, and deputy Nabobs! + Nor Rum Contractors think his speech too long, + While words, like treacle, trickle from his Tongue! + O Soul congenial to the Souls of ROLLES! + Whether you tax the luxury of Coals, + Or vote some necessary millions more, + To feed an Indian friend's exhausted store, + Fain would I praise (if I like thee could praise) + Thy matchless virtues in congenial lays. + But, Ah! too weak, &c. &c. + +This apology, however, is like the _nolo episcopari_ of Bishops; +for our author continues his panegyric during about one hundred +and fifty lines more, after which he proceeds to a task (as he says) +more congenial to his abilities, and paints + + ------in smooth confectionary style, + The simpering sadness of his MULGRAVE's smile. + +From the character of this nobleman we shall only select a part of +one couplet, which tends to elucidate our author's astonishing powers +in imitative harmony, + + ------"within his lab'ring throat + The shrill shriek struggles with the harsh hoarse note." + +As we mean to excite, and not to satisfy at once the curiosity of our +readers, we shall here put a period to our extracts for the present. +We cannot, however, conclude this essay, without observing, that there +are very few lines in the whole work which are at all inferior to +those we have selected for the entertainment of our readers. + +[1] See the Genealogy, p. xxvii, xxviii. + +[2] Lord Graham. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +In proof of the assurance with which we concluded our last number, +we shall now proceed to give the character of SIR RICHARD HILL. + +Our Readers, probably, are well acquainted with the worthy Baronet's +promiscuous quotations from the Bible and Rochester; and they may +possibly remember (if they were awake, when they read them) some +elegant verses, which he repeated in the House of Commons, and +afterwards inserted in the public papers, as the production of a +sleepless Night. We know not, however, if they may so easily recal +to mind his remarkable declaration, both of his Loyalty and Religion, +in the prettily-turned phrase, "that indeed he loved King GEORGE +very well, but he loved King JESUS better." But as our Poet has +alluded to it, we thought necessary to mention it; and for the same +reason to add, that like Lord MAHON, Major SCOTT, Mr. ATKINSON, +Mr. WILKES, and Captain J. LUTTRELL, he writes his own speeches for +the public Reporters. We should also have been happy to have enlivened +our commentary with some extracts from the controversy, at which our +Author glances; we mean the answer of Sir Richard to Mr. Madan, on the +doctrine of Polygamy; a subject, which the tenour of our Baronet's +reading in his two favourite books, peculiarly qualified him to handle +with equally pleasantry and orthodoxy. But all our industry to procure +his pamphlet unfortunately proved ineffectual. We never saw more of it +than the title-page, which we formerly purchased in the lining of +a trunk, at the corner of St. Paul's Church-yard. + +We are conscious, that these introductory explanations must seem +doubly dull, to Readers impatient for such exquisite poetry as +the ROLLIAD. They appeared, however, indispensible to the due +understanding of the verses, which we shall now give without +further preface. + + Brother of ROWLAND, or, if yet more dear + Sounds thy new title, Cousin of a Peer; + Scholar of various learning, good or evil, + Alike what God inspir'd, or what the Devil; + Speaker well skill'd, what no man hears, to write; + Sleep-giving Poet, of a sleepless night; + Polemic, Politician, Saint, and Wit, + Now lashing MADAN, now defending PITT; + Thy praise shall live till time itself be o'er, + Friend of King GEORGE, tho' of King JESUS more! + +The solemnity of this opening is well suited to the dignity of +the occasion. The heroes of Homer generally address each other by +an appellative, marking their affinity to some illustrious personage. +The Grecian poet, it must be confessed, in such cases, uses a +patronymic, expressive of the genealogy; as _Pelides_, _acides_, +_Laertiades_; but it is not absolutely necessary to observe this +rule.--For, [1]M'Pherson, a poet with whom our author is most likely to +be intimately acquainted, makes his hero, Fingal, address Ossian by +the title of "Father of Oscar." It should seem therefore to be +sufficient, if in addressing a great man, you particularise any +celebrated character of the family who may be supposed to reflect +honour on his connections; and the Reverend ROWLAND HILL was certainly +the most celebrated of our worthy Baronet's relations, before the +late creation of Lord BERWICK, on which the next line happily touches. + +Our author seems very fond of Mr. DUNDAS, + + Whose exalted soul + No bonds of vulgar prejudice controul. + Of shame unconscious in his bold career, + He spurns that honour, which the weak revere; + For, true to public Virtue's patriot plan, + He loves _the Minister_, and not _the Man_; + Alike the advocate of NORTH and Wit, + The friend of SHELBURNE, and the guide of PITT, + His ready tongue with sophistries at will, + Can say, unsay, and be consistent still; + This day can censure, and the next retract, + In speech extol, and stigmatize in act; + Turn and re-turn; whole hours at HASTINGS bawl, + Defend, praise, thank, affront him, and recal. + By opposition, he his King shall court; + And damn the People's cause by his support. + He, like some Angel sent to scourge mankind, + Shall deal forth plagues,--in charity design'd. + The West he would have starv'd; yet, ever good, + But meant to save the effusion of her blood: + And if, from fears of his Controul releast + He looses Rapine now, to spoil the East; + 'Tis but to fire another SYKES to plan + Some new starvation-scheme for Hindostan; + Secure, to make her flourish, as before, + More populous, by losing myriads more. + +Our author here seems to understand the famous starvation-scheme +of Mr. DUNDAS, as literally designed to produce an actual famine +in America, though undoubtedly from the most benevolent motives +imaginable. But this is contradicted by a [2]late writer, who appears +to be perfectly conversant with the language and purposes of our +present men in power. "Starvation (says he) is not synonymous +with famine; for Mr. Dundas most certainly could not intend to produce +a famine in America, which is the granary of the West-Indies, and of +a great part of Europe. The word Starvation (continues he) was +intended by Mr. Dundas to express a scheme of his own, by which he +meant to prevent the Americans from eating when they were hungry, +and had food within their reach; thereby insuring their reduction +without blood-shed." However, both authors agree that Mr. Dundas +proposed to starve the Americans (whatever was to be the mode of +doing it) in mere compassion, to save them from the horrors of +throat-cutting. How finely too does the Poet trace the same charitable +disposition in the late measures of Mr. Dundas and his Colleagues +at the Board of Controul! Factious men have said, that the Indian +politics of the new Commissioners have a direct tendency, beyond any +former system, to encourage every kind of peculation and extortion. +But what kind Mr. Dundas would peculiarly wish to encourage, can admit +of no doubt, from his known partiality to starving--any body, +but himself. And how, indeed, can the prosperity of the East be +better consulted, than by some new starvation-scheme; such as was +contrived and executed by certain humane individuals in the year 1770, +with the most salutary event! For, notwithstanding one-third of +the inhabitants of Bengal were then swept away by the famine, +the province, in consequence, is now become more populous than ever. +This may a little disturb all vulgar notions of cause and effect; +but the writer above-mentioned proves the fact, by the testimony +of Major Scott. + +There are many more lines relating to Mr. Dundas. But as this +gentleman's character is so perfectly understood by the public, +we shall rather select a short catalogue of some among the inferior +Ministerial Heroes, who have hitherto been less frequently described. + + DRAKE, whose cold rhetorick freezes in its course, + BANKS the precise, and fluent WILBERFORCE, + With either PHIPPS, a scribbling, prattling pair; + And VILLERS, comely, with the flaxen hair; + The gentle GRENVILLE's ever-grinning Son, + And the dark brow of solemn HAMILTON. + +These miniatures, as we may call them, present us with very striking +likenesses of the living originals; most of whom are seen to as much +advantage in this small size, as they could possibly have been, +had they been taken at full length. How happy is the allusion to +Mr. DRAKE's[3] well-known speech; which, in the metaphor of our poet, +we may style a beautiful icicle of the most transparent eloquence! +How just too, and yet how concise, is the description of the literary +and parliamentary talents, so equally possessed by Brother CHARLES +and Brother HARRY, as Lord Mulgrave affectionately calls them. +We must, however, observe, that in the Manuscript of the ROLLIAD, +obligingly communicated to us by the Author, the line appears to have +been first written, + + Resplendent PHIPPS who shines our lesser Bear; + +the noble head of this illustrious family having been called +the Great Bear. But this was corrected probably in consequence +of the Poet having discovered, like Mr. Herschel, that the splendor +which he long attributed to a single constellation, or (if we may +depart a little from critical nicety in our figure) to a single star, +in reality flowed from the united rays of two. We have nothing +further to add on this passage, only that the character of VILLERS +seems to be drawn after the Nireus of Homer; who, as the Commentators +remark, is celebrated in the catalogue of warriors, for the handsomest +man in the Grecian army, and is never mentioned again through the +whole twenty-four books of the Iliad. + +[1] Mr. M'Pherson is said to be one of the principal writers on +the side of the present administration. + +[2] Key to Parliamentary Debates, published by Debrett. + +[3] "Behold, Sir, another feature of the procrastinating system. +Not so the Athenian Patriots--Sir, the Romans--Sir, I have lost +the clue of my argument--Sir, I will sit down." + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +A new edition (being the nineteenth) of this universally admired poem +having been recently published, the ingenious author has taken that +opportunity to introduce some new lines on an occasion perfectly +congenial to his muse, and in the highest degree interesting to +the public, namely, the late Fast and Thanksgiving; together with +the famous discourse preached in celebration of that day by that +illustrious orator and divine, the Reverend Mr. SECRETARY +PRETTYMAN.--This episode, which is emphatically termed by himself in +his prefatory address to this last edition, his Episode Parsonic, +seems to have been written perfectly _con amore_, and is considered +by critics as one of the happiest effusions of the distinguished +genius from whose high-rapped fancy it originated. It consists of +nine-and-forty lines, of which, without farther exordium, we shall +submit the following extracts to the inspection, or, more properly +speaking, the admiration of our readers. He sets out with a most +spirited compliment to Dr. PRETTYMAN. The two first lines are +considered by critics, as the most successful example of the +alliterative ornament upon record. + + Prim Preacher, Prince of Priests, and [1]Prince's Priest; + Pembroke's pale pride--in PITT's _prcordia_ plac'd. + --Thy merits all shall future ages scan, + And PRINCE be lost in PARSON PRETTYMAN. + +The beauty of the historical allusion to Prince Prettyman, need not +be pointed out to our readers; and the presage that the fame of this +Royal personage shall be lost and absorbed in the rising reputation +of the ingenious divine, is peculiarly happy and well turned. +The celebrated passage of Virgil, + + "Tu Marcellus eris:" + +is supposed to have been in the poet's recollection at the moment +of his conceiving this passage--not that the + + "Oh miserande puer!" + +in the preceding line, is imagined to have excited any idea of Mr. +Pitt. + +Our author now pursues his hero to the pulpit, and there, in imitation +of Homer, who always takes the opportunity for giving a minute +description of his _person_, when they are on the very verge of +entering upon an engagement, he gives a laboured but animated detail +of the Doctor's personal manners and deportment. Speaking of the +penetrating countenance for which the Doctor is distinguished, he +says, + + ARGUS could boast an hundred eyes, 'tis true, } + The DOCTOR looks an hundreds ways with two: } + Gimlets they are, and bore you through and through. } + +This is a very elegant and classic compliment, and shows clearly +what a decided advantage our Reverend Hero possesses over the +celebrated {Ophthalmodoulos} of antiquity. Addison is justly famous +in the literary world, for the judgment with which he selects and +applies familiar words to great occasions, as in the instances: + + ------"The great, the important day, + "_Big_ with the fate of Cato and of Rome."-- + + "The sun grows _dim_ with age, &c. &c." + +This is a very great beauty, for it fares with ideas, as with +individuals; we are the more interested in their fate, the better +we are acquainted with them. But how inferior is Addison in this +respect to our author? + + Gimlets they are, &c. + +There is not such a word in all Cato! How well-known and domestic +the image! How specific and forcible the application!--Our author +proceeds: Having described very accurately the style of the Doctor's +hairdressing, and devoted ten beautiful lines to an eulogy upon +the brilliant on the little finger of his right hand, of which +he emphatically says: + + No veal putrescent, no dead whiting's eye, + In the true water with this ring could vie; + +he breaks out into the following most inspirited and vigorous +apostrophe-- + + Oh! had you seen his lily, lily hand, + Stroke his spare cheek, and coax his snow-white band: + That adding force to all his powers of speech, + This the protector of his sacred breech; + That point the way to Heav'n's coelestial grace, + This keep his small-clothes in their proper place-- + Oh! how the comley preacher you had prais'd, + As now the right, and now the left he rais'd!!! + +Who does not perceive, in this description, as if before their eyes, +the thin figure of emaciated divinity, divided between religion +and decorum; anxious to produce some truths, and conceal others; +at once concerned for _fundamental_ points of various kinds; ever at +the _bottom_ of things--Who does not see this, and seeing, who does +not admire? The notes that accompany this excellent episode, contain +admirable instances of our author's profound knowledge in all +the literature of our established religion; and we are sorry that +our plan will not suffer us to produce them, as a full and decisive +proof that his learning is perfectly on a level with his genius, +and his divinity quite equal to his poetry. + +[1] The Doctor is Chaplain to his Majesty.--He was bred at +Pembroke-hall in Cambridge. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +On Monday last, the twentieth edition of this incomparable poem +made its appearance: and we may safely venture to predict, that, +should it be followed by an hundred more, while the fertile and +inexhaustible genius of the author continues to enrich every new +edition with new beauties, they will not fail to run through, +with the same rapidity that the former have done; so universal +is the enthusiasm prevailing among the genuine lovers of poetry, +and all persons of acknowledged taste, with respect to this wonderful +and unparalleled production. + +What chiefly distinguishes this edition, and renders it peculiarly +interesting at the present moment, is the admirable description +contained in it of the newly-appointed India Board; in which the +characters of the members composing it are most happily, though +perhaps somewhat severely, contrasted with those to whom the same +high office had been allotted by a former administration. + +That the feelings of the public are in unison with those of our author +upon this occasion, is sufficiently apparent from the frequent +Panegyrics with which the public papers have of late been filled, +upon the characters of these distinguished personages. In truth, +the superiority of our present excellent administration over their +opponents, can in no instance be more clearly demonstrated, than by a +candid examination of the comparative merits of the persons appointed +by each of them to preside in this arduous and important department. + +Our author opens this comparison by the following elegant compliment +to the accomplished Nobleman whose situation, as Secretary of State, +entitles him to a priority of notice, as the eminence of his abilities +will ever ensure him a due superiority of weight in the deliberations +of the board. + + SYDNEY, whom all the pow'rs of rhetoric grace. + Consistent SYDNEY fills FITZWILLIAM's place; + O, had by nature but proportion'd been + His strength of genius to his length of chin, + His mighty mind in some prodigious plan + At once with ease had reach'd to Indostan! + +The idea conveyed in these lines, of the possibility of a feature +in the human face extending to so prodigious a distance as the +East-Indies, has been objected to as some-what hyperbolical. But those +who are well acquainted with the person as well as the character of +the noble lord alluded to, and who are unquestionably the best judges +of the _extent_ of the compliment, will certainly be of a different +opinion. Neither indeed is the objection founded in truth, but must +have arisen merely from the passage not having been properly +understood. It by no means supposes his Lordship to have literally a +chin of such preposterous dimensions, as must be imagined for the +purpose of reaching to the East-Indies; but figuratively speaking, +only purports, that, if his Lordship's mental, faculties are +co-extensive with that distinguished feature of his face, they may +readily embrace, and be competent to the consideration of the most +distant objects. The meaning of the author is so obvious, that this +cavil probably originated in wilful misapprehension, with a view of +detracting from the merit of one of the most beautiful passages in +the whole poem. + +What reader can refuse his admiration to the following lines, in which +the leading features of the characters are so justly, strongly, and +at the same time so concisely delineated? + + Acute observers, who with skilful ken + Descry the characters of public men, + Rejoice that pow'r and patronage should pass + From _jobbing_ MONTAGUE to _pure_ DUNDAS; + Exchange with pleasure, ELLIOT, LEW'SHAM, NORTH, + For MULGRAVE's tried integrity and worth; + And all must own, that worth completely tried, + By turns experienc'd upon every side. + +How happy is the selection of epithets in these lines! How forcibly +descriptive of the character to which they are applied! In the same +strain he proceeds:-- + + Whate'er experience GREGORY might boast, + Say, is not WALSINGHAM himself a host? + His grateful countrymen, with joyful eyes, + From SACKVILLE's ashes see this Phoenix rise: + Perhaps with all his master's talents blest, + To save the East as he subdu'd the West. + +The historical allusion is here judiciously introduced; and the +pleasing prospect hinted at of the same happy issue attending our +affairs in the Eastern, that has already crowned them in the +Western world, must afford peculiar satisfaction to the feelings +of every British reader. + +The next character is most ingeniously described, but like a +former one, containing some _personal_ allusions, requires, in order +to be fully understood, a more intimate acquaintance with the exterior +qualifications of the gentleman in question, than can have fallen +to the lot of every reader. All who have had the pleasure of +seeing him, however, will immediately acknowledge the resemblance +of the portrait. + + See next advance, in knowing FLETCHER's stead, + A youth, who boasts no common share of head; + What plenteous stores of knowledge may contain + The spacious tenement of GRENVILLE's brain! + Nature, in all her dispensations wise, + Who form'd his head-piece of so vast a size, + Hath not, 'tis true, neglected to bestow + Its due proportion to the part below; + And hence we reason, that, to serve the state, + His top and bottom may have equal weight. + +Every reader will naturally conceive, that in the description of +the principal person of the board, the author has exerted the +whole force of his genius, and he will not find his expectations +disappointed; he has reserved him for the last, and has judiciously +evaded disgracing him by a comparison with any other, upon the +principle, no doubt, quoted from Mr. Theobald, by that excellent +critic, Martinus Scriblerus: + + "None but himself can be his parallel." + DOUBLE FALSEHOOD. + +As he has drawn this character at considerable length, we shall +content ourselves with selecting some few of the most striking +passages, whatever may be the difficulty of selecting where almost +the whole is equally beautiful. The grandeur of the opening prepares +the mind for the sublime sensations suitable to the dignity of a +subject so exalted: + + Above the rest, majestically great, + Behold the infant Atlas of the state, + The matchless miracle of modern days, + In whom Britannia to the world displays + A sight to make surrounding nations stare; + A kingdom trusted to a school-boy's care. + +It is to be observed to the credit of our author, that, although his +political principles are unquestionably favourable to the present +happy government, he does not scruple, with that boldness which +ever characterises real genius, to animadvert with freedom on persons +of the most elevated rank and station; and he has accordingly +interspersed his commendations of our favourite young Minister with +much excellent and reasonable counsel, fore-warning him of the dangers +to which he is by his situation exposed. After having mentioned his +introduction into public life, and concurred in that admirable +panegyric of his immaculate virtues, made in the House of Commons by +a noble Lord already celebrated in the poem, upon which he has the +following observation: + + ------As MULGRAVE, who so fit + To chaunt the praises of ingenious PITT? + The nymph unhackney'd and unknown abroad, + Is thus commended by the hackney'd bawd. + The dupe enraptur'd, views her fancied charms, + And clasps the maiden mischief to his arms, + Till dire disease reveals the truth too late: + O grant my country, Heav'n, a milder fate! + +he attends him to the high and distinguished station he now so ably +fills, and, in a nervous strain of manly eloquence, describes the +defects of character and conduct to which his situation, and the means +by which he came to it, render him peculiarly liable. The spirit of +the following lines is remarkable: + + Oft in one bosom may be found allied, + Excess of meanness, and excess of pride: + Oft may the Statesman, in St. Stephen's brave, + Sink in St. James's to an abject slave; + Erect and proud at Westminster, may fall + Prostrate and pitiful at Leadenhall; + In word a giant, though a dwarf in deed, + Be led by others while he seems to lead. + +He afterwards with great force describes the lamentable state of +humiliation into which he may fall from his present pinnacle of +greatness, by too great a subserviency to those from whom he has +derived it, and appeals to his pride in the following beautiful +exclamation: + + Shall CHATHAM's offspring basely beg support, + Now from the India, now St. James's court; + With pow'r admiring Senates to bewitch, + Now kiss a Monarch's--now a Merchant's breech; + And prove a pupil of St. Omer's school, + Of either KINSON, AT. or JEN. the tool? + +Though cold and cautious criticism may perhaps stare at the boldness +of the concluding line, we will venture to pronounce it the most +masterly stroke of the sublime to be met with in this, or any other +poem. It may be justly said, as Mr. Pope has so happily expressed it-- + + "To snatch a grace beyond the reach of art." + ESSAY ON CRITICISM. + +As we despair of offering any thing equal to this lofty flight of +genius to the reader of true taste, we shall conclude with +recommending to him the immediate perusal of the whole poem, and, in +the name of an admiring public, returning our heart-felt thanks to the +wonderful author of this invaluable work. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +In our two last numbers we were happy to give our readers the earliest +relish of those additional beauties, with which the nineteenth and +twentieth impressions of the ROLLIAD are enriched. And these +interpolations we doubt not have been sufficiently admired for their +intrinsic merit, even in their detached state, as we gave them. But +what superior satisfaction must they have afforded to those who have +read them in their proper places! They are parts of a whole, and as +such wonderfully improve the effect of the general design, by an +agreeable interruption of prosaic regularity. + +This may appear to some but a paradoxical kind of improvement, which +is subversive of order. It must be remembered, however, that the +descent of ROLLO to the night-cellar was undoubtedly suggested by the +descent of neas to hell in the Sixth Book of Virgil; and every +classical Critic knows what a noble contempt of order the Roman Poet +studiously displays in the review of his countrymen. From Romulus he +jumps at once to Augustus; gets back how he can to Numa; goes straight +forward to Brutus; takes a short run to Camillus; makes a long stride +to Julius Csar and Pompey; from Cato retreats again to the Gracchi +and the Scipios; and at last arrives in a beautiful zig-zag at +Marcellus, with whom he concludes. And this must be right, because it +is in Virgil. + +A similar confusion, therefore, has now been judiciously introduced by +our Author in the Sixth Book of the ROLLIAD. He first singles out some +of the great statesmen of the present age; then carries us to church, +to hear Dr. Prettyman preach before the Speaker and the pews; and next +shows us all that Mr. DUNDAS means to let the public know of the new +India Board;--that is to say, the Members of whom it is composed. He +now proceeds, where a dull genius would probably have begun, with an +accurate description of the House of Commons, preparatory to the +exhibition of Mr. ROLLE, and some other of our political heroes, on +that theatre of their glory. Maps of the country round Troy have been +drawn from the Iliad; and we doubt not, that a plan of St. Stephen's +might now be delineated with the utmost accuracy from the ROLLIAD. + +Merlin first ushers Duke ROLLO into the LOBBY: marks the situation of +the two entrances; one in the front, the other communicating laterally +with the Court of Requests; and points out the topography of the +fire-place and the box, + + ------ ------ ------in which + Sits PEARSON, like a pagod in his niche; + The Gomgom PEARSON, whose sonorous lungs + With "Silence! Room there!" drown an hundred tongues. + +This passage is in the very spirit of prophecy, which delights to +represent things in the most lively manner. We not only see, but hear +Pearson in the execution of his office. The language, too, is truly +prophetic; unintelligible, perhaps, to those to whom it is addressed, +but perfectly clear, full, and forcible to those who live in the time +of the accomplishment. Duke ROLLO might reasonably be supposed to +stare at the barbarous words "_Pagod_" and "_Gomgom_;" but we, who +know one to signify an Indian Idol, and the other an Indian Instrument +of music, perceive at once the peculiar propriety with which such +images are applied to an officer of a House of Commons so completely +Indian as the present. A writer of less judgment would have contented +himself with comparing Pearson simply to a + + Statue in his niche-- + +and with calling him a Stentor, perhaps in the next line: but such +unappropriated similies and metaphors could not satisfy the nice taste +of our author. + +The description of the Lobby also furnishes an opportunity of +interspersing a passage of the tender kind, in praise of the Pomona +who attends there with oranges. Our poet calls her HUCSTERIA, and, by +a dexterous stroke of art, compares her to Shiptonia, whose amours +with ROLLO form the third and fourth books of the ROLLIAD. + + Behold the lovely wanton, kind and fair, + As bright SHIPTONIA, late thy amorous care! + Mark how her winning smiles, and 'witching eyes, + On yonder unfledg'd orator she tries! + Mark, with what grace she offers to his hand + The tempting orange, pride of China's land! + +This gives rise to a panegyric on the medical virtues of oranges, and +an oblique censure on the indecent practice of our young Senators, who +come down drunk from the eating-room, to sleep in the gallery. + + O! take, wise youth, the' Hesperian fruit, of use + Thy lungs to cherish with balsamic juice. + With this thy parch'd roof moisten; nor consume + Thy hours and guineas in the eating-room, + Till, full of claret, down with wild uproar + You reel, and, stretch'd along the gallery, snore. + +From this the poet naturally slides into a general caution against the +vice of drunkenness, which he more particularly enforces, by the +instance of Mr. PITT's late peril, from the farmer at Wandsworth. + + Ah! think, what danger on debauch attends: + Let Pitt, once drunk, preach temp'rance to his friends; + How, as he wander'd darkling o'er the plain, + His reason drown'd in JENKINSON's champaigne, + A rustic's hand, but righteous fate withstood, + Had shed a Premier's for a robber's blood. + +We have been thus minute in tracing the transitions in this inimitable +passage, as they display, in a superior degree, the wonderful skill of +our poet, who could thus bring together an orange-girl, and the +present pure and immaculate Minister; a connection, which, it is more +than probable, few of our readers would in any wise have suspected. + + --------------Ex fumo dare lucem + Cogitat, ut speciosa dehinc miracula promat. + +From the Lobby we are next led into the several committee-rooms and +other offices adjoining; and among the rest, MERLIN, like a noble +Lord, whose diary was some time since printed, "takes occasion to +inspect the water-closets," + + Where offerings, worthy of those altars, lie, + Speech, letter, narrative, remark, reply; + With dead-born taxes, innocent of ill, + With cancell'd clauses of the India bill: + There pious NORTHCOTE's meek rebukes, and here + The labour'd nothings of the SCRUTINEER; + And reams on reams of tracts, that, without pain, + Incessant spring from SCOTT's prolific brain. + Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own? + Turn then, my son, &c. &c. + +This passage will probably surprise many of our readers, who must have +discovered our author to be, as every good and wise man must be, +firmly attached to the present system. It was natural for Dante to +send his enemies to hell; but it seems strange that our poet should +place the writings of his own friends and fellow-labourers in a +water-closet. It has indeed been hinted to us, that it might arise from +envy, to find some of them better rewarded for their exertions in the +cause, than himself. But though great minds have sometimes been +subject to this passion, we cannot suppose it to have influenced the +author of the ROLLIAD in the present instance. For in that case we +doubt not he would have shown more tenderness to his fellow-sufferer, +the unfortunate Mr. NORTHCOTE, who, after sacrificing his time, +degrading his profession, and hazarding his ears twice or thrice every +week, for these two or three years past, has at length confessed his +patriotism weary of employing his talents for the good of his country, +without receiving the reward of his labours. To confess the truth, we +ourselves think the apparent singularity of the poet's conduct on this +occasion, may be readily ascribed to that independence of superior +genius, which we noticed in our last number. We there remarked, with +what becoming freedom he spoke to the Minister himself; and in the +passage now before us, we may find traces of the same spirit, in the +allusions to the coal-tax, gauze-tax, and ribbon-tax, as well as the +unexampled alterations and corrections of the celebrated India-bill. +Why then should it appear extraordinary, that he should take the same +liberty with two or three brother-authors, which he had before taken +with their master; and without scruple intimate, what he and every one +else must think of their productions, notwithstanding he may possess +all possible charity for the good intention of their endeavours? + +We cannot dismiss these criticisms, without observing on the +concluding lines; how happily our author, here again, as before, by +the mention of Shiptonia, contrives to recal our attention to the +personages more immediately before us, MERLIN and DUKE ROLLO! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +We come now to the _Sanctum Sanctorum_, the Holy of Holies, where the +glory of political integrity shines visibly, since the shrine has been +purified from Lord J. CAVENDISH, Mr. FOLJAMBE, Sir C. BUNBURY, Mr. +COKE, Mr. BAKER, Major HARTLEY, and the rest of its pollutions. To +drop our metaphor, after making a minute survey of the Lobby, peeping +into the Eating-room, and inspecting the Water-closets, we are at +length admitted into the House itself. The transition here is +peculiarly grand and solemn. MERLIN, having corrected himself for +wasting so much time on insignificant objects, + + (Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own?) + +immediately directs the attention of Rollo to the doors of the house, +which are represented in the vision, as opening at that moment to +gratify the hero's curiosity; then the prophet suddenly cries out, in +the language of ancient Religion, + + ------Procul, procul este profani! + + Turn then, my son, where to thy hallow'd eye + Yon doors unfold--Let none profane he nigh! + +It seems as if the poet, in the preceding descriptions, had purposely +stooped to amuse himself with the Gomgom Pearson, Hucsteria, Major +Scott, Mr. Northcote, and the Reverend author of the Scrutineer, that +he might rise again with the more striking dignity on this great +occasion. + +MERLIN now leads ROLLO to the centre of the House, + + Conventus trahit in medios, turbamque sonantem. + +He points out to him the gallery for strangers to sit in, and members +to sleep in; the bar below, and the clock above. Of the clock he +observes, + + When this shalt point, the hour of question come, + Mutes shall find voice, and Orators be dumb. + This, if in lengthen'd parle the night they pass, + Shall furnish still his opening to DUNDAS; + To PITT, when "hear-hims" flag, shall oft supply + The chear-trap trick of stale apology; + And, strange to tell! in Nature's spite, provoke + Hot ARDEN once to blunder at a joke. + +The beauty of these lines will be instantly perceived by all who have +witnessed the debates; as they cannot but have remarked, how +perpetually "_the late hour of night_" occupies the exordiums of Mr. +DUNDAS, after eleven o'clock; and how frequently it is introduced by +Mr. PITT as a hint, for what is called _chearing_, whenever his +arguments and invectives are received by his young friends with the +unparliamentary compliment of sacred silence. The miracle of a jest +from Mr. ARDEN, happened on the occasion of some Resolutions having +passed between the hours of _six_ and _seven_ in the morning; for +which reason the Attorney-General facetiously contended, that they +were entitled to no respect, "as the house was then at _sixes_ and +_sevens_." Any approximation to wit in debate, being perfectly unusual +with this gentleman, however entertaining his friends may think him in +private, our author very properly distinguishes this memorable attempt +by the same kind of admiration, with which poets commonly mention some +great prodigy--as for instance, of a cow's speaking: + + ----pecudesque locut + Infandum! + +We hope none of our readers will attribute to us the most distant +intention of any invidious comparison. + +The table, mace, &c. are next described, but these we shall pass over +in silence, that we may get--where most who enter the House of Commons +wish to get--to the TREASURY-BENCH, + + Where sit the gowned clerks, by ancient rule, + This on a chair, and that upon a stool; + Where stands the well-pil'd table, cloth'd in green; + There on the left the TREASURY-BENCH is seen. + No sattin covering decks the' unsightly boards; + No velvet cushion holds the youthful lords: + And claim illustrious Tails such small regard? + Ah! Tails too tender for a seat so hard. + +This passage touches on a subject of much offence to the young friends +of the minister; we mean the barbarous and Gothic appearance of the +benches in the House of Commons. The Treasury-bench itself looks no +better than a first form in one of our public schools: + + No sattin covering decks the' unsightly boards, + No velvet cushion holds the youthful Lords. + +The above couplet states with much elegance the matter of complaint, +and glances with equal dexterity at the proper remedy. The composition +is then judiciously varied. The whole art of the poet is employed to +interest our passions in favour of the necessary reform, by +expostulatory interrogations and interjections the most affectingly +pathetic. And who can read the former, without feeling his sense of +national honour most deeply injured by the supposed indignity; or who +can read the latter, without melting into the most unfeigned +commiseration for the actual sufferings to which the youthful lords +are at present exposed? It must, doubtless, be a seasonable relief to +the minds of our readers, to be informed, that Mr. PITT (as it has +been said in some of the daily papers) means to propose, for one +article of his Parliamentary Reform, to cover the seats in general +with crimson sattin, and to decorate the Treasury-bench, in +particular, with cushions of crimson velvet; one of [1] extraordinary +dimensions being to be appropriated to Mr. W. GRENVILLE. + +The epithet "_tender_" in the last line we were at first disposed to +consider as merely synonymous with "_youthful_." But a friend, to whom +we repeated the passage, suspected that the word might bear some more +emphatical sense; and this conjecture indeed seems to be established +beyond doubt, by the original reading in the manuscript, which, as we +before said, has been communicated to us, + + "Alas! that flesh, so late by pedants scarr'd, + Sore from the rod, should suffer seats so hard," + +We give these verses, not as admitting any comparison with the text, +as it now stands, but merely by way of commentary, to illustrate the +poet's meaning. + +From the Treasury-bench, we ascend one step to the INDIA-BENCH. + + "There too, in place advanc'd, as in command, + Above the beardless rulers of the land, + On a bare bench, alas! exalted sit, + The pillars of Prerogative and PITT; + Delights of Asia, ornaments of men, + Thy Sovereign's Sovereigns, happy Hindostan." + +The movement of these lines is, as the subject required, more elevated +than that of the preceding: yet the prevailing sentiment excited by +the description of the Treasury-bench, is artfully touched by our +author, as he passes, in the Hemistich, + + On a bare bench, alas!------ + +which is a beautiful imitation of Virgil's + + ------Ah! filice in nud------ + +The pompous titles so liberally bestowed on the BENGAL SQUAD, as the +_pennyless hirelings_ of opposition affect to call them, are truly in +the Oriental taste; and we doubt not, but every friend to the present +happy government, will readily agree in the justice of stiling them +"pillars of prerogative and Pitt, delights of Asia, and ornaments of +man." Neither, we are assured, can any man of any party object to the +last of their high dignities, "Sovereigns of the Sovereign of India;" +since the Company's well-known sale of Shah Allum to his own Visier, +is an indisputable proof of their supremacy over the Great Mogul. + +As our author has been formerly accused of plagiarism, we must here in +candour confess, that he seems, in his description of the India-bench, +to have had an eye to Milton's account of the devil's throne; which, +however, we are told, much exceeded the possible splendour of any +India-bench, or even the magnificence of Mr. Hastings himself. + + High on a throne of royal slate, which far + Outshone the wealth of Orams, or of Ind; + Or where the gorgeous East, with lavish hand, + Show'rs on her King, barbaric pearl and gold; + Satan _exalted sate_.------ + +This concluding phrase, our readers will observe, is exactly and +literally copied by our author. It is also worthy of remark, that as +he calls the Bengal squad, + + The _Pillars_ of Prerogative and Pitt, + +So Milton calls Beelzebub, + + A _Pillar_ of State:------ + +Though, it is certain, that the expression here quoted may equally +have been suggested by one of the Persian titles[2], said to be +engraved on a seal of Mr. Hastings, where we find the Governor General +styled, "_Pillar_ of the Empire." But we shall leave it to our readers +to determine, as they may think proper, on the most probable source of +the metaphor, whether it were in reality derived from Beelzebub or +Mr. Hastings. + +[1] For a description of this young gentleman's person, from _top to +bottom_, see No. V. + +[2] The following is copied from the Morning Chronicle of October 5, +1784. + + Mr. HASTINGS'S PERSIAN TITLES, _as engraved upon a Seal._ + _A True Translation._ + Nabob Governor-General Hastings, _Saub_, + Pillar of the Empire, + The fortunate in War, Hero, + The most princely offspring of the Loins, + Of the King of the Universe, + The Defender of the Mahomedan Faith, + And Asylum of the World, &c. &c. &c. &c. + + _Translation of a Persian Inscription engraven on a large fine Ruby, + being the titles either given to or assumed by Mrs._ HASTINGS. + "Royal and Imperial Governess, + The elegance of the age, + The most exalted Bilkiss, + The Zobaide of the Palaces, + The most heroic Princess, + Ruby Marian Hastings, Sauby, &c. &c. + +N.B. With the Mussulmans, _Bilkiss_ signifies the person, called in +the Bible History the Queen of Sheba; and _Zobaide_ was a favourite +wife of Mahomed; and when they wish to pay the highest compliments to +a lady, they compare her to Bilkiss and Zobaide, who possessed the +most exalted beauty, and perfection of every kind. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +From the above general compliment to the India-bench, the poet, in the +person of Merlin, breaks out into the following animated apostrophe +to some of the principal among our Leadenhall-street Governors: + + All hail! ye virtuous patriots without blot, Rollo + The minor KINSON and the major SCOTT: + And thou of name uncouth to British ear, + From Norman smugglers sprung, LE MESURIER; + Hail SMITHS; and WRAXALL, unabash'd to talk, + Tho' none will listen; hail too, CALL and PALK; + Thou, BARWEL, just and good, whose honour'd name, + Wide, as the Ganges rolls, shall live in fame, + Second to HASTINGS: and, VANSITTART, thou, + A second HASTINGS, if the Fates allow. + +The bold, but truly poetical apocope, by which the Messrs. At-kinson +and Jen-kinson, are called the two kinsons, is already familiar to the +public. The minor Kinson, or Kinson the less, is obviously Mr. +Atkinson; Mr. Jenkinson being confessedly greater than Mr. Atkinson, +or any other man, except One, in the kingdom.--The antithesis of the +Major Scott to the minor Kinson, seems to ascertain the sense of the +word Major, as signifying in this place the greater; it might mean +also the elder; or it might equally refer to the military rank of the +gentleman intended. This is a beautiful example of the figure so much +admired by the ancients under the name of the Paronomasia, or Pun. +They who recollect the light in which our author before represented +Major Scott, as a pamphleteer, fit only to furnish a water-closet, may +possibly wonder to find him here mentioned as THE GREATER SCOTT; but +whatever may be his literary talents, he must be acknowledged to be +truly great, and worthy of the conspicuous place here assigned him, if +we consider him in his capacity of agent to Mr. Hastings, and of +consequence chief manager of the Bengal Squad; and it must be +remembered, that this is the character in which he is here introduced. +The circumstance of Mr. Le Mesurier's origin from Norman Smugglers, +has been erroneously supposed by some critics to be designed for a +reproach; but they could not possibly have fallen into this mistaste, +if they had for a moment reflected that it is addressed by MERLIN to +ROLLO, who was himself no more than a Norman pirate. Smuggling and +piracy in heroic times were not only esteemed not infamous, but +absolutely honourable. The Smiths, Call and Palk of our poet, resemble +the + + Alcandrumque, Haliumque, Nomonaque, Prytanimque, + +of Homer and Virgil; who introduce those gallant warriors for the sake +of a smooth verse, and dispatch them at a stroke without the +distinction of a single epithet. Our poet too has more professedly +imitated Virgil in the lines respecting Mr. Vansittart, now a +candidate to succeed Mr. Hastings. + + ------And, VANSITTART, thou + A second HASTINGS, if the fates allow. + ------Si qu fata aspera rumpas, + Tu Marcellus eris! + +The passage however is, as might be hoped from the genius of our +author, obviously improved in the imitation; as it involves a climax, +most happily expressed. Mr. Barwell has been panegyrized in the lines +immediately foregoing, as _second to Hastings_; but of Mr. Vansittart +it is prophesied, that he will be a _second Hastings_; second indeed +in time, but equal perhaps in the distinguishing merits of that great +and good man, in obedience to the Court of Directors, attention to the +interests of the Company in preference to his own, abstinence from +rapacity and extortion, justice and policy towards the princes, and +humanity to all the natives, of Hindostan. The ingenious turn on the +words _second to Hastings_, and a _second Hastings_, would have +furnished matter for whole pages to the Dionysius's, Longinus's, and +Quintilians of antiquity, though the affected delicacy of modern taste +may condemn it as quibble and jingle. + +The poet then hints at a most ingenious proposal for the embellishment +of the India-bench, according to the new plan of Parliamentary Reform; +not by fitting it up like the Treasury-bench, with velvet cushions, +but by erecting for the accommodation of the Leadenhall worthies, the +ivory bed, which was lately presented to her Majesty by Mrs. Hastings. + + O that for you, in Oriental state, + At ease reclin'd to watch the long debate, + Beneath the gallery's pillar'd height were spread + (With the QUEEN's leave) your WARREN's ivory bed! + +The pannels of the gallery too, over the canopy of the bed, are to be +ornamented with suitable paintings, + + Above, In colours warm with mimic life, + The German husband of your WARREN's wife + His rival deeds should blazon; and display. + In his blest rule, the glories of your sway. + +What singular propriety, what striking beauty must the reader of taste +immediately perceive in this choice of a painter to execute the +author's design! It cannot be doubted but Mrs. Hastings would exert +all her own private and all Major Scott's public influence with +_every_ branch of the Legislature, to obtain so illustrious a job for +the man to whose affection, or to whose want of affection, she owes +her present fortunes. The name of this artist is Imhoff; but though he +was once honoured with Royal Patronages he is now best remembered from +the circumstance by which our author has distinguished him, of his +former relation to Mrs. Hastings. + +Then follow the subjects of the paintings, which are selected with +the usual judgment of our poet. + + Here might the tribes of ROHILCUND expire, + And quench with blood their towns, that sink in fire; + The Begums there, of pow'r, of wealth forlorn, + With female cries their hapless fortune mourn. + Here, hardly rescu'd from his guard, CHEYT SING + Aghast should fly; there NUNDCOMAR should swing; + Happy for him! if he had borne to see + His country beggar'd of the last rupee; + Nor call'd those laws, O HASTINGS, on thy head, + Which, mock'd by thee, thy slaves alone should dread. + +These stories, we presume, are too public to require any explanation. +But if our readers should wish to be more particularly acquainted with +them, they will find them in the [1]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, +commonly called the Reports of the Select and Secret Committees, with +Appendixes of Letters, Minutes, and Narratives written by Mr. Hastings +himself. Or they may consult the History of Alexander the Great, +contained, in Major John Scott's narrative of the administration of +Mr. Hastings. Though we would rather refer them to the latter work, as +in our opinion it is one of the most satisfactory defences ever +published; and proves to demonstration, that Mr. Hastings never +committed a single act of injustice or cruelty, but he constantly +obtained forty or fifty lacks for the Company or himself--That an +enquiry into past abuses is an impolitic order; because "much valuable +time must be lost, and much odium incurred by the attempt;" and +therefore Mr. Hastings of course ought not to have been censured at +all, unless he had been censured _before_ he had done any thing to +deserve it--That it was right for Mr. Hastings to keep up the good old +custom of receiving presents, in defiance of a positive law; because +his predecessors had received as large sums when they were authorized +by custom, and not prohibited by any law--That Mr. Hastings was +justified in disobeying the orders of the Directors, because he could +no otherwise have convinced the Country Powers of his superiority over +his Masters, which was, and is, absolutely necessary--that, though it +may be questioned if Nundcomar was legally condemned, it was proper to +execute him, in order to show the justice and impartiality of the +Judges in hanging the natives, whom they were sent especially to +protect--That a Treaty of Peace between two nations is of no force, if +you can get one of the individuals who officially signed it, to +consent to the infraction of it--together with many other positions, +equally just and novel, both in Ethics and Politics. + +But to return to our Poet. MERLIN now drops his apostrophe, and +eulogizes the India-bench in the third person for the blessings of Tea +and the Commutation Tax. The following passage will show our author to +be, probably, a much better Grocer than Mr. Pitt; and perhaps little +inferior to the Tea-Purchaser's Guide. + + What tongue can tell the various kind of Tea? + Of Blacks and Greens, of Hyson and Bohea; + With Singlo, Congou, Pekoe, and Souchong: + Couslip the fragrant, Gun-powder the strong; + And more, all heathenish alike in name, + Of humbler some, and some of nobler fame. + +The prophet then compares the breakfasts of his own times with those +of ours: attributes to the former the intractable spirit of that age; +and from the latter fervently prays, like a loyal subject, for the +perfect accomplishment of their natural effects; that they may relax +the nerves of Englishmen into a proper state of submission to the +superior powers. We shall insert the lines at length. + + On mighty beef, bedew'd with potent ale, + Our Saxons, rous'd at early dawn, regale; + And hence a sturdy, bold, rebellious race, + Strength in the frame, and spirit in the face, + All sacred right of Sovereign Power defy, + For Freedom conquer, or for Freedom die. + Not so their sons, of manners more polite; + How would they sicken at the very sight! + O'er Chocolate's rich froth, o'er Coffee's fume, + Or Tea's hot tide their noons shall they consume. + But chief, all sexes, every rank and age, + Scandal and Tea, more grateful, shall engage; + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish'd tables, or the casual stone. + Be _Bloom_ reduc'd; and PITT no more a foe, + Ev'n PITT, the favourite of the fair shall grow: + Be but _Mundungus_ cheap; on light and air + New burthens gladly shall our peasants bear, + And boil their peaceful kettles, gentle souls! + Contented,--if no tax be laid on coals. + Aid then, kind Providence, yon' generous bench, + With copious draughts the thirsty realm to drench; + And oh! thy equal aid let PRESTON find, + With [2]_musty-sweet_ and _mouldy-fresh_ combin'd, + To palsy half our isles: 'till wan, and weak, + Each nerve unstrung, and bloodless every cheek, + Head answering head, and noddling thro' the street. + The destin'd change of Britons is complete; + Things without will, like India's feeble brood, + Or China's shaking Mandarins of wood. + So may the Crown in native lustre shine, + And British Kings re-sume their right divine. + +We have been thus prolix in giving the whole of this quotation, as we +think it glances very finely at the true policy, why it is expedient +to encourage the universal consumption of an article, which some +factious people have called a pernicious luxury. And our readers, we +are persuaded, will agree with us, when we decidedly pronounce this as +good a defence of the Commutation Tax, as we have yet seen. + +We must observe however that our author is probably indebted to the +extensive information of Lord Sydney, for the hint of the following +couplet: + + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish'd tables, or the casual stone. + +The Secretary of State in the discussion of the abovementioned tax, +very ably calculated the great quantity of tea consumed under hedges +by vagrants, who have no houses; from which he most ingeniously argued +to the justice and equity of laying the impost on persons who +have houses, whether they consume it or not. + +We shall conclude this number, as the Poet concludes the subject, +with some animated verses on Mr. FOX and Mr. PITT. + + Crown the froth'd Porter, slay the fatted Ox, + And give the British meal to British Fox. + But for an Indian minister more fit, + Ten cups of purest Padrae pour for PITT, + Pure as himself; add sugar too and cream, + Sweet as his temper, bland as flows the stream + Of his smooth eloquence; then crisply nice + The muffin toast, or bread and butter slice, + Thin as his arguments, that mock the mind, + Gone, ere you taste,--no relish left behind. + Where beauteous Brighton overlooks the sea, + These be his joys: and STEELE shall make the Tea. + +How neat! how delicate! and how unexpected is the allusion in the +last couplet! These two lines alone include the substance of +whole columns, in the ministerial papers of last summer, on the sober, +the chaste, the virtuous, the edifying manner in which the +Immaculate Young Man passed the recess from public business; +not in riot and debauchery, not in gaming, not in attendance on +ladies, either modest or immodest, but in drinking Tea with Mr. +Steele, at the Castle in Brighthelmstone. Let future ages read and +admire! + +[1] We have the highest law authority for this title; as well as for +calling Mr. Hastings Alexander the Great. + +[2] The Tea-dealers assure us, that Mr. PRESTON's _sweet_ and _fresh_ +Teas contain a great part of the _musty_ and _mouldy_ chests, which +the Trade rejected. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IX._ + +In every new edition of this incomparable poem, it has been the +invariable practice of the author, to take an opportunity of adverting +to such recent circumstances, as have occurred since the original +publication of it relative to any of the illustrious characters he has +celebrated. The public has lately been assured that, the Marquis of +Graham is elected Chancellor of the University of Glasgow, and has +presented that learned body with a complete set of the engravings of +Piranesi, an eminent Italian artist; of which we are happy to acquaint +the Dilettanti, a few remaining sets are to be purchased at +Mr. Alderman Boydell's printshop, in Cheapside, price twelve pounds +twelve shillings each. An anecdote reflecting so much honour upon one +of the favourite characters of our author, could not pass unnoticed in +the ROLLIAD; and accordingly, in his last edition, we find the +following complimentary lines upon the subject: + + If right the Bard, whose numbers sweetly flow, + That all our knowledge is ourselves to know; + A sage like GRAHAM, can the world produce, + Who in full senate call'd himself a goose? + The admiring Commons, from the high-born youth, + With wonder heard this undisputed truth; + Exulting Glasgow claim'd him for her own, + And plac'd the prodigy on Learning's throne. + +He then alludes to the magnificent present abovementioned, and +concludes in that happy vein of alliterative excellence, for which he +is so justly admired-- + + With gorgeous gifts from gen'rous GRAHAM grac'd, + Great Glasgow grows the granary of taste. + +Our readers will doubtless recollect, that this is not the first +tribute of applause paid to the distinguished merit of the +public-spirited young Nobleman in question. In the first edition of the +poem, his character was drawn at length, the many services he has +rendered his country were enumerated, and we have lately been assured by +our worthy friend and correspondent, Mr. Malcolm M'Gregor, the ingenious +author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir William Chambers, and other +valuable poems, that the following spirited verses, recording the +ever-memorable circumstance of his Lordship's having procured for the +inhabitants of the Northern extremity of our Island, the inestimable +privilege of exempting their posteriors from those ignominious symbols +of slavery, vulgarly denominated breeches, are actually universally +repeated with enthusiasm, throughout every part of the highlands +of Scotland-- + + Thee, GRAHAM! thee, the frozen Chieftains bless, + Who feel thy bounties through their fav'rite dress; + By thee they view their rescued country clad + In the bleak honours of their long-lost plaid; + Thy patriot zeal has bar'd their parts behind + To the keen whistlings of the wintry wind; + While Lairds the dirk, while lasses bag-pipes prize, + And oat-meal cake the want of bread supplies; + The scurvy skin, while scaly scabs enrich, + While contact gives, and brimstone cures the itch, + Each breeze that blows upon those brawny parts, + Shall wake thy lov'd remembrance in their hearts; + And while they freshen from the Northern blast, + So long thy honour, name, and praise shall last. + +We need not call to the recollection of the classical reader, + + Dum juga montis aper, sluvios dum piscis amabit, + Semper honos, nomenque tuum laudesque manebunt. + +And the reader of taste will not hesitate to pronounce, that the copy +has much improved upon, and very far surpassed the original. In these +lines we also find the most striking instances of the beauties of +alliteration; and however some fastidious critics have affected to +undervalue this excellence, it is no small triumph to those of a +contrary sentiment to find, that next to our own incomparable author, +the most exalted genius of the present age, has not disdained to +borrow the assistance of this ornament, in many passages of the +beautiful dramatic treasure with which he has recently enriched the +stage. Is it necessary for us to add, that it is the new tragedy of +the Carmelite to which we allude?--A tragedy the beauties of which, we +will venture confidently to assert, will be admired and felt, when +those of Shakespeare, Dryden, Otway, Southerne, and Rowe, shall be no +longer held in estimation. As examples of alliterative beauty, we +shall select the following:-- + + The hand of heav'n hangs o'er me and my house, + To their untimely graves seven sons swept off. + +Again-- + + So much for tears--tho' twenty years they flow, + They wear no channels in a widow's cheek. + +The alternate alliteration of the second line, in this instance, +seems an improvement upon the art, to the whole merit of which +Mr. Cumberland is himself unquestionably entitled. + +Afterwards we read, + + ------Treasures hoarded up, + With carking care, and a long life of thrift. + +In addition to the alliterative merit, we cannot here fail to admire +the judiciously selected epithet of "_carking_;" and the two lines +immediately following, although no example of that merit, should not +be omitted: + + Now, without interest, or redemption swallow'd, + By the devouring bankrupt waves for ever. + +How striking is the comparison of the ocean, to a bankrupt swallowing +without interest or redemption, the property of his unfortunate +creditors! Where shall we find a simile of equal beauty, unless some +may possibly judge the following to be so, which is to be found in +another part of the same sublime work, of two persons weeping-- + + ------We will sit + Like fountain statues, face to face oppos'd, + And each to other tell our griefs in tears, + Yet neither utter word------ + +Our readers, we trust, will pardon our having been diverted from the +task we have undertaken, by the satisfaction of dwelling on a few of +the many beauties of this justly popular and universally admired +tragedy, which, in our humble opinion, infinitely surpasses every +other theatrical composition, being in truth an assemblage of every +possible dramatic excellence: nor do we believe, that any production, +whether of antient or modern date, can exhibit a more uncommon and +peculiar selection of language, a greater variety of surprising +incidents, a more rapid succession of extraordinary discoveries, a +more curious collection of descriptions, similies, metaphors, images, +storms, shipwrecks, challenges, and visions, or a more miscellaneous +and striking picture of the contending passions of love; hatred, +piety, madness, rage, jealousy, remorse, and hunger, than this +unparalleled performance presents to the admiration of the enraptured +spectator. Mr. Cumberland has been represented, perhaps unjustly, as +particularly jealous of the fame of his cotemporaries, but we are +persuaded he will not be offended when, in the ranks of modern +writers, we place him second only to the inimitable author of the +ROLLIAD. + +To return from the digression into which a subject so seducing has +involuntarily betrayed us. The reader will recollect, that in our last +we left MERLIN gratifying the curiosity of ROLLO, with a view of that +Assembly of which his Descendant is one day destined to become so +conspicuous an ornament. After having given the due preference to the +India-Bench, he proceeds to point out to him others of the most +distinguished supporters of the present virtuous administration. +Having already mentioned the most confidential friends of the +minister, he now introduces us to the acquaintance of an active young +Member, who has upon all occasions been pointedly severe upon the +noble Lord in the blue ribbon, and who is remarkable for never having +delivered his sentiments upon any subject, whether relating to the +East-Indies, the Reform of Parliament, or the Westminster Election, +without a copious dissertation upon the principles, causes, and +conduct of the American war. + + Lo! BEAYFOY rises, friend to soft repose; + Whose gentle accents prompt the house to dose: + His cadence just, a general sleep provokes, + Almost as quickly as SIR RICHARD's jokes. + Thy slumbers, NORTH, he strives in vain to break, + When all are sleeping, thou would'st scarce awake; + Though from his lips severe invectives fell, + Sharp as the acid he delights to sell. + +In explanation of the last line, it may be, perhaps, necessary to +apprise our readers, that this accomplished orator, although the +elegance of his diction, and smoothness of his manner, partake rather +of the properties of oil, is in his commercial capacity, a dealer in +vinegar. The speaker alluded to, under the name of Sir Richard, is +probably the same whom our author, upon the former occasion, stiled-- + + Sleep-giving poet of a sleepless night. + +The limits of our plan will not allow us to enlarge upon the various +beauties with which this part of the work abounds; we cannot, however, +omit the pathetic description of the SPEAKER's situation, nor the +admirable comparison of Lord MAHON preying on his patience, to the +vulture devouring the liver of Prometheus. The necessity of the +Speaker's continuing in the chair while the House sits, naturally +reminds our author of his favourite Virgil: + + ------sedet ternumque sedebit + Infelix Theseus. + + There CORNEWELL sits, and, oh unhappy fate! + Must sit for ever through the long debate; + Save, when compell'd by Nature's sovereign will, + Sometimes to empty, and sometimes to fill. + Painful pre-eminence! he hears, 'tis true, + FOX, NORTH, and BURKE, but hears SIR JOSEPH too. + +Then follows the simile-- + + Like sad PROMETHEUS, fasten'd to his rock, + In vain he looks for pity to the clock; + In vain the' effects of strengthening porter tries, + And nods to BELLAMY for fresh supplies; + While vulture-like, the dire MAHON appears, + And, far more savage, rends his suff'ring ears. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER X._ + +Amongst the various pretensions to critical approbation, which are to +be found in the excellent and never-sufficiently to be admired +production, which is the object of these comments, there is one that +will strike the classical observer as peculiarly prominent and +praise-worthy:--namely, the uncommon ability shown by the author, in the +selection of his heroes. The _person_ that are introduced in the +course of this poem, are characters that speak for themselves. The +very mention of their names is a summons to approbation; and the +relation of their history, if given in detail, would prove nothing +more than a lengthened panegyric. Who that has heard of the names of a +Jenkinson, a Robinson, or a Dundas, has not in the same breath heard +also what they are? This is the secret of our author's science and +excellence. It is this that enables him to omit the dull detail of +introductory explanation, and to fasten upon his business, if one may +use the expression, slap-dash and at once. + + Semper ad eventum festinat, et in medias res, + Non secus ac notas auditorum rapit. HOR. + +Homer himself yields, in this respect, to our author; for who would +not perceive the evident injustice done to the modern bard, if we were +to place the wisdom of an Ulysses on any competition with the +experience of a Pitt; to mention the bully Ajax, as half so genuine a +bully, as the bully Thurlow; if we were to look upon Nestor as having +a quarter of the interesting circumlocution of the ambiguous Nugent; +to consider Achilles as possessed of half the anger of a ROLLE; or to +suppose for a moment, that the famous {podas-okus} of antiquity, could +run nearly so fast in a rage, as the member for Devon in a fright; to +conceive the yellow-haired Paris to have had half the beauty of the +ten times more yellow-haired Villiers; to look upon Agamemnon as in +any degree so dictatorial to his chiefs as the high-minded Richmond; +to consider the friendship of Patroclus, as possessed of a millionth +portion of the disinterested attachment of a Dundas; to have any +conception that the chosen band of Thessalian Myrmidons, were to be +any way compared, in point of implicit submission, to the still more +dextrously chosen band of the Minister in the British House of +Commons. Or--but there is no end to so invidious a comparison; and we +will not expose poor Homer, to the farther mortification of pursuing +it. + +MERLIN proceeds in his relation, and fixes upon an object that will +not, we believe, prove any disgrace to our author's general judgment +of selection; namely, that worthy Baronet and universally admired wit, +Sir RICHARD HILL, of whom it may be truly said, + + ------Pariter pietate jocisque, + Egregius. + +He looks upon him as an individual meriting every distinction, and has +thought proper therefore, in the last edition of the ROLLIAD, though +the Baronet had been [1]slightly touched upon before, to enlarge what +was then said, into a more particular description. Speaking of Sir +Richard's style of elocution, our author observes-- + + With quaint formality of sacred smut, + His rev'rend jokes see pious RICHARD cut. + Let meaner talents from the Bible draw + Their faith, their morals These, and Those their law! + His lively genius finds in holy writ + A richer mine of unsuspected wit. + What never Jew, what never Christian taught, + What never fir'd one sectary's heated thought, + What not e'en [2]ROWLAND dream'd, he saw alone, + And to the wondering senate first made known; + How bright o'er mortal jokes the Scriptures shine + Resplendent Jest-book of bon-mots divine. + +This description will be readily felt, and we trust, not less +cordially admired, by all those who may have enjoyed the pleasure of +auricular evidence to Sir Richard's oratory. The thought of converting +the Bible into a _jest book_, is, we believe, quite new; and not more +original in itself, than characteristically just in its application to +the speaker. We all know that Saul affected insanity for the sake of +religion, in the early periods of our holy faith; and why so great an +example should not be imitated in later times, we leave it to the +prophane to shew. + +We know not whether it is worth observing, that the eloquence of this +illustrious family is not confined to Sir Richard alone; but that his +brother inherits the same gift, and, if possible, in a greater degree. +It is said, there is an intention of divesting this latter gentleman +of his clerical robe, and bringing him into the senate, as the avowed +competitor of our modern Cromwell. If this happy event should luckily +take place, we shall literally see the observation then realized, that +the Ministry will give to their wicked enemies, on the other side of +the House, what they have so long wanted and deserved. + + "------A _Rowland_ for their _Oliver_." + +This, however, by the way. Our author resumes his subject with the +following spirited apostrophe:-- + + Methinks I see him from the Bench arise, + His words all keenness, but all meek his eyes; + Define the good religion might produce, + Practise its highest excellence-abuse; + And with his tongue, that two-edg'd weapon, show, + At once the double worth of JOB and JOE. + +_Job_, as some of our more learned readers may know, is a book in the +Old Testament, and is used here _per synechdochen_, as a part for the +whole. Nothing can be more natural, than the preference given to this +book, on this occasion, as Sir Richard is well known in his speeches +to be so admirable an auxiliary to its precepts. The person of the +name of _Joe_, who has received so laconic a mention in the last line +of the above extract, will be recognized by the critical and the +intelligent, as the same individual who distinguished himself so +eminently in the sixteenth century, as a writer and a wit, namely, +Mr. Joseph Miller; a great genius, and an author, avowedly in the +highest estimation with our learned Baronet. + +The business of the composition goes on.--It is evident, however, +the poet was extremely averse to quit a subject upon which his +congenial talents reposed so kindly. He does not leave Sir Richard, +therefore, without the following finished and most high-wrought +compliment: + + With wit so various, piety so odd, + Quoting by turns from Miller and from God; + Shall no distinction wait thy honour'd name? + No lofty epithet transmit thy fame? + Forbid it wit, from mirth refin'd away! + Forbid it Scripture, which thou mak'st so gay! + SCIPIO, we know, was AFRICANUS call'd, + RICHARD styl'd LONG-SHANKS--CHARLES surnam'd the BALD; + Shall these for petty merits be renown'd, + And no proud phrase, with panegyric sound, + Swell thy short name, great HILL?--Here take thy due, + And hence be call'd the' SCRIPTURAL KILLIGREW. + +The administration of baptism to adults, is quite consonant to +Sir Richard's creed; and we are perfectly satisfied, there is not a +Member in the House of Commons that will not stand sponsor for him on +this honourable occasion. Should any one ask him in future,--Who gave +you that name? Sir Richard may fairly and truly reply, My Godfathers, +&c. and quote the whole of the lower assembly, as coming under that +description. + +MERLIN, led, as may easily be supposed, by sympathy of rank, talents, +and character, now pointed his wand to another worthy baronet, hardly +less worthy of distinction than the last personage himself, namely, +Sir JOSEPH MAWBEY. Of him the author sets out with saying, + + Let this, ye wise, be ever understood, + SIR JOSEPH is as witty as he's good.-- + +Here, for the first time, the annotators upon this immortal poem, find +themselves compelled, in critical justice to own, that the author has +not kept entire pace with the original which he has affected to +imitate. The distich, of which the above is a parody, was composed by +the worthy hero of this part of the ROLLIAD, the amiable Sir Joseph +himself, and runs thus: + + Ye ladies, of your hearts beware: + SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair. + +How kind, and how discreet a caution! This couplet, independent of its +other merits, possesses a recommendation not frequently found in +poetry, the transcendant ornament of Truth. How far, indeed, +the falshood of this respectable individual has been displayed in his +gallantries, it is not the province of sober criticism to enquire. +We take up the assertion with a large comprehension, and with a +stricter eye to general character-- + + SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair.------ + +Is it necessary to challenge, what no one will be absurd enough to +give--a contradiction to so acknowledged a truth? Or is it necessary +to state to the fashionable reader, that whatever may be the degree of +Sir Joseph's boasted falshood, it cannot surpass the fairness of +his complexion? The position, therefore, is what logicians call +convertible: nothing can equal his falshood but his fairness; +nothing his fairness but his falshood.--Incomparable! + +Proceeding to a description of his eloquence, he says, + + A sty of pigs, though all at once it squeaks, + Means not so much as MAWBEY when he speaks; + And his'try says, he never yet had bred + A pig with such a voice or such a head! + Except, indeed, when he essays to joke; + And then his wit is truly pig-in-poke. + +Describing Sir Joseph's acquisitions as a scholar, the author adds, + + His various knowledge I will still maintain, + He is indeed a knowing man in grain. + +Some commentators have invidiously suggested, that the last line of +this couplet should be printed thus, + + He is indeed a knowing man-in grain: + +assigning as their reason, that the phrase in grain evidently alludes +to bran, with which Sir Joseph's little grunting commonwealth is +supported; and for the discreet and prudent purchase of which our +worthy baronet is famous. + +Our author concludes his description of this great senator with +the following distich: + + Such adaptation ne'er was seen before, + His trade a hog is, and his wit--a boar. + +It has been proposed to us to amend the spelling: of the last word, +thus, _bore_; this improvement, however, as it was called, we reject +as a calumny. + +Where the beauty of a passage is pre-eminently striking as above, we +waste not criticism in useless efforts at emendation. + +The writer goes on. He tells you he cannot quit this history of wits, +without saying something of another individual; whom, however, he +describes as every way inferior to the two last-mentioned, but who, +nevertheless, possesses some pretensions to a place in the ROLLIAD. +The individual alluded to, is Mr. GEORGE SELWYN. The author describes +him as a man possessed of + + A plenteous magazine of retail wit + Vamp'd up at leisure for some future hit; + Cut for suppos'd occasions, like the trade, + Where old new things for every shape are made! + To this assortment, well prepar'd at home, + No human chance unfitted e'er can come; + No accident, however strange or queer, + But meets its ready well-kept comment here. + --The wary beavers thus their stores increase, + And spend their winter on their summer's grease. + +The whole of the above description will doubtless remind the classic +reader of the following beautiful passage in the Tusculan Questions of +Cicero: _Nescio quomodo inhret in mentibus quasi sculorum_ quoddam +augurium futurorum--_idque in_ maximis ingeniis altissimisque animis +_existit maxime et apparet facillime_. This will easily account for +the system of previous fabrication so well known as the character of +Mr. Selwyn's jokes. Speaking of an accident that befel this gentleman +in the _wars_, our author proceeds thus: + + Of old, when men from fevers made escape, + They sacrific'd a cock to SCULAPE: + Thus, Love's hot fever now for ever o'er, + The prey of amorous malady no more, + SELWYN remembers what his tutor taught, + That old examples ever should be sought! + And, gaily grateful, to his surgeon cries, + "I've given to you the Ancient Sacrifice." + +The delicacy with which this historical incident is pourtrayed, +would of itself have been sufficient to transmit our author's merit +to posterity: and with the above extract we shall finish the present +number of our commentaries. + +[1] See No. III. + +[2] The Reverend Rowland Hill, brother of Sir Richard. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XI._ + +The next person among the adherents of the Minister, whom MERLIN now +points out to the notice of ROLLO, is SIR SAMUEL HANNAY, Baronet, +a name recollected with great gratitude in the House: for there are +few Members in it to whom he has not been serviceable. This worthy +character indeed has done more to disprove Martial's famous assertion, + + Non cuicunque datum est habere _nasum_, + +than any individual upon record. + +The author proceeds-- + + But why, my HANNAY, does the ling'ring Muse + The tribute of a line to thee refuse? + Say, what distinction most delights thine ear, + Or _Philo-Pill_, or _Philo-Minister?_ + Oh! may'st thou none of all thy titles lack, + Or Scot, or Statesman, Baronet or Quack; + For what is due to him, whose constant view is + _Preventing_ private, or a public _lues?_ + +Who, that read the above description, do not, during the first +impression of it, suppose that they see the worthy Baronet once more +the pride of front advertisements--once more dispensing disregard and +oblivion amongst all his competitors; and making your Leakes, your +Lockyers, and your Velnos, + + --Hide their diminish'd heads.-- + +In the passages which immediately follow, the poet goes on to +felicitate the community upon the probable advantages to be derived to +them from the junction of this illustrious personage with our +immaculate Minister. He divides his congratulations into two parts. +He first considers the consequence of the union, as they may affect +the body personal; and secondly, as they may concern the body politic. +Upon the former subject, he says, + + This famous pair, in happy league combin'd, + No risques shall man from wand'ring beauty find; + For, should not chaste example save from ill, + There's still a refuge in the other's pill. + +With a sketch equally brief and masterly as the above, he describes +his hopes on the other branch of his division. + + The body politic no more shall grieve + The motley stains that dire corruptions leave; + No dang'rous humours shall infest the state, + Nor _rotten Members_ hasten Britain's fate. + +Our author who, notwithstanding his usual and characteristic gravity, +has yet not un-frequently an obvious tendency to the sportive, +condescends now to take notice of a rumour, which in these times had +been universally circulated, that Sir Samuel bad parted with his +specific, and disposed of it to a gentleman often mentioned, and +always with infinite and due respect, in the ROLLIAD, namely, +Mr. Dundas.--Upon this he addresses Sir Samuel with equal truth and +good-humour in the following couplet: + + Then shall thy med'cine boast its native bent, + Then spread its genuine blessing--_to prevent_. + +Our readers cannot but know, it was by the means of a nostrum, +emphatically called a _Specific_, that Mr. Dundas so long contrived to +prevent the constitutional lues of a _Parliamentary Reform_. The +author, however, does not profess, to give implicit credit to the fact +of Sir Samuel's having ungratefully disposed of his favourite recipe, +the happy source of his livelihood and fame; the more so, as it +appears that Mr. Dundas had found the very word _specific_ sufficient +for protracting a dreadful political evil on the three several +instances of its application. Under this impression of the thing, +the poet strongly recommends Sir Samuel to go on in the prosecution +of his original profession, and thus expresses his wish upon +the occasion, with the correct transcript of which we shall close +the history of this great man: + + In those snug corners be thy skill display'd, + Where Nature's tribute modestly is paid: + Or near fam'd Temple-bar may some good dame, } + Herself past sport, but yet a friend to game, } + Disperse thy bills, and eternize thy fame. } + +MERLIN now calls the attention of our hero to a man whom there is +little doubt this country will long remember, and still less, that +they will have abundant reason for so doing, namely, Mr. SECRETARY +ORDE. It may seem odd by what latent association our author was led to +appeal next to the Right Honourable Secretary, immediately after the +description of a Quack Doctor; but let it be recollected in the first +place, to the honour of Sir Samuel Hannay, that he is, perhaps, +the only man of his order that ever had a place in the British House +of Commons; and in the second, that there are some leading +circumstances in the character of Mr. Orde, which will intitle him to +rank under the very same description as the worthy Baronet himself. +We all know that the most famous of all physicians, _Le Medecin malgr +lui_, is represented by Moliere, as a mart who changes the seat of the +heart, and reverses the intire position of the vital parts of the +human body. Now let it be asked, has not Mr. Orde done this most +completely and effectually with respect to the general body of the +state? Has he not transferred the heart of the empire? Has he not +changed its circulation, and altered the situation of the vital part +of the whole, from the left to the right, from the one side to the +other, from Great Britain to Ireland?--Surely no one will deny this; +and therefore none will be now ignorant of the natural gradation of +thought, by which our author was led, from the contemplation of Sir +Samuel Hannay, to the character of Mr. Orde. + +We know not whether it be worth remarking, that the term _Le Medecin +malgr lui_, has been translated into English with the usual +incivility of that people to every thing foreign, by the uncourtly +phrase of _Mock Doctor_. We trust, however, that no one will think it +applicable in this interpretation to Mr. Orde, as it is pretty evident +he has displayed no mockery in his State Practices, but has performed +the character of Moliere's _Medecin_, even beyond the notion of the +original; by having effected in sad and sober truth, to the full as +complete a change in the position of the _Coeur de l'Empire_, as the +lively fancy of the dramatist had imputed to his physician, with +respect to the human body, in mere speculative joke. + +With a great many apologies for so long a note, we proceed now to the +much more pleasant part of our duty--that of transcribing from this +excellent composition; and proceed to the description of Mr. Orde's +person, which the poet commences thus: + + Tall and erect, unmeaning, mute, and pale, + O'er his blank face no gleams of thought prevail; + Wan as the man in classic story fam'd, + Who told old PRIAM that his Ilion flam'd; + Yet soon the time will come when speak he hall, + And at his voice another Ilion fall! + +The excellence of this description consists as that of a portrait +always must, in a most scrupulous and inveterate attention to +likeness.--Those who know the original, will not question the accuracy +of resemblance on this occasion. The idea conveyed in the last line, + + And at his voice another Ilion fall, + +is a spirited imitation of the _fuimus Troes, fuit Ilium_, of Virgil, +and a most statesmanlike anticipation of the future fate of England. + +The author now takes an opportunity of shewing the profundity of his +learning in British history. He goes on to say, + + CSAR, we know, with anxious effort try'd + To swell, with Britain's name, his triumph's pride: + Oft he essay'd, but still essay'd in vain; + Great in herself, she mock'd the menac'd chain. + But fruitless all--for what was CSAR's sword + To thy all-conquering speeches, mighty ORDE!!! + +Our author cannot so far resist his classical propensity in this +place, as to refrain from the following allusion; which, however, must +be confessed at least, to be applied with justice. + + AMPHION's lyre, they say, could raise a town; + ORDE's elocution pulls a Nation down. + +He proceeds with equal spirit and erudition to another circumstance +in the earlier periods of English history, + + The lab'ring bosom of the teeming North + Long pour'd, in vain, her valiant offspring forth; + For GOTH or VANDAL, once on British shore, + Relax'd his nerve, and conquer'd states no more. + Not so the VANDAL of the modern time, + This latter offspring of the Northern clime; + He, with a breath, gives Britain's wealth away, + And smiles, triumphant, o'er her setting ray. + +It will be necessary to observe here, that after much enquiry and very +laborious search, as to the birth-place of the Right Honourable +Secretary (for the honour of which, however difficult now to discover, +Hibernia's cities will, doubtless, hereafter contend) we found that he +was born in NORTHUMBERLAND; which, added to other circumstances, +clearly establishes the applicability of the description of the word +_Goth_, &c. and particularly in the lines where he calls him the + + ------VANDAL of the modern time, + The latter offspring of the Northern clime. + +Having investigated, with an acumen and minuteness seldom incident to +genius, and very rarely met with in the sublimer poetry, all the +circumstances attending an event which he emphatically describes as +the _Revolution_ of seventeen hundred and eighty-five, he makes the +following address to the English: + + No more, ye English, high in classic pride, + The phrase uncouth of Ireland's sons deride; + For say, ye wise, which most performs the fool, + Or he who _speaks_, or he who _acts_--a BULL. + +The Poet catches fire as he runs: + + --Poetica surgit + Tempestas. + +He approximates now to the magnificent, or perhaps more properly to +the _mania_ of Poetry, and like another Cassandra, begins to try his +skill at prophecy; like her he predicts truly, and like her, for the +present at least, is not, perhaps, very implicitly credited.--He +proceeds thus; + + Rapt into future times, the Muse surveys + The rip'ning; wonders of succeeding days: + Sees Albion prostrate, all her splendour gone! + In useless tears her pristine state bemoan; + Sees the fair sources of her pow'r and pride + In purer channels roll their golden tide; + Sees her at once of wealth and honour shorn, + No more the nations' envy, but their scorn; + A sad example of capricious fate, + Portentous warning to the proud and great: + Sees Commerce quit her desolated isle, + And seek in other climes a kinder soil; + Sees fair Ierne rise from England's flame, + And build on British ruin, Irish fame. + +The Poet in the above passage, is supposed to have had an eye to +Juno's address to olus in the first book of the neid: + + Gens inimica mihi Tyrrhenum navigat quor + _Ilium_ in _Italiam_ portans, _Victos_ que _Penates_. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XII._ + +Though we have at length nearly exhausted the beauties of that part +of our author's work, in which the characters of the leading Members +of the House of Commons are so poetically and forcibly delineated; +we shall find, however, that the genius of the poet seems to receive +fresh vigour, as he approaches the period of his exertions, in the +illustrious Mr. ROLLE. What can be more sublime or picturesque than +the following description! + + Erect in person, see yon Knight advance, + With trusty 'Squire, who bears his shield and lance; + The Quixote HOWARD! Royal Windsor's pride, + And Sancho Panca POWNEY by his side; + A monarch's champion, with indignant frown, + And haughty mein, he casts his gauntlet down; + Majestic sits, and hears, devoid of dread, + The dire Phillippicks whizzing round his head. + Your venom'd shafts, ye sons of Faction spare; + However keen, they cannot enter there. + +And how well do these lines, immediately succeeding, describe +the manner of speaking, which characterizes an orator of such +considerable weight and authority: + + He speaks, he speaks! Sedition's chiefs around, + With unfeign'd terror hear the solemn sound; + While little POWNEY chears with livelier note, + And shares his triumph in a silent vote. + +Some have ignorantly objected to this as an instance of that figure +for which a neighbouring kingdom is so generally celebrated, vulgarly +distinguished by the appellation of a _Bull_; erroneously conceiving a +silent vote to be incompatible with the vociferation here alluded to: +those, however, who have attended parliamentary debates, will inform +them, that numbers who most loudly exert themselves, in what is called +_chearing_ speakers, are not upon that account entitled to be +themselves considered as such.--Our author has indeed done injustice +to the worthy member in question, by classing him among the number of +mutes, he having uniformly taken a very active part in all debates +relating to the militia; of which truly constitutional body, he is a +most respectable Pillar, and one of the most conspicuous ornaments. + +It is unquestionably the highest praise we can bestow upon a member of +the British House of Commons, to say, that he is a faithful +representative of the people, and upon all occasions speaks the real +sentiments of his constituents; nor can an honest ambition to attain +the first dignities of the state, by honourable means, be ever imputed +to him as a crime. The following encomium, therefore, must be +acknowledged to have been justly merited by a noble Lord, whose +independent and disinterested conduct has drawn upon him the censures +of disappointed faction. + + The Noble CONVERT, Berwick's honour'd choice, + That faithful echo of the people's voice, + One day, to gain an Irish title glad, + For Fox he voted--so the people bad; + 'Mongst English Lords ambitious grown to sit, + Next day the people bade him vote for PITT: + To join the stream our Patriot, nothing loth, + By turns discreetly gave his voice to both. + +The title of Noble convert, which was bestowed upon his Lordship by a +Speaker of the degraded Whig faction, is here most judiciously adopted +by our Author, implying thereby that this denomination, intended, +no doubt, to convey a severe reproach, ought rather to be considered +as a subject of panegyric: this is turning the artillery of the enemy +against themselves-- + + "Neque lex est justior ulla, &c." + +In the next character introduced, some persons may perhaps object to +the seeming impropriety of alluding to a bodily defect; especially one +which has been the consequence of a most cruel accident; but when it +is considered, that the mention of the personal imperfection is made +the vehicle of an elegant compliment to the superior qualifications of +the mind, this objection, though founded in liberality, will naturally +fall to the ground. + +The circumstance of one of the Representatives of the first city in +the world having lost his leg, while bathing in the sea, by the bite +of a shark, is well known; nor can the dexterity with which he avails +himself of the use of an artificial one, have escaped the observation +of those who have seen him in the House of Commons, any more than the +remarkable humility with which he is accustomed to introduce his very +pointed and important observations upon the matters in deliberation +before that august assembly. + + "One moment's time might I presume to beg?" + Cries modest WATSON, on his wooden leg; + That leg, in which such wond'rous art is shown, + It almost seems to serve him like his own; + Oh! had the monster, who for breakfast eat + That luckless limb, his nobler noddle met, + The best of workmen, nor the best of wood, + Had scarce supply'd him with a head so good. + +To have asserted that neither the utmost extent of human skill, nor +the greatest perfection in the materials, could have been equal to an +undertaking so arduous, would have been a species of adulation so +fulsome, as to have shocked the known modesty of the worthy +magistrate; but the forcible manner in which the difficulty of +supplying so capital a loss is expressed, conveys, with the utmost +delicacy, a handsome, and, it must be confessed, a most justly merited +compliment to the Alderman's abilities. + +The imitation of celebrated writers is recommended by Longinus, +and has, as our readers must have frequently observed, been practised +with great success, by our author; yet we cannot help thinking that +he has pushed the precept of this great critic somewhat too far, +in having condescended to copy, may we venture to say with so much +servility, a genius so much inferior to himself as Mr. Pope. We allude +to the following lines: + + Can I, NEWHAVEN, FERGUSON forget, + While Roman spirit charms, or Scottish wit? + MACDONALD, shining a refulgent star, + To light alike the senate and the bar; + And HARLEY, constant to support the throne, + Great follower of its interests and his own. + +The substitution of _Scottish_ for _Attic_, in the second line, is +unquestionably an improvement, since however Attic wit may have been +proverbial in ancient times, the natives of Scotland are so +confessedly distinguished among modern nations for this quality, that +the alteration certainly adds considerable force to the compliment. +But however happily and justly the characters are here described, +we cannot think this merit sufficient to counterbalance the objection +we have presumed to suggest, and which is principally founded upon the +extreme veneration and high respect we entertain for the genius +of our author. + +Mr. Addison has observed, that Virgil falls infinitely short of Homer +in the characters of his Epic Poem, both as to their variety and +novelty, but he could not with justice have said the same of the +author of the ROLLIAD; and we will venture to assert, that the single +book of this Poem, now under our consideration, is, in this respect, +superior to the whole, both of the Iliad and the neid together. +The characters succeed each other with a rapidity that scarcely allows +the reader time to admire and feel their several beauties. + + GALWAY and GIDEON, in themselves a host, + Of York and Coventry the splendid boast: + WHITBREAD and ONGLEY, pride of Bedford's vale, + This fam'd for selling, that for saving ale; + And NANCY POULETT, as the morning fair, + Bright as the sun, but common as the air; + Inconstant nymph! who still with open arms, + To ev'ry Minister devotes her charms. + +But when the Poet comes to describe the character of the hero of his +work, the present Member for the county of Devon, whom MERLIN points +out to his illustrious ancestor, as uniting in himself all the Various +merits of the worthies whose excellencies he has recorded, he seems to +rise even above himself.--It is impossible to do justice to his +character, without transcribing the whole, which would exceed the +limits of our work; we shall therefore only give to our readers the +concluding lines, because they contain characteristic observations +upon other distinguished Members, most of whom have hitherto passed +unnoticed: + + In thee, my son, shall ev'ry virtue meet, + To form both senator and man complete: + A mind like WRAY's, with stores of fancy fraught, + The wise Sir WATKIN's vast extent of thought; + Old NUGENT's style, sublime, yet ne'er obscure, + With BAMBER's Grammar, as his conscience pure; + BRETT's brilliant sallies, MARTIN's sterling sense, + And GILBERT's wit, that never gave offence: + Like WILKES, a zealot in his Sovereign's cause, + Learn'd as MACDONALD in his country's laws; + Acute as AUDREY, as Sir LLOYD polite, + As EASTWICKE lively, and as AMBLER bright. + +The justice of [1] the compliment to SIR CECIL WRAY, will not be +disputed by those who have been fortunate enough to have met with the +beautiful specimens of juvenile poetry, with which some of his friends +have lately indulged the public. + +Johannes Scriblerus, a lineal descendant of the learned and celebrated +Martinus, reads "Starling Martin's sense," alluding to that powerful +opponent of the detestable Coalition having recommended that a bird of +that species should be placed on the right of the Speaker's chair, +after having been taught to repeat the word Coalition, in order to +remind the House of that disgraceful event, which had nearly +established an efficient and strong government in this country: to +which severe and admirable stroke of satire, the object of it clumsily +and uncivilly answered, that whilst that gentleman sat in the House, +he believed the Starling might be allowed to perform his office by +deputy. We have, however, ventured to differ from this great authority, +and shall continue to read, "Martin's Sterling sense," as well +because we are of opinion that these words are peculiarly applicable +to the gentleman alluded to, as that it does not appear probable our +author should have been willing to make his poem the vehicle of an +indecent sarcasm, upon a person of such eminent abilities. + +The compliment to Mr. B.G. in the comparison of the purity of his +language to the integrity of his conduct, is happily conceived; +but that to the ingenious Mr. Gilbert, the worthy Chairman of the +Committee of Supply, is above all praise, and will, we are persuaded, +notwithstanding the violence of party, by all sides be admitted to be +strictly just. + +[1] The characteristic of _Fancy_, which our Poet has attributed to +Sir Cecil, must not be misunderstood. It is a Fancy of the chastized +kind; distinguished for that elegant simplicity, which the French call +_navet_, and the Greeks {apheleia}. We shall insert here two or +three of the shorter specimens. + + _To_ CLIA _(now Lady_ Wray) _on seeing her the 8th of August, 1776, + powdering her hair_ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don't never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + + _To_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing, in consequence of a previous + Engagement, a Party to go a-fishing for White-Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing + You'll come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + + _A Thought on_ NEW MILK _some Time toward the Spring of the Year + 1773._ + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar!--smooth as silk! + + _An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my Coals by peck, that we + May have 'em _fresh_ and _fresh_, d'ye see. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +After concluding the review of the Ministerialists with the young +Marcellus of the Poem, the illustrious Mr. ROLLE; our author directs +the attention of DUKE ROLLO to the Opposition-bench. He notices the +cautious silence of MERLIN relative to that side of the House, and +rather inquisitively asks the reason; on which the Philosopher +(a little unphilosophically, we must confess) throws himself into a +violent passion, and for a long time is wholly incapable of +articulating a syllable. This is a common situation in poets both +ancient and modern, as in Virgil and Milton; + + Ter conata loqui, &c. + Thrice he essay'd, and thrice in spight of scorn + Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth, &c. + +but we will venture to assert, that it was never painted in a manner +half so lively, as by the author of the ROLLIAD. + + Thrice he essay'd, but thrice in vain essay'd; + His tongue, throat, teeth, and lips, refus'd their aid: + Till now the stifled breath a passage broke; + He gasp'd, he gap'd--but not a word he spoke. + +How accurately, and learnedly, has the poet enumerated all the organs +of speech, which separately and jointly refuse to execute their +respective offices! How superior is this to the simply cleaving of the +tongue to the palate, the _Vox faucibus hsit_ of Virgil. For as +Quintilian observes, a detail of particulars is infinitely better than +any general expression, however strong. Then the poor Prophet obtains +a little remission of his paroxysm; he begins to breathe +convulsively--_he gasped_; he opens his mouth to its utmost +extent--_he gaped_; our expectations are raised, and, alas! he still +continues unable to utter--_not a word he spoke_. Surely nothing can +be more natural in point of truth, than all the circumstances of this +inimitable description: nothing more artful in point of effect, than +the suspence and attention which it begets in the mind of the reader! + +At length, however, MERLIN recovers his voice; and breaks out into a +strain of most animated invective, infinitely superior to every thing +of the kind in Homer; though the old Grecian must be acknowledged not +to want spirit in the altercations, or scolding matches, of his heroes +and Gods. The Prophet begins, as a man in any great emotion always +must, at the middle of a verse; + + ------ ------ ------Tatterdemalions, + Scald miserables, Rascals and Rascalions, + Buffoons, Dependants, Parasites, Toad-eaters, + Knaves, Sharpers, Black-legs, Palmers, Coggers, Cheaters, + Scrubs, Vagrants, Beggars, Mumpers, Ragamuffins, + Rogues, Villains, Bravos, Desperados, Ruffians, + Thieves, Robbers, Cut-throats, &c. &c. &c. + +And in this manner he proceeds, with single appellatives of reproach, +for ten or twelve lines further; when, his virtuous indignation a +little subsiding, or his Dictionary failing, he becomes more +circumlocutory; as for instance, + + Burglarious Scoundrels, that again would steal + The PREMIER's Plate, and CHANCELLOR's Great Seal; + Of public Murderers, Patrons and Allies, + Hirelings of France, their country's enemies, &c. + +which style he continues for more than twenty lines. + +We are truly sorry, that the boundaries of our plan would not allow us +to present our readers with the whole of this finished passage in +detail; as it furnishes an indisputable proof, that, however the Greek +language may have been celebrated for its copiousness, it must yield +in that respect to the English. For if we were to collect all the +terms of infamy bandied about[1], from schines to Demosthenes, and +from Demosthenes back again to schines; and if to these we should +add in Latin the whole torrent of calumny poured by Cicero on Antony +and Piso; though the ancient orators were tolerably fluent in this +kind of eloquence, they would, all together, be found to fall very +short of our poet, shackled as he is with rhyme, in the force no less +than the variety of his objurgatory epithets. At the same time it must +not be concealed, that he possessed one very considerable advantage in +the rich repositories of our ministerial newspapers. He has culled the +flowers, skimmed the cream, and extracted the very quintessence of +those elegant productions with equal industry and success. Indeed, +such of our readers as are conversant with the Morning Post and Public +Advertiser, the White-Hall, the St. James's, and, in short, the +greater part of the evening prints, will immediately discover the +passage now before us to be little more than a cento. It is however +such a cento as indicates the man of genius, whom puny scribblers may +in vain endeavour to imitate in the NEW ROLLIADS. + +It is possible, MERLIN might even have gone on much longer: but he is +interrupted by one of those disturbances which frequently prevail in +the House of Commons. The confusion is finely described in the +following broken couplet: + + Spoke! Spoke!--Sir--Mr. Speaker--Order there! + I rise--spoke! Question! Question!--Chair! Chair! Chair! + +This incident is highly natural, and introduced with the greatest +judgment, as it gives another opportunity of exhibiting Mr. ROLLE, and +in a situation, where he always appears with conspicuous pre-eminence. + + Great ROLLO look'd, amaz'd; nor without fears, + His hands applied by instinct to his ears: + He look'd, and lo! amid the wild acclaim + Discern'd the future glory of his name; + O'er this new Babel of the noisy croud, + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + Him yet he heard, with thund'ring voice contend, + "Him first, him last, him midst, him without end." + +This concluding line our author has condescended to borrow from +Milton; but how apposite and forcible is the application! How +emphatically does it express the noble perseverance with which the +Member for Devonshire has been known to persist on these occasions, +in opposition to the Speaker himself. + +ROLLO, however, is at length wearied, as the greatest admirers +of Mr. ROLLE have sometimes been, with the triumphs of his +illustrious descendant. + + But ROLLO, as he clos'd his ears before, + Now tired, averts his eyes to see no more. + Observant MERLIN, while he turn'd his head, + The lantern shifted, and the vision fled. + +To understand this last line, our reader must recollect, that though +the characters introduced in this vision are preternaturally endowed +with seeming powers of speech, yet the forms or shadows of them are +shewn by means of a magic lantern. + +Having now concluded our observations upon this part of the Poem--we +shall close them with remarking, that as our author evidently borrowed +the idea of this vision, in which the character of future times are +described, from Virgil, he has far surpassed his original; and as his +description of the present House of Commons, may not improbably have +called to his mind the Pandmonium of Milton, we do not scruple to +assert, that in the execution of his design, that great master of the +sublime has fallen infinitely short of him. + +[1] More particularly in their two famous orations, which, are +entitled "_On the Crown._" + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +Our readers may possibly think, that verses enough have been already +devoted to the celebration of Mr. ROLLE; the Poet, however, is not of +the same opinion. To crown the whole, he now proceeds to commemorate +the column which is shortly to be erected on the spot, where the +Member for Devonshire formerly went to School, application having been +made to Parliament for leave to remove the school from its present +situation; and a motion being intended to follow, for appropriating a +sum of money to mark the scene and record the fact of Mr. ROLLE's +education, for the satisfaction of posterity, who might otherwise have +been left in a state of uncertainty, whether this great man had any +education at all. + +MERLIN first shews ROLLO the school. The transition to this object +from the present House of Commons is easy and obvious. Indeed, the +striking similarity between the two visions is observed by ROLLO in +the following passage: + + The Hero sees, thick-swarming round the place, + In bloom of early youth, a busy race; + _Propria qu maribus_, with barbarous sound, + _Syntax_ and _prosody_ his ear confound, + "And say (he cries), Interpreter of fate, + Oh! say, is this some jargon of debate? + What means the din, and what the scene? proclaim; + Is this another vision, or the same? + For trust me, Prophet, to my ears, my eyes, + A second House of Commons seems to rise." + +MERLIN however rectifies the mistake of the good Duke: and points out +to him his great descendant, in the shape of a lubberly boy, as +remarkably mute on this occasion, as we lately found him in the House, + + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + +The flaggellation of Mr. ROLLE succeeds, which, as MERLIN informs +ROLLO, is his daily discipline. The sight of the rod, which the +Pdagogue flourishes with a degree of savage triumph over the exposed, +and bleeding youth, awakens all the feelings of the ancestor: + + Stay, monster, stay! he cries in hasty mood, + Throw that dire weapon down--behold my blood! + +We quote this couplet the rather, because it proves our author to be +as good a Critic as a Poet. For the last line is undoubtedly a new +reading of Virgil's, + + Projice tela manu,--Sanguis meus! + +And how much more spirited is this interpretation, + + ------ ------ ------Behold my blood! + +than the commonly received construction of the Latin words, by which +they are made to signify simply, "O my son!" and that too with the +assistance of a poetical licence. There is not a better emendation in +all the Virgilius Restauratus of the learned Martinus Scriblerus. + +On the exclamation of ROLLO, which we have just quoted, the Prophet, +perceiving that he has moved his illustrious visitor a little too far, +administers every consolation, + + "Thy care dismiss (the Seer replied, and smil'd) + Tho' rods awhile may weal the sacred child, + In vain ten thousand [1]BUSBIES should employ + Their pedant arts his genius to destroy; + In vain at either end thy ROLLE assail, + To learning proof alike at head and tail." + +Accordingly this assurance has its proper effect in calming the mind +of the Duke. + +But the great topic of comfort, or we should rather say of exultation, +to him, is the prophecy of the column, with which MERLIN concludes his +speech: + + Where now he suffers, on this hallow'd land, + A Column, public Monument, shall stand: + And many a bard around the sculptur'd base, + In many a language his renown shall trace; + In French, Italian, Latin, and in Greek; + That all, whose curious search this spot shall seek, + May read, and reading tell at home, return'd, + How much great ROLLE was flogg'd, how little learn'd. + +What a noble, and what a just character of the great ROLLE is +contained in the last line! A mind tinctured with modern prejudices +may be at a loss to discover the compliment. But our author is a man +of erudition and draws his ideas from ancient learning, even where he +employs that learning, like [2]Erasmus and the admirable Creichton, +in praise of ignorance. Our classical readers, therefore, will see in +this portrait of Mr. ROLLE, the living resemblance of the ancient +Spartans; a people the pride of Greece, and admiration of the world, +who are peculiarly distinguished in history for their systematic +contempt of the fine arts, and the patience with which they taught +their children to bear floggings. + +The School now vanishes, and the Column rises, properly adorned with +the inscriptions, which the philosopher explains. But as we have been +favoured with correct copies of the inscriptions themselves, which +were selected from a much greater number composed by our universities, +we shall here desert our Poet, and present the public with the +originals. + +The two first are in Greek; and agreeably to the usual style of Greek +inscriptions, relate the plain fact in short and simple, but elegant +and forcible, phraseology. + + {Ode to Rhetorikes deinon stoma thauma te Bules, + Prota DEBONIZEIN apemanthane pais pote ROLLOS.} + +The word {Debonizein} is not to be found in our Lexicons; but we +presume, that it means, "to speak the dialect of Devonshire;" from +{Debonia}, which is Greek for Devonshire. Accordingly, we have so +rendered it in a translation, which we have attempted for the benefit +of the country gentlemen and the ladies. + + The senate's wonder, ROLLE [3]of mighty tongue, + Here first his Devonshire unlearn'd when young. + +How simple, yet how full, is the expression of this distich! +How perfectly does it agree with the notion, which our poet has +inculcated, of Mr. ROLLE! He was employed at school not to learn but +to unlearn; his whole progress, was, like a crab's, backward. + +There is a beauty in the Greek which it is impossible to preserve in +English; the word which we have translated "_unlearned_," is in the +imperfect tense: and, in the nicety of that accurate language implies, +that the action was begun, but not completed; that Mr. ROLLE made some +proficiency in unlearning his Devonshire; but had not effectually +accomplished it during his stay at the school. + +The other Greek inscription has something more ingenious, from a +seeming paradox in the turn of it: + + {Outus o mepote pou ti mathon pros metinos, ode + Pais pote ROLLIADES, ossaper oid, emathen.} + + He, who to learning nothing owes, + Here ROLLE, a boy, learn'd all he knows. + +By which concluding word "_knows_," we must certainly understand +acquired knowledge only; since Mr. ROLLE has been celebrated by our +Poet in the most unequivocal manner, as may be seen in the twelfth +number of our Criticisms, for his great natural faculties. The sense +of this last Epigram will then be merely, that the Member for +Devonshire had no particle of acquired knowledge; but is an +{autodidaktos}, a self-taught scholar, a character so much admired in +ancient times. The Latin inscription is as follows: + + Hic ferul, dextram, hc, virgis cdenda magistri, + Nuda dedit patiens tergora ROLLIADES. + At non ROLLIADEN domuerunt verbera; non, qu + Nescio quid gravius prmonuere, min, + Ah! quoties illum qualis mirata corona est + Nec lacrymam in pnis rumpere, nec gemitum! + Ah! quoties, cum supplicio jam incumberet, ipsi + [4]Orbillo cecidit victa labore manus! + I, puer; I, forti tolerando pectore plagas, + mula ROLLIAD nomina disce sequi. + + Here to the ferule ROLLE his hand resign'd, + Here to the rod he bar'd the parts behind; + But him no stripes subdu'd, and him no fear + Of menac'd wrath in future more severe. + How oft the youthful circle wond'ring saw + That pain from him nor tear, nor groan could draw! + How oft, when still unmoved, he long'd to jerk, + The master's wearied hand forsook the work! + Go, boy; and scorning rods, or ferules, aim + By equal worth to rival ROLLE in fame. + +The beauty of these lines, we presume, is too obvious to require any +comment. We will confidently affirm, that they record as glorious an +example of patience as any to be found in all the History of the +Flagellants, though the ingenious M. De Lolme has extended the subject +into a handsome Quarto. + +The Italian inscription is a kind of short dialogue, in which the +traveller is introduced, demanding the name of the person to whom +the pillar is erected. + + A chi si sta questa colonna? Al ROLLE; + Che di parlar apprese in questo loco + Greco e Latino n, ma Inglese--un poco. + Basta cos. Chi non sa il resto, folle. + +This abrupt conclusion we think very fine. It has however been +censured as equivocal. Some critics have urged, that the same turn +has, in fact, been applied equally to men greatly famous and greatly +infamous; to Johannes Mirandula, and Colonel Chartres: and in the +present case, say these cavillers, it may be construed to signify +either that the rest is too well known to require repetition, or that +there is nothing more to be known. But the great character of +Mr. ROLLE will at once remove all ambiguity. + +The French inscription was furnished by Mr. ROLLE himself on the day +of his election. The idea was first expressed by him in English, +and then done into French verse by the [5] Dutch dancing master +at Exeter, to whom Mr. ROLLE is indebted for his extraordinary +proficiency in that science. + + Ne pouvoir point parler mon chien je reproche; + Moi, j'acquis en ces lieux le don de la parole: + Je vais donc, & bien vite, Londres par le coche, + Faire entendre au Senat, que je suis un vrai ROLLE. + +The _par le coche_ seems to be an addition of the Dancing-master, +who was certainly no very great Poet, as appears by his use of +feminine rhymes only, without any mixture of masculine: an +irregularity perfectly inadmissible, as all our polite readers must +know, in the nicety of French prosody. We shall subjoin for the +entertainment of our readers an inscription in the parish school at +Rouen, which was written about a century since on the original Rollo. + + Ici ROLLON fess soir & matin, + Beaucoup souffrit, point n'apprit se Latin. + Aux fiers combats bien mieux joua son rle: + Tuer des gens lui parut chose drle. + Femme epousa, plus douce que satin, + Et, par bonheur, dj veuve & catin; + D'elle reut un fils & la v------le. + Ainsi, Lecteur, naquit le premier ROLLE! + +But to return to our author. After the vision of the column, MERLIN +proceeds in a short speech to intimate to ROLLO, that higher honours +may yet await his descendant in the House of Lords, + + Where ROLLE may be, what ROLLO was before. + +This, as may be naturally supposed, excites the curiosity of the Duke; +but MERLIN declares, that it is not permitted him to reveal the +glories of the Upper house. The hero must first fulfil his fates, +by mortally wounding the Saxon drummer, whom Providence shall inspire +in his last moments for this particular purpose. + + Ere yet thou know, what higher honours wait + Thy future race, accomplish them thy fate. + When now the bravest of our Saxon train + Beneath thy conquering arms shall press the plain; + What yet remains, his voice divine in death + Shall tell, and Heav'n for this shall lengthen out his breath. + +Which last line is most happily lengthened out into an Alexandrine, +to make the sound an echo to the sense. The pause too after the words +"shall tell," finely marks the sudden catches and spasmodic efforts of +a dying man. Some extracts from the Drummer's prophecies have already +been given to the public; and from these specimens of his loquacity +with a thurst in quarte through his lungs, our readers will probably +see the propriety with which the immediate hand of Heaven is here +introduced. The most rigid critic will not deny that here is truly the + + Dignus vindice nodus, + +which Horace requires to justify the interposition of a Divinity. + +We are now come to the concluding lines of the sixth book. Our readers +are probably acquainted with the commonly-received superstition +relative to the exit of Magicians, that they are carried away by +Devils. The poet has made exquisite use of this popular belief, though +he could not help returning in the last line to his favourite Virgil. +Classical observers will immediately perceive the allusion to + + ------Revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras + Hic labor, hoc opus est; + +in the description of ROLLO's re-ascent from the night-cellar into +the open air. + +The Prophet foreseeing his instant end, + + "At once, farewel," he said. But, as he said, + Like mortal bailiffs to the sight array'd, + Two fiends advancing seiz'd, and bore away + To their dark dens the much-resisting prey: + While ROLLO nimbly clamber'd in a fright, + Tho' steep and difficult the way, to light. + +And thus ends the sixth book of the ROLLIAD; which we have chosen for +the subject of the FIRST PART of our CRITICISMS. In the second part, +which is now going on in the Morning-Herald, where the first draughts +of the present numbers were originally published, we shall pursue our +Commentary through the House of Peers; and in a third part, for which +we are now preparing and arranging materials, it is our intention to +present our readers with a series of anecdotes from the political +history of our ministry, which our author has artfully contrived to +interweave in his inimitable poem. + +And here, while we are closing this first Part, we cannot but +congratulate ourselves, that we have been the humble instruments of +first calling the attention of the learned to this wonderful effort of +modern genius, the fame of, which has already exceeded the limits of +this island, and perhaps may not be circumscribed by the present age; +which, we have the best reason to believe, will very shortly diffuse +the glory of our present Rulers in many and distant quarters of the +globe; and which may not improbably descend to exhibit them in their +true colours to remote posterity. That we indeed imagine our +Criticisms to have contributed very much to this great popularity of +the ROLLIAD, we will not attempt to conceal. And this persuasion shall +animate us to continue our endeavours with redoubled application, that +we may complete, as early as possible, the design, which we have some +time since formed to ourselves, and which we have now submitted to the +Public; happy, if that which is yet to come, be received with the same +degree of favour as this, which is now finished, so peculiarly +experienced even in its most imperfect condition. + + +[1] Dr. Busby, formerly master of Westminster school, was famous for +his consumption of birch. MERLIN uses his name here by the spirit of +prophecy. + +[2] Erasmus wrote an _Encomium of Folly_, with abundant wit and +learning. +For Creichton, see the Adventurer. + +[3] The literal English is "_vehement mouth of oratory._" + +[4] A great flogger of antiquity, + ------Memini qu _plagosum_ mihi parvo + _Orbilium_ dictare. HOR. + +[5] Mynheer Hoppingen Van Caperagen, who soon after the publication of +our first authentic Edition, sent the following letter to Mr. Ridgway: + + D'Exeter, ce 18 Avril, 1785. + + "Je suis fort etonn. Monsieur, que vous ayez eu la hardiesse + d'admettre dans "_La Critique de la Rolliade_," une accusation + contre moi qui n'est nullement fonde, et qui tend me nuire dans + l'esprit de tous les amateurs des beaux arts. Sachez, Monsieur, que + je me suis donn la peine de traduire _mot mot_ la clbr + inscription, de mon digne lve et protecteur, _Mr. Rolle_; que je + n'y ai rien ajout, et que dans le vers o il est question _du + coche_, votre Critique n'auroit d voir qu'une preuve de l'conomie + de mon susdit _Mcene_. Quant aux rimes fminines que l'auteur me + reproche avec tant d'aigreur, je vous dirai qu'il n'y a rien de + _mle_ dans l'esprit de Mr. _Rolle_, et que j'aurois bless sa + delicatesse en m'y prenant autrement; d'ailleurs je me moque des + usages, et je ne veux pas que mes vers sautent clochepied, comme + ceux des potes Franois, qui n'entendent rien la danse. Je ne + doute pas que vous approuviez mon sentiment l-dessus, et que vous + me fassiez rendre justice sur l'objet de ma plainte: en attendant, + je vous prie de croire que je suis, avec le plus vif attachment, + Monsieur, votre trs obeissant serviteur, + HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERAGEN." + + +END OF PART THE FIRST. + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + +PART THE SECOND + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + +We have now followed our admirable author through the _Sixth Book_ of +his poem; very much to our own edification, and, we flatter ourselves, +no less to the satisfaction of our readers. We have shewn the art with +which he has introduced a description of the leading characters of our +present House of Commons, by a contrivance something similar indeed to +that employed by Virgil, but at the same time sufficiently unlike to +substantiate his own claim to originality. And surely every candid +critic will admit, that had he satisfied himself with the same device, +in order to panegyrize his favourites in the other House, he would +have been perfectly blameless. But to the writer of the ROLLIAD, it +was not sufficient to escape censure; he must extort our praise, and +excite our admiration. + +Our classical readers will recollect, that all Epic Heroes possess in +common with the poets who celebrate their actions, the gift of +_prophecy_; with this difference however, that poets prophecy while +they are in sound health, whereas the hero never begins to talk about +futurity, until he has received such a mortal wound in his lungs as +would prevent any man but a hero from talking at all: and it is +probably in allusion to this circumstance, that the power of +divination is distinguished in North Britain by the name of SECOND +SIGHT, as commencing when common vision ends. This faculty has been +attributed to dying warriors, both by _Homer_ and _Virgil_; but +neither of these poets have made so good use of it as our author, who +has introduced into the last dying speech of the Saxon Drummer, the +whole birth, parentage, and education, life, character, and behaviour, +of all those benefactors of their country, who at present adorn the +House of Peers, thereby conforming himself to modern usage, and at +the same time distinguishing the victorious Rollo's prowess in +subduing an adversary, who dies infinitely harder than either Turnus +or Hector. + +Without farther comment, we shall now proceed to favour our readers +with a few extracts. The first Peer mentioned by the _Dying Drummer_, +is the present _Marquis of Buckingham_: his appearance is ushered in +by an elegant panegyric on his father, Mr. _George Grenville_, of +which we shall only give the concluding lines: + + _George_, in whose subtle brain, if Fame say true, + Full-fraught with wars, the fatal stamp-act grew; + Great financier! stupenduous calculator!-- + _But, George_ the son is _twenty-one times_ greater! + +It would require a volume, not only to point out all the merits of the +last line, but even to do justice to that Pindaric spirit, that abrupt +beauty, that graceful aberration from rigid grammatical contexts, +which appears in the single word _but_. We had however a further +intention in quoting this passage, viz. to assert our author's claim +to the invention of that species of MORAL ARITHMETIC, which, by the +means of proper additions, subtractions, multiplications and +divisions, ascertains the relative merits of two characters more +correctly than any other mode of investigation hitherto invented. Lord +Thurlow, when he informed the House of Peers, that, "_one_ Hastings is +worth _twenty_ Macartneys," had certainly the merit of ascertaining +the comparative value of the two men in _whole numbers_, and _without +a fraction_. He likewise enabled his auditors, by means of _the rule +of three_, to find out the numerical excellence of any other +individual; but to compare Lord Thurlow with our author, would be to +compare the scholar with the inventor; to compare a common +house-steward with _Euclid_ or _Archimedes_. We now return to the +poem. + +After the lines already quoted, our dying drummer breaks out into the +following wonderful apostrophe: + + Approach, ye sophs, who, in your northern den, + Wield, with both hands, your huge _didactic_ pen; + Who, step by step, o'er _Pindus_' up-hill road, + Drag slowly on your learning's pond'rous load: + Though many a shock your perilous march encumbers, + Ere the stiff prose can struggle into numbers; + And you, at _comets' tails_, who fondly stare, + And find a mistress in the _lesser bear_; + And you, who, full with metaphysics fraught, + Detect sensation starting into thought, + And trace each sketch by Memory's hand design'd + On that strange magic lantern call'd the MIND; + And you, who watch each loit'ring empire's fate; + Who heap up fact on fact, and date on date; + Who count the threads that fill the mystic loom, + Where patient vengeance wove the fate of Rome; + Who tell that wealth unnerv'd her soldier's hand, } + That Folly urg'd the fate by traitor's plann'd; } + Or, that she fell--because she could not stand: } + Approach, and view, in this capacious mind, + Your scatter'd science in one mass combin'd: + Whate'er tradition tells, or poets sing, + Of giant-killing John, or John the King; + Whate'er------ + +But we are apprehensive that our zeal has already hurried us too far, +and that we have exceeded the just bounds of this paper. We shall +therefore take some future opportunity of reverting to the character +of this prodigious nobleman, who possesses, and deserves to possess, +so distinguished a share in his master's confidence. Suffice it to +say, that our author does full justice to every part of his character. +He considers him as a walking warehouse of facts of all kinds, whether +relating to history, astronomy, metaphysics, heraldry, fortifications, +naval tactics, or midwifery; at the same time representing him as a +kind of haberdasher of small talents, which he retails to the female +part of his family, instructing them in the mystery of precedence, +the whole art of scented pomatums, the doctrine of salves for broken +heads, of putty for _broken windows_, &c. &c. &c. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +We now return to the dying drummer, whom we left in the middle of his +eulogy on the Marquis of Buckingham. + +It being admitted, that the powers of the human mind depend on the +number and association of our ideas, it is easy to shew that the +illustrious Marquis is entitled to the highest rank in the scale of +human intelligence. His mind possesses an unlimited power of +inglutition, and his ideas adhere to each other with such tenacity, +that whenever his memory is stimulated by any powerful interrogatory, +it not only discharges a full answer to that individual question, but +likewise such a prodigious flood of collateral knowledge, derived from +copious and repeated infusions, as no common skull would be capable of +containing. For these reasons, his Lordship's fitness for the +department of the Admiralty, a department connected with the whole +cyclopoedia of science, and requiring the greatest variety of talents +and exertions, seems to be pointed out by the hand of Heaven;--it is +likewise pointed out by the dying drummer, who describes in the +following lines, the immediate cause of his nomination:-- + + On the great day, when Buckingham, by pairs + Ascended, Heaven impell'd, the K------'s back-stairs; + And panting breathless, strain'd his lungs to show + From Fox's bill what mighty ills would flow: + That soon, _its source corrupt, Opinion's thread, + On India's deleterious streams wou'd shed_; + That Hastings, Munny Begum, Scott, must fall, + And Pitt, and Jenkinson, and Leadenhall; + Still, as with stammering tongue, he told his tale, + Unusual terrors Brunswick's heart assail; + Wide starts his white wig from his royal ear, + And each particular hair stands stiff with fear, + +We flatter ourselves that few of our readers are so void of taste, +as not to feel the transcendant beauties of this description. First, +we see the noble Marquis mount the fatal steps "by pairs," _i.e._ by +two at a time; and with a degree of effort and fatigue: and then he is +out of breath, which is perfectly natural. The obscurity of the third +couplet, an _obscurity_ which has been imitated by all the ministerial +writers on the India bill, arises from a confusion of metaphor, +so inexpressibly beautiful, that Mr. Hastings has thought fit to copy +it almost verbatum, in his celebrated letter from Lucknow. The effects +of terror on the royal wig, are happily imagined, and are infinitely +more sublime than the "_steteruntque com_" of the Roman poet; as the +attachment of a wig to its wearer, is obviously more generous and +disinterested than that of the person's own hair, which naturally +participates in the good or ill fortune of the head on which it grows. +But to proceed.--Men in a fright are usually generous;--on that great +day, therefore, the Marquis obtained the promise of the Admiralty. +The dying drummer then proceeds to describe the Marquis's well-known +vision, which he prefaces by a compliment on his Lordship's +extraordinary proficiency in the art of lace-making. We have all +admired the parliamentary exertions of this great man, on every +subject that related to an art in which the county of Buckingham is so +deeply interested; an art, by means of which Britannia (as our author +happily expresses it) + + Puckers round naked breasts, a decent trimming, + Spreads the thread trade, and propagates old women! + +How naturally do we feel disposed to join with the dying drummer, in +the pathetic apostrophe which he addresses to his hero, when he +foresees that this attention will necessarily be diverted to other +objects:-- + + Alas! no longer round thy favorite STOWE, + Shalt thou the nicer arts to artists show, + No more on thumb-worn cushions deign to trace, + With critic touch, the texture of bone-lace; + And from severer toils, some moments robbing! + Reclaim the vagrant thread, or truant bobbin! + Far, other scenes of future glory rise, + To glad thy sleeping, and thy waking eyes; + As busy fancy paints the gaudy dream, + Ideal docks, with shadowy navies teem: + Whate'er on sea, on lake, or river floats, + Ships, barges, rafts, skiffs, tubs, flat-bottom'd boats, + Smiths, sailors, carpenters, in busy crowds, + Mast, cable, yard, sail, bow-sprit, anchor, shrowds, + Knives, gigs, harpoons, swords, handspikes, cutlass blades, + Guns, pistols, swivels, cannons, carronades: + All rise to view!--All blend in gorgeous show! + Tritons and tridents, turpentine, tar--tow! + +We will take upon ourselves to attest, that neither Homer nor Virgil +ever produced any thing like this. How amiable, how interesting, +is the condescension of the illustrious Marquis, while he assists the +old women in his neighbourhood in making bone-lace! How artfully is +the modest appearance of the aforesaid old women's cushions (which we +are also told were dirty cushions) contrasted with the splendor and +magnificence of the subsequent vision! How masterly is the structure +of the last verse, and how nobly does the climax rise from tritons and +tridents--from objects which are rather picturesque than necessary--to +that most important article _tow_! an article "without which," in +the opinion of Lord Mulgrave, "it would be impossible to fit out a +single ship." + +The drummer is next led to investigate the different modes of +meliorating our navy; in the course of which he introduces the +Marquis's private thoughts on _flax_ and _forest-trees_; the natural +history of _nettles_, with proofs of their excellence in making +cables; a project to produce _aurum fulminans_ from Pinchbeck's metal, +instead of gold, occasioned by admiral Barrington's complaint of bad +powder; a discussion of Lord Ferrers's mathematical mode of +ship-building; and a lamentation on the pertinacity with which his +Lordship's vessels have hitherto refused to sail. The grief of the +Marquis on this occasion, awaking all our sympathy-- + + Sighing, he struck his breast, and cried, "Alas! + Shall a three decker's huge unwieldy mass, + 'Mid croud of foes, stand stupidly at bay, + And by rude force, like Ajax, gain the day? + No!--let Invention!------" + +And at the moment his Lordship becomes pregnant, and is delivered of +a project that solves every difficulty. + +The reader will recollect Commodore Johnstone's discovery, that +"the aliquot parts being equal to the whole, two frigates are +indisputably tantamount to a line of battle-ship; nay, that they are +superior to it, as being more manageable." Now, a sloop being more +docile than a frigate, and a cutter more versatile than a sloop, +&c. &c. is it not obvious that the _force_ of any vessel must be in an +inverse ratio to its _strength_? Hence, Lord Buckingham most properly +observes, + + Our light arm'd fleet will spread a general panic, + For speed is power, says Pinchbeck, the mechanic. + +The only objection to this system, is the trite professional idea, +that ships having been for some years past in the habit of sailing +directly forwards, must necessarily form and fight _in a straight +line_; but according to Lord Buckingham's plan, the line of battle in +future is to be like the line of beauty, _waving_ and _tortuous_; so +that if the French, who confessedly are the most imitative people on +the earth, should wish to copy our manoeuvres, their larger ships will +necessarily be thrown into confusion, and consequently be beaten. + +But as Sir Gregory Page Turner finely says, "infallibility is not +given to human nature." Our prodigious Marquis, therefore, diffident +of his talents, and not yet satisfied with his plan, rakes into that +vast heap of knowledge, which he has collected from reading, and forms +into one _compost_, all the naval inventions of every age and country, +in order to meliorate and fertilize the colder genius of Great +Britain. "In future," says the drummer, + + All ages, and all countries, shall combine, + To form our navy's variegated line. + Like some vast whale, or all-devouring shark, + High in the midst shall rise old Noah's _ark_: + Or, if that ark be lost, of equal bulk, + Our novel Noah rigs--the _Justice Hulk_: + An Argo next, the peerless Catherine sends, + The gorgeous gift of her _Mingrelian_ friends: + +Here we cannot repress our admiration at the drummer's skill in +geography and politics. He not only tells us that _Mingrelia_ is the +ancient _Colchis_, the country visited by the Argonauts, the country +which was then so famous for its fleeces, and which even now sends so +many virgins to the Grand Seignior's seraglio, but he foresees the +advantages that will be derived to the navy of this kingdom, by the +submission of his Mingrelian majesty to the Empress of Russia. +But to proceed: + + And next, at our Canadian brethren's pray'r, + Ten stout _triremes_ the good pope shall spare! + +We apprehend, with all due submission to the drummer, that here is a +small mistake. Our Canadian brethren may indeed possess great +influence with the Pope, on account of their perseverance in the +Catholic religion; but as all the triremes in his holiness's +possession are unfortunately in bass-relief and marble, we have some +doubt of their utility at sea. + + Light-arm'd _evaas_, canoes that seem to fly, + Our faithful _Oberea_ shall supply: + _Gallies_ shall Venice yield. Algiers, _xebecs_-- + But thou, Nanquin, gay _yachts_ with towering decks; + While fierce Kamtschatka------ + +But it is unnecessary to transcribe all the names of places mentioned +by our drummer in sailing eastward towards Cape Horn, and westward to +the Cape of Good Hope. We flatter ourselves that we have sufficiently +proved the stupendous and almost unnatural excellence of the new +Lord Buckingham; and that we have shewn the necessity of innovation in +the navy as well as in the constitution; we therefore shall conclude +this number, by expressing our hope and assurance, that the salutary +amputations which are meditated by the two state surgeons, Mr. Pitt, +and Mr. Wyvill, will speedily be followed by equally skilful +operations in our marine; and that the prophecy of the dying drummer +will be fulfilled in the completion of that delightful event--the +nomination of the noble Marquis to the department of the admiralty! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +Having concluded his description of the Marquis of Buckingham, +our expiring prophet proceeds to the contemplation of other glories, +hardly less resplendent than those of the noble Marquis himself. +He goes on to the DUKE of RICHMOND. + +In travelling round this wide world of virtue, for as such may the +mind of the noble Duke be described, it must be obvious to every one, +that the principal difficulty consists--in determining from what +quarter to set out; whether to commence in the _frigid zone_ of his +benevolence, or in the _torrid hemisphere_ of his loyalty; from the +_equinox_ of his oeconomy, or from the _terra australis_ of his +patriotism. Our author feels himself reduced to the dilemma of the +famous _Archimedes_ in this case, though for a very different reason, +and exclaims violently for the {Dos pou sto}, not because he has no +ground to stand upon, but because he has too much--because puzzled by +the variety, he feels an incapacity to make a selection. He represents +himself as being exactly in the situation of _Paris_ between the +different and contending charms of the three _Heathen Goddesses_, and +is equally at a loss on which to bestow his _detur pulcherim_. There +is indeed more beauty in this latter similitude than may at first view +appear to a careless and vulgar observer: the three goddesses in +question being, in all the leading points of their description, most +correctly typical of the noble Duke himself. As for example--_Minerva_, +we know, was produced out of the head of _Jove_, complete and perfect +at once. Thus the Duke of Richmond starts into the perfection of a +full-grown _engineer_, without the ceremony of gradual organization, +or the painful tediousness of progressive maturity.--_Juno_ was +particularly famed for an unceasing spirit of active persecution +against the bravest and most honourable men of antiquity. Col. +_Debbeige_, and some other individuals of modern time, might be +selected, to shew that the noble Duke is not in this respect without +some pretensions to sympathy with the queen of the skies.--_Venus_ +too, we all know, originated from _froth_. For resemblance in this +point, _vide_ the noble Duke's admirable theories on the subject of +_parliamentary melioration_. + +Having stated these circumstances of embarrassment in a few +introductory lines to this part of the poem, our author goes on +to observe, that not knowing, after much and anxious thought, how to +adjust the important difficulty in question, he resolves at last to +trust himself entirely to the guidance of his muse, who, under the +influence of her usual inspiration, proceeds as follows: + + Hail thou, for either talent justly known, + To spend the nation's cash--or keep thy own; + Expert alike to save, or be profuse, + As money goes for thine, or England's use; + In whose esteem, of equal worth are thought, + A public million, and a private groat. + Hail, and--&c. + +_Longinus_, as the learned well know, reckons the figure +_Amplification_ amongst the principal sources of the sublime, as does +_Quintilian_ amongst the leading requisites of rhetoric. That it +constitutes the very soul of eloquence, is demonstrable from the +example of that sublimest of all orators, and profoundest of all +statesman, Mr. _William Pitt_. If no expedient had been devised, by +the help of which the _same_ idea could be invested in a thousand +different and glittering habiliments, by which _one_ small spark of +meaning could be inflated into a blaze of elocution, how many +delectable speeches would have been lost to the Senate of Great +Britain? How severe an injury would have been sustained to the +literary estimation of the age? The above admirable specimen of the +figure, however, adds to the other natural graces of it, the excellent +recommendation of strict and literal truth. The author proceeds to +describe the noble Duke's uncommon popularity, and to represent, that +whatever be his employment, whether the gay business of the state, or +the serious occupation of amusement, his Grace is alike sure of the +approbation of his countrymen. + + Whether thy present vast ambition be + To check the rudeness of the' intruding sea; + Or else, immerging in a _civil_ storm, + With equal wisdom to project--reform; + Whether thou go'st while summer suns prevail, + To enjoy the freshness of thy kitchen's gale, + Where, unpolluted by luxurious heat, + Its large expanse affords a cool retreat; + Or should'st thou now, no more the theme of mirth, + Hail the great day that gave thy sov'reign birth, + With kind anticipating zeal prepare, + And make the _fourth_ of _June_ thy anxious care; + O! wheresoe'er thy hallow'd steps shall stray + Still, still, for thee, the grateful poor shall pray, + Since all the bounty which thy heart denies, + Drain'd by thy schemes, the _treasury_ supplies. + +The reference to the noble Duke's kitchen, is a most exquisite +compliment to his Grace's well-known and determined aversion to the +specious, popular, and prevailing vices of _eating_ and _drinking_; +and the four lines which follow, contain a no less admirable allusion +to the memorable witticism of his Grace (memorable for the subject of +it, as well as for the circumstance of its being the only known +instance of his Grace's attempting to degrade himself into the +vulgarity of joke). + +When a minister was found in this country daring and wicked enough to +propose the suspension of a turnpike bill for one whole day, simply +for the reason, that he considered some little ceremony due to the +natal anniversary of the _highest_, and beyond all comparison, the +_best_ individual in the country; what was the noble Duke's reply to +this frivolous pretence for the protraction of the national business? +"What care I," said this great personage, with a noble warmth of +patriotic insolence, never yet attained by any of the present +timid-minded sons of faction, "What care I for the King's birthday!--What +is such nonsense to me!" &c. &c. &c. It is true, indeed, times have been +a little changed since--but what of that! there is a solid truth in +the observation of Horace, which its tritism does not, nor cannot +destroy, and which the noble Duke, if he could read the original, +might with great truth, apply to himself and his sovereign: + + Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis. + +A great critic affirms, that the highest excellence of writing, and +particularly of poetical writing, consists in this one power--to +_surprise_. Surely this sensation was never more successfully excited, +than by the line in the above passage, when considered as addressed +to the Duke of Richmond-- + + Still, still, for thee, the _grateful poor_ shall pray! + +Our author, however, whose correct judgment suggested to him, that +even the sublimity of surprise was not to be obtained at the expence +of truth and probability, hastens to reconcile all contradictions, by +informing the reader, that the _treasury_ is to supply the sources of +the charity, on account of which the noble Duke is to be prayed for. + +The poet, with his usual philanthropy, proceeds to give a piece +of good advice to a person, with whom he does not appear at first +sight to have any natural connexion. He contrives, however, +even to make his seeming digression contribute to his purpose. +He addresses _Colonel Debbeige_ in the following goodnatured, +sublime and parental apostrophe-- + + Learn, thoughtless _Debbeige_, now no more a youth, + The woes unnumber'd that encompass truth. + Nor of experience, nor of knowledge vain, + Mock the chimras of a sea-sick brain: + Oh, learn on happier terms with him to live, + Who ne'er knew _twice_, the weakness to forgive! + Then should his grace some vast expedient find, + To govern tempests, and controul the wind; + Should he, like great _Canute_, forbid the wave, + T'approach his presence, or his foot to lave; + Construct some bastion, or contrive some mound, + The world's wide limits to encompass round; + Rear a redoubt, that to the stars should rise, + And lift himself, like Typhon, to the skies; + Or should the mightier scheme engage his soul, + To raise a platform on the _northern pole_, + With foss, with rampart, stick, and stone, and clay, + To build a breast-work on the _milky-way_, + Or to protect his sovereign's blest abode, + Bid numerous batteries guard the _turnpike road_; + Lest foul Invasion in disguise approach, + Or Treason lurk within the _Dover_ coach. + Oh, let the wiser duty then be thine, + Thy skill, thy science, judgment to resign! + With patient ear, the high-wrapt tale attend, + Nor snarl at fancies which no skill can mend. + So shall thy comforts with thy days increase, + And all thy last, unlike thy first, be peace; + No rude _courts martial_ shall thy fame decry, + But half-pay plenty all thy wants supply. + +It is difficult to determine which part of the above passage possesses +the superior claim to our admiration, whether its science, its +resemblance, its benevolence, or its sublimity.--Each has its turn, +and each is distinguished by some of our author's happiest touches. +The climax from the pole oft the heavens to the pole of a coach, and +from the milky-way to a turnpike road, is conceived and exprest with +admirable fancy and ability. The absurd story of the wooden horse in +Virgil, is indeed remotely parodied in the line, + + Or Treason lurk within the Dover coach, + +but with what accession of beauty, nature, and probability, we leave +judicious critics to determine. Indeed there is no other defence for +the passage alluded to in _Virgil_, but to suppose that the past +commentators upon it have been egregiously mistaken, and that this +famous _equus ligneus_, of which he speaks, was neither more nor less +than the _stage coach_ of antiquity. What, under any other +supposition, can be the meaning of the passage + + Aut hoc inclusi ligno occultantur _Achivi?_ + +Besides this, the term _machina_ we know is almost constantly used by +_Virgil_ himself as a synonyme for this horse, as in the line + + _Scandit fatalis_ machina _muros_, &c. + +And do we not see that those authentic records of modern literature, +the newspapers, are continually and daily announcing to us--"This day +sets off from the Blue-boar Inn, precisely at half past five, the Bath +and Bristol _machine_!" meaning thereby merely the _stage coaches_ to +Bath and to Bristol. Again, immediately after the line last quoted (to +wit, _scandit fatalis machina muros)_ come these words, + + _Fta armis_, i.e. filled with _arms_. + +Now what can they possibly allude to, in the eye of sober judgment and +rational criticism, but the _guard_, or armed _watchman_, who, in +those days, went in the inside, or perhaps had a place in the _boot_, +and was employed, as in our modern conveyances, to protect the +passenger in his approximation to the metropolis. We trust the above +authorities will be deemed conclusive upon the subject; and indeed, to +say the truth, this idea does not occur to us now for the first time, +as in some hints for a few critical lucubrations intended as farther +_addenda_ to the _Virgilius Restauratus_ of the great Scriblerus, we +find this remark precisely:--"In our judgment, this horse (meaning +_Virgil_'s) may be very properly denominated--the DARDANIAN DILLY, or +the POST COACH to PERGAMUS." + +We know not whether it be worth adding as a matter of mere fact, +that the great object of the noble Duke's erections at Chatham, +which have not yet cost the nation a _million_, is simply and +exclusively this--to _enfilade_ the turnpike road, in case of a +foreign invasion. + +The poet goes on--he forms a scientific and interesting presage of +the noble Duke's future greatness. + + With gorges, scaffolds, breaches, ditches, mines, + With culverins, whole and demi, and gabines; + With trench, with counterscarp, with esplanade, + With curtain, moat, and rhombo, and chamade; + With polygon, epaulement, hedge and bank, + With angle salient, and with angle flank: + Oh! thou shall prove, should all thy schemes prevail, + An UNCLE TOBY on a larger scale. + While dapper, daisy, prating, puffing JIM, + May haply personate good _Corporal Trim_. + +Every reader will anticipate us in the recollection, that the person +here honoured with our author's distinction, by the abbreviated +appellative of _Jim_, can be no other than the Hon. James Luttrel +himself, surveyor-general to the ordnance, the famous friends, +defender, and _commis_ of the Duke of Richmond. The words _dapper_ and +_daisy_, in the last line of the above passage, approximate perhaps +more nearly to the familiarity of common life, than is usual with our +author; but it is to be observed in the defence of them, that our +language supplies no terms in any degree so peculiarly characteristic +of the object to whom they are addressed. As for the remaining part of +the line, to wit, "_prating, puffing Jim_," it will require no +vindication or illustration with those who have heard this honourable +gentleman's speeches in parliament, and who have read the subsequent +representations of them in the diurnal prints. + +Our immortal author, whose province it is to give poetical +construction, and _local habitation_ to the inspired effusions of the +_dying drummer_ (exactly as _Virgil_ did to the predictions of +_Anchises_), proceeds to finish the portrait exhibited in the above +passage by the following lines-- + + As like your _prototypes_ as pea to pea, + Save in the weakness of--_humanity_; + Congenial quite in every other part, + The same in _head_, but differing in the heart. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +We resume with great pleasure our critical lucubrations on that most +interesting part of this divine poem, which pourtrays the character, +and transmits to immortality the name of the _Duke of_ RICHMOND.--Our +author, who sometimes condescends to a casual imitation of ancient +writers, employs more than usual pains in the elaborate delineation of +this illustrious personage. Thus, in Virgil, we find whole pages +devoted to the description of _neas_, while _Glacus_ and +_Thersilochus_, like the _Luttrels_, the _Palkes_, or the _Macnamaras_ +of modern times, are honoured only with the transient distinction of a +simple mention. He proceeds to ridicule the superstition which exists +in this country, and, as he informs us, had also prevailed in one of +the most famous states of antiquity, that a navy could be any source +of security to a great empire, or that shipping could in any way be +considered as the _natural_ defence of an _island_. + + Th' Athenian sages, once of old, 'tis said, + Urg'd by their country's love--by wisdom led, + Besought the _Delphic_ oracle to show + What best should save them from the neighb'ring foe + --With holy fervor first the _priestess_ burn'd, + Then fraught with presage, this reply return'd: + "_Your city, men of Athens, ne'er will fall, + If wisely guarded by a_ WOODEN WALL." + --Thus have our fathers indiscreetly thought, + By ancient practice--ancient safety taught, + That this, Great Britain, still should prove to thee + Thy first, thy best, thy last security; + That what in thee we find or great or good, + Had ow'd its being to this WALL of WOOD.-- + Above such weakness see great _Lenox_ soar, + This fence prescriptive guards us now no more + Of such gross ignorance asham'd and sick, + Richmond protects us with a _wall--of brick_; + Contemns the prejudice of former time, + And saves his countrymen by _lath_ and _lime_. + +It is our intention to embarrass this part of the _Rolliad_ as little +as possible with any commentaries of our own. We cannot, however, +resist the temptation which the occasion suggests, of pronouncing +a particular panegyric upon the delicacy as well as dexterity of our +author, who, in speaking upon the subject of the Duke of _Richmond_, +that is, upon a man who knows no more of the history, writings, +or languages of antiquity than the _Marquis of Lansdown_ himself, +or great _Rollo_'s groom, has yet contrived to collect a great portion +of his illustrations from the sources of ancient literature. By this +admirable expedient, the immediate ignorance of the hero is inveloped +and concealed in the vast erudition of the author, and the unhappy +truth that his Grace never proceeded farther in his _Latinity_, than +through the neat and simple pages of _Corderius_, is so far thrown +into the back ground as to be hardly observable, and to constitute no +essential blemish to the general brilliancy of the _picture_. + +The poet proceeds to speak of a tribunal which was instituted in the +_ra_ he is describing, for an investigation into the professional +merits of the noble Duke, and of which he himself was very properly +the head. The author mentions the individuals who composed this +inquisition, as men of _opulent, independent, disinterested_ +characters, three only excepted, whom he regrets as apostates to the +general character of the arbitrators. He speaks, however--such is the +omnipotence of truth--even of them, with a sort of reluctant tendency +to panegyric. He says, + + Keen without show, with modest learning, sly, + The subtle comment speaking in his eye; + Of manners polish'd, yet of stubborn soul, + Which Hope allures not--nor which fears control; + See _Burgoyne_ rapt in all a soldier's pride, + Damn with a shrug, and with a look deride; + While coarse _Macbride_ a busier task assumes, + And tears with graceless rage our hero's plumes; + Blunts his rude science in the _chieftain_'s face, + Nor deems--forgive him, _Pitt!_--a truth, disgrace: + And _Percy_ too, of lineage justly vain, + Surveys the system with a mild disdain. + +He consoles the reader, however, for the pain given him by the +contemplation of such weakness and injustice, by hastening to +inform him of the better and wiser dispositions of the other members +of the tribunal; + + --But ah! not so the rest--unlike to these, + They try each anxious blandishment to please; + No skill uncivil e'er from them escapes, + Their modest wisdom courts no dang'rous scrapes; + But pure regard comes glowing from the heart, + To take a friend's--to take a master's part; + Nor let Suspicion with her sneers convey, + That paltry Int'rest could with such bear sway. + Can _Richmond_'s brother be attach'd to gold? + Can _Luttrell_'s friendship, like a vote, be sold? + O can such petty, such ignoble crimes, + Stain the fair _ra_ of these golden times, + When _Pitt_ to all perfection points the way, + And pure _Dundas_ exemplifies his lay? + When _Wilkes_ to loyalty makes bold pretence, + _Arden_ to law, the _Cabinet_ to sense; + When _Prettyman_ affects for truth a zeal, + And _Macnamaras_ guard the common-weal; + When _lawyers_ argue from the holy writ, + And _Hill_ would vie with _Sheridan_ in wit; + When _Camden_, first of Whigs, in struggles past, + _Teiz'd_ and _tormented_ quits the cause at last; + When _Thurlow_ strives commercial skill to show, + And even _Sydney_ something seems to know; + When honest _Jack_ declines in men to trade, + And court majorities by truth are sway'd; + When _Baker, Conway, Cavendish, or Byng_, + No more an obloquy o'er senates fling; + When------ + +But where could a period be put to the enumeration of the _uncommon_ +appearances of the epoch in question?--The application of the term +_honest_, prefixed to the name of the person described in the last +line of the above passage but three, sufficiently circumscribes the +number of those particular _Jacks_ who were at this moment in the +contemplation of our author, and lets us with facility into the secret +that he could mean no other than the worthy Mr. _John Robinson_ +himself.--The peculiar species of traffic that the poet represents +Mr. Robinson to have dealt in, is supposed to allude to a famous +occurrence of these times, when Mr. R. and another contractor agreed, +in a ministerial emergency, to furnish government with _five hundred +and fifty-eight_ ready, willing, obedient, well-trained men, at so +much per head per man, whom they engaged to be _perfectly fit for +any work the minister could put them to_. Tradition says, they failed +in their contract by somewhat about _two hundred_.--We have not heard +of what particular complexion the first order were of, but suppose +them to have been _blacks_. + +We collect from history, that the noble Duke had been exposed to +much empty ridicule on account of his having been, as they termed it, +a judge in his own cause, by being the President of that Court, +whose exclusive jurisdiction it was to enquire into supposed official +errors imputed to himself. The author scouts the venom of those +impotent gibers, and with great triumph exclaims, + + If it be virtue but yourself to _know_, + Yourself to _judge_, is sure a virtue too. + +Nothing can be more obvious--all judgment depends upon knowledge; +and how can any other person be supposed to know a man so well as he +does himself? We hope soon to see this evidently equitable principle +of criminal jurisprudence fully established at the _Old Baily_; and we +are very much inclined to think, that if every _house-breaker, &c._ +was in like manner permitted to judge himself, the susceptible heart +would not be altogether so often shocked with spectacles of human +massacre before the gates of Newgate, as, to the great disgrace of our +penal system, it now is. + +Our author now proceeds to speak of a transaction which he seems +to touch upon with reluctance. It respects a young nobleman of these +times, of the name of _Rawdon_. It is very remarkable, that the last +couplet of this passage is printed with a scratch through the lines, +as if it had been the author's intention to have erazed them. Whether +he thought the event alluded to in this distich was too disgraceful +for justification--or that the justification suggested was +incomplete--that the image contained in them was too familiar and +puerile for the general sublimity of his great poem, or whatever he +thought, we know not, but such is the fact. The passage is as +follows:--after relating the circumstance, he says + + Association forms the mind's great chain, + By plastic union many a thought we gain, +[Struck-through: + (Thus _Raw_ suggested _Raw head_, and the _Don_, + Haply reminded him of _Bloody bone)_.] + +To the justice of the disgrace thrown upon the above couplet, we by +no means concede.--What it wants in poetical construction, it amply +makes up in the deep knowledge which it contains of the more latent +feelings of the human heart, and its philosophic detection of some of +the true sources of human action. We all know how long, and how +tenaciously, original prejudices stick by us. No man lives long enough +to get rid of his nursery. That the noble duke therefore might not +be free from the common influence of a very common sensation, no one +can reasonably wonder at, and the best proof that he was not so is, +that we defy any person to show us, upon what possible principle, +if not upon this, the conduct of the noble Duke, in the transaction +alluded to, is to be explained or defended. The Duke of Richmond--a +gentleman by a thousand pretensions--a soldier--a legislator--a +peer--in two countries a duke--in a third a prince--a man whose honour +is not a mere point of speculative courtesy, but is his +_oath_--impeaches the reputation of another individual of pure and +unblemished character; and with the same publicity that he had applied +the original imputation, this peer, prince, legislator, and soldier, +_eats_ every syllable he had said, and retracts every _item_ of his +charge. Is this to be credited without a resort to some principle of a +very paramount nature in the heart of man indeed? Is the original +depravity, in the first instance, of publicly attempting to sully the +fair honour of that interesting and sacred character, a youthful +soldier, or the meanness in the second, of an equally public and +unprecedentedly pusillanimous retraction of the whole of the calumny, +to be believed in so high a personage as the Duke of _Richmond_, +without a reference to a cause of a very peculiar kind, to an impulse +of more than ordinary potency? Evidently not.--And what is there, as +we have before observed, that adheres so closely, or controuls so +absolutely, as the legends of our boyish days, of the superstitions of +a nursery? For these reasons, therefore, we give our most decided +suffrage for the full re-establishment of the couplet to the fair +legitimate honours that are due to it. + +The poet concludes his portrait of this illustrious person, with the +following lines-- + + The triple honours that adorn his head, + A three-fold influence o'er his virtue shed; + As _Gallia_'s prince, behold him proud and vain; + Thrifty and close as _Caledonia_'s thane; + In _Richmond_'s duke, we trace our own JOHN BULL, + Of schemes enamour'd--and of schemes--the GULL. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +The author of the Rolliad has, in his last edition, introduced so +considerable an alteration, that we should hold ourselves inexcusable, +after the very favourable reception our commentaries have been +honoured with, in omitting to seize the earliest opportunity of +pointing it out to the public. + +Finding the variety and importance of the characters he is called upon +to describe, likely to demand a greater portion both of time and words +than an expiring man can be reasonably supposed to afford, instead of +leaving the whole description of that illustrious assembly, of which +the dying drummer has already delineated some of the principal +ornaments, to the same character, he has made an addition to the +vision in which the House of Commons is represented, at the conclusion +of the Sixth Book, by contriving that the lantern of Merlin should be +shifted in such a manner, as to display at once to the eager eye of +Rollo, the whole interior of the Upper House; to gain a seat in which +the hero immediately expresses a laudable impatience, as well as a +just indignation, on beholding persons, far less worthy than himself, +among those whom the late very numerous creations prevent our +calling-- + + ----_pauci--quos quus amavit + Jupiter_-- + +With still less propriety, perhaps we should add-- + + --_Aut ardens evexit ad thera virtus._ VIRG. + +The hero's displeasure is thus forcibly described: + + Zounds! quoth great _Rollo_, with indignant frown, + 'Mid British nobles shall a base-born clown, + With air imperious ape a monarch's nod, + Less fit to sit there than my groom, by G-d[1]? + +Longinus, in his chapter on interrogations, proves them to be a source +of the sublime. They are, indeed, says Dr. Young, the proper style of +majesty incensed. Where, therefore, can they be with more propriety +introduced, than from the mouth of our offended hero? Merlin, after +sympathizing with him in the justice of these feelings, proceeds to +a description of the august assembly they are viewing. The author's +reverence for the religion of his country naturally disposes him first +to take notice of the spiritual lords of Parliament-- + + Yon rev'rend prelates, rob'd in sleeves of lawn, + Too meek to murmur, and too proud to fawn, + Who still submissive to their Maker's nod, + Adore their sov'reign, and respect their God; + And wait, good men! all worldly things forgot, + In humble hope of Enoch's happy lot. + +We apprehend that the fourth line, by an error in the press, the words +"adore and respect," must have been misplaced; but our veneration for +our author will not permit us to hazard even the slightest alteration +of the text. The happy ambiguity of the word "Maker," is truly +beautiful. + +We are sorry, however, to observe, that modern times afford some +instances of exceptions to the above description, as well as one +very distinguished one, indeed, to that which follows of the sixteen +Peers of Scotland:-- + + Alike in loyalty, alike in worth, + Behold the sixteen nobles of the north; + Fast friends to monarchy, yet sprung from those + Who basely sold their monarch to his foes; + Since which, atoning for their father's crime, + The sons, as basely, sell themselves to him: + With ev'ry change prepar'd to change their note, + With ev'ry government prepar'd to vote, + Save when, perhaps, on some important bill, + They know, by second sight, the royal will; + With royal _Denbigh_ hearing birds that sing, + "Oppose the minister to please the king." + +These last lines allude to a well authenticated anecdote, which +deserves to be recorded as an instance of the interference of divine +Providence in favour of this country, when her immediate destruction +was threatened by the memorable India bill, so happily rejected by +the House of Lords in the year 1783. + +The Earl of _Denbigh_, a Lord of his Majesty's Bed-chamber, being +newly married, and solacing himself at his country-seat in the sweats +of matrimonial bliss, to his great astonishment heard, on a winter's +evening, in the cold month of December, a nightingale singing in +the woods. Having listened with great attention to so extraordinary +a phoenomenon, it appeared to his Lordship that the bird distinctly +repeated the following significant words, in the same manner that +the bells of London admonished the celebrated Whittington, + + "Throw out the India bill; + Such is your master's will." + +His Lordship immediately communicated this singular circumstance +to the fair partner of his connubial joys, who, for the good of +her country, patriotically, though reluctantly, consented to forego +the newly tasted delights of wedlock, and permitted her beloved +bridegroom to set out for London, where his Lordship fortunately +arrived in time, to co-operate with the rest of his noble and +honourable brethren, the lords of the king's bed-chamber, in defeating +that detestable measure; a measure calculated to effect the immediate +ruin of this country, by overthrowing the happy system of government +which has so long prevailed in our East-India territories.--After +having described the above-mentioned classes of nobility, he proceeds +to take notice of the admirable person who so worthily presides in +this august assembly:-- + + The rugged _Thurlow_, who with sullen scowl, + In surly mood, at friend and foe will growl; + Of proud prerogative, the stern support, + Defends the entrance of great _George_'s court + 'Gainst factious Whigs, lest they who stole the seal, + The sacred diadem itself should steal: + So have I seen near village butcher's stall + (If things so great may be compar'd with small) + A mastiff guarding, on a market day, + With snarling vigilance, his master's tray. + +The fact of a desperate and degraded faction having actually broken +into the dwelling-house of the Lord High Chancellor, and carried off +the great seal of England, is of equal notoriety and authenticity +with that of their having treacherously attempted, when in power, +to transfer the crown of Great-Britain from the head of our most +gracious sovereign to that of their ambitious leader, so justly +denominated the Cromwell of modern times. + +While our author is dwelling on events which every Englishman must +recollect with heart-felt satisfaction, he is naturally reminded of +that excellent nobleman, whose character he has, in the mouth of +the dying drummer, given more at large, and who bore so meritorious +a share in that happy revolution which restored to the sovereign of +these kingdoms the right of nominating his own servants; a right +exercised by every private gentleman in the choice of his butler, +cook, coachman, footman, &c. but which a powerful and wicked +aristocratic combination endeavoured to circumscribe in the monarch, +with respect to the appointment of ministers of state. Upon this +occasion he compares the noble Marquis to the pious hero of the neid, +and recollects the description of his conduct during the conflagration +of Troy; an alarming moment, not unaptly likened to that of the +Duke of Portland's administration, when his Majesty, like king Priam, +had the misfortune of seeing + + ----_Medium in penctralibus hostem._ VIRG. + +The learned reader will bear in mind the description of neas:-- + + _Limen rat, ccoque fores, &c._ VIRG. + + When _Troy_ was burning, and the' insulting foe + Had well-nigh laid her lofty bulwarks low, + The good neas, to avert her fate, + Sought _Priam_'s palace through a _postern_ gate: + Thus when the Whigs, a bold and factious band, + Had snatch'd the sceptre from their sovereign's hand, + Up the _back-stairs_ the virtuous _Grenville_ sneaks, + To rid the closet of those worse than _Greeks_, + Whose impious tongues audaciously maintain, + That for their subjects, kings were born to reign. + +The abominable doctrines of the republican party are here held forth +in their genuine colours, to the detestation of all true lovers of +our happy constitution. The magician then thinks fit to endeavour to +pacify the hero's indignation, which we before took notice of, +on seeing persons less worthy than himself preferred to the dignity +of peerage, by the mention of two of those newly created, whose +promotion equally reflects the highest honour upon government. + + _Lonsdale_ and _Camelford_ thrice honour'd names! + Whose god-like bosoms glow with patriot flames: + To serve his country, at her utmost need, + By this, behold a ship of war decreed; + While that, impell'd by all a convert's zeal, + Devotes his borough to the public weal. + But still the wise their second thoughts prefer, + Thus both our patriots on these gifts demur; + Ere yet she's launch'd the vessel runs aground, + And _Sarum_ sells for twice three thousand pound. + +The generous offers of those public-spirited noblemen, the one during +the administration of the Marquis of Landsdown, proposing to build +a seventy-four-gun ship, for the public service; the other on +Mr. Pitt's motion for a parliamentary reform, against which he had +before not only voted, but written a pamphlet, declaring his readiness +to make a present of his burgage tenure borough of Old Sarum to the +bank of England, are too fresh in the recollection of their grateful +countrymen to need being here recorded. With respect, however, to the +subsequent sale of the borough for the "twice three thousand pounds," +our author does not himself seem perfectly clear, since we afterwards +meet with these lines: + + Say, what gave _Camelford_ his wish'd-for rank? + Did he devote _Old Sarum_ to the Bank? + Or did he not, that envied rank to gain, + Transfer the victim to the Treas'ry's fame? + +His character of the Earl of Lonsdale is too long to be here inserted, +but is perhaps one of the most finished parts of the whole poem: +we cannot, however, refrain from transcribing the four following +lines, on account of the peculiar happiness of their expression. The +reader will not forget the declaration of this great man, that he was +in possession of the land, the fire, and the water, of the town +of Whitehaven. + + E'en by the elements his pow'r confess'd, + Of mines and boroughs _Lonsdale_ stands possess'd; + And one sad servitude alike denotes + The slave that labours, and the slave that votes. + +Our paper now reminds us that it is time to close our observations +for the present, which we shall do with four lines added by our author +to the former part of the sixth book, in compliment to his favourite, +the Marquis of Graham, on his late happy marriage. + + With joy _Britannia_ sees her fav'rite goose + Fast bound and _pinion'd_ in the nuptial noose; + Presaging fondly from so fair a mate, + A brood of goslings, cackling in debate. + +[1] See Mr. Rolle's speech in the parliamentary debates. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +Our _dying drummer_, in consequence of his extraordinary exertions in +delineating those exalted personages, the MARQUIS OF BUCKINGHAM and +DUKE OF RICHMOND; exertions which we think we may venture to pronounce +unparalleled by any one, drummer, or other, similarly circumstanced; +unfortunately found himself so debilitated, that we were very fearful, +like Balaam's ass, LORD VALLETORT, or any other equally strange +animal, occasionally endowed with speech, his task being executed, +that his mouth would for ever after remain incapable of utterance. + +But though his powers might be suspended, fortunately the + + ----in ternam clauduntur lumina noctem, + +has, in consequence of the timely relaxation afforded to the wounded +gentleman during the whole of our last number, been for the present +avoided; and, like Mr. PITT's question of parliamentary reform, +adjourned to a more _expedient moment_. + +To our drummer we might say, as well as to our matchless premier, + + Larga quidem DRANCE, semper tibi copia fandi, + +which, though, some malevolent critics might profligately translate + + "There is no end to thy prosing," + +those who have read our drummer's last dying words, or heard our +minister's new made speeches, will admit to be in both instances +equally inapplicable. + +The natural powers of our author here again burst forth with such +renovated energy, that, like the swan, his music seems to increase +as his veins become drained. + +Alluding to an event too recent to require elucidation, after +describing the virtues of the most amiable personage in the kingdom, +and more particularly applauding her charity, which he says is so +unbounded, that it + + ------Surmounts dull Nature's ties, + Nor even to WINCHELSEA a smile denies. + +He proceeds + + And thou too, LENOX! worthy of thy name! + Thou heir to RICHMOND, and to RICHMOND's fame! + On equal terms, when BRUNSWICK deign'd to grace + The spurious offspring of the STUART race; + When thy rash arm design'd her favorite dead, + The christian triumph'd, and the mother fled: + No rage indignant shook her pious frame, + No partial doating swayed the saint-like dame; + But spurn'd and scorn'd where Honor's sons resort, + Her friendship sooth'd thee, in thy monarch's court. + +How much does this meek resignation, in respect to COLONEL LENOX, +appear superior to the pagan rage of MEZENTIUS towards NEAS, +on somewhat of a similar occasion, when, instead of desiring him +to dance a minuet at the Etrurian court, he savagely, and of malice +prepense, hurls his spear at the foe of his son, madly exclaiming + + --Jam venio moriturus et hc tibi porto + Dona prius. + +But our author excels Virgil, as much as the amiable qualities of +the great personage described, exceed those of MEZENTIUS: that august +character instead of dying, did not so much as faint; and so far +from hurling a spear at Mr. LENOX, she did not cast at him even +an angry glance. + + The christian triumph'd, &c. + +We are happy in noticing this line, and indeed the whole of the +passage, on another account, as it establishes the orthodoxy of the +drummer upon so firm a basis, that DR. HORSLEY himself could scarcely +object to his obtaining a seat in parliament. + +There is something so extremely ingenious in the following lines, +and they account too on such rational grounds for a partiality that +has puzzled so many able heads, that we cannot forbear transcribing +them. + +Apostrophizing the exalted personage before alluded to, he says, + + Early you read, nor did the advice deride, + Suspicion ne'er should taint a CSAR's bride; + And who in spotless purity so fit + To guard an honest wife's good fame, as PITT. + +The beautiful compliment here introduced to the chastity of our +immaculate premier, from the pen of such an author, must give him +the most supreme satisfaction. And + + O decus Itali virgo!!! + +Long mayst thou continue to deserve it!!! + +From treating of the minister's virgin innocence, our author, by a +very unaccountable transition, proceeds to a family man, namely, +the modern MCENAS, the CENSOR MORUM, the ARBITER ELEGANTIARUM +of Great Britain; in a word, to the most illustrious JAMES CECIL +EARL OF SALISBURY, and lord chamberlain to his majesty, whom, +in a kind of episode he thus addresses, + + Oh! had the gods but kindly will'd it so + That thou had'st lived two hundred years ago: + Had'st thou then rul'd the stage, from sportive scorn + Thy prudent care had guarded peers unborn. + No simple chamberlains had libell'd been, + No OSTRICKS fool'd in SHAKESPEARE's saucy scene. + +But then wisely recollecting this not to be altogether the most +friendly of wishes, in as much, that, if his lordship had been +chamberlain to QUEEN ELIZABETH, he could not, in the common course +of events, have been, as his honour SIR RICHARD PEPPER ARDEN most +sweetly sings in his PROBATIONARY ODE, + + "The tallest, fittest man to go before the king," + +In the days of GEORGE THE THIRD; by which we should most probably +not only have been deprived of the attic entertainments of SIGNORS +DELPINI and CARNEVALE, but perhaps too have lost some of our best +dramatic writers; such as GREATHEAD, HAYLEY, DR. STRATFORD, and +TOMMY VAUGHAN: our author, with a sudden kind of repentance, says, + + But hence fond thoughts, nor be by passion hurried! + Had he then lived, he now were dead and buried. + Not now should theatres his orders own; + Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn. + +If we might be so presumptuous as to impute a fault to our author, +we should say that he is rather too fond of what the French style +_equivoque_.--This partiality of his breaks forth in a variety of +places; such as SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY being + + ------a knowing man in _grain_, + ------MARTIN's _sterling_ sense, &c. &c. + +In the present instance too, where, supposing the noble Marquis +to have lived two hundred years ago, he says, + + "Not now should theatres his _orders_ own." + +He leaves us completely in the dark, whether by the word _orders_, +we are to understand his lordship's commands as _theatrical +anatomist_, or the _recommendations_, which he is pleased to make to +the managers of our public amusements, to admit his dependants and +servants gratuitously; and which recommendations in the vulgar tongue +of the theatres are technically styled _orders_. If we might hazard +an opinion, from the known condescension of his lordship, and his +attention to the accommodation of his inferiors, we should be inclined +to construe it in the latter sense; an attention, indeed, which, +in the case in question, is said to be so unbounded, that he might +exclaim with NEAS + + Nemo ex hoc numero mihi non donatus abibit. + +Should any caviler here object, that for every five shillings thus +generously bestowed on the dependant, a proportionate _vacuum_ is +made in the pocket of the manager, let him recollect, that it is +a first and immutable principle of civil policy, that _the convenience +of the few must yield to the accommodation of the many_; and, that +the noble Marquis, as a peer and legislator of Great Britain, +is too closely attached to our excellent constitution to swerve +from so old and established a maxim. + +With respect to the last line of the couplet, + + "Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn," + +we must confess that our author's imagination has here been rather +too prurient.--His lordship's head does not, as far as we can learn, +upon the most minute enquiry, _at present_, grace any alehouse +whatever--It was indeed for some little time displayed at HATFIELD in +HERTS; but the words "_Good entertainment within_," being written +under it, they were deemed by travellers so extremely unapposite, that +to avoid further expence, LORD SALISBURY's head was taken down, and +"_The old bald face Stag_" resumed its pristine station. + +Yet, enraptured with his first idea, our author soon forgets his late +reflection, and proceeds on the supposition of the noble lord having +exercised his pruning knife upon SHAKESPEARE and JOHNSON, and the +advantages which would have been derived from it, some of which he +thus beautifully describes: + + To plays should RICHMOND then undaunted come, + Secured from listening to PAROLLES's drum: + Nor shouldst thou, CAMELFORD, the fool reprove, + Who lost a world to gain a wanton's love. + "Give me a horse," CATHCART should ne'er annoy: + Nor thou, oh! PITT, behold the angry boy. + +The last line but one of these, + + Give me a horse, &c. + +seems to allude to a circumstance that occurred in America, where his +lordship being on foot, and having to march nearly five miles over +a sandy plain in the heat of summer, fortunately discovered, tied to +the door of a house, a horse belonging to an officer of cavalry. +His lordship thinking that riding was pleasanter than walking, +and probably also imagining that the owner might be better engaged, +judged it expedient to avail himself of this steed, which thus so +fortunately presented itself, and accordingly borrowed it. The +subsequent apology, however, which he made when the proprietor, rather +out of humour at his unlooked-for pedestrian expedition, came up to +reclaim his lost goods, was so extremely ample, that the most rigid +asserter of the old fusty doctrines of _meum_ and _tuum_ cannot deny +that the dismounted cavalier had full compensation for any +inconvenience that he might have experienced. And we must add, that +every delicacy of the noble lord on this subject ought now to +terminate. + +We shall conclude with an extract from some complimentary verses by +a noble secretary, who is himself both an AMATEUR and ARTISTE.--Were +any thing wanting to our author's fame, this elegant testimony in his +favour must be decisive with every reader of taste. + + Oh! mighty ROLLE, may long thy fame be known! + And long thy virtues in his verse be shewn! + When THURLOW's christian meekness, SYDNEY's sense, + When RICHMOND's valour, HOPETOWN's eloquence, + When HAWKESB'RY's patriotism neglected lie + Intomb'd with CHESTERFIELD's humanity, + When PRETTYMEN, sage guardian of PITT's youth, + Shall lose each claim to honesty and truth, + When each pure blush DUNDAS's cheek can boast, + With ARDEN's law and nose alike are lost, + When grateful ROBINSON shall be forgot, + And not a line be read of MAJOR SCOTT, + When PHIPPS no more shall listening crouds engage, + And HAMLET's jests be rased from memory's page, + When PITT each patriot's joy no more shall prove, + Nor from fond beauty catch the sigh of love, + When even thy sufferings, virtuous chief! shall fade, + And BASSET's horsewhip but appear a shade, + Thy sacred spirit shall effulgence shed + And raise to kindred fame the mighty dead: + Long ages shall admire thy matchless soul, + And children's children lisp the praise of ROLLE. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +It now only remains for us to perform the last melancholy office +to the dying drummer, and to do what little justice we can to the +very ingenious and striking manner in which our author closes at once +his prophecy and his life. + +It is a trite observation, that the curious seldom hear any good +of themselves; and all epic poets, who have sent their heroes to +conjurors, have, with excellent morality, taught us, that they who +pry into futurity, too often anticipate affliction.--VIRGIL plainly +intimates this lesson in the caution which he puts into the mouth +of ANCHISES, when NEAS enquires into the future destiny of the +younger MARCELLUS, whose premature death forms the pathetic subject +of the concluding vision in the sixth book of the NEID: + + "O nate, ingentum lectum ne qure tuorum." + + "Seek not to know (the ghost replied with tears) + The sorrows of thy sons in future years." + DRYDEN. + +Then, instead of declining any further answer, he very unnecessarily +proceeds to make his son as miserable as he can, by detailing all +the circumstances best calculated to create the most tender +interest.--The revelation of disagreeable events to come, is by our +poet more naturally put into the mouth of an enemy.--After running over +many more noble names than the records of the herald's office afford +us any assistance in tracing, the second sighted Saxon, in the midst +of his dying convulsions, suddenly bursts into a violent explosion +of laughter.--This, of course, excites the curiosity of ROLLO, as it +probably will that of our readers; upon which the drummer insults +his conqueror with rather a long but very lively recital of all +the numerous disappointments and mortifications with which he foresees +that the destinies will affect the virtues of ROLLO's great +descendant, the present illustrious member for Devonshire. He mentions +Mr. ROLLE's many unsuccessful attempts to obtain the honour of the +peerage; alludes to some of the little splenetive escapes into which +even his elevated magnanimity is well known to have been for a moment +betrayed on those trying occasions. We now see all the drift and +artifice of the poet, and why he thought the occasion worthy of making +the drummer so preternaturally long winded, in displaying at full all +the glories of the house of peers; it was to heighten by contrast the +chagrin of ROLLO at finding the doors of this august assembly for ever +barred against his posterity. + +To understand the introductory lines of the following passage, it is +necessary to inform our readers, if they are not already acquainted +with the fact, that somewhere in the back settlements of America, +there is now actually existing an illegitimate batch of little +ROLLE's. + + Though wide should spread thy spurious race around, + In other worlds, which must not yet be found, + While they with savages in forests roam + Deserted, far from their paternal home; + A mightier savage in thy wilds EX-MOOR, + Their well-born brother shall his fate deplore, + By friends neglected, as by foes abhorr'd, + No duke, no marquis, not a simple lord. + Tho' thick as MARGARET's knights with each address, + New peers, on peers, in crouds each other press, + He only finds, of all the friends of PITT, + His luckless head no coronet will fit. + +But what our author seems more particularly to have laboured, is a +passage which he has lately inserted: it relates to the cruel slight +which was shewn to Mr. ROLLE during the late royal progress through +the west.--Who is there that remembers the awful period when the +regency was in suspence, but must at the same time remember the +patriotic, decent, and consistent conduct of Mr. ROLLE? How laudably, +in his parliamentary speeches, did he co-operate to the best of his +power, with the popular pamphlets of the worthy Dr. WITHERS! How nobly +did he display his steady loyalty to the father, while he endeavoured +to shake the future right of the son to the throne of his ancestors! +How brightly did he manifest his attachment to the person of his +MAJESTY, by voting to seclude him in the hour of sickness from the +too distressing presence of his royal brothers and his children; and, +after all, when he could no longer resist the title of the heir +apparent, with what unembarrassed grace did he agree to the address of +his constituents, complimenting the prince on his accession to that +high charge, _to which his_ SITUATION and VIRTUES _so eminently_ +ENTITLED _him:_ yet, even then, with how peculiar a dexterity did Mr. +ROLLE mingle what some would have thought an affront, with his +praises, directly informing his ROYAL HIGHNESS that he had no +confidence whatever in any virtues but those of the minister. But, +alas, how uncertain is the reward of all sublunary merit! Those good +judges who inquired into the literary labours of the pious and +charitable Dr. WITHERS, did not exalt him to that conspicuous post, +which he so justly deserved, and would so well have graced; neither +did one ray of royal favour cheer the loyalty of Mr. ROLLE during +his majesty's visit to DEVONSHIRE; though with an unexampled +liberality, the worthy member had contracted for the fragments of Lord +MOUNT EDGECUMBE's desert, and the ruins of his triumphal arches; had +brought down several of the minister's young friends to personate +virgins in white, sing, and strew flowers along the way; and had +actually dispatched a chaise and four to Exeter, for his old friend +and instructor, _mynheer_ HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERHAGEN, dancing-master and +poet; who had promised to prepare both the _balets_ and _ballads_ for +this glorious festivity. And for whom was Mr. ROLLE neglected? For his +colleague, Mr. BASTARD; a gentleman who, in his political +oscillations, has of late vibrated much more frequently to the +opposition than to the treasury bench. This most unaccountable +preference we are certain must be matter of deep regret to all our +readers of sensibility;--to the drummer it is matter of exultation. + + In vain with such bold spirit shall he speak, + That furious WITHERS shall to him seem meek; + In vain for party urge his country's fate; + To save the church, in vain distract the state; + In loyal duty to the father shewn, + Doubt the son's title to his future throne; + And from the suffering monarch's couch remove + All care fraternal, and all filial love: + Then when mankind in choral praise unite, + Though blind before, see virtues beaming bright; + Yet feigning to confide, distrust evince, + And while he flatters, dare insult his PRINCE. + Vain claims!--when now, the people's sins transferred + On their own heads, mad riot is the word; + When through the west in gracious progress goes + The monarch, happy victor of his woes; + While Royal smiles gild every cottage wall, + _Hope never comes to_ ROLLE, _that comes to all_; + And more with envy to disturb his breast, + BASTARD's glad roof receives the Royal guest. + +Here the drummer, exhausted with this last wonderful exertion, +begins to find his pangs increase fast upon him; and what follows, +for two and thirty lines, is all interrupted with different +interjections of laughter and pain, till the last line, which consists +entirely of such interjections.--Our readers may probably recollect +the well-known line of THOMPSON. + + "OH, SOPHONISBA, SOPHONISBA, OH!" + +Which, by the way, is but a poor plagiarism from SHAKESPEARE: + + "OH, DESDEMONA, DESDEMONA, OH!" + +There is certainly in this line a very pretty change rung in the +different ways of arranging the name and the interjection; but perhaps +there may be greater merit, though of another kind, in the sudden +change of passions which OTWAY has expressed in the dying interjection +of PIERRE: + + "We have deceiv'd the senate--ha! ha! oh!" + +These modern instances, however, fall very short of the admirable +use made of interjections by the ancients, especially the GREEKS, +who did not scruple to put together whole lines of them.--Thus in +the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, besides a great number of hemistics, +we find a verse and a half: + + {"----------Papai. + Papa, papa, papa, papa, papa papai."} + +The harsh and intractable genius of our language will not permit us +to give any adequate idea of the soft, sweet, and innocent sound +of the original.--It may, however, be faithfully, though coarsely, +translated + + "------Alas! + Alack! alack! alack! alack! alack! alas!" + +At the same time, we have -our doubts whether some chastised tastes +may not prefer the simplicity of ARISTOPHANES; though it must not +be concealed, that there are critics who think he meant a wicked +stroke of ridicule at the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, when, in his +own PLUTUS, he makes his sycophant, at the smell of roast meat, +exclaim-- + + {"Yy, yy, yy, yy, yy, yy!"} + +Which we shall render by an excellent interjection, first coined +from the rich mint of MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, in his incomparable Ode-- + + "Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, + sniff, + sniff, sniff." + +But whatever may be the comparative merits of these passages, ancient +and modern, we are confident no future critic will dispute but that +they are all excelled by the following exquisite couplet of our +author: + + Ha! ha!--this soothes me in severest woe; + Ho! ho!--ah! ah!--oh! oh!--ha! ah!--ho!--oh!!! + +We have now seen the drummer quietly inurn'd, and sung our requiem +over his grave: we hope, however, that + + ----He, dead corse, may yet, in complete calf, + Revisit oft the glimpses of the candle, + Making night chearful. + +We had flattered ourselves with the hope of concluding the criticisms +on the ROLLIAD with an ode of Mr. ROLLE himself, written in the +original EX-MOOR dialect; but we have hitherto, owing to the eagerness +with which that gentleman's literary labours are sought after, +unfortunately been unable to procure a copy. The learned Mr. DAINES +BARRINGTON having, however, kindly hinted to us, that he thought +he had once heard Sir JOHN HAWKINS say, that he believed there was +something applicable to a drum in the possession of Mr. STEVENS, +the erudite annotator on SHAKESPEARE, Sir JOSEPH BANKS kindly wrote +to that gentleman; who, upon searching into his manuscripts at +Hampstead, found the following epitaph, which is clearly designed +for our drummer. Mr. STEVENS was so good as to accompany his kind +and invaluable communication with a dissertation to prove that this +FRANCIS of GLASTONBURY, from similarity of style and orthography, +must have been the author of the epitaph which declares that +celebrated outlaw, ROBIN HOOD, to have been a British peer. Mr. PEGGE +too informs us, that the HARLEIAN MISCELLANY will be found to confirm +this idea; and at the same time suggests, whether, as that dignified +character, Mr. WARREN HASTINGS, has declared himself to be descended +from an Earl of HUNTINGDON, and the late Earl and his family have, +through some unaccountable fantasy, as constantly declined the honour +of the affinity, this apparent difference of opinion may not be +accounted for by supposing him to be descended from _that_ Earl?--But, +if we are to imagine any descendants of that exalted character to be +still in existence, with great deference to Mr. PEGGE's better +judgment, might not Sir ALEXANDER HOOD, and his noble brother, from +similarity of name, appear more likely to be descendants of this +celebrated archer? and from him also inherit that skill which the +gallant admiral, on a never to be forgotten occasion, so eminently +displayed in drawing a _long bow?_ We can only now lament, that we +have not room for any minute enquiry into these various hypotheses, +and that we are under the necessity of proceeding to the drummer's +epitaph, and the conclusion of our criticisms. + +[Blackletter: + "A stalwart Saxon here doth lie, + Japeth nat, men of Normandie; + Rollo nought scoft his dyand wordes + Of poynt mo perrand than a swordis. + And leal folk of Englelonde + Shall haven hem yvir mo in honde. + Bot syn that in his life I trowe, + Of shepes skynnes he had ynowe, + For yvir he drommed thereupon: + Now he, pardie, is dede and gone, + May no man chese a shepis skynne + To wrappe his dyand wordes inne." + Od. Frauncis of Glastonbury.] + + + + +POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + + +ROSE; OR, _THE COMPLAINT._ + +ARGUMENT. + +In this Eclogue our Author has imitated the Second of his favourite +Virgil, with more than his usual Precision. The Subject of Mr. ROSE's +COMPLAINT is, that he is left to do the whole Business of the Treasury +during the broiling Heats of Summer, while his Colleague, Mr. STEELE, +enjoys the cool Breezes from the Sea, with Mr. PITT, at +Brighthelmstone. In this the Scholar has improved on the Original of +his great Master, as the Cause of the Distress which he relates is +much more natural. This Eclogue, from some internal Evidence, we +believe to have been written in the Summer of 1785, though there may +be one or two Allusions that have been inserted at a later Period. + + None more than ROSE, amid the courtly ring, + Lov'd BILLY, joy of JENKY and the KING. + But vain his hope to shine in BILLY's eyes; + Vain all his votes, his speeches, and his lies. + STEELE's happier claims the boy's regard engage; 5 + Alike their studies, nor unlike their age: + With STEELE, companion of his vacant hours, + Oft would he seek Brighthelmstone's sea-girt tow'rs; + For STEELE, relinquish Beauty's trifling talk, + With STEELE each morning ride, each evening walk; 10 + Or in full tea-cups drowning cares of state, + On gentler topics urge the mock debate; + On coffee now the previous question move; + Now rise a surplusage of cream to prove; + Pass muffins in Committees of Supply, 15 + And "butter'd toast" amend by adding "dry:" + Then gravely sage, as in St. Stephen's scenes, + With grief more true, propose the Ways and Means; + Or wanting these, unanimous of will, + They negative the leave to bring a bill. 20 + In one sad joy all ROSE's comfort lay; + Pensive he sought the treasury day by day; + There, in his inmost chamber lock'd alone, + To boxes red and green he pour'd his moan + In rhymes uncouth; for Rose, to business bred 25 + A purser's clerk, in rhyme was little read; + Nor, since his learning with his fortunes grew, + Had such vain arts engaged his sober view; + For STOCKDALE's shelves contented to compose + The humbler poetry of lying prose. 30 + O barb'rous BILLY! (thus would he begin) + ROSE and his lies you value not a pin; + Yet to compassion callous as a Turk, + You kill me, cruel, with eternal work. + Now, after six long months of nothing done, 35 + Each to his home, our youthful statesmen run; + The mongrel 'squires, whose votes our Treasury pays, + Now, with their hunters, till the winter graze; + Now e'en the reptiles of the Blue and Buff, + In rural leisure, scrawl their factious stuff; 40 + Already pious HILL, with timely cares, + New songs, new hymns, for harvest-home prepares: + But with the love-lorne beauties, whom I mark + Thin and more thin, parading in the park, + I yet remain; and ply my busy feet 45 + From _Duke-street_ hither, hence to _Downing-street_, + In vain!--while far from this deserted scene, + With happier STEELE you saunter on the Steine. + And for a paltry salary, stript of fees, + Thus shall I toil, while others live at ease? 50 + Better, another summer long, obey + Self-weening LANSDOWNE's transitory sway: + Tho' GRAFTON call'd him proud, I found him kind; + With me he puzzled, and with him I din'd. + Better with FOX in opposition share, 55 + Black tho' he be, and tho' my BILLY fair. + Think, BILLY, think JOHN BULL a tasteless brute, + By black, or fair, decides not the dispute: + Ah! think, how politics resemble chess; + Tho' now the white exult in short success, 60 + One erring move a sad reverse may bring, + The black may triumph, and check-mate our king. + You slight me, BILLY; and but little heed, + What talents I possess, what merits plead; + How in white lies abounds my fertile brain; 65 + And with what forgeries I those lies sustain. + A thousand fictions wander in my mind; + With me all seasons ready forgeries find. + I know the charm by ROBINSON employed, + How to the Treas'ry JACK his rats decoy'd. 70 + Not wit, but malice, PRETTYMAN reveals, + When to my head he argues from my heels. + My skull is not so thick; but last recess + I finish'd a whole pamphlet for the press; + And if by some seditious scribbler maul'd, 75 + The pen of CHALMERS to my aid I call'd, + With PRETTY would I write, tho' judg'd by you; + If all that authors think themselves be true. + O! to the smoky town would BILLY come; + With me draw estimates, or cast a sum; 80 + Pore on the papers which these trunks contain, + Then with red tape in bundles tie again; + Chaste tho' he be, if BILLY cannot sing, + Yet should he play to captivate the KING. + Beneath two Monarchs of the Brunswick line, 85 + In wealth to flourish, and in arms to shine, + Was Britain's boast; 'till GEORGE THE THIRD arose, + In arts to gain his triumphs o'er our foes. + From RAMSAY's pallet, and from WHITEHEAD's lyre, + He sought renown that ages may admire: 90 + And RAMSAY gone, the honours of a name + To REYNOLDS gives, but trusts to WEST for fame: + For he alone, with subtler judgment blest, + Shall teach the world how REYNOLDS yields to WEST. + He too, by merit measuring the meed, 95 + Bids WARTON now to WHITEHEAD's bays succeed; + But, to reward FAUQUIER's illustrious toils, + Reserves the richer half of WHITEHEAD's spoils. + For well the monarch saw with prescient eye, + That WARTON's wants kind OXFORD would supply, 100 + Who, justly liberal to the task uncouth, + Learns from St. JAMES's hard historic truth. + Blest OXFORD! in whose bowers the Laureat sings! + O faithful to the worst, and best of Kings, + Firm to the Right Divine of regal sway, 105 + Though Heav'n and Thou long differ'd where it lay! + Still of preferment be thy Sister Queen! + Thy nobler zeal disdains a thought so mean; + Still in thy German Cousin's martial school, + Be each young hope of BRITAIN train'd to rule; 110 + But thine are honours of distinguishd grace, + Thou once a year shall view thy sovereign's face, + While round him croud thy loyal sons, amaz'd, + To see him stare at tow'rs, by WYATT rais'd. + Yet fear not, OXFORD, lest a monarch's smiles 115 + Lure fickle WYATT from the unfinish'd piles; + To thee shall WYATT still be left in peace, + 'Till ENGLISH ATHENS rival ancient Greece. + For him see CHAMBERS, greatly pretty, draw + Far other plans than ever Grecian saw; 120 + Where two trim dove-cotes rise on either hand, + O'er the proud roofs, whose front adorns the Strand; + While thro' three gateways, like three key-holes spied, + A bowl inverted crowns the distant side. + But music most great GEORGE's cares relieves, 125 + Sage arbiter of minims, and of breves! + Yet not by him is living genius fed, + With taste more frugal he protects the dead; + Not all alike; for, though a Briton born, + He laughs all natal prejudice to scorn; 130 + His nicer ear our barbarous masters pain, + Though PURCELL, our own Orpheus, swell the strain; + And mighty HANDEL, a gigantic name, + Owes to his country half his tuneful fame. + Nor of our souls neglectful, GEORGE provides, 135 + To lead his flocks, his own Right Reverend guides; + Himself makes bishops, and himself promotes, + Nor seeks to influence, tho' he gives, their votes. + Then for a Prince so pious, so refin'd, + An air of HANDEL, or a psalm to grind, 140 + Disdain not, BILLY: for his sovereign's sake + What pains did PAGET with his gamut take! + And to an Earl what rais'd the simple Peer? + What but that gamut, to his Sovereign dear? + O come, my BILLY, I have bought for you 145 + The barrel-organ of a strolling Jew; + Dying, he sold it me at second-hand: + Sev'n stops it boasts, with barrels at command. + How at my prize did envious UXBRIDGE fume, + Just what he wish'd for his new music-room. 150 + Come, BILLY, come. Two wantons late I dodg'd, + And mark'd the dangerous alley where they lodg'd. + Fair as pearl-powder are their opening charms, + In tender beauty; fit for BILLY's arms; + And from the toilet blooming as they seem, 155 + Two cows would scarce supply them with cold cream. + The house, the name to BILLY will I show, + Long has DUNDAS the secret wish'd to know, + And he shall know: since services like these + Have little pow'r our virtuous youth to please. 160 + Come, BILLY, come. For you each rising day + My maids, tho' tax'd, shall twine a huge bouquet: + That you, next winter, at the birth-night ball + In loyal splendor may out-dazzle all; + Dear Mrs. ROSE her needle shall employ, 165 + To 'broider a fine waistcoat for my boy; + In gay design shall blend with skilful toil, + Gold, silver, spangles, crystals, beads, and foil, + 'Till the rich work in bright confusion show + Flow'rs of all hues--and many more than blow. 170 + I too, for something to present--some book + Which BILLY wants, and I can spare--will look: + EDEN's five letters, with an half-bound set + Of pamphlet schemes to pay the public debt; + And pasted there, too thin to bind alone, 175 + My SHELBURNE's speech so gracious from the throne. + COCKER's arithmetic my gift shall swell; + By JOHNSON how esteem'd, let BOSWELL tell. + Take too these Treaties by DEBRETT; and here + Take to explain them, SALMON's Gazetteer. 180 + And you, Committee labours of DUNDAS, + And you, his late dispatches to Madras, + Bound up with BILLY's fav'rite act I'll send; + Together bound--for sweetly thus you blend. + ROSE, you're a blockhead! Let no factious scribe 185 + Hear such a thought, that BILLY heeds a bribe: + Or grant th' Immaculate, not proof to pelf, + Has STEELE a soul less liberal than yourself? + --Zounds! what a blunder! worse than when I made + A FRENCH arrt, the guard of BRITISH trade. 190 + Ah! foolish boy, whom fly you?--Once a week + The KING from Windsor deigns these scenes to seek. + Young GALLOWAY too is here, in waiting still. + Our coasts let RICHMOND visit, if he will; + There let him build, and garrison his forts, 195 + If such his whim:--Be our delight in courts. + What various tastes divide the fickle town! + One likes the fair, and one admires the brown; + The stately, QUEENSB'RY; HINCHINBROOK, the small; + THURLOW loves servant-maids; DUNDAS loves all. 200 + O'er MORNINGTON French prattle holds command; + HASTINGS buys German phlegm at second-hand; + The dancer's agile limbs win DORSET's choice; + Whilst BRUDENELL dies enamour'd of a voice: + 'Tis PEMBROKE's dearest pleasure to elope, 205 + And BILLY, best of all things, loves--a trope; + My BILLY I: to each his taste allow: + Well said the dame, I ween, who kiss'd her cow. + Lo! in the West the sun's broad orb disp lay'd + O'er the Queen's palace, lengthens every shade: 210 + See the last loiterers now the Mall resign; + E'en Poets go, that they may seem to dine: + Yet, fasting, here I linger to complain. + Ah! ROSE, GEORGE ROSE! what phrenzy fires your brain! + With pointless paragraphs the POST runs wild; 215 + And FOX, a whole week long, is unrevil'd: + Our vouchers lie half-vamp'd, and without end + Tax-bills on tax-bills rise to mend and mend. + These, or what more we need, some new deceit + Prepare to gull the Commons, when they meet. 220 + Tho' scorn'd by BILLY, you ere long may find + Some other Minister, like LANSDOWNE kind. + He ceas'd, went home, ate, drank his fill, and then + Snor'd in his chair, 'till supper came at ten. 224 + + +IMITATONS. + + VIRGIL. ECLOGUE II. + + Formosum pastor Corydon, ardebat Alexin, + Delicias domini; nec, quid speraret habebat, + Tantum inter dnsas, umbrosa cacumina, fagos + Assidu veniebat; ibi hc incondita solus + Montibus et sylvis studio jactabat inani. + + O crudelis Alexi! nihil mea carmina curas; + Nil nostri miserere: mori me denique coges. + Nunc etiam pecudes umbras et frigora captant; + Nunc virides etiam occultant spineta lacertos; + Thestylis et rapido fessis messoribus stu + Allia serpyllumque herbas contundit olentis. + + At mecum raucis, tua dum vestigia lustro, + Sole sub ardenti resonant arbusta cicadis. + Nonn fuit melius tristes Amyrillidis iras + Atque superba pata fastidia? Nonn Menalcan + Quamvis ille niger, quamvis tu candidus esses, + O formose puer, nimim ne crede colori. + Alba ligustra cadunt, vaccinia nigra leguntur. + Sum tibi despectus; nec qui sim quris, Alexi: + Quam dives pecoris nivei, quam lactis abundans. + Mille me Siculis errant in montibus agn: + + Lac mihi non state novum, non frigore desit. + Canto, qu solitus, si quando armenta vocabat, + Amphion Dircus in Actoeo Aracyntho. + Nec sum ade informis: nuper me in littore vidi, + Cum placidum ventis staret mare: non ego Daphnim, + Judice te, metuam, si nunquam fallat imago. + + O tantum libeat mecum tibi sordida rura + Atque humilis habitare casas, et figere cervos, + Hdorumque gregem viridi compellere hibisco. + Mecum un in Sylois imitabere Pana canendo. + + Pan primus calamos cer conjungere plures + instituit;---------------- + ------Pan curat oves, oviumque magistros. + Neu te poeniteat calamo trivisse labellum. + Hc eadem ut sciret, quid non faciebat Amyntas? + + Est mihi disparibus septem compacta cicutis + Fistula, Damtas dono mihi quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens: "te nunc habet ista secundum." + Dixit Damtas: invidit stultus Amyntas. + + Prtere duo-nec tut mihi valle reperti + Capreoli, sparsis etiam nunc pellibus albo, + Bina die siccant ovis ubera; quos tibi servo. + Jampridem a me illos abducere Thestylis orat, + Et faciet; quoniam sordent tibi munera nostra! + + Huc ades, O formose puer. Tibi lilia plenis + Ecce ferunt nymph calathis: tibi candida Nas + Pallentis violas, et summa papavera carpens + Narcissum et florem jungit bene olentis anethi. + Tum casi, atque aliis intexens suavibus herbis + Mollia luteol pingit vaccinia calth. + + Ipse ego cana legam tener lanugine mala, + Castaneasque nuces, mea quas Amaryllis amabat: + Addam ceroa pruna; honos erit huic quoque pomo + Et vos, O lauri carpam, et te, proxima myrtus + Sic posit, quoniam suaves miscetis odores. + + Rusticus es, Corydon! nec munera curat Alexis + Nec, si muneribus certes, concedat Iolas. + Eheu! quid volui misero mihi? Floribus Austrum + Perditus et liquidis immissi fontibus apros. + Quem fugis, ah! demens? habitrunt Di quoque sylvas, + Dardaniusque Paris. Pallas, quas condidit, arces + Ipsa colat: Nobis placeant ante omnia sylv. + + Torva lena lupum sequitur lupus ipse capellam, + Florentem cytasum sequitur lasciva capella; + Te Corydon, O Alexi: trahit sua quemque voluptas. + Me tamen urit amor: quis enim modis adsit amori. + Aspice! aratra jugo referunt suspensa juvenci, + Et sol crescentis discedens duplicat umbras: + Ah! Corydon, Corydon, qu te dementia cepit? + Semiputata tibi frondos vitis in ulmo est. + Quin tu aliquid saltem, potius quorum indiget usus, + Viminibus, mollique paras detexere junco? + Invenies alium, si te hic fastidit, Alexin. + + +NOTES. + +Ver. 29 and 32 allude to a pamphlet on the Irish Propositions, +commonly called the Treasury Pamphlet, and universally attributed +to Mr. Rose. This work of the Honourable Secretary's was eminently +distinguished by a gentleman-like contempt for the pedantry of +grammar, and a poetical abhorrence of dull fact. + +Ver. 42. For a long account of Sir Richard Hill's harvest-home, +and of the godly hymns and ungodly ballads, sung on the occasion, +see the newspapers in Autumn, 1784. + +Ver. 49. Justice to the minister obliges us to observe, that he is +by no means chargeable with the scandalous illiberality above +intimated, of reducing the income of the Secretaries of the Treasury +to the miserable pittance of 3000l. a year. This was one of the many +infamous acts which to deservedly drew down the hatred of all +true friends to their king and country, on those pretended patriots, +the Whigs. + +Ver. 66. We know not of what forgeries Mr. Rose here boasts. +Perhaps he may mean the paper relative to his interview with +Mr. Gibbon and Mr. Reynolds, so opportunely found in an obscure +drawer of Mr. Pitt's bureau. See the Parliamentary debates of 1785. + +Ver. 71. Alludes to a couplet in the LYARS, which was written before +the present Eclogue. + +Ver. 78. The _Reply to the Treasury Pamphlet_ was answered, not by +Mr. Rote himself, but by Mr. George Chalmers. + +Ver. 88. The following digression on his Majesty's love of the +fine arts, though it be somewhat long, will carry its apology with +it in the truth and beauty of the panegyric. The judicious reader +will observe that the style is more elevated, like the subject, +and for this the poet may plead both the example and precept of +his favourite Virgil. + + --------sylv sint Consule dign. + +Ver. 91 and 92. Since the death of Ramsay, Sir Joshua Reynolds +is _nominally_ painter to the king, though his Majesty sits only +to Mr. West. + +Ver. 93. This line affords a striking instance of our Poet's +dexterity in the use of his classical learning. He here translates +a single phrase from Horace. + + _Judicium subtile_ videndis artibus illud. + +When he could not possibly apply what concludes, + + Boetum in crasso jurares ere natum. + +Ver. 95. Our most gracious Sovereign's comparative estimate of Messrs. +Whitehead and Warton, is here happily elucidated, from a circumstance +highly honourable to his Majesty's taste; that, whereas he thought +the former worthy of two places, he has given the latter only the +worst of the two. Mr. Fauquier is made Secretary and Register to the +order of the Bath, in the room of the deceased Laureat. + +Ver. 107. We suspect the whole of this passage in praise of his +Majesty, has been retouched by Mr. Warton, as this line, or something +very like it, occurs in his "Triumphs of Isis," a spirited poem, which +is omitted, we know not why, in his publication of his works. + +Ver. 149. Our readers, we trust, have already admired the several +additions which our poet has made to the ideas of his great original. +He has here given an equal proof of his judgment in a slight omission. +When he converted Amyntas into Lord Uxbridge, with what striking +propriety did he sink upon us the epithet of _stultus_, or _foolish_; +for surely we cannot suppose that to be conveyed above in the term +of _simple_ peer. + +Ver. 156. In the manuscript we find two lines which were struck out; +possibly because our poet supposed they touched on a topic of praise, +not likely ta be very prevalent with Mr. PITT, notwithstanding what +we have lately heard of his "Atlantean shoulders." They are as +follows: + + Yet strong beyond the promise of their years, + Each in one night would drain two grenadiers. + +Ver. 181. The orders of the Board of Controul, relative to the debts +of the Nabob of Arcot, certainly _appear_ diametrically opposite to +Mr. Dundas's Reports, and to an express clause of Mr. Pitt's bill. +Our author, however, like Mr. Pitt and Mr. Dundas, roundly asserts +the consistency of the whole. + +Ver. 189. This unfortunate slip of the Honourable Secretary's +constitutional logic happened in a debate on the Irish Propositions. +Among the many wild chimeras of faction on that memorable occasion, +one objection was, that the produce of the French West-Indian Islands +might be legally smuggled through Ireland into this country. To which +Mr. Rose replied, "That we might repeal all our acts in perfect +security, because the French King had lately issued an arrt which +would prevent this smuggling." + +Ver. 216. We flattered ourselves that this line might have enabled us +to ascertain the precise time when this eclogue was written. We were, +however, disappointed, as on examining the file of Morning Posts +for 1784, we could not find a single week in which Mr. FOX is +absolutely without some attack or other. We suppose therefore +our author here speaks with the allowed latitude of poetry. + + * * * * * + +THE LYARS. + +ARGUMENT. + +This Eclogue is principally an Imitation of the third Bucolic of +Virgil, which, as is observed by Dr. Joseph Warton, the Brother of our +incomparable Laureat, is of that Species called Amoeboea, where the +Characters introduced contend in alternate Verse; the second always +endeavouring to surpass the first Speaker in an equal number of Lines, +As this was in point of Time the first of our Author's Pastoral +Attempts, he has taken rather more Latitude than he afterwards allowed +himself in the rest, and has interspersed one or two occasional +Imitations from other Eclogues of the Roman Poet. + + + In Downing-street, the breakfast duly set, + As BANKS and PRETTYMAN one morn were met, + A strife arising who could best supply, + In urgent cases, a convenient lie; + His skill superior each essay'd to prove 5 + In verse alternate--which the Muses love! + While BILLY, listening to their tuneful plea, + In silence sipp'd his _Commutation_ Tea, + And heard them boast, how loudly both had ly'd: + The Priest began, the Layman thus reply'd! 10 + +PRETTYMAN. + Why wilt thou, BANKS, with me dispute the prize? + Who is not cheated when a Parson lies? + Since pious Christians, ev'ry Sabbath-day, + Must needs believe whate'er the Clergy say! + In spite of all you Laity can do, 15 + One lie from us is more than ten from you! + +BANKS. + O witless lout! in lies that touch the state, + We, Country Gentlemen, have far more weight; + Fiction from us the public still must gull: + They think we're honest, as they know we're dull! 20 + +PRETTYMAN. + In yon Cathedral I a Prebend boast, + The maiden bounty of our gracious host! + Its yearly profits I to thee resign, + If PITT pronounce not that the palm is mine! + +BANKS. + A Borough mine, a pledge far dearer sure, 25 + Which in St Stephen's gives a seat secure! + If PITT to PRETTYMAN the prize decree, + Henceforth CORFE-CASTLE shall belong to thee! + +PITT. + Begin the strain--while in our easy chairs + We loll, forgetful of all public cares! 30 + Begin the strain--nor shall I deem my time + Mispent, in hearing a debate in ryhme! + +PRETTYMAN. + Father of lies! By whom in EDEN's shade + Mankind's first parents were to sin betray'd; + Lo! on this altar, which to thee I raise, 35 + Twelve BIBLES, bound in red Morocco, blaze. + +BANKS. + Blest powers of falsehood, at whose shrine I bend, + Still may success your votary's lies attend! + What prouder victims can your altars boast, + Than honours stain'd, and fame for ever lost? 40 + +PRETTYMAN. + How smooth, persuasive, plausible, and glib, + From holy lips is dropp'd the specious fib! + Which whisper'd slily, in its dark career + Assails with art the unsuspecting ear. + +BANKS. + How clear, convincing, eloquent, and bold, 45 + The bare-fac'd lie, with manly courage told! + Which, spoke in public, falls with greater force, + And heard by hundreds, is believ'd of course. + +PRETTYMAN. + Search through each office for the basest tool + Rear'd in JACK ROBINSONS's abandon'd school; 50 + ROSE, beyond all the sons of dulness, dull, + Whose legs are scarcely thicker than his scull; + Not ROSE, from all restraints of conscience free, + In double-dealing is a match for me. + +BANKS. + Step from St. Stephen's up to Leadenhall, 55 + Where Europe's crimes appear no crimes at all; + Not Major SCOTT, with bright pagodas paid, + That wholesale dealer in the lying trade; + Not he, howe'er important his design, + Can lie with impudence surpassing mine. 60 + +PRETTYMAN. + Sooner the ass in fields of air shall graze, + Or WARTON's Odes with justice claims the bays; + Sooner shall mackrel on the plains disport, + Or MULGRAVE's hearers think his speech too short; + Sooner shall sense escape the prattling lips 65 + Of Captain CHARLES, or COL'NEL HENRY PHIPPS; + Sooner shall CAMPBELL mend his phrase uncouth, + Than Doctor PRETTYMAN shall speak the truth! + +BANKS. + When FOX and SHERIDAN for fools shall pass, + And JEMMY LUTTRELL not be thought an ass; 70 + When all their audience shall enraptur'd sit + With MAWBEY's eloquence, and MARTIN's wit; + When fiery KENYON shall with temper speak, + When modest blushes die DUNDAS's cheek; + Then, only then, in PITT's behalf will I 75 + Refuse to pledge my honour to a lie. + +PRETTYMAN. + While in suspence our Irish project hung, + A well-framed fiction from this fruitful tongue + Bade the vain terrors of the City cease, + And lull'd the Manufacturers to peace: 80 + The tale was told with so demure an air, + Not weary Commerce could escape the snare. + +BANKS. + When Secret Influence expiring lay, + And Whigs triumphant hail'd th' auspicious day, + I bore that faithless message to the House, 85 + By PITT contriv'd the gaping 'squires to chouse; + That deed, I ween, demands superior thanks: + The British Commons were the dupes of BANKS. + +PRETTYMAN. + Say, in what regions are those fathers found, + For deep-dissembling policy renown'd; 90 + Whose subtle precepts for perverting truth, + To quick perfection train'd our patron's youth, + And taught him all the mystery of lies? + Resolve me this, and I resign the prize. + +BANKS. + Say, what that mineral, brought from distant climes, 95 + Which screens delinquents, and absolves their crimes; + Whose dazzling rays confound the space between + A tainted strumpet and a spotless Queen; + Which Asia's Princes give, which Europe's take; + Tell this, dear Doctor, and I yield the stake. 100 + +PITT. + Enough, my friends--break off your tuneful sport, + 'Tis levee day, and I must dress for Court; + Which hath more boldly or expertly lied, + Not mine th' important contest to decide. + Take thou this MITRE, Doctor, which before 105 + A greater hypocrite sure never wore; + And if to services rewards be due, + Dear BANKS, this CORONET belongs to you: + Each from that Government deserves a prize, + Which thrives by shuffling, and subsists by lies. 110 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 6. Amant alterna Camen. + Ver. 10. Hos Corydon, illos referebat in ordine Thyrsis. + Ver. 29. Dicite--quandoquidem in molli consedimus herb + Ver. 61. Ante leves ergo pas entur in there cervi + Et freta destituent nudos in littore pisces-- + Ver. 89. Die quibus in terris, &c. + Ver. 104. Non nostrum inter vos tantas componere lites. + Ver. 105. Et vitul tu dignus et hic. + +NOTES. +Ver. 17. Our poet here seems to deviate from his general rule, by the +introduction of a phrase which appears rather adapted to the lower +and less elevated strain of pastoral, than to the dialogue of persons +of such distinguished rank. It is, however, to be considered, that it +is far from exceeding the bounds of possibility to suppose, that, +in certain instances, the epithet of "Witless," and the coarse +designation of "Lout," may be as applicable to a dignitary of the +church, as to the most ignorant and illiterate rustic. + +Ver. 62. The truth of this line must be felt by all who have read +the lyrical effusions of Mr. Warton's competitors, whose odes were +some time since published, by Sir John Hawkins, Knight. The present +passage must be understood in reference to these, and not to the +Laureat's general talents. + +Ver. 85. The ingenious and sagacious gentleman, who, at the period +of the glorious revolution of 1784, held frequent meetings at +the Saint Alban's Tavern, for the purpose of bringing about an union +that might have prevented the dissolution of parliament; which +meetings afforded time to one of the members of the proposed union to +concert means throughout every part of the kingdom, for ensuring the +success of that salutary and constitutional measure, which, through +his friend Mr. B--ks, he had solemnly pledged himself not to adopt. +How truly does this conduct mark "the statesman born!" + -------- Dolus an virtus, quis in hoste requirit? + +Ver. 98. It must be acknowledged that there is some obscurity in +this passage, as well as in the following line, + + "Which Asia's princes give, which Europe's take:" + +and of this, certain seditious, malevolent, disaffected critics have +taken advantage, and have endeavoured, by a forced construction, +to discover in them an unwarrantable insinuation against the highest +and most sacred characters; from which infamous imputation, however, +we trust, the well-known and acknowledged loyalty of our author's +principles will sufficiently protect him. + + * * * * * + +_MARGARET NICHOLSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +Mr. WILKES and Lord HAWKESBURY alternately congratulate each other +on his Majesty's late happy Escape, The one describes the Joy which +pervades the Country: the other sings the Dangers from which our +Constitution has been preserved. Though in the following Eclogue +our Author has not selected any single one of _Virgil_ for a close and +exact Parody, he seems to have had his Eye principally upon the Vth, +or the _Daphnis_, which contains the Elegy and _APOTHEOSIS_ of _Julius +Csar_. + + + The Session up: the INDIA-BENCH appeas'd, + The LANSDOWNES satisfied, the LOWTHERS pleas'd, + Each job dispatch'd:--the Treasury boys depart, + As various fancy prompts each youthful heart; + PITT, in chaste kisses seeking virtuous joy, 5 + Begs Lady CHATHAM's blessing on her boy; + While MORNINGTON, as vicious as he can, + To fair R--L--N in vain affects the man: + With Lordly BUCKINGHAM retir'd at STOWE, + GRENVILLE, whose plodding brains no respite know, 10 + To prove next year, how our finances thrive, + Schemes new reports, that two and two make five. + To plans of Eastern justice hies DUNDAS; + And comley VILLARS to his votive glass; + To embryo tax bills ROSE; to dalliance STEELE; 15 + And hungry hirelings to their hard-earn'd meal. + A faithful pair, in mutual friendship tied, + Once keen in hate, as now in love allied + (This, o'er admiring mobs in triumph rode, + Libell'd his monarch and blasphem'd his God; 20 + That, the mean drudge of tyranny and BUTE, + At once his practis'd pimp and prostitute), + Adscomb's proud roof receives, whose dark recess + And empty vaults, its owner's mind express, + While block'd-up windows to the world display 25 + How much he loves a tax, how much invites the day. + Here the dire chance that god-like GEORGE befel, + How sick in spirit, yet in health how well; + What Mayors by dozens, at the tale affrighted, + Got drunk, address'd, got laugh'd at, and got knighted; 30 + They read, with mingled horror and surprise, + In London's pure Gazette, that never lies. + Ye Tory bands, who, taught by conscious fears, + Have wisely check'd your tongues, and sav'd your ears,-- + Hear, ere hard fate forbids--what heavenly strains 35 + Flow'd from the lips of these melodious swains. + Alternate was the song; but first began, + With hands uplifted, the regenerate man. + +WILKES. + Bless'd be the beef-fed guard, whose vigorous twist + Wrench'd the rais'd weapon from the murderer's fist, 40 + Him Lords in waiting shall with awe behold + In red tremendous, and hirsute in gold. + On him, great monarch, let thy bounty shine, + What meed can match a life so dear as thine? + Well was that bounty measured, all must own, 45 + That gave him _half_ of what he saved--_a crown_. + Bless'd the dull edge, for treason's views unfit, + Harmless as SYDNEY's rage, or BEARCROFT's wit. + Blush, clumsy patriots, for degenerate zeal, + WILKES had not guided thus the faithless steel! 50 + Round your sad mistress flock, ye maids elect, + Whose charms severe your chastity protect; + Scar'd by whose glance, despairing love descries, + That virtue steals no triumph from your eyes. + Round your bold master flock, ye mitred hive, 55 + With anathems on Whigs his soul revive! + Saints! whom the sight of human blood appals, + Save when to please the Royal will it falls. + He breathes! he lives! the vestal choir advance, + Each takes a bishop, and leads up the dance, 60 + Nor dreads to break her long respected vow, + For chaste--ah strange to tell!--are bishops now: + Saturnian times return!--the age of truth, + And--long foretold--is come the virgin youth. + Now sage professors, for their learning's curse, 65 + Die of their duty in remorseless verse: + Now sentimental Aldermen expire + In prose half flaming with the Muse's fire; + Their's--while rich dainties swim on every plate-- + Their's the glad toil to feast for Britain's fate; 70 + Nor mean the gift the Royal grace affords, + All shall be knights--but those that shall be lords. + Fountain of Honour, that art never dry, + Touch'd with whose drops of grace no thief can die, + Still with new titles soak the delug'd land, 75 + Still may we all be safe from KETCH's menac'd hand! + +JENKINSON. + Oh wond'rous man, with a more wond'rous Muse! + O'er my lank limbs thy strains a sleep diffuse, + Sweet as when PITT with words, disdaining end, + Toils to explain, yet scorns to comprehend. 80 + Ah! whither had we fled, had that foul day + Torn him untimely from our arms away? + What ills had mark'd the age, had that dire thrust + Pierc' his soft heart, and bow'd his bob to dust? + Gods! to my labouring sight what phantoms rise! 85 + Here Juries triumph, and there droops Excise! + Fierce from defeat, and with collected might, + The low-born Commons claim the people's right: + And mad for freedom, vainly deem their own, + Their eye presumptuous dares to scan the throne. 90 + See--in the general wreck that smothers all, + Just ripe for justice--see my HASTINGS fall. + Lo, the dear Major meets a rude repulse, + Though blazing in each hand he bears a BULSE? + Nor Ministers attend, nor Kings relent, 95 + Though rich Nabobs so splendidly repent. + See EDEN's faith expos'd to sale again, + Who takes his plate, and learns his French in vain. + See countless eggs for us obscure the sky, + Each blanket trembles, and each pump is dry. 100 + Far from good things DUNDAS is sent to roam, + Ah!--worse than banish'd--doom'd to live at home. + Hence dire illusions! dismal scenes away-- + Again he cries, "What, what!" and all is gay. + Come, BRUNSWICK, come, great king of loaves and fishes, + Be bounteous still to grant us all our wishes! 106 + Twice every year with BEAUFOY as we dine, + Pour'd to the brim--eternal George--be thine + Two foaming cups of his nectareous juice, + Which--new to gods--no mortal vines produce. 110 + To us shall BRUDENELL sing his choicest airs, + And capering MULGRAVE ape the grace of bears; + A grand thanksgiving pious YORK compose, + In all the proud parade of pulpit prose; + For sure Omniscience will delight to hear, 115 + Thou 'scapest a danger, that was never near. + While ductile PITT thy whisper'd wish obeys, + While dupes believe whate'er the Doctor says, + While panting to be tax'd, the famish'd poor + Grow to their chains, and only beg for more; 120 + While fortunate in ill, thy servants find + No snares too slight to catch the vulgar mind: + Fix'd as the doom, thy power shall still remain, + And thou, wise King, as uncontroul'd shall reign. + +WILKES. + Thanks, _Jenky_, thanks, for ever could'st thou sing, 125 + For ever could I sit and hear thee praise the King. + Then take this book, which with a Patriot's pride, + Once to his sacred warrant I deny'd, + Fond though he was of reading all I wrote: + No gift can better suit thy tuneful throat. 130 + +JENKINSON. + And thou this Scottish pipe, which JAMIE's breath + Inspir'd when living, and bequeath'd in death, + From lips unhallow'd I've prcserv'd it long: + Take the just tribute of thy loyal song. 134 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 59. Ergo alacris sylvas et cetera rura voluptas. + Panaque pastoresque tenet, Dryadasque puellas. + Ver. 61. Nec lupus insidias pecori, &c. + Ver. 63. Jam redit et Virgo, redeunt Saturnia regna. + Ver. 78. Tale tuum carmen nobis, divine Poeta, + Quale sopor sessis in gramine. + Ver. 106. Sis bonus; O! felixque tuis-- + Ver. 107. Pocula bina novo spumantia lacte quot--annis + Craterasque duo statuam tibi. + Ver. 109. Vina _novum_ fundum calathis Arvisia nectar. + Ver. 114. Cantabunt mihi Damtas et Lictius gon. + Saltantes Satyros imitabitur Alphsibus. + Ver. 121. Dum juga montis aper, &c. + Semper honos, nomenque tuum, laudesque manebunt. + Ver. 130. At tu sume pedurn, quod cum me spe rogaret + Non tulit Antigenes, et erat turn dignus amari. + Ver. 134. Est mihi-- + Fistula, Damtas dono mini quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens, "Te nunc, habet ista secundum." + ECL. II. + +NOTES. +Ver. 46. _half--a crown!_--Literally so. + +Ver. 63, 64. It is rearkable that these are the only lines which +our Poet has imitated from the IVth Eclogue (or the Pollio) of Virgil. +Perhaps the direct and obvious application of that whole Eclogue +appeared to our author to be an undertaking too easy for the exercise +of his superior talents; or perhaps he felt himself too well +anticipated by a similar imitation of Pope's Messiah, which was +inserted some time since in one of the public papers. If the author +will favour us with a corrected copy, adapted rather to the Pollio +than the Messiah, we shall be happy to give it a place in our +subsequent editions, of which we doubt not the good taste of the town +will demand as many as of the rest of our celebrated bard's +immortal compositions. + +Ver. 119. The public alarm expressed upon the event which is the +subject of this Pastoral, was certainly a very proper token of +affection to a Monarch, every action of whose reign denotes him +to be the father of his people. Whether it has sufficiently subsided +to admit of a calm enquiry into facts, is a matter of some doubt, +as the addresses were not finished in some late Gazettes. If ever +that time should arrive, the world will be very well pleased to hear +that the miserable woman whom the Privy Council have judiciously +confined in Bedlam for her life, never even aimed a blow at his +August Person. + +Ver. 127. _This Book_, &c. Essay on Woman. + +Ver. 130. _No gift can better suit thy----throat._ The ungrateful +people of England, we have too much reason to fear, may be of +a different opinion. + + * * * * * + +_CHARLES JENKINSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +The following is a very close Translation of _VIRGIL's SILENUS_; +so close indeed that many Readers may be surprised at such a Deviation +from our Authur's usual Mode of imitating the Ancients. But we are +to consider that _VIRGIL_ is revered by his Countrymen, not only +as a Poet, but likewise as a Prophet and Magician; and our +incomparable Translator, who was not ignorant of this Circumstance, +was convinced, that _VIRGIL_ in his _SILENUS_ had really and _bon +fide_ meant to allude to the Wonders of the present Reign, and +consequently that it became his Duty to adhere most strictly to his +Original, and to convey the true Meaning of this hitherto inexplicable +Eclogue. + + + Mine was the Muse, that from a Norman scroll + First rais'd to Fame the barbarous worth of ROLLE, + And dar'd on DEVON's hero to dispense + The gifts of Language, Poetry, and Sense. + In proud Pindarics next my skill I try'd, 5 + But SALISB'RY wav'd his wand and check'd my pride: + "Write English, friend (he cry'd), be plain and flatter, + Nor thus confound your compliment and satire. + Even I, a critic by the King's command, + Find these here odes damn'd hard to understand." 10 + Now then, O deathless theme of WARTON's Muse, + Oh great in War! oh glorious at Reviews! + While many a rival anxious for the bays; + Pursues thy virtues with relentless praise; + While at thy levee smiling crowds appear, 15 + Blest that thy birth-day happens once a year: + Like good SIR CECIL, I to woods retire, + And write plain eclogues o'er my parlour fire. + Yet still for thee my loyal verse shall flow, + Still, shou'd it please, to thee its charms shall owe; 20 + And well I ween, to each succeeding age, + Thy name shall guard and consecrate my page. + Begin, my Muse!--As WILBERFORCE and BANKS + Late in the Lobby play'd their usual pranks, + Within a water-closet's niche immur'd 25 + (Oh that the treacherous door was unsecur'd), + His wig awry, his papers on the ground, + Drunk, and asleep, CHARLES JENKINSON they found. + Transported at the sight (for oft of late + At PITT's assembled on affairs of state, 30 + They both had press'd him, but could ne'er prevail, + To sing a merry song or tell a tale) + In rush'd th' advent'rous youths:--they seize, they bind, + Make fast his legs, and tie his hands behind, + Then scream for help; and instant to their aid 35 + POMONA flies, POMONA, lovely maid; + Or maid, or goddess, sent us from above, + To bless young Senators with fruit and love. + Then thus the sage--"Why these unseemly bands? + "Untie my legs, dear boys, and loose my hands; 40 + The promis'd tale be yours: a tale to you; + To fair POMONA different gifts are due." + Now all things haste to hear the master talk: + Here Fawns and Satyrs from the Bird-cage-walk, + Here Centaur KENYON, and the Sylvan sage, 45 + Whom BOWOOD guards to rule a purer age, + Here T------W, B------T, H------N appear, + With many a minor savage in their rear, + Panting for treasons, riots, gibbets, blocks, + To strangle NORTH, to scalp and eat CHARLES FOX. 50 + There H------'s sober band in silence wait, + Inur'd to sleep, and patient of debate; + Firm in their ranks, each rooted to his chair + They sit, and wave their wooden heads in air. + Less mute the rocks while tuneful Phoebus sung, 55 + Less sage the critic brutes round Orpheus hung; + For true and pleasant were the tales he told, + His theme great GEORGE's age, the age of gold. + Ere GEORGE appear'd a Briton bora and bred, + One general Chaos all the land o'erspread 60 + There lurking seeds of adverse factions lay, + Which warm'd and nurtur'd by his dawning ray, + Sprang into life. Then first began to thrive + The tender shoots of young Prerogative; + Then spread luxuriant, when unclouded shone 65 + The full meridian splendour of the throne. + Yet was the Court a solitary waste; + Twelve lords alone the Royal chamber grac'd! + When BUTE, the good DEUCALION of the reign, + To gracious BRUNSWICK pray'd, nor pray'd in vain. 70 + For straight (oh goodness of the royal mind!) + Eight blocks, to dust and rubbish long confin'd, + Now wak'd by mandate from their trance of years, + Grew living creatures--just like other Peers. + Nor here his kindness ends--From wild debate 75 + And factious rage he guards his infant state. + Resolv'd alone his empire's toils to bear, + "Be all men dull!" he cry'd, and dull they were. + Then sense was treason:--then with bloody claw + Exulting soar'd the vultures of the law: 80 + Then ruffians robb'd by ministerial writ, + And GRENVILLE plunder'd reams of useless wit, + While mobs got drunk 'till learning should revive, + And loudly bawl'd for WILKES and forty-five. + Next to WILL PITT he past, so sage, so young, 85 + So cas'd with wisdom, and so arm'd with tongue + His breast with every royal virtue full, + Yet, strange to tell, the minion of JOHN BULL. + Prepost'rous passion! say, what fiend possest, + Misguided youth, what phrenzy fir'd thy breast? 90 + 'Tis true, in senates, many a hopeful lad + Has rav'd in metaphor, and run stark mad; + His friend, the heir-apparent of MONTROSE, + Feels for his beak, and starts to find a nose; + Yet at these times preserve the little share 95 + Of sense and thought intrusted to their care; + While thou with ceaseless folly, endless labour, + Now coaxing JOHN, now flirting with his neighbour, + Hast seen thy lover from his bonds set free, + Damning the shop-tax, and himself, and thee. 100 + Now good MACPHERSON, whose prolific muse + Begets false tongues, false heroes, and false news, + Now frame new lies, now scrutinize thy brain, + And bring th' inconstant to these arms again! + Next of the Yankeys' fraud the master told, 105 + And GRENVILLE's fondness for Hesperian gold; + And GRENVILLE's friends, conspicuous from afar, + In mossy down incas'd, and bitter tar. + SIR CECIL next adorn'd the pompous song, + Led by his CLIA through th' admiring throng, 110 + All CLIA's sisters hail'd the prince of bards, + Reforming sailors bow'd, and patriot guards: + While thus SIR JOSEPH (his stupendious head + Crown'd with green-groc'ry, and with flow'rs o'erspread) + From the high hustings spoke--"This pipe be thine, 115 + This pipe, the fav'rite present of the Nine, + On which WILL WHITEHEAD play'd those powerful airs, + Which to ST. JAMES's drew reluctant May'rs, + And forc'd stiff-jointed Aldermen to bend; + Sing thou on this thy SAL'SBURY, sing thy friend; 120 + Long may he live in thy protecting strains, + And HATFIELD vie with TEMPE's fabled plains!" + Why should I tell th' election's horrid tale, + That scene of libels, riots, blood, and ale? + There of SAM HOUSE the horrid form appeared; 125 + Round his white apron howling monsters reared + Their angry clubs; mid broken heads they polled; + And HOOD's best sailors in the kennel rolled; + Ah! why MAHON's disastrous fate record? + Alas! how fear can change the fiercest lord! 130 + See the sad sequel of the grocers' treat-- + Behold him darting up St. James's-street, + Pelted, and scar'd by BROOKE's hellish sprites, + And vainly fluttering round the door of WHITE's! + All this, and more he told, and every word 135 + With silent awe th' attentive striplings heard, + When, bursting on their ear, stern PEARSON's note + Proclaim'd the question put, and called them forth to vote. + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 1. Prima Syracosio dignita est ludere versu, + Nostra nee erubuit sylvas habitare Thalia. + Cum canerem regis et prlia, Cynthius aurem + Vellit, et admonuit, &c. &c. + Ver. 11. Nunc ego (namque super tibi, erunt, qui dicere laudes + Vare, tuus cupiant, et tristia condere bella) + Sylvestrem tenui meditabor arundine musam. + Ver. 18. ---------Si quis tamen hc quoque, siquis + Captus amore leget, te nostr, Vare, myric + Te nemus omne canet, &c. + Ver. 23. ---------Chromis et Mnasylus in autro + Silenum pueri somno videre jacentem. + Ver. 29. Aggressi, nam spe senex spe carminis ambo + Luserat, injiciunt ex ipsis vincula sertis. + Ver. 35. Addit se sociam timidisque supervenit gle, + gle Naiadum pulcherrima. + Ver. 39. ----------Quid vincula nectitis? inquit, + Solvite me pueri---- + Carmina qu vultis cognoscite, carmina vobis; + Huic aliud mercedis erit. + Ver. 43. Tum vero in numerurn faunosque ferasque videres, + Ludere, tum rigidas motare cacumina quercus. + Ver. 55. Nec tantum Phoebo gaudet Parnassia rupes, + Nec tantum Rhodope miratur et Ismarus Orphea. + Ver. 57. Namque canebat, uti magnum per inane coacta, + Semina terrarumque animque marisque fuissent, + Et liquidi simul ignis: Ut his exordia primis + Omnia, et ipse tener mundi concreverit orbis. + Ver. 62. Incipiant sylv cum primum surgere------ + Jamque novum ut terr stupeant lucescere solem. + Ver. 68. --------------------------Cumque + Rara per ignotos errant animalia montes. + Ver. 69. Hinc lapides Pyrrh jactos---------- + Ver. 78. ------------Saturnia regna. + Ver. 81. Caucaseasque refert volucres: + Ver. 82. ------------Furtumque Promethei. + Ver. 84 ------------Hylan naut quo fonte relictum, + Clamassent ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret. + Ver. 88. Pasaphaen nivei solatur amore juvenci. + Ver. 89. Ah virgo infelix qu te dementia cepit? + Ver. 93. Prtides implerunt falsis mugitibus agros. + Ver. 96. Et spe in lvi qusissent cornua fronte, + At non, &c. + Ver. 99. Ille latus niveum, &c. + Ver. 101. ------Claudite nymph + Dict nymph, nemorum jam claudite saltus, + Si qu forte ferant oculis sese obvia nostris, + Errabunda bovis vestigia. + Ver. 106. Tum canit Hesperidurn miratam mala puellant. + Ver. 108. Tum Phaetontiadas musco circumdat amar + Corticis, atque solo proceras erigit. + Ver. 109. Tum canit errantem------Gallum, + Aonas in montes ut duxerit una sororum, + Utque viro Phoebi chorus assurrexerit omnis; + Ut Linus hc illi divino carmine pastor + Floribus, atque apio crines ornatus amaro, + Dixerit; hos tibi dant calamos, en accipe, mus, + Ascro quos ante seni, quibus ille solebat + Cantando rigidas deducere montibus ornos, &c. &c. &c. + Ver. 127. Quid loquar--Scyllum quam fama secuta est + Candida succinctam latrantibus inguina monstris + ------------------------gurgite in alto + Ah timidos nautas canibus lacerasse marinis. + Ver. 132. Aut ut mutatos Terei norraverit artus: + Quas illi Philomela dapes; qu dona paravit, + Quo cors deserta petiverit, & quibus ante + Infelix sua tecta supervolit erit alis. + + +NOTES. +Ver. 42. _To fair Pomana_, &c.] We are sorry to inform our readers, +that the promise which Mr. Jenkinson here intimates in favour of +the lady was, we fear, but the promise of a courtier. Truth obliges us +to declare, that having taken some pains to enquire into the facts, +we were assured by the lady herself, that she never received any +other gift, present, or compliment what-ever from Mr. Jenkinson. + +Ver. 68. Our Poet, for so careful a student of the Court Calendar, +as he must certainly be, is a little inaccurate here. The Lords of +the Bed-chamber were in truth thirteen, and seven only were added. +The numbers in the text were probably preserved as more euphonius. + +Ver. 101. _Good Macpherson_, &c.] This Ingenious gentleman, who first +signalized himself by a bombast translation of poems which never +existed, is now said occasionally to indulge his native genius for +fiction in paragraphs of poetical prose for some of our daily papers. + +Ver. 106. _Hesperian gold_.] The American revenue, which the late +Mr. Grenville was to have raised by his celebrated Stamp Act. Mr. +Jankinson, who was himself the author of that act, here delicately +touches an the true origin of the American war; a measure in which, +however unseccussful, we doubt not, he will ever be ready to glory. + +Ver. 110. SIR. CECIL's poems to Clia are well known; and we are +persuaded will live to preserve the fame of his talents, when his +admirable letter to the Scottish reformers, and his pamphlet on the +Westminster Election, shall be forgotten. + + * * * * * + +JEKYLL. + + ----------------------------miserabile Carmen + Integrat, & mstis lat loca questibus implet.--VIRGIL. + + + Jekyll, the wag of law, the scribblers pride, + Calne to the senate sent--when TOWNSHEND died. + So LANSDOWNE will'd:--the old hoarse rook at rest, + A jackdaw phoenix chatters from his nest. + Statesman and lawyer now, with clashing cares, 5 + Th' important youth roams thro' the Temple squares; + Yet stays his step, where, with congenial play, + The well-known fountain babbles day by day: + The little fountain:--whose restricted course, + In low faint Essays owns its shallow sourse. 10 + There, to the tinkling jet he tun'd his tongue, + While LANSDOWNE's fame, and LANSDOWNE's fall, he sung. + "Where were our friends, when the remorseless crew + Of felon whigs--great LANSDOWNE's pow'r o'erthrew? + For neither then, within St. Stephen's wall 15 + Obedient WESTCOTE hail'd the Treasury-call; + Nor treachery then had branded EDEN's fame, + Or taught mankind the miscreant MINCHIN's name, + Joyful no more (tho' TOMMY spoke so long) + Was high-born HOWARD's cry, or POWNEY's prattling tongue. 20 + Vain was thy roar, MAHON!--tho' loud and deep; + Not our own GILBERT could be rous'd from sleep. + No bargain yet the tribe of PHIPPS had made: + LANSDOWNE! you sought in vain ev'n MULGRAVE's aid; + MULGRAVE--at whose harsh scream in wild surprise, 25 + The _speechless_ Speaker lifts his drowsy eyes. + Ah! hapless day! still as thy hours return, + Let Jesuits, Jews, and sad Dissenters mourn! + Each quack and sympathizing juggler groan, + While bankrupt brokers echo moan for moan. 30 + Oh! much-lov'd peer!--my patron!--model!--friend! + How does thy alter'd state my bosom rend. + Alas! the ways of courts are strange and dark! + PITT scarce would make thee now-a Treasury-clerk!" + Stung with the maddening thought, his griefs, his fears 35 + Dissolve the plaintiff councellor in tears. + "How oft," he cries, "has wretched LANSDOWNE said; + _Curs'd be the toilsome hours by statesmen led! + Oh! had kind heaven ordain'd my humbler fate + A country gentleman's--of small estate-- 40 + With_ Price _and_ Priestly _in some distant grove, + Blest I had led the lowly life I love. + Thou_, Price, _had deign'd to calculate my flocks! + Thou_, Priestley! _sav'd them from the lightning shocks! + Unknown the storms and tempests of the state---- 45 + Unfelt the mean ambition to be great; + In_ Bowood's _shade had passed my peaceful days, + Far from the town and its delusive ways; + The crystal brook my beverage--and my food + Hips, carnels, haws, and berries of the wood_." 50 + "Blest peer! eternal wreaths adorn thy brow! + Thou CINCINNATU's of the British plough! + But rouse again thy talents and thy zeal! + Thy Sovereign, sure, must wish thee _Privy-seal_. + Or, what if from the seals thou art debarr'd? 55 + CHANDOS, at least, he might for thee discard. + Come, LANSDOWNE! come--thy life no more thy own, + Oh! brave again the smoke and noise of town: + For Britain's sake, the weight of greatness bear, + And suffer honours thou art doom'd to wear." 60 + To _thee_ her Princes, lo! where India sends! + All BENFIELD's here--and there all HASTINGS' friends; + MACPHERSON--WRAXALL--SULLIVAN--behold! + CALL--BARWELL--MIDDLETON--with heaps of gold! + Rajahs--Nabobs--from Oude--Tanjore--Arcot-- 65 + And see!--(nor oh! disdain him!)--MAJOR SCOTT. + Ah! give the Major but one gracious nod: + Ev'n PITT himself once deign'd to court the squad. + "Oh! be it _theirs_, with more than patriot heat, + To snatch their virtues from their lov'd retreat: 70 + Drag thee reluctant to the haunts of men, + And make the minister--Oh! God!--but when!" + Thus mourn'd the youth--'till, sunk in pensive grief, + He woo'd his handkerchief for soft relief. + In either pocket either hand he threw; 75 + When, lo!--from each, a precious tablet flew. + This--his sage patron's wond'rous speech on trade: + This--his own book of sarcasms ready made. + Tremendous book!--thou motley magazine + Of stale severities, and pilfer'd spleen! 80 + O! rich in ill!--within thy leaves entwin'd, + What glittering adders lurk to sting the mind. + Satire's _Museum_!--with SIR ASHTON's lore, + The naturalist of malice eyes thy store: + Ranging, with fell Virt, his poisonous tribes 85 + Of embryo sneers, and anamalcule gibes. + Here insect puns their feeble wings expand + To speed, in little flights, their lord's command: + There, in their paper chrysalis, he sees + Specks of bon mots, and eggs of repartees. 90 + In modern spirits ancient wit he steeps; + If not its gloss, the reptile's venom keeps: + Thy quaintness' DUNNING! but without thy sense: + And just enough of B------t, for offence. + On these lov'd leaves a transient glance he threw: 95 + But weighter themes his anxious thoughts pursue. + Deep senatorial pomp intent to reach, + With ardent eyes he hangs o'er LANSDOWNE's speech. + Then, loud the youth proclaims the enchanting words + That charm'd the "noble natures" of the lords, 100 + "_Lost and obscured in_ Bowood'_s humble bow'r, + No party tool--no candidate for pow'r-- + I come, my lords! an hermit from my cell, + A few blunt truths in my plain style to tell. + Highly I praise your late commercial plan; 105 + Kingdoms should all unite--like man and man. + The_ French _love peace--ambition they detest; + But_ Cherburg'_s frightful works deny me rest. + With joy I see new wealth for Britain shipp'd_, + Lisbon's a froward child and should be whipp'd. 110 + _Yet_ Portugal'_s our old and best ally, + And _Gallic_ faith is but a slender tie, + My lords! the_ manufacturer'_s a fool; + The_ clothier, _too, knows nothing about wool; + Their interests still demand syr constant care_; 115 + Their _griefs are_ mine--their _fears are_ my _despair. + My lords! my soul is big with dire alarms_; + Turks, Germans, Russians, Prussians, _all in arms! + A noble_ Pole _(I'm proud to call him friend!) + Tells me of things I cannot comprehend. 120 + Your lordship's hairs would stand on end to hear + My last dispatches from the_ Grand Vizier. + _The fears of_ Dantzick-merchants _can't be told; + Accounts from_ Cracow _make my blood run cold. + The state of_ Portsmouth_, and of_ Plymouth Docks, 125 + _Your Trade--your Taxes--Army--Navy--Stocks-- + All haunt me in my dreams; and, when I rise, + The bank of England scares my open eyes. + I see--I know some dreadful storm is brewing; + Arm all your coasts_--your navy is your ruin. 130 + _I say it still; but (let me be believed) + In_ this _your lordships have been much deceiv'd. + A_ noble Duke _affirms, I like his plan: + I never did, my lords!--I never can-- + Shame on the slanderous breath! which dares instill 135 + That I, who now condemn, advis'd the ill_. + Plain words, _thank Heav'n! are always understood: + I_ could _approve, I said--but not I_ wou'd. + _Anxious to make the_ noble Duke _content, } + My view was just to seem to give consent, 140 } + While all the world might see that nothing less was meant._" } + While JEKYLL thus, the rich exhaustless store + Of LANSDOWNE's rhetoric ponders o'er and o'er; + And, wrapt in happier dreams of future days, + His patron's triumphs in his own surveys; 145 + Admiring barristers in crouds resort + From Figtree--Brick--Hare--Pump--and Garden court. + Anxious they gaze--and watch with silent awe + The motley son of politics and law. + Meanwhile, with softest smiles and courteous bows, 150 + He, graceful bending, greets their ardent vows. + "Thanks, generous friends," he cries, "kind Templers, thanks! + Tho' now, with LANSDOWNE's band your JEKYLL ranks, + Think not, he wholly quits _black-letter_ cares; + Still--still the _lawyer_ with the _statesman_ shares." 155 + But, see! the shades of night o'erspread the skies! + Thick fogs and vapours from the Thames arise. + Far different hopes our separate toils inspire: + To _parchment_ you, and _precedent_ retire. + With deeper bronze your darkest looks imbrown, 160 + Adjust your brows for the _demurring_ frown: + Brood o'er the fierce _rebutters_ of the bar, + And brave the _issue_ of the gowned war. + Me, all unpractis'd in the bashful mood, + Strange, novice thoughts, and alien cares delude. 165 + Yes, _modest_ Eloquence! ev'n _I_ must court + For once, with mimic vows, thy coy support; + Oh! would'st thou lend the semblance of my charms! + Feign'd agitations, and assum'd alarms! + 'Twere all I'd ask:--but for one day alone 170 + To ape thy downcast look--my suppliant tone: + To pause--and bow with hesitating grace-- + Here try to faulter--there a word misplace: + Long-banish'd blushes this pale cheek to teach, + And act the miseries of a _maiden speech_. 175 + + + + +PROBATIONARY +ODES +FOR +_THE LAUREATSHIP:_ +WITH +A PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +SIR JOHN HAWKINS, KNT. + + + + +PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +THE EDITOR. + +Having, in the year seventeen hundred and seventy-six, put forth +A HISTORY OF MUSIC, in five volumes quarto (which buy), +notwithstanding my then avocations as Justice of the Peace for the +county of Middlesex and city and liberty of Westminster; I, Sir John +Hawkins, of Queen-square, Westminster, Knight, do now, being still of +sound health and understanding, esteem it my bounden duty to +step forward as Editor and Revisor of THE PROBATIONARY ODES. +My grand reason for undertaking so arduous a task is this: I do +from my soul believe that Lyric Poetry is the own, if not twin sister +of Music; wherefore, as I had before gathered together every thing +that any way relates to the one, with what consistency could I forbear +to collate the best effusions of the other?--I should premise, +that in volume the first of my quarto history, chap. i. page 7, +I lay it down as a principle never to be departed from, that, "_The +Lyre is the prototype of the fidicinal species_." And accordingly +I have therein discussed at large, both the origin, and various +improvements of the Lyre, from the Tortoise-shell scooped and strung +by Mercury on the banks of the Nile, to the Testudo, exquisitely +polished by Terpander, and exhibited to the gyptian Priests. +I have added also many choice engravings of the various antique Lyres, +viz. the Lyre of Goats-horns, the Lyre of Bullshorns, the Lyre +of Shells, and the Lyre of both Shells and Horns compounded; +from all which, I flatter myself, I have indubitably proved the Lyre +to be very far superior to the shank bone of a crane, or any other +Pike, Fistula, or Calamus, either of Orpheus's or Linus's invention; +ay, or even the best of those pulsatile instruments, commonly known by +the denomination of the drum. + +Forasmuch, therefore, as all this was finally proved and established +by my History of Music, I say, I hold it now no alien task to somewhat +turn my thoughts to the late divines specimens of Lyric Minstrelsy. +For although I may be deemed the legal guardian of MUSIC alone, +and consequently not in strictness bound to any farther duty than +that of her immediate Wardship (see Burn's Justice, article Guardian), +yet surely, in equity and liberal feeling, I cannot but think myself +very forcibly incited to extend this tutelage to her next of kin; +in which degree I hold every individual follower of THE LYRIC MUSE, +but more especially all such part of them, as have devoted, or do +devote their strains to the celebration of those best of themes, +the reigning King and the current year; or in other words, of all +Citharist Regis, Versificators Coron, Court Poets, or as we now +term them, Poets Laureats.--Pausanias tells us, that it pleased +the God of Poets himself, by an express oracle, to order the +inhabitants of Delphi to set apart for Pindar one half of the first +fruit offerings brought by the religious to his shrine, and to allow +him a place in his temple, where, in an iron chair, he was used +to sit and sing his hymns in honour of that God. Would to heaven +that the Bench of Bishops would, in some degree, adopt this +excellent idea!--or at least that the Dean and Chapter of Westminster, +and the other Managers of the Abbey Music Meetings, would in future +allot the occasional vacancies of Madame Mara's seat in the Cathedral +Orchestra, for the reception of the reigning Laureat, during +the performance of that favourite constitutional ballad, "May the King +live for ever!" It must be owned, however, that the Laureatship is +already a very kingly settlement; one hundred a year, together with +a tierce of Canary, or a butt of sack, are surely most princely +endowments, for the honour of literature and the advancement of +poetical genius. And hence (thank God and the King for it!) there +scarcely ever has been wanting some great and good man both willing +and able to supply so important a charge.--At one time we find that +great immortal genius, Mr. Thomas Shadwell (better known by the +names of Og and Mac Flecknoe), chanting the prerogative praises +of that blessed ra.--At a nearer period, we observe the whole force +of Colley Cibber's genius devoted to the labours of the same +reputable employment.--And finally, in the example of a Whitehead's +Muse, expatiating on the virtues of our gracious Sovereign, have we +not beheld the best of Poets, in the best of Verses, doing ample +justice to the best of Kings!--The fire of Lyric Poesy, the rapid +lightening of modern Pindarics, were equally required to record the +Virtues of the Stuarts, or to immortalize the Talents of a +Brunswick.--On either theme there was ample subject for the boldest +flights of inventive genius, the full scope for the most daring powers +of poetical creation; from the free, unfettered strain of liberty +in honour of Charles the First, to the kindred Genius and congenial +Talents that immortalize the Wisdom and the Worth of George the +Third.--But on no occasion has the ardour for prerogative panegyrics so +conspicuously flamed forth, as on the late election for succeeding +to Mr. Whitehead's honours. To account for this unparalleled struggle, +let us recollect, that the ridiculous reforms of the late Parliament +having cut off many gentlemanly offices, it was a necessary +consequence that the few which were spared, became objects of rather +more emulation than usual. Besides, there is a decency and regularity +in producing at fixed and certain periods of the year, the same +settled quantity of metre on the same unalterable subjects, which +cannot fail to give a particular attraction to the Office of the +Laureatship, at a crisis like the present.--It is admitted, that we +are now in possession of much sounder judgment, and more regulated +taste, than our ancestors had any idea of; and hence, does it not +immediately follow, that the occupancy of a poetical office, which, +from its uniformity of subject and limitation of duty, precludes all +hasty extravagance of style, as well as any plurality of efforts, +is sure to be a more pleasing object than ever to gentlemen of +regular habits and a becoming degree of literary indolence? Is it not +evident too, that in compositions of this kind, all fermentation of +thought is certain in a very short time to subside and settle into +mild and gentle composition--till at length the possessors of this +grave and orderly office prepare their stipulated return of metre, +by as proportionate and gradual exertions, as many other classes of +industrious tenants provide for the due payment of their particular +rents? Surely it is not too much to say, that the business of Laureat +to his Majesty is, under such provision, to the full as ingenious, +reputable, and regular a trade, as that of Almanack Maker to the +Stationer's Company. The contest therefore for so excellent an office, +having been warmer in the late instance than at any preceding period, +is perfectly to be accounted for; especially too at a time, when, +from nobler causes, the Soul of Genius may reasonably be supposed +to kindle into uncommon enthusiasm, at a train of new and unexampled +prodigies. In an age of Reform; beneath the mild sway of a British +Augustus; under the Ministry of a pure immaculate youth; the Temple +of Janus shut; the Trade of Otaheite open; not an angry American to +be heard of, except the Lottery Loyalists; the fine Arts in full +Glory; Sir William Chambers the Royal Architect; Lord Sydney a Cabinet +Minister!--What a golden ra!--From this auspicious moment, Peers, +Bishops, Baronets, Methodists, Members of Parliament, Chaplains, +all genuine Beaux Esprits, all legitimate heirs of Parnassus, +rush forward, with unfeigned ardour, to delight the world by the +united efforts of liberal genius and constitutional loyalty.--The +illustrious candidates assemble--the wisest of Earls sits as Judge--the +archest of Buffos becomes his assessor--the Odes are read--the election +is determined--how justly is not for us to decide. To the great +Tribunal of the public the whole of this important contest is now +submitted.--Every document that can illustrate, every testimony that +tends to support the respective merits of the Probationers, is +impartially communicated to the world of letters.--Even the Editor of +such a collection may hope for some reversionary fame from the humble, +but not inglorious task, of collecting the scattered rays of +Genius.--At the eve of a long laborious life, devoted to a sister Muse +(vide my History, printed for T. Payne and Son, at the Mews-Gate), +possibly it may not wholly appear an irregular vanity, if I sometimes +have entertained a hope, that my tomb may not want the sympathetic +record of Poetry--I avow my motive.-- + +It is with this expectation I appear as an Editor on the present +occasion.--The Authors whose compositions I collect for public notice +are twenty-three. The odds of survivorship, according to Doctor Price +are, that thirteen of these will outlive me, myself being in class +III. of his ingenious tables.--Surely, therefore, it is no mark of +that sanguine disposition which my enemies have been pleased to +ascribe to me, if I deem it possible that some one of the same +thirteen will requite my protection of their harmonious effusions with +a strain of elegiac gratitude, saying, possibly (pardon me, ye +Survivors that may be, for presuming to hint the thought to minds so +richly fraught as yours are) saying, I say, + + Here lies Sir John Hawkins, + Without his shoes or stockings![1] + +[1] Said Survivors are not bound to said Rhime, if not agreeable. + + + + +[The Following excellent observations on the LYRIC STYLE, have been +kindly communicated to the EDITOR by the REV. THOMAS WARTON.--They +appear to have been taken almost verbatim from several of the former +works of that ingenious author; but chiefly from his late edition +of _Milten's Minora_. We sincerely hope, therefore, that they may +serve the double purpose of enriching the present collection, and of +attracting the public attention to that very critical work from which +they are principally extracted.] + + +THOUGHTS ON ODE WRITING. + + +{ODE Molpe} Carmen, Cantus, Cantilena, Chanson, Canzone, all +signify what, Anglic, we denominate ODE--Among the Greeks, Pindar; +among the Latins, Horace; with the Italians, Petrarch; with the +French, Boileau; are the principes hujusce scienti--Tom Killegrew +took the lead in English Lyrics; and, indeed, till our own Mason, was +nearly unrivalled--Josephus Miller too hath penned something of +the Odaic, _inter_ his _Opera Minora_. My grandfather had a M.S. Ode +on a Gilliflower, the which, as our family had it, was an _esquisse_ +of Gammer Gurton's; and I myself have seen various Cantilenes of +Stephen Duck's of a pure relish--Of Shadwell, time hath little +impaired the fame--Colley's Bays rust cankereth not--Dr. Casaubon +measures the Strophe by Anapsts--In the Polyglott, the epitrotus +primus is the metrimensura.--I venture to recommend "Waly, waly, +up the Bank," as no bad model of the pure Trochaic--There is also a +little simple strain, commencing "Saw ye my father, saw ye my mother;" +which to my fancy, gives an excellent ratio of hendecasyllables.--Dr. +Warton indeed prefers the Adonic, as incomparably the neatest, ay, and +the newest {molpes metrhon}----A notion too has prevailed, that the +Black Joke, or {Melamphyllai Daphnai} is not the "Cosa deta in prosa +mai, ne in rima;" whereas the _Deva Cestrensis_, or Chevy Chase, +according to Dr. Joseph Warton, is the exemplar of + + Trip and go, + Heave and hoe, + Up and down, + To and fro. + +Vide Nashe's Summer's Last Will and Testament, 1600. + +I observe that Ravishment is a favourite word with Milton, Paradise +Lost, B. V. 46. Again, B. IX. 541. Again, Com. V. 245.--Spenser has +it also in Astrophel. st. 7.--Whereof I earnestly recommend early +rising to all minor Poets, as far better than sleeping to concoct +surfeits. Vid. Apology for Smectymnuus.--For the listening to +Throstles or Thrushes, awaking the _lustless_ Sun, is an unreproved +or innocent pastime: As also are _cranks_, by which I understood +cross purposes. Vid. my Milton, 41.--"_Filling a wife with a daughter +fair_," is not an unclassical notion (vid. my Milton, 39), if, +according to Sir Richard Brathwaite, "She had a dimpled chin, +made for love to lodge within" (vid. my Milton, 41). "While the +_cock_," vid. the same, 44.--Indeed, "My mother said I could be no +_lad_, till I was twentye," is a passage I notice in my Milton with a +view to this; which see; and therein also of a shepherdess, "_taking +the tale_."--'Twere well likewise if Bards learned the Rebeck, +or Rebible, being a species of Fiddle; for it solaceth the fatigued +spirit much; though to say the truth, we have it; 'tis present death +for Fiddlers to tune their Rebecks, or Rebibles, before the great +Turk's grace. However, _Middteton's Game of Chess_ is good for a Poet +to peruse, having quaint phrases fitting _to be married to immortal +verse_. JOSHUA POOLE, of Clare-hall, I also recommend as an apt guide +for an alumnus of the Muse.--Joshua edited a choice Parnassus, 1657, +in the which I find many "delicious, mellow hangings" of poesy.--He +is undoubtedly a "sonorous dactylist"--and to him I add Mr. Jenner, +Proctor of the Commons, and Commissary of St. Paul's, who is a +gentleman of indefatigable politeness in opening the Archives of a +Chapter-house for the delectation of a sound critic. _Tottell's Songs +and Sonnets of uncertain Auctoures_ is likewise a _butful_, or +plenteous work. I conclude with assuring the Public, that my brother +remembers to have heard my father tell his (i.e. my brother's) first +wife's second cousin, that he, once, at Magdalen College, Oxford, had +it explained to him, that the famous passage "His reasons are as two +grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff," has no sort of reference +to verbal criticism and stale quotations. + + + + +RECOMMENDATORY +TESTIMONIES. + +[According to the old and laudable usage of Editors, we shall now +present our Readers with the judgments of the learned concerning +our Poets.--These Testimonies, if they proceed from critical pens, +cannot fail to have due influence on all impartial observers. +They _pass_ an author from one end of the kingdom to the other, +as rapidly as the pauper Certificates of Magistracy.--Indeed, +it were much to be wished, that as we have no State Licenser of +Poetry, it might at least be made penal, to put forth rhymes without +previously producing a certain number of sureties for their goodness +and utility; which precaution, if assisted with a few other +regulations, such as requiring all Practitioners in Verse to take +out a License, in the manner of many other Dealers in Spirits, &c. +could not fail to introduce good order among this class of authors, +and also to bring in a handsome sum towards the aid of the public +revenue.--Happy indeed will be those Bards, who are supplied with +as reputable vouchers as those which are here subjoined.] + + +_Testimonies of Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY'_s good Parts for Poetry_. + + +MISS HANNAH MORE. + +"Sir JOSEPH, with the gentlest sympathy, begged me to contrive +that he should meet _Lactilla_, in her morning walk, towards the +Hot-Wells. I took the proper measures for this _tte--tte_ between +my two _naturals_, as I call this uneducated couple.--It succeeded +beyond my utmost hopes.--For the first ten minutes they exchanged +a world of simple observations on the different species of the brute +creation, to which each had most obligations.--Lactilla praised +her Cows--Sir Joseph his Hogs.--An artless eclogue, my dear madam, +but warm from the heart.--At last the Muse took her turn on the +_tapis_ of simple dialogue.--In an instant both kindled into all the +fervors--the delightful fervors, that are better imagined than +described.--Suffice it to relate the sequel--_Lactilla_ pocketed a +generous half-crown, and Sir Joseph was inchanted! Heavens! what would +this amiable Baronet have been, with the education of a curate?" + + _Miss Hannah More's Letter to the Duchess of Chandos._ + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ JONAS HANWAY, _Esq_. + +"In short, these poor children who are employed in sweeping our +chimnies, are not treated half so well as so many black Pigs--nor, +indeed, a hundredth part so well, where the latter have the good +fortune to belong to a benevolent master, such as Sir Joseph MAWBEY--a +man who, notwithstanding he is a bright Magistrate, a diligent Voter +in Parliament, and a chaste husband, is nevertheless author of not a +few fancies in the poetical way." + + _Thoughts on our savage Treatment of Chimney-sweepers_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimonies in Favour of Sir_ CECIL WRAY, _Bart_. + +DR. STRATFORD[1]. + + ALCANDER, thou'rt a God, more than a God! + Thou'rt pride of all the Gods--thou mount'st by woes-- + Hell squeaks, Eurus and Auster shake the skies-- + Yet shall thy barge dance through the hissing wave, + And on the foaming billows float to heaven! + + _Epistle to Sir Cecil Wray, under the + Character of Alcander_. + +[1] Author of 58 Tragedies, only one of which, to the disgrace +of our Theatres, has yet appeared. + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ MRS. GEORGE ANNE BELLAMY. + +"I was sitting one evening (as indeed I was wont to do when out +of cash) astride the ballustrade of Westminster-bridge, with my +favourite little dog under my arm. I had that day parted with +my diamond windmill.--Life was never very dear to me--but a +thousand thoughts then rushed into my heart, to jump this world, +and spring into eternity.--I determined that my faithful Pompey +should bear me company.--I pressed him close, and actually stretched +out, fully resolved to plunge into the stream; when, luckily +(ought I to call it so?) that charming fellow (for such he then was), +Sir Cecil WRAY, catching hold of Pompey's tail, pulled him back, +and with him pulled back me.--In a moment I found myself in a +clean hackney-coach, drawn by grey horses, with a remarkable +civil coachman, fainting in my Cecil's arms; and though I then +lost a little diamond pin, yet (contrary to what I hear has been +asserted) I NEVER prosecuted that gallant Baronet; who, in less +than a fortnight after, with his usual wit and genius, dispatched me +the following extempore poem: + + While you prepar'd, dear Anne, on Styx to sail-- + Lo! one dog sav'd you by another's tail. + +To which, in little more than a month, I penned, and sent the +following reply: + + You pinch'd my dog, 'tis true, and check'd my sail-- + But then my pin--ah, there you squeezed _my_ tail. + + _Ninth volume of Mrs. George Anne Bellamy's Apology, + now preparing for the press_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the great Parts of_ CONSTANTINE, LORD MULGRAVE, +_and his Brethren_. + +MR. BOSWELL. + +"Among those who will vote for continuing the old established +number of our Session Justices, may I not count on the tribe +of Phipps.--they love good places; and I know Mulgrave is a bit +of a poet as well as myself; for I dined in company once, where he +dined that very day twelvemonth. My excellent wife, who is a true +Montgomery, and whom I like now as well as I did twenty years ago, +adores the man who felt for the maternal pangs of a whelpless bear. +For my own part, however, there is no action I more constantly +ridicule, than his Lordship's preposterous pity for those very +sufferings which he himself occasioned, by ordering his sailors +to shoot the young bears.----But though _I_ laugh at _him_, how +handsome will it be if _he_ votes against Dundas to oblige _me_. +My disliking him and his family is no reason for his disliking me--on +the contrary, if he opposes us, is it not probable that that great +young man, whom I sincerely adore, may say, in his own lofty language, +"Mulgrave, Mulgrave, don't vex the Scotch!--don't provoke 'em! God +damn your ugly head!--if we don't crouch to Bute, we shall all be +turned out; God eternally damn you for a stupid boar! I know we shall! +Pardon me, great Sir, for presuming to forge the omnipotent bolts of +your Incomparable thunder." + + _Appendix to Mr. Baswell's Pamphlet on the Scotch Judges._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXALL, _Esq. his great Merit._ + +LORD MONBODDO. + +"Since I put forth my last volume, I have read the excellent Ode +of Mr. Wraxall, and was pleased to find that bold apostrophe in +his delicious lyric, + + "Hail, Ouran Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi!" + + +"My principles are now pretty universally known; but on this occasion +I will repeat them succinctly. I believe, from the bottom of my soul, +that all mankind are absolute Ouran Outangs. That the feudal tenures +are the great cause of our not retaining the perfect appearance of +Ourans--That human beings originally moved on all fours--That we +had better move in the same way again--That there has been giants +ninety feet high--That such giants ought to have moved on all +fours--That we all continue to be Ouran Outangs still--some more so, +some less--but that Nathaniel William WRAXALL, Esq. is the truest +Ouran Outang in Great Britain, and therefore ought immediately +to take to all fours, and especially to make all his motions +in Parliament in that way." + + _Postscript to Lard Monboddo's Ancient Metaphysics._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the Great Powers for Poesy, innate in_ MICHAEL ANGELO +TAYLOR, _Esq_. + +DR. BURNEY. + +I shall myself compose Mr. Taylor's Ode----His merit I admire----his +origin I have traced.--He is descended from Mr. John Taylor, the +famous Water Poet, who with good natural talents, never proceeded +farther in education than his accidence.--John Taylor was born in +Gloucestershire.--I find that he was bound apprentice to a +Waterman--but in process of time kept a public house in Phoenix-alley, +Long-acre[1]. Read John's modest recital of his humble culture-- + + "I must confess I do want eloquence, + And never scarce did learn my Accidence; + For having got from Possum to Posset, + I there was gravell'd, nor could farther get." + +John wrote fourscore books, but died in 1654. Here you have John's +Epitaph-- + + "Here lies the Water Poet, honest John, + Who rowed on the streams of Helicon; + Where, having many rocks and dangers past, + He at the haven of heav'n arrived at last." + +There is a print of John, holding an oar in one hand, and an empty +purse in the other.--Motto--_Et habeo_, meaning the oar--_Et careo_, +meaning the cash.--It is too bold a venture to predict a close analogy +'twixt _John_ and _Michael_--Sure am I, + + If Michael goeth on, as Michael hath begun, + Michael will equal be to famous Taylor John. + +I shall publish both the Taylor's works, with the score of Michael's +Ode, some short time hence, in as thin a quarto as my Handel's +Commemoration, price one guinea in boards, with a view of John's +house in Phoenix-alley, and Sir Robert's carriage, as Sheriff of +London and Middlesex. + +[1] This anecdote was majestically inserted in my manuscript copy +of Handel's Commemoration, by that Great Personage to whose judgment +I submitted it. (I take every occasion of shewing the insertion as +a good puff.--I wish, however, the same hand had subscribed for +the book..) I did not publish any of the said alterations in that +work, reserving some of them for my edition of _The Tayloria_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony for_ PEPPER ARDEN, _Esq.--In Answer to a Case for the +Opinion of_ GEORGE HARDINGE, _Esq. Attorney General to her Majesty._ + +I have perused this Ode, and find it containeth _eight hundred_ +and _forty-seven_ WORDS--_two thousand one hundred_ and _four_ +SYLLABLES--_four thousand three hundred_ and _forty-four_ +LETTERS[1].--It is, therefore, my opinion, that said Ode is a good and +complete title to all those fees, honours, perquisites, emoluments, and +gratuities, usually annexed, adjunct to, and dependant on, the office +of Poet Laureat, late in the occupation of William Whitehead, Esq. +defunct. + + G. HARDINGE. + +[1] See the learned Gentleman's arithmetical Speech on the Westminster +Scrutiny. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of Sir_ RICHARD HILL, _Bart_. + +LORD GEORGE GORDON. + +_To the_ EDITOR _of the_ PUBLIC ADVERTISER. + +MR. PRINTER, +I call upon all the Privy Council, Charles Jenkinson, Mr. Bond, +and the Lord Mayor of London, to protect my person from the Popish +Spies set over me by the Cabinet of William Pitt.--On Thursday ult. +having read the Ode of my friend, Sir Richard, in a print amicable +to my Protestant Brethren, and approving it, I accordingly visited +that pious Baronet, who, if called on, will verify the same.--I then +told Sir Richard what I now repeat, that George the Third ought to +send away all Papist Ambassadors.----I joined Sir Richard, Lady Hill, +and her cousin, in an excellent hymn, turned from the 1st of Matthew, +by Sir Richard.--I hereby recommend it to the eighty Societies of +Protestants in Glasgow, knowing it to be sound orthodox truth; for +that purpose, Mr. Woodfall, I now entrust it to your special care, +conjuring you to print it, as you hope to be saved. + + Salmon begat Booz-- + Booz begat Obed-- + Obed begat Jesse, so as + Jesse begat David. + + AMEN. + + And I am, Sir, + Your humble Servant, + GEO. GORDON. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT'_s Poetical Talents._ + +WARREN HASTINGS, _Esq._ + +_In an Extract from a private Letter to a Great Personage._ + +"I trust, therefore, that the rough diamonds will meet with your +favourable construction. They will be delivered by my excellent +friend, Major John Scott, who, in obedience to my orders, has taken +a seat in Parliament, and published sundry tracts on my integrity. +I can venture to recommend him as an impenetrable arguer, no man's +propositions flowing in a more deleterious stream; no man's +expressions so little hanging on the thread of opinion.--He has it in +command to compose the best and most magnificent Ode on your Majesty's +birthday. + + "What can I say more?" + + + + +A FULL AND TRUE +ACCOUNT +OF THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON'S ASCENSION +FROM +CHRIST-CHURCH MEADOW, OXFORD, + +(In the Balloon of James Sadler, Pastry-Cook to the said University) +on Friday the 20th of May, 1785, for the purpose of composing +a sublime ODE in honour of his Majesty's Birth-day; attested +before JOHN WEYLAND, Esq. one of his Majesty's Justices of the Peace +for the County of Oxford.[1] + +It was in obedience to the advice of my brother, Dr. Joseph Warton, +that I came to a determination, on the fifth of May ult. to compose +my first Birth-day Ode, at the elevation of one mile above the earth, +in the Balloon of my ingenious friend, Mr. James Sadler, of this city. +Accordingly, having agreed for the same, at a very moderate rate +per hour (I paying all charges of inflating, and standing to repairs), +at nine in the morning, on Friday, the 28th of said month, I repaired +to Christ-church meadow, with my ballast, provisions, cat, speaking +trumpet, and other necessaries.--It was my first design to have +invited Dr. Joseph to have ascended with me; but apprehending the +malicious construction that might follow on this, as if, forsooth, +my intended ode was to be a joint production, I e'en made up my mind +to mount alone.--My provisions principally consisted of a small pot +of stewed prunes, and half of a plain diet-bread cake, both prepared, +and kindly presented to me, by the same ingenious hand which had +fabricated the Balloon. I had also a small subsidiary stock, viz. +a loaf of Sandwiches, three bottles of old ale, a pint of brandy, +a sallad ready mixed, a roll of collared eel, a cold goose, six +damson tartlets, a few china oranges, and a roasted pig of the +Chinese breed; together with a small light barometer, and a proper +store of writing utensils; but no note, memorandum, nor loose hint +of any kind, so help me God!----My ascension was majestic, to an +uncommon degree of tardiness. I was soon constrained, therefore, +to lighten my Balloon, by throwing out some part of my ballast, +which consisted of my own History of Poetry, my late edition of +Milton's Minora, my Miscellaneous Verses, Odes, Sonnets, Elegies, +Inscriptions, Monodies, and Complaints; my Observations on Spencer, +the King's last Speech, and Lord Montmorres's pamphlet on the +Irish Resolutions. On throwing out his Lordship's Essay, the Balloon +sprang up surprisingly; but the weight of my provisions still +retarding the elevation, I was fain to part with both volumes of +my Spencer, and all of my last edition of Poems, except those that +are marked with an asterisk, as never before printed: which very +quickly accelerated my ascension. I now found the barometer had +fallen four inches and six lines, in eight minutes.--In less than +eleven minutes after I had ascended very considerably indeed, +the barometer having then fallen near seventeen inches; and presently +after I entered a thick black cloud, which I have since found +rendered me wholly obscured to all observation. In this situation. +I lost no time to begin my Ode; and, accordingly, in the course +of twenty-five minutes, I produced the very lines which now commence +it. The judicious critic will notice, that absence of the plain +and trite style which mark the passage I refer to; nor am I so +uncandid to deny the powerful efficacy of mist, darkness, and +obscurity, on the sublime and mysterious topics I there touch on--It +cannot fail also to strike the intelligent observer, that the +expression so much commented on, of "_No echoing car_," was obviously +suggested by that very car in which I myself was then seated--Finding, +however, that, together with the increased density of the +overshadowing cloud, the coldness also was proportionally increased, +so as at one time to freeze my ink completely over for near twenty +minutes, I thought it prudent, by means of opening the valve at the +vortex of my Balloon, to emit part of the ascending power. This +occasioned a proportioned descent very speedily: but I must not +overlook a phnomenon which had previously occurred.----It was this: +on a sudden the nibs of all my pens (and I took up forty-eight, in +compliment to the number of my Sovereign's years) as if attracted by +the polar power, pointed upwards, each pen erecting itself +perpendicular, and resting on the point of its feather: I found also, +to my no small surprize, that during the whole of this period, every +one of my letters was actually cut topsy-turvy-wise; which I the +rather mention, to account for any appearance of a correspondent +inversion in the course of my ideas at that period. + +On getting nearer the earth, the appearances I have described +altogether ceased, and I instantly penned the second division of +my Ode; I mean that which states his most excellent Majesty to be +the patron of the fine arts. But here (for which I am totally at +a loss to account) I found myself descending so very rapidly, that +even after I had thrown out not only two volumes of my History +of Poetry, but also a considerable portion of my pig, I struck, +nevertheless, with such violence on the weather-cock of a church, +that unless I had immediately parted with the remainder of my ballast, +excepting only his Majesty's Speech, one pen, the paper of my Ode, +and a small ink-bottle, I must infallibly have been a-ground. +Fortunately, by so rapid a discharge, I procured a quick re-ascension; +when immediately, though much pinched with the cold, the mercury +having suddenly fallen twenty-two inches, I set about my concluding +stanza, viz. that which treats of his Majesty's most excellent +chastity. And here I lay my claim to the indulgence of the critics +to that part of my ode; for what with the shock I had received +in striking on the weather-cock, and the effect of the prunes +which I had now nearly exhausted, on a sudden I found myself +very much disordered indeed. Candour required my just touching +on this circumstance; but delicacy must veil the particulars +in eternal oblivion. At length, having completed the great object +of my ascent, I now re-opened the valve, and descended with great +rapidity. They only who have travelled in Balloons, can imagine +the sincere joy of my heart, at perceiving Dr. Joseph cantering up +a turnip-field, near Kidlington Common, where I landed exactly at +a quarter after two o'clock; having, from my first elevation, +completed the period of five hours and fifteen minutes; four of +which, with the fraction of ten seconds, were entirely devoted to +my Ode.--Dr. Joseph quite hugged me in his arms, and kindly lent me +a second wig (my own being thrown over at the time of my striking), +which, with his usual precaution, he had brought in his pocket, +in case of accidents. I take this occasion also to pay my thanks +to Thomas Gore, Esq. for some excellent milk-punch, which he +directed his butler to furnish me with most opportunely; and which +I then thought the most solacing beverage I ever had regaled withal. +Dr Joseph and myself reached Oxford in the Dilly by five in the +evening, the populace most handsomely taking off the horses for +something more than the last half mile, in honour of the first +Literary Areonaut of these kingdoms-- + + _As witness my hand this 22d of May, 1785_, THOMAS WARTON. + +CERTIFICATE. + +_County of Oxford to wit, 22nd of May, 1785._ +This is to certify, to all whom it may concern, That the aforesaid +Thomas and Joseph Warton came before me, one of his Majesty's +Justices of the Peace for the said county, and did solemnly make +oath to the truth of the above case. + His + Sworn before me, JOHN + WEYLAND. + Mark. + + +[1] It cannot fail to attract the Reader's particular attention +to this very curious piece, to inform him, that Signor Delpini's +decision, in favour of Mr. Warton, was chiefly grounded on the new +and extraordinary style of writing herein attested. + + + + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +On the demise of the late excellent Bard, William Whitehead, Esq. +Poet Laureat to his Majesty, it was decidedly the opinion of +his Majesty's great superintendant Minister, that the said office +should be forthwith declared elective, and in future continue so; +in order as well to provide the ablest successor on the present +melancholy occasion, as also to secure a due preference to superior +talents, upon all future vacancies: it was in consequence of this +determination, that the following Public Notice issued from the +Lord Chamberlain's Office, and became the immediate cause of the +celebrated contest that is recorded in these pages. + + * * * * * + +ADVERTISEMENT. +_Lord Chamberlain's Office, April 26._ + +In order to administer strict and impartial justice to the numerous +candidates for the vacant POET LAUREATSHIP, many of whom are of +illustrious birth, and high character, + +Notice is hereby given, That the same form will be attended to +in receiving the names of the said Candidates, which is invariably +observed in registering the Court Dancers. The list to be finally +closed on Friday evening next. + +Each Candidate is expected to deliver in a PROBATIONARY BIRTH-DAY ODE, +with his name, and also personally to appear on a future day, to +recite the same before such literary judges as the Lord Chamberlain, +in his wisdom, may appoint. + + * * * * * + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +[The following Account, though modestly stiled a _Hasty Sketch_, +according to the known delicacy of the Editorial Style, is in fact +_A Report_, evidently penned by the hand of a Master.] + +HASTY SKETCH _of Wednesday's Business at the_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S +OFFICE. + +In consequence of the late general notice, given by public +advertisement, of an _open election_ for the vacant office of _Poet +Laureat_ to their Majesties, on the terms of Probationary +Compositions, a considerable number of the most eminent characters in +the fashionable world assembled at the _Lord Chamberlain's Office_, +Stable-yard, St. James's, on Wednesday last, between the hours of +twelve and two, when Mr. _Ramus_ was immediately dispatched to Lord +Salisbury's, acquainting his Lordship therewith, and soliciting his +attendance to receive the several candidates, and admit their +respective tenders. His Lordship arriving in a short time after, the +following Noblemen and Gentlemen were immediately presented to his +Lordship by _John Calvert, Jun. Esq._ in quality of Secretary to the +office. _James Eley, Esq._ and Mr. _Samuel Betty_, attended also as +first and second Clerk, the following list of candidates was made out +forthwith, and duly entered on the roll, as a preliminary record to +the subsequent proceedings. + +The Right Rev. Dr. William Markham, Lord Archbishop of York. +The Right Hon. Edward, Lord Thurlow, Lord High Chancellor of Great + Britain. +The Most Noble James, Marquis of Graham. +The Right Hon. Harvey Redmond, Visc. Montmorres, of the kingdom of + Ireland. +The Right Hon. Constantine, Lord Mulgrave, ditto. +The Right Hon. Henry Dundas. +Sir George Howard, K.B. +Sir Cecil Wray, Baronet. +Sir Joseph Mawbey, ditto. +Sir Richard Hill, ditto. +Sir Gregory Page Turner, ditto. +The Rev. William Mason, B.D. +The Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. +The Rev. George Prettyman, D.D. +The Rev, Joseph Warton, D.D. +Pepper Arden, Esq. Attorney-General to his Majesty. +Michael Angelo Taylor, Esq. M.P. +James M'Pherson, Esq. ditto. +Major John Scott, ditto. +Nath. William Wraxhall, Esq. ditto. +Mons. Le Mesurier, Membre du Parlement d'Angleterre. + +The several candidates having taken their places at a table provided +for the occasion, the Lord Chamberlain, in the politest manner, +signified his wish that each candidate would forthwith recite some +sample of his poetry as he came provided with for the occasion; +at the same time most modestly confessing his own inexperience +in all such matters, and intreating their acquiescence therefore +in his appointment of his friend _Mr. Delpini_, of the Hay-Market +Theatre, as an active and able assessor on so important an occasion. +Accordingly, _Mr. Delpini_ being immediately introduced, the several +candidates proceeded to recite their compositions, according to +their rank and precedence in the above list--both his Lordship and +his assessor attended throughout the whole of the readings with +the profoundest respect, and taking no refreshment whatsoever, +except some China oranges and biscuit, which were also handed about +to the company by _Mr. John Secker_, Clerk of the Houshold, and +_Mr. William Wise_, Groom of the Buttery. + +At half after five, the readings being completed, his Lordship and +_Mr. Delpini_ retired to an adjoining chamber; _Mrs. Elizabeth Dyer_, +Keeper of the Butter and Egg Office, and _Mr. John Hook_, Deliverer +of Greens, being admitted to the candidates with several other +refreshments suitable to the fatigue of the day. Two Yeomen of +the Mouth and a Turn-broacher attended likewise; and indeed every +exertion was made to conduct the little occasional repast that +followed with the utmost decency and convenience; the whole being +at the expence of the Crown, notwithstanding every effort to the +contrary on the part of _Mr. Gilbert_. + +At length the awful moment arrived, when the _detur digniori_ was +finally to be pronounced on the busy labours of the day--never +did Lord Salisbury appear to greater advantage--never did his +assessor more amusingly console the discomfitures of the failing +candidates--every thing that was affable, every thing that was +mollifying, was ably expressed by both the judges; but poetical +ambition is not easily allayed. When the fatal _fiat_ was announced +in favour of the Rev. Thomas Warton, a general gloom overspread +the whole society--a still and awful silence long prevailed. +At length Sir Cecil Wray started up, and emphatically pronounced +_a scrutiny! a scrutiny!_--A shout of applause succeeded--in vain +did the incomparable Buffo introduce his most comic gestures--in +vain was his admirable leg pointed horizontally at every head in +the room--a scrutiny was demanded--and a scrutiny was granted. +In a word, the Lord Chamberlain declared his readiness to submit +the productions of the day to the inspection of the public, reserving +nevertheless to himself and his assessor, the full power of annulling +or establishing the sentence already pronounced. It is in consequence +of the above direction, that we shall now give the public the said +PROBATIONARY VERSES, commencing with those, however, which are the +production of such of the candidates as most vehemently insisted +on the right of appeal, conceiving such priority to be injustice +granted to the persons whose public spirit has given so lucky a +turn to this poetical election. According to the above order, the +first composition that we lay before the public is the following:-- + + + + +_NUMBER I._ + +IRREGULAR ODE. + +The WORDS by SIR CECIL WRAY, BART. + +The SPELLING by Mr. GROJAN, _Attorney at Law._ + + HARK! hark!--hip! hip!--hoh! hoh! + What a mort of bards are a-singing! + Athwart--across--below---- + I'm sure there's a dozen a dinging! + I hear sweet Shells, loud Harps, large Lyres-- + Some, I trow, are tun'd by Squires-- + Some by Priests, and some by Lords!--while Joe and I + Our _bloody hands_, hoist up, like meteors, on high! + Yes, _Joe_ and I + Are em'lous--Why? + It is because, great CSAR, you are clever-- + Therefore we'd sing of you for ever! + Sing--sing--sing--sing + God save the King! + Smile then, CSAR, smile on _Wray_! + Crown at last his _poll_ with bay!---- + Come, oh! bay, and with thee bring + Salary, illustrious thing!---- + Laurels vain of Covent-garden, + I don't value you a farding!---- + Let sack my soul cheer + For 'tis sick of small beer! + CSAR! CSAR! give it--do! + Great CSAR giv't all, for my Muse 'doreth you!-- + Oh fairest of the Heavenly Nine, + Enchanting _Syntax_, Muse divine! + Whether on _Phoebus_' hoary head, + By blue-ey'd _Rhadamanthus_ led, + Or with young _Helicon_ you stray, + Where mad _Parnassus_ points the way;-- + Goddess of _Elizium_'s hill, + Descend upon my _Pan_'s quill.---- + The light Nymph hears--no more + By _Pegasus_' meand'ring shore, + _Ambrosia_ playful boy, + Plumbs her _jene scai quoi!_---- + I mount!--I mount!-- + I'm half a _Lark_--I'm half an _Eagle_! + Twelve stars I count---- + I see their dam-- she is a _Beagle_! + Ye Royal little ones, + I love your flesh and bones-- + You are an arch, rear'd with immortal stones! + _Hibernia_ strikes his harp! + Shuttle, fly!--woof! wed! warp! + Far, far, from me and you, + In latitude North 52.-- + Rebellion's hush'd, + The merchant's flush'd;-- + Hail, awful _Brunswick, Saxe-Gotha_, hail! + Not _George_, but _Louis_, now shall turn his tail! + Thus, I a-far from mad debate, + Like an old wren, + With my good hen, + Or a young gander, + Am a by-stander, + To all the peacock pride, and vain regards of state!-- + Yet if the laurel _prize_, + Dearer than my eyes, + Curs'd _Warton_ tries + For to surprize, + By the eternal God I'll SCRUTINIZE! + + + + +_NUMBER II._ + +ODE ON THE NEW YEAR, + +By LORD MULGRAVE. + + +STROPHE. + + O for a Muse of Fire, + With blazing thumbs to touch my torpid lyre! + Now in the darksome regions round the Pole, + Tigers fierce, and Lions bold, + With wild affright would see the snow-hills roll, + Their sharp teeth chattering with the cold-- + But that Lions dwell not there---- + Nor beast, nor Christian--none but the _White Bear!_ + The White Bear howls amid the tempest's roar, + And list'ning Whales swim headlong from the shore! + + +ANTISTROPHE. (By _Brother_ HARRY.) + + Farewel awhile, ye summer breezes! + What is the life of man? + A span! + Sometimes it thaws, sometimes it freezes, + Just as it pleases! + If Heaven decrees, fierce whirlwinds rend the air, + And then again (behold!) 'tis fair! + Thus peace and war on earth alternate reign: + Auspicious GEORGE, thy powerful word + Gives peace to France and Spain, + And sheaths the martial sword! + + +STROPHE II. (By _Brother_ CHARLES.) + + And now gay Hope, her anchor dropping, + And blue-ey'd Peace, and black-ey'd Pleasures, + And Plenty in light cadence hopping, + Fain would dance to WHITEHEAD's measures. + But WHITEHEAD now in death reposes, + Crown'd with laurel! crown'd with roses! + Yet we, with laurel crown'd, his dirge will sing, + And thus deserve fresh laurels from the KING. + + + + +_NUMBER III._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, BART. + + +STROPHE. + + HARK!--to yon heavenly skies, + Nature's congenial perfumes upwards rise! + From each throng'd stye + That saw my gladsome eye, + Incense, quite smoking hot, arose, + And caught my _seven sweet senses_--by the _nose_! + + +AIR--_accompanied by the_ LEARNED PIG. + + Tell me, dear Muse, oh! tell me, pray, + Why JOEY's fancy frisks so gay; + Is it!--you slut it is--some _holy--holiday!_ + [_Here Muse Whispers I,--Sir Joseph._] + Indeed!--Repeat the fragrant sound! + Push love, and loyalty around, + Through _Irish_, _Scotch_, as well as _British_ ground! + + +CHORUS. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE, _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING! + + +AIR--_with Lutes._ + + Well might my dear lady say, + As lamb-like by her side I lay, + This very, very morn; + Hark! JOEY, hark! + I hear the lark, + Or else it is--the sweet _Sowgelder_'s horn! + + +ANTISTROPHE. + + Forth, from their styes, the bristly victims lead; + A score of HOGS, flat on their backs, shall bleed. + Mind they be such on which good Gods might feast! + And that + In lily fat + They cut six inches on the ribs, at least! + + +DUET--_with Marrow-bones and Cleavers._ + + _Butcher_ and _Cook_ begin! + We'll have a royal greasy chin! + Tit bits so nice and rare-- + Prepare! prepare! + Let none abstain, + Refrain! + I'll give 'em pork in plenty--cut, and come again! + + +RECITATIVE. + + Hog! Porker! Roaster! Boar-stag! Barbicue! + Cheeks! Chines! Crow! Chitterlings! and Harselet new! + Springs! Spare-ribs! Sausages! Sous'd-lugs! and Face! + With piping-hot Pease-pudding--plenteous place! + Hands! Hocks! Hams! Haggis, with high seas'ning fill'd! + Gammons! Green Griskins! on gridirons grill'd! + Liver and Lights! from Plucks that moment drawn + Pigs' Puddings! Black and White! with Canterbury Brawn!-- + + +TRIO. + + Fall too, + Ye Royal crew! + Eat! Eat your bellies full! pray do! + At treats I never winces:-- + The Queen shall say, + Once in a way, + Her maids have been well cramm'd--her young ones din'd like Princes! + + +FULL CHORUS--_accompanied by the whole_ HOGGERY. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE! _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING!!!! + + + + +_NUMBER IV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR RICHARD HILL, BART. + + + Hail, pious Muse of saintly love, + Unmix'd, unstain'd with earthly dross! + Hail Muse of _Methodism_, above + The Royal Mews at Charing-cross! + Behold both hands I raise; + Behold both knees I bend; + Behold both eye-balls gaze! + Quick, Muse, descend, descend! + Meek Muse of _Madan_, thee my soul invokes-- + Oh point my pious puns! oh sanctify my jokes! + + +II. + + Descend, and, oh! in mem'ry keep-- + There's a time to wake--a time to sleep-- + A time to laugh-a time to cry! + The _Bible_ says so--so do I!-- + Then broad awake, oh, come to me! + And thou my _Eastern star_ shalt be! + + +III. + + MILLER, bard of deathless name, + MOSES, wag of merry fame; + Holy, holy, holy pair, + Harken to your vot'ry's pray'r! + Grant, that like Solomon's of old, + My faith be still in _Proverbs_ told; + Like his, let my religion be + Conundrums of divinity. + And oh! to mine, let each strong charm belong, + That breathes salacious in the _wise man_'s song; + And thou, sweet bard, for ever dear + To each impassioned love-fraught ear, + Soft, luxuriant ROCHESTER; + Descend, and ev'ry tint bestow, + That gives to phrase its ardent glow; + From thee, thy willing _Hill_ shall learn + Thoughts that melt, and words that burn: + Then smile, oh, gracious, smile on this petition! + So _Solomon_, gay _Wilmot_ join'd with thee, + Shall shew the world that such a thing can be + As, strange to tell!--_a virtuous Coalition!_ + + +IV. + + Thou too, thou dread and awful shade + Of dear departed WILL WHITEHEAD, + Look through the blue therial skies, + And view me with propitious eyes! + Whether thou most delight'st to loll + On _Sion_'s top, or near the _Pole_! + Bend from thy _mountains_, and remember still + The wants and wishes of a lesser _Hill_! + Then, like _Elijah_, fled to realms above, + To me, thy friend, bequeath my hallow'd cloak, + And by its virtue Richard may improve, + And in _thy habit_ preach, and pun, and joke! + _The Lord doth give--The Lord doth take away._-- + Then good _Lord Sal'sbury_ attend to me-- + Banish these sons of _Belial_ in dismay; + And give the praise to a true _Pharisee_: + For sure of all the _scribes_ that Israel curst, + These _scribes_ poetic are by far the worst. + To thee, my _Samson_, unto thee I call---- + Exert thy _jaw_--and straight disperse them all-- + So, as in former times, the _Philistines_ shall fall! + Then as 'twas th' beginning, + So to th' end 't shall be; + My Muse will ne'er leave singing + The LORD of SAL'SBURY!!! + + + + +_NUMBER V._ + +DUAN, +IN THE TRUE OSSIAN SUBLIMITY, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + + Does the wind touch thee, O HARP? + Or is it some passing Ghost? + Is is thy hand, + Spirit of the departed _Scrutiny_? + Bring me the harp, pride of CHATHAM! + Snow is on thy bosom, + Maid of the modest eye! + A song shall rise! + Every soul shall depart at the sound!!! + The wither'd thistle shall crown my head!!! + I behold thee, O King! + I behold thee sitting on mist!!! + Thy form is like a watery cloud, + Singing in the deep like an oyster!!!! + Thy face is like the beams of the setting moon! + Thy eyes are of two decaying flames! + Thy nose is like the spear of ROLLO!!! + Thy ears are like three bossy shields!!! + Strangers shall rejoice at thy chin! + The ghosts of dead Tories shall hear me + In their airy hall! + The wither'd thistle shall crown my head! + Bring me the Harp, + Son of CHATHAM! + But thou, O King! give me the Laurel! + + + + +_NUMBER VI._ + +[Though the following _Ossianade_ does not immediately come under +the description of a _Probationary Ode_, yet as it appertains to +the nomination of the _Laureat_, we class it under the same head. +We must at the same time compliment Mr. _Macpherson_ for his spirited +address to Lord Salisbury on the subject. The following is a copy +of his letter:] + + +MY LORD, + +I take the liberty to address myself immediately to your Lordship, +in vindication of my poetical character, which, I am informed, +is most illiberally attacked by the Foreign Gentleman, whom your +Lordship has thought proper to select as an assessor on the present +scrutiny for the office of Poet Laureat to his Majesty. Signor Delpini +is certainly below my notice--but I understand his objections to +my _Probationary Ode_ are two;--first, its conciseness; and next, +its being in _prose_. For the present, I shall wave all discussion +of these frivolous remarks; begging leave, however, to solicit +your Lordship's protection to the following _Supplemental Ode_, which, +I hope, both from its _quantity_ and its _style_, will most +effectually do away the paltry, insidious attack of an uninformed +reviler, who is equally ignorant of British Poetry and of British +Language. + + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship's most obedient, + and faithful servant, + J. MACPHERSON. + + + + +THE SONG OF SCRUTINA, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + +Hark! 'Tis the dismal sound that echoes on thy roofs, O _Cornwall_; +Hail! double-face sage! Thou worthy son of the chair-borne _Fletcher_! +The Great Council is met to fix the seats of the chosen Chief; +their voices resound in the gloomy hall of Rufus, like the roaring +winds of the cavern--Loud were the cries for _Rays_, but thy voice, +O _Foxan_, rendered the walls like the torrent that gusheth from +the Mountain-side. _Cornwall_ leaped from his throne and screamed--the +friends of _Gwelfo_ hung their heads--How were the mighty fallen! Lift +up thy face, _Dundasso_, like the brazen shield of thy chieftain! Thou +art bold to confront disgrace, and shame is unknown to thy brow--but +tender is the youth of thy leader; who droopeth his head like a faded +lily--leave not _Pitto_ in the day of defeat, when the Chiefs of the +Counties fly from him like the herd from the galled Deer.--The friends +of _Pitto_ are fled. He is alone--he layeth himself down in despair, +and sleep knitteth up his brow.--Soft were his dreams on the green +bench--Lo! the spirit of _Jenky_ arose, pale as the mist of the +morn--twisted was his long lank form--his eyes winked as he whispered +to the child in the cradle. Rise, he sayeth--arise bright babe of the +dark closet! the shadow of the Throne shall cover thee, like wings of +a hen, sweet chicken of the Back-stair brood! Heed not the Thanes of +the Counties; they have fled from thee, like Cackling Geese from the +hard-bitten Fox: but will they not rally and return to the charge? Let +the host of the King be numbered; they are as the sands of the barren +shore.--There Is _Powno_, who followeth his mighty leader, and chaceth +the stall-fed stag all day on the dusty road.--There is _Howard_, +great in arms, with the beaming star on his spreading breast.--Red is +the scarf that waves over his ample shoulders--Gigantic are his strides +on the terrace, in pursuit of the Royal footsteps of lofty _Georgio_. + +No more will I number the flitting shades of Jenky; for behold the +potent spirit of the black-browed _Jacko_.--'Tis the _Ratten Robinso_, +who worketh the works of darkness! Hither I come, said _Ratten_--Like +the mole of the earth, deep caverns have been my resting place; +the ground _Rats_ are my food.--Secret minion of the Crown, raise +thy soul! Droop not at the spirit of _Foxan_. Great are thy foes +in the sight of the many-tongued war.--Shake not they knees, like +the leaves of the Aspen on the misty hill--the doors of the stairs +in the postern are locked; the voice of thy foes is as the wind, +which whistleth through the vale; it passeth away like the swift +cloud of the night. + +The breath of _Gwelfo_ stilleth the stormy seas.----Whilst thou +breathest the breath of his nostrils, thou shalt live for ever. +Firm standeth thy heel in the Hall of thy Lord. Mighty art thou in +the sight of _Gwelfo_, illustrious leader of the friends of _Gwelfo_! +great art thou, O lovely imp of the interior closet! O lovely Guardian +of the Royal Junto! + + + + +NUMBER VII. + +MR. MASON having laid aside the more noble subject for a Probationary +Ode, viz. the Parliamentary Reform, upon finding that the Rev. Mr. +_Wyvil_ had already made a considerable progress in it, has adopted +the following.--The argument is simple and interesting, adapted either +to the harp of _Pindar_, or the reed of Theocritus_,_ and as proper +for the 4th of June, as any day of the year. + +It is almost needless to inform the public, that the University of +Oxford has earnestly longed for a visit from their Sovereign, and, +in order to obtain this honour without the fatigue of forms and +ceremonies, they have privately desired the Master of the Staghounds, +upon turning the stag out of the cart, to set his head in as straight +a line as possible, by the map, towards Oxford:--which probably, +on some auspicious day, will bring the Royal Hunt to the walls +of that city. This expedient, conceived in so much wisdom, as well +as loyalty, makes the subject of the following, + + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ MR. MASON. + +I. + O! green-rob'd Goddess of the hallow'd shade, + Daughter of Jove, to whom of yore + Thee, lovely maid, _Latona_ bore, + Chaste virgin, Empress of the silent glade! + Where shall I woo thee?--Ere the dawn, + While still the dewy tissue of the lawn + Quivering spangles to the eye, + And fills the soul with Nature's harmony! + Or 'mid that murky grove's monastic night, + The tangling net-work of the woodbine's gloom, + Each zephyr pregnant with perfume---- + Or near that delving dale, or mossy mountain's height, + When _Neptune_ struck the scientific ground. + +II. + From _Attica_'s deep-heaving side, + Why did the prancing horse rebound, + Snorting, neighing all around, + With thund'ring feet and flashing eyes-- + Unless to shew how near allied + Bright science is to exercise! + +III. + If then the _horse_ to wisdom is a friend, + Why not the _hound_? why not the _horn_? + While low beneath the furrow sleeps the corn, + Nor yet in tawny vests delight to bend! + For Jove himself decreed, + That DIAN, with her sandal'd feet, + White ankled Goddess pure and fleet, + Should with every Dryad lead, + By jovial cry o'er distant plain, + To _England_'s Athens, _Brunswick_'s sylvan train! + +IV. + _Diana_, Goddess all discerning! + _Hunting_ is a friend to learning! + If the stag, with hairy nose, + In Autumn ne'er had thought of love! + No buck with swollen throat the does + With dappled sides had tryed to move---- + Ne'er had _England_'s King, I ween, + The Muse's seat, fair _Oxford_, seen. + + V. + Hunting, thus, is learning's friend! + No longer, Virgin Goddess, bend + O'er _Endymion_'s roseate breast;---- + No longer, vine-like, chastly twine + Round his milk-white limbs divine!---- + Your brother's car rolls down the east-- + The laughing hours bespeak the day! + With flowery wreaths they strew the way! + Kings of sleep! ye mortal race! + For _George_ with _Dian_ 'gins the Royal chace! + +VI. + Visions of bliss, you tear my aching sight, + Spare, O spare your poet's eyes! + See every gate-way trembles with delight, + Streams of glory streak the skies: + How each College sounds, + With the cry of the hounds! + How _Peckwater_ merrily rings; + Founders, Prelates, Queens, and Kings-- + All have had your hunting-day!-- + From the dark tomb then break away! + Ah! see they rush to _Friar Bacon_'s tower, + Great _George_ to greet, and hail his natal hour! + +VII. + _Radcliffe_ and _Wolsey_, hand in hand, + Sweet gentle shades, there take their stand + With _Pomfret_'s learned dame; + And _Bodely_ join'd by Clarendon, + With loyal zeal together run, + Just arbiters of fame! + +VIII. + That fringed cloud sure this way bends-- + From it a form divine descends-- + _Minerva_'s self;--and in her rear + A thousand saddled steads appear! + On each she mounts a learned son, + Professor, Chancellor, or Dean; + All by hunting madness won, + All in _Dian_'s livery seen. + How they despise the tim'rous _Hare_! + Give us, they cry, the furious _Bear_! + To chase the Lion, how they long, + Th' _Rhinoceros_ tall, and _Tyger_ strong. + Hunting thus is learning's prop, + Then may hunting never drop; + And thus an hundred _Birth-Days_ more, + Shall Heav'n to _George_ afford from its capacious shore. + + + + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ THE ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +I. + _Indite_, my Muse!--_indite! subpoena'd_ is thy lyre! + The praises to _record_, which _rules of Court_ require! + 'Tis thou, O _Clio_! Muse divine, + And best of all the _Council_ Nine, + Must _plead_ my _cause_!--Great HATFIELD'S CECIL bids me sing------ + The tallest, fittest man, to walk before the King! + +II. + Of _Sal'sbury's Earls_ the First (so tells th' historic page) + 'Twas Nature's will to make most wonderfully sage; + But then, as if too liberal to his mind, + She made him crook'd before, and crook'd behind[1]. + 'Tis not, thank Heav'n! my _Cecil_, so with thee; + Thou last of Cecils, but unlike the first;-- + Thy body bears no mark'd deformity;---- + The Gods _decreed_, and _judgment was revers'd!_ + For veins of Science are like veins of gold! + Pure, for a time, they run; + They end as they begun-- + Alas! in nothing but a heap of mould! + +III. + Shall I by eloquence controul, + Or _challenge_ send to mighty ROLLE, + Whene'er on Peers he vents his gall? + Uplift my hands to pull his nose, + And twist and pinch it till it grows, + Like mine, aside, and small? + Say, by what _process_ may I once obtain + A _verdict_, Lord, not let me _sue_ in vain! + In Commons, and in _Courts_ below, + My _actions_ have been try'd;-- + There _Clients_ who pay most, _you know_, + _Retain_ the strongest side! + True to these _terms_, I preach'd in politics for _Pitt_, + And _Kenyon's law_ maintain'd against his Sovereign's _writ_. + What though my father be a porpus, + He may be mov'd by _Habeas Corpus_-- + Or by a _call_, whene'er the State + Or _Pitt_ requires his vote and weight-- + I tender _bail_ for Bottle's _warm_ support, + Of all the plans of Ministers and Court! + +IV. + And Oh! should _Mrs. Arden_ bless me with a child, + A lovely boy, as beauteous as myself and mild; + The little _Pepper_ would some caudle lack: + Then think of _Arden_'s wife, + My pretty _Plaintiff_'s life, + The best of caudle's made of best of sack! + Let thy _decree_ + But favour me, + My _bills_ and _briefs_, _rebutters_ and _detainers_, + To _Archy_ I'll resign + Without a _fee_ or _fine_, + _Attachments_, _replications_, and _retainers_! + To _Juries, Bench, Exchequer, Seals_, + To _Chanc'ry Court_, and _Lords_, I'll bid adieu; + No more _demurrers_ nor _appeals_;---- + My _writs of error_ shall be _judg'd_ by you. + +V. + And if perchance great _Doctor Arnold_ should retire, + Fatigu'd with all the troubles of St. James's Choir; + My Odes two merits shall unite; + [2]BEARCROFT, my friend, + His aid will lend, + And set to music all I write; + Let me then, Chamberlain without a _flaw_, + For June the fourth prepare, + The praises of the King + In _legal lays_ to sing, + Until they rend the air, + And _prove_ my equal fame in _poesy_ and law! + + +[1] Rapin observes, that Robert Cecil, the first Earl of Salisbury, +was of a great genius; and though crooked before and behind, +Nature supplied that defect with noble endowments of mind. + +[2] This Gentleman is a great performer upon the Piano Forte, +as well as the Speaking Trumpet and Jews' Harp. + + + + +_NUMBER IX._ + +ODE, + +_By_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXHALL, ESQ. M.P. + +I. + MURRAIN seize the House of Commons! + Hoarse catarrh their windpipes shake! + Who, deaf to travell'd Learning's summons, + Rudely cough'd whene'er I spake! + _North_, nor _Fox_'s thund'ring course, + Nor e'en the Speaker, tyrant, shall have force + To save thy walls from nightly breaches, + From _Wraxhall_'s votes, from _Wraxhall_'s speeches, + _Geography_, terraqueous maid, + Descend from globes to statesmen's aid! + Again to heedless crouds unfold + Truths unheard, tho' not untold: + Come, and once more unlock this vasty world-- + Nations attend! the _map_ of _Earth_'s unfurl'd! + +II. + Begin the song, from where the Rhine, + The Elbe, the Danube, Weser rolls---- + _Joseph_, nine circles, forty seas are thine---- + Thine, twenty millions souls---- + Upon a marish flat and dank + States, Six and One, + Dam the dykes, the seas embank, + Maugre the Don! + A gridiron's form the proud Escurial rears, + While South of Vincent's Cape anchovies glide: + But, ah! o'er Tagus, once auriferous tide, + A priest-rid Queen, Braganza's sceptre bears---- + Hard fate! that Lisbon's Diet-drink is known + To cure each crazy _constitution_ but her own! + +III. + I burn! I burn! I glow! I glow! + With antique and with modern lore! + I rush from Bosphorus to Po-- + To Nilus from the Nore. + Why were thy Pyramids, O Egypt! rais'd, + But to be measur'd, and be prais'd? + Avaunt, ye Crocodiles! your threats are vain! + On Norway's seas, my soul, unshaken, + Brav'd the Sea-Snake and the Craken! + And shall I heed the River's scaly train? + Afric, I scorn thy Alligator band! + Quadrant in hand + I take my stand, + And eye thy moss-clad needle, Cleopatra grand! + O, that great Pompey's pillar were my own! + Eighty-eight feet the shaft, and all one stone! + But hail, ye lost Athenians! + Hail also, ye Armenians! + Hail once, ye Greeks, ye Romans, Carthagenians! + Twice hail, ye Turks, and thrice, ye Abyssinians! + Hail too, O Lapland, with thy squirrels airy! + Hail, Commerce-catching Tipperary! + Hail, wonder-working Magi! + Hail, Ouran-Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi! + Hail, all ye cabinets of every state, + From poor Marino's Hill, to Catherine's Empire great! + All have their chiefs, who-speak, who write, who seem to think, + _Caermarthens, Sydneys, Rutlands_, paper, pens, and ink; + +IV. + Thus, through all climes, to earth's remotest goal, + From burning Indus to the freezing Pole, + In chaises and on floats, + In dillies, and in boats; + Now on a camel's native stool; + Now on an ass, now on a mule. + Nabobs and Rajahs have I seen; + Old Bramins mild, young Arabs keen: + Tall Polygars, + Dwarf Zemindars, + Mahommed's tomb, Killarney's lake, the fane of Ammon, + With all thy Kings and Queens, ingenious Mrs. Salmon[1]: + Yet vain the majesties of wax! + Vain the cut velvet on their backs---- + GEORGE, mighty GEORGE, is flesh and blood---- + No head he wants of wax or wood! + His heart is good! + (As a King's should) + And every thing he says is understood! + +[1] Exhibits the Wax-work, in Fleet-Street. + + + + +_NUMBER X._ + +ODE FOR NEW-YEAR'S-DAY, + +_By_ SIR GREGORY PAGE TURNER, BART. M.P. + +Lord Warden of Blackheath, and Ranger of Greenwich Hill, +during the Christmas and Easter Holidays. + +STROPHE. + + O day of high career! + First of a month--nay more--first of a year! + A _monarch-day_, that hath indeed no peer! + Let huge _Buzaglos_ glow + In ev'ry corner of the isle, + To melt away the snow: + And like to _May_, + Be this month gay; + And with her at hop--step--jump--play, + Dance, grin, and smile: + Ye too, ye _Maids of Honour_, young and old, + Shall each be seen, + With a neat _warming_ patentiz'd _machine_! + Because, 'tis said, that _chastity_ is _cold_! + +ANTISTROPHE. + + But ah! no roses meet the sight; + No _yellow_ buds of _saffron_ hue, + Nor _azure_ blossoms of _pale blue_, + Nor tulips, pinks, &c. delight. + Yet on fine _tiffany_ will I + My genius try, + The spoils of _Flora_ to supply, + Or say my name's not GREGO--RY! + An _artificial_ Garland will I bring, + That _Clement Cottrell_ shall declare, + With courtly air, + Fit for a Prince--fit for a KING! + +Epode. + + Ye _millinery_ fair, + To me, ye Muses are; + Ye are to me _Parnassus_ MOUNT! + In you, I find an _Aganippe_ FOUNT! + I venerate your _muffs_, + I bow and kiss your _ruffs_. + Inspire me, O ye _Sisters_ of the _frill_, + And teach your votarist how to _quill_! + For oh!--'tis true indeed, + That he can scarcely read! + Teach him to _flounce_, and disregard all quippery, + As crapes and blonds, and such like frippery; + Teach him to _trim_ and _whip_ from side to side, + And _puff_ as long as puffing can be try'd. + In _crimping_ metaphor he'll dash on, + For _point_, you know, is out of fashion. + O crown with bay his tte, + _Delpini_, arbiter of fate! + Nor at the trite conceit let witlings sport. + A PAGE should be a _Dangler_ at the court. + + + + +_NUMBER XI._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MICHAEL ANGELO TAYLOR, ESQ. M. P. + +Only Son of SIR ROBERT TAYLOR, Knt. and late Sheriff--also Sub-Deputy, +Vice-Chairman to the Irish Committee, King's Counsel, and Welsh +Judge Elect, &c, &c. + +I. + Hail, all hail, thou natal day! + Hail the very half hour, I say, + On which great GEORGE was born! + Tho' scarcely fledg'd, I'll try my wing-- + And tho', alas! I cannot sing, + I'll _crow_ on this illustrious morn! + Sweet bird, that chirp'st the note of folly, + So pleasantry, so drolly!-- + Thee, oft the stable yards among, + I woo, and emulate thy song! + Thee, for my emblem still I choose! + Oh! with thy voice inspire a _Chicken of the Muse!_ + +II. + And thou, great Earl, ordain'd to sit + High arbiter of verse and wit, + Oh crown my wit with fame! + Such as it is, I prithee take it; + Or if thou can'st not find it, make it: + To me 'tis just the same. + Once a white wand, like thine, my father bore: + But now, alas! that white wand is no more! + Yet though his pow'r be fled, + Nor Bailiff wait his nod nor Gaoler; + Bright honour still adorns the head + Of my Papa, Sir _Robert Tayler!_ + Ah, might that honour on his son alight! + On this auspicious day + How my little heart would glow, + If, as I bend me low, + My gracious King wou'd say, + Arise, SIR MICHAEL ANGELO! + O happiest day, that brings the happiest Knight! + +III. + Thee, too, my _fluttering_ Muse invokes, + Thy guardian aid I beg. + Thou great ASSESSOR, fam'd for jokes, + For jokes of face and leg! + So may I oft thy stage-box grace, + (The first in beauty as in place) + And smile responsive to thy changeful face! + For say, renowned mimic, say, + Did e'er a merrier crowd obey + Thy laugh-provoking summons, + Than with fond glee, enraptur'd sit, + Whene'er with _undesigning wit_, + I entertain the Commons? + Lo! how I shine St. Stephen's boast! + There, first of _Chicks_, I rule the _roast_! + There I appear, + Pitt's _Chanticleer_. + The _Bantam Cock_ in opposition! + Or like a _hen_ + With watchful ken, + Sit close and hatch--the Irish propositions! + +IV. + Behold for this great day of pomp and pleasure, + The House adjourns, and I'm at leisure! + If _thou_ art so, come muse of sport, + With a few rhymes, + Delight the times, + And coax the Chamberlain, and charm the Court! + By Heaven she comes!--more swift than prose, + At her command, my metre flows; + Hence, ye weak warblers of the rival lays! + Avaunt, ye Wrens, ye Goslings, and ye Pies! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _win_ the prize! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _peck_ the bays! + So, when again the State deminds our care, + Fierce in my laurel'd pride, I'll take the chair!-- + GILBERT, I catch thy bright invention, + With somewhat more of _sound retention[1]!_ + But never, never on thy _prose_ I'll border-- + _Verse_, lofty-sounding _Verse_, shall "_Call to Order!_" + Come, sacred Nine, come one and all, + Attend your fav'rite Chairman's call! + Oh! if I well have chirp'd your brood among, + Point my keen eye, and tune my brazen tongue! + And hark! with Elegiac graces, + "I beg that gentlemen may take their places!" + Didactic Muse, be thine to state, + The rules that harmonize debate! + Thine, mighty CLIO, to resound from far, + "The door! the door!--the bar! the bar!" + Stout _Pearson_ damns around at her dread word;-- + "Sit down!" cries _Clementson_, and grasps his silver sword. + +V. + But lo! where Pitt appears to move + Some new resolve of hard digestion! + Wake then, my Muse, thy gentler notes of love, + And in persuasive numbers, "_put the Question._" + The question's gain'd!--the Treasury-Bench rejoice! + "All hail, thou _least_ of men" (they cry), with mighty voice! + --Blest sounds! my ravish'd eye surveys + Ideal Ermine, fancied Bays! + Wrapt in St. Stephens future scenes + I sit perpetual chairman of the _Ways and Means!_ + Cease, cease, ye Bricklayer crew, my sire to praise, + His mightier offspring claims immortal lays! + The father climb'd the ladder, with a hod; + The son, like _General Jackoo_, jumps alone, by God! + + +[1] No reflection on the organization of Mr. Gilbert's brain is +intended here; but rather a pathetic reflection an the continual +Diabetes of so great a Member! + + + + +_NUMBER XII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, M.P. &C. &C. + +I. + Why does the loitering sun retard his wain, + When this glad hour demands a fiercer ray? + Not so he pours his fire on Delhi's plain, + To hail the Lord of Asia's natal day. + There in mute pomp and cross-legg'd state, + The _Raja Pouts_ MAHOMMED SHAH await. + There _Malabar_, + There _Bisnagar_, + There _Oude_ and proud _Bahar_, in joy confederate. + +II. + Curs'd be the clime, and curs'd the laws, that lay + Insulting bonds on George's sovereign sway! + Arise, my soul, on wings of fire, + To God's anointed, tune the lyre; + Hail! George, thou all-accomplish'd King! + Just type of him who rules on high! + Hail inexhausted, boundless spring + Of sacred truth and Holy Majesty! + Grand is thy form--'bout five feet ten, + Thou well-built, worthiest, best of men! + Thy chest is stout, thy back is broad-- + Thy Pages view thee, and are aw'd! + Lo! how thy white eyes roll! + Thy whiter eye-brows stare! + Honest soul! + Thou'rt witty, as thou'rt fair! + +III. + North of the Drawing-room a closet stands: + The sacred nook, St James's Park commands! + Here, in sequester'd state, Great GEORGE receives + Memorials, treaties, and long lists of thieves! + Here all the force of sov'reign thought is bent, + To fix Reviews, or change a Government! + Heav'ns! how each word with joy _Caermarthen_ takes! + Gods! how the lengthen'd chin of _Sydney_ shakes! + Blessing and bless'd the sage associate see, + The proud triumphant league of incapacity. + With subtile smiles, + With innate wiles, + How do thy tricks of state, GREAT GEORGE, abound! + So in thy Hampton's mazy ground, + The path that wanders + In meanders, + Ever bending, + Never ending, + Winding runs the eternal round. + Perplex'd, involv'd, each thought bewilder'd moves; + In short, quick turns the gay confusion roves; + Contending themes the ernbarrass'd listener baulk, + Lost in the labyrinths of the devious talk! + +IV. + Now shall the levee's ease thy soul unbend, + Fatigu'd with Royalty's severer care! + Oh! happy few! whom brighter stars befriend, + Who catch the chat--the witty whisper share! + Methinks I hear + In accents clear, + Great Brunswick's voice still vibrate on my ear-- + "What?--what?--what? + Scott!--Scott!--Scott! + Hot!--hot!--hot! + What?--what!--what?" + Oh! fancy quick! oh! judgment true! + Oh! sacred oracle of regal taste! + So hasty, and so generous too! + Not one of all thy questions will an answer wait! + Vain, vain, oh Muse, thy feeble art, + To paint the beauties of that head and heart! + That heart where all the virtues join! + That head that hangs on many a sign! + +V. + Monarch of mighty _Albion_, check thy talk! + Behold the _Squad_ approach, led on by _Palk_! + _Smith, Barwelly, Cattt Vansittart_, form the band-- + Lord of Brirannia!--let them kiss thy hand!-- + For _sniff_[1]!--rich odours scent the sphere! + 'Tis Mrs. _Hastings_' self brings up the rear! + Gods! how her diamonds flock + On each unpowdere'd lock! + On every membrane see a topaz clings! + Behold her joints are fewer than her rings! + Illustrious dame! on either ear, + The _Munny Begums_' spoils appear! + Oh! Pitt, with awe behold that precious throat, + Whose necklace teems with many a future vote! + Pregnant with _Burgage_ gems each hand she rears; + And lo! depending _questions_ gleam upon her ears! + Take her, great George, and shake her by the hand; + 'Twill loose her jewels, and enrich thy land. + But oh! reserve one ring for an old stager; + The _ring_ of future marriage for her _Major_! + +[1] Sniff is a new interjection for the sense of smelling. + + + + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARRY DUNDAS, ESQ. +Treasurer of the Navy, &c. &c. &c. + +I. + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Ye lawland Bards! who' are ye aw! + What are your sangs? What aw your lair too boot? + Vain are your thowghts the prize to win, + Sae dight your gobs, and stint your senseless din; + Hoot! hoot awaw! hoot! hoot!---- + Put oot aw your Attic feires, + Burn your lutes, and brek your leyres; + A looder, and a looder note I'll strieke:---- + Na watter drawghts fra' Helicon I heed, + Na will I moont your winged steed-- + I'll moont the Hanoverian horse, and ride him whare I leike!-- + +II. + Ye lairdly fowk, wha form the courtly ring, + Coom, lend your lugs, and listen wheil I sing! + Ye canny maidens tee; wha aw the wheile, + Sa sweetly luik, sa sweetly smeile, + Coom hither aw, and round me thrang, + Wheil I tug oot my peips, and gi' ye aw a canty sang. + Weel faur his bonny bleithsome hairt! + Wha, gifted by the gods abuin, + Wi' meikle taste, and meikle airt, + Fairst garr'd his canny peipe to lilt a tune! + To the sweet whussel join'd the pleesan drane, + And made the poo'rs of music aw his ain. + On thee, on thee I caw--thou deathless spreight! + Doon frae thy thrane, abuin the lift sa breight; + Ah! smeile on me, instruct me hoo to chairm: + And, fou as is the baug beneath my arm, + Inspeire my saul, and geuide my tunesome tongue. + I feel, I feel thy poo'r divine! + Laurels! kest ye to the groond, + Aroond my heed, my country's pride I tweine-- + Sa sud a Scottish baird be croon'd-- + Sa sud gret GEOURGE be sung! + +III. + Fra hills, wi' heathers clad, that smeilan bluim + Speite o' the northern blaist; + Ye breether bairds, descend, and hither coom! + Let ilka ilka ane his baugpipe bring, + That soonds sa sweetly, and sa weel; + Sweet soonds! that please the lugs o' sic a king; + Lugs that in music's soonds ha' mickle taste. + Then, hither haste, and bring them aw, + Baith your muckle peipes and smaw; + Now, laddies! lood blaw up your chanters; + For, luik! whare, cled in claies sa leel. + Canny _Montrose_'s son leads on the ranters. + Thoo _Laird o' Graham!_ by manie a cheil ador'd, + Who boasts his native fillabeg restor'd; + I croon thee--maister o' the spowrt! + Bid thy breechless loons advaunce, + Weind the reel, and wave the daunce; + Noo they rant, and noo they loup, + And noo they shew their brawny doup, + And weel, I wat, they please the lasses o' the court, + Sa in the guid buik are we tauld, + Befoor the halie ark, + The guid King David, in the days of auld, + Daunc'd, like a wuid thing, in his sark, + Wheil Sion's dowghters ('tis wi' sham I speak't) + Aw heedless as he strack the sacred strain, + Keck'd, and lawgh'd, + And lawgh'd, and keck'd, + And lawgh'd, and keck'd again. + Scarce could they keep their watter at the seight, + Sa micke did the King their glowran eyne delight. + +IV. + Anewgh! anewgh! noo haud your haund! + And stint your spowrts awce: + Ken ye, whare clad in eastlan spoils sa brave, + O'ersheenan aw the lave; + He comes, he comes! + Aw hail! thoo Laird of pagodas and lacks! + Weel could I tell of aw thy mighty awks; + Fain wad my peipe, its loudest note, + My tongue, its wunsome poo'rs, devote, + To gratitude and thee; + To thee, the sweetest o' thy ain parfooms, + Orixa's preide sud blaze + On thee, thy gems of purest rays; + Back fra' this saund, their genuine feires sud shed, + And _Rumbold_'s Crawdle vie wuth _Hasting_'s Bed. + But heev'n betook us weil! and keep us weise! + Leike thunder, burstan at thy dreed command! + "Keep, keep thy tongue," a warlock cries, + And waves his gowden wand. + +V. + Noo, laddies! gi' your baugpipes breeth again; + Blaw the loo'd, but solemn, strain: + Thus wheil I hail with heart-felt pleasure, + In mejesty sedate, + In pride elate, + The smuith cheeks Laird of aw the treasure; + Onward he stalks in froonan state; + Na fuilish smiles his broos unbend, + Na wull he bleithsome luik on aw the lasses lend. + Hail to ye, lesser Lairds! of mickle wit; + Hail to ye aw, wha in weise council sit, + Fra' _Tommy Toonsend_ up to _Wully Pitt!_ + Weel faur your heeds! but noo na mair + To ye maun I the sang confeine: + To nobler fleights the muse expands her wing. + 'Tis he, whose eyne and wit sa breightly sheine, + 'Tis GEOURGE demands her care; + Breetons! boo down your heed, and hail your King! + See! where with Atlantean shoulder, + Amazing each beholder, + Beneath a tott'ring empire's weight. + Full six feet high he stands, and therefore--great! + +VI. + Come then, aw ye POO'rs of vairse! + Gi' me great GEOURGE's glories to rehearse; + And as I chaunt his kingly awks, + The list'nan warld fra me sall lairn + Hoo swuft he rides, hoo slow he walks, + And weel he gets his Queen wi' bairn. + Give me, with all a Laureat's art to jumble, + Thoughts that soothe, and words that rumble! + Wisdom and Empire, Brunswick's Royal line; + Fame, Honour, Glory, Majesty divine! + Thus, crooned by his lib'ral hand. + Give me to lead the choral band; + Then, in high-sounding words, and grand, + Aft sail peipe swell with his princely name, + And this eternal truth proclaim: + 'Tis GEOURGE, Imperial GEOURGE, who rules BRITANNIA's land! + + + + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ DR. JOSEPH WARTON, In humble Imitation of BROTHER THOMAS. + + O! For the breathings of the _Doric ote!_ + O! for the _warblings_ of the Lesbian _lyre!_ + O! for the Alcean trump's terrific note! + O! for the Theban eagle's wing of fire! + O! for each stop and string that swells th' Aonian quire! + Then should this hallow'd day in _worthy strains be sung_, + And with _due laurel wreaths_ thy cradle, Brunswick, _hung!_ + But tho' uncouth my numbers flow + --From a rude reed,-- + That drank the dew of Isis' lowly mead, + And _wild pipe_, fashion'd from the _embatted sedge_ + Which on the _twilight edge_ + Of my own Cherwell loves to grow: + The god-like theme alone + Should bear me on its _tow'ring wing_; + Bear me undaunted to the throne, + To view with fix'd and stedfast eye + --The delegated majesty + Of heav'ns dread lord, and what I see to sing. + Like heaven's dread lord, great George his voice can raise, + From babes and suckling's mouths to hymn his _perfect praise_, + _In poesy's trim rhymes_ and high _resounding phrase_. + _Hence, avaunt!_ ye savage train, + That drench the earth and dye the main + With the tides of hostle gore: + Who joy in _war's terrific charms_, + To see the steely gleam of arms, + And hear the cannon's roar; + Unknown the god-like virtue how to yield, + To Cressy's or to Blenheim's _deathful_ field; + Begone, and sate your Pagan thirst of blood; + Edward, fell homicide, awaits you there, + And Anna's hero, both unskill'd to spare + Whene'er the foe their slaught'ring sword withstood. + The pious George to _white-staled peace_ alone + His olive sceptre yields, and _palm-encircled throne_. + Or if his high degree + On the _perturbed sea_ + The bloody flag unfurls; + Or o'er the embattl'd plain + Ranges the martial train; + On other heads his bolts he hurls. + Haughty subjects, _wail and weep_, + Your angry master _ploughs the deep_. + Haughty subjects, swol'n with pride, + Tremble at his _vengeful_ stride. + While the regal command + Desp'rate ye withstand, + He bares his red right hand. + As when Eloim's pow'r, + In Judah's rebel hour, + Let fall the fiery show'r + That o'er her parch'd hills desolation spread, + And heap'd her vales with mountains of the dead. + O'er Schuylkill's _cliffs the tempest roars_; + O'er Rappahanock's recreant shores; + Up the _rough rocks of Kipps's-bay_; + The huge Anspachar _wins his way_; + _Or scares the falcon_ from the _fir-cap'd side_ + Of each high hill that hangs o'er Hudson's haughty tide. + Matchless victor, mighty lord! + Sheath the devouring sword! + Strong to punish, _mild to save_, + Close _the portals of the grave_, + Exert thy first prerogative, + Ah! spare thy subject's blood, and let them _live_; + Our _tributary breath_, + Hangs on thine for life or death. + Sweet is the balmy breath of orient morn, + Sweet are the horned treasures of the bee; + Sweet is the fragrance of the scented thorn, + But sweeter yet the voice of royal clemency. + He hears, and from his _wisdom's perfect day_ + He sends a bright effulgent ray, + The nations _to illumine far and wide_, + And feud and discord, war and _strife, subside_. + His moral sages, _all unknown_ t'untie + The wily rage of human policy, + Their equal compasses expand, + And mete the globe with philosophic hand. + No partial love of country binds + In selfish chains the lib'ral minds, + O gentle Lansdown! ting'd with thy philanthropy, + Let other monarchs vainly boast + A lengthen'd line of conquer'd coast, + Or boundless sea of tributary flood, + Bought by as wide a sea of blood---- + Brunswick, in more _saint-like guise_ + Claims for his spoils a purer prize, + Content at every price to buy + A conquest o'er himself, and o'er his progeny. + His be _domestic glory's radient calm_---- + His be _the sceptre wreath'd with many a palm_---- + His be _the throne with peaceful emblems hung_, + And mine die laurel'd lyre, _to those mild conquests strung!_ + + + + +_NUMBER XV._ + +PINDARIC, + +_By_ the RIGHT HON. HERVEY REDMOND, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +Of Castle Morres, of the Kingdom of Ireland, &c. &c. + +I. + Awake, Hibernian lyre, awake, + To harmony thy strings attune, + O _tache_ their trembling tongue to _spake_ + The glories of the fourth of June. + Auspicious morn! + When George was born + To grace (by deputy) our Irish throne, + North, south, _aiste_, west, + Of Kings the best, + Sure now he's _a_quall'd by himself alone; + Throughout the astonish'd globe so loud his fame shall ring, + The d_i_f themselves shall _hare_ the strains the dumb shall sing. + +II. + Sons of Fadruig[1], strain your throats, + In your native Irish lays, + Swe_a_ter than the scre_a_ch owl's notes, + Howl aloud your sov'reign's praise, + Quick to his hallow'd fane be led + A milk-white BULL, on soft potatoes fed: + His curling horns and ample neck + Let wreaths of verdant shamrock deck, + And perfum'd flames, to _rache_ the sky, + Let fuel from our bogs supply, + Whilst we to George's health, _a_'en till the bowl runs o'er + Rich _strames_ of usquebaugh and sparkling whiskey pour. + +III. + Of d_i_thless fame immortal heirs, + A brave and patriotic band, + Mark where Ierne's Volunt_a_res, + Array'd in bright disorder stand. + The Lawyer's corps, red fac'd with black, + Here drive the martial merchants back; + Here Sligo's bold brigade advance, + There Lim'rick legions sound their drum; + Here Gallway's gallant squadrons prance, + And Cork Invincibles are overcome! + The Union firm of Coleraine, + Are scatter'd o'er the warlike plain, + While Tipperary infantry pursues + The Clognikelty horse, and Ballyshannon blues. + Full fifty thousand men we shew + All in our Irish manufactures clad, + Wh_a_ling, manoeuv'ring to and fro, + And marching up and down like mad. + In fr_a_dom's holy cause they bellow, rant, and rave, + And scorn thems_i_lves to know what they thems_i_lves would have! + Ah! should renowned Brunswick chuse, + (The warlike monarch loves reviews) + To see th_a_se h_a_roes in our Ph_a_nix fight, + Once more, amidst a wond'ring crowd, + The enraptur'd prince might cry aloud, + "Oh! Amherst, what a h_i_venly sight[2]!" + The loyal crowd with shouts should r_i_nd the skies, + To _hare_ their sov'reign make a sp_aa_ch so wise! + +IV. + Th_a_se were the bands, 'mid tempests foul, + Who taught their master, somewhat loth, + To grant (Lord love his lib'ral soul!) + Commerce and constitution both. + Now p_a_ce restor'd, + This gracious lord + Would _tache_ them, as the scriptures say, + At _laiste_, that if + The Lord doth give, + The Lord doth likewise take away. + Fr_a_dom like this who _i_ver saw? + We will, henceforth, for _i_ver more, + Be after making _i_v'ry law, + Great Britain shall have made before[3]. + +V. + Hence, loath'd Monopoly, + Of Av'rice foul, and Navigation bred, + In the drear gloom + Of British Custom-house Long-room, + 'Mongst cockets, clearances, and bonds unholy, + Hide thy detested head. + But come, thou goddess fair and free, + Hibernian reciprocity! + (Which _manes_, if right I take the plan, + Or _i_lse the tr_a_ity d_i_vil burn! + To get from England all we can; + And give her nothing in return!) + Thee, JENKY, skill'd in courtly lore, + To the _swate_ lipp'd William bore, + He Chatham's son (in George's reign + Such mixture was not held a stain), + Of garish day-light's eye afraid, + Through the postern-gate convey'd; + In close and midnight cabinet, + Oft the secret lovers met. + Haste thee, nymph, and quick bring o'er + Commerce, from Britannia's shore; + Manufactures, arts, and skill, + Such as may our pockets fill. + And, with thy left hand, gain by stealth, + Half our sister's envied wealth, + Till our island shall become + Trade's compl_a_te imporium[4]. + Th_a_se joys, if reciprocity can give, + Goddess with thee h_i_nceforth let Paddy live! + +VI. + Next to great George be peerless Billy sung:-- + Hark! he _spakes!_ his mouth his opes! + Phrases, periods, figures, tropes, + _Strame_ from his mellifluous tongue-- + Oh! had he crown'd his humble suppliant's hopes? + And given him near his much-lov'd Pitt, + Beyond the limits of the bar to sit, + How with his praises had St. Stephen's rung! + Though Pompey boast not all his patron's pow'rs, + Yet oft have kind Hibernia's Peers + To r_a_de his sp_aa_ches lent their ears: + So in the Senate, had his tongue, for hours. + Foremost, amid the youthful yelping pack, + That crow and cackle at the Premier's back, + A flow of Irish rhetoric let loose, + Beneath the _Chicken_ scarce, and far above the _Goose_. + + +[1] Ancient Irish name given to St. Patrick. + +[2] The celebrated speech of a Great Personage, on reviewing the +camp at Cox-heath, in the year 1779, when a French invasion was +apprehended; the report of which animating apostrophe is supposed +to have struck such terror into the breasts of our enemies, as to +have been the true occasion of their relinquishing the design. + +[3] Vide the Fourth Proposition. + +[4] Vide Mr. Orde's speech. + + + + +_NUMBER XVI._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ EDWARD LORD THURLOW, Lord High Chancellor of Great-Britain. + +I. + Damnation seize ye all, + Who puff, who thrum, who bawl and squall! + Fir'd with ambitious hopes in vain, + The wreath, that blooms for other brows to gain; + Is THURLOW yet so little known?-- + By G--d I swore, while GEORGE shall reign, + The seals, in spite of changes, to retain, + Nor quit the Woolsack till he quits the Throne! + And now, the Bays for life to wear, + Once more, with mightier oaths, by G--d I swear! + Bend my black brows that keep the Peers in awe, + Shake my full-bottom wig, and give the nod of law. + +II. + What [1] tho' more sluggish than a toad, + Squat in the bottom of a well, + I too, my gracious Sov'reign's worth to tell, + Will rouse my torpid genius to an Ode! + The toad a jewel in his head contains-- + Prove we the rich production of my brains! + Nor will I court, with humble plea, + Th' _Aonian_ Maids to inspire my wit: + One mortal girl is worth the _Nine_ to me;-- + The prudes of _Pindus_ I resign to _Pitt_. + His be the classic art, which I despise:-- + THURLOW on Nature, and himself relies. + +III. + 'Tis mine _to keep the conscience of the King_; + To me, each secret of his heart is shown: + Who then, like me, shall hope to sing + Virtues, to all but me, unknown? + Say who, like me, shall win belief + To tales of his paternal grief, + When civil rage with slaughter dy'd + The plains beyond th' Atlantic tide? + Who can, like me, his joy attest, + Though little joy his looks confest, + When Peace, at _Conway_'s call restor'd, + Bade kindred nations sheathe the sword? + How pleas'd he gave his people's wishes way, + And turn'd out _North_, when _North_ refus'd to stay! + How in their sorrows sharing too, unseen, + For _Rockingham_ he mourn'd, at _Windsor_ with the Queen! + +IV. + His bounty, too, be mine to praise, + Myself th' example of my lays, + A _Teller_ in reversion I; + And unimpair'd I vindicate my place, + The chosen subject of peculiar grace, + Hallow'd from hands of _Burke_'s economy: + For [2] so his royal word my Sovereign gave; + And sacred here I found that _word_ alone, + When not his Grandsire's _Patent_, and his own, + To _Cardiff_, and to _Sondes_, their posts could save. + Nor should this chastity be here unsung, + That chastity, above his glory dear; + [3]But _Hervey_ frowning, pulls my ear, + Such praise, she swears, were satire from my tongue. + +V. + Fir'd at her voice, I grow prophane, + A louder yet, and yet a louder strain! + To THURLOW's lyre more daring notes belong. + Now tremble every rebel soul! + While on the foes of George I roll + The deep-ton'd execrations of my song. + In vain my brother's piety, more meek, + Would preach my kindling fury to repose; + Like _Balaam_'s ass, were he inspir'd to speak, + 'Twere vain! resolved I go to curse my Prince's foes. + +VI. + "Begin! Begin!" fierce _Hervey_ cries, + See! the _Whigs_, how they rise! + What petitions present! + How _teize_ and _torment_! + D--mn their bloods, s--mn their hearts, d--mn their eyes. + Behold yon sober band + Each his notes in his hand; + The witnesses they, whom I brow-beat in vain; + Unconfus'd they remain. + Oh! d--mn their bloods again; + Give the curses due + To the factious crew! + Lo! _Wedgewood_ too waves his [4]_Pitt-pots_ on high! + Lo! he points, where the bottom's yet dry, + The _visage immaculate_ bear; + Be _Wedgewood_ d--mn'd, and double d--mn'd his ware. + D--mn _Fox_, and d--mn _North_; + D--mn _Portland_'s mild worth; + D--mn _Devon_ the good, + Double d--mn all his name; + D--mn _Fitzwilliam_'s blood, + Heir of _Rockingham_'s fame; + D--mn _Sheridan_'s wit, + The terror of _Pitt_; + D--mn _Loughb'rough_, my plague--wou'd his _bagpipe_ were split! + D--mn _Derby_'s long scroll, + Fill'd with names to the brims: + D--mn his limbs, d--mn his soul, + D--mn his soul, d--mn his limbs! + With _Stormont_'s curs'd din, + Hark! _Carlisle_ chimes in; + D--mn _them_; d--mn all their partners of their sin; + D--mn them, beyond what mortal tongue can tell; + Confound, sink, plunge them all to deepest, blackest Hell! + + +[1] This simile of myself I made the other day, coming out of +Westminster Abbey. Lord _Uxbridge_ heard it. I think, however, +that I have improved it here, by the turn which follows. + +[2] I cannot here with-hold my particular acknowledgments to my +virtuous young friend, Mr. Pitt, for the noble manner in which +he contended, on the subject of my reversion, that the most religious +observance must be paid to the _Royal promise_. As I am personally +the more obliged to him, as in the case of the _Auditors of the +Imprest_ the other day, he did not think it necessary to shew any +regard whatever to a _Royal Patent_. + +[3] I originally wrote this line, + But _Hervey_ frowning, as she hears, &c. +It was altered as it now standsj by my d--mn'd Bishop of a brother, +for the sake of an allusion to _Virgil_. + ------Cynthius _aurem + Velit, et admonuit._ + +[4] I am told, that a scoundrel of a Potter, one Mr. _Wedgewood_, is +making 10,000 vile utensils, with a figure of Mr. Pitt in the bottom; +round the head is to be a motto, + We will spit, + On Mr. _Pitt_, +And _other such_ d--mn'd ryhmes, suited to the uses of the different +vessels. + + + + +_NUMBER XVII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE FOR MUSIC, + +BY THE REV. DR. PRETTYMAN. + +_The Notes (except those wherein Latin is concerned) by_ JOHN +ROBINSON, _Esq._ + +RECITATIVE, _by Double Voices._ + [1]Hail to the LYAR! whose all-persuasive strain, + Wak'd by the master-touch of art, + And prompted by th' inventive brain, + [2]Winds its sly way into the easy heart. + +SOLO. + [3]Hark! do I hear the golden tone?-- + Responsive now! and now alone! + Or does my fancy rove? + Reason-born Conviction, hence! + [4]And phrenzy-rapt be ev'ry sense, + With the _Untruth_ I love. + Propitious Fiction aid the song; + Poet and Priest to thee belong. + +SEMI-CHORUS. + [5]By thee inspir'd, ere yet the tongue was glib, + The cradled infant lisp'd the nurs'ry fib; + Thy vot'ry in maturer youth, + Pleas'd, he renounc'd the name of truth; + And often dar'd the specious to defy, + Proud of th' expansive, bold, uncover'd lie. + +AIR. + Propitious FICTION, hear! + And smile, as erst thy father smil'd + Upon his first-born child, + Thy sister dear; + When the nether shades among, + [6]Sin from his forehead sprung. + +FULL CHORUS. + Grand deluder! arch impostor! + Countervailing _Orde_ and _Foster_! + Renoun'd Divine! + The palm is thine: + Be thy name or sung or _hist_, + Alone it stands--CONSPICUOUS FABULIST! + +RECITATIVE _for the celebrated Female Singer from Manchester. +Symphony of Flutes--pianissimo._ + + Now in cotton robe array'd, + Poor Manufacture, tax-lamenting maid, + Thy story heard by her devoted wheel, + Each busy-sounding spindle hush'd-- + +FUGUE. + Now, dreading Irish rape, + Quick shifting voice and shape-- + +DEEP BASS, _from Birmingham._ + With visage hard, and furnace flush'd, + And black-hair'd chest, and nerve of steel, + The sex-chang'd listner stood + In surly pensive mood. + +AIR, _accompanied with double Bassoons, &c._ + While the promise-maker spoke + The anvil miss'd the wonted stroke; + In air suspended hammers hung, + While _Pitt_'s own frauds came mended from that tongue. + +PART OF CHORUS REPEATED. + Renown'd Divine, &c. + +AIR. + Sooth'd with the sound the Priest grew vain, + And all his tales told o'er again, + And added hundreds more; + By turns to this, or that, or both, + He gave the sanction of an oath, + And then the whole forswore. + "Truth," he sung, "was toil and trouble, + Honour but an empty bubble"-- + _Glo'ster_'s aged--_London_ dying-- + Poor, too poor, is simple lying! + If the lawn be worth thy wearing, + Win, oh! win it, by thy swearing! + +FULL CHORUS REPEATED. + Grand deluder! arch-impostor, &c.[7] + +PART II. + +RECITATIVE _accompanied_. + Enough the parents praise--see of Deceit + The fairer progeny ascends! + _Evasion_, nymph of agile feet, + With half-veil'd face; + _Profession_, whispering accents sweet + And many a kindred _Fraud_ attends; + Mutely dealing courtly wiles, + Fav'ring nods, and hope-fraught smiles, + A fond, amusive, tutelary race, + That guard the home-pledg'd faith of Kings-- + Or flitting, light, on paper wings; + Speed Eastern guile across this earthly ball, + And waft it back from _Windsor_ to _Bengal_. + But chiefly thee I woo, of changeful eye, + In courts y'clept _Duplicity!_ + Thy fond looks on mine imprinting, + Vulgar mortals call it squinting-- + Baby, of Art and Int'rest bred, } + Whom, stealing to the back-stairs head } + in fondling arms--with cautious tread, } + [8]Wrinkle-twinkle _Jenky_ bore, + To the baize-lin'd closet door. + +AIR. + Sweet nymph, that liv'st unseen + Within that lov'd recess-- + Save when the Closet Councils press, + And junto's speak the thing they mean; + Tell me, ever-busy power, + Where shall I trace thee in that vacant hour? + Art thou content, in the sequester'd grove, + To play with hearts and vows of love! + Or emulous of prouder sway, + Dost thou to list'ning Senates take thy way? + Thy presence let me still enjoy, + With _Rose_, and the lie-loving boy. + +AIR. + [9]No rogue that goes + Is like that _Rose_, + Or scatters such deceit: + Come to my breast-- + There ever rest + Associate counterfeit! + +_PART III._ + +LOUD SYMPHONY. + But lo! what throngs of rival bards! + More lofty themes! more bright rewards! + See Sal'sbury, a new Apollo sit! + Pattern and arbiter of wit! + The laureate wreathe hangs graceful from his wand; + Begin! he cries, and waves his whiter hand. + 'Tis _George_'s natal day-- + Parnassian Pegassus away-- + Grant me the more glorious steed + Of royal _Brunswick_ breed[10]---- + I kneel, I kneel; + And at his snowy heel, + Pindarick homage vow;-- + He neighs; he bounds; I mount, I fly-- + The air-drawn crosier in my eye, + The visionary mitre on my brow-- + Spirit of hierarchy exalt thy rhyme, + And dedicate to George the lie sublime. + +AIR _for a Bishop._ + [11]Hither, brethren, incense bring, + To the mitre-giving king; + Praise him for his first donations; } + Praise him for his blest translations, } + Benefices, dispensations. } + By the powers of a crown; + By the many made for one; + By a monarch's awful distance, + Rights divine, and non-resistance, + Honour, triumph, glory give-- + Praise him in his might! + Praise him in his height! + The mighty, mighty height of his prerogative! + +RECITATIVE _by an Archbishop._ + Orchestras, of thousands strong, + With Zadoc's zeal each note prolong-- + Prepare! + Prepare! + _Bates_ gives the animating nod-- + Sudden they strike--unnumber'd strings + Vibrate to the best of Kings-- + Eunuchs, Stentors, double basses, + Lab'ring lungs, inflated faces, + Bellows working, + Elbows jerking, + Scraping, beating, + Roaring, Sweating. + Thro' the old Gothic roofs be the chorus rebounded, + 'Till Echo is deafen'd, and thunder dumb-founded: + And now another pause--and now another nod + --All proclaim a present God! + [12]_Bishops and Lords of the Bedchamber_, + George submissive Britain sways; + _Heavy_ Hanover obeys. + Proud Ierne's volunteers, + Abject Commons, prostrate Peers-- + All proclaim a present God-- + (On the necks of all he trod) + A present God! + A present God! + _Hallelujah!_ + + + +[1] Hail to the LYAR!] It was suggested to me, that my friend +the Doctor had here followed the example of Voltaire, in deviating +from common orthography.--_Lyar_, instead of _Lyre_, he conceives to +be a reading of peculiar elegance in the present instance, as it +puts the reader in suspence between an inanimate and a living +instrument. However, for my own part, I am rather of opinion, +that this seeming mis-spelling arose from the Doctor's following +the same well-known circumspection which he exercised in the case +of Mr. Wedgewood, and declining to give his Ode _under his hand_; +preferring to repeat it to Mr. Delpini's Amanuensis, who very +probably may have committed that, and similar errors in orthography. + +[2] Winds its sly way, &c.] A line taken in great part from Milton. +The whole passage (which it may not be unpleasing to recall to +the recollection of the reader) has been closely imitated by +my friend Prettyman, in a former work. + "I, under fair pretence of friendly ends, + And well-placed words of glozing courtesy, + Baited with reasons not unplausible, + _Wind me into the easy-hearted man,_ + And hug him into snares." COMUS. + +[3] Golden tone, &c.] The epithet may seem at first more proper +for the instrument, but it applies here with great propriety to +the sound. In the strictest-sense, what is golden sound but the sound +of gold? and what could arise more naturally in the writer's mind +upon the present occasion? + +[4] Phrenzy-rapt, &c.] Auditis? An me ludit amabilis + Insania?---- + +[5] By thee inspir'd, &c.] In the first manuscript: + "While yet a cradled child, he conquer'd shame, + And lisp'd in fables, for the fables came." See POPE. + +[6] Sin from his forehead sprung.] + "A goddess armed + Out of thy head I sprung." + See MILTON's Birth of Sin. + +[7] The quick transition of persons must have struck the reader in the +first part of this Ode, and it will be observable throughout: Now +Poet, now Muse, now Chorus; then Spinner, Blacksmith, &c. &c. The +Doctor, skips from point to point over Parnassus, with a nimbleness +that no modern imitator of Pindar ever equalled.--Catch him, even +under a momentary shape, who can. I was always an admirer of +tergiversation (and as my flatterers might say), no bad practitioner; +but it remained for my friend to shew the sublimity to which the +figure lam alluding to (I do not know the learned name of it) might be +carried. + +[8] Wrinkle-twinkle, &c.] It must have been already observed by +the sagacious reader, that our author can coin an epithet as well +as a fable. Wrinkles are as frequently produced by the motion of +the part as by the advance of age. The head of the distinguished +personage here described, though in the prime of his faculties, +he had more exercise in every sense than any head in the world. +Whether he means any illusion to the worship of the rising sun, +and imitates the Persian priests, whose grand act of devotion is +to turn round; or whether he merely thinks that the working of +the head in circles will give analogous effect to the species +of argument in which he excels, we must remain in the dark; but +certain it is, that whenever he reasons in public, the _capital_ +and wonderful part of the frame I am alluding to, is continually +revolving upon its axis: and his eyes, as if dazzled with rays +that dart on him exclusively, twinkle in their orbs at the rate +of sixty twinks to one revolution. I trust I have given a rational +account, and not far-fetched, both of the wrinkle and twinkle in +this ingenious compound. + +[9] No rogue that goes, &c.] The candid reader will put no improper +interpretation on the word rogue. Pretty rogue, dear rogue, &c. +are terms of endearment to one sex; pleasant rogue, witty rogue, +apply as familiar compliments to the other: Indeed _facetious rogue_ +is the common table appellation of this gentleman in Downing-street. + +[10] It will be observed by the attentive reader, that the thought +of mounting the Hanoverian Horse, as a Pegasus, has been employed +by Mr. Dundas, in his Ode preserved in this collection. It is true, +the Doctor has taken the reins out of his hands, as it was time +somebody should do. But I hereby forewarn the vulgar Critic, from +the poor joke of making the Doctor a horse-stealer. + +[11] Hither, brethren, &c.] When this Ode is performed in Westminster +Abbey (as doubtless it will be) this Air is designed for the Reverend, +or rather the Right Reverend Author. The numerous bench (for there +will hardly be more than three absentees) who will begin to chaunt +the subsequent chorus from their box at the right hand of his most +sacred Majesty, will have fine effect both on the ear and eye. + +[12] Lords of the bed-chamber, &c.] Candour obliges us to confess, +that this designation of the performers, and in truth the following +stanza, did not stand in the original copy, delivered into the +Lord Chamberlain's Office. Indeed, Signor Delpini had his doubts +as to the legality of admitting it, notwithstanding Mr. Rose's +testimony, that it was actually and _bona fide_ composed with the rest +of the Ode, and had only accidentally fallen into the same drawer +of Mr. Pitt's bureau in which he had lately mislaid Mr. Gibbins's +note. Mr. Banks's testimony was also solicited to the same effect; +but he had left off vouching for the present session. Mr. Pepper +Arden, indeed, with the most intrepid liberality, engaged to find +authority for it in the statutes at large; on which Signor Delpini, +with his usual terseness of repartee, instantly exclaimed, Ha! ha! ha! +However, the difficulty was at length obviated by an observation of +the noble Lord who presided, that in the case of the King versus +Arkinson, the House of Lords had established the right: of judges +to amend a record, as Mr. Quarme had informed his Lordship +immediately after his having voted for that decision. + _Here end Mr. Robinson's notes._ + "A present God, + Heavy Hanover, + Abject Commons," &c. + The imitation will be obvious to the classical reader, + ------Prsens divus habebitur + Augustus, _ab_jectis Britannis, + Imperio, _gravibusque_ Persis. HOR. +All the editors of Horace have hitherto read _ad_jectis Britannis. +Our author, as sound a critic as a divine, _suo periculo_, makes +the alteration of a single letter, and thereby gives a new and +peculiar force to the application of the passage.----N.B. _Abject_, +in the author's understanding of the word, means that precise degree +of submission due from a free people to monarchy. It is further worthy +remark, that Horace wrote the Ode alluded to; before Britain was +subjected to absolute sway; and consequently the passage was meant as +a prophetic compliment to Augustus. Those who do not think that +Britain is yet sufficiently _abject_, will regard the imitation in the +same light. We shall close this subject by observing, how much better +GRAVIBUS applies in the imitation than in the original; and how well +the untruth of Ierne's volunteers joining in the deification, +exemplifies the dedicatory address of the lie SUBLIME! + + + + +_NUMBER XVIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ MARQUIS OF GRAHAM. + +I. + Help! help! I say, Apollo! + To you I call, to you I hollo; + My Muse would fain bring forth; + God of Midwives come along + Bring into light my little song, + See how its parent labours with the birth; + My brain! my brain! + What horrid pain; + Come, now prithee come, I say: } + Nay, if you won't, then stay away-- } + Without thy help, I've sung full many a lay. } + +II. + To lighter themes let other bards resort; + My verse shall tell the glories of the Court. + Behold the Pensioners, a martial band; + Dreadful, with rusty battle-axe in hand-- + Quarterly and daily waiters, + A lustier troop, ye brave Beefeaters, + Sweepers, Marshals, Wardrobe brushers, + Patrician, and Plebeian ushers; + Ye too, who watch in inner rooms; + Ye Lords, ye Gentlemen, and Grooms; + Oh! careful guard your royal Master's slumber, + Lest factious flies his sacred face incumber. + But ah! how weak my song! + Crouds still on crouds impetuous rush along, + I see, I see, the motly group appear, + Thurlow in front, and Chandos in the rear; + Each takes the path his various genius guides-- + O'er Cabinets _this_, and _that_ o'er Cooks presides! + +III. + Hail! too, ye beds, where, when his labour closes, + With ponderous limbs great CINCINNATUS doses! + Oh! say what fate the Arcadian King betides + When playful Mab his wandering fancy guides, + Perhaps he views his HOWARD's wit + Make SHERIDAN submissive sit; + Perhaps o'er foes he conquest reaps: + Perhaps some ditch he dauntless leaps; + Now shears his people, now his mutton; + Now makes a Peer, and now a button. + Now mightier themes demand his care; + HASTINGS for assistance flies; + Bulses glittering skim the air; + Hands unstretch'd would grasp the prize, + But no diamond they find there; + For awak'd, by amorous pat, + Good lack! his gentle CHARLOTTE cries, + What would your Majesty be at? + The endearing question kindles fierce desire, + And all the monarch owns the lover's fire; + The pious King fulfils the heav'nly plan, + And little annual BRUNSWICKS speak the mighty man! + +IV. + At Pimlico an ancient structure stands, + Where Sheffield erst, but Brunswick now commands; + Crown'd with a weathercock that points at will, + To every part but Constitution-hill-- + Hence Brunswick, peeping at the windows, + Each star-light night, + Looks with delight, + And sees unseen, + And tells the Queen, + What each who passes out or in, does, + Hence too, when eas'd of Faction's dread, + With joys surveys, + The cattle graze, + At half a crown a head-- + Views the canal's transparent flood, + Now fill'd with water, now with mud; + Where various seasons, various charms create, + Dogs in the summer swim, and boys in winter skait. + +V. + Oh! for the pencil of a Claud Lorrain, + Apelles, Austin, Sayer, or Luke the saint-- + What glowing scenes;--but ah! the grant were vain, + I know not how to paint---- + Hail! Royal Park! what various charms are thine-- + Thy patent lamps pale Cynthia's rays outshine-- + Thy limes and elms with grace majestic grow, + All in a row; + Thy Mall's smooth walk, and sacred road beside, + Where Treasury Lords by Royal Mandate ride. + Hark! the merry fife and drum: + Hark! of beaus the busy hum; + While in the gloom of evening shade, + Gay wood-nymphs ply their wanton trade; + Ah! nymphs too kind, each vain pursuit give o'er-- + If Death should call--you then can walk no more! + See the children rang'd on benches; + See the pretty nursery wenches; + The cows, secur'd by halters, stand, + Courting the ruddy milk-maid's hand. + Ill-fated cows, when all your milk they've ta'en, + At Smithfield sold, you'll fatten'd be and slain.-- + +VI. + Muse, raise thine eyes and quick behold, + The Treasury-office fill'd with gold; + Where Elliot, Pitt, and I, each day } + The tedious moments pass away, } + In business now, and now in play---- } + The gay Horse-guards, whose clock of mighty fame, + Directs the dinner of each careful dame, + Where soldiers with red coats equipp'd, + Are sometimes march'd, and sometimes whipp'd. + Let them not doubt---- + 'Twas heav'n's eternal plan + That perfect bliss should ne'er be known to man. + Thus Ministers, are in--are out, + Turn and turn about---- + Even Pitt himself may lose his place, } + Or thou, Delpini, sovereign of grimace, } + Thou, too, by some false step, may'st meet disgrace. } + +VII. + Ye feather'd choristers, your voices tune, + 'Tis now, or near the fourth of June; + All nature smiles--the day of Brunswick's birth + Destroy'd the iron-age, and made an heav'n on earth. + Men and beasts his name repeating, + Courtiers talking, calves a-bleating; + Horses neighing, + Asses braying, + Sheep, hogs, and geese, with tuneful voices sing, + All praise their King, + George the Third, the Great, the Good. + France and Spain his anger rue; + Americans, he conquer'd you, + Or would have done it if he cou'd. + And 'midst the general loyal note, + Shall not his _gosling_ tune his throat; + Then let me join the jocund hand, + Crown'd with laurel let me stand; + My grateful voice shall their's as far exceed, + As the two-legg'd excels the base four-footed breed. + + + + +_NUMBER XIX._ + +LETTER FROM THE RT. HON. LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +TO THE EARL OF SALISBURY. + +MY LORD, +Being informed from undoubted authority, that the learned _Pierot_, +whom your Lordship has thought proper to nominate to the dignity +of your Assessor, knows no language but his own, it seemed to me +probable he might not understand _Irish_.--Now as I recollect my +last Ode to have proceeded on the orthography of that kingdom, +I thought his entire ignorance of the tongue might perhaps be some +hindrance to his judgment, upon its merit. On account of this +unhappy ignorance, therefore, on the part of the worthy _Buffo_, +of any language but _Italian_, I have taken the liberty to present +your Lordship and him with a second Ode, written in _English_; +which I hope he will find no difficulty in understanding, and which +certainly has the better chance of being perfectly correct in the +true English idiom, as it has been very carefully revised and +altered by my worthy friend, Mr. _Henry Dundas_. + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship's devoted servant, + MOUNTMORRES. + + * * * * * + +ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARVEY REDMOND MORRES, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND, &c. + +I. + Ye gentle Nymphs, who rule the Song, + Who stray _Thessalian_ groves among, + With forms so bright and airy; + Whether you pierce _Pierian_ shades, } + Or, less refin'd, adorn the glades, } + And wanton with the lusty blades } + Of fruitful _Tipperary_; + Whether you sip Aonias' wave, + Or in thy stream, fair _Liffy_, lave; + Whether you taste ambrosial food; + Or think _potatoes_ quite as good, + Oh, listen to an _Irish_ Peer, + Who has woo'd your sex for many a year. + +II. + _Gold!_--thou bright benignant pow'r! + Parent of the jocund hour, + Say, how my breast has heav'd with many a storm, + When thee I worship'd in a _female_ form! + Thou, whose high and potent skill, + Turns things and persons at thy will! + Thou, whose omnipotent decree, + Mighty as Fate's eternal rule, + Can make a wise man of a fool, + And grace e'en loath'd deformity: + Can straitness give to her that's crook'd, + And _Grecian_ grace to nose that's hook'd; + Can smooth the mount on _Laura_'s back, + And wit supply to those that lack: + Say, and take pity on my woes, + Record my throbs, recount my throes; + How oft I sigh'd, + How oft I dy'd: + How oft dismiss'd, + How seldom kiss'd; + How oft, fair _Phyllida_, when thee I woo'd + With cautious foresight all thy charms I view'd. + O'er many a sod, + How oft I trod, + To count thy acres o'er; + Or spent my time, + For marle or lime, + With anxious zeal to bore[1]! + How _Cupid_ then all great and powerful sate, + Perch'd on the vantage of a rich estate; + When, for his darts, he us'd fair spreading trees, + Ah! _who_ cou'd fail that shot with shafts like these! + +III. + Oh, sad example of capricious Fate! + Sue _Irishmen_ in vain! + Does _Pompey_'s self, the proud, the great, + Fail e'en a maid to gain? + What boots my form so tall and slim, + My legs so stout--my beard so grim? + Why have I _Alexander_'s bend? + Emblem of conquest never gain'd! + A nose so long--a back so strait-- + A chairman's mien--a chairman's gait? + Why wasted ink to make orations? + Design'd to teach unlist'ning nations! + Why have I view'd th' ideal clock[2], + Or mourn'd the visionary hour? + Griev'd to behold with well-bred shock, + The fancy'd pointer verge _to four?_ + Then with a bow, proceed to beg, + A general pardon on my leg-- + "Lament that to an hour so late," + "'Twas mine to urge the grave debate!" + "Or mourn the rest, untimely broken!" + All this to say--all this to do, + In form so native, neat, and new, + In speech _intended_ to be spoken!-- + But fruitless all, for neither here or there, + My _leg_ has yet obtain'd me _place_, or _fair!_ + +IV. + _Pompeys_ there are of every shape and size: + Some are the Great, y-clep'd, and some the Little, + Some with their deeds that fill the wond'ring skies, + And some on ladies' laps that eat their vittle! + 'Tis _Morres_' boast--'tis _Morres_' pride, + To be to both ally'd! + That of all various _Pompeys_, he + Forms one complete _epitome_! + Prepar'd alike fierce Faction's host to fight, + Or, thankful, stoop _official crumbs_ to bite-- + No equal to himself on earth to own; + Or watch, with anxious eye, on _Treasury-bone!_ + As Rome's fam'd chief, imperious, stiff, and proud; + Fawning as curs, when supplicating food! + In him their several virtues all reside, + The peerless Puppy, and of Peers the pride! + +V. + Say, Critic _Buffo_, will not powers like these, + E'en thy refin'd fastidious judgment please? + A common _butt_ to all mankind, + 'Tis my hard lot to be; + O let me then some justice find, + And give the BUTT to me! + Then dearest DE'L, + Thy praise I'll tell, + And with _unprostituted_ pen. + In _Warton_'s pure and modest strain, + Unwarp'd by Hope--unmov'd by Gain, + I'll call the "best of husbands," and "most chaste of men!" + Then from my pristine labours I'll relax: + _Then will I lay the Tree unto the [3]Axe!_ + Of all my former grief-- + Resign the bus'ness of the anxious chace, + And for past failures, and for past disgrace, + Here find a snug relief! + The vain pursuit of female game give o'er, + And, hound of _Fortune_, scour the town no more! + + +[1] When Lord Mountmorres went down into the country, some years +ago; to pay his addresses to a lady of large fortune, whose name +we forbear to mention, his Lordship took up his abode for several +days in a small public-house in the neighbourhood of her residence, +and employed his time in making all proper enquiries, and prudent +observation upon the nature, extent, and value of her property:--he +was seen measuring the trees with his eye, and was at last found in +the act of boring for marle; when being roughly interrogated by one +of the ladie's servants, to avoid chastisement he confessed his name, +and delivered his amorous credentials. The amour terminated as ten +thousand others of the noble Lord's have done! + +[2] An allusion is here made to a speech published by the noble Lord, +which, as the title-page imports, was _intended_ to have been spoken; +in which his Lordship, towards the conclusion, gravely +remarks:--"Having, Sir, so long encroached upon the patience of the +House, and observing by the clock that the hour has become so +excessively late, nothing remains for me but to return my sincere +thanks to you, Sir, and the other gentlemen of this House, for the +particular civility; and extreme attention, with which I have been +heard:--the interesting nature of the occasion has betrayed me into a +much greater length than I had any idea originally of running into; +and if the casual warmth _of the moment_ has led me into the least +personal indelicacy towards any man alive, I am very ready to beg +pardon of him and this House, Sir, for having so done." + +[3] This line is literally transcribed from a speech of Lord +_Mountmorre_'s, when Candidate some years ago for the Representation +of the City of Westminster. + + + + +_NUMBER XX._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, +FOR THE +KING'S BIRTH-DAY, +_By_ SIR GEORGE HOWARD, K. B. + +CHORUS. + Re mi fa sol, + Tol de rol lol. + +I. + My Muse, for George prepare the splendid song, + Oh may it float on Schwellenburgen's voice! + Let Maids of Honour sing it all day long, + That Hoggaden's fair ears may hear it, and rejoice. + +II. + What subject first shall claim thy courtly strains? + Wilt thou begin from Windsor's sacred brow, + Where erst, with pride and pow'r elate, + The Tudors sate in sullen state, + While Rebel Freedom, forc'd at length to bow, + Retir'd reluctant from her fav'rite plains? + Ah! while in each insulting tower you trace + The features of that tyrant race, + How wilt thou joy to view the alter'd scene! + The Giant Castle quits his threat'ning mien; + The levell'd ditch no more its jaws discloses, } + But o'er its mouth, to feast our eyes and noses, } + Brunswick hath planted pinks and roses; } + Hath spread smooth gravel walks, and a small bowling green! + +III. + Mighty Sov'reign! Mighty Master! + George is content with lath and plaister! + At his own palace-gate, + In a poor porter's lodge, by Chambers plann'd, + See him with Jenky, hand in hand, + In serious mood, + Talking! talking! talking! talking! + Talking of affairs of state, + All for his country's good! + Oh! Europe's pride! Britannia's hope! + To view his turnips and potatoes, + Down his fair Kitchen-garden's slope + The victor monarch walks like Cincinnatus. + See, heavenly Muse! I vow to God + 'Twas thus the laurel'd hero trod-- + Sweet rural joys! delights without compare! + Pleasure shines in his eyes, } + While George with surprize, } + Sees his cabbages rise, } + And his 'sparagus wave in the air! + +IV. + But hark! I hear the sound of coaches, + The Levee's hour approaches-- + Haste, ye Postillions! o'er the turnpike road; + Back to St. James's bear your royal load! + 'Tis done--his smoaking wheels scarce touch'd the ground-- + By the Old Magpye and the New, } + By Colnbrook, Hounslow, Brentford, Kew, } + Half choak'd with dust the monarch flew, } + And now, behold, he's landed safe and sound.-- + Hail to the blest who tread this hallow'd ground! + Ye firm, invincible beefeaters, } + Warriors, who love their fellow-creatures, } + I hail your military features! } + Ye gentle, maids of honour, in stiff hoops, + Buried alive up to your necks, + Who chaste as Phoenixes in coops, + Know not the danger that await your sex! + Ye Lords, empower'd by fortune or desert, + Each in his turn to change your sovereign's shirt! + Ye Country Gentlemen, ye City May'rs, + Ye Pages of the King's back-stairs, + Who in these precincts joy to wait-- + Ye courtly wands, so white and small, + And you, great pillars of the State, + Who at Stephen's slumber, or debate, + Hail to you all!!! + +CHORUS. + Hail to you all!!! + +V. + Now, heavenly Muse, thy choicest song prepare: + Let loftier strains the glorious subject suit: + Lo! hand in hand, advance th' enamour'd pair, + This Chatham's son, and that the drudge of Bute; + Proud of their mutual love, + Like Nisus and Euryalus they move, + To Glory's steepest heights together tend, + Each careless for himself, each anxious for his friend! + Hail! associate Politicians! + Hail! sublime Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish Propositions! + Sooner our gracious King + From heel to heel shall cease to swing; + Sooner that brilliant eye shall leave its socket; + Sooner that hand desert the breeches pocket, + Than constant George consent his friends to quit, + And break his plighted faith to Jenkinson and Pitt! + +CHORUS. + Hail! most prudent Politicians! + Hail! correct Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish propositions! + +VI. + Oh! deep unfathomable Pitt! + To thee Ierne owes her happiest days! + Wait a bit, + And all her sons shall loudly sing thy praise! + Ierne, happy, happy Maid! + Mistress of the Poplin trade! + Old Europa's fav'rite daughter, + Whom first emerging from the water, + In days of yore, + Europa bore, + To the celestial Bull! + Behold thy vows are heard, behold thy joys are full! + Thy fav'rite Resolutions greet, + They're not much changed, there's no deceit! + Pray be convinc'd, they're still the true ones, + Though sprung from thy prolific head, + Each resolution hath begotten new ones, + And like their sires, all Irish born and bred! + Then haste, Ierne, haste to sing, + God save great George! God save the King! + May thy sons' sons to him their voices tune, + And each revolving year bring back the fourth of June! + + + + +_NUMBER XXI._ + +ADDRESS. + +Agreeably to the request of the Right Reverend Author, the following +Ode is admitted into this collection; and I think it but justice +to declare, that I have diligently scanned it on my fingers; and, +after repeated trials, to the best of my knowledge, believe the Metre +to be of the Iambic kind, containing three, four, five, and six feet +in one line, with the occasional addition of the hypercatalectic +syllable at stated periods. I am, therefore, of opinion, that +the composition is certainly verse; though I would not wish to +pronounce too confidently. For further information I shall print +his Grace's letter. + +TO SIR JOHN HAWKINS, BART. + +SIR JOHN, +As I understand you are publishing an authentic Edition of the +Probationary Odes. I call upon you to do me the justice of inserting +the enclosed. It was rejected on the Scrutiny by Signor Delpini, +for reasons which must have been suggested by the malevolence +of some rival. The reasons were, 1st, That the Ode was nothing +but prose, written in an odd manner; and, 2dly, That the Metre, +if there be any, as well as many of the thoughts, are stolen from +a little Poem, in a Collection called the UNION. To a man, blest +with an ear so delicate as your's, Sir John, I think it unnecessary +to say any thing on the first charge; and as to the second, (would +you believe it?) the Poem from which I am accused of stealing is +my own! Surely an Author has a right to make free with his own ideas, +especially when, if they were ever known, they have long since +been forgotten by his readers. You are not to learn, Sir John, +that _de non apparentibus & non existentibus eadem est ratio:_ +and nothing but the active spirit of literary jealousy, could +have dragged forth my former Ode from the obscurity, in which +it has long slept, to the disgrace of all good taste in the present +age. However, that you and the public may see, how little I have +really taken, and how much I have opened the thoughts, and improved +the language of that little, I send you _my imitations of myself_, +as well as some few explanatory notes, necessary to elucidate +my classical and historical allusions. + + I am, SIR JOHN, + With every wish for your success, + Your most obedient humble servant, + WILLIAM YORK. + + * * * * * + +PINDARIC ODE, + +By DR. W. MARKHAM, +Lord Archbishop of York, Primate of England, and Lord High Almoner +to his Majesty, formerly Preceptor to the Princes, Head Master of +Westminster School, &c. &c. &c. + +STROPHE I. + The priestly mind what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure prelatic spirit, + As loyal gratitude? + More to my King, than to my God, I owe; + God and my father made me man, + Yet not without my mother's added aid; + But George, without, or God, or man, + With grace endow', and hallow'd me Archbishop. + +ANTISTROPHE I. + In Trojan PRIAM's court a laurel grew; + So VIRGIL sings. But I will sing the laurel, + Which at St. JAMES's blooms. + O may I bend my brows from that blest tree, + Not flourishing in native green, + Refreshed with dews from AGANIPPE's spring: + But, [1]like the precious plant of DIS, + Glitt'ring with gold, with royal sack irriguous. + +EPODE I. + So shall my aukward gratitude, + With fond presumption to the Laureat's duty + Attune my rugged numbers blank. + Little I reck the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, + And tell of Tory principles, + The right Divine of Kings; + And Power Supreme that brooks not bold contention: + Till all the zeal monarchial + That fired the Preacher, in the Bard shall blaze, + And what my Sermons were, my Odes once more shall be. + +STROPHE II. + [2]Good PRICE, to Kings and me a foe no more, + By LANSDOWN won, shall pay with friendly censure + His past hostility. + Nor shall not He assist, my pupil once, + Of stature small, but doughty tongue, + Bold ABINGDON, whose rhetoric unrestrain'd, + Rashes, more lyrically wild, + [3]Than GREENE's mad lays, when he out-pindar'd PINDAR. + +ANTISTROPHE II. + With him too, EFFINGHAM his aid shall join, + [4] Who, erst by GORDON led, with bonfires usher'd + His Sov'reign's natal month. + Secure in such allies, to princely themes, + To HENRY's and to EDWARD's young. + Dear names, I'll meditate the faithful song; + How oft beneath my birch severe, + Like EFFINGHAM and ABINGDON, they tingled: + +EPODE II. + Or to the YOUTH IMMACULATE + Ascending thence, I'll sing the strain celestial, + By PITT, to bless our isle restor'd. + _Trim_ plenty, _not luxuriant_ as of old, + Peace, laurel-crown'd no more; + [5] Justice, that smites by scores, unmov'd; + And her of verdant locks, + Commerce, like Harlequin, in motley vesture, + [6]Whose magic sword with sudden sleight, + Wav'd o'er the HIBERNIAN treaty, turns to bonds, + The dreams of airy wealth, that play'd round PATRICK's[7] eyes. + +STROPHE III. + But lo! yon bark, that rich with India spoils, + O'er the wide-swilling ocean rides triumphant, + Oh! to BRITANNIA's shore + In safety waft, ye winds, the precious freight! + 'Tis HASTINGS; of the prostrate EAST + Despotic arbiter; whose [8] bounty gave + My MARKHAM's delegated rule + To riot in the plunder of BENARES. + +ANTISTROPHE III. + How yet affrighted GANGES, oft distain'd + With GENTOO carnage, quakes thro' all his branches! + Soon may I greet the morn, + When, HASTINGS screen'd, DUNDAS and GEORGE's name. + Thro' BISHOPTHORP's[9] glad roofs shall sound, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or in thy chosen PLACE, ST. JAMES, + Be carol'd loud amid th' applauding IMHOFFS! + +EPODE III. + When wealthy Innocence, pursued + By Factious Envy, courts a Monarch's succour, + Mean gifts of vulgar cost, alike + Dishonour him, who gives, and him, who takes. + Not thus shall HASTINGS sav'd, + Thee, BRUNSWICK, and himself disgrace. + [10]O may thy blooming Heir, + In virtues equal, be like thee prolific! + Till a new race of little GUELPS, + Beneath the rod of future MARKHAMS train'd, + Lisp on their Grandsire's knee his mitred Laureat's lays. + + +[1] See Virgil's neid, b. vi. + +[2] During the Administration of Lord SHELBURNE, I was told by +a friend of mine, that Dr. PRICE took occasion, in his presence, +to declare the most lively abhorrence of the damnable heresies, +which he had formerly advanced against the _Jure divino_ doctrines, +contained in some of my Sermons. + +[3] See a translation of PINDAR, by EDWARD BURNABY GKEENE. + +[4] This alludes wholly to a private anecdote, and in no degree +to certain malicious reports of the noble Earl's conduct during +the riots of June, 1780. + +[5] The present Ministry have twice gratified the public, with +the awfully sublime spectacle of twenty hanged at one time. + +[6] These three lines, I must confess, have been interpolated +since the introduction of the fourth Proposition in the new _Irish_ +Resolutions. They arose, however, quite naturally out of my preceding +personification of commerce. + +[7] I have taken the liberty of employing _Patrick_ in the same +sense as _Paddy_, to personify the people of _Ireland_. The latter +name was too colloquial for the dignity of my blank verse. + +[8] One of the many frivolous charges brought against Mr. Hastings +by factious men, is the removal of a Mr. FOWKE, contrary to the +orders of the Directors, that he might make room for his own +appointment of my so to the Residentship of BENARES. I have ever +thought it my duty to support the late Governor-General, both at +Leadenhall and in the House of Peers, against all such vexatious +accusations. + +[9] As many of my Competitors have complained of Signer Delpini's +ignorance, I cannot help remarking here, that he did not know +BISHOPTHORP to be the name of my palace, in Yorkshire; he did +not know Mr. Hastings's house to be in St. James's-place; he did +not know Mrs. Hastings to have two sons by Mynheer _Imhoff_, her +former husband, still living. And what is more shameful than +all in a Critical Assessor, he had never heard of the poetical +figure, by which I elegantly say, _thy place, St. James's,_ instead +of _St. James's-place_. + +[10] Signor Delpini wanted to strike out all that follows, because +truly it had no connection with the rest. The transition, like +some others in this and my former Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq. may +be too fine for vulgar apprehensions, but it is therefore the +more Pindaric. + + +IMITATIONS OF MYSELF. + +_Strophe_ I. + This goodly frame what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure therial spirit, + As mild benevolence? + _My Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq._ + +_Epode_ I. + How shall my aukward gratitude, + And the presumption of untutor'd duty + Attune thy numbers all too rude? + Little he recks the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ II. + To HENRYS and to EDWARDS old, + Dread names, I'll meditate the faithful song, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ II. + Justice with steady brow, + _Trim_ plenty, _Laureat_ peace, and _green-hair'd_ commerce, + In flowing robe of _thousand hues_, &c. +On this imitation of myself, I cannot help remarking, how happily +I have now applied some of these epithets, which, it must be +confessed, had not half the propriety before. + +_Strophe_ III. + Or trace her navy, where in towering pride + O'er the wide-swelling waste it rolls avengeful. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ III. + How headlong Rhone and Ebro, erst distain'd + With Moorish carnage, quakes thro' all her branches! + Soon shall I greet the morn, + When, Europe saved, BRITAIN and GEORGE's name + Shall soon o'er FLANDRIA's level field, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or by the jolly mariner + Be carol'd loud adown the echoing Danube. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ III. + O may your rising hope, + Well-principled in every virtue, bloom, + 'Till a fresh-springing flock implore, + With infant hands, a Grandsire's powerful prayer, + Or round your honour'd couch their pratling sports pursue. + + + + +_NUMBER XXII._ + +ODE, + +_By the_ REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. + +Fellow of the Trinity College, in Oxford, late Professor of Poetry +in that University, and now Poet Laureat to his Majesty. + +I. + Amid the thunder of the war, + True glory guides no echoing car; + Nor bids the sword her bays bequeath; + Nor stains with blood her brightest wreath: + No plumed host her tranquil triumphs own: + Nor spoils of murder'd multitudes she brings, + To swell the state of her distinguish'd, kings, + And deck her chosen throne. + On that fair throne, to Britain dear, + With the flowering olive twin'd, + High she hangs the hero's spear; + And there, with all the palms of peace combin'd, + Her unpolluted hands the milder trophy rear. + To kings like these, her genuine theme, + The Muse a blameless homage pays; + To GEORGE, of kings like these supreme, + She wishes honour'd length of days, + Nor prostitutes the tribute of her lays. + +II. + 'Tis his to bid neglected genius glow, + And teach the regal bounty how to flow; + His tutelary sceptre's sway + The vindicated Arts obey, + And hail their patron King: + 'Tis his to judgment's steady line + Their flights fantastic to confine, + And yet expand their wing: + The fleeting forms of Fashion to restrain, + And bind capricious Taste in Truth's eternal chain. + Sculpture, licentious now no more, + From Greece her great example takes, + With Nature's warmth the marble wakes, + And spurns the toys of modern lore: + In native beauty, simply plann'd, + Corinth, thy tufted shafts ascend; + The Graces guide the painter's hand, + His magic mimicry to blend. + +III. + While such the gifts his reign bestows, + Amid the proud display, + Those gems around the throne he throws + That shed a softer ray: + While from the summits of sublime Renown + He wafts his favour's universal gale, + With those sweet flowers he binds a crown + That bloom in Virtue's humble vale. + With rich munificence, the nuptial tye, + Unbroken he combines:---- + Conspicuous in a nation's eye, + The sacred pattern shines! + Fair Science to reform, reward, and raise, + To spread the lustre of domestic praise; + To foster Emulation's holy flame, + To build Society's majestic frame: + Mankind to polish and to teach, + Be this the monarch's aim; + Above Ambition's giant-reach + The monarch's meed to claim. + +The illustrious _Arbiters_, of whom we may with great truth describe +the noble Earl as the very _alter-ipse_ of _Mcenas_, and the worthy +_Pierot_, as the most correct counterpart of _Petronius_, had +carefully revised the whole of the preceding productions, and had +indulged the defeated ambition of restless and aspiring Poetry, with a +most impartial and elaborate _Scrutiny_ (the whole account of which, +faithfully translated from the Italian of _Signor Delpini_, and the +English of the _Earl of Salisbury_, will, in due time, be submitted +to the inspection of the curious), were preparing to make a legal +return, when an event happened that put a final period to their +proceedings.--The following is a correct account of this interesting +occurrence: + +On Sunday the 17th of the present month, to wit, July, Anno Domini, +1785, just as his Majesty was ascending the stairs of his gallery, +to attend divine worship at WINDSOR, he was surprized by the +appearance of a little, thick, squat, red-faced man, who, in a +very odd dress, and kneeling upon one knee, presented a piece of +paper for the Royal acceptation. His Majesty, amazed at the sight +of such a figure in such a place, had already given orders to one +of the attendant beef-eaters to dismiss him from his presence, +when, by a certain hasty spasmodic mumbling, together with two or +three prompt quotations from Virgil, the person was discovered to be +no other than the Rev. Mr. _Thomas Warton_ himself, dressed in the +official vesture of his professorship, and the paper which he held +in his hand being nothing else but a fair-written petition, designed +for the inspection of his Majesty, our gracious Sovereign, made up +for the seeming rudeness of the first reception, by a hearty embrace +on recognition; and the contents of the petition being forthwith +examined, were found to be pretty nearly as follows.----We omit +the common-place compliments generally introduced in the exordia +of these applications, as "relying upon your Majesty's well-known +clemency;" "convinced of your Royal regard for the real interest +of your subjects;" "penetrated with the fullest conviction of your +wisdom and justice," &c. &c. which, though undoubtedly very true, +when considered as addressed to George the Third, _might_, perhaps, +as matters of mere form, be applied to a Sovereign, who neither +had proved wisdom nor regard for his subjects in one act of his reign, +and proceed to the substance and matter of the complaint itself. +It sets forth, "That the Petitioner, Mr. _Thomas_, had been many years +a maker of Poetry, as his friend Mr. _Sadler_, the pastry-cook, of +Oxford, and some other creditable witnesses, could well evince: +that many of his works of fancy, and more particularly that one, +which is known by the name of his _Criticisms upon Milton_, had been +well received by the learned; that thus encouraged, he had entered +the list, together with many other great and respectable candidates, +for the honour of a succession to the vacant _Laureatship_; that a +decided return had been made in his favour by the officers best +calculated to judge, namely, the Right Hon. the Earl of Salisbury, +and the learned _Signor Delpini_, his Lordship's worthy coadjutor; +that the Signor's delicacy, unhappily for the Petitioner, like that +of Mr. _Corbett_, in the instance of the Westminster election, had +inclined him to the grant of a SCRUTINY; that in consequence of the +vexatious and pertinacious perseverance on the part of several +gentlemen in this illegal and oppressive measure, the Petitioner +had been severely injured in his spirits, his comforts, and his +interest: that he had been for many years engaged in a most laborious +and expensive undertaking, in which he had been honoured with the +most liberal communications from all the universities in Europe, +to wit, a splendid and most correct edition of the _Poemata Minora_, +of the immortal Mr. _Stephen Duck_; that he was also under positive +articles of literary partnership with his brother, the learned and +well-known Dr. _Joseph_, to supply two pages per day in his new work, +now in the press, entitled his Essay _on the Life and Writings_ of +Mr. THOMAS HICKATHRIFT; in both of which great undertakings, the +progress had been most essentially interrupted by the great anxiety +and distress of mind, under which the Petitioner has for some time +laboured, on account of this inequitable scrutiny; that the Petitioner +is bound by his honour and his engagement to prepare a new Ode for +the birth-day of her most gracious Majesty, which he is very desirous +of executing with as much poetry, perspicuity, and originality, as +are universally allowed to have characterised his last effusion, +in honour of the Natal Anniversary of his Royal Master's sacred +self; that there are but six months to come for such a preparation, +and that the Petitioner has got no farther yet than 'Hail Muse!' +in the first stanza, which very much inclines him to fear he shall +not be able to finish the whole in the short period above-mentioned, +unless his Majesty should be graciously pleased to order some of +his Lords of the Bed-chamber to assist him, or should command a +termination to the vexatious enquiry now pending. In humble hopes +that these several considerations would have their due influence +with his Majesty, the Petitioner concludes with the usual prayer, +and signed himself as underneath, &c. &c. &c. + THO. WARTON, B.D. &c. &c." + +Such was the influence of the above admirable appeal on the +sympathetic feelings of Majesty, that the sermon, which we understand +was founded upon the text, "_Let him keep his tongue from evil, and +his lips that they speak no untruth_," and which was _not_ preached by +Dr. _Prettyman_, was entirely neglected, and a message instantly +written, honoured by the Sign Manual, and directed to the office +of the Right Hon. Lord _Sydney_, Secretary for the Home Department, +enjoining an immediate redress for Mr. _Thomas_, and a total +suspension of any further proceedings in a measure which (as the +energy of Royal eloquence expressed it) was of such unexampled +injustice, illegality, and oppression, as that of a _scrutiny after a +fair poll, and a decided superiority of admitted suffrages_. This +message, conveyed, as its solemnity well required, by no other Person +than the Honourable young _Tommy_ himself, Secretary to his amazing +father, had its due influence with the Court; the Noble Lord broke his +wand; Mr. _Delpini_ executed a _chacone_, and tried at a _somerset_; +he grinned a grim obedience to the mandate, and calling for pen, ink, +and paper, wrote the following letter to the Printer of that favourite +diurnal vehicle through whose medium these effusions had been +heretofore submitted to the public: + +"_Monsieur_, +On vous requis, you are hereby commandie not to pooblish any more +of de _Ode Probationare--mon cher ami, Monsieur George le Roi_, says +it be ver bad to vex Monsieur le petit homme avec le grand +paunch--_Monsieur Wharton_, any more vid scrutine; je vous commande +derefore to finis--Que le Roi soit lou!--God save de King! mind vat I +say--ou le grand George and le bon Dieu damn votre ame & bodie, vos +jambes, & vos pies, for ever and ever--pour jamais. + (Signed) DELPINI." + +Nothing now remained, but for the Judges to make their return, +which having done in favour of Mr. _Thomas Warton_, the original +object of their preference, whom they now pronounced duly elected, +the following Imperial notice was published in the succeeding +Saturday's _Gazette_, confirming the Nomination, and giving legal +Sanction to the Appointment. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + +To all CHRISTIAN PEOPLE to whom these presents shall come, greeting, + +Know Ye, That by and with the advice, consent, concurrence, and +approbation of our right trusty and well-beloved cousins, James Cecil, +Earl of Salisbury, and Antonio Franciso Ignicio Delpini, Esq. Aur. +and Pierot to the Theatre-royal, Hay-market, WE, for divers good +causes and considerations, us thereunto especially moving, have +made, ordained, nominated, constituted, and appointed, and by +these presents do make, ordain, nominate, constitute, and appoint, +the Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. to be our true and only legal Laureat, +Poet, and Poetaster; that is to say, to pen, write, compose, +transpose, select, dictate, compile, indite, edite, invent, design, +steal, put together, transcribe, frame, fabricate, manufacture, +make, join, build, scrape, grub, collect, vamp, find, discover, +catch, smuggle, pick-up, beg, borrow, or buy, in the same manner +and with the same privileges as have been usually practised, and +heretofore enjoyed by every other Laureat, whether by our Sacred +Self appointed, or by our Royal predecessors, who now dwell with +their fathers: and for this purpose, to produce, deliver, chaunt, +or sing, as in our wisdom aforesaid we shall judge proper, at the +least three good and substantial Odes, in the best English or +German verse, in every year, that is to say, one due and proper Ode +on the Nativity of our blessed Self; one due and proper Ode on +the Nativity of our dearest and best beloved Royal Consort, for +the time being; and also one due and proper Ode on the day of the +Nativity of every future Year, of which God grant We may see many. +And we do hereby most strictly command and enjoin, that no Scholar, +Critic, Wit, Orthographer, or Scribbler, shall, by gibes, sneers, +jests, judgments, quibbles, or criticisms, molest, interrupt, +incommode, disturb, or confound the said Thomas Warton, or break the +peace of his orderly, quiet, pains-taking, and inoffensive Muse, in +the said exercise of his said duty. And we do hereby will and direct, +that if any of the person or persons aforesaid, notwithstanding our +absolute and positive command, shall be found offending against +this our Royal Proclamation, that he, she, or they being duly +convicted, shall, for every such crime and misdemeanor, be punished +in the manner and form following; to wit--For the first offence he +shall be drawn on a sledge to the most conspicuous and notorious +part of our ever faithful city of London, and shall then and there, +with an audible voice, pronounce, read, and deliver three several +printed speeches of our right, trusty, and approved MAJOR JOHN +SCOTT.--For the second offence, that he be required to translate into +good and lawful English one whole unspoken speech of our right +trusty and well-beloved cousin and councellor, Lord Viscount +MOUNTMORRES, of the kingdom of _Ireland_;--and for the third offence, +that he be condemned to read one whole page of the Poems, Essays, +or Criticisms of our said Laureat, Mr. Thomas Warton.----And whereas +the said office of Laureat is a place of the last importance, +inasmuch as the person holding it has confided to him the care +of making the Royal virtues known to the world; and we being minded +and desirous that the said T. Warton should execute and perform +the duties of his said office with the utmost dignity and decorum, +NOW KNOW YE, That we have thought it meet to draw up a due and +proper Table of Instructions, hereunto annexed, for the use of +the said Thomas Warton, in his said poetical exercise and employment, +which we do hereby most strictly will and enjoin the said Thomas +Warton to abide by and follow, under pain of incurring our most +high displeasure. + + Given at our Court at St. James's, this + 30th day of May, one thousand seven + hundred and eighty-five. + _Vivant Rex & Regina._ + + + + +TABLE OF INSTRUCTIONS + +FOR THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. AND P.L. &c. &c. + _Chamberlain's Office, May 30th, 1785._ + +1st, That in fabricating the catalogue of Regal Virtues (in which +task the Poet may much assist his invention by perusing the Odes +of his several predecessors) you be particularly careful not to +omit his Chastity, his skill in Mechanics, and his Royal Talent +of Child-getting.-- + +2dly, It is expected that you should be very liberally endowed +with the gift of Prophecy; but be very careful not to predict any +event but what may be perfectly acceptable to your Sovereign, such +as the subjugation of America, the destruction of the Whigs, +long-life, &c. &c. + +3dly, That you be always provided with a due assortment of true, +good-looking, and legitimate words; and that you do take all +necessary care not to apply them but on their proper occasions; +as for example, not to talk of dove-eyed peace, nor the gentle +olive, in time of war; nor of trumpets, drums, fifes, nor +[1]ECHOING CARS, in times of peace--as, for the sake of poetical +conveniency, several of your predecessors have been known to do. + +4thly, That as the Sovereign for the time being must always be +the best, the greatest, and the wisest, that ever existed; so +the year also, for the time being, must be the happiest, the +mildest, the fairest, and the most prolific that ever occurred.--What +reflections upon the year past you think proper. + +5thly, That Music being a much higher and diviner science than +Poetry, your Ode must always be adapted to the Music, and not +the Music to your Ode.--The omission of a line or two cannot be +supposed to make any material difference either in the poetry +or in sense. + +6thly, That as these sort of invitations have of late years been +considered by the Muses as mere cards of compliment, and of course +have been but rarely accepted, you must not waste more than twenty +lines in invoking the Nine, nor repeat the word "Hail!" more than +fifteen times at farthest. + +7thly, And finally, That it may not be amiss to be a little +intelligible[2]. + +[1] It is evident from this expression, that these instructions +had not been delivered to Mr. Warton at the time of his writing +his last famous Ode on the Birth-day of his Majesty: a circumstance +which makes that amazing composition still more extraordinary. + +[2] This is an additional proof that Mr. Warton had not received, +the Instructions at the time he composed his said Ode. + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES; + +BY +THE AUTHORS +OF +_THE ROLLIAD_ +AND +PROBATIONARY ODES. + + * * * * * + + -- LONGVO DICTA PARENTI + HAUD DUBITANDA REFER. VIRGIL. + + + + +TO THE PUBLIC. + +The very favourable reception given to the ROLLIAD, and PROBATIONARY +ODES, has induced the Editor to conceive, that a collection of +political _Jeus d'Esprits_, by the authors of those celebrated +performances, would prove equally acceptable. Various publications +upon a similar plan have already been attempted; but their good +things have been so scantily interspersed, that they have appeared +like GRATIANO's reasons, "_as two grains of_ WHEAT _in a bushel of_ +CHAFF." In the present Edition are contained not only a number +of pieces which have at different times been given to the Public, +but also a variety of Original Articles, which but for the flattering +confidence of private friendship, would have still remained in +the closets of their authors. MISCELLANIES, indeed, in any state, +from the variety which they afford, must ever be attractive; but, +when added to this inherent advantage, they also possess the benefit +of a proper selection, their attraction must of necessity become +materially enhanced. The fame of the Authors of the following +sheets is too well established in the mind of every person of +taste and literature, to derive any aid from our feeble panegyric. +It is only to be lamented that, from the peculiar circumstances +under which these their poetical offspring make their appearance, +the Parents' names cannot be announced to the world with all that +parade which accompanies a more legal intercourse with the Muses. +Perhaps, however, the vigour and native energy of the Parents, +appear much more prominent in these ardent inspirations of nature, +than in the cold, nerveless, unimpassioned efforts of a legitimate +production. It may here be objected by some fastidious critics, +that if writings, evidently so reputable to the fame of the authors, +are of such a construction as to be unfit to be acknowledged, that +they are equally unfit for publication: but let these gentlemen +recollect, that it has ever been held perfectly justifiable to +utter those sarcasms under a masque, which the strict rules of +decorum would render inadmissible in any other situation. The shafts +of ridicule have universally been found more efficacious in correcting +folly and impertinence, than the most serious reproof; and while +we pursue the example of POPE, SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, ADDISON, and others +of the wittiest, the wisest, and the best men of the age in which +they lived, we shall little fear the cavils of ill-nature. If it +should be urged that the subjects of these political productions +are merely temporary, and will be forgotten with the hour which +gave them birth; let it at the same time be recollected, that though +the heroes of the DUNCIAD have sunk into their native obscurity, +the reputation of the poem which celebrated their worth, still +retains its original splendour. And, in truth, as a matter of equity, +if blockheads and dunces are worthy to be recorded in the Poet's +page, why may not Privy Councillors and Lords of the Bedchamber +demand a similar exaltation? + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +PROBATIONARY ODE +EXTRAORDINARY, +_By the Rev_. W. MASON, M.A. + +[The following second attempt of Mr. MASON, at the ROYAL SACK, was +not inserted in the celebrated collection of Odes formed by Sir +JOHN HAWKINS.--What might be the motive of the learned Knight for +this omission can at present only be known to himself.--Whether +he treasured it up for the next edition of his Life of Dr. JOHNSON, +or whether he condemned it for its too close resemblance to a +former elegant lyric effusion of the Rev. Author, must remain for +time, or Mr, FRANCIS BARBER, to develope.--Having, however, been +fortunate enough to procure a copy, we have printed both the Odes +in opposite leaves, that in case the latter supposition should +turn out to be well founded, the public may decide how far the worthy +magistrate was justified in this exclusion.] + + +ODE ODE + +_To the Honourable_ WILLIAM PITT. _To the Right Hon._ WILLIAM PITT. + +_By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ _By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ + + Me nyn, oti phthonerhai "Give not the Mitre now! + Thnaton phrenas amphikremantai Lest base-tongued ENVY squinting at my + elpides, brow, + Met arena poet siyato patroan, Cry, 'lo! the price for CAVENDISH + betray'd!' + Mede tousd hymnous. But in good time nor that, oh! PITT! + PINDAR, Isthm. Ode 2. forget, + Nor my more early service yet unpaid, + My puffs on CHATHAM in his offspring's + aid, + Not what this loyal Ode shall add to + swell the debt." + MY OWN TRANSLATION. + + + I. I. + 'Tis May's meridian reign; yet Eurus 'Tis now the TENTH of APRIL; yet the + cold wind + Forbids each shrinking thorn its In frigid fetters doth each blossom + leaves unfold, bind, + Or hang with silver buds her rural No silver buds her rural throne + throne: emboss: + No primrose shower from her green lap No violets _blue_ from her _green_ lap + she throws[1], she throws[2]; + No daisy, violet, or cowslip blows, Oh! lack-a-daisy! not a daisy blows, + And Flora weeps her fragrant And (ere she has them) FLORA weeps + offspring gone. their loss. + Hoar frost arrests the genial dew; Hoar frost, with bailiff's grizly + hue, + To wake, to warble, and to woo At Winter's suit, arrests the dew; + No linnet calls his drooping No Cuckow wakes her drowsy mate: + love: + Shall then the poet strike the His harp then shall a Parson + lyre, strum, + When mute are all the feather'd When other Blackbirds all are + quire, dumb, + And Nature fails to warm the syrens of When neither Starlings, Daws, or + the grove? Magpies prate? + + II. II. + He shall: for what the sullen Spring He shall: for what the sulky Spring + denies denies, + The orient beam of virtuous youth An annual butt of sugar'd SACK + supplies: supplies; + That moral dawn be his inspiring That beverage sweet be his inspiring + flame. flame, + Beyond the dancing radiance of the Cloath'd in the radiant influence of + east the East, + Thy glory, son of CHATHAM! fires his Thy glory, son of CHATHAM, fires his + breast, breast; + And proud to celebrate thy vernal And swift to adulate thy vernal + fame. fame, + Hark, from this lyre the strain Hark! from his lyre a strain is + ascends, heard, + Which but to Freedom's fav'rite In hopes, ere long, to be + friends preferred, + That lyre disdains to sound. To sit in state 'midst mitred + peers. + Hark and approve, as did thy Hark and approve! as did thy sire, + sire[3] + The lays which once with kindred The lays which, nodding by the + fire fire, + His muse in attic mood made Mona's To gentle slumbers sooth'd his + oaks rebound. listening ears. + + III. III. + Long silent since, save when, in Long silent since, save when on + KEPPEL's name, t'other side, + Detraction, murd'ring BRITAIN's naval In KEPPEL's praise to little purpose + fame, tried, + Rous'd into sounds of scorn th' I rous'd to well-feign'd scorn the + indignant string[4]. indignant string; + But now, replenish'd with a richer But now replete with a more hopeful + theme, theme, + The vase of harmony shall pour its The o'erflowing ink-bottle shall pour + stream, its stream, + Fann'd by free Fancy's Through quills by Dullness pluck'd + rainbow-tinctur'd wing. from gosling's downy wing. + Thy country too shall hail the St. JAMES's too shall hail the + song, song, + Her echoing heart the notes Her echoing walls the notes + prolong; prolong, + While they alone with [5]envy Whilst they alone with sorrow + sigh, sigh. + Whose rancour to thy parent dead Whose reverence for thy parent + dead, + Aim'd, ere his funeral rites were Now bids them hang their drooping + paid, head, + With vain vindictive rage to starve And weep, to mark the conduct of his + his progeny. progeny. + + IV. IV. + From earth and these the muse averts From these the courtly muse averts her + her view, eye. + To meet in yonder sea of ether blue To meet with genuine unaffected joy + A beam to which the blaze of noon is A scene that passes in the Closet's + pale: gloom; + In purpling circles now the glory In whitening circles the dim glory + spreads, spreads, + A host of angels now unveil their Bedchamber Lords unveil their powder'd + heads, heads, + While heav'n's own music triumphs on And Tory triumphs sound throughout + the gale. the room: + Ah see, two white-rob'd seraphs Ah! see two Jannisaries lead + lead + Thy father's venerable shade; Illustrious BUTE's thrice-honour'd + shade; + He bends from yonder cloud of Behind yon curtain did he stand, + gold, + While they, the ministers of Whilst they (which Whigs with + light, horror mark) + Bear from his breast a mantle Bear from his cloak a lantern + bright, dark, + And with the heav'n-wove robe thy And trust the hallow'd engine to thy + youthful limbs enfold. youthful hand. + + V. V. + "Receive this mystic gift, my son!" he "Receive this mystic gift, brave boy," + cries, he cries, + "And, for so wills the Sovereign of "And if so please the Sovereign of the + the skies, skies, + With this receive, at ALBION's With this receive at GEORGE's + anxious hour, anxious hour, + A double portion of my patriot zeal, A double portion of my Tory zeal, + Active to spread the fire it dar'd to Active to spread the fire it dared to + feel feel, + Thro' raptur'd senates, and with Through venal senates, and with + awful power boundless pow'r, + From the full fountain of the tongue From the full fountain of the + tongue, + To call the rapid tide along To roll a tide of words along, + Till a whole nation caught the Till a whole nation is deceived. + flame. + So on thy sire shall heav'n bestow, So shall thy early labours gain + A blessing TULLY fail'd to know, A blessing BUTE could ne'er attain; + And redolent in thee diffuse thy In fact, a Courtier be, yet Patriot be + father's fame. believed. + + VI. VI. + "Nor thou, ingenuous boy! that Fame "Nor thou, presumptuous imp, that fame + despise disown, + Which lives and spreads abroad in Which draws its splendor from a + Heav'n's pure eyes, monarch's throne, + The last best energy of noble Sole energy of many a lordly mind, + mind[6]; + Revere thy father's shade; like him Revere the shade of BUTE, subservient + disdain still + The tame, the timid, temporizing To the high dictates of the Royal + train, will; + Awake to self, to social interest Awake to self, to social interest + blind: blind. + Young as thou art, occasion calls, Young as thou art, occasion calls, + Thy country's scale or mounts or Prerogative or mounts or falls + falls + As thou and thy compatriots As thou and thy compatriots[7] + strive; strive, + Scarce is the fatal moment past Scarce in the fatal moment past + That trembling ALBION deem'd her Which Secret Influence deem'd her + last, last, + O knit the union firm, and bid an Oh! save the expiring fiend, and bid + empire live. her empire live! + + VII. VII. + "Proceed, and vindicate fair Freedom's "Proceed!--Uphold Prerogative's high + claim, claim, + Give life, give strength, give Give life, give strength, give + substance to her name; substance to her name! + The native rights of man with Fraud The rights divine of Kings with + contest. Whigs contest; + Yes, snatch them from Corruption's Save them from Freedom's bold + baleful power, incroaching hand, + Who dares, in Day's broad eye, those Who dares, in Day's broad eye, those + rights devour, rights withstand, + While prelates bow, and bless the And be by Bishops thy endeavours + harpy feast. bless'd!" + If foil'd at first, resume thy If foil'd at first, resume thy + course, course, + Rise strengthen'd with ANTAN Whilst I, though writing worse and + force, worse, + So shall thy toil in conquest Thy glorious efforts will + end. record; + Let others court the tinsel things Let others seek by other ways, + That hang upon the smile of kings, The public's unavailing praise, + Be thine the muse's wreath; be thou Be mine the BUTT OF SACK--be thou the + _the people's friend_." TREASURY'S LORD! + + +[1] This expression is taken from Milton's song on May Morning, +to which this stanza in general alludes, and the 4th verse in +the next. + +[2] Improved from Milton. + +[3] The poem of Curactacus was read in Ms. by the late Earl of +Chatham, who honoured it with an approbation which the author +is here proud to record. + +[4] See Ode to the Naval Officers of Great Britain, written 1779. + +[5] See the motto from Pindar. + +[6] in allusion to a fine and well-known passage in MILTON's Lycidas. + +[7] Messrs. JENKINSON, ROBINSON, DUNDAS, &c. &c. + + + + +THE STATESMEN: + +AN ECLOGUE. + +LANSDOWNE. + While on the Treasury-Bench you, PITT, recline, + And make men wonder at each vast design; + I, hapless man, my harsher fate deplore, + Ordain'd to view the regal face no more; + That face which erst on me with rapture glow'd, 5 + And smiles responsive to my smiles bestow'd: + But now the Court I leave, my native home, + "A banish'd man, condemn'd in woods to roam;" + While you to senates, BRUNSWICK's mandates give, + And teach white-wands to chaunt his high prerogative. 10 + +PITT. + Oh! LANSDOWNE, 'twas a more than mortal pow'r + My fate controul'd, in that auspicious hour, + When TEMPLE deign'd the dread decree to bring, + And stammer'd out the _Firmaun_ of the King: + That power I'll worship as my houshold god, 15 + Shrink at his frown, and bow beneath his nod; + At every feast his presence I'll invoke, + For him my kitchen fires shall ever smoke; + Not mighty HASTINGS, whose illustrious breath + Can bid a RAJAH live, or give him death, 20 + Though back'd by SCOTT, by BARWELL, PALK, and all + The sable squadron scowling from BENGAL; + Not the bold Chieftain of the tribe of PHIPPS, + Whose head is scarce less handsome than his ship's; + Not bare-breech'd GRAHAM, nor bare-witted ROSE, 25 + Nor the GREAT LAWYER with the LITTLE NOSE; + Not even VILLIERS' self shall welcome be, + To dine so oft, or dine so well as he. + +LANSDOWNE. + Think not these sighs denote one thought unkind, + Wonder, not Envy, occupies my mind; 30 + For well I wot on that unhappy day, + When BRITAIN mourn'd an empire giv'n away; + When rude impeachments menaced from afar, + And what gave peace to FRANCE--to us was war; + For awful vengeance Heav'n appeared to call, 35 + And agonizing Nature mark'd our fall. + Dire change! DUNDAS's cheek with blushes glow'd, + GRENVILLE was dumb, MAHON no phrenzy show'd; + Though DRAKE harrangu'd, no slumber GILBERT fear'd, + And MULGRAVE's mouth like other mouths appear'd; 40 + In vain had BELLAMY prepar'd the meat; + In vain the porter; BAMBER could not eat; + When BURKE arose no yell the curs began, + And ROLLE, for once, half seem'd a gentleman: + Then name this god, for to St. JAMES's Court, 45 + Nor gods nor angels often make resort. + +PITT. + In early youth misled by Honour's rules, + That fancied Deity of dreaming fools; + I simply thought, forgive the rash mistake, + That Kings should govern tor their People's sake: 50 + But Reverend JENKY soon these thoughts supprest, + And drove the glittering phantom from my breast; + JENKY! that sage, whom mighty George declares, + Next SCHWELLENBURGEN, great on the back stairs: + 'Twas JENKINSON--ye Deacons, catch the sound! 55 + Ye Treasury scribes, the sacred name rebound! + Ye pages, sing it--echo it, ye Peers! + And ye who best repeat, Right Reverend Seers! + Whose pious tongues no wavering fancies sway, + But like the needle ever point one way. 60 + +LANSDOWNE. + Thrice happy youth! secure from every change, + Thy beasts unnumber'd, 'mid the Commons range; + Whilst thou, by JOVE's therial spirit fired, + Or by sweet BRUNSWICK's sweeter breath inspired, + Another ORPHEUS every bosom chear, 65 + And sticks, and stocks, and stones, roar _hear! hear! hear!_ + Raised by thy pipe the savage tribes advance, + And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance: + For me no cattle now my steps attend, + Ev'n PRICE and PRIESTLY, wearied, scorn their friend; 70 + And these twin sharers of my festive board, + Hope of my flock, now seek some richer Lord. + +PITT. + Sooner shall EFFINGHAM clean linen wear, + Or MORNINGTON without his star appear; + Sooner each prisoner BULLER's law escape; 75 + Sooner shall QUEENSBURY commit a rape; + Sooner shall POWNEY, HOWARD's noddle reach; + Sooner shall THURLOW hear his brother preach; + Sooner with VESTRIS, Bootle shall contend; + Sooner shall EDEN not betray his friend; 80 + Sooner DUNDAS an Indian bribe decline; + Sooner shall I my chastity resign; + Sooner shall Rose than PRETTYMAN lie faster, + Than PITT forget that JENKINSON's his maker. + +LANSDOWNE. + Yet oft in times of yore I've seen thee stand 85 + Like a tall May-pole 'mid the patriot band; + While with reforms you tried each baneful art, + To wring fresh sorrows from your Sovereign's heart; + That heart, where every virtuous thought is known, + But modestly locks up and keeps them all his own. 90 + +PITT. + 'Twas then that PITT, for youth such warmth allows, + To wanton Freedom paid his amorous vows; + Lull'd by her smiles, each offer I withstood, + And thought the greatest bliss my country's good. + 'Twas pride, not passion, madden'd in my brain, 95 + I wish'd to rival FOX, but wish'd in vain; + Fox, the dear object of bright Freedom's care, + Fox still the favourite of the BRITISH fair; + But while with wanton arts the syren strove + To fix my heart, and wile me to her love; 100 + Too soon I found my hasty choice to blame, + --Freedom and Poverty are still the same-- + While piles of massy gold his coffers fill, + Who votes subservient to his Sovereign's will. + +LANSDOWNE. + Enough, break off--on RICHMOND I must wait; 105 + And DEBBIEG too will think I stay too late; + Yet ere I go some friendly aid I'd prove, + The last sad tribute of a master's love. + In that famed College where true wisdom's found, + For MACHIAVELIAN policy renown'd, 110 + The pious pastors first fill'd LANSDOWNE's mind, + With all the lore for Ministers design'd: + Then mark my words, and soon those Seers shall see + Their famed IGNATIUS far outdone in thee;-- + In every action of your life be shown, 115 + You think the world was made for you alone; + With cautious eye each character survey, + Woo to deceive, and promise to betray; + Let no rash passion Caution's bounds destroy, + And ah! no more appear "THE ANGRY BOY!" 120 + +PITT. + Yet stay--Behold the Heav'ns begin to lour, + And HOLLAND threatens with a thunder show'r; + With me partake the feast, on this green box, + Full fraught with many a feast for factious Fox; + Each sapient hint that pious PRETTY gleans, 125 + And the huge bulk of ROSE's Ways and Means; + See too the smoaky citizens approach, + Piled with petitions view their Lord Mayor's coach; + Ev'n now their lengthen'd shadows reach this floor, + Oh! that d--n'd SHOP-TAX--AUBREY, shut the door! 130 + + +THE STATESMEN.] It will be unnecessary to inform the classical +reader, that this Eclogue evidently commences as an imitation +of the 1st. of Vergil--the Author, however, with a boldness +perfectly characteristic of the personages he was to represent, +has in the progress of his work carefully avoided every thing +like a too close adherence to his original design. + +Line 8.--_A banish'd man_, &c.] Vide the noble Marquis's celebrated +speech, on the no less celebrated IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +Line 14.--_And stammer'd out the_ FIRMAUN, &c.] When a language +happens to be deficient in a word to express a particular idea, +it has been ever customary to borrow one from some good-natured +neighbour, who may happen to be more liberally furnished. Our Author, +unfortunately, could find no nation nearer than TURKEY, that was +able to supply him with an expression perfectly apposite to the +sentiment intended to be here conveyed. + +Line 25.--_Not bare-breeche'd_ GRAHAM.] His Lordship some time since +brought in a bill to relieve his countrymen from those habilliments +which in ENGLAND are deemed a necessary appendage to decorum, but +among our more northern brethren are considered as a degrading +shackle upon natural liberty. Perhaps, as the noble Lord was then +on the point of marriage, he might intend this offering of his +_opima spolia_, as an elegant compliment to HYMEN. + +Line 51.--_But Reverend_ JENKY.] Our Author here, in some measure +deviating from his usual perspicuity, has left us in doubt whether +the term _Reverend_ is applied to the years or to the profession +of the gentleman intended to be complimented. His long experience +in the secrets of the CRITICAL REVIEW, and BUCKINGHAM HOUSE, would +well justify the former supposition; yet his early admission into +DEACON'S ORDERS will equally support the latter: our readers +therefore must decide, while we can only sincerely exult in his +Majesty's enjoyment of a man whose whole pious life has been spent +in sustaining that beautiful and pathetic injunction of scripture, +"SERVE GOD, AND HONOUR THE KING." + +Line 68.--_And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance_.] The beautiful +allusion here made to that glorious state of doubt and obscurity +in which our youthful Minister's measures have been invariably +involved, with its consequent operation on the stockholders, is +here most fortunately introduced.--What a striking contrast does +Mr. PITT's conduct, in this particular, form to that of the Duke +of PORTLAND, Mr. Fox, and your other _plain matter of fact men!_ + +Line 83.--_Sooner shall_ ROSE _than_ PRETTYMAN _lie faster_.] This +beautiful compliment to the happy art of embellishment, so wonderfully +possessed by this _par nobile fratrum_, merits our warmest applause; +and the skill of our author no where appears more conspicious than +in this line, where, in refusing to give to either the pre-eminence, +he bestows the _ne plus ultra_ of excellence on both. + + + + +RONDEAU. + +HUMBLY INSCRIBED + +_To the_ RIGHT HON. WILLIAM EDEN, ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY _and_ MINISTER +PLENIPOTENTIARY _of Commercial Affairs at the Court of_ VERSAILLES. + + + Of EDEN lost, in ancient days, + If we believe what MOSES says, + A paltry pippin was the price, + One crab was bribe enough to entice + Frail human kind from Virtue's ways. + + But now, when PITT, the all-perfect, sways, + No such vain lures the tempter lays, + Too poor to be the purchase twice, + Of EDEN lost. + + The Dev'l grown wiser, to the gaze + Six thousand pounds a year displays, + And finds success from the device; + Finds this fair fruit too well suffice + To pay the peace, and honest praise, + Of EDEN lost. + + +ANOTHER. + + "A mere affair of trade to embrace, + Wines, brandies, gloves, fans, cambricks, lace; + For this on me my Sovereign laid + His high commands, and I obeyed; + Nor think, my lord, this conduct base. + + "Party were guilt in such a case, + When thus my country, for a space, + Calls my poor skill to DORSET's aid + A mere affair of trade!" + + Thus EDEN, with unblushing face, + To NORTH would palliate his disgrace; + When NORTH, with smiles, this answer made: + "You might have spared what you have said; + I thought the business of your place + A mere affair of trade!" + + +ANOTHER. + + Around the tree, so fair, so green, + Erewhile, when summer shone serene, + Lo! where the leaves in many a ring, + Before the wint'ry tempest wing, + Fly scattered o'er the dreary scene: + + Such, NORTH, thy friends. Now cold and keen + Thy Winter blows; no shelt'ring skreen + They stretch, no graceful shade they fling + Around the tree. + + Yet grant, just Fate, each wretch so mean, + Like EDEN, pining in his spleen + For posts, for stars, for strings, may swing + On two stout posts in hempen string! + Few eyes would drop a tear, I ween, + Around the tree. + + +ANOTHER. + + "The JORDAN have you been to see?" + Cried FOX, when late with shuffling plea, + Poor EDEN stammer'd at excuse, + But why the JORDAN introduce? + What JORDAN too will here agree? + + That JORDAN which from spot could free + One man unclean here vain would be: + If yet those powers of wond'rous use + The JORDAN have! + + One fitter JORDAN of the three + Would I for EDEN's meed decree; + With me then open every sluice, + And foaming high with streams profuse, + For EDENS head may all with me + The JORDAN have! + + +ANOTHER. + + For EDEN's place, where circling round + EUPHRATES wash'd the hallow'd mound, + The learned long in vain have sought; + 'Twas GREECE, 'twas POLAND, some have taught; + Some hold it in the deluge drown'd: + PITT thinks his search at PARIS crown'd; + See the Gazette his proofs expound! + Yet who of looking there had thought + For EDEN's place! + + No;--view yon frame with dirt embrown'd, + Some six feet rais'd above the ground, + Where rogues, exalted as they ought, + To peep through three round holes are brought, + There will the genuine spot be found + For EDEN's place! + + + + +EPIGRAMS + +_On the_ IMMACULATE BOY + + That Master PITT seems + To be fond of extremes, + No longer is thought any riddle; + For sure we may say, + 'Tis as plain as the day, + That he always kept clear of the middle. + + +ANOTHER. + + 'Tis true, indeed, we oft abuse him, + Because he bends to no man; + But Slander's self dares not accuse him + Of stiffness to a woman. + + +ANOTHER. + + "No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that," quoth PITT, "I'll die;" + Cries WILBERFORCE, "If not till then, + By G--d you must outlive all men[1]." + + +ANOTHER[2]. + + On _fair and equal_ terms to place + An union is thy care; + But trust me, POWIS, in this case + The _equal_ should not please his Grace, + And PITT dislikes the _fair_. + + +ANOTHER. + + The virulent fair, + Protest and declare, + This Ministry's not to their hearts; + For say what they will, + To them Master BILL + Has never discover'd his parts. + + +ANOTHER. + + ----_Ex nihilo nil fit._ + + When PITT exclaim'd, "By measures I'll be tried," + That false appeal all woman-kind denied. + + +ANOTHER. + + Incautious Fox will oft repose + In fair one's bosom thoughts of worth; + But PITT his secrets keeps so close, + No female arts can draw them forth. + + +ANOTHER. + + Had PITT to his advice inclined, + SIR CECIL had undone us; + But he, a friend to womankind, + Would nothing lay upon us. + ANCILLA. + + +ANOTHER. + + _On_ Mr. PITT's _Prudence_. + + Though PITT have to women told some things, no doubt; + Yet his private affairs they have never found out. + + +ANOTHER. + + Who dares assert that virtuous PITT + Partakes in female pleasures; + For know there ne'er was woman yet + Could e'er endure half measures. + + +ANOTHER. + +_Puer loquitur._ + + Though big with mathematic pride, + By me this axiom is denied; + I can't conceive, upon my soul, + My parts are equal to the _whole_. + + +[1] "No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that," quoth PITT, "I'll die; + Behind the elms last night," quoth DICK, + "Rose, were you not extremely sick?" PRIOR. + +[2] A coalition between the DUKE OF PORTLAND and Mr. PITT, was +attempted to be formed by Mr. POWIS, and the other Country +Gentlemen.--This endeavour, however, was defeated in consequence of +Mr. PITT's construction of the terms _fair and equal_. + + + + +THE DELAVALIAD. + +Why, says an indignant poet, should Mr. ROLLE alone, of all the +geniuses that distinguish the present period, be thought the only +person of worth or talents enough to give birth and name to an +immortal effusion of divine poesy? He questions not that great +man's pretensions; far from it; he reveres his ancestors, adores +his talents, and feels something hardly short of idolatry towards +his manners and accomplishments.--But still, why such profusion +of distinction towards one, to the exclusion of many other high +characters? Our Poet professes to feel this injustice extremely, +and has made the following attempt to rescue one deserving man from +so unmerited an obloquy. The reader will perceive the measure to +be an imitation of that which has been so deservedly admired in +our immortal bard, in his play of "_As You Like It._" + + From the East to the Western Inde + No Jewel is like Rosalind; + Her worth being mounted on the wind, + Thro' all the world bears Rosalind, &c. &c. + +This kind of verse is adopted by the poet to avoid any appearance +of too servile an imitation of the ROLLIAD. He begins, + + Ye patriots all, both great and small, + Resign the palm to DELAVAL; + The virtues would'st thou practise all, + So in a month did DELAVAL. + A _patriot_ first both stout and tall, + Firm for the day was DELAVAL. + The friend to court, where frowns appal, + The next became good DELAVAL.-- + Wilt thou against oppression bawl? + Just so did valiant DELAVAL! + Yet in a month, thyself enthral, + So did the yielding DELAVAL: + Yet give to both, a dangerous fall, + So did reflecting DELAVAL. + If resignation's good in all, + Why so it is in DELAVAL: + For if you p--- against a wall, + Just so you may 'gainst DELAVAL: + And if with foot you kick a ball, + E'en so you may--a DELAVAL. + 'Gainst _influence_ would'st thou vent thy gall, + Thus did the patriot DELAVAL: + Yet servile stoop to Royal call, + So did the loyal DELAVAL. + What friend to Freedom's fair-built Hall, + Was louder heard than DELAVAL? + Yet who the _Commons_ rights to maul, + More stout was found than DELAVAL? + --'Gainst Lords and Lordlings would'st thou brawl, + Just so did he--SIR DELAVAL: + Yet on thy knees, to honours crawl, + Oh! so did he--LORD DELAVAL. + An evil sprite possessed SAUL, + And so it once did DELAVAL. + Music did soon the sense recal, + Of ISRAEL's King, and DELAVAL, + SAUL rose at DAVID's vile cat-call. + --Not so the wiser DELAVAL: + 'Twas money's sweetest _sol, la fal_, + That chear'd the sense of DELAVAL-- + When royal power shall instal, + With honours new LORD DELAVAL; + Who won't say--the _miraculous_ hawl + Is caught by faithful DELAVAL? + 'Gainst rapine would'st thou preach like Paul, + Thus did religious DELAVAL: + Yet screen the scourges of Bengal, + Thus did benignant DELAVAL. + To future times recorded shall + Be all the worths of DELAVAL: + E'en OSSIAN, or the great FINGAL, + Shall yield the wreath to DELAVAL. + From Prince's court to cobler's stall, + Shall sound the name of DELAVAL: + For neither sceptre nor the awl, + Are strong and keen as DELAVAL.-- + Some better praise, than this poor scrawl, + Shall sing the fame of DELAVAL: + For sure no song can ever pall, + That celebrates great DELAVAL: + Borne on all fours, the fame shall sprawl. + To latest time--of DELAVAL: + Then come, ye Nine, in one great squall, + Proclaim the worths of DELAVAL. + +[_The annotations of the learned are expected._] + + + + +THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT GEORGE[1] BUILT. + +Lord NUGENT.--This is the RAT, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. FOX.--This is the CAT, that killed the Rat, that eat the +Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +PEPPER ARDEN.--This is the DOG, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Lord THURLOW.--This is the BULL with the crumpled horn, that +roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, +that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +Mr. PITT.--This is the MAIDEN[2] all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. DUNDAS.--This is the SCOT by all forsworn, that wedded[3] +the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled +horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Mr. WILKES.--This is the PATRIOT covered with scorn, that flattered +the Scot by all forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, +that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with +the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat +the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +CONSCIENCE.--This is the COCK that crowed in the morn, that waked +the Patriot covered with scorn, that flattered the Scot by all +forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + + +[1] George Nugent Grenville, Marquis of Buckingham. + +[2] The immaculate continence of the BRITISH SCIPIO, so strongly +insisted on by his friends, as constituting one of the most shining +ingredients of his own uncommon character, is only alluded to here +as a received fact, and not by any means as a reproach. + +[3] _Wedded_. This Gentleman's own term for a Coalition. + + + + +EPIGRAMS, + +_By_ SIR CECIL WRAY. + +First published in the Gentleman's Magazine, under the signatures +of DAMON, PHILOMELA, NOLENS VOLENS, and CRITANDER. + + +_To_ CELIA (_now Lady_ WRAY), _on Powdering her Hair._ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don't never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + +_To Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing a Party to go a-fishing for White +Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing, + You'd come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + +_On seeing a Ladybird fly off_ CELIA'_s Neck, after having perched +on it for many minutes._ + + I thought (God bless my soul!) + Yon ladybird her mole-- + I thought--but devil take the thing, + It proved my error--took to wing-- + +_A Thought on_ NEW MILK. + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar--soft as silk! + +_Familiar Verses, addressed to two Young Gentlemen at the_ Hounslow +Academy. + + Take notice, roguelings, I prohibit + Your walking underneath yon gibbet: + Have you not heard, my little ones, + Of _Raw Head and Bloody Bones?_ + How do you know, but that there fellow, + May step down quick, and you up swallow? + +EXTEMPORE. + +_To_ DELIA, _on seeing_ TWO CATS _playing together._ + + See, DELY, DELY, charming fair, + How Pusseys play upon that chair; + Then, DELY, change thy name to WRAY, + And thou and I will likewise play. + +_On a_ BLADE-BONE. + + Says I, one day, unto my wife, + I never saw in all my life + Such a blade-bone. Why so, my dear? + Says she. The matter's very clear, + Says I; for on it there's no meat, + For any body for to eat. + Indeed, my dear, says she, 'tis true, } + But wonder not, for, you know, you } + Can't eat your cake and have it too. } + +_An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my coals by pecks, that we + May have them fresh and fresh, d'ye see. + +_To my very learned and facetious friend_, S. ESTWICK, ESQ. +M.P. _and_ LL.D. _on his saying to me_, "What the D---l +noise was that?" + + Good Dr. ESTWICK, you do seek + To know what makes my shoe-soles creak? + They make a noise when they are dry; + And so do you, and so do I. + C. W. + + + + +LORD GRAHAM'S DIARY, + +DURING THE FIRST WEEK OF THE NEW PARLIAMENT. + +_May_ 20. Went down to the House--sworn in--odd faces--asked PEARSON +who the new people were--he seemed cross at my asking him, and did +not know--I took occasion to inspect the water-closets. + +N.B. To tell ROSE, that I found three cocks out of repair--didn't +know what to do--left my name at the DUKE OF QUEENSBERRY's--dined +at WHITE's--the pease tough--Lord APSLEY thought they ought to be +boiled in steam--VILLIERS very _warm_ in favour of _hot water_--PITT +for the new mode--and much talk of _taking the sense_ of the +_club_--but happily I prevented matters going to extremity. + +_May_ 21. Bought a tooth-pick-case, and attended at the +Treasury-Board--nothing at the House but swearing--rode to +WILBERFORCE's at WIMBLEDON--PITT, THURLOW, and DUNDAS, +_water-sucky_--we all wondered why perch have such large mouths, and +WILBERFORCE said they were like MULGRAVE's--red champagne rather +ropy--away at eight--THURLOW's horse started at a windmill--he off. + +N.B. To bring in an Act to encourage water-mills--THURLOW home in +a _dilly_--we after his horse--children crying, _Fox for +ever!_--DUNDAS stretching to whip them--he off too. + +_May_ 22. Sick all day--lay a bed--VILLIERS _bored_ me. + +23. Hyde-park--PITT--HAMILTON, &c. Most of us agreed it was right to +bow to Lord DELAVAL--PITT won't to any one, except the _new +Peers_--dined at PITT's--PITT's soup never salt enough--Why must +PRETTYMAN dine with us?--PITT says to-day he will _not_ support Sir +CECIL WRAY--THURLOW wanted to give the _old toast_--PITT +grave--probably this is the reason for letting PRETTYMAN stay. + +24. House--Westminster Election--we settled to always make a noise +when BURKE gets up--we ballotted among ourselves for a _sleeping +Committee_ in the Gallery----STEELE always to call us when PITT +speaks--Lord DELAVAL our _dear_ friend!--_Private_ message from ST. +JAMES's to PITT--He at last agrees to support SIR CECIL. + +_May_ 25. BANKES won't vote with us against GRENVILLE's Bill--English +obstinacy--the Duke of RICHMOND teazes us--nonsense about +consistency--what right has _he_ to talk of _it?_--but must not say +so.--DUNDAS thinks worse of the Westminster business than--but too +hearty to indulge absurd scruples. + +26. Court--King in high spirits, and attentive rather to the Duke of +GRAFTON--QUEEN more so to Lord CAMDEN--puzzles us all!--So it is +possible the Duke of RICHMOND will consent to leave the +_Cabinet_?--Dinner at DUNDAS's--too many things aukwardly served--Joke +about ROSE's thick legs, like ROBINSON's, in flannel. + + + + +EXTRACTS + +FROM THE SECOND VOLUME OF LORD MULGRAVE'S ESSAYS ON ELOQUENCE, LATELY +PUBLISHED. + +"We now come to speak of _Tropes_. Trope comes from the Greek word +_Trepo_, to turn. I believe that tropes can only exist in a vocal +language, for I do not recollect to have met with any among the +savages near the Pole, who converse only by signs; or if they used +any, I did not understand them. Aristotle is of opinion that horses +have not the use of tropes.--Dean Swift seems to be of a contrary +opinion; but be this as it may, tropes are of very great importance +in Parliament, and I cannot enough recommend them to my young readers. + +"_Tropes_ are of two kinds: 1st, such as tend to illustrate our +meaning; and 2dly, such as tend to render it obscure. The first are of +great use in the _sermo pedestris_; the second in the sublime. They +give the _os magna sonans_; or, as the same poet says in another +place, the _ore rotundo_; an expression, which shows, by the bye, that +it is as necessary to round your mouth, as to round your periods.--But +of this more hereafter, when I come to treat of _mouthing_, or, as the +Latins call it, _elocutio_. + +"In the course of my reflections on tropes, I have frequently lamented +the want of these embellishments in our modern _log-books_. Strabo +says they were frequently employed by the ancient sailors; nor can we +wonder at this difference, since our young seamen are such bad +scholars: not so in other countries; for I have seen children at the +island of _Zanti_, who knew more of Greek than any First Lieutenant. +Now to return to Tropes, and of their use in Parliament. I will give +you some examples of the most perfect kind in each species, and then +quit the subject; only observing, that the worst kind of tropes are +_puns_; and that tropes, when used in controversy, ought to be very +obscure; for many people do not know how to answer what they do not +understand. + +"Suppose I was desirous of pressing forward any measure, and that I +apprehended that the opposite party wished to delay it, I should +personify procrastination by one of the following manners: + +1. "_This measure appears to be filtered through the drip-stone of +procrastination._" This beautiful phrase was invented by a near +relation of mine, whose talents bid fair to make a most distinguished +figure in the senate. + +2. "_This is another dish cooked up by the procrastinating spirit._" +The boldness of this figure, which was invented by Mr. Drake, cannot +be too much admired. + +3. "_This appears to be the last hair in the tail of +procrastination._" + +"The _Master of the Rolls_, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker; but I think the two former instances much more +beautiful, inasmuch as the latter personification is drawn from a +dumb creature, which is not so fine a source of metaphor as a +Christian. + +"Having thus exhausted the subject of metaphors, I shall say a few +words concerning _similes_, the second of tropical figures, in point +of importance." + + + + +ANECDOTES OF MR. PITT. + + +As nothing which relates to this great man can be indifferent to +the public, we are happy in laying before our readers the following +particulars, the truth of which may be depended on:-- + +MR. PITT rises about _Nine_, when the weather is clear; but if it +should rain, Dr. PRETTYMAN advises him to lay about an hour longer. +The first thing he _does_ is to eat _no_ breakfast, that he may have +a better appetite for his dinner. About _ten_ he generally blows his +nose and cuts his toe-nails; and while he takes the exercise of his +_bidet_, Dr. PRETTYMAN reads to him the different petitions and +memorials that have been presented to him. About _eleven_ his valet +brings in Mr. ATKINSON and a WARM SHIRT, and they talk over the _New +Scrip_, and other matters of finance. Mr. ATKINSON has said to _his_ +confidential friends round 'Change, that Mr. PITT always speaks to him +with great affability. At _twelve_ Mr. PITT retires to a water-closet, +adjoining to which is a small cabinet, from whence Mr. JENKINSON +confers with him on the secret instructions from BUCKINGHAM-HOUSE. +After this, Mr. PITT takes a long lesson of dancing; and Mr. GALLINI +says, that if he did not turn in his toes, and hold down his head, +he would be a very good dancer. At _two_ Mr. WILBERFORCE comes in, +and they both play with Mr. PITT's black dog, whom they are very +fond of, because he is like Lord MULGRAVE in the face, and barks out +of time to the organs that pass in the street. After this Mr. PITT +rides. We are credibly informed, that he often pats his horse; and, +indeed, he is remarkably fond of all _dumb creatures_ both in and out +of Parliament. At _four_ he sleeps.--Mr. PITT eats very heartily, +drinks one bottle of port, and two when he _speaks_; so that we may +hope that Great Britain will long be blessed with the superintendance +of this virtuous and able young Minister!!! + + + + +LETTER FROM A NEW MEMBER TO HIS FRIEND IN THE COUNTRY. + + +MY DEAR SIR, + +As you are so anxious and inquisitive to know the principal +circumstances that have occurred to my observation, since my +introduction to the House of Commons, I think it my duty to give +you what satisfaction I am able. As you know, my dear friend, +how little I dreamt of being called out of my humble sphere of life, +to the rank of a senator (and still less at a time when so many +considerable gentlemen of education, worth, and property had been +driven from their seats in Parliament), you will not wonder that it +required some time before I could rid myself of the awe and +embarrassment that I felt on first entering the walls of that +august assembly. Figure to yourself, my good Sir, how very aukward +and distressing it was to me to reflect, that I was now become +a member of the British Senate; picked and culled out, as our +inimitable Premier assured us, by the free, unbiassed voice of +the people, for our singular abilities and love of our country, +to represent the wisdom of the nation at the present critical +juncture. Would to God I possessed a pen that might enable me to +celebrate, in a style equal to his merits, the praises of this prodigy +of a Minister, whom I can never speak or think of without enthusiasm! +Oh! had you but heard his speech on the day of our meeting, when he +addressed himself to the young members in a strain of eloquence +that could not fail to make a lasting impression on our minds! +Not one of us, I assure you, who did not feel the warmest emotions +of respect and gratitude, and begin to entertain a confidence in his +own talents for business, and a consciousness of his zeal for +the public service, that would probably have never entered into +the head of a simple individual, if this excellent young man had +not condescended to point out to us those qualities in such strong +and flattering colours. + +Such extraordinary marks of condescension surprized me not a little, +from a person whom I had been used to hear so generally (but no doubt +most falsely) censured, for upstart pretension and overbearing +arrogance; and I could not sufficiently admire the candour he shewed, +in giving such perfect credit to the talents and virtues of so many +strangers, the greatest part of whose faces were even unknown to him. +Besides, the compliment appeared to me the more generous, as I had but +that very morning received a promise from Government to refund me +the heavy charges and trouble they had led me into at my late +election, which you very well know, notwithstanding the help of Mr. +ROBINSON, had very near ruined my affairs, and proved the destruction +of myself and family. + +As you desire to have my impartial sentiments respecting the eloquence +of Mr. PITT and Mr. FOX, I must fairly own, that I cannot hear, +without indignation, any comparison made between 'em;--and, +I assure you, Mr. PITT has a very decided preference in the opinion +of most of the new members, especially among us COUNTRY GENTLEMEN, +who, though we never heard any thing like public speaking before +in our lives, have too much sense and spirit to agree in this +particular with the generality of the public.--We could all see +Mr. PITT was an orator in a moment. The dignity of his deportment, +when he first rises from the Treasury Bench, with his head and +eyes erect, and arms extended, the regular poize of the same action +throughout the whole of his speech, the equal pitch of his voice, +which is full as sonorous and emphatic in expressions of the least +weight; above all, his words, which are his principal excellence, +and are really finer and longer than can be conceived, and clearly +prove him, in my judgment, to be far superior to every other orator. +Mr. FOX, it seems, in perfect despair of imitating the expression +and manner of his rival, never attempts to soar above a language +that is perfectly plain, obvious, and intelligible, to the meanest +understanding; whereas, I give you my word, I have more than once +met with several who have frankly owned to me, that Mr. PITT's +eloquence was often above their capacity to comprehend. In addition +to this, it is observable, that Mr. PITT has the happy art of +expressing himself, even upon the most trifling occasion, in +at least three times as many words as any other person uses in +an argument of the utmost importance, which is so evident an advantage +over all his adversaries, that I wonder they persist to engage in +so unequal a combat. + +I shall take an early opportunity of communicating to you some +further observations on this subject: in the mean time believe me, + + Dear Sir, + With the truest regard, + Your's, &c. &c. &c. +_Cocoa Tree, May_ 29, 1784. + + + + +THE +POLITICAL RECEIPT BOOK, +FOR THE YEAR 1784. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PREMIER. + +Take a man with a great quantity of that sort of words which produce +the greatest effect upon the _many_, and the least upon the _few_: +mix them with a large portion of affected candour and ingenuousness, +introduced in a haughty and contemptuous manner. Let there be a great +abundance of falsehood, concealed under an apparent disinterestedness +and integrity; and the two last to be the most professed when +the former is most practised. Let his engagements and declarations, +however solemnly made, be broken and disregarded, if he thinks he can +procure afterwards a popular indemnity for illegality and deceit. +He must subscribe to the doctrine of PASSIVE OBEDIENCE, and to +the exercise of patronage independent of his approbation; and be +careless of creating the most formidable enemies, if he can gratify +the personal revenge and hatred of those who employ him, even at +the expence of public ruin and general confusion. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF STATE. + +Take a man in a violent passion, or a man that never has been in one; +but the first is the best. Let him be concerned in making an +ignominious peace, the articles of which he could not comprehend, +and cannot explain. Let him speak loud, and yet never be heard; +and to be the kind of man for a SECRETARY OF STATE when nobody else +will accept it. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL. + +Take a man who all his life loved office, merely for its emolument; +and when measures which he had approved were eventually unfortunate, +let him be notorious for relinquishing his share of the responsibility +of them; and be stigmatized, for political courage in the period +of prosperity, and for cowardice when there exists but the appearance +of danger. + + +HOW TO MAKE A CHANCELLOR. + +Take a man of great abilities, with a heart as black as his +countenance. Let him possess a rough inflexibility, without +the least tincture of generosity or affection, and be as manly +as oaths and ill manners can make him. He should be a man who +will act politically with all parties, hating and deriding every +one of the individuals which compose them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A MASTER OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a man of a busy, meddling, turn of mind, with just as much parts +as will make him troublesome, but never respectable. Let him be +so perfectly callous to a sense of personal honour, and to the +distinction of public fame, as to be marked for the valour of +insulting where it cannot be revenged[1]; and, if a case should +arise, where he attempts to injure reputation, because it is dignified +and absent, he should possess _discretion_ enough to apologise and +to recant, if it is afterwards dictated to him to do so, +notwithstanding any previously-declared resolutions to the contrary. +Such a man will be found to be the most fit for servitude in times of +disgrace and degradation. + + +HOW TO MAKE A TREASURER OF THE NAVY. + +Take a man, composed of most of the ingredients necessary to enable +him to attack and defend the very same principles in politics, or +any party or parties concerned in them, at all times, and upon all +occasions. Mix with these ingredients a very large quantity of +the root of interest, so that the juice of it may be always sweet +and uppermost. Let him be one who avows a pride in being so necessary +an instrument for every political measure, as to be able to extort +those honours and emoluments from the weakness of a government, which +he had been deliberately refused, at a time when it would have been +honourable to have obtained them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A LORD OF THE TREASURY. + +Take the most stupid man you can find, but who can make his signature; +and from ignorance in _every thing_ will never contradict you in +_any thing_. He should not have a brother in the church, for if he +has, he will most probably abandon or betray you. Or, take a man of +fashion, with any sort of celebrity: if he has accustomed himself to +arguments, though the dullness can only be measured by the length of +them, he will serve to speak _against time_, with a certainty in that +case of never being answered. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. + +Take a pleading _Country Attorney_, without passion, and without +parts. Let him be one who will seize the first opportunity of +renouncing his connection with the first man who draws him out of +obscurity and serves him. If he has no affections or friendships, so +much the better; he will be more ready to contribute to his own +advantage. He should be of a temper so pliable, and a perseverance so +ineffectual, as to lead his master into troubles, difficulties, and +ruin, when he thinks he is labouring to overcome them. Let him be a +man, who has cunning enough, at the same time, to prey upon and +deceive frankness and confidence; and who, when he can no longer avail +himself of both, will sacrifice even his character in the cause of +treachery, and prefer the interests resulting from it, to the virtuous +distinctions of honour and gratitude. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY-AT-WAR. + +Take a man that will take any thing. Let him possess all the negative +virtues of being able to do no harm, but at the same time can do no +good; for they are qualifications of a courtly nature, and may in time +recommend him to a situation something worse, or something better. + + +HOW TO MAKE AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +Take a little ugly man, with an _eye_ to his preferment. It is not +requisite that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a +tolerable politician; but in order to qualify himself for an _English +Judge_, he should first be a _Welch_ one. He must have docility +sufficient to do any thing; and, if a period should arrive, when power +has popularity enough to make rules and laws for the evident purpose +of gratifying malignity, he should be one who should be ready to +advise or consent to the creation of new cases, and be able to defend +new remedies for them, though they militate against every principle +of reason, equity, and justice. + +N.B. The greatest part of this Receipt would make a MASTER OF THE +ROLLS. + + +HOW TO MAKE A WARDROBE-KEEPER, OR PRIVY-PURSE. + +Take the most supercilious fool in the nation, and let him be in +confidence in proportion to his ignorance. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SURVEYOR-GENERAL OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a Captain in the _Navy_, as being best acquainted with the +_Army_; he should have been a few years _at sea_, in order to qualify +him for the direction of works _on shore_; and let him be one who will +sacrifice his connections with as much ease as he would renounce +his profession. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PEER. + +Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with +one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. +Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage +to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take +the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly +let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it. + + +HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE. + +Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason +for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not +possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public +detestation. His pride and avarice should increase with his +prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and despise the natural +claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he +will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a +cabal, which has the courage to do mischief, and the cowardice of not +being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other +importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes +evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck +of public ruin. + +[1] "What care I for the King's Birth-day!" + + + + +HINTS +FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER'S PORTER. + + +To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged +with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD +HOTHAM.--WILBE must have _two_ bows.--ATKINSON to be shewn into the +anti-chamber--he will find amusement in reading LAZARRELLO DE TORMEZ, +or the _complete Rogue_.--If Lord APSLEY and Mr. PERCIVAL come from +the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the room where the large +_looking-glasses_ are fixed--in that case they will not regret +waiting--Don't let LORD MAHON be detained an instant at the door, the +pregnant young lady opposite having been sufficiently frightened +already!!!--JACK ROBINSON to be shewn into the study, as the private +papers were all removed this morning--Let Lord LONSDALE have _my +Lord_, and _your Lordship_, repeated to his ear as often as +possible--the apartment hung with _garter-blue_ is proper for his +reception!--The other new Peers to be greeted only plain _Sir!_ that +they may remember their late _ignobility_, and feel new gratitude to +the _benefactor of honours!_--You may, as if upon recollection, +address some of the last list, _My Lord!_--and ask their names--it +will be pleasing to them to sound out their own titles.--Lord ELIOT is +to be an exception, as he will tediously go through every degree of +his dignity in giving an answer.--All letters from BERKELEY-SQUARE +to be brought in without mentioning Lord SHELBURNE's name, or even +Mr. ROSE's.--The Treasury Messenger to carry the _red box_, as usual, +to CHARLES JENKINSON before it is sent to Buckingham-House.--Don't +blunder a second time, and question Lord MOUNTMORRES as to the life +of a _hackney chairman_ - it is wrong to judge by appearances!--Lord +GRAHAM may be admitted to the library - he can't read, and therefore +won't derange the books. + + + + +A TALE. + + + At BROOKES's once, it so fell out, + The box was push'd with glee about; + With mirth reciprocal inflam'd, + 'Twas said they rather play'd than gam'd; + A general impulse through them ran, + And seem'd t' actuate every man: + But as all human pleasures tend + At some sad moment to an end, + The hour at last approach'd, when lo! + 'Twas time tor every one to go. + Now for the first time it was seen, + A certain sum unown'd had been; + To no man's spot directly fixt, + But plac'd--ambiguously betwixt: + So doubtfully indeed it lay, + That none with confidence could say + This cash is mine--I'm certain on't-- + But most declined with--"Sir, I won't"-- + "I can't in conscience urge a right, + To what I am not certain quite." + --NORTHUMBRIA'S DUKE, who wish'd to put + An end to this polite dispute, + Whose generous nature yearn'd to see + The smallest seeds of enmity, + Arose and said--"this cash is mine-- } + For being ask'd to-day to dine, } + You see I'm furbelow'd and fine, } + With full-made sleeves and pendant lace; + Rely on't, this was just the case, + That when by chance my arm I mov'd, + The money from me then I shov'd; + This clearly shews how it was shifted," + Thus said, the rhino then he lifted;-- + "Hold, hold, my Lord," says thoughtless HARE, + Who never made his purse his care; + A man who thought that money's use + Was real comfort to produce, + And all the pleasures scorn'd to know + Which from its _snug_ enjoyments flow; + Such as still charm their gladden'd eyes, + Who feel the bliss of avarice. + "Hold, hold, my Lord, how is it known + This cash is certainly your own? + We each might urge as good a plea, + Or WYNDHAM, CRAUFURD, SMITH, or me; + But we, though less it were to blame, + Disdain'd so pitiful a claim; + Then here let me be arbitrator-- + I vote the money to the waiter," + Thus oft will generous folly think: + But prudence parts not so with chink. + On this occasion so it was, + For gravely thus my Lord Duke says: + "Consider, Sir, how large the sum, + To full eight guineas it will come: + Shall I, for your quaint verbal play, + Consign a whole estate away? + Unjust, ridiculous, absurd, + I will not do it, on my word; + Yet rather than let fools deride, + I give my _fiat_ to divide; + So 'twixt the waiter and myself, + Place equal portions of the pelf; + Thus eighty shillings give to RALPH, + To ALNWICK's DUKE the other half." + HARE and the rest (unthinking croud!) + At this decision laugh'd aloud: + "Sneer if you like," exclaim'd the Duke, + Then to himself his portion took; + And spite of all the witless rakes, + The Peer and Porter part the stakes. + + +MORALS. + + I. This maxim, then, ye spendthrifts know, + 'Tis money makes the mare to go. + + II. By no wise man be this forgot; + A penny sav'd's a penny got. + + III. This rule keep ever in your head; + A half-loaf's better than no bread. + + IV. Though some may rail, and others laugh, + In your own hand still keep the staff. + + V. Forget not, Sirs, since Fortune's fickle, + Many a little makes a mickle. + + VI. By gay men's counsels be not thwarted. + Fools and their money soon are parted. + + VII. Save, save, ye prudent--who can know + How soon the high may be quite low? + + VIII. Of Christian virtues hear the sum, + True charity begins at home. + + IX. Neglect not farthings, careless elves; + Shillings and pounds will guard themselves. + + X. Get cash with honour if you can, + But still to get it be your plan. + + + + +DIALOGUE +BETWEEN A CERTAIN PERSONAGE AND HIS MINISTER. + +IMITATED FROM THE NINTH ODE OF HORACE, BOOK III. + + _Donec gratus eram tibi._ + +K----- When heedless of your birth and name, + For pow'r yon barter'd future fame, + On that auspicious day, + Of K--gs I reign'd supremely blest: + Not HASTINGS rul'd the plunder'd East + With more despotic sway. + +P--TT. When only on my favoured head + Your smiles their royal influence shed, + Then was the son of CH--TH--M + The nation's pride, the public care, + P--TT and Prerogative their pray'r, + While we, Sir, both laugh'd at 'em. + + +K----- JENKY, I own, divides my heart, + Skill'd in each deep and secret art + To keep my C--MM--NS down: + His views, his principles are mine; + For these I'd willingly resign + My Kingdom and my Crown. + +P--TT. As much as for the public weal, + My anxious bosom burns with zeal + For pious Parson WYV--LL + For him I'll fret, and fume, and spout, + Go ev'ry length--except go out, + For that's to me the Devil! + +K----- What if, our sinking cause to save, + We both our jealous strife should wave, + And act our former farce on: + If I to JENKY were more stern, + Would you, then, generously turn + Your back upon the Parson? + +P--TT. Tho' to support his patriot plan + I'm pledg'd as _Minister_ and _Man_, + This storm I hope to weather; + And since your Royal will is so, + _Reforms_ and the _Reformers_ too, + May all be damn'd together! + + + + +Prettymaniana. + +EPIGRAMS ON THE REV. DR. PR--TT--MAN'S DUPLICITY. + + +I. + + That PRETTYMAN's so pale, so spare, + No cause for wonder now affords; + He lives, alas! on empty fare, + Who lives by _eating his own 'words!_ + +II. + + In BAYES's burlesque, though so strange it appear'd, + That PRINCE PRETTYMAN's self should PRINCE PRETTYMAN _kill_; + _Our_ Prettyman FURTHER to go has not fear'd, + But in DAMNING himself, he extended his skill! + +III. + + Undaunted PITT, against the State to plot, + Should int'rest spur, or passion urge ye; + Dread not the hapless exit of LA MOTTE, + Secure in _Benefit of Clergy!_ + +IV. + + That against my fair fame + You devise so much blame, + Cries the Priest, with a damn me, what care I? + Since the gravest Divine, + Tells a lie worse than mine, + When he cries, "_Nolo Episcopari!_" + +V. + + How wisely PITT, for different ends, + Can marshal his obedient friends! + When only _time_ he wants, not sense, + MULGRAVE vents _copious impotence_. + If demi-falsehood must be tried, + By ROSE the quibbling task's supply'd-- + But for the more accomplish'd lie, + Who with meek PR--TT--MAN shall vie? + +VI. +(PR--TT--MAN _loquitur_.) + + Although, indeed, 'tis truly said, + The various principles of _Trade_ + We are not very glib in; + Yet surely none will this deny, + Few know so well as PITT, or I, + To manufacture _fibbing_. + +VII. + + A horrible fib that a Priest should have told, + Seems to some people's thinking excessively odd, + Yet sure there's no maxim more certain or old, + Than "_The nearer the Church still the farther from God._" + +VIII. + + Why should such malice at the Parson fly? + For though he _spoke_, he scorn'd to write, a lye. + +IX. + + While the Wits and the Fools Parson PRETTY belabour, + With--"Thou shalt not false witness; set up 'gainst thy neighbour," + The text and the fact (cries the Priest) disagree. + For in Downing-street _I_, in Great George-street lives _He_. + +X. + + What shall reward bold PRETTY's well-tim'd sense, } + For turning new an IRISH _Evidence_? } + An IRISH _Bishoprick_'s the recompence! } + +XI. + + What varied fates the same offence assail! + PRETTY, install'd--and ATKINSON, in jail. + Both scorn alike the laws that truth maintains; + Yet one, a Prebend, one, a Prison gains. + This mounts a _stall_, the _pillory_ that ascends; + For public, one, and one for private ends. + The first gets ample scope _our_ ears to pain; + The other scarcely can _his own_ retain: + Just Heav'n, reverse the doom!--To punish each, + To ATKINSON alone, let PRETTY preach! + +XII. + + How happy, alas! had it been for poor PITT, + If WYVILL, like PRETTYMAN, never had writ! + +XIII. + + ------_Scelera ipsa nefasque + Hc mercede placent_-------- + + Cries PRETTYMAN, "Consider, Sir, + My sacred cloth, and character." + The indignant Minister replied, + "This ne'er had been, had ORDE ne'er lyed." + The patient Priest at last relented; + And _all his Master wish'd_, invented; + Then added, with a saint-like whine, + "But the next Mitre _must_ be mine!" + +XIV. + + For _tongue_ or for _eye_, + Who with PRETTY can vie? + Sure such organs must save him much trouble; + For of labour not loth, + Tis the way with them both, + Their functions to execute----_double!_ + +XV. + + The days of miracle, 'twas thought, were past; + (Strange from what cause so wild an error sprung) + But now convinc'd, the world allows at last, + PRETTY's still favour'd with a--_cloven tongue!_ + +XVI. + + _Faith in the Church_, all grave Divines contend, + Is the chief hold whence future hopes depend. + How hard then BRITAIN's lot!--for who hath _faith_ + To credit _half_ what Doctor PRETTY saith? + +XVII. + +(By SIR CECIL WRAY.) + + Oh! if I had thought that PRETTY could lye, + I'd a hired him, I would, for my Scrutiny! + My poor Scrutiny!--My _dear_ Scrutiny! + My heart it down sinks--I wish I could die! + +XVIII. + +(By SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY.) + + Lord BACON hang'd poor HOGG, + For murd'ring, without pity, man; + And so should PITT, by Gog, + That kill-truth, Doctor PRETTYMAN-- + For say I will, spite of hip wig, + He's far below the _learned Pig!_ + +XIX. + +(By THE SAME.) + + Says WRAY to me, which is most witty, + The learned Pig, or Parson PRETTY? + Says I, I thinks, the latter is more wiser; + PIGGY tells truth alone;--but PRETTY lyes, Sir. + +XX. + +(NOT by THE SAME.) + + Three Parsons for three different patrons writ, + For ROCKINGHAM, for PORTLAND, and for PITT + The first, in _speaking_ truth alone surpass'd; + The next could _write_ it too--not so the last.-- + The pride of Churchmen to be beat was loth-- + So PRETTYMAN's the opposite to both! + +XXI. + + How much must IRELAND, PITT and PRETTY prize! + Who swear, at all events, to _equal--lyes_. + +XXII. + + ------_In vino Veritas_------ + + PRETTY, the other night, was tripping caught-- + Forgive him, PITT; he'll not repeat the fault-- + The best may err--misled by wine and youth-- + His Rev'rence drank too hard; and told--_the truth!_ + Ev'n thou, should generous wine o'ercome thy sense, + May'st rashly stumble on the same offence. + +XXIII. + + There are who think all State affairs + The worst of wicked worldly cares, + To mingle with the priestly leaven; + Yet sure the argument's uncouth---- + PRETTY shall _doubly_ spread the truth, + A Minister of Earth and Heaven. + +XXIV. + + While modern Statesmen glean, from priestly tribes, + Rev'rend _Commis_, and sanctimonious scribes; + 'Tis love of _truth_--yet vain the hope, alas! + To make this _Holy Writ_ for _Gospel_ pass. + +XXV. + + Above the pride of worldly fame or show, + A virtuous Priest should upwards turn his eyes---- + Thus PRETT contemns all _character_ below, + And thinks of nothing but the way to _rise_. + +XXVI. + + 'Gainst PRETTY's unholiness vain 'tis to rail; + With a courtly Divine that's of little avail; + What Parson polite, would not virtue offend, + And maintain a _great_ falsehood, to save a _great_ friend? + +XXVII. + + If St. PETER was made, + Of Religion the head, + For boldly his master denying; + Sure, PRETTY may hope + At least to be Pope, + For his greater atchievements in lying. + +XXVIII. + + Says PRETTYMAN, "I'll fib, d'ye see, + If you'll reward me freely." + "Lye on (cries PITT) and claim of me + The Bishoprick of E--LYE." + +XXIX. + + 'Tis said the _end_ may sanctify the _means_, + And pious frauds denote a special grace; + Thus PRETTY's lye his master nobly screens-- + Himself, good man! but seeks a _better place_. + +XXX. + + "Sons of PATRICK! (cries ORDE) set up shop in your bog, + And you'll ruin the trade of JOHN BULL and NICK FROG." + "That's a lye (replies PITT) we shall gain by their riches; + If we wear IRISH _shirts_, they must wear ENGLISH _breeches_" + "You both lye (exclaims PRETTY) but I will lye too; + And, compar'd with my lye, what you say will seem true!" + +XXXI. + + For pert malignity observ'd alone, + In all things else unnotic'd, and unknown; + Obscurely odious, PRETTY pass'd his days, + Till more inventive talents won our lays. + "Now write, he cries, an Epigram's my pride: + Who wou'd have known me, if I ne'er had ly'd?" + + +XXXII. + + With pious whine, and hypocritic snivel, + Our fathers said, "_Tell truth_, and _shame the Devil!_" + A nobler way bold PR----TT----N is trying, + He seeks to _shame_ the Devil--by outlying, + + +XXXIII. +(In answer to a former.) + + No _cloven tongue_ the Doctor boasts from heav'n, + Such gifts but little wou'd the Doctor boot; + For preaching _Truth_ the _cloven tongues_ were giv'n, + His lyes demonstrate more the _cloven foot_. + + +XXXIV. + + Maxims, says PRETT, and adages of old, + Were circumscrib'd, though clever; + Thus Truth they taught, _not always_ should be told; + But I maintain, _not ever_. + + +XXXV. + + In the drama of CONGREVE, how charm'd do we read + Of _Spintext_ the _Parson_, and _Maskwell_ the _Cheat_, + But in life would you study them closer, indeed, + For equal originals--see _Downing-street_. + + +XXXVI. + + PITT and PRETTY came from College + To serve themselves, and serve the state; + And the world must all acknowledge + Half is done--so half may wait: + For PRETTY says, 'tis rather new, + When even _half_ they say--is _true_. + + +XXXVII. + The Devil's a dealer in lyes, and we see + That two of a trade never yet could agree; + Then DOCTOR proceed, and d--m------n despise, + What Devil would take such a rival in lyes. + + +XXXVIII. + +GRAND TREATY OF LYING. + + The Devil and PRETTY a treaty have made, + On a permanent footing to settle their trade; + 'Tis the Commerce of Lying,--and this is the law; + The Devil _imports_ him all lyes that are raw_;_ + Which, check'd by no _docket_, unclogg'd with a fee, + The _Priest_ manufactures, and vends _duty free_; + Except where the lye gives his conscience such trouble, + The _internal_ expence should have recompence double. + Thus to navigate falsehood no bar they'll devise; + But Hell must become the EMPORIUM of Lyes. + Nay, the Bishops themselves, when in pulpit they bark it, + Must supply their consumption, from Satan's _own market_, + While _reciprocal tribute_ is paid for the whole + In a surplusage _d--mn--g_ of P--TTY--'s soul. + + + + +FOREIGN EPIGRAMS. + + +I. +_By the_ Chevalier de BOUFFLERS. + + "PRETTIMAN est menteur, il s'est moqu de nous" + "(Se crient en courroux tous les sots d'Angleterre)" + Calmez vous donc, Messieurs--eh! comment savez vous + Si c'est bien un mensonge, ou si c'est un mystre? + + +II. +_By_ Professor HEYNE, _of the_ UNIVERSITY _of_ GOTTINGEN. + + _In Dominum_ PITTUM _Doctoremque_ PRETTYMANNUM, + _Figulus_ loquitur--Scena, Vicus, vulgo dictus _Downing_. + Vivitur hic, cives, pacto quo denique? Rhetor + Ecce loqui refugit; scribere scriba negat. + + +III. +BY THE SAME. + + Falsiloquusne Puer magis, an fallacior ille + Scriba? Puer fallax, scribaque falsiloquus. + + +IV. +_By_ COMTE CASIMIR, _a descendant of the famous_ CASIMIR, _the great +Latin Poet of_ POLAND. + + BELLUS HOMO atque _pius_ vis idem dicier--At tu + Mendax, unde Pius? Bellus es unde, Strabo? + + +V. +_By_ FATHER MOONY, _Parish Priest of_ KILGOBBIN. + + A Mick na braaga Streepy poga ma Thone + Na vuishama da Ghob, Oghone! Oghone! + + +VI. +[1]_By_ EUGENIUS, _Archbishop of_ SLAVENSK _and_ KHERSON, +_in Russia, and Author of a Translation of_ VIRGIL'S GEORGICS _into_ +Greek Hexameters. + + {Pseudon ouch iereus aischynetai. Eithe s alethos, + O pseudon iereu, kai pseudierea legoimi.} + + Falsa-dicens Sacerdos non erubescit. Utinam te ver + O falsa-dicens Sacerdos, et fals-te-sacerdotem-dicentem appellarem. + + +VII. +BY THE SAME. + + {Pseudon outos alos ou paucetai. En de genomai + Teioud autod egon mot episkopos, ou men easo, + O pseudon d iereus kai pseudiereus tach an eie.} + + Falsa dicere ille omnino non desinet. Si vero fierem + Talis vlri ipse ego quandoque Episcopus, non equidem sinerem + Falsa-dicens autem sacerdos et qui-se-falso-sacerdotem diceret cito + foret. + + +VIII. +_By_ Mons. VILLOISON, _the celebrated Grecian and French Editor +of_ LONGINUS, &c. &c. + + Ad amicum quendam qui DOCTOREM PRETTIMANNUM _sacerdotem_ appellaret. + + {a. Pseudein ouch IERON. ti de ton pseudonth IEREA + Chre ste kaelin; b. IEREUS k ouch IEROS legetai.} + + a. Mentiri non _sacrum_. Quid ver mentientem _sacerdotem_ + Oportet te vocare? b. _Sacerdos_ & non _sacer_ dicitur. + + +IX. +MADRIGALE--_By_ SIGNOR CAPONINI _of_ ROME. + + In quel bel d, ch'il DIO del VERO nacque, + Per tutto il mondo tacque + Ogni Oracol mendace in ogni fano. + Cosi va detto, ma si e detto in vano. + Ecco, in quest' isola remota, anch'ora + L'Oracola s'adora + D'un giovinetto Febo, che a le genti + Per un suo sacerdote manda fnora + Quel, ch'ei risponde a lusingar lor menti; + In guisa, che puo far chiamar verace + L'Oracolo de' Grechi pi mendace. + + +X. +_By_ Dr. CORTICELLI _of_ BOLOGNA. + + Io non ho mai veduto un s bel PRETTIMANNO, + Con un s gran Perrucho, e d' occhi s _squintanno_. + + +XI. +_In the language of_ OTAHEITE.--_By M. de_ BOUGAINVILLE. +(_With an interlined Translation, according to Capt._ COOK's GLOSSARY.) + + [2]Prettyman _to call liar interjection + Peetimai_, tooo too, ooo, taata, Allaheueeai! + + _Insincere man to cuff liar nasty_ Prettyman + Hamaneeno, eparoo, taata, erepo, _Peetimai_. + + +XII. +_In the language of_ TERRA INCOCNITA (_viz_. AUSTRALIS), _by the noted +Mr._ BRUCE. + +[A translation is requested by the earliest discoverer, the original +being left at the publisher's for his inspection by the author, who +has most kindly communicated the following representation of the +genuine words, adapted to the ENGLISH type.--May we not presume to +suggest the infinite service Mr. M'PHERSON would render to his +country, were he generously to embark in the first outward-bound ship +for TERRA AUSTRALIS--No man in EUROPE being so well qualified for the +useful station of universal linguist and decypherer to the +savages--"_I decus, I nostrum._"] + + HOT. TOT. + HUM. SCUM. + KIKEN- ASS. + HOT. TOT. + ROW. ROW. + KIKEN. ASS. + QUIP. LUNK. + NUN. SKUMP. + KISSEN. ASS. + TARRAH. DUD. + LICEN. TOCK. + KIKEN. ASS. TOT. + +We must apologize to several of our more erudite correspondents, for +suspending some short time the publication of their most curious +epigrams on the Doctor. We have not the least objection to the extra +expence necessarily incurred on the present occasion, by the purchase +of a variety of antique types. Nay, we have actually contracted with +the celebrated CASLON, for the casting of a proper quantity of the +COPTIC and RUNIC characters, in order to the due representation of +the PRETTYMANIANA, communicated by Professor WHITE, and Mons. MAILLET. +As it might be some time, however, before Mr. CASLON, even with the +assistance of Mess. FRY and Son's foundery, can furnish us with the +PERSIC, SYRIAC, and CHACHTAW types, we cannot promise the Doctor +the insertion of the GENTOO REBUS, or the NEW ZEALAND ACROSTIC in the +present edition. + + +[1] We cannot withhold from the good Bishop our particular thanks for +his excellent Haxameters, which breathe indeed the spirit both of +piety and poetry. We have taken the liberty of subjoining a literal +translation, in Latin Prose, to the Epigrams of EUGENIUS, as well as +to the distich of Mons. VILLOISON, for the accommodation of the young +Students at our Universities. + +[2] PEETIMAI is wonderfully near the original PRETTYMAN, considering +that, after every effort, the inhabitants of OTAHEITE could not +approximate to the name of BANKS nearer than OPANO--nor of COOK, +than TOOTE. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. + + +Missing from the genealogies of the new Peers--three FATHERS--five +MOTHERS--nine GRANDFATHERS--fourteen GRANDMOTHERS--twenty +GREAT-GRANDFATHERS--and nearly twice the number of GREAT-GRANDMOTHERS--also +some COMPLETE GENERATIONS OF ANCESTORS. + +If any person can give notice at the HERALD's OFFICE of any Fathers, +Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, worth owning, of the names of C------, D------, +H------, L------, P------, E------, &c. &c. &c. so as that the said +Fathers, Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, may be taken and restored to the advertisers, the +person so informing, for every such notice, shall receive ONE GUINEA +reward, and no questions shall be asked. + +And if any person will undertake to find ANCESTORS BY THE GENERATION, +for every regular descent of not less than _three_, and not more than +_five_, he shall receive TWO GUINEAS each ancestor; and for every +regular descent of not less than _six_, and not more than _ten_, he +shall receive FIVE GUINEAS each ancestor, and so in proportion for +any greater number. + +A HANDSOME COMPLIMENT will also be given, in addition to the rewards +above proposed, for ANCESTORS who distinguished themselves under +JAMES II. CHARLES II. and CHARLES I. in the cause of PREROGATIVE. +Likewise an extraordinary price will be paid for the discovery of +any ANCESTOR of REMOTE ANTIQUITY and HIGH FAMILY; such as the immortal +DUKE ROLLO, companion of WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR, and founder of the +present illustrious family of ROLLE. + +N.B. No greater reward will be offered, as THE HERALDS have received +directions for making NEW. + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE FIRST. + +----But what says my good LORD BISHOP OF LONDON to this same +WESTMINSTER SCRUTINY--this daily combination of rites, _sacred_ and +_profane_--ceremonies _religious_ and _political_ under his hallowed +roof of ST. ANN'S CHURCH, SOHO? Should his Lordship be unacquainted +with this curious process, let him know it is briefly this:--At +_ten_ o'clock the HIGH BAILIFF opens his inquisition in the VESTRY, +for the PERDITION OF VOTES, where he never fails to be honoured +with a crowded audience.--At _eleven_ o'clock the HIGH PRIEST mounts +the rostrum in the CHURCH for the SALVATION OF SOULS, without a +single _body_ to attend him; even his corpulent worship, the clerk, +after the first introductory AMEN, filing off to the Vestry, to lend +a hand towards reaping a quicker harvest!--The alternate vociferations +from Church to Vestry, during the different SERVICES, were found to +cross each other sometimes in responses so apposite, that a gentleman +who writes shorthand was induced to take down part of the +Church-medley-dialogue of one day, which he here transcribes for general +information, on a subject of such singular importance, _viz_. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I cannot see that _this here fellow_ is a just vote. + +CURATE.--"_In thy sight shall no man living be justified._" + +Mr. FOX.--I despise the pitiful machinations of my opponents, knowing + the just cause of my electors must in the end prevail. + +CURATE.--"_And with thy favourable kindness shalt thou defend him as + with a shield._" + +WITNESS.--He swore d--n him if he did not give Fox a plumper! + +CLERK--"_Good Lord! deliver us._" + +Mr. MORGAN.--I stand here as Counsel for Sir CECIL WRAY. + +CURATE.--"_A general pestilence visited the land, serpents and_ FROGS + _defiled the holy temple._" + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--Mr. HIGH BAILIFF, the audacity of that fellow opposite + to me would almost justify my chastising him in this sacred place; + but I will content myself with rolling his heavy head in the + neighbouring kennel. + +CURATE.--"_Give peace in our time, O Lord!_" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I rise only to say thus much, that is, concerning + myself--though as for the matter of myself, I don't care, Mr. HIGH + BAILIFF, much about it-- + +Mr. FOX.--Hear! hear! hear! + +CURATE.--"_If thou shalt see the ass of him that hateth thee lying + under his burthen, thou shalt surely help him._" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I trust--I dare say--at least I hope I may venture + to think--that my Right Hon. friend--I should say enemy--fully + comprehends what I have to offer in my own defence. + +CURATE.--"_As for me I am a worm, and no man; a very scorn of men, + and the outcast of the people!--fearfulness and trembling are come + upon me, and an horrible dread overwhelmed me!!!_" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--As that _fellow there_ says he did not vote for Fox, + who did he poll for? + +CURATE.--"BARRABAS!--_now Barrabas was a robber._" + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE SECOND. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--This here case is, as I may say, rather _more_ muddier +than I could wish. + +DEPUTY GROJAN.--_Ce n'est pas clair_--I _tink_, Sir, with you. + +CURATE.--"_Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord!_" + +Mr. FOX.--Having thus recapitulated all the points of so contradictory +an evidence, I leave you, Mr. High Bailiff, to decide upon its merits. + +CURATE.--"_He leadeth Counsellors away spoiled, and maketh Judges +fools._" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I don't care three brass pins points about that +there--though the poor _feller_ did live in a shed; yet as he says he +once boiled a sheep's head under his own roof, which I calls his +_casthillum_--_argyle_, I declares him a good _wote_! + +CLERK.--"_Oh Lord! incline our hearts to keep this law._" + +BAR-KEEPER.--Make way for the parish-officers, and the other _gemmen_ +of the _Westry_. + +CURATE.--"_I said my house should be called a house of prayer, but ye +have made it a den of thieves!_" + +Mr. ELCOCK.--_Mr. High Bailey!_ Sir, them there _Foxites_ people are +_sniggering_ and _tittering_ on the other side of the table; and +from what I can guess I am sure it can be at nobody but you or me. + +CURATE.--"_Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the +understanding of a man!_" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I am sure this same SCRUTINY proves sufficiently +burthensome to me. + +CURATE.--"_Saddle me an ass, and they saddled him._" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--Mr. HARGRAVE here, my counsel, says--it is my opinion +that this _wote_ is legally substantiated according to law. + +CURATE.--"_So_ MORDECAI _did, according to all that_ JEHOSAPHAT +_commanded him!_" + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--And now, friend MORGAN, having gone through my list +of thirty votes, and struck off twenty-six bad, from that number, +I will leave you to make your own comment thereon. + +CURATE.--"_And lo! when they arose in the morning, they were all dead +corpses!_" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--But for God's sake, good Sir, in that case, what will +the people justly say of _me?_ + +CURATE.--"_Let a gallows be erected fifty cubits high, and to-morrow +speak unto the King, that_ MORDECAI _may be hanged thereon!_" + + + + +PARAGRAPH-OFFICE, IVY-LANE. + + +Whereas by public orders from this office, all GENTLEMEN RUNNERS and +SCRIBBLERS, PUNNERS and QUIBBLERS, PUFFERS, PLAISTERERS, DAUBERS and +SPATTERERS, in our pay, and under our direction, were required, for +reasons therein specified, to be particularly diligent in defending +and enforcing the projected DUTY ON COALS. + +AND WHEREAS the virtuous and illustrious CHANCELLOR OR THE EXCHEQUER, +patriotically resolving to prefer the private interests of his friends +to the public distress of his enemies; and prudently preferring the +friendship of Lord LONSDALE to the satisfaction of ruining the +manufactures of IRELAND, has accordingly signified in the HOUSE OF +COMMONS, that he intends to propose some other tax as a substitute +for the said duty. + +THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE to all Gentlemen Runners, and Scribblers, as +aforesaid, that they hold themselves ready to furnish, agreeably to +our future orders, a sufficient number of panegyrical paragraphs, +properly ornamented with _Italics_ and CAPITALS, notes of +interrogation, and notes of admiration, apostrophe's and exclamations, +in support of any tax whatever, which the young Minister in his wisdom +may think proper to substitute. AND in the mean time that they fail +not to urge the public spirit and zeal for the national welfare, +humanity to the poor, and regard for the prosperity of our +manufacturers, which considerations ALONE induced the Minister to +abandon his original purpose of taxing coals: AND that they expatiate +on the wise exemptions and regulations which the Minister would +certainly have introduced into his bill for enacting the said tax, but +that (as he declared in the House of Commons) unfortunately for the +finances of this country, he had not time in the present Session of +Parliament to devise such exemptions and regulations: AND FINALLY, +that they boldly assert the said tax to have been GOOD, POLITIC, JUST, +and EQUITABLE; but that the new tax, which is to be substituted in +place of it, will necessarily be BETTER, MORE POLITIC, MORE JUST, and +MORE EQUITABLE. + + MAC-OSSIAN, + _Superintendent-general of the Press._ + + + + +PITT AND PINETTI. A PARALLEL. + + +SIGNOR PINETTI the Conjuror, and Mr. PITT the Premier, have a +wonderful similitude in the principal transactions and events by +which they are distinguished. + +PINETTI, in defiance of Mr. COLMAN, took possession of his property +in the HAYMARKET THEATRE, and by the help of a little agency behind +the scenes, played several tricks, and became popular! + +Mr. PITT in like manner seized upon another THEATRE-ROYAL, in the +absence of the rightful possessor, the Duke of PORTLAND. He had not, +it is true, the permission of a LORD CHAMBERLAIN as PINETTI had; but +the countenance of a LORD OF THE BEDCHAMBER was deemed equivalent. +Here he exhibited several surprising tricks and deceptions: we will +say nothing of the agency, but all present appeared delighted. PINETTI +also exhibited in the presence of Royalty, and with equal success, +as the sign manual he boasts of will testify. + +PINETTI cuts a lemon in two, and shews a KNAVE OF DIAMONDS--Mr. PITT +in like manner can divide the HOUSE OF COMMONS, which for its acidity +may be called the political lemon. He cannot at present shew a KNAVE +OF DIAMONDS; but what may he not do when Mr. HASTINGS arrives?[1] + +PINETTI takes a number of rings, he fastens them together, and +produces a CHAIN.--Does any person dispute Mr. PITT's ability to +construct a CHAIN? + +PINETTI has a SYMPATHETIC LIGHT, which he extinguishes at command--Mr. +PITT's method of leaving us in the dark is by BLOCKING UP our WINDOWS! + +PINETTI takes money out of one's pocket in defiance of all the +caution that can be used--Mr. PITT does the same, without returning +it.--In this the Minister differs from the Conjuror! + +PINETTI attempted to strip off an Englishman's shirt; if he had +succeeded, he would have retained his popularity.--Mr. PITT attempted +this trick, and has carried his point. + +PINETTI has a bird which sings exactly any tune put before it.--Mr. +PITT has upwards of TWO HUNDRED birds of this description.--N.B. +PEARSON says they are a pack of CHATTERING MAGPIES. + + +[1] The Editor feels it necessary to declare, in justice to Mr. +HASTINGS's character, that the charges since preferred by the HOUSE +OF COMMONS, and MAJOR SCOTT's _honour as a Gentleman_, have amply +disproved all parts of this comparison. + + + + +NEW ABSTRACT +OF THE +BUDGET, +FOR 1784. + + +COMMUTATION TAX.--An Act for rendering houses more chearful, healthy, +comfortable, and commodious. + +PAPER DITTO.--An Act for the encouragement of authors, the promotion +of learning, and extending the liberty of the press. + +POSTAGE DITTO.--An Act for expediting business, increasing social +intercourse, and facilitating the epistolary correspondence of +friends. + +DISTILLERY DITTO.--An Act for making the landlords responsible to +government for the obedience of their own and their neighbours +tenantry. + +CANDLE DITTO.--An Act for the benevolent purpose of putting the +blind on a level with their fellow-creatures. + +EXCISE GOODS DITTO.--An Act for lessening the burthen of the subject +by an increase of the collection. + +SOAP DITTO.--An Act for suppressing the effeminacy of Englishmen, +by disappointing them of clean linen. + +SMUGGLING DITTO.--An Act for demonstrating the arbitrary spirit +of this free government, in whatever clashes with the interests +of the Treasury. + +GAME DITTO.--An Act for making the many responsible, for a monopoly +of every thing nice and delicate, to the palates of the few. + +HORSE DITTO.--An Act for reducing the farmers to the wholesome +exercise of walking, while their servants enfeeble themselves +with riding. + + + + +THEATRICAL INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY. + + +At the last grand FETE given by Mr. JENKINSON to his friends in +Administration, it was proposed, that as WILBERFORCE had sprained +his leg at the last game at LEAPFROG, and PRATT had grown too fat +for their old favourite sport of HIDE-AND-SEEK, some new diversion +should be instituted.--Various _succedanea_ were suggested, such as +CHUCK-FARTHING, MARBLES, &c. but at last the general voice determined +in favour of the DRAMA.--After some little altercation as to what +particular dramatic production to select, the comic opera of TOM JONES +was performed, and the arrangement of characters was disposed of +as follows: + + DRAMATIS PERSON. + BLIFIL, - - MR PITT. + BLACK GEORGE, - MR. ROBINSON. + KING OF THE GYPSIES, - LORD THURLOW. + THWACKAM, - MR. JENKINSON. + SQUARE, - - DR. PRETTYMAN. + SQUIRE WESTERN, - MR. ROLLE. + PARTRIDGE, - - MR. MACPHERSON. + +The parts of ALLWORTHY, TOM JONES, and SOPHIA, were subjects of long +and difficult discussion; but at length Mr. DUNDAS put an end to the +altercation, by assuring the company that he was willing and able to +act ANY part, and would be glad, though at so short a notice, to +attempt that of ALLWORTHY. The same offer was handsomely made by +Lord DENBIGH for that of TOM JONES, and the character of SOPHIA was +at last allotted to VILLIERS. + + + + +THE +WESTMINSTER GUIDE. + + +PART I. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. ANSTY. + + Poet to town, my friend ANSTY, or if you refuse + A visit in person, yet spare us your muse: + Give her wing, ere too late for this city's election, + Where much waits her comment, and more her correction. + What novels to laugh at! what follies to chide! + Oh! how we all long for a WESTMINSTER Guide! + First, in judgment decisive, as OTTOMAN Califf, + Aloft on the hustings, behold the HIGH BAILIFF! + But we miss from the seat, where law rests on a word, + The old symbols of justice--the scales and the sword-- + As a symbol too martial the sword he discards, + So 'tis lodg'd where it suits--in the hands of the guards; + And doubting the poise of weak hands like his own, + He suspended the scales at the foot of the throne.---- + + Turn next to the candidates--at such a crisis-- + We've a right to observe on their virtues or vices. + Hood founds (and with justice to most apprehensions) + In years of fair services, manly pretensions; + But his party to change, and his friend to betray, + By some are held better pretensions in WRAY. + + For the third, if at Court we his character scan, + A dmon incarnate is poor CARLO KHAN; + Catch his name when afloat on convivial bumpers, + Or sent up to the skies by processions of plumpers; + He is Freedom's defender, the champion of Right, + The Man of the People, the nation's delight. + To party or passion we scorn to appeal, + Nor want we the help of intemperate zeal; + Let Time from Detraction have rescued his cause, + And our verse shall but echo a nation's applause. + + But hark! proclamation and silence intreated; + The inspectors arranged--the polling clerks seated-- + With Bibles in hand, to purge willing and loth, + With the Catholic Test, and the Bribery Oath. + In clamour and tumult mobs thicken around, + And for one voice to vote there are ten to confound: + St. GILES's with WAPPING unites Garretteers, + HOOD and WRAY and PREROGATIVE, PITT and three cheers! + 'Tis the day for the Court--the grand Treasury push! + And the pack of that kennel well trained to the _brush_, + Dash noisy and fearless through thick and through thin, + The huntsman unseen, but his friends whippers-in. + + Now follow fresh tribes, scarce a man worth a louse, + Till put into plight at NORTHUMBERLAND HOUSE; + Ten poll for one mansion, each proving he keeps it, + And one for each chimney--he'll prove that he sweeps it-- + With these mix the great, on rights equally fables, + Great Peers from poor lodgings, great Lawyers from stables; + Ev'n the Soldier, whose household's a centinel box. + Claims a questionless franchise 'gainst Freedom and FOX; + All dubbed and maintained upon influence regal + Of the new H----E of C------S constituents legal. + + What troops too of females 'mong'st CHARLES's opposers? + Old tabbies and gossips, scolds, gigglers, and sprosers! + And Lady LACKPENSION, and Dowager THRIFTY, + And many a maiden the wrong side of fifty; + And FUBZY, with flesh and with flabbiness laden + (And in all things indeed the reverse of a maiden), + And hags after hags join the barbarous din, + More hateful than serpents, more ugly than SIN. + + Thus [1] the Bacchanal tribes when they ORPHEUS assailed, + Drowned his notes with their yells ere their vengeance prevailed, + Well knowing the sound of his voice or his lyre, + Had charms to allay diabolical ire. + Our Bacchanals find a more difficult foe; + For what strains can inchant, though from ORPHEUS they flow, + Like the orator's spell o'er the patriot mind, + When pleading to reason the cause of mankind? + + Now for councils more secret that govern the plan-- + _A Calif is nothing without a_ DIVAN. + With invisible step let us steal on the quorum, + Where MAINWARING sits in the Chair of Decorum. + And WILMOT harangues to the brethren elect, + [2]On his master's commands--"Carry law to effect." + "The true reading, my friends, in the _jus bacculinum_, + When the FOXITES are drubbed, then imprison or fine 'em; + And let him who would construe th' effective still further, + Knock out a friend's brains to accuse them of murder. + I have ready some hundreds of resolute knaves, + With bludgeons well shaped into Constables' staves, + In WESTMINSTER strangers--true creatures of power, + Like the lions--ferociously nursed at the Tower[3]. + Do we want more support?--Mark! that band of red coats! } + Whose first service over, of giving their votes, } + Why not try for a second--the cutting of throats! } + From the SAVOY they march--their mercy all lie at, + When the Bench gives the call, and St. J------s's the _fiat_." + Thus the law of effect the wise justice expounds, + This is WILMOT's abridgment compris'd in twelve rounds; + The new MIDDLESEX CODE--which treats subjects like partridge, + While the Statutes at large are cut up into cartridge. + + Enough of these horrors--a milder design, + Though not a more lawful one, CORBET, is thine! + The polling to close, but decision adjourn, + And in scrutiny endless to sink the return. + Thy employers who ranged on the Treasury Bench, + For prerogative fight, or behind it intrench, + Shall boldly stand forth in support of the act, + Which they mean to restrain by law after the fact. + With quibble and puzzle that reason disgrace. + Or with impudent paradox put in its place, + They shall hold, _that an indigent party's defence, + When at war with the Treasury, lies in expence; + [4] That the part of the vexed is to cherish vexation, + And strain it through_ DRIPSTONES _of procrastination_-- + These positions you'll say are indeed hypothetic-- + At Court they'll be Gospel--the muse is prophetic. + +End of the First Part. + + +[1] Note.] _Thus the Bacchanal tribes, &c._ + + Cunctaque tela forent cantu mollita: sed ingens + Clamor, et inflat Berecynthia tibia cornu, + Tympanaque, Plaususque, et Bacchei ululatus + Obstrepuere sono Cither. Tum denique Saxa + Non exauditi rubuerunt Sanguine Vatis. + OVID. + +[2] See the letter of the Lord Lieutenant of M------x, May 8th. + +[3] These strange Constables were avowedly brought from the Tower +Hamlets. + +[4] See the speech of a young orator in a late debate. + + +END OF THE FIRST PART + + + + +PART II. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. HAYLEY. + + To thy candour now, HAYLEY, I offer the line, + Which after thy model I fain would refine. + Thy skill, in each trial of melody sweeter, + Can to elegant themes adapt frolicksome metre; + And at will, with a comic or tender controul, + Now speak to the humour, and now to the soul. + We'll turn from the objects of satire and spleen, + That late, uncontrasted; disfigured the scene; + To WRAY leave the rage the defeated attends, + And the conqueror hail in the arms of his friends; + Count with emulous zeal the selected and true, + Enroll in the list, and the triumph pursue. + These are friendships that bloomed in the morning of life, + Those were grafted on thorns midst political strife; + Alike they matured from the stem, or the flower, + Unblighted by int'rest, unshaken by power. + Bright band! to whose feelings in constancy tried, + Disfavour is glory, oppression is pride; + Attached to his fortunes, and fond of his fame, + Vicissitudes pass but to shew you the same. + + But whence this fidelity, new to the age? + Can parts, though sublime, such attachments engage? + No: the dazzle of parts may the passions allure, + 'Tis the heart of the friend makes affections endure. + The heart that intent on all worth but its own, + Assists every talent, and arrogates none; + The feeble protects, as it honours the brave, + Expands to the just, and hates only the knave. + + These are honours, my FOX, that are due to thy deeds; + But lo! yet a brighter alliance succeeds; + The alliance of beauty in lustre of youth, + That shines on thy cause with the radiance of truth. + The conviction they feel the fair zealots impart, + And the eloquent eye sends it home to the heart. + Each glance has the touch of Ithuriel's spear, + That no art can withstand, no delusion can bear, + And the effort of malice and lie of the day, + Detected and scorn'd, break like vapour away. + + Avaunt, ye profane! the fair pageantry moves: + An entry of VENUS, led on by the loves! + Behold how the urchins round DEVONSHIRE press! + For order, submissive, her eyes they address: + She assumes her command with a diffident smile, + And leads, thus attended, the pride of the Isle. + + Oh! now for the pencil of GUIDO! to trace, + Of KEPPEL the features, of WALDEGRAVES the grace; + Of FITZROY the bloom the May morning to vie, + Of SEFTON the air, of DUNCANNON the eye; + Of LOFTUS the smiles (though with preference proud, + She gives ten to her husband, for one to the croud), + Of PORTLAND the manner, that steals on the breast, + But is too much her own to be caught or express'd; + The charms that with sentiment BOUVERIE blends, + The fairest of forms and the truest of friends; + The look that in WARBURTON, humble and chaste, + Speaks candour and truth, and discretion and taste; + Or with equal expression in HORTON combined, + Vivacity's dimples with reason refined. + + REYNOLDS, haste to my aid, for a figure divine, + Where the pencil of GUIDO has yielded to thine; + Bear witness the canvas where SHERIDAN lives, + And with angels, the lovely competitor, strives---- + While Earth claims her beauty and Heaven her strain, + Be it mine to adore ev'ry link of the chain! + + But new claimants appear ere the lyre is unstrung, + Can PAYNE be passed by? Shall not MILNER be sung? + See DELME and HOWARD, a favourite pair, + For grace of both classes, the zealous and fair---- + A verse for MORANT, like her wit may it please, + Another for BRADDYLL of elegant ease, + For BAMFYLDE a simile worthy her frame---- + Quick, quick--I have yet half a hundred to name---- + Not PARNASSUS in concert could answer the call, + Nor multiplied muses do justice to all. + + Then follow the throng where with festal delight, + More pleasing than HEBE, CREWE opens the night. + Not the goblet nectareous of welcome and joy, + That DIDO prepared for the hero of TROY; + Not Fiction, describing the banquets above, + Where goddesses mix at the table of JOVE; + Could afford to the soul more ambrosial cheer + Than attends on the fairer associates here. + But CREWE, with a mortal's distinction content, + Bounds her claim to the rites of this happy event; + For the hero to twine civic garlands of fame, + With the laurel and rose interweaving his name, + And while I Pans his merits avow, + As the Queen of the feast, place the wreath on his brow. + + + + +INSCRIPTION + + +_For the_ DUKE OF RICHMOND'_s Bust to the Memory of the +late_ MARQUIS OF ROCKINGHAM. + + Hail, marble! happy in a double end! + Raised to departed principles and friend: + The friend once gone, no principles would stay: + For very grief, they wept themselves away! + Let no harsh censure such conjunction blame, + Since join'd in life, their fates should be the same. + Therefore from death they feel a common sting, + And HEAV'N receives the one, and one the K--G. + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + +_Reason for Mr._ FOX'_s avowed contempt of one_ PIGOT'_s Address to +him._ + + Who shall expect the country's friend, + The darling of the House, + Should for a moment condescend + To crack a [1]PRISON LOUSE. + +ANOTHER. + +_On one_ PIGOT'_s being called a_ LOUSE. + + PIGOT is a _Louse_, they say, + But if you kick him, you will _see_, + 'Tis by much the truest way, + To represent him as a FLEA. + +ANOTHER, + + For servile meanness to the great, + Let none hold PIGOT Cheap; + Who can resist his destined fate? + A LOUSE must always CREEP. + +ANOTHER. + + PIGOT is sure a most courageous man, + "A word and blow" for ever is his plan; + And thus his friends explain the curious matter, + He gives the first, and then receives the latter. + + +[1] The substantive in the marked part of this line has been long an +established SYNONYME for Mr. PIGOT, and the PREDICATE, we are assured, +is not at this time less just. + + + + +A NEW BALLAD, +ENTITLED AND CALLED +BILLY EDEN, +OR, THE +RENEGADO SCOUT. + + +_To the Tune of_ ALLY CROAKER. + + I. + There lived a man at BECKHAM, in KENT, Sir, + Who wanted a place to make him content, Sir; + Long had he sigh'd for BILLY PITT's protection, + When thus he gently courted his affection: + Will you give a place, my dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If I can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + II. + He pimp'd with GEORGE ROSE, he lied with the DOCTOR, + He flatter'd Mrs. HASTINGS 'till almost he had shock'd her; + He got the ARCHBISHOP to write in his favour, + And when BILLY gets a beard, he swears he'll be his shaver. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + III. + To all you young men, who are famous for changing, + From party to party continually ranging, + I tell you the place of all places to breed in, + For maggots of corruption's the heart of BILLY EDEN. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + + + +EPIGRAMS. + + +_On Sir_ ELIJAH IMPEY _refusing to resign his Gown as_ CHIEF JUSTICE +OF BENGAL. + + Of yore, ELIJAH, it is stated, + By angels when to Heav'n translated, + Before the saint aloft would ride, + His prophet's robe he cast aside; + Thinking the load might sorely gravel + His porters on so long a travel; + But our ELIJAH somewhat doubting, + To him SAINT PETER may prove flouting, + And wisely of his mantle thinking, + That its furr'd weight may aid his sinking, + Scornful defies his namesake's joke, + And swears by G--d he'll keep his cloak. + +ANOTHER. + +_By Mr_. WILBERFORCE. + +_On reading Mr._ ROSE'_s Pamphlet on the_ IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + + Uncramp'd yourself by grammar's rules, + You hate the jargon of the schools, + And think it most extremely silly; + But reading your unfetter'd prose, + I wish the too-licentious ROSE + Was temper'd by the chaster LILLY[1]. + +[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, +and still more for the happy classical quotations he has furnished +to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial +speakers. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + + +TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME. + +Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and +respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice +of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good +order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years +been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted +principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the +best and only judge of what suits the constitution, pleases the +appetite, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY +ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY +COUNCIL, that all his Majesty's liege subjects, of all ranks, +descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the +date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of a +_premunire_, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quantity of +the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural +day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the +list or schedule herein after following, _viz_. + +I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his +Majesty's kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.--If GREEN be +too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.--The method of +making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the +noble personages themselves. + +II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.--This will be no +inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had. + +III. DUCHESSES, DUCHESS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one +pound per ditto.--As this regulation is not intended to hurt his +Majesty's Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual. + +IV. MAIDS OF HONOUR, CHAPLAINS, the MEMBERS of the CLUB AT WHITE's, +and other young gentlemen of that RANK and DESCRIPTION (being pretty +nearly the usual quantity), two pound per ditto. + +V. To COUNTRY 'SQUIRES, FOX-HUNTERS, &c. as a most agreeable +substitute for STINGO and OCTOBER, three pound per ditto. + +VI. To DRAYMEN, CHAIRMEN, and BARGEMEN, instead of PORTER, two pound +per ditto. + +VII. To the Commonalty of this Realm, to drink with their victuals +and otherwise, at one pound for each person per ditto. + +And IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that no excuse or plea whatever shall be +deemed valid, for the non-compliance with the above regulations; AND +that whoever shall pretend, that the said wholesome and benign +decoction, either does not agree with him, or is more expensive than +his finances or state of life will permit, shall be only considered +as aggravating the offence of disobedience, by a contumacious doubt +of the better knowledge of his superiors, and a ridiculous endeavour +to seem to be better acquainted with his own constitution and +circumstances, than the efficient Minister of the country. + + GIVEN _at our Palace in_ DOWNING-STREET, + _this 24th Day of June, 1784._ + + + + +ORIGINAL LETTER. + + +Many doubts having arisen, principally among the gentlemen who belong +to the same profession with the Master of the Rolls, whether that +distinguished character has _really_ sent a draft to the HIGH BAILIFF +of WESTMINSTER, for the expences of a late trial and verdict in the +Common Pleas; and although the fact is not exactly as it has been +represented, yet the following authentic letter will sufficiently +evince the generous intentions of Sir LL----D, as soon as he becomes +rich enough for him to answer so heavy a demand. At present, all who +know the very circumscribed state of his income, compared with the +liberality of his expenditure--who consider the extent of those +different establishments, which he feels it necessary to keep up +by way of preserving the dignity of his high office--his wardrobe +and table for instance--will acknowledge the plea of poverty to be +justly urged. + + +_To_ THOMAS CORBETT, _Esq. +Chancery-Lane._ + +_My dear and faithful friend, Tho. Corbett,_ + +"I anticipate your application to me, for the expences of defending +yourself against the action brought by that fellow, FOX. If eternally +damning the jury would pay the verdict, I would not scruple to assist +you to the utmost of my abilities.--Though THURLOW is against us upon +this point, and to swear with him, you know, would be just as vain a +thing as to swear with the Devil; but, my friend, the long and the +short of this matter is, that I am _wretched poor_--wretchedly so, I +do assure you, in every sense and signification of the word. I have +long borne the profitless incumbrance of nominal and ideal wealth. My +income has been cruelly estimated at seven, or, as some will have it, +eight thousand pounds per annum. The profession of which I am a +Member, my dear THOMAS, has taught me to value facts infinitely more +than either words or reasons. I shall save myself, therefore, the +mortification of denying that I am rich, and refer you to the constant +habits, and whole tenor of my life. The proof to my friends is +easy--Of the economy which I am obliged to observe in one very necessary +article, my taylor's bill for these last fifteen years, is a record +of the most indisputable authority. There are malicious souls, who +may object to this, as by no means the best evidence of the state of +my wardrobe; they will direct you, perhaps, to Lord STORMONT's +Valet de Chambre, and accompany the hint with an anecdote, that +on the day when I kissed hands for my appointment to the office of +Attorney-General, I appeared in a laced waistcoat that once belonged +to his master. The topic is invidious, and I disdain to enter into +it.--I _bought_ the waistcoat, but despise the insinuation--nor is this +the only instance in which I am obliged to diminish my wants, and +apportion them to my very limited means. Lady K. will be my witness, +that until my last appointment, I was an utter stranger to the luxury +of a pocket handkerchief. + +"If you wish to know how I live, come and satisfy yourself--I shall +dine at home this day three months, and if you are not engaged, and +breakfast late, shall be heartily glad of your company; but in truth, +my butler's place is become an absolute sinecure--early habits of +sobriety, and self-denial, my friend, have made me what I am--have +deceived the approach of age, and enabled me to support the laborious +duties, and hard vicissitudes of my station. + +"Besides, my dear BAILIFF, there are many persons to whom your +application would be made with infinitely more propriety than to me. +The nature of PEPPER ARDEN is mild, gentle, accommodating to the +extreme, and I will venture to engage that he would by no means +refuse a reasonable contribution. MACDONALD is, among those who +know him, a very proverb for generosity; and will certainly stand +by you, together with DUNDAS and the LORD ADVOCATE, if there be +fidelity in Scotchmen. BEARCROFT too will open his purse to you with +the same blind and improvident magnanimity with which he risqued his +opinion in your favour: besides, you are sure of PITT.--A real zeal +for your welfare, a most disinterested friendship, and some +consciousness that I have materially helped to involve you; and, +believe me, not the sordid motive of shifting either the blame, +or the expence upon the shoulders of others, have made me thus +eagerly endeavour to put you in the way of consulting your best +friends in this very critical emergency. + +"As to myself, you are possessed already of the circumstances which +render any immediate assistance on my part wholly out of the question. +Except half a dozen pair of black plush breeches, which I have but +this instant received, I can offer you nothing. My superfluities +extend no further. But better times may soon arrive, and I will not +fail you then. The present Chief Justice of the King's Bench cannot +long retain his situation; and as you are one whom I have selected +from among many to be the friend of my bosom, I will now reveal to +you a great secret in the last arrangement of judicial offices. +Know then, that Sir ELIJAH IMPEY is the man fixed upon to preside +in the chief seat of criminal and civil jurisprudence of this country. +I am to succeed him in BENGAL; and then, my dear THOMAS, we may set +the malice of juries at defiance. If they had given FOX as many +diamonds by their verdict as they have pounds, rest assured that +I am not a person likely to fail you, after I shall have been there +a little while, either through want of faith, or want of means. +Set your mind, therefore, at ease; as to the money--why, if PITT is +determined to have nothing to do with it, and if nobody else will +pay it, I think the most adviseable thing, in your circumstances, +will be to pay it yourself. Not that you are to be ultimately at the +expence of a single shilling. The contents of this letter will fully +prove that I mean to reimburse you what I am able. For the present, +nobody knows better than yourself, not even Lady K----, how ill +matters stand with me, and that I find it utterly impossible to obey +the dictates of my feelings. + + "I am, my dear HIGH BAILIFF, + Your very affectionate friend, + And humble servant, + L.K." + "_Lincoln's-inn-fields_, + _June 20, 1786._" + + + + +A CONGRATULATORY ODE, + + +ADDRESSED TO THE +RIGHT HON. CHARLES JENKINSON, +on his being created LORD HAWKESBURY. + + Quem vimm aut heroa lyra vel acri + Tibia sumes celebrare, Clio? + Quem Deum? Cujus recinet jocosa + Nomen imago? HOR. + + JENKY, for you I'll wake the lyre, + Tho' not with Laureat WARTONS fire, + Your hard-won meed to grace: + Gay was your air, your visage blythe, + Unless when FOX has made you writhe, + With tortur'd MARSYAS' face. + + No more you'll dread such pointed sneer, + But safely skulk amidst your Peers, + And slavish doctrines spread; + As some ill-omen'd baneful yew + That sheds around a poisonous dew, + And shakes its rueful head. + + Your frozen heart ne'er learn'd to glow + At other's good, nor melt at woe; + Your very roof is chilling: + There Bounty never spreads her ray; + You e'en shut out the light of day[1], + To save a paltry shilling, + + A Prince, by servile knaves addrest, + Ne'er takes a DEMPSTER to his breast, + JACK ROB'SON serves his ends; + Unrivall'd stood the treach'rous name, + Till envious EDEN urg'd his claim, + While both betray their friends. + + On whom devolves your back-stairs cloak, + When, prophet-like, "you mount as smoke[2]?" + Must little POWNEY catch it? + But as 'tis rather worse for wear, + Let mighty BUCKS take special care + To brush it well and patch it. + + While o'er his loyal breast so true, + Great G---- expands the riband blue, + There--Honour's star will shine: + As RAWDON was bold RICHMOND's Squire, + To install a Knight so full of fire + --Let ASTON, BUCKS, be thine. + + JENKY, pursue Ambition's task, + The King will give whate'er you ask, + Nor heed the frowns of PITT; + Tho' proud, he'll truckle to disgrace, + By feudal meanness keep his place[3], + And turn the royal spit. + + With saintly HILL divide your glory[4], + No true King's friend, on such a Tory + The peerage door will shut; + Canting, he'll serve both Church and Throne, + And make the Reverend Bench your own, + By piety and smut. + + BANKS at his side, demure and sly, + Will aptly tell a specious lye, + Then speed the royal summons: + He's no raw novice in the trade, + His honour's now a batter'd jade-- + PITT flung it to the Commons. + + While THURLOW damns these cold delays, + Mysterious diamonds vainly blaze, + The impending vote to check; + K.B. and Peer, let HASTINGS shine, + IMPEY, with pride, will closely twine + The collar round his neck. + + Ennobling thus the mean and base, + Our gracious S--------'s art we trace, + Assail'd by factions bold; + So prest, great FREDERICK rose in fame, + On _pots de chambre_ stamp'd his name[5], + And pewter pass'd for gold. + + Should restive SYDNEY keep the seal, + JENKY, still shew _official_ zeal, + Your friend, your master, charm; + Revive an ANGLO-SAXON place[6], + Let GEORGE's feet your bosom grace, + Your love will keep them warm. + +[1] Mr. JENKINSON exhibited a laudable example of political oeconomy, +by shutting up several of his windows at his seat near Croydon, on the +passing of the Commutation Act. His Majesty's _bon mot_ on this +occasion should not be forgot. "What! what! (said the Royal Jester) do +my subjects complain of?--JENKY tells me he does not pay as much to the +Window Tax as he did before. Why then don't my people do like JENKY?" + +[2] A beautiful oriental allusion, borrowed from Mr. HASTINGS's Ode, + "And care, _like smoke_, in turbid wreathes, + Round the gay ceiling flies." + +[3] FINCHFIELD.--Co. ESSEX.----JOHN CAMPES held this manor of King +EDWARD III. by the service of _turning the spit_ at his coronation. + _Camden's Britannia--article Essex._ + +[4] The King magnanimously refused to create either Sir RICHARD HILL, +or Mr. BANKS, Peers, that the singular honour bestowed _solely_ by his +Majesty might be more conspicuous, and that Mr. PITT's humiliation +might no longer be problematic. Sir RICHARD had composed a beautiful +sacred cantata on the occasion, dedicated to his brother, the Rev. +ROWLAND HILL. The first stanza alludes, by an apt quotation from the +68th Psalm, to the elevation and dignities of the family: + "Why hop so high, ye little H_I_LLS?" + With joy, the Lord's anointed f_i_lls; + Let's pray with one accord! + In sleepless visions of the night, + NORTH's cheek I smote with all my might, + For which I'm made a Lord, &c. &c. + +[5] The King of PRUSSIA replenished his exhausted treasury in the war +of 1756, by a coinage of pewter ducats. + +[6] "Besides the twenty-four officer above described, there were +eleven others of considerable value in the courts of the ancient +Princes, the most remarkable of which was, that of the King's +feet-bearer; this was a young gentleman, whose duty it was to sit +on the floor, with his back towards the fire, and hold the King's +feet in his bosom all the time he sat at table, to keep them warm +and comfortable." + _Leges Wallic, p.58.--Henry's History of Great Britain, v.2,p.275_ + + + + +ODE +_to_ SIR ELIJAH IMPEY. + + + li, vetusto nobilis a Lamo, + Quando et priores hinc Lamia ferunt + Denominatos, &c. + + ELI-JAH noblest of the race + Of [1]IMPS, from whom the IMPEYS trace, + If common fame says true, + Their origin; and that they found + Their claim on just and solid ground, + Refer for _proof_ to you-- + + You, who could post nine hundred miles, + To fathom an old woman's wiles, + Possess'd of _dangerous_ treasure; + Could hurry with a pedlar's pack + Of affidavits at your back, + In quest of health and pleasure. + + And all because the jealous JOVE[2] + Of Eastern climes thought fit to prove + The _venom_ of his reign; + On which, to minds of light esteem, + _Some few severities_ might seem + To leave a transient stain. + + Soon [3] on your head from yon dark sky, + Or WOODFALL'_s Hasty Sketches_ lye, + The gather'd storm will break! + Deep will the vengeful thunder be, + And from the sleep he owes to thee, + Shall NUNDCOMAR awake! + + Then arm against the rude attack, + Recall thy roving memory back, + And all thy proofs collect!-- + Remember that you cannot gain + A second hearing to _explain_, + And [4] _therefore_ be correct. + + +[1] MILTON makes honourable mention of the founder of the family: + "Fit vessel, fittest _Imp_ of Fraud." + _Paradise Lost, b._ IX. + +It may be observed, in proof of the descent, as well as to the credit +of the present Representative, that he has not degenerated from the +characteristic "obliquity" of his Ancestor. + +[2] Late Tyrannus. + +[3] Demissa tempestas ab Euro + Sternet--Nisi fallit Augur + Anosa Cornix. + +[4] See Declaration of Sir E---- I----, offered to the House by +Mt. DEMPSTER. + + + + +SONG. + + +_To the Tune of_ "LET THE SULTAN SALADIN," _in_ RICHARD COEUR DE LION. + + I. + Let great GEORGE his porkers bilk, + And give his maids the sour skim-milk; + With her stores let CERES crown him, + 'Till the gracious sweat run down him, + Making butter night and day: + Well! well! + Every King must have his way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + II. + BILLY PITT delights to prose, + 'Till admiring Grocers dose; + Ancient Virgins all adore him, + Not a woman falls before him; + Never kissing night nor day: + Well! well! + Every child must have its way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + III. + You too, HASTINGS, know your trade! + No vile fears your heart invade, + When you rove for EASTERN plunder, + Making Monarchs truckle under, + Slitting windpipes night and day: + Well! well! + Governors will have their way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + + + +A NEW SONG, +ENTITLED +MASTER BILLY'S BUDGET; +OR, +A TOUCH ON THE TIMES. + + +_To the Turn of_ "A COBLER THERE WAS," &c. + + Ye boobies of Britain, who lately thought fit + The care of the state to a child to commit, + Pray how do you like your young Minister's budget? + Should he take your last farthing, you never can grudge it. + Deny down, &c + + A tax on your heads! there'd be justice in that; + But he only proposes a tax on your hat; + So let every ENGLISHMAN throw up his beaver, + And hollo. Prerogative BILLY for ever! + Deny down, &c + + Not being much favour'd with female applauses, + He takes his revenge on their ribands and gauzes; + Then should not each female, Wife, Widow, or Miss, + To Coventry send master BILLY for this? + Deny down, &c + + How oft has he told us his views were upright! + That his actions would all bear the test of the light! + Yet he sure in the dark must have something to do, + Who shuts out both day-light and candle-light too. + Deny down, &c + + JOHN BULL's house is tax'd, so he plays him a trick, + By cunningly laying a duty on brick; + Thus JOHN for his dwelling is fore'd to pay twice, + But BILLY hopes JOHN will not smoke the device. + Deny down, &c + + What little we may have by industry made, + We must pay for a licence to set up a trade; + So that ev'ry poor devil must now be tax'd more + For dealing in goods that paid taxes before. + Deny down, &c + + The Callico-printers may beg if they please; + As dry as a sponge he their cotton will squeeze; + With their tears let them print their own linens, cries he, + But they never shall make an impression on me, + Deny down, &c + + The crazy old hackney-coach, almost broke down, + Must now pay ten shillings instead of a crown; + And to break him down quite, if the first will not do't, + Ten shillings a-piece on his horses to boot. + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon horses may not be severe, + But his scheme for collecting it seems very queer; + Did a school-boy e'er dream of a project so idle? + A tax on a horse by a stamp on a bridle! + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon sportsmen I hold to be right; + And only lament that the tax is so light; + But, alas! it is light for this palpable cause, + That sportsmen themselves are the makers of laws! + Deny down, &c + + He fain would have meddled with coals, but I wot + For his fingers the Gentleman found them too hot; + The rich did not like it, and so to be sure, + In its place he must find out a tax on the poor. + Deny down, &c + + Then last, that our murmurs may teaze him the less, + By a tax upon paper he'd silence the press; + So our sorrow by singing can ne'er be relax'd, + Since a song upon taxes itself must be tax'd. + Deny down, &c + + But now it is time I should finish my song, + And I wish from my soul that it was not so long, + Since at length it evinces in trusting to PITT, + Good neighbours, we all have been cursedly bit. + Deny down, &c + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + + While BURKE, in strains pathetic, paints + The sufferings dire of GENTOO saints, + From HOLY CITY[1] driven; + Cries HASTINGS, I admit their worth, + I thought them far too good for earth, + So pack'd them off to Heaven. + + +ANOTHER. + +MAJOR SCOTT'_s Defence of the_ ROHILLA MASSACRE. + + So poor ROHILLAS overthrown, + That HASTINGS has no mercy shown + In vain, cries SCOTT, to prove you strive; + By G--d he never murder'd one, + For half are still alive. + +[1] BENARES, the MECCA of HINDOSTAN. + + + + +MINISTERIAL UNDOUBTED FACTS. + + + "_And whoever believeth not all this shall be damned._" + ST. ATHANASIUS. + +The Members of Opposition are all equally poor--YET _the poor ones +are wholly maintained by the rich_. + +Notwithstanding the above is their only support--YET _their only means +of living arises at the gaming table_. + +Though these poor dogs win so much money at BROOKES's--YET _the +Members of_ BROOKES's _are all equally indigent_. + +OPPOSITION cannot raise a shilling--YET _they maintain an army of +scribblers, merely to injure an immaculate Minister, whom it is not +in their power to hurt_. + +They are too contemptible and infamous to obtain a moment's attention +from any gentleman or man of sense, and the people at large hold them +in general detestation--YET _the gentlemen and men of sense, who +conduct the Ministerial papers, are daily employed to attack these +infamous wretches, and in endeavouring to convince people who are +already all of one mind_. + +Their characters are so notorious that no person can be found to give +them credit for a shilling--YET _they are constantly running in debt +with their tradesmen_. + +They are obliged to sponge for a dinner, or else must go without--YET +_they indulge themselves in every species of debauchery and +dissipation_. + +Their prose is as devoid of argument as their verse is of wit--YET +_whole troops of ministerial writers are daily employed in answering +the one and criticising the other_. + +Their speeches are laughed at and despised by the whole nation--YET +_these laughable and despicable speeches were so artfully framed, as +alone to raise a clamour that destroyed the wisest of all possible +plans_, THE IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +They have traiterously raised a flame in IRELAND--YET _the_ IRISH _are +too enlightened to attend to the barkings of a degraded faction_. + +Their ROLLIADS and ODES are stark nonsense--YET _the sale has been so +extensive as to have new clothed the whole_ BLUE AND BUFF GANG. + +They are possessed of palaces purchased out of the public plunder--YET +_they have not a hole to hide their heads in_. + +The infernal arts of this accursed faction, and not his measures, +have rendered Mr. PITT unpopular--YET _is Mr_. PITT _much more popular +than ever_. + +In short, OPPOSITION are the most unpopular, _popular_; poor, _rich_; +artless, _artful_; incapable, _capable_; senseless, _sensible_; +neglectful, _industrious_; witless, _witty_; starving, _pampered_; +lazy, _indefatigable_; extravagant, _penurious_; bold, _timid_; +hypocritical, _unguarded_; set of designing, _blundering_; low-minded, +_high-minded_; dishonest, _honest_; knaves, as were ever honoured with +the notice of the MINISTERIAL NEWSPAPERS. + + + + +JOURNAL +OF THE +RIGHT HON. HENRY DUNDAS. + + +_October, 1787._ + +Told the Chairman the Company had long been in want of four regiments +of King's forces--said it was the first he had heard of it--told him +he must require them as absolutely necessary for the safety of +India--the man appeared staggered; reminded me of my usual caution; +grumbled out something about recruits being cheaper; muttered that I +expected too much from him, and talked of preserving appearances.--Called +him a fool, and ordered him to do as he was bid. + +_October, November, December, January_.--Employed in disputes with +those damned fellows the Directors--would not have my regiments--told +them they must--swore they would not--believe the Chairman manages +very badly--threatened to provide transports, to carry out the troops +at the Company's expence--found afterwards I had no right--ordered +PITT to bring in a Declaratory Bill! + +_February_ 25th.----Bill brought in--badly drawn--turn away RUSSEL, +and get another Attorney-General--could not make MULGRAVE speak--don't +see what use he's of. + +_March_ 3d.--Bill read a second time--Sheridan very troublesome--much +talk about the constitution--wish Pitt would not let people wander +so from the question. + +_March_ 5th.--Bill in a Committee--Members begin to smell +mischief--don't like it--PITT took fright and shammed sick--was obliged +to speak myself--resolved to do it once for all--spoke four hours--so +have done my duty, and let PITT now get out of the scrape as well as he +can. + +_March_ 7th.--PITT moved to recommit the bill--talked about checks and +the constitution--believe he's mad. Got into a damned scrape about +cotton--second time I've been detected--won't speak any more.--N.B. +Not to let BARING come into the Direction again.--FOX spoke--PITT +could not answer him, and told the House he was too hoarse--forgot at +the time to disguise his voice. + +_March_ 9th.--Got THURLOW to dine with us at _Wimbledon_--gave him my +best Burgundy and Blasphemy, to put him into good humour.--After a +brace of bottles, ventured to drop a hint of business--THURLOW damned +me, and asked PITT for a sentiment--PITT looked foolish--GRENVILLE +wise--MULGRAVE stared--SYDNEY's chin lengthened--tried the effects of +another bottle.--PITT began a long speech about the subject of our +meeting--SYDNEY fell asleep by the fire--MULGRAVE and GRENVILLE +retired to the old game of the board, and played push-pin for +ensigncies in the new corps--Grenville won three.--Mem.--To punish +their presumption, will not let either of them have one. + +THURLOW very queer.--He swore the bill is absurd, and my +correspondence with those cursed Directors damned stupid.--However, +will vote and speak with us--PITT quite sick of him--says he growls at +every thing, proposes nothing, and supports any thing. + +N.B. Must look about for a new Chancellor--Scott might do, but cants +too much about his independence and his conscience--what the devil +has he to do with independence and conscience--besides he has a +snivelling trick of retracting when he is caught in a lie--hate such +puling fellows--GEORGE HARDINGE not much better--must try him +tho'--will order him to speak on Wednesday. + +Took PITT to town in my chariot--drove to Berkeley-street--got PITT +to the door, but he would not come in--lounged an hour with +CHARLOTTE--promised her a company in one of the new regiments for a +disbanded private of the Horse Guards.--Why not order the whole House +to be qualified at DRUMMOND's, and charge it to the Company's secret +service? + +_March_ 10th.--Sent for TWINING--when he came, had by me a large bason +of his SOUCHONG--drank it without a wry face--the most nauseous black +draught I ever swallowed--swore it was excellent--quoted a sentence +from CICERO, which I got from PRETTYMAN for the occasion--promised to +put TWINING on my House-list next year, give him one of the Chairs, +and put the Tea-Trade under the Secret Committee--TWINING to procure +a requisition for a General Court--gave him hints for a speech--to +abuse Baring damnably. + +Called at WHITEHALL--took away the last letters from CORNWALLIS, that +PITT may not see them before they are _properly copied_ out by my +private Secretary.--Left orders for PITT and SYDNEY to follow me +to my house, where they would find my dispatches for India ready +for signing. + +_March_ 11th.--Dined with the Directors--almost too late; _London +Tavern_ not near enough.--Mem. to order the Directors in future always +to dine in my neighbourhood, and allow them to charge the additional +coach-hire to the Company--Why not buy a _long stage_ to carry them +about wherever I may want them? + +PITT frightened when we got into the City, lest the mob should +hiss--talked about _Grocers' Hall_ and better times; asked me if I was +not glad they were going to pull down _Temple bar_, and hoped there +would be no further occasion for it. + +Tried to prevent his being melancholy--threw a shilling among the +blackguards--would not do--no huzzaing. N.B. Not to forget to make the +Chairman repay me, the money being disbursed in the Company's service. + +Got to the LONDON TAVERN at six. Drew up my Commissioners in the +passage, and gave them their orders--told PITT to follow next to me, +and bid MULGRAVE speak in his upper voice, and be affable.--Tried to +laugh as we entered the room--MULGRAVE put us out by one of his +growling sighs--damn the fellow! must get rid of him.--Told DEVAYNES +to laugh for us all--did it well--make him Chairman next year. + +Dinner good--don't see why we should not dine with them always.--N.B. +Ordered twelve dozen of their claret to be carried to +_Wimbledon_--LUSHINGTON grumbled, and asked by what authority I did +it.--A very troublesome fellow that--remove him. + +PITT peevish and out of spirits; ordered MOTTEUX to sing a song--began +"_Ah si vous pouviez comprendre._" PITT turned red, and thought +the Chairman alluded to some dark passages in the India Bill--endeavoured +to pacify him, and told the _Secret Committee_ to give us a soft air; +they sung in a low voice "_the cause I must not, dare not +tell_"--MANSHIP groaned, and drank Colonel CATHCART. By G--, if I +thought he meant to betray me, I'd indict him for perjury!--Somebody +struck up "_if you trust before you try._"--PITT asked if the +Directors wished to affront, him, and began a long harangue about his +regard and friendship for the Company;--_nine_ Directors offered to +swear for it--told them they need not--bowed, and thanked me. + +LE MESURIER begged our attention to a little French Air, "_Sous le nom +de l'amiti en finesse on abonde_"--cursed _mal--propos_. + +PITT swore he was insulted, and got up to go away. The Alderman, much +terrified at what he had done, protested solemnly he meant no offence, +and called God to witness, it was a very harmless song he learnt some +time ago in _Guernsey_--Could not appease PITT--so went away with him, +after ordering MULGRAVE not to let SYDNEY drink any more wine, for +fear he should begin talking. + +PITT desired the servants to put out the flambeaux, as we went through +the city--(a sad coward!) asked me if I did not think FOX's a very +able speech--sighed, and said he had promised to answer it +to-morrow--wished however to do nothing in a hurry--expressed much +diffidence in his own abilities, and paid me many compliments--thought +I had a fine opportunity to shew my talents--assured me he should think +nothing of waving _his_ right to reply; and that he had not the least +objection to letting _me_ answer FOX--begged to decline the offer. +N.B. He seemed very uneasy and much frightened--never knew him +_diffident_ before--wish to-morrow was well over. + +Came home--opened a bottle of champaigne which I brought in the +carriage with me from the Directors' dinner--looked over my list of +_levee_ men--found nine field officers yet unprovided for. Wrote to +ROSS, enclosing the copy of a letter to be sent to me from Lord +C----LL--S requiring more King's troops--finished my bottle and +went to bed. + +_March_ 12.--Went to the levee--He looked surly--would hardly speak to +me--don't like him--must have heard that I can govern INDIA without +consulting him.--Nothing ever escapes that _damned_ fellow SHERIDAN! + +Between four and five went to the House--worse than the levee--PITT +would not speak, pretended it was better to wait for FOX--put him in +mind of the excuse he made at the end of the last debate, and his +_promise_ to answer _calumnies_--don't mind promises--a damned good +quality that--but ought to consider his friends--GEO. HARDINGE spoke +in consequence of my orders--forgot I was sitting below him--attacked +Lord NORTH's administration--got into a cursed scrape with +POWIS--won't do for CHANCELLOR--why not try BURGESS?--SCOTT defended +what he had said in the last debate--made it worse than ever--quoted +from DEBRETT's debates--talked about an _adder_--thought he was +alluding to PITT--our lawyers somehow don't answer--ADAM and +ANSTRUTHER worth them all--can't they be bought?--_Scotchmen!_--damned +strange if they can't--Mem. to tell ROSE to sound them. + +ADAM severe on me and the rest that have betrayed Lord NORTH--a +general confusion all round PITT--no one to defend us--VILLIERS +grinned--GRAHAM simpered--MULGRAVE growled--by G--d I believe PITT +enjoyed it--always pleased when his friends get into a scrape.--Mem. +to give him a lecture upon that--MULGRAVE spoke at last--wish he'd +held his tongue--SHERIDAN answered him--improves every day--wish we +had him----very odd so clever a fellow shouldn't be able to see his +own interest--wouldn't venture on a reply myself, for fear of another +lick from that clumsy boor Sir EDWARD ASTLEY--said my long speech was +dull and tiresome--what's the matter with the fellow?--used to vote +with us--believe LANSDOWN's got him.--Mem. to tell STEELE to look out +for another Member for the county of Norfolk. + +Jogged PITT--told him SHERIDAN's speech _must_ be answered--said, _I_ +might do it then, for he _couldn't_--PULTENEY relieved us a little, +pretending to be gull'd by the _checks_--too great nonsense to have +any effect on the House.--BASTARD forgot his last abuse of PITT, and +talked again about confidence; but was against the Bill--what's +confidence without a vote?--came to a division at last--better than +the former--had whipped in well from SCOTLAND--the House seems +tired--hope we shan't have much more of this. + +Mem. to give orders to MANNERS to make a noise, and let nobody speak +on third reading--a very useful fellow that MANNERS--does more good +sometimes than ten speakers. + +_March_ 14th. God's infinite mercy be praised, AMEN! This is the last +day that infernal DECLARATORY BILL stays in the House of Commons--as +for the _Lords_--but that's no business of mine; only poor +SYDNEY!--Well--God bless us all--AMEN! + +Got up and wrote the above, after a very restless night--went to bed +again--but could not sleep--troubled with the _blue devils_--thought I +saw POWIS--recovered myself a little, and fell into a slumber--Dreamt +I heard SHERIDAN speaking to me through the curtains--woke in a +fright, and jumped out of bed. + +Went down stairs--found some of the DIRECTORS waiting in the +hall--_damned their bloods_, and told them this was all their +doing--informed me a General Court was called by the enemy--bid them +make such a noise, that nobody might be heard--DEVAYNES undertook +it--ordered the SECRET COMMITTEE to stay, and sent the rest about +their business. + +After breakfast wrote to HAWK----Y, and begged his acceptance of a +_Lieut. Colonelcy, 2 Majorities, a Collectorship, 3 Shawls_ and a +piece of _India Muslin_ for the young ladies--sent back one of the +_Shawls_, and said he'd rather have another _Collector's +place_--Damnation! but it must be so, or SYDNEY will be left to +himself.--N.B. Not to forget THURLOW's _Arrack_ and _Gunpowder Tea_, +with the _India Crackers_ for his children. + +MULGRAVE called to know if I wanted him to speak to-day--told him +not--had enough of him last time. + +Went down to the House--ANSTRUTHER played the devil with all our +_checks_ and _guards_--serves us right for introducing such +nonsense--GEORGE NORTH asked when I meant to open my budget--said, +when the RAVENSWORTH arrives--pray God she be lost! Mem. When I do +open my budget, to state all the accounts in _Tales, Pagodas_, and +_Mohurs_--has a fine effect on the country gentlemen, and prevents +many impertinent observations. + +Waited very patiently for PITT's _promised answer_ to FOX's +_calumnies_ till eight o'clock--fresh inquiries about it every +minute--began to be very uneasy--saw OPPOSITION sneering--SHERIDAN +asked PITT if he was _hoarse_ yet--looked exceedingly foolish--pitied +him, and, by way of relieving his aukward situation, spoke myself--made +some of my boldest assertions--said a good thing about "_A Mare's +Nest_"--coined a few clauses, which I assured the House were in Fox's +Bill, and sat down with much applause--was afterwards unfortunately +detected in every thing I had said, and universally scouted by all +sides.--Mem. I should not have got into that scrape, if I had not +tried to help a friend in distress.--N.B. Never to do it again--there's +nothing to be gained by it. + +As soon as I recovered myself, asked PITT whether he really meant to +answer FOX, or not--Owned at last, with tears in his eyes, he could +not muster courage enough to attempt it--sad work this!--N.B. Observed +GRENVILLE made a note, that a man need not be an orator, to be +_Chancellor of the Exchequer_--he seemed pleased with the precedent. + +Nothing left for it but to cry _question!_--divided--only 54 +majority--here's a job! + +SHERIDAN read a cursed malicious paper, in which he proved PITT an +impostor: and that what FOX had openly demanded, the _Board of +Controul_ had secretly stolen.--Brother Commissioners all turned +pale--was obliged to rub their noses with _Thieves Vinegar_, and then +slunk out of the House as fast as I could.----N.B. Believe OLD +PEARSON's a sneering son of a bitch--tried to whistle as I went +through the lobby--asked me if I was unwell--damn his impudence. + +Came home in a very melancholy mood--returned thanks in a short prayer +for our narrow escape--drank a glass of brandy--confessed my +sins--determined to reform, and sent to WILBERFORCE for a good book--a +very worthy and religious young man that--like him much--always votes +with us. + +Was beginning to grow very dejected, when ROSE called to inform me +of an excellent scheme about BANK STOCK--a snug thing, and not more +than twenty in the secret--raised my spirits again--told the servant +I would not trouble Mr. WILBERFORCE--ordered a bottle of best +burgundy--set to it with ROSE, hand to fist--congratulated one another +on having got the DECLARATORY BILL out of our House--and drank good +luck to SYDNEY, and a speedy progress through the Lords. + + + + +INCANTATION, + +FOR RAISING A PHANTOM, IMITATED FROM MACBETH, AND LATELY PERFORMED +BY HIS MAJESTY'S SERVANTS IN WESTMINSTER. + + +_Thunder. A Cauldron boiling. +Enter three Witches._ + + _First Witch_. Thrice the Doctors have been heard, + _Second Witch_. Thrice the Houses have conferred. + _Third Witch_. Thrice hath SYDNEY cock'd his chin, + JENKY cries--begin, begin. + _First Witch_. Round about the cauldron go. + In the fell ingredients throw. + Still-born Foetus, born and bred, + In a Lawyer's puzzled head, + Hatch'd by Metaphysic Scot, + Boil thou in the' enchanted pot. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble; + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Second Witch_. Skull that holds the small remains + Of old CAMDEN's addle brains; + Liver of the lily's hue, + Which in RICHMOND's carcase grew; + Tears which stealing down the cheek + Of the rugged THURLOW, speak + All the poignant grief he feels + For his Sovereign--or the Seals; + For a charm of powerful trouble, + Like a Hell-broth, boil and bubble. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Third Witch._ Clippings of Corinthian brass + From the visage of DUNDAS; + Forg'd Address, devis'd by Rose, + Half of PEPPER ARDEN's nose; + Smuggled vote of City Thanks, + Promise of insidious BANKS; + Add a grain of ROLLO's courage, + To enflame the hellish porridge. + _First Witch_. Cool it, with LLOYD KENTON's blood. + Now the charm is firm and good. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + +_Enter_ HECATE, _Queen of the Witches._ + + _Hecate_. Oh! well done! I commend your pains, + And ev'ry one shall share i'th' gains, + +_Cauldron sinks. Witches fly away upon broomsticks; thunder, &c._ + + + + +TRANSLATIONS + +OF LORD BELGRAVE'S MEMORABLE QUOTATIONS, AS INTRODUCED IN A SPEECH +DELIVERED BY HIS LORDSHIP IN A LATE DEBATE. + + +[_It is with singular satisfaction we communicate the following most +excellent versions of_ Lord BELGRAVE's _never-to-be-forgotten +quotation; trusting, as we sincerely do, that so mark'd an attention +to his Lordship's scholarship may considerably console him under his +melancholy failure as an orator._] + + Lord BELGRAVE's Quotation. + + {Ton dapameibomenos prosephe podas okus Achilleus.} + + Translation by Lord _Grosvenor_. + + His dam was Thetis, acus his Sire, + And for his paces he was nam'd Highflyer. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Achilles, who was quite a man of whim, + And also had a swift foot, answer'd him---- + + Another by Sir _Cecil Wray_. + + There was a man, Achilles he was call'd, } + He had two feet, they were so swift, he ball'd, } + Or otherwise, he mought, I say, have fall'd. } + + Another by Lord _Mornington_, and Lord _Graham_. + + With lightest heels oppos'd to heaviest head, + To Lord Atrides, Lord Achilles said---- + + Another by the _Chancellor_. + + To him Achilles, with a furious nod, + Replied, a very pretty speech, by G--d! + + Another by Mr. _Grenville_. + + The Grecian speaker rose with look so big, + It spoke his bottom and nigh burst his wig---- + + Another by _Brook Watson_. + + Up stood Achilles on his nimble pegs, + And said, "May I _pree-seume_ to shew my legs?" + + Another by Mr. _Wilberforce_. + + Achilles came forward to snivel and rant; + His spirit was spleen and his piety cant. + + Another by Mr. _Pitt_. + + Frantic with rage, uprose the fierce Achilles: + "How comfortably calm!" said Nestor Willis---- + + Translation by Sir _John Scott_. + + With metaphysic art his speech he plann'd, + And said what nobody could understand. + + Another by Mr. _Bastard_. + + The Trojan I oppose, he said, 'tis true, + But I abuse and hate Atrides too. + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Enrag'd Achilles never would agree, + A "petty vote," a "menial slave," was he. + + Another by Mons. Alderman _Le Mesurier_. + + By gar, Achille he say, I make a you + Parler anoder launguage, _ventre bleu!_ + + Another by Lord _Westcote_. + + Pliant and prompt in crane-neck curves to wheel, + Achilles rose, and _turn'd_ upon his heel. + + Another by Mr. _Wilbraham Beetle_. + + In oily terms he urg'd the chiefs to peace, + For none was more a friend than he to Grease. + + Another by Lord _Bayham_. + + His conscious hat well lin'd with borrow'd prose, + The lubber chief in sulky mien arose; + Elate with pride his long pent silence broke, + And could he but have _read_, he might have spoke. + + Another by Mr. _Dundas_. + + Up the bra' chield arose, and weel I wis } + To beath sides booing, begg'd 'em to dismiss } + Their wordy warfare in "a general _peece_."[1] } + + Another by Mr. _York_. + + This windy war, he swore, he could not hear; + So eas'd his troubles by "a stream of _air!_[2]" + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Achilles swore he felt by no means hurt, + At putting on great Agamemnon's shirt; + He priz'd the honour, never grudg'd the trouble, + And only wish'd the profit had been double. + + Another by Lord _Winchelsea_. + + With formal mien, and visage most forlorn, + The courtly hero _spoke_ his _silent_ scorn. + + Another by Lord _Sydney_. + + The chief, unknowing how he shou'd begin, } + First darts around, the' opposing ranks to thin, } + The lightnings of his eye, and terrors of his chin. } + + Another by Mr. _Brandling_. + + Achilles rose, and said, without the least offence, + The dog has neither courage, worth, nor sense. + + Another by Lord _Belgrave_. + + Huic, ceu Pititius ipse, cito respondit Achilles, + Namque (ut ego) Grceque seirens erat, & pede velox. + + Another by the _Twelve Lords of the Bedchamber_, in a passion. + + Frantic with desperate rage, Achilles roar'd-- + I beg ten thousand pardons, my dear Lord. + + Another by _Eighteen Bishops_, quite cool. + + Now't came to pass the Lord Achilles saith, + Hecate and Furies, Tartarus and Death. + + Another by Lord _Howe_. + + Hawling his wind abaft Atrides' wake, + The copper-bottom'd son of Peleus spake. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Had great Achilles stood but half as quiet, + He had been by Xanthus drench'd as I by Wyatt. + +[1] It is impossible for the reader to comprehend the full force of +this expression, unless he recollect the wonderful effects it produced +in the House of Commons from Mr. Dundas's peculiar dialect, upon that +memorable occasion, when that great _diuretic_ orator, expatiating on +Oriental tranquillity, assured the House, that "at that moment all +India was _peece_--Bengal was at _peece_--Tippo sultan was at +_peece_--The Mahrattas were at _peece_--Every creature in Indostan, he +knew it for a _fawct, was comfortably at peece!!!_" + +[2] However sympathetic in politics, it is evident that the two last +of these translators are at variance in philosophy--the former relying +on the _hydraulic_ system---the latter on the _pneumatic_. + + +FINIS. + + + + +Transcriber's notes: + + Footnotes and imitations, which were originally placed at the +bottoms of the pages on which they were referenced, have been gathered +at the end of each chapter. + + The original footnote pointers (asterisks, obelisks, etc.) have been +replaced by Arabic numerals. + + All ligatures present in the original text have been resolved except +. + + Opening quotes in long quotations have been removed, except on the +first line. + + Transliterations from the Greek are enclosed in curly brackets, +like so: + {podas-okus} + + Archaic spelling has been retained. If in doubt, no correction has +been made. For example, the following have not been corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 308 : babes and suckling's mouths : babes and sucklings' mouths + 327 : And junto's speak : And juntos speak + 422 : independant : independent + + Spellings, of which it is assumed that they were not intended by +the authors, have been put right. These corrections were only made +after consulting earlier and/or later editions of the Rolliad. + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + iv : Delavalid : Delavaliad + 36 : feeedom : freedom + 84 : AHPION's lyre : AMPHION's lyre + 84 : postion : position + 126 : chip : ship + 135 : witticism of of his Grace : witticism of his Grace + 144 : The' Athenian sages : Th' Athenian sages + 168 : depe n d ants : dependants + 171 : sigh of love : sight of love + 172 : vi on : vision + 179 : chatised : chastised + 191 : neu te paeniteat calamo : nec te paeniteat calamo + 192 : Ex dixit moriens : Et dixit moriens + 192 : sparsis etiamnunc pellibus : sparsis etiam nunc pellibus + 200 : St. Sephen : St. Stephen + 213 : gie : gle + 229 : pecimens : specimens + 229 : Versificators Cronon : Versificators Coron + 304 : insruct me : instruct me + 308 : in worthy strain sbe sung : in worthy strains be sung + 316 : his mouth his opes : his mouth he opes + 351 : antistrope : antistrophe + 358 : sacred patern : sacred pattern + 440 : PRETEYMAN : PRETTYMAN + 507 : what the devil has he do : what the devil has he to do + + In the content of the original, subsequent odes were listed as +'Ditto', and at the start of a new page as 'Ode'. This was considered +unnecessary in an e-text. On page iv of the contents, 'Ode' has +therefore been replaced by 'Ditto'. + + In the eclogue on Jekyll every fifth line is numbered. However, +lines 20, 25 and 35 were too long to accommodate these numbers in +the original. Instead, lines 21, 26 and 36 received a number. In +this e-text, the numbering has been put on 20, 25, and 35. + + Similarly, in the eclogue on Nicholson the line number 105 did not +fit on the line. For that reason, line 106 bears the line number. + + In the eclogue on Jenkinson, line number 25 is placed on line 26. +This has been corrected in this e-text. + + The last word on page 349 and the first word on page 350 are both +'that'. One has been eliminated. + + The following typographical errors relating to punctuation have been +corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 224 : " " : " + 240 : Sir Joseph : "Sir Joseph + 442 : will seem true! : will seem true!" + 443 : by outlying, : by outlying. + + One poem, set in a blackletter script, has been marked like so: + +[Blackletter: + ... + ...] + + One couplet was struck through and has been marked like so: + +[Struck-through: + ... + ...] + + The original uses curly brackets that span over several lines to +indicate repetition. In the e-text each of the repeated lines ends + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Rolliad, in Two Parts, by +Joseph Richardson and George Ellis and Richard Tickell and French Laurence + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROLLIAD, IN TWO PARTS *** + +***** This file should be named 39726-8.txt or 39726-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.org/3/9/7/2/39726/ + +Produced by Steffen Haugk + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Rolliad, in Two Parts + Probationary Odes for the Laureatship & Political Eclogues + +Author: Joseph Richardson + George Ellis + Richard Tickell + French Laurence + +Release Date: May 19, 2012 [EBook #39726] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE ROLLIAD, IN TWO PARTS *** + + + + +Produced by Steffen Haugk + + + + +THE ROLLIAD, +IN TWO PARTS; +PROBATIONARY ODES +FOR THE +_LAUREATSHIP_; +AND POLITICAL ECLOGUES: +WITH +CRITICISMS AND ILLUSTRATIONS. +REVISED, CORRECTED AND ENLARGED BY THE ORIGINAL AUTHORS. + + * * * * * + +THE TWENTY-FIRST EDITION. + + * * * * * + +_LONDON:_ +PRINTED FOR J. RIDGWAY, YORK-STREET, ST. JAMES'S SQUARE. + + * * * * * + +1799 + + + + +CONTENTS. + + + Criticisms on the Rolliad. Part the First + Ditto. Part the Second + + POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + The Rose + The Lyars + Margaret Nicholson + Charles Jenkinson + Jekyll + + PROBATIONARY ODES. + Preliminary Discourse + Thoughts on Ode Writing + Recommendatory Testimonies + Account of Mr. Warton's Ascension + Laureat Election + ODE, by Sir C. Wray, Bart. + Ditto, by Lord Mulgrave + Ditto, by Sir Joseph Mawbey, Bart. + Ditto, by Sir Richard Hill, Bart. + Ditto, by Mr. Macpherson + Ditto, by Mr. Mason + Ditto, by the Attorney-General + Ditto, by N. W. Wraxhall, Esq. + Ditto, by Sir G. P. Turner, Bart. + Ditto, by M. A. Taylor, Esq. + Ditto, by Major John Scott, M. P. + Ditto, by Henry Dundas, Esq. + Ditto, by Dr. Joseph Warton + Ditto, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Lord Thurlow + Ditto, by Dr. Prettyman + Ditto, by the Marquis of Graham + Second ODE, by Lord Mountmorres + Ditto, by Sir George Howard, K. B. + Ditto, by Abp. Markham + Official Ode, by the Rev. Thomas Warton + Proclamation, &c. + Table of Instructions + + POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + Address to the Public + Ode extraordinary, by the Rev. W. Mason + The Statesman, an Eclogue + Rondeaus + Epigrams on the Immaculate Boy + The Delavaliad + This is the House that George built + Epigrams by Sir Cecil Wray + Lord Graham's Diary + Extracts from Second Volume of Lord Mulgrave's Essays on Eloquence + Anecdotes of Mr. Pitt + Letter from a new Member to his Friend in the Country + The Political Receipt Book + Hints from Dr. Prettyman to the Premier's Porter + A Tale + Dialogue between a certain Personage and his Minister + Prettymaniana.--Epigrams on the Rev. Dr. P--------'s Duplicity + ------Foreign Epigrams + Advertisement Extraordinary + Vive le Scrutiny; Cross Gospel the First + ----------------- Cross Gospel the Second + Paragraph Office, Ivy-lane.--Proclamation + Pitt and Pinetti, a Parallel + New Abstract from the Budget + Theatrical Intelligence extraordinary + The Westminster Guide, Part I. + ---------------------- Part II. + Inscription, to the Memory of the late Marquis of Rockingham + Epigrams on one Pigot + Billy Eden, or the Renegado Scout, a Ballad + Epigrams on Sir Elijah Impey refusing to resign his gown as + Chief Justice of Bengal + Proclamation + Original Letter + A Congratulatory Ode + Ode to Sir Elijah Impey + Song + Master Billy's Budget.--A new Song + Epigrams + Ministerial undoubted Facts + Journal of the Right Hon. Henry Dundas + Incantation + Translations of Lord Belgrave's memorable quotation + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT TO THE FOURTH EDITION. + + +Three very large impressions of the following work being already sold, +and the demand for it daily increasing, it is now a fourth time +submitted to the Public, revised and corrected from the many literal +errors, which, with every precaution, will too often deform a first +edition; especially when circumstances render an early publication +necessary. + + * * * * * + +In the present edition some few alterations have been made, but +none of any considerable magnitude; except that the Appendix of +Miscellaneous Pieces is here suppressed. This has been done, in some +degree, for the conveniency of binding this first part of the +CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD with the second; but more, indeed, in +consequence of a design, which we at present entertain, of printing +most of those pieces with other productions of the same Authors in +one octavo volume, under the title of POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +As the bulk and matter of the book are thus diminished, the price also +is proportionally reduced. Where the CRITICISMS seem to require any +elucidation from the contents of the former Appendix, extracts are +now given at the bottom of the page instead of the references in our +former Editions. + + * * * * * + +This slight change we flatter ourselves will not be disapproved by +the Public; and we hope, that they will not receive with a less degree +of favour the intimation here given of the Miscellaneous Volume, which +will probably be published in the course of the ensuing winter. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT. + + +The CRITICISMS ON THE ROLLIAD, in their original form, excited such +a general curiosity, that three spurious editions have already been +sold, independently of their publication in various of the Daily +Papers, and Monthly Magazines. Such a marked testimony in their +favour, cannot but be peculiarly flattering to us. We therefore +thought it incumbent on us in return, to exert our utmost endeavours +in rendering them, as far as our judgment will direct us, yet more +worthy of that attention with which they have been honoured, imperfect +as they fell from us, through a channel, that did not seem necessarily +to demand any very great degree of precision. + +In the present edition some few passages have been expunged; others +softened; many enlarged; more corrected; and two whole numbers, with +the greater part of a third, are altogether new. A poeticoprosaical +Dedication to SIR LLOYD KENYON, now Lord Chief Justice of the +Court of King's Bench, has also been added; and an Appendix is now +given, consisting of Miscellaneous Pieces, to which the Criticisms +incidentally refer. + + * * * * * + +It may perhaps give offence to some very chastized judgments, that in +this our authentic edition, we have subjoined notes on a professed +commentary. Some short explanations, however, appeared occasionally +necessary, more especially as the subjects of Political Wit in their +very nature are fugitive and evanescent. We only fear that our +illustrations have not been sufficiently frequent, as we have +privately been asked to what "Mr. Hardinge's Arithmetic" in the +Dedication alluded; so little impression was made on the public by +the learned Gentleman's elaborate calculation of the Orations spoken, +and the time expended in the discussion of the Westminster Scrutiny! +Indeed, we have known persons even ignorant that Sir Lloyd Kenyon +voted for his stables. + +This Edition has further been ornamented with a Tree of the Genealogy, +and the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES; for an +explanation of which we beg leave to refer the reader to page xiii. +The Genealogy is likewise given at full length from the Morning +Herald, where it was originally published, and was probably the +foundation of the ROLLIAD. It is therefore inserted in its proper +place, before the first extract from the Dedication to the Poem, which +immediately preceded the first Numbers of the CRITICISMS. + + + + +EXPLANATION OF THE FRONTISPIECE AND TITLE-PAGE. + + +The FRONTISPIECE represents Duke ROLLO, with his Sword and Ducal +Coronet lying by his side. It is supposed to be a striking likeness, +and was copied from a painting in the Window of a Church at Rouen +in Normandy. From this illustrious Warrior springs a Tree of the +Genealogy of the ROLLOS, now ROLLES. The most eminent of this great +Family alone are noticed. The particulars of their history may be +found in page xxix and xxx. +[Transcriber's note: Refers to + 'Short Account of the Family of the Rollos'] + + * * * * * + +The TITLE-PAGE exhibits the Arms, Motto, and Crest of the Family. +The Arms are, Three French Rolls, Or, between two Rolls of Parchment, +Proper, placed in form of a Cheveron on a Field Argent--The Motto is +_Jouez bien votre Role_, or, as we have sometimes seen it +spelt--_Rolle_. The Crest, which has been lately changed by the present +Mr. ROLLE, is a half-length of the Master of the Rolls, like a Lion +demi-rampant with a Roll of Parchment instead of a Pheon's Head +between his Paws. + + + + +DEDICATION. +To Sir Lloyd Kenyan, Bart. +MASTER OF THE ROLLS, &c. &c. + + +MAY IT PLEASE YOUR HONOUR, + +It was originally my intention to have dedicated the CRITICISMS on +the ROLLIAD, as the ROLLIAD itself is dedicated, to the illustrious +character, from whose hereditary name the Poem derives its title; +and[1], as I some time since apprized the public, I had actually +obtained his permission to lay this little work at his feet. No +sooner, however, was he made acquainted with my after-thought of +inscribing my book to your honour, but, with the liberality, which +ever marks a great mind, he wrote to me of his own accord, declaring +his compleat acquiescence in the propriety of the alteration. For if +I may take the liberty of transcribing his own ingenuous and modest +expression, "I am myself," said he, "but _a simple Rolle_; SIR LLOYD +KENYON _is a Master of Rolls_." + + Great ROLLO's heir, whose cough, whose laugh, whose groan, + The' Antaeus EDMUND has so oft o'erthrown: + Whose cry of "question" silenc'd CHARLES's sense; + That cry, more powerful than PITT's eloquence; + Ev'n he, thus high in glory, as in birth, + Yields willing way to thy superior worth. + +Indeed, if I had not been so happy as to receive this express sanction +of Mr. ROLLE's concurrence, I should nevertheless have thought myself +justified in presuming it, from the very distinguished testimony which +he has lately borne to your merits, by taking a demi-rampant of YOUR +HONOUR for his crest; a circumstance, in my opinion, so highly +complimentary to your honour, that I was studious to have it as +extensively known as possible. I have therefore given directions to +my Publisher, to exhibit your portrait, with the ROLLE ARMS, and +Motto, by way of Vignette in the Title Page; that displayed, as I +trust it will be, at the Window of every Bookseller in Great-Britain, +it may thus attract the admiration of the most incurious, as they pass +along the streets. This solicitude, to diffuse the knowledge of your +person, as widely as your fame, may possibly occasion some little +distress to your modesty; yet permit me to hope, SIR LLOYD, that the +motive will plead my pardon; and, perhaps, even win the approbation of +your smile; if you can be supposed to smile without offence to the +gravity of that nature, which seems from your very birth to have +marked you for a Judge. + + Behold the' Engraver's mimic labours trace + The sober image of that sapient face: + See him, in each peculiar charm exact, + Below dilate it, and above contract; + For Nature thus, inverting her design, + From vulgar ovals hath distinguish'd thine: + See him each nicer character supply, + The pert no-meaning puckering round the eye, + The mouth in plaits precise demurely clos'd, + Each order'd feature, and each line compos'd, + Where Wisdom sits a-squat, in starch disguise, + Like Dulness couch'd, to catch us by surprise. + And now he spreads around thy pomp of wig, + In owl-like pride of legal honour's big; + That wig, which once of curl on curl profuse, + In well-kept buckle stiff, and smugly spruce, + Deck'd the plain Pleader; then in nobler taste, + With well-frizz'd bush the' Attorney-General grac'd; + And widely waving now with ampler flow, + Still with thy titles and thy fame shall grow, + Behold, SIR LLOYD, and while with fond delight + The dear resemblance feasts thy partial sight, + Smile, if thou canst; and, smiling on this book, + Cast the glad omen of one favouring look. + +But it is on public grounds, that I principally wish to vindicate my +choice of YOUR HONOUR for my Patron. The ROLLIAD, I have reason +to believe, owed its existence to the [2] memorable speech of the +Member of Devonshire on the first Discussion of the Westminster +Scrutiny, when he so emphatically proved himself the genuine +descendant of DUKE ROLLO; and in the noble contempt which he avowed, +for the boasted rights of Electors, seemed to breathe the very soul +of his great progenitor, who came to extirpate the liberties of +Englishmen with the sword. It must be remembered, however, that +Your Honour ministered the occasion to his glory. You, SIR LLOYD, +have ever been reputed the immediate Author of the Scrutiny. Your +opinion is said to have been privately consulted on the framing of +the Return; and your public defence of the High-Bailiff's proceeding, +notoriously furnished MR. ROLLO, and the other friends of the +Minister, with all the little argument, which they advanced against +the objected exigency of the Writ. You taught them to reverence that +holy thing, the Conscience of a Returning Officer, above all Law, +Precedent, Analogy, Public Expediency, and the popular Right of +Representation, to which our Forefathers erroneously paid religious +respect, as to the most sacred franchise of our Constitution. You +prevailed on them to manifest an impartiality singularly honourable; +and to prefer the sanctity of this single Conscience, to a round dozen +of the most immaculate consciences, chosen in the purest possible +manner from their own _pure House of Commons_. + + Thine is the glorious measure; thine alone: + Thee father of the Scrutiny, we own. + Ah! without thee what treasures had we lost, + More worth than twenty Scrutinies would cost! + To' instruct the Vestry, and convince the House, + What Law from MURPHY! what plain sense from ROUS! + What wit from MULGRAVE! from DUNDAS, what truth! + What perfect virtue from the VIRTUOUS YOUTH! + What deep research from ARDEN the profound! + What argument from BEARCROFT ever sound! + By MUNCASTER, what generous offers made; + By HARDINGE, what arithmetic display'd! + And, oh! what rhetoric, from MAHON that broke + In printed speeches, which he never spoke! + Ah! without thee, what worth neglected long, + Had wanted still its dearest meed of song! + In vain high-blooded ROLLE, unknown to fame, + Had boasted still the honours of his name: + In vain had exercis'd his noble spleen + On BURKE and FOX--the ROLLIAD had not been. + +But, alas! SIR LLOYD, at the very moment, while I am writing, +intelligence has reached me, that the Scrutiny is at an end. Your +favourite measure is no more. The child of your affection has met +a sudden and a violent fate. I trust, however, that "the Ghost of +the departed Scrutiny" (in the bold but beautiful language of MR. +DUNDAS) will yet haunt the spot, where it was brought forth, where +it was fostered, and where it fell. Like the Ghost of Hamlet it shall +be a perturbed spirit, though it may not come in a questionable shape. +It shall fleet before the eyes of those to whom it was dear, +to admonish them, how they rush into future dangers; to make known +the secret of its private hoards; or to confess to them the sins of +its former days, and to implore their piety, that they would give +peace to its shade, by making just reparation. Perhaps too, it may +sometimes visit the murderer, like the ghost of Banquo, to dash his +joys. It cannot indeed rise up in its proper form to push him from +his seat, yet it may assume some other formidable appearance to be +his eternal tormentor. These, however, are but visionary consolations, +while every loyal bosom must feel substantial affliction from the late +iniquitous vote, tyrannically compelling the High-Bailiff to make a +return after an enquiry of nine months only; especially when you had +so lately armed him with all power necessary to make his enquiry +effectual. + + [3] Ah! how shall I the' unrighteous vote bewail? + Again corrupt Majorities prevail. + Poor CORBETT's Conscience, tho' a little loth, + Must blindly gape, and gulp the' untasted oath; + If he, whose conscience never felt a qualm, + If GROGAN fail the good man's doubts to calm. + No more shall MORGAN, for his six months' hire, + Contend, that FOX should share the' expence of fire; + Whole Sessions shall he _croak_, nor bear away + The price, that paid the silence of a day: + No more, till COLLICK some new story hatch, + Long-winded ROUS for hours shall praise Dispatch; + COLLICK to Whigs and Warrants back shall slink, + And ROUS, a Pamphleteer, re-plunge in ink: + MURPHY again French Comedies shall steal, + Call them his own, and garble, to conceal; + Or, pilfering still, and patching without grace + His thread-bare shreds of Virgil out of place, + With Dress and Scenery, Attitude and Trick, + Swords, Daggers, Shouts, and Trumpets in the nick, + With Ahs! and Ohs! Starts, Pauses, Rant, and Rage, + Give a new GRECIAN DAUGHTER to the stage: + But, Oh, SIR CECIL!--Fled to shades again + From the proud roofs, which here he raised in vain, + He seeks, unhappy! with the Muse to cheer + His rising griefs, or drown them in small-beer! + Alas! the Muse capricious flies the hour + When most we need her, and the beer is sour: + Mean time Fox thunders faction uncontroul'd, + Crown'd with fresh laurels, from new triumphs bold. + +These general evils arising from the termination of the Scrutiny, +YOUR HONOUR, I doubt not, will sincerely lament in common with all +true lovers of their King and Country. But in addition to these, you, +SIR LLOYD, have particular cause to regret, that [4] "the last hair in +this tail of procrastination" is plucked. I well know, what eager +anxiety you felt to establish the suffrage, which you gave, as the +delegate of your Coach-horses: and I unaffectedly condole with you, +that you have lost this great opportunity of displaying your +unfathomable knowledge and irresistible logic to the confusion of +your enemies. How learnedly would you have quoted the memorable +instance of Darius, who was elected King of Persia by the casting +vote of his Horse! Though indeed the merits of that election have been +since impeached, not from any alledged illegality of the vote itself, +if it had been fairly given; but because some jockeyship has been +suspected, and the voter, it has been said, was bribed the night +before the election! How ably too would you have applied the case +of Caligula's horse, who was chosen Consul of Rome! For if he was +capable of being elected (you would have said) _a fortiori_, there +could have been no natural impediment to his being an elector; since +_omne majus continet in se minus_, and the trust is certainly greater +to fill the first offices of the state, than to have one share among +many in appointing to them. Neither can I suppose that you would have +omitted so grave and weighty an authority as Captain Gulliver, who, +in the course of his voyages, discovered a country, where Horses +discharged every Duty of Political Society. You might then have passed +to the early history of our own island, and have expatiated on the +known veneration in which horses were held by our Saxon Ancestors; +who, by the way, are supposed also to have been the founders +of Parliaments. You might have touched on their famous standard; +digressed to the antiquities of the White Horse, in Berkshire, and +other similar monuments in different counties; and from thence have +urged the improbability, that when they instituted elections, they +should have neglected the rights of an animal, thus highly esteemed +and almost sanctified among them. I am afraid indeed, that with all +your Religion and Loyalty, you could not have made much use of the +White Horse of Death, or the White Horse of Hanover. But, for a +_bonne bouche_, how beautifully might you have introduced your +favourite maxim of _ubi ratio, ibi jus!_ and to prove the reason of +the thing, how convincingly might you have descanted, in an elegant +panegyric on the virtues and abilities of horses, from Xanthus the +Grecian Conjuring Horse, whose prophecies are celebrated by Homer, +down to the Learned Little Horse over Westminster Bridge! with whom +you might have concluded, lamenting that, as he is not an Elector, +the Vestry could not have the assistance of one, capable of doing +so much more justice to the question than yourself!--Pardon me, +SIR LLOYD, that I have thus attempted to follow the supposed course +of your oratory. I feel it to be truly inimitable. Yet such was the +impression made on my mind by some of YOUR HONOUR's late reasonings +respecting the Scrutiny, that I could not withstand the involuntary +impulse of endeavouring, for my own improvement, to attain some faint +likeness of that wonderful pertinency and cogency, which I so much +admired in the great original. + + How shall the neighing kind thy deeds requite, + Great YAHOO Champion of the HOUYHNHNM's right? + In grateful memory may thy dock-tail pair, + Unarm'd convey thee with sure-footed care. + Oh! may they, gently pacing o'er the stones, + With no rude shock annoy thy batter'd bones, + Crush thy judicial cauliflow'r, and down + Shower the mix'd lard and powder o'er thy gown; + Or in unseemly wrinkles crease that band, + Fair work of fairer LADY KENYON's hand. + No!--May the pious brutes, with measur'd swing, + Assist the friendly motion of the spring, + While golden dreams of perquisites and fees + Employ thee, slumbering o'er thine own decrees. + But when a Statesman in St. Stephen's walls + Thy Country claims thee, and the Treasury calls, + To pour thy splendid bile in bitter tide + On hardened sinners who with Fox divide, + Then may they, rattling on in jumbling trot, + With rage and jolting make thee doubly hot, + Fire thy Welch blood, enflamed with zeal and leeks, + And kindle the red terrors of thy cheeks, + Till all thy gather'd wrath in furious fit + On RIGBY bursts--unless he votes with PITT. + +I might here, SIR LLOYD, launch into a new panegyric on the subject +of this concluding couplet. But in this I shall imitate your +moderation, who, for reasons best known to yourself, have long +abandoned to MR ROLLE[5] "those loud and repeated calls on notorious +defaulters, which will never be forgiven by certain patriots." +Besides, I consider your public-spirited behaviour in the late +Election and Scrutiny for Westminster, as the great monument of your +fame to all posterity. I have, therefore, dwelt on this--more +especially as it was immediately connected with the origin of the +ROLLIAD--till my dedication has run to such a length, that I cannot +think of detaining your valuable time any longer; unless merely to +request your HONOUR's zealous protection of a work which may be in +some sort attributed to you, as its ultimate cause, which is +embellished with your portrait, and which now records in this address, +the most brilliant exploit of your political glory. + + Choak'd by _a Roll_, 'tis said, that OTWAY died; + OTWAY the Tragic Muse's tender pride. + Oh! may my ROLLE to me, thus favour'd, give + A better fate;--that I may eat, and live! + + I am, YOUR HONOUR's + Most obedient, + Most respectful, + Most devoted, humble servant, + THE EDITOR. + + +[1] In a postscript originally subjoined to the eighth Number. + +[2] Mr. Rolle said, "he could not be kept all the summer debating +about the rights of the Westminster electors. His private concerns +were of more importance to him; than his right as a Westminster +Elector." + +[3] I shall give the Reader in one continued note, what information +I think necessary for understanding these verses. During the six +months that the Scrutiny continued in St. Martin's, the most +distinguished exhibition of Mr. Morgan's talents was the maintenance +of an argument, that Mr. Fox ought to pay half the expence of fire +in the room where the Witnesses attended. The learned Gentleman is +familiarly called _Frog_, to which I presume the Author alludes in +the word _croak_. Mr. Rous spoke two hours to recommend Expedition. +At the time the late Parliament was dissolved, he wrote two Pamphlets +in favour of the Ministry. I have forgot the titles of these +pamphlets, as probably the reader has too, if he ever knew them. +However, I can assure him of the fact.--Mr. Collick, the +Witness-General of Sir Cecil Wray, is a Hair-Merchant and Justice +of Peace. Sir Cecil's taste both for Poetry and Small-beer are well +known, as is the present unfinished state of his newly-fronted house in +Pall-Mall. + +[4] "This appears to be the last hair in the tail of procrastination" +The Master of the Rolls, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker. See Lord Mulg. Essays on Eloquence, Vol. II. + +[5] Mr. Ridgway tells me, he thinks there is something like these +words in one of the Reviews, where the ROLLIAD is criticised. + + + + +SHORT ACCOUNT +OF THE FAMILY OF THE +ROLLOS, _now_ ROLLES, +FAITHFULLY EXTRACTED FROM THE +RECORDS OF THE HERALD'S OFFICE. + + +JOHN ROLLE, Esq. is descended from the ancient Duke ROLLO, of +Normandy; ROLLO passed over into Britain, anno 983, where he soon +begat another ROLLO, upon the wife of a Saxon drummer. Our young ROLLO +was distinguished by his gigantic stature, and, as we learn from +ODERICUS VITALIS, was slain by Hildebrand, the Danish Champion, +in a fit of jealousy. We find in Camden, that the race of the ROLLOS +fell into adversity in the reign of Stephen, and in the succeeding +reign, GASPAR DE ROLLO was an Ostler in Denbighshire.--But during +the unhappy contests of York and Lancaster, William de Wyrcester, +and the continuator of the annals of Croyland, have it, that the +ROLLOS became Scheriffes of Devon. "_Scheriffi Devonienses_ ROLLI +_fuerunt_"--and in another passage, "_arrestaverunt Debitores plurime_ +ROLLORUM"--hence a doubt in Fabian, whether this ROLLO was not +Bailiff, _ipse potius quam Scheriffus_. From this period, however, +they gradually advanced in circumstances; ROLLO, in Henry the VIIIth, +being amerced in 800 marks for pilfering two manchetts of beef from +the King's buttery, the which, saith Selden, _facillime payavit_. + +In 7th and 8th of Phil. and Mar. three ROLLOS indeed were gibetted for +piracy, and from that date the family changed the final O of the name +into an E. In the latter annals of the ROLLOS now ROLLES, but little +of consequence is handed down to us. We have it that TIMOTHY ROLLE +of Plympton, in the 8th of Queen Anne, endowed three alms-houses +in said town. JEREMIAH his second son was counted the fattest man of +his day, and DOROTHEA ROLLE his third cousin died of a terrible +dysentery. From this period the ROLLES have burst upon public notice, +with such a blaze of splendour, as renders all further accounts of +this illustrious race entirely unnecessary. + + + + +EXTRACT FROM THE DEDICATION +OF THE +ROLLIAD. +AN +_EPIC POEM_, +IN +TWELVE BOOKS. + + + When Norman ROLLO sought fair Albion's coast, + (Long may his offspring prove their country's boast!) + Thy genius, Britain, sure inspir'd his soul + To bless this Island with the race of ROLLE! + Illustrious ROLLE! O may thy honour'd name + _Roll_ down distinguish'd on the _Rolls_ of fame! + Still first be found on Devon's county polls! + Still future Senates boast their future ROLLES! + Since of all _Rolls_ which in this world we see, + The world has ne'er produc'd a _Roll_ like thee. + Hot _Rolls_ and butter break the Briton's fast, + Thy speeches yield a more sublime repast. + Compar'd to thine, how small their boasted heat! + Nor, mix'd with treacle, are they half so sweet. + O'er _Rolls_ of parchment Antiquarians pore, + Thy mind, O ROLLE, affords a richer store. + Let those on law or history who write, + To Rolls of Parliament resort for light, + Whilst o'er our Senate, from our living ROLLE, + Beam the bright rays of an enlightened soul; + In wonder lost, we slight their useless stuff, + And feel one ROLLE of Parliament enough. + The skill'd musician to direct his band, + Waves high a Roll of paper in his hand; + When PITT would drown the eloquence of BURKE, + You seem the ROLLE best suited to his work; + His well-train'd band, obedient know their cue, + And cough and groan in unison with you. + Thy god-like ancestor, in valour tried, + Still bravely fought by conqu'ring WILLIAM's side: + In British blood he drench'd his purple sword, + Proud to partake the triumphs of his lord: + So you, with zeal, support through each debate, + The conqu'ring WILLIAM of a latter date: + Whene'er he speaks, attentive still to chear + The lofty nothing with a friendly "hear," + And proud your leader's glory to promote, + Partake his triumph in a faithful vote. + Ah! sure while Coronets like hailstones fly, + When Peers are made, the Gods alone know why, + Thy hero's gratitude, O ROLLE, to thee, + A ducal diadem might well decree; + Great ROLLO's title to thy house restore, + Let E usurp the place of O no more, } + Then ROLLE himself should be what ROLLO was before. } + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + + "Cedite Romani Scriptores, cedite Graeci." + +Nothing can be more consonant to the advice of Horace and Aristotle, +than the conduct of our author throughout this Poem. The action is +one, entire and great event, being the procreation of a child on the +wife of a Saxon Drummer. The Poem opens with a most laboured and +masterly description of a storm. ROLLO's state of mind in this arduous +situation is finely painted: + + Now ROLLO storms more loudly than the wind, + Now doubts and black despair perplex his mind; + Hopeless to see his vessel safely harbour'd, + He hardly knows his starboard for his larboard! + +That a hero in distress should not know his right hand from his left, +is most natural and affecting; in other hands, indeed, it would not +have appeared sufficiently poetical, but the technical expressions +of our author convey the idea in all the blaze of metaphor. The storm +at length subsides, and ROLLO is safely landed on the coast of Sussex. +His first exploit, like that of AEneas, is deer-stealing. He then sets +out in the disguise of a Sussex Smuggler, to obtain intelligence of +the country and its inhabitants: + + Wrapt in a close great-coat, he plods along; + A seeming Smuggler, to deceive the throng. + +This expedient of the Smuggler's Great-coat, we must acknowledge, +is not quite so Epic, as the veil of clouds, with which Minerva in +the Odyssey, and Venus, in the AEneid, surround their respective +heroes. It is, however, infinitely more natural, and gains in +propriety, what it loses in sublimity. Thus disguised, our adventurer +arrives at the Country-house of Dame SHIPTON, a lady of exquisite +beauty, and first Concubine to the Usurper HAROLD. Her likeness +(as we all know) is still preserved at the wax-work in Fleet-Street. +To this lady ROLLO discovers himself, and is received by her in +the most hospitable manner. At supper, he relates to her, with great +modesty, his former actions, and his design of conquering England; +in which (charmed with the grace with which he eats and tells stories) +she promises to assist him, and they set off together for London. +In the third book Dame SHIPTON, or, as the author styles her, +SHIPTONIA, proposes a party to the puppet-show; on the walk they are +surprised by a shower, and retire under Temple-bar, where Shiptonia +forgets her fidelity to Harold. We are sorry to observe, that this +incident is not sufficiently poetical; nor does Shiptonia part with +her chastity in so solemn a manner as Dido in the AEneid. In the +opening of the fourth book, likewise, we think our author inferior +to Virgil, whom he exactly copies, and in some places translates; +he begins in this manner: + + But now (for thus it was decreed above) + SHIPTONIA falls excessively in love; + In every vein, great ROLLO's eyes and fame + Light up, and then add fuel to the flame! + His words, his beauty, stick within her breast, + Nor do her cares afford her any rest. + +Here we think that Virgil's "haerent infixi pectore vultus verbaque," +is ill translated by the prosaic word _stick_. We must confess, +however, that from the despair and death of Shiptonia, to the battle +of Hastings, in which ROLLO kills with his own hand the Saxon Drummer, +and carries off his wife, the Poem abounds with beautiful details, +cold-blooded matter of facts. Critics may perhaps object that it +appears from the Genealogy of the Rollos, Duke ROLLO came to England +more than 60 years before the battle of Hastings: though the Poet +represents him as the principal hero in that memorable engagement. +But such deviations from history are among the common licences +of poetry. Thus Virgil, for the sake of a beautiful episode, makes +Dido live in the time of AEneas, whereas she lived in reality +200 years before the Trojan war; and if authority more in point be +desired, Mr. Cumberland wrote a Tragedy, called the Battle of +Hastings, in which there was not a single event, except the death of +Harold, that had the slightest foundation in historical facts, or even +probability. + +But the sixth book, in which ROLLO, almost despairing of success, +descends into a Night Cellar to consult the illustrious MERLIN on +his future destiny, is a master-piece of elegance. In this book, +as the Philosopher's magic lantern exhibits the characters of all +ROLLO's descendants, and even all those who are to act on the same +stage with the Marcellus of the piece, the present illustrious +Mr. ROLLE, we mean to select in our next number some of the most +striking passages of this inexhaustible Magazine of Poetry! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +Our author, after giving an account of the immediate descendants of +ROLLO, finds himself considerably embarrassed by the three unfortunate +ROLLOS[1], whom history relates to have been hanged. From this +difficulty, however, he relieves himself, by a contrivance equally new +and arduous, viz. by versifying the bill of indictment, and inserting +in it a flaw, by which they are saved from condemnation. But in the +transactions of those early times, however dignified the phraseology, +and enlivened by fancy, there is little to amaze and less to interest; +let us hasten, therefore, to those characters about whom not to be +solicitous, is to want curiosity, and whom not to admire, is to want +gratitude--to those characters, in short, whose splendour illuminates +the present House of Commons. + +Of these, our author's principal favourite appears to be that +amiable[2] young Nobleman, whose Diary we have all perused with +so much pleasure. Of him he says,-- + + ------Superior to abuse, + He nobly glories in the name of GOOSE; + Such Geese at Rome from the perfidious Gaul + Preserv'd the Treas'ry-Bench and Capitol, &c. &c. + +In the description of Lord MAHON, our author departs a little from +his wonted gravity,-- + + ------This Quixote of the Nation, + Beats his own Windmills in gesticulation, + To _Strike_, not _please_, his utmost force he bends, + And all his sense is at his fingers ends, &c. &c. + +But the most beautiful effort of our author's genius (if we +except only the character of Mr. ROLLE himself) is contained +in the description of Mr. PITT. + + Pert without fire, without experience sage, + Young with more art than SHELBURNE glean'd from age, + loo proud from pilfer'd greatness to descend, + Too humble not to call DUNDAS his friend, + In solemn dignity and sullen state, + This new Octavius rises to debate! + Mild and more mild he sees each placid row + Of Country Gentlemen with rapture glow; + He sees, convuls'd with sympathetic throbs, + Apprentice Peers, and deputy Nabobs! + Nor Rum Contractors think his speech too long, + While words, like treacle, trickle from his Tongue! + O Soul congenial to the Souls of ROLLES! + Whether you tax the luxury of Coals, + Or vote some necessary millions more, + To feed an Indian friend's exhausted store, + Fain would I praise (if I like thee could praise) + Thy matchless virtues in congenial lays. + But, Ah! too weak, &c. &c. + +This apology, however, is like the _nolo episcopari_ of Bishops; +for our author continues his panegyric during about one hundred +and fifty lines more, after which he proceeds to a task (as he says) +more congenial to his abilities, and paints + + ------in smooth confectionary style, + The simpering sadness of his MULGRAVE's smile. + +From the character of this nobleman we shall only select a part of +one couplet, which tends to elucidate our author's astonishing powers +in imitative harmony, + + ------"within his lab'ring throat + The shrill shriek struggles with the harsh hoarse note." + +As we mean to excite, and not to satisfy at once the curiosity of our +readers, we shall here put a period to our extracts for the present. +We cannot, however, conclude this essay, without observing, that there +are very few lines in the whole work which are at all inferior to +those we have selected for the entertainment of our readers. + +[1] See the Genealogy, p. xxvii, xxviii. + +[2] Lord Graham. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +In proof of the assurance with which we concluded our last number, +we shall now proceed to give the character of SIR RICHARD HILL. + +Our Readers, probably, are well acquainted with the worthy Baronet's +promiscuous quotations from the Bible and Rochester; and they may +possibly remember (if they were awake, when they read them) some +elegant verses, which he repeated in the House of Commons, and +afterwards inserted in the public papers, as the production of a +sleepless Night. We know not, however, if they may so easily recal +to mind his remarkable declaration, both of his Loyalty and Religion, +in the prettily-turned phrase, "that indeed he loved King GEORGE +very well, but he loved King JESUS better." But as our Poet has +alluded to it, we thought necessary to mention it; and for the same +reason to add, that like Lord MAHON, Major SCOTT, Mr. ATKINSON, +Mr. WILKES, and Captain J. LUTTRELL, he writes his own speeches for +the public Reporters. We should also have been happy to have enlivened +our commentary with some extracts from the controversy, at which our +Author glances; we mean the answer of Sir Richard to Mr. Madan, on the +doctrine of Polygamy; a subject, which the tenour of our Baronet's +reading in his two favourite books, peculiarly qualified him to handle +with equally pleasantry and orthodoxy. But all our industry to procure +his pamphlet unfortunately proved ineffectual. We never saw more of it +than the title-page, which we formerly purchased in the lining of +a trunk, at the corner of St. Paul's Church-yard. + +We are conscious, that these introductory explanations must seem +doubly dull, to Readers impatient for such exquisite poetry as +the ROLLIAD. They appeared, however, indispensible to the due +understanding of the verses, which we shall now give without +further preface. + + Brother of ROWLAND, or, if yet more dear + Sounds thy new title, Cousin of a Peer; + Scholar of various learning, good or evil, + Alike what God inspir'd, or what the Devil; + Speaker well skill'd, what no man hears, to write; + Sleep-giving Poet, of a sleepless night; + Polemic, Politician, Saint, and Wit, + Now lashing MADAN, now defending PITT; + Thy praise shall live till time itself be o'er, + Friend of King GEORGE, tho' of King JESUS more! + +The solemnity of this opening is well suited to the dignity of +the occasion. The heroes of Homer generally address each other by +an appellative, marking their affinity to some illustrious personage. +The Grecian poet, it must be confessed, in such cases, uses a +patronymic, expressive of the genealogy; as _Pelides_, _AEacides_, +_Laertiades_; but it is not absolutely necessary to observe this +rule.--For, [1]M'Pherson, a poet with whom our author is most likely to +be intimately acquainted, makes his hero, Fingal, address Ossian by +the title of "Father of Oscar." It should seem therefore to be +sufficient, if in addressing a great man, you particularise any +celebrated character of the family who may be supposed to reflect +honour on his connections; and the Reverend ROWLAND HILL was certainly +the most celebrated of our worthy Baronet's relations, before the +late creation of Lord BERWICK, on which the next line happily touches. + +Our author seems very fond of Mr. DUNDAS, + + Whose exalted soul + No bonds of vulgar prejudice controul. + Of shame unconscious in his bold career, + He spurns that honour, which the weak revere; + For, true to public Virtue's patriot plan, + He loves _the Minister_, and not _the Man_; + Alike the advocate of NORTH and Wit, + The friend of SHELBURNE, and the guide of PITT, + His ready tongue with sophistries at will, + Can say, unsay, and be consistent still; + This day can censure, and the next retract, + In speech extol, and stigmatize in act; + Turn and re-turn; whole hours at HASTINGS bawl, + Defend, praise, thank, affront him, and recal. + By opposition, he his King shall court; + And damn the People's cause by his support. + He, like some Angel sent to scourge mankind, + Shall deal forth plagues,--in charity design'd. + The West he would have starv'd; yet, ever good, + But meant to save the effusion of her blood: + And if, from fears of his Controul releast + He looses Rapine now, to spoil the East; + 'Tis but to fire another SYKES to plan + Some new starvation-scheme for Hindostan; + Secure, to make her flourish, as before, + More populous, by losing myriads more. + +Our author here seems to understand the famous starvation-scheme +of Mr. DUNDAS, as literally designed to produce an actual famine +in America, though undoubtedly from the most benevolent motives +imaginable. But this is contradicted by a [2]late writer, who appears +to be perfectly conversant with the language and purposes of our +present men in power. "Starvation (says he) is not synonymous +with famine; for Mr. Dundas most certainly could not intend to produce +a famine in America, which is the granary of the West-Indies, and of +a great part of Europe. The word Starvation (continues he) was +intended by Mr. Dundas to express a scheme of his own, by which he +meant to prevent the Americans from eating when they were hungry, +and had food within their reach; thereby insuring their reduction +without blood-shed." However, both authors agree that Mr. Dundas +proposed to starve the Americans (whatever was to be the mode of +doing it) in mere compassion, to save them from the horrors of +throat-cutting. How finely too does the Poet trace the same charitable +disposition in the late measures of Mr. Dundas and his Colleagues +at the Board of Controul! Factious men have said, that the Indian +politics of the new Commissioners have a direct tendency, beyond any +former system, to encourage every kind of peculation and extortion. +But what kind Mr. Dundas would peculiarly wish to encourage, can admit +of no doubt, from his known partiality to starving--any body, +but himself. And how, indeed, can the prosperity of the East be +better consulted, than by some new starvation-scheme; such as was +contrived and executed by certain humane individuals in the year 1770, +with the most salutary event! For, notwithstanding one-third of +the inhabitants of Bengal were then swept away by the famine, +the province, in consequence, is now become more populous than ever. +This may a little disturb all vulgar notions of cause and effect; +but the writer above-mentioned proves the fact, by the testimony +of Major Scott. + +There are many more lines relating to Mr. Dundas. But as this +gentleman's character is so perfectly understood by the public, +we shall rather select a short catalogue of some among the inferior +Ministerial Heroes, who have hitherto been less frequently described. + + DRAKE, whose cold rhetorick freezes in its course, + BANKS the precise, and fluent WILBERFORCE, + With either PHIPPS, a scribbling, prattling pair; + And VILLERS, comely, with the flaxen hair; + The gentle GRENVILLE's ever-grinning Son, + And the dark brow of solemn HAMILTON. + +These miniatures, as we may call them, present us with very striking +likenesses of the living originals; most of whom are seen to as much +advantage in this small size, as they could possibly have been, +had they been taken at full length. How happy is the allusion to +Mr. DRAKE's[3] well-known speech; which, in the metaphor of our poet, +we may style a beautiful icicle of the most transparent eloquence! +How just too, and yet how concise, is the description of the literary +and parliamentary talents, so equally possessed by Brother CHARLES +and Brother HARRY, as Lord Mulgrave affectionately calls them. +We must, however, observe, that in the Manuscript of the ROLLIAD, +obligingly communicated to us by the Author, the line appears to have +been first written, + + Resplendent PHIPPS who shines our lesser Bear; + +the noble head of this illustrious family having been called +the Great Bear. But this was corrected probably in consequence +of the Poet having discovered, like Mr. Herschel, that the splendor +which he long attributed to a single constellation, or (if we may +depart a little from critical nicety in our figure) to a single star, +in reality flowed from the united rays of two. We have nothing +further to add on this passage, only that the character of VILLERS +seems to be drawn after the Nireus of Homer; who, as the Commentators +remark, is celebrated in the catalogue of warriors, for the handsomest +man in the Grecian army, and is never mentioned again through the +whole twenty-four books of the Iliad. + +[1] Mr. M'Pherson is said to be one of the principal writers on +the side of the present administration. + +[2] Key to Parliamentary Debates, published by Debrett. + +[3] "Behold, Sir, another feature of the procrastinating system. +Not so the Athenian Patriots--Sir, the Romans--Sir, I have lost +the clue of my argument--Sir, I will sit down." + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +A new edition (being the nineteenth) of this universally admired poem +having been recently published, the ingenious author has taken that +opportunity to introduce some new lines on an occasion perfectly +congenial to his muse, and in the highest degree interesting to +the public, namely, the late Fast and Thanksgiving; together with +the famous discourse preached in celebration of that day by that +illustrious orator and divine, the Reverend Mr. SECRETARY +PRETTYMAN.--This episode, which is emphatically termed by himself in +his prefatory address to this last edition, his Episode Parsonic, +seems to have been written perfectly _con amore_, and is considered +by critics as one of the happiest effusions of the distinguished +genius from whose high-rapped fancy it originated. It consists of +nine-and-forty lines, of which, without farther exordium, we shall +submit the following extracts to the inspection, or, more properly +speaking, the admiration of our readers. He sets out with a most +spirited compliment to Dr. PRETTYMAN. The two first lines are +considered by critics, as the most successful example of the +alliterative ornament upon record. + + Prim Preacher, Prince of Priests, and [1]Prince's Priest; + Pembroke's pale pride--in PITT's _praecordia_ plac'd. + --Thy merits all shall future ages scan, + And PRINCE be lost in PARSON PRETTYMAN. + +The beauty of the historical allusion to Prince Prettyman, need not +be pointed out to our readers; and the presage that the fame of this +Royal personage shall be lost and absorbed in the rising reputation +of the ingenious divine, is peculiarly happy and well turned. +The celebrated passage of Virgil, + + "Tu Marcellus eris:" + +is supposed to have been in the poet's recollection at the moment +of his conceiving this passage--not that the + + "Oh miserande puer!" + +in the preceding line, is imagined to have excited any idea of Mr. +Pitt. + +Our author now pursues his hero to the pulpit, and there, in imitation +of Homer, who always takes the opportunity for giving a minute +description of his _personae_, when they are on the very verge of +entering upon an engagement, he gives a laboured but animated detail +of the Doctor's personal manners and deportment. Speaking of the +penetrating countenance for which the Doctor is distinguished, he +says, + + ARGUS could boast an hundred eyes, 'tis true, } + The DOCTOR looks an hundreds ways with two: } + Gimlets they are, and bore you through and through. } + +This is a very elegant and classic compliment, and shows clearly +what a decided advantage our Reverend Hero possesses over the +celebrated {Ophthalmodoulos} of antiquity. Addison is justly famous +in the literary world, for the judgment with which he selects and +applies familiar words to great occasions, as in the instances: + + ------"The great, the important day, + "_Big_ with the fate of Cato and of Rome."-- + + "The sun grows _dim_ with age, &c. &c." + +This is a very great beauty, for it fares with ideas, as with +individuals; we are the more interested in their fate, the better +we are acquainted with them. But how inferior is Addison in this +respect to our author? + + Gimlets they are, &c. + +There is not such a word in all Cato! How well-known and domestic +the image! How specific and forcible the application!--Our author +proceeds: Having described very accurately the style of the Doctor's +hairdressing, and devoted ten beautiful lines to an eulogy upon +the brilliant on the little finger of his right hand, of which +he emphatically says: + + No veal putrescent, no dead whiting's eye, + In the true water with this ring could vie; + +he breaks out into the following most inspirited and vigorous +apostrophe-- + + Oh! had you seen his lily, lily hand, + Stroke his spare cheek, and coax his snow-white band: + That adding force to all his powers of speech, + This the protector of his sacred breech; + That point the way to Heav'n's coelestial grace, + This keep his small-clothes in their proper place-- + Oh! how the comley preacher you had prais'd, + As now the right, and now the left he rais'd!!! + +Who does not perceive, in this description, as if before their eyes, +the thin figure of emaciated divinity, divided between religion +and decorum; anxious to produce some truths, and conceal others; +at once concerned for _fundamental_ points of various kinds; ever at +the _bottom_ of things--Who does not see this, and seeing, who does +not admire? The notes that accompany this excellent episode, contain +admirable instances of our author's profound knowledge in all +the literature of our established religion; and we are sorry that +our plan will not suffer us to produce them, as a full and decisive +proof that his learning is perfectly on a level with his genius, +and his divinity quite equal to his poetry. + +[1] The Doctor is Chaplain to his Majesty.--He was bred at +Pembroke-hall in Cambridge. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +On Monday last, the twentieth edition of this incomparable poem +made its appearance: and we may safely venture to predict, that, +should it be followed by an hundred more, while the fertile and +inexhaustible genius of the author continues to enrich every new +edition with new beauties, they will not fail to run through, +with the same rapidity that the former have done; so universal +is the enthusiasm prevailing among the genuine lovers of poetry, +and all persons of acknowledged taste, with respect to this wonderful +and unparalleled production. + +What chiefly distinguishes this edition, and renders it peculiarly +interesting at the present moment, is the admirable description +contained in it of the newly-appointed India Board; in which the +characters of the members composing it are most happily, though +perhaps somewhat severely, contrasted with those to whom the same +high office had been allotted by a former administration. + +That the feelings of the public are in unison with those of our author +upon this occasion, is sufficiently apparent from the frequent +Panegyrics with which the public papers have of late been filled, +upon the characters of these distinguished personages. In truth, +the superiority of our present excellent administration over their +opponents, can in no instance be more clearly demonstrated, than by a +candid examination of the comparative merits of the persons appointed +by each of them to preside in this arduous and important department. + +Our author opens this comparison by the following elegant compliment +to the accomplished Nobleman whose situation, as Secretary of State, +entitles him to a priority of notice, as the eminence of his abilities +will ever ensure him a due superiority of weight in the deliberations +of the board. + + SYDNEY, whom all the pow'rs of rhetoric grace. + Consistent SYDNEY fills FITZWILLIAM's place; + O, had by nature but proportion'd been + His strength of genius to his length of chin, + His mighty mind in some prodigious plan + At once with ease had reach'd to Indostan! + +The idea conveyed in these lines, of the possibility of a feature +in the human face extending to so prodigious a distance as the +East-Indies, has been objected to as some-what hyperbolical. But those +who are well acquainted with the person as well as the character of +the noble lord alluded to, and who are unquestionably the best judges +of the _extent_ of the compliment, will certainly be of a different +opinion. Neither indeed is the objection founded in truth, but must +have arisen merely from the passage not having been properly +understood. It by no means supposes his Lordship to have literally a +chin of such preposterous dimensions, as must be imagined for the +purpose of reaching to the East-Indies; but figuratively speaking, +only purports, that, if his Lordship's mental, faculties are +co-extensive with that distinguished feature of his face, they may +readily embrace, and be competent to the consideration of the most +distant objects. The meaning of the author is so obvious, that this +cavil probably originated in wilful misapprehension, with a view of +detracting from the merit of one of the most beautiful passages in +the whole poem. + +What reader can refuse his admiration to the following lines, in which +the leading features of the characters are so justly, strongly, and +at the same time so concisely delineated? + + Acute observers, who with skilful ken + Descry the characters of public men, + Rejoice that pow'r and patronage should pass + From _jobbing_ MONTAGUE to _pure_ DUNDAS; + Exchange with pleasure, ELLIOT, LEW'SHAM, NORTH, + For MULGRAVE's tried integrity and worth; + And all must own, that worth completely tried, + By turns experienc'd upon every side. + +How happy is the selection of epithets in these lines! How forcibly +descriptive of the character to which they are applied! In the same +strain he proceeds:-- + + Whate'er experience GREGORY might boast, + Say, is not WALSINGHAM himself a host? + His grateful countrymen, with joyful eyes, + From SACKVILLE's ashes see this Phoenix rise: + Perhaps with all his master's talents blest, + To save the East as he subdu'd the West. + +The historical allusion is here judiciously introduced; and the +pleasing prospect hinted at of the same happy issue attending our +affairs in the Eastern, that has already crowned them in the +Western world, must afford peculiar satisfaction to the feelings +of every British reader. + +The next character is most ingeniously described, but like a +former one, containing some _personal_ allusions, requires, in order +to be fully understood, a more intimate acquaintance with the exterior +qualifications of the gentleman in question, than can have fallen +to the lot of every reader. All who have had the pleasure of +seeing him, however, will immediately acknowledge the resemblance +of the portrait. + + See next advance, in knowing FLETCHER's stead, + A youth, who boasts no common share of head; + What plenteous stores of knowledge may contain + The spacious tenement of GRENVILLE's brain! + Nature, in all her dispensations wise, + Who form'd his head-piece of so vast a size, + Hath not, 'tis true, neglected to bestow + Its due proportion to the part below; + And hence we reason, that, to serve the state, + His top and bottom may have equal weight. + +Every reader will naturally conceive, that in the description of +the principal person of the board, the author has exerted the +whole force of his genius, and he will not find his expectations +disappointed; he has reserved him for the last, and has judiciously +evaded disgracing him by a comparison with any other, upon the +principle, no doubt, quoted from Mr. Theobald, by that excellent +critic, Martinus Scriblerus: + + "None but himself can be his parallel." + DOUBLE FALSEHOOD. + +As he has drawn this character at considerable length, we shall +content ourselves with selecting some few of the most striking +passages, whatever may be the difficulty of selecting where almost +the whole is equally beautiful. The grandeur of the opening prepares +the mind for the sublime sensations suitable to the dignity of a +subject so exalted: + + Above the rest, majestically great, + Behold the infant Atlas of the state, + The matchless miracle of modern days, + In whom Britannia to the world displays + A sight to make surrounding nations stare; + A kingdom trusted to a school-boy's care. + +It is to be observed to the credit of our author, that, although his +political principles are unquestionably favourable to the present +happy government, he does not scruple, with that boldness which +ever characterises real genius, to animadvert with freedom on persons +of the most elevated rank and station; and he has accordingly +interspersed his commendations of our favourite young Minister with +much excellent and reasonable counsel, fore-warning him of the dangers +to which he is by his situation exposed. After having mentioned his +introduction into public life, and concurred in that admirable +panegyric of his immaculate virtues, made in the House of Commons by +a noble Lord already celebrated in the poem, upon which he has the +following observation: + + ------As MULGRAVE, who so fit + To chaunt the praises of ingenious PITT? + The nymph unhackney'd and unknown abroad, + Is thus commended by the hackney'd bawd. + The dupe enraptur'd, views her fancied charms, + And clasps the maiden mischief to his arms, + Till dire disease reveals the truth too late: + O grant my country, Heav'n, a milder fate! + +he attends him to the high and distinguished station he now so ably +fills, and, in a nervous strain of manly eloquence, describes the +defects of character and conduct to which his situation, and the means +by which he came to it, render him peculiarly liable. The spirit of +the following lines is remarkable: + + Oft in one bosom may be found allied, + Excess of meanness, and excess of pride: + Oft may the Statesman, in St. Stephen's brave, + Sink in St. James's to an abject slave; + Erect and proud at Westminster, may fall + Prostrate and pitiful at Leadenhall; + In word a giant, though a dwarf in deed, + Be led by others while he seems to lead. + +He afterwards with great force describes the lamentable state of +humiliation into which he may fall from his present pinnacle of +greatness, by too great a subserviency to those from whom he has +derived it, and appeals to his pride in the following beautiful +exclamation: + + Shall CHATHAM's offspring basely beg support, + Now from the India, now St. James's court; + With pow'r admiring Senates to bewitch, + Now kiss a Monarch's--now a Merchant's breech; + And prove a pupil of St. Omer's school, + Of either KINSON, AT. or JEN. the tool? + +Though cold and cautious criticism may perhaps stare at the boldness +of the concluding line, we will venture to pronounce it the most +masterly stroke of the sublime to be met with in this, or any other +poem. It may be justly said, as Mr. Pope has so happily expressed it-- + + "To snatch a grace beyond the reach of art." + ESSAY ON CRITICISM. + +As we despair of offering any thing equal to this lofty flight of +genius to the reader of true taste, we shall conclude with +recommending to him the immediate perusal of the whole poem, and, in +the name of an admiring public, returning our heart-felt thanks to the +wonderful author of this invaluable work. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +In our two last numbers we were happy to give our readers the earliest +relish of those additional beauties, with which the nineteenth and +twentieth impressions of the ROLLIAD are enriched. And these +interpolations we doubt not have been sufficiently admired for their +intrinsic merit, even in their detached state, as we gave them. But +what superior satisfaction must they have afforded to those who have +read them in their proper places! They are parts of a whole, and as +such wonderfully improve the effect of the general design, by an +agreeable interruption of prosaic regularity. + +This may appear to some but a paradoxical kind of improvement, which +is subversive of order. It must be remembered, however, that the +descent of ROLLO to the night-cellar was undoubtedly suggested by the +descent of AEneas to hell in the Sixth Book of Virgil; and every +classical Critic knows what a noble contempt of order the Roman Poet +studiously displays in the review of his countrymen. From Romulus he +jumps at once to Augustus; gets back how he can to Numa; goes straight +forward to Brutus; takes a short run to Camillus; makes a long stride +to Julius Caesar and Pompey; from Cato retreats again to the Gracchi +and the Scipios; and at last arrives in a beautiful zig-zag at +Marcellus, with whom he concludes. And this must be right, because it +is in Virgil. + +A similar confusion, therefore, has now been judiciously introduced by +our Author in the Sixth Book of the ROLLIAD. He first singles out some +of the great statesmen of the present age; then carries us to church, +to hear Dr. Prettyman preach before the Speaker and the pews; and next +shows us all that Mr. DUNDAS means to let the public know of the new +India Board;--that is to say, the Members of whom it is composed. He +now proceeds, where a dull genius would probably have begun, with an +accurate description of the House of Commons, preparatory to the +exhibition of Mr. ROLLE, and some other of our political heroes, on +that theatre of their glory. Maps of the country round Troy have been +drawn from the Iliad; and we doubt not, that a plan of St. Stephen's +might now be delineated with the utmost accuracy from the ROLLIAD. + +Merlin first ushers Duke ROLLO into the LOBBY: marks the situation of +the two entrances; one in the front, the other communicating laterally +with the Court of Requests; and points out the topography of the +fire-place and the box, + + ------ ------ ------in which + Sits PEARSON, like a pagod in his niche; + The Gomgom PEARSON, whose sonorous lungs + With "Silence! Room there!" drown an hundred tongues. + +This passage is in the very spirit of prophecy, which delights to +represent things in the most lively manner. We not only see, but hear +Pearson in the execution of his office. The language, too, is truly +prophetic; unintelligible, perhaps, to those to whom it is addressed, +but perfectly clear, full, and forcible to those who live in the time +of the accomplishment. Duke ROLLO might reasonably be supposed to +stare at the barbarous words "_Pagod_" and "_Gomgom_;" but we, who +know one to signify an Indian Idol, and the other an Indian Instrument +of music, perceive at once the peculiar propriety with which such +images are applied to an officer of a House of Commons so completely +Indian as the present. A writer of less judgment would have contented +himself with comparing Pearson simply to a + + Statue in his niche-- + +and with calling him a Stentor, perhaps in the next line: but such +unappropriated similies and metaphors could not satisfy the nice taste +of our author. + +The description of the Lobby also furnishes an opportunity of +interspersing a passage of the tender kind, in praise of the Pomona +who attends there with oranges. Our poet calls her HUCSTERIA, and, by +a dexterous stroke of art, compares her to Shiptonia, whose amours +with ROLLO form the third and fourth books of the ROLLIAD. + + Behold the lovely wanton, kind and fair, + As bright SHIPTONIA, late thy amorous care! + Mark how her winning smiles, and 'witching eyes, + On yonder unfledg'd orator she tries! + Mark, with what grace she offers to his hand + The tempting orange, pride of China's land! + +This gives rise to a panegyric on the medical virtues of oranges, and +an oblique censure on the indecent practice of our young Senators, who +come down drunk from the eating-room, to sleep in the gallery. + + O! take, wise youth, the' Hesperian fruit, of use + Thy lungs to cherish with balsamic juice. + With this thy parch'd roof moisten; nor consume + Thy hours and guineas in the eating-room, + Till, full of claret, down with wild uproar + You reel, and, stretch'd along the gallery, snore. + +From this the poet naturally slides into a general caution against the +vice of drunkenness, which he more particularly enforces, by the +instance of Mr. PITT's late peril, from the farmer at Wandsworth. + + Ah! think, what danger on debauch attends: + Let Pitt, once drunk, preach temp'rance to his friends; + How, as he wander'd darkling o'er the plain, + His reason drown'd in JENKINSON's champaigne, + A rustic's hand, but righteous fate withstood, + Had shed a Premier's for a robber's blood. + +We have been thus minute in tracing the transitions in this inimitable +passage, as they display, in a superior degree, the wonderful skill of +our poet, who could thus bring together an orange-girl, and the +present pure and immaculate Minister; a connection, which, it is more +than probable, few of our readers would in any wise have suspected. + + --------------Ex fumo dare lucem + Cogitat, ut speciosa dehinc miracula promat. + +From the Lobby we are next led into the several committee-rooms and +other offices adjoining; and among the rest, MERLIN, like a noble +Lord, whose diary was some time since printed, "takes occasion to +inspect the water-closets," + + Where offerings, worthy of those altars, lie, + Speech, letter, narrative, remark, reply; + With dead-born taxes, innocent of ill, + With cancell'd clauses of the India bill: + There pious NORTHCOTE's meek rebukes, and here + The labour'd nothings of the SCRUTINEER; + And reams on reams of tracts, that, without pain, + Incessant spring from SCOTT's prolific brain. + Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own? + Turn then, my son, &c. &c. + +This passage will probably surprise many of our readers, who must have +discovered our author to be, as every good and wise man must be, +firmly attached to the present system. It was natural for Dante to +send his enemies to hell; but it seems strange that our poet should +place the writings of his own friends and fellow-labourers in a +water-closet. It has indeed been hinted to us, that it might arise from +envy, to find some of them better rewarded for their exertions in the +cause, than himself. But though great minds have sometimes been +subject to this passion, we cannot suppose it to have influenced the +author of the ROLLIAD in the present instance. For in that case we +doubt not he would have shown more tenderness to his fellow-sufferer, +the unfortunate Mr. NORTHCOTE, who, after sacrificing his time, +degrading his profession, and hazarding his ears twice or thrice every +week, for these two or three years past, has at length confessed his +patriotism weary of employing his talents for the good of his country, +without receiving the reward of his labours. To confess the truth, we +ourselves think the apparent singularity of the poet's conduct on this +occasion, may be readily ascribed to that independence of superior +genius, which we noticed in our last number. We there remarked, with +what becoming freedom he spoke to the Minister himself; and in the +passage now before us, we may find traces of the same spirit, in the +allusions to the coal-tax, gauze-tax, and ribbon-tax, as well as the +unexampled alterations and corrections of the celebrated India-bill. +Why then should it appear extraordinary, that he should take the same +liberty with two or three brother-authors, which he had before taken +with their master; and without scruple intimate, what he and every one +else must think of their productions, notwithstanding he may possess +all possible charity for the good intention of their endeavours? + +We cannot dismiss these criticisms, without observing on the +concluding lines; how happily our author, here again, as before, by +the mention of Shiptonia, contrives to recal our attention to the +personages more immediately before us, MERLIN and DUKE ROLLO! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +We come now to the _Sanctum Sanctorum_, the Holy of Holies, where the +glory of political integrity shines visibly, since the shrine has been +purified from Lord J. CAVENDISH, Mr. FOLJAMBE, Sir C. BUNBURY, Mr. +COKE, Mr. BAKER, Major HARTLEY, and the rest of its pollutions. To +drop our metaphor, after making a minute survey of the Lobby, peeping +into the Eating-room, and inspecting the Water-closets, we are at +length admitted into the House itself. The transition here is +peculiarly grand and solemn. MERLIN, having corrected himself for +wasting so much time on insignificant objects, + + (Yet wherefore to this age should names be known, + But heard, and then forgotten in their own?) + +immediately directs the attention of Rollo to the doors of the house, +which are represented in the vision, as opening at that moment to +gratify the hero's curiosity; then the prophet suddenly cries out, in +the language of ancient Religion, + + ------Procul, o procul este profani! + + Turn then, my son, where to thy hallow'd eye + Yon doors unfold--Let none profane he nigh! + +It seems as if the poet, in the preceding descriptions, had purposely +stooped to amuse himself with the Gomgom Pearson, Hucsteria, Major +Scott, Mr. Northcote, and the Reverend author of the Scrutineer, that +he might rise again with the more striking dignity on this great +occasion. + +MERLIN now leads ROLLO to the centre of the House, + + Conventus trahit in medios, turbamque sonantem. + +He points out to him the gallery for strangers to sit in, and members +to sleep in; the bar below, and the clock above. Of the clock he +observes, + + When this shalt point, the hour of question come, + Mutes shall find voice, and Orators be dumb. + This, if in lengthen'd parle the night they pass, + Shall furnish still his opening to DUNDAS; + To PITT, when "hear-hims" flag, shall oft supply + The chear-trap trick of stale apology; + And, strange to tell! in Nature's spite, provoke + Hot ARDEN once to blunder at a joke. + +The beauty of these lines will be instantly perceived by all who have +witnessed the debates; as they cannot but have remarked, how +perpetually "_the late hour of night_" occupies the exordiums of Mr. +DUNDAS, after eleven o'clock; and how frequently it is introduced by +Mr. PITT as a hint, for what is called _chearing_, whenever his +arguments and invectives are received by his young friends with the +unparliamentary compliment of sacred silence. The miracle of a jest +from Mr. ARDEN, happened on the occasion of some Resolutions having +passed between the hours of _six_ and _seven_ in the morning; for +which reason the Attorney-General facetiously contended, that they +were entitled to no respect, "as the house was then at _sixes_ and +_sevens_." Any approximation to wit in debate, being perfectly unusual +with this gentleman, however entertaining his friends may think him in +private, our author very properly distinguishes this memorable attempt +by the same kind of admiration, with which poets commonly mention some +great prodigy--as for instance, of a cow's speaking: + + ----pecudesque locutae + Infandum! + +We hope none of our readers will attribute to us the most distant +intention of any invidious comparison. + +The table, mace, &c. are next described, but these we shall pass over +in silence, that we may get--where most who enter the House of Commons +wish to get--to the TREASURY-BENCH, + + Where sit the gowned clerks, by ancient rule, + This on a chair, and that upon a stool; + Where stands the well-pil'd table, cloth'd in green; + There on the left the TREASURY-BENCH is seen. + No sattin covering decks the' unsightly boards; + No velvet cushion holds the youthful lords: + And claim illustrious Tails such small regard? + Ah! Tails too tender for a seat so hard. + +This passage touches on a subject of much offence to the young friends +of the minister; we mean the barbarous and Gothic appearance of the +benches in the House of Commons. The Treasury-bench itself looks no +better than a first form in one of our public schools: + + No sattin covering decks the' unsightly boards, + No velvet cushion holds the youthful Lords. + +The above couplet states with much elegance the matter of complaint, +and glances with equal dexterity at the proper remedy. The composition +is then judiciously varied. The whole art of the poet is employed to +interest our passions in favour of the necessary reform, by +expostulatory interrogations and interjections the most affectingly +pathetic. And who can read the former, without feeling his sense of +national honour most deeply injured by the supposed indignity; or who +can read the latter, without melting into the most unfeigned +commiseration for the actual sufferings to which the youthful lords +are at present exposed? It must, doubtless, be a seasonable relief to +the minds of our readers, to be informed, that Mr. PITT (as it has +been said in some of the daily papers) means to propose, for one +article of his Parliamentary Reform, to cover the seats in general +with crimson sattin, and to decorate the Treasury-bench, in +particular, with cushions of crimson velvet; one of [1] extraordinary +dimensions being to be appropriated to Mr. W. GRENVILLE. + +The epithet "_tender_" in the last line we were at first disposed to +consider as merely synonymous with "_youthful_." But a friend, to whom +we repeated the passage, suspected that the word might bear some more +emphatical sense; and this conjecture indeed seems to be established +beyond doubt, by the original reading in the manuscript, which, as we +before said, has been communicated to us, + + "Alas! that flesh, so late by pedants scarr'd, + Sore from the rod, should suffer seats so hard," + +We give these verses, not as admitting any comparison with the text, +as it now stands, but merely by way of commentary, to illustrate the +poet's meaning. + +From the Treasury-bench, we ascend one step to the INDIA-BENCH. + + "There too, in place advanc'd, as in command, + Above the beardless rulers of the land, + On a bare bench, alas! exalted sit, + The pillars of Prerogative and PITT; + Delights of Asia, ornaments of men, + Thy Sovereign's Sovereigns, happy Hindostan." + +The movement of these lines is, as the subject required, more elevated +than that of the preceding: yet the prevailing sentiment excited by +the description of the Treasury-bench, is artfully touched by our +author, as he passes, in the Hemistich, + + On a bare bench, alas!------ + +which is a beautiful imitation of Virgil's + + ------Ah! filice in nuda------ + +The pompous titles so liberally bestowed on the BENGAL SQUAD, as the +_pennyless hirelings_ of opposition affect to call them, are truly in +the Oriental taste; and we doubt not, but every friend to the present +happy government, will readily agree in the justice of stiling them +"pillars of prerogative and Pitt, delights of Asia, and ornaments of +man." Neither, we are assured, can any man of any party object to the +last of their high dignities, "Sovereigns of the Sovereign of India;" +since the Company's well-known sale of Shah Allum to his own Visier, +is an indisputable proof of their supremacy over the Great Mogul. + +As our author has been formerly accused of plagiarism, we must here in +candour confess, that he seems, in his description of the India-bench, +to have had an eye to Milton's account of the devil's throne; which, +however, we are told, much exceeded the possible splendour of any +India-bench, or even the magnificence of Mr. Hastings himself. + + High on a throne of royal slate, which far + Outshone the wealth of Orams, or of Ind; + Or where the gorgeous East, with lavish hand, + Show'rs on her King, barbaric pearl and gold; + Satan _exalted sate_.------ + +This concluding phrase, our readers will observe, is exactly and +literally copied by our author. It is also worthy of remark, that as +he calls the Bengal squad, + + The _Pillars_ of Prerogative and Pitt, + +So Milton calls Beelzebub, + + A _Pillar_ of State:------ + +Though, it is certain, that the expression here quoted may equally +have been suggested by one of the Persian titles[2], said to be +engraved on a seal of Mr. Hastings, where we find the Governor General +styled, "_Pillar_ of the Empire." But we shall leave it to our readers +to determine, as they may think proper, on the most probable source of +the metaphor, whether it were in reality derived from Beelzebub or +Mr. Hastings. + +[1] For a description of this young gentleman's person, from _top to +bottom_, see No. V. + +[2] The following is copied from the Morning Chronicle of October 5, +1784. + + Mr. HASTINGS'S PERSIAN TITLES, _as engraved upon a Seal._ + _A True Translation._ + Nabob Governor-General Hastings, _Saub_, + Pillar of the Empire, + The fortunate in War, Hero, + The most princely offspring of the Loins, + Of the King of the Universe, + The Defender of the Mahomedan Faith, + And Asylum of the World, &c. &c. &c. &c. + + _Translation of a Persian Inscription engraven on a large fine Ruby, + being the titles either given to or assumed by Mrs._ HASTINGS. + "Royal and Imperial Governess, + The elegance of the age, + The most exalted Bilkiss, + The Zobaide of the Palaces, + The most heroic Princess, + Ruby Marian Hastings, Sauby, &c. &c. + +N.B. With the Mussulmans, _Bilkiss_ signifies the person, called in +the Bible History the Queen of Sheba; and _Zobaide_ was a favourite +wife of Mahomed; and when they wish to pay the highest compliments to +a lady, they compare her to Bilkiss and Zobaide, who possessed the +most exalted beauty, and perfection of every kind. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +From the above general compliment to the India-bench, the poet, in the +person of Merlin, breaks out into the following animated apostrophe +to some of the principal among our Leadenhall-street Governors: + + All hail! ye virtuous patriots without blot, Rollo + The minor KINSON and the major SCOTT: + And thou of name uncouth to British ear, + From Norman smugglers sprung, LE MESURIER; + Hail SMITHS; and WRAXALL, unabash'd to talk, + Tho' none will listen; hail too, CALL and PALK; + Thou, BARWEL, just and good, whose honour'd name, + Wide, as the Ganges rolls, shall live in fame, + Second to HASTINGS: and, VANSITTART, thou, + A second HASTINGS, if the Fates allow. + +The bold, but truly poetical apocope, by which the Messrs. At-kinson +and Jen-kinson, are called the two kinsons, is already familiar to the +public. The minor Kinson, or Kinson the less, is obviously Mr. +Atkinson; Mr. Jenkinson being confessedly greater than Mr. Atkinson, +or any other man, except One, in the kingdom.--The antithesis of the +Major Scott to the minor Kinson, seems to ascertain the sense of the +word Major, as signifying in this place the greater; it might mean +also the elder; or it might equally refer to the military rank of the +gentleman intended. This is a beautiful example of the figure so much +admired by the ancients under the name of the Paronomasia, or Pun. +They who recollect the light in which our author before represented +Major Scott, as a pamphleteer, fit only to furnish a water-closet, may +possibly wonder to find him here mentioned as THE GREATER SCOTT; but +whatever may be his literary talents, he must be acknowledged to be +truly great, and worthy of the conspicuous place here assigned him, if +we consider him in his capacity of agent to Mr. Hastings, and of +consequence chief manager of the Bengal Squad; and it must be +remembered, that this is the character in which he is here introduced. +The circumstance of Mr. Le Mesurier's origin from Norman Smugglers, +has been erroneously supposed by some critics to be designed for a +reproach; but they could not possibly have fallen into this mistaste, +if they had for a moment reflected that it is addressed by MERLIN to +ROLLO, who was himself no more than a Norman pirate. Smuggling and +piracy in heroic times were not only esteemed not infamous, but +absolutely honourable. The Smiths, Call and Palk of our poet, resemble +the + + Alcandrumque, Haliumque, Noemonaque, Prytanimque, + +of Homer and Virgil; who introduce those gallant warriors for the sake +of a smooth verse, and dispatch them at a stroke without the +distinction of a single epithet. Our poet too has more professedly +imitated Virgil in the lines respecting Mr. Vansittart, now a +candidate to succeed Mr. Hastings. + + ------And, VANSITTART, thou + A second HASTINGS, if the fates allow. + ------Si qua fata aspera rumpas, + Tu Marcellus eris! + +The passage however is, as might be hoped from the genius of our +author, obviously improved in the imitation; as it involves a climax, +most happily expressed. Mr. Barwell has been panegyrized in the lines +immediately foregoing, as _second to Hastings_; but of Mr. Vansittart +it is prophesied, that he will be a _second Hastings_; second indeed +in time, but equal perhaps in the distinguishing merits of that great +and good man, in obedience to the Court of Directors, attention to the +interests of the Company in preference to his own, abstinence from +rapacity and extortion, justice and policy towards the princes, and +humanity to all the natives, of Hindostan. The ingenious turn on the +words _second to Hastings_, and a _second Hastings_, would have +furnished matter for whole pages to the Dionysius's, Longinus's, and +Quintilians of antiquity, though the affected delicacy of modern taste +may condemn it as quibble and jingle. + +The poet then hints at a most ingenious proposal for the embellishment +of the India-bench, according to the new plan of Parliamentary Reform; +not by fitting it up like the Treasury-bench, with velvet cushions, +but by erecting for the accommodation of the Leadenhall worthies, the +ivory bed, which was lately presented to her Majesty by Mrs. Hastings. + + O that for you, in Oriental state, + At ease reclin'd to watch the long debate, + Beneath the gallery's pillar'd height were spread + (With the QUEEN's leave) your WARREN's ivory bed! + +The pannels of the gallery too, over the canopy of the bed, are to be +ornamented with suitable paintings, + + Above, In colours warm with mimic life, + The German husband of your WARREN's wife + His rival deeds should blazon; and display. + In his blest rule, the glories of your sway. + +What singular propriety, what striking beauty must the reader of taste +immediately perceive in this choice of a painter to execute the +author's design! It cannot be doubted but Mrs. Hastings would exert +all her own private and all Major Scott's public influence with +_every_ branch of the Legislature, to obtain so illustrious a job for +the man to whose affection, or to whose want of affection, she owes +her present fortunes. The name of this artist is Imhoff; but though he +was once honoured with Royal Patronages he is now best remembered from +the circumstance by which our author has distinguished him, of his +former relation to Mrs. Hastings. + +Then follow the subjects of the paintings, which are selected with +the usual judgment of our poet. + + Here might the tribes of ROHILCUND expire, + And quench with blood their towns, that sink in fire; + The Begums there, of pow'r, of wealth forlorn, + With female cries their hapless fortune mourn. + Here, hardly rescu'd from his guard, CHEYT SING + Aghast should fly; there NUNDCOMAR should swing; + Happy for him! if he had borne to see + His country beggar'd of the last rupee; + Nor call'd those laws, O HASTINGS, on thy head, + Which, mock'd by thee, thy slaves alone should dread. + +These stories, we presume, are too public to require any explanation. +But if our readers should wish to be more particularly acquainted with +them, they will find them in the [1]Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, +commonly called the Reports of the Select and Secret Committees, with +Appendixes of Letters, Minutes, and Narratives written by Mr. Hastings +himself. Or they may consult the History of Alexander the Great, +contained, in Major John Scott's narrative of the administration of +Mr. Hastings. Though we would rather refer them to the latter work, as +in our opinion it is one of the most satisfactory defences ever +published; and proves to demonstration, that Mr. Hastings never +committed a single act of injustice or cruelty, but he constantly +obtained forty or fifty lacks for the Company or himself--That an +enquiry into past abuses is an impolitic order; because "much valuable +time must be lost, and much odium incurred by the attempt;" and +therefore Mr. Hastings of course ought not to have been censured at +all, unless he had been censured _before_ he had done any thing to +deserve it--That it was right for Mr. Hastings to keep up the good old +custom of receiving presents, in defiance of a positive law; because +his predecessors had received as large sums when they were authorized +by custom, and not prohibited by any law--That Mr. Hastings was +justified in disobeying the orders of the Directors, because he could +no otherwise have convinced the Country Powers of his superiority over +his Masters, which was, and is, absolutely necessary--that, though it +may be questioned if Nundcomar was legally condemned, it was proper to +execute him, in order to show the justice and impartiality of the +Judges in hanging the natives, whom they were sent especially to +protect--That a Treaty of Peace between two nations is of no force, if +you can get one of the individuals who officially signed it, to +consent to the infraction of it--together with many other positions, +equally just and novel, both in Ethics and Politics. + +But to return to our Poet. MERLIN now drops his apostrophe, and +eulogizes the India-bench in the third person for the blessings of Tea +and the Commutation Tax. The following passage will show our author to +be, probably, a much better Grocer than Mr. Pitt; and perhaps little +inferior to the Tea-Purchaser's Guide. + + What tongue can tell the various kind of Tea? + Of Blacks and Greens, of Hyson and Bohea; + With Singlo, Congou, Pekoe, and Souchong: + Couslip the fragrant, Gun-powder the strong; + And more, all heathenish alike in name, + Of humbler some, and some of nobler fame. + +The prophet then compares the breakfasts of his own times with those +of ours: attributes to the former the intractable spirit of that age; +and from the latter fervently prays, like a loyal subject, for the +perfect accomplishment of their natural effects; that they may relax +the nerves of Englishmen into a proper state of submission to the +superior powers. We shall insert the lines at length. + + On mighty beef, bedew'd with potent ale, + Our Saxons, rous'd at early dawn, regale; + And hence a sturdy, bold, rebellious race, + Strength in the frame, and spirit in the face, + All sacred right of Sovereign Power defy, + For Freedom conquer, or for Freedom die. + Not so their sons, of manners more polite; + How would they sicken at the very sight! + O'er Chocolate's rich froth, o'er Coffee's fume, + Or Tea's hot tide their noons shall they consume. + But chief, all sexes, every rank and age, + Scandal and Tea, more grateful, shall engage; + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish'd tables, or the casual stone. + Be _Bloom_ reduc'd; and PITT no more a foe, + Ev'n PITT, the favourite of the fair shall grow: + Be but _Mundungus_ cheap; on light and air + New burthens gladly shall our peasants bear, + And boil their peaceful kettles, gentle souls! + Contented,--if no tax be laid on coals. + Aid then, kind Providence, yon' generous bench, + With copious draughts the thirsty realm to drench; + And oh! thy equal aid let PRESTON find, + With [2]_musty-sweet_ and _mouldy-fresh_ combin'd, + To palsy half our isles: 'till wan, and weak, + Each nerve unstrung, and bloodless every cheek, + Head answering head, and noddling thro' the street. + The destin'd change of Britons is complete; + Things without will, like India's feeble brood, + Or China's shaking Mandarins of wood. + So may the Crown in native lustre shine, + And British Kings re-sume their right divine. + +We have been thus prolix in giving the whole of this quotation, as we +think it glances very finely at the true policy, why it is expedient +to encourage the universal consumption of an article, which some +factious people have called a pernicious luxury. And our readers, we +are persuaded, will agree with us, when we decidedly pronounce this as +good a defence of the Commutation Tax, as we have yet seen. + +We must observe however that our author is probably indebted to the +extensive information of Lord Sydney, for the hint of the following +couplet: + + In gilded roofs, beside some hedge in none, + On polish'd tables, or the casual stone. + +The Secretary of State in the discussion of the abovementioned tax, +very ably calculated the great quantity of tea consumed under hedges +by vagrants, who have no houses; from which he most ingeniously argued +to the justice and equity of laying the impost on persons who +have houses, whether they consume it or not. + +We shall conclude this number, as the Poet concludes the subject, +with some animated verses on Mr. FOX and Mr. PITT. + + Crown the froth'd Porter, slay the fatted Ox, + And give the British meal to British Fox. + But for an Indian minister more fit, + Ten cups of purest Padrae pour for PITT, + Pure as himself; add sugar too and cream, + Sweet as his temper, bland as flows the stream + Of his smooth eloquence; then crisply nice + The muffin toast, or bread and butter slice, + Thin as his arguments, that mock the mind, + Gone, ere you taste,--no relish left behind. + Where beauteous Brighton overlooks the sea, + These be his joys: and STEELE shall make the Tea. + +How neat! how delicate! and how unexpected is the allusion in the +last couplet! These two lines alone include the substance of +whole columns, in the ministerial papers of last summer, on the sober, +the chaste, the virtuous, the edifying manner in which the +Immaculate Young Man passed the recess from public business; +not in riot and debauchery, not in gaming, not in attendance on +ladies, either modest or immodest, but in drinking Tea with Mr. +Steele, at the Castle in Brighthelmstone. Let future ages read and +admire! + +[1] We have the highest law authority for this title; as well as for +calling Mr. Hastings Alexander the Great. + +[2] The Tea-dealers assure us, that Mr. PRESTON's _sweet_ and _fresh_ +Teas contain a great part of the _musty_ and _mouldy_ chests, which +the Trade rejected. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IX._ + +In every new edition of this incomparable poem, it has been the +invariable practice of the author, to take an opportunity of adverting +to such recent circumstances, as have occurred since the original +publication of it relative to any of the illustrious characters he has +celebrated. The public has lately been assured that, the Marquis of +Graham is elected Chancellor of the University of Glasgow, and has +presented that learned body with a complete set of the engravings of +Piranesi, an eminent Italian artist; of which we are happy to acquaint +the Dilettanti, a few remaining sets are to be purchased at +Mr. Alderman Boydell's printshop, in Cheapside, price twelve pounds +twelve shillings each. An anecdote reflecting so much honour upon one +of the favourite characters of our author, could not pass unnoticed in +the ROLLIAD; and accordingly, in his last edition, we find the +following complimentary lines upon the subject: + + If right the Bard, whose numbers sweetly flow, + That all our knowledge is ourselves to know; + A sage like GRAHAM, can the world produce, + Who in full senate call'd himself a goose? + The admiring Commons, from the high-born youth, + With wonder heard this undisputed truth; + Exulting Glasgow claim'd him for her own, + And plac'd the prodigy on Learning's throne. + +He then alludes to the magnificent present abovementioned, and +concludes in that happy vein of alliterative excellence, for which he +is so justly admired-- + + With gorgeous gifts from gen'rous GRAHAM grac'd, + Great Glasgow grows the granary of taste. + +Our readers will doubtless recollect, that this is not the first +tribute of applause paid to the distinguished merit of the +public-spirited young Nobleman in question. In the first edition of the +poem, his character was drawn at length, the many services he has +rendered his country were enumerated, and we have lately been assured by +our worthy friend and correspondent, Mr. Malcolm M'Gregor, the ingenious +author of the Heroic Epistle to Sir William Chambers, and other +valuable poems, that the following spirited verses, recording the +ever-memorable circumstance of his Lordship's having procured for the +inhabitants of the Northern extremity of our Island, the inestimable +privilege of exempting their posteriors from those ignominious symbols +of slavery, vulgarly denominated breeches, are actually universally +repeated with enthusiasm, throughout every part of the highlands +of Scotland-- + + Thee, GRAHAM! thee, the frozen Chieftains bless, + Who feel thy bounties through their fav'rite dress; + By thee they view their rescued country clad + In the bleak honours of their long-lost plaid; + Thy patriot zeal has bar'd their parts behind + To the keen whistlings of the wintry wind; + While Lairds the dirk, while lasses bag-pipes prize, + And oat-meal cake the want of bread supplies; + The scurvy skin, while scaly scabs enrich, + While contact gives, and brimstone cures the itch, + Each breeze that blows upon those brawny parts, + Shall wake thy lov'd remembrance in their hearts; + And while they freshen from the Northern blast, + So long thy honour, name, and praise shall last. + +We need not call to the recollection of the classical reader, + + Dum juga montis aper, sluvios dum piscis amabit, + Semper honos, nomenque tuum laudesque manebunt. + +And the reader of taste will not hesitate to pronounce, that the copy +has much improved upon, and very far surpassed the original. In these +lines we also find the most striking instances of the beauties of +alliteration; and however some fastidious critics have affected to +undervalue this excellence, it is no small triumph to those of a +contrary sentiment to find, that next to our own incomparable author, +the most exalted genius of the present age, has not disdained to +borrow the assistance of this ornament, in many passages of the +beautiful dramatic treasure with which he has recently enriched the +stage. Is it necessary for us to add, that it is the new tragedy of +the Carmelite to which we allude?--A tragedy the beauties of which, we +will venture confidently to assert, will be admired and felt, when +those of Shakespeare, Dryden, Otway, Southerne, and Rowe, shall be no +longer held in estimation. As examples of alliterative beauty, we +shall select the following:-- + + The hand of heav'n hangs o'er me and my house, + To their untimely graves seven sons swept off. + +Again-- + + So much for tears--tho' twenty years they flow, + They wear no channels in a widow's cheek. + +The alternate alliteration of the second line, in this instance, +seems an improvement upon the art, to the whole merit of which +Mr. Cumberland is himself unquestionably entitled. + +Afterwards we read, + + ------Treasures hoarded up, + With carking care, and a long life of thrift. + +In addition to the alliterative merit, we cannot here fail to admire +the judiciously selected epithet of "_carking_;" and the two lines +immediately following, although no example of that merit, should not +be omitted: + + Now, without interest, or redemption swallow'd, + By the devouring bankrupt waves for ever. + +How striking is the comparison of the ocean, to a bankrupt swallowing +without interest or redemption, the property of his unfortunate +creditors! Where shall we find a simile of equal beauty, unless some +may possibly judge the following to be so, which is to be found in +another part of the same sublime work, of two persons weeping-- + + ------We will sit + Like fountain statues, face to face oppos'd, + And each to other tell our griefs in tears, + Yet neither utter word------ + +Our readers, we trust, will pardon our having been diverted from the +task we have undertaken, by the satisfaction of dwelling on a few of +the many beauties of this justly popular and universally admired +tragedy, which, in our humble opinion, infinitely surpasses every +other theatrical composition, being in truth an assemblage of every +possible dramatic excellence: nor do we believe, that any production, +whether of antient or modern date, can exhibit a more uncommon and +peculiar selection of language, a greater variety of surprising +incidents, a more rapid succession of extraordinary discoveries, a +more curious collection of descriptions, similies, metaphors, images, +storms, shipwrecks, challenges, and visions, or a more miscellaneous +and striking picture of the contending passions of love; hatred, +piety, madness, rage, jealousy, remorse, and hunger, than this +unparalleled performance presents to the admiration of the enraptured +spectator. Mr. Cumberland has been represented, perhaps unjustly, as +particularly jealous of the fame of his cotemporaries, but we are +persuaded he will not be offended when, in the ranks of modern +writers, we place him second only to the inimitable author of the +ROLLIAD. + +To return from the digression into which a subject so seducing has +involuntarily betrayed us. The reader will recollect, that in our last +we left MERLIN gratifying the curiosity of ROLLO, with a view of that +Assembly of which his Descendant is one day destined to become so +conspicuous an ornament. After having given the due preference to the +India-Bench, he proceeds to point out to him others of the most +distinguished supporters of the present virtuous administration. +Having already mentioned the most confidential friends of the +minister, he now introduces us to the acquaintance of an active young +Member, who has upon all occasions been pointedly severe upon the +noble Lord in the blue ribbon, and who is remarkable for never having +delivered his sentiments upon any subject, whether relating to the +East-Indies, the Reform of Parliament, or the Westminster Election, +without a copious dissertation upon the principles, causes, and +conduct of the American war. + + Lo! BEAYFOY rises, friend to soft repose; + Whose gentle accents prompt the house to dose: + His cadence just, a general sleep provokes, + Almost as quickly as SIR RICHARD's jokes. + Thy slumbers, NORTH, he strives in vain to break, + When all are sleeping, thou would'st scarce awake; + Though from his lips severe invectives fell, + Sharp as the acid he delights to sell. + +In explanation of the last line, it may be, perhaps, necessary to +apprise our readers, that this accomplished orator, although the +elegance of his diction, and smoothness of his manner, partake rather +of the properties of oil, is in his commercial capacity, a dealer in +vinegar. The speaker alluded to, under the name of Sir Richard, is +probably the same whom our author, upon the former occasion, stiled-- + + Sleep-giving poet of a sleepless night. + +The limits of our plan will not allow us to enlarge upon the various +beauties with which this part of the work abounds; we cannot, however, +omit the pathetic description of the SPEAKER's situation, nor the +admirable comparison of Lord MAHON preying on his patience, to the +vulture devouring the liver of Prometheus. The necessity of the +Speaker's continuing in the chair while the House sits, naturally +reminds our author of his favourite Virgil: + + ------sedet aeternumque sedebit + Infelix Theseus. + + There CORNEWELL sits, and, oh unhappy fate! + Must sit for ever through the long debate; + Save, when compell'd by Nature's sovereign will, + Sometimes to empty, and sometimes to fill. + Painful pre-eminence! he hears, 'tis true, + FOX, NORTH, and BURKE, but hears SIR JOSEPH too. + +Then follows the simile-- + + Like sad PROMETHEUS, fasten'd to his rock, + In vain he looks for pity to the clock; + In vain the' effects of strengthening porter tries, + And nods to BELLAMY for fresh supplies; + While vulture-like, the dire MAHON appears, + And, far more savage, rends his suff'ring ears. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER X._ + +Amongst the various pretensions to critical approbation, which are to +be found in the excellent and never-sufficiently to be admired +production, which is the object of these comments, there is one that +will strike the classical observer as peculiarly prominent and +praise-worthy:--namely, the uncommon ability shown by the author, in the +selection of his heroes. The _personae_ that are introduced in the +course of this poem, are characters that speak for themselves. The +very mention of their names is a summons to approbation; and the +relation of their history, if given in detail, would prove nothing +more than a lengthened panegyric. Who that has heard of the names of a +Jenkinson, a Robinson, or a Dundas, has not in the same breath heard +also what they are? This is the secret of our author's science and +excellence. It is this that enables him to omit the dull detail of +introductory explanation, and to fasten upon his business, if one may +use the expression, slap-dash and at once. + + Semper ad eventum festinat, et in medias res, + Non secus ac notas auditorum rapit. HOR. + +Homer himself yields, in this respect, to our author; for who would +not perceive the evident injustice done to the modern bard, if we were +to place the wisdom of an Ulysses on any competition with the +experience of a Pitt; to mention the bully Ajax, as half so genuine a +bully, as the bully Thurlow; if we were to look upon Nestor as having +a quarter of the interesting circumlocution of the ambiguous Nugent; +to consider Achilles as possessed of half the anger of a ROLLE; or to +suppose for a moment, that the famous {podas-okus} of antiquity, could +run nearly so fast in a rage, as the member for Devon in a fright; to +conceive the yellow-haired Paris to have had half the beauty of the +ten times more yellow-haired Villiers; to look upon Agamemnon as in +any degree so dictatorial to his chiefs as the high-minded Richmond; +to consider the friendship of Patroclus, as possessed of a millionth +portion of the disinterested attachment of a Dundas; to have any +conception that the chosen band of Thessalian Myrmidons, were to be +any way compared, in point of implicit submission, to the still more +dextrously chosen band of the Minister in the British House of +Commons. Or--but there is no end to so invidious a comparison; and we +will not expose poor Homer, to the farther mortification of pursuing +it. + +MERLIN proceeds in his relation, and fixes upon an object that will +not, we believe, prove any disgrace to our author's general judgment +of selection; namely, that worthy Baronet and universally admired wit, +Sir RICHARD HILL, of whom it may be truly said, + + ------Pariter pietate jocisque, + Egregius. + +He looks upon him as an individual meriting every distinction, and has +thought proper therefore, in the last edition of the ROLLIAD, though +the Baronet had been [1]slightly touched upon before, to enlarge what +was then said, into a more particular description. Speaking of Sir +Richard's style of elocution, our author observes-- + + With quaint formality of sacred smut, + His rev'rend jokes see pious RICHARD cut. + Let meaner talents from the Bible draw + Their faith, their morals These, and Those their law! + His lively genius finds in holy writ + A richer mine of unsuspected wit. + What never Jew, what never Christian taught, + What never fir'd one sectary's heated thought, + What not e'en [2]ROWLAND dream'd, he saw alone, + And to the wondering senate first made known; + How bright o'er mortal jokes the Scriptures shine + Resplendent Jest-book of bon-mots divine. + +This description will be readily felt, and we trust, not less +cordially admired, by all those who may have enjoyed the pleasure of +auricular evidence to Sir Richard's oratory. The thought of converting +the Bible into a _jest book_, is, we believe, quite new; and not more +original in itself, than characteristically just in its application to +the speaker. We all know that Saul affected insanity for the sake of +religion, in the early periods of our holy faith; and why so great an +example should not be imitated in later times, we leave it to the +prophane to shew. + +We know not whether it is worth observing, that the eloquence of this +illustrious family is not confined to Sir Richard alone; but that his +brother inherits the same gift, and, if possible, in a greater degree. +It is said, there is an intention of divesting this latter gentleman +of his clerical robe, and bringing him into the senate, as the avowed +competitor of our modern Cromwell. If this happy event should luckily +take place, we shall literally see the observation then realized, that +the Ministry will give to their wicked enemies, on the other side of +the House, what they have so long wanted and deserved. + + "------A _Rowland_ for their _Oliver_." + +This, however, by the way. Our author resumes his subject with the +following spirited apostrophe:-- + + Methinks I see him from the Bench arise, + His words all keenness, but all meek his eyes; + Define the good religion might produce, + Practise its highest excellence-abuse; + And with his tongue, that two-edg'd weapon, show, + At once the double worth of JOB and JOE. + +_Job_, as some of our more learned readers may know, is a book in the +Old Testament, and is used here _per synechdochen_, as a part for the +whole. Nothing can be more natural, than the preference given to this +book, on this occasion, as Sir Richard is well known in his speeches +to be so admirable an auxiliary to its precepts. The person of the +name of _Joe_, who has received so laconic a mention in the last line +of the above extract, will be recognized by the critical and the +intelligent, as the same individual who distinguished himself so +eminently in the sixteenth century, as a writer and a wit, namely, +Mr. Joseph Miller; a great genius, and an author, avowedly in the +highest estimation with our learned Baronet. + +The business of the composition goes on.--It is evident, however, +the poet was extremely averse to quit a subject upon which his +congenial talents reposed so kindly. He does not leave Sir Richard, +therefore, without the following finished and most high-wrought +compliment: + + With wit so various, piety so odd, + Quoting by turns from Miller and from God; + Shall no distinction wait thy honour'd name? + No lofty epithet transmit thy fame? + Forbid it wit, from mirth refin'd away! + Forbid it Scripture, which thou mak'st so gay! + SCIPIO, we know, was AFRICANUS call'd, + RICHARD styl'd LONG-SHANKS--CHARLES surnam'd the BALD; + Shall these for petty merits be renown'd, + And no proud phrase, with panegyric sound, + Swell thy short name, great HILL?--Here take thy due, + And hence be call'd the' SCRIPTURAL KILLIGREW. + +The administration of baptism to adults, is quite consonant to +Sir Richard's creed; and we are perfectly satisfied, there is not a +Member in the House of Commons that will not stand sponsor for him on +this honourable occasion. Should any one ask him in future,--Who gave +you that name? Sir Richard may fairly and truly reply, My Godfathers, +&c. and quote the whole of the lower assembly, as coming under that +description. + +MERLIN, led, as may easily be supposed, by sympathy of rank, talents, +and character, now pointed his wand to another worthy baronet, hardly +less worthy of distinction than the last personage himself, namely, +Sir JOSEPH MAWBEY. Of him the author sets out with saying, + + Let this, ye wise, be ever understood, + SIR JOSEPH is as witty as he's good.-- + +Here, for the first time, the annotators upon this immortal poem, find +themselves compelled, in critical justice to own, that the author has +not kept entire pace with the original which he has affected to +imitate. The distich, of which the above is a parody, was composed by +the worthy hero of this part of the ROLLIAD, the amiable Sir Joseph +himself, and runs thus: + + Ye ladies, of your hearts beware: + SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair. + +How kind, and how discreet a caution! This couplet, independent of its +other merits, possesses a recommendation not frequently found in +poetry, the transcendant ornament of Truth. How far, indeed, +the falshood of this respectable individual has been displayed in his +gallantries, it is not the province of sober criticism to enquire. +We take up the assertion with a large comprehension, and with a +stricter eye to general character-- + + SIR JOSEPH's false as he is fair.------ + +Is it necessary to challenge, what no one will be absurd enough to +give--a contradiction to so acknowledged a truth? Or is it necessary +to state to the fashionable reader, that whatever may be the degree of +Sir Joseph's boasted falshood, it cannot surpass the fairness of +his complexion? The position, therefore, is what logicians call +convertible: nothing can equal his falshood but his fairness; +nothing his fairness but his falshood.--Incomparable! + +Proceeding to a description of his eloquence, he says, + + A sty of pigs, though all at once it squeaks, + Means not so much as MAWBEY when he speaks; + And his'try says, he never yet had bred + A pig with such a voice or such a head! + Except, indeed, when he essays to joke; + And then his wit is truly pig-in-poke. + +Describing Sir Joseph's acquisitions as a scholar, the author adds, + + His various knowledge I will still maintain, + He is indeed a knowing man in grain. + +Some commentators have invidiously suggested, that the last line of +this couplet should be printed thus, + + He is indeed a knowing man-in grain: + +assigning as their reason, that the phrase in grain evidently alludes +to bran, with which Sir Joseph's little grunting commonwealth is +supported; and for the discreet and prudent purchase of which our +worthy baronet is famous. + +Our author concludes his description of this great senator with +the following distich: + + Such adaptation ne'er was seen before, + His trade a hog is, and his wit--a boar. + +It has been proposed to us to amend the spelling: of the last word, +thus, _bore_; this improvement, however, as it was called, we reject +as a calumny. + +Where the beauty of a passage is pre-eminently striking as above, we +waste not criticism in useless efforts at emendation. + +The writer goes on. He tells you he cannot quit this history of wits, +without saying something of another individual; whom, however, he +describes as every way inferior to the two last-mentioned, but who, +nevertheless, possesses some pretensions to a place in the ROLLIAD. +The individual alluded to, is Mr. GEORGE SELWYN. The author describes +him as a man possessed of + + A plenteous magazine of retail wit + Vamp'd up at leisure for some future hit; + Cut for suppos'd occasions, like the trade, + Where old new things for every shape are made! + To this assortment, well prepar'd at home, + No human chance unfitted e'er can come; + No accident, however strange or queer, + But meets its ready well-kept comment here. + --The wary beavers thus their stores increase, + And spend their winter on their summer's grease. + +The whole of the above description will doubtless remind the classic +reader of the following beautiful passage in the Tusculan Questions of +Cicero: _Nescio quomodo inhaeret in mentibus quasi saeculorum_ quoddam +augurium futurorum--_idque in_ maximis ingeniis altissimisque animis +_existit maxime et apparet facillime_. This will easily account for +the system of previous fabrication so well known as the character of +Mr. Selwyn's jokes. Speaking of an accident that befel this gentleman +in the _wars_, our author proceeds thus: + + Of old, when men from fevers made escape, + They sacrific'd a cock to AESCULAPE: + Thus, Love's hot fever now for ever o'er, + The prey of amorous malady no more, + SELWYN remembers what his tutor taught, + That old examples ever should be sought! + And, gaily grateful, to his surgeon cries, + "I've given to you the Ancient Sacrifice." + +The delicacy with which this historical incident is pourtrayed, +would of itself have been sufficient to transmit our author's merit +to posterity: and with the above extract we shall finish the present +number of our commentaries. + +[1] See No. III. + +[2] The Reverend Rowland Hill, brother of Sir Richard. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XI._ + +The next person among the adherents of the Minister, whom MERLIN now +points out to the notice of ROLLO, is SIR SAMUEL HANNAY, Baronet, +a name recollected with great gratitude in the House: for there are +few Members in it to whom he has not been serviceable. This worthy +character indeed has done more to disprove Martial's famous assertion, + + Non cuicunque datum est habere _nasum_, + +than any individual upon record. + +The author proceeds-- + + But why, my HANNAY, does the ling'ring Muse + The tribute of a line to thee refuse? + Say, what distinction most delights thine ear, + Or _Philo-Pill_, or _Philo-Minister?_ + Oh! may'st thou none of all thy titles lack, + Or Scot, or Statesman, Baronet or Quack; + For what is due to him, whose constant view is + _Preventing_ private, or a public _lues?_ + +Who, that read the above description, do not, during the first +impression of it, suppose that they see the worthy Baronet once more +the pride of front advertisements--once more dispensing disregard and +oblivion amongst all his competitors; and making your Leakes, your +Lockyers, and your Velnos, + + --Hide their diminish'd heads.-- + +In the passages which immediately follow, the poet goes on to +felicitate the community upon the probable advantages to be derived to +them from the junction of this illustrious personage with our +immaculate Minister. He divides his congratulations into two parts. +He first considers the consequence of the union, as they may affect +the body personal; and secondly, as they may concern the body politic. +Upon the former subject, he says, + + This famous pair, in happy league combin'd, + No risques shall man from wand'ring beauty find; + For, should not chaste example save from ill, + There's still a refuge in the other's pill. + +With a sketch equally brief and masterly as the above, he describes +his hopes on the other branch of his division. + + The body politic no more shall grieve + The motley stains that dire corruptions leave; + No dang'rous humours shall infest the state, + Nor _rotten Members_ hasten Britain's fate. + +Our author who, notwithstanding his usual and characteristic gravity, +has yet not un-frequently an obvious tendency to the sportive, +condescends now to take notice of a rumour, which in these times had +been universally circulated, that Sir Samuel bad parted with his +specific, and disposed of it to a gentleman often mentioned, and +always with infinite and due respect, in the ROLLIAD, namely, +Mr. Dundas.--Upon this he addresses Sir Samuel with equal truth and +good-humour in the following couplet: + + Then shall thy med'cine boast its native bent, + Then spread its genuine blessing--_to prevent_. + +Our readers cannot but know, it was by the means of a nostrum, +emphatically called a _Specific_, that Mr. Dundas so long contrived to +prevent the constitutional lues of a _Parliamentary Reform_. The +author, however, does not profess, to give implicit credit to the fact +of Sir Samuel's having ungratefully disposed of his favourite recipe, +the happy source of his livelihood and fame; the more so, as it +appears that Mr. Dundas had found the very word _specific_ sufficient +for protracting a dreadful political evil on the three several +instances of its application. Under this impression of the thing, +the poet strongly recommends Sir Samuel to go on in the prosecution +of his original profession, and thus expresses his wish upon +the occasion, with the correct transcript of which we shall close +the history of this great man: + + In those snug corners be thy skill display'd, + Where Nature's tribute modestly is paid: + Or near fam'd Temple-bar may some good dame, } + Herself past sport, but yet a friend to game, } + Disperse thy bills, and eternize thy fame. } + +MERLIN now calls the attention of our hero to a man whom there is +little doubt this country will long remember, and still less, that +they will have abundant reason for so doing, namely, Mr. SECRETARY +ORDE. It may seem odd by what latent association our author was led to +appeal next to the Right Honourable Secretary, immediately after the +description of a Quack Doctor; but let it be recollected in the first +place, to the honour of Sir Samuel Hannay, that he is, perhaps, +the only man of his order that ever had a place in the British House +of Commons; and in the second, that there are some leading +circumstances in the character of Mr. Orde, which will intitle him to +rank under the very same description as the worthy Baronet himself. +We all know that the most famous of all physicians, _Le Medecin malgre +lui_, is represented by Moliere, as a mart who changes the seat of the +heart, and reverses the intire position of the vital parts of the +human body. Now let it be asked, has not Mr. Orde done this most +completely and effectually with respect to the general body of the +state? Has he not transferred the heart of the empire? Has he not +changed its circulation, and altered the situation of the vital part +of the whole, from the left to the right, from the one side to the +other, from Great Britain to Ireland?--Surely no one will deny this; +and therefore none will be now ignorant of the natural gradation of +thought, by which our author was led, from the contemplation of Sir +Samuel Hannay, to the character of Mr. Orde. + +We know not whether it be worth remarking, that the term _Le Medecin +malgre lui_, has been translated into English with the usual +incivility of that people to every thing foreign, by the uncourtly +phrase of _Mock Doctor_. We trust, however, that no one will think it +applicable in this interpretation to Mr. Orde, as it is pretty evident +he has displayed no mockery in his State Practices, but has performed +the character of Moliere's _Medecin_, even beyond the notion of the +original; by having effected in sad and sober truth, to the full as +complete a change in the position of the _Coeur de l'Empire_, as the +lively fancy of the dramatist had imputed to his physician, with +respect to the human body, in mere speculative joke. + +With a great many apologies for so long a note, we proceed now to the +much more pleasant part of our duty--that of transcribing from this +excellent composition; and proceed to the description of Mr. Orde's +person, which the poet commences thus: + + Tall and erect, unmeaning, mute, and pale, + O'er his blank face no gleams of thought prevail; + Wan as the man in classic story fam'd, + Who told old PRIAM that his Ilion flam'd; + Yet soon the time will come when speak he hall, + And at his voice another Ilion fall! + +The excellence of this description consists as that of a portrait +always must, in a most scrupulous and inveterate attention to +likeness.--Those who know the original, will not question the accuracy +of resemblance on this occasion. The idea conveyed in the last line, + + And at his voice another Ilion fall, + +is a spirited imitation of the _fuimus Troes, fuit Ilium_, of Virgil, +and a most statesmanlike anticipation of the future fate of England. + +The author now takes an opportunity of shewing the profundity of his +learning in British history. He goes on to say, + + CAESAR, we know, with anxious effort try'd + To swell, with Britain's name, his triumph's pride: + Oft he essay'd, but still essay'd in vain; + Great in herself, she mock'd the menac'd chain. + But fruitless all--for what was CAESAR's sword + To thy all-conquering speeches, mighty ORDE!!! + +Our author cannot so far resist his classical propensity in this +place, as to refrain from the following allusion; which, however, must +be confessed at least, to be applied with justice. + + AMPHION's lyre, they say, could raise a town; + ORDE's elocution pulls a Nation down. + +He proceeds with equal spirit and erudition to another circumstance +in the earlier periods of English history, + + The lab'ring bosom of the teeming North + Long pour'd, in vain, her valiant offspring forth; + For GOTH or VANDAL, once on British shore, + Relax'd his nerve, and conquer'd states no more. + Not so the VANDAL of the modern time, + This latter offspring of the Northern clime; + He, with a breath, gives Britain's wealth away, + And smiles, triumphant, o'er her setting ray. + +It will be necessary to observe here, that after much enquiry and very +laborious search, as to the birth-place of the Right Honourable +Secretary (for the honour of which, however difficult now to discover, +Hibernia's cities will, doubtless, hereafter contend) we found that he +was born in NORTHUMBERLAND; which, added to other circumstances, +clearly establishes the applicability of the description of the word +_Goth_, &c. and particularly in the lines where he calls him the + + ------VANDAL of the modern time, + The latter offspring of the Northern clime. + +Having investigated, with an acumen and minuteness seldom incident to +genius, and very rarely met with in the sublimer poetry, all the +circumstances attending an event which he emphatically describes as +the _Revolution_ of seventeen hundred and eighty-five, he makes the +following address to the English: + + No more, ye English, high in classic pride, + The phrase uncouth of Ireland's sons deride; + For say, ye wise, which most performs the fool, + Or he who _speaks_, or he who _acts_--a BULL. + +The Poet catches fire as he runs: + + --Poetica surgit + Tempestas. + +He approximates now to the magnificent, or perhaps more properly to +the _mania_ of Poetry, and like another Cassandra, begins to try his +skill at prophecy; like her he predicts truly, and like her, for the +present at least, is not, perhaps, very implicitly credited.--He +proceeds thus; + + Rapt into future times, the Muse surveys + The rip'ning; wonders of succeeding days: + Sees Albion prostrate, all her splendour gone! + In useless tears her pristine state bemoan; + Sees the fair sources of her pow'r and pride + In purer channels roll their golden tide; + Sees her at once of wealth and honour shorn, + No more the nations' envy, but their scorn; + A sad example of capricious fate, + Portentous warning to the proud and great: + Sees Commerce quit her desolated isle, + And seek in other climes a kinder soil; + Sees fair Ierne rise from England's flame, + And build on British ruin, Irish fame. + +The Poet in the above passage, is supposed to have had an eye to +Juno's address to AEolus in the first book of the AEneid: + + Gens inimica mihi Tyrrhenum navigat aequor + _Ilium_ in _Italiam_ portans, _Victos_ que _Penates_. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XII._ + +Though we have at length nearly exhausted the beauties of that part +of our author's work, in which the characters of the leading Members +of the House of Commons are so poetically and forcibly delineated; +we shall find, however, that the genius of the poet seems to receive +fresh vigour, as he approaches the period of his exertions, in the +illustrious Mr. ROLLE. What can be more sublime or picturesque than +the following description! + + Erect in person, see yon Knight advance, + With trusty 'Squire, who bears his shield and lance; + The Quixote HOWARD! Royal Windsor's pride, + And Sancho Panca POWNEY by his side; + A monarch's champion, with indignant frown, + And haughty mein, he casts his gauntlet down; + Majestic sits, and hears, devoid of dread, + The dire Phillippicks whizzing round his head. + Your venom'd shafts, ye sons of Faction spare; + However keen, they cannot enter there. + +And how well do these lines, immediately succeeding, describe +the manner of speaking, which characterizes an orator of such +considerable weight and authority: + + He speaks, he speaks! Sedition's chiefs around, + With unfeign'd terror hear the solemn sound; + While little POWNEY chears with livelier note, + And shares his triumph in a silent vote. + +Some have ignorantly objected to this as an instance of that figure +for which a neighbouring kingdom is so generally celebrated, vulgarly +distinguished by the appellation of a _Bull_; erroneously conceiving a +silent vote to be incompatible with the vociferation here alluded to: +those, however, who have attended parliamentary debates, will inform +them, that numbers who most loudly exert themselves, in what is called +_chearing_ speakers, are not upon that account entitled to be +themselves considered as such.--Our author has indeed done injustice +to the worthy member in question, by classing him among the number of +mutes, he having uniformly taken a very active part in all debates +relating to the militia; of which truly constitutional body, he is a +most respectable Pillar, and one of the most conspicuous ornaments. + +It is unquestionably the highest praise we can bestow upon a member of +the British House of Commons, to say, that he is a faithful +representative of the people, and upon all occasions speaks the real +sentiments of his constituents; nor can an honest ambition to attain +the first dignities of the state, by honourable means, be ever imputed +to him as a crime. The following encomium, therefore, must be +acknowledged to have been justly merited by a noble Lord, whose +independent and disinterested conduct has drawn upon him the censures +of disappointed faction. + + The Noble CONVERT, Berwick's honour'd choice, + That faithful echo of the people's voice, + One day, to gain an Irish title glad, + For Fox he voted--so the people bad; + 'Mongst English Lords ambitious grown to sit, + Next day the people bade him vote for PITT: + To join the stream our Patriot, nothing loth, + By turns discreetly gave his voice to both. + +The title of Noble convert, which was bestowed upon his Lordship by a +Speaker of the degraded Whig faction, is here most judiciously adopted +by our Author, implying thereby that this denomination, intended, +no doubt, to convey a severe reproach, ought rather to be considered +as a subject of panegyric: this is turning the artillery of the enemy +against themselves-- + + "Neque lex est justior ulla, &c." + +In the next character introduced, some persons may perhaps object to +the seeming impropriety of alluding to a bodily defect; especially one +which has been the consequence of a most cruel accident; but when it +is considered, that the mention of the personal imperfection is made +the vehicle of an elegant compliment to the superior qualifications of +the mind, this objection, though founded in liberality, will naturally +fall to the ground. + +The circumstance of one of the Representatives of the first city in +the world having lost his leg, while bathing in the sea, by the bite +of a shark, is well known; nor can the dexterity with which he avails +himself of the use of an artificial one, have escaped the observation +of those who have seen him in the House of Commons, any more than the +remarkable humility with which he is accustomed to introduce his very +pointed and important observations upon the matters in deliberation +before that august assembly. + + "One moment's time might I presume to beg?" + Cries modest WATSON, on his wooden leg; + That leg, in which such wond'rous art is shown, + It almost seems to serve him like his own; + Oh! had the monster, who for breakfast eat + That luckless limb, his nobler noddle met, + The best of workmen, nor the best of wood, + Had scarce supply'd him with a head so good. + +To have asserted that neither the utmost extent of human skill, nor +the greatest perfection in the materials, could have been equal to an +undertaking so arduous, would have been a species of adulation so +fulsome, as to have shocked the known modesty of the worthy +magistrate; but the forcible manner in which the difficulty of +supplying so capital a loss is expressed, conveys, with the utmost +delicacy, a handsome, and, it must be confessed, a most justly merited +compliment to the Alderman's abilities. + +The imitation of celebrated writers is recommended by Longinus, +and has, as our readers must have frequently observed, been practised +with great success, by our author; yet we cannot help thinking that +he has pushed the precept of this great critic somewhat too far, +in having condescended to copy, may we venture to say with so much +servility, a genius so much inferior to himself as Mr. Pope. We allude +to the following lines: + + Can I, NEWHAVEN, FERGUSON forget, + While Roman spirit charms, or Scottish wit? + MACDONALD, shining a refulgent star, + To light alike the senate and the bar; + And HARLEY, constant to support the throne, + Great follower of its interests and his own. + +The substitution of _Scottish_ for _Attic_, in the second line, is +unquestionably an improvement, since however Attic wit may have been +proverbial in ancient times, the natives of Scotland are so +confessedly distinguished among modern nations for this quality, that +the alteration certainly adds considerable force to the compliment. +But however happily and justly the characters are here described, +we cannot think this merit sufficient to counterbalance the objection +we have presumed to suggest, and which is principally founded upon the +extreme veneration and high respect we entertain for the genius +of our author. + +Mr. Addison has observed, that Virgil falls infinitely short of Homer +in the characters of his Epic Poem, both as to their variety and +novelty, but he could not with justice have said the same of the +author of the ROLLIAD; and we will venture to assert, that the single +book of this Poem, now under our consideration, is, in this respect, +superior to the whole, both of the Iliad and the AEneid together. +The characters succeed each other with a rapidity that scarcely allows +the reader time to admire and feel their several beauties. + + GALWAY and GIDEON, in themselves a host, + Of York and Coventry the splendid boast: + WHITBREAD and ONGLEY, pride of Bedford's vale, + This fam'd for selling, that for saving ale; + And NANCY POULETT, as the morning fair, + Bright as the sun, but common as the air; + Inconstant nymph! who still with open arms, + To ev'ry Minister devotes her charms. + +But when the Poet comes to describe the character of the hero of his +work, the present Member for the county of Devon, whom MERLIN points +out to his illustrious ancestor, as uniting in himself all the Various +merits of the worthies whose excellencies he has recorded, he seems to +rise even above himself.--It is impossible to do justice to his +character, without transcribing the whole, which would exceed the +limits of our work; we shall therefore only give to our readers the +concluding lines, because they contain characteristic observations +upon other distinguished Members, most of whom have hitherto passed +unnoticed: + + In thee, my son, shall ev'ry virtue meet, + To form both senator and man complete: + A mind like WRAY's, with stores of fancy fraught, + The wise Sir WATKIN's vast extent of thought; + Old NUGENT's style, sublime, yet ne'er obscure, + With BAMBER's Grammar, as his conscience pure; + BRETT's brilliant sallies, MARTIN's sterling sense, + And GILBERT's wit, that never gave offence: + Like WILKES, a zealot in his Sovereign's cause, + Learn'd as MACDONALD in his country's laws; + Acute as AUDREY, as Sir LLOYD polite, + As EASTWICKE lively, and as AMBLER bright. + +The justice of [1] the compliment to SIR CECIL WRAY, will not be +disputed by those who have been fortunate enough to have met with the +beautiful specimens of juvenile poetry, with which some of his friends +have lately indulged the public. + +Johannes Scriblerus, a lineal descendant of the learned and celebrated +Martinus, reads "Starling Martin's sense," alluding to that powerful +opponent of the detestable Coalition having recommended that a bird of +that species should be placed on the right of the Speaker's chair, +after having been taught to repeat the word Coalition, in order to +remind the House of that disgraceful event, which had nearly +established an efficient and strong government in this country: to +which severe and admirable stroke of satire, the object of it clumsily +and uncivilly answered, that whilst that gentleman sat in the House, +he believed the Starling might be allowed to perform his office by +deputy. We have, however, ventured to differ from this great authority, +and shall continue to read, "Martin's Sterling sense," as well +because we are of opinion that these words are peculiarly applicable +to the gentleman alluded to, as that it does not appear probable our +author should have been willing to make his poem the vehicle of an +indecent sarcasm, upon a person of such eminent abilities. + +The compliment to Mr. B.G. in the comparison of the purity of his +language to the integrity of his conduct, is happily conceived; +but that to the ingenious Mr. Gilbert, the worthy Chairman of the +Committee of Supply, is above all praise, and will, we are persuaded, +notwithstanding the violence of party, by all sides be admitted to be +strictly just. + +[1] The characteristic of _Fancy_, which our Poet has attributed to +Sir Cecil, must not be misunderstood. It is a Fancy of the chastized +kind; distinguished for that elegant simplicity, which the French call +_naivete_, and the Greeks {apheleia}. We shall insert here two or +three of the shorter specimens. + + _To_ CAELIA _(now Lady_ Wray) _on seeing her the 8th of August, 1776, + powdering her hair_ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don't never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + + _To_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing, in consequence of a previous + Engagement, a Party to go a-fishing for White-Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing + You'll come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + + _A Thought on_ NEW MILK _some Time toward the Spring of the Year + 1773._ + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar!--smooth as silk! + + _An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my Coals by peck, that we + May have 'em _fresh_ and _fresh_, d'ye see. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +After concluding the review of the Ministerialists with the young +Marcellus of the Poem, the illustrious Mr. ROLLE; our author directs +the attention of DUKE ROLLO to the Opposition-bench. He notices the +cautious silence of MERLIN relative to that side of the House, and +rather inquisitively asks the reason; on which the Philosopher +(a little unphilosophically, we must confess) throws himself into a +violent passion, and for a long time is wholly incapable of +articulating a syllable. This is a common situation in poets both +ancient and modern, as in Virgil and Milton; + + Ter conata loqui, &c. + Thrice he essay'd, and thrice in spight of scorn + Tears, such as angels weep, burst forth, &c. + +but we will venture to assert, that it was never painted in a manner +half so lively, as by the author of the ROLLIAD. + + Thrice he essay'd, but thrice in vain essay'd; + His tongue, throat, teeth, and lips, refus'd their aid: + Till now the stifled breath a passage broke; + He gasp'd, he gap'd--but not a word he spoke. + +How accurately, and learnedly, has the poet enumerated all the organs +of speech, which separately and jointly refuse to execute their +respective offices! How superior is this to the simply cleaving of the +tongue to the palate, the _Vox faucibus haesit_ of Virgil. For as +Quintilian observes, a detail of particulars is infinitely better than +any general expression, however strong. Then the poor Prophet obtains +a little remission of his paroxysm; he begins to breathe +convulsively--_he gasped_; he opens his mouth to its utmost +extent--_he gaped_; our expectations are raised, and, alas! he still +continues unable to utter--_not a word he spoke_. Surely nothing can +be more natural in point of truth, than all the circumstances of this +inimitable description: nothing more artful in point of effect, than +the suspence and attention which it begets in the mind of the reader! + +At length, however, MERLIN recovers his voice; and breaks out into a +strain of most animated invective, infinitely superior to every thing +of the kind in Homer; though the old Grecian must be acknowledged not +to want spirit in the altercations, or scolding matches, of his heroes +and Gods. The Prophet begins, as a man in any great emotion always +must, at the middle of a verse; + + ------ ------ ------Tatterdemalions, + Scald miserables, Rascals and Rascalions, + Buffoons, Dependants, Parasites, Toad-eaters, + Knaves, Sharpers, Black-legs, Palmers, Coggers, Cheaters, + Scrubs, Vagrants, Beggars, Mumpers, Ragamuffins, + Rogues, Villains, Bravos, Desperados, Ruffians, + Thieves, Robbers, Cut-throats, &c. &c. &c. + +And in this manner he proceeds, with single appellatives of reproach, +for ten or twelve lines further; when, his virtuous indignation a +little subsiding, or his Dictionary failing, he becomes more +circumlocutory; as for instance, + + Burglarious Scoundrels, that again would steal + The PREMIER's Plate, and CHANCELLOR's Great Seal; + Of public Murderers, Patrons and Allies, + Hirelings of France, their country's enemies, &c. + +which style he continues for more than twenty lines. + +We are truly sorry, that the boundaries of our plan would not allow us +to present our readers with the whole of this finished passage in +detail; as it furnishes an indisputable proof, that, however the Greek +language may have been celebrated for its copiousness, it must yield +in that respect to the English. For if we were to collect all the +terms of infamy bandied about[1], from AEschines to Demosthenes, and +from Demosthenes back again to AEschines; and if to these we should +add in Latin the whole torrent of calumny poured by Cicero on Antony +and Piso; though the ancient orators were tolerably fluent in this +kind of eloquence, they would, all together, be found to fall very +short of our poet, shackled as he is with rhyme, in the force no less +than the variety of his objurgatory epithets. At the same time it must +not be concealed, that he possessed one very considerable advantage in +the rich repositories of our ministerial newspapers. He has culled the +flowers, skimmed the cream, and extracted the very quintessence of +those elegant productions with equal industry and success. Indeed, +such of our readers as are conversant with the Morning Post and Public +Advertiser, the White-Hall, the St. James's, and, in short, the +greater part of the evening prints, will immediately discover the +passage now before us to be little more than a cento. It is however +such a cento as indicates the man of genius, whom puny scribblers may +in vain endeavour to imitate in the NEW ROLLIADS. + +It is possible, MERLIN might even have gone on much longer: but he is +interrupted by one of those disturbances which frequently prevail in +the House of Commons. The confusion is finely described in the +following broken couplet: + + Spoke! Spoke!--Sir--Mr. Speaker--Order there! + I rise--spoke! Question! Question!--Chair! Chair! Chair! + +This incident is highly natural, and introduced with the greatest +judgment, as it gives another opportunity of exhibiting Mr. ROLLE, and +in a situation, where he always appears with conspicuous pre-eminence. + + Great ROLLO look'd, amaz'd; nor without fears, + His hands applied by instinct to his ears: + He look'd, and lo! amid the wild acclaim + Discern'd the future glory of his name; + O'er this new Babel of the noisy croud, + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + Him yet he heard, with thund'ring voice contend, + "Him first, him last, him midst, him without end." + +This concluding line our author has condescended to borrow from +Milton; but how apposite and forcible is the application! How +emphatically does it express the noble perseverance with which the +Member for Devonshire has been known to persist on these occasions, +in opposition to the Speaker himself. + +ROLLO, however, is at length wearied, as the greatest admirers +of Mr. ROLLE have sometimes been, with the triumphs of his +illustrious descendant. + + But ROLLO, as he clos'd his ears before, + Now tired, averts his eyes to see no more. + Observant MERLIN, while he turn'd his head, + The lantern shifted, and the vision fled. + +To understand this last line, our reader must recollect, that though +the characters introduced in this vision are preternaturally endowed +with seeming powers of speech, yet the forms or shadows of them are +shewn by means of a magic lantern. + +Having now concluded our observations upon this part of the Poem--we +shall close them with remarking, that as our author evidently borrowed +the idea of this vision, in which the character of future times are +described, from Virgil, he has far surpassed his original; and as his +description of the present House of Commons, may not improbably have +called to his mind the Pandaemonium of Milton, we do not scruple to +assert, that in the execution of his design, that great master of the +sublime has fallen infinitely short of him. + +[1] More particularly in their two famous orations, which, are +entitled "_On the Crown._" + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +Our readers may possibly think, that verses enough have been already +devoted to the celebration of Mr. ROLLE; the Poet, however, is not of +the same opinion. To crown the whole, he now proceeds to commemorate +the column which is shortly to be erected on the spot, where the +Member for Devonshire formerly went to School, application having been +made to Parliament for leave to remove the school from its present +situation; and a motion being intended to follow, for appropriating a +sum of money to mark the scene and record the fact of Mr. ROLLE's +education, for the satisfaction of posterity, who might otherwise have +been left in a state of uncertainty, whether this great man had any +education at all. + +MERLIN first shews ROLLO the school. The transition to this object +from the present House of Commons is easy and obvious. Indeed, the +striking similarity between the two visions is observed by ROLLO in +the following passage: + + The Hero sees, thick-swarming round the place, + In bloom of early youth, a busy race; + _Propria quae maribus_, with barbarous sound, + _Syntax_ and _prosody_ his ear confound, + "And say (he cries), Interpreter of fate, + Oh! say, is this some jargon of debate? + What means the din, and what the scene? proclaim; + Is this another vision, or the same? + For trust me, Prophet, to my ears, my eyes, + A second House of Commons seems to rise." + +MERLIN however rectifies the mistake of the good Duke: and points out +to him his great descendant, in the shape of a lubberly boy, as +remarkably mute on this occasion, as we lately found him in the House, + + More fierce than all, more turbulent, more loud. + +The flaggellation of Mr. ROLLE succeeds, which, as MERLIN informs +ROLLO, is his daily discipline. The sight of the rod, which the +Paedagogue flourishes with a degree of savage triumph over the exposed, +and bleeding youth, awakens all the feelings of the ancestor: + + Stay, monster, stay! he cries in hasty mood, + Throw that dire weapon down--behold my blood! + +We quote this couplet the rather, because it proves our author to be +as good a Critic as a Poet. For the last line is undoubtedly a new +reading of Virgil's, + + Projice tela manu,--Sanguis meus! + +And how much more spirited is this interpretation, + + ------ ------ ------Behold my blood! + +than the commonly received construction of the Latin words, by which +they are made to signify simply, "O my son!" and that too with the +assistance of a poetical licence. There is not a better emendation in +all the Virgilius Restauratus of the learned Martinus Scriblerus. + +On the exclamation of ROLLO, which we have just quoted, the Prophet, +perceiving that he has moved his illustrious visitor a little too far, +administers every consolation, + + "Thy care dismiss (the Seer replied, and smil'd) + Tho' rods awhile may weal the sacred child, + In vain ten thousand [1]BUSBIES should employ + Their pedant arts his genius to destroy; + In vain at either end thy ROLLE assail, + To learning proof alike at head and tail." + +Accordingly this assurance has its proper effect in calming the mind +of the Duke. + +But the great topic of comfort, or we should rather say of exultation, +to him, is the prophecy of the column, with which MERLIN concludes his +speech: + + Where now he suffers, on this hallow'd land, + A Column, public Monument, shall stand: + And many a bard around the sculptur'd base, + In many a language his renown shall trace; + In French, Italian, Latin, and in Greek; + That all, whose curious search this spot shall seek, + May read, and reading tell at home, return'd, + How much great ROLLE was flogg'd, how little learn'd. + +What a noble, and what a just character of the great ROLLE is +contained in the last line! A mind tinctured with modern prejudices +may be at a loss to discover the compliment. But our author is a man +of erudition and draws his ideas from ancient learning, even where he +employs that learning, like [2]Erasmus and the admirable Creichton, +in praise of ignorance. Our classical readers, therefore, will see in +this portrait of Mr. ROLLE, the living resemblance of the ancient +Spartans; a people the pride of Greece, and admiration of the world, +who are peculiarly distinguished in history for their systematic +contempt of the fine arts, and the patience with which they taught +their children to bear floggings. + +The School now vanishes, and the Column rises, properly adorned with +the inscriptions, which the philosopher explains. But as we have been +favoured with correct copies of the inscriptions themselves, which +were selected from a much greater number composed by our universities, +we shall here desert our Poet, and present the public with the +originals. + +The two first are in Greek; and agreeably to the usual style of Greek +inscriptions, relate the plain fact in short and simple, but elegant +and forcible, phraseology. + + {Ode to Rhetorikes deinon stoma thauma te Bules, + Prota DEBONIZEIN apemanthane pais pote ROLLOS.} + +The word {Debonizein} is not to be found in our Lexicons; but we +presume, that it means, "to speak the dialect of Devonshire;" from +{Debonia}, which is Greek for Devonshire. Accordingly, we have so +rendered it in a translation, which we have attempted for the benefit +of the country gentlemen and the ladies. + + The senate's wonder, ROLLE [3]of mighty tongue, + Here first his Devonshire unlearn'd when young. + +How simple, yet how full, is the expression of this distich! +How perfectly does it agree with the notion, which our poet has +inculcated, of Mr. ROLLE! He was employed at school not to learn but +to unlearn; his whole progress, was, like a crab's, backward. + +There is a beauty in the Greek which it is impossible to preserve in +English; the word which we have translated "_unlearned_," is in the +imperfect tense: and, in the nicety of that accurate language implies, +that the action was begun, but not completed; that Mr. ROLLE made some +proficiency in unlearning his Devonshire; but had not effectually +accomplished it during his stay at the school. + +The other Greek inscription has something more ingenious, from a +seeming paradox in the turn of it: + + {Outus o mepote pou ti mathon pros metinos, ode + Pais pote ROLLIADES, ossaper oid, emathen.} + + He, who to learning nothing owes, + Here ROLLE, a boy, learn'd all he knows. + +By which concluding word "_knows_," we must certainly understand +acquired knowledge only; since Mr. ROLLE has been celebrated by our +Poet in the most unequivocal manner, as may be seen in the twelfth +number of our Criticisms, for his great natural faculties. The sense +of this last Epigram will then be merely, that the Member for +Devonshire had no particle of acquired knowledge; but is an +{autodidaktos}, a self-taught scholar, a character so much admired in +ancient times. The Latin inscription is as follows: + + Hic ferulae, dextram, hic, virgis caedenda magistri, + Nuda dedit patiens tergora ROLLIADES. + At non ROLLIADEN domuerunt verbera; non, quae + Nescio quid gravius praemonuere, minae, + Ah! quoties illum aequalis mirata corona est + Nec lacrymam in paenis rumpere, nec gemitum! + Ah! quoties, cum supplicio jam incumberet, ipsi + [4]Orbillo cecidit victa labore manus! + I, puer; I, forti tolerando pectore plagas, + AEmula ROLLIADAE nomina disce sequi. + + Here to the ferule ROLLE his hand resign'd, + Here to the rod he bar'd the parts behind; + But him no stripes subdu'd, and him no fear + Of menac'd wrath in future more severe. + How oft the youthful circle wond'ring saw + That pain from him nor tear, nor groan could draw! + How oft, when still unmoved, he long'd to jerk, + The master's wearied hand forsook the work! + Go, boy; and scorning rods, or ferules, aim + By equal worth to rival ROLLE in fame. + +The beauty of these lines, we presume, is too obvious to require any +comment. We will confidently affirm, that they record as glorious an +example of patience as any to be found in all the History of the +Flagellants, though the ingenious M. De Lolme has extended the subject +into a handsome Quarto. + +The Italian inscription is a kind of short dialogue, in which the +traveller is introduced, demanding the name of the person to whom +the pillar is erected. + + A chi si sta questa colonna? Al ROLLE; + Che di parlar apprese in questo loco + Greco e Latino no, ma Inglese--un poco. + Basta cosi. Chi non sa il resto, e folle. + +This abrupt conclusion we think very fine. It has however been +censured as equivocal. Some critics have urged, that the same turn +has, in fact, been applied equally to men greatly famous and greatly +infamous; to Johannes Mirandula, and Colonel Chartres: and in the +present case, say these cavillers, it may be construed to signify +either that the rest is too well known to require repetition, or that +there is nothing more to be known. But the great character of +Mr. ROLLE will at once remove all ambiguity. + +The French inscription was furnished by Mr. ROLLE himself on the day +of his election. The idea was first expressed by him in English, +and then done into French verse by the [5] Dutch dancing master +at Exeter, to whom Mr. ROLLE is indebted for his extraordinary +proficiency in that science. + + Ne pouvoir point parler a mon chien je reproche; + Moi, j'acquis en ces lieux le don de la parole: + Je vais donc, & bien vite, a Londres par le coche, + Faire entendre au Senat, que je suis un vrai ROLLE. + +The _par le coche_ seems to be an addition of the Dancing-master, +who was certainly no very great Poet, as appears by his use of +feminine rhymes only, without any mixture of masculine: an +irregularity perfectly inadmissible, as all our polite readers must +know, in the nicety of French prosody. We shall subjoin for the +entertainment of our readers an inscription in the parish school at +Rouen, which was written about a century since on the original Rollo. + + Ici ROLLON fesse soir & matin, + Beaucoup souffrit, point n'apprit se Latin. + Aux fiers combats bien mieux joua son role: + Tuer des gens lui parut chose drole. + Femme epousa, plus douce que satin, + Et, par bonheur, deja veuve & catin; + D'elle recut un fils & la v------le. + Ainsi, Lecteur, naquit le premier ROLLE! + +But to return to our author. After the vision of the column, MERLIN +proceeds in a short speech to intimate to ROLLO, that higher honours +may yet await his descendant in the House of Lords, + + Where ROLLE may be, what ROLLO was before. + +This, as may be naturally supposed, excites the curiosity of the Duke; +but MERLIN declares, that it is not permitted him to reveal the +glories of the Upper house. The hero must first fulfil his fates, +by mortally wounding the Saxon drummer, whom Providence shall inspire +in his last moments for this particular purpose. + + Ere yet thou know, what higher honours wait + Thy future race, accomplish them thy fate. + When now the bravest of our Saxon train + Beneath thy conquering arms shall press the plain; + What yet remains, his voice divine in death + Shall tell, and Heav'n for this shall lengthen out his breath. + +Which last line is most happily lengthened out into an Alexandrine, +to make the sound an echo to the sense. The pause too after the words +"shall tell," finely marks the sudden catches and spasmodic efforts of +a dying man. Some extracts from the Drummer's prophecies have already +been given to the public; and from these specimens of his loquacity +with a thurst in quarte through his lungs, our readers will probably +see the propriety with which the immediate hand of Heaven is here +introduced. The most rigid critic will not deny that here is truly the + + Dignus vindice nodus, + +which Horace requires to justify the interposition of a Divinity. + +We are now come to the concluding lines of the sixth book. Our readers +are probably acquainted with the commonly-received superstition +relative to the exit of Magicians, that they are carried away by +Devils. The poet has made exquisite use of this popular belief, though +he could not help returning in the last line to his favourite Virgil. +Classical observers will immediately perceive the allusion to + + ------Revocare gradum, superasque evadere ad auras + Hic labor, hoc opus est; + +in the description of ROLLO's re-ascent from the night-cellar into +the open air. + +The Prophet foreseeing his instant end, + + "At once, farewel," he said. But, as he said, + Like mortal bailiffs to the sight array'd, + Two fiends advancing seiz'd, and bore away + To their dark dens the much-resisting prey: + While ROLLO nimbly clamber'd in a fright, + Tho' steep and difficult the way, to light. + +And thus ends the sixth book of the ROLLIAD; which we have chosen for +the subject of the FIRST PART of our CRITICISMS. In the second part, +which is now going on in the Morning-Herald, where the first draughts +of the present numbers were originally published, we shall pursue our +Commentary through the House of Peers; and in a third part, for which +we are now preparing and arranging materials, it is our intention to +present our readers with a series of anecdotes from the political +history of our ministry, which our author has artfully contrived to +interweave in his inimitable poem. + +And here, while we are closing this first Part, we cannot but +congratulate ourselves, that we have been the humble instruments of +first calling the attention of the learned to this wonderful effort of +modern genius, the fame of, which has already exceeded the limits of +this island, and perhaps may not be circumscribed by the present age; +which, we have the best reason to believe, will very shortly diffuse +the glory of our present Rulers in many and distant quarters of the +globe; and which may not improbably descend to exhibit them in their +true colours to remote posterity. That we indeed imagine our +Criticisms to have contributed very much to this great popularity of +the ROLLIAD, we will not attempt to conceal. And this persuasion shall +animate us to continue our endeavours with redoubled application, that +we may complete, as early as possible, the design, which we have some +time since formed to ourselves, and which we have now submitted to the +Public; happy, if that which is yet to come, be received with the same +degree of favour as this, which is now finished, so peculiarly +experienced even in its most imperfect condition. + + +[1] Dr. Busby, formerly master of Westminster school, was famous for +his consumption of birch. MERLIN uses his name here by the spirit of +prophecy. + +[2] Erasmus wrote an _Encomium of Folly_, with abundant wit and +learning. +For Creichton, see the Adventurer. + +[3] The literal English is "_vehement mouth of oratory._" + +[4] A great flogger of antiquity, + ------Memini quae _plagosum_ mihi parvo + _Orbilium_ dictare. HOR. + +[5] Mynheer Hoppingen Van Caperagen, who soon after the publication of +our first authentic Edition, sent the following letter to Mr. Ridgway: + + D'Exeter, ce 18 Avril, 1785. + + "Je suis fort etonne. Monsieur, que vous ayez eu la hardiesse + d'admettre dans "_La Critique de la Rolliade_," une accusation + contre moi qui n'est nullement fondee, et qui tend a me nuire dans + l'esprit de tous les amateurs des beaux arts. Sachez, Monsieur, que + je me suis donne la peine de traduire _mot a mot_ la celebre + inscription, de mon digne eleve et protecteur, _Mr. Rolle_; que je + n'y ai rien ajoute, et que dans le vers ou il est question _du + coche_, votre Critique n'auroit du voir qu'une preuve de l'economie + de mon susdit _Mecene_. Quant aux rimes feminines que l'auteur me + reproche avec tant d'aigreur, je vous dirai qu'il n'y a rien de + _male_ dans l'esprit de Mr. _Rolle_, et que j'aurois blesse sa + delicatesse en m'y prenant autrement; d'ailleurs je me moque des + usages, et je ne veux pas que mes vers sautent a clochepied, comme + ceux des poetes Francois, qui n'entendent rien a la danse. Je ne + doute pas que vous approuviez mon sentiment la-dessus, et que vous + me fassiez rendre justice sur l'objet de ma plainte: en attendant, + je vous prie de croire que je suis, avec le plus vif attachment, + Monsieur, votre tres obeissant serviteur, + HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERAGEN." + + +END OF PART THE FIRST. + + + + +CRITICISMS +ON +THE ROLLIAD. + + +PART THE SECOND + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER I._ + +We have now followed our admirable author through the _Sixth Book_ of +his poem; very much to our own edification, and, we flatter ourselves, +no less to the satisfaction of our readers. We have shewn the art with +which he has introduced a description of the leading characters of our +present House of Commons, by a contrivance something similar indeed to +that employed by Virgil, but at the same time sufficiently unlike to +substantiate his own claim to originality. And surely every candid +critic will admit, that had he satisfied himself with the same device, +in order to panegyrize his favourites in the other House, he would +have been perfectly blameless. But to the writer of the ROLLIAD, it +was not sufficient to escape censure; he must extort our praise, and +excite our admiration. + +Our classical readers will recollect, that all Epic Heroes possess in +common with the poets who celebrate their actions, the gift of +_prophecy_; with this difference however, that poets prophecy while +they are in sound health, whereas the hero never begins to talk about +futurity, until he has received such a mortal wound in his lungs as +would prevent any man but a hero from talking at all: and it is +probably in allusion to this circumstance, that the power of +divination is distinguished in North Britain by the name of SECOND +SIGHT, as commencing when common vision ends. This faculty has been +attributed to dying warriors, both by _Homer_ and _Virgil_; but +neither of these poets have made so good use of it as our author, who +has introduced into the last dying speech of the Saxon Drummer, the +whole birth, parentage, and education, life, character, and behaviour, +of all those benefactors of their country, who at present adorn the +House of Peers, thereby conforming himself to modern usage, and at +the same time distinguishing the victorious Rollo's prowess in +subduing an adversary, who dies infinitely harder than either Turnus +or Hector. + +Without farther comment, we shall now proceed to favour our readers +with a few extracts. The first Peer mentioned by the _Dying Drummer_, +is the present _Marquis of Buckingham_: his appearance is ushered in +by an elegant panegyric on his father, Mr. _George Grenville_, of +which we shall only give the concluding lines: + + _George_, in whose subtle brain, if Fame say true, + Full-fraught with wars, the fatal stamp-act grew; + Great financier! stupenduous calculator!-- + _But, George_ the son is _twenty-one times_ greater! + +It would require a volume, not only to point out all the merits of the +last line, but even to do justice to that Pindaric spirit, that abrupt +beauty, that graceful aberration from rigid grammatical contexts, +which appears in the single word _but_. We had however a further +intention in quoting this passage, viz. to assert our author's claim +to the invention of that species of MORAL ARITHMETIC, which, by the +means of proper additions, subtractions, multiplications and +divisions, ascertains the relative merits of two characters more +correctly than any other mode of investigation hitherto invented. Lord +Thurlow, when he informed the House of Peers, that, "_one_ Hastings is +worth _twenty_ Macartneys," had certainly the merit of ascertaining +the comparative value of the two men in _whole numbers_, and _without +a fraction_. He likewise enabled his auditors, by means of _the rule +of three_, to find out the numerical excellence of any other +individual; but to compare Lord Thurlow with our author, would be to +compare the scholar with the inventor; to compare a common +house-steward with _Euclid_ or _Archimedes_. We now return to the +poem. + +After the lines already quoted, our dying drummer breaks out into the +following wonderful apostrophe: + + Approach, ye sophs, who, in your northern den, + Wield, with both hands, your huge _didactic_ pen; + Who, step by step, o'er _Pindus_' up-hill road, + Drag slowly on your learning's pond'rous load: + Though many a shock your perilous march encumbers, + Ere the stiff prose can struggle into numbers; + And you, at _comets' tails_, who fondly stare, + And find a mistress in the _lesser bear_; + And you, who, full with metaphysics fraught, + Detect sensation starting into thought, + And trace each sketch by Memory's hand design'd + On that strange magic lantern call'd the MIND; + And you, who watch each loit'ring empire's fate; + Who heap up fact on fact, and date on date; + Who count the threads that fill the mystic loom, + Where patient vengeance wove the fate of Rome; + Who tell that wealth unnerv'd her soldier's hand, } + That Folly urg'd the fate by traitor's plann'd; } + Or, that she fell--because she could not stand: } + Approach, and view, in this capacious mind, + Your scatter'd science in one mass combin'd: + Whate'er tradition tells, or poets sing, + Of giant-killing John, or John the King; + Whate'er------ + +But we are apprehensive that our zeal has already hurried us too far, +and that we have exceeded the just bounds of this paper. We shall +therefore take some future opportunity of reverting to the character +of this prodigious nobleman, who possesses, and deserves to possess, +so distinguished a share in his master's confidence. Suffice it to +say, that our author does full justice to every part of his character. +He considers him as a walking warehouse of facts of all kinds, whether +relating to history, astronomy, metaphysics, heraldry, fortifications, +naval tactics, or midwifery; at the same time representing him as a +kind of haberdasher of small talents, which he retails to the female +part of his family, instructing them in the mystery of precedence, +the whole art of scented pomatums, the doctrine of salves for broken +heads, of putty for _broken windows_, &c. &c. &c. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER II._ + +We now return to the dying drummer, whom we left in the middle of his +eulogy on the Marquis of Buckingham. + +It being admitted, that the powers of the human mind depend on the +number and association of our ideas, it is easy to shew that the +illustrious Marquis is entitled to the highest rank in the scale of +human intelligence. His mind possesses an unlimited power of +inglutition, and his ideas adhere to each other with such tenacity, +that whenever his memory is stimulated by any powerful interrogatory, +it not only discharges a full answer to that individual question, but +likewise such a prodigious flood of collateral knowledge, derived from +copious and repeated infusions, as no common skull would be capable of +containing. For these reasons, his Lordship's fitness for the +department of the Admiralty, a department connected with the whole +cyclopoedia of science, and requiring the greatest variety of talents +and exertions, seems to be pointed out by the hand of Heaven;--it is +likewise pointed out by the dying drummer, who describes in the +following lines, the immediate cause of his nomination:-- + + On the great day, when Buckingham, by pairs + Ascended, Heaven impell'd, the K------'s back-stairs; + And panting breathless, strain'd his lungs to show + From Fox's bill what mighty ills would flow: + That soon, _its source corrupt, Opinion's thread, + On India's deleterious streams wou'd shed_; + That Hastings, Munny Begum, Scott, must fall, + And Pitt, and Jenkinson, and Leadenhall; + Still, as with stammering tongue, he told his tale, + Unusual terrors Brunswick's heart assail; + Wide starts his white wig from his royal ear, + And each particular hair stands stiff with fear, + +We flatter ourselves that few of our readers are so void of taste, +as not to feel the transcendant beauties of this description. First, +we see the noble Marquis mount the fatal steps "by pairs," _i.e._ by +two at a time; and with a degree of effort and fatigue: and then he is +out of breath, which is perfectly natural. The obscurity of the third +couplet, an _obscurity_ which has been imitated by all the ministerial +writers on the India bill, arises from a confusion of metaphor, +so inexpressibly beautiful, that Mr. Hastings has thought fit to copy +it almost verbatum, in his celebrated letter from Lucknow. The effects +of terror on the royal wig, are happily imagined, and are infinitely +more sublime than the "_steteruntque comae_" of the Roman poet; as the +attachment of a wig to its wearer, is obviously more generous and +disinterested than that of the person's own hair, which naturally +participates in the good or ill fortune of the head on which it grows. +But to proceed.--Men in a fright are usually generous;--on that great +day, therefore, the Marquis obtained the promise of the Admiralty. +The dying drummer then proceeds to describe the Marquis's well-known +vision, which he prefaces by a compliment on his Lordship's +extraordinary proficiency in the art of lace-making. We have all +admired the parliamentary exertions of this great man, on every +subject that related to an art in which the county of Buckingham is so +deeply interested; an art, by means of which Britannia (as our author +happily expresses it) + + Puckers round naked breasts, a decent trimming, + Spreads the thread trade, and propagates old women! + +How naturally do we feel disposed to join with the dying drummer, in +the pathetic apostrophe which he addresses to his hero, when he +foresees that this attention will necessarily be diverted to other +objects:-- + + Alas! no longer round thy favorite STOWE, + Shalt thou the nicer arts to artists show, + No more on thumb-worn cushions deign to trace, + With critic touch, the texture of bone-lace; + And from severer toils, some moments robbing! + Reclaim the vagrant thread, or truant bobbin! + Far, other scenes of future glory rise, + To glad thy sleeping, and thy waking eyes; + As busy fancy paints the gaudy dream, + Ideal docks, with shadowy navies teem: + Whate'er on sea, on lake, or river floats, + Ships, barges, rafts, skiffs, tubs, flat-bottom'd boats, + Smiths, sailors, carpenters, in busy crowds, + Mast, cable, yard, sail, bow-sprit, anchor, shrowds, + Knives, gigs, harpoons, swords, handspikes, cutlass blades, + Guns, pistols, swivels, cannons, carronades: + All rise to view!--All blend in gorgeous show! + Tritons and tridents, turpentine, tar--tow! + +We will take upon ourselves to attest, that neither Homer nor Virgil +ever produced any thing like this. How amiable, how interesting, +is the condescension of the illustrious Marquis, while he assists the +old women in his neighbourhood in making bone-lace! How artfully is +the modest appearance of the aforesaid old women's cushions (which we +are also told were dirty cushions) contrasted with the splendor and +magnificence of the subsequent vision! How masterly is the structure +of the last verse, and how nobly does the climax rise from tritons and +tridents--from objects which are rather picturesque than necessary--to +that most important article _tow_! an article "without which," in +the opinion of Lord Mulgrave, "it would be impossible to fit out a +single ship." + +The drummer is next led to investigate the different modes of +meliorating our navy; in the course of which he introduces the +Marquis's private thoughts on _flax_ and _forest-trees_; the natural +history of _nettles_, with proofs of their excellence in making +cables; a project to produce _aurum fulminans_ from Pinchbeck's metal, +instead of gold, occasioned by admiral Barrington's complaint of bad +powder; a discussion of Lord Ferrers's mathematical mode of +ship-building; and a lamentation on the pertinacity with which his +Lordship's vessels have hitherto refused to sail. The grief of the +Marquis on this occasion, awaking all our sympathy-- + + Sighing, he struck his breast, and cried, "Alas! + Shall a three decker's huge unwieldy mass, + 'Mid croud of foes, stand stupidly at bay, + And by rude force, like Ajax, gain the day? + No!--let Invention!------" + +And at the moment his Lordship becomes pregnant, and is delivered of +a project that solves every difficulty. + +The reader will recollect Commodore Johnstone's discovery, that +"the aliquot parts being equal to the whole, two frigates are +indisputably tantamount to a line of battle-ship; nay, that they are +superior to it, as being more manageable." Now, a sloop being more +docile than a frigate, and a cutter more versatile than a sloop, +&c. &c. is it not obvious that the _force_ of any vessel must be in an +inverse ratio to its _strength_? Hence, Lord Buckingham most properly +observes, + + Our light arm'd fleet will spread a general panic, + For speed is power, says Pinchbeck, the mechanic. + +The only objection to this system, is the trite professional idea, +that ships having been for some years past in the habit of sailing +directly forwards, must necessarily form and fight _in a straight +line_; but according to Lord Buckingham's plan, the line of battle in +future is to be like the line of beauty, _waving_ and _tortuous_; so +that if the French, who confessedly are the most imitative people on +the earth, should wish to copy our manoeuvres, their larger ships will +necessarily be thrown into confusion, and consequently be beaten. + +But as Sir Gregory Page Turner finely says, "infallibility is not +given to human nature." Our prodigious Marquis, therefore, diffident +of his talents, and not yet satisfied with his plan, rakes into that +vast heap of knowledge, which he has collected from reading, and forms +into one _compost_, all the naval inventions of every age and country, +in order to meliorate and fertilize the colder genius of Great +Britain. "In future," says the drummer, + + All ages, and all countries, shall combine, + To form our navy's variegated line. + Like some vast whale, or all-devouring shark, + High in the midst shall rise old Noah's _ark_: + Or, if that ark be lost, of equal bulk, + Our novel Noah rigs--the _Justice Hulk_: + An Argo next, the peerless Catherine sends, + The gorgeous gift of her _Mingrelian_ friends: + +Here we cannot repress our admiration at the drummer's skill in +geography and politics. He not only tells us that _Mingrelia_ is the +ancient _Colchis_, the country visited by the Argonauts, the country +which was then so famous for its fleeces, and which even now sends so +many virgins to the Grand Seignior's seraglio, but he foresees the +advantages that will be derived to the navy of this kingdom, by the +submission of his Mingrelian majesty to the Empress of Russia. +But to proceed: + + And next, at our Canadian brethren's pray'r, + Ten stout _triremes_ the good pope shall spare! + +We apprehend, with all due submission to the drummer, that here is a +small mistake. Our Canadian brethren may indeed possess great +influence with the Pope, on account of their perseverance in the +Catholic religion; but as all the triremes in his holiness's +possession are unfortunately in bass-relief and marble, we have some +doubt of their utility at sea. + + Light-arm'd _evaas_, canoes that seem to fly, + Our faithful _Oberea_ shall supply: + _Gallies_ shall Venice yield. Algiers, _xebecs_-- + But thou, Nanquin, gay _yachts_ with towering decks; + While fierce Kamtschatka------ + +But it is unnecessary to transcribe all the names of places mentioned +by our drummer in sailing eastward towards Cape Horn, and westward to +the Cape of Good Hope. We flatter ourselves that we have sufficiently +proved the stupendous and almost unnatural excellence of the new +Lord Buckingham; and that we have shewn the necessity of innovation in +the navy as well as in the constitution; we therefore shall conclude +this number, by expressing our hope and assurance, that the salutary +amputations which are meditated by the two state surgeons, Mr. Pitt, +and Mr. Wyvill, will speedily be followed by equally skilful +operations in our marine; and that the prophecy of the dying drummer +will be fulfilled in the completion of that delightful event--the +nomination of the noble Marquis to the department of the admiralty! + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER III._ + +Having concluded his description of the Marquis of Buckingham, +our expiring prophet proceeds to the contemplation of other glories, +hardly less resplendent than those of the noble Marquis himself. +He goes on to the DUKE of RICHMOND. + +In travelling round this wide world of virtue, for as such may the +mind of the noble Duke be described, it must be obvious to every one, +that the principal difficulty consists--in determining from what +quarter to set out; whether to commence in the _frigid zone_ of his +benevolence, or in the _torrid hemisphere_ of his loyalty; from the +_equinox_ of his oeconomy, or from the _terra australis_ of his +patriotism. Our author feels himself reduced to the dilemma of the +famous _Archimedes_ in this case, though for a very different reason, +and exclaims violently for the {Dos pou sto}, not because he has no +ground to stand upon, but because he has too much--because puzzled by +the variety, he feels an incapacity to make a selection. He represents +himself as being exactly in the situation of _Paris_ between the +different and contending charms of the three _Heathen Goddesses_, and +is equally at a loss on which to bestow his _detur pulcherimae_. There +is indeed more beauty in this latter similitude than may at first view +appear to a careless and vulgar observer: the three goddesses in +question being, in all the leading points of their description, most +correctly typical of the noble Duke himself. As for example--_Minerva_, +we know, was produced out of the head of _Jove_, complete and perfect +at once. Thus the Duke of Richmond starts into the perfection of a +full-grown _engineer_, without the ceremony of gradual organization, +or the painful tediousness of progressive maturity.--_Juno_ was +particularly famed for an unceasing spirit of active persecution +against the bravest and most honourable men of antiquity. Col. +_Debbeige_, and some other individuals of modern time, might be +selected, to shew that the noble Duke is not in this respect without +some pretensions to sympathy with the queen of the skies.--_Venus_ +too, we all know, originated from _froth_. For resemblance in this +point, _vide_ the noble Duke's admirable theories on the subject of +_parliamentary melioration_. + +Having stated these circumstances of embarrassment in a few +introductory lines to this part of the poem, our author goes on +to observe, that not knowing, after much and anxious thought, how to +adjust the important difficulty in question, he resolves at last to +trust himself entirely to the guidance of his muse, who, under the +influence of her usual inspiration, proceeds as follows: + + Hail thou, for either talent justly known, + To spend the nation's cash--or keep thy own; + Expert alike to save, or be profuse, + As money goes for thine, or England's use; + In whose esteem, of equal worth are thought, + A public million, and a private groat. + Hail, and--&c. + +_Longinus_, as the learned well know, reckons the figure +_Amplification_ amongst the principal sources of the sublime, as does +_Quintilian_ amongst the leading requisites of rhetoric. That it +constitutes the very soul of eloquence, is demonstrable from the +example of that sublimest of all orators, and profoundest of all +statesman, Mr. _William Pitt_. If no expedient had been devised, by +the help of which the _same_ idea could be invested in a thousand +different and glittering habiliments, by which _one_ small spark of +meaning could be inflated into a blaze of elocution, how many +delectable speeches would have been lost to the Senate of Great +Britain? How severe an injury would have been sustained to the +literary estimation of the age? The above admirable specimen of the +figure, however, adds to the other natural graces of it, the excellent +recommendation of strict and literal truth. The author proceeds to +describe the noble Duke's uncommon popularity, and to represent, that +whatever be his employment, whether the gay business of the state, or +the serious occupation of amusement, his Grace is alike sure of the +approbation of his countrymen. + + Whether thy present vast ambition be + To check the rudeness of the' intruding sea; + Or else, immerging in a _civil_ storm, + With equal wisdom to project--reform; + Whether thou go'st while summer suns prevail, + To enjoy the freshness of thy kitchen's gale, + Where, unpolluted by luxurious heat, + Its large expanse affords a cool retreat; + Or should'st thou now, no more the theme of mirth, + Hail the great day that gave thy sov'reign birth, + With kind anticipating zeal prepare, + And make the _fourth_ of _June_ thy anxious care; + O! wheresoe'er thy hallow'd steps shall stray + Still, still, for thee, the grateful poor shall pray, + Since all the bounty which thy heart denies, + Drain'd by thy schemes, the _treasury_ supplies. + +The reference to the noble Duke's kitchen, is a most exquisite +compliment to his Grace's well-known and determined aversion to the +specious, popular, and prevailing vices of _eating_ and _drinking_; +and the four lines which follow, contain a no less admirable allusion +to the memorable witticism of his Grace (memorable for the subject of +it, as well as for the circumstance of its being the only known +instance of his Grace's attempting to degrade himself into the +vulgarity of joke). + +When a minister was found in this country daring and wicked enough to +propose the suspension of a turnpike bill for one whole day, simply +for the reason, that he considered some little ceremony due to the +natal anniversary of the _highest_, and beyond all comparison, the +_best_ individual in the country; what was the noble Duke's reply to +this frivolous pretence for the protraction of the national business? +"What care I," said this great personage, with a noble warmth of +patriotic insolence, never yet attained by any of the present +timid-minded sons of faction, "What care I for the King's birthday!--What +is such nonsense to me!" &c. &c. &c. It is true, indeed, times have been +a little changed since--but what of that! there is a solid truth in +the observation of Horace, which its tritism does not, nor cannot +destroy, and which the noble Duke, if he could read the original, +might with great truth, apply to himself and his sovereign: + + Tempora mutantur, et nos mutamur in illis. + +A great critic affirms, that the highest excellence of writing, and +particularly of poetical writing, consists in this one power--to +_surprise_. Surely this sensation was never more successfully excited, +than by the line in the above passage, when considered as addressed +to the Duke of Richmond-- + + Still, still, for thee, the _grateful poor_ shall pray! + +Our author, however, whose correct judgment suggested to him, that +even the sublimity of surprise was not to be obtained at the expence +of truth and probability, hastens to reconcile all contradictions, by +informing the reader, that the _treasury_ is to supply the sources of +the charity, on account of which the noble Duke is to be prayed for. + +The poet, with his usual philanthropy, proceeds to give a piece +of good advice to a person, with whom he does not appear at first +sight to have any natural connexion. He contrives, however, +even to make his seeming digression contribute to his purpose. +He addresses _Colonel Debbeige_ in the following goodnatured, +sublime and parental apostrophe-- + + Learn, thoughtless _Debbeige_, now no more a youth, + The woes unnumber'd that encompass truth. + Nor of experience, nor of knowledge vain, + Mock the chimaeras of a sea-sick brain: + Oh, learn on happier terms with him to live, + Who ne'er knew _twice_, the weakness to forgive! + Then should his grace some vast expedient find, + To govern tempests, and controul the wind; + Should he, like great _Canute_, forbid the wave, + T'approach his presence, or his foot to lave; + Construct some bastion, or contrive some mound, + The world's wide limits to encompass round; + Rear a redoubt, that to the stars should rise, + And lift himself, like Typhon, to the skies; + Or should the mightier scheme engage his soul, + To raise a platform on the _northern pole_, + With foss, with rampart, stick, and stone, and clay, + To build a breast-work on the _milky-way_, + Or to protect his sovereign's blest abode, + Bid numerous batteries guard the _turnpike road_; + Lest foul Invasion in disguise approach, + Or Treason lurk within the _Dover_ coach. + Oh, let the wiser duty then be thine, + Thy skill, thy science, judgment to resign! + With patient ear, the high-wrapt tale attend, + Nor snarl at fancies which no skill can mend. + So shall thy comforts with thy days increase, + And all thy last, unlike thy first, be peace; + No rude _courts martial_ shall thy fame decry, + But half-pay plenty all thy wants supply. + +It is difficult to determine which part of the above passage possesses +the superior claim to our admiration, whether its science, its +resemblance, its benevolence, or its sublimity.--Each has its turn, +and each is distinguished by some of our author's happiest touches. +The climax from the pole oft the heavens to the pole of a coach, and +from the milky-way to a turnpike road, is conceived and exprest with +admirable fancy and ability. The absurd story of the wooden horse in +Virgil, is indeed remotely parodied in the line, + + Or Treason lurk within the Dover coach, + +but with what accession of beauty, nature, and probability, we leave +judicious critics to determine. Indeed there is no other defence for +the passage alluded to in _Virgil_, but to suppose that the past +commentators upon it have been egregiously mistaken, and that this +famous _equus ligneus_, of which he speaks, was neither more nor less +than the _stage coach_ of antiquity. What, under any other +supposition, can be the meaning of the passage + + Aut hoc inclusi ligno occultantur _Achivi?_ + +Besides this, the term _machina_ we know is almost constantly used by +_Virgil_ himself as a synonyme for this horse, as in the line + + _Scandit fatalis_ machina _muros_, &c. + +And do we not see that those authentic records of modern literature, +the newspapers, are continually and daily announcing to us--"This day +sets off from the Blue-boar Inn, precisely at half past five, the Bath +and Bristol _machine_!" meaning thereby merely the _stage coaches_ to +Bath and to Bristol. Again, immediately after the line last quoted (to +wit, _scandit fatalis machina muros)_ come these words, + + _Faeta armis_, i.e. filled with _arms_. + +Now what can they possibly allude to, in the eye of sober judgment and +rational criticism, but the _guard_, or armed _watchman_, who, in +those days, went in the inside, or perhaps had a place in the _boot_, +and was employed, as in our modern conveyances, to protect the +passenger in his approximation to the metropolis. We trust the above +authorities will be deemed conclusive upon the subject; and indeed, to +say the truth, this idea does not occur to us now for the first time, +as in some hints for a few critical lucubrations intended as farther +_addenda_ to the _Virgilius Restauratus_ of the great Scriblerus, we +find this remark precisely:--"In our judgment, this horse (meaning +_Virgil_'s) may be very properly denominated--the DARDANIAN DILLY, or +the POST COACH to PERGAMUS." + +We know not whether it be worth adding as a matter of mere fact, +that the great object of the noble Duke's erections at Chatham, +which have not yet cost the nation a _million_, is simply and +exclusively this--to _enfilade_ the turnpike road, in case of a +foreign invasion. + +The poet goes on--he forms a scientific and interesting presage of +the noble Duke's future greatness. + + With gorges, scaffolds, breaches, ditches, mines, + With culverins, whole and demi, and gabines; + With trench, with counterscarp, with esplanade, + With curtain, moat, and rhombo, and chamade; + With polygon, epaulement, hedge and bank, + With angle salient, and with angle flank: + Oh! thou shall prove, should all thy schemes prevail, + An UNCLE TOBY on a larger scale. + While dapper, daisy, prating, puffing JIM, + May haply personate good _Corporal Trim_. + +Every reader will anticipate us in the recollection, that the person +here honoured with our author's distinction, by the abbreviated +appellative of _Jim_, can be no other than the Hon. James Luttrel +himself, surveyor-general to the ordnance, the famous friends, +defender, and _commis_ of the Duke of Richmond. The words _dapper_ and +_daisy_, in the last line of the above passage, approximate perhaps +more nearly to the familiarity of common life, than is usual with our +author; but it is to be observed in the defence of them, that our +language supplies no terms in any degree so peculiarly characteristic +of the object to whom they are addressed. As for the remaining part of +the line, to wit, "_prating, puffing Jim_," it will require no +vindication or illustration with those who have heard this honourable +gentleman's speeches in parliament, and who have read the subsequent +representations of them in the diurnal prints. + +Our immortal author, whose province it is to give poetical +construction, and _local habitation_ to the inspired effusions of the +_dying drummer_ (exactly as _Virgil_ did to the predictions of +_Anchises_), proceeds to finish the portrait exhibited in the above +passage by the following lines-- + + As like your _prototypes_ as pea to pea, + Save in the weakness of--_humanity_; + Congenial quite in every other part, + The same in _head_, but differing in the heart. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER IV._ + +We resume with great pleasure our critical lucubrations on that most +interesting part of this divine poem, which pourtrays the character, +and transmits to immortality the name of the _Duke of_ RICHMOND.--Our +author, who sometimes condescends to a casual imitation of ancient +writers, employs more than usual pains in the elaborate delineation of +this illustrious personage. Thus, in Virgil, we find whole pages +devoted to the description of _AEneas_, while _Glacus_ and +_Thersilochus_, like the _Luttrels_, the _Palkes_, or the _Macnamaras_ +of modern times, are honoured only with the transient distinction of a +simple mention. He proceeds to ridicule the superstition which exists +in this country, and, as he informs us, had also prevailed in one of +the most famous states of antiquity, that a navy could be any source +of security to a great empire, or that shipping could in any way be +considered as the _natural_ defence of an _island_. + + Th' Athenian sages, once of old, 'tis said, + Urg'd by their country's love--by wisdom led, + Besought the _Delphic_ oracle to show + What best should save them from the neighb'ring foe + --With holy fervor first the _priestess_ burn'd, + Then fraught with presage, this reply return'd: + "_Your city, men of Athens, ne'er will fall, + If wisely guarded by a_ WOODEN WALL." + --Thus have our fathers indiscreetly thought, + By ancient practice--ancient safety taught, + That this, Great Britain, still should prove to thee + Thy first, thy best, thy last security; + That what in thee we find or great or good, + Had ow'd its being to this WALL of WOOD.-- + Above such weakness see great _Lenox_ soar, + This fence prescriptive guards us now no more + Of such gross ignorance asham'd and sick, + Richmond protects us with a _wall--of brick_; + Contemns the prejudice of former time, + And saves his countrymen by _lath_ and _lime_. + +It is our intention to embarrass this part of the _Rolliad_ as little +as possible with any commentaries of our own. We cannot, however, +resist the temptation which the occasion suggests, of pronouncing +a particular panegyric upon the delicacy as well as dexterity of our +author, who, in speaking upon the subject of the Duke of _Richmond_, +that is, upon a man who knows no more of the history, writings, +or languages of antiquity than the _Marquis of Lansdown_ himself, +or great _Rollo_'s groom, has yet contrived to collect a great portion +of his illustrations from the sources of ancient literature. By this +admirable expedient, the immediate ignorance of the hero is inveloped +and concealed in the vast erudition of the author, and the unhappy +truth that his Grace never proceeded farther in his _Latinity_, than +through the neat and simple pages of _Corderius_, is so far thrown +into the back ground as to be hardly observable, and to constitute no +essential blemish to the general brilliancy of the _picture_. + +The poet proceeds to speak of a tribunal which was instituted in the +_aera_ he is describing, for an investigation into the professional +merits of the noble Duke, and of which he himself was very properly +the head. The author mentions the individuals who composed this +inquisition, as men of _opulent, independent, disinterested_ +characters, three only excepted, whom he regrets as apostates to the +general character of the arbitrators. He speaks, however--such is the +omnipotence of truth--even of them, with a sort of reluctant tendency +to panegyric. He says, + + Keen without show, with modest learning, sly, + The subtle comment speaking in his eye; + Of manners polish'd, yet of stubborn soul, + Which Hope allures not--nor which fears control; + See _Burgoyne_ rapt in all a soldier's pride, + Damn with a shrug, and with a look deride; + While coarse _Macbride_ a busier task assumes, + And tears with graceless rage our hero's plumes; + Blunts his rude science in the _chieftain_'s face, + Nor deems--forgive him, _Pitt!_--a truth, disgrace: + And _Percy_ too, of lineage justly vain, + Surveys the system with a mild disdain. + +He consoles the reader, however, for the pain given him by the +contemplation of such weakness and injustice, by hastening to +inform him of the better and wiser dispositions of the other members +of the tribunal; + + --But ah! not so the rest--unlike to these, + They try each anxious blandishment to please; + No skill uncivil e'er from them escapes, + Their modest wisdom courts no dang'rous scrapes; + But pure regard comes glowing from the heart, + To take a friend's--to take a master's part; + Nor let Suspicion with her sneers convey, + That paltry Int'rest could with such bear sway. + Can _Richmond_'s brother be attach'd to gold? + Can _Luttrell_'s friendship, like a vote, be sold? + O can such petty, such ignoble crimes, + Stain the fair _aera_ of these golden times, + When _Pitt_ to all perfection points the way, + And pure _Dundas_ exemplifies his lay? + When _Wilkes_ to loyalty makes bold pretence, + _Arden_ to law, the _Cabinet_ to sense; + When _Prettyman_ affects for truth a zeal, + And _Macnamaras_ guard the common-weal; + When _lawyers_ argue from the holy writ, + And _Hill_ would vie with _Sheridan_ in wit; + When _Camden_, first of Whigs, in struggles past, + _Teiz'd_ and _tormented_ quits the cause at last; + When _Thurlow_ strives commercial skill to show, + And even _Sydney_ something seems to know; + When honest _Jack_ declines in men to trade, + And court majorities by truth are sway'd; + When _Baker, Conway, Cavendish, or Byng_, + No more an obloquy o'er senates fling; + When------ + +But where could a period be put to the enumeration of the _uncommon_ +appearances of the epoch in question?--The application of the term +_honest_, prefixed to the name of the person described in the last +line of the above passage but three, sufficiently circumscribes the +number of those particular _Jacks_ who were at this moment in the +contemplation of our author, and lets us with facility into the secret +that he could mean no other than the worthy Mr. _John Robinson_ +himself.--The peculiar species of traffic that the poet represents +Mr. Robinson to have dealt in, is supposed to allude to a famous +occurrence of these times, when Mr. R. and another contractor agreed, +in a ministerial emergency, to furnish government with _five hundred +and fifty-eight_ ready, willing, obedient, well-trained men, at so +much per head per man, whom they engaged to be _perfectly fit for +any work the minister could put them to_. Tradition says, they failed +in their contract by somewhat about _two hundred_.--We have not heard +of what particular complexion the first order were of, but suppose +them to have been _blacks_. + +We collect from history, that the noble Duke had been exposed to +much empty ridicule on account of his having been, as they termed it, +a judge in his own cause, by being the President of that Court, +whose exclusive jurisdiction it was to enquire into supposed official +errors imputed to himself. The author scouts the venom of those +impotent gibers, and with great triumph exclaims, + + If it be virtue but yourself to _know_, + Yourself to _judge_, is sure a virtue too. + +Nothing can be more obvious--all judgment depends upon knowledge; +and how can any other person be supposed to know a man so well as he +does himself? We hope soon to see this evidently equitable principle +of criminal jurisprudence fully established at the _Old Baily_; and we +are very much inclined to think, that if every _house-breaker, &c._ +was in like manner permitted to judge himself, the susceptible heart +would not be altogether so often shocked with spectacles of human +massacre before the gates of Newgate, as, to the great disgrace of our +penal system, it now is. + +Our author now proceeds to speak of a transaction which he seems +to touch upon with reluctance. It respects a young nobleman of these +times, of the name of _Rawdon_. It is very remarkable, that the last +couplet of this passage is printed with a scratch through the lines, +as if it had been the author's intention to have erazed them. Whether +he thought the event alluded to in this distich was too disgraceful +for justification--or that the justification suggested was +incomplete--that the image contained in them was too familiar and +puerile for the general sublimity of his great poem, or whatever he +thought, we know not, but such is the fact. The passage is as +follows:--after relating the circumstance, he says + + Association forms the mind's great chain, + By plastic union many a thought we gain, +[Struck-through: + (Thus _Raw_ suggested _Raw head_, and the _Don_, + Haply reminded him of _Bloody bone)_.] + +To the justice of the disgrace thrown upon the above couplet, we by +no means concede.--What it wants in poetical construction, it amply +makes up in the deep knowledge which it contains of the more latent +feelings of the human heart, and its philosophic detection of some of +the true sources of human action. We all know how long, and how +tenaciously, original prejudices stick by us. No man lives long enough +to get rid of his nursery. That the noble duke therefore might not +be free from the common influence of a very common sensation, no one +can reasonably wonder at, and the best proof that he was not so is, +that we defy any person to show us, upon what possible principle, +if not upon this, the conduct of the noble Duke, in the transaction +alluded to, is to be explained or defended. The Duke of Richmond--a +gentleman by a thousand pretensions--a soldier--a legislator--a +peer--in two countries a duke--in a third a prince--a man whose honour +is not a mere point of speculative courtesy, but is his +_oath_--impeaches the reputation of another individual of pure and +unblemished character; and with the same publicity that he had applied +the original imputation, this peer, prince, legislator, and soldier, +_eats_ every syllable he had said, and retracts every _item_ of his +charge. Is this to be credited without a resort to some principle of a +very paramount nature in the heart of man indeed? Is the original +depravity, in the first instance, of publicly attempting to sully the +fair honour of that interesting and sacred character, a youthful +soldier, or the meanness in the second, of an equally public and +unprecedentedly pusillanimous retraction of the whole of the calumny, +to be believed in so high a personage as the Duke of _Richmond_, +without a reference to a cause of a very peculiar kind, to an impulse +of more than ordinary potency? Evidently not.--And what is there, as +we have before observed, that adheres so closely, or controuls so +absolutely, as the legends of our boyish days, of the superstitions of +a nursery? For these reasons, therefore, we give our most decided +suffrage for the full re-establishment of the couplet to the fair +legitimate honours that are due to it. + +The poet concludes his portrait of this illustrious person, with the +following lines-- + + The triple honours that adorn his head, + A three-fold influence o'er his virtue shed; + As _Gallia_'s prince, behold him proud and vain; + Thrifty and close as _Caledonia_'s thane; + In _Richmond_'s duke, we trace our own JOHN BULL, + Of schemes enamour'd--and of schemes--the GULL. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER V._ + +The author of the Rolliad has, in his last edition, introduced so +considerable an alteration, that we should hold ourselves inexcusable, +after the very favourable reception our commentaries have been +honoured with, in omitting to seize the earliest opportunity of +pointing it out to the public. + +Finding the variety and importance of the characters he is called upon +to describe, likely to demand a greater portion both of time and words +than an expiring man can be reasonably supposed to afford, instead of +leaving the whole description of that illustrious assembly, of which +the dying drummer has already delineated some of the principal +ornaments, to the same character, he has made an addition to the +vision in which the House of Commons is represented, at the conclusion +of the Sixth Book, by contriving that the lantern of Merlin should be +shifted in such a manner, as to display at once to the eager eye of +Rollo, the whole interior of the Upper House; to gain a seat in which +the hero immediately expresses a laudable impatience, as well as a +just indignation, on beholding persons, far less worthy than himself, +among those whom the late very numerous creations prevent our +calling-- + + ----_pauci--quos aequus amavit + Jupiter_-- + +With still less propriety, perhaps we should add-- + + --_Aut ardens evexit ad aethera virtus._ VIRG. + +The hero's displeasure is thus forcibly described: + + Zounds! quoth great _Rollo_, with indignant frown, + 'Mid British nobles shall a base-born clown, + With air imperious ape a monarch's nod, + Less fit to sit there than my groom, by G-d[1]? + +Longinus, in his chapter on interrogations, proves them to be a source +of the sublime. They are, indeed, says Dr. Young, the proper style of +majesty incensed. Where, therefore, can they be with more propriety +introduced, than from the mouth of our offended hero? Merlin, after +sympathizing with him in the justice of these feelings, proceeds to +a description of the august assembly they are viewing. The author's +reverence for the religion of his country naturally disposes him first +to take notice of the spiritual lords of Parliament-- + + Yon rev'rend prelates, rob'd in sleeves of lawn, + Too meek to murmur, and too proud to fawn, + Who still submissive to their Maker's nod, + Adore their sov'reign, and respect their God; + And wait, good men! all worldly things forgot, + In humble hope of Enoch's happy lot. + +We apprehend that the fourth line, by an error in the press, the words +"adore and respect," must have been misplaced; but our veneration for +our author will not permit us to hazard even the slightest alteration +of the text. The happy ambiguity of the word "Maker," is truly +beautiful. + +We are sorry, however, to observe, that modern times afford some +instances of exceptions to the above description, as well as one +very distinguished one, indeed, to that which follows of the sixteen +Peers of Scotland:-- + + Alike in loyalty, alike in worth, + Behold the sixteen nobles of the north; + Fast friends to monarchy, yet sprung from those + Who basely sold their monarch to his foes; + Since which, atoning for their father's crime, + The sons, as basely, sell themselves to him: + With ev'ry change prepar'd to change their note, + With ev'ry government prepar'd to vote, + Save when, perhaps, on some important bill, + They know, by second sight, the royal will; + With royal _Denbigh_ hearing birds that sing, + "Oppose the minister to please the king." + +These last lines allude to a well authenticated anecdote, which +deserves to be recorded as an instance of the interference of divine +Providence in favour of this country, when her immediate destruction +was threatened by the memorable India bill, so happily rejected by +the House of Lords in the year 1783. + +The Earl of _Denbigh_, a Lord of his Majesty's Bed-chamber, being +newly married, and solacing himself at his country-seat in the sweats +of matrimonial bliss, to his great astonishment heard, on a winter's +evening, in the cold month of December, a nightingale singing in +the woods. Having listened with great attention to so extraordinary +a phoenomenon, it appeared to his Lordship that the bird distinctly +repeated the following significant words, in the same manner that +the bells of London admonished the celebrated Whittington, + + "Throw out the India bill; + Such is your master's will." + +His Lordship immediately communicated this singular circumstance +to the fair partner of his connubial joys, who, for the good of +her country, patriotically, though reluctantly, consented to forego +the newly tasted delights of wedlock, and permitted her beloved +bridegroom to set out for London, where his Lordship fortunately +arrived in time, to co-operate with the rest of his noble and +honourable brethren, the lords of the king's bed-chamber, in defeating +that detestable measure; a measure calculated to effect the immediate +ruin of this country, by overthrowing the happy system of government +which has so long prevailed in our East-India territories.--After +having described the above-mentioned classes of nobility, he proceeds +to take notice of the admirable person who so worthily presides in +this august assembly:-- + + The rugged _Thurlow_, who with sullen scowl, + In surly mood, at friend and foe will growl; + Of proud prerogative, the stern support, + Defends the entrance of great _George_'s court + 'Gainst factious Whigs, lest they who stole the seal, + The sacred diadem itself should steal: + So have I seen near village butcher's stall + (If things so great may be compar'd with small) + A mastiff guarding, on a market day, + With snarling vigilance, his master's tray. + +The fact of a desperate and degraded faction having actually broken +into the dwelling-house of the Lord High Chancellor, and carried off +the great seal of England, is of equal notoriety and authenticity +with that of their having treacherously attempted, when in power, +to transfer the crown of Great-Britain from the head of our most +gracious sovereign to that of their ambitious leader, so justly +denominated the Cromwell of modern times. + +While our author is dwelling on events which every Englishman must +recollect with heart-felt satisfaction, he is naturally reminded of +that excellent nobleman, whose character he has, in the mouth of +the dying drummer, given more at large, and who bore so meritorious +a share in that happy revolution which restored to the sovereign of +these kingdoms the right of nominating his own servants; a right +exercised by every private gentleman in the choice of his butler, +cook, coachman, footman, &c. but which a powerful and wicked +aristocratic combination endeavoured to circumscribe in the monarch, +with respect to the appointment of ministers of state. Upon this +occasion he compares the noble Marquis to the pious hero of the AEneid, +and recollects the description of his conduct during the conflagration +of Troy; an alarming moment, not unaptly likened to that of the +Duke of Portland's administration, when his Majesty, like king Priam, +had the misfortune of seeing + + ----_Medium in penctralibus hostem._ VIRG. + +The learned reader will bear in mind the description of AEneas:-- + + _Limen aerat, caecoque fores, &c._ VIRG. + + When _Troy_ was burning, and the' insulting foe + Had well-nigh laid her lofty bulwarks low, + The good AEneas, to avert her fate, + Sought _Priam_'s palace through a _postern_ gate: + Thus when the Whigs, a bold and factious band, + Had snatch'd the sceptre from their sovereign's hand, + Up the _back-stairs_ the virtuous _Grenville_ sneaks, + To rid the closet of those worse than _Greeks_, + Whose impious tongues audaciously maintain, + That for their subjects, kings were born to reign. + +The abominable doctrines of the republican party are here held forth +in their genuine colours, to the detestation of all true lovers of +our happy constitution. The magician then thinks fit to endeavour to +pacify the hero's indignation, which we before took notice of, +on seeing persons less worthy than himself preferred to the dignity +of peerage, by the mention of two of those newly created, whose +promotion equally reflects the highest honour upon government. + + _Lonsdale_ and _Camelford_ thrice honour'd names! + Whose god-like bosoms glow with patriot flames: + To serve his country, at her utmost need, + By this, behold a ship of war decreed; + While that, impell'd by all a convert's zeal, + Devotes his borough to the public weal. + But still the wise their second thoughts prefer, + Thus both our patriots on these gifts demur; + Ere yet she's launch'd the vessel runs aground, + And _Sarum_ sells for twice three thousand pound. + +The generous offers of those public-spirited noblemen, the one during +the administration of the Marquis of Landsdown, proposing to build +a seventy-four-gun ship, for the public service; the other on +Mr. Pitt's motion for a parliamentary reform, against which he had +before not only voted, but written a pamphlet, declaring his readiness +to make a present of his burgage tenure borough of Old Sarum to the +bank of England, are too fresh in the recollection of their grateful +countrymen to need being here recorded. With respect, however, to the +subsequent sale of the borough for the "twice three thousand pounds," +our author does not himself seem perfectly clear, since we afterwards +meet with these lines: + + Say, what gave _Camelford_ his wish'd-for rank? + Did he devote _Old Sarum_ to the Bank? + Or did he not, that envied rank to gain, + Transfer the victim to the Treas'ry's fame? + +His character of the Earl of Lonsdale is too long to be here inserted, +but is perhaps one of the most finished parts of the whole poem: +we cannot, however, refrain from transcribing the four following +lines, on account of the peculiar happiness of their expression. The +reader will not forget the declaration of this great man, that he was +in possession of the land, the fire, and the water, of the town +of Whitehaven. + + E'en by the elements his pow'r confess'd, + Of mines and boroughs _Lonsdale_ stands possess'd; + And one sad servitude alike denotes + The slave that labours, and the slave that votes. + +Our paper now reminds us that it is time to close our observations +for the present, which we shall do with four lines added by our author +to the former part of the sixth book, in compliment to his favourite, +the Marquis of Graham, on his late happy marriage. + + With joy _Britannia_ sees her fav'rite goose + Fast bound and _pinion'd_ in the nuptial noose; + Presaging fondly from so fair a mate, + A brood of goslings, cackling in debate. + +[1] See Mr. Rolle's speech in the parliamentary debates. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VI._ + +Our _dying drummer_, in consequence of his extraordinary exertions in +delineating those exalted personages, the MARQUIS OF BUCKINGHAM and +DUKE OF RICHMOND; exertions which we think we may venture to pronounce +unparalleled by any one, drummer, or other, similarly circumstanced; +unfortunately found himself so debilitated, that we were very fearful, +like Balaam's ass, LORD VALLETORT, or any other equally strange +animal, occasionally endowed with speech, his task being executed, +that his mouth would for ever after remain incapable of utterance. + +But though his powers might be suspended, fortunately the + + ----in aeternam clauduntur lumina noctem, + +has, in consequence of the timely relaxation afforded to the wounded +gentleman during the whole of our last number, been for the present +avoided; and, like Mr. PITT's question of parliamentary reform, +adjourned to a more _expedient moment_. + +To our drummer we might say, as well as to our matchless premier, + + Larga quidem DRANCE, semper tibi copia fandi, + +which, though, some malevolent critics might profligately translate + + "There is no end to thy prosing," + +those who have read our drummer's last dying words, or heard our +minister's new made speeches, will admit to be in both instances +equally inapplicable. + +The natural powers of our author here again burst forth with such +renovated energy, that, like the swan, his music seems to increase +as his veins become drained. + +Alluding to an event too recent to require elucidation, after +describing the virtues of the most amiable personage in the kingdom, +and more particularly applauding her charity, which he says is so +unbounded, that it + + ------Surmounts dull Nature's ties, + Nor even to WINCHELSEA a smile denies. + +He proceeds + + And thou too, LENOX! worthy of thy name! + Thou heir to RICHMOND, and to RICHMOND's fame! + On equal terms, when BRUNSWICK deign'd to grace + The spurious offspring of the STUART race; + When thy rash arm design'd her favorite dead, + The christian triumph'd, and the mother fled: + No rage indignant shook her pious frame, + No partial doating swayed the saint-like dame; + But spurn'd and scorn'd where Honor's sons resort, + Her friendship sooth'd thee, in thy monarch's court. + +How much does this meek resignation, in respect to COLONEL LENOX, +appear superior to the pagan rage of MEZENTIUS towards AENEAS, +on somewhat of a similar occasion, when, instead of desiring him +to dance a minuet at the Etrurian court, he savagely, and of malice +prepense, hurls his spear at the foe of his son, madly exclaiming + + --Jam venio moriturus et haec tibi porto + Dona prius. + +But our author excels Virgil, as much as the amiable qualities of +the great personage described, exceed those of MEZENTIUS: that august +character instead of dying, did not so much as faint; and so far +from hurling a spear at Mr. LENOX, she did not cast at him even +an angry glance. + + The christian triumph'd, &c. + +We are happy in noticing this line, and indeed the whole of the +passage, on another account, as it establishes the orthodoxy of the +drummer upon so firm a basis, that DR. HORSLEY himself could scarcely +object to his obtaining a seat in parliament. + +There is something so extremely ingenious in the following lines, +and they account too on such rational grounds for a partiality that +has puzzled so many able heads, that we cannot forbear transcribing +them. + +Apostrophizing the exalted personage before alluded to, he says, + + Early you read, nor did the advice deride, + Suspicion ne'er should taint a CAESAR's bride; + And who in spotless purity so fit + To guard an honest wife's good fame, as PITT. + +The beautiful compliment here introduced to the chastity of our +immaculate premier, from the pen of such an author, must give him +the most supreme satisfaction. And + + O decus Italiae virgo!!! + +Long mayst thou continue to deserve it!!! + +From treating of the minister's virgin innocence, our author, by a +very unaccountable transition, proceeds to a family man, namely, +the modern MAECENAS, the CENSOR MORUM, the ARBITER ELEGANTIARUM +of Great Britain; in a word, to the most illustrious JAMES CECIL +EARL OF SALISBURY, and lord chamberlain to his majesty, whom, +in a kind of episode he thus addresses, + + Oh! had the gods but kindly will'd it so + That thou had'st lived two hundred years ago: + Had'st thou then rul'd the stage, from sportive scorn + Thy prudent care had guarded peers unborn. + No simple chamberlains had libell'd been, + No OSTRICKS fool'd in SHAKESPEARE's saucy scene. + +But then wisely recollecting this not to be altogether the most +friendly of wishes, in as much, that, if his lordship had been +chamberlain to QUEEN ELIZABETH, he could not, in the common course +of events, have been, as his honour SIR RICHARD PEPPER ARDEN most +sweetly sings in his PROBATIONARY ODE, + + "The tallest, fittest man to go before the king," + +In the days of GEORGE THE THIRD; by which we should most probably +not only have been deprived of the attic entertainments of SIGNORS +DELPINI and CARNEVALE, but perhaps too have lost some of our best +dramatic writers; such as GREATHEAD, HAYLEY, DR. STRATFORD, and +TOMMY VAUGHAN: our author, with a sudden kind of repentance, says, + + But hence fond thoughts, nor be by passion hurried! + Had he then lived, he now were dead and buried. + Not now should theatres his orders own; + Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn. + +If we might be so presumptuous as to impute a fault to our author, +we should say that he is rather too fond of what the French style +_equivoque_.--This partiality of his breaks forth in a variety of +places; such as SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY being + + ------a knowing man in _grain_, + ------MARTIN's _sterling_ sense, &c. &c. + +In the present instance too, where, supposing the noble Marquis +to have lived two hundred years ago, he says, + + "Not now should theatres his _orders_ own." + +He leaves us completely in the dark, whether by the word _orders_, +we are to understand his lordship's commands as _theatrical +anatomist_, or the _recommendations_, which he is pleased to make to +the managers of our public amusements, to admit his dependants and +servants gratuitously; and which recommendations in the vulgar tongue +of the theatres are technically styled _orders_. If we might hazard +an opinion, from the known condescension of his lordship, and his +attention to the accommodation of his inferiors, we should be inclined +to construe it in the latter sense; an attention, indeed, which, +in the case in question, is said to be so unbounded, that he might +exclaim with AENEAS + + Nemo ex hoc numero mihi non donatus abibit. + +Should any caviler here object, that for every five shillings thus +generously bestowed on the dependant, a proportionate _vacuum_ is +made in the pocket of the manager, let him recollect, that it is +a first and immutable principle of civil policy, that _the convenience +of the few must yield to the accommodation of the many_; and, that +the noble Marquis, as a peer and legislator of Great Britain, +is too closely attached to our excellent constitution to swerve +from so old and established a maxim. + +With respect to the last line of the couplet, + + "Not now in alehouse signs his face be shewn," + +we must confess that our author's imagination has here been rather +too prurient.--His lordship's head does not, as far as we can learn, +upon the most minute enquiry, _at present_, grace any alehouse +whatever--It was indeed for some little time displayed at HATFIELD in +HERTS; but the words "_Good entertainment within_," being written +under it, they were deemed by travellers so extremely unapposite, that +to avoid further expence, LORD SALISBURY's head was taken down, and +"_The old bald face Stag_" resumed its pristine station. + +Yet, enraptured with his first idea, our author soon forgets his late +reflection, and proceeds on the supposition of the noble lord having +exercised his pruning knife upon SHAKESPEARE and JOHNSON, and the +advantages which would have been derived from it, some of which he +thus beautifully describes: + + To plays should RICHMOND then undaunted come, + Secured from listening to PAROLLES's drum: + Nor shouldst thou, CAMELFORD, the fool reprove, + Who lost a world to gain a wanton's love. + "Give me a horse," CATHCART should ne'er annoy: + Nor thou, oh! PITT, behold the angry boy. + +The last line but one of these, + + Give me a horse, &c. + +seems to allude to a circumstance that occurred in America, where his +lordship being on foot, and having to march nearly five miles over +a sandy plain in the heat of summer, fortunately discovered, tied to +the door of a house, a horse belonging to an officer of cavalry. +His lordship thinking that riding was pleasanter than walking, +and probably also imagining that the owner might be better engaged, +judged it expedient to avail himself of this steed, which thus so +fortunately presented itself, and accordingly borrowed it. The +subsequent apology, however, which he made when the proprietor, rather +out of humour at his unlooked-for pedestrian expedition, came up to +reclaim his lost goods, was so extremely ample, that the most rigid +asserter of the old fusty doctrines of _meum_ and _tuum_ cannot deny +that the dismounted cavalier had full compensation for any +inconvenience that he might have experienced. And we must add, that +every delicacy of the noble lord on this subject ought now to +terminate. + +We shall conclude with an extract from some complimentary verses by +a noble secretary, who is himself both an AMATEUR and ARTISTE.--Were +any thing wanting to our author's fame, this elegant testimony in his +favour must be decisive with every reader of taste. + + Oh! mighty ROLLE, may long thy fame be known! + And long thy virtues in his verse be shewn! + When THURLOW's christian meekness, SYDNEY's sense, + When RICHMOND's valour, HOPETOWN's eloquence, + When HAWKESB'RY's patriotism neglected lie + Intomb'd with CHESTERFIELD's humanity, + When PRETTYMEN, sage guardian of PITT's youth, + Shall lose each claim to honesty and truth, + When each pure blush DUNDAS's cheek can boast, + With ARDEN's law and nose alike are lost, + When grateful ROBINSON shall be forgot, + And not a line be read of MAJOR SCOTT, + When PHIPPS no more shall listening crouds engage, + And HAMLET's jests be rased from memory's page, + When PITT each patriot's joy no more shall prove, + Nor from fond beauty catch the sigh of love, + When even thy sufferings, virtuous chief! shall fade, + And BASSET's horsewhip but appear a shade, + Thy sacred spirit shall effulgence shed + And raise to kindred fame the mighty dead: + Long ages shall admire thy matchless soul, + And children's children lisp the praise of ROLLE. + + * * * * * + +_NUMBER VII._ + +It now only remains for us to perform the last melancholy office +to the dying drummer, and to do what little justice we can to the +very ingenious and striking manner in which our author closes at once +his prophecy and his life. + +It is a trite observation, that the curious seldom hear any good +of themselves; and all epic poets, who have sent their heroes to +conjurors, have, with excellent morality, taught us, that they who +pry into futurity, too often anticipate affliction.--VIRGIL plainly +intimates this lesson in the caution which he puts into the mouth +of ANCHISES, when AENEAS enquires into the future destiny of the +younger MARCELLUS, whose premature death forms the pathetic subject +of the concluding vision in the sixth book of the AENEID: + + "O nate, ingentum lectum ne quaere tuorum." + + "Seek not to know (the ghost replied with tears) + The sorrows of thy sons in future years." + DRYDEN. + +Then, instead of declining any further answer, he very unnecessarily +proceeds to make his son as miserable as he can, by detailing all +the circumstances best calculated to create the most tender +interest.--The revelation of disagreeable events to come, is by our +poet more naturally put into the mouth of an enemy.--After running over +many more noble names than the records of the herald's office afford +us any assistance in tracing, the second sighted Saxon, in the midst +of his dying convulsions, suddenly bursts into a violent explosion +of laughter.--This, of course, excites the curiosity of ROLLO, as it +probably will that of our readers; upon which the drummer insults +his conqueror with rather a long but very lively recital of all +the numerous disappointments and mortifications with which he foresees +that the destinies will affect the virtues of ROLLO's great +descendant, the present illustrious member for Devonshire. He mentions +Mr. ROLLE's many unsuccessful attempts to obtain the honour of the +peerage; alludes to some of the little splenetive escapes into which +even his elevated magnanimity is well known to have been for a moment +betrayed on those trying occasions. We now see all the drift and +artifice of the poet, and why he thought the occasion worthy of making +the drummer so preternaturally long winded, in displaying at full all +the glories of the house of peers; it was to heighten by contrast the +chagrin of ROLLO at finding the doors of this august assembly for ever +barred against his posterity. + +To understand the introductory lines of the following passage, it is +necessary to inform our readers, if they are not already acquainted +with the fact, that somewhere in the back settlements of America, +there is now actually existing an illegitimate batch of little +ROLLE's. + + Though wide should spread thy spurious race around, + In other worlds, which must not yet be found, + While they with savages in forests roam + Deserted, far from their paternal home; + A mightier savage in thy wilds EX-MOOR, + Their well-born brother shall his fate deplore, + By friends neglected, as by foes abhorr'd, + No duke, no marquis, not a simple lord. + Tho' thick as MARGARET's knights with each address, + New peers, on peers, in crouds each other press, + He only finds, of all the friends of PITT, + His luckless head no coronet will fit. + +But what our author seems more particularly to have laboured, is a +passage which he has lately inserted: it relates to the cruel slight +which was shewn to Mr. ROLLE during the late royal progress through +the west.--Who is there that remembers the awful period when the +regency was in suspence, but must at the same time remember the +patriotic, decent, and consistent conduct of Mr. ROLLE? How laudably, +in his parliamentary speeches, did he co-operate to the best of his +power, with the popular pamphlets of the worthy Dr. WITHERS! How nobly +did he display his steady loyalty to the father, while he endeavoured +to shake the future right of the son to the throne of his ancestors! +How brightly did he manifest his attachment to the person of his +MAJESTY, by voting to seclude him in the hour of sickness from the +too distressing presence of his royal brothers and his children; and, +after all, when he could no longer resist the title of the heir +apparent, with what unembarrassed grace did he agree to the address of +his constituents, complimenting the prince on his accession to that +high charge, _to which his_ SITUATION and VIRTUES _so eminently_ +ENTITLED _him:_ yet, even then, with how peculiar a dexterity did Mr. +ROLLE mingle what some would have thought an affront, with his +praises, directly informing his ROYAL HIGHNESS that he had no +confidence whatever in any virtues but those of the minister. But, +alas, how uncertain is the reward of all sublunary merit! Those good +judges who inquired into the literary labours of the pious and +charitable Dr. WITHERS, did not exalt him to that conspicuous post, +which he so justly deserved, and would so well have graced; neither +did one ray of royal favour cheer the loyalty of Mr. ROLLE during +his majesty's visit to DEVONSHIRE; though with an unexampled +liberality, the worthy member had contracted for the fragments of Lord +MOUNT EDGECUMBE's desert, and the ruins of his triumphal arches; had +brought down several of the minister's young friends to personate +virgins in white, sing, and strew flowers along the way; and had +actually dispatched a chaise and four to Exeter, for his old friend +and instructor, _mynheer_ HOPPINGEN VAN CAPERHAGEN, dancing-master and +poet; who had promised to prepare both the _balets_ and _ballads_ for +this glorious festivity. And for whom was Mr. ROLLE neglected? For his +colleague, Mr. BASTARD; a gentleman who, in his political +oscillations, has of late vibrated much more frequently to the +opposition than to the treasury bench. This most unaccountable +preference we are certain must be matter of deep regret to all our +readers of sensibility;--to the drummer it is matter of exultation. + + In vain with such bold spirit shall he speak, + That furious WITHERS shall to him seem meek; + In vain for party urge his country's fate; + To save the church, in vain distract the state; + In loyal duty to the father shewn, + Doubt the son's title to his future throne; + And from the suffering monarch's couch remove + All care fraternal, and all filial love: + Then when mankind in choral praise unite, + Though blind before, see virtues beaming bright; + Yet feigning to confide, distrust evince, + And while he flatters, dare insult his PRINCE. + Vain claims!--when now, the people's sins transferred + On their own heads, mad riot is the word; + When through the west in gracious progress goes + The monarch, happy victor of his woes; + While Royal smiles gild every cottage wall, + _Hope never comes to_ ROLLE, _that comes to all_; + And more with envy to disturb his breast, + BASTARD's glad roof receives the Royal guest. + +Here the drummer, exhausted with this last wonderful exertion, +begins to find his pangs increase fast upon him; and what follows, +for two and thirty lines, is all interrupted with different +interjections of laughter and pain, till the last line, which consists +entirely of such interjections.--Our readers may probably recollect +the well-known line of THOMPSON. + + "OH, SOPHONISBA, SOPHONISBA, OH!" + +Which, by the way, is but a poor plagiarism from SHAKESPEARE: + + "OH, DESDEMONA, DESDEMONA, OH!" + +There is certainly in this line a very pretty change rung in the +different ways of arranging the name and the interjection; but perhaps +there may be greater merit, though of another kind, in the sudden +change of passions which OTWAY has expressed in the dying interjection +of PIERRE: + + "We have deceiv'd the senate--ha! ha! oh!" + +These modern instances, however, fall very short of the admirable +use made of interjections by the ancients, especially the GREEKS, +who did not scruple to put together whole lines of them.--Thus in +the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, besides a great number of hemistics, +we find a verse and a half: + + {"----------Papai. + Papa, papa, papa, papa, papa papai."} + +The harsh and intractable genius of our language will not permit us +to give any adequate idea of the soft, sweet, and innocent sound +of the original.--It may, however, be faithfully, though coarsely, +translated + + "------Alas! + Alack! alack! alack! alack! alack! alas!" + +At the same time, we have -our doubts whether some chastised tastes +may not prefer the simplicity of ARISTOPHANES; though it must not +be concealed, that there are critics who think he meant a wicked +stroke of ridicule at the PHILOCTETES of SOPHOCLES, when, in his +own PLUTUS, he makes his sycophant, at the smell of roast meat, +exclaim-- + + {"Yy, yy, yy, yy, yy, yy!"} + +Which we shall render by an excellent interjection, first coined +from the rich mint of MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, in his incomparable Ode-- + + "Sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff, + sniff, + sniff, sniff." + +But whatever may be the comparative merits of these passages, ancient +and modern, we are confident no future critic will dispute but that +they are all excelled by the following exquisite couplet of our +author: + + Ha! ha!--this soothes me in severest woe; + Ho! ho!--ah! ah!--oh! oh!--ha! ah!--ho!--oh!!! + +We have now seen the drummer quietly inurn'd, and sung our requiem +over his grave: we hope, however, that + + ----He, dead corse, may yet, in complete calf, + Revisit oft the glimpses of the candle, + Making night chearful. + +We had flattered ourselves with the hope of concluding the criticisms +on the ROLLIAD with an ode of Mr. ROLLE himself, written in the +original EX-MOOR dialect; but we have hitherto, owing to the eagerness +with which that gentleman's literary labours are sought after, +unfortunately been unable to procure a copy. The learned Mr. DAINES +BARRINGTON having, however, kindly hinted to us, that he thought +he had once heard Sir JOHN HAWKINS say, that he believed there was +something applicable to a drum in the possession of Mr. STEVENS, +the erudite annotator on SHAKESPEARE, Sir JOSEPH BANKS kindly wrote +to that gentleman; who, upon searching into his manuscripts at +Hampstead, found the following epitaph, which is clearly designed +for our drummer. Mr. STEVENS was so good as to accompany his kind +and invaluable communication with a dissertation to prove that this +FRANCIS of GLASTONBURY, from similarity of style and orthography, +must have been the author of the epitaph which declares that +celebrated outlaw, ROBIN HOOD, to have been a British peer. Mr. PEGGE +too informs us, that the HARLEIAN MISCELLANY will be found to confirm +this idea; and at the same time suggests, whether, as that dignified +character, Mr. WARREN HASTINGS, has declared himself to be descended +from an Earl of HUNTINGDON, and the late Earl and his family have, +through some unaccountable fantasy, as constantly declined the honour +of the affinity, this apparent difference of opinion may not be +accounted for by supposing him to be descended from _that_ Earl?--But, +if we are to imagine any descendants of that exalted character to be +still in existence, with great deference to Mr. PEGGE's better +judgment, might not Sir ALEXANDER HOOD, and his noble brother, from +similarity of name, appear more likely to be descendants of this +celebrated archer? and from him also inherit that skill which the +gallant admiral, on a never to be forgotten occasion, so eminently +displayed in drawing a _long bow?_ We can only now lament, that we +have not room for any minute enquiry into these various hypotheses, +and that we are under the necessity of proceeding to the drummer's +epitaph, and the conclusion of our criticisms. + +[Blackletter: + "A stalwart Saxon here doth lie, + Japeth nat, men of Normandie; + Rollo nought scoft his dyand wordes + Of poynt mo perrand than a swordis. + And leal folk of Englelonde + Shall haven hem yvir mo in honde. + Bot syn that in his life I trowe, + Of shepes skynnes he had ynowe, + For yvir he drommed thereupon: + Now he, pardie, is dede and gone, + May no man chese a shepis skynne + To wrappe his dyand wordes inne." + Od. Frauncis of Glastonbury.] + + + + +POLITICAL ECLOGUES. + + +ROSE; OR, _THE COMPLAINT._ + +ARGUMENT. + +In this Eclogue our Author has imitated the Second of his favourite +Virgil, with more than his usual Precision. The Subject of Mr. ROSE's +COMPLAINT is, that he is left to do the whole Business of the Treasury +during the broiling Heats of Summer, while his Colleague, Mr. STEELE, +enjoys the cool Breezes from the Sea, with Mr. PITT, at +Brighthelmstone. In this the Scholar has improved on the Original of +his great Master, as the Cause of the Distress which he relates is +much more natural. This Eclogue, from some internal Evidence, we +believe to have been written in the Summer of 1785, though there may +be one or two Allusions that have been inserted at a later Period. + + None more than ROSE, amid the courtly ring, + Lov'd BILLY, joy of JENKY and the KING. + But vain his hope to shine in BILLY's eyes; + Vain all his votes, his speeches, and his lies. + STEELE's happier claims the boy's regard engage; 5 + Alike their studies, nor unlike their age: + With STEELE, companion of his vacant hours, + Oft would he seek Brighthelmstone's sea-girt tow'rs; + For STEELE, relinquish Beauty's trifling talk, + With STEELE each morning ride, each evening walk; 10 + Or in full tea-cups drowning cares of state, + On gentler topics urge the mock debate; + On coffee now the previous question move; + Now rise a surplusage of cream to prove; + Pass muffins in Committees of Supply, 15 + And "butter'd toast" amend by adding "dry:" + Then gravely sage, as in St. Stephen's scenes, + With grief more true, propose the Ways and Means; + Or wanting these, unanimous of will, + They negative the leave to bring a bill. 20 + In one sad joy all ROSE's comfort lay; + Pensive he sought the treasury day by day; + There, in his inmost chamber lock'd alone, + To boxes red and green he pour'd his moan + In rhymes uncouth; for Rose, to business bred 25 + A purser's clerk, in rhyme was little read; + Nor, since his learning with his fortunes grew, + Had such vain arts engaged his sober view; + For STOCKDALE's shelves contented to compose + The humbler poetry of lying prose. 30 + O barb'rous BILLY! (thus would he begin) + ROSE and his lies you value not a pin; + Yet to compassion callous as a Turk, + You kill me, cruel, with eternal work. + Now, after six long months of nothing done, 35 + Each to his home, our youthful statesmen run; + The mongrel 'squires, whose votes our Treasury pays, + Now, with their hunters, till the winter graze; + Now e'en the reptiles of the Blue and Buff, + In rural leisure, scrawl their factious stuff; 40 + Already pious HILL, with timely cares, + New songs, new hymns, for harvest-home prepares: + But with the love-lorne beauties, whom I mark + Thin and more thin, parading in the park, + I yet remain; and ply my busy feet 45 + From _Duke-street_ hither, hence to _Downing-street_, + In vain!--while far from this deserted scene, + With happier STEELE you saunter on the Steine. + And for a paltry salary, stript of fees, + Thus shall I toil, while others live at ease? 50 + Better, another summer long, obey + Self-weening LANSDOWNE's transitory sway: + Tho' GRAFTON call'd him proud, I found him kind; + With me he puzzled, and with him I din'd. + Better with FOX in opposition share, 55 + Black tho' he be, and tho' my BILLY fair. + Think, BILLY, think JOHN BULL a tasteless brute, + By black, or fair, decides not the dispute: + Ah! think, how politics resemble chess; + Tho' now the white exult in short success, 60 + One erring move a sad reverse may bring, + The black may triumph, and check-mate our king. + You slight me, BILLY; and but little heed, + What talents I possess, what merits plead; + How in white lies abounds my fertile brain; 65 + And with what forgeries I those lies sustain. + A thousand fictions wander in my mind; + With me all seasons ready forgeries find. + I know the charm by ROBINSON employed, + How to the Treas'ry JACK his rats decoy'd. 70 + Not wit, but malice, PRETTYMAN reveals, + When to my head he argues from my heels. + My skull is not so thick; but last recess + I finish'd a whole pamphlet for the press; + And if by some seditious scribbler maul'd, 75 + The pen of CHALMERS to my aid I call'd, + With PRETTY would I write, tho' judg'd by you; + If all that authors think themselves be true. + O! to the smoky town would BILLY come; + With me draw estimates, or cast a sum; 80 + Pore on the papers which these trunks contain, + Then with red tape in bundles tie again; + Chaste tho' he be, if BILLY cannot sing, + Yet should he play to captivate the KING. + Beneath two Monarchs of the Brunswick line, 85 + In wealth to flourish, and in arms to shine, + Was Britain's boast; 'till GEORGE THE THIRD arose, + In arts to gain his triumphs o'er our foes. + From RAMSAY's pallet, and from WHITEHEAD's lyre, + He sought renown that ages may admire: 90 + And RAMSAY gone, the honours of a name + To REYNOLDS gives, but trusts to WEST for fame: + For he alone, with subtler judgment blest, + Shall teach the world how REYNOLDS yields to WEST. + He too, by merit measuring the meed, 95 + Bids WARTON now to WHITEHEAD's bays succeed; + But, to reward FAUQUIER's illustrious toils, + Reserves the richer half of WHITEHEAD's spoils. + For well the monarch saw with prescient eye, + That WARTON's wants kind OXFORD would supply, 100 + Who, justly liberal to the task uncouth, + Learns from St. JAMES's hard historic truth. + Blest OXFORD! in whose bowers the Laureat sings! + O faithful to the worst, and best of Kings, + Firm to the Right Divine of regal sway, 105 + Though Heav'n and Thou long differ'd where it lay! + Still of preferment be thy Sister Queen! + Thy nobler zeal disdains a thought so mean; + Still in thy German Cousin's martial school, + Be each young hope of BRITAIN train'd to rule; 110 + But thine are honours of distinguishd grace, + Thou once a year shall view thy sovereign's face, + While round him croud thy loyal sons, amaz'd, + To see him stare at tow'rs, by WYATT rais'd. + Yet fear not, OXFORD, lest a monarch's smiles 115 + Lure fickle WYATT from the unfinish'd piles; + To thee shall WYATT still be left in peace, + 'Till ENGLISH ATHENS rival ancient Greece. + For him see CHAMBERS, greatly pretty, draw + Far other plans than ever Grecian saw; 120 + Where two trim dove-cotes rise on either hand, + O'er the proud roofs, whose front adorns the Strand; + While thro' three gateways, like three key-holes spied, + A bowl inverted crowns the distant side. + But music most great GEORGE's cares relieves, 125 + Sage arbiter of minims, and of breves! + Yet not by him is living genius fed, + With taste more frugal he protects the dead; + Not all alike; for, though a Briton born, + He laughs all natal prejudice to scorn; 130 + His nicer ear our barbarous masters pain, + Though PURCELL, our own Orpheus, swell the strain; + And mighty HANDEL, a gigantic name, + Owes to his country half his tuneful fame. + Nor of our souls neglectful, GEORGE provides, 135 + To lead his flocks, his own Right Reverend guides; + Himself makes bishops, and himself promotes, + Nor seeks to influence, tho' he gives, their votes. + Then for a Prince so pious, so refin'd, + An air of HANDEL, or a psalm to grind, 140 + Disdain not, BILLY: for his sovereign's sake + What pains did PAGET with his gamut take! + And to an Earl what rais'd the simple Peer? + What but that gamut, to his Sovereign dear? + O come, my BILLY, I have bought for you 145 + The barrel-organ of a strolling Jew; + Dying, he sold it me at second-hand: + Sev'n stops it boasts, with barrels at command. + How at my prize did envious UXBRIDGE fume, + Just what he wish'd for his new music-room. 150 + Come, BILLY, come. Two wantons late I dodg'd, + And mark'd the dangerous alley where they lodg'd. + Fair as pearl-powder are their opening charms, + In tender beauty; fit for BILLY's arms; + And from the toilet blooming as they seem, 155 + Two cows would scarce supply them with cold cream. + The house, the name to BILLY will I show, + Long has DUNDAS the secret wish'd to know, + And he shall know: since services like these + Have little pow'r our virtuous youth to please. 160 + Come, BILLY, come. For you each rising day + My maids, tho' tax'd, shall twine a huge bouquet: + That you, next winter, at the birth-night ball + In loyal splendor may out-dazzle all; + Dear Mrs. ROSE her needle shall employ, 165 + To 'broider a fine waistcoat for my boy; + In gay design shall blend with skilful toil, + Gold, silver, spangles, crystals, beads, and foil, + 'Till the rich work in bright confusion show + Flow'rs of all hues--and many more than blow. 170 + I too, for something to present--some book + Which BILLY wants, and I can spare--will look: + EDEN's five letters, with an half-bound set + Of pamphlet schemes to pay the public debt; + And pasted there, too thin to bind alone, 175 + My SHELBURNE's speech so gracious from the throne. + COCKER's arithmetic my gift shall swell; + By JOHNSON how esteem'd, let BOSWELL tell. + Take too these Treaties by DEBRETT; and here + Take to explain them, SALMON's Gazetteer. 180 + And you, Committee labours of DUNDAS, + And you, his late dispatches to Madras, + Bound up with BILLY's fav'rite act I'll send; + Together bound--for sweetly thus you blend. + ROSE, you're a blockhead! Let no factious scribe 185 + Hear such a thought, that BILLY heeds a bribe: + Or grant th' Immaculate, not proof to pelf, + Has STEELE a soul less liberal than yourself? + --Zounds! what a blunder! worse than when I made + A FRENCH arret, the guard of BRITISH trade. 190 + Ah! foolish boy, whom fly you?--Once a week + The KING from Windsor deigns these scenes to seek. + Young GALLOWAY too is here, in waiting still. + Our coasts let RICHMOND visit, if he will; + There let him build, and garrison his forts, 195 + If such his whim:--Be our delight in courts. + What various tastes divide the fickle town! + One likes the fair, and one admires the brown; + The stately, QUEENSB'RY; HINCHINBROOK, the small; + THURLOW loves servant-maids; DUNDAS loves all. 200 + O'er MORNINGTON French prattle holds command; + HASTINGS buys German phlegm at second-hand; + The dancer's agile limbs win DORSET's choice; + Whilst BRUDENELL dies enamour'd of a voice: + 'Tis PEMBROKE's dearest pleasure to elope, 205 + And BILLY, best of all things, loves--a trope; + My BILLY I: to each his taste allow: + Well said the dame, I ween, who kiss'd her cow. + Lo! in the West the sun's broad orb disp lay'd + O'er the Queen's palace, lengthens every shade: 210 + See the last loiterers now the Mall resign; + E'en Poets go, that they may seem to dine: + Yet, fasting, here I linger to complain. + Ah! ROSE, GEORGE ROSE! what phrenzy fires your brain! + With pointless paragraphs the POST runs wild; 215 + And FOX, a whole week long, is unrevil'd: + Our vouchers lie half-vamp'd, and without end + Tax-bills on tax-bills rise to mend and mend. + These, or what more we need, some new deceit + Prepare to gull the Commons, when they meet. 220 + Tho' scorn'd by BILLY, you ere long may find + Some other Minister, like LANSDOWNE kind. + He ceas'd, went home, ate, drank his fill, and then + Snor'd in his chair, 'till supper came at ten. 224 + + +IMITATONS. + + VIRGIL. ECLOGUE II. + + Formosum pastor Corydon, ardebat Alexin, + Delicias domini; nec, quid speraret habebat, + Tantum inter densas, umbrosa cacumina, fagos + Assidue veniebat; ibi haec incondita solus + Montibus et sylvis studio jactabat inani. + + O crudelis Alexi! nihil mea carmina curas; + Nil nostri miserere: mori me denique coges. + Nunc etiam pecudes umbras et frigora captant; + Nunc virides etiam occultant spineta lacertos; + Thestylis et rapido fessis messoribus aestu + Allia serpyllumque herbas contundit olentis. + + At mecum raucis, tua dum vestigia lustro, + Sole sub ardenti resonant arbusta cicadis. + Nonne fuit melius tristes Amyrillidis iras + Atque superba pata fastidia? Nonne Menalcan + Quamvis ille niger, quamvis tu candidus esses, + O formose puer, nimium ne crede colori. + Alba ligustra cadunt, vaccinia nigra leguntur. + Sum tibi despectus; nec qui sim quaeris, Alexi: + Quam dives pecoris nivei, quam lactis abundans. + Mille meae Siculis errant in montibus agnae: + + Lac mihi non aestate novum, non frigore desit. + Canto, quae solitus, si quando armenta vocabat, + Amphion Dircaeus in Actoeo Aracyntho. + Nec sum adeo informis: nuper me in littore vidi, + Cum placidum ventis staret mare: non ego Daphnim, + Judice te, metuam, si nunquam fallat imago. + + O tantum libeat mecum tibi sordida rura + Atque humilis habitare casas, et figere cervos, + Haedorumque gregem viridi compellere hibisco. + Mecum una in Sylois imitabere Pana canendo. + + Pan primus calamos cera conjungere plures + instituit;---------------- + ------Pan curat oves, oviumque magistros. + Neu te poeniteat calamo trivisse labellum. + Haec eadem ut sciret, quid non faciebat Amyntas? + + Est mihi disparibus septem compacta cicutis + Fistula, Damaetas dono mihi quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens: "te nunc habet ista secundum." + Dixit Damaetas: invidit stultus Amyntas. + + Praeterea duo-nec tuta mihi valle reperti + Capreoli, sparsis etiam nunc pellibus albo, + Bina die siccant ovis ubera; quos tibi servo. + Jampridem a me illos abducere Thestylis orat, + Et faciet; quoniam sordent tibi munera nostra! + + Huc ades, O formose puer. Tibi lilia plenis + Ecce ferunt nymphae calathis: tibi candida Nais + Pallentis violas, et summa papavera carpens + Narcissum et florem jungit bene olentis anethi. + Tum casia, atque aliis intexens suavibus herbis + Mollia luteola pingit vaccinia caltha. + + Ipse ego cana legam tenera lanugine mala, + Castaneasque nuces, mea quas Amaryllis amabat: + Addam ceroa pruna; honos erit huic quoque pomo + Et vos, O lauri carpam, et te, proxima myrtus + Sic positae, quoniam suaves miscetis odores. + + Rusticus es, Corydon! nec munera curat Alexis + Nec, si muneribus certes, concedat Iolas. + Eheu! quid volui misero mihi? Floribus Austrum + Perditus et liquidis immissi fontibus apros. + Quem fugis, ah! demens? habitarunt Di quoque sylvas, + Dardaniusque Paris. Pallas, quas condidit, arces + Ipsa colat: Nobis placeant ante omnia sylvae. + + Torva leaena lupum sequitur lupus ipse capellam, + Florentem cytasum sequitur lasciva capella; + Te Corydon, O Alexi: trahit sua quemque voluptas. + Me tamen urit amor: quis enim modis adsit amori. + Aspice! aratra jugo referunt suspensa juvenci, + Et sol crescentis discedens duplicat umbras: + Ah! Corydon, Corydon, quae te dementia cepit? + Semiputata tibi frondosa vitis in ulmo est. + Quin tu aliquid saltem, potius quorum indiget usus, + Viminibus, mollique paras detexere junco? + Invenies alium, si te hic fastidit, Alexin. + + +NOTES. + +Ver. 29 and 32 allude to a pamphlet on the Irish Propositions, +commonly called the Treasury Pamphlet, and universally attributed +to Mr. Rose. This work of the Honourable Secretary's was eminently +distinguished by a gentleman-like contempt for the pedantry of +grammar, and a poetical abhorrence of dull fact. + +Ver. 42. For a long account of Sir Richard Hill's harvest-home, +and of the godly hymns and ungodly ballads, sung on the occasion, +see the newspapers in Autumn, 1784. + +Ver. 49. Justice to the minister obliges us to observe, that he is +by no means chargeable with the scandalous illiberality above +intimated, of reducing the income of the Secretaries of the Treasury +to the miserable pittance of 3000l. a year. This was one of the many +infamous acts which to deservedly drew down the hatred of all +true friends to their king and country, on those pretended patriots, +the Whigs. + +Ver. 66. We know not of what forgeries Mr. Rose here boasts. +Perhaps he may mean the paper relative to his interview with +Mr. Gibbon and Mr. Reynolds, so opportunely found in an obscure +drawer of Mr. Pitt's bureau. See the Parliamentary debates of 1785. + +Ver. 71. Alludes to a couplet in the LYARS, which was written before +the present Eclogue. + +Ver. 78. The _Reply to the Treasury Pamphlet_ was answered, not by +Mr. Rote himself, but by Mr. George Chalmers. + +Ver. 88. The following digression on his Majesty's love of the +fine arts, though it be somewhat long, will carry its apology with +it in the truth and beauty of the panegyric. The judicious reader +will observe that the style is more elevated, like the subject, +and for this the poet may plead both the example and precept of +his favourite Virgil. + + --------sylvae sint Consule dignae. + +Ver. 91 and 92. Since the death of Ramsay, Sir Joshua Reynolds +is _nominally_ painter to the king, though his Majesty sits only +to Mr. West. + +Ver. 93. This line affords a striking instance of our Poet's +dexterity in the use of his classical learning. He here translates +a single phrase from Horace. + + _Judicium subtile_ videndis artibus illud. + +When he could not possibly apply what concludes, + + Boetum in crasso jurares aeere natum. + +Ver. 95. Our most gracious Sovereign's comparative estimate of Messrs. +Whitehead and Warton, is here happily elucidated, from a circumstance +highly honourable to his Majesty's taste; that, whereas he thought +the former worthy of two places, he has given the latter only the +worst of the two. Mr. Fauquier is made Secretary and Register to the +order of the Bath, in the room of the deceased Laureat. + +Ver. 107. We suspect the whole of this passage in praise of his +Majesty, has been retouched by Mr. Warton, as this line, or something +very like it, occurs in his "Triumphs of Isis," a spirited poem, which +is omitted, we know not why, in his publication of his works. + +Ver. 149. Our readers, we trust, have already admired the several +additions which our poet has made to the ideas of his great original. +He has here given an equal proof of his judgment in a slight omission. +When he converted Amyntas into Lord Uxbridge, with what striking +propriety did he sink upon us the epithet of _stultus_, or _foolish_; +for surely we cannot suppose that to be conveyed above in the term +of _simple_ peer. + +Ver. 156. In the manuscript we find two lines which were struck out; +possibly because our poet supposed they touched on a topic of praise, +not likely ta be very prevalent with Mr. PITT, notwithstanding what +we have lately heard of his "Atlantean shoulders." They are as +follows: + + Yet strong beyond the promise of their years, + Each in one night would drain two grenadiers. + +Ver. 181. The orders of the Board of Controul, relative to the debts +of the Nabob of Arcot, certainly _appear_ diametrically opposite to +Mr. Dundas's Reports, and to an express clause of Mr. Pitt's bill. +Our author, however, like Mr. Pitt and Mr. Dundas, roundly asserts +the consistency of the whole. + +Ver. 189. This unfortunate slip of the Honourable Secretary's +constitutional logic happened in a debate on the Irish Propositions. +Among the many wild chimeras of faction on that memorable occasion, +one objection was, that the produce of the French West-Indian Islands +might be legally smuggled through Ireland into this country. To which +Mr. Rose replied, "That we might repeal all our acts in perfect +security, because the French King had lately issued an arret which +would prevent this smuggling." + +Ver. 216. We flattered ourselves that this line might have enabled us +to ascertain the precise time when this eclogue was written. We were, +however, disappointed, as on examining the file of Morning Posts +for 1784, we could not find a single week in which Mr. FOX is +absolutely without some attack or other. We suppose therefore +our author here speaks with the allowed latitude of poetry. + + * * * * * + +THE LYARS. + +ARGUMENT. + +This Eclogue is principally an Imitation of the third Bucolic of +Virgil, which, as is observed by Dr. Joseph Warton, the Brother of our +incomparable Laureat, is of that Species called Amoeboea, where the +Characters introduced contend in alternate Verse; the second always +endeavouring to surpass the first Speaker in an equal number of Lines, +As this was in point of Time the first of our Author's Pastoral +Attempts, he has taken rather more Latitude than he afterwards allowed +himself in the rest, and has interspersed one or two occasional +Imitations from other Eclogues of the Roman Poet. + + + In Downing-street, the breakfast duly set, + As BANKS and PRETTYMAN one morn were met, + A strife arising who could best supply, + In urgent cases, a convenient lie; + His skill superior each essay'd to prove 5 + In verse alternate--which the Muses love! + While BILLY, listening to their tuneful plea, + In silence sipp'd his _Commutation_ Tea, + And heard them boast, how loudly both had ly'd: + The Priest began, the Layman thus reply'd! 10 + +PRETTYMAN. + Why wilt thou, BANKS, with me dispute the prize? + Who is not cheated when a Parson lies? + Since pious Christians, ev'ry Sabbath-day, + Must needs believe whate'er the Clergy say! + In spite of all you Laity can do, 15 + One lie from us is more than ten from you! + +BANKS. + O witless lout! in lies that touch the state, + We, Country Gentlemen, have far more weight; + Fiction from us the public still must gull: + They think we're honest, as they know we're dull! 20 + +PRETTYMAN. + In yon Cathedral I a Prebend boast, + The maiden bounty of our gracious host! + Its yearly profits I to thee resign, + If PITT pronounce not that the palm is mine! + +BANKS. + A Borough mine, a pledge far dearer sure, 25 + Which in St Stephen's gives a seat secure! + If PITT to PRETTYMAN the prize decree, + Henceforth CORFE-CASTLE shall belong to thee! + +PITT. + Begin the strain--while in our easy chairs + We loll, forgetful of all public cares! 30 + Begin the strain--nor shall I deem my time + Mispent, in hearing a debate in ryhme! + +PRETTYMAN. + Father of lies! By whom in EDEN's shade + Mankind's first parents were to sin betray'd; + Lo! on this altar, which to thee I raise, 35 + Twelve BIBLES, bound in red Morocco, blaze. + +BANKS. + Blest powers of falsehood, at whose shrine I bend, + Still may success your votary's lies attend! + What prouder victims can your altars boast, + Than honours stain'd, and fame for ever lost? 40 + +PRETTYMAN. + How smooth, persuasive, plausible, and glib, + From holy lips is dropp'd the specious fib! + Which whisper'd slily, in its dark career + Assails with art the unsuspecting ear. + +BANKS. + How clear, convincing, eloquent, and bold, 45 + The bare-fac'd lie, with manly courage told! + Which, spoke in public, falls with greater force, + And heard by hundreds, is believ'd of course. + +PRETTYMAN. + Search through each office for the basest tool + Rear'd in JACK ROBINSONS's abandon'd school; 50 + ROSE, beyond all the sons of dulness, dull, + Whose legs are scarcely thicker than his scull; + Not ROSE, from all restraints of conscience free, + In double-dealing is a match for me. + +BANKS. + Step from St. Stephen's up to Leadenhall, 55 + Where Europe's crimes appear no crimes at all; + Not Major SCOTT, with bright pagodas paid, + That wholesale dealer in the lying trade; + Not he, howe'er important his design, + Can lie with impudence surpassing mine. 60 + +PRETTYMAN. + Sooner the ass in fields of air shall graze, + Or WARTON's Odes with justice claims the bays; + Sooner shall mackrel on the plains disport, + Or MULGRAVE's hearers think his speech too short; + Sooner shall sense escape the prattling lips 65 + Of Captain CHARLES, or COL'NEL HENRY PHIPPS; + Sooner shall CAMPBELL mend his phrase uncouth, + Than Doctor PRETTYMAN shall speak the truth! + +BANKS. + When FOX and SHERIDAN for fools shall pass, + And JEMMY LUTTRELL not be thought an ass; 70 + When all their audience shall enraptur'd sit + With MAWBEY's eloquence, and MARTIN's wit; + When fiery KENYON shall with temper speak, + When modest blushes die DUNDAS's cheek; + Then, only then, in PITT's behalf will I 75 + Refuse to pledge my honour to a lie. + +PRETTYMAN. + While in suspence our Irish project hung, + A well-framed fiction from this fruitful tongue + Bade the vain terrors of the City cease, + And lull'd the Manufacturers to peace: 80 + The tale was told with so demure an air, + Not weary Commerce could escape the snare. + +BANKS. + When Secret Influence expiring lay, + And Whigs triumphant hail'd th' auspicious day, + I bore that faithless message to the House, 85 + By PITT contriv'd the gaping 'squires to chouse; + That deed, I ween, demands superior thanks: + The British Commons were the dupes of BANKS. + +PRETTYMAN. + Say, in what regions are those fathers found, + For deep-dissembling policy renown'd; 90 + Whose subtle precepts for perverting truth, + To quick perfection train'd our patron's youth, + And taught him all the mystery of lies? + Resolve me this, and I resign the prize. + +BANKS. + Say, what that mineral, brought from distant climes, 95 + Which screens delinquents, and absolves their crimes; + Whose dazzling rays confound the space between + A tainted strumpet and a spotless Queen; + Which Asia's Princes give, which Europe's take; + Tell this, dear Doctor, and I yield the stake. 100 + +PITT. + Enough, my friends--break off your tuneful sport, + 'Tis levee day, and I must dress for Court; + Which hath more boldly or expertly lied, + Not mine th' important contest to decide. + Take thou this MITRE, Doctor, which before 105 + A greater hypocrite sure never wore; + And if to services rewards be due, + Dear BANKS, this CORONET belongs to you: + Each from that Government deserves a prize, + Which thrives by shuffling, and subsists by lies. 110 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 6. Amant alterna Camenae. + Ver. 10. Hos Corydon, illos referebat in ordine Thyrsis. + Ver. 29. Dicite--quandoquidem in molli consedimus herba + Ver. 61. Ante leves ergo pas entur in aethere cervi + Et freta destituent nudos in littore pisces-- + Ver. 89. Die quibus in terris, &c. + Ver. 104. Non nostrum inter vos tantas componere lites. + Ver. 105. Et vitula tu dignus et hic. + +NOTES. +Ver. 17. Our poet here seems to deviate from his general rule, by the +introduction of a phrase which appears rather adapted to the lower +and less elevated strain of pastoral, than to the dialogue of persons +of such distinguished rank. It is, however, to be considered, that it +is far from exceeding the bounds of possibility to suppose, that, +in certain instances, the epithet of "Witless," and the coarse +designation of "Lout," may be as applicable to a dignitary of the +church, as to the most ignorant and illiterate rustic. + +Ver. 62. The truth of this line must be felt by all who have read +the lyrical effusions of Mr. Warton's competitors, whose odes were +some time since published, by Sir John Hawkins, Knight. The present +passage must be understood in reference to these, and not to the +Laureat's general talents. + +Ver. 85. The ingenious and sagacious gentleman, who, at the period +of the glorious revolution of 1784, held frequent meetings at +the Saint Alban's Tavern, for the purpose of bringing about an union +that might have prevented the dissolution of parliament; which +meetings afforded time to one of the members of the proposed union to +concert means throughout every part of the kingdom, for ensuring the +success of that salutary and constitutional measure, which, through +his friend Mr. B--ks, he had solemnly pledged himself not to adopt. +How truly does this conduct mark "the statesman born!" + -------- Dolus an virtus, quis in hoste requirit? + +Ver. 98. It must be acknowledged that there is some obscurity in +this passage, as well as in the following line, + + "Which Asia's princes give, which Europe's take:" + +and of this, certain seditious, malevolent, disaffected critics have +taken advantage, and have endeavoured, by a forced construction, +to discover in them an unwarrantable insinuation against the highest +and most sacred characters; from which infamous imputation, however, +we trust, the well-known and acknowledged loyalty of our author's +principles will sufficiently protect him. + + * * * * * + +_MARGARET NICHOLSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +Mr. WILKES and Lord HAWKESBURY alternately congratulate each other +on his Majesty's late happy Escape, The one describes the Joy which +pervades the Country: the other sings the Dangers from which our +Constitution has been preserved. Though in the following Eclogue +our Author has not selected any single one of _Virgil_ for a close and +exact Parody, he seems to have had his Eye principally upon the Vth, +or the _Daphnis_, which contains the Elegy and _APOTHEOSIS_ of _Julius +Caesar_. + + + The Session up: the INDIA-BENCH appeas'd, + The LANSDOWNES satisfied, the LOWTHERS pleas'd, + Each job dispatch'd:--the Treasury boys depart, + As various fancy prompts each youthful heart; + PITT, in chaste kisses seeking virtuous joy, 5 + Begs Lady CHATHAM's blessing on her boy; + While MORNINGTON, as vicious as he can, + To fair R--L--N in vain affects the man: + With Lordly BUCKINGHAM retir'd at STOWE, + GRENVILLE, whose plodding brains no respite know, 10 + To prove next year, how our finances thrive, + Schemes new reports, that two and two make five. + To plans of Eastern justice hies DUNDAS; + And comley VILLARS to his votive glass; + To embryo tax bills ROSE; to dalliance STEELE; 15 + And hungry hirelings to their hard-earn'd meal. + A faithful pair, in mutual friendship tied, + Once keen in hate, as now in love allied + (This, o'er admiring mobs in triumph rode, + Libell'd his monarch and blasphem'd his God; 20 + That, the mean drudge of tyranny and BUTE, + At once his practis'd pimp and prostitute), + Adscomb's proud roof receives, whose dark recess + And empty vaults, its owner's mind express, + While block'd-up windows to the world display 25 + How much he loves a tax, how much invites the day. + Here the dire chance that god-like GEORGE befel, + How sick in spirit, yet in health how well; + What Mayors by dozens, at the tale affrighted, + Got drunk, address'd, got laugh'd at, and got knighted; 30 + They read, with mingled horror and surprise, + In London's pure Gazette, that never lies. + Ye Tory bands, who, taught by conscious fears, + Have wisely check'd your tongues, and sav'd your ears,-- + Hear, ere hard fate forbids--what heavenly strains 35 + Flow'd from the lips of these melodious swains. + Alternate was the song; but first began, + With hands uplifted, the regenerate man. + +WILKES. + Bless'd be the beef-fed guard, whose vigorous twist + Wrench'd the rais'd weapon from the murderer's fist, 40 + Him Lords in waiting shall with awe behold + In red tremendous, and hirsute in gold. + On him, great monarch, let thy bounty shine, + What meed can match a life so dear as thine? + Well was that bounty measured, all must own, 45 + That gave him _half_ of what he saved--_a crown_. + Bless'd the dull edge, for treason's views unfit, + Harmless as SYDNEY's rage, or BEARCROFT's wit. + Blush, clumsy patriots, for degenerate zeal, + WILKES had not guided thus the faithless steel! 50 + Round your sad mistress flock, ye maids elect, + Whose charms severe your chastity protect; + Scar'd by whose glance, despairing love descries, + That virtue steals no triumph from your eyes. + Round your bold master flock, ye mitred hive, 55 + With anathems on Whigs his soul revive! + Saints! whom the sight of human blood appals, + Save when to please the Royal will it falls. + He breathes! he lives! the vestal choir advance, + Each takes a bishop, and leads up the dance, 60 + Nor dreads to break her long respected vow, + For chaste--ah strange to tell!--are bishops now: + Saturnian times return!--the age of truth, + And--long foretold--is come the virgin youth. + Now sage professors, for their learning's curse, 65 + Die of their duty in remorseless verse: + Now sentimental Aldermen expire + In prose half flaming with the Muse's fire; + Their's--while rich dainties swim on every plate-- + Their's the glad toil to feast for Britain's fate; 70 + Nor mean the gift the Royal grace affords, + All shall be knights--but those that shall be lords. + Fountain of Honour, that art never dry, + Touch'd with whose drops of grace no thief can die, + Still with new titles soak the delug'd land, 75 + Still may we all be safe from KETCH's menac'd hand! + +JENKINSON. + Oh wond'rous man, with a more wond'rous Muse! + O'er my lank limbs thy strains a sleep diffuse, + Sweet as when PITT with words, disdaining end, + Toils to explain, yet scorns to comprehend. 80 + Ah! whither had we fled, had that foul day + Torn him untimely from our arms away? + What ills had mark'd the age, had that dire thrust + Pierc' his soft heart, and bow'd his bob to dust? + Gods! to my labouring sight what phantoms rise! 85 + Here Juries triumph, and there droops Excise! + Fierce from defeat, and with collected might, + The low-born Commons claim the people's right: + And mad for freedom, vainly deem their own, + Their eye presumptuous dares to scan the throne. 90 + See--in the general wreck that smothers all, + Just ripe for justice--see my HASTINGS fall. + Lo, the dear Major meets a rude repulse, + Though blazing in each hand he bears a BULSE? + Nor Ministers attend, nor Kings relent, 95 + Though rich Nabobs so splendidly repent. + See EDEN's faith expos'd to sale again, + Who takes his plate, and learns his French in vain. + See countless eggs for us obscure the sky, + Each blanket trembles, and each pump is dry. 100 + Far from good things DUNDAS is sent to roam, + Ah!--worse than banish'd--doom'd to live at home. + Hence dire illusions! dismal scenes away-- + Again he cries, "What, what!" and all is gay. + Come, BRUNSWICK, come, great king of loaves and fishes, + Be bounteous still to grant us all our wishes! 106 + Twice every year with BEAUFOY as we dine, + Pour'd to the brim--eternal George--be thine + Two foaming cups of his nectareous juice, + Which--new to gods--no mortal vines produce. 110 + To us shall BRUDENELL sing his choicest airs, + And capering MULGRAVE ape the grace of bears; + A grand thanksgiving pious YORK compose, + In all the proud parade of pulpit prose; + For sure Omniscience will delight to hear, 115 + Thou 'scapest a danger, that was never near. + While ductile PITT thy whisper'd wish obeys, + While dupes believe whate'er the Doctor says, + While panting to be tax'd, the famish'd poor + Grow to their chains, and only beg for more; 120 + While fortunate in ill, thy servants find + No snares too slight to catch the vulgar mind: + Fix'd as the doom, thy power shall still remain, + And thou, wise King, as uncontroul'd shall reign. + +WILKES. + Thanks, _Jenky_, thanks, for ever could'st thou sing, 125 + For ever could I sit and hear thee praise the King. + Then take this book, which with a Patriot's pride, + Once to his sacred warrant I deny'd, + Fond though he was of reading all I wrote: + No gift can better suit thy tuneful throat. 130 + +JENKINSON. + And thou this Scottish pipe, which JAMIE's breath + Inspir'd when living, and bequeath'd in death, + From lips unhallow'd I've prcserv'd it long: + Take the just tribute of thy loyal song. 134 + + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 59. Ergo alacris sylvas et cetera rura voluptas. + Panaque pastoresque tenet, Dryadasque puellas. + Ver. 61. Nec lupus insidias pecori, &c. + Ver. 63. Jam redit et Virgo, redeunt Saturnia regna. + Ver. 78. Tale tuum carmen nobis, divine Poeta, + Quale sopor sessis in gramine. + Ver. 106. Sis bonus; O! felixque tuis-- + Ver. 107. Pocula bina novo spumantia lacte quot--annis + Craterasque duo statuam tibi. + Ver. 109. Vina _novum_ fundum calathis Arvisia nectar. + Ver. 114. Cantabunt mihi Damaetas et Lictius AEgon. + Saltantes Satyros imitabitur Alphaesibaeus. + Ver. 121. Dum juga montis aper, &c. + Semper honos, nomenque tuum, laudesque manebunt. + Ver. 130. At tu sume pedurn, quod cum me saepe rogaret + Non tulit Antigenes, et erat turn dignus amari. + Ver. 134. Est mihi-- + Fistula, Damaetas dono mini quam dedit olim, + Et dixit moriens, "Te nunc, habet ista secundum." + ECL. II. + +NOTES. +Ver. 46. _half--a crown!_--Literally so. + +Ver. 63, 64. It is rearkable that these are the only lines which +our Poet has imitated from the IVth Eclogue (or the Pollio) of Virgil. +Perhaps the direct and obvious application of that whole Eclogue +appeared to our author to be an undertaking too easy for the exercise +of his superior talents; or perhaps he felt himself too well +anticipated by a similar imitation of Pope's Messiah, which was +inserted some time since in one of the public papers. If the author +will favour us with a corrected copy, adapted rather to the Pollio +than the Messiah, we shall be happy to give it a place in our +subsequent editions, of which we doubt not the good taste of the town +will demand as many as of the rest of our celebrated bard's +immortal compositions. + +Ver. 119. The public alarm expressed upon the event which is the +subject of this Pastoral, was certainly a very proper token of +affection to a Monarch, every action of whose reign denotes him +to be the father of his people. Whether it has sufficiently subsided +to admit of a calm enquiry into facts, is a matter of some doubt, +as the addresses were not finished in some late Gazettes. If ever +that time should arrive, the world will be very well pleased to hear +that the miserable woman whom the Privy Council have judiciously +confined in Bedlam for her life, never even aimed a blow at his +August Person. + +Ver. 127. _This Book_, &c. Essay on Woman. + +Ver. 130. _No gift can better suit thy----throat._ The ungrateful +people of England, we have too much reason to fear, may be of +a different opinion. + + * * * * * + +_CHARLES JENKINSON._ + +ARGUMENT. + +The following is a very close Translation of _VIRGIL's SILENUS_; +so close indeed that many Readers may be surprised at such a Deviation +from our Authur's usual Mode of imitating the Ancients. But we are +to consider that _VIRGIL_ is revered by his Countrymen, not only +as a Poet, but likewise as a Prophet and Magician; and our +incomparable Translator, who was not ignorant of this Circumstance, +was convinced, that _VIRGIL_ in his _SILENUS_ had really and _bona +fide_ meant to allude to the Wonders of the present Reign, and +consequently that it became his Duty to adhere most strictly to his +Original, and to convey the true Meaning of this hitherto inexplicable +Eclogue. + + + Mine was the Muse, that from a Norman scroll + First rais'd to Fame the barbarous worth of ROLLE, + And dar'd on DEVON's hero to dispense + The gifts of Language, Poetry, and Sense. + In proud Pindarics next my skill I try'd, 5 + But SALISB'RY wav'd his wand and check'd my pride: + "Write English, friend (he cry'd), be plain and flatter, + Nor thus confound your compliment and satire. + Even I, a critic by the King's command, + Find these here odes damn'd hard to understand." 10 + Now then, O deathless theme of WARTON's Muse, + Oh great in War! oh glorious at Reviews! + While many a rival anxious for the bays; + Pursues thy virtues with relentless praise; + While at thy levee smiling crowds appear, 15 + Blest that thy birth-day happens once a year: + Like good SIR CECIL, I to woods retire, + And write plain eclogues o'er my parlour fire. + Yet still for thee my loyal verse shall flow, + Still, shou'd it please, to thee its charms shall owe; 20 + And well I ween, to each succeeding age, + Thy name shall guard and consecrate my page. + Begin, my Muse!--As WILBERFORCE and BANKS + Late in the Lobby play'd their usual pranks, + Within a water-closet's niche immur'd 25 + (Oh that the treacherous door was unsecur'd), + His wig awry, his papers on the ground, + Drunk, and asleep, CHARLES JENKINSON they found. + Transported at the sight (for oft of late + At PITT's assembled on affairs of state, 30 + They both had press'd him, but could ne'er prevail, + To sing a merry song or tell a tale) + In rush'd th' advent'rous youths:--they seize, they bind, + Make fast his legs, and tie his hands behind, + Then scream for help; and instant to their aid 35 + POMONA flies, POMONA, lovely maid; + Or maid, or goddess, sent us from above, + To bless young Senators with fruit and love. + Then thus the sage--"Why these unseemly bands? + "Untie my legs, dear boys, and loose my hands; 40 + The promis'd tale be yours: a tale to you; + To fair POMONA different gifts are due." + Now all things haste to hear the master talk: + Here Fawns and Satyrs from the Bird-cage-walk, + Here Centaur KENYON, and the Sylvan sage, 45 + Whom BOWOOD guards to rule a purer age, + Here T------W, B------T, H------N appear, + With many a minor savage in their rear, + Panting for treasons, riots, gibbets, blocks, + To strangle NORTH, to scalp and eat CHARLES FOX. 50 + There H------'s sober band in silence wait, + Inur'd to sleep, and patient of debate; + Firm in their ranks, each rooted to his chair + They sit, and wave their wooden heads in air. + Less mute the rocks while tuneful Phoebus sung, 55 + Less sage the critic brutes round Orpheus hung; + For true and pleasant were the tales he told, + His theme great GEORGE's age, the age of gold. + Ere GEORGE appear'd a Briton bora and bred, + One general Chaos all the land o'erspread 60 + There lurking seeds of adverse factions lay, + Which warm'd and nurtur'd by his dawning ray, + Sprang into life. Then first began to thrive + The tender shoots of young Prerogative; + Then spread luxuriant, when unclouded shone 65 + The full meridian splendour of the throne. + Yet was the Court a solitary waste; + Twelve lords alone the Royal chamber grac'd! + When BUTE, the good DEUCALION of the reign, + To gracious BRUNSWICK pray'd, nor pray'd in vain. 70 + For straight (oh goodness of the royal mind!) + Eight blocks, to dust and rubbish long confin'd, + Now wak'd by mandate from their trance of years, + Grew living creatures--just like other Peers. + Nor here his kindness ends--From wild debate 75 + And factious rage he guards his infant state. + Resolv'd alone his empire's toils to bear, + "Be all men dull!" he cry'd, and dull they were. + Then sense was treason:--then with bloody claw + Exulting soar'd the vultures of the law: 80 + Then ruffians robb'd by ministerial writ, + And GRENVILLE plunder'd reams of useless wit, + While mobs got drunk 'till learning should revive, + And loudly bawl'd for WILKES and forty-five. + Next to WILL PITT he past, so sage, so young, 85 + So cas'd with wisdom, and so arm'd with tongue + His breast with every royal virtue full, + Yet, strange to tell, the minion of JOHN BULL. + Prepost'rous passion! say, what fiend possest, + Misguided youth, what phrenzy fir'd thy breast? 90 + 'Tis true, in senates, many a hopeful lad + Has rav'd in metaphor, and run stark mad; + His friend, the heir-apparent of MONTROSE, + Feels for his beak, and starts to find a nose; + Yet at these times preserve the little share 95 + Of sense and thought intrusted to their care; + While thou with ceaseless folly, endless labour, + Now coaxing JOHN, now flirting with his neighbour, + Hast seen thy lover from his bonds set free, + Damning the shop-tax, and himself, and thee. 100 + Now good MACPHERSON, whose prolific muse + Begets false tongues, false heroes, and false news, + Now frame new lies, now scrutinize thy brain, + And bring th' inconstant to these arms again! + Next of the Yankeys' fraud the master told, 105 + And GRENVILLE's fondness for Hesperian gold; + And GRENVILLE's friends, conspicuous from afar, + In mossy down incas'd, and bitter tar. + SIR CECIL next adorn'd the pompous song, + Led by his CAELIA through th' admiring throng, 110 + All CAELIA's sisters hail'd the prince of bards, + Reforming sailors bow'd, and patriot guards: + While thus SIR JOSEPH (his stupendious head + Crown'd with green-groc'ry, and with flow'rs o'erspread) + From the high hustings spoke--"This pipe be thine, 115 + This pipe, the fav'rite present of the Nine, + On which WILL WHITEHEAD play'd those powerful airs, + Which to ST. JAMES's drew reluctant May'rs, + And forc'd stiff-jointed Aldermen to bend; + Sing thou on this thy SAL'SBURY, sing thy friend; 120 + Long may he live in thy protecting strains, + And HATFIELD vie with TEMPE's fabled plains!" + Why should I tell th' election's horrid tale, + That scene of libels, riots, blood, and ale? + There of SAM HOUSE the horrid form appeared; 125 + Round his white apron howling monsters reared + Their angry clubs; mid broken heads they polled; + And HOOD's best sailors in the kennel rolled; + Ah! why MAHON's disastrous fate record? + Alas! how fear can change the fiercest lord! 130 + See the sad sequel of the grocers' treat-- + Behold him darting up St. James's-street, + Pelted, and scar'd by BROOKE's hellish sprites, + And vainly fluttering round the door of WHITE's! + All this, and more he told, and every word 135 + With silent awe th' attentive striplings heard, + When, bursting on their ear, stern PEARSON's note + Proclaim'd the question put, and called them forth to vote. + +IMITATIONS. + Ver. 1. Prima Syracosio dignita est ludere versu, + Nostra nee erubuit sylvas habitare Thalia. + Cum canerem regis et praelia, Cynthius aurem + Vellit, et admonuit, &c. &c. + Ver. 11. Nunc ego (namque super tibi, erunt, qui dicere laudes + Vare, tuus cupiant, et tristia condere bella) + Sylvestrem tenui meditabor arundine musam. + Ver. 18. ---------Si quis tamen haec quoque, siquis + Captus amore leget, te nostrae, Vare, myricae + Te nemus omne canet, &c. + Ver. 23. ---------Chromis et Mnasylus in autro + Silenum pueri somno videre jacentem. + Ver. 29. Aggressi, nam saepe senex spe carminis ambo + Luserat, injiciunt ex ipsis vincula sertis. + Ver. 35. Addit se sociam timidisque supervenit AEgle, + AEgle Naiadum pulcherrima. + Ver. 39. ----------Quid vincula nectitis? inquit, + Solvite me pueri---- + Carmina quae vultis cognoscite, carmina vobis; + Huic aliud mercedis erit. + Ver. 43. Tum vero in numerurn faunosque ferasque videres, + Ludere, tum rigidas motare cacumina quercus. + Ver. 55. Nec tantum Phoebo gaudet Parnassia rupes, + Nec tantum Rhodope miratur et Ismarus Orphea. + Ver. 57. Namque canebat, uti magnum per inane coacta, + Semina terrarumque animaeque marisque fuissent, + Et liquidi simul ignis: Ut his exordia primis + Omnia, et ipse tener mundi concreverit orbis. + Ver. 62. Incipiant sylvae cum primum surgere------ + Jamque novum ut terrae stupeant lucescere solem. + Ver. 68. --------------------------Cumque + Rara per ignotos errant animalia montes. + Ver. 69. Hinc lapides Pyrrhae jactos---------- + Ver. 78. ------------Saturnia regna. + Ver. 81. Caucaseasque refert volucres: + Ver. 82. ------------Furtumque Promethei. + Ver. 84 ------------Hylan nautae quo fonte relictum, + Clamassent ut littus Hyla, Hyla, omne sonaret. + Ver. 88. Pasaphaen nivei solatur amore juvenci. + Ver. 89. Ah virgo infelix quae te dementia cepit? + Ver. 93. Praetides implerunt falsis mugitibus agros. + Ver. 96. Et saepe in laevi quaesissent cornua fronte, + At non, &c. + Ver. 99. Ille latus niveum, &c. + Ver. 101. ------Claudite nymphae + Dictaeae nymphae, nemorum jam claudite saltus, + Si qua forte ferant oculis sese obvia nostris, + Errabunda bovis vestigia. + Ver. 106. Tum canit Hesperidurn miratam mala puellant. + Ver. 108. Tum Phaetontiadas musco circumdat amarae + Corticis, atque solo proceras erigit. + Ver. 109. Tum canit errantem------Gallum, + Aonas in montes ut duxerit una sororum, + Utque viro Phoebi chorus assurrexerit omnis; + Ut Linus haec illi divino carmine pastor + Floribus, atque apio crines ornatus amaro, + Dixerit; hos tibi dant calamos, en accipe, musae, + Ascraeo quos ante seni, quibus ille solebat + Cantando rigidas deducere montibus ornos, &c. &c. &c. + Ver. 127. Quid loquar--Scyllum quam fama secuta est + Candida succinctam latrantibus inguina monstris + ------------------------gurgite in alto + Ah timidos nautas canibus lacerasse marinis. + Ver. 132. Aut ut mutatos Terei norraverit artus: + Quas illi Philomela dapes; quae dona paravit, + Quo corsu deserta petiverit, & quibus ante + Infelix sua tecta supervolitae erit alis. + + +NOTES. +Ver. 42. _To fair Pomana_, &c.] We are sorry to inform our readers, +that the promise which Mr. Jenkinson here intimates in favour of +the lady was, we fear, but the promise of a courtier. Truth obliges us +to declare, that having taken some pains to enquire into the facts, +we were assured by the lady herself, that she never received any +other gift, present, or compliment what-ever from Mr. Jenkinson. + +Ver. 68. Our Poet, for so careful a student of the Court Calendar, +as he must certainly be, is a little inaccurate here. The Lords of +the Bed-chamber were in truth thirteen, and seven only were added. +The numbers in the text were probably preserved as more euphonius. + +Ver. 101. _Good Macpherson_, &c.] This Ingenious gentleman, who first +signalized himself by a bombast translation of poems which never +existed, is now said occasionally to indulge his native genius for +fiction in paragraphs of poetical prose for some of our daily papers. + +Ver. 106. _Hesperian gold_.] The American revenue, which the late +Mr. Grenville was to have raised by his celebrated Stamp Act. Mr. +Jankinson, who was himself the author of that act, here delicately +touches an the true origin of the American war; a measure in which, +however unseccussful, we doubt not, he will ever be ready to glory. + +Ver. 110. SIR. CECIL's poems to Caelia are well known; and we are +persuaded will live to preserve the fame of his talents, when his +admirable letter to the Scottish reformers, and his pamphlet on the +Westminster Election, shall be forgotten. + + * * * * * + +JEKYLL. + + ----------------------------miserabile Carmen + Integrat, & maestis late loca questibus implet.--VIRGIL. + + + Jekyll, the wag of law, the scribblers pride, + Calne to the senate sent--when TOWNSHEND died. + So LANSDOWNE will'd:--the old hoarse rook at rest, + A jackdaw phoenix chatters from his nest. + Statesman and lawyer now, with clashing cares, 5 + Th' important youth roams thro' the Temple squares; + Yet stays his step, where, with congenial play, + The well-known fountain babbles day by day: + The little fountain:--whose restricted course, + In low faint Essays owns its shallow sourse. 10 + There, to the tinkling jet he tun'd his tongue, + While LANSDOWNE's fame, and LANSDOWNE's fall, he sung. + "Where were our friends, when the remorseless crew + Of felon whigs--great LANSDOWNE's pow'r o'erthrew? + For neither then, within St. Stephen's wall 15 + Obedient WESTCOTE hail'd the Treasury-call; + Nor treachery then had branded EDEN's fame, + Or taught mankind the miscreant MINCHIN's name, + Joyful no more (tho' TOMMY spoke so long) + Was high-born HOWARD's cry, or POWNEY's prattling tongue. 20 + Vain was thy roar, MAHON!--tho' loud and deep; + Not our own GILBERT could be rous'd from sleep. + No bargain yet the tribe of PHIPPS had made: + LANSDOWNE! you sought in vain ev'n MULGRAVE's aid; + MULGRAVE--at whose harsh scream in wild surprise, 25 + The _speechless_ Speaker lifts his drowsy eyes. + Ah! hapless day! still as thy hours return, + Let Jesuits, Jews, and sad Dissenters mourn! + Each quack and sympathizing juggler groan, + While bankrupt brokers echo moan for moan. 30 + Oh! much-lov'd peer!--my patron!--model!--friend! + How does thy alter'd state my bosom rend. + Alas! the ways of courts are strange and dark! + PITT scarce would make thee now-a Treasury-clerk!" + Stung with the maddening thought, his griefs, his fears 35 + Dissolve the plaintiff councellor in tears. + "How oft," he cries, "has wretched LANSDOWNE said; + _Curs'd be the toilsome hours by statesmen led! + Oh! had kind heaven ordain'd my humbler fate + A country gentleman's--of small estate-- 40 + With_ Price _and_ Priestly _in some distant grove, + Blest I had led the lowly life I love. + Thou_, Price, _had deign'd to calculate my flocks! + Thou_, Priestley! _sav'd them from the lightning shocks! + Unknown the storms and tempests of the state---- 45 + Unfelt the mean ambition to be great; + In_ Bowood's _shade had passed my peaceful days, + Far from the town and its delusive ways; + The crystal brook my beverage--and my food + Hips, carnels, haws, and berries of the wood_." 50 + "Blest peer! eternal wreaths adorn thy brow! + Thou CINCINNATU's of the British plough! + But rouse again thy talents and thy zeal! + Thy Sovereign, sure, must wish thee _Privy-seal_. + Or, what if from the seals thou art debarr'd? 55 + CHANDOS, at least, he might for thee discard. + Come, LANSDOWNE! come--thy life no more thy own, + Oh! brave again the smoke and noise of town: + For Britain's sake, the weight of greatness bear, + And suffer honours thou art doom'd to wear." 60 + To _thee_ her Princes, lo! where India sends! + All BENFIELD's here--and there all HASTINGS' friends; + MACPHERSON--WRAXALL--SULLIVAN--behold! + CALL--BARWELL--MIDDLETON--with heaps of gold! + Rajahs--Nabobs--from Oude--Tanjore--Arcot-- 65 + And see!--(nor oh! disdain him!)--MAJOR SCOTT. + Ah! give the Major but one gracious nod: + Ev'n PITT himself once deign'd to court the squad. + "Oh! be it _theirs_, with more than patriot heat, + To snatch their virtues from their lov'd retreat: 70 + Drag thee reluctant to the haunts of men, + And make the minister--Oh! God!--but when!" + Thus mourn'd the youth--'till, sunk in pensive grief, + He woo'd his handkerchief for soft relief. + In either pocket either hand he threw; 75 + When, lo!--from each, a precious tablet flew. + This--his sage patron's wond'rous speech on trade: + This--his own book of sarcasms ready made. + Tremendous book!--thou motley magazine + Of stale severities, and pilfer'd spleen! 80 + O! rich in ill!--within thy leaves entwin'd, + What glittering adders lurk to sting the mind. + Satire's _Museum_!--with SIR ASHTON's lore, + The naturalist of malice eyes thy store: + Ranging, with fell Virtu, his poisonous tribes 85 + Of embryo sneers, and anamalcule gibes. + Here insect puns their feeble wings expand + To speed, in little flights, their lord's command: + There, in their paper chrysalis, he sees + Specks of bon mots, and eggs of repartees. 90 + In modern spirits ancient wit he steeps; + If not its gloss, the reptile's venom keeps: + Thy quaintness' DUNNING! but without thy sense: + And just enough of B------t, for offence. + On these lov'd leaves a transient glance he threw: 95 + But weighter themes his anxious thoughts pursue. + Deep senatorial pomp intent to reach, + With ardent eyes he hangs o'er LANSDOWNE's speech. + Then, loud the youth proclaims the enchanting words + That charm'd the "noble natures" of the lords, 100 + "_Lost and obscured in_ Bowood'_s humble bow'r, + No party tool--no candidate for pow'r-- + I come, my lords! an hermit from my cell, + A few blunt truths in my plain style to tell. + Highly I praise your late commercial plan; 105 + Kingdoms should all unite--like man and man. + The_ French _love peace--ambition they detest; + But_ Cherburg'_s frightful works deny me rest. + With joy I see new wealth for Britain shipp'd_, + Lisbon's a froward child and should be whipp'd. 110 + _Yet_ Portugal'_s our old and best ally, + And _Gallic_ faith is but a slender tie, + My lords! the_ manufacturer'_s a fool; + The_ clothier, _too, knows nothing about wool; + Their interests still demand syr constant care_; 115 + Their _griefs are_ mine--their _fears are_ my _despair. + My lords! my soul is big with dire alarms_; + Turks, Germans, Russians, Prussians, _all in arms! + A noble_ Pole _(I'm proud to call him friend!) + Tells me of things I cannot comprehend. 120 + Your lordship's hairs would stand on end to hear + My last dispatches from the_ Grand Vizier. + _The fears of_ Dantzick-merchants _can't be told; + Accounts from_ Cracow _make my blood run cold. + The state of_ Portsmouth_, and of_ Plymouth Docks, 125 + _Your Trade--your Taxes--Army--Navy--Stocks-- + All haunt me in my dreams; and, when I rise, + The bank of England scares my open eyes. + I see--I know some dreadful storm is brewing; + Arm all your coasts_--your navy is your ruin. 130 + _I say it still; but (let me be believed) + In_ this _your lordships have been much deceiv'd. + A_ noble Duke _affirms, I like his plan: + I never did, my lords!--I never can-- + Shame on the slanderous breath! which dares instill 135 + That I, who now condemn, advis'd the ill_. + Plain words, _thank Heav'n! are always understood: + I_ could _approve, I said--but not I_ wou'd. + _Anxious to make the_ noble Duke _content, } + My view was just to seem to give consent, 140 } + While all the world might see that nothing less was meant._" } + While JEKYLL thus, the rich exhaustless store + Of LANSDOWNE's rhetoric ponders o'er and o'er; + And, wrapt in happier dreams of future days, + His patron's triumphs in his own surveys; 145 + Admiring barristers in crouds resort + From Figtree--Brick--Hare--Pump--and Garden court. + Anxious they gaze--and watch with silent awe + The motley son of politics and law. + Meanwhile, with softest smiles and courteous bows, 150 + He, graceful bending, greets their ardent vows. + "Thanks, generous friends," he cries, "kind Templers, thanks! + Tho' now, with LANSDOWNE's band your JEKYLL ranks, + Think not, he wholly quits _black-letter_ cares; + Still--still the _lawyer_ with the _statesman_ shares." 155 + But, see! the shades of night o'erspread the skies! + Thick fogs and vapours from the Thames arise. + Far different hopes our separate toils inspire: + To _parchment_ you, and _precedent_ retire. + With deeper bronze your darkest looks imbrown, 160 + Adjust your brows for the _demurring_ frown: + Brood o'er the fierce _rebutters_ of the bar, + And brave the _issue_ of the gowned war. + Me, all unpractis'd in the bashful mood, + Strange, novice thoughts, and alien cares delude. 165 + Yes, _modest_ Eloquence! ev'n _I_ must court + For once, with mimic vows, thy coy support; + Oh! would'st thou lend the semblance of my charms! + Feign'd agitations, and assum'd alarms! + 'Twere all I'd ask:--but for one day alone 170 + To ape thy downcast look--my suppliant tone: + To pause--and bow with hesitating grace-- + Here try to faulter--there a word misplace: + Long-banish'd blushes this pale cheek to teach, + And act the miseries of a _maiden speech_. 175 + + + + +PROBATIONARY +ODES +FOR +_THE LAUREATSHIP:_ +WITH +A PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +SIR JOHN HAWKINS, KNT. + + + + +PRELIMINARY DISCOURSE, +BY +THE EDITOR. + +Having, in the year seventeen hundred and seventy-six, put forth +A HISTORY OF MUSIC, in five volumes quarto (which buy), +notwithstanding my then avocations as Justice of the Peace for the +county of Middlesex and city and liberty of Westminster; I, Sir John +Hawkins, of Queen-square, Westminster, Knight, do now, being still of +sound health and understanding, esteem it my bounden duty to +step forward as Editor and Revisor of THE PROBATIONARY ODES. +My grand reason for undertaking so arduous a task is this: I do +from my soul believe that Lyric Poetry is the own, if not twin sister +of Music; wherefore, as I had before gathered together every thing +that any way relates to the one, with what consistency could I forbear +to collate the best effusions of the other?--I should premise, +that in volume the first of my quarto history, chap. i. page 7, +I lay it down as a principle never to be departed from, that, "_The +Lyre is the prototype of the fidicinal species_." And accordingly +I have therein discussed at large, both the origin, and various +improvements of the Lyre, from the Tortoise-shell scooped and strung +by Mercury on the banks of the Nile, to the Testudo, exquisitely +polished by Terpander, and exhibited to the AEgyptian Priests. +I have added also many choice engravings of the various antique Lyres, +viz. the Lyre of Goats-horns, the Lyre of Bullshorns, the Lyre +of Shells, and the Lyre of both Shells and Horns compounded; +from all which, I flatter myself, I have indubitably proved the Lyre +to be very far superior to the shank bone of a crane, or any other +Pike, Fistula, or Calamus, either of Orpheus's or Linus's invention; +ay, or even the best of those pulsatile instruments, commonly known by +the denomination of the drum. + +Forasmuch, therefore, as all this was finally proved and established +by my History of Music, I say, I hold it now no alien task to somewhat +turn my thoughts to the late divines specimens of Lyric Minstrelsy. +For although I may be deemed the legal guardian of MUSIC alone, +and consequently not in strictness bound to any farther duty than +that of her immediate Wardship (see Burn's Justice, article Guardian), +yet surely, in equity and liberal feeling, I cannot but think myself +very forcibly incited to extend this tutelage to her next of kin; +in which degree I hold every individual follower of THE LYRIC MUSE, +but more especially all such part of them, as have devoted, or do +devote their strains to the celebration of those best of themes, +the reigning King and the current year; or in other words, of all +Citharistae Regis, Versificators Coronae, Court Poets, or as we now +term them, Poets Laureats.--Pausanias tells us, that it pleased +the God of Poets himself, by an express oracle, to order the +inhabitants of Delphi to set apart for Pindar one half of the first +fruit offerings brought by the religious to his shrine, and to allow +him a place in his temple, where, in an iron chair, he was used +to sit and sing his hymns in honour of that God. Would to heaven +that the Bench of Bishops would, in some degree, adopt this +excellent idea!--or at least that the Dean and Chapter of Westminster, +and the other Managers of the Abbey Music Meetings, would in future +allot the occasional vacancies of Madame Mara's seat in the Cathedral +Orchestra, for the reception of the reigning Laureat, during +the performance of that favourite constitutional ballad, "May the King +live for ever!" It must be owned, however, that the Laureatship is +already a very kingly settlement; one hundred a year, together with +a tierce of Canary, or a butt of sack, are surely most princely +endowments, for the honour of literature and the advancement of +poetical genius. And hence (thank God and the King for it!) there +scarcely ever has been wanting some great and good man both willing +and able to supply so important a charge.--At one time we find that +great immortal genius, Mr. Thomas Shadwell (better known by the +names of Og and Mac Flecknoe), chanting the prerogative praises +of that blessed aera.--At a nearer period, we observe the whole force +of Colley Cibber's genius devoted to the labours of the same +reputable employment.--And finally, in the example of a Whitehead's +Muse, expatiating on the virtues of our gracious Sovereign, have we +not beheld the best of Poets, in the best of Verses, doing ample +justice to the best of Kings!--The fire of Lyric Poesy, the rapid +lightening of modern Pindarics, were equally required to record the +Virtues of the Stuarts, or to immortalize the Talents of a +Brunswick.--On either theme there was ample subject for the boldest +flights of inventive genius, the full scope for the most daring powers +of poetical creation; from the free, unfettered strain of liberty +in honour of Charles the First, to the kindred Genius and congenial +Talents that immortalize the Wisdom and the Worth of George the +Third.--But on no occasion has the ardour for prerogative panegyrics so +conspicuously flamed forth, as on the late election for succeeding +to Mr. Whitehead's honours. To account for this unparalleled struggle, +let us recollect, that the ridiculous reforms of the late Parliament +having cut off many gentlemanly offices, it was a necessary +consequence that the few which were spared, became objects of rather +more emulation than usual. Besides, there is a decency and regularity +in producing at fixed and certain periods of the year, the same +settled quantity of metre on the same unalterable subjects, which +cannot fail to give a particular attraction to the Office of the +Laureatship, at a crisis like the present.--It is admitted, that we +are now in possession of much sounder judgment, and more regulated +taste, than our ancestors had any idea of; and hence, does it not +immediately follow, that the occupancy of a poetical office, which, +from its uniformity of subject and limitation of duty, precludes all +hasty extravagance of style, as well as any plurality of efforts, +is sure to be a more pleasing object than ever to gentlemen of +regular habits and a becoming degree of literary indolence? Is it not +evident too, that in compositions of this kind, all fermentation of +thought is certain in a very short time to subside and settle into +mild and gentle composition--till at length the possessors of this +grave and orderly office prepare their stipulated return of metre, +by as proportionate and gradual exertions, as many other classes of +industrious tenants provide for the due payment of their particular +rents? Surely it is not too much to say, that the business of Laureat +to his Majesty is, under such provision, to the full as ingenious, +reputable, and regular a trade, as that of Almanack Maker to the +Stationer's Company. The contest therefore for so excellent an office, +having been warmer in the late instance than at any preceding period, +is perfectly to be accounted for; especially too at a time, when, +from nobler causes, the Soul of Genius may reasonably be supposed +to kindle into uncommon enthusiasm, at a train of new and unexampled +prodigies. In an age of Reform; beneath the mild sway of a British +Augustus; under the Ministry of a pure immaculate youth; the Temple +of Janus shut; the Trade of Otaheite open; not an angry American to +be heard of, except the Lottery Loyalists; the fine Arts in full +Glory; Sir William Chambers the Royal Architect; Lord Sydney a Cabinet +Minister!--What a golden aera!--From this auspicious moment, Peers, +Bishops, Baronets, Methodists, Members of Parliament, Chaplains, +all genuine Beaux Esprits, all legitimate heirs of Parnassus, +rush forward, with unfeigned ardour, to delight the world by the +united efforts of liberal genius and constitutional loyalty.--The +illustrious candidates assemble--the wisest of Earls sits as Judge--the +archest of Buffos becomes his assessor--the Odes are read--the election +is determined--how justly is not for us to decide. To the great +Tribunal of the public the whole of this important contest is now +submitted.--Every document that can illustrate, every testimony that +tends to support the respective merits of the Probationers, is +impartially communicated to the world of letters.--Even the Editor of +such a collection may hope for some reversionary fame from the humble, +but not inglorious task, of collecting the scattered rays of +Genius.--At the eve of a long laborious life, devoted to a sister Muse +(vide my History, printed for T. Payne and Son, at the Mews-Gate), +possibly it may not wholly appear an irregular vanity, if I sometimes +have entertained a hope, that my tomb may not want the sympathetic +record of Poetry--I avow my motive.-- + +It is with this expectation I appear as an Editor on the present +occasion.--The Authors whose compositions I collect for public notice +are twenty-three. The odds of survivorship, according to Doctor Price +are, that thirteen of these will outlive me, myself being in class +III. of his ingenious tables.--Surely, therefore, it is no mark of +that sanguine disposition which my enemies have been pleased to +ascribe to me, if I deem it possible that some one of the same +thirteen will requite my protection of their harmonious effusions with +a strain of elegiac gratitude, saying, possibly (pardon me, ye +Survivors that may be, for presuming to hint the thought to minds so +richly fraught as yours are) saying, I say, + + Here lies Sir John Hawkins, + Without his shoes or stockings![1] + +[1] Said Survivors are not bound to said Rhime, if not agreeable. + + + + +[The Following excellent observations on the LYRIC STYLE, have been +kindly communicated to the EDITOR by the REV. THOMAS WARTON.--They +appear to have been taken almost verbatim from several of the former +works of that ingenious author; but chiefly from his late edition +of _Milten's Minora_. We sincerely hope, therefore, that they may +serve the double purpose of enriching the present collection, and of +attracting the public attention to that very critical work from which +they are principally extracted.] + + +THOUGHTS ON ODE WRITING. + + +{ODE Molpe} Carmen, Cantus, Cantilena, Chanson, Canzone, all +signify what, Anglice, we denominate ODE--Among the Greeks, Pindar; +among the Latins, Horace; with the Italians, Petrarch; with the +French, Boileau; are the principes hujusce scientiae--Tom Killegrew +took the lead in English Lyrics; and, indeed, till our own Mason, was +nearly unrivalled--Josephus Miller too hath penned something of +the Odaic, _inter_ his _Opera Minora_. My grandfather had a M.S. Ode +on a Gilliflower, the which, as our family had it, was an _esquisse_ +of Gammer Gurton's; and I myself have seen various Cantilenes of +Stephen Duck's of a pure relish--Of Shadwell, time hath little +impaired the fame--Colley's Bays rust cankereth not--Dr. Casaubon +measures the Strophe by Anapaests--In the Polyglott, the epitrotus +primus is the metrimensura.--I venture to recommend "Waly, waly, +up the Bank," as no bad model of the pure Trochaic--There is also a +little simple strain, commencing "Saw ye my father, saw ye my mother;" +which to my fancy, gives an excellent ratio of hendecasyllables.--Dr. +Warton indeed prefers the Adonic, as incomparably the neatest, ay, and +the newest {molpes metrhon}----A notion too has prevailed, that the +Black Joke, or {Melamphyllai Daphnai} is not the "Cosa deta in prosa +mai, ne in rima;" whereas the _Deva Cestrensis_, or Chevy Chase, +according to Dr. Joseph Warton, is the exemplar of + + Trip and go, + Heave and hoe, + Up and down, + To and fro. + +Vide Nashe's Summer's Last Will and Testament, 1600. + +I observe that Ravishment is a favourite word with Milton, Paradise +Lost, B. V. 46. Again, B. IX. 541. Again, Com. V. 245.--Spenser has +it also in Astrophel. st. 7.--Whereof I earnestly recommend early +rising to all minor Poets, as far better than sleeping to concoct +surfeits. Vid. Apology for Smectymnuus.--For the listening to +Throstles or Thrushes, awaking the _lustless_ Sun, is an unreproved +or innocent pastime: As also are _cranks_, by which I understood +cross purposes. Vid. my Milton, 41.--"_Filling a wife with a daughter +fair_," is not an unclassical notion (vid. my Milton, 39), if, +according to Sir Richard Brathwaite, "She had a dimpled chin, +made for love to lodge within" (vid. my Milton, 41). "While the +_cock_," vid. the same, 44.--Indeed, "My mother said I could be no +_lad_, till I was twentye," is a passage I notice in my Milton with a +view to this; which see; and therein also of a shepherdess, "_taking +the tale_."--'Twere well likewise if Bards learned the Rebeck, +or Rebible, being a species of Fiddle; for it solaceth the fatigued +spirit much; though to say the truth, we have it; 'tis present death +for Fiddlers to tune their Rebecks, or Rebibles, before the great +Turk's grace. However, _Middteton's Game of Chess_ is good for a Poet +to peruse, having quaint phrases fitting _to be married to immortal +verse_. JOSHUA POOLE, of Clare-hall, I also recommend as an apt guide +for an alumnus of the Muse.--Joshua edited a choice Parnassus, 1657, +in the which I find many "delicious, mellow hangings" of poesy.--He +is undoubtedly a "sonorous dactylist"--and to him I add Mr. Jenner, +Proctor of the Commons, and Commissary of St. Paul's, who is a +gentleman of indefatigable politeness in opening the Archives of a +Chapter-house for the delectation of a sound critic. _Tottell's Songs +and Sonnets of uncertain Auctoures_ is likewise a _butful_, or +plenteous work. I conclude with assuring the Public, that my brother +remembers to have heard my father tell his (i.e. my brother's) first +wife's second cousin, that he, once, at Magdalen College, Oxford, had +it explained to him, that the famous passage "His reasons are as two +grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff," has no sort of reference +to verbal criticism and stale quotations. + + + + +RECOMMENDATORY +TESTIMONIES. + +[According to the old and laudable usage of Editors, we shall now +present our Readers with the judgments of the learned concerning +our Poets.--These Testimonies, if they proceed from critical pens, +cannot fail to have due influence on all impartial observers. +They _pass_ an author from one end of the kingdom to the other, +as rapidly as the pauper Certificates of Magistracy.--Indeed, +it were much to be wished, that as we have no State Licenser of +Poetry, it might at least be made penal, to put forth rhymes without +previously producing a certain number of sureties for their goodness +and utility; which precaution, if assisted with a few other +regulations, such as requiring all Practitioners in Verse to take +out a License, in the manner of many other Dealers in Spirits, &c. +could not fail to introduce good order among this class of authors, +and also to bring in a handsome sum towards the aid of the public +revenue.--Happy indeed will be those Bards, who are supplied with +as reputable vouchers as those which are here subjoined.] + + +_Testimonies of Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY'_s good Parts for Poetry_. + + +MISS HANNAH MORE. + +"Sir JOSEPH, with the gentlest sympathy, begged me to contrive +that he should meet _Lactilla_, in her morning walk, towards the +Hot-Wells. I took the proper measures for this _tete-a-tete_ between +my two _naturals_, as I call this uneducated couple.--It succeeded +beyond my utmost hopes.--For the first ten minutes they exchanged +a world of simple observations on the different species of the brute +creation, to which each had most obligations.--Lactilla praised +her Cows--Sir Joseph his Hogs.--An artless eclogue, my dear madam, +but warm from the heart.--At last the Muse took her turn on the +_tapis_ of simple dialogue.--In an instant both kindled into all the +fervors--the delightful fervors, that are better imagined than +described.--Suffice it to relate the sequel--_Lactilla_ pocketed a +generous half-crown, and Sir Joseph was inchanted! Heavens! what would +this amiable Baronet have been, with the education of a curate?" + + _Miss Hannah More's Letter to the Duchess of Chandos._ + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ JONAS HANWAY, _Esq_. + +"In short, these poor children who are employed in sweeping our +chimnies, are not treated half so well as so many black Pigs--nor, +indeed, a hundredth part so well, where the latter have the good +fortune to belong to a benevolent master, such as Sir Joseph MAWBEY--a +man who, notwithstanding he is a bright Magistrate, a diligent Voter +in Parliament, and a chaste husband, is nevertheless author of not a +few fancies in the poetical way." + + _Thoughts on our savage Treatment of Chimney-sweepers_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimonies in Favour of Sir_ CECIL WRAY, _Bart_. + +DR. STRATFORD[1]. + + ALCANDER, thou'rt a God, more than a God! + Thou'rt pride of all the Gods--thou mount'st by woes-- + Hell squeaks, Eurus and Auster shake the skies-- + Yet shall thy barge dance through the hissing wave, + And on the foaming billows float to heaven! + + _Epistle to Sir Cecil Wray, under the + Character of Alcander_. + +[1] Author of 58 Tragedies, only one of which, to the disgrace +of our Theatres, has yet appeared. + + * * * * * + +OF THE SAME. + +_By_ MRS. GEORGE ANNE BELLAMY. + +"I was sitting one evening (as indeed I was wont to do when out +of cash) astride the ballustrade of Westminster-bridge, with my +favourite little dog under my arm. I had that day parted with +my diamond windmill.--Life was never very dear to me--but a +thousand thoughts then rushed into my heart, to jump this world, +and spring into eternity.--I determined that my faithful Pompey +should bear me company.--I pressed him close, and actually stretched +out, fully resolved to plunge into the stream; when, luckily +(ought I to call it so?) that charming fellow (for such he then was), +Sir Cecil WRAY, catching hold of Pompey's tail, pulled him back, +and with him pulled back me.--In a moment I found myself in a +clean hackney-coach, drawn by grey horses, with a remarkable +civil coachman, fainting in my Cecil's arms; and though I then +lost a little diamond pin, yet (contrary to what I hear has been +asserted) I NEVER prosecuted that gallant Baronet; who, in less +than a fortnight after, with his usual wit and genius, dispatched me +the following extempore poem: + + While you prepar'd, dear Anne, on Styx to sail-- + Lo! one dog sav'd you by another's tail. + +To which, in little more than a month, I penned, and sent the +following reply: + + You pinch'd my dog, 'tis true, and check'd my sail-- + But then my pin--ah, there you squeezed _my_ tail. + + _Ninth volume of Mrs. George Anne Bellamy's Apology, + now preparing for the press_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the great Parts of_ CONSTANTINE, LORD MULGRAVE, +_and his Brethren_. + +MR. BOSWELL. + +"Among those who will vote for continuing the old established +number of our Session Justices, may I not count on the tribe +of Phipps.--they love good places; and I know Mulgrave is a bit +of a poet as well as myself; for I dined in company once, where he +dined that very day twelvemonth. My excellent wife, who is a true +Montgomery, and whom I like now as well as I did twenty years ago, +adores the man who felt for the maternal pangs of a whelpless bear. +For my own part, however, there is no action I more constantly +ridicule, than his Lordship's preposterous pity for those very +sufferings which he himself occasioned, by ordering his sailors +to shoot the young bears.----But though _I_ laugh at _him_, how +handsome will it be if _he_ votes against Dundas to oblige _me_. +My disliking him and his family is no reason for his disliking me--on +the contrary, if he opposes us, is it not probable that that great +young man, whom I sincerely adore, may say, in his own lofty language, +"Mulgrave, Mulgrave, don't vex the Scotch!--don't provoke 'em! God +damn your ugly head!--if we don't crouch to Bute, we shall all be +turned out; God eternally damn you for a stupid boar! I know we shall! +Pardon me, great Sir, for presuming to forge the omnipotent bolts of +your Incomparable thunder." + + _Appendix to Mr. Baswell's Pamphlet on the Scotch Judges._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXALL, _Esq. his great Merit._ + +LORD MONBODDO. + +"Since I put forth my last volume, I have read the excellent Ode +of Mr. Wraxall, and was pleased to find that bold apostrophe in +his delicious lyric, + + "Hail, Ouran Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi!" + + +"My principles are now pretty universally known; but on this occasion +I will repeat them succinctly. I believe, from the bottom of my soul, +that all mankind are absolute Ouran Outangs. That the feudal tenures +are the great cause of our not retaining the perfect appearance of +Ourans--That human beings originally moved on all fours--That we +had better move in the same way again--That there has been giants +ninety feet high--That such giants ought to have moved on all +fours--That we all continue to be Ouran Outangs still--some more so, +some less--but that Nathaniel William WRAXALL, Esq. is the truest +Ouran Outang in Great Britain, and therefore ought immediately +to take to all fours, and especially to make all his motions +in Parliament in that way." + + _Postscript to Lard Monboddo's Ancient Metaphysics._ + + * * * * * + +_Testimony of the Great Powers for Poesy, innate in_ MICHAEL ANGELO +TAYLOR, _Esq_. + +DR. BURNEY. + +I shall myself compose Mr. Taylor's Ode----His merit I admire----his +origin I have traced.--He is descended from Mr. John Taylor, the +famous Water Poet, who with good natural talents, never proceeded +farther in education than his accidence.--John Taylor was born in +Gloucestershire.--I find that he was bound apprentice to a +Waterman--but in process of time kept a public house in Phoenix-alley, +Long-acre[1]. Read John's modest recital of his humble culture-- + + "I must confess I do want eloquence, + And never scarce did learn my Accidence; + For having got from Possum to Posset, + I there was gravell'd, nor could farther get." + +John wrote fourscore books, but died in 1654. Here you have John's +Epitaph-- + + "Here lies the Water Poet, honest John, + Who rowed on the streams of Helicon; + Where, having many rocks and dangers past, + He at the haven of heav'n arrived at last." + +There is a print of John, holding an oar in one hand, and an empty +purse in the other.--Motto--_Et habeo_, meaning the oar--_Et careo_, +meaning the cash.--It is too bold a venture to predict a close analogy +'twixt _John_ and _Michael_--Sure am I, + + If Michael goeth on, as Michael hath begun, + Michael will equal be to famous Taylor John. + +I shall publish both the Taylor's works, with the score of Michael's +Ode, some short time hence, in as thin a quarto as my Handel's +Commemoration, price one guinea in boards, with a view of John's +house in Phoenix-alley, and Sir Robert's carriage, as Sheriff of +London and Middlesex. + +[1] This anecdote was majestically inserted in my manuscript copy +of Handel's Commemoration, by that Great Personage to whose judgment +I submitted it. (I take every occasion of shewing the insertion as +a good puff.--I wish, however, the same hand had subscribed for +the book..) I did not publish any of the said alterations in that +work, reserving some of them for my edition of _The Tayloria_. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony for_ PEPPER ARDEN, _Esq.--In Answer to a Case for the +Opinion of_ GEORGE HARDINGE, _Esq. Attorney General to her Majesty._ + +I have perused this Ode, and find it containeth _eight hundred_ +and _forty-seven_ WORDS--_two thousand one hundred_ and _four_ +SYLLABLES--_four thousand three hundred_ and _forty-four_ +LETTERS[1].--It is, therefore, my opinion, that said Ode is a good and +complete title to all those fees, honours, perquisites, emoluments, and +gratuities, usually annexed, adjunct to, and dependant on, the office +of Poet Laureat, late in the occupation of William Whitehead, Esq. +defunct. + + G. HARDINGE. + +[1] See the learned Gentleman's arithmetical Speech on the Westminster +Scrutiny. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of Sir_ RICHARD HILL, _Bart_. + +LORD GEORGE GORDON. + +_To the_ EDITOR _of the_ PUBLIC ADVERTISER. + +MR. PRINTER, +I call upon all the Privy Council, Charles Jenkinson, Mr. Bond, +and the Lord Mayor of London, to protect my person from the Popish +Spies set over me by the Cabinet of William Pitt.--On Thursday ult. +having read the Ode of my friend, Sir Richard, in a print amicable +to my Protestant Brethren, and approving it, I accordingly visited +that pious Baronet, who, if called on, will verify the same.--I then +told Sir Richard what I now repeat, that George the Third ought to +send away all Papist Ambassadors.----I joined Sir Richard, Lady Hill, +and her cousin, in an excellent hymn, turned from the 1st of Matthew, +by Sir Richard.--I hereby recommend it to the eighty Societies of +Protestants in Glasgow, knowing it to be sound orthodox truth; for +that purpose, Mr. Woodfall, I now entrust it to your special care, +conjuring you to print it, as you hope to be saved. + + Salmon begat Booz-- + Booz begat Obed-- + Obed begat Jesse, so as + Jesse begat David. + + AMEN. + + And I am, Sir, + Your humble Servant, + GEO. GORDON. + + * * * * * + +_Testimony in Favour of_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT'_s Poetical Talents._ + +WARREN HASTINGS, _Esq._ + +_In an Extract from a private Letter to a Great Personage._ + +"I trust, therefore, that the rough diamonds will meet with your +favourable construction. They will be delivered by my excellent +friend, Major John Scott, who, in obedience to my orders, has taken +a seat in Parliament, and published sundry tracts on my integrity. +I can venture to recommend him as an impenetrable arguer, no man's +propositions flowing in a more deleterious stream; no man's +expressions so little hanging on the thread of opinion.--He has it in +command to compose the best and most magnificent Ode on your Majesty's +birthday. + + "What can I say more?" + + + + +A FULL AND TRUE +ACCOUNT +OF THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON'S ASCENSION +FROM +CHRIST-CHURCH MEADOW, OXFORD, + +(In the Balloon of James Sadler, Pastry-Cook to the said University) +on Friday the 20th of May, 1785, for the purpose of composing +a sublime ODE in honour of his Majesty's Birth-day; attested +before JOHN WEYLAND, Esq. one of his Majesty's Justices of the Peace +for the County of Oxford.[1] + +It was in obedience to the advice of my brother, Dr. Joseph Warton, +that I came to a determination, on the fifth of May ult. to compose +my first Birth-day Ode, at the elevation of one mile above the earth, +in the Balloon of my ingenious friend, Mr. James Sadler, of this city. +Accordingly, having agreed for the same, at a very moderate rate +per hour (I paying all charges of inflating, and standing to repairs), +at nine in the morning, on Friday, the 28th of said month, I repaired +to Christ-church meadow, with my ballast, provisions, cat, speaking +trumpet, and other necessaries.--It was my first design to have +invited Dr. Joseph to have ascended with me; but apprehending the +malicious construction that might follow on this, as if, forsooth, +my intended ode was to be a joint production, I e'en made up my mind +to mount alone.--My provisions principally consisted of a small pot +of stewed prunes, and half of a plain diet-bread cake, both prepared, +and kindly presented to me, by the same ingenious hand which had +fabricated the Balloon. I had also a small subsidiary stock, viz. +a loaf of Sandwiches, three bottles of old ale, a pint of brandy, +a sallad ready mixed, a roll of collared eel, a cold goose, six +damson tartlets, a few china oranges, and a roasted pig of the +Chinese breed; together with a small light barometer, and a proper +store of writing utensils; but no note, memorandum, nor loose hint +of any kind, so help me God!----My ascension was majestic, to an +uncommon degree of tardiness. I was soon constrained, therefore, +to lighten my Balloon, by throwing out some part of my ballast, +which consisted of my own History of Poetry, my late edition of +Milton's Minora, my Miscellaneous Verses, Odes, Sonnets, Elegies, +Inscriptions, Monodies, and Complaints; my Observations on Spencer, +the King's last Speech, and Lord Montmorres's pamphlet on the +Irish Resolutions. On throwing out his Lordship's Essay, the Balloon +sprang up surprisingly; but the weight of my provisions still +retarding the elevation, I was fain to part with both volumes of +my Spencer, and all of my last edition of Poems, except those that +are marked with an asterisk, as never before printed: which very +quickly accelerated my ascension. I now found the barometer had +fallen four inches and six lines, in eight minutes.--In less than +eleven minutes after I had ascended very considerably indeed, +the barometer having then fallen near seventeen inches; and presently +after I entered a thick black cloud, which I have since found +rendered me wholly obscured to all observation. In this situation. +I lost no time to begin my Ode; and, accordingly, in the course +of twenty-five minutes, I produced the very lines which now commence +it. The judicious critic will notice, that absence of the plain +and trite style which mark the passage I refer to; nor am I so +uncandid to deny the powerful efficacy of mist, darkness, and +obscurity, on the sublime and mysterious topics I there touch on--It +cannot fail also to strike the intelligent observer, that the +expression so much commented on, of "_No echoing car_," was obviously +suggested by that very car in which I myself was then seated--Finding, +however, that, together with the increased density of the +overshadowing cloud, the coldness also was proportionally increased, +so as at one time to freeze my ink completely over for near twenty +minutes, I thought it prudent, by means of opening the valve at the +vortex of my Balloon, to emit part of the ascending power. This +occasioned a proportioned descent very speedily: but I must not +overlook a phaenomenon which had previously occurred.----It was this: +on a sudden the nibs of all my pens (and I took up forty-eight, in +compliment to the number of my Sovereign's years) as if attracted by +the polar power, pointed upwards, each pen erecting itself +perpendicular, and resting on the point of its feather: I found also, +to my no small surprize, that during the whole of this period, every +one of my letters was actually cut topsy-turvy-wise; which I the +rather mention, to account for any appearance of a correspondent +inversion in the course of my ideas at that period. + +On getting nearer the earth, the appearances I have described +altogether ceased, and I instantly penned the second division of +my Ode; I mean that which states his most excellent Majesty to be +the patron of the fine arts. But here (for which I am totally at +a loss to account) I found myself descending so very rapidly, that +even after I had thrown out not only two volumes of my History +of Poetry, but also a considerable portion of my pig, I struck, +nevertheless, with such violence on the weather-cock of a church, +that unless I had immediately parted with the remainder of my ballast, +excepting only his Majesty's Speech, one pen, the paper of my Ode, +and a small ink-bottle, I must infallibly have been a-ground. +Fortunately, by so rapid a discharge, I procured a quick re-ascension; +when immediately, though much pinched with the cold, the mercury +having suddenly fallen twenty-two inches, I set about my concluding +stanza, viz. that which treats of his Majesty's most excellent +chastity. And here I lay my claim to the indulgence of the critics +to that part of my ode; for what with the shock I had received +in striking on the weather-cock, and the effect of the prunes +which I had now nearly exhausted, on a sudden I found myself +very much disordered indeed. Candour required my just touching +on this circumstance; but delicacy must veil the particulars +in eternal oblivion. At length, having completed the great object +of my ascent, I now re-opened the valve, and descended with great +rapidity. They only who have travelled in Balloons, can imagine +the sincere joy of my heart, at perceiving Dr. Joseph cantering up +a turnip-field, near Kidlington Common, where I landed exactly at +a quarter after two o'clock; having, from my first elevation, +completed the period of five hours and fifteen minutes; four of +which, with the fraction of ten seconds, were entirely devoted to +my Ode.--Dr. Joseph quite hugged me in his arms, and kindly lent me +a second wig (my own being thrown over at the time of my striking), +which, with his usual precaution, he had brought in his pocket, +in case of accidents. I take this occasion also to pay my thanks +to Thomas Gore, Esq. for some excellent milk-punch, which he +directed his butler to furnish me with most opportunely; and which +I then thought the most solacing beverage I ever had regaled withal. +Dr Joseph and myself reached Oxford in the Dilly by five in the +evening, the populace most handsomely taking off the horses for +something more than the last half mile, in honour of the first +Literary Areonaut of these kingdoms-- + + _As witness my hand this 22d of May, 1785_, THOMAS WARTON. + +CERTIFICATE. + +_County of Oxford to wit, 22nd of May, 1785._ +This is to certify, to all whom it may concern, That the aforesaid +Thomas and Joseph Warton came before me, one of his Majesty's +Justices of the Peace for the said county, and did solemnly make +oath to the truth of the above case. + His + Sworn before me, JOHN + WEYLAND. + Mark. + + +[1] It cannot fail to attract the Reader's particular attention +to this very curious piece, to inform him, that Signor Delpini's +decision, in favour of Mr. Warton, was chiefly grounded on the new +and extraordinary style of writing herein attested. + + + + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +On the demise of the late excellent Bard, William Whitehead, Esq. +Poet Laureat to his Majesty, it was decidedly the opinion of +his Majesty's great superintendant Minister, that the said office +should be forthwith declared elective, and in future continue so; +in order as well to provide the ablest successor on the present +melancholy occasion, as also to secure a due preference to superior +talents, upon all future vacancies: it was in consequence of this +determination, that the following Public Notice issued from the +Lord Chamberlain's Office, and became the immediate cause of the +celebrated contest that is recorded in these pages. + + * * * * * + +ADVERTISEMENT. +_Lord Chamberlain's Office, April 26._ + +In order to administer strict and impartial justice to the numerous +candidates for the vacant POET LAUREATSHIP, many of whom are of +illustrious birth, and high character, + +Notice is hereby given, That the same form will be attended to +in receiving the names of the said Candidates, which is invariably +observed in registering the Court Dancers. The list to be finally +closed on Friday evening next. + +Each Candidate is expected to deliver in a PROBATIONARY BIRTH-DAY ODE, +with his name, and also personally to appear on a future day, to +recite the same before such literary judges as the Lord Chamberlain, +in his wisdom, may appoint. + + * * * * * + +LAUREAT ELECTION. + + +[The following Account, though modestly stiled a _Hasty Sketch_, +according to the known delicacy of the Editorial Style, is in fact +_A Report_, evidently penned by the hand of a Master.] + +HASTY SKETCH _of Wednesday's Business at the_ LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S +OFFICE. + +In consequence of the late general notice, given by public +advertisement, of an _open election_ for the vacant office of _Poet +Laureat_ to their Majesties, on the terms of Probationary +Compositions, a considerable number of the most eminent characters in +the fashionable world assembled at the _Lord Chamberlain's Office_, +Stable-yard, St. James's, on Wednesday last, between the hours of +twelve and two, when Mr. _Ramus_ was immediately dispatched to Lord +Salisbury's, acquainting his Lordship therewith, and soliciting his +attendance to receive the several candidates, and admit their +respective tenders. His Lordship arriving in a short time after, the +following Noblemen and Gentlemen were immediately presented to his +Lordship by _John Calvert, Jun. Esq._ in quality of Secretary to the +office. _James Eley, Esq._ and Mr. _Samuel Betty_, attended also as +first and second Clerk, the following list of candidates was made out +forthwith, and duly entered on the roll, as a preliminary record to +the subsequent proceedings. + +The Right Rev. Dr. William Markham, Lord Archbishop of York. +The Right Hon. Edward, Lord Thurlow, Lord High Chancellor of Great + Britain. +The Most Noble James, Marquis of Graham. +The Right Hon. Harvey Redmond, Visc. Montmorres, of the kingdom of + Ireland. +The Right Hon. Constantine, Lord Mulgrave, ditto. +The Right Hon. Henry Dundas. +Sir George Howard, K.B. +Sir Cecil Wray, Baronet. +Sir Joseph Mawbey, ditto. +Sir Richard Hill, ditto. +Sir Gregory Page Turner, ditto. +The Rev. William Mason, B.D. +The Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. +The Rev. George Prettyman, D.D. +The Rev, Joseph Warton, D.D. +Pepper Arden, Esq. Attorney-General to his Majesty. +Michael Angelo Taylor, Esq. M.P. +James M'Pherson, Esq. ditto. +Major John Scott, ditto. +Nath. William Wraxhall, Esq. ditto. +Mons. Le Mesurier, Membre du Parlement d'Angleterre. + +The several candidates having taken their places at a table provided +for the occasion, the Lord Chamberlain, in the politest manner, +signified his wish that each candidate would forthwith recite some +sample of his poetry as he came provided with for the occasion; +at the same time most modestly confessing his own inexperience +in all such matters, and intreating their acquiescence therefore +in his appointment of his friend _Mr. Delpini_, of the Hay-Market +Theatre, as an active and able assessor on so important an occasion. +Accordingly, _Mr. Delpini_ being immediately introduced, the several +candidates proceeded to recite their compositions, according to +their rank and precedence in the above list--both his Lordship and +his assessor attended throughout the whole of the readings with +the profoundest respect, and taking no refreshment whatsoever, +except some China oranges and biscuit, which were also handed about +to the company by _Mr. John Secker_, Clerk of the Houshold, and +_Mr. William Wise_, Groom of the Buttery. + +At half after five, the readings being completed, his Lordship and +_Mr. Delpini_ retired to an adjoining chamber; _Mrs. Elizabeth Dyer_, +Keeper of the Butter and Egg Office, and _Mr. John Hook_, Deliverer +of Greens, being admitted to the candidates with several other +refreshments suitable to the fatigue of the day. Two Yeomen of +the Mouth and a Turn-broacher attended likewise; and indeed every +exertion was made to conduct the little occasional repast that +followed with the utmost decency and convenience; the whole being +at the expence of the Crown, notwithstanding every effort to the +contrary on the part of _Mr. Gilbert_. + +At length the awful moment arrived, when the _detur digniori_ was +finally to be pronounced on the busy labours of the day--never +did Lord Salisbury appear to greater advantage--never did his +assessor more amusingly console the discomfitures of the failing +candidates--every thing that was affable, every thing that was +mollifying, was ably expressed by both the judges; but poetical +ambition is not easily allayed. When the fatal _fiat_ was announced +in favour of the Rev. Thomas Warton, a general gloom overspread +the whole society--a still and awful silence long prevailed. +At length Sir Cecil Wray started up, and emphatically pronounced +_a scrutiny! a scrutiny!_--A shout of applause succeeded--in vain +did the incomparable Buffo introduce his most comic gestures--in +vain was his admirable leg pointed horizontally at every head in +the room--a scrutiny was demanded--and a scrutiny was granted. +In a word, the Lord Chamberlain declared his readiness to submit +the productions of the day to the inspection of the public, reserving +nevertheless to himself and his assessor, the full power of annulling +or establishing the sentence already pronounced. It is in consequence +of the above direction, that we shall now give the public the said +PROBATIONARY VERSES, commencing with those, however, which are the +production of such of the candidates as most vehemently insisted +on the right of appeal, conceiving such priority to be injustice +granted to the persons whose public spirit has given so lucky a +turn to this poetical election. According to the above order, the +first composition that we lay before the public is the following:-- + + + + +_NUMBER I._ + +IRREGULAR ODE. + +The WORDS by SIR CECIL WRAY, BART. + +The SPELLING by Mr. GROJAN, _Attorney at Law._ + + HARK! hark!--hip! hip!--hoh! hoh! + What a mort of bards are a-singing! + Athwart--across--below---- + I'm sure there's a dozen a dinging! + I hear sweet Shells, loud Harps, large Lyres-- + Some, I trow, are tun'd by Squires-- + Some by Priests, and some by Lords!--while Joe and I + Our _bloody hands_, hoist up, like meteors, on high! + Yes, _Joe_ and I + Are em'lous--Why? + It is because, great CAESAR, you are clever-- + Therefore we'd sing of you for ever! + Sing--sing--sing--sing + God save the King! + Smile then, CAESAR, smile on _Wray_! + Crown at last his _poll_ with bay!---- + Come, oh! bay, and with thee bring + Salary, illustrious thing!---- + Laurels vain of Covent-garden, + I don't value you a farding!---- + Let sack my soul cheer + For 'tis sick of small beer! + CAESAR! CAESAR! give it--do! + Great CAESAR giv't all, for my Muse 'doreth you!-- + Oh fairest of the Heavenly Nine, + Enchanting _Syntax_, Muse divine! + Whether on _Phoebus_' hoary head, + By blue-ey'd _Rhadamanthus_ led, + Or with young _Helicon_ you stray, + Where mad _Parnassus_ points the way;-- + Goddess of _Elizium_'s hill, + Descend upon my _Paean_'s quill.---- + The light Nymph hears--no more + By _Pegasus_' meand'ring shore, + _Ambrosia_ playful boy, + Plumbs her _jene scai quoi!_---- + I mount!--I mount!-- + I'm half a _Lark_--I'm half an _Eagle_! + Twelve stars I count---- + I see their dam-- she is a _Beagle_! + Ye Royal little ones, + I love your flesh and bones-- + You are an arch, rear'd with immortal stones! + _Hibernia_ strikes his harp! + Shuttle, fly!--woof! wed! warp! + Far, far, from me and you, + In latitude North 52.-- + Rebellion's hush'd, + The merchant's flush'd;-- + Hail, awful _Brunswick, Saxe-Gotha_, hail! + Not _George_, but _Louis_, now shall turn his tail! + Thus, I a-far from mad debate, + Like an old wren, + With my good hen, + Or a young gander, + Am a by-stander, + To all the peacock pride, and vain regards of state!-- + Yet if the laurel _prize_, + Dearer than my eyes, + Curs'd _Warton_ tries + For to surprize, + By the eternal God I'll SCRUTINIZE! + + + + +_NUMBER II._ + +ODE ON THE NEW YEAR, + +By LORD MULGRAVE. + + +STROPHE. + + O for a Muse of Fire, + With blazing thumbs to touch my torpid lyre! + Now in the darksome regions round the Pole, + Tigers fierce, and Lions bold, + With wild affright would see the snow-hills roll, + Their sharp teeth chattering with the cold-- + But that Lions dwell not there---- + Nor beast, nor Christian--none but the _White Bear!_ + The White Bear howls amid the tempest's roar, + And list'ning Whales swim headlong from the shore! + + +ANTISTROPHE. (By _Brother_ HARRY.) + + Farewel awhile, ye summer breezes! + What is the life of man? + A span! + Sometimes it thaws, sometimes it freezes, + Just as it pleases! + If Heaven decrees, fierce whirlwinds rend the air, + And then again (behold!) 'tis fair! + Thus peace and war on earth alternate reign: + Auspicious GEORGE, thy powerful word + Gives peace to France and Spain, + And sheaths the martial sword! + + +STROPHE II. (By _Brother_ CHARLES.) + + And now gay Hope, her anchor dropping, + And blue-ey'd Peace, and black-ey'd Pleasures, + And Plenty in light cadence hopping, + Fain would dance to WHITEHEAD's measures. + But WHITEHEAD now in death reposes, + Crown'd with laurel! crown'd with roses! + Yet we, with laurel crown'd, his dirge will sing, + And thus deserve fresh laurels from the KING. + + + + +_NUMBER III._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY, BART. + + +STROPHE. + + HARK!--to yon heavenly skies, + Nature's congenial perfumes upwards rise! + From each throng'd stye + That saw my gladsome eye, + Incense, quite smoking hot, arose, + And caught my _seven sweet senses_--by the _nose_! + + +AIR--_accompanied by the_ LEARNED PIG. + + Tell me, dear Muse, oh! tell me, pray, + Why JOEY's fancy frisks so gay; + Is it!--you slut it is--some _holy--holiday!_ + [_Here Muse Whispers I,--Sir Joseph._] + Indeed!--Repeat the fragrant sound! + Push love, and loyalty around, + Through _Irish_, _Scotch_, as well as _British_ ground! + + +CHORUS. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE, _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING! + + +AIR--_with Lutes._ + + Well might my dear lady say, + As lamb-like by her side I lay, + This very, very morn; + Hark! JOEY, hark! + I hear the lark, + Or else it is--the sweet _Sowgelder_'s horn! + + +ANTISTROPHE. + + Forth, from their styes, the bristly victims lead; + A score of HOGS, flat on their backs, shall bleed. + Mind they be such on which good Gods might feast! + And that + In lily fat + They cut six inches on the ribs, at least! + + +DUET--_with Marrow-bones and Cleavers._ + + _Butcher_ and _Cook_ begin! + We'll have a royal greasy chin! + Tit bits so nice and rare-- + Prepare! prepare! + Let none abstain, + Refrain! + I'll give 'em pork in plenty--cut, and come again! + + +RECITATIVE. + + Hog! Porker! Roaster! Boar-stag! Barbicue! + Cheeks! Chines! Crow! Chitterlings! and Harselet new! + Springs! Spare-ribs! Sausages! Sous'd-lugs! and Face! + With piping-hot Pease-pudding--plenteous place! + Hands! Hocks! Hams! Haggis, with high seas'ning fill'd! + Gammons! Green Griskins! on gridirons grill'd! + Liver and Lights! from Plucks that moment drawn + Pigs' Puddings! Black and White! with Canterbury Brawn!-- + + +TRIO. + + Fall too, + Ye Royal crew! + Eat! Eat your bellies full! pray do! + At treats I never winces:-- + The Queen shall say, + Once in a way, + Her maids have been well cramm'd--her young ones din'd like Princes! + + +FULL CHORUS--_accompanied by the whole_ HOGGERY. + + For this BIG MORN + GREAT GEORGE was born! + The tidings all the Poles shall ring! + Due homage will I pay, + On this, thy native day, + GEORGE! _by the grace of God, my rightful_ KING!!!! + + + + +_NUMBER IV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ SIR RICHARD HILL, BART. + + + Hail, pious Muse of saintly love, + Unmix'd, unstain'd with earthly dross! + Hail Muse of _Methodism_, above + The Royal Mews at Charing-cross! + Behold both hands I raise; + Behold both knees I bend; + Behold both eye-balls gaze! + Quick, Muse, descend, descend! + Meek Muse of _Madan_, thee my soul invokes-- + Oh point my pious puns! oh sanctify my jokes! + + +II. + + Descend, and, oh! in mem'ry keep-- + There's a time to wake--a time to sleep-- + A time to laugh-a time to cry! + The _Bible_ says so--so do I!-- + Then broad awake, oh, come to me! + And thou my _Eastern star_ shalt be! + + +III. + + MILLER, bard of deathless name, + MOSES, wag of merry fame; + Holy, holy, holy pair, + Harken to your vot'ry's pray'r! + Grant, that like Solomon's of old, + My faith be still in _Proverbs_ told; + Like his, let my religion be + Conundrums of divinity. + And oh! to mine, let each strong charm belong, + That breathes salacious in the _wise man_'s song; + And thou, sweet bard, for ever dear + To each impassioned love-fraught ear, + Soft, luxuriant ROCHESTER; + Descend, and ev'ry tint bestow, + That gives to phrase its ardent glow; + From thee, thy willing _Hill_ shall learn + Thoughts that melt, and words that burn: + Then smile, oh, gracious, smile on this petition! + So _Solomon_, gay _Wilmot_ join'd with thee, + Shall shew the world that such a thing can be + As, strange to tell!--_a virtuous Coalition!_ + + +IV. + + Thou too, thou dread and awful shade + Of dear departed WILL WHITEHEAD, + Look through the blue aetherial skies, + And view me with propitious eyes! + Whether thou most delight'st to loll + On _Sion_'s top, or near the _Pole_! + Bend from thy _mountains_, and remember still + The wants and wishes of a lesser _Hill_! + Then, like _Elijah_, fled to realms above, + To me, thy friend, bequeath my hallow'd cloak, + And by its virtue Richard may improve, + And in _thy habit_ preach, and pun, and joke! + _The Lord doth give--The Lord doth take away._-- + Then good _Lord Sal'sbury_ attend to me-- + Banish these sons of _Belial_ in dismay; + And give the praise to a true _Pharisee_: + For sure of all the _scribes_ that Israel curst, + These _scribes_ poetic are by far the worst. + To thee, my _Samson_, unto thee I call---- + Exert thy _jaw_--and straight disperse them all-- + So, as in former times, the _Philistines_ shall fall! + Then as 'twas th' beginning, + So to th' end 't shall be; + My Muse will ne'er leave singing + The LORD of SAL'SBURY!!! + + + + +_NUMBER V._ + +DUAN, +IN THE TRUE OSSIAN SUBLIMITY, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + + Does the wind touch thee, O HARP? + Or is it some passing Ghost? + Is is thy hand, + Spirit of the departed _Scrutiny_? + Bring me the harp, pride of CHATHAM! + Snow is on thy bosom, + Maid of the modest eye! + A song shall rise! + Every soul shall depart at the sound!!! + The wither'd thistle shall crown my head!!! + I behold thee, O King! + I behold thee sitting on mist!!! + Thy form is like a watery cloud, + Singing in the deep like an oyster!!!! + Thy face is like the beams of the setting moon! + Thy eyes are of two decaying flames! + Thy nose is like the spear of ROLLO!!! + Thy ears are like three bossy shields!!! + Strangers shall rejoice at thy chin! + The ghosts of dead Tories shall hear me + In their airy hall! + The wither'd thistle shall crown my head! + Bring me the Harp, + Son of CHATHAM! + But thou, O King! give me the Laurel! + + + + +_NUMBER VI._ + +[Though the following _Ossianade_ does not immediately come under +the description of a _Probationary Ode_, yet as it appertains to +the nomination of the _Laureat_, we class it under the same head. +We must at the same time compliment Mr. _Macpherson_ for his spirited +address to Lord Salisbury on the subject. The following is a copy +of his letter:] + + +MY LORD, + +I take the liberty to address myself immediately to your Lordship, +in vindication of my poetical character, which, I am informed, +is most illiberally attacked by the Foreign Gentleman, whom your +Lordship has thought proper to select as an assessor on the present +scrutiny for the office of Poet Laureat to his Majesty. Signor Delpini +is certainly below my notice--but I understand his objections to +my _Probationary Ode_ are two;--first, its conciseness; and next, +its being in _prose_. For the present, I shall wave all discussion +of these frivolous remarks; begging leave, however, to solicit +your Lordship's protection to the following _Supplemental Ode_, which, +I hope, both from its _quantity_ and its _style_, will most +effectually do away the paltry, insidious attack of an uninformed +reviler, who is equally ignorant of British Poetry and of British +Language. + + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship's most obedient, + and faithful servant, + J. MACPHERSON. + + + + +THE SONG OF SCRUTINA, + +_By_ MR. MACPHERSON. + +Hark! 'Tis the dismal sound that echoes on thy roofs, O _Cornwall_; +Hail! double-face sage! Thou worthy son of the chair-borne _Fletcher_! +The Great Council is met to fix the seats of the chosen Chief; +their voices resound in the gloomy hall of Rufus, like the roaring +winds of the cavern--Loud were the cries for _Rays_, but thy voice, +O _Foxan_, rendered the walls like the torrent that gusheth from +the Mountain-side. _Cornwall_ leaped from his throne and screamed--the +friends of _Gwelfo_ hung their heads--How were the mighty fallen! Lift +up thy face, _Dundasso_, like the brazen shield of thy chieftain! Thou +art bold to confront disgrace, and shame is unknown to thy brow--but +tender is the youth of thy leader; who droopeth his head like a faded +lily--leave not _Pitto_ in the day of defeat, when the Chiefs of the +Counties fly from him like the herd from the galled Deer.--The friends +of _Pitto_ are fled. He is alone--he layeth himself down in despair, +and sleep knitteth up his brow.--Soft were his dreams on the green +bench--Lo! the spirit of _Jenky_ arose, pale as the mist of the +morn--twisted was his long lank form--his eyes winked as he whispered +to the child in the cradle. Rise, he sayeth--arise bright babe of the +dark closet! the shadow of the Throne shall cover thee, like wings of +a hen, sweet chicken of the Back-stair brood! Heed not the Thanes of +the Counties; they have fled from thee, like Cackling Geese from the +hard-bitten Fox: but will they not rally and return to the charge? Let +the host of the King be numbered; they are as the sands of the barren +shore.--There Is _Powno_, who followeth his mighty leader, and chaceth +the stall-fed stag all day on the dusty road.--There is _Howard_, +great in arms, with the beaming star on his spreading breast.--Red is +the scarf that waves over his ample shoulders--Gigantic are his strides +on the terrace, in pursuit of the Royal footsteps of lofty _Georgio_. + +No more will I number the flitting shades of Jenky; for behold the +potent spirit of the black-browed _Jacko_.--'Tis the _Ratten Robinso_, +who worketh the works of darkness! Hither I come, said _Ratten_--Like +the mole of the earth, deep caverns have been my resting place; +the ground _Rats_ are my food.--Secret minion of the Crown, raise +thy soul! Droop not at the spirit of _Foxan_. Great are thy foes +in the sight of the many-tongued war.--Shake not they knees, like +the leaves of the Aspen on the misty hill--the doors of the stairs +in the postern are locked; the voice of thy foes is as the wind, +which whistleth through the vale; it passeth away like the swift +cloud of the night. + +The breath of _Gwelfo_ stilleth the stormy seas.----Whilst thou +breathest the breath of his nostrils, thou shalt live for ever. +Firm standeth thy heel in the Hall of thy Lord. Mighty art thou in +the sight of _Gwelfo_, illustrious leader of the friends of _Gwelfo_! +great art thou, O lovely imp of the interior closet! O lovely Guardian +of the Royal Junto! + + + + +NUMBER VII. + +MR. MASON having laid aside the more noble subject for a Probationary +Ode, viz. the Parliamentary Reform, upon finding that the Rev. Mr. +_Wyvil_ had already made a considerable progress in it, has adopted +the following.--The argument is simple and interesting, adapted either +to the harp of _Pindar_, or the reed of Theocritus_,_ and as proper +for the 4th of June, as any day of the year. + +It is almost needless to inform the public, that the University of +Oxford has earnestly longed for a visit from their Sovereign, and, +in order to obtain this honour without the fatigue of forms and +ceremonies, they have privately desired the Master of the Staghounds, +upon turning the stag out of the cart, to set his head in as straight +a line as possible, by the map, towards Oxford:--which probably, +on some auspicious day, will bring the Royal Hunt to the walls +of that city. This expedient, conceived in so much wisdom, as well +as loyalty, makes the subject of the following, + + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ MR. MASON. + +I. + O! green-rob'd Goddess of the hallow'd shade, + Daughter of Jove, to whom of yore + Thee, lovely maid, _Latona_ bore, + Chaste virgin, Empress of the silent glade! + Where shall I woo thee?--Ere the dawn, + While still the dewy tissue of the lawn + Quivering spangles to the eye, + And fills the soul with Nature's harmony! + Or 'mid that murky grove's monastic night, + The tangling net-work of the woodbine's gloom, + Each zephyr pregnant with perfume---- + Or near that delving dale, or mossy mountain's height, + When _Neptune_ struck the scientific ground. + +II. + From _Attica_'s deep-heaving side, + Why did the prancing horse rebound, + Snorting, neighing all around, + With thund'ring feet and flashing eyes-- + Unless to shew how near allied + Bright science is to exercise! + +III. + If then the _horse_ to wisdom is a friend, + Why not the _hound_? why not the _horn_? + While low beneath the furrow sleeps the corn, + Nor yet in tawny vests delight to bend! + For Jove himself decreed, + That DIAN, with her sandal'd feet, + White ankled Goddess pure and fleet, + Should with every Dryad lead, + By jovial cry o'er distant plain, + To _England_'s Athens, _Brunswick_'s sylvan train! + +IV. + _Diana_, Goddess all discerning! + _Hunting_ is a friend to learning! + If the stag, with hairy nose, + In Autumn ne'er had thought of love! + No buck with swollen throat the does + With dappled sides had tryed to move---- + Ne'er had _England_'s King, I ween, + The Muse's seat, fair _Oxford_, seen. + + V. + Hunting, thus, is learning's friend! + No longer, Virgin Goddess, bend + O'er _Endymion_'s roseate breast;---- + No longer, vine-like, chastly twine + Round his milk-white limbs divine!---- + Your brother's car rolls down the east-- + The laughing hours bespeak the day! + With flowery wreaths they strew the way! + Kings of sleep! ye mortal race! + For _George_ with _Dian_ 'gins the Royal chace! + +VI. + Visions of bliss, you tear my aching sight, + Spare, O spare your poet's eyes! + See every gate-way trembles with delight, + Streams of glory streak the skies: + How each College sounds, + With the cry of the hounds! + How _Peckwater_ merrily rings; + Founders, Prelates, Queens, and Kings-- + All have had your hunting-day!-- + From the dark tomb then break away! + Ah! see they rush to _Friar Bacon_'s tower, + Great _George_ to greet, and hail his natal hour! + +VII. + _Radcliffe_ and _Wolsey_, hand in hand, + Sweet gentle shades, there take their stand + With _Pomfret_'s learned dame; + And _Bodely_ join'd by Clarendon, + With loyal zeal together run, + Just arbiters of fame! + +VIII. + That fringed cloud sure this way bends-- + From it a form divine descends-- + _Minerva_'s self;--and in her rear + A thousand saddled steads appear! + On each she mounts a learned son, + Professor, Chancellor, or Dean; + All by hunting madness won, + All in _Dian_'s livery seen. + How they despise the tim'rous _Hare_! + Give us, they cry, the furious _Bear_! + To chase the Lion, how they long, + Th' _Rhinoceros_ tall, and _Tyger_ strong. + Hunting thus is learning's prop, + Then may hunting never drop; + And thus an hundred _Birth-Days_ more, + Shall Heav'n to _George_ afford from its capacious shore. + + + + +_NUMBER VIII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ THE ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +I. + _Indite_, my Muse!--_indite! subpoena'd_ is thy lyre! + The praises to _record_, which _rules of Court_ require! + 'Tis thou, O _Clio_! Muse divine, + And best of all the _Council_ Nine, + Must _plead_ my _cause_!--Great HATFIELD'S CECIL bids me sing------ + The tallest, fittest man, to walk before the King! + +II. + Of _Sal'sbury's Earls_ the First (so tells th' historic page) + 'Twas Nature's will to make most wonderfully sage; + But then, as if too liberal to his mind, + She made him crook'd before, and crook'd behind[1]. + 'Tis not, thank Heav'n! my _Cecil_, so with thee; + Thou last of Cecils, but unlike the first;-- + Thy body bears no mark'd deformity;---- + The Gods _decreed_, and _judgment was revers'd!_ + For veins of Science are like veins of gold! + Pure, for a time, they run; + They end as they begun-- + Alas! in nothing but a heap of mould! + +III. + Shall I by eloquence controul, + Or _challenge_ send to mighty ROLLE, + Whene'er on Peers he vents his gall? + Uplift my hands to pull his nose, + And twist and pinch it till it grows, + Like mine, aside, and small? + Say, by what _process_ may I once obtain + A _verdict_, Lord, not let me _sue_ in vain! + In Commons, and in _Courts_ below, + My _actions_ have been try'd;-- + There _Clients_ who pay most, _you know_, + _Retain_ the strongest side! + True to these _terms_, I preach'd in politics for _Pitt_, + And _Kenyon's law_ maintain'd against his Sovereign's _writ_. + What though my father be a porpus, + He may be mov'd by _Habeas Corpus_-- + Or by a _call_, whene'er the State + Or _Pitt_ requires his vote and weight-- + I tender _bail_ for Bottle's _warm_ support, + Of all the plans of Ministers and Court! + +IV. + And Oh! should _Mrs. Arden_ bless me with a child, + A lovely boy, as beauteous as myself and mild; + The little _Pepper_ would some caudle lack: + Then think of _Arden_'s wife, + My pretty _Plaintiff_'s life, + The best of caudle's made of best of sack! + Let thy _decree_ + But favour me, + My _bills_ and _briefs_, _rebutters_ and _detainers_, + To _Archy_ I'll resign + Without a _fee_ or _fine_, + _Attachments_, _replications_, and _retainers_! + To _Juries, Bench, Exchequer, Seals_, + To _Chanc'ry Court_, and _Lords_, I'll bid adieu; + No more _demurrers_ nor _appeals_;---- + My _writs of error_ shall be _judg'd_ by you. + +V. + And if perchance great _Doctor Arnold_ should retire, + Fatigu'd with all the troubles of St. James's Choir; + My Odes two merits shall unite; + [2]BEARCROFT, my friend, + His aid will lend, + And set to music all I write; + Let me then, Chamberlain without a _flaw_, + For June the fourth prepare, + The praises of the King + In _legal lays_ to sing, + Until they rend the air, + And _prove_ my equal fame in _poesy_ and law! + + +[1] Rapin observes, that Robert Cecil, the first Earl of Salisbury, +was of a great genius; and though crooked before and behind, +Nature supplied that defect with noble endowments of mind. + +[2] This Gentleman is a great performer upon the Piano Forte, +as well as the Speaking Trumpet and Jews' Harp. + + + + +_NUMBER IX._ + +ODE, + +_By_ NATHANIEL WILLIAM WRAXHALL, ESQ. M.P. + +I. + MURRAIN seize the House of Commons! + Hoarse catarrh their windpipes shake! + Who, deaf to travell'd Learning's summons, + Rudely cough'd whene'er I spake! + _North_, nor _Fox_'s thund'ring course, + Nor e'en the Speaker, tyrant, shall have force + To save thy walls from nightly breaches, + From _Wraxhall_'s votes, from _Wraxhall_'s speeches, + _Geography_, terraqueous maid, + Descend from globes to statesmen's aid! + Again to heedless crouds unfold + Truths unheard, tho' not untold: + Come, and once more unlock this vasty world-- + Nations attend! the _map_ of _Earth_'s unfurl'd! + +II. + Begin the song, from where the Rhine, + The Elbe, the Danube, Weser rolls---- + _Joseph_, nine circles, forty seas are thine---- + Thine, twenty millions souls---- + Upon a marish flat and dank + States, Six and One, + Dam the dykes, the seas embank, + Maugre the Don! + A gridiron's form the proud Escurial rears, + While South of Vincent's Cape anchovies glide: + But, ah! o'er Tagus, once auriferous tide, + A priest-rid Queen, Braganza's sceptre bears---- + Hard fate! that Lisbon's Diet-drink is known + To cure each crazy _constitution_ but her own! + +III. + I burn! I burn! I glow! I glow! + With antique and with modern lore! + I rush from Bosphorus to Po-- + To Nilus from the Nore. + Why were thy Pyramids, O Egypt! rais'd, + But to be measur'd, and be prais'd? + Avaunt, ye Crocodiles! your threats are vain! + On Norway's seas, my soul, unshaken, + Brav'd the Sea-Snake and the Craken! + And shall I heed the River's scaly train? + Afric, I scorn thy Alligator band! + Quadrant in hand + I take my stand, + And eye thy moss-clad needle, Cleopatra grand! + O, that great Pompey's pillar were my own! + Eighty-eight feet the shaft, and all one stone! + But hail, ye lost Athenians! + Hail also, ye Armenians! + Hail once, ye Greeks, ye Romans, Carthagenians! + Twice hail, ye Turks, and thrice, ye Abyssinians! + Hail too, O Lapland, with thy squirrels airy! + Hail, Commerce-catching Tipperary! + Hail, wonder-working Magi! + Hail, Ouran-Outangs! Hail, Anthropophagi! + Hail, all ye cabinets of every state, + From poor Marino's Hill, to Catherine's Empire great! + All have their chiefs, who-speak, who write, who seem to think, + _Caermarthens, Sydneys, Rutlands_, paper, pens, and ink; + +IV. + Thus, through all climes, to earth's remotest goal, + From burning Indus to the freezing Pole, + In chaises and on floats, + In dillies, and in boats; + Now on a camel's native stool; + Now on an ass, now on a mule. + Nabobs and Rajahs have I seen; + Old Bramins mild, young Arabs keen: + Tall Polygars, + Dwarf Zemindars, + Mahommed's tomb, Killarney's lake, the fane of Ammon, + With all thy Kings and Queens, ingenious Mrs. Salmon[1]: + Yet vain the majesties of wax! + Vain the cut velvet on their backs---- + GEORGE, mighty GEORGE, is flesh and blood---- + No head he wants of wax or wood! + His heart is good! + (As a King's should) + And every thing he says is understood! + +[1] Exhibits the Wax-work, in Fleet-Street. + + + + +_NUMBER X._ + +ODE FOR NEW-YEAR'S-DAY, + +_By_ SIR GREGORY PAGE TURNER, BART. M.P. + +Lord Warden of Blackheath, and Ranger of Greenwich Hill, +during the Christmas and Easter Holidays. + +STROPHE. + + O day of high career! + First of a month--nay more--first of a year! + A _monarch-day_, that hath indeed no peer! + Let huge _Buzaglos_ glow + In ev'ry corner of the isle, + To melt away the snow: + And like to _May_, + Be this month gay; + And with her at hop--step--jump--play, + Dance, grin, and smile: + Ye too, ye _Maids of Honour_, young and old, + Shall each be seen, + With a neat _warming_ patentiz'd _machine_! + Because, 'tis said, that _chastity_ is _cold_! + +ANTISTROPHE. + + But ah! no roses meet the sight; + No _yellow_ buds of _saffron_ hue, + Nor _azure_ blossoms of _pale blue_, + Nor tulips, pinks, &c. delight. + Yet on fine _tiffany_ will I + My genius try, + The spoils of _Flora_ to supply, + Or say my name's not GREGO--RY! + An _artificial_ Garland will I bring, + That _Clement Cottrell_ shall declare, + With courtly air, + Fit for a Prince--fit for a KING! + +Epode. + + Ye _millinery_ fair, + To me, ye Muses are; + Ye are to me _Parnassus_ MOUNT! + In you, I find an _Aganippe_ FOUNT! + I venerate your _muffs_, + I bow and kiss your _ruffs_. + Inspire me, O ye _Sisters_ of the _frill_, + And teach your votarist how to _quill_! + For oh!--'tis true indeed, + That he can scarcely read! + Teach him to _flounce_, and disregard all quippery, + As crapes and blonds, and such like frippery; + Teach him to _trim_ and _whip_ from side to side, + And _puff_ as long as puffing can be try'd. + In _crimping_ metaphor he'll dash on, + For _point_, you know, is out of fashion. + O crown with bay his tete, + _Delpini_, arbiter of fate! + Nor at the trite conceit let witlings sport. + A PAGE should be a _Dangler_ at the court. + + + + +_NUMBER XI._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MICHAEL ANGELO TAYLOR, ESQ. M. P. + +Only Son of SIR ROBERT TAYLOR, Knt. and late Sheriff--also Sub-Deputy, +Vice-Chairman to the Irish Committee, King's Counsel, and Welsh +Judge Elect, &c, &c. + +I. + Hail, all hail, thou natal day! + Hail the very half hour, I say, + On which great GEORGE was born! + Tho' scarcely fledg'd, I'll try my wing-- + And tho', alas! I cannot sing, + I'll _crow_ on this illustrious morn! + Sweet bird, that chirp'st the note of folly, + So pleasantry, so drolly!-- + Thee, oft the stable yards among, + I woo, and emulate thy song! + Thee, for my emblem still I choose! + Oh! with thy voice inspire a _Chicken of the Muse!_ + +II. + And thou, great Earl, ordain'd to sit + High arbiter of verse and wit, + Oh crown my wit with fame! + Such as it is, I prithee take it; + Or if thou can'st not find it, make it: + To me 'tis just the same. + Once a white wand, like thine, my father bore: + But now, alas! that white wand is no more! + Yet though his pow'r be fled, + Nor Bailiff wait his nod nor Gaoler; + Bright honour still adorns the head + Of my Papa, Sir _Robert Tayler!_ + Ah, might that honour on his son alight! + On this auspicious day + How my little heart would glow, + If, as I bend me low, + My gracious King wou'd say, + Arise, SIR MICHAEL ANGELO! + O happiest day, that brings the happiest Knight! + +III. + Thee, too, my _fluttering_ Muse invokes, + Thy guardian aid I beg. + Thou great ASSESSOR, fam'd for jokes, + For jokes of face and leg! + So may I oft thy stage-box grace, + (The first in beauty as in place) + And smile responsive to thy changeful face! + For say, renowned mimic, say, + Did e'er a merrier crowd obey + Thy laugh-provoking summons, + Than with fond glee, enraptur'd sit, + Whene'er with _undesigning wit_, + I entertain the Commons? + Lo! how I shine St. Stephen's boast! + There, first of _Chicks_, I rule the _roast_! + There I appear, + Pitt's _Chanticleer_. + The _Bantam Cock_ in opposition! + Or like a _hen_ + With watchful ken, + Sit close and hatch--the Irish propositions! + +IV. + Behold for this great day of pomp and pleasure, + The House adjourns, and I'm at leisure! + If _thou_ art so, come muse of sport, + With a few rhymes, + Delight the times, + And coax the Chamberlain, and charm the Court! + By Heaven she comes!--more swift than prose, + At her command, my metre flows; + Hence, ye weak warblers of the rival lays! + Avaunt, ye Wrens, ye Goslings, and ye Pies! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _win_ the prize! + The _Chick of Law_ shall _peck_ the bays! + So, when again the State deminds our care, + Fierce in my laurel'd pride, I'll take the chair!-- + GILBERT, I catch thy bright invention, + With somewhat more of _sound retention[1]!_ + But never, never on thy _prose_ I'll border-- + _Verse_, lofty-sounding _Verse_, shall "_Call to Order!_" + Come, sacred Nine, come one and all, + Attend your fav'rite Chairman's call! + Oh! if I well have chirp'd your brood among, + Point my keen eye, and tune my brazen tongue! + And hark! with Elegiac graces, + "I beg that gentlemen may take their places!" + Didactic Muse, be thine to state, + The rules that harmonize debate! + Thine, mighty CLIO, to resound from far, + "The door! the door!--the bar! the bar!" + Stout _Pearson_ damns around at her dread word;-- + "Sit down!" cries _Clementson_, and grasps his silver sword. + +V. + But lo! where Pitt appears to move + Some new resolve of hard digestion! + Wake then, my Muse, thy gentler notes of love, + And in persuasive numbers, "_put the Question._" + The question's gain'd!--the Treasury-Bench rejoice! + "All hail, thou _least_ of men" (they cry), with mighty voice! + --Blest sounds! my ravish'd eye surveys + Ideal Ermine, fancied Bays! + Wrapt in St. Stephens future scenes + I sit perpetual chairman of the _Ways and Means!_ + Cease, cease, ye Bricklayer crew, my sire to praise, + His mightier offspring claims immortal lays! + The father climb'd the ladder, with a hod; + The son, like _General Jackoo_, jumps alone, by God! + + +[1] No reflection on the organization of Mr. Gilbert's brain is +intended here; but rather a pathetic reflection an the continual +Diabetes of so great a Member! + + + + +_NUMBER XII._ + +ODE, + +_By_ MAJOR JOHN SCOTT, M.P. &C. &C. + +I. + Why does the loitering sun retard his wain, + When this glad hour demands a fiercer ray? + Not so he pours his fire on Delhi's plain, + To hail the Lord of Asia's natal day. + There in mute pomp and cross-legg'd state, + The _Raja Pouts_ MAHOMMED SHAH await. + There _Malabar_, + There _Bisnagar_, + There _Oude_ and proud _Bahar_, in joy confederate. + +II. + Curs'd be the clime, and curs'd the laws, that lay + Insulting bonds on George's sovereign sway! + Arise, my soul, on wings of fire, + To God's anointed, tune the lyre; + Hail! George, thou all-accomplish'd King! + Just type of him who rules on high! + Hail inexhausted, boundless spring + Of sacred truth and Holy Majesty! + Grand is thy form--'bout five feet ten, + Thou well-built, worthiest, best of men! + Thy chest is stout, thy back is broad-- + Thy Pages view thee, and are aw'd! + Lo! how thy white eyes roll! + Thy whiter eye-brows stare! + Honest soul! + Thou'rt witty, as thou'rt fair! + +III. + North of the Drawing-room a closet stands: + The sacred nook, St James's Park commands! + Here, in sequester'd state, Great GEORGE receives + Memorials, treaties, and long lists of thieves! + Here all the force of sov'reign thought is bent, + To fix Reviews, or change a Government! + Heav'ns! how each word with joy _Caermarthen_ takes! + Gods! how the lengthen'd chin of _Sydney_ shakes! + Blessing and bless'd the sage associate see, + The proud triumphant league of incapacity. + With subtile smiles, + With innate wiles, + How do thy tricks of state, GREAT GEORGE, abound! + So in thy Hampton's mazy ground, + The path that wanders + In meanders, + Ever bending, + Never ending, + Winding runs the eternal round. + Perplex'd, involv'd, each thought bewilder'd moves; + In short, quick turns the gay confusion roves; + Contending themes the ernbarrass'd listener baulk, + Lost in the labyrinths of the devious talk! + +IV. + Now shall the levee's ease thy soul unbend, + Fatigu'd with Royalty's severer care! + Oh! happy few! whom brighter stars befriend, + Who catch the chat--the witty whisper share! + Methinks I hear + In accents clear, + Great Brunswick's voice still vibrate on my ear-- + "What?--what?--what? + Scott!--Scott!--Scott! + Hot!--hot!--hot! + What?--what!--what?" + Oh! fancy quick! oh! judgment true! + Oh! sacred oracle of regal taste! + So hasty, and so generous too! + Not one of all thy questions will an answer wait! + Vain, vain, oh Muse, thy feeble art, + To paint the beauties of that head and heart! + That heart where all the virtues join! + That head that hangs on many a sign! + +V. + Monarch of mighty _Albion_, check thy talk! + Behold the _Squad_ approach, led on by _Palk_! + _Smith, Barwelly, Cattt Vansittart_, form the band-- + Lord of Brirannia!--let them kiss thy hand!-- + For _sniff_[1]!--rich odours scent the sphere! + 'Tis Mrs. _Hastings_' self brings up the rear! + Gods! how her diamonds flock + On each unpowdere'd lock! + On every membrane see a topaz clings! + Behold her joints are fewer than her rings! + Illustrious dame! on either ear, + The _Munny Begums_' spoils appear! + Oh! Pitt, with awe behold that precious throat, + Whose necklace teems with many a future vote! + Pregnant with _Burgage_ gems each hand she rears; + And lo! depending _questions_ gleam upon her ears! + Take her, great George, and shake her by the hand; + 'Twill loose her jewels, and enrich thy land. + But oh! reserve one ring for an old stager; + The _ring_ of future marriage for her _Major_! + +[1] Sniff is a new interjection for the sense of smelling. + + + + +_NUMBER XIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARRY DUNDAS, ESQ. +Treasurer of the Navy, &c. &c. &c. + +I. + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Hoot! hoot awaw! + Ye lawland Bards! who' are ye aw! + What are your sangs? What aw your lair too boot? + Vain are your thowghts the prize to win, + Sae dight your gobs, and stint your senseless din; + Hoot! hoot awaw! hoot! hoot!---- + Put oot aw your Attic feires, + Burn your lutes, and brek your leyres; + A looder, and a looder note I'll strieke:---- + Na watter drawghts fra' Helicon I heed, + Na will I moont your winged steed-- + I'll moont the Hanoverian horse, and ride him whare I leike!-- + +II. + Ye lairdly fowk, wha form the courtly ring, + Coom, lend your lugs, and listen wheil I sing! + Ye canny maidens tee; wha aw the wheile, + Sa sweetly luik, sa sweetly smeile, + Coom hither aw, and round me thrang, + Wheil I tug oot my peips, and gi' ye aw a canty sang. + Weel faur his bonny bleithsome hairt! + Wha, gifted by the gods abuin, + Wi' meikle taste, and meikle airt, + Fairst garr'd his canny peipe to lilt a tune! + To the sweet whussel join'd the pleesan drane, + And made the poo'rs of music aw his ain. + On thee, on thee I caw--thou deathless spreight! + Doon frae thy thrane, abuin the lift sa breight; + Ah! smeile on me, instruct me hoo to chairm: + And, fou as is the baug beneath my arm, + Inspeire my saul, and geuide my tunesome tongue. + I feel, I feel thy poo'r divine! + Laurels! kest ye to the groond, + Aroond my heed, my country's pride I tweine-- + Sa sud a Scottish baird be croon'd-- + Sa sud gret GEOURGE be sung! + +III. + Fra hills, wi' heathers clad, that smeilan bluim + Speite o' the northern blaist; + Ye breether bairds, descend, and hither coom! + Let ilka ilka ane his baugpipe bring, + That soonds sa sweetly, and sa weel; + Sweet soonds! that please the lugs o' sic a king; + Lugs that in music's soonds ha' mickle taste. + Then, hither haste, and bring them aw, + Baith your muckle peipes and smaw; + Now, laddies! lood blaw up your chanters; + For, luik! whare, cled in claies sa leel. + Canny _Montrose_'s son leads on the ranters. + Thoo _Laird o' Graham!_ by manie a cheil ador'd, + Who boasts his native fillabeg restor'd; + I croon thee--maister o' the spowrt! + Bid thy breechless loons advaunce, + Weind the reel, and wave the daunce; + Noo they rant, and noo they loup, + And noo they shew their brawny doup, + And weel, I wat, they please the lasses o' the court, + Sa in the guid buik are we tauld, + Befoor the halie ark, + The guid King David, in the days of auld, + Daunc'd, like a wuid thing, in his sark, + Wheil Sion's dowghters ('tis wi' sham I speak't) + Aw heedless as he strack the sacred strain, + Keck'd, and lawgh'd, + And lawgh'd, and keck'd, + And lawgh'd, and keck'd again. + Scarce could they keep their watter at the seight, + Sa micke did the King their glowran eyne delight. + +IV. + Anewgh! anewgh! noo haud your haund! + And stint your spowrts awce: + Ken ye, whare clad in eastlan spoils sa brave, + O'ersheenan aw the lave; + He comes, he comes! + Aw hail! thoo Laird of pagodas and lacks! + Weel could I tell of aw thy mighty awks; + Fain wad my peipe, its loudest note, + My tongue, its wunsome poo'rs, devote, + To gratitude and thee; + To thee, the sweetest o' thy ain parfooms, + Orixa's preide sud blaze + On thee, thy gems of purest rays; + Back fra' this saund, their genuine feires sud shed, + And _Rumbold_'s Crawdle vie wuth _Hasting_'s Bed. + But heev'n betook us weil! and keep us weise! + Leike thunder, burstan at thy dreed command! + "Keep, keep thy tongue," a warlock cries, + And waves his gowden wand. + +V. + Noo, laddies! gi' your baugpipes breeth again; + Blaw the loo'd, but solemn, strain: + Thus wheil I hail with heart-felt pleasure, + In mejesty sedate, + In pride elate, + The smuith cheeks Laird of aw the treasure; + Onward he stalks in froonan state; + Na fuilish smiles his broos unbend, + Na wull he bleithsome luik on aw the lasses lend. + Hail to ye, lesser Lairds! of mickle wit; + Hail to ye aw, wha in weise council sit, + Fra' _Tommy Toonsend_ up to _Wully Pitt!_ + Weel faur your heeds! but noo na mair + To ye maun I the sang confeine: + To nobler fleights the muse expands her wing. + 'Tis he, whose eyne and wit sa breightly sheine, + 'Tis GEOURGE demands her care; + Breetons! boo down your heed, and hail your King! + See! where with Atlantean shoulder, + Amazing each beholder, + Beneath a tott'ring empire's weight. + Full six feet high he stands, and therefore--great! + +VI. + Come then, aw ye POO'rs of vairse! + Gi' me great GEOURGE's glories to rehearse; + And as I chaunt his kingly awks, + The list'nan warld fra me sall lairn + Hoo swuft he rides, hoo slow he walks, + And weel he gets his Queen wi' bairn. + Give me, with all a Laureat's art to jumble, + Thoughts that soothe, and words that rumble! + Wisdom and Empire, Brunswick's Royal line; + Fame, Honour, Glory, Majesty divine! + Thus, crooned by his lib'ral hand. + Give me to lead the choral band; + Then, in high-sounding words, and grand, + Aft sail peipe swell with his princely name, + And this eternal truth proclaim: + 'Tis GEOURGE, Imperial GEOURGE, who rules BRITANNIA's land! + + + + +_NUMBER XIV._ + +ODE, + +_By_ DR. JOSEPH WARTON, In humble Imitation of BROTHER THOMAS. + + O! For the breathings of the _Doric ote!_ + O! for the _warblings_ of the Lesbian _lyre!_ + O! for the Alcean trump's terrific note! + O! for the Theban eagle's wing of fire! + O! for each stop and string that swells th' Aonian quire! + Then should this hallow'd day in _worthy strains be sung_, + And with _due laurel wreaths_ thy cradle, Brunswick, _hung!_ + But tho' uncouth my numbers flow + --From a rude reed,-- + That drank the dew of Isis' lowly mead, + And _wild pipe_, fashion'd from the _embatted sedge_ + Which on the _twilight edge_ + Of my own Cherwell loves to grow: + The god-like theme alone + Should bear me on its _tow'ring wing_; + Bear me undaunted to the throne, + To view with fix'd and stedfast eye + --The delegated majesty + Of heav'ns dread lord, and what I see to sing. + Like heaven's dread lord, great George his voice can raise, + From babes and suckling's mouths to hymn his _perfect praise_, + _In poesy's trim rhymes_ and high _resounding phrase_. + _Hence, avaunt!_ ye savage train, + That drench the earth and dye the main + With the tides of hostle gore: + Who joy in _war's terrific charms_, + To see the steely gleam of arms, + And hear the cannon's roar; + Unknown the god-like virtue how to yield, + To Cressy's or to Blenheim's _deathful_ field; + Begone, and sate your Pagan thirst of blood; + Edward, fell homicide, awaits you there, + And Anna's hero, both unskill'd to spare + Whene'er the foe their slaught'ring sword withstood. + The pious George to _white-staled peace_ alone + His olive sceptre yields, and _palm-encircled throne_. + Or if his high degree + On the _perturbed sea_ + The bloody flag unfurls; + Or o'er the embattl'd plain + Ranges the martial train; + On other heads his bolts he hurls. + Haughty subjects, _wail and weep_, + Your angry master _ploughs the deep_. + Haughty subjects, swol'n with pride, + Tremble at his _vengeful_ stride. + While the regal command + Desp'rate ye withstand, + He bares his red right hand. + As when Eloim's pow'r, + In Judah's rebel hour, + Let fall the fiery show'r + That o'er her parch'd hills desolation spread, + And heap'd her vales with mountains of the dead. + O'er Schuylkill's _cliffs the tempest roars_; + O'er Rappahanock's recreant shores; + Up the _rough rocks of Kipps's-bay_; + The huge Anspachar _wins his way_; + _Or scares the falcon_ from the _fir-cap'd side_ + Of each high hill that hangs o'er Hudson's haughty tide. + Matchless victor, mighty lord! + Sheath the devouring sword! + Strong to punish, _mild to save_, + Close _the portals of the grave_, + Exert thy first prerogative, + Ah! spare thy subject's blood, and let them _live_; + Our _tributary breath_, + Hangs on thine for life or death. + Sweet is the balmy breath of orient morn, + Sweet are the horned treasures of the bee; + Sweet is the fragrance of the scented thorn, + But sweeter yet the voice of royal clemency. + He hears, and from his _wisdom's perfect day_ + He sends a bright effulgent ray, + The nations _to illumine far and wide_, + And feud and discord, war and _strife, subside_. + His moral sages, _all unknown_ t'untie + The wily rage of human policy, + Their equal compasses expand, + And mete the globe with philosophic hand. + No partial love of country binds + In selfish chains the lib'ral minds, + O gentle Lansdown! ting'd with thy philanthropy, + Let other monarchs vainly boast + A lengthen'd line of conquer'd coast, + Or boundless sea of tributary flood, + Bought by as wide a sea of blood---- + Brunswick, in more _saint-like guise_ + Claims for his spoils a purer prize, + Content at every price to buy + A conquest o'er himself, and o'er his progeny. + His be _domestic glory's radient calm_---- + His be _the sceptre wreath'd with many a palm_---- + His be _the throne with peaceful emblems hung_, + And mine die laurel'd lyre, _to those mild conquests strung!_ + + + + +_NUMBER XV._ + +PINDARIC, + +_By_ the RIGHT HON. HERVEY REDMOND, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +Of Castle Morres, of the Kingdom of Ireland, &c. &c. + +I. + Awake, Hibernian lyre, awake, + To harmony thy strings attune, + O _tache_ their trembling tongue to _spake_ + The glories of the fourth of June. + Auspicious morn! + When George was born + To grace (by deputy) our Irish throne, + North, south, _aiste_, west, + Of Kings the best, + Sure now he's _a_quall'd by himself alone; + Throughout the astonish'd globe so loud his fame shall ring, + The d_i_f themselves shall _hare_ the strains the dumb shall sing. + +II. + Sons of Fadruig[1], strain your throats, + In your native Irish lays, + Swe_a_ter than the scre_a_ch owl's notes, + Howl aloud your sov'reign's praise, + Quick to his hallow'd fane be led + A milk-white BULL, on soft potatoes fed: + His curling horns and ample neck + Let wreaths of verdant shamrock deck, + And perfum'd flames, to _rache_ the sky, + Let fuel from our bogs supply, + Whilst we to George's health, _a_'en till the bowl runs o'er + Rich _strames_ of usquebaugh and sparkling whiskey pour. + +III. + Of d_i_thless fame immortal heirs, + A brave and patriotic band, + Mark where Ierne's Volunt_a_res, + Array'd in bright disorder stand. + The Lawyer's corps, red fac'd with black, + Here drive the martial merchants back; + Here Sligo's bold brigade advance, + There Lim'rick legions sound their drum; + Here Gallway's gallant squadrons prance, + And Cork Invincibles are overcome! + The Union firm of Coleraine, + Are scatter'd o'er the warlike plain, + While Tipperary infantry pursues + The Clognikelty horse, and Ballyshannon blues. + Full fifty thousand men we shew + All in our Irish manufactures clad, + Wh_a_ling, manoeuv'ring to and fro, + And marching up and down like mad. + In fr_a_dom's holy cause they bellow, rant, and rave, + And scorn thems_i_lves to know what they thems_i_lves would have! + Ah! should renowned Brunswick chuse, + (The warlike monarch loves reviews) + To see th_a_se h_a_roes in our Ph_a_nix fight, + Once more, amidst a wond'ring crowd, + The enraptur'd prince might cry aloud, + "Oh! Amherst, what a h_i_venly sight[2]!" + The loyal crowd with shouts should r_i_nd the skies, + To _hare_ their sov'reign make a sp_aa_ch so wise! + +IV. + Th_a_se were the bands, 'mid tempests foul, + Who taught their master, somewhat loth, + To grant (Lord love his lib'ral soul!) + Commerce and constitution both. + Now p_a_ce restor'd, + This gracious lord + Would _tache_ them, as the scriptures say, + At _laiste_, that if + The Lord doth give, + The Lord doth likewise take away. + Fr_a_dom like this who _i_ver saw? + We will, henceforth, for _i_ver more, + Be after making _i_v'ry law, + Great Britain shall have made before[3]. + +V. + Hence, loath'd Monopoly, + Of Av'rice foul, and Navigation bred, + In the drear gloom + Of British Custom-house Long-room, + 'Mongst cockets, clearances, and bonds unholy, + Hide thy detested head. + But come, thou goddess fair and free, + Hibernian reciprocity! + (Which _manes_, if right I take the plan, + Or _i_lse the tr_a_ity d_i_vil burn! + To get from England all we can; + And give her nothing in return!) + Thee, JENKY, skill'd in courtly lore, + To the _swate_ lipp'd William bore, + He Chatham's son (in George's reign + Such mixture was not held a stain), + Of garish day-light's eye afraid, + Through the postern-gate convey'd; + In close and midnight cabinet, + Oft the secret lovers met. + Haste thee, nymph, and quick bring o'er + Commerce, from Britannia's shore; + Manufactures, arts, and skill, + Such as may our pockets fill. + And, with thy left hand, gain by stealth, + Half our sister's envied wealth, + Till our island shall become + Trade's compl_a_te imporium[4]. + Th_a_se joys, if reciprocity can give, + Goddess with thee h_i_nceforth let Paddy live! + +VI. + Next to great George be peerless Billy sung:-- + Hark! he _spakes!_ his mouth his opes! + Phrases, periods, figures, tropes, + _Strame_ from his mellifluous tongue-- + Oh! had he crown'd his humble suppliant's hopes? + And given him near his much-lov'd Pitt, + Beyond the limits of the bar to sit, + How with his praises had St. Stephen's rung! + Though Pompey boast not all his patron's pow'rs, + Yet oft have kind Hibernia's Peers + To r_a_de his sp_aa_ches lent their ears: + So in the Senate, had his tongue, for hours. + Foremost, amid the youthful yelping pack, + That crow and cackle at the Premier's back, + A flow of Irish rhetoric let loose, + Beneath the _Chicken_ scarce, and far above the _Goose_. + + +[1] Ancient Irish name given to St. Patrick. + +[2] The celebrated speech of a Great Personage, on reviewing the +camp at Cox-heath, in the year 1779, when a French invasion was +apprehended; the report of which animating apostrophe is supposed +to have struck such terror into the breasts of our enemies, as to +have been the true occasion of their relinquishing the design. + +[3] Vide the Fourth Proposition. + +[4] Vide Mr. Orde's speech. + + + + +_NUMBER XVI._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By_ EDWARD LORD THURLOW, Lord High Chancellor of Great-Britain. + +I. + Damnation seize ye all, + Who puff, who thrum, who bawl and squall! + Fir'd with ambitious hopes in vain, + The wreath, that blooms for other brows to gain; + Is THURLOW yet so little known?-- + By G--d I swore, while GEORGE shall reign, + The seals, in spite of changes, to retain, + Nor quit the Woolsack till he quits the Throne! + And now, the Bays for life to wear, + Once more, with mightier oaths, by G--d I swear! + Bend my black brows that keep the Peers in awe, + Shake my full-bottom wig, and give the nod of law. + +II. + What [1] tho' more sluggish than a toad, + Squat in the bottom of a well, + I too, my gracious Sov'reign's worth to tell, + Will rouse my torpid genius to an Ode! + The toad a jewel in his head contains-- + Prove we the rich production of my brains! + Nor will I court, with humble plea, + Th' _Aonian_ Maids to inspire my wit: + One mortal girl is worth the _Nine_ to me;-- + The prudes of _Pindus_ I resign to _Pitt_. + His be the classic art, which I despise:-- + THURLOW on Nature, and himself relies. + +III. + 'Tis mine _to keep the conscience of the King_; + To me, each secret of his heart is shown: + Who then, like me, shall hope to sing + Virtues, to all but me, unknown? + Say who, like me, shall win belief + To tales of his paternal grief, + When civil rage with slaughter dy'd + The plains beyond th' Atlantic tide? + Who can, like me, his joy attest, + Though little joy his looks confest, + When Peace, at _Conway_'s call restor'd, + Bade kindred nations sheathe the sword? + How pleas'd he gave his people's wishes way, + And turn'd out _North_, when _North_ refus'd to stay! + How in their sorrows sharing too, unseen, + For _Rockingham_ he mourn'd, at _Windsor_ with the Queen! + +IV. + His bounty, too, be mine to praise, + Myself th' example of my lays, + A _Teller_ in reversion I; + And unimpair'd I vindicate my place, + The chosen subject of peculiar grace, + Hallow'd from hands of _Burke_'s economy: + For [2] so his royal word my Sovereign gave; + And sacred here I found that _word_ alone, + When not his Grandsire's _Patent_, and his own, + To _Cardiff_, and to _Sondes_, their posts could save. + Nor should this chastity be here unsung, + That chastity, above his glory dear; + [3]But _Hervey_ frowning, pulls my ear, + Such praise, she swears, were satire from my tongue. + +V. + Fir'd at her voice, I grow prophane, + A louder yet, and yet a louder strain! + To THURLOW's lyre more daring notes belong. + Now tremble every rebel soul! + While on the foes of George I roll + The deep-ton'd execrations of my song. + In vain my brother's piety, more meek, + Would preach my kindling fury to repose; + Like _Balaam_'s ass, were he inspir'd to speak, + 'Twere vain! resolved I go to curse my Prince's foes. + +VI. + "Begin! Begin!" fierce _Hervey_ cries, + See! the _Whigs_, how they rise! + What petitions present! + How _teize_ and _torment_! + D--mn their bloods, s--mn their hearts, d--mn their eyes. + Behold yon sober band + Each his notes in his hand; + The witnesses they, whom I brow-beat in vain; + Unconfus'd they remain. + Oh! d--mn their bloods again; + Give the curses due + To the factious crew! + Lo! _Wedgewood_ too waves his [4]_Pitt-pots_ on high! + Lo! he points, where the bottom's yet dry, + The _visage immaculate_ bear; + Be _Wedgewood_ d--mn'd, and double d--mn'd his ware. + D--mn _Fox_, and d--mn _North_; + D--mn _Portland_'s mild worth; + D--mn _Devon_ the good, + Double d--mn all his name; + D--mn _Fitzwilliam_'s blood, + Heir of _Rockingham_'s fame; + D--mn _Sheridan_'s wit, + The terror of _Pitt_; + D--mn _Loughb'rough_, my plague--wou'd his _bagpipe_ were split! + D--mn _Derby_'s long scroll, + Fill'd with names to the brims: + D--mn his limbs, d--mn his soul, + D--mn his soul, d--mn his limbs! + With _Stormont_'s curs'd din, + Hark! _Carlisle_ chimes in; + D--mn _them_; d--mn all their partners of their sin; + D--mn them, beyond what mortal tongue can tell; + Confound, sink, plunge them all to deepest, blackest Hell! + + +[1] This simile of myself I made the other day, coming out of +Westminster Abbey. Lord _Uxbridge_ heard it. I think, however, +that I have improved it here, by the turn which follows. + +[2] I cannot here with-hold my particular acknowledgments to my +virtuous young friend, Mr. Pitt, for the noble manner in which +he contended, on the subject of my reversion, that the most religious +observance must be paid to the _Royal promise_. As I am personally +the more obliged to him, as in the case of the _Auditors of the +Imprest_ the other day, he did not think it necessary to shew any +regard whatever to a _Royal Patent_. + +[3] I originally wrote this line, + But _Hervey_ frowning, as she hears, &c. +It was altered as it now standsj by my d--mn'd Bishop of a brother, +for the sake of an allusion to _Virgil_. + ------Cynthius _aurem + Velit, et admonuit._ + +[4] I am told, that a scoundrel of a Potter, one Mr. _Wedgewood_, is +making 10,000 vile utensils, with a figure of Mr. Pitt in the bottom; +round the head is to be a motto, + We will spit, + On Mr. _Pitt_, +And _other such_ d--mn'd ryhmes, suited to the uses of the different +vessels. + + + + +_NUMBER XVII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE FOR MUSIC, + +BY THE REV. DR. PRETTYMAN. + +_The Notes (except those wherein Latin is concerned) by_ JOHN +ROBINSON, _Esq._ + +RECITATIVE, _by Double Voices._ + [1]Hail to the LYAR! whose all-persuasive strain, + Wak'd by the master-touch of art, + And prompted by th' inventive brain, + [2]Winds its sly way into the easy heart. + +SOLO. + [3]Hark! do I hear the golden tone?-- + Responsive now! and now alone! + Or does my fancy rove? + Reason-born Conviction, hence! + [4]And phrenzy-rapt be ev'ry sense, + With the _Untruth_ I love. + Propitious Fiction aid the song; + Poet and Priest to thee belong. + +SEMI-CHORUS. + [5]By thee inspir'd, ere yet the tongue was glib, + The cradled infant lisp'd the nurs'ry fib; + Thy vot'ry in maturer youth, + Pleas'd, he renounc'd the name of truth; + And often dar'd the specious to defy, + Proud of th' expansive, bold, uncover'd lie. + +AIR. + Propitious FICTION, hear! + And smile, as erst thy father smil'd + Upon his first-born child, + Thy sister dear; + When the nether shades among, + [6]Sin from his forehead sprung. + +FULL CHORUS. + Grand deluder! arch impostor! + Countervailing _Orde_ and _Foster_! + Renoun'd Divine! + The palm is thine: + Be thy name or sung or _hist_, + Alone it stands--CONSPICUOUS FABULIST! + +RECITATIVE _for the celebrated Female Singer from Manchester. +Symphony of Flutes--pianissimo._ + + Now in cotton robe array'd, + Poor Manufacture, tax-lamenting maid, + Thy story heard by her devoted wheel, + Each busy-sounding spindle hush'd-- + +FUGUE. + Now, dreading Irish rape, + Quick shifting voice and shape-- + +DEEP BASS, _from Birmingham._ + With visage hard, and furnace flush'd, + And black-hair'd chest, and nerve of steel, + The sex-chang'd listner stood + In surly pensive mood. + +AIR, _accompanied with double Bassoons, &c._ + While the promise-maker spoke + The anvil miss'd the wonted stroke; + In air suspended hammers hung, + While _Pitt_'s own frauds came mended from that tongue. + +PART OF CHORUS REPEATED. + Renown'd Divine, &c. + +AIR. + Sooth'd with the sound the Priest grew vain, + And all his tales told o'er again, + And added hundreds more; + By turns to this, or that, or both, + He gave the sanction of an oath, + And then the whole forswore. + "Truth," he sung, "was toil and trouble, + Honour but an empty bubble"-- + _Glo'ster_'s aged--_London_ dying-- + Poor, too poor, is simple lying! + If the lawn be worth thy wearing, + Win, oh! win it, by thy swearing! + +FULL CHORUS REPEATED. + Grand deluder! arch-impostor, &c.[7] + +PART II. + +RECITATIVE _accompanied_. + Enough the parents praise--see of Deceit + The fairer progeny ascends! + _Evasion_, nymph of agile feet, + With half-veil'd face; + _Profession_, whispering accents sweet + And many a kindred _Fraud_ attends; + Mutely dealing courtly wiles, + Fav'ring nods, and hope-fraught smiles, + A fond, amusive, tutelary race, + That guard the home-pledg'd faith of Kings-- + Or flitting, light, on paper wings; + Speed Eastern guile across this earthly ball, + And waft it back from _Windsor_ to _Bengal_. + But chiefly thee I woo, of changeful eye, + In courts y'clept _Duplicity!_ + Thy fond looks on mine imprinting, + Vulgar mortals call it squinting-- + Baby, of Art and Int'rest bred, } + Whom, stealing to the back-stairs head } + in fondling arms--with cautious tread, } + [8]Wrinkle-twinkle _Jenky_ bore, + To the baize-lin'd closet door. + +AIR. + Sweet nymph, that liv'st unseen + Within that lov'd recess-- + Save when the Closet Councils press, + And junto's speak the thing they mean; + Tell me, ever-busy power, + Where shall I trace thee in that vacant hour? + Art thou content, in the sequester'd grove, + To play with hearts and vows of love! + Or emulous of prouder sway, + Dost thou to list'ning Senates take thy way? + Thy presence let me still enjoy, + With _Rose_, and the lie-loving boy. + +AIR. + [9]No rogue that goes + Is like that _Rose_, + Or scatters such deceit: + Come to my breast-- + There ever rest + Associate counterfeit! + +_PART III._ + +LOUD SYMPHONY. + But lo! what throngs of rival bards! + More lofty themes! more bright rewards! + See Sal'sbury, a new Apollo sit! + Pattern and arbiter of wit! + The laureate wreathe hangs graceful from his wand; + Begin! he cries, and waves his whiter hand. + 'Tis _George_'s natal day-- + Parnassian Pegassus away-- + Grant me the more glorious steed + Of royal _Brunswick_ breed[10]---- + I kneel, I kneel; + And at his snowy heel, + Pindarick homage vow;-- + He neighs; he bounds; I mount, I fly-- + The air-drawn crosier in my eye, + The visionary mitre on my brow-- + Spirit of hierarchy exalt thy rhyme, + And dedicate to George the lie sublime. + +AIR _for a Bishop._ + [11]Hither, brethren, incense bring, + To the mitre-giving king; + Praise him for his first donations; } + Praise him for his blest translations, } + Benefices, dispensations. } + By the powers of a crown; + By the many made for one; + By a monarch's awful distance, + Rights divine, and non-resistance, + Honour, triumph, glory give-- + Praise him in his might! + Praise him in his height! + The mighty, mighty height of his prerogative! + +RECITATIVE _by an Archbishop._ + Orchestras, of thousands strong, + With Zadoc's zeal each note prolong-- + Prepare! + Prepare! + _Bates_ gives the animating nod-- + Sudden they strike--unnumber'd strings + Vibrate to the best of Kings-- + Eunuchs, Stentors, double basses, + Lab'ring lungs, inflated faces, + Bellows working, + Elbows jerking, + Scraping, beating, + Roaring, Sweating. + Thro' the old Gothic roofs be the chorus rebounded, + 'Till Echo is deafen'd, and thunder dumb-founded: + And now another pause--and now another nod + --All proclaim a present God! + [12]_Bishops and Lords of the Bedchamber_, + George submissive Britain sways; + _Heavy_ Hanover obeys. + Proud Ierne's volunteers, + Abject Commons, prostrate Peers-- + All proclaim a present God-- + (On the necks of all he trod) + A present God! + A present God! + _Hallelujah!_ + + + +[1] Hail to the LYAR!] It was suggested to me, that my friend +the Doctor had here followed the example of Voltaire, in deviating +from common orthography.--_Lyar_, instead of _Lyre_, he conceives to +be a reading of peculiar elegance in the present instance, as it +puts the reader in suspence between an inanimate and a living +instrument. However, for my own part, I am rather of opinion, +that this seeming mis-spelling arose from the Doctor's following +the same well-known circumspection which he exercised in the case +of Mr. Wedgewood, and declining to give his Ode _under his hand_; +preferring to repeat it to Mr. Delpini's Amanuensis, who very +probably may have committed that, and similar errors in orthography. + +[2] Winds its sly way, &c.] A line taken in great part from Milton. +The whole passage (which it may not be unpleasing to recall to +the recollection of the reader) has been closely imitated by +my friend Prettyman, in a former work. + "I, under fair pretence of friendly ends, + And well-placed words of glozing courtesy, + Baited with reasons not unplausible, + _Wind me into the easy-hearted man,_ + And hug him into snares." COMUS. + +[3] Golden tone, &c.] The epithet may seem at first more proper +for the instrument, but it applies here with great propriety to +the sound. In the strictest-sense, what is golden sound but the sound +of gold? and what could arise more naturally in the writer's mind +upon the present occasion? + +[4] Phrenzy-rapt, &c.] Auditis? An me ludit amabilis + Insania?---- + +[5] By thee inspir'd, &c.] In the first manuscript: + "While yet a cradled child, he conquer'd shame, + And lisp'd in fables, for the fables came." See POPE. + +[6] Sin from his forehead sprung.] + "A goddess armed + Out of thy head I sprung." + See MILTON's Birth of Sin. + +[7] The quick transition of persons must have struck the reader in the +first part of this Ode, and it will be observable throughout: Now +Poet, now Muse, now Chorus; then Spinner, Blacksmith, &c. &c. The +Doctor, skips from point to point over Parnassus, with a nimbleness +that no modern imitator of Pindar ever equalled.--Catch him, even +under a momentary shape, who can. I was always an admirer of +tergiversation (and as my flatterers might say), no bad practitioner; +but it remained for my friend to shew the sublimity to which the +figure lam alluding to (I do not know the learned name of it) might be +carried. + +[8] Wrinkle-twinkle, &c.] It must have been already observed by +the sagacious reader, that our author can coin an epithet as well +as a fable. Wrinkles are as frequently produced by the motion of +the part as by the advance of age. The head of the distinguished +personage here described, though in the prime of his faculties, +he had more exercise in every sense than any head in the world. +Whether he means any illusion to the worship of the rising sun, +and imitates the Persian priests, whose grand act of devotion is +to turn round; or whether he merely thinks that the working of +the head in circles will give analogous effect to the species +of argument in which he excels, we must remain in the dark; but +certain it is, that whenever he reasons in public, the _capital_ +and wonderful part of the frame I am alluding to, is continually +revolving upon its axis: and his eyes, as if dazzled with rays +that dart on him exclusively, twinkle in their orbs at the rate +of sixty twinks to one revolution. I trust I have given a rational +account, and not far-fetched, both of the wrinkle and twinkle in +this ingenious compound. + +[9] No rogue that goes, &c.] The candid reader will put no improper +interpretation on the word rogue. Pretty rogue, dear rogue, &c. +are terms of endearment to one sex; pleasant rogue, witty rogue, +apply as familiar compliments to the other: Indeed _facetious rogue_ +is the common table appellation of this gentleman in Downing-street. + +[10] It will be observed by the attentive reader, that the thought +of mounting the Hanoverian Horse, as a Pegasus, has been employed +by Mr. Dundas, in his Ode preserved in this collection. It is true, +the Doctor has taken the reins out of his hands, as it was time +somebody should do. But I hereby forewarn the vulgar Critic, from +the poor joke of making the Doctor a horse-stealer. + +[11] Hither, brethren, &c.] When this Ode is performed in Westminster +Abbey (as doubtless it will be) this Air is designed for the Reverend, +or rather the Right Reverend Author. The numerous bench (for there +will hardly be more than three absentees) who will begin to chaunt +the subsequent chorus from their box at the right hand of his most +sacred Majesty, will have fine effect both on the ear and eye. + +[12] Lords of the bed-chamber, &c.] Candour obliges us to confess, +that this designation of the performers, and in truth the following +stanza, did not stand in the original copy, delivered into the +Lord Chamberlain's Office. Indeed, Signor Delpini had his doubts +as to the legality of admitting it, notwithstanding Mr. Rose's +testimony, that it was actually and _bona fide_ composed with the rest +of the Ode, and had only accidentally fallen into the same drawer +of Mr. Pitt's bureau in which he had lately mislaid Mr. Gibbins's +note. Mr. Banks's testimony was also solicited to the same effect; +but he had left off vouching for the present session. Mr. Pepper +Arden, indeed, with the most intrepid liberality, engaged to find +authority for it in the statutes at large; on which Signor Delpini, +with his usual terseness of repartee, instantly exclaimed, Ha! ha! ha! +However, the difficulty was at length obviated by an observation of +the noble Lord who presided, that in the case of the King versus +Arkinson, the House of Lords had established the right: of judges +to amend a record, as Mr. Quarme had informed his Lordship +immediately after his having voted for that decision. + _Here end Mr. Robinson's notes._ + "A present God, + Heavy Hanover, + Abject Commons," &c. + The imitation will be obvious to the classical reader, + ------Praesens divus habebitur + Augustus, _ab_jectis Britannis, + Imperio, _gravibusque_ Persis. HOR. +All the editors of Horace have hitherto read _ad_jectis Britannis. +Our author, as sound a critic as a divine, _suo periculo_, makes +the alteration of a single letter, and thereby gives a new and +peculiar force to the application of the passage.----N.B. _Abject_, +in the author's understanding of the word, means that precise degree +of submission due from a free people to monarchy. It is further worthy +remark, that Horace wrote the Ode alluded to; before Britain was +subjected to absolute sway; and consequently the passage was meant as +a prophetic compliment to Augustus. Those who do not think that +Britain is yet sufficiently _abject_, will regard the imitation in the +same light. We shall close this subject by observing, how much better +GRAVIBUS applies in the imitation than in the original; and how well +the untruth of Ierne's volunteers joining in the deification, +exemplifies the dedicatory address of the lie SUBLIME! + + + + +_NUMBER XVIII._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, + +_By the_ MARQUIS OF GRAHAM. + +I. + Help! help! I say, Apollo! + To you I call, to you I hollo; + My Muse would fain bring forth; + God of Midwives come along + Bring into light my little song, + See how its parent labours with the birth; + My brain! my brain! + What horrid pain; + Come, now prithee come, I say: } + Nay, if you won't, then stay away-- } + Without thy help, I've sung full many a lay. } + +II. + To lighter themes let other bards resort; + My verse shall tell the glories of the Court. + Behold the Pensioners, a martial band; + Dreadful, with rusty battle-axe in hand-- + Quarterly and daily waiters, + A lustier troop, ye brave Beefeaters, + Sweepers, Marshals, Wardrobe brushers, + Patrician, and Plebeian ushers; + Ye too, who watch in inner rooms; + Ye Lords, ye Gentlemen, and Grooms; + Oh! careful guard your royal Master's slumber, + Lest factious flies his sacred face incumber. + But ah! how weak my song! + Crouds still on crouds impetuous rush along, + I see, I see, the motly group appear, + Thurlow in front, and Chandos in the rear; + Each takes the path his various genius guides-- + O'er Cabinets _this_, and _that_ o'er Cooks presides! + +III. + Hail! too, ye beds, where, when his labour closes, + With ponderous limbs great CINCINNATUS doses! + Oh! say what fate the Arcadian King betides + When playful Mab his wandering fancy guides, + Perhaps he views his HOWARD's wit + Make SHERIDAN submissive sit; + Perhaps o'er foes he conquest reaps: + Perhaps some ditch he dauntless leaps; + Now shears his people, now his mutton; + Now makes a Peer, and now a button. + Now mightier themes demand his care; + HASTINGS for assistance flies; + Bulses glittering skim the air; + Hands unstretch'd would grasp the prize, + But no diamond they find there; + For awak'd, by amorous pat, + Good lack! his gentle CHARLOTTE cries, + What would your Majesty be at? + The endearing question kindles fierce desire, + And all the monarch owns the lover's fire; + The pious King fulfils the heav'nly plan, + And little annual BRUNSWICKS speak the mighty man! + +IV. + At Pimlico an ancient structure stands, + Where Sheffield erst, but Brunswick now commands; + Crown'd with a weathercock that points at will, + To every part but Constitution-hill-- + Hence Brunswick, peeping at the windows, + Each star-light night, + Looks with delight, + And sees unseen, + And tells the Queen, + What each who passes out or in, does, + Hence too, when eas'd of Faction's dread, + With joys surveys, + The cattle graze, + At half a crown a head-- + Views the canal's transparent flood, + Now fill'd with water, now with mud; + Where various seasons, various charms create, + Dogs in the summer swim, and boys in winter skait. + +V. + Oh! for the pencil of a Claud Lorrain, + Apelles, Austin, Sayer, or Luke the saint-- + What glowing scenes;--but ah! the grant were vain, + I know not how to paint---- + Hail! Royal Park! what various charms are thine-- + Thy patent lamps pale Cynthia's rays outshine-- + Thy limes and elms with grace majestic grow, + All in a row; + Thy Mall's smooth walk, and sacred road beside, + Where Treasury Lords by Royal Mandate ride. + Hark! the merry fife and drum: + Hark! of beaus the busy hum; + While in the gloom of evening shade, + Gay wood-nymphs ply their wanton trade; + Ah! nymphs too kind, each vain pursuit give o'er-- + If Death should call--you then can walk no more! + See the children rang'd on benches; + See the pretty nursery wenches; + The cows, secur'd by halters, stand, + Courting the ruddy milk-maid's hand. + Ill-fated cows, when all your milk they've ta'en, + At Smithfield sold, you'll fatten'd be and slain.-- + +VI. + Muse, raise thine eyes and quick behold, + The Treasury-office fill'd with gold; + Where Elliot, Pitt, and I, each day } + The tedious moments pass away, } + In business now, and now in play---- } + The gay Horse-guards, whose clock of mighty fame, + Directs the dinner of each careful dame, + Where soldiers with red coats equipp'd, + Are sometimes march'd, and sometimes whipp'd. + Let them not doubt---- + 'Twas heav'n's eternal plan + That perfect bliss should ne'er be known to man. + Thus Ministers, are in--are out, + Turn and turn about---- + Even Pitt himself may lose his place, } + Or thou, Delpini, sovereign of grimace, } + Thou, too, by some false step, may'st meet disgrace. } + +VII. + Ye feather'd choristers, your voices tune, + 'Tis now, or near the fourth of June; + All nature smiles--the day of Brunswick's birth + Destroy'd the iron-age, and made an heav'n on earth. + Men and beasts his name repeating, + Courtiers talking, calves a-bleating; + Horses neighing, + Asses braying, + Sheep, hogs, and geese, with tuneful voices sing, + All praise their King, + George the Third, the Great, the Good. + France and Spain his anger rue; + Americans, he conquer'd you, + Or would have done it if he cou'd. + And 'midst the general loyal note, + Shall not his _gosling_ tune his throat; + Then let me join the jocund hand, + Crown'd with laurel let me stand; + My grateful voice shall their's as far exceed, + As the two-legg'd excels the base four-footed breed. + + + + +_NUMBER XIX._ + +LETTER FROM THE RT. HON. LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +TO THE EARL OF SALISBURY. + +MY LORD, +Being informed from undoubted authority, that the learned _Pierot_, +whom your Lordship has thought proper to nominate to the dignity +of your Assessor, knows no language but his own, it seemed to me +probable he might not understand _Irish_.--Now as I recollect my +last Ode to have proceeded on the orthography of that kingdom, +I thought his entire ignorance of the tongue might perhaps be some +hindrance to his judgment, upon its merit. On account of this +unhappy ignorance, therefore, on the part of the worthy _Buffo_, +of any language but _Italian_, I have taken the liberty to present +your Lordship and him with a second Ode, written in _English_; +which I hope he will find no difficulty in understanding, and which +certainly has the better chance of being perfectly correct in the +true English idiom, as it has been very carefully revised and +altered by my worthy friend, Mr. _Henry Dundas_. + I have the honour to be, + My Lord, + Your Lordship's devoted servant, + MOUNTMORRES. + + * * * * * + +ODE, + +_By the_ RT. HON. HARVEY REDMOND MORRES, +LORD VISCOUNT MOUNTMORRES, +OF THE KINGDOM OF IRELAND, &c. + +I. + Ye gentle Nymphs, who rule the Song, + Who stray _Thessalian_ groves among, + With forms so bright and airy; + Whether you pierce _Pierian_ shades, } + Or, less refin'd, adorn the glades, } + And wanton with the lusty blades } + Of fruitful _Tipperary_; + Whether you sip Aonias' wave, + Or in thy stream, fair _Liffy_, lave; + Whether you taste ambrosial food; + Or think _potatoes_ quite as good, + Oh, listen to an _Irish_ Peer, + Who has woo'd your sex for many a year. + +II. + _Gold!_--thou bright benignant pow'r! + Parent of the jocund hour, + Say, how my breast has heav'd with many a storm, + When thee I worship'd in a _female_ form! + Thou, whose high and potent skill, + Turns things and persons at thy will! + Thou, whose omnipotent decree, + Mighty as Fate's eternal rule, + Can make a wise man of a fool, + And grace e'en loath'd deformity: + Can straitness give to her that's crook'd, + And _Grecian_ grace to nose that's hook'd; + Can smooth the mount on _Laura_'s back, + And wit supply to those that lack: + Say, and take pity on my woes, + Record my throbs, recount my throes; + How oft I sigh'd, + How oft I dy'd: + How oft dismiss'd, + How seldom kiss'd; + How oft, fair _Phyllida_, when thee I woo'd + With cautious foresight all thy charms I view'd. + O'er many a sod, + How oft I trod, + To count thy acres o'er; + Or spent my time, + For marle or lime, + With anxious zeal to bore[1]! + How _Cupid_ then all great and powerful sate, + Perch'd on the vantage of a rich estate; + When, for his darts, he us'd fair spreading trees, + Ah! _who_ cou'd fail that shot with shafts like these! + +III. + Oh, sad example of capricious Fate! + Sue _Irishmen_ in vain! + Does _Pompey_'s self, the proud, the great, + Fail e'en a maid to gain? + What boots my form so tall and slim, + My legs so stout--my beard so grim? + Why have I _Alexander_'s bend? + Emblem of conquest never gain'd! + A nose so long--a back so strait-- + A chairman's mien--a chairman's gait? + Why wasted ink to make orations? + Design'd to teach unlist'ning nations! + Why have I view'd th' ideal clock[2], + Or mourn'd the visionary hour? + Griev'd to behold with well-bred shock, + The fancy'd pointer verge _to four?_ + Then with a bow, proceed to beg, + A general pardon on my leg-- + "Lament that to an hour so late," + "'Twas mine to urge the grave debate!" + "Or mourn the rest, untimely broken!" + All this to say--all this to do, + In form so native, neat, and new, + In speech _intended_ to be spoken!-- + But fruitless all, for neither here or there, + My _leg_ has yet obtain'd me _place_, or _fair!_ + +IV. + _Pompeys_ there are of every shape and size: + Some are the Great, y-clep'd, and some the Little, + Some with their deeds that fill the wond'ring skies, + And some on ladies' laps that eat their vittle! + 'Tis _Morres_' boast--'tis _Morres_' pride, + To be to both ally'd! + That of all various _Pompeys_, he + Forms one complete _epitome_! + Prepar'd alike fierce Faction's host to fight, + Or, thankful, stoop _official crumbs_ to bite-- + No equal to himself on earth to own; + Or watch, with anxious eye, on _Treasury-bone!_ + As Rome's fam'd chief, imperious, stiff, and proud; + Fawning as curs, when supplicating food! + In him their several virtues all reside, + The peerless Puppy, and of Peers the pride! + +V. + Say, Critic _Buffo_, will not powers like these, + E'en thy refin'd fastidious judgment please? + A common _butt_ to all mankind, + 'Tis my hard lot to be; + O let me then some justice find, + And give the BUTT to me! + Then dearest DE'L, + Thy praise I'll tell, + And with _unprostituted_ pen. + In _Warton_'s pure and modest strain, + Unwarp'd by Hope--unmov'd by Gain, + I'll call the "best of husbands," and "most chaste of men!" + Then from my pristine labours I'll relax: + _Then will I lay the Tree unto the [3]Axe!_ + Of all my former grief-- + Resign the bus'ness of the anxious chace, + And for past failures, and for past disgrace, + Here find a snug relief! + The vain pursuit of female game give o'er, + And, hound of _Fortune_, scour the town no more! + + +[1] When Lord Mountmorres went down into the country, some years +ago; to pay his addresses to a lady of large fortune, whose name +we forbear to mention, his Lordship took up his abode for several +days in a small public-house in the neighbourhood of her residence, +and employed his time in making all proper enquiries, and prudent +observation upon the nature, extent, and value of her property:--he +was seen measuring the trees with his eye, and was at last found in +the act of boring for marle; when being roughly interrogated by one +of the ladie's servants, to avoid chastisement he confessed his name, +and delivered his amorous credentials. The amour terminated as ten +thousand others of the noble Lord's have done! + +[2] An allusion is here made to a speech published by the noble Lord, +which, as the title-page imports, was _intended_ to have been spoken; +in which his Lordship, towards the conclusion, gravely +remarks:--"Having, Sir, so long encroached upon the patience of the +House, and observing by the clock that the hour has become so +excessively late, nothing remains for me but to return my sincere +thanks to you, Sir, and the other gentlemen of this House, for the +particular civility; and extreme attention, with which I have been +heard:--the interesting nature of the occasion has betrayed me into a +much greater length than I had any idea originally of running into; +and if the casual warmth _of the moment_ has led me into the least +personal indelicacy towards any man alive, I am very ready to beg +pardon of him and this House, Sir, for having so done." + +[3] This line is literally transcribed from a speech of Lord +_Mountmorre_'s, when Candidate some years ago for the Representation +of the City of Westminster. + + + + +_NUMBER XX._ + +IRREGULAR ODE, +FOR THE +KING'S BIRTH-DAY, +_By_ SIR GEORGE HOWARD, K. B. + +CHORUS. + Re mi fa sol, + Tol de rol lol. + +I. + My Muse, for George prepare the splendid song, + Oh may it float on Schwellenburgen's voice! + Let Maids of Honour sing it all day long, + That Hoggaden's fair ears may hear it, and rejoice. + +II. + What subject first shall claim thy courtly strains? + Wilt thou begin from Windsor's sacred brow, + Where erst, with pride and pow'r elate, + The Tudors sate in sullen state, + While Rebel Freedom, forc'd at length to bow, + Retir'd reluctant from her fav'rite plains? + Ah! while in each insulting tower you trace + The features of that tyrant race, + How wilt thou joy to view the alter'd scene! + The Giant Castle quits his threat'ning mien; + The levell'd ditch no more its jaws discloses, } + But o'er its mouth, to feast our eyes and noses, } + Brunswick hath planted pinks and roses; } + Hath spread smooth gravel walks, and a small bowling green! + +III. + Mighty Sov'reign! Mighty Master! + George is content with lath and plaister! + At his own palace-gate, + In a poor porter's lodge, by Chambers plann'd, + See him with Jenky, hand in hand, + In serious mood, + Talking! talking! talking! talking! + Talking of affairs of state, + All for his country's good! + Oh! Europe's pride! Britannia's hope! + To view his turnips and potatoes, + Down his fair Kitchen-garden's slope + The victor monarch walks like Cincinnatus. + See, heavenly Muse! I vow to God + 'Twas thus the laurel'd hero trod-- + Sweet rural joys! delights without compare! + Pleasure shines in his eyes, } + While George with surprize, } + Sees his cabbages rise, } + And his 'sparagus wave in the air! + +IV. + But hark! I hear the sound of coaches, + The Levee's hour approaches-- + Haste, ye Postillions! o'er the turnpike road; + Back to St. James's bear your royal load! + 'Tis done--his smoaking wheels scarce touch'd the ground-- + By the Old Magpye and the New, } + By Colnbrook, Hounslow, Brentford, Kew, } + Half choak'd with dust the monarch flew, } + And now, behold, he's landed safe and sound.-- + Hail to the blest who tread this hallow'd ground! + Ye firm, invincible beefeaters, } + Warriors, who love their fellow-creatures, } + I hail your military features! } + Ye gentle, maids of honour, in stiff hoops, + Buried alive up to your necks, + Who chaste as Phoenixes in coops, + Know not the danger that await your sex! + Ye Lords, empower'd by fortune or desert, + Each in his turn to change your sovereign's shirt! + Ye Country Gentlemen, ye City May'rs, + Ye Pages of the King's back-stairs, + Who in these precincts joy to wait-- + Ye courtly wands, so white and small, + And you, great pillars of the State, + Who at Stephen's slumber, or debate, + Hail to you all!!! + +CHORUS. + Hail to you all!!! + +V. + Now, heavenly Muse, thy choicest song prepare: + Let loftier strains the glorious subject suit: + Lo! hand in hand, advance th' enamour'd pair, + This Chatham's son, and that the drudge of Bute; + Proud of their mutual love, + Like Nisus and Euryalus they move, + To Glory's steepest heights together tend, + Each careless for himself, each anxious for his friend! + Hail! associate Politicians! + Hail! sublime Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish Propositions! + Sooner our gracious King + From heel to heel shall cease to swing; + Sooner that brilliant eye shall leave its socket; + Sooner that hand desert the breeches pocket, + Than constant George consent his friends to quit, + And break his plighted faith to Jenkinson and Pitt! + +CHORUS. + Hail! most prudent Politicians! + Hail! correct Arithmeticians! + Hail! vast exhaustless source of Irish propositions! + +VI. + Oh! deep unfathomable Pitt! + To thee Ierne owes her happiest days! + Wait a bit, + And all her sons shall loudly sing thy praise! + Ierne, happy, happy Maid! + Mistress of the Poplin trade! + Old Europa's fav'rite daughter, + Whom first emerging from the water, + In days of yore, + Europa bore, + To the celestial Bull! + Behold thy vows are heard, behold thy joys are full! + Thy fav'rite Resolutions greet, + They're not much changed, there's no deceit! + Pray be convinc'd, they're still the true ones, + Though sprung from thy prolific head, + Each resolution hath begotten new ones, + And like their sires, all Irish born and bred! + Then haste, Ierne, haste to sing, + God save great George! God save the King! + May thy sons' sons to him their voices tune, + And each revolving year bring back the fourth of June! + + + + +_NUMBER XXI._ + +ADDRESS. + +Agreeably to the request of the Right Reverend Author, the following +Ode is admitted into this collection; and I think it but justice +to declare, that I have diligently scanned it on my fingers; and, +after repeated trials, to the best of my knowledge, believe the Metre +to be of the Iambic kind, containing three, four, five, and six feet +in one line, with the occasional addition of the hypercatalectic +syllable at stated periods. I am, therefore, of opinion, that +the composition is certainly verse; though I would not wish to +pronounce too confidently. For further information I shall print +his Grace's letter. + +TO SIR JOHN HAWKINS, BART. + +SIR JOHN, +As I understand you are publishing an authentic Edition of the +Probationary Odes. I call upon you to do me the justice of inserting +the enclosed. It was rejected on the Scrutiny by Signor Delpini, +for reasons which must have been suggested by the malevolence +of some rival. The reasons were, 1st, That the Ode was nothing +but prose, written in an odd manner; and, 2dly, That the Metre, +if there be any, as well as many of the thoughts, are stolen from +a little Poem, in a Collection called the UNION. To a man, blest +with an ear so delicate as your's, Sir John, I think it unnecessary +to say any thing on the first charge; and as to the second, (would +you believe it?) the Poem from which I am accused of stealing is +my own! Surely an Author has a right to make free with his own ideas, +especially when, if they were ever known, they have long since +been forgotten by his readers. You are not to learn, Sir John, +that _de non apparentibus & non existentibus eadem est ratio:_ +and nothing but the active spirit of literary jealousy, could +have dragged forth my former Ode from the obscurity, in which +it has long slept, to the disgrace of all good taste in the present +age. However, that you and the public may see, how little I have +really taken, and how much I have opened the thoughts, and improved +the language of that little, I send you _my imitations of myself_, +as well as some few explanatory notes, necessary to elucidate +my classical and historical allusions. + + I am, SIR JOHN, + With every wish for your success, + Your most obedient humble servant, + WILLIAM YORK. + + * * * * * + +PINDARIC ODE, + +By DR. W. MARKHAM, +Lord Archbishop of York, Primate of England, and Lord High Almoner +to his Majesty, formerly Preceptor to the Princes, Head Master of +Westminster School, &c. &c. &c. + +STROPHE I. + The priestly mind what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure prelatic spirit, + As loyal gratitude? + More to my King, than to my God, I owe; + God and my father made me man, + Yet not without my mother's added aid; + But George, without, or God, or man, + With grace endow', and hallow'd me Archbishop. + +ANTISTROPHE I. + In Trojan PRIAM's court a laurel grew; + So VIRGIL sings. But I will sing the laurel, + Which at St. JAMES's blooms. + O may I bend my brows from that blest tree, + Not flourishing in native green, + Refreshed with dews from AGANIPPE's spring: + But, [1]like the precious plant of DIS, + Glitt'ring with gold, with royal sack irriguous. + +EPODE I. + So shall my aukward gratitude, + With fond presumption to the Laureat's duty + Attune my rugged numbers blank. + Little I reck the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, + And tell of Tory principles, + The right Divine of Kings; + And Power Supreme that brooks not bold contention: + Till all the zeal monarchial + That fired the Preacher, in the Bard shall blaze, + And what my Sermons were, my Odes once more shall be. + +STROPHE II. + [2]Good PRICE, to Kings and me a foe no more, + By LANSDOWN won, shall pay with friendly censure + His past hostility. + Nor shall not He assist, my pupil once, + Of stature small, but doughty tongue, + Bold ABINGDON, whose rhetoric unrestrain'd, + Rashes, more lyrically wild, + [3]Than GREENE's mad lays, when he out-pindar'd PINDAR. + +ANTISTROPHE II. + With him too, EFFINGHAM his aid shall join, + [4] Who, erst by GORDON led, with bonfires usher'd + His Sov'reign's natal month. + Secure in such allies, to princely themes, + To HENRY's and to EDWARD's young. + Dear names, I'll meditate the faithful song; + How oft beneath my birch severe, + Like EFFINGHAM and ABINGDON, they tingled: + +EPODE II. + Or to the YOUTH IMMACULATE + Ascending thence, I'll sing the strain celestial, + By PITT, to bless our isle restor'd. + _Trim_ plenty, _not luxuriant_ as of old, + Peace, laurel-crown'd no more; + [5] Justice, that smites by scores, unmov'd; + And her of verdant locks, + Commerce, like Harlequin, in motley vesture, + [6]Whose magic sword with sudden sleight, + Wav'd o'er the HIBERNIAN treaty, turns to bonds, + The dreams of airy wealth, that play'd round PATRICK's[7] eyes. + +STROPHE III. + But lo! yon bark, that rich with India spoils, + O'er the wide-swilling ocean rides triumphant, + Oh! to BRITANNIA's shore + In safety waft, ye winds, the precious freight! + 'Tis HASTINGS; of the prostrate EAST + Despotic arbiter; whose [8] bounty gave + My MARKHAM's delegated rule + To riot in the plunder of BENARES. + +ANTISTROPHE III. + How yet affrighted GANGES, oft distain'd + With GENTOO carnage, quakes thro' all his branches! + Soon may I greet the morn, + When, HASTINGS screen'd, DUNDAS and GEORGE's name. + Thro' BISHOPTHORP's[9] glad roofs shall sound, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or in thy chosen PLACE, ST. JAMES, + Be carol'd loud amid th' applauding IMHOFFS! + +EPODE III. + When wealthy Innocence, pursued + By Factious Envy, courts a Monarch's succour, + Mean gifts of vulgar cost, alike + Dishonour him, who gives, and him, who takes. + Not thus shall HASTINGS sav'd, + Thee, BRUNSWICK, and himself disgrace. + [10]O may thy blooming Heir, + In virtues equal, be like thee prolific! + Till a new race of little GUELPS, + Beneath the rod of future MARKHAMS train'd, + Lisp on their Grandsire's knee his mitred Laureat's lays. + + +[1] See Virgil's AEneid, b. vi. + +[2] During the Administration of Lord SHELBURNE, I was told by +a friend of mine, that Dr. PRICE took occasion, in his presence, +to declare the most lively abhorrence of the damnable heresies, +which he had formerly advanced against the _Jure divino_ doctrines, +contained in some of my Sermons. + +[3] See a translation of PINDAR, by EDWARD BURNABY GKEENE. + +[4] This alludes wholly to a private anecdote, and in no degree +to certain malicious reports of the noble Earl's conduct during +the riots of June, 1780. + +[5] The present Ministry have twice gratified the public, with +the awfully sublime spectacle of twenty hanged at one time. + +[6] These three lines, I must confess, have been interpolated +since the introduction of the fourth Proposition in the new _Irish_ +Resolutions. They arose, however, quite naturally out of my preceding +personification of commerce. + +[7] I have taken the liberty of employing _Patrick_ in the same +sense as _Paddy_, to personify the people of _Ireland_. The latter +name was too colloquial for the dignity of my blank verse. + +[8] One of the many frivolous charges brought against Mr. Hastings +by factious men, is the removal of a Mr. FOWKE, contrary to the +orders of the Directors, that he might make room for his own +appointment of my so to the Residentship of BENARES. I have ever +thought it my duty to support the late Governor-General, both at +Leadenhall and in the House of Peers, against all such vexatious +accusations. + +[9] As many of my Competitors have complained of Signer Delpini's +ignorance, I cannot help remarking here, that he did not know +BISHOPTHORP to be the name of my palace, in Yorkshire; he did +not know Mr. Hastings's house to be in St. James's-place; he did +not know Mrs. Hastings to have two sons by Mynheer _Imhoff_, her +former husband, still living. And what is more shameful than +all in a Critical Assessor, he had never heard of the poetical +figure, by which I elegantly say, _thy place, St. James's,_ instead +of _St. James's-place_. + +[10] Signor Delpini wanted to strike out all that follows, because +truly it had no connection with the rest. The transition, like +some others in this and my former Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq. may +be too fine for vulgar apprehensions, but it is therefore the +more Pindaric. + + +IMITATIONS OF MYSELF. + +_Strophe_ I. + This goodly frame what virtue so approves, + And testifies the pure aetherial spirit, + As mild benevolence? + _My Ode to Arthur Onslow, Esq._ + +_Epode_ I. + How shall my aukward gratitude, + And the presumption of untutor'd duty + Attune thy numbers all too rude? + Little he recks the meed of such a song; + Yet will I stretch aloof, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ II. + To HENRYS and to EDWARDS old, + Dread names, I'll meditate the faithful song, &c. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ II. + Justice with steady brow, + _Trim_ plenty, _Laureat_ peace, and _green-hair'd_ commerce, + In flowing robe of _thousand hues_, &c. +On this imitation of myself, I cannot help remarking, how happily +I have now applied some of these epithets, which, it must be +confessed, had not half the propriety before. + +_Strophe_ III. + Or trace her navy, where in towering pride + O'er the wide-swelling waste it rolls avengeful. + _Ibid_. + +_Antistrophe_ III. + How headlong Rhone and Ebro, erst distain'd + With Moorish carnage, quakes thro' all her branches! + Soon shall I greet the morn, + When, Europe saved, BRITAIN and GEORGE's name + Shall soon o'er FLANDRIA's level field, + Familiar in domestic merriment; + Or by the jolly mariner + Be carol'd loud adown the echoing Danube. + _Ibid_. + +_Epode_ III. + O may your rising hope, + Well-principled in every virtue, bloom, + 'Till a fresh-springing flock implore, + With infant hands, a Grandsire's powerful prayer, + Or round your honour'd couch their pratling sports pursue. + + + + +_NUMBER XXII._ + +ODE, + +_By the_ REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. + +Fellow of the Trinity College, in Oxford, late Professor of Poetry +in that University, and now Poet Laureat to his Majesty. + +I. + Amid the thunder of the war, + True glory guides no echoing car; + Nor bids the sword her bays bequeath; + Nor stains with blood her brightest wreath: + No plumed host her tranquil triumphs own: + Nor spoils of murder'd multitudes she brings, + To swell the state of her distinguish'd, kings, + And deck her chosen throne. + On that fair throne, to Britain dear, + With the flowering olive twin'd, + High she hangs the hero's spear; + And there, with all the palms of peace combin'd, + Her unpolluted hands the milder trophy rear. + To kings like these, her genuine theme, + The Muse a blameless homage pays; + To GEORGE, of kings like these supreme, + She wishes honour'd length of days, + Nor prostitutes the tribute of her lays. + +II. + 'Tis his to bid neglected genius glow, + And teach the regal bounty how to flow; + His tutelary sceptre's sway + The vindicated Arts obey, + And hail their patron King: + 'Tis his to judgment's steady line + Their flights fantastic to confine, + And yet expand their wing: + The fleeting forms of Fashion to restrain, + And bind capricious Taste in Truth's eternal chain. + Sculpture, licentious now no more, + From Greece her great example takes, + With Nature's warmth the marble wakes, + And spurns the toys of modern lore: + In native beauty, simply plann'd, + Corinth, thy tufted shafts ascend; + The Graces guide the painter's hand, + His magic mimicry to blend. + +III. + While such the gifts his reign bestows, + Amid the proud display, + Those gems around the throne he throws + That shed a softer ray: + While from the summits of sublime Renown + He wafts his favour's universal gale, + With those sweet flowers he binds a crown + That bloom in Virtue's humble vale. + With rich munificence, the nuptial tye, + Unbroken he combines:---- + Conspicuous in a nation's eye, + The sacred pattern shines! + Fair Science to reform, reward, and raise, + To spread the lustre of domestic praise; + To foster Emulation's holy flame, + To build Society's majestic frame: + Mankind to polish and to teach, + Be this the monarch's aim; + Above Ambition's giant-reach + The monarch's meed to claim. + +The illustrious _Arbiters_, of whom we may with great truth describe +the noble Earl as the very _alter-ipse_ of _Maecenas_, and the worthy +_Pierot_, as the most correct counterpart of _Petronius_, had +carefully revised the whole of the preceding productions, and had +indulged the defeated ambition of restless and aspiring Poetry, with a +most impartial and elaborate _Scrutiny_ (the whole account of which, +faithfully translated from the Italian of _Signor Delpini_, and the +English of the _Earl of Salisbury_, will, in due time, be submitted +to the inspection of the curious), were preparing to make a legal +return, when an event happened that put a final period to their +proceedings.--The following is a correct account of this interesting +occurrence: + +On Sunday the 17th of the present month, to wit, July, Anno Domini, +1785, just as his Majesty was ascending the stairs of his gallery, +to attend divine worship at WINDSOR, he was surprized by the +appearance of a little, thick, squat, red-faced man, who, in a +very odd dress, and kneeling upon one knee, presented a piece of +paper for the Royal acceptation. His Majesty, amazed at the sight +of such a figure in such a place, had already given orders to one +of the attendant beef-eaters to dismiss him from his presence, +when, by a certain hasty spasmodic mumbling, together with two or +three prompt quotations from Virgil, the person was discovered to be +no other than the Rev. Mr. _Thomas Warton_ himself, dressed in the +official vesture of his professorship, and the paper which he held +in his hand being nothing else but a fair-written petition, designed +for the inspection of his Majesty, our gracious Sovereign, made up +for the seeming rudeness of the first reception, by a hearty embrace +on recognition; and the contents of the petition being forthwith +examined, were found to be pretty nearly as follows.----We omit +the common-place compliments generally introduced in the exordia +of these applications, as "relying upon your Majesty's well-known +clemency;" "convinced of your Royal regard for the real interest +of your subjects;" "penetrated with the fullest conviction of your +wisdom and justice," &c. &c. which, though undoubtedly very true, +when considered as addressed to George the Third, _might_, perhaps, +as matters of mere form, be applied to a Sovereign, who neither +had proved wisdom nor regard for his subjects in one act of his reign, +and proceed to the substance and matter of the complaint itself. +It sets forth, "That the Petitioner, Mr. _Thomas_, had been many years +a maker of Poetry, as his friend Mr. _Sadler_, the pastry-cook, of +Oxford, and some other creditable witnesses, could well evince: +that many of his works of fancy, and more particularly that one, +which is known by the name of his _Criticisms upon Milton_, had been +well received by the learned; that thus encouraged, he had entered +the list, together with many other great and respectable candidates, +for the honour of a succession to the vacant _Laureatship_; that a +decided return had been made in his favour by the officers best +calculated to judge, namely, the Right Hon. the Earl of Salisbury, +and the learned _Signor Delpini_, his Lordship's worthy coadjutor; +that the Signor's delicacy, unhappily for the Petitioner, like that +of Mr. _Corbett_, in the instance of the Westminster election, had +inclined him to the grant of a SCRUTINY; that in consequence of the +vexatious and pertinacious perseverance on the part of several +gentlemen in this illegal and oppressive measure, the Petitioner +had been severely injured in his spirits, his comforts, and his +interest: that he had been for many years engaged in a most laborious +and expensive undertaking, in which he had been honoured with the +most liberal communications from all the universities in Europe, +to wit, a splendid and most correct edition of the _Poemata Minora_, +of the immortal Mr. _Stephen Duck_; that he was also under positive +articles of literary partnership with his brother, the learned and +well-known Dr. _Joseph_, to supply two pages per day in his new work, +now in the press, entitled his Essay _on the Life and Writings_ of +Mr. THOMAS HICKATHRIFT; in both of which great undertakings, the +progress had been most essentially interrupted by the great anxiety +and distress of mind, under which the Petitioner has for some time +laboured, on account of this inequitable scrutiny; that the Petitioner +is bound by his honour and his engagement to prepare a new Ode for +the birth-day of her most gracious Majesty, which he is very desirous +of executing with as much poetry, perspicuity, and originality, as +are universally allowed to have characterised his last effusion, +in honour of the Natal Anniversary of his Royal Master's sacred +self; that there are but six months to come for such a preparation, +and that the Petitioner has got no farther yet than 'Hail Muse!' +in the first stanza, which very much inclines him to fear he shall +not be able to finish the whole in the short period above-mentioned, +unless his Majesty should be graciously pleased to order some of +his Lords of the Bed-chamber to assist him, or should command a +termination to the vexatious enquiry now pending. In humble hopes +that these several considerations would have their due influence +with his Majesty, the Petitioner concludes with the usual prayer, +and signed himself as underneath, &c. &c. &c. + THO. WARTON, B.D. &c. &c." + +Such was the influence of the above admirable appeal on the +sympathetic feelings of Majesty, that the sermon, which we understand +was founded upon the text, "_Let him keep his tongue from evil, and +his lips that they speak no untruth_," and which was _not_ preached by +Dr. _Prettyman_, was entirely neglected, and a message instantly +written, honoured by the Sign Manual, and directed to the office +of the Right Hon. Lord _Sydney_, Secretary for the Home Department, +enjoining an immediate redress for Mr. _Thomas_, and a total +suspension of any further proceedings in a measure which (as the +energy of Royal eloquence expressed it) was of such unexampled +injustice, illegality, and oppression, as that of a _scrutiny after a +fair poll, and a decided superiority of admitted suffrages_. This +message, conveyed, as its solemnity well required, by no other Person +than the Honourable young _Tommy_ himself, Secretary to his amazing +father, had its due influence with the Court; the Noble Lord broke his +wand; Mr. _Delpini_ executed a _chacone_, and tried at a _somerset_; +he grinned a grim obedience to the mandate, and calling for pen, ink, +and paper, wrote the following letter to the Printer of that favourite +diurnal vehicle through whose medium these effusions had been +heretofore submitted to the public: + +"_Monsieur_, +On vous requis, you are hereby commandie not to pooblish any more +of de _Ode Probationare--mon cher ami, Monsieur George le Roi_, says +it be ver bad to vex Monsieur le petit homme avec le grand +paunch--_Monsieur Wharton_, any more vid scrutinee; je vous commande +derefore to finis--Que le Roi soit loue!--God save de King! mind vat I +say--ou le grand George and le bon Dieu damn votre ame & bodie, vos +jambes, & vos pies, for ever and ever--pour jamais. + (Signed) DELPINI." + +Nothing now remained, but for the Judges to make their return, +which having done in favour of Mr. _Thomas Warton_, the original +object of their preference, whom they now pronounced duly elected, +the following Imperial notice was published in the succeeding +Saturday's _Gazette_, confirming the Nomination, and giving legal +Sanction to the Appointment. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + +To all CHRISTIAN PEOPLE to whom these presents shall come, greeting, + +Know Ye, That by and with the advice, consent, concurrence, and +approbation of our right trusty and well-beloved cousins, James Cecil, +Earl of Salisbury, and Antonio Franciso Ignicio Delpini, Esq. Aur. +and Pierot to the Theatre-royal, Hay-market, WE, for divers good +causes and considerations, us thereunto especially moving, have +made, ordained, nominated, constituted, and appointed, and by +these presents do make, ordain, nominate, constitute, and appoint, +the Rev. Thomas Warton, B.D. to be our true and only legal Laureat, +Poet, and Poetaster; that is to say, to pen, write, compose, +transpose, select, dictate, compile, indite, edite, invent, design, +steal, put together, transcribe, frame, fabricate, manufacture, +make, join, build, scrape, grub, collect, vamp, find, discover, +catch, smuggle, pick-up, beg, borrow, or buy, in the same manner +and with the same privileges as have been usually practised, and +heretofore enjoyed by every other Laureat, whether by our Sacred +Self appointed, or by our Royal predecessors, who now dwell with +their fathers: and for this purpose, to produce, deliver, chaunt, +or sing, as in our wisdom aforesaid we shall judge proper, at the +least three good and substantial Odes, in the best English or +German verse, in every year, that is to say, one due and proper Ode +on the Nativity of our blessed Self; one due and proper Ode on +the Nativity of our dearest and best beloved Royal Consort, for +the time being; and also one due and proper Ode on the day of the +Nativity of every future Year, of which God grant We may see many. +And we do hereby most strictly command and enjoin, that no Scholar, +Critic, Wit, Orthographer, or Scribbler, shall, by gibes, sneers, +jests, judgments, quibbles, or criticisms, molest, interrupt, +incommode, disturb, or confound the said Thomas Warton, or break the +peace of his orderly, quiet, pains-taking, and inoffensive Muse, in +the said exercise of his said duty. And we do hereby will and direct, +that if any of the person or persons aforesaid, notwithstanding our +absolute and positive command, shall be found offending against +this our Royal Proclamation, that he, she, or they being duly +convicted, shall, for every such crime and misdemeanor, be punished +in the manner and form following; to wit--For the first offence he +shall be drawn on a sledge to the most conspicuous and notorious +part of our ever faithful city of London, and shall then and there, +with an audible voice, pronounce, read, and deliver three several +printed speeches of our right, trusty, and approved MAJOR JOHN +SCOTT.--For the second offence, that he be required to translate into +good and lawful English one whole unspoken speech of our right +trusty and well-beloved cousin and councellor, Lord Viscount +MOUNTMORRES, of the kingdom of _Ireland_;--and for the third offence, +that he be condemned to read one whole page of the Poems, Essays, +or Criticisms of our said Laureat, Mr. Thomas Warton.----And whereas +the said office of Laureat is a place of the last importance, +inasmuch as the person holding it has confided to him the care +of making the Royal virtues known to the world; and we being minded +and desirous that the said T. Warton should execute and perform +the duties of his said office with the utmost dignity and decorum, +NOW KNOW YE, That we have thought it meet to draw up a due and +proper Table of Instructions, hereunto annexed, for the use of +the said Thomas Warton, in his said poetical exercise and employment, +which we do hereby most strictly will and enjoin the said Thomas +Warton to abide by and follow, under pain of incurring our most +high displeasure. + + Given at our Court at St. James's, this + 30th day of May, one thousand seven + hundred and eighty-five. + _Vivant Rex & Regina._ + + + + +TABLE OF INSTRUCTIONS + +FOR THE +REV. THOMAS WARTON, B.D. AND P.L. &c. &c. + _Chamberlain's Office, May 30th, 1785._ + +1st, That in fabricating the catalogue of Regal Virtues (in which +task the Poet may much assist his invention by perusing the Odes +of his several predecessors) you be particularly careful not to +omit his Chastity, his skill in Mechanics, and his Royal Talent +of Child-getting.-- + +2dly, It is expected that you should be very liberally endowed +with the gift of Prophecy; but be very careful not to predict any +event but what may be perfectly acceptable to your Sovereign, such +as the subjugation of America, the destruction of the Whigs, +long-life, &c. &c. + +3dly, That you be always provided with a due assortment of true, +good-looking, and legitimate words; and that you do take all +necessary care not to apply them but on their proper occasions; +as for example, not to talk of dove-eyed peace, nor the gentle +olive, in time of war; nor of trumpets, drums, fifes, nor +[1]ECHOING CARS, in times of peace--as, for the sake of poetical +conveniency, several of your predecessors have been known to do. + +4thly, That as the Sovereign for the time being must always be +the best, the greatest, and the wisest, that ever existed; so +the year also, for the time being, must be the happiest, the +mildest, the fairest, and the most prolific that ever occurred.--What +reflections upon the year past you think proper. + +5thly, That Music being a much higher and diviner science than +Poetry, your Ode must always be adapted to the Music, and not +the Music to your Ode.--The omission of a line or two cannot be +supposed to make any material difference either in the poetry +or in sense. + +6thly, That as these sort of invitations have of late years been +considered by the Muses as mere cards of compliment, and of course +have been but rarely accepted, you must not waste more than twenty +lines in invoking the Nine, nor repeat the word "Hail!" more than +fifteen times at farthest. + +7thly, And finally, That it may not be amiss to be a little +intelligible[2]. + +[1] It is evident from this expression, that these instructions +had not been delivered to Mr. Warton at the time of his writing +his last famous Ode on the Birth-day of his Majesty: a circumstance +which makes that amazing composition still more extraordinary. + +[2] This is an additional proof that Mr. Warton had not received, +the Instructions at the time he composed his said Ode. + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES; + +BY +THE AUTHORS +OF +_THE ROLLIAD_ +AND +PROBATIONARY ODES. + + * * * * * + + -- LONGAEVO DICTA PARENTI + HAUD DUBITANDA REFER. VIRGIL. + + + + +TO THE PUBLIC. + +The very favourable reception given to the ROLLIAD, and PROBATIONARY +ODES, has induced the Editor to conceive, that a collection of +political _Jeus d'Esprits_, by the authors of those celebrated +performances, would prove equally acceptable. Various publications +upon a similar plan have already been attempted; but their good +things have been so scantily interspersed, that they have appeared +like GRATIANO's reasons, "_as two grains of_ WHEAT _in a bushel of_ +CHAFF." In the present Edition are contained not only a number +of pieces which have at different times been given to the Public, +but also a variety of Original Articles, which but for the flattering +confidence of private friendship, would have still remained in +the closets of their authors. MISCELLANIES, indeed, in any state, +from the variety which they afford, must ever be attractive; but, +when added to this inherent advantage, they also possess the benefit +of a proper selection, their attraction must of necessity become +materially enhanced. The fame of the Authors of the following +sheets is too well established in the mind of every person of +taste and literature, to derive any aid from our feeble panegyric. +It is only to be lamented that, from the peculiar circumstances +under which these their poetical offspring make their appearance, +the Parents' names cannot be announced to the world with all that +parade which accompanies a more legal intercourse with the Muses. +Perhaps, however, the vigour and native energy of the Parents, +appear much more prominent in these ardent inspirations of nature, +than in the cold, nerveless, unimpassioned efforts of a legitimate +production. It may here be objected by some fastidious critics, +that if writings, evidently so reputable to the fame of the authors, +are of such a construction as to be unfit to be acknowledged, that +they are equally unfit for publication: but let these gentlemen +recollect, that it has ever been held perfectly justifiable to +utter those sarcasms under a masque, which the strict rules of +decorum would render inadmissible in any other situation. The shafts +of ridicule have universally been found more efficacious in correcting +folly and impertinence, than the most serious reproof; and while +we pursue the example of POPE, SWIFT, ARBUTHNOT, ADDISON, and others +of the wittiest, the wisest, and the best men of the age in which +they lived, we shall little fear the cavils of ill-nature. If it +should be urged that the subjects of these political productions +are merely temporary, and will be forgotten with the hour which +gave them birth; let it at the same time be recollected, that though +the heroes of the DUNCIAD have sunk into their native obscurity, +the reputation of the poem which celebrated their worth, still +retains its original splendour. And, in truth, as a matter of equity, +if blockheads and dunces are worthy to be recorded in the Poet's +page, why may not Privy Councillors and Lords of the Bedchamber +demand a similar exaltation? + + + + +POLITICAL MISCELLANIES. + + * * * * * + +PROBATIONARY ODE +EXTRAORDINARY, +_By the Rev_. W. MASON, M.A. + +[The following second attempt of Mr. MASON, at the ROYAL SACK, was +not inserted in the celebrated collection of Odes formed by Sir +JOHN HAWKINS.--What might be the motive of the learned Knight for +this omission can at present only be known to himself.--Whether +he treasured it up for the next edition of his Life of Dr. JOHNSON, +or whether he condemned it for its too close resemblance to a +former elegant lyric effusion of the Rev. Author, must remain for +time, or Mr, FRANCIS BARBER, to develope.--Having, however, been +fortunate enough to procure a copy, we have printed both the Odes +in opposite leaves, that in case the latter supposition should +turn out to be well founded, the public may decide how far the worthy +magistrate was justified in this exclusion.] + + +ODE ODE + +_To the Honourable_ WILLIAM PITT. _To the Right Hon._ WILLIAM PITT. + +_By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ _By_ W. MASON, _M.A._ + + Me nyn, oti phthonerhai "Give not the Mitre now! + Thnaton phrenas amphikremantai Lest base-tongued ENVY squinting at my + elpides, brow, + Met arena poet siyato patroan, Cry, 'lo! the price for CAVENDISH + betray'd!' + Mede tousd hymnous. But in good time nor that, oh! PITT! + PINDAR, Isthm. Ode 2. forget, + Nor my more early service yet unpaid, + My puffs on CHATHAM in his offspring's + aid, + Not what this loyal Ode shall add to + swell the debt." + MY OWN TRANSLATION. + + + I. I. + 'Tis May's meridian reign; yet Eurus 'Tis now the TENTH of APRIL; yet the + cold wind + Forbids each shrinking thorn its In frigid fetters doth each blossom + leaves unfold, bind, + Or hang with silver buds her rural No silver buds her rural throne + throne: emboss: + No primrose shower from her green lap No violets _blue_ from her _green_ lap + she throws[1], she throws[2]; + No daisy, violet, or cowslip blows, Oh! lack-a-daisy! not a daisy blows, + And Flora weeps her fragrant And (ere she has them) FLORA weeps + offspring gone. their loss. + Hoar frost arrests the genial dew; Hoar frost, with bailiff's grizly + hue, + To wake, to warble, and to woo At Winter's suit, arrests the dew; + No linnet calls his drooping No Cuckow wakes her drowsy mate: + love: + Shall then the poet strike the His harp then shall a Parson + lyre, strum, + When mute are all the feather'd When other Blackbirds all are + quire, dumb, + And Nature fails to warm the syrens of When neither Starlings, Daws, or + the grove? Magpies prate? + + II. II. + He shall: for what the sullen Spring He shall: for what the sulky Spring + denies denies, + The orient beam of virtuous youth An annual butt of sugar'd SACK + supplies: supplies; + That moral dawn be his inspiring That beverage sweet be his inspiring + flame. flame, + Beyond the dancing radiance of the Cloath'd in the radiant influence of + east the East, + Thy glory, son of CHATHAM! fires his Thy glory, son of CHATHAM, fires his + breast, breast; + And proud to celebrate thy vernal And swift to adulate thy vernal + fame. fame, + Hark, from this lyre the strain Hark! from his lyre a strain is + ascends, heard, + Which but to Freedom's fav'rite In hopes, ere long, to be + friends preferred, + That lyre disdains to sound. To sit in state 'midst mitred + peers. + Hark and approve, as did thy Hark and approve! as did thy sire, + sire[3] + The lays which once with kindred The lays which, nodding by the + fire fire, + His muse in attic mood made Mona's To gentle slumbers sooth'd his + oaks rebound. listening ears. + + III. III. + Long silent since, save when, in Long silent since, save when on + KEPPEL's name, t'other side, + Detraction, murd'ring BRITAIN's naval In KEPPEL's praise to little purpose + fame, tried, + Rous'd into sounds of scorn th' I rous'd to well-feign'd scorn the + indignant string[4]. indignant string; + But now, replenish'd with a richer But now replete with a more hopeful + theme, theme, + The vase of harmony shall pour its The o'erflowing ink-bottle shall pour + stream, its stream, + Fann'd by free Fancy's Through quills by Dullness pluck'd + rainbow-tinctur'd wing. from gosling's downy wing. + Thy country too shall hail the St. JAMES's too shall hail the + song, song, + Her echoing heart the notes Her echoing walls the notes + prolong; prolong, + While they alone with [5]envy Whilst they alone with sorrow + sigh, sigh. + Whose rancour to thy parent dead Whose reverence for thy parent + dead, + Aim'd, ere his funeral rites were Now bids them hang their drooping + paid, head, + With vain vindictive rage to starve And weep, to mark the conduct of his + his progeny. progeny. + + IV. IV. + From earth and these the muse averts From these the courtly muse averts her + her view, eye. + To meet in yonder sea of ether blue To meet with genuine unaffected joy + A beam to which the blaze of noon is A scene that passes in the Closet's + pale: gloom; + In purpling circles now the glory In whitening circles the dim glory + spreads, spreads, + A host of angels now unveil their Bedchamber Lords unveil their powder'd + heads, heads, + While heav'n's own music triumphs on And Tory triumphs sound throughout + the gale. the room: + Ah see, two white-rob'd seraphs Ah! see two Jannisaries lead + lead + Thy father's venerable shade; Illustrious BUTE's thrice-honour'd + shade; + He bends from yonder cloud of Behind yon curtain did he stand, + gold, + While they, the ministers of Whilst they (which Whigs with + light, horror mark) + Bear from his breast a mantle Bear from his cloak a lantern + bright, dark, + And with the heav'n-wove robe thy And trust the hallow'd engine to thy + youthful limbs enfold. youthful hand. + + V. V. + "Receive this mystic gift, my son!" he "Receive this mystic gift, brave boy," + cries, he cries, + "And, for so wills the Sovereign of "And if so please the Sovereign of the + the skies, skies, + With this receive, at ALBION's With this receive at GEORGE's + anxious hour, anxious hour, + A double portion of my patriot zeal, A double portion of my Tory zeal, + Active to spread the fire it dar'd to Active to spread the fire it dared to + feel feel, + Thro' raptur'd senates, and with Through venal senates, and with + awful power boundless pow'r, + From the full fountain of the tongue From the full fountain of the + tongue, + To call the rapid tide along To roll a tide of words along, + Till a whole nation caught the Till a whole nation is deceived. + flame. + So on thy sire shall heav'n bestow, So shall thy early labours gain + A blessing TULLY fail'd to know, A blessing BUTE could ne'er attain; + And redolent in thee diffuse thy In fact, a Courtier be, yet Patriot be + father's fame. believed. + + VI. VI. + "Nor thou, ingenuous boy! that Fame "Nor thou, presumptuous imp, that fame + despise disown, + Which lives and spreads abroad in Which draws its splendor from a + Heav'n's pure eyes, monarch's throne, + The last best energy of noble Sole energy of many a lordly mind, + mind[6]; + Revere thy father's shade; like him Revere the shade of BUTE, subservient + disdain still + The tame, the timid, temporizing To the high dictates of the Royal + train, will; + Awake to self, to social interest Awake to self, to social interest + blind: blind. + Young as thou art, occasion calls, Young as thou art, occasion calls, + Thy country's scale or mounts or Prerogative or mounts or falls + falls + As thou and thy compatriots As thou and thy compatriots[7] + strive; strive, + Scarce is the fatal moment past Scarce in the fatal moment past + That trembling ALBION deem'd her Which Secret Influence deem'd her + last, last, + O knit the union firm, and bid an Oh! save the expiring fiend, and bid + empire live. her empire live! + + VII. VII. + "Proceed, and vindicate fair Freedom's "Proceed!--Uphold Prerogative's high + claim, claim, + Give life, give strength, give Give life, give strength, give + substance to her name; substance to her name! + The native rights of man with Fraud The rights divine of Kings with + contest. Whigs contest; + Yes, snatch them from Corruption's Save them from Freedom's bold + baleful power, incroaching hand, + Who dares, in Day's broad eye, those Who dares, in Day's broad eye, those + rights devour, rights withstand, + While prelates bow, and bless the And be by Bishops thy endeavours + harpy feast. bless'd!" + If foil'd at first, resume thy If foil'd at first, resume thy + course, course, + Rise strengthen'd with ANTAEAN Whilst I, though writing worse and + force, worse, + So shall thy toil in conquest Thy glorious efforts will + end. record; + Let others court the tinsel things Let others seek by other ways, + That hang upon the smile of kings, The public's unavailing praise, + Be thine the muse's wreath; be thou Be mine the BUTT OF SACK--be thou the + _the people's friend_." TREASURY'S LORD! + + +[1] This expression is taken from Milton's song on May Morning, +to which this stanza in general alludes, and the 4th verse in +the next. + +[2] Improved from Milton. + +[3] The poem of Curactacus was read in Ms. by the late Earl of +Chatham, who honoured it with an approbation which the author +is here proud to record. + +[4] See Ode to the Naval Officers of Great Britain, written 1779. + +[5] See the motto from Pindar. + +[6] in allusion to a fine and well-known passage in MILTON's Lycidas. + +[7] Messrs. JENKINSON, ROBINSON, DUNDAS, &c. &c. + + + + +THE STATESMEN: + +AN ECLOGUE. + +LANSDOWNE. + While on the Treasury-Bench you, PITT, recline, + And make men wonder at each vast design; + I, hapless man, my harsher fate deplore, + Ordain'd to view the regal face no more; + That face which erst on me with rapture glow'd, 5 + And smiles responsive to my smiles bestow'd: + But now the Court I leave, my native home, + "A banish'd man, condemn'd in woods to roam;" + While you to senates, BRUNSWICK's mandates give, + And teach white-wands to chaunt his high prerogative. 10 + +PITT. + Oh! LANSDOWNE, 'twas a more than mortal pow'r + My fate controul'd, in that auspicious hour, + When TEMPLE deign'd the dread decree to bring, + And stammer'd out the _Firmaun_ of the King: + That power I'll worship as my houshold god, 15 + Shrink at his frown, and bow beneath his nod; + At every feast his presence I'll invoke, + For him my kitchen fires shall ever smoke; + Not mighty HASTINGS, whose illustrious breath + Can bid a RAJAH live, or give him death, 20 + Though back'd by SCOTT, by BARWELL, PALK, and all + The sable squadron scowling from BENGAL; + Not the bold Chieftain of the tribe of PHIPPS, + Whose head is scarce less handsome than his ship's; + Not bare-breech'd GRAHAM, nor bare-witted ROSE, 25 + Nor the GREAT LAWYER with the LITTLE NOSE; + Not even VILLIERS' self shall welcome be, + To dine so oft, or dine so well as he. + +LANSDOWNE. + Think not these sighs denote one thought unkind, + Wonder, not Envy, occupies my mind; 30 + For well I wot on that unhappy day, + When BRITAIN mourn'd an empire giv'n away; + When rude impeachments menaced from afar, + And what gave peace to FRANCE--to us was war; + For awful vengeance Heav'n appeared to call, 35 + And agonizing Nature mark'd our fall. + Dire change! DUNDAS's cheek with blushes glow'd, + GRENVILLE was dumb, MAHON no phrenzy show'd; + Though DRAKE harrangu'd, no slumber GILBERT fear'd, + And MULGRAVE's mouth like other mouths appear'd; 40 + In vain had BELLAMY prepar'd the meat; + In vain the porter; BAMBER could not eat; + When BURKE arose no yell the curs began, + And ROLLE, for once, half seem'd a gentleman: + Then name this god, for to St. JAMES's Court, 45 + Nor gods nor angels often make resort. + +PITT. + In early youth misled by Honour's rules, + That fancied Deity of dreaming fools; + I simply thought, forgive the rash mistake, + That Kings should govern tor their People's sake: 50 + But Reverend JENKY soon these thoughts supprest, + And drove the glittering phantom from my breast; + JENKY! that sage, whom mighty George declares, + Next SCHWELLENBURGEN, great on the back stairs: + 'Twas JENKINSON--ye Deacons, catch the sound! 55 + Ye Treasury scribes, the sacred name rebound! + Ye pages, sing it--echo it, ye Peers! + And ye who best repeat, Right Reverend Seers! + Whose pious tongues no wavering fancies sway, + But like the needle ever point one way. 60 + +LANSDOWNE. + Thrice happy youth! secure from every change, + Thy beasts unnumber'd, 'mid the Commons range; + Whilst thou, by JOVE's aetherial spirit fired, + Or by sweet BRUNSWICK's sweeter breath inspired, + Another ORPHEUS every bosom chear, 65 + And sticks, and stocks, and stones, roar _hear! hear! hear!_ + Raised by thy pipe the savage tribes advance, + And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance: + For me no cattle now my steps attend, + Ev'n PRICE and PRIESTLY, wearied, scorn their friend; 70 + And these twin sharers of my festive board, + Hope of my flock, now seek some richer Lord. + +PITT. + Sooner shall EFFINGHAM clean linen wear, + Or MORNINGTON without his star appear; + Sooner each prisoner BULLER's law escape; 75 + Sooner shall QUEENSBURY commit a rape; + Sooner shall POWNEY, HOWARD's noddle reach; + Sooner shall THURLOW hear his brother preach; + Sooner with VESTRIS, Bootle shall contend; + Sooner shall EDEN not betray his friend; 80 + Sooner DUNDAS an Indian bribe decline; + Sooner shall I my chastity resign; + Sooner shall Rose than PRETTYMAN lie faster, + Than PITT forget that JENKINSON's his maker. + +LANSDOWNE. + Yet oft in times of yore I've seen thee stand 85 + Like a tall May-pole 'mid the patriot band; + While with reforms you tried each baneful art, + To wring fresh sorrows from your Sovereign's heart; + That heart, where every virtuous thought is known, + But modestly locks up and keeps them all his own. 90 + +PITT. + 'Twas then that PITT, for youth such warmth allows, + To wanton Freedom paid his amorous vows; + Lull'd by her smiles, each offer I withstood, + And thought the greatest bliss my country's good. + 'Twas pride, not passion, madden'd in my brain, 95 + I wish'd to rival FOX, but wish'd in vain; + Fox, the dear object of bright Freedom's care, + Fox still the favourite of the BRITISH fair; + But while with wanton arts the syren strove + To fix my heart, and wile me to her love; 100 + Too soon I found my hasty choice to blame, + --Freedom and Poverty are still the same-- + While piles of massy gold his coffers fill, + Who votes subservient to his Sovereign's will. + +LANSDOWNE. + Enough, break off--on RICHMOND I must wait; 105 + And DEBBIEG too will think I stay too late; + Yet ere I go some friendly aid I'd prove, + The last sad tribute of a master's love. + In that famed College where true wisdom's found, + For MACHIAVELIAN policy renown'd, 110 + The pious pastors first fill'd LANSDOWNE's mind, + With all the lore for Ministers design'd: + Then mark my words, and soon those Seers shall see + Their famed IGNATIUS far outdone in thee;-- + In every action of your life be shown, 115 + You think the world was made for you alone; + With cautious eye each character survey, + Woo to deceive, and promise to betray; + Let no rash passion Caution's bounds destroy, + And ah! no more appear "THE ANGRY BOY!" 120 + +PITT. + Yet stay--Behold the Heav'ns begin to lour, + And HOLLAND threatens with a thunder show'r; + With me partake the feast, on this green box, + Full fraught with many a feast for factious Fox; + Each sapient hint that pious PRETTY gleans, 125 + And the huge bulk of ROSE's Ways and Means; + See too the smoaky citizens approach, + Piled with petitions view their Lord Mayor's coach; + Ev'n now their lengthen'd shadows reach this floor, + Oh! that d--n'd SHOP-TAX--AUBREY, shut the door! 130 + + +THE STATESMEN.] It will be unnecessary to inform the classical +reader, that this Eclogue evidently commences as an imitation +of the 1st. of Vergil--the Author, however, with a boldness +perfectly characteristic of the personages he was to represent, +has in the progress of his work carefully avoided every thing +like a too close adherence to his original design. + +Line 8.--_A banish'd man_, &c.] Vide the noble Marquis's celebrated +speech, on the no less celebrated IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +Line 14.--_And stammer'd out the_ FIRMAUN, &c.] When a language +happens to be deficient in a word to express a particular idea, +it has been ever customary to borrow one from some good-natured +neighbour, who may happen to be more liberally furnished. Our Author, +unfortunately, could find no nation nearer than TURKEY, that was +able to supply him with an expression perfectly apposite to the +sentiment intended to be here conveyed. + +Line 25.--_Not bare-breeche'd_ GRAHAM.] His Lordship some time since +brought in a bill to relieve his countrymen from those habilliments +which in ENGLAND are deemed a necessary appendage to decorum, but +among our more northern brethren are considered as a degrading +shackle upon natural liberty. Perhaps, as the noble Lord was then +on the point of marriage, he might intend this offering of his +_opima spolia_, as an elegant compliment to HYMEN. + +Line 51.--_But Reverend_ JENKY.] Our Author here, in some measure +deviating from his usual perspicuity, has left us in doubt whether +the term _Reverend_ is applied to the years or to the profession +of the gentleman intended to be complimented. His long experience +in the secrets of the CRITICAL REVIEW, and BUCKINGHAM HOUSE, would +well justify the former supposition; yet his early admission into +DEACON'S ORDERS will equally support the latter: our readers +therefore must decide, while we can only sincerely exult in his +Majesty's enjoyment of a man whose whole pious life has been spent +in sustaining that beautiful and pathetic injunction of scripture, +"SERVE GOD, AND HONOUR THE KING." + +Line 68.--_And Bulls and Bears in mystic mazes dance_.] The beautiful +allusion here made to that glorious state of doubt and obscurity +in which our youthful Minister's measures have been invariably +involved, with its consequent operation on the stockholders, is +here most fortunately introduced.--What a striking contrast does +Mr. PITT's conduct, in this particular, form to that of the Duke +of PORTLAND, Mr. Fox, and your other _plain matter of fact men!_ + +Line 83.--_Sooner shall_ ROSE _than_ PRETTYMAN _lie faster_.] This +beautiful compliment to the happy art of embellishment, so wonderfully +possessed by this _par nobile fratrum_, merits our warmest applause; +and the skill of our author no where appears more conspicious than +in this line, where, in refusing to give to either the pre-eminence, +he bestows the _ne plus ultra_ of excellence on both. + + + + +RONDEAU. + +HUMBLY INSCRIBED + +_To the_ RIGHT HON. WILLIAM EDEN, ENVOY EXTRAORDINARY _and_ MINISTER +PLENIPOTENTIARY _of Commercial Affairs at the Court of_ VERSAILLES. + + + Of EDEN lost, in ancient days, + If we believe what MOSES says, + A paltry pippin was the price, + One crab was bribe enough to entice + Frail human kind from Virtue's ways. + + But now, when PITT, the all-perfect, sways, + No such vain lures the tempter lays, + Too poor to be the purchase twice, + Of EDEN lost. + + The Dev'l grown wiser, to the gaze + Six thousand pounds a year displays, + And finds success from the device; + Finds this fair fruit too well suffice + To pay the peace, and honest praise, + Of EDEN lost. + + +ANOTHER. + + "A mere affair of trade to embrace, + Wines, brandies, gloves, fans, cambricks, lace; + For this on me my Sovereign laid + His high commands, and I obeyed; + Nor think, my lord, this conduct base. + + "Party were guilt in such a case, + When thus my country, for a space, + Calls my poor skill to DORSET's aid + A mere affair of trade!" + + Thus EDEN, with unblushing face, + To NORTH would palliate his disgrace; + When NORTH, with smiles, this answer made: + "You might have spared what you have said; + I thought the business of your place + A mere affair of trade!" + + +ANOTHER. + + Around the tree, so fair, so green, + Erewhile, when summer shone serene, + Lo! where the leaves in many a ring, + Before the wint'ry tempest wing, + Fly scattered o'er the dreary scene: + + Such, NORTH, thy friends. Now cold and keen + Thy Winter blows; no shelt'ring skreen + They stretch, no graceful shade they fling + Around the tree. + + Yet grant, just Fate, each wretch so mean, + Like EDEN, pining in his spleen + For posts, for stars, for strings, may swing + On two stout posts in hempen string! + Few eyes would drop a tear, I ween, + Around the tree. + + +ANOTHER. + + "The JORDAN have you been to see?" + Cried FOX, when late with shuffling plea, + Poor EDEN stammer'd at excuse, + But why the JORDAN introduce? + What JORDAN too will here agree? + + That JORDAN which from spot could free + One man unclean here vain would be: + If yet those powers of wond'rous use + The JORDAN have! + + One fitter JORDAN of the three + Would I for EDEN's meed decree; + With me then open every sluice, + And foaming high with streams profuse, + For EDENS head may all with me + The JORDAN have! + + +ANOTHER. + + For EDEN's place, where circling round + EUPHRATES wash'd the hallow'd mound, + The learned long in vain have sought; + 'Twas GREECE, 'twas POLAND, some have taught; + Some hold it in the deluge drown'd: + PITT thinks his search at PARIS crown'd; + See the Gazette his proofs expound! + Yet who of looking there had thought + For EDEN's place! + + No;--view yon frame with dirt embrown'd, + Some six feet rais'd above the ground, + Where rogues, exalted as they ought, + To peep through three round holes are brought, + There will the genuine spot be found + For EDEN's place! + + + + +EPIGRAMS + +_On the_ IMMACULATE BOY + + That Master PITT seems + To be fond of extremes, + No longer is thought any riddle; + For sure we may say, + 'Tis as plain as the day, + That he always kept clear of the middle. + + +ANOTHER. + + 'Tis true, indeed, we oft abuse him, + Because he bends to no man; + But Slander's self dares not accuse him + Of stiffness to a woman. + + +ANOTHER. + + "No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that," quoth PITT, "I'll die;" + Cries WILBERFORCE, "If not till then, + By G--d you must outlive all men[1]." + + +ANOTHER[2]. + + On _fair and equal_ terms to place + An union is thy care; + But trust me, POWIS, in this case + The _equal_ should not please his Grace, + And PITT dislikes the _fair_. + + +ANOTHER. + + The virulent fair, + Protest and declare, + This Ministry's not to their hearts; + For say what they will, + To them Master BILL + Has never discover'd his parts. + + +ANOTHER. + + ----_Ex nihilo nil fit._ + + When PITT exclaim'd, "By measures I'll be tried," + That false appeal all woman-kind denied. + + +ANOTHER. + + Incautious Fox will oft repose + In fair one's bosom thoughts of worth; + But PITT his secrets keeps so close, + No female arts can draw them forth. + + +ANOTHER. + + Had PITT to his advice inclined, + SIR CECIL had undone us; + But he, a friend to womankind, + Would nothing lay upon us. + ANCILLA. + + +ANOTHER. + + _On_ Mr. PITT's _Prudence_. + + Though PITT have to women told some things, no doubt; + Yet his private affairs they have never found out. + + +ANOTHER. + + Who dares assert that virtuous PITT + Partakes in female pleasures; + For know there ne'er was woman yet + Could e'er endure half measures. + + +ANOTHER. + +_Puer loquitur._ + + Though big with mathematic pride, + By me this axiom is denied; + I can't conceive, upon my soul, + My parts are equal to the _whole_. + + +[1] "No! no! for my virginity, + When I lose that," quoth PITT, "I'll die; + Behind the elms last night," quoth DICK, + "Rose, were you not extremely sick?" PRIOR. + +[2] A coalition between the DUKE OF PORTLAND and Mr. PITT, was +attempted to be formed by Mr. POWIS, and the other Country +Gentlemen.--This endeavour, however, was defeated in consequence of +Mr. PITT's construction of the terms _fair and equal_. + + + + +THE DELAVALIAD. + +Why, says an indignant poet, should Mr. ROLLE alone, of all the +geniuses that distinguish the present period, be thought the only +person of worth or talents enough to give birth and name to an +immortal effusion of divine poesy? He questions not that great +man's pretensions; far from it; he reveres his ancestors, adores +his talents, and feels something hardly short of idolatry towards +his manners and accomplishments.--But still, why such profusion +of distinction towards one, to the exclusion of many other high +characters? Our Poet professes to feel this injustice extremely, +and has made the following attempt to rescue one deserving man from +so unmerited an obloquy. The reader will perceive the measure to +be an imitation of that which has been so deservedly admired in +our immortal bard, in his play of "_As You Like It._" + + From the East to the Western Inde + No Jewel is like Rosalind; + Her worth being mounted on the wind, + Thro' all the world bears Rosalind, &c. &c. + +This kind of verse is adopted by the poet to avoid any appearance +of too servile an imitation of the ROLLIAD. He begins, + + Ye patriots all, both great and small, + Resign the palm to DELAVAL; + The virtues would'st thou practise all, + So in a month did DELAVAL. + A _patriot_ first both stout and tall, + Firm for the day was DELAVAL. + The friend to court, where frowns appal, + The next became good DELAVAL.-- + Wilt thou against oppression bawl? + Just so did valiant DELAVAL! + Yet in a month, thyself enthral, + So did the yielding DELAVAL: + Yet give to both, a dangerous fall, + So did reflecting DELAVAL. + If resignation's good in all, + Why so it is in DELAVAL: + For if you p--- against a wall, + Just so you may 'gainst DELAVAL: + And if with foot you kick a ball, + E'en so you may--a DELAVAL. + 'Gainst _influence_ would'st thou vent thy gall, + Thus did the patriot DELAVAL: + Yet servile stoop to Royal call, + So did the loyal DELAVAL. + What friend to Freedom's fair-built Hall, + Was louder heard than DELAVAL? + Yet who the _Commons_ rights to maul, + More stout was found than DELAVAL? + --'Gainst Lords and Lordlings would'st thou brawl, + Just so did he--SIR DELAVAL: + Yet on thy knees, to honours crawl, + Oh! so did he--LORD DELAVAL. + An evil sprite possessed SAUL, + And so it once did DELAVAL. + Music did soon the sense recal, + Of ISRAEL's King, and DELAVAL, + SAUL rose at DAVID's vile cat-call. + --Not so the wiser DELAVAL: + 'Twas money's sweetest _sol, la fal_, + That chear'd the sense of DELAVAL-- + When royal power shall instal, + With honours new LORD DELAVAL; + Who won't say--the _miraculous_ hawl + Is caught by faithful DELAVAL? + 'Gainst rapine would'st thou preach like Paul, + Thus did religious DELAVAL: + Yet screen the scourges of Bengal, + Thus did benignant DELAVAL. + To future times recorded shall + Be all the worths of DELAVAL: + E'en OSSIAN, or the great FINGAL, + Shall yield the wreath to DELAVAL. + From Prince's court to cobler's stall, + Shall sound the name of DELAVAL: + For neither sceptre nor the awl, + Are strong and keen as DELAVAL.-- + Some better praise, than this poor scrawl, + Shall sing the fame of DELAVAL: + For sure no song can ever pall, + That celebrates great DELAVAL: + Borne on all fours, the fame shall sprawl. + To latest time--of DELAVAL: + Then come, ye Nine, in one great squall, + Proclaim the worths of DELAVAL. + +[_The annotations of the learned are expected._] + + + + +THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT GEORGE[1] BUILT. + +Lord NUGENT.--This is the RAT, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. FOX.--This is the CAT, that killed the Rat, that eat the +Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +PEPPER ARDEN.--This is the DOG, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Lord THURLOW.--This is the BULL with the crumpled horn, that +roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, +that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +Mr. PITT.--This is the MAIDEN[2] all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + +Mr. DUNDAS.--This is the SCOT by all forsworn, that wedded[3] +the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled +horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that +killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in the House that +George built. + +Mr. WILKES.--This is the PATRIOT covered with scorn, that flattered +the Scot by all forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, +that coaxed the Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with +the Dog, that barked at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat +the Malt, that lay in the House that George built. + +CONSCIENCE.--This is the COCK that crowed in the morn, that waked +the Patriot covered with scorn, that flattered the Scot by all +forsworn, that wedded the Maiden all forlorn, that coaxed the +Bull with the crumpled horn, that roared with the Dog, that barked +at the Cat, that killed the Rat, that eat the Malt, that lay in +the House that George built. + + +[1] George Nugent Grenville, Marquis of Buckingham. + +[2] The immaculate continence of the BRITISH SCIPIO, so strongly +insisted on by his friends, as constituting one of the most shining +ingredients of his own uncommon character, is only alluded to here +as a received fact, and not by any means as a reproach. + +[3] _Wedded_. This Gentleman's own term for a Coalition. + + + + +EPIGRAMS, + +_By_ SIR CECIL WRAY. + +First published in the Gentleman's Magazine, under the signatures +of DAMON, PHILOMELA, NOLENS VOLENS, and CRITANDER. + + +_To_ CELIA (_now Lady_ WRAY), _on Powdering her Hair._ + + EXTEMPORE. + + Thy locks, I trow, fair maid, + Don't never want this aid: + Wherefore thy powder spare, + And only _comb_ thy hair. + +_To Sir_ JOSEPH MAWBEY, _proposing a Party to go a-fishing for White +Bait._ + + Worthy SIR JOE, we all are wishing, + You'd come with us a-White-Bait-fishing. + +_On seeing a Ladybird fly off_ CELIA'_s Neck, after having perched +on it for many minutes._ + + I thought (God bless my soul!) + Yon ladybird her mole-- + I thought--but devil take the thing, + It proved my error--took to wing-- + +_A Thought on_ NEW MILK. + + Oh! how charming is New Milk! + Sweet as sugar--soft as silk! + +_Familiar Verses, addressed to two Young Gentlemen at the_ Hounslow +Academy. + + Take notice, roguelings, I prohibit + Your walking underneath yon gibbet: + Have you not heard, my little ones, + Of _Raw Head and Bloody Bones?_ + How do you know, but that there fellow, + May step down quick, and you up swallow? + +EXTEMPORE. + +_To_ DELIA, _on seeing_ TWO CATS _playing together._ + + See, DELY, DELY, charming fair, + How Pusseys play upon that chair; + Then, DELY, change thy name to WRAY, + And thou and I will likewise play. + +_On a_ BLADE-BONE. + + Says I, one day, unto my wife, + I never saw in all my life + Such a blade-bone. Why so, my dear? + Says she. The matter's very clear, + Says I; for on it there's no meat, + For any body for to eat. + Indeed, my dear, says she, 'tis true, } + But wonder not, for, you know, you } + Can't eat your cake and have it too. } + +_An_ IDEA _on a_ PECK _of_ COALS. + + I buy my coals by pecks, that we + May have them fresh and fresh, d'ye see. + +_To my very learned and facetious friend_, S. ESTWICK, ESQ. +M.P. _and_ LL.D. _on his saying to me_, "What the D---l +noise was that?" + + Good Dr. ESTWICK, you do seek + To know what makes my shoe-soles creak? + They make a noise when they are dry; + And so do you, and so do I. + C. W. + + + + +LORD GRAHAM'S DIARY, + +DURING THE FIRST WEEK OF THE NEW PARLIAMENT. + +_May_ 20. Went down to the House--sworn in--odd faces--asked PEARSON +who the new people were--he seemed cross at my asking him, and did +not know--I took occasion to inspect the water-closets. + +N.B. To tell ROSE, that I found three cocks out of repair--didn't +know what to do--left my name at the DUKE OF QUEENSBERRY's--dined +at WHITE's--the pease tough--Lord APSLEY thought they ought to be +boiled in steam--VILLIERS very _warm_ in favour of _hot water_--PITT +for the new mode--and much talk of _taking the sense_ of the +_club_--but happily I prevented matters going to extremity. + +_May_ 21. Bought a tooth-pick-case, and attended at the +Treasury-Board--nothing at the House but swearing--rode to +WILBERFORCE's at WIMBLEDON--PITT, THURLOW, and DUNDAS, +_water-sucky_--we all wondered why perch have such large mouths, and +WILBERFORCE said they were like MULGRAVE's--red champagne rather +ropy--away at eight--THURLOW's horse started at a windmill--he off. + +N.B. To bring in an Act to encourage water-mills--THURLOW home in +a _dilly_--we after his horse--children crying, _Fox for +ever!_--DUNDAS stretching to whip them--he off too. + +_May_ 22. Sick all day--lay a bed--VILLIERS _bored_ me. + +23. Hyde-park--PITT--HAMILTON, &c. Most of us agreed it was right to +bow to Lord DELAVAL--PITT won't to any one, except the _new +Peers_--dined at PITT's--PITT's soup never salt enough--Why must +PRETTYMAN dine with us?--PITT says to-day he will _not_ support Sir +CECIL WRAY--THURLOW wanted to give the _old toast_--PITT +grave--probably this is the reason for letting PRETTYMAN stay. + +24. House--Westminster Election--we settled to always make a noise +when BURKE gets up--we ballotted among ourselves for a _sleeping +Committee_ in the Gallery----STEELE always to call us when PITT +speaks--Lord DELAVAL our _dear_ friend!--_Private_ message from ST. +JAMES's to PITT--He at last agrees to support SIR CECIL. + +_May_ 25. BANKES won't vote with us against GRENVILLE's Bill--English +obstinacy--the Duke of RICHMOND teazes us--nonsense about +consistency--what right has _he_ to talk of _it?_--but must not say +so.--DUNDAS thinks worse of the Westminster business than--but too +hearty to indulge absurd scruples. + +26. Court--King in high spirits, and attentive rather to the Duke of +GRAFTON--QUEEN more so to Lord CAMDEN--puzzles us all!--So it is +possible the Duke of RICHMOND will consent to leave the +_Cabinet_?--Dinner at DUNDAS's--too many things aukwardly served--Joke +about ROSE's thick legs, like ROBINSON's, in flannel. + + + + +EXTRACTS + +FROM THE SECOND VOLUME OF LORD MULGRAVE'S ESSAYS ON ELOQUENCE, LATELY +PUBLISHED. + +"We now come to speak of _Tropes_. Trope comes from the Greek word +_Trepo_, to turn. I believe that tropes can only exist in a vocal +language, for I do not recollect to have met with any among the +savages near the Pole, who converse only by signs; or if they used +any, I did not understand them. Aristotle is of opinion that horses +have not the use of tropes.--Dean Swift seems to be of a contrary +opinion; but be this as it may, tropes are of very great importance +in Parliament, and I cannot enough recommend them to my young readers. + +"_Tropes_ are of two kinds: 1st, such as tend to illustrate our +meaning; and 2dly, such as tend to render it obscure. The first are of +great use in the _sermo pedestris_; the second in the sublime. They +give the _os magna sonans_; or, as the same poet says in another +place, the _ore rotundo_; an expression, which shows, by the bye, that +it is as necessary to round your mouth, as to round your periods.--But +of this more hereafter, when I come to treat of _mouthing_, or, as the +Latins call it, _elocutio_. + +"In the course of my reflections on tropes, I have frequently lamented +the want of these embellishments in our modern _log-books_. Strabo +says they were frequently employed by the ancient sailors; nor can we +wonder at this difference, since our young seamen are such bad +scholars: not so in other countries; for I have seen children at the +island of _Zanti_, who knew more of Greek than any First Lieutenant. +Now to return to Tropes, and of their use in Parliament. I will give +you some examples of the most perfect kind in each species, and then +quit the subject; only observing, that the worst kind of tropes are +_puns_; and that tropes, when used in controversy, ought to be very +obscure; for many people do not know how to answer what they do not +understand. + +"Suppose I was desirous of pressing forward any measure, and that I +apprehended that the opposite party wished to delay it, I should +personify procrastination by one of the following manners: + +1. "_This measure appears to be filtered through the drip-stone of +procrastination._" This beautiful phrase was invented by a near +relation of mine, whose talents bid fair to make a most distinguished +figure in the senate. + +2. "_This is another dish cooked up by the procrastinating spirit._" +The boldness of this figure, which was invented by Mr. Drake, cannot +be too much admired. + +3. "_This appears to be the last hair in the tail of +procrastination._" + +"The _Master of the Rolls_, who first used this phrase, is a most +eloquent speaker; but I think the two former instances much more +beautiful, inasmuch as the latter personification is drawn from a +dumb creature, which is not so fine a source of metaphor as a +Christian. + +"Having thus exhausted the subject of metaphors, I shall say a few +words concerning _similes_, the second of tropical figures, in point +of importance." + + + + +ANECDOTES OF MR. PITT. + + +As nothing which relates to this great man can be indifferent to +the public, we are happy in laying before our readers the following +particulars, the truth of which may be depended on:-- + +MR. PITT rises about _Nine_, when the weather is clear; but if it +should rain, Dr. PRETTYMAN advises him to lay about an hour longer. +The first thing he _does_ is to eat _no_ breakfast, that he may have +a better appetite for his dinner. About _ten_ he generally blows his +nose and cuts his toe-nails; and while he takes the exercise of his +_bidet_, Dr. PRETTYMAN reads to him the different petitions and +memorials that have been presented to him. About _eleven_ his valet +brings in Mr. ATKINSON and a WARM SHIRT, and they talk over the _New +Scrip_, and other matters of finance. Mr. ATKINSON has said to _his_ +confidential friends round 'Change, that Mr. PITT always speaks to him +with great affability. At _twelve_ Mr. PITT retires to a water-closet, +adjoining to which is a small cabinet, from whence Mr. JENKINSON +confers with him on the secret instructions from BUCKINGHAM-HOUSE. +After this, Mr. PITT takes a long lesson of dancing; and Mr. GALLINI +says, that if he did not turn in his toes, and hold down his head, +he would be a very good dancer. At _two_ Mr. WILBERFORCE comes in, +and they both play with Mr. PITT's black dog, whom they are very +fond of, because he is like Lord MULGRAVE in the face, and barks out +of time to the organs that pass in the street. After this Mr. PITT +rides. We are credibly informed, that he often pats his horse; and, +indeed, he is remarkably fond of all _dumb creatures_ both in and out +of Parliament. At _four_ he sleeps.--Mr. PITT eats very heartily, +drinks one bottle of port, and two when he _speaks_; so that we may +hope that Great Britain will long be blessed with the superintendance +of this virtuous and able young Minister!!! + + + + +LETTER FROM A NEW MEMBER TO HIS FRIEND IN THE COUNTRY. + + +MY DEAR SIR, + +As you are so anxious and inquisitive to know the principal +circumstances that have occurred to my observation, since my +introduction to the House of Commons, I think it my duty to give +you what satisfaction I am able. As you know, my dear friend, +how little I dreamt of being called out of my humble sphere of life, +to the rank of a senator (and still less at a time when so many +considerable gentlemen of education, worth, and property had been +driven from their seats in Parliament), you will not wonder that it +required some time before I could rid myself of the awe and +embarrassment that I felt on first entering the walls of that +august assembly. Figure to yourself, my good Sir, how very aukward +and distressing it was to me to reflect, that I was now become +a member of the British Senate; picked and culled out, as our +inimitable Premier assured us, by the free, unbiassed voice of +the people, for our singular abilities and love of our country, +to represent the wisdom of the nation at the present critical +juncture. Would to God I possessed a pen that might enable me to +celebrate, in a style equal to his merits, the praises of this prodigy +of a Minister, whom I can never speak or think of without enthusiasm! +Oh! had you but heard his speech on the day of our meeting, when he +addressed himself to the young members in a strain of eloquence +that could not fail to make a lasting impression on our minds! +Not one of us, I assure you, who did not feel the warmest emotions +of respect and gratitude, and begin to entertain a confidence in his +own talents for business, and a consciousness of his zeal for +the public service, that would probably have never entered into +the head of a simple individual, if this excellent young man had +not condescended to point out to us those qualities in such strong +and flattering colours. + +Such extraordinary marks of condescension surprized me not a little, +from a person whom I had been used to hear so generally (but no doubt +most falsely) censured, for upstart pretension and overbearing +arrogance; and I could not sufficiently admire the candour he shewed, +in giving such perfect credit to the talents and virtues of so many +strangers, the greatest part of whose faces were even unknown to him. +Besides, the compliment appeared to me the more generous, as I had but +that very morning received a promise from Government to refund me +the heavy charges and trouble they had led me into at my late +election, which you very well know, notwithstanding the help of Mr. +ROBINSON, had very near ruined my affairs, and proved the destruction +of myself and family. + +As you desire to have my impartial sentiments respecting the eloquence +of Mr. PITT and Mr. FOX, I must fairly own, that I cannot hear, +without indignation, any comparison made between 'em;--and, +I assure you, Mr. PITT has a very decided preference in the opinion +of most of the new members, especially among us COUNTRY GENTLEMEN, +who, though we never heard any thing like public speaking before +in our lives, have too much sense and spirit to agree in this +particular with the generality of the public.--We could all see +Mr. PITT was an orator in a moment. The dignity of his deportment, +when he first rises from the Treasury Bench, with his head and +eyes erect, and arms extended, the regular poize of the same action +throughout the whole of his speech, the equal pitch of his voice, +which is full as sonorous and emphatic in expressions of the least +weight; above all, his words, which are his principal excellence, +and are really finer and longer than can be conceived, and clearly +prove him, in my judgment, to be far superior to every other orator. +Mr. FOX, it seems, in perfect despair of imitating the expression +and manner of his rival, never attempts to soar above a language +that is perfectly plain, obvious, and intelligible, to the meanest +understanding; whereas, I give you my word, I have more than once +met with several who have frankly owned to me, that Mr. PITT's +eloquence was often above their capacity to comprehend. In addition +to this, it is observable, that Mr. PITT has the happy art of +expressing himself, even upon the most trifling occasion, in +at least three times as many words as any other person uses in +an argument of the utmost importance, which is so evident an advantage +over all his adversaries, that I wonder they persist to engage in +so unequal a combat. + +I shall take an early opportunity of communicating to you some +further observations on this subject: in the mean time believe me, + + Dear Sir, + With the truest regard, + Your's, &c. &c. &c. +_Cocoa Tree, May_ 29, 1784. + + + + +THE +POLITICAL RECEIPT BOOK, +FOR THE YEAR 1784. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PREMIER. + +Take a man with a great quantity of that sort of words which produce +the greatest effect upon the _many_, and the least upon the _few_: +mix them with a large portion of affected candour and ingenuousness, +introduced in a haughty and contemptuous manner. Let there be a great +abundance of falsehood, concealed under an apparent disinterestedness +and integrity; and the two last to be the most professed when +the former is most practised. Let his engagements and declarations, +however solemnly made, be broken and disregarded, if he thinks he can +procure afterwards a popular indemnity for illegality and deceit. +He must subscribe to the doctrine of PASSIVE OBEDIENCE, and to +the exercise of patronage independent of his approbation; and be +careless of creating the most formidable enemies, if he can gratify +the personal revenge and hatred of those who employ him, even at +the expence of public ruin and general confusion. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF STATE. + +Take a man in a violent passion, or a man that never has been in one; +but the first is the best. Let him be concerned in making an +ignominious peace, the articles of which he could not comprehend, +and cannot explain. Let him speak loud, and yet never be heard; +and to be the kind of man for a SECRETARY OF STATE when nobody else +will accept it. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PRESIDENT OF THE COUNCIL. + +Take a man who all his life loved office, merely for its emolument; +and when measures which he had approved were eventually unfortunate, +let him be notorious for relinquishing his share of the responsibility +of them; and be stigmatized, for political courage in the period +of prosperity, and for cowardice when there exists but the appearance +of danger. + + +HOW TO MAKE A CHANCELLOR. + +Take a man of great abilities, with a heart as black as his +countenance. Let him possess a rough inflexibility, without +the least tincture of generosity or affection, and be as manly +as oaths and ill manners can make him. He should be a man who +will act politically with all parties, hating and deriding every +one of the individuals which compose them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A MASTER OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a man of a busy, meddling, turn of mind, with just as much parts +as will make him troublesome, but never respectable. Let him be +so perfectly callous to a sense of personal honour, and to the +distinction of public fame, as to be marked for the valour of +insulting where it cannot be revenged[1]; and, if a case should +arise, where he attempts to injure reputation, because it is dignified +and absent, he should possess _discretion_ enough to apologise and +to recant, if it is afterwards dictated to him to do so, +notwithstanding any previously-declared resolutions to the contrary. +Such a man will be found to be the most fit for servitude in times of +disgrace and degradation. + + +HOW TO MAKE A TREASURER OF THE NAVY. + +Take a man, composed of most of the ingredients necessary to enable +him to attack and defend the very same principles in politics, or +any party or parties concerned in them, at all times, and upon all +occasions. Mix with these ingredients a very large quantity of +the root of interest, so that the juice of it may be always sweet +and uppermost. Let him be one who avows a pride in being so necessary +an instrument for every political measure, as to be able to extort +those honours and emoluments from the weakness of a government, which +he had been deliberately refused, at a time when it would have been +honourable to have obtained them. + + +HOW TO MAKE A LORD OF THE TREASURY. + +Take the most stupid man you can find, but who can make his signature; +and from ignorance in _every thing_ will never contradict you in +_any thing_. He should not have a brother in the church, for if he +has, he will most probably abandon or betray you. Or, take a man of +fashion, with any sort of celebrity: if he has accustomed himself to +arguments, though the dullness can only be measured by the length of +them, he will serve to speak _against time_, with a certainty in that +case of never being answered. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY. + +Take a pleading _Country Attorney_, without passion, and without +parts. Let him be one who will seize the first opportunity of +renouncing his connection with the first man who draws him out of +obscurity and serves him. If he has no affections or friendships, so +much the better; he will be more ready to contribute to his own +advantage. He should be of a temper so pliable, and a perseverance so +ineffectual, as to lead his master into troubles, difficulties, and +ruin, when he thinks he is labouring to overcome them. Let him be a +man, who has cunning enough, at the same time, to prey upon and +deceive frankness and confidence; and who, when he can no longer avail +himself of both, will sacrifice even his character in the cause of +treachery, and prefer the interests resulting from it, to the virtuous +distinctions of honour and gratitude. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SECRETARY-AT-WAR. + +Take a man that will take any thing. Let him possess all the negative +virtues of being able to do no harm, but at the same time can do no +good; for they are qualifications of a courtly nature, and may in time +recommend him to a situation something worse, or something better. + + +HOW TO MAKE AN ATTORNEY-GENERAL. + +Take a little ugly man, with an _eye_ to his preferment. It is not +requisite that he should be much of a lawyer, provided that he be a +tolerable politician; but in order to qualify himself for an _English +Judge_, he should first be a _Welch_ one. He must have docility +sufficient to do any thing; and, if a period should arrive, when power +has popularity enough to make rules and laws for the evident purpose +of gratifying malignity, he should be one who should be ready to +advise or consent to the creation of new cases, and be able to defend +new remedies for them, though they militate against every principle +of reason, equity, and justice. + +N.B. The greatest part of this Receipt would make a MASTER OF THE +ROLLS. + + +HOW TO MAKE A WARDROBE-KEEPER, OR PRIVY-PURSE. + +Take the most supercilious fool in the nation, and let him be in +confidence in proportion to his ignorance. + + +HOW TO MAKE A SURVEYOR-GENERAL OF THE ORDNANCE. + +Take a Captain in the _Navy_, as being best acquainted with the +_Army_; he should have been a few years _at sea_, in order to qualify +him for the direction of works _on shore_; and let him be one who will +sacrifice his connections with as much ease as he would renounce +his profession. + + +HOW TO MAKE A PEER. + +Take a man, with or without parts, of an ancient or a new family, with +one or with two Boroughs at his command, previous to a dissolution. +Let him renounce all former professions and obligations, and engage +to bring in your friends, and to support you himself. Or, take +the Country Gentleman who the least expects it; and particularly +let the honour be conferred when he has done nothing to deserve it. + + +HOW TO MAKE SECRET INFLUENCE. + +Take a tall, ill-looking man, with more vanity, and less reason +for it, than any person in Europe. He should be one who does not +possess a single consolatory private virtue, under a general public +detestation. His pride and avarice should increase with his +prosperity, while they lead him to neglect and despise the natural +claims of indigence in his own family. If such a man can be found, he +will easily be made the instigator, as well as the instrument, of a +cabal, which has the courage to do mischief, and the cowardice of not +being responsible for it; convinced that he can never obtain any other +importance, than that to be derived from the execution of purposes +evidently pursued for the establishment of tyranny upon the wreck +of public ruin. + +[1] "What care I for the King's Birth-day!" + + + + +HINTS +FROM DR. PRETTYMAN, THE COMMIS, TO THE PREMIER'S PORTER. + + +To admit Mr. WILBERFORCE, although Mr. PITT should be even engaged +with the SOUTHWARK agents, fabricating means to defeat Sir RICHARD +HOTHAM.--WILBE must have _two_ bows.--ATKINSON to be shewn into the +anti-chamber--he will find amusement in reading LAZARRELLO DE TORMEZ, +or the _complete Rogue_.--If Lord APSLEY and Mr. PERCIVAL come from +the Admiralty, they may be ushered into the room where the large +_looking-glasses_ are fixed--in that case they will not regret +waiting--Don't let LORD MAHON be detained an instant at the door, the +pregnant young lady opposite having been sufficiently frightened +already!!!--JACK ROBINSON to be shewn into the study, as the private +papers were all removed this morning--Let Lord LONSDALE have _my +Lord_, and _your Lordship_, repeated to his ear as often as +possible--the apartment hung with _garter-blue_ is proper for his +reception!--The other new Peers to be greeted only plain _Sir!_ that +they may remember their late _ignobility_, and feel new gratitude to +the _benefactor of honours!_--You may, as if upon recollection, +address some of the last list, _My Lord!_--and ask their names--it +will be pleasing to them to sound out their own titles.--Lord ELIOT is +to be an exception, as he will tediously go through every degree of +his dignity in giving an answer.--All letters from BERKELEY-SQUARE +to be brought in without mentioning Lord SHELBURNE's name, or even +Mr. ROSE's.--The Treasury Messenger to carry the _red box_, as usual, +to CHARLES JENKINSON before it is sent to Buckingham-House.--Don't +blunder a second time, and question Lord MOUNTMORRES as to the life +of a _hackney chairman_ - it is wrong to judge by appearances!--Lord +GRAHAM may be admitted to the library - he can't read, and therefore +won't derange the books. + + + + +A TALE. + + + At BROOKES's once, it so fell out, + The box was push'd with glee about; + With mirth reciprocal inflam'd, + 'Twas said they rather play'd than gam'd; + A general impulse through them ran, + And seem'd t' actuate every man: + But as all human pleasures tend + At some sad moment to an end, + The hour at last approach'd, when lo! + 'Twas time tor every one to go. + Now for the first time it was seen, + A certain sum unown'd had been; + To no man's spot directly fixt, + But plac'd--ambiguously betwixt: + So doubtfully indeed it lay, + That none with confidence could say + This cash is mine--I'm certain on't-- + But most declined with--"Sir, I won't"-- + "I can't in conscience urge a right, + To what I am not certain quite." + --NORTHUMBRIA'S DUKE, who wish'd to put + An end to this polite dispute, + Whose generous nature yearn'd to see + The smallest seeds of enmity, + Arose and said--"this cash is mine-- } + For being ask'd to-day to dine, } + You see I'm furbelow'd and fine, } + With full-made sleeves and pendant lace; + Rely on't, this was just the case, + That when by chance my arm I mov'd, + The money from me then I shov'd; + This clearly shews how it was shifted," + Thus said, the rhino then he lifted;-- + "Hold, hold, my Lord," says thoughtless HARE, + Who never made his purse his care; + A man who thought that money's use + Was real comfort to produce, + And all the pleasures scorn'd to know + Which from its _snug_ enjoyments flow; + Such as still charm their gladden'd eyes, + Who feel the bliss of avarice. + "Hold, hold, my Lord, how is it known + This cash is certainly your own? + We each might urge as good a plea, + Or WYNDHAM, CRAUFURD, SMITH, or me; + But we, though less it were to blame, + Disdain'd so pitiful a claim; + Then here let me be arbitrator-- + I vote the money to the waiter," + Thus oft will generous folly think: + But prudence parts not so with chink. + On this occasion so it was, + For gravely thus my Lord Duke says: + "Consider, Sir, how large the sum, + To full eight guineas it will come: + Shall I, for your quaint verbal play, + Consign a whole estate away? + Unjust, ridiculous, absurd, + I will not do it, on my word; + Yet rather than let fools deride, + I give my _fiat_ to divide; + So 'twixt the waiter and myself, + Place equal portions of the pelf; + Thus eighty shillings give to RALPH, + To ALNWICK's DUKE the other half." + HARE and the rest (unthinking croud!) + At this decision laugh'd aloud: + "Sneer if you like," exclaim'd the Duke, + Then to himself his portion took; + And spite of all the witless rakes, + The Peer and Porter part the stakes. + + +MORALS. + + I. This maxim, then, ye spendthrifts know, + 'Tis money makes the mare to go. + + II. By no wise man be this forgot; + A penny sav'd's a penny got. + + III. This rule keep ever in your head; + A half-loaf's better than no bread. + + IV. Though some may rail, and others laugh, + In your own hand still keep the staff. + + V. Forget not, Sirs, since Fortune's fickle, + Many a little makes a mickle. + + VI. By gay men's counsels be not thwarted. + Fools and their money soon are parted. + + VII. Save, save, ye prudent--who can know + How soon the high may be quite low? + + VIII. Of Christian virtues hear the sum, + True charity begins at home. + + IX. Neglect not farthings, careless elves; + Shillings and pounds will guard themselves. + + X. Get cash with honour if you can, + But still to get it be your plan. + + + + +DIALOGUE +BETWEEN A CERTAIN PERSONAGE AND HIS MINISTER. + +IMITATED FROM THE NINTH ODE OF HORACE, BOOK III. + + _Donec gratus eram tibi._ + +K----- When heedless of your birth and name, + For pow'r yon barter'd future fame, + On that auspicious day, + Of K--gs I reign'd supremely blest: + Not HASTINGS rul'd the plunder'd East + With more despotic sway. + +P--TT. When only on my favoured head + Your smiles their royal influence shed, + Then was the son of CH--TH--M + The nation's pride, the public care, + P--TT and Prerogative their pray'r, + While we, Sir, both laugh'd at 'em. + + +K----- JENKY, I own, divides my heart, + Skill'd in each deep and secret art + To keep my C--MM--NS down: + His views, his principles are mine; + For these I'd willingly resign + My Kingdom and my Crown. + +P--TT. As much as for the public weal, + My anxious bosom burns with zeal + For pious Parson WYV--LL + For him I'll fret, and fume, and spout, + Go ev'ry length--except go out, + For that's to me the Devil! + +K----- What if, our sinking cause to save, + We both our jealous strife should wave, + And act our former farce on: + If I to JENKY were more stern, + Would you, then, generously turn + Your back upon the Parson? + +P--TT. Tho' to support his patriot plan + I'm pledg'd as _Minister_ and _Man_, + This storm I hope to weather; + And since your Royal will is so, + _Reforms_ and the _Reformers_ too, + May all be damn'd together! + + + + +Prettymaniana. + +EPIGRAMS ON THE REV. DR. PR--TT--MAN'S DUPLICITY. + + +I. + + That PRETTYMAN's so pale, so spare, + No cause for wonder now affords; + He lives, alas! on empty fare, + Who lives by _eating his own 'words!_ + +II. + + In BAYES's burlesque, though so strange it appear'd, + That PRINCE PRETTYMAN's self should PRINCE PRETTYMAN _kill_; + _Our_ Prettyman FURTHER to go has not fear'd, + But in DAMNING himself, he extended his skill! + +III. + + Undaunted PITT, against the State to plot, + Should int'rest spur, or passion urge ye; + Dread not the hapless exit of LA MOTTE, + Secure in _Benefit of Clergy!_ + +IV. + + That against my fair fame + You devise so much blame, + Cries the Priest, with a damn me, what care I? + Since the gravest Divine, + Tells a lie worse than mine, + When he cries, "_Nolo Episcopari!_" + +V. + + How wisely PITT, for different ends, + Can marshal his obedient friends! + When only _time_ he wants, not sense, + MULGRAVE vents _copious impotence_. + If demi-falsehood must be tried, + By ROSE the quibbling task's supply'd-- + But for the more accomplish'd lie, + Who with meek PR--TT--MAN shall vie? + +VI. +(PR--TT--MAN _loquitur_.) + + Although, indeed, 'tis truly said, + The various principles of _Trade_ + We are not very glib in; + Yet surely none will this deny, + Few know so well as PITT, or I, + To manufacture _fibbing_. + +VII. + + A horrible fib that a Priest should have told, + Seems to some people's thinking excessively odd, + Yet sure there's no maxim more certain or old, + Than "_The nearer the Church still the farther from God._" + +VIII. + + Why should such malice at the Parson fly? + For though he _spoke_, he scorn'd to write, a lye. + +IX. + + While the Wits and the Fools Parson PRETTY belabour, + With--"Thou shalt not false witness; set up 'gainst thy neighbour," + The text and the fact (cries the Priest) disagree. + For in Downing-street _I_, in Great George-street lives _He_. + +X. + + What shall reward bold PRETTY's well-tim'd sense, } + For turning new an IRISH _Evidence_? } + An IRISH _Bishoprick_'s the recompence! } + +XI. + + What varied fates the same offence assail! + PRETTY, install'd--and ATKINSON, in jail. + Both scorn alike the laws that truth maintains; + Yet one, a Prebend, one, a Prison gains. + This mounts a _stall_, the _pillory_ that ascends; + For public, one, and one for private ends. + The first gets ample scope _our_ ears to pain; + The other scarcely can _his own_ retain: + Just Heav'n, reverse the doom!--To punish each, + To ATKINSON alone, let PRETTY preach! + +XII. + + How happy, alas! had it been for poor PITT, + If WYVILL, like PRETTYMAN, never had writ! + +XIII. + + ------_Scelera ipsa nefasque + Hac mercede placent_-------- + + Cries PRETTYMAN, "Consider, Sir, + My sacred cloth, and character." + The indignant Minister replied, + "This ne'er had been, had ORDE ne'er lyed." + The patient Priest at last relented; + And _all his Master wish'd_, invented; + Then added, with a saint-like whine, + "But the next Mitre _must_ be mine!" + +XIV. + + For _tongue_ or for _eye_, + Who with PRETTY can vie? + Sure such organs must save him much trouble; + For of labour not loth, + Tis the way with them both, + Their functions to execute----_double!_ + +XV. + + The days of miracle, 'twas thought, were past; + (Strange from what cause so wild an error sprung) + But now convinc'd, the world allows at last, + PRETTY's still favour'd with a--_cloven tongue!_ + +XVI. + + _Faith in the Church_, all grave Divines contend, + Is the chief hold whence future hopes depend. + How hard then BRITAIN's lot!--for who hath _faith_ + To credit _half_ what Doctor PRETTY saith? + +XVII. + +(By SIR CECIL WRAY.) + + Oh! if I had thought that PRETTY could lye, + I'd a hired him, I would, for my Scrutiny! + My poor Scrutiny!--My _dear_ Scrutiny! + My heart it down sinks--I wish I could die! + +XVIII. + +(By SIR JOSEPH MAWBEY.) + + Lord BACON hang'd poor HOGG, + For murd'ring, without pity, man; + And so should PITT, by Gog, + That kill-truth, Doctor PRETTYMAN-- + For say I will, spite of hip wig, + He's far below the _learned Pig!_ + +XIX. + +(By THE SAME.) + + Says WRAY to me, which is most witty, + The learned Pig, or Parson PRETTY? + Says I, I thinks, the latter is more wiser; + PIGGY tells truth alone;--but PRETTY lyes, Sir. + +XX. + +(NOT by THE SAME.) + + Three Parsons for three different patrons writ, + For ROCKINGHAM, for PORTLAND, and for PITT + The first, in _speaking_ truth alone surpass'd; + The next could _write_ it too--not so the last.-- + The pride of Churchmen to be beat was loth-- + So PRETTYMAN's the opposite to both! + +XXI. + + How much must IRELAND, PITT and PRETTY prize! + Who swear, at all events, to _equal--lyes_. + +XXII. + + ------_In vino Veritas_------ + + PRETTY, the other night, was tripping caught-- + Forgive him, PITT; he'll not repeat the fault-- + The best may err--misled by wine and youth-- + His Rev'rence drank too hard; and told--_the truth!_ + Ev'n thou, should generous wine o'ercome thy sense, + May'st rashly stumble on the same offence. + +XXIII. + + There are who think all State affairs + The worst of wicked worldly cares, + To mingle with the priestly leaven; + Yet sure the argument's uncouth---- + PRETTY shall _doubly_ spread the truth, + A Minister of Earth and Heaven. + +XXIV. + + While modern Statesmen glean, from priestly tribes, + Rev'rend _Commis_, and sanctimonious scribes; + 'Tis love of _truth_--yet vain the hope, alas! + To make this _Holy Writ_ for _Gospel_ pass. + +XXV. + + Above the pride of worldly fame or show, + A virtuous Priest should upwards turn his eyes---- + Thus PRETT contemns all _character_ below, + And thinks of nothing but the way to _rise_. + +XXVI. + + 'Gainst PRETTY's unholiness vain 'tis to rail; + With a courtly Divine that's of little avail; + What Parson polite, would not virtue offend, + And maintain a _great_ falsehood, to save a _great_ friend? + +XXVII. + + If St. PETER was made, + Of Religion the head, + For boldly his master denying; + Sure, PRETTY may hope + At least to be Pope, + For his greater atchievements in lying. + +XXVIII. + + Says PRETTYMAN, "I'll fib, d'ye see, + If you'll reward me freely." + "Lye on (cries PITT) and claim of me + The Bishoprick of E--LYE." + +XXIX. + + 'Tis said the _end_ may sanctify the _means_, + And pious frauds denote a special grace; + Thus PRETTY's lye his master nobly screens-- + Himself, good man! but seeks a _better place_. + +XXX. + + "Sons of PATRICK! (cries ORDE) set up shop in your bog, + And you'll ruin the trade of JOHN BULL and NICK FROG." + "That's a lye (replies PITT) we shall gain by their riches; + If we wear IRISH _shirts_, they must wear ENGLISH _breeches_" + "You both lye (exclaims PRETTY) but I will lye too; + And, compar'd with my lye, what you say will seem true!" + +XXXI. + + For pert malignity observ'd alone, + In all things else unnotic'd, and unknown; + Obscurely odious, PRETTY pass'd his days, + Till more inventive talents won our lays. + "Now write, he cries, an Epigram's my pride: + Who wou'd have known me, if I ne'er had ly'd?" + + +XXXII. + + With pious whine, and hypocritic snivel, + Our fathers said, "_Tell truth_, and _shame the Devil!_" + A nobler way bold PR----TT----N is trying, + He seeks to _shame_ the Devil--by outlying, + + +XXXIII. +(In answer to a former.) + + No _cloven tongue_ the Doctor boasts from heav'n, + Such gifts but little wou'd the Doctor boot; + For preaching _Truth_ the _cloven tongues_ were giv'n, + His lyes demonstrate more the _cloven foot_. + + +XXXIV. + + Maxims, says PRETT, and adages of old, + Were circumscrib'd, though clever; + Thus Truth they taught, _not always_ should be told; + But I maintain, _not ever_. + + +XXXV. + + In the drama of CONGREVE, how charm'd do we read + Of _Spintext_ the _Parson_, and _Maskwell_ the _Cheat_, + But in life would you study them closer, indeed, + For equal originals--see _Downing-street_. + + +XXXVI. + + PITT and PRETTY came from College + To serve themselves, and serve the state; + And the world must all acknowledge + Half is done--so half may wait: + For PRETTY says, 'tis rather new, + When even _half_ they say--is _true_. + + +XXXVII. + The Devil's a dealer in lyes, and we see + That two of a trade never yet could agree; + Then DOCTOR proceed, and d--m------n despise, + What Devil would take such a rival in lyes. + + +XXXVIII. + +GRAND TREATY OF LYING. + + The Devil and PRETTY a treaty have made, + On a permanent footing to settle their trade; + 'Tis the Commerce of Lying,--and this is the law; + The Devil _imports_ him all lyes that are raw_;_ + Which, check'd by no _docket_, unclogg'd with a fee, + The _Priest_ manufactures, and vends _duty free_; + Except where the lye gives his conscience such trouble, + The _internal_ expence should have recompence double. + Thus to navigate falsehood no bar they'll devise; + But Hell must become the EMPORIUM of Lyes. + Nay, the Bishops themselves, when in pulpit they bark it, + Must supply their consumption, from Satan's _own market_, + While _reciprocal tribute_ is paid for the whole + In a surplusage _d--mn--g_ of P--TTY--'s soul. + + + + +FOREIGN EPIGRAMS. + + +I. +_By the_ Chevalier de BOUFFLERS. + + "PRETTIMAN est menteur, il s'est moque de nous" + "(Se crient en courroux tous les sots d'Angleterre)" + Calmez vous donc, Messieurs--eh! comment savez vous + Si c'est bien un mensonge, ou si c'est un mystere? + + +II. +_By_ Professor HEYNE, _of the_ UNIVERSITY _of_ GOTTINGEN. + + _In Dominum_ PITTUM _Doctoremque_ PRETTYMANNUM, + _Figulus_ loquitur--Scena, Vicus, vulgo dictus _Downing_. + Vivitur hic, cives, pacto quo denique? Rhetor + Ecce loqui refugit; scribere scriba negat. + + +III. +BY THE SAME. + + Falsiloquusne Puer magis, an fallacior ille + Scriba? Puer fallax, scribaque falsiloquus. + + +IV. +_By_ COMTE CASIMIR, _a descendant of the famous_ CASIMIR, _the great +Latin Poet of_ POLAND. + + BELLUS HOMO atque _pius_ vis idem dicier--At tu + Mendax, unde Pius? Bellus es unde, Strabo? + + +V. +_By_ FATHER MOONY, _Parish Priest of_ KILGOBBIN. + + A Mick na braaga Streepy poga ma Thone + Na vuishama da Ghob, Oghone! Oghone! + + +VI. +[1]_By_ EUGENIUS, _Archbishop of_ SLAVENSK _and_ KHERSON, +_in Russia, and Author of a Translation of_ VIRGIL'S GEORGICS _into_ +Greek Hexameters. + + {Pseudon ouch iereus aischynetai. Eithe s alethos, + O pseudon iereu, kai pseudierea legoimi.} + + Falsa-dicens Sacerdos non erubescit. Utinam te vere + O falsa-dicens Sacerdos, et falso-te-sacerdotem-dicentem appellarem. + + +VII. +BY THE SAME. + + {Pseudon outos alos ou paucetai. En de genomai + Teioud autod egon mot episkopos, ou men easo, + O pseudon d iereus kai pseudiereus tach an eie.} + + Falsa dicere ille omnino non desinet. Si vero fierem + Talis vlri ipse ego quandoque Episcopus, non equidem sinerem + Falsa-dicens autem sacerdos et qui-se-falso-sacerdotem diceret cito + foret. + + +VIII. +_By_ Mons. VILLOISON, _the celebrated Grecian and French Editor +of_ LONGINUS, &c. &c. + + Ad amicum quendam qui DOCTOREM PRETTIMANNUM _sacerdotem_ appellaret. + + {a. Pseudein ouch IERON. ti de ton pseudonth IEREA + Chre ste kaelin; b. IEREUS k ouch IEROS legetai.} + + a. Mentiri non _sacrum_. Quid vero mentientem _sacerdotem_ + Oportet te vocare? b. _Sacerdos_ & non _sacer_ dicitur. + + +IX. +MADRIGALE--_By_ SIGNOR CAPONINI _of_ ROME. + + In quel bel di, ch'il DIO del VERO nacque, + Per tutto il mondo tacque + Ogni Oracol mendace in ogni fano. + Cosi va detto, ma si e detto in vano. + Ecco, in quest' isola remota, anch'ora + L'Oracola s'adora + D'un giovinetto Febo, che a le genti + Per un suo sacerdote manda fnora + Quel, ch'ei risponde a lusingar lor menti; + In guisa, che puo far chiamar verace + L'Oracolo de' Grechi piu mendace. + + +X. +_By_ Dr. CORTICELLI _of_ BOLOGNA. + + Io non ho mai veduto un si bel PRETTIMANNO, + Con un si gran Perrucho, e d' occhi si _squintanno_. + + +XI. +_In the language of_ OTAHEITE.--_By M. de_ BOUGAINVILLE. +(_With an interlined Translation, according to Capt._ COOK's GLOSSARY.) + + [2]Prettyman _to call liar interjection + Peetimai_, tooo too, ooo, taata, Allaheueeai! + + _Insincere man to cuff liar nasty_ Prettyman + Hamaneeno, eparoo, taata, erepo, _Peetimai_. + + +XII. +_In the language of_ TERRA INCOCNITA (_viz_. AUSTRALIS), _by the noted +Mr._ BRUCE. + +[A translation is requested by the earliest discoverer, the original +being left at the publisher's for his inspection by the author, who +has most kindly communicated the following representation of the +genuine words, adapted to the ENGLISH type.--May we not presume to +suggest the infinite service Mr. M'PHERSON would render to his +country, were he generously to embark in the first outward-bound ship +for TERRA AUSTRALIS--No man in EUROPE being so well qualified for the +useful station of universal linguist and decypherer to the +savages--"_I decus, I nostrum._"] + + HOT. TOT. + HUM. SCUM. + KIKEN- ASS. + HOT. TOT. + ROW. ROW. + KIKEN. ASS. + QUIP. LUNK. + NUN. SKUMP. + KISSEN. ASS. + TARRAH. DUD. + LICEN. TOCK. + KIKEN. ASS. TOT. + +We must apologize to several of our more erudite correspondents, for +suspending some short time the publication of their most curious +epigrams on the Doctor. We have not the least objection to the extra +expence necessarily incurred on the present occasion, by the purchase +of a variety of antique types. Nay, we have actually contracted with +the celebrated CASLON, for the casting of a proper quantity of the +COPTIC and RUNIC characters, in order to the due representation of +the PRETTYMANIANA, communicated by Professor WHITE, and Mons. MAILLET. +As it might be some time, however, before Mr. CASLON, even with the +assistance of Mess. FRY and Son's foundery, can furnish us with the +PERSIC, SYRIAC, and CHACHTAW types, we cannot promise the Doctor +the insertion of the GENTOO REBUS, or the NEW ZEALAND ACROSTIC in the +present edition. + + +[1] We cannot withhold from the good Bishop our particular thanks for +his excellent Haxameters, which breathe indeed the spirit both of +piety and poetry. We have taken the liberty of subjoining a literal +translation, in Latin Prose, to the Epigrams of EUGENIUS, as well as +to the distich of Mons. VILLOISON, for the accommodation of the young +Students at our Universities. + +[2] PEETIMAI is wonderfully near the original PRETTYMAN, considering +that, after every effort, the inhabitants of OTAHEITE could not +approximate to the name of BANKS nearer than OPANO--nor of COOK, +than TOOTE. + + + + +ADVERTISEMENT EXTRAORDINARY. + + +Missing from the genealogies of the new Peers--three FATHERS--five +MOTHERS--nine GRANDFATHERS--fourteen GRANDMOTHERS--twenty +GREAT-GRANDFATHERS--and nearly twice the number of GREAT-GRANDMOTHERS--also +some COMPLETE GENERATIONS OF ANCESTORS. + +If any person can give notice at the HERALD's OFFICE of any Fathers, +Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, worth owning, of the names of C------, D------, +H------, L------, P------, E------, &c. &c. &c. so as that the said +Fathers, Mothers, Grandfathers, Grandmothers, Great-grandfathers, and +Great-grandmothers, may be taken and restored to the advertisers, the +person so informing, for every such notice, shall receive ONE GUINEA +reward, and no questions shall be asked. + +And if any person will undertake to find ANCESTORS BY THE GENERATION, +for every regular descent of not less than _three_, and not more than +_five_, he shall receive TWO GUINEAS each ancestor; and for every +regular descent of not less than _six_, and not more than _ten_, he +shall receive FIVE GUINEAS each ancestor, and so in proportion for +any greater number. + +A HANDSOME COMPLIMENT will also be given, in addition to the rewards +above proposed, for ANCESTORS who distinguished themselves under +JAMES II. CHARLES II. and CHARLES I. in the cause of PREROGATIVE. +Likewise an extraordinary price will be paid for the discovery of +any ANCESTOR of REMOTE ANTIQUITY and HIGH FAMILY; such as the immortal +DUKE ROLLO, companion of WILLIAM THE CONQUEROR, and founder of the +present illustrious family of ROLLE. + +N.B. No greater reward will be offered, as THE HERALDS have received +directions for making NEW. + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE FIRST. + +----But what says my good LORD BISHOP OF LONDON to this same +WESTMINSTER SCRUTINY--this daily combination of rites, _sacred_ and +_profane_--ceremonies _religious_ and _political_ under his hallowed +roof of ST. ANN'S CHURCH, SOHO? Should his Lordship be unacquainted +with this curious process, let him know it is briefly this:--At +_ten_ o'clock the HIGH BAILIFF opens his inquisition in the VESTRY, +for the PERDITION OF VOTES, where he never fails to be honoured +with a crowded audience.--At _eleven_ o'clock the HIGH PRIEST mounts +the rostrum in the CHURCH for the SALVATION OF SOULS, without a +single _body_ to attend him; even his corpulent worship, the clerk, +after the first introductory AMEN, filing off to the Vestry, to lend +a hand towards reaping a quicker harvest!--The alternate vociferations +from Church to Vestry, during the different SERVICES, were found to +cross each other sometimes in responses so apposite, that a gentleman +who writes shorthand was induced to take down part of the +Church-medley-dialogue of one day, which he here transcribes for general +information, on a subject of such singular importance, _viz_. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I cannot see that _this here fellow_ is a just vote. + +CURATE.--"_In thy sight shall no man living be justified._" + +Mr. FOX.--I despise the pitiful machinations of my opponents, knowing + the just cause of my electors must in the end prevail. + +CURATE.--"_And with thy favourable kindness shalt thou defend him as + with a shield._" + +WITNESS.--He swore d--n him if he did not give Fox a plumper! + +CLERK--"_Good Lord! deliver us._" + +Mr. MORGAN.--I stand here as Counsel for Sir CECIL WRAY. + +CURATE.--"_A general pestilence visited the land, serpents and_ FROGS + _defiled the holy temple._" + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--Mr. HIGH BAILIFF, the audacity of that fellow opposite + to me would almost justify my chastising him in this sacred place; + but I will content myself with rolling his heavy head in the + neighbouring kennel. + +CURATE.--"_Give peace in our time, O Lord!_" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I rise only to say thus much, that is, concerning + myself--though as for the matter of myself, I don't care, Mr. HIGH + BAILIFF, much about it-- + +Mr. FOX.--Hear! hear! hear! + +CURATE.--"_If thou shalt see the ass of him that hateth thee lying + under his burthen, thou shalt surely help him._" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I trust--I dare say--at least I hope I may venture + to think--that my Right Hon. friend--I should say enemy--fully + comprehends what I have to offer in my own defence. + +CURATE.--"_As for me I am a worm, and no man; a very scorn of men, + and the outcast of the people!--fearfulness and trembling are come + upon me, and an horrible dread overwhelmed me!!!_" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--As that _fellow there_ says he did not vote for Fox, + who did he poll for? + +CURATE.--"BARRABAS!--_now Barrabas was a robber._" + + + + +VIVE LE SCRUTINY. + + +CROSS GOSPEL THE SECOND. + +HIGH BAILIFF.--This here case is, as I may say, rather _more_ muddier +than I could wish. + +DEPUTY GROJAN.--_Ce n'est pas clair_--I _tink_, Sir, with you. + +CURATE.--"_Lighten our darkness, we beseech thee, O Lord!_" + +Mr. FOX.--Having thus recapitulated all the points of so contradictory +an evidence, I leave you, Mr. High Bailiff, to decide upon its merits. + +CURATE.--"_He leadeth Counsellors away spoiled, and maketh Judges +fools._" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--I don't care three brass pins points about that +there--though the poor _feller_ did live in a shed; yet as he says he +once boiled a sheep's head under his own roof, which I calls his +_casthillum_--_argyle_, I declares him a good _wote_! + +CLERK.--"_Oh Lord! incline our hearts to keep this law._" + +BAR-KEEPER.--Make way for the parish-officers, and the other _gemmen_ +of the _Westry_. + +CURATE.--"_I said my house should be called a house of prayer, but ye +have made it a den of thieves!_" + +Mr. ELCOCK.--_Mr. High Bailey!_ Sir, them there _Foxites_ people are +_sniggering_ and _tittering_ on the other side of the table; and +from what I can guess I am sure it can be at nobody but you or me. + +CURATE.--"_Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the +understanding of a man!_" + +Sir CECIL WRAY.--I am sure this same SCRUTINY proves sufficiently +burthensome to me. + +CURATE.--"_Saddle me an ass, and they saddled him._" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--Mr. HARGRAVE here, my counsel, says--it is my opinion +that this _wote_ is legally substantiated according to law. + +CURATE.--"_So_ MORDECAI _did, according to all that_ JEHOSAPHAT +_commanded him!_" + +Mr. PHILLIPS.--And now, friend MORGAN, having gone through my list +of thirty votes, and struck off twenty-six bad, from that number, +I will leave you to make your own comment thereon. + +CURATE.--"_And lo! when they arose in the morning, they were all dead +corpses!_" + +HIGH BAILIFF.--But for God's sake, good Sir, in that case, what will +the people justly say of _me?_ + +CURATE.--"_Let a gallows be erected fifty cubits high, and to-morrow +speak unto the King, that_ MORDECAI _may be hanged thereon!_" + + + + +PARAGRAPH-OFFICE, IVY-LANE. + + +Whereas by public orders from this office, all GENTLEMEN RUNNERS and +SCRIBBLERS, PUNNERS and QUIBBLERS, PUFFERS, PLAISTERERS, DAUBERS and +SPATTERERS, in our pay, and under our direction, were required, for +reasons therein specified, to be particularly diligent in defending +and enforcing the projected DUTY ON COALS. + +AND WHEREAS the virtuous and illustrious CHANCELLOR OR THE EXCHEQUER, +patriotically resolving to prefer the private interests of his friends +to the public distress of his enemies; and prudently preferring the +friendship of Lord LONSDALE to the satisfaction of ruining the +manufactures of IRELAND, has accordingly signified in the HOUSE OF +COMMONS, that he intends to propose some other tax as a substitute +for the said duty. + +THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE to all Gentlemen Runners, and Scribblers, as +aforesaid, that they hold themselves ready to furnish, agreeably to +our future orders, a sufficient number of panegyrical paragraphs, +properly ornamented with _Italics_ and CAPITALS, notes of +interrogation, and notes of admiration, apostrophe's and exclamations, +in support of any tax whatever, which the young Minister in his wisdom +may think proper to substitute. AND in the mean time that they fail +not to urge the public spirit and zeal for the national welfare, +humanity to the poor, and regard for the prosperity of our +manufacturers, which considerations ALONE induced the Minister to +abandon his original purpose of taxing coals: AND that they expatiate +on the wise exemptions and regulations which the Minister would +certainly have introduced into his bill for enacting the said tax, but +that (as he declared in the House of Commons) unfortunately for the +finances of this country, he had not time in the present Session of +Parliament to devise such exemptions and regulations: AND FINALLY, +that they boldly assert the said tax to have been GOOD, POLITIC, JUST, +and EQUITABLE; but that the new tax, which is to be substituted in +place of it, will necessarily be BETTER, MORE POLITIC, MORE JUST, and +MORE EQUITABLE. + + MAC-OSSIAN, + _Superintendent-general of the Press._ + + + + +PITT AND PINETTI. A PARALLEL. + + +SIGNOR PINETTI the Conjuror, and Mr. PITT the Premier, have a +wonderful similitude in the principal transactions and events by +which they are distinguished. + +PINETTI, in defiance of Mr. COLMAN, took possession of his property +in the HAYMARKET THEATRE, and by the help of a little agency behind +the scenes, played several tricks, and became popular! + +Mr. PITT in like manner seized upon another THEATRE-ROYAL, in the +absence of the rightful possessor, the Duke of PORTLAND. He had not, +it is true, the permission of a LORD CHAMBERLAIN as PINETTI had; but +the countenance of a LORD OF THE BEDCHAMBER was deemed equivalent. +Here he exhibited several surprising tricks and deceptions: we will +say nothing of the agency, but all present appeared delighted. PINETTI +also exhibited in the presence of Royalty, and with equal success, +as the sign manual he boasts of will testify. + +PINETTI cuts a lemon in two, and shews a KNAVE OF DIAMONDS--Mr. PITT +in like manner can divide the HOUSE OF COMMONS, which for its acidity +may be called the political lemon. He cannot at present shew a KNAVE +OF DIAMONDS; but what may he not do when Mr. HASTINGS arrives?[1] + +PINETTI takes a number of rings, he fastens them together, and +produces a CHAIN.--Does any person dispute Mr. PITT's ability to +construct a CHAIN? + +PINETTI has a SYMPATHETIC LIGHT, which he extinguishes at command--Mr. +PITT's method of leaving us in the dark is by BLOCKING UP our WINDOWS! + +PINETTI takes money out of one's pocket in defiance of all the +caution that can be used--Mr. PITT does the same, without returning +it.--In this the Minister differs from the Conjuror! + +PINETTI attempted to strip off an Englishman's shirt; if he had +succeeded, he would have retained his popularity.--Mr. PITT attempted +this trick, and has carried his point. + +PINETTI has a bird which sings exactly any tune put before it.--Mr. +PITT has upwards of TWO HUNDRED birds of this description.--N.B. +PEARSON says they are a pack of CHATTERING MAGPIES. + + +[1] The Editor feels it necessary to declare, in justice to Mr. +HASTINGS's character, that the charges since preferred by the HOUSE +OF COMMONS, and MAJOR SCOTT's _honour as a Gentleman_, have amply +disproved all parts of this comparison. + + + + +NEW ABSTRACT +OF THE +BUDGET, +FOR 1784. + + +COMMUTATION TAX.--An Act for rendering houses more chearful, healthy, +comfortable, and commodious. + +PAPER DITTO.--An Act for the encouragement of authors, the promotion +of learning, and extending the liberty of the press. + +POSTAGE DITTO.--An Act for expediting business, increasing social +intercourse, and facilitating the epistolary correspondence of +friends. + +DISTILLERY DITTO.--An Act for making the landlords responsible to +government for the obedience of their own and their neighbours +tenantry. + +CANDLE DITTO.--An Act for the benevolent purpose of putting the +blind on a level with their fellow-creatures. + +EXCISE GOODS DITTO.--An Act for lessening the burthen of the subject +by an increase of the collection. + +SOAP DITTO.--An Act for suppressing the effeminacy of Englishmen, +by disappointing them of clean linen. + +SMUGGLING DITTO.--An Act for demonstrating the arbitrary spirit +of this free government, in whatever clashes with the interests +of the Treasury. + +GAME DITTO.--An Act for making the many responsible, for a monopoly +of every thing nice and delicate, to the palates of the few. + +HORSE DITTO.--An Act for reducing the farmers to the wholesome +exercise of walking, while their servants enfeeble themselves +with riding. + + + + +THEATRICAL INTELLIGENCE EXTRAORDINARY. + + +At the last grand FETE given by Mr. JENKINSON to his friends in +Administration, it was proposed, that as WILBERFORCE had sprained +his leg at the last game at LEAPFROG, and PRATT had grown too fat +for their old favourite sport of HIDE-AND-SEEK, some new diversion +should be instituted.--Various _succedanea_ were suggested, such as +CHUCK-FARTHING, MARBLES, &c. but at last the general voice determined +in favour of the DRAMA.--After some little altercation as to what +particular dramatic production to select, the comic opera of TOM JONES +was performed, and the arrangement of characters was disposed of +as follows: + + DRAMATIS PERSONAE. + BLIFIL, - - MR PITT. + BLACK GEORGE, - MR. ROBINSON. + KING OF THE GYPSIES, - LORD THURLOW. + THWACKAM, - MR. JENKINSON. + SQUARE, - - DR. PRETTYMAN. + SQUIRE WESTERN, - MR. ROLLE. + PARTRIDGE, - - MR. MACPHERSON. + +The parts of ALLWORTHY, TOM JONES, and SOPHIA, were subjects of long +and difficult discussion; but at length Mr. DUNDAS put an end to the +altercation, by assuring the company that he was willing and able to +act ANY part, and would be glad, though at so short a notice, to +attempt that of ALLWORTHY. The same offer was handsomely made by +Lord DENBIGH for that of TOM JONES, and the character of SOPHIA was +at last allotted to VILLIERS. + + + + +THE +WESTMINSTER GUIDE. + + +PART I. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. ANSTY. + + Poet to town, my friend ANSTY, or if you refuse + A visit in person, yet spare us your muse: + Give her wing, ere too late for this city's election, + Where much waits her comment, and more her correction. + What novels to laugh at! what follies to chide! + Oh! how we all long for a WESTMINSTER Guide! + First, in judgment decisive, as OTTOMAN Califf, + Aloft on the hustings, behold the HIGH BAILIFF! + But we miss from the seat, where law rests on a word, + The old symbols of justice--the scales and the sword-- + As a symbol too martial the sword he discards, + So 'tis lodg'd where it suits--in the hands of the guards; + And doubting the poise of weak hands like his own, + He suspended the scales at the foot of the throne.---- + + Turn next to the candidates--at such a crisis-- + We've a right to observe on their virtues or vices. + Hood founds (and with justice to most apprehensions) + In years of fair services, manly pretensions; + But his party to change, and his friend to betray, + By some are held better pretensions in WRAY. + + For the third, if at Court we his character scan, + A daemon incarnate is poor CARLO KHAN; + Catch his name when afloat on convivial bumpers, + Or sent up to the skies by processions of plumpers; + He is Freedom's defender, the champion of Right, + The Man of the People, the nation's delight. + To party or passion we scorn to appeal, + Nor want we the help of intemperate zeal; + Let Time from Detraction have rescued his cause, + And our verse shall but echo a nation's applause. + + But hark! proclamation and silence intreated; + The inspectors arranged--the polling clerks seated-- + With Bibles in hand, to purge willing and loth, + With the Catholic Test, and the Bribery Oath. + In clamour and tumult mobs thicken around, + And for one voice to vote there are ten to confound: + St. GILES's with WAPPING unites Garretteers, + HOOD and WRAY and PREROGATIVE, PITT and three cheers! + 'Tis the day for the Court--the grand Treasury push! + And the pack of that kennel well trained to the _brush_, + Dash noisy and fearless through thick and through thin, + The huntsman unseen, but his friends whippers-in. + + Now follow fresh tribes, scarce a man worth a louse, + Till put into plight at NORTHUMBERLAND HOUSE; + Ten poll for one mansion, each proving he keeps it, + And one for each chimney--he'll prove that he sweeps it-- + With these mix the great, on rights equally fables, + Great Peers from poor lodgings, great Lawyers from stables; + Ev'n the Soldier, whose household's a centinel box. + Claims a questionless franchise 'gainst Freedom and FOX; + All dubbed and maintained upon influence regal + Of the new H----E of C------S constituents legal. + + What troops too of females 'mong'st CHARLES's opposers? + Old tabbies and gossips, scolds, gigglers, and sprosers! + And Lady LACKPENSION, and Dowager THRIFTY, + And many a maiden the wrong side of fifty; + And FUBZY, with flesh and with flabbiness laden + (And in all things indeed the reverse of a maiden), + And hags after hags join the barbarous din, + More hateful than serpents, more ugly than SIN. + + Thus [1] the Bacchanal tribes when they ORPHEUS assailed, + Drowned his notes with their yells ere their vengeance prevailed, + Well knowing the sound of his voice or his lyre, + Had charms to allay diabolical ire. + Our Bacchanals find a more difficult foe; + For what strains can inchant, though from ORPHEUS they flow, + Like the orator's spell o'er the patriot mind, + When pleading to reason the cause of mankind? + + Now for councils more secret that govern the plan-- + _A Calif is nothing without a_ DIVAN. + With invisible step let us steal on the quorum, + Where MAINWARING sits in the Chair of Decorum. + And WILMOT harangues to the brethren elect, + [2]On his master's commands--"Carry law to effect." + "The true reading, my friends, in the _jus bacculinum_, + When the FOXITES are drubbed, then imprison or fine 'em; + And let him who would construe th' effective still further, + Knock out a friend's brains to accuse them of murder. + I have ready some hundreds of resolute knaves, + With bludgeons well shaped into Constables' staves, + In WESTMINSTER strangers--true creatures of power, + Like the lions--ferociously nursed at the Tower[3]. + Do we want more support?--Mark! that band of red coats! } + Whose first service over, of giving their votes, } + Why not try for a second--the cutting of throats! } + From the SAVOY they march--their mercy all lie at, + When the Bench gives the call, and St. J------s's the _fiat_." + Thus the law of effect the wise justice expounds, + This is WILMOT's abridgment compris'd in twelve rounds; + The new MIDDLESEX CODE--which treats subjects like partridge, + While the Statutes at large are cut up into cartridge. + + Enough of these horrors--a milder design, + Though not a more lawful one, CORBET, is thine! + The polling to close, but decision adjourn, + And in scrutiny endless to sink the return. + Thy employers who ranged on the Treasury Bench, + For prerogative fight, or behind it intrench, + Shall boldly stand forth in support of the act, + Which they mean to restrain by law after the fact. + With quibble and puzzle that reason disgrace. + Or with impudent paradox put in its place, + They shall hold, _that an indigent party's defence, + When at war with the Treasury, lies in expence; + [4] That the part of the vexed is to cherish vexation, + And strain it through_ DRIPSTONES _of procrastination_-- + These positions you'll say are indeed hypothetic-- + At Court they'll be Gospel--the muse is prophetic. + +End of the First Part. + + +[1] Note.] _Thus the Bacchanal tribes, &c._ + + Cunctaque tela forent cantu mollita: sed ingens + Clamor, et inflata Berecynthia tibia cornu, + Tympanaque, Plaususque, et Bacchei ululatus + Obstrepuere sono Citherae. Tum denique Saxa + Non exauditi rubuerunt Sanguine Vatis. + OVID. + +[2] See the letter of the Lord Lieutenant of M------x, May 8th. + +[3] These strange Constables were avowedly brought from the Tower +Hamlets. + +[4] See the speech of a young orator in a late debate. + + +END OF THE FIRST PART + + + + +PART II. + + +ADDRESSED TO MR. HAYLEY. + + To thy candour now, HAYLEY, I offer the line, + Which after thy model I fain would refine. + Thy skill, in each trial of melody sweeter, + Can to elegant themes adapt frolicksome metre; + And at will, with a comic or tender controul, + Now speak to the humour, and now to the soul. + We'll turn from the objects of satire and spleen, + That late, uncontrasted; disfigured the scene; + To WRAY leave the rage the defeated attends, + And the conqueror hail in the arms of his friends; + Count with emulous zeal the selected and true, + Enroll in the list, and the triumph pursue. + These are friendships that bloomed in the morning of life, + Those were grafted on thorns midst political strife; + Alike they matured from the stem, or the flower, + Unblighted by int'rest, unshaken by power. + Bright band! to whose feelings in constancy tried, + Disfavour is glory, oppression is pride; + Attached to his fortunes, and fond of his fame, + Vicissitudes pass but to shew you the same. + + But whence this fidelity, new to the age? + Can parts, though sublime, such attachments engage? + No: the dazzle of parts may the passions allure, + 'Tis the heart of the friend makes affections endure. + The heart that intent on all worth but its own, + Assists every talent, and arrogates none; + The feeble protects, as it honours the brave, + Expands to the just, and hates only the knave. + + These are honours, my FOX, that are due to thy deeds; + But lo! yet a brighter alliance succeeds; + The alliance of beauty in lustre of youth, + That shines on thy cause with the radiance of truth. + The conviction they feel the fair zealots impart, + And the eloquent eye sends it home to the heart. + Each glance has the touch of Ithuriel's spear, + That no art can withstand, no delusion can bear, + And the effort of malice and lie of the day, + Detected and scorn'd, break like vapour away. + + Avaunt, ye profane! the fair pageantry moves: + An entry of VENUS, led on by the loves! + Behold how the urchins round DEVONSHIRE press! + For order, submissive, her eyes they address: + She assumes her command with a diffident smile, + And leads, thus attended, the pride of the Isle. + + Oh! now for the pencil of GUIDO! to trace, + Of KEPPEL the features, of WALDEGRAVES the grace; + Of FITZROY the bloom the May morning to vie, + Of SEFTON the air, of DUNCANNON the eye; + Of LOFTUS the smiles (though with preference proud, + She gives ten to her husband, for one to the croud), + Of PORTLAND the manner, that steals on the breast, + But is too much her own to be caught or express'd; + The charms that with sentiment BOUVERIE blends, + The fairest of forms and the truest of friends; + The look that in WARBURTON, humble and chaste, + Speaks candour and truth, and discretion and taste; + Or with equal expression in HORTON combined, + Vivacity's dimples with reason refined. + + REYNOLDS, haste to my aid, for a figure divine, + Where the pencil of GUIDO has yielded to thine; + Bear witness the canvas where SHERIDAN lives, + And with angels, the lovely competitor, strives---- + While Earth claims her beauty and Heaven her strain, + Be it mine to adore ev'ry link of the chain! + + But new claimants appear ere the lyre is unstrung, + Can PAYNE be passed by? Shall not MILNER be sung? + See DELME and HOWARD, a favourite pair, + For grace of both classes, the zealous and fair---- + A verse for MORANT, like her wit may it please, + Another for BRADDYLL of elegant ease, + For BAMFYLDE a simile worthy her frame---- + Quick, quick--I have yet half a hundred to name---- + Not PARNASSUS in concert could answer the call, + Nor multiplied muses do justice to all. + + Then follow the throng where with festal delight, + More pleasing than HEBE, CREWE opens the night. + Not the goblet nectareous of welcome and joy, + That DIDO prepared for the hero of TROY; + Not Fiction, describing the banquets above, + Where goddesses mix at the table of JOVE; + Could afford to the soul more ambrosial cheer + Than attends on the fairer associates here. + But CREWE, with a mortal's distinction content, + Bounds her claim to the rites of this happy event; + For the hero to twine civic garlands of fame, + With the laurel and rose interweaving his name, + And while Ioe Paeans his merits avow, + As the Queen of the feast, place the wreath on his brow. + + + + +INSCRIPTION + + +_For the_ DUKE OF RICHMOND'_s Bust to the Memory of the +late_ MARQUIS OF ROCKINGHAM. + + Hail, marble! happy in a double end! + Raised to departed principles and friend: + The friend once gone, no principles would stay: + For very grief, they wept themselves away! + Let no harsh censure such conjunction blame, + Since join'd in life, their fates should be the same. + Therefore from death they feel a common sting, + And HEAV'N receives the one, and one the K--G. + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + +_Reason for Mr._ FOX'_s avowed contempt of one_ PIGOT'_s Address to +him._ + + Who shall expect the country's friend, + The darling of the House, + Should for a moment condescend + To crack a [1]PRISON LOUSE. + +ANOTHER. + +_On one_ PIGOT'_s being called a_ LOUSE. + + PIGOT is a _Louse_, they say, + But if you kick him, you will _see_, + 'Tis by much the truest way, + To represent him as a FLEA. + +ANOTHER, + + For servile meanness to the great, + Let none hold PIGOT Cheap; + Who can resist his destined fate? + A LOUSE must always CREEP. + +ANOTHER. + + PIGOT is sure a most courageous man, + "A word and blow" for ever is his plan; + And thus his friends explain the curious matter, + He gives the first, and then receives the latter. + + +[1] The substantive in the marked part of this line has been long an +established SYNONYME for Mr. PIGOT, and the PREDICATE, we are assured, +is not at this time less just. + + + + +A NEW BALLAD, +ENTITLED AND CALLED +BILLY EDEN, +OR, THE +RENEGADO SCOUT. + + +_To the Tune of_ ALLY CROAKER. + + I. + There lived a man at BECKHAM, in KENT, Sir, + Who wanted a place to make him content, Sir; + Long had he sigh'd for BILLY PITT's protection, + When thus he gently courted his affection: + Will you give a place, my dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If I can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + II. + He pimp'd with GEORGE ROSE, he lied with the DOCTOR, + He flatter'd Mrs. HASTINGS 'till almost he had shock'd her; + He got the ARCHBISHOP to write in his favour, + And when BILLY gets a beard, he swears he'll be his shaver. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + III. + To all you young men, who are famous for changing, + From party to party continually ranging, + I tell you the place of all places to breed in, + For maggots of corruption's the heart of BILLY EDEN. + Then give him a place, oh! dearest BILLY PITT _O!_ + If he can't have a whole one, oh! give a little bit _O!_ + + + + +EPIGRAMS. + + +_On Sir_ ELIJAH IMPEY _refusing to resign his Gown as_ CHIEF JUSTICE +OF BENGAL. + + Of yore, ELIJAH, it is stated, + By angels when to Heav'n translated, + Before the saint aloft would ride, + His prophet's robe he cast aside; + Thinking the load might sorely gravel + His porters on so long a travel; + But our ELIJAH somewhat doubting, + To him SAINT PETER may prove flouting, + And wisely of his mantle thinking, + That its furr'd weight may aid his sinking, + Scornful defies his namesake's joke, + And swears by G--d he'll keep his cloak. + +ANOTHER. + +_By Mr_. WILBERFORCE. + +_On reading Mr._ ROSE'_s Pamphlet on the_ IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + + Uncramp'd yourself by grammar's rules, + You hate the jargon of the schools, + And think it most extremely silly; + But reading your unfetter'd prose, + I wish the too-licentious ROSE + Was temper'd by the chaster LILLY[1]. + +[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, +and still more for the happy classical quotations he has furnished +to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial +speakers. + + + + +PROCLAMATION. + + +TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME. + +Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and +respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice +of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good +order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years +been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted +principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the +best and only judge of what suits the constitution, pleases the +appetite, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY +ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY +COUNCIL, that all his Majesty's liege subjects, of all ranks, +descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the +date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of a +_premunire_, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quantity of +the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural +day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the +list or schedule herein after following, _viz_. + +I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his +Majesty's kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.--If GREEN be +too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.--The method of +making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the +noble personages themselves. + +II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.--This will be no +inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had. + +III. DUCHESSES, DUCHESS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one +pound per ditto.--As this regulation is not intended to hurt his +Majesty's Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual. + +IV. MAIDS OF HONOUR, CHAPLAINS, the MEMBERS of the CLUB AT WHITE's, +and other young gentlemen of that RANK and DESCRIPTION (being pretty +nearly the usual quantity), two pound per ditto. + +V. To COUNTRY 'SQUIRES, FOX-HUNTERS, &c. as a most agreeable +substitute for STINGO and OCTOBER, three pound per ditto. + +VI. To DRAYMEN, CHAIRMEN, and BARGEMEN, instead of PORTER, two pound +per ditto. + +VII. To the Commonalty of this Realm, to drink with their victuals +and otherwise, at one pound for each person per ditto. + +And IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that no excuse or plea whatever shall be +deemed valid, for the non-compliance with the above regulations; AND +that whoever shall pretend, that the said wholesome and benign +decoction, either does not agree with him, or is more expensive than +his finances or state of life will permit, shall be only considered +as aggravating the offence of disobedience, by a contumacious doubt +of the better knowledge of his superiors, and a ridiculous endeavour +to seem to be better acquainted with his own constitution and +circumstances, than the efficient Minister of the country. + + GIVEN _at our Palace in_ DOWNING-STREET, + _this 24th Day of June, 1784._ + + + + +ORIGINAL LETTER. + + +Many doubts having arisen, principally among the gentlemen who belong +to the same profession with the Master of the Rolls, whether that +distinguished character has _really_ sent a draft to the HIGH BAILIFF +of WESTMINSTER, for the expences of a late trial and verdict in the +Common Pleas; and although the fact is not exactly as it has been +represented, yet the following authentic letter will sufficiently +evince the generous intentions of Sir LL----D, as soon as he becomes +rich enough for him to answer so heavy a demand. At present, all who +know the very circumscribed state of his income, compared with the +liberality of his expenditure--who consider the extent of those +different establishments, which he feels it necessary to keep up +by way of preserving the dignity of his high office--his wardrobe +and table for instance--will acknowledge the plea of poverty to be +justly urged. + + +_To_ THOMAS CORBETT, _Esq. +Chancery-Lane._ + +_My dear and faithful friend, Tho. Corbett,_ + +"I anticipate your application to me, for the expences of defending +yourself against the action brought by that fellow, FOX. If eternally +damning the jury would pay the verdict, I would not scruple to assist +you to the utmost of my abilities.--Though THURLOW is against us upon +this point, and to swear with him, you know, would be just as vain a +thing as to swear with the Devil; but, my friend, the long and the +short of this matter is, that I am _wretched poor_--wretchedly so, I +do assure you, in every sense and signification of the word. I have +long borne the profitless incumbrance of nominal and ideal wealth. My +income has been cruelly estimated at seven, or, as some will have it, +eight thousand pounds per annum. The profession of which I am a +Member, my dear THOMAS, has taught me to value facts infinitely more +than either words or reasons. I shall save myself, therefore, the +mortification of denying that I am rich, and refer you to the constant +habits, and whole tenor of my life. The proof to my friends is +easy--Of the economy which I am obliged to observe in one very necessary +article, my taylor's bill for these last fifteen years, is a record +of the most indisputable authority. There are malicious souls, who +may object to this, as by no means the best evidence of the state of +my wardrobe; they will direct you, perhaps, to Lord STORMONT's +Valet de Chambre, and accompany the hint with an anecdote, that +on the day when I kissed hands for my appointment to the office of +Attorney-General, I appeared in a laced waistcoat that once belonged +to his master. The topic is invidious, and I disdain to enter into +it.--I _bought_ the waistcoat, but despise the insinuation--nor is this +the only instance in which I am obliged to diminish my wants, and +apportion them to my very limited means. Lady K. will be my witness, +that until my last appointment, I was an utter stranger to the luxury +of a pocket handkerchief. + +"If you wish to know how I live, come and satisfy yourself--I shall +dine at home this day three months, and if you are not engaged, and +breakfast late, shall be heartily glad of your company; but in truth, +my butler's place is become an absolute sinecure--early habits of +sobriety, and self-denial, my friend, have made me what I am--have +deceived the approach of age, and enabled me to support the laborious +duties, and hard vicissitudes of my station. + +"Besides, my dear BAILIFF, there are many persons to whom your +application would be made with infinitely more propriety than to me. +The nature of PEPPER ARDEN is mild, gentle, accommodating to the +extreme, and I will venture to engage that he would by no means +refuse a reasonable contribution. MACDONALD is, among those who +know him, a very proverb for generosity; and will certainly stand +by you, together with DUNDAS and the LORD ADVOCATE, if there be +fidelity in Scotchmen. BEARCROFT too will open his purse to you with +the same blind and improvident magnanimity with which he risqued his +opinion in your favour: besides, you are sure of PITT.--A real zeal +for your welfare, a most disinterested friendship, and some +consciousness that I have materially helped to involve you; and, +believe me, not the sordid motive of shifting either the blame, +or the expence upon the shoulders of others, have made me thus +eagerly endeavour to put you in the way of consulting your best +friends in this very critical emergency. + +"As to myself, you are possessed already of the circumstances which +render any immediate assistance on my part wholly out of the question. +Except half a dozen pair of black plush breeches, which I have but +this instant received, I can offer you nothing. My superfluities +extend no further. But better times may soon arrive, and I will not +fail you then. The present Chief Justice of the King's Bench cannot +long retain his situation; and as you are one whom I have selected +from among many to be the friend of my bosom, I will now reveal to +you a great secret in the last arrangement of judicial offices. +Know then, that Sir ELIJAH IMPEY is the man fixed upon to preside +in the chief seat of criminal and civil jurisprudence of this country. +I am to succeed him in BENGAL; and then, my dear THOMAS, we may set +the malice of juries at defiance. If they had given FOX as many +diamonds by their verdict as they have pounds, rest assured that +I am not a person likely to fail you, after I shall have been there +a little while, either through want of faith, or want of means. +Set your mind, therefore, at ease; as to the money--why, if PITT is +determined to have nothing to do with it, and if nobody else will +pay it, I think the most adviseable thing, in your circumstances, +will be to pay it yourself. Not that you are to be ultimately at the +expence of a single shilling. The contents of this letter will fully +prove that I mean to reimburse you what I am able. For the present, +nobody knows better than yourself, not even Lady K----, how ill +matters stand with me, and that I find it utterly impossible to obey +the dictates of my feelings. + + "I am, my dear HIGH BAILIFF, + Your very affectionate friend, + And humble servant, + L.K." + "_Lincoln's-inn-fields_, + _June 20, 1786._" + + + + +A CONGRATULATORY ODE, + + +ADDRESSED TO THE +RIGHT HON. CHARLES JENKINSON, +on his being created LORD HAWKESBURY. + + Quem vimm aut heroa lyra vel acri + Tibia sumes celebrare, Clio? + Quem Deum? Cujus recinet jocosa + Nomen imago? HOR. + + JENKY, for you I'll wake the lyre, + Tho' not with Laureat WARTONS fire, + Your hard-won meed to grace: + Gay was your air, your visage blythe, + Unless when FOX has made you writhe, + With tortur'd MARSYAS' face. + + No more you'll dread such pointed sneer, + But safely skulk amidst your Peers, + And slavish doctrines spread; + As some ill-omen'd baneful yew + That sheds around a poisonous dew, + And shakes its rueful head. + + Your frozen heart ne'er learn'd to glow + At other's good, nor melt at woe; + Your very roof is chilling: + There Bounty never spreads her ray; + You e'en shut out the light of day[1], + To save a paltry shilling, + + A Prince, by servile knaves addrest, + Ne'er takes a DEMPSTER to his breast, + JACK ROB'SON serves his ends; + Unrivall'd stood the treach'rous name, + Till envious EDEN urg'd his claim, + While both betray their friends. + + On whom devolves your back-stairs cloak, + When, prophet-like, "you mount as smoke[2]?" + Must little POWNEY catch it? + But as 'tis rather worse for wear, + Let mighty BUCKS take special care + To brush it well and patch it. + + While o'er his loyal breast so true, + Great G---- expands the riband blue, + There--Honour's star will shine: + As RAWDON was bold RICHMOND's Squire, + To install a Knight so full of fire + --Let ASTON, BUCKS, be thine. + + JENKY, pursue Ambition's task, + The King will give whate'er you ask, + Nor heed the frowns of PITT; + Tho' proud, he'll truckle to disgrace, + By feudal meanness keep his place[3], + And turn the royal spit. + + With saintly HILL divide your glory[4], + No true King's friend, on such a Tory + The peerage door will shut; + Canting, he'll serve both Church and Throne, + And make the Reverend Bench your own, + By piety and smut. + + BANKS at his side, demure and sly, + Will aptly tell a specious lye, + Then speed the royal summons: + He's no raw novice in the trade, + His honour's now a batter'd jade-- + PITT flung it to the Commons. + + While THURLOW damns these cold delays, + Mysterious diamonds vainly blaze, + The impending vote to check; + K.B. and Peer, let HASTINGS shine, + IMPEY, with pride, will closely twine + The collar round his neck. + + Ennobling thus the mean and base, + Our gracious S--------'s art we trace, + Assail'd by factions bold; + So prest, great FREDERICK rose in fame, + On _pots de chambre_ stamp'd his name[5], + And pewter pass'd for gold. + + Should restive SYDNEY keep the seal, + JENKY, still shew _official_ zeal, + Your friend, your master, charm; + Revive an ANGLO-SAXON place[6], + Let GEORGE's feet your bosom grace, + Your love will keep them warm. + +[1] Mr. JENKINSON exhibited a laudable example of political oeconomy, +by shutting up several of his windows at his seat near Croydon, on the +passing of the Commutation Act. His Majesty's _bon mot_ on this +occasion should not be forgot. "What! what! (said the Royal Jester) do +my subjects complain of?--JENKY tells me he does not pay as much to the +Window Tax as he did before. Why then don't my people do like JENKY?" + +[2] A beautiful oriental allusion, borrowed from Mr. HASTINGS's Ode, + "And care, _like smoke_, in turbid wreathes, + Round the gay ceiling flies." + +[3] FINCHFIELD.--Co. ESSEX.----JOHN CAMPES held this manor of King +EDWARD III. by the service of _turning the spit_ at his coronation. + _Camden's Britannia--article Essex._ + +[4] The King magnanimously refused to create either Sir RICHARD HILL, +or Mr. BANKS, Peers, that the singular honour bestowed _solely_ by his +Majesty might be more conspicuous, and that Mr. PITT's humiliation +might no longer be problematic. Sir RICHARD had composed a beautiful +sacred cantata on the occasion, dedicated to his brother, the Rev. +ROWLAND HILL. The first stanza alludes, by an apt quotation from the +68th Psalm, to the elevation and dignities of the family: + "Why hop so high, ye little H_I_LLS?" + With joy, the Lord's anointed f_i_lls; + Let's pray with one accord! + In sleepless visions of the night, + NORTH's cheek I smote with all my might, + For which I'm made a Lord, &c. &c. + +[5] The King of PRUSSIA replenished his exhausted treasury in the war +of 1756, by a coinage of pewter ducats. + +[6] "Besides the twenty-four officer above described, there were +eleven others of considerable value in the courts of the ancient +Princes, the most remarkable of which was, that of the King's +feet-bearer; this was a young gentleman, whose duty it was to sit +on the floor, with his back towards the fire, and hold the King's +feet in his bosom all the time he sat at table, to keep them warm +and comfortable." + _Leges Wallicae, p.58.--Henry's History of Great Britain, v.2,p.275_ + + + + +ODE +_to_ SIR ELIJAH IMPEY. + + + AEli, vetusto nobilis a Lamo, + Quando et priores hinc Lamia ferunt + Denominatos, &c. + + ELI-JAH noblest of the race + Of [1]IMPS, from whom the IMPEYS trace, + If common fame says true, + Their origin; and that they found + Their claim on just and solid ground, + Refer for _proof_ to you-- + + You, who could post nine hundred miles, + To fathom an old woman's wiles, + Possess'd of _dangerous_ treasure; + Could hurry with a pedlar's pack + Of affidavits at your back, + In quest of health and pleasure. + + And all because the jealous JOVE[2] + Of Eastern climes thought fit to prove + The _venom_ of his reign; + On which, to minds of light esteem, + _Some few severities_ might seem + To leave a transient stain. + + Soon [3] on your head from yon dark sky, + Or WOODFALL'_s Hasty Sketches_ lye, + The gather'd storm will break! + Deep will the vengeful thunder be, + And from the sleep he owes to thee, + Shall NUNDCOMAR awake! + + Then arm against the rude attack, + Recall thy roving memory back, + And all thy proofs collect!-- + Remember that you cannot gain + A second hearing to _explain_, + And [4] _therefore_ be correct. + + +[1] MILTON makes honourable mention of the founder of the family: + "Fit vessel, fittest _Imp_ of Fraud." + _Paradise Lost, b._ IX. + +It may be observed, in proof of the descent, as well as to the credit +of the present Representative, that he has not degenerated from the +characteristic "obliquity" of his Ancestor. + +[2] Late Tyrannus. + +[3] Demissa tempestas ab Euro + Sternet--Nisi fallit Augur + Anosa Cornix. + +[4] See Declaration of Sir E---- I----, offered to the House by +Mt. DEMPSTER. + + + + +SONG. + + +_To the Tune of_ "LET THE SULTAN SALADIN," _in_ RICHARD COEUR DE LION. + + I. + Let great GEORGE his porkers bilk, + And give his maids the sour skim-milk; + With her stores let CERES crown him, + 'Till the gracious sweat run down him, + Making butter night and day: + Well! well! + Every King must have his way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + II. + BILLY PITT delights to prose, + 'Till admiring Grocers dose; + Ancient Virgins all adore him, + Not a woman falls before him; + Never kissing night nor day: + Well! well! + Every child must have its way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + III. + You too, HASTINGS, know your trade! + No vile fears your heart invade, + When you rove for EASTERN plunder, + Making Monarchs truckle under, + Slitting windpipes night and day: + Well! well! + Governors will have their way; + But to my poor way of thinking, + True joy is drinking. + + + + +A NEW SONG, +ENTITLED +MASTER BILLY'S BUDGET; +OR, +A TOUCH ON THE TIMES. + + +_To the Turn of_ "A COBLER THERE WAS," &c. + + Ye boobies of Britain, who lately thought fit + The care of the state to a child to commit, + Pray how do you like your young Minister's budget? + Should he take your last farthing, you never can grudge it. + Deny down, &c + + A tax on your heads! there'd be justice in that; + But he only proposes a tax on your hat; + So let every ENGLISHMAN throw up his beaver, + And hollo. Prerogative BILLY for ever! + Deny down, &c + + Not being much favour'd with female applauses, + He takes his revenge on their ribands and gauzes; + Then should not each female, Wife, Widow, or Miss, + To Coventry send master BILLY for this? + Deny down, &c + + How oft has he told us his views were upright! + That his actions would all bear the test of the light! + Yet he sure in the dark must have something to do, + Who shuts out both day-light and candle-light too. + Deny down, &c + + JOHN BULL's house is tax'd, so he plays him a trick, + By cunningly laying a duty on brick; + Thus JOHN for his dwelling is fore'd to pay twice, + But BILLY hopes JOHN will not smoke the device. + Deny down, &c + + What little we may have by industry made, + We must pay for a licence to set up a trade; + So that ev'ry poor devil must now be tax'd more + For dealing in goods that paid taxes before. + Deny down, &c + + The Callico-printers may beg if they please; + As dry as a sponge he their cotton will squeeze; + With their tears let them print their own linens, cries he, + But they never shall make an impression on me, + Deny down, &c + + The crazy old hackney-coach, almost broke down, + Must now pay ten shillings instead of a crown; + And to break him down quite, if the first will not do't, + Ten shillings a-piece on his horses to boot. + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon horses may not be severe, + But his scheme for collecting it seems very queer; + Did a school-boy e'er dream of a project so idle? + A tax on a horse by a stamp on a bridle! + Deny down, &c + + The tax upon sportsmen I hold to be right; + And only lament that the tax is so light; + But, alas! it is light for this palpable cause, + That sportsmen themselves are the makers of laws! + Deny down, &c + + He fain would have meddled with coals, but I wot + For his fingers the Gentleman found them too hot; + The rich did not like it, and so to be sure, + In its place he must find out a tax on the poor. + Deny down, &c + + Then last, that our murmurs may teaze him the less, + By a tax upon paper he'd silence the press; + So our sorrow by singing can ne'er be relax'd, + Since a song upon taxes itself must be tax'd. + Deny down, &c + + But now it is time I should finish my song, + And I wish from my soul that it was not so long, + Since at length it evinces in trusting to PITT, + Good neighbours, we all have been cursedly bit. + Deny down, &c + + + + +EPIGRAM. + + + While BURKE, in strains pathetic, paints + The sufferings dire of GENTOO saints, + From HOLY CITY[1] driven; + Cries HASTINGS, I admit their worth, + I thought them far too good for earth, + So pack'd them off to Heaven. + + +ANOTHER. + +MAJOR SCOTT'_s Defence of the_ ROHILLA MASSACRE. + + So poor ROHILLAS overthrown, + That HASTINGS has no mercy shown + In vain, cries SCOTT, to prove you strive; + By G--d he never murder'd one, + For half are still alive. + +[1] BENARES, the MECCA of HINDOSTAN. + + + + +MINISTERIAL UNDOUBTED FACTS. + + + "_And whoever believeth not all this shall be damned._" + ST. ATHANASIUS. + +The Members of Opposition are all equally poor--YET _the poor ones +are wholly maintained by the rich_. + +Notwithstanding the above is their only support--YET _their only means +of living arises at the gaming table_. + +Though these poor dogs win so much money at BROOKES's--YET _the +Members of_ BROOKES's _are all equally indigent_. + +OPPOSITION cannot raise a shilling--YET _they maintain an army of +scribblers, merely to injure an immaculate Minister, whom it is not +in their power to hurt_. + +They are too contemptible and infamous to obtain a moment's attention +from any gentleman or man of sense, and the people at large hold them +in general detestation--YET _the gentlemen and men of sense, who +conduct the Ministerial papers, are daily employed to attack these +infamous wretches, and in endeavouring to convince people who are +already all of one mind_. + +Their characters are so notorious that no person can be found to give +them credit for a shilling--YET _they are constantly running in debt +with their tradesmen_. + +They are obliged to sponge for a dinner, or else must go without--YET +_they indulge themselves in every species of debauchery and +dissipation_. + +Their prose is as devoid of argument as their verse is of wit--YET +_whole troops of ministerial writers are daily employed in answering +the one and criticising the other_. + +Their speeches are laughed at and despised by the whole nation--YET +_these laughable and despicable speeches were so artfully framed, as +alone to raise a clamour that destroyed the wisest of all possible +plans_, THE IRISH PROPOSITIONS. + +They have traiterously raised a flame in IRELAND--YET _the_ IRISH _are +too enlightened to attend to the barkings of a degraded faction_. + +Their ROLLIADS and ODES are stark nonsense--YET _the sale has been so +extensive as to have new clothed the whole_ BLUE AND BUFF GANG. + +They are possessed of palaces purchased out of the public plunder--YET +_they have not a hole to hide their heads in_. + +The infernal arts of this accursed faction, and not his measures, +have rendered Mr. PITT unpopular--YET _is Mr_. PITT _much more popular +than ever_. + +In short, OPPOSITION are the most unpopular, _popular_; poor, _rich_; +artless, _artful_; incapable, _capable_; senseless, _sensible_; +neglectful, _industrious_; witless, _witty_; starving, _pampered_; +lazy, _indefatigable_; extravagant, _penurious_; bold, _timid_; +hypocritical, _unguarded_; set of designing, _blundering_; low-minded, +_high-minded_; dishonest, _honest_; knaves, as were ever honoured with +the notice of the MINISTERIAL NEWSPAPERS. + + + + +JOURNAL +OF THE +RIGHT HON. HENRY DUNDAS. + + +_October, 1787._ + +Told the Chairman the Company had long been in want of four regiments +of King's forces--said it was the first he had heard of it--told him +he must require them as absolutely necessary for the safety of +India--the man appeared staggered; reminded me of my usual caution; +grumbled out something about recruits being cheaper; muttered that I +expected too much from him, and talked of preserving appearances.--Called +him a fool, and ordered him to do as he was bid. + +_October, November, December, January_.--Employed in disputes with +those damned fellows the Directors--would not have my regiments--told +them they must--swore they would not--believe the Chairman manages +very badly--threatened to provide transports, to carry out the troops +at the Company's expence--found afterwards I had no right--ordered +PITT to bring in a Declaratory Bill! + +_February_ 25th.----Bill brought in--badly drawn--turn away RUSSEL, +and get another Attorney-General--could not make MULGRAVE speak--don't +see what use he's of. + +_March_ 3d.--Bill read a second time--Sheridan very troublesome--much +talk about the constitution--wish Pitt would not let people wander +so from the question. + +_March_ 5th.--Bill in a Committee--Members begin to smell +mischief--don't like it--PITT took fright and shammed sick--was obliged +to speak myself--resolved to do it once for all--spoke four hours--so +have done my duty, and let PITT now get out of the scrape as well as he +can. + +_March_ 7th.--PITT moved to recommit the bill--talked about checks and +the constitution--believe he's mad. Got into a damned scrape about +cotton--second time I've been detected--won't speak any more.--N.B. +Not to let BARING come into the Direction again.--FOX spoke--PITT +could not answer him, and told the House he was too hoarse--forgot at +the time to disguise his voice. + +_March_ 9th.--Got THURLOW to dine with us at _Wimbledon_--gave him my +best Burgundy and Blasphemy, to put him into good humour.--After a +brace of bottles, ventured to drop a hint of business--THURLOW damned +me, and asked PITT for a sentiment--PITT looked foolish--GRENVILLE +wise--MULGRAVE stared--SYDNEY's chin lengthened--tried the effects of +another bottle.--PITT began a long speech about the subject of our +meeting--SYDNEY fell asleep by the fire--MULGRAVE and GRENVILLE +retired to the old game of the board, and played push-pin for +ensigncies in the new corps--Grenville won three.--Mem.--To punish +their presumption, will not let either of them have one. + +THURLOW very queer.--He swore the bill is absurd, and my +correspondence with those cursed Directors damned stupid.--However, +will vote and speak with us--PITT quite sick of him--says he growls at +every thing, proposes nothing, and supports any thing. + +N.B. Must look about for a new Chancellor--Scott might do, but cants +too much about his independence and his conscience--what the devil +has he to do with independence and conscience--besides he has a +snivelling trick of retracting when he is caught in a lie--hate such +puling fellows--GEORGE HARDINGE not much better--must try him +tho'--will order him to speak on Wednesday. + +Took PITT to town in my chariot--drove to Berkeley-street--got PITT +to the door, but he would not come in--lounged an hour with +CHARLOTTE--promised her a company in one of the new regiments for a +disbanded private of the Horse Guards.--Why not order the whole House +to be qualified at DRUMMOND's, and charge it to the Company's secret +service? + +_March_ 10th.--Sent for TWINING--when he came, had by me a large bason +of his SOUCHONG--drank it without a wry face--the most nauseous black +draught I ever swallowed--swore it was excellent--quoted a sentence +from CICERO, which I got from PRETTYMAN for the occasion--promised to +put TWINING on my House-list next year, give him one of the Chairs, +and put the Tea-Trade under the Secret Committee--TWINING to procure +a requisition for a General Court--gave him hints for a speech--to +abuse Baring damnably. + +Called at WHITEHALL--took away the last letters from CORNWALLIS, that +PITT may not see them before they are _properly copied_ out by my +private Secretary.--Left orders for PITT and SYDNEY to follow me +to my house, where they would find my dispatches for India ready +for signing. + +_March_ 11th.--Dined with the Directors--almost too late; _London +Tavern_ not near enough.--Mem. to order the Directors in future always +to dine in my neighbourhood, and allow them to charge the additional +coach-hire to the Company--Why not buy a _long stage_ to carry them +about wherever I may want them? + +PITT frightened when we got into the City, lest the mob should +hiss--talked about _Grocers' Hall_ and better times; asked me if I was +not glad they were going to pull down _Temple bar_, and hoped there +would be no further occasion for it. + +Tried to prevent his being melancholy--threw a shilling among the +blackguards--would not do--no huzzaing. N.B. Not to forget to make the +Chairman repay me, the money being disbursed in the Company's service. + +Got to the LONDON TAVERN at six. Drew up my Commissioners in the +passage, and gave them their orders--told PITT to follow next to me, +and bid MULGRAVE speak in his upper voice, and be affable.--Tried to +laugh as we entered the room--MULGRAVE put us out by one of his +growling sighs--damn the fellow! must get rid of him.--Told DEVAYNES +to laugh for us all--did it well--make him Chairman next year. + +Dinner good--don't see why we should not dine with them always.--N.B. +Ordered twelve dozen of their claret to be carried to +_Wimbledon_--LUSHINGTON grumbled, and asked by what authority I did +it.--A very troublesome fellow that--remove him. + +PITT peevish and out of spirits; ordered MOTTEUX to sing a song--began +"_Ah si vous pouviez comprendre._" PITT turned red, and thought +the Chairman alluded to some dark passages in the India Bill--endeavoured +to pacify him, and told the _Secret Committee_ to give us a soft air; +they sung in a low voice "_the cause I must not, dare not +tell_"--MANSHIP groaned, and drank Colonel CATHCART. By G--, if I +thought he meant to betray me, I'd indict him for perjury!--Somebody +struck up "_if you trust before you try._"--PITT asked if the +Directors wished to affront, him, and began a long harangue about his +regard and friendship for the Company;--_nine_ Directors offered to +swear for it--told them they need not--bowed, and thanked me. + +LE MESURIER begged our attention to a little French Air, "_Sous le nom +de l'amitie en finesse on abonde_"--cursed _mal-a-propos_. + +PITT swore he was insulted, and got up to go away. The Alderman, much +terrified at what he had done, protested solemnly he meant no offence, +and called God to witness, it was a very harmless song he learnt some +time ago in _Guernsey_--Could not appease PITT--so went away with him, +after ordering MULGRAVE not to let SYDNEY drink any more wine, for +fear he should begin talking. + +PITT desired the servants to put out the flambeaux, as we went through +the city--(a sad coward!) asked me if I did not think FOX's a very +able speech--sighed, and said he had promised to answer it +to-morrow--wished however to do nothing in a hurry--expressed much +diffidence in his own abilities, and paid me many compliments--thought +I had a fine opportunity to shew my talents--assured me he should think +nothing of waving _his_ right to reply; and that he had not the least +objection to letting _me_ answer FOX--begged to decline the offer. +N.B. He seemed very uneasy and much frightened--never knew him +_diffident_ before--wish to-morrow was well over. + +Came home--opened a bottle of champaigne which I brought in the +carriage with me from the Directors' dinner--looked over my list of +_levee_ men--found nine field officers yet unprovided for. Wrote to +ROSS, enclosing the copy of a letter to be sent to me from Lord +C----LL--S requiring more King's troops--finished my bottle and +went to bed. + +_March_ 12.--Went to the levee--He looked surly--would hardly speak to +me--don't like him--must have heard that I can govern INDIA without +consulting him.--Nothing ever escapes that _damned_ fellow SHERIDAN! + +Between four and five went to the House--worse than the levee--PITT +would not speak, pretended it was better to wait for FOX--put him in +mind of the excuse he made at the end of the last debate, and his +_promise_ to answer _calumnies_--don't mind promises--a damned good +quality that--but ought to consider his friends--GEO. HARDINGE spoke +in consequence of my orders--forgot I was sitting below him--attacked +Lord NORTH's administration--got into a cursed scrape with +POWIS--won't do for CHANCELLOR--why not try BURGESS?--SCOTT defended +what he had said in the last debate--made it worse than ever--quoted +from DEBRETT's debates--talked about an _adder_--thought he was +alluding to PITT--our lawyers somehow don't answer--ADAM and +ANSTRUTHER worth them all--can't they be bought?--_Scotchmen!_--damned +strange if they can't--Mem. to tell ROSE to sound them. + +ADAM severe on me and the rest that have betrayed Lord NORTH--a +general confusion all round PITT--no one to defend us--VILLIERS +grinned--GRAHAM simpered--MULGRAVE growled--by G--d I believe PITT +enjoyed it--always pleased when his friends get into a scrape.--Mem. +to give him a lecture upon that--MULGRAVE spoke at last--wish he'd +held his tongue--SHERIDAN answered him--improves every day--wish we +had him----very odd so clever a fellow shouldn't be able to see his +own interest--wouldn't venture on a reply myself, for fear of another +lick from that clumsy boor Sir EDWARD ASTLEY--said my long speech was +dull and tiresome--what's the matter with the fellow?--used to vote +with us--believe LANSDOWN's got him.--Mem. to tell STEELE to look out +for another Member for the county of Norfolk. + +Jogged PITT--told him SHERIDAN's speech _must_ be answered--said, _I_ +might do it then, for he _couldn't_--PULTENEY relieved us a little, +pretending to be gull'd by the _checks_--too great nonsense to have +any effect on the House.--BASTARD forgot his last abuse of PITT, and +talked again about confidence; but was against the Bill--what's +confidence without a vote?--came to a division at last--better than +the former--had whipped in well from SCOTLAND--the House seems +tired--hope we shan't have much more of this. + +Mem. to give orders to MANNERS to make a noise, and let nobody speak +on third reading--a very useful fellow that MANNERS--does more good +sometimes than ten speakers. + +_March_ 14th. God's infinite mercy be praised, AMEN! This is the last +day that infernal DECLARATORY BILL stays in the House of Commons--as +for the _Lords_--but that's no business of mine; only poor +SYDNEY!--Well--God bless us all--AMEN! + +Got up and wrote the above, after a very restless night--went to bed +again--but could not sleep--troubled with the _blue devils_--thought I +saw POWIS--recovered myself a little, and fell into a slumber--Dreamt +I heard SHERIDAN speaking to me through the curtains--woke in a +fright, and jumped out of bed. + +Went down stairs--found some of the DIRECTORS waiting in the +hall--_damned their bloods_, and told them this was all their +doing--informed me a General Court was called by the enemy--bid them +make such a noise, that nobody might be heard--DEVAYNES undertook +it--ordered the SECRET COMMITTEE to stay, and sent the rest about +their business. + +After breakfast wrote to HAWK----Y, and begged his acceptance of a +_Lieut. Colonelcy, 2 Majorities, a Collectorship, 3 Shawls_ and a +piece of _India Muslin_ for the young ladies--sent back one of the +_Shawls_, and said he'd rather have another _Collector's +place_--Damnation! but it must be so, or SYDNEY will be left to +himself.--N.B. Not to forget THURLOW's _Arrack_ and _Gunpowder Tea_, +with the _India Crackers_ for his children. + +MULGRAVE called to know if I wanted him to speak to-day--told him +not--had enough of him last time. + +Went down to the House--ANSTRUTHER played the devil with all our +_checks_ and _guards_--serves us right for introducing such +nonsense--GEORGE NORTH asked when I meant to open my budget--said, +when the RAVENSWORTH arrives--pray God she be lost! Mem. When I do +open my budget, to state all the accounts in _Tales, Pagodas_, and +_Mohurs_--has a fine effect on the country gentlemen, and prevents +many impertinent observations. + +Waited very patiently for PITT's _promised answer_ to FOX's +_calumnies_ till eight o'clock--fresh inquiries about it every +minute--began to be very uneasy--saw OPPOSITION sneering--SHERIDAN +asked PITT if he was _hoarse_ yet--looked exceedingly foolish--pitied +him, and, by way of relieving his aukward situation, spoke myself--made +some of my boldest assertions--said a good thing about "_A Mare's +Nest_"--coined a few clauses, which I assured the House were in Fox's +Bill, and sat down with much applause--was afterwards unfortunately +detected in every thing I had said, and universally scouted by all +sides.--Mem. I should not have got into that scrape, if I had not +tried to help a friend in distress.--N.B. Never to do it again--there's +nothing to be gained by it. + +As soon as I recovered myself, asked PITT whether he really meant to +answer FOX, or not--Owned at last, with tears in his eyes, he could +not muster courage enough to attempt it--sad work this!--N.B. Observed +GRENVILLE made a note, that a man need not be an orator, to be +_Chancellor of the Exchequer_--he seemed pleased with the precedent. + +Nothing left for it but to cry _question!_--divided--only 54 +majority--here's a job! + +SHERIDAN read a cursed malicious paper, in which he proved PITT an +impostor: and that what FOX had openly demanded, the _Board of +Controul_ had secretly stolen.--Brother Commissioners all turned +pale--was obliged to rub their noses with _Thieves Vinegar_, and then +slunk out of the House as fast as I could.----N.B. Believe OLD +PEARSON's a sneering son of a bitch--tried to whistle as I went +through the lobby--asked me if I was unwell--damn his impudence. + +Came home in a very melancholy mood--returned thanks in a short prayer +for our narrow escape--drank a glass of brandy--confessed my +sins--determined to reform, and sent to WILBERFORCE for a good book--a +very worthy and religious young man that--like him much--always votes +with us. + +Was beginning to grow very dejected, when ROSE called to inform me +of an excellent scheme about BANK STOCK--a snug thing, and not more +than twenty in the secret--raised my spirits again--told the servant +I would not trouble Mr. WILBERFORCE--ordered a bottle of best +burgundy--set to it with ROSE, hand to fist--congratulated one another +on having got the DECLARATORY BILL out of our House--and drank good +luck to SYDNEY, and a speedy progress through the Lords. + + + + +INCANTATION, + +FOR RAISING A PHANTOM, IMITATED FROM MACBETH, AND LATELY PERFORMED +BY HIS MAJESTY'S SERVANTS IN WESTMINSTER. + + +_Thunder. A Cauldron boiling. +Enter three Witches._ + + _First Witch_. Thrice the Doctors have been heard, + _Second Witch_. Thrice the Houses have conferred. + _Third Witch_. Thrice hath SYDNEY cock'd his chin, + JENKY cries--begin, begin. + _First Witch_. Round about the cauldron go. + In the fell ingredients throw. + Still-born Foetus, born and bred, + In a Lawyer's puzzled head, + Hatch'd by Metaphysic Scot, + Boil thou in the' enchanted pot. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble; + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Second Witch_. Skull that holds the small remains + Of old CAMDEN's addle brains; + Liver of the lily's hue, + Which in RICHMOND's carcase grew; + Tears which stealing down the cheek + Of the rugged THURLOW, speak + All the poignant grief he feels + For his Sovereign--or the Seals; + For a charm of powerful trouble, + Like a Hell-broth, boil and bubble. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + _Third Witch._ Clippings of Corinthian brass + From the visage of DUNDAS; + Forg'd Address, devis'd by Rose, + Half of PEPPER ARDEN's nose; + Smuggled vote of City Thanks, + Promise of insidious BANKS; + Add a grain of ROLLO's courage, + To enflame the hellish porridge. + _First Witch_. Cool it, with LLOYD KENTON's blood. + Now the charm is firm and good. + _All_. Double, double, toil and trouble, + Fire burn, and Cauldron bubble. + +_Enter_ HECATE, _Queen of the Witches._ + + _Hecate_. Oh! well done! I commend your pains, + And ev'ry one shall share i'th' gains, + +_Cauldron sinks. Witches fly away upon broomsticks; thunder, &c._ + + + + +TRANSLATIONS + +OF LORD BELGRAVE'S MEMORABLE QUOTATIONS, AS INTRODUCED IN A SPEECH +DELIVERED BY HIS LORDSHIP IN A LATE DEBATE. + + +[_It is with singular satisfaction we communicate the following most +excellent versions of_ Lord BELGRAVE's _never-to-be-forgotten +quotation; trusting, as we sincerely do, that so mark'd an attention +to his Lordship's scholarship may considerably console him under his +melancholy failure as an orator._] + + Lord BELGRAVE's Quotation. + + {Ton dapameibomenos prosephe podas okus Achilleus.} + + Translation by Lord _Grosvenor_. + + His dam was Thetis, AEacus his Sire, + And for his paces he was nam'd Highflyer. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Achilles, who was quite a man of whim, + And also had a swift foot, answer'd him---- + + Another by Sir _Cecil Wray_. + + There was a man, Achilles he was call'd, } + He had two feet, they were so swift, he ball'd, } + Or otherwise, he mought, I say, have fall'd. } + + Another by Lord _Mornington_, and Lord _Graham_. + + With lightest heels oppos'd to heaviest head, + To Lord Atrides, Lord Achilles said---- + + Another by the _Chancellor_. + + To him Achilles, with a furious nod, + Replied, a very pretty speech, by G--d! + + Another by Mr. _Grenville_. + + The Grecian speaker rose with look so big, + It spoke his bottom and nigh burst his wig---- + + Another by _Brook Watson_. + + Up stood Achilles on his nimble pegs, + And said, "May I _pree-seume_ to shew my legs?" + + Another by Mr. _Wilberforce_. + + Achilles came forward to snivel and rant; + His spirit was spleen and his piety cant. + + Another by Mr. _Pitt_. + + Frantic with rage, uprose the fierce Achilles: + "How comfortably calm!" said Nestor Willis---- + + Translation by Sir _John Scott_. + + With metaphysic art his speech he plann'd, + And said what nobody could understand. + + Another by Mr. _Bastard_. + + The Trojan I oppose, he said, 'tis true, + But I abuse and hate Atrides too. + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Enrag'd Achilles never would agree, + A "petty vote," a "menial slave," was he. + + Another by Mons. Alderman _Le Mesurier_. + + By gar, Achille he say, I make a you + Parler anoder launguage, _ventre bleu!_ + + Another by Lord _Westcote_. + + Pliant and prompt in crane-neck curves to wheel, + Achilles rose, and _turn'd_ upon his heel. + + Another by Mr. _Wilbraham Beetle_. + + In oily terms he urg'd the chiefs to peace, + For none was more a friend than he to Grease. + + Another by Lord _Bayham_. + + His conscious hat well lin'd with borrow'd prose, + The lubber chief in sulky mien arose; + Elate with pride his long pent silence broke, + And could he but have _read_, he might have spoke. + + Another by Mr. _Dundas_. + + Up the bra' chield arose, and weel I wis } + To beath sides booing, begg'd 'em to dismiss } + Their wordy warfare in "a general _peece_."[1] } + + Another by Mr. _York_. + + This windy war, he swore, he could not hear; + So eas'd his troubles by "a stream of _air!_[2]" + + Another by Lord _Fawconberg_. + + Achilles swore he felt by no means hurt, + At putting on great Agamemnon's shirt; + He priz'd the honour, never grudg'd the trouble, + And only wish'd the profit had been double. + + Another by Lord _Winchelsea_. + + With formal mien, and visage most forlorn, + The courtly hero _spoke_ his _silent_ scorn. + + Another by Lord _Sydney_. + + The chief, unknowing how he shou'd begin, } + First darts around, the' opposing ranks to thin, } + The lightnings of his eye, and terrors of his chin. } + + Another by Mr. _Brandling_. + + Achilles rose, and said, without the least offence, + The dog has neither courage, worth, nor sense. + + Another by Lord _Belgrave_. + + Huic, ceu Pititius ipse, cito respondit Achilles, + Namque (ut ego) Graeceque seirens erat, & pede velox. + + Another by the _Twelve Lords of the Bedchamber_, in a passion. + + Frantic with desperate rage, Achilles roar'd-- + I beg ten thousand pardons, my dear Lord. + + Another by _Eighteen Bishops_, quite cool. + + Now't came to pass the Lord Achilles saith, + Hecate and Furies, Tartarus and Death. + + Another by Lord _Howe_. + + Hawling his wind abaft Atrides' wake, + The copper-bottom'd son of Peleus spake. + + Another by Sir _Joseph Mawbey_. + + Had great Achilles stood but half as quiet, + He had been by Xanthus drench'd as I by Wyatt. + +[1] It is impossible for the reader to comprehend the full force of +this expression, unless he recollect the wonderful effects it produced +in the House of Commons from Mr. Dundas's peculiar dialect, upon that +memorable occasion, when that great _diuretic_ orator, expatiating on +Oriental tranquillity, assured the House, that "at that moment all +India was _peece_--Bengal was at _peece_--Tippo sultan was at +_peece_--The Mahrattas were at _peece_--Every creature in Indostan, he +knew it for a _fawct, was comfortably at peece!!!_" + +[2] However sympathetic in politics, it is evident that the two last +of these translators are at variance in philosophy--the former relying +on the _hydraulic_ system---the latter on the _pneumatic_. + + +FINIS. + + + + +Transcriber's notes: + +Sec. Footnotes and imitations, which were originally placed at the +bottoms of the pages on which they were referenced, have been gathered +at the end of each chapter. + +Sec. The original footnote pointers (asterisks, obelisks, etc.) have been +replaced by Arabic numerals. + +Sec. All ligatures present in the original text have been resolved except +ae. + +Sec. Opening quotes in long quotations have been removed, except on the +first line. + +Sec. Transliterations from the Greek are enclosed in curly brackets, +like so: + {podas-okus} + +Sec. Archaic spelling has been retained. If in doubt, no correction has +been made. For example, the following have not been corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 308 : babes and suckling's mouths : babes and sucklings' mouths + 327 : And junto's speak : And juntos speak + 422 : independant : independent + +Sec. Spellings, of which it is assumed that they were not intended by +the authors, have been put right. These corrections were only made +after consulting earlier and/or later editions of the Rolliad. + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + iv : Delavalid : Delavaliad + 36 : feeedom : freedom + 84 : AHPION's lyre : AMPHION's lyre + 84 : postion : position + 126 : chip : ship + 135 : witticism of of his Grace : witticism of his Grace + 144 : The' Athenian sages : Th' Athenian sages + 168 : depe n d ants : dependants + 171 : sigh of love : sight of love + 172 : vi on : vision + 179 : chatised : chastised + 191 : neu te paeniteat calamo : nec te paeniteat calamo + 192 : Ex dixit moriens : Et dixit moriens + 192 : sparsis etiamnunc pellibus : sparsis etiam nunc pellibus + 200 : St. Sephen : St. Stephen + 213 : AEgie : AEgle + 229 : pecimens : specimens + 229 : Versificators Crononae : Versificators Coronae + 304 : insruct me : instruct me + 308 : in worthy strain sbe sung : in worthy strains be sung + 316 : his mouth his opes : his mouth he opes + 351 : antistrope : antistrophe + 358 : sacred patern : sacred pattern + 440 : PRETEYMAN : PRETTYMAN + 507 : what the devil has he do : what the devil has he to do + +Sec. In the content of the original, subsequent odes were listed as +'Ditto', and at the start of a new page as 'Ode'. This was considered +unnecessary in an e-text. On page iv of the contents, 'Ode' has +therefore been replaced by 'Ditto'. + +Sec. In the eclogue on Jekyll every fifth line is numbered. However, +lines 20, 25 and 35 were too long to accommodate these numbers in +the original. Instead, lines 21, 26 and 36 received a number. In +this e-text, the numbering has been put on 20, 25, and 35. + +Sec. Similarly, in the eclogue on Nicholson the line number 105 did not +fit on the line. For that reason, line 106 bears the line number. + +Sec. In the eclogue on Jenkinson, line number 25 is placed on line 26. +This has been corrected in this e-text. + +Sec. The last word on page 349 and the first word on page 350 are both +'that'. One has been eliminated. + +Sec. The following typographical errors relating to punctuation have been +corrected: + + page : original : correction + -------------------------------------------------------------------- + 224 : " " : " + 240 : Sir Joseph : "Sir Joseph + 442 : will seem true! : will seem true!" + 443 : by outlying, : by outlying. + +Sec. One poem, set in a blackletter script, has been marked like so: + +[Blackletter: + ... + ...] + +Sec. One couplet was struck through and has been marked like so: + +[Struck-through: + ... + ...] + +Sec. The original uses curly brackets that span over several lines to +indicate repetition. 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