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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/3923.txt b/3923.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bf6b5df --- /dev/null +++ b/3923.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3541 @@ +The Project Gutenberg Etext of MM. and Bebe, by Gustave Droz, v1 +#10 in our series The French Immortals Crowned by the French Academy +#1 in our series by Gustave Droz + +Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check +the laws for your country before redistributing these files!!!!! + +Please take a look at the important information in this header. +We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an +electronic path open for the next readers. + +Please do not remove this. + +This should be the first thing seen when anyone opens the book. +Do not change or edit it without written permission. 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Gustave entered L'Ecole des Beaux Arts and +became quite a noted artist, coming out in the Salon of 1857 with the +painting 'L'Obole de Cesar'. He also exhibited a little later various +'tableaux de genre': 'Buffet de chemin de fer' (1863), 'A la Sacristie' +and 'Un Succes de Salon' (1864), 'Monsieur le Cure, vous avez Raison' and +'Un Froid Sec' (1865). + +Toward this period, however, he abandoned the art of painting and +launched on the career of an author, contributing under the name of +Gustave Z.... to 'La Vie Parisienne'. His articles found great favor, +he showed himself an exquisite raconteur, a sharp observer of intimate +family life, and a most penetrating analyst. The very gallant sketches, +later reunited in 'Monsieur, Madame, et Bebe' (1866), and crowned by the +Academy, have gone through many editions. 'Entre nous' (1867) and 'Une +Femme genante', are written in the same humorous strain, and procured him +many admirers by the vivacious and sparkling representations of bachelor +and connubial life. However, Droz knows very well where to draw the +line, and has formally disavowed a lascivious novel published in Belgium +--'Un Ete a la campagne', often, but erroneously, attributed to him. + +It seems that Gustave Droz later joined the pessimistic camp. His works, +at least, indicate other qualities than those which gained for him the +favor of the reading public. He becomes a more ingenious romancer, a +more delicate psychologist. If some of his sketches are realistic, we +must consider that realism is not intended 'pour les jeunes filles du +pensiannat'. + +Beside the works mentioned in the above text, Gustave Droz wrote: 'Le +Cahier bleu de Mademoiselle Cibot (1868), 'Auteur d'une Source (1869), +'Un Paquet de Lettres' (1870), 'Babolain' (1872), 'Les Etangs' (1875), +'Tristesses et Sourires (1883), and L'Enfant (1884). + +He died in Paris, October 22, 1895. + + CAMILLE DOUCET + de l'Academie Francaise. + + + + + +CHAPTER I + +MY FIRST SUPPER PARTY + +The devil take me if I can remember her name, notwithstanding I dearly +loved her, the charming girl! + +It is strange how rich we find ourselves when we rummage in old drawers; +how many forgotten sighs, how many pretty little trinkets, broken, old- +fashioned, and dusty, we come across. But no matter. I was now +eighteen, and, upon my honor, very unsuspecting. It was in the arms of +that dear--I have her name at the tip of my tongue, it ended in "ine"-- +it was in her arms, the dear child, that I murmured my first words of +love, while I was close to her rounded shoulder, which had a pretty +little mole, where I imprinted my first kiss. I adored her, and she +returned my affection. + +I really think I should have married her, and that cheerfully, I can +assure you, if it had not been that on certain details of moral weakness +her past life inspired me with doubts, and her present with uneasiness. +No man is perfect; I was a trifle jealous. + +Well, one evening--it was Christmas eve--I called to take her to supper +with a friend of mine whom I esteemed much, and who became an examining +magistrate, I do not know where, but he is now dead. + +I went upstairs to the room of the sweet girl, and was quite surprised to +find her ready to start. She had on, I remember, a square-cut bodice, +a little too low to my taste, but it became her so well that when she +embraced me I was tempted to say: "I say, pet, suppose we remain here"; +but she took my arm, humming a favorite air of hers, and we soon found +ourselves in the street. + +You have experienced, have you not, this first joy of the youth who at +once becomes a man when he has his sweetheart on his arm? He trembles at +his boldness, and scents on the morrow the paternal rod; yet all these +fears are dissipated in the presence of the ineffable happiness of the +moment. He is free, he is a man, he loves, he is loved, he is conscious +that he is taking a forward step in life. He would like all Paris to see +him thus, yet he is afraid of being recognized; he would give his little +finger to grow three hairs on his upper lip, and to have a wrinkle on his +brow, to be able to smoke a cigar without being sick, and to polish off a +glass of punch without coughing. + +When we reached my friend's, the aforesaid examining magistrate, we found +a numerous company; from the anteroom we could hear bursts of laughter, +noisy conversation, accompanied by the clatter of plate and crockery, +which was being placed upon the table. I was a little excited; I knew +that I was the youngest of the party, and I was afraid of appearing +awkward on that night of revelry. I said to myself: "Old boy, you must +face the music, do the grand, and take your liquor like a little man; +your sweetheart is here, and her eyes are fixed on you." The idea, +however, that I might be ill next morning did indeed trouble me; in my +mind's eye, I saw my poor mother bringing me a cup of tea, and weeping +over my excesses, but I chased away all such thoughts and really all went +well up till suppertime. My sweetheart had been pulled about a little, +no doubt; one or two men had even kissed her under my very nose, but I at +once set down these details to the profit and loss column, and in all +sincerity I was proud and happy. + +"My young friends," suddenly exclaimed our host, "it is time to use your +forks vigorously. Let us adjourn to the diningroom." + +Joyful shouts greeted these words, and, amid great disorder, the guests +arranged themselves round the table, at each end of which I noticed two +plates filled up with those big cigars of which I could not smoke a +quarter without having a fit of cold shivers. + +"Those cigars will lead to a catastrophe, if I don't use prudence and +dissemble," said I to myself. + +I do not know how it was, but my sweetheart found herself seated on the +left of the host. I did not like that, but what could I say? And then, +the said host, with his twenty-five summers, his moustache curled up at +the ends, and his self-assurance, seemed to me the most ideal, the most +astounding of young devils, and I felt for him a shade of respect. + +"Well," he said, with captivating volubility, "you are feeling yourself +at home, are you not? You know any guest who feels uncomfortable in his +coat may take it off . . . and the ladies, too. Ha! ha! ha! +That's the way to make one's self happy, is it not, my little dears?" +And before he had finished laughing he printed a kiss right and left on +the necks of his two neighbors, one of whom, as I have already said, was +my beloved. + +The ill-bred dog! I felt my hair rise on end and my face glow like red- +hot iron. For the rest, everybody burst out laughing, and from that +moment the supper went on with increased animation. + +"My young friends," was the remark of that infernal examining magistrate, +"let us attack the cold meat, the sausages, the turkey, the salad; let us +at the cakes, the cheese, the oysters, and the grapes; let us attack the +whole show. Waiter, draw the corks and we will eat up everything at +once, eh, my cherubs? No ceremony, no false delicacy. This is fine fun; +it is Oriental, it is splendid. In the centre of Africa everybody acts +in this manner. We must introduce poetry into our pleasures. Pass me +some cheese with my turkey. Ha! ha! ha! I feel queer, I am wild, I am +crazy, am I not, pets?" And he bestowed two more kisses, as before. If +I had not been already drunk, upon my honor, I should have made a scene. + +I was stupid. Around me they were laughing, shouting, singing, and +rattling their plates. A racket of popping corks and breaking glasses +buzzed in my ears, but it seemed to me that a cloud had risen between me +and the outer world; a veil separated me from the other guests, and, +in spite of the evidence of my senses, I thought I was dreaming. I could +distinguish, however, though in a confused manner, the animated glances +and heightened color of the guests, and, above all, a disorder quite new +to me in the toilettes of the ladies. Even my sweetheart appeared to +have changed. Suddenly--it was as a flash of lightning--my beloved, my +angel, my ideal, she whom that very morning I was ready to marry, leaned +toward the examining magistrate and--I still feel the cold shudder-- +devoured three truffles which were on his plate. + +I experienced keen anguish; it seemed to me as if my heart were breaking +just then. + +Here my recollections cease. What then took place I do not know. All I +remember is that some one took me home in a cab. I kept asking: "Where +is she? Where? Oh, where?" + +I was told that she had left two hours before. The next morning I +experienced a keen sense of despair when the truffles of the examining +magistrate came back to mind. For a moment I had a vague idea of +entering upon holy orders, but time--you know what it is--calmed my +troubled breast. But what the devil was her name? It ended in "ine." +Indeed, no, I believe it ended in "a." + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE SOUL IN AGONY. + +TO MONSIEUR CLAUDE DE L-------- + + Seminary of P------sur-C------- + + (Haute-Saone). + +It affords me unspeakable pleasure to sit down to address you, dear +Claude. Must I tell you that I can not think without pious emotion of +that life which but yesterday we were leading together at the Jesuits' +College. How well I remember our long talks under the great trees, the +pious pilgrimages we daily made to the Father Superior's Calvary, our +charming readings, the darting forth of our two souls toward the eternal +source of all greatness and all goodness. I can still see the little +chapel which you fitted up one day in your desk, the pretty wax tapers we +made for it, which we lighted one day during the cosmography class. + +Oh, sweet recollections, how dear you are to me! Charming details of a +calm and holy life, with what happiness do I recall you! Time in +separating you from me seems only to have brought you nearer in +recollection. I have seen life, alas! during these six long months, but, +in acquiring a knowledge of the world, I have learned to love still more +the innocent ignorance of my past existence. Wiser than myself, you have +remained in the service of the Lord; you have understood the divine +mission which had been reserved for you; you have been unwilling to step +over the profane threshold and to enter the world, that cavern, I ought +to say, in which I am now assailed, tossed about like a frail bark during +a tempest. Nay, the anger of the waves of the sea compared to that of +the passions is mere child's play. Happy friend, who art ignorant of +what I have learned. Happy friend, whose eyes have not yet measured the +abyss into which mine are already sunk. + +But what was I to do? Was I not obliged--despite my vocation and the +tender friendship which called me to your side--was I not obliged, I say, +to submit to the exigencies imposed by the name I bear, and also to the +will of my father, who destined me for a military career in order to +defend a noble cause which you too would defend? In short, I obeyed and +quitted the college of the Fathers never to return again. + +I went into the world, my heart charged with the salutary fears which our +pious education had caused to grow up there. I advanced cautiously, +but very soon recoiled horror-stricken. I am eighteen; I am still young, +I know, but I have already reflected much, while the experience of my +pious instructors has imparted to my soul a precocious maturity which +enables me to judge of many things; besides my faith is so firmly +established and so deeply rooted in my being, that I can look about me +without danger. I do not fear for my own salvation, but I am shocked +when I think of the future of our modern society, and I pray the Lord +fervently, from a heart untainted by sin, not to turn away His +countenance in wrath from our unhappy country. Even here, at the seat of +my cousin, the Marchioness K------de C------, where I am at the present +moment, I can discover nothing but frivolity among the men, and dangerous +coquetry among the women. The pernicious atmosphere of the period seems +to pervade even the highest rank of the French aristocracy. Sometimes +discussions occur on matters pertaining to science and morals, which aim +a kind of indirect blow at religion itself, of which our Holy Father the +Pope should alone be called on to decide. In this way God permits, +at the present day, certain petty savants, flat-headed men of science, +to explain in a novel fashion the origin of humanity, and, despite the +excommunication which will certainly overtake them, to throw down a wild +and impious challenge at the most venerable traditions. + +I have not myself desired to be enlightened in regard to such base +depravity, but I have heard with poignant grief men with great minds and +illustrious names attach some importance to it. + +As to manners and customs, they are, without being immoral, which would +be out of the question in our society, distinguished by a frivolity and a +faculty for being carried away with allurements which are shocking in the +extreme. I will only give you a single example of this, although it is +one that has struck me most forcibly. + +Ten minutes' walk from the house there is a charming little stream +overshadowed by spreading willows; the current is slight, the water +pellucid, and the bed covered with sand so fine that one's feet sink into +it like a carpet. Now, would you believe it, dear friend, that, in this +hot weather, all those staying at the house go at the same time, +together, and, without distinction of sex, bathe in it? A simple garment +of thin stuff, and very tight, somewhat imperfectly screens the strangely +daring modesty of the ladies. Forgive me, my pious friend, for entering +into all these details, and for troubling the peacefulness of your soul +by this picture of worldly scenes, but I promised to share with you my +impressions, as well as my most secret thoughts. It is a sacred contract +which I am fulfilling. + +I will, therefore, acknowledge that these bathing scenes shocked me +greatly, the first time I heard them spoken of. I resented it with a +species of disgust easy to understand, while I positively refused to take +part in them. To speak the truth, I was chafed a little; still, these +worldly railleries could not touch me, and had no effect on my +determination. + +Yesterday, however, about five in the afternoon, the Marchioness sent for +me, and managed the affair so neatly, that it was impossible for me not +to act as her escort. + +We started. The maid carried the bathing costumes both of the +Marchioness and of my sister, who was to join us later. + +"I know," said my cousin, "that you swim well; the fame of your abilities +has reached us here from your college. You are going to teach me to +float, eh, Robert?" + +"I do not set much store by such paltry physical acquirements, cousin," +I replied; "I swim fairly, nothing more." + +And I turned my head to avoid an extremely penetrating aroma with which +her hair was impregnated. You know very well that I am subject to +nervous attacks. + +"But, my dear child, physical advantages are not so much to be despised." + +This "dear child" displeased me much. My cousin is twenty-six, it is +true, but I am no longer, properly speaking, a "dear child," and besides, +it denoted a familiarity which I did not care for. It was, on the part +of the Marchioness, one of the consequences of that frivolity of mind, +that carelessness of speech which I mentioned above, and nothing more; +still, I was shocked at it. She went on: + +"Exaggerated modesty is not good form in society," she said, turning +toward me with a smile. "You will, in time, make a very handsome +cavalier, my dear Robert, and that which you now lack is easy to acquire. +For instance, you should have your hair dressed by the Marquis's valet. +He will do it admirably, and then you will be charming." + +You must understand, my dear Claude, that I met these advances with a +frigidity of manner that left no doubt as to my intentions. + +"I repeat, my cousin," said I to her, "I attach to all this very little +importance," and I emphasized my words by a firm and icy look. Then +only, for I had not before cast my eyes on her, did I notice the peculiar +elegance of her toilette, an elegance for which, unhappily, the +perishable beauty of her person served as a pretext and an encouragement. + +Her arms were bare, and her wrists covered with bracelets; the upper part +of her neck was insufficiently veiled by the too slight fabric of a +transparent gauze; in short, the desire to please was displayed in her by +all the details of her appearance. I was stirred at the aspect of so +much frivolity, and I felt myself blush for pity, almost for shame. + +We reached, at length, the verge of the stream. She loosed my arm and +unceremoniously slid down, I can not say seated herself, upon the grass, +throwing back the long curls depending from her chignon. The word +chignon, in the language of society, denotes that prominence of the +cranium which is to be seen at the back of ladies' heads. It is produced +by making coils or plaits of their long hair. I have cause to believe, +from certain allusions I have heard, that many of these chignons are not +natural. There are women, most worthy daughters of Eve, who purchase for +gold the hair--horyesco referens--of the wretched or the dead. It +sickens one. + +"It is excessively hot, my dear cousin," said she, fanning herself. +"I tremble every moment in such weather lest Monsieur de Beaurenard's +nose should explode or catch fire. Ha, ha, ha. Upon my word of honor I +do." + +She exploded with laughter at this joke, an unbecoming one, and without +much point. Monsieur de Beaurenard is a friend of the Marquis, who +happens to have a high color. Out of politeness, I forced a smile, which +she, no doubt, took for approbation, for she then launched out into +conversation--an indescribable flow of chatter, blending the most profane +sentiments with the strangest religious ideas, the quiet of the country +with the whirl of society, and all this with a freedom of gesture, a +charm of expression, a subtlety of glance, and a species of earthly +poesy, by which any other soul than mine would have been seduced. + +"This is a pretty spot, this charming little nook, is it not?" + +"Certainly, my dear cousin." + +"And these old willows with their large tops overhanging the stream; see +how the field-flowers cluster gayly about their battered trunks! How +strange, too, that young foliage, so elegant, so silvery, those branches +so slender and so supple! So much elegance, freshness and youth shooting +up from that old trunk which seems as if accursed!" + +"God does not curse a vegetable, my cousin." + +"That is possible; but I can not help finding in willows something which +is suggestive of humanity. Perpetual old age resembles punishment. +That old reprobate of the bank there is expiating and suffering, that old +Quasimodo of the fields. What would you that I should do about it, my +cousin, for that is the impression that it gives me? What is there to +tell me that the willow is not the final incarnation of an impenitent +angler?" And she burst out laughing. + +"Those are pagan ideas, and as such are so opposed to the dogmas of +faith, that I am obliged, in order to explain their coming from your +mouth, to suppose that you are trying to make a fool of me." + +"Not the least in the world; I am not making fun of you, my dear Robert. +You are not a baby, you know! Come, go and get ready for a swim; I will +go into my dressing-tent and do the same." + +She saluted me with her hand, as she lifted one of the sides of the tent, +with unmistakable coquetry. What a strange mystery is the heart of +woman! + +I sought out a spot shaded by the bushes, thinking over these things; but +it was not long before I had got into my bathing costume. I thought of +you, my pious friend, as I was buttoning the neck and the wrists of this +conventional garment. How many times have you not helped me to execute +this little task about which I was so awkward. Briefly, I entered the +water and was about to strike out when the sound of the marchioness's +voice assailed my ears. She was talking with her maid inside the tent. +I stopped and listened; not out of guilty curiosity, I can assure you, +but out of a sincere wish to become better acquainted with that soul. + +"No, no, Julie," the marchioness was saying. "No, no; I won't hear you +say any more about that frightful waterproof cap. The water gets inside +and does not come out. Twist up my hair in a net; nothing more is +required." + +"Your ladyship's hair will get wet." + +"Then you can powder it. Nothing is better for drying than powder. And +so, I shall wear my light blue dress this evening; blond powder will go +with it exactly. My child, you are becoming foolish. I told you to +shorten my bathing costume, by taking it up at the knees. Just see what +it looks like!" + +"I was fearful that your ladyship would find it too tight for swimming." + +"Tight! Then why have you taken it in three good inches just here? See +how it wrinkles up; it is ridiculous, don't you see it, my girl, don't +you see it?" + +The sides of the tent were moved; and I guessed that my cousin was +somewhat impatiently assuming the costume in question, in order the +better to point out its defects to her maid. + +"I don't want to look as if I were wound up in a sheet, but yet I want to +be left freedom of action. You can not get it into your head, Julie, +that this material will not stretch. You see now that I stoop a little- +Ah! you see it at last, that's well." + +Weak minds! Is it not true, my pious friend, that there are those who +can be absorbed by such small matters? I find these preoccupations to be +so frivolous that I was pained at being even the involuntary recipient of +them, and I splashed the water with my hands to announce my presence and +put a stop to a conversation which shocked me. + +"I am coming to you, Robert; get into the water. Has your sister arrived +yet?" said my cousin, raising her voice; then softly, and addressing her +maid, she added: "Yes, of course, lace it tightly. I want support." + +One side of the tent was raised, and my relative appeared. I know not +why I shuddered, as if at the approach of some danger. She advanced two +or three steps on the fine sand, drawing from her fingers as she did so, +the gold rings she was accustomed to wear; then she stopped, handed them +to Julie, and, with a movement which I can see now, but which it is +impossible for me to describe to you, kicked off into the grass the +slippers, with red bows, which enveloped her feet. + +She had only taken three paces, but it sufficed to enable me to remark +the singularity of her gait. She walked with short, timid steps, her +bare arms close to her sides. + +She had divested herself of all the outward tokens of a woman, save the +tresses of her hair, which were rolled up in a net. As for the rest, she +was a comical-looking young man, at once slender yet afflicted by an +unnatural plumpness, one of those beings who appear to us in dreams, and +in the delirium of fever, one of those creatures toward whom an unknown +power attracts us, and who resemble angels too nearly not to be demons. + +"Well, Robert, of what are you thinking? Give me your hand and help me +to get into the water." + +She dipped the toes of her arched foot into the pellucid stream. + +"This always gives one a little shock, but the water ought to be +delightful to-day," said she. "But what is the matter with you?--your +hand shakes. You are a chilly mortal, cousin." + +The fact is, I was not trembling either through fear or cold; but on +approaching the Marchioness, the sharp perfume which emanated from her +hair went to my head, and with my delicate nerves you will readily +understand that I was about to faint. I mastered this sensation, +however. She took a firm grip of my hand, as one would clasp the knob of +a cane or the banister of a stair, and we advanced into the stream side +by side. + +As we advanced the stream became deeper. The Marchioness, as the water +rose higher, gave vent to low cries of fear resembling the hiss of a +serpent; then she broke out into ringing bursts of laughter, and drew +closer and closer to me. Finally, she stopped, and turning she looked +straight into my eyes. I felt then that moment was a solemn one. I +thought a hidden precipice was concealed at my feet, my heart throbbed as +if it would burst, and my head seemed to be on fire. + +"Come now, teach me to float on my back, Robert. Legs straight and +extended, arms close to the body, that's the way, is it not?" + +"Yes, my dear cousin, and move your hands gently under you." + +"Very good; here goes, then. One, two, three-off! Oh, what a little +goose I am, I'm afraid! Oh cousin, support me, just a little bit." + +That was the moment when I ought to have said to her: "No, Madame, I am +not the man to support coquettes, and I will not." But I did not dare +say that; my tongue remained silent, and I passed my arm round the +Marchioness's waist, in order to support her more easily. + +Alas! I had made a mistake; perhaps an irreparable one. + +In that supreme moment it was but too true that I adored her seductive +charms. Let me cut it short. When I held her thus it seemed to me that +all the blood in my body rushed back to my heart--a deadly thrill ran +through every limb--from shame and indignation, no doubt; my vision +became obscure; it seemed as if my soul was leaving my body, and I fell +forward fainting, and dragged her down to the bottom of the water in a +mortal clutch. + +I heard a loud cry. I felt her arms interlace my neck, her clenched +fingers sink deep into my flesh, and all was over. I had lost +consciousness. + +When I came to myself I was lying on the grass. Julie was chafing my +hands, and the Marchioness, in her bathing-dress, which was streaming +with water, was holding a vinaigrette to my nose. She looked at me +severely, although in her glance there was a shade of pleased +satisfaction, the import of which escaped me. + +"Baby! you great baby!" said she. + +Now that you know all the facts, my pious friend, bestow on me the favor +of your counsel, and thank heaven that you live remote from scenes like +these. + + With heart and soul, + Your sincere friend, + ROBERT DE K-----DEC------. + + + + +CHAPTER III + +MADAME DE K. + +It is possible that you know Madame de K.; if this be so, I congratulate +you, for she is a very remarkable person. Her face is pretty, but they +do not say of her, "Ah, what a pretty woman!" They say: "Madame de K.? +Ah! to be sure, a fine woman!" Do you perceive the difference? it is +easy to grasp it. That which charms in her is less what one sees than +what one guesses at. Ah! to be sure, a fine woman! That is what is said +after dinner when we have dined at her house, and when her husband, who +unfortunately is in bad health and does not smoke, has gone to fetch +cigars from his desk. It is said in a low tone, as though in confidence; +but from this affected reserve, it is easy to read conviction on the part +of each of the guests. The ladies in the drawing room do not suspect the +charming freedom which characterizes the gossip of the gentlemen when +they have gone into the smoking-room to puff their cigars over a cup of +coffee. + +"Yes, yes, she is a very fine woman." + +"Ah! the deuce, expansive beauty, opulent." + +"But poor De K. makes me feel anxious; he does not seem to get any +better. Does it not alarm you, Doctor?" + +Every one smiles 'sub rosa' at the idea that poor De K., who has gone to +fetch cigars, pines away visibly, while his wife is so well. + +"He is foolish; he works too hard, as I have told him. His position at +the ministry--thanks, I never take sugar." + +"But, really, it is serious, for after all he is not strong," ventures a +guest, gravely, biting his lips meanwhile to keep from laughing. + +"I think even that within the last year her beauty has developed," says a +little gentleman, stirring his coffee. + +"De K.'s beauty? I never could see it." + +"I don't say that." + +"Excuse me, you did; is it not so, Doctor?" + +"Forsooth!"--"How now! Come, let us make the distinction."--"Ha, ha, +ha!" And there is a burst of that hearty laughter which men affect to +assist digestion. The ice is broken, they draw closer to each other and +continue in low tones: + +"She has a fine neck! for when she turned just now it looked as if it +had been sculptured." + +"Her neck, her neck! but what of her hands, her arms and her shoulders! +Did you see her at Leon's ball a fortnight ago? A queen, my dear fellow, +a Roman empress. Neck, shoulders, arms--" + +"And all the rest," hazards some one, looking down into his cup. All +laugh heartily, and the good De K. comes in with a box of cigars which +look exceptional. + +"Here you are, my friends," he says, coughing slightly, "but let me +recommend you to smoke carefully." + +I have often dined with my friend De K., and I have always, or almost +always, heard a conversation similar to the preceding. But I must avow +that the evening on which I heard the impertinent remark of this +gentleman I was particularly shocked; first, because De K. is my friend, +and in the second place because I can not endure people who speak of that +of which they know nothing. I make bold to say that I alone in Paris +understand this matter to the bottom. Yes, yes, I alone; and the reason +is not far to seek. Paul and his brother are in England; Ernest is a +consul in America; as for Leon, he is at Hycres in his little +subprefecture. You see, therefore, that in truth I am the only one in +Paris who can-- + +"But hold, Monsieur Z., you must be joking. Explain yourself; come to +the point. Do you mean to say that Madame de K.--oh! dear me! but that +is most 'inconvenant'!" + +Nothing, nothing! I am foolish. Let us suppose that I had not spoken, +ladies; let us speak of something else. How could the idea have got into +my head of saying anything about "all the rest"? Let us talk of +something else. + +It was a real spring morning, the rain fell in torrents and the north +wind blew furiously, when the damsel, more dead than alive---- + +The fact is, I feel I can not get out of it. It will be better to tell +all. Only swear to me to be discreet. On your word of honor? Well, +then, here goes. + +I am, I repeat, the only man in Paris who can speak from knowledge of +"all the rest" in regard to Madame de K. + +Some years ago--but do not let us anticipate--I say, some years ago I had +an intimate friend at whose house we met many evenings. In summer the +windows were left open, and we used to sit in armchairs and chat of +affairs by the light of our cigars. Now, one evening, when we were +talking of fishing--all these details are still fresh in my memory--we +heard the sound of a powerful harpsichord, and soon followed the harsh +notes of a voice more vigorous than harmonious, I must admit. + +"Aha! she has altered her hours," said Paul, regarding one of the windows +of the house opposite. + +"Who has changed her hours, my dear fellow?" + +"My neighbor. A robust voice, don't you think so? Usually she practises +in the morning, and I like that better, for it is the time I go out for a +walk." + +Instinctively I glanced toward the lighted window, and through the drawn +curtains I distinctly perceived a woman, dressed in white, with her hair +loose, and swaying before her instrument like a person conscious that she +was alone and responding to her own inspirations. + +"My Fernand, go, seek glo-o-o-ry," she was singing at the top of her +voice. The singing appeared to me mediocre, but the songstress in her +peignoir interested me much. + +"Gentlemen," said I, "it appears to me there is behind that frail +tissue"--I alluded to the curtain--"a very handsome woman. Put out your +cigars, if you please; their light might betray our presence and +embarrass the fair singer." + +The cigars were at once dropped--the window was even almost completely +closed for greater security--and we began to watch. + +This was not, I know, quite discreet, but, as the devil willed it, we +were young bachelors, all five of us, and then, after all, dear reader, +would not you have done the same? + +When the song was concluded, the singer rose. It was very hot and her +garment must have been very thin, for the light, which was at the farther +end of the room, shone through the fabric. It was one of those long +robes which fall to the feet, and which custom has reserved for night +wear. The upper part is often trimmed with lace, the sleeves are wide, +the folds are long and flowing, and usually give forth a perfume of +ambergris or violet. But perhaps you know this garment as well as I. +The fair one drew near the looking-glass, and it seemed to us that she +was contemplating her face; then she raised her hands in the air, and, in +the graceful movement she made, the sleeve, which was unbuttoned and very +loose, slipped from her beautifully rounded arm, the outline of which we +distinctly perceived. + +"The devil!" said Paul, in a stifled voice, but he could say no more. + +The songstress then gathered up her hair, which hung very low, in her two +hands and twisted it in the air, just as the washerwomen do. Her head, +which we saw in profile, inclined a little forward, and her shoulders, +which the movement of her arms threw back, presented a more prominent and +clear outline. + +"Marble, Parian marble!" muttered Paul. "O Cypris! Cytherea! Paphia!" + +"Be quiet, you donkey!" + +It really seemed as if the flame of the candle understood our +appreciation and ministered specially to our admiration. Placed behind +the fair songstress, it illuminated her so perfectly that the garment +with the long folds resembled those thin vapors which veil the horizon +without hiding it, and in a word, the most inquisitive imagination, +disarmed by so much courtesy, was ready to exclaim, "That is enough!" + +Soon the fair one moved forward toward her bed, sat down in a very low +armchair, in which she stretched herself out at her ease, and remained +for some moments, with her hands clasped over her head and her limbs +extended. just then midnight struck; we saw her take her right leg +slowly and cross it over her left, when we perceived that she had not yet +removed her shoes and stockings. + +But what is the use of asking any more about it? These recollections +trouble me, and, although they have fixed themselves in my mind-very +firmly indeed, I can assure you--I feel an embarrassment mingled with +modesty at relating all to you at length. Besides, at the moment she +turned down the clothes, and prepared, to get into bed, the light went +out. + +On the morrow, about ten o'clock in the evening, we all five again found +ourselves at Paul's, four of us with opera-glasses in our pockets. As on +the previous evening, the fair songstress sat down at her piano, then +proceeded slowly to make her night toilette. There was the same grace, +the same charm, but when we came to the fatal moment at which on the +preceding night the candle had gone out, a faint thrill ran through us +all. To tell the truth, for my part, I was nervous. Heaven, very +fortunately, was now on our side; the candle continued to burn. The +young woman then, with her charming hand, the plump outlines of which we +could easily distinguish, smoothed the pillow, patted it, arranged it +with a thousand caressing precautions in which the thought was suggested, +"With what happiness shall I now go and bury my head in it!" + +Then she smoothed down the little wrinkles in the bed, the contact with +which might have irritated her, and, raising herself on her right arm, +like a horseman, about to get into the saddle, we saw her left knee, +smooth and shining as marble, slowly bury itself. We seemed to hear a +kind of creaking, but this creaking sounded joyful. The sight was brief, +too brief, alas! and it was in a species of delightful confusion that we +perceived a well-rounded limb, dazzlingly white, struggling in the silk +of the quilt. At length everything became quiet again, and it was as +much as we could do to make out a smooth, rose-tinted little foot which, +not being sleepy, still lingered outside and fidgeted with the silken +covering. + +Delightful souvenir of my lively youth! My pen splutters, my paper seems +to blush to the color of that used by the orange-sellers. I believe I +have said too much. + +I learned some time afterward that my friend De K. was about to be +married, and, singularly enough, was going to wed this beautiful creature +with whom I was so well acquainted. + +"A charming woman!" I exclaimed one day. + +"You know her, then?" said someone. + +"I? No, not the least in the world." + +"But?" + +"Yes-no, let me see; I have seen her once at high mass." + +"She is not very pretty," some one remarked to me. + +"No, not her face," I rejoined, and added to myself, "No, not her face, +but all the rest!" + +It is none the less true that for some time past this secret has been +oppressing me, and, though I decided to-day to reveal it to you, it was +because it seems to me that to do so would quiet my conscience. + +But, for Heaven's sake, let me entreat you, do not noise abroad the +affair! + + + + +CHAPTER IV + +SOUVENIRS OF LENT + +The faithful are flocking up the steps of the temple; spring toilettes +already glitter in the sun; trains sweep the dust with their long flowing +folds; feathers and ribbons flutter; the bell chimes solemnly, while +carriages keep arriving at a trot, depositing upon the pavement all that +is most pious and most noble in the Faubourg, then draw up in line at the +farther end of the square. + +Be quick, elbow your way through the crowd if you want a good place; the +Abbe Gelon preaches to-day on abstinence, and when the Abbe Gelon +preaches it is as if Patti were singing. + +Enter Madame, pushes the triple door, which recloses heavily, brushes +with rapid fingers the holywater sprinkler which that pious old man holds +out, and carefully makes a graceful little sign of the cross so as not to +spot her ribbons. + +Do you hear these discreet and aristocratic whisperings? + +"Good morning, my dear." + +"Good morning, dear. It is always on abstinence that he preaches, is it +not? Have you a seat?" + +"Yes, yes, come with me. You have got on your famous bonnet, I see?" + +"Yes; do you like it? It is a little showy, is it not? What a multitude +of people! Where is your husband?" + +"Showy! Oh, no, it is splendid. My husband is in the churchwarden's +pew; he left before me; he is becoming a fanatic--he speaks of lunching +on radishes and lentils." + +"That ought to be very consoling to you." + +"Don't mention it. Come with me. See; there are Ernestine and Louise. +Poor Louise's nose, always the same; who would believe that she drinks +nothing stronger than water?" + +The ladies push their way among the chairs, some of which they upset with +the greatest unconcern. + +Arrived at their places they sink down on their knees, and, moist-eyed +and full of feeling, cast a look of veiled adoration toward the high +altar, then hide their faces with their gloved hands. + +For a very few minutes they gracefully deprecate themselves in the eyes +of the Lord, then, taking their seats, coquettishly arrange the immense +bows of their bonnet-strings, scan the assembly through a gold eyeglass, +with the little finger turning up; finally, while smoothing down the +satin folds of a dress difficult to keep in place, they scatter, right +and left, charming little recognitions and delightful little smiles. + +"Are you comfortable, dear?" + +"Quite, thanks. Do you see in front there, between the two tapers, +Louise and Madame de C-------? Is it allowable in any one to come to +church got up like that?" + +"Oh! I have never believed much in the piety of Madame de C-------. +You know her history--the story of the screen? I will tell it you later. +Ah! there is the verger." + +The verger shows his bald head in the pulpit of truth. He arranges the +seat, adjusts the kneeling-stool, then withdraws and allows the Abbe +Gelon, who is somewhat pale from Lenten fasting, but striking, as he +always is, in dignity, elegance, and unction. A momentary flutter passes +through the congregation, then they settle down comfortably. The noise +dies away, and all eyes are eagerly looking toward the face of the +preacher. With his eyes turned to heaven, the latter stands upright and +motionless; a light from above may be divined in his inspired look; +his beautiful, white hands, encircled at the wrists by fine lace, are +carelessly placed on the red velvet cushion of the pulpit. He waits a +few moments, coughs twice, unfolds his handkerchief, deposits his square +hat in a corner, and, bending forward, lets fall from his lips in those +sweet slow, persuasive tones, by which he is known, the first words of +his sermon, "Ladies!" + +With this single word he has already won all hearts. Slowly he casts +over his audience a mellow glance, which penetrates and attracts; then, +having uttered a few Latin words which he has the tact to translate +quickly into French, he continues: + +"What is it to abstain? Why should we abstain? How should we abstain? +Those are the three points, ladies, I shall proceed to discuss." + +He blows his nose, coughs; a holy thrill stirs every heart. How will he +treat this magnificent subject? Let us listen. + +Is it not true, Madame, that your heart is piously stirred, and that at +this moment you feel an actual thirst for abstinence and mortification? + +The holy precincts are bathed in a soft obscurity, similar to that of +your boudoir, and inducing revery. + +I know not how much of the ineffable and of the vaguely exhilarating +penetrates your being. But the voice of this handsome and venerated old +man has, amidst the deep silence, something deliciously heavenly about +it. Mysterious echoes repeat from the far end of the temple each of his +words, and in the dim light of the sanctuary the golden candlesticks +glitter like precious stones. The old stained-glass windows with their +symbolic figures become suddenly illuminated, a flood of light and +sunshine spreads through the church like a sheet of fire. Are the +heavens opening? Is the Spirit from on high descending among us? + +While lost in pious revery, which soothes and lulls, one gazes with +ecstasy on the fanciful details of the sculptures which vanish in the +groined roof above, and on the quaint pipes of the organ with its hundred +voices. The beliefs of childhood piously inculcated in your heart +suddenly reawaken; a vague perfume of incense again penetrates the air. +The stone pillars shoot up to infinite heights, and from these celestial +arches depends the golden lamp which sways to and fro in space, diffusing +its eternal light. Truly, God is great. + +By degrees the sweet tones of the preacher enrapture one more and more, +and the sense of his words are lost; and, listening to the divine murmur +of that saint-like voice, your eyes, like those of a child falling asleep +in the bosom of the Creator, close. + +You do not go to sleep, but your head inclines forward, the ethereal +light surrounds you, and your soul, delighting in the uncertain, plunges +into celestial space, and loses itself in infinity. + +What a sweet and holily intoxicating sensation, a delicious ecstasy! +Nevertheless, there are those who smile at this religious raise-en-scene, +these pomps and splendors, this celestial music, which soothes the nerves +and thrills the brain! Pity on these scoffers who do not comprehend the +ineffable delight of being able to open at will the gates of Paradise to +themselves, and to become, at odd moments, one with the angels! But what +purpose does it serve to speak of the faithless and of their harmless, +smiles? As the Abbe Gelon has in his inimitable manner observed, "The +heart is a fortress, incessantly assailed by the spirit of darkness." + +The idea of a constant struggle with this powerful being has something +about it that adds tenfold to our strength and flatters our vanity. +What, alone in your fortress, Madame; alone with the spirit of darkness. + +But hush! the Abbe Gelon is finishing in a quivering and fatigued voice. +His right hand traces in the air the sign of peace. Then he wipes his +humid forehead, his eyes sparkle with divine light, he descends the +narrow stairs, and we hear on the pavement the regular taps of the rod of +the verger, who is reconducting him to the vestry. + +"Was he not splendid, dear?" + +"Excellent! when he said, 'That my eyes might close forever, if......' +you remember?" + +"Superb! and further on: 'Yes, ladies, you are coquettes.' He told us +some hard truths; he speaks admirably." + +"Admirably! He is divine!" + + +It is four o'clock, the church is plunged in shadow and silence. The +confused rumble of the vehicles without hardly penetrates this dwelling +of prayer, and the creak of one's boots, echoing in the distance, is the +only human noise which ruffles the deep calm. + +However, in proportion as we advance, we perceive in the chapels groups +of the faithful, kneeling, motionless and silent. In viewing the despair +that their attitude appears to express, we are overwhelmed with sadness +and uneasiness. Is it an appeal for the damned? + +The aspects of one of these chapels is peculiar. A hundred or a hundred +and fifty ladies, almost buried in silk and velvet, are crowded devoutly +about the confessional. A sweet scent of violets and vervain permeates +the vicinity, and one halts, in spite of one's self, in the presence of +this large display of elegance. + +From each of the two cells adjoining the confessional shoot out the folds +of a rebellious skirt, for the penitent, held fast at the waist, has been +able to get only half of her form into the narrow space. However, her +head can be distinguished moving in the shadow, and we can guess from the +contrite movements of her white feather that her forehead is bowed by +reason of remonstrance and repentance. + +Hardly has she concluded her little story when a dozen of her neighbors +rush forward to replace her. This eagerness is quite explicable, for +this chapel is the one in which the Abbe Gelon hears confessions, and I +need not tell you that when the Abbe Gelon confesses it is the same as if +he were preaching--there is a crowd. + +The good Abbe confesses all these ladies, and, with angelic devotion, +remains shut up for hours in this dark, narrow, suffocating box, through +the grating of which two penitents are continually whispering their sins. + +The dear Abbe! the most likable thing about him is that he is not long +over the business. He knows how to get rid of useless details; he +perceives, with subtle instinct and a sureness of vision that spares you +a thousand embarrassments, the condition of a soul, so that, besides +being a man of intelligence and of the world, he renders the repetition +of those little weaknesses, of which he has whispered the one half to +you, almost agreeable. + +In coming to him with one's little burden of guilt, one feels somewhat +embarrassed, but while one is hesitating about telling him all, he, with +a discreet and skilful hand, disencumbers one of it rapidly, examines the +contents, smiles or consoles, and the confession is made without one +having uttered a single word; so that after all is over the penitent +exclaims, prostrating one's self before God, "But, Lord, I was pure, pure +as the lily, and yet how uneasy I was!" + +Even when he assumes the sacerdotal habit and ceases to be a man, and +speaks in the name of God, the tones of his voice, the refinement of his +look, reveal innate distinction and that spotless courtesy which can not +harm even a minister of God, and which one must cultivate on this side of +the Rue du Bac. + +If God wills that there must be a Faubourg St.-Germain in the world--and +it can not be denied that He does--is it not proper that He should give +us a minister who speaks our language and understands our weaknesses? +Nothing is more obvious, and I really do not comprehend some of these +ladies who talk to me about the Abbe Brice. Not that I wish to speak ill +of the good Abbe, for this is neither the time nor the place for it; +he is a holy man, but his sanctity is a little bourgeois and needs +polish. + +With him one has to dot one's i's; he is dull in perception, or does not +perceive at all. + +Acknowledge a peccadillo, and his brows knit, he must know the hour, the +moment, the antecedents; he examines, he probes, he weighs, and finishes +his thousand questions by being indiscreet and almost improper. Is there +not, even in the holy mission of the priest, a way of being politely +severe, and of acting the gentleman to people well born? + +The Abbe Brice--and there is no reason why I should conceal it--smells of +the stable, which must be prejudicial to him. He is slightly Republican, +too, wears clumsy boots, has awful nails, and when he gets new gloves, +twice a year, his fingers stand out stiff and separate. + +I do not, I would have you remark, deny his admirable virtues; but say +what you like, you will never get a woman of fashion to confide her +"little affairs" to a farmer's son, and address him as "Father." Matters +must not be carried the length of absurdity; besides, this Abbe Brice +always smells detestably of snuff. + +He confesses all sorts of people, and you will agree that it is not +pleasant to have one's maid or one's cook for one's visa-vis at the +confessional. + +There is not a woman who understands Christian humility better than +yourself, dear Madame; but all the same you are not accustomed to travel +in an omnibus. You may be told that in heaven you will only be too happy +to call your coachman "Brother," and to say to Sarah Jane, "Sister," but +these worthy folk shall have first passed through purgatory, and fire +purifies everything. Again, what is there to assure us that Sarah Jane +will go to heaven, since you yourself, dear Madame, are not so sure of +entering there? + +It is hence quite well understood why the Abbe Gelon's chapel is crowded. +If a little whispering goes on, it is because they have been waiting +three long hours, and because everybody knows one another. + +All the ladies, you may be sure, are there. + +"Make a little room for me, dear," whispers a newcomer, edging her way +through trains, kneeling-stools, and chairs. + +"Ah! is that you, dear? Come here. Clementine and Madame de B. are +there in the corner at the cannon's mouth. You will have to wait two +good hours." + +"If Madame de B. is there, it does not surprise me. She is +inexhaustible, and there is no other woman who is so long in telling a +thing. Have all these people not had their turn yet? Ah! there is +Ernestine." (She waves her hand to her quietly.) "That child is an +angel. She acknowledged to me the other day that her conscience troubled +her because, on reading the 'Passion,' she could not make up her mind to +kiss the mat." + +"Ah! charming; but, tell me, do you kiss the mat yourself?" + +"I! no, never in my life; it is so nasty, dear." + +"You confess to the omission, at least?" + +"Oh! I confess all those little trifles in a lump. I say, 'Father, I +have erred out of human self-respect.' I give the total at once." + +"That is just what I do, and that dear Abbe Gelon discharges the bill." + +"Seriously, time would fail him if he acted otherwise. But it seems to +me that we are whispering a little too much, dear; let me think over my +little bill." + +Madame leans upon her praying-stool. Gracefully she removes, without +taking her eyes off the altar, the glove from her right hand, and with +her thumb turns the ring of Ste-Genevieve that serves her as a rosary, +moving her lips the while. Then, with downcast eyes and set lips, she +loosens the fleur-de-lys-engraved clasp of her Book of Hours, and seeks +out the prayers appropriate to her condition. + +She reads with fervency: "'My God, crushed beneath the burden of my sins +I cast myself at thy feet'--how annoying that it should be so cold to the +feet. With my sore throat, I am sure to have influenza,--'that I cast +myself at thy feet'--tell me, dear, do you know if the chapel-keeper has +a footwarmer? Nothing is worse than cold feet, and that Madame de P. +sticks there for hours. I am sure she confesses her friends' sins along +with her own. It is intolerable; I no longer have any feeling in my +right foot; I would pay that woman for her foot-warmer--'I bow my head in +the dust under the weight of repentance, and of........'" + +"Ah! Madame de P. has finished; she is as red as the comb of a turkey- +cock." + +Four ladies rush forward with pious ardor to take her place. + +"Ah! Madame, do not push so, I beg of you." + +"But I was here before you, Madame." + +"I beg a thousand pardons, Madame." + +"You surely have a very strange idea of the respect which is due to this +hallowed spot." + +"Hush, hush! Profit by the opportunity, Madame; slip through and take +the vacant place. (Whispering.) Do not forget the big one last night, +and the two little ones of this morning." + + + + +CHAPTER V + +MADAME AND HER FRIEND CHAT BY THE FIRESIDE + +Madam--(moving her slender fingers)--It is ruched, ruched, ruched, loves +of ruches, edged all around with blond. + +Her Friend--That is good style, dear. + +Madame--Yes, I think it will be the style, and over this snowlike foam +fall the skirts of blue silk like the bodice; but a lovely blue, +something like--a little less pronounced than skyblue, you know, like-- +my husband calls it a subdued blue. + +Her Friend--Splendid. He is very happy in his choice of terms. + +Madame--Is he not? One understands at once--a subdued blue. +It describes it exactly. + +Her Friend--But apropos of this, you know that Ernestine has not forgiven +him his pleasantry of the other evening. + +Madame--How, of my husband? What pleasantry? The other evening when the +Abbe Gelon and the Abbe Brice were there? + +Her Friend--And his son, who was there also. + +Madame--What! the Abbe's son? (Both break into laughter.) + +Her Friend--But--ha! ha! ha!--what are you saying, ha! ha! you little +goose? + +Madame--I said the Abbe Gelon and the Abbe Brice, and you add, 'And his +son.' It is your fault, dear. He must be a choir-boy, that cherub. +(More laughter.) + +Her Friend--(placing her hand over hey mouth)--Be quiet, be quiet; it is +too bad; and in Lent, too! + +Madame--Well, but of whose son are you speaking? + +Her Friend--Of Ernestine's son, don't you know, Albert, a picture of +innocence. He heard your husband's pleasantry, and his mother was vexed. + +Madame--My dear, I really don't know to what you refer. Please tell me +all about it. + +Hey Friend--Well, on entering the drawing-room, and perceiving the +candelabra lit up, and the two Abbe's standing at that moment in the +middle of the room, your husband appeared as if looking for something, +and when Ernestine asked him what it was, he said aloud: "I am looking +for the holy-water; please, dear neighbor, excuse me for coming in the +middle of the service." + +Madame--Is it possible? (Laughing.) The fact is, he can not get out of +it; he has met the two Abbes, twice running, at Ernestine's. Her +drawing-room is a perfect sacristy. + +Hey Friend (dryly)--A sacristy! How regardless you are getting in your +language since your marriage, dear. + +Madame--Not more than before. I never cared to meet priests elsewhere +than at church. + +Her Friend--Come, you are frivolous, and if I did not know you better-- +but do you not like to meet the Abbe Gelon? + +Madame--Ah! the Abbe Gelon, that is quite different. He is charming. + +Her Friend--(briskly)--His manners are so distingue. + +Madame--And respectful. His white hair is such an admirable frame for +his pale face, which is so full of unction. + +Her Friend--Oh! yes, he has unction, and his looks--those sweetly +softened looks! The other day, when he was speaking on the mediation of +Christ, he was divine. At one moment he wiped away a tear; he was no +longer master of his emotions; but he grew calm almost immediately--his +power of self-command is marvellous; then he went on quietly, but the +emotion in turn had overpowered us. It was electrifying. The Countess +de S., who was near me, was bubbling like a spring, under her yellow +bonnet. + +Madame--Ah! yes, I have seen that yellow bonnet. What a sight that +Madame de S. is! + +Her Friend--The truth is, she is always dressed like an applewoman. A +bishopric has been offered these messieurs, I know, on good authority; my +husband had it from De l'Euvre. Well-- + +Madame--(interrupting her)--A bishopric offered to Madame de S. It was +wrong to do so. + +Her Friend--You make fun of everything, my dear; there are, however, some +subjects which should be revered. I tell you that the mitre and the ring +have been offered to the Abby Gelon. Well, he refused them. God knows, +however, that the pastoral ring would well become his hand. + +Madame--Oh! yes, he has a lovely hand. + +Her Friend--He has a white, slender, and aristocratic hand. Perhaps it +is a wrong for us to dwell on these worldly details, but after all his +hand is really beautiful. Do you know (enthusiastically) I find that the +Abbe Gelon compels love of religion? Were you ever present at his +lectures? + +Madame--I was at the first one. I would have gone again on Thursday, but +Madame Savain came to try on my bodice and I had a protracted discussion +with her about the slant of the skirts. + +Her Friend--Ah! the skirts are cut slantingly. + +Madame--Yes, yes, with little cross-bars, which is an idea of my own--I +have not seen it anywhere else; I think it will not look badly. + +Her Friend--Madame Savain told me that you had suppressed the shoulders +of the corsage. + +Madame--Ah! the gossip! Yes, I will have nothing on the shoulders but a +ribbon, a trifle, just enough to fasten a jewel to--I was afraid that the +corsage would look a little bare. Madame Savain had laid on, at +intervals, some ridiculous frippery. I wanted to try something else--my +plan of crossbars, there and then--and I missed the dear Abbe Gelon's +lecture. He was charming, it seems. + +Her Friend--Oh! charming. He spoke against bad books; there was a large +crowd. He demolished all the horrible opinions of Monsieur Renan. What +a monster that man is! + +Madame--You have read his book? + +Her Friend--Heaven forbid! Don't you know it is impossible for one to +find anything more--well, it must be very bad 'Messieurs de l'OEuvre' for +the Abbe Gelon, in speaking to one of these friends of my husband, +uttered the word---- + +Madame--Well, what word? + +Her Friend--I dare not tell you, for, really, if it is true it would make +one shudder. He said that it was (whispering in her ear) the Antichrist! +It makes one feel aghast, does it not! They sell his photograph; he has +a satanic look. (Looking at the clock.) Half-past two--I must run away; +I have given no orders about dinner. These three fast-days in the week +are to me martyrdom. One must have a little variety; my husband is very +fastidious. If we did not have water-fowl I should lose my head. How do +you get on, dear? + +Madame--Oh! with me it is very simple, provided I do not make my husband +leaner; he eats anything. You know, Augustus is not very much-- + +Her Friend--Not very much! I think that he is much too spare; for, after +all, if we do not in this life impose some privations upon ourselves--no, +that would be too easy. I hope, indeed, that you have a dispensation? + +Madame--Oh! yes, I am safe as to that. + +Her Friend--I have one, of course, for butter and eggs, as vice- +chancellor of the Association. The Abbe Gelon begged me to accept a +complete dispensation on account of my headaches, but I refused. Yes! +I refused outright. If one makes a compromise with one's principles-- +but then there are people who have no principles. + +Madame--If you mean that to apply to my husband, you are wrong. Augustus +is not a heathen--he has excellent principles. + +Her Friend--Excellent principles! You make my blood boil. But there, +I must go. Well, it is understood, I count upon you for Tuesday; he will +preach upon authority, a magnificent subject, and we may expect +allusions--Ah! I forgot to tell you; I am collecting and I expect your +mite, dear. I take as low a sum as a denier (the twelfth of a penny). +I have an idea of collecting with my little girl on my praying-stool. +Madame de K. collected on Sunday at St. Thomas's and her baby held the +alms-bag. The little Jesus had an immense success--immense! + +Madame--I must go now. How will you dress? + +Her Friend--Oh! for the present, quite simply and in black; you +understand. + +Madame--Besides, black becomes you so well. + +Her Friend--Yes, everything is for the best; black does not suit me at +all ill. Tuesday, then. But my dear, try to bring your husband, he +likes music so much. + +Madame--Well, I can not promise that. + +Her Fiend--Ah! mon Dieu! they are all like that, these men; they are +strong-minded, and when grace touches them, they look back on their past +life with horror. When my husband speaks of his youth, the tears come +into his eyes. I must tell you; that he has not always been as he is +now; he was a gay boy in his youth, poor fellow. I do not detest a man +because he knows life a little, do you? But I am gossiping and time +passes; I have a call to make yet on Madame W. I do not know whether she +has found her juvenile lead. + +Madame--What for, in Heaven's name? + +Her Friend--For her evening party. There are to be private theatricals +at her house, but for a pious object, you may be sure, during Lent; it is +so as to have a collection on behalf of the Association. I must fly. +Good-by, dear. + +Madame--Till Tuesday, dear; in full uniform? + +Her Friend--(smiling)--In full uniform. Kind regards to your reprobate. +I like him very much all the same. Good-by. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +A DREAM + +Sleeplessness is almost always to be traced to indigestion. My friend, +Dr. Jacques, is there and he will tell you so. + +Now, on that particular evening, it was last Friday, I had committed the +mistake of eating brill, a fish that positively disagrees with me. + +God grant that the account of the singular dream which ensued may inspire +you with some prudent reflections. + +Be that as it may, this was my dream, in all its extravagance. + +I had, in this dream, the honor to belong, as senior curate, to one of +the most frequented parish churches in Paris. What could be more +ridiculous! I was, moreover, respectably stout, possessed a head decked +with silver locks, well-shaped hands, an aquiline nose, great unction, +the friendship of the lady worshippers, and, I venture to add, the esteem +of the rector. + +While I was reciting the thanksgiving after service, and at the same time +unfastening the cords of my alb, the rector came up to me (I see him even +now) blowing his nose. + +"My dear friend," said he, "you hear confessions this evening, do you +not?" + +"Most certainly. Are you well this morning? I had a good congregation +at mass." + +Having said this, I finished my thanksgiving, put my alb into the +wardrobe, and, offering a pinch to the rector, added cheerily: + +"This is not breaking the fast, is it?" + +"Ha! ha! no, no, no! Besides, it wants five minutes to twelve and the +clock is slow." + +We took a pinch together and walked off arm in arm by the little side +door, for night sacraments, chatting in a friendly way. + +Suddenly I found myself transported into my confessional. The chapel was +full of ladies who all bowed at my approach. I entered my narrow box, +the key of which I had. I arranged on the seat the air-cushion which is +indispensable to me on the evenings preceding great church festivals, the +sittings at that season being always prolonged. I slipped the white +surplice which was hanging from a peg over my cassock, and, after +meditating for a moment, opened the little shutter that puts me in +communication with the penitents. + +I will not undertake to describe to you one by one the different people +who came and knelt before me. I will not tell you, for instance, how one +of them, a lady in black, with a straight nose, thin lips, and sallow +complexion, after reciting her Confiteor in Latin, touched me infinitely +by the absolute confidence she placed in me, though I was not of her sex. +In five minutes she found the opportunity to speak to me of her sister- +in-law, her brother, an uncle who was on the point of death whose heiress +she was, her nephews, and her servants; and I could perceive, despite the +tender benevolence that appeared in all her words, that she was the +victim of all these people. She ended by informing me she had a +marriageable daughter, and that her stomach was an obstacle to her +fasting. + +I can still see a throng of other penitents, but it would take too long +to tell you about them, and we will confine ourselves, with your +permission, to the last two, who, besides, impressed upon my memory +themselves particularly. + +A highly adorned little lady rushed into the confessional; she was brisk, +rosy, fresh. Despite her expression of deep thoughtfulness, she spoke +very quickly in a musical voice, and rattled through her Confiteor, +regardless of the sense. + +"Father," she said, "I have one thing that is troubling me." + +"Speak, my child; you know that a confessor is a father." + +"Well, father--but I really dare not." + +There are many of these timid little hearts that require to be +encouraged. I said, "Go on, my child, go on." + +"My husband," she murmured confusedly, "will not abstain during Lent. +Ought I to compel him, father?" + +"Yes, by persuasion." + +"But he says that he will go and dine at the restaurant if I do not let +him have any meat. Oh! I suffer terribly from that. Am I not assuming +the responsibility of all that meat, father?" + +This young wife really interested me; she had in the midst of one cheek, +toward the corner of the mouth, a small hollow, a kind of little dimple, +charming in the profane sense of the word, and giving a special +expression to her face. Her tiny white teeth glittered like pearls when +she opened her mouth to relate her pious inquietudes; she shed around, +besides, a perfume almost as sweet as that of our altars, although of a +different kind, and I breathed this perfume with an uneasiness full of +scruples, which for all that inclined me to indulgence. I was so close +to her that none of the details of her face escaped me; I could +distinguish, almost in spite of myself, even a little quiver of her left +eyebrow, tickled every now and again by a stray tress of her fair hair. + +"Your situation," I said, "is a delicate one; on one hand, your domestic +happiness, and on the other your duty as a Christian." She gave a sigh +from her very heart. "Well, my dear child, my age warrants my speaking +to you like that, does it not?" + +"Oh, yes, father." + +"Well, my dear child"--I fancy I noticed at that moment that she had at +the outer corner of her eyes a kind of dark mark something like an arrow +-head--"try, my dear child, to convince your husband, who in his heart--" +In addition, her lashes, very long and somewhat curled, were underlined, +I might almost say, by a dark streak expanding and shading off delicately +toward the middle of the eye. This physical peculiarity did not seem to +me natural, but an effect of premeditated coquetry. + +Strange fact, the verification of such weakness in this candid heart only +increased my compassion. I continued in a gentle tone: + +"Strive to bring your husband to God. Abstinence is not only a religious +observance, it is also a salutary custom. 'Non solum lex Dei, sed +etiam'. Have you done everything to bring back your husband?" + +"Yes, father, everything." + +"Be precise, my child; I must know all." + +"Well, father, I have tried sweetness and tenderness." + +I thought to myself that this husband must be a wretch. + +"I have implored him for the sake of our child," continued the little +angel, "not to risk his salvation and my own. Once or twice I even told +him that the spinach was dressed with gravy when it was not. Was I +wrong, father?" + +"There are pious falsehoods which the Church excuses, for in such cases +it only takes into consideration the intention and the greater glory of +God. I can not, therefore, say that you have done wrong. You have not, +have you, been guilty toward your husband of any of those excusable acts +of violence which may escape a Christian soul when it is struggling +against error? For it really is not natural that an honest man should +refuse to follow the prescription of the Church. Make a few concessions +at first." + +"I have, father, and perhaps too many," she said, contritely. + +"What do you mean?" + +"Hoping to bring him back to God, I accorded him favors which I ought to +have refused him. I may be wrong, but it seems to me that I ought to +have refused him." + +"Do not be alarmed, my dear child, everything depends upon degrees, and +it is necessary in these matters to make delicate distinctions." + +"That is what I say to myself, father, but my husband unites with his +kindness such a communicative gayety--he has such a graceful and natural +way of excusing his impiety--that I laugh in spite of myself when I ought +to weep. It seems to me that a cloud comes between myself and my duties, +and my scruples evaporate beneath the charm of his presence and his wit. +My husband has plenty of wit," she added, with a faint smile, in which +there was a tinge of pride. + +"Hum! hum!" (the blackness of this man's heart revolted me). "There is +no seductive shape that the tempter does not assume, my child. Wit in +itself is not to be condemned, although the Church shuns it as far as she +is concerned, looking upon it as a worldly ornament; but it may become +dangerous, it may be reckoned a veritable pest when it tends to weaken +faith. Faith, which is to the soul, I hardly need tell you, what the +bloom is to the peach, and--if I may so express myself, what the--dew is +--to the flower--hum, hum! Go on, my child." + +"But, father, when my husband has disturbed me for a moment, I soon +repent of it. He has hardly gone before I pray for him." + +"Good, very good." + +"I have sewn a blessed medal up in his overcoat." This was said more +boldly, though still with some timidity. + +"And have you noticed any result?" + +"In certain things he is better, yes, father, but as regards abstinence +he is still intractable," she said with embarrassment. + +"Do not be discouraged. We are in the holy period of Lent. Make use of +pious subterfuges, prepare him some admissible viands, but pleasant to +the taste." + +"Yes, father, I have thought of that. The day before yesterday I gave +him one of these salmon pasties that resemble ham." + +"Yes, yes, I know them. Well?" + +"Well, he ate the salmon, but he had a cutlet cooked afterward." + +"Deplorable!" I exclaimed, almost in spite of myself, so excessive did +the perversity of this man seem to me. "Patience, my child, offer up to +Heaven the sufferings which your husband's impiety causes you, and +remember that your efforts will be set down to you. You have nothing +more to tell me?" + +"No, father." + +"Collect yourself, then. I will give you absolution." + +The dear soul sighed as she joined her two little hands. + +Hardly had my penitent risen to withdraw when I abruptly closed my little +shutter and took a long pinch of snuff--snuff-takers know how much a +pinch soothes the mind--then having thanked God rapidly, I drew from the +pocket of my cassock my good old watch, and found that it was earlier +than I thought. The darkness of the chapel had deceived me, and my +stomach had shared my error. I was hungry. I banished these carnal +preoccupations from my mind, and after shaking my hands, on which some +grains of snuff had fallen, I slackened one of my braces that was +pressing a little on one shoulder, and opened my wicket. + +"Well, Madame, people should be more careful," said the penitent on my +left, addressing a lady of whom I could only see a bonnet-ribbon; "it is +excusable." + +My penitent's voice, which was very irritated, though restrained by +respect for the locality, softened as if by magic at the creaking of my +wicket. She knelt down, piously folded her two ungloved hands, plump, +perfumed, rosy, laden with rings--but let that pass. I seemed to +recognize the hands of the Countess de B., a chosen soul, whom I had the +honor to visit frequently, especially on Saturday, when there is always a +place laid for me at her table. + +She raised her little lace veil and I saw that I was not mistaken. It +was the Countess. She smiled at me as at a person with whom she was +acquainted, but with perfect propriety; she seemed to be saying, "Good- +day, my dear Abbe, I do not ask how your rheumatism is, because at this +moment you are invested with a sacred character, but I am interested in +it all the same." + +This little smile was irreproachable. I replied by a similar smile, and +I murmured in a very low tone, giving her, too, to understand by the +expression of my face that I was making a unique concession in her favor, +"Are you quite well, dear Madame?" + +"Thanks, father, I am quite well." Her voice had resumed an angelic +tone. "But I have just been in a passion." + +"And why? Perhaps you have taken for a passion what was really only a +passing moment of temper?" + +It does not do to alarm penitents. + +"Ah! not at all, it was really a passion, father. My dress had just +been torn from top to bottom; and really it is strange that one should be +exposed to such mishaps on approaching the tribunal of----" + +"Collect yourself, my dear Madame, collect yourself," and assuming a +serious look I bestowed my benediction upon her. + +The Countess sought to collect herself, but I saw very well that her +troubled spirit vainly strove to recover itself. By a singular +phenomenon I could see into her brain, and her thoughts appeared to me +one after the other. She was saying to herself, "Let me collect myself; +our Father, give me grace to collect myself," but the more effort she +made to restrain her imagination the more it became difficult to restrain +and slipped through her fingers. "I had made a serious examination of my +conscience, however," she added. "Not ten minutes ago as I was getting +out of my carriage I counted up three sins; there was one above all I +wished to mention. How these little things escape me! I must have left +them in the carriage." And she could not help smiling to herself at the +idea of these three little sins lost among the cushions. "And the poor +Abbe waiting for me in his box. How hot it must be in there! he is +quite red. Good Heavens! how shall I begin? I can not invent faults? +It is that torn dress which has upset me. And there is Louise, who is to +meet me at five o'clock at the dressmaker's. It is impossible for me to +collect myself. O God, do not turn away your face from me, and you, +Lord, who can read in my soul--Louise will wait till a quarter past five; +besides, the bodice fits--there is only the skirt to try on. And to +think that I had three sins only a minute ago." + +All these different thoughts, pious and profane, were struggling together +at once in the Countess's brain, so that I thought the moment had come to +interfere and help her a little. + +"Come," I said, in a paternal voice, leaning forward benevolently and +twisting my snuff-box in my fingers. "Come, my dear Madame, and speak +fearlessly; have you nothing to reproach yourself with? Have you had no +impulses of--worldly coquetry, no wish to dazzle at the expense of your +neighbor?" + +I had a vague idea that I should not be contradicted. + +"Yes, father," she said, smoothing down her bonnet strings, "sometimes; +but I have always made an effort to drive away such thoughts." + +"That good intention in some degree excuses you, but reflect and see how +empty are these little triumphs of vanity, how unworthy of a truly poor +soul and how they draw it aside from salvation. I know that there are +certain social exigencies--society. Yes, yes, but after all one can even +in those pleasures which the Church tolerates--I say tolerates--bring to +bear that perfume of good-will toward one's neighbor of which the +Scriptures speak, and which is the appanage--in some degree . . . the +glorious appanage. Yes, yes, go on." + +"Father, I have not been able to resist certain temptations to gluttony." + +"Again, again! Begin with yourself. You are here at the tribunal of +penitence; well, promise God to struggle energetically against these +little carnal temptations, which are not in themselves serious sins--oh! +no, I know it--but, after all, these constant solicitations prove a +persistent attachment--displeasing to Him--to the fugitive and deceitful +delights of this world. Hum, hum! and has this gluttony shown itself by +more blameworthy actions than usual--is it simply the same as last +month?" + +"The same as last month, father." + +"Yes, yes, pastry between meals," I sighed gravely. + +"Yes, father, and almost always a glass of Capri or of Syracuse after +it." + +"Or of Syracuse after it. Well, let that pass, let that pass." + +I fancied that the mention of this pastry and those choice wines was +becoming a source of straying thoughts on my part, for which I mentally +asked forgiveness of heaven. + +"What else do you recall?" I asked, passing my hand over my face. + +"Nothing else, father; I do not recollect anything else." + +"Well let a sincere repentance spring up in your heart for the sins you +have just admitted, and for those which you may have forgotten; commune +with yourself, humble yourself in the presence of the great act you have +just accomplished. I will give you absolution. Go in peace." + +The Countess rose, smiled at me with discreet courtesy, and, resuming her +ordinary voice, said in a low tone, "Till Saturday evening, then?" + +I bowed as a sign of assent, but felt rather embarrassed on account of my +sacred character. + + + + +CHAPTER VII + +AN EMBASSY BALL + +"Don't say that it is not pretty," added my aunt, brushing the firedog +with the tip of her tiny boot. "It lends an especial charm to the look, +I must acknowledge. A cloud of powder is most becoming, a touch of rouge +has a charming effect, and even that blue shadow that they spread, I +don't know how, under the eye. What coquettes some women are! Did you +notice Anna's eyes at Madame de Sieurac's last Thursday? Is it +allowable? Frankly, can you understand how any one can dare?" + +"Well, aunt, I did not object to those eyes, and between ourselves they +had a softness." + +"I do not deny that, they had a softness." + +"And at the same time such a strange brilliancy beneath that half shadow, +an expression of such delicious languor." + +"Yes, certainly, but, after all, it is making an exhibition of one's +self. But for that--it is very pretty sometimes--I have seen in the Bois +charming creatures under their red, their black, and their blue, for they +put on blue too, God forgive me!" + +"Yes, aunt, Polish blue; it is put on with a stump; it is for the veins." + +With interest: "They imitate veins! It is shocking, upon my word. But +you seem to know all about it?" + +"Oh, I have played so often in private theatricals; I have even quite a +collection of little pots of color, hare's-feet stumps, pencils, et +cetera." + +"Ah! you have, you rascal! Are you going to the fancy ball at the +Embassy to-morrow?" + +"Yes, aunt; and you, are you going in character?" + +"One must, since every one else will. They say the effect will be +splendid." After a silence: "I shall wear powder; do you think it will +suit me?" + +"Better than any one, my dear aunt; you will look adorable, I feel +certain." + +"We shall see, you little courtier." + +She rose, gave me her hand to kiss with an air of exquisite grace, and +seemed about to withdraw, then, seemingly changing her mind: + +"Since you are going to the Embassy to-morrow, Ernest, call for me; I +will give you a seat in the carriage. You can give me your opinion on my +costume, and then," she broke into a laugh, and taking me by the hand, +added in my ear: "Bring your little pots and come early. This is between +ourselves." She put her finger to her lip as a signal for discretion. +"Till tomorrow, then." + + +The following evening my aunt's bedroom presented a spectacle of most +wild disorder. + +Her maid and the dressmaker, with haggard eyes, for they had been up all +night, were both on their knees, rummaging amidst the bows of satin, and +feverishly sticking in pins. + +"How late you are," said my aunt to me. "Do you know that it is eleven +o'clock? and we have," she continued, showing her white teeth, "a great +many things to do yet. The horses have been put to this last hour. I am +sure they will take cold in that icy courtyard." As she spoke she +stretched out her foot, shod with a red-heeled slipper, glittering with +gold embroidery. Her plump foot seemed to overflow the side of the shoe +a trifle, and through the openwork of her bright silk stocking the rosy +skin of her ankle showed at intervals. + +"What do you think of me, Monsieur Artist?" + +"But, Countess, my dear aunt, I mean, I--I am dazzled by this July sun, +the brightest of all the year, you know. You are adorable, adorable--and +your hair!" + +"Is it not well arranged? Silvani did it; he has not his equal, that +man. The diamonds in the hair go splendidly, and then this lofty style +of head-dressing gives a majestic turn to the neck. I do not know +whether you are aware that I have always been a coquette as regards my +neck; it is my only bit of vanity. Have you brought your little color- +pots?" + +"Yes, aunt, I have the whole apparatus, and if you will sit down--" + +"I am frightfully pale-just a little, Ernest; you know what I told you," +and she turned her head, presenting her right eye to me. I can still see +that eye. + +I do not know what strange perfume, foreign to aunts in general, rose +from her garments. + +"You understand, my dear boy, that it is only an occasion like the +present, and the necessities of a historical costume, that make me +consent to paint like this." + +"My dear little aunt, if you move, my hand will shake." And, indeed, in +touching her long lashes, my hand trembled. + +"Ah! yes, in the corner, a little--you are right, it gives a softness, +a vagueness, a--it is very funny, that little pot of blue. How ugly it +must be! How things lead on one to another! Once one's hair is +powdered, one must have a little pearl powder on one's face in order not +to look as yellow as an orange; and one's cheeks once whitened, one +can't--you are tickling me with your brush--one can't remain like a +miller, so a touch of rouge is inevitable. And then--see how wicked it +is--if, after all that, one does not enlarge the eyes a bit, they look as +if they had been bored with a gimlet, don't they? It is like this that +one goes on little by little, till one comes to the gallows." + +My aunt began to laugh freely, as she studied her face. + +"Ah! that is very effective what you have just done--well under the eye, +that's it. What animation it gives to the look! How clever those +creatures are, how well they know everything that becomes one! It is +shameful, for with them it is a trick, nothing more. Oh! you may put on +a little more of that blue of yours, I see what it does now. It has a +very good effect. How you are arching the eyebrows. Don't you think it +is a little too black? You know I should not like to look as if--you are +right, though. Where did you learn all that? You might earn a deal of +money, do you know, if you set up a practice." + +"Well, aunt, are you satisfied?" + +My aunt held her hand-glass at a distance, brought it near, held it away +again, smiled, and, leaning back in her chair, said: "It must be +acknowledged that it is charming, this. What do your friends call it?" + +"Make-up, aunt." + +"It is vexatious that it has not another name, for really I shall have +recourse to it for the evening--from time to time. It is certain that it +is attractive. Haven't you a little box for the lips?" + +"Here it is." + +"Ah! in a bottle, it is liquid." + +"It is a kind of vinegar, as you see. Don't move, aunt. Put out your +lips as if you wished to kiss me. You don't by chance want to?" + +"Yes, and you deserve it. You will teach me your little accomplishments, +will you not?" + +"Willingly, aunt." + +"Your vinegar is miraculous! what brightness it gives to the lips, and +how white one's teeth look. It is true my teeth were always--" + +"Another of your bits of vanity." + +"It is done, then. Thank you." She smiled at me mincingly, for the +vinegar stung her lips a little. + +With her moistened finger she took a patch which she placed with charming +coquetry under her eye, and another which she placed near the corner of +her mouth, and then, radiant and adorable, exclaimed: "Hide away your +little color-pots; I hear your uncle coming for me. Clasp my bracelets +for me. Midnight! O my poor horses!" + +At that moment my uncle entered in silk shorts and a domino. + +"I hope I do not intrude," said he, gayly, on seeing me. + +"What nonsense!" said my aunt, turning toward him. "Ernest is going to +the Embassy, like ourselves, and I have offered him a seat in the +carriage." + +At the aspect of my aunt, my uncle, dazzled, held out his gloved hand to +her, saying, "You are enchanting this evening, my dear." Then, with a +sly smile, "Your complexion has a fine brightness, and your eyes have a +wonderful brilliancy." + +"Oh, it is the fire they have been making up--it is stifling here. But +you, my dear, you look splendid; I have never seen your beard so black." + +"It is because I am so pale--I am frozen. Jean forgot to look after my +fire at all, and it went out. Are you ready?" + +My aunt smiled in turn as she took up her fan. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII + +MY AUNT AS VENUS + +Since that day when I kissed Madame de B. right on the centre of the +neck, as she held out her forehead to me, there has crept into our +intercourse an indescribable, coquettish coolness, which is nevertheless +by no means unpleasant. The matter of the kiss has never been completely +explained. It happened just as I left Saint-Cyr. I was full of ardor, +and the cravings of my heart sometimes blinded me. I say that they +sometimes blinded me; I repeat, blinded me, and this is true, for really +I must have been possessed to have kissed my aunt on the neck as I did +that day. But let that pass. + +It was not that she was hardly worth it; my little auntie, as I used to +call her then, was the prettiest woman in the world--coquettish, elegant; +and what a foot! and, above all, that delightful little--I don't know +what--which is so fashionable now, and which tempts one always to say too +much. + +When I say that I must have been possessed, it is because I think of the +consequences to which that kiss might have led. Her husband, General de +B., being my direct superior, it might have got me into a very awkward +position; besides, there is the respect due to one's family. Oh, I have +never failed in that. + +But I do not know why I am recalling all these old recollections, which +have nothing in common with what I am about to relate to you. My +intention was simply to tell you that since my return from Mexico I go +pretty frequently to Madame de B.'s, as perhaps you do also, for she +keeps up a rather good establishment, receives every Monday evening, +and there is usually a crowd of people at her house, for she is very +entertaining. There is no form of amusement that she does not resort to +in order to keep up her reputation as a woman of fashion. I must own, +however, that I had never seen anything at her house to equal what I saw +last Monday. + +I was in the ante-room, where the footman was helping me off with my top- +coat, when Jean, approaching me with a suspicion of mystery, said: "My +mistress expects to see you immediately, Monsieur, in her bedroom. If +you will walk along the passage and knock at the door at the end, you +will find her." + +When one has just returned from the other side of the world, such words +sound queer. The old affair of the kiss recurred to me in spite of +myself. What could my aunt want with me? + +I tapped quietly at the door, and heard at once an outburst of stifled +laughter. + +"Wait a moment," exclaimed a laughing voice. + +"I won't be seen in this state," whispered another--"Yes"--"No"--"You are +absurd, my dear, since it is an affair of art."--" Ha, ha, ha." And they +laughed and laughed again. + +At last a voice cried, "Come in," and I turned the handle. + +At first glance I could only make out a confused chaos, impossible to +describe, amidst which my aunt was bustling about clad in pink fleshings. +Clad, did I say?--very airily. + +The furniture, the carpet, the mantel-piece were encumbered, almost +buried under a heterogeneous mass of things. Muslin petticoats, tossed +down haphazard, pieces of lace, a cardboard helmet covered with gilt +paper, open jewel-cases, bows of ribbon; curling-tongs, half hidden in +the ashes; and on every side little pots, paint-brushes, odds and ends of +all kinds. Behind two screens, which ran across the room, I could hear +whisperings, and the buzzing sound peculiar to women dressing themselves. +In one corner Silvani--the illustrious Silvani, still wearing the large +white apron he assumes when powdering his clients--was putting away his +powder-puff and turning down his sleeves with a satisfied air. I stood +petrified. What was going on at my aunt's? + +She discovered my astonishment, and without turning round she said in +agitated tones: + +"Ah! is it you, Ernest?" Then as if making up her mind, she broke into a +hearty burst of laughter, like all women who have good teeth, and added, +with a slightly superior air, "You see, we are having private +theatricals." + +Then turning toward me with her elegant coiffure powdered to excess, I +could see that her face was painted like that of a priestess of +antiquity. That gauze, that atmosphere, redolent with feminine perfumes, +and behind those screens-behind those screens! + +"Women in society," I said to myself, looking about me, "must be mad to +amuse themselves in this fashion." + +"And what piece are you going to play, aunt, in such an attractive +costume?" + +"Good evening, Captain," called out a laughing voice from behind the +screen on the right. + +"We were expecting you," came from behind the screen on the left. + +"Good evening, ladies; what can I do for you?" + +"It is not a play," observed my aunt, modestly drawing together her sea- +weed draperies. "How behind the age you are, to think that any one plays +set-pieces nowadays. It is not a piece, it is a 'tableau vivant', 'The +judgment of Paris.' You know 'The Judgment of Paris'? I take the part +of Venus--I did not want to, but they all urged me--give me a pin--on the +mantelpiece--near the bag of bonbons--there to the left, next to the +jewel-case--close by the bottle of gum standing on my prayer-book. Can't +you see? Ah! at last. In short, the knife to my throat to compel me to +play Venus." + +Turning to the screen on the right she said: "Pass me the red for the +lips, dear; mine are too pale." To the hairdresser, who is making his +way to the door: "Silvani, go to the gentlemen who are dressing in the +billiard-room, and in the Baron's dressing-room, they perhaps may need +you. Madame de S. and her daughters are in the boudoir--ah! see whether +Monsieur de V. has found his apple again--he plays Paris," added my aunt, +turning toward me once more; "the apple must not be lost--well, dear, and +that red for the lips I asked you for? Pass it to the Captain over the +screen." + +"Here it is; but make haste, Captain, my cuirass cracks as soon as I +raise my arm." + +I descried above the screen two slender fingers, one of which, covered +with glittering rings, held in the air a little pot without a cover. + +"What,--is your cuirass cracking, Marchioness?" + +"Oh! it will do, but make haste and take it, Captain." + +"You may think it strange, but I tremble like a leaf," exclaimed my aunt. +"I am afraid of being ill. Do you hear the gentlemen who are dressing in +there in the Baron's dressing room? What a noise! Ha! ha! ha! it is +charming, a regular gang of strollers. It is exhilarating, do you know, +this feverish existence, this life in front of the footlights. But, for +the love of Heaven, shut the door, Marie, there is a frightful draught +blowing on me. This hourly struggle with the public, the hisses, the +applause, would, with my impressionable nature, drive me mad, I am sure." + +The old affair of the kiss recurred to me and I said to myself, "Captain, +you misunderstood the nature of your relative." + +"But that is not the question at all," continued my aunt; "ten o'clock is +striking. Ernest, can you apply liquid white? As you are rather +experienced--" + +"Rather--ha! ha! ha!" said some one behind the screen. + +"On the whole," continued the Baroness, "it would be very singular if, in +the course of your campaigns, you had never seen liquid white applied." + +"Yes, aunt, I have some ideas; yes, I have some ideas about liquid white, +and by summoning together all my recollections--" + +"Is it true, Captain, that it causes rheumatism?" + +"No, not at all; have a couple of logs put on the fire and give me the +stuff." + +So saying, I turned up my sleeves and poured some of the "Milk of Beauty" +into a little onyx bowl that was at hand, then I dipped a little sponge +into it, and approached my Aunt Venus with a smile. + +"You are sure that it has no effect on the skin--no, I really dare not." +As she said this she looked as prim as a vestal. "It is the first time, +do you know, that I ever used this liquid white, ah! ah! ah! What a +baby I am! I am all in a shiver." + +"But, my dear, you are foolish," exclaimed the lady of the screen, +breaking into a laugh; "when one acts one must submit to the exigencies +of the footlights." + +"You hear, aunt? Come, give me your arm." + +She held out her full, round arm, on the surface of which was spread that +light and charming down, symbol of maturity. I applied the wet sponge. + +"Oh! oh! oh!" exclaimed the Baroness; "it is like ice, a regular shower- +bath, and you want to put that all over me?" + +Just then there was a knock at the door which led out of the Baron's +dressing-room, and instinctively I turned toward it. + +"Who's there? Oh! you are letting it splutter all over me!" exclaimed +the Baroness. "You can't come in; what is it?" + +"What is the matter, aunt?" + +"You can't come in," exclaimed some one behind the screen; "my cuirass +has split. Marie, Rosine, a needle and thread, the gum." + +"Oh! there is a stream all down my back, your horrid white is running +down," said the Baroness, in a rage. + +"I will wipe it. I am really very sorry." + +"Can you get your hand down my back, do you think?" + +"Why not, aunt?" + +"Why not, why not! Because where there is room for a drop of water, +there is not room for the hand of a lancer." + +Another knock, this time at the door opening from the passage. + +"What is it now?" + +"The torches have come, Madame," said a footman. "Will you have them +lighted?" + +"Ah! the torches of Mesdemoiselles de N., who are dressing in the +boudoir. No, certainly not, do not light them, they are not wanted till +the second tableau." + +"Do not stir, aunt, I beg of you. Mesdemoiselles de N. appears too, +then?" + +"Yes, with their mamma; they represent 'The Lights of Faith driving out +Unbelief,' thus they naturally require torches. You know, they are tin +tubes with spirits of wine which blazes up. It will be, perhaps, the +prettiest tableau of the evening. It is an indirect compliment we wish +to pay to the Cardinal's nephew; you know the dark young man with very +curly hair and saintly eyes; you saw him last Monday. He is in high +favor at court. The Comte de Geloni was kind enough to promise to come +this evening, and then Monsieur de Saint P. had the idea of this +tableau. His imagination is boundless, Monsieur de Saint P., not to +mention his good taste, if he would not break his properties." + +"Is he not also a Chevalier of the Order of Saint Gregory?" + +"Yes, and, between ourselves, I think that he would not be sorry to +become an officer in it." + +"Ah! I understand, 'The Lights of Faith driving out,' et cetera. But +tell me, aunt, am I not brushing you too hard? Lift up your arm a +little, please. Tell me who has undertaken the part of Unbelief?" + +"Don't speak of it, it is quite a history. As it happened, the casting +of the parts took place the very evening on which his Holiness's +Encyclical was published, so that the gentlemen were somewhat excited. +Monsieur de Saint P. took high ground, really very high ground; indeed, +I thought for a moment that the General was going to flare out. In +short, no one would have anything to do with Unbelief, and we had to have +recourse to the General's coachman, John--you know him? He is a good- +looking fellow; he is a Protestant, moreover, so that the part is not a +novel one to him." + +"No matter, it will be disagreeable for the De N.'s to appear side by +side with a servant." + +"Come! such scruples must not be carried too far; he is smeared over with +black and lies stretched on his face, while the three ladies trample on +him, so you see that social proprieties are observed after all. Come, +have you done yet? My hair is rather a success, is it not? Silvani is +the only man who understands how to powder one. He wanted to dye it red, +but I prefer to wait till red hair has found its way a little more into +society." + +"There; it is finished, aunt. Is it long before you have to go on?" + +"No. Good Heavens, it is close on eleven o'clock! The thought of +appearing before all these people--don't the flowers drooping from my +head make my neck appear rather awkward, Ernest? Will you push them up +a little?" + +Then going to the door of the dressing-room she tapped at it gently, +saying, "Are you ready, Monsieur de V.?" + +"Yes, Baroness, I have found my apple, but I am horribly nervous. Are +Minerva and Juno dressed? Oh! I am nervous to a degree you have no idea +of." + +"Yes, yes, every one is ready; send word to the company in the drawing- +room. My poor heart throbs like to burst, Captain." + + + + +CHAPTER IX + +HUSBAND AND WIFE + + +MY DEAR SISTERS: + +Marriage, as it is now understood, is not exactly conducive to love. +In this I do not think that I am stating an anomaly. Love in marriage +is, as a rule, too much at his ease; he stretches himself with too great +listlessness in armchairs too well cushioned. He assumes the +unconstrained habits of dressing-gown and slippers; his digestion goes +wrong, his appetite fails and of an evening, in the too-relaxing warmth +of a nest, made for him, he yawns over his newspaper, goes to sleep, +snores, and pines away. It is all very well, my sisters, to say, "But +not at all--but how can it be, Father Z.?--you know nothing about it, +reverend father." + +I maintain that things are as I have stated, and that at heart you are +absolutely of my opinion. Yes, your poor heart has suffered very often; +there are nights during which you have wept, poor angel, vainly awaiting +the dream of the evening before. + +"Alas!" you say, "is it then all over? One summer's day, then thirty +years of autumn, to me, who am so fond of sunshine." That is what you +have thought. + +But you say nothing, not knowing what you should say. Lacking self- +confidence and ignorant of yourself, you have made it a virtue to keep +silence and not wake your husband while he sleeps; you have got into the +habit of walking on the tips of your toes so as not to disturb the +household, and your husband, in the midst of this refreshing half-sleep, +has begun to yawn luxuriously; then he has gone out to his club, where he +has been received like the prodigal son, while you, poor poet without pen +or ink, have consoled yourself by watching your sisters follow the same +road as yourself. + +You have, all of you, ladies, your pockets full of manuscripts, charming +poems, delightful romances; it is a reader who is lacking to you, and +your husband takes up his hat and stick at the very sight of your +handwriting; he firmly believes that there are no more romances except +those already in print. From having read so many, he considers that no +more can be written. + +This state of things I regard as absolutely detestable. I look upon you, +my dear sisters, as poor victims, and if you will permit I will give you +my opinion on the subject. + +Esteem and friendship between husband and wife are like our daily bread, +very pleasant and respectable; but a little jam would not spoil that, you +will admit! If, therefore, one of your friends complains of the freedom +that reigns in this little book, let her talk on and be sure beforehand +that this friend eats dry bread. We have described marriage as we think +it should be--depicting smiling spouses, delighted to be together. + +Is it because love is rare as between husband and wife that it is +considered unbecoming to relate its joys? Is it regret, or envy, that +renders you fastidious on the subject, sisters? Reserve your blushes for +the pictures of that society of courtesans where love is an article of +commerce, where kisses are paid for in advance. Regard the relation of +these coarse pleasures as immodest and revolting, be indignant, scold +your brethren--I will admit that you are in the right beforehand; but for +Heaven's sake do not be offended if we undertake your defence, when we +try to render married life pleasant and attractive, and advise husbands +to love their wives, wives to love their husbands. + +You must understand that there is a truly moral side to all this. To +prove that you are adorable; that there are pleasures, joys, happiness, +to be found outside the society of those young women--such is our object; +and since we are about to describe it, we venture to hope that after +reflecting for a few minutes you will consider our intentions +praiseworthy, and encourage us to persevere in them. + +I do not know why mankind has chosen to call marriage a man-trap, and all +sorts of frightful things; to stick up all round it boards on which one +reads: "Beware of the sacred ties of marriage;" "Do not jest with the +sacred duties of a husband;" "Meditate on the sacred obligation of a +father of a family;" "Remember that the serious side of life is +beginning;" "No weakness; henceforth you are bound to find yourself face +to face with stern reality," etc., etc. + +I will not say that it is imprudent to set forth all those fine things; +but when done it should be done with less affectation. To warn people +that there are thorns in the path is all very well; but, hang it! there +is something else in married life, something that renders these duties +delightful, else this sacred position and these ties would soon be +nothing more than insupportable burdens. One would really think that to +take to one's self a pretty little wife, fresh in heart and pure in mind, +and to condemn one's self to saw wood for the rest of one's days, were +one and the same thing. + +Well, my dear sisters, have you any knowledge of those who have painted +the picture in these gloomy colors and described as a punishment that +which should be a reward? They are the husbands with a past and having +rheumatism. Being weary and--how shall I put it?--men of the world, +they choose to represent marriage as an asylum, of which you are to be +the angels. No doubt to be an angel is very nice, but, believe me, it is +either too much or too little. Do not seek to soar so high all at once, +but, instead, enter on a short apprenticeship. It will be time enough to +don the crown of glory when you have no longer hair enough to dress in +any other fashion. + +But, O husbands with a past! do you really believe that your own angelic +quietude and the studied austerity of your principles are taken for +anything else than what they really mean--exhaustion? + +You wish to rest; well and good; but it is wrong in you to wish everybody +else about you to rest too; to ask for withered trees and faded grass in +May, the lamps turned down and the lamp-shades doubled; to require one to +put water in the soup and to refuse one's self a glass of claret; to look +for virtuous wives to be highly respectable and somewhat wearisome +beings; dressing neatly, but having had neither poetry, youth, gayety, +nor vague desires; ignorant of everything, undesirous of learning +anything; helpless, thanks to the weighty virtues with which you have +crammed them; above all, to ask of these poor creatures to bless your +wisdom, caress your bald forehead, and blush with shame at the echo of a +kiss. + +The deuce! but that is a pretty state of things for marriage to come to. + +Delightful institution! How far are your sons, who are now five-and- +twenty years of age, in the right in being afraid of it! Have they not a +right to say to you, twirling their moustaches: + +"But, my dear father, wait a bit; I am not quite ripe for it!" + +"Yes; but it is a splendid match, and the young lady is charming." + +"No doubt, but I feel that I should not make her happy. I am not old +enough--indeed, I am not." + +And when the young man is seasoned for it, how happy she will be, poor +little thing!--a ripe husband, ready to fall from the tree, fit to be put +away in the apple-loft! What happiness! a good husband, who the day +after his marriage will piously place his wife in a niche and light a +taper in front of her; then take his hat and go off to spend elsewhere a +scrap of youth left by chance at the bottom of his pocket. + +Ah! my good little sisters who are so very much shocked and cry "Shame!" +follow our reasoning a little further. It is all very well that you +should be treated like saints, but do not let it be forgotten that you +are women, and, listen to me, do not forget it yourselves. + +A husband, majestic and slightly bald, is a good thing; a young husband +who loves you and eats off the same plate is better. If he rumples your +dress a little, and imprints a kiss, in passing, on the back of your +neck, let him. When, on coming home from a ball, he tears out the pins, +tangles the strings, and laughs like a madman, trying to see whether you +are ticklish, let him. Do not cry "Murder!" if his moustache pricks +you, but think that it is all because at heart he loves you well. He +worships your virtues; is it surprising hence that he should cherish +their outward coverings? No doubt you have a noble soul; but your body +is not therefore to be despised; and when one loves fervently, one loves +everything at the same time. Do not be alarmed if in the evening, when +the fire is burning brightly and you are chatting gayly beside it, he +should take off one of your shoes and stockings, put your foot on his +lap, and in a moment of forgetfulness carry irreverence so far as to kiss +it; if he likes to pass your large tortoise-shell comb through your hair, +if he selects your perfumes, arranges your plaits, and suddenly exclaims, +striking his forehead: "Sit down there, darling; I have an idea how to +arrange a new coiffure." + +If he turns up his sleeves and by chance tangles your curls, where really +is the harm? Thank Heaven if in the marriage which you have hit upon you +find a laughing, joyous side; if in your husband you find the loved +reader of the pretty romance you have in your pocket; if, while wearing +cashmere shawls and costly jewels in your ears, you find the joys of a +real intimacy--that is delicious! In short, reckon yourself happy if in +your husband you find a lover. + +But before accepting my theories, ladies, although in your heart and +conscience you find them perfect, you will have several little prejudices +to overcome; above all, you will have to struggle against your education, +which is deplorable, as I have already said, but that is no great matter. +Remember that under the pretext of education you have been stuffed, my +dear sisters. You have been varnished too soon, like those pictures +painted for sales, which crack all over six months after purchase. Your +disposition has not been properly directed; you are not cultivated; you +have been stifled, pruned; you have been shaped like those yew-trees at +Versailles which represent goblets and birds. Still, you are women at +the bottom, though you no longer look it. + +You are handed over to us men swaddled, distorted, stuffed with +prejudices and principles, heavy as paving-stones; all of which are the +more difficult to dislodge since you look upon them as sacred; you are +started on the matrimonial journey with so much luggage reckoned as +indispensable; and at the first station your husband, who is not an +angel, loses his temper amidst all these encumbrances, sends it all to +the devil under some pretext or other, lets you go on alone, and gets +into another carriage. I do not require, mark me, that you should be +allowed to grow up uncared for, that good or evil instincts should be +suffered to spring up in you anyhow: but it were better that they should +not treat your poor mind like the foot of a well-born Chinese girl--that +they should not enclose it in a porcelain slipper. + +A marriageable young lady is a product of maternal industry, which takes +ten years to fructify, and needs from five to six more years of study on +the part of the husband to purify, strip, and restore to its real shape. +In other words, it takes ten years to make a bride and six years at least +to turn this bride into a woman again. Admit frankly that this is time +lost as regards happiness, but try to make it up if your husband will +permit you to do so. + +The sole guaranty of fidelity between husband and wife is love. One +remains side by side with a fellow-traveller only so long as one +experiences pleasure and happiness in his company. Laws, decrees, oaths, +may prevent faithlessness, or at least punish it, but they can neither +hinder nor punish intention. But as regards love, intention and deed are +the same. + +Is it not true, my dear sisters, that you are of this opinion? Do not +you thoroughly understand that if love is absent from marriage it should, +on the contrary, be its real pivot? To make one's self lovable is the +main thing. Believe my white hairs that it is so, and let me give you +some more advice. + +Yes, I favor marriage--I do not conceal it--the happy marriage in which +we cast into the common lot our ideas and our sorrows, as well as our +good-humor and our affections. Suppress, by all means, in this +partnership, gravity and affectation, yet add a sprinkling of gallantry +and good-fellowship. Preserve even in your intimacy that coquetry you so +readily assume in society. Seek to please your husband. Be amiable. +Consider that your husband is an audience, whose sympathy you must +conquer. + +In your manner of loving mark those shades, those feminine delicacies, +which double the price of things. Do not be miserly, but remember that +the manner in which one gives adds to the value of the gift; or rather do +not give--make yourself sought after. Think of those precious jewels +that are arranged with such art in their satin-lined jewel-case; never +forget the case. Let your nest be soft, let your presence be felt in all +its thousand trifles. Put a little of yourself into the ordering of +everything. Be artistic, delicate, and refined--you can do so without +effort--and let your husband perceive in everything that surrounds him, +from the lace on the curtains to the perfume that you use, a wish on your +part to please him. + +Do not say to him, "I love you"; that phrase may perhaps recall to him a +recollection or two. But lead him on to say to you, "You do love me, +then?" and answer "No," but with a little kiss which means "Yes." Make +him feel beside you the present to be so pleasant that the past will fade +from his memory; and to this end let nothing about you recall that past, +for, despite himself, he would never forgive it in you. Do not imitate +the women whom he may have known, nor their head-dresses or toilettes; +that would tend to make him believe he has not changed his manner of +life. You have in yourself another kind of grace, another wit, another +coquetry, and above all that rejuvenescence of heart and mind which those +women have never had. You have an eagerness in life, a need of +expansion, a freshness of impression which are--though perhaps you may +not imagine it--irresistible charms. Be yourselves throughout, and you +will be for this loved spouse a novelty, a thousand times more charming +in his eyes than all the bygones possible. Conceal from him neither your +inclinations nor your inexperience, your childish joys or your childish +fears; but be as coquettish with all these as you are of the features of +your face, of your fine, black eyes and your long, fair hair. + +Nothing is more easily acquired than a little adroitness; do not throw +yourself at his head, and always have confidence in yourself. + +Usually, a man marries when he thinks himself ruined; when he feels in +his waistcoat pocket--not a louis--he is then seasoned; he goes at once +before the registrar. But let me tell you, sisters, he is still rich. +He has another pocket of which he knows nothing, the fool! and which is +full of gold. It is for you to act so that he shall find it out and be +grateful to you for the happiness he has had in finding a fortune. + +I will sum up, at once, as time is flying and I should not like you to be +late for dinner. For Heaven's sake, ladies, tear from the clutches of +the women, whose toilettes you do very wrong in imitating, your husbands' +affections. Are you not more refined, more sprightly, than they? Do for +him whom you love that which these women do for all the world; do not +content yourselves with being virtuous--be attractive, perfume your hair, +nurture illusion as a rare plant in a golden vase. Cultivate a little +folly when practicable; put away your marriage-contract arid look at it +only once in ten years; love one another as if you had not sworn to do +so; forget that there are bonds, contracts, pledges; banish from your +mind the recollection of the Mayor and his scarf. Sometimes when you are +alone fancy that you are only sweethearts; sister, is not that what you +eagerly desire? + +Ah! let candor and youth flourish. Let us love and laugh while spring +blossoms. Let us love our babies, the little dears, and kiss our wives. +Yes, that is moral and healthy; the world is not a shivering convent, +marriage is not a tomb. Shame on those who find in it only sadness, +boredom, and sleep. + +My sisters, my sisters, strive to be real; that is the blessing I wish +you. + + + + +CHAPTER X + +MADAME'S IMPRESSIONS + +The marriage ceremony at the Town Hall has, no doubt, a tolerable +importance; but is it really possible for a well-bred person to regard +this importance seriously? I have been through it; I have undergone like +every one else this painful formality, and I can not look back on it +without feeling a kind of humiliation. On alighting from the carriage +I descried a muddy staircase; walls placarded with bills of every color, +and in front of one of them a man in a snuff-colored coat, bare-headed, a +pen behind his ear, and papers under his arm, who was rolling a cigarette +between his inky fingers. To the left a door opened and I caught a +glimpse of a low dark room in which a dozen fellows belonging to the +National Guard were smoking black pipes. My first thought on entering +this barrack-room was that I had done wisely in not putting on my gray +dress. We ascended the staircase and I saw a long, dirty, dim passage, +with a number of half-glass doors, on which I read: "Burials. Turn the +handle," "Expropriations," "Deaths. Knock loudly," "Inquiries," +"Births," "Public Health," etc., and at length "Marriages." + +We entered in company with a small lad who was carrying a bottle of ink; +the atmosphere was thick, heavy, and hot, and made one feel ill. +Happily, an attendant in a blue livery, resembling in appearance the +soldiers I had seen below, stepped forward to ask us to excuse him for +not having at once ushered us into the Mayor's drawing-room, which is no +other than the first-class waiting-room. I darted into it as one jumps +into a cab when it begins to rain suddenly. Almost immediately two +serious persons, one of whom greatly resembled the old cashier at the +Petit-Saint-Thomas, brought in two registers, and, opening them, wrote +for some time; only stopping occasionally to ask the name, age, and +baptismal names of both of us, then, saying to themselves, "Semi-colon . +. . between the aforesaid . . . fresh paragraph, etc., etc." + +When he had done, the one like the man cashier at the Petit-Saint-Thomas +read aloud, through his nose, that which he had put down, and of which I +could understand nothing, except that my name was several times repeated +as well as that of the other "aforesaid." A pen was handed to us and we +signed. Voila. + +"Is it over?" said I to Georges, who to my great surprise was very pale. + +"Not yet, dear," said he; "we must now go into the hall, where the +marriage ceremony takes place." + +We entered a large, empty hall with bare walls; a bust of the Emperor was +at the farther end over a raised platform, some armchairs, and some +benches behind them, and dust upon everything. I must have been in a +wrong mood, for it seemed to me I was entering the waiting-room at a +railway-station; nor could I help looking at my aunts, who were very +merry, over the empty chairs. The gentlemen, who no doubt affected not +to think as we did, were, on the contrary, all very serious, and I could +discern very well that Georges was actually trembling. At length the +Mayor came in by a little door and appeared before us, awkward and podgy +in his dress-coat, which was too large for him, and which his scarf +caused to rise up. He was a very respectable man who had amassed a +decent fortune from the sale of iron bedsteads; yet how could I bring +myself to think that this embarrassed-looking, ill-dressed, timid little +creature could, with a word hesitatingly uttered, unite me in eternal +bonds? Moreover, he had a fatal likeness to my piano-tuner. + +The Mayor, after bowing to us, as a man bows when without his hat, and in +a white cravat, that is to say, clumsily, blew his nose, to the great +relief of his two arms which he did not know what to do with, and briskly +began the little ceremony. He hurriedly mumbled over several passages of +the Code, giving the numbers of the paragraphs; and I was given +confusedly to understand that I was threatened with the police if I did +not blindly obey all the orders and crotchets of my husband, and if I did +not follow wherever he might choose to take me, even if it should be to a +sixth floor in the Rue-Saint-Victor. A score of times I was on the point +of interrupting the Mayor, and saying, "Excuse me, Monsieur, but those +remarks are hardly polite as regards myself, and you yourself must know +that they are devoid of meaning." + +But I restrained myself for fear I might frighten the magistrate, who +seemed to me to be in a hurry to finish. He added, however, a few words +on the mutual duties of husband and wife--copartnership--paternity, etc., +etc.; but all these things, which would perhaps have made me weep +anywhere else, seemed grotesque to me, and I could not forget that dozen +of soldiers playing piquet round the stove, and that row of doors on +which I had read "Public Health," "Burials," "Deaths," "Expropriations," +etc. I should have been aggrieved at this dealer in iron bedsteads +touching on my cherished dreams if the comic side of the situation had +not absorbed my whole attention, and if a mad wish to laugh outright had +not seized me. + +"Monsieur Georges -------- , do you swear to take for your wife +Mademoiselle ----------- ," said the Mayor, bending forward. + +My husband bowed and answered "Yes" in a very low voice. He has since +acknowledged to me that he never felt more emotion in his life than in +uttering that "Yes." + +"Mademoiselle Berthe -------- ," continued the magistrate, turning to me, +"do you swear to take for your husband -----------" + +I bowed, with a smile, and said to myself: "Certainly; that is plain +enough; I came here for that express purpose." + +That was all. I was married! + +My father and my husband shook hands like men who had not met for twenty +years; the eyes of both were moist. As for myself, it was impossible for +me to share their emotion. I was very hungry, and mamma and I had the +carriage pulled up at the pastry-cook's before going on to the +dressmaker's. + +The next morning was the great event, and when I awoke it was hardly +daylight. I opened the door leading into the drawing-room; there my +dress was spread out on the sofa, the veil folded beside it, my shoes, my +wreath in a large white box, nothing was lacking. I drank a glass of +water. I was nervous, uneasy, happy, trembling. It seemed like the +morning of a battle when one is sure of winning a medal. I thought of +neither my past nor my future; I was wholly taken up with the idea of the +ceremony, of that sacrament, the most solemn of all, of the oath I was +about to take before God, and also by the thought of the crowd gathered +expressly to see me pass. + +We breakfasted early. My father was in his boots, his trousers, his +white tie, and his dressing-gown. My mother also was half dressed. It +seemed to me that the servants took greater pains in waiting on me and +showed me more respect. I even remember that Marie said, "The +hairdresser has come, Madame." Madame! Good girl, I have not forgotten +it. + +It was impossible for me to eat; my throat was parched and I experienced +all over me shudders of impatience, something like the sensation one has +when one is very-thirsty and is waiting for the sugar to melt. The tones +of the organ seemed to haunt me, and the wedding of Emma and Louis +recurred to my mind. I dressed; the hairdresser called me "Madame" too, +and arranged my hair so nicely that I said, I remember, "Things are +beginning well; this coiffure is a good omen." I stopped Marie, who +wished to lace me tighter than usual. I know that white makes one look +stouter and that Marie was right; but I was afraid lest it should send +the blood to my head. I have always had a horror of brides who looked as +if they had just got up from table. Religious emotions should be too +profound to be expressed by anything save pallor. It is silly to blush +under certain circumstances. + +When I was dressed I entered the drawing-room to have a little more room +and to spread out my trailing skirts. My father and Georges were already +there, talking busily. + +"Have the carriages come?--yes--and about the 'Salutaris'?--very good, +then, you will see to everything--and the marriage coin--certainly, +I have the ring--Mon Dieu! where is my certificate of confession? Ah! +good, I left it in the carriage." + +They were saying all this hurriedly and gesticulating like people having +great business on hand. When Georges caught sight of me he kissed my +hand, and while the maids kneeling about me were settling the skirt, and +the hairdresser was clipping the tulle of the veil, he said in a husky +voice, "You look charming, dear." + +He was not thinking in the least of what he was saying, and I answered +mechanically: + +"Do you think so? Not too short, the veil, Monsieur Silvani. Don't +forget the bow on the bodice, Marie." + +When one has to look after everything, one needs all one's wits. +However, Georges' husky voice recurred to me, and I said to myself, "I am +sure that he has caught a cold; it is plain that he has had his hair cut +too short." + +I soon got at the true state of the case. + +"You have a cold, my dear fellow," said my father. + +"Don't speak of it," he answered in a low voice. And still lower, and +with a somewhat embarrassed smile: "Will you be so kind as to give me an +extra pocket-handkerchief? I have but one--" + +"Certainly, my dear boy." + +"Thanks, very much." + +It was a trifle, to be sure, but I felt vexed, and I remember that, when +going downstairs with them holding up my train behind me, I said to +myself, "I do hope that he does not sneeze at the altar." + +I soon forgot all about it. We got into the carriage; I felt that every +one was looking at me, and I caught sight of groups of spectators in the +street beyond the carriage gates. What I felt is impossible to describe, +but it was something delightful. The sound of the beadles' canes on the +pavement will forever reecho in my heart. We halted for a moment on the +red drugget. The great organ poured forth the full tones of a triumphal +march; thousands of eager faces turned toward me, and there in the +background, amidst an atmosphere of sunshine, incense, velvet, and gold, +were two gilt armchairs for us to seat ourselves on before the altar. + +I do not know why an old engraving in my father's study crossed my mind. +It represents the entry of Alexander the Great into Babylon; he is on an +elephant which is glittering with precious stones. You must know it. +Only, Alexander was a heathen who had many things to reproach himself +with, while I was not. + +God smiled on me, and with His paternal hand invited me to seat myself in +His house, on His red drugget, in His gilt armchair. The heavens, full +of joy, made music for me, and on high, through the glittering stained- +glass windows, the archangels, full of kind feeling, whispered as they +watched me. As I advanced, heads were bent as a wheat-field bends +beneath the breeze. My friends, my relatives, my enemies, bowed to us, +and I saw--for one sees everything in spite of one's self on these solemn +occasions--that they did not think that I looked ugly. On reaching the +gilt chair, I bent forward with restrained eagerness--my chignon was +high, revealing my neck, which is passable--and thanked the Lord. The +organ ceased its triumphal song and I could hear my poor mother bursting +into tears beside me. Oh! I understand what a mother's heart must feel +during such a ceremony. While watching with satisfaction the clergy who +were solemnly advancing, I noticed Georges; he seemed irritated; he was +stiff, upright, his nostrils dilated, and his lips set. I have always +been rather vexed at him for not having been a little more sensible to +what I was experiencing that day, but men do not understand this kind of +poetry. + +The discourse of his Reverence who married us was a masterpiece, and was +delivered, moreover, with that unction, that dignity, that persuasive +charm peculiar to him. He spoke of our two families "in which pious +belief was hereditary, like honor." You could have heard a pin drop, +such was the attention with which the prelate's voice was listened to. +Then at one point he turned toward me, and gave me to understand with a +thousand delicacies that I was wedding one of the noblest officers in the +army. "Heaven smiles," said he, "on the warrior who places at the +service of his country a sword blessed by God, and who, when he darts +into the fray, can place his hand upon his heart and shout to the enemy +that noble war-cry, 'I believe!'" How well that was turned! What +grandeur in this holy eloquence! A thrill ran through the assembly. +But that was not all. His Lordship then addressed Georges in a voice as +soft and unctuous as it had before been ringing and enthusiastic. + +"Monsieur, you are about to take as your companion a young girl"--I +scarcely dare recall the graceful and delicate things that his Reverence +said respecting me--"piously reared by a Christian mother who has been +able to share with her, if I may say so, all the virtues of her heart, +all the charms of her mind." (Mamma was sobbing.) "She will love her +husband as she has loved her father, that father full of kindness, who, +from the cradle, implanted in her the sentiments of nobility and +disinterestedness which--" (Papa smiled despite himself.) "Her father, +whose name is known to the poor, and who in the house of God has his +place marked among the elect." (Since his retirement, papa has become +churchwarden.) "And you, Monsieur, will respect, I feel certain, so much +purity, such ineffable candor"--I felt my eyes grow moist--"and without +forgetting the physical and perishable charms of this angel whom God +bestows upon you, you will thank Heaven for those qualities a thousand +times more precious and more lasting contained in her heart and her +mind." + +We were bidden to stand up, and stood face to face with one another like +the divine spouses in the picture of Raphael. We exchanged the golden +ring, and his Reverence, in a slow, grave voice, uttered some Latin +words, the sense of which I did not understand, but which greatly moved +me, for the prelate's hand, white, delicate, and transparent, seemed to +be blessing me. The censer, with its bluish smoke, swung by the hands of +children, shed in the air its holy perfume. What a day, great heavens! +All that subsequently took place grows confused in my memory. I was +dazzled, I was transported. I can remember, however, the bonnet with +white roses in which Louise had decked herself out. Strange it is how +some people are quite wanting in taste! + +Going to the vestry, I leaned on the General's arm, and it was then that +I saw the spectators' faces. All seemed touched. + +Soon they thronged round to greet me. The vestry was full, they pushed +and pressed round me, and I replied to all these smiles, to all these +compliments, by a slight bow in which religious emotion peeped forth in +spite of me. I felt conscious that something solemn had just taken place +before God and man; I felt conscious of being linked in eternal bonds. +I was married! + +By a strange fancy I then fell to thinking of the pitiful ceremony of the +day before. I compared--God forgive me for doing so!--the ex-dealer in +iron bedsteads, ill at ease in his dress-coat, to the priest; the trivial +and commonplace words of the mayor, with the eloquent outbursts of the +venerable prelate. What a lesson! There earth, here heaven; there the +coarse prose of the man of business, here celestial poesy. + +Georges, to whom I lately spoke about this, said: + +"But, my dear, perhaps you don't know that marriage at the Town Hall +before the registrar is gratis, while--" I put my hand over his mouth to +prevent him from finishing; it seemed to me that he was about to utter +some impiety. + +Gratis, gratis. That is exactly what I find so very unseemly. + + + + +CHAPTER XI + +A WEDDING NIGHT + +Thanks to country manners and the solemnity of the occasion, the guests +had left fairly early. Almost every one had shaken hands with me, some +with a cunning smile and others with a foolish one, some with an +officious gravity that suggested condolence, and others with a stupid +cordiality verging on indiscretion. + +General de S. and the prefect, two old friends of the family, were +lingering over a game of ecarte, and frankly, in spite of all the good- +will I bore toward them, I should have liked to see them at the devil, so +irritable did I feel that evening. + +All this took place, I had forgotten to tell you, the very day of my +marriage, and I was really rather tired. Since morning I had been +overwhelmed by an average of about two hundred people, all actuated by +the best intentions, but as oppressive as the atmosphere before a storm. +Since morning I had kept up a perpetual smile for all, and then the good +village priest who had married us had thought it his duty, in a very neat +sermon so far as the rest of it went, to compare me to Saint Joseph, and +that sort of thing is annoying when one is Captain in a lancer regiment. +The Mayor, who had been good enough to bring his register to the chateau, +had for his part not been able, on catching sight of the prefect, to +resist the pleasure of crying, "Long live the Emperor!" On quitting the +church they had fired off guns close to my ears and presented me with an +immense bouquet. Finally--I tell you this between ourselves--since eight +o'clock in the morning I had had on a pair of boots rather too tight for +me, and at the moment this narrative begins it was about half an hour +after midnight. + +I had spoken to every one except my dear little wife, whom they seemed to +take pleasure in keeping away from me. Once, however, on ascending the +steps, I had squeezed her hand on the sly. Even then this rash act had +cost me a look, half sharp and half sour, from my mother-in-law, which +had recalled me to a true sense of the situation. If, Monsieur, you +happen to have gone through a similar day of violent effusion and general +expansion, you will agree with me that during no other moment of your +life were you more inclined to irritability. + +What can you say to the cousins who kiss you, to the aunts who cling +round your neck and weep into your waistcoat, to all these smiling faces +ranged one beyond the other before you, to all those eyes which have been +staring at you for twelve hours past, to all those outbursts of affection +which you have not sought, but which claim a word from the heart in +reply? + +At the end of such a day one's very heart is foundered. You say to +yourself: "Come, is it all over? Is there yet a tear to wipe away, +a compliment to receive, an agitated hand to clasp? Is every one +satisfied? Have they seen enough of the bridegroom? Does any one want +any more of him? Can I at length give a thought to my own happiness, +think of my dear little wife who is waiting for me with her head buried +in the folds of her pillow? Who is waiting for me!" That flashes +through your mind all at once like a train of powder. You had not +thought of it. During the whole of the day this luminous side of the +question had remained veiled, but the hour approaches, at this very +moment the silken laces of her bodice are swishing as they are unloosed; +she is blushing, agitated, and dare not look at herself in the glass for +fear of noting her own confusion. Her aunt and her mother, her cousin +and her bosom friend, surround and smile at her, and it is a question of +who shall unhook her dress, remove the orange-blossoms from her hair, and +have the last kiss. + +Good! now come the tears; they are wiped away and followed by kisses. +The mother whispers something in her ear about a sacrifice, the future, +necessity, obedience, and finds means to mingle with these simple but +carefully prepared words the hope of celestial benedictions and of the +intercession of a dove or two hidden among the curtains. + +The poor child does not understand anything about it, except it be that +something unheard-of is about to take place, that the young man--she dare +not call him anything else in her thoughts--is about to appear as a +conqueror and address her in wondrous phrases, the very anticipation of +which makes her quiver with impatience and alarm. The child says not a +word--she trembles, she weeps, she quivers like a partridge in a furrow. +The last words of her mother, the last farewells of her family, ring +confusedly in her ears, but it is in vain that she strives to seize on +their meaning; her mind--where is that poor mind of hers? She really +does not know, but it is no longer under her control. + +"Ah! Captain," I said to myself, "what joys are hidden beneath these +alarms, for she loves you. Do you remember that kiss which she let you +snatch coming out of church that evening when the Abbe What's-his-name +preached so well, and those hand-squeezings and those softened glances, +and--happy Captain, floods of love will inundate you; she is awaiting +you!" + +Here I gnawed my moustache, I tore my gloves off and then put them on +again, I walked up and down the little drawing-room, I shifted the clock, +which stood on the mantel-shelf; I could not keep still. I had already +experienced such sensations on the morning of the assault on the +Malakoff. Suddenly the General, who was still going on with his eternal +game at ecarte with the prefect, turned round. + +"What a noise you are making, Georges!" said he. "Cards, if you please, +Prefect." + +"But, General, the fact is that I feel, I will not conceal from you, a +certain degree of emotion and--" + +"The king-one-and four trumps. My dear friend, you are not in luck," +said he to the prefect, and pulling up with an effort the white waistcoat +covering his stomach, he slipped some louis which were on the table L931 +into his fob; then bethinking himself, he added: "In fact, my poor +fellow, you think yourself bound to keep us company. It is late and we +have three leagues to cover from here to B. Every one has left, too." + +At last he departed. I can still see his thick neck, the back of which +formed a roll of fat over his ribbon of the Legion of Honor. I heard him +get into his carriage; he was still laughing at intervals. I could have +thrashed him. + +"At last!" I said to myself; "at last!" I mechanically glanced at +myself in the glass. I was crimson, and my boots, I am ashamed to say, +were horribly uncomfortable. I was furious that such a grotesque detail +as tight boots should at such a moment have power to attract my +attention; but I promised to be sincere, and I am telling you the whole +truth. + +Just then the clock struck one, and my mother-in-law made her appearance. +Her eyes were red, and her ungloved hand was crumpling up a handkerchief +visibly moistened. + +At the sight of her my first movement was one of impatience. I said to +myself, "I am in for a quarter of an hour of it at least." + +Indeed, Madame de C. sank down on a couch, took my hand, and burst into +tears. Amid her sobs she ejaculated, "Georges--my dear boy--Georges--my +son." + +I felt that I could not rise to the occasion. "Come, Captain," I said to +myself, "a tear; squeeze forth a tear. You can not get out of this +becomingly without a tear, or it will be, 'My son-in-law, it is all +off.'" + +When this stupid phrase, derived from I do not know where--a Palais Royal +farce, I believe--had once got into my head, it was impossible for me to +get rid of it, and I felt bursts of wild merriment welling up to my lips. + +"Calm yourself, Madame; calm yourself." + +"How can I, Georges? Forgive me, my dear boy." + +"Can you doubt me, Madame?" + +I felt that "Madame" was somewhat cold, but I was afraid of making Madame +de C. seem old by calling her "mother." I knew her to be somewhat of a +coquette. + +"Oh, I do not doubt your affection; go, my dear boy, go and make her +happy; yes, oh, yes! Fear nothing on my account; I am strong." + +Nothing is more unbearable than emotion when one does not share it. +I murmured "Mother!" feeling that after all she must appreciate such an +outburst; then approaching, I kissed her, and made a face in spite of +myself--such a salt and disagreeable flavor had been imparted to my +mother-in-law's countenance by the tears she had shed. + + + + +CHAPTER XII + +THE HONEYMOON + +It had been decided that we should pass the first week of our honeymoon +at Madame de C.'s chateau. A little suite of apartments had been fitted +up for us, upholstered in blue chintz, delightfully cool-looking. The +term "cool-looking" may pass here for a kind of bad joke, for in reality +it was somewhat damp in this little paradise, owing to the freshly +repaired walls. + +A room had been specially reserved for me, and it was thither that, after +heartily kissing my dear mother-in-law, I flew up the stairs four at a +time. On an armchair, drawn in front of the fire, was spread out my +maroon velvet dressing-gown and close beside it were my slippers. I +could not resist, and I frantically pulled off my boots. Be that as it +may, my heart was full of love, and a thousand thoughts were whirling +through my head in frightful confusion. I made an effort, and reflected +for a moment on my position: + +"Captain," said I to myself, "the approaching moment is a solemn one. +On the manner in which you cross the threshold of married life depends +your future happiness. It is not a small matter to lay the first stone +of an edifice. A husband's first kiss"--I felt a thrill run down my +back--"a husband's first kiss is like the fundamental axiom that serves +as a basis for a whole volume. Be prudent, Captain. She is there beyond +that wall, the fair young bride, who is awaiting you; her ear on the +alert, her neck outstretched, she is listening to each of your movements. +At every creak of the boards she shivers, dear little soul." + +As I said this, I took off my coat and my cravat. "Your line of conduct +lies before you ready traced out," I added; "be impassioned with due +restraint, calm with some warmth, good, kind, tender; but at the same +time let her have a glimpse of the vivacities of an ardent affection and +the attractive aspect of a robust temperament." Suddenly I put my coat +on again. I felt ashamed to enter my wife's room in a dressing-gown and +night attire. Was it not equal to saying to her: "My dear, I am at home; +see how I make myself so"? It was making a show of rights which I did +not yet possess, so I rearranged my dress, and after the thousand details +of a careful toilette I approached the door and gave three discreet +little taps. Oh! I can assure you that I was all in a tremble, and my +heart was beating so violently that I pressed my hand to my chest to +restrain its throbs. + +She answered nothing, and after a moment of anguish I decided to knock +again. I felt tempted to say in an earnest voice, "It is I, dear; may I +come in?" But I also felt that it was necessary that this phrase should +be delivered in the most perfect fashion, and I was afraid of marring its +effect; I remained, therefore, with a smile upon my lips as if she had +been able to see me, and I twirled my moustache, which, without +affectation, I had slightly perfumed. + +I soon heard a faint cough, which seemed to answer me and to grant me +admission. Women, you see, possess that exquisite tact, that extreme +delicacy, which is wholly lacking to us. Could one say more cleverly, +in a more charming manner, "Come, I await you, my love, my spouse"? +Saint Peter would not have hit upon it. That cough was heaven opening to +me. I turned the handle, the door swept noiselessly over the soft +carpet. I was in my wife's room. + +A delightful warmth met me face to face, and I breathed a vague perfume +of violets and orris-root, or something akin, with which the air of the +room was laden. A charming disorder was apparent, the ball dress was +spread upon a lounging-chair, two candles were discreetly burning beneath +rose-colored shades. + +I drew near the bed where Louise was reposing, on the farther side of it, +with her face to the wall, and her head buried in the pillows. +Motionless and with closed eyes she appeared to be asleep, but her +heightened color betrayed her emotion. I must acknowledge that at that +moment I felt the most embarrassed of mankind. I resolved humbly to +request hospitality. That would be delicate and irreproachable. Oh! +you who have gone through these trials, search your memories and recall +that ridiculous yet delightful moment, that moment of mingled anguish and +joy, when it becomes necessary, without any preliminary rehearsal, to +play the most difficult of parts, and to avoid the ridicule which is +grinning at you from the folds of the curtains; to be at one and the same +time a diplomatist, a barrister, and a man of action, and by skill, tact, +and eloquence render the sternest of realities acceptable without +banishing the most ideal of dreams. + +I bent over the bed, and in the softest notes, the sweetest tones my +voice could compass, I murmured, "Well, darling?" + +One does what one can at such moments; I could not think of anything +better, and yet, Heaven knows, I had tried. + +No reply, and yet she was awake. I will admit that my embarrassment was +doubled. I had reckoned--I can say as much between ourselves--upon more +confidence and greater yielding. I had calculated on a moment of +effusiveness, full of modesty and alarm, it is true, but, at any rate, I +had counted upon such effusiveness, and I found myself strangely +disappointed. The silence chilled me. + +"You sleep very soundly, dear. Yet I have a great many things to say; +won't you talk a little?" + +As I spoke I--touched her shoulder with the tip of my finger, and saw her +suddenly shiver. + +"Come," said I; "must I kiss you to wake you up altogether?" + +She could not help smiling, and I saw that she was blushing. + +"Oh! do not be afraid, dear; I will only kiss the tips of your fingers +gently, like that," and seeing that she let me do so, I sat down on the +bed. + +She gave a little cry. I had sat down on her foot, which was straying +beneath the bedclothes. + +"Please let me go to sleep," she said, with a supplicating air; "I am so +tired." + +"And how about myself, my dear child? I am ready to drop. See, I am in +evening dress, and have not a pillow to rest my head on, not one, except +this one." I had her hand in mine, and I squeezed it while kissing it. +"Would you be very vexed to lend this pillow to your husband? Come, are +you going to refuse me a little bit of room? I am not troublesome, I can +assure you." + +I thought I noted a smile on her lips, and, impatient to escape from my +delicate position, in a moment I rose, and, while continuing to converse, +hastelessly and noiselessly undressed. I was burning my ships. When my +ships were burned there was absolutely nothing left for me to do but to +get into bed. + +Louise gave a little cry, then she threw herself toward the wall, and I +heard a kind of sob. + +I had one foot in bed and the other out, and remained petrified, a smile +on my lips, and supporting myself wholly on one arm. + +"What is the matter-dear; what is the matter? Forgive me if I have +offended you." + +I brought my head closer to her own, and, while inhaling the perfume of +her hair, whispered in her ear: + +"I love you, my dear child; I love you, little wife; don't you think that +I do?" + +She turned toward me her eyes, moistened with tears, and said in a voice +broken by emotion and so soft, so low, so tender, that it penetrated to +the marrow of my bones: + +"I love you, too. But let me sleep!" + +"Sleep, my loved angel; sleep fearlessly, my love. I am going away; +sleep while I watch over you," I said. + +Upon my honor I felt a sob rise to my throat, and yet the idea that my +last remark was not badly turned shot through my brain. I pulled the +coverings over her again and tucked her up like a child. I can still see +her rosy face buried in that big pillow, the curls of fair hair escaping +from under the lace of her little nightcap. With her left hand she held +the counterpane close up under her chin, and I saw on one of her fingers +the new and glittering wedding-ring I had given her that morning. She +was charming, a bird nestling in cottonwool, a rosebud fallen amid snow. +When she was settled I bent over her and kissed her on the forehead. + +"I am repaid," said I to her, laughing; "are you comfortable, Louise?" + +She did not answer, but her eyes met mine and I saw in them a smile which +seemed to thank me, but a smile so subtle that in any other circumstances +I should have seen a shadow of raillery in it. + +"Now, Captain, settle yourself in this armchair and goodnight!" I said +this to myself, and I made an effort to raise my unfortunate foot which I +had forgotten, a heroic effort, but it was impossible to accomplish it. +The leg was so benumbed that I could not move it. As well as I could I +hoisted myself upon the other leg, and, hobbling, reached my armchair +without appearing too lame. The room seemed to me twice as wide to cross +as the Champ de Mars, for hardly had I taken a step in its chilly +atmosphere--the fire had gone out, it was April, and the chateau +overlooked the Loire--when the cold reminded me of the scantiness of my +costume. What! to cross the room before that angel, who was doubtless +watching me, in the most grotesque of costumes, and with a helpless leg +into the bargain! Why had I forgotten my dressing-gown? However, I +reached the armchair, into which I sank. I seized my dress-coat which +was beside me, threw it over my shoulders, twisted my white cravat round +my neck, and, like a soldier bivouacking, I sought a comfortable +position. + +It would have been all very well without the icy cold that assailed my +legs, and I saw nothing in reach to cover me. I said to myself, +"Captain, the position is not tenable," when at length I perceived on the +couch--One sometimes is childishly ashamed, but I really dared not, and I +waited for a long minute struggling between a sense of the ridiculous and +the cold which I felt was increasing. At last, when I heard my wife's +breathing become more regular and thought that she must be asleep, I +stretched out my arm and pulled toward me her wedding-gown which was on +the couch--the silk rustled enough to wake the dead--and with the energy +which one always finds on an emergency, wrapped it round me savagely like +a railway rug. Then yielding to an involuntary fit of sybaritism, I +unhooked the bellows and tried to get the fire to burn. + +"After all," I said to myself, arranging the blackened embers and working +the little instrument with a thousand precautions, "after all, I have +behaved like a gentleman. If the General saw me at this moment he would +laugh in my face; but no matter, I have acted rightly." + +Had I not sworn to be sincere, I do not know whether I should acknowledge +to you that I suddenly felt horrible tinglings in the nasal regions. I +wished to restrain myself, but the laws of nature are those which one can +not escape. My respiration suddenly ceased, I felt a superhuman power +contract my facial muscles, my nostrils dilated, my eyes closed, and all +at once I sneezed with such violence that the bottle of Eau des Carmes +shook again. God forgive me! A little cry came from the bed, and +immediately afterward the most silvery frank and ringing outbreak of +laughter followed. Then she added in her simple, sweet, musical tones: + +"Have you hurt yourself--, Georges?" She had said Georges after a brief +silence, and in so low a voice that I scarcely heard it. + +"I am very ridiculous, am I not, dear? and you are quite right to laugh +at me. What would you have? I am camping out and I am undergoing the +consequences." + +"You are not ridiculous, but you are catching cold," and she began to +laugh again. + +"Naughty girl!" + +"Cruel one, you ought to say, and you would not be wrong if I were to let +you fall ill." She said this with charming grace. There was a mingling +of timidity and tenderness, modesty and raillery, which I find it +impossible to express, but which stupefied me. She smiled at me, then I +saw her move nearer to the wall in order to leave room for me, and, as I +hesitated to cross the room. + +"Come, forgive me," she said. + +I approached the bed; my teeth were chattering. + +"How kind you are to me, dear," she said to me after a moment or so; +"will you wish me good-night?" and she held out her cheek to me. I +approached nearer, but as the candle had just gone out I made a mistake +as to the spot, and my lips brushed hers. She quivered, then, after a +brief silence, she murmured in a low tone, "You must forgive me; you +frightened me so just now." + +"I wanted to kiss you, dear." + +"Well, kiss me, my husband." + +Within the trembling young girl the coquetry of the woman was breaking +forth in spite of herself. + +I could not help it; she exhaled a delightful perfume which mounted to my +brain, and the contact of this dear creature whom I touched, despite +myself, swept away all my resolutions. + +My lips--I do not know how it was--met hers, and we remained thus for a +long moment; I felt against my breast the echo of the beating heart, and +her rapid breathing came full into my face. + +"You do love me a little, dear?" I whispered in her ear. + +I distinguished amid a confused sigh a little "Yes!" that resembled a +mere breath. + +"I don't frighten you any longer?" + +"No," she murmured, very softly. + +"You will be my little wife, then, Louise; you will let me teach you to +love me as I love you?" + +"I do love you," said she, but so softly and so gently that she seemed to +be dreaming. + +How many times have we not laughed over these recollections, already so +remote. + + + + +ETEXT EDITOR'S BOOKMARKS: + +A ripe husband, ready to fall from the tree +Answer "No," but with a little kiss which means "Yes" +As regards love, intention and deed are the same +Clumsily, blew his nose, to the great relief of his two arms +Emotion when one does not share it +Hearty laughter which men affect to assist digestion +How rich we find ourselves when we rummage in old drawers +Husband who loves you and eats off the same plate is better +I came here for that express purpose +Ignorant of everything, undesirous of learning anything +It is silly to blush under certain circumstances +Love in marriage is, as a rule, too much at his ease +Rather do not give--make yourself sought after +Reckon yourself happy if in your husband you find a lover +There are pious falsehoods which the Church excuses +To be able to smoke a cigar without being sick +Why mankind has chosen to call marriage a man-trap + + + + +End of this Project Gutenberg Etext of Monsieur, Madame, and Bebe, v1 +by Gustave Droz + diff --git a/3923.zip b/3923.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..09d2cb2 --- /dev/null +++ b/3923.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. 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